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HOME TOUE
THROUGH VARIOUS PARTS
OF THE
UNITED KINGDOM.
BEING
A CONTINUATION OF THE " HOME TOUR THROUGH
THE MANUFACTURING DISTRICTS."
ALSO,
MEMOIRS
OF AN
ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL.
SIR GEORGE HEAD,
AUTHOR OF ^
FOREST SCENES AND INCIDENTS IN THE WILDS OF NORTH AilEPUCA.
LONDON :
JOHN MURRAY, ALBEMARLE STREET.
MDCCCXXXVII.
^^^
,W34 K.£3o
TO HIS EXCELLENCY
SIR FRANCIS BOND HEAD, BART., K.C.H.,
LIEUTENANT-GOVERNOR OF UTTER CANADA,
ETC., ETC., ETC.,
I DEDICATE THIS SMALL VOLUME,—
INSIGNIFICANT INDEED AS A TRIBUTE OF RESPECT,
BUT A SINCERE
TESTIMONY OF A BROTHER'S REGARD.
GEORGE HEAD.
Athen.teum Club, Pall Mall,
29th June, 1837.
58^?;'ii8
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
ISLE OF MAN.
Page
The Mona's Isle Steamer — Rough Music — A Ventriloquist
— Douglas Head — Extreme Clearness of the Water — The
Pier — Porters — Hotel Agents — Castle Moua — Mode of
conveyance thither — British Hotel — The Town of Douglas. 1
CHAPTER II.
Douglas during the Cholera — Church of Kirkbraddan — A
Funeral — Another Funeral — A Visit to the South — Derby
Haven — Castleton — Poolvash — Marble Quarries — A Mis-
understanding — A vicious Pony — Salt Water Spring —
Port le Murray — Sullen demeanour of Females — Spanish
Head — Sea Birds — Further Misunderstanding — An Eclair-
cissement . . .11
CHAPTER III.
A Ride to Peel Town — Agriculture — St. John's — Tynwald
Mount — The Ceremony of Tynwald — The Fair — Peel
Town — Fishermen — The Quay — Peel Castle — Old Tom
— An ingenious Experiment — The Cavern . . .31
CHAPTER IV.
A Benefit Society — A Manx Peasant — Waterfall of Glen-
maye — Church and Church-yard of Kirk Patrick — Slate
CONTENTS.
Page
Tomb-stones — Waterfall of Foxdale — Foxdale Lead Mines
— Slate Quarries at Barrule — Mills — Indigenous Mill-stone
— Improved Aspect of the Country — Kirk Christ Rushen
— Port Iron — A Night's Lodging in a Public-house — A
rough Landing-place — GuUs protected — Brada Head —
Lead Mines — Their extraordinary Position — Calf of Man
— Beautiful Natural Quay — Rats and Rat-catchers — As-
pect of the Island — Rabbits — Boswell's House . 45
CHAPTER V.
A Ride to Ramsey — Laxey — Lead Mines — MaugholdHead
=— Cliffs — Their extraordinary Character — The Village —
The Well — Tradition — Town of Ramsey — Bay —Singular
Jetty — A Manx Wedding Party — The Earl Grey Stage
Coach — A talkative Lad)' — Benevolence ill rewarded . 66
CHAPTER VI.
A Ride from Ramsey to the Point of Ayre — The Horse
Paddy — The Garden of the Island — Fine Crops — Ex-
treme Fertility of Soil — Luxuriant Furze — Bruising Mills —
Kirkbride — The Point of Ayre — Jurby Point — The Village
— The Church and Church-yard — A Man of Leisure— The
Minister's Grave — The Bishop's Residence — The Curragh
— Turf — Fossil Remains — Kirkmichael — Glenwillan —
Beautiful Glen — Rivulet — Iron Spring — Ride across the
Mountains to Douglas, by Kirkbraddan — An ill-placed
Residence ......... 80
CHAPTER VH.
SCOTLAND.
Steam Communication from Liverpool to Glasgow — Packet
Agent at Ramsey — Departure — Boarding a Steamer at
Night — Sickness — Mull of Galloway — Ailsa Craig — The
Clyde — The Broomielaw — Inland Navigation — The Maid
CONTENTS. IX
Page
of Morven Steamer — The Vessel en Deshabille — Voyage to
Greenock — The Kyles of Bute — Lochgoilhead — Creenin
Canal — Korryvrekan — Island of Eisdale — Arrive at Oban. 92
CHAPTER VIII.
Go on board the Highland Steamer — Dunolly Castle — Bay
of Tobermory — A kind Landlady — Expedition in the High-
lander — Departure — Calliach Head — Treshanish Islands
— First View of StafFa — The Buchaille — Inconvenient
Landing at lona — Pebbles — The Ruins — Their desecra-
tion — ^A civil Scotsman — Embarkation — Landing at Staffa
— Fingall's Cave — Ascent on the Island — Delightful Pro-
spect — A Herd of Seals — Anecdote of a Tame Seal — Its
resemblance to the Mermaid — Dr. Taylor's Museum of
comparative Anatomy at Manchester — Anecdote of a Boa
Constrictor at Derby — Re-embarkation — The Cotton Um-
brella — A black Cook — Return to Tobermory . .109
CHAPTER IX.
A Mull Pony — Path round the Bay — Domain of the Laird
of Col — A native Eagle — Mode of preparing Salmon for
long Voyages — Establishment of a Lincolnshire Poulterer
—Return in the Highlander to Oban — Re-embark on board
the Maid of Morven — Tedious Passage to Fitzwilliam — A
Handicap in the Dark — Bad Night's Lodging — Fall of
Foyers — Royalty in an Omnibus . . . . .140
CHAPTER X.
ISLAND OF GUERNSEY.
Landing at St. Peter's Port — Yacht Club Hotel — Inns in
general— A Pair of Hostesses — A President of a Table
X CONTENTS.
Page
d'Hote— The Fish Market— The Shambles— Woodcocks
— Wines, Fruits, and Flowers — Gardens — Frugality of the
Inhabitants — Female Servants 138
CHAPTER XI.
Environs of St. Peter's Port — Farm-houses — Aspect of the
Country — Varech — Regulations relating to the gathering
thereof — Roads — Bridle path round the Island — The Cliffs
—Flat Shores at the Northern extremity — Land reclaimed
from the Sea — Naturalization of Sea Fish to fresh Water 170
CHAPTER XII.
Laws relating to the Descent of Property — Registration of
Estates — Formalities relating thereto — Curious Documents
in the Greffier's Office — The Elizabeth College — Course of
Instruction — An Infant School 177
CHAPTER XIII.
IRELAND.
An Interruption — An Irish Crowd — A cheap Evening's
Entertainment — The poor Equestrians . . .187
CHAPTER XIV.
Preparations for Departure — Mail Coach Guard — Starting
of a Mail Coach — Energy of Coachman — A Mail Guards-
man — Rumination — Wonderful EflPect of the Horn — Merit
self-rewarded — An Exotic Refreshment — A Roadside Inn
■ — A rural Hebe — A thrifty Precaution — A Flirtation — Light
Hearts and Thin Breeches — Ringing a Pig — Happy Slum-
bers — The poor Equestrians - 195
CONTENTS. xi
CHAPTER XV.
Page
A Coffee-room — A Dinner in Galway — A Bacchanalian
Party — An accomplished Waiter — Personal Appearance-
Moral Qualities — Evening Capability — Nightly Festivity-
Morning Graces — Departure from Galway . . .207
CONTENTS OF MEMOIRS,
ETC.
CHAPTER I.
Page
Land at Lisbon — Appointed Clerk in the Commissariat —
Arrive at Badajoz — Experimental Duty — First Start on
Field Service — Depot at Coimbra — My Duties — Daily Fare
and Dessert — Aspect of the Town — Female Water-carriers
— A Night Funeral — Put in charge of an Artillery Brigade
— Latin a Key to the Portuguese Language — Busacos —
A Night March — Service of Artillery Brigade — Communi-
cation among the Army 217
CHAPTER II.
Arrive at Coimbra — Inhabitants flying before the Enemy —
A Female rescued — Manner of Life during the Retreat of
the British Army — Description of two different Nights'
Lodging — The Duke in Adversity — Artillery Brigade quar-
tered at Zibreira — Advance in Pursuit of Massena — The
French hard pressed — More than 200 hamstrung Donkeys
— Battle-field of Sabugal — Implacable Revenge of the
Peasantry on their Enemies — General Henry Mackinnon
— Spanish Oxen — Battle of Fuentes d'Onor , . .239
CHAPTER III.
Receive promotion — Appointed to Sir Brent Spencer's
Portion of the Army — Wine destroyed — Commence the
March to the Alemtejo — Cattle swimming across the Tagus
at Villa Velha — Forty-eight successive Hours on horse-
back — Put in charge of a Depot at Alto da Chao— Ordered
CONTENTS OF MEMOIRS, ETC. XIU
Page
thence to take charge of the Depot at Celorico — Manner
of Life and Duties — Infested by Rats — Pithing Cattle —
A Tame Wolf— Oxcart Transport — INlisery of the indigent
Inhabitants — Descent of Marmont on the Frontier of Beira
— Magazines destroyed 262
CHAPTER IV.
Put in charge of the Third Division of the Army — Report
myself to Sir Thomas Picton — Arduous Duties with the
Third Division — Absurd Anecdote related of a Commissary
by a Contemporary — Observations thereon — General Picton
—Battle of Vittoria 281
CHAPTER V.
A Night Adventure — Valley of Bastan — Roncesvalles —
A Hail-storm — A Thunder-storm and Cannonade before
Pampeluna — Third Division quartered at Ollaque — Pic-
ton's Junction with Sir Lowry Cole — A Night March —
Picton foils Soult — Picton on the Morning of a Battle —
Battle of the Pyrenees — Picton returns to England — Com-
parison of Picton with Wellington — Picton reproved by
Wellington — The Third Division encamp on the Pyrenees
— Manner of Life under Canvass — Battle of the Nivelle . 302
CHAPTER VI.
Winter Quarters at Hasparren — An Alert — A Practical
Joke — Foraging in the Neighbourhood of an Enemy —
The Gave d'Oleron — A Rencontre — Spanish Muleteers —
An Anecdote of their Energy — Battle of Orthez — Extra-
ordinary Course — Battle of Vic Bigorre — Critical Position
of the Third Division on the Garonne — Battle of Toulouse
— Liberal Mind of Picton — Parting of the English and
Portuguese — Third Division embark for England at Pouillac
— Conclusion 327
VOL. II. b
ADVERTISEMENT TO THE READER.
The present Continuation of the " Home Tour" em-
braces a period antecedent to that of the volume of
last year. Of this fact, unimportant with reference
to the matter contained in the pages, it is sufficient
simply to acquaint the reader.
While preparing for the press, I determined, for
more reasons than one, to change my original plan
of introducing at the end, a brief ramble in England
of the current year. I have accordingly appended
the " Memoirs of an Assistant-Commissary General"
instead.
The latter production, referring to an early date,
conceived off hand, and unpremeditatedly put forth
to the public, being explicit, needs little preface.
Yet if it were at all necessary to delineate those
causes or influences, whether springing from duty or
inclination, that allured or compelled me to the
somewhat en-atic course described now and here-
tofore in the present and two former volumes, I
have thereby at any rate, now in part supplied that
deficiency.
GEORGE HEAD.
Athen^um Club, Pall Mall,
29th June, 1837.
A HOME TOUR CONTINUED,
THROUGH
VARIOUS PARTS OF THE UNITED
KINGDOM.
CHAPTER I.
ISLE OF MAN.
The Mona's Isle Steamer — Rough Music — A Ventriloquist
— Douglas Head — Extreme Clearness of the Water — The
Pier — Porters — Hotel Agents — Castle Mona — Mode of
conveyance thither — British Hotel — The Town of Douglas.
The sun shone bright, and music played gaily on
board as the " Mona's Isle" steamer, one fine morning,
bound to Douglas in the Isle of Man, weighed an-
chor, set steam, and made the best of her way from
Liverpool out of the harbour. Whether or not it
be right to use the expression the music played, as
we say the wind bio wed, it were at all events wrong
to dignify the present three or four musicians by
the name of a band, they being in fact sailors be-
longing to the vessel, owners of a set of extremely
discordant instruments, and the leader a hard featured
pock-marked man, who squared his elbows, stood
bolt upright in a military posture, pointed the cla-
rionet downwards in a direct line with his toes, and
signaHzed himself by playing a gi'cat deal louder
VOL. II. B
2 A VENTRILOQUIST. [CH.
than all the rest together. The paddles meanwhile of
the " Mona's Isle" steamer continued to beat time differ-
ent from that of the melody as we proceeded down the
river, till we were at the mouth of the Mersey ; when,
being in the open sea, the instruments were laid
aside, the men betook themselves to their several oc-
cupations, and the paddles now drummed on by
themselves in their own measure.
In the space of an hour we were comfortably
gliding across the unruffled channel, each passenger
rejoicing in newly acquired freedom from the smoky
confines of the city, inhaling a pure atmosphere, and
above all well pleased to behold now securely ar-
ranged on the deck in decent order, all those identical
packages and portmanteaus, that only a short time
before he was following through nan'ow streets and
by-ways with overheated solicitude, like a cow her
devoted offspring in a butcher's cart, in the wake of
the porter's baiTow. Of the crew, one swept anew
the clean white deck, another rubbed salient knobs
of brass with a piece of shamoy leather, and a third
devoted the whole of his care to restoring stray
articles to their proper places.
One of the performers, to the science of music
added that of ventriloquism, and afforded by his
skill, really rational delight to a numerous group both
of quarter deck and steerage passengers, who were
attracted to the forecastle by a performance M'hich,
though here presented to the public in humble guise,
afforded nevertheless no mean specimen of a dramatic
entertainment. Besides the mechanical process of
his craft, the artist also exercised the functions of
iraprovisatore, and with ready wit, good feeling, and
tact, and a memory richly stored with the pleasantries
I.] A VENTRILOQUIST. 3
of the ancient Punch, continued to keep the laughter
of his hearers continually on the wing; so that it
were pity to reflect, witnessing tlie present display
of native talent, on the light of the needy dramatist
thus hidden under a bushel, and extinguished by the
vis inertice of poverty, that weighs merit down.
What reference the word ventriloquist can possibly
bear to a faculty whereby the whole mystery is per-
formed by the muscles of the throat, I am at a loss
to know, whereas by the etymology, one might fairly
presume that that indolent organ the belly, whose
province proverbially is to do nothing but eat, were
now about to assume a new privilege, break silence,
and talk. At all events, no matter how the sound
be generated, the artist has positively no control over
its transmission, and although indistinctness of utter-
ance may create a sort of impression of distance,
yet for the rest of the deception, the hie et uhique
sensation of a voice proceeding down the chimney,
or upwards through the window, such fantasies exist,
even to their unlimited extent, solely in the imagi-
nation of the hearer. A familiar or doll is an indis-
pensable member of a ventriloquist's establishment,
and for aught we know to the contrary, the Grecian
sage with his demon, was merely a ventriloquist ; or
at all events an autoloquist, or thinker aloud. On
the present occasion, the office was performed by a
small wooden effigy, in likeness of an old man with
a wig, whose lips, when supposed to speak, moved
extremely naturally, so as by alluring the eye to a
definite point, effectually to imbue every spectator
with a notion of reality.
The entertainment in the way of dialogue was
sustained between the ventriloquist and those of the
b2
4 A VENTRILOQUIST. [CH.
various persons present who felt inclined to enter the
list, and propose to " Tommy," for such was the
doll's name, an argument or a question ; to all which
the latter retorted with infinite success upon his
antagonists, and at the close of each sally, pro-
claimed by a curiously comical laugh, a consciousness
of success; and having moreover the infinite advan-
tage of never changing countenance or colour, he
floored his assailants as they came to the charge, one
after another. Tommy, in motley company, and of
such the present group consisted, evinced propriety
of sentiment, discreet phrase, and extreme good
humour, and, by no means a contemptible moralist,
promptly held in awe the intruder, giving people at
once to understand, that though it were his vocation
to keep fun for ever alive, yet he knew how to stifle
at its first gasp, the breath of ribaldry. Wherefore,
every female on board, feeling herself securely posted
within the Rubicon of delicacy, witnessed without the
slightest apprehension of offence, these amusing-
colloquies.
A child three years old, a bold little boy, now
stepped in among the rest to the foreground, and
there alone commenced, without preface or fear, an
earnest conversation with Tommy. By common
consent all others drew back, and left a clear stage
to the juvenile performer ; and in the course of this
dialogue, well maintained on both sides, the scene
created a powerful imjiression ; for the understanding
of the child and its feelings to boot, were played
upon in such a ludicrous degree, that it evidently
entertained no manner of doubt that Tommy was a
rational, living creature. To the new wooden ac-
quaintance, in the artlessness of infancy, it dedicated
I.] DOUGLAS HEAD. 5
the pure first fruits of early friendship, and with
sympathies increasing more and more every moment^
proposed innumerable questions relating to his his-^
tory. The growing illusion at last became perfect,
and after entreaties repeated in the course of the
dialogue, the child finally possessed itself of the
friend of his heart, and carrying away the diminutive
idol, returned in a couple of minutes drowned in
tears and sobs, because Tommy declined to answer
any more questions.
At three o'clock, the passengers partook of an ex-
cellent dinner below ; after which, returning upon
deck, we perfonned the remainder of the voyage in
calm, delightful weather ; the shores of England
fading meanwhile fast away, and the Isle of Man in
the distance rising from the sea in a straight line
from end to end, although the land in the middle is
so low as to create the appearance of two separate
islands distinct from each other. As we neared the
port, the sun, on a clear autumnal evening, sank
behind the island, and as we approached the pier,
we fell within the shadow of the bluff rock, called
Douglas Head, whose black craggy summit, gilded by
his rays, was beautifully contrasted with the pecu-
liarly light green of the verdure on the hills, and the
more than ordinary transparency of the water below\
In no other part of the world, I really believe, is the
sea more pellucid than on the coast of the Isle of
Man, where the rivers, proportionate always in extent
to the parent land, are mere brooks, and these even
less charged than is usual with alluvial soil. I am
quite sure it were easy at this spot, at a depth of
forty feet, to count the sixty -four squares of a mode-
rate sized chess-board.
6 THE PIER. [CH,
A dense cluster of the inhabitants crowded on the
pier head, as is the daily custom among the town's
people, to greet the arrival of the "Mona's Isle"; and
we wore inal\ing, as I expected, a prosperous land-
ing, when the steam was suddenly let off, and the
anchor dropped within an hundred and fifty yards of
the point of disembarkation ; creating thus the
necessity of stej^ping down from the vessel bag and
baggage into a boat, and landing once more from
thence on the broad stone steps of the pier.
It is well that measures are already in progress to
remedy the evil, but, taking the pier at Douglas in
its ])resent state, there is no other I believe within
the British dominions, where a large sum of money
has been expended to so little purpose. Accessible,
unless at the top of a tide, to no vessels larger than
small fishing craft, the chief purpose to which the
Douglas Pier has been hitherto applied, is that of a
promenade, while the lighthouse erected at the ex-
tremity, is intercepted towards several points of the
compass on the south-east by Douglas Head; on the
summit of which rock, another lighthouse, elevated
a considerable height above the other, and visible, as
a lighthouse ought to be, from all parts of the hori-
zon, in order to remedy the former defect, has since
been built. As the pier stretches into the sea to the
eastward, the south side is washed by the Douglas
river, a naiTow stream, mid-leg deep at its mouth at
low tide ; and parallel on the north side is a reef
of rocks, which, as they enclose a considerably greater
depth of water, it seems strange were not accordingly
chosen as the site and foundation.
Nevertheless, with regard to the said pier and
lighthouse, whatever in future time may be the
1.] PORTERS — HOTEL AGENTS. 7
improvement, when the coasf of the Isle of Man be-
comes resorted to for the purposes of sea bathing, at
all events, even at present a gallant steamer carries
the mail from England and returns every day. Not
many more than fifty years ago, a lanthom elevated
on a long pole on the beach, was the only winter
beacon for the poor fishermen, and a severe tempest,
one dreary night, that struck with terror their little
squadron, extinguished the light, and drove many
boats in confusion upon the rocks, whereby the shore
was strewed with those who miserably perished, and
many wives next morning were there seen bewailing
their husband's corpses, caused a degi*ee of universal
sympathy, that, with the aid of Parliament, set on
foot the yjlan of the structure, and effected its com-
pletion.
A traveller ascending tlic steps of Douglas Pier,
might reasonably fancy he was about to enter the
extensive precincts of a metropolis of note, such are
the number of eager faces that direct their looks
towards him, and such the immber of obtrusive agents
from the inns, of which there are six or eight at
least in the town, who after the manner of " touters"
belonging to stage-coaches, stand like a swarm of
horse-flies in his way, each holding the respective
card of the establishment obstinately under his nose.
I know of no municipal regulations of more charitable
purpose than such as, on occasions like these, serve
to protect the sea-sick and the stranger; and such
have performed wonders of late years at the port of
Douglas. The above cited remnant of barbarous
custom, bears slight comparison with the truly out-
rageous conduct permitted among the porters, at a
8 CASTLEMONA. [CH.
period only four or five years ago. These fellows,
now subjected to proper control, and a decent, orderly
class of men, then provincially called hobblers, were
of manners mitigated by no sort of discipline what-
ever. It was then impracticable without an effort of
strength, and coming to personal issue with the of-
fender, to prevent luggage and parcels being forcibly
carried away, one knew not by whom or whither; and
I have formerly seen, in the case of a person unable
to take his own jjart, an extended line of neutral
faces quietly looking on over the rails at the passing
scene ; namely, the owner hustled above, and half
a dozen boisterous hobblers fighting for his luggage
below.
Notwithstanding the laudable anxiety of the agents
of the several inns in the cause of the landlords, so
as with equal diligence, whether the hostelry be
good or bad, at all events to conduct the traveller to
it; the proprietors of the Castlemona Hotel have
the additional advantage of a carnage which waits
upon the arrival of the steamer to enforce persuasion.
This hotel was originally built for the residence of
the late Duke of Athol, though some time since
converted to the purposes of an inn. Its situation,
a mile from the town, fronts the sea, in the centre of
a fine bay, that affords an agi'eeable ride or drive
across sands all the way from the town. A table
d'hote is here provided regularly during the summer,
and well attended, chiefly by residents of Whitehaven,
Liverpool, and Manchester.
It is curious to observe, on the arrival of the steamer,
with what disjoatch a full complement of passengers
are acquired, and so soon as selected, how triumph-
antly they are driven away. As the luggage is dis-
I.] BRITISH HOTEL. 9
patched by another conveyance, a few minutes are
amply sufficient for the above operation ; and as the
carriage is an open one, the candidates have in fact
nothing else to do but to make up their minds to go,
previous to departure. The vehicle is a sort of high
narrow waggon, shaped like a hearse, and so confined
in dimensions, that the convenience of those who
travel therein is evidently purchased at the expense
of ease and grace of attitude; the passengers in fact,
although probably utter strangers to each other, sit-
ting vis-d-vis, like onions in a string, and in a row so
closely packed, that they seem pinioned, or hand-
cuffed. In the meantime so little space is afforded
between the two rows, that one man without leaning
foi'ward may readily light a cigar from the mouth of
his opposite neighbour. Altogether, as I saw a
dozen people crammed together in a heap, and thus
whisked away from the pier-head on a party of
pleasure, I could not help comparing them, owing
to their ludicrous appearance, for the moment, to a
set of convicts, on their way from a county gaol to
the hulks, or Newgate.
For my own part, during my short stay at Douglas,
I found excellent entertainment at the British Hotel
within the town, kept by the worthy Mrs. Dixon.
At this house I was furnished with good apartments,
and, with regard to fare, such was the liberality
and good will of my hostess, as well as the re-
dundancy of provisions at her command, in con-
sequence of a four o'clock ordinary included in the
menage, that my table was crowded with viands
actually in despite of my own remonstrances, in a
degree of profusion quite incompatible with the
reasonable charges in the bill. Well housed and
b3
10 TOWN OF DOUGLAS. [CH. 1.
provided, with good saddle-horses to be hired, and
macadamized roads to ride upon all over the island,
a person not over fastidious, and desirous of a
central point from whence to make rural excursions,
will not in this hotel have just cause to complain
either of comfortable sojourn, or the means of pere-
grination.
There is little inducement, I think, as a permanent
residence to remain in the town, for the site is low ;
nevertheless, although the adjacent country abounds
in beautiful, picturesque spots of rural habitation, by
far the greater proportion of persons, who, attracted
to the island by the prospect [of cheap wines and
provisions, have taken up their abode therein, reside
at Douglas.
One very long, narrow street, forms the principal
part of the old town, and contains curious specimens
of the primitive, imadomed dwellings of English
fishermen. The houses, mostly unequal, some large,
some small, are built of rough blocks of stone ;
the street is passable with difficulty from its con-
vexity, and the inconvenient manner wherewith it is
pitched with irregular and acute boulders. On
the elevated land, immediately contiguous and above
the buildings, many new houses and villas have been
recently erected, besides a handsome and spacious
church below, whereof, by the way, the clerk has the
sweetest tenor voice I ever heard. He was assisted
by a group of young men and women inider his
direction, and the performance, which, without any
musical accompaniment whatever, consisted of psalms
adapted to ancient rural church tunes, assorted with
taste and simplicity, displayed to my mind an exqui-
site specimen of pure English psalmody.
CHAPTER II.
ISLE OF MAN.
Douglas during the Cholera — Church of Kirkbraddan — A Fu-
neral—Another Funeral— A Visit to the South— Derby
Haven— Castleton—Poolvash— Marble Quarries — A Misun-
derstanding — A vicious Pony — Salt Water Spring — Port le
Murray — Sullen demeanour of Females — Spanish Head —
Sea Birds — Further Misunderstanding — An Eclaircissement.
I VISITED the Isle of Man in the summer of
that year, when the cholera made its first appear-
ance in England ; which disease had hitherto con-
stantly hovered on my route, spreading its ra-
vages in every town through which I happened to
pass ; but Douglas, on my arrival, was reported by
all its inhabitants, free. There was, no doubt, an
anxious and interested desire on the part of the
townspeople to suppress, even the most remote hint
of apprehension on the subject ; for not only were
paragraphs bandied about on sanatory regulations in
the Manx newspapers, but the doctors fell to logger-
heads in print with each other on the same theme.
After all, I placed little faith and credence on these
learned discussions, neither troubling myself on the
theories of infection nor contagion, nor imagining that
I received, whatever people might say, on the score of
security, any additional assurance. Epidemic diseases,
in my humble opinion, as the wind, that travels ou
sightless ]nnions, move whither they list, and like
other metaphysical essences, are not to be made sub-
12 DOUGLAS DURING THE CHOLERA. [CH,
ject to physical laws. The terms mfection and con-
tagion, so long as matter be infinitely divisible,
evidently mean nothing at all ; for who can predicate
of the mote that floats in the sunbeam, were it
reduced to a millionth degree below mortal ken,
that even so diminutive a portion of matter might not
communicate by actual contact, by its very tangibility,
a contagious disease; or that all those diseases
known by the name of infectious, be not actually
communicated by physical contagion or contact in
the same manner. Of those epidemics, that during
their visitations fiom time to time, sweep the land
of the young together with the old, it were better at
once to confess that we know no more after all of
the abstruse principles of nature, that guide their
origin, determine their properties, and provide for
their creation or generation, than as to all such
matters, we are able to determine with regard to our
own existence.
It is certainly to be lamented, that the predominance
of men's worldly interests, always defeats the pursuit
of truth in matters of investigation, and in the present
instance, when reports of the cholera at last began
to arise, it was judged expedient rather to smother
them at their birth, than repel, from an impression of
fear, the usual concourse of summer visitants, and
thence lose a source of annual profit to the in-
habitants of the island.
Not a single case of the disease had yet been pub-
licly promulgated, when I strolled one morning from
Douglas towards the small ancient village of Kirk-
braddan ; the church and church-yard of which are
situated on a secluded spot, two miles distant, ad-
joining the high road leading from Douglas to Peel
II.] CHURCH OF KIRKBRADDAN — A FUNERAL. 13
Town. I thought I had never seen altogether a
sweeter portrait of a village jilace of worship, or an
humble edifice more truly adapted to a rural con-
gregation, when I was unexpectedly inteiTupted by
the sound of voices, joined in melody, and proceed-
ing from a funeral party, who, as they walked along,
were chaunting a hymn. These persons were ad-
vancing from the road along an avenue of stately
trees leading to the church, which avenue, as trees
in this part of the island are rare, is the more remark-
able ; and only so soon as they had entered the
avenue, they began to sing. As they approached the
grave, which I now saw had been already prepared,
I had a better opportunity of observing the proces-
sion. The persons who chaunted, plain-dressed vil-
lagers, walked in front ; then came tw^o men, bearing
the corpse of an infant in a cofRn, suspended within
a couple of feet of the ground on a sling, the ends of
which were twisted round each of their hands.
After the corpse, walked the parents, and then several
of the sympathizing neighbours ; these, and in fact
almost all the attendants being provided each with a
sinall cluster of flowers, as it were a melancholy em-
blem of death and infancy, of sweetness and decay.
With such simple preparations, and although the
coffin, on the lid of which a few of the flowers were
strewed, was wholly uncovered, no memorial of real
respect, or tribute of warm affection, was absent from
the ceremonial : and if other striking images were
wanting, by pathetic contrast with each other, to em-
bellish the scene, that of the father of the baby,
a sunburnt athletic peasant, in his own person,
and relating to his child, afforded an example. On
the one hand, a hardy British labourer, erect in
14 A FUNERAL. [CH.
the full vigour of manhood ; on the other, an infant
deposited in its grave ; a countenance rigid and
inflexible, and a heart panting in the throes of
sympathy. As with unmoved expression, after the
service was over, the mourning parent placidly leaned
forward, to take of the early summoned a last adieu,
not a muscle of his face moved, nor a lip stirred or
quivered ; but the tears that arose in his eyes, burst-
ing through a channel petrified by grief, became
every succeeding instant more and more swollen, till
the stern law of gravity bid each tributary globule,
first for a moment tremble in its sphere, and then
drop upon the ground.
The child was no sooner buried, than another
funeral party appeared, smaller in number, and un-
attended, as in the preceding instance, by singers,
moving slowly and silently the whole length of the
avenue, the bearers, carrying on their shoulders
in the usual manner, the coffin of a full grown
person, and about a dozen respectable, well-
dressed people, walking two and two, closing
the procession. At present, besides myself, there
were hardly any other persons, as is usually the
case on such occasions, present as spectators; there-
fore not wishing to appear singular, as the party
moved towards the grave in another comer of the
church-yard, I fell in the rear, and walked thither
with the rest. The service was decently performed,
and without hurry or the slightest deviation from
established usage, but as I stepped towards the grave
and looked upon the coffin, I perceived it was a
plain shell, bearing only the sirname and age of the
deceased upon the lid, without farther distinction
or reference whatever; that is to say, Mrs.- ,
11.] ANOTHER FUNERAL. 15
aged . Thinking the circumstance strange, I
was directing my enquiries to the subject, when 1
was accosted by a good looking man, dressed in a full
suit of black, who politely undertook to satisfy my
curiosity. My informant was not only chief mounier,
but landlord of the deceased, who, he said, had
arrived in Douglas from England only a week be-
fore, and had taken lodgings in his house as a
stranger, upon the plea of expecting, as she said, ere
many days passed, to be joined by her husband. He
knew no more of her history, otherwise than she was
taken ill and died ; and in answer to additional
questions, it further appeared, of a disease so sud-
den, that hardly thirty-six hours had elapsed to the
present moment, since she was first smitten. Farther
than this he was silent, neither could 1 persuade him
to answer more interrogatories, wherefore, I came at
once to a conclusion, that has been since verified by
a visit in a subsequent year to the same spot, where
the traveller may now see a number of diminutive
grave-stones, planted in a dense cluster, so as by
themselves entirely to occupy this angle of the
church-yard. Every grave-stone bears its inscription,
each inscription consists only of one word, and that
one word is no other than " Cholera." Notwith-
standing that my informant, when questioned as to
the complaint of the deceased, most cautiously de-
clined to relate a fact, that it became his interest as
an inhabitant of Douglas, from general motives, to
repress, he was not the less ready to tender his aid
to a stranger, and in the total absence of friends and
relatives, accompany, as chief mourner, the forlorn
deceased to the tomb.
Even subsequent to this event, it was yet a few
16 DEEBY HAVEN. [CH.
days before the disease was publicly acknowledged
in Douglas ; afterwards the intelligence spread
rapidly through every corner of the island ; the
effects of which communication I had an oppor-
tunity of witnessing in an excursion in the interior.
An unusually forcible sensation was indeed created
among the simple-minded inhabitants ; whereof I
will now give a farther account, as I describe a visit
made at that time to the extreme south of the
island.
I left Douglas by a two-horse stage-coach, which
travels three times a week from thence to Castleton,
by a road which, although leading direct eleven
miles from seaport to seaport, runs so much in land,
that at rare intervals a view is obtained of the sea.
The original road, the former having been made only
a few years, is still more coastward, and here also the
line of cliffs is so irregular, as to create in the minds
of those, who love to ramble along the sea shore, a
similar disappointment. In fact, a person desirous
of an expedition under such advantages, and really
anxious to see the coast of the Isle of Man, ought
neither to travel on wheels nor on horseback, but go
on foot, for by no other possible means, can he fol-
low the bendings of the coast. The face of the
country along this track, skirting the chain of hills
which diagonally intersects the island, is sufficiently
elevated to bear a mountainous character, but as its
features are similar, in the line between Douglas and
Peel town, of which part I shall take a little more
notice by and by, I shall say no more as regards the
svuTounding scenery at present. Within a mile of
Castleton, we passed through the small village of
Derby Haven, having now reached the sea shore at
II.] CASTLETON. 17
Castleton Bay. Here, several new buildings have
lately been erected, among the rest, the finest modern
structure to be seen upon the island, a public col-
lege for the education of the sons of the clergy j and
as tlie harbour of Derby Haven has superior natural
advantages to that of Castleton, it is probable, as
speculation rapidly continues to increase, that, in
a few years at farthest, both places will be joined
in one.
Notwithstanding the wide extent and bold sweep
of the bay, the harbour of Castleton is shallow and
rocky, accessible only to small craft, which in the
mouth of the river, at the entrance of the town, may
be seen at low water within a sort of rude dock,
lazily reclining on their beam ends on the mud. It
is not difficult to describe the features of the said
river. Immediately above the dock, a stone bridge
on two small arches spans its breadth. Above the
bridge, the stream in summer is so shallow and
scanty, that although a wide spread of boulders and
shingle bear testimony to precarious freshes from the
mountains, yet generally for the time being, a score
of thirsty cattle could drink it dry ; at all events, I
have seen women dip tea cups therein, and several
together thus, as by a regular process, filling their
pails. Half a mile only above the town, the channel
hardly exceeds a dozen feet in width, and then it
dwindles to a rivulet.
Notwithstanding the residence of the Governor of
the Isle of Man is in Castleton, and the head quarters
of the troops, consisting of a company detached
from the particular regiment doing duty for the time
being in the city of Carlisle, are there stationed ; the
town, compared with the more busy appearance of
18 POOLVASH. [CH.
Douglas, seems deserted and dreary ; nevertheless
the streets are considerably wider and cleaner, and
the inhabitants, for the most part, instead of casual
visitors, are permanent residents, including many
persons who have mamed and finally settled on the
island. The superb ancient pile of building called
Castle Rushen, is well worthy of a visit, and at the
present time in such good repair, that some of the
apartments are appropriated to the purposes of a gaol,
in others are held the regular courts of law, and a
few are occupied by the municipal authorities, for
the deposit of records and other public documents.
Besides the aforesaid gaol, there is no other on the
island.
My object not being for the present to remain at
Castleton, I immediately hired a horse, and pursued
ray journey by a road which, proceeding for about
the distance of a mile westward, is intercepted by
another at right angles. By the latter road I then bent
my course southward straight to the sea shore, till I
arrived at the village, or rather at a row^ of small fish-
ermen's cottages, called the village of Poolvash,
This village was for the present my point of direction,
for I was desirous of seeing certain quames of native
black marble, situated on the sea shore close ad-
jacent. Arrived at the spot, having looked around
without perceiving the quames, I rode to the afore-
said cottages to make enquiry of a woman, whom,
with a child in her arms, T saw standing at her door.
The woman, stretching out her arm in the direction
of a black reef of rocks, which the tide, at present
on the ebb, had left bare, said that there were the
quarries, at the same time she eyed me \^^th a sus-
picious scrutinizing glance, that I thought singular.
II.] MARBLE QUARRIES. 19
As I had obtained the hiforraation I required, and
as the woman's dialect, in a sort of Welsh accent, was
not very distinct, I forebore for the present to enter
into further conversation, and immediately rode
away. Then proceeding a few hundred yards along
the beach, I dismounted, fastened my animal's bridle
to a large stone, and walked seaward to the quames.
These consist of numerous small excavations, situated
below high water-mark, filled with water at flood
tide, and baled out previous to working every day,
until the pit, becoming so large as to render the
0]3eration too laborious, is necessarily abandoned
by the workmen, who then sink another. Reefs
of remarkably black rock are abundant at this
part of the coast ; they extend considerably high
upon the beach, although the pure marble, as already
stated, all lies low ; indeed a stranger might readily
pass the spot, and unless the quarries were brought
to his notice, fail to perceive them. They have been
worked nevertheless many years, and actually fur-
nished a part of the material for the building of St.
Paul's Cathedral. Nothing more was now to be ob-
served on the spot than a temporary mason's hut,
surroimded by a few slabs for chimney-pieces and
grave-stones, in progress of manufacture ; the marble
of which, of a rich black and shining quality, was
already fashioned and polished. A few ordinary
mason's tools lay scattered about the hut, but within
and without there were no other preparations for
labour, not even a common crane.
Intending to pursue the line of the sea shore on
my return from the quarries, I had no sooner again
approached the aforesaid fishermen's cottages, than
as I was passing by, I was in a manner waylaid by
20 A MISUNDERSTANDING. [CH.
half-a-dozen or more women, who having walked in
the intermediate time out of their houses, had now
assembled together, and were holding earnest col-
loquy with her with the baby. All appeared to be
consulting together, but the first mentioned, acting as
spokeswoman, broke silence, by asking me without
ceremony and abruptly, whether or not I were a
doctor ? I immediately answered that I had not
the honor to belong to such a learned profession,
and was then proceeding to ride away, when having
reiterated the question in an angry tone, she added,
" you'll not tell me that you're no doctor, when I
know very well that you are — I know you well
enough and the horse you ride — I know where you
came from — but go your ways ! go your ways !"
Being in total ignorance as to what extraordinary
crotchet the woman had taken in her head, and feel-
ing an inclination to come to a right understanding,
I asked whether by accident any sick person hap-
pened to be in the house, intending thus merely to
commence a rational conference ; but the question,
simple as it was, served not the purpose of recon-
ciliation. " A doctor you are," exclaimed three or
four together, "your horse belongs to a doctor; we
know the horse as well as the doctor, who lives in
Castleton." I now actually departed, thinking that,
since through the identity of my horse 1 had got into
the scrape, such as it was, it were well at all events
for his former master to be rid of such a stumbling
brute. The animal, in fact, really was I believe the
very worst of steeds then on hire in the town of
Castleton, and through ill luck, there being no other
in the stable, 1 now haj)pened to sit upon his back.
He was a very old, narrow-backed pony, combining
II.] A VICIOUS roNY. 21
in a rare degree in his person, the infirmities of age,
with the folly and frowardness of yonth. His hoofs,
lifted from the ground by an unbending knee, per-
petually came in contact with the loose stones in his
way ; which he would kick before him to the right
and left, almost with sufficient velocity to kill a
sparrow. Frequent and serious trips were con-
sequent on these collisions, some indeed so bad,
that by main strength alone I was enabled to keep
him on his legs, and after each blunder, the less easily
recoverable by reason of spavined hocks, he no
sooner resumed his equilibrium, than, as if in the
joy of deliverance, he flung his nose in the air, and
blindly bolted in all sorts of inconvenient directions.
At the best of times he was hard-mouthed and restive,
and particularly whenever I stopped to admire a beau-
tiful object, just as certainly he bobbed clean round like
a whirligig, and set his tail to it. Such being the
Pegasus I now unfortunately bestrode, whatever might
have been the history of his former master, the doc-
tor, I endeavoured to think of both as little as possi-
ble as I proceeded on my way, but as I rode onwards
along the sea shore, which here spreads for two miles
southward, in the form of an extensive bay, I could
not help reflecting on the unaccountable conduct of
the aforesaid women. Wherefoi'e such indisput-
able tokens of ill will were now shewn towards me
by a peasantry, whom till that moment, from pre-
vious experience and report I had imagined to be
the most quiet, peaceable people on earth, I was
at a loss to conceive ; and the more I reflected,
the more I thought that past appearances might
very possibly be fallacious, and exhibit no proof
of real hostility whatever. Nay, it seemed I
22 SALT WATER SPRING, [CH.
thought feasible, that really believing me to be a
doctor, the women were justly angry, because I
denied my profession, and that too at a time, while a
sufferer, for aught I knew, was actually in want of
assistance. Some groaning dame perhaps was at that
very moment invoking the aid of Lucina, whereby if
so inclined, I, at all events, might have made a coup
d'essai in the obstetric art, and gained by self-taught
skill, a gratuitous diploma.
Two miles southward of Poolvash, is the little
fishing town of Port-le-Murray, and about half way,
close to the sea shore, is a stream which, rising a
little below high water mark from a fissure of the
earth, is called by the natives a salt water spring,
and celebrated as a curiosity accordingly. Con-
sidering the nature of the gi-ound from which it
flows, 1 saw little to interest the mind in the phe-
nomenon ; for the island here assumes the form of a
nan-ow tongue of land ; and this stream very probably
is supplied b3'a subterraneous channel from the oppo-
site shore. While uncovered by the sea, it flows strong
enough to turn a small mill. After all, it were per-
haps a misnomer to call it a spring, if it be not that
any stream continually flowing, whether salt or fresh,
is entitled to the appellation ; and at all events, fol-
lows the same law which regulates the equable sup-
ply of fresh ones, whereby under-ground reservoirs
receive by constant drainage large volumes of water,
sustained and rej^lenished in a degree far exceeding-
its exit by narrower apertures.
" Rusticus expectat dum defluat amnis, at ille
Labitur et labctur in omne volubilis ajvum."
A lively basin, a miniature fleet of boats, a sturdy
II.] rORT LE MURRAY. 23
well built quay, and a tidy cluster of houses, for the
most part new, compose the neat busy little fishing
town of Port-le-Mun'ay, where on my arrival every
man seemed bustling and active, and whether baling
water out of his boat, laying rope in neat coils upon
the shore, moving from place to place under a heavy
load of net upon his shoulder, or engaged in any
other portion of diligent labour, at all events, ever}-
single individual was booted like a rhinoceros.
Hence, 1 turned my pony's head inland, and then
proceeding in a slanting direction, made the best of
my way towards Spanish Head, one of the most
rugged and lofty of those Avild cliffs that bound the
southern extremity of the island, the inland portion
of this narrow promontory, here about a couple of
miles wide, consisting of hills, rocks, valleys,
ravines, and gulleys. I now made little progi'ess,
owing to the badness of the road, and moreover, the
farther I went, the worse the track became, so that
I was soon obliged to dismount and lead my animal
by the bridle ; sometimes passing over shelving
slabs of rock, and frequently obliged to remove
with difficulty huge loose stones, that casually inter-
cepted the way. Meanwhile, the land on each side
is divided in exceedingl}' small portions, fenced by
stone walls, and the gigantic features on the coast
bear inverse proportion to the limited extent of
territory.
Within a mile of Spanish Head, stands a small
hamlet, in a spot so retired, and composed of edifices
so rude, that it is really hard to predicate of the
houses at a little distance, whether they are masses of
rock or human dwellings ; however, as I approached,
I perceived, in evidence of the latter conclusion, five
24 SPANISH HEAD. [CH.
or six women standing together on the spot. Not
one man was present among the group, who by
their behaviour might have given me fair reason to
suppose that such a being was a rare visitant within
their demesnes. I would very willingly have left my
pony in this village, whereby I could have pi*oceeded
a great deal more at my ease alone, but the sullen-
ness of the women, who by the way, in dress and
appearance, reminded me of the peasantry of Tralee,
in Ireland, made me disinclined to enter into any
parley or negotiation. During my short trip from
Castleton, I had little encouragement to enter into
human conversation, and the fishermen's wives at
Poolvash had read me a lesson by no means yet for-
gotten. Wherefore, regarding these Manx females,
as wild, unsociable creatures, saying not a single word
to any of them, and holding the pony's bridle on my
arm, I doggedly walked on. However, a quarter of
a mile farther, obstructions became so frequent, that
to part with the steed became absolutely indispens-
able, wherefore, I made his bridle fast as well as I
could to a stone wall, and there left him.
I had now arrived at Spanish Head, than which
bluff angle of the coast there is no part perhaps with-
in the extent of the three kingdoms more grand in
feature and truly magnificent ; the elevated plain,
the precipices, on either side, and the roaring sea
below, would rather seem in accordance with the
limits of some vast continent, than merely a salient
edge of the island of Mona, a diminutive speck hardly
observable on the face of an ordinary map. Already
a countless host of sea birds had notice of my ap-
proach, and accordingly the whole web-footed colony
was in a state of alarm. The gulls wheeled round
II.] SPANISH HEAD. 25
and round impatiently high in the air, and packs of
the red-billed chough, with the continued harsh
scream of the former mingled their wild cry, holding
themselves as it were in a detached phalanx, and,
like a party of marines, ready to do duty by the side
of sailors. Theirs is a screaming, salt-water note ;
and as they feed occasionally upon fish, and as to
their habits and inland retreats evince a similar taste
with the gulls, it would seem as if nature designed
these birds, though not absolutely aquatic themselves,
to associate with aquatic companions.
Spanish Head, separated only from the small dis-
severed fragment called the Calf of Man, by a narrow
and rapid channel, here stretches its precipitous crags
into the sea. After walking a couple of hundi-ed
yards farther, I stood on its brink.
From the number of sea birds already on the
wing, one might reasonably have concluded that all
were already abroad, and had left their homes ; but
as I approached the verge of the cliff, my advent was
the signal of a general panic, testified first by the
appearance of several shooting upwards from under-
neath, in parties of three or four at a time, till all at
once an entire legion were dislodged, and darted
aloft, projected into the air by terror, like a shower
of stones from a volcano. In a moment the whole
space of air on all sides, around and about, was one
continued swarm of life and feathers. Meanwhile
the old gulls, turning rapidly on the wing, and urged
by parental solicitude, testified by their looks and
actions the intense bond of union with their young,
and their fearless determination to repel, even at the
risk of their own lives, or at least awe their invader.
Sometimes they would hover and flap their wings
VOL. II. c
26 SPANISH HEAD. [CH.
only a few yards above my head ; and again,
twisting downwards their bills, and shaking their
feathers as it were in very spite, would swoop sud-
denly below, as if for the purpose of knocking off my
hat. On the projections of the rock, perched among
holes and crannies, sat the unfledged nestlings, the
sole object of the old one's care — the centre and
mainspring of clamour and gyration ; and there re-
mained prudently waiting, as if wholly unconscious
of danger, that critical moment of gull education,
when the callow potbellied squab, after total trans-
formalion of being, may first securely dare to beat the
air with his wings, and proudly soar aloft like the
rest of liis forefathers ; — an awful adventure, as in
human life, and liable to sad reverse if tried too soon ;
but the old gull well knows the exact moment to bid
his son begone, and with a tickle under the tail, or
a poke from the parent bill, for his patrimony, the
proper instant, the period best befitting to introduce
him to the troublesome world. If the young booby,
like Icarus or Phaeton of old, undervaluing the ex-
perience of age, ventures to depart unbidden, just as
certainly he cuts the thread of his own destiny,
and prematurely finishes his vain-glorious career.
Down he drops with a hard fall and a squelsh, era-
bowelled, on the hard ground, doomed miserably to
perish amid the buzzing of blue bottle flies, and
deprived of the solace of funeral obsequies other
than a garland of his own guts twisted about his ears.
Here I would readily have remained unsated by
the sounds of undisturbed nature, or content-
edly gazing upon massive abutments of earth and
stone, fragments as it were of a crumbling world,
were it not that the day was now fast waning, and
II.] SPANISH HEAD. 27
my homeward progress, moreover, mainly depended
upon the vile dumb pony now long since tied to the
wall. But it were vain to disregard realities to the
preference of unsubstantial reflections ; therefore, un-
willingly bidding adieu to the ocean landscape, I
retraced my steps by the way I had come, till I per-
ceived the said pony standing still in indolent attitude,
and precisely in the same spot where I had bidden him
farewell. Nevertheless he had displaced several loose
stones from the wall with his nose, and had otherwise
done all the mischief he was conveniently able to per-
form ; w^herefore probably self-gratulation, and his
own reflections, made him tranquil. A man and
woman stood not far off", as correctly as I could
judge, not very well pleased with his transactions,
therefore as I considei-ed that the wall belonged
to these jieople, I was the more careful as 1 repaired
the dilapidations, not merely to set each stone on
its angular edge, so that a pair of cock sparrows
in a pitched battle might destroy its equilibrium, but
to do the job well, and place each block carefully on
a solid point of resistance. And having thus per-
formed the service, as in duty bound, I thought I
had thenceforward a right to walk peaceably away.
The woman and her fiiend were, as it appeared, of a
different opinion ; for the former, without preface or
apology, now stepped up with violent air and attitude,
and began at once angrily to abuse me, in language suf-
ficiently distinct and intelligible, though delivered in
broken English, and in a tone not unlike that used by
the Welsh peasantry. At all events I had the satisfac-
tion of an explanation on matters that hitherto
baffled my comprehension ; and while she continued
her harangue, the man, who spoke nothing but Manx,
c 2
28 AN ECLAIRCISSEMENT. [CH.
remained all the time passively leaning his chin on
the palms of both hands, supported by his elbows,
upon the stone wall. In explicit terms, " She knew
me very well," she said, " by my horse, to be one of
those devils of Scotch doctors who went about the
country spying into people's houses, poisoning all the
wells, and, under the pretence of curing the cholera,
pouring burning vitriol down poor people's throats, at
the rate of five pounds a-head to be paid for the
corpses. It was time," she farther added, working her-
self, of her own accord, to an extraordinary pitch of
fury, " that an end should be put to all of us ; and I
might be sure," she said, "to meet my deserts as I
passed through the village, for there the people were
all ready and waiting to see me."
Finding that the simple nature of a superstitious
class of people was excited by the precautionary
measures adojited by the faculty, with regard to the
prevention of the cholera, interfering as they ima-
gined with the rites of sepulture, and that, whether
justly or otherwise, this female was for the present so
inflamed by rage, that, instead of a woman, had she
been a steam engine she must inevitably, were it not
for the aid of the safety valve, have burst the boiler,
I thought it prudent to be silent while the hurricane
continued to blow. After allowing her the free use
of her tongue till she had expended all she had to
say, I then replied as mildly as possible, " that she was
from beginning to end quite mistaken, — that I was
really no doctor, neither was I a wizard, — tliat I was
a plain thinking individual, at all times inclined
rather to be unmannerly than troublesome ; but that
since I had neither disturbed her's nor any other
body's fire-side, so neither should any body deprive
II.] AN ECLAIRCISSEMENT. 29
me of my right to wander where I pleased in the
fresh air and sunshine :" and having said these, or
words to the same effect, without producing much
visible impression, I mounted my nan'ow-backed
pony and rode away. Had I been alone, and
unencumbered with the villainous steed, I would
rather have made a circuit at any risk, so that I
could have gone home any other way than through
the village. As it was, the measure was inevitable.
There was no resource. Meanwhile I regarded the
animal in the light of my bane, and the evil genius
that had shed a sinister influence on all my proceed-
ings ever since I had been in his company. Owing
to his identity, I had fallen into disrepute with the
ladies of Poolvash, and now in the character of
" le medicin malgre 1111" I was about, from the same
cause, to undergo perhaps still farther discomfiture.
Most willingly I would have walked home on foot,
and have left the brute behind ; for, so far from ren-
dering me assistance in case the enemy should attack
in force, his presence would inevitably prove a main
incumbrance. Nevertheless, hemmed in by the sea,
and confined to the beaten track, with only a small
switch in my hand, I rode towards the village.
Sure enough, as I approached the houses, a party
had actually assembled to meet me, ten or a dozen or
more ; but, to my satisfaction, I observed that every
one of these were women. Not a single male per-
sonage, except myself, was at this moment to be seen
in the village ; wherefore, although I was certainly
only one against a host, and, as poets sing, the seat
of mercy dwells afar from woman's heart, I forbore
at all events to apprehend the meed of violence at
women's hands : at least, whatever on the present
30 AN ECLAIRCISSEMENT. [CH.
occasion might have been my want of confidence, I
took good care to betray to the parties no such
sort of feeling. On the contrary, whipping along the
garron pony to a speed equal to full live miles an
hour, and riding straight forward to the best looking
of the group, I paid her an explicit but well-merited
compliment on the score of her beauty ; and while
she was relating the exact words of my address to
her busily enquiring sisterhood, I lost no time to
leave the subject in discussion, and ride away. It
were well always in affairs of gallantry, if people
would profit by a proper opportunity of taking them-
selves off, and make up their minds to rest content
with what they have gained: in accordance with this
sentiment and satisfied to live in the good graces of
these females for a solitary instant, away I rode, with-
out receiving farther molestation. Not looking behind
me, as I left them in the distance, I wished, as the
fast-flitting shadows of the day's incidents passed
across my mind, I might never, on any future occa-
sion, feel more cause for self-reproach ; and 1 recalled
to my mind the stanzas of the poet, who, without
other mortal weapon than the agis of harmless intent,
scared a grizzly wolf within his native woods, by
a strain to his Lalage.
On my return to Castleton I found I had cause for
congratulation, thus to have fallen in with the ladies,
instead of meeting with men. I there learnt that
the very day before, a party of visitors to the spot,
who arrived in a boat, were actually attacked by the
inhabitants with sticks and stones, and severely
maltreated.
AND
cP
\
CHAPTER III.
ISLE OF MAN.
A Ride to Peel Town — Agriculture — St. John's — Tynwald
Mount — The Ceremony of Tynwald — The Fair — Peel Town
— Fishermen — The Quay — Peel Castle — Old Tom — An
ingenious Expedient — The Cavern.
The perambulation of the Isle of Man is better per-
formed, walking excepted, on the back of a horse,
than in any other way. The mode usually adopted
by strangers, is, joining in a party of three or four, to
drive together in an open vehicle, by a route which is
said to he, par excellence, round the island, but wdiich
route, from causes already adverted to, is very far indeed
within its extreme periphery. At the present time,
speaking literally and accurately, as to a road round
the Isle of Man, there is no such thing. Two-horse
stage coaches, starting three or four times a week, per-
fonn regular journeys between all the principal towns,
and carriages as aforesaid are let out on hire ; but the
times are not yet ripe for the luxury of a Manx
postchaise.
Having selected, from among a dozen or more
tolerably good hacks, aiTanged together in a row in
the stalls of the principal livery stable, the animal
that pleased me best, I got upon his back at Douglas,
and made my way quietly and at my leisure along the
road to Peel Town, situated on the opposite coast,
eleven miles distant directly in a straight line across
the island. The road, which is all the way Mac-
adamised, rises immediately from the town, and
32 AGRICULTURE. [CH.
pursues its course over uneven hilly ground, al-
though the altitude of the acclivities might easily be
reduced were the pains and expense usually adopted
in England here employed to that end ; in fact,
the whole of this tract, after all, in reality lies low,
so as from a ship at sea, as before observed, to be
hardly perceptible. On both sides of the road,
is a range of low, round, grassy mountains, the
land about their bases being divided by stone walls
in fields, which are partially cultivated nearly to
the top. Small as are the mountains, as regards the
prospect, the country deserves the name of a moun-
tainous district, since it makes little difference in ordi-
nary cases, whether hills be high or low — whether the
spectator comprehends the whole outline of a smaller
range, or stands among the towering Apennines and
views only a part. The grass, the farmers say, on
these hills is sour, and so in fact it is, for want of
sufficient stock ; nevertheless the range is ample, and
the breed of sheep small and hardy, although hitherto
unassisted by winter keep, or encouraged to breed
on the pastures in sufficient abundance.
Within the base of these mountains, on both sides
of the road, is a considerable extent of cultivated
land, whereof the soil is probably the poorest in all
the island. The style of agriculture is consequently
slovenly, so much so, that in many places the farmers
merely scratch with the plough the middle of the
field, and leave for a headland a space all round
as wide as an ordinary turnpike road. Want
of capital generally prevails ; and the landholders,
almost one and all, are induced to become the more
careless, inasmuch as a great part of their time and
care is devoted to the hening fishery. The hay is.
III.] TYNAVALD MOUNT. 33
made as in the north of England, or in Ireland, and
allowed, after being cut, to remain on the ground
long enough to spoil by the evaporation of the juices ;
a miserable practice, whereby the poor cattle are the
main sufferers. One excellent and striking example
of good farming in the midst of this bad system, has
been laid before the Manx farmers by a Scotsman. I
observed one entire farm not far from Peel Town,
where, solely by attention and good management,
the aspect of the land is altogether changed, and the
whole extent of the domain marked by very superior
neatness and care. The fields are thrown open, the
fences improved, and the ordinary quantity of live
stock much increased ; it were only to be wished that
the land in this part were by its quality able, as for
the present it is not, I fear, to repay this individual's
exertions.
Nine miles fi'om Douglas, and two miles from Peel
Town, is the small village of St. John's, a point
whence two roads branch off, the one to the north
and the other to the south, being those before
alluded to, that form what is incorrectly called the
circuit of the island : at this spot the traveller neces-
sarily finds himself while on his way, as far removed
as two miles from the sea.
Here is to be seen the ancient Tynwald Mount,
whereon, from time immemorial, the laws of the
island have been at regular periods promulgated to
the people ; veithout which ceremony, the laws so
promulgated, even at the present enlightened age, are
not valid. The dimensions of the mount, and the
proceeding altogether, is a remnant of Saxon barba-
rism, which it seems strange should have been per-
mitted at all after the existence of steam navigation.
c 3
34 CEREMONY OF TYNWALD. [CH-
At present the representative of royalty performs an
exhibition in the open air, more in character with his
majesty of Norwood ; and a grave legislative body
discharge primeval functions, better fitted to those
related of the savages in the pages of Captain Cook.
Such is literally the case ; and though on these oc-
casions a country fair is held at the same time and
place, the days of Tynwald are regularly advertised
in the provincial newspapers. The governor of the
island proceeding thither in state, attended by the
hoi.ise of keys, his parliament, the deemsters or
judges, and the bishop, the cortege, after attending
divine service in a small adjacent chapel, an humble
edifice, from whose gable a tiny, tinkling bell, such
as is seen in remote places of worship among our
mountain districts, swings in the open air, take their
places on the mount.
The mount is a sort of circular tumulus or mound,
with concentric terraces rudely formed and overgrown
with grass, rising one above another all the way to
the top ; that is to say, there are perhaps three or
four, for the mount altogether is a mighty diminutive
affair, such as might sei've for a pedestal for the sta-
tue at Charing Cross, or answer the purpose of a
pulpit for an itinerant preacher. Howevei", the go-
vernor and the whole court, winter or summer, rain
or shine, dispose themselves in state thereon, llie
governor sits on the top in his chair, the rest stand
ranged below on the terraces around, and all are
equipped in the proper paraphernalia of robes, wigs,
and gowns. Keys, council and clergy there stand, if
the weather be bad, exposed to the rain, while an
ordinary canvass awning, and no more, is stretched
between the inclement sky and the person of the
III.] THE FAIR. 35
governor. The newly made laws are then read to
the assembled multitude, in English and Manx.
It must be confessed, that there can be few spots
in the world better calculated to aflford a prospect of
whatever may be transacted thereupon, to a multi-
tude, indefinite in numbers, than the Tynwald mount,
for it forms the centre of an amphitheatre of sur-
rounding mountains, that rise one above another in
the distance, at the extent of a radius varying from
one to two miles in length.
I intended, but was accidentally prevented, to
witness the proceedings on the mount, one Tynwald
day. When I arrived, the people wei-e busy at the
fair, though the authorities had all departed. The
assemblage, from their dress and manners, reminded
me of the ordinary class of visitors at a fair in the
north of Ireland ; and indeed, the male population
bear much affinity to the Irish in disposition; they
are alike kind, and hospitable, independent, and
frugal ; retaining one special advantage over their
Hibernian neighbours, that of being less addicted to
intemperance. Here was to be seen a crowd of
quiet, decently dressed, country people, some with
eggs and butter to sell, others leading cows here and
there, backwards and forwards, by straw ropes in
quest of a purchaser, or vending potatoes swung on
the back of a horse in straw panniers ; but all, if not
looking on and acting the part of " a sweetener" in
a neighbour's bargain, at least earnestly engaged in
driving one of their own, or minding their own
business. Matters nevertheless were being con-
ducted on a small scale, for all the live stock in the
fair might be comprised in a dozen rough yearling,
or two year old colts, and a score of small horned
36 PEEL TOWN. [CH.
cattle. " What of the laws that were read to-day ?"
said I to a peasant as he was grappling the nose of
a calf and urging it forward through the crowd, at
the same time twisting with the other hand the reel-
ing animal's tail. " What of the laws ? " said he
repeating my words impatiently, and turning away
his attention entirely to the calf. "Ay," said I, " I sup-
pose you heard all that was read at the mount?"
" Oh pack of stuff," said he, " 'twas about potatoes."
His tone of voice at the same time declared plainly
that he troubled himself little in the concerns of the
legislature ; and, moreover, many the Manx rural
swain at the present day, were he called upon to say
whether England's prime minister were Whig or
Tory, no doubt in like manner is unable to answer
the question.
The awning on the mount, under which the go-
vernor had recently sat, was merely a rough piece of
canvass supported on poles, certainly by no means so
well fashioned, as in England is afforded to the
spectators at a ci'icket match, or by the landlord
of a rural pothouse to the frequenters of his skittld-
alley.
On leaving St. John's, a prospect is within a short
distance obtained of the broad sea, and on arriving
at Peel Town, indications are at once manifest of a
neat, lively, compact, fishing establishment. Whe-
ther farmers or fishermen, it is pleasing to see men
existing in a state of full occupation, and here the
inhabitants are so active and stirring, that each seems
to think and act, just as if the town and all that is in
it belonged to himself. One may frequently see, at
the height of the fishing season, three hundred little
fishing vessels at one time in the harbour, and on the
III.] FISHERMEN. 37
present day, the quay was crowded with small craft of
different descriptions. Here, side by side, were the
single masted Manx boat, and the Cornish fisher-
man's sturdy two-masted lugger, which in piscatory
excursions include within their ocean range the
shores of Ardglass on the coast of Ireland ; and soar-
ing preeminent above these, the red vane of the Liver-
pool heiTing merchant's top masted sloop, floated in
the breeze. By the latter vessels, the fish are taken
to England to be cured, a practice which renders
them inferior in the market, and which is likely to be
discontinued, since curing houses, of which formerly
there were none on the spot, are now in progress of
being built.
Notwithstanding the appearances of business, the
Manx men, like people in all parts of the world, find
time for grumbling. They say the smoke and whiz-
zing of the steam-boats has frightened away the fish,
and owing to that cause alone they declare that
the herrings are not near so abundant as formerly.
But I think it may be presumed, that so long as the
Cornish fishermen leave their own homes to fish on
these distant grounds, their presence is in some wise
a criterion towards an opposite conclusion. The
life of a fisherman, notwithstanding all their hard-
ships, so long as, poor fellows, they have capital, is
independent and exhilarating ; for at one and twenty
lie is his own commander, and the privilege of
apprenticeship, is a roving commission over the
British dominions. His boat his castle, self-will
sitting at the helm, directs its course over the manor
of the wide sea. In authority, moreover, over few
subjects indeed, he enjoys at any rate supremacy,
for even though three or four red worsted night-caps
IW
^^^ * nj8
38 PEEL CASTLE. [CH.
cover the heads of all his crew, no man on board dare
dispute his will, more than were his commands
uttered through the speaking trumpet of some tall
admiral.
The boats in the river form a still more dense
cluster, inasmuch as the very small stream, from its
limited dimensions, contains little hai'bour space.
On the opposite bank, the green hills above are
converted to a drying ground for the nets, which
generally are spread over the grass to a consider-
able extent, and cartloads are frequently arriv-
ing on the quay, to be ferried across for the same
purpose. Seaward, the bold bluff coast to the
north terminates by a headland not unlike that of
Dungeness in Kent ; but the magnificent rock at
the mouth of the river, and the noble old castle that
stands thereon frowning over the waters, engage one's
whole attention. The aforesaid rock, the site of Peel
Castle, celebrated by Scott in Peveril of the Peak, is
an island, whereof the sea only a few years since
washed every part of its base. For the protection of
the harbour, a wedgelike wall, or mound of stone, has
since been built, so as to connect it with the main
land, and to form together with the rock a continued
bank of the river. On the opposite side, the said
wall forms the head of a sandy shelving little bay,
where the sea, clear as crystal, and sheltered by the
rock and castle on one side, and by the high land rising
abruptly from the water's edge on the other, affords a
spot as lovely for the purposes of bathing, were it to be
so appropriated, as the imagination can conceive.
My chief object at present being to see the interior
of the venerable castle, I had previously been in search
of the personage entrusted with the keys, and the
in.] OLD TOM. 39
result of my expedition transported me to this
spot for the purpose of being ferried across to the
rock, whither the aforesaid functionary, whether
governor, seneschal, or what not, but universally
known throughout the whole town, by the name of
" Old Tom," had already proceeded. As no admit-
tance to the castle can possibly be gained without " Old
Tom," I had gone in the first instance to his private
dwelling, whence I heard he had only a few minutes
before departed to the castle in charge of a party.
Stepping now into a boat, the boy, handling a sin-
gle oar at the stern like the tail of an eel, sculled rae
in a few turns of the wrist across the river, whence 1
landed on the rude naked rock, the remnant of an
ancient flight of steps, of which it is now difficult
to distinguish those artificial, from the work of nature.
Above, the ancient door of massive timber in good
preservation, being wide open, I walked in.
" Old Tom" was at this time engaged in doing the
honours of his vocation to some half dozen persons,
male and female, whom he was haranguing with
consequential demeanour, leading the way by turns
to the ruins of the guard-room haunted by " the
spectre hound," and thence to the sally-port whence
" the Countess of Darhij" as he said, " made her
escape with her sarvant maid Fenella," and thenct-
afterwards to the dungeon or crypt, an oblong vault,
supported by thirteen pointed arches, now nearly
filled up by earth and rubbish, w ithin whose dreary
walls, the Duchess of Gloucester ended her days
inider the gaolership of Sir John Stanley. Upon all
these reliques of antiquity "Old Tom" dwelt witii u
precision that savoured of former military habits, and
a prolixity, much increased by the too liberal aid of
40 OLD TOM. [CH.
whiskey; and upon every point of authority, he quoted
Sir Walter Scott, as if neither before nor since, there
ever existed another historian. For himself, " forty
years had he been" he said " in his Majesty's ser-
vice," which assertion, as he wore an artillery coat
on his back, and had only one eye in his head, was
in point of fact the more likely to be true. What-
ever became of his lost eye, old Tom never declared
the story to his hearers ; if not poked out by the
enemy's bayonet, it probably perished suddenly by
the explosion of gunpowder ; indications of violence
were however indisputably evident, of some sort or
other, for the job was as it were after all only half
performed, and done badly ; that is to say, the empty
socket looked as if the crows that plucked out part
of the eye, had left the remainder.
Upon all matter of circumstantial narration, the
visitors now present seemed to place implicit cre-
dence ; neither are the means at hand available to
counteract old Tom's testimony ; no ancient inscrip-
tion, not even a single letter remains on the walls, or
on any part of the ruins to afford information ; the
entire building meanwhile, as regards the state of
preservation, being rather more dilapidated than Ro-
chester Castle in Kent. Within two unroofed chapels
appertaining to the domain are several tomb-stones
of modern date, in memory of shipwrecked per-
sons, who, according to custom under such contin-
gencies, have there from time to time been buried ;
obsequies, humble as they'may appear, paid to the
dead nevertheless at the expense of no little trouble
and toil to the living ; for not only is the ceremony
performed in a spot particularly exposed to the
wind and the rain in tempestuous weather, but
III.] AN INGENIOUS EXPEDIENT. 41
the corpse, mourners, and clergyman, are all neces-
sarily previously ferried thither across the river in a
boat.
The aspect of the tilting yard covered by a light
green carpet of vegetative sward, such as, though
commonly seen within ancient castles, is never
equalled by art either in the lawn or bowling green,
fronts the western sea, on a spot elevated and un-
sheltered, based on the rugged rock, whose area is
altogether about four English acres ; whence the
waves of the sea below, in stormy weather bound-
ing far above the summit into the air, sweep
across to windward in incessant clouds of mist
and spray. Here in sunshine and in summer it is
delightful to sit and listen to the roar of the waves,
to inhale the fragrant freshness of the sea, and observe
how upon the surface of the weather beaten ruins,
the tempest and the hurricane have by degrees
effected a change, which in somewise assists and co-
operates with the destroying hand of time. The
wind and the rain, acting upon the broken walls,
as well as upon heaps of the fallen material, have
here and there invested the surface with a coating of
sand, shell, and soil, whereupon herbage has subse-
quently sprung, till the whole has become an indis-
tinct mass, and almost indeterminable whether it be
now formed of earth or stone. Sufficient probably
by and by, after a lapse of years, to puzzle the anti-
quary. Of such examples there are many, but of one
in particular, a sort of oblong, elevated grave-stone,
surrounded on three sides by a rude continuous seat,
I must take more especial notice ; for the above struc-
ture, covered by a coating of herbage produced by
the causes aforesaid, though it might very well be
42 AN INGENIOUS EXPEDIENT. [cH.
mistaken for an hundred years old, was altogether
raised by old Tom himself only a few years ago,
and is a striking instance, how, in matters of anti-
quity, trivial causes, if unknown and unrecorded, may
in time possibly become confounded with more im-
portant agency.
From the site of this edifice or mound, salubrious
and airy, only a few yards removed from the verge of
the lofty rock, is had an uninterrupted view of the sea,
and here is a spot long since chosen whereon to spread
a table and display their viands, by the pic nic parties
who in the summer think proper to visit Peel Castle,
on their tour round the island. For these assemblages
of persons, consisting of various and different descrip-
tions of compan}". Old Tom accordingly partly pro-
vided for the revelry, furnishing especially a deal
table and chairs without delay to all who I'equired
them. Irishmen in particular were used here to con-
gregate, and hold wassail amid clouds of tobacco, till
becoming more and more elevated, owing to the thin
air or the whiskey, or enlivened by early associations
connected with the enchanting prospect in clear
weather before them, of the shores of old Ireland, it
invariably happened some how or other in the end,
that they always grew riotous and noisy. Thence it
followed inevitably, when the liquor was expended,
and the fact is attested by woeful experience of the
purveyor, the furniture being light, and the fists
of the revellers heavy, that whatever consequences
otherwise ensued, at any rate the wooden tables
and chairs, as sure as a gun, were smashed at
the close of the entertainment. Some choice spirit
or other, whether John Bull, Sandy Anderson, or
Paddy from Cork, no matter, somebody . however,
III.] THE CAVERN. 43
predestined, like Ascanius of old to demolish the
tables,
" Heus etiam mensas consumimus inquit lulus"
with a big thump and a crash accordingly brought
matters always to the aforesaid conclusion. Old
Tom, merely by the help of his one eye, at once per-
ceived that reform was necessary, and that to meet
the wants of his company, and suit the interests of
his pocket as regarded tables and chairs, wood was
altogether too fragile a material. Thus driven to re-
sources, he invented a substitute, such as I have
already adverted to, whereby from the ruins of the
castle, disposed in suitable array, he completed a
table and seat of stone, and overlaid the same with
turf, which, since pelted by the weather, already bears
semblance of antiquity ; and in after ages, long after
old Tom's eye has ceased to wink, may perhaps be
mistaken by the learned, for the tomb of some doughty
warrior.
After viewing the castle, I returned to the boat,
and rowing out of the harbour, entered a cavern,
which perforates the rock for a long way under the
foundations of the castle. This cavern is celebrated
in Waldron's history of the Isle of Man, for emitting
a hollow subterraneous sound, produced by the waves
of the sea, which re-bellow within, and enter roaring
at its mouth. Sir Walter Scott, in Peveril of the
Peak, alludes also to the same property of the cavern,
the site of which, by the way, he sometimes con-
founds with that of Castle Rushen, twelve miles dis-
tant. As the day was clear, and the sea particularly
calm, I was enabled to enter the aperture, a low arcli
resting upon the sea, wherein the spring and buoy-
44 THE CAVERN. [CH.
ancy of the wave is so elastic, that it was with the
greatest difficulty the boat was prevented from being
beaten to pieces against the rocks. I should be sorry
to repeat this experiment ; and after all, when within
there is little to see ; however, the sound produced
by the gurgling water within, was really extraordi-
nary. The cavern is, perhaps, a score of feet in length,
and a dozen feet high, ending in a chasm or channel,
through which, as regards its size, one might drag
the carcase of a dead bullock. Within this aperture,
a volume of water, as the wave rises, rushes forwards
for a long way with furious force, and as it falls, is
disgorged back again, through the bowels of the rock ;
thus sobbing at intervals, like the sound of a multi-
tude of animals, the roaring of an hundred lions. Far
within, in the distance, and in a line, evidently reach-
ing under the castle, a guttural sound, stifled as it
were for want of egress, increases by degrees, till it
bursts forth at its mouth like the crash of a falling
forest, or the din of a cataract. During the short
time I remained within the cavern, the boat was lifted
up and down by an exceedingly violent motion,
whence the sides of the rock, by the friction of the
waves, and their continual action, are rendered as
polished as marble.
CHAPTER IV.
ISLE OF MAN.
A Benefit Society — A Manx Peasant — Waterfall of Glenmaye—
Churchand Church -yard of Kirk Patrick — Slate Tomb-stones
— Waterfall of Foxdale — Foxdale Lead Mines — Slate Quar-
ries at Barrule — Mills — Indigenous Mill-stone — Improved
Aspect of the Country — Kirk Christ Rushen — Port Iron —
A Night's Lodging in the Public-house — A rough Landing-
place — Gulls protected — Brada Head — Lead Mines — Their
extraordinary Position — Calf of Man — Beautiful Natural
Quay — Rats and Rat-catchers — Aspect of the Island — Rab-
bits — Bos well's House.
In a subsequent year to the period before alluded to
at the commencement of my second Chapter, I took
up my quarters for the night at the principal inn at
Peel Town, intending from thence the next morning
to proceed on an excursion on horseback, by a moun-
tain route, again to the south of the island, where, as
a great part was still unexplored, I entertained, parti-
cularly with regard to the inhabitants, in consequence
of the events related in my fomier visit, not a little
curiosity. Acccrdingly I proposed, after the morn-
ing's ride, to rest at night not far from Poolvash, at
the little fishing village of Port Iron, and return
on the third day to Peel Town, or Douglas.
I was provided at the inn with comfortable apart-
ments, and experienced the same kind hospitable
attention that one usually meets with at rural inns in
England. As I rambled about the streets after an
early dinner, I encountered a benefit society, who,
on one of their days of festival, were marching in pro-
46 A BENEFIT SOCIETY. [CH.
cession through the town, and I could not refrain
from observing with satisfaction the brotherly feel-
ings that seemed to animate this body of men. It
were well if always, the demon of party spirit
were strangled by the bond of union. For first and
foremost, three and three, hand in hand, in token of
amity and universal toleration, marched the clergy-
man of the parish, the dissenting minister, and
another of the principal inhabitants. These were
preceded by a band of music, and followed by the
rest of the fraternity, walking two and two, each
bearing a white wand ornamented with narrow
strips of ribband, and for the remainder of the even-
ing, in the streets of Peel Town, notwithstanding a
convivial meeting was celebrated on the occasion,
there appeared no deviation whatever from good
order and sobriety.
After the procession had disappeared, I strolled
leisurely into the country to see the waterfall of
Glenmaye, three miles distant, which is considered
by the inhabitants of the Isle of Man, where rivers
are of small dimensions, a formidable cataract. I
had proceeded a little way when I encountered a
Manx peasant, who seemed comfortable after his
dinner, and moreover mightily inclined to be so-
ciable ; so we walked along the road together. In
fact he accosted me with an air of kindliness and ease,
as if I w^ere an old acquaintance. " A fine evening,
master," said he, holding out at the same time the
hard hand of honesty, which I shook accordingly,
for it was tendered in good fellowship, and in a man-
ner not devoid of grace, as an action sincerely in-
tended, and of ordinary habit. My new friend,
however, inquisitive to a superlative degree, asked
IV.] A MANX PEASANT. 47
me all manner of questions. Whereupon, resolving
to be even with him, " Who made your coat ?" said I,
abruptly looking steadily on the garment he wore
on his back, of blue coarse cloth, such as is com-
monly used among the Welsh peasantry, his trousers
moreover were loose, and of the same material.
"Who made my coat?" said he, repeating my words
crustily, and looking keenly in my face, to see
whether or not I were quizzing him ; however, as I
kept my gi'avity, " Why who the devil d'ye think
made it? It was made at home;" added he rather
reservedly. " And the cloth ?" said I. " That was
made at home too," said he. Having obtained the
required information, I readily replied to all further
interrogations, and then by degrees he became in his
tuni, good humoured and communicative. He paid
eight pounds a year he said, for six acres of ground
adjoining his own cottage, nor had he ever in his life
been out of the island. " I was born," said he, " in
that very house, and my father lives there still ;" and
then he pointed to a little hovel in the distance era-
l)edded among the mountains, and so small, that it
really looked like a haycock.
Having left him to descend the bank of the
ravine leading to the waterfall, I scrambled through
the bushes by a zigzag path, in some places almost
])erpcndicular, and found myself in a few minutes
standing on the bank of the small basin or pool of
the cascade, serenaded by a cloud of mosquitoes.
The jet of the cataract during freshes from the
mountains, possesses no mean capabilities of display,
but the stream at present falling from a height of
about twenty feet, might have been contained in a
48 SLATE TOMB-STONES. [CH.
cylindrical pipe of a foot diameter. The features of
the glen, expanding towards the sea, produce an ef-
fect of space not here to be expected, and in the
variety of landscape, thence spots are to be selected,
for almost every description of rural habitation ; the
elevated mountain, the craggy ravine, the bluff cliffs
of the sea shore, the bubbling stream, or the lowly
valley.
On my return to Peel Town, I visited the church-
yard of the diminutive village church of Kirkpatrick,
where, on many a grave-stone, foraied of slate
split from the rude rock, I observed inscriptions ap-
parently scratched with a common nail or spike, as
far back as the year 1744 and 5, which, though con-
tinuall}^ exposed horizontally on the ground to the
open air, were still perfectly legible; and slate-stone,
no doubt, from its smooth texture, notwithstanding
its softness, is more durable as a grave-stone, and re-
tains characters longer than harder material. Slate-
stone in the Isle of Man is not only abundant, but,
for every possible purpose to which it can be applied
with economy, is universally used. The lintels of
doors, the porches of cottages, the gate-posts in the
farm-yards and fields, and the mooring posts for
vessels on the quays, are all made of slate-stone ; and
it is only extraordinary, that, being impervious to
water, and fissile in quality, it is only of late years
that people have become aware of its general utility.
Now cisterns in Lambeth, and in many places
other important articles, such as billiard-tables, and
what not, are made of slate-stone ; and in point of
fact, there is hardly any part of a human dwelling,
within or without, from the roof to the foundation,
IV.] WATERFALL OF FOXDALE. 49
beams, rafters, and all, that might not if reqmred, be
readily sawn, planed, and bored, the same almost as
in wood, from blocks of native slate-stone.
The next morning I mounted my nag, and pro-
ceeded on my intended way by the Douglas road
as far as St. John's, whence, turning to the right,
I made progress to the village of Foxdale, about
seven miles from Peel Town, Here also, adjoining
the road, is a waterfall, superior, I think, and at all
events easier of access, than that of Glenmaye. The
fall is higher, and the space below is planted with
fine young trees, — an inviting spot whereon to pass
the time in shade, during the sultry day. The cas-
cade, propelled from above through a chasm of slate-
stone rock, whereof by its friction it has rounded
and polished the edges, pursues afterwards its
course at the bottom, through a self-cut bed of
the same material, indented, and worn smooth
withal, as the work of human hands. With my
horse's bridle on my arm, such was the clear blue
colour of the natural trough, and the translucent
clearness of the stream, that I could readily have
loitered here a long time, even self-acquitted of the
charge of indolence ; but like water, so is life ; lovely
in tranquillity, and lovelier still by motion and variety.
Profiting by this sentiment, and accordingly con-
tented with what I had seen, I remounted my horse
and rode away.
I was now among the mountains; and quitting
the road on the left or east, proceeded forthwith
towards the Foxdale lead-mines, over a wide ex-
panse covered with heather, whereon a few years
ago, grouse were tolerably plentiful, and even
now in the winter, are plenty of snipes and wood-
VOL. II. D
60 FOXDALE LEAD -MINES. [CH,
cocks. These mines are church property, at present
rented of the bishop by the Chester mining company,
who have recently inidertaken to work them, not-
withstanding the whole surface of the ground being
a morass, the operation of pumping the water out of
the shafts is rendered more precarious, and moreover
every ton of coal for the use of the steam-engine is
unavoidably carted seven miles, almost every foot of
the way uphill, from Douglas. It is in contempla-
tion to sink for coal, and, they say, with expectation
of success. At any rate, the ore is rich enough to
induce people to work the mines under all disad-
vantages. Hitherto, labour has been chiefly exhausted
in preparation. I observed a steam-engine of forty-
six horsepower applied to the purpose of pumping one
shaft; a water-wheel of forty-one feet diameter in
another, and not far apart from these, another large
water-wheel and shaft.
Within a mile of the lead-mines, are the extensive
slate- quarries of Barrule, whence slate of the finest
quality is procured and transported toward other
l)arts of the island. The site of the quarries is so
elevated as to afford a view, in a clear day, of the
coasts of England, Scotland, Ireland, and Wales, al-
together ; nevertheless it is a curious fact, brought by
the opportunity of a prospect so imintercepted to
one's observation, that notwithstanding the whole
country is as much exposed to the wind as it is de-
ficient in water, yet all the mills are water-mills, I
think with only one exception. In the south, near
Castleton, there is. certainly one wind-mill, and if
there be another, which I doubt, it is at all events in
the north of the island. The water-mills, such as
they are, are usually of exceedingly small power, those
IV.] MILLS. 51
of Granaby, where three or four pair of stones are
driven, being I believe the largest establishment of
any ; they are generally situated in secluded situa-
tions on the mountain rivulets, where, were it not
for the water-wheel that scatters the stream in the
sunshine, the spectator as he passes along, would
overlook, from its diminutive proportions, the low-
roofed cottage itself. Hitherto the supply of water
for mechanical power is everywhere as precarious
as nature fii'st designed it ; and abundant quantities
during rainy seasons are wasted in the sea, that
might readily be economised by means of artificial
lakes and reservoirs, so as to increase equably
the mill-streams to an indefinite amount. At pre-
sent, so far from such means having been adopted
by experimental or speculative persons for their own,
or the public interest, with the exception of drain-
age for ordinary purposes in another part, no work
worthy of notice has been performed ; neither is there
a lake, or large pond, either natural or artificial, within
the limits of the island.
Besides the slate here dug, a hard stone is found
in abundance, usually in large loose blocks near the
surface of the ground ; it nearly resembles the
French burr, and though not quite so hard, answers
the purpose of inferior mill-stones ; from this ma-
terial almost every one of the mills is supplied with
one pair of stones, wherewith barley and oats are
ground.
From this commanding eminence the country be-
low to the southward, including the whole distance
to Castleton Bay, consists of a wide tract of rich allu-
vial soil, spreading from the mountain's base to the
sea, where agricultural opulence and rural comfort
d2
52 PORT IRON. [CH.
are contrasted in pleasing diversity to the country
about Douglas or Peel Town. Larger farms and more
extensive fields, whereon lime is used abundantly as
a manure; and comfortable looking white-washed
liouses, so profusely scattered over the land as to
create the appearance of a continuous, straggling
village, take place of the meagre features of the afore-
said ban'en district.
Hence I descended, passing by the Granaby mills
before mentioned, which mills lie low in a pleasant
glen, and traversing the alluvial space just alluded to
by the neat village of Colby, and the church and
church-yard of Kirk Christ Rushen, where the grave-
stones equal, number for space, those in any ceme-
tery 1 every saw ; I rode on in a direction straight
between the cliffs of Brada and of Spanish Head,
and took up my quarters, as previously intended, on
the sea-shore, at the small fishing village of Port Iron.
Of the cottages, two are public-houses, and in number
about a score, occupy altogether a shelving sandy
beach, at the head of a narrow bay, both sides of
which are bounded by towering rocks of considerable
elevation. There is no quay or landing place other
than is formed by craggy projections of the aforesaid
rocks, so well adapted by nature to the purpose, that
for small craft, the fishermen can hardly require
better accommodation.
The woman of the public house, M'hose husband
was absent, when I rode up to the door, kindly under-
took to provide me a lodging for the night, and fare
as good as the premises afforded ; and consigned, by
the hands of a bare-legged boy who acted as hostler,
my horse to the stable. Here I saw him deposited
within an empty shed, wherein the former tenants,
IV.] PORT IRON. 53
the cows, had profusely left behind the means of
cooling his feverish hoofs, and I moreover presented
him with an ample feed of good oats, though fortune
was not equally favourable with regard to fodder.
At all events I obtained the best I could, for I con-
sider it a duty to see the poor tired horse well pro-
vided in all his wants, while under our charge. Pro-
vidence has placed an animal for the time being under
our especial guardianship, and he certainly fails, in a
sense both moral and religious, who, not only with-
holds from the patient slave his hard earned right, but
subjects him by consequent weakness, to say nothing
of the present pains of hunger, to unmerited i)unish-
ment as a laggard, by the whip of a future master.
For my own part, as regarded a donnitory, 1 felt
much inclined to leave matters to the good will of
my hostess, and to chance ; for a glimpse of the
dwelling on entering the door, made it plain to per-
ceive, that the shape of the upper rooms was pre-
cisely regulated by the slant of the roof; in short,
that, divided as they might be by partitions, the
whole house was, in point of fact, composed only of
a kitchen and a cock-loft. There was, it is true, a
small den called a parlour, of which the door, not
being intended to shut, afforded no protection with
regard to privacy, so that I could hear every word of
the conversation of a group of fishermen, who, rough
as banditti, were seated drinking in the kitchen.
The colloquy was held in English and in Manx,
sometimes in one language, and occasionally in both
together; and not only in the above respect, but in
manners also, a striking difference is perceptible here
between the inhabitants of the southern, and those
of the other parts of the island. It is extraordinary
54 PORT IRON. [CH,
in these civilized times, that pains should be any-
where taken, by preserving these ancient tongues, to
nourish ignorance and perpetuate barbarism, to pre-
serve contrary to natural laws, by associations and
otherwise, provincial dialects originally proper to in-
accessible and mountainous districts, which, as com-
munication extends among mankind, would, if left to
themselves, die a natural death. However, in the
Isle of Man, the steam navigation is quickly over-
powering every eifort to retain the native literature,
and the Manx tongue every year is becoming less and
less used. In the mean time, where it prevails, the
people are certainly proportionately wilder and more
uncivilized in their appearance, than in those parts
where it is utterly extinct; and no wonder; for though
it really seems absurd to believe yet such is really the
case, the peasant, at the end of one morning's walk,
transports himself beyond the reach of his mother
tongue. The same remark may be applied to the
Basque temtory in Spain.
The first measure I adopted, having taken quiet
possession of my parlour, was to order dinner, and
here I experienced some inconvenience from excess
of civility, for I was unable, by all the arguments in-
my power, to persuade my landlady to prepare her-
rings for my repast, since she had predetermined to
serve up, by way of a treat, a mess of fried bacon and
eggs. The former, the staple of the village, though
in profusion, and excellent, being considered in
the light of a gratuitous gift of the ocean, were
undervalued accordingly. In the mean time the
good woman had already tucked up her sleeves,
and in earnest set to work in her vocation ;
acting in the double capacity of cook and nurse at
IV.]. PORT IRON. 55
one and the same time, besides supplying occasion-
ally her thirsty customers with drink. Under one
arm she supported a sucking baby, as if it were a
wheat-sheaf; with a fork in the other hand, she
turned over and over, from side to side, the hissing
bacon in the fiying-pan. A lively little maiden, ever
on the alert, was continually running up and down
the cellar stairs to draw beer for the fishermen ; and
an aged creature, the mother of the landlady, cold
and comfortless, and by surviving all human sym-
pathies grown peevish and helpless, sat drowsily, as
it were in token of the monotonous tenor of her own
existence, rocking a new-born infant in its cradle.
Poor old soul, she longed for relief from mortal
trouble, and scrupled not to say so, telling me more-
over she was eighty-eight years old and full of misery.
With a view to comfort her amid her complainings,
" many years you may live yet," said I, whereupon
with a scream of agony, and a look of horror, she en-
ti'eated me with emphatic earnestness by no means
to say so ; with some reason, no doubt, if repose
were her object, for here at the close of life, instead
of repose, the unfortunate granny was doomed to
bewilderment, stunned by the din of tongues, and
jostled by old and young. The bare -legged boy,
just returned from the stable, obedient to every body's
bidding, had taken again his place among the com-
pany, and stood by the fire with a healthy honest
face, and looks that candidly declared him capable
of eating, if nobody w^ere by, every egg and rasher
in the frying-pan.
Notwithstanding the fishermen were rude and
noisy in demeanour, they were scrupulously kind
and observant towards the females : of these there
56 PORT IRON. [CH,
were none other present than those of the household,
but of guests, near a score before night made their
appearance. When I returned after an evening
walk, I found things precisely in the state I left
them, except that people were perhaps a little more
argumentative than before.
As my door declined to shut, I sat with it wide
open, the better to see the company; and still farther
derogating from the majesty of solitude, as I had
hitherto invariably met with civility, in order on my
part to conform to the fashion of things around, I
desired a pint of beer to be set on the table before me ;
and thus employed 1 remained till near ten o'clock,
when as I was thinking of going to rest, I saw three men
with blackened faces standing outside the window.
I was staggered for an instant at their sudden ap-
pearance, consequently concluding that under such
a disguise — the men's faces being as black as coal-
heavers' — mischief surely was intended. With re-
ference to myself and to former adventures in the
neighbourhood, I really sincerely wished I had let
well alone, and, having escaped once prosperously from
the hands of the inhabitants, had now staid away.
However, I remained not long in suspense, for the
three men burst into the outer room, where their ap-
pearance was immediately hailed with an universal
hollaballoo. They were miners by trade, young
men of the village, casually employed to unload a
vessel freighted with coal from Ayr, in Scotland, and
now in their masquerade costume, after a severe
day's work, afforded merriment owing to their
appearance, and quickly made manifest their own
particular object, by calling for refreshment. Em-
ployed in the lead-mines at Brada Head, their
IV.] A ROUGH LODGING IN THE PUBLIC-HOUSE. 57
services had been teinporarily called to another
department; for the vessel lay at anchor near the
cliff, under a brisk off-shore gale, during the conti-
nuance of which, it was indispensable that the job
should be quickly completed, for, at that part of the
coast, at no other season dare a vessel at anchor
maintain her position. The young men, accordingly,
had laboured unremittingly, as if the sloop and cargo
had actually belonged to themselves, since four o'clock
in the morning during the entire summer's day ; and
again on the morrow, at the same early hour, were
about to renew their toil. The animated bearing of
the young Manxmen in question beamed brightly
through the mask of coal-dust and perspiration that
deformed their countenances, as, highly pleased with
themselves and all things about them, they rioted in
the mere enjoyment of existence — a delight that the
young and powerful alone can know, when the elastic
fibre serenely reposes after severe exertion, and the
moral sense, proportionately wide awake, exults in
its prowess. Though wild in his gait, than the
English peasant the Manxman is a vast deal more
volatile and airy, and though all now conversed in
the jyatois of the island, in wit and hilarity, and in
mental calibre, I saw plainl}' they far exceeded our
native clowns. None of the party, notwithstanding
the merriment, in anywise exceeded the bounds of
sobriety, but in good order and fellowship, before
eleven o'clock, all had beat their retreat. The latch
of the door having then performed its last ofhce,
once more a member of a })eaceful family, I retired
to rest.
To my comfort and surprise, the ))repaiations of
my hostess ver\' far exceeded all previous expccta-
D 3
58 GULLS PROTECTED. [CH.
tion ; and though I mounted a staircase which
resembled a ladder, I found ready with curtains and
coverlid, a bed stuffed with harsh straw and clad
with coarse sheets, but, like every thing else in the
apartment, tidy, and scrupulously clean. Indeed
such was the vigilance displayed for the sake of
even the semblance of decency, that I actually dis-
lodged sundry articles, including a bran new cheese
and an old pack of cards, craftily deposited in am-
bush between the bed and the tester.
At daybreak in the morning I walked down to
the bay, where T was speedily joined by the owner
of a boat with whom I had previously made arrange-
ments, and his two assistants. As we approached
the skiff, which lay moored to the rocks, we were
sun-ounded by numerous gulls that hovered close
above our heads, all of which were so tame, that
being on the ground, and walking about at their
leisure on the sea-shore, they took little notice as we
passed, but flapping their wings gently, either in
compliment to us, or to recreate themselves, merely
made believe to rise. Protected by the fishermen,
the law of the land inflicts a penalty of three pounds
upon whomsoever, either wilfully or wantonly, shoots
one of their race ; and such, accordingly, is the good
understanding between those of the heavy boots and
the web-footed, that the latter here in the neigh-
bourhood of Port Iron, walk about as securely and
peaceably as ordinary ducks in a farm-yard. The
keen eye of the gull when the herrings appear,
enables him to discover the first twinkle of their
scales, and detect the myriads that swim crowding
together beneath the wave ; and collecting in flocks,
they hover over the spot, continually marking, by
IV.] BRADA HEAD. 59
Iheir progress in the air, the finny phalanx below.
The sagacious mancEuvre infuses life in the village,
and the fishermen receive the signal with joy. Ever
on the alert, they throw their nets in the boat, and
when after the toilsome day they return laden to
their homes, the auxiliary gulls receive the reward
of their services in the small fry and garbage.
The access to the landing-place is inconvenient
and slippery. We ascended for some distance over
craggy slabs of rock, then descended again to the
level of the sea, and stepping into the boat, which
floated in deep water, rowed out of the bay, and in
a quarter of an hour were pulling with a steady
stroke under the blufflofty cliffs of Brada Head. This
magnificent headland — a stupendous precipice — re-
minded me at first sight of the sea-girt rock of Ailsa
Craig, on the coast of Galloway, and the resemblance
is rendered more perfect by the legions of sea-birds
that continually swarm upon its brow. Hither I had
come to see the site of the lead-mines, the scene of
operations of the three young miners before men-
tioned ; and I was sufhciently gratified, were it only
to have gained a momentary glimpse of the opera-
tions here conducted. A situation more extraordinary
for works like these is hardly to be found in the king's
dominions ; for the mines, after a long interval, were
at this time about to be re-opened, and a building to
contain the steam-engine was in progress of erection.
The site chosen for this purpose was an abutting
point of the perpendicular cliff, inaccessible from
below, and so near the water's edge, that even in
moderate weather its foundation is unceasingly
lashed by the waves. The masonry of the building
is imbedded in the rock, and constructed with corro-
60 LEAD MINES. [CH,
spending solidity. The main le\el perforates the
side of the chflf close to the aforesaid engine-house,
and other levels, far above among the sea birds' ha-
bitations, are also about to be re-opened and worked
afresh. The access from the village to the lower
level first mentioned, is by a perilous zigzag path,
that descends the greater part of the way from the
extreme summit of the cliff, until becoming abso-
lutely precipitous, the remainder of the distance is
completed by a tunnel.
A few fathoms from the shore the collier sloop, of
which mention has already been made, rolling and
toppling on the wave, and desperately rocking from
side to side, held on by a heavy strain upon her
anchor; andhence to the engine-house, the coal, as fast
as unladen, was first conveyed to the base of the
cliff in a boat, and then in sacks, upon men's shoul-
ders, was carried to the engine-house some forty or
fifty feet above. The young miners and eight or ten
more labourers were already merrily progressing at
their work, and engaged in a sen'ice utterly imprac-
ticable but for the strength and energy of youth. By
means of planks laid from crag to crag, some resting
unsteady, and all at great elevation, every sack of
coal was transported from point to point, across the
intervening chasms, and now and then among uneven
ledges of rock ; so that even with caution and diffi-
culty, and unimpeded by any burden, I could scarcely
follow the laden men up the craggy steep. 'Ihe
object once attained, I speedily came down again ;
but not before recognized by my black-muzzled ac-
quaintance, who with hearty good humour, and a
spread of white teeth, as I stepped into the boat
gave signal to the rest, who altogether, mistaking me
IV.] CALF OF MAN. 61
I suppose for an inspecting proprietor, greeted my
departure with a lusty hurrah ; or perhaps it was
mere gratitude for a little contribution, always consi-
dered meritorious — namely, a trifle bestowed to
purchase strong beer.
Once more in the boat, the boatmen doffed their
jackets, and laying sturdily to the oars, pulled across
the mouth of Port Iron bay to the Calf of Man. The
sea was quite calm during the whole of the passage,
which lasted three quarters of an hour ; for the wind
blowing strong all the while from the shore, we were
under the lee of the land. The passage to the Calf
of Man from Port Iron is infinitely preferable to that
from Port le Murray ; for in the latter case, the nar-
row gut is to be passed formed by the intervening
little island of Kitterland, where always exists a
bubbling turbulent swell. At present we skirted
this fretting torrent, and passing close to the afore-
said Kitterland, whereon, though a mere speck in
the sea, I observed a dozen sheep grazing, we landed
upon the Calf of Man. Here is a small natural har-
bour, so sheltered and perfect, that as a place of
landing for small craft, the assistance of art is hardly
necessarj' for farther improvement. Within a narrow
inlet, a basin of deep transparent water, from whose
bottom the long succulent stems and broad spreading
leaves of submarine plants sprout, waving backwards
and forwards towai'ds the surface, is surrounded on
ever}' side by high land ; and the rocks which form
the landing, consisting of horizontal ledges, ab-
ruptly protrude from the shore into deep water ; so
that a good sized sloop might here, without farther
preparation, with the greatest facility either disem-
bark or receive a cargo.
62 RATS AND RATCATCHER. [CH.
During the passage from Brada Head, 1 con-
versed with the boatmen on the subject of the island
we were going to visit, and I was amused by their
history, so little did they know" of its merits or
localities. On making enquiry at Douglas, only
fourteen miles distant, few people whom I asked had
ever been there ; and one would be led to imagine,
from general report, that it was a spot visited for no
other reason than because two lighthouses are built
upon it, and moreover, productive only in two staple
articles — namely, sea birds' eggs and rabbits. The
boatmen conformed to the latter account, and re-
lated exaggerated tales of the rats, that have colo-
nized to destroy the rabbits. Of the former, they said
that on a moonlight night some thousands regularly
congregated at their gambols, and sometimes, when
making war on each other, a multitude might be seen
galloping in droves, or in squadron in order of battle.
The proprietor of the rabbits, they farther declared,
engaged a learned Scotsman from Edinburgh College,
who, a few years ago, at a constant salary of forty
shillings a week, undertaking to reside on the spot
and extirpate the destroyers, for the space of
four months received regular pay, and plied them
meanwhile with oil of rhodium and deadly viands in
profusion. In despite of his best efforts, however, the
vermin in the end prevailed, and since baffled skill
knows no mortal resource, the Scotsman accordingly
left the island.
On disembarking from the boat, I found with some
regret, that in accordance with other arrangements,
the short period of time remaining at my disposal was
limited to an hour and a half; enough, certainly, to
traverse the track or road that passes from end to end
IV.] ASPECT OF THE ISLAND. 63
across the middle longitudinally, and to return by
the same route, but insufficient leisurely to make
a circuit of the lofty and magnificent cliffs. Never-
theless, at the conclusion of my ramble, I resumed
my place in the boat under a perfectly different impres-
sion than when I set forward, for instead of a sandy
desert, such as I had expected to see from the
account I had heard, filled with rabbits and rats, on
the contrary, the whole expanse rather teemed with
vegetative power ; and at any rate during my short
sojourn, neither a single rabbit nor rat did I happen
to see.
The ground rises immediately from the landing-
place to a considerable elevation, towards the summit
of which, slate-stone has already been dug from an
abundant quarry. Hence the aforesaid road strikes
directly across the whole length of the island, over a
gently undulating surface, covered with luxuriant
heather. Of this moor land there is apparently quite
sufficient, were it stocked with grouse, to afford sport
for a shooting party for an entire week ; while the
extraordinary strength of the heather — not harsh
stunted plants, but consisting of rich blooming
bushes, almost in many places up to one's middle —
seems to indicate a soil that, under the discipline of
the plough, might be subjected to much improvement.
In fact, a great part of the island is now likely to be
brought under tillage, having been purchased by
an individual, as I understood, for three thousand
pounds, who has built a farm-house and offices
on a centrical spot, and brought an hundred acres
at least under cultivation. The dwelling of this
cacique or proprietor is a simple stone building,
with farm-yard, barn, stable, and all aj^purte-
64 ASPECT OF THE ISLAND. [CH.
nances, the whole well supplied with water by a
pump, from a spring a few yards only below the surface
of the ground. The rabbits inhabit the south-western
part of the territory. Of these I found upon enquiry
that about seven hundred couple are taken every
year ; and with regard to their enemies, the rats, it
must be confessed that the latter were certainly
abundant, and farther, that not only they lived upon
the rabbits, but in herds, a sort of imperium in ini-
perio, inhabited their burrows. Of live stock there
are sheep and black cattle, together with seven
horses ; and whatever in future days may be the
amount of human population, the present census is
easily taken, amounting now altogether to eight
families, of which are to be included those people be-
longing to the two lighthouses. The latter edifices
are of brick, situated at the south-eastern extremity
of the island, with good cottages, and fields for cul-
tivation, for the use of the men employed there on
duty.
Not far from the lighthouses, on the verge of the
cliffs, in a situation particularly exposed to the
weather, in fact, j^erfectly unsheltered on any side,
are the ruins of a curious old building, called Bos-
well's House, the scantling of whose walls bears the
strength of a castle, while the figure, though con-
sisting of many apartments, is that of an ordinary
farm-house. As the spot is one in former days not
likely to have been sought from motives of pleasure,
it is the more probable the domicile was turned to
purposes of profit, and at any rate feasible, that the
owner or inhabitant, be when it may the period he
flourished, was an arrant smuggler.
On returning to the boat, fifty minutes were ex-
IV.] ASPECT OF THE ISLAND. 65
pended in pulling across to the village of Port Iron,
including a short period disposed of by the boatmen
for the purpose of securing the carcase of a ewe,
that, having her legs tied together to prevent her
from wandering, had fallen from the summit of the
cliffs, and lay dead on the beach.
CHAPTER V.
A Ride to Ramsey — Laxey — Lead Mines — Maughold Head —
Cliffs — Their extraordinary Character — The Village — The
Well — Tradition — Town of Ramsey — Bay — Singular
Jetty — A Manx Wedding Party — The Earl Grey Stage
Coach — A talkative Lady — Benevolence ill rewarded.
There are three roads from Douglas to Ramsey ; the
more direct, along the line of the coast, and the more
circuitous route, by the way of St. John's, Kirk-
michael, and Sulby. The first is not usually preferred
for wheel carriages, for though in distance only six-
teen miles, it is extremely hilly ; the other is twenty-
fiv^e miles, but hard and level the whole way. The
third track can be accomplished by foot passengers
and horsemen only, being moreover difficult to find,
and leading directly across the mountains, between
Sulby and Kirkbraddan.
On the first of the above three roads, seven miles
from Douglas, is the village of Laxey, a cluster of
clean looking cottages at the bottom of a steep wind-
ing descent, in the gorge of a magnificent ravine,
close to the sea-shore, on a small sandy bay. The
road here, after winding considerably inland, turns
suddenly towards the sea, whence the view of the vil-
lage is extremely picturesque and beautiful ; a rivulet,
for it cannot be called a river, though occasionally in
some places a score yards in breadth, by whose tri-
butary streams the machinery of the lead-mines, a
CH. v.] LEAD MINES. 67
mile distant, is worked, here empties itself into the
sea. The proprietors of the mines are solely depend-
ent on these trickling donations, neither is the supply-
rendered greater or more equable by reservoirs or
other artificial means ; the soil however being rocky,
there is little absoi^ption, so that the streams, small
as they are, are tolerably regular all the year round.
The machinery, applicable only to water power,
is of extremely simple construction, such as the vil-
lage wheelwright and blacksmith might furnish and
keep in repair ; consisting of one water-wheel of
thirty feet diameter, for the purpose of pumping the
main shaft; a second of smaller dimensions, and a
third of seventeen feet diameter, both the latter simi-
larly employed in two other shafts, and lastly, a
rough machine for crushing the ore. A man and
boy are employed to attend this machine, the former
to shovel the stones containing the ore, previously
broken to the size ordinarily used in a macadamized
road, into the hopper. The hopper is of simple con-
trivance, similar to that of a flour-mill, except that
the horizontal motion of the inclined plane below its
throat, is given by the boy, who pulls a string fastened
to the lower extremity of the plane. The broken
stones, sliding downwards, pass between two large
fluted iron cylinders, the one stationary, and the
other, being the axle of the water-wheel, continually
revolving, whereby they are cracked as easily as if they
were coffee-berries, into pieces the size of lumps of
sugar. No apparent effort of the machine during
this process is perceptible, unless, indeed, when now
and then perchance a fragment harder or larger than
usual comes in contact with the cylinders ; which
impediment, though it cause a momentary check to
68 LEAD MINES. [CH.
the rotatory motion, is soon overcome, for the cylin-
ders, separating for an instant with a jarring sound,
close again with redoubled vengeance upon the re-
creant stone, and violently dissever its particles.
So soon as the ore is broken in the manner above
described, it is again passed through a similar ma-
chine, and cracked into still smaller pieces ; after
which latter process, it becomes of a size sufficiently
small for the operation of jigging.
To this end, a large wooden box filled with the
broken ore, and immersed in water, is affixed by a
chain to one end of a long and strong pole. The
bottom of the box is full of holes, and the pole is so
unequally divided on its balance upon an upright
post, that a small boy is enabled, by grasping the
opposite end, and continually jumping with his arms
above his head, to give the box a jigging motion
sufficiently violent to cause the heavier pieces con-
taining the ore, which here by the way is exceedingly
rich, to make its way to the bottom of the mass.
The aforesaid box holds two or three bushels of
crushed ore, whereof by the above ojjeration, by the
help of the water, the weight of the lead finally pre-
ponderates, and rests in a distinct layer below the
stone.
From the banks of the stream, where, by the way,
indications of rural industry are agreeably manifested,
by the exposure of pieces of home-made linen, newly
manufactured, on a bleaching ground, the Douglas
road again ascends for the distance of a mile and up-
wai'ds, till it attains, I think, its greatest elevation, all
the way to Ramsey. Here the road again winds
inland, and the mountainous aspect of the country
around becomes more and more perfect, as piles of
v.] MAUGHOLD CLIFFS. 69
rounded green hills, the extreme summit of which is
usually enveloped in cloud, though in height less than
eighteen hundred feet, rise one above another towards
the westward. On the east, wherever a view of the
sea is obtained, one is reminded by the bluff rugged
line of cliffs of the north coast of Ireland. From an
eminence, whence a gradual descent leads all the way
a mile and a half to Ramsey, the features of the
prospect comprising the expansive bay, the lofty
cliffs of Maughold head, and an extensive spread of
flat land upon an angular promontory below, bedecked
with neatly fenced and highly cultivated fields, are of
more than ordinary beauty.
Maughold cliffs, independent of their altitude and
size, which alone render them a distinguished feature
in the island, are otherwise worthy of insjjection,
bearing, in one particular especially, an extraordinary
character, — for the ground on their verge, instead
of being, as is usually the case, perfectly level, rises
so as to form an inclined plane, ascending towards
the sea; and thus appears as the dissevered base,
scanty remnant, and solitary memorial of a for-
mer chain of mountains, that perhaps in some
dreadful convulsion of nature were riven from their
foundations and precipitated into the sea. Whatever
the cause, the same j^eculiarity, if 1 be not mistaken,
is to be remarked in the cliffs adjoining the Giant's
Causeway in Ireland.
In an elevated situation, nearly at the extreme
summit of Maughold cliffs, the village of Kirk Maug-
hold, owing to the prevalence of a superstitious feeling
in the island, may be said to be a spot of especial
resort, as well as of the living, of the dead ; and
St. Maughold's well, the effect of whose waters is
70 ST. maughold's well. [ch.
supposed to be of a nature ratlier spiritual than tem-
poral, is a general point of attraction that people
visit in summer. The extent of the church-yard,
and the number of its tenants, indicate reliance
in the Saint's good offices, even after death,
and considering that the village, three miles from
Ramsey, whence a rude track leads from the
low land at the bottom, is on the top of a hill,
and that the appearances of a living population
consist only in a few straggling houses, 1 was
at a loss to conceive, on viewing this church-yard,
how and wh}"^ so many quiet heavy corpses had
been carried to such an inconvenient spot, till I
heard the traditionary legend relating to the spring.
My informant, a peasant, who undertook to lead me to
the well, told me that the water cured all disorders,
provided it were drank on the first Sunday in harvest,
on which day, he said, a multitude of people from all
parts collect every 3'ear for the purpose. On a
Danish cross which stands outside the church-yard,
were to be read, he added, all the particulars of its
history, and first and foremost, how St. Maughold
himself, in days of yore, galloped across the sea on
horseback, and at the bottom of the cliff, setting spurs
to his horse, caused him in a single bound to leap
clean to the top. Here being seized with thirst, the
horse, as he knelt to drink at the well, left an indented
raai'k of his knee on the stone, which impression re-
mains visible, he farther asserted, at the present
day. The said Danish cross, a fine relique of
antiquity, is covered with characters, which, though
to the unlearned unintelligible, are perfectly dis-
tinct and legible, whatever may be their import.
The well rises nearly on the verge of the highest
v.] TOWN OF RAMSEY. 71
cliff, and is defended by a porch formed of three
large, unhewn blocks of slate-stone. Within, the
water distils from above, drop by drop, through a
thick bed of bright green moss, into the aforesaid
stone basin ; whereupon I can testify that there
actually exists an indentation such as my companion
described, sufficient at any rate to prove, that sturdy
superstition can reconcile all manner of improbabili-
ties, even to finding a substitute in the knee of a
living horse for an iron tool.
The town of Ramsey is situated on the north-east-
ern base of the chain of mountains that stretch
diagonally from the north-east to the south-west,
nearly across the island ; and frequently on a sum-
mer's evening glow^ with a warmth of colouring
worthy of the pencil of Claude, as the wreathing
smoke, gilded by the rays of a setting sun, and re-
flecting the purple heather, ascends from the peaceful
cluster of clean white houses that nestle in their
bosom and compose the town below. In the fore-
ground the splendid bay forms a graceful curve,
the chord of whose arc from Maughold Head to
Craystyl Point, is at least six miles, and here an ex-
tensive spread of pure w'hite sand, and numerous
fishing boats continually in motion, embellish and
enliven the harbour.
The Liverpool and Glasgow steamers use the port
of Ramsey, as a place of call for passengers on their
voyage up and down, in preference to all other parts
of the island; nevertheless, such visits are exclusively
restricted to fine weather, nor is there at any time,
except by means of a boat, communication between
large vessels and the shore. As regards craft of two
hundred tons or thereabouts, some of which are built
72 JETTY. [CH.
in the town, at times only of the extreme height of
the tide, access can be had to the dock.
One place of accommodation for the use of small
boats, is singular, and of curious construction. It is
a sort of quay or jetty, formed altogether of slate-
stone, whereof the slabs, instead of as usual being
laid horizontal, are placed perpendicular, which
mode has been adopted by reason of the soft unsound
quality of the ground whereon the structure is built.
Thus the long vertical slabs, as the whole mass sinks
towards the middle, closely jam together, till the in-
verted arch thus formed is supported as it were by
abutments on each extremity. As this homely work
is not intended for the purposes of promenade, the
manner of constructing its surface is equally simple,
yet the ends of the slabs, merel}^ levelled rudely by
the hammer, afford a foothold infinitely more secure
and less slippery than any description of pavement
whatever. The Sulby river, the largest in the island,
rises seven miles distant in the mountains, and, ancle
deep at low water, and twenty or thirty yards in
breadth, here empties itself into the sea.
The interior of the town is clean, but the streets
are for the most part narrow, some indeed more so
than those of Douglas, and in many of the principal
thoroughfares, a man by the help of an ordinary walk-
ing stick, may touch both together the opposite
houses.
The inn, when I arrived, though a comfortable
house, was somewhat in a state of bustle and disorder.
A wedding had been celebrated the very same morn-
ing, which event had disturbed the equanimity of the
inmates ; and of the females especially, the services
were absolutely unattainable, by reason of their ex-
v.] A MANX WEDDING PARTY. 73
cited sympathies. The youthful bridegroom, attended
only by two young ladies, the bride and her brides-
maid, had crossed over from England a few days
before, by the Liverpool steam-boat, and here they
remained sojourners in the house during the inter-
vening period of delay. As the young ladies mutually
chaperoned each other, the young gentleman was
necessarily unremitting in his attentions towards both,
wherefore the second young lady's predicament, with
regard to strict propriety, was extremely awkward ;
one which required in fact no slight degree of matronly
experience ; for hers was the care in behalf of her
friend to guide the footsteps of youth amid the intri-
cate mazes of friendship, where the path meanders
dangerously among the precipices of love. The
parties, as 1 was infonned, were man'ied by special
license, which document in the Isle of Man costs
five pounds, and now, the ceremony having been
performed, they were taking refreshment, previous to
their departure, in the apartment which afterwards
was to be allotted to me.
While their equipage, a kind of two-horse vehicle,
was preparing, I had frequent opportunities, being
pro tempore in an outer room, as persons passed
backwards and forwards, of observing the young
people within, and upon these occasions, remarked
that the young ladies were always simjicring and
silent, while the gentleman sustained the brunt of
the conversation. The two former had a]iparently
some time since finished eating, while the latter was
completing his repast alone. To this end, a silk
handkerchief to serve as a napkin was spread on his
knees, and with fingers laden with a ])rofusion of
broad gold rings, he was mercilessly sucking the
VOL. II. E
74 A MANX WEDDING PARTY. [CH.
bones of a roast duck, and dragging them between
his teeth. Notwithstanding an operation so deroga-
tory to effect, he was still comfortably satisfied with
his own grace and eloquence, as extending a pair
of extremely long arms towards the ladies, who
kindly condescended to titter at every word he
uttered, he invariably returned suitable tokens of
obeisance, every action being accompanied with
redundancy of motion, and straight lines being
made curves on each trifling occasion, were it
only to reach across the table for a spoonful of
salt. Both arms he frequently crossed upon his
bosom, and then spreading them abroad with
Romeo-like gesticulation and force sufficient to
stem the waves of the Hellespont, he would spout
appropriate scraps of poetry, and afterwards gloat
amorously upon the bride. In personal appear-
ance he was not prepossessing, for he had re-
markably thick blubber lips, a mouth of enormous
calibre, full, prominent, light grey eyes, the right
one veering full two points from its neighbour, eye-
brows and eyelashes nearly white, and hair of the
lightest flaxen. And as if to give his countenance,
when he talked, the expression that nature had de-
nied, he had a facetious manner of causing the twisted
eye to vibi'ate and roll on its swivel. At last he led
his fair companions down stairs to the carnage, in
front of which were collected some half dozen ac-
quaintance, formed by reason of his easy sociable
manners even during this short matrimonial visit to
Ramsey ; and while, as the open vehicle departed,
he replied with significant nods and winks to the con-
gratulations of his male friends, the ladies, radiant in
blushes and bloom, smiled graciously to all, kissed their
v.] THE " EARL GREY " STAGE-COACH. 75
hands to the maid servants of the inn, and bowed to
the landlady.
On my return to Douglas, T secured a place thither
in a public carnage, not fairly to be called a stage-
coach, but a sort of nondescript vehicle or caravan,
somewhat like a baker's cart in fonn, with a door
behind, and the name "The Earl Grey " painted con-
spicuously in large red letters on a yellow body. Such
as it is, it works regularly between Ramsey and
Douglas, and up one day, down the next, performs
the journey throughout the whole year.
A few minutes before the hour of dejjarture, when I
repaired to the coach office, the preparations for
starting appeared at first sight most unusually tardy;
for so far from finding the horsekeepers and the cattle
ready at their posts, the carriage stood empty in the
street with a hind wheel out of order, and such was
the apathy among the neighbours upon making en-
quiry, that I might very reasonably have come to the
conclusion, thattheequipage belonged to nobody. The
coach-office was closed, and no one was present to
answer interrogatories, except a blacksmith, who had
doffed his coat, laid his box of tools on the ground,
and was lustily hammering upon the crazy wheel.
A pair of long-tailed cart horses, stood quietly devour-
ing their provender out of a basket ; and these
saturnine animals, having finished their repast, first
resting one hind leg and then the other, drooped their
noses drowsily to the ground, with eyes closed, and
motionless, otherwise than switching their tails now
and then at the bite of a fly, or twisting an ear back-
wards half way round at the clink of the hammer.
In every day life I am inclined to believe more
poetry exists than people imagine, for whether
E 2
76 THE '• EARL GREY " STAGE-COACH. [cH.
gnomes, sylj^hs, or fairies, ideal existences, or means
purely mortal be employed to pull the strings of the
puppets, companions of our progress, it matters not
one farthing, so long as we are doomed to remain
under invisible agency. In the present instance,
though no coachman was to be found, yet as the
blacl<smith hammered on at the wheel, and the pas-
sengers one after another began to arrive, it seemed at
all events probable that not only at any rate matters
were progressing somehow, but that also certain con-
trolling authorities existed somewhere, and in fact no
sooner had the blacksmith put the defective wheel in
order, than accordingly the said coachman forthwith
made his appearance. Without excuse or apology to
the passengers whom he had so long kept waiting, on
the contrary, he appeared in a portentous huiTj', and
behaved towards the latter precisely as if they them-
selves had been the cause of the delay.
Mr. Christian, the driver, though plain spoken, was
a civil man, remarkably decently dressed, like an
English small farmer, in an easy fitting, blue cloth
coat, a broad brimmed hat, and neat buttoned gaiters.
The jiassengers, who by this time were all ready, and
anxious to be let in, consisted of a young lady about
to return from a visit at Ramsey to her friends at Castle-
ton; a young Yorkshireman, away from home on a
tour of pleasure ; a rheumatic elderly man, whose legs
appeared to disadvantage in ribbed worsted stockings,
and his wife, an extraordinary fat woman, whom Mr.
Christian buttressed forwards, applying his shoulder
to her rear, while her husband vainly remonstrated
from within, that his shanks were not yet arranged
in decent order. All these persons were finally sealed in
the vehicle, and I was on the point of making a fifth, and
v.] A TALKATIVE LADY. 77
taliing post accordingly, when a lively, buxom lady,
with black roving eyes, apparently about thirty, and
somewhat nervous and fidgety wuthal, in a multitude
of terrors, moreover, lest the vehicle might have already
departed, made her appearance as another candidate,
and to her I immediately gave place. I then stepped
in lastly, making in all six persons closely dovetailed
together, when Mr. Christian immediately slammed
the door in its place, and mounting the box, whereon
sat also two other persons, whipped his cattle to the
extent of a slow, reeling trot, and bid adieu to the
town of Ramsey. A few minor arrangements with re-
gard to position, were indispensably necessary with
the last-mentioned lady, to whom I sat opposite, all
which were disposed of without demur or hesitation;
yet still was she in a fluster, and evidently embar-
rassed by reason of small packages to be arranged in
their places, and particularly one or other, which it
seemed w^as left behind. After fretting some time
and feeling about her person, rising sometimes from
her seat, and making sundry ejaculations, " dear me,"
she exclaimed, " my parasol, my parasol ; I'd rather
pay thirty shillings than lose my beautiful parasol ;"
and then, with extraordinary volubility of tongue, she
related in minute detail, all the particulars of the
parasol's history ; and from that subject she pro-
ceeded, talking incessantly to every body inclined to
listen, continually changing her topic, and returning
again to the lost parasol. Full twenty times before
we had gone the first three miles, did she specifically
declare that thirty shillings was the least possible
value of the favourite parasol. She said " she was
happy to quit the town of Ramsey, and surely
must die if obliged to remain in it ; 'twas enough
78 BENEVOLENCE ILL REWARDED. [CH.
to be once bom there, and now again, a single week,
the first visit after ten years' interval, had sickened
her of the place more than ever; the ' Isle of Man'
she continued, it certainly was, and a man sure
enough was he who effected her deliverance, but for
her part, she thought that the ' exile of woman,' was
a far better, and a more appropriate appellation."
This effusion of language had never at all failed
her, when, as we had completed about three miles on
our w^ay, an active, lightly-formed peasant girl, ap-
parently about fifteen years old, bounding after us as
gaily as a fawn, came evidently in direct pursuit of
our vehicle. The little nymph was dressed in a dark
blue camlet petticoat, with a plain a\ hite linen jacket,
the latter loosely confined by a string at the waist:
and thus equipped, had tripped along now full three
miles from Ramsey, and to the joy of the lady, as she
approached the door of the " Earl Grey," produced
to her delighted eyes an implement till then con-
cealed, namely, the highly valued, much lamented
parasol. The benevolence of the action, and the
grace wherewith it was performed, added charms to
a countenance naturally lovely, resplendent in rural
health, and replete with innocence that vainly re-
pressed an arch expression in her eyes of the desire
to create a surprise. As she turned on her heel,
enlivened by reward, and carrying away all that the
grateful lady gave, I thought I never saw a human
smile more truly pourtray a virtuous consciousness.
Acquitted of her errand, she skipped back on her way,
her airy step and jocund gait braced by pure joy
and light heartedness ; lighter still, nevertheless,
was the lady's bounty, who, in despite of her annun-
ciations regarding her parasol, and in recompense of
v.] BENEVOLENCE ILL-REWARDED. 79
the zeal and activity of her humble benefactress,
gave her,— readei-, what think you that she gave ? —
nothing at all but thanks. ^ *
On amving at Laxey, the delay of an hour was
necessary while the horses were baiting, which
period was expended by the passengers either in
walking about the village or in remaining at the inn.
Although I prefeiTed the former course, 1 nevertheless
walked in for a moment to take cognizance of the
apartment destined to our accommodation ; whereof
the floor was covered with plaster or cement, and the
style of things altogether that of an English village
ale-house. The fat elderly woman and her husband
had already commenced refreshment ; two Manx
fishennen, seated at a table in the room, were in a
state of prosing inebriation ; and the talkative lady,
after searching busily in her reticule, had at last ex-
tracted a bottle containing, 1 suppose, some mild
carminative.
Our pace dtrring the journey was about four miles
an hour, and to the period so expended, is also to be
added our delay at Laxey. While ascending the
acclivities Mr. Christian besought us to get out and
walk, to which request we acceded, including the
postman employed to carry the mail between Ram-
sey and Douglas, who had some time since joined us,
and standing on the step behind, clung on by his
elbow placed within the door, after the manner of the
cad of an omnibus.
CHAPTER VL
ISLE OF MAN.
A Ride from Ramsey to the Point of Ayre — The Horse Paddj'
— The Garden of the Island — Fine Crops — Extreme Fer-
tility of Soil — LuxuriaiTt Furze — Bruising Mills — Kirkbride —
The Point of Ayre— Jurby Point— The Village— The
Church and Church-yard — A Man of Leisure — The Minister'^s
Grave — The Bishop's Residence — The Curragh — Turf —
Fossil Remains — Kirkmichael — Glenwillan — Beautiful Glen
— Rivulet — Iron Spring — Ride across the Mountains to
Douglas, by Kirkbraddan — An ill-placed Residence,
The better to proceed at ease and at ray leisure to
the Point of Ayre, I selected what is called a respect-
able animal, from among the few horses to be had
on hire in the town of Ramsey ; and as the creature
was good looking, although undoubtedly very old, I
considered it useless to trouble the owner with ques-
tions as to his other qualifications. 1 simply enquired
of the hostler, then leaning with his whole weight on
the opposite side, my left foot being already in the
stirru]), whether the horse were not given to bite.
The man replied, unhesitatingly, "No;" but the
horse, a game, ticklish, decayed hunter, commonly
known in the town by the name of " Paddy," by a
certain sly, sleepy, intelligible expression of his eye,
evidently contradicted the hostler's assertion. The
hint being sufficient to put me on my guard, I ac-
cordingly took a firmer hold of the rein as I threw
my leg over his back, then immediately set spurs to
his sides, and departed in a canter. I observed a
€H. Vr.] THE GARDEN OF THE ISLAND. 81
smile on the people's faces as I rode along, and the
boys especially exclaimed to one another, " There
goes Paddy," as the steed, occasionally shaking his
head, switching his tail till the air whistled, and ele-
vating his rump every stride, more inclined a great
deal to kick than to gallop, proceeded in a curiously
tilting pace, that participated of the nature of both
movements. However, a smart stroke of a whip
on the withers is the proper remedy on such occa-
sions, and never fails, as regards a kicking horse's
posteriors, to effect the thing to be done — namely,
to increase horizontal, at the expense of vertical
motion.
1 had a remarkably agreeable ride, notwithstanding
the inauspicious commencement, over a road soft and
sandy, and particularly suited to the hoofs of my
long-reached, free-going animal, through a country
laden with such heavy crops, as really might tempt
a farmer to make choice of this part of the Isle of
Man for an agricultural establishment. In fact the
aforesaid chain of mountains divides the country into
two parts, exhibiting a very remarkable difference as
regards the soil ; the whole of the southern portion,
with the exception of the alluvial tract in the vicinity
of Castleton before mentioned, being so poor as to
be incapable of repaying, more than to a moderate
extent, the labours of the farmer, and the northern
portion, on the contrary, consisting of red fertile
mould, a mixture of marl and sand. This northern
portion has consequently not undeservedly obtained
the appellation of " the garden of the island ;" and
here the farmers use little amendment other than the
pure marl that abounds beneath the surface. The ex-
traordinary improvement in the aspect of the crops,
E 3
82 LUXURIANT FURZE. [CH.
compared with those in all other parts that I had
visited, consisting at present — the season being
autumn — of luxuriant clover and rye grass, and beds
of potatoes, was such as to cause the most pleasing im-
pressions. The spontaneous abundance of yellow
trefoil and white clover growing upon the earthen em-
bankments wherewith the fields are divided, is par-
ticularly striking; and I also remai'ked the unusual
stature of the furze plants in the hedge that crowns
the summit, the spring shoots being, every where in
the Isle of Man, more like those of a young fir tree
than of an ordinary plant. A dwarf species, called
Manx furze, grows on the hills in a compact matted
mass, that spreads like thick moss over several acres of
ground in a plot, and is so springy, that a man piay
walk without much difficulty across the surface.
Although at every step he may sink in up to his
knees, the plant pressed by the foot to the earth,
by its elastic reaction, rises again immediately
unbroken. Both sorts are used in the winter as
provender for cattle, the thorns being previously
crushed by a machine adapted for the purpose, which
implements, of simple construction, are merely a pair
of wooden mallets, worked by a small water-wheel.
Of these there are many among the streamlets in the
mountains.
The cliffs on this part of the coast are of very con-
siderable elevation. Hence the eye commands an
extensive prospect of apparently low, level country,
whereof in point of fact the laud lies sufficiently
high for the purposes of drainage ; the whole, more-
over, embellished with a profusion of good-sized
timber trees.
The little sequestered village of Kirkbride, about a
VI.] KIRKBRIDE. 83
couple of miles distant from the Point of Ayre,
stands contiguous to a chain of tiny mountains,
whose undulating surfaces, about their bases and
amid the hollows, afford for the lowly cabin of the
peasant, wherewith the landscape is here and there
chequered, unusually picturesque situations. These
cottages or cabins resemble in form, though belter
appointed, those of the poorer classes in Ireland, or
the Highlands of Scotland. The village occupies an
eminence well clad with trees ; among these are thriv-
ing apple orchards, ash, and sycamore, besides elder
of unusual dimensions. One little dwelling, even in
this lonely spot, as is the case in almost every village
in the island, is set apart as a day school for chil-
dren.
From the village, a circuitous track leads by a
regular descent, through a patch of small, strongly
fenced enclosures, to the narrow spit of land,
whereon is erected the lighthouse at the Point of
Ayre; than which territory a more desert-looking
spot cannot readily be bi-ought to the imagination.
The whole of this region is a ban-en waste of land,
which day by day, and year after year, receives in-
cessant accumulation from the ocean, whereby the
surface is marked by those bold irregularities, — those
undulations, fissures, and chasms, — that create an
appearance as if it were the bed of the sea deserted
by a deluge. On this spot I saw abundance of
plover ; and as I walked my horse along at a foot
pace, 1 observed many of the newly hatched young,
around which the old birds anxiously hovered, con-
tinually resorting to a well-known artifice; and in
the hope of alluring an enemy to a false pursuit,
limping tenderly away with a flagging wing, as if
they were lame.
84 JURBY rOINT. [CH.
A line of shingle, whose boulders are above the
ordinary size, and thrown up by the sea to a very
extraordinary altitude, together with here and there
a range of low broken cliffs, increasing gradually in
height, forms the line of coast from hence to Jurby
Point. Inland, a scanty bush of heather or of furze
may be observed, at rare intervals, to rear its stunted
growth from a bed of sand mixed with shingle.
From Jurby Point, a stormy headland, — a range of
lofty cliffs extends in a continuous unbroken line, as
far as the eye can reach to the southward, where, in
the extreme distance, the faint shadowy outline of
Peel Castle may be traced in clear weather. The
cliffs, composed of red marl and sand, are exposed to
the continual assaults of the sea, which here making
inroads on a soft crumbling material, is demolishing,
with considerable rapidity, their foundation. The
soil meanwhile is so exceedingly fertile, that rich
tufted white clover gi*ows wild to their very verge,
and so thickly matted and springy, that, like the dwarf
furze before mentioned, the elastic carpet rises again
immediately under the foot buried beneath it, without
leaving the slightest mark or vestige of its pressure.
Not far removed from the Point, in an exposed
and bleak situation, are planted the small village and
church of Jurby, whither, as the sea approximates
more and more every day, it is probable that the
whole, ere the lapse of many years, will be swallowed
by its billows.
Having arrived at the village, I made fast the horse
Paddy to a stout rail fence, intending to proceed on
foot to the aforesaid Point, and the church-yard.
While engaged in the former occupation, being
accosted by an inhabitant, who politely offiered to
bear me company, I acceded to his offer, and we
VI.] THE minister's GRAVE. 85
walked along together, while the kindly countenance
of my companion, and his perpetual flow of good
spirits, enlivened the short time 1 passed in his so-
ciety. He possessed, he said, a limited independence ;
and it was easy to perceive, by his easy gesture and
action, that he was a man of leisure, for not only did
he appear glad to render service to a stranger, but
ha]ipy to find for himself a little to do. Ruddy in his
face and round in his person, of breadth nearly
equal to length, his activity withal was rather re-
markable ; for by a harlequin leap, between a jump
and a roll, he cleared the ditch and bank fences on
the way, contriving every time, one could scarcely
tell how, invariably to alight on his legs. He re-
peated this feat half a score times and more, as on
our way to the Point we crossed several small fields
divided by the aforesaid double ditch and bank,
the latter so wide that a cart might be driven thereon
without difficulty.
We walked to the church-yard, where inscriptions
proclaim the welcome of many a drowned mariner to
his last home ; and here, among strangers and his
own parishioners, a late clergyman of the village
takes everlasting repose. He was long before his
death, my companion informed me, a suffering,
infimi man, but being stout at heart, and devoted to
his calling, the more helpless the more militant he
grew against increasing age and infirmities. In
sickness and in sorrow he was always at his post,
even to leave his bed to go to the pulpit ; and when
no longer able to walk, so long as he could read the
liturgy, rather than be absent on the Sunday, was
wheeled to church in a common barrow. Like a
hero in battle, the poor minister of Jurby, to the
86 A MAN OF LEISURE. [CH.
last hour of his life, did his Christian duty : like
a hero while living, when assailed by mortal troubles,
he vigorously repelled their assault ; and like a hero
now dead, he lies buried on a spot where the four
winds of heaven dash fiercely upon his unsheltered
sepulchre.
My new acquaintance, after we had passed through
the church-yard to Jurby Point, accompanied me
to the spot where 1 had left my horse tied to the
rail. Anxious for occupation of any sort, he now
proceeded with great nimbleness to tighten the girth,
in despite of a caution I thought proper to offer, and
the steady, oblique glance to boot with which Paddy,
as if fixing his fancy on a particular spot for a
mouthful, intently regarded his fat ribs : luckily,
however, his rashness was attended with no disaster.
I now bent my way towards the village of Kirk-
michael, through a country of extraordinary fertility,
along a flat, even road, whereon the horse Paddy, in
whose groggy hoofs the blood was now in full circu-
lation, cantered along most gaily. Within a mile of
the village is the residence of the bishop, a fact
which amounts to a proof, probably, that the spot of
all others is not the worst in the island. The edifice
is plain and unpretending, situated at the termina-
tion of an avenue of sycamore trees, adjoining the
main road from Ramsey.
The diversity of scenery within the small peri-
phery of the Isle of Man, is really extraordinary,
whether one proceeds along the line of coast, or
travels inland. The attention of the traveller is by
turns allured to the bluff rock — the shingled or the
sandy beach — the black, angry, wave-beaten shoal —
or the wide-spreading, hospitable bay. Already I
VI.] THE CUKRAGH. 87
had traversed mountain and moor, together with
extensive tracts of rich arable and pasture, and lastly
I encountered some thousands of acres of deep and
spongy morass, as pure bog land as is to be met
with in any part of the kingdom. A great part of
the country, inland, between Kirkmichael and Jurby,
consists of a bed of pure black peat, distinguished
provincially by the appellation of "The CuiTagh,"
the whole surface of which is laid down to pasture,
and drained by clean even-cut ditches, with a
bank in the middle, surmounted by a thriving alder
hedgerow. These ditches discharge themselves
into a main watercourse about twelve feet wide,
whence the drainage is so perfect, that there is not,
as I have elsewhere observed relating to the whole
island, even here, either lake, pond, or deposit. In
those places where turf is dug for the purpose of
fuel, it is cut in layers of a yard and a half, or there-
abouts, deep, and being black and soft, is moulded
into form previous to being carted, by the hand ;
and here, only a few years after a thick stratum of
the surface has been thus removed, the soil again
becomes covered by a thick coat of herbage. Abund-
ance of bog wood is furnished from this morass, and
fossil remains of animals have also frequently been
discovered. I saw in the possession of a medical
gentleman in Douglas, a fine specimen of horns, stu-
pendous in size, of an animal of the deer species,
and of which I believe another pair, the counter-
part of these, is presei-ved in Edinburgh Museum, the
gift of the late Duke of Athol to the establi.shment.
The road from Ramsey, after proceeding a con-
siderable distance inland, again approaches the sea
at Kirkmichael, which little town and its neighbour-
88 GLENWILLAN. [CH.
hood, including the rural village of Glenwillan, both
fronting the sea, and seated at the base of an amphi-
theatre of mountains, are among the most beautiful
spots in the island ; especially the neat fishing ham-
let just alluded to — for so it is at present, consisting
merely of a few fishermen's houses in the bosom of
the glen — is entitled to that distinction. Hence a
small rivulet, descending from the mountains in the
rear, trickles along a broad level plain below, so pro-
tected by the aforesaid mountains on the one part,
and the precipitous banks of the ravine, that hei'e
diverge rapidly towards the sea, on the other, that
the extensive space between of pasture land, as level
as a bowling-green, may well and deservedly be called
the valley of shelter and sunshine. I have no doubt,
since a few ornamental cottages have already been
built, and a small spring hereabouts is strongly im-
pregnated with iron, that, in the natural course of
things, ere the lapse of many years, this situation will
be chosen as the site of a watering-place, and a point
of summer resort.
The banks of the glen are composed of the same
rich mixture of red marl and sand before mentioned
at Jurby, and are covered also with equally luxuriant
vegetation. In form, they are unusual and extraor-
dinary, for the cause of which T will not pretend to
account: however, the ground above consists of a
parcel of small undulating hillocks, whose tops to-
wards the verge of the glen are, as it were, shaven
off, so as to form so many flat tabular sin-faces, that
precisely resemble the remains of an ancient fortifica-
tion. A pleasing opportunity is here afforded, from
many a sunny nook among the sloping sides of the
ravine, with reference to the course of the rivulet that
VI.] A MOUNTAIN RIDE. 89
meanders below, of reflecting, that, notwithstanding
its diminutive size, it has probably, aided by the
hand of time, been a mighty agent in the formation
of the surrounding scenery. Descending through
succeeding ages along its narrow bed, year after year,
over a surface of tender, crumbling mould, wearing
its way, by degrees, through stratum after stratum,
and forming for itself continually a lower and a lower
level, the earth meanwhile has risen at the sides in fan-
tastic fragments, of magnitude continually increasing.
The parent stream renders these still larger and
larger, by gradually undermining their bases; and,
finally, remains itself a mere streak in the landscape,
compared with the above mentioned grander features
of its own creation.
From Kirkmichael I rode to Douglas by a moun-
tain track, or bridle-path, that leads hence in a line
nearly direct across the summit of the hills, and
strikes upon the Peel Town road at Kirkbraddan.
Another route to Douglas across these mountains
extends from Sulby four miles from E-amsey; also
by the way of Kirkbraddan. I had a pleasant ride
over green hills, where the spread of sheep walks is
so extensive, as to promise, under a proper grazing
system, a good return for the farmer. The few sheep
that at present occupy these heights, though hardy
in their nature, cannot be expected, thus living from
generation to generation without a sufficiency of
winter keep, to thrive, and are consequently a lean,
half-starved race. Packs of the red-billed chough
scream in concert on the dreary waste, thereby in-
flicting a greater appearance of desolation than ought,
under favourable circumstances, to attach to the spot.
90 A MOUNTAIN KIDE. [CH.
I saw no good stock of any description while in the
Isle of Man ; neither is it probable, I think, that the
case will be otherwise while the land continues to be
tilled by the present mixed breed of agiiculturists —
half farmer, half fisherman; he who, possessing a
source of profit in another direction, is thei'eby in-
duced to devote a part only of his time, care, and
capital thereupon. Formerly, a peculiar breed of
Manx pony was in high estimation; but of late
years, even these animals have dwindled away, and
are not to be found. I ought to make an exception
with regard to a particularly fine race of pig, almost,
I think, indigenous; at least I have never seen in
England any of this marked character. At different
places here on the western coast I saw three or four,
weighing each upwards of twenty score, and exqui-
site in form ; possessing length and depth of carcase,
smallness of bone, diminutive legs, and a broad
shoulder, the back remarkably hollow, the belly
touching the ground, the ears pointing forwards, and
the small nose like that of a mole. In short, they
have the form of the Chinese pig, with increased
length and size, and a remarkably long-tufted stern.
1 had considerable difficulty in finding my way by
the aforesaid track, by reason of meeting neither
traveller, inhabitant, nor directing post in the way:
of the latter especially, there is, I suppose because
wood is scarce, no such thing in any part of the
island.
Halfway, nearly on the extreme summit of the
ridge, is a dreary, chilly dwelling, very deserv-
edly deserted by its inhabitants, at present repre-
sented by an aged man and woman, whose presence
is hardly sufficient to cheer and preserve from dew
VI.] AN ILL-PLACED RESIDENCE. 91
the damp cold walls; nevertheless, the house is one
of some pretension, surrounded by a belt of plant-
ation. The trees, such has been the little care
and heed on the part of the proprietor to aspect and
situation, that, firs though they be, they actually
refuse to grow. The aforesaid domain, evidently
intended for a gentleman's residence, but obstinately
placed, in defiance of the elements, in one of the most
disadvantageous positions in the whole island, is
called Ingebrack, from a village of a few houses of
that name lying a little below on the southern side
of the hill. It is a singular example of the mistakes
that people are apt to commit, and frequently most
unnecessarily into the bargain, in the choice of a
suitable spot for building.
CHAPTER VII.
STAFFA, lONA, AND THE CALEDONIAN CANAL.
Steam Communication from Liverpool to Glasgow— Packet
Agent at Ramsey — Departure — Boarding a Steamer at Night
— Sickness — Mull of Galloway — Ailsa Craig — The Clyde —
The Broomielaw — Inland Navigation — The Maid of Morven
Steamer — The Vessel en Deshabille — Voyage to Greenock —
The Kyles of Bute — Lochgoilhead — Creenin Canal — Korry-
vrekan — Island of Eisdale — Arrive at Oban.
The people at Douglas know, or care to know very
little of the proceedings of the Liverpool steamers,
that, twice a-week, wind and weather permitting,
call for passengers at the sister port of Ramsey, on
their way to Glasgow. Having made up my mind
to travel by this conveyance, such were the obstacles
thrown in my way with regard to information, when
I enquired particulars at Douglas, that I was well
nigh dissuaded from undertaking the voyage alto-
gether. However, since contingencies so frequently
control our comfort, and combine to retard our pro-
gress through life, any thing, to my mind, is better
than a retrograde movement; therefore, I was averse
to the counsel of an individual long resident in the
island, who anxiously laboured to persuade me to
return whence I came, and re-embark at Liverpool.
Finally, I resolved to go and wait the arrival of a
vessel at Ramsey, under all the chances of meeting
with disappointment.
As the hour of arrival of the vessel off the port is
usually in the middle of the night, I departed accord-
CK. VII.] PACKET AGENT AT RAMSEV. 93
iiigly the preceding day, and took up my quarters
under the auspices of the landlord of the inn, who,
besides the functions of his hostelry at Ramsey, is
entrusted by the steam packet proprietors at Liver-
pool with the agency of their establishment.
Upon enquiry, I immediately learnt that the pack-
ets, with an exception in case of rough weather, are
regular and punctual in their visits; in fact, they
arrive usually between the hours of midnight and
two in the morning, lay to, fire a gun, hoist a light,
and the passengers go on board from the shore in a
boat. Five or six other passengers were already
waiting in the house, all of whom had received inti-
mation that little time would be allowed for prepara-
tion in the morning; however, they were told that a
look-out would be had for the vessel, and at least
sufficient notice given for departure. It was lucky 1
paid little heed to the latter comfortable assurance;
on the contrary, I disposed of myself and luggage so
as to be ready to start on an alarm at five minutes'
warning; and, after having retired to my apartment
at the top of a narrow flight of stairs, where all the
doors in the same passage were immediately conti-
guous to one another, at an early hour all the inmates
of the house were silent in repose.
According to appointment, at two o'clock in the
morning sure enough, or thereabouts, up stairs hur-
ried the landlord, vociferating all the way, as if the
house were on fire, and flames bursting out of the
windows. " Get up ! get up ! all of ye," he said ;
" vou'll be too late — the packet's come — she has
hove to — be down directly, or you'll lose your pas-
sage!" Then, thumping stoutly with his fist at every
body's door, he presented a light to the proffered
94 PEPARTURE. [CH.
candle-end of each, ran down stairs again at the risk
of breaking his neck, and thence disappeared out of
the house, on his way to the beach. Thin partitions
now began perpetually to creak, and the barefooted,
newly risen from their beds, stamped heavily on the
floor : some yawned, — others grumbled ; but almost
every one ejaculated either a want or a wish. One
had lost a shoe, another had got a wrong boot, and
the tallow stump of a third was crackling in the
socket. No one was in the way to render assistance,
and the landlord's emphatic injunction rang in the
ears of all. For my part, determined to take the best
possible care of myself, I locked my door, snuffed
my candle, set to work in right earnest, and in five
minutes was ready on the landing-place. Thence I
strode down stairs, out of doors, and away in the
dark to the sea-shore, where, at the end of the jetty,
a stiff rowing-boat, manned by three or four stout
sailors, lay ready to receive us. In a few minutes
the whole of the passengers had arrived ; the rowers
had taken their places; one by one the former stepped
in, staggering and tumbling into their seats ; the
cockswain held on, tugging hard at the boat hook;
and the phosphoric waves splashed heavily, like
molten silver, o\er the boat's bows. Some people
now sat upon wet boards, others on dry; the
luggage was all on board; the cockswain pushed
away from the jetty; the boat was trimmed; the oars
set to work ; and a dim lanthom at the end of a boat-
hook, a mere glow-worm in the dark, now marked
the progress of our skiff through the waves towards
the gallant steamer, whose resplendent blue light
softly blazed in the distance like a little moon. On
approaching the steamer, a hoarse grunting voice
VII.] BOARDING A STEAMER AT NIGHT. 95
from above immediately greeted our arrival; a rope
flung on board was quickly caught and made fast;
hauling lustily thereon, in despite of rolling and
heaving and hissing, we swang round against the
vessel's huge black side, mounted the ladder, while
the men still held on, and the luggage was taken on
board; and then the toppling boat being again adrift,
the steam was set on, and the vessel made progress
on her way.
Few locomotive operations are more disagreeable
than thus boarding a large steamer at sea in the mid-
dle of the night, particularly since the traveller, con-
strained to passive performance in the drama of life,
feels dismally conscious that he no more contributes
to the energies that propel him on his way, than one
of his own ti'unks or portmanteaus. He stands, as
it were, an interloper on board among men and things,
faces that he never saw before, and whose outline he
is unable to distinguish, and even deprived of the
privilege of participating on equal terms with the
passengers below in comfortable or uncomfortable
sleep. Besides, the animal spirits, in despite of the
))hilosophy of the mind, are prone at all times to re-
sent capricious usage, either overflowing by their ac-
celerated torrent the tranquil and pleasing images
that fancy before had created, or, like a spent rocket
deprived of its projectile force, falling to a lower
])oint than whence they rose. Happy is man at any
time to renounce vain-glorious notions of self-import-
ance; and even as a being of the earth is overwhelmed
among the magnitudes of creation, so does the land-
lubber find himself ten times more small when on
board a steam-boat.
Hitherto I had not exchanged a word with the
96 SICKNESS. [CH.
captain or any other individual. The former was
lonelily pacing the deck enveloped in a thick cloak and
cap, the lappets pulled down over his ears ; the
man at the wheel was silent and still, and like
myself all the rest had withdrawn to one solitary
spot or other. There I sat reclining rather discon-
solately upon one of the benches, till the revolving
light of the point of Ayre faded away in the distance,
the grey tint of the morning began to appeal', and
finally, the paddles of our steamer thumped the waves
of the Mull of Galloway. Here the boisterous heav-
ings of the ocean, counteracted by the stupendous
engine's power, inflicted every plank and beam of the
vessel with a vibratory motion, while inexorable
old Neptune whispered dismal forebodings in the
ear of every fresh-water sailor, doomed now to
undergo the worst of mortal trials and suflering.
Tickling the inwards with his trident, all intestine
matters were forthwith turned directly topsy-turvy,
as the little Tritons, claiming the usual tribute for the
fishes, remorselessly played their gambols in people's
stomachs, and scampered upwards, and then down
again like a riotous regiment of cavalry. In sheer
mercy to the victims, kind pity at last, seated on the
god's green locks, accelerated the awful catastrophe ;
thus hurling the assailants, disgorged pas de charge,
helter skelter into their native element.
This troublesome portion of the voyage from Liver-
pool to Glasgow, where the struggle of conflicting
currents torments the waves with perpetual agi-
tation, being once passed, the remainder of the
passage may be described as a smooth w^ater ex-
cursion ; in fact the sea was as calm all the rest
of the w^ay as the Thames at Southend. In case
VII.] THE CLYDE. 97
it were possible to compensate a traveller for the
pain of sea-sickness by the splendour of a marine or
inland landscape, it is here within the British do-
minions ; where the changing horizon displays every
variety of mountain scenery, and magnificent features
of land and water in the freedom of range and dis-
tance, create in the mind an impression of trans-
atlantic magnitude. I was particularly reminded,
especially about the entrance of the Clyde, of the
regions of the great St. Lawrence. The towering
Ailsa Craig, a vast pyramid rising from the ocean,
long rested a point for the steersman whereon to
shape his course ; then skirting its base, we left it
far astern, and while the sun was yet high, entered
the noble estuary.
Making rapid progress up the river, we rounded
that angular point where, upon the banks of the
Clyde, at this spot changing its direction with a bold
and sudden sweep, stands the town of Greenock.
Henceforward the diversity of the landscape pre-
sented to the view one uninterrupted, moving pano-
rama, teeming with objects to amuse the senses, and
make manifest the industry and opulence of the
country. Hence, every half hour in the day, steam-
ers regularly ply with passengers to Glasgow ; others
of unusual breadth, and uncouth build, fashioned for
the express purpose of towing, dragging after them
with powerful grasp three and more reluctant
merchantmen lashed to their stern, move onwards at
the rate of seven or eight miles an hour through the
water. And lastly, besides small vessels passing to
and fro of every descriiDtion, occasionally a steamer
of first-rate magnitude divides the cloven river like a
spouting whale in the sea. The artificial means, by
VOL. II. F
9a THE BROOMIELAW. [CH.
stone embankments and otherwise everywhere re-
sorted to, to improve the channel of the river; and the
steam scows with labovning buckets continually
scooping mud from the bottom to deepen its bed,
are among the many sights that display the vigilance
and energy of commercial enterprize, whereby a
river naturally shallow and prone to overflow the
banks, is held subservient to the purposes of navi-
gation, and retained by human science within a nar-
rower boundary.
A person indeed must be fastidious, if not content
with the excellent arrangements carried into effect on
the quays and landing places for the disembarkation
of passengers and luggage, at Glasgow. For my
own part, my chief reason for coming to the city
being in point of fact for the purpose of getting out
of it, I had sufficient cause for congratulation in the
effective services of a mild and intelligent stew'ard,
and porters remarkable for their fidelity. And inas-
much as, to be quietly lodged, civilly treated, and
readily supplied with local information, are the main
points required by a traveller, so here of all places in
the world he has the means of being gratified in all
these particulars. The very possibility is agreeable,
being in any place whatever, to be able to leave it at
will, were it only once in the twenty-four hours, at
the signal of the mail-guard's horn, to take post by
his side, and for better for worse, to flee far away, in
case one so wills, or let it alone. Multitudinous here
are the points of peregrination, not only by long
established lines of beaten roads, but over parts of
the country arduous formerly to explore, but now di-
vested of their natural obstacles by the pow'er of
steam. The windows in the agents' houses in the
VII.] THE MAID OF MORVEN STEAMER. 99
Broomielaw, and the walls into the bargain, are made
patchwork by the numerous sliding boards in pannels,
that serve to render information to the public of the
departure of the various steamers from the port, and
being easily moveable, are shifted accordingly at
every successive change of the home navigation. In
silence and at leisure, even without wasting a word in
the way of enquiry, an individual may here deter-
mine a projected course, and gratify his feelings,
without further labour and pains than stepping on
board the chosen bark, by swimming as it were with
the crowd along the current, and marking the pro-
gress of improvement, inch by inch, through the
country.
Two lines of travel particularly present themselves
to his notice. One dii'ect to Oban, and thence by
the Caledonian canal to Inverness ; the other by the
same route as far as Oban, and thence to the town of
Tobermory, the Cave of Staffa, and the ruins at lona
in the western Hebrides. Both in their turn of the
above routes I resolved to pursue accordingly, and to
this end engaged a passage on board the Maid of Mor-
ven steamer, which vessel departs regularly on her
way twice a week from Glasgow. Arrangements are
made by the proprietors on these occasions, to afford
to travellers an opportunity of changing their route
at will from Oban ; which place, the Maid of Morven,
her sister steamer, moving in an opposite direction,
and a third vessel that plies to the western Hebrides,
make their point of rendezvous. The three captains
contrive to meet as nearly as possible to noon at
Oban, and thence also, after making their interchange
of passengers, and completing other arrangements,
depart at the same time to their different desti-
f2
100 THE MAID OF MORVEN STEAMER. [CH.
nations. Progress also may be made as far as Oban by
way of Inverary, which route a stage-coach performs
over a rough and mountainous road ; however, I pre-
ferred going the whole way by the Maid of Morven.
In due time, that is to say on the morning of de-
parlure, I had reason to know by experience that I
had formed a too flattering picture of the ensuing
voyage, and certainly I did feel at the moment when
I stepped on board the vessel at the quay, a sensa-
tion of chilling disappointment. Placards and pane-
gyrics everywhere set forth in the most flattering
colours the delights of the expedition, and above all
I expected at least to meet with persons, whose
notions sympathised with my own as regarded a
mutual i^arty of pleasure. The poetic appellation
" Maid of Morven," naturally created in the mind the
semblance of a craft such as the lord maj^or of Lon-
don's barge, or that of Cleopatra, an airy swan-like
galley, stealing through the balmy air, amid the wild
land of mountain and of song, and bearing on her
gilded decks fair woman's sylph-like form, her coun-
tenance melting to the harp's thrilling cords, and
yielding up an elevated soul to the soft witchery of
music. But, alas ! in the estimate of fancy and reality,
it little matters, whether the one wings inordinately
high its upward flight, or whether the other descends
proportionally low ; therefore I will, as regards the
Maid of Morven, simply describe the state in which
I found hei\
At half-past eight o'clock in the morning, after
making way with much difliculty across two or three
other vessels that lay nearer the quay, I finally suc-
ceeded, by walking along a rough plank, in getting on
board the steamer. The morninff was more than
VII.] THE VESSEL EN DESHABILLE. 101
usually cold for the time of year, and a stiff gale blew
steadily, directly ahead of our course, up the river.
So far was unfortunate. When told I was on board
the Maid of Morven, I could hardly give credit to
the information, such was the scene of dirt and con-
fusion, such the quantity of packages, and the mob of
owners wrangling about stowage, that disturbed the
thoroughfare. A few quarter-deck passengers mean-
while stood disconsolately regarding each other, as
if lamenting the untoward fate that had brought
them together, each unable for a moment to stand
still, without being molested, or molesting others.
A multitude of poor folks from the Highlands,
busily arranging their own property, jabbered to-
gether in Erse so loudly and fluently, that the captain,
unless shouting at the full extent of his lungs, was
unable to make himself heard. The Maid of Morven
was a very Cinderella in her working dress, as black
as a Newcastle collier, and crammed full till she
rolled with stoi'es and packages of every description.
There were sacks of oatmeal and barley, sugar-hogs-
heads, crates, deal cases, trunks and band-boxes,
stoves, frying-pans, scythes, hoes, and sickles ; besides
all sorts of agricultural implements and hardware.
Among the fore-deck passengers were lads and lasses
from the mountains, shepherds with long poles, and
plaids folded across their shoulders ; and especially,
as is usual among crowds imder the most forbidding
circumstances, plenty of mothers with young children.
When the hour of departure, protracted to an un-
usual period, at last aiTived, the authority of the
captain was seriously exerted to oblige the shore-
people to conclude their leave-taking and quit the
vessel. Several, as no other argument would sufficej
10;2 VOYAGE TO GREENOCK. [CH.
he finally pushed out by the head and shoulders.
When we began to move, it was at once evident
tlie vessel was grievously ill-trimmed and top-heavy;
in fact she reeled and swung from side to side, as if
really about to rest on her beam-ends ; whereupon
the captain filled his nostrils with snuff, disposed of
tlie crew in the way of equilibrium, and placed heavy
plugs of iron on the deck to serve as ballast. In spite
of all these measures, always a heavy mover
through the water, and furnished with an engine
weak in proportion to her dimensions, she was
considerably weighed down by the head, and sensi-
bly quivered by the concussion of the waves. Mean-
while the more lively craft overtook us with the ut-
most facility, as we tardily weathered the head swell,
and others meeting us witli wind and tide in their
favour, flew upwards before the gale with incon-
ceivable rapidity ; a confused semblance of forms
and features in a row along the bulwarks, joint pro-
perty, as it were, of a string of tall, upright, staring
figures, ranged in order for inspection.
Four hours of toil and trouble were expended on the
way to Greenock, and there, fiist to the quay we re-
mained another full hour, while the exchanging of
passengers, the shifting the cargo, embarkation and
altercation proceeded as strenuously as before. In
one place knots of men stood wrangling together
without an ostensible object ; in another, bales and
packages were handed from one to another without
apparent presiding authority, and in every direction,
coils of rope were flung across the deck with no heed
to bystanders. We were hustled by porters, plagued
by bare-legged children with baskets of "berries;"
absolutely without the enjoyment of a single mo-
yil.] VOYAGE TO GREENOCK. 103
merit's security, or a dry spot whereon to stand or
sit down ; and finally, a rampant steamer alongside
belched black smoke and cinders on board in a con-
tinued cloud, whereat the Maid of Morven, hissing as if
to cool her impatience, bespattered the passengers'
clothes with her spare steam. Altogether, with the
sounds of puffing, blowing, and panting of the engine,
and the sights of ashes, fire, and smoke, ours for the
present was the den of the salamander, or the Cylops'
cave.
Matters however, fortunately, had actually arrived
at the worst, and as it frequently happens in the
affairs of life, they afterwards began to mend. Cla-
mour had subsided ; preparations were made for
departure ; the hoarse voice of our noble captain
croaked forth a pleasing mandate, and the tinkling
bell forthwith confirmed the joyful tidings. Once
more we Avere actually under weigh, and once again
in the niiddle of the stream, the Maid of Morven
pressed the waves with her swelling bosom
From the bottom of the Clyde old Neptune looked
upwards and smiled Literally, the aspect of
the weather during our detention at Greenock had
undergone a total change. The air became mild, the
wind lulled, and the sun, lastly, from behind a dense
curtain of cloud, enlivened us by his appearance.
The late vigorous proceedings with regard to the
cargo, had not a little improved our general accom-
modation ; families in groups collected on the fore-
castle — people were provided with seats — children
ceased to cry — women employed themselves with
their infants ; the whole after-part of the vessel was
now in decent order, and the captain, having time to
104 KYLES OF BUTE. [CH.
spare, willingly bestowed attention on all his pas-
sengers.
The remainder of the day was made cheerful by
incessant changes of scenery, as, passing through a
tortuous channel, each moment placed the various
objects in a different position, thus embellishing the
landscape with ever -varying tints and outline.
Meanwhile we glanced along in our course from
point to point, peacefully as the shadows of clouds
on the distant hills. The whole way from Rothsay,
through the Kyles of Bute, a series of striking
images appeared one after another. Sometimes we
found ourselves among broken islands, scattered
abroad as it were at random in the ocean, at others
we steered among abrupt rocks ; and again, in a more
inland course, as if within the channel of a gallant
river, whose mountain banks are tufted to the
water's edge with bright alluvial verdure. And
finally, we passed between the main land and the
coast of Cantyre, skirting Loch Fyne, renowned for
heiTings. After all, the voyage, owing to the previous
delay in the morning, was more protracted than on
ordinary occasions, so that it was past ten o'clock at
night before we arrived at the end of our first day's
voyage, at the village of Lochgoilhead. Here again
it was our lot to taste the vicissitudes of life and
peregrination, the place at the head of the Creenin
canal, where we were now about to pass the night,
-being ill calcrdated to afford even a single traveller
decent accommodation. Having made our way
through the first lock of the canal, we disembarked
at the principal alehouse, where being so far fortu-
nate as to obtain a bed, T was conducted to my
VII.] LOCHGOILHEAD. 105
apartment. Here indeed I might have slept, had
the desire of rest been a unanimous feeling with the
inmates ; but such was the noise of talking and dis-
puting among those who, having no beds of their
own, cared not to disturb those who had, and so
crazy and thin were the partitions, that no sooner had
a mouse rattled a teacup in one room than he was heard
in all. Owing to various disturbances of one sort or
another, I had hardly closed my eyes when I was
aroused, at four o'clock in the morning of the next
day, by a continued blast of a tin horn. It was indis-
pensable to start thus early, in order to overcome the
delay of passing the other locks of the canal, so as to
arrive at twelve o'clock, the time of rendezvous with
the other boats at Oban. Besides those persons in the
public-house, were several others out-lodgers in the
village, wherefore the man, till all had assembled,
never for a moment ceased to blow.
By reason of having to pass through fifteen locks
and four draw-bridges, we now commenced a tedious,
crawling voyage of nine miles through the canal, for
which distance the channel from Loch Fyne to the
Sound of Jura, has been cut a great part of the way,
by excessive labour, through solid rock ; whereas the
former circuitous route proceeded either south of
Cantyre, or across the narrow neck of land bounded
at the opposite sides by East and West Tarbet. After
heavily toiling along for three hours in confined space,
it was the more agreeable to be again refreshed by
beholding the open sea, where, among the first objects
wherewith we were now gratified, was the famous
whirlpool or gulfof Coryvrekan,the said torrent bear-
ing about half a mile distant on our larboard bow.
Here the two frowning headlands of Scarba and Jura,
F.3
106 GULPH OF KOKRYVREKAN. [CH.
one on each side, seem as it were to take post oppo-
site each other, and extend their bkifF crags in me-
nacing attitude over the fierce struggle of land and
water. Notwithstanding a full confidence in the
power of steam, it is not without a feeling of respect
that one glides silently along within the precincts of
an awful and unseen power, from whence, if once
predominant, there is no retreat ; tradition, moreover,
relates a numerous catalogue of men and vessels that
have perished in the whirlpool. Clusters of islands,
disposed in this part of the ocean in irregular masses,
resemble the remains of a shattered continent, and
receive a still wilder aspect from the variety of im-
petuous bubbling currents wherewith the intervening-
channels are infested ; however, the Maid of Morven
soon left astern this western Charybdis, and now
began to receive frequent increase of passengers by
small boats from the shore. Some of these, inhabit-
ants of the adjacent country, hence took passage to
Oban ; others left us in exchange, on an inland excur-
sion of business or pleasure. Young ladies in straw
bonnets, some with green veils, others with white, now
clambered daintily up our vessel's side ; and now
many a damsel, rejoicing in agility and youth, re-
paid with ill-repressed laughter and blushes, the
too zealous assistance of her swain below. A scene
of cordial hand-shaking and affectionate leave-taking
then ensued among members of the present hapjjy
generation, who in these remote regions, formerly
living apart and in solitude, now enjoy facilities of
social intercourse till of late years utterly unknown.
How different the picture of a sunnuer's day now on
this spot, when beauty, transported by the giant
power of steam, skims the waters in sunshine, and the
VII.] ARRIVE AT OBAN. 107
period in the olden time when poor Johnson, in an
open skiff, heavily breasted the waves.
The little island of Eisdale, in population is like
an emmet's nest; half a mile long and a quarter
broad, containing three or four hundred inhabitants,
all busily employed in quaiTying and preparing for
market slate-stone, of which it is a solid mass. The
appearance of our steamer infused into the little
colony a wonderful degree of alacrity. Men,
women, and children poured forth in haste from
their low-roofed cottages, and collecting together
in a swarm, peopled the projecting crags like
cockchafers on a bough. Many boat loads of
slate lay piled in heaps on the shore, ready for
embarkation.
Punctually amving at the specified time of ren-
dezvous at Oban, at a few minutes before noon, the
Maid of Morven lay alongside the quay and town,
the latter consisting of a row of exceedingly small,
low, newly built houses, at the head of a circular
bay. The Highlander, the small steamer on board
which we were now about to proceed to Tobermory,
had arrived at Oban an hour before ; but the
Highland Chieftain, the sister boat of the Maid of
Morven, had not yet made her appearance on her
way from Inverness. Delay at all events was at
present our doom, amid an unfelicitous blending
of business and pleasure. Many stores shipped
here from Glasgow were now to be unladen, and
bags, boxes, and barrels, bandied from our vessel to
the shore. At last the passengers bound for Tober-
mory, Staffa, and lona, stepped on board the High-
lander, which vessel, the little bell having rung its
welcome peal, gaily led the way out of the harbour.
108 ARRIVE AT OBAN. [CH. Vli.
The Highlaud Chieftain, having some time since
arrived, departed to pass the night at our old
quarters at Lochgoilhead ; and the Maid of Mor-
ven to proceed to Fort Fitzwilliam, on the Cale-
donian canal.
CHAPTER VIII.
Go on board the Highland Steamer — Dunolly Castle — Bay of
Tobermory — A kind Landlady — Expedition in the High-
lander — Departure — Calliach Head — Treshanish Islands —
First View of StafFa — The Buchaille — Inconvenient Landing
at lona — Pebbles — The Ruins — Their desecration — A civil
Scotsman — Embarkation — Landing at StafFa — Fingall's Cave
— Ascent on the Island — Delightful Prospect — A Herd of
Seals — Anecdote of a tame Seal — Its resemblance to the
Mermaid — Dr, Taylor's Museum of comparative Anatomy
at Manchester — Anecdote of a Boa Constrictor at Derby —
Re-embarkation — The Cotton Umbrella — A black Cook —
Return to Tobermory.
The change of vessels, it was immediately evident,
was much to our advantage ; for the Highlander,
though a much smaller craft than the Maid of Morven,
was less encumbered with a cargo of merchandize,
and the few persons now on board were all engaged
in a similar object — namely, to visit the Islands of
Staffa and lona. We had a delightful voyage the
remainder of the evening, from the moment we left
the Bay of Oban, skirting the projecting rock whereon
Dunolly Castle, the domain of Macdougall of Lorn,
has rested above the waters for succeeding ages; and
the building and the rock have become so blended
together that both in appearance seem crumbled into
one, till, making the bluff island of Mull, we steered
our course up Tobermory Sound, and at half-past
nine o'clock, after five hours' passage from Oban,
cast anchor in the bay — a bay within a bay, sheltered
by the surrounding hills from every wind that blows.
110 EXPEDITION IN THE HIGHLANDER. [CH.
No refuge for small vessels can possibly be more
perfect than the harbour of Tobermory, although on
our arrival the light was insufficient to see it to ad-
vantage: the party, however, who succeeded us on
the next voyage, had still more reason to com-
plain, for they were detained so long at the ren-
dezvous at Oban, that the hour was three in the
morning when they arrived at Tobennor}'.
Close to the water's edge stands the principal
public-house of the village, whence the buildings,
planted on steep and precipitous positions, rise one
above another to the summit of the elevated land
that girds the bay. Above all, is the small neat
church. On stepping on shore, we immediately
wended our way up this acclivity, and were received
midway at the house of the postmaster, ^vhere good
will and cleanliness combine to impress the visitor
with those favourable impressions, which, the longer
the sojourn he happens to make, the more amj)ly
will he find realised. At the house of Mrs. Cuth-
bertson, Scotch broth and marmalade, together with
all the delicacies of a Scots wife's cuisine, during the
whole time we remained in the mansion, were af-
forded us in profuse liberality.
According to the general arrangements before ad-
verted to, the hour of seven o'clock the next morning
was appointed for our departure, on board the High-
lander, for Staffa and lona ; and at seven o'clock,
accordingly, or rather nearly an hour before, I heard
the vessel's engine vehemently hissing under my
window ; a sound which vastly contributed to rouse
the senses, and render one more eager than before to
join the expedition ; moreover, a general enlivenment
is created on these occasions, which extends to every
Vlll.] DEPARTURE. 1 1 1
inhabitant, young and old, of the town of Tobermory.
The commander of the Highlander, leaving the as-
sembled crowd on the beach, set steam and shaped
his course towards the domain of the Laird of Col, at
the mouth of the bay, where having received on
board a fair charge, consisting of two young ladies,
he continued, for the credit of the vessel, and the
amusement of the spectators, to sweep round and
round in circles, on the bosom of this inland lake,
whereby the remainder of the passengers were obliged
to put off from the shore, and go on board in a boat.
The manoeuvre was merely intended as a preliminary
to the actual movement, thereby to instigate the
loitering, and determine the wavering passenger, and
by all and every fair means, to collect recruits. Ac-
cordingly, small boats were seen on their way from
various points on shore, containing some youths who
leaped on deck with faces half shaved, and others
en deshabille ; and even many among the ladies,
whose dress, after they came on board, needed trifling
adjustment. These services were mutually rendered
to each other ; a little button fastened here, another
there, and those well directed, dexterous twitches in-
flicted on garments, wherewith female fingers alone,
skilled to compose the folds of drapery, are wont to
excel. At least half a dozen skitfs thus anived in
succession ; containing for the most part younger
branches of families, bedecked in white dresses, bear-
ing green parasols, and advancing with a serpentine
waddling gait through the water, as the native clown,
tugging vigorously at the oar, plainly testified ex-
uberance of lusty strength over nautical skill. Of
these, one or two remained in our wake even after
we had started, till seeing we were in right earnest.
112 FIRST VIEW OF STAFFA. [CH.
the boatmen, relaxing suddenly from their labours,
lay on their oars far astern, in despair, each from
a small speck on the waves, regarding with lin-
gering interest the line of our progress, and then
returning with flagging stroke disappointed to his
home.
Fascinated either by Highland beauty, or Highland
scenery, the young ladies in the foreground or the
venerable mountains in the distance, it was hardly
without regret, as many persons remained on deck,
that in obedience to the captain's announcement,
1 found it necessary to partake of breakfast in the
cabin below, — that magnificent repast, welcomed by
the healthy, nauseated by the puling debauchee,
whereof moderate excess is the legitimate offspring
of temperance ; that meal whereat we all now joined
heart and hand to enjoy, as if there were no such
thing to be met with as a dinner in Scotland.
Steering round Callioch Head, we soon arrived
in the neighbourhood of the Treshanish islands,
Fladda, Lunga, and the Dutchman's Cap ; and after-
wards caught a view of Staffa, whose flat tabular
surface supported on lofty perpendicular clifls, pro-
truding abruptly from the sea, has an extraordinary
and remarkable appearance. Far beyond, as we
pursued our course, the shadowy outline of a square
church tower loomed indistinctly on the horizon
through the mist, and becoming clearer by degrees,
as we made steady progress on our voyage, the figure
of the cathedral of lona reared itself in full view.
In form the edifice might seem a moderate sized
English country church, although in size beyond the
lowly steeples in the vicinity, and out of proportion
with the small remote island whereon it is erected.
VIII.] THE BUCHAILLE. 113
Although it was proposed, with reference to the low
state of the flood tide, to postpone the visit to Staffa
till our return from lona, in the meantime, passing
close to the cliffs, we obtained an excellent view of
the Buchaille, or Herdsman's Rock, and of the en-
trance, as we wxathered the angle at the extremity of
the island, of Fingall's Cave. The former of these
objects consists of a huge heap of broken basaltic
columns, that, like a little mountain of thunderbolts,
lie heaped in the forai of an obtuse cone, about forty
feet high, a few yards from the shore. The channel
here between Staffa and the island of Mull, is appa-
rently about four miles wide ; and the Buchaille, in
conjunction ^dth the oblique slant visible at that
part of the cliffs of Staffa, bears evident testimony of
that mighty shock, when in former ages, either by
the agency of the earthquake or volcano, it was riven
from the parent land.
The most lively imagination, even at the first
sudden view of Fingall's Cave, is completely grati-
fied ; yet I cannot pretend to convey to the reader
more than a faint idea of the impressions I received
from the spectacle. I had by no means antici-
pated so near resemblance to the works of art,
as is exhibited by the fluted basaltic columns
that foiTB this splendid arch. The elegance of its
form, as if the work of fairies or of giants, seems ex-
pressly fashioned to bear the ponderous weight of
that superincumbent mass or crust, the stupendous
crown of rock that reposes upon its apex ; serving as
it were as a model to the architect to shew the apti-
tude of the curve for mighty pressure. It is a spot
appropriately identified with the wild poetry of
Ossian, and calculated above all things to recall to
Ill INCONVENIENT LANDING AT lONA, [CH,
the memory the melodies of Calcot, or the voice of
the deep-toned Bartleman. I gazed upon the object
with pure astonishment, till gliding onwards on our
way the cave gi'ew indistinct, the Buchaille and
Island altogether sank deeper and deeper in the
waters, and finally the outline on the horizon once
more vanished in shadow.
Curiosity, from this period henceforward, already
sufficiently excited, never again gained time to
cool, and no sooner were former objects of interest
lost in mist, than the Island of lona claimed our
attention ; ^vhose shores are perfectly flat, and the
beach, when seen from a distance, is covered with sand
so purely white as to be readily mistaken for chalk.
On arriving within a few fathoms of lona, the
channel being about a quarter of a mile wide, the
Highlander's anchor was dropped, and we went on
shore in a boat ; the water the whole way from the
vessel being resplendently clear, and rendered still
more pellucid in appearance by the whiteness of the
sand below, and the huge blocks of granite rock, that
here and there protrude from the bottom. We
landed upon a flat shoal of this material, which
circumstance, as the tide happened to be low, and
several ladies, some of them old ones, belonged to
our part}^, might be called inauspicious. A more
perilous and slippery path, under the ordinary con-
tingencies of every day life, is rarely encountered.
Sometimes it was necessary to step across deep
chasms, with no better footing on the opposite side
than a rudely pointed fragment of stone ; at others
we proceeded along apparently flat, even pavement,
abounding in watery snares for the unwary, and from
which, in fact, caution the most vigilant was insuffi-
VIII.] PEBBLES. 115
cient protection. Here some of the party dropped
mid-leg deep into hidden pools, covered deceitfully by
the broad slippery leaves of sea-weed ; others, squeez-
ing under their feet the bloated bags or cists attached
to some marine plants, squirted water as high as their
own and their neighbours' heads, or still higher,
bespattering their clothes and faces ; and one or two
persons, too confident in their activity, rolled over
on their backs, and got a sound ducking. Gallantry
itself was paralyzed as regarded the ladies, who
each proceeded alone the best manner she could,
in a predicament wherein not even the skill of Archi-
medes, without a single attainable point of resistance,
could have rendered her assistance. On they all
went, with a mincing gait, as if groping their way in
the dark, some tittering, others lamenting, so that,
with slipping and splashing, in despite of vigilance
and timidity, certainly not less than once in every
three or four steps, ill surely came of it to some of
the party, either one way or another.
, A group of children, chiefly little girls, each with a
plate in her hand containing pebbles and shells for
sale, had already collected on the shore, and were
standing in a line to receive us. Among these spe-
cimens, the light green stone especially, peculiar to
the island, was in tolerable abundance, though it is
singular, considering these are purchased with avidity
by the numerous ti'avellers who visit the spot, that
any should now remain. Of all it may be observed,
that although in the spirit of hard dealing, artfully
wetted with sea-water to improve their brilliancy,
they are of better than ordinary quality.
As the buildings, the object of our pi-e sent visit, are
within three or four stones' throw of the shore, oiu-
116 THE RUINS. [CH.
purpose after once being fairly landed was speedily
effected, the which was so far fortunate, inasmuch as
the period allotted by the captain to this portion of our
day's business, was not more than sufficient to per-
fect the end proposed, without affording any indivi-
dual an opportunity of walking round or even across
this very small island. We accordingly immediately
proceeded en masse to the celebrated ruins of the
Cathedral, the Chapel of St. Obans, and the Nun-
nery. The upper surface of the land appeared
to be chiefly the aforesaid white sand, covered by
natural, sweet, tender herbage, and abounding in mi-
neral substances containing mica especially in large
proportion. Of the stones, many of a greenish tinge,
with which, loosely laid one upon another, the walls
are composed, I hardly observed two exactly alike,
excepting those of red granite, which material is uni-
versally predominant. In one place, in an excava-
tion dug on the side of a bank, I saw a stratum two
feet thick of perfect fossil shells. The habitations
consisted only of a few small cottages, although, as if
preparatory to an increase of population, a small
village church had recently been endowed, and a neat
manse-house built for the clergyman.
It is impossible to approach these venerable ruins
without a sensation of respect and awe, on contrast-
ing sublime designs of architecture, and grand monu-
mental reliques, with the humility of the remote spot
whereon they have been placed, a spot which, to
former generations, and before the invention and aid
of steam, might be considered by the inhabitants of
the south nearly as inaccessible as Iceland. It is
extraordinary to witness a display of ornamental
sepulchres here in this land of mist and storm, apart
VIII,] THEIR DESECRATION. 117
until recently from the civilized world, yet calculated,
in regard to workmanship and design, to do honour to
the most celebrated of our ecclesiastical edifices,
whether of York, Canterbury, Wells, Westminster
Abbey, or elsewhere. Some are within the cathedral,
the greater part in the burying ground outside ; how-
ever, the outer walls of the former building alone
remain, so that these receive no manner of shelter.
The ruins of durable red granite are in excellent
preservation, together with various arches within,
fretted work, and columns exquisitely chiseled ; a
forbearance, whether on the part of time or of the
marauder, rather to be attributed to the hardness of
the material, than the protection of the constituted
authorities. Although not versed, even to a limited
extent, in antiquarian lore, 1 could not divest myself
of a feeling of sincere regret, on witnessing the more
than apathetic neglect of this magnificenlf cemetery,
wherein the tombs are exposed at present to absolute
degradation. Here, in a country where want of re-
spect to ancestry is by no means a national failing,
the reliques of the mighty dead, of the dignified
priesthood of former days, and of Norwegian kings,
are actually lying unprotected from the wind and
rain, unhallowed from desecration by the boisterous
intruder, and deserted by the lords of the soil, their
natural protectors. Surely, even were it considered
objectionable to remove these monuments to a secure
though distant spot, it were incumbent on somebody
or some persons to gird the whole precincts with a
fence or wall, and throw a roof above those tombs
deposited in the cathedral. The latter expedient,
since the walls are yet sound, even though slightly
118 A CIVIL SCOTSMAX. [CH.
performed, would answer good purpose, and be ef-
fected at small expense.
One instance of thoughtless damage fell under my
own observation. Having picked up a large stone
that atti'acted my attention, I was retiring towards
a natural rock for the purpose of breaking it, when
a young lithsome Scotsman, perceiving my object,
with extraordinary civility interfered, requesting me
to allow him to perform the office. 1 accordingly
delivered him the fragment, when, being near-sighted,
he first held it close to his nose, then gave it two or
three tosses and turns till he had perfectly satisfied
himself as to its grain and texture. Without more
ado he then spat in his hand, and hurled it with all
his force against one of the supine effigies that re-
clined below, which pianoeuvre split it into half a
dozen pieces. The feat was so uncalled for, and in
fact so outrageous, that I was really shocked and
svn'prised withal that no one present noticed the
wanton trespass. Such in fact it was, although in-
stigated by sheer good nature. It may be asked of
our guide why did he not interfere ? and so probably
lie would, if not engaged elsewhere. Formerly a
schoolmaster in Mull, and learned in the first place in
ancient inscriptions, he was at the time too busily oc-
cupied in expounding epitaphs to the inquisitive ;
secondly, our party consisting of about thirty persons,
were too ubiquitous a body to be submitted to control ;
and thirdly, the space over which all had free range
was too imlimited, to enable him, without the eyes
of Argus, to exercise superintendence.
The above-mentioned crew, who had gradually in-
creased to the present force from diflerent parts of
VIII.] fingall's cave. 119
the coast during the voyage from Tobermory, now
prepared, after three quarters of an hour expended at
lona, to commence embarkation. All were success-
fully carried in two trips of the boat on board the
Highlander, whose paddles, then again put in motion,
never ceased to thump the waves, till she hove to and
dropped anchor a furlong's distance from FingalFs
Cave at Staffa. Here again was immediately per-
formed another landing expedition, whereupon all
were so eager to go on shore by the first conveyance,
that in the course of one minute the skiff was filled
with as many persons as she could conveniently hold,
and then two or three stepped in, in despite of re-
monstrance, into the bargain. ]\Iore actually would
have followed, had not the captain, finding it was
of as little avail to stand still saying " hoot, hoot," as
wliistle, waxing wrath and red in the face, forcibly
dragged back the invaders by the collar. Fortunately
the weather and the tide were both favourable, whereby
we were enabled to land at the entrance of the cave
without difhculty, which object is impracticable un-
less at particular periods of the ebb and flood, and
while the sea is more than usually calm.
As we approached the entrance of the cavern,
wherein the sea enters lilce a river, a heavy ground
swell agitated the boat with so violent a motion, as
plainly to show, the wind having been for some time
past perfectly still, the precarious natiu'e of access
under other circumstances ; for not only do the vv-aves
at this spot bound and reverberate against the cliffs,
but the cavern regurgitates the mighty volume of
water that enters within its ample throat, propelling
it outwards in a flood of resistance against the ad-
vancing billows. So great was the reaction on the
120 fingall's cave. [ch.
present occasion, that steadiness and activity were
indispensable on the part of every person in the boat,
to catch the precise moment of stepping out cleverly
upon the rugged causeway on one side of the cavern,
and to take advantage of the alternate heaving of the
swell. This causeway extends the whole length
within, like the side-path of a canal, and being formed
of the broken surfaces of basaltic columns of unequal
lengths, which nevertheless increase in height from
the centre outwards, the adventurer may proceed
according to his fancy, either ascending nearly
to the summit of the roof, or keeping the lower
level. The water below, of an unusually pale green,
is quite clear, so that the bottom, about ten or twelve
feet deep, is distinctly discernible. The dimensions
of this splendid vault are so extensive, that although
there is no other aperture to admit light than the en-
trance, a person standing at its mouth and looking
within, even to its farther extremity, may clearly de-
fine its proportions, beautiful in architectural sym-
metry, and regular as the honey-comb.
I am free to confess I preferred this mode, to
advancing in the interior ; considering, as regards
position, that of the two ends of any given straight
line, it were well at all times to select the more con-
venient, — a principle which may be turned to special
account in matters of altitude. To scan the dimen-
tions of a lofty mountain standing at the base, is
perhaps equally profitable as to ascend its rugged
sides, supposing the sole object of the traveller, as
is ft'equently the case, be merely to say he has been
there. At all events, here, on the exact spot whereon
I landed from the boat, I remained, edified by the
magnificent spectacle within, and amused by the ap-
VIII.] fingall's cave. 121
pearance created by our party, ladies and gentlemen,
some above and some below, at various degrees of
elevation, as if suspended one above another in the
air on an undefined foundation. As they poked their
way along, apparently with much hesitation, one
might have imagined all in considerable jeopardy ;
nevertheless, progress was free from danger by reason
of the rough, sovuid footing afforded by the surface of
the columns whereon they trod.
Since the eye collects its materials with great
rapidity, and nothing is to be effected within the
cavern, but walk to the exti'erae end and then back
again, the exploring party in a short space of time
returned perfectly satisfied, and in a quarter of an
hour from the moment of disembarkation, were ready
again for departure. Previously to betaking our-
selves to the boat, it was our plan to ascend the
heights on the summit of the island.
The site of Fingall's Cave is close to an angular
point of the cliffs, round which it was now neces-
sary to clamber the best manner we could, in order
to descend upon a narrow strip of beach, which in
some places three or four, in others thirty or forty
yards wide, hereabouts surrounds the island at its
base. With this object in view, a plank was laid
across a chasm otherwise impassable, over which the
party proceeded cautiously one after another, each
person steadying himself by a boat-hook held by two
sailors at each opposite end to serv^e as a guard or
rail. The above was a ticklish contrivance, for
though the men extended the pole across from
shoulder to shoulder, their footing was so preca-
rious, and the plank so unsteadily supported on the
rock, that I much question, in case of stress being
VOL. II. G
122 fingall's cave. [ch.
actually laid on the former, if all three persons
had not been soused in the water. Everybody
walked across without disaster, and descended upon
the aforesaid beach, wherefrom the cliffs above, en-
tirely composed of basaltic columns, rise in figure
and elevation resembling the highest of those of
chalk in Kent and Sussex. Making progress within
the base of the Buchaille, for the distance of three
or four hundred yards, we arrived at the spot whence
access to the summit of the cliffs was now to be made
by those persons adventurous in spirit, by aid of the
broken shafts of the basaltic columns, which afford
an extremely irregular footing all the way to the top.
1 would by no means recommend a stranger to make
this experiment, but rather to advance quietly a
little farther, to a spot whence a winding but regular
path safely conducts him to the table land above.
Notwithstanding the celebrity of this basaltic form-
ation, the individual columns are by no means so
perfect as those of the Giant's Causeway in Ireland,
at which latter place each block is as true as if cast
in a mould, the convex end of each joint resting in
the other's concavity with the same precision as
vertebrae in the back-bone of a horse. In the
cabins in the vicinity, pieces of these naturally
formed joints are frequently used to serve the pur-
pose of a seat ; but portable and durable as these
specimens are, it is singular, few are to be met with
in England. One pair, and extremely good ones,
are in the Natural History Museum in Manchester,
but with the exception of these, I never remember
meeting elsewhere with another. At the Giant's
Causeway the surfaces, or horizontal sections of the
columns, are perfect polygons, regular, rectilinear
VIII.] ASCENT ON THE ISLAND. 123
figures ; but here at Staffa, the angles being gene-
rally ill-defined, the planes more resemble the sawed-
off" trunks of trees.
For my own part, I had no particular reason for
making the ascent in question, but because the same
freak was performed by many, among others, ladies ;
wherefore difficulty and danger at any rate seemed
out of the question. Nevertheless, the contrary in
the end turned out to be the case, and as in those
instances in common life where there are many ways
to one object, liberty of choice is frequently repaid
by injudicious selection, so here, by reason of the in-
equality of the broken shafts, he who followed the
steps of many leaders profited by the example of
none. For a considerable distance I proceeded
prosperously enough, ascending from the broken sur-
face of one column, ad lihitum to that most con-
venient above, and thus I went on mounting pillar
after pillar, without feeling the least necessity of
looking behind, obtaining a firm hold invariably
for the feet and fingers, till I reached a consider-
able height from the ground. The edges of the
columns at first were not only horizontal, but fre-
quently somewhat concave towards the centre ; but
the planes increasing in obliquity towards the sum-
mit, the grip at last grew so awfully insecure, that I
was necessarily constrained, particularly as 1 was
unable to trace my way back, to pause for a moment
and look around. In point of fact, the fair sex on the
present occasion were the innocent cause of bring-
ing me to such an extremely awkward predicament,
that without being able to proceed with convenience
and safety either way, a slight puff of wind where I
at present stood might have eflectually disturbed my
G 2
124 DELIGHTFUL PROSPECT. [CH.
equilibrium. I gave place during the ascent to one
lady, lent a helping hand to another, and paid so much
general attention to the progress of all, that I had taken
a devious course meanwhile myself, and wandered
out of the right way altogether. Even now I had no
sooner, in order to shape my steps aright, looked per-
pendicularly upwards, than regard to propriety imme-
diately compelled me again to look down, as these
Highland damsels, striding like hunters of the
Alps from crag to crag, displaying a degree of
agility that would have done honour to Taglioni,
necessarily exhibited their fair forms in very curious
and extraordinary attitudes. At all events I con-
sidered myself fortunate so soon as I arrived prosper-
ousl}' on the top of the precipice, particularly as a
plethoric pursy person for some time stuck close
to my rear, and continued awfully to snuffle and blow
within reach of my skirts.
The trouble of scaling these heights is repaid by a
lovely prospect in fine weather ; the day during our
whole excursion had been more than usually propi-
tious; and as the fragrant sea breeze swept this
elevated spot, the most enchanting scenery appeared
in the distance that heart could desire. The island
of Rum and her smaller sisters of these western He-
brides, whereon good grouse-shooting is to be had at
little cost, inasmuch as, ]n-ovided the sportsman
taketh not with him people to eat the birds, means
are found wanting when killed to conve}^ them away,
exhibited afar off almost every variety of mountain
tracery ; while the contiguous island of Mull, with
her peculiarly shaped hills, displayed a series of
rounded summits and serrated ridges, extending as far
as the eye could reach along the horizon, and in al-
VIII.] DELIGHTFUL PROSPECT. 125
titude till their tops were lost in the clouds. And
what can any lover of the picturesque wish for
more ?
Although on viewing from a vessel at sea the island
of Staffa, the surface appears perfectly flat, the ap-
pearance on surmounting the elevation is of an ex-
tensive plain, occasionally varied by gentle risings
and concavities, covered with excellent herbage, and
setting entirely apart the associations of Fingall and
his abode, a most delectable spot for summer resi-
dence. Deep-rooted in the sea, fortified by inacces-
sible cliffs, and with soil quite sufficient for the
purposes of agriculture, one might imagine the site
even preferable for a church establishment to that of
lona. The gi'ass is indeed particularly fine, in some
places short and tufted, in others, especially along
the banks of the hollows, even rank and dark coloured.
In one particular spot I observed a bed of black peat,
from whence a considerable quantity had already
been dug. About a dozen head of small horned
cattle as wild and active as deer, remarkable for their
beauty, and smaller than the Alderney breed, seemed
by bounding and leaping away at the approach of
strangers, to enjoy by right of inheritance, and unmo-
lested, the free pasture of the soil. These cattle
were, however, as we perceived afterwards, together
with as many sheep and a goat, under the guardian-
ship of an old woman and a young girl, both of whom,
by the way, were in appearance as wild and timo-
rous as themselves. If not inhabitants of a cave in
some concealed nook within the territory, these
native shepherdesses were probably ferried across
daily from the island of Mull in a boat; on this
point I endeavoured to get information, but was un-
126 A HERD OF SEALS. [CH.
able to obtain a reply from either. At any rate,
neither house, cabin, nor tenement of any description
Avas to be seen on this island.
A more liberal portion of time being here allotted
to our party than on the island of lona, I wandered
away from my companions to the verge of the op-
posite cliffs, and here keeping in a line with the sea-
shore, I saw abundance of sea-birds, and in many
places, strewed on the grass, in heaps of a bushel
or more together, the shells of periwinkles and lim-
pets that they had de^'oured. At last I arrived at
a delightful grassy spot not more than a few yards
removed from the precipice, yet as inviting to medi-
tation and repose as if it were far inland. It was a
deep abrupt hollow, quarried by the hand of nature
and carpeted with luxuriant herbage ; and here I
seated myself for a few minutes to enjoy the serene
stillness of solitude, excluded from every feature,
in the landscape but the sky above. As I listened
to the waves' alternate heavings on the shore, as it
were the respiration of the ocean, a sound suddenly
struck upon my ear as of a human being drowning
in the sea below ; and, conversant as I was with the
cause, the tone was so perfectly human, that for a
few seconds I was really deceived. However, start-
ing on my feet, I no sooner gained the edge of the
cliff, than I saw a herd of seals swimming backwards
and forwards and sporting in the water.
Surely the intonation of no other animal in nature
so closely resembles the human voice as that of the
seal ; and yet it is a wild unearthly howl, uttered as
this wonderful creature rears its close cropped head
above the waves, and surveys with a cautious yet
eager gaze the world around him. Most people at
VIII.] ANECDOTE OF A TAME SEAL. 127
one or other time in their lives have seen a seal, es-
pecially in rough weather, off a rocky coast, turning
its head continually from side to side as it moves
along, a link between two distinct orders in creation.
Many a time in early days have I watched hour after
hour of the wintery day on the sea-shore, in the vain
hope of surprising for a moment their ever watchful
sagacity, but once only had I an opportunity of ob-
serving the extraordinary faculties of the animal
when in a state of domestication. The opportunity
afforded me on the occasion alluded to was so per-
fectly satisfactory, that I will venture here to relate
the particulars.
A healthy, young, full-gi*own seal, very few years
ago, either temporarily tired of the company of his
acquaintance, or fatigued by exercise, abandoned one
morning for a time his patrimonial territory near the
Reculvers on the coast of Kent, and clambering or
floundering out of the sea upon a plate of flat rock
adjoining the new pier or jetty at Heme Bay, there
inconsiderately lay down to sleep. In this helpless
state he was unfortunately surprised by a sturdy
fisherman, who without more ado, though unassisted
by comrade or auxiliary of any description, deter-
mined on securing the prisoner ; and to that end,
drawing from his shoulders an impenetrable pea-
jacket, lined within by the stoutest drugget, fortified
without by indurated blotches of tar and pitch, and
double patched moreover across the elbows, stealthily
approached the monster, threw the garment over his
body, simultaneously fell upon and grappled his vic-
tim after the fashion of a bear, and bore him away in
triumph. The poor seal, roused from peaceful slum-
ber, his visions of coral rocks and crystal palaces in
128 ANECDOTE OF A TAME SEAL. [CH.
a moment dissevered, and the lively prospects of youth
thus vanished for ever, made all the resistance in a
seal's power, but every effort was in vain ; neverthe-
less, with teeth clogged with pitch, and fins pinioned
close to his sides, he soundly flapped the fisherman's
boots with his heavy wet tail. After all, the conqueror
placed him in a cart and conveyed him to Brighton.
It was there I visited him, not only once a-day
but several times a-day, and not only thus of one day,
but of many days during the period while, at the
small charge of three pence each person, he was ex-
hibited under a tent erected on the sea-shore, on
that part of the cliff immediately below Regency
Square. I never witnessed a spectacle more uni-
versally popular, or resorted to with fewer restrictions
as to rank or station ; the spectators consisting of
persons grave and idle of all descriptions, lords and
ladies, masters and mistresses, governesses, servants,
nursery-maids, and tribes of little children.
The animal was placed in a large deal vat, well
caulked and pitched withinside, secured at the top with
a strong moveable grating of iron wire, and half filled
with sea-water. His favourite position when undis-
turbed was floating on his belly, the upper part of
the head stretched forwards flat upon the water, his
nostrils remaining barely above the surface. His
whiskers and coal-black eyes, the latter usually
steady and fixed, were not unlike those of the water-
rat. The eyes nevertheless were quite flat, as it
were pieces of jet set in stone ; when motionless, re-
flecting a senseless glare, but animated by eagerness
or alarm, exijressive as the eyes of a dog ; command-
ing a view moreover before and behind and on every
side, and gathering a peculiar look of archness and
VIII.] ANECDOTE OF A TAME SEAL. 129
sagacity by a wrinkle formed by the pressure of the
orbs against the fatty part of their circumference.
The mouth displayed two characters ; of the quad-
ruped, and of the fish ; the teeth partaking of the
former, and the tongue and gums, as to their deep
red colour, belonging to the latter. The tongue, more-
over, was thick and short, like the tongue of a fish.
The nostrils, most curiously formed, possessed the
power of excluding air as well as water, the orifices,
opening and shutting at will, being capable of extra-
ordinary dilatation, and the cartilage so pliable, as
when in full stretch, to give to the aperture an oppo-
site line of direction ; which peculiarity may be also
observed in the mouth of a serpent. Through the
nostrils alone he breathed, inhaling at very irregular
intervals, remaining sometimes for two or three
minutes together without breathing at all.
Compared to the physical properties above de-
scribed, the moral qualities were considerably more
extraordinary ; and it was wonderful to observe the
rapidity of transition wherewith this apparently
senseless mass of blubber, suddenly relinquishing
the torpid nature of the fish, became enlightened with
the intelligence of the dog. Indeed the head in form
and motion bore exact resemblance to that of a
cropped Danish coach-dog. The change was instan-
taneous ; now lying on the water an inanimate log, in
a single moment Proteus-like he started up a differ-
ent animal. A long flexible neck protruded itself
from hitherto shapeless proportions, whereon the
head turned from side to side lively and active, and
the whole form, endued with the attitude and gait of
the quadruped, became replete with newly found ard
rapid action.
G 3
130 ANECDOTE OF A TAME SEAL. [CH.
In a corner of the tent lay the creature's food,
and the common expression, "as fat as a seal," was
compatible with the alacrity wherewith he devoured
flukes and flounders, at all hours in the day. No
seal was ever fatter than he, and the keeper, a good-
natured fellow, ever ready to feed his prisoner and
oblige the public, supplied him abundantly with food.
No dog ever watched the expected morsel with more
eagerness on its way from the hand of his master,
than did the seal attend to the motions of whomso-
ever approached the corner where his food lay ;
marking the individual incessantly round and round
the tent until he obtained his desire. When a large
flounder was presented to him, he took it from the
hand with the air of a well bred dog, closing his
teeth upon it gently, — at the same time, it must be
confessed, holding it so firmly, that it was out of
the question to endeavour to take it again from him.
In short, his was altogether the manner of a dog, and
like a dog he used his fius as paws, holding the fish
firmly between them, and tearing off" the skin with
his teeth. After he had skinned the fish he bolted
each mouthful whole, without an effort to bite, or
apparently any desire to taste it.
" Over ! " said the keeper, as he occasionally bran-
dished a thick cudgel over his head, whereat the poor
seal rolled over in his tank obediently, keeping an
eye continually on the stick, and moaning in a la-
mentable key, a tone indeed peculiarly hideous, the
water gurgling in his throat, as of a human being
drowning ; meanwhile, every look and turn evinced
the intelligence of the quadruped, and particularly
attachment and subservience to man.
One word still remains to be said of his fins ; used
VIII.] ITS RESEMBLANCE TO A MERMAID. 131
as cleverly as arms, as has been already observed, with
regard to skinning the flounders. Each fin is armed
with five claws, long and of equal length, like those
of a bear, and consequently resembling in no very
remote degree the human hand. The resemblance
of the seal or sea-calf to the calf, consists only in the
voice, and the voice of the calf is certainly not dissi-
milar to that of a man ; therefore the connexion of the
seal with humanity is perhaps farther preserved by
the Greek word signifying a man being <?>«?, and a
seal (puKn. But the claws of the seal, as well as the
hand, are like a lady's back hair comb, wherefore,
altogether, supposing the resplendence of sea-water
streaming down its polished neck on a sunshiny day
the substitute for a looking-glass, we arrive at once
at the fabulous history of the marine maiden, or mer-
maid, and the appendages of her toilet.
To investigate animal life, and animal faculties, is
at all times a pleasing speculation, particularly in the
case of the seal, a being not only amphibious in habits,
but, in form partaking in triple proportion the cha-
racter of the finny tribe, yet doomed by Providence
to bear to the remote depths of ocean the sagacity of
quadrupeds.
With regard to the organs required for amphibious
respiration, an opportunity was afforded me during the
last summer of seeing in the private collection of spe-
cimens of comparative anatomy, the most valuable
perhaps at present in England, belonging to Dr.
Taylor, at Manchester, a beautiful preparation of the
lungs of a turtle ; a wonderful exemplification of the
mechanism necessary for subaqueous existence. The
whole fabric, owing to the increased size of the air
vessels, infinitely more spongy than is the case in land
132 DE. Taylor's museum at Manchester, [ch,
animals, exactly resembles, as relates to consistence,
a conglomerated mass of the finer filaments of moss
or sea-weed, and in colour a piece of delicately white
honey-comb, when dry and free from honey.
Here also I saw skeletons of an albatross, and
of other birds; the former shewing the extreme
difference in weight of bone, according to the
exigency of each particular species, whether for the
purposes of protracted flight, or otherwise. The
bone in question, a wing bone, of a bird destined to
float in the air, almost continually on its pinions,
though in size as big as the leg-bone of a sheep, the
knob at either end being even still larger, was never-
theless so delicately light, that in substance hardly
exceeding that of a common quill, it really felt in
the hand, as if a puff of air would have blown it
away.
Here also was a preparation of the stomach and
bowels of a boa constrictor, or rather the entire bowel
of the reptile, for they have no separate stomach,
guts and haggis being as it were all in one piece,
the latter suddenly expanding so as to form the
bag, in a state of nature capable probably of
great expansion ; the present, hardly exceeding in
size an ordinary pig's bladder. The formation of
the glands set apart for the secretion of saliva, so
copiously required by serpents for the purposes
of deglutition, must be highly curious; indeed,
to the quantity of saliva so applied, I have it in
my power to bear testimony ; as will appear by
one more short anecdote, wherewith I will close this
digression.
In a former volume I related a feat, that of swallow-
ing a rabbit, perfoi-med by a boa constrictor. On
VIII.] ANECDOTE OF A BOA CONSTRICTOR. 133
the present occasion I saw three rabbits, tied toge-
ther by a string, bolted in the same manner. How-
ever, as the tale may appear somewhat marvel-
lous, I will state the place where it happened,
attested by scores of inhabitants, and the date,
namely, on the 5th of July, 1836, in the town of
Derby. A clumsy fellow, the jjroprietor of a travelling
caravan, anxious, as he said, " to give the serpent a
good blow out," so soon as the head of one rabbit was
fairly within its jaws, attached to the hind legs by a
piece of thick rope-yarn, the fore legs of another
newly killed, and thus of three in succession. The
experiment ended in disappointment, for the boa, so
soon as the last rabbit was fairly down, without
farther ceremony opened his mouth to the full extent
of his jaws, and puked all three up again. I am
quite sure that the quantity of saliva expended in
this operation was not less than half a gallon, where-
with the disgorged rabbits' hides were as thoroughly
saturated, as if parboiled in a cauldron.
I would willingly have loitered about this wild
seagirt spot the entire day, but since the hour of de-
parture was now at hand, the Plighlander's passen-
gers received signal accordingly to hasten to their
rendezvous. Instead of descending to the sea-shore
by our former line of escalade from the beach, we
returned by the narrow beaten path before mentioned,
walking easily, one after another like wild ducks,
along a winding track from the summit of the cliffs to
their base. Here we found the boat already in rea-
diness, and the boatmen anxious to be gone.
The Highlander, meanwhile, embedded on the
calm sea, lay <|uietly at anchor a quarter of a mile
distant, restraining her black smoke within her own
134 REEMBARKATION. [CH.
bowels, and as if sympathising with the serenity of
nature, spreading upwards a soft wreath of white
vapour, in fleecy columns upon the clear blue sky.
The first batch of passengers were speedily in their
places, and with alacrity the stout rowers returned
for the remainder. These, in consequence of bad ar-
rangement, consisted of a considerable majority of
the party. In the former instance of disembarka-
tion, the balance of numbers rested the other way ;
in both cases the distribution was unequal, and at
all events, now, inconvenience was to be endured.
Though stimulated before by the excitement of novelty,
now that curiosity was gi'atified people were prone
to delay ; and he who on going on shore figured
combatively among the first ranks, was now a
laggard and careless to depart. The consequence
accordingly was, that on this the boat's second trip,
after our rear-guard were got together, the live cargo
proved greater than was altogether convenient, where-
fore to trim the boat, and arrange the stowage, re-
quired not a little adjustment.
At last, when all were seated in their places, still
agitated by the inshore swell, a frown on the cock-
swain's countenance betokened that something yet was
wrong, and as he still hesitated to depart, it appeared
that one individual of the party, a loitei'er still on
shore, most vexatiously caused the delay.
The truant was an uncouth, learned man, whom I
had often during our voyage remarked in fits of ab-
straction and reverie ; a geologist, I presume, from the
interest he bestowed on fragments of rock and peb-
bles, which, gloating upon as if they were apples,
he would daintily twist round in his fingers imme-
diately close to his nose. He was dressed in a suit of
VIII.] REEMBARKATION. 135
rusty black, with thick soled shoes, ribbed worsted
stockings, and small unstarched cravat, that fitted
his neck like a rope. His inexpressive counte-
nance was agitated by natural contortions, vexing
as it were capriciously his cheeks and ears. Though
abundantly silent, while others were engaged in con-
versation, frequently, apropos to nothing at all, he
would display an extraordinary smile, a gleam of
simplicity, meanwhile illuminating a wide mouth,
and large teeth, that in my mind distinctly likened
him to Scott's portrait of the creature Dougal, in Rob
Roy. Amused by his own reflections, or delighted by a
geological specimen, his features responded invariably
by a laugh, which muscular effort served besides for
all other possible contingencies, — joy, sorrow, acqui-
escence, denial, or whatnot ; and particularly, when-
ever asked any sort of question, instead of words, a
laugh was the only reply; — a laugh like a sudden puff
of gunpowder, the snort of a porpoise, or the peculiar
bark of a pig, if incautiously stumbled upon, con-
cealed under the straw.
Of this individual we were now waiting the plea-
sure, when we perceived him, as our boat was un-
comfortably bobbing up and down in the water, ob-
stinately, as if on purpose to try our patience, not
only disregarding bailings and hallooings, like a
man stone deaf, but actually wandering away in a
wrong direction. At first, since his eyes were bent
towards the earth, we concluded he was looking for
pebbles, and the general wish was to push off with-
out him, but as at last it became evident by his man-
ner that he had actually lost something, which article
might be his watch or his purse, or something of
still greater value, courtesy and good fellowship
136 REEMBARKATION. [CH.
demanded forbearance and additional law. Indul-
gence was, however, quite thrown away. The cock-
swain, having been restrained from departure to the
present period not without difficulty, would now
positively wait no longer ; and accordingly, after
warning the delinquent once for all to come on board,
under pain of being left behind, we actually com-
menced progress towards the steamer. The geologist
merely replied to the latter injunction by a wave of
the hand, and a fretful shake of the head, and then
down again went his eyes, upon the beach as before ;
but so soon as he perceived that we were really gone
in right earnest, roused as if awakened from a dream,
lie instantly bellowed to be taken on board. We had
now already proceeded some distance from the shore,
the boat considerably overladen, being nearly gun-
wale to, though the sea was perfectly calm. Many
of our passengers, moreover, were ladies, whose con-
venience it was imperative to consider ; wherefore a
proposal so perfectly unreasonable as to row back
towards this land lubber, being scouted without a
division, the rowers, bending their necks upon the
oars, replied by laughter to his gestures and ridicu-
lous grimaces.
Meanwhile, various were the opinions regarding
the man on shore. Some said he was mad ; others
thought him only selfish ; while a few imagined it
possible that Cupid, the crafty analyst of stony
hearts, had inflicted him with tender fantasies with
reference to the young shepherdess, and that perhaps
assailed by love at first sight, he had determined to
remain at Staffa for ever and for aye, tend lambkins
in sweet converse with the short-skirted Highland
damsel during the livelong day, and employ his
VIII.] REEMBARKATION. 137
time when sated with amorous dalliance, in whistling
tender melodies upon the flute : at any rate, instant
preparations were made for departure.
The creaking capstan had accordingly performed
its office, and the paddles commenced their rotatory
motion, when Caliban flung about his arms in de-
spair, and roared for mercy's sake in so dolorous
a key, that whether he succeeded in melting the
hard heart of the captain, or whether his passage-
money might be still perchance unpaid, at all events
the commander gave the word to stoj) the vessel's
way, and dispatched the boat ashore, manned by a
couple of clumsy fellows like himself, fool or philo-
sopher, to bring him away.
On the return of the party, the rope was scarcely
thrown from the vessel, when the captain immediately
ordered to give M'ay, whereby the boat was dragged
violently through the water, and a meed of punish-
ment exercised on the offender, who, with clothes
well splashed, was coarsely hauled up the vessel's
side. Treated somewhat despitefully, he no sooner
arrived on deck than he sat himself down assiduously
to dry with a handkerchief his moistened gar-
ments, and continued so occupied while the captain
and passengers crowded round him in a body, each
intensely curious to know what manner of accident
had detained him on shore. His silence was inex-
orable ; he responded to none. " What had ye
drapjjit ? " enquired the captain. The other gave no
answer but a grin, whereupon the former had re-
course to his mull wuth a look of serious displeasure.
" Hoot, hoot, man alive," he rejoined violently, be-
griming his nose with snuff till it became the
colour of the fungus known by the name of the
138 THE COTTON UMBRELLA. [CH.
devil's snufF-box, "what for you no come on board;
what the deevil garred ye no come on board ? " The
geologist replied to this latter question by an inter-
jectional snigger, and at the same time extended his
right arm with a significant gesture. Curiosity was
appeased. The lost article was found. It was a
cotton umbrella !
While, as Julius Caesar used to say, these matters
proceeded by land and by sea, the black cook, per-
spiring copiously within his narrow dominions below,
produced the result of his toil — an excellent dinner.
Some people in the world are so fastidious as to ob-
ject altogether to a repast served by a black cook,
and more especially a hot, black cook ; others, on the
contrary, whether the cook be hot or whether he be
black, care very little about the matter. Of the latter
description of persons were most of the passengers
on board the Highlander. For my o\^'n part, I had
some consolation in reflecting, that the viands now
laid upon the table, by reason of natural covering,
bid defiance to contamination from the fragrant artist:
for example — a fine fresh salmon rejoicing in his
silvery skin, and a steaming dish of potatoes in their
impenetrable russet garments.
Refreshed by food and whiskey, our day's expedi-
tion was drawing to a close. We had still, however,
to expei'ience the delight of gliding, amid the serene
stillness of a summer's evening, through a beautiful
portion of the voyage ; for the sea, here bounded by
the shores of Mull, mountainous to the water's edge,
assumes for the most part the appearance of a mag-
nificent lake. As we approached the Sound, several
small skiffs, each manned by one or two men or boys,
who, with no other apparatus than an ordinary hook
VIII.] RETURN TO TOBERMORY, 139
and line, were occupied in fishing, floated tranquilly
upon the sea. As we passed along, the owners of
these small craft occasionally hauled up a line
rapidly hand over hand, and disengaged a fish, a 3'ard
or more in length, from the end of it. Boats also
were now continually arriving from the shore, wherein
those ladies and gentlemen who had joined us on the
way, were conveyed to their homes ; and finally, at
nine o'clock in the evening, once more reduced to
our original numbers, we entered and dropped anchor
in the placid bay of Tobermory.
CHAPTER IX.
A Mull Pony — Path round the Bay — Domain of the Laird of
Col — A native Eagle — Mode of i^reparino; Salmon for long
Voyages — Establishment of a Lincolnshire Poulterer — Return
in the Highlander to Oban — Re-embark on board the Maid
of Morven — Tedious Passage to Fitzwilliam — A Handicap in
the Dark — Bad Night's Lodging — Fall of Foyers — Royalty in
an Omnibus.
Such is the extraordinary uneven surface of the
Island of Mull, that though it abounds in granite,
the very best material in the world for road making,
it bids stern defiance to the art of Macadam : at all
events, the day has not yet anived for the science to
be put in practice. The less is the wonder that,
anxious to hire a horse for an inland excursion, I
could find none but a long-backed pony of the cart
breed, accustomed only to carry creels of turf upon
his back from his infancy, so that in his old age he
rolled in walking like a dromedary, and was so inve-
terately attached to early friendships, that on meet-
ing perchance, no matter where, a troop of his old
companions, no power on earth could prevent him
from joining the drove ; wherefore, to riding on the
back of such a sorry beast, I preferred walking along
the edge of the bay.
The mountains which surround this beautiful basin
rise abruptly from the level of the shore, and extend-
ing at their bases in crags and rocky reefs, thence
take root as it were in the sea. Free passage is con-
CH. IX.] DOMAIN OF THE LAIRD OF COL. 141
sequently denied to the foot-passengers below upon
the beach, but an elevated side-path cut upon the
hill's side, and affording a most agreeable promenade,
supplies the aforesaid deficiency ; and this path, in
some places apparently natural, at others ornamental
and artificial, stretches both ways circuitously, a
considerable distance from Tobermory ; however,
having been kindly furnished by my landlady with a
key to the domain of the Laird of Col, I thither bent
my way. How brilliant is the pungency imparted
by saline particles to the vapid breeze ; the air was
replete with the purified exhalation of the sea, while
the sun's rays were reflected from unruflEled waters,
as of an inland lake. Here and there giant rocks
overhung the path, that meandered among nooks and
hollows ; shrubs and rich verdure sprouted from their
fissures, while the rugged precipice above, and the
smooth sea below, seemed to present the picture
of bluff honesty, conciliating by stern, upright de-
meanour, the temper of Fortune.
A slight rude fence and gate, constructed of young
fir poles, separates the domain of the Laird of Col
from the ad.iacent country. The gate crosses the
path, and the fence merely penetrates a little way
within the copse, as if it were necessary only to
shew, and not enforce, the line of demarcation ; in-
adequate certainly to repel the wilful intruder, but,
in a country where few are prone to invade the limits
of domestic privacy, sufl^cient to consecrate the sanc-
tuary. Within, a bridge of unfashioned logs is
thrown across a stream, sparkling at different spots
among the distant mountains, marking its tortuous
course by glittering cascades bounding downwards
from above ; and finally, by aid of a waterfall some-
142 A NATIVE EAGLE. [CH.
what enlarged by artificial means, making its last
plunge and flinging itself into the sea. Farther on
is a boat-house containing wherries, and affording a
commodious landing-place for excursions on the
bay. Approaching towards the mansion, as the
rocks appear less perpendicularly rising from the
path than before, the trees by their increased growth
make manifest a greater proportion of alluvial soil.
The more ancient tenants of these wilds, ash and
oak, here send forth from their ivy-grown trunks,
huge horizontal limbs that stretch across the path,
and from these latter, at right angles, rising perpen-
dicularly, grow other shoots that in size rival young
trees. As one proceeds still onwards, the hand of
culture by degrees prevails, blending gently and
almost imperceptibly with that of nature. Fir trees
at first appear among the wild tenants of the wood
at irregular intervals, till finally gravel walks diverg-
ing into open space, conduct the wanderer through a
shrubbery to the precincts of the lawn and flower-
garden. The mansion rests on the banks of a pic-
turesque lake, bounded on the opposite side by a
precipitous mountain, clad with fir trees to its very
summit, and calculated, from its extreme steepness,
to display the wonderful property in nature, whereby
the vegetative power, acting in the same line, though
in a contrary direction to gravity, instead of tending
towards the earth, points to the stars.
In chilling solitude, chained by the leg in an open
hut of heather, sat a native eagle, whose broad eye
became suddenly swollen and dilated at the appear-
ance of a visitor, retaining still, in captivity and
misfortune, its inflexible ferocity. In regal dignity,
a prisoner in chains, he sternly surveyed in the blue
IX.] PREPARING SALMON FOR LONG VOYAGES. 143
sliy and mountain heights, a lost kingdom, — in sul-
len pomp, like Napoleon in exile, or a fallen angel,
" Ceu Lucifer, non spe priorem revisurus locum."
I had an opportunity of witnessing within a small
building in the outskirts of Tobermory, the mode
there adopted of preparing salmon so as to keep fresh,
when packed in tin cases, for long voyages, an ope-
ration than which none can possibly be more simple,
so much so, that where fish are to be had, it may be
put in practice in any place and by any body ; and
in fact the artists in Aberdeen and elsewhere, whose
trade is thus to preserve provisions for sea, afford to
vend meat of all sorts, fish, and vegetables, at a price
so reasonable, that, considering the bone is extracted,
and nothing charged for the tin case, an ordinary
housekeeper might almost, from motives of sheer
economy, be tempted to become a purchaser. Pre-
served salmon especially, fetches at Aberdeen only
twenty pence a pound.
The building in question is merely a shed divided
into two compartments on a ground floor, between
which a door forms the communication of one with
the other. In the first of these chambers, the fish,
brought in baskets fresh from the sea, were thrown
in heaps upon the floor. Here two men were at
work, one of whom gutted the fish and handed them
to his companion. The other man standing at a
heavy table or dresser, seizing a fish dexterously in
his left hand, cut the head clean off' by a single sweep
of a broad knife, and then, turning it by a toss cleverly
round, whipped off" its tail in precisely the same
manner. Not less adroitly he divided the rest in
portions, as nearly as possible two pounds' weight
each. He then split each slice, dividing the belly
144 LIN'COLNSHIRE POULTERER'S ESTABLISHMENT. [CH.
part perpendicularly ; extracted the bone ; wiped it
dry with a cloth; shook a little salt npon it; rolled it
neatly round ; and placed it in an oval tin canister,
in appearance like those commonly used for contain-
ing gunpowder. The canister then being put into
the scales, the artist adjusted the weight, either more
or less as the case might be. Nothing more re-
mained in this apartment to be done, and the ca-
nister was handed to the man in the other chamber,
for the purpose of being closed. This operator was
employed continually in making the canisters, and
soldering them in the usual way, without any farther
care or precaution than is exercised by an ordinary
tinman.
Mere chance, after all, conducted me to the above-
mentioned building, of which the entrance being
open, I walked in ; in fact 1 should not probably have
observed it at all, but for the loads of fish on men's
shoulders then on their way from the boats, and the
abundance of refuse and offal that lay on the shore.
And thus, frequently, the identical cause that renders
a spectacle interesting to a stranger, becomes the
very reason that prevents him from seeing it, since
people are wont to imagine things necessarily unim-
portant to others, merely because the same have long
since ceased to be regarded as novel by themselves.
I was similarly indebted to the kindness of fortune
on another occasion, the particulars whereof I will
here introduce, not only in exemplification of the
foregoing remark, whereb}" I was w'ithin an ace
of passing through Lincolnshire without visiting a
slaughter-house of the native geese, but since the
subject I am upon is one of comestibles and pro-
visions for the table. Two years ago, while remain-
IX.] LINCOLNSHIRE POULTERER'S ESTABLISHMENT. 145
ing a day in the town of Boston, my attention being
then chiefly directed to the gigantic operations that
propel the stagnant waters of the fens in artificial
rivers to the sea ; I had intended to bend my way to
whatever spot I might see to the greatest advantage
the means and the effect, whereby the science of
drainage has there been conducted to so vast an ex-
tent. And having previously visited the noble old
church, whose eight spires, airily supported on Ian-
thorn arches, springing from an octagonal turret,
are only equalled by the architectural symmetry
within the building, where the whole aisle and tran-
septs, in unbroken space, and under one roof, are sup-
ported on lofty pointed arches of exquisite form, I
had nothing in fact else to do, when by mere chance,
as I have already hinted, my attention was called to
the red field of blood, whereon hundreds of poor
geese yield up their lives daily, and perish, gene-
ration after generation, for the benefit of mankind.
As I was strolling onwards in the direction of the
fens, I had hardly proceeded clear of the suburbs
of the town, when the busy hum of imprisoned
thousands, was borne upon the breeze, as of those
multitudinous throngs which, during the depth and
intensity of winter, are seen gallantly piercing the
snow storm in pointed column, and murmuring in
gentle cackle as they plod along. For a moment I
attentively listened, but a moment, to ears accus-
tomed to rural sounds, was quite sufficient to reconcile
localities, and account for the phenomenon. A few
minutes more conducted me to the very spot from
whence the sound proceeded, where, on a small plot
of ground, a quarter of an acre in extent, a drove of
five thousand geese were closely penned like sheep,
VOL. II. H
146 LINCOLNSHIRE POULTERER'S ESTABLISHMENT. [CH.
cackling tlieir sorrows to the winds, and awaiting
their melancholy doom. From a thousand to sixteen
hundred a week here die regularly by the hands of
the executioner, and, as I learnt upon making en-
quiry, that, according to arrangement carried into
effect by the proprietor of the establishment, three
days in every week, of which the morrow was
one, were set apart to slaughter, I made up my mind
to go the next morning accordingly, and witness the
ceremony.
Many a householder exists at the present day in
the united kingdom, who, whether his income be
large or small, and no matter what his religious
and political persuasion, in conformity with iiTefra-
gable custom, and under the auspices of our benevo-
lent King William, at least once in each year, at the
head of an obedient family, like a mail-coachman
mounted on the coach-box on a gala day, sits in the
pomp of conjugal and paternal authority, knife and
fork in hand, behind a fat, fragrant goose on Michael-
mas-day. But little does he reflect, while with glisten-
ing eyes and watering chops, his nostrils regaled with
exquisite odour, his chest inflated by the consciousness
of powerful digestion, his fore-arm resting horizon-
tally flat uj^on the table, and his implements pointing
upwards at right angles towards the ceiling, he pon-
ders and meditates on the first incision, while the
e^-es of his helpmate, roving anxiously around lest
the pinafores of their hungry offspring slip perchance
beneath their chins, with gesture more authoritative
than elegant he beckons backwards with his thumb
across his shoulder, and the perspiring handmaid
presents to him the steel ; while in anxious silence
the wife and children sit patiently watching his
IX.] LINCOLNSHIRE POULTERER''s ESTABLISHMENT. 117
motions and listening to the whistle of the bright
blade, and the brisk rat-tat-tat-tat-tat of the aforesaid
implement ; and finally, though the bird squeaks and
hisses on the table, as if it were alive, and the gravy
springs at the first cut from its bosom like a stream
of blood; — little does he reflect, I say again, as relates
to the juicy martyr on his board, upon that dismal
tragedy that I will now proceed to relate.
At ten o'clock the next morning, when I arrived
on the premises, two hundred and sixty geese had
been already barbarously assassinated out of six
hundred, the number on that day doomed to die.
The dead birds were all plucked, trussed, and laid in
order, neatly ranged on shelves, wherewith this, the
first and outer apartment, was suiTounded. The
said apartment communicated by an outer door
through the back yard of the premises by a series of
wicket gates, to the plot of ground already refen'ed
to, and also by partitions with two other chambers,
in one of which the geese were killed, and in the
other stripped of their feathers. In the first of the
two latter chambers, three boys were employed.
Tlie first boy, by virtue of his office, drove the geese
a dozen at a time from the grand depot into a pen
parted off in one comer of the apartment, and these,
batch by batch, were usually disposed of as quickly
as he could go to the depot and return. The second
boy, though in point of fact he acted thepart of ahang-
man,did nothing more than, taking each goose one by
one out of the aforesaid pen, prepare it for execution.
To this end, by a dexterous twist, he entangled to-
gether the pinions of the bird behind its back, and
inserted its legs in one of eight nooses that hung sus-
pended five feet from the ground against the wall,
II 2
148 LINCOLNSHIRE POULTEREK'S ESTABLISHMENT. [cH,
over a long trough which rested on the floor to
catch the blood. The third boy's business was sim-
ple and sanguinary, — merely that of cutting throats.
Of this young matador, though scarcely twelve years
old, the trenchant blade had not only passed across
the weasands of all those geese that had already given
up the ghost, but ere the sun had passed his meri-
dian, the death-cackle of the whole devoted six
hundred had sounded in his ears. His whole care
and attention was necessarily occupied with the
dying; though frequently unawares and in despite of
his best efforts, he received a flapping from a gory
neck, or a tingling stream of blood s|)irted in his eye;
whereat his countenance would gleam with a ludi-
crous expression of alacrity and surprise ; he would
then compose the limbs of his victims in death with
double diligence, yet only precisely so long as they
showed by fluttering, in their last moments, a disin-
clination to behave decently. Afterwards, he allowed
every goose to go out of the world in the best man-
ner it could.
So soon as a goose appeared thoroughly dead, its
legs were disengaged from the noose to make room
for another, when the defunct bird was tossed out of
the chamber of death, through a small square window
or aperture, that communicated with the plucking-
room. Here, behind a large table or dresser sat
seven men and one woman, upon low seats, enveloped
in a cloud of dust and down, and up to their hips in
feathers ; wherewith altogether they were covered
with such profusion, that among the eight individuals,
it was difiicult at first sight to point out which was
the woman. These people were paid for their labour,
as 1 was told, at the rate of a shilling a score, whereat
IX.] LINCOLNSHIRE POULTERER'S ESTABLISHMENT. 149
such is their dexterity and strength of thumb, that
some are able at the aforesaid price, provided they
have geese to pluck, to earn ten or twelve shillings a
day. As near as I could judge, a goose was plucked
naked as a needle in about six minutes ; a plump fat
bird at all events every forty or fifty seconds from either
one or other of the operators, was pitched heavily on
the dresser. Thus the artists, without favour or de-
lay, vigorously pursued their work, while the noise of
quills relentlessly ripped from their sockets, sounded
like the crackling of a faggot in a baker's oven, or
twigs snapped in twain by a lusty donkey, as he
bursts through a thicket.
Each goose so soon as plucked was pitched by the
plucker, as I have before observed, upon the dresser.
Hence it was removed by the man presiding over the
first outer apartment already mentioned, and then im-
mediately scientifically trussed and deposited on the
shelves.
After witnessing the various operations now de-
scribed, I paid a short visit to the premises in the rear
of these apartments, where a small steam-engine is
continually kept at work in the double operation of
grinding meal for the geese's food, and stirring and
pounding the same into a compost together with po-
tatoes. Three men, moreover, in the yard adjoining,
sap green as high as their waistbands, were hard at
work loading carts with shovels from a large heap
containing at least a dozen waggon loads of pure
goose manure.
The reader now will, I trust, have formed an
idea of a Lincolnshire poulterer's establishment, al-
though, than the one cited, there are others 1 believe
considerably more extensive. From hence the geese
150 RETURN TO OBAN. [cH.
are dispatched regularly to the London market, packed
in baskets containhig twenty-five birds each, of which
baskets twenty-five also make a waggon load, — in
weight, supposing each goose on an average to weigh
eleven pounds, upwards of three tons. The waggons
are forty-eight hours on the road, and the cargoes, on
their amval, consigned to salesmen, are disposed of
to the poulterers.
Returning by the Highlander to Oban, the Maid
of Morven, in the intervening time since I left her at
that place, had performed the remaining part of her
voyage to Inverness, returned to Glasgow, and now
once more from the latter city, true to her point of
rendezvous at Oban, was on her way to the North.
I say true to her point of rendezvous, and so the
Maid of Morven was, but though the Highlander ai*-
rived in the bay in confonnity with general an'ange-
ments precisely at the hour of noon, the other was
farfiom punctual in respect to the time. Wherefore
the passengers reaped no manner of benefit from the
captain's alacrity, and with regard to the other opera-
tions in progress, it began moreover to appear, that in
comparison with the remaining portion of the whole
excursion to Inverness from Glasgow, the agreeable
part of the voyage was already over.
Matters seemed to be conducted even more un-
tidily than before on board the Maid of Morven, for
the vessel had again brought from Glasgow a heavy
cargo, and, in addition to the multiplicity of business
on hand in shipping and unshipping unwieldy goods,
confusion was increased by the absence, and ap-
parently the non-interference of any presiding au-
thority ; and finally, without redress, and in a state of
appalling uncertainty, we remained no less a period
IX.] TEDIOUS PASSAGE TO FITZWILLIAM. 151
than five hours and a half at Oban. At last the cap-
tain made his appearance at the water's edge accom-
panied by a small posse of wrangling companions.
Some dispute, it appeared, had taken place about the
cargo, whereupon he was heated, womed, and out of
temper. Apparently anxious to be rid of the liti-
gants, no sooner had he placed his foot on deck than
the impatient waving of his arm caused the tinkling
bell to ring, and then in fierce and gloomy silence
betaking to his mull, the Maid of Morven waddled
out of the harbour.
A brief outline henceforward will be sufficient of a
tardy, heavy, and laborious peregrination ; an expe-
dition attended from beginning to end by delay and
disappointment, and marked altogether by such total
absence of all manner of comfort, that not even the
majestic presence of Ben Nevis and the adjacent
scenery, could compensate the deficiency. What-
ever, as a national work, be the demerits of the
Caledonian canal, or the want of return hitherto re-
ceived for the outlay, it cannot at any rate I think
be denied, that it were a disgrace to England not to
have completed by art a water communication so
nearly carried through by an extensive chain of fresh
water lakes, and huge mountains cloven by the hand
of nature, fi*ora sea to sea. And 1 think, moreover,
that this great work, whatever be the grounds whereon
the northern circuitous passage in the case of vessels
of adequate tonnage, has never been relinquished in
favour of the inland navigation ; were it only with a
view to the advantages of communication afforded
thereby between the Highlands and their capital, will,
after all, in the end, yield the public compensation.
Wherefore it is consolatory to reflect, that although
152 TEDIOUS PASSAGE TO FITZWILLIAM. [CH.
a temporary monopoly of the steam navigation may
inflict discomfiture on those persons who travel
merely for the purposes of pleasure, — yet, from the
very instances already cited of inconvenience and
delay, the consequence of overloading the Maid of
Morven, — is to be traced the unquestionable germ
of future wealth and prosperity to the poor of the
Highlands.
A great deal, in relating the troubles of life, may
fortunately be expressed in few words ; which maxim
I shall keep specially in view as I pass over cate-
gorically and succinctly the events of this and the
succeeding day. The entire period from half-past
five, when we set steam at Oban, till half-past eleven
at night, was expended in heavily labouring along
that arm of the sea called Linhe Loch, and which
extends as far as Fitzwilliam. Even at the latter un-
seasonable hour the passengers were not permitted
to go on shore, but, on the contrary, constrained to
remain on board amid the hoisting and trundling
barrels to and fro, besides other attendant nuisances of
disembarkation. We then slowly moved to the com-
mencement of the first artificial cut of the Caledonian
canal, and entered the first lock of the great series
called Neptune's Staircase. Here, at nearly one
o'clock in the morning, all the passengers were turned
out of the vessel to make the best of their way on
foot, a mile and half along the towing path of the
canal, to the place of the night's repose ; and since
we were thirty or forty persons altogether, and the
point of destination merely a small alehouse, inca-
pable of providing beds for half the party, it followed
that those who possessed long legs turned the same
on the present occasion to special account. With
IX.] A HANDICAP IN THE DARK. 153
fair prospect of success, I would in former days have
immediately started in the handicap, yet I derived
equal satisfaction, perhaps, without the means of
serving myself, in rendering a little assistance to
others. I therefore attached my fortunes on the
way to a married couple, travelling en suite with
all their incumbrances, that is to say, two nursery
maids, and four or five young children. Of these
I carried one, a little creature of two years old,
in my arras ; a short period of time, and distance,
one would think hardly worthy of being considered.
Nevertheless, during the aforesaid space of a mile
and a half, I found my right arm, from the want of
usage in the office, ache most grievously. Mean-
while the infant, lost in the placid intensity of sleep,
appeared to me to gain everj' five minutes succes-
sively a year's growth in weight.
Arrived at the inn, as might be anticipated, not a
bed was to be had ; the first comers being all served,
none remained for the last. Nevertheless, thougli
sleep be the unbought gift of heaven, I found means
to purchase it on the present occasion ; and by the
aid of a fee properly applied, was introduced to a
parlour below stairs, occupied by a party of whiskey
bibbers, who by dint of drink, and tobacco, and spin-
ning long yarns, were already nodding and pros\'.
In conformity with arrangements, they received notice
to depart, and in a few minutes, I was alone in the
room, extended at length on three chairs placed in a
row, to rest for the night.
The Maid of Morven having performed progress
through the remaining locks of Neptune's Staircase
during the night, at half-past seven o'clock the
next morning we were summoned to embark, thus to
h3
154 FALL OF FOYERS. [cH.
commence the labours of another day. The extra-
ordinary dimensions of this artificial cut, one hun-
dred and twenty feet at the surface, fifty feet at the
bottom, and twenty feet deep ; the banks moreover
descending for the most part by a regular slope from
the mountains, as of a natural river, display to the
sight as a work of art, a magnificent spectacle ; yet
the sluggish stillness of the water, and the insuffi-
cient steam-power of our vessel, retarded in a com-
bined degree our toilsome progi'ess. At a quarter
before two we reached Fort Augustus, performing
the distance twenty-nine miles in six hours and a
quarter ; and here having five locks to pass, the
period of delay was extended to an hour and a half.
At half past three we started again, having now thirty-
two more miles to go.
The paddles of the Maid of Morven now continued
unceasingly to buffet these inland waters, till we ar-
rived at that point on our way immediately opposite
the celebrated Fall of Foyers. Here the steam was
let off, and we lay to, according to established custom,
in order to allow all those passengers inclined to avail
themselves of the opportunity, to visit the waterfall.
The favours of fortune on this inauspicious day, in
every separate instance relating to the expedition,
were sparingly bestowed. The identical cataract,
that in other seasons, nourished to the plenitude of
its strength by the winter's floods, and engendered
amid the chaos of mist and foam, bounds like a
raging lion from his den, now dribbled lazily through
the inverted arch, its aperture, a mere garden cascade.
Nevertheless, in our progress to and from the boat,
notwithstanding our present disappointment arose
from drought, we were doomed, during our walk, to
IX.] FALL OP FOYERS. 155
penance caused by stormy weather. A steady miz-
zling rain, had some time since set in, whereby as we
passed through the thickets we unavoidably came in
contact with large still drops of water as big as peas,
wherewith the twigs of the bushes were heavily laden,
and our shoes were thoroughly saturated by grass
under foot, wet enough wherever we trod to drown a
snipe.
At half-past ten o'clock at night, after accomplish-
ing in the two succeeding days, taking the voyage
from Oban throughout, twenty-three miles by tlie
ai'tificial canal, and thirty-seven miles by the natural
lakes, we finally cast anchor one mile distant from
the town of Inverness. Here, on every voyage, as
the steamer proceeds no farther, she remains all night,
and departs the next morning on her way to Glasgow,
thus avoiding the labour and delay of passing the
intervening locks between the resting place and
Inverness.
A capacious omnibus was here awaiting our arrival
to convey us to the end of our journey, into which
carriage persons recklessly crowded to the imminent
danger of it upsetting ; for since it was incapable of
containing more than half the present party, personal
safety, owing to the lateness of the hour, was sacri-
ficed for the sake of expedition.
Having fortunately or unfortunately obtained au
outside seat, among the first detachment, 1 am pre-
cluded from the necessity of relating the further
adventures of the rest of the travellers, who remained
pacing backwards and forwards on the towing-path
of the canal, like ghosts on the banks of the Cocytus,
till the return of the vehicle. But I may observe as
relates to myself, on the present occasion, that not-
156 ROYALTY IN AN OMNIBUS. [CH.
withstanding we arrived without the slightest accident
at the point of our destination, and even before the
Inverness clock struck eleven were received by the
sleek rosy landlord of the Caledonian hotel, I never
remember in any other wheel carriage, and within
equally short space of time and distance, to have
encountered more peril.
An infernal machine, it might really and truly be
called ; like Charon's leaky boat, groaning under
surplusage of substantial perishable lumber, and like
Charon's boat particularly, inasmuch as it was
laden indiscriminately, in total disregard and disre-
spect of persons. Literally speaking, among auld
wives, Highland swains of every degree, wearers of
the kelt and fillibeg, especially one ambulating per-
former on the bagpipes, or doodlesack as the instru-
ment is provincially termed in this part of the country,
no less than a royal personage, such is the uncertain
will of fate, sat inside, crammed and squeezed pro-
miscuously with all the rest, among the heteroge-
neous group. Prince Adalbert, brother to his majesty
the king of Prussia, then travelling incognito in the
guise of a private English gentleman, was among the
passengers brought by the Maid of Morven from
Glasgow to Oban, and submitted without murmur to
all those miseries of peregrination, which, in the
detail of the present voyage, I have laid before the
reader. And I recall to mind with feelings of plea-
sure, that in numerous instances on the way, without
knowledge of the prince's high rank and station, I
witnessed his affability and benefited by his convers-
ation. At the period I am relating, while sitting on
the box of our ponderous and preponderating vehicle,
whose weak springs wei'e well nigh weighed down
IX.] ROYALTY IN AN OMNIBUS. 157
by gravity and oscillation, and whose still weaker
horses were driven helplessly scudding on their
haunches down a steep descent ; while I looked at
our coachman, a small Scots boy, not exceednig in
weight a good sized Norfolk turkey ; and finally
while I cast a glance on the prince's tall aide-de-
camji, sitting in the middle between us, enveloped in
an ample blue cloak, his mustachios curling towards
the moon ; — while I regarded all these sights, I say,
and thought of difficulties and discomfitures from
which not even royalty itself is free, my imagination
for a moment wandered towards the many tinted alle-
gorical picture of the ancients, that symbol of mor-
tality and immortality, the stagnant lake,
" Scilicet omnibus
Enaviganda sive reges
Sine inopes erimus coloni."
Princes and farmers squeezed together, glide in
A " bus," fit coach to t'other world to ride in.
CHAPTER X.
ISLAND OF GUERNSEY.
Landing at St. Peter's Port — Yacht Club Hotel — Inns in gene-
ral — A Pair of Hostesses — A President of a Table d'Hote —
The Fish Market — The Shambles — Woodcocks — Wines,
Fruits, and Flowers — Gardens — Frugality of the Inhabitants
— Female Servants.
Having set apart a few clays for the purpose of a
visit to the island of Guernsey, I unfortunately, on
the evening of a grievously bad night, departed on
the voyage, leaving Southampton in the midst of rain
and fog, at six o'clock p. m., after which it came on
to blow hard ; so that for the space of nearly fifteen
hours the passengers of the rolling Atalanta were
exposed to the infliction of a storm at sea. The most
interesting object visible on our arrival was a huge pla-
card, bearing the words "Yacht Club Hotel" inscribed
on a board, affixed in the way of a sign to the side of a
house, on an elevation not far distant from the water's
edge, and which arrogated pre-eminence in favour of
the principal inn in the town of St, Peter's Port.
Thither, accordingly, at nine o'clock, on a bright,
sunshiny summer's morning, we had no sooner
landed on the quay than we bent our way.
I think I never happened to find myself among a
less amiable looking set of companions than those
apparitions newly risen, who, many now for the first
time, encountered the light in disordered dress — a sort
of hospital costume — and formed a deplorable pro-
CH. X.] YACHT CLUB HOTEL, lof)
cession. To the inn, accordingly, a crowd of passen-
gers, extremely selfishly inclined, the weakly wailing,
and the sturdy growling, — like a herd of unclean
spirits, all repaired for consolation.
I was certainly at first sight disappointed by the
appearance of an inn in Guernsey, where generally,
it may be observed, an unseemly feeling of inde-
pendence strikingly prevails among the proprietors ;
besides, the arrival of the packet from Southampton
being the signal of departure of the same vessel im-
mediately for Jersey, an extraordinary ebullition of
contrary interests necessarily takes place among a
mixed crowd of going and coming travellers. The
Atalanta remained at the quay sufficient time only
for exchange and preparation, all which business was
effected in half an hour, during which period the
Yacht Club Hotel was in a state of turmoil and con-
fusion ; each person kej^t a sharp e3'e on his own
luggage ; and in the meantime, while admittance to
all the apartments was denied till the present occu-
pants had abdicated their rights, the latter seemed
without reason and vexatiously to maintain posses-
sion. The stranger, though deprived of actual com-
fort at an inn, has an unquestionable right to a
comfortable welcome, and the landlord, with relation
to his guest, certainly mistakes his position, so long
as he arrogates in the exercise of his functions an
authoritative demeanour. Civility, that costs nothing,
gains him real respect, and meekness and benevo-
lence are the groundwork of a host's vocation. The
inns at St. Peter's Port are unquestionably bad ; but
it is an extraordinary fact, that the evil is actually
engendered of liberality, arising out of universal hos-
pitality, the characteristic of the inhabitants, wlio
IGO A PAIR OF HOSTESSES. [CH.
invariably bestow abundant good cheer on the worthy
and well-recommended, and allow a visitor, so soon
as once received in their houses, marvellously few
opportunities to visit an inn. For my part, I had the
satisfaction of finding an early friend and acquaint-
ance hap])ily married in these regions, from whom
and his brotherhood I received unbounded hospitality,
regularly dining with one or other of his family every
day in succession, and leaving in perspective many
feasts untasted when I went away. For five daj's I
tarried, and rambled about the island, universally
gratified by sights of content, peace, and happiness
within its shores, and edified by associating with a
thrifty but generous people, enjoying under a genial
climate, at cheap cost, and in high perfection, the
luxuries of civilization.
Arrived at the Yacht Club Hotel, and previously
to going abroad on a local excursion, a difliculty
stood in my way at the first onset, on undertaking
the process of installation, since a congregational
system prevails at the inns, whereby the inmates of
the house occupy generally double bedded rooms,
and assemble daily at dinner at a two o'clock ordi-
nary. I acceded to the latter arrangement, but
strenuously objected to the former; wherefore, not-
withstanding I yielded one point out of two, I
committed an act of nonconformity in the eyes, of
two fair ladies, my hostesses, such as entailed upon
me a little world of trouble before 1 was enabled to
retrieve my position in their good graces.
These two personages, mother and daughter,
might indeed, as well as good looking, both fairly
be called young ; for time had dealt mercifully
with the former, and disappointments of a deli-
X.] A PAIR OF HOSTESSES. IGl
cate nature cast a shade of reflective gravity on
the countenance of the latter. From a desire to
preserve her own good humour, or merely per-
haps for the sake of following a mother's example,
at a very early period, it appeared, she had provided
herself with a husband ; but unfortunately, since in
leading a horse to the well consists not the secret of
obliging him to drink, so, if report said true, the
said husband, at the time I am speaking of, what-
ever may have been the domestic history in point, at
any rate was not there ; in short, the young lady was
said to be what is generally denominated a widow
bewitched, and at this period, with her mother,
both gaily dressed, both captivating, and, in point
of appearance, readily to be mistaken for sisters,
lived together in strict propriety, and jointly occu-
pied the bar of the hotel.
Against the united force of these two ladies, each
capaV)le, by the power of her individual tongue, of
sustaining the field against a host, and both deter-
mined to meet with fatal opposition my request of
private apartments in tlieir house, it was my arduous
task to proceed, if indeed progress in argument be ad-
mitted to exist where one person remains passively
silent, and listens to a torrent of eloquence from the
opposite party. To negotiate with pretty women is
always an extremely difficult matter, and especially
when the subject happens to be in an opposite line
of direction with their own interest; vokibility of
tongue in such a case sustains the most questionable
premises, and serves to bind tight a preposterous
conclusion, no matter how many links be wanting of
the chain of the reasoning. My fair antagonists,
talking vehemently both together, had an invincible
16-2 PRESIDENT OF A TABLE d'HOTE. [cH.
fashion of relieving each other hke the double acting
tube of a bellows in an iron foundry, so that as soon
as one became fairly exhausted, the other immediately
took up the parole, and then she that stopped for want
of breath merely paused for a few seconds to refit her
curls, and began again. Having strenuously main-
tained that the Yacht Club Hotel was, and ought to
be, a model for all other hotels in the known world,
finally, in part relenting, they consigned me to out-
lodgings at a milliner's hard by.
On this, my first day in Guernsey, I dined on the
one solitary occasion at the table d'hote. There
were assembled a dozen persons or more, but of
what grade or description, whether commercial tra-
vellers or residents, I cannot say ; however, the pre-
sident was a stranger, who having remained in the
town many days, or weeks for aught I know, appeared
either from predilection to dinner society, or an affi-
nity to the juice of the grape in his nature, to have
tumbled par excellence, very appropriately into the
office. Of men, like horses in a meadow, always
some one or other is disposed voluntarily to take the
lead, and it may be confessed, on roads more rough,
and paths more thorny, than the flowery, meander-
ing track within the precincts of gentle Bacchus,
most judiciously selected by the above individual.
At all events a degree of sympathy of interest neces-
sarily existed between the functionary and the
landladies ; for while a strong head and sound di-
gestion enabled him to set a good example, the
kindliness of his looks induced others of his compa-
nions to swill as much wine as their skins would con-
veniently hold, or their purses pay for. His counte-
nance, it is true, reflected none of his thoughts, even if
X.] PRESIDENT OF A TABLE D'HOTE. 163
ever he had any, yet his was a broad, brown, happy
face, and remarkably small and twinkling was his
black eye. Though the party were chiefly young
men inclined, for the most part, to yield their opinions
and gastronomic tastes altogether to his guidance,
not a word did he find it necessary to say in the
course of his duty, nor ever detain the bottle for a
moment in his grasp ; an intelligent wink was usually
sufficient to push it forward in its orbit ; and even
in extreme cases of inattention to the ceremony, a
gentle elevation of the right elbow, or a nod to the
left hand sidewise over his shoulder, never failed to
produce the proper effect. Whenever he lifted to
his mouth the glass, which he filled regularly to the
brim at every solstice of the bottle, the rosy draught
rolled over his projected under lip, down his throat
in a continuous unbroken stream, swallowed appa-
rently without the slightest muscular effort, while his
russet cheeks beamed with reflected light, marking
its progress like the sun's rays at setting, and indi-
cating a genial warmth towards the centre of the
system. * * -* * *
The trouble of a voyage to St. Peter's Port is amply
repaid, were it only to witness an epicurean spec-
tacle on an enlarged scale, such as few provincial
towns in the British dominions can boast ; a sort of
Elysium piscatorium, where the finny tribe on a hot
summer's day, assorted in exuberant variety, on well-
watered blocks of black polished marble, delight the
senses of the gourmand with their cool, refreshing
fragrance. Of course, I simply mean to allude to
the fish-market.
Within a high, aiiy building, amply lighted by
skylights i)i the roof, forty stalls, twenty on one side
16-1 THE FISH-MARKET. [CH.
and twenty on the other, suppHed each by a pipe
with pure cold water, are ranged in order. The
slabs whereon the fish ai'e laid are, I have said, of
black marble ; however, though such at first sight,
when welted, is the appearance, the material is rather
grey, and identically the same whereof is composed
the breakwater at Plymouth. The beneficence of
the ocean as regards this important article of food
and luxury, is really here extraordinary. On the
present occasion, the various sorts exposed for sale
created a sight such as I have seldom in my life wit-
nessed, whereof the particulars, by no means un-
common, will serve to render a fair specimen of the
supply on any ordinary day. In the first place,
shining like silver, lay smelts, unusually large, with
liberty to pick them at two-pence a dozen. Equally
cheap in proportion were well grown turbot, and
soles, double the ordinary size : add to these mullet
both red and grey ; cod and whitings, herrings
and mackarel ; john-dory and gurnet ; rock-fish and
bream; lobsters, crabs, and crawfish; plaice, brill,,
and sand-eels. Besides monsters of the deep, for
which I really am unprovided with names; among
others the huge conger, of which, by the way, the
Guernsey people make very excellent soup, and here
and there,
" Horrens capillis ut marinus asperis
Echinus," —
the sea hedge-hog. — All these I saw at one and the same
time, for the most part flapping and floundering still
alive, the produce of the labour of the small landed pro-
prietors of the island, who, ])ursuing a double occupa-
tion, plough not only the land but the sea, while the
X.] THE SHAMBLES. 165
wife also thriftily turns time to good account, and
appropriates her leisure hours to a trip to market.
Contiguous to the fish-market are the public
shambles. All private slaughter-houses being by the
municipal regulations strictly forbidden, the neces-
sary nuisance is thus confined to one spot ; neither
is a single butcher's shop suffered to exist in the
town. To the market consequently all the towns-
people resort for the article of fresh meat ; and every
butcher is moreover held amenable to the public in
peculiar regulations, being compelled by law to kill,
cut up, and dress carcases for private individuals, at
a prescribed rate, the same to be done in a work-
manlike manner, on receiving twenty-four hours'
notice. The artist is moreover obliged to take out a
license previous to exercising his vocation, and liable
to a certain penalty in every case of failure.
Good poultry is to be had in abundance, and at a
reasonable rate. Of game, the produce of the island,
there is little or none. Woodcocks, during flight-
time at particular seasons of the year, appear in con-
siderable numbers, and though their advent is alto-
gether precarious, uniformly meet a warm reception ;
for no sooner is the arrival of a long beak made
known in the island, than every sportsman, young or
old, is on the alert, and a posse comilatns sally forth
armed with every sort of implement of death, from a
militia musket to a horse pistol ; neither do they re-
turn to their homes sated with destruction till the
last bird of the persecuted squadron has winged its
departure.
The climate of Guernsey cherishes with the highest
degree of congeniality, wines, fiTiit, and flowers.
The former, in mellowness and flavour, far exceed
166 WINES, FRUITS, AND FLOWERS. [CH.
those usually met with in England, and as to the
port in particular, I was strongly reminded of the
beverage I have tasted heretofore on the banks of the
Douro, soft, smooth and oily, and enriched with a
smack of Burgundy. I need hardly remark on the
difference between the pure liquor drawn from the
but, and the same compounded with agoa ardente
for the London market ; so that 1 draw a comparison
between the former, and wine that is to be had in
Guernsey.
The fruit spread, even on ordinary occasions, on
the hospitable board after dinner, is here sufficient
both in quantity and quality to astonish a new comer.
Peaches, nectarines, apricots, grapes, apples, pears,
and among these the magnificent chaumontel, are
devoured as a matter of ordinary habit, in such pro-
fusion, that one's thoughts necessarily revert to those
happy days of boyhood, when of apples, the contents
of a hat was no immoderate measure of an everyday
appetite, when one ate fruit the better part of a morn-
ing against time with utter impunity, and after being
fairly clogged up, so long as the weary teeth were
refreshed by a bite of gingerbread, began again. In
short, a sumptuous dessert such as is provided in Eng-
land only in great houses and on great occasions, is
seen in Guernsey almost every day, and people usually
eat five or six large peaches*, instead of one.
The brilliancy of flowers during the summer months
here, where every plant displays extraordinary vigour,
is particularly remarkable to an English eye, and
their cultivation offers untold hours of delight to the
liorticulturist. Surely the pleasures of a flower-
garden are among the rational resources of an elegant
mind, whereby not only are the senses continually
X.] GARDENS. 167
gratified, by parterres blazing in all the fragrant
splendour of nature, but interesting communion is
held with vegetative life, the most simple and most
early source of human enjoyment. The gardens of
Guernsey form a striking feature in the prospect as
seen from a ship at sea, when arriving at the island ;
and the abundance of glass, reflecting the sun's rays
from the roofs of the green-houses scattered among
the high clean looking white houses one above
another, on ground rising immediately from the sea-
shore, exceeds ordinary proportion. Of the aforesaid
space, since the old town with nan-ow streets is
small, by far the most extensive portion is covered
with suburbs ; wherein comfort and independence
as to the disposition of the dwellings has been con-
sulted to an eminent degree. Every house, although
within the precincts of a town, has the advan-
tages of a rural abode ; and whatever be the ex-
tent of the premises, is enclosed by a garden-wall,
that renders it an isolated domain. These garden-
walls, relieved by green trees here and there, bound
the way on either side, forming lanes, or passages,
or thoroughfares, whatever may be the denomination,
which serve as streets, and afford the principal
means of communication through this portion of the
neighbourhood.
Domestic comfort, as relates to internal aiTange-
ments, is no where than on this soil better understood,
and the dimensions of the island are at the same
time so limited, as to render farther considerations
almost unnecessary. Profuse expense is actually dis-
countenanced by the manners of the people, and the
example of frugality is attended with still better
effect than in large communities. Even horses and
168 FEMALE SERVANTS. [CH.
carriages on a spot where short distances only are to
be traversed, where idleness is at a discount, and
where daily loiterers become tired of seeing each
others' faces on the promenade, gradually sink into
disrepute, and are less cared for. Of close carriages,
at least in use, there are I believe none in Guernsey,
nor even of four-wheeled one-horse vehicles, more
than half a dozen kept for private purposes. Thus
the circulation of expense, in every establishment
passes slow through the extremities, and tends in
increased force to the vital organ of the household.
One particular deviation from general custom is con-
spicuous in Guernsey. In by far the greater portion
of houses, whether great or small, whether on espe-
cial or common occasions, the duties of the table are
chiefly served by women ; that is to say, although
men-servants are occasionally employed, the employ-
ment of women in the offices of house steward,
maitre d'hotel, butler, or lacquey, sanctioned by imi-
versal custom, is not considered incompatible, as it
would be with us, with the other branches of a first
rate establishment. Even of the highest families of
Guernsey, the menage compared with England is
limited ; equal perhaps in general appearance of
house, furniture, plate, pictures, and bijouterie to
that of an individual possessing three or four thousand
a-year. As on gala days among the heathen gods,
the cup-bearer was a female, so as far as I can per-
ceive the services of women are not in anywise
derogatory to good taste or domestic splendour.
Certainly the duty of waiting at table can be no
w^here better perfonned than by the clever, quick,
active, lynx-eyed females in Guernsey, where sacri-
fice, if made at all, is offered at the shrine of comfort,
X.] FEMALE SERVANTS. 169
to the discomfiture of the competitive spirit whereby,
in England, men like sheep that jump at sticks and
straws, put themselves to unnecessary pains in mat-
ters of trivial moment, and disregard difficulty or
peril so long as they can follow one another.
VOL. II,
CHAPTER XI.
Environs of St. Peter's Port — Farm-houses — Aspect of the
Country — Varech — Regulations relating to the gathering
thereof — Roads — Bridle path round the Island — The Cliffs
— Flat Shores at the Northern extremity — Land reclaimed
from the Sea — NaturaUzation of Sea Fish to fresh Water.
Comfort is no less remarkable in the interior of the
island than among the inhabitants of the town.
Since the dimensions are not more than eleven miles
in length, and from three to six in breadth, the dis-
tance to be traversed in a straight line in any direction
is necessarily inconsiderable ; but no matter to what
point of the opposite coast the traveller from St.
Peter's Port may choose to bend his way, comfort
everywhere prevails, and on both sides of the road
appear well-fashioned solid and respectable country
dwellings. The suburbs, expanding in the environs,
blend gradually with the rural domains ; the nume-
rous ornamental villas at the extremity yielding, by
such imperceptible degrees, to the substantial farm-
house, that it is really difficult to determine the exact
point where one has fairly taken leave of the town.
Every farm-house, encompassed by a good garden,
farm-yard, and orchard, and surrounded by shrubs,
such as the hydrangia, arbutus, scarlet fuchsia, and
myrtle, which here flourish in the open air, is a piece
of solid stone masonry, defended from the rain by a
coping of tile that overhangs the eaves. The anti-
quity of the furniture within, no less than the sub-
stantial appearance of things without, bears indisput-
able testimony on the part of the occupier to long
CH. XI.] FAKM-HOUSES. 171
undisturbed possession. In the few houses I hap-
pened to enter here and there, the goods and chattels
appeared universally the same, consisting of chairs
and tables of black glossy oak, books whose covers
from age might be supposed of the same material,
military caps, musquets, and other things emblema-
tical of militia service, and above all, a never failing
store of hams and bacon ranged on a rack attached
to the ceiling. One particular implement peculiar
to the island is to be found in every cottage, — a homely
description of sofa or pallet, covered with clean
oaten straw or pea-hawm, whereon the elder mem-
bers of the family refit their crazy joints during
the day, and the younger occasionally perhaps,
under particular circumstances only, are wont to
repose. The legs of this simple piece of furniture
are generally made fast in the floor, and since it is
seldom if ever dispensed with even in the mosthumble
dwellings, it cannot but appear to those inclined to
draw invidious compaiisons, that while our own
clowns in the alehouses, are subject to the grievance
of snoring at full length on hard oaken benches, the
Guernsey peasant reclines at his ease like a man of
fashion.
A high mound of earth surmounted by a strong
furze hedge, is the usual fence of the country, where-
fore the premises of a Guernsey farmer are as
impregnably fortified and secluded, as if he were the
owner of an estate and farm surrounded by a high
stone wall. The lover of the picturesque during an
inland walk is doomed to considerable disappoint-
ment; and as he wanders along restricted in the
view on either side, as if within a Devonshire green
lane, the extreme flatness of the country precludes
i2
172 VARECH. [CH.
hira as he proceeds from all future chance of variety;
for not a single elevated spot worthy of the name of
a hill exists within the compass of the island. Now
and then at rare intervals, on arriving at a gate, ano-
ther perhaps happens to be so placed in a straight
line beyond at the opposite end of the field, that the
prospect thus partially becomes a little extended, and
here probably he will observe occasional deviations
from our agricultural practice. Cows, for instance, in-
stead of roaming at large, are tethered in the meadows,
and parsneps in great abundance are cultivated as
an ordinary crop. Sea-weed called " varech" is used
as a manure, and gathered under municipal regula-
tions ; indeed, so violent is the scramble between the
contending parties, that peace officers are summoned
at the han^est or gathering. A day twice in each
year is set apart for this cei'emony, when neighbour
against neighbour, in brute strength and rivalry, con-
tend fiercely for this tribute of the ocean. Persons of
all ages, of different denominations and sexes, wives,
maids, and widows, married men, and bachelors,
leave and license by the proper authorities being
given, may be seen striving together indiscriminately
in the fury of competition, and, each anxious to pos-
sess him or herself of more varech than the other, if
not absolutely quarrelling and fighting, at least
tousling and tumbling one another up to their middles
in water.
Trees of considerable size, on either side of the
way, grow in the cross roads and lanes ; whereby the
general aspect of the country is improved, and many
secluded spots and nooks embellished to such a de-
giee, that the painter requiring a model for his art,
might here select many a sweet specimen of rural
XI,] PATH ROUND THE ISLAND. 173:
abode. The larger roads were also formerly planted,
and the timber had attained a goodly stature, but im-
mediately that the system of Macadam was intro-
duced in the island, the same were in consequence
cut down for the sake of ventilation.
A bridle-path close to the edge of the cliffs extends
the whole circumference of the island, and as the
cliffs are lofty, the land, though extraordinarily flat,
is sufficiently elevated above the level of the sea.
Mounted on an active pony, enjoying sunshine and
leisure, whether gazing seaward from the verge of the
precipice, gaily cantering along over the flat, green
sward, or putting the animal's powers to the test by
scrambling through nearly impervious ravines, here
at all events may be found, b}^ one inclined to wander,
an agreeable mode of passing a summer's day. Pro-
ceeding by the winding track from point to point,
from one craggy promontory to its neighbouring
brother, the vicissitudes of marine scenery succeed
in fantastic variety, while many projecting angles
attract a still deeper interest, as spots whereon the
remains are yet visible of ancient forts and batteries.
Reefs of rocks, huge and rugged, here and there
below, protrude above the surface of the ocean, rocks
of pure granite, the primary formation of the island,
which, exposed to an impetuous surf for succeeding
ages, have become hollow and jagged with age, per-
forated through and through with cracks and fissures.
From an elevated spot it is beautiful to observe these
rugged masses on a calm still day occasionally en-
tirely hidden under the glassy surface of the con-
tinually bounding sea, and then again protruding in
blank nakedness as the ground swell recedes. Now the
light green wave dashes against their base, and the
174 LAND EECLAIMED. [CH.
heaving waters cover the highest summit, again they
descend in a hissing, streaming, milky torrent, while
soft, feathery, frothy spray floats in detached por-
tions in the air.
Although such is for the most part the description
of coast of the Island of Guernsey, the shores at the
northern extremity are particularly low ; so much so
that until a late period, a considerable portion of the
country lay under water. On this spot may be seen
the result of an interesting experiment whereby the
late Sir John Doyle successfully reclaimed from the
inroads of the sea, a portion of land previously over-
flowed equal to upwards of six hundred statute acres,
all which territory at the present time lies under cul-
tivation. Few instances exist of an equally import-
ant operation performed at so little trouble and cost,
for the mound of earth thrown up for the purpose
was judiciously placed, and the natural accumulations
of sand and shingle, still continue to render the work
day after day more impregnable.
A landed proprietor on the spot has taken advan-
tage of localities in general, by maintaining a com-
munication between the said reclaimed land and the
ocean, to turn to account an experiment connected
with natural history. By means of an open water-
course passing from a small lake within, through the
mound or sea-wall into the sea, and a strong iron-
grating on the inside, contrived to admit the ingress
and egress of the tide, and to confine fish of moderate
size within the lake, several sorts of salt-water fish
have been by degrees subjected to the inundation of
fresh water. Scientific people have faith in the re-
sult; and certainly here sea-fish have lived and
thriven for weeks in succession, the sea being totally
XI.] SEA FISH IN FRESH WATER. 175
excluded by the sluice-gate, and the salt water suffi-
ciently diluted by fresh streams, to induce cattle
to drink it without hesitation.
Being introduced by a friend to the owner of the
lake, the latter kindly ordered a couple of men to
haul a drag net across to gratify my curiosity, the
water at the same time being so fresh as to be merely
brackish. The wind unfortunately was so unusually
high that the haul was unsuccessful ; the net more-
over was lightly shotted and the fish leaped clean
over it into the water, wherefore, though I saw many,
owing to being thus disturbed, about half a dozen
grey mullet only were brought on shore. From their
size and condition, since they had lived here some
weeks, one might fairly conclude, that their nature,
if not at first congenial, was reconciled to the fresh
pasture ; and I had a fiirther opportunity with refer-
ence to the same fact of adding a word as to their
firmness and flavour, having eaten of them the same
day, and found them excellent at dinner. Besides
the mullet aforesaid, turbot, plaice, and smelts, were
denizens of the same domain, all in equally prosper-
ous case and healthy. Serious devastation, the
proprietor infonned me, was occasionally committed
by fi-esh water eels, that large and ferocious, allured
by exclusive society, and finding their way nobody
knew how into the assembly, set to work on their
arrival without favour or cei'emony, and devoured
natives and foreigners together.
What a field of watery speculation would at once
be thrown open, were it ever deemed possible, as in
the instance above stated, though on a more extended
scale, thus to subject sea-fish to amphibious usage ;
and by the assistance of art or scientific persuasion,
176 SEA FISH IN FRESH WATER. [CH. XI.
to control their exuberant fecundity. The salmon
and the eel, pioneers of two distinct tribes, the scaled
and unsealed, in accordance with their nature at
certain seasons of the year or otherwise, leave the
sea to inhabit fresh rivers, which fact perhaps argues
capabilities of organization with reference to the
whole species, which, if put to the test, might be
farther extended. At any rate the subject creates
amusing speculation, with reference to making our
lakes and rivers receptacles for bringing the nations
that inhabit the world of waters into converse with
each other, and naturalizing of the animal kingdom
almost the only creatures not yet domesticated by
the hand of man. Thus cod and haddock may event-
ually learn to live in placid brotherhood with perch
and roach, and the wild salmon rub his silver sides in
amity upon the copper-coloured carp. In many parts
of England pure salt water reservoirs are already em-
ployed with advantage, but nttne that I know of have
yet effectually superseded the tanks of the London
fishmonger. Yet on many spots on the coast reservoirs
might be contrived of enormous dimensions, capable,
whether supplied by wind, water, or steam, with sea
water, of containing fish in almost unlimited num-
bers. It is extraordinary that, while every individual
in the kingdom is more or less interested in the dis-
tribution of this boon of bountiful nature, fishmongers,
almost without remonstrance, have maintained ab-
solute and continued monopoly, neither do the in-
quisitive or discontented trouble themselves to know
those details of combination, whereby an uncertain
supply is subjugated to certain demand, and large
quantities of fish abstracted and perhaps destroyed,
to prevent a glut in the market.
CHAPTER XIT.
Laws relating to the Descent of Property — Registration of
Estates — Formalities relating thereto — Curious Documents
in the GrefBer's Office — The Elizabeth College — Course of
Instruction — An Infant School.
Since the ancient laws of NoiTnandy relating to
the descent of property, obtain in the island of
Guernsey, whereby land descends among heirs male
in a species of gavelkind, the whole country is con-
sequently divided into small proprietorships ; and
the French language, though gradually giving way to
the English tongue among the inhabitants, is still
maintained in the proceedings of the courts of law.
Few people, especially those residing in the country,
are found wealthy, and where difference exists in pos-
sessions, it is in English and other funded se-
curities.
The tenures of estates, here minutely subdivided,
are divested of the ordinary bewilderment attendant
upon English landed property by a system of regis-
tration that has obtained for centuries, whereby the
Guernsey man, freed from the intricacies of title-
deeds, to say nothing of copyhold property and
manorial rights, is enabled by a summary process,
combining security with simplicity, to effect the
transfer of an estate for a sum of money in ordinary
cases not exceeding from three to five pounds. The
said process, from enquiries I made on the spot, ap-
pears to be as follows.
The terms of purchase of an estate arc no sooner
1 3
178 REGISTRATION. [CH.
agreed upon between the parties, than the buyer has
recourse to the office of the greffier, or general regis-
trar of the royal court of the island; the latter con-
sisting of the bailiff or chief magistrate and twelve
jurats. The said greffier, by virtue of his vocation,
draws up and enters into the books of register all
acts, orders, judgments, and sentences, preserving the
records thereunto belonging ; likewise all bargains,
mortgages, and sales of lands and rents ; delivering
copies under his signature to whomsoever required.
In conformity with the above regulation, at the
charge of one shilling, the registry of the estate in
question is produced for inspection, which registry
lays open and declares all manner of particulars re-
lative to mortgages, or in any way connected there-
with ; and thus ample insight is at once had by the
interested party, since no unregistered transaction
is legal or valid. The seller of the estate next pro-
duces his mortgage book wherein are entered the
acquittances for the interest paid on the mortgages,
and the buyer being satisfied on this head, the con-
tract between the parties is immediately drawn up.
With this document, usually comprised within the
compass of an ordinary sheet of paper, both
buyer and seller, together with the wife of the
latter if he be married, for according to the law of
the land she must be a party to the bargain, appear
in the presence of the bailiff and two jurats. These
three functionaries now affix their signatures to the
contract, which is then accordingly registered in the
said greffier's office, and both buyer and seller are
provided with copies, bearing distinct reference to
the page and folio. An amicable action at law is
lastly commenced, for the pui-pose, by a legal pro-
XII.] CURIOUS DOCUMENTS. 179
ceeding, of dispossessing the seller, and affording a
fuller confirmation of the registered transaction
by publicity ; the sentence of the court thence be-
coming an award of appropriation of the property
that rivets the bargain for ever and ever.
The royal court representing " the States of the
island," by which appellative the civil authorities of
Guernsey are distinguished, composed, as before stated,
of the bailiff, or chief magistrate, and twelve jurats
chosen for life, sits at St. Peter's Port at frequent in-
tervals during term time, and occasionally at sundry
periods thoughout the whole year. Three or four
jurats together with the bailiff are sufficient to form a
court, wherein the solemnity of an oath is restricted
to merely holding up the hand; the pleadings are
conducted by attorneys in the French language, and
the officers of the court are plainly dressed, bailiff,
jurats, and attorneys, neither wearing wig nor gown.
There are many curious documents in the greffier's
office, of ancient date, and in a state of high preserv-
ation ; among those that I saw were sundry charters
of Henry VIII., Edward VI., and Elizabeth. The
most interesting of all, however, is the jouraal or
day-book of the criminal court immediately subse-
quent to the period of the reformation. Herein may
be read at the present day, legibly written as on the
hour the ink flowed from the pen, the names and
sentences of martyrs who then perished at the stake.
Among the latter entries, is that of the condemn-
ation to death by fire of the unfortunate female,
celebrated in history for having given birth to an
infant in the midst of the flames. * * *
*******
Notwithstanding the privileges of the Elizabeth
180 ELIZABETH COLLEGE. [CH.
College are in some measure restricted to the sons of
natives of the island, many boys are sent continually
from England to receive their education at this
academical establishment and return home once a
year to remain during the midsummer vacation. One
of the under-masters on these occasions escorts the
juvenile detachment across the sea, landing either at
the ports of Southampton, Plymouth, or Weymouth,
from the two former of which, packets ply twice
a week during the summer, — from the latter, at
similar periods all the year round.
The Elizabeth College, founded originally by
Queen Elizabeth, was subsequently at the appli-
cation of the States of the island re-chartered by his
late Majesty King George the Fourth. From the
cursory view I was enabled to obtain of the establish-
ment, I have reason to entertain a high opinion of its
merits, audit has in fact been the means, as affording
cheap and excellent education, of inducing many
persons with large families, for the sake of obtaining
the advantages attendant uj)on residence, to settle for
an extended period on the island. For the sons of
persons resident, the college dues amount to no more
than twelve pounds a year, for which small sum they
receive all the advantages of tuition, boarding at the
same time w'ith their parents. The English boarders
before alluded to, are received at the house of the
principal at a stipend of sixty pounds a year, which
includes everything.
Every description of student, without distinction
of privilege, is admissible to the institution, except-
ing as regards the exhibitions annually competed for,
two or three of which are restricted exclusively to
sons of natives of the island. The rest are attainable
XII.] ELIZABETH COLLEGE. 181
by general scholars, who also derive other objects of
emulation in the distribution of medals and prizes.
A public examination, immediately after the mid-
summer vacation, takes place every year, which cere-
mony is conducted by two masters of arts of the
University of Oxford, specially elected by the heads
of Exeter, Jesus, and Pembroke colleges.
So far as I could learn, boys are quahfied for both
our universities according to the course of study
adopted at Eton and Westminster, and a better sys-
tem of instruction at the same time is introduced,
whereby the attention of the student, as occasion may
require, is either directed even exclusively to the
Latin and Greek classics, or in like manner even ex-
clusively to other branches of useful knowledge. As
is usual in most other schools, the day is divided into
three periods of study, and during all these pei'iods the
attendance of three professors is regular and uninter-
mitting. One professor attends to the Latin and
Greek classics, another to arithmetic and mathe-
matics, and the thii-d to the modern languages ; so
that an opportunity is afforded to the student of
directing his attention, ad libitum, either to one
or all these branches of study accordingly as his
parents may think fit, or the bent of his own mind
incline.
To my old Guernsey friend, I was indebted for an
introduction to the principal, from whom, in a few
minutes' conversation, I gathered the above particu-
lars ; he would kindly have furnished me with more
information, but I was unwilling further to intrude
on the leisure of one who had so little of leisure to
spare.
We afterwards strolled together about the town ;
182 INFANT SCHOOL. [CH.
having then no particular object in view ; however
my friend suddenly turned briskly round, and asked
me whether I would like to see the interior of an
infant school. I acceded immediately to the pro-
posal, and to the establishment we at once repaired;
wherefore we saw things divested of a holiday garb,
and as they exist every day.
Though the superintendents, a man and his wife,
upon whom devolves the care and tuition of at least
fifty or sixty small scholars, were by no means
in expectation of receiving visitors, we were freely
admitted to a clean and airy school-room, in form ob-
long, in size sufficiently large, and furnished at the
farther end with several rows of ordinary wooden
steps, falling towards the centre of the room, so as
to serve as seats or benches for the little pupils to sit
upon, one row above another.
The children were at this time in their play-ground,
and almost so soon as we arrived, a little bell rang to
summon them to their labour, when it were well if
those persons averse to the system of infantine dis-
cipline had observed the alacrity wherewith, con-
verting toil to pleasure, and eagerly anticipating a
feast of the mind as if it were one of the body, this
Lilliputian multitude rushed tottering and tumbling
in upon the heels of one another. On they came,
some, but few, six or seven years of age j by far the
greater number between two and three : old men in
miniature, waddling and protuberant, unsteady and
straddling, and exhibiting in their own little persons
a pathetic analogy between old age and infancy.
Even those of declining years and strength might
here draw a pleasing moral from a picture thus in-
structive, and learn, in the anticipation of coming
XII.] INFANT SCHOOL. 183
infirmity — that the sprightly impulses of youth
exist and are ever compatible with the feebleness
of age. However, as 1 said before, on they came,
making their way across the schoolroom with the
haste of firemen to a conflagration, each, for its own
part, as happy, I really believe, as any earthly
being whatever is permitted to be. Its energies
aroused— its bodily strength called into action — hus-
tled by its equals, and animated by mutual contention
— each individual child here stood forth to vindicate
its own privileges, and to buffet the world, mind
and muscle, entirely on its own resources. If
overset in its course by one, it was immediately
picked up by another, and the tear removed from its
eye by a third, as it hung smiling on the skirts of a
fourth ; and altogether they clambered over, and
rolled upon their stomachs among the benches at the
top of the room, to the discomposure of garments, and
exposure of infantine limbs and proportions, till,
partly by their own exertions, and partly by the
assistance of one another, they all speedily became
arranged, seated in order, attentive, and expectant —
some half dozen rows of partly serious, partly smiling
faces.
The business of the school, now about to commence,
was evidently an object of interest to the young as-
sembly, for all eyes were simultaneously directed
towards the pupil selected by the superintendent to
perform the lesson. Out of compliment, perhaps,
to the visitors, the biggest boy of all, and there was
hardly another like him, was selected on the present
occasion to take the book in his hand. Nearly
eight years of age, and towering above the rest in
stature, a leviathan amid little fishes, he held elevated
184 INFANT SCHOOL. [CH.
before his eyes, not a book but a board, whereon on
one side was pasted a collection of sentences from
the New Testament, and on the other a series of
proper answers to be given by the respondents. In
an audible voice he then read the first sentence,
when all, big and little, every child in the school-
room, responded thereto by acclamation according
to the written answer, taking the cue from the super-
intendent. The least infants of all, even those un-
able to articulate intelligibly, were not less ready to
add their endeavours to swell the volume of sound ;
and since children delight in noise, so their taste was
here gratified and turned to good account, by the
privilege at each answer of clapping hands. This
ceremony, whether well or ill done, was perfonned at
all events with wonderful glee ; and though some
little creatures clumsily failed to make their small
hands meet, they clapped a pair of fat arms together,
which did quite as well, ser^^ing to mark the time and
arouse the attention. In the mean time, the whole as-
semblage, with the exception of the reading boy, who
stood up, kept their seats on the benches as before.
One other member of the community I have omitted
to mention, a small dog — a long-backed, yellow
turnspit, out at elbows, with large, round, expressive
eyes, that sat on the benches, side by side with the
children, joint property apparently of all, had re-
ceived no doubt an accomplished nursery education,
and was perfectly versed in the ways of his young
associates. Caressed first by one, then by another,
and treated by all just as one of themselves, a mutual
understanding was founded on such amicable prin-
ciples between the parties, that really adult instinct
and infantine reason were placed in ludicrous con-
XII.] INFANT SCHOOL. 185
trast, and brought nearly to a level. Liberties,
however, restricted by canine regulations, were al-
lowed just so far and no farther, the dog himself
determining the limit, according to circumstances or
the caprice of temper ; on particular occasions suf-
fering himself to be dragged about by the tail, without
making the least remonstrance ; sometimes, on far
less provocation, by a wrinkle in the upper lip, shew-
ing signs of serious displeasure, but almost always,
if disturbed when rolled up round comfortably in a
ball, uttering a tremendous growl.
At the sound of clapping of hands, the faithful
quadruped reared himself on his tiny haunches, and
looked woful and wistfully at the ceiling ; for good
mannei's alone restrained a sympathetic effusion :
most willingly indeed had he barked, if he dared,
preserving silence entirely by aid of the moral sense,
or force of discipline, in spite of the vile nature that
was evidently struggling within him, to a degree that
caused every minute fibre, and responsive muscle in
his body, to writhe as if he were galvanized.
It were well to discover, either in the way of
knowledge borrowed of the learned, or experience
furnished by the owners of children, the exact point
when incipient infant reason ought properly, and
without undue severity, to be coerced by gentle
discipline; and since among other establishments
that the age has produced, infant schools offer a clue
to this investigation, it really did occur to me, after
viewing the spectacle already described, that a mo-
dified system of instruction on the same plan might
be farther extended. Such, at any rate, is the
rapid growth in a child of mental perception, and
such the early development of passion, that in a few
186 INFANT SCHOOL. [CH. XII.
short days the puling, tremulous cry, becomes a loud
angry scream, which the small newborn animal sys-
tematically now convei'ts to useful worldly purposes
and ends. Not more certainly does the Swiss
peasant, when he blows his horn, know his cow will
come and be milked, than the froward, querulous
baby, merely by using the means within its own
power, succeed in obtaining its desire, and learn,
before three weeks old, to bend a whole household
to its will. Whether or not, according to the present
nursery system of education, this humour be not
encouraged too far, is a question for those more
versed in the subject than myself to consider ; and
at least whether, as is the case with the children of
the poor, who either at infant schools or at their
own homes, experience a wholesome degree of re-
straint by freely associating together, a similar pri-
vilege might not be extended with equal advantage
to the offspring of the rich, whose doom at present,
gregarious creatures though they be, is to pass
months in infancy without the companionship of
their equals, and subject, under the dominion of an
aged nurse perhaps, to almost absolute solitude.
CHAPTER xnr.
IRELAND.
An Interruption — An Irish Crowd — A cheap Evening's Enter-
tainment — The poor Equestrians.
It was a remarkably fine, clear suiiimer''s evening,
when, after a rather uncomfortable journey, I stood
quietly gazing over the parapet of the bridge of
Athlone. As 1 looked downwards upon the Shannon,
the broad surface of that noble river was here and
there smooth as a mirror, or occasionally fretted as
the stream bubbled in contact with those abrupt
angular points that restrain its course, and compel it to
meander through a variegated series of rich pastures.
The cows stood still in the meadows ; the air was
filled with glittering insects ; the swallows dipped
gracefully in the water in chase of their small winged
prey, which sometimes the heavy splashing trout
would rescue from their grasp ; and nature all around,
cheered by the more genial rays of the sun on his
decline, exuberantly teemed with animal and vegeta-
tive life, till I became in such a degree absorbed by
the prospect before me, that I might just as well
have been in perfect solitude, as far as regards a
crowd of country people, whom now I perceived
making their way across the said bridge into the
town.
When I say I perceived, it were more correct to
express myself, I was made to observe, for my atten-
188 AN INTERRUPTION. [CH.
tion was roused from meditation or reverie by a
coarse hard punch of a fist or an elbow in the side,
that destroyed my equilibrium, and completely forced
me suddenly from my position. The words, " by
your lave," in the meantime sounded an apology in
my ears. To be startled is always annoying ; self-
accusation immediately succeeds on yielding to an
impulse of fear, and the act of an inconsiderate
stranger, who unnecessarily demolishes the web of
one's thought, offends still more ; — though the whole
fabric cost nothing in weaving, and when finished
be worth nothing after all, yet, during manufacture,
the toil is a pleasure, and the thread, like the severed
ends of a gossamer line, is gone for ever.
I had no sooner, roused and somewhat irritated
by the salutation, turned round in a hurry, than my
wrath quickly subsided at the greeting of the honest,
good-natured smile of a fat, healthy woman, who,
oppressed by the weight of a heavy child, and herself
in a violent perspiration, had merely possessed her-
self of an elevated resting-place whereon to place her
foot against the balustrades of the bridge. Hastily
drawing her fore-arm across to wipe her forehead,
and resting the infant upon a knee highly raised
against the balustrade, she had already commenced
her object in view by extracting several pins, and
making very necessary arrangements relating to
the little creature's clothes, for the purpose of
setting to rights sundry small matters that had gone
wrong. A poor woman with a baby is really an
object of compassion, for the service is one of per-
petual slavery ; the source of her pain, the alloy of
her pleasure, a tormenting burden by day and by
night, — she bears about with her wherever she goes
XIII.] AX IRISH CROWD. 189
a froward brat perhaps, that tardily, if at all, requites
a mother's care and affection. I would certainly
have rendered this woman assistance, but the office
was positively so extremely disagreeable, that I was
on a sudden constrained to turn round and walk
away.
" By your lave," is an expression at once signifi-
cant and urgent — a form of periphrasis for the pur-
poses of its application, in despite of the philologist,
difficult to be improved : in fact, it conveys a pro-
position, and at the same time concedes the right of
election ; that is to say, it offers an individual a
distinct choice, either to bundle immediately out of
the way, or stand still and be knocked down on the
same spot like a ninepin. In an Irish crowd, phy-
sical force speedily overcomes moral gravity; at least
the philosopher inclined to ruminate, must needs at
the same time be peripatetic, for, so sure as the
words "by your lave" are uttered, do what he will,
in spite of all his efforts to retain his position,
on he must go, with reason, moreover, to consider
himself remarkably fortunate, provided he happens to
know whither he is going. Such in fact was pre-
cisely my case, though I do not mean to say I am a
philosopher ; but I had fallen in with a crowd of
people, all going the same way, myself among the
rest, without being in anywise informed as to the
whence, whither, and wherefore. Anything to an
Irishman is a party of pleasure, whether the wedding
or the funeral of a neighbour, although the present
concourse, amongst whom time was in inverse pro-
portion to their small plots of potatoes, had left their
houses on a special occasion. A band of strolling
equestrians, lately arrived at Athlone, were on the
190 A CHEAP evening's ENTERTAINMENT. [CH.
present evening to afford the public an exhibition, of
which fact being apprised by one of the throng, I
readily made up my mind to be a spectator with
the rest.
The spot chosen for the hippodrome was the
butchers' shambles, whither we all straightway re-
paired en masse ; and here, since a pallisadoed fence,
and a door confined by a strong wooden bar had been
previously arrangedfor the express pui-pose of keeping
people out, we were accordingly all detained a con-
siderable time at the outside without being able to
get in ; whereat the boys grew restless and obstre-
perous, discomposing the women's dress as they
unceasingly shifted their position. No sooner, how-
ever, had the town clock struck the appointed hour,
than the said formidable bar being removed, we all
rushed in.
x\n elegant young woman, attired in a neat plain
dress of white muslin, was here seated to receive the
entrance-money ; beside her stood a young man in
the costume of clown, his face painted in alternate
streaks of red and white, as is usual at our theatres ;
and so soon as each candidate for the spectacle
had liquidated his fee of admittance, the latter of
these two persons lifted a low bar, whereon he kept
his hand, and accordingly let him in. These two
young people it appeared were sole proprietors, door-
keepers, and performers, having no other human
being whatever to assist them ; neither were any
placards published or bills issued relating to the en-
tertainment, so that I was a little surprised, and
indeed somewhat amused, to find, as I approached
the said bar, that the price of admission was only
one penny. Somehow or other the silly conceit for
XIII.] A CHEAP evening's ENTERTAINMENT, 191
the moment struck me, of receiving a whole even-
ing's entertainment at the small charge of a penny ;
and yielding thereto carelessly, I advanced onwards
in my place, and paid no more nor less — just a
penny. A melancholy glance of the poor young
woman's dark eyes seemed to cast a look of reproach
upon me as I paid the penny, whereof I felt the
reproof; and driven forwards by the crowd, was un-
comfortably chagrined, and soiTy thus to have trifled
with human son'ows, and stingily, as it were, con-
tributed not a jot more than the most ragged of
the spectators around me, when a piece of silver
might have afforded relief and consolation to the
truly indigent. But the present area was not, in
point of fact, a spot wherein to indulge in sober re-
flection, for since there was no sort of distinction,
whether box, pit, or gallery, every one had enough
to do to choose a position for himself, and afterwards
defend and maintain it. A circle for the performers,
covered with saw-dust in the usual manner, was pre-
pared in the middle : immediately behind the circle
two rows of people were seated on the ground, and
in the rear of these stood the rest of the assemblage,
which latter composed by far the greater portion,
and the most noisy. In a few minutes way was
made for the performers, who entered the arena, and
the exhibition began.
The first act of the drama was performed by the
young man before mentioned, who, without assist-
ance or human coadjutor of any description what-
ever, led forward by the bridle within the circle, a well
proportioned piebald horse, caparisoned with broad
padded saddle, bearing rein and surcingle. Having
19-2 THE POOR EQUESTRIANS. [CH.
arrived in the middle, and bowed to the spectators,
without a moment's delay he sprang as nimble as a
bird on the animal's back, starting oflf immediately
in a brisk canter, and fearlessly increasing the
pace by a few sharp strokes of the whip on his
withers. An universal shout burst forth among the
crowd, as the rider still urged the beast upon
his mettle, till, revolving with awful velocity, leaning
inwards towards the earth, man and horse seemed
wholly supported by the centrifugal motion ; and the
saw-dust from the heels of the latter filled, or half
filled, the open mouth of many a gaping spectator.
The human foim never appears to greater advantage
than when thus contending against so many, so
various and differently directed motions, it success-
fully maintains a graceful equilibrium ; and since the
performer was an adept in his vocation, and entire
novelty added to the effect at present of the spectacle,
the impression consequently created was such, that
boys, men, and women literally screamed with de-
light as the piebald horse gallantly persevered in his
orbit, and the equestrian, in figure a pattern for the
sculptor's chisel, continued to perform feats calcu-
lated to the very highest pitch to arouse their under-
standings. Now he was off, running by the side of
the steed; again, with one hand on the withers, he
sprang on the saddle, standing erect during topmost
career, or, on pointed toe, poised firmly, in attitude
a flying Mercury. Leaping over the whip, again
through the hoop, he performed in turn all those
specimens of agility that are by far too common to
need remark, were it not to contrast with minds
rejoicing in freshness, and drinking deep in the cup
XIII.] THE POOR EQUESTRIANS. 193
of novelty. Exhausted by a hearty course, the per-
former at last suddenly leaped on the ground, when
the piebald horse, obediently dropping his head, fol-
lowed to the centre of the circle, gave himself a
violent shake, and, rubbing his forehead forcibly
against his master's bosom, received caresses from
many an admiring spectator. Turbulence had now
utterly perished in the midst of the general satisfac-
tion testified in all quarters to the praise of both
horse and rider, and congratulations were accord-
ingly delivered with native warmth of heart and
forcible expression.
The exhibition had already, one would have ima-
gined, far exceeded in quantity and quality the
amount reasonably to be expected at the charge of
only one penny, when another act of the perform-
ance was immediately announced to follow. Again
the piebald horse, wind and vigour refreshed, made
his appearance in the arena. The young woman
now, with a peculiar air of timidity, preparing in
turn to contribute to the entertainment; was with
difficulty assisted by her husband on the back of
her piebald palfrey, gathered the reins like a novice
in her hand, reared herself unsteadily on her feet,
and set forward round the circle in an extremely
gentle canter. It was at once evident, from her
pale cheek, cowering attitude, and terrified coun-
tenance, that she was a totally unpractised per-
former, and accordingly, in the course of a couple
of minutes, crouching still lower and lower, though
the young man kept assiduously running at her
side, nature totally gave way. She was again on the
ground, and the effort confessedly a failure.
I bade adieu to the performance, and went home to
VOL. II. K
194 THE POOR EQUESTRIANS. [CH. XIII.
my inn, leaving the fainting woman, her black hair
broken loose, surrounded by an eager crowd of
her own sex, who, partly from true kindliness of
nature, and partly from curiosity to know precisely
what was the matter, hardly allowed the sufferer
room to breathe among the cluster. As I lay down
to rest, tormented by the scene I had witnessed, my
ears, filled with the plaintive tone of the young
woman's voice, rang monotonously with the sound
of " one penny ; " — a copper spectre, as it were, that
caused me to resolve, but the resolution was broken
on the morrow ; — and when on the third day I did, as
I determined, actually visit the abode of the poor
equestrians, they had packed up their all, and were
gone. * * * *
CHAPTER XIV.
Preparations for Departure — Mail Coach Guard — Starting of" a
Mail Coach — Energy of Coachman — A Mail Guardsman —
Rumination — Wonderful Effect of the Horn — Merit self-
rewarded — An Exotic Refreshment — A Roadside Inn — A
rural Hebe — A thrifty Precaution — A Flirtation — Light
Hearts and Thin Breeches — Ringing a Pig — Happy Slum-
bers — The poor Equestrians.
A COUPLE of days, I tliiuk, after the event related in the
last brief chapter, I left the town of Athlone early in
the morning, on my way to Galway, attended, as the
mail departed from another street, by a rough headed
fellow who caiTied my portmanteau, and, fearful of
being late, jostled every body he met, and bawled
" By your lave " in their ears, loud enough to crack
a china teacup ; in fact the horses were actually put
to, and the vehicle was ready to start, barring requi-
site post-office arrangements, when I arrived at the
coach-office. A broad shouldered, heavy man, Mr.
Connor, the mail-guard, dressed in a tarnished royal
livery, and otherwise bedizened in full costume, was
determinedly stamping and jumping upon the white
leather letter -bags, in order to force these bulky im-
plements within sufficiently small space under the lid
of the seat behind ; but the more he jumped and the
more he stamped, the less, as it seemed to me, did he
complete matters to his mind. Meanwhile he in-
flicted serious discomfiture on those of the outside
passengers whose legs were necessarily distorted in
various uncomfortable positions by the raising the
K 2
196 STARTING OF A MAIL COACH. [CH.
said lid, till, by dint of might and the help of St.
Patrick, he at last finished the operation. Put-
ting an end to labours too violent to last a long
time, he wiped his face with a handkerchief taken
from the inside of his hat, reached downwards and
received from the porter's hand my portmanteau,
swung the same vigorously upon the roof of the
coach, and then gave notice that all was right to the
coachman. I had already ascended, and fronting
the coach beside him, took my seat behind.
Without the testimony of one's own eyes and ears,
it is quite impossible fully to comprehend in mortal
imagination the noise and hubbub attendant on the
departm'e of an Irish mail-coach at its first start, con-
sisting of sounds and words different altogether and
in intonation, from those produced and delivered by
any of our English drivers ; rather indeed resembling
more closely the shouting of a Smitbfield drover
among two adverse commingled flocks of black-
horned cattle. Mr. Connor blew the horn, and our
driver, urging his cattle instantly to full gallop, con-
tinued to crack and ply his whip with utmost force,
moving his arms and legs like a scaramouch, and
hallooing in a key too peculiar, after what I have al-
ready said, to attempt to describe. In vain did the
poor horses, stung to a degree of violent excitement
by unceasing flagellation, fling their heads high in
the air, and rolling and reeling, now on one side of
the road, and again on the other, wince, flounder, and
bolt, some traces long, others short, the chains rat-
tling, and the coach itself meanwhile swinging, bump-
ing, and pitching most tremendously ; still did the
minister of torment hover over the ill-fated heads of
the four poor horses, and like Olympian Jove bran-
XIV.] ENERGY OF COACHMAN. 197
dishing his thunderbolts, or an ancient Roman in a
chariot race imparting still increasing action to his
fervid wheels, seem as if determined to find out, by
actual experiment, the exact point or maximum of
endurance of life and matter ; of iron, wood, leather,
bones, and sinews. But the too profuse expenditure
of animal power seldom lasts long ; so, as might in due
course be expected, our pace, soon after we were
clear of the town, at any rate before we had pro-
ceeded one mile, dwindled down to the trot. The
effervescent spirit of the coachman at the same time
having subsided, nothing more than a flourish at
starting being ever intended, the cattle were now al-
lowed to recover their wind, and he sat meditatively
on the box tying knots in his whipcord ; hereupon,
since the winkers of the head-pieces fitted badly,
each horse, as a party concerned, seemed to take
especial interest in the latter operation.
There happened now to be nobody except our two
selves on the hinder part of the coach, that is to say,
myself and Mr, Connor, who, I have before hinted,
was a strong square-built man, dressed in a tarnished
royal mail- guardsman's livery ; and since his visage
was ruddy, his flaxen hair crisp and curly, his nose
broad and flat, and he cherished moreover carroty
whiskers of more than ordinary calibre, there was al-
together in his complexion and appearance a shadow
of resemblance, sufiicient at least to recall to my mind
on surveying his features, those of another un-
questionably powerful animal, namely, a Devonshire
bull.
The comforting beams of" a newly risen sun had
already illumined his features ; a calm after violent
exertion had settled on his spirits, and it appeared
evident to me, even after so extremely short an
198 RUMINATION. [CH.
acquaintance, that he was a man at least of an inde-
pendent mind and happy. His person was arranged
in the easiest possible position ; his thoughts far
away, in a brown study. He sat in fact in the atti-
tude wherein a mail-coach guard ought to sit,
particularly if he be broad and weighty, that is to
say, well supported behind, bolt upright, and both
hands in his coat-pockets. Before him rested, sus-
pended upon the hinder part of the coach, a brass-
barrelled blunderbuss, and a large silver watch in a
square mahogany case took place by its side. At
his right hand, fixed in a loop, was a long straight tin
horn.
Were it not that the scenery on both sides of
the road, and the soft refreshing air were conducive
to reflection and silence, the present disinclination
evinced by Mr. Connor to enter into converse was
sufficient cause to trouble him with no remarks,
wherefore I followed his example, and fell to rumi-
nation. The morning was cloudless, every blade of
thick matted grass glistened with beads of dew,
the wreathing mist rolled gently through the valley,
the lark twittered high in the air, the blackbirds and
thrushes whistled in the hedges, and the renovated
earth exhaled healthful fragrance, mingled with the
scent of wild flowers. As the eye ranged uninter-
ruptedly over a wide expanse of this peculiarly fer-
tile country, the exhilarated senses attracted and
jumbled together sensible extei'nal objects with ideal
fancies and bygone recollections, as it were in a
mental kaleidoscope, wherein trifles the most minute,
and of imaginative creation, appear once only in a
lifetime, glitter for a solitary instant, and are then ex-
tinguished for ever.
An interjection from the coachman demolished in a
XIV.] EFFECT OF THE HORN. 199
moment the dream of Mr. Connor. Suddenly he started
on his feet, and hastily seizing in his grasp the afore*
said long tin horn, placed the same to his lips, and
straining his capacious chest, poured through its in-
most chambers a powerful blast.
An old half- starved horse, gently proceeding on
the road before us, dragged slowly and at his
leisure along behind him, a cart-load of newly cut
black turf, the same neatly piled high above the
cart, and a ragged boy, perched above all, sat on the
top of the load. The harness consisted merely of
a straw saddle and collar, with rope traces; the
head-piece was a hempen halter without reins or
winkers. The froward old horse, inspired by the
sound of the horn with reminiscences of the chase,
at any rate forgetting for an instant bodily infirm-
ities and the load at his tail, responded fiercely
to the summons by a loud snort, flung forwards
his nose in defiance, and swinging his head first
on one side and then on the other, made a de-
sperate effort to trot. He was lame in a fore leg,
and dead lame in one of the hind ones, the latter,
incurably callous and stiff in the hock, moving out-
wards in a semicircle ; nevertheless, he continued to
shake his head, flourish his tail, and make progress
by a pace of his own, which, bad as it was, notwith-
standing the boy continued to cry gip-gip-gip with
all his might, served to jolt him off the top of the
cart and half empty the vehicle besides. Still louder
than before did Mr. Connor blow his horn at this
disaster, while the wicked old horse, encouraged
thereby in the ways of unrighteousness, thus in-
fluenced by evil counsel, and enlivened by the heav-
ing overboard his cargo, improved in his extra-
200 AN EXOTIC REFRESHMENT. [cH,
ordinary gait to such a degree, that it actually
became even odds against the boy, who had risen
from the ground imhurt by his fall, whether or not
he might have good fortune to catch the nmaway
at all.
Mr. Connor meanwhile drove fresh volumes of
wind continually through the tin horn, till as he at
last placed the instrument in its sling, his jowl was
resplendent with a rosy purple hue, and for many
seconds his bulbous lips retained the impression of
the mouth-piece.
Invariably, whenever men deserve well, or fancy
they desen'e well, either of their country or of them-
selves, they expect accordingly an adequate reward ;
and alas frequently, not as in the present instance,
with the means in their own hands of remuneration.
Mr. Connor, big with self-satisfaction at the exploit
above related, no sooner resumed his seat and
tranquil position, than it was plain to see he was
taking his worldly affairs into serious consideration ;
that is to say, with his forefinger he traced the cir-
cumfei'ence of a pimple that grew on his nose with
an air of serious attention, as if determining the
figure of the earth, and then at once broke from the
occupation as if at the flash of an important con-
clusion ; and finally, he drew from the bottom of his
coat pocket an iron tobacco-box. With the eye
of a hawk or of an angler baiting his hook, he
now arranged the preliminaries of the exotic re-
freshment, — moulding with broad thumb within his
palm a pellet of the plastic weed, in size such as, com-
posed of the fur and bones of slaughtered mice, or
the husks of pilfered oats, is disgorged firom the
throat of the sated owl, or the sable patriarch of the
XIV.] A ROAD-SIDE INN. 201
rooliery, and, placing within the caverns of his jaws
the savoury deposit, he leant backwards in his seat,
with half-closed eyes bidding adieu for the time
being to external objects, and relapsing into placid
cogitation.
Ere long another disturbance defined the limits of
present enjoyment ; at least an event occurred, such
as it was, sufficient to awaken thoughts in a different
series, and rouse other senses into action ; for the
horses, apparently for no reason at all, other than
that they and the driver happened to be" of one
mind, bolted across the road without more ado, drag-
ging the vehicle close to the door of a small cabin by
the road side, and there immediately drew up. Few
events, however, happen in the world without a cause,
and if one were now wanting, we were not doomed
long to remain in ignorance. A heav}'- built country
wench with a rosy countenance, smiling features,
ruddy legs and feet, the latter furnished with stumpy
toes, whereof not one in either set was either longer
or shorter than the other, made her appearance under
the coach-wheel, a bottle in one hand and a glass
in the other, as if for the purpose of solving the
question, looking at the same time steadily upwards
with an enquiring expression of countenance. Not
a minute was wasted in ceremony ; a glass of whiskey
was first handed to the coachman, Mr. Connor then
roused himself by a shake, deposited his quid pro
tempore in the mouth-piece of the tin horn, and re-
ceived another.
The effect of the mountain beverage was really in-
stantaneous; and partly probably because the time
allotted to the colloquy was necessarily sliort,
partly owing to the artificial excitement produced
K 3
20-2 A FLIRTATION. [CH.
by the whiskey, the long pent up spirits of Mr.
Connor now found vent, and burst forth in a
vein of sparkling badinage with Judy. " Did ye
get the black stockings I sent ye?" exclaimed he
without preface or apology to our rural cup-bearer ;
whereupon the poor maid was abashed, and looking
down blushingly at her own red legs, attracted
the attention of all the outside passengers in the
same line of direction. "Ah now, Mr. Connor!"
replied poor Judy, and having but few words
to say, inflicted with her broad thick palm the blow
of a mallet on the cork of the bottle, as the coach
drove off. Mr. Connor with fluent readiness rejoined,
and Judy essayed to retort, but the former, more con-
versant in the polished phrases of society, defeated
his humble antagonist, whereat the latter had re-
course to more pastoral images, and with round and
high dried missiles that lay conveniently by the road-
side, forthwith pursuing the coach, assailed the re-
creant Mr. Connor. " Ah yuop," said the coachman
in his usual style of energetic apostrophe, as the first
hard clod lighted full on the broad back of Mr.
Connor, who, nothing daunted, seized his tin horn,
and fronting his enemy sounded a loud blast in
token of defiance, when a second pellet dispatched
from the fist of Judy with unening aim, pitched
short of its destination, and a third falling hai'mlessly
on the ground, bore with it a receipt in full of all her
grievances.
The horses, refireshed with a sup of water, shook
the thistles from their noses, and galloped gaily
along, transporting our trundling vehicle through a
countr}' abounding in high, slightly -built stone-walls,
and growing apparently wilder and wilder every
XlV.] RINGING A PIG. 203
mile we proceeded. The peasants, as if time there
were of no value, gazed listlessly on our meny career,
leaning in motionless attitude on their long handled
spades, while the boys ten or twelve years of age
pursued us on foot, sometimes for two or three miles
at a stretch, without once stopping to take wind.
How little has abstract poverty to do with theenergies
of our nature ; the rags of these urchins flapped
about their bare legs and thighs as they bounded
buoyantly along, vexed by no thought or earthly care,
but stimulated wholly and solely in their onward
course by the mere fun of running.
An old man and woman by the road side were in
the act of ringing a large pig as our coach passed by,
whereupon the contrast in countenance between the
aged pair was curious to behold ; the man freed of all
mortal care, and the poor woman, as the weak feex
usually are, invested with the arduous part of the
operation. The woman, by a cord firmly fixed
behind the pig's tuslis, steadily held on and pulled,
while the man, straddling Colossus-like across the
animal's back, stood at ease and stared at our coach ;
as if, a lord of the creation, having placed in equili-
brio the forces subject to his control, he then had
nothing else in the whole wide world to do but to
take his pleasure. Far different was the province of
the woman, fronting face to face her spouse, and
vexed by the merciless caprices of their joint pri-
soner and victim, which, since pigs pull by twitches,
now pulled like his forefathers, at every jerk causing
sympathetic reaction of the old woman's hips, such
as being perfectly unsuited to her appearance and
time of life, roused her frame to painful energy, and
rendered the scene still more ludicrous. Though
204 HAPPY SLUMBERS. [CH.
her tongue was at liberty, and she vented her spleen
plentifully, the tirade disturbed not in anywise the
equanimity of her husband, whom I saw, not before
we had advanced on our way nearly out of sight,
careless apparently to which of the two parties the
member might belong, stoop down leisurely and
pierce the pig's nose.
" The boy must be light as a bird," they say, who
can hop over a six-feet wall, without displacing the
stones in Gal way ; and without other molestation
than the natural wind and the storm, one is inclined
to wonder how walls so slight at any rate hold toge-
ther. Through a country unrelieved by other objects
than fences like these crossing each other over a flat
expanse, in every direction, the Galway mail now
proceeded at a fast but steady pace, the horses alter-
nately trotting and cantering over hard stony roads,
till the excitement of travelling and trifles having
completely subsided, a general silence prevailed
among the passengers, who one and all fell to nod-
ding drowsily to the monotonous rumbling of the
wheels.
Few, during the journey, were the words and
sentiments uttered by Mr. Connor, now fanned by
the broad pinion of Moi*pheus to an enviable state
of repose, and exhibiting a figure so effectually
supported by fat and muscle, that whether sleep-
ing or waking it were all one to him, since
barring the trouble of opening and shutting both
his eyes, the same identical attitude served equally
for either. He was sound asleep. Now and then
animated even in the depth of heavy slumber
by a waking sense of duty, he would open a
comer of one of the said optics to satisfy himself
XIV.] THE POOR EQUESTRIANS. 205
that all was right, and then drop ofl' again. Yet
though the ever-living moral sense, the mystical
companion of repose, thus whispered not unheeded
in his ear, the hardy physical frame was dead to
external assault. A phalanx of flies on his face
pursued their gambols over the broad domain with-
out let or hindrance from the lord of the manor,
and even when half a dozen of the troublesome
insects together, like sheep at the edge of a muddy
brook, jostled one another at a corper of his mouth,
he would then merely purse up his lips in his
sleep and appear to smile. It was a happy, by
no means a troublous smile, a smile as if he were
dreaming of dairy-maids' kisses, or of playing the
flute.
Mr. Connor peacefully slept and snored near a
quarter of an hour, when the sound of his own
name shouted loudly by the coachman recalled his
scattered senses ; that is to say, he opened both his
eyes, and taking the implement out of its sling
began to polish with the palm of his hand the brass
barrel of the blunderbuss ; then he stalled on his
feet and blew his horn lustily, for we had now arrived
at a sudden turn in the road at the bottom of a very
steep hill. The sound of the horn, the clatter of
galloping horses, and our sudden approach as w^e
rapidly turned the corner, were altogether causes
that, combined, shed dismay and terror over an
humble party, that now forming a small cavalcade,
and proceeding in the same direction immediately
before us, were driven to a serious and even painful
exertion to get out of harm's way. The docile pie-
bald horse, the same before mentioned at Athlone,
now caparisoned as a beast of burthen, a common
206 THE POOR EQUESTRIANS. [cH. XlV.
pack-horse, bearing a few ill-assorted packages badly
secured on his back, his head and tail, as if he were
conscious of a state of degradation, drooping to-
wards the earth, was slowly advancing up the hill.
A few paces in the rear followed the travelling eques-
trians, the young woman looking ill and jaded, and
leaning heavily on her husband's arm, while the
melancholy countenance and dejected air of the latter
recalled forcibly to my mind the former picture of
poverty I had seen during their late performance,
and which was now pourtrayed in slill more lively
colours. Yet it was no sooner viewed than we were
gone, and as the Galway mail rolled along, the young
unhappy pair had made way for the boisterous equi-
page, the piebald horse had meekly stepped aside, the
little party in a few seconds were far in the rear, and
as Mr. Connor obstreperously winded his horn,
nothing remained of the spectacle that had appeared
and passed away, than as it were a mere recollec-
tion, — an unsubstantial vision of the uphill walk of
jjfg^ ******
CHAPTER XV.
A Coffee-room — A Dinner in Gal way — A Bacchanalian Party —
An accomplished Waiter — Personal Appearance — Moral
Qualities — Evening Capability — Nightly Festivity — Morning
Graces — Departure from Galway.
Altogether we made a prosperous journey from
Athlone to Galway, where the hotel stands in the
open square, and the name of the host, though I
never saw his face, is I believe Kilroy. My prin-
cipal dealings were with the head man or waiter, a
busy active fellow, mighty civil and communicative
withal, whom every body called by the name of Mick ;
in fact nobody there shouted nidely " waiter," but all
addressed him as I said before by the name of Mick,
in a friendly way ; wherefore, in order to be like
other people, and particularly since my interest lay
the same way, I called him Mick too. It were well
to wave ceremony at first sight, since I had occasion
for his services, in the way of procming a lively
young turbot, of which in the season there are plenty
in Galway, as well as of most other sorts of fine
fish, for dinner. Therefore " Mick," said I, coming
at once to the point, " what can I have for dinner ? "
" Sirr," replied Mick, without a moment's hesitation,
" any thing you'll be plased to minshin and you'll
have it immediantly." Whereupon I rejoined, giving
him to understand I should content myself with a
small delicate turbot, or a couple of fried soles, and
take my chance for the rest according to the state of
208 A DINNER IN GALWAY. [CH.
the larder. A good natured smile now passed across
Mick's countenance, as he merely remarked the day
was hot, and he felt " extramely wake ; " at the same
time perspiring rather copiously ; in point of fact evi-
dently suffering from the effects of whiskey, drunk
either the day before, or on the same morning ; and
finally, after enumerating various other articles, none
of which I succeeded in obtaining, I was obliged to
remain satisfied with the usual every-day fare of the
traveller in most of the inns in Ireland ; that is to
say, of the conge d'elire which Mick in full confi-
dence proposed in the beginning of our conference^
came in the end, a couple of chickens not a great
deal bigger than larks, and a dish of dry, hard, black
mutton chops.
Abundance of company just now occupied this said
coffee-room in Galway, a greater influx of persons
than usual being inclined to festivity, and though the
hour was not later than five o'clock, the jingling of
teaspoons and ringing of glasses betokened business
of the evening speedily about to commence. As the
parties sat at small tables in different parts of the
room, besides at one large one spread in the middle, I
had soon an opportunity of witnessing the ability and
nimbleness wherewith Mick acquitted himself in
satisfying the wants of various people who would
fain have obliged him to move at the same moment
in many different directions. Prefen-ing for the pre-
sent a walk on the sea-shore to an atmosphere becom-
ing more and more charged every moment with
spirituous exhalations, I extended my ramble to a
period beyond sunset, and having left the inn soon
after I had hastily dispatched my dinner, returned
merely with the object of retiring early to rest in
XV.] • A BACCHANALIAN PARTY. 209
order to proceed farther on my journey the next
morning.
During my absence an ample gathering of the
votaries of Bacchus were collected in the coffee-room ;
the apartment was in fact as full as it could conve-
niently hold of people, who for the most part had
rallied round the large table, the centre of argument
and vociferation, where many an elbow was raised
in obeisance to the jolly god, the ladle continually
saluted the punch-bowl, clouds of smoke rolled from
the pipes and cigars, and Mick's figure appeared pre-
eminent in the foreground, as busy as a red headed
midshipman in a general engagement. When emerg-
ing from a pillar of vapour he stood with a com-
placent sleepy smile ready to do my bidding, from
causes external and internal he had become heated
within and without, his face was as red as a sala-
mander, and his nose, to use a common phrase,
would have bunit the toes of a mosquito ; having on
the present occasion stood fire long and gallantly
till he had arrived at last at a certain critical point of
capability, when in point of fact he was able to do
just nothing at all. In personal appearance he was a
fair complexioned man, with extremely light blue
bloodshot eyes, thin flaxen hair, and tender skin ; so
that the latter more visibly betokened mischief brew-
ing within, being on his forehead and cheeks, in some
parts red, in others white, the cuticle peeling away
in the red parts, in film, like the ashes of burnt paper.
But his moral qualities most deserve the attention
of the reader, since on a short acquaintance, and from
all I could thereby learn, Mick had contrived to ob-
tain and preserve the respect of the world, though by
no means a perfect man, and moreover possessed of
210 AN ACCOMPLISHED WAITER. [CH.
one veiy material failing. Whether owing to the
effect of a too open heart or a too open throat, or,
doating strongly on his native country, he bore a
still stronger attachment to her island produce, so it
did happen that, somehow or other, he swallowed
every day a larger portion of whiskey, strictly speak-
ing, than as in duty bound, and became even an Irish-
man. One gave him a " dthrop," and t'other gave him
a " dthrop," out of civility, or respect to his vocation,
and one drop after another, allowing time enough, as
the poet says, makes a hole in a stone ; and the road
from the stomach to Mick's brains, in like manner, by
dint of traffic and hard usage, became at last wofuUy
out of repair. Had a stronger head than his own been
screwed on his shoulders, it were altogether another
affair; butjustas things stood, at the close of every day
he invariably parted with his five senses, one after an-
other. A twilight of instinct survived the demise
of reason, that earned him through his business hours ;
and though, since one eye would shut, and the second
followed the example of its brother, he was unable
cleverly to navigate across the room, he always dis-
tinguished his own from another body's name, and
said, " Coming your honor," all in one syllable,
in a way peculiar to himself, blurting out the words
together in a lump. Moral excellence in the end
prevailed over physical frailties, and Mick not only
preserved his situation, but, as I hinted before, held
the world in perfect good humour ; since he made it
a rule at all times and seasons, rather than offend a
friend by refusing a glass when offered, to convert
every square inch of his person to a Solfatara, and
give every body a civil answer just so long as,
drunk or sober, he was able to speak at all. Social
XV.]" EVENING CAPABILITY. 211
qualities like these gained Mick universal popularity,
— day after day, he thus performed with eclat his
duty, — and every night retii*ed to rest with the re-
putation of a very " ixcillint waither," if not all
ov^er the kingdom of Ireland, at least in the town
of Galway.
When I entered the coffee-room, about to go to
rest, Mick, his faculties having long since passed the
meridian, was doubly anxious, and quite unable to
render any body assistance, and for the same iden-
tical reason, more determined that no other body
should render assistance to him. With extreme
kindliness of countenance he prevented me from
lighting my own candle, fortunately at last succeed-
ing, after making several ineffectual lounges, to hit
the flame. Striving to maintain a decorous per-
pendicularity, he then extended the same towards
me with the grave air of a land surveyor look-
ing across his stakes, still pertinaciously holding
fast the candlestick, till, his senses subsiding lethar-
gically, 1 took it from his hand. Startled by this
latter action, he looked surprised at the ends of his
fingers, finding the candle gone. By a muscular
effort of his forehead, wdth difficulty opening his
eyes, his wits meanwhile abroad in pursuit of lost
recollections ; up went one leg toward the ceil-
ing, as if about to go he knew not where, when his
head at the same time receiving a bias from the
jingling glasses, he wheeled round to the company,
and before I again attracted his notice, I was out of
the room.
I had scarcely dropped asleep when I was awak-
ened by a tremendous and most unusual noise ; such
212 NIGHTLY FESTIVITY. [CH.
was the roaring and clattering among contending
parties below stairs, that it appeared to me actually
as if all the furniture in the house was being thrown
out of the windows. Besides, there was racing along
the passages ; people continually ran to every part
of the house, first up stairs and then down again ;
and I distinctly heard, in the apartment immediately
adjoining my own, the voices of persons whispering, as
if in consultation with one another. Thinking these
deliberations were the consequence of some quaiTel,
and bore reference to preliminaries with which 1 had
nothing to do, I consequently took the precaution of
immediately locking my door, leaving the baccha-
nalians to settle matters in any way they chose ;
nevertheless the whispering and clattering continued
as before for the full space of half an hour, and how
much longer I am unable to say, for I fell into a
sleep so sound, that it was past eight o'clock before
I awakened in the morning.
Even at this late hour, in the middle of summer,
not a single soul, when I got up, was stirring in the
inn at Gal way ; the doors and shutters were closed,
and silence now reigned as of a deserted dwelling, or
a city of the plague. The debauchery of the pre-
ceding night was followed by the stillness of the grave.
A solitaiy cat rubbed her sides against my legs ; the
sand on the boards grated under my shoes; I walked
along the corridors, and called again and again,
but nobody rose at the summons from their heavy
slumbers. I knocked at doors, rang bells, made
a serious disturbance wherever I went, and reite-
rated the name of Mick as loud I was able.
I had amved at a pestiferous region, pregnant with
XV.] MORNING GRACES. 213
the smell of stale tobacco-smoke, where bits of
lemon-peel and the burat ends of cigars lay profusely
scattered on the ground, still shouting the name of
Mick as I walked, with incessant clamour. The
creaking of a small door at last caught my attention,
and the next moment I saw a red nose, the property
of Mick himselfj'protruding from a sort of hole in the
wall, or den, or sty, or small apartment, or whatever
appellative may be proper to apply to his dormitory;
from whence as he emerged in inelegant dishabille,
words are wanting to describe the spectral image of
habitual intemperance that then stood before me.
'i His eyes with scalding rheum were galled and red."
So far may be cited true to the letter ; not so of" cold
palsy shook his limbs," for he was in a burning
fever.
" Obstupuit, steteruntquae comae, et vox faucibus haesit,"
" Stupid as an owl, hair all on end, and throat as dry as a
brick-bat."
This might be literally quoted of his miserable con-
dition. "Mick," said T, " pray give me my bill;"
whereat Mick yawned drowsily, and uttering a sound
between a sigh and a groan, with either hand rubbed
mercilessly both his eyes, and yawned again. Again
he essayed to speak and failed, made another effort,
was still silent; till finding it as indispensable to
stimulate the organs of speech as to resin a fiddle,
he set matters to rights by taking a dram. A full
hour elapsed before I procured my bill ; in the mean
time Mick was sufficiently recovered to unravel the
mystery of the last night's proceedings. I asked
him the meaning of the terrible noise. " Noise !"
said he, "sure and twas an iligant ball." "Ball!"
214 DEPARTURE FROM GALWAY. [CH. XV.
said I, "and the ladies, whence came they ?" "We
had no ladies at all at all, divil the one," said Mick.
"No ladies, and a ball, a ball without ladies! im-
possible," said I in an incredulous tone. " Ah
now !" said Mick, " sure and we had the cook and
the howl of the maids, and, the boys sintfor the piper,
and all got partners apace." * * *
I paid my bill, and my jaunting-car was at the
door. I joyfully took my seat, Mick threw in my
portmanteau, and waved his hand in token of adieu.
Once more clear of the town, I blessed my stars
to find myself on the king's highway, sitting side-
wise, back to back, driver and traveller, jiggling
along, over the rough stones, on the road to Ennis,
about to visit, by the way of Limerick and Tralee,
the lakes of Killaniey. * * *
MEMOIRS
ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL.
MEMOIRS
ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL.
CHAPTER I.
Land at Lisbon — Appointed Clerk in the Commissariat — Ar-
rive at Badajoz — Experimental Duty — First Start on Field
Service — Depot at Coimbra — My Duties — Daily Fare and
Dessert — Aspect of the Town — Female Water-carriers — A
Night Funeral — Put in charge of an Artillery Brigade — Latin
a Key to the Portuguese Language — Busacos — A Night.
March — Service of Artillery Brigade — Communication among
the Army.
If there be a particular spot within the whole compass
of the map of England less intersected by the pen of
the draftsman, and consequently more blank than an-
other, it is a small peninsular nook at the mouth of
the Thames, bounded on three sides by that river,
the Medway, and the great Dover road. Here I
passed the greater part of my early days, and, except
in so far as relates to an acquired taste for and pro-
ficiency in rural sports, slender indeed was the stock
I carried away with me of worldly knowledge.
I first left my paternal home in tlie spring of the year
1808 to do captain's duty with the West Kent regiment
of militia, then quartered at Woodbridge in Suffolk,and
after having, in the course of tliat service during the
next twelve months, visited various parts of the coun-
try, I obtained three months' leave of absence from
VOL II. L
218 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
my commandiDg-officer to proceed to Portugal. I
accordingly forthwith embarked in tlie packet at
Falmouth, and in the spring of 1809 landed in Lis-
bon.
It were needless to recount to the reader those
family disappointments, that total change of pro-
spects, which, independent of my own control, first
compelled me, unprepared and unexpectedly, to
abandon the tranquil pursuits of a country life and
seek a vocation ; still more to relate the difficulties,
that now arriving in Portugal, unversed in the ways of
business, unexercised in habits of application, ap-
peared spread forth on the world's wide chart before
me : it is sufficient to state that, impatient of delay,
and finding little chance of realizing even the mode-
rate hopes T had entertained, after a few weeks ex-
hausted in fruitless application for employment, I
accepted the appointment of commissariat clerk, at a
stipend of seven shillings and sixpence a-day, and
joined the British army. I crossed the Tagus to Aldea
Gallega accompanied by a Portuguese servant whom I
hired expressly for the service, but the man, whether
already satisfied with foreign adventure, or disliking
the prospect of a journey to Spain on foot, at any
rate decamped almost as soon as we entered the vil-
lage, leaving me with a few articles of necessary
equipment packed on the back of a small mule, to
find my way alone to the Duke of Wellington's head
quarters at Badajoz as well as 1 could.
On arriving at Badajoz, I reported myself without
delay, according to the instructions I had received, to
the officer at the head of the commissariat depart-
ment, by whom I was immediately asked a variety of
questions, to all which at the present moment 1 do
l]. ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 219
not exactly recollect the answers, but will be bold
to say, that relating directly to my previous ex-
perience in business, the}^ were decidedly unsatis-
factory. Finally, I was consigned to experimental
duty in a solitary' apartment adjoining the chief's
office, furnished with a Provision Abstract, and
ordered to make a copy. A document such as I
had never set eyes on before, being on that occasion
put into my hands, I may just as well, merely for the
edification of the reader unlearned in such matters,
state briefly its description ; it was a detailed ac-
count of issues made to the troops of various articles
of provisions and forage specified in pounds avoirdu-
pois and ounces, within numerous columns ruled
upon a huge sheet of elephant paper. Each hori-
zontal line, of which altogether there were not less
than eighty or ninety with a number and date at the
beginning, represented a set of triplicate vouchers ;
and extreme neatness of execution was indispensable
in placing each digit precisely under its fellow, ac-
cording to the proper station in the decimal scale, in
order to facilitate the heavy sums of addition that
formed the totals at the foot. With extreme toil I
at last produced the nearest resemblance I was able
to make of a counteiiDart, but the lines perj)endicular
and horiaontal diverged so far out of a parallel di-
rection, the figures, some large and some small, were
so ill-formed and ill-placed, and this my first attempt
was in ])oint of fact so complete a failure, that perhaps
fortunately, I was never required to repeat the same
task, while I remained in that office.
It happened about this time, not long after the
battle of Talavera, when the British army broke from
cantonments around Badajoz and commenced their
L 2
220 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
march towards the valley of the Mondego, that a
young officer in the department, recently invested
with a commission, was put in charge of a portion of
the troops then about to depart by the way of
Abrantes, across the Tagus to Coimbra. On this
occasion I was attached to him as clerk, thereby
commencing a service wherein I was treated in-
variably, during the whole period I remained under
his orders, with the utmost kindness and consider-
ation ; and I thus formed acquaintance with the in-
dividual before adverted to as a member of one of
the principal families in the island of Guernsey,
in another part of this volume.
Twenty-seven years have now rolled over the head
of this my former master, since the day on which,
distinguished by a blue uniform coat with cuffs and
collar of black velvet, unbuttoned in easy costume,
and pantaloons decorated with a stripe of reddish
brown Spanish leather, cut in zigzag Vandyke pat-
tern, and extending the whole length of the outer
seam, proudly spurred at the heels, a white streaming
feather in his cocked hat, massive gold epaulettes on
his shoulders ; mounted on a long-tailed Spanish
chai'ger, and accompanied by his clerk aforesaid on a
small mule, both together on a sunshiny morning
rode out of the town of Badajoz.
The above description of dress, the fashion of the
sword, generally of a cavalry pattern, being quite
ad Uhitiim, is such as the King's regulations, more
or less modified according to the fancy of the
wearer, prescribed at this period to a field commis-
sary with the British army. 1 do not mean to
infer an overstrahied interpretation of the limit
established by universal custom, on the part of
I.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 221
the present individual, though, as is well known, a
latitude in dress has heretofore been exclusively
made a subject of censure on officers of the com-
missariat department. Nevertheless, without reason
or justice, for a variegated costume prevailed, not
only in their case, but generally in every corps and
grade in the army; even from the Duke of Wel-
lington, equipped in a white cloak and white cravat,
to the lowest subaltern downwards. As regards the
commissariat, the duke probably was unwilling, when
the supplies of the army were at stake, to deprive
them in their dealings with the local authorities of
the advantage of a style of dress, which, such as it
was, being permitted through the whole campaign,
may unquestionably be said to have I'eceived His
Grace's sanction.
Than the commissariat officer above referred to,
there are few men in the world, either in a moral
sense, or in matters of business, of more scrupulous
exactitude; indeed, at this time, anxiety feverishly
excited at the apprehension of responsibility, led him
to perform himself, all and every part of the official
duty ; so that partly wishing to be lenient towards
me, partly, and very properly, distrusting my capa-
bilit}', and partly, himself possessing a natural born
intuitive love for the pen and the ruler, it followed
that little sedentary occupation at all events fell to
my lot on the way, and when I arrived in Coimbra
I was little better versed than on the day I started
from Badajoz, in my new profession.
At the town of Coimbra, pleasantly situated in the
vicinity of the sea-port of Figueiras and on the banks
of the Mondego, was established a considerable
depot of stores and provisions for the army ; and
222 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
here a regular routine of office duty, such as it was,
now for the fust time devolved upon me. Simple
as were these my avocations, I vv'as subjected to
confinement in the office the whole of the day,
drawing checks for returns of provisions and forage
on the storekeeper in charge of the stores, upon
documents, whereon it was my duty to see that
the specified number of officers, rank and file, were
correctly vouched by the commanding officer of the
regiment or detachment ; that the quantities of pro-
visions drawn were correctly estimated, and that the
receipt was signed by the person duly authorized.
These vouchers, in those days furnished in triplicate,
were then entered in an abstract such as I have be-
fore described, for the purpose of being afterwards
incorporated in a general account.
After a few days' practice, although nothing new
remained to be learnt, yet from previous want of
usage on my own part, and the multiplicity of appli-
cants for rations on the other, I had enough to do to
keep down the press of business each day ; however,
I became by degrees reconciled to a duty which,
while the troojjs remained in cantonments, yielded
little enough of variety.
At the close of each day, that is to say, so soon as
the brunt of work had passed away, my new master,
whom I am happy now to call my old friend, and
myself, dined regularly together as comfortably as
circumstances would permit ; welcoming contentedly
a meal, whereat youth and health supplied the want
of luxurious viands. Week after week every day,
almost without an exception, I verily believe, we at-
tacked the same identical dish during the whole
winter ; that is to say a large piece of plain boiled
1.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 223
ration beef, with such vegetables as could be pro-
cured. Deficiencies were afterwards amply supplied
by a profusion of oranges fresh from the tree, here at
all times to be purchased twenty for a vintaine, or a
little more than a penny ; and frequently hanging in
unplucked clusters on their native fragrant dark
green bough, We usually restricted our dessert to a
vintaine's worth, that is a score ; but since in this
native fruit the white substance immediately under
the yellow rind, which, in English imported oranges
is tough and leathery, actually melted in the mouth,
in appearance resembling the watery covering of an
ice-plant, we were not unfrequently induced to send
again to the market-place, and complete our comple-
ment to scores apiece. One sorrowful exception I
remember making to this code of frugality, in the
instance of an experiment, by way of variety, upon a
ragout of lampreys, which pottage, prepared by a
professed Portuguese cook, made me so very ill, that
I was the more happy after such an abomination of
grease and garlic, to return to humble fare.
Under the influence of new habits, affording at
least regular occupation, the certain source of satis-
factory reflections, I continued to live at Coimbra
till the rainy season passed away, and fine weather
sat in. Then, indeed, might be truly compared to
angels' visits, those few moments of leisure, or rather
occasional business eiTands, that now and then called
me abroad to look around, and breathe in moment-
ary freedom the pure, clear air of this beautiful city.
As to the rainy season, as most people are aware,
rain in Portugal descends not in drops, but in streams,
pouring like hail downwards for days together, with
uniform and unabated force like a severe, transient,
224: MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
English thunder shower upon the bubbling pave-
ment. The more charming the contrast with Christ-
mas sunshine ; at which season, — the harvest of
oranges, — the town of Coimbra rivals the garden of
the Hesperides, occupying the side of a small
mountain, bedecked to the very brow with houses of
snowy whiteness, intermingled here and there with
groups of orange-trees, the latter laden with fruit
glowing in full pride and splendour, while the
Mondego below, like a peaceful lake, spreads indo-
lently along its flat sandy shore. Troops of the black-
eyed daughters of a burning sun, each bearing grace-
fully a pitcher on her head, each in dress and occu-
pation a semblance of woman in the primitive ages,
here congregate during the livelong day, and here,
such is the gently slielving bank, that the bare-kneed
damsels are compelled, ere they can effectually dip
their vessels in the stream, to wade thirty or forty yards
into the river. Here the nymph on her diurnal pil-
grimage is not unfrequently waylaid by a wily suitor,
and many a lightning glance darts furtively though
not less effectively from the dark brow of some lurk-
ing student of the university, many of whom, parad-
ing the streets in black gowns, and bareheaded, are
conspicuous personages among the inhabitants of
the town.
Well do I remember one soft balmy evening in the
month of Februaiy, when, the windows of my apart-
ment being wide open, I heard, long after nightfall,
the sound of music. The air was mild, even at that
season of the year as in England in the month of
June, and on looking into the street, I saw a funeral
party accompanying the corpse of some distinguished
person, followed by a band of friars chaunting a
I.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. '2-2o
solemn requiem, all slowly moving towards the place
of interment. I immediately ran down stairs and
joined the procession, wherein, on a bier borne
on men's shoulders, and attended by a long line of
torch-bearers walking two and two, lay a female
form dressed in splendid apparel, and covered with
various flowers. The simple but deep tones of the
human voice were on this occasion most awfully pe-
netrating ; calculated to exorcise, as it were, the very
inmost feelings of the soul, to a degree unknown in
England, except indeed at the funeral of a soldier.
One single wave of this tide of harmony might have
overwhelmed a whole host of our iron-hearted hired
undertakers, together with their horses, plumes, and
mercenary black velvet paraphernalia. I accom-
panied the body to the grave, where I observed that
custom also dictated a similar anomaly such as is
universally adojited according to our military practice,
— that is to say, the moment the rites were per-
formed, an indecorous and hasty rush took place of
the people out of the church, in perfect accord-
ance with the sudden change of tone and gesture
which discipline prescribes to the warrior on duty,
springing at once from a melancholy, sepulchral
dirge, to a light airy step, his ear, even before
the fume of the votive volley has mingled with the
air, greeted by a jocund tune. I know not whence
the practice of returning in quick time from a funeral
originated among our army, but when thus in a
catholic country, nature, wound to a high pitch of
feeling, seems voluntarily to pursue a course actuated
apparently by a similar imj^ulse with ours, we are
at liberty perhaps to conclude, that the analogy ma^-
l3
226 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
readily be traced, by those who read sufficiently
deeply, in the philosophy of the human heart.
I certainly never AA'itnessed a more sadden change
than was wrought in the deportment of the spec-
tators on the present occasion. I stood among the
crowd in the aisle of the church close to the grave
during the performance of a splendid anthem, wherein
the vocal powers of the friars were beyond ordinary
excellence, and otherwise universal silence and deep
quietude universally prevailed. The moment the
music was over and the religious rites concluded,
two men seized the bedizened corpse, arrayed in silk
stockings and all its finery, one holding the ancles,
the other the wrists, and then without ceremony, the
very sinews cracking under their rude violence, un-
relentingly tossed it into a hole a few feet deep under
the floor, which served as its grave. Quicklime was
then hastily thrown upon the mortal remains, the
sexton hardily set to work with his shovel, the earth
was sj)eedily thrown whence it came, the torches
were suddenly extinguished, and every one, as well
and as quick as he could, made the best of his way
in the dark to his home.
At the end of April, 1810, the French having
about that time manifested an intention to invest the
Spanish garrison-town of Ciudad liodrigo. Colonel
Robe's nine-pounder brigade of artillery was sud'
denly ordered, amid a general movement of the array,
to the frontier of Beira, whereupon I was appointed
to the commissariat charge of this brigade, and
unexpectedly received an increase of pay from seven
shillings and sixpence, to ten shillings a day. Al-
though imperfectly inured to my present sedentary
I.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 2-27
occupation, for since leaving school, I had seldom
ever happened to sit still for half an hour at a time
in the middle of the day, I had not altogether un-
profitably submitted to irksome confinement. Some
detachments were continually passing through to the
army, others remained quartered in the town, com-
prising together portions of the troops in various and
manifold branches, whose provision returns all passing
through ray hands, I gained thereby a general in-
sight into the routine of duty. Nevertheless, as a
captive from a dungeon, I hailed the beneficence of
fortune, that now once more restored me to former
habits, and robust exercise.
It was I think exactly on the 28th of April, when
performing my first actasapublic accountant, I passed
a receipt for four bullocks, delivered to me for the
use of the brigade under my charge, and gave credit
in my accounts for a specified weight of meat in the
usual manner. The brigade of men and horses now
supplied by me with rations of provisions and forage
furnished returns for the same, once in three days ;
bread, wine, and forage I procured from the in-
habitants, giving receipts, payable at head-quarters,
for the quantities, and I rendered my accounts at the
end of each month, according to the forms I had al-
ready seen, including that of the formidable abstract
before mentioned, now fortunately reduced to a more
practicable scale, a seijeant of the brigade being
moreover appointed my store-keeper, on whom I
drew checks as I had been used to do before at
Coimbra. The prospect of a stirring life now ap-
peared again to rise before me, I felt myself be-
coming a free agent daily more and more, a Spanisli
capataz reported to me his arrival from the com-
228 AIEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
missary-general, with instructions to place himself
and forty-two stout mules under my orders ; and
finally, in this as it were the opening dawn of
prosperity, as when disconsolately steering through
a fog, new objects suddenly appear and others
brighten till the sun at last breaks forth in full
splendour, such I may really say was my gladness
of heart when, after the above related humble
acquisitions of independence, the officers of the
artillery brigade to which I was appointed invited
me an honorary member to their mess. A fol-
lower of their fortunes, I. lived happily with these
kind companions during the eventful proceedings of
the next twelve months, including the advance of the
brigade to the battle of Busacos, the retreat of the
allied army to the lines at Torres Vedras, and the
subsequent advance of the troops in pursuit of Marshal
Massena, till the battle of Fuentes d'Onor. My oc-
cupations, it is true, were altogether distinct from
theirs during the whole of the day ; but after the
morning's fatigue was over, whether in a well-roofed
or a roofless house, a tent, or bivouacked in the open
air, I felt myself once more restored to the consola-
tions of society, and animated by the consciousness
of possessing a home.
In conversing in Portuguese with the inhabitants,
on matters relating to commissariat business, or
referring to the duties of my office, I was mainly as-
sisted by Latin, with which language perhaps more
than half the words in the former tongue are strictly
identical. I may be permitted therefore humbly
here to set forth in my own person a practical instance
to those of the present day inclined to underrate and
weigh that language in the narrow scale of intrinsic,
I.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 229
absolute, and immediate value, for I had constant
cause to rejoice in classical reminiscences, not only
in the instance above stated as lending a key to
the language of the country I was in, but also as a
never ending source of mental enjoyment. Without
talcing further opportunity in this place of feebly ad-
vocating the cause of classical literature, I will barely
express my sincere conviction, that men's minds,
allured by the excellent code of morals exhibited by
the ancient writers of Greece and Rome, were abso-
lutely in no slight degree prepared thereby to receive
the first doctrines of Christianity. If this be true, and
since these writings, moreover, both in prose and
poetry, are not surpassed even in modern days, the
early period of life can hardly be said to be thrown
away in acquiring a material which, though all
thereon are permitted to build, the power of a young
arm alone can effectively drag from the mine. The
real fact after all is, that the classics, to the end
of time, notwithstanding occasional influences pro-
duced by the love of change and novelty on the
course of education, will for ever, even by those not
themselves aware of the sentiment, be had in respect;
and though now for a while somewhat neglected
amid morbid fashion and the march of intellect,
I really regard the indication merely as it were a riot
or flourish at starting in the Easter hunt of know-
ledge, whence all will in due time return to the true
scent, with noses more or less scratched among the
brambles of error.
It is pleasing at all events to observe good taste
gi'adually gaining ground, and this inference was
considerably strengthened by a little book that acci-
dentally, a short time since, fell into my hands— a
Q30 MEMOIRS OP AN [CH.
tour written by the eccentric back-woodsman, Colo-
nel Crockett, who fell gallantly fighthig in the Texian
war. In these pages may be seen the following sen-
timent on education, a sentiment conceived and ut-
tered even by a modern individual of republican
America, and, as indicative, I think, of the reaction to
which I have just alluded, therefore entitled to the
more attention. I give it without further comment
in his own words, spoken at a meeting of the in-
habitants of Elizabeth-Town, Kentucky, on the 19th
of November, 1834. " For," said Colonel Crockett,
in reply to a complimentary address delivered to him
in the coiu'se of his tour ; " for," said he, " 1 have
never had the opportunity of an education, which
enables men to use the refined language that is com-
mon for gentlemen to use filling high stations, such
as I have been chosen to fill, by a portion of the
people of Tennessee." *
For my own part I certainly never felt reason to
repent having obtained the little that I ever possessed
of classical knowledge, although certainly free to con-
fess that that little might have been readily dispensed
with amid many of my present avocations, particularly
as to the expenditure, without the aid of Latin, of some
hundreds of dollars, which now, for the occasional
service of purchasing supplies of bread and wine for
the men, and green forage for the horses of the
brigade, were placed in my hands as an accountant.
It became my duty to carry to account this and other
succeeding imprests of money, under various pre-
scribed forms, with which till then I had never been
made acquainted, my knowledge of arithmetic at the
* Colonel Crockett's Tour, written by himself, published by
Cade and Hart, Philadelphia, 1835.
I.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 231
same time being certainly on an extremely limited
scale. As an instance elucidating the degree of my
previous proficiency, I may state, that, in making
calculations in Portuguese money, which operation
is, as most people are aware, extremely simple, re-
lating to only one denomination of reis, eight hundred
to the dollar, which reis are added together without
transmutation, according to the plain decimal scale,
I perfectly well remember, that in bringing these reis
into dollars, I never omitted in the work one single
cypher of the divisor 800, no matter of how many
figures the dividend consisted, to the end of the
process.
The first memorable affair ^^■hereof I was an eye
witness was of Busacos. It is fit I should here at
once inform the reader, by the way, that a commis-
sary is a non-combatant ; that as his business is to
provide the troops with food, it necessarily follows
that while they are engaged with the enemy, his
avocations lie in other directions ; and 1 may add,
as regards myself personally, that if ever curiosity
led me, as it frequently did, to a spot where I found
myself unexpectedly exposed to fire, 1 invariably
made my way out of it as quick and straight as I
decently could. But for the very reason that a com-
missary is a non-combatant, it becomes the more
necessary that I should shew, within the compass of
this short memoir, putting myself wholly out of the
question, those instances which tend to describe ge-
nerally the life of a commissariat officer on active
service, pointing out, the above being the rule,
occasional exceptions. This remark, however, more
applies by and by, as I proceed, for I have not much
to say of the affair of Busacos. Before I go farther,
23-2 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
I will also by the way observe, that I write at pre-
sent entirely on memory, without reference to private
memoranda, at the same time feeling tolerably satis-
fied that, even should I inadvertently fall into error
as to numbers, dates, locality, or what not, such de-
viations will by no means serve to withhold a faith-
ful general impression of events to the reader.
I was quartered on the morning of the battle at a
small cottage a mile below the heights, and in order to
communicate on matters of duty with my command-
ing officer, I had occasion to go early to the spot
where the artillery brigade was in position. A shaip
lire of rausquetry was incessantly kept up, as 1 ad-
vanced towards the scene of action, whence I met
several Portuguese cagadores returning wounded, for
the most part their arms bound up, and the blood
bursting through the bandages. The French general,
Simon, a small red faced man, looking angry and
flustered, had just then been taken prisoner, and his
epaulettes in the struggle torn from his shoulders.
On the brow of the hill lay the first slain victim
of the battle-field I had ever beheld — a fine young
French officer, at that moment breathing his last.
My brigade was posted on a commanding height,
surmounted by low, bluff rocks, through the clefts
of which the guns were pointed, as through em-
brasures, upon the enemy below, and altogether,
the point here taken up formed a formidable fortifi-
cation. In the rear, a considerable spread of flat
ground, sheltered from the enemy's fire by the
brow^ of the hill, was occupied by our troops, and
below, in our front, at the bottom of a precipitous
descent, was the pine grove whence the French
riflemen's balls continued incessantly, both before
I.] ASSISTANT COMMISSAEY-GENERAL. Q3S
and after the action, to rip the air in our level above
with a discordant twang. Behind the pine grove,
on the open flat country, \vere the massive square
columns of the combined French army. Captain
Robert Lawson being on this day in immediate
command of the guns, pacing backwards and for-
wards, his head and shoulders exposed above the
level of the said rocks, he desired me to sit down
vmder shelter while we held communication. I re-
mained seated accordingly in perfect security, while
he walked steadily backwards and forwards, as he
had done before.
Having finished a conference which lasted only a
few minutes, I was afterwards led by curiosity, pre-
viously to returning to the spot where I had tied up my
mule, to walk a little distance to the right of our line,
and look down from between a cleft in the rocks, at a
place where a few gunners, who for the present had
nothing else to do, had collected for the same pur-
pose, upon the enemy below. My stay here was but
short, for though the balls, which flew thickly over our
heads, were all apparently extremely high in the air,
one by chance hit a gunner on the protuberant part
of the skull, under the right ear, so that he fell down
close at my feet. The ball, striking with a blow
that sounded like a hard slap on the face, flattened
itself against the bone under the scalp, whence it was
afterwards extracted, I believe, without eflecting
serious injury. The wounded man was raised from
the ground and carried away to the doctor, and T at
the same time availed myself of the hint immediately
to quit the present spot, and walk away.
It was evident, in the afternoon of the 28th of Sep-
tember, that the French army below were busily
234 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
making preparations to inarch, with a view, in point
of fact, to turn our left flank, though at that time I
knew not what they were about. I observed the
bustle in their camp, saw the troops and baggage
collecting together at their different stations, and
heard the drums and bugles ^ery distinctly. On one
occasion previously, during the preceding morning,
the duke came up to our brigade, and in person di-
rected one of the guns to be pointed and fired at the
columns below, w^hether for the purpose or not of
trying its range I cannot say, however it was Lieu-
tenant Henry Macleod's gun that was chosen on the
occasion, and no farther use was made of the artil-
lery brigade that day.
At night, having left my quarters below the hill, I
bivouacked close to the guns, in a thicket a little
in the rear, and lay down to rest in my clothes
among the bushes, little aware that we were then on
the point of commencing our memorable retreat to
the lines. We might have been preparing instead,
for aught I knew to the contrary, to drive the French
point blank into Spain. In the first place, I had
enough to do to keep up a regular supply of pro-
visions and forage for the brigade in the field, with-
out troubling myself about state affairs ; and in the
next, little enough of the movements of an army
is known from common talk, even by those who
take pains to enquire. Soon after I had fallen asleep
I was aroused by a messenger, who awakened me in
silence, and communicated the order to march in-
stantly ; and he was scarcely gone when my faithful
capataz, Antonio Gomez, at hand, on the alert, and
obedient to the first summons, attended to receive
rav orders. In a few minutes more he returned with
1.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. '2S5
his brigade of mules, the greater part laden each
with two sacks of forage, all ready to depart. We
were at this time only a short distance, certainly less
than a mile, from the great road to Coimbra, although
unfortunately, part of the intervening track, through
which we had now to pass, was a continuous swamp.
We were in the end, I believe, actually within an
ace of leaving our guns behind us ; at all events, I
never before nor since witnessed a more difficult or
tedious operation than now succeeded, in making
progress across a space only in extent perhaps four
or five hundred yards. Notwithstanding the facul-
ties of expert men, and the powers of highly condi-
tioned horses were at command, the latter frequently
straining at a dead pull scores of times in immediate
succession, the carriages frequently stuck fast in the
mud, without making one single inch of progress for
half an hour together ; in short we were the whole night
at the work, that is actually not less than five hours,
completing this short portion of our way. At last
Enghsh determination successfully prevailed, the day
broke, and the sun slanted his beams on counte-
nances jaded by fatigue and anxiety; but it was not
ere he had mounted high in the horizon, that we were
out of the wood, the artillery brigade clear of its
jeopardy, the men in marching order, in renewed
spirits, and in perfect security proceeding along the
high road leading direct to Coimbra.
The arduous duty allotted in the field to our
English artillery drivers, is very great ; each man,
besides keeping his own clothes as clean as blacking
and pipe-clay can make them, being obliged to groom
and drive his own pair of horses, subject moreover
to obstacles and impediments, such as cannot be
236 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
readily imagined, according to circumstances of ordi-
nary life.
One day especially, I remember, during this retreat,
I witnessed a singular instance of hardihood on the
part of one of these men, on the occasion of a gun
being dragged across a ploughed field, and then
forced, under great disadvantages, over a ditch and
bank on the opposite side, in order to regain the
road. When the carriage, drawn by four horses, and
driven by two postilions, was brought to the charge, the
leaders leapt at once cleverly on the crown of the bank,
and the wheelers also scrambled with difficulty to tlie
same spot; but here the turn was so short, the interven-
ing distance to the opposite hedge being only the
breadth of the lane, that the leading postilion was un-
able to wheel round with nimbleness sufficient to fling
his cattle upon their collars in time to render season-
able aid to the aforesaid wheel-horses ; which latter
consequently, together with the postilion, performed a
summerset backwards, dragging down the other man
and horses upon them, with a crash so severe and
awful, that one would certainly have imagined the
bones, at least, of either man or horse, to have been
broken, though in fact no harm at all was done.
The cause of the accident was evidently in great
part owing to the wheel-horses being ridden by a
man who, till the same morning, had no previous
acquaintance with the cattle, — he was in fact hastily
summoned to the duty, in consequence of the true
postilion being wounded and sick in the rear. The
latter poor fellow, at that moment a spectator of
the disaster, although weakened by illness and
unable to put his arms in the sleeves of his
jacket, which garment was loosely fastened in front
1.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 237
of" his chest, became iinmediately fired with a sol-
dier's ardour. He requested permission of the com-
manding officer to be allowed to ride his horses to
the charge, and literally mounting in that state, with-
out his coat and waistcoat, and the gun being again
brought to the obstacle, his judgment and courage
preponderating over bodily ailments, though his fate
for some seconds was as the balance of a hair,
whipped, kiclied, and shouted with such felicitous
effect, that he forced his cattle on the top of the bank
to sustain their tottering position, till all four horses
pulling together, compelled the ponderous carriage to
ascend.
Oftentimes, in the silent hour of night, the order to
march promulgated in some peaceful village, I have
paused to admire in this one little speck of a great
military system, the spirit of harmony and discipline
that, within the space of a few minutes, roused
many human beings newly wakened from deej) sleep,
each to a strenuous pitch of exertion in his par-
ticular vocation, and amid the busy buzz of voices,
and the trampling and neighing of horses, called
our thundering brigade into motion. The summons
to rise — the bugle's call to "boot and saddle," was
always instantly followed by the discordant brayings
of mighty mules, stilled by brief inteijectional re-
monstrances on the part of the drivers, men and
beasts hurrying together from the stables, and the
rumbling of carriages sonorous as a troop of London
fire-engines. Noises like these continued to fill the
air with clamour without confusion, till in a quarter
of an hour probably from the first blast of the bugle,
the whole body were collected in one dark point of
rendezvous, and silence and desolation once more
•238 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
reigned in the hamlet, whence all had departed. Not
even the conjmanding officer, in many cases, knew
more than simply the direction wherein we were about
to proceed, or was a whit better informed of the ulti-
mate object of the movement than the junior sub-
altern under his command. It was really wonderful
to witness in all parts of this army, with what un-
erring precision a continuous circulation of intelli-
gence was preserved through a body so vast and
subject to disturbances, as an extended line of troops
in rapid motion, and how orders were invariably
delivered at the exact time and place required,
whether night or day, in despite of unexplored rivers,
mountains, and every other natural obstacle, in a
strange country. Such were the services rendered by
the adjutant and quartermaster-general's departments,
assisted by the corps of guides, a class of foreigners,
mounted on light active horses, and exclusively so
employed.
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 239
CHAPTER II.
Arrive at Coimbra — Inhabitants flying before the Enemy — A
Female rescued — Manner of Life during the Retreat of the
British Army — Description of two different Nights' Lodg-
ing — The Duke in Adversity — Artillery Brigade quartered
at Zibreira — Advance in Pursuit of Massena — The French
hard pressed — More than 200 hamstrung Donkeys — Battle-
field of Sabugal — Implacable Revenge of the Peasantry on
their Enemies — General Henry Mackinnon — Spanish Oxen —
Battle of Fuentes d' Onor.
When we amved at Coimbra, subsequent to the
aforesaid battle of Busacos, a woful picture of the
horrors of war was there unfolded ; such as the Duke
of Wellington no doubt had in his view, when he
emphatically declared, that rather had he lay down
his life than live to see the actual seat of war in his
own country ; and well indeed may he who really
loves this blessed land, exclaim to her peaceful,
wrangling inhabitants,
" O fortunati nimium sua si bona norint,"
The bridge over the Mondego, no longer spanning in
silence the tranquil stream below, was now covered
by crowds of inhabitants agonized by grief and terror.
The people of Portugal had already been invited by
the local authorities, at the suggestion of the Duke
Wellington, to abandon their homes on the retreat of
the allied army, to carry with them all their move-
able effects, and to drive their cattle under cover of
our troops to the rear; so that we no sooner gave
way on the present occasion, namely, the advance of
1>40 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
Massena on Coimbra on the 15th October, 1810, than
the town in consequence became an awful scene of
tumult. It being the object of each array first to ar-
rive hither at the same point, all the troops were now
drawing- to a focus ; and as the Duke had receded
from the position taken up in front of the town for
the purpose of covering the retreat of the inhabitants,
some regiments were necessarily obliged to halt in
order that others might pass ahead to occupy their
allotted position in the line of march, and all began
mutually in some degree to impede each other's way.
Our brigade of artillery, having halted the whole
morning in the outskirts, crossed the bridge about
three o'clock in the afternoon, at which time, men,
women, and children, scared from their peaceful
homes, were flying before the enemy. Although
close to the guns ; mounted on a slender mule I felt
grievously the w^ant of a more powerfid animal on
this occasion ; such was the crush and impetuosity
wherewith I was pressed among a crowd of poor
miserable creatures on every side. Some lay down
exhausted to die by the road side, others ejaculated
prayers and supplications, which alas ! for the most
part were utterly unheeded ; such is the degree of
hardness that the heart naturally attains from the
paramount importunities of duty. Already I had
learnt to acquire, by the care of providing for the
living, an inflexible apathy, that, with the exception
of now and then giving a biscuit from my haversack,
or administering a draft of water to the wounded
from the stream that trickled by, compelled me to be
as deaf in ordinary cases to the prayer of agony, as
to the wailings of a mendicant.
In the course of the campaign, happened a few
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 241
singular exceptions, of which I could recount seve-
ral, though one shall suffice, not only because it
occuned on this very day, but because at another
period, and in another place, as will by and by be
related, I was enabled, under a similar pressing ex-
igency, again to afford assistance in the hour of peril
to the subject of the present anecdote. We had now
proceeded about four or five English mites fi-om
Coimbra, when, among other numerous victims of
despair, I particularly though casually remarked a
female, in forai and feature as lovely as I ever be-
held, whose dress and appearance marked her to
belong to the gentler classes of society ; bereft of
hope, as it appeared, and recklessly extended by
the side of the road. As she raised her dark eyes on
my approach, I fancied that I perceived in her air
and attitude, even under the most abject misery,
the graces of an elegant, high-bred woman ; and in a
moment imagination completed the picture of a fair
tender blossom severed from its parent stock by the
raging humcane. In the few short sentences which,
owing to inteiTuptions from the crowd, I was with
much difficulty able to interchange, she gave me to
understand in Portuguese, that she had recently, for the
first time in her life, left her home ; that she was the
newly married wife of a Portuguese officer, that she
had two days before lost her way, that she was ex-
hausted by fatigue and hunger ; and now, she said,
nothing could save her but to die ; repeating at the
same time the words " Eu morro," " I am dying,"
with such bitter emphasis, that I almost feared she
was already too far attenuated to avail herself of
succour. I comforted her as well as I could, and
promised aid. " Tern coracao Senhora, aqui venho
VOL. II. M
242 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
logo certamente," said I, " Take heart lady, I will
presently surely return again." I then left her to
return to my brigade, of which I was, fortunately for
the object in view, a little ahead, and eventually,
though nobody, unless those acquainted with the
habits of stem denial exercised in the artillery ser-
vice to applications of such a nature, and moreover
the rigid disciplinarian though excellent man whom
at such a critical moment I had to deal with, can
imagine the trouble I had to succeed. After really
earnest supplication, I obtained the sufferer a seat on
one of tlie guns. Conveying to her the grateful in-
telligence, I lent the support of my arm, and con-
ducted her out of harm's way ; in short, I saw her
placed upon a carriage in as easy a position as pos-
sible, where, considering her free from difficulty and
danger, I left her and returned to my duty. After-
wards I had the satisfaction to learn, from those to
whose immediate care she was consigned, that in
the course of the day's march, she happily recog-
nized a baggage partly belonging to her husband's
regiment, and in company with countrymen and
friends, had departed accordingly.
During the whole of this retreat, I continued to
live with the officers of the artillery brigade, whose
mess was seldom, if ever, so much disorganized, but
that we contrived somehow, and somewhere, during
each and every day, to assemble and sit down to
dinner. Our common habitation was an ordinary
round tent, wherein at night we all lay down in our
clothes ; and in it we sometimes dined, though fre-
quently in the open air. When in two par-
ticular instances, and only in those two, I availed
myself of appearances that seemed to offer more eli-
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 243
gible quai-ters for the night, it so turned out, that
in one case the kindness of fortune actually proved
in the end a disaster, and in the other, amounted
to a complete failure ; so that it were quite as well
had I in both instances been contented to remain
where I was. On the first of these occasions, I
caused my mattress to be comfortably laid down in
a house removed a mile out of the line of march,
anticipating at least one sound night's rest. Acr
cordingly, at an early hour, I undressed and went
to bed, but had no sooner fallen asleep, than the
greater part of the roof of the building was blown
off with a violent explosion, that covered me at
the same time with dust and loibbish. No wonder,
that on the s])ot I had inadvertently chosen, con-
tiguous to the reserve ammunition of the army,
which on that very night, the duke, hard pressed by
the enemy on his retreat, had issued orders to de-
stroy, a good quarter remained unoccupied. From
the silence that followed the event, I was aware it
occurred from premeditated design, and therefore
judging danger to be over, composed myself again
to rest ; nor do I at this moment know, as we
marched again early the next morning, how far dis-
tant I lay removed from the point of explosion.
The other iustance in question happened when we
were near the lines, and I by chance obtained an
excellent bed in a fine spacious house ; that is to
say, the bed and the dwelling, compared with such
as had hitherto been allotted to me as a commis-
sariat clerk, were entitled to the distinction; at any
rate, as the brigade was about to halt the next
morning, I the more readily availed myself of the
contingency. At night 1 was ushered into a chamber
M 2
244 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
fitted up in a style of luxurious elegance that sur-
prised me ; the air was fragrant with a cloud of burnt
lavender; the furniture of exquisite finish, the snowy
sheets were trimmed with a broad flounce orna-
mented by a rich pattern of open work daintily
wrought by the needle, and the bed itself of the
purest down, was, rather than stuffed, if I may
use the term, inflated like an air balloon. Alone,
and after a hard day''s work, for besides having in
the morning performed a long circuit in quest of sup-
plies, I had recourse to extra hard riding in order to
communicate with my chief at head quarters, I
thought, previous to lying down, of the vicissitudes
of fortune, that now, treating me sumptuously in
mockery, called to mind the freaks of the fairies
of old, and genii, who were wont knavishly to
tantalize humble people, for mere sport's sake, with
the pseudo paraphernalia of magnificence; and I con-
tinued to look round and round at every article in the
room, carpet, china, furniture, &c., every individual
thing by turns, as if 'twere impossible to admire the
whole taken together, half enough. As I became
lost in contemplation, the soft misty perfume that I
inhaled shed a soporific influence on the senses, in
earnest of the placid sleep I was about to obtain, and
the poppies of Morpheus now quickly fell on my
brow, yet still I determinedly sat on the side of the
bed, persisting to admire. I nodded with drowsiness,
my eyes drew straws, and my head at last sank upon
my chest ; I started and endeavoured to rally, but re-
sistance was vain, as I murmured in soliloquy
"Now, gentle sleep, like a lover will I woo thee,"
and the tender bed simultaneously, and as it
were sympathetically, gently rendering its sup-
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 245
port to my shoulders, like a kind mistress whisper-
ing in my ear, "and so you shall." In-esistible
sleep fell upon me, and I never awoke till the
morning, my feet resting on the floor in the precise
attitude, unconsciously, wherein I had sat on the bed
tester the night before. I started up in surprise and
in my clothes, grieved at an opportunity again un-
likely to recur thus needlessly lost. It was broad
daylight, and I set about my business.
Even after a long intervening period I reflect with
wonder iipon the perfect order and precision main-
tained throughout every branch of the army, during
this splendid movement, performed for many succes-
sive days under the grievous disadvantage of stormy
tempestuous weather. With no less pleasure do I
recall to my recollection the cool contemplative de-
meanor of the great commander, under the most
trying of mortal vicissitudes, a full retreat ; pelted by
merciless rain, harassed, jaded, restricted to a foot's
pace of his steed by the throng and pressure of the
troops, yet vigorously scanning, no doubt, in thought,
the fastnesses and strongholds of the mountains, and
confidently mocking in anticipation the enemy in
our rear. Calm, stedfast resolution was depicted on
a countenance, whereon of coming events no mortal
eye could read the shadows, yet cheering by its in-
flexibility the allied troops under his command, and
inspiriting the hearts of the Portuguese. Under dif-
ferent and favourable auspices, whether on the morning
we broke from the lines in pursuit, springing forward
exultingly on his charger, and eagerly demanding of
a horseman in advance, " Have you seen the enemy ? "
or entering the town of Toulouse, amid shouting,
screaming of the multitude, and greeted by the un-
folded drapeau blanc, among thousands of spectators
246 MEMOIR OF AN [CH.
in the blazing moment of victory ; of all times and
seasons, when to have marked that countenance in
bygone days, conveys now the most impressive
lesson to the mind, was during the heavy jElagging
homrs of adversity, on that memorable retreat.
Captain Lawson's brigade of artillery, during our
sojourn within the lines at Torres Vedras, was posted
on the rocliy heights, in an inaccessible position,
above the small village of Zibreira, where, as our sup-
plies were for the most part obtained from Lisbon
while we occupied this temtory, I had less interest-
ing occupation in the performance of my duty. I for
my part was heartily glad to emerge from limits so
confined, when, at ten o'clock one morning, the order
to march delivered to us in common with the rest ot
the troops, caused a generally joyful sensation. The
immediate consequence of the movement was the
discovery, that the sentries on the advance posts of
the enemy, were figures of straw, prepared by a ruse
de guerre^ for the purpose of favouring their retreat.
We had now a speedy opportunity of ascertaining
the truth of previous reports of the ravages caused
among the French ranks by disease and the want of
provisions, and according to the accounts of the in-
habitants of the deserted villages, with w^hom on first
leaving the lines we held communication, found the
same fully verified. Having proceeded to the extent
only of two or three days' mai'ch in advance of our
old position, at Zibreira, we halted till, all the dis-
positions for a general pursuit being completed, we
then advanced every day in the rear of the enemy ;
the number of horses, mules, and men also, that lay
dead, and dying, from sheer fatigue by the road-side,
being even beyond our expectation.
By dint of incessant toil alone 1 was enabled now
,11.} ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 247
to obtain the full amount of forage allotted by his
Majesty's regulations, to the horses of the brigade,
being not unfrequently obliged to diverge ten or
twelve miles to the right or left of the line of march,
whithersoever there appeared even a moderate chance
of meeting with success ; afterwards following the
brigade on their march by day, or by night, by light,
or by dark, and finding them as well as I could.
Especially previous to the affair of Sabugal, at
which period I merely visited our tent at night to
stretch myself on the ground, when making a detour
for the purpose of obtaining a proportion of forage
expected to arrive by the commissariat mule bri-
gades from the rear, I remember that for three suc-
cessive days I ate nothing but biscuit, which, when
hungry, I drew from my haversack.
At the battle of Sabugal were the enemy in good
truth hard pressed on their retreat. Of this affair I
was not actually a witness, although I passed over
the field hardly a couple of hours after the fight was
over ; but not long before, at Ponte de Murcella on
the river Alva, such were the symptoms of dismay
among their retiring troops, that I saw at least two
hundred asses, baggage animals, maimed and de-
stroyed, to prevent their falling into our hands, and
lying thickly strewed within the compass of a
very small field. A sorry return to these patient
animals for former services ; and it was melancholy
to observe several of the little creatures, which, for
want of time the executioner had omitted to slay,
standing mournfully among their murdered compa-
nions, treated even with less compassion, houghed,
or hamstrung, miserable and useless for ever, the
248 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
sinew of the hough divided by a common knife.
Having ridden a long distance from my brigade
on the morning of the battle, on my return, I suc-
cessfully fell upon their route ; nevertheless, owing
to the counter arrangements and doublings which
always occur among troops immediately previous to
coming in contact with an enemy, and most frequently
continue till the event of the day is thoroughly de-
cided, even then I lost my way ; in fact, nobody with
an army is able to predict, on the onset of a battle,
the spot within several miles, likely to be occupied
by any particular portion of the troops at its close.
A commissary on such occasions must thread his way
through the maze as well as he can ; and this, in
most instances, is no easy matter to accomplish;
amid conflicting reports, chiefly of wounded men,
whose information reaches at all events no farther
than the point where they were hit, troops from
various points meanwhile uniting suddenly, and
then diverging again as quickly in many different
directions. Now, once arrived at the scene of car-
nage, the track of dead and wounded alone, afforded
sufficient clue.
Were I to swell the category of woful sights to its
real extent, in describing the various scenes of
battles that I have witnessed, I could readily re-
count, without laying stress on the memory, tales of
the human form cut, torn, and pierced, in all the
horrible variety to be read of in Homer ; never-
theless, it will be sufficient merely to mark here and
there an individual case, as I proceed in my course ;
and even then, I am sure it will be thought that I
have said enough. In the present instance, a space
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 249
of ground consisting of several acres was thickly
strewed by corpses and dead horses, as well as men
mortally, others less severely wounded.
I particularly observed a fine fellow, a German
rifleman, sitting, as it were reflectively, upon a frag-
ment of rock, looking apparently with earnestness
towards the ground, his right hand resting on his
knee, his head reclining on his bosom. He was stu-
pified and insensible, supported merely by a strong-
built muscular form, and his glassy eyes were sight-
less and fixed. Though he sat upright, life had almost
fled ; for a musquet ball had perforated the skull, and
the cold shadows of death enveloped his brow. Kind
nature had applied her styptic, but in vain ; the con-
gealed blood, in form like an icicle lengthened
to several inches, incessantly distilled fi-om the
wound, fast dripping in a red pool below ; drops
which, rather than moments, for time with him had
ceased to be, served to measure the close of his ex-
istence.
A little farther removed fi'om the above spot lay a
richly dressed French officer, shot through the body,
gasping for breath, and apparently in death's last
agony. He was at the same time sensible, and
keenly alive to the horrors of his situation ; for the
fallen of that day were still in their clothes, those of
the enemy doomed to dreadful retribution, then too
frequently inflicted by the inhabitants of this ill-
fated country upon the prisoners who fell into their
hands. The dying Frenchman full clearly presaged
his destiny, and probably even ere another hour liad
passed, the short remnant of his time was added to
eternity ; when the inhabitants of the villages, rushing
across the field of battle, as they were wont, pillaged
M 3
250 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
the enemy of their garments, and inflicted death, and
perhaps unnecessary torture, on the bodies of the
dying. The field of Sabugal was now strewed with
the plunder and spoils of the peasantry, women's
garments especially, left behind in confusion of re-
treat. I was proceeding on my way, and had scarcely
passed the wounded man, when he beckoned me
towards him, and gazing earnestly on my face, sup-
plicated me with a dying tone and gesture to put
him out of his misery. Articulating with difficult}',
he said he feared not to die, but dreaded the thought
of being murdered ; and the Portuguese, he well
knew, would cut his throat like a dog. " Monsieur,"
said he, with resigned determination " faites moi la
grace, pour I'amour de Dieu, d'un coup de fusil dans
ma tete," at the same time stretching out his arm
towards a weapon on the ground, with an air so
ghastly and imploring, that had it been possible to
accede to his request, I should, no doubt, have per-
formed, as regarded his temporal welfare, an act of
mercy. Seriously moved by his appeal, through ne-
cessity I left him to his fate; I had no means to
afford him protection, and silently passed on.
With reference to the above incident, the following
anecdote will shew the compai'ative feeling then ex-
isting among the peasants towards friends, and
inveterate enmity towards their invaders, for whose
sanguinary deeds, deeply as is to be deplored the
atrocity of revenge, many were the villages unroofed
and annihilated, many yet in smoking ruins, and many
the young and aged victims sabred in the streets,
that might have palliated retaliation.
I was riding through strange roads about the
time I have now been speaking, a little before or
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 251
after the battle of Sabugal, towards my brigade,
while they, together with the rest of the army, were
making long marches, and one evening entirely lost my
way, and was benighted. Although in point of actual
distance I had not more than eight or ten English
miles to travel, I was so thoroughly astray, that I
might probably have gone by mistake to the camp of
the enemy, when I knocked at the door of a cottage
by the road-side, and begged of the peasant its owner
to come forth and direct me. " Certamente, Senhor,"
replied the man with alacrity, and without a moment's
hesitation, although comfortable for the evening, he
drew his brown leather boots upon bare feet, and
taking his " pao," a pole seven feet long, in his
hand, sallied forth straight on end from his dwelling.
He now accompanied me willingly, merely from the
regard he bore to my countrymen, through obscure
tracks, across a moor covered with plants of cystus,
walking all the while nearly at the rate of five miles
an hour in front of my mule, " huma boa legoa," a
distance fully equal to four English miles ; and he
absolutely insisted on thus continuing to render irie
service, even after he had explained to me my bear-
ings, and ])laced me in the middle of the way. An
act so friendly of a stranger, bespoke universal
philanthropv, and, for my own part, 1 never felt
more implicit confidence, than during the whole of
the way in my rural conductor. I should have fared
differently had I been a Frenchman !
We were ])roceeding across the aforesaid moor,
wliere at a little distance from our track, stood a
wind-mill. " Veja O Senhor, aqueilcmunho ?" "Do
you sec, sir, yonder windmill ? " said my guide. " V(^o,"
"I seeit," said I. "ArVa qu' os diabos, dos Francezes."
252 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
" Ah those devils, the French," rejoined he, grinding
his teeth ferociously, in allusion to some recent recol-
lection; whereupon, seeing he had something to
relate, I extracted the remainder of the history. A
few evenings before, he said, he and some neighbours
surprised in that very mill some French soldiers
in the act of grinding com. The door was open,
and the party seeing those within at work, approached
unperceived with their fire-anns and taking deliberate
aim fired a volley together into the midst. Three or
four, 1 think he said, immediately fell dead, some ran
away, and others lay wounded on the floor. The
latter they made prisoners alive. Then laughing
loudly, in a tone of exultation, he related the savage
torments inflicted on the captives. " Fizemos huma
brincadeira," " We made a frolic," said he, meaning
to refer to the tragedy of which he then related the
detail, of which it may be as well to comprise the
particulai's in few words, namely, that previous to
putting the unfortunate men to a lingering death,
they actually cut out their tongues.
Previous to the battle of Fuentes d' Onor, fought
on the 5th of May, 1811, our brigade of artillery
was stationed at the village of Nave d' Aver, about a
couple of miles distant from the former place. In
August the previous year, at the time of the fall of
Almeida, before the retreat to the lines we occupied
the same post. We remained in the neighbourhood
altogether several days, though I do not remember
how long precisely we were there on the former occa-
sion ; my object being merely to introduce an incident
relating to a highly valued officer and truly excellent
man, Major-General Henry Mackinnon, whom I there
by chance met, with whom I had before passed
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 253
many agreeable hours, and one year had in fact
walked tete-a-tete shooting with him every day
successively nearly for the whole season. Now,
under different circumstances, a commissariat clerk,
I remarked anew those estimable qualities, un-
changed and unchangeable, that characterize a mild,
high-bred spirit. One day calling at my quarters, and
proposing a walk in the country, little as was the
leisure at that period at my disposal, I immediately
acceded to the invitation. In the course of a length-
ened ramble, wherein the conversation turned chiefly
upon my personal affairs, he listened with kind and
attentive interest as I related the events that had
befallen me, and thence we proceeded to discuss
other matters, entirely apart from the subject of his
profession. Arriving at an elevated spot, a wheat
field, whence appeared on every side an ample view
of the landscape around, one particular object riveted
his attention. The sun was then brightly shining
on the lofty white walls of Ciudad Rodrigo. Re-
moving a telescope from its sling, he looked
earnestly at the fortress, without a moment's in-
termission for several minutes, indeed so long and
intently, that I opened a portable black leather
case, that commissariat officers then carried strap-
ped round the shoulder for the purpose of con-
taining their account-books, and proceeded to make
memoranda. Still as I wrote, still anxiously he sur-
veyed the walls, and many minutes elapsed before,
even then unwillingly, he replaced the telescope.
As he left the spot, his countenance was marked by
deep, serious reflection ; and by the inevitable decree
of fate, it happened .on a future day that on those
identical walls, whereon he then so fervently gazed,
t>54 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
he was slain at the capture of the fortress, and oc-
cupied a soldier's grave.
The Portuguese peasantry hate every thing that is
Spanish, whether it be living or dead — even a Spanish
ox. While on the frontier of Spain, I procured some
of these animals, and put them in charge of my
" boiei'o," or " herdsman," who, by virtue of his
office, constantly attended the movements of the
brigade, drove the cattle on all occasions to the best
contiguous pasture, and held meanwhile regular dail}-
communication with me. Stately, rampant creatures
though they were, coal black, with a wide-spreading
horn, and far superior in breed and quality to those
of Portugal, nevertheless I could easily perceive that
the boiero regarded with an evil eye, and a counte-
nance fraught with sullen national antipathy, their
fiery demeanour. A gaunt, bony, uncouth man,
possessing abundant clumsy strength, combined with
no vast share of lithsonieness of limb or activity, the
latter property \va.s that which the froward creatures
now evinced a disposition to put to the test, refusing
to allow themselves to be driven away ; and I left
both man and beasts, the latter tails on end, roaring
defiance, the former flinging about his arms in an
ecstasy of fury, and venting execrtitions. Indeed I
never saw a more forcible picture of rage and de-
spair than was jiourtrayed on this man's countenance
on our next interview on the same evening, when he
returned to my quarters, after having taken depar-
ture in the aforesaid mood, on his separate avocation.
Puffing and blowing for want of breath, and other-
wise grievously agitated, he suddenly burst into ray
presence, his matted black hair rough as a mop, his
glowing red face covered with large drops of perspir-
li.], ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENEIUL. 255
alion, his " pao," " long pole," discoloured by mud,
capote torn, and temper irritated to a furious degree
of excitement. For a few seconds he was utterly
unable to articulate, and when at last his imprisoned
thoughts found vent, he ejaculated his words with an
air of ludicrous gravity, — " Olhe, Senhor," "Look
ye, Sir," said he, with a look of inflexible faith,
devoutly crossing himself meanwhile on the forehead
and bosom with his thumb, as if seriously desiring to
be believed, even to the utmost limit of his phrase.
*' 01h«, Senhor, " aquelles verdadeiramcnte nao estao
boes, mais estao algums malditos grandes demonios."
" Look ye. Sir, certainly those are not oxen, but
some great cursed devils." And then he related,
with tears in his eyes, how, cocking their tails, thej^
galloped straight away, topping all the stone walls
that stood in their course, still continuing their head-
long speed ; nor were they yet, he said, retaken,
though pursued almost to the last extreme gasp of
himself and his Portuguese companions.
On the morning of the battle, owing to an unusual
contingency, every man and horse belonging to our
brigade had quitted the village of Nave d'Aver, and
taken up a position on the plain, while I remained
alone in my quarters asleep a full hour. 1 rose early,
as accustomed to do, — yet every one had risen
before, — as in a disturbed dream, I was belated,
and all were gone. A party of French cavalry, more-
over, more than once during the intervening time,
galloped through the village, fortunately without
exploring the recesses of my habitation. At no
period during the campaign did such an occurrence
happen either since or before, caused now chiefly by
arriving unusually late at my quarters, having failed
•256 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
to communicate with my commanding officer the
evening before ; and whether in the end, the order to
march arrived suddenly, or was communicated at
short notice, at any rate my people departed with
the rest, and left me behind.
Calling aloud, nobody returning an answer, and
perceiving my baggage was taken away, an operation
by the way requiring vastly little, either of time
or space, instantly aware of the risk of remaining
where I was, I hurried on my clothes, and seizing
by the bridle my mule, which I found tied up
ready saddled in the stable, mounted her and rode
away. When I arrived on the middle of the plain
between the village of Nave d'Aver and Fuentes
D'Onor, the guns of our brigade were already drawn
up there in line, pointing to what might in fact be
called a thick copse or wood, about a furlong dis-
tant ; at least the ground here, generally interspersed
with large cork trees, assumed that appearance. The
enemy's troops, especially cavalry, were in strong
force on the surrounding heights ; a degree of bustle
void of confusion prevailed among the officers of the
staff, and appearances on every side were indicative
of an approaching conflict. The steadiness of the
troops meanwhile was particularly remarkable, none
indeed but an eye-witness can form an adequate
notion of the extreme state of tranquil coolness of
the British soldier to the last moment before going
into action. Often have I witnessed a party of men
stretched at their ease on the ground on the im-
mediate eve of a battle, about to partake of probably
a last earthly meal, which ceremony, as a matter of
necessity under such circumstances, is frequently re-
sorted to, conversing together in the same thoughtless
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY GENERAL. 257
joyousness as if death were a mere fantasy, the past
and future a vain dream, and as if, moreover, the
whole object of present existence were to secure a
share of the pottage ; nay, I have literally observed
him whose heart's blood was perhaps afterwards shed
on the plain, rail at a clumsy companion for spilling a
spoonful of gravy ; and I have remarked countenances
as cheerful, and heard shouts of laughter resound
as merrily, notwithstanding the awfulness of the
moment, as at a harvest home.
Commissariat, as well as all other army arrange-
ments, owing to the uncertain position of affairs,
being for the time in abeyance, I had disposed of my
supplies and cattle so as to be ready to move at a
moment's warning in any direction, and remained
with my brigade close to Captain Lawson, then in
command of the guns, waiting till some decisive
event should happen. An aide-de-camp from Sir
Brent Spencer now rode up hastily, with an order im-
mediately to limber up and retire. Lawson, anxious
for a share of the day's work, received the order in
dudgeon, and as the aide-de-camp rode away " put
them in cotton," said he to himself, muttering the
words crustily between his teeth ; at the same time,
being a good soldier, he retired accordingly. At this
moment 1 was so much interested with the present
scene, for the French cavalry not only continued to
collect in great force, but were actually skirmishing
with ours, and repeatedly charging in the distance,
that I neglected to draw a proper inference from the
order I had just heard delivered, and remained on the
spot where I was, after the guns had limbered up
accordingly and were gone. All of a sudden, while
258 MEMOIES OF AN [CH.
I was intently observing the motions of the enemy,
a cannon shot from the above-mentioned wood, sud-
denly came whizzing through the air, and with a
sound as if moving precisely in the same line where
I stood, struck the ground at the distance of about
thirty yards. The noise of the flying shot, and the
heavy slap as it impinged on the ground, so frightened
my mule, that the animal turned instantly round on
her haunches as quick as a cat, and with such vio-
lence of motion, that, assisted by my ducking my
head peihaps at the same time, caused my hat to fall
on the gi'ound, which I immediately alighted to pick
up. Another cannon-shot quickly followed the first,
striking nearly the same spot ; then came another,
and others in rapid succession ; in short, 1 now
found myself inadvertently in front of the British
line, and under fire, I think of six guns, which con-
tinued to discharge shot without intermission from
the cover of the wood. At this crisis, desirous
as I was of changing my station, I was unable to per-
suade my perverse mule to stir an inch for the re-
covery of my hat, although at the moment I would
readily have given the mule in exchange for the hat,
or have parted with both together, so that I were at
any rate once again prosperously removed from the
spot. Under present circumstances there was but
one thing to be done. I seized the villainous beast,
one hand on the jaw, the other on the nose, and thus
forced her backwards, snorting defiance, in the neces-
sary direction. I had no sooner effected this ma-
noeuvre with success, and removed to another position,
than the battle became general, and the aforesaid
place that I then occupied, a principal scene of action.
il»] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY'GENERAL. 259
Our guns had a great deal to do this day in cover-
ing the infantry, who, without such protection, would
have been giievously exposed to the enemy's cavalry.
As with intense interest, on that memorable morning
I remained watching the destinies of friends and
messmates enveloped in a cloud of smoke, collected
in its dense centre, and incessantly discharging shot
and Shrapnel shells among the ranks of the enemy,
as if sustaining by roaring thunder, the chief
brunt of the battle, — suddenly, with a tremendous
explosion, a tumbril blew up. I saw a white pillar
of smoke burst upwards with fearful rapidity ; I saw
an inverted cone formed with instantaneous ex-
pansion, and I saw the vapoi'ous volume then roll far
away in the air, and take peaceful station among the
clouds of heaven. Yet for many minutes I was
totally ignorant how many of my friends and com-
panions had attended its fatal summons. Fortunately,
little mischief ensued, and the accident created no
dismay ; a horse or two were killed, and one driver
slightly wounded; but the cannonade continued as
fierce as ever.
After the work of the morning was over, 1 had the
satisfaction of meeting all the officers of the artillery
brigade unhurt, and moreover of congratulating them
the same day in person when assembled at dinner.
It was a hasty repast, consisting of cold fare spread
on the ground, and since the place was a very little
way removed from the field of battle, the less was
my surprise on lifting a large stone, which T had
chosen for the purpose of a seat, from a heaj) a few
yards distant, when I uncovered the foot and leg of
an officer, that, amputated in the morning, duringtho
260 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
action, there lay buried. The discovery produced
not the slightest bad effect upon any body's appetite.
The whole of the next morning, as it seemed
doubtful whether or not the French would recom-
mence the attack, our troops remained steadily on
their posts, and as I walked over the bed of the slain,
though the dead were for the most part removed, I
here remarked, for the first time in my life, in several
instances, that peculiar charked and seared appear-
ance, observable on the lacerated remains of limbs
when severed by cannon-shot. Rough, as are the
means whereby the cannon-ball performs its work,
even though it tear away legs, arms, or thighs, yet it
draws no blood ; a paralysis of the heart succeeds
the mighty shock, and causes the divided muscles to
remain as dry as if the body were dead a week.
French cavalry horses lay dead on the ground in
considerable numbers, and already numerous shoals
of blue hawks, the colour of wood-pigeons, were col-
lected in the vicinity, hovering high in the air, in
eager expectation of the moment when, the troops
on the ground having quitted their post, they might
pounce upon their prey. Numerous troux de loups,
or small round holes arranged in rows diamond pat-
tern on the plain, each hole about the size of the
outer rim of a broad hat, and deep enough to render
the ground impassable to horses at speed without
their falling, were here prepared by the British army
for the protection of the infantry irom the charge of
the French cavalry. The Duke of Wellington in
person and on the alert, was on the field a great
part of the morning. For a long time he lay sup-
ported by his elbow on the ground surrounded by
II.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 261
all his staff. When I approached the spot where
the party reclined in a group, the duke would now
and then, raising his head, laugh and chat livelily
with the rest, and again resuming his occupation,
gravely read the Gazeta da Lisboa.
262 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
CHAPTER III.
Receive promotion — Appointed to Sir Brent Spencer's portion
of the Army — Wine destroyed — Commence the March to
the Alemtejo — Cattle swimming across the Tagus at Villa
Velha — Forty-eight successive Hours on horseback — Put in
charge of a Depot at Alto da Chao — Ordered thence to take
charge of the Depot at Celorico — Manner of Life and Duties
— Infested by Rats — Pithing Cattle— A Tame Wolf^Oxcart
Transport — INIisery of the indigent Iidiabitants — Descent of
Marmont on the Frontier of Beira — Magazines destroyed.
Having at length served to the extent of the period
requisite to qiiahfy me for promotion, 1 was gratified
by obtaining it accordingly, and appointed to act as
deputy assistant commissary-general, which rank
was in due course conferred at home by the Treasury.
The comparative grade of a commissariat clerk, as
relates to the army, was at that time dubious ; never-
theless, I was thereby probably exalted to the level
of a lieutenant. It is extraordinaiy, since an inti-
mate connexion on service prevails between the com-
missariat and his Majesty's troops, that the rank and
privileges of the former were never clearly defined
during the Peninsular- campaign.
Removed from the brigade on a new service, I
now bade adieu to my kind friends the officers of the
artillery, being attached to a portion of the army
commanded by Sir Brent Spencer, about to under-
take their projected movement across the Tagus to
the Alemtejo. The garrison of Almeida under Gene-
III.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 263
ral Brennier, having already made their escape in the
night, had formed junction with Massena; and this
part of the allied army was now hastening to rein-
force Beresford by the route of Castello Branco,
Niza, and Portalegre. One morning, previous to the
affair of Albuera, having according to orders caused
some pipes of wine to be staved to prevent the con-
tents falling into the hands of the enemy, we com-
menced our march. The wine was deposited in a
chapel, and as the heads of the casks were bulged in,
rushed along the road in a torrent that washed the
knees of my terrified and snorting mule, an execrably
slow beast, than which I at that moment longed for a
fleeter quadruped; such as, switching his tail in the
distance, and bearing the officer under whose im-
mediate orders I acted, an eye-watness of their exe-
cution, I perceived on the summit of high ground
full three quarters of a mile farther removed than
myself from the enemy, the latter being now on the
])oint of approaching the hollow where I stood.
As from service already performed w^ith the
artillery, I was now sufficiently versed in the mode of
supplying troops in motion ; although my duties were
much increased, acquaintance with the routine ren-
dered matters much more easy. Nevertheless, I
chanced to undergo, especially on one particular oc-
casion during the present movement, a great deal
of hard work, on the day before and subsequent
to crossing the Tagus. With a view to super-
intend the distribution of the cargoes of various
brigades of mules converging from different points
laden with provisions and forage, and afterwards
proceed three or four leagues to Villa Velha,
where the bridge of boats was then prepared for the
264 MEMOIRS OF AX [CH.
transit, having already been actively employed in out-
door occupation nearly the whole of the day, now,
without taking any previous rest, I mounted my mule
at eleven o'clock at night and departed. It was in-
dispensable to start at this unseasonable hour for the
sake of arriving at the Tagus by daybreak the next
morning ; although, in spite of precaution, the ope-
ration of crossing with our present number of troops
proved a tedious aifair, our herds of cattle especially
being forced by the Portuguese boeiros into the river
and obliged to swim across a stream equal in breadth
to the Thames at Staines. It was curious to observe
the mode pi'actised on this occasion ; for although
three or four of the highest couraged creatures, by
shouting and cudgelling, were actually compelled to
take the water in a straight line, the object was not
accomplished without sundry failures. Several times
did they, moaning and roaring, turn round towards
the land, whence they were as often lustily beaten
away, till finding resistance utterly hopeless, they set
their heads in right earnest to the opposite shore,
and the remainder of the herd being driven into
the water, then quietly followed.
Our cattle and laden mules being conducted safe
across the river, and following the route of the troops,
I had no sooner arrived at the end of the day's march
at nine o'clock at night, than I received orders to
return immediately to the bridge on the Tagus, whence
in the morning I had started, on duty relating to other
brigades of mules, of whose probable arrival at that
spot notice had been since received. I accordingly
remounted my mule, and crossed the mountains back
again during the night to Villa Velha ; at which
place, after being occupied on business for several
Ill,] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 265
hours I procured a fresh animal, set forward on the
road to Portalegre, and anived a little before mid-
night, having been upwards of foily-eight successive
hours in the saddle. One short period of sound rest,
however, is to be deducted, which I obtained on the
way, for on one occasion, rolling from side to side as
T rode along from sheer drowsiness, during a burning
hot day, and observing a chapel which cast a cool
shadow on the grass below, I called a peasant
towards me, gave him my mule to hold, and threw
myself on the ground. Immediately I was asleep ;
having looked at my watch before 1 lay down. The
period of rest prescribed was a quarter of an hour,
and the peasant, faithfully awakening me at its ter-
mination, at the same time put an end to our brief
acquaintance, and earned a quarter dollar.
80 soon as the troops were distributed at their
several posts in the Alemtejo, I was removed from
my present employment, to take charge of a newly-
I'ormed depot of provisions and forage established at
the beautiful rural town of Alto da Chao. During
the period I remained here, small detachments were
in continual motion, and as the business on my
hands became in some particulars more extensive
than before, in others altogether new, lack of
experience and want of system were necessarily
recompensed by harder labour. A young, active,
intelligent clerk was here allotted to me, not versed
in commissariat affairs, but ready to supply by good
humour and industry other deficiencies. We began
work in the office every morning at five o'clock,
and frequently were without a moment to spare,
even to take breakfast, before two in the after-
noon. Within the walls of this office I passed
vox.. II. N
26'6 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH,.
nearly the whole of my time at Alto da Chao, whence
my recollections of the place and its vicinity, though
vivid, are few. Clean and airy, it was, of all the
towns it was ever my lot to reside in while in Portu-
gal, at that time apparently the least disturbed by
apprehensions of the enemy. The principal inhabit-
ants were for the most part in occupation of their
houses, and had not my own duties made me mindful
of the presence of the British army, I might almost
have imagined that the seat of war was in another
country.
Having remained at Alto da Chao upwards of a
couple of months, that is to say till the middle of
August, I received orders to proceed across the
Tagus towards the frontier of Beira, and there take
charge of the depot at Celorico.
The commissariat duties of this post, owing to its
advanced position towards the army, whereof it was
the entrepot of all manner of stores, provisions, and
forage on the route from the several points of Coim-
bra, Raiva, and St. Joao da Pesqueira ; being a cen-
tral point for the organization of ox-cart transport
collected from the adjacent country ; a thoroughfare
for numerous detachments incessantly moving to and
from the army ; and lastly, containing an extensive
hospital establishment for the sick and wounded;
were at the time in question, heavy and multifarious.
The fluctuation in the number of the troops quartered
in the town and vicinity, for whom it was indis-
pensable to provide daily rations, was irregular and
excessive ; transport moreover was required to con-
vey the said rations to the out-quarters in the
neighbourhood; and the continual throng of people,
applicants on various other branches of service on
HI.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 267
the one hand, and unavoidable difficulty and official
delay on the other, created a press of business so
grievous that my office was literally besieged, all day,
every day, and for days together, like a poll-booth at
a contested election. In the street opposite my house
a crowd of voracious people were for ever in attend-
ance, whose numbers, continually refreshed by new
comers, increased always quite as fast, and some-
times a great deal faster than I could dispatch the
old ones, notwithstanding that during the summer I
usually began work at five o'clock in the morning,
and allowing for the interval of dinner and a ride of
a couple of miles afterwards out of the town, ex-
tended office hours till ten at night.
My own room was open to the public, that is to
say, the door was never shut; and since the office
of the clerks for issuing rations was immediately
contiguous, a buzz of tongues and stamping of feet
continually resounded in the passage. My own
occupation was that of managing the wholesale
receipts and issues of provisions, forage, and stores,
sent by brigades of mules and bullock-carts from
the rear, and consigning supplies to the field com-
missaries with the army. Daily returns shewing the
existing state of the depot were regularly dispatched
to head quarters, whereby the number of mules sent
from the divisions, brigades, or cavalry regiments,
to Celorico, was chiefly regulated, but nevertheless
the transport was frequently detained two, three, or
more days, waiting the arrival of consignments from
the rear. Commissariat officers, when within a rea-
sonable distance from the depot, would frequently
ride thither to look after their loitering mules, and
vie with each other in obtaining a share of the sup-
N 2
268 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
plies, which I was nevertheless compelled to equalize
according to the numbers dependent on the station.
A commissary arriving from the army was invariably
constrained to force a passage towards my office
through the crowd of capatazes and muleteers by
whom it was continually surrounded, and then screw
his way with equal difficulty towards a point in the
centre where I sat all day ensconced by a breastwork
of tables. I had, in fact, arranged a regular line of
defence fronting the door, and as far removed as
practicable ; but it may be necessary to give a little
account of the house as well as my citadel of
duty.
The town of Celorico was at this time deserted by
almost all the inhabitants, except those who either
had few household efiects to lose, or who derived
profit one way or other by their intercourse with the
army ; consequently the quarters allotted to me as
a private dwelling and offices consisted of a large
rambling house, the name of whose owner, if ever
I heard it, I have totally forgotten. However, it
had suffered grievous dilapidations during the pre-
vious occupancy of the enemy. The less my com-
punction, from its desolated appearance, in re-
sorting to an expedient consistent with the general
state of repair, and whereof I have availed myself
on other occasions and in other places, on service,
to obtain the luxury of a fire ; for although Celo-
rico, not far removed from the lofty ridge of moun-
tains, the Sierra d' Estrella, covered with snow
all the year round, is frequently visited in the winter
by sharp frost, yet not any of the sitting rooms in
the houses are provided with grates or chimneys.
The mode I now took to remedy the defect, may
III.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 269
serve to give some idea of the condition of the
dwelling to which it was applied. Simple, both in
design and execution ; it was merely as follows.
In a corner of my parlour or dining room I nailed a
small wooden batten on the floor, inclosing between
the two walls a triangular space, whereupon I spread
a compost of mud, lighted a lire, and knocked a hole
in the ceiling above to let the smoke out through
the upper windows.
On taking possession of the aforesaid office,
which was a room on the ground floor, it was not
only applied to purposes of business, but, being
provided with a small adjoining recess, served on
my arrival at the station for a dormitory, and there,
in fact, I might have continued to sleep, if not at
last fairly driven away by the rats. A flour store im-
mediately contiguous to the chamber, not only caused
them to congregate in extraordinary numbers, but they
became so bold that I have literally, on their making
their appearance while I sat writing among a crowd
of people in the middle of the day, not unfrequently
requested persons to stand aside, and with a horse-
pistol, previously loaded for the purpose, killed two
or three at a shot. The nuisance created by the
vermin at night was really dreadful ; like dogs they
galloped round the room squeaking and fighting one
with another, and not contented wdth running over me
as I lay in bed, at last absolutely used my person as a
convenient landing-place to drop upon from the ceiling
to the floor. The latter liberty being quite unbearable
and startling me to boot; and since mortal patience
could sustain it no longer, I resolved to have recourse
to poison, and laid baits accordingly in different parts
of the room for several succeeding nights, which
'270 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
being tasted and approved, I afterwards mixed with
arsenic. It were quite impossible to describe the
wheezing, spitting, sniffing, and coughing that suc-
ceeded the deadly repast ; indeed, I for some time lay
awake listening, really astonished to believe such
sounds could possibly proceed from animals so
small ; to say nothing of certain other noises, the
effect of indispositon, whereto, from their extreme
peculiarity, I will only cursorily allude ; suffice it to
say that their internal organs were affected in every
possible way. Notwithstanding the success of the
enterprise, whereby at any rate near a score the next
morning were picked up dead in the room, and
many wandering comatose, and paralytic, according-
ly destroyed, the enemy, notwithstanding their loss,
repaired their ranks by fresh reinforcements, and in
ten days' time were as audacious as ever ; collecting
in small droves behind trunks and boxes against
the wainscot of the room, and bolting across form
one ambuscade to another on their way to their
holes, — during which latter movements I took occa-
sion to kill them with a pistol, as I said before.
As regards business, my dwelling, at all events,
was in a centrical situation, — for the slaughtering
place of the cattle, consisting of a large open space,
whereon from twelve to twenty head for the use of
llie depot were killed every morning, was under my
office windows ; the butchers' store too was in a
contiguous outhouse, part of the same building.
The cattle are pithed by the butchers, as is well
known in Portugal. For my part I abstained as far
as practicable from sanctioning the pi'actice, pre-
ferring, from mere motives of humanity, the English
way ; in fact, the rolling and quivering of the eye-
in.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 271
balls, the tremulous spasms of the rigidly stiffened
limbs, and altogether the homd contortions pro-
duced, through the agency of the nerves, on the pro-
strate beast by pithing, are really dreadful to behold.
Without dwelling longer on a disagreeable subject
than is absolutely necessary, let the uninformed
reader, in order to understand the operation, placing
his finger on his pole or node of the neck, as it
is sometimes called, in that small cavity just under
the protuberant part of the skull, imagine his chin
violently thrust downwards in contact with his breast,
and then a dagger driven into the aforesaid cavity
to the centre of the forehead, pointblank through his
brains.
While thus I laboured day after day at the receipt
of custom, one personage attendant upon the house-
hold, invariably one of the crowd never by any
accident out of the way, I have omitted to mention —
a tame, full-grown, female wolf, so perfectly domes-
ticated and well known as to be little feared, chained
at the door, in such a position that no individual,
whether great or small, could enter the office and ap-
proach the table where I sat without absolutely step-
ping over her back. I procured the animal, a whelp
a few days old, from a peasant then about to destroy
it with the rest of the litter, at Alto da Chao ; and
having at the same time attached to my baggage
a puppy of a large breed, somewhat older, both ani-
mals became on the most friendly terms and grew up
together; wherefore, I am enabled literally to assert,
that I have ridden through the streets of a town with
a wolf at the heels of my horse. Such was literally
the case on more than one occasion ; nay more,
the dog — a tall, stump-tailed, black and tan animal.
272 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
half terrier half mastiff — and wolf accompanied me
both together two miles from and back again to
Celorico, whether it be that the wolf was allured by
the society of the dog, or that the act as regards the
former be construed into following me.
The habits of a domesticated wolf bear close
affinity to those of the dog; unlike the cowardly
cringing fox, prone to hide itself in holes, the wolf
displays bold sportive tricks, gallant bearing, and
noble demeanour. But the wolf is the savage, the
fox the knave, the dog the gentleman ; like a man
whose interest is thoroughly excited, so the wolf,
his appetite once roused, acts according to his na-
ture. This animal, when loose, galloping playfully
round in circles, leaping, bounding, and flourishing
her tail like a hound or Newfoundland dog, testify-
ing moreover recognition of her master, laying her
paws on my shoulder and even licking my face;
yet the moment a leg of mutton appeared on the
table, neither friend nor foe dared interfere or pre-
vent her from innnediately making the prize her
own.
A ludicrous instance of this vivid untameable
impulse of a beast of prey one day occurred, while
the creature was lying apparently asleep among the
feet of a crowd of Spanish muleteers. One of these
men brought into the office a sheep's pluck, which he
held by the windpipe. As the man strode across the
wolf's back, the latter, smelling the meat then dangling
in front and concealed under his cloak, without a mo-
ment's hesitation dashed her nose upwards from be-
hind under the back part of his garment, voraciously
seized the gory morsel, and pulling it backwards be-
tween the owner's legs from the front, caused the
III.] ASSISTANT COMMISSAR V-GENERAL. 273
utmost disturbance and alarm. Although the floor
was immediately covered with blood, just as if the
wolf had seized the man, the Spaniard, anxious to
preserve his property, held on in despite by the
windpipe aforesaid, till the wolf, evincing uncom-
promising ferocity, in a few seconds tore all away.
I once unintentionally subjected a military friend
to serious apprehension, and constrained him to
exercise his tactics in self-defence, by inadvertently
failing to recommend the inoffensive habits of the
animal to his previous notice, on the occasion of his
taking up his quarters at my house for the night
on his route to the army. After dinner and oflice
hours were over, I caused a matress to be spread for
his accommodation on the floor of the dining room,
when, bidding him good night, and remaining occu-
pied in my own office barely sufficient time to allow
a tired traveller to compose himself to sleep, I went
to my own apartment. I had previously done as
I was wont, namely, slipped the wolf's collar and let
her loose, to allow the poor animal the range of the
empty rooms and passages of my large straggling
house till the morning, for the benefit of exercise.
By my friend's account in the morning, he was
grievously alarmed during the whole night by her
proceedings, thinking she had broke loose by acci-
dent and meditated an attack ; he was, he said, en-
tirely despoiled of his rest by his own precautionary
measures, and the sounds incessantly produced by
the enemy, as she not only trotted restlessly to and
iVo, but at least once in every two or three minutes
scratched and snuffed at his door.
Notwithstanding the good qualities above related,
in the end I was obliged to have this wolf destroyed;
N 3
274 MEMOIRS OF AN [CU.
for the change occasioned by the season of the year
wrought a fearful alteration in her temper, that mani-
fested itself in an unusual, unaccountable, and sudden
wildness. I naiTowly escaped being bitten, and a cat,
which she was accustomed to play with and fondle,
was particularly unfortunate ; for approaching to pay
its devoirs according to ordinary custom, in one mo-
ment the wolf seized poor puss in her jaws and
crunched every bone in the body. Fearing worse
consequences, I immediately had the culprit shot.
******
The organization of the native ox-cart transport,
whereby a number usually amounting to a couple
of hundred vehicles or thereabouts were sustained
effective at the station by dint of continually stimu-
lating the local authorities, through the aid and
vigilance of the chiefs of brigades or conductors,
formed at this time an important branch of my duty.
The time of one Portuguese clerk was entirely taken
up in writing letters to the several magistrates or
their deputies. I held at this time between fifty
and sixty in continual correspondence, whom it was
necessary to urge incessantly to furnish the quota
allotted to their several comarcas. These magis-
trates or persons in authority usually dispatched
from their homes the owners with their ox-carts
three or four together ; and on their arrival at the
station, the latter being told off till the numbers
amounted from a dozen to twenty, were brigaded
and placed in charge of a chief called the conduc-
tor, who accompanied them laden with biscuit and
forage to the army. Returning after their allotted
service they were paid in hard dollars, permitted to
return to their homes, and their places filled up by
III.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 275
fresh arrivals, until, according to regular routine, it
became their unhappy lot to be again drafted for
duty, and compelled by the presiding magistrate
to leave their unprotected dwellings on a similar
journey.
During the whole period of my peninsular service,
I never experienced a more painful effort of duty
than in this intercourse with the poorer inhabitants,
to turn a deaf ear to misery and supplications urged
in behalf of their cattle with heart-rending simplicity.
But the necessities of the army were imperative, and
the sinews of this unfortunate country strained till
near snapping asunder. How the poor people pre-
served their cattle alive in those hard times and on
those journeys, considering that with animals pre-
viously weakened and exhausted they were some-
times absent for a week or ten days together, taking
with them as fodder merely a i'ew bundles of Indian
corn straw, and this for sustenance along a tract,
long since as barren as the deserts of Arabia, now
that the days are past, and I reflect at leisure,
1 literally do not know. " Nao podem, senhor,
nao podem," " They are not able, sir, they are not
able," they would, alas, too frequently exclaim.
" Coitadinhas estao vaccinhas, senhor," " Poor little
creatures, sir, they are small cows;" and thus they
would piteously entreat till the tears ran down their
sunburnt cheeks.
It is the province alone of an eye witness to de-
scribe a country once unfortunately the seat of war;
awful realities that afford no comparison whatever
with ordinary grievances ; when over a desolated
territory the local government becomes inert and pa-
ralyzed, when the noble and the wealthy fly from their
276 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
domain, and when forward adventurei-s, possessed
of temporary sway, usurp and aim themselves with
legitimate power, and among all these evils the ac-
cumulated weight of suffering falls on the indigent,
the poor, patient, industrious hushandman, who
remains at his home not having whither else to flee,
and whose yoke of oxen are inevitably pressed, be-
cause, being his all, they are with himself to be found.
Every country, no matter where, is a paradise,
compared to the soil where thus, like young wheat
under the feet of vigorous wrestlers, the weak and
lowly, by the struggles of contending armies, are
crushed and rooted from tlie land.
In forming these general arrangements at tlu;
depot of Celorico, subservient to the exigencies of
the army in the field, even at the best of times, and
under the pressure of ordinary business, I sustained
Irequent impediments. Somelimes clerks, overcome
by excessive fatigue, went for the recovery of their
health to the rear ; on one occasion the station
became a point of incursion of the enemy ; and at
another time the garrison was assailed by a virulent
fever. Day after day, for several successive weeks,
great numbers of the troops fell victims to the e})i'
demic visitation ; corpses were hourly earned by my
door to a confined plot of ground a few hundred yards
(hstant for the purpose of interment ; and finally, so
man}' were there necessaiily buried within a small
space, that the wolves, allured to the spot at night
to scratch for the remains, descended continually
from the mountains. So soon as the aforesaid fact
was known to have taken place, immediate measures
were adopted to prevent its recurrence ; however,
I saw previously one place where the earth had
III.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENKRAL. '277
been newly torn up, and the foot of a dead body
completely gnawed off. Not only was the station
now afflicted by this malignant distemper, but the
quarters, inadequate to the numbers of sick, were full
to overflowing, and yet more invalids from the army
incessantly continued to arrive.
The other instance of embarrassment above alluded
to tooli place during the military operations between
the allied anny and Marshal Marmont, in the sum-
mer of 1812, on the occasion of the incursion made
by the latter on the frontier of Beira, whereby the
resident military authorities at Celorico were all
driven out of the town, and the commissariat and
ordnance magazines destroyed, to prevent the sup-
plies therein contained from falling into the hands of
the enemy. Precautionary measures were previously
adopted in anticipation of such a disaster ; combus-
tibles even deposited in the magazines, so disposed
that the whole contents might be ignited at a mo-
ment's notice, and preparations by all the resident
authoiities undertaken for departure. Vague and
foj: the most part gloomy reports meanwhile arrived
in the town by one channel or another, sufficient
to keep all persons concerned in a disagreeable un-
settled state of excitement. For my own part, little
as might be the credit due to the same, I not only
passed a full week in a state of irksome suspense,
but without a moment's relaxation from the usual
heavy press of business. The pains of preparation
were not in the sequel thrown away.
The sun was I think about three hours above the
horizon, on a beautiful summer's evening, when the
first indications of the disaster appeared on the
road to the town of Guarda towards the summit of
278 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
the elevated land four miles distant from Celorico,
whence a vast crowd of people seemed hastening
on their way towards tlie latter town, bearing no
appearance of troops, but rather of peasantry going
to a fair, continually replenished meanwhile in
immbers from the verge of the horizon, and dis-
tributing themselves to the right and left along the
open country till road and fields together exhibited
the unquestionable picture of troops retreating in
dismay and a terrified population. The Portuguese
militia, some thousands strong, commanded by
Colonel Trant, newly levied, raw troops, unused
to contact with the enemy, though none when
organized and well disciplined than the Portuguese
are braver, now on this particular occasion, on the
advance of Marshal Marmont absolutely ran like
sheep. The streets in the outskirts of Celorico
were speedily blocked up by flying soldiers, and
the whole town was in an uproar.
The object of every militia-man seemed only to
run without looking behind him, the main current of
the crowd pointing in the direction towards Lamego,
whither all directed their course in the utmost
disorder. Colonel Trant meanwhile and his staff
having arrived, and taken advantage of open space,
now every moment becoming more impeded by ob-
stacles of every description, did all that words and
energy could efiect to rally the men. Such, however,
was the panic that the most strenuous efforts were in
vain ; and thirty or forty rank and file were no sooner
formed than some continually took advantage of the
confusion and bolted away as fast, and generally
faster, than threats and entreaties prevailed on others
to fill up the vacancies.
ni,] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 271?
The military commandant together with the few
troops that composed the garrison, had some time
since departed on their way towards Coimbra; the
sick, at that time fortunately few, were even pre-
viously removed ; the present was a spectacle of
irretrievable confusion, no reinforcements could pos-
sibly arrive, and the enemy were apparently advanc-
ing rapidly towards Celorico, when I received orders
from my senior officer to set on fire the magazines.
Nothing therefore now remaining to perforai pre-
vious to departure than to put the said order in exe-
cution, I repaired accordingly to the chapel which
contained our supplies, and causing a flaming torch
to be applied to the straw and faggots wherewith
several puncheons of rum, purposely interlaced with
the less combustible articles, were surrounded ; the
vessels quickly burst by the heat, the contents
rolled onward in a liquid lake of flame, the roof of
the building and all within was seized by the devour-
ing element, the red sky, for now night had set
in, told the tale far and wide in the distance, and
Marmont read by its reflected glare the partial suc-
cess of his enterprize.
The ordnance stores, destroyed nearly at the
same time, were iti like manner deposited in another
chapel a mile distant on the Guarda road, of
which edifice, so severe was the explosion, that, as
I had afterwards an opportunity to observe, not one
stone literally was left resting on its fellow, nor other
remaining token of the devoted building, than a deep
quarry, whence even the heavy blocks that formed
the foundation were hurled far away. Roof, walls,
and contents of a solid structure of sound masonry,
all now were gone; a splendid ash-tree, growing con-
280 a» MKMOIKS OF AN [CH.
tiguous, stood shivered to atoms; a trunk, at least four
feet in diameter, riven and torn asunder, was now a
jagged lacerated stump nearly level with the ground,
and stones, some half a ton weight and more, lay
scattered at a distance on the earth, covering in
every direction the adjacent fields, like tender apple
blossoms in a c^ale.
IV.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL, "281
CHAPTER IV.
Put in charge of the Third Division of the Army — Report
myself to Sir Thomas Picton — Arduous Duties with the
Third Division — Absurd Anecdote related of a Commissary
by a Contemporary — Observations thereon — General Picton
— Battle of Vitoria.
Having resumed the duties of the station of Celorico
subsequent to the above related event, matters re-
mained tranquil on the frontier till the beginning of
May, 1813, when, on the projected advance of the
allied army through Spain, I received instructions to
proceed to Momento da Beira, to undertake the com-
missariat charge of the third division. With as
much dispatch as practicable I accordingly arrived
at my destination a few days previous to the ICth of
the same month, on wliich day the army broke from
its winter cantonments. Sir Thomas Picton having
arrived in the interval at Momento da Beira, from
leave of absence in England. The general, on re-
suming his command in Portugal, found the troops so
perfectly equipped for the intended movement in all
matters of military detail, that in point of fact he had
nothing to do but mount his charger and put himself
at their head.
On personally reporting myself to my new com-
mander, he received me with gracious but austere de-
meanour j however, many other matters besides the
282 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
affairs of my department then necessarily occupied
his attention. Slowly pacing to and fro on a solitary
spot in front of his quarters, he soliloquized as he
walked, and occasionally, as it were in accordance
with his thoughts, brought a hand-whip in gentle
contact with his boot by a round flourishing sweep
of his right arm as he swung round on his heel.
He merely enquired the present state of the supplies,
and bade me, with reference to the ensuing move-
ments, wait upon him every morning with a written
report stating the period of supply, and the entries,
issues, and remains of provisions in store.
At this time Picton's troops consisted of one
Portuguese and two English brigades, the two latter
each provided with supplies by an officer of the
British commissariat, the former by a Portuguese
commissary. A commissariat clerk also had charge of
the brigade of artillery, which for some time, indeed
till after the battle of Vitoria, accompanied the divi-
sion. About seven thousand rations of provisions,
besides forage for the animals, were required for our
daily supply on that day and during the subsequent
period when, the troops being provided with three
days' biscuit in their haversacks, the third division
broke fi*om cantonments on the 16th of May, as
aforesaid, and commenced that memorable series of
operations, for which Picton subsequentl}^ received
the special thanks of the British House of Commons,
and in relating part of the detail in letters to a friend
in England expressed himself in the following words.
" The rapidity of our movements, will, I conceive,
have given you all no small degree of astonishment
in England During these operations
IV.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 283
we marched thirty-four days without a halt, and for
several days through muddy roads up to our knees."
— Robinson's Life of Picton, Vol. II. p. 188.
Since the general reader is probably unacquainted
with the avocations of a commissariat officer in charge
of a portion of the army during its operations
in the field, it may not be considered iiTelevant here
to sketch briefly the outline of one average day's
work, such as may be fairly received as a specimen
of ordinary duty while the troops were performing
forced marches every day. A regimental officer,
provided he be not absent on picquet, or visiting
his guards, at the conclusion of the day's march," at
ten or eleven o'clock in the morning, having absolutely
nothing to do, proceeds accordingly to make him-
self comfortable ; subject, it is true, to a few of the
minor troubles of life, such as wet clothes with no
tidings of the expected baggage, or a hungry belly
with the certain knowledge that the tired ox, before
eaten at dinner, must limp six miles farther to be
killed. But the commissary, on the contrary, so soon
as the troops halt, has only that very moment deter-
mined the central point of action, whence his labours
begin. And this brings me accordingly to my starting
post. When I waited upon the General, according
to my previous instructions, every morning at three
o'clock, he was always dressed, booted, and spurred,
sometimes even ready to mount his horse, though
generally at his breakfast. Especially for the first
few days, these interviews were sufficiently brief,
and his questions relating wholly to the state of our
supplies, invariably delivered in an austere tone ;
however, he disregarded trifles, and spoke only
284 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
on material points of duty. On ray part, I was
invariably informed of the place, town, or village
whereon we were about to march, the head-quarters
of the division, and as nearly as possible the desti-
nations of the respective brigades. Returning now to
a tent, which I occupied invariably rather than a house,
for the convenience of locality, preferring moreover a
certain resting place to losing time in seeking a
quarter, I usually found a score or more persons of
various descriptions waiting ray arrival. In fact, the
said tent was no sooner pitched every day than
office hours began, and thus early every morning
those of the inhabitants not having presented their
accounts for settleraent the day before, were now in
attendance, and the clerks hard at work in their
behalf. In case it were impracticable to settle with
all the claimants, the remainder were necessarily sub-
ject to the inconvenience of completing in our com-
pany another day's march. The brigade commissaries
came hither also to know the General's movements
as related to their respective brigades, and for the
purpose of jointly concerting measures to obtain
supplies ; it being indispensable to determine pre-
viously the country to be traversed so as not to inter-
fere with and mutually impede each other.
The distribution of labour on these occasions was
farther divided among other subordinate persons, so
that no part of the country through which we passed
might remain unexplored. The other individuals in-
terested to obtain a share of each coming day's work
were the chief herdsman, entrusted with a drove of
from tvk'o to five hundred head of cattle attached to
the division, and the several capatzes or chiefs of
IV.] ASSISTANT COMMISSAnV-GENERAL. 285
brigade of the Spanish mule transport, of which our
number amounted to upwards of three hundred
effective mules permanently employed; and then
all parties, so soon as these matters were adjusted,
took leave for the day, and proceeded to their
several destinations. If perchance we met again
through accident in our morning's cruise, I shall not
readily forget the straightforward earnestness of
demeanour, the red hot and anxious, or blank and
jaded expression that invariably marked each coun-
tenance in accordance with the precise degree of
success attendant upon the morning's enterprise.
Without intermission, as day after day arrived the
troops continued to advance, while the mule trans-
port, our main stay and support throughout the whole
campaign, became gradually less effective from fatigue.
The brigades became jumbled together, some of the
animals lagged exhausted in the rear, and small num-
bers were unavoidably^ and continually detached to
work on different parts of our line.
Full often have I risen in a morning, even while
the clouds were pouring rain, and started on my way,
\\ ithout figui'e of speech or exaggeration, literally not
knowing the precise direction whither 1 was about
to go, to seek the identical wheat, that before the
sun set at night was afterwards converted into bread.
Yet, good fortune and the cordial co-operation of my
brother officers in the commissariat, always enabled
me in due time to furnish my seven thousand rations*,
and thus pay, as it were, to the whole division, at
* 10,500 lbs, of bread, or 7,000 lbs. of biscuit; 7,000 lbs. of
meat; 7,0CO pints of wine, or 2,333^ pints of spirits.
286 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
the close of each toilsome day, the debt that I owed.
Even after the wheat was found, a great deal remained
to be done; for instance, the banks of rivers to be
explored in seeking mills, mules appointed to work
between these and the division, a spot determined
on for a store to receive the flour when ground ; and
lastly, the municipal authorities to be summoned,
the ovens in the town or village put in requisition,
and women appointed to bake the flour into bread.
Since it frequently happened, that arriving by a
route circuitously swerving from the line of march,
I had no means of removing the wheat collected on
the way, till arrived at the division, different parties
of mules were accordingly thence dispatched in re-
quisite numbers, and thus set to work to travel to
and fro in various directions.
A chapel or other large building on these occasions
was now appropriated as a bread store, and a func-
tionary employed, pen or pencil in hand, to deliver
to the several women appointed by the alcalde to
bake the flour each in the oven of her own dwelling,
their several proportions. I generally found a dull
heavy man best answer the purpose of a vocation,
where strict attendance was required hour after hour
among these lively Spanish females, and there such
an individual would patiently exert his utmost mental
powers, in the exercise of suitable accuracy to note in
a small narrow book each and every singular delivery;
that is to say, so many pounds of flour to Maria, and
Josepha, and Joaquina, and so forth; and then again
with a cough and a per contra he would allow the
same fair individuals credit for the bread returned.
So that the division no sooner found its resting place
IV.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 287
for the day, than if the mills and mules worked well,
appearances of business were speedily rife in the village.
Some women would bring bags, others carried flour
away in their aprons ; at any rate, when sufficient
timehad elapsed, they returned again laden with bread,
wending their way one after another like emmets on
a lawn. Meanwhile the grave personage in the store,
uninterrupted by their coming or departure, with
saturnine aspect, and countenance unmoved by the
clatter of women's tongues, and the glitter of black
eyes, continued steadily to note his receipts and deli-
veries, till the heap of flour in one corner of the
building becoming exhausted, the corresponding
mountain of bread in the other corner arrived at its
proper dimensions ; and notice being then given to
the sergeants of the regiments that the full comple-
ment was ready, they attended for their daily supply,
and fetched it away.
To expedite the delivery of what had already
cost so much labour to obtain, commissariat trans-
port, as I have hinted before, was not unfrequently
applied ; and as the various bodies of men, form-
ing a pai't of the third division, lay extended on
a line stretching perhaps from right to left over
a distance not less than five miles, frequently the
evening closed before the patient mules appointed
to this particular service were laden and dispatched.
Office business was generally established in our
new temtory some time before the aforesaid arrange-
ments were perfectly set on foot ; for even when the
clerks remained working on the spot where we had
passed the night, a couple of hours after I had de-
parted in a morning, — even then, with very rare ex-
*i88 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
ccplions, they had previously arrived. Short was the
time however at present to be devoted to sedentaiy
occupations in my own tent, in fact I was unable
to remain more than a few minutes, to make such
hasty arrangements, as might be practicable in the
way of dispatching a load of business sufficient
fairly to claim the attention of as many hours ; but
the paramount object of the service being to col-
lect supplies, I mounting a fresh horse traversed
the adjacent country to seek what fortune might
throw in my way. While the army were moving, I
returned from these daily excursions to the camp
generally after nightfall ; I never threw myself in my
clothes to rest on my matress before midnight ; and
always at three o'clock in the morning, as I have
stated before, stood in the presence of the general.
The above is no more than a reasonable sketch of
the routine of daily duty of a commissariat officer in
the field, in charge of a division of the army ; such
I believe as was performed in common by all with
equal alacrity ; and appreciated I hope to a proper ex-
lent by the several commanders. Of the services of
the commissariat as a body, though a member of the
department, I will at any rate venture to assert, that
they contributed at least a full share towards the
successes of the campaign ; — nor can I allow to pass
uncontradicted in this place, an unnecessary and
un j ust anecdote introduced gratuitously in a late work,
which if it were true, is calculated to stigmatize that
department in his Majesty's service to which I have the
honour to belong, to arraign Sir Thomas Picton, by
the pen of his own biographer, and even to throw cen-
sure on the Duke of Wellington. Before I dispose of
IV.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 289
the same, I hope satisfactorily, but at aiij- rate
briefly ; I will first take leave to quote the passage
alluded to in the author's own words.
" The following anecdote has been reported of Sir
Thomas Picton : during the Peninsular war, when
provisions w'ere rather difficult to be obtained, a
young and dandified commissary had been instructed
to supply the rations for the third division at a given
place by a certain time, but by some mismanage-
ment this officer forgot to fulfil his engagement, and
the division was in consequence left to its own re-
sources, which were bad enough. A rejjort of the
neglect was brought to General Picton, and he forth-
with sent for the commissary. ' Well, Sir,' com-
menced Picton as he came in, ' where are the rations
for my division ?' This being the very question that
the commissary was not prepared to answer, he hesi-
tated for a short time, and then stammered out some
well-worn excuse. Picton was not, however, to be
cajoled by excuses while his men were kept with
empty stomachs ; so he led the alarmed commissary
to the door, and pointing said, ' Do you see that
tree ?' ' Yes, Sir, ' was the reply. ' Well now,' con-
tinued Picton, ' if you don't get the rations for my
division at the place mentioned by twelve o'clock to-
moiTow, I will hang you up there at half-past.' He
was then released, when he proceeded fortlnvith to
Lord Wellington and told him, with an appearance
of injured dignity, of General Picton's threat; but
the commissary was dreadfully alarmed \^hen his
lordship coolly remarked, ' Ah ! he said he'd hang
you, did he ?' * Yes, my lord.' * Well, if General Pic-
ton said so, I dare say he will keep his word. You'd
better get the rations up in time.' Further advice
VOL. II. o
290 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
was unnecessary, the rations were there to the mo-
ment." — Robinson's Memoirs of Picton, Yol. II. p. 390.
Considering that although dates are omitted, I
am in no shght degree identified with the times,
places, and persons cited in the above tale, it were
sufficient, perhaps, to meet it with a peremptoiy de-
nial ; but, since it is related with an air of plausible
accuracy, — descending even to minute particulars,
such as how the individual in question looked, what
he said, what he did, and absolutel}^ how he felt, —
calculated to impart to a silly fabrication undue
weight and cun-ency, I will not only say that the
story is altogether untrue, and that it is untrue I
most explicitly declare ; but I will go farther, and
even shew, at least to any person inclined to bestow
a moment's consideration, that it is really not cre-
dible. The biographer of Sir Thomas Picton, mean-
while, will no doubt be thankful that I thus take the
liberty courteously to expose the inaccuracy of the
aforesaid passage in his work, since I vindicate the
subject of his own memoir from the charge of con-
templating an act of felony, and rescue from equally
unjust imputation two other parties.
Now the commissary, even with cause of com-
plaint such as alleged, which however I deny, must
have preferred the same indispensably through his
own chief. Sir Robert Kennedy, and not direct to the
Duke of Wellington; the latter mode, stated to hav€
been selected, being unheard of in military routine,
and impossible to be put in execution. "NVlth regard to
Picton, who possessed unquestioned and unquestion-
able moral and physical^ courage, aided by a sound
vigorous understanding, the specimen of gasconade
wherewith he here stands identified by his biogra-
IV.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 291
pher, is totally foreign to his nature, and he could
not, subject though he was to frequent outbreakings
of passion, thus circumstantially have uttered a
threat, that he so notoriously dared not to perform.
And of the Duke of Wellington, it will be sufficient
lastly and simply to observe, that never did he, as has
here been described, truckle to the haughty violence
of Sir Thomas Picton, or thus with wanton flippancy
of tongue refuse to afford redress to an injured
officer under his command.
It is a pity that Sir Thomas Picton's biographer has
thus incautiously suffered himself to fall into a literary
error, merely by omitting to take the slight pains to
consult officers of the commissariat, who, on matters
of their own department, if applied to, would have
readily afforded him information.
Although my intercourse with Sir Thomas Picton
was confined to business and duty, I had fre-
quent opportunities of observing traits of his charac-
ter and temper. The latter, I fear, even his friends
must confess, though softened at times by a be-
nevolent disposition, was furious in the extreme.
He had a generous heart, — but a quick perception
of right and wrong actually blunted his sense of
mercy, through an anxious desire to administer
justice ; and in fact, it was ever his delight, during
the advance of the troops, not only to maintain
rigid order throughout his own division, but, with
the provost marshal at his heels, to extend the limits
of his authority. He was craving of power, as ap-
peared at a glance by his demeanour, and was no
less clearly observable in his voice and gesture.
By every impulse of his body as it were, he trampled
on space, and if only an arm or a leg were to
o 2
292 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
be stirred, it was performed in a circle. " Well, Sir,"
for even in the midst of his wrath, he would at times
suddenly change his key and condescend to be jocu-
lar," Well, Sir," he would perhaps exclaim sonorously
after three days' pouring rain to some half-drowned
diffident looking person, " I suppose. Sir, you begin
now to think we have rainy weather," and the chilly-
faced individual would, as in duty bound, smile re-
spectfully, and say, " Yes, Sir Thomas," " No, Sir
Thomas," or " Certainly, Sir Thomas," just as the
case might be. To this sort of communion Picton,
in his hours of relaxation, to say the least, was not
averse ; and he delighted, like a swan upon a canal,
to elevate his crest among minor fowl. In my humble
opinion he carried with him, whithersoever he went,
the impress of a person of arbitrary spirit, to whom
the associates of his youth had permitted paramount
ascendancy.
Over passion he occasionally exercised rigid con-
trol, even glancing with surprising rapidity to op-
posite extremes, and I have more than once wit-
nessed, within the lapse of a few seconds, a total
change from fury to good humour. An instance of this
peculiar trait of disposition occurred, I remember, at
one of those periods when under, as at times he was
wont to be, the galling influence of an atrabilarious
temperament, and when, like a famished lion, he was
angry and vexed with every thing about him. I was
one day struggling hard against appalling difficulties
in the way of procuring supplies, which were after
all only obtained, to use a common phrase, from
hand to mouth, when unfortunately I was driven to
the extremely disagreeable necessity of seeking an
interview with the General. The troops were at the
IV.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 293
same time on their daily march across the broad
fertile plains of Spain, where, on both sides as far
as the eye could reach, an ocean of wheat waved
its ripening ears in the wind, as the sweeping
breeze caused the vast expanse extending all round
in a continuous, unbroken circle, without the inter-
vention of a single tree or shrub in any direction,
even to the verge of the horizon, to undulate like the
waves of the sea. Although the present was an
irksome effort of duty, namely, to approach the
General in one of his furious moods, I nevertheless
pursued my course as fast as I could to the front,
sometimes threading my way slowly through the
troops, and then breaking off occasionally to ride
on one side, for an hundred yards together, through
the standing corn. The General, as usual, was
riding at the head of the column when, just as I
approached, progress, which had some time since
been impeded very considerably, now, by collision
with the baggage of another division, that pointedly
interfered with our line of march, was blocked up
altogether. Such an event of all others always
put Picton in a fury, and when, on the present
occasion, I first descried him, whether or not now
as usual attended by the provost marshal, he was
at any rate gratuitously exerting his utmost strength
in the performance of that officer's duty, and
vigorously inflicting chastisement on an offending
soldier. Whether the man disregarded his orders,
had uttered an insolent reply, or whatever was his
dereliction of duty, Picton lashed him violently
across head and shoulders, bringing his horse on his
haunches, wheeling round, flogging and cutting
without a moment's intermission, as the man mean-
•294 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
while dodged, held down his head, and defended
his face by his elbows. When sheer want of breath
at last obliged him to desist,! thought I had never seen
a fellow get a severer horsewhipping. So soon as I
saw the precise nature of the General's occupation,
I would readily have turned my horse round un-
perceived, and ridden to the rear ; however, the crowd
was too great to move one way or other. I therefore
necessarily remained where I was to the close of the
ceremony.
At last Picton having thrown himself, puffing and
blowing, back in his saddle, turned round suddenly,
and saw me sitting steadily on horseback awaiting
his pleasure. In an instant, notwithstanding that
his deportment had been for several previous days
invariably austere, and that at the present moment
he was pale and foaming at both corners of his
mouth from fury, the moral sense effected a sudden
and wonderful metamorphosis; insomuch that, in ac-
costing me, he assumed a tone and gesture actually
of overwrought civility, accompanied even with a
profuse display of low bows and smiles.
For my own part, as relates to the more eai'ly por-
tion of my intercourse with Picton, so long as he
restricted his tongue to decent language, which, sooth
to say, was not always the case, I was content to en-
dure the withering vengeance of his frown, and be
treated day after day with coldness and hauteur.
As I grew used to him I liked him better, for good
qualities occasionally broke forth through a rough ex-
terior, and I heard related of him, as regarded others,
instances of grateful recollection.
In one case, and in one alone, we fell into serious
collision; that of my interference in behalf of an
IV.] ASSISTANT COMMISSARY-GENERAL. 295
officer under my orders, who had just cause to com-
plain of his harsh treatment. It will be here suf-
ficient for my purpose merely to state that Picton
received, on this occasion, a remonstrance delivered
in a state of feelings much excited and unreservedly,
without making any reply ; as if it were his wish to
allow matters to remain as they then were. Pressed
still farther, he appointed an interview with the
injured party, and a place and hour for a hearing;
nevertheless, although the appointment was ac-
cordingly kept, he himself, and T have no doubt pre-
meditatedly, remained absent ; nor did he ever again
allude in the most remote terms to a circumstance
for which his silence served as an explanation. At
all events, I received it as the expression of his desire
that the affair should proceed no further. Thus in-
terpreting his silence, I thought it my duty to allow
the complaint to drop, and it dropped accordingly.
I have purposely, for obvious reasons, avoided
entering further into particulars, merely wishing to
shew imperfectly, in this place, though more will be
said on the subject hereafter, that Picton, watchful
over his ardent spirit, was ever anxious to redeem,
and even with the candour of an exalted mind,
atone for an error.
The first time I ever happened to see the General
in a truly benevolent humour, was on hearing of the
fall of Burgos. I had the good fortune to communi-
cate to him the intelligence, and thenceforward
fancied I perceived an almost total relaxation of that
feeling on his part which, so far as regarded myself,
amounted I believe to nothing more, after all, than
(since I had been appointed to the charge of his
division during his absence in England, without his
296 MEMOIRS OF AN [CH.
being consulted) a sort of natural antipathy, in-
cident to all the animal creation, towards a stranger.
On the day in question, after the arrival of the
division at the end of the day's march, Picton rode
to head quarters in order to obtain an interview with
the Duke of Wellington. The Duke was absent,
bringing afterwards home I believe with himself the
important intelligence ; it was not at any rate com-
municated to Picton, who returned in dudgeon.
Having heard the news at head quarters a little
after Picton's departure, I galloped hastily back —
at least for once in my life, anxious to overtake
him on the road. At this time, not having pro-
bably more than half a day, or a quarter of a day's
supply of bread to report, when I accosted him
riding slowly along with a lowering countenance,
which reflected even a still darker shadow by the
thoughts of a long weary ride undertaken back-
wards and forwards to no purpose, I felt quite
sure that now, to whatever question he might
choose to propose I had an answer to please
