Skip to main content

Full text of "Humorous verses"

See other formats


HUMOROUS    VERSES 


I  desire  to  thank  the  editor  and  proprietors  of 
the  Sydney  Bulletin  for  the  privilege  of  reprinting 
the  verses  in  this  volume. 

H.  L. 

Sydney,  March  17th,  1900. 


HUMOROUS  VERSES 


BY 

HENRY   LAWSON 

AUTHOR  OK  "  WHBN  THE  WORLD  WAS  WIDE  AND  OTHER  VERSES, 

"WHILE  THE  BILLY  BOILS,"  "ON  THE  TRACK  AND  OVER 

THE  SLIPRAILS,"  AND  "  POPULAR  VERSES  " 


'  Once  1  wrote  a  little  poem  which  I  thought  was  very  fine, 
Atid  I  showed  the  printer's  copy  to  a  critic  friend  of  mine.' 


SYDNEY 

ANGUS  AND  ROBERTSON 

LONDON  :    THE  AUSTRALIAN   BOOK  COMPANY 

38  WEST  SMITHFIELD,   E.G. 

1900 


fi 


SYDNEY  : 

WEBSDALE,  SHOOSMITH  AND  Co.,  PRINTERS, 
117  CLARENCK  STREET. 


CONTENTS. 

PAGE 

MY   LITERARY  FRIEND 

Once    I    wrote   a   little   poem   which   I 

thought  was  very  fine,        .         .         .       125 

MARY  CALLED  HIM   'MISTER' 

They'd   parted   but   a   year   before — she 

never  thought  he'd  come,      .         .         .       127 

REJECTED 

She  says  she's  very  sorry,  as  she  sees  you 

to  the  gate; 130 

O'HARA,  J.P. 

James  Patrick    O'Hara,    the   Justice   of 

Peace, 134 

BILL  AND  JIM   FALL  OUT 

Bill  and  Jim  are  mates  no  longer — they 

would  scorn  the  name  of  mate —  .        138 

THE  PAROO 

It  was  a  week  from  Christmas-time,         .       142 


vi.  CONTENTS 

PAGE 

THE  GREEN-HAND  ROUSEABOUT 

Call  this  hot  1     I  beg  your  pardon.     Hot ! 

— you  don't  know  what  it  means.         .       146 

THE  MAN   FROM   WATERLOO 

It  was  the  Man  from  Waterloo,       .         .       151 

SAINT  PETER 

Now,  I  think  there  is  a  likeness       .         ,        155 

THE  STRANGER'S  FRIEND 

The  strangest  things,   and  the  maddest 

things,  that  a  man  can  do  or  say,         .       158 

THE  GOD-FORGOTTEN  ELECTION 

Pat  M'Durmer  brought  the  tidings  to  the 

town  of  God-Forgotten :       .         .         .       162 

THE  BOSS'S  BOOTS 

The  shearers  squint  along  the  pens,  they 

squint  along  the  *  shoots ;'  .         .       168 

THE  CAPTAIN  OF  THE  PUSH 

As  the  night  was  falling  slowly  down  on 

city,  town  and  bush,  .         .      '    .       174 

BILLY'S   •  SQUARE  AFFAIR' 

Long  Bill,  the  captain  of  the  push,  was 

tired  of  his  estate,        .         .         .         .       181 


CONTENTS  vii. 

PAGE 

A  DERRY  ON  A  COVE 

'Twas  in  the  felon's  dock  he  stood,  his 

eyes  were  black  and  blue ;  .         .       185 

RISE  YE!    RISE  YE! 

Rise  ye !    rise  ye !    noble  toilers !    claim 

your  rights  with  fire  and  steel !  .       187 

THE  BALLAD  OF  MABEL  CLARE 

Ye  children  of  the  Land  of  Gold,  .       190 

CONSTABLE  MCCARTHY'S  INVESTIGATIONS 

Most  unpleasantly  adjacent  to  the  haunts 

of  lower  orders  .         .         .         .       196 

AT  THE  TUG-OF-WAR 

'Twas    in    a    tug-of-war    where    I — the 

guvnor's  hope  and  pride —  .         .       205 

HERE'S  LUCK! 

Old  Time  is  tramping  close  to-day — you 

hear  his  bluchers  fall,  .         .         .       208 

THE  MEN  WHO  COME  BEHIND 

There's  a  class  of  men  (and  women)  who 

are  always  on  their  guard —         .         .       211 


viii.  CONTENTS 

PAGE 

THE  DAYS  WHEN  WE   WENT  SWIMMING 

The  breezes  waved  the  silver  grass,  .       214 

THE  OLD  BARK  SCHOOL 

It  was  built  of  bark  and  poles,  and  the 

floor  was  full  of  holes  .         .         .       216 

TROUBLE  ON  THE  SELECTION 

You  lazy  boy,  you're  here  at  last,  .       220 

THE  PROFESSIONAL  WANDERER 

When  you've  knocked  about  the  country 

— been  away  from  home  for  years;        ,       222 

A  LITTLE  MISTAKE 

'Tis  a  yarn  I  heard  of  a  new-chum  c  trap  '       225 

A  STUDY  IN  THE   "NOOD" 

He  was  bare — we  don't  want  to  be  rude —       228 

A   WORD  TO  TEXAS  JACK 

Texas  Jack,  you  are  amusin'.      By  Lord 

Harry,  how  I  laughed  .         .         .        231 

THE  GROG-AN'-GRUMBLE  STEEPLECHASE 
'Twixt  the  coastline  and  the  border  lay 

the  town  of  Grog-an'-Grumble      .         .        237 

BUT   WHAT'S  THE  USE 

But  what's  the  use  of  writing  '  bush  ' —       242 


MY  LITERARY  FRIEND 

ONCE  I  wrote  a  little  poem  which  I  thought  was  very 

fine, 
And  I  showed  the  printer's  copy  to  a  critic  friend  of 

mine, 
First  he  praised  the  thing  a  little,  then  he  found  a 

little  fault ; 
*  The  ideas  are  good,'  he  muttered,  '  but  the  rhythm 

seems  to  halt.' 

So  I  straighten'd  up  the  rhythm  where  he  marked  it 

with  his  pen, 
And  I  copied  it  and  showed  it  to  my  clever  friend 

again. 
c  You've  improved  the  metre  greatly,  but  the  rhymes 

are  bad,'  he  said, 
As  he  read  it  slowly,  scratching  surplus  wisdom  from 

his  head. 

125 


126  MY  LITERARY  FRIEND 

So  I   worked  as  he  suggested  (I   believe   in   taking 

time), 
And    I    burnt     the     « midnight     taper '     while     I 

straightened  up  the  rhyme. 
'  It  is  better  now,'   he  muttered,   *  you  go  on    and 

you'll  succeed, 
1  It  has  got  a  ring  about  it — the  ideas  are  what  you 

need.' 

So  I  worked  for  hours   upon  it  (I  go  on   when    I 

commence), 
And  I  kept  in  view  the  rhythm  and  the  jingle  and 

the  sense, 
And  I  copied  it  and  took  it  to  my  solemn  friend  once 

more — 
It  reminded  him  of   something  he    had    somewhere 

read  before. 

Now  the  people  say  I'd  never  put  such  horrors  into 

print 

If  I  wasn't  too  conceited  to  accept  a  friendly  hint, 
And  my  dearest  friends  are  certain  that  I'd  profit  in 

the  end 
If  I'd  always  show  my  copy  to  a  literary  friend. 


MARY  CALLED  HIM  <  MISTER  ' 

THEY'D  parted  but  a  year  before — she  never  thought 

he'd  come, 
She  stammer'd,  blushed,  held  out  her  hand,  and  called 

him  '  Mister  Gum.' 
How  could  he  know  that  all  the  while  she  longed  to 

murmur  *  John.' 
He  called  her  « Miss  le  Brook,'  and  asked  how  she  was 

getting  on. 

They'd  parted  but  a  year  before  ;  they'd  loved  each 

other  well, 
But  he'd  been  to  the  city,  and  he  came  back  such  a 

swell. 
They  longed  to  meet  in  fond  embrace,  they  hungered 

for  a  kiss — 
But  Mary  called  him  *  Mister,'  and  the  idiot  called 

her  *  Miss.' 

127 


128  MARY  CALLED  HIM  <  MISTER  ' 

He  stood  and  lean'd  against  the  door — a  stupid  chap 

was  he — 
And,  when  she  asked  if  he'd  come  in  and  have  a  cup 

of  tea, 
He  looked  to  left,  he  looked  to  right,  and  then  he 

glanced  behind, 
And   slowly   doffed   his   cabbage-tree,    and   said    he 

*  didn't  mind.' 

She   made  a   shy   apology   because   the    meat    was 

tough, 
And  then  she  asked  if  he  was  sure  his  tea  was  sweet 

enough ; 
He  stirred  the  tea  and  sipped  it  twice,  and  answer'd 

'  plenty,  quite  ; ' 
And  cut  the  smallest  piece  of  beef  and^said  that  it 

was  c  right.' 

She  glanced  at  him  at  times  and  cough 'd  an  awkward 

little  cough ; 
He  stared  at  anything   but  her  and  said,  '  I  must 

be  off.' 
That  evening  he  went  riding  north — a  sad  and  lonely 

ride — 
She  locked  herself  inside   her  room,  and   there  sat 

down  and  cried. 


MARY  CALLED  HIM  •  MISTER  '  129 

They'd   parted   but   a   year  before,  they  loved  each 

other  well- 
But  she  was  such  a  country  girl  and  he  was  such   a 

swell ; 
They  longed  to  meet  in  fond  embrace,  they  hungered 

for  a  kiss — 
But  Mary  called  him  '  Mister '  and  the  idiot  called 

her  'Miss.' 


REJECTED 

SHE  says  she's  very  sorry,  as  she  sees  you  to  the  gate ; 
You  calmly  say  '  Good-bye  '  to  her  while  standing 

off  a  yard, 
Then  you  lift  your  hat  and  leave  her,  walking  mighty 

stiff  and  straight — 
But  you're  hit,  old  man — hit  hard. 

In  your  brain  the  words  are  burning  of  the  answer 

that  she  gave, 
As  you  turn  the  nearest  corner  and  you  stagger 

just  a  bit ; 
But  you  pull  yourself  together,    for  a  man's  strong 

heart  is  brave 
When  it's  hit,  old  man — hard  hit. 

130 


REJECTED  131 

You  might  try  to  drown  the  sorrow,  but  the  drink 

has  no  effect ; 
You  cannot  stand  the  barmaid  with  her  coarse  and 

vulgar  wit ; 
And  so  you  seek  the  street  again,  and  start  for  home 

direct, 
When  you're  hit,  old  man — hard  hit. 


You  see  the  face  of  her  you  lost,  the  pity  in  her 

smile — 
Ah  !  she  is  to  the  barmaid  as  is  snow  to  chimney 

grit; 
You're  a  better  man  and  nobler  in  your  sorrow,  for  a 

while, 
When  you're  hit,  old  man — hard  hit. 


And,  arriving  at  your  lodgings,  with  a  face  of  deepest 

gloom, 
You  shun  the  other  boarders  and  your  manly  brow 

you  knit ; 
You  take  a   light  and  go  upstairs  directly  to  your 

room — 
But  the  whole  house  knows  you're  hit. 


132  REJECTED 

You  clutch  the  scarf  and  collar,  and  you  tear  them 

from  your  throat, 

You  rip  your  waistcoat  open  like  a  fellow  in  a  fit ; 
And  you  fling  them  in  a   corner  with  the  made-to- 

order  coat, 
When  you're  hit,  old  man — hard  hit. 

You  throw  yourself,  despairing,  on  your  narrow  little 

bed, 
Or  pace  the  room  till  someone   starts    with  '  Skit  ! 

cat! -skit!' 

And  then  lie  blindly  staring  at  the  plaster  overhead — 
You  are  hit,  old  man — hard  hit. 

It's   doubtful    whether    vanity    or   love  has  suffered 

worst, 

So  neatly  in  our  nature  are  those  feelings  interknit, 
Your  heart  keeps  swelling  up  so  bad,  you  wish  that 

it  would  burst, 
When  you're  hit,  old  man — hard  hit. 

You  think  and  think,  and  think,  and  think,  till  you 

go  mad  almost ; 

Across  your  sight  the  spectres  of   the  bygone  seem 
to  flit ; 


REJECTED  133 

The  very  girl  herself  seems  dead,  and  comes  back  as 

a  ghost, 
When  you're  hit,  like  this — hard  hit. 

You  know  that  it's  all  over— you're  an  older  man  by 

years, 
In  the  future  not  a  twinkle,  in  your  black  sky  not 

a  split. 
Ah !  you'll  think  it  well  that  women  have  the  privilege 

of  tears, 
When  you're  hit,  old  man — hard  hit. 

You  long  and  hope  for  nothing  but  the  rest  that 

sleep  can  bring, 
And  you  find  that  in  the  morning  things   have 

brightened  up  a  bit ; 
But  you're  dull  for  many  evenings,  with  a  cracked 

heart  in  a  sling, 
When  you're  hit,  old  man — hard  hit. 


O'HARA,  J.P. 

JAMES  PATRICK  O'HARA,  the  Justice  of  Peace, 
He  bossed  the  P.M.  and  he  bossed  the  police  ; 
A  parent,  a  deacon,  a  landlord  was  he — 
A  townsman  of  weight  was  O'Hara,  J.P. 

He  gave  out  the  prizes,  foundation-stones  laid. 
He  shone  when  the  Governor's  visit  was  paid  ; 
And  twice  re-elected  as  Mayor  was  he — 
The  flies  couldn't  roost  on  O'Hara,  J.P, 

Now  Sandy  M'Fly,  of  the  Axe-and-t he-Saw, 
Was  charged  with  a  breach  of  the  licensing  law 
He  sold  after  hours  whilst  talking  too  free 
On  matters  concerning  O'Hara,  J.P. 

134 


O'HARA,  J.P.  135 

And  each  contradicted  the  next  witness  flat, 
Concerning  back  parlours,  side-doors,  and  all  that; 
'Twas  very  conflicting,  as  all  must  agree — 
'  Ye'd  betther  take  care  !'  said  O'Hara,  J.P. 

But  «  Baby,'  the  barmaid,  her  evidence  gave — 
A  poor,  timid  darling  who  tried  to  be  brave — 
'  Now,  don't  be  afraid — if  it's  frightened  ye  be — 
'  Speak  out,  my  good  girl,'  said  O'Hara,  J.P. 

Her  hair  was  so  golden,  her  eyes  were  so  blue, 
Her  face  was  so  fair  and  her  words  seemed  so  true — 
So  green  in  the  ways  of  sweet  wcmen  was  he 
That  she  jolted  the  heart  of  O'Hara,  J  P. 

He  turned  to  the  other  grave  Justice  of  Peace, 
And  whispered,  *  You  can't  always  trust  the  police  ; 
'  I'll  visit  the  premises  during  the  day, 
*  And  see  for  myself,'  said  O'Hara,  Jay  Pay. 

(Case  postponed.) 

'Twas  early  next  morning,  or  late  the  same  night — 
'  'Twas  early  next  morning'  we  think  would  be  right — 
And  sounds  that  betokened  a  breach  of  the  law 
Escaped  through  the  cracks  of  the  Axe-and-the-Saw. 


136  O'HARA,  J.P. 

And  Constable  Dogherty,  out  in  the  street, 
Met  Constable  Clancy  a  bit  off  his  beat ; 
He  took  him  with  finger  and  thumb  by  the  ear, 
And  led  him  around  to  a  lane  in  the  rear. 

He  pointed  a  blind  where  strange  shadows  were  seen — 
Wild  pantomime  hinting  of  revels  within — 
*  We'll  drop  on  M'Fly,  if  you'll  listen  to  me, 
1  And  prove  we  are  right  to  O'Hara,  J.P.' 

But  Clancy  was  up  to  the  lay  of  the  land, 

He  cautiously  shaded  his  mouth  with  his  hand — 

'  Wisht,  man  !     Howld  yer  whisht !     or  it's  ruined 

we'll  be, 
'It's  the  justice  himself— it's  O'Hara,  J.P  ' 

They  hish'd  and  they  whishted,  and  turned  themselves 

round, 

And  got  themselves  off  like  two  cats  on  wet  ground  ; 
Agreeing  to  be,  on  their  honour  as  men, 
A  deaf-dumb-and-blind  institution  just  then. 

Inside  on  a  sofa,  two  barmaids  between, 
With  one  on  his  knee  was  a  gentleman  seen  ; 
And  any  chance  eye  at  the  keyhole  could  see 
In  less  than  a  wink  'twas  O'Hara,  J.P. 


O'HARA,  J.P.  137 

The  first  in  the  chorus  of  songs  that  were  sung, 

The  loudest   that   laughed   at   the    jokes   that   were 

sprung, 

The  guest  of  the  evening,  the  soul  of  the  spree — 
The  daddy  of  all  was  O'Hara,  J.P. 

And  hard-cases  chuckled,  and  hard-cases  said 
That  Baby  and  Alice  conveyed  him  to  bed — 
In  subsequent  storms  it  was  painful  to  see 
Those  hard-cases  side  with  the  sinful  J.P. 

Next  day,  in  the  court,  when  the  case  came  in  sight, 
O'Hara  declared  he  was  satisfied  quite ; 
The  case  was  dismissed — it  was  destined  to  be 
The  final  ukase  of  O'Hara,  J.P. 

The  law  and  religion  came  down  on  him  first — 
The  Christian  was  hard  but  his  wife  was  the  worst ! 
Half  ruined  and  half  driven  crazy  was  he — 
It  made  an  old  man  of  O'Hara,  J.P. 

Now,  young  men  who  come  from  the  bush,  do  you 

hear? 

Who  know  not  the  power  of  barmaids  and  beer  — 
Don't  see  for  yourself !  from  temptation  steer  free, 
Remember  the  fall  of  O'Hara,  J.P. 


BILL   AND   JIM   FALL   OUT 

BILL  and  Jim  are  mates  no  longer — they  would  scorn 
the  name  of  mate — 

Those  two  bushrnen  hate  each  other  with  a  soul-con- 
suming hate ; 

Yet  erstwhile  they  were  as  brothers  should  be  (tho' 
they  never  will)  : 

Ne'er  were  mates  to  one  another  half  so  true  as  Jim 
and  Bill. 

Bill  was  one  of  those  who  have  to  argue  every  day  or 

die — 
Though,  of  course,  he  swore  'twas  Jim  who  always 

itched  to  argufy. 
They   would,  on  most  abstract   subjects,    contradict 

each  other  flat 
And  at  times  in  lurid  language — they  were  mates  in 

spite  of  that. 

138 


BILL  AND  JIM  FALL  OUT  139 

Bill  believed  the  Bible  story  re  the  origin  of  him — 
He  was  sober,  he  was  steady,  he  was  orthodox  ;  while 

Jim, 
Who,  we  grieve  to  state,   was  always  getting  into 

drunken  scrapes, 
Held  that  man  degenerated  from  degenerated  apes. 

Bill    was   British   to   the    backbone,    he   was    loyal 

through  and  through  ; 
Jim  declared  that  Blucher's  Prussians  won  the  fight 

at  Waterloo, 
And  he  hoped  the  coloured  races  would  in  time  wipe 

out  the  white — 
And  it  rather  strained  their  mateship,  but  it  didn't 

burst  it  quite. 

They    battled    round    in    Maoriland — they   saw   it 

through  and  through — 
And  argued  on  the  rata,    what  it  was  and  how  it 

grew  ; 
Bill  believed  the  vine  grew  downward,  Jim  declared 

that  it  grew  up — 
Yet  they  always  shared  their  fortunes  to  the  final 

bite  and  sup. 


140  BILL  AND  JIM  FALL  OUT 

Night  after  night  they  argued  how  the  kangaroo  was 

born, 
And  each  one  held   the   other's   stupid    theories   in 

scorn, 
Bill  believed  it  was  '  born  inside,'  Jim  declared  it  was 

born  out — 
Each  as  to  his  own  opinions  never  had  the  slightest 

doubt. 

They  left  the  earth  to  argue  and  they  went  among  the 

stars, 
Re  conditions  atmospheric,  Bill  believed  '  the  hair  of 

Mars 
1  Was  too  thin  for  human  bein's  to  exist  in  mortal 

states.' 
Jim  declared  it  was  too  thick,  if  anything — yet  they 

were  mates 

Bill  for  Freetrade — Jim,    Protection — argued   as   to 

which  was  best 
For  the  welfare  of  the  workers — and  their  mateship 

stood  the  test ! 
They  argued  over  what  they  meant  and  didn't  mean 

at  all, 
And  what  they  said  and  didn't — and  were  mates  in 

spite  of  all. 


BILL  AND  JIM  FALL  OUT  141 

Till  one  night  the  two  together  tried  to  light  a  fire  in 

camp, 
When  they  had  a  leaky  billy  and  the  wood  was  scarce 

and  damp. 
And  .    .    .  No  matter  :    let  the  moral  be  distinctly 

understood  : 
One  alone  should  tend  the  fire,  while  the  other  brings 

the  wood. 


THE   PAROO 

IT  was  a  week  from  Christmas-time, 

As  near  as  I  remember, 
And  half  a  year  since  in  the  rear 

We'd  left  the  Darling  Timber. 
The  track  was  hot  and  more  than  drear 

The  long  day  seemed  for  ever  ; 
But  now  we  knew  that  we  were  near 

Our  camp — the  Paroo  River. 

With  blighted  eyes  and  blistered  feet, 

With  stomachs  out  of  order, 
Half  mad  with  flies  and  dust  and  heat 

We'd  crossed  the  Queensland  Border. 
I  longed  to  hear  a  stream  go  by 

And  see  the  circles  quiver  ; 
T  longed  to  lay  me  down  and  die 

That  night  on  Paroo  River. 

142 


THE  PAROO  143 

Tis  said  the  land  out  West  is  grand — 

I  do  not  care  who  says  it — 
It  isn't  even  decent  scrub, 

Nor  yet  an  honest  desert ; 
It's  plagued  with  flies,  and  broiling  hot, 

A  curse  is  on  it  ever  ; 
I  really  think  that  God  forgot 

The  country  round  that  river. 

My  mate — a  native  of  the  land — 

In  fiery  speech  and  vulgar, 
Condemned  the  flies  and  cursed  the  sand, 

And  doubly  damned  the  mulga. 
He  peered  ahead,  he  peered  about — 

A  bushman  he,  and  clever — 
1  Now  mind  you  keep  a  sharp  look-out ; 

*  We  must  be  near  the  river.' 

The  « nose-bags  '  heavy  on  each  chest 

(God  bless  one  kindly  squatter  !) 
With  grateful  weight  our  hearts  they  pressed — • 

We  only  wanted  water. 
The  sun  was  setting  (in  the  west) 

In  colour  like  a  liver — 
We'd  fondly  hoped  to  camp  and  rest 

That  night  on  Paroo  River. 


144  THE  PAROO 

A  cloud  was  on  my  mate's  broad  brow, 
And  once  I  heard  him  mutter  : 

*  I'd  like  to  see  the  Darling  now, 

'  God  bless  the  Grand  Old  Gutter  ! ' 
And  now  and  then  he  stopped  and  said 

In  tones  that  made  me  shiver — 
4  It  cannot  well  be  on  ahead, 

4 1  think  we've  crossed  the  river? 

But  soon  we  saw  a  strip  of  ground 
That  crossed  the  track  we  followed — 

No  barer  than  the  surface  round, 
But  just  a  little  hollowed. 

His  brows  assumed  a  thoughtful  frown — 
This  speech  he  did  deliver  : 

*  I  wonder  if  we'd  best  go  down 

*  Or  up  the  blessed  river  1 ' 

*  But  where,'  said  I,  '  's  the  blooming  stream  ? 

And  he  replied,  '  We're  at  it ! ' 
I  stood  awhile,  as  in  a  dream, 

4  Great  Scott ! '  I  cried,  4  is  that  it  ? 
1  Why,  that  is  some  old  bridle-track  ! ' 

He  chuckled,  '  Well,  I  never  ! 
1  It's  nearly  time  you  came  out-back — 

4  This  is  the  Paroo  River  ! ' 


THE  PAROO  145 

No  place  to  camp — no  spot  of  damp — 

No  moisture  to  be  seen  there ; 
If  e'er  there  was,  it  left  no  sign 

That  it  had  ever  been  there. 
But  ere  the  morn,  with  heart  and  soul 

We'd  cause  to  thank  the  Giver — 
We  found  a  muddy  water- hole 

Some  ten  miles  down  the  river. 


THE  GREEN-HAND  ROUSEABOUT 

CALL   this   hot  1     I   beg   your   pardon.     Hot ! — you 

don't  know  what  it  means. 
(What's  that,  waiter  1  lamb  or  mutton!    Thank  you — 

mine  is  beef  and  greens. 
Bread  and  butter  while  I'm  waiting.     Milk  ?     Oh, 

yes — a  bucketful.) 
I'm  just  in  from  west  the  Darling,   '  picking-up  '  and 

'rolling  wool.' 

Mutton  stewed  or  chops  for  breakfast,  dry  and  taste- 
less, boiled  in  fat ; 

Bread  or  brownie,  tea  or  coffee — two  hours'  graft  in 
front  of  that ; 

Legs  of  mutton  boiled  for  dinner — mutton  greasy- 
warm  for  tea — 

Mutton  curried  (gave  my  order,  beef  and  plenty 
greens  for  me.) 

146 


THE  GREEN-HAND  ROUSEABOUT     147 

Breakfast,  curried  rice  and  mutton  till  your  innards 

sacrifice, 
And  you  sicken  at  the  colour  and  the  smell  of  curried 

rice. 
All  day  long  with  living  mutton — bits  and  belly- wool 

and  fleece ; 
Blinded  by  the  yoke  of  wool,   and  shirt  and  trousers 

stiff  with  grease, 
Till  you  long  for  sight  of  verdure,  cabbage-plots  and 

water  clear, 
And  you  crave  for  beef  and  butter  as  a  boozer  craves 

for  beer. 

Dusty  patch  in  baking  mulga — glaring  iron  hut  and 

shed — 
Feel  and  smell  of  rain  forgotten — water  scarce  and 

feed-grass  dead. 
Hot  and  suffocating  sunrise— all-pervading  sheep-yard 

smell — 
Stiff  and  aching  green-hand  stretches — '  Slushy'  rings 

the  bullock-bell — 
Pint  of  tea   and    hunk   of  brownie — sinners    string 

towards  the  shed — 
Great,   black,    greasy   crows   round    carcass — screen 

behind  of  dust-cloud  red. 


148     THE  GREEN-HAND  ROUSEABOUT 

Engine   whistles.     «  Go   it,    tigers  ! '  and   the  agony 

begins, 
Picking  up  for  seven  devils  out  of  Hades — for  my 

sins  j 
Picking  up  for  seven  devils,    seven   demons  out  of 

Hell! 
Sell  their  souls  to  get  the  bell-sheep — half  a-dozen 

Christs  they'd  sell ! 
Day  grows  hot  as  where  they  come  from — too  damned 

hot  for  men  or  brutes ; 
Roof  of  corrugated  iron,  six-foot-six  above  the  shoots  ! 

Whiz  and  rattle  and  vibration,  like  an  endless  chain 

of  trams ; 
Blasphemy   of  five-and-forty  —  prickly   heat  —  and 

stink  of  rams ! 
'  Barcoo '    leaves   his   pen-door   open   and  the  sheep 

come  bucking  out ; 
When  the  rouser  goes  to  pen  them,  *  Barcoo '  blasts 

the  rouseabout. 
Injury    with    insult    added — trial    of    our    cursing 

powers — 
Cursed  and  cursing  back  enough  to  damn  a  dozen 

worlds  like  ours. 


THE  GREEN-HAND  ROUSEABOUT  149 

'  Take  my  combs   down   to  the   grinder,  will  yer  1 ' 
1  Seen  my  cattle-pup  ? ' 

*  There's  a  sheep  fell  down  in  my  shoot— just  jump 

down  and  pick  it  up.' 

*  Give  the  office  when  the  boss  comes.'     *  Catch  that 

gory  sheep,  old  man.' 
1  Count  the  sheep  in  my  pen,  will  yer  ? '     '  Fetch  my 

combs  back  when  yer  can.' 
1  When  yer  get  a  chance,  old  feller,  will  yer  pop  down 

to  the  hut  ? 
'  Fetch  my  pipe — the  cook  '11  show  yer — and  I'll  let 

yer  have  a  cut.' 

Shearer  yells  for  tar  and  needle.    Ringer's  roaring  like 

a  bull : 
1  Wool  away,  you  (son  of  angels).     Where  the  hell's 

the  (foundling)  WOOL  ! ! ' 

Pound    a   week    and    station    prices — mustn't   kick 

against  the  pricks — 
Seven  weeks  of  lurid  mateship— ruined  soul  and  four 

pounds  six. 


150  THE  GREEN-HAND  ROQSEABOUT 

What's  that  ?  waiter  1    me  ?   stuffed  mutton  !      Look 

here,  waiter,  to  be  brief, 
I  said  beef  !  you  blood-stained  villain!     Beef — moo- 

cow-Roast  Bullock— BEEF ! 


THE   MAN   FROM   WATERLOO 
(With  kind  regards  to   "  Banjo.") 

IT  was  the  Man  from  Waterloo, 

When  work  in  town  was  slack, 
Who  took  the  track  as  bushmen  do, 

And  humped  his  swag  out  back. 
He  tramped  for  months  without  a  bob, 

For  most  the  sheds  were  full, 
Until  at  last  he  got  a  job 

At  picking  up  the  wool. 
He  found  the  work  was  rather  rough, 

But  swore  to  see  it  through, 
For  he  was  made  of  sterling  stuff — 

The  Man  from  Waterloo. 

The  first  remark  was  like  a  stab 

That  fell  his  ear  upon, 
'Twas — '  There's  another  something  scab 

'  The  boss  has  taken  on  ! ' 

151 


152  THE  MAN  FROM  WATERLOO 

They  couldn't  let  the  towny  be — 
They  sneered  like  anything ; 

They'd  mock  him  when  he'd  sound  the  *  g 
In  words  that  end  in  '  ing.' 

There  came  a  man  from  Ironbark, 

And  at  the  shed  he  shore ; 
He  scoffed  his  victuals  like  a  shark, 

And  like  a  fiend  he  swore. 
He'd  shorn  his  flowing  beard  that  day — 

He  found  it  hard  to  reap — 
Because  'twas  hot  and  in  the  way 

While  he  was  shearing  sheep. 
His  loaded  fork  in  grimy  holt 

Was  poised,  his  jaws  moved  fast, 
Impatient  till  his  throat  could  bolt 

The  mouthful  taken  last. 
He  couldn't  stand  a  something  toff, 

Much  less  a  jackaroo ; 
And  swore  to  take  the  trimmings  off 

The  Man  from  Waterloo. 

The  towny  saw  he  must  be  up 

Or  else  be  underneath, 
And  so  one  day,  before  them  all, 

He  dared  to  clean  his  teeth. 


THE  MAN  FROM  WATERLOO  153 

The  men  came  running  from  the  shed, 

And  shouted,  '  Here's  a  lark  ! ' 
1  It's  gone  to  clean  its  tooties  ! '  said 

The  man  from  Ironbark. 
His  feeble  joke  was  much  enjoyed  ; 

He  sneered  as  bullies  do, 
And  with  a  scrubbing-brush  he  guyed 

The  Man  from  Waterloo. 

The  Jackaroo  made  no  remark 

But  peeled  and  waded  in, 
And  soon  the  Man  from  Ironbark 

Had  three  teeth  less  to  grin  ! 
And  when  they  knew  that  he  could  fight 

They  swore  to  see  him  through, 
Because  they  saw  that  he  was  right — 

The  Man  from  Waterloo. 

Now  in  a  shop  in  Sydney,  near 

The  Bottle  on  the  Shelf, 
The  tale  is  told — with  trimmings — by 

The  Jackaroo  himself. 
*  They  made  my  life  a  hell,'  he  said  ; 

'  They  wouldn't  let  me  be ; 
{ They  set  the  bully  of  the  shed 

*  To  take  it  out  of  me. 


154  THE  MAN  FROM  WATERLOO 

*  The  dirt  was  on  him  like  a  sheath, 

'  He  seldom  washed  his  phiz ; 

*  He  sneered  because  I  cleaned  my  teeth 

*  I  guess  I  dusted  his  ! 

*  I  treated  them  as  they  deserved— 

'  I  signed  on  one  or  two  ! 
.    '  They  won't  forget  me  soon,'  observed 
The  Man  from  Waterloo. 


SAINT   PETER 

Now,  I  think  there  is  a,  likeness 

'Twixt  St.  Peter's  life  and  mine, 
For  he  did  a  lot  of  trampin' 

Long  ago  in  Palestine. 
He  was  '  union  '  when  the  workers 

First  began  to  organise, 
And — I'm  glad  that  old  St.  Peter 

Keeps  the  gate  of  Paradise. 

When  the  ancient  agitator 

And  his  brothers  carried  swags, 
I've  no  doubt  he  very  often 

Tramped  with  empty  tucker-bags  ; 
And  I'm  glad  he's  Heaven's  picket, 

For  I  hate  explainin'  things, 
And  he'll  think  a  union  ticket 

Just  as  good  as  Whitely  King's. 

155 


156  SAINT  PETER 

He  denied  the  Saviour's  union, 

Which  was  weak  of  him,  no  doubt ; 
But  perhaps  his  feet  was  blistered 

And  his  boots  had  given  out. 
And  the  bitter  storm  was  rushin' 

On  the  bark  and  on  the  slabs, 
And  a  cheerful  fire  was  blazin', 

And  the  hut  was  full  of  '  scabs.' 

When  I  reach  the  great  head-station — 

Which  is  somewhere  '  off  the  track  '- 
I  won't  want  to  talk  with  angels 

Who  have  never  been  out  back  ; 
They  might  bother  me  with  offers 

Of  a  banjo — meanin'  well — 
And  a  pair  of  wings  to  fly  with, 

When  I  only  want  a  spell. 

I'll  just  ask  for  old  St.  Peter, 

And  I  think,  when  he  appears, 
I  will  only  have  to  tell  him 

That  I  carried  swag  for  years. 
'  I've  been  on  the  track,'  I'll  tell  him, 

'  An'  I  done  the  best  I  could,' 
And  he'll  understand  me  better 

Than  the  other  angels  would. 


SAINT  PETER  157 

He  won't  try  to  get  a  chorus 

Out  of  lungs  that's  worn  to  rags, 
Or  to  graft  the  wings  on  shoulders 

That  is  stiff  with  humpin'  swags. 
But  111  rest  about  the  station 

Where  the  work-bell  never  rings, 
Till  they  blow  the  final  trumpet 

And  the  Great  Judge  sees  to  things. 


THE  STRANGER'S  FRIEND 

THE  strangest  things,  and  the  maddest  things,  that  a 

man  can  do  or  say, 
To  the  chaps  and  fellers  and   coves  Out   Back  are 

matters  of  every  day  ; 
Maybe  on  account  of  the  lives  they  lead,  or  the  life 

that  their  hearts  discard — 
But  never  a  fool  can  be  too   mad  or  a   c  hard  case ' 

be  too  hard. 

I  met  him  in  Bourke  in  the  Union  days — with  which 

we  have  nought  to  do 
(Their  creed  was  narrow,  their  methods  crude,  but 

they  stuck  to  '  the  cause '  like  glue) 
He  came  into  town  from  the  Lost  Soul   Run  for  his 

grim  half-yearly  '  bend,' 
And   because   of   a   curious  hobby  he  had,   he  was 

known  as  *  The  Stranger's  Friend.' 

15S 


THE  STRANGER'S  FRIEND  159 

It  is  true  to  the  region  of  adjectives  when  I  say  that 

the  spree  was  'grim,' 
For  to  go  on  the  spree  was  a  sacred  rite,  or  a  heathen 

rite,  to  him, 
To  shout  for  the  travellers  passing  through  to  the 

land  where  the  lost  soul  bakes — 
Till  they  all  seemed  devils  of  different  breeds,  and  his 

pockets  were  filled  with  snakes. 

In   the  joyful   mood,  in   the  solemn  mood — in    his 

cynical  stages  too — 
In  the  maudlin  stage,  in  the  fighting  stage,  in  the 

sta*ge  when  all  was  blue — 
From  the  joyful  hour  when  his  spree   commenced, 

right  through  to  the  awful  end, 
He  never  lost  grip  of  his  *  fixed  idee  '  that  he  was  the 

Stranger's  Friend. 

*  The  feller  as  knows,  he  can  battle  around  for  his 

bloomin'  self,'  he'd  say — 
'  I  don't  give  a  curse  for  the  "  blanks  "  I  know  -send 

the  hard-up  bloke  this  way ; 
'Send  the  stranger  round,  and  I'll  see  him  through,' 

and,  e'en  as  the  bushman  spoke, 
The  chaps  and  fellers  would  tip  the  wink  to  a  casual, 

'  hard-up  bloke.' 


160  THE  STRANGER'S  FRIEND 

And  it  wasn't  only  a  bushinan's   *  bluff '  to  the  fame 

of  the  Friend  they  scored, 
For  he'd  shout  the  stranger  a  suit  of  clothes,  and  he'd 

pay  for  the  stranger's  board — 
The  worst  of  it  was  that  he'd  skite  all  night  on  the 

edge  of  the  stranger's  bunk, 
And  never  got  helplessly  drunk  himself  till  he'd  got 

the  stranger  drunk. 

And  the  chaps  and  the  fellers   would  speculate — by 

way  of  a  ghastly  joke — 
As  to  who'd  be  caught  by  the  'jim  jams'  first —the 

Friend  or  the  hard-up  bloke  1 
And  the  'Joker'  would  say  that  there  wasn't  a  doubt 

as  to  who'd  be  damned  in  the  end, 
When  the  Devil  got  hold  of  a  hard-up  bloke  in  the 

shape  of  the  Stranger's  Friend. 

It  mattered  not  to  the  Stranger's  Friend  what  the 

rest  might  say  or  think, 
He  always  held  that  the  hard-up  state  was  due  to  the 

curse  of  drink, 
To  the  evils  of  cards,  and  of  company  :  '  But  a  young 

cove's  built  that  way, 
'And  I  was  a  bloomin'  fool  meself  when  I  started  out,' 

he'd  say. 


THE  STRANGER'S  FRIEND  161 

At  the  end  of  the  spree,  in  clean  white  'moles,'  clean- 
shaven, and  cool  as  ice, 

He'd  give  the  stranger  a  '  bob '  or  two,  and  some 
straight  Out  Back  advice  ; 

Then  he'd  tramp  away  for  the  Lost  Soul  Run,  where 
the  hot  dust  rose  like  smoke, 

Having  done  his  duty  to  all  mankind,  for  he'd  '  stuck 
to  a  hard -up  bloke.' 

They'll  say  'tis  a   '  song  of  a  sot,'  perhaps,   but  the 

Song  of  a  Sot  is  true. 
I  have   '  battled '  myself,  and  you  know,  you  chaps, 

what  a  man  in  the  bush  goes  through  ; 
Let  us  hope  when  the  last  of  his  sprees  is  past,  and 

his  cheques  and  his  strength  are  done, 
That,   amongst   the   sober   and    thrifty    mates,    the 

Stranger's  Friend  has  one. 


THE   GOD-FORGOTTEN   ELECTION 

PAT  M'DuRMEB  brought  the  tidings  to  the  town  of 

God-Forgotten  : 

'There  are  lively  days  before  ye — commin  Parly- 
mint's  dissolved  ! ' 
And  the  boys  were  all  excited,    for   the    State,    of 

course,  was  '  rotten,' 
And,  in  subsequent  elections,  God-Forgotten   was 

involved. 
There  was  little  there  to  live  for  save  in  drinking 

beer  and  eating ; 
But  we  rose  on  this  occasion  ere  the  news  appeared 

in  print, 
For  the  boys  of  God-Forgotten,  at  a  wild,  uproarious 

meeting, 

Nominated  Billy  Blazes  for   the  cominin     Parly- 
mint. 

162 


THE  GOD-FORGOTTEN  ELECTION  163 

Other  towns  had  other  favourites,  but  the  day  before 

the  battle 
Bushmen  flocked  to  God-Forgotten,  and  the  distant 

sheds  were  still ; 
Sheep  were  left  to  go  to  glory,  and  neglected  mobs  of 

cattle 
Went   a-straying  down  the  river  at  their   sweet 

bucolic  will. 
William  Spouter  stood  for  Freetrade  (and  his  votes 

were  split  by  Nottin), 
He  had  influence  behind  him  and  he  also  had  the 

tin, 

But  across  the  lonely  flatlands  came  the  cry  of  God- 
Forgotten, 

'  Vote   for  Blazes  and  Protection,   and  the   land 
you're  living  in  ! ' 

Pat  M'Durmer  said,  '  Ye  schaymers,  please  to  shut 

yer  ugly  faces, 
*  Lend  yer  dirty  ears  a  momint  while  I  give  ye  all 

a  hint : 
1  Keep  ye  sober  till  to-morrow  and  record  yer  vote  for 

Blazes 

'  If  ye  want  to  send  a  ringer  to  the  commin  Parly- 
mint. 


164  THE  GOD-FORGOTTEN  ELECTION 

*  As  a  young  and  growin'  township  God-Forgotten's 

been  neglected, 

'  And,  if  we'd  be  ripresinted,  now's  the  moment  to 
begin— 

*  Have  the  local  towns  encouraged,  local  industries 

purtected  : 

'Vote  for  Blazes,  and  Protection,  and  the  land  ye're 
livin'  in. 

'  I  don't  say  that  William  Blazes  is  a  perfect  out-an' 

outer, 
'  I  don't  say  he  have  the  larnin',  for  he  never  had 

the  luck  ; 
1 1  don't  say  he  have  the  logic,  or  the  gift  of  gab,  like 

Spouter, 
'I  don't  say  he  have  the  practice— BUT  I  SAY  HE 

HAVE   THE    PLUCK  ! 

'  Now  the  country's  gone  to   ruin,  and  the  Govern- 
ments are  rotten, 
*  But  he'll  save  the  public  credit  and  purtect  the 

public  tin  ; 

1  To  the  iverlastin'  glory  of  the  name  of  God-Forgotten 
1  Vote  for  Blazes  and  Protection,  and  the  land  ye're 
livin'  in ! ' 


THE  GOD-FORGOTTEN  ELECTION  165 

Pat  M'D.  went  on  the  war-path,  and  he  worked  like 

salts  and  senna, 
For  he  organised  committees  full  of  energy  and 

push ; 

And  those  wild  committees  riding  through  the  whisky- 
fed  Gehenna 
Routed  out  astonished  voters  from  their  humpies 

in  the  bush. 
Everything  on  wheels  was  '  rinted,'  and  half -sobered 

drunks  were  shot  in  ; 
Said  M'Durmer  to  the  driver,  '  If  ye  want  to  save 

yer  skin, 
*  Never  stop  to  wet  yer  whistles — drive  like  hell  to 

God-Forgotten, 

1  Make  the  villains  plump  for  Blazes,  and  the  land 
they're  livin'  in.' 

Half  the  local  long-departed  (for  the  purpose  resur- 
rected) 
Plumped  for  Blazes  and  Protection,  and  the  country 

where  they  died ; 
So  he  topped  the  poll  by  sixty,  and  when  Blazes  was 

elected 

There  was  victory  and  triumph  on  the  God-For- 
gotten side. 


166  THE  GOD-FORGOTTEN  ELECTION 

Then  the  boys  got  up  a  banquet,  and  our  chairman, 

Pat  M'Durmer, 
Was  next   day   discovered   sleeping   in   the   local 

baker's  bin — 
All  the  dough  had  risen  round  him,  but  we  heard  a 

smothered  murmur, 

1  Vote  for  Blazes — and  Protection — and  the  land 
ye're  livin'  in.' 

Now  the  great  Sir  William  Blazes  lives  in  London, 

'cross  the  waters, 
And  they  say  his  city  mansion  is  the  swellest  in 

West  End, 
But   I   very   often   wonder   if   his   toney   sons    and 

daughters 
Ever   heard   of   Billy   Blazes   who   was  once   the 

'  people's  friend.' 
Does   his  biassed   memory   linger   round   that   wild 

electioneering 
When  the  men   of   God-Forgotten   stuck   to   him 

through  thick  and  thin  ] 
Does  he  ever,  in  his  dreaming,  hear  the  cry  above  the 

cheering  : 

1  Vote  for  Blazes  and   Protection,    and  the   land 
you're  livin'   in  ? ' 


THE  GOD-FORGOTTEN  ELECTION  167 

Ah,  the  bush  was   grand    in    those    days,    and    the 

Western  boys  were  daisies, 
And  their  scheming  and  their  dodging  would  outdo 

the  wildest  print ; 
Still  my  recollection   lingers   round  the  time  when 

Billy  Blazes 
Was  returned  by  God-Forgotten  to  the  '  Commin 

Parlymint ' : 
Still  I  keep  a  sign  of  canvas — 'twas  a  mate  of  mine 

that  made  it — 
And  its  paint  is  cracked  and  powdered,   and  its 

threads  are  bare  and  thin, 
Yet  upon  its  grimy  surface  you  can  read  in  letters 

faded  : 

'Vote  for  Blazes  and  Protection,   and  the  Land 
you're  livin'  in.' 


THE  BOSS'S  BOOTS 

THE  shearers  squint  along  the  pens,  they  squint  along 

the  c  shoots ; ' 
The  shearers  squint  along  the  board  to  catch  the 

Boss's  boots ; 
They  have  no  time  to  straighten  up,  they  have  no 

time  to  stare, 
But  when  the  Boss  is  looking  on,  they  like  to  be 

aware. 

The  f  rouser '  has  no  soul  to  save.  Condemn  the  rouse- 
about  ! 

And  sling  'em  in,  and  rip  'em  through,  and  get  the  bell- 
sheep  out ; 

And  skim  it  by  the  tips  at  times,  or  take  it  with  the 
roots — 

But  'pink '  'em  nice  and  pretty  when  you  see  the  Boss's 
boots. 

168 


THE  BOSS'S  BOOTS  169 

The  shearing  super  sprained  his  foot,  as  bosses  some- 
times do — 

And  wore,  until  the  shed  cut  out,  one  '  side-spring ' 
and  one  shoe ; 

And  though  he  changed  his  pants  at  times — some 
worn-out  and  some  neat — 

No  '  tiger '  there  could  possibly  mistake  the  Boss's 
feet. 

The  Boss  affected  larger  boots  than  many  Western 

men, 
And  Jim  the  Ringer  swore  the  shoe  was  half  as  big 

again  ; 
And  tigers  might  have  heard  the  boss  ere  any  harm 

was  done — 
For  when  he  passed  it  was  a  sort  of  dot  and  carry  one. 

But  now  there  comes  a  picker-up  who  sprained  his 

ankle,  too, 
And  limping  round  the   shed   he  found   the  Boss's 

cast-off  shoe. 
He  went  to  work,  all  legs  and  arms,  as  green-hand 

rousers  will, 
And  never  dreamed  of  Boss's   boots — much  less  of 

Bogan  Bill. 


170  THE  BOSS'S  BOOTS 

Ye  sons  of  sin  that  tramp  and  shear  in  hot  and  dusty 

scrubs, 
Just  keep  away  from  '  headin'  'em,'  and  keep  away  from 

pubs, 
And  keep   away   from   handicaps — -for   so   your   sugar 

scoots — 
And  you  may  own  a  station  yet  and  wear  the  Boss's 

boots. 

And  Bogan  by  his  mate  was  heard  to  mutter  through 
his  hair  : 

'  The  Boss  has  got  a  rat  to-day  :  he's  buckin'  every- 
where— 

1  He's  trainin'  for  a  bike,  I  think,  the  way  he  comes 
an'  scoots, 

1  He's  like  a  bloomin'  cat  on  mud  the  way  he  shifts 
his  boots.' 

Now  Bogan  Bill  was  shearing  rough  and  chanced  to 

cut  a  teat ; 
He  stuck  his  leg  in  front  at  once,  and  slewed  the  ewe 

a  bit; 
He  hurried  up  to  get  her  through,  when,  close  beside 

his  shoot, 
He  saw  a  large  and  ancient  shoe,  in  mateship  with  a 

boot. 


THE  BOSS'S  BOOTS  171 

He  thought  that  he'd  be  fined  all  right — he  couldn't 

turn  the  '  yoe  ;' 
The  more  he  wished   the  boss  away,    the   more   he 

wouldn't  go ; 
And  Bogan  swore  amenfully — beneath  his  breath  he 

swore — 
And   he   was   never   known    to    '  pink '   so    prettily 

before. 

And  Bogan  through  his  bristling  scalp  in  his  mind's 

eye  could  trace, 
The  cold,  sarcastic  smile  that  lurked  about  the  Boss's 

face  ; 
He  cursed  him  with  a  silent  curse  in  language  known 

to  few, 
He  cursed  him  from  his  boot  right  up,  and  then  down 

to  his  shoe. 

But  while  he  shore  so  mighty  clean,   and  while  he 

screened  the  teat, 
He  fancied  there  was  something  wrong  about   the 

Boss's  feet : 
The  boot  grew  unfamiliar,  and  the  odd  shoe  seemed 

awry, 
And  slowly  up  the  trouser  went  the  tail  of  Bogan's  eye. 


172  THE  BOSS'S  BOOTS 

Then  swiftly  to  the  features  from  a  plaited  green-hide 

belt- 
You'd  have  to  ring  a  shed  or  two  to  feel  as  Bogan 

felt  — 
For   'twas   his   green-hand    picker-up    (who   wore    a 

vacant  look), 
And  Bogan  saw  the  Boss  outside  consulting  with  his 

cook. 

And  Bogan  Bill  was  hurt  and  mad  to  see  that  rouse- 
about  ; 

And  Bogan  laid  his  '  Wolseley '  down  and  knocked 
that  rouser  out ; 

He  knocked  him  right  across  the  board,  he  tumbled 
through  the  shoot  — 

'  I'll  learn  the  fool/  said  Bogan  Bill,  *  to  flash  the 
Boss's  boot ! ' 

The  rouser  squints  along  the  pens,  he  squints  along 
the  shoots, 

And  gives  his  men  the  office  when  they  miss  the 
Boss's  boots. 

They  have  no  time  to  straighten  up,  they're  too  well- 
bred  to  stare, 

But  when  the  Boss  is  looking  on  they  like  to  be 
aware. 


THE  BOSS'S  BOOTS  173 

The  rouser  has  no  soul  to  lose — it's  blarst  the  rouseabout ! 

And  rip  'em  through  and  yell  for  '  tar  '  and  get  the  bell- 
sheep  outt 

And  take  it  with  the  scum  at  times  or  take  it  with  the 
roots, — 

But  *  pink '  'em  nice  and  pretty  when  you  see  the  Boss's 
boots. 


'Rouseabout'  and  'picker-up*  are  interchangeable  terms  in  above 
rhymes,  as  also  'boss '  and  '  super ';  the  shed-name  for  the  latter  is  '  Boss- 
over-the-board.'  The  shearer  is  paid  by  the  hundred,  the  rouser  by  the 
week.  '  Pink  'em  pretty ' :  to  shear  clean  to  the  skin.  '  Bell-sheep ' : 
shearers  are  not  supposed  to  take  another  sheep  out  of  pen  when 
'  Smoke-ho,'  breakfast  or  dinner  bell  goes,  but  some  time  themselves  to 
get  so  many  sheep  out,  and  one  as  the  bell  gofg,  which  makes  more  work 
for  the  rouser  and  entrenches  on  his  '  smoke-no,'  as  he  must  leave  his 
'  board '  clean.  Shearers  are  seldom  or  never  fined  now. 


THE  CAPTAIN  OF  THE  PUSH 

As  the  night  was  falling  slowly  down  on  city,  town 

and  bush, 
From  a  slum  in  Jones'  Alley  sloped  the  Captain  of 

the  Push ; 
And  he  scowled  towards  the  North,  and  he  scowled 

towards  the  South, 
As  he  hooked  his  little  finger  in  the  corners  of  his 

mouth. 
Then  his  whistle,  loud  and  shrill,  woke  the  echoes  of 

the  '  Rocks,' 
And  a  dozen  ghouls  came  sloping  round  the  corners 

of  the  blocks. 

There  was  nought  to  rouse  their  anger  ;  yet  the  oath 

that  each  one  swore 
Seemed  less  fit  for  publication  than  the  one  that  went 

before. 

174 


THE  CAPTAIN  OF  THE  PUSH  175 

For  they  spoke  the  gutter  language  with  the  easy  flow 

that  comes 
Only  to  the  men  whose  childhood  knew  the  brothels 

and  the  slums. 
Then  they  spat  in  turns,  and  halted  ;  and  the  one 

that  came  behind, 
Spitting  fiercely  on  the  pavement,  called  on  Heaven 

to  strike  him  blind. 

Let  us  first  describe  the  captain,  bottle-shouldered, 

pale  and  thin, 

For  he  was  the  beau-ideal  of  a  Sydney  larrikin ; 
E'en  his  hat  was  most  suggestive  of  the  city  where  we 

live, 
With  a  gallows-tilt  that  no  one,  save  a  larrikin,  can 

give; 
And  the  coat,  a  little  shorter  than  the  writer  would 

desire, 
Showed  a  more  or  less  uncertain  portion  of  his  strange 

attire. 

That  which  tailors  know  as  '  trousers ' — known  by 

him  as  '  bloomin'  bags  ' — 
Hanging  loosely  from  his  person,  swept,  with  tattered 

ends,  the  flags ; 


176  THE  CAPTAIN  OF  THE  PUSH 

And  he  had  a  pointed  stern  post  to  the  boots   that 

peeped  below 
(Which  he  laced  up  from  the  centre  of  the  nail  of  his 

great  toe), 
And    he    wore    his    shirt    uncollar'd,    and    the    tie 

correctly  wrong ; 
But  I  think  his  vest  was  shorter  than  should  be  in 

one  so  long. 

And  the  captain  crooked  his  finger  at  a  stranger  on 

the  kerb, 

Whom  he  qualified  politely  with  an  adjective  and  verb, 
And  he  begged  the  Gory  Bleeders  that  they  wouldn  t 

interrupt 
Till    he    gave    an    introduction — it    was    painfully 

abrupt — 
*  Here's    the    bleedin'    push,    me    covey — here's    a 

(something)  from  the  bush  ! 
1  Strike  me  dead,   he  wants  to  join  us  ! '   said  the 

captain  of  the  push. 

Said  the  stranger  :  *  I  am  nothing  but  a  bushy  and 

a  dunce ; 
'But   I   read   about  the   Bleeders  in   the  WEEKLY 

GASBAG  once : 


THE  CAPTAIN  OF  THE  PUSH  177 

'  Sitting  lonely  in  the  humpy  when  the  wind  began  to 

"  whoosh," 
4  How  I  longed  to  share  the  dangers  and  the  pleasures 

of  the  push ! 
1  Gosh  !  I  hate  the  swells   and  good  'uns —  I  could 

burn  'em  in  their  beds  ; 
'  I  am  with  you,   if  you'll  have  me,  and  I'll  break 

their  blazing  heads.' 

'  Now,    look   here,'    exclaimed    the    captain   to   the 

stranger  from  the  bush, 
1  Now,  look  here  —  suppose  a  feller  was  to  split  upon 

the  push, 

*  Would  you  lay  for  him  and  fetch  him,  even  if  the 

traps  were  round  1 

*  Would  you  lay  him  out  and   kick  him  to  a  jelly  on 

the  ground  .1 
'  Would  you  jump  upon  the  nameless — kill,  or  cripple 

him,  or  both  1 
1  Speak  ?  or  else  I'll— SPEAK  !'    The  stranger  answered, 

4  My  kerlonial  oath  ! ' 

1  Now,  look  here,'  exclamed  the  captain  to  the  stranger 

from  the  bush, 
1  Now,  look  here — suppose  the  Bleeders  let  you  come 

and  join  the  push, 


178  THE  CAPTAIN  OF  THE  PUSH 

'  Would  you  smash  a  bleedin'  bobby  if  you  got  the 

blank  alone? 
'  Would  you  break  a  swell  or  Chinkie — split  his  garret 

with  a  stone  ? 
'  Would  you  have  a  "  moll "  to   keep   yer — like  to 

swear  off  work  for  good  ? ' 
1  Yes,  my  oath  ! '  replied  the  stranger.    '  My  kerlonial 

oath  !    I  would  ! ' 

1  Now,    look   here,'  exclaimed    the  captain    to    that 

stranger  .from  the  bush, 
'Now,  look  here — before  the  Bleeders  let  yer  come 

and  join  the  push, 
'You  must  prove  that   you're   a   blazer  —you   must 

prove  that  you  have  grit 
'  Worthy  of  a  Gory  Bleeder — you   must  show  your 

form  a  bit  — 
1  Take  a   rock   and   smash    that   winder  1 '    and   the 

stranger,  nothing  loth, 
Took  the  rock  and— smash!      They  only   muttered 

1  My  kerlonial  oath  ! ' 

So  they  swore  him  in,  and  found  him  sure  of  aim 

and  light  of  heel, 
And  his  only  fault,  if  any,  lay  in  his  excessive  zeal ; 


THE  CAPTAIN  OF  THE  PUSH  179 

He  was  good  at  throwing  metal,  but  we  chronicle  with 

pain 
That  he  jumped  upon  a  victim,  damaging  the  watch 

and  chain, 
Ere  the  Bleeders  had  secured  them  ;  yet  the  captain 

of  the  push 
Swore  a  dozen  oaths  in  favour  of  the  stranger  from 

the  bush. 

Late  next  morn  the  captain,  rising,  hoarse  and  thirsty 

from  his  lair, 
Called  the  newly-feather'd  Bleeder,  but  the  stranger 

wasn't  there  ! 
Quickly  going  through  the  pockets  of  his  *  bloomin' 

bags/  he  learned 
That  the  stranger  had  been  through  him  for  the  stuff 

his  { moll '  had  earned  ; 
And    the    language    that    he    muttered    I    should 

scarcely  like  to  tell 
(Stars  !  and  notes  of  exclamation  ! !  blank  and  dash 

will  do  as  well). 

In  the  night  the  captain's  signal  woke  the  echoes  of 

the  '  Rocks,' 
Brought  the  Gory  Bleeders  sloping  thro'  the  shadows 

of  the  blocks ; 


180  THE  CAPTAIN  OF  TBE  PUSH 

And  they  swore  the  stranger's  action  was  a  blood- 
escaping  shame, 

While  they  waited  for  the  nameless,  but  the  name- 
less never  came. 

And  the  Bleeders  soon  forgot  him  ;  but  the  captain  of 
the  push 

Still  is  'laying'  round,  in  ballast,  for  the  nameless 
'  from  the  bush.' 


BILLY'S   'SQUARE   AFFAIR' 

LONG  BILL,  the  captain  of  the  push,  was  tired  of  his 

estate, 
And  wished  to  change  his  life  and  win  the  love  of 

something  'straight'; 
Twas  rumour 'd  that  the  Gory  B.'s  had  heard  Long 

Bill  declare 
That  he  would  turn  respectable  and  wed  a  '  square 

affair.' 

He  craved  the  kiss  of  innocence  ;  his  spirit  longed  to 

rise; 
The    'Crimson    Streak,'    his    faithful    'piece,'   grew 

hateful  in  his  eyes  ; 
(And   though,   in   her  entirety,   the  Crimson  Streak 

'  was  there,' 
I   grieve   to   state  the  Crimson  Streak    was   not   a 

'  square  affair.') 

181 


182  BILLY'S    'SQUARE   AFFAIR' 

He  wanted  clothes,  a  masher  suit,  he  wanted  boots 

and  hat ; 
His  girl  had  earned  a  quid  or  two — he  wouldn't  part 

with  that ; 
And  so  he  went  to  Brickfield  Hill,  and  from  a  draper 

there 
He  'shook'  the  proper  kind  of  togs  to  fetch  a  'square 

affair.' 

Long  Bill  went  to  the  barber's  shop  and  had  a  shave 

and  singe, 
And  from  his  narrow  forehead  combed  his  darling 

Mabel  fringe ; 
Long  Bill  put  on  a  c  square  cut '  and  he  brushed  his 

boots  with  care, 
And  roved  about  the  Gardens  till  he  mashed  a  'square 

affair.' 

She  was  a  tony  servant-girl  from  somewhere  on  '  the 

Shore ; ' 
She  dressed  in  style  that  suited  Bill — he  could  not 

wish  for  more. 
While  in  her  guileless  presence  he  had  ceased  to  chew 

or  swear, 
He  knew  the  kind  of  barrack  that  can  fetch  a  square 

affair. 


BILLY'S   'SQUARE  AFFAIR'  183 

To  thus  desert  his  donah  old  was  risky  and  a  sin, 
And  'twould  have  served  him  right  if  she  had  caved 

his  garret  in. 
The  Gory  Bleeders  thought  it  too,  and  warned  him 

to  take  care 
In  case  the  Crimson  Streak  got  scent  of  Billy's  square 

affair. 

He  took  her  to  the  stalls  ;  'twas  dear,  but  Billy  said 

'  Wot  odds  ! ' 
He  couldn't  take  his  square  affair  amongst  the  crimson 

gods. 
They  wandered  in  the  park  at  night,   and  hugged 

each  other  there — 
But,  ah  !    the  Crimson    Streak   got  wind  of   Billy's 

square  affair  ! 

'  The  blank  and  space  and  stars  ! '   she  yelled  ;    '  the 

nameless  crimson  dash  ! 
'  I'll  smash  the  blank  y  crimson  and  his  square  affair, 

I'll  smash ' — 
In  short,  she  drank  and  raved  and  shrieked  and  tore 

her  crimson  hair, 
And  swore  to  murder  Billy  and  to  pound  his  square 

affair. 


184  BILLY'S   'SQUARE  AFFAIR' 

And  so  one  summer  evening,  as  the  day  was  growing 

dim, 
She  watched  her  bloke  go  out.  and  foxed  his  square 

affair  and  him. 
That  night  the  park  was  startled  by  the  shrieks  that 

rent  the  air — 
The  'Streak'  had  gone  for  Billy  and  for  Billy's  square 

affair. 

The  '  gory '  push  had  foxed  the  Streak,  they  foxed 

her  to  the  park, 
And  they,  of  course,  were  close  at  hand  to  see  the 

bleedin'  lark ; 

A  cop  arrived  in  time  to  hear  a  'gory  B.'  declare 
'  Gor  blar-me  !    here's  the  Red  Streak  foul  of  Billy's 

square  affair.' 

Now  Billy  scowls  about  the  Rocks,  his  manly  beauty 

marr'd, 
And  Billy's  girl,   upon  her  'ed,  is  doin'  six  months 

'ard; 

Bill's  swivel  eye  is  in  a  sling,  his  heart  is  in  despair, 
And  in  the  Sydney  'Orspital  lies  Billy's  square  affair. 


A  DERRY  ON  A  COVE 

'TWAS  in  the  felon's  dock  he  stood,  his  eyes  were  black 

and  blue  \ 
His  voice  with  grief  was  broken,  and  his  nose  was 

broken,  too ; 
He  muttered,  as  that  broken  nose  he  wiped  upon  his 

cap— 
'It's  orful  when  the  p'leece  has  got  a  derry  on  a 

chap. 


*  I  am  a  honest  workin'  cove,  as  any  bloke  can  see, 
'  It's  just  because  the  p'leece  has  got  a  derry,  sir,  on 

me  ; 
'  Oh,  yes,  the  legal  gents  can  grin,  I  say  it  ain't  no 

joke — 
;  It's  cruel  when  the  p'leece  has  got  a  derry   on  a 

bloke.' 

185 


186  A  DERRY  ON  A  COVE 

*  Why  don't  you  go  to  work  1 '  he  said  (he  muttered, 

'Why  don't  you?'). 
1  Yer  honer  knows  as  well  as  me  there  ain't  no  work 

to  do. 
1  And  when  I  try  to  find  a  job  I'm  shaddered  by  a 

trap — 
'  It's  awful  when  the  p'leece  has  got  a  derry  on  a 

chap.' 

I  sigh'd  and  shed  a  tearlet  for  that  noble  nature 

marred, 
But,  ah !  the  Bench  was  rough  on  him,  and  gave  him 

six  months'  hard. 
He  only  said,  *  Beyond  the  grave  you'll  cop  it  hot,  by 

Jove  ! 
'There  ain't  no  angel  p'leece  to  get  a  derry  on  a 


RISE   YE!     RISE   YE! 

RISE  ye  !  rise  ye  !    noble  toilers  !    claim  your  rights 

with  fire  and  steel  ! 
Rise  ye  !   for  the  cursed  tyrants  crush  ye  with  the 

hiron  'eel  ! 
They   would   treat   ye   worse  than   sl-a-a-ves !    they 

would  treat  ye  worse  than  brutes  ! 
Rise  and  crush  the  selfish  tyrants  !    ku-r-rush  them 
with  your  hob-nailed  boots  ! 

Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  glorious  toilers  ! 
Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  noble  toilers  ! 
Erwake  !  er-rise  ! 


Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  noble  toilers  !  tyrants  come  across 

the  waves  ! 
Will  ye  yield  the  Rights  of  Labour  ?  will  ye  ?  will  ye 

still  be  sl-a-a-ves  ?  !  !  ! 

187 


188  RISK  YE  !     RISE  YE  ! 

Rise  ye  !    rise  ye  !    mighty  toilers !    and  revoke  the 

rotten  laws  ! 

Lo  !  your  wives  go  out  a-washing  while  ye  battle  for 
the  caws  ! 

Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  glorious  toilers  ! 
Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  noble  toilers  ! 
Erwake  !  er-rise  ! 

Our  gerlorious  dawn  is  breaking  !     Lo  !    the  tyrant 

trembles  now  ! 
He  will  sta-a-rve  us  here  no  longer  !    toilers  will  not 

bend  or  bow  ! 
Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  noble  toilers  !  rise  !  behold,  revenge 

is  near ; 

See  the  leaders  of  the  people  !  come  an'  'ave  a  pint  o' 
beer  ! 

Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  noble  toilers  ! 
Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  glorious  toilers  ! 
Erwake  !  er-rise  ! 

Lo !    the  poor  are   starved,    my   brothers !    lo !    our 

wives  and  children  weep  ! 
Lo  !  our  women  toil  to  keep  us  while  the  toilers  are 

asleep  ! 


RISE  YE  I      RISE  YE  !  189 

Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  noble  toilers  !   rise  and  break  the 

tyrant's  chain  ! 

March  ye  !  march  ye !    mighty  toilers !    even  to  the 
battle  plain  ! 

Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  noble  toilers  ! 
Rise  ye  !  rise  ye  !  noble  toilers  ! 
Erwake  !  er-r-rise  ! 


THE   BALLAD   OF   MABEL   CLARE 

YE  children  of  the  Land  of  Gold, 

I  sing  a  song  to  you, 
And  if  the  jokes  are  somewhat  old, 

The  main  idea  78  new. 
So  be  it  sung,  by  hut  and  tent, 

Where  tall  the  native  grows ; 
And  understand,  the  song  is  meant 

For  singing  through  the  nose. 

There  dwelt  a  hard  old  cockatoo 

On  western  hills  far  out, 
Where  everything  is  green  and  blue, 

Except,  of  course,  in  drought ; 
A  crimson  Anarchist  was  he — 

Held  other  men  in  scorn — 
Yet  preached  that  ev'ry  man  was  free, 

And  also  *  ekal  born.' 

190 


THE  BALLAD  OF  MABEL  CLARE  191 

He  lived  in  his  ancestral  hut — 

His  missus  wasn't  there — 
And  there  was  no  one  with  him  but 

His  daughter,  Mabel  Clare. 
Her  eyes  and  hair  were  like  the  sun ; 

Her  foot  was  like  a  mat ; 
Her  cheeks  a  trifle  overdone ; 

She  was  a  democrat. 

A  manly  independence,  born 

Among  the  trees,  she  had, 
She  treated  womankind  with  scorn, 

And  often  cursed  her  dad. 
She  hated  swells  and  shining  lights, 

For  she  had  seen  a  few, 
And  she  believed  in  '  women's  rights  ' 

(She  mostly  got  'em,  too). 

A  stranger  at  the  neighb'ring  run 

Sojourned,  the  squatter's  guest, 
He  was  unknown  to  anyone, 

But  like  a  swell  was  dress'd ; 
He  had  an  eyeglass  to  his  eye, 

A  collar  to  his  ears, 
His  feet  were  made  to  tread  the  sky, 

His  mouth  was  formed  for  sneers. 


THE  BALLAD  OF  MABEL  CLARE 

He  wore  the  latest  toggery, 

The  loudest  thing  in  ties — 
'Twas  generally  reckoned  he 

Was  something  in  disguise. 
But  who  he  was,  or  whence  he  came, 

Was  long  unknown,  except 
Unto  the  squatter,  who  the  name 

And  noble  secret  kept. 

And  strolling  in  the  noontide  heat, 

Beneath  the  blinding  glare, 
This  noble  stranger  chanced  to  meet 

The  radiant  Mabel  Clare. 
She  saw  at  once  he  was  a  swell — 

According  to  her  lights — 
But,  ah  !  'tis  very  sad  to  tell, 

She  met  him  oft  of  nights. 

And,  strolling  through  a  moonlit  gorge, 

She  chatted  all  the  while 
Of  Ingersoll,  and  Henry  George, 

And  Bradlaugh  and  Carlyle  : 
In  short,  he  learned  to  love  the  girl, 

And  things  went  on  like  this, 
Until  he  said  he  was  an  Earl, 

And  asked  her  to  be  his. 


THE  BALLAD  OF  MABEL  CLARE  193 

1  Oh,  say  no  more,  Lord  Kawlinee, 
'  Oh,  say  no  more  ! '  she  said  ; 

*  Oh,  say  no  more,  Lord  Kawlinee, 

*  I  wish  that  I  was  dead  : 

1  My  head  is  in  a  hawf  ul  whirl, 

'  The  truth  I  dare  not  tell— 
4 1  am  a  democratic  girl, 

'  And  cannot  wed  a  swell ! ' 

'  Oh  love  ! '  he  cried,  *  but  you  forget 
'  That  you  are  most  unjust ; 

*  'Twas  not  my  fault  that  I  was  set 

'  Within  the  upper  crust. 

*  Heed  not  the  yarns  the  poets  tell — 

'  Oh,  darling,  do  not  doubt 
c  A  simple  lord  can  love  as  well 
'  As  any  rouseabout ! 

'  For  you  I'll  give  my  fortune  up — 
'  I'd  go  to  work  for  you  ! 

*  I'll  put  the  money  in  the  cup 

*  And  drop  the  title,  too. 

'  Oh,  fly  with  me  !     Oh,  fly  with  me 

'  Across  the  mountains  blue  ! 
4  Hoh,  fly  with  me  !     Hoh,  fly  with  me ! ' 

That  very  night  she  flew. 


194  THE  BALLAD  OF  MABEL  CLARE 

They  took  the  train  and  journeyed  down- 
Across  the  range  they  sped — 

Until  they  came  to  Sydney  town, 
Where  shortly  they  were  wed. 

And  still  upon  the  western  wild 
Admiring  teamsters  tell 

How  Mabel's  father  cursed  his  child 
For  clearing  with  a  swell. 

*  What  ails  my  bird  this  bridal  night,' 

Exclaimed  Lord  Kawlinee ; 

I  What  ails  my  own  this  bridal  night — 

*  O  love,  confide  in  me  !' 

c  Oh  now,'  she  said,  'that  I  am  yaws 
1  You'll  let  me  weep — I  must — 

I 1  did  desert  the  people's  cause 
'To  join  the  upper  crust.' 

0  proudly  smiled  his  lordship  then — 
His  chimney-pot  he  floor'd — 

*  Look  up,  my  love,  and  smile  again, 

*  For  I  am  not  a  lord  ! ' 

His  eye-glass  from  his  eye  he  tore, 
The  dickey  from  his  breast, 

And  turned  and  stood  his  bride  before 
A  rouseabout — confess'd  ! 


THE  BALLAD  OF  MABEL  CLARE  195 

'  Unknown  I've  loved  you  long,'  he  said, 

1  And  I  have  loved  you  true — 
'  A-shearing  in  your  guv'ner's  shed 

'  I  learned  to  worship  you. 
1 1  do  not  care  for  place  or  pelf, 

'  For  now,  my  love,  I'm  sure 
That  you  will  love  me  for  myself 

*  And  not  because  I'm  poor. 

'  To  prove  your  love  I  spent  my  cheque 

'  To  buy  this  swell  rig-out ; 
1  So  fling  your  arms  about  my  neck 

'For  I'm  a  rouseabout !' 
At  first  she  gave  a  startled  cry, 

Then,  safe  from  care's  alarms, 
She  sigh'd  a  soul-subduing  sigh 

And  sank  into  his  arms. 

He  pawned  the  togs,  and  home  he  took 

His  bride  in  all  her  charms  ; 
The  proud  old  cockatoo  received 

The  pair  with  open  arms. 
And  long  they  lived,  the  faithful  bride, 

The  noble  rouseabout — 
And  if  she  wasn't  satisfied 

She  never  let  it  out. 


CONSTABLE   M'CARTY'S    INVESTIGATIONS 

MOST  unpleasantly  adjacent  to  the  haunts  of  lower 

orders 
Stood  a  '  terrace '  in  the  city  when  the  current  year 

began, 
And   a   notice   indicated    there   were   vacancies   for 

boarders 
In  the  middle  house,    and   lodgings   for  a   single 

gentleman. 
Now,  a  singular  observer  could  have  seen  but  few 

attractions 
Whether  in  the  house,  or  '  missus,    or  the  notice, 

or  the  street, 
But  at  last  there  came  a  lodger  whose  appearances 

and  actions 

Puzzled  Constable  M'Carty,  the  policeman  on  the 
beat. 

196 


CONSTABLE  M'CARTY'S  INVESTIGATIONS      197 

He  (the  single  gent)  was  wasted  almost  to  emaciation, 
And  his  features  were  the  palest  that  M'Carty  ever 

saw, 

And  these  indications,  pointing  to  a  past  of  dissipa- 
tion, 
Greatly  strengthened  the  suspicions  of  the  agent  of 

the  law. 
He  (the  lodger— hang  the  pronoun  !)  seemed  to  like 

the  stormy  weather, 
When  the  elements  in  battle  kept  it  up  a  little 

late; 
Yet  he'd  wander  in  the  moonlight  when  the  stars 

were  close  together, 
Taking  ghostly  consolation  in  a  visionary  state. 


He  would  walk  the  streets  at  midnight,   when  the 

storm-king  raised  his  banner, 
Walk  without  his  old  umbrella, — wave   his  arms 

above  his  head  : 
Or  he'd  fold  them   tight,    and   mutter,    in   a    wild, 

disjointed  manner, 

While  the  town  was  wrapped  in  slumber  and  he 
should  have  been  in  bed. 


198    CONSTABLE   M'CARTY'S  INVESTIGATIONS 

Said  the  consfcable-on-duty :  'Shure,  Oi  wonther  phwat 

his  trade  is  1 ' 
And   the   constable    would   watch    him   from    the 

shadow  of  a  wall, 
But  he  never  picked  a  pocket,  and  he  ne'er  accosted 

ladies, 

And  the  constable  was  puzzled  what  to  make  of 
him  at  all. 

Now,  M'Carty   had  arrested  more  than  one  notorious 

dodger, 
He  had  heard  of  men  afflicted  with  the  strangest 

kind  of  fads, 
But  he  couldn't  fix  the  station  or  the  business  of  the 

lodger, 
Who  at  times  would  chum  with  cadgers,  and  at 

other  times  with  cads. 
And  the  constable  would  often  stand  and  wonder  how 

the  gory 
Sheol  the  stranger  got  his  living,  for  he  loafed  the 

time  away 
he  often  sought  a  hillock  when  the  sun  went 

down  in  glory, 

Just  as  if  he  was  a  mourner  at  the  burial  of  the 
day. 


CONSTABLE  M'CARTY'S  INVESTIGATIONS     199 

Mac.  had  noticed  that  the  lodger  did  a  mighty  lot  of 

smoking, 
And  could  '  stow  away  a  long  'un,'  never  winking, 

so  he  could  ; 
And  M'Oarty  once,  at  midnight,  came  upon  the  lodger 

poking 
Round  about  suspicious  alleys  where  the  common 

houses  stood. 
Yet   the  constable  had  seen   him  in  a  class  above 

suspicion — 
Seen  him   welcomed   with   effusion    by    a    dozen 

*  toney  gents ' — 

Seen  him  driving  in  the  buggy  of  a  rising  politician 
Thro'  the  gateway  of  the  member's  toney  private 
residence. 


And  the  constable,  off  duty,  had  observed  the  lodger 

slipping 
Down  a  lane  to  where   the  river  opened  on  the 

ocean  wide, 
Where  he'd  stand  for  hours   gazing  at  the  distant 

anchor'd  shipping, 

But  he    never    took    his    coat    off,  so  it   wasn't 
suicide. 


200    CONSTABLE  M'CARTY'S  INVESTIGATIONS 

For  the  constable  had  noticed  that  a  man  who's  filled 

with  loathing 
For  his  selfish  fellow -creatures  and  the  evil  things 

that  be, 
Will,  for  some  mysterious  reason,  shed  a  portion  of 

his  clothing, 
Ere  he  takes  his  first  and  final  plunge  into  eternity. 

And  M'Carty,  once  at  midnight— be  it  said  to  his 

abasement — 
Left  his  beat  and  climbed  a  railing  of  considerable 

height, 
Just  to  watch  the  lodger's  shadow  on  the  curtain  of 

his  casement 
While  the  little  room  was  lighted  in  the  listening 

hours  of  night. 
Now,  at  first  the  shadow  hinted  that  the  substance 

sat  inditing ; 
Now   it   indicated    toothache,    or    the   headache ; 

and  again, 
'T would  exaggerate  the   gestures   of  a   dipsomaniac 

fighting 

Those  original    conceptions    of   a    whisky-sodden 
brain. 


CONSTABLE  M'CARTY'S  INVESTIGATIONS    201 

Then  the  constable,  retreating,  scratched  his  head  and 
muttered  '  Sorra 

*  Wan  of  me  can  undershtand  it.     But  Oi'll  keep 

me  Oi  on  him, 

'  Divil  take  him  and  his  tantrums ;    he's  a  lunatic, 
begorra  ! 

*  Or,  if  he  was  up  to  mischief,  he'd  be  sure  to  douse 

the  glim.' 

But  M'Carty  wasn't  easy,  for  he  had  a  vague  suspicion 
That  a  '  skame  '  was  being  plotted;  and  he  thought 

the  matter  down 
Till  his  mind  was  pretty  certain  that  the  business  was 

sedition, 

And  the  man,   in  league  with  others,   sought  to 
overthrow  the  Crown. 


But,  in  spite  of  observation,  Mac    received  no  infor- 
mation 
And  was  forced  to  stay  inactive,  being  puzzled  for 

a  charge. 
That  the  lodger  was   a   madman   seemed   the   only 

explanation, 

Tho'   the   house   would   scarcely   harbour   such    a 
lunatic  at  large. 


202    CONSTABLE  M'CARTY'S  INVESTIGATIONS 

His  appearance  failed  to  warrant  apprehension  as  a 

vagrant, 
Tho'  'twas  getting  very  shabby,  as  the  constable 

could  see ; 
But  M'Carty  in  the  meantime  hoped  to  catch  him  in 

a  flagrant 

Breach  of  peace,  or  the   intention   to  commit   a 
felony. 

(For  digression  there  is  leisure,  and  it  is  the  writer's 

pleasure 
Just  to  pause  a  while  and  ponder  on  a  painful  legal 

fact, 
Being  forced  to  say  in  sorrow,  and  a  line  of  doubtful 

measure, 
That  there's  nothing  so  elastic  as  the  cruel  Vagrant 

Act) 
Now,  M'Carty  knew  his  duty,  and  was  brave  as  any 

lion, 

But  he  dreaded  being  'landed'  in  an  influential  bog — 
As  the  chances  were  he  would  be  if  the  man  he  had 

his  eye  on 

Was  a  person  of  importance  who  was  travelling 
incog. 


CONSTABLE  M'CARTY'S  INVESTIGATIONS    203 

Want  of  sleep  and  over-worry  seemed  to  tell  upon 

M'Carty  : 
He  was  thirsty  more  than  ever,  but  his  appetite 

resigned ; 
He  was  previously  reckoned    as   a   jolly    chap   and 

hearty, 
But  the  mystery  was  lying  like  a  mountain  on  his 

mind. 
Tho'  he  tried  his  best,  he  couldn't  get  a  hold  upon 

the  lodger, 
For  the  latter's  antecedents  weren't  known  to  the 

police — 
They  considered  that  the   '  devil '  was  a  dark  and 

artful  dodger 

Who  was  scheming  under  cover  for  the  downfall 
of  the  peace. 

'Twas  a  simple  explanation,  though  M'Carty  didn't 

know  it, 
Which  with  half  his  penetration  he  might  easily 

have  seen, 

For  the  object  of  his  dangerous  suspicions  was  a  poet, 
Who  was  not  so  widely  famous  as  he  thought  he  should 
have  been. 


204    CONSTABLE  M'CARTY'S  INVESTIGATIONS 

And  the  constable  grew  thinner,  till  one  morning, 

*  little  dhramin' 
'  A.V  the  sword  of  revelation  that  was  leapin'  from 

its  sheath,' 
He  alighted  on  some  verses  in  the  columns  of  the 

FRAYMAN, 

*  Wid  the  Christian  name  an  surname  av  the  lodger 
onderneath!' 

Now,   M'Carty   and    the   poet  are  as  brother  is  to 

brother, 
Or,  at  least,  as  brothers  should  be ;  and  they  very 

often  meet 
On  the  lonely  block  at  midnight,  and  they  wink  at 

one  another — 
Disappearing  down  the  by-way  of  a  shanty  in  the 

street. 
And  the  poet's  name  you're  asking  1 — well,  the  ground 

is  very  tender, 
You  must  wait  until  the  public  put  the  gilt  upon 

the  name, 
Till  a  glorious,  sorrow-drowning,  and,  perhaps,  a  final 

{  bender,' 

Heralds  his  triumphant  entrance  to  the  thunder- 
halls  of  Fame. 


AT  THE  TUG-OF-WAR 

'TWAS  in  a  tug-of-war  where  I — the  guvnor's  hope  and 

pride — 
Stepped  proudly  on  the  platform  as  the  ringer  on  my 

side ; 
Old  dad  was  in  his  glory  there — it  gave  the  old  man 

joy 

To  fight  a  passage  through  the  crowd  and  barrack  for 
his  boy. 

A  friend  came  up  and  said  to  me,    { Put  out  your 

muscles,  John, 
'  And  pull  them  to  eternity — your  guvnor's  looking 

on.' 
I  paused  before   I  grasped  the   rope,    and   glanced 

around  the  place, 
And,  foremost  in  the  waiting  crowd,  I  saw  the  old 

man's  face. 

205 


206  AT  THE  TUG-OF-WAR 

My  mates  were  strong  and  plucky  chaps,  but  very 

soon  I  knew 
That  our  opponents  had  the  weight  and  strength  to 

pull  them  through ; 

The  boys  were  losing  surely  and  defeat  was  very  near, 
When,  high  above  the  mighty  roar,  I  heard  the  old 

man  cheer ! 

I  felt  nay  muscles  swelling  when  the  old  man  cheer'd 

for  me, 
I   felt  as  though    I'd  burst   my  heart,  or  gain   the 

victory  ! 
I  shouted,  '  Now  !   Together !'   and  a   steady   strain 

replied, 
And,  with  a  mighty  heave,  I  helped  to  beat  the  other 

side! 

Oh  !  how  the  old  man  shouted  in  his  wild,  excited  joy  ! 
I  thought  he'd  burst  his  boiler  then,  a-cheering  for 

his  boy ; 
The  chaps,  oh  !  how  they  cheered  me,  while  the  girls 

all  smiled  so  kind, 
They  praised  me,  little  dreaming,  how  the  old  man 

pulled  behind. 


AT  THE  TUG-OF-WAR  207 

He  barracks  for  his  boy  no  more — his  grave  is  old 

and  green, 
And  sons  have  grown  up  round  me  since  he  vanished 

from  the  scene ; 
But,   when  the  cause  is  worthy  where  I  fight  for 

victory, 
In  fancy  still  I  often  hear  the  old  man  cheer  for  me. 


HERE'S  LUCK ! 

OLD  Time  is  tramping  close   to-day — you   hear   his 

bluchers  fall, 
A  mighty  change  is  on  the  way,  an'  God  protect  us 

all; 
Some  dust'll  fly  from  beery  coats — at  least  it's  been 

declared. 
I'm  glad  that  wimin  has  the  votes — but  just  a  trifle 

scared. 

I'm  just  a  trifle  scared — For  why  ?     The  wimin  mean 

to  rule ; 
It  makes  me  feel  like  days  gone  by  when  I  was  caned 

at  school. 
The  days  of  men  is  nearly  dead — of  double  moons 

and  stars— 
They'll  soon  put  out  our  pipes,  'tis  said,  an'  close  the 

public  bars. 


HERE'S  LUCK !  209 

No  more  we'll  take  a  glass  of  ale  when  pushed  with 

care  an'  strife, 
An'  chuckle  home  with  that  old  tale  we  used  to  tell 

the  wife. 
We'll  laugh  an'  joke  an'  sing  no  more  with  jolly  beery 

chums, 
An'  shout  'Here's  luck  !'  while  waitin'  for  the  luck 

that  never  comes. 

Did  we  prohibit  swillin'  tea  clean  out  of  common- 
sense 

Or  legislate  on  gossipin'  across  a  backyard  fence  1 

Did  we  prohibit  bustles — or  the  hoops  when  they  was 
here? 

The  wimin  never  think  of  this — they  want  to  stop 
our  beer. 

The  track  o'  life  is  dry  enough,  an'  crossed  with  many 

a  rut, 
But,  oh !  we'll  find  it  long  an'  rough  when  all  the 

pubs  is  shut ; 
When  all  the  pubs  is  shut,   an'  gone  the  doors  we 

used  to  seek, 
An'  we  go  toilin',  thirstin'  on  through  Sundays  all  the 

week. 


210  HERE'S  LUCK ! 

For  since  the  days  when  pubs  was  *  inns  ' — in  years 

gone  past  'n'  far — 
Poor  sinful  souls  have  drowned  their  sins  an'  sorrers 

at  the  bar ; 
An'  though  at  times  it  led  to  crimes,  an'  debt,  and 

such  complaints — 
I  scarce  dare  think  about  the  time  when  all  mankind 

is  saints. 

'Twould    make  the  bones  of  Bacchus  leap  an'  break 

his  coffin  lid ; 
And  Burns's  ghost  would  wail  an'  weep  as  Bobby 

never  did. 
But  let  the  preachers  preach  in  style,  an'  rave  and 

rant — 'n'  buck, 
I  rather  guess  they'll  hear  awhile  the  old  war-cry : 

'Here's  Luck!' 

The  world  might  wobble  round  the  sun,  an'  all  the 

banks  go  bung, 
But  pipes'll  smoke  an'  liquor  run  while  Auld  Lang 

Syne  is  sung. 
While  men  are  driven  through   the  mill,  an'  flinty 

times  is  struck, 
They'll  find  a  private  entrance  still ! 

Here's  Luck,  old  man — Here's  Luck  ! 


THE   MEN   WHO   COME   BEHIND 

THERE'S  a  class  of  men  (and  women)  who  are  always 

on  their  guard — 
Cunning,    treacherous,    suspicious — feeling   softly — 

grasping  hard — 
Brainy,  yet    without    the    courage   to   forsake   the 

beaten  track — 
Cautiously  they  feel  their  way  behind  a  bolder  spirit's 

back. 

If  you  save  a  bit  of  money,  and  you  start  a  little 

store — 
Say,  an  oyster-shop,  for  instance,  where  there  wasn't 

one  before — 
When  the  shop  begins  to  pay  you,  and  the  rent  is  off 

your  mind, 
You  will  see  another  started  by  a  chap  that  comes 

behind. 

211 


212  THE  MEN  WHO  COME  BEHIND 

So  it  is,  and  so  it  might  have  been,  my  friend,  with 

me  and  you — 
When  a  friend  of  both  and  neither  interferes  between 

the  two ; 
They  will  fight  like  fiends,  forgetting  in  their  passion 

mad  and  blind, 
That  the  row  is  mostly  started  by  the  folk  who  come 

behind. 

They  will   stick  to  you   like   sin   will,    while   your 

money  comes  and  goes, 
But  they'll  leave  you  when  you  haven't  got  a  shilling 

in  your  clothes. 
You  may  get  some  help  above  you,  but  you'll  nearly 

always  find 
That  you  cannot  get  assistance  from  the  men  who 

come  behind. 

There  are  many,  far  too  many,  in  the  world  of  prose 

and  rhyme, 
Always  looking  for  another's  '  footsteps  on  the  sands 

of  time.' 

J  ournalistic  imitators  are  the  meanest  of  mankind  ; 
And  the  grandest  themes  are  hackneyed  by  the  pens 

that  come  behind. 


THE  MEN  WHO  COME  BEHIND  213 

If  you  strike  a  novel  subject,  write  it  up,  and  do  not  fail, 

They  will  rhyme  and  prose  about  it  till  your  very  own 
is  stale, 

As  they  raved  about  the  region  that  the  wattle- 
boughs  perfume 

Till  the  reader  cursed  the  bushman  and  the  stink  of 
wattle-bloom. 

They   will    follow    in    your   footsteps   while  you're 

groping  for  the  light ; 
But  they'll  run  to  get  before  you  when  they  see  you're 

going  right ; 
And  they'll  trip  you  up  and  baulk  you  in  their  blind 

and  greedy  heat, 
Like  a  stupid  pup  that  hasn't  learned  to  trail  behind 

your  feet. 

Take  your  loads  of  sin  and  sorrow  on  more  energetic 

backs ! 
Go  and  strike  across  the  country  where  there  are  not 

any  tracks  ! 
And— we  fancy   that  the  subject  could  be  further 

treated  here, 
But  we'll  leave  it  to  be  hackneyed  by  the  fellows  in 

the  rear. 


THE  DAYS  WHEN  WE  WENT  SWIMMING 

THE  breezes  waved  the  silver  grass, 

Waist-high  along  the  siding, 
And  to  the  creek  we  ne'er  could  pass 

Three  boys  on  bare-back  riding  ; 
Beneath  the  sheoaks  in  the  bend 

The  waterhole  was  brimming — 
Do  you  remember  yet,  old  friend, 

The  times  we  '  went  in  swimming  ? ' 

The  days  we  *  played  the  wag  '  from  school — 

Joys  shared — and  paid  for  singly — 
The  air  was  hot,  the  water  cool — 

And  naked  boys  are  kingly  ! 
With  mud  for  soap  the  sun  to  dry — 

A  well  planned  lie  to  stay  us, 
And  dust  well  rubbed  on  neck  and  face 

Lest  cleanliness  betray  us. 

214 


THE  DAYS  WHEN  WE  WENT  SWIMMING    215 

And  you'll  remember  farmer  Kutz  — 

Though  scarcely  for  his  bounty — 
He  leased  a  forty -acre  block, 

And  thought  he  owned  the  county  ; 
A  farmer  of  the  old  world  school, 

That  men  grew  hard  and  grim  in, 
He  drew  his  water  from  the  pool 

That  we  preferred  to  swim  in. 

And  do  you  mind  when  down  the  creek 

His  angry  way  he  wended, 
A  green-hide  cartwhip  in  his  hand 

For  our  young  backs  intended  ? 
Three  naked  boys  upon  the  sand — 

Half  buried  and  half  sunning — 
Three  startled  boys  without  their  clothes 

Across  the  paddocks  running. 

We've  had  some  scares,  but  we  looked  blank 

When,  resting  there  and  chumming, 
One  glanced  by  chance  along  the  bank 

And  saw  the  farmer  coming  ! 
And  home  impressions  linger  yet 

Of  cups  of  sorrow  brimming ; 
I  hardly  think  that  we'll  forget 

The  last  day  we  went  swimming. 


THE   OLD   BARK  SCHOOL 

IT  was  built  of  bark  and  poles,  and  the  floor  was  full 

of  holes 

Where  each  leak  in  rainy  weather  made  a  pool ; 
And  the  walls  were  mostly  cracks  lined  with  calico 

and  sacks — 
There  was  little  need  for  windows  in  the  school. 


Then  we  rode  to  school  and  back  by  the  rugged  gully 

track, 

On  the  old  grey  horse  that  carried  three  or  four  ; 
And  he  looked  so  very  wise  that  he  lit  the  master's 

eyes 
Every  time  he  put  his  head  in  at  the  door. 

216 


THE  OLD  BARK  SCHOOL  217 

He  had  run  with  Cobb  and  Co. — '  that  grey  leader, 

let  him  go  ! ' 
There  were  men  'as  knowed  the  brand  upon  his 

hide,' 

And  :  as  knowed  it  on  the  course '         .     Funeral  ser- 
vice :  '  Good  old  horse  !  ' 
When  we  burnt  him  in  the  gully  where  he  died. 


And   the   master   thought   the   same.      'Twas   from 

Ireland  that  he  came, 
Where  the  tanks  are  full  all  summer,  and  the  feed 

is  simply  grand ; 
And  the  joker  then  in  vogue  said  his  lessons  wid  a 

brogue  — 

'Twas  unconscious  imitation,  let  the  reader  under- 
stand. 


And  we  learnt  the  world  in  scraps  from  some  ancient 

dingy  maps 

Long  discarded  by  the  public-schools  in  town  ; 
And  as  nearly  every  book  dated   back  to    Captain 

Cook 
Our  geography  was  somewhat  upside-down. 


218  THE  OLD  BARK  SCHOOL 

It  was  'in  the  book '  and  so — well,  at  that  we'd  let  it 

g°> 

For  we  never  would  believe  that  print  could  lie ; 
And  we  all  learnt  pretty  soon  that  when  we  came  out 

at  noon 
'  The  sun  is  in  the  south  part  of  the  sky.' 

And  Ireland  !  that  was  known  from  the  coast  line  to 

Athlone : 
We  got  little  information  re  the  land  that  gave  us 

birth ; 
Save  that  Captain  Cook  was  killed  (and  was  very 

likely  grilled) 

And  '  the  natives  of  New  Holland  are  the  lowest 
race  on  earth.' 

And  a  woodcut,  in  its  place,  of  the  same  degraded 

race 

Seemed  a  lot  more  like  a  camel  than  the  black- 
fellows  we  knew ; 
Jimmy  Bullock,  with  the  rest,  scratched  his  head  and 

gave  it  best ; 

But   his   faith  was  sadly  shaken   by  a   bobtailed 
kangaroo. 


THE  OLD  BARK  SCHOOL  219 

But  the  old  bark-school  is  gone,  and  the  spot  it  stood 

upon 
Is  a  cattle-camp  in  winter  where  the  curlew's  cry 

is  heard  ; 
There's  a  brick-school  on  the  flat,  but  a  schoolmate 

teaches  that, 

For,  about  the  time  the}'  built  it,  our  old  master 
was  '  transferred.' 

But  the  bark-school  comes  again  with  exchanges  'cross 

the  plain  — 
With  the  OUT-BACK  ADVERTISER  ;   and  my  fancy 

roams  at  large 

When  I  read  of  passing  stock,  of  a  western  mob  or  flock, 
With  '  James  Bullock,'  '  Grey,'  or  *  Henry  Dale  '  in 
charge. 

And  I  think  how  Jimmy  went  from  the  old  bark 

school  content, 
With  his  *  eddication  '  finished,  with  his  pack-horse 

after  him  ; 
And  perhaps  if  I  were  back  I  would  take  the  self-same 

track, 

For  I  wish  my  learning  ended  when  the   Master 
'  finished '  Jim. 


TROUBLE  ON  THE  SELECTION 

You  lazy  boy,  you're  here  at  last, 

You  must  be  wooden-legged  : 
Now.  are  you  sure  the  gate  is  fast 

And  all  the  sliprails  pegged 
And  all  the  milkers  at  the  yard, 

The  calves  all  in  the  pen  1 
We  don't  want  Poley's  calf  to  suck 

His  mother  dry  again. 

And  did  you  mend  the  broken  rail 

And  make  it  firm  and  neat  ? 
I  s'pose  you  want  that  brindle  steer 

All  night  among  the  wheat. 
And  if  he  finds  the  lueerne  patch, 

He'll  stuff  his  belly  full; 
He'll  eat  till  he  gets  '  blown  '  on  that 

And  busts  like  Ryan's  bull. 


220 


TROUBLE  ON  THE  SELECTION  221 

Old  Spot  is  lost  ?     You'll  drive  me  mad, 

You  will,  upon  my  soul  ! 
She  might  be  in  the  boggy  swamps 

Or  down  a  digger's  hole. 
You  needn't  talk,  you  never  looked  ; 

You'd  find  her  if  you'd  choose, 
Instead  of  poking  'possum  logs 

And  hunting  kangaroos. 

How  came  your  boots  as  wet  as  muck  1 

You  tried  to  drown  the  ants  ! 
Why  don't  you  take  your  bluchers  off, 

Good  Lord,  he's  tore  his  pants  ! 
Your  father's  coming  home  to-night ; 

You'll  catch  it  hot,  you'll  see. 
Now  go  and  wash  your  filthy  face 

And  come  and  get  your  tea. 


THE   PROFESSIONAL  WANDERER 

WHEN  you've  knocked  about  the  country — been  away 

from  home  for  years  ; 
When  the   past,    by   distance   softened,    nearly  fills 

your  eyes  with  tears — 
You  are  haunted  oft,  wherever  or  however  you  may 

roam, 
By  a  fancy  that  you  ought  to  go  and  see  the  folks  at 

home. 
You  forget  the  family  quarrels — little  things  that 

used  to  jar — 
And  you  think   of   how   they'll    worry — how    they 

wonder  where  you  are ; 
You  will  think  you  served  them  badly,  and  your  own 

part  you'll  condemn, 
And  it   strikes  you  that  you'll  surely  be  a  novelty 

to  them, 


THE  PROFESSIONAL  WANDERER  223 

For  your  voice  has  somewhat  altered,   and  your  face 

has  somewhat  changed — 
And  your  views  of  men  and  matters  over  wider  fields 

have  ranged. 
Then  it's  time  to  save  your  money,  or  to  watch  it 

(how  it  goes  !) ; 
Then  it's  time  to  get  a  '  Gladstone '  and  a  decent  suit 

of  clothes ; 
Then  it's  time  to  practise  daily  with  a  hair- brush  and 

a  comb, 
Till  you  drop  in  unexpected  on  the  folks  and  friends 

at  home. 

When  you've  been  at  home  for  some  time,  and  the 

novelty's  worn  off, 
And  old  chums  no  longer  court  you,  and  your  friends 

begin  to  scoff ; 
When  4  the  girls  '  no  longer  kiss  you,  crying  *  Jack  ! 

how  you  have  changed  ! ' 
When  you're  stale  to  your  relations,  and  their  manner 

seems  estranged ; 
When   the  old  domestic   quarrels,  round   the   table 

thrice  a  day, 
Make  it  too  much  like  the  old  times — make  you  wish 

you'd  stayed  away, 


224  THE  PROFESSIONAL  WANDERER 

When,    in  short,   you've  spent  your   money  in   the 

fulness  of  your  heart, 
And  your  clothes  are  getting  shabby     .     .     .     Then 

it's  high  time  to  depart . 


A  LITTLE   MISTAKE 

'Tis  a  yarn  I  heard  of  a  new-chum 'trap ' 

On  the  edge  of  the  Never-Never, 
Where  the  dead  men  lie  and  the  black  men  lie, 

And  the  bushman  lies  for  ever. 

'Twas  the  custom  still  with  the  local  blacks 

To  cadge  in  the  '  altogether  ' — 
They  had  less  respect  for  our  feelings  then, 

And  more  respect  for  the  weather. 

The  trooper  said  to  the  sergeant's  wife  : 

*  Sure,  I  wouldn't  seem  unpleasant ; 
'  But  there's  women  and  childer  about  the  place, 

'  And — barrin'  a  lady's  present — 

'  There's  ould  King  Billy  wid  niver  a  stitch 

'  For  a  month — may  the  drought  cremate  him  ! — 

*  Bar  the  wan  we  put  in  his  dhirty  head, 
1  Where  his  old  Queen  Mary  bate  him. 

225 


226  A  LITTLE  MISTAKE 

'  God  give  her  strength  !— and  a  peaceful  reign — 
'  Though  she  flies  in  a  bit  av  a  passion 

*  If  ony  wan  hints  that  her  shtoyle  an'  luks 

c  Are  a  trifle  behind  the  fashion. 

'  There's  two  of  the  boys  by  the  stable  now — 
'  Be  the  powers  !  I'll  teach  the  varmints 

*  To  come  wid  nought  but  a  shirt  apiece, 

1  And  wid  dirt  for  their  nay ther  garmints. 

'  Howld  on,  ye  blaggards  !     How  dare  ye  dare 

*  To  come  widin  sight  av  the  houses  ? — 
c  I'll  give  ye  a  warnin'  all  for  wance 

*  An'  a  couple  of  ould  pair  of  trousers.' 

They  took  the  pants  as  a  child  a  toy, 

The  constable's  words  beguiling 
A  smile  of  something  beside  their  joy  ; 

And  they  took  their  departure  smiling. 

And  that  very  day,  when  the  sun  was  low, 
Two  blackfellows  came  to  the  station  ; 

They  were  filled  with  the  courage  of  Queensland  rum 
And  bursting  with  indignation. 


A  LITTLE  MISTAKE  227 

The  constable  noticed,  with  growing  ire, 
They'd  apparently  dressed  in  a  hurry  ; 

And  their  language  that  day,  I  am  sorry  to  say, 
Mostly  consisted  of  '  plurry.' 

The  constable  heard,  and  he  wished  himself  back 
In  the  land  of  the  bogs  and  the  ditches — 

'  You  plurry  big  tight-britches  p'liceman,  what  for 
'  You  gibbit  our  missuses  britches  1 ' 

And  this  was  a  case,  I  am  bound  to  confess, 

Where  civilisation  went  under  ; 
Had  one  of  the  gins  been  less  modest  in  dress 

He'd  never  have  made  such  a  blunder. 

And  here  let  the  moral  be  duly  made  known, 

And  hereafter  signed  and  attested  : 
We  should  place  more  reliance  on  that  which  is  shown 

And  less  upon  what  is  suggested. 


A  STUDY  IN  THE  "  NOOD 


'  A  SAILOR  named  Grice  was  seen  by  the  guard  of  a  goods 
train  lying  close  to  the  railway-line  near  Warner  Town  (S.A.) 
in  a  nude  condition.  He  was  unconscious,  and  had  lain  there 
three  days,  during  one  of  which  the  glass  registed  110  in 
the  shade.  Grice,  expressed  surprise  that  the  train  did  not 
pick  him  up.' — Daily  paper.  In  consequence,  the  muse  : — 

HE  was  bare — we  don't  want  to  be  rude — 
(His  condition  was  owing  to  drink) 

They  say  his  condition  was  nood, 

Which  amounts  to  the  same  thing,  we  think 
(We  mean  his  condition,  we  think, 

'Twas  a  naked  condition,  or  nood, 

Which  amounts  to  the  same  thing,  we  think) 

Uncovered  he  lay  on  the  grass 

That  shrivelled  and  shrunk  ;  and  he  stayed 
Three  hot  summer  days,  while  the  glass 

Was  one  hundred  and  ten  in  the  shade. 

228 


A  STUDY  IN  THE  "NOOD"  229 

(We  nearly  remarked  that  he  laid, 
But  that  was  bad  grammar  we  thought — 

It  does  sound  bucolic,  we  think 

It  smacks  of  the  barnyard — 
Of  farming — of  pullets  in  short.) 

Unheeded  he  lay  on  the  dirt ; 

Beside  him  a  part  of  his  dress, 
A  tattered  and  threadbare  old  shirt 

Was  raised  as  a  flag  of  distress. 
(On  a  stick,  like  a  flag  of  distress — 
Reversed — we  mean  that  the  tail-end  was  up 

Half-mast — on   a   stick — an    evident    flag   of 
distress.) 


Perhaps  in  his  dreams  he  persood 

Bright  visions  of  heav'nly  bliss ; 
And  artists  who  study  the  nood 

Never  saw  such  a  study  as  this. 
The  *  luggage '  went  by  and  the  guard 

Looked  out  and  his  eyes  fell  on  Grice — 
We  fancy  he  looked  at  him  hard, 

We  think  that  he  looked  at  him  twice. 


230  A  STUDY  IN  THE  "NOOD" 

They  say  (if  the  telegram's  true) 

When  he  woke  up  he  wondered  (good  Lord  !) 
4  Why  the  engine-man  didn't  heave  to — 

1  Why  the  train  didn't  take  him  aboard.' 
And  now,  by  the  case  of  poor  Grice, 

We  think  that  a  daily  express 
Should  travel  with  sunshades  and  ice, 

And  a  lookout  for  flags  of  distress. 


A  WORD   TO   TEXAS  JACK 

TEXAS  JACK,  you  are  amusin'.     By  Lord  Harry,  how 

I  laughed 
When  I  seen  yer  rig  and  saddle  with  its  bulwarks 

fore-and-aft ; 
Holy  smoke  !  In  such  a  saddle  how  the  dickens  can 

yer  fall  1 
Why,  I  seen  a  gal  ride  bareback  with  no  bridle  on  at 

all! 
Gosh !     so-help-me !     strike-me-balmy !     if    a  bit  o' 

scenery 

Like  ter  you  in  all  yer  rig-out  on  the  earth  I  ever  see ! 
How  I'd  like  ter  see  a  bushman  use  yer  fixins,  Texas 

Jack  ; 
On  the  remnant  of  a  saddle  he  can  ride  to  hell  and 

back. 


232  A   WORD  TO  TEXAS  JACK 

Why,  I  heerd  a  mother  screamin'  when  her  kid  went 

tossin'  by 
Ridin'  bareback  on  a  bucker  that  had  murder  in  his 

eye. 

What  1    yer  come  to  learn  the  natives  how  to  squat 

on  horse's  back  ! 
Learn  the  cornstalk  ridin' !  Blazes ! — w'at  yer  giv'n'  us, 

Texas  Jack  1 
Learn    the    cornstalk — what    the   flamin',  jump  tup ! 

where's  my  country  gone  1 
Why,  the  cornstalk's  mother  often  rides  the  day  afore 

he's  born  ! 

You  may  talk  about  your  ridin'  in  the  city,  bold  an' 

free, 
Talk  o'  ridin'  in  the  city,  Texas  Jack,  but  where'd  yer 

be 
When   the   stock    horse   snorts   an'   bunches   all   'is 

quarters  in  a  hump, 
And  the  saddle  climbs  a  sapling,  an'  the  horse-shoes 

split  a  stump  1 

No,  before  yer  teach  the  native  you  must  ride  without 

a  fall 
Up  a  gum  or  down  a  gully  nigh  as  steep  as  any  wall — 


A   WORD  TO   TEXAS  JACK  233 

You  must  swim  the  roarin'  Darlin'  when  the  flood  is 

at  its  height 
Bearin'   down   the  stock   an'   stations   to  the  great 

Australian  Bight. 

You  can't  count  the  bulls  an'  bisons  that  yer  copped 

with  your  lassoo — 
But  a  stout  old  myall  bullock  p'raps  'ud  learn   yer 

somethin'  new ; 
Yer'd  better  make  yer  will  an'  leave  yer  papers  neat 

an'  trim 
Before  yer  make  arrangements  for  the  lassooin'   of 

him  ; 
Ere  you'n'  yer  horse  is  catsmeat,  fittin'  fate  for  sich 

galoots, 
And  yer  saddle's  turned  to  laces  like  we  put  in  blucher 

boots. 

And  yer  say  yer  death  on  In j  ins  !  We've  got  some- 
thin'  in  yer  line — 

If  yer  think  your  fitin's  ekal  to  the  likes  of  Tommy 
Ryan. 

Take  yer  karkass  up  to  Queensland  where  the  ally- 
gators  chew 

And  the  carpet-snake  is  handy  with  his  tail  for  a 
lassoo ; 


234  A   WORD  TO  TEXAS  JACK 

Ride  across  the  hazy  regins  where  the  lonely  emus 

wail 
An'  ye'll  find  the  black'll  track  yer  while  yer  lookin' 

for  his  trail ; 
He  can  track  yer  without  stoppin'  for  a  thousand  miles 

or  more — 
Come  again,  and  he  will  show  yer  where  yer  spit  the 

year  before. 
But  yer'd  best  be  mighty  careful,  you'll  be  sorry  you 

kem  here 
When  yer  skewered  to  the  fakements  of  yer  saddle 

with  a  spear — 
When  the  boomerang  is  sailin'  in  the  air,  may  heaven 

help  yer  ! 
It  will  cut  yer  head  off  goin',  an'  come  back  again  and 

skelp  yer. 


P.S. — As  poet  and  as  Yankee  I  will  greet  you,  Texas 

Jack, 

For  it  isn't  no  ill-feelin'  that  is  gettin'  up  my  back, 
But  I  won't  see  this  land  crowded  by  each  Yank  and 

British  cuss 
Who  takes  it  in  his  head  to  come  a-civilisin'  us. 


A  WORD  TO  TEXAS   JACK  235 

So  if  you  feel  like  shootin'  now,  don't  let  yer  pistol 

cough — 

(Our  Government  is  very  free  at  chokin'  fellers  off)  ; 
And  though  on  your  great  continent  there's  misery  in 

the  towns 
An'  not  a  few  untitled  lords  and  kings  without  their 

crowns, 

I  will  admit  your  countrymen  is  busted  big,  an'  free, 
An'  great  on  ekal  rites  of  men  and  great  on  liberty  ; 
I  will  admit  yer  fathers  punched  the  gory  tyrant's 

head, 
But  then  we've  got  our  heroes,  too,  the  diggers  that 

is  dead  — 
The  plucky  men  of   Ballarat   who  toed  the  scratch 

right  well 
And  broke  the  nose  of  Tyranny  and  made  his  peepers 

swell 
For  yankin'   Lib.'s  gold    tresses  in  the  roarin'  days 

gone  by, 

An'  doublin'  up  his  dirty  fist  to  black  her  bonny  eye ; 
So  when  it  comes  to  ridin'  mokes,  or  hoistin'  out  the 

Chow, 
Or   stickin'  up   for   labour's   rights,  we  don't   want 

showin'  how. 


236  A  WORD  TO  TEXAS  JACK 

They  come  to  learn  us  cricket  in  the  days  of  long  ago, 
An'  Hanlan  coine  from  Canada  to  learn  us  how  to 

row, 
An'  '  doctors  '  come  from  'Frisco  just  to  learn  us  how 

to  skite, 
An'  '  pugs '  from  all  the  lands  on  earth  to  learn  us 

how  to  fight ; 
An'  when  they  go,  as  like  or  not,  we  find  we're  taken 

in, 
They've  left  behind  no  larnin' — but  they've  carried 

off  our  tin. 


THE  GROG-AN'-GRUMBLE  STEEPLECHASE 

'TwixT  the  coastline  and  the  border  lay  the  town  of 

Grog-an'-Grum  ble 
In  the  days  before  the  bushman  was  a  dull  'n' 

heartless  drudge, 

An'  they  say  the  local  meeting  was  a  drunken  rough- 
and-tumble, 
Which  was  ended  pretty  often  by  an  inquest  on  the 

judge. 
An'  'tis  said  the   city  talent  very   often   caught   a 

tartar 
In  the    Grog-an'-Grumble  sportsman,    'n'    retired 

with  broken  heads, 
For   the  fortune,   life,   and  safety   of  the   Grog-an'- 

Gruinble  starter 

Mostly  hung  upon  the  finish  of  the  local  thorough- 
breds. 


238    THE  GROG-AN'-GRUMBLE  STEEPLECHASE 

Pat  M'Durmer  was  the  owner  of  a  horse  they  called 

the  Screamer, 
Which  he  called  the  '  quickest  shtepper  'twixt  the 

Darling  and  the  sea ;' 

And   I   think   it's   very    doubtful   if    the   stomach- 
troubled  dreamer 
Ever   saw   a   more    outrageous    piece    of    equine 

scenery ; 
For  his  points  were  most  decided,  from  his  end  to  his 

beginning, 
He  had  eyes  of  different  colour,  and  his  legs  they 

wasn't  mates. 
Pat  M'Durmer  said  he  always  came  '  widin  a  flip  av 

winning ' 

An'  his  sire  had  come  from  England,  'n'  his  dam 
was  from  the  States. 

Friends  would  argue  with  M'Durmer,  and  they  said 

he  was  in  error 
To  put  up  his  horse  the  Screamer,  for  he'd  lose  in 

any  case, 
And  they  said  a  city  racer  by  the  name  of  Holy 

Terror 

Was  regarded  as  the  winner  of  the  coming  steeple- 
chase ; 


THE  GROG-AN'-GRUMBLE  STEEPLECHASE   239 

But  he  said  he  had  the  knowledge  to  come  in  when 

it  was  raining, 
And  irrelevantly  mentioned  that  he  knew  the  time 

of  day, 
So  he  rose  in  their  opinion.     It  was  noticed  that  the 

training 

Of    the    Screamer    was    conducted    in    a    dark, 
mysterious  way. 

Well,  the  day  arrived  in  glory;  'twas  a  day  of  jubila- 
tion 
With  careless-hearted  bushmen  for  a  hundred  miles 

around, 
An'  the  rum  'n'  beer  'n'  whisky  came  in  waggons  from 

the  station, 
An'  the  Holy  Terror  talent  were  the  first  upon  the 

ground. 
Judge  M'Ard — with  whose  opinion  it  was  scarcely 

safe  to  wrestle — 
Took  his  dangerous  position  on  the  bark-and-sapling 

stand  : 
He  was  what  the  local  Stiggins  used  to  speak  of  as  a 

*  wessel 

*  Of  wrath,'  and  he'd  a  bludgeon  that  he  carried  in 
his  hand. 


240    THE  GROG-AN'-GRUMBLE  STEEPLECHASE 

1  Off  ye  go  !'  the  starter  shouted,  as  down  fell  a  stupid 

jockey- 
Off  they  started  in  disorder — left  the  jockey  where 

he  lay — 
And  they  fell   and   rolled  and   galloped   down   the 

crooked  course  and  rocky, 
Till  the  pumping  of  the  Screamer  could  be  heard  a 

mile  away. 
But  he  kept  his  legs  and  galloped  ;  he  was  used  to 

rugged  courses, 
And  he  lumbered  down  the  gully  till  the   ridge 

began  to  quake  : 
And  he  ploughed  along  the  siding,  raising  earth  till 

other  horses 

An'  their  riders,  too,  were  blinded   by   the  dust- 
cloud  in  his  wake. 

From   the   ruck   he'd   struggled   slowly — they    were 

much  surprised  to  find  him 
Close  abeam  of  Holy  Terror  as  along  the  flat  they 

tore — 
Even  higher  still  and  denser  rose  the  cloud  of  dust 

behind  him, 

While  in  more  divided  splinters  flew  the  shattered 
rails  before. 


THE  GROG-AN'-GRUMBLE  STEEPLECHASE    241 

'  Terror  !'     '  Dead     heat !'     they     were     shouting — 

1  Terror  !'  but  the  Screamer  hung  out 
Nose  to  nose  with  Holy  Terror  as  across  the  creek 

they  swung, 
An'  M'Durmer  shouted  loudly,  '  Put  yer  tongue  out ! 

put  yer  tongue  out !' 

An'   the  Screamer  put  his  tongue  out,  and  he  won 
by  half-a-tongue. 


BUT  WHAT'S  THE   USE 

BUT  what's  the  use  of  writing  c  bush  ' — 

Though  editors  demand  it — 
For  city  folk,  and  farming  folk, 

Can  never  understand  it. 
They're  blind  to  what  the  bushman  sees 

The  best  with  eyes  shut  tightest, 
Out  where  the  sun  is  hottest  and 

The  stars  are  most  and  brightest. 

The  crows  at  sunrise  flopping  round 

Where  some  poor  life  has  run  down ; 
The  pair  of  emus  trotting  from 

The  lonely  tank  at  sundown, 
Their  snaky  heads  well  up,  and  eyes 

Well  out  for  man's  manoeuvres, 
And  feathers  bobbing  round  behind 

Like  fringes  round  improvers. 

242 


BUT  WHAT'S  THE  USE  243 

The  swagman  tramping  'cross  the  plain ; 

Good  Lord,  there's  nothing  sadder, 
Except  the  dog  that  slopes  behind 

His  master  like  a  shadder  ; 
The  turkey-tail  to  scare  the  flies, 

The  water-bag  and  billy ; 
The  nose-bag  getting  cruel  light, 

The  traveller  getting  silly. 
The  plain  that  seems  to  Jackaroos 

Like  gently  sloping  rises, 
The  shrubs  and  tufts  that's  miles  away 

But  magnified  in  sizes  ; 
The  track  that  seems  arisen  up 

Or  else  seems  gently  slopin', 
And  just  a  hint  of  kangaroos 

Way  out  across  the  open. 
The  joy  and  hope  the  swagman  feels 

Returning,  after  shearing, 
Or  after  six  months'  tramp  Out  Back, 

He  strikes  the  final  clearing. 
His  weary  spirit  breathes  again, 

His  aching  legs  seem  limber 
When  to  the  East  across  the  plain 

He  spots  the  Darling  Timber  ! 


244  BUT  WHAT'S  THE  USE 

But  what's  the  use  of  writing  « bush ' — 

Though  editors  demand  it — 
For  city  folk  and  cockatoos, 

They  do  not  understand  it. 
They're  blind  to  what  the  whaler  sees 

The  best  with  eyes  shut  tightest, 
Out  where  Australia's  widest,  and 

The  stars  are  most  and  brightest. 


JULY,  1905 


LIST  OF   BOOKS 

PUBLISHED  BY 

ANGUS  &  ROBERTSON 

89  CASTLEREAGH  STREET,  SYDNEY 


SOLO  IN  ENGLAND  BY 

THE  AUSTRALIAN  BOOK  COMPANY 

88  WEST  SMITHFIELD,  LONDON,  E.C. 


THE  COMMONWEALTH  SERIES 

Crown  8vo.,  Is.  each  (post  free  h.  3d.  each}. 

JOE  WILSON  :  New  Stories.  By  HENRY  LA  WSON 

JOE  WILSON'S  MATES :  New  Stories.    By  HENRY  LA  WSON 
ON  THE  TRACK  :  Stories.  By  HENRY  LA  WSON 


OVER  THE  SLIPRAILS  :  Stories.        By  HENRY  LA  WSON 
POPULAR  VERSES.  By  HENRY  LA  WSON 


HUMOROUS  VERSES.  By  HENRY  LA  WSON 

WHILE  THE  BILLY  BOILS  :  Australian  Stories. 

First  Series.    By  HENRY  LAW  SON 

WHILE  THE  BILLY  BOILS  :  Australian  Stories. 

Second  Series.    By  HENRY  LA  WSON 

MY  CHINEE  COOK  AND  OTHER  HUMOROUS  VERSES. 

By  BRUXTON  STEPHENS 

HISTORY  OF  AUSTRALASIA  :  From  the  Earliest  Times  to 
the  Inauguration  of  the  Commonwealth. 

By  A.    W.  JOSE 

HISTORY  OF  AUSTRALIAN  BUSHRANGING. 

By  CHARLES  WHITE 

PART       I. — THE  EARLY  DAYS. 

PART  II.— 1850   TO   1862. 

PART  III.— 1863   TO    1869. 

PART  IV.— 1869   TO    1878. 


*#*  For  press  notices  of  these  books  see  the  cloth-bound  editions 
on  pages  3,  4,  5,  7,  10,  15,  and  18  of  this  catalogue. 


JOE  WILSON  AND  HIS  MATES. 

BY  HENRY  LAWSON,  Author  of  "  While  the  Billy 
Boils";  "When  the  World  was  Wide  and  Other 
Verses  "  ;  "  Verses,  Popular  and  Humorous  " ;  "  On 
the  Track  and  Over  the  Sliprails." 

Crown  8 vo,  cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.  (post  Jree  4s.)  ; 
in  paper  covers,  2s.  6d.  (post  free  3s.) 

For  Cheaper  Edition  see  Commonwealth  Series,  page  2. 

The  Athenaeum  (London)  :  "  This  is  a  long  way 
the  best  work  Mr.  Lawson  has  yet  given  us.  These 
stories  are  so  good  that  (from  the  literary  point 
of  view,  of  course)  one  hopes  they  are  not  auto- 
biographical. As  autobiography  they  would  be  good  ; 
as  pure  fiction  they  are  more  of  an  attainment/' 

The  Argus :  "  More  tales  of  the  Joe  Wilson  series 
are  promised,  and  this  will  be  gratifying  to  Mr. 
Lawson' s  admirers,  for  on  the  whole  the  sketches  are 
the  best  work  the  writer  has  so  far  accomplished." 

The  Academy  :  "  I  have  never  read  anything  in 
modern  English  literature  that  is  so  absolutely  demo- 
cratic in  tone,  so  much  the  real  thing,  as  Joe  Wilson's 
Courtship  ;  and  so  with  all  Lawson's  tales  and  sketches. 
Tolstoy  and  Howells,  and  Whitman  and  Kipling,  and 
Zola  and  Hauptmanu  and  Gorky  have  all  written 
descriptions  of  '  democratic '  life,  but  none  of  these 
celebrated  authors,  not  even  Maupassant  himself,  has 
so  absolutely  taken  us  inside  the  life  as  do  the  tales 
Joe  Wilson's  Courtship  and  A  Double  Buggy  at  Lahey's 
Creek,  and  it  is  this  rare  convincing  tone  of  this 
Australian  writer  that  gives  him  a  great  value.  The 
most  casual  'newspapery'  and  apparently  artless  art 
of  this  Australian  writer  carries  with  it  a  truer,  finer, 
more  delicate  commentary  on  life  than  all  the  idealistic 
works  of  any  of  our  genteel  school  of  writers/' 


ON  THE  TRACK  AND  OVER 
THE  SLIPRAILS. 

STORIES  BY  HENRY  LAWSON,  Author  of  "  While 
the  Billy  Boils,"  "Joe  Wilson  and  his  Mates," 
"When  the  World  Was  Wide  and  Other  Verses," 
and  "Verses,  Popular  and  Humorous." 


Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.  (fwstfree  4s.). 

For  Cheaper  Edition  see  Commonwealth  Series,  page  9. 

Daily  Chronicle  :  "  Will  well  sustain  the  reputation 
its  author  has  already  won  as  the  best  writer  of 
Australian  short  stories  and  sketches  the  literary 
world  knows.  Henry  Lawson  has  the  art,  possessed 
in  such  eminent  degree  by  Mr.  J.  M.  Barrie,  of 
sketching  in  a  character  and  suggesting  a  whole 
life-story  in  a  single  sentence." 

Pall  Mall  Gazette  :  "  The  volume  now  received  will 
do  much  to  enhance  the  author's  reputation.  There 
is  all  the  quiet  irresistible  humour  of  Dickens  in  the 
description  of  '  The  Darling  E/iver/  and  the  creator  of 
1  Truthful  James  '  never  did  anything  better  in  the  way 
of  character  sketches  than  Steelman  and  Mitchell. 
Mr.  Lawson  has  a  master's  sense  of  what  is  dramatic, 
and  he  can  bring  out  strong  effects  in  a  few  touches. 
Humour  and  pathos,  comedy  and  tragedy,  are  equally 
at  his  command." 

Glasgow  Herald  :  "  Mr.  Lawson  must  now  be 
regarded  as  facile  princeps  in  the  production  of  the 
short  tale.  Some  of  these  brief  and  even  slight 
sketches  are  veritable  gems  that  would  be  spoiled  by 
an  added  word,  and  without  a  word  that  can  be  looked 
upon  as  superfluous." 

Melbourne  Punch  :  "  Often  the  little  stories  are 
wedges  cut  clean  out  of  life,  and  presented  with 
artistic  truth  and  vivid  colour." 


WHILE  THE  BILLY  BOILS. 

STORIES  BY  HENRY  LAWSON,  Author  o!  "When 
the  World  Was  Wide -and  Other  Verses,"  "Joe 
Wilson  and  his  Mates,"  "On  the  Track  and  Over 
the  Sliprails,"  and  "Verses,  Popular  and  Humorous." 

Twenty-third  Thousand.  With  eight  plates 
and  vignette  title,  by  P.  P.  Mahony.  Crown 
8vo,  cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.  (post  free  4s.). 

For  Cheaper  Edition  see  Commomcealth  Series,  page  2. 

The  Academy  :  ' '  A  book  of  honest,  direct,  sympa- 
thetic,, humorous  writing  about  Australia  from  within 
is  worth  a  library  of  travellers'  tales.  .  .  .  The 
result  is  a  real  book — a  book  in  a  hundred.  His 
language  is  terse,  supple,  and  richly  idiomatic.  He 
can  tell  a  yarn  with  the  best." 

Literature  :  "  A  book  which  Mrs.  Campbell  Praed 
assured  me  made  her  feel  that  all  she  had  written  of 
bush  life  was  pale  and  ineffective." 

The  Spectator  :  "  It  is  strange  that  one  we  would 
venture  to  call  the  greatest  Australian  writer  should 
be  practically  unknown  in  England.  Mr.  Lawson 
is  a  less  experienced  writer  than  Mr.  Kipling,  and 
more  unequal,  but  there  are  two  or  three  sketches  in 
this  volume  which  for  vigour  and  truth  can  hold  their 
own  with  even  so  great  a  rival." 

The  Times  :  "  A  collection  of  short  and  vigorous 
studies  and  stories  of  Australian  life  and  character. 
A  little  in  Bret  Harte's  manner,  crossed,  perhaps,  with 
that  of  Guy  de  Maupassant." 

The  Scotsman  :  "  There  is  no  lack  of  dramatic 
imagination  in  the  construction  of  the  tales ;  and  the 
best  of  them  contrive  to  construct  a  strong  sensational 
situation  in  a  couple  of  pages." 


WHEN  THE  WORLD  WAS  WIDE 
AND  OTHER  VERSES. 

BY  HENRY  LA WSON,  Author  of  "  While  the  Billy 
Boils,"  "Joe  Wilson  and  his  Mates,"  "On  the 
Track  and  Over  the  Sliprails,"  and  "  Verses,  Popular 
and  Humorous." 

Twelfth  Thousand.  With  photogravure 
portrait  and  vignette  title.  Crown  8vo, 
cloth  gilt,  gilt  top,  5s.  (post  free  5s.  5d.). 

Presentation  edition.,  French  Morocco,  gilt  edges,  9s. 

The  Speaker  (LONDON)  :  "  There  are  poems  in  '  In 
the  Days  when  the  World  was  Wide  '  which  are  of  a 
higher  mood  than  any  yet  heard  in  distinctively  Aus- 
tralian poetry." 

The  Academy  :  "These ballads  (for  such  they  mostly 
are)  abound  in  spirit  and  manhood,  in  the  colour  and 
smell  of  Australian  soil.  They  deserve  the  popularity 
which  they  have  won  in  Australia,  and  which,  we 
trust,  this  edition  will  now  give  them  in  England." 

Newcastle  Weekly  Chronicle :  "  Swinging,  rhyth- 


Sydney  Morning-  Herald:  "The  verses  have 
natural  vigour,  the  writer  has  a  rough,  true  faculty 
of  characterisation,  and  the  book  is  racy  of  the  soil 
from  cover  to  cover." 

Bulletin:  "How  graphic  he  is,  how  natural,  how 
true,  how  strong." 

OtagfO  Witness  :  "  It  were  well  to  have  such  books 
upon  our  shelves.  .  .  .  They  are  true  history." 

I 


VERSES:  POPULAR  AND 
HUMOROUS. 

By  HENRY  LAWSON,  Author  of  "When  the 
World  was  Wide,  and  Other  Verses,"  "Joe  Wilson 
and  His  Mates,"  "  On  the  Track  and  Over  the  Slip- 
rails,"  and  «  While  the  Billy  Boils." 

Crown   8vo,   cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.     (post  free  4s.). 

For  Cheaper  Edition  see  Commonwealth  Series,  page  2. 

FEANCIS  THOMPSON,  in  The  Daily  Chronicle  :  "  He 
is  a  writer  of  strong  and  ringing  ballad  verse,  who 
gets  his  blows  straight  in,  and  at  his  best  makes  them 
all  tell.  He  can  vignette  the  life  he  knows  in  a  few 
touches,  and  in  this  book  shows  an  increased  power  of 
selection." 

Academy :  "  Mr.  Lawson's  work  should  be  well 
known  to  our  readers ;  for  we  have  urged  them  often 
enough  to  make  acquaintance  with  it.  He  has  the 
gift  of  movement,  and  ne  rarely  offers  a  loose  rhyme. 
Technically,  short  of  anxious  lapidary  work,  these 
verses  are  excellent.  He  varies  sentiment  and  humour 
very  agreeably." 

New  York  Evening  Journal :  "  Such  pride  as  a 
man  feels  when  he  has  true  greatness  as  his  guest, 
this  newspaper  feels  in  introducing  to  a  million 
readers  a  man  of  ability  hitherto  unknown  to  them. 
Henry  Lawson  is  his  name." 

The  Book  Lover  :  "  Any  book  of  Lawson's  should 
be  bought  and  treasured  by  all  who  care  for  the  real 
beginnings  of  Australian  literature.  As  a  matter  of 
fact,  he  is  the  one  Australian  literary  product,  in  any 
distinctive  sense." 


THE  MAN  FROM  SNOWY  RIVER 
AND  OTHER  VERSES. 

BY  A.   B.  PATERSON. 

Thirtieth  Thousand.  With  photogravure 
portrait  and  vignette  title.  Crown  8vo, 
cloth  gilt,  gilt  top,  5s.  (post  free  5s.  5d.). 

Presentation  edition,  French  Morocco,  yilt  edges,  9s. 

The  Literary  Year  Book:  "The  immediate 
success  of  this  book  of  bush  ballads  is  without  parallel 
in  Colonial  literary  annals,  nor  can  any  living  English 
or  American  poet  boast  so  wide  a  public,  always 
excepting  Mr.  Rudyard  Kipling." 

The  Times  :  "  At  his  best  he  compares  not  unfavour- 
ably with  the  author  of  ( Barrack  Room  Ballads.' ' 

Spectator  :  "  These  lines  have  the  true  lyrical  cry 
in  them.  Eloquent  and  ardent  verses/* 

Athenaeum  :  "  Swinging,  rattling  ballads  of  ready 

humour,    ready    pathos,    and    crowding    adventure. 

Stirring  and  entertaining  ballads  about  great 

rides,  in  which  the  lines  gallop  like  the  very  hoofs  of 

the  horses." 

Mr.  A.  PATCHETT  MARTIN,  in  Literature  (London)  : 
"  In  my  opinion  it  is  the  absolutely  un-English, 
thoroughly  Australian  style  and  character  of  these 
new  bush  bards  which  has  given  them  such  immediate 
popularity,  such  wide  vogue,  among  all  classes  of  the 
rising  native  generation." 

London:  Macmillan  <£  Co.,  Limited. 
8 


RIO  GRANGE'S  LAST  RACE  AND 
OTHER  VERSES. 

BY  A.   B.  PATERSON. 

Fifth  Thousand.      Crown  8vo,    cloth   gilt, 
gilt  top,  5s.  (post  free  5s.  5d.). 

Spectator  :  4f  There  is  no  mistaking  the  vigour  of 
Mr.  Paterson's  verse  ;  there  is  no  difficulty  in  feeling 
the  strong  human  interest  which  moves  in  it." 

Daily  Mail :  "  Every  way  worthy  of  the  man  who 
ranks  with  the  first  of  Australian  poets." 

Scotsman  :  "  At  once  naturalistic  and  imaginative, 
and  racy  without  being  slangy,  the  poems  have  always 
a  strong  human  interest  of  every-day  life  to  keep 
them  going.  They  make  a  book  which  should  give 
an  equal  pleasure  to  simple  and  to  fastidious  readers." 

Bookman  :  "  Now  and  again  a  deeper  theme,  like 
an  echo  from  the  older,  more  experienced  land,  leads 
him  to  more  serious  singing,  and  proves  that  real 
poetry  is,  after  all,  universal.  It  is  a  hearty  book." 

Daily  Chronicle  :  "  Mr.  Paterson  has  powerful  and 
varied  sympathies,  coupled  with  a  genuine  lyrical 
impulse,  and  some  skill,  which  make  his  attempts 
always  attractive  and  usually  successful." 

Glasgow  Herald  :  "  These  are  all  entertaining,  their 
rough  and  ready  wit  and  virility  of  expression  making 
them  highly  acceptable,  while  the  dash  of  satire  gives 
point  to  the  humour." 

London :  MacmiUan  &  Co. ,  Limited 
9 


THE  POETICAL  WORKS  OF 
BRUNTON  STEPHENS. 

New  edition,  with  photogravure  portrait. 
Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  gilt  top,  5s.  (post 
free  5s.  5d.\ 

See  also  Commonwealth  Series,  page  2. 

The  Times  (London) :  "  This  collection  of  the  works 
of  the  Queensland  poet,  who  has  for  a  generation 
deservedly  held  a  high  place  in  Australian  literature, 
well  deserves  study." 

The  Athenaeum:  "Brunton  Stephens,  ....  well 
known  to  all  those  who  are  curious  in  Australian 
literature,  as  being,  on  the  whole,  the  best  of 
Australian  poets/' 

Daily  News:  "In  turning  over  the  pages  of  this 
volume  one  is  struck  by  his  breadth,  his  versatility, 
his  compass,  as  evidenced  in  theme,  sentiment,  and 
style." 

St.  James'  Gazette :  "  This  substantial  volume  of 
verse  contains  a  great  deal  that  is  very  fresh  and 
pleasing,  whether  grave  or  gay." 

Manchester  Guardian  :  "  He  shows  a  capacity  for 
forceful  and  rhetorical  verse,  which  makes  a  fit 
vehicle  for  Imperial  themes/' 

Speaker  :  "  We  gladly  recognise  the  merit  of  much 
that  appears  in  The  Poetical  Works  of  Mr.  Brunton 

Stephens In  the  more  ambitious  pieces 

(and  in  these  the  author  is  most  successful)  he  models 
himself  on  good  masters,  and  his  strains  have  power 
and  dignity." 

10 


A  BUSH  GIRL'S  SONGS. 

By  'RENA  WALLACE. 

With  portrait.     Crown  8vo.,  cloth  gilt,  gilt 
top,  5s.  (post  free  5s.  4d.). 

Sydney  Daily  Telegraph .-  "  There  is  passion  as 
well  as  melody  in  '  A  Bush  Girl's  Songs  ' ;  and  there 
is  thought  also  —  real  thought,  that  underlies  the 
music  of  the  verse  and  gives  the  writer  something 
definite  to  communicate  to  her  readers  on  the  great 
universal  subjects  that  are  the  province  of  true  poetry, 
as  distinct  from  mere  verse.  One  cannot  help  remark- 
ing with  pleasure  the  prevailing  note  of  hopefulness, 
a  sunshiny  charm,  that  is  felt  throughout  all  this  fresh 
young  writer's  work.  Miss  'Rena  Wallace  knows  how 
to  be  pathetic  without  being  gloomy,  and  the  morbid 
pessimism,  which  marks  so  much  of  modern  verse,  is 
delightfully  absent." 

Wellington  (N.Z.)  Mail:  "  Endowed  with  a  musical 
ear,  and  gifted  with  a  facility  of  expression,  our 
authoress  has  woven  together  much  that  at  once 
strikes  the  ear  as  pleasing  and  musical  verse." 

Adelaide  Advertiser  :  "  There  is  melody  and  sweet- 
ness and  rhythm  in  them,  and  they  are  fresh  from 
nature's  school." 

11 


WINSLOW  PLAIN. 

By  SARAH  P.  McL.  GREENE,  Author  of  "  Flood- 
Tide,"  "  Vesty  of  the  Basins,"  <fec. 

Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  with  portrait,  3s.  6d. 
(post  free  4s.). 

Sydney  Daily  Telegraph :  "  It  is  brimful  of  actu- 
ality set  with  delicate  embroidery  of  imagination  and 
of  humour.  It  is  pervaded  by  boys  prankish,  irresis- 
tible, genuine." 

Melbourne  Age :  "  The  Studies  of  New  England 
Life  and  Character  presented  to  us  in  '  Winslow 
Plain '  are  fresh,  vigorous  and  original." 


FLOOD-TIDE. 

BY  SARAH  P.  McL.  GREENE,  Author  of  "  Vesty 
of  the  Basins,"  &c. 

Cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.  (post  free  4s.). 

The  Times  (MINNEAPOLIS)  :  "  For  gentle  humour 
that  steals  away  all  the  cares  and  worries  of  living,  I 
can  commend  this  book/' 


VESTY  OF  THE  BASINS. 

BY  SARAH  P.  McL  GREENE,  Author  of  «  Wins- 
low  Plain,"  &c. 

Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.  (post  free  4s.). 
12 


RHYMES  FROM  THE  MINES 
AND  OTHER  LINES. 

BY  EDWARD  DYSON,  Author  of  "A  Golden  Shanty.' 

Second  Thousand.  With  photogravure 
portrait  and  vignette  title.  Crown  8vo. 
cloth  gilt,  gilt  top,  5s.  (post  free  5s.  5d.). 

Presentation  edition,  French  Morocco,  gilt  edges,  9s. 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  THE  BUSH  FIRE 
AND  OTHER  AUSTRALIAN  FAIRY 
TALES. 

BY  J.  M.  WHITFELD. 

Second  Thousand.  With  32  illustrations 
by  G.  W.  Lambert.  Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt, 
2s.  6d.  (post  free  3s.). 

Sydney  Morning:  Herald :  "  It  is  frankly  written 
for  the  young  folks,  and  the  youngster  will  find  a 
delight  in  Miss  Whitfeld's  marvellous  company." 


PRESBYTERIAN  WOMEN'S 
MISSIONARY  ASSOCIATION 
COOKERY  BOOK. 

Eighth  Edition,  enlarged,  completing  the 
60th  Thousand.  Crown  8vo,  cloth,  Is. 
(post  free  Is.  3d.). 

13 


THE  GROWTH  OF  THE  EMPIRE. 

A  Handbook  to  the  History  of  Greater  Britain. 

BY  ARTHUR  W.  JOSE,  Author  of  "  A  Short  History 
of  Australasia." 

Second  Edition.     With  14  Maps.      Crown 
8vo,  cloth  gilt  5s.  (post  free  5s.  6d.). 

Morning  Post :  "This  book  is  published  in  Sydney, 
but  it  deserves  to  be  circulated  throughout  the  United 
Kingdom.  The  picture  of  the  fashion  in  which  British 
enterprise  made  its  way  from  settlement  to  settlement 
has  never  been  drawn  more  vividly  than  in  these  pages. 
Mr.  Jose's  style  is  crisp  and  pleasant,  now  and  then 
even  rising  to  eloquence  on  his  grand  theme.  His 
book  deserves  wide  popularity,  and  it  has  the  rare 
merit  of  being  so  written  as  to  be  attractive  alike  to 
the  young  student  and  to  the  mature  man  of  letters." 

Literature:  "He  has  studied  thoroughly,  and 
writes  vigorously.  .  .  .  Admirably  done.  .  .  . 
We  commend  it  to  Britons  the  world  over." 

Saturday  Review  :  "  He  writes  Imperially  ;  he  also 
often  writes  sympathetically.  .  .  .  We  cannot 
close  Mr.  Jose's  creditable  account  of  our  misdoings 
without  a  glow  of  national  pride." 

Yorkshire  Post :  "  A  brighter  short  history  we  do 
not  know,  and  this  book  deserves  for  the  matter  and 
the  manner  of  it  to  be  as  well  known  as  Mr. 
McCarthy's  <  History  of  Our  Own  Times/  " 

The  Scotsman :  "  This  admirable  work  is  a  solid 
octavo  of  more  than  400  pages.  It  is  a  thoughtful, 
well  written,  and  well-arranged  history.  There  are 
fourteen  excellent  maps  to  illustrate  the  text." 

14 


HISTORY  OF  AUSTRALASIA. 

From  the  Earliest  Times  to  the  Inauguration  of  the 
Commonwealth. 

BY  ARTHUR  W.  JOSE,  Author  of  "  The  Growth  of 
the  Empire."  The  chapter  on  Federation  revised  by 
R.  R.  Garran,  C.M.G. 

With  6  maps  and  64  portraits  and  illustra- 
tions. Crown  8vo,  cloth,  Is.  6d.  (post 
free  Is.  10d.). 

For  Cheaper  Edition  see  Commonwealth  Series,  page  9. 

The  Book  Lover :  "  The  ignorance  of  the  average 
Australian  youth  about  the  brief  history  of  his  native 
land  is  often  deplorable.  .  .  .  '  A  Short  History 
of  Australasia/  by  Arthur  W.  Jose,  just  provides  the 
thing  wanted.  Mr.  Jose's  previous  historical  work 
was  most  favourably  received  in  England,  and  this 
story  of  our  land  is  capitally  done.  It  is  not  too 
long,  and  it  is  brightly  written.  Its  value  is  consider- 
ably enhanced  by  the  useful  maps  and  interesting  illus- 
trations." 

Victorian  Education  Gazette:  "The  language  is 
graphic  and  simple,  and  there  is  much  evidence  of 
careful  work  and  acquaintance  with  original  docu- 
ments, which  give  the  reader  confidence  in  the 
accuracy  of  the  details.  The  low  price  of  the  book 
leaves  young  Australia  no  excuse  for  remaining  in 
ignorance  of  the  history  of  their  native  land." 

Town  and  Country  Journal:  "The  language  is 
graphic  and  simple,  and  he  has  maintained  the  unity 
and  continuity  of  the  story  of  events  despite  the 
necessity  of  following  the  subject  along  the  seven 
branches  corresponding  with  the  seven  separate 
colonies." 

15 


THE  GEOLOGY  OF  SYDNEY  AND 
THE  BLUE  MOUNTAINS. 

A  Popular  Introduction  to  the  Study  of  Australian 
Geology. 

BY  REV.  J.  MILNE  CURRAN,  late  Lecturer  in 
Chemistry  and  Geology,  Technical  College,  Sydney. 

Second  Edition.  With  a  Glossary  of  Scien- 
tific terms,  a  Reference  List  of  commonly- 
occurring  Fossils,  2  coloured  maps,  and  83 
illustrations.  Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  6s. 
(post  free,  6s.  6d.) 

Nature  :  "  This  is,  strictly  speaking,  an  elementary 
manual  of  geology.  The  general  plan  of  the  work  is 
good ;  the  book  is  well  printed  and  illustrated  with 
maps,  photographic  pictures  of  rock  structure  and 
scenery,  and  figures  of  fossils  and  rock  sections." 

Saturday  Review:  "His  style  is  animated  and 
inspiring,  or  clear  and  precise,  as  occasion  demands. 
The  people  of  Sydney  are  to  be  congratulated  on  the 
existence  of  such  a  guide  to  their  beautiful  country." 


SIMPLE  TESTS  FOR  MINERALS; 

Or,  Every  Man  his  Own  Analyst. 

BY  JOSEPH  CAMPBELL,  M.A.,  F.G.S.,  M.I.M.E. 

Fourth  Edition,  revised  and  enlarged  (com- 
pleting the  ninth  thousand).  With  illus- 
trations. Cloth,  round  corners,  3s.  6d. 
(post  free  3s.  9d.}. 

16 


THE  JUSTICES'   MANUAL 
AND    POLICE   GUIDE: 

A  synopsis  of  offences  punishable  by  indictment 
and  on  summary  conviction,  definitions  of 
crimes,  meanings  of  legal  phrases,  hints  on 
evidence,  procedure,  ponce  duties,  &c. 

Compiled  by  DANIEL  STEPHEN,  Sergeant  of  Police. 

Foolscap  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  round  corners,  5s. 
(post  free,  5s.  3d.). 

Sydney  Morning1  Herald  :  "  Justices  of  the  peace 
and  others  concerned  in  the  administration  of  the  law 
will  find  the  value  of  this  admirably  arranged  work." 

Town  and  Country  Journal:  "The  author  has 
put  together  a  vast  amount  of  useful  and  generally 
practical  information,  likely  to  be  interesting,  as  well 
as  valuable,  to  justices  of  the  peace,  policemen,  and 
all  others  concerned  in  the  administration  of  the  law." 

Sydney  Mail :  "  A  well  got  up  handbook  that 
should  prove  of  decided  value  to  a  large  section  of 
the  community.  .  .  .  Primarily  intended  for 
justices  of  the  peace  and  policemen,  it  is  so  handily 
arranged,  so  concise,  and  so  comprehensive,  that  it 
should  appeal  to  everyone  who  wants  to  know  just 
how  he  stands  in  regard  to  the  law  of  the  land." 

Sydney  Wool  and  Stock  Journal:  "The  book 
practically  makes  every  man  his  own  lawyer,  and 
enables  him  to  see  at  a  glance  what  the  law  is  upon 
any  given  point,  and  will  save  more  than  its  cost  at 
the  first  consultation." 

Stock  and  Station  Journal :  "  To  speak  of  a  work 
of  this  kind  as  being  interesting  would  doubtless 
cause  surprise;  but  it  most  certainly  is  a  very 
interesting  book.  We  strongly  recommend  it." 


THE  ANNOTATED  CONSTITU- 
TION OF  THE  AUSTRALIAN 
COMMONWEALTH. 

By  Sir  JOHN  QUICK  AND  R.  R.  GARRAN,  C.M.G. 
Royal  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  21s. 

The  Times  :  "  The  Annotated  Constitution  of  the 
Australian  Commonwealth  is  a  monument  of  industry. 
.  .  Dr.  Quick  and  Mr.  Garran  have  collected, 
with  patience  and  enthusiasm,  every  sort  of  infor- 
mation, legal  and  historical,  which  can  throw  light  on 
the  new  measure.  The  book  has  evidently  been  a 
labour  of  love." 


HISTORY  OF  AUSTRALIAN 
BUSHRANGING. 

By  CHARLES  WHITE. 

In  two  vols.    Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d. 
each  (postage  6d.  each). 

For  Cheaper  Edition  see  Commomoealth  Series,  page  2. 

Year  Book  Of  Australia:  "There  is  ' romance' 
enough  about  it  to  make  it  of  permanent  interest  as  a 
peculiar  and  most  remarkable  stage  in  our  social 
history." 

Queenslander  :  "  Mr.  White  has  supplied  material 
enough  for  twenty  such  novels  as  'Robbery  Under 
Arms/" 

is 


CALENDAR  OF  THE 
UNIVERSITY  OF  SYDNEY. 

8vo,    linen,    2s.     6d.  ;     paper     cover,     Is. 
(postage  8d.) 


MANUAL  OF  PUBLIC 
EXAMINATIONS  HELD  BY 
THE  UNIVERSITY  OF  SYDNEY. 

8vo,  paper  cover,  Is.  (post  free  Is.  3d.). 


TABLES   FOR  QUALITATIVE 
CHEMICAL   ANALYSIS. 

Arranged  for  the  use  of  Students  by  A.LIVERSIDGE, 
M.A.,  LL.D.,  F.R.S.,  Professor  of  Chemistry  in  the 
University  of  Sydney. 

Second  edition,  Royal  8vo.,  cloth  gilt,  4s.  6d. 
(post  free  4s.  9d. ). 


QUALITATIVE   ANALYSIS: 

Notes  and  Tables  for  the  Use  of  Students. 

By  Rev.  J.  MILNE  CURR  AN,  Lecturer  in  Chemistry 
and  Geology,  Technical  College,  Sydney,  Author  of 
"  The  Geology  of  Sydney  and  the  Blue  Mountains." 

With  illustrations.  Demy  8vo,  cloth  gilt, 
4s.  6d.  (post  free  5s.). 

19 


AN    INTRODUCTION   TO   THE 
INFINITESIMAL   CALCULUS. 

By    H.    S.    CARSLAW,   M.A.,    D.Sc.,    Professor   of 
Mathematics  in  the  University  of  Sydney. 

Demy  4to,  price  5s.  (post  free  5s.  7d.). 


ABRIDGED    MATHEMATICAL 
TABLES. 

By  S.  H.  BARRACLOUGH,  B.E.,  M.M.E.,  Assoc. 
M.  Inst.  C.E. 

Demy  8vo,  cloth,  Is.  (post  free  Is.  Id.). 
Logarithms,  &c.,  published  separately,  price 
6d.  (post  free  7d.). 


ELEMENTARY   GEOMETRY, 

Practical  and  Theoretical. 

By  C.  GODFREY,  M.A.,  and  A.  W.  SIDDONS,  M.A. 

Complete  edition  (Books  I. -IV.),  crown  8vo, 
cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.  (post  free  4s.}.  Vol.  I. 
(Books  I.  and  II.),  2s.  Vol.  II.  (Books 
III.  and  IV.),  2s.  (postage  3d.}.  Answers 
in  separate  volume,  price  4d.  (post  free  5d.) 

90 


ENGLISH  GRAMMAR,  COMPOSI- 
TION, AND  PRECIS  WRITING. 

For  Use  by  Candidates  for  University  and  Public 
Service  Examinations. 

BY  JAMES  CONWAY,  Headmaster  at  Cleveland- 
street  Superior  Public  School,  Sydney. 

Prescribed  by  the  Department  of  Public 
Instruction,  N.S.W.,  for  First  and  Second 
Class  Teachers'  Certificate  Examinations. 
New  edition,  revised  and  enlarged. 
Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.  (post  free 
3s. 


A  SMALLER  ENGLISH 
GRAMMAR,  COMPOSITION, 
AND  PRECIS  WRITING. 

BY  JAMES  CONWAY. 

Prescribed  by  the  Department  of  Public 
Instruction,  N.S.W.,  for  Third  Class  and 
Pupil  Teachers'  Examinations.  New 
edition,  revised  and  enlarged.  Crown  8vo, 
cloth,  Is.  6d.  (post  free  Is.  9d.). 

N.S.W.  Educational  Gazette  :  "  The  abridgment 
is  very  well  done.  One  recognises  the  hand  of  a  man 
who  has  had  long  experience  of  the  difficulties  of  this 
subject." 

21 


CAUSERIES  FAMILIERES  ;  OR 

FRIENDLY     CHATS.        A  Simple   and 

Deductive  French  Course. 

BY  MRS.  S.  C.  BOYD. 

Prescribed  for  use  in  schools  by  the  Department  of 
Public  Instruction,  New  South  Wales.  Pupils'  Edition, 
containing  all  that  need  be  in  the  hands  of  the  learner. 
Crown  8vo,  cloth,  limp,  Is.  6d.  (post  free  Is.  8d.). 
Teachers'  Edition,  containing  grammatical  summaries, 
exercises,  a  full  treatise  on  pronunciation,  French  - 
English  and  English-French  Vocabulary,  and  other 
matter  for  the  use  of  the  teacher  or  of  a  student 
without  a  master.  Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d. 
(post  free  3s  10d.). 

The  London  Spectator :  "  A  most  excellent  and 
practical  little  volume,  evidently  the  work  of  a  trained 
teacher.  It  combines  admirably  and  in  an  entertain- 
ing form  the  advantages  of  the  conversational  with 
those  of  the  grammatical  method  of  learning  a 
language." 

GEOGRAPHY  OF  NEW  SOUTH 

WALES.       BY   J.    M.    TAYLOR,    M.A.,    LL.B. 

New  Edition,  revised.  With  37  illustrations 
and  6  folding  maps.  Crown  8vo,  cloth 
gilt,  3s.  6d.  (post  free  3s.  10d.). 

Sydney  Morning1  Herald :  "  Something  more  than 
a  school  book;  it  is  an  approach  to  an  ideal  geography/' 

Review  Of  Reviews  :  "  It  makes  a  very  attractive 
handbook.  Its  geography  is  up-to-date ;  it  is  not 
overburdened  with  details,  and  it  is  richly  illustrated 
with  geological  diagrams  and  photographs  of  scenery 
reproduced  with  happy  skill." 

22 


THE  AUSTRALIAN   OBJECT 
LESSON    BOOK. 

Part  I. — For  Infant  and  Junior  Classes.. 
With  43  illustrations.  Crown  8vo,  cloth 
gilt,  3s.  6d.  ;  paper  cover,  2s.  6d.  (postage, 
4d.\ 

N.S.W.  Educational  Gazette:  "Mr.  Wiley  has 
wisely  adopted  the  plan  of  utilising  the  services  of 
specialists.  The  series  is  remarkably  complete,  and 
includes  almost  everything  with  which  the  little 
learners  ought  to  be  made  familiar.  Through- 
out the  whole  series  the  lessons  have  been  selected 
with  judgment  and  with  a  due  appreciation  of  the 
capacity  of  the  pupils  for  whose  use  they  are  intended." 


THE  AUSTRALIAN  OBJECT 
LESSON  BOOK. 

Part  II. — For  advanced  classes.  With  113 
illustrations.  Crown  8vo,  cloth  gilt,  3s.  6d.; 
paper  cover,  2s.  6d.  (postage  4d.). 

Victorian  Education  Gazette  :  "  Mr.  Wiley  and  his 
colleagues  have  provided  a  storehouse  of  useful  infor- 
mation on  a  great  number  of  topics  that  can  be  taken 
up  in  any  Australian  school." 

N.S.W.  Educational  Gazette  :  "  The  Australian 
Object  Lesson  Book  is  evidently  the  result  of  infinite 
patience  and  deep  research  on  the  part  of  its  compiler, 
who  is  also  to  be  commended  for  the  admirable 
arrangement  of  his  matter." 

23 


CIVICS  AND  MORALS. 

BY  PERCIVAL  R.  COLE,  M.A.,  Frazer  Scholar  in 
Modern  History,  University  Medallist  in  Logic  and 
Mental  Philosophy,  Lecturer  in  the  Training  College, 
Fort-street,  Sydney. 

Crown  8vo,  cloth,  2s.  (post  /ree  2s.  3d.). 
Also  in  two  Parts  : — Part  I. — Classes  I. 
and  II. ;  Part  II.— Classes  III.,  IV.  and 
V. ;  cloth,  Is.  each  (postjree  Is.  %d.  each). 

The  N.S.W.  Educational  Gazette :  "  Although  our 
literature  and  folk-lore  contains  an  unlimited  wealth 
of  story  fitting  precisely  the  lines  of  the  syllabus,  yec 
very  many,  especially  of  our  younger  teachers,  will 
hail  with  delight  a  text  book  which  not  only  provides 
them  with  abundance  of  matter,  but  clearly  in- 
dicates how  such  matter  should  be  used.  This  is 

exactly  what  Mr.  Cole's  book  does This 

book  fills  a  distinct  gap  in  the  available  text  books 
necessary  under  the  new  system,  and  will  be 
appreciated  accordingly/' 


COMMERCIAL  ARITHMETIC. 

BY  G.  E.  DENCH,  B.A. 

Prescribed  by  the  N.S.W.  Department  of 
Public  Instruction.  Crown  8vo,  cloth, 
2s.  6d.  (post  free  2s.  10d.). 

24 


SOLUTIONS  OF  TEACHERS' 
ALGEBRA  PAPERS. 

Set  at  1st  and  2nd  Class  Teachers'  Examinations  from 
1894  to  1901  (inclusive),  by  W.  L.  ATKINS,  B.  A. 
Crown  8vo.,  cloth,  2s.  6d. 

SOLUTIONS  OF  TEACHERS' 
ARITHMETIC  PAPERS. 

Set  at  1st,  2nd,  and  3rd  Class  Teachers'  Examinations 
from  1894  to  1901  (inclusive),  by  J.  M.  TAYLOR, 
M.  A ,  LL.B.  Crown  8vo.,  cloth,  2s.  6d. 

N.S.W.  Educational  Gazette  :  "  Eoth  may  be  at 
once  pronounced  indispensable  to  teachers  preparing 
for  any  of  these  grades.  The  solutions  throughout 
are  neat,  clear,  and  concise,  and  will  show  intending 
candidates  not  only  how  to  obtain  the  desired  results, 
but  how  to  do  so  in  a  manner  calculated  to  secure 
full  marks  from  the  examiners." 


GUIDE  TO  THE 
MUSICAL  EXAMINATIONS. 

Held  by  the  N.S.W.  Department  of  Public  Instruction 
for  Teachers  and  Pupil  Teachers  in  all  grades.  By 
G.  T.  COTTERILL,  Headmaster  at  Paddington 
Superior  Public  School. 

Part  1.  The  papers  set  in  1898,  1899,  and  1900,  and 
Answers  thereto.  Crown  8vo,  cloth,  2s.  (post  free 
2s.  2d.).  Part  2.  The  Papers  set  in  1901,  and  Answers 
thereto.  Crown  8vo,  sewn,  Is.  (postjree  Is.  Id.). 

N.S.W.  Educational  Gazette:  "We  would  earn- 
estly urge  upon  teachers  and  pupil  teachers  intending 
to  sit  for  examination  the  wisdom  of  mastering  the 
principles  so  clearly  enunciated  in  these  valuable  text- 
books." 

25 


A   NEW  BOOK  OF   SONGS   FOR 
SCHOOLS  AND  SINGING 
CLASSES. 

BY     HUGO     ALPEN,    Superintendent     of    Music, 
Department  of  Public  Instruction,  New  South  Wales. 

8vo,  paper  cover.     Is.  (post  free  Is.  2d.). 


THE  AUSTRALIAN 
PROGRESSIVE  SONGSTER. 

By  S.  McBURNEY,  Mus.  Doc.,  Fellow  T.S.F.  College. 

Containing  graded  Songs,  Rounds  and  Exer- 
cises in  Staff  Notation,  Tonic  Sol-fa  and 
Numerals,  with  Musical  Theory.  Price,  6d. 
each  part ;  combined,  Is.  (postage  id.  each 
part). 

No.  1. — For  Junior  Classes, 
NO.  2.— For  Senior  Classes. 


AUSTRALIAN  SONGS  FOR 
AUSTRALIAN  CHILDREN. 

BY  MRS.  MAYBANKE  ANDERSON. 

All  the  songs  are  set  to  music,  while  to 
some  of  them  appropriate  calisthenic  exer- 
cises are  given.  Demy  4 to,  picture  cover,  Is. 
(postjree  Is.  Id.) 

26 


GEOGRAPHY  OF  AUSTRALIA 
AND  NEW  ZEALAND. 

With  Definitions  of  Geographical  Terms. 

Revised  Edition,  with  8  maps  and  19  illus- 
trations.     64  pages.     6d.  (post free  7d.\ 


GEOGRAPHY  OF  EUROPE,  ASIA, 
AFRICA,  AND  AMERICA. 

Revised  Edition,  with  18  relief  and  other 
maps,  and  17  illustrations  of  transconti- 
nental views,  distribution  of  animals,  &c. 
88  pages.  6d.  (post  free  7d). 


GEOGRAPHY  OF  NEW  SOUTH 
WALES. 

With  five  folding    maps.     48  pages.     6d, 
(post  free  7d.). 


GEOGRAPHY  OF  AFRICA. 

With  five  maps  in    relief,  &c.      64    pages. 
6d     (post  free  7d.). 


THE  METRIC   SYSTEM  OF 
WEIGHTS  AND  MEASURES,  AND 
DECIMAL  COINAGE. 

BY  J.  M.  TAYLOR,  M.A.,  LL.B. 

With  Introductory  Notes  on  the  nature  of 
Decimals,  and  contracted  methods  for  the 
Multiplication  and  Division  of  Decimals. 
Crown  8vo,  6d  (post  free  7d.).  ANSWERS,  6d. 

N.S.W.  Educational  Gazette:  "A  masterly  and 
elaborate  treatise  for  the  use  of  schools  on  a  subject 
of  world- wide  interest  and  importance.  .  ,  .  In 
commercial  life  a  knowledge  of  the  metric  system  has 
been  for  some  years  essential,  and  it  is,  therefore, 
fitting  that  its  underlying  principles  should  be  taught 
in  our  schools  concurrently  with  reduction,  and  prac- 
tised systematically  in  the  more  advanced  grades. 
For  this  purpose  the  book  is  unquestionably  the  best 
we  have  seen." 


THE  AUSTRALASIAN 
CATHOLIC  SCHOOL  SERIES. 

History  of  Australia  and  New  Zealand  for  Catholic 

Schools,  128  pages.      4d. 

Pupil's    Companion    to   the   Australian   Catholic 

First  Reader,  32  pages.  Id. 
Pupil's  Companion  to  the  Australian  Catholic 

Second  Reader,  64  pages.  2d. 
Pupil's  Companion  to  the  Australian  Catholic 

Third  Reader,  112  pages.    3d. 

Pupil's    Companion    to   the    Australian  Catholic 
Fourth  Reader,  160  pages.    4d. 

28 


AUSTRALIAN    SCHOOL   SERIES. 

Grammar  and  Derivation  Book.    64  pages.    2d. 
Test  Exercises  in  Grammar  for  3rd  Class,  1st  Year. 

64  pages.     2d.      2nd  Year,  64  pages.     2d. 

Table  Book  and  Mental  Arithmetic.    48  pages,  id. 
Chief  Events  and  Dates  in  English  History.    Pare 

I.  From  55  B.C.  to  1485  AD.    50  pages.     2d. 

Chief  Events  and  Dates  in  English  History.    Part 

II.  From  Henry  VII.  (1485)  to  Victoria  (1900).    64 
pages.     2d. 

History  Of  Australia.     80  pages.     4d.     Illustrated. 
Geography.     Part   I.      Australasia  and   Polynesia.       64 

pages.     2d. 
Geography.  Part  II.    Europe,  Asia,  America,  and  Africa. 

66  pages.     2d. 
Euclid.     Book  I.     With  Definitions,  Postulates,  Axioms, 

&c.     64  pages,     2d. 
Euclid.     Book  II.      With    Definitions   and   Exercises  on 

Books  I.  and  II.     32  pages.     2d. 
Euclid.     Book  III.     With  University   "  Junior  "   Papers 

1891-1897.     60  pages.     2d. 

Arithmetic  and  Practical  Geometry— Exercises  for 

ClaSS  II.      50  pages.      3d. 

Arithmetic— Exercises  for  Class  III.  50  pages.  3d. 
Arithmetic— Exercises  for  Class  IV,  50  pages.  3d. 
Arithmetic  and  Mensuration— Exercises  for  Class 

V.  With  the  Arithmetic  Papers  set  at  the  Sydney 
University  Junior,  the  Public  Service,  the  Sydney 
Chamber  of  Commerce,  and  the  Bankers'  Institute 
Examinations,  &c.  (New  Edition  in  the  press.) 

Algebra.     Part  I.      64  pages.      4d. 
Answers,  4d. 

Algebra.  Part  II.  To  Quadratic  Equations.  Contains 
over  twelve  hundred  Exercises,  including  the  Univer- 
sity Junior,  the  Public  Service,  the  Sydney  Chamber 
of  Commerce,  and  the  Bankers'  Institute  Examination 
Papers  to  1900,  &c.  112  pages.  4d.  Answers,  4d. 

29 


THE  AUSTRALIAN  COPY  BOOK. 

Approved  by  the  Departments  of  Public 
Instruction  in  New  South  Wales,  Queensland 
and  Tasmania,  by  the  Public  Service  Board 
of  New  South  Wales,  and  by  the  Chief 
Inspector  of  Catholic  Schools.  Price,  2d. 
each. 

No.  1,  Initiatory,  Short  Letters,  Short  Words ;  2,  Initiatory, 
Long  Letters,  Words ;  3,  Text,  Capitals,  Longer 
Words;  4,  Half-Text,  Short  Sentences;  5,  Inter- 
mediate, Australian  and  Geographical  Sentences  ;  6, 
Small  Hand,  Double  Ruling,  Australian  and  Geo- 
graphical Sentences,  Prefixes  and  Examples  ;  GA,  Text, 
Half-Text,  Intermediate,  Small  Hand  ;  7,  Small  Hand, 
Single  Ruling,  Maxims,  Quotations,  Proverbs ;  8, 
Advanced  Small  Hand,  Abbreviations  and  Contractions 
commonly  met  with  ;  9,  Commercial  Terms  and  Forms, 
Addresses;  10,  Commercial  Forms,  Correspondence, 
Addresses;  11,  Plain  and  Ornamental  Lettering, 
Mapping,  Flourishes,  <kc. 

Numerals  are  given  in  each  number. 


THE  AUSTRALIAN  PUPIL 
TEACHERS'  COPY  BOOK. 

A  selection  of  pages  from  the  Australian 
Copy  Book,  arranged  for  use  of  Pupil 
Teachers.  48  pages.  Price,  6d. 

30 


ANGUS  AND   ROBERTSON'S 
PENCIL  COPY  BOOK. 

Approved  by  the  N.S.W.  Department  of 
Public  Instruction.  In  nine  numbers.  Id. 
each. 

No.  1,  Initiatory  lines,  curves,  letters,  figures ;  2  and  3, 
Short  letters,  easy  combinations,  figures;  4,  Long  letters, 
short  words,  figures ;  5,  Long  letters,  words,  figures ; 
6,  7,  and  8,  Capitals,  words,  figures ;  9,  Short  sentences, 
figures. 


THE  AUSTRALIAN  LETTERING 
BOOK. 

Containing  the  Alphabets  most  useful  in 
Mapping,  Exercise  Headings,  &c.,  with 
practical  applications,  Easy  Scrolls,  Flou- 
rishes, Borders,  Corners,  Kulings,  &c. 
Second  Edition.  New  Edition,  revised  and 
enlarged,  cloth  limp,  6d.  (post  free  7d.). 


ELEMENTARY    PRACTICAL 
GEOMETRY. 

For  Classes  III.  and  IV.     With  Diagrams. 
Price  3d. 


GEOMETRY,    PRACTICAL   AND 
THEORETICAL 

Books  I.  and  II.     Price  6d.  each. 


CHAMBERS'S  GOVERNMENT 
HAND  COPY  BOOKS. 

Approved  by  Department  of  Public  Instruction. 

The  Letters  are  continuously  joined  to  each  other,  so 
that  the  pupil  need  not  lift  the  pen  from  the  beginning 
to  the  end  of  each  word.  The  Spaces  between  the 
letters  are  wide,  each  letter  thus  standing  out  boldly 
and  distinctly  by  itself.  The  Slope  is  gentle,  but 
sufficient  to  prevent  the  pupil  from  acquiring  a  back 
hand.  The  Curves  are  well  rounded,  checking  the 
tendency  to  too  great  angularity.  The  Writing  is  not 
cramped  and  confined,  plenty  of  space  being  allowed 
for  each  word.  The  Words  are  spaced  by  perpendi- 
cular lines,  and  the  lengths  of  the  letters  are  indicated 
by  horizontal  lines  in  the  early  numbers  of  the  series. 
These  books  are  now  printed  in  N.S.W.  on  paper 
which  has  been  specially  manufactured  for  the  series, 
and  is  of  unusually  good  quality.  Price,  2d.  each. 

No.  1,  Large  Hand,  Elements,  Letters,  and  Short  Words  ; 
2,  Half-Text,  Short  Words  without  Capitals ;  3,  Half- 
Text,  Sentences  with  Capitals,  Figures ;  4,  Half-Text, 
Proper  Names  with  Capitals ;  5,  Half-Text,  Sentences 
with  Capitals,  Figures ;  6,  Small  Round — Double 
Ruling,  Figures ;  7,  Small,  Double  Ruling  with  Inter- 
mediate Lines;  8,  Small,  Double  Ruling  without  Inter- 
mediate Lines  ;  9,  Small,  Single  Ruling — Historical ; 
10,  Small,  Single  Ruling — Geographical  ;  11,  Small, 
with  Partial  Ruling— Poetical ;  12,  Small,  Commer- 
cial— Business  Forms,  &c.  ;  13,  For  Pupil  Teachers. 


THE    COMMONWEALTH 
SCHOOL   PAPER. 

Issued  at  the  beginning  of  each  month  for 
Classes  I.  and  II.,  III.,  IV.,  V.  and  VI. 
Price  Id. 

32 


Buy  your  STATION  SUPPLIES  from  .  &, 

W.    N.    BEAUMONT 


65 


(Trading  as  JOHN  LISTER  &  CO.), 

PITT    STREET,    SYDNEY. 


Established  1886. 


Box  832,  G.P.O. 


"Wormo  Specif ico  Sheep  Drench,"  YVoolpacks, 
Phosphorus,    Rock   and   Coarse  Salt,   Twine,  Tea, 

Groceries,  Drapery,  Furniture,  Netting,  Wire, 
"Wolseley"  Rabbit  Fumigator,  Patent  Skylights, 
Machinery,  Engines,  Windmills,   Pumps,  Etc.,  Etc. 

PRICES     ON     APPLICATION. 


The  Improved  "POM  POM 
Pollard  Distributor. 


FIRST   AWARDS 


Yackandandah, 1902 
Corowa.  19O2 
Geelong,  19O2 
Tallang-atta,  19O3 
G-undag-ai,  1903 


Tallang-atta,  19O4 
Orange,  19O4 
Coonamble,  19O4 
Warren,  19O4 


' 


The   'WOLSELEY 
Rabbit  Fumigator. 

FIRST   AWARDS- 
Albury,  19O2  Gundagai,  1904 

Gundagai,  19O3  Orange,  19O4 

Tallangatta,  19O4 


Full  particulars,  with   prices  and  testimonials, 
on  application  to 

W.     N.     BEAUMONT 

(JOHN     LISTER     &    CO.) 
65     PITT     STREET,     SYDNEY,     N.S.W 


PEARSON'S 


CARBOLIC 


SAND    SOAP. 

(Protected  by  Letters  Patent). 


Unrivalled  for  cleansing  the  hands,  however  stained  they  may  be.  For 
icrubbing  Floors,  Tables,  Stairs,  or  any  kind  of  Woodwork,  it  cannot  be 
equalled.  Copper,  Braes,  Steel,  Iron  and  Tinware  of  every  description, 
brightened  with  one  application.  It  is  invaluable  for  removing  finger 
marks  and  other  stains  from  paint  or  varni.ih  work.  It  destroys  all 
Insect  Life — Ants,  Fleas,  &c.,  Sec.,  will  not  infest  houses  where  it  is 
habitually  used.  As  a  disinfectant  it  is  highly  recommended  by  the 
medical  faculty. 

MANUFACTURERS » 

PEARSON    BROS., 

HENRY  STREET,  LEICHHARDT. 
Ask  your  Grocer  for  PEAR5ON'S,  and  take  no  other. 


PR  Lawson,  Henry  Archibald 

6023  Hertzberg 

A94H8      Humorous  verses 

1905 


PLEASE  DO  NOT  REMOVE 
CARDS  OR  SLIPS  FROM  THIS  POCKET 

UNIVERSITY  OF  TORONTO  LIBRARY