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THE HAWORTH EDITION
JANE EYRE
FIRST EDITION (Smith, Elder 6- Co.) .„ 184?
HAWORTH EDITION ON THIN PAPER
FIRST ISSUED (John Murray) .« January, 1924
Reprinted -» .. .. May, 1925
Reprinted •• . . . . August, 1927
Reprinted February, 1930
Reprinted October, 1932
Printed in Great Britain at THE BALLANTYNB PRESS
SroTTi&wooDE, BALLANTYNE ft Co. LTD
Colchester London & Eton
INTRODUCTION
TO
JANE EYRE
' JANE EYBB ' was first published in October 1847. Half
a century —since this tale of the North by an unknown
writer stole upon London, and, in the very midst of the
serial publication of * Vanity Fair,' took the town by
storm, obtaining for its author in the course of a few
weeks a success which, as the creator of Becky Sharp
afterwards said to her, a little sadly and sharply, 'it
took me the work of ten years to achieve.'
Half a century, in the view of the Roman Church, is
often hardly sufficient to decide evon the first step in the
process of canonisation ; it is generally amply sufficient
to decide all matters of literary rank and permanence.
How has the verdict gone in the case of Currer Bell ?
Have these fifty years ' cut all meaning from the name/
or have they but tilled it with a fuller content, wreathed it
with memories and associations that will for ever keep it
luminous and delightful amid the dim tracts of the past ?
Judging by the books that have been written and read
in recent years, by the common verdict as to the Bronte
sisters, their story, and their work, which prevails,
x JANE EYKE
almost without exception, in the literary criticism of
the present day ; by the tone of personal tenderness,
even of passionate homage, in which many writers speak
of Charlotte and of Emily ; and by the increasing recog-
nition which their books have obtained abroad, one may
say with some confidence that the name and memory
of the Brontes were never more alive than now, that
* Honour and Fame have got about their graves ' for good
and all, and that Charlotte and Emily Bronte are no less
secure, at any rate, than Jane Austen or George Eliot or
Mrs. Browning of literary recollection in the time to come.
But if the Brontes live, their books live also. There
are some names of the past —Byron —Voltaire - that
are far greater now, more full of magic and of spell,
than the books associated with them — that are, in fact,
separable from the books, and could almost live on
without them. But Charlotte Bronte is Jane Eyre and
Lucy Snowe. You cannot think of her apart from
what she has written, and everything that she wrote
has the challenging, quality of personal emotion or of
passion, moving in a narrow range among very concrete
things, and intimately fused throughout with the in-
cidents and feelings of one small, intense experience :
so that, if one finds, as one does find abundantly, that
the Brontes are remembered, it must be that their
books are read, that people still sit up into the night
with ' Jane Eyre,' and are still as angry as they were
at the first, that they can get no one to assure them of
Paul Emmanuel's safe return.
So it must be ; and so, indeed, the personal experi-
INTEODUCTION xi
ence of most of us can vouch that it is. Nevertheless,
here and there one may hear a protesting voice. Here
and there a reader— and generally a reader of more
subtlety and range than his fellows —struck with the
union of certain extravagances and certain dogmatisms in
Charlotte Bronte's work, with the weakness of Anne's and
the crudity of Emily's, will dare to say, ' Not at all ! The
vitality of the Bronte fame does not mean primarily the
vitality of the Bronta books. It is a vitality which springs
from the English love of the pathetic and the picturesque,
and the English tendency to subordinate matters of art
to matters of sentiment. Mrs. Gaskell, herself an ac-
complished novelist, wrote an account of these lonely
girls on a Yorkshire moor, struggling with poverty and
consumption, developing genius in the very wrestle with
death, taking the heaven of fame by violence, and
perishing in the effort. She showed them to us oppressed
by poverty and by daily contact with a vicious brother,
and yet, through it all, remaining dutiful, loving, and
virtuous, as the good English public likes them to be :
she described the deaths —the piteous deaths - of two of
the sisters in the very moment, or on the very threshold,
of success, and, finally, her narrative brought us to the
death of Charlotte herself -Charlotte snatched from
happiness and from motherhood, after one brief yecir of
married life : and so skilful is the telling, so touching
the story, that the great English heart goes out to it,
and forthwith the Bronte books must be books of genius,
because the Brontes are so interesting and their story
so tragic.'
xii JANE EYBE
Perhaps this explanation is put forward to account
rather for the continuance of the Brontes' fame than for
their original success. Such a critic would admit that
' Jane Eyre ' is at least a vivid and exciting story ; that
' Villette ' has at least passages of extraordinary
brilliance : but he will obstinately maintain, none the
less, that other bookb now forgotten, have had as much,
and that the Bronte ' legend ' has unfairly strengthened
the claim of the Bronte stories upon posterity.
Let us see how such a contention stands in the
case of ' Jane Kyre.' ' Jane Eyre '•— to run through a
summary of the plot -is the story of an orphan girl,
reared at a Charity School amid many hardships, going
out into the world as a governess, and falling in love
with her employer, Mr. Rochester. She yields herself to
her own passion and to his masterful love-making with
an eager, an over-eager abandonment. The wedding-
day is fixed ; the small marriage party assembles. But
in the very church, and at the moment of the ceremony,
it is revealed to Jane Eyre that Mr. Rochester has a
wife living, a frenzied lunatic who has been confined for
months in a corner of the same house where she and
Rochester have had their daily dwelling ; that Rochester
has deliberately entrapped her, and that she stands on
the edge of an abyss. The marriage party breaks up in
confusion ; and Rochester's next endeavour is to per-
suade the stunned and miserable Jane to scout law and
convention, and fly with him to love and foreign parts.
He shows her the lunatic, in all the odious horror of her
state, and Jane forgives him on the spot, having never
INTBODUCTION xiii
indeed, so far as appears, felt any deep resentment of
his conduct. Nevertheless, she summons up courage to
leave him. She steals away by night, and, after days of
wandering and starvation, she finds a home with the
Rivers family, who ultimately turn out to be her cousins.
St. John Kivers, the brother of the family, an Evan-
gelical clergyman possessed with a fanatical enthusiasm
for missionary life, observes the girl's strong and
energetic nature, and makes up his mind to marry her,
not in the least because he loves her, but because he
thinks her fitted to be a missionary's wife. Her will is
on the point of yielding to his, when she hears a
mysterious midnight call from Rochester; she hurries
back to her master, to find him blinded and maimed by
the fire which has destroyed his house and his mad wife
together ; and of course the end is happiness.
Now certainly there never was a plot, which pre-
tended to be a plot, of looser texture than that of ' Jane
Eyre.' It abounds with absurdities and inconsistencies.
The critics of Charlotte Bronte's time had no difficulty
in pointing them out ; they lie, indeed, on the surface
for all to see. That such incidents should have happened
to Jane Eyre in Mr. Rochester's house as did happen,
without awakening her suspicions; that the existence
of a lunatic should have been commonly known to all
the servants of the house, yet wholly concealed from
the governess ; that Mr. Rochester should have been a
man of honour and generosity, a man with whom not
only Jane Eyre, but clearly the writer herself, is in
love, and yet capable of deliberately betraying and
A2
xiv JANE EYBE
deceiving a girl of twenty placed in a singularly help-
less position ; —these are the fundamental puzzles of the
story. Mrs. Fairfax is a mystery throughoiit. How,
knowing what she did, did she not inevitably know
more? — what was her real relation to Eochester ?— to
Jane Eyre? These are questions that no one can
answer - out of the four corners of the book. The
country-house party ib a tissue of extravagance through-
out ; the sarcasms and brutalities of the beautiful
Miss Ingram are no more credible than the manners
assumed by the aristocratic Eochester from the begin-
ning towards his ward's governess, or the amazing
freedom with which he pours into the ears of the same
governess - a virtuous girl of twenty, who has been no
more than a few weeks under his roof —the story of his
relations with Adele's mother.
Turn to the early scenes, for instance, between Jane
and Eochester. They have been ' several days ' under
the same roof ; it is Jane's second interview with her
employer. Mr. Eochester, in Sultan fashion, sends for
her and her pupil after dinner. He sits silent, while
Jane's quick eye takes note of him. Suddenly he turns
upon her.
' You examine me, Miss Eyre/ said he ; 'do you think me
handsome ? '
Jane, taken by surprise, delivers a stout negative,
whereupon her employer, in caprice or pique, pursues
the subject further :
« Criticise me : does my forehead not please you? '
INTRODUCTION xv
He lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay horizon-
tally over his brow, and showed a solid enough mass of
intellectual organs, but an abrupt deficiency where the suave
sign of benevolence should have risen.
' Now, ma'am, am I a fool ? '
Poor Jane gets out of the dilemma as best she can,
and gradually this astonishing gentleman thaws, be-
comes conversational and kind. And this is how he
puts the little governess at her ease : —
You look very much puzzled, Miss Eyre ; and though
you are not pretty, any more than I am handsome, yet a
puzzled air becomes you ; besides, it is convenient, for it
keeps those searching eyes of yours away from my phy-
siognomy, and busies them with the worsted flowers of the
rug ; so puzzle on. Young lady, I am disposed to be gre-
garious and communicative to-night.'
1 Young lady, I am disposed to be gregarious and
communicative to-night ! ' Not even c Mr. Eawjester f
could exceed this. Parody has nothing to add.
The country-house party is equally far from any-
thing known, either to realistic or 'romantic truth, even
to the truth as it existed in the days of ' Jane Eyre's '
Quarterly Reviewer and the Cowan Bridge School.
Listen to the badinage of the beautiful and accomplished
Miss Ingram. She is making brutal fun of governesses,
in order to be overheard by the shy and shrinking
Jane behind the window-curtain. Miss Ingram, it
should be remarked, has never seen Jane before, has
no grievance against her, and can only be supposed
to be displaying the aristocratic temper as such. It
xvi JANE EYEE
pleases her to describe a love affair that her childhood
had discovered between her own governess and her
brother's tutor. She tells how she and her precious
brothers and sisters employed it — the love affair — 'as
a sort of lever to hoist our dead-weights from the
house.'
' . . . Dear mamma, there, as soon as she got an inkling
of the business, found out that it was of an immoral tendency.
Did you not, my lady-mother ? '
' Certainly, my best. And I was quite right, depend on
that; there are a thousand reasons why liaisons between
governesses and tutors should never be tolerated a moment
in any well-regulated house ; firstly '
' Oh, gracious, mamma ! spare us the enumeration I Au
reste, we all know them : danger of bad example to the
innocence of childhood — distractions and consequent neglect
of duty— on the part of the attached— mutual alliance and
rehanco ; confidence thence resulting — insolence accompany-
ing— mutiny and general blow-up. Am I right, Baroness
Ingram, of Ingram Park ? '
Baroness Ingram, of Ingram Park I
But Miss Ingram* can also show herself as the gay
and sprightly trifler with Bochester's well-bred homage.
1 Whenever I marry,' she continued, after a pause which
none interrupted, ' I am resolved that my husband shall
not be a rival, but a foil. Mr. Kochester, now sing, and I
will play for you.1
4 1 am all obedience,' was the response.
1 Here, then, is a Corsair-song. Know that I doat on
Corsairs ; and for that reason sing it " con spirito." '
1 Commands from Miss Ingram's lips would put spirit
into a mug of milk and water.'
INTBODUCTION xvii
And so on. The whole scene from beginning to end
is a piece of heavy grotesque, without either the truth
or the fun of good satire. It was these pages, of course,
and certain others like them in the book, that set George
Henry Lewes preaching the ' mild eyes/ the ' truth,' and
1 finish * of Miss Austen to the new and stormy genius
which had produced 'Jane Eyre/ And one may see,
perhaps, in Charlotte's soreness, in the very vehemence
that she shows under this particular criticism, that,
secretly, the shaft has gone home. She is, after all,
infinitely shrewd, sensitive, and, in the end, just. She
wrote a petulant letter to Mr. Lewes ; but she sent for
1 Pride and Prejudice,' which she had never read, and
the probability is that, in spite of a natural antipathy,
her quick eye took note at once of the fineness of stroke
that goes to caricature itself in that immortal book ; that
she pondered Mr. Collins and Lady Catharine de Burgh ;
and that in the comparative ease and urbanity which
marked the painting of manners in ' Shirley,' the influence
of her tilt with Lewes counts for something.
As to the other weaknesses of plot and conception,
they are very obvious and very simple. The ' arrange-
ments ' by which Jane Eyre is led to find a home in the
Eivers household, and becomes at once her uncle's
heiress, and the good angel of her newly discovered
cousins ; the device of the phantom voice that recalls
her to Rochester's side ; the fire that destroys the mad
wife, and delivers into Jane's hands a subdued and
helpless Rochester ;— all these belong to that more
mechanical and external sort of plot-making, which the
xviii JANE EYRE
modern novelist of feeling and passion — as distinguished
from the novelist of adventure - prides himself on
renouncing. To him the painting of a situation like
that, say, in Benjamin Constant's ' Adolphe ' — infinitely
true, and wholly insoluble— where the writer scorns to
apply any coercive framework, any rough-and-ready
' plot ' to his material, is the admirable and important
thing. The true subject of * Jane Eyre ' is the courage
with which a friendless and loving girl confronts her
own passion, and, in the interest of some strange social
instinct which she knows as * duty/ which she cannot
explain and can only obey, tramples her love underfoot,
and goes out miserable into the world. Beside this wrestle
of the human will, everything else is trivial or vulgar.
The various expedients— legacies, uncles, fires, and coin-
cidences—by which Jane Eyre is ultimately brought to
happiness, cheapen and degrade the book without con-
vincing the reader. In fact— to return to our advocatus
diaboli — ' " Jane Eyre " is on the one side a rather poor
novel of incident, planned on the conventional pattern,
and full of clumsy execution ; on another side it is a
picture of passion and of ideas, for which in truth the
writer had no sufficient equipment ; she moves im-
prisoned, to quote Mr. Leslie Stephen, in "a narrow
circle of thoughts ; " if you press it, the psychology of the
book is really childish ; Rochester is absurd, Jane Eyre,
in spite of the stir that she makes, only half-realised
and half-conscious. Still, as a study of feeling, adapted
to some extent to modern realist demands, the novel
came at a happy moment. It is one of the signs, no
INTEODDCTION xix
doubt, that mark the transition from the old novel to the
new, from the old novel of plot and coincidence to the
new novel of psychology and character. But, given the
defects of the book, how is it possible to assign it a high
place in the history of that great modern art which has
commanded the knowledge of a Tolstoy, and the mind
of a Turguenieff, which is the subtle interpreter and not
the vulgar stage-manager of nature, which shrinks from
the merely obvious and vigorous, and is ever pressing
forward toward that more delicate, more complex, more
elusive expression, satisfying in proportion to its incom-
pleteness, which is the highest response of human
genius to this unintelligible world ? '
II
So far the objector : yet, in spite of it all, ' Jane
Eyre ' persists, and Charlotte Bronte is with the im-
mortals. What is it that a critic bf this type forgets —
what item does he drop out of the reckoning which yet,
in the addition, decides the sum ?
Simply, one might say, Charlotte Bronte herself.
Literature, says Joubert, has been called the expression
of society ; and so no doubt it is, looked at as a whole.
In the single writer, however, it appears rather as the
expression of studies, or temper, or personality. And
this last is the best. There are books so fine that
literature in them is but the expression of those that
write them.' In other words, there are books where
xx JANE BYRE
the writer seems to be everything, the material
employed, the environment, almost nothing. The main
secret of the charm that clings to Charlotte Bronte's
books is, and .will always be, the contact which they give
us with her own fresh, indomitable, surprising persona-
lity—surprising, above all. In spite of its conventio-
nalities of scheme, ' Jane Eyre ' has, in detail, in
conversation, in the painting of character, that
perpetual magic of the unexpected which overrides a
thousand faults, and keeps the mood of the reader
happy and alert. The expedients of the plot may
irritate or chill the artistic sense ; the voice of the story-
teller, in its inflections of passion, or feeling or reverie,
charms and holds the ear, almost from first to last.
The general plan may be commonplace, the ideas even
of no great profundity ; but the book is original. How
often in the early scenes of childhood or school-life does
one instinctively expect the conventional solution, the
conventional softening, the conventional prettiness or
quaintness, that so many other story-tellers, of undoubted
talent, could not have resisted ! And it never comes.
Hammer-like, the blows of a passionate realism descend.
Jane Eyre, the little helpless child, is never comforted ;
Mrs. Reid, the cruel aunt, is never sorry for her cruelties ;
Bessie, the kind nurse, is not very kind, she does not
break the impression, she satisfies no instinct of poetic
compensation, she only just makes the story credible,
the reader's assent possible. So, at Lowood, Helen Burns
is not a suffering angel; there is nothing consciously
pretty or touching in the wonderful picture of her:
INTBODUCTION xxi
reality, with its discords, its infinite novelties, lends
word and magic to the passion of Charlotte's memory of
lier dead sister ; all is varied, living, poignant, full of
the inexhaustible savour of truth, and warm with the
fire of the heart. So that at last, when pure pathos
comes, when Helen sleeps herself to death in Jane's
arms, when the struggle is over, and room is made for
softness, for pity, the mind of the reader yields itself
wholly, without reserve, to the working of an artist so
masterful, so self-contained, so rightly frugal as to the
great words and great emotions of her art. We are in
the presence of the same kind of power as that which
drew the death of Bazarov in ' Fathers and Sons ' — a
power which, in the regions covered by the experience of
the mind behind it, ' nothing common does nor mean,'
which shrinks from the borrowed and the imitated and
the insincere, as the patriot shrinks from treason.
Personality then — strong, free, passionate personality
— is the sole but the sufficient spell of these books. Can
we analyse some of its elements ?— so far, at least, as
their literary expression is concerned ?
In the first place, has it ever been sufficiently
recognised that Charlotte Bronte is first and foremost
an Irishwoman, that her genius is at bottom a Celtic
genius ? When she first appeared at the Eoehead school
in 1831, as a child of fourteen, it was noticed by the
schoolfellow to whom we owe so many early remem-
brances of her, that she ' spoke with a strong Irish
accent.' Her father came from an Irish cabin in
County Down; her mother was of a Cornish family.
xxii JANE EYEB
The main characteristics indeed of the Gelt are all hers
— disinterestedness, melancholy, wildness, a wayward
force and passion, for ever wooed by sounds and
sights to which other natures are insensible - by mur-
murs from the earth, by colours in the sky, by tones
and accents of the soul, that speak to the Celtic sense as
to no other. 'We shall never build the Parthenon/
said Eenan of his own Breton race ; ' marble is not for
us ; but we know how to grip the heart and the soul ;
we have an art of piercing that belongs to us alone ; we
plunge our hands into the entrails of man, and, like the
witches of " Macbeth," we draw them back full of the
secrets of the infinite. The great marvel of our art is to
know how to make a charm out of the very disease that
plagues us. A spring of eternal madness rises in the
heart of our race. The " realm of faery," the most
beautiful on earth, is our domain.' — Idealism, under-
stood as a life-long discontent ; passion, conceived as an
inner thirst and longing that wears and kills more often
than it makes happy ; a love of home and kindred
entwined with the very roots of life, so that home-
sickness may easily exhaust and threaten life ; an art
directed rather to expression than to form —ragged often
and broken, but always poignant, always suggestive,
touched with reverie and emotion; who does not
recognise in these qualities, these essentially Celtic
qualities, the qualities of the Bronte s ?
Take this passage from Charlotte's letter to Miss
Nussey, announcing Emily's death :
INTBODUCTION xxiii
The anguish of seeing her suffer is over ; the spectacle of
the pains of death is gone by ; the funeral day is past. We
feel she is at peace. No need now to tremble for the hard
frost and the keen wind. Emily does not feel them. She
died in a time of promise. We saw her taken from life in
its prime.
Or, again :
I cannot forget Emily's death-day. — It was very terrible.
She was torn, conscious, panting, reluctant, though resolute,
out of a happy life.
Or, takft the well-known outburst in ' Shirley/ where
Charlotte, writing in the desolate Haworth home after
her sisters' deaths, turns from the description of Jessy
Yorke, to think of Martha Taylor, Jessy Yorke's original,
and of Martha's burial-day in Brussels : —
But, Jessy, I will write about you no more. This is an
autumn evening, wet and wild. There is only one cloud in
the sky ; but it curtains it from pole to pole. The wind can-
not rest; it hurries, sobbing, over hills of sullen outline,
colourless with twilight and mist. Bain has beat all day on
that church tower —
[- one thinks of her, lifting her eyes from her small
writing, as she looks down the bare strip of garden to
Haworth Church — ] ;
— it rises dark from the stony enclosure of its graveyard : the
nettles, the long grass, and the tombs all drip with wet.
This evening reminds me too forcibly of another evening
some years ago : a howling, rainy, autumn evening, too, —
when certain who had that day performed a pilgrimage to a
grave new-made in a heretic cemetery, sat near a wood fire
xxiv JANE EYEE
on the hearth of a foreign dwelling. They were merry and
social, but they each knew that a gap, never to be filled, had
been made in their circle. They knew they had lost some-
thing whose absence could never be quite atoned for, so long
as they lived ; and they knew that heavy falling rain was
soaking into the wet earth which covered their lost darling ;
and that the sad, sighing gale was mourning above her buried
head. The fire warmed them ; Life and Friendship yet
blessed them: but Jessy lay cold, coffined, solitary — only
the sod screening her from the storm.
These passages surely have the Celtic quality, if ever
writing had. Eapid, yearning, broken speech ! — there
is no note more penetrating in our literature.
Then, as to the Celtic pride, the Celtic shyness, the
Celtic endurance, — Charlotte Bronte was rich in them all.
Her nature loves to give — recoils from gifts. She will
owe nothing to anyone ; she half enjoys, half dislikes,
the kindnesses even of her friendly and considerate pub-
lisher ; and in society she will neither be exhibited nor
patronised. Nor will she submit her judgment or taste ;
she will swear to ncr man's words. Nothing is more
curious than to mark the resolute, and even haughty,
independence with which the little countrywoman
approached for the first time the literary world and the
celebrities of London. She breaks her shy silence at a
dinner-table crowded with Macready worshippers lo
denounce Macready's acting ; when Thackeray comes to
see her for the first time, she herself says, ' The giant
sate before me ; I was moved to speak to him of some of
his shortcomings (literary, of course) ; one by one the
faults came into my head, and one by one I brought
INTEODUCTION xxv
them out and sought some explanation or defence ; ' — so
that Mr. Smith, sitting by, may well describe it as ' a
queer scene.1 She will have nothing to say to Miss
Barrett's poetry ; and when she returns to Haworth,
she says, with a touch of quiet and confident scorn, that
London people talk a great deal of writers and books
who mean nothing in the country, nothing to England
at large. As to the shyness, it was the torment of both
her physical and mental life. The Celtic craving for
solitude, the Celtic shrinking from all active competitive
existence — they were part of Charlotte's inmost nature,
although perpetually crossed and checked, no doubt, by
other influences driving her to utterance, to production,
to sustained effort. And for endurance — did not her
short life, divided between labour, fame, and calamity,
make, first and chief upon all who knew it, the impres-
sion of an unshaken and indomitable spirit? The
r chainless soul f was hers no less than Emily's, though
she was far saner and sweeter than Emily.
And all three qualities —pride, shrinking, endurance
— are writ large in her books. 'With passion added,
they are Jane Eyre and Lucy Snowe. They supply the
atmosphere, the peculiar note, of all the stories. A
contempt for mean and easy living, for common gains,
and common luxuries, breathes in them, and makes
them harsh and bracing £ts the air of her own moors.
And one other Celtic quality there is in Charlotte
Bronte and her books, which is responsible perhaps for
half their defects. It is a quality of exuberance, of
extravagance, of what her contemporaries called 'bad
xxvi JANE EYEB
taste.' Charles Kingsley threw ' Shirley ' aside because
the opening seemed to him vulgar. Miss Martineau ex-
pressed much the same judgment on ' Villette.' And there
can be no doubt that there was in Miss Bronte a curious
vein of recklessness, roughness, one might also say—
hoydenism— that exists side by side with an exquisite
delicacy and a true dignity, and is none the less Irish
and Celtic for that. It disappears, so far as one can
see, with the publication of ' Shirley ; ' but, up till then,
it has to be reckoned with. It is conspicuous in the
whole episode of ' the curates/ both in real life and in
the pages of ' Shirley ; ' it is visible especially in
certain recently published letters to Miss Nussey,
which one could wish had been left unprinted ; and
it makes the one shadow of excuse for the inexcus-
able ' Quarterly ' article. There is one sentence in the
first chapter of ' Shirley,' which may serve both as an
illustration of this defect, and as a landmark pointing
to certain radical differences of feeling that separate
1900 from 1850. It occurs in the course of an address
•
to the reader, warning him to expect neither sentiment,
poetry, nor passion from the book before him. ' Calm
your expectations ; reduce them to a lowly standard. . . .
It is not positively affirmed that you shall not have a
taste of the exciting, perhaps towards the middle and
close of the meal, but it is resolved that the first dish
set upon the table shall be one that a Catholic — aye,
even an Anglo-Catholic —n&ght eat on Good Friday
on Passion Week : it shall be cold lentils and vinegar
without oil ; it shall be unleavened bread with bitter
herbs, and no roast lamb.9
INTBODUCTION xxvii
These lines that I have thrown into italics were
written in 1850, five years after Newman's secession,
in the midst no doubt of a swelling tide of Liberal
reaction, destined, however, as we all know now, to
interfere very little with the spread and power of those
deep undercurrents setting from the Oxford Movement.
The hasty arrogance, the failure in feeling and right
instinct, which the passage shows, mark the chief limita-
tion and weakness in the artist who wrote it. It is a
weakness of taste, a limitation, as Mr. Leslie Stephen
would perhaps insist, of thought and idea. Taken together
with the country-house scenes in ' Jane Eyre,' with some
of the curate scenes in ' Shirley,' with various passages
of raw didactic and rather shrill preaching, this utterance,
and some others like it, suggest a lack of social intel-
ligence, of a wide outlook, of that sense, above all, for
measure and urbanity which belongs to other and more
perfect art— like George Sand's— or to a more ex-
quisitely tempered instinct - like that of Burns. One
returns to Kenan's explanation : ' We Celts shall never
build a Parthenon ; marble is not for UP ' Our art is
uncertain and wavering ; liable to manj lapses and
false notes. But !— ' we lay our grip on heart and soul,
we bring up from the depths of the human spirit the
secrets of the infinite.'
Ill
The Irish and Celtic element in Charlotte Bronte,
however, is not all. Far from it. Crossing, controlling
xxviii JANE EYES
the wild impetuous temper of the Irishwoman is an
influence from another world, an influence of habit and
long association, breathed from Yorkshire, and the hard,
frugal, persistent North. One has but to climb her
Haworth hills to feel it flowing around one. Let it be
in the winter, on some frosty white-rimed day, when
the tops of the moors are lost in the cold mist, while a
dim sun steals along their sides showing the great mills
in the hollows, the ice-fringed streams, the bare half-
poisoned woods, the rows of stone cottages, while the
horse's hoofs ring sharp on the paving-stones of this
Haworth Street that mounts stern and steep, without a
relenting slope or zig-zag, heedless of the strained
muscles of man or beast, from the busy factories below
to the towered church and the little parsonage on the
hill-top. The small stone houses mount with you on
either hand, low, ugly, solid, without a trace of colour or
ornament, the decent yet unlovely homes of a sturdy
industrious race. The chimneys pour out their smoke,
the valley hums with life and toil. You stand at the top
of the hill and look around you. Manchester and the
teeming Lancashire world are behind you. Bradford
and Leeds in front of you. You can see nothing through
the sun-lit fog, save the rolling forms of the moors bear-
ing their dim ever-growing burden of houses ; but you
know that you stand in the heart of working England,
the England that goes through its labour and its play,
its trade-unionism and its football, its weaving or its
coal-mining, with equal vigour and tenacity, with all the
INTEODUCTION xxix
English love of gain and the English thirst for
success —watchful, jealous, thrifty, absorbed in this very
tangible earth, and the struggle to subdue it, stained
with many coarse and brutal things, scornful of the
dreamer and the talker, and yet, by virtue of its very
strength of striving life, its very excesses of rough force
and will, holding in its deep breast powers of passion and
of drama unsuspected even by itself.
Amid this rude full-blooded keen-brained world grew
up the four wonderful children who had survived their
fragile mother and their two elder sisters. From the
beginning they showed the Celtic qualities —the Celtic
vision that re-makes the world, throws it into groups and
pictures, seen with a magical edge and sharpness. Are
they gathered on a winter's night round the kitchen fire
with Tabby for a companion? Charlotte— a mere
child — sees the little scene as a whole, as a poet or a
painter would see it, notes the winter storm and wind
outside, the glow within, the quick-witted children, the
old servant, throws it all into a fragment of vivid
dialogue and writes it down— realised, on record, for
ever. Or a tramp, talking the language of religious mania,
comes to the door. Again Charlotte marks him, stamps
him into words, makes a permanent representative
figure out of him, a figure of the imagination. Yet all
the time there are secret bonds between these four
small creatures— the children of an Irish father and a
Cornish mother— and the stern practical Yorkshire world
about them. For they come not from the typical and
Catholic Ireland, but from the Ireland of the North, on
xxx JANE EYRE
which commerce and Protestantism have set their grasp,
the Ireland which has half yielded itself to England. In
the girls, at any rate, the Bible and Puritanism have
mingled with their Celtic blood. Economy, self-
discipline, constancy, self -repression, order,— these things
come easily to them, so far as the outer conduct of life is
concerned. They take their revenge in dreams, —in the
whims and passions of the imagination. But they cook
and clean and sew, they learn all the household arts that
their aunt and Tabby can teach them. They are docile,
hard-working, hard-living. They are poor, saving,
industrious, keenly alive to the value of money and of
work, like the world about them.
And it is this mixture of Celtic dreaming with English
realism and self-control which gives value and origi-
nality to all they do —to Emily's ' Wuthering Heights/ to
Charlotte's four stories. Lady Caroline Lamb, an
Irishwoman like Charlotte, could tear you a passion to
tatters, in ' Glenarvon/ with a certain wild power.
Take a passage at random :—
'Many -can deceive/ said Glenarvon, mournfully gazing
on Calantha whilst she wept ; ' but is your lover like the
common herd? Ohl we have loved, my gentle mistress,
better than they know how ; we have dared the utmost :
your mind and mine must not even be compared with theirs.
Let the vulgar dissefmble find fear— let them talk idly in the
unmeaning jargon they admire ; they never felt what we
have felt ; they never dared what we have done : to win, and
to betray, is with them an air— a fancy ; and fit is the
delight for the beings who can enjoy it. — But if once I show
myself again, the rabble must shrink at last ; they dare not
INTKODUCTJON xxxi
stand before Glenarvon. Heaven or hell, I care not which,
have cast a ray so bright around my brow that not all the
perfidy of a heart as lost as mine, of a heart loaded, as you
know too well, with crimes man shudders even to imagine- -
not all the envy and malice of those whom my contempt
has stung can lower me to their level. And you, Calantha,
do you think you will ever le-irn to hate me, even were I to
leave and to betray you ? — Poor blighted flower — to thy last
wretched hour thou wouldst pine in unavailing recollection
and regret; as Clytie, though bound and fettered to the
earth, still fixes her uplifted eyes upon her own sun, who
passes ovor regardless in his course, nor deigns to cast a
look below l '
This was passion, masterful passion, as a woman,
Byron's pupil, conceived it, in 1816, the year of Char-
lotte Bronte's birth. It is instructive sometimes to look
back at landmarks of this lesser kind. There is vigour
in these sentences, but compare their vague and mouthing
falsity with any conversation in Mane Eyre'— above
all, with the touches in the last scene between
Jane and Eochester. Dwell on the moment when
Jane, carrying the tray, enters the blind man's pre-
sence; notice how clear and true — with the clearness
and truth of poetry- are all the stages of recognition
and of rapture— till Eochester says :
1 Hitherto T have hated to be helped— to bo led ; hence-
forth, I feel I shall hate it no more. I did not like to put
my hand into a hireling's ; but it is pleasant to feel it circled
by Jane's little fingers. I preferred utter loneliness to the
constant attendance of servants ; but Jane's soft ministry
will be a perpetual joy. Jane suits me ; do I suit her ? '
' To tiie finest fibre of my nature, sir.' . . . Eeverently
xxxii JANE EYRE
lifting his hat from his brow, and bending his sightless eyes
to the earth, he stood in mute devotion. Only the last
words of the worship were audible.
' I thank my Maker that in the midst of judgment He
has remembered mercy. I humbly entreat my Redeemer
to give me strength to lead henceforth a purer life than I
have done hitherto/
Then he stretched out his hand to be led. I took that
dear hand, held it a moment to my lips, then let it pass
round my shoulder ; being so much lower of stature than
he, I served both for his prop and guide. We entered the
wood and wended homeward.
What feeling, and what truth !— a truth all Char-
lotte's own, not Jane Austen's nor another's— in which
we may, if we will, detect the fusion of two races, the
mingling of two worlds.
IV
As to the outer and material history of ' Jane Eyre,'
it is written to some- extent in Mrs. Gaskell's 'Life/ and
has employed the pens of many a critic and local
antiquary since. We all know that Lowood is Cowan
Bridge, that Helen Burns stands for Maria Bronte, that
' Miss Temple ' and ' Miss Scatcherd ' were drawn from
real people ; we are told that Thornfield Hall was sug-
gested by one old Yorkshire house, and Ferndean Manor
by another ; that St. John Rivers had an original :
we may take for granted that Charlotte's own experiences
as a governess have passed into the bitterness with
which the rich and 'society' are described; and- Mrs.
INTEODUCTION xxxiii
Gaskell has recorded that, according to Charlotte's own
testimony, the incident of the midnight voice heard by
Bochester and Jane was ' true ' and * really happened.'
Such identifications and researches will always have
their interest, though the artist never sees as the critic
sees, and is often filled with a secret amazement when
he or she is led back to the scene or the person which is
supposed to have furnished— which did indeed furnish
— the germ, and the clay. The student will collect these
details; the reader will do well not to pay too much
attention to them. The literary affiliations and connec-
tions of the book would be far more important and
significant if one could trace them. But they are not
easy to trace.
If one gathers together the information to be gleaned
from Mrs. Gaskell's * Life ' and elsewhere, as to Char-
lotte's book education —that voracious and continuous
reading to which we have many references, one may
arrive at a general outline, something of this kind. —
There were no children's books in Ha^orth Parsonage.
The children there were nourished upon the food of
their elders : the Bible, Shakspeare, Addison, Johnson,
Sheridan, Cowper, for the past ; Scott, Byron, Southey,
Wordsworth, Coleridge, ' Blackwood's Magazine,' * Eraser's
Magazine/ and Leigh Hunt for the moderns ; on a con-
stant supply of newspapers, Whig and Tory— Charlotte
once said to a friend that she had taken an interest in
politics since she was five years old— on current biogra-
phies, such as Lockhart's Life of Burns, Moore's Lives
of Byron and Sheridan, Southey's ' Nelson,' Wolfe's ' Be-
xxxiv JANE EYEE
mains ; ' and on miscellaneous readings of old Methodist
magazines containing visions and miraculous conver-
sions, Mrs. Eowe's 'Letters from the Dead to the
Living,' the 'British Essayists/ collected from the
' Kambler,' the ' Mirror,7 and elsewhere, and stories from
the ' Lady's Magazine.7 They breathed, therefore, as far
as books were concerned, a bracing and stimulating air
from the beginning. Nothing was softened or adapted
for them. Before little Maria, the eldest girl, died, at
the age of eleven, her father could discuss with her
any current topic in which he himself was interested, as
though she were grown-up and his equal.
The Duke of Wellington was their nursery-hero, and
Charlotte, a child of twelve, recorded at the time the
emotions with which the news of Catholic Emancipa-
tion was received at Haworth Parsonage, and spent her
leisure time at school, when she was fifteen, in fighting
a Eadical schoolfellow on behalf of the Duke and
against Reform.
Thus strongly were the foundations laid, deep in the
rich main soil of English life and letters. The force and
freedom with which these lonely girls wrote and thought
from the beginning they owed largely to this first training.
Later on*, both in Charlotte and in Emily, certain foreign
influences come in. Just as Emily certainly owed
something to Hofmann's Tales, so Charlotte probably
owed much —more, I am inclined to believe, than has yet
been recognised— to the books of French Eomanticism,
that great movement starting from Chateaubriand at
the beginning of the century, and already at its height
INTEODUCTION xxxv
before ' Jane Eyre ' was written. There are one or two
pieces of evidence that bear on this point. In 1840,
before the visit to Brussels, Charlotte writes that she
has received ' another bale of French books from G ' —
apparently from the Taylors -'containing upwards of
forty volumes. They are like the rest, clever, wicked,
sophistical, and immoral. The best of it is, that they
give one a thorough idea of France and Paris.' If these
were contemporary books, as, from the last sentence, one
might suppose they were, it is worth while to inquire
what writers were probably among them. By 1840
Victor Hugo had written ' Marion Delorme/ ' Hernani/
'Le Roi s'amufle/ 'Ruy Bias/ six volumes of poems,
'Notre Dame de Paris/ and much else. Alfred de
Musset, who was thirty in 1840, had done all his work
of any importance, and sunk into premature exhaustion ;
'Premieres Poesies/ ' Rolla/ ' Confession d'un Enfant du
Siecle/ ' Espoir en Dieu ' — were they in the packet that
reached Charlotte in 1840? George Sand, making her
first great success with ' Indiana ' in 1832, had produced
* Valentine/ Lelia/ ' Jacques/ ' Leone Leoni/ ' Andre/
' Mauprat/ and some others. Balzac, herald of another
age and another world, had been ten years at work on
the 'Comedie Humaine/ We know, however, from a
letter of Charlotte's in 1848, that she never read a
novel of Balzac's till after the publication of ' Jane Eyre.'
But she did read George Sand, as the same letter
informs us, and the influence of that great romantic
artist in whom restless imagination went hand in hand
with a fine and chosen realism, was probably of some
xxxvi JANE EYRE
true importance in the development of Charlotte Bronte's
genius. During her two years in Brussels, under the
teaching of M. Heger — who gave her passages from
Victor Hugo to study as models of style, and was
himself a keen reader, critic, and lecturer — there' can be
little question that she made wide acquaintance with the
French books of the day, and it was the day of Victor
Hugo, Alfred de Musset, and George Sand. It has not
yet, I think, been pointed out that there is in ' Jacques *
— a novel written in 1834 — a very curious anticipation
of the cry of Rochester to Jane. The passage occurs in
a letter from Sylvia, the sisterly friend, to Jacques, about
to become the husband of Pernande : —
Mon &me est habitude a vivre seule, Dieu le veut ainsi ;
que vient faire la tienne dans ma solitude? Viens-tu
m'avertir de quelque danger, ou in'annoncer quelque malheur
plus 6pouvantable quc tous ceux auxquels a suffi mon
courage ? L'autre soir j'&tais assise au pied de la montagne ;
le ciel etait voile, et le vent gemissait dans les arbres; j'ai
entendu distinctement, au milieu de ces sons d'une trisle
harmonie, le son de ta voix. Elle a jet6 trois ou quatre notes
dans 1'espace, faibles, mais si pures et si saisissables que j'ai
6te voir les buissons d'ofr elle 6tait partie pour m'assurer que
tu n'y etais pas. Ces choses-la m'ont rarement trompee;
Jacques, il faut qu'il y ait un orage sur nos tetes.
The suggestion, the romantic suggestion of these
sentences may very possibly have come in Charlotte
Bronte's way, may have mingled with, perhaps given
birth to, some later fancy or experience, of which she
spoke to Mrs. Gaskell, and so found shape ultimately in
the thrilling scene of ' Jane Eyre.' Of direct imitation
INTRODUCTION xxxvii
of George Sand there is nowhere any trace ; but in
certain parts of ' Shirley/ in the ' Marriage of Genius
and Humanity/ for instance, the stimulating influence
of certain famous passages in ( Lelia ' suggests itself
readily ; and throughout ' Villette ' there is constantly
something in her mode of approaching her subject, even
in the turn of the sentences, especially in the use of
participles, which is French rather than English. All
the books testify to her pride in her French culture.
She had won it at great cost ; it had opened fresh
worlds to her, and she makes free use of it in numerous
scenes of ' Shirley ' and * Villette/ and in the whole por-
traiture of the Moores.
The differences, of course, between her and the
author of ' Jacques ' are great and fundamental. Char-
lotte Bronte's main stuff is English, Protestant, law-
respecting, conventional even. No judgment was ever
more foolish than that which detected a social rebel in
the writer of ' Jane Eyre.' She thought the French
books, as we have seen, ' clever, wicked, sophistical, and
immoral.' But she read them ; and for all her revolt
from them, they quickened and fertilised her genius.
More than this. The influence which she absorbed from
them has given her a special place in our literature of
imagination. She stands between Jane Austen, the
gentle and witty successor of Miss Burney and Kichard-
son, and George Eliot, upon whom played influences of
quite another kind — German, critical, scientific — repre-
senting the world which succeeded the world of ' Hernani.'
Midway appears the work of Charlotte Bronte, linked
xxxviii JANE EYRE
in various significant ways with the French romantic
movement, which began with ' Atala ' in 1801, and had
run its course abroad before 1847, the year of ' Jane
Eyre.' One may almost say of it, indeed, that it belongs
more to the European than to the special English tra-
dition. For all its strongly marked national and pro-
vincial elements, it was very early understood and
praised in France ; and it was of a French critic, and a
French critic only, that Charlotte Bronte said with grati-
tude, in the case of Shirley, 'he follows Currer Bell
through every winding, discerns every point, dis-
criminates every shade, proves himself master of the
subject, and lord of the aim.'
MAEY A, WARD,
Facsimile of the Title-page of tlw First Edition
JANE EYRE.
EDITED BY
CURREfi BELL
IN THREE VOLUMES
VOL. I.
LONDON:
SMITH, ELDER, AND CO., CORNHILL.
1847.
TO
W. M. THACKERAY, ESQ.
IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED
BY
THE AUTHOJE4
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
A PREFACE to the first edition of ' Jane Eyre ' being unneces-
sary, I gave none : this second edition demands a few words
both of acknou ledgment and miscellaneous remark.
My thanks are due in three quarters.
To the Public, for the indulgent ear it has inclined to a
plain tale with few pretensions.
To the Press, for the fair field its honest suffrage has
opened to an obscure aspirant.
• To my Publishers, for the aid their tact, their energy,
their practical sense, and frank liberality have afforded an
unknown and unrecommended Author.
The Press and the Public are but vague personifications
for me, and I must thank them in vague terms ; but my
Publishers are definite : so are certain generous critics wno
have encouraged me as only large-hearted and high-minded
men know how to encourage a struggling stranger ; to them,
i.e. to my Publishers and the select Beviewers, I say
cordially, Gentlemen, I thank you from my heart.
Having thus acknowledged what I owe those who have
aided and approved me, I turn to another class ; a small
one, so far as I know, but not, therefore, to be overlooked.
I mean the timorous or carping few who doubt the
tendency of such books as ' Jane Eyre : ' in whose eyes
JANE EYRE
CHAPTEE I
THERE was no possibility of taking a walk that day. We
had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an
hour in the morning ; but since dinner (Mrs. Keed, when
there was no company, dined early) the cold winter wind
had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so pene-
trating, that further outdoor exercise was now out of the
question.
I was glad of it : I never liked long walks, especially on
chilly afternoons : dreadful to me was the coming home in
the raw twilight, with nipped fingers and toes, and a heart
saddened by the chidings of Bessie, the nurse, and humbled
by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to Eliza,
John, and Georgiana Eeed.
The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered
round their mamma in the drawing-room : she lay reclined
on the sofa by the fireside, and with her darlings about her
(for the time neither quarrelling nor crying) looked perfectly
happy. Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;
saying, ' She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping
me at a distance ; but that until she heard from Bessie and
could discover by her own observation that I was endeavour-
ing in good earnest to acquire "a more sociable and childlike
disposition, a more attractive and sprightly manner — some-
thing lighter, franker, more natural, as it were — she really
must exclude me from privileges intended only for contented,
happy, little children.'
2 JANE EYRE
1 What does Bessie say I have done ? ' I asked.
' Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners : besides, there
is something truly forbidding in a child taking up her elders
in that manner. Be seated somewhere ; and until you can
speak pleasantly, remain silent/
A small breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room. I
slipped in there. It contained a bookcase : I soon possessed
myself of a volume, taking care that it should be one stored
with pictures. I mounted into the window-seat : gathering
up my feet, I sat cross-legged like a Turk ; and, having
drawn the red moreen curtain nearly close, I was shrined in
double retirement.
Folds of scarlet drapery shut in my view to the right
hand ; to the left were the clear panes of glass, protecting,
but not separating me from the drear November day. At
intervals, while turning over the leaves of my book, I studied
the aspect of that winter afternoon. Afar, it offered a pale
blank of mist and cloud ; near, a scene of wet lawn and
storm-beat shrub, with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly
before a long and lamentable blast.
I returned to my book — Bewick's 'History of British
Birds ' : the letterpress thereof I cared little for, generally
speaking; and yet there were certain introductory pages
that, child as I was, I could not pass quite as a blank. They
were those which treat of the haunts of sea-fowl ; of ' the
solitary rocks and promontories ' by them only inhabited ;
of the coast of Norway, studded with isles from its southern
extremity, the Lindeness, or Naze, to the North Gape —
Where the Northern Ocean, in vast whirls,
Boils round the naked, melancholy isles
Of farthest Thule ; and the Atlantic surge
Pours in among the stormy Hebrides.
Nor could I pass unnoticed the suggestion of the bleak shores
of Lapland, Siberia, Spitzbergen, Nova Zembla, Iceland,
Greenland, with ' the vast sweep of the Arctic Zone, and
those forlorn regions of dreary space — that reservoir of frost
JANE EYEB 3
and snow, wheie firm fields of ice, the accumulation of
centuries of winters, glazed in Alpine heights above heights,
surround the pole, and concentre the multiplied rigors of
extreme cold/ Of these death-white realms I formed an
idea of my own : shadowy, like all the half -comprehended
notions that float dim through children's brains, but strangely
impressive. The words in these introductory pages con-
nected themselves with the succeeding vignettes, and gave
significance to the rock standing up alone in a sea of billow
and spray ; to the broken boat stranded on a desolate coast ;
to the cold and ghastly moon glancing through bars of cloud
at a wreck just sinking.
I cannot tell what sentiment haunted the quite solitary
churchyard, with its inscribed headstone; its gate, its
two trees, its low horizon, girdled by a broken wall,
and its newly-risen crescent, attesting the hour of even-
tide.
The two ships becalmed on a torpid sea I believed to be
marine phantoms.
The fiend pinning down the thief's pack behind him
I passed over quickly : it was an object of terror.
So was the black, horned thing seated aloof on a rock,
surveying a distant crowd surrounding a gallows.
Each picture told a story; mysterious often to my
undeveloped understanding and imperfect feelings, yet ever
profoundly interesting: as interesting as the tales Bessie
sometimes narrated on winter evenings, when she chanced
to be in good humour ; and when, having brought her ironing-
table to the nursery-hearth, she allowed us to sit about it,
and while she got up Mrs. Eeed's lace frills, and crimped
her night-cap borders, fed our eager attention with passages
of love and adventure taken from old fairy tales and older
ballads ; or (as at a later period I discovered) from the pages
of ' Pamela/ and ' Henry, Earl of Moreland/
With Bewick on my knee, I was then happy : happy at
least in my way. I feared nothing but interruption, and
that came too soon. The breakfast-room door opened.
i JANE EYEE
' Boh ! Madame Mope ! ', cried the voice of John Eeed ;
then he paused : he found the room apparently empty.
' Where the dickens is she ? ' he continued. ' Lizzy !
Georgy ! (calling to his sisters) Joan is not here : tell mamma
she is run out into the rain — bad animal ! '
' It is well I drew the curtain/ thought I ; and I wished
fervently he might not discover my hiding-place : nor would
John Beed have found it out himself ; he was not quick
either of vision or conception ; but Eliza just put her head
in at the door, and said at once : — * She is in the window-
seat, to be sure, Jack.1
And I came out immediately, for I trembled at the idea
of being dragged forth by the said Jack.
' What do you want ? ' I asked, with awkward diffi-
dence.
'Say, "what do you want, Master Beed?"' was the
answer. ' I want you to come here ; ' and sitting himself
in an arm-chair, he intimated by a gesture that I was to
approach and stand before him.
John Beed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old ; four
years older than I, for I was but ten ; large and stout for
his age, with a dingy and unwholesome skin; thick
lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and large ex-
tremities. He gorged himself habitually at table, which
made him bilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and
flabby cheeks. He ought now to have been at school ; but
his mamma had taken him home for a month or two, ' on
account of his delicate health.1 Mr. Miles, the master,
affirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes
and sweetmeats sent him from home; but the mother's
heart turned from an opinion so harsh, and inclined rather
to the more refined idea that John's sallowness was owing
to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after home.
John had not much affection for his mother and sisters,
and an antipathy to me. He bullied and punished me ; not
two or three times in the week, nor once or twice in the day,
but continually : every nerve I had feared him, and every
JANE EYEE 6
morsel of flesh on my bones shrank when he came near.
There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror
he inspired, because I had no appeal whatever against
either his menaces or his inflictions ; the servants did not
like to offend their young master by taking my part against
him, and Mrs. Eeed was blind and deaf on the subject : she
never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he
did both now and then in her very presence ; more
frequently, however, behind her back.
Habitually obedient to John, I came up to his chair : he
spent some three minutes in thrusting out his tongue at me
as far as he could without damaging the roots : I knew he
would soon strike, and while dreading the blow, I mused
on the disgusting and ugly appearance of him who would
presently deal it. I wonder if he read that notion in my
face ; for, all at once, without speaking, he struck suddenly
and strongly. I tottered, and on regaining my equilibrium
retired back a step or two from his chair.
'That is for your impudence in answering mamma
awhile since,1 said he, ' and for your sneaking way of getting
behind curtains, and for the look you had in your eyes two
minutes since, you rat ! '
Accustomed to John Reed's abuse, I never had an idea
of replying to it ; my care was how to endure the blow
which would certainly follow the insult.
1 What were you doing behind the curtain ? ' he
asked.
' I was reading.'
' Show the book/
I returned to the window and fetched it thence.
' You have no business to take our books ; you are a
dependent, mamma says ; you have no money ; your father
left you none ; you ought to beg, and not to live here with
gentlemen's children like us, and eat the same meals we
do, and wear clothes at our mamma's expense. Now, I'll
teach you to rummage my book-shelves : for they are
mine ; all the house belongs to me, or will do in a few years.
6 JANE BYEE
60 and stand by the door, out of the way of the mirror and
the windows.'
I did so, not at first aware what was his intention ; but
when I saw him lift and poise the book and stand in act to
hurl it, I instinctively started aside with a cry of alarm : not
soon enough, however ; the volume was flung, it hit me, and
I fell, striking my head against the door and cutting it. The
cut bled, the pain was sharp: my terror had passed its
climax ; other feelings succeeded.
' Wicked and cruel boy ! ' I said. ' You are like a
murderer — you are like a slave-driver — you are like the
Boman emperors ! '
I had read Goldsmith's 'History of Borne,' and had
formed my opinion of Nero, Caligula, &c. Also I had drawn
parallels in silence, which I never thought thus to have
declared aloud.
'What! what!' he cried. 'Did she say that to me?
Did you hear her, Eliza and Georgiana ? Won't I tell mamma ?
but first '
He ran headlong at me : I felt him grasp my hair and
my shoulder: he had closed with a desperate thing. I
really saw in him a tyrant : a murderer. I felt a drop or
two of blood from my head trickle down my neck, and was
sensible of somewhat pungent suffering: these sensations
for the time predominated over fear, and I received him in
frantic sort. I don't very well know what I did with my
hands, but he called me ' Bat ! rat ! ' and bellowed out
aloud. Aid was near him : Eliza and Georgiana had run
for Mrs. Beed, who was gone upstairs ; she now came upon
the scene, followed by Bessie and her maid Abbot. We
were parted: I heard the words :—' Dear 1 dear! What a
fury to fly at Master John ! '
' Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion 1 '
Then Mrs. Beed subjoined : — ' Take her away to the red-
room, and lock her in there.' Four hands were immediately
laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs.
JANE EYBE
CHAPTEE II
I BBSISTED all the way : a new thing for me, and a circum-
stance which greatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie
and Miss Abbot were disposed to entertain of me. The fact
is, I was a trifle beside myself ; or rather out of myself, as
the French would say : I was conscious that a moment's
mutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties,
and, like any other rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my despera-
tion, to go all lengths.
* Hold her arms, Miss Abbot : she's like a mad cat/
1 For shame ! for shame ! ' cried the lady's-maid. ' What
shocking conduct, Miss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman,
your benefactress's son ! Your young master.'
1 Master I How is he my master ? Am I a servant ? '
1 No ; you are less than a servant, for you do nothing for
your keep. There, sit down, and think over your wicked-
ness.'
They had got me by this time into the apartment
indicated by Mrs. Eeed, and had thrust me upon a stool :
my impulse was to rise from it like a spring; their two
pairs of hands arrested me instantly.
'If you don't sit still, you must be tied down,' said
Bessie. 'Miss Abbot, lend me your garters; she would
break mine directly.'
Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary
ligature. This preparation for bonds, and the additional
ignominy it inferred, took a little of the excitement out of me.
1 Don't take them off,' I cried ; ' I will not stir.'
In guarantee whereof I attached myself to my seat by
my hands.
8 JANE EYRE
' Mind you don't/ said Bessie ; and when she had ascer-
tained that I was really subsiding, she loosened her hold
of me; then she and Miss Abbot stood with folded arms,
looking darkly and doubtfully on my face, as incredulous
of my sanity.
' She never did so before/ at last said Bessie, turning to
the Abigail.
' But it was always in her/ was the reply. ' I've told
Missis often my opinion about the child, and Missis agreed
with me. She's an underhand little thing : I never saw a
girl of her age with so much cover.' v
Bessie answered not ; but ere long, addressing me, she
said:
1 You ought to be aware, Miss, that you are under obliga-
tions to Mrs. Eeed : she keeps you : if she were to turn you
off, you would have to go to the poor-house.'
I had nothing to say to these words : they were not new
to me : my very first recollections of existence included
hints of the same kind. This reproach of my dependence
had become a vague sing-song in my ear ; very painful and
crushing, but only half intelligible. Miss Abbot joined in : --
' And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with
the Misses Heed and Master Eeed, because Missis kindly
allows you to be brought up with them. They will have a
great deal of money, and you will have none : it is your
place to be humble, and to try to make yourself agreeable
to them.'
1 What we tell you is for your good/ added Bessie, in no
harsh voice : ' you should try to be useful and pleasant,
then, perhaps, you would have a home here ; but if you
become passionate and rude, Missis will send you away, I
am sure.'
' Besides/ said Miss Abbot, ' God will punish her : He
might strike her dead in the midst of her tantrums, and
then where would she go? Gome, Bessie, we will leave
her: I wouldn't have her heart for anything. Say your
prayers, Miss Eyre, when you are by yourself ; for if you
JANE EYEE 9
don't repent, something bad might be permitted to come
down the chimney, and fetch you away.'
They went, shutting the door, and locking it behind
them.
The red-room was a spare chamber, very seldom slept
in ; I might say never, indeed, unless when a chance influx
of visitors at Gateshead Hall rendered it necessary to turn
to account all the accommodation 'it contained : yet it was
one of the largest and stateliest chambers in the mansion.
A bed supported on massive pillars of mahogany, hung with
curtains of deep red damask, stood out like a tabernacle in
the centre ; the two large windows, with their blinds always
drawn down, were half shrouded in festoons and falls of
similar drapery ; the carpet was red : the table at the foot
of the bed was covered with a crimson cloth; the walls
were a soft fawn colour, with a blush of pink in it ; the
wardrobe, the toilet-table, the chairs were of darkly-polished
old mahogany. Out of these deep surrounding shades rose
high, and glared white, the piled-up mattresses and pillows
of the bed, spread with a snowy Marseilles counterpane.
Scarcely less prominent was an ample, cushioned easy-chair
near the head of the bed, also white, with a footstool before
it ; and looking, as I thought, like a pale throne.
This room was chill, because it seldom had a fire ; it was
silent, because remote from the nursery and kitchens;
solemn, because it was known to be so seldom entered.
The housemaid alone came here on Saturdays, to wipe from
the mirrors and the furniture a week's quiet dust : and Mrs.
Eeed herself, at far intervals, visited it to review the contents
of a certain secret drawer in the wardrobe, where were stored
divers parchments, her jewel-casket, and a miniature of her
deceased husband ; and in those last words lies the secret
of the red-room — the spell which kept it so lonely in spite of
its grandeur.
Mr. Eeed had been dead nine years : it was in this
chamber he breathed his last ; here he lay in state ; hence
his coffin was borne by the undertaker's men ; and, since
10 JANE BYBE
that day, a sense of dreary consecration had guarded it from
frequent intrusion.
My seat, to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had
left me riveted, was a low ottoman near the marble chimney-
piece ; the bed rose before me ; to my right hand there was
the high, dark wardrobe, with subdued, broken reflections
varying the gloss of its panels ; to my left were the muffled
windows ; a great looking-glass between them repeated the
vacant majesty of the bed and room. I was not quite sure
whether they had locked the door ; and, when I dared move,
I got up, and went to see. Alas ! yes : no jail was ever
more secure. Beturning, I had to cross before the looking-
glass ; my fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth
it revealed. All looked colder and darker in that visionary
hollow than in reality : and the strange little figure there
gazing at me, with a white face and arms specking the
gloom, and glittering eyes of fear moving where all else was
still, had the effect of a real spirit : I thought it like one of
the tiny phantoms, half fairy, half imp, Bessie's evening
stories represented as coming out of lone, ferny dells in
moors, and appearing before the eyes of belated travellers.
I returned to my stool.
Superstition was with me at that moment ; but it was
not yet her hour for complete victory : my blood was still
warm ; the mood of the revolted slave was still bracing me
with its bitter vigour ; I had to stem a rapid rush of retro-
spective thought before I quailed to the dismal present.
All John Seed's violent tyrannies, all his sisters' proud
indifference, all his mother's aversion, all the servants' par-,
tiality, turned up in my disturbed mind like a dark deposit
in a turbid well. Why was I always suffering, always
browbeaten, always accused, for ever condemned? Why
could I never please ? Why was it useless to try to win any
one's favour? Eliza, who was headstrong and selfish, was
respected. Georgiana, who had a spoiled temper, a very
acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage, was universally
indulged. Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls,
JANE EYBE 11
seemed to give delight to all who looked at her, and to
purchase indemnity for every fault. John, no one thwarted,
much less punished ; though he twisted the necks of the
pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks, set the dogs at the
sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of then: fruit, and broke
the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he
called his mother ' old girl,' too ; sometimes reviled her for
her dark skin, similar to his own ; bluntly disregarded her
wishes ; not unfrequently tore and spoiled her silk attire ;
and he was still 'her own darling/ I dared commit no
fault; I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed
naughty and tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning
to noon, and from noon to night.
My head «trill ached and bled with the blow and fall
I had received : no one had reproved John for wantonly
striking me ; and because I had turned against him to
avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with general
opprobrium.
1 Unjust ! — unjust ! ' said my reason, forced by the
agonising stimulus into precocious though transitory
power ; and Eesolve, equally wrought up, instigated some
strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable
oppression — as running away, or, if that could not be
effected, never eating or drinking more, and letting myself
die.
What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary
afternoon I How all my brain was in tumult, and all my
heart in insurrection ! Yet in what darkness, what dense
ignorance, was the mental battle fought 1 I could not
answer the ceaseless inward question — why I thus suffered ;
now, at the distance of — I will not say how many years, I
see it clearly.
I was a discord in Gateshead Hall ; I was like nobody
there; I had nothing in harmony with Mrs. Eeed or her
children, or her chosen vassalage. If they did not love me,
in fact, as little did I love them. They were not bound to
regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with
12 JANE EYBE
one amongst them ; a heterogeneous thing, opposed to them
in temperament, in capacity, in propensities ; a useless thing,
incapable of serving their interest, or adding to their
pleasure ; a noxious thing, cherishing the germs of indigna-
tion at their treatment, of contempt of their judgment. I
know that had I been a sanguine, brilliant, careless, exacting,
handsome, romping child — though equally dependent and
friendless — Mrs. Eeed would have endured my presence
more complacently ; her children would have entertained
for me more of the cordiality of fellow-feeling ; the servants
would have been less prone to make me the scapegoat of
the nursery.
Daylight began to forsake the red-room ; it was past four
o'clock, and the beclouded afternoon was tending to drear
twilight. I heard the rain still beating continuously on the
staircase window, and the wind howling in the grove behind
the hall ; I grew by degrees cold as a stone, and then my
courage sank. My habitual mood of humiliation, self-doubt,
forlorn depression, fell damp on the embers of my decaying
ire. All said I was wicked, and perhaps I might be so :
what thought had I been but just conceiving of starving
myself to death ? That certainly was a crime : and was I
fit to die ? Or was the vault under the chancel of Gateshead
Church an inviting bourne ? In such vault I had been told
did Mr. Eeed lie buried ; and led by this thought to recall
his idea, I dwelt on it with gathering dread. I could not re-
member him ; but I knew that he was my own uncle — my
mother's brother — that he had taken me when a parentless
infant to his house ; and that in his last moments he had
required a promise of Mrs. Eeed that she would rear and
maintain me as one of her own children. Mrs. Eeed probably
considered she had kept this promise ; and so she had, I
dare say, as well as her nature would permit her ; but how
could she really like an interloper not of her race, and un-
connected with her, after her husband's death, by any tie?
It must have been most irksome to find herself bound by a
hard-wrung pledge to stand in the stead of a parent to a
JANE EYEE 13
strange child she could not love, and to see an uncongenial
alien permanently intruded on her own family group.
A singular notion dawned upon me. I doubted not —
never doubted — that if Mr. Keed had been alive ho would
have treated me kindly ; and now, as I sat looking at the
white bed and overshadowed walls— occasionally also turning
a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaming mirror — I began
to recall what I had heard of dead men, troubled in their
graves by the violation of their last wishes, revisiting the
earth to punish the perjured and avenge the oppressed ; and
I thought Mr. Reed's spirit, harassed by the wrongs of his
sister's child, might quit its abode — whether in the church
vault, or in the unknown woild of the departed — and rise
before me in this chamber. I wiped my tears and hushed
my sobs, fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken a
preternatural voice to comfort me, or elicit from the gloom
some haloed face, bending over me with strange pity. This
idea, consolatory in theory, I felt would be terrible if realised :
with all my might I endeavoured to stifle it— I endeavoured
to be firm. Shaking my hair from my eyes, I lifted my head
and tried to look boldly round the dark room. At this
moment a light gleamed on the wall. Was it, I asked my-
self, a ray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the
blind ? No ; moonlight was still, and this stirred ; while I
gazed, it glided up to the ceiling and quivered over my head.
I can now conjecture readily that this streak of light was, in
all likelihood, a gleam from a lantern, carried by some one
across the lawn : but then, prepared as my mind was for
horror, shaken as my nerves were by agitation, I thought
the swift-darting beam was a herald of some coming vision
from another world. My heart beat thick, my head grew
hot ; a sound filled my ears, which I deemed the rushing of
wings : something seemed near me ; I was oppressed, suffo-
cated : endurance broke down ; I rushed to the door and shook
the lock in desperate effort. Steps came running along the
outer passage ; the key turned, Bessie and Abbot entered.
1 Miss Eyre, are you ill ? ' said Bessie.
14 JANE EYEE
1 What a dreadful noise ! it went quite through me ! '
exclaimed Abbot.
'Take me out! let me go into the nursery I ' was my cry.
' What for ? Are you hurt ? Have you seen something ? '
again demanded Bessie.
' Oh ! I saw a light, and I thought a ghost would come.'
I had now got hold of Bessie's hand, and she did not snatch
it from me.
' She has screamed out on purpose/ declared Abbot, in
some disgust. ( And what a scream ! If she had been in
great pain one would have excused it, but she only wanted
to bring us all here : I know her naughty tricks/
' What is all this ? ' demanded another voice, peremp-
torily; and Mrs. Keed came along the corridor, her cap
flying wide, her gown rustling stormily. ' Abbot and Bessie,
I believe I gave orders that Jane Eyre should be left in the
red-room till I came to her myself/
' Miss Jane screamed so loud, ma'am/ pleaded Bessie.
'Let her go/ was the only answer. 'Loose Bessie's
hand, child: you cannot succeed in getting out by these
means, be assured. I abhor artifice, particularly in chil-
dren ; it is my duty to show you that tricks will not answer :
you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on
condition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall
liberate you then/
' Oh aunt, have pity ! Forgive me ! I cannot endure it
— let me be punished some other way ! I shall be killed
if f
' Silence ! This violence is all most repulsive : ' and so,
no doubt, she felt it. I was a precocious actress in her eyes :
she sincerely looked on me as a compound of virulent pas-
sions, mean spirit, and dangerous duplicity.
Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Eeed, impatient
of my now frantic anguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me
back and locked me in, without farther parley. I heard her
sweeping away ; and soon after she was gone I suppose I
had a species of fit : unconsciousness closed the scene.
JANE EYEE 15
CHAPTEB III
THE next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as
if I had had a frightful nightmare, and seeing before me a
terrible red glare, crossed with thick black bars. I heard
voices, too, speaking with a hollow sound, as if muffled by a
rush of wind or water : agitation, uncertainty, and an all-
predominating sense of terror confused my faculties. Ere
long I became aware that some one was handling me ; lifting
me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more
tenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before. I
rested my head against a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.
In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dis-
solved : I knew quite well that I was in my own bed, and
that the red glare was the nursery fire. It was night : a
candle burnt on the table ; Bessie stood at the bed-foot with
a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my
pillow, leaning over me.
I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of
protection and security, when I knew that there was a
stranger in the room, an individual not belonging to Gates-
head, and not related to Mrs. Eeed. Turning from Bessie
(though her presence was far less obnoxious to me than that
of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the
face of the gentleman : I knew him ; it was Mr. Lloyd, an
apothecary, sometimes called in by Mrs. Eeed when the ser-
vants were ailing : for herself and the children she employed
a physician.
1 Well, who am I ? ' he asked.
I pronounced his name, offering him at the same time
my hand : he took it, smiling and saying, ' We shall do very
16 JANE EYEE
well by-and-by.' Then he laid me down, and addressing
Bessie, charged her to be very careful that I was not dis-
turbed during the night. Having given some further direc-
tions, and intimated that he should call again the next day,
he departed — to my grief : I felt so sheltered and befriended
while he sat in the chair near my pillow ; and as he closed
the door after him all the room darkened and my heart
again sank : inexpressible sadness weighed it down.
' Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss ? ' asked Bessie,
rather softly.
Scarcely dared I answer her; for I feared the next
sentence might be rough. ' I will try/
1 Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything? '
' No, thank you, Bessie.1
' Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve
o'clock ; but you may call me if you want anything in the
night/
Wonderful civility this ! It emboldened me to ask a
question.
1 Bessie, what is the matter with me ? Am I ill ? '
1 You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying ;
you'll be better soon, no doubt/
Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was
near. I heard her say — * Sarah, come and sleep with me in
the nursery ; I daren't for my life be alone with that poor
child to-night ; she might die ; it's such a strange thing she
should have that fit : I wonder if she saw anything. Missis
was rather too hard/
Sarah came back with her ; they both went to bed ; they
were whispering together for half an hour before they fell
asleep. I caught scraps of their conversation, from which
I was able only too distinctly to infer the main subject
discussed.
1 Something passed her, all dressed in white, and
vanished* — 'A great black dog behind him' — 'Three loud
raps on the chamber door '-*-1 A light in the churchyard just
over his grave '— &c. &c.
JANE EYBE 17
At last both slept : the fire and the candle went out.
For me, the watches of that long night passed in ghastly
wakefulness; ear, eye, and mind were alike strained by
dread : such dread as children only can feel.
No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this
incident of the red-room : it only gave my nerves a shock,
of which I feel the reverberation to this day. Yes, Mrs.
Eeed, to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental suffering.
But I ought to forgive you, for you knew not what you did :
while rending my heart-strings, you thought you were only
uprooting my bad propensities.
Next day, by noon, I was up and dressed, and sat wrapped
in a shawl by the nursery hearth. I felt physically weak
and broken down ; but my worse ailment was an unutterable
wretchedness of mind : a wretchedness which kept drawing
from me silent tears ; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop
from my cheek than another followed. Yet I thought I
ought to have been happy, for none of the Eeeds were there,
they were all gone out in the carriage with their mamma :
Abbot, too, was sewing in another room, and Bessie, as she
moved hither and thither, putting away toys and arranging
drawers, addressed to me every now and then a word of un-
wonted kindness. This state of things should have been to
me a paradise of peace, accustomed as I was to a life of
ceaseless reprimand and thankless fagging ; but, in fact, my
racked nerves were now in such a state that no calm could
soothe, and no pleasure excite them agreeably.
Bessie had been down into the kitchen, and she brought
up with her a tart on a certain brightly painted china' plate,
whose bird of paradise, nestling in a wreath of convolvuli
and rosebuds, had been wont to stir in me a most enthu-
siastic sense of admiration ; and which plate I had often
petitioned to be allowed to take in my hand in order to
examine it more closely, but had always hitherto been
deemed unworthy of such a privilege. This precious vessel
was now placed on my knee, and I was cordially invited to
eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it. Vain favour!
18 JANE EYBE
coming, like most other favours long deferred and often
wished for, too late ! I could not eat the tart : and the
plumage of the bird, the tints of the flowers, seemed strangely
faded : I put both plate and tart away. Bessie asked if I
would have a book : the word book acted as a transient
stimulus, and I begged her to fetch ' Gulliver's Travels ' from
the library. This book I had again and again perused with
delight. I considered it a narrative of facts, and discovered
in it a vein of interest deeper than what I found in fairy
tales : for as to the elves, having sought them in vain among
foxglove leaves and bells, under mushrooms and beneath the
ground-ivy mantling old wall-nooks, I had at length made
up my mind to the sad truth, that they were all gone out of
England to some savage country where the woods were
wilder and thicker, and the population more scant ; whereas,
Liliput and Brobdingnag being, in my creed, solid parts of
the earth's surface, I doubted not that I might one day, by
taking a long voyage, see with my own eyes the little fields,
houses, and trees, the diminutive people, the tiny cows,
sheep, and birds of the one realm ; and the corn-fields forest-
high, the mighty mastiffs, the monster cats, the tower-like
men and women, of the other. Yet when this cherished
volume was now placed in my hand — when I turned over its
leaves, and sought in its marvellous pictures the charm I had,
till now, never failed to find — all was eerie and dreary ; the
giants were gaunt goblins, the pigmies malevolent and
fearful imps, Gulliver a most desolate wanderer in most
dread and dangerous regions. I closed the book, which I
dared no longer peruse, and put it on the table, beside the
untasted tart.
Bessie had now finished dusting and tidying the room,
and having washed her hands, she opened a certain little
drawer, full of splendid shreds of silk and satin, and began
making a new bonnet for Georgiana's doll. Meantime she
sang : her song was —
In the days when we went gipsying,
A long time ago.
JANE EYEE 19
I had often heard the song before, and always with lively
delight ; for Bessie had a sweet voice— at least I thought so.
But now, though her voice was still sweet, I found in its
melody an indescribable sadness. Sometimes, preoccupied
with her work, she sang the refrain very low, very lingerly ;
' A long time ago ' came out like the saddest cadence of a
funeral hymn. She passed into another ballad, this time a
really doleful one.
My feet they are sore, and my limbs they are weary ;
Long is the way, and the mountains are wild ;
Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary
Over the path of the poor orphan child.
Why did they send me so far and so lonely,
Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled ?
Men are hard-hearted, and kind angels only
Watch o'er the steps of a poor orphan child.
Yet distant and soft the night-breeze is blowing,
Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild ;
God, in His mercy, protection is showing,
Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child.
Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing,
Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled,
Still will my Father, with promise and blessing,
Take to His bosom the poor orphan child.
There is a thought that for strength should avail me,
Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled ;
Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me ;
God is a friend to the poor orphan child.
' Come, Miss Jane, don't cry,1 said Bessie, as she finished.
She might as well have said to the fire, ' don't burn ! ' but
how could she divine the morbid suffering to which I was a
prey ? In the course of the morning Mr. Lloyd came again.
* What, already up ! ' said he, as he entered the nursery.
1 Well, nurse, how is she ? '
Bessie answered that I was doing very well.
'Then she ought to look more cheerful. Gome here,
Miss Jane ; your name is Jane, is it not ? '
20 JANE EYRE
' Yes, sir, Jane Eyre.'
1 Well, you have been crying, Miss Jane Eyre ; can you
tell me what about ? Have you any pain ? '
• No, sir/
' Oh ! I daresay she is crying because she could not go
out with Missis in the carriage/ interposed Bessie.
1 Surely not ! why, she is too old for such pettishness/
I thought so too ; and my self-esteem being wounded by
the false charge, I answered promptly, ' I never cried for
such a thing in my life : I hate going out in the carriage. I
cry because I am miserable/
' Oh fie, Miss ! ' said Bessie.
The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled. I was
standing before him ; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily :
his eyes were small and grey : not very bright, but I daresay
I should think them shrewd now : he had a hard-featured
yet good-natured looking face. Having considered me at
leisure, he said : ' What made you ill yesterday ? '
' She had a fall/ said Bessie, again putting in her word.
' Fall ! why that is like a baby again ! Can't she manage
to walk at her age ? She must be eight or nine years old/
' I was knocked down/ was the blunt explanation jerked
out of me by another pang of mortified pride : ' but that did
not make me ill/ I added ; while Mr. Lloyd helped himself
to a pinch of snuff.
As he was returning the box to his waistcoat pocket, a
loud bell rang for the servants' dinner ; he knew what it
was. ' That's for you, nurse/ said he ; ' you can go down ;
I'll give Miss Jane a lecture till you come back/
Bessie would rather have stayed, but she was obliged to
go, because punctuality at meals was rigidly enforced at
Gateshead Hall.
' The fall did not make you ill ; what did, then ? ' pursued
Mr. Lloyd, when Bessie was gone.
' I was shut up in a room where there is a ghost till
after dark/
I saw Mr. Lloyd smile and frown at the same time :
JANE EYKE 21
'Ghost ! What, you are a baby after all 1 You are afraid
of ghosts?'
' Of Mr. Heed's ghost I am : he died in that room, and
was laid out there. Neither Bessie nor any one else will go
into it at night, if they can help it ; and it was cruel to shut
me up alone without a candle, — so cruel that I think I shall
never forget it/
'Nonsense! And is it that makes you so miserable?
Are you afraid now in daylight ? '
1 No : but night will come again before long : and besides,
— I am unhappy, — very unhappy, for other things.1
1 What other things ? Can you tell me some of them ? '
How much I wished to reply fully to this question !
How difficult it was to frame any answer 1 Children can
feel, but they cannot analyse their feelings ; and if the
analysis is partially effected in thought, they know not how
to express the Result of the process in words. Fearful,
however, of losing this first and only opportunity of relieving
my grief by imparting it, I, after a disturbed pause, con-
trived to frame a meagre, though, as far as it went, true
response.
' For one thing, I have no father or mother, brothers or
sisters/
1 You have a kind aunt and cousins.'
Again I paused ; then bunglingly enounced : ' But John
Eeed knocked me down, and my aunt shut me up in the
red-room.'
Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuff-box.
'Don't you think Gateshead Hall a very beautiful
house ? ' asked he. ' Are you not very thankful to have
such a fine place to live at ? '
1 It is not my house, sir ; and Abbot says I hava less
right to be here than a servant.'
' Pooh ! you can't be silly enough to wish to leave such
a splendid place ? '
' If I had anywhere else to go, I should be glad to leave it;
but I can never get away from Gateshead till I am a woman.'
22 JANE EYBE
1 Perhaps you may — who knows ? Have you any rela-
tions besides Mrs. Eeed ? '
' 1 think not, sir.'
1 None belonging to your father ? '
' I don't know : I asked aunt Eeed once, and she said
possibly I might have some poor, low relations called Eyre,
but she knew nothing about them.'
1 If you had such, would you like to go to them ? '
I reflected. Poverty looks grim to grown people ; still
more so to children : they have not much idea of industrious,
working, respectable poverty ; they think of the word only
as connected with ragged clothes, scanty food, tireless grates,
rude manners, and debasing vices : poverty for me was
synonymous With degradation.
' No ; I should not like to belong to poor people/ was
my reply.
' Not even if they were kind to you ? '
I shook my head : I could not see how poor people had
the means of being kind ; and then to learn to speak like
them, to adopt their manners, to be uneducated, to grow up
like one of the poor women I saw sometimes nursing their
children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the
village of Gateshead : no, I was not heroic enough to pur-
chase liberty at the price of caste.
' But are your relatives so very poor ? Are they working
people ? '
* I cannot tell ; aunt Eeed says, if I have any, they must
be a beggarly set : I should not like to go a begging.'
1 Would you like to go to school? '
Again I reflected: I scarcely knew what school was;
Bessie sometimes spoke of it as a place where young ladies
sat in the stocks, wore backboards, and were expected to be
exceedingly genteel and precise: John Eeed hated his
school, and abused his master; but John Eeed's tastes
were no rule for mine, and if Bessie's accounts of school
discipline (gathered from the young ladies of a family where
she had lived before coming to Gateshead) were somewhat
JANE J2.YBE 23
appalling, her details of certain accomplishments attained by
these same young ladies were, I thought, equally attractive.
She boasted of beautiful paintings of landscapes and flowers
by them executed ; of songs they could sing and pieces they
could play, of purses they could net, of French books they
could translate ; till my spirit was moved to emulation as I
listened. Besides, school would be a complete change : it
implied a long journey, an entire separation from Gateshead,
an entrance into a new life.
' I should indeed like to go to school/ was the audible
conclusion of my musings.
' Well, well ; who knows what may happen ? ' said Mr.
Lloyd, as he got up : ' The child ought to have change of
air and scene/ he added, speaking to himself ; ' nerves not
in a good state.'
Bessie now returned ; at the same moment the carriage
was heard rolling up the gravel-walk.
' Is that your mistress, nurse ? ' asked Mr. Lloyd. ' I
should like to speak to her before I go.1
Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast-room, and
led the way out. In the interview which followed between
him and Mrs. Eeed, I presume, from after-occurrences, that
the apothecary ventured to recommend my being sent to
school; and the recommendation was no doubt readily
enough adopted ; for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject
with Bessie when both sat sewing in the nursery one night,
after I was in bed, and, as they thought, asleep, ' Missis was,
she dared say, glad enough to get rid of such a tiresome, ill-
conditioned child, who always looked as if she were watch-
ing everybody, and scheming plots underhand.' Abbot, I
think, gave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy
Eawkes.
On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from
Miss Abbot's communications to Bessie, that my father had
been a poor clergyman ; that my mother had married him
against the wishes of her friends, who considered the match
beneath her ; that my grandfather Beed was so irritated at
c
24 JANE EYES
her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling ; that after
my mother and father had been married a year, the latter
caught the typhus fever while visiting among the poor of a
large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated,
and where that disease was then prevalent ; that my mother
took the infection from him, and both died within a month
of each other.
Bessie, when she h'^ard this narrative, sighed and said,
'Poor Miss Jane is to be pitied, too, Abbot/
' Yes,' responded Abbot, * if she were a nice, pretty child,
one might compassionate her forlornness ; but one really
cannot care for such a little toad as that/
1 Not a great deal, to be sure,' agreed Bessie • 'at any rate,
a beauty like Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the
same, condition.'
' Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana ! ' cried the fervent Abbot.
1 Little darling ! —with her long curls and her blue eyes, and
such a sweet colour as she has , just as if she were painted !
— Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh rabbit for supper.1
' So could I — with a roast onion. Come, we'll go down/
They went.
JANE EYEE 25
CHAPTER IV
FROM my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above-
reported conference between Bessie and Abbot, I gathered
enough of hope to suffice as a motive for wishing to get well :
a change seemed near, — I desired and waited it m silence. It
tarried, however : days and weeks passed • I had regained,
my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to
the subject over which I brooded. Mrs. Eeed surveyed me
at times with a severe eye, but seldom addressed me : since
my illness she had drawn a more marked line of separation
than ever between me and her own children ; appointing mo
a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning mo to
take my meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery,
while my cousins were constantly in the drawing-room.
Not a hint, however, did she drop about sending me to
school : still I felfc an instinctive ceitainty that she would
not long endure me under the same roof with her ; for her
glance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed
an insuperable and rooted aversion.
Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders,
spoke to me as little as possible : John thrust his tongue in
his cheek whenever he saw me, and once attempted chastise-
ment ; but as I instantly turned against him, roused by the
same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which had
stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist,
and ran from me, uttering execrations, and vowing I had
burst his nose. I had indeed levelled at that prominent
feature as hard a blow as my knuckles could inflict ; and
when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I
had the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to
26 JANE EYEE
purpose ; but he was already with his mamma. I heard him
in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how ' that nasty
Jane Eyre ' had flown at him like a mad cat : he was stopped
rather harshly — * Don't talk to me about her, John : I told
you not to go near her ; she is not worthy of notice ; I do
not choose that either you or your sisters should associate
with her.'
Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly,
and without at all deliberating on my words, — ' They are not
fit to associate with me/
Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman ; but on hearing
this strange and audacious declaration, she ran nimbly up
the stair, swept me like a whirlwind into the nursery, and
crushing me down on the edge of my crib, dared me in an
emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one syllable,
during the remainder of the day.
' What would uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive ?'
was my scarcely voluntary demand. I say scarcely volun-
tary, for it seemed as if my tongue pronounced words with-
out my will consenting to their utterance : something spoke
out of me over which I had no control.
1 What ? ' said Mrs. Reed under her breath : her usually
cold composed grey eye became troubled with a look like
fear; she took her hand from my arm, and gazed at me
as if she really did not know whether I were child or fiend.
I was now in for it.
' My uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you do and
think ; and so can papa and mamma : they know how you
shut me up all day long, and how you wish me dead.'
Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits : she shook me most
soundly, she boxed both my ears, and then left me without
a word. Bessie supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour's
length, in which she proved beyond a doubt that I was the
most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof.
I half believed her ; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surg-
ing in my breast.
No\ ember, December, and half of January passed away.
JANE EYBE 27
Christmas and the New Year had been celebrated at Gates-
head with the usual festive cheer ; presents had been inter-
changed, dinners and evening parties given. From every
enjoyment I was, of course, excluded: my share of the
gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza
and Georgiana, and seeing them descend to the drawing-
room, dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes,
with hair elaborately ringletted ; and afterwards, in listening
to the sound of the piano or the harp played below, to the
passing to and fro of the butler and footman, to the jingling
of glass and china as refreshments were handed, to the
broken hum of conversation as the drawing-room doors
opened and closed. When tired of this occupation, I would
retire from the stairhead to the solitary and silent nursery :
there, though somewhat sad, I was not miserable. To
speak truth, I had not the least wish to go into company,
for in company I was very rarely noticed ; and if Bessie had
but been kind and companionable, I should have deemed it
a treat to spend the evenings quietly with her, instead of
passing them under the formidable eye of Mrs. Eeed, in a
room full of ladies and gentlemen. But Bessie, as soon as
she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to
the lively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room,
generally bearing the candle along with her. I then sat
with my doll on my knee, till the fire got low, glancing
round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse than
myself haunted the shadowy room ; and when the embers
sank to a dull red, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and
strings as I best might, and sought shelter from cold and
darkness in my crib. To this crib I always took my doll ;
human beings must love something, and in the dearth of
worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure
in loving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a
miniature scarecrow. It puzzles me now to remember with
what absurd sincerity I doated on this little toy, half fancy-
ing it alive and capable of sensation. I could not sleep
unless it was folded in my night-gown : and when it lay
28 JANE BYES
there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing
it to be happy likewise.
Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of
the company, and listened for the sound of Bessie's step on
the stairs : sometimes she would come up in the interval to
seek her thimble or her scissors, or perhaps to bring me
something by way of supper — a bun or a cheese-cake- then
she would sit on the bed while I ate it, and when I had
finished, she would tuck the clothes round me, and twice
she kissed me, and said, * Good night, Miss Jane.' When
thus gentle, Bessie seemed to me the best, prettiest, kindest
being in the world ; and I wished most intensely that she
would always be so pleasant and amiable, and never push
me about, or scold, or task me unreasonably, as she was too
often wont to do. Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a
girl of good natural capacity, for she was smart in all she
did, and had a remarkable knack of narrative ; so, at least,
I judge from the impression made on me by her nursery
tales. She was pretty, too, if my recollections of her face
and person are correct. I remember her as a slim young
woman, with black hair, dark eyes, very nice features, and
good, clear complexion ; but she had a capricious and hasty
temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or justice : still,
such as she was, I preferred her to any one else at Gates-
head Hall.
It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock in the
morning : Bessie was gone down to breakfast ; my cousins had
not yet been summoned to their mamma ; Eliza was putting on
her bonnet and warm garden-coat to go and feed her poultry,
an occupation of which she was fond : and not less so of selling
the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding up the money she
thus obtained. She had a turn for traffic, and a marked
propensity for saving ; shown not only in the vending of
eggs and chickens, but also in driving hard bargains with
the gardener about flower-roots, seeds, and slips of plants ;
that functionary having orders from Mrs. Beed to buy of
his young lady all the products of her parterre she wished
JANE EYEB 29
to sell : and Eliza would have sold the hair off her head if
she could have made a handsome profit thereby. As to her
money, she first secreted it in odd corners, wrapped in a rag
or an old curl-paper ; but some of these hoards having been
discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing
her valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother,
at a usurious rate of interest— fifty or sixty per cent. ; which
interest she exacted every quarter, keeping her accounts in
a little book with anxious accuracy.
Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair at the
glass, and interweaving her curls with artificial flowers and
faded leathers, of which she had found a store in a drawer
in the attic 1 was making my bed, having received strict
orders from Bessie to get it arranged before she returned
(for Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of under-
nurserymaid, to tidy the room, dust the chairs, &c.). Having
spread the quilt, and folded my night-dress, I went to the
window-seat to put in order some picture-books and doll's
house furniture scattered there ; an abrupt command from
Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for th'e tiny chairs
and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups were her property)
stopped my proceedings ; and then, for lack of other occu-
pation, I fell to breathing on the frost-flowers with which
the window was fretted, and thus clearing a space in the
glass through which I might look out on the grounds, where
all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard frost
From this window were visible the porter's lodge and
the carriage-road, and just as I had dissolved so much of
the silver-white foliage veiling the panes as left room to
look out, I saw the gates thrown open and a carriage roll
through. I watched it ascending the drive with indifference :
carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever brought
visitors in whom I was interested ; it stopped in front of
the house, the door-bell rang loudly, the new-comer was
admitted. All this being nothing to me, my vacant atten-
tion soon found livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little
hungry robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs of
30 JANE EYEE
the leafless cherry-tree nailed against the wall near the
casement. The remains of my breakfast of bread and milk
stood on the table, and having crumbled a morsel of roll, I was
tugging at the sash to put out the crumbs on the window-sill,
when Bessie came running upstairs into the nursery.
c Miss Janertake off your pinatore : what are you doing
there ? Have you washed your hands and face this morn-
ing ? ' I gave another tug before I answered, for I wanted
the bird to be secure of its bread : the sash yielded ; I
scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the
cherry-tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied : —
' No, Bessie ; I have only just finished dusting.1
4 Troublesome, careless child ! and what are you doing
now ? You look quite red, as if you had been about some
mischief : what were you opening the window for ? '
I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie seemed
in too great a hurry to listen to explanations : she hauled
me to the washstand, inflicted a merciless, but happily brief
scrub on my face and hands with soap, water, and a coarse
towel ; disciplined my head with a bristly brush, denuded
me of my pinafore, and then, hurrying me to the top of the
stairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in the
breakfast- room.
I would have asked who wanted me: I would have
demanded if Mrs. Eeed was there ; but Bessie was already
gone, and had closed the nursery-door upon me : I slowly
descended. For nearly three months I had never been
called to Mrs. Beed's presence: restricted so long to the
nursery, the breakfast, dining, and drawing-rooms were
become for me awful regions, on which it dismayed me to
intrude.
I now stood in the empty hall ; before me was the break-
fast-room door, and I stopped, intimidated and trembling.
What a miserable little poltroon had fear, engendered of
unjust punishment, made of me in those days ! I feared
to return to the nursery, and feared to go forward to the
parlour ; ten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation : the
JANE EYBE 31
vehement ringing of the breakfast-room bell decided me ;
I must enter.
1 Who could want me ? ' I asked inwardly, as with both
hands I turned the stiff door-handle, which, for a second or
two, resisted my efforts. ( What should I see besides aunt
Beed in the apartment ? — a man or a woman ? ' The handle
turned, the door unclosed, and passing through and curtsey-
ing low I looked up at — a black pillar! such, at least,
appeared to me, at first sight, the straight, narrow, sable-
clad shape standing erect on the rug : the grim face at the
top was like a carved mask, placed above the shaft by way
of capital.
Mrs. Eocd occupied her usual seat by the fireside : she
made a signal to me to approach : I did so, and she intro-
duced me to the stony stranger with the words : ' This is
the little girl respecting whom I applied to you.1
He, for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards
where I stood, and having examined me with the two
inquisitive-looking grey eyes which twinkled under a pair
of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice : ' Her
size is small : what is her age ? '
1 Ten years/
' So much ? ' was the doubtful answer ; and he prolonged
his scrutiny for some minutes. Presently he addressed
me:
' Your name, little girl ? '
' Jane Eyre, sir/
In uttering these words I looked up : he seemed to me a
tall gentleman; but then I was very little: his features
were large, and they and all the lines of his frame were
equally harsh and prim.
• Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child ? '
Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative : my little
world held a contrary opinion: I was silent. Mrs. Eeed
answered for me by an expressive shake of the head, adding
soon, ( Perhaps the less said on that subject the better, Mr,
Brocklehurst/
02
32 JANE EYBE
1 Sorry indeed to hear it ! she and I mu&t have some talk ; '
and bending from the perpendicular, he installed his person
in the arm-chair, opposite Mrs. Seed's. ' Come here/ he
said.
I stepped across the rug; he placed me square and
straight before him. What a face he had, now that it was
almost on a level with mine ! what a great nose ! and what
a mouth ! and what large prominent teeth !
1 No sight so sad as that of a naughty child/ he began,
1 especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the
wicked go after death ? '
1 They go to hell/ was my ready and orthodox answer.
' And what is hell ? Can you tell me that ? f
' A pit full of fire/
'And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be
burning there for ever ? '
1 No, sir/
' What must you do to avoid it ? '
I deliberated a moment ; my answer, when it did come,
was objectionable : ' I must keep in good health and not
die/
I How can you keep in good health ? Children younger
than you die daily. I buried a little child of five years old
only a day or two since, — a good little child, whose soul is
now in heaven. It is to be feared the same could not be
said of you, were you to be called hence/
Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I only
cast my eyes down on the two large feet planted on the nig,
and sighed, wishing myself far enough away.
I 1 hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you repent
of ever having been the occasion of discomfort to your
excellent benefactress/
' Benefactress ! benefactress ! f said I, inwardly : ' they all
call Mrs. Eeed my benefactress ; if so, a benefactress is a
disagreeable thing/
1 Do you say your prayers night and morning ? ' con-
tinued my interrogator
JANE EYBE 33
' Yes, sir/
* Do you read your Bible ? '
1 Sometimes/
' With pleasure ? Are you fond of it ? '
1 T like Eevelations, and the book of Daniel, and Genesis
and Samuel, and a little bit of Exodus, and some parts of
Kings and Chronicles, and Job and Jonah/
' And the irsalms ? I hope you like them ? '
'No, sir/
' No ? Oh, shocking ! I have a little boy, younger than
you, who knows six Psalms by heart : and when you ask him
which he would rather have, a gingerbread-nut to eat, or a
verse of a Psalm to learn, he says : " Oh ! the verse of a
Psalm ! angel*? sing Psalms," says he ; " I wish to be a little
angel here below ; " he then gets two nuts in recompense for
his infant piety/
' Psalms are not interesting/ I remarked.
' That proves you have a wicked heart ; and you must
pray to God to change it : to give you a new and clean one :
to take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh/
I was about to propound a question, touching the
manner in which that operation of changing my heart was
to be performed, when Mrs. Eeed interposed, telling me to
sit down ; she then proceeded to carry on the conversation
herself.
1 Mr. Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the letter
which I wrote to you three weeks ago, that this little girl
has not quite the character and disposition I could wish :
should you admit her into Lowood school, I should be glad
if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep a
strict eye on her, and above all, to guard against her worst
fault, a tendency to deceit. I mention this in your hearing,
Jane, that you may not attempt to impose on Mr. Brockle-
hurst/
Well might I dread, well might I dislike Mrs. Eeed ; for
it was her nature to wound me cruelly : never was I happy
in her presence: however carefully I obeyed, however
34 JANE EYRE
strenuously I strove to please her, my efforts were still
repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above. Now,
uttered before a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart :
T dimly perceived that she was already obliterating hope
from the new phase of existence which she destined me to
enter ; I felt, though I could not have expressed the feeling,
that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my
future path ; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brockle-
hurst's eye into an artful noxious child, and what could I do
to remedy the injury ?
' Nothing, indeed,' thought I, as I struggled to repress
a sol), and hastily wiped away some tears, the impotent
evidences of my anguish.
'Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child,1 said Mr.
Brocklehurst ; ' it is akin to falsehood, and all liars will
have their portion in the lake burning with fire and brim-
stone : she shall, however, be watched, Mrs. Eeed ; I will
speak to Miss Temple and the teachers.'
1 1 should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting
her prospects,1 continued my benefactress ; ' to be made
useful, to be kept humble : as for the vacations, she will,
with your permission, spend them always at Lowood.'
' Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,' returned
Mr. Brocklehurst. ' Humility is a Christian grace, and one
peculiarly appropriate to the pupils of Lowood : I, therefore,
direct that especial care shall be bestowed on its cultivation
amongst them. I have studied how best to mortify in them
the worldly sentiment of pride ; and, only the other day, I
had a pleasing proof of my success. My second daughter,
Augusta, went with her mamma to visit the school, and on
her return she exclaimed : " Oh, dear papa, how quiet and
plain all the girls at Lowood look ; with their hair combed
behind cheir ears, and their long pinafores, and those little
holland pockets outside their frocks —they are almost like
poor people's children ! and,1' said she, " they looked at my
dress and mamma's, as if they had never seen a silk gown
before/"
JANE EYRE 35
' This is the state of things I quite approve/ returned
Mrs. Reed ; ' had I sought all England over, I could scarcely
have found a system more exactly fitting a child like Jane
Eyre. Consistency, my dear Mr. Brocklehurst ; I advocate
consistency in all things.'
' Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties ;
and it has been. observed in every arrangement connected
with the establishment of Lowood : plain fare, simple attire,
unsophisticated accommodations, hardy, and active habits;
such is the order of the day in the house and its inhabi-
tants.'
' Quite right, sir. I may then depend upon this child
being received as a pupil at Lowood, and there being trained
in confoimity to her position and prospects? '
' Madam, you may : she shall be placed in that nursery
of chosen plants — and I trust she will show herself grateful
for the inestimable privilege of her election.*
' I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brockle-
hurst ; for, I assure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a
Responsibility that was becoming too irksome.'
' No doubt, no doubt, madam, and now I wish you good
morning. I shall return to Brocklehurst Hall in the course
of a week or two : my good friend, the Archdeacon, will not
permit me to leave him sooner. I shall send Miss Temple
notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there will be
no difficulty about receiving her. Good-bye/
' Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst ; remember me to Mrs. and
Miss Brocklehurst, and to Augusta and Theodora, and Master
Broughton Brocklehurst.'
' I will, madam. Little girl, here is a book entitled the
" Child's Guide " ; read it .with prayer, especially that part
containing "an account of the awfully sudden death of
Martha G , a naughty child addicted to falsehood and
deceit.'"
With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a
thin pamphlet sewn in a cover, and having rung for his
carriage, he departed.
36 JANE EYKB
Mrs. Eeed and I were left alone : some minutes passed
in silence : she was sewing, I was watching her. Mrs. Eeed
might be at that time some six or seven and thirty ; she was
a woman of robust frame, square-shouldered and strong-
limbed, not tall, and, though stout, not obese : she had a
somewhat large face, the under-jaw being much developed
and very solid ; her brow was low, her. chin large and
prominent, mouth and nose sufficiently regular ; under her
light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth ; her skin
was dark and opaque, her hair nearly flaxen ; her constitu-
tion was sound as a bell — illness never came near her ; she
was an exact, clever manager, her household and tenantry
were thoroughly under her control; her children, only, at
times defied her authority, and laughed it to scorn; she
dressed well, and had a presence and port calculated to set
off handsome attire.
Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her arm-chair, I
examined her figure ; I perused her features. In my hand
I held the tract containing the sudden death of the Liar :
to which narrative my attention had been pointed as to an
appropriate warning. What had just passed ; what Mrs.
Eeed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst ; the
whole tenor of their conversation, was recent, raw, and
stinging in my mind ; I had felt every word as acutely as I
had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment fomented
now within me.
Mrs. Eeed looked up from her work ; her eye settled on
mine, her fingers at the same time suspended their nimble
movements.
1 Go out of the room ; return to the nursery/ was her
mandate. My look or something else must have struck her
as offensive, for she spoke with extreme, though suppressed
irritation. I got up, I went to the door; I came back
again ; I walked to the window, across the room, then close
up to her.
Speak I must ; I had been trodden on severely, and must
turn : but how ? What strength had I to dart retaliation at
JANE EYEE 37
my antagonist ? I gathered my energies and launched them
in this blunt sentence : — ' I am not deceitful : if I were, I
should say 1 loved you ; but I declare I do not love you : I
dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except John
Eeed ; and this book about the liar, you may givo to your
girl, Georgiana, for it is she who tells lies, arid not I.'
Mrs. Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive . her eye
of ice continued to dwell freezingly on mine.
' What more have you to say ? ' she asked, rather in the
tone in which a person might address an opponent of adult
age than such as is ordinarily used to a child.
That eye of hers, that voice stirred every antipathy I
had. Shaking from head to foot, thrilled with ungovernable
excitement, I continued : — 'I am glad you are no relation of
mine : I will never call you aunt again as long as I live. I
will never come to see you when I am grown up ; and if
any one asks me how I liked you, and how you treated me,
I will say the very thought of you makes mo sick, and that
you treated me with miserable cruelty.'
' How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre ? '
1 How dare I, Mrs. Eeed ? How dare I ? Because it is
the truth. You think I have no feelings, and that I can do
without one bit of love or kindness ; but I cannot live so : and
you have no pity. I shall remember how you thrust me back
— roughly and violently thrust rne back — into the red-room,
and locked me up there, to my dying day ; though I was in
agony ; though I cried out, while suffocating with distress,
" Have mercy ! Have mercy, aunt Eeed I " And that punish-
ment you made 'me suffer because your wicked boy struck
me — knocked me down for nothing. I will tell anybody
who asks me questions this exact tale. People think you
a good woman, but you are bad ; hard-hearted. You are
deceitful ! '
Ere I had finished this reply my soul began to expand,
to exult, vRlh the strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I
ever felt. It seemed as if an invisible bond had burst, and
that I had struggled out into unhoped-for liberty. Not
38 JANE EYEE
without cause was this sentiment : Mrs. Eeed looked
frightened ; her work had slipped from her knee ; she was
lifting up her hands, rocking herself to and fro, and even
twisting her face as if she would cry.
' Jane, you are under a mistake : what is the matter with
you ? Why do you tremble so violently ? Would you like
to drink some water ? '
1 No, Mrs. Eeed.1
' Is there anything else you wish for, Jane ? I assure
you, I desire to be your friend.'
'Not you. You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad
character, a deceitful disposition ; and I'll let everybody at
Lowood know what you are, and what you have done/
'Jane, you don't understand these things : children
must be corrected for their faults.'
1 Deceit is not my fault ! ' I cried out in a savage, high
voice.
I But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow : and
now return to the nursery—there's a dear — and lie down a
little.'
* I am not your dear ; I cannot lie down : send me to
school soon, Mrs. Eeed, for I hate to live here.'
I 1 will indeed send her to school soon,' murmured Mrs.
Eeed, sotto voce ; and gathering up her work, she abruptly
quitted the apartment.
I was left there alone — winner of the field. It was the
hardest battle I had fought, and the first victory I had
gained : I stood awhile on the rug, where Mr. Brocklehurst
had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror's solitude. First,
I smiled to myself and felt elate ; but this fierce pleasure
subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my
pulses. A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had
done ; cannot give its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as
I had given mine, without experiencing afterwards the pang
of remorse and the chill of reaction. A ridge of lighted
heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a meet
emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Eeed :
JANE EYEB 39
the same ridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead,
would have represented as meetly my subsequent condition,
when half an hour's silence and reflection had shown me
the madness of my conduct, and the dreariness of my hatred
and hating position.
Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time ;
as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy :
its after-flavour, metallic and corroding, gave tne a sensa-
tion as if I had been poisoned. Willingly would I now
have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon ; but I knew,
j>artly from experience and partly from instinct, that was
the way to make her repulse me with double scorn, thereby
re-exciting every turbulent impulse of my nature.
I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of
fierce speaking ; fain find nourishment for some less fiendish
feeling than that of sombre indignation. I took a book —
some Arabian tales ; I sat down and endeavoured to read.
I could make no sense of the subject ; my own thoughts
swam always between me and the page I had usually found
fascinating. I opened the glass-door in the breakfast-room :
the shrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned,
unbroken by sun or breeze, through the grounds. I covered
my head and arms with the skirt of my frock, and went out
to walk in a part of the plantation which was quite seques-
tered: but I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the
falling fir-cones, the congealed relics of autumn, russet
leaves, swept by past winds in heaps, and now stiffened
together. I leaned against a gate, and looked into an empty
field where no sheep were feeding, where the short grass
was nipped and blanched. It was a very grey day ; a most
opaque sky, ' onding on snaw,' canopied all ; thence flakes
fell at intervals, which settled on the hard path and on the
hoary lea without melting. I stood, a wretched child
enough, whispering to myself over and over again, ' What
shall I do ?— what shall I do ? '
All at once I heard a clear voice call, ' Miss Jane ! where
are you ? Come to lunch ! '
40 JANE EYEE
It was Bessie, I knew well enough ; but I did not stir ;
her light step came tripping down the path.
1 You naughty little thing ! ' shj said. * Why don't you
come when you are called ? '
Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts over
which I had been brooding, seemed cheerful ; even though,
as usual, she was somewhat cross. The fact is, after my
conflict with and victory over Mrs. Eeed, I was not disposed
to care much for the nursemaid's transitory anger ; and I
was disposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart. I
just put my two arms round her, and said, ' Come, Bessie I
don't scold.1
The action was more frank and fearless than any I was
habituated to indulge in : somehow it pleased her.
' You are a strange child, Miss Jane/ she said, as she
looked down at me : 'a little, roving, solitary thing : and
you are going to school, I suppose ? '
I nodded.
1 And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie ? '
I What does Bessie care for me ? She is always scolding
me.'
'Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy, little
thing. You should be bolder.'
' What ! to get more knocks ? '
' Nonsense ! But you are rather put upon, that's certain.
My mother said, when she came to see me last week, that
she would not like a little one of her own to be in your
place. Now, come in, and I've some good news for you.'
I 1 don't think you have, Bessie.'
1 Child ! what do you mean ? What sorrowful eyes you
fix on me ! Well ! but Missis and the young ladies and
Master John are going out to tea this afternoon, and you
shall have tea with me. I'll ask cook to bake you a little
cake, and then you shall help me to look over your drawers ;
for I am soon to pack your trunk. Missis intends you to
leave Gateshead in a day or two, and you shall choose what
toys you like to take with you.'
JANE EYEE 41
' Bessie, you mast promise not to scold me any more till
I go.'
' Well, I will : but mind you are a very good girl, and
don't be afraid of me. Don't start when I chance to speak
rather sharply : it's so provoking.'
' I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie,
because I have got used to you; and I shall soon have
another set of people to dread '
' If you dread them, they'll dislike you.'
' As you do, Bessie ? '
' I don't dislike you, Miss ; I believe I am fonder of you
than of all the others/
* You don't show it.1
' You little sharp thing ! you've got quite a new way of
talking. What makes you so venturesome and hardy? '
* Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides '
I was going to say something about what had passed between
me and Mrs. Eeed ; but on second thoughts I considered it
better to remain silent on that head.
' And so you're glad to leave me ? '
'Not at all, Bessie ; indeed, just now I am rather sorry.1
1 Just now 1 and rather I How coolly my little lady says
it! I daresay now if I were to ask you for a kiss you
wouldn't give it me : you'd say you'd rathe?' not.'
* I'll kiss you and welcome : bend your head down.'
Bessie stooped ; we mutually embraced, and I followed her
into the house quite comforted. That afternoon lapsed in
peace and harmony ; and in the evening Bessie told me
some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some
of her sweetest songs. Even for me life had its gleams of
sunshine.
JANE EYBE
CHAPTER V
FIVE o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of
January, when Bessie brought a candle into my closet, and
found me already up and nearly dressed. I had risen half
an hour before her entrance, and had washed my face, and put
on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just setting, whose
rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib. I
was to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed
the lodge gates at six A.M. Bessie was the only person yet
risen ; she had lit a fire in the nursery, where she now pro-
ceeded to make my breakfast. Few children can eat when
excited with the thoughts of a journey ; nor could I. Bessie,
having pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the
boiled milk and bread she had prepared for me, wrapped
up some biscuits in a paper and put them into my bag ;
then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet, and
wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery. As
we passed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, ' Will you go in
and bid Missis good-bye ?'
' No,*Bessie : she came to my crib last night when you
were gone down to supper, and said I fleed not disturb
her in the morning, or my cousins either ; and she told me
to remember that she had always been my best friend, and
to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.'
1 What did you say, Miss ? '
1 Nothing : I covered my face with the bed-clothes, and
turned from her to the wall/
1 That was wrong, Miss Jane.'
1 It was quite right, Bessie : your Missis has not been
my friend : she has been my foe/
JANE EYEE 43
' Oh, Miss Jane ! don't say so ! '
* Good-bye to Gateshead ! ' cried I, as we passed through
the hall and went out at the front door.
The moon was set, and it was very dark ; Bessie carried
a lantern, whose light glanced on wet steps and gravel road
sodden by a recent thaw. Raw and chill was the winter
morning : my teeth chattered as I hastened down the drive.
There was a light in the porter's lodge : when we reached
it, we found the porter's wife just kindling her fire: my
trunk, which had been carried down the evening before,
stood corded at the door. It wanted but a few minutes of
six, and shortly after that hour had struck the distant roll
of wheels announced the coming coach ; I went to the door,
and watched its lamps approach rapidly through the gloom.
1 Is she going by herself ? ' asked the porter's wife.
1 Yes.'
1 And how far is it ? '
1 Fifty miles.'
' What a long way ! I wonder Mrs. Beed is not afraid
to trust her so far alone.1
The coach drew up ; there it was at the gates with its
four horses and its top laden with passengers : the guard
and coachman loudly urged haste ; my trunk was hoisted
up ; 1 was taken from Bessie's neck, to which I clung with
1 Be sure and take good care of her,' cried she to the
guard, as he lifted me into the inside.
' Ay, ay ! ' was the answer : the door was slapped to, a
voice exclaimed, ' All right,' and on we drove. Thus was I
severed from Bessie and Gateshead : thus whirled away to
unknown, and, as I then deemed, remote and mysterious
regions.
I remember but little of the journey : I only know that
the day seemed to me of a preternatural length, and that we
appeared to travel over hundreds of miles of road. We
passed through several towns, and in one, a very large one,
the coach stopped; the horses were taken out, and the
44 JANE EYEB
passengers alighted to dine. I was carried into an inn,
where the guard wanted me to have some dinner ; but, as
I had no appetite, he left me in an immense room with a
fireplace at each end, a chandelier pendent from the ceiling,
and a little red gallery high up against the wall filled with
musical instruments. Here I walked about for a long time,
feeling very strange, and mortally apprehensive of some one
coming in and kidnapping me ; for I believed in kidnappers,
their exploits having frequently figured in Bessie's fireside
chronicles. At last the guard returned : once more I was
stowed away in the coach, my protector mounted his own
seat, sounded his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the
4 stony street ' of L .
The afternoon came on wet and somewhat misty : as it
waned into dusk I began to feel that we were getting very
far indeed from Gateshead : we ceased to pass through
towns; the country changed; great grey hills heaved up
round the horizon: as twilight deepened we descended a
valley, dark with wood, and long after night had overclouded
the prospect I heaid a wild wind rushing amongst trees.
Lulled by the sound, I at last dropped asleep : I had not
long slumbered when the sudden cessation of motion awoke
me ; the coach-door was open, and a person like a servant
was standing at it : I saw her face and dress by the light of
the lamps.
1 Is there a little girl called Jane Eyre here ? ' she asked.
I answered ' Yes,' and was then lifted out ; my trunk was
handed down, and the coach instantly drove away.
I was stiff with long sitting, and bewildered with the
noise and motion of the coach : gathering my faculties, I
looked about me. Bain, wind, and darkness filled the air ;
nevertheless, I dimly discerned a wall before me and a door
open in it ; through this door I passed with my new guide :
she shut and locked it behind her. There was now visible
a house or houses — for the building spread far — with
many windows, and lights burning in some ; we went up a
broad pebbly path, splashing wet, and were admitted at a
JANE EYBE 45
door; then the servant led me through a passage into a
room with a fire, where she left me alone.
I stood and warmed my numbed fingers over the blaze,
then I looked round ; there was no candle, but the uncertain
light from the hearth showed, by intervals, papered walls,
carpet, curtains, shining mahogany furniture: it was a
parlour, not so spacious or splendid as the drawing-room at
Gateshead, but comfortable enough. I was puzzling to
make out the subject of a picture on the wall, when the
door opened, and an individual carrying a light entered ;
another followed close behind.
The first was a tall lady with dark hair, dark eyes, and
a pale and large forehead ; her figure was partly enveloped
in a shawl, her countenance was grave, her bearing erect.
'The child is very young to be sent alone/ said she,
putting her candle down on the table. She considered me
attentively for a minute or two, then further added :
1 She had better be put to bed soon ; she looks tired :
1 are you tired ? ' she asked, placing her hand on my
shoulder.
1 A little, ma'am.'
' And hungry too, no doubt : let her have some supper
before she goes to bed, Miss Miller. Is this the first time
you have left your parents to come to school, my little
girl?1
I explained to her that I had no parents. She inquired
how long they had been dead ; then how old I was, what
was my name, whether I could read, write, and sew a little :
then she touched my cheek gently with hei forefinger, and
saying, ' She hoped I should be a good child/ dismissed me
along with Miss Miller.
The lady I had left might be about twenty-nine ; the one
who went with me appeared some years younger : the first
impressed me by her voice, look, and air. Miss Miller was
more ordinary ; ruddy in complexion, though of a careworn
countenance ; hurried in gait and action, like one who had
always a multiplicity of tasks on hand : she looked, indeed,
46 JANE EYEE
what I afterwards found she really was, an under-teacher.
Led by her, I passed from compartment to compartment,
from passage to passage, of a large and irregular building ;
till, emerging from the total and somewhat dreary silence
pervading that portion of the house we had traversed, we
came upon the hum of many voices, and presently entered
a wide, long room, with great deal tables, two at each end,
on each of which burnt a pair of candles, and seated all
round on benches a congregation of girls of every age, from
nine or ten to twenty. Seen by the dim light of the dips,
their number to me appeared countless, though not in reality
exceeding eighty ; they were uniformly dressed in brown
stuff frocks of quaint fashion, and long holland pinafores.
It was the hour of study; they were engaged in conning
over their to-morrow's task, and the hum I had heard was
the combined result of their whispered repetitions.
Hiss Miller signed to me to sit on a bench near the door,
then walking up to the top of the long room, she cried out :
1 Monitors, collect the lesson-books and put them away ! '
Four tall girls arose from different tables, and going
round, gathered the books and removed them. Miss Miller
again gave the word of command :
' Monitors, fetch the supper-trays 1 '
The tall girls went out, and returned presently, each
bearing a tray, with portions of something, I knew not what,
arranged thereon, and a pitcher of water and mug in the
middle of each tray. The portions were handed round ;
those who liked took a draught of the water, the mug being
common to all. When it came to my turn, I drank, for I
was thirsty, but did not touch the food, excitement and
fatigue rendering me incapable of eating : I now saw, how-
ever, that it was a thin oaten cake, shared into fragments.
The meal over, prayers were read by Miss Miller, and
the classes filed off, two and two, upstairs. Overpowered
by this time with weariness, I scarcely noticed what sort of
a place the bedroom was ; except that, like the schoolroom,
I saw it was very long. To-night I was to be Miss Miller's
JANE EYEE 47
bedfellow ; she helped me to undress : when laid down I
glanced at the long rows of beds, each of which was quickly
filled with two occupants ; in ten minutes the single light
was extinguished ; amidst silence and complete darkness, I
fell asleep.
The night passed rapidly : I was too tired even to dream ;
I only once awoke to hear the wind rave in furious gusts,
and the rain fall in torrents, and to be sensible that Miss
Miller had taken her place by my side. When I again un-
closed my eyes, a loud bell was ringing : the girls were up
and dressing ; day had not yet begun to dawn, and a rush-
light or two burnt in the room. I too rose reluctantly ; it
was bitter cold, and I dressed as well as I could for shiver-
ing, and washed when there was a basin at liberty, which
did not occur soon, as there was but one basin to six girls on
the stands down the middle of the room. Again the bell
rang : all formed in file, two and two, and in that order
descended the stairs and entered the cold and dimly-lit
schoolroom: here prayers were read by Miss Miller; after-
wards she called out : — ' Form classes ! '
A great tumult succeeded for some minutes, during which
Miss Miller repeatedly exclaimed, ' Silence ! ' and * Order ! '
When it subsided, I saw them all drawn up in four semi-
circles, before four chairs, placed at the four tables ; all held
books in their hands, and a great book, like a Bible, lay on
each table, before the vacant seat. A pause of some seconds
succeeded, filled up by the low, vague hum of numbers ;
Miss Miller walked from class to class, hushing this in-
definite sound.
A distant bell tinkled : immediately three ladies entered
the room, each walked to a table and took her seat ; Miss
Miller assumed the fourth vacant chair, which was that
nearest the door, and around which the smallest of the
children were assembled : to this inferior class I was called,
and placed at the bottom of it.
Business now began : the day's Collect was repeated,
then certain texts of Scripture were said, and to these
48 JANE EYKE
succeeded a protracted reading of chapters in the Bible, which
lasted an hour. By the time that exercise was terminated
day had fully dawned. The indefatigable bell now sounded
for the fourth time : the classes were marshalled and
marched into another room to breakfast : how glad I was to
behold a prospect of getting something to eat ! I was now
nearly sick from inanition, having taken so little the day
before.
The refectory was a great, low-ceiled, gloomy room ; on
two long tables smoked basins of something hot, which, how-
ever, to my dismay, sent forth an odour far from inviting.
I saw a universal manifestation of discontent when the
fumes of the repast met the nostrils of those destined to
swallow it : from the van of the procession, the tall girls
of the first class, rose the whispered words : — ' Disgusting !
The porridge is burnt again ! '
' Silence ! ' ejaculated a voice ; not that of Miss Miller,
but one of the upper teachers, a little and dark personage,
smartly dressed, but of somewhat morose aspect, who in-
stalled herself at the top of one table, while a more buxom
lady presided at the other. 1 looked in vain for her I had
first seen the night before ; she was not visible : Miss Miller
occupied the foot of the table where I sat, and a strange,
foreign looking, elderly lady, the French teacher, as I after-
wards found, took the corresponding seat at the other board.
A long grace was said and a hymn sung ; then a servant
brought in some tea for the teachers, and the meal began.
Eavenous, and now very faint, I devoured a spoonful or
two of my portion without thinking of its taste ; but the
first edge of hunger blunted, I perceived I had got in hand a
nauseous mess : burnt porridge is almost as bad as rotten
potatoes ; famine itself soon sickens over it. The spoons
were moved slowly : I saw each girl taste her food and try
to swallow it ; but in most cases the effort was soon re-
linquished. Breakfast was over, and none had breakfasted.
Thanks being returned for what we had not got, and a
second hymn chanted, the refectory was evacuated for the
JANE EYEE 49
schoolroom. I was one of the last to go out, and in passing
the tables, I saw one teacher take a basin of the porridge
and taste it ; she looked at the others ; all their countenances
expressed displeasure, and one of them, the stout one,
whispered : — ' Abominable stuff ! How shameful I '
A quarter of an hour passed before lessons again began,
during which the schoolroom was in a glorious tumult ; for
that space of time, it seemed to be permitted to talk loud
and more freely, and they used their privilege. The whole
conversation ran on the breakfast, which one and all abused
roundly. Poor things ! it was the sole consolation they had.
Miss Miller was now the only teacher in the room : a group
of great girls standing about her, spoke with serious and
sullen gestures. 1 heard the name of Mr. Brocklehurst pro-
nounced by some lips ; at which Miss Miller shook her head
disapprovingly ; but she made no great effort to check the
general wrath : doubtless she shared in it.
A clock in the schoolroom struck nine ; Miss Miller left
her circle, and standing in the middle of the room, cried : —
' Silence ! To your seats ! '
Discipline prevailed : in five minutes the confused
throng was resolved into order, and comparative silence
quelled the Babel clamour of tongues. The upper teachers
now punctually resumed their posts : but still, all seemed to
wait. Banged on benches down the sides of the room, the
eighty girls sat motionless and erect : a quaint assemblage
they appeared, all with plain locks combed from their faces,
not a curl visible ; in brown dresses, made high and sur-
rounded by a narrow tucker about the throat, with little
pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's
purse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the
purpose of a work-bag: all too wearing woollen stockings
and country-made shoes, fastened with brass buckles.
Above twenty of those clad in this costume were full-grown
girls, or rather young women ; it suited them ill, and gave
an air of oddity even to the prettiest.
I was still looking at them, and also at intervals
50 JANE EYEB
examining the teachers — none of whom precisely pleased me ;
for the stout one was a little coarse, the dark one not a little
fierce, the foreigner harsh and grotesque, and Miss Miller,
poor thing ! looked purple, weatherbeaten, and overworked
— when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole
school rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.
What was the matter ? I had heard no order given : I
was puzzled. Ere I had gathered my wits, the classes were
again seated : but as all eyes were now turned to one point,
mine followed the general direction, and encountered the
personage who had received me last night. She stood at
the bottom of the long room, on the hearth ; for there was a
fire at each end : she surveyed the two rows of girls silently
and gravely. Miss Miller approaching, seemed to ask her a
question, and having received her answer, went back to her
place, and said aloud, — * Monitor of the first class, fetch the
globes ! '
While the direction was being executed, the lady con-
sulted moved slowly up the room. I suppose I have a
considerable organ of Veneration, for I retain yet the sense
of admiring awe with which my eyes traced her steps. Seen
now, in broad daylight, she looked tall, fair, and shapely ;
brown eyes, with a benignant light in their irids, and a fine
pencilling of long lashes round, relieved the whiteness of her
large front ; on each of her temples her hair, of a very dark
brown, was clustered in round curls, according to the fashion
of those times, when neither smooth bands nor long ringlets
were in vogue ; her dress, also in the mode of the day, was
of purple cloth, relieved by a sort of Spanish trimming of
black velvet ; a gold watch (watches were not so common
then as now) shone at her girdle. Let the reader add, to
complete the picture, refined features ; a complexion, if pale,
clear ; and a stately air and carriage, and he will have, at
least, as clearly as words can give it, a correct idea of the
exterior of Miss Temple — Maria Temple, as I afterwards saw
the name written in a prayer-book entrusted to me to carry
to church.
JANE EYBE 51
The superintendent of Lowood (for such was this lady)
having taken her seat before a pair of globes placed on one
of the tables, summoned the first class round her, and com-
menced giving a lesson in geography ; the lower classes
were called by the teachers : repetitions in history, grammar,
&c., went on for an hour ; writing and arithmetic succeeded,
and music lessons were given by Miss Temple to some of
the elder girls. The duration of each lesson was measured
by the clock, which at last struck twelve. The superin-
tendent rose : — ' I have a word to address to the pupils,' said
she.
The tumult of cessation from lessons was already break-
ing forth, but it sank at her voice. She went on : — ' You
had this morning a breakfast which you could not eat ; you
must be hungry. I have ordered that a lunch of bread and
cheese shall be served to all/
The teachers looked at her with a sort of surprise.
* It is to be done on my responsibility/ she added, in an
explanatory tone to them, and immediately afterwards left
the room.
The bread and cheese was presently brought in and dis-
tributed, to the high delight and refreshment of the whole
school. The order was now given, ' To the garden 1 ' Each
put on a coarse straw bonnet, with strings of coloured calico,
and a cloak of grey frieze. I was similarly equipped, and,
following the stream, I made my way into the open air.
The garden was a wide inclosure, surrounded with walls
so high as to exclude every glimpse of prospect ; a covered
verandah ran down one side, and broad walks bordered a
middle space divided into scores of little beds : these beds
were assigned as gardens for the pupils to cultivate, and
each bed had an owner. When full of flowers they would
doubtless look pretty ; but now, at the latter end of January,
all was wintry blight and brown decay. ' I shuddered as I
stood and looked round me : it was an inclement day for
outdoor exercise ; not positively rainy, but darkened by a
drizzling yellow fog ; aU underfoot was still soaking wet with
52 JANE EYEE
the floods of yesterday. The stronger among the girls ran
about and engaged in active games, but sundry pale and thin
ones herded together for shelter and warmth in the verandah ;
and amongst these, as the dense mist penetrated to their
shivering frames, I heard frequently the sound of a hollow
cough.
As yet I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody seem to
take notice of me ; I stood lonely enough : but to that feeling
of isolation I was accustomed ; it did not oppress me much.
I leant against a pillar of the verandah, drew niy grey in antle
close about me, and, trying to forget the cold which nipped
me 'without, and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed me
within, delivered myself up to the employment ol watching
and thinking. My reflections were too undefined and frag-
mentary to merit record : I hardly yet know where I was ;
Gateshead and my past life seemed floated away to an im-
measurable distance ; the present was vague and strango,
and of the future I could form no conjecture. 1 looked
round the convent-like garden, and then up at the houso ; a
largo building, half of which seemed grey and old, the otlur
half quite new. The new part, containing the schoolroom
and dormitory, was lit by mullioned and latticed windows,
which gave it a church-like aspect ; a stone tablet over the
door, bore this inscription : —
LOWOOD INSTITUTION.
THIS PORTION WAS REBUILT A.I). , BY NAOMI BBOCKLEHUR8T,
OF BROCKLEHURST HALL, IN THIS COUNTY.
*Let your light w> shine before men that they nuy see 30111 good works and
glorify your Father which i* in heaven.'— ST. M vrr v. 16.
I read these words over and over again : I felt that an
explanation belonged to them, and was unable fully to
penetrate their import. I was still pondering the significa-
tion of ' Institution/ and endeavouring to make out a con-
nection between the first words and the verse of Scripture,
when the sound of a cough close behind me, made me turn
my head. I saw a girl sitting on a stone bench near ; she
JANE EYES 53
was bent over a book, on the perusal of which she seemed
intent : from where I stood 1 could see the title — it was
' Kasselas ; ' a name that struck me as strange, and conse-
quently attractive. In turning a leaf she happened to look
up, and I said to her directly :— ' Is your book interesting ? '
I had already formed the intention of asking her to lend it
to me some day.
* I like it/ she answered, after a pause of a second or
two, during which she examined mo.
' What is it about? ' I continued. I hardly know where
I found the hardihood thus to open a conversation with a
stranger ; the step was contrary to my nature and habits :
but I think her occupation touched a chord of sympathy
somewhere ; for 1 too bked reading, though of a frivolous
and cbildish kind; 1 could not digest or comprehend the
serious or substantial.
1 You may look at it/ replied the girl, offering me the
book.
I did so ; a brief examination convinced me that the
contents were less taking than the title : ' Kasselas ' looked
dull to my trifling taste ; I saw nothing about fairies, nothing
about genii; no bright variety seemed spread over the
closely printed pages. I returned it to her ; she received it
quietly, and without saying anything she was about to
relapse into her former studious rnood: again I ventuied to
disturb her : — ' Can you tell UK* what the writing on that
stone over the door means ? What is Lowood Institution ? '
' This house where you are come to live.'
' And why do they call it Institution ? Is it in any way
different from other schools ? '
1 It is partly a charity-school : you and I, and all the rest
of us, are charity children. I suppose you are an orphan :
are not either your father or your mother dead ? '
1 Both died before I can remember/
' Well, all the girls here have lost either one or both
parents, and this is called an institution for educating
orphans/
64 JANE BYEE
'Do we pay no money? Do they keep us for no-
thing ? '
1 We pay, or our friends pay, fifteen pounds a year for
each/
' Then why do they call us charity children ? '
* Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board and
teaching, and the deficiency is supplied by subscription/
'Who subscribes?'
'Different benevolent-minded ladies and gentlemen in
this neighbourhood and in London/
1 Who was Naomi Brocklehurst ? '
1 The lady who built the new part of this house as that
tablet records, and whose son overlooks and directs every-
thing here/
'Why?'
' Because he is treasurer and manager of the establish-
ment/
' Then this house does not belong to that tall lady who
wears a watch, and who said we were to have some bread
and cheese/
' To Miss Temple ? Oh, no ! I wish it did : she has to
answer to Mr. Brocklehurst for all she does. Mr. Brockle-
hurst buys all our food and all our clothes/
1 Does he live here ? '
' No — two miles off, at a large hall/
' Is he a good man ? '
1 He is a clergyman, and is said to do a great deal of
good/
' Did you say that tall lady was called Miss Temple ? '
'Yes/
1 And what are the other teachers called ? '
1 The one with red cheeks is called Miss Smith ; she attends
to the work, and cuts out — for we make our own clothesf
our frocks, and pelisses, and everything ; the little one with
black hair is Miss Scatcherd; she teaches history and
grammar, and hears the second class repetitions ; and the
one who wears a shawl, and has a pocket-handkerchief tied
JANE EYEE 55
to her side with a yellow riband, is Madam Pierrot : she
comes from Lisle, in France, and teaches French.'
' Do you like the teachers ? '
1 Well enough.1
' Do you like the little black one, and the Madame ?
— I cannot pronounce her name as you do.1
'Miss Scatcherd is hasty — you must take care not to
offend her ; Madame Pierrot is not a bad sort of person/
' But Miss Temple is the best— isn't she ? '
'Miss Temple is very good, and very clever: she is
above the rest, because she knows far more than they do/
' Have you been long here ? '
' Two years.'
' Are you an orphan ? '
' My mother is dead.'
' Are you happy here ? '
' You ask rather too many questions. I have given you
answers enough for the present : now I want to read/
But at the moment the summons sounded for dinner :
all re-entered the house. The odour which now filled the
refectory was scarcely more appetising than that which had
regaled our nostrils at breakfast : the dinner was served in
two huge tin-plated vessels, whence rose a strong steam
redolent of rancid fat. I found the mess to consist of
indifferent potatoes and strange shreds of rusty meat, mixed
and cooked together. Of this preparation a tolerably
abundant plateful was apportioned to each pupil. I ate
what I could, and wondered within myself whether every
day's fare would be like this.
After dinner, we immediately adjourned to the school-
room : lessons recommenced, and were continued till five
o'clock.
The only marked event of the afternoon was, that I saw
the girl with whom I had conversed in the verandah, dis-
missed in disgrace, by Miss Scatcherd, from a history class,
and sent to stand in the middle of the large schoolroom.
The punishment seemed to me in a high degree ignominious,
56 JANE EYEB
especially for so great a girl—she looked thirteen or up-
wards. I expected she would show signs of great distress
and shame; but to my surprise she neither wept nor
blushed: composed, though grave, she stood, the central
mark of all eyes. ' How can she bear it so quietly — so
firmly ? ' I asked of myself. ' Were I in her place, it seems
to me I should wish the earth to open and swallow me up.
She looks as if she were thinking of something beyond
her punishment— beyond her situation : of something not
round her nor before her. I have heard of day-dreams — is
she in a day-dream now ? Her eyes are fixed on the floor,
but 1 am sure they do not see it — her sight seems turned in,
gone down into her heart : she is looking at what she can
remember, I believe ; not at what is really present. I
wonder what sort of a girl she is — whether good or
naughty ? '
Soon after five P.M. we had another meal, consisting of a
small mug of coffee, and half a slice of brown bread. I
devoured my bread and drank my coffee with relish ; but I
should have been glad of as much more — I was still hungry.
Half an hour's recreation succeeded, then study : then the
glass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers and bed.
Such was my first day at Lowood.
JANE EYEE 57
CHAPTEE VI
THE next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing
by rush-light ; but this morning we were obliged to dispense
with the ceremony of washing : the water in the pitchers
was frozen. A change had taken place in the weather the
preceding ( vening, and a keen north-east wind, whistling
through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long,
had made us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of
the ewers to ice.
Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible
reading was over, I felt ready to perish with cold. Break-
fast-time came at last, and this morning the porridge was
not burnt ; the quality was eatable, the quantity small ;
how small my portion seemed ! I wished it had been
doubled.
In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the
fourth class, and regular tasks and occupations were assigned
me : hitherto, I had only been a spectator of the proceedings
at Lowood, I was now to become an actor therein. At first,
being little accustomed to learn by heart, the lessons ap-
peared to me both long and difficult : the frequent change
from task to task, too, bswildered mo; and I was glad,
when, about three o'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put
into my hands a border of muslin two yards long, together
with needle, thimble, <fec., and sent me to sit in a quiet
corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.
At that hour most of the others were sewing likewise ; but
one class still stood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading,
and as all was quiet, the subject of their lessons could be
heard, together with the manner in which each girl acquitted
58 JANE EYEE
herself, and the animadversions or commendations of Miss
Scatchcrd on the performance. It was English history :
among the readers, I observed my acquaintance of the
verandah : at the commencement of the lesson, her place
had been at the top of the class, but for some error of pro-
nunciation or some inattention to stops, she was suddenly
sent to the very bottom. Even in that obscure position,
Miss Scatcherd continued to make her an object of constant
notice : she was continually addressing to her such phrases
as the following : —
1 Burns ' (such it seems was her name : the girls here
were all called by their surnames, as boys are elsewhere),
' Burns, you are standing on the side of your shoe, turn
your toes out immediately.1 ' Burns, you poke your chin out
most unpleasantly, draw it in.' 'Burns, I insist on your
holding your head up : I will not have you before me in that
attitude,' &c., &c.
A chapter having been read through twice, the books
were closed and the girls examined. The lesson had com-
prised part of the reign of Charles I., and there were sundry
questions about tonnage and poundage, and ship-money,
which most of them appeared unable to answer ; still, every
little difficulty was solved instantly when it reached Burns :
her memory seemed to have retained the substance of the
whole lesson, and she was ready with answers on every
point. I kept expecting that Miss Scatcherd would praise
her attention ; but, instead of that, she suddenly cried out : —
'You dirty, disagreeable giiil you have never cleaned
your nails this morning ! '
Burns made no answer : I wondered at her silence.
' Why/ thought I, ' does she not explain that she could
neither clean her nails nor wash her face, as the water was
frozen ? '
My attention was now called off by Miss Smith desiring
me to hold a skein of thread : while she was winding it, she
talked to me from time to time, asking whether I had ever
been at school before, whether I could mark, stitch, knit,
JANE EYES 59
<fec, ; till she dismissed me, I could not pursue my observa-
tions on Miss Scatcherd's movements. When I returned to
my seat, that lady was just delivering an order, of which I
did not catch the import ; but Burns immediately left the
class, and, going into the small inner room where the books
were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying in her hand a
bundle of twigs tied together at one end. This ominous tool
she presented to Miss Scatcherd with a respectful curtsy ;
then she quietly, and without being told, unloosed her
pinafore, and the teacher instantly and sharply inflicted on
her neck a dozen strokes with the bunch of twigs. Not a
tear rose to Burns1 eye; and, while I paused from my
sewing, because my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a
sentiment of unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of
her pensive face altered its ordinary expression.
1 Hardened girl ! ' exclaimed Miss Scatcherd ; ' nothing
can correct you of your slatternly habits: carry the rod
away.'
Burns obeyed : I looked at her narrowly as she emerged
from the book-closet ; she was just putting back her hand-
kerchief into her pocket, and the trace of a tear glistened on
her thin cheek.
The play-hour in the evening I thought the pleasantest
fraction of the day at Lowood : the bit of bread, the draught
of coffee swallowed at five o'clock had revived vitality, if it had
not satisfied hunger ; the long restraint of the day was
slackened ; the schoolroom felt warmer than in the morning
— its fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly to
supply, in some measure, the place of candles, not yet
introduced; the ruddy gloaming, the licensed uproar, the
confusion of many voices, gave one a welcome sense of
liberty.
On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss
Scatcherd flog her pupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among
the forms and tables and laughing groups without a com-
panion, yet not feeling lonely ; when I passed the windows,
I now and then lifted a blind and looked out ; it snowed fast.
60 JANE ETEE
a drift was already forming against the lower panes ; putting
my ear close to the window, I could distinguish from the
gleeful tumult within, the disconsolate moan of the wind out-
side.
Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind
parents, this would have been the hour when I should most
keenly have regretted the separation : that wind would then
have saddened my heart ; this obscure chaos would have
disturbed my peace : as it was, I derived from both a strange
excitement, and reckless and feverish, I wished the wind to
howl more wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and the
confusion to rise to clamour.
Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made
my way to one of the fire-places : there, kneeling by the high
wire fender, I found Burns, absorbed, silent, abstracted from
all round her by the companionship of a book, which she
read by the dim glare of the embers.
1 Is it still " Easselas " ? ' I asked, coming behind her.
' Yes/ she said, ' and I have just finished it.'
And in five minutes more she shut it up. I was glad of
this.
1 Now/ thought I, ' I can perhaps get her to talk/ I sat
down by her on the floor.
1 What is your name besides Burns ? '
1 Helen/
I Do you come a long way from here ? '
I 1 come from a place further north ; quite on the borders
of Scotland/
' Will you ever go back ? '
1 1 hope so ; but nobody can be sure of the future/
' You must wish to leave Lowood ? '
' No : why should I ? I was sent to Lowood to get an
education ; and it would be of no use going away until I
have attained that object/
1 But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is so cruel to you ? '
' Cruel ? Not at all ! She is severe : she dislikes my
faults/
JANE EYEE 61
'And if I were in your place I should dislike her; I
should resist her ; if she struck me with that rod, I should
get it from her hand ; I should break it under her nose/
1 Probably you would do nothing of the sort : but if you
did, Mr. Brocklehurst would expel you from the school ;
that would be a great grief to your relations. It is far better
to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself,
than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will
extend to all connected with you ; and, besides, the Bible
bids us return good for evil/
' But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be
sent to stand in the middle of a room full of people ; and
you are such a great girl : I am far younger than you, and I
could not bear it.1
1 Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not
avoid it : it is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what
it is your fate to be required to bear.'
I heard her with wonder : I could not comprehend this
doctrine of endurance ; and still less could I understand or
sympathise with the forbearance she expressed for her
chastiser. Still I felt that Helen Burns considered things
by a light invisible to my eyes. I suspected she might be
right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter
deeply : like Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.
' You say you have faults, Helen : what are they ? To
me you seem very good/
' Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances : I
am, as Miss Scatcherd said, slatternly ; I seldom put, and
never keep, things in order ; I am careless ; I forget rules ;
I read when I should learn my lessons ; I have no method ;
and sometimes 1 say, like you, I cannot bear to be subjected
to systematic arrangements. This is all very provoking to
Miss Scatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and par-
ticular/
1 And cross and cruel,1 1 added ; but Helen Burns would
not admit my addition : she kept silence.
1 Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd ? '
62 JANE BYEE
At the utterance of Miss Temple's name, a soft smile
flitted over her grave face.
'Miss Temple is full of goodness: it pains her to be
severe to any one, even the worst in the school ; she sees
my errors, and tells me of them gently ; and, if I do any-
thing worthy of praise, she gives me my meed liberally.
One strong proof of my wretchedly defective nature is, that
even her expostulations, so mild, so rational, have not
influence to cure me of my faults; and even her praise,
though I value it most highly, cannot stimulate me to con-
tinued care and foresight.'
' That is curious/ said I : 'it is so easy to be care-
ful/
' For you I have no doubt it is. I observed you in your
class this morning, and saw you were closely attentive :
your thoughts never seemed to wander while Miss Miller
explained the lesson and questioned you. Now, mine con-
tinually rove away : when I should be listening to Miss
Scatcherd, and collecting all she says with assiduity, often I
lose the very sound of her voice ; I fall into a sort of dream.
Sometimes I think I am in Northumberland, and that the
noises I hear round me are the bubbling of a little brook
which runs through Deepden near our house ; — then, when
it comes to my turn to reply, I have to be wakened ; and,
having heard nothing of what was read for listening to the
visionary brook, I have no answer ready/
' Yet how well you replied this afternoon/
1 It was mare chance : the subject on which we had been
reading had interested me. This afternoon, instead of
dreaming of Deepden, I was wondering how a man who
wished to do right could act so unjustly and unwisely as
Charles the First sometimes did; and I thought what a
pity it was that, with his integrity and conscientiousness, he
could see no farther than the prerogatives of the crown. If
he had but been able to look to a distance, and see to what
they call the spirit of the age was tending ! Still, I like
Charles — I respect him — I pity him, poor murdered king I
JANE BYEB 63
Yes, his enemies were the worst : they shed blood they had
no right to shed. How dared they kill him ! '
Helen was talking to herself now : she had forgotten I
could not very well understand her — that I was ignorant, or
nearly so, of the subject she discussed. I recalled her to my
level.
1 And when Miss Temple teaches you, do your thoughts
wander then ? '
1 No, certainly, not often ; because Miss Temple has
generally something to say which is newer than my own
reflections : her language is singularly agreeable to me, and
the information she communicates is often just what I wished
to gain/
' Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good ? '
1 Yes, in a passive way : I make no effort ; I follow as
inclination guides me. There is no merit in such goodness.'
'A great deal : you are good to those who are good to
you. It is all I ever desire to be. If people were always
kind and obedient to those who are cruel and unjust, the
wicked people would have it all their own way ; they would
never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would
grow worse and worse. When we are struck at without a
reason, we should strike back again very hard ; I am sure
we should—so hard as to teach the person who struck us
never to do it again/
' You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow
older : as yet you are but a little untaught girl/
' But I feel this, Helen : I must dislike those who, what-
ever I do to please them, persist in disliking me; I must
resist those who punish me unjustly. It is as natural as
that I should love those who show me affection, or submit to
punishment when I feel it is deserved/
' Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine ; but
Christians and civilised nations disown it/
1 How? I don't understand/
' It is not violence that best overcomes hate — nor ven-
geance that most certainly heals injury/
D2
64 JANE EYEB
1 What then ? '
* Bead the New Testament, and observe what Christ
says, and how he acts ; make his word your rule, and his
conduct your example/
1 What does he say ? '
' Love your enemies ; bless them that curse you ; do good
to them that hate you and despitefully use you/
1 Then I should love Mrs. Eeed, which I cannot do ; I
should bless her son John, which is impossible/
In her turn, Helen Burns asked me to explain, and I
proceeded forthwith to pour out, in my own way, the tale
of my sufferings and resentments. Bitter and truculent
when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or softening.
Helen heard me patiently to the end : I expected she
would then make a remark, but she said nothing.
' Well/ I asked impatiently, ' is not Mrs. Eeed a hard-
hearted, bad woman ? '
' She has been unkind to you, no doubt ; because, you
see, she dislikes your cast of character, as Miss Scatchcrd
does mine : but how minutely you remember all she has
done and said to you ! What a singularly deep impression
her injustice seems to have made on your heart ! No ill-
usage so brands its record on my feelings. Would you not
be happier if you tided to forget her severity, together with
the passionate emotions it excited ? Life appears to me too
short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs.
We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with faults in
this world : but the time will soon come when, I trust, we
shall put them off in putting off our corruptible bodies ;
when debasement and sin will fall from us with this
cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of the spirit will
remain, — the impalpable principle of life and thought, pure
as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature : whence
it came it will return ; perhaps again to be communicated
to some being higher than man — perhaps to pass through
gradations of glory, from the pale human soul to brighten to
the seraph 1 Surely it will never, on the contrary, be suffered
JANE EYEB 65
to degenerate from man to fiend? No; I cannot believe
that : I hold another creed ; which no one ever taught me,
and which I seldom mention ; but in which I delight, and
to which I cling: for it extends hope to all: it makes
Eternity a rest — a mighty home, not a terror and an abyss.
Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between
the criminal and his crime ; I can so sincerely forgive the
first while I abhor the last : with this creed revenge nover
worries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me,
injustice never crushes me too low : I live in calm, looking
to the end.1
Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she
finished this sentence. T saw by her look she wished no
longer to talk to me, but. rather to converse with her own
thoughts. She was not allowed much time for meditation :
a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up, exclaiming
in a strong Cumberland accent, —
1 Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in
order, and fold up your work this minute, I'll toll Miss
Scatcherd to come and look at it ! '
Helen sighed as her reverie flod, and getting up, obeyed
the monitor without reply as without delay.
JANE EYRE
CHAPTER VII
MY first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the
golden age either: it comprised an irksome struggle with
difficulties in habituating myself to new rules and unwonted
tasks. The fear of failure in these points harassed me
worse than the physical hardships of my lot ; though these
were no trifles.
Jjunng January, February, and part of March, the deep
snows, and, after their melting, the almost impassable roads,
prevented our stirring beyond the garden walls, except to go
to church ; but within these limits we had to pass an hour
every day in the open air. Our clothing was insuflicient to
protect us from the severe cold : we had no boots, the snow
got into our shoes and melted there ; our ungloved hands
became numbed and covered with chilblains, as were our
feet : I remember well the distracting irritation I endured
from this cause every evening, when my feet inflamed ; and
the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes into my
shoes in the morning. Then the scanty supply of food was
distressing: with the keen appetites of growing children,
we had scarcely sufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.
From this deficiency of nourishment resulted an abuse,
which pressed hardly on the younger pupils : whenever the
famished great girls had an opportunity, they would coax or
menace the little ones out of their portion. Many a time I
have shared between two claimants the precious morsel of
brown bread distributed at tea-time ; and after relinquishing
to a third, half the contents of my mug of coffee, I have
swallowed the remainder with an accompaniment of secret
tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.
JANE EYEB 67
Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season. We
had to walk two miles to Brocklebridge Church, where our
patron officiated. We set out cold, we arrived at church
colder : during the morning service we became almost para-
lysed. It was too far to return to dinner, and an allowance
of cold meat and bread, in the same penurious proportion
observed in our ordinary meals, was served round between
the services.
At the close of the afternoon service we returned by an
exposed and hilly road, where the bitter winter wind, blowing
over a range of snowy summits to the north, almost flayed
the skin from our faces.
I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and rapidly
along our drooping line, her plaid cloak, which the frosty
wind fluttered, gathered close about her, and encouraging
us, by precept and example, to keep up our spirits, and
march forward, as she said, ' like stalwart soldiers/ The
other teachers, poor things, were generally themselves too
much dejected to attempt the task of cheering others/
How we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire
when we got back ! But, to the little ones at least, this was
denied : each hearth in the schoolroom was immediately
surrounded by a double row of great girls, and behind them
the younger children crouched in groups, wrapping their
starved arms in their pinafores.
A little solace came at tea-time, in the shape of a double
ration of bread — a whole, instead of a half, slice — with the
delicious addition of a thin scrape of butter : it was the heb-
domadal treat to which we all looked forward from Sabbath
to Sabbath. I generally contrived to reserve a moiety of this
bounteous repast for myself ; but the remainder I was in-
variably obliged to part with.
The Sunday evening was spent in repeating, by heart,
the Church Catechism, and the fifth, sixth, and seventh
chapters of St. Matthew ; and in listening to a long sermon,
read by Miss Miller, whose irrepressible yawns attested her
weariness. A frequent interlude of these performances was
68 JANE BYBB
the enactment of the part of Eutychus by some half dozen
of little girls ; who, overpowered with sleep, would fall down,
if not out of the third loft, yet off the fourth form, and be
taken up half dead. The remedy was, to thrust them
forward into the centre of the schoolroom, and oblige them
to stand there till the sermon was finished. Sometimes
their feet failed them, and they sank together in a heap ;
they were then propped up with the monitors' high stools.
I have not yet alluded to the visits of Mr. Brocklehurst ;
and indeed that gentleman was from home during the greater
part of the first month after my arrival ; perhaps prolonging
his stay with his friend the archdeacon : his absence was a
relief to me. I need not say that I had my own reasons for
dreading his coming : but come he did at last.
One afternoon (I had then been, three weeks at Lowood), as
I was sitting with a slate in my hand, puzzling over a sum
in long division, my eyes, raised in abstraction to the window,
caught sight of a figure just passing: I recognised almost
instinctively that gaunt outline ; and when two minutes
after, all the school, teachers included, rose en masse, it was
not necessary for me to look up in order to ascertain whose
entrance they thus greeted. A long stride measured the
schoolroom, and presently beside Miss Temple, who herself
had lisen, stood the same black column which had frowned
on me so ominously from the hearth-rug of Gateshead. I
now glanced sideways at this piece of architecture. Yes, I
was right : it was Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a sur-
tout, and looking longer, narrower, and more rigid than
ever.
I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this appari-
tion : too well I remembered the perfidious hints given by
Mrs. Eeed about my disposition, &c. ; the promise pledged
by Mr. Brocklehurst to apprise Miss Temple and the teachei s
of my vicious nature. All along I had been dreading the
fulfilment of this promise, — I had been looking out daily for
the ' Coming Man/ whose information respecting my past
life and conversation was to brand me as a bad child for
JANE EYBE 69
ever : now there he was. He stood at Miss Temple's side ;
he was speaking low in her ear: I did not doubt he was
making disclosures of my villainy ; and I watched her eye
with painful anxiety, expecting every moment to see its dark
orb turn on me a glance of repugnance and contempt. I
listened too ; and as I happened to be seated quite at the
top of the room, I caught most of what he said : its import
relieved me from immediate appiehension.
* I suppose, Miss Temple, the thread 1 bought at Lowton
will do ; it struck me that it woul I be just of the quality
for the calico chemises, and I sorted the needles to match.
You may tell Miss Smith that I forgot to make a memoian-
dum of the darning needles, but she shall have some papers
sent in next week ; and she is not, on any account, to give
out move than one at a time to each pupil : if they have
more, they are apt to be careless and lose them. And, oh
ma'am ! I wish the woollen stockings were better looked to !
— when 1 was here last, I went into the kitchen -garden and
examined the clothes drying on the line; there was a
quantity of black hose in a very bad state of repair : f i om
the size of the holes in them I was sure they had not been
well mended from time to tune.'
He paused.
'Your directions shall be attended to, sir,' said Miss
Temple.
'And, ma'am/ he continued, 'the laundress tells me
some of the girls have two clean tuckers in the week : it is
too much ; the rules limit them to one/
' I think I can explain that circumstance, sir. Agnes and
Catherine Johnstone were invited to take tea with some
friends at Lowton last Thursday, and I gave them leave to
put on clean tuckers for the occasion.1
Mr. Brocklehurst nodded.
1 Well, for once it may pass ; but please not to let the
circumstance occur too often. And there is another thing
which surprised me : I find, in settling accounts with the
housekeeper, that a lunch, consisting of bread and cheese,
70 JANE BYBB
has twice been served out to the girls during the past
fortnight. How is this ? I look over the regulations, and I
find no such meal as lunch mentioned. Who introduced
this innovation ? and by what authority ? '
1 1 must be responsible for the circumstance, sir,1 replied
Miss Temple : ( the breakfast was so ill-prepared that the
pupils could not possibly eat it ; and I dared not allow them
to remain fasting till dinner-time.'
' Madam, allow me an instant. You are aware that my
plan in bringing up these girls is, not to accustom them to
habits of luxury and indulgence, but to render them hardy,
patient, self-denying. Should any little accidental disap-
pointment of the appetite occur, such as the spoiling of a
meal, the under or the over dressing of a dish, the incident
ought not to be neutralised by replacing with something
more delicate the comfort lost, thus pampering the body and
obviating the aim of this institution ; it ought to be improved
to the spiritual edification of the pupils, by encouraging
them to evince fortitude under the temporary privation. A
brief address on those occasions would not be mistimed,
wherein a judicious instructor would take the opportunity
of referring to the suffei ings of the primitive Christians ; to
the torments of martyrs ; to the exhortations of our blessed
Lord himself, calling upon his disciples to take up their
cross and follow him ; to his warnings that man shall not
live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out
of the mouth of God ; to his divine consolations, " if ye suffer
hunger or thiist for my sake, happy are ye." Oh, madam,
when you put bread and cheese, instead of burnt porridge,
into these children's mouths, you may indeed feed their vile
bodies, but you little think how you starve their immortal
souls I '
Mr. Brocklehurst again paused — perhaps overcome by
his feelings. Miss Temple had looked down when he first
began to speak to her ; but she now gazed straight before
her, and her face, naturally pale as marble, appeared to be
assuming also the coldness and fixity of that material;
JANE EYEE 71
especially her mouth, closed as if it would have required a
sculptor's chisel to open it, and her brow settled gradually
into petrified severity.
Meantime, Mr. Brocklehurst, standing on the hearth with
his hands behind his back, majestically surveyed the whole
school. Suddenly his eye gave a blink, as if it had met-
something that either dazzled or shocked its pupil ; turning,
he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used : —
1 Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what— wJiat is that girl with
curled hair? Bed hair, ma'am, curled — curled all over?'
And extending his cane he pointed to the awful object, his
hand shaking as he did so.
' It is Julia Severn/ replied Miss Temple, very quietly.
1 Julia Severn, ma'am ! And why has she, or any other,
curled hair ? Why, in defiance of every precept and principle
of this house, does she conform to the world so openly —
here in an evangelical, charitable establishment — as to wear
her hair one mass of curls ? '
' Julia's hair curls naturally/ returned Miss Temple, still
more quietly.
1 Naturally ! Yes, but we are not to conform to nature :
I wish these girls to be the children of Grace : and why that
abundance ? I have again and again intimated that I desire
the hair to be arranged closely, modestly, plainly. Miss
Temple, that girl's hair must be cut off entirely ; I will send
* barber to-morrow : and I see others who have far too
much of the excrescence — that tall girl, tell her to turn round.
Tell all the first form to rise up and direct their faces to the
wall/
Miss Temple passed her handkerchief over her lips, as if
to smooth away the involuntary smile that curled them ; she
gave the order, however, and when the first class could take
in what was required of them, they obeyed. Leaning a
little back on my bench, I could see the looks and grimaces
with which they commented on this manoeuvre : it was a
pity Mr. Brocklehurst could not see them too ; he would
perhaps have felt that, whatever he might do with the
72 JANE BYEB
outside of the cup and platter, the inside was further beyond
his interference than he imagined.
He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some
five minutes, then pronounced sentence. These words fell
like the knell of doom : — ' All those top-knots must be cut
off/
Miss Temple seemed to remonstrate.
1 Madam/ he pursued, ' I have a master to serve whose
kingdom is not of this world : my mission is to mortify in
these girls the lusts of the flesh ; to teach them to clothe
themselves with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with
braided hair and costly apparel; and each of the young
persons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits which
vanity itself might have woven : these, I repeat, must be
cut off; think of the time wasted, of '
Mr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted : three other
visitors, ladies, now entered the room. They ought to have
come a little sooner to have heard his lecture on dress, for
they were splendidly attired in velvet, silk, and furs. The
two younger of the trio (fine girls of sixteen and seventeen)
had grey beaver hats, then in fashion, shaded with ostrich
plumes, and from under the brim of this graceful head-dress
fell a profusion of light tresses, elaborately curled ; the
elder lady was enveloped in a costly velvet shawl, trimmed
with ermine, and she wore a false front of French curls.
These ladies were deferentially received by Miss Temple,
as Mrs. and the Misses Brocklehurst, and conducted to seats
of honour at the top of the room. It seems they had come
in the carriage with their reverend relative, and had been
conducting a rummaging scrutiny of the rooms upstairs,
while he transacted business with the housekeeper, questioned
the laundress, and lectured the superintendent. They now
proceeded to address divers remarks and reproofs to Miss
Smith, who was charged with the care of the linen and the
inspection of the dormitories : but I had no time to listen to
what they said ; other matters called off and enchained my
attention.
JANE BYEE 73
Hitherto, while gathering up the discourse of Mr.
Brocklehurst and Miss Temple, I had not, at the same time,
•neglected precautions to secure my personal safety ; which
I thought would be effected, if I could only elude observa-
tion. To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and
while seeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate
in such a manner as to conceal my face : I might have
escaped notice, had not my treacherous slate somehow
happened to slip from my hand and falling with an ob-
trusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me ; 1 knew it
was all over now, and, as I stooped to pick up tho two
fragments of slate, I rallied my forces for the worst-. It
came.
1 A careless girl ! ' said Mr. Brocklehurst, and im-
mediately after — ' It is the new pupil, I perceive.1 And
before I could draw breath, ' I must not forget I have a
word to say respecting her.1 Then aloud: how loud it
seemed to me ' ' Let the child who broke her slate, come
forward ! *
Of my own accord, I could not have stii red : I was
paralysed : but the two great girls who sat on each side of
me, set me on my legs and pushed me towards the dread
judge, and then Miss Temple gently assisted me to his very
feet, and I caught her whispered counsel, — 'Don't be
afraid, Jane, I saw it was an accident ; you shall not be
punished/
The kind whisper went to my heart like a dagger.
'Another minute, and she will despise me for a
hypocrite/ thought I; and an impulse of fury against
Eeed, Brocklehurst, and Co. bounded in my pulses at the
conviction. I was no Helen Burns.
' Fetch that stool/ said Mr. Brocklehurst, pointing to a
very high one from which a monitor had just risen : it was
brought.
1 Place the child upon it/
And I was placed there, by whom I don't know : I was
in no condition to note particulars : I was only aware that
74 JANE EYBE
they had hoisted me up to the height of Mr. Brocklehurst's
nose, that he was within a yard of me, and that a spread of
shot orange and purple silk pelisses, and a cloud of silvery
plumage extended and waved below me.
Mr. Brocklehurst hemmed.
1 Ladies/ said he, turning to his family ; ' Miss Temple,
teachers, and children, you all see this girl ? '
Of course they did; for I felt their eyes directed like
burning-glasses against my scorched skin.
1 You see she is yet young ; you observe she possesses
the ordinary form of childhood ; God has graciously given
her the shape that he has given to all of us ; no signal
deformity points her out as a marked character. Who would
think that the Evil One had already found a servant and
agent in her ? Yet such, I grieve to say, is the case.'
A pause — in which I began to steady the palsy of my
nerves, and to feel that the Eubicon was passed ; and that
the trial, no longer to shirked, must be firmly sustained.
1 My dear children/ pursued the black marble clergyman,
with pathos, ' this is a sad, a melancholy occasion ; for it
becomes my duty to warn you, that this girl, who might be
one of God's own lambs, is a little castaway : not a member
of the true flock, but evidently an interloper and an alien.
You must be on your guard against her ; you must shun her
example : if necessary, avoid her company, exclude her from
your sports, and shut her out from your converse. Teachers,
you must watch her: keep your eyes on her movements,
weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions, punish her
body to save her soul : if, indeed, such salvation be possible,
for (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child,
the native of a Christian land, worse than many a little
heathen who says its prayers to Brahma and kneels before
Juggernaut— this girl is — a liar ! '
Now came a pause of ten minutes ; during which I, by
this time in perfect possession of my wits, observed all the
female Brocklehursts produce their pocket-handkerchiefs
and apply them to their optics, while the elderly lady swayed
JANE EYRE 75
herself to and fro, and the two younger ones whispered,
1 How shocking ! '
Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.
4 This I learned from her benefactress ; from the pious
and charitable lady who adopted her in her orphan state,
reared her as her own daughter, and whose kindness, whose
generosity the unhappy girl repaid by an ingratitude so bad,
so dreadful, that at last her excellent patroness was obliged
to separate her from her own young ones, fearful lest her
vicious example should contaminate their purity : she has
sent her here to be healed, even as the Jews of old sent their
diseased to the troubled pool of Bethesda; and, teachers,
superintendent, I beg of you not to allow the waters 10
stagnate round her.'
With this sublime conclusion, Mr. Brocklehurst adjusted
the top button of his surtout, muttered something to his
family, who rose, bowed to Miss Temple, and then all the
great people sailed in state from the room. Turning at the
door, my judge said : — ' Let her stand half an hour longer
on that stool, and let no one speak to her during the re-
mainder of the day.1
There was I, then, mounted aloft : I, who had said I
jould not bear the shame of standing on my natural feet in
the middle of the room, was now exposed to general view
on a pedestal of infamy. What my sensations were, no
language can describe : but just as they all rose, stifling my
breath and constricting my throat, a girl caine up and passed
me : in passing, she lifted her eyes. What a strange light
inspired them I What an extraordinary sensation that ray
sent through me ! How the new feeling bore me up ! It
was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim, and
imparted strength in the transit. I mastered the rising
hysteria, lifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the
stool. Helen Burns asked some slight question about her
work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the triviality of the
inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she again
went; by. What a smile ! I remember it now, and I know
76 JANE EYRE
that it was the effluence of fine intellect, of true courage ; it
lit up her marked lineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey
eye, like a reflection from the aspect of an angel. Yet at
that moment Ilctan Burns wore on her arm ' the untidy
badge ' ; scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned
by Miss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the
morrow, because she had blotted an exercise in copying it
out. Such is the imperfect nature of man ! such spots are
there on the disc of i.he clearest planet ; and eyes like Miss
Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind
to the full brightness of the orb.
JANE EYEE 77
CHAPTER VIII
EKE the half -hour ended, five o'clock struck ; school was
dismissed and all were gone into the refectory to tea. I
now ventured to descend : it was deep dusk ; I retired into
a corner and sat down on the floor. The spell by which I
had been sn far supported began to dissolve ; reaction took
place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized
me, I sank prostrate with my face to the ground. Now I
wept : Helen Burns was not here ; nothing sustained me ;
left to myself I abandoned myself, and my tears watered the
boards. I had meant to be so good, and to do so much at
Lowood : to make so many friends, to earn respect, and win
affection. Already I had made visible progress : that very
morning I had reached the head of my class ; Miss Miller
had praised me warmly ; Miss Temple had smiled approba-
tion ; she had promised to teach me drawing, arid to let me
learn French, if I continued to make similar improvement
two months longer: and then I was well-received by my
fellow-pupils ; treated as an equal by those of my own age,
and not molested by any ; now, here I lay again crushed and
trodden on ; and could I ever rise more ?
'Never/ I thought; and ardently I wished to die.
While sobbing out this wish in broken accents, some one
approached : I started up —again Helen Burns was near
me ; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,
vacant room ; she brought my coffee and bread.
' Come, eat something/ she said ; but I put both away
from me, feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked
me in my present condition. Helen regarded me, probably
with surprise : I could not DOW abate my agitation, though I
78 JANE EYRE
tried hard ; I continued to weep aloud. She sat down on
the ground near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and
rested her head upon them ; in that attitude she remained
silent as an Indian. I was the first who spoke : — ' Helen,
why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be
a liar?1
1 Everybody, Jane ? Why, there are only eighty people
who have heard you called so, and the world contains
hundreds of millions/
' But what have I to do with millions ? The eighty 1
know despise me/
' Jane, you are mistaken : probably not one in the school
either despises or dislikes you : many, I am sure, pity you
much.'
1 How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst
said?'
1 Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god : nor is he even a great
and admired man : he is little liked here ; he never took
steps to make himself liked. Had he treated you as an
especial favourite, you would have found enemies, declared
or covert, all around you : as it is, the greater number would
offer you sympathy if they dared. Teachers and pupils may
look coldly on you for a day or two, but friendly feelings are
concealed in their hearts; and if you persevere in doing
well, these feelings will ere long appear so much the more
evident for their temporary suppression. Besides, Jane/
she paused.
1 Well, Helen ? ' said I, putting my hand into hers : she
chafed my fingers gently to warm them, and went on : —
' If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked,
while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you
from guilt, you would not be without friends/
1 No ; I know I should think well of myself ; but that is
not enough : if others don't love me, I would rather die than
live — I cannot bear to be solitary and hated, Helen. Look
here ; to gain some real affection from you, or Miss Temple,
or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly submit to
JANE EYEB 79
have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or
to stand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at
my chest/
1 Hush, Jane ! you think too much of the love of human
beings, you are too impulsive, too vehement : the sovereign
hand that created your frame, and put life into it, has pro-
vided you with other resources than your feeble self, or than
creatures feeble as you. Besides this earth, and besides the
race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of
spirits : that world is round us, for it is everywhere ; and
those spirits watch us, for they are commissioned to guard
us ; and if we were dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote
us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see our tor-
tures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be : as I know
you are of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly
and pompously repeated at second-hand from Mrs. Eeed ;
for I read a sincere nature in your ardent eyes and on your
clear front), and God waits only the separation of spirit from
flesh to crown us with a full reward. Why, then, should we
ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon
over, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness— to
glory ? '
I was silent : Helen had calmed me ; but in the tran-
quillity she imparted there was an alloy of inexpressible
sadness. I felt the impression of woe as she spoke, but I
could not tell whence it came ; and when, having done
speaking, she breathed a little fast and coughed a short
cough, I momentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a
vague concern for her.
Besting my head on Helen's should »r, I put my arms
round her waist; she drew me to her, and we reposed in
silence. We had not sat long thus, when another person
came in. Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a
rising wind, had left the moon bare ; and her light, stream-
ing in through a window near, shone full both on us and on
the approaching figure, which we at once recognised as Miss
Temple.
80 JANE EYRE
1 1 caine on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre/ said she ;
1 1 want you in my room ; and as Helen Burns is with you,
she may come too/
We went ; following the superintendent's guidance, we
had to thread some intricate passages, and mount a stair-
case before we reached her apartment; it contained a
good fire, and looked cheerful. Miss Temple told Helen
Burns to be seated in a low arm-chair on one side of the
hearth, and herself taking another, she called mu to her
side.
1 Is it all over ? ' she asked, looking down at my facet
* Have you ci icd your grief away ? '
' I am afraid I never shall do that.'
1 Why ? '
1 Because I have been wrongly accused ; and you, ma'am,
and everybody else will now think me wicked.'
' We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my
child. Continue to act as a good girl, and you will satisfy
me.1
1 Shall I, Miss Temple ? '
1 You will,' said she, passing her arm round me. ' And
now tell me who is the lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called
your benefactress ? '
1 Mrs. Eeed, my uncle's wife. My uncle is dead, and he
left me to her care.'
1 Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord ? '
' No, ma'am ; she was sorry to have to do it : but my uncle,
as I have often heard the servants say, got her to promise
before he died, that she would always keep me.'
' Well, now, Jane, you know, or at least 1 will tell you,
that when a criminal is accused, he is always allowed to
speak in his own defence. You have been charged with
falsehood ; defend yourself to me as well as you can. Say
whatever your memory suggests as true ; but add nothing
and exaggerate nothing/
I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be
most moderate — most correct ; and, having reflected a few
JANE EYEB 81
minutes in order to arrange coherently what I had to say, I
told her all the story of my sad childhood. Exhausted by
emotion, my language was more subdued than it generally
was when it developed that sad theme ; and mindful of
Helen's warnings against the indulgence of resentment, I
infused into the narrative far less of gall and wormwood
than ordinary. Thus restrained and simplified, it sounded
more credible : I felt as I went on that Miss Temple fully
believed me.
In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as
having come to see me after the fit : for I never forgot the,
to me, frightful episode of the red-room ; in detailing which,
my excitement was sure, in some degree, to break bounds ;
for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of
agony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Eeed spurned
my wild supplication for pardon, and locked me a second
time in the dark and haunted chamber.
I had finished : Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes
in silence ; she then said: — ' I know something of Mr. Lloyd;
I shall write to him ; if his reply agrees with your statement,
you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation : to me,
Jane, you are clear now/
She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I
was well contented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure
from the contemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two
ornaments, her white forehead, her clustered and shining
curls, and beaming dark eyes), she proceeded to address
Helen Burns.
1 How are you to-night, Helen ? Have you coughed
much to-day ? '
' Not quite so much, I think, ma'am.'
1 And the pain in your chest ? '
' It is a little better/
Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her
pulse ; then she returned to her own seat : as she resumed
it, I heard her sigh low. She was pensive a few minutes,
then rousing herself, she said cheerfully : — * But you two are
82 JANE EYEE
my visitors to-night ; I must treat you as such.' She rang
her bell.
'Barbara/ she said to the servant who answered it,
1 1 have not yet had tea ; bring the tray, and place cups for
these two young ladies/
And a tray was soon brought. How pretty, to my eyes,
did the china cups and bright teapot look, placed on the
little round table near the fire! How fragrant was the
steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast ! of which,
however, I, to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry),
discerned only a very small portion : Miss Temple discerned
it too :— ' Barbara/ said she, ' can you not bring a little more
bread and butter ? There is not enough for three.1
Barbara went out : she returned soon : — ' Madam, Mrs.
Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity/
Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a
woman after Mr. Brocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal
parts of whalebone and iron.
I Oh, very well 1 ' returned Miss Temple ; ' we must make
it do, Barbara, I suppose/ And as the girl withdrew, she
added, smiling, ' Fortunately, I have it in my power to
supply deficiencies for this once/
Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and
placed before each of us a cup of tea with one delicious but
thin morsel of toast, she got up, unlocked a drawer, and
taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper, disclosed presently
to our eyes a good- sized seed-cake.
I 1 meant to give each of you some of this to take with
you/ said she ; ' but as there is so little toast, you must
have it now/ and she proceeded to cut slices with a generous
hand.
We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia ; and
not the least delight of the entertainment was the smile of
gratification with which our hostess regarded us, as we
satisfied our famished appetites on the delicate fare she
liberally supplied. Tea over and the tray removed, she
again summoned us to the fire ; we sat one on each side of her,
JANE EYBE 83
and now a conversation followed between her and Helen,
which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear.
Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her
air, of state in her mien, of refined propriety in her language,
which precluded deviation into the ardent, the excited, the
eager: something which chastened the pleasure of those
who looked on her and listened to her, by a controlling sense
of awe ; and such was my feeling now ; but as to Helen
Burns, I was struck with wonder.
The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and
kindness of her beloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than
all these, something in her own unique mind, had roused
her powers within her. They woke, they kindled : first, they
glowed in the bright tint of her cheek, which till this hour I
had never seen but pale and bloodless ; then they shone in
the liquid lustre of her eyes, which had suddenly acquired a
beauty more singular than that of Miss Temple's — a beauty
neither of fine colour nor long eyelash, nor pencilled brow,
but of meaning, of movement, of radiance. Then her soul
sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what source I
cannot tell: has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough,
vigorous enough, to hold the swelling spring of pure, full,
fervid eloquence ? Such was the characteristic of Helen's
discourse on that, to me, memorable evening; her spirit
seemed hastening to live within a very brief span as much
as many live during a protracted existence.
They conversed of things I had never heard of : of nations
and times past ; of countries far away : of secrets of nature
discovered or guessed at : they spoke of books : how many
they had read 1 What stores of knowledge they possessed !
Then they seemed so familiar with French names and
French authors: but my amazement reached its climax
when Miss Temple asked Helen if she sometimes snatched
a moment to recall the Latin her father had taught her, and
taking a book from a shelf, bade her read and construe a
page of ' Virgil ' ; and Helen obeyed, my organ of Veneration
expanding at every sounding line. She had scarcely finished
84 JANE BYEE
ere the bell announced bedtime : no delay could be admitted ;
Miss Temple embraced us both, saying, as she drew us to
her heart : — ' God bless you, my children ! '
Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her
go more reluctantly ; it was Helen her eye followed to the
door ; it was for her she a second time breathed a sad sigh ;
for her she wiped a tear from her cheek.
On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss
Scatcherd : she was examining drawers ; she had just pulled
out Helen Burns's, and when we entered Helen was greeted
with a sharp reprimand, and told that to-morrow she should
have half a dozen of untidily-folded articles pinned to her
shoulder.
' My things were indeed in shameful disorder/ murmured
Helen to me, in a low voice : ' I intended to have arranged
them, but I forgot/
Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous
characters on a piece of pasteboard the word ' Slattern/ and
bound it like a phylactery round Helen's large, mild, intelli-
gent, and benign-looking forehead. She wore it till evening,
patient, unresentful, regarding it as a deserved punishment.
The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon-
school, I ran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire :
the fury of which she was incapable had been burning in
my soul all day, and tears, hot and large, had continually
been scalding my cheek ; for the spectacle of her sad resig-
nation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.
About a week subsequently to the incidents above nar-
rated, Miss Temple, who had written to Mr. Lloyd, received
his answer : it appeared that what he said went to corrobo-
rate my account. Miss Temple, having assembled the whole
school, announced that inquiry had been made into the
charges alleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most
happy to be able to pronounce her completely cleared from
every imputation. The teachers then shook hands with
me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran through
the ranks of my companions.
JANE BYEB 85
Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to
work afresh, resolved to pioneer my way through every
difficulty : I toiled hard, and my success was proportionate
to my efforts ; my memory, not naturally tenacious, improved
with practice : exercise sharpened my wits ; in a few weeks
I was promoted to a higher class ; in less than two months
I was allowed to commence French and drawing. I learned
the firsu two tenses of the verb Etre, and sketched my first
cottage (whose walls, by-t.he-by, outrivalled m slope those of
the leaning tower of Pisa), on the same day. That night,
on going to bed, 1 forgot to prepare in imagination the
Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread and
new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward
cravings : I feasted instead on the spectacle of ideal draw-
ings, which I saw in the dark ; all the work of my own
hands : freely pencilled houses and trees, picturesque rocks
and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings of
butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at
ripe cherries, of wrens' nests enclosing pearl-like eggs,
wreathed about with young ivy sprays. I examined, too, in
thought, the possibility of my ever being able to translate
currently a certain little French story-book which Madame
Pierrot had that day shown me ; nor was that problem
solved to my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.
Well has Solomon said --'Better is a dinner of herbs
where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.'
I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its
privations, for Gateshead and its daily luxuries.
86 JANE EYEE
CHAPTEE IX
BUT the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood
lessened. Spring drew on : she was indeed already come ;
the frosts of winter had ceased ; its snows were melted, its
cutting winds ameliorated. My wretched feet, flayed and
swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to
heal and subside under the gentler breathings of April ; the
nights and mornings no longer by their Canadian tempera-
ture froze the very blood in our veins ; we could now endure
the play-hour passed in the garden : sometimes on a sunny
day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a greenness
grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily,
suggested the thought that Hope traversed them at night,
and left each morning brighter traces of her steps. Mowers
peeped out amongst the leaves ; snowdrops, crocuses, purple
auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies. On Thursday after-
noons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still
sweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.
I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment
which the horizon only bounded, lay all outside the high and
spike-guarded walls of our garden : this pleasure consisted in
prospect of noble summits girdling a great hill-hollow, rich
in verdure and shadow ; in a bright beck, full of dark stones
and sparkling eddies. How different had this scene looked
when I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter
stiffened in frost, shrouded with snow I — when mists as
chill as death wandered to the impulse of east winds along
those purple peaks, and rolled down ' ing ' and holm till they
blended with the frozen fog of the beck I That beck itself
was then a torrent, turbid and curbless : it tore asunder the
JANE EYEE 87
wood, and sent a raving sound through the air, often thick-
ened with wild rain or whirling sleet ; and for the forest on
its banks, that showed only ranks of skeletons.
April advanced to May : a bright, serene May it was ;
days of blue sky, placid sunshine, and soft western 01
southern gales filled up its duration. And now vegetation
matured with vigour ; Lowood shook loose its tresses ; it
became all green, all flowery ; its great elm, ash, and oak
skeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants
sprang up profusely in its recesses ; unnumbered varieties
of moss filled its hollows, and it made a strange ground-
sunshine out of the wealth of its wild primrose plants : I
have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed spots like
scatterings of the sweetest lustre. All this I enjoyed often
and fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone : for this un-
wonted liberty and pleasure there was a cause, to which it
now becomes my task to advert.
Have I not described a pleasant site for a dwelling, when
I speak of it as bosomed in hill and wood, and rising from
the verge of a stream ? Assuredly, pleasant enough : but
whether healthy or not is another question.
That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of
fog and fog-bred pestilence ; which, quickening with the
quickening spring, crept into the Orphan Asylum, breathed
typhus through its crowded schoolroom and dormitory,
and, ere May arrived, transformed the seminary into a
hospital.
Semi-starvation and neglected colds had predisposed
most of the pupils to receive infection : forty-five out of the
eighty girls lay ill at one time. Classes were broken up,
rules relaxed. The few who continued well were allowed
almost unlimited licence ; because the medical attendant
insisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to keep them
in health : and had it been otherwise, no one had leisure
to watch or restrain them. Miss Temple's whole attention
was absorbed by the patients : she lived in the sick-room,
never quitting it except to snatch a few hours' rest at night
88 JANE EYEB
The teachers were fully occupied with packing up and
making other necessary preparations for the departure of
those girls who were fortunate enough to have friends and
relations able and willing to remove them from the seat of
contagion. Many, already smitten, went home only to die :
some died at the school, and were buried quietly and quickly,
the nature of the malady forbidding delay.
While disease had thus become an inhabitant of Lowood,
and death its frequent visitor ; while there was gloom and
fear within its walls ; while its rooms and passages steamed
with hospital smells, the drug and the pastille striving vainly
to overcome the effluvia of mortality, that bright May shone
unclouded over the bold hills and beautiful woodland out of
doors. Its garden, too, glowed with flowers ; hollyhocks had
sprung up tall as trees, lilies had opened, tulips and roses
were in bloom ; the borders of the little beds were gay with
pink thrift and crimson double-daisies ; the sweetbners gave
out, morning and evening, their scent of spice and apples ;
and these fragrant treasures were all useless for most of the
inmates of Lowood, except to furnish now and then a hand-
ful of herbs and blossoms to put in a coffin.
But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed fully the
beauties of the scene and season : they let us ramble in the
wood, like gipses, from morning till night ; we did what we
liked, went where we liked: we lived better too. Mr.
Brocklehurst and his family never came near Lowood now :
household matters were not scrutinised into ; the cross
housekeeper was gone, driven away by the fear of infection ;
her successor, who had been matron at the Lowton Dis-
pensary, unused to the ways of her new abode, provided
with comparative liberality. Besides, there were fewer to
feed : the sick could eat little ; our breakfast-basins were
better filled : when there was no time to prepare a regular
dinner, which often happened, she would give us a large
piece of cold pie, or a thick slice of bread and cheese, and
this we carried away with us to the wood, where we each
chose uhe spot we liked best, and dined sumptuously.
JANE EYES 89
My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone, rising
white and dry from the very middle of the beck, and only to
be got at by wading through the water ; a feat I accom-
plished barefoot. The stone was just broad enough to
accommodate, comfortably, another girl and me, at that
time my chosen comrade — one Mary Ann Wilson ; a shrewd,
observant personage, whose society I took pleasure in, partly
because she was witty and original, and partly because she
had a manner which set me at my ease. Some years older
than I, she knew more of the world, and could tell me many
things I liked to hear : with her my curiosity found gratifi-
cation : to my faults also she gave ample indulgence, never
imposing curb or rein on anything I said. She had a turn
for narrative, I for analysis ; she liked to inform, I to ques-
tion ; so we got on swimmingly together, deriving much
entertainment, if not much improvement, from our mutual
intercourse.
And where, meantime, was Helen Burns ? Why did I
not spend these sweet days of liberty with her? Had I
forgotten her ? or was I so worthless as to have grown tired
of her pure society ? Surely the Mary Ann Wilson I have
mentioned was inferior to my first acquaintance : she could
only tell me amusing stories, and reciprocate any racy and
pungent gossip I chose to indulge in ; while, if I have spoken
truth of Helen, she was qualified to give those who enjoyed
the privilege of her converse, a taste of far higher things.
True, reader ; and I knew and felt this : and though I
am a defective being, with many faults and few redeeming
points, yet I never tired of Helen Burns ; nor ever ceased
to cherish for her a sentiment of attachment, as strong,
tender, and respectful as any that ever animated my heart.
How could it be otherwise, when Helen, at all times and
under all circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and faithful
friendship, which ill-humour never soured, nor irritation ever
troubled ? But Helen was ill at present : for some weeks
she had been removed from my sight to I knew not what
room upstairs. She was not, 1 was told, in the hospital
90 JANE EYBE
portion of the house with the fever patients ; for her com-
plaint was consumption, not typhus : and by consumption
I, in my ignorance, understood something mild, which time
and care would he sure to alleviate.
I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or
twice coming downstairs on very warm sunny afternoons,
and being taken by Miss Temple into the garden : but, on
these occasions, I was not allowed to go and speak to her ;
I only saw her from the schoolroom window, and then not
distinctly ; for she was much wrapped up, and sat at a dis-
tance under the verandah.
One evening, in the beginning of June, I had stayed out
very late with Mary Ann in the wood ; we had, as usual,
separated ourselves from the others, and had wandered far :
so far that we lost our way, and had to ask it at a lonely
cottage, where a man and woman lived, who looked after a
herd of half -wild swine that fed on the mast in the wood.
When we got back, it was after moon-rise : a pony, which
we knew to be the surgeon's, was standing at the garden
door. Mary Ann remarked that she supposed some one
must be very ill, as Mr. Bates had been sent for at that time
of the evening. She went into the house ; I stayed behind a
few minutes to plant in my garden a handful of roots I had
dug up in the forest, and which I feared would wither if I
left them till the morning. This done, I lingered yet a little
longer : the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew fell ; it was
such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm ; the still glow-
ing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow ;
the moon rose with such majesty in the grave east. I was
noting these things and enjoying them as a c1 ild might,
when it entered my mind as it had never done before : —
' How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in
danger of dying I This world is pleasant — it would be
dreary to be called from it, and to have to go who knows
where ? '
And then my mind made its first earnest effort to com-
prehend what had been infused into it concerning heaven
JANE EYEE 91
and hell : and for the first time it recoiled, baffled ; and for
the first time glancing behind, on each side, and before it, it
saw all round an unf athomed gulf : it felt the one point
where it stood — the present ; all the rest was formless cloud
and vacant depth : and it shuddered at the thought of totter-
ing, and plunging amid that chaos. While pondering this
new idea, I heard the front door open ; Mr. Bates came out,
and with him was a nurse. After she had seen him mount
his horse and depart, she was about to close the door, but I
ran up to her.
1 How is Helen Burns ? '
' Very poorly,1 was the answer.
1 Is it her Mr. Bates has been to see ? '
' Yes/
' And what does he say about her ? '
' He says she'll not be here long/
This phrase, uttered in my hearing yesterday, would have
only conveyed the notion that she was about to be removed
to Northumberland, to her own home. I should not have
suspected that it meant she was dying ; but I knew instantly
now: it opened clear on my comprehension that Helen
Burns was numbering her last days in this world, and that
she was going to be taken to the region of spirits, if such
region there were. I experienced a shock of horror, then a
strong thrill of grief, then a desire — a necessity to see her,
and I asked in what room she lay.
' She is in Miss Temple's room/ said the nurse.
1 May I go up and speak to her ? '
1 Oh no, child ! It is not likely ; and now it is time for
you to come in ; you'll catch the fever if you stop out when
the dew is falling/
The nurse closed the front door ; I went in by the side
entrance which led to the schoolroom : I was just in time ;
it was nine o'clock, and Miss Miller was calling the pupils to
go to bed.
It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when
I— not having been able to fall asleep, and deeming, from
92 JANE EYEE
the perfect silence of the dormitory, that my companions
were all wrapt in profound repose — rose softly, put on my
frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept from the
apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room. It
was quite at the other end of the house ; but I knew my
way ; and the light of the unclouded summer moon, entering
here and there at passage windows, enabled me to find it
without difficulty. An odour of camphor and burnt vinegar
warned me when I came near the fever room : and I passed
its door quickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night
should hear me. I dreaded being discovered and sent back ;
for I must see Helen, — I must embrace her before she died,
— I must give her one last kiss, exchange with her one
last word.
Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the
house below, and succeeded in opening and shutting, without
noise, two doors, I reached another flight of steps ; these I
mounted, and then just opposite to me was Miss Temple's
room. A light shone through the key -hole, and from under
the door ; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.
Coming near, I found the door slightly ajar; probably to
admit some fresh air into the close abode of sickness.
Indisposed to hesitate, and full of impatient impulses —
soul and senses quivering with keen throes — I put it back
and looked in. My eye sought Helen, and feared to find
death.
Close by Miss Temple's bed, and half covered with its
white curtains, there stood a little crib. I saw the outline of
a form under the clothes, but the face was hid by the hang-
ings : the nurse I had spoken to in the garden sat in an
easy-chair, asleep ; an unsnuffed candle burnt dimly on the
table. Miss Temple was not to be seen ; I knew afterwards
that she had been called to a delirious patient in the fever-
room. I advanced ; then paused by the crib side : my hand
was on the curtain, but I preferred speaking before I with-
drew it. I still recoiled at the dread of seeing a corpse.
' Helen 1 ' I whispered softly, ' are you awake ? '
JANE EYEE 93
She stirred herself, put back the curtain, and I saw her
face, pale, wasted, but quite composed : she looked so little
changed that my fear was instantly dissipated.
'Can it be you, Jane?' she asked in her own gentle
voice.
' Oh ! ' I thought, ' she is not going to die : they are
mistaken : she could not speak and look so calmly if she
were.1
I got on to her crib and kissed her : her forehead was
cold, and her cheek both cold and thin, and so were her
hand and wrist ; but she smiled as of old.
'Why are you come here, Jane? It is past eleven
o'clock : I heard it strike some minutes since.'
I 1 came to see you, Helen : I heard you were very ill, and
I could not sleep till I had spoken to you.'
' You came to bid me good-bye, then : you are just in time
probably.'
'Are you going somewhere, Helen? Are you going
home?1
' Yes ; to my long home — my last horde.'
' No, no, Helen ! ' I stopped distressed. While I tried
to devour my tears, a fit of coughing seized Helen ; it did
not, however, wake the nurse ; when it was over, she lay some
minutes exhausted ; then she whispered : — ' Jane, your little
feet are bare ; lie down and cover yourself with my quilt.'
I did so : she put her arm over me, and I nestled close to
her. After a long silence, she resumed ; still whispering, —
' I am very happy, Jane ; and when you hear that I am
dead, you must be sure and not grieve : there is nothing to
grieve about. We all must die one day, and the illness
which is removing me is not painful; it is gentle and
gradual : my mind is at rest. I leave no one to regret me
much : I have only a father ; and he is lately married, and
will not miss me. By dying young, I shall escape great suffer-
ings. I had not qualities or talents to make my way very
well in the world; I should have been continually at
fault.'
94 JANE EYEE
'But where are you going to, Helen? Can you see?
Do you know ? '
' I believe : I have faith : I am going to God.'
1 Where is God ? What is God ? '
1 My Maker and yours, who will never destroy what he
created. I rely implicitly on his power, and confide wholly
in his goodness: I count the houis till that eventful one
arrives which shall restore me to him, reveal him to
me.1
' You are sure, then, Helen, that there is such a place as
heaven ; and that our souls can get to it when we die ? '
'I am sure there is a future state; I believe God is
good ; I can resign my immortal part to him without any
misgiving. God is my father ; God is my friend : I love
him ; I believe he loves me.
' And shall I see you again, Helen, when I die ? '
'You will come to the same region of happiness: be
received by the same mighty, universal Parent, no doubt,
dear Jane/
Again I questioned; but this time only in thought.
' Where is that region ? Does it exist ? ' And I clasped my
arms closer round Helen ; she seemed dearer to me than
ever ; I felt as if I could not let her go ; I lay with my
face hidden on her neck. Presently she said in the sweetest
tone, — ' How comfortable I am 1 That last fit of coughing
has tired me a little ; I feel as if I could sleep : but don't
leave me, Jane ; I like to have you near me.'
' I'll stay with you, dear Helen : no one shall take me
away.1
' Are you warm, darling ? '
1 Yes.'
' Good-night, Jane.'
1 Good-night, Helen.'
She kissed me, and I her ; and we both soon slumbered.
When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement
roused me; I looked up; I was in somebody's arms; the
nurse held me ; she was carrying me through the passage
JANE EYEE 95
back to the dormitory. I was not reprimanded for leaving
my bed ; people had something else to think about : no
explanation was afforded then to my many questions ; but
a day or two afterwards I learned that Miss Temple, on
returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid in a
little ci ib ; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my
arms round her neck. I was asleep, and Helen was —dead.
Her grave is in Brocklebndge churchyard : for fifteen
years after her death it was only covered by a grassy mound ;
but now a grey marble tablet marks the spot, inscribed with
her name, and the word ' Besurgam.'
96 JANE EYEB
CHAPTEE X
HITHERTO I have recorded in detail the events of my insignifi-
cant existence : to the first ten years of my life, I have given
almost as many chapters. But this is not to bs a regular auto-
biography : I am only bound to invoke memory where I know
her responses will possess some degree of interest ; therefore
I now pass a space of eight years almost in silence : a few
lines only are necessary to keep up the links of connection.
When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devas-
tation at Lowood, it gradually disappeared from thence ; but
not till its virulence and the number of its victims had
drawn public attention on the school. Inquiry was made
into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts
came out which excited public indignation in a high degree.
The unhealthy nature of the site ; the quantity and quality of
the children's food; the brackish, fetid water used in its
preparation ; the pupils' wretched clothing and accommoda-
tion : all these things were discovered ; and the discovery
produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklchurst, but
beneficial to the institution.
Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the
county subscribed largely for the erection of a more con-
venient building in a better situation ; new regulations were
made ; improvements in diet and clothing introduced ; the
funds of the school were entrusted to the management of a
committee. Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and
family connections, could not be overlooked, still retained
the post of treasurer ; but he was aided in the discharge of
his duties by gentlemen of rather more enlarged and sym-
pathising minds : his office of inspector, too, was shared by
JANE EYEE 97
those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,
comfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.
The school, thus improved, became in time a truly useful
and noble institution. I remained an inmate of its walls,
after its regeneration, for eight years : six as pupil, and two
as teacher ; and in both capacities I bear my testimony to
its value and importance.
During these eight years my life was uniform : but not
unhappy, because it was not inactive. I had the means of an
excellent education placed within my reach. A fondness for
some of my studies, and a desire to excel in all, together
with a great delight in pleasing my teachers, especially such
as I loved, urged me on : I availed myself fully of the advan-
tages offeied me. In time I rose to be the first ghl of the
first class ; then I was invested with the office of teacher ;
which I discharged with zeal for two years ; but at the end
of that time I altered.
Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far continued
superintendent of the seminary : to her instruction I owed
the best part of my acquirements ; her friendship and society
had been my continual solace : she had stood me in the stead
of mother, governess, and, latterly, companion. At thi»<period
she married, removed with her husband (a clergyman, an
excellent man, almost worthy of such a wife) to a distant
county, and consequently was lost to me.
From the day she left I was no longer the same : with
her was gone every settled feeling, every association that
had made Lowood in some degree a home to me. I had
imbibed from her something of her nature and much of her
habits: more harmonious thoughts: what seemed better-
regulated feelings had become the inmates of iny mind. I
had given in allegiance to duty and order ; I was quiet ; I
believed I was content : to the eyes of others, usually even to
my own, I appeared a disciplined and subdued character.
But destiny, in the shape of the Bev. Mr. Nasmy th, came
between me and Miss Temple : I saw her in her travelling
dress step into a post-chaise, shortly after the marriage
98 JANE EYEE
ceremony; I watched the chaise mount the hill and dis-
appear beyond its brow ; and then retired to my own room,
and there spent in solitude the greatest part of the half -holi-
day granted in honour of the occasion.
I walked about the chamber most of the time. I im-
agined myself only to be regretting my loss, and thinking how
to repair it ; but when my reflections were concluded, and I
looked up and found that the afternoon was gone, and even-
ing far advanced, another discovery dawned on me, namely,
that in the interval I had undergone a transforming process;
that my mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss Temple
— or rather that she had taken with her the serene atmo-
sphere I had been breathing in her vicinity — and that now I
was left in my natural element, and beginning to feel the
stirring of old emotions. It did not seem as if a pi*op were
withdrawn, but rather as if a motive wore gone ; it was not
the power to be tranquil which had failed me, but the reason
for tranquillity was no more. My world had for some years
been in Lowood : my experience had been of its rules and
systems ; now I remembered that the real world was wide,
and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and
excitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into
its expanse, to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.
I went to my window, opened it, and looked out. There
were the two wings of the building ; there was the garden ;
there were the skirts of Lowood ; there was the hilly horizon.
My eye passed all other objects to rest on those most remote,
the blue peaks: it was those I longed to surmount; all
within their boundary of rock and heath seemed prison-
ground, exile limits. I traced the white road winding round
the base of one mountain, and vanishing in a gorge between
two : how I longed to follow it further ! I recalled the
time when I had travelled that very road in a coach ; I re-
membered descending that hill at twilight : an age seemed to
have elapsed since the day which brought me first to Lowood,
and I had never quitted it since. My vacations had all
been spent at school : Mrs. Heed had never sent for me to
JANE EYEB 99
Gateshead ; neither she nor any of her family had ever been
to visit me. I had had no communication by letter or
message with the outer world : school-rules, school-duties,
school-habits and notions, and voices, and faces, and phrases,
and costumes, and preferences, and antipathies : such was
what I knew of existence. And now I felt that it was not
enough : I tired of the routine of eight years in one after-
noon. I desired liberty ; for liberty I gasped ; for liberty I
uttered a prayer; it seemed scattered on the wind then
faintly blowing. I abandoned it and framed a humbler
supplication ; for change, stimulus : that petition, too,
seemed swept off into vague space : ' Then/ I cried, half
desperate, ' grant me at least a new servitude ! '
Here a bell, ringing the hour of supper, called me down-
stairs.
I was not free to resume the interrupted chain of my
reflections till bedtime : even then a teacher who occupied
the same room with me kept me from the subject to which
I longed to recur, by a prolonged effusion of small talk.
How I wished sleep would silence her ! It seemed as if,
could I but go back to the idea which had last entered my
mind as I stood at the window, some inventive suggestion
would rise for my relief.
Miss Gryce snored at last; she was a heavy Welsh-
woman, and till now her habitual nasal strains had never
been regarded by me in any other light than as a nuisance 5
to-night I hailed the first deep notes with satisfaction ; I
was debarrassed of interruption ; my half-effaced thought
instantly revived.
' A new servitude ! There is something in that,' I
soliloquised (mentally, be it understood; I did not talk
aloud). 'I know there is, because it does not sound too
sweet; it is not like such words as Liberty, Excitement,
Enjoyment : delightful sounds truly ; but no more than
sounds for me ; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere
waste of time to listen to them. But Servitude! That
must be matter of fact. Any one may serve: J have
100 JANE EYBE
served here eight years; now all I want is to serve else-
where. Can I not get so much of my own will ? Is not
the thing feasible ? Yes — yes — the end is not so difficult ;
if I had only a brain active enough to ferret out the means
of attaining it.'
I sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain : it
was a chilly night ; I covered my shoulders with a shawl,
and then I proceeded to think again with all my might.
1 What do I want ? A new place, in a new house,
amongst new faces, under new circumstances : I want this
because it is of no use wanting anything better. How do
people do to get a new place ? They apply to friends, I
suppose : I have no friends. There are many others who
have no friends, who must look about for themselves and be
their own helpers ; and what is their resource ? '
I could not tell : nothing answered me ; I then ordered
my brain to find a response, an.d quickly. It worked and
worked faster : I felt the pulses throb in my head and
temples ; but for nearly an hour it worked in chaos, and no
result came of its efforts. Feverish with vain labour, I
got up arid took a turn in the room ; undrew the curtain,
noted a star or two, shivered with cold, and again crept
to bed.
A kind fairy, in my absence, had surely dropped the
required suggestion on my pillow ; for as I lay down it came
quietly and naturally to my mind : — ' Those who want
situations advertise ; you must advertise in the shire
Herald:
1 How ? I know nothing about advertising.'
Keplies rose smooth and prompt now: — 'You must
inclose the advertisement and the money to pay for it under
a cover directed to the Editor of the Herald ; you must put
it, the first opportunity you have, into the post at Lowton ;
answers must be addressed to J. E. at the post-office there :
you can go and inquire in about a week after you send your
letter, if any are come, and act accordingly/
This scheme I went over twice, thrice ; it was then
JANE EYEE 101
digested in my mind : I had it in a clear practical form ; I
felt satisfied, and fell asleep.
With earliest day I was up : I had my advertisement
written, inclosed, and directed before the bell rang to rouse
the school : it ran thus : —
1 A young lady accustomed to tuition ' (had I not been a
teacher two years ?) ' is desirous of meeting with a situation
in a private family where the children are under fourteen '
(I thought that as I was barely eighteen, it would not do to
undertake the guidance of pupils nearer my own age). ' She
is qualified to teach the usual branches of a good English
education, together with French, Drawing, and Music ' (in
those days, reader, this now narrow catalogue of accomplish-
ments would have been held tolerably comprehensive).
' Address, J. E., Post-office, Lowton, shire/
This document remained locked in my drawer all day :
after tea, I asked leave of the new superintendent to go
to Lowton, in order to perform some small commissions for
myself and one or two of my fellow-teachers ; permission
was readily granted : I went. It was a walk of two miles,
and the evening was wet, but the days were still long; I
visited a shop or two, slipped the letter into the post-office,
and came back through heavy rain, with streaming garments,
but with a relieved heart.
The succeeding week seemed long : it came to an end
at last, however, like all sublunary things, and once more,
towards the close of a pleasant autumn day, I found myself
afoot on the road to Lowton. A picturesque track it was, by
the way, lying along the side of the beck and through the
sweetest curves of the dale : but that day I thought more
of the letters, that might or might not be awaiting me at the
little burgh whither I was bound, than of the charms of lea
and water.
My ostensible errand on this occasion was to get measured
for a pair of shoes ; so I discharged that business first, and
when it was done, I stepped across the clean and quiet little
street from the shoemaker's to the post-office ; it was kept
102 JANE EYEB
by an old dame, who wore horn spectacles on her nose and
black mittens on her hands.
' Are there any letters for J. E. ? ' I asked.
She peered at me over her spectacles, and then she opened
a drawer, and fumbled among its contents for a long time —
so long that my hopes began to falter. At last, having held
a document before her glasses for nearly five minutes, she
presented it across the counter, accompanying the act by
another inquisitive and mistrustful glance — it was for J. E.
' Is there only one ? f I demanded.
1 There are no more,' said she ; and I put it in my pocket
and turned my face homeward : I could not open it then ;
rules obliged me to be back by eight, and it was already
half -past seven.
Various duties awaited me on my arrival : I had to sit
with the girls during their hour of study ; then it was my
turn to read prayers ; to see them to bed : afterwards I supped
with the other teachers. Even when we finally retired for
the night, the inevitable Miss Gryce was still my companion :
we had only a short end of candle in our candlestick, and I
dreaded lest she should talk till it was all burnt out :
fortunately, however, the heavy supper she had eaten
produced a soporific effect : she was already snoring before
I had finished undressing. There still remained an inch of
candle : I now took out my letter ; the seal was an initial F. ;
I broke it : the contents were brief.
1 If J. E., who advertised in the shire Herald of last
Thursday, possesses the acquirements mentioned, and if she
is in a position to give satisfactory references as to character
and competency ; a situation can be offered her where there
is but one pupil — a little girl, under ten years of age — and
where the salary is thirty pounds per annum. J. E. is
requested to send references, name, address, and all par-
citulars to the direction, " Mrs. Fairfax, Thornfield, near
Millcote, shire." '
I examined the document long : the writing was old-
fashioned and rather uncertain, like that of an elderly lady.
JANE EYEE 103
This circumstance was satisfactory: a private fear had
haunted me that, in thus acting for myself, and by my own
guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some scrape 1 and,
above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be
respectable, proper, en rtyle. I now felt that an elderly lady
was no bad ingredient in the business I had on hand. Mrs.
Fairfax ! I saw her in a black gown and widow's cap, —
frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil : a model of elderly English
respectability. Thornfield ! that, doubtless, was the name of
her house — a neat, orderly spot, I was sure, though I failed
in my effoits to conceive a correct plan of the premises.
Millcote, shire. I brushed up my recollections of the
map of England ; yes, I saw it, both the shire and the town.
shire was seventy miles nearer London than the remote
county where I now resided ; that was a recommendation to
me. I longed to go where there was life and movement.
Millcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the
A : a busy place, enough, doubtless : so much the better ;
it would be a complete changtj at least. Not that my fancy
was much captivated by the idea of long chimneys and
clouds of smoke — ' but/ I argued, 'Thornfield will, probably,
be a good way from the town/
Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went
out.
Next day new steps were to be taken ; my plans could
no longer be confined to my own breast ; I must impart them
in order to achieve their success. Having sought and
obtained an audience of the supeiintendent during the noon-
tide recreation, I told her I had a prospect of getting a new
situation where the salary would be double what I now
received (for at Lowood I only got fifteen pounds per
annum), and requested she would break the matter for me to
Mr. Brocklehurst, or some of the committee, and ascertain
whether they would permit me to mention them as references.
She obligingly consented to act as mediatrix in the matter.
The next day she laid the affair before Mr. Brocklehurst,
who said that Mrs. Eeed must be written to, as bhe was my
104 JANE EYEE
natural guardian. A note was accordingly addressed to that
lady, who returned for answer, that ' I might do as I pleased •
she had long relinquished all interference in my affairs.'
This note went the round of the committee, and, at last, after
what appeared to me most tedious delay, formal leave was
given me to better my condition if I could ; and an assurance
added that, as I had always conducted myself well, both as
teacher and pupil, at Lowood, a testimonial of character and
capacity, signed by the inspectors of that institution, should
forthwith be furnished me.
This testimonial I accordingly received in about a month,
forwarded a copy of it to Mrs. Fairfax, and got that lady's
reply, stating that she was satisfied, and fixing that day
fortnight as the period for my assuming the post of governess
in her house.
I now busied myself in preparations : the fortnight passed
rapidly. I had not a very large wardrobe, though it was
adequate to my wants ; and the last day sufficed to pack
my trunk, — the same I had brought with me eight years ago
from Gateshead.
The box was corded, the card nailed on. In half an hour
the carrier was to call for it to take it to Lowton, whither I
myself was to repair at an early hour the next morning to
meet the coach. I had brushed my black stuff travelling
dress, prepared my bonnet, gloves, and muff ; sought in all
my drawers to see that no article was left behind ; and now,
having nothing more to do, I sat down and tried to rest. I
could not, though I had been on foot all day — I could not
now repose an instant — I was too much excited. A phase of
my life was closing to-night, a new one opening to-morrow :
impossible to slumber in the interval; I must watch
feverishly while the change was being accomplished.
' Miss,1 said a servant who met me in the lobby, where I
wa's wandering like a troubled spirit, ' a person below wishes
to see you/
1 The carrier, no doubt/ I thought, and ran downstairs
without inquiry. I was passing the back parlour, or teachers'
JANE EYRE 105
sitting-room, the door of which was half-open, to go to the
kitchen, when someone ran out.
1 It's her, I am sure ! — I could have told her anywhere ! '
cried the individual who stopped my progress and took my
hand.
I looked. I saw a woman attired like a well-dressed
servant, matronly, yet still young ; very good-looking, with
black hair and eyes, and lively complexion.
' Well, who is it ? ' she asked, in a voice and with a smile
I half recognised ! * You've not quite forgotten me, I think,
Miss Jane ? '
In another second I was embracing and kissing her
rapturously. ' Bessie ! Bessie ! Bessie ! ' that was all I
said; whereat she half laughed, half cried, and we both
went into the parlour. By the fire stood a little fellow of
three years old, in plaid frock and trousers.
* That is my little boy,' said Bessie, directly.
'Then you are married, Bessie?'
1 Yes : nearly five years since, to Eobert Leaven, the
coachman, and I've a little girl besides Bobby there that I've
christened Jane.'
' And you don't live at Gateshead ? '
' I live at the lodge : the old porter has left.'
1 Well, and how do they all get on ? Tell me everything
about them, Bessie : but sit down first ; and, Bobby, come
and sit on my knee, will you?' But Bobby preferred sidling
over to his mother.
' You're not grown so very tall, Miss Jane, nor so very
stout/ continued Mrs. Leaven. ' I dare say they've not kept
you too well at school : Miss Eeed is the head and shoulders
taller than you are ; and Miss Georgiana would make two of
you in breadth.'
' Georgiana is handsome, I suppose, Bessie ? '
'Very. She went up to London last winter with her
mamma, and there everybody admired her, and a young lord
fell in love with her: but his relations were against the
match ; and — what do you think ? — he and Miss Georgiana
106 JANE EYEB
made it up to run away: but they were found out and
stopped. It was Miss Eeed that found them out : I believe
she was envious ; and now she and her sister lead a cat and
dog life together ; they are always quarrelling.'
1 Well, and what of John Reed? '
4 Oh, he is not doing so well as his mamma could wish.
He went to college, and he got — plucked, I think they call
it: and then his uncles wanted him to be a barrister, and
study the law : but he is such a dissipated young man, they
will never make much of him, I think.'
1 What does he look like ? '
1 He is very tall : some people call him a fine-looking
young man ; but he has such thick lips/
'And Mrs. Eeed?'
1 Missis looks stout and well enough in the face, but I
think she's not quite easy in her mind : Mr. John's conduct
does not please her— ;he spends a deal of money.'
' Did she send you here, Bessie ? '
1 No, indeed : but I have long wanted to see you, and
when I heard that there had bean a letter from you, and that
you were going to another part of the country, I thought I'd
just set off, and get a look at you before you were quite out
of my reach.'
'I am afraid you are disappointed in me, Bessie.' I
said this laughing : I perceived that Bessie's glance, though
it expressed legard, did in no shape denote admiration.
' No, Miss Jane, not exactly : you are genteel enough f,
you look like a lady, and it is as much as ever I expected of
you : you were no beauty as a child.'
I smiled at Bessie's frank answer: I felt that it was
correct, but I confess I was not quite indifferent to its import :
at eighteen most people wish to please, and the conviction
that they have not an exterior likely to second that desire
brings anything but gratification.
I 1 dare say you are clever, though,' continued Bessie, by
way of solace. ' What can you do ? Can you play on the
piano ? '
JANE EYRE 107
1 A little.'
There was one in the room ; Bessie went and opened it,
and then asked me to sit down and give her a tune : I
played a waltz or two, and she was charmed.
' The Miss Reeds could not play as well ! ' said she exult
ingly. ' I always said you would surpass them in learning .
and can you draw ? '
'That is one of my paintings over the chimney-piece.'
It was a landscape in water colours, of which I had made ^
present to the superintendent, in acknowledgment of her
obliging mediation with the committee on my behalf, and
which she had framed and glazed.
' Well, that is beautiful, Miss Jane ! It is as fine a
picture as any Miss Reed's drawing-master could paint, let
alone the young ladies themselves, who could not come near
it : and have you learnt French ? '
' Yes, Bessie, I can both read it and speak it/
' And you can work on muslin and canvas ? '
'lean/
1 Oh, you are quite a lady, Miss Jane ! I knew you
would be : you will get on whether your relations notice you
or not. There was something I wanted to ask you. Ilavo
you ever heard anything from your father's kinsfolk, th*
.dyres ? '
4 Never in my life/
1 Well, you know Missis always said they were poor and
quite despicable : and they may be poor ; but I believe they
are as much gentry as the Reeds are ; for one day, nearly
seven years ago, a Mr. Eyre came to Gateshead and wanted
to see you. Missis said you were at school fifty miles off. He
seemed so much disappointed, for he could not stay : he
was going on a voyage to a foreign country, and the ship
was to sail from London in a day or two. He looked quite
a gentleman, and I believe he was your father's brother.'
1 What foreign country was he going to, Bessie ? '
' An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine
— the butler did tell me '
108 JANE EYBE
1 Madeira ? ' I suggested.
1 Yes, that is it — that is the very word.'
'So he went?1
'Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house:
Missis was very high with him ; she called him afterwards
a " sneaking tradesman." My Eobert believes he was a wine-
merchant.1
' Very likely/ J returned ; ' or perhaps clerk or agent to
^ wine-merchant.'
Bessie and 1 conveised about old times an hour longer,
and then she was obliged to leave me. I saw her again for
a few minutes the next morning at Lowton, while I was
waiting for the coach. We parted finally at the door of the
' Brocklehurst Arms ' there. Each went our separate way :
she set off for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the convey-
ance which was to take her back to Gateshead ; I mounted
the vehicle which was to bear me to new duties and a new
life in the unknown environs of Millcote.
JANE EYBE
CHAPTEE XI
A NEW chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in
a play : and when I draw up the curtain this time, reader,
you must fancy you see a room in the 'George Inn' at
Millcote, with such large figured papeiing on the walls as
inn rooms have ; sucli a carpet, such furniture, such orna-
ments on the mantelpiece, such prints ; including a portrait
of George the Third, and another of the Prince of Wales,
and a representation of the death of Wolfe. All this is
visible to you by the light of an oil lamp hanging from the
ceiling, and by that of an exollent tire, near which I sit
in my cloak and bonnet ; my muff and umbrella Ho on the
table, and I am warming away the numbness and chill con-
tracted by sixteen hours' exposuic to the rawness of an
October day : I left Lowton at four o'clock A.M., and the
Millcote town clock is now just sti iking eight.
Header, though I look comfoitably accommodated, I am
not very tranquil in my mind. I thought when the coach
stopped heie there would be someone to meet me ; I looked
anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the ' boots '
placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my, name pro-
nounced, and to see some description of carriage waiting to
convey me to Thornfield. Nothing of the sort was visible ;
and when I asked a waiter if any one had been to inquire
after a Miss Eyre, I was answered in the negative : so I had
no resource but to request to be shown into a private room :
and here I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears
are troubling my thoughts.
Tt is a very strange sensation to inexperience d youth to
feel itself quite alone in the world, cut adrift from every
110 JANE EYEB
connection, uncertain whether the port to which it is bound
can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from
returning to that it has quitted. The charm of adventure
sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it ; but
then the throb of fear disturbs it ; and fear with me became
predominant, when half an hour elapsed and still I was
alone. I bethought myself to ring the bell.
'Is there a place in this neighbourhood called Thorn-
field ? ' I asked of the waiter who answered the summons.
' Thornfield ? I don't know, ma'am ; I'll inquire at the
bar.1 He vanished, but reappeared instantly : — ' Is your
name Eyi e, Miss ? '
'Yes.*
' Perbon hero waiting for you.'
I jumped up, took my muff and umbrella, and hastened
into the inn-passage : a man was standing by the open
door, and in the lamp-lit street I dimly saw a one-horse
conveyance.
'This will be your luggage, I suppose?1 said the man
rather abruptly when he saw me, pointing to my trunk in the
passage.
' Yes.' He hoisted it on to the vehicle, which was a sort
of car, and then I got in : before he shut me up I asked him
how far it was to Thornfield.
' A matter of six miles.'
' How long shall we be before we get there ? '
' Happen an hour and a half.'
He fastened the car door, climbed to his own seat out-
side, and we set off. Our progress was leisurely, and gave me
ample time to reflect ; I was content to be at length so near
the end of my journey ; and as I leaned back in the com-
fortable though not elegant conveyance, I meditated much
at my ease.
I 1 suppose,1 thought I, ' judging from the plainness of the
servant and carriage, Mrs. Fairfax is not a very dashing
person: so much the better; I never lived amongst fine
people but once, and I was very miserable with them. I
JANE EYRE 111
wonder if she lives alone except this little girl ; if so, and if
she is in any degree amiable, I shall surely be able to get on
with her ! I will do my best : it is a pity that doing one's
best does not always answer. At Lowood, indeed, I took
that resolution, kept it, and succeeded in pleasing ; but with
Mrs. Heed, I remember, my bast was always spurned with
scorn. I pray God Mrs. Fairfax may not turn out a second
Mrs. Reed ; but if she does, I am not bound to stay with
her : let the worst come to the worst, I can advertise again.
How far are we on our road now, I wonder ? '
I let down the window and looked out: Millcote was
behind us ; judging by the number of its lights, it seemed
a place of considerable magnitude, much larger than Lowton.
We were now. as far as I could see, on a sort of common ;
but there were houses scattered all over the district ; I felt
we were in a different region to Lowood, more populous, less
picturesque ; more stirring, less romantic.
The roads were heavy, the night misty ; my conductor
let his horse walk all the way, and the hour and a half ex-
tended, I verily believe, to two hours ; at last he turned
in his seat and said: 'You're noan so far fro* Thornfield
now.'
Again I looked out : we were passing a church : I saw
its low broad tower against the sky, and its bell was tolling
a quarter ; I saw a narrow galaxy of lights too, on a hill-
side, marking a village or hamlet. About ten minutes after
the driver got down and opened a pair of gates ; we passed
through, and they clashed to behind us. We now slowly
ascended a drive, and came upon the long front of a house :
candle-light gleamed from one curtained bow-window ; all
the rest were dark. The car stopped at the front door ; it
was opened by a maidservant ; I alighted and went in.
1 Will you walk this way, ma'am,' said the girl ; and I
followed her across a square hall with high doors all round :
she ushered me into a room whose double illumination of
fire and candle at first dazzled me, contrasting as it did with
the darkness to which my eyes had been for two hours
112 JANE EYEE
inured ; when I could see, however, a cozy and agreeable
picture presented itselt to my view.
A snug, small room ; a round table by a cheerful fire ;
an armchair high-backed and old-fashioned, wherein sat the
neatest imaginable little elderly lady, in widow's cap, black
silk gown, and snowy muslin apron : exactly like what I had
fancied Mrs. Fairfax, only less stately and milder-looking.
She was occupied in knitting ; a large cat sat demurely at
her feet ; nothing in short was wanting to complete the
beau ideal of domestic comfort. A more reassuring intro-
duction for a new governess could scarcely be conceived :
there was no grandeur to overwhelm, no stateliness to
embarrass ; and then, as I entered, the old lady got up, and
promptly and kindly came forward to meet me.
1 How do you do, my dear ? I am afraid you have had
a tedious ride ; John drives so slowly : you must be cold ;
come to the fire.1
'Mrs. Fairfax, I suppose? f said I.
1 Yes, you are right : do sit down.'
She conducted me to her own chair, and then began to
remove my shawl and untie my bonnet-strings. I begged
she would not give herself so much trouble.
* Oh, it is no trouble ; I dare say your own hands are
almost numbed with cold. Leah, make a little hot negus
and cut a sandwich or two : here are the keys of the store-
room.'
And she produced from her pocket a most housewifely
bunch of keys, and delivered them to the servant.
'Now, then, draw nearer to the fire/ she conitnued.
' You've brought your luggrige with you, haven't you, my dear? '
' Yes, ma'am.'
1 I'll see it earned into your room,' she said, and bustled
out.
'She treats me like a visitor,' thought I. 'I little
expected such a reception ; I anticipated only coldness and
stiffness : this is not like what I have heard of the treat-
ment of governesses ; but I must not exult too soon.'
JANE EYEE 113
She returned, with her own hands cleared her knitting
apparatus and a book or two from the table, to make room
for the tray which Leah now brought, and then herself
handed me the refreshments. I felt rather confused at
being the object of more attention than I had ever before
received, and that, too, shown by my employer and superior ;
but as she did not herself seem to consider she was doing
anything out of her place, I thought it better to take her
civilities quietly.
' Shall I have the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairfax to-
night ? ' I asked, when I had partaken of what she offered
me.
'What did you say, my dear? I am a little deaf,'
returned the good lady, approaching her ear to my mouth.
I repeated the question more distinctly.
1 Miss Fairfax ? Oh, you mean Miss Varens ! Varens is
the name of your future pupil.'
1 Indeed ! Then she is not your daughter ? '
' No, — I have no family/
I should have followed up my first inquiry by asking
in what way Miss Varens was connected with her; but I
recollected it was not polite to ask too many questions :
besides, I was sure to hear in time.
' I am so glad/ she continued, as she sat down opposite to
me, and took the cat on her knee ; ' I am so glad you are come ;
it will be quite pleasant living here now with a companion.
To be sure it is pleasant at any time ; for Thornfield is a
fine old hall, rather neglected of late years perhaps, but still
it is a respectable place ; yet you know in winter time one
feels dreary quite alone, in the best quarters. I say alone —
Leah is a nice girl to be sure, and John and his wife are very
decent people ; but then you see they are only servants, and
one can't converse with them on terms of equality : one must
keep them at due distance, for fear of losing one's authority.
I'm sure last winter (it was a very severe one, if you recollect,
and when it did not snow, it rained and blew) not a crea-
ture but the butcher and postman came to the house from
114 JANE BYBE
November till February ; and I really got quite melancholy
with sitting night after night alone. I had Leah in to read to
me sometimes ; but I don't think the poor girl liked the
task much: she felt it confining. In spring and summer
one got on better : sunshine and long days make such a
difference; and then, just at the commencement of this
autumn, little Adela Varens came and her nurse: a child
makes a house alive all at once ; and now you are here
I shall be quite gay/
My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I heard
her talk : and I drew my chair a little nearer to her, and
expressed my sincere wish that she might find my company
as agreeable as she anticipated.
'But I'll not keep you sitting up late to-night/ said
she ; ' it is on the stroke of twelve now, and you have been
travelling all day : you must feel tired. If you have got your
feet well warmed I'll show you your bedroom. I've had
the room next to mine prepared for you ; it is only a small
apartment, but I thought you would like it better than one
of the large front chambers : to be sure they have finer fur-
niture, but they are so dreary and solitary, I never sleep in
them myself.1
I thanked her for her considerate choice, and as I really
felt fatigued with my long journey, expressed my readiness
to retire. She took her candle, and I followed her from the
room. First she went to see if the hall-door was fastened ;
having taken the key from the lock, she led the way upstairs.
The steps and banisters were of oak; the staircase window
was high and latticed ; both it and the long gallery into
which the bedroom doors opened looked as if they belonged
to a church rather than a house. A very chill and vaultlike
air pervaded the stairs and gallery, suggesting cheerless
ideas of space and solitude ; and I was glad when finally
ushered into my chamber to find it of small dimensions,
and furnished in ordinary modern style.
When Mrs. Fairfax had bidden me a kind good-night, and
I had fastened my door, gazed leisurely round, and in some
JANE EYKE 115
measure effaced the eerie impression made by that wide hall,
that dark and spacious staircase, and that long, cold gallery,
by the livelier aspect of my little room, I remembered that
after a day of bodily fatigue and mental anxiety I was now
at last in safe haven. The impulse of gratitude swelled my
heart, and I knelt down at the bedside, and offered up thanks
where thanks were due ; not forgetting, ere I rose, to implore
aid on my further path, and the power of meriting the kind-
ness which seemed so frankly offered me before it was
earned. My couch had no thorns in it that night ; my solitary
room no fears. At once weary and content, I slept soon
and soundly : when I awoke it was broad day.
The chamber looked such a bright little place to me as
the sun shone in between the gay blue chintz window curtains,
showing papered walls and a carpeted floor, so unlike the
bare planks and stained plaster of Lowood that my spirits
rose at the view. Externals have a great effect on the
young : I thought that a fairer era of life was beginning for
me, one that was to have its flowers and pleasures, as well
as its thorns and toils. My faculties, roused by the change
of scene, the new field offered to hope, seemed all astir.
I cannot precisely define what they expected, but it was
something pleasant : not perhaps that day or that month,
but at an indefinite future period.
I rose ; I dressed myself with care : obliged to be plain
—for I had no article of attire that was not made with
extreme simplicity— I was still by nature solicitous to be
neat. It was not my habit to be disregardful of appearance,
or careless of the impression I made: on the contrary, I
ever wished to look as well as I could, and to please as
much as my want of beauty would permit. I sometimes
regretted that I was not handsomer : I sometimes wished
to have rosy cheeks, a straight nose, and small cherry
mouth ; I desired to be tall, stately, and finely developed in
figure ; I felt it a misfortune that I was so little, so pale,
and had features so irregular and so marked. And why
had I these aspirations and these regrets? It would be
116 JANE BYBB
difficult to Bay : I could not then distinctly say it to myself ; yet
I had a reason, and a logical, natural reason too. However,
when I had brushed my hair very smooth, and put on my black
frock — which, Quaker-like as it was, at least had the merit
of fitting to a nicety — and adjusted my clean white tucker,
I thought I should do respectably enough to appear before
Mrs. Fairfax ; and that my new pupil would not at least
recoil from me with antipathy. Having opened my chamber
window, and seen that I left all things straight and neat on
the toilet table, I ventured forth.
Traversing the long and matted gallery, I descended the
slippery steps of oak ; then I gained the hall : I halted there
a minute : I looked at some pictures on the walls (one I
remember represented a grim man in a cuirass, and one
a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace), at a bronze
lamp pendent from the ceiling, at a great clock whose case
was of oak curiously carved, and ebon black with time and
nibbing. Everything appeared very stately and imposing
to me : but then I was so little accustomed to grandeur. The
hall-door, which was half of glass, stood open ; I stepped
over the threshold. It was a fine autumn morning; the
early sun shone serenely on embrowned groves and still
green fields : advancing on to the lawn, I looked up and
surveyed the front of the mansion. It was three stories
high, of proportions not vast, though considerable : a
gentleman's manor-house, not a nobleman's seat : battle-
ments round the top gave it a picturesque look. Its grey
front stood out well from the background of a rookery,
whose cawing tenants were now on the wing : they flew over
the lawn and grounds to alight in a great meadow, from which
these were separated by a sunk fence, and where an array of
mighty old thorn trees, strong, knotty, and broad as oaks, at
once explained the etymology of the mansion's designation.
Farther off were hills : not so lofty as those round Lowood,
nor so craggy, nor so like barriers of separation from the
living world ; but yet quiet and lonely hills enough, and seem-
ing to embrace Thornfield with a seclusion I had not expected
JANE EYRE 117
to find existent so near the stirring locality of Millcote. A
little hamlet whose roofs were blent with trees straggled up
the side of one of these hills ; the church of the distnct stood
nearer Thornfield: its old tower-top looked over a knoll
between the house and gates.
I was yet enjoying the calm prospect and pleasant fresh
air, yet listening with delight to the cawing of the rooks, yet
surveying the wide, hoary fiont of the hall, and thinking
what a gieat place it was for one lonely little dame like
Mrs. Fairfax to inhabit, when that lady appeared at the
door.
1 What ! out already ? ' said she. ' T see you are an early
riser/ I went up to her, and was received with an affable
kiss and snake of the hand.
' How do you like Thornfield ? ' she asked. I told her I
liked it very much.
' Yes/ she said, ' it is a pretty place : but I fear it will be
getting out of order, unless Mr. Rochester should take it into
his head to come and reside here permanently ; or, at least,
visit it rather oftener : great houses and fine grounds require
the presence of the proprietor/
1 Mr. Rochester ! ' I exclaimed. ' Who is he ? '
I The owner of Thornfield/ she responded quietly. * Did
you not know ho was called Rochester ? '
Of course I did not — I had never heard of him before ;
but the old lady seemed to regard his existence as a
universally understood fact, with which everybody must be
acquainted by instinct.
I 1 thought,1 1 continued, ' Thornfield belonged to you/
' To me ? Bless you, child ; what an idea ! To me ? I
am only the housekeeper — the manager. To be sure I am
distantly related to the Rochesters by the mother's side ; or,
at least, my husband was : he was a clergyman, incumbent
of Hay — that little village yonder on the hill— and that
church near the gates was his. The present Mr. Rochester's
mother was a Fairfax, and second cousin to my husband ;
but I never presume on the connection — in fact it is nothing
118 JANE EYEE
to me ; I consider myself quite in the light of an ordinary
housekeeper: my employer is always civil, and I expect
nothing more/
1 And the little girl— my pupil ? '
' She is Mr. ^Rochester's ward ; he commissioned me to find
a governess for her. He intends to have her brought up in
shire, I believe. Here she comes with her " bonne," as
she calls her nurse. The enigma then was explained : this
affable and kind little widow was no great dame, but a
dependent like myself. I did not like her the worse for
that ; on the contrary, I felt better pleased than ever. The
equality between her and me was real ; not the mere result
of condescension on her part: so much the better — my
position was all the freer.
As I was meditating on this discovery, a little girl,
followed by her attendant, came running up the lawn. I
looked at my pupil, who did not at first appear to notice me :
she was quite a child, perhaps seven or eight years old,
slightly built, with a pale, small-featured face, and a re-
dundancy of hair falling in curls to her waist.
1 Good-morning, Miss Adela,' said Mrs. Fairfax. ' Come
and speak to the lady who is to teach you, and to make you
a clever woman some day/ She approached.
1 C'est la ma gouvernante ? ' said she, pointing to me, and
addressing her nurse ; who answered : ' Mais oui, certaine-
ment/
'Are they foreigners?' I inquired, amazed at hearing
the French language.
* The nurse is a foreigner, and Adela was born on the
Continent, and, I believe, never left it till within six months
ago. When she first came here she could speak no English ;
now she can make shift to talk it a little : I don't under-
stand her, she mixes it so with French ; but you will make
out her meaning very well, I daresay/
Fortunately I had had the advantage of being taught
French by a French lady; and as. I had always made a
point of conversing with Madame Pierrot as often as 1
JANE EYEE 119
could, and had, besides, during the last seven years, learnt
a portion of French by heart daily — applying myself to take
pains with my accent, and imitating as closely as possible the
pronunciation of my teacher — I had acquired a certain degree
of readiness and correctness in the language, and was not
likely to be much at a loss with Mademoiselle Adela. She
came and shook hands with me when she heard that I was
her governess ; and as I led her into breakfast I addressed
some phrases to her in her own tongue : she replied briefly
at first, but after we were seated at the table, and she had
examined me some ten minutes with her large hazel eyes,
she suddenly commenced chattering fluently.
1 Ah ! ' cried she, in French, * you speak my language as
well as Mr. Eochester does : I can talk to you as I can to
him, and so can Sophie. She will be glad : nobody here
understands her : Madame Fairfax is all English. Sophie is
my nurse ; she came with me over the sea in a great ship
with a chimney that smoked — how it did smoke! — and I
was sick, and so was Sophie, and so was Mr. Rochester.
Mr. Eochester lay down on a sofa in a pretty room called
the salon, and Sophie and I had little beds in another place.
I nearly fell out of mine ; it was like a shelf. And Made-
moiselle what is your name ? '
' Eyre — Jane Eyre.1
' Aire ? Bah ! I cannot say it. Well : our ship stopped
in the morning, before it was quite daylight, at a great city
— a huge city, with very dark houses and all smoky ; not at
all like the pretty clean town I came from ; and Mr. Eochester
carried me in his arms over a plank to the land, and Sophie
came after, and we all got into a coach, which took us to a
beautiful large house, larger than this and finer, called an
hotel. We stayed there nearly a week. I and Sophie used
to walk every day in a great green place full of trees, called
the Park ; and there were many children there besides me, and
a pond with beautiful birds in it, that I fed with crumbs.'
* Can you understand her when she runs on so fast ? '
asked Mrs. Fairfax.
F
120 JANE EYES
I understood her very well, for I had been accustomed to
the fluent tongue of Madame Pierrot.
' I wish/ continued the good lady, ' you would ask her
a question or two about her parents : I wonder if she
remembers them ? '
1 Ad61e,' I inquired, ' with whom did you live when you
were in that pretty clean town you spoke of ? '
' I lived long ago with mamma ; <but she is gone to the
Holy Virgin. Mamma used to teach me to dance and sing,
and to say verses. A great many gentlemen and ladies
came to see mamma, and I used to dance before them, or to
sit on their knees and sing to them : I liked it. Shall I let
you hear me sing now ? '
She had finished her breakfast, so I permitted her to give
a specimen of her accomplishments. Descending from her
chair, she came and placed herself on my knee ; then, folding
her little hands demurely before her, shaking back her curls
and lifting her eyes to the ceiling, she commenced singing a
song from some opera. It was the strain of a forsaken lady,
who, after bewailing the perfidy of her lover, calls pride to
her aid ; desires her attendant to deck her in her brightest
jewels and richest robes, and resolves to meet the false one
that night at a ball, and prove to him, by the gaiety of her
demeanour, how little his desertion has affected her.
The subject seemed strangely chosen for an infant singer ;
but I suppose the point of the exhibition lay hi hearing the
notes of love and jealousy warbled with the lisp of child-
hood ; and in very bad taste that point was : at least I
thought so.
Ad&le sang the canzonette tunefully enough, and with
the naivet6 of her age. This achieved, she jumped from
my knee and said, ' Now, Mademoiselle, I will repeat you
some poetry.1
Assuming an attitude, she began ' La Ligue des Eats :
fable de la Fontaine/ She then declaimed the little piece
with an attention to punctuation and emphasis, a flexibility
of voice and an appropriateness of gesture, very unusual
JANE EYEE 121
indeed at her age, and which proved she had been carefully
trained.
1 Was it your mamma who taught you that piece ? ' I
' Yes ; and she just used to say it in this way : " Qu'avez
vous done? lui dit un de ces rats ; parlez 1 " She mado me
lift my hand— so — to remind me to raise my voice at the
question. ' Now shall I dance for you ? '
' No, that will do : but after your mamma went to the
Holy Virgin, as you say, with whom did you live then? '
'With Madame Fr6d6ric and her husband: she took
care of me, but she is nothing related to me. I think she is
poor, for she had not so fine a house as mamma. I was not
long there. Mr. Bochoster asked me if T would like to go
and live with him in England, and I said yes ; for I knew
Mr. Kochester before I knew Madame Fr6d6ric, and he was
always kind to me and gave me pretty dresses and toys.
But you see he has not kept his word, for he has brought me
to England, and now he is gone back again himself, and I
never see him.'
After breakfast Adele and I withdrew to the library ;
which room, it appears, Mr. Bochester had directed should
be used as the schoolroom. Most of the books were locked
up behind glass doors ; but there was one bookcase left open,
containing everything that could be needed in the way of
elementary works, and several volumes of light literature,
poetry, biography, travels, a few romances, &c. I suppose
he had considered that these were all the governess would
require for her private perusal ; and, indeed, they contented
me amply for the present ; compared with the scanty pick-
ings I had now and then been able to glean at Lowood, they
seemed to offer an abundant harvest of entertainment and
information. In this room, too, there was a cabinet piano,
quite new and of superior tone ; also an easel for painting,
and a pair of globes.
I found my pupil sufficiently docile, though disinclined to
apply : she had not been used to regular occupation of any
122 JANE EYEE
kind. I felt it would be injudicious to confine her too much
at first ; so, when I had talked to her a great deal, and got
her to learn a little, and when the morning had advanced to
noon, I allowed her to return to her nurse. I then proposed
to occupy myself till dinner-time in drawing some little
sketches for her use.
As I was going upstairs to fetch my portfolio and pencils,
Mrs. Fairfax called to me : ' Your morning school-hours are
over now, I suppose/ said she. She was in a room the
folding-doors of which stood open : I went in when she
addressed me. It was a large, stately apartment, with purple
chairs and curtains, a Turkey carpet, walnut-panelled walls,
one vast window rich in stained glass, and a lofty ceiling,
nobly moulded. Mrs. Fairfax was dusting some vases of
fine purple spar, which stood on a sideboard.
1 What a beautiful room ! ' I exclaimed, as I looked round ;
for I had never before seen any half so imposing.
1 Yes ; this is the dining-room. I have just opened the
window, to let in a little air and sunshine ; for everything
gets so damp in apartments that are seldom inhabited : the
drawing-room yonder feels like a vault.'
She pointed to a wide arch corresponding to the window,
and hung like it with a Tyrian-dyed curtain, now looped up.
Mounting to it by two broad steps and looking through, I
thought I caught a glimpse of a fairy pkce, so bright to my
novice eyes appeared the view beyond. Yet it was merely a
very pretty drawing-room, and within it a boudoir, both
spread with white carpets, on which seemed laid brilliant
garlands of flowers ; both ceiled with snowy mouldings of
white grapes and vine-leaves, beneath which glowed in rich
contrast crimson couches and ottomans; while the orna-
ments on the pale Parian mantelpiece were of sparkling
Bohemian glass, ruby red ; and between the windows large
mirrors repeated the general blending of snow and fire.
' In what order you keep these rooms, Mrs. Faixfax ! '
said I. ' No dust, no canvas coverings : except that the air
feels chilly, one would think they were inhabited daily.'
JANE EYRE 123
1 Why, Miss Eyre, though Mr. Rochester's visits here are
rare, they are always sudden and unexpected ; and as I
observed that it put him out to find everything swathed up,
and to have a bustle of arrangement on his arrival, I thought
it best to keep the rooms in readiness.'
1 Is Mr. Rochester an exacting, fastidious sort of man ? '
1 Not particularly so ; but he has a gentleman's tastes
and habits, and he expects to have things managed in con-
formity to them.'
' Do you like him ? Is he generally liked ? '
I Oh, yes ; the family have always been respected here.
Almost all the land in this neighbourhood, us far as you
can see, has belonged to the Rochesters time out of mind.'
' Well, but, leaving his land out of the question, do you
like him ? Is he liked for himself ? '
I 1 have no cause to do otherwise than like him ; and
I believe he • is considered a just and liberal landlord
by his tenants: but he has never lived much amongst
them.'
' But has he no peculiarities ? What, in short, is his
character ? '
' Oh ! his character is unimpeachable, I suppose. He, is
rather peculiar, perhaps : he has travelled a great deal, and
seen a great deal of the world. 1 should think. I daresay
he is clever : but I never had much conversation with him.'
' In what way is he peculiar ? '
1 1 don't know — it is not easy to describe— nothing
striking, but you feel it when he speaks to you : you cannot
be always sure whether he is in jest or earnest, whether he
is pleased or the contrary ; you don't thoroughly understand
him, in short— at least, I don't : but it is of no consequence,
he is a very good master.'
This was all the account I got from Mrs. Fairfax of her
employer and mine. There are people who seem to have no
notion of sketching a character, or observing and describing
salient points, either in persons or things : the good lady
evidently belonged to this class; my queries puzzled, but
124 JANE EYEE
did not draw her oufc. Mr. Eochester was Mr. Eochester
in her eyes ; a gentleman, a landed proprietor — nothing
more : she inquired and searched no further, and evidently
wondered at my wish to gain a more definite notion of his
identity.
When we left the dining-room, she proposed to show me
over the rest of the house ; and I followed her upstairs and
downstairs, admiring as I went ; for all was well arranged
and handsome. The large front chambers I thought espe-
cially grand; and some of the third-story rooms, though
dark and low, were interesting from their air of antiquity.
The furniture once appropriated to the lower apartments had
from time to time been removed here, as fashions changed ;
and the imperfect light entering by their narrow casements
showed bedsteads of a hundred years old ; chests in oak or
walnut, looking, with their strange carvings of palm branches
and cherubs' heads, like types of the Hebrew ark ; rows of
venerable chairs, high-backed and narrow ; stools still more
antiquated, on whose cushioned tops were yet apparent
traces of half-effaced embroideries, wrought by fingers that
for two generations had been coffin-dust. All these relics
gave to the third story of Thorntield Hall the aspect of a
home of the past : a shrine of memory. I liked the hush,
the gloom, the quaintness of these retreats in the day ; but I
by no means coveted a night's repose on one of those wide
and heavy beds : shut in, some of them, with doors of oak ;
shaded, others, with wrought old-English hangings crusted
with thick work, portraying effigies of strange flowers, and
stranger birds, and strangest human beings,— all which
would have looked strange, indeed, by the pallid gleam of
moonlight.
'Do the servants sleep in these rooms? ' I asked.
' No ; they occupy a range of smaller apartments to the
back ; no one ever sleeps here : one would almost say chat,
if there were a ghost at Thornfield Hall, this would be its
haunt/
* So I think : you have no ghost, then ? '
JANE EYRE 125
'None that I ever heard of,' returned Mrs. Fairfax,
smiling.
1 Nor any traditions of one ? no legends or ghost stories ? '
* I believe not. And yet it is said the Kochesters have
been rather a violent than a quiet race in their time : per-
haps, though, that is the reason they rest ti.mquilly in their
graves now/
'Yes — "after life's fitful fever thoy sleep well,1" I
muttered. ' Where are you going now, Airs. Fairfax ? ' for
she was moving away.
1 On to the leads ; will you come find see the \ iew from
thence ? ' I followed still, up a very narrow staircase to the
attics, and thence by si ladder and through a trap-door to the
roof of tho hall. I was now on a level with the crow colony,
and could sec into their nests. Leaning over the battle-
ments and looking far down, 1 surveyed the giounds hud
out like a map : the bright and velvet lawn closely girdling
the grey base of the mansion; the field, wide as a pink,
dotted with its ancient timber; the wood, dun and sere,
divided by a path visibly overgrown, greener with moss tban
the trees were with foli.age ; the church at the gates, the
load, the tranquil hills, all reposing in the autumn day's
sun : the horizon bounded by a propitious sky, azure, mar-
bled with pearly white. No feature in the scene was extra-
ordinary, but all was pleasing. When I turned fioin it and
repassed the trap-door, I could scarcely see my way down
the ladder : the attic seemed black as a vault compai ed
with that arch of blue air to which I had been looking up,
and to that sunlit scene of grove, pasture, and green hill of
which the hall was the centre, and over which I had been
gazing with delight.
Mrs. Fairfax stayed behind a moment to fasten the trap-
door ; I, by dint of groping, found the outlet from the attic,
and proceeded to descend the narrow garret staircase. I
lingered in the long passage to which this led, separating
the front and back rooms of the third btory : narrow, low,
and dim, with only one little window at the far end, and
JANE EYEE
looking, with its two rows of small black doors all shut, like
a corridor in some Bluebeard's castle.
While I paced softly on the last sound I expected to
hear in so still a region, a laugh, struck my ear. It was a
curious laugh ; distinct, formal, mirthless. I stopped : the
sound ceased, only for an instant ; it began again louder :
for at first, though distinct, it was very low. It passed off
in a clamorous peal that seemed to wake an echo in every
lonely chamber ; though it originated but in one, and I could
have pointed out the door whence the accents issued.
1 Mrs. Fairfax ! ' I called out : for I now heard her
descending the great stairs. ' Did you hear that loud laugh ?
Who is it?1
' Some of the servants, very likely/ she answered :
' perhaps Grace Poole.'
1 Did you hear it ? ' I again inquired.
' Yes, plainly : I often hear her ; she sews in one of these
rooms. Sometimes Leah is with her : they are frequently
noisy together.'
The laugh was repeated in its low, syllabic tone, and
terminated in an odd murmur.
' Grace ! ' exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax.
I really did not expect any Grace to answer; for the
laugh was as tragic, as preternatural a laugh as any I ever
heard ; and, but that it was high noon, and that no circum-
stance of ghostliness accompanied the curious cachinnation,
but that neither scene nor season favoured fear, I should
have been superstitiously afraid. However, the event
showed me I was a fool for entertaining a sense even of
surprise.
The door nearest me opened, and a servant came out, —
a woman of between thirty and forty ; a set, square-made
figure, red-haired, and with a hard, plain face : any apparition
less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely be conceived.
' Too much noise, Grace,' said Mrs. Fairfax. ' Eemember
directions ! ' Grace curtseyed silently and went in.
1 She is a person we have to sew and assist Leah in her
JANE EYEE 127
housemaid's work/ continued the widow ; ' not altogether
unobjectionable in some points, but she does well enough.
By-the-by, how have you got on with your now pupil this
morning ? '
The conversation, thus turned on Adele, continued till we
reached the light and cheerful region below. Adele came
running to meet us in the hall, exclaiming, — 'Mesdames,
vous 6tes servies ! ' adding, c J'ai bien faim, moi I '
We found dinner ready and waiting for us in Mrs.
Fairfax's room.
128 JANE EYEB
CHAPTBB XII
THE promise of a smooth career, which my first calm
introduction to Thornficld Hall seemed to pledge, was not
belied on a longer aquaintance with the place and its
inmates. Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she appeared,
a placid- tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent
education and average intelligence. My pupil was a lively
child, who had been spoilt and indulged, and therefore
was sometimes wayward; but as she was committed
entirely to my care, and no injudicious interference from
any quarter ever thwarted my plans for her improvement,
she soon forgot her little freaks, and became obedient
and teachable. She had no great talents, no maiked traits
of character, no peculiar development of feeling or taste
which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of child-
l}ood ; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk
her below it. She made reasonable progiess, entertained
for me a vivacious, though perhaps not very profound,
affection ; and by her simplicity, gay prattle, and efforts to
please, inspired me, in return, with a degree of attachment
sufficient to make us both content in each other's society.
This, par parcnth&se, will be thought cool language by
persons who entertain solemn doctrines about the angelic
nature of children, and the duty of those charged with their
education to conceive for them an idolatrous devotion : but
I am1 not writing to flatter parental egotism, to echo cant, or
prop up humbug ; I am merely telling the truth. I felt a
conscientious solicitude for Ad&le's welfare and progress,
and a quiet liking to her little self ; just as I cherished
towards Mrs. Fairfax a thankfulness for her kindness, and a
JANE EYEE 129
pleasure in her society proportionate to the tranquil regard
she had for me, and the moderation of her mind and
character.
Anybody may blame me who likes when I add further
that now and then, when I took a walk by myself in the
grounds, when I went down to the gates and looked
through them along the road, or when, while Adelo »played
with her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jollies in the store-
room, I climbed the three stan cases, raised the trap-door of
the attic, and having reached tbe leads, looked out afar
over sequestered field and hill, and along dim sky-lino —that
then I longed for a power of Msion which might overpass
that limit ; which might reach the busy world, towns,
regions full of life 1 hul heard of bub never seen : that then
I desired more of pi a^ticai experience than I possessed , more
of intercourse with my kind, of acquaintance \\ith vaiiety of
character, than was here within my reach. I valued what
was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Ailele ;
but I believed in the existence of other and moie vivid kinds
of goodness, and what 1 believed in 1 wished to behold.
Who blames me ? Many, no doubt ; and I sluill be
called disconton'ed. I could not help it: the restlessness
was in my nature ; it agitated me to pain sometimes. Then
my sole relief was to walk along the corridor of tbe third
story, backwards and forwards, safe in tbe silence and
solitude of the spot and allow my mind's eye to dwell on
whatever bright visions rose before it — and, certainly, they
were many arid glowing ; to let my heart be heaved by the
exultant movement, which, while it swelled it in trouble,
expanded it with life ; und, best of all, to open my inward
ear to a tale that was never ended — a tale my imagina-
tion created, and narrated continuously ; quickened with all
of incident, life, fire, feeling, that I desired and had not in
my actual existence.
It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied
with tranquillity : they must have action ; and they will
make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned
130 JANE EYEE
to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt
against their lot. Nobody knows how many rebellions besides
political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which people
earth. Women are supposed to be very calm generally : but
women feel just as men feel ; they need exercise for their
faculties and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers
do ; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagna-
tion, precisely as men would suffer ; and it is narrow-minded
in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they
ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting
stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags.
It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they
seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced
necessary for their sex.
When thus alone I not unfrequently heard Grace Poole's
laugh : the same peal, the same low, slow ha ! ha ! which,
when first heard, had thrilled me : I heard, too, her eccentric
murmurs ; stranger than her laugh. There were days when
she was quite silent ; but there were others when I could
not account for the sounds she made. Sometimes I saw her ;
she would come out of her room with a basin, or a plate, or
a tray in her hand, go down to the kitchen, and shortly return,
generally (oh, romantic reader, forgive me for telling the
plain truth :) bearing a pot of porter. Her appearance
always acted as a damper to the curiosity raised by her oral
oddities : hard-featured and staid, she had no point to which
interest could attach. I made some attempts to draw her
into conversation, but she seemed a person of few words : a
monosyllabic reply usually cut short every effort of that sorb.
The other members of the household, viz. John and his
wife, Leah the housemaid, and Sophie the French nurse,
were decent people : but in no respect remarkable. With
Sophie I used to talk French, and sometimes I asked her
questions about her native country; but she was not of
a descriptive or narrative turn, and generally gave such
vapid and confused answers as were calculated rather to
check than encourage inquiry.
JANE EYBB 131
October, November, December passed away. One after-
noon in January Mrs. Fairfax had begged a holiday for
Ad61e because she had a cold ; and, as Adele seconded the
request with an ardour that reminded me how precious
occasional holidays had been to me in my own childhood, I
accorded it, deeming that I did well in showing pliability on
the point. It was a fine, calm day, though very cold ; I was
tired of sitting still in the library through a whole long
morning: Mrs. Fairfax had just written a letter which was
waiting to be posted, so I put on my bonnet and cloak and
volunteered to carry it to Hay ; the distance, two miles,
would be a pleasant winter afternoon walk. Having seen
Adele comfortably seated in her little chair by Mrs. Fairfax's
parlour iheside, and given her her best wax doll (which I
usually kept enveloped in silver paper in a drawer) to play
with, and a story-book for change of amusement ; and
having replied to her ' Eevenez bient6t, ma bonne amie, ma
chere Mdlle. Jeannette,' with a kiss, I set out.
The ground was hard, the air was still, my road was
lonely; I walked fast till I got warm, and then I walked
slowly to enjoy and analyse the species of pleasure brooding
for me in the hour and situation. It was three o'clock ; the
church bell tolled as I passed under the belfry : the charm of
the hour lay in its approaching dimness, in the low-gliding
and pale-beaming sun. I was a mile from Thornfield, in a
lane noted for wild roses in summer, for nuts and black-
berries in autumn, and even now possessing a few coraJ
treasures in hips and haws, but whose best winter delight
lay in its utter solitude and leafless repose. If a breath of
air stirred, it made no sound here ; for there was not a holly,
not an evergreen to rustle, and the stripped hawthorn and
hazel bushes were as still as the white, worn stones which
causewayed the middle of the path. Far and wide, on each
side, there were only fields, where no cattle now browsed ; and
the little brown birds, which stirred occasionally in the hedge,
looked like single russet leaves that had forgotten to drop.
This lane inclined uphill all the way to Hay: having.
132 JANE EYKE
reached the middle I sat down on a stile which led thence
into a field. Gathering my mantle about me, and sheltering
my hands in my muff, I did not feel the cold, though it froze
keenly ; as was attested by a sheet of ice covering the cause-
way, where a little brooklet, now congealed, had overflowed
after a rapid thaw some days since. From my seat I could
look down on Thornfield : the grey and battlemented hall was
the principal object in the vale below me ; its woods and
dark rookery rose against the west. 1 lingered till the sun
went down amongst the tiess, and sank crimson and clear
behind them. I then turned eastward.
On the hilltop above me sat the rising moon ; pale yet as
a cloud, but brightening momently : she looked over Hay,
which, half lost in trees, sent up a blue smoke from its few
chimneys; it was yet a mile distant, but in the absolute
hush I could hear plainly its thin murmurs of lifo. My ear
too felt the flow of currents ; in what dales and depths I could
not tell : but there were many hills beyond Hay, and
doubtless many becks threading their passes. That evening
calm betrayed alike the tinkle of the nearest streams, the
sough of the most remote.
A rude noise broke on these fine ripplings and whisper-
ings, at once so far away and so clear : a positive tramp,
tramp; a metallic clatter, which effaced the soft wave-
wanderings ; as, in a picture, the solid mass of a crag, or the
rough boles of a great oak, drawn in dark and strong on the
foreground, efface the aerial distance of azure hill, sunny
horizon, and blended clouds, where tint melts into tint.
The din was on the causeway ; a horse was coming ; the
windings of the lane yet hid it, but it approached. I was
just leaving the stile ; yet, as the path waa narrow, I sat
still to let it go by. In those days I was young, and all
sorts of fancies bright and dark tenanted my mind : the
memories of nursery stories were there amongst other
rubbish ; and when they recurred, maturing youth added to
them a vigour and vividness beyond what childhood could
give. As this horse approached, and as I watched for it to
JANE EYEE 133
appear through the dusk, 1 remembered certain of Bessie's
tales, wherein figured a North-of -En gland spirit, called a
* Gyfcrash,' which, in the form of horse, mule, or large dog,
haunted solitary ways, and sometimes came upon belated
travellers, as this horso was now coming upon me.
It was very near, but not yet in sight, when, in addition
to the tramp, tramp, I heard a rush under the hedge, and
close down by the hazel stems glided a great dog, whose
black and white colour made him a distinct object against
the trees. It was exactly one mask of Bessie's Gytrash,- a>
lion-like creature with long hair and a huge head : it passod
me, however, quietly enough ; not staying to look up, with
strange pnrtercanine eyes, in my face, as I half expected it
would. rlhe horse followed, — a tall steed, and on its back a
rider. The man, the human being, broke the spell at once.
Nothing ever rodo the Gytrash : it was always alone ; and
goblins, to my notions, though they might tenant the dumb
carcases of beasts, could scarce covet shelter in the common-
place human form. No Gytrash was this, — only a traveller
taking the short cut to Millcote. He passed, and I went on :
a few steps, and I turned : a sliding sound and an exclama-
tion of * What the deuce is to do now ? ' f'ind a clattering
tumble, arrested my attention. Man and horse were down ;
they had slipped on the sheet of ice which glazed the cause-
way. The dog came bounding back, and seeing his master
in a predicament, and hearing the horse groan, barked till
the evening hills echoed tho sound, which was deep in
proportion to his magnitude. Up snuffed round the prostrate
group, and then he ran up to mo ; it was all he could do,- -
there was no other help at hand to summon. I obeyed him,
and walked down to the traveller, by this time struggling
himself free of his steed. His efforts were so vigorous I
thought he could not be much hurt ; but I asked him the
question : — ' Are you injured, sir? '
I think he was swearing, but am not certain ; however,
he was pronouncing some formula which prevented him
from replying to me directly.
134 JANE EYEB
1 Can I do anything ? ' I asked again.
1 You must just stand on one side,' he answered as he rose,
first to his knees, and then to his feet. I did ; whereupon
hegan a heaving, stamping, clattering process, accompanied
by a barking and baying which removed me effectually some
yards' distance ; but I would not be driven quite away till I
saw the event. This was finally fortunate ; the horse was
re-established, and the dog was silenced with a ' Down,
Pilot ! ' The traveller now, stooping, felt his foot and leg, as
if trying whether they were sound ; apparently something
ailed them, for he halted to the stile whence I had just risen,
and sat down.
I was in the mood for being useful, or at least officious, I
think, for I now drew near him again.
' If you are hurt, and want help, sir, I can fetch some
one either from Thornfield Hall or from Hay/
1 Thank you ; I shall do : I have no broken bones — only
a sprain ; ' and again he stood up and tried his foot, but the
result extorted an involuntary ' Ugh ! '
Something of daylight still lingered, and the moon was
waxing bright : I could see him plainly. His figure was
enveloped in a riding cloak, fur collared, and steel clasped ;
its details were not apparent, but I traced the general points
of middle height, and considerable breadth of chest. He
had a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow ; his
eyes and gathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just
now ; he was past youth, but had not reached middle age ;
perhaps he might be Ihirty-five. I felt no fear of him, and
but little shyness. Had he beetn a handsome, heroic-looking
young gentleman, I should not have dared to stand thus
questioning him against his will, and offering my services
unasked. I had hardly ever seen a handsome youth ; never
in my life spoken to one. I had a theoretical reverence and
homage for beauty, elegance, gallantry, fascination ; but had
I met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape, I should
have known instinctively that they neither had nor could
have sympathy with anything in me, and should have
JANE EYEB 135
shunned them as one would fire, lightning, or anything else
that is bright but antipathetic.
If even this stranger had smiled and been good-humoured
to me when I addressed him ; if he had put off my offer of
assistance gaily and with thanks, I should have gone on my
way and not felt any vocation to renew inquiries : but the
frown, the roughness of the traveller, set me at my ease :
I retained my station when lie waved to me to go, and
announced : — ' I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late
an hour, in this solitary lane, till I see you are fit to mount
your horse/
lie looked at me when I said this : he had hardly turned
his eyes in my direction before.
1 1 should think you ought to be at home yourself/ said
he, ' if you have a home in this neighbourhood : where do
you come from ? '
1 Prom just below ; and I am not at all afraid of being
out late when it is moonlight : I will run over to Hay for
you with pleasure, if you wish it ; indeed, I am going there
to po,-»t a letter/
* You live just bolow — do you mean at that house with
the battlements ? ' pointing to Thornfield Hall, on which the
moon cast a hoary gleam, bringing it out distinct and pale
from the woods, that, by contrast with the western sky, now
seemed one mass of shadow.
1 Yes, sir/
' Whose house is it ? '
1 Mr. Eochester's/
1 Do you know Mr. Bochester ? '
4 No, I have never seen him/
' He u not resident, then ? '
'No/
I Can you tell me where he is ? '
I 1 cannot/
'You are not a servant at the hall, of course. You
are ' He stopped, ran his eye over my dress, which, as
usual, was quite simple : a black merino cloak, a black
136 JANE EYEE
beaver bonnet : neither of them half fine enough for a lady's-
'maid. He seemed puzzled to decide what I was : I helped
him.
' I am the governess.'
'Ah, the governess ! ' he repeated ; 'deuce take me, if I
had not forgotten ! The governess ! ' and again my raiment
underwent scrutiny. In two minutes he rose from the stile :
his face expressed pain when he tried to move.
' I cannot commission you to fetch help,1 he said ; ' but
you may help me a little yourself, if you will be so kind.1
' Yes, sir.'
1 You have not an umbrella that I can use as a stick ? '
'No.'
' Try to get hold of my horse's bridle and lead him to
me : you are not afraid ! '
I should have been afraid to touch a horse when alone,
but when told to do it I was disposed to obey. I put down
my mufT on the stile, and went up to the tall steed ; I en-
deavoured to catch the bridle, but it was a spirited thing,
and would not let me come necir its head ; I made effort on
effort, though in vain : meantime, I was mortally afraid of its
trampling fore-feet. The traveller waited and watched for
some time, and at last he laughed.
' I see,' he said, ' the mountain will never be brought to
Mahomet, so all you can do is to aid Mahomet to go to the
mountain ; I must beg of you to come here.'
I came. ' Excuse me,' he continued : ' necessity compels
me to make you useful.' He laid a heavy hand on my
shoulder, and leaning on me with some stress, limped to his
horse. Having once caught the bridle, he mastered it
directly, and sprang to his saddle ; grimacing grimly as he
made the effort, for it wrenched his sprain.'
' Now,' said he, releasing his under lip from a hard bite,
' just hand me my whip ; it lies there under the hedge.1
I sought it and found it.
' Thank you : now make haste with the letter to Hay,
and return as fast as you can/
JANE EYEE 137
A touch of a spurred heel made his horse first start and
rear, and then bound away ; the dog rushed in hia traces :
all three vanished,
Like heath that, in the wilderness,
The wild wind whirls away.
I took up my muff and walked on. The incident had
occurred and was gone for me : it was an incident of no
moment, no romance, no interest in a sense ; yet it marked
with change one single hour of a monotonous life. My help
had been needed and claimed ; T had given it : I was pleased
to have done something ; trivial, transitory though tho deed
was, it was yet an active thing, and I was weary of an
existence all passive. The new face, too, was like a new
picture introduced to the gallery of memory ; and it was
dissimilar to all the others hanging there : firstly, because it
was masculine ; and, secondly, because it was dark, strong,
and stern. I had it still before me when I entered Hay,
and slipped the letter into the post-oflice ; I saw it as 1
walked fast down hill all the way home. When I came to
the stile, I stopped a minute, looked round and listened, with
an idea that a horse's hoof might ring on the causeway again,
and that a rider in a cloak, and a Gytrash-like Newfoundland
dog, might be again apparent : I saw only the hedge and a
pollard willow before me, rising up still and straight to meet
the moonbeams; I heard only the faintest waft of wind
roaming fitful among the trees round Thornfield, a mile
distant ; and when I glanced down in the direction of the
murmur, my eye, traversing the hall-front, caught a light
kindling in a window : it reminded me that I was late, and
I hurried on.
I did not like re-entering Thornfield. To pass its thresh-
old was to return to stagnation ; to cross the silent hall, to
ascend the darksome staircase, to seek my own lonely little
room, and then to meet tranquil Mrs. Fairfax, and spend
the long winter evening with her, and her only, was to quell
wholly the faint excitement wakened by my walk, — to slip
138 JANE EYEE
again over my faculties the viewless fetters of an uniform
and too still existence ; of an existence whose very privileges
of security and ease I was becoming incapable of appreciating.
What good it would have done me at that time to have been
tossed in the storms of an uncertain struggling life, and to
have been taught by rough and bitter experience to long for
the calm amidst which I now repined ! Yes, just as much
good as it would do a man tired of sitting still in a ( too easy
chair ' to take a long walk ; and just as natural was the wish
to stir, under my circumstances, as it would be under his.
I lingered at the gates ; I lingered on the lawn ; I paced
backwards and forwards on the pavement : the shutters of
the glass door were closed ; I could not see into the interior ;
and both my eyes and spirit seemed drawn from the gloomy
house — from the grey hollow filled with rayless cells, as it
appeared to me — to that sky expanded before me, — a blue
sea absolved from taint of cloud ; the moon ascending it in
solemn march ; her orb seeming to look up as she left the
hilltops, from behind which she had come, far and farther
below her, and aspired to the zenith, midnight-dark in its
fathomless depth and measureless distance : and for those
trembling stars that followed her course; they made my
heart tremble, my veins glow when I viewed them. Little
things recall us to earth : the clock struck in the hall ; that
sufficed ; I turned from moon and stars, opened a side door,
and went in.
The hall was not dark, nor yet was it lit, only by the
high-hung bronze lamp : a warm glow suffused both it and
the lower steps of the oak staircase. This ruddy shine issued
from the great dining-room, whose two-leaved door stood
open, and showed a genial fire in the grate, glancing on
marble hearth and brass fireirons, and revealing purple
draperies and polished furniture, in the most pleasant radiance.
It revealed, too, a group near the mantelpiece : I had scarcely
caught it, and scarcely become aware of a cheerful mingling
of voices, amongst which I seemed to distinguish the tones
of Adele, when the door closed.
JANE EYEE 139
I hastened to Mrs. Fairfax's room : there was a fire there
too, but no candle, and no Mrs. Fairfax. Instead, all alone,
sitting upright on the rug, and gazing with gravity at the
blaze, I beheld a great black and white long-haired dog, just
like the Gytrash of the lane. It was so like it that 1 went
forward and said — ' Pilot,' and the thing got up and came to
me and snuffed me. I caressed him, and he wagged his
great tail : but he looked an eerie creature to be alone with,
and I could not tell whence he had come. I rang the bell, for
I wanted a candle ; and I wanted, too, to get an account of
this visitant. Leah entered.
1 What dog is this ? '
' He cjtme with master/
' With whom ? '
' With master — Mr. Eochester — he is just arrived.'
c Indeed ! and is Mrs. Fail fax with him ? '
1 Yes, and Miss Adela ; they are in the dining-room, and
John is gone for a surgeon : for master has had an accident ;
his horse fell and his ankle is sprained.'
1 Did the horse fall in Hay Lane ? '
' Yes, coining down hill ; it slipped on some ice.'
' Ah ! Bring me a candle, will you, Leah ? '
Leah brought it ; she entered, followed by Mrs. Fairfax,
who repeated the news ; adding that Mr. Carter the surgeon
was come, and was now with Mr. Eochester : then she
hurried out to give orders about tea, and I went upstairs to
take off my things.
140 JANE EYEB
CHAPTEE XIII
MK ROCHESTER, it seems, by the surgeon's orders, went to
bed early that night ; nor did he rise soon next morning.
When-he did come down, it was to attend to business : his
agent and some of his tenants were arrived, and waiting to
speak with him.
Ad61e and I had now to vacate the library : it would be in
daily requisition as a reception-room for callers. A fire was
lit in an apartment upstairs, and there I carried our books,
and arranged it for the future schoolroom. I discerned in
the course of the morning that Thornlield Hall was a
changed place : no longer silent as a church, it echoed
every hour or two to a knock at the door, or a clang of the
bell ; steps, too, often traversed the hall, and new voices
spoke in different keys below ; a rill from the outer world
was flowing through it ; it had a master : for my part I
liked it better.
Adele was not easy to teach that day ; she could not
apply : she kept running to the door and looking over the
banisters to see if she could get a glimpse of Mr. Rochester ;
then she coined pretexts to go downstairs, in order, as I
shrewdly suspected, to visit the library, where I knew she
was not wanted ; then, when I got a little angry, and made
her sit still, she continued to talk incessantly of her ' ami,
Monsieur Edouard Fairfax de Rochester/ as she dubbed him
(I had not before heard his prenomens), and to conjecture
what presents he had brought her : for it appears he had
intimated the night before, that when his luggage came from
JANE EYEE
Millcote there would be found amongst it a little box in
whose contents she had an interest.
' Et cela doit signifier,' said she, ' qu'il y aura 1& dedans un
cadeau pour moi, et peutetre pour vous aussi, mademoiselle.
Monsieur a parld de vous : il m'a demand^ le nom de ma
gouvernante, et si elle n'6tait pas une petite personne, assez
mince et un peu pftle. J'ai dit qu'oui : car c'est vrai, n'est-
ce pas, mademoiselle ? '
I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's parlour ;
the afternoon was wild and snowy, and we passed it in the
schoolroom. At dark I allowed Adele to put away books
and work, and to run downstairs ; for, from the comparative
silence below, and from the cessation of appeals to the door-
bell, I conjectured that Mr. Rochester was now at liberty.
Left alone, I walked to the window ; but nothing was to be
seen thence : twilight and snowflakes together thickened the
air, and hid the very shrubs on the lawn. I let down the
curtain and went back to the fireside.
In the clear embers I was tracing a view, not unlike a
picture I remembered to have seen of the castle of Heidel-
berg, on the Bhine, when Mrs. Fairfax came in, breaking up
by her entrance the fiery mosaic I had been piecing together,
and scattering too some heavy unwelcome thoughts that were
beginning to throng on my solitude.
1 Mr. Eochester would be glad if you and your pupil would
take tea with him in the drawing-room this evening,' said she :
' he has been so much engaged all day that he could not a&k
to see you before.'
' When is his tea-time ? * I inquired.
' Oh, at six o'clock : he keeps early hoyrs in the country.
You had better change your frock now ; I will go with you
and fasten it. Here is a candle.'
' Is it necessary to change my frock ? '
'Yes, you had better: I always dress for the evening
when Mr. Eochester is here.'
This additional ceremony seemed somewhat stately : how-
ever, I repaired to my room, and, with Mrs. Fairfax's aid,
142 JANE EYEE
replaced ray black stuff dress by one of black silk : the best
and the only additional one I had, except one of light grey,
which, in my Lowood notions of the toilette, I thought too
fine to be worn, except on first-rate occasions.
* You want a brooch/ said Mrs. Fairfax. I had a single
little pearl ornament which Miss Temple gave me as a part-
ing keepsake : I put ifc on, and then we went downstairs.
Unused as I was to strangers, it was rather a trial to appear
thus formally summoned in Mr. Eochester's presence. I let
Mrs. Fairfax precede me into the dining-room, and kept in
her shade as we crossed that apartment ; and, passing the
arch, whose curtain was now dropped, entered the elegant
recess beyond.
Two wax candles stood lighted on the table, and two on
the mantelpiece ; basking in the light and heat of a superb
fire lay Pilot — Adele knelt near him. Half reclined on a
couch appeared Mr. Eochester, his foot supported by the
cushion ; he was looking at Adele and the dog : the fire shone
full on his face. I knew my traveller with his broad and
jetty ejebrows; his square forehead, made squarer by the
horizontal sweep of his black hair. I recognised his decisive
nose, more remarkable for character than beauty ; his full
nostrils, denoting, I thought, choler; his grim mouth, chin,
and jaw — yes, all three were very grim, and no mistake.
His shape, now divested of cloak, I perceived harmonised in
squareness with his physiognomy : I suppose it was a good
figure in the athletic sense of the term — broad-chested and
thin-flanked, though neither tall nor graceful.
Mr. Eochester must have been aware of the entrance of
Mrs. Fairfax and myself ; but it appeared he was not in the
mood to notice us, for he never lifted his head as we
approached.
1 Here is Miss Eyre, sir,' said Mrs. Fairfax, in her quiet
way. He bowed, still not taking his eyes from the group of
the dog and child.
( Let Miss Eyre be seated,' said he : and there was some-
thing in the forced stiff bow, in the impatient yet formal tone,
JANE EYEE 143
which seemed further to express, ' What the deuce is it to me
whether Miss Eyre be there or not ? At this moment I am
not disposed to accost her.'
I sat down quite disembarrassed. A reception of finished
politeness would probably have confused me : I could not
have returned or repaid it by answering grace and elegance
on my part ; but harsh caprice laid me under no obligation ;
on the contrary, a decent quiescence, under the freak of
manner, gave me advantage. Besides, the eccentricity of the
proceeding was piqiiant : I felt interested to see how he
would go on.
He went on as a statue would, that is, he neither spoke
nor moved. Mrs. Fairfax seemed to think it necessary that
some one should be amiable, and she began to talk. Kindly,
as usual — and, as usual, rather trite — she condoled with him
on the pressure of business he had had all day; on the
annoyance it must have been to him with that painful sprain :
then she commended his patience and perseverance in going
through with it.
' Madam, I should like some tea/ was the sole rejoinder
she got. She hastened to ring the bell ; and, when the tray
came, she proceeded to arrange the cups, spoons, &c., with
assiduous celerity. I and A dele went to the table ; but the
master did not leave his couch.
1 Will you hand Mr. Kochester's cup ? ' said Mrs. Fairfax
to me ; ' Ad61e might perhaps spill it.1
I did as requested. As he took the cup from my hand,
Ad&le, thinking the moment propitious for making a request
in my favour, cried out : — ' N'est-ce pas, monsieur, qu'il y a
un cadeau pour Mademoiselle Eyre, dans votre petit coffre ? '
' Who talks of cadeaux ? ' said he gruffly : ' did you
expect a present, Miss Eyre ? Are you fond of presents ? '
and he searched my face with eyes that I saw were dark,
irate, and piercing.
I 1 hardly know, sir ; I have little experience of them :
they are generally thought pleasant things.'
' Generally thought ? But what do you think ? '
144 JANE EYEE
' I should be obliged to take time, sir, before I could give
you an answer worthy of your acceptance : a present has
many faces to it, has it not ? and one should consider all
before pronouncing an opinion as to its nature.'
( Miss Eyre, you are not so unsophisticated as Adele :
she demands a " cadeau," clamorously, the moment she sees
me : you beat about the bush/
'Because I have less confidence in my deserts than
Adele has: she can prefer the claim of old acquaintance,
and the right too of custom ; for she says you have always
been in the habit of giving her playthings ; but if I had to
make out a case I should be puzzled, since I am a stranger,
and have done nothing to entitle me to an acknowledg-
ment/
1 Oh, don't fall back on over-modesty ! I have examined
Adele, and find you have taken great pains with her ; she is
not bright, she has no talents ; yet in a short time she has
made much improvement/
' Sir, you have now given me my " cadeau " ; I am
obliged to you : it is the meed teachers most covet ; praise
of their pupil's progress/
1 Humph ! ' said Mr. Eochester, and he took his tea in
silence.
'Come to the fire/ said the master, when the tray was
taken away, and Mrs. Fairfax had settled into a corner with
her knitting ; while Adele was leading me by the hand round
the room, showing me the beautiful books and ornaments
on the consoles and chiffonni&res. We obeyed, as in duty
bound ; Adele wanted to take a seat on my knee, but she
was ordered to amuse herself with Pilot.
' You have been resident in my house three months ? '
1 Yes, sir/
' And you came from ? *
' From Lowood school, in shire/
' Ah I a charitable concern.— How long were you there?'
1 Eight years/
1 Eight years ! you must be tenacious of life. I thought
JANE EYEE 145
half the time in such a place would have done up any con-
stitution ! No wonder you have rather the look of another
world. I marvelled where you had got that sort of face.
When you came on me in Hay Lane last night, I thought
unaccountably of fairy tales, and had half a mind to demand
whether you had bewitched my horse : I am not sure yet.
Who are your parents ? '
' 1 have none.'
' Nor ever had, I suppose : do you remember them ? f
'No.'
'I thought not. And so you were waiting for your
people when you sat on that stile ? '
'For whom, sir?'
' For the men in green : it was a proper moonlight
evening for them. Did 1 break through one of your rings,
that you spread that damned ice on the causeway ? '
I shook my head. ' The men in green all forsook
England a hundred years ago,' said I, speaking as seriously
as he had done. ' And not even in Hay Lane,, or the fields
about it, could you find a trace of them. I don't think
either summer or harvest, or winter moon, will ever shine
on their revels more.'
Mrs. Fairfax had dropped her knitting, and, with raised
eyebrows, seemed wondering what sort of talk this was.
1 Well,' resumed Mr. Eochester, ' if you disown parents
you must have some sort of kinsfolk : uncles and aunts ? '
' No ; none that I ever saw.'
' And your home ? '
' I have none.'
' Where do your brothers and sisters live ? *
' I have no brothers or sisters/
' Who recommended you to come here ? '
' I advertised, and Mrs. Fairfax answered my advertise-
ment.'
* Yes,' said the good lady, who now knew what ground
we were upon, 'and I am daily thankful for the choice
Providence led me to make. Miss Eyre has been an
146 JANE EYEE
invaluable companion to me, and a kind and careful teacher
to Ad&le.'
1 Don't trouble yourself to give her a character/ returned
Mr. Eochester : ' eulogiums will not bias me ; I shall judge
for myself. She began by felling my horse/
1 Sir?' said Mrs. Fairfax.
' I have to thank her for this sprain/
The widow looked bewildered.
1 Miss Eyre, have you ever lived in a town ?'
1 No, sir/
1 Have you seen much society ? '
1 None but the pupils and teachers of Lowood ; and now
the inmates of Thornfield/
' Have you read much ? '
' Only such books as came in my way ; and they have not
been numerous or very learned/
' You have lived the life of a nun : no doubt you are well
drilled in religious forms ; — Brocklehurst, who I understand
directs Lowood, is a parson, is he not ? '
' Yes, sir/
' And you girls probably worshipped him, as a convent
full of religieuses would worship their director ? '
1 Oh, no/
I You are very cool ! No ! What ! A novice not wor-
ship her priest ! That sounds blasphemous/
I 1 disliked Mr. Brocklehurst ; and I was not alone in the
feeling. He is a harsh man ; at once pompous and meddling :
he cut off our hair ; and for economy's sake bought us bad
needles and thread, with which we could hardly sew/
' That was very false economy/ remarked Mrs. Fairfax,
who now again caught the drift of the dialogue.
1 And was that the head and front of his offending ? '
demanded Mr. Eochester.
'He starved us when he had the sole superintendence
of the provision department, before the committee was
appointed ; and he bored us with long lectures once a week,
and with evening readings from books of his own inditing,
JANE EYEE 147
about sudden deaths and judgments, which made us afraid
to go to bed/
' What age were you when you went to Lowood? '
1 About ten/
' And you stayed there eight years : you are now, then,
eighteen ? '
I assented.
* Arithmetic, you see, is useful ; without its aid I should
hardly have been able to guess your age. It is a point diffi-
cult to fix where the features and countenance are so much
at variance as in your case. And now, what did you learn at
Lowood ? Can you play ? '
'A little/
' Of course : that is the established answer. Go into the
library — I mean, if you please. (Excuse my tone of
command ; I am used to say " Do this," and it is done : I
cannot alter my customary habits for one new inmate.)
Go, then, into the library ; take a candle with you ; leave the
door open ; sit down to the piano, and play a tune/
I departed, obeying his directions.
' Enough ! ' he called out in a few minutes. ' You play
a little, I see, like any other English schoolgirl : perhaps
rather better than some, but not well/
I closed the piano and returned. Mr. Eochester con-
tinued :
1 Ad61e showed me some sketches this moit f'jig which she
said were yours. I don't know whether theynfepere entirely
of your doing : probably a master aided you ? '
1 No, indeed ! * I interjected.
' Ah ! that pricks pride. Well, fetch me your portfolio,
if you can vouch for its contents being original ; but don't
pass your word unless you are certain : I can recognise
patchwork/
' Then I will say nothing, and you shall judge for your-
self, sir/
I brought the portfolio from the library.
' Approach the table/ said he ; and I wheeled it to his
148 JANE EYEB
couch. Adele and Mrs. Fairfax drew near to see the
pictures.
' No crowding/ said Mr. Rochester : ' take the drawings
from my hand as I finish with them ; but don't push your
faces up to mine.1
He deliberately scrutinised each sketch and painting.
Three he laid aside ; the others, when he had examined them,
he swept from him.
1 Take them off to the other table, Mrs. Fairfax,' said he,
*and look at them with Adele; — you* (glancing at me)
4 resume your seat, and answer my questions. I perceive
these pictures were done by one hand: was that hand
yours ? '
' Yes.1
1 And when did you find time to do them ? They have
taken much time, and some thought/
' I did them in the last two vacations I spent at Lowood,
when I had no other occupation/
' Where did you get your copies ? '
' Out of my head/
' That head I see now on your shoulders ? '
' Yes, sir/ *
4 Has it other furniture of the same kind within ? '
' I should think it may have : I should hope— better/
He spread the pictures before him, and again surveyed
them alternately.
While h<10 so occupied I will tell you, reader, what they
are : and first, I must premise that they are nothing wonder-
ful. The subjects had, indeed, risen vividly on my mind.
As I saw them with the spiritual eye, before I attempted to
embody them, they were striking ; but my hand would not
second my fancy, and in each case it had wrought out but a
pale portrait of the thing I had conceived.
These pictures were in water-colours. The first repre-
sented clouds low and livid, rolling over a swollen sea : all
the distance was in eclipse ; so, too, was the foreground ;
or, rather, the nearest billows, for there was no land. One
JANE EYEE 149
gleam of light lifted into relief a half-submerged mast, on
which sat a cormorant, dark and large, with wings flecked
with foam : its beak held a gold bracelet, set with gems, that
I had touched with as brilliant tints as my palette could
yield, and as glittering distinctness as my pencil could im-
part. Sinking below the bird and mast, a drowned corpse
glanced through the green water ; a fair arm was the only
limb clearly visible, whence the bracelet had been washed
or torn.
The second picture contained for foreground only the dim
peak of a hill, with grass and some leaves slanting as if by
a breeze. Beyond and above spread an expanse of sky,
dark blue *is at twilight : rising into the sky was a woman's
shape to the bust, portrayed in tints as dusk and soft as I
could combine. The dim forehead was crowned with a star ;
the lineaments below were seen as through the suffusion of
vapour ; the eyes shone dark and wild ; the hair streamed
shadowy, like a beamless cloud torn by storm or by electric
travail. On the neck lay a pale reflection like moonlight ;
the same faint lustre touched the train of thin clouds
from which rose and bowed this vision of the Evening
Star.
The third showed the pinnacle of an iceberg piercing a
polar winter sky : a muster of northern lights reared their
dim lances, close serried, along the horizon. Throwing these
into distance, rose, in the foreground, a head, — a colossal
head, inclined towards the iceberg, and resting against it.
Two thin hands, joined under the forehead, and supporting
it, drew up before the lower features a sable veil ; a brow
quite bloodless, white as bone, and an eye hollow and fixed,
blank of meaning but for the glassiness of despair, alone
were visible. Above the temples, amidst wreathed turban
folds of black drapery, vague in its character and consistency
as cloud, gleamed a ring of white flame, gemmed with
sparkles of a more lurid tinge. This pale crescent was ' The
likeness of a Kingly Crown ' ; what it diademed was ' the
shape which shape had none/
150 JANE EYEE
' Were you happy when you painted these pictures ? '
asked Mr. Eochester, presently.
' I was absorbed, sir : yes, and I was happy. To paint
them, in short, was to enjoy one of the keenest pleasures I
have ever known.'
1 That is not saying much. Your pleasures, by your own
account, have been few ; but I daresay you did exist hi a
kind of artist's dreamland while you blent and arranged
these strange tints. Did you sit at them long each day? '
' I had nothing else to do, because it was the vacation,
and I sat at them from morning till noon, and from noon
till night : the length of the midsummer days favoured
my inclination to apply.7
1 And you felt self-satisfied with the result of your ardent
labours ? '
1 Far from it. I was tormented by the contrast between
my idea and my handiwork : in each case I had imagined
something which I was quite powerless to realise.1
' Not quite : you have secured the shadow of your
thought : but no more, probably. You had not enough of
the artist's skill and science to give it full being : yet the
drawings are, for a schoolgirl, peculiar. As to the thoughts,
they are elfish. These eyes in the Evening Star you must
have seen in a dream. How could you make them look so
clear, and yet not at all brilliant ? for the planet above quells
their rays. And what meaning is that in their solemn
depth ? And who taught you to paint wind ? There is a
high gale in that sky, and on this hilltop. Where did you
see Latmos ? For that is Latmos. There, — put the drawings
away ! '
I had scarce tied the strings of the portfolio, when,
looking at his watch, he said abruptly, — ' It is nine o'clock :
what are you about, Miss Eyre, to let Adele sit up so long ?
Take her to bed.'
Adele went to kiss him before quitting the room : he
endured the caress, but scarcely seemed to- relish it more
than Pilot would have done, nor so much.
JANE EYBE 161
1 1 wish you all good-night, now/ said he, making a
movement of the hand towards the door, in token that he
was tired of our company, and wished to dismiss us. Mrs.
Fairfax folded up her knitting: I took my portfolio: we
curtseyed to him, received a frigid bow in return, and so
withdrew.
' You said Mr. Eochester was not strikingly peculiar, Mrs.
Fairfax/ I observed, when I rejoined her in her room, after
putting Ad&Le to bed.
'Well, is he?'
' 1 think so : he is very changeful and abrupt.'
' True : no doubt he may appear so to a stranger, but I
am so accustomed to his manner I never think of it ; and
then, if he has peculiarities of temper, allowance should be
made.'
'Why?'
' Partly because it is his nature — and we can none of us
help our nature ; and, partly, he has painful thoughts, no
doubt, to harass him, and make his spirits unequal.'
'What about?'
' Family troubles, for one thing.'
' But he has no family.'
' Not now, but he has had — or, at least, relatives. He
lost his elder brother a few years since.'
' His elder brother?'
' Yes. The present Mr. Eochester has not been very long
in possession of the property ; only about nine years.'
' Nine years is a tolerable time. Was he so very fond of
his brother as to be still inconsolable for his loss ? '
' Why, no — perhaps not. I believe there were some mis-
understandings between them. Mr. Eowland Eochester was
not quite just to Mr. Edward ; and, perhaps, he prejudiced
his father against him. The old gentleman was fond of
money, and anxious to keep the family estate together. He
did not like to diminish the property by division, and yet he
was anxious that Mr. Edward should have wealth too, to
keep up the consequence of the name ; and, soon after he
a
152 JANE EYBB
was of age, some steps were taken that were not quite fair,
and made a great deal of mischief. Old Mr. Eochester and
Mr. Eowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he
considered a painful position, for the sake of making his
fortune : what the precise nature of that position was I
never. clearly knew, but his spirit could not brook what he
had to suffer in it. He is not very forgiving : he broke with
his family, and now for many years he has led an unsettled
kind of life. I don't think he has ever been resident at
Thornfield for a fortnight together since the death of his
brother without a will left him master of the estate ; and,
indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.1
' Why should he shun it ? '
Perhaps he thinks it gloomy.'
The answer was evasive — I should have liked something
clearer ; but Mrs. Fairfax either could not, or would not, give
me more explicit information of the origin and nature of Mr.
Bochester's trials. She averred they were a mystery to
herself, and that what she knew was chiefly from conjecture.
It was evident, indeed, that she wished me to drop the subject,
which I did accordingly.
JANE EYES 153
CHAPTEE XIV
FOB several subsequent days I saw little of Mr. Eochester.
In the mornings he seemed much engaged with business,
and in the afternoon gentlemen from- Millcote or the neigh-
bourhood called, and sometimes stayed to dine with him.
When his sprain was well enough to admit of horse exercise,
he rode out a good deal ; probably to return these visits, as
he generally did not come back till late at night.
During this interval even Adele was seldom sent for to
his presence, and all my acquaintance with him was confined
to an occasional rencontre in the hall, on the stairs, or in the
gallery, when he would sometimes pass me haughtily and
coldly, just acknowledging my presence by a distant nod or
a cool glance, and sometimes bow and smile with gentleman-
like affability. His changes of mood did not offend me,
because I saw that I had nothing to do with their alternation ;
the ebb and flow depended on causes quite disconnected
with me.
One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent
for my portfolio ; in order, doubtless, to exhibit its contents.
The gentlemen went away early, to attend a public meeting
at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax informed me ; but the night
being wet and inclement, Mr. Eochester did not accompany
them. Soon after they were gone, he rang the bell: a
message came that I and Adele were to go downstairs. I
brushed Ad&le's hair and made her neat, and having ascer-
tained that I was myself in my usual Quaker trim, where
there was nothing to retouch — all being too close and plain,
braided locks included, to admit of disarrangement — we
descended, Adele wondering whether the petit coffre was at
154 JANE EYBB
length come; for, owing to some mistake, its arrival had
hitherto been delayed. She was gratified : there it stood, a
little carton, on the table when we entered the dining-room.
She appeared to know it by instinct.
1 Ma botte ! ma boite ! ' exclaimed she, running towards it.
1 Yes — there is your " botte " at last : take it into a
corner, you genuine daughter of Paris, and amuse yourself
with disembowelling it,' said the deep and rather sarcastic
voice of Mr. Eochester, proceeding from the depths of an
immense easy-chair at the fireside. 'And mind/ he con-
tinued, ' don't bother me with any details of the anatomical
process, or any notice of the condition of the entrails : let
your operation be conducted in silence : tiens-toi tranquille,
enfant; comprends-tu ? '
Ad&le seemed scarcely to need the warning ; she had
already retired to a sofa with her treasure, and was busy
untying the cord which secured the lid. Having removed
this impediment, and lifted certain silvery envelopes of tissue-
paper, she merely exclaimed : — ' Oh ciel I Quo c'est beau 1 '
and then remained absorbed in ecstatic contemplation.
1 Is Miss Eyre there ? ' now demanded the master, half
rising from his seat to look round to the door, near which I
still stood.
1 Ah ! well ; come forward : be seated here.' He drew a
chair near his own. 'I am not fond of the prattle of
children,' he continued ; ' for, old bachelor as I am, I have
no pleasant associations connected with their lisp. It would
be intolerable to me to pass a whole evening Mte-d-tAte with
a brat. Don't draw that chair further off, Miss Eyre ; sit
down exactly where I placed it — if you please, that is.
Confound these civilities ! I continually forget them. Nor
do I particularly affect simple-minded old ladies. By-the-bye,
I must have mine in mind ; it won't do to neglect her ; she
is a Fairfax, or wed to one ; and blood is said to be thicker
than water.'
He rang a,nd despatched an invitation to Mrs. Fairfax, who
soon arrived, knitting-basket in hand.
JANE EYEE 155
1 Good-evening, madam ; I sent to you for a charitable
purpose : I have forbidden Ad&le to talk to me about her
presents, and she is bursting with repletion ; have the good-
ness to serve her as auditress and interlocutrice : it will be
one of the most benevolent acts you ever performed/
Ad61e, indeed, no sooner saw Mrs. Fairfax than she
summoned her to the sofa, and there quickly filled her lap
with the porcelain, the ivory, the waxen contents of her
1 boite ' ; pouring out, meantime, explanations and raptures
in such broken English as she was mistress of.
' Now I have performed the part of a good host,' pursued
Mr. Bochester, 'put my guests into the way of amusing
each other, I ought to be at liberty to attend to my own
pleasure. Miss Eyre, draw your chair still a little further
forward : you are yet too far back ; I cannot see you without
disturbing my position in this comfortable chair, which I
have no mind to do/
I did as I was bid, though I would much rather have
remained somewhat in the shade : but Mr. Eochester had
such a direct way of giving orders, it seemed a matter of
course to obey him promptly.
We were, as I have said, in the dining-room : the lustre,
which had been lit for dinner, filled the room with a festal
breadth of light ; the large fire was all red and clear ; the
purple curtains hung rich and ample before the lofty window
and loftier arch ; everything was still, save the subdued
chat of Ad61e (she dared not speak loud), and, filling up
each pause, the beating of winter rain against the panes.
Mr. Eochester, as he sat in his damask-covered chair,
looked different to what I had seen him look before ; not
quite so stern — much less gloomy. There was a smile on
his lips, and his eyes sparkled, whether with wine or not I
am not sure ; but I think it very probable. He was, in
short, in his after-dinner mood ; more expanded and genial,
and also more self-indulgent than the frigid and rigid
temper of the morning : still he looked preciously grim,
cushioning his massive head against the swelling back of
156 JANE EYEE
his chair, and receiving the light of the fire on his granite-
hewn features, and in his great, dark eyes ; for he had great,
dark eyes, and very fine eyes too — not without a certain
change in their depths sometimes, which, if it was not soft-
ness, reminded you, at least, of that feeling.
Ho had been looking two minutes at the fire, and I
had been looking the same length of time at him, when
turning suddenly, he caught my gaze fastened on his
physiognomy.
' You examine me, Miss Eyre,' said he : 'do you think
me handsome ? '
J should, if I had deliberated, have replied to this
question by something conventionally vague arid polite ; but
the answer somehow slipped from my .tongue before I was
aware . — 'No, sir.'
1 Ah ! By my word ! there is something singular about
you,' said he : ' you have the air of a little nonnette ; quaint,
quiet, grave, and simple, as you sit with your hands before
you, and your eyes generally bent on the carpet (except, by-
the-bye, when they are directed piercingly to my face ; as
just now, ior instance) ; and when one asks you a question,
or makes a remark to which you are obliged to reply, you
rap out a round rejoinder, which, if not blunt, is at least
brusque. What do you mean by it ? '
1 Sir, I was too plain : I beg your pardon. I ought to
have replied that it was not easy to give an impromptu
answer to a question about appearances ; that tastes differ ;
that beauty is of little consequence, or something of that
sort.'
1 You ought to have replied no such thing. Beauty of
little consequence, indeed 1 And so, under pretence of
softening the previous outrage, of stroking and soothing me
into placidity, you stick a sly penknife under my ear ! Go
on : what fault do you find with me, pray ? I suppose I
have all my limbs and all my features like any other man ? '
1 Mr. Eochester, allow me to disown my first answer. I
intended no pointed repartee : it was only a blunder.1
JANE EYEE 157
1 Just so : I think so : and you shall bo answerable for
it. Criticise me : does my forehead not please you ? '
He lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay horizont-
ally over his brow, and showed a solid enough mass of
intellectual organs, but an abrupt deficiency where the suave
sign of benevolence should have risen.
1 Now, ma'am, am I a fool ? '
' Far from it, sir. You would, perhaps, think me rude if
I inquired in return whether you are a philanthropist ? '
' There again ! Another stick of the penknife, when she
pretended to pat my head : and that is because I said I did
not like the society of children and old women (low be it
spoken !). No, young lady, I am not a general philan-
thropist; but I bear a conscience;' and he pointed to the
prominences which are said to indicate that faculty, and
which, fortunately for him, were sufficiently conspicuous;
giving, indeed, a marked breadth to the upper part of his
head : ' and, besides, I once had a kind of rude tenderness
of heart. When I was as old as you I was a feeling fellow
enough ; partial to the unfledged, unfostered, and unlucky ;
but fortune has knocked me about since : she has even
kneaded me with her knuckles, and now I flatter myself I
am hard and tough as an India-rubber ball; pervious,
though, through a chink or two still, and with one sentient
point in the middle of the lump. Yes : does that leave hope
forme?1
' Hope of what, sir ? '
' Of my final re-transformation from India-rubber back
to flesh ? '
1 Decidedly he has had too much wine,' I thought ; and I
did not know what answer to snake to his queer question : how
could I tell whether he was capable of being re- transformed?
' You look very much puzzled, Miss Byre ; and though you
are not pretty any more than I am handsome, yet a puzzled air
becomes you; besides, it is convenient, for it keeps those
searching eyes of yours away from my physiognomy, and
busies them with the worsted flowers of the rug ; so puzzle
158 JANE EYBE
on. Young lady, I am disposed to be gregarious and com-
municative to-night.'
With this announcement he rose from his chair, and
stood, leaning his arm on the marble mantelpiece : in that
attitude his shape was seen plainly as well as his face ; his
unusual breadth of chest, disproportionate almost to his
length of limb. I am sure most people would have thought
him an ugly man ; yet there was so much unconscious pride
in his port ; so much ease in his demeanour ; such a look of
complete indifference to -his own external appearance; so
haughty a reliance on the power of other qualities, intrinsic
or adventitious, to atone for the lack of mere personal attrac-
tiveness, that, in looking at him, one inevitably shared the
indifference, and, even in a blind, imperfect sense, put faith
in the confidence.
' I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to-
night/ he repeated ; ' and that is why I sent for you : the fire
and the chandelier were not sufficient company for me ; nor
would Pilot have been, for none of these can talk. Ad&le is a
degree bettor, but still far below the mark ; Mrs. Fairfax
ditto ; you, I am persuaded, can suit me if you will : you
puzzled me the first evening I invited you down here. I
have almost forgotten you since : other ideas have driven
yours from my head ; but to-night I am resolved to be at
ease ; to dismiss what importunes, and recall what pleases.
It would please me now to draw you out — to learn more of
you — therefore speak/
Instead of speaking, I smiled ; and not a very complacent
or submissive smile either.
1 Speak/ he urged.
1 What about, sir ? '
1 Whatever you like. I leave both the choice of subject
and the manner of treating it entirely to yourself.'
Accordingly I sat and said nothing : ' If he expects me to
talk for the mere sake of talking and showing off, he will
find he has addressed himself to the wrong person/ I
thought.
JANE EYBE 159
' You are dumb, Miss Eyre.'
I was dumb still. He bent his head a little towards me,
and with a single hasty glance seemed to dive into my eyes.
I Stubborn ? ' he said, ' and annoyed. Ah, it is consistent. I
put my request in an absurd, almost insolent form. Miss Eyre,
I beg your pardon. The fact is, once for all, I don't wish to
treat you like an inferior : that is (correcting himself), I claim
only such superiority as must result from twenty years'
difference in age and a century's advance in experience.
This is legitimate, et ]'y tiens, as A dele would say ; and it is
by virtue of this superiority and this alone that I desire
you to have the goodness to talk to me a little now, and
divert my thoughts, which are galled with dwelling on one
point — cankering as a rusty nail.'
He had deigned an explanation ; almost an apology : I
did not feel insensible to his condescension, and would not
seem so.
I 1 am willing to amuse you if I can, sir : quite willing ;
but I cannot introduce a topic, because how do I know what
will interest you ? Ask me questions, and I will do my best
to answer them/
' Then, in the first place, do you agree with me that I
have a right to be a little masterful, abrupt ; perhaps ex-
acting, sometimes, on the grounds I stated ; namely, that I
am old enough to be your father, and that I have battled
through a vaiied experience with many men of many nations,
and roamed over half the globe, while you have lived quietly'
with one set of people in one house ? '
' Do as you please, sir.1
'That is no answer; or rather it is a very irritating,
because a very evasive one ; reply clearly.'
1 1 don't think, sir, you have a right to command me
merely because you are older than I, or because you have
seen more of the world than I have ; your claim to superiority
depends on the use you have made of your time and ex-
perience.'
' Humph ! Promptly spoken. But I won't allow that,
02
160 JANE EYEE
seeing that it would never suit my case ; as I have made
an indifferent, not to say a bad, use of both advantages.
Leaving superiority out of the question, then, you must
still agree to receive ray orders now and then, without being
piqued or hurt by the tone of command — will you ? '
I smiled : I thought to myself Mr. Rochester is peculiar
— he seems to forget that he pays me 30Z. per annum for
receiving his orders.
' The smile is very well,1 said he, catching instantly the
passing expression ; ' but speak too/
1 1 was thinking, sir, that very few masters would trouble
themselves to inquire whether or not their paid subordinates
were piqued and hurt by their orders.'
1 Paid subordinates ! What, you are my paid subordinate,
are you ? Oh, yes, I had forgotten the salary 1 Well, then,
on that mercenary ground, will you agree to let me hector a
little ? '
' No, sir, not on that ground : but, on the ground that
you did forget it, and that you care whether or not a depen-
dent is comfortable in his dependency, I agree heartily/
'And will you consent to dispense with a great many
conventional forms and phrases, without thinking that the
omission arises from insolence ? '
'I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality for
insolence :*one I rather like, the other nothing free-born
would submit to, even for a salary/
' Humbug ! Most things free-born will submit to any-
thing for a salary ; therefore, keep to yourself, and don't
venture on generalities of which you are intensely ignorant.
However, I mentally shake hands with you for your answer,
despite its inaccuracy ; and as much for the manner in which
it was said as for the substance of the speech : the manner
was frank and sincere ; one does not often see such a manner :
no, on the contrary, affectation, or coldness, or stupid, coarse-
minded misapprehension of one's meaning are the usual
rewards of candour. Not three in three thousand raw school-
girl governesses would have answered me as you have just
JANE EYBE 161
done. But I don't mean to flatter you : if you are cast in a
different iriould to the majority, it is no merit of yours :
Nature did it. And then, after all, I go too fast in my con-
clusions : for what I yet know, you may be no better than
the rest , you may have intolerable detects to counterbalance
your few good points.'
1 And so may you/ I thought. My eye met his as the
idea crossed my mind : he seemed to read the glance, answer-
ing as if its import had been spoken as well as imagined : —
' Yes, yes, you arc right,' said ho ; * I have plenty ol faults
of my own : 1 know it, and I don't wish to palliate them, I
assure you. God wot I neel not be too severe about others ;
I have a past existence, a series of deeds, a colour of life to
contemplate within my own breast, which might well call
my sneers and censures from my neighbours to myself. T
started, or rather (for, like other defaulters, I like to lay
half the blame on ill fortune and adverse circumstances)
was thrust on to a wrong tack at the age of one-and-twenty,
and have never recovered the right course since : but I
might have been very different ; I might have been as good
as you — wiser, almost as stainless. I envy you your poace
of mind, your clean conscience, your unpolluted memory.
Little girl, a memory without blot or contamination must
be an exquisite treasure — an inexhaustible source of pure
refreshment : is it not ? '
' How was your memory when you were eighteen, sir ? '
' All right then ; limpid, salubrious : no gush of bilgo
water had turned it to fetid puddle. I was your equal at
eighteen— quite your equal. Nature meant me to be, on
the whole, a good man, Miss Eyre : one of the better kind ;
and you see I am not so. You would say you don't see it :
at least I flatter myself I read as much in your eye (beware,
by-the-bye, what you express with that organ, I am quick at
interpreting its language). Then take my word for it, — I am
not a villain : you are not to suppose that — not to attribute
to me any such bad eminence ; but, owing, I verily believe,
rather to circumstances than to my natural bent, I am a trite
162 JANE EYKE
commonplace sinner, hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipa-
tions with which the rich and worthless try to put on life.
Do you wonder that I avow this to you ? Know, that in
the course of your future life you will often find yourself
elected the involuntary confidant of your acquaintances'
secrets : people will instinctively find out, as I have done,
bhat it is not your forte to tell of yourself, but to listen
while others talk of themselves ; they will feel, too, that
you listen with no malevolent scorn of their indiscretion,
but with a kind of innate sympathy ; not the less comfort-
ing and encouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its
manifestations/
1 How do you know ? — how can you guess all this, sir ? '
' I know it well ; therefore I proceed almost as freely
as if I were writing my thoughts in a diary. You would
say, I should have been superior to circumstances ; so
I should — so I should; but you see I was not. When
fate wronged me, I had not the wisdom to remain cool : I
turned desperate; then I degenerated. Now, when any
vicious simpleton excites my disgust by his paltry ribaldry,
I cannot flatter myself that I am better than he : I am forced
to confess that he and I are on a level. I wish I had stood
firm — God knows I do ! Dread remorse when you are
tempted to err, Miss Eyre : remorse is the poison of life.'
1 Bepentance is said to be its cure, sir/
' It is not its cure. Eeformation may be its cure ; and I
could reform — I have strength yet for that — if — but where
is the use of thinking of it, hampered, burdened, cursed as I
am ? Besides, since happiness is irrevocably denied me, I
have a right to get pleasure out of life : and I will get it,
cost what it may/
1 Then you will degenerate still more, sir/
1 Possibly : yet why should I, if I can get sweet, fresh
pleasure ? And I may get it as sweet and fresh as the wild
honey the bee gathers on the moor/
1 It will sting — it will taste bitter, sir/
'How do you know?— you never tried it. How very
JANE EYBE 163
serious — how very solemn you look : and you are as ignorant
of the matter as this cameo head ' (taking one from the
mantelpiece). ' You have no right to preach to me, you
neophyte, that have not passed the porch of life, and are
absolutely unacquainted with its mysteries.'
* I only remind you of your own words, sir : you said
error brought remorse, and you pronounced remorse the
poison of existence/
'And who talks of error now? I scarcely think the
notion that flitted across my brain was an error. I believe
it was an inspiration rather than a temptation : it was very
genial, very soothing, — I know that Here it comes again !
It is no dovil, I assure you ; or if it be, it has put on the
robes of an angel of light I think I must admit so fair a
guest when it asks entrance to my heart/
' Distrust it, sir ; it is not a true angel/
I Once more, how do you know ? By what instinct do
you pretend to distinguish between a fallen seraph of the
abyss and a messenger from the eternal throne— between
a guide and a seducer ? '
I 1 judged by your countenance, sir ; which was troubled :
when you said the suggestion had returned upon you. I
feel sure it will work you more misery if you listen to it/
1 Not at all — it bears the most gracious message in
the world : for the rest, you are not my conscience-keeper,
so don't make yourself uneasy. Here, come in, bonny
wanderer ! '
He said this as if he spoke to a vision, viewless to any
eye but his own ; then, folding his arms, which ho had half
extended, on his chest, he seemed to enclose in their embrace
the invisible being.
1 Now,' he continued, again addressing me, ' I have
received the pilgrim — a disguised deity, as I verily believe.
Already it has done me good: my heart was a sort of
charnel ; it will now be a shrine/
' To speak truth, sir, I don't understand you at all : I
cannot keep up the conversation, because it has got out of
164: JANE EYEE
my depth. Only one thing I know : you said you were not
as good as you should like to be, and that you regretted your
own imperfection ; — one thing I can comprehend : you inti-
mated that to have a sullied memory was a perpetual bane.
It seems to me, that if you tried hard, you would in time
find it possible to become what you yourself would approve ;
and that if from this day you began with resolution to
correct your thoughts and actions, you would in a few years
have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections, to
which you might revert with pleasure.'
' Justly thought ; rightly said, Miss Eyre ; and, at this
moment, I am paving hell with energy.'
'Sir?'
1 1 am laying down good intentions, which I believe
durable as flint. Certainly, my associates and pursuits shall
be other than they have been/
' And better ? '
'And better — so much better as pure ore is than* foul
dross. You seem to doubt me ; I don't doubt myself : I
know what my aim is, what my motives are ; and at this
moment I pass a law, unalterable as that of the Modes and
Persians, that both are right.'
'They cannot be, sir, if they require a new statute to
legalise them/
' They are, Miss" Eyre, though they absolutely require a
new statute; unheard-of combinations of circumstances
demand unheard-of rules.'
' That sounds a dangerous maxim, sir ; because one can
see at once that it is liable to abuse.'
' Sententious sage ! so it is : but I swear by my household
gods not to abuse it.'
1 You are human and fallible.'
' I am : so are you — what then ? '
'The human and fallible should not arrogate a power
with which the divine and perfect alone can be safely
entrusted/
'What power?'
JANE BYEE 165
'That of saying of any strange, unsanctioned line of
action,—" Let it bo right." '
' " Let it be right " — the very words : you have pronounced
them/
1 May it be right then,1 1 said, as I rose, deeming it useless
to continue a discourse which was all darkness to mo ; and,
besides, sensible that the character of my interlocutor was
beyond my penetration ; at least, beyond its present reach ;
and feeling the uncertainty, the vague sense of insecurity,
which accompanies a conviction of ignorance.
' Where are you going ? '
* To put Ad6le to bed : it is past her bedtime.'
' You are afraid of me, because I talk like a Sphinx.'
1 Your language is enigmatical, sir : but though I am
bewildered, I am certainly not afraid/
' You are afraid — your self-love dreads a blunder.'
* In that sense I do feel apprehensive — I have no wish to
talk nonsense.'
1 If you did, it would be in such a grave, quiet manner, I
•should mistake it for sense. Do you never laugh, Miss Eyre ft
Don't trouble yourself to answer — I see, you laugh rarely ;
but you can laugh very merrily: believe me, you are not
naturally austere, any more than I am naturally vicious.
The Lowood constraint still clings to you somewhat; con-
trolling your features, muffling your voice, and restricting
your limbs ; and you fear in the presence of a man and a
brother— or father, or master, or what you will— to smile too
gaily, speak too freely, or move too quickly : but, in time, I
think you will learn to be natural with me, as I find it
impossible to be conventional with you ; and then your looks
and movements will have more vivacity and variety than
they dare offer now. I see at intervals the glance of a
curious sort of bird through the close-set bars of a cage ; a
vivid, restless, resolute captive is there ; were it but free, it
would soar cloud-high. You are still bent on going ? '
' It has struck nine, sir.'
' Never mind, — wait a minute : Ad61e is not ready to go to
166 JANE EYEE
bed yet. My position, Miss Eyre, with my back to the fire, and
my face to the room, favours observation. While talking to
you, I have also occasionally watched Ad&le ; (I have my own
reasons for thinking her a curious study, — reasons that I may,
nay that 1 shall, impart to you some day ;) she pulled out of
her box, about ten minutes ago, a little pink silk frock ; rap-
ture lit her face as she unfolded it; coquetry runs in her
blood, blends with her brains, and seasons the marrow of her
bones. " II faut que je 1'essaie," cried she ; " et & 1'instant
mtoe ! " and she rushed out of the room. She is now with
Sophie, undergoing a robing process : in a few minutes she
will re-enter ; and I know what I shall see, — a miniature of
Celine Varens, as she used to appear on the boards at the
rising of : but never mind that. However, my tenderest
feelings are about to receive a shock : such is my presenti-
ment ; stay now, to see whether it will be realised.'
Ere long Ad&le's little foot was heard tripping across the
hall. She entered, transformed as her guardian had pre-
dicted. A dress of rose-coloured satin, very short, and as
full in the skirt as it could be gathered, replaced the brown
frock she had previously worn ; a wreath of rosebuds circled
her forehead ; her feet were dressed in silk stockings and
small white satin sandals.
1 Est-ce que ma robe va bien ? ' cried she, bounding for-
wards ; ' et mes souliers ? et mes has ? Tenez, je croix que
je vais danser.'
And spreading out her dress, she chassSed across the
room; till, having reached Mr. Eochester, she wheeled
lightly round before him on tiptoe, then dropped on one
knee at his feet, exclaiming : —
* Monsieur, je vous remercie mille fois de votre bonte ' ;
then rising, she added, ' C'est comme cela que maman faisait,
n'est-ce pas, monsieur?'
' Pre-cise-ly ! ' was the answer ; ' and, " comme cela," she
charmed my English gold out of my British breeches pocket.
I have been green, too, Miss Eyre, — ay, grass green : not a
more vernal tint freshens you now than once freshened me.
JANE EYEB 167
My Spring is gone, however : but it has left me that French
floweret on my hands ; which, in some moods, I would fain
be rid of. Not valuing now the root whence it sprang ;
having found that it was of a sort which nothing but gold
dust could manure, I have but half a liking to the blossom :
especially when it looks so artificial as just now. I keep it
and rear it rather on the Eoman Catholic principle of expiating
numerous sins, great or small, by one good work. I'll explain
all this some day. Good-night.'
168 JANE EYKE
CHAPTER XV
MB. EOCHESTEE did, on a future occasion, explain it.
It was one afternoon, when he chanced to meet me and
Adele in the grounds ; and while she played with Pilot and
her shuttlecock, he asked me to walk up and down a long
beech avenue within sight of her.
lie then said that she was the daughter of a French opera-
dancer, Celine Varens, towards whom he had once cherished
what lie called a ' grande passion.' This passion Celine had
professed to return with even superior ardour. He thought
himself her idol ; ugly as he was : he believed, as he said,
that she preferred his ' taille d'athlete ' to the elegance of the
Apollo Bekidere.
1 And, Miss Eyre, so much was I flattered by this pre-
ference of the Gallic sylph for her British gnome, that I
installed her in an hotel ; gave her a complete establishment
of servants, a carriage, cashmeres, diamonds, dentelles, &c.
In short, I began the process of ruining myself in the received
style, like any other spoony. I had not, it seems, the
originality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction,
but trod the old track with stupid exactness not to deviate an
inch from the beaten centre. I had — as I deserved to have —
the fate of all other spoonies. Happening to call one evening
when C61ine did not expect me, I found her out ; but it was
a warm night, and I was tired with strolling through Paris,
so I sat down in her boudoir; happy to breathe the air
consecrated so lately by her presence. No, — I exaggerate ;
I never thought there was any consecrating virtue about her :
it was rather a sort of pastille perfume she had left, a scent
of musk and amber, than an odour of sanctity, I was just
JANE EYEE 169
beginning to stifle with the fumes of conservatory flowers
and sprinkled essences, when I bethought myself to open the
window and step out on to the balcony. It was moonlight
and gas-light besides, and very still and serene. The balcony
was furnished with a chair or two ; I sat down, took out a
cigar, — I will take one now, if you will excuse me.'
Here ensued a pause, filled up by the producing and
lighting of a cigar ; having placed it to his lips and breathed
a trail of Havannah incense on the freezing and sunless air,
he went on : —
' I hked bonbons too, in those days, Miss Eyre, and I was
croquant — overlook the barbarism — croquant chocolate com-
fits, and smoking alternately, watching meantime the
equipages that rolled along the fashionable streets towards
the neighbouring opera-house, when in an elegant close
carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses, and
distinctly seen in the brilliant city-night, I recognised the
" voiture " I had given Celine. She was returning : of course
my heart thumped with impatience against the iron rails I
leant upon. The carriage stopped, as I'had expected, at the
hotel door ; my flame (that is the very word for an opera
inamorata) alightod : though muffled in a cloak — an unne-
cessary encumbrance, by-the-byc, on so warm a June evening
— I knew her instantly by her little foot, seen peeping from
the skirt of her dress, as she skipped from the carriage-step.
Bending over the balcony, I was about to murmur, " Mon
ange" — in a tone, of course, which should be audible to
the ear of love alone — when a figure jumped fiom the
carriage after her ; cloaked also ; but that was a spurred
heel which had rung on the pavement, and that was a hatted
head which now passed under the arched porte-cochere of the
hotel.
' You never felt jealousy, did you, Miss Eyre ? Of course
not : I need not ask you : because you never felt love. You
have both sentiments yet to experience : your soul sleeps ;
the shock is yet to be given which shall waken it. You
think all existence lapses in as quiet a flow as that in which
170 JANE EYEB
your youth has hitherto slid away. Floating on with closed
eyes and muffled ears, you neither see the rocks bristling not
far off in the bed of the flood, nor hear the breakers boil at
their base. But I tell you — and you may mark my words —
you will come some day to a craggy pass of the channel,
where the whole of life's stream will be broken up into whirl
and tumult, foam and noise : either you will be dashed to
atoms on crag points, or lifted up and borne on by some
master wave into a calmer current — as I am now.
1 1 like this day : I like that sky of steel ; I like the stern-
ness and stillness of the world under this frost. I like
Thornfield : its antiquity ; its retirement ; its old crow-trees
and thorn-trees ; its grey facade, and lines of dark windows
reflecting that metal welkin : and yet how long have I
abhorred the very thought of it ; shunned it like a great plague-
house ! How I do still abhor '
He ground his teeth and was silent : he arrested his step
and struck his boot against the hard ground. Some hated
thought seemed to have him in its grip, and to hold him so
tightly that he could not advance.
We were ascending the avenue when he thus paused ;
the hall was before us. Lifting his eye to its battlements, he
cast over them a glare such as I never saw before or since.
Pain, shame, ire — impatience, disgust, detestation — seemed
momentarily to hold a quivering conflict in the large pupil
dilating under his ebon eyebrow. Wild was the wrestle which
should be paramount ; but another feeling rose and tri-
umphed : something hard and cynical ; self-willed and
resolute : it settled his passion and petrified his countenance :
he went on : — ' During the moment I was silent, Miss Eyre,
I was arranging a point with my destiny. She stood there,
by that beech-trunk — a hag like one of those who appeared
to " Macbeth " on the heath of Forres. " You like Thorn-
field ? " she said, lifting her finger ; and then she wrote in the
air a memento, which ran in lurid hieroglyphics all along
the house-front, between the upper and lower row of windows.
" Like it if you can ! " " Like it if you dare ! "
JANE EYRE 171
1 " I will like it," said I. " I dare like it ; " and (he sub-
joined moodily) I will keep my word : I will break obstacles
to happiness, to goodness — yes, goodness ; I wish to be a
better man than I have been ; than I am — as Job's leviathan
broke the spear, the dart and the habergeon, hindrances
which others count as iron and brass I will esteem but straw
and rotten wood.'
Adele here ran before him with her shuttlecock. * Away ! '
he cried harshly ; ' keep at a distance, child ; or go in to
Sophie I ' Continuing then to pursue his walk in silence, I
ventured to recall him to the point whence he had abruptly
diverged : — ' Did you leave the balcony, sir/ I asked, ' when
Mdlle. Varens entered ? '
I almost expected a rebuff for this hardly well-timed
question : but, on the contrary, waking out of his scowling
abstraction, he turned his eyes towards me, and the shade
seemed to clear off his brow. * Oh, I had forgotten Celine 1
Well, to resume. When I saw my charmer thus come in
accompanied by a cavalier, I seemed to hear a hiss, and the
green snake of jealousy, rising on undulating coils from the
moonlit balcony, glided within my waistcoat, and ate its
way in two minutes to my heart's core. Strange ! ' he
exclaimed, suddenly starting again from the point. ' Strange
that I should choose you for the confidant of all this, young
lady : passing strange that you should listen to me quietly,
as if it were the most usual thing in the world for a man like
me to tell stories of his opera-mistresses to a quaint, inexperi-
enced girl like you ! But the last singularity explains the
first, as I intimated once before : you, with your gravity,
considerateness, and caution, were made to be the recipient
of secrets. Besides, I know what sort of a mind I have
placed in communication with my own : I know it is one not
liable to take infection: it is a peculiar mind; it is an
unique one. Happily I do not mean to harm it : but, if I
did, it would not take harm from me. The more you and
I converse, the better ; for while I cannot blight you, you
may refresh me.' After this digression, he proceeded : — ' I
172 JANE EYEE
remained in the balcony. " They will come to her boudoir,
no doubt," thought I : " let me prepare an ambush." So
putting my hand in through the open window, I drew the
curtain over it, leaving only an opening through which I
could take observations ; then I closed the casement, all but
a chink just wide enough to furnish an outlet to lovers'
whispered vows : then I stole back to my chair ; and as I
resumed it the pair came in. My eye was quickly at the
aperture. C&ine's chambermaid entered, lit a lamp, left it
on the table, and withdrew. The couple were thus revealed
to me clearly: both removed their cloaks, and there was
"the Varens" shining in satin and jewels, — my gifts of
course, — and there was her companion in an officer's uniform ;
and I knew him for a young rou6 of a vicomte — a brainless
and vicious youth whom I had sometimes met in society,
and had never thought of hating because I despised him so
absolutely. On recognising him, the fang of the snake,
jealousy, was instantly broken ; because at the same
moment my love for C6hne sank under an extinguisher. A
woman who could betray me for such a lival was not worth
contending for: she deserved only scorn; less, however,
than I, who had been her dupe.
' They began to talk ; their conversation eased me com-
pletely : frivolous, mercenary, heartless, and senseless, it
was rather calculated to weary than enrage a listener.
A card of mine lay on the table ; this being perceived, brought
my name under discussion. Neither of Ihem possessed
energy or wit to belabour me soundly ; but they insulted me
as coarsely as they could in their little way : especially C61ine ;
who even waxed rather biilliant on my personal defects —
deformities she termed them. Now it had been her custom
to launch out into fervent admiration of what she called my
" beaut6 male " : wherein she differed diametrically from you,
who told me point-blank, at the second interview, that you
did not think me handsome. The contrast struck me at the
time, and '
Ad&le here came running up again.
JANE EYEE 173
' Monsieur, John has just been to say that your agent has
called and wishes to see you.'
' Ah 1 in that case I must abiidge. Opening the window,
I walked in upon them ; liberated Celine from my protection ;
gave her notice to vacate her hotel ; offered her a purse for
immediate exigencies ; disregarded screams, hysterics, prayers,
protestations, convulsions; made an appointment with the
vicomte for a meeting at the Bois de Boulogne. Next
morning I had the pleasure of encountering him ; left a
bullet in one of his poor etiolated arms, feeble as the wing of
a chicken in the pip, and then thought I had done with the
whole crew. But unluckily the Varens, six months before,
had given me this filette Adcle ; who she affirmed was my
daughter; aii'l perhaps she may be, though I see no
proofs of such gum paternity written in her countenance
Pilot is more like me than she. Some years after I had
broken with the mother she abandoned her child and ran
away to Italy with a musician or singer. I acknowledged
no natural claim on Adele's part to be supported by me ; nor
do I now acknowledge any, for I am not her father ; but1
hearing that she was quite destitute, I e'en took the poor
thing out of the slime and mud of Paris, and transplanted it
here, to grow up clean in the wholesome soil of an English
country garden. Mrs. Fairfax found you to train it; but
now you know that it is the illegitimate offspring of a French
opera-girl, you will perhaps think differently of your post
and prot6g6e. You will be coming to me some day with
notice that you have found another place — that you beg me
to look out for a new governess, &c.— eh ? '
' No. Adele is not answerable for either her mother's
faults or yours. I have a regard for her, and now that I
know she is, in a sense, parentless — forsaken by her mother
and disowned by you, sir — I shall cling closer to her than
before. How could I possibly prefer the spoilt pet of a
wealthy family, who would hate her governess as a nuisance,
to a lonely little orphan, who leans towards her as a
friend?1
174 JANE EYEE
' Oh, that is the light in which you view it 1 Well, I
must go in now ; and you too : it darkens.'
But I stayed out a few minutes longer with Ad61e and
Pilot — ran a race with her, and played a game of battledore
and shuttlecock. When we went in, and I had removed her
bonnet and coat, I took her on my knee ; kept her there an
hour, allowing her to prattle as she liked, not rebuking even
some little freedoms and trivialities into which she was apt
to stray when much noticed ; and which betrayed in her a
superficiality of character, inherited probably from her
mother, hardly congenial to an English mind. Still she had
her merits ; and I was disposed to appreciate all that was
good in her to the utmost. I sought in her countenance
and features a likeness to Mr. Kochester, but found none —
no trait, no turn of expression announced relationship. It
was a pity : if she could but have been proved to resemble
him, he would have thought more of her.
It was not till after I had withdrawn to my own
chamber for the night that I steadily reviewed the tale
Mr. Eochester had told me. As he had said, there was
probably nothing at all extraordinary in the substance of the
narrative itself — a wealthy Englishman's passion for a
French dancer, and her treachery to him, were everyday
matters enough, no doubt, in society — but there was some-
thing decidedly strange in the paroxysm of emotion which
had suddenly seized him, when he was in the act of
expressing the present contentment of his mood, and his
newly-revived pleasure in the old hall and its environs. I
meditated wonderingly on this incident : but gradually
quitting it, as I found it for the present inexplicable, I turned
to the consideration of my master's manner to myself. The
confidence he had thought fit to repose in me seemed a
tribute to my discretion. I regarded and accepted it as
such. His deportment had now for some weeks been more
uniform towards me than at the first. I never seemed in
his way ; he did not take fits of chilling hauteur ; when he
met me unexpectedly, the encounter seemed welcome — he
JANE EYEB 175
had always a word and sometimes a smile for me ; when
summoned by formal invitation to his presence, I was
honoured by a cordiality of reception that made me feel I
really possessed the power to amuse him, and that these
evening conferences were sought as much for his pleasure as
for my benefit.
I, indeed, talked comparatively little; but I heard him
talk with relish. It was his nature to be communicative —
he liked to open to a mind unacquainted with the world
glimpses of its scenes and ways (I do not mean its corrupt
scenes and wicked ways, but such as derived their interest
from the great scale on which they were acted, the strange
novelty by which they were characterised) ; and I had a keen
delight in receiving the new ideas he offered, in imagining
the new pictures he portrayed, and following him in thought
through the new regions he disclosed, never startled or
troubled by one noxious allusion.
The ease of his manner freed me from painful restraint ;
the friendly frankness, as correct as cordial, with which he
treated me, drew me to him. I felt at times as if he were
my relation, rather than my master : yet he was imperious
sometimes still ; but I did not mind that ; I saw it was his
way. So happy, so gratified did I become with this new
interest added to life, that I ceased to pine after kindred.
My thin crescent-destiny seemed to enlarge ; the blanks of
existence were filled up; my bodily health improved; I
gathered flesh and strength.
And was Mr. Bochester now ugly in my eyes? No,
reader. Gratitude, and many associations, all pleasurable
and genial, made his face the object I best liked to see ; his
presence in a room was more cheering than the brightest
fire. Yet I had not forgotten his faults — indeed, I could not,
for he brought them frequently before me. He was proud,
sardonic, harsh to inferiority of every description. In my
secret soul I knew that his great kindness to me was balanced
by unjust severity to many others. He was moody, too—-
unaccountably so. I more than once, when sent for to read
176 JANE EYEE
to him, found him sitting in his library alone, with his head
bent on his folded arms ; and, when he looked up, a morose,
almost a malignant scowl, blackened his features. But I
believed that his moodiness, his harshness, and his former
faults of morality (I say former, for now he seemed corrected
of them) had their source in some cruel cross of fate. I
believed he was naturally a man of better tendencies, higher
principles, and purer tastes than such as circumstances had
developed, education instilled, or destiny encouraged. I
thought there were excellent materials in him ; though for
the present they hung together somewhat spoiled and
tangled. I cannot deny that I grieved for his grief, whatever
that was, and would have given much to assuage it.
Though I had now extinguished my candle and was laid
down in bed, I could not sleep for thinking of his look when
he paused in the avenue, and told how his destiny had risen
up before him, and dared him to be happy at Thornfield.
4 Why not ? ' I asked myself. ' What alienates him from
the house ? Will he leave it again soon ? Mrs. Fairfax said
he seldom stayed here longer than a fortnight at a time, and
he has now been resident eight weeks. If he does go, the
change will be doleful. Suppose he should be absent spring,
summer, and autumn : how joyless sunshine and fine days
will seem/
I hardly know whether I had slept or not after this
musing; at any rate, I started wide awake on hearing a
vague murmur, peculiar and lugubrious, which sounded, I
thought, just above me. I wished I had kept my candle
burning: the night was drearily dark; my spirits were
depressed. I rose and sat up in bed, listening. The sound
was hushed.
I tried again to sleep ; but my heart beat anxiously : my
inward tranquillity was broken. The clock, far down in the
hall, struck two. Just then it seemed my chamber-door was
touched ; as if fingers had swept the panels in groping a way
along the dark gallery outside. 1 said, 'Who is there?'
Nothing answered. I was chilled with fear.
JANE EYEE 177
All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot : who,
when the kitchen-door chanced to be left open, not unfre-
quently found his way up to the threshold of Mr. Eochester's
chamber : I had seen him lying there myself, in the mornings.
The idea calmed me somewhat : I lay down. Silence com-
poses the nerves ; and as* an unbroken hush now reigned
again through the whole house, I began to feel the return of
slumber. But it was not fated that I should sleep that
night. A dream had scarcely approached my ear, when it
fled affrighted, scared by a marrow-freezing incident enough.
This was a demoniac laugh — low, suppressed, and deep —
uttered, as it seemed, at the very key-hole of iny chamber-
door. The head of my bed was near the door, and I thought
at first the goblin-laugher stood at iny bedside — or rather,
crouched by my pillow : but 1 rose, looked round, and could
see nothing ; while, as I still gazed, the unnatural sound
was reiterated : and I knew it came from behind the panels.
My first impulse was to rise and fasten the bolt ; my next
again, to cry out, ' Who is there ? '
Something gurgled and moaned. Ere long, steps
retreated up the gallery towards the third story staircase : a
door had lately been made to shut in that staircase ; 1 heard
it open and close, and all was still.
' Was that Grace Poole ? and is she possessed with a
devil?' thought I. Impossible now to remain longer by
myself : I must go to Mrs. Fairfax. I hurried on my frock
and a shawl ; I withdrew the bolt, and opened the door with
a trembling hand. There was a candle burning just outside,
left on the matting in the gallery. I was surprised at this
circumstance : but still more was I amazed to perceive
the air quite dim, as if filled with smoke ; and, while look-
ing to the right hand and left, to find whence these blue
wreaths issued, I became further aware of a strong smell of
burning.
Something creaked : it was a door ajar ; and that door
was Mi:. Eochester's, and the smoke rushed in a cloud from
thence. I thought no more of Mrs. Fairfax ; I thought no
178 JANE EYEE
more of Grace Poole or the laugh: in an instant, I was
within the chamber. Tongues of flame darted round the
bed : the curtains were on fire. In the midst of blaze and
vapour, Mr. Eochester lay stretched motionless, in deep
sleep.
' Wake 1 wake ! ' I cried — I * shook him, but he only
murmured and turned : the smoke had stupefied him. Not
a moment could be lost : the very sheets were kindling. I
rushed to his basin and ewer ; fortunately, one was wide
and the other deep, and both were filled with water. I
heaved them up, deluged the bed and its occupant, flew back
to my own room, brought my own water-jug, baptized the
couch afresh, and, by God's aid, succeeded in extinguishing
the flames which were devouring it.
The hiss of the quenched element, the breakage of a
pitcher which I flung from my hand when I had emptied it,
and, above all, the splash of the shower-bath I had liberally
bestowed, roused Mr. Eochester at last. Though it was
now dark, I knew he was awake ; because I heard him
fulminating strange anathemas at finding himself lying in a
pool of water.
' Is there a flood ? ' he cried.
' No, sir/ I answered ; ' but there has been a fire : get up,
do, you are quenched now ; I will fetch you a candle.'
'In the name of all the elves in Christendom, is that
Jane Eyre ? ' he demanded. * What have you done with me,
witch, sorceress ? Who is in the room beside you ? Have
you plotted to drown me ? '
1 1 will fetch you a candle, sir ; and, in Heaven's name, get
up. Somebody has plotted something : you cannot too soon
find out who and what it is/
'There— I am up now; but at your peril you fetch a
candle yet : wait two minutes till I get into some dry gar-
ments, if any dry there be — yes, here is my dressing-gown.
Now run ! '
I did run ; I brought the candle which still remained in
the gallery. He took it from my hand, held it up, and
JANE EYEE 179
surveyed the bed, all blackened and scorched, the sheets
drenched, the carpet round swimming in water.
1 What is it ? and who did it ? f he asked.
I briefly related to him what had transpired : the strange
laugh I had heard in the gallery : the step ascending to the
third story ; the smoke, — the smell of fire which had con-
ducted me to his room ; in what state I had found matters
there, and how I had deluged him with all the water I could
lay hands on.
He listened very gravely ; his face, as I went on, ex-
pressed more concern than astonishment ; he did not im-
mediately speak when I had concluded.
* Shall I call Mrs. Fairfax ? ' I asked.
' Mrs. Fairfax1? No : what the deuce would you call her
for ? What can she do ? Let her sleep unmolested.'
' Then I will fetch Leah, and wake John and his wife.'
' Not at all : just be still. You have a shawl on ? If you
are not warm enough, you may take my cloak yonder ; wrap
it about you, and sit down in the arm-chair: there, — I will
put it on. Now place your feet on the stool, to keep them
out of the wet. I am going to leave you a few minutes. I
shall take the candle. Eemain where you are till I return :
be as still as a mouse. I must pay a visit to the third story.
Don't move, remember, or call any one.'
He went : I watched the light withdraw. He passed up
the gallery very softly, unclosed the staircase door with as
little noise as possible, shut it after him, and the last ray
vanished. I was left in total darkness. I listened for some
noise, but heard nothing, A very long time elapsed. I
grew weary : it was cold, in spite of the cloak ; and then I
did not see the use of staying, as I was not to rouse the
house. I was on the point of risking Mr. Eochester's dis-
pleasure, by disobeying his orders, when the light once more
gleamed dimly on the gallery-wall, and I ^eard his unshod
feet tread the matting. ' I hope it is he,1 thought I, ' and
not something worse/
He re-entered, pale and very gloomy. ' I have found it
180 JANE EYRE
all out,1 said he, setting his candle down on the wash-stand ;
' it is as I thought.'
'How, sir?7
He made no reply, but stood with his arms folded, look-
ing on the ground. At the end of a few minutes, he inquired
in rather a peculiar tone : — ' I forget whether you said you
saw anything when you opened your chamber door/
' No, sir, only the candlestick on the ground/
'But you heard an odd laugh? You have heard that
laugh before, I should think, or something like it ? '
' Yes, sir : there is a woman who sews here, called Grace
Poole — she laughs in that way. She is a singular person/
' Just so. Grace Poole — you have guessed it. She is, as
you say, singular, — very. Well, I shall reflect on the sulvjpct.
Meantime, I am glad that you are the only person, besides
myself, acquainted with the precise details of to-night's inci-
dent. You are no talking fool : say nothing about it. I will
account for this state of affairs (pointing to the bed) : and
now return to your own room. I shall do very well on the
sofa in the library for the rest of the night. It is near
four : — in two hours the servants will be up/
1 Good-night, then, sir,1 said I, departing.
He seemed surprised — very inconsistently so, as he had
just told me to go.
' What ! ' he exclaimed, ' are you quitting me already :
and in that way ? '
' You said I might go, sir/
' But not without taking leave ; not without a word or two
of acknowledgment and good will : not, in short, in that brief,
dry fashion. Why, you have saved my life ! — snatched me
from a horrible and excruciating death ! — and you walk past
me as if we were mutual strangers ! At least shake hands/
He held out his hand ; I gave him mine : he took it first
in one, then in both his own.
' You* have saved my life : I have a pleasure in owing you
so immense a debt. I cannot say more. Nothing else that
has being would have been tolerable to me in the character
JANE EYEE 181
of creditor for such an obligation : but you : it is different ;—
I feel your benefits no burden, Jane.'
He paused ; gazed at me : words almost visible trembled
on his lips, — but his voice was checked.
' Good night again, sir. There is no debt, benefit, burden,
obligation, in the case.'
' I kuew,' he continued, * you would do me good in some
way, at some time , - -I siiw it in your eyes when I first beheld
you : their expression and smile did not — (again he stopped) —
did not (he proceeded hastily) strike delight to my very inmost
heart so for nothing. People talk of natural sympathies ; I
have heard of good genii — there are grains ot truth in the
wildest fable. My cherished preserver, good night ! '
Strange energy was in his voice, strange fire in his look.
I I am glad I happened to be awake/ I said ; and then I
was going.
' What ! you will go ? '
I 1 am cold, sir.'
c Cold? Yes^r— and standing in a pool ! Go, then, Jane ;
go 1 ' But he still retained my hand, and I could not free
it. I bethought myself of an expedient.
' I think I hoar Mrs. Fairfax move, sir,' said I.
' Well, leave me.' He relaxed his fingers, and I was
gone.
I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep. Till
morning dawned I was tossed on a buoyant but unquiet sea,
where billows of trouble rolled under surges of joy. 1 thought
sometimes I saw beyond its wild waters a shore, sweet as the
hills of Beulah ; and now and then a freshening gale wakened
by hope, bore my spirit triumphantly towards the bourne ;
but I could not reach it, even in fancy, — a counteracting
breeze blew off land, and continually drove me back. Sense
would resist delirium, judgment would warn passion. Too
feverish to rest, I rose as soon as day dawned.
182 JANE EYKE
CHAPTER XVI
I BOTH wished and feared to see Mr. Rochester on the day
which followed this sleepless night. I wanted to hoar his
voice again, yet feared to meet his eye. During the early
part of the morning, I momentarily expected his coming.
He was not in the frequent habit of entering the school-
room ; hut he did step in for a few minutes sometimes, and
I had the impression that he was sure to visit it that day.
But the morning passed just as usual. Nothing happened
to interrupt the quiet course of Ad&le's studies ; only, soon
after breakfast, I heard some bustle in the neighbourhood of
Mr. Rochester's chamber, Mrs. Fairfax's voice, and Leah's,
and the cook's — that is, John's wife — and even John's own
gruff tones. There were exclamations of, ' What a mercy
master was not burnt in his bed 1 f ' It is always dangerous
to keep a candle lit at night/ ' How providential that he
had presence of mind to think of the water-jug ! ' 'I
wonder he waked nobody ! ' ' It is to be hoped he will not
take cold with sleeping on the library sofa,' &c.
To much confabulation succeeded a sound of scrubbing
and setting to-rights ; and when I passed the room, in going
downstairs to dinner, I saw through the open door that all
was again restored to complete order — only the bed was
stripped of its hangings. Leah stood up in the window-seat,
rubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke. I was
about to address her, for I wished to know what account
had been given of' the affair ; but, on advancing, I saw a
second person in the chamber— a woman sitting on a chair
by the bedside, and sewing rings to new curtains. That
woman was no other than Grace Poole.
JANE BYBE 183
There she sat, staid and taciturn-looking, as usual, in her
brown stuff gown, her check apron, white handkerchief, and
cap. She was intent on her work, in which her whole
thoughts seemed absorbed. On her hard forehead, and in her
commonplace features, was nothing either of the paleness or
desperation one would have expected to see marking the
countenance of a woman who had attempted murder, and
whose intended victim had followed her last night to her lair,
and (as I believed) charged her with the crime she wished
to perpetrate. I was amazed — confounded. She looked up,
while I still gazed at her : no start, no increase or failure of
colour betrayed emotion, consciousness of guilt, or fear of
detection. She said, ' Good morning, Miss/ in her usual
phlegmatic and brief manner ; and taking up another ring
and more tape, went on with her sewing.
' I will put her to some test/ thought I. ' Such absolute
impenetrability is past comprehension.'
1 Good morning, Grace,' I said. ' Has anything happened
here ? I thought I heard the servants all talking together a
while ago/
1 Only master had been reading in his bed last night.
He fell asleep with his candle lit, and the curtains got on
fire ; but, fortunately, he awoke before the bed-clothes or the
wood-work caught, and contrived to quench the flame with
the water in the ewer.1
' A strange affair ! f I said, in i low voice ; then, looking
at her fixedly, ' Did Mr. Rochester wake nobody ? Did no
one hear him move ? '
She again raised her eyes to me ; and this time there was
something of consciousness in their expression. She seemed
to examine me warily ; then she answered, ' The servants
sleep so far off, you know, Miss, they would not be likely to
hear. Mrs. Fairfax's room and yours are the nearest to
master's ; but Mrs. Fairfax said she heard nothing : when
people get elderly, they often sleep heavy.' She paused, and
then added, with a sort of assumed indifference, but still in
a marked and significant tone, ' But you are young, Miss,
184 JANE EYEE
and I should say a light sleeper. Perhaps you may have
heard a noise ? '
' I did/ said I, dropping my voice, so that Leah, who was
still polishing the panes, could not hear me, ' and at first I
thought it was Pilot ; but Pilot cannot laugh, and I am certain
I heard a laugh, and a strange one.'
She took a new needleful of thread, waxed it carefully,
threaded her needle with a steady hand, and then observed,
with perfect composure,-—' It is hardly likely master would
laugh, I should think, Miss, when he was in such danger:
you must have been dreaming.'
1 1 was not dreaming,' I said, with some warmth, for her
brazen coolness provoked me. Again she looked at me, and
with the same scrutinising and conscious eye.
I Have you told master that you heard a laugh ? ' she
inquired.
I 1 have not had the opportunity of speaking to him this
morning/
' You did not think of opening your door and looking out
into the gallery ? ' she further asked.
She appeared to be cross-questioning me — attempting to
draw from me information unawares. The idea struck me
that if she discovered I knew or suspected her guilt, she
would be playing off some of her malignant pranks on me.
I thought it advisable to be on my guard.
' On the contrary/ said I, ' I bolted my door.'
1 Then you are not in the habit of bolting your door every
night before you get into bed ? '
1 Fiend 1 she wants to know my habits, that she may lay
her plans accordingly ! ' Indignation again prevailed over
prudence ; I replied sharply, ' Hitherto I have often omitted
to fasten the bolt : I did not think it necessary. I was not
aware any danger or annoyance was to be dreaded at
Thornfield Hall ; but in future ' (and I laid marked stress on
the words) ''I shall take good care to make all secure before
I venture to lie down.1
'It will be wise so to do/ was her answer. 'This
JANE EYEE 185
neighbourhood is as quiet as any I know, and I never heard
of the hall being attempted by robbers since it was a house,
though there are hundreds of pounds' worth of plate in the
plate-closet, as is well known. And you see, for such a large
house, there are very few servants, because master has never
lived here much, and when he does come, being a bachelor,
he needs little waiting on ; but I always think it best to err
on the safe side : a door is soon fastened, and it is as well to
have a drawn bolt between one and any mischief that may
be about. A deal of people, Miss, are for trusting all to
Providence ; but- 1 say Providence will not dispense with the
means, though He often blesses them when they are used
discreetly.1 And here she closed her harangue : a long one
for her, and uttered with the demureness of a Quakeress.
I sMll stood absolutely dumfoundered at what appeared
to me her miraculous self-possession and most inscrutable
hypocrisy, when the cook entered.
1 Mrs. Poole,' said she, addressing Grace, ' the servants'
dinner will soon be ready. Will you come down ? '
' No. Just put my pint of porter and bit of pudding on
a tray, and I'll carry it upstairs.'
1 You'll have some meat ? '
1 Jusi a morsel, and a taste of cheese, that's all.'
' And the sago ? '
' Never mind it at present. I shall be coming down before
tea-time. I'll make it myself.1
The cook here turned to me, saying that Mrs. Fairfax was
waiting for me : so I departed.
I hardly heard Mrs. Fairfax's account of the curtain
conflagration during dinner, so much was I occupied in
puzzling my brains over the enigmatical character of Grace
Poole, and still more in pondering the problem of her position
at Thornfield ; in questioning why she had not been given
into custody that morning, or, at the very least, dismissed
from her master's service. He had almost as much as declared
his conviction of her criminality last night : what mysterious
cause withheld him from accusing her ? Why had he enjoined
186 JANE EYES
me, too, to secrecy ? It was strange — a bold, vindictive, and
haughty gentleman seemed somehow in the power of one of
the meanest of his dependants ; so much in her power, that
even when she lifted her hand against his life, he dared not
openly charge her with the attempt, much less punish her
for it.
Had Grace been young and handsome, I should have been
tempted to think that tenderer feelings than prudence or
fear influenced Mr. Eochester in her behalf; but, hard-
favoured and matronly as she was, the idea could not be
admitted. ' Yet,' I reflected, ' she has been young once ; her
youth would be contemporary with her master's. Mrs.
Fairfax told me once she had lived here many years. I
don't think she can ever have been pretty ; but, for aught I
know, she may possess originality and strength of character
to compensate for the want of personal advantages. Mr.
Eochester is an amateur of the decided and eccentric — Grace
is eccentric at least. What if a former caprice (a freak very
possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his) has
delivered him into her power, and she now exercises over his
actions a secret influence, the result of his own indiscretion,
which he cannot shake otf, and dare not disregard ? ' But,
having reached this point of conjecture, Mrs. Poole's square,
flat figure, and uncomely, dry, even coarse face, recurred so
distinctly to my mind's eye, that I thought, ' No ; impossible !
my supposition cannot be correct. Yet,' suggested the secret
voice which talks to us in our own hearts, ' you are not
beautiful either, and perhaps Mr. Eochester approves you —
at any rate, you have often felt as if he did ; and last night
— remember his words; remember his look; remember his
voice ! '
I well remembered all — language, glance, and tone
seemed at the moment vividly renewed. I was now in
the schoolroom. Adele was drawing. I bent over her
and directed her pencil. She looked up with a sort of
start.
' Qu'avez-vous, mademoiselle?' said she; 'Vos doigts
JANE EYBE 187
tremblent comme la feuille, et vos joues sont rouges : mais,
rouges comme des cerises i '
' I am hot, Addle, with stooping ! ' She went on sketch-
ing, I went on thinking.
I hastened to drive from my mind the hateful notion I
had been conceiving respecting Grace Poole : it disgusted
me. I compared myself with her, and found we were
different. Bessie Leaven had said I was quite a lady ; and
she spoke truth : I was a lady. And now I looked much
better than I did when Bessie saw me : I had more colour
and more flesh; more life, more vivacity; because I had
brighter hopes and keener enjoyments.
'Evening approaches,' said I, as I looked towards the -
window. ' J have never heard Mr. Bochester's voice or step
in the house to-day ; but surely I shall see him before night :
I feared the meeting in the morning: now I desire it,
because expectation has been so long baffled that it is
grown impatient/
When dusk actually closed, and when Addle left me to
go and play in the nursery with Sophie, I did most keenly
desire it. I listened for the bell to ring below ; I listened
for Leah coming up with a message ; I fancied sometimes I
heard Mr. Bocbester's own tread, and I turned to the door,
expecting it to open and admit him. The door remained
shut : darkness only came in through the window. Still it
was not late : he often sent for me at seven and eight o'clock,
and it was yet but six. Surely I should not be wholly
disappointed to-night, when I had so many things to say to
him I I wanted again to introduce the subject of Grace
Poole, and to hear what he would answer ; I wanted to ask
him plainly if he really believed it was she who had made
last night's hideous attempt ; and if so, why he kept her
wickedness a secret. It little mattered whether my curiosity
irritated him ; I knew the pleasure of vexing and soothing
him by turns ; it was one I chiefly delighted in, and a sure
instinct always prevented me from going too far: beyond
bhe verge of provocation I never ventured; on the extreme
188 JANE EYRE
brink I liked well to try my skill. Retaining every minute
form of respect, every propriety of my station, I could still
meet him in argument without fear or uneasy restraint : this
suited both him and me.
A tread creaked on the stairs at last; Leah made her
appearance, but it was only to intimate that tea was ready
in Mrs. Fairfax's room. Thither I repaired, glad at least to
go downstairs, for that brought me, I imagined, nearer to
Mr. Rochester's presence.
' You must want your tea/ said the good lady, as I joined
her, 'you ate so little at dinner. I am afraid/ she con-
tinued, 'you are not well to-day, you look flushed and
feverish/
1 Oh, quite well ! I never felt better/
1 Then you must prove it by evincing a good appetite ;
will you fill the tea-pot while I knit off this needle ? '
Having completed her task, she rose to draw down the
blind which she had hitherto kept up, by way, I suppose, of
making the most of daylight : though dusk was now fast
deepening into total obscurity.
1 It is fair to-night/ said she, as she looked through the
panes, 'though not starlight; Mr. Rochester has, on the
whole, had a favourable day for his journey/
' Journey ! — Is Mr. Rochester gone anywhere ? I did
not know he was out/
1 Oh, he set off the moment he had breakfasted ! He is
gone to the Leas, Mr. Eshton's place, ten miles on the other
side Millcote ; I believe there is quite a party assembled
there — Lord Ingram, Sir George Lynn, Colonel Dent, and
others/
4 Do you expect him back to-night ? '
' No — nor to-morrow either ; I should think he is very
likely to stay a week or more. When these fine, fashionable
people get together, they are so surrounded by elegance and
gaiety, so well provided with all that can please and entertain,
they are in no hurry to separate. Gentlemen, especially, are
often in request on such occasions ; and Mr. Rochester is so
JANE EYEE 189
talented and so lively in society, that I believe he is a general
favourite— the ladies are very fond of him — though you
would not think his appearance calculated to recommend him
particularly in their eyes ; but I suppose his acquirements
and abilities, perhaps his wealth and good blood, make
amends for any little fault of look/
' Are there ladies at the Leas ? '
1 There are Mrs. Eshton and her three daughters — very
elegant young ladies, indeed ; and there are the Honourable
Blanche and Mary Ingram — most beautiful women, I sup-
pose : indeed, I have seen Blanche, six or seven years since,
when she was a girl of eighteen. She came here to a Christ-
mas ball and party Mr. Eochester gave. You should have
seen the dining-room that day — how richly it was decorated,
how brilliantly lib up ! I should think there were fifty ladies
and gentlemen present — all of the first county families ; and
Miss Ingram was considered the belle of the evening.'
1 You saw her, you say, Mrs. Fairfax : what was she
like?'
1 Yes, I saw- her. The dining-room doors were thrown
open, and, as it was Christmas-time, the servants were
allowed to assemble in the hall, to hear some of the ladies
sing and play. Mr. Eochester would have me to come in,
and I sat down in a quiet corner and watched them. I
never saw a more splendid scene : the ladies were magnifi-
cently dressed ; most of them — at least most of the younger
ones — looked handsome, but Miss Ingram was certainly the
queen/
1 And what was she like ? '
' Tall, fine bust, sloping shoulders, long, graceful neck ;
olive complexion, dark and clear; noble features; eyes
rather like Mr. Eochester's, large and black, and as brilliant
as her jewels. And then she had such a fine head of hair,
raven-black, and so becomingly arranged ; a crown of thick
plaits behind, and in front the longest, the glossiest curls I
ever saw. She was dressed in pure white, an amber-coloured!
scarf was passed over her shoulder and across her breast, tied
190 JANE BYEB
at the side, and descending in long, fringed ends below her
knee. She wore an amber-coloured flower, too, in her hair :
it contrasted well with the jetty mass of her curls.'
1 She was greatly admired, of course ? '
' Yes, indeed, and not only for her beauty, but for her
accomplishments. She was one of the ladies who sang ; a
gentleman accompanied her on the piano. She and Mr.
Bochester sang a duet.'
' Mr. Bochester? I was not aware he could sing.1
' Oh ! he has a fine bass voice, and an excellent taste for
music.'
' And Miss Ingram, what sort of a voice had she ? '
' A very rich and powerful one— she sang delightfully —
it was a treat to listen to her ; and she played afterwards.
I am no judge of music, but Mr. Bochester is, and I heard
him say her execution was remarkably good/
' And this beautiful and accomplished lady is not yet
married?'
1 It appears not : I fancy neither she nor her sister have
very large fortunes. Old Lord Ingram's estates were chiefly
entailed, and the eldest son came in for everything almost.'
' But I wonder no wealthy nobleman or gentleman has
taken a fancy to her : Mr. Bochester, for instance. He is
rich, is he not ? '
' Oh ! yes. But you see there is a considerable difference
in age : Mr. Bochester is near forty ; she is but twenty-five.'
1 What of that ? More unequal matches are made every
day.'
1 True : yet T should scarcely fancy Mr. Bochester would
entertain an idea of the sort. But you eat nothing: you
have scarcely tasted since you began tea.'
' No : I am too thirsty to eat. Will you let me have
another cup ? '
I was about again to revert to the probability of a union
between Mr. Bochester and the beautiful Blanche ; but Ad&le
came in, and the conversation was turned into another
channel.
JANE EYEE 191
When once more alone, I reviewed the information I
had got; looked into my heart, examined its thoughts
and feelings, and endeavoured to bring back with a strict
hand such as had been straying through imagination's
boundless and trackless waste, into the safe fold of common
sense.
Arraigned at my own bar, Memory having given her
evidence of the hopes, wishes, sentiments I had been cherish-
ing since last night — of the general state of mind in which I
had indulged for nearly a fortnight past ; Keason having come
forward and told in her own quiet way, a plain, unvarnished
tale, showing how I had rejected the real, and rabidly
devoured the ideal ; — T pronounced judgment to this effect : —
That a greater fool than June Eyre had never breathed the
breath of life : that a more fantastic idiot had never surfeited
herself on sweet lies, and swallowed poison as if it were
nectar.
1 You,' 1 said, ' a favourite with Mr. Eochester ? You
gifted with the power of pleasing him ? You of importance
to him in any way? Go I your folly sickens me. And you
have derived pleasure from occasional tokens of preference —
equivocal tokens, shown by a gentleman of family, and a
man of the world, to a dependant and a novice. How dared
you ? Poor stupid dupe ! — Could not even self-interest make
you wiser ? You repeated to yourself this morning the brief
scene of last night ? — Cover your face and be ashamed !
He said something in praise of your eyes, did lie ? Blind
puppy ! Open their bleared lids and look on your own
accursed senselessness 1 It does good to no woman to be
flattered by her superior, who cannot possibly intend to
many her ; and it is madness in all women to let a secret
love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown,
must devour the life that feeds it ; and, if discovered and
responded to, must lead, ignis-fatuus-like, into miry wilds,
whence there is no extrication.
* Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence : to-morrow,
place the glass before you, and draw in chalk your own
H2
192 JANE EYBE
picture, faithfully; without softening one defect: omit no
harsh line, smooth away no displeasing irregularity ; write
under it, " Portrait of a Governess, disconnected, poor, and
plain."
' Afterwards, take a piece of smooth ivory — you have one
prepared in your drawing-box : take your palette, mix your
freshest, finest, clearest tints; choose your most delicate
camel-hair pencils ; delineate carefully the loveliest face you
can imagine ; paint it in your softest shades and sweetest
hues, according to the description given by Mrs. Fairfax of
Blanche Ingram : remember the raven ringlets, the Oriental
eye ; — what ! you revert to Mr. Kochester as a model !
Order ! No snivel I — no sentiment ! — no regret ! I will
endure only sense and resolution. Recall the august yet
harmonious lineaments, the Grecian neck and bust : let the
round and dazzling arm be visible, and the delicate hand ;
omit neither diamond ring nor gold bracelet ; portray faith-
fully the attire, aerial lace and glistening satin, graceful
scarf and golden rose : call it " Blanche, an accomplished
lady of rank."
* \Vhenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr.
Eochester thinks well of you, take out these two pictures
and compare them : say, " Mr. Eochester might probably
win that noble lady's love, if he chose to strive for it ; is it
likely he would waste a serious thought on this indigent
and insignificant plebeian ? " '
' 111 do it/ I resolved : and having framed this determina-
tion, I grew calm, and fell asleep.
I kept my word. An hour or two sufficed to sketch my
own portrait in crayons ; and in less than a fortnight I had
completed an ivory miniature of an imaginary Blanche
Ingram. It looked a lovely face enough, and when compared
with the real head in chalk, the contrast was as great as self-
control could desire. I derived benefit from the task : it had
kept my head and hands employed, and had given force and
fixedness to the new impressions I wished to stamp indelibly
on my heart.
JANE EYEE 193
Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the
course of wholesome discipline to which I had thus forced
my feelings to submit: thanks to it, I was able to meet
subsequent occurrences with a decent calm; which, had
they found mo unprepared, I should probably have been
unequal to maintain, even externally.
194: JANE EYBE
3HAPTEB XVII
A WEEK passed, and no news arrived of Mr. Eochester : ten
days, and still he did not come. Mrs. Fairfax said she
should not be surprised if he were to go straight from the
Leas to London, and thence to the continent and not show
his face again at Thornfield for a year to come : he had not
unfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and
unexpected. When I heard this I was beginning to feel a
strange chill and failing at the heart. I was actually per-
mitting myself to experience a sickening sense of disappoint-
ment : but rallying my wits, and recollecting my principles, I
at once called my sensations to order ; and it was wonderful
how I got over the temporary blunder — how I cleared up the
mistake of supposing Mr. Bochester's movements a matter in
which I had any cause to take a vital interest. Not that I
humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority : on the
contrary, I just said — ' You have nothing to do with the
master of Thornfield, further than to receive the salary he
gives you for teaching his prot£ge"e, and to be grateful for such
respectful and kind treatment as, if you do your duty, you
have a right to expect at his hands. Be sure that is the only
tie he seriously acknowledges between you and him : so don't
make him the object of your fine feelings, your raptures,
agonies, and so forth. He is not of your order : keep to your
caste, and be too self-respecting to lavish the love of the
whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not
wanted and would be despised.'
I went on with my day's business tranquilly, but ever
and anon vague suggestions kept wandering across my brain
of reasons why I should quit Thornfield ; and I kept in-
JANE EYEE 195
voluntarily framing advertisements and pondering conjectures
about new situations ; these thoughts I did not think it
necessary to check ; they might germinate and bear fruit if
they could.
Mr. Eochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight,
when the post brought Mrs. Fairfax a letter.
1 It is from the master/ said she as she looked at the
direction. ' Now I suppose we shall know whether we are
to expect his return or not.'
And while she broke the seal and perused the document,
I went on taking my coffee (we were at breakfast) ; it was
hot, and I attributed to that circumstance a fiery glow which
suddenly rose to my face. Why my hand shook, and why I
involuntarily spilt half the contents of my cup into my
saucer, I did nou choose to consider.
1 Well — I sometimes think we are too quiet ; but we run
a chance of being busy enough now : for a little while at
least,1 said Mrs. Fairfax, still holding the note before her
spectacles.
Ere I permitted myself to request an explanation, 1 tied
the string of Ad61e's pinafore, which happened to be loose :
having helped her also to another bun, and refilled her mug
with milk, I said, nonchalantly : — ' Mr. Eochester is not
likely to return soon, I suppose ? '
1 Indeed, he is— in three days, he says ; that will be next
Thursday ; and not alone either. I don't know how many of
the fine people at the Leas are coming with him. He sends
directions for all the best bedrooms to be prepared ; and the
library and drawing-rooms are to be cleaned out ; and I am
to get more kitchen hands from the George Inn, at Millcote,
and from wherever else I can ; and the ladies will bring their
maids and the gentlemen their valets : so we shall have a
full house of it.1 And Mrs. Fairfax swallowed her breakfast
and hastened away to commence operations.
The three days were, as she had foretold, busy enough. I
had thought all the rooms at Thornfield beautifully clean and
well-arranged, but it appears I was mistaken. Three women
196 JANE EYEE
were got to help ; and such scrubbing, such brushing, such
washing of paint and beating of carpets, such taking down
and putting up of pictures, such polishing of mirrors and
lustres, sucli lighting of fires in bedrooms, such airing of
sheets and feather-beds on hearths, I never beheld either
before or since. Adele ran quite wild in the midst of it : the
preparations for company, and the prospect of their arrival,
seemed to throw her into ecstacies. She would have Sophie
to look over all her ' toilettes/ as she called frocks ; to furbish
up any that were ' passers/ and to air and arrange the new.
For herself, she did nothing but caper about in the front
chambers, jump on and off the bedsteads, and lie on the mat-
tresses and piled-up bolsters and pillows before the enormous
fires roaring in the chimneys. From school duties she
was exonerated: Mrs. Fairfax had pressed me into her
service, and I was all day in the storeroom, helping (or
hindering) her and the cook ; learning to make custards and
cheesecakes and French pastry, to truss game and garnish
dessert dishes.
The party were expected to arrive on Thursday afternoon,
in time for dinner at six. During the intervening period I
had no time to nurse chimeras ; and I believe I was as active
and gay as anybody— Adele excepted. Still, now and then,
I received a damping check to my cheerfulness ; and was, in
spite of myself, thrown back on the region of doubts and
portents, and dark conjectures. This was when I chanced to
see the third story staircase door (which of late had always
been kept locked) open slowly, and give passage to the form
of Grace Poole, in prim cap, white apron, and handkerchief ;
when I watched her glide along the gallery, her quiet tread
muffled in a list slipper; when I saw her look into the
bustling, topsy-turvy bedrooms,— just say a word, perhaps,
to the charwoman about the proper way to polish a grate, or
clean a marble mantelpiece, or take stains from papered
walls, and then pass on. She would thus descend to the
kitchen once a day, eat her dinner, smoke a moderate pipe
on the hearth, and go back, carrying her pot of porter with
JANE EYEE 197
her, for her private solace, in her own gloomy, upper haunt.
Only one hour in the twenty-four did she pass with her
fellow- servants below ; all the rest of her time was spent in
some low-ceiled, oaken chamber of the third story : there she
sat and sewed — and probably laughed drearily to herself
— as conipanionless as a prisoner in his dungeon.
The strangest thing of all was, that not a soul in the
house, except me, noticed her habits, or seemed to marvel at
them ; no one discussed her position or employment ; no one
pitied her solitude or isolation. I once, indeed, overheard
part of a dialogue between Leah and one of the charwomen,
of which Grace formed the subject. Leah had been saying
something T had not caught, and the charwomen remarked
— * She gets good wages, I guess ? '
' Yes/ said Leah ; ' I wish I had as good ; not that mine
are to complain of, — there's no stinginess at Thornneld ; but
they're not one-fifth of the sum Mrs. Poole receives. And
she is laying by : she goes every quarter to the bank at
Millcote. I should not wonder but she has saved enough to
keep her independent if she liked to leave ; but I suppose
she's got used to the place ; and then she's not forty yet, and
strong and able for anything. It is too soon for her to give
up business.'
' She is a good hand, I daresay,' said the charwoman.
'Ah! she understands what she has to do, — nobody
better,' rejoined Leah, significantly ; ' and it is not every one
could fill her shoes ; not for all the money she gets.'
' That it is not ! ' was the reply. ' I wonder whether
master '
The charwoman was going on ; but here Leah turned and
perceived me, and she instantly gave her companion a
nudge.
' Doesn't she know ? ' I heard the woman whisper.
Leah shook her head, and the conversation was of course
dropped. All I had gathered from it amounted to this, — that
there was a mystery at Thornfield ; and that from participa-
tion in that mystery I was purposely excluded.
198 JANE EYEE
Thursday came : all work had been completed the previous
evening ; carpets were laid down, bed-hangings festooned,
radiant white counterpanes spread, toilet-tables arranged,
furniture rubbed, flowers piled in vases : both chambers and
saloons looked as fresh and bright as hands could make them.
The hall, too, was scoured ; and the great carved clock, as
well as the steps and banisters of the staircase, were polished
to the brightness of glass : in the dining-room, the sideboard
flashed resplendent with plate ; in the drawing-room and
boudoir, vases of exotics bloomed on all sides.
Afternoon arrived : Mrs. Fairfax assumed her best black
satin gown, her gloves, and her gold watch ; for it was her
part to receive the company — to conduct the ladies to their
rooms, &c. Ad61e, too, would be dressed : though I thought
that she had little chance of being introduced to the party
that day, at least. However, to please her, I allowed Sophie
to apparel her in one of her short, full muslin frocks. For
myself, I had no need to make any change ; I should not be
called upon to quit my sanctum of the schoolroom; for a
sanctum it was now become to me — ' a very pleasant refuge
in time of trouble/
It had been a mild, serene spring day ; one of those days
which, towards the end of March or the beginning of April,
rise shining over the earth as heralds of summer. It was
drawing to an end now ; but the evening was even warm,
and I sat at work in the schoolroom with the window
open.
' It gets late/ said Mrs. Fairfax, entering in rustling state.
1 1 am glad I ordered dinner an hour after the time Mr.
Eochester mentioned ; for it is past six now. I have sent
John down to the gates to see if there is anything on the
road : one can see a long way from thence in the direction
of Millcote.' She went to the window. ' Here he is ! ' said
she. ' Well, John ' (leaning out), ' any news ? '
' They're coming, ma'am/ was the answer. ' They'll be
here in ten minutes.'
Ad&le flew to the window. I followed; taking care to
JANE EYEE 199
stand on one side, so that, screened by the curtain, I could
see without being seen.
The ten minutes John had given seemed very long, but
at last wheels were heard ; four equestrians galloped up the
drive, and after them came two open carriages. Fluttering
veils and waving plumes filled the vehicles; two of the
cavaliers were young, dashing-looking gentlemen ; the third
was Mr. Rochester, on his black horse, Mesrour ; Pilot
bounding before him : at his side rode a lady, and he
and she were the first of the party. Her purple riding-
habit almost swept the ground, her veil streamed long on the
breeze; mingling with its transparent folds, and gleaming
through them, shone rich raven ringlets.
1 Miss Ingram I ' exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax, and away she
hurried to her post below.
The cavalcade, following the sweep of the drive, quickly
turned the angle of the house, and I lost sight of it. Adele
now petitioned to go down ; but I took her on my knee and
gave her to understand that she must not on any account
think of venturing in sight of the ladies, either now or at any
other time, unless expressly sent for; that Mr. Rochester
would be very angry, &c. ' Some natural tears she shed ' on
being told this; but as I began to look very grave, she
consented at last to wipe them.
A joyous stir was now audible in the hall ; gentlemen's
deep tones and ladies' silvery accents blent harmoniously
together, and distinguishable above all, though not loud, was
the sonorous voice of the master of Thornfield Hall, welcom-
ing his fair and gallant guests under its roof. Then light
steps ascended the stairs ; and there was a tripping through
the gallery, and soft cheerful laughs, and opening and closing
doors, and, for a time, a hush.
' Elles changent de toilettes/ said Adele ; who, listen-
ing attentively had followed every movement ; and she
sighed.
Chez mam an,' said she, ' quand il y avait du monde, je
le suivais partout, au salon et & leurs chambres ; souvent je
200 JANE EYEE
regardais les femmes de chambre coiffer et habiller les dames,
et c'6tait si amusant : comme cela on apprend.'
' Don't you feel hungry, Ad61e ? '
' Mais oui, mademoiselle : voil& cinq ou six heures que
nous n'avons pas mang6.'
1 Well now, while the ladies are in their rooms, I will
venture down and get you something to eat/
And issuing from my asylum with precaution, I sought a
backstairs which conducted directly to the kitchen. All in
that region was fire and commotion ; the soup and fish were
in the last stage of projection, and the cook hung over her
crucibles in a frame of mind and body threatening sponta-
neous combustion. In the servants' hall two coachmen and
three gentlemen's gentlemen stood or sat round the fire ; the
Abigails, I suppose, were upstairs with their mistresses : the
new servants that had been hired from Millcote were bustling
about everywhere. Threading this chaos, I at last reached
the larder ; there I took possession of a cold chicken, a roll
of bread, some tarts, a plate or two, and a knife and fork :
with this booty I made a hasty retreat. I had regained the
gallery, and was just shutting the back-door behind me, when
an accelerated hum warned me that the ladies were about to
issue from their chambers. I could not proceed to the
schoolroom without passing some of their doors, and running
the risk of being surprised with my cargo of victualage;
so I stood still at this end, which, being windowless, was
dark : quite dark now, for the sun was set and twilight
gathering.
Presently the chambers gave up their fair tenants one
after another; each came out gaily and airily, with dress
that gleamed lustrous through the dusk. For a moment
they stood grouped together at the other extremity of the
gallery, conversing in a key of sweet subdued vivacity ; they
then descended the staircase almost as noiselessly as a bright
mist rolls down a hill. Their collective appearance had left
on me an impression of high-born elegance, such as I had
never before received.
JANE EYEE 201
I found Adfele peeping through the schoolroom door,
which she held aja,r. ' What beautiful ladies ! ' cried she
in English. ' Oh, I wish I might go to them ! Do you
think Mr. Eochester will send for us by-and-by, after
dinner?'
' No, indeed, I don't ; Mr. Eochestor has something else
to think about. Never mind the ladies to-night; perhaps
you will see them to-morrow ; here is your dinner.'
She was really hungry, so the chicken and tarts served
to divert her attention for a time. It was well I secured
this forage ; or both she, I and Sophie, to whom I con-
veyed a share of our repast, would have run a chance
of getting no dinner at all : every one downstairs was
too much engaged to think of us. The dessert was not
carried out till after nine ; and at ten footmen were still
running to and fro with trays and coffee-cups. I allowed
Ad61e to sit up much later than usual; for she declared
she could not possibly go to sleep while the doors kept
opening and shutting below, and people bustling about.
Besides, she added, a message might possibly come from
Mr. Eochester when she was undressed; 'et alors qucl
dommage ! '
I told her stories as long as she would listen to them ;
and then for a change I took her out into the gallery. The
hall lamp was now lit, and it amused her to look over the
balustrade and watch the servants passing backwards and
forwards. When the evening was far advanced, a sound of
music issued from the drawing-room, whither the piano had
been removed. Adele and I sat down on the top step of the
stairs to listen. Presently a voice blent with the rich tones
of the instrument ; it was a lady who sang, and very sweet
her notes were. The solo over, a duet followed, and then a
glee : a joyous conversational murmur filled up the intervals.
I listened long: suddenly I discovered that my ear was
wholly intent on analysing the mingled sounds, and trying
to discriminate amidst the confusion of accents those of
Mr. Eochester ; and when it caught them, which it soon did,
202 JANE EYRE
it found a further task in framing the tones, rendered by
distance inarticulate, into words.
The clock struck eleven. I looked at Ad61e, whose head
leant against my shoulder; her eyes were waxing heavy,
so I took her up in my arms and carried her off to bed. It
was near one before the gentlemen and ladies sought their
chambers.
The next day was as fine as its predecessor ; it was
devoted by the party to an excursion to some sight in the
neighbourhood. They set out early in the forenoon, some
on horseback, the rest in carriages ; I witnessed both the
departure and the return. Miss Ingram, as before, was the
only lady equestrian ; and, as before, Mr. Rochester galloped
at her side ; the two rode a little apart from the rest. I
pointed out this circumstance to Mrs. Fairfax, who was
standing at the window with me : —
' You said it was not likely they should think of being
married/ said I, ' but you see -Mr. Rochester evidently
prefers her to any of the other ladies.1
' Yes ; I daresay : no doubt he admires her/
' And she him,' I added ; ' look how she leans her head
towards him as if she were conversing confidentially; I
wish I could see her face ; I have never had a glimpse of
it yet/
1 You will see her this evening/ answered Mrs. Fairfax.
' I happened to remark to Mr. Rochester how much Ad£le
wished to be introduced to the ladies, and he said : ' Oh ! let
her come into the drawing-room after dinner ; and request
Miss Eyre to accompany her/
1 Yes — he said that from mere politeness : I need not go,
I am sure/ I answered.
'Well, I observed to him that as you were unused to
company, I did not think you would like appearing before
so gay a party — all strangers — and he replied, in his quick
way : " Nonsense I If she objects, tell her it is my particular
wish ; and if she resists, say I shall come and fetch her in
case of contumacy." '
JANE EYEE 203
6 1 will not give him that trouble,' I answered. ' I will
go, if no better may be : but I don't like it. Shall you be
there, Mrs. Fairfax ? '
' No ; I pleaded off, and he admitted my plea. I'll tell
you how to manage so as to avoid the embarrassment of
making a formal entrance, which is the most disagreeable
part of the business. You must go into the drawing-room
while it is empty, before the ladies leave the dinner-table ;
choose your seat in any quiet nook you like ; you need not
stay long after the gentlemen come in, unless you please :
just let Mr. Eochester see you are there and then slip away —
nobody will notice you/
' Will those people remain long, do you think ? '
' Perhaps two or three weeks ; certainly not more. After
the Easter recess, Sir George Lynn, who was lately elected
member for Millcote, will have to go up to town and take
his seat ; I daresay Mr. Eochester will accompany him : it
surprises me that he has already made so protracted a stay
at Thornfield.'
It was with some trepidation that I perceived the hour
approach when I was to repair with my charge to the draw-
ing-room. Adele had been in a state of ecstasy all day, after
hearing she was to be presented to the ladies in the evening ;
and it was not till Sophie commenced the operation of dress-
ing her that she sobered down. Then the importance of the
process quickly steadied her ; and by the time she had her
curls arranged in well-smoothed, drooping clusters, her pink
satin frock put on, her long sash tied, and her lace mittens
adjusted, she looked as grave as any judge. No need to warn
her not to disarrange her attire : when she was dressed, she
sat demurely down in her little chair, taking care previously
to lift up the satin skirt for fear she should crease it, and
assured me she would not stir thence till I was ready. This
I quickly was ; my best dress (the silver-grey one, purchased
for Miss Temple's wedding, and never worn since) was soon
put on ; my hair was soon smoothed ; my sole ornament,
the pearl brooch, soon assumed. We descended.
204 JANE EYEB
Fortunately there was another entrance to the drawing-
room than that through the saloon where they were all
seated at dinner. We found the apartment vacant, a large
fire burning silently on the marble hearth, and wax candles
shining in bright solitude, amid the exquisite flowers with
which the tables were adorned. The crimson curtain hung
before the arch : slight as was the separation this drapery
formed from the party in the adjoining saloon, they spoke in
so low a key that nothing of their convefsation could be dis-
tinguished beyond a soothing murmur.
Ad&le, who appeared to be still under the influence of a
most solemnising impression, sat down, without a word, on
the footstool I pointed out to her. I retired to a window-
seat, and, taking a book from a table near, endeavoured to
read. Adele brought her stool to my feet; ere long she
touched my knee.
'What is it, Ad61e?'
' Est-ce que je ne puis pas prendre une seule de ces fleurs
magnifiques, mademoiselle ? Seulement pour computer ma
toilette/
' You think too much of your " toilette," Ad61e, but you
may have a flower.' And I took a rose from a vase and
fastened it in her sash. She sighed a sigh of ineffable
satisfaction, as if her cup of happiness were now full. I
turned my face away to conceal a smile I could not suppress :
there was something ludicrous as well as painful in the little
Parisienne's earnest and innate devotion to matters of dress.
A soft sound of rising now became audible ; the curtain
was swept back from the arch ; through it appeared the
dining-room, with its lit lustre pouring down light on the
silver and glass of a magnificent dessert-service covering a
long table ; a band of ladies stood in the opening ; they
entered, and the curtain fell behind them.
There were but eight, yet somehow as they flocked in,
they gave the impression of a much larger number. Some of
them were very tall, many were dressed in white, and all had a
sweeping amplitude of array that seemed to magnify their
JANE EYBE 205
persons as a mist magnifies the moon. I rose and curtseyed
to them ; one or two bent their heads in return, the others
only stared at me.
They dispersed about the room, reminding me, by the
lightness and buoyancy of their movements, of a flock of
white plumy birds. Some of them threw themselves in
half -reclining positions on the sofas and ottomans, some bent
over the tables and examined the flowers and books, the icst
gathered in a group round the fire — all talked in a low but
clear tone which seemed habitual to them. I knew their
names afterwards, and may as well mention them now.
First there was Mrs. Eshton and two of her daughters.
She had evidently been a handsome woman, and was well pre-
served still. Of her daughters, the eldest, Amy, was rather
little ; naive, and childlike in face and manner, and piquant
in form : her white muslin dress and blue sash became her
well. The second, Louisa, was taller and more elegant in
figure, with a very pretty face, of that order the French term
' minois chiffonn6 ' : both sisters were fair as lilies.
Lady Lynn was a large and stout personage of about
forty, very erect, very haughty-looking, richly dressed in a
satin robe of changeful sheen : her dark hair shone glossily
under the shade of an azure plume, and within the circlet of
a band of gems.
Mrs. Colonel Dent was less showy, but, I thought, more
ladylike. She had a slight figure, a pale, gentle face, and
fair hair. Her black satin dress, her scarf of rich foreign
lace, and her pearl ornaments, pleased me better than the
rainbow radiance of the titled dame.
But the three most distinguished — partly, perhaps,
because the tallest figures of the baud — were the Dowager
Lady Ingram and her daughters, Blanche and Mary.
They were all three of the loftiest stature of woman.
The dowager might be between forty and fifty ; her shape
was still fine ; her hair (by candlelight at least) still black ;
her teeth, too, were still apparently perfect. Most people
would have termed her a splendid woman of her age:
206 JANE EYEE
and so she was, no doubt, physically speaking ; but then there
was an expression of almost insupportable haughtiness in
her bearing and countenance. She had Eoman features and
a double chin, disappearing into a throat like a pillar : these
features appeared to me not only inflated and darkened, but
even furrowed with pride ; and the chin was sustained
by the same principle, in a position of almost preternatural
erectness. She had, likewise, a fierce and a hard eye : it
reminded me of Mrs. Reed's; she mouthed her words in
speaking ; her voice was deep, its inflections very pompous,
very dogmatical — very intolerable, in short. A crimson
velvet robe, and a shawl turban of some gold-wrought Indian
fabric, invested her (I suppose she thought) with a truly
imperial dignity.
Blanche and Mary were of equal stature — straight and
tall as poplars. Mary was too slim for her height; but
Blanche was moulded like a Dian. I regarded her, of
course, with special interest. First, I wished to see whether
her appearance accorded with Mrs. Fairfax's description;
secondly, whether it at all resembled the fancy miniature I had
painted of her ; and thirdly — it will out ! — whether it were
such as I should fancy likely to suit Mr. Rochester's taste.
As far as person went, she answered point for point, both
to my picture and Mrs. Fairfax's description. The noble
bust, the sloping shoulders, the graceful neck, the dark eyes
and black ringlets were all there — but her face ? Her face
was like her mother's ; a youthful unfurrowed likeness :
the same low brow, the same high features, the same pride.
It was not, however, so saturnine a pride : she laughed con-
tinually ; her laugh was satirical, and so was the habitual
expression of her arched and haughty lip.
Genius is said to be self-conscious : I cannot tell whether
Miss Ingram was a genius, but she was self-conscious —
remarkably self-conscious indeed. She entered into a dis-
course on botany with the gentle Mrs. Dent. It seems Mrs.
Dent had not studied that science : though, as she said, she
liked flowers, ' especially wild ones ' j Miss Ingram had, and
JANE EYEE 207
she ran over its vocabulary with an air. I presently
perceived she was (what is vernacularly termed) trailing
Mrs. Dent; that is playing on her ignorance; her trail
might be clever, but it was decidedly not good-natured.
She played; her execution was brilliant; she sang; her
voice was fine; she talked French apart to her mamma;
and she talked it well, with fluency and with a good accent.
Mary had a milder and more open countenance than
Blanche ; softer features too, and a skin some shades fairer
(Miss Ingram was dark as a Spaniard) — but Mary was
deficient in life ; her face lacked expression, her eye lustre ;
she had nothing to say, and having once taken her seat,
remained fixed like a statue in its niche. The sisters were
both attired m spotless white.
And did I now think Miss Ingram such a choice as Mr.
Eochester would be likely to make ? I could not tell— I did
not know his taste in female beauty. If he liked the majestic,
she was the very type of majesty : then she was accomplished,
sprightly. Most gentlemen would admire her, I thought;
and that he did admire her, I already seemed to have
obtained proof : to remove the last shade of doubt, it
remained but to see them together.
You are not to suppose, reader, that Ad&le has all this
time been sitting, motionless, on the stool at my feet : no ;
when the ladies entered, she rose, advanced to meet them,
made a stately reverence, and said, with gravity,—1 Bon
jour, mesdames.'
And Miss Ingram had looked down at her with a mocking
air, and exclaimed, ' Oh, what a little puppet ! '
Lady Lynn had remarked, ' It is Mr. Eochester's ward,
I suppose — the little French girl he was speaking of.'
Mrs. Dent had kindly taken her hand, and given her a
kiss. Amy and Louisa Eshton had cried out simul-
' What a love of a child 1 '
And then they had called her to a sofa, where she now
sat, ensconced between them, chattering alternately in French
208 JANE EYEE
and broken English : absorbing not only the young ladies'
attention, but that of Mrs. Eshton and Lady Lynn, and
getting spoilt to her heart's content.
At last coffee is brought in, and the gentlemen are
summoned. I sit in the shade — if any shade there be in this
brilliantly-lit apartment ; the window curtain half hides me.
Again the arch yawns : they come. The collective appear-
ance of the gentlemen, like that of the ladies, is very
imposing : they are all costumed in black ; most of them are
tall, some young. Henry and Frederick Lynn are very
dashing sparks, indeed ; and Colonel Dent is a fine soldierly
man. Mr. Eshton, the magistrate of the district, is gentle-
man-like : his hair is quite white, his eyebrows and whiskers
still dark, which gives him something of the appearance of a
' pfere noble de theatre.' Lord Ingram, like his sisters, is
very tall ; like them, also, he is handsome ; but he shares
Mary's apathetic and listless look : he seems to have more
length of limb than vivacity of blood or vigour of brain.
And where is Mr. Eochester ?
He comes in last : I am not looking at the arch, yet I
see him enter. I try to concentrate my attention on those
netting-needles, on the meshes of the purse I am forming — I
wish to think only of the work I have in my hands, to see
only the silver beads and silk threads that lie in my lap ;
whereas, I distinctly behold his figure, and I inevitably recall
the moment when I last saw it : just after I had rendered
him, what he deemed an essential service — and he, holding
my hand, and looking down on my face, surveyed me with
eyes that revealed a heart full and eager to overflow ; in
whose emotions I had a part. How near had I approached
him at that moment ! What had occurred since, calculated to
change his and my relative positions ? Yet now, how distant,
how far estranged we were ! So far estranged, that I did
not expect him to come and speak to me. I did not wonder,
when, without looking at me, he took a seat at the other side
of the room, and began conversing with some of the ladies.
No sooner did I see that his attention was riveted on
JANE EYEB 209
them, and that I might gaze without being observed, than
my eyes were drawn involuntarily to his face : I could not
keep their lids under control : they would rise, and the irids
would fix on him. I looked, and had an acute pleasure in
looking,— -a precious, yet poignant pleasure ; pure gold, with
a steelly point of agony : a pleasure like what the thirst-
perishing man might feel who knows the well to which he has
crept is poisoned, yet stoops and drinks divine draughts
nevertheless.
Most true is it that ' beauty is in the eye of the gazer,'
My master's colourless, olive face, square, massive brow,
broad and jetty eyebrows, deep eyes, strong features, firm,
grim mouth, — all energy, decision, will, — were not beautiful,
according to rule ; but they were more than beautiful to me :
they were full of an interest, an influence that quite mastered
me,— that took my feelings from my own power and fettered
them in his. I had not intended to love him : the reader
knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul thd
germs of love there detected ; and now, at the first renewed
view of him, they spontaneously revived, green and strong !
He made me love him without looking at me.
I compared him with his guests. What was the gallant
grace of the Lynns, the languid elegance of Lord Ingram, —
even the military distinction of Colonel Dent, contrasted with
his look of native pith and genuine power? I had no
sympathy with their appearance, their expression; yet I
could imagine that most observers would call them attractive,
handsome, imposing ; while they would pronounce Mr.
Eochester at once harsh-featured and melancholy-looking.
I saw them smile, laugh — it was nothing ; the light of the
candles had as much soul in it as their smile ; the tinkle of
the bell as much significance as their laugh. I saw Mr.
Eochester smile — his stern features softened ; his eye grew
both brilliant and gentle, its ray both searching and sweet.
He was talking, at the moment, to Louisa and Amy Eshton.
I wondered to £63 them receive with calm that look which
seemed to me so penetrating ; J expected their eyes to fall
210 JANE BYEE
their colour to rise under it ; yet I was glad when I found
they were in no sense moved. ' He is not to them what he
is to me,1 I thought : ' he is not of their kind. I believe
he is of mine; — I am sure he is, — I feel akin to him, — I
understand the language of his countenance and movements ;
though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something
in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimi-
lates me mentally to him. Did I say, a few days since, that
I had nothing to do with him but to receive my salary at his
hands ? Did I forbid myself to think of him in any other
light than as a paymaster? Blasphemy against nature 1
Every good, true, vigorous feeling I have, gathers impulsively
round him. I know I must conceal my sentiments ; I must
smother hope ; I must remember that he cannot care much
for me. For when I say that I am of his kind, I do not mean
that I have his force to influence, and his spell to attract ; I
mean only that I have certain tastes and feelings in common
with him. I must then repeat continually that we are for
ever sundered ; — and yet, while I breathe and think I must
love him.'
Coffee is handed. The ladies, since the gentlemen
entered, have become lively as larks; conversation waxes
brisk and merry. Colonel Dent and Mr. Eshton argue on
politics ; their wives listen. The two proud dowagers, Lady
Lynn and Lady Ingram, confabulate together. Sir George —
whom, by-the-by, I have forgotten to describe — a very big
and very fresh-looking country gentleman, stands before
their sofa, coffee-cup in hand, and occasionally puts in a
word. Mr. Frederick Lynn has taken a seat beside Mary
Ingram, and is showing her the engravings of a splendid
volume ; she looks, smiles now and then, but apparently
says little. The tall and phlegmatic Lord Ingram leans
with folded arms on the chair-back of the little and lively
Amy Eshton; she glances up at him, and chatters like a
wren : she likes him better than she does Mr. Kochester.
Henry Lynn has taken possession of an ottoman at the feet
of Louisa; Adele shares it with him: he is trying to talk
JANE EYEE 211
French with her, and Louisa laughs at his blunders. With
whom will Blanche Ingram pair ? She is standing alone at
the table, bending gracefully over an album. She seems
waiting to be sought ; but she will not wait too long : she
herself selects a mate.
Mr. Eochester, having quitted the Eshtons, stands on
the hearth as solitary as she stands by the table ; she con-
fronts him, taking her station on the opposite side of the
mantelpiece.
1 Mr. Eochester, I thought you were not fond of
children?1
' Nor am I.1
I Then, what induced you to take charge of such a little
doll as that ? ' (pointing to Adele). ' Where did you pick
her up ? '
I 1 did not pick her up, she was left on my hands.'
1 You should have sent her to school.'
' I could not afford it ; schools are so dear/
* Why, I suppose you have a governess for her ; I saw a
person with her just now — is she gone ? Oh, no, there she
is still behind the window-curtain. You pay her, of course.
I should think it quite as expensive — more so, for you have
them both to keep in addition.'
I feared — or should I say, hoped — the allusion to me
would make Mr. Eochester glance my way ; and I involun-
tarily shrank further into the shade; but he never turned
his eyes.
' I have not considered the subject,1 said he indifferently,
looking straight before him.
' No — you men never do consider economy and common
sense. You should hear mamma on the chapter of gov-
ernesses. Mary and I have had, 1 should think, a dozen at
least in our day ; half of them detestable and the rest
ridiculous, and all incubi — were they not, mamma ? '
' Did you speak, my own ? '
The young lady thus claimed as the dowager's special
property reiterated her question with an explanation.
212 JANE EYEE
' My dearest, don't mention governesses ; the word
makes me nervous. I have suffered a martyrdom from
their incompetency and caprice ; I thank Heaven I have
now done with them I '
Mrs. Dent here bent over to the pious lady, and whispered
something in her ear ; I suppose, from the answer elicited,
it was a reminder that one of the anathematised race was
present.
I Tant pis ! ' said her ladyship, ' I hope it may do her
good/ Then, in a lower tone, but still loud enough for me
to hear, ' I noticed her ; I am a judge of physiognomy, and
in hers I see all the faults of her class/
'What are they, madam?1 inquired Mr. Eochester
aloud.
I 1 will tell you in your private ear/ replied she, wagging
her turban three times with portentous significaricy.
' But my curiosity will bo past its appetite ; it craves food
now '
1 Ask Blanche ; she is nearer you than I/
' Oh, don't refer him to me, mamma ! I have just one
word to say of the whole tribe ; they are a nuisance. Not
that I ever suffered much from them ; I took care to turn the
tables. What tricks Theodore and I used to play on our
Miss Wilsons, and Mrs. Greys, and Madame Jouberts 1
Mary was always too sleepy to join in a plot with spirit. The
best fun was with Madame Joubert. Miss Wilson was a poor
sickly thing, lachrymose and low-spirited : not worth the
trouble of vanquishing, in short ; and Mrs. Grey was coarse
and insensible : no blow took effect on her. But poor
Madame Joubert ! I see her yet in her raging passions, when
we had driven her to extremities — spilt our tea, crumbled our
bread and butter, tossed our books up to the ceiling, and
played a charivari with the ruler and desk, the fender and
fire-irons. Theodore, do you remember those merry days ? '
' Yaas, to be sure I do/ drawled Lord Ingram ; ' and the
poor old stick used to cry out, " Oh, you villains childs ! " and
then we sermonised her on the presumption of attempting to
JANE EYKE 213
teach such clever blades as we were, when she was herself
so* ignorant/
1 We did ; and Tedo, you know I helped you in prose-
cuting (or persecuting) your tutor, whey-faced Mr. Vining— -
the parson in the pip, as we used to call him. He and Miss
Wilson took the liberty of falling in love with each other —
at least Tedo and I thought so ; we surprised sundry tender
glances and sighs which we interpreted as tokens of " la
belle passion," and I promise you the public soon had the
benefit of our discovery ; we employed it as a sort of lever to
hoist our dead-weights from the house. Dear mamma, there,
as soon as she got an inkling of the business, found out that
it was of an immoral tendency. Did you not, my lady-
mother ? '
' Certainly, my best. And I was quite right, depend on
that : there are a thousand reasons why liaisons between
governesses and tutors should never be tolerated a moment
in any well-regulated house ; firstly, '
1 Oh, gracious, mamma ! Spare us the enumeration ! Au
reste, we all know them : danger of bad example to innocence
of childhood — distractions and consequent neglect of duty
on the part of the attached — mutual alliance and reliance ;
confidence thence resulting — insolence accompanying —
mutiny and general blow-up. Am I right, Baroness Ingram,
of Ingram Park ? '
1 My lily-flower, you are right now, as always.1
' Then no more need be said ; change the subject.1
Amy Eshton, not hearing or not heeding this dictum,
joined in with her soft infantine tone : ' Louisa and I used to
quiz our governess too ; but she was such a good creature, she
would bear anything ; nothing put her out. She was never
cross with us ; was she, Louisa ? '
' No, never ; we might do what we pleased — ransack her
desk and her workbox, and turn her drawers inside out ;
and she was so good-natured, she would give us anything
we asked for/
'I suppose now/ said Miss Ingram, curling her lips
214 JANE EYBE
sarcastically, ' we bhall have an abstract of the memoirs of all
the governesses extant ; in order to avert such a visitation,
I again move the introduction of a new topic. Mr. Rochester,
do you second my motion ? '
' Madam, I support you on this point as on every other/
1 Then on me be the onus of bringing it forward. Signor
Eduardo, are you in voicjp to-night ? '
' Donna Bianca, if you command it, I will be.1
1 Then, signer, I lay on you my sovereign behest to fur-
bish up your lungs and other vocal organs, as they will be
wanted on my royal service.'
' Who would not be the Eizzio of so divine a Mary ? '
1 A fig for Eizzio 1 ' cried she, tossing her head with all
its curls, as she moved to the piano. ' It is my opinion the
fiddler David must have been an insipid sort of fellow ; I like
black Bothwell better. To my mind a man is nothing without
a spice of the devil in him ; and history may say what it will
of James Hepburn, but I have a notion he was just the sort
of wild, fierce, bandit hero whom I could have consented to
gift with my hand.'
I GentJemen, you hear ! Now which of you most re-
sembles Bothwell ? ' cried Mr. Eochester.
I 1 should say the preference lies with you/ responded
Colonel Dent.
1 On my honour, I am much obliged to you,' was the reply.
Miss Ingram, who had now seated herself with proud grace
at the piano, spreading out her snowy robes in queenly ampli-
tude, commenced a brilliant prelude ; talking meantime.
She appeared to be on her high-horse to-night; both her
words and her air seemed intended to excite not only the
admiration, but the amazement of her auditors ; she was
evidently bent on striking them as something very dashing
and daring indeed.
1 Oh, I am so sick of the young men of the present day ! '
exclaimed she, rattling away at the instrument. ' Poor
puny things not fit to stir a step beyond papa's park-gates :
nor to go even so far without mamma's permission and
JANE EYEE 215
guardianship 1 Creatures so absorbed in care about their
pretty faces and their white hands, and their small feet ; as if
a man had anything to do with beauty 1 As if loveliness
were not the special prerogative of woman — her legitimate
appanage and heritage 1 I grant an ugly woman is a blot on
the fair face of creation ; but as to the gentlemen, let them
be solicitous to possess only strength and valour : let their
motto be — Hunt, shoot, and fight ; the rest is not worth a
fillip. Such should be my device, were I a man/
' Whenever I marry,' she continued afier a pause which
none interrupted, ' I am resolved my husband shall not be a
rival, but a foil to me. I will suffer no competitor near the
throne ; I shall exact an undivided homage ; his devotions
shall not be .shared between rne and the shape he sees in his
mirror. Mr. Eochester, now sing, and I will play for you/
' I am all obedience/ was the response.
'Here then is a Corsair-song. Know that I doat on
Corsairs ; and for that reason, sing it " con spirito." '
' Commands from Miss Ingram's lips would put spirit
into a mug of milk and water.'
' Take care, then : if you don't please me, I will shame
you by showing how such things should be done.'
* That is offering a premium on incapacity ; I shall now
endeavour to fail.'
' Gardez-vous en bien ! If you err wilfully, I shall devise
a proportionate punishment.'
' Miss Ingram ought to be clement, for she has it in her
power to inflict a chastisement beyond mortal endurance.'
1 Ha ! explain ! ' commanded the lady.
1 Pardon me, madam ; no need of explanation ; your own
fine sense must inform you that one of your frowns would
be a sufficient substitute for capital punishment.'
1 Sing ! ' said she, and again touching the piano, she
commenced an accompaniment in spirited style.
1 Now is my time to slip away,' thought I ; but the tones
that then severed the air arrested me. Mrs. Fairfax had
said Mr. Eochester possessed a fine voice ; he did — a mellow
216 JANE EYEB
powerful bass, into which he threw his own feeling, his own
force ; finding a way through the ear to the heart, and there
waking sensation strangely. I waited till the last deep and
full vibration had expired — till the tide of talk, checked an
instant, had resumed its flow ; I then quitted my sheltered
corner and made my exit by the side-door, which was
fortunately near. Thence a narrow passage led into the
hall ; in crossing it, I perceived my sandal was loose ; I
stopped to tie it, kneeling down for that purpose on the mat
at the foot of the staircase. I heard the dining-room door
unclose ; a gentleman came out ; rising hastily, I stood face
to face with him ; it was Mr. Eochester.
' How do you do ? ' he asked.
1 1 am very well, sir/
1 Why did you not come and speak to me in the room ? '
I thought I might have retorted the question on him who
put it ; but I would not take that freedom. I answered : —
' I did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed engaged, sir.1
' What have you been doing during my absence ? '
1 Nothing particular ; teaching Adele as usual/
1 And getting a good deal paler than you were — as I saw
at first sight. What is the matter? '
' Nothing at all, sir/
'Did you take any cold that night you half drowned
me?'
' Not the least/
I Beturn to the drawing-room ; you are deserting too
early/
I 1 am tired, sir/
He looked at me for a minute.
1 And a little depressed,1 be said. ' What about ? Tell
me/
' Nothing — nothing, sir. I am not depressed/
' But I affirm that you are : so much depressed that a few
more words would bring tears to your eyes — indeed, they are
there now, shining and swimming ; and a bead has slipped
from the lash and fallen on to the flag. If I had time, and
JANE EYKE 217
was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a servant
passing, I would know what all this means. Well, to-night
I excuse you ; but understand that so long as my visitors
stay, I expect you to appear in the drawing-room every
evening ; it is my wish ; don't neglect it. Now go, and
send Sophie for Adele. Good-night, my ' He stopped,
bit his lip, and abruptly left me.
218 JANE EYBE
CHAPTEE XVIII
MERRY days were these at Thornfield Hall ; and busy days
too : how different from the first three months of stillness,
monotony, and solitude I had passed beneath its roof ! All
sad feelings seemed now driven from the house, all gloomy
associations forgotten : there was life everywhere, movement
all day long. You could not now traverse the gallery, once
so hushed, nor enter the front chambers, once so tenantless,
without encountering a smart lady's maid, or a dandy
valet.
The kitchen, the butler's pantry, the servants' hall, the
entrance hall, were equally alive ; and the saloons were only
left void and still when the blue sky and halcyon sunshine of
the genial spiing weather called their occupants out into the
grounds. Even when that weather was broken, and con-
tinuous rain set in for some days, no damp seemed cast over
enjoyment ; indoor amusements only became more lively
and varied, in consequence of the stop put to outdoor
gaiety.
I wondered what they were going to do the first evening
a change of entertainment was proposed; they spoke of
* playing charades,' but in my ignorance I did not understand
the term. The servants were called in, the dining-room
tables wheeled away, the lights otherwise disposed, the chairs
placed in a semicircle opposite the arch. While Mr. Kochester
and the other gentlemen directed these alterations, the ladies
were running up and down stairs ringing for their maids.
Mrs. Fairfax was summoned to give information respecting
the resources of the house in shawls, dresses, draperies of
any kind; and certain wardrobes of the third story were
JANE EYES 219
ransacked, and their contents, in the shape of brocaded and
hooped petticoats, satin sacques, black modes, lace lappets,
&c., were brought down in armfuls by the Abigails ; then a
selection was made, and such things as were chosen were
carried to the boudoir within the drawing-room.
Meantime, Mr. Eochester had again summoned the ladies
round him, and was selecting certain of their number to be of
his party. ' Miss Ingram is mine, of course/ said he ; after-
wards he named the two Misses Eshton, and Mrs. Dent. He
looked at me ; I happened to be near him, as I had been
fastening the clasp of Mrs. Dent's bracelet, which had got
loose.
' Will you play ? ' he asked. I shook my head. He did
not insist, which I rather feared he would have done ; he
allowed me to return quietly to my usual seat.
He and his aids now withdrew behind the curtain ; the
other party, which was headed by Colonel Dent, sat down on
the crescent of chairs. One of the gentlemen, Mr. Eshton,
observing me, seemed to propose that I should be asked to
join them ; but Lady Ingram instantly negatived the
notion.
4 No,' I heard her say : ' she looks too stupid for any
game of the sort.'
Ere long, a bell tinkled, and the curtain drew up.
Within the arch the bulky figure of J3ir George Lynn, whom
Mr. Eochester had likewise chosen, was seen enveloped in a
white sheet ; before him, on a table, lay open a large book ;
and at his side stood Amy Eshton, draped in Mr. Eochester's
cloak, and holding a book in her hand. Somebody, unseen,
rang the bell merrily ; then Ad61e (who had insisted on being
one of her guardian's party), bounded forward, scattering
round her the contents of a basket of flowers she earned on
her arm. Then appeared the magnificent figure of Miss
Ingram, clad in white, a long veil on her head, and a wreath
of roses round her brow ; by her side walked Mr. Eochester,
and together they drew near the table. They knelt, while
Mrs. Dent and Louisa Eshton, dressed also in white, took up
220 JANE EYEB
their stations behind them. A ceremony followed, in dumb
show, in which it was easy to recognise the pantomime of a
marriage. At its termination Colonel Dent and his party
consulted in whispers for two minutes, then the Colonel called
out, — * Bride ! ' Mr. Eochester bowed, and the curtain
fell.
A considerable interval elapsed before it again rose. Its
second rising displayed a more elaborately prepared scene than
the last. The drawing-room, as I have before observed, was
raised two steps above the dining-room, and on the top of the
upper step, placed a yard or two back within the room,
appeared a largo marble basin, which I recognised as an
ornament of the conservatory — where it usually stood,
surrounded by exotics, and tenanted by gold iish — and
whence it must have been transported with some trouble, on
account of its size and weight.
Seabed on the carpet, by the side of this basin, was seen
Mr. Rochester, costumed in shawls, with a turban on his
head. His dark eyes and swarth skin and Paynim features
suited the. costume exactly : he looked the very model of an
Eastern emir ; an agent or a victim of the bowstring.
Presently advanced into view Miss Ingram. She, too, was
attired in Oriental fashion : a crimson scarf tied sash-like
round the waist ; an embroidered handkerchief knotted about
her temples ; her beautifully-moulded arms bare, one of them
up-raised in the act of supporting a pitcher, poised gracefully
on her head. Both her cast of form and feature, her
complexion and her general air, suggested the idea of some
Israelitish princess of the patriarchal days ; and such was
doubtless the character she intended to represent. ,
She approached the basin, and bent over it as if to fill her
pitcher ; she again lifted it to her head. The personage on
the well- brink now seemed to accost her; to make some
request, — ' She hasted, let down her pitcher on her hand and
gave him to drink/ From the bosom of his robe he then
produced a casket, opened it and showed magnificent
bracelets and earrings ; she acted astonishment and admira-
JANE EYEE 221
tion ; kneeling, he laid the treasure at her feet ; incredulity
and delight were expressed by her looks and gestures ; the
stranger fastened the bracelets on her arms, and the rings
in her ears. It was Eliezer and Bebecca ; the camels only
were wanting.
The divining party again laid their heads together;
apparently they could not agree about the word or syllable
this scene illustrated. Colonel Dent, their spokesman,
demanded ' the tableau 'of the Whole ' ; whereupon the
curtain again descended.
On its third rising only a portion of the drawing-room
was disclosed ; the rest being concealed by a screen, hung
with some, sort of dark and coarse drapery. The marble
basin was removed ; in its place stood a deal table and a
kitchen chair: these objects were visible by a very dim
light proceeding from a horn lantern, the wax candles being
all extinguished.
Amidst this sordid scene sat a man with his clenched
hands resting on his knees, and his eyes bent on the ground.
I knew Mr. Eochester; though the begrimed face, the
disordered dress (his coat hanging loose from one arm, as if
it had been almost torn from his back in a scuffle), the
desperate and scowling countenance, the rough, bristling
hair might well have disguised him. As he moved a chain
clanked ; to his wrists were attached fetters.
' Bridewell ! ' exclaimed Colonel Dent, and the charade
was solved.
A sufficient interval having elapsed for the performers to
resume their ordinary costume, they re-entered the dining-
room. Mr. Eochester led in Miss Ingram ; she was compli-
menting him on his acting.
' Do you know/ said she, ' that, of the three characters, I
liked you in the last best? Oh, had you but lived a few
years earlier, what a gallant gentleman-highwayman you
would have made ! '
1 Is all the soot washed from my face ? ' he asked, turning
it towards her.
222 JANE EYEE
1 Alas, yes ; the more's the pity ! Nothing could be more
becoming to your complexion than that ruffian's rouge/
1 You would like a hero of the road then ? '
' An English hero of the road would be the next best thing
to an Italian bandit ; and that could only be surpassed by a
Levantine pirate/
1 Well, whatever I am, remember you are my wife ; we
were married an hour since, in the presence of all these
witnesses/ She giggled, and her colour rose.
1 Now, Dent/ continued Mr. Eochester, ' it is your turn/
And as the other party withdrew, he and his band took the
vacated seats. Miss Ingram placed herself at her leader's
right hand ; the other diviners filled the chairs on each side
of him and her. I did not now watch the actors ; I no longer
waited with interest for the curtain to rise ; my attention was
absorbed by the spectators ; my eyes, erewhile fixed on the
arch, were now irresistibly attracted to the semicircle of chairs,
What charade Colonel Dent and his party played, what word
they chose, how they acquitted themselves, I no longer
remember ; but I still see the consultation which followed
each scene : I see Mr. Eochester turn to Miss Ingram, and
Miss Ingram to him ; I see her incline her head towards him
till the jetty curls almost touch his shoulder and wave against
his cheek ; I hear their mutual whisperings ; I recall their
interchanged glances; and something even of the feeling
roused by the spectacle returns in memory at this moment.
I have told you, reader, that I had learnt to love Mr.
Eochester ; I could not unlove him now, merely because I
found that he had ceased to notice me — because I might pass
hours in his presence and he would never once turn his eyes
in my direction — because I saw all his attentions appropriated
by a great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem of
her robes as she passed ; who, if ever her dark and imperious
eye fell on me by chance, would withdraw it instantly as from
an object too mean to merit observation. I could not unlove
him, because 1 felt sure he would soon marry this very lady —
because I read daily in her a proud security in his inten-
JANE EYEB 223
tions respecting her — because I witnessed hourly in him
a style of courtship which, if careless and choosing rather
to be sought than to seek, was yet, in its very carelessness,
captivating, and in its very prido, irresistible.
There was nothing to cool or banish love in these cir-
cumstances ; though much to create despair. Much too, you
will think, reader, to engender jealousy ; if a woman, in my
position, could presume to be jealous of a woman in Miss
Ingram's. But I was not jealous; or very rarely; — the
nature of the pain I suffered could not be explained by that
word. Miss Ingram was a mark beneath jealousy : she was
too inferior to excite the feeling. Pardon the seeming paradox ;
I mean what I say. She was very showy, but she was not
genuine : she had a fine person, many brilliant attainments ;
but her mind was poor, her heart barren by nature ; nothing
bloomed spontaneously on that soil; no unforced natural
fruit delighted by its freshness. She was not good ; she
was not original : she used to repeat sounding phrases from
books : she never offered, nor had, an opinion of her own.
She advocated a high tone of sentiment ; but she did not
know the sensations of sympathy and pity ; tenderness and
truth were not in her. Too often she betrayed this, by the
undue vent she gave to a spiteful antipathy she had con-
ceived against little Adele : pushing her away with some
contumelious epithet if she happened to approach her ; some-
times ordering her from the room, and always treating her
with coldness and acrimony. Other eyes besides mine
watched these manifestations of character — watched them
closely, keenly, shrewdly. Yes : the future bridegroom, Mr.
Eochester himself, exercised over his intended a ceaseless
surveillance : and it was from this sagacity — this guarded-
ness of his — this perfect, clear consciousness of his fair one's
defects — this obvious absence of passion in his sentiments
towards her, that my ever-torturing pain arose.
I saw he was going to marry her, for family, perhaps
political reasons; because her rank and connexions suited
him; I felt he had not given her his love, and that her
12
224 JANE EYEE
qualifications were ill adapted to win from him that treasure.
This was the point — this was wliere the nerve was touched
and teased — this was where the fever was sustained and fed :
she could not charm him.
If she had managed the victory at once, and he had
yielded and sincerely laid his heart at her feet, T should have
covered my face, turned to the wall, and (figuratively) have
died to them. If Miss Ingram had been a good and noble
woman, endowed with force, fervour, kindness, sense, I
chould have had one vital struggle with two tigers— jealousy
and despair : then, my heart torn out and devoured, I should
have admired her — acknowledged her excellence, and been
quiet for the rest of my days : and the more absolute her
superiority, the deeper would have been my admiration —
the more truly tranquil my quiescence. But as matters
really stood, to watch Miss Ingram's efforts at fascinating
Mr. Kochester ; to witness their repeated failure — herself
unconscious that they did fail; vainly fancying that each
shaft launched hit the mark, and mfatuatedly pluming her-
self on success, when her pride and self-complacency repelled
further and further what she wished to allure — to witness
this, was to be at once under ceaseless excitation and ruth-
less restraint.
Because, when she failed, I saw how she might have
succeeded. Arrows that continually glanced off from Mr.
Bochester's breast and fell harmless at his feet, might, I
knew, if shot by a surer hand, have quivered keen in his
proud heart — have called love into his stern eye and softness
into his sardonic face; or, better still, without weapons a
silent conquest might have been won.
' Why can she not influence him more, when she is
privileged to draw so near to him ? ' I asked myself. ' Surely
she cannot truly like him, or not like him with true affection.
If she did, she need not coin her smiles so lavishly, flash htfr
glances so unremittingly, manufacture airs so elaborate,
graces so multitudinous. It seems to me that she might, by
merely sitting quietly at his side, saying little and looking
JANE EYBE 225
less, get nigher his heart. I have seen in his face a far
different expression from that which hardens it now while
she is so vivaciously accosting him ; but then it caine of
itself, it was not elicited by meretricious arts and calculated
manoeuvres ; and one had but to accept it— to answer what
he asked without pretension, to address him when needful
without grimace — and it increased and grew kinder and
more genial, and warmed one like a fostering sunbeam.
How will she manage to please him when they are married ?
I do not think she will manage it ; and yet it might be
managed and his wife might, I verily believe, be the very
happiest woman the sun slimes on.'
I have not yet said anything condemnatory of Mr.
Kochester's project of marrying for interest and connexions.
It surprised mo when I first discovered that such was his
intention ; I had thought him a man unlikely to be influenced
by motives so commonplace in his choice of a wife ; but the
longer I considered the position, education, &c., of the parties,
the less I felt justified in judging and blaming either him or
Miss Ingram, for acting in conformity to ideas and principles
instilled into them, doubtless, from their childhood. All
their class held these principles ; I supposed, then, they had
reasons for holding them such as I could not fathom. It
seemed to me that, were I a gentleman like him, I would
take to my bosom only such a wife as I could love ; but the
very obviousness of the advantages to the husband's own
happiness, offered by this plan, convinced me that there
must be arguments against its general adoption of which I
was quite ignorant ; otherwise I felt sure all the world
would act as I wished to act.
But in other points, as well as this, I was growing very
lenient to my master : I was forgetting all his faults, for
which I had once kept a sharp look-out. It had formerly
been my endeavour to study all sides of his character ; to
take the bad with the good ; and from the just weighing of
both to form an equitable judgment. Now I saw no bad.
The sarcasm that had repelled, the harshness that had
226 JANE EYRE
startled me once, were only like keen condiments in a choice
dish : their presence was pungent, but their absence would
be felt as comparatively insipid. And as for the vague
something — was it a sinister or a sorrowful, a designing or a
desponding expression ? — that opened upon a careful observer,
now and then, in his eye and closed again before one could
fathom the strange depth partially disclosed ; that something
which used to make me fear and shrink, as if I had been
wandering amongst volcanic-looking hills, and had suddenly
felt the ground quiver, and seen it gape ; that something I
at intervals beheld still, and with throbbing heart, but not
with palsied nerves. Instead of wishing to shun, I longed
only to dare — to divine it ; and I thought Miss Ingram
happy, because one day she might look into the abyss at her
leisure, explore its secrets, and analyse their nature.
Meantime, while I thought only of my master and his
future bride — saw only them, heard only their discourse,
and considered only their movements of importance — the
rest of the party were occupied with their own separate
interests and pleasures. The ladies Lynn and Ingram
continued to consort in solemn conferences, when they
nodded their two turbans at each other, and held up their
four hands in confronting gestures of surprise, or mystery,
or horror, according to the theme on which their gossip ran,
like a pair of magnified puppets. Mild Mrs. Dent talked
with good-natured Mrs. Eshton; and the two sometimes
bestowed a courteous word or smile on me. Sir George
Lynn, Colonel Dent, and Mr. Eshton discussed politics, or
county affairs, or justice business. Lord Ingram flirted
with Amy Eshton ; Louisa played and sang to and with one
of the Messrs. Lynn ; and Mary Ingram listened languidly
to the gallant speeches of the other. Sometimes all, as with
one consent, suspended their by-play to observe and listen
to the principal actors ; for, after all, Mr. Eochester, and —
because closely connected with him — Miss Ingram, were the
life and soul of the party. If he was absent from the room
an hour, a perceptible dulness seemed to steal over the
JANE EYBB 227
spirits of his guests, and his re-entrance was sure to give a
fresh impulse to the vivacity of conversation.
The want of his animating influence appeared to be
peculiarly felt one day that he had been summoned to
Millcofce on business, and was not likely to return till late.
The afternoon was wet : a walk the party had proposed to
take to see a gipsy camp, lately pitched on a common beyond
Hay, was consequently deferred. Some of the gentlemen
were gone to the stables; the younger ones, together with
the younger ladies, were playing billiards in the billiard-
room. The dowagers Ingram and Lynn sought solace in a
quiet game at cards. Blanche Ingram, after having repelled,
by supercilious taciturnity, some efforts of Mrs. Dent and
Mrs. Eshton to draw her into conversation, had first
murmured over some sentimental tunes and airs on the
piano, and then, having fetched a novel from the library,
had flung herself in haughty lisfclessness on a sofa, and
prepared to beguile, by the spell of fiction, the tedious hours
of absence. The room and the house were silent ; only now
and then the merriment of the billiard players was heard
from above.
It was verging on dusk, and the clock had already given
warning of the hour to dress for dinner, when little Ad&le,
;who knelt by me in the drawing-room window-seat, ex-
claimed,— ' Voila Monsieur Kochester, qui revient ! '
I turned, and Miss Ingram darted forwards from her
sofa ; the others, too, looked up from their several occupa-
tions; for at the same time a crunching of wheels, and a
splashing tramp of horse-hoofs became audible on the wet
gravel. A post-chaise was approaching.
' What can possess him to come home in that style ? '
said Miss Ingram. ' He rode Mesrour (the black horse), did
he not, when he went out ? and Pilot Wcis with him, — what
has he done with the animals ? '
As she said this, she approached her tall person and
ample garments so near the window, that I was obliged to
bend back almost to the breaking of my spine; in her
228 JANE EYEE
eagerness she did not observe me at first, but when she did,
she curled her lip and moved to another casement. The
post-chaise stopped, the driver rang the door bell, and a
gentleman alighted, attired in travelling garb; but it was
not Mr. Eochester ; it was a tall, fashionable-looking man, a
stranger.
1 Provoking ! ' exclaimed Miss Ingram : ' you tiresome
monkey 1 ' (apostrophising Adele) ' who perched you up in
the window to give false intelligence ? ' and she cast on me
an angry glance, as if I were in fault.
Some parleying was audible in the hall, and soon the
new-comer entered. He bowed to Lady Ingram, as deeming
her the eldest lady present.
1 It appears I come at an inopportune time, madam/ said
he ; ' when my friend, Mr. Eochestcr, is from home ; but I
arrive from a very long journey, and I think I may presume
so far on old and intimate acquaintance as to instal myself
here till he returns/
His manner was polite ; his accent, in speaking, struck
me as being somewhat unusual, — not precisely foreign, but
still not altogether English; his age might bo about Mr.
Eochester's, — between thirty and forty ; his complexion was
singularly sallow ; otherwise he was a fine-looking man, at
first sight especially. On closer examination you detected
something in his face that displeased ; or rather, that failed
to please. His features were regular, but too relaxed ; his
eye was large and well cut, but the life looking out of it was
a tame, vacant life — at least so I thought.
The sound of the dressing-bell dispersed the party. It
was not till after dinner that I saw him again; he then
seemed quite at his ease. But I liked his physiognomy even
less than before ; it struck me as being, at the same time,
unsettled and inanimate. His eye wandered, and had no
meaning in its wandering ; this gave him an odd look, such
as I never remembered to have seen. For a handsome and
not an unamiable-looking man, he repelled me exceedingly ;
there was no power in that smooth-skinned face of a full
JANE EYEB 229
oval shape ; no firmness in that aquiline nose, and small
cherry mouth ; there was no thought on the low, even fore-
head ; no command in that blank, brown eye.
As I sat in my usual nook, and looked at him with the
light of the girandoles on the mantelpiece beaming full over
him — for he occupied an arm-chair, drawn close to the fire,
and kept shrinking still nearer, as if he were cold — I com-
pared him with Mr. Eochester. I think (with deference be
it spoken) the contrast could not be much greater between a
sleek gander and a fierce falcon : between a meek sheep and
the rough-coated keen-eyed dog, its guardian.
He had spoken of Mr. Kochester as an old friend. A
curious friendship theirs must have been : a pointed illus-
tration, indeed, of the old adage that ' extremes meet/
Two or three of the gentlemen sat near him, and I
caught at times scraps of their conversation across the room.
At first I could not make much sense of what I heard ; for
the discourse of Louisa Eshton and Mary Ingram, who sat
nearer to me, confused the fragmentary sentences that
reached me at intervals. These last were discussing the
stranger : they both called him a ' beautiful man.' Louisa
said he was ' a love of a creature,' and she ' adored him ' :
and Mary instanced his ' pretty little mouth, and nice nose/
as her ideal of the charming.
' And what a sweet-tempered forehead he has ! ' cried
Louisa, — ' so smooth — none of those frowning irregularities
I dislike so much : and such a placid eye and sinile ! '
And then, to my great relief, Mr. Henry Lynn summoned
them to the other side of the room, to settle some point
about the deferred excursion to Hay Common.
1 was now able to concentrate my attention on the group
by the fire, and I presently gatheied that the new-coiner
was called Mr. Mason : then I learnt that he was but just
arrived in England, and that he came from some hot
country : which was the reason, doubtless, his face was so
sallow, and that he sat so near the hearth, and wore a surtout
in the house. Presently the words, Jamaica, Kingston,
230 JANE EYEB
Spanish Town, indicated the West Indies as his residence ;
and it was with no little surprise I gathered, ere long, that
he had there first seen and become acquainted with Mr.
Eochester. He spoke of his friend's dislike of the burning
heats, the hurricanes, and rainy seasons of that region. I
knew Mr. Rochester had been a traveller : Mrs. Fairfax had
said so ; but I thought the continent of Europe had bounded
Ins wanderings : till now I had never heard a hint given of
visits to more distant shores.
I was pondering these things, when an incident, and
a somewhat unexpected one, broke the thread of my
musings. Mr. Mason, shivering as some one chanced to
open the door, asked for more coal to be put on the fire,
which had burnt out its flame, though its mass of cinder still
shone hot and red The footman who brought the coal, in
going out, stopped near Mr. Eshton's chair, and said some-
thing to him in a low voice, of which I heard only the words,
' old woman/ — ' quite troublesome.1
' Tell her she shall be put in the stocks if she does not
take herself off,' replied the magistrate.
1 No — stop ! ' interrupted Colonel Dent. ' Don't send
her away, Eshton; we might turn the thing to account;
better consult the ladies.' And speaking aloud, he continued,
1 Ladies, you talked of going to Hay Common to visit the
gipsy camp ; Sam, here, says that one of the old Mother
Bunches is in the servants' hall at this moment, and insists
upon being brought in before "the quality," to tell them
their fortunes. Would you like to see her ? '
' Surely, colonel/ cried Lady Ingram, ' you would not
encourage such a low impostor. Dismiss her, by all means,
at once ! '
' But I cannot persuade her to go away, my lady,' said the
footman ; ' nor can any of the servants : Mrs. Fairfax is with
her just now, entreating her to be gone ; but she has taken
a chair in the chimney-corner, and says nothing shall stir
her from it till she gets leave to come in here.'
' What does she want ? ' asked Mrs. Eshton.
JANE EYRE 231
' " To tell the gentry their fortunes," she says, ma'am ;
and she swears she must and will do it.'
' What is she like ? ' inquired the Misses Eshton in a
breath.
' A shockingly ugly old creature, miss ; almost as black
as a crock/
1 Why, she's a real sorceress ! ' cried Frederick Lynn.
' Let us have her in, of course/
' To be sure,' rejoined his brother ; ' it would be a thousand
pities to throw away such a chance of fun.'
' My dear boys, what are you thinking about ? ' exclaimed
Mrs. Lynn.
'I cannot possibly countenance any such inconsistent
proceeding,' chimed in the Dowager Ingram.
'Indeed, mamma, but you can — and will/ pronounced
the haughty voice of Blanche, as she turned round on the
piano-stool ; where till now she had sat silent, apparently
examining sundry sheets of music. ' I have a curiosity to
hear my fortune told: therefore, Sam, order the beldame
forwards.'
' My darling Blanche 1 recollect '
' I do — I recollect all you can suggest ; and I must have
my will — quick, Sam ! '
* Yes — yes — yes ! ' cried all the juveniles, both ladies
and gentlemen. '.Let her come — it will be excellent
sport ! '
The footman still lingered. ' She looks such a rough
one/ said he.
' Go ! ' ejaculated Miss Ingram, and the man went.
Excitement instantly seized the whole party : a running
fire of raillery and jests was proceeding when Sam re-
turned.
' She won't come now/ said he. ' She says it's not her
mission to appear before the "vulgar herd" (them's her
words). I must show her into a room by herself, and
then those who wish to consult her must go to her one
by one/
232 JANE EYRE
1 You see now, my queenly Blanche,' began Lady Ingram,
' she encroaches. Be advised, my angel girl — and '
' Show her into the library, of course/ cut in the ' angel
girl/ ' It is not my mission to listen to her before the
vulgar herd either : I mean to have her all to myself. Is
there a fire in the library ? '
1 Yes, ma'am — but she looks such a tinkler/
I Cease that chatter, blockhead ! and do my bidding/
Again Sam vanished ; and mystery, animation, expecta-
tion rose to full flow once more.
' She's ready now/ said the footman, as he reappeared.
* She wishes to know who will be her first visitor.'
I 1 think I had better just look in upon her before any of
the ladies go/ said Colonel Dent.
* Tell her, Sam, a gentleman is coming/
Sam went and returned.
1 She says, sir, that she'll have no gentlemen ; they need
not trouble themselves to come near her : nor/ he added,
with difficulty suppressing a titter, ' any ladies either, except
the youn^ and single.'
1 By Jove, she has taste ! ' exclaimed Henry Lynn.
Miss Ingram rose solemnly : * I go first/ she said, in a
tone which might have befitted the leader of a forlorn hope,
mounting a breach in the van of his men.
' Oh, my best ! oh, my dearest ! pause — reflect ! ' was
her mamma's cry ; but she swept past her in stately silence,
passed through the door which Colonel Dent held open, and
we heard her enter the library.
A comparative silence ensued. Lady Ingram thought it
Me cas' to wring her hands: which she did accordingly.
Miss Mary declared she felt, for her part, she never dared
venture. Amy and Louisa Eshton tittered under their
breath, and looked a little frightened.
The minutes passed very slowly : fifteen were counted
before the library -door again opened. Miss Ingram returned
to us through the arch.
Would she laugh? Would she take it as a joke? All
JANE EYBE 233
eyes met her with a glance of curiosity, and she met all eyes
with one of rebuff and coldness : she looked neither flurried
nor merry ; she walked stiffly to her seat, and took it ip
silence.
1 Well, Blanche ? ' said Lord Ingram.
' What did she say, sister ? ' asked Mary.
' What did you think ? How do you feel ? Is she a real
fortune-teller ? ' demanded the Misses Eshton.
' Now, now, good people,1 returned Miss Ingram, ' don't
press upon me. Beally your organs of wonder and credulity
are easily excited : you seem by the importance you all— my
good mamma included — ascribe to this matter — absolutely
to believe we have a genuine witch in the house, who is in
close alliance with the old gentleman. I have seen a gipsy-
vagabond ; she has practised in hackneyed fashion the
science of palmistry, and told me what such people usually
tell. My whim is gratified ; and now I think Mr. Eshton
will do well to put the hag in the stocks to-morrow morning,
as he threatened/
Miss Ingram took a book, leant back in her chair, and
so declined further conversation. I watched her for nearly
half an hour : during all that time she never turned a page,
and her face grew momently darker, more dissatisfied, and
more sourly expressive of disappointment. She had obviously
not heard anything to her advantage : and it seemed to me,
from her prolonged fit of gloom and taciturnity, that she
herself, notwithstanding her professed indifference, attached
undue importance to whatever revelations had been made her.
Meantime, Mary Ingram, Amy and Louisa Eshton,
declared they dared not go alono ; and yet they all wished to
go. A negotiation was opened through the medium of the
ambassador, S.im; and after much pacing to and fro, till,
I think, the said Sam's calves must have ached with the
exercise, permission was at last, with great difficulty
extorted from the rigorous Sibyl, for the three to wait upon
her in a body.
Their visit was not so still as Miss Ingram's had been :
234 JANE EYEE
we heard hysterical giggling and little shrieks proceeding
from the library ; and at the end of about twenty minutes
they burst the door open, and came running across the hall,
as if they were half-scared out of their wits.
' I'm sure she is something not right ! ' they cried one and
all. ' She told us such things 1 She knows all about us ! '
and they sank breathless into the various seats the gentlemen
hastened to bring them.
Pressed for further explanation they declared she had
told them of things they had said and done when they were
mere children ; described books and ornaments they had in
their boudoirs at home ; keepsakes that different relations had
presented to them. They affirmed that she had even divined
their thoughts, and had whispered in the ear of each the
name of the person she liked best in the world, and informed
them of what they most wished for.
Here the gentlemen interposed with earnest petitions to
be further enlightened on these two last-named points ; but
they got only blushes, ejaculations, tremors, and titters, in
return for their importunity. The matrons, meantime, offered
vinaigrettes and wielded fans; and again and again re-
iterated the expression of their concern that their warning
had not been taken in time ; and the elder gentlemen
laughed, and the younger urged their services on the agitated
fair ones.
In the midst of the tumult, and while my eyes and ears
were fully engaged in the scene before me, I heard a hem
close at my elbow : I turned and saw Sam.
'If you please, miss, the gipsy declares that there is
another young single lady in the room who has not been to
her yet, and she swears she will not go till she has seen all.
I thought it must be you : there is no one else for it. What
shall I tell her?1
' Oh, I will go by all means/ I answered ; and I was glad
of the unexpected opportunity to gratify my much-excited
curiosity. I slipped out of the room, unobserved by any eye
— for the company were gathered in one mass about the
JANE EYEE 235
trembling trio just returned— and I closed the door quietly
behind me.
' If you like, miss/ said Sam, ' I'll wait in the hall for
you ; and if she frightens you, just call and I'll come in/
1 No, Sam, return to the kitchen : I am not in. the least
afraid/ Nor was I ; but I was a good deal interested and
excited.
236 JANE EYEB
OHAPTEE XIX
THE library looked tranquil enough as I entered it, and the
Sibyl — if Sibyl she were — was seated snugly enough in an
easy chair at the chimney-corner. She had on a red cloak
and a black bonnet : or rather, a broad-brimmed gipsy hat,
tied down with a striped handkerchief under her chin.
An extinguished candle stood on the table: she was
bending over the fire, and seemed reading in a little black
book, like a prayer-book, by the light of the blaze : she
muttered the words to herself, as most old women do, while
she read ; she did not desist immediately on my entrance : it
appeared she wished to finish a paragraph.
I stood on the rug and warmed my hands, which
were rather cold with sitting at a distance from the drawing-
room fire. I felt now as composed as ever I did in my life :
there was nothing indeed in the gipsy's appearance to trouble
one's calm. She shut her book and slowly looked up ; her
hat-brim partially shaded her face, yet I could see as she
raised it, that it was a strange one. It looked all brown
and black : elf-locks bristled out from beneath a white band
which passed under her chin, and came half over her cheeks
or rather jaws ; her eye confronted me at once, with a bold
and direct gaze.
1 Well, and you want your, fortune told ? ' she said in a
voice as decided as her glance, as harsh as her features.
' I don't care about it, mother ; you may please yourself ;
but I ought to warn you, I have no faith.'
' It's like your impudence to say so : I expected it of you ;
I heard it in your step as you crossed the threshold.'
1 Did you ? You've a quick ear.'
JANE EYBE 237
1 1 have ; and a quick eye, and a quick brain.'
' You need them all in your trade/
' I do ; especially when I've customers like you to deal
with. Why don't you tremble ? '
' I'm not cold.'
' Why don't you turn pale ? '
' I am not sick/
' Why don't you consult my art/
'I'm not silly/
The old crone ' nichered ' a laugh under her bonnet and
bandage : she then drew out a short, black pipe, and lighting
it began to smoke. Having indulged a while in this seda-
tive, she raised her bent body, took the pipe from her lips,
and while gazing steadily at the fire, said very deliberately :
— ' You are cold ; you are sick ; and you are silly/
' Prove it,' I rejoined.
' I will ; in few words. You are cold, because you are
alone : no contact strikes the fire from you that is in you.
You are sick : because the best of feelings, the highest and
the sweetest given to man, keeps far away from you. You
are silly, because, suffer as you may, you will not beckon it
to approach ; nor will you stir one step to meet it where it
waits you/
She again put her short, black pipe to her lips, and re-
newed her smoking with vigour.
' You might say all that to almost any one who, you
knew, lived as a solitary dependant in a great house/
' I might say it to almost any one ; but would it be true
of almost any one ? '
1 In my circumstances/
' Yes ; just so, in your circumstances : but find me
another precisely placed as you are/
' It would be easy to find you thousands/
1 You could scarcely find me one. If you knew
it, you are peculiarly situated : very near happiness ;
yes ; within reach of it. The materials are all prepared ;
there only wants a movement to combine them. Chance
238 JANE EYEB
laid them somewhat apart ; let them be once approached
and bliss results.'
'I don't understand enigmas. I never could guess a
riddle in my life.'
1 If you wish me to speak more plainly, show me your
palm.'
1 And I must cross it with silver, I suppose ? '
1 To be sure.'
I gave her a shilling : she put it into an old stocking-foot
which she took out of her pocket, and having tied it round
and returned it, she told me to hold out my hand. I did.
She approached her face to the palm, and pored over it with-
out touching it.
' It is too fine,' said she. ' I can make nothing of such a
hand as that ; almost without lines : besides, what is in a
palm ? Destiny is not written there.'
I 1 believe you,' said I.
' No,' she continued, ' it is in the face : on the forehead,
about the eyes, in the eyes themselves, in the lines of the
mouth. Kneel, and lift up your head.'
' Ah ! now you are coming to reality,' I said as I obeyed
her. ' I shall begin to put some faith in you presently.'
I knelt within half a yard of her. She stirred the fire, so
that a ripple of light broke from the disturbed coal : the glare,
however, as she sat, only threw her face into deeper shadow :
mine, it illumined.
' I wonder with what feelings you came to me to-night,'
she said, when she had examined me a while. ' I wonder
what thoughts are busy in your heart during all the hours
you sit in yonder room with the fine people flitting before you
like shapes in a magic lantern : just as little sympathetic
communion passing between you and them, as if they were
really mere shadows of human forms and not the actual
substance.'
' I feel tired often, sleepy sometimes ; but seldom sad.'
' Then you have some secret hope to buoy you up and
please you with whispers of the future ? '
JANE EYEE 239
1 Not I. The utmost I hope is, to save money enough
out of my earnings to set up a school some day in a little
house rented by myself.1
' A mean nutriment for the spirit to exist on : and sitting
in that window-seat (you see I know your habits) '
' You have learned them from the servants/
1 Ah ! you think yourself sharp. Well — perhaps I have :
to speak truth, I have an acquaintance with one of them —
Mrs. Poole '
I started to my feet when I heard the name.
1 You have — have you ? ' thought I ; ' there is diablerie in
the business after all, then ! '
' Don't bo alarmed/ continued the strange being ; ' she's
a safe hand, is Mrs. Poole : close and quiet : any one may
repose confidence in her. But, as I was saying : sitting in
that window-seat, do you think of nothing but your future
school ? Have you no present interest in any of the com-
pany who occupy the sofas and chairs before you ? Is there
not one face you study? One figuie whose movements you
follow with, at least, curiosity ? '
' I like to observe all the faces, and all the figures/
' But do you never single one from the rest — or it may
be, two?'
' I do frequently ; when the gestures or looks of a pair
seem telling a tale : it amuses me to watch them.'
' What tale do you like best to hear ? '
' Oh, I have not much choice ! They generally run on
the same theme — courtship ; and promise to end in the same
catastrophe — marriage.'
' And do you like that monotonous theme ? '
I Positively, I don't care about it : it is nothing to me.'
' Nothing to you ? When a lady, young and full of life
and health, charming with beauty and endowed with the gifts
of rank and fortune, sits and smiles in the eyes of a gentle-
man you '
I 1 what ? '
' You know — and, perhaps, think well of ? '
240 JANE EYKE
1 1 don't know the gentlemen here. I have scarcely inter-
changed a syllable with one of them ; and as to thinking well
of them, I consider some respectable and stately, and middle-
aged, and others young, dashing, handsome and lively : but
certainly they are all at liberty to be the recipients of whose
smiles they please, without my feeling disposed to consider
the transaction of any moment to me.1
' You don't know the gentlemen here ? You have not
exchanged a syllable with one of them ? Will you say that
of the master of the house ? '
I He is not at home/
' A profound remark ! A most ingenious quibble ! He
went to Millcote this morning, and will be back here to-night,
or to-morrow : does that circumstance exclude him from
the list of your acquaintance — blot him, as it were, out of
existence ? '
' No : but I can scarcely see what Mr. Rochester has to
do with the theme you had introduced.1
I 1 was talking of ladies smiling in the eyes of gentlemen ;
and of late so many smiles have been shed into Mr.
Eochester's eyes that they overflow like two cups filled
above the bnm : have you never remarked that?'
' Mr. Rochester has a right to enjoy the society of his
guests.'
' No question about his right : but have you never ob-
served that, of all the tales told here about matrimony, Mr.
Rochester has been favoured with the most lively and the
most continuous ? '
' The eagerness of a listener quickens the tongue of a
narrator.' I said this rather to myself than to the gipsy ;
whose strange talk, voice, manner, had by this time wrapped
me in a kind of dream. One unexpected sentence came from
her lips after another, till I got involved in a web of mystifi-
cation ; and wondered what unseen spirit had been sitting
for weeks by my heart watching its workings and taking
record of every pulse.
'Eagerness of a listener 1' repeated she: 'yes; Mr.
JANE EYEB 241
Rochester has sat by the hour, his ear inclined to the
fascinating lips that took such delight in their task of com-
municating ; and Mr. Kochester was so willing to receive
and looked so grateful for the pastime given him : you have
noticed this ? '
4 Grateful ! I cannot remember detecting gratitude in
his face/
* Detecting ! You have analysed, then. And what did
you detect, if not gratitude ? '
I said nothing.
* You have seen love : have you not ? — and, looking for-
ward, you have seen him married and beheld his bride
happy?'
* Humph ! Not exactly. Your witch's skill is rather at
fault sometimes.'
1 What the devil have you seen, then ? '
1 Never mind : I came here to inquire, not to confess. Is
it known that Mr. Rochester is to be married ? '
1 Yes ; and to the beautiful Miss Ingram.'
1 Shortly ? '
'Appearances would warrant that conclusion; and, no
doubt (though, with an audacity that wants chastising out of
you, you seem to question it), they will bo a superlatively
happy pair. He must love such a handsome, noble, witty,
accomplished lady ; and probably she loves him : or, if not
his person, at least his purse. I know she considers the
Rochester estate eligible to the last degree; though (God
pardon me !) I told her something on that point about an
hour ago, which made her look wondrous grave . the corners
of her mouth fell half an inch. I would advise her black-
aviced suitor to look out : if another comes with a longer, or
clearer rent-roll, — he's dished '
' But, mother, I did not come to hear Mr. Rochester's
fortune : I came to hear my own ; and you have told me
nothing of it.'
' Your fortune is yet doubtful : when I examined your
face, one trait contradicted another. Chance ha^meted you
242 JANE EYEB
a measure of happiness : that I know. I knew it before I
came here this evening. She has laid it carefully on one side
for you. I saw her do it. It depends on yourself to stretch
out your hand, and take it up ; but whether you will do so,
is the problem I study. Kneel again on the rug.1
' Don't keep me long ; the fire scorches me.'
I knelt. She did not stoop towards me, but only gazed
leaning back in her chair. She began muttering, — 'The
flame flickers in the eye, the eye shines like dew : it looks
soft and full of feeling; it smiles at my jargon: it is
susceptible; impression follows impression through its
clear sphere; where it ceases to smile, it is sad; an
unconscious lassitude weighs on the lid: that signifies
melancholy resulting from loneliness. It turns from me ; it
will not suffer farther scrutiny ; it seems to deny, by a mock-
ing glance, the truth of the discoveries I have already made,
— to disown the charge both of sensibility and chagrin : its
pride and reserve only confirm me in my opinion. The eye
is favourable.
' As to the mouth, it delights at times in laughter ; it is
disposed to impart all that the brain conceives; though I
daresay it would be silent on much the heart experiences.
Mobile and flexible, it was never intended to be compressed in
the eternal silence of solitude : it is a mouth which should
speak much and smile often and have human affection for
its interlocutor. That feature too is propitious.
' I see no enemy to a fortunate issue but in the brow ; and
that brow professes to say, — " I can live alone, if self-respect
and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul
to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure, born with me,
which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be
withheld ; or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give."
The forehead declares, " Eeason sits firm and holds the reins,
and she will not let the feelings burst away and hurry her to
wild chasms. The passions may rage furiously, like true
heathens, as they are ; and the desires may imagine all sorts
of vain things : but judgment shall still have the last word
JANE EYEB 243
in every argument, and the casting vote in every decision.
Strong wind, earthquake-shock, and fire may pass by : but
I shall follow the guiding of that still small voice which
interprets the dictates of conscience."
1 Well said, forehead ; your declaration shall be respected.
I have formed my plans — right plans I deem them — and in
them I have attended to the claims of conscience, the
counsels of reason. I know how soon youth would fade
and bloom perish, if, in the cup of bliss offered, but one dreg
of shame, or one flavour of remorse were detected ; and I
do not want sacrifice, sorrow, dissolution — such is not my
taste. I wish to foster, not to blight — to earn gratitude, not
to wring tears of blood — no, nor of brine : my harvest must be
in smiles, in endearments, in sweet. — That will do. I think
I rave in a kind of exquisite delirium. I should wish now
to protract this moment ad infinitwn ; but I dare not. So
far I have governed myself thoroughly. I have acted as
[ inwardly swore I would act ; but farther might try me
beyond my strength. Eise, Miss Eyre : leave nie ; " the play
is played out." '
Where was I? Did I wake or sleep? Had I been
dreaming? Did I dream still? The old woman's voice
had changed : her accent, her gesture, and all were familiar
to me as my own face in a glass — as the speech of my own
tongue. I got up, but did not go. I looked ; I stirred the
fire, and I looked again : but she drew her bonnet and her
bandage closer about her face, and again beckoned me to
depart. The flame illuminated her hand stretched out:
roused now, and on the alert for discoveries, I at once
noticed that hand. It was no more the withered limb of eld
than my own; it was a rounded supple member, with
smooth fingers, symmetrically turned ; a broad ring flashed
on the little finger, and stooping forward, I looked at it, and
saw a gem I had seen a hundred times before. Again I
looked at the face ; which was no longer turned from me —
on the contrary, the bonnet was doffed, the bandage displaced,
fhe head advanced.
244 JANE EYEE
4 Well, Jane, do you know me ? ' asked the familiar voice.
4 Only take off the red cloak, sir, and then '
4 But the string is in a knot— help me.'
1 Break it, sir.1
1 There, then—" Off, ye lendings ! " '
And Mr. Eochester stepped out of his disguise.
4 Now, sir, what a strange idea ! '
* But well carried out, eh ? Don't you think so ? '
4 With the ladies you must have managed well.1
'But not with you?'
4 You did not act the character of a gipsy with me.'
* What character did I act ? My own ? '
4 No ; some unaccountable one. In short, I believe you
have been trying to draw me out — or in; you have been
talking nonsense to make me talk nonsense. It is scarcely
fair, sir/
4 Do you forgive me, Jane ? '
4 1 cannot tell till I have thought it all over. If, on re-
flection, I find I have fallen into no great absurdity, I
shall try to forgive you ; but it was not right.'
* Oh ! you have been very correct — very careful, very
sensible.'
I reflected, and thought, on the whole, I had. It was a
comfort ; but, indeed, I had been on my guard almost from
the beginning of the interview. Something of masquerade I
suspected. I knew gipsies and fortune-tellers did not express
themselves as this seeming old woman had expressed her-
self ; besides, I had noted her feigned voice, her anxiety to
conceal her features. But my mind had been running on
Grace Poole — that living enigma, that mystery of mysteries,
as I considered her. I had never thought of Mr. Eochester.
4 Well,' said he, 4 what are you musing about ? What
does that grave smile signify ? '
4 Wonder and self-congratulation, sir. I have your per-
mission to retire now, I suppose ? '
4 No; stay a moment; and tell me what the people in.
the drawing-room yonder are doing/
JANE EYEE 245
1 Discussing the gipsy, I daresay.
' Sit down ! — Let me hear what they said about me.1
' I had better not stay long, sir ; it must be near eleven
o'clock. Oh ! are you aware, Mr. Eochester, that a stranger
has arrived here since you left this morning ? '
' A stranger ! — no ; who can it be ? I expected no one ;
is he gone ? '
' No ; he said he had known you long, and that he
could take the liberty of installing himself here till you
returned/
1 The devil he did ! Did he give his name ? '
' His name is Mason, sir ; and he comes from the West
Indies ; from Spanish Town, in Jamaica, I think.'
Mr. Boehester was standing near me ; he had taken my
hand, as if to lead me to a chair. As I spoke, he gave my
wrist a convulsive grip ; the smile on his lips froze : appa-
rently a spasm caught his breath.
1 Mason ! —the West Indies ! ' he said, in the tone one
might fancy a speaking automaton to enounce its single
words ; ' Mason ! — the West Indies ! ' he reiterated ; and he
went over the syllables three times, growing, in the intervals
of speaking, whiter than ashes : he hardly seemed to know
what he was doing.
' Do you feel ill, sir ? ' I inquired.
' Jane, I've got a blow ; — I've got a blow, Jane ! ' he
staggered.
1 Oh ! — lean on me, sir.'
' Jane, you offered me your shoulder once before ; let me
have it now.'
' Yes, sir, yes ; and my arm.'
He sat down, and made me sit beside him. Holding my
hand in both his own, he chafed it ; gazing on me, at the
same time, with the most troubled and dreary look.
' My little friend ! ' said he, ' I wish I were in a quiet
island with only you ; and trouble, and danger, and hideous
recollections removed from me.'
' Can I help you, sir ? — I'd give my life to serve you.'
246 JANE EYKE
1 Jane, if aid is wanted, I'll seek it at your hands ; I
promise you that.1
' Thank you, sir ; tell me what to do, — I'll try, at least,
to do it.1
1 Fetch me now, Jane, a glass of wine from the dining-
room ; they will be at supper there ; and tell me if Mason is
with them, and what he is doing/
I went. I found all the party in the dining-room at
supper, as Mr. Kochester had said ; they were not seated at
table, — the supper was arranged on the side-board; each
had taken what he chose, and they stood about here and
there in groups, their plates and glasses in their hands.
Every one seemed in high glee ; laughter and conversation
were general and animated. Mr. Mason stood near the fire,
talking to Colonel and Mrs. Dent, and appeared as merry as
any of them. I filled a wine-glass (I saw Miss Ingram watch
me frowningly as I did so : she thought I was taking a liberty,
I daresay), and I returned to the library.
Mr. Eochester's extreme pallor had disappeared, and he
looked once more firm and stern. He took the glass from
my hand.
' Here is to your health, ministrant spirit 1 ' he said : he
swallowed the contents and returned it to me. ' What are
they doing, Jane ? '
* Laughing and talking, sir.
' They don't look grave and mysterious, as if they had
heard something strange ? '
' Not at all — they are full of jests and gaiety.'
'And Mason?1
' He was laughing too.'
1 If all these people came in a body and spat at me, what
would you do, Jane ? '
1 Turn them out of the room, sir, if I could.'
He half smiled. ' But if I were to go to them, and they
only looked at me coldly, and whispered sneeringly amongst
each other, and then dropt off and left me one by one, what
then ? Would you go with them ? '
JANE BYEB 247
* I rather think not, sir : I should have more pleasure in
staying with you/
1 To comfort me ? '
' Yes, sir, to comfort you, as well as I could.'
' And if they laid you under a ban for adhering to me ? '
' I, probably, should know nothing about their ban ; and
if I did, I should care nothing about it.'
I Then, you could dare censure for my sake ? '
I 1 could dare it for the sake of any friend who deserved
my adherence ; as you, I ani sure, do.'
' Go back now into the room ; step quietly up to Mason,
and whisper in his ear that Mr. Eochester is come and
wishes to see him : show him in here and then leave me/
'Yes, sii /
I did his behest. The company all stared at me as I
passed straight among them. I sought Mr. Mason, delivered
the message, and preceded him from the room : I ushered
him into the library, and then I went upstairs.
At a late hour, after I had been in bed some time, I
heard the visitors repair to their chambers : I distinguished
Mr. Eochester's voice, and heard him say, * This way,
Mason ; this is your room/
He spoke cheerfully : the gay tones set my heart at ease
I was soon asleep.
248 JANE EYBE
CHAPTEE XX
I HAD forgotten to draw my curtain, which I usually did ;
and also to let down my window-blind. The consequence
was, that when the moon, which was full and bright (for the
night was fine), came in her course to that space in the sky
opposite my casement, and looked in at me through the
unveiled panes, her glorious gaze roused me. Awaking in
the dead of night, I opened my eyes on her disk — silver-
white and ciystal-clear. It was beautiful, but too solemn : I
half rose, arid stretched my arm to draw the curtain.
Good God! What a cry!
The night — its silence — its rest, was rent in twain, by a
savage, a sharp, a shrilly sound that ran from end to end of
Thornfield Hall.
My pulse stopped : my heart stood still ; my stretched
arm was paralysed. The cry died, and was not renewed.
Indeed, whatever being uttered that fearful shriek could not
soon repeat it : not the widest-winged condor on the Andes
could, twice in succession, send out such a yell from the
cloud shrouding his eyrie. The thing delivering such utter-
ance must rest ere it could repeat the effort.
It came out of the third story; for it passed overhead.
And overhead — yes, in the room just above my chamber
ceiling — I now heard a struggle : a deadly one it seemed
from the noise ; and a half-smothered voice shouted — ' Help !
help ! help ! ' three times rapidly.
' Will no one come ? ' it cried ; and then, while the stag-
gering and stamping went on wildly, I distinguished through
plank and plaster : — ' Eochester ! Eochestei- ! for God's sake,
come ! '
JANE EYEE 249
A chamber door opened : some one ran, or rushed, along
the gallery. Another step stamped on the flooring above, and
something fell ; and there was silence.
I had put on some clothes, though horror shook all my
limbs : I issued from my apartment. The sleepers were all
aroused : ejaculations, terrified murmurs, sounded in every
room ; door after door unclosed : one looked out and another
looked out ; the gallery filled. Gentlemen and ladies alike had
quitted their beds ; and ' Oh I what is it ? ' — ' Who is hurt ? '
— ' What has happened? '— ' Fetch a light ! '-- ' Is it fire ? '—
' Are there robbers ? ' — ' Where shall we run ? ' was demanded
confusedly on all hands. But for the moonlight they would
have been i n complete darkness. They ran to and fro ; they
crowded together; some sobbed, some stumbled: the con-
fusion was inextricable.
' Where the devil is Eochester ? ' cried Colonel Dent. ' I
cannot find him in his bed.1
' Here ! here I ' was shouted in return. ' Be composed,
aU of you : I'm coming/
And the door at the end of the gallery opened, and Mr.
Eochester advanced with a candle : he had just descended
from the upper story. One of the ladies ran to him directly ;
she seized his arm : it was Miss Ingram.
' What awful event has taken place ? ' said she. ' Speak !
let us know the worst at once ! '
' But don't pull me down or strangle me/ he replied : for
the Misses Eshton were clinging about him now ; and the
two dowagers, in vast white wrappers, were bearing down on
him like ships in full sail.
' All's right !— all's right ! ' he cried. ' It's a mere
rehearsal of Much Ado About Nothing. Ladies, keep off ;
or I shall wax dangerous/
And dangerous he looked : his black eyes darted sparks.
Calming himself by an effort, he added : — ' A servant 1ms had
the nightmare ; that is all. She's an excitable, nervous
person : she construed her dream into an apparition, or
something of that sort, no doubt ; and has taken a fit with
250 JANE EYEE
fright. Now, then, I must see you all back into your rooms ;
for, till the house is settled she cannot be looked after.
Gentlemen, have the goodness to set the ladies the example.
Miss Ingram, I am sure you will not fail in, evincing
superiority to idle terrors. Amy and Louisa, return to your
nests like a pair of doves, as you are. Mesdames ' (to the
dowagers), ' you will take cold to a dead certainty, if you stay
in this chill gallery any longer.'
And so, by dint of alternate coaxing and commanding, he
contrived to get them all once more enclosed in their separate
dormitories. I did not wait to be ordered back to mine ; but
retreated unnoticed : as unnoticed I had left it.
Not, however, to go to bed : on the contrary, I began and
dressed myself carefully. The sounds I had heard after the
scream, and the words that had been uttered, had probably
been heard only by me ; for they had proceeded from the
room above mine : but they assured me that it was not a
servant's dream which had thus struck horror through the
house ; and that the explanation Mr. Eochester had given
was merely an invention framed to pacify his guests. I
dressed, then, to be ready for emergencies. When dressed,
I sat a long time by the window, looking out over the silent
grounds and silvered fields, and waiting for I knew not what.
It seemed to me that some event must follow the strange ciy,
struggle, and call.
No : stillness returned : each murmur and movement
ceased gradually, and in about an hour Thornfield Hall was
again as hushed as a desert. It seemed that sleep and night
had resumed their empire. Meantime the moon declined :
she was about to set. Not liking to sit in the cold and
darkness, I thought I would lie down on my bed, dressed as
I was. I left the window, and moved with little noise across
the carpet ; as I stooped to take off my shoes, a cautious
hand tapped low at the door.
' Am I wanted ? ' I asked.
'Are you up?' asked the voice I expected to hear, viz.
my master's.
JANE EYEE 251
1 Yes, sir.'
1 And dressed ? f
' Yes.1
1 Come out, then, quietly/
I obeyed. Mr. Bochester stood in the gallery, holding a
light.
I 1 want you/ he said : ' come this way : take your time
and make no noise/
My slippers were thin : I could walk the matted floor as
softly as a cat. He glided up the gallery and up the stairs,
and stopped in the dark, low corridor of the fateful third story :
I had followed and stood at his side.
' Have you a sponge in your room ? ' he asked in a
whisper.
' Yes, sir.'
' Have you any salts— volatile salts ? '
' Yes.'
' Go back and fetch both.'
I returned, sought the sponge on the wash-stand, the
salts in my drawer, and once more retraced my steps. He
still waited ; he held a key in his hand : approaching one of
the small, black doors, he put it in the lock ; he paused and
addressed me again.
' You don't turn sick at the sight of blood ? '
' I think I shall not : I have never been tried yet.'
I felt a thrill while I answered him ; but no coldness,
and no faintness.
'Just give me your hand,' he said; 'it will not do to
risk a fainting fit.'
I put my fingers into his. ' Warm and steady,' was his
remark : he turned the key and opened the door.
I saw a room I remembered to have seen before ; the
day Mrs. FairfaK showed me over the house : it was hung
with tapestry ; but the tapestry was now looped up in one
part, and there was a door apparent, which had then been
concealed. This door was open ; a light shone out of the
room within : I heard thence a snarling, snatching sound,
252 JANE EYRE
almost like a dog quarrelling. Mr. Eochester, putting down
his candle, said to me, ' Wait a minute,' and he went forward
to the inner apartment. A shout of laughter greeted his
entrance ; noisy at first, and terminating in Grace Poole's
own goblin ha I ha ! She then was there. He made some
sort of arrangement, without speaking : though I heard a
low voice address him : he came out and closed the door
behind him.
' Here, Jane ! ' he said ; and I walked round to the other
side of a large bed, which with its drawn curtains concealed
a considerable portion of the chamber. An easy-chair was
near the bed-head : a man sat in it, dressed with the
exception of his coat ; he was still ; his head leant back ;
his eyes were closed. Mr. Eochester held the candle over
him ; I recognised in his pale and seemingly lifeless face — the
stranger, Mason : I saw too that his linen on one side, and
one arm, was almost soaked in blood.
' Hold the candle/ said Mr. Eochester, and I took it ; he
fetched a basin of water from the wash-stand : ' Hold that,'
said he. I obeyed. He took the sponge, dipped it in and
moistened the corpse-like face : he asked for my smelling-
bottle, and applied it to the nostrils. Mr. Mason shortly
unclosed his eyes ; he groaned. Mr. Eochester opened the
shirt of the wounded man, whose arm and shoulder were
bandaged : he sponged away blood, trickling fast down.
1 Is there immediate danger,' murmured Mr. Mason.
'Pooh! No — a mere scratch. Don't be so overcome,
man : bear up ! I'll fetch a surgeon for you now, myself :
you'll be able to be removed by morning, I hope. Jane,' he
continued.
'Sir?'
' I shall have to leave you in this room with this gentle-
man, for an hour, or perhaps two hours ; you will sponge
the blood as I do when it returns : if he feels faint, you will
put the glass of water on that stand to his lips, and your
salts to his nose. You will not speak to him on any pretext
— and— Bichard— it will be at the peril of your life if you
JANE EYEE 253
speak to her : open your lips — agitate yourself — and I'll nob
answer for the consequences.'
Again the poor man groaned : he looked as if he dared
not move: fear, either of death or of something else,
appeared almost to paralyse him. Mr. Eochester put the
now bloody sponge into my hand, and I proceeded to use it
as ho had done. He watched me a second, then saying,
'Eemember! — No conversation/ he left the room. I
experienced a strange feeling as the key grated in the
lock, and the sound of his retreating step ceased to be
heard.
Here then I was in the third story, fastened into one of
its mystic cells ; night around me ; a pale and bloody
spectacle under my eyes and hands ; a murderess hardly
separated from me by a single door : yes — that was appal-
ling— the rest I could bear ; but I shuddered at the thought
of Grace Poole bursting out upon me.
1 must keep to my post, however. I must watch this
ghastly countenan e — these blue, still lips forbidden to
unclose — these eyes now shut, now opening, now wandering
through the room, now fixing on me, and ever glazed with
the dulness of horror. I must dip my hand again and again
in the basin of blood and water, and wipe away the trickling
gore. I must see the light of the unsnuffed candle wane on
my employment; the shadows darken on the wrought-antique
tapestry round me, and grow black under the hangings of
the vast old bed, and quiver strangely over the doors of a
great cabinet opposite — whose front, divided into twelve
panels, bore in grim design the heads of the twelve apostles,
each inclosed in its separate panel as in a frame ; while
above them at the top rose an ebon crucifix and a dying
Christ.
According as the shifting obscurity and flickering gleam
hovered here or glanced there, it was now the bearded
physician, Luke, that bent his brow ; now St. John's long
hair that waved; and anon the devilish face of Judas,
that grew out of the panel, and seemed gathering life and
254: JANE EYEE
threatening a revelation of the arch-traitor — of Satan himself
— in his subordinate's form.
Amidst all this, I had to listen as well as watch : to listen
for the movements of the wild beast or the fiend in yonder
side den. But since Mr. Rochester's visit it seemed spell-
bound: all the night I heard but three sounds at three
long intervals, — a step creak, a momentary renewal of the
snarling, canine noise, and a deep human groan.
Then my own thoughts worried me. What crime was
this, that lived incarnate in this sequestered mansion, and
could neither be expelled nor subdued by the owner ? — What
mystery, that broke out, now in fire and now in blood, at the
deadest hours of night ? What creature was it, that, masked
in an ordinary woman's face and shape, uttered the voice, now
of a mocking demon, and anon of a carrion-seeking bird
of prey ?
And this man I bent over — this commonplace, quiet
stranger — how had he become involved in the web of horror ?
and why had the Fury flown at him ? What made him seek
this quarter of the house at an untimely season, when he
should have been asleep in bed ? I had heard Mr. Eochester
assign him an apartment below — what brought him here ?
And why, now, was he so tame under the violence or
treachery done him ? Why did he so quietly submit to the
concealment Mr. Eochester enforced ? Why did Mr. Eoches-
ter enforce this concealment ? His guest had been outraged,
his own life on a former occasion had been hideously plotted
against; and both attempts he smothered in secrecy and
sank in oblivion 1 Lastly, I saw Mr. Mason was submissive
to Mr. Eochester ; that the impetuous will of the latter held
complete sway over the inertness of the former : the few
words which had passed between them assured me of this.
It was evident that in their former intercourse, the passive
disposition of the one had been habitually influenced by the
active energy of the other : whence then had arisen
Mr. Eochester's dismay when he heard of Mr. Mason's
arrival? Why had the mere name of this unresisting
JANE EYKE 255
individual— whom his word now sufficed to control like
a child — fallen on him, a few hours since, as a thunderbolt
might fall on an oak ?
Oh ! I could not forget his look and his paleness when
he whispered : ' Jane, I have got a blow — I have got a blow,
Jane.' I could not forget how the arm had trembled which
he had rested on my shoulder : and it was no light matter
which could thus bow the resolute spirit and thnll the
vigorous frame of Fairfax Eochester.
' When will he come ? When will he come ? ' I cried
inwardly, as the night lingered and lingered — as my bleeding
patient drooped, moaned, sickened : and neither day nor aid
arrived. I had, again and again, held the water to Mason's
white lips ; again and again offered him the stimulating salts :
my efforts seemed ineffectual: either bodily or mental
suffering, or loss of blood, or all three combined, were fast
prostrating his strength. He moaned so, and looked so weak,
wild, and lost, I feared he was dying ; and I might not even
speak to him.
The candle, wasted at last, went out; as it expired, I
perceived streaks of grey light edging the window curtains :
dawn was then approaching. Presently I heard Pilot bark
far below, out of his distant kennel in the courtyard : hope
revived. Nor was it unwarranted : in five minutes more the
grating key, the yielding lock, warned me my watch was
relieved. It could not have lasted more than two hours :
many a week has seemed shorter.
Mr. Eochester entered, and with him the surgeon he had
been to fetch.
1 Now, Carter, be on the alert,' he said to this last : ' I
give you but half an hour for dressing the wound, fastening
the bandages, getting the patient downstairs and all.'
' But is he fit to move, sir ? '
1 No doubt of it ; it is nothing serious : he is nervous, his
spirits must be kept up. Come set to work.'
Mr. Eochester drew back the thick curtain, drew up the
holland blind, let in all the daylight he could ; and I was
K3
256 JANE EYEE
surprised and cheered to see how far dawn was advanced :
what rosy streaks were beginning to brighten the east. Then
he approached Mason, whom the surgeon was already
handling.
1 Now, my good fellow, how are you ? ' he asked.
' She's done for me, I fear/ was the faint reply.
1 Not a whit ! — courage ! This day fortnight you'll hardly
be a pin the worse of it : you've lost a little blood ; that's all.
Carter, assure him there's no danger/
' I can do that conscientiously/ said Carter, who had now
undone the bandages ; ' only I wish I could have got here
sooner : he would not have bled so much — but how is this ?
The flesh on the shoulder is torn as well as cut. This
wound was not done with a knife : there have been teeth
here ! '
' She bit me/ he murmured. ' She worried me like a
tigress, when Eochester got the knife from her.'
1 You should not have yielded : you should have grappled
with her at once/ said Mr. Eochester.
'But under such circumstances, what could one do?'
returned Mason. ' Oh, it was frightful ! ' he added, shudder-
ing. ' And I did not expect ifc • she looked so quiet at first.'
' I warned you/ was his friend's answer ; ' I said — be on
your guard when you go near her. Besides, you might have
waited till to-morrow, and h id me with you • it was mere
folly to attempt the interview to-night and alone.'
* I thought I could have done some good.'
' You thought ! you thought I Yes ; it makes me
impatient to hear you : but, however, you have suffered, and
are likely to suffer enough for not taking my advice ; so I'll
say no more. Carter — hurry ! — hurry I The sun will soon
rise, and I must have him off/
1 Directly, sir ; the shoulder is just bandaged. I must
look to this other wound in the arm : she has had her teeth
here too, I think/
1 She sucked the blood : she said she'd drain my heart/
said Mason.
JANE EYEE 257
I saw Mr. Rochester shudder : a singularly marked
expression of disgust, horror, hatred, warped his countenance
almost to distortion ; but he only said : — ' Come, be silent,
Eichard, and never mind her gibberish : don't repeat it.'
' I wish I could forget it,1 was the answer.
' You will when you are out of the country : when
you get back to Spanish Town, you may think of her as
dead and buried — or rather, you need not think of her
at all.1
' Impossible to forget this night ! '
' It is not impossible : have some energy, man. You
thought you were as dead as a herring two hours since, and
you are all alive and talking now. There ! — Carter has done
with you or nearly so; I'll make you decent in a trice.
Jane ' (he turned to me for the first time since his re-
entrance), ' take this key : go down into my bedroom, and
walk straight forward into my dressing-room ; open the top
drawer of the wardrobe and take out a clean shirt and neck-
handkerchief : bring them here ; and be nimble.*
I went ; sought the repository he had mentioned, found
the articles named and returned with them.
' Now/ said he, ' go to the other side of the bed while I
order his toilet; but don't leave the room: you may be
wanted again.1
I retired as directed.
'Was anybody stirring below when you went down,
Jane ? ' inquired Mr. Eochester, presently.
1 No, sir ; all was very still/
' We shall get you off cannily, Dick : and it will be better,
both for your sake, and for that of the poor creature in
yonder. I have striven long to avoid exposure, and I should
not like it to come at last. Here, Carter, help him on with
his waistcoat. Where did you leave your furred cloak?
You can't travel a mile without that, I know, in this damned,
cold climate. In your room? — Jane, run down to Mr.
Mason's room, — the one next mine, — and fetch a cloak you
will see there/
258 JANE EYEE
Again I ran, and again returned, bearing an immense
mantle lined and edged with fur.
'Now I've another errand for you,1 said my untiring
master ; ' you must away to my room again. What a mercy
you are shod with velvet, Jane !— a clod-hopping messenger
would never do at this juncture. You must open the middle
drawer of my toilet-table and take out a little phial and a
little glass you will find there, — quick ! '
I flew thither and back, bringing the desired vessels.
' That's well ! Now, doctor, I shall take the liberty of
administering a dose myself ; on my own responsibility. I
got this cordial at Eome of an Italian charlatan — a fellow
you would have kicked, Carter. It is not a thing to be used
indiscriminately, but it is good upon occasion : as now, for
instance. Jane, a little water.1
He held out the tiny glass, and I half filled it from the
water bottle on the wash-stand.
' That will do — now wet the lip of the phial.'
I did so : he measured twelve drops of a crimson liquid,
and presented it to Mason.
1 Drink, Kichard : it will give you the heart you lack, for
an hour or so/
I But will it hurt me ? — is it inflammatory ? '
'Drink! drink! drink!'
Mr. Mason obeyed, because it was evidently useless to
resist. He was dressed now : he still looked pale, but he
was no longer gory and sullied. Mr. Eochester let him sit
three minutes after he had swallowed the liquid ; he then
took his arm.
' Now I am sure you can get on your feet,1 he said —
'try.1
The patient rose.
' Carter, take him under the other shoulder. Be of good
cheer, Bichard ; step out — that's it ! '
' I do feel better/ remarked Mr. Mason.
I 1 am sure you do. Now, Jane, trip on before us away
to the backstairs ; unbolt the side-passage door, and tell the
JANE EYEE 259
driver of the post-chaise you will see in the yard — or just
outside, for I told him not to drive his rattling wheels over
the pavement — to be ready ; we are coming : and, Jane, if
any one is about, come to the foot of the stairs and hem/
It was by this time half-past five, and the sun was on the
point of rising ; but I found the kitchen still dark and silent.
The side-passage door was fastened; I opened it with as
little noise as possible : all the yard was quiet ; but the gates
stood wide open, and there was a post-chaise, with horses
ready harnessed, and driver seated on the box, stationed
outside. I approached him, and said the gentlemen were
coming ; he nodded : then I looked carefully round and
listened. The stillness of early morning slumbered every-
where; the curtains were yet drawn over the servants'
chamber windows; little birds were just twittering in the
blossom-blanched orchard trees, whose boughs drooped like
white garlands over the wall enclosing one side of the yard ;
the carriage horses stamped from time to time in their closed
stables : all else was still.
The gentlemen now appeared. Mason, supported by
Mr. Rochester and the surgeon, seemed to walk with tolerable
ease : they assisted him into the chaise ; Carter followed.
' Take care of him/ said Mr. Rochester to the latter, ' and
keep him at your house till he is quite well : I shall ride
over in a day or two to see how he gets on. Richard, how
is it with you ? '
' The fresh air revives me, Fairfax/
1 Leave the window open on his side, Carter ; there is no
wind — good-bye, Dick/
1 Fairfax '
cWell, what is it?'
I Let her be taken care of ; let her be treated as tenderly
as may be : let her ' he stopped and burst into tears.
I 1 do my best ; and have done it, and will do it/ was the
answer : he shut up the chaise door, and the vehicle drove
away.
1 Yet would to God there was an end of all this ! ' added
260 JANE EYRE
Mr. Rochester, as he closed and barred the heavy yard-gates.
This done, he moved with slow step and abstracted air
towards a door in the wall bordering the orchard. I, sup-
posing he had done with me, prepared to return to the
house ; again, however, I heard him call ' Jane ! ' He had
opened the portal and stood at it, waiting for me.
1 Come where there is some freshness, for a few moments/
he said ; ' that house is a mere dungeon : don't you feel it
so?'
' It seems to me a splendid mansion, sir/
' The glamour of inexperience is over your eyes/ he
answered ; * and you see it through a charmed medium : you
cannot discern that the gilding is slime and the silk draperies
cobwebs ; that the marble is sordid slate, and the polished
woods mere refuse chips and scaly bark. Now here' (he
pointed to the leafy enclosure we had entered) ' all is real,
sweet, and pure/
He strayed down a walk edged with box; with apple
trees, pear trees, and cherry trees on one side, and a border
on the other, full of all sorts of old-fashioned flowers, stocks,
sweet-williams, primroses, pansies, mingled with southern-
wood, sweet-briar, and various fragrant herbs. They were
fresh now as a succession of April showers and gleams,
followed by a lovely spring morning, could make them : the
sun was just entering the dappled east, and his light illumined
the wreathed and dewy orchard trees and shone down the
quiet walks under them.
' Jane, will y^u have a flower ? '
He gathered a half -blown rose, the first on the bush, and
offered it to me.
1 Thank you, sir/
I Do you like this sunrise, Jane ? That sky with its high
and light clouds which are sure to melt away as the day
waxes warm — this placid and balmy atmosphere?'
I 1 do, very much/
' You have passed a strange night, Jane/
'Yes, sir/
JANE EYEE 261
' And it has made you look pale — were you afraid when I
left you alone with Mason ? '
1 1 was afraid of some one coming out of the inner room.'
'But I had fastened the door — I had the key in my
pocket : I should have been a careless shepherd if I had left
a lamb — my pet lamb — so near a wolf's den, unguarded : you
were safe/
* Will Grace Poole live here still, sir ? '
' Oh, yes ! don'fc trouble your head about her — put the
thing out of your thoughts/
I Yet it seems to me your life is hardly secure while she
stays/
' Never fear — I will take care of myself/
Is the danger you apprehended last night gone by now
sir?'
I 1 cannot vouch for that till Mason is out of England :
nor even then. To live, for me, Jane, is to stand on a crater-
crust which may crack and spue fire any day/
c But Mr. Mason seems a man easily led. Your influence,
sir, is evidently potent with him : he will never set you at
defiance, or wilfully injure you/
1 Oh, no ! Mason will not defy me ; nor, knowing it, will
he hurt me — but, unintentionally, he might in a moment, by
one careless word, deprive me, if not of life, yet for ever of
happiness/
' Tell him to be cautious, sir : let him know what you fear,
and show him how to avert the danger/
He laughed sardonically, hastily took my hand, and as
hastily threw it from him.
1 If I could do that, simpleton, where would the danger
be ? Annihilated in a moment. Ever since I have known
Mason I have only had to say to him " Do that," and the
thing has been done. But I cannot give him orders in this
case : I cannot say " Beware of harming me, Eichard " ; for
it is imperative that I should keep him ignorant that harm
to me is possible. Now you look puzzled ; and I will
puzzle you farther. You are my little friend, are you not ? '
262 JANE EYEE
1 1 like to serve you, sir, and to obey you in all that is
right/
' Precisely : I see you do. I see genuine contentment in
your gait and mien, your eye and face, when you are helping
me and pleasing me — working for me, and with me, in, as you
characteristically say, ' all that is right ' : for if I bid you do
what you thought wrong, there would be no light-footed
running, no neat-handed alacrity, no lively glance and anim-
ated complexion. My friend would then turn to me, quiet
and pale, and would say, " No, sir ; that is impossible : I can-
not do it, because it is wrong ; " and would become immutable
as a fixed star. Well, you too have power over me, and may
injure me : yet I dare not show you where I am vulnerable,
lest, faithful and friendly as you are, you should transfix me
at once.'
' If you have no more to fear from Mr. Mason than you
have from me, sir, you are very safe.1
' God grant it may be so ! Here, Jane, is an arbour ; sit
down.'
The arbour was an arch in the wall, lined with ivy ; it
contained a rustic seat. Mr. Eochester took it, leaving room,
however, for me : but I stood before him.
' Sit,' he said ; ' the bench is long enough for two. You
don't hesitate to take a place at my side, do you ? Is that
wrong, Jane ? '
I answered him by assuming it : to refuse would, I felt,
have been unwise.
' Now, my little friend, while the sun drinks the dew —
while all the flowers in this old garden awake and expand,
and the birds fetch their young ones' breakfast out of the
cornfield, and the early bees do their first spell of work — I'll
put a case to you ; which you must endeavour to suppose
your own : but first, look at me, and tell me you are at ease,
and not fearing that I err in detaining you, or that you err
in staying/
' No, sir ; I am content.'
1 Well then, Jane, call to aid your fancy-— suppose you
JANE EYEE 263
were no longer a girl well reared and disciplined, but a wild
boy indulged from childhood upwards ; imagine yourself in
a remote foreign land ; conceive that you there commit a
capital error, no matter of what nature or from what motives,
but one whose consequences must follow you through life
and taint all your existence. Mind, I don't say a crime ; I
am not speaking of shedding of blood or any other guilty
act, which might make the perpetrator amenable to the law :
my word is error. The results of what you have done
become in time to you utterly insupportable; you take
measures to obtain relief : unusual measures, but neither
unlawful nor culpable. Still you are miserable ; for hope
has quitted you on the very confines of life : your sun at
noon darkens in an eclipse, which you feel will not leave it
till the time of sotting. Bitter and base associations have
become the sole food of your memory : you wander here and
there, seeking rest in exile : happiness in pleasure — I mean
in heartless, sensual pleasure — such as dulls intellect and
blights feeling. Heart-weary and soul-withered, you come
home after years of voluntary banishment ; you make a new
acquaintance — how or where no matter : you find in this
stranger much of the good and bright qualities which you
have sought for twenty years, and never before encountered ;
and they are all fresh, healthy, without soil and without
taint. Such society revives, regenerates : you feel better
days come back — higher wishes, purer feelings ; you desire
to recommence your life, and to spend what remains to you
of days in a way more worthy of an immortal being. To
attain this end, are you justified in overleaping an obstacle
of custom — a mere conventional impediment, which neither
your conscience sanctifies nor your judgment approves? '
He paused for an answer : and what was I to say? Oh,
for some good spirit to suggest a judicious and satisfactory
response ! Vain aspiration ! The west wind whispered in
the ivy round me ; but no gentle Ariel borrowed its breath
as a medium of speech : the birds sang in the tree-tops ; but
their song, however sweet, was inarticulate.
264 JANE BYEB
Again Mr. Eochester propounded his query.
' Is the wandering and sinful, but now rest-seeking and
repentant, man justified in daring the world's opinion, in
order to attach to him for ever this gentle, gracious, genial
stranger ; thereby securing his own peace of mind and
regeneration of life ? '
'Sir/ I answered, 'a wanderer's repose or a sinner's
reformation should never depend on a fellow-creature. Men
and women die ; philosophers falter in wisdom, and Christians
in goodness : if any one you know has suffered and erred,
let him look higher than his equals for strength to amend,
and solace to heal.'
' But the instrument — the instrument 1 God, who does
the work, ordains the instrument. I have myself — I tell it
you without parable — been a wordly, dissipated, restless
man ; and I believe I have found the instrument for my cure,
in '
He paused : the birds went on carolling, the leaves lightly
rustling. I almost wondered they did not check their songs
and whispers to catch the suspended revelation : but they
would have had to wait many minutes — so long was the
silence protracted. At last I looked up at the tardy speaker :
he was looking eagerly at me.
'Little friend,' said he, in quite a changed tone — while
his face changed too ; losing all its softness and gravity, and
becoming harsh and sarcastic — ' you have noticed my tender
penchant for Miss Ingram : don't you think if I married her
she would regenerate me with a vengeance ? '
He got up instantly, went quite to the other end of
the walk, and when he came back he was humming a
tune.
' Jane, Jane,' said he, stopping before me, ' you are quite
pale with your vigils: don't you curse me for disturbing
your rest ? '
' Curse you ? No sir.'
' Shake hands in confirmation of the word. What cold
fingers ! They were warmer last night when I touched them
JANE EYRE 265
at the door of the mysterious chamber. Jane, when will
you watch with me again ? '
' Whenever I can be useful, sir.'
1 For instance, the night before I am married ! I am sure
I shall not be able to sleep. Will you promise to sit up
with me to bear me company ? To you I can talk of my
lovely one : for now you have seen her and know her/
* Yes, sir/
' She's a rare one, is she not, Jane ? '
* Yes, sir/
'A strapper — a real strapper, Jane: big, brown, and
buxom ; with hair just such as the ladies of Carthage must
have had. "Bless me ! there's Dent and Lynn in the stables !
Go in by the shrubbery, through that wicket/
As I went one way, he went another, and I heard him in
the yard, saying cheeringly : — * Mason got the start of you
all this morning ; he was gone before sunrise : I rose at four
to see him off/
266 JANE EYRE
CHAPTEB XXI
PEESENTIMENTS are strange things ! and so are sympathies ;
and so are signs : and the three combined make one mystery
to which humanity has not yet found the key. I never
laughed at presentiments in my life ; because I have had
strange ones of my own. Sympathies, I believe, exist : (for
instance, between far-distant, long-absent, wholly estranged
relatives ; asserting, notwithstanding their alienation, the
unity of the source to which each traces his origin) whose
workings baffle mortal comprehension. And signs, for aught
we know, may be but the sympathies of Nature with man.
When I was a little girl, only six years old, I, one night,
heaid Bessie Leaven say to Martha Abbot that she had been
dreaming about a little child ; and that to dream of children
was a sure sign of trouble, either to one's self or one's kin.
The saying might have worn out of my memory, had not a
circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to
fix it there. The next day Bessie was sent for home to the
deathbed of her little sister.
Of late I had often recalled this saying and this incident ;
for during the past week scarcely a night had gone over my
couch that had not brought with it a dream of an infant :
which I sometimes hushed in my arms, sometimes dandled
on my knee, sometimes watched playing with daisies on a
lawn ; or again, dabbling its hands in running water. It
was a wailing child this night, and a laughing one the next :
now it nestled close to me, and now it ran from me ; but
whatever mood the apparition evinced, whatever aspect it
wore, it failed not for seven successive nights to meet me
the moment I entered the land of slumber.
JANE EYRE 267
I did not like this iteration of one idea — this strange
recurrence of one image ; and I grew nervous as bedtime
approached, and the hour of the vision drew near. It was
from companionship with this baby-phantom I had been
roused on that moonlight night when I heard the cry ; and
it was on the afternoon of the day following I was summoned
downstairs by a message that some one wanted me in Mrs.
Fairfax's room. On repairing thither, I found a man waiting
for me, having the appearance of a gentleman's servant : he
was dressed in deep mourning, and the hat he held in his
hand was surrounded with a crape band.
' I daresay you hardly remember me, miss/ he said, rising
as I entered ; ' but my name is Leaven : I lived coachman
with Mrs. Eeed when you were at Gateshead eight or nine
years since, and I live there still.'
'Oh, Robert ! how do you do? I remember you very
well: you used to give me a ride sometimes on Miss
Georgiana's bay pony. And how is Bessie? You are
married to Bessie ? '
1 Yes, miss : my wife is very hearty, thank you ; she
brought me another little one about two months since — we
have three now — and both mother and child are thriving/
1 And are the family well at the house, Eobert ? '
' I am sorry I can't give you better news of them, miss :
they are very badly at present — in great trouble.'
' I hope no one is dead/ I said glancing at his black dress.
He too looked down at the crape round his hat and replied,
— ' Mr. John died yesterday was a week, at his chambers in
London.'
'Mr. John?'
'Yes/
' And how does his mother bear it ? '
' Why you see, Miss Eyre, it is not a common mishap :
his life has been very wild : these last three years he gave him-
self up to strange ways ; and his death was shocking/
' I heard from Bessie he was not doing well/
c Doing well 1 He could not do worse : he ruined his
268 JANE EYEE
health and his estate amongst the worst men and the worst
women. He got into debt and into jail : his mother helped
him out twice, but as soon as he was free he returned to his
old companions and habits. His head was not strong : the
knaves he lived amongst fooled him beyond anything I
ever heard. He came down to Gateshead about three weeks
ago and wanted missus to give up all to him. Missis refused :
her means have long been much reduced by his extravagance ;
so he went back again, and the next news was that he was
dead. How he died, God knows ! — they say he killed him-
self.'
I was silent : the tidings were frightful. Eobert Leaven re-
sumed : — ' Missis had been out of health herself for some time :
she had got very stout, but was not strong with it ; and the loss
of money and fear of poverty were quite breaking her down.
The information about Mr. John's death and the manner of
it came too suddenly : it brought on a stroke. She was three
days without speaking ; but last Tuesday she seemed rather
better : she appeared as if she wanted to say something, and
kept making signs to my wife and mumbling. It was only
yesterday morning, however, that Bessie understood she
was pronouncing your name ; and at last she made out the
words, " Bring Jane — fetch Jane Eyre : I want to speak
to her." Bessie is not sure whether she is in her
right mind, or means anything by the words ; but she told
Miss Reed and Miss Georgiana, and advised them to send
for you. The young ladies put it off at first: but their
mother grew so restless, and said, " Jane, Jane," so many
times, that at last they consented. I left Gateshead yester-
day ; and if you can get ready, miss, I should like to take
you back with me early to-morrow morning.'
' Yes, Eobert, I shall be ready : it seems to me that I
ought to go.'
I 1 think so too, miss. Bessie said she was sure you
would not refuse : but I suppose you will have to ask leave
before you can get off? '
' Yes ; and I will do it now ' ; and having directed him to
JANE EYRE 269
the servants' hall, and recommended him to the care of
John's wife, and the attentions of John himself, I went in
search of Mr. Rochester.
He was not in any of the lower rooms ; he was not inthe
yard, the stables, or the grounds. I asked Mrs. Fairfax if
she had seen him ; — yes : she believed he was playing
billiards with Miss Ingram. To the billiard-room I hastened :
the click of balls and the hum of voices resounded thence :
Mr. Rochester, Miss Ingram, the two Misses Eshton, and
their admirers, were all busied in the game. It required
some courage to disturb so interesting a party ; my errand,
however, was one I could not defer, so I approached the
master whore he stood at Miss Ingrain's side. She turned
as I drew near and looked at me haughtily : her eyes seemed
to demand, ' What can the creeping creature want now ? '
and when I said, in a low voice, ' Mr. Rochester/ she made
a movement as if tempted to order me away. I remember
her appearance at the moment, — it was very graceful and
very striking : she wore a morning robe of sky-blue crape ;
a gauzy azure scarf was twisted in her hair. She had been
all animation with the game, and irritated pride did not
lower the expression of her haughty lineaments.
1 Does that person want you ? ' she inquired of Mr.
Rochester ; and Mr. Rochester turned to see who the ' person '
was. He made a curious grimace, — one of his strange and
equivocal demonstrations — threw down his cue and followed
me from the room.
1 Well, Jane ? ' he said, as he rested his back against the
schoolroom door, which he had shut.
1 If you please, sir, I want leave of absence for a week or
two/
1 What to do ?— Where to go ? '
1 To see a sick lady who has sent for me.1
'What sick lady?— Where does she live? '
1 At Gateshead, in shire/
' shire? That is a hundred miles off! Who may
she be that sends for people to see her that distance ? '
270 JANE EYKE
1 Her name is "Reed, sir, — Mrs. Eeed.'
1 Eeed of Gateshead ? There was a Eeed of Gateshead,
a magistrate.'
1 It is his widow, sir/
' And what have you to do with her ? How do you know
her?'
' Mr. Eeed was my uncle, — my mother's brother.'
' The deuce ho was ! You never told me that before :
you always said you had no relations.'
* None that would own me, sir. Mr. Eeed is dead, and
his wife cast me off.'
'Why?'
1 Because I was poor, and burdensome, and she disliked
me.'
* But Eeed left children ? — you must have cousins ? Sir
George Lynn was talking of a Eeed of Gateshead, yesterday
— who, he said, was one of the veriest rascals on town ; and
Ingrain was mentioning a Georgiana Eeed of the same pbice,
who was much admired for her beauty, a season or two ago,
in London.'
' John Eeed is dead, too, sir : he ruined himself and half-
ruinedhis family, and is supposed to have committed suicide.
The news so shocked his mother that it brought on an
apoplectic attack.'
1 And what good can you do her ? Nonsense, Jane !
I would never think of running a hundred miles to see an
old lady who will, perhaps, be dead before you reach
her : besides, you say she cast you off/
'Yes, sir, but that is long ago; and when her circum-
stances were very different : I could not be easy to neglect
her wishes now/
' How long will you stay ?
I As short a time as possible, sir/
' Promise me only to stay a week '
I 1 had better not pass my word : I might be obliged to
break it/
' At all events you will come back : you will not be
JANE EYEB 271
induced under any pretext to take up a permanent residence
with her.1
' Oh, no ! I shall certainly return if all be well/
1 And who goes with you ? You don't travel a hundred
miles alone.'
' No, sir, she has sent her coachman.'
' A person to be trusted ? '
' Yes, sir, he has lived ten years in the family.1
Mr. Bochester meditated. ' When do you wish to go ? '
1 Early to-morrow morning, sir/
'Well, you must have some money; you can't travel
without money, and I daresay you have not much : I have
given you no salary yet. How much have you in the world,
Jane ? ' he tasked, smiling.
I drew out my purse ; a meagre thing it was. ' Five
shillings, sir/ He took the purse, poured the hoard into his
palm and chuckled over it as if its scantiness pleased him.
Soon he produced his pocket-book : ' Here/ said he, offering
me a note : it was fifty pounds, and he owed me but fifteen.
I told him I had no change.
' I don't want change : you know that. Take your wages/
I declined accepting more than was my due. Ho scowled
at first ; then, as if recollecting something, he said : — ' Bight,
right! Better not give you all now: you would, perhaps,
stay away three months if you had fifty pounds. There are
ten : is it not plenty ? '
' Yes, sir, but now you owe me five/
' Come back for it then : I am your banker for forty
pounds/
1 Mr. Bochester, I may as well mention another matter of
business to you while I have the opportunity/
1 Matter of business ? I'm curious to hear it/
1 You have as good as informed me, sir, that you arc
going shortly to be married ? '
'Yes: what then?'
' In that case, sir, Ad&le ought to go to school : I am sure
you will perceive the necessity of it/
272 JANE EYBE
' To get her out of my bride's way ; who might otherwise
walk over her rather too emphatically. There's sense in the
suggestion ; not a doubt of it : Ad&le, as you say, must go to
school ; and you, of course, must march straight to — the
devil?'
( I hope not, sir : but I must seek another situation some-
where/
1 In course t ' he exclaimed, with a twang of voice and a
distortion of features equally fantastic and ludicrous. He
looked at me some minutes.
'And old Madam Heed, or the Misses, her daughters,
will be solicited by you to seek a place, I suppose ? '
' No, sir ; I am not on such terms with my relatives as
would justify me in asking favours of them — but I shall
advertise.'
' You shall walk up the pyramids of Egypt ! ' he growled.
' At your peril you advertise ! I wish I had only offered you
a sovereign instead of ten pounds. Give me back nine
pounds, Jane ; I've a use for it.'
' And so have I, sir,' I returned, putting my hands and
my purse behind me. ' I could not spare the money on any
account.'
' Little niggard ! ' said he, ' refusing me a pecuniary
request ! Give me five pounds, Jane/
' Not five shillings, sir ; nor five pence/
1 Just let me look at the cash/
1 No, sir ; you are not to be tiusted/
« Jane ! '
'Sir?'
1 Promise me one thing/
I I'll promise you anything, sir, that I think I am likely
to perform/
Not to advertise : and to trust this quest of a situation
to me. I'll find you one in time/
I 1 shall be glad so to do, sir, if you, in your turn, will
promise that I and Ad£ie shall be both safe out of the house
before your bride enters it/
JANE EYKE 273
1 Very well 1 very well I I'll pledge my word on it. You
go to-morrow, then ? '
' Yes, sir ; early/
* Shall you come down to the drawing-room after dinner ? '
1 No, sir, I must prepare for the journey.'
4 Then you and I must bid good-bye for a little while ? '
* I suppose so, sir.1
* And how do people perform that ceremony of parting,
Jane ? Teach me ; I'm not quite up to it.'
' They say, Farewell ; or any other form they prefer.'
1 Then say it.'
' Farewell, Mr. Bochester, for the present.'
1 What must I say ? '
' The same, if you like, sir.'
1 Farewell, Miss Eyre, for the present : is that all ? '
'Yes.'
' It seems stingy, to my notions, and dry and unfriendly
I should like something else : a little addition to the rite. If
one shook hands, for instance ; but no — that would not
content me either. So you'll do no more than say Farewell,
Jane ? '
* It is enough, sir : as much good-will may be conveyed
in one hearty word as in many.'
' Very likely ; but it is blank and cool — " farewell." '
1 How long is he going to stand with his back against that
door? ' I asked myself; ' I want to commence my packing.'
The dinner-bell rang, and suddenly away he bolted, without
another syllable : I saw him no more during the day, and
was off before he had risen in the morning.
I reached the lodge at Gateshead about five o'clock in the
afternoon of the first of May : I stepped in there before going
up to the hall. It was very clean and neat : the ornamental
windows were hung with little white curtains ; the floor was
spotless ; the grate and tire-irons were burnished bright, and
the fire burnt clear. Bessie sat on the hearth nursing her
last-born, and Robert and his sister played quietly in a
corner.
274 JANE EYEE
'Bless you !-— I knew you would come ! ' exclaimed Mrs.
Leaven, as I entered.
1 Yes, Bessie,1 said I, after I had kissed her ; ' and I
trust I am not too late. How is Mrs. Eeed ? — Alive still, I
hope.1
' Yes, she is alive ; and more sensible and collected than
she was. The doctor says she may linger a week or two yet ;
but he hardly thinks she will finally recover/
' Has she mentioned me lately ? '
' She was talking of you only this morning, and wishing
you would come : but she is sleeping now ; or was ten
minutes ago, when I was up at the house. She generally lies
in a kind of lethargy all the afternoon, and wakes up about
six or seven. Will you rest yourself here an hour, miss, and
then I will go up with you ? '
Eobert here entered, and Bessie laid her sleeping child
in the cradle and went to welcome him : afterwards she
insisted on my taking off my bonnet and having some tea ;
for she said I looked pale and tired. I was glad to accept
her hospitality; and I submitted to be relieved of my
travelling garb just as passively as I used to let her undress
me when a child.
Old times crowded fast back on me as I watched her
bustling about — setting out the tea-tray with her best china,
cutting bread-and-butter, toasting a tea-cake, and, between
whiles, giving little Eobert or Jane an occasional tap or push,
just as she used to give me in former days. Bessie had
retained her quick temper as well as her light foot and good
looks.
Tea ready, I was going to approach the table ; but she
desired me to sit still, quite in her old, peremptory tones. I
must be served at the fireside, she said; and she placed
before me a little round stand with my cup and a plate of
toast, absolutely as she used to accommodate me with some
privately purloined dainty on a nursery chair : and I smiled
and obeyed her as in bygone days.
She wanted to know if I was happy at Thornfield Hall,
JANE EYRE 275
and what sort of a person the mistress was ; and when I
told her there was only a master, whether he was a nice
gentleman, and if I liked him. I told her he was rather an
ugly man, but quite a gentleman ; and that he treated me
kindly, and I was content. Then I went on to describe to
her the gay company that had lately been staying at the
house : and to these details Bessie listened with interest :
they were precisely of the kind she relished.
In such conversation an hour was soon gone : Bessie
restored to me my bonnet, &c., and, accompanied by her, I
quitted the lodge for the hall. It was also accompanied by
her that I had, nearly nine years ago, walked down the path
I was now ascending. On a dark, misty, raw morning in
January, I had left a hostile roof with a desperate and
embittered heart — a sense of outlawry and almost of
reprobation — to seek the chilly harbourage of Lowood : that
bourne so far away and unexplored. The same hostile roof
now again rose before me : my prospects were doubtful yet ;
and I had yet an aching heart. I still felt as a wanderer on
the face of the earth ; but I experienced firmer trust in
myself and my own powers, aud less withering dread of
oppression. The gaping wound of my wrongs, too, was now
quite healed ; and the flame of resentment extinguished.
' You shall go into the breakfast-room first,' said Bessie,
as she preceded me through the hall ; ' the young ladies will
be there.1
In another moment I was within that apartment. There
was every article of furniture looking just as it did on the
morning I was first introduced to Mr. Brocklehurst : the very
rug he had stood upon still covered the hearth. Glancing
at the book-cases, I thought I could distinguish the two
volumes of ' Bewick's British Birds ' occupying their old place
on the third shelf, and ' Gulliver's Travels' and the ' Arabian
Nights' ranged just above. The inanimate objects were not
changed : but the living things had altered past recognition.
Two young ladies appeared before me ; one very tall,
almost as tall as Miss Ingram, — very thin too, with a sallow
276 JANE BYEE
face and severe mien. There was something ascetic in her
look, which was augmented by the extreme plainness of a
straight-skirted, black, stuff dress, a starched linen collar,
hair combed away from the temples, and the nun-like ornament
of a string of ebony beads and a crucifix. This I felt sure
was Eliza, though I could trace little resemblance to her
former self in that elongated and colourless visage.
The other was as certainly Georgiana : but not the
Georgiana I remembered — the slim and fairy-like girl of eleven.
This was a full-blown, very plump damsel, fair as wax-work ;
with handsome and regular features, languishing blue eyes,
and ringleted yellow hair. The hue of her dress was black
too ; but its fashion was so different from her sister's — so
much more flowing and becoming — it looked as stylish as
the other's looked puritanical.
In each of the sisters there was one trait of the mother —
and only one : the thin and pallid elder daughter had her
parent's Cairngorm eye : the blooming and luxuriant
younger girl had her contour of jaw and chin, — perhaps a
little softened, but still imparting an indescribable hardness
to the countenance, otherwise so voluptuous and buxom.
Both ladies, as I advanced, rose to welcome me, and both
addressed me by the name of ' Miss Eyre.' Eliza's greeting
was delivered in a short, abrupt voice, without a smile ; and
then she sat down again, fixed her eyes on the fire, and
seemed to forget me. Georgiana added to her ' How d'ye
do? ' several common-places about my journey, the weather
and so on, uttered in rather a drawling tone : and accom-
panied by sundry side-glances that measured me from head
to foot — now traversing the folds of my drab merino pelisse,
and now lingering on the plain trimming of my cottage
bonnet. Young ladies have a remarkable way of letting you
know that they think you a ' quiz ' without actually saying
the words. A certain superciliousness of look, coolness of
manner, nonchalance of tone, express fully their sentiments
on the point, without committing them by any positive rude-
ness in word or deed.
JANE EYBE 277
A sneer, however, whether covert or open, had now no
longer that power over me' it once possessed : as I sat
between my cousins, I was surprised to find how easy I felt
under the total neglect of the one and the semi-sarcastic
attentions of the other — Eliza did not mortify, nor Georgiana
ruffle me. The fact was, I had other things to think about ;
within the last few months feelings had been stirred in me
so much more potent than any they could raise — pains and
pleasures so much more acute and exquisite had been excited,
than any it was in their power to inflict or bestow — that
their airs gave me no concern either for good or bad.
1 How is Mrs. Beed ? ' I asked soon, looking calmly at
Georgiana ; who thought fit to bridle at the direct address*
as if it were an unexpected liberty.
1 Mrs. Eeed V Ah 1 mama you mean ; she is extremely
poorly : I doubt if you can see her to-night.'
* If,' said I, ' you would just step upstairs and tell her I
am come, I should be much obliged to you.'
Georgiana almost started, and she opened her blue eyes
wild and wide. ' I know she had a particular wish to see
me,' I added, ' and I would not defer attending to her desire
longer than is absolutely necessary.'
' Mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening/ remarked
Eliza. I soon rose, quietly took off my bonnet and gloves,
uninvited, and said I would just step out to Bessie — who
was, I dared say, in the kitchen — and ask her to ascertain
whether Mrs. Beed was disposed to receive me or not to-
night. I went, and having found Bessie and despatched her
on my errand, I proceeded to take further measures. It had
heretofore been my habit always to shrink from arrogance :
received as I had been to-day, I should, a year ago, have re-
solved to quit Gateshead the very next morning; now, it
was disclosed to me all at once, that that would be a foolish
plan. I had taken a journey of a hundred miles to see my
aunt, and I must stay with her till she was better— or dead :
as to her daughters' pride or folly, I must put it on one side;
make myself independent of it. So I addressed the house-
278 JANE EYEE
keeper ; asked her to show me a room, told her I should pro-
bably be a visitor here for a week or two, had my trunk con-
veyed to my chamber, and followed it thither myself : I met
Bessie on the landing.
'Missis is awake/ said she; 'I have told her you are
here : come and let us see if she will know you.1
I did not need to be guided to the well-known room : to
which I had so often been summoned for chastisement or
reprimand in former days. I hastened before Bessie, I softly
opened the door : a shaded light stood on the table, for it was
now getting dark. There was the great four-post bed with
amber hangings as of old : there the toilet-table, the arm-
chair, and the foot-stool : at which I had a hundred times
been sentenced to kneel, to ask pardon for offences, by me,
uncommitted. I looked into a certain corner rear, half-
expecting to see the slim outline of a once-dreaded switch ;
which used to lurk there, waiting to leap out imp-like and
lace my quivering palm or shrinking neck. I approached
the bed ; I opened the curtains and leant over the high-piled
pillows.
Well did I remember Mrs. Reed's face, and I eagerly
sought the familiar image. It is a happy thing that time
quells the longings of vengeance, and hushes the promptings
of rage and aversion : I had left this woman in bitterness and
hate, and I came back to her now with no other emotion than
a sort of ruth for her great sufferings, and a strong yearning
to forget and forgive all injuries — to be reconciled and clasp
hands in amity.
The well-known face was there : stern, relentless as ever
— there was that peculiar eye which nothing could melt;
and the somewhat raised, imperious, despotic eyebrow. How
often had it lowered on me menace and hate 1 and how the
recollection of childhood's terrors and sorrows revived as I
traced its harsh line now t And yet I stooped down and
kissed her : she looked at me.
1 Is this Jane Eyre? ' she said.
' Yes, aunt Reed. How are you, dear aunt ? '
JANE EYBB 279
I had once vowed that I would never call her aunt again :
I thought it no sin to forget and break that vow now. My
fingers had fastened on her hand which lay outside the
sheet : had she pressed mine kindly, I should at that moment
have experienced true pleasure. But unimpressionable
natures are not so soon softened, nor are natural antipathies
so readily eradicated : Mrs. Reed took her hand away, and,
turning her face rather from me, she remarked that the night
was warm. Again she regarded me, so icily, I felt at once
that her opinion of me— her feeling towards me — was
unchanged, and unchangeable. I kuew by her stony eye —
opaque to tenderness, indissoluble to tears — that she was
resolved to consider me bad to the last ; because to believe
me good, would give her no generous pleasure : only a sense
of mortification.
I felt pain, and then I felt ire ; and then I felt a determi-
nation to subdue her — to be her mistress in spite both of her
nature and her will. My tears had risen, just as in childhood :
I ordered them back to their source. I brought a chair
to the bed-head : I sat down and leaned over the pillow.
1 You sent for me,' I said; ' and I am here ; and it is my
intention to stay till I see how you get on.'
' Oh, of course ! You have seen my daughters ? '
1 Yes.'
c Well, you may tell them I wish you to stay till I can talk
some things over with you I have on my mind : to-night it
is too late, and I have a difficulty in recalling them. But
there was something I wished to say — let me see '
The wandering look and changed utterance told what
wreck had taken place in her once- vigorous frame. Turning
restlessly, she drew the bed-clothes round her; my elbow,
resting on a corner of the quilt, fixed it down : she was at
once irritated.
' Sit up ! ' said she ; ' don't annoy me with holding the
clothes fast — are you Jane Eyre ? '
' I am Jane Eyre.'
' I have had more trouble with that child than any one
L
280 JANE EYEE
would believe. Such a burden to be left on my hands — and
so much annoyance as she caused me, daily and hourly, with
her incomprehensible disposition, and her sudden starts of
temper, and her continual, unnatural watchings of one's
movements ! I declare she talked to me once like some tiling
mad, or like a fiend — no child ever spoke or looked as she
did ; I was glad to get her away from the house. What did
they do with her at Lowood ? The fever broke out there,
and many of the pupils died. She, however, did not die:
but I said she did — I wish she had died ! '
' A strange wish, Mrs. Eeed : why do you hate her so ? '
' I had a dislike to her mother always ; for she was my
husband's only sister, and a great favourite with him : he
opposed the family's disowning her when she made her low
marriage ; and when news came of her death, he wept like a
simpleton. He would send for the baby ; though I entreated
him rather to put it out to nurse and pay for its mainten-
ance. I hated it the first time I set my eyes on it — a sickly,
whining, pining thing I It would wail in its cradle all night
long — not screaming heartily like any other child, but whim-
pering and moaning. Beed pitied it ; and he used to nurse
it and notice it as if it had been his own : more, indeed, than
he ever noticed his own at that age. He would try to make
my children friendly to the little beggar : the darlings could
not bear it, and he was angry with them when they showed
their dislike. In his last illness, he had it brought continually
to his bedside ; and but an hour before he died, he bound me
by vow to keep the creature. I would as soon have been
charged with a pauper brat out of a workhouse: but he
was weak, naturally weak. John does not at all resemble
his father, and I am glad of it : John is like me and like my
brothers — he is quite a Gibson. Oh, I wish he would cease
tormenting me with letters for money 1 I have no more
money to give him : we are getting poor. I must send away
half the servants and shut up part of the house ; or let it off.
I can never submit to do that — yet how are we to get on ?
Two-thirds of my income goes in paying the interest of
JANE EYKE 281
mortgages. John gambles dreadfully, and always loses —
poor boy I He is beset by sharpers : John is sunk and
degraded — his look is frightful — I feel ashamed for him when
I see him.1
She was getting much excited. ' I think I had better
leave her now,' said I to Bessie, who stood on the other side
of the bed.
1 Perhaps you had, miss : but she often talks in this way
towards night— in the morning she is calmer/
I rose. ' Stop 1 ' exclaimed Mrs. Eeed. ' There is
another thing I wished to say. He threatens me — he con-
tinually threatens me with his own death, or mine : and I
dream sometimes that I see him laid out with a great wound
in his throat, or with a swollen and blackened face. I am
come to a strange pass : I have heavy troubles. What is to
be done ? How is the money to be had ? '
Bessie now endeavoured to persuade her to take a sedative
draught : she succeeded with difficulty. Soon after, Mrs.
Eeed grew more composed, and sank into a dozing state. I
then left her.
More than ten days elapsed before I had again any conver-
sation with her. She continued either delirious or lethargic ;
and the doctor forbade every thing which could painfully
excite her. Meantime, I got on as well as I could with
Georgiana and Eliza. They were very cold, indeed, at first.
Eliza would sit half the day sewing, reading, or writing, and
scarcely utter a word either to me or her sister. Georgiana
would chatter nonsense to her canary bird by the hour, and
take no notice of me. But I was determined not to seem at
a loss for occupation or amusement : I had brought my
drawing materials with me, and they served me for both.
Provided with a case of pencils, and some sheets of
paper, I used to take a seat apart from them, near the window,
and busy myself in sketching fancy vignettes, representing
any scene that happened momentarily to shape itself in the
ever-shifting kaleidoscope of imagination : a glimpse of sea
between two rocks ; the rising moon, and a ship crossing its
282 JANE EYEE
disk ; a group of reeds and water-flags, and a naiad's head
crowned with lotus-flowers, rising out of them ; an elf sitting
in a hedge-sparrow's nest, under a wreath of hawthorn-
bloom.
One morning I fell to sketching a face : what sort of a
face it was to be, I did not care or know. I took a soft
black pencil, gave it a broad point, and worked away. Soon
I had traced on the paper a broad and prominent forehead,
and a square lower outline of visage : that contour gave me
pleasure ; my fingers proceeded actively to fill it with features.
Strongly-marked horizontal eyebrows must be traced under
that brow; then followed, naturally, a well-defined nose,
with a straight ridge and full nostrils ; then a flexible-looking
mouth, by no means narrow ; then a firm chin, with a
decided cleft down the middle of it : of course, some black
whiskers were wanted, and some jetty hair, tufted on the
temples, and waved above the forehead. Now for the eyes :
I had left them to the last, because they required the most
careful working. I drew them large ; I shaped them well :
the eyelashes I traced long and sombre ; the irids lustrous
and large. ' Good ! but not quite the thing,1 I thought, as I
surveyed the effect : * They want more force and spirit ; '
and I wrought the shades blacker, that the lights might flash
more brilliantly — a happy touch or two secured success.
There, I had a friend's face under my gaze ; and what did it
signify that those young ladies turned their backs on me ?
I looked at it ; I smiled at the speaking likeness : I was
absorbed and content.
1 Is that a portrait of some one you know ? ' asked Eliza,
who had approached me unnoticed. I responded that it
was merely a fancy head, and hurried it beneath the other
sheets. Of course, I lied: it was, in fact, a very faithful
lepresentation of Mr. Eochester. But what was that to her,
or to any one but myself ? Georgiana also advanced to look.
The other drawings pleased her much, but she called that ' an
ugly man/ They both seemed surprised at my skill. I offered
to sketch their portraits ; and each, in turn, sat for a pencil
JANE EYEB 283
outline. Then Georgiana produced her album. I promised
to contribute a water-colour drawing : this put her at once
into good humour. She proposed a walk in the grounds.
Before we had been out two hours, we were deep in a con-
fidential conversation : she had favoured me with a
description of the brilliant winter she had spent in London
two seasons ago — of the admiration she had there excited —
the attention she had received : and I even got hints of the
titled conquest she had made. In the course of the afternoon
and evening these hints were enlarged on : various soft
conversations were reported, and sentimental scenes repre-
sented ; and, in short, a volume of a novel of fashionable
life was that day improvised by her for my benefit. The
communications were renewed from day to day : they always
ran on the Sd,me theme — herself, her loves, and woes. It
was strange she never once adverted either to her mother's
illness, or her brother's death, or the present gloomy state of
the family prospects. Her mind seemed wholly taken up
with reminiscences of past gaiety, and aspirations after dis-
sipations to come. She passed about five minutes each day
in her mother's sick-room and no more.
Eliza still spoke little : she had evidently no time to talk.
I never saw a busier person than she seemed to be : yet it
was difficult to say what she did : or rather, to discover
any result of her diligence. She had an alarum to call her
up early. I know not how she occupied herself before
breakfast, but after that meal she divided her time into
regular portions ; and each hour had its allotted task.
Three times a day she studied a little book, which I found,
on inspection, was a Common Prayer-book. I asked her
once what was the great attraction of that volume, and she
said ' the Rubric.' Three hours she gave to stitching, with
gold thread, the border of a square crimson cloth, almost
large enough for a carpet. In answer to my inquiries after
the use of this article, she informed me it was a covering for
the altar of a new church lately erected near Gateshead.
Two hours she devoted to her diary ; two to working by
284 JANE EYKB
herself in the kitchen-garden ; and one to the regulation of
her accounts. She seemed to want no -company ; no con-
versation. I believe she was happy in her way : this routine
sufficed to her ; and nothing annoyed her so much as the
occurrence of any incident which forced her to vary its clock-
work regularity.
She told me one evening, when more disposed to he
communicative than usual, that John's conduct, and the
threatened ruin of the family, had been a source of profound
affliction to her : but she had now, she said, settled her
mind, and formed her resolution. Her own fortune she had
taken care to secure ; and when her mother died, — and it
was wholly improbable, she tranquilly remarked, that she
should either recover or linger long, — she would execute a
long-cherished project : seek a retirement where punctual
habits would be permanently secured from disturbance, and
place safe barriers between herself and a frivolous world. I
asked if Georgiana would accompany her.
'Of course not. Georgiana and she had nothing in
common : they never had had. She would not be burdened
with her society for any consideration. Georgiana should
take her own course ; and she, Eliza, would take hers.'
Georgiana, when not unburdening her heart to me, spent
most of her time in lying on the sofa, fretting about the
dulness of the house, and wishing over and over again that
her aunt Gibson would send her an invitation up to town.
' It would be so much better/ she said, ' if she could only
get out of the way for a month or two, till all was over/ I
did not ask what she meant by ' all being over/ but I suppose
she referred to the expected decease of her mother and the
gloomy sequel of funeral rites. Eliza generally took no more
notice of her sister's indolence and complaints than if no
such murmuring, lounging object had been before her. One
day, however, as she put away her account book, and un-
folded her embroidery, she suddenly took her up thus : —
' Georgiana, a more vain and absurd animal than you, was
certainly never allowed to cumber the earth. You had no
JANE EYEE 285
right to be born : for you make no use of life. Instead of
living for, in, and with yourself, as a reasonable being ought,
you seek only to fasten your feebleness on some other
person's strength : if no one can be found willing to burden
her or himself with such a fat, weak, puffy, useless thing,
you cry out that you are ill-treated, neglected, miserable.
Then, too, existence for you must be a scene of continual
change and excitement, or else the world is a dungeon : you
must be admired, you must bo courted, you must be flattered
— you must have music, dancing, and society — or you
languish, you die away. Have you no sense to devise a
system which will make you independent of all efforts, and
all wills, but your own ? Take one day ; share it into
sections ; to each section apportion its task : leave no stray
unemployed quarters of an hour, ten minutes, five minutes,
include all; do each piece of business in its turn with
method, with rigid regularity. The day will close almost
before you are aware it has begun ; and you are indebted to
no one for helping you to get rid of one vacant moment ; you
have had to seek no one's company, conversation, sympathy,
forbearance : you have lived, in short, as an independent
being ought to do. Take this advice : the first and last I
shall offer you ; then you will not want me or anyone else,
happen what may. Neglect it — go on as heretofore, craving,
whining, and idling — and suffer the results of your idiocy,
however bad and insufferable they may be. I tell you this
plainly ; and listen : for though I shall no more repeat what
I am now about to say, I shall steadily act on it. After my
mother's death, I wash my hands of you : from the day her
coffin is earned to the vault in Gateshead Church, you and
I will be as separate as if we had never known each other.
You need not think that because we chanced to be born of
the same parents, I shall suffer you to fasten me down by
even the feeblest claim ; I can tell you this — if the whole
human race, ourselves excepted, were swept away, and we
two stood alone on the earth, I would leave you in the old
world, and betake myself to the new.1
286 JANE EYRE
She closed her lips.
1 You might have spared yourself the trouble of delivering
that tirade/ answered Georgiana. 'Everybody knows
you are the most selfish, heartless creature in existence :
and I know your spiteful hatred towards me; I have
had a specimen of it before in the trick you played me
about Lord Edwin Vere: you could not bear me to be
raised above you, to have a title, to be received into circles
where you dare not show your face, and so you acted the
spy and informer, and ruined my prospects for ever/
Georgiana took out her handkerchief and blew her nose for
an hour afterwards ; Eliza sat cold, impassible, and
assiduously industrious.
True, generous feeling is made small account of by some :
but here were two natures rendered, the one intolerably acrid,
the other despicably savourless for the want of it. Feeling
without judgment is a washy draught indeed ; but judg-
ment untempered by feeling is too bitter and husky a morsel
for human deglutition.
It was a wet and windy afternoon : Georgiana had fallen
asleep on the sofa over the perusal of a novel ; Eliza was
gone to attend a saint's-day service at the new church— for
in matters of religion she was a rigid formalist : no weather
ever prevented the punctual discharge of what she con-
sidered her devotional duties : fair or foul, she went to
church thrice every Sunday, and as often on week-days as
there were prayers.
I bethought myself to go upstairs and see how the dying
woman sped, who lay there almost unheeded: the very
servants paid her but a remittent attention : the hired nurse,
being little looked after, would slip out of the room whenever
she could. Bessie was faithful ; but she had her own family
to mind, and could only come occasionally to the hall. I
found the sick-room unwatched, as I had expected : no nurse
was there; the patient lay still, and seemingly lethargic;
her livid face sunk in the pillows : the fire was dying in the
grate. I renewed the fuel, re-arranged the bedclothes.
JANE EYEE 287
gazed awhile on her who could not now gaze on me, and
then I moved away to the window.
The rain beat strongly against the panes, the wind blew
tempestuously : ' One lies there/ I thought, ' who will soon
be beyond the war of earthly elements. Whither will that
spirit — now struggling to quit its material tenement — flit
when at length released ? '
In pondering the great mystery, I thought of Helen
Burns, recalled her dying words— her fjiith — her doctrine of
the equality of disembodied souls. I was still listening in
thought to her well-remembered tones — still picturing her
pale and spiritual aspect, her wasted face and sublime gaze,
as she lay on her placid deathbed, and whispered her long-
ing to be restored to her divine Father's bosom— when a
feeble voice murmured from the couch behind : ' Who is
that?'
I knew Mrs. Eeed had not spoken for days : was she
reviving ? I went up to her.
' It is I, aunt Eeed.1
' Who — I ? ' was her answer. ' Who are you ? ' looking
at me with surprise and a sort of alarm, but still not wildly.
1 You are quite a stranger to me — where is Bessie ? '
' She is at the lodge, aunt.1
1 Aunt ! ' she repeated. ' Who calls me aunt ? You are
not one of the Gibsons ; and yet I know you— that face, and
the eyes and forehead are quite familiar to me : you are like
— why, you are like Jane Eyre ! '
I said nothing : I was afraid of occasioning some shock
by declaring my identity.
1 Yet/ said she, ' I am afraid it is a mistake : my thoughts
deceive me. I wished to see Jane Eyre, and I fancy a
likeness where none exists : besides, in eight years she must
be so changed.'
I now gently assured her that I was the person she
supposed and desired me to be : and seeing that I was under-
stood, and that her senses were quite collected*, I explained
how Bessie had sent her husband to fetch me from Thornfield.
L2
288 JANE EYEE
' I am very ill, I know/ she said ere long. ' I was trying
to turn myself a few minutes since, and find I cannot move
a limb. It is as well I should ease my mind before I die :
what we think little of in health, burdens us at such an hour
as the present is to me. Is the nurse here ? or is there no
one in the room but you ? '
I assured her we were alone.
' Well, I have twice done you a wrong which I regret
now. One was in breaking the promise which I gave my
husband to bring you up as my own child ; the other ' she
stopped. ' After all, it is of no great importance, perhaps,1
she murmured to herself : ' and then I may get better ; and
to humble myself so to her is painful/
She made an effort to alter her position, but failed : her
face changed ; she seemed to experience some inward sensa-
tion— the precursor, perhaps, of the last pang.
1 Well : I must get it over. Eternity is before me : I
had better tell her. — Go to my dressing-case, open it, and
take out a letter you will see there/
I obeyed her directions.
1 Bead the letter/ she said.
It was short, and thus conceived : —
' MADAM, —
* WILL you have the goodness to send me the
address of my niece, Jane Eyre, and to tell me how she is : it
is my intention to write shortly and desire her to come to
me at Madeira. Providence has blessed my endeavours to
secure a competency ; and as I am unmarried and childless,
I wish to adopt her during my life, and bequeath her at my
death whatever I may have to leave.
' I am, Madam, &c. &c.
' JOHN EYRE, Madeira/
It was dated three years back.
' Why did I never hear of this ? ' I asked.
* Because I disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly ever
JANE EYRE 289
to lend a hand in lifting you to prosperity. I could not for-
get your conduct to ine, Jane — the fury with which you
once turned on me ; the tone in which you declared you ab-
horred me the worst of anybody in the world; the unchildlike
look and voice with which you affirmed that the very thought
of me made you sick, and asserted that I had treated you
with miserable cruelty. I could not forgot my own sensa-
tions when you thus started up and poured out the venom
of your mind : I felt fear, as if an animal that I had struck or
pushed had looked up at me with human eyes and cursed
me in a man's voice. — Bring me some water ! Oh, make
haste ! '
1 Dear Mrs. Reed/ said I, as I offered her the draught
she required, ' think no more of all this, let it pass away
from your mind. Forgive me for my passionate language : I
was a child then ; eight, nine years have passed since that
day.1
She heeded nothing of what I said ; but when she had
tasted the water and drawn breath, she went on thus : — ' I
tell you I could not forget it ; and I took my revenge : for
you to be adopted by your uncle, and placed in a state of
ease and comfort, was what 1 could not endure. I wrote to
him ; I said I was sorry for his disappointment, but Jane
Eyre was dead : she had died of typhus fever at Lowood.
Now act as you please : write and contradict my assertion
— expose my falsehood as soon as you like. You were born,
I think, to be rny torment : my last hour is racked by the
recollection of a deed which, but for you, I should never
have been tempted to commit.'
'If you could but be persuaded to think no more
of it, aunt, and to regard me with kindness and forgive-
ness '
1 You have a very bad disposition,' said she, ' and one to
this day I feel it impossible to understand: how for nine
years you could be patient and quiescent under any treat-
ment, and in the tenth break out all fire and violence, I can
never comprehend.'
290 JANE EYRE
1 My disposition is not so bad as you think : I am pas-
sionate, but not vindictive. Many a time, as a little child, I
should have been glad to love you if you would have let me;
and I long earnestly to be reconciled to you now : kiss me,
aunt.'
I approached my cheek to her lips : she would not touch
it. She said I oppressed her by leaning over the bed ; and
again demanded water. As I laid her down — for I raised
her and supported her on my arm while she drank — I
covered her ice-cold and clammy hand with mine : the
feeble fingers shrank from my touch — the glazing eyes
shunned my gaze.
1 Love me, then, or hate me, as you will,1 I said at last \
« you have my full and free forgiveness : ask now for God's ;
and be at peace.'
Poor, suffering woman ! it was too late for her to make
now the effort to change her habitual frame of mind : liv-
ing, she had ever hated me — dying, she must hate me
still.
The nurse now entered, and Bessie followed. I yet
lingered half an hour longer, hoping to see some sign of
amity: but she gave none. She was fast relapsing into
stupor ; nor did her mind again rally r at twelve o'clock that
night she died. I was not present to close her eyes ; nor
were either of her daughters. They came to tell us the next
morning that all was over. She was by that time laid out.
Eliza and I went to look at her : Georgi&na, who had burst
out into loud weeping, said she dared not go. There was
stretched Sarah Reed's once robust and active frame, rigid
and still : her eye of flint was covered with its cold lid ; her
brow and strong traits wore yet the impress of her inexorable
soul. A strange and solemn object was that corpse to me.
I gazed on it with gloom and pain : nothing soft, nothing
sweet, nothing pitying, or hopeful, or subduing, did it
inspire ; only a grating anguish for her woes — not my loss— '
and a sombre tearless dismay at the tearfulness of death id
such a form.
JANE EYEE 291
Eliza surveyed her parent calmly. After a silence of
some minutes she observed, ' With her constitution she
should have lived to a good old age : her life was shortened
by trouble/ And then a spasm constricted her mouth for
an instant : as it passed away she turned and left the room,
and so did I. Neither of us had dropped a tear.
292 JANE EYEE
CHAPTEE XXII
MB. EOCHESTER had given me but one week's leave of
absence : yet a month elapsed before I quitted Gateshead.
I wished to leave immediately after the funeral ; but
Georgiana entreated me to stay till she could get off to
London : whither she was now at last invited by her uncle,
Mr. Gibson ; who had come down to direct his sister's
interment and settle the family affairs. Georgiana said she
dreaded being left alone with Eliza ; from her she got neither
sympathy in her dejection, support in her fears, nor aid in hei1
preparations ; so I bore with her feeble-minded quailings, and
selfish lamentations, as well as I could, and did my best in
sewing for her, and packing her drosses. It is true that
while I worked she would idle ; and I thought to myself,
' If you and I were destined to live always together, cousin,
we would commence matters on a different footing. I
should not settle tamely down into being the forbearing
party; I should assign you your share of labour, and
compel you to accomplish it, or else it should be left
undone : I should insist, also, on your keeping some of those
drawling, half-insincere complaints hushed in your own
breast. It is only because our connection happens to be
very transitory, and comes at a peculiarly mournful season,
that I consent thus to render it so patient and compliant on
my part.1
At last I saw Georgiana off : but now it was Eliza's turn
to request me to stay another week. Her plans required all
her time and attention, she said : she was about to depart
for some unknown bourne ; and -all day long she stayed in
her own room, her door bolted within, filling trunks, empty-
JANE EYRE 293
ing drawers, burning papers, and holding no communication
with anyone. She wished me to look after the house, to see
callers, and answer notes of condolence.
One morning she told me I was at liberty. ' And,' she
added, * I am obliged to you for your valuable services and
discreet conduct ! There is some difference between living
with such a one as you, and with Georgiana : you perform
your own part in life, and burden no one. To-morrow,' she
continued, ' I set out for the Continent. I shall take up my
abode in a religious house near Lisle — a nunnery you
would call it : there I shall be quiet and unmolested. I
shall devote myself for a time to the examination of the
Eoman Catholic dogmas, and to a careful study of the
workings of their system ; if I find it to be, as I half suspect
it is, the one best calculated to ensure the doing of all things
decently and in order, I shall embrace the tenets of Borne
and probably take the veil.'
I neither expressed surprise at this resolution nor
attempted to dissuade her from it. ' The vocation will fit
you to a hair/ I thought : ' much good may it do you 1 '
When we parted, she said: ' Good-bye, cousin Jane
Eyre ; T wish you well : you have some sense/
I then returned : ' You are not without sense, cousin
Eliza ; but what you have I suppose in another year will be
walled up alive in a French convent. However, it is not
my business, and so it suits you — I don't much care.'
' You are in the right,' said she : and with these words
we each went our separate way. As I shall not have
occasion to refer either to her or her sister again, I may as well
mention here that Georgiana made an advantageous match
with a wealthy worn-out man of fashion ; and that Eliza
actually took the veil, and is at this day superior of tho
convent where she passed the period of her novitiate : and
which she endowed with her fortune.
How people feel when they are returning home from an
absence, long or short, I did not know : I had never ex-
perienced the sensation. I had known what it was to come
294 JANE BYBE
back to Gateshead when a child, after a long walk — to be
scolded for looking cold or gloomy ; and later, what it was
to come back from church to Lowood — to long for a plen-
teous meal and a good fire, and to be unable to get either.
Neither of these returnings were very pleasant or
desirable : no magnet drew me to a given point, increasing
in its strength of attraction the nearer I came. The return
to Thornfield was yet to be tried.
My journey seemed tedious — very tedious : fifty miles
one day, a night spent at an inn ; fifty miles the next day.
During the first twelve hours I thought of Mrs. Reed in her
last moments : I saw her disfigured and discoloured face,
and heard her strangely altered voice. I mused on the
funeral day, the coffin, the hearse, the black train of tenants
and servants — few was the number of relatives — the gaping
vault, the silent church, the solemn service. Then I thought
of Eliza and Georgiana: I beheld one the cynosure of a
b ill-room, the other the inmate of a convent cell ; and I
dwelt on and analysed their separate peculiarities of person
and character. The evening arrival at the great town of
scattered these thoughts ; night gave them quite another
turn : laid down on my traveller's bed, I left reminiscence
for anticipation.
I was going back to Thornfield : but how long was I to
stay there ? Not long ; of that I was sure. I had heard
from Mrs. Fairfax in the interim of my absence : the party
at the hall was dispersed; Mr. Rochester had left for
London three weeks ago, but he was then expected to return
in a fortnight. Mrs. Fairfax surmised that he was gone to
make arrangements for his wedding, as he had talked of
purchasing a new carriage : she said the idea of his marrying
Miss Ingram still seemed strange to her; but from what
everybody said, and from what she had herself seen, she
could no longer doubt that the event would shortly take
place. 'You would be strangely incredulous if you did
doubt it/ was my mental comment. ' I don't doubt it/
The question followed, ' Where was I to go ? ' I dreamt
JANE EYEB 295
of Miss Ingram all the night : in a vivid morning dream I
saw her closing the gates of Thornfield against me and
pointing me out another road ; and Mr. Rochester looked on
with his arms folded — smiling sardonically, as it seemed, at
both her and me.
I had not notified to Mrs. Fairfax the exact day of my
return ; for I did not wish either car or carriage to meet me
at Millcote. I proposed to walk the distance quietly by
myself ; and very quietly, after leaving my box in the ostler's
care, did I slip away from the George Inn, about six o'clock
of a June evening, and take the old road to Thornfield : a
road which lay chiefly through fields, and was now little
frequented.
It was not a bright or splendid summer evening, though
fair and soft : the haymakers were at work all along the
road ; and the sky, though far from cloudless, was such as
promised well for the future : its blue — where blue was
visible — was mild and settled, and its cloud strata high and
thin. The west, too, was warm : no watery gleam chilled
it — it seemed as if there was a fire lit, an altar burning
behind its screen of marbled vapour, and out of apertures
shone a golden redness.
I felt glad as the road shortened before me : so glad
that I stopped once to ask myself what that joy meant :
and to remind reason that it was not to my homa I was
going, or to a permanent resting-place, or to a place where
fond friends looked out for me and waited my arrival. ' Mrs.
Fairfax will smile you a calm welcome, to be sure/ said I ;
'and little Ad&le will clap her hands and jump to see you :
but you know very well you are thinking of another than
they ; and that he is not thinking of you.'
But what is so headstrong as youth ? What so blind as
inexperience ? These affirmed that it was pleasure enough
to have the privilege of again looking on Mr. Bochester,
whether he looked on me or not ; and they added — ' Hasten !
hasten 1 be with him while you may : but a few more days
or weeks, at most, and you are parted with him for ever 1 '
296 JANE EYEE
And then I strangled a new-born agony — a deformed thing
which I could not persuade myself to own and rear— and
ran on.
They are making hay, too, in Thornfield meadows : or,
rather, the labourers are just quitting their work, and re-
turning home with their rakes on their shoulders : now, at
the hour I arrive. I have but a field or two to traverse, and
then I shall cross the road and reach the gates. How full
the hedges are of roses ! But I have no time to gather any ;
I want to be at the house. I passed a tall briar, shooting
leafy and flowery branches across the path ; I see the
narrow stilo with stone steps ; and I see —Mr. Eochester
sitting there, a book and a pencil in his hand : he is writing.
Well, he is not a ghost ; yet every nerve I have is un-
strung : for a moment I am beyond my own mastery. What
does it mean ? I did not think I should tremble in this way
when I saw him — or lose my voice or the power of motion
in his presence. I will go back as soon as I can stir : I need
not make an absolute fool of myself. I know another way
to the house. It does not signify if I knew twenty ways ;
for he lias seen me.
' Hillo ! ' he cries ; and he puts up his book and his
pencil. ' There you are ! Come on, if you please.1
I suppose I do come on ; though in what fashion I know
not : being scarcely cognisant of my movements, and
solicitous only to appear calm ; and, above all, to control the
working muscles of my face — which I feel rebel insolently
against my will, and struggle to express what I had resolved
to conceal. But I have a veil — it is down : I may make shift
yet to behave with decent composure.
' And this is Jane Eyre ? Are you coming from Millcote,
and on foot ? Yes — just one of your tricks : not to send for
a carriage, and come clattering over street and road like a
common mortal, but to steal into the vicinage of your home
along with twilight, just as if you were a dream or a shade.
What the deuce have you done with yourself this last
month?'
JANE EYBE 297
' I have been with my aunt, sir, who is dead.1
1 A true Janian reply ! Good angels be my guard ! She
comes from the other world — from the abode of people who
are dead ; and tells me so when she meets me alone here in
the gloaming I If I dared, I'd touch you, to see if you are
substance or shadow, you elf ! — but I'd as soon offer to take
hold of a blue ignis fatuus light in a marsh. Truant !
truant ! ' he added, when he had paused an instant. ' Absent
from me a whole month : and forgetting me quite, I'll be
sworn ! '
I knew there would be pleasure in meeting my master
again ; even though broken by the fear that he was so soon
to cease to be my master, and by the knowledge that I was
nothing to him : but there was ever in Mr. Eochester (so at
least I thought) such a wealth of the power of communicating
happiness, that to taste but of the crumbs he scattered to
stray and stranger birds like me was to feast genially. His
last words were balm : they seemed to imply that it imported
something to him whether I forgot him or not. And he had
spoken of Thornfield as my home — would that it were my
homel
He did not leave the stile, and I hardly liked to ask to
go by. I inquired soon if he had not been to London.
' Yes : I suppose you found that out by second-sight/
' Mrs. Fairfax told me in a letter.'
' And did she inform you what I went to do ? '
' Oh, yes, sir I Everybody knew your errand.'
' You must see the carriage, Jane, and tell me if you don't
think it will suit Mrs. Eochester exactly ; and whether she
won't look like Queen Boadicea, leaning back against those
purple cushions. I wish, Jane, I were a trifle better adapted
to match with her externally. Tell me now, fairy as you
are, — can't you give me a charm, or a philter, or something
of that sort, to make me a handsome man ? '
1 It would be past the power of magic, sir ; ' and, in
thought, I added, ' A loving eye is all the charm needed : to
298 JANE EYEE
such you are handsome enough ; or rather, your sternness
has a power heyond beauty.'
Mr. Bochester had sometimes read my unspoken thoughts
with an acumen to me incomprehensible : in the present
instance he took no notice of my abrupt vocal response ; but
he smiled at me with a certain smile he had of his own, and
which he used but on rare occasions. He seemed to think
it too good for common purposes : it was the real sunshine
of feeling — he shed it over me now.
' Pass, Janet,' said he, making room for me to cross the
stile : ' go up home, and stay your weary little wandering
feet at a friend's threshold.'
All I had now to do was to obey him in silence : no need
for me to colloquise further. I got over the stile without a
word, and meant to leave him calmly. An impulse held me
fast, — a force turned me round. I said — or something in
me said for me, and in spite of me : —
' Thank you, Mr. Eochester, for your great kindness. I
am strangely glad to get back again to you ; and wherever
you are is my home — my only home/
I walked on so fast that even he could hardly have over-
taken me had he tried. Little Ad61e was half wild with
delight when she saw me. Mrs. Fairfax received me with
her usual plain friendliness. Leah smiled ; and even Sophie
bid me - bon soir ' with glee. This was very pleasant : there
is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-
creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to
their comfort.
I, that evening, shut my eyes resolutely against the
future : I stopped my ears against the voice that kept warn-
ing me of near separation and coming grief. When tea was
over and Mrs. Fairfax had taken her knitting, and I had
assumed a low seat near her, and Ad61e, kneeling on the
carpet, had nestled close up to me, and a sense of mutual
affection seemed to surround us with a ring of golden peace,
I uttered a silent prayer that we might not be parted far or
soon; but when, as we thus sat, Mr. Eochester entered,
JANE EYEB 299
unannounced, and looking at us, seemed to take pleasure in
the spectacle of a group so amicable — when he said he sup-
posed the old lady was all right now that she had got her
adopted daughter back again, and added that he saw Ad61e
was ' pr&te a croquer sa petite maman Anglaise ' — I half
ventured to hope that he would, even after his marriage,
keep us together somewhere under the shelter of his pro-
tection, and not quite exiled from the sunshine of his
presence. t
A fortnight of dubious calm succeeded my return to
Thornfield Hall. Nothing was said of the master's marriage,
and I saw no preparation going on for such an event.
Almost every day I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had yet heard
anything decided : her answer was always in the negative.
Once, she said, she had actually put the question to Mr.
Kocfhester as to when he was going to bring his bride
home ; but- he had answered her only by a joke, and one
of his queer looks, and she could not tell what to make of
him.
One thing specially surprised me, and that was, there
were no journeyings backward and forward, no visits to
Ingram Park : to be sure it was twenty miles off, on the
borders of another county ; but what was that distance to
an ardent lover ? To so practised and indefatigable a horse-
man as Mr. Eochester it would be but a morning's ride. I
began to cherish hopes I had no right to conceive : that the
match was broken off ; that rumour had been mistaken ;
that one or both parties had changed their minds. I used
to look at my master's face to see if it were sad or fierce ;
but I could not remember the time when it had been so
uniformly clear of clouds or evil feelings. If, in the moments
I and my pupil spent with him, I lacked spirits and sank
into inevitable dejection, he became even gay. Never had
he called me more frequently to his presence; never been
kinder to me when there — and, alas 1 never had I loved him
so well.
300 JANE EYES
CHAPTEE XXIII
A SPLENDID Midsummer shone over England : skies so pure,
suns so radiant as were then seen in long succession, seldom
favour, even singly, our wave-girt land. It was as if a band
of Italian days had come from the South, like a flock of
glorious passenger birds, and lighted to rest them on fche
cliffs of Albion. The hay was all got in ; the fields round
Thornfield were green and shorn ; the roads white and
baked ; the trees were in their dark prime ; hedge and wood,
full-leaved and deeply tinted, contrasted well with the sunny
hue of the cleared meadows between.
On Midsummer-eve, Adele, weary with gathering wild
strawberries in Hay Lane half the day, had gone to bed with
the sun. I watched her drop asleep, and when I left her I
sought the garden.
It was now the sweetest hour of the twenty-four : — ' Day
its fervid fires had wasted/ and dew fell cool on panting plain
and scorched summit. Where the sun had gone down in
simple state — pure of the pomp of clouds — spread a solemn
purple, burning with the light of red jewel and furnace flame
at one point, on one hill-peak, and extending high and wide,
soft and still softer, over half heaven. The east had its own
charm of fine, deep blue, and its own modest gem, a rising
and solitary star : soon it would boast the moon ; but she
was yet beneath the horizon.
I walked a while on the pavement ; but a subtle, well-
known scent— that of a cigar — stole from some window; I saw
the library casement open a handbreath ; I knew I might be
watched thence ; so I went apart into the orchard. No nook
in the grounds more sheltered and more Eden-like ; it was
JANE EYBE 301
full of trees, it bloomed with flowers : a very high wall shut
it out from the court, on one side ; on the other, a beech
avenue screened it from the lawn. At the bottom was a
sunk fence ; its sole separation from lonely fields ; a winding
walk, bordered with laurels and terminating in a giant
horse-chestnut, circled at the base by a seat, lod down to
the fence. Here one could wander unseen. While such
honey-dew fell, such silence reigned, such gloaming gathered,
I felt as if I could haunt such shade for ever : but in thread-
ing the flower and fruit parterres at the upper part of the
inclosure, enticed there by the light the now-rising moon
casts on this more open quarter, my step is stayed — not by
sound, not by sight, but once more by a warning fragrance.
Sweet briar and southernwood, jasmine, pink, and rose,
have long been yielding their evening sacrifice of incense :
this new scent is neither of shrub nor flower ; it is — I know
it well — it is Mr. Eochester's cigar. I look round, and I
listen. I see trees laden with ripening fruit. I hear a
nightingale warbling in a wood half a mile off ; no moving
form is visible, no coming step audible ; but that perfume
increases : I must flee. 1 make for the wicket leading to the
shrubbery, and I see Mr. Eochester entering. I step aside
into the ivy recess ; he will not stay long : lie will soon
return whence he came, and if I sit still he will never see me.
But no — eventide is as pleasant to him as to me, and this
antique garden as attractive ; and he strolls on, now lifting
the gooseberry tree branches to look at the fruit, large as
plums, with which they are laden ; now taking a ripe cherry
f rom the wall ; now stooping towards a knot of flowers, either
to inhale their fragrance or to admire the dew-beads on their
petals. A great moth goes humming by me ; it alights on a
plant at Mr. Eochester's foot: he sees it, and bends to
examine it.
'Now he has his back towards me,' thought I, * and he
is occupied too ; perhaps, if I walk softly, I can slip away
unnoticed.'
I trod on an edging of turf that the crackle of the pebbly
302 JANE EYBB
gravel might not botray me: he was standing among the
beds at a yard or two distant from where I had to pass ; the
moth apparently engaged him. ' I shall get by very well,' I
meditated. As I crossed his shadow, thrown long over the
garden by the moon, not yet risen high, he said quietly
without turning :— -' Jane, come and look at this fellow/
I had made no noise : he had not eyes behind — could hig
shadow feel ? I started at first, and then I approached him.
' Look at his wings,1 said he ; 'he reminds me rather of a
West Indian insect ; one does not often see so large and gay
a night-rover in England : there ! he is flown/
The moth roamed away. I was sheepishly retreating
also ; but Mr. Eochester followed me, and when we reached
the wicket, he said : — ' Turn back : on so lovely a. night it is
a shame to sit in the house ; and surely no one can wish to
go to bed while sunset is thus at meeting with moonrise/
It is one of my faults that, though my tongue is some-
times prompt enough at an answer, there are times when it
sadly fails me in framing an excuse ; and always the lapse
occurs at some crisis, when a facile word or plausible pretext
is specially wanted to get me out of painful embarrassment.
I did not like to walk at this hour alone with Mr. Eochester
in the shadowy orchard ; but I could not find a reason to
allege for leaving him. I followed with lagging step, and
thoughts busily bent on discovering a means of extrication ;
but he himself looked so composed, and so grave also, I
became ashamed of feeling any confusion : the evil — if evil
existent or prospective there was — seemed to lie with me
only ; his mind was unconscious and quiet.
' Jane/ he recommenced, as we entered the laurel walk,
and slowly strayed down in the direction of the sunk fence
and the horse-chestnut, ' Thornfield is a pleasant place in
summer, is it not ? '
1 Yes, sir/
' You must have become in some degree attached to the
house, — you, who have an eye for natural beauties, and a good
deal of the organ of Adhesiveness? '
JANE EYEB 303
' I am attached to it, indeed.1
' And though I don't comprehend how it is, I perceive
you have acquired a degree of regard for that foolish little
child, Addle, too ; and even for simple dame Fairfax ? '
1 Yes, sir ; in different ways, I have an affection for both.1
1 And would be sorry to part with them ? '
'Yes.1
' Pity ! f he said, and sighed and paused. ' It is always
the way of events in this life,1 he continued presently : ' no
sooner have you got settled in a pleasant resting-place, than
a voice calls out to you to rise and move on, for the hour of
repose is expired.'
1 Must I move on, sir ? ' I asked. ' Must I leave Thorn-
field?'
' I believe you must, Jane. I am sorry, Janet, but I
believe indeed you must.'
This was a blow : but I did not let it prostrate me.
' Well, sir, I shall be ready when the order to march
comes.'
' It is come now — I must give it to-night.'
' Then you are going to be married, sir ? '
' Ex-act-ly — pre-cise-ly : with your usual acuteness, you
have hit the nail straight on the head.'
1 Soon, sir ? '
'Very soon, my that is, Miss Eyre: and you'll re-
remember, Jane, the first time I, or Rumour, plainly inti-
mated to you that it was my intention to put my old
bachelor's neck into the sacred noose, to enter into the holy
estate of matrimony— to take Miss Ingram to my bosom, in
short (she's an extensive armful : but that's not to the point —
one can't have too much of such a very excellent thing as my
beautiful Blanche) : well, as I was saying- -listen to me, Jane !
You're not turning your head to look after more moths, are
you ? That was only a lady-clock, child, ' flying away home.'
I wish to remind you that it was you who first said to me,
with that discretion I respect in you — with that foresight,
prudence, and humility which befit your responsible and
304 JANE EYBE
dependent position — that in case I married Miss Ingram —
both you and little Adele had better trot forthwith. I pass
over the sort of slur conveyed in this suggestion on the
character of my beloved ; indeed, when you are far away,
Janet, I'll try to forget it : I shall notice only its wisdom ;
which is such that I have made it my law of action. Adele
must go to school; and you, Miss Eyre, must get a new
situation/
1 Yes, sir, I will advertise immediately : and meantime, I
suppose ' 1 was going to say, * I suppose I may stay here
till I find another shelter to betake myself to : ' but I stopped,
feeling it would not do to risk a long sentence, for my voice
was not quite under command.
' In about a month I hope to be a bridegroom,' continued
Mr. Eochester ; ' and in the interim I shall myself look out
for employment and an asylum for you/
1 Thank you, sir ; I am sorry to give '
' Oh, no need to apologise ! I consider that when a de-
pendent does her duty as well as you have done yours, she
has a sort of claim upon her employer for any little assist-
ance he can conveniently render her ; indeed I have already,
through my future mother-in-law, heard of a place that /
think will suit : it is to undertake the education of the five
daughters of Mrs. Dionysius O'Gall, of Bitternutt Lodge,
Connaught, Ireland. You'll like Ireland, I think : they're
such warm-hearted people there, they say/
' It is a long way off, sir/
1 No matter — a girl of your sense will not object to the
voyage or the distance/
1 Not the voyage, but the distance : and then the sea is
a barrier '
' From what, Jane ? '
1 From England and from Thornfield : and '
'Well?1
' From you, sir/
I said this almost involuntarily; and, with as little
sanction of free will, my tears gushed out. I did not cry
JANE EYEE 305
so as to be heard, however; I avoided sobbing. The
thought of Mrs. O'Gall and Bitternutt Lodge struck cold to
my heart ; and colder the thought of all the brine and foam,
destined, as it seemed, to rush between me and the master
at whose side I now walked ! and coldest the remembrance
of the wider ocean — wealth, caste, custom intervened between
me and what I naturally and inevitably loved.
' It is a long way/ I again said.
1 It is to be sure ; and when you get to Bitternutt Lodge,
Connaught, Ireland, I shall never see you again, Jane :
that's morally certain. I never go over to Ireland, not
having myself much of a fancy for the country. We have
been good friends, Jane ; have we not ? '
1 Yes, sir.'
' And when friends are on the eve of separation, they like
to spend the little time that remains to them close to each
other. Come— we'll talk over the voyage and the parting
quietly, half an hour or so, while the stars enter into their
shining life up in heaven yonder : here is the chestnut tree :
here is the bench at its old roots. Come, we will sit there
in peace to-night, though we should never more be destined
to sit there together/ He seated me and himself.
* It is a long way to Ireland, Janet, and I am sorry to
send my little friend on such weary travels ; but if I can't
do better, how is it to be helped ? Are you anything akin to
me, do you think, Jane ? '
I could risk no sort of answer by this time : my heart
was full.
'Because/ he said, 'I sometimes have a queer feeling
with regard to you — especially when you are near me, as
now : it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs,
tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated
in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if
that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land
come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion
will be snapt ; and then I've a nervous notion I should take
to bleeding inwardly. As for you — you'd forget me/
306 JANE EYEE
'That I never should, sir: you know '—impossible to
proceed.
1 Jane, do you hear that nightingale singing in the wood?
Listen ! '
In listening, I sobbed convulsively ; for I could repress
what I endured no longer ; I was obliged to yield, and I
was shaken from head to foot with acute distress. When
I did speak, it was only to express an impetuous wish that
I had never been born, or never come to Thornfield.
1 Because you are sorry to leave it ? '
The vehemence of emotion, stirred by grief and love
within me, was claiming mastery, and struggling for full
sway ; and asserting a right to predominate : to overcome,
to live, rise, and reign at last ; yes, — and to speak.
' I grieve to leave Thornfield : I love Thornfield — I love
it, because I have lived in it a full and delightful life, —
momentarily at least. I have not been trampled on. I
have not been petrified. I have not been buried with inferior
minds, and excluded from every glimpse of communion with
what is bright and energetic, and high. I have talked, face
to face, with what I reverence ; with what I delight in, —
with an original, a vigorous, an expanded mind. I have
known you, Mr. Eochester ; and it strikes me with terror
and anguish to feel I absolutely must be torn from you for
ever. I see the necessity of departure ; and it is like looking
on the necessity of death.'
' Where do you see the necessity ? ' he asked, suddenly.
' Where ? You, sir, have placed it before me.'
1 In what shape ? '
' In the shape of Miss Ingram ; a noble and beautiful
woman, — your bride.'
1 My bride ! What bride ? I have no bride 1 '
' But you will have.'
1 Yes ;— I will 1— I will ! ' He set his teeth.
' Then I must go — you have said it yourself.'
'No: you must stay! I swear it— and the oath shall
be kept.'
JANE EYEE 307
' I tell you I must go ! ' I retorted, roused to something
like passion. ' Do you think I can stay to become nothing
to you? Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine
without feelings ? and can bear to have my morsel of bread
snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed
fiom my cup ? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure,
plain, and little, I am soulless .and heartless ? You think
wiongl — I have as much soul as you, — and full as much
heart ! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and
much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave
me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to
you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities,
nor even ot mortal flesh — it is my spirit that addresses
your spirit ; just as if both had passed through the grave, and
wo stood at God's feet, equal, — as we are 1 '
1 As we are 1 ' repeated Mr. Eochester — ' so,' he added,
enclosing me in his arms, gathering nie to his breast, press-
ing his lips on my lips : ' so, Jane ! '
' Yes, so, sir/ I rejoined : ' and yet not so ; for you are a
married man — or as good as a married man, and wed to one
inferior to you — to one with whom you have no sympathy
— whom I do not believe you truly love ; for I have seen
and heard you sneer at her. I would scorn such a union :
therefore I am better than you — let me go I '
1 Where, Jane ? To Ireland ? '
1 Yes — to Ireland. I have spoken my mind, and can go
anywhere now.'
' Jane, be still ; don't struggle so, like a wild, frantic bird
that is rending its own plumage in its desperation.'
' I am no bird ; and no net ensnares me : I am a free
human being with an independent will ; which I now exert
to leave you.!
Another effort set me at liberty, and I stood erect before
him.
1 And your will shall decide your destiny/ he said : ' I
offer you my hand, my heart, and a share of all my
308 JANE EYEE
' You play a farce, which I merely laugh at.1
' I ask you to pass through life at my side — to be my
second self, and best earthly companion.'
' For that fate you have already made your choice, and
must abide by it.'
I Jane, be still a few moments ; you are over-excited : I
will be still too.'
A waft of wind came sweeping down the laurel walk, and
trembled through the boughs of the chestnut : it wandered
away — away — to an indefinite distance — it died. The
nightingale's song was then the only voice of the hour : in
listening to it, I again wept. Mr. Eochester sat quiet, look-
ing at me gently and seriously. Some time passed before
he spoke ; he at last said : — ' Come to my side, Jane, and let
us explain and understand one another.'
I 1 will never again come to your side : I am torn away
now, and cannot return.'
* But, Jane, I summon you as my wife : it is you only I
intend to many.'
I was silent : I thought he mocked me.
' Come, Jane — come hither.'
1 Your bride stands between us.'
He rose, and with a stride reached me.
' My bride is here,' he said, again drawing me to him,
' because my equal is here, and my likeness. Jane, will you
marry me ? '
Still I did not answer, and still I writhed myself from
his grasp : for I was still incredulous.
' Do you doubt me, Jane ? '
1 Entirely.1
1 You have no faith in me ? '
1 Not a whit/
' Am I a liar in your eyes ? ' he asked passionately.
1 Little sceptic, you shall be convinced. What love have I for
Miss Ingram ? None : and that you know. What love has she
for me ? None : as I have taken pains to prove ; I caused a
rumour to reach her that my fortune was not a third of
JANE EYEE 309
what was supposed, and after that I presented myself to see
the result ; it was coldness both from her and her mother-
I would not — I could not — marry Miss Ingram. You — you
strange — you almost unearthly thing!— I love as my own
flesh. You — poor and obscure, and small and plain as you
are — I entreat to accept me as a husband.9
' What, me ! ' I ejaculated : beginning in his earnestness
— and especially in his incivility — to credit his sincerity :
' me who have not a friend in the world but you — if you are
my friend : not a shilling but what you ha\e given me ? '
' You, Jane. I must have you for my own — entirely my
own. Will you be mine ? Say yes, quickly/
' Mr. Kochester, let me look at your face : turn to the
moonlight.'
'Why?'
' Because I want to read your countenance ; turn ! '
1 There : you will find it scarcely more legible than a
crumpled, scratched page. Bead on : only make haste, for I
suffer.'
His face was very much agitated and very much flushed,
and there were strong workings in the features, and strange
gleams in the eyes.
' Oh, Jane, you torture me 1 ' he exclaimed. ' With that
searching and yet faithful and generous look, you torture
me!1
1 How can I do that ? If you are true, and your offer
real, my only feelings to you must be gratitude and devotion
— they cannot torture/
' Gratitude ! ' he ejaculated ; and added wildly — ' Jane,
accept me quickly. Say, Edward — give me my name-
Edward— I will marry you/
' Are you in earnest ? — Do you truly love me ? — Do you
sincerely wish me to be your wife ? '
' 1 do ; and if an oath is necessary to satisfy you, I swear it.'
1 Then, sir, I will marry you/
1 Edward— my little wife ! '
' Dear Edward ! '
310 JANE EYRE
' Come to me — come to me entirely now,1 said he : and
added, in his deepest tone, speaking in my ear as his cheek
was laid on mine, ' Make my happiness — I will make yours.'
1 God pardon me ! ' he subjoined ere long ; ' and man
meddle not with me : I have her, and will hold her/
' There is no one to meddle, sir. I have no kindred to
interfere.1
' No — that is the best of it,1 he said.
And if I had loved him less I should have thought his
accent and look of exultation savage ; but, sitting by him,
roused from the nightmare of parting — called to the
paradise of union — I thought only of the bliss given me to
drink in so abundant a flow. Again and again he said, ' Are
you happy, Jane ? ' And again and again I answered, ' Yes.'
After which he murmured, 'It will atone — it will atone.
Have I not found her friendless, and cold, and comfortless ?
Will I not guard, and cherish, and solace her ? Is there not
love in my heart, and constancy in my resolves ? It will
expiate at God's tribunal. I know my Maker sanctions what
I do. For the world's judgment — I wash my hands thereof,
For man's opinion — I defy it.1
But what had befallen the night ? The moon was not
yet set, and we were all in shadow : I could scarcely see my
master's face, near as I was. And what ailed the chestnut
tree? it writhed and groaned; while wind roared in the
laurel walk, and came sweeping over us.
'We must go in/ said Mr. Rochester: 'the weather
changes. I could have sat with thee till morning, Jane.'
' And so,1 thought I, ' could I with you.' I should have
said so, perhaps, but a livid, vivid spaik leapt out of a
cloud at which I was looking, and there was a crack, a crash,
and a close rattling peal ; and I thought only of hiding my
dazzled eyes against Mr. Rochester's shoulder.
The rain rushed down. He hurried me up the walk,
through the grounds, and into the house ; but we were quite
wet before we could pass the threshold. He was taking off
my shawl in the hall, and shaking the water out of my
JANE EYEE 311
loosened hair, when Mrs. Fairfax emerged from her room.
I did not observe her at first, nor did Mr. Eochester. The
lamp was lit. The clock was on the stroke of twelve.
1 Hasten to take off your wet things/ said he ; ' and before
you go, good-night — good-night, my darling ! '
He kissed me repeatedly. When I looked up, on leaving
his arms, there stood the widow, pale, grave, and amazed.
I only smiled at her, and ran upstairs. ' Explanation will
do for another time/ thought I. Still, when I reached my
chamber, I felt a pang at the idea that she should even
temporarily misconstrue what she had seen. But joy soon
effaced every other feeling ; and loud as the wind blew, near
and deep as the thunder crashed, fierce and frequent as the
lightning gleamed, cataract-like as the rain fell during a
storm of two hours' duration, I experienced no fear, and little
awe. Mr. Eochester came thrice to my door in the course
of it, to ask if I was safe and tranquil : and that was comfort,
that was strength for anything.
Before I left my bed in the morning, little Adele came
running in to tell me that the great horse-chestnut at the
bottom of the orchard had been struck by lightning in the
night, and half of it split away.
312 JANE EYEE
CHAPTEE XXIV
As I rose and dressed, I thought over what had happened,
and wondered if it were a dream. I could not be certain of
the reality till I had seen Mr. Eochester again, and heard
him renew his words of love and promise.
While arranging my hair, I looked at my face in the glass,
and felt it was no longer plain : there was hope in its aspect,
and life in its colour ; and my eyes seemed as if they had
beheld the fount of fruition, and borrowed beams from the
lustrous ripple. I had often been unwilling to look at my
master, because I feared he could not be pleased at my look ;
but I was sure I might lift my face to his now, and not cool
his affection by its expression. I took a plain but clean
and light summer dress from my drawer and put it on : it
seemed no attire had ever so well become me ; because none
had I ever worn in so blissful a mood.
I was not surprised, when I ran down into the hall, to
see that a brilliant June morning had succeeded to the
tempest of the night ; and to feel, through the open glass
door, the breathing of a fresh and fragrant breeze. Nature
must be gladsome when I was so happy. A beggar-woman
and her little boy — pale, ragged objects both — were coming
up the walk, and I ran down and gave them all the money
I happened to have in my purse — some three or four
shillings : good or bad, they must partake of my jubilee.
The rooks cawed, and blither birds sang ; but nothing was
so merry or so musical as my own rejoicing heart.
Mrs. Fairfax surprised me by looking out of the window
with a sad countenance, and saying gravely : — ' Miss Eyre,
will you come to breakfast?' During the meal she was
JANE EYBE 313
quiet and cool: but I could not undeceive her then. I
must wait for my master to give explanations ; and so must
she. I ate what I could, and then I hastened upstairs. I
met Ad61e leaving the school-room.
' Where are you going ? It is time for lessons/
' Mr. Eochester has sent me away to the nursery.'
1 Where is he ? '
1 In there/ pointing to the apartment she had left ; and
I went in, and there he stood.
' Come and bid me good-morning/ said he. I gladly
advanced ; and it was not merely a cold word now, or even
a shake of the hand that I received, but an embrace and a
kiss. It seemed natural ; it seemed genial to be so well-
loved, so caressed by him.
1 Jane, you look blooming, and smiling, and pretty,' said
lie : ' truly pretty this morning. Is this my pale, little elf ? Is
this my mustard-seed? This little sunny-faced girl with
the dimpled cheek and rosy lips ; the satin-smooth hazel
hair, and the radiant hazel eyes ? ' (I had green eyes, reader ;
but you must excuse the mistake : for him they were new-
dyed, I suppose.)
' It is Jane Eyre, sir.1
1 Soon to be Jane Kochester,' lie added : ' in four weeks,
Janet, not a day more. Do you hear that ? '
1 did, and I could not quite comprehend it : it made me
giddy. The feeling, the announcement sent through me, was
something stronger than was consistent with joy — some-
thing that smote and stunned : it was, I think, almost fear.
' You blushed, and now you are white, Jane : what is
that for ? '
1 Because you gave me a new name — Jane Eochester ;
and it seems so strange.'
1 Yes, Mrs. Eochester/ said he ; ' young Mrs. Eochester
— Fairfax Eochester's girl-bride.'
1 It can never be, sir ; it does not sound likely. Human
beings never enjoy complete happiness in this world. I
was not born for a different destiny to the rest of my species :
314 JANE EYRE
to imagine such a lot befalling me is a fairy tale — a day-
dream/
I Which I can and will realise. I shall begin to-day.
This morning I wrote to my banker in London to send me
certain jewels he has in his keeping, — heir-looms for the
ladies of Thornfield. In a day or two I hope to pour them
into your lap : for every privilege, every attention shall be
yours, that I would accord a peer's daughter, . if about to
marry her.'
' Oh, sir ! — never mind jewels ! I don't like to hear
them spoken of. Jewels for Jane Eyre sounds unnatural and
strange : I would rather not have them.'
I 1 will myself put the diamond chain round your neck,
and the circlet on your forehead, — which it will become :
for nature, at least, has stamped her patent of nobility on this
brow, Jane ; and I will clasp the bracelets on these fine
wrists, and load these fairy-like fingers with rings.'
' No, no, sir ! think of other subjects, and speak of other
things, and in another strain. Don't address me as if I
were a beauty ; I am your plain, Quakerish governess.'
1 You are a beauty, in my eyes ; and a beauty just after
the desire of my heart, — delicate and aerial.'
1 Puny and insignificant, you mean. You are dreaming,
sir, — or you are sneering. For God's sake, don't be ironical ! '
' I will make the world acknowledge you a beauty too,'
he went on, while I really became uneasy at the strain he
had adopted ; because I felt he was either deluding himself,
or trying to delude me. ' I will attire my Jane in satin and
lace, and she shall have roses in her hair ; and I will cover
the head Hove best wibh a priceless veil.'
1 And then you won't know me, sir ; and I shall not be
your Jane Eyre any longer, but an ape in a harlequin's
jacket, — a jay in borrowed plumes. I would as soon see
you, Mr. Eochester, tricked out in stage-trappings, as myself
clad in a court-lady's robe ; and I don't call you handsome,
sir, though I love you most dearly : far too dearly to flatter
you. Don't flatter me.'
JANE EYEE 315
He pursued his theme, however, without noticing my
deprecation. ' This very day I shall take you in the carriage
to Millcote, and you must choose some dresses for yourself.
I told you we shall be married in four weeks. The wedding
is to take place quietly, in the church down below yonder ;
and then I shall waft you away at once to town. After a
brief stay there, I shall bear my treasure to regions nearer
the sun : to French vineyards and Italian plains ; and she
shall see whatever is famous in old story and in modern
record : she shall taste, too, of the life of cities ; and she
shall learn to value herself by just comparison with others/
* Shall I travel ? — and with you, sir ? '
' You shall sojourn at Paris, Eome, and Naples : at
Florence, Venice, and Vienna : all the ground I have
wandered over shall be re-trodden by you : wherever I
stamped my hoof, your sylph's foot shall step also. Ten
years since, I flow through Europe half mad ; with disgust,
hate, and rage, as my companions ; now I shall revisit it
healed and cleansed, with a very angel as my comforter/
I laughed at him as he said this. * I am not an angel,1 I
asserted ; ' and I will not be one till I die : I will be myself.
Mr. Eochester, you must neither expect nor exact anything
celestial of me — for you will not get it, any more than I
shall get it of you : which I do not at all anticipate/
1 What do you anticipate of me ? '
1 For a little while you will perhaps be as you are now, —
a very little while ; and then you will turn cool ; and then
you will be capricious ; and then you will be stern, and I
shall have much ado to please you : but when you get well
used to me, you will perhaps like me again — like me, I say,
not love me. I suppose your love will effervesce in six
months, or less. I have observed in books written by men,
that period assigned as the farthest to which a husband's
ardour extends. Yet, after all, as a friend and companion,
I hope never to become quite distasteful to my dear
master/
* Distasteful ! and like you again t I think I shall like
316 JANE EYKE
you again and yet again : and I will make you confess I
do not only like, but loce you — with truth, fervour, con-
stancy.'
1 Yet are you not capricious, sir ? '
' To women who please me only by their faces, I am the
very devil when I find out they have neither souls nor hearts
— when they open to me a perspective of flatness, triviality,
and perhaps imbecility, coarseness, and ill-temper : but to
the clear eye and eloquent tongue, to the soul made of fire,
and the character that bends but does not break — at once
supple and stable, tractable and consistent — I am ever tender
and true/
1 Had you ever experience of such a character, sir ? Did
you ever love such an one ? '
' I love it now.'
1 But before me : if I, indeed, in any respect come up to
that difficult standard ? '
' I never met your likeness. Jane : you please me, and
you master me — you seem to submit, and I like the sense of
pliancy you impart : and while I am twining the soft, silken
skein round my finger, it sends a thrill up my ai m to my
heart. I am influenced— conquered ; and the influence is
sweeter than I can express ; and the conquest I undergo has
a witchery beyond any triumph I can win. Why do you
smile, Jane ? What does that inexplicable, that uncanny
turn of countenance mean ? '
' I was thinking, sir (you will excuse the idea ; it was
involuntary), I was thinking of Hercules and Samson with
their charmers '
' You were, you little elfish '
' Hush, sir ! You don't talk very wisely just now ; any
more than those gentlemen acted very wisely. However,
had they been married, they would no doubt by their severity
as husbands have made up for their softness as suitors ; and
so will you, I fear. I wonder how you will answer me a
year hence, should I ask a favour it does not suit your con-
venience or pleasure to grant/
JANE EYEE 317
* Ask me something now, Janet — the least thing : I desire
to be entreated '
* Indeed, I will, sir ; I have my petition all ready.1
' Speak I But if you look up and smile with that coun-
tenance, I shall swear concession before I know to what, and
that will make a fool of me/
* Not at all, sir ; I ask only this : don't send for the jewels,
and don't crown me with roses : you might as well put a
bolder of gold lace round that plain pocket handkerchief you
have there.'
' I might as well " gild refined gold." I know it : your
request is granted then — for the time. I will remand the
order I despatched to my banker. But you have not yet
asked for anything ; you have prayed a gift to be withdrawn :
try again/
4 Well, then, sir ; have the goodness to gratify my
curiosity, which is much piqued on one point/
He looked disturbed. * What ? what ? ' he said hastily.
'Curiosity is a dangerous petition: it is well I have not
taken a vow to accord every request '
'But there can be no danger in complying with tm's,
sir/
1 Utter it, Jane : but I wish that instead of a mere
inquiry into perhaps, a secret, it was a wish for half niy
estate/
* Now, king Ahasuerus 1 What do I want with half your
estate ? Do you think I am a Jew-usurer, seeking good in-
vestment in land ? I would much rather have all your
confidence. You will not exclude me from your confidence,
if you admit me to your heart ? '
*You are welcome to all my confidence that is worth
having, Jane : but for God's sake don't desire a useless
burden ! Don't long for poison — don't turn out a downright
Eve on my hands I '
* Why not, sir ? You have just been telling me how much
you liked to be conquered, and how pleasant over-persuasion
is to you. Don't you think I had better take advantage of
318 JANE EYEB
the confession, and begin and coax, and entreat — even cry
and be sulky if necessary — for the sake of a mere essay of
my power ? '
1 1 dare you to any such experiment. Encroach, presume,
and the game is up.'
' Is it, sir ? You soon give in. How stern you look
now ! Your eyebrows have become as thick as my finger,
and your forehead resembles, wjmt, in some very astonishing
poetry, I once saw styled " a blue-piled thunderloft." That
will be your married look, sir, I suppose ? '
' If that will be your married look, I, as a Christian, will
soon give up the notion of consorting with a mere sprite or
salamander. But what had you to ask, thing?— out with
it!1
' There, you are less than civil now ; and I like rudeness a
great deal better than flattery. I had rather be a thing than
an angel. This is what I have to ask : — Why did you take
such pains to make me believe you wished to marry Miss
Ingram ? '
^ ' Is that all ? Thank God, it is no worse ! '
And now he unknit his black brows ; looked down,
smiling at me, and stroked my hair, as if well pleased at
seeing a danger averted.
1 1 think I may confess/ he continued, ' even although I
should make you a little indignant, Jane — and I have seen
what a fire-spirit you can be when you are indignant. You
glowed in the cool moonlight last night, when you mutinied
against fate, and claimed your rank as my equal. Janet,
by-the-by, it was you who made me the offer/
' Of course, I did. But to the point if you please, sir —
Miss Ingram?'
'Well, I feigned courtship of Miss Ingram, because I
wished to render you as madly in love with me as I was with
you ; and I knew jealousy would be the best ally I could call
in for the furtherance of that end/
' Excellent 1 — now you are small — not one whit bigger
than the end of my little finger. It was a burning shame,
JANE EYEE 319
and a scandalous disgrace to act in that way. Did you
think nothing of Miss Ingram's feelings, sir ? '
' Her feelings are concentrated in one- -pride ; and that
needs humbling. Were you jealous, Jane ? '
1 Never mind, Mr. Rochester : it is in no way interesting
to you to know that. Answer me truly once more. Do you
think Miss Ingram will not suffer from your dishones,
coquetry ? Won't she feel forsaken and deserted ? '
1 Impossible ! — when I told you how she, on the contrary,
deserted me: the idea of my insolvency cooled, or rather
extinguished, her flame in a moment.'
' You have a curious designing mind, Mr. Rochester. I
am afraid your principles on some points are eccentric/
1 My principles were never trained, Jane : they may have
grown a little awry for want of attention.1
' Once again, seriously ; may I enjoy the great good that
has been vouchsafed to me, without fearing that any one
else is suffering the bitter pain I myself felt a while ago ? '
1 That you may, my good little girl : there is not another
being in the world has the same pure love for me as yourself
— for I lay that pleasant unction to my soul, Jane, a belief
in your affection/
I turned my lips to the hand that lay on my shoulder. I
loved him very much — more than I could trust myself to
say — more than words had power to express.
1 Ask something more,' he said presently ; ' it is my delight
to be entreated, and to yield/
I was again ready with my request.
1 Communicate your intentions to Mrs. Fairfax, sir : she
saw me with you last night in the hall, and she was shocked.
Give her some explanation before I see her again. It pains
me to be misjudged by so good a woman/
1 Go to your room, and put on your bonnet/ he replied.
'I mean you to accompany me to Millcote this morning;
and while you prepare for the drive, I will enlighten the old
lady's understanding. Did she think, Janet, you had given
the world for love, and considered it well lost ? '
M2
320 JANE EYEE
1 1 believe she thought *I had forgotten my station, and
yours, sir.'
' Station ! station 1 — your station is in my heart, and on
the necks of those who would insult you, now or hereafter —
Go/
I was soon dressed ; and when I heard Mr. Bochester
quit Mrs. Fairfax's parlour, I hurried down to it. The old
lady had been reading her morning portion of Scripture —
the lesson for the day ; her Bible lay open before her, and
her spectacles were upon it. Her occupation, suspended by
Mr. ^Rochester's announcement, seemed now forgotten : her
eyes, fixed on the blank wall opposite, expressed the surprise
of a quiet mind, stirred by unwonted tidings. Seeing me,
she roused herself : she made a sort of effort to smile, and
framed a few words of congratulation ; but the smile expired,
and the sentence was abandoned unfinished. She put up
her spectacles, shut the Bible, and pushed her chair back
from the table.
' I feel so astonished,' she began, ' I hardly know what to
say to you, Miss Eyre. I have surely not been dreaming,
have I? Sometimes I half fall asleep when I am sitting
alone, and fancy things that have never happened. It has
seemed to me more than once when I have been in a doze,
that my dear husband, who died fifteen years since, has
come in and sat down beside me ; and that I have even
heard him call me by my name, Alice, as he used to do.
Now, can you tell me whether it is actually true that Mr.
Kochester has asked you to marry him ? Don't laugh at me.
But I really thought he came in here five minutes ago, and
said, that in a month you would be his wife.'
1 He has said the same thing to me,' I replied.
1 He has ! Do you believe him ? Have you accepted
him?'
' Yes.1
She looked at me bewildered.
' I could never have thought it. He is a proud man : all
the Bochesters were proud : and his father, at least, liked
JANE EYEE 321
money. He, too, has always been called careful. He
means to marry you ? '
' He tells me so/
She surveyed my whole person : In her eyes I read that
they had there found no charm powerful enough to solve
the enigma.
1 It passes me ! * she continued : ' but no doubt it is true
since you say so. How it will answer, I cannot tell : I
really don't know. Equality of position and fortune is often
advisable in such cases; and there are twenty years of
difference in your ages. He might almost be your father/
' No, indeed, Mrs. Fairfax ! ' exclaimed I, nettled : ' he is
nothing like my father ! No one, who saw us together,
would suppose it for an instant. Mr. Eochester looks as
young, and is as young, as some men at five-and-twenty/
1 Is it really for love he is going to marry you ? ' she
asked.
I was so hurt by her coldness and scepticism that the
tears rose to my eyes.
* I am sorry to grieve you/ pursued the widow ; ' but you
are so young, and so little acquainted with men, I wished to
put you on your guard. It is an old saying that " all is not
gold that glitters ; " and in this case I do fear there will
be something found to be different to what either you or I
expect/
' Why ? — am I a monster ? ' I said : ' is it impossible that
Mr. Eochester should have a sincere affection for me ? '
' No : you are very well ; and much improved of late :
and Mr. Eochester, I daresay, is fond of you. I have
always noticed that you were a sort of pet of his. There are
times when, for your sake, I have been a little uneasy at his
marked preference, and have wished to put you on your
guard : but I did not like to suggest even the possibility of
wrong. I knew such an idea would shock, perhaps offend
you ; and you were so discreet, and so thoroughly modest
and sensible, I hoped you might be trusted to protect your-
self. Last night I cannot tell you what I suffered when I
322 JANE EYEE
sought all over the house, and could find you nowhere, nor
the master either ; and then, at twelve o'clock, saw you
come in with him.'
1 Well, never mind that now/ I interrupted impatiently :
' it is enough that all was right/
'I hope all will be right in the end/ she said: 'but
believe me, you cannot be too careful. Try and keep Mr.
Bochester at a distance : distrust yourself as well as him.
Gentlemen in his station are not accustomed to marry their
governesses.'
I was growing truly irritated : happily, Ad61e ran in.
' Let me go, — let me go to Millcote too ! ' she cried.
1 Mr. Bochester won't : though there is so much room in the
new carriage. Beg him to let me go, mademoiselle/
' That I will, Ad61e ; ' and I hastened away with her,
glad to quit my gloomy monitress. The carriage was ready:
they were bringing it round to the front, and my master was
pacing the pavement, Pilot following him backwards and for-
wards.
' Ad&le may accompany us, may she not, sir ? '
€ I told her no. I'll have no brats ! — I'll have only you/
' Do let her go, Mr. Bochester, if you please : it would be
better/
' Not it : she will be a restraint/
He was quite peremptory, both in look and voice. The
chill of Mrs. Fairfax's warnings, and the damp of her doubts
were upon me: something of un substantiality and uncer-
tainty had beset my hopes. I half lost the sense of power
over him. I was about mechanically to obey him, with-
out further remonstrance; but as he helped mo into the
carriage, he looked at my face.
1 What is the matter ? ' ho asked ; ' all the sunshine is
gone. Do you really wish the bairn to go ? Will it annoy
you if she is left behind ? '
' I would far rather she went, sir/
1 Then off for your bonnet, and back, like a flash of light-
ning I ' cried he to Ad&le.
JANE EYEB 323
She obeyed him with what speed she might.
1 After all, a single morning's interruption will not matter
much,1 said he, ' when I mean shortly to claim you — your
thoughts, conversation, and company — for life.'
Adele, when lifted in, commenced kissing me, by way of
expressing her gratitude for my intercession : she was in-
stantly stowed away into a corner on the other side of him.
She then peeped round to where I sat ; so stern a neighbour
was too restrictive : to him, in his present fractious mood,
she dared whisper no observations, nor ask of him any
information.
1 Let her come to me,' I entreated : ' she will, perhaps,
trouble you, sir : there is plenty of room on this side.'
He handed her over as if she had been a lap-dog ; ' I'll
send her to school yet,' he said, but now he was smiling.
Ad&le heard him, and asked if she was to go to school
1 sans mademoiselle.'
1 Yes,' he replied, ' absolutely sans mademoiselle ; for I
am to take mademoiselle to the moon, and there I shall seek
a cave in one of the white valleys among the volcano-tops,
and mademoiselle shall live with me there, and only me.'
1 She will have nothing to eat : you will starve her,'
observed Adfele.
' I shall gather manna for her morning and night : the
plains and hillsides in the moon are bleached with manna,
1 She will want to warm herself : what will she do for a
fire?'
' Fire rises out of the lunar mountains : when she is cold,
I'll carry her up to a peak and lay her down on the edge of
a crater.'
1 Oh, qu'elle y sera mal — peu confortable 1 And her
clothes, they will wear out : how can she get new ones ? '
Mr. Eochester professed to be puzzled. ' Hem ? ' said
he. ' What would you do, Ad61e ? Cudgel your brains for
an expedient. How would a white or a pink cloud answer
324 JANE EYEE
for a gown, do you think ? And one could cut a pretty
enough scarf out of a rainbow.1
'She is far better as she is,1 concluded Ad&le, after
musing some time : ' besides, she would get tired of living
with only you in the moon. If I were mademoiselle, I would
never consent to go with you/
1 She has consented : she has pledged her word/
1 But you can't get her there : there is no road to the
moon : it is all air ; and neither you nor she can fly/
' Ad61e, look at that field/ We were now outside Thorn-
field gates, and bowling lightly along the smooth road to
Millcote, where the dust was well-laid by the thunder-storm,
and where the low hedges and lofty timber trees on each
side glistened green, and rain-refreshed.
'In that field, Ad61e, I was walking late one evening
about a fortnight since — the evening of the day you helped
me to make hay in the orchard meadows ; and as I was tired
with raking swaths, I sat down to rest me on a stile ; and
there I took out a little book and a pencil, and began to
write about a misfortune that befell me long ago and a wish
I had for happy days to come : I was writing away very fast,
though daylight was fading from the leaf, when something
came up the path and stopped two yards off me. I looked
at it. It was a little thing with a veil of gossamer on its
head. I beckoned it to come near me ; it stood soon at my
knee. I never spoke to it, and it never spoke to me, in
words : but I read its eyes, and it read mine ; and our
speechless colloquy was to this effect : — It was a fairy, and
come from Elf -land, it said ; and its errand was to make me
happy : I must go with it out of the common world to a
lonely place — such as the moon, for instance — and it nodded
its head towards her horn, rising over Hay-hill : it told me
of the alabaster cave and silver vale where we might live. I
said I should like to go ; but reminded it, as you did me, that
I had no wings to fly/
1 " Oh," returned the fairy, " that does not signify ! Here
is a talisman will remove all difficulties ; " and she held out
JANE EYEB 325
a pretty gold ring. " Put it," she said, " on the fourth finger
of my left hand, and I am yours, and you are mine ; and we
shall leave earth, and make our own heaven yonder." She
nodded again at the moon. The ring, Adele, is in my
breeches-pocket, under the disguise of a sovereign : but I
mean soon to change it to a ring again.1
* But what has mademoiselle to do with it ? I don't care
for the fairy : you said it was mademoiselle you would take
to the moon ? '
1 Mademoiselle is a fairy/ he said, whispering mysteri-
ously. Whereupon I told her not to mind his badinage ; and
she, on her part, evinced a fund of genuine French scepti-
cism : denominating Mr. Rochester ' un vrai menteur/ and
assuring Inm that she had made no account whatever of his
' Coiites de f<§e/ and that ' du reste, il n'y avait pas de f6es,
et quand mtoe il y en avait/ she was sure they would never
appear to him, nor ever give him rings, or offer to live with
him in the moon. The hour spent at Millcote was a some-
what harassing one to me. Mr. Rochester obliged me to go
to a certain silk warehouse : there I was ordered to choose
half a dozen dresses. I hated the business, I begged leave to
defer it : no — it should be gone through with now. By dint
of entreaties expressed in energetic whispers I reduced the
half-dozen to two: these, however, he vowed he would
select himself. With anxiety I watched his eye rove over the
gay stores: he fixed on a rich silk of the most brilliant
amethyst dye, and a superb pink satin. I told him in a new
series of whispers, that he might as well buy me a gold
gown and a silver bonnet at once : I should certainly never
venture to wear his choice. With infinite difficulty, for he
was stubborn as a stone, I persuaded him to make an
exchange in favour of a sober black satin and pearl-grey
silk. ' It might pass for the present/ he said ; * but he would
yet see me glittering like a parterre.'
Glad was I to get him out of the silk warehouse, and then
out of a jeweller's shop : the more he bought me, the more
my cheek burned with a sense of annoyance and degradation
326 JANE EYEE
As we re-entered the carriage, and I sat back feverish and
fagged, I remembered what in the hurry of events, dark and
bright, I had wholly forgotten — the letter of my uncle,
John Eyre, to Mrs. Eeed : his intention to adopt me and make
me his legatee. ' It would, indeed, be a relief,1 1 thought,
1 if I had ever so small an independency ; I never can bear
being dressed like a doll by Mr. Bochester, or sitting like a
second Danae with the golden shower falling daily round
me. I will write to Madeira the moment I get home, and
tell my uncle John I am going to be married, and to whom :
if I had but a prospect of one day bringing Mr. Eochester
an accession of fortune, I could better endure to be kept by
him now.* And somewhat relieved by this idea (which I
failed not to execute that day), I ventured once more to meet
my master's and lover's eye; which most pertinaciously
sought mine, though I averted both face and gaze. He
smiled ; and I thought his smile was such as a sultan might,
in a blissful and fond moment, bestow on a slave his gold
and gems had enriched : I crushed his hand, which was ever
hunting mine, vigorously, and thrust it back to him red with
the passionate pressure
' You need not look in that way/ I said : ' if you do
I'll wear nothing but my old Lowood frocks to the end of
the chapter. I'll be married in this lilac gingham — you
may make a dressing-gown for yourself out of the pearl-
grey silk, and an infinite series of waistcoats out of the black
satin.'
He chuckled ; he rubbed his hands : ' Oh, it is rich to see
and hear her ! ' he exclaimed. ' Is she original ? Is she
piquant ? I would not exchange this one little English girl
for the grand Turk's whole seraglio ; gazelle-eyes, houri
forms, and all 1 '
The Eastern allusion bit me again : ' I'll not stand you an
inch ip the stead of a seraglio/ 1 said ; ' so don't consider me
an equivalent for one ; if you have a fancy for anything in
uhat line, away with you, sir, to the bazaars of Stamboul
JANE EYEB 327
without delay; and lay out in extensive slave-purchases
some of that spare cash you seem at a loss to spend satisfac-
torily here.'
I And what will you do, Janet, while I am bargaining for
so many tons of flesh and such an assortment of black
eyes ? f
' I'll be preparing myself to go out as a missionary to
preach liberty to them that are enslaved — your harem
inmates amongst the rest. I'll get admitted there, and I'll
stir up mutiny; and you, three-tailed bashaw as you are,
sir, shall in a trice find yourself fettered amongst our hands :
nor will I, for one, consent to cut your bonds till you have
signed a charter, the most liberal that despot ever yet con-
ferred/
' I would consent to be at your mercy, Jane.'
' I would have no mercy, Mr. Eochester, if you supplicated
for it with an eye like that. While you looked so, I should be
certain that whatever charter you might grant under
coercion, your first act, when released, would be to violate
its conditions.'
'Why, Jane, what would you have? I fear you will
compel me to go through a private marriage ceremony,
besides that performed at the altar. You will stipulate, I
see, for peculiar terms — what will they be ? '
I 1 only want an easy mind, sir ; not crushed by crowded
obligations. Do you remember what you said of C6hne
Varens ? — of the diamonds, the cashmeres you gave her ? I
will not be your English C61ine Varens. I shall continue to
act as Ad&le's governess ; by that I shall earn my board and
lodging, and thirty pounds a year besides. I'll furnish my
own wardrobe out of that money, and you shall give me
nothing but '
'Well, but what?'
1 Your regard : and if I give you mine in return, that debt
will be quit.'
' Well, for cool native impudence, and pure innate pride,
you haven't your equal,' said he. We were now approaching
328 JANE EYEE
Thornfield. '\\ill it please you to dine with me to-day?'
he asked, as we re-entered the gates.
'No, thank you, sir.'
I And what for, " no, thank you," if one may inquire ? '
I 1 never have dined with you, sir : and I see no reason
why I should now : till '
' Till what ? You delight in half -phrases/
1 Till I can't help it.'
1 Do you suppose I eat like an ogre, or a ghoul, that you
dread being the companion of my repast ? '
' I have formed no supposition on the subject, sir ; but I
want to go on as usual for another month.'
' You will give up your governessing slavery at once.'
' Indeed ! begging your pardon, sir, I shall not. I sball
just go on with it as usual. I shall keep out of your way
all day, as I have been accustomed to do : you may send for
me in the evening, when you feel disposed to see me, and I'll
come then ; but at no other time.'
' I want a smoke, Jane, or a pinch of snuff, to comfort
me under all this, " pour me donner une contenance," as Addle
would say ; and unfortunately I have neither my cigar-case,
nor my snuff-box. But listen — whisper- it is your time
now, little tyrant, but it will be mine presently : and when
once I have fairly seized you, to have and to hold, I'll just
— figuratively speaking — attach you to a chain like this'
(touching his watch-guard). 'Yes, bonny wee thing, I'll
wear you in my bosom, lest my jewel I should tyne.'
He said this as he helped me to alight from the carriage ;
and while he afterwards lifted out Addle, I entered the
house, and made good my retreat upstairs.
He duly summoned me to his presence in the evening.
I had prepared an occupation for him ; for I was determined
not to spend the whole time in a ttte-d-Ute conversation. I
remembered his fine voice ; I knew he liked to sing — good
singers generally do. I was no vocalist myself, and, in his
fastidious judgment, no musician either ; but I delighted in
listening when the performance was good. No sooner had
JANE EYBE 329
twilight, that hour of romance, began to lower her blue and
starry banner over the lattice, than I rose, opened the pianc,
and entreated him, for the love of heaven, to give me a song.
He said I was a capricious witch, and that he would rather
sing another time ; but I averred that no time was like the
present.
1 Did I like his voice ? ' he asked.
'Very much.1 I was not fond of pampering that sus-
ceptible vanity of his ; but for once, and from motives of
expediency, I would e'en soothe and stimulate it.
* Then, Jane, you must play the accompaniment/
' Very well, sir ; I will try.'
I did i-ry, but was presently swept off the stool and de-
nominated * a little bungler/ Being pushed unceremoniously
to one side — which was precisely what I wished — he usurped
my place, and proceeded to accompany himself : for he
could play as well as sing. I hied me to the window-recess ;
and while I sat there and looked out on the still trees and
dim lawn, to a sweet air was sung in mellow tones the
following strain : —
The truest love that ever heart
Felt at its kindled core
Did through each vein, in quickened start,
The tide of being pour.
Her coming was my hope each day,
Her parting was my pain ;
The chance that did her steps delay
Was ice in every vein.
I dreamed it would be nameless bliss,
As I loved, loved to be ;
And to this object did I press
As blind as eagerly.
But wide as pathless was the space
That lay, our lives, between,
And dangerous as the foamy race
Of ocean-surges green.
330 JANE BYEB
And haunted as a robber-path
Through wilderness or wood ;
For Might and Bight, and Woe and Wrath,
Between our spirits stood*
I dangers dared ; I hindrance scorned ;
I omens did defy :
Whatever menaced, harassed, warned,
I passed impetuous by.
On aped my rainbow, fast as light ;
I Hew as in a dream ;
For glorious rose upon my sight
That child of Shower and Gleam.
Still bright on clouds of suffering dim
Shines that soft, solemn joy ;
Nor care I now, how dense and grim
Disasters gather nigh.
I care not in this moment sweet,
Though all I have rushed o'er
Should come on pinion, strong and fleet,
Proclaiming vengeance sore :
Though haughty Hate should strike me down,
Bight, bar approach to me,
And grinding Might, with furious frown,
Swear endless enmity.
My love has placed her little hand
With noble faith in mine,
And vowed that wedlock's sacred band
Our nature shall entwine.
My love has sworn, with sealing kiss,
With me to live — to die ;
I have at last my nameless bliss :
As I love — loved am I !
He rose and came towards me, and I saw his face all
kindled, and his full falcon-eye flashing, and tenderness and
passion in every lineament. I quailed momentarily — then I
rallied. Soft scene, daring demonstration, I would not
JANE EYRE 331
have ; and I stood in peril of both : a weapon of defence
must be prepared — I whetted my tongue : as he reached
me, I asked with asperity, ' whom he was going to marry
now?'
1 That was a strange question to be put by his darling
Jane.'
' Indeed ! I considered it a very natural and necessary
one: he had talked of his future wife dying with him.
What did he mean by such a pagan idea ? I had no inten-
tion of dying with him — he might depend on that.'
* Oh, all he longed, all he prayed for, was that I might
live with him ! Death was not for such as I.'
1 Indeed it was : I had as good a right to die when my
time came as he had : but I should bide that time, and not
be hurried away in a suttee.'
' Would I forgive him for the selfish idea, and prove my
pardon by a reconciling kiss ? '
' No : I would rather be excused.'
Here I heard myself apostrophised as a 'hard little
thing ; ' and it was added, ' any other woman would have
been melted to marrow at hearing such stanzas crooned in
her praise.'
I assured him I was naturally hard — very flinty, and
that he would often find me so ; and that, moreover, I was
determined to show him divers rugged points in my character
before the ensuing four weeks elapsed : he should know fully
what sort of a bargain he had made, while there was yet
time to rescind it.
' Would I be quiet, and talk rationally ? '
' I would be quiet if he liked ; and as to talking rationally,
I flattered myself I was doing that now.'
He fretted, pished and pshawed. ' Very good,' I thought ;
' you may fume and fidget as you please : but this is the best
plan to pursue with you, I am certain. I like you more than
I can say ; but I'll not sink into a bathos of sentiment : and
with this needle of repartee I'll keep you from the edge of
the gulph too ; and, moreover, maintain by its pungent aid
332 JANE EYEE
that distance bftween you and myself most conducive to
our real mutual advantage/
From less to more, I worked him up to considerable irri-
tation ; then, after he had retired, in dudgeon, quite to the
other end of the room, I got up, and saying, ' I wish you
good-night, sir/ in my natural and wonted respectful
manner, I slipped out by the side-door and got away.
The system thus entered on I pursued during the whole
season of probation ; and with the best success. He was
kept, to be sure, rather cross and crusty : but on the whole I
could see he was excellently entertained ; and that a lamb-
like submission and turtle-dove sensibility, while fostering
his despotism more, would have pleased his judgment,
satisfied his common-sense, and even suited his taste,
less.
In other people's presence I was, as formerly, deferential
and quiet ; any other line of conduct being uncalled for : it
was only in the evening conferences I thus thwarted and
afflicted him. He continued to send for me punctually the
moment the clock struck seven; though when I appeared
before him now, he had no such honeyed terms as ' love ' and
1 darling ' on his lips : the best words at my service were
1 provoking puppet,' ' malicious elf,' ' sprite,' ' changeling,' &c.
For caresses, too, I now got grimaces ; for a pressure of the
hand, a pinch on the arm ; for a kiss on the cheek, a severe
tweak of the ear. It was all right : at present I decidedly
preferred these fierce favours to anything more tender. Mrs.
Fairfax, I saw, approved me : her anxiety on my account
vanished; therefore I was certain I did well. Meantime,
Mr. Rochester affirmed I was wearing him to skin and bone,
and threatened awful vengeance for my present conduct at
some period fast coming. I laughed in my sleeve at his
menaces : ' I can keep you in reasonable check now/ I
reflected ; ' and I don't doubt to be able to do it hereafter :
if one expedient loses its virtue, another must be devised/
Yet after all my task was not an easy one ; often I would
rather have pleased than teased him. My future husband
JANE EYEB 833
was becoming to me my whole world ; and more than the
world : almost my hope of heaven. He stood between me
and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes
between man and the broad sun. I could not, in those
days, see God for his creature : of whom I had made an
idol.
334 \TANE EYBE
CHAPTEE XXV
THE month of courtship had wasted : its very last hours
were being numbered. There was no putting off the day
that advanced — the bridal day ; and all preparations for its
arrival were complete. J, at least, had nothing more to do :
there were my trunks, packed, locked, corded, ranged in a
row along the wall of my little chamber : to-morrow, at this
time, they would be far on their road to London : and so
should I (D.V.), — or rather, not I, but one Jane Eochester, a
person whom as yet I knew not. The cards of address alone
remained to nail on : they lay, four little squares, on the
drawer. Mr. Eochester had himself written the direction,
1 Mrs. Eochester, Hotel, London/ on each : I could
not persuade myself to affix them, or to have them affixed.
Mrs. Eochester ! She did not exist : she would not be born
till to-morrow, some time after eight o'clock A.M.; and I
would wait to be assured she had come into the world alive
before I assigned to her all that property. It was enough
that in yonder closet, opposite my dressing-table, garments
said to be hers had already displaced my black stuff Lowood
frock and straw bonnet : for not to me appertained that suit
of wedding raiment, the pearl-coloured robe, the vapoury
veil, pendent from the usurped portmanteau. I shut the
closet, to conceal the strange, wraith-like apparel it con-
tained; which, at this evening hour — nine o'clock — gave
out certainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow
of my apartment. 'I will leave you by yourself, white
dream,1 1 said. ' I am feverish : I hear the wind blowing :
I will go out of doors and feel it.'
It was not only the hurry of preparation that made me
JANE EYEE 335
feverish ; not only the anticipation of the great change — the
new life which was to commence to-morrow: both these
circumstances had their share, doubtless, in producing that
restless, excited mood which hurried me forth at this late
hour into the darkening grounds ; but a third cause in-
fluenced my mind more than they.
I had at heart a strange and anxious thought. Some-
thing had happened which I could not comprehend ; no one
knew of or had seen the event but myself: it had taken
place the preceding night. Mr. Eochester that night was
absent from home ; nor was he yet returned : business had
called him to a small estate of two or three farms he pos-
sessed thirty miles off — business it was requisite he should
settle in person, previously to his meditated departure from
England. I waited now his return ; eager to disburthen
my mind, and to seek of him the solution of the enigma that
perplexed me. Stay till he comes, reader; and, when I
disclose my secret to him, you shall share the confidence.
I sought the orchard : driven to its shelter by the wind,
which all day had blown strong and full from the south ; with-
out, however, bringing a speck of rain. Instead of subsiding
as night drew on, it seemed to augment its rush and deepen
its roar : the trees blew steadfastly one way, never writhing
round, and scarcely tossing back their boughs once in an
hour ; so continuous was the strain bending their branchy
heads northward — the clouds drifted from pole to pole, fast
following, mass on mass : no glimpse of blue sky had been
visible that July day.
It was not without a certain wild pleasure I ran before
the wind delivering my trouble of mind to the measureless
air-torrent thundering through space. Descending the
laurel- walk, I faced the wreck of the chestnut-tree ; it stood
up, black and riven : the trunk, split down the centre,
gasped ghastly. The cloven halves were not broken from
each other, for the firm base and strong roots kept them
unsundered below ; though community of vitality was des-
troyed— the sap could flow no more : their great boughs on
336 JANE EYEE
each side were dead, and next winter's tempests would be
sure to fell one or both to earth : as yet, however, they
might be said to form one tree— a ruin, but an entire ruin.
1 You did right to hold fast to each other/ I said : as if
the monster splinters were living things, and could hear me.
1 1 think, scathed as you look, and charred and scorched,
there must be a little sense of life in you yet ; rising out of
that adhesion at the faithful, honest roots : you will never
have green leaves more — never more see birds making nests
and singing idyls in your boughs ; the time of pleasure and
love is over with you; but you are not desolate: each of
you has a comrade to sympathise with him in his decay/
As I looked up at them, the moon appeared momentarily in
that part of the sky which filled their fissure ; her disk was
blood-red and half overcast ; she seemed to throw on me one
bewildered, dreary glance, and buried herself again instantly
in the deep drift of cloud. The wind fell, for a second,
round Thornfield ; but far away over wood and water, poured
a wild, melancholy wail : it was sad to listen to, and I ran
off again.
Here and there I strayed through the orchard, gathered
up the apples with which the grass round the tree roots was
thickly strewn : then I employed myself in dividing the ripe
from the unripe ; I carried them into the house and put
them away in the store-room. Then I repaired to the
library to ascertain whether the fire was lit ; for, though
summer, I knew on such a gloomy evening Mr. [Rochester
would like to see a cheerful hearth when he came in : yes,
the fire had been kindled some time, and burnt well. I
placed his arm-chair by the chimney-corner : I wheeled
the table near it : I let down the curtain, and had the candles
brought in ready for lighting. More restless than ever,
when I had completed these arrangements I could not sit
still, nor even remain in the house : a little timepiece in the
room and the old clock in the hall simultaneously struck
ten.
1 How late it grows ! ' I said : ' I will run down to the
JANE EYEB 337
ga-t.es : it is moonlight at intervals ; I can see a good way on
the road. He may be coming now, and to meet him will
save some minutes of suspense.
The wind roared high in the great trees which embowered
the gates ; but the road as far as I could see, to the right
hand and the left, was all still and solitary : save for the
shadows of clouds crossing it at intervals, as the moon
looked out, it was but a long pale line, unvaried by one
moving speck.
A puerile tear dimmed my eye while I looked— a tear
of disappointment and impatience : ashamed of it, I wiped
it away. I lingered ; the moon shut herself wholly within
her chamber, and drew close her curtain of dense cloud ;
the night grew dark; rain came driving fast on the
gale.
1 1 wish he would come ! I wish he would come ! ' I
exclaimed, seized with hypochondriac foreboding. I had
expected his arrival before tea ; now it was dark : what
could keep him ? Had an accident happened ? The event
of last night again recurred to me. I interpreted it as a
warning of disaster. I feared my hopes were too bright to
be realised ; and I had enjoyed so much bliss lately that I
imagined my fortune had passed its meridian, and must now
decline.
1 Well, I cannot return to the bouse,' I thought; ' I can-
not sit by the fireside while he is abroad in inclement
weather : better tire my limbs than strain my heart ; I will
go forward and meet him.1
I set out ; I walked fast, but not far : ere I had measured
a quarter of a mile I heard the tramp of hoofs ; a horseman
came on, full gallop; a dog ran by his side. Away with
evil presentiment 1 It was he : here he was, mounted on
Mesrour, followed by Pilot. He saw me ; for the moon had
opened a blue field in the sky, and rode in it watery bright :
he took his hat off, and waved it round his head. I now
ran to meet him.
1 There 1 ' he exclaimed, as he stretched out his hand and
338 JANE EYEE
bent from the saddle : ' You can't do without me, that is
evident. Step on my boot-toe; give me both hands:
mount ! '
I obeyed ; joy made me agile : I sprang up before him.
A hearty kissing I got for a welcome; and some boasttul
triumph ; which I swallowed as well as I could. He checked
himself in his exultation to demand, ' But is there anything
the matter, Janet, that you come to meet me at such an
hour ? Is there anything wrong ? '
' No ; but I thought you would never come. I could
not bear to wait in the house for you, especially with this
rain and wind/
' Bain and wind, indeed ! Yes, you are dripping like a
mermaid; pull my cloak round you: but I think you are
feverish, Jane : both your cheek and hand are burning hot.
I ask again, is there anything the matter ? '
' Nothing, now : I am neither afraid nor unhappy.'
' Then you have been both ? '
'Bather: but I'll tell you all about it by-and-by, sir;
and I daresay you will only laugh at me for my pains.'
1 I'll laugh at you heartily when to-morrow is past ; till
then I dare not : my prize is not certain. This is you ; who
have been as slippery as an eel this last month, and as
thorny as a briar-rose. I could not lay a finger anywhere
but I was pricked ; and now I seem to have gathered up a
stray lamb in my arms : you wandered out of the fold to
seek your shepherd, did you, Jane ? '
' I wanted you : but don't boast. Here we are at Thorn-
field : 'now let me get down.'
He landed me on the pavement. As John took his
horse, and he followed me into the hall, he told me to make
haste and put something dry on, and then return to him in
the library ; and he stopped me, as I made for the staircase,
to extort a promise that I would not be long : nor was I
long: in five minutes I rejoined him. I found him at
supper.
' Take a seat and bear me company, Jane : please God,
JANE EYEE 339
it is the last meal but one you will eat at Thornfield Hall
for a long time/
I sat down near him ; but told him I could not eat.
' Is it because you have the prospect of a journey before
you, Jane? Is it the thoughts of going to London that takes
away your appetite ? '
I I cannot see my prospects clearly to-night, sir ; and I
hardly know what thoughts I have in my head. Everything
in life seems unreal/
' Except me : I am substantial enough : — touch me/
* You, sir, are the most phantom-like of all : you are a
mere dream/
He held out his hand, laughing : ' Is that a dream ? ' said
he, placing it close to my eyes. He had a rounded, mus-
cular, and vigorous hand, as well as a long, strong arm.
1 Yes ; though I touch it, it is a dream,' said I, as I put
it down from before my face. ' Sir, have you finished
supper ? '
' Yes, Jane/
I rang the bell, and ordered away the tray. When we
were again alone, I stirred the fire, and then took a low seat
at my master's knee.
* It is near midnight/ I said.
' Yes : but remember, Jane, you promised to wake with
me the night before my wedding/
'I did ; and I will keep my promise, for an hour or two
at least : I have no wish to go to bed/
1 Are all your arrangements complete ? '
' All, sir/
* And on my part, likewise,' he returned, ' I have settled
everything ; and we shall leave Thornfield to-morrow, withm
half an hour after our return from church/
1 Very well, sir/
' With what an extraordinary smile you uttered that word
— "very well," Janel What a bright spot of colour you
have on each cheek ! and how strangely your eyes glitter L
Are you well ? '
340 JAJNJS EYEB
1 1 believe T am.'
'Believe! What is the matter? — Tell me what you
feel/
1 1 could not, sir : no words could tell you what I feel-
I wish this present hour would never end : who knows with
what fate the next may come charged ? '
'This is hypochondria, Jane. You have been over-
excited, or over-fatigued.'
1 Do you, sir, feel calm and happy ? '
' Calm ? — no : but happy — to the heart's core.'
I looked up at him to read the signs of bliss in his face :
it was ardent and flushed.
' Give me your confidence, Jane/ he said : ' relieve your
mind of any weight that oppresses it by imparting it to me.
What do you fear ? — that I shall not prove a good husband ? '
1 It is the idea farthest from my thoughts/
1 Are you apprehensive of the new sphere you are about
to enter? — of the new life into which you are passing ? '
'No/
' You puzzle me, Jane : your look and tone of sorrowful
audacity perplex and pain me. I want an explanation/
' Then, sir— listen. You were from home last night ? '
' I was : I know that ; and you hinted a while ago at
something which had happened in my absence : —nothing,
probably, of consequence ; but, in short, it has disturbed
you. Let me hear it. Mrs. Fairfax has said something,
perhaps? or you have overheard the servants talk? — your
sensitive self-respect has been wounded ? '
' No, sir/ It struck twelve — I waited till the timepiece
had concluded its silver chime, and the clock its hoarse,
vibrating stroke, and then I proceeded.
' All day yesterday I was very busy, and very happy in
my ceaseless bustle ; for I am not, as you seem to think,
troubled by any haunting fears about the new sphere, et
cetera : I think it a glorious thing to have the hope of living
with you, because T love you. No, sir, don't caress me now
— let me talk undisturbed. Yesterday I trusted well in
JANE EYEE 341
Providence, and believed that events were working together
for your good and mine : it was a fine day, if you recollect
— the calmness of the air and sky forbade apprehensions
respecting your safety or comfort on your journey. 1 walked
a little while on the pavement after tea, thinking of you;
and I beheld you in imagination so near me I scarcely
missed your actual presence. I thought of the life that lay
before me — your life, sir, — an existence more expansive and
stirring than my own : as much more so as the depths of
the sea to which the brook runs are than the shallows of
its own strait channel. I wondered why moralists call this
world a dreary wilderness : for me it blossomed like a rose.
Just at sunset the air turned cold and the sky cloudy : I
went in. Sophie called me upstairs to look at my wedding-
dress, which they had just brought ; and under it in the box
I found your present — the veil which, in your princely
extravagance, you sent for from London : resolved, I suppose,
since I would not have jewels, to cheat me into accepting
something as costly. I smiled as I unfolded it, and devised
how I would tease you about your aristocratic tastes, and
your efforts to masque your plebeian bride in the attributes
of a peeress. I thought how I would carry down to you the
square of unembroidered blond I had myself prepared as a
covering for my low-born head, and ask if that was not good
enough for a woman who could bring her husband neither
fortune, beauty, nor connections. I saw plainly how you
would look ; and heard your impetuous republican answers,
and your haughty disavowal of any necessity on your part
to augment your wealth, or elevate your standing, by
marrying either a purse or a coronet.1
1 How well you read me, you witch ! ' interposed Mr.
Eochester ; ' but what did you find in the veil besides its
embroidery? Did you find poison, or a dagger, that you
look so mournful now ? '
'No, no, sir; besides the delicacy and richness of the
fabric, I found nothing save Fairfax ^Rochester's pride ; and
that did not scare me, because I am used to the sight of the
342 JANE EYEB
demon. But, sir, as it grew dark the wind rose : it blew
yesterday evening, not as it blows now — wild and high —
but "with a sullen, moaning sound" far more eerie. I
wished you were at home. I came into this room, and the
sight of the empty chair and fireless hearth chilled me. For
some time after I went to bed I could not sleep — a sense of
anxious excitement distressed me. The gale still rising
seemed to my ear to muffle a mournful under-sound;
whether in the house or abroad I could not at first tell, but
it recurred, doubtful yet doleful at every lull : at last I made
out it must be some dog howling at a distance. I was glad
when it ceased. On sleeping, I continued in dreams the
idea of a dark and gusty night. I continued also the wish
to be with you, and experienced a strange, regretful con-
sciousness of some barrier dividing us. During all my first
sleep I was following the windings of an unknown road ;
total obscurity environed me ; rain pelted me ; I was burdened
with the charge of a little child : a very small creature,
too young and feeble to walk, and which shivered in my
cold arms and wailed piteously in my ear. I thought, sir,
that you were on the road a long way before me; and I
strained every nerve to overtake you, and made effort on
effort to utter your name and entreat you to stop — but my
movements were fettered ; and my voice still died away
inarticulate ; while you, I felt, withdrew farther and farther
every moment/
' And these dreams weigh on your spirits now, Jane, when
I am close to you ? Little nervous subject 1 Forget vision-
ary woe, and think only of real happiness ! You say you
love me, Janet : yes — I will not forget that ; and you cannot
deny it. Those words did not die inarticulate on your lips.
I heard them clear and soft : a thought too solemn perhaps,
but sweet as music — " I think it is a glorious thing to have the
hope of living with you, Edward, because I love you." — Do
you love me, Jane ? Bepeat it.'
1 1 do, sir. — I do with 'my whole heart/
'Well/ he said, after some minutes' silence, ' it is strange ;
JANE BYEB 343
but that sentence has penetrated my breast painfully. Why ?
I think because you said it with such an earnest, religious
energy : and because your upward gaze at me now is the
very sublime of faith, truth, and devotion : it is too much as
if some spirit were near me. Look wicked, Jane ; as you
know well how to look ; coin one of your wild, shy, provoking
smiles ; tell me you hate me— tease me, vex me ; do anything
but move me : I would rather be incensed fchan saddened.'
' I will tease you and vex you to your heart's content
when I have finished my tale : but hear me to the end.'
1 1 thought, Jane, you had told me all. I thought I had
found the source of your melancholy in a dream ! '
I shook my head. ' What ! is there more ? But I will
not believe it to be anything important. I warn you of
incredulity betorehand. Go on.'
The disquietude of his air, the somewhat apprehensive
impatience of his manner, surprised me : bub I proceeded.
' I dreamt another dream, sir : that Thornfield Hall was a
dreary ruin, the retreat of bats and owls. I thought that of all
the stately front nothing remained but a shell-like wall, very
high, and very fragile-looking. I wandered, on a moonlight
night, through the grass-grown enclosure within: here I
stumbled over a marble hearth, and there over a fallen
fragment of cornice. Wrapped up in a shawl, I still carried
the unknown little child : I might not lay it down anywhere,
however tired were my arms — however much its weight
impeded my progress, I must retain it. I heard the gallop
of a horse at a distance on the road : I was sure it was you ;
and you were departing for many years, and for a distant
country. I climbed the thin wall with frantic, perilous haste,
eager to catch one glimpse of you from the top : the stones
rolled from under my feet, the ivy branches I grasped gave
way, the child clung round my neck in terror, and almost
strangled me : at last I gained the summit. I saw you like
a speck on a white track, lessening every moment. The blast
blew so strong I could not stand. I sat down on the narrow
ledge ; I hushed the scared infant in my lap : you turned an
344 JANE EYBE
angle of the road ; I bent forward to take a last look ; the
wall crumbled ; I was shaken ; the child rolled from my
knee, I lost my balance, fell, and woke.'
1 Now, Jane, that is all/
' All the preface, sir ; the tale is yet to come. On waking,
a gleam dazzled my eyes : I thought — oh, it is daylight !
But I was mistaken: it was only candlelight. Sophie, I
supposed, had come in. There was a light on the dressing-
table, and the door of the closet, where, before going to bed,
I had hung my wedding-dress and veil, stood open : I heard
a rustling there. I asked, " Sophie, what are you doing ? "
No one answered; but a form emerged from the closet : it
took the light, held it aloft, and surveyed the garments
pendent from the portmanteau. " Sophie ! Sophie 1 " I
again cried : and still it was silent. I had risen up in bed ;
I bent forward: first, surprise, then bewilderment, came
over me ; and then my blood crept cold through my veins.
Mr. Eochester, this was not Sophie, it was not Leah, it was
not Mrs. Fairfax : it was not — no, I was sure of it, and am
still — it was not even that strange woman, Grace Poole.'
1 It must have been one of them/ interrupted my master.
' No, sir, I solemnly assure you to the contrary. The
shape standing before me had never crossed my eyes within
the precincts of Thornfield Hall before ; the height, the con-
tour, were new to me/
' Describe it, Jane/
' It seemed, sir, a woman, tall and large, with thick and
dark hair hanging long down her back. I know not what
dress she had on : it was white and straight ; but whether
gown, sheet, or shroud, I cannot tell/
1 Did you see her face ? '
' Not at first. But presently she took my veil from its
place ; she held it up, gazed at it long, and then she threw it
over her own head, and turned to the mirror. At that moment
I saw the reflection of the visage and features quite dis-
tinctly in the dark oblong glass.'
' And how were they ? '
JANE EYEE 345
' Fearful and ghastly to me— oh, sir, I never saw a face
like it I It was a discoloured face— it was a savage face.
I wish I could forget the roll of the red eyes and the fearful
blackened inflation of the lineaments/
' Ghosts are usually pale, Jane/
' This, sir, was purple : the lips were swelled and dark ;
the brow furrowed ; the black eyebrows widely raised over
the bloodshot eyes. Shall I tell you of what it reminded me ? '
1 You may/
' Of the foul German spectre — the Vampyre/
'Ah?— What did it do?'
' Sir, it removed my veil from its gaunt head, rent it in
two parls, and flinging both on the floor, trampled on them/
4 Afterwards?'
'It drew aside the window-curtain and looked out:
perhaps it saw dawn approaching, for, taking the candle, it
retreated to the door. Just at my bedside the figure
stopped : the fiery eye glared upon me— she thrust up her
candle close to my face, and extinguished it under my eyes.
I was aware her lurid visage flamed over mine, and I lost
consciousness : for the second time in my life — only the
second time — I became insensible from terror/
' Who was with you when you revived? '
' No one, sir ; but the broad day. I rose, bathed my head
and face in water, drank a long draught ; felt that though
enfeebled I was not ill, and determined that to none but you
would I impart this vision. Now, sir, tell me who and
what that woman was ? '
'The creature of an over-stimulated brain; that is
certain. I must be careful of you, my treasure : nerves
like yours were not made for rough handling/
' Sir, depend on it, my nerves were not in fault ; the
thing was real : the transaction actually took place/
'And your previous dreams: were they real too? Is
Thornfield Hall a ruin ? Am I severed from you by insuper-
able obstacles ? Am I leaving you without a tear — without
a kiss — without a word ? '
34:6 JANE EYEE
' Not yet/
' Am I about to do it ? — Why, the day is already com-
menced which is to bind us indissolubly ; and when we are
once united, there shall be no recurrence of these mental
terrors : I guarantee that/
1 Mental terrors, sir ! I wish I could believe them to be
only such : I wish it more now than ever ; since even you
cannot explain to me the mystery of that awful visitant/
'And since I cannot do it, Jane, it must have been
unreal '
'But, sir, when I said so to myself on rising this
morning, and when I looked round the room to gather
courage and comfort from the cheerful aspect of each
familiar object in full daylight, there — on the carpet — I saw
what gave the distinct lie to my hypothesis, — the veil, torn
from top to bottom, in two halves ! '
I felt Mr. Eochester start and shudder ; he hastily flung
his arms round me.
' Thank God ! ' he exclaimed, * that if anything malignant
did come near you last night, it was only the veil that was
harmed. — Oh, to think what might have happened ! '
He drew his breath short, and strained me so close to
him I could scarcely pant. After some minutes' silence, he
continued, cheerily:— 'Now, Janet, I'll explain to you all
about it. It was half dream, half reality : a woman did, I
doubt not, enter your room : and that woman was — must have
been — Grace Poole. You call her a strange being yourself :
from all you know you have reason so to call her — what
did she do to me ? what to Mason ? In a state between
sleeping and waking you noticed her entrance and her
actions ; but feverish, almost delirious as you were, you
ascribed to her a goblin appearance different from her own :
the long dishevelled hair, the swelled black face, the ex-
aggerated stature, were figments of imagination ; results of
nightmare : the spiteful tearing of the veil was real : and it
is like her. I see you would ask why I keep such a woman
in my house : when we have been married a year and a day
JANE EYKE 347
I will tell you ; but not now. Are you satisfied, Jane ? Do
you accept my solution of the mystery ? '
I reflected, and in truth it appeared to me the only possible
one : satisfied I was not, but to please him I endeavoured to
appear so— relieved, I certainly did feel ; so I answered him
with a contented smile. And now, as it was long past one,
I prepared to leave him.
1 Does not Sophie sleep with Ad&Le in the nursery ? ' he
asked, as I lit my candle.
'Yes, sir/
I And there is room enough in Adfcle's little bed for you.
You must share it with her to-night, Jane • it is no wonder
that the incident you have related should make you nervous,
and I would rather yon did not sleep alone : promise me to
go to the nursery.'
I 1 shall be very gLid to do so, sir.'
'And fasten the door securely on the inside. Wake
Sophie when you go upstairs, under pretence of requesting
her to rouse you in good time to-morrow ; for you must be
dressed and have finished breakfast before eight. And now,
no more sombre thoughts : chase dull care away, Janet.
Don't you hear to what soft whispers the wind has fallen ?
and there is no more beating of rain against the window-
panes : look here ' (he lifted up the curtain) — ' it is a lovely
night ! '
It was. Half heaven was pure and stainless: the
clouds, now trooping before the wind, which had shifted to
the west, were filing off eastward in long, silvered columns.
The moon shone peacefully.
' Well,' said Mr. Eochester, gazing inquiringly into my
eyes, ' how is my Janet now ? '
' The night is serene, sir ; and so am I.'
'And you will not dream of separation and sorrow to-
night ; but of happy love and blissful union/
This prediction was but half fulfilled : I did not indeed
dream of sorrow, but as little did I dream of joy ; for 1
never slept at all. With little Ad61e in my arms, I watched
348 JANE EYEB
the slumber of childhood— so tranquil, so passionless, so
innocent — and waited for the coming day : all my life was
awake and astir in my frame ; and as soon as the sun rose
I rose too. I remember Ad&le clung to me as I left her ; I
remember I kissed her as I loosened her little hands from my
neck ; and I cried over her with strange emotion, and quitted
her because I feared my sobs would break her still sound
repose. She seemed the emblem of my past life ; and he, I
was now to array myself to meet, the dread, but adored, type
of my unknown future day.
JANE EYRE 349
CHAPTER XXVI
SOPHIE came at seven to dress me; she was very long
indeed in accomplishing her task — so long that Mr.
Rochester, grown, I suppose, impatient of my delay, sent
up to ask why I did not come. She was just fastening my
veil (thn plain square of blond after all) to my hair with a
brooch , I hurried from under her hands as soon as I could.
' Stop ! ' she cried in French. ' Look at yourself in the
mirror : you have not taken one peep/
So I turned at the door : I saw a robed and veiled figure,
so unlike my usual self that it seemed almost the image of a
stranger. ' Jane ! ' called a voice, and I hastened down. I
was received at the foot of the stairs by Mr. Rochester.
* Lingerer/ he said, ' my brain is on fire with impatience ;
and you tarry so long ! '
He took me into the dining-room, surveyed me keenly
all over, pronounced me ' fair as a lily, and not only the
pride of his life, but the desire of his eyes/ and then, telling
me he would give me but ten minutes to eat some breakfast,
he rang the bell. One of his lately hired servants, a foot-
man, answered it.
1 Is John getting the carriage ready ? '
' Yes, sir/
' Is the luggage brought down ? '
' They are bringing it down, sir/
' Go you to the church : see if Mr. Wood (the clergyman)
and the clerk are there : return and tell me/
The church, as the reader knows, was but just beyond
the gates ; the footman soon returned.
' Mr. Wood is in the vestry, sir, putting on his surplice/
350 JANE EYRE
' And the carriage ? '
* The horses are harnessing/
' We shall not want it to go to church ; but it must be
ready the moment we return, all the boxes and luggage
arranged and strapped on, and the coachman in his seat/
' Yes, sir/
1 Jane, are you ready ? '
I rose. There were no groomsmen, no bridesmaids, no
relatives to wait for or marshal : none but Mr. Rochester
and I. Mrs. Fairfax stood in the hall as we passed. I
would fain have spoken to her, but my hand was held by a
gi'asp of iron : I was hurried along by a stride I could hardly
follow ; and to look at Mr. Rochester's face was to feel that
not a second of delay would be tolerated for any purpose.
I wonder what other bridegroom ever looked as he did — so
bent up to a purpose, so grimly resolute : or who, under
such steadfast brows, ever revealed such flaming and flash-
ing eyes.
I know not whether the day was fair or foul ; in descend-
ing the drive, I gazed neither on sky nor eartli ; my heart
was \vith my eyes; and both seemed migrated into Mr.
Rochester's frame. I wanted to see the invisible thing on
which, as we went along, he appeared to fasten a glance
fierce and fell. I wanted to feel the thoughts whose force
he seemed breasting and resisting.
At the churchyard wicket he stopped: he discovered I
was quite out of breath.
1 Am I cruel in my love ? ' he said. ' Delay an instant :
lean on me, Jane/
And now I can recall the picture of the giey old house of
God rising calm before me, of a rook wheeling round the
steeple, of a ruddy morning sky beyond. I remember
something, too, of the green grave-mounds ; and I have not
forgotten, either, two figures of strangers, straying amongst
the low hillocks, and reading the mementoes graven on the
few mossy head-stones. I noticed them, because, as they
saw us, they passed round to the back of the church ; and I
JANE EYEE 351
doubted not they were going to enter by the side-aisle
door, and witness the ceremony. By Mr. Rochester they
were not observed; he was earnestly looking at my face,
from which the blood had, I daresay, momentarily fled : for I
felt my forehead dewy, and my cheeks and lips cold. When
I rallied, which I soon did, he walked gently with me up the
path to the porch.
We entered the quiet and humble temple ; the priest
waited in his white surplice at the lowly altar, the clerk
beside him. All was still: two shadows only moved in a
remote corner. My conjecture had been correct : the
strangers had slipped in before us, and they now stood by
the vault of the Rochesters, their backs towards us, viewing
through the rails the old time-stained marble tomb, where a
kneeling angel guarded the remains of Darner de Rochester,
slain at Marston Moor in the time of the civil wars ; and of
Elizabeth, his wife.
Our place was taken at the communion rails. Hearing
a cautious step behind me, I glanced over my shoulder : one
of the strangers —a gentleman, evidently — was advancing
up the chancel. The service began. The explanation of
the intent of matrimony was gone through ; and then the
clergyman came a step further forward, and, bending slightly
towards Mr. Rochester, went on.
' I require and charge you both (as ye will answer at the
dreadful day of judgment, when the secrets of all hearts
shall be disclosed), that if either of you know any impedi-
ment why ye may not lawfully be joined together in
matrimony, ye do now confess it ; for be ye well assured that
so many as are coupled together otherwise than God's word
doth allow, are not joined together by God, neither is their
matrimony lawful.'
He paused, as the custom is. When is the pause after
that sentence ever broken by reply ? Not, perhaps, once in
a hundred years. And the clergyman, who had not lifted
his eyes from his book, and had held his breath but for a
moment, was proceeding: his hand was already stretched
N2
352 JANE EYKE
towards Mr. Bochester, as his lips unclosed to ask, * Wilt
thou have this woman for thy wedded wife ? ' — when a dis-
tinct and near voice said : — ' The marriage cannot go on : I
declare the existence of an impediment/
The clergyman looked up at the speaker, and stood mute ;
the clerk did the same ; Mr. Eochester moved slightly, as if
an earthquake had rolled under his feet: taking a firmer
footing, and not turning his head or eyes, he said, ' Proceed.'
Profound silence fell when he had uttered that word,
with deep but low intonation. Presently Mr. Wood said : —
' I cannot proceed without some investigation into what has
been asserted, and evidence of its truth or falsehood/
' The ceremony is quite broken off,' subjoined the voice
behind us. 'I am in a condition to prove my allegation :
an insuperable impediment to this marriage exists/
Mr. Eochester heard, but heeded not : he stood stubborn
and rigid : making no movement, but to possess himself of
my hand. What a hot and strong grasp he had ! — and how
like quarried marble was his pale, firm, massive front at this
moment ! How his eye shone, still, watchful, and yet wild
beneath !
Mr. Wood seemed at a loss. ' What is the nature of the
impediment ? ' he asked. ' Perhaps it may be got over —
explained away ? '
1 Hardly/ was the answer : ' I have called it insuperable,
and I speak advisedly/
The speaker came forwards, and leaned on the rails.
He continued, uttering each word distinctly, calmly, steadily,
but not loudly.
'It simply consists in the existence of a previous
marriage. Mr. Eochester has a wife now living/
My nerves vibrated to those low-spoken words as they
had never vibrated to thunder — my blood felt their subtle
violence as it had never felt frost or fire : but I was collected,
and in no danger of swooning. I looked at Mr. Eochester :
I made him look at me. His whole face was colourless
rock: his eye was both spark and flint. He disavowed
JANE EYEE 353
nothing : he seemed as if he would defy all things. With-
out speaking, without smiling, without seeming to recog-
nise in me a human being, he only twined my waist with
his arm, and riveted me to his side.
' Who are you ? ' he asked of the intruder.
' My name is Briggs — a solicitor of Street, London.'
1 And you would thrust on me a wife ? '
'I would remind you of your lady's existence, sir;
which the law recognises, if you do not.1
'Favour me with an account of her — with her name,
her parentage, her place ot abode.'
' Certainly.' Mr. Briggs calmly took a pap3r from his
pocket, and read out in a sort of official, nasal voice • —
1 " I affirm and can prove that on the 20th of October,
A..D. (a date of fifteen years back), Edward Fairfax
Kochester, of Thornfield Hall, in the county of , and of
Ferndean Manor, in shire, England, was married to my
sister, Bertha Antoinetta Mason, daughter of Jonas Mason,
merchant, and of Antoinetta his wife, a Creole — at
church, Spanish Town, Jamaica. The record of the
marriage will be found in the register of that church — a
copy of it is now in my possession. Signed, Eichard
Mason." '
' That — if a genuine document — may prove I have boon
married, but it does not prove that the woman mentioned
therein as my wife is still living.'
' She was living three months ago,' returned the lawyer.
1 How do you know ? '
'I have a witness to the fact, whose testimony even
you, sir, will scarcely controvert.'
I Produce him — or go to hell.'
I 1 will produce him first — he is on the spot : Mr. Mason,
have the goodness to step forward.'
Mr. Bochester, on hearing the name, set his teeth ; he
experienced, too, a sort of strong convulsive quiver ; near to
him as I was, I felt the spasmodic movement of fury or
despair run through his frame. The second stranger, who
354 JANE EYRE
had hitherto lingered in the background, now drew near ; a
pale face looked over the solicitor's shoulder — yes, it was
Mason himself. Mr. Rochester turned and glared at him.
His eye, as I have often said, was a black eye : it had now
a tawny, nay a bloody light in its gloom; and his face
flushed — olive cheek and hueless forehead received a glow,
as from spreading, ascending heart-fire : and he stirred, lifted
his strong arm — he could have struck Mason — dashed him
on the church-floor — shocked by ruthless blow the breath
from his body — but Mason shrank away, and cried faintly,
'Good God!' Contempt fell cool on Mr. Rochester — his
passion died as if a blight had shrivelled it up : he only
asked, ' What have you to say ? '
An inaudible reply escaped Mason's white lips.
1 The devil is in it if you cannot answer distinctly. I
again demand, what have you to say ? '
1 Sir — sir ' — interrupted the clergyman, c do not forget
you are in a sacred place.' Then, addressing Mason, he
inquired gently, 4 Are you aware, sir, whether or not this
gentleman's wife is still living ? '
1 Courage,' urged the lawyer, — ' speak out.1
4 She is now living at Thornfield Hall,' said Mason, in
more articulate tones : ' I saw her there last April. I am
her brother.'
4 At Thornfield Hall ! ' ejaculated the clergyman. 4 Im-
possible I I am an old resident in this neighbourhood, sir,
and I never heard of a Mrs. Rochester at Thornfield Hall.'
I saw a grim smile contort Mr. Rochester's lip, and he
muttered : — ' No — by God ! I took care that none should
hear of it — or of her under that name.' He mused — for ten
minutes he held counsel with himself : he formed his
resolve, and announced it : — f Enough — all shall bolt out at
once, like a bullet from the barrel. — Wood, close your book,
and take off your surplice ; John Green (to the clerk) leave
the church : there will be no wedding to-day : ' the man
obeyed.
Mr. Rochester continued, hardily and recklessly:
JANE EYEB 355
'Bigamy is an ugly word! — I meant, however, to be a
bigamist ; but fate has outmanoeuvred me ; or Providence
has cheeked me, — perhaps the last. I am little better than
a devil at this moment ; and, as my pastor there would tell
me, deserve no doubt the sternest judgments of God, — even
to the quenchless fire and deathless worm. Gentlemen, my
plan is broken up !— what this lawyer and his client say is
true: I have been married; and the woman to whom I
was married lives ! You say you never heard of a Mrs.
Eochester at the house up yonder, Wood : but I dare say
you have many a time inclined your ear to gossip about the
mysterious lunatic kept there under watch and ward. Some
have "\\hispered to vou that she is my bastard half-sister :
some, my cast-off mistress ; I now inform you that she is
my wife, whom I married fifteen years ago, — Bertha Mason
by name ; sister of this resolute personage, who is now, with
his quivering limbs and white cheeks, showing you what a
stout heart men may bear. Cheer up, Dick ! — never fear
me ! — I'd almost as soon strike a woman as you. Bertha
Mason is mad; and she came of a mad family; — idiots and
maniacs through three generations ! Her mother, the
Creole, was both a mad woman and a drunkard I— as I found
out after I had wed the daughter : for they were silent on
family secrets before. Bertha, like a dutiful child, copied
her parent in both points. I had a charming partner — pure,
wise, modest : you can fancy I was a happy man. — I went
through rich scenes ! Oh ! my experience has been heavenly,
if you only knew it ! But I owe you no further explanation.
Briggs, Wood, Mason, — I invite you all to come up to the
house and visit Mrs. Poole's patient, and my wife ! You
shall see what sort of a being 1 was cheated into espousing,
and judge whether or not I had a right to break the compact,
and seek sympathy with something at least human. This
girl/ he continued, looking at me, ' knew no more than you,
Wood, of the disgusting secret : she thought all was fair and
legal ; and never dreamt she was going to be entrapped into
a feigned union with a defrauded wretch, already bound to
356 JANE EYEE
a bad, mad, and embruted partner 1 Come, all of you,
follow.'
Still holding me fast, he left the church: the three
gentlemen came after. At the front door of the hall we
found the carriage.
'Take it back to the coach-house, John/ said Mr.
Rochester, coolly ; ' it will not be wanted to-day/
At our entrance Mrs. Fairfax, Ad61e, Sophie, Leah,
advanced to meet and greet us.
' To the right about — every soul ! ' cried the master :
1 away with your congratulations 1 Who wants them ?•— Not
I ! — they are fifteen years too late ! '
He passed on and ascended the stairs, still holding my
hand, and still beckoning the gentlemen to follow him ;
which they did. We mounted the first staircase, passed up
the gallery, proceeded to the third storey : the low, black
door, opened by Mr. Eochester's master key, admitted us to
the tapestried room, with its great bed and its pictorial
cabinet.
' You know this place, Mason/ said our guide ; ' she bit
and stabbed you here.'
He lifted the hangings from the wall, uncovering the
second door : this, too, he opened. In a room without a
window there burnt a fire, guarded by a high and strong
fender, and a lamp suspended from the ceiling by a chain.
Grace Poole bent over the fire, apparently cooking something
in a saucepan. In the deep shade, at the further end of the
room, a figure ran backwards and forwards. What it was,
whether beast or human being, one could not, at first sight,
tell : it grovelled, seemingly, on all fours ; it snatched and
growled like some strange wild animal : but it was covered
with clothing ; and a quantity of dark, grizzled hair, wild as
a mane, hid its head and face.
' Good-morrow, Mrs. Poole ! ' said Mr. Eochester. ' How
are you ? and how is your charge to-day ? '
1 We're tolerable, sir, I thank you/ replied Grace, lifting
JANE EYKE 357
the boiling mess carefully on to the hob : ' rather snappish,
but not 'rageous.'
A fierce cry seemed to give the lie to her favourable
report : the clothed hyena rose up, and stood tall on its
hind feet.
' Ah, sir, she sees you ! ' exclaimed Grace : ' you'd better
not stay.'
' Only a few moments, Grace : you must allow me a few
moments/
' Take care then, sir !— for God's sake, take care ! '
The maniac bellowed: she parted her shaggy locks
from her visage, and gazed wildly at her visitors. I recog-
nised well that purple face — those bloated features. Mrs.
Poole advanced.
1 Keep out of the way,' said Mr. Rochester, thrusting her
aside : ' she has no knife now, I suppose ? and I'm on my
guard.'
' One never knows what she has, sir : she is so cunning :
it is not in mortal discretion to fathom her craft.'
' We had better leave her,1 whispered Mason.
1 Go to the devil ! ' was his brother-in-law's recommenda-
tion.
' Ware ! ' cried Grace. The three gentlemen retreated
simultaneously. Mr. Rochester flung me behind him : the
lunatic sprang and grappled his throat viciously, and laid
her teeth to his cheek: they struggled. She was a big
woman, in stature almost equalling her husband, and corpu-
lent besides : she showed virile force in the contest — more
than once she almost throttled him, athletic as he was. He
could have settled her with a well-planted blow; but he
would not strike : he would only wrestle. At last he mas-
tered her arms; Grace Poole gave him a cord, and he
pinioned them behind her : with more rope, which was at
hand, he bound her to a chair. The operation was per-
formed amidst the fiercest yells and the most convulsive
plunges. Mr. Rochester then turned to the spectators : he
looked at them with a smile both acrid and desolate.
358 JANE EYEE
' That is my wife,' said he. ' Such is the sole conjugal
embrace I am ever to know — such are the endearments
which are to solace my leisure hours ! And this is what I
wished to have ' (laying his hand on my shoulder) : ' this
young girl, who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth of
hell, looking collectedly at the gambols of a demon. I
wanted her just as a change after that fierce ragout. Wood
and Briggs, look at the difference 1 Compare these clear eyes
with the red halls yonder — this face with that mask — this
form with that bulk ; then judge me, priest of the gospel and
man of the law, and remember, with what judgment ye
judge ye shall be judged ! Off with you now. I must shut
up my prize.'
We all withdrew. Mr. Eochester stayed a moment
behind us to give some further order to Grace Poole. The
solicitor addressed me as he descended the stair.
1 You, madam/ said he, ' are cleared from all blame :
your uncle will be glad to hear it — if, indeed, he should be
still living — when Mr. Mason returns to Madeira.'
' My uncle ! What of him ? Do you know him ? '
' Mr. Mason does : Mr. Eyre has been the Funchal corre-
spondent of his house for some years. When your uncle
received your letter intimating the contemplated union
between yourself and Mr. Eochester, Mr. Mason, who was
staying at Madeira to recruit his health, on his way back to
Jamaica, happened to be with him. Mr. Eyre mentioned
the intelligence; for he knew that my client here was
acquainted with a gentleman of the name of Eochester.
Mr. Mason, astonished and distressed as you may suppose,
revealed the real state of matters. Your uncle, I am sorry
to say, is now on a sick bed ; from which, considering the
nature of his disease — decline — and the stage it has reached,
it is unlikely he will ever rise. He could not then
hasten to England himself, to extricate you from the snare
into which you had fallen, but he implored Mr. Mason to
lose no time in taking steps to prevent the false marriage.
He referred him to me for assistance. I used all despatch,
JANE EYBE 359
and am thankful I was not too late : as you, doubtless, must
be also. Were I not morally certain that your uncle will
be dead ere you reach Madeira, I would advise you to
accompany Mr. Mason back : but as it is, I think you had
better remain in England till you can hear further, either from
or of Mr. Eyre. Have we anything else to stay for ? ' he
inquired of Mr. Mason.
1 No, no — let us be gone/ was the anxious reply ; and
without waiting to take leave of Mr. Eochester, they made
their exit at the hall door. The clergyman stayed to ex-
change a few sentences, either of admonition or reproof,
with his haughty parishioner : this duty done, he too
departed.
I heard him go as I stood at the half -open door of my
own room, to which I had now withdrawn. The house
cleared, I shut myself in, fastened the bolt that none might
intrude, and proceeded — not to weep, not to mourn, I was
yet too calm for that, but — mechanically to take off the
wedding-dress, and replace it by the stuff gown I had worn
yesterday, as I thought, for the last time. I then sat down :
I felt weak and tired. I leaned my arms on a table, and
my head dropped on them. And now I thought : till now
I had only heard, seen, moved — followed up and down
where I was led or dragged — watched event rush on event,
disclosure open beyond disclosure : but now, I thought.
The morning had been a quiet morning enough — all
except the brief scene with the lunatic : the transaction in
the church had not been noisy ; there was no explosion of
passion, no loud altercation, no dispute, no defiance or
challenge, no tears, no sobs : a few words had been spoken,
a calmly pronounced objection to the marriage made ; some
stern, short questions put by Mr. Eochester ; answers, explana-
tions given, evidence adduced ; an open admission of the
truth had been uttered by my master ; then the living proof
had been seen : the intruders were gone, and all was over.
I was in my own room as usual — just myself, without
obvious change : nothing had smitten me, or scathed me, or
360 JANE EYKE
maimed me. And yet, where was the Jane Eyre of yester-
day?— where was her life? — where were her prospects?
Jane Eyre, who had been an ardent, expectant woman —
almost a bride — was a cold, solitary girl again : her life was
pale ; her prospects were desolate. A Christmas frost had
come at midsummer ; a white December storm had whirled
over June ; ice glazed the ripe apples, drifts crushed the
blowing roses; on hay-field and corn-field lay a frozen
shroud : lanes which last night blushed full of flowers, to-
day were pathless with untrodden snow ; and fche woods,
which twelve hours since waved leafy and fragrant as
groves between the tropics, now spread, waste, wild, and
white as pine-forests in wintry Norway. My hopes were all
dead — struck with a subtle doom, such as, in one night, fell
on all the first-born in the land of Egypt. I looked on my
cherished wishes, yesterday so blooming and glowing : they
lay stark, chill, livid corpses that could never revive. I
looked at my love : that feeling which was my master's —
which he had created ; it shivered in my heart, like a suffer-
ing child in a cold cradle ; sickness and anguish had seized
it ; it could not seek Mr. Rochester's arms — it could not
derive warmth from his breast. Oh, never more could it
turn to him ; for faith was blighted — confidence destroyed 1
Mr. Rochester was not to me what he had been ; for he was
not what I had thought him. I would not ascribe vice to
him ; I would not say he had betrayed me : but the attribute
of stainless truth was gone from his idea ; and from his
presence I must go ; that I perceived well. When — how —
whither, I could not yet discern ; but he himself, I doubted
not, would hurry me from Thornfield. Real affection, it
seemed, he could not have for me ; it had been only fitful
passion : that was balked ; he would want me no more. I
should fear even to cross his path now : my view must be
hateful to him. Oh, how blind had been my eyes ! How
weak my conduct !
My eyes were covered and closed : eddying darkness
seemed to swim round me, and reflection came in as black
JANE EYEE 361
and confused a flow. Self -abandoned, relaxed, and effortless,
I seemed to have laid me down in the dried-up bed of a
great river ; I heard a flood loosened in remote mountains,
and felt the torrent come : to rise I had no will, to flee I
had no strength. I lay faint ; longing to be dead. One
idea only still throbbed life-like within me — a remembrance
of God: it begot an unuttered prayer: these words went
wandering up and down in my rayless mind, as something
that should be whispered; but no energy was found to
express them : — ' Be not far from me, for trouble is near :
there is none to help/
It was near : and as I had lifted no petition to Heaven
to avert it — as I had neither joined my hands, nor bent my
knees, nor moved my lips — it came : in full, heavy swing
the torrent poured over me. The whole consciousness of
my life lorn, my love lost, my hope quenched, my faith
death-struck, swayed full and mighty above me in one
sullen mass. That bitter hour cannot be described : in
truth, ' the waters came into my soul ; I sank in deep mire :
I felt no standing; I came into deep waters; the floods
overflowed me.'
362 JANE EYEE
CHAPTEE XXVII
SOME time in the afternoon I raised my head, and looking
round and seeing the western sun gilding the sign of its
decline on the wall, I asked, ' What am I to do ? '
But the answer my mind gave — ' Leave Thornfield at
once ' — was so prompt, so dread, that I stopped my ears : I
said, I could not bear such words now. ' That I am not
Edward Eochester's bride is the least part of my woe/ I
alleged : ' that I have wakened out of most glorious dreams,
and found them all void and vain, is a horror I could bear
and master ; but that I must leave him decidedly, instantly,
entirely, is intolerable. I cannot do it.1
But, then, a voice within me averred that I could do it ;
and ioretold that I should do it. I wrestled with my own
resolution : I wanted to be weak that I might avoid the
awful passage of further suffering I saw laid out for me ; and
conscience, turned tyrant, held passion by the throat, told
her tauntingly she had yet but dipped her dainty foot in the
slough, and swore that with that arm of iron he would thrust
her down to unsounded depths of agony.
1 Let me be torn away, then ! ' I cried ' Let another help
me!'
' No ; you shall tear yourself away, none shall help you :
you shall, yourself, pluck out your right eye : yourself cut
off your right hand : your heart shall be the victim ; and
you, the priest, to transfix it.'
I rose up suddenly, terror-struck at the solitude which so
ruthless a judge haunted, — at the silence which so awful a
voice filled. My head swam as I stood erect : I perceived
that I was sickening from excitement and inanition ; neither
JANE EYEE 363
meat nor drink had passed my lips that day, for I had taken
no breakfast. And, with a strange pang, I now reflected that,
long as I had been shut up here, no message had been sent
to ask how I was, or to invite me to come down : not even
little Ad61e had tapped at the door ; not even Mrs. Fairfax
had sought me. ' Friends always forget those whom fortune
forsakes/ I murmured, as I undrew the bolt and passed out.
I stumbled over an obstacle : my head was still dizzy, my
sight was dim, and my limbs were feeble. I could not soon
recover myself. I fell, but not on to the ground ; an out-
stretched arm caught me ; I looked up — I was supported
by Mr. Rochester, who sat in a chair across my chamber
threshold.
' You come out at last/ he said. ' Well, I have been
waiting for you long, and listening : yet not one movement
have I heard, nor one sob : five minutes more of that death-
like hush, and I should have forced the lock like a burglar.
So, you shun me ? — you shut yourself up and grieve alone !
I would rather you had come and upbraided me with
vehemence. You are passionate : I expected a scene of some
kind. I was prepared for the hot rain of tears; only I
wanted them to be shed on my breast : now a senseless floor
has received them, or your drenched handkerchief. But I
err : you have not wept at all ! I see a white cheek and a
faded eye, but no trace of tears. I suppose, then, your heart
has been weeping blood ?
' Well, Jane ; not a word of reproach ? Nothing bitter —
nothing poignant? Nothing to cut a feeling or sting a
passion? You sit quietly where I have placed you, and
regard me with a weary, passive look.
1 Jane, I never meant to wound you thus. If the man
who had but one little ewe lamb that was dear to him as a
daughter, that ate of his bread and drank of his cup, and lay
in his bosom, had by some mistake slaughtered it at the
shambles, he would not have rued his bloody blunder more
than I now rue mine. Will you ever forgive me ? '
Beader ! — I forgave him at the moment, and on the spot.
364 JANE EYEB
There was such deep remorse in his eye, such true pity in
his tone, such manly energy in his manner ; and, besides,
there was such unchanged love in his whole look and mien
— I forgave him all : yet not in words, not outwardly ; only
at my heart's core.
' You know I am a scoundrel, Jane ? ' ere long he inquired
wistfully — wondering, I suppose, at my continued silence
and tameness : the result rather of weakness than of will.
' Yes, sir/
* Then tell me so roundly and sharply — don't spare me/
1 1 cannot : I am tired and sick. I want some water/
He heaved a sort of shuddering sigh, and taking me in his
arms, carried me downstairs. At first I did not know to
what room he had borne me ; all was cloudy to my glazed
sight : presently I felt the reviving warmth of a fire ; for,
summer as it was, I had become icy cold in my chamber.
He put wine to my lips ; I tasted it and revived ; then I ate
something he offered me, and was soon myself. I was in
the library — sitting in his chair — he was quite near. ' If I
could go out of life now, without too sharp a pang, it would
be well for me/ I thought ; ' then I should not have to make
the effort of cracking my heart-strings in rending them from
among Mr. Bochester's. I must leave him, it appears. I
do not want to leave him — I cannot leave him/
' How are you now, Jane ? '
1 Much better, sir : I shall be well soon/
' Taste the wine again, Jane/
I obeyed him ; then he put the glass on the table, stood
before me, and looked at me attentively. Suddenly he
turned away, with an inarticulate exclamation, full of pas-
sionate emotion of some kind ; he walked fast through the
room and came back : he stooped towards me as if to kiss
me; but I remembered caresses were now forbidden. I
turned my face away, and put his aside.
' What 1— How is this ? ' he exclaimed hastily. ' Oh, I
know ! you won't kiss the husband of Bertha Mason ? You
consider my arms filled and my embraces appropriated ? '
JANE EYEE 365
' At any rate, there is neither room nor claim for me, sir.'
'Why, Jane? I will spare you the trouble of much
talking: I will answer for you— because I have a wife
already, you would reply. — I guess rightly ? '
'Yes.1
' If you think so, you must have a strange opinion of me :
you must regard me as a plotting profligate — a base and low
rake who has been simulating disinterested love in order to
draw you into a snare deliberately laid, and strip you of
honour, and rob you of self-respect. What do you say to
that ? I see you can say nothing : in the first place, you are
faint still, and have enough to do to draw your breath ; in
the second place, you cannot yet accustom youiself to accuse
and revile me; and, besides, the flood-gates of tears are
opened, and they would rush out if you spoke much ; and
you have no desire to expostulate, to upbraid, to make a
scene: you are thinking how to act, — talking, you con-
sider, is of no use. I know you — I am on my guard/
1 Sir, I do not wish to act against you,' I said ; and my
unsteady voice warned me to curtail my sentence.
'Not in your sense of the word, but in mine, you are
scheming to destroy me. You have as good as said that I
am a married man — as a married man you will shun me,
keep out of my way : just now you have refused to kiss me.
You intend to make yourself a complete stranger to me ; to
live under this roof only as Ad&le's governess : if ever I say
a friendly word to you, if ever a friendly feeling inclines you
again to me, you will say, — " That man had nearly made me
his mistress : I must be ice and rock to him ; " and ice and
rock you will accordingly become.'
I cleared and steadied my voice to reply : ' All is changed
about me, sir ; I must change too — there is no doubt of that ;
and to avoid fluctuations of feeling, and continual combats
with recollections and associations, there is only one way —
Adfele must have a new governess, sir.1
' Oh, Ad61e will go to school — I have settled that already ;
nor do I mean to torment you with the hideous associations
366 JANE EYEE
and recollections of Thornfield Hall — this accursed place —
this tent of Achan — this insolent vault, offering the ghastli-
ness of living death to the light of the open sky — this narrow
stone hell, with its one real fiend, worse than a legion of
such as we imagine. — Jane, you shall not stay here, nor will
I. I was wrong ever to bring you to Thornfield Hall, know-
ing as I did how it was haunted. I charged them to conceal
from you, before I ever saw you, all knowledge of the curse
of the place ; merely because I feared Adele never would
have a governess to stay if she knew with what inmate she
was housed, and my plans would not permit me to remove the
maniac elsewhere — though I possess an old house, Ferndean
Manor, even more retired and hidden than this, where I
could have lodged her safely enough, had not a scruple
about the unhealthiness of the situation, in the heart of a
wood, made my conscience recoil from the arrangement.
Probably those damp walls would soon have eased me of
her charge : but to each villain his own vice ; and mine is
not a tendency to indirect assassination, even of what I
most hate.
' Concealing the mad-woman's neighbourhood from you,
however, was something like covering a child with a cloak,
and laying it down near a upas-tree : that demon's vicinage
is poisoned, and always was. But I'll shut up Thornfield
Hall: 111 nail up the front door, and board the lower
v indows ; I'll give Mrs. Poole two hundred a year to live
here with my wife, as you term that fearful hag : Grace will
do much for money, and she shall have her son, the keeper
at Grimsby Eetreat, to bear her company and be at hand to
give her aid in the paroxysms when my wife is prompted
by her familiar to burn people in their beds at night, to stab
them, to bite their flesh from their bones, and so on '
'Sir,' I interrupted him, 'you are inexorable for that
unfortunate lady: you speak of her with hate — with
vindictive antipathy. It is cruel — she cannot help being
mad/
'Jane, my little darling (so I will call you, for so you
JANE EYRE 367
are), you don't know what you are talking about; you
misjudge me again : it is not because she is mad I hate her.
If you were mad, do you think I should hate you ? '
* I do indeed, sir/
' Then you are mistaken, and you know nothing about
me, and nothing about the sort of love of which I am
capable. Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my
own: in pain and sickness it would still be dear. Your
mind is my treasure, and if it were broken, it would be rny
treasure still : if you raved, my arms should confine you,
and not a strait waistcoat — your grasp, even in fury,
would have a charm for me : if you flew at me as wildly as that
woman did this morning, I should receive you in an embrace
at least as fond as it would be restrictive. I should not
shrink from you with disgust as I did from her : in your
quiet moments you should have no watcher and no nurse
but me ; and I could hang over you with untiring tender-
ness, though you gave me no smile in return ; and never
weary of gazing into your eyes, though they had no longer
a ray of recognition for me. — But why do I follow that train
of ideas ? I was talking of removing you from Thornfield.
All, you know, is prepared for prompt departure : to-morrow
you shall go. I only ask you to endure one more night
under this roof, Jane : and then, farewell to its miseries and
terrors for ever ! I have a place to repair to which will be
a secure sanctuary from hateful reminiscences, from unwel-
come intrusion — even from falsehood and slander.'
' And take Adele with you, sir,' I interrupted ; ' she will
be a companion for you.'
' What do you mean, Jane ? I told you I would send
Ad61e to school : and what do I want with a child for a
companion? and not my own child, — a French dancer's
bastard. Why do you importune me about her ? I say,
why do you assign Ad&le to me for a companion ? '
'You spoke of a retirement, sir; and retirement and
solitude are dull : too dull for you.'
Solitude 1 solitude ! ' he reiterated, with irritation. ' I
368 JANE EYEE
see I must come to an explanation. I don't know what
sphinx-like expression is forming in your countenance. You
are to share my solitude. Do you understand ? '
I shook my head : it required a degree of courage,
excited as he was becoming, even to risk that mute sign of
dissent. He had been walking fast about the room, and he
stopped, as if suddenly rooted to one spot. He looked at
me long and hard : I turned my eyes from him, fixed them
on the fire, and tried to assume and maintain a quiet, col-
lected aspect.
' Now for the hitch in Jane's character/ he said at last,
speaking more calmly than from his look I had expected
him to speak. ' The reel of silk has run smoothly enough
so far ; but I always knew there would come a knot and a
puzzle : here it is. Now for vexation, and exasperation,
and endless trouble ! By God 1 I long to exert a fraction of
Samson's strength, and break the entanglement like tow ! '
He recommenced his walk : but soon again stopped, and
this time just before me.
' Jane ! will you hear reason ? f (he stooped and ap-
proached his lips to my ear) ' because, if you won't, I'll try
violence.' His voice was hoarse ; his look that of a man
who is just about to burst an insufferable bond and plunge
headlong into wild license. I saw that in another moment,
and with one impetus of frenzy more, I should be able to do
nothing with him. The present — the passing second of
time — was all I had in which to control and restrain him :
a movement of repulsion, flight, fear, would have sealed my
doom,— and his.' But I was not afraid : not in the least. I
felt an inward power; a sense of influence, which sup-
ported me. The crisis was perilous ; but not without its
charm : such as the Indian, perhaps, feels when he slips
over the rapid in his canoe. I took hold of his clenched
hand; loosened the contorted fingers, and said to him,
soothingly, — ' Sit down ; I'll talk to you as long as you like,
and hear all you have to say, whether reasonable or
unreasonable/
JANE EYEE 369
He sat down : but he did not get leave to speak
directly. I had been struggling with tears for some time ; I
had taken great pains to repress them, because I knew he
would not like to see me weep. Now, however, I considered
it well to let them flow as freely and as long as they liked.
If the flood annoyed him, so much the better. So I gave
way and cried heartily.
Soon I heard him earnestly entreating me to be com-
posed. I said I could not while he was in such a passion.
' But I am not angry, Jane : I only love you too well ;
and you had steeled your little pale face with such a
resolute, frozen look, I could not endure it. Hush, now,
and wipe your eyes/
His softened voice announced that he was subdued ; so I,
in my turn, became calm. Now he made an effort to rest
his head on my shoulder ; but I would not permit it. Then
he would draw me to him : no.
' Jane ! Jane I ' he said, in such an accent of bitter sad-
ness it thrilled along every nerve I had, ' you don't love me,
then ? It was only my station, and the rank of my wife,
that you valued ? Now that you think me disqualified to
become your husband you recoil from my touch as if I were
some toad or ape/
These words cut me : yet what could I do or say ? I
ought probably to have done or said nothing : but I was so
tortured by a sense of remorse at thus hurting his feelings I
could not control the wish to drop balm where I had
wounded.
1 1 do love you/ I said, ' more than ever : but I must not
show or indulge the feeling : and this is the last time I must
express it/
' The last time, Jane ! What ! do you think you can
live with me, and see me daily, and yet, if you still love me,
be always cold and distant ? '
' No, sir ; that I am certain I could not ; and therefore I
see there is but one way : but you will be furious if I men-
tion it/
370 JANE EYRE
' Oh, mention it 1 If I storm, you have the art of weeping.
' Mr. Bodies ter, I must leave you.'
' For how long, Jane ? For a few minutes, while you
smooth your hair — which is somewhat dishevelled; and
bathe your face — which looks feverish? '
* I must leave Ad&le and Thornfield. I must part with
you for my whole life: I must begin a new existence
amongst strange faces and strange scenes.'
1 Of course : I told you you should. I pass over the
madness about parting from me. You mean you must
become a part of me. As to the new existence, it is all
right : you shall yet be my wife : I am not married. You
shall be Mrs. Rochester — both virtually and nominally. I
shall keep only to you so long as you and I live. You shall
go to a place I have in the south of France : a white-washed
villa on the shores of the Mediterranean. There you shall
live a happy, and guarded, and most innocent life. Never
fear that I wish to lure you into error — to make you my
mistress. Why do you shake your head ? Jane, you must
be* reasonable ; or in truth I shall again become frantic/
His voice and hand quivered ; his large nostrils dilated ;
his eye blazed ; still I dared to speak : — ' Sir, your wife is
living : that is a fact acknowledged this morning by your-
self. If I lived with you as you desire, I should then be
your mistress : to say otherwise is sophistical — is false.'
* Jane, I am not a gentle-tempered man — you forget that :
I am not long-enduring ; I am not cool and dispassionate.
Out of pity to me and yourself, put your finger on my pulse,
feel how it throbs, and — beware ! '
He bared his wrist and offered it to me : the blood was
forsaking his cheek and lips; they were growing livid; I
was distressed on all hands. To agitate him thus deeply, by
a resistance he so abhorred, was cruel : to yield was out of
the question. I did what human beings do instinctively
when they are driven to utter extremity — looked for aid to
one higher than man : the words ' God help me ! ' burst
involuntarily from my lips.
JANE EYBE 371
1 1 am a fool 1 ' cried Mr. Bochester suddenly. ' I keep
telling her I am not married, and do not explain to her why.
I forget she knows nothing of the character of that woman,
or of the circumstances attending my infernal union with her.
Oh, I am certain Jane will agree with me in opinion when
she knows all that I know ! Just put your hand in mine,
Janet, that I may have the evidence of touch as well as
sight to prove you are near me — and I will in a few words
show you the real state of the case. Can you listen to me ? '
I Yes, sir ; for hours if you will.'
' I ask only minutes. Jane, did you ever hear or know
that I was not the eldest sin of my house ; that I had once
a brother older than I ? '
' I remember Mrs. Fairfax told me so once.'
' And did you ever hear that my father was an avaricious,
grasping man ? '
I 1 have understood something to that effect.'
' Well, Jane, being so, it was his resolution to keep the
property together; he could not bear the idea of dividing
his estate and leaving me a fair portion : all, he resolved,
should go to my brother Bowland. Yet as little could he
endure that a son of his should be a poor man. I must be
provided for by a wealthy marriage. He sought me a part-
ner betimes. Mr. Mason, a West India planter and merchant,
was his old acquaintance. He was certain his possessions
were real and vast: he made inquiries. Mr. Mason, he
found, had a son and daughter ; and he learned from him
that he could and would give the latter a fortune of thirty
thousand pounds : that sufficed. When I left college I was
sent out to Jamaica, to espouse a bride already courted for
me. My father said nothing about her money ; but he told
me Miss Mason was the boast of Spanish Town for her
beauty : and this was no lie. I found her a fine woman, in
the style of Blanche Ingram ; tall, dark, and majestic. Her
family wished to secure me, because I was of a good race ;
and so did she. They showed her to me in parties, splendidly
dressed. I saldom saw her alone, and had very little private
372 JANE EYEE
conversation with her. She flattered me, and lavishly dis-
played for my pleasure her charms and accomplishments.
All the men in her circle seemed to admire her and envy me.
I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and
being ignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved
her. There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries
of society, the prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth,
will not hurry a man to its commission. Her relatives
encouraged me ; competitors piqued me ; she allured me : a
marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was.
Oh, I have no respect for myself when I think of that act !
— an agony of inward contempt masters me. I never loved,
T never esteemed, I did not even know her. I was not sure
of the existence of one virtue in her nature : I had marked
neither modesty, nor benevolence, nor candour, nor refine-
ment in her mind or manners — and, I married her : — gross,
grovelling, mole-eyed blockhead that I was ! With less sin
I might have — but let me remember to whom I am
speaking.
' My bride's mother I had never seen : I understood she
was dead. The honeymoon over, I learned my mistake ;
she was only mad, and shut up in a lunatic asylum. There
was a younger brother, too, a complete* dumb idiot. The
elder one, whom you have seen (and whom I cannot hate,
whilst I abhor all his kindred, because he has some grains of
affection in his feeble mind ; shown in the continued interest
he takes in his wretched sister, and also in a dog-like attach-
ment he once bore me), will probably be in the same state
one day. My father, and my brother Eowland, knew all
this ; but they thought only of the thirty thousand pounds,
and joined in the plot against me.
1 These were vile discoveries ; but, except for the treachery
of concealment, I should have made them no subject of
reproach to my wife : even when I found her nature wholly
alien to mine ; her tastes obnoxious to me ; her cast of mind
common, low, narrow, and singularly incapable of being led
to anything higher, expanded to anything larger—when I
JANE EYRE 373
found that I could not pass a single evening, nor even a
single hour of the day, with her in comfort : that kindly con-
versation could not be sustained between us, because what-
ever topic I started immediately received from her a turn
at once coarse and trite, perverse and imbecile — when I per-
ceived that I should never have a quiet or settled household,
because no servant would bear the continued outbreaks of
her violent and unreasonable temper, or the vexations of her
absurd, contradictory, exacting orders — even then I re-
strained myself : I eschewed upbraiding, I curtailed remon-
strance ; I tried to devour my repentance and disgust in secret ;
I repressed the deep antipathy I felt.
' Jane, I will not trouble you with abominable details :
some strong words shall express what I have to say. I lived
with that woman upstairs four years, and before that time
she had tried me indeed : her character ripened and developed
with frightful rapidity ; her vices sprang up fast and rank :
they were so strong, only cruelty could check them ; and I
would not use cruelty. What a pigmy intellect she had —
and what giant propensities ! How fearful were the curses
those propensities entailed on me! Bertha Mason,— the
true daughter of an infamous mother, — dragged me through
all the hideous and degrading agonies which must attend a
man bound to a wife at once intemperate and unchaste.
' My brother in the interval was dead ; and at the end of
the four years my father died too. I was rich enough now —
yet poor to hideous indigence : a nature the most gross,
impure, depraved, I ever saw, was associated with mine, and
called by the law and by society a part of me. And I could
not rid myself of it by any legal proceedings : for the doctors
now discovered that my wife was mad — her excesses had pre-
maturely developed the germs of insanity : — Jane, you don't
like my narrative ; you look almost sick — shall I defer the
rest to another day ? '
' No, sir, finish it now : I pity you — I do earnestly pity
you.'
'Pity, Jane, from some people is a noxious and insulting
374 JANE EYEE
sort of tribute, which one is justified in hurling back in the
teeth of those who offer it ; but that is the sort of pity native
to callous, selfish hearts : it is a hybrid, egotistical pain at
hearing of woes, crossed with ignorant contempt for those
who have endured them. But that is not your pity, Jane :
it is not the feeling of which your whole face is full at this
moment — with which your eyes are now almost overflowing
— with which your heart is heaving — with which your hand
is trembling in mine. Your pity, my darling, is the suffering
mother of love: its anguish is the very natal pang of the
divine passion. I accept it, Jane ; let the daughter have free
advent — my arms wait to receive her.'
' Now, sir, proceed : what did you do when you found
she was mad?'
' Jane — I approached the verge of despair : a remnant .*f
self-respect was all that intervened between me and the gulf.
In the eyes of the world I was doubtless covered with grimy
dishonour : but I resolved to be clean in my own sight — and
to the last I repudiated the contamination of her crimes, and
wrenched myself from connection with her mental defects.
Still, society associated my name and person with hers ! I
yet saw her and heard her daily : something of her breath
(faugh!) mixed with the air I breathed; and, besides, I
remembered I had once been her husband — that recollection
was then, and is now, inexpressibly odious to me : moreover,
I knew that while she lived I could never be the husband of
another and better wife ; and though five years my senior
(her family and her father had lied to me even in the par-
ticular ot her age), she was likely to live as long as I, being
as robust in frame as she was infirm in mind. Thus, at the
age of twenty-six, I was hopeless.
1 One night I had been awakened by her yells — (since the
medical men had pronounced her mad she had of course
been shut up) — it was a fiery West Indian night ; one of the
description that frequently precede the hurricanes of those
climates ; being unable to sleep in bed, I got up and opened
the window. The air was like sulphur-steams— I could find
JANE EYEE 375
no refreshment anywhere. Mosquitoes came buzzing in and
hummed sullenly round the room ; the sea, which I could
hear from thence, rumbled dull like an earthquake — black
clouds were casting up over it ; the moon was setting in the
waves, broad and red, like a hot cannon-ball — she threw her
last bloody glance over a world quivering with the ferment
of tempest. I was physically influenced by the atmosphere
and scene, and my ears were filled with the curses the maniac
still shrieked out ; wherein she momentarily mingled my
name with such a tone of demon-hate, with such language !
— no professed harlot ever had a fouler vocabulary than she :
though two rooms off, I heard every word — the thin parti-
tions of the West India house opposing but slight obstruction
to her wolfish cries.
'"This life," said 1 at last, "is hell! this is the air—
those are the sounds of the bottomless pit ! I have a right
to deliver myself from it if I can. The sufferings of this
mortal state will leave me with the heavy flesh that now
cumbers my soul. Of the fanatic's burning eternity I have
no fear ; there is not a future state worse than this present
one — let me break away, and go home to God ! "
' I said this whilst I knelt down at and unlocked a trunk
which contained a brace of loaded pistols : I meant to shoot
myself. I only entertained the intention for a moment;
for not being insane, the crisis of exquisite and unalloyed
despair which had originated the wish and design of
self-destruction was past in a second.
'A wind fresh from Europe blew over the ocean and
rushed through the open casement : the storm broke, streamed,
thundered, blazed, and the air grew pure. I then framed
and fixed a resolution. While I walked under the dripping
orange-trees of my wet garden, and amongst its drenched
pomegranates and pine-apples, and while the refulgent dawn
of the tropics- kindled round me — I reasoned thus, Jane : —
and now listen ; for it was true Wisdom that consoled me
in that hour, and showed me the right path to follow.
' The sweet wind from Europe was still whispering in the
o
376 JANE BYEB
refreshed leaves, and the Atlantic was thundering in glorious
liberty ; my heart, dried up and scorched for a long time,
swelled to the tone, and filled with living blood — my being
longed for renewal— my soul thirsted for a pure draught. I
saw Hope revive — and felt Eegeneration possible. From a
flowery arch at the bottom of my garden I gazed over the sea
— bluer than the sky: the old world was beyond; clear
prospects opened thus : —
1 " Go," said Hope, " and live again in Europe : there it
is not known what a sullied name you bear, nor what a filthy
burden is bound to you. You may take the maniac with
you to England ; confine her with due attendance and pre-
cautions at Thornfield : then travel yourself to what clime
you will, and form what new tie you like. That woman, who
has so abused your long-suffering — so sullied your name ;
so outraged your honour ; so blighted your youth - is not your
wife ; nor are you her husband. See that she is cared for as
her condition demands, and you have done all that God and
Humanity require of you. Let her identity, her connection
with yourself, be buried in oblivion : you are bound to im-
part them to no living being. Place her in safety and com-
fort : shelter her degradation with secrecy, and leave her."
' I acted precisely on this suggestion. My father and
brother had not made my marriage known to their acquain-
tance ; because, in the very first letter I wrote to apprise
them of the union — having already begun to experience
extreme disgust of its consequences ; and from the family
character and constitution seeing a hideous future opening
to me— I added an urgent charge to keep it secret; and
very soon the infamous conduct of the wife my father had
selected for me was such as to make him blush to own
her as his daughter-in-law. Par from desiring to publish
the connection, he became as anxious to conceal it as
myself.
1 To England, then, I conveyed her ; a fearful voyage I
had with such a monster in the vessel. Glad was I when I at
last got her to Thornfield, and saw her safely lodged in that
JANE EYEE 377
third -storey room, of whose secret inner cabinet she has now
for ten years made a wild beast's den — a goblin's cell. I
had some trouble in finding an attendant for her : as it was
necessary to select one on whose fidelity dependence
could be placed ; for her ravings would inevitably betray my
secret : besides, she had lucid intervals of days — sometimes
weeks — which she filled up with abuse of me. At last I
hired Grace Poole, from the Grimsby Eetreat. She and the
surgeon, Carter (who dressed Mason's wounds that night he
was stabbed and worried), are the only two I have ever ad-
mitted to my confidence. Mrs. Fairfax may indeed have
suspected something ; but she could have gained no precise
knowledge as to facts. Grace has, on the whole, proved a
good keeper ; though, owing partly to a fault of her own, of
which it appears nothing can cure her, and which is incident
to her harassing profession, her vigilance has been more
than once lulled and baffled. The lunatic is both cunning
and malignant ; she has never failed to take advantage of
her guardian's temporary lapses ; once to secrete the knife
with which she stabbed her brother, and twice to possess
herself of the key of her cell, and issue therefrom in the night-
time. On the first of these occasions she perpetrated the
attempt to burn me in my bed ; on the second she paid that
ghastly visit to you. I thank Providence, who watched over
you, that she then spent her fury on your wedding apparel ;
which perhaps brought back vague reminiscences of her own
bridal days : but on what might have happened I cannot
endure to reflect. When I think of the thing which flew at
my throat this morning hanging its black and scarlet visage
over the nest of my dove my blood curdles '
1 And what, sir,' I asked, while he paused, ' did you do
when you had settled her here ? Where did you go ? '
1 What did I do, Jane ? I transformed myself into a
Will-o'-the-wisp. Where did I go ? I pursued wanderings
as wild as those of the March-spirit. I sought the Continent,
and went devious through all its lands. My fixed desire was
378 JANE EYEE
to seek and find a good and intelligent woman whom I
could love : a contrast to the fury I left at Thornfield '
I But you could not marry, sir.'
' I had determined, and was convinced that I could and
ought. It was not my original intention to deceive, as I
have deceived you. I meant to tell my tale plainly,
and make my proposals openly : and it appeared to me so
absolutely rational that I should be considered free to love
and be loved, I never doubted some woman might be found
willing and able to understand my case and accept me, in
spite of the curse with which I was burdened.'
' Well, sir ? '
c When you are inquisitive, Jane, you always make me
smile. You open your eyes like an eager bird, and make
every now and then a restless movement ; as if answers in
speech did not flow fast enough for you, and you wanted to
read the tablet of one's heart. But before I go on tell me
what you mean by your " Well, sir ? " Ife is a small phrase
very frequent with you ; and which many a time has drawn
me on and on through interminable talk : I don't very well
know why.'
I 1 mean — What next ? How did you proceed ? What
came of such an event ? '
1 Precisely : and what do you wish to know now ? '
1 Whether you found any one you liked : whether you
asked her to marry you ; and what she said.'
' I can tell you whether I found any one I liked, and
whether I asked her to marry me : but what she said is yet
to be recorded in the book of Fate. For ten long years I
roved about, living first in one capital, then another : some-
times in St. Petersburg ; oftener in Paris ; occasionally in
Eome, Naples, and Florence. Provided with plenty of money
and the passport of an old' name, I could choose my own
society : no circles were closed against me. I sought my
ideal of a woman amongst English ladies, French countesses,
Italian signoras, and German grafinnen. I could not find
her. Sometimes, for a fleeting moment, I thought I caught
JANE EYRE 379
a glance, heard a tone, beheld a form, which announced the
realisation of my dream : but I was presently undeceived.
You are not to suppose that I desired perfection, either of
mind or person. I longed only forxwhat suited me — for the
antipodes of the Creole : and I longed vainly. Amongst
them all I found not one whom, had I been ever so free, I —
warned as I was of the risks, the horrors, the loathings of
incongruous unions — would have asked to marry me. Dis-
appointment made me reckless. I tried dissipation— never
debauchery : that I hated, and hate. That was my Indian
Messalina's attribute : rooted disgust at it and her restrained
me much, even in pleasure. Any enjoyment that bordered
on riot seemed to approach me to her and her vices, and I
eschewed it.
' Yet I could not live alone ; so I tried the companionship
of mistresses. The first I chose was Celine Varens — another
of those steps which make a man spurn himself when he re-
calls them. You already know what she was, and how my
liaison with her terminated. She had two successors : an
Italian, Giacinta, and a German, Clara; both considered
singularly handsome. What was their beauty to me in a few
weeks ? Giacinta was unprincipled and violent : I tired of her
in three months. Clara was honest and quiet ; but heavy,
mindless, unimpressible : not one whit to my taste. I was
glad to give her a sufficient sum to set her up in a good line
of business, and so get decently rid of her. But, Jane, I see
by your face you are not forming a very favourable opinion
of me just now. You think me an unfeeling, loose-principled
rake : don't you ? '
' I don't like you so well as I have done sometimes, in-
deed, sir. Did it not seem to you in the least wrong to live
in that way : first with one mistress and then another ? You
talk of it as a mere matter of course.'
'It was with me: and I did not like it. It was a
grovelling fashion of existence : I should never like to return
to it. Hiring a mistress is the next worst thing to buying a
slave : both are often by nature, and always by position,
380 JANE BYEE
inferior : and to live familiarly with inferiors is degrading. I
now hate the recollection of the time I passed with C61ine,
Giacinta, and Clara.1
I felt the truth of these words ; and I drew from them the
certain inference, that if I were so far to forget myself and
all the teaching that had ever been instilled into me as —
under any pretext— with any justification — through any
temptation — to become the successor of these poor girls, he
would one day regard me with the same feeling which now
in his mind desecrated their memory. I did not give utter-
ance to this conviction : it was enough to feel it. I impressed
it on my heart, that it might remain there to serve me as aid
in the time of trial.
' Now, Jane, why don't you say " Well, sir ? " I have not
done. You are looking grave. You disapprove of me still, I
see. But let me come to the point. Last January, rid of all
mistresses — in a harsh, bitter frame of mind, the result of a
useless, roving, lonely life— corroded with disappointment,
sourly disposed against all men, and especially against all
womankind (for I began to regard the notion of an intellec-
tual, faithful, loving woman as a mere dream), recalled by
business, I came back to England.
' On a frosty winter afternoon I rode in sight of Thorn-
field Hall. Abhorred spot 1 I expected no peace — no
pleasure there. On a stile in Hay Lane I saw a quiet little
figure sitting by itself. I passed it as negligently as I did
the pollard willow opposite to it ; I had no presentiment of
what it would be to me; no inward warning that the
arbitress of my life — my genius for good or evil — waited
there in humble guise. I did not know it even when, on
the occasion of Mesrour's accident, it came up and gravely
offered me help. Childish and slender creature ! It seemed
as if a linnet had hopped on my foot and proposed to bear
me on its tiny wing. I was surly; but the thing would
not go : it stood by me with strange perseverance, and looked
and spoke with a sort of authority. I must be aided, and by
that hand - and aided I was.
JANE EYBE 381
c When once I had pressed the frail shoulder, something
new — a fresh sap and sense — stole into my frame. It was
well I had learnt that this elf must return to me — that it
belonged to my house down below — or I could not have felt
it pass away from under my hand, and seen it vanish behind
the dim hedge, without singular regret. I heard you come
home that night, Jane : though probably you were not aware
that I thought of you, or watched for you. The next day I
observed you — myself unseen — for half an hour, while you
played with Adfcle in the gallery. It was a snowy day, I
recollect, and you could not go out of doors. I was in my
room ; the door was ajar : I could both listen and watch.
Ad&le claimed your outward attention for a while; yet I
fancied your thoughts were elsewhere : but you were very
patient wilh her, my little Jane; you talked to her and
amused her a long time. When at last she left you, you
lapsed at once into deep reverie : you betook yourself slowly
to pace the gallery. Now and then, in passing a casement,
you glanced out at the thick-falling snow ; you listened to
the sobbing wind, and again you paced gently on and
dreamed. I think those day visions were not dark ; there was
a pleasurable illumination in your eye occasionally, a soft
excitement in your aspect, which told of no bitter, bilious,
hypochondriac brooding: your look revealed rather the
sweet musings of youth, when its spirit follows on willing
wings the flight of Hope, up and on to an ideal heaven.
The voice of Mrs. Fairfax, speaking to a servant in the hall,
wakened you : and how curiously you smiled to and at
yourself, Janet I There was much sense in your smile : it
was very shrewd, and seemed to make light of your own
abstraction. It seemed to say — " My fine visions are all
very well, but I must not forget they are absolutely unreal
I have a rosy sky, and a green flowery Eden in my brain ;
but without, I am perfectly aware, lies at my feet a rough
tract to travel, and around me gather black tempests to
encounter/' You ran downstairs and demanded of Mrs.
Fairfax some occupation : the weekly house accounts to
382 JANE EYEE
make up, or something of that sort, I think it was. I was
vexed with you for getting out of my sight.
1 Impatiently I waited for evening, when I might summon
you to my presence. An unusual — to me — a perfectly new
character I suspected was yours : I desired to search it
deeper, and know it better. You entered the room with a
look and air at once shy and independent : you were
quaintly dressed — much as you are now. I made you talk
— ere long I found you full of strange contrasts. Your garb
and manner were restricted by rule; your air was often
diffident, and altogether that of one refined by nature, but
absolutely unused to society, and a good deal afraid of
making herself disadvantageously conspicuous by some
solecism or blunder ; yet when addressed you lifted a keen,
a daring, and a glowing eye to your interlocutor's face:
there was penetration and power in each glance you gave ;
when plied by close questions, you found ready and round
answers. Very soon you seemed to get used to me; I
believe you felt the existence of sympathy between you and
your grim and cross master, Jane ; for it was astonishing to
see how quickly a certain pleasant ease tranquillised your
manner: snarl as I would, you showed no surprise, fear,
annoyance, or displeasure at my moroseness ; you watched
me, and now and then smiled at me with a simple yet
sagacious grace I cannot describe. I was at once content
and stimulated with what I saw : I liked what I had seen,
and wished to see more. Yet, for a long time, I treated you
distantly, and sought your company rarely. I was an intel-
lectual epicure, and wished to prolong the gratification of
making this novel and piquant acquaintance : besides, I was
for a while troubled with a haunting fear that if I handled
the flower freely its bloom would fade — the sweet charm of
freshness would leave it. I did not then know that it was
no transitory blossom ; but rather the radiant resemblance
of one, cut in an indestructible gem. Moreover, I wished to
see whether you would seek me if I shunned you — but you
did not : you kept in the school-room as still as your own
JANE EYEE 383
desk and easel ; if by chance I met you, you passed me as
soon, and with as little token of recognition, as was con-
sistent with respect. Your habitual expression in those
days, Jane, was a thoughtful look : not despondent, for you
were not sickly ; but not buoyant, for you had little hope,
and no actual pleasure. I wondered what you thought of
me — or if you ever thought of me; to find this out I re-
sumed my notice of you. There was something glad in
your glance and genial in your manner when you con-
versed : I saw you had a social heart ; it was the silent
school-room — it was the tedium of your life — that made you
mournful. I permitted myself the delight of being kind to
you ; kindness stirred emotion soon : your face became soft
in expression, your tones gentle; I liked my name pro-
nounced by your lips in a grateful, happy accent. I used to
enjoy a chance meeting with you, Jane, at this time : there
was a curious hesitation in your manner : you glanced at me
with a slight trouble — a hovering doubt : you did not know
what my caprice might be — whether I was going to play the
master and be stern, or the friend and be benignant. I was
now too fond of you often to stimulate the first whim ; and,
when I stretched my hand out cordially, such bloom and light
and bliss rose to your young, wistful features, I had much
ado often to avoid straining you then and there to my heart.'
' Don't talk any more of those days, sir/ I interrupted,
furtively dashing away some tears from my eyes ; his
language was torture to me ; for I knew what I must do —
and do soon — and all these reminiscences and these revela-
tions of his feelings only made my work more difficult.
' No, Jane/ he returned : ' what necessity is there to
dwell on the Past, when the Present is so much surer — the
Future so much brighter? '
I shuddered to hear the infatuated assertion.
' You see now how the case stands — do you not ? ' he
continued. 'After a youth and manhood passed half in
unutterable misery and half in dreary solitude, I have for
the first time found what I can truly love — I have found
02
JANE EYEE
you. You are my sympathy — my better self — my good angel
— I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think
you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is
conceived in my heart ; it leans to you, draws you to my
centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you — and,
kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.
1 It was because I felt and knew this that I resolved to
marry you. To tell me that I had already a wife is empty
mockery : you know now that I had but a hideous demon.
I was wrong to attempt to deceive you; but I feared a
stubbornness that exists in your character. I feared early
instilled prejudice : I wanted to have you safe before hazard-
ing confidences. This was cowardly : I should have appealed
to your nobleness and magnanimity at first, as I do now —
opened to you plainly my life of agony — described to you
my hunger and thirst after a higher and worthier existence
— shown to you, not my resolution (that word is weak), but
my resistless bent to love faithfully and well where I am
faithfully and well loved in return. Then I should have asked
you to accept my pledge of fidelity, and to give me yours :
Jane — give it me now/
A pause.
' Why are you silent, Jane ? '
I was experiencing an ordeal: a hand of fiery iron
grasped my vitals. Terrible moment : full of struggle,
blackness, burning 1 Not a human being that ever lived
could wish to be loved better than I was loved ; and him
who thus loved me I absolutely worshipped : and I must
renounce love and idol. One drear word comprised my
intolerable duty — ' Depart ! '
' Jane, you understand what I want of you ? Just this
promise — " I will be yours, Mr. Eochester/' '
1 Mr. Eochester, I will not be yours/
Another long silence.
' Jane ! ' recommenced he, with a gentleness that broke
me down with grief, and turned me stone-cold with ominous
terror— for this still voice was the pant of a lion rising—
JANE BYBB 385
'Jane, do you mean to go one way in the world, and to let
me go another ? '
'I do/
' Jane ' (bending towards and embracing me), ' do you
mean it now?'
'I do/
1 And now ? ' softly kissing my forehead and cheek.
'I do1 — extricating myself from restraint rapidly and
completely.
1 Oh, Jane, this is bitter ! This — this is wicked. It would
not be wicked to love me/
' It would to obey you/
A wild look raised his brows — crossed his features : he
rose; but he forbore yet. I laid my hand on the back of a
chair for support : I shook, I feared — but I resolved.
1 One instant, Jane. Give one glance to my horrible life
when you are gone. All happiness will be torn away with
you. What then is left ? For a wife I have but the maniac
upstairs : as well might you refer me to some corpse in
yonder churchyard. What shall I do, Jane ? Where turn
for a companion, and for some hope ? '
' Do as I do : trust in God and yourself. Believe in
heaven. Hope to meet again there/
I Then you Will not yield ? '
'No/
'Then you condemn me to live wretched, and to die
accursed? ' His voice rose.
I 1 advise you to live sinless ; and I wish you to die
tranquil/
' Then you snatch love and innocence from me ? You
fling me back on lust for a passion — vice for an occupa-
tion?1
' Mr. Eochester, I no more assign this fate to you than I
grasp at it for myself. We were born to strive and endure —
you as well as I : do so. You will forget me before I forget
you/
' You make me a liar by such language : you sully my
386 JANE EYEE
honour. I declared I could not change : you tell me to my
face I shall change soon. And what a distortion in your
judgment, what a perversity in your ideas, is proved by your
conduct ! Is it better to drive a fellow-creature to despair
than to transgress a mere human law — no man being injured
by the breach ? for you have neither relatives nor acquain-
tances whom you need fear to offend by living with me/
This was true : and while he spoke my very conscience
and reason turned traitors against me, and charged me with
crime in resisting him. They spoke almost as loud as
Feeling : and that clamoured wildly. ' Oh, comply I ' it said.
' Think of his misery ; think of his danger — look at his state
when left alone ; remember his headlong nature ; consider the
recklessness following on despair — soothe him; save him;
love him ; tell him you love him and will be his. Who in the
world cares for you ? or who will be injured by what you do ? '
Still indomitable was the reply — ' I care for myself. The
more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I
am, the more I will respect myself. I will keep the law
given by God ; sanctioned by man. I will hold to the prin-
ciples received by me when I was sane, and not mad — as I am
now. Laws and principles are not for the times when there
is no temptation : they are for such moments as this, when
body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour ; stringent
are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual
convenience I might break them, what would be their worth ?
They have a worth — so I have always believed ; and if I
cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane — quite
insane : with my veins running fire, and my heart beating
faster than I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions,
foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand
by : there I plant my foot/
I did. Mr. Bochester, reading my countenance, saw I
had done so. His fury was wrought to the highest : he
must yield to it for a moment, whatever followed ; he crossed
the floor and seized my arm, and grasped my waist. He
seemed to devour me with his flaming glance : physically, I
JANE EYEB 387
felt, at the moment, powerless as stubble exposed to the
draught and glow of a furnace — mentally, I still possessed
my soul, and with it the certainty of ultimate safety. The
soul, fortunately, has an interpreter — often an unconscious,
but still a truthful interpreter — in the eye. My eye rose to
his ; and while I looked in his fierce face, I gave an involun-
tary sigh : his grip was painful, and my overtasked strength
almost exhausted.
'Never,1 said he, as he ground his teeth, 'never was
anything at once so frail and so indomitable. A mere reed
she feels in my hand ! ' (And he shook me with the force
of his hold.) ' 1 could bend her with my finger and thumb :
and what good would it do if I bent, if I uptore, if I crushed
her? Consider that eye: consider the resolute, wild, free
thing looking out of it, defying me, with more than courage
— with a stern triumph. Whatever I do with its cage, I
cannot get at it — the savage, beautiful creature ! If I tear,
if I rend the slight prison, my outrage will only let the
captive loose. Conqueror I might be of the house ; but the
inmate would escape to heaven before I could call myself
possessor of its clay dwelling-place. And it is you, spirit —
with will and energy, and virtue and purity — that I want :
not alone your brittle frame. Of yourself, you could come
with soft flight and nestle against my heart, if you would :
seized against your will you will elude the grasp like an
essence — you will vanish ere I inhale your fragrance. Oh 1
come, Jane, come ! '
As he said this he released me trom his clutch, and only
looked at me. The look was far worse to resist than the
frantic strain : only an idiot, however, would have suc-
cumbed now. I had dared and baffled his fury; I must
elude his sorrow : I retired to the door.
' You are going, Jane ? '
' I am going, sir.'
' You are leaving me ? '
'Yes.1
4 You will not come ?— You will not be my comforter, my
388 JANE EYBB
rescuer?— My deep love, my wild woe, my frantic prayer,
are all nothing to you ? '
What unutterable pathos was in his voice ! How hard
it was to reiterate firmly, ' I am going.'
'Jane!'
1 Mr. Eochester ! '
' Withdraw, then, — I consent — but remember, you leave
me here in anguish. Go up to your own room ; think over
all I have said, and, Jane, cast a glance on my sufferings —
think of me.'
He turned away ; he threw himself on his face on the
sofa. ' Oh, Jane ! my hope — my love — my life ! ' broke in
anguish from his lips. Then came a deep, strong sob.
I had already gained the door: but, reader, I walked
back — walked back as determinedly as I had retreated. I
knelt down by him ; I turned his face from the cushion to
me ; I kissed his cheek ; I smoothed his hair with my hand.
1 God bless you, my dear master 1 ' I said. ' God keep
you from harm and wrong — direct you, solace you — reward
you well for your past kindness to me.'
1 Little Jane's love would have been my best reward/ he
answered: 'without it, my heart is broken. But Jane will
give me her love : yes — nobly, generously.'
Up the blood rushed to his face ; forth flashed the fire
from his eyes ; erect he sprang ; he held his arms out ; but
I evaded the embrace, and at once quitted the room.
' Farewell ! ' was the cry of my heart as I left him.
Despair added, ' Farewell, for ever ! f
That night I never thought to sleep ; but a slumber fell
on me as soon as I lay down in bed. I was transported in
thought to the scenes of childhood ; I dreamt I lay in the
red-room at Gateshead ; that the night was dark, and my
mind impressed with strange fears. The light that long ago
had struck me into syncope, recalled in this vision, seemed
glidingly to mount the wall, and tremblingly to pause in the
centre of the obscured ceiling. I lifted up my head to look ;
JANE EYBB 389
the roof resolved to clouds, high and dim ; the gleam was
such as the moon imparts to vapours she is about to sever.
I watched her come — watched with the strangest anticipa-
tion ; as though some word of doom were to be written on
her disk. She broke forth as never moon yet burst from
cloud: a hand first penetrated the sable folds and waved
them away; then, not a moon, but a white human form
shone in the azure, inclining a glorious brow earthward. It
gazed and gazed on me. It spoke to my spirit : immeasurably
distant was the tone, yet so near, it whispered in my heart —
' My daughter, flee temptation ! '
' Mother, T will/
So I answered after I had waked from the trance-like
dream. It was yet night, but July nights are short : soon
after midnight dawn comes. 'It cannot be too early to
commence the task I have to fulfil/ thought I. I rose : I
was dressed ; for I had taken off nothing but my shoes. I
knew where to find in my drawers some linen, a locket, a
ring. In seeking these articles I encountered the beads of a
pearl necklace Mr. Bochester had forced me to accept a few
days ago. I left that ; it was not mine : it was the visionary
bride's, who had melted in air. The other articles I made
up in a parcel ; my purse, containing twenty shillings (it was
all I had), I put in my pocket : I tied on my straw bonnet,
pinned my shawl, took the parcel and my slippers, which I
would not put on yet, and stole from my room.
' Farewell, kind Mrs. Fairfax 1 ' I whispered, as I glided
past her door. ' Farewell, my darling Ad61e ! ' I said, as I
glanced towards the nursery. No though!) could be admitted
of entering to embrace her. I had to deceive a fine ear : for
aught I knew, it might now be listening.
I would have got past Mr. Bochester's chamber without
a pause ; but my heart momentarily stopping its beat at that
threshold, my foot was forced to stop also. No sleep was
there : the inmate was walking restlessly from wall to wall ;
and again and again he sighed while I listened. There was
a heaven — a temporary heaven — in this room for me, if I
390 JANE EYEE
chose : I had but to go in and to say — ' Mr. Eochester, I will
love you and live with you through life till death/ and a
fount of rapture would spring to my lips. I thought of
this.
That kind master, who could not sleep now, was waiting
with impatience for day. He would send for me in the
morning ; I should be gone. He would have me sought for :
vainly. He would feel himself forsaken ; his love rejected :
he would suffer ; perhaps grow desperate. I thought of this
too. My hand moved towards the lock ; I caught it back,
and glided on.
Drearily I wound my way downstairs : I knew what I
had to do, and I did it mechanically. I sought the key of
the side-door in the kitchen ; I sought, too, a phial of oil and
a feather ; I oiled the key and the lock. I got some water,
I got some bread : for perhaps I should have to walk far ;
and my strength, sorely shaken of late, must not break down.
All this I did without one sound. I opened the door, passed
out, shut it softly. Dim dawn glimmered in the yard. The
great gates were closed and locked ; but a wicket in one of
them was only latched. Through that I departed : it, too, I
shut ; and now I was out of Thornfield.
A mile off, beyond the fields, lay a road which stretched
in the contrary direction to Millcoto ; a road I had never
travelled, but often noticed, and wondered where it led:
thither I bent my steps. No reflection was to be allowed
now : not one glance was to be cast back ; not even one
forward. Not one thought was to be given either to the past
or the future. The first was a page so heavenly sweet — so
deadly sad — that to read one line of it would dissolve my
courage and break down my energy. The last was an awful
blank : something like the world when the deluge was gone
fay-
I skirted fields, and hedges, and lanes, till after sunrise. I
believe it was a lovely summer morning : I know my shoes,
which I had put on when I left the house, were soon wet
with dew. But I looked neither to rising sun, nor smiling
JANE EYEB 391
sky, nor wakening nature. He who is taken out to pass
through a fair scene to the scaffold thinks not of the flowers
that smile on his road, hut of the block and axe-edge ; of the
disseverment of bone and vein ; of the grave gaping at the
end : and I thought of drear flight and homeless wandering
— and, oh ! with agony I thought of what I left. I could
not help it. I thought of him now — in his room — watching
the sunrise; hoping I should soon come to say I would
stay with him, and be his. I longed to be his ; I panted to
return : it was not too late ; I could yet spare him the bitter
pang of bereavement. As yet my flight, I was sure, was undis-
covered. I could go back and be his comforter — his pride ;
his redeemer from misery; perhaps from ruin. Oh, that
fear of his self-abandonment — far worse than my abandon-
ment— how it goaded me ! It was a barbed arrow-
head in my breast ; it tore me when I tried to extract it ; it
sickened me when remembrance thrust it further in. Birds
began singing in brake and copse : birds were faithful to
their mates ; birds were emblems of love. What was I ?
In the midst of my pain of heart, and frantic effort of
principle, I abhorred myself. I had no solace from self
approbation : none even from self-respect. I had injured —
wounded — left my master. I was hateful in my own eyes.
Still I could not turn, nor retrace one step. God must have
led me on. As to my own will or conscience, impassioned
grief had trampled one and stifled the other. I was weeping
wildly as I walked along my solitary way : fast, fast I went,
like one delirious. A weakness, beginning inwardly, extend-
ing to the limbs, seized me, and I fell : I lay on the ground
some minutes, pressing my face to the wet turf. I had some
fear — or hope — that here I should die : but I was soon up ;
crawling forwards on my hands and knees, and then again
raised to my feet — as eager and as determined as ever to
reach the road.
When I got there I was forced to sit to rest me under
the hedge ; and while I sat, I heard wheels, and saw a coach
come on. I stood up and lifted my hand; it stopped. I
392 JANE EYEE
asked where it was going : the driver named a place a long
way off, and where I was sure Mr. Eochester had no con-
nections. I asked for what sum he would take me there ;
he said thirty shillings ; I answered I had but twenty ; well,
he would try to make it do. He further gave me leave to
get into the inside, as the vehicle was empty : I entered, was
shut in, and it rolled on its way.
Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt 1
May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart- wrung
tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to
Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in that
hour left my lips : for never may you, like me, dread to be
the instrument of evil to what you wholly love.
JANE EYfiE 393
CHAPTEE XXVIII
Two days are passed. It is a summer evening ; the coach-
man has set me down at a place called Whitcross ; he could
take me no farther for the sum I had given, and I was not
possessed of another shilling in the world. The coach is a
mile off by this time ; I am alone. At this moment I dis-
cover that I forgot to take my parcel out of the pocket of the
coach, where I had placed it for safety ; there it remains,
there it must remain ; and now, I am absolutely destitute.
Whitcross is no town, nor even a hamlet ; it is but a stone
pillar set up where four roads meet : white-washed, I suppose,
to be more obvious at a distance and in darkness. Four
arms spring from its summit: the nearest town to which
these point is, according to the inscription, distant ten miles ;
the farthest, above twenty. From the well-known names of
these towns I learn in what county I have lighted ; a north-
midland shire, dusk with moorland, ridged with mountain :
this I see. There are great moors behind and on each hand
of me ; there are waves of mountains far beyond that deep
valley at my feet. The population here must be thin, and 1
see no passengers on these roads : they stretch out east, west,
north, and south — white, broad, lonely ; they are all cut in
the moor, and the heather grows deep and wild to their very
verge. Yet a chance traveller might pass by ; and I wish
no eye to see me now : strangers would wonder what I am
doing, lingering here at the sign-post, evidently objectless
and lost. I might be questioned : I could give no answer
but what would sound incredible and excite suspicion. Not
a tie holds me to human society at this moment — not a
charm or hope calls me where my fellow-creatures are — none
394 JANE EYEE
that saw me would have a kind thought or a good wish for
me. I have no relative but the universal mother, Nature : I
will seek her breast and ask repose.
I struck straight into the heath ; I held on to a hollow
I saw deeply furrowing the brown moorside ; I waded knee-
deep in its dark growth ; I turned with its turnings, and
finding a moss-blackened granite crag in a hidden angle, I
sat down under it. High banks of moor were about me ; the
crag protected my head : the sky was over that.
Some time passed before I felt tranquil even here : I had
a vague dread that wild cattle might be near, or that some
sportsman or poacher might discover me. If a gust of wind
swept the waste, I looked up, fearing it was the rush of a bull ;
if a plover whistled, I imagined it a man. Finding my
apprehensions unfounded, however, and calmed by the deep
silence that reigned as evening declined at nightfall, I took
confidence. As yet I had not thought ; I had only listened,
watched, dreaded ; now I regained the faculty of reflection.
Wbat was I to do? Where to go? Oh, intolerable
questions, when I could do nothing and go nowhere ! — when
a long way must yet be measured by my weary, trembling
limbs, before I could reach human habitation — when cold
charity must be entreated before I could get a lodging:
reluctant sympathy importuned: almost certain repulse
incurred : before my tale could be listened to, or one of my
wants relieved 1
I touched the heath : it was dry, and yet warm with the
heat of the summer-day. I looked at the sky ; it was pure :
a kindly star twinkled just above the chasm ridge. The dew
fell, but with propitious softness; no breeze whispered.
Nature seemed to me benign and good ; I thought she loved
me, outcast as I was ; and I, who from man could anticipate
only mistrust, rejection, insult, clung to her with filial
fondness. To-night, at least, I would be her guest — as I
was her child : my mother would lodge me without money
and without price. I had one morsel of bread yet: the
remnant of a roll I had bought in a town we passed through
JANE EYBE 395
at noon with a stray penny — my last coin. I saw ripe bil-
berries gleaming here and there, like jet beads in the heath :
I gathered a handful and ate them with the bread. My
hunger, sharp before, was, if not satisfied, appeased by this
hermit's meal. I said my evening prayers at its conclusion,
and then chose my couch.
Beside the crag the heath was very deep : when I lay
down my feet were buried in it ; rising high on each side, it
left only a narrow space for the night-air to invade. I folded
my shawl double, and spread it over me for a coverlet ; a
low, mossy swell was my pillow. Thus lodged, I was not,
at least at the commencement of the night, cold.
My rest might have been blissful enough, only a sad heart
broke it. It plained of its gaping wounds, its inward bleed-
ing, its riven chords. It trembled for Mr. Eochester and his
doom : it bemoaned him with bitter pity ; it demanded him
with ceaseless longing : and, impotent as a bird with both
wings broken, it still quivered its shattered pinions in vain
attempts to seek him.
Worn out with this torture of thought, I rose to my
knees. Night was come, and her planets were risen : a safe,
still night ; too serene for the companionship of fear. We
know that God is everywhere ; but certainly we feel His
presence most when His works are on the grandest scale
spread before us : and it is in the unclouded night-sky, where
His worlds wheel their silent course, that we read clearest
His infinitude, His omnipotence, His omnipresence. I had
risen to my knees to pray for Mr. Eochester. Looking up,
I, with tear-dimmed eyes, saw the mighty Milky Way. Be-
membering what it was — what countless systems there swept
space like a soft trace of light — I felt the might and strength
of God. Sure was I of His efficiency to save what He had
made : convinced I grew that neither earth should perish
nor one of the souls it treasured. I turned my prayer to
thanksgiving : the Source of Life was also the Saviour of
spirits. Mr. Eochester was safe : he was God's, and by God
396 JANE EYES
would he be guarded. I again nestled to the breast of the
hill ; and ere long, in sleep, forgot sorrow.
But next day Want came to me, pale and bare. Long
after the little birds had left their nests; long after bees
had come in the sweet prime of day to gather the heath
honey before the dew was dried — when the long morning
shadows were curtailed, and the sun filled earth and sky — I
got up, and I looked round me.
What a still, hot, perfect day ! What a golden desert
this spreading moor 1 Everywhere sunshine. I wished I
could live in it and on it. I saw a lizard run over the crag ;
I saw a bee busy among the sweet bilberries. I would fain
at the moment have become bee or lizard, that I might have
found fitting nutriment, permanent shelter here. But I was
a human being, and had a human being's wants : I must not
linger where there was nothing to supply them. I rose ; I
looked back at the bed I had left. Hopeless of the future, I
wished but this — that my Maker had that night thought
good to require my soul of me while I slept ; and that this
weaiy frame, absolved by death from further conflict with
fate, had now but to decay quietly, and mingle in peace with
the soil of this wilderness. Life, however, was yet in my
possession; with all its requirements, and pains, and re-
sponsibilities. The burden must be carried ; the want pro-
vided for ; the suffering endured ; the responsibility fulfilled.
I set out.
Whitcross regained, I followed a road which led from the
sun, now fervent and high. By no other circumstance had
I will to decide my choice. I walked a long time, and when
I thought I had nearly done enough, and might conscientiously
yield to the fatigue that almost overpowered me — might relax
this forced action, and, sitting down on a stone I saw near,
submit resistlessly to the apathy that clogged heart and limb
— I heard a bell chime — a church bell.
I turned in the direction of the sound, and there, amongst
the romantic hills, whose changes and aspect I had ceased to
note an hour ago, I saw a hamlet and a spire. All the
JANE EYEE 397
valley at my right hand was full of pasture-fields, and corn-
fields, and wood; and a glittering stream ran zig-zag
through the varied shades of green, the mellowing grain, the
sombre wood-land, the clear and sunny lea. Eecalled by the
rumbling of wheels to the road before me, I saw a heavily-
laden waggon labouring up the hill ; and not far beyond were
two cows and their drover. Human life and human labour
were near. I must struggle on : strive to live and bend to toil
like the rest.
About two o'clock P.M. I entered the village. At the
bottom of its one street there was a little shop with some
cakes of bread in the window. I coveted a cake of bread.
With that refreshment I could perhaps regain a degree of
energy; without it, it would be difficult to proceed. The
wish to have some strength and some vigour returned to me
as soon as I was amongst my fellow-beings. I felt it would
be degrading to faint with hunger on the causeway of a
hamlet. Had I nothing about me I could offer in exchange
for one of these rolls? I considered. I had a small silk
handkerchief tied round my throat; I had my gloves. I
could hardly tell how men and women in extremities of
destitution proceeded. I did not know whether either of
these articles would be accepted : probably they would not ;
but I must try.
I entered the shop : a woman was there. Seeing a re-
spectably-dressed person, a lady as she supposed, she came
forward with civility. How could she serve me? I was
seized with shame : my tongue would not utter the request
I had prepared. I dared not offer her the half -worn gloves,
the creased handkerchief : besides, I felt it would be absurd.
I only begged permission to sit down a moment, as I was
tired. Disappointed in the expectation of a customer, she
coolly acceded to my request. She pointed to a seat ; I sank
into it. I felt sorely urged to weep ; but conscious how un-
seasonable such a manifestation would be, I restrained it.
Soon I asked her, ' if there were any dressmaker or plain-
work-woman in the village ? '
398 JANE EYBE
' Yes ; two or three. Quite as many as there was em-
ployment for.1
I reflected. I was driven to the point now. I was
brought face to face with Necessity. I stood in the position
of one without a resource : without a friend ; without a coin.
I must do something. What ? I must apply somewhere.
Where?
' Did she know of any place in the neighbourhood where
a servant was wanted ? '
1 Nay ; she couldn't say/
' What was the chief trade in this place ? What did most
of the people do ? '
' Some were farm labourers ; a good deal worked at Mr.
Oliver's needle-factory, and at the foundry.'
1 Did Mr. Oliver employ women ? '
' Nay ; it was men's work.1
I And what do the women do ? '
I 1 knawn't,' was the answer. ' Some does one thing,
and some another. Poor folk mun get on as they can/
She seemed to be tired of my questions : and, indeed,
what claim had I to importune her ? A neighbour or two
came in ; my chair was evidently wanted. I took leave.
I passed up the street, looking as I went at all the houses
to the right hand and to the left : but I could discover no
pretext, nor see an inducement, to enter any. I rambled
round the hamlet, going sometimes to a little distance and
returning again, for an hour or more. Much exhausted, and
suffering greatly now for want of food, I turned aside into a
lane and sat down under the hedge. Ere many minutes had
elapsed I was again on my feet, however, and again search-
ing for something — a resource, or at least an informant. A
pretty little house stood at the top of the lane, with a garden
before it; exquisitely neat, and brilliantly blooming. I
stopped at it. What business had I to approach the white
door or touch the glittering knocker ? In what way could it
possibly be the interest of the inhabitants of that dwelling to
serve me ? Yet I drew near and knocked. A mild-looking,
JANE EYEE 399
cleanly-attired young woman opened the door. In such a
voice as might be expected from a hopeless heart and fainting
frame — a voice wretchedly low and faltering — I asked if a
servant was wanted here ?
4 No,1 said she ; ' we do not keep a servant.'
' Can you tell me where I could get employment of any
kind?1 I continued. 'I am a stranger, without acquaint-
ance, in this place. I want some work : no matter what/
But it was not her business to think for me, or to seek a
place for me : besides, in her eyes, how doubtful must have
appeared my character, position, tale. She shook her head ;
she ' was sorry she could give me no information/ and the
white door closed, quite gently and civilly : but it shut me
out. If she had held it open a little longer, I believe I
should have begged a piece of bread ; for I was now brought
low.
I could not bear to return to the sordid village ; where,
besides, no prospect of aid was visible. I should have longed
rather to deviate to a wood I saw not far off, which appeared
in its thick shade to offer inviting shelter ; but I was so sick,
so weak, so gnawed with nature's cravings, instinct kept me
roaming round abodes where there was a chance of food.
Solitude would be no solitude — rest no rest — while the
vulture, hunger, thus sank beak and talons in my side.
I drew near houses ; I left them, and came back again,
and again I wandered away : always repelled by the con-
sciousness of having no claim to ask — no right to expect
interest in my isolated lot. Meantime the afternoon
advanced, while I thus wandered about like a lost and
starving dog. In crossing a field I saw the church spire
before me: I hastened towards it. Near the churchyard,
and in the middle of a garden, stood a well-built though
small house, which I had no doubt was the parsonage. I
remembered that strangers who arrive at a place where they
have no friends, and who want employment, sometimes
apply to the clergyman for introduction and aid. It is the
clergyman's function to help — at least with advice — those
400 JANE EYRE
who wished to help themselves. I seemed to have some-
thing like a right to seek counsel here. Renewing, then, my
courage, and gathering my feeble remains of strength, I
pushed on. I reached the house, and knocked at the
kitchen-door. An old woman opened : I asked was this the
parsonage ?
• Yes/
1 Was the clergyman in ? '
'No/
1 Would he be in soon ? '
1 No, he was gone from home/
' To a distance ? '
'Not so far — happen three mile. He had been called
away by the sudden death of his father : he was at Marsh
End now, and would very likely stay there a fortnight
longer/
1 Was there any lady of the house ? f
1 Nay, there was naught but her, and she was house-
keeper ; ' and of her, reader, I could not bear to ask the
relief for want of which I was sinking ; I could not yet beg ;
and again I crawled away.
Once more I took off my handkerchief — once more I
thought of the cakes of bread in the little shop. Oh, for
but a crust ! for but one mouthful to allay the pang of
famine ! Instinctively I turned my face again to the village ;
I found the shop again, and I went in ; and though others
were there besides the woman, I ventured the request :
1 Would she give me a roll for this handkerchief ? '
She looked at me with evident suspicion : ' Nay, khe
aever sold stuff i' that way/
Almost desperate, I asked for half a cake ; she again
refused. 'How could she tell where I had got the hand-
kerchief ? ' she said.
1 Would she take my gloves ? '
' No ! what could she do with them ? '
Eeader, it is not pleasant to dwell on these details. Some
Bay there is enjoyment in looking back to painful experience
JANE BYEE 401
past ; but at this day I can scarcely bear to review the times
to which I allude : the moral degradation, blent with the
physical suffering, form too distressing a recollection ever to
be willingly dwelt on. I blamed none of those who repulsed
me. I felt it was what was to be expected, and what could
not be helped : an ordinary beggar is frequently an object of
suspicion ; a well-dressed beggar inevitably so. To be sure
what I begged was employment : but whose business was it
to provide me with employment? Not, certainly, that of
persons who saw me then for the first time, and who knew
nothing about my character. And as to the woman who
would not take my handkerchief in exchange for her bread,
why, she was right ; if the offer appeared to her sinister, or
the exchange unprofitable. Let me condense now. I am
sick of the subject.
A little before dark I passed a farm-house, at the open
door of which the farmer was sitting, eating his supper of
bread and cheese ; I stopped, and said : — ' Will you give me
a piece of bread ? for I am very hungry/ He cast on me a
glance of surprise ; but without answering he cut a thick slice
from his loaf, and gave it to me. I imagine he did not think
I was a beggar, but only an eccentric sort of lady, who had
taken a fancy to his brown loaf. As soon as I was out of
sight of his house, I sat down and ate it.
I could not hope to get a lodging under a roof, and
sought it in the wood I have before alluded to. But my
night was wretched, my rest broken : the ground was damp,
the air cold : besides intruders passed near me more than
once, and I had again and again to change my quarters : no
sense of safety or tranquillity befriended me. Towards
morning it rained ; the whole of the following day was wet.
Do not ask me, reader, to give a minute account of that day ;
as before, I sought work; as before, I was repulsed; as
before, I starved ; but once did food pass my lips. At the
door of a cottage I saw a little girl about to throw a mess of
cold porridge into a pig trough. ' Will you give me that ? *
I asked.
402 JANE EYEE
She stared at me. ' Mother 1 ' she exclaimed ; ' there is
a woman wants me to give her these porridge.1
' Well, lass/ replied a voice within, ' give it her if she's a
beggar. T' pig doesn't want it.1
The girl emptied the stiffened mould into my hand, and I
devoured it ravenously.
As the wet twilight deepened, I stopped in a solitary
bridle-path, which I had been pursuing an hour or more.
' My strength is quite failing me/ I said, in soliloquy.
'I feel I cannot go much further. Shall I be an outcast
again this night ? While the rain descends so, must I lay
my head on the cold, drenched ground ? I fear I cannot do
otherwise : for who will receive me ? But it will be very
dreadful : with this feeling of hunger, faintness, chill, and
this sense of desolation — this total prostration of hope. In
all likelihood, though, I should die before morning. And
why cannot I reconcile myself to the prospect of death?
Why do I struggle to retain a valueless life? Because I
know, or believe, Mr. Eochester is still living : and then, to
die of want and cold, is a fate to which nature cannot
submit passively. Oh, Providence ! sustain me a little
longer ! Aid — direct me ! '
My glazed eye wandered over the dim and misty land-
scape. I saw I had strayed far from the village : it was
quite out of sight. The very cultivation surrounding it had
disappeared. I had, by cross-ways and by-paths, once more
drawn near the tract of moorland ; and now, only a few
fields, almost as wild and unproductive as the heath from
which they were scarcely reclaimed, lay between me and the
dusky hill.
' Well, I would rather die yonder than in a street, or on
a frequented road/ I reflected. ' And far better that crows
and ravens — if any ravens there be in these regions — should
pick my flesh from my bones, than that they should be prisoned
in a workhouse coffin and moulder in a pauper's grave/
To the hill, then, I turned. I reached it. It remained
now only to find a hollow where I could lie down, and feel
JANE EYEE 403
at least hidden, if not secure: but all the surface of the
waste looked level. It showed no variation but of tint ;
green, where rush and moss overgrew the marshes ; black,
where the dry soil bore only heath. Dark as it was getting,
I could still see these changes ; though but as mere alterna-
tions of light and shade : for colour had faded with the day-
light.
My eye still roved over the sullen swell, and along the
moor-edge, vanishing amidst the wildest scenery ; when at
one dim point, far in among the marshes and the ridges, a
light sprang up. 'That is an ignis fatuus,' was my first
thought; and I expected it would soon vanish. It burnt on,
however, quite steadily ; neither receding nor advancing.
' Is it, then, a bonfire just kindled ? ' I questioned. I
watched to see whether it would spread : but no ; as it did
not diminish, so it did not enlarge. ' It may be a candle in
a house/ 1 then conjectured : ' but if so, I can never reach
it. It is much too far away : and were it within a yard of
me, what would it avail ? I should but knock at the door
to have it shut in my face/
And I sank down where I stood, and hid my face against
the ground. I lay still a while : the night-wind swept over
the hill and over me, and died moaning in the distance ; the
rain fell fast, wetting me afresh to the skin. Could I but
have stiffened to the still frost — the friendly numbness of
death — it might have pelted on : I should not have felt it ;
but my yet living flesh shuddered to its chilling influence.
I rose ere long.
The light was yet there : shining dim, but constant,
through the rain. I tried to walk again : I dragged my
exhausted limbs slowly towards it. It led me aslant over
the hill, through a wide bog; which would have been
impassable in winter, and was splashy and shaking even
now, in the height of summer. Here I fell twice ; but as
often I rose and rallied my faculties. This light was my
forlorn hope : I must gain it.
Having crossed the marsh, I saw a trace of white over
404 JANE EYEE
the moor. I approached it ; it was a road or a track : it led
straight up to the light, which now beamed from a sort of
knoll, amidst a clump of trees — nrs, apparently, from what
I could distinguish of the character of their forms and foliage
through the gloom. My star vanished as I drew near:
some obstacle had intervened between me and it. I put out
iny hand to feel the dark mass before me ; I discriminated
the rough stones of a low wall — above it, something like
palisades, and within, a high and prickly hedge. I groped on.
Again a whitish object gleamed before me : it was a gate — a
wicket ; it moved on its hinges as I touched it. On each
side stood a sable bush — holly or yew.
Entering the gate and passing the shrubs, the silhouette
of a house rose to view ; black, low, and rather long ; but
the guiding light shone nowhere. All was obscurity. Were
the inmates retired to rest? I feared it must be so. In
seeking the door, I turnod an angle: there shot out the
friendly gleam again, from the lozenged panes of a very
small latticed window, within a foot of the ground ; made
still smaller by the growth of ivy or some other creeping
plant, whose leaves clustered thick over the portion of the
house wall in which it was set. The aperture was so
screened and narrow that curtain or shutter had been
deemed unnecessary ; and when I stooped down and put
aside the spray of foliage shooting over it, I could see all
within. I could see clearly a room with a sanded floor,
clean scoured; a dresser of walnut, with pewter plates
ranged in rows, reflecting the redness and radiance of a
glowing peat-fire. I could see a clock, a white deal table,
some chairs. The candle, whose ray had been my beacon,
burnt on the table; and by its light an elderly woman,
somewhat rough-looking, but scrupulously clean, like all
about her, was knitting a stocking.
I noticed these objects cursorily only — in them there was
nothing extraordinary. A group of more interest appeared
near the hearth, sitting still amidst the rosy peace and
warmth suffusing it. Two young, graceful women — ladies
JANE EYEE 405
in every point — sat, one in a low rocking-chair, the other on
a lower stool; both wore deep mourning of crape and
bombazeen, which sombre garb singularly set off very fair
necks and faces : a large old pointer dog rested its massive
head on the knee of one girl — in the lap of the other was
cushioned a black cat.
A strange place was this humble kitchen for such
occupants! Who were they? They could not be the
daughters of the elderly person at the table ; for she looked
like a rustic, and they were all delicacy and cultivation. I
had nowhere seen such faces as theirs : and yet, as I gazed on
them, I seemed intimate with every lineament. I cannot
call them handsome — they were too pale and grave for the
word : as they each bent over a book, they looked thoughtful
almost to severity. A stand between them supported a second
candle and two great volumes, to which they frequently
referred ; comparing them seemingly with the smaller books
they held in their hands, like people consulting a dictionary
to aid them in the task of translation. This scene was as
silent as if all the figures had been shadows, and the fire-lit
apartment a picture : so hushed was it, I could hear the
cinders fall from the grate, the clock tick in its obscure
corner ; and I even fancied I could distinguish the click-click
of the woman's knitting-needles. When, therefore, a voice
broke the strange stillness at last, it was audible enough to
me.
' Listen, Diana/ said one of the absorbed students ;
1 Franz and old Daniel are together in the night-time, and
Franz is telling a dream from which he has awakened in
terror — listen 1 ' And in a low voice she read something, of
which not one word was intelligible to me ; for it was in an
unknown tongue — neither French nor Latin. Whether it
were Greek or German I could not tell.
'That is strong,' she said, when she had finished: 'I
relish it.' The other girl, who had lifted her head to listen
to her sister, repeated, while she gazed at the fire, a line of
what had been read. At a later day, I knew the language
406 JANE EYEE
and the book ; therefore I will here quote the line : though
when I first heard it it was only like a stroke on sounding
brass to me-^-conveying no meaning : — ' " Da trat hervor
Einer, anzusehen wie die Sternen Nacht." Good! good!'
she exclaimed, while her dark and deep eye sparkled.
1 There you have a dim and mighty archangel fitly set before
you ! The line is worth a hundred pages of fustian. " Ich
wage die Gedanken in der Schale meines Zornes und die
Werke mit dem Gewichte meines Grimms." I like it ! '
Both were again silent.
'Is there ony country where they talk i' that way?'
asked the old woman, looking up from her knitting.
' Yes, Hannah — a far larger country than England ;
where they talk in no other way/
1 Well, for sure case, I knawn't how they can understand
t' one t' other : and if either o' ye went there, ye could tell
what they said, I guess ? '
' We could probably tell something of what they said,
but not all — for we are not as clever as you think us,
Hannah. We don't speak German, and we cannot read it
without a dictionary to help us.'
1 And what good does it do you ? '
' We mean to teach it some time — or at least the elements,
as they say ; and then we shall get more money than we do
now.'
1 Varry like : but give ower studying : ye've done enough
for to-night.'
' I think we have : at least I'm tired. Mary, are you ? '
' Mortally : after all, it's tough work fagging away at a
language with no master but a lexicon.'
'It is : especially such a language as this crabbed but
glorious Deutsch. I wonder when St. John will come
home.'
' Surely he will not be long now : it is just ten ' (looking
at a little gold watch she drew from her girdle). ' It rains
fast. Hannah, will you have the goodness to look at the
fire in the parlour ? '
JANE EYBE 407
The woman rose : she opened a door, through which I
dimly saw a passage : soon I heard her stir a fire in an inner
room ; she presently came hack.
1 Ah, childer 1 ' said she, ' it fair troubles me to go into
yond' room now : it looks so lonesome wif the chair empty
and set back in a corner.'
She wiped her eyes with her apron : the two girls, grave
before, looked sad now.
'But he is in a better place/ continued Hannah: 'we
shouldn't wish him here again. And then, nobody need to
have a quieter death nor he had/
' You say he never mentioned us ? ' inquired one of the
ladies.
' He hadn't time, bairn : he was gone in a minute — was
your father. He had been a bit ailing like the day before,
but naught to signify ; and when Mr. St. John asked if he
would like either o' ye to be sent for, he fair laughed at him.
He began again with a bit of a heaviness in his head the
next day — that is, a fortnight sin' — and he went to sleep and
niver wakened : he wor' a 'most stark when your brother
went into t' chamber and fand him. Ah, childer ! that's tf
last o' t' old stock — for ye and Mr. St. John is like of a
different soart to them 'at's gone ; for all your mother wor
mich i* your way; and a'most as book-learned. She wor
the pictur' o' ye, Mary : Diana is more like your father/
I thought them so similar I could not tell where the old
servant (for such I now concluded her to be) saw the
difference. Both were fair complexioned and slenderly
made ; both possessed faces full of distinction and intelli-
gence. One, to be sure, had hair a shade darker than the
other, and there was a difference in their style of wearing it :
Mary's pale brown locks were parted and braided smooth ;
Diana's duskier tresses covered her neck with thick cuils.
The clock struck ten.
1 Ye'll want your supper, I am sure/ observed Hannah ;
and so will Mr. St. John when he comes in.'
And she proceeded to prepare the meal. The ladies rose ;
408 JANE BYEB
they seemed about to withdraw to the parlour. Till this
moment I had been so intent on watching them, their
appearance and conversation had excited in me so keen an
interest, I had half -forgotten my own wretched position :
now it recurred to me. More desolate, more desperate than
ever, it seemed from contrast. And how impossible did it
appear to touch the inmates of this house with concern on
my behalf ; to make them believe in the truth of my wants
and woes — to induce them to vouchsafe a rest for my
wanderings 1 As I groped out the door, and knocked at it
hesitatingly, I felt that last idea to be a mere chimera.
Hannah opened.
' What do you want ? ' she inquired, in a voice of sur-
prise, as she surveyed me by the light of the candle she held.
1 May I speak to your mistresses ? ' I said.
1 You had better tell me what you have to say to them.
Where do you come from ? '
'I am a stranger.'
• What is your business here at this hour ? '
'I want a night's shelter in an outhouse or anywhere,
and a morsel of bread to eat/
Distrust, the very feeling I dreaded, appeared in Hannah's
face. ' I'll give you a piece of bread,' she said, after a pause ;
' but we can't take in a vagrant to lodge. It isn't likely/
1 Do let me speak to your mistresses.'
1 No ; not I. What can they do for you ? You should
not be roving about now ; it looks very ill.'
I But where shall I go if you drive me away ? What shall
I do?'
' Oh, I'll warrant you know where to go, and what to
do. Mind you don't do wrong, that's all. Here is a penny ;
now go '
' A penny cannot feed me, and I have no strength to go
farther. Don't shut the door : — oh, don't, for God's sake 1 '
I 1 must ; the rain is driving in '
Tell the young ladies. — Let me see them '
JANE EYEE 409
' Indeed, I will not. You are not what you ought to be,
or you wouldn't make such a noise. Move off.'
' But I must die if I am turned away.'
' Not you. I'm f ear'd you have some ill plans agate, that
bring you about folk's houses at this time o' night. If
you've any followers — housebreakers or such like — anywhere
near, you may tell them we are not by ourselves in the house ;
we have a gentleman, and dogs, and guns.' Here the honest
but inflexible servant clapped the door to and bolted it within.
This was the climax. A pang of exquisite suffering — a
throe of true despair — rent and heaved my heart. Worn out,
indeed, I was ; not another step could I stir. I sank on the
wet door-step : I groaned — I wrung my hands — I wept in
utter anguish. Oh, this spectre of death ! Oh, this last
hour, approaching in such horror ! Alas, this isolation — this
banishment from my kind ! Not only the anchor of home,
but the footing of fortitude was gone — at least for a moment :
but the last I soon endeavoured to regain.
1 1 can but die,' I said, ' and I believe in God. Let me
try to wait His will in silence.'
These words I not only thought, but uttered ; and thrust-
ing back all my misery into my heart, I made an effort to
compel it to remain there — dumb and still.
'All men must die,' said a voice quite close at hand;
' but all are not condemned to meet a lingering and prema-
ture doom, such as yours would be if you perished here of
want.'
1 Who or what speaks ? ' I asked, terrified at the unex-
pected sound, and incapable now of deriving from any
occurrence a hope of aid. A form was near — what form the
pitch-dark night and my enfeebled vision prevented me from
distinguishing. With a loud long knock the new comer
appealed to the door.
' Is it you, Mr. St. John ? ' cried Hannah.
' Yes — yes ; open quickly.'
' Well, how wet and cold you must be, such a wild night
as it is 1 Gome in — your sisters are quite uneasy about you,
410 JANE EYEE
and I believe there are bad folks about. There has been a
beggar-woman — I declare she is not gone yet ! — laid down
there. Get up ! for shame 1 Move off, I say ! '
' Hush, Hannah ! I have a word to say to the woman.
You have done your duty in excluding, now let me do mine
in admitting her. I was near, and listened to both you and
her. I think this is a peculiar case— I must at least examine
into it. Young woman, rise, and pass before me into the
house/
With difficulty I obeyed him. Presently I stood within
that clean, bright kitchen — on the very hearth — trembling,
sickening ; conscious of an aspect in the last degree ghastly,
wild, and weather-beaten. The two ladies, their brother, Mr.
St. John, the old servant, were all gazing at me.
' St. John, who is it ? ' I heard one ask.
1 1 cannot tell : I found her at the door/ was the reply.
' She does look white/ said Hannah.
' As white as clay or death/ was responded. * She will
fall : let her sit/
And indeed my head swam : I dropped ; but a chair
received me. I still possessed my senses ; though just now
I could not speak.
' Perhaps a little water would restore her. Hannah, fetch
some. But she is worn to nothing. How very thin, and
how very bloodless ! '
1 A mere spectre 1 '
1 Is she ill, or only famished ? '
* Famished, I think. Hannah, is that milk ? Give it me,
and a piece of bread/
Diana (I knew her by the long curls which I saw drooping
between me and the fire as she bent over me) broke some
bread, dipped it in milk, and put it to my lips. Her face was
near mine : I saw there was pity in it, and I felt sympathy in
her hurried breathing. In her simple words, too, the same
balm-like emotion spoke : ' Try to eat/
'Yes — try/ repeated Mary gently; and Mary's hand
JANE EYEE 411
removed my sodden bonnet and lifted my head. I tasted
what they offered me : feebly at first, eagerly soon.
' Not too much at first — restrain her,' said the brother ;
1 she has had enough/ And he withdrew the cup of milk
and the plate of bread.
1 A little more, St. John — look at the avidity in her
eyes.'
' No more at present, sister. Try if she can speak now —
ask her her name.1
I felt I could speak, and I answered — ' My name is
Jane Elliott/ Anxious as ever to avoid discovery, I had
before resolved to assume an alias.
1 And where do you live ? Where are your friends ? '
I w«is silent.
' Can we send for any one you know ? '
I shook my head.
1 What account can you give of yourself ? '
Somehow, now that I had once crossed the threshold
of this house, and once was brought face to face with its
owners, I felt no longer outcast, vagrant, and disowned
by the wide world. I dared to put off the mendicant — to
resume my natural manner and character. I began once
more to know myself ; and when Mr. St. John demanded an
account — which at present I was far too weak to render— I
said after a brief pause, — ' Sir, I can give you no details
to-night/
' But what, then/ said he, ' do you expect me to do for
you?1
' Nothing/ I replied. My strength sufficed for but short
answers. Diana took the word : —
1 Do you mean/ she asked, ' that we have now given you
what aid you require ? and that we may dismiss you to the
moor and the rainy night ? '
I looked at her. She had, I thought, a remarkable
countenance ; instinct both with power and goodness. I
took sudden courage. Answering her compassionate gaze
with a smile, I said : ' I will trust you. If I were a master-
412 JANE EYEB
less and straj dog, I know that you would not turn me from
your hearth to-night : as it is, I really have no fear. Do
with me and for me as you like ; but excuse me from much
discourse — my breath is short— I feel a spasm when I speak/
All three surveyed me, and all three were silent.
1 Hannah,1 said Mr. St. John at last, ' let her sit there at
present, and ask her no questions ; in ten minutes more,
give her the remainder of that milk and bread. Mary and
Diana, let us go into the parlour and talk the matter over/
They withdrew. Very soon one of the ladies returned—
I could not tell which. A kind of pleasant stupor was steal-
ing over me as I sat by the genial fire. In an undertone she
gave some directions to Hannah. Ere long, with the servant's
aid, I contrived to mount a staircase ; my dripping clothes
were removed; soon a warm, dry bed received me. I
thanked God -experienced amidst unutterable exhaustion a
glow of grateful joy — and slept.
JANE EYRE 413
CHAPTEE XXIX
THE recollection of about three days and nights succeeding
this is very dim in my mind. I can recall some sensations
felt in that interval ; but few thoughts framed, and no
actions performed. I knew I was in a small room, and in a
narrow bed. To that bed I seemed to have grown ; I lay on
it motionless as a stone ; and to have torn me from it would
have been almost to kill me. I took no note of the lapse of
time — of the change from morning to noon, from noon to
evening. I observed when any one entered or left the
apartment ; I could even tell who they were ; I could under-
stand what was said when the speaker stood near to me ;
but I could not answer ; to open my lips or move my limbs
was equally impossible. Hannah, the servant, was my most
frequent visitor. Her coming disturbed me. I had a feeling
that she wished me away : that she did not understand me
or my circumstances : that she was prejudiced against me.
Diana and Mary appeared in the chamber once or twice a
day. They would whisper sentences of this sort at my
bedside : —
1 It is very well we took her in.'
' Yes ; she would certainly have been found dead at the
door in the morning, had she been left out all night. I
wonder what she has gone through ? '
1 Strange hardships, I imagine — poor, emaciated, pallid
wanderer ! '
1 She is not an uneducated person, I should think, by her
manner of speaking ; her accent was quite pure ; and the
clothes she took off, though splashed and wet, were little
worn and fine/
414 JANE EYBB
' She has a peculiar face ; fleshless and haggard as it is,
I rather like it ; and when in good health and animated, I
can fancy her physiognomy would be agreeable.'
Never once in their dialogues did I hear a syllable of
regret at the hospitality they had extended to me; or of
suspicion of, or aversion to, myself. I was comforted.
Mr. St. John came but once : he looked at me, and said
my state of lethargy was the result of reaction from excessive
and protracted fatigue. He pronounced it needless to send
for a doctor : nature, he was sure, would manage best left
to herself. He said every nerve had been overstrained in
some way, and the whole system must sleep torpid awhile.
There was no disease. He imagined my recovery would be
rapid enough when once commenced. These opinions he
delivered in a few words, in a quiet, low voice ; and added,
after a pause, in the tone of a man little accustomed lo
expansive comment, 'rather an unusual physiognomy;
certainly not indicative of vulgarity or degradation.'
1 Far otherwise,' responded Diana. ' To speak truth, St.
John, my heart rather warms to the poor little soul. I wish
we may be able to benefit her permanently.'
1 That is hardly likely,' was the reply. ' You will find
she is some young lady who has had a misunderstanding
with her friends and has probably injudiciously left them.
We may, perhaps, succeed in restoring her to them, if she is
not obstinate : but I trace lines of force in her face which
make me sceptical of her tractability.' He stood considering
me some minutes ; then added, ' She looks sensible, but not
at all handsome.'
' She is so ill, St. John.'
' 111 or well, she would always be. plain. The grace and
harmony of beauty are quite wanting in those features.'
On the third day I was better ; on the fourth, I could
speak, move, rise in bed, and turn. Hannah had brought
me some gruel and dry toast, about, as I supposed, the
dinner hour. I had eaten with relish : the food was good —
JANE EYEB 415
void of the feverish flavour which had hitherto poisoned
what I had swallowed. When she left me, I felt compara-
tively strong and revived ; ere long satiety of repose and
desire for action stirred me. I wished to rise ; but what
could I put on ? Only my damp and bemired apparel, in
which I had slept on the ground and fallen in the marsh. I
felt ashamed to appear before my benefactors so clad. I
was spared the humiliation.
On a chair by the bedside were all my own things, clean
and dry. My black silk frock hung against the wall. The
traces of the bog were removed from it ; the creases left by
the wet smoothed out : it was quite decent. My very shoes
and stockings were purified and rendered presentable. There
were the means of washing in the room, and a comb and brush
to smooth my hair. After a weary process, and resting every
five minutes, I succeeded in dressing myself. My clothes hung
loose on me, for I was much wasted ; but I covered deficien-
cies with a shawl, and once more, clean and respectable-
looking — no speck of the dirt, no trace of the disorder I so
hated, and which seemed so to degrade me, left— I crept
down a stone staircase with the aid of the banisters to a
narrow low passage, and found my way presently to the
kitchen.
It was full of the fragrance of new bread and the warmth
of a generous fire. Hannah was baking. Prejudices, it is
well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart
whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education :
they grow there, firm as weeds among stones. Hannah had
been cold and stiff, indeed, at the first : latterly she had
begun to relent a little ; and when she saw me come in tidy
and well-dressed, she even smiled.
1 What, you have got up ? ' she said. ' You are better,
then. You may sit you down in my chair on the hearth-
stone, if you will/
She pointed to the rocking-chair : I took it. She bustled
about, examining me every now and then with the corner of
416 JANE EYEE
her eye. Turning to me, as she took some loaves from the
oven, she asked, bluntly — ' Did you ever go a-begging afore
you came here ? '
I was indignant for a moment; but remembering that
anger was out of the question, and that I had indeed appeared
as a beggar to her, I answered quietly, but still not without
a certain marked firmness — ' You are mistaken in supposing
me a beggar. I am no beggar : any more than yourself or
your young ladies.'
After a pause, she said, 'I dunnut understand that:
you've like no house, nor no brass, I guess ? '
1 The want of house or brass (by which I suppose you
mean money) does not make a beggar in your sense of the
word.'
' Are you book-learned ? ' she inquired, presently.
' Yes, very.'
1 But you've never been to a boarding-school ! '
* I was at a boarding-school eight years.'
She opened her eyes wide.
* Whatever cannot ye keep yourself for, then ? '
' I have kept myself ; and, I trust, shall keep myself
again. What are you going to do with these gooseberries ? '
I inquired, as she brought out a basket of the fruit.
1 Mak'em into pies.'
' Give them to me and I'll pick them.'
1 Nay ; I dunnut want ye to do nought.'
4 But I must do something. Let me have them.'
She consented ; and she even brought me a clean towel
to spread over my dress, * lest,' as she said, ' I should mucky
it.'
' Ye've not been used to sarvanl's wark, I see by your
hands,' she remarked. ' Happen ye've been a dressmaker.'
' No, you are wrong. And, now, never mind what I have
been : don't trouble your head further about me ; but tell
me the name of the house where we are.'
' Some calls it Marsh End, and some calls it Moor
House.'
JANE EYEE 417
'And the gentleman who lives here is called Mr. St.
John?1
' Nay ; he doesn't live here : he is only staying a while.
When he is at home, he is in his own parish at Morton.'
' That village a few miles off ? '
' Aye/
'And what is he?1
' He is a parson.'
I remembered the answer of the old housekeeper at the
parsonage, when I had asked to see the clergyman. ' This,
then, was his father's residence ? '
' Aye ; old Mr. Bivers lived here, and his father, and
grandfather, and gurt (groat) grandfather afore him.'
'The name, then, of that gentleman is Mr. St. John
Bivers?'
' Aye ; St. John is like his kirstened name.'
' And his sisters are called Diana and Mary Bivers ? '
* Yes/
'Their father is dead?'
' Dead three weeks sin' of a stroke/
' They have no mother ? '
' The mistress has been dead this mony a year '
' Have you lived with the family long ? '
' I've lived here thirty year. I nursed them all three/
' That proves you must have been an honest and faithful
servant. I will say so much for you, though you have had the
incivility to call me a beggar/
She again regarded me with a surprised stare. ' I believe,'
she said, ' I was quite mista'en in my thoughts of you : but
there is so mony cheats goes about, you mun forgie me/
' And though,' I continued, rather severely, ' you wished
to turn me from the door, on a night when you should not
have shut out a dog/
' Well, it was hard : but what can a body do ? I thought
more o' th' childer nor of mysel' : poor things ! They've
like nobody to tak' care on 'em but me. I'm like to look
sharpish/
418 JANE EYEE
I maintained a grave silence for some minutes.
* You munnut think too hardly of me/ she again remarked.
1 But I do think hardly of you/ I said ; ' and I'll tell you
why — not so much because you refused to give me shelter,
or regarded me as an impostor, as because you just now
made it a species of reproach that I had no " brass," and no
house. Some of the best people that ever lived have been as
destitute as I am ; and if you are a Christian, you ought not
to consider poverty a crime/
1 No more I ought/ said she : ' Mr. St. John tells me so
too ; and I see I wor wrang — but I've clear a different notion
on you now to what I had. You look a raight down dacent
little crater/
1 That will do — I forgive you now. Shake hands/
She put her floury and horny hand into mine ; another
and heartier smile illumined her rough face : and from that
moment we were friends.
Hannah was evidently fond of talking. While I picked
the fruit- and she made the paste for the pics, she proceeded
to give me sundry details about her deceased master and
mistress, and ' the childer/ as she called the young people.
Old Mr. Eivers, she said, was a plain man enough ; but
a gentleman, and of as ancient a family as could be found.
Marsh End had belonged to the Eivers' ever since it was a
house : and it was, she affirmed, ' aboon two hundred year
old — for all it looked but a small, humble place, naught to
compare wi' Mr. Oliver's grand hall down i' Morton Vale.
But she could remember Bill Oliver's father a journeyman
needle-maker ; and th' Eivers' wor gentry i' thi' owd days
o* th' Henrys, as onybody might see by looking into th1
registers i' Morton Church vestry/ Still, she allowed, ' the
owdmaister was like other folk — naught mich out o' t' common
way: stark mad o' shooting, and farming, and sich like/
The mistress was different. She was a great reader, and
studied a deal ; and the * bairns ' had taken after her. There
was nothing like them in these parts, nor ever had been ;
they had liked learning, all three, almost from the time they
JANE EYBE 419
could speak ; and they had always been ' of a mak' of their
own.1 Mr. St. John, when he grew up, would go to college
and he a parson ; and the girls, as soon as they left school,
would seek places as governesses : for they had told her their
father had some years ago lost a great deal of money by a man
he had trusted turning bankrupt ; and as he was now not rich
enough to give them fortunes, they must provide for them-
selves. They had lived very little at home for a long while,
and were only come now to stay a few weeks on account of
their father's death : but they did so like Marsh End and
Morton, and all these moors and hills about. They had
been in London, and many other grand towns ; but they
always said there was no place like home ; and then they
were so agreeable with each other — never fell out nor
' threaped/ She did not know where thers was such a
family for being united.
Having finished my task of gooseberry picking, I asked
where the two ladies and their brother were now.
' Gone over to Morton for a walk ; but they would be
back in half an hour to tea.1
They returned within the time Hannah had allotted them :
they entered by the kitchen door. Mr. St. John, when he
saw me, merely bowed and passed through ; the two ladies
stopped : Mary, in a few words, kindly and calmly expressed
the pleasure she felt in seeing me well enough to be able to
come down; Diana took my hand : she shook her head at me.
' You should have waited for my leave to descend,1 she
said. ' You still look very pale — and so thin 1 Poor child ! —
poor girl ! '
Diana had a voice toned, to my ear, like the cooing of a
dove. She possessed eyes whose gaze I delighted to
encounter. Her whole face seemed to me full of charm.
Mary's countenance was equally intelligent— her features
equally pretty : but her expression was more reserved ; and
her manners, though gentle, more distant. Diana looked
and spoke with a certain authority : she had a will, evidently.
It was my nature to feel pleasure in yielding to an authority
420 JANE EYBE
supported like hers : and to bend, where my conscience and
self-respect permitted, to an active will.
1 And what business have you here ? ' she continued. ' It
is not your place. Mary and I sit in the kitchen sometimes,
because at home we like to be free, even to licence — but you
are a visitor, and must go into the parlour.'
' I am very well here.'
'Not at all — with Hannah bustling about and covering
you with flour.'
' Besides, the fire is too hot for you/ interposed Mary.
' To be sure/ added her sister. ' Come, you must be
obedient.1 And still holding my hand, she made me rise, and
led me into the inner room.
1 Sit there/ she said, placing me on the sofa, ' while we
take our things off and get the tea ready ; it is another privi-
lege we exercise in our little moorland home — to prepare our
own meals when we are so inclined ; or when Hannah is
baking, brewing, washing, or ironing.'
She closed the door, leaving me solus with Mr. St. John,
who sat opposite, a book or newspaper in his hand. I
examined, first, the parlour, and then its occupant.
The parlour was rather a small room, very plainly fur-
nished ; yet comfortable, because clean and neat. The old-
fashioned chairs were very bright, and the walnut-wood table
was like a looking-glass. A few strange antique portraits of
the men and women of other days decorated the fetained walls ;
a cupboard with glass doors contained some books and an
ancient set of china. There was no superfluous ornament
in the room — not one modern piece of furniture, save a brace
of work-boxes and a lady's desk in rosewood, which stood on
a side-table : everything — including the carpet and curtains
— looked at once well worn and well saved.
Mr. St. John — sitting as still as one of the dusky pictures
on the walls, keeping his eyes fixed on the page he perused
and his lips mutely sealed, was easy enough to examine.
Had he been a statue instead of a man, he could not have
been easier. He was young —perhaps from twenty-eight to
JANE EYEE 421
thirty — tall, slender ; his face riveted the eye ; it was like a
Greek face, very pure in outline : quite a straight, classic
nose; quite an Athenian mouth and chin. It is seldom,
•indeed, an English face comes so near the antique models as
did his. He might well he a little shocked at the irregularity
of my lineaments, his own being so harmonious. His eyes
were large and blue, with brown lashes ; his high forehead,
colourless as ivory, was partially streaked over by careless
locks of fair hair.
This is a gentle delineation, is it not, reader ? Yet he
whom it describes scarcely impressed one with the idea of a
gentle, a yielding, an impressible, or even of a placid nature.
Quiescent as he now sat, there was somthing about his
nostril, his mouth, his brow, which, to my perceptions,
indicated elements within either restless, or hard, or eager.
He did not speak to me one word, nor even direct to me one
glance, till his sisters returned. Diana, as she passed in and
out in the course of preparing tea, brought me a little cake,
baked on the top of the oven.
1 Eat that now,' she said : ' you must be hungry. Hannah
says you have had nothing but some gruel since break-
fast.'
I did not refuse it, for my appetite was awakened and
keen. Mr. Eivers now closed his book, approached the table,
and, as he took a seat, fixed his blue pictorial-looking eyes
full on me. There was an unceremonious directness, a
searching, decided steadfastness in his gaze now, which told
that intention, and not diffidence, had hitherto kept it averted
from the stranger.
' You are very hungry/ he said.
' I am, sir/ It is my way — it always was my way, by
instinct— ever to meet the brief with brevity, the direct with
plainness.
t It is well for you that a low fever has forced you to
abstain for the last three days : there would have been
danger in yielding to the cravings of your appetite at first.
Now you may eat ; though still not immoderately.'
4=22 JANE EYEE
' I trust I shall not eat long at your expense, sir,1 was my
very clumsily-contrived, unpolished answer.
' No/ he said, coolly : ' when you have indicated to us the
residence of your friends, we can write to them, and you may
be restored to home.'
' That, I must plainly tell you, is out of my power to do ;
being absolutely without home and friends.'
The three looked at me, but not distrustfully ; I felt there
was no suspicion in their glances : there was more of curiosity.
I speak particularly of the young ladies. St. John's eyes,
though clear enough in a literal sense, in a figurative one were
difficult to fathom. He seemed to use them rather as instru-
ments to search other people's thoughts, than as agents to
reveal his own: the which combination of keenness and
reserve was considerably more calculated to embarrass than
to encourage.
1 Do you mean to say/ he asked, ' that you are completely
isolated from every connection ? '
1 I do. Not a tie links me to any living thing : not a claim
do I possess to admittance under any roof in England/
1 A most singular position at your age 1 '
Here I saw his glance directed to my hands, which were
folded on the table before me. I wondered what he sought
there : his words soon explained the quest.
I You have never been married ? You are a spinster ? '
Diana laughed.
' Why, she can't be above seventeen or eighteen years
old, St. John/ said she.
I 1 am near nineteen : but I am not married. No.'
I felt a burning glow mount to my face ; for bitter and
agitating recollections were awakened by the allusion to
marriage. They all saw the embarrassment and the emo-
tion. Diana and Mary relieved me by turning their eyes
elsewhere than to my crimsoned visage ; but the colder and
sterner brother continued to gaze, till the trouble he had
excited forced out tears as well as colour.
' Where did you last reside ? ' he now asked.
JANE EYBE 423
1 You are too inquisitive, St. John,' murmured Mary, in
a low voice ; but he leaned over the table and required an
answer by a second firm and piercing look.
' The name of the place where, and of the person with
whom I lived, is my secret/ I replied, concisely.
' Which, if you like, you have, in my opinion, a right to
keep both from St. John and every other questioner,1 remarked
Diana.
' Yet if I know nothing about you or your history, I can-
not help you/ he said. ' And you need help : do you not ? '
'I need it, and I seek it; so far, sir, that some true
philanthropist will put me in the way of getting work which
I can do, and the remuneration for which will keep me : if
but in the barest necessaries of life.'
' I know not whether I am a true philanthropist ; yet I
am willing to aid you to the utmost of my power, in a pur-
pose so honest. First, then, tell me what you have been
accustomed to do, and what you can do/
I had now swallowed my tea. I was mightily refreshed
by the beverage ; as much so as a giant with wine : it gave
new tone to my unstrung nerves, and enabled me to address
this penetrating young judge steadily.
1 Mr. Eivers/ I said, turning to him, and looking at him,
as he looked at me, openly arid without diffidence, ' you and
your sisters have done me a great service— the greatest man
can do his fellow-being ; you have rescued me, by your noble
hospitality, from death. This benefit conferred gives you an
unlimited claim on my gratitude ; and a claim, to a certain
extent, on my confidence. I will tell you as much of th.e
history of the wanderer you have harboured as I can tell
without compromising my own peace of mind— my own
security, moral and physical, and that of others.
' I am an orphan ; the daughter of a clergyman. My
parents died before I could know them. I was brought up
a dependent ; educated in a charitable institution. I will
even tell you the name of the establishment where I passed
six years as a pupil and two as a teacher— Lowood Orphan
424 JANE EYEE
Asylum, shire : you will have heard of it, Mr. Eivers ?
— the Eev. Eobert Brocklehurst is the treasurer/
1 1 have heard of Mr. Brocklehurst, and I have seen the
school/
' I left Lowood nearly a year since to become a private
governess. I obtained a good situation, and was happy.
This place I was obliged to leave four days before I came
here. The reason of my departure I cannot and ought not
to explain : it would be useless— dangerous ; and would sound
incredible. No blame attached to me ; I am as free from
culpability as any one of you three. Miserable I am, and must
be for a time ; for the catastrophe which drove me from a
house I had found a paradise was of a strange and direful
nature. I observed but two points in planning my departure
— speed, secrecy : to secure these I had to leave behind me
everything I possessed except a small parcel ; which, in my
hurry and trouble of mind, I forgot to take out of the coach
that brought mo to Whitcross. To this neighbourhood,
then, I came, quite destitute. I slept two nights in the open
air, and wandered about two days without crossing a
threshold : but twice in that space of time did I taste food ;
and it was when brought by hunger, exhaustion and despair
almost to the last gasp that you, Mr. Eivers, forbade me to
perish of want at your door, and took me under the shelter
of your roof. I know all your sisters have done for me since
— for I have not been insensible during my seeming torpor —
and I owe to their spontaneous, genuine, genial compassion,
as large a debt as to your evangelical charity/
1 Don't make her talk any more now, St. John,' said
Diana, as I paused ; ' she is evidently not yet fit for
excitement. Gome to the sofa, and sit down now, Miss
Elliott/
I gave an involuntary half-start at hearing the alias ; I
had forgotten my new name. Mr. Eivers, whom nothing
seemed to escape, noticed it at once.
' You said your name was Jane Elliott ? ' he observed.
I 1 did say so ; and it is the name by which I think it
JANE EYRE 425
expedient to be called at present : but it is not my real name,
and when I hear it, it sounds strange to me.'
* Your real name you will not give ? '
' No : I fear discovery above all things ; and whatever
disclosure would lead to it, I avoid/
1 You are quite right, I am sure/ said Diana. ' Now
do, brother, let her be at peace a while/
But when St. John had mused a few moments, he
recommenced, as imperturbably, and with as much acumen
as ever.
' You would not like to be long dependent on our hospi-
tality— you would wish, I see, to dispense as soon as may be
with my sisters' compassion ; and, above all, with my
charity (I am quite sensible of the distinction drawn, nor
do I resent it — it is just) : you desire to be independent
of us?'
* I do : I have already said so. Show me how to work,
or how to seek work : that is all I now ask ; then let me go,
if it be but to the meanest cottage — but till then allow me to
stay here : T dread another essay of the horrors of homeless
destitution/
1 Indeed, you shall stay here/ said Diana, putting her
white hand on my head.
1 You sliall,' repeated Mary, in the tone of undemonstrative
sincerity which seemed natural to her.
' My sisters, you see, have a pleasure in keeping you,'
said Mr. St. John, 'as they would have a pleasure in keeping
and cherishing a half -frozen bird some wintry wind might
have driven through their casement. I feel more inclination
to put you in the way of keeping yourself: and shall
^endeavour to do so : but observe, my sphere is narrow. I am
but the incumbent of a poor country parish : my aid must be
of the humblest sort. And if you are inclined to despise the
day of small things, seek some more efficient succour th#n
such as I can offer/
' She has already said that she is willing to do anything
honest she can do/ answered Diana for me ; ' and you know,
426 JANE EYEB
St. John she has no choice of helpers : she is forced to put
up with such crusty people as you/
1 1 will be a dressmaker : I will be a plain-work-woman ;
I will be a servant, a nurse-girl, if I can be no better/ I
answered.
'Eight/ said Mr. St. John, quite coolly. 'If such is
your spirit, I promise to aid you ; in my own time and way/
He now resumed the book with which he had been
occupied before tea. I soon withdrew ; for I had talked as
much, and sat up as long, as my present strength would
permit.
JANE EYEE 427
CHAPTEE XXX
THE more I knew of the inmates of Moor House, the better
I liked them. In a few days I had so far recovered my
health that I could sit up all day, and walk out sometimes.
I could join with Diana and Mary in all their occupations ;
converse with them as much as they wished, and aid them
when and where they would allow me. There was a reviv-
ing pleasure in this intercourse, of a kind now tasted by me
for the first time — the pleasure arising from perfect conge-
niality of tastes, sentiments, and principles.
I liked to read what they liked to read : what they
enjoyed, delighted me ; what they approved, I reverenced.
They loved their sequestered home. I, too, in the grey,
small, antique structure, with its low roof, its latticed case-
ments, its mouldering walls, its avenue of aged firs — all
grown aslant under the stress of mountain winds ; its
garden, dark with yew and holly — and where no flowers but
of the hardiest species would bloom — found a charm both
potent and permanent. They clung to the purple moors-
behind and around their dwelling — to the hollow vale into-
which the pebbly bridle-path leading from their gate
descended ; and which wound between fern-banks first, and
then amongst a few of the wildest little pasture-fields that
ever bordered a wilderness of heath, or gave sustenance to a
flock of grey moorland sheep, with their little mossy-faced
lambs : — they clung to this scene, I say, with a perfect
enthusiasm of attachment. I could comprehend the feeling,,
and share both its strength and truth. I saw the fascination
of the locality. I felt the consecration of its loneliness : my
eye feasted on the outline of swell and sweep — on the wild
428 JANE EYEB
colouring communicated to ridge and dell by moss, by
heath-bell, by flower-sprinkled turf, by brilliant bracken, and
mellow granite crag. These details were just to me what
they were to them — so many pure and sweet sources of
pleasure. The strong blast and the soft breeze; the rough
and the halcyon day ; the hours of sunrise and sunset ; the
moonlight and the clouded night, developed for me, in these
regions, the same attraction as for them — wound round my
faculties the same spell that entranced theirs.
Indoors we agreed equally well. They were both more
accomplished and better read than I was : but with eagerness
I followed in the path of knowledge they had trodden before
me. I devoured the books they lent me : then it was full
satisfaction to discuss with them in the evening what I had
perused during the day. Thought fitted thought; opinion
met opinion : we coincided, in short, perfectly.
If in our trio there was a superior and a leader, it was
Diana. Physically, she far excelled me : she was handsome ;
she was vigorous. In her animal spirits there was an
affluence of life and certainty of flow, such as excited my
wonder, while it baffled my comprehension. I could talk a
while when the evening commenced : but the first gush of
vivacity and fluency gone, I was fain to sit on a stool at
Diana's feet, to rest my head on her knee, and listen alter-
nately to her and Mary ; while they sounded thoroughly the
topic on which I had but touched. Diana offered to teach
me German. I liked to learn of her : I saw the part of
instructress pleased and suited her ; that of scholar pleased
and suited me no less. Our natures dovetailed: mutual
affection — of the strongest kind — was the result. They dis-
covered I could draw : their pencils and colour-boxes were
immediately at my service. My skill, greater in this one
point than theirs, surprised and charmed them. Mary would
sit and watch me by the hour together : then she would take
lessons ; and a docile, intelligent, assiduous pupil she made.
Thus occupied, and mutually entertained, days passed like
hours and weeks like days.
JANE EYEE 429
As to Mr. St. John, the intimacy which had arisen so
naturally and rapidly between me and his sisters did not
extend to him. One reason of the distance yet observed
between us was that he was comparatively seldom at home :
a large proportion of his time appeared devoted to visiting
the sick and poor among the scattered population of his
parish.
No weather seemed to hinder him in these pastoral
excursions : rain or fair, he would, when his hours of
morning study were over, take his hat, and, followed by his
father's old pointer Carlo, go out on his mission of love or
duty — I scarcely know in which light he regarded it. Some-
times, when the day was very unfavourable, his sisters
would expostulate. He would then say, with a peculiar
smile, more solemn than cheerful, — 'And if I let a gust of
wind or a sprinkling of rain turn me aside from these easy
tasks, what preparation would such sloth be for the future I
propose to myself ? '
Diana and Mary's general answer to this question was a
sigh, and some minutes of apparently mournful meditation.
But besides his frequent absences, there was another
barrier to friendship with him : he seemed of a reserved,
an abstracted, and even of a brooding nature. Zealous in his
ministerial labours, blameless in his life and habits, he yet
did not appear to enjoy that mental serenity, that inward
content, which should be the reward of every sincere Christian
and practical philanthropist. Often, of an evening, when he
sat at the window, his desk and papers before him, he
would cease reading or writing, rest his chin on his hand,
and deliver himself up to I know not what course of thought ;
but that it was perturbed and exciting might be seen in the
frequent flash and changeful dilation of his eye.
I think, moreover, that Nature was not to him that
treasury of delight it was to his sisters. He expressed once,
and but once in my hearing, a strong sense of the rugged
charm of the hills, and an inborn affection for the dark roof
and hoary walls he called his home ; but there was more of
430 JANE EYBB
gloom than pleasure in the tone and words in which the
sentiment was manifested ; and never did he seem to roam
the moors for the sake of their soothing silence — never seek
out or dwell upon the thousand peaceful delights they could
yield.
Incommunicative as he was, some time elapsed before I
had an opportunity of gauging his mind. I first got an idea
of its calibre when I heard him preach in his oym church at
Morton. I wish I could describe that sermon ; but it is past
my power. I cannot even render faithfully the effect it pro-
duced on me.
It began calm — and indeed, as far as delivery and pitch
of voice went, it was calm to the end : an earnestly felt, yet
strictly restrained zeal breathed soon in the distinct accents,
and prompted the nervous language. This grew to force—
compressed, condensed, controlled. The heart was thrilled,
the mind astonished, by the power of the preacher : neither
was softened. Throughout there was a strange bitterness ;
an absence of consolatory gentleness ; stern allusions to Cal-
vinistic doctrines — election, predestination, reprobation —
were frequent ; and each reference to these points sounded
like a sentence pronounced for doom. When he had done,
instead of feeling better, calmer, more enlightened by his
discourse, I experienced an inexpressible sadness ; for it
seemed to me — I know not whether equally so to others —
that the eloquence to which I had been listening had sprung
from a depth where lay turbid dregs of disappointment —
where moved troubling impulses of insatiate yearnings and
disquieting aspirations. I was sure St. John Eivers — pure-
lived, conscientious, zealous as he was — had not yet found
that peace of God which passeth all understanding ; he had
no more found it, I thought, than had I ; with my concealed
and racking regrets for my broken idol and lost elysium —
regrets to which I have latterly avoided referring ; but which
possessed me and tyrannised over me ruthlessly.
Meantime a month was gone. Diana and Mary were
soon to leave Moor House, and return to the far different life
JANE EYEE 431
and scene which awaited them, as governesses in a large,
fashionable, south-of-England city; where each held a
situation in families, by whose wealthy and haughty members
they were regarded only as humble dependents, and who
neither knew nor sought one of their innate excellences, and
appreciated only their acquired accomplishments as they
appreciated the skill of their cook or the taste of their
waiting-woman. Mr. St. John had said nothing to me yet
about the employment he had promised to obtain for me ;
yet it became urgent that I should have a vocation of some
kind. One morning, being left alone with him a few minutes
in the parlour, I ventured to approach the window-recess —
which his table, chair, and desk consecrated as a kind of
study—and I was going to speak; though not very well
knowing in what words to frame my inquiry — for it is at all
times difficult to break the ice of reserve glassing over such
natures as his — when he saved me the trouble by being the
first to commence a dialogue.
Looking up as 1 drew near — ' You have a question to ask
of me ? ' he said.
' Yes ; I wish to know whether you have heard of any
service I can offer myself to undertake.'
* I found or devised something for you three weeks ago ;
but as you seemed both useful and happy here — as rny sisters
had evidently become attached to you, and your society gave
them unusual pleasure — I deemed it inexpedient to break in
on your mutual comfort till their approaching departure from
Marsh End should render yours necessary.1
1 And they will go in three days now ? ' I said.
1 Yes ; and when they go I shall return to the parsonage
at Morton : Hannah will accompany me ; and this old house
will be shut up.'
I waited a few moments, expecting he would go on with
the subject first broached ; but he seemed to have entered
another train of reflection ; his look denoted abstraction from
me and my business. I was obliged to recall him to a theme
which was of necessity one of close and anxious interest to me.
432 JANE EYEE
' What H the employment you had in view, Mr. Eivers ?
I hope this delay will not have increased the difficulty of
securing it.'
' Oh, no ; since it is an employment which depends only
on me to give, and you to accept.'
He again paused : there seemed a reluctance to continue.
I grew impatient : a restless movement or two, and an eager
and exacting -glance fastened on his face, conveyed the
feeling to him as effectually as words could have done, and
with less trouble.
' You need be in no hurry to hear,1 he said ; ' let me
frankly tell you, I have nothing eligible or profitable to
suggest. Before I explain, recall, if you please, my notice,
clearly given, that if I helped you, it must be as the blind
man would help the lame. I am poor ; for I find that, when
1 have paid my father's debts, all the patrimony remaining
to me will be this crumbling grange, the row of scathed firs
behind, and the patch of moorish soil, with the yew-trees
and holly-bushes in front. I am obscure : Eivers is an old
name ; but of the three sole descendants of the race, two earn
the dependent's crust among strangers, and the third con-
siders himself an alien from his native country — not only for
life, but in death. Yes, and deems, and is bound to deem,
himself honoured by the lot, and aspires but after the day
when the cross of separation from fleshly ties shall be laid
on his shoulders, and when the Head of that church-militant,
of whose humblest members he is one, shall give the word,
" Eise, follow Me i " '
St. John said these words as he pronounced his sermons,
with a quiet, deep voice ; with an unflushed cheek, and a
coruscating radiance of glance. He resumed : — ' And since
I am myself poor and obscure, I can offer you but a service
of poverty and obscurity. You may even think it degrading
— for I see now your habits have been what the world calls
refined : your tastes lean to the ideal ; and your society has
at least been amongst the educated — but I consider that no
service degrades which can better our race. I hold that
JANE EYEB 433
the more arid and unreclaimed the soil where the Christian
labourer's task of tillage is appointed him — the scantier the
meed his toil brings — the higher the honour. His, under
such circumstances, is the destiny of the pioneer ; and the
first pioneers of the Gospel were the Apostles — their captain
was Jesus, the Bedeemer, Himself.'
I Well ? ' I said, as he again paused—' proceed.'
He looked at me before he proceeded : indeed, he seemed
leisurely to read my face, as if its features and lines were
characters on a page. The conclusions drawn from this
scrutiny he partially expressed in his succeeding observa-
tions.
I 1 believe you will accept the post I offer you,' said he ;
1 and hold it for a while : not permanently, though : any
more than I could permanently keep the narrow and narrow-
ing— the tranquil, hidden office of English country incum-
bent : for in your nature is an alloy as detrimental to repose
as that in mine ; though of a different kind.'
I Do explain,' I urged, when he halted once more.
I 1 will ; and you shall hear how poor the proposal is, —
how trivial — how cramping. I shall not stay long at Morton,
now that my father is dead, and that I am my own master,
I shall leave the place probably in the course of a twelve-
month : but while I do stay I will exert myself to the
utmost for its improvement. Morton, when I came to it two
years ago, had no school: the children of the poor were
excluded from every hope of progress. I established one for
boys : I mean now to open a second school for girls. I have
hired a building for the purpose, with a cottage of two rooms
attached to it for the mistress's house. Her salary will be
thirty pounds a year ; her house is already furnished, very
simply, but sufficiently, by the kindness of a lady, Miss
Oliver ; the only daughter of the sole rich man in my parish
—Mr. Oliver, the proprietor of a needle-factory and iron-
foundry in the valley. The same lady pays for the education
and clothing of an orphan from the workhouse ; on condition
that she shall aid the mistress in such menial offices connected
434 JANE EYEE
with her own house and the school as her occupation of
teaching will prevent her having time to discharge in person.
Will you be this mistress ? '
He put the question rather hurriedly ; he seemed half to
expect an indignant, or at least a disdainful, rejection of the
offer; not knowing all my thoughts and feelings, though
guessing some, he could not tell in what light the lot would
appear to me. In truth it was humble — but then it was
sheltered, and I wanted a safe asylum : it was plodding — but
then, compared with that of a governess in a rich house, it
was independent ; and the fear of servitude with strangers
entered my soul like iron : it was not ignoble — not unworthy
— not mentally degrading. I made my decision.
1 1 thank you for the proposal, Mr. Eivers ; and I accept
it with all my heart/
'But you comprehend me?' he said. 'It is a village
school; your scholars will be only poor girls — cottagers'
children — at the best, farmers' daughters. Knitting, sewing,
reading, writing, cyphering, will be all you will have to
teach. What will you do with your accomplishments?
What with the largest portion of your mind — sentiments —
tastes ? '
1 Save them till they are wanted. They will keep/
1 You know what you undertake, then ? '
' I do/
He now smiled : and not a bitter or a sad smile, but one
well pleased and deeply gratified.
'And when will you commence the exercise of your
function ? '
' I will go to my house to-morrow ; and open the school,
if you like, next week/
' Very well : so be it/
He rose and walked through the room. Standing still,
he again looked at me. He shook his head.
1 What do you disapprove of, Mr. Eivers ? ' I asked.
' You will not stay at Morton long : no, no ! '
' Why ! What is your reason for saying so ? *
JANE EYEE 435
' I read it in your eye ; it is not of that description which
promises the maintenance of an even tenor in life.1
1 1 am not ambitious.'
He started at the word ' ambitious.' He repeated, ' No.
What made you think of ambition ? Who is ambitious ? I
know I am : but how did you find it out ? '
' I was speaking of myself/
'Well, if you are not ambitious, you are' He
paused.
'What?'
' I was going to say, impassioned : but perhaps you
would have misunderstood the word, and been displeased.
I mean, that human affections and sympathies have a most
powerful hold on you. I am sure you cannot long be
content to pass your leisure in solitude, and to devote your
working hours to a monotonous labour wholly void of
stimulus ; any more than I can be content,' he added, with
emphasis, ' to live here buried in morass, pent in with
mountain — my nature, that God gave me, contravened ; my
faculties, heaven-bestowed, paralysed — made useless. You
hear now how I contradict myself. I, who preached
contentment with a humble lot, and justified the vocation
even of hewers of wood, and drawers of water, in God's
service — I, His ordained minister, almost rave in my restless-
ness. Well, propensities and principles must be reconciled
by some means.'
He left the room. In this brief hour I had learnt more
of him than in the whole previous month : yet still he
puzzled me.
Diana and Mary Eivers became more sad and silent as
the day approached for leaving their brother and their home.
They both tried to appear as usual ; but the sorrow they had to
struggle against was one that could not be entirely conquered
or concealed. Diana intimated that this would be a different
parting from any they had ever yet known. It would
probably, as far as St. John was concerned, be a parting for
years : it might be a parting for life.
436 JANE EYEE
'He will sacrifice all to his long-framed resolves/ she
said: 'natural affection and feelings more potent still.
St. John looks quiet, Jane ; but he hides a fever in his vitala
You would think him gentle, yet in some things he is inex-
orable as death ; and the worst of it is, my conscience will
hardly permit me to dissuade him from his severe decision :
certainly, I cannot for a moment blame him for it. It is
right, noble, Christian : yet it breaks my heart/ And the
tears gushed to her fine eyes. Mary bent her head low over
her work.
1 We are now without father : we shall soon be without
home and brother,' she murmured.
At that moment a little accident supervened which
seemed decreed by fate purposely to prove the truth of the
adage that ' misfortunes never come singly : ' and to add to
their distresses the vexing one of the slip between the cup and
the lip. St John passed the window reading a letter. He
entered.
' Our uncle John is dead/ said he.
Both the sisters seemed struck : not shocked or appalled ;
the tidings appeared in their eyes rather momentous than
afflicting.
' Dead ? ' repeated Diana.
' Yes.'
She riveted a searching gaze on her brother's face. ' And
what then ? ' she demanded, in a low voice,
'What then, Die?' he replied, maintaining a marble
immobility of feature. 'What then? Why— nothing.
Bead.'
He threw the letter into her lap. She glanced over it, and
handed it to Mary. Mary perused it in silence, and returned
it to her brother. All three looked at each other, and all
three smiled — a dreary, pensive smile enough.
' Amen I We can yet live/ said Diana at last.
'At any rate, it makes us no worse off than we were
before/ remarked Mary.
1 Only it forces rather strongly on the mind the picture
JANE EYES 437
of what might have been,' said Mr. Bivers ; ' and contrasts
it somewhat too vividly with what is.'
He folded the letter, locked it in his desk, and again went
out.
For some minutes no one spoke. Diana then turned to
me.
*3ane, you will wonder at us and our mysteries/ she
said, 'and think us hard-hearted beings not to be more
moved at the death of so near a relation as an uncle ; but we
have never seen him or known him. He was my mother's
brother. My father and he quarrelled long ago. It was by
his advice that my father risked most of his property in the
speculation that ruined him. Mutual recrimination passed
between them : they 'parted in anger, and were never recon-
ciled. My uncle engaged afterwards in more prosperous
undertakings : it appears he realised a foitune of twenty
thousand pounds. He was never married, and had no near
kindred but ourselves, and one other person, not more
closely related than we. My father always cherished the
idea that ho would atone for his error by leaving his
possessions to us • that letter informs us that he has be-
queathed every penny to the other relation; with the
exception of thirty guineas, to be divided between St. John,
Diana, and Mary Bivers, for the purchase of three mourning
rings. He had a right, of course, to do as he pleased : and
yet a momentary damp is cast on the spirits by the receipt
of such news. Mary and I would have esteemed ourselves
rich with a thousand pounds each ; and to St John such a
sum would have been valuable, for the good it would have
enabled him to do/
This explanation given, the subject was dropped, and no
further reference made to it, by either Mr. Bivers or his
sisters. The next day I left Marsh End for Morton. The
day after, Diana and Mary quitted it for distant B .
In a week, Mr. Bivers and Hannah repaired to the parson-
age : and so the old grange was abandoned.
438 JANE EYKE
CHAPTER XXXI
MY home, then, — when I at last find a home, — is a cottage :
a little room with white-washed walls and a sanded floor ;
containing four painted chairs and a table, a clock, a cup-
board, with two or three plates and dishes, and a set of tea-
things in delf. Above, a chamber of the same dimensions as
the kitchen, with a deal bedstead, and chest of drawers;
small, yet too large to be filled with my scanty wardrobe :
though the kindness of my gentle and generous friends has
increased that by a modest stock of such things as are
necessary.
It is evening. I have dismissed, with the fee of an
orange, the little orphan who serves me as a handmaid. I
am sitting alone on the hearth. This morning the village
school opened. I had twenty scholars. But three of the
number can read : none write or cypher. Several knit, and
a few sew a little. They speak with the broadest accent of
the district. At present they and I have a difficulty in
understanding each other's language. Some of them are
unmannered, rough, intractable, as well as ignorant; but
others are docile, have a wish to learn, and evince a dis-
position that pleases me. I must not forget that these
coarsely-clad little peasants are of flesh and blood as good
as the scions of gentlest genealogy ; and that the germs of
native excellence, refinement, intelligence, kind feeling, are
as likely to exist in their hearts as in those of the best-born.
My duty will be to develop these germs : surely I shall find
some happiness in discharging that office. Much enjoyment
I do not expect in the life opening before me : yet it will,
JANE EYRE 439
doubtless, if I regulate my mind, and exert my powers as I
ought, yield me enough to live on from day to day.
Was I very gleeful, settled, content, during the hours I
passed in yonder bare, humble school-room this morning and
afternoon ? Not to deceive myself, I must reply — No : I
felt desolate to a degree. I felt— yes, idiot that I am — I felt
degraded. I doubted I had taken a step which sank instead
of raising me in the scale of social existence. I was weakly
dismayed at the ignorance, the poverty, the coarseness of all
I heard and saw round me. But let me not hate and despise
myself too much for these feelings : I know them to be wrong
— that is a great step gained ; I shall strive to overcome them.
To-morrow, I trust, I shall get the better of them partially ;
and in a few weeks, perhaps, they will be quite subdued. In
a few months, it is possible, the happiness of seeing progress,
and a change for the better in my scholars, may substitute
gratification for disgust.
Meantime, let me ask myself one question — Which is
better ? — To have surrendered to tamptation ; listened to
passion ; made no painful effort — no struggle ; — but to have
sunk down in tho silken snaro ; fallen asleep on the flowers
covering it; -wakened in a southern clime, amongst the
luxuries of a pleasure villa : to have been now living in
France, Mr. Rochester's mistress ; delirious with his love
half my time — for he would — oh, yes, he would have loved
me well for a while. He did love me — no one will ever love
me so again. I shall never more know the sweet homage
given to beauty, youth, and grace—for never to any one else
shall I seem to possess these charms. He was fond and
proud of me — it is what no man besides will ever be. — But
where am I wandering, and what am I saying ; and, above
all, feeling ? Whether is it.better, I ask, to be a slave in a
fool's paradise at Marseilles — fevered with delusive bliss one
hour — suffocating with the bitterest tears of remorse and
shame the next — or to be a village schoolmistress, free and
honest, in a breezy mountain nook in the healthy heart of
England?
Q
440 JANE EYES
Yes; I feel now that I was right when I adhered to
principle and law, aud scorned and crushed the insane
promptings of a frenzied moment. God directed me to a
correct choice : I thank His providence for the guidance.
Having brought my eventide musings to this point, I rose,
went to my door, and looked at the sunset of the harvest-day,
and at the quiet fields before my cottage ; which, with the
school, was distant half a mile from the village. The birds
were singing their last strains —
The air was mild ; the dew was balm.
While I looked, I thought myself happy, and was surprised
to find myself ere long weeping — and why? For the doom
which had reft me from adhesion to my master : for him I
was no more to see ; for the desperate grief and fatal
fury — consequences of my departure — which might now,
perhaps, be dragging him from the path of right, too far to
leave hope of ultimate restoration thither. At this thought,
I turned my face aside from the lovely sky of eve and lonely
vale of Morton— I say lonely, for in that bend of it visible to
me there was no building apparent save the church and the
parsonage, half -hid in trees ; and, quite at the extremity,
the roof of Vale Hall, where the rich Mr. Oliver and his
daughter lived. I hid my eyes, and leant my head against
the stone frame of rny door; but soon a slight noise near
the wicket which shut in my tiny garden from the meadow
beyond it made me look up. A dog— old Carlo, Mr. Bivers'
pointer, as I saw in a moment — was pushing the gate with
his nose, and St. John himself leant upon it with folded arms ;
his brow knit, his gaze, grave almost to displeasure, fixed on
me. I asked him to come in.
' No, I cannot stay ; I have only brought you a little
parcel my sisters left for you. I think it contains a colour-
box, pencils, and paper/
I approached to take it: a welcome gift it was. He
examined my face, I thought, with austerity, as I came near :
the traces of tears were doubtless very visible upon it.
JANE EYEE 441
' Have you found your first day's work harder than you
expected ? ' he asked.
1 Oh, no ! On the contrary, I think in time I shall get on
with my scholars very well.'
' But perhaps your accommodations — your cottage — your
furniture — have disappointed your expectations ? They are,
in truth, scanty enough ; but '
I interrupted : — ' My cottage is clean and weather-proof ;
my furniture sufficient and commodious. All I see has made
me thankful, not despondent. I am not absolutely such a
fool and sensualist as to regret the absence of a carpet, a
sofa, and silver plate : besides, five weeks ago I had nothing
— I was an outcast, a beggar, a vagrant ; now 1 have
acquaintance, a home, a business. J wonder at the goodness
of God ; the generosity of my friends ; the bounty of my lot.
I do not repine.'
' But you feel solitude an oppression ? The little house
there behind you is dark and empty.'
4 1 have hardly had time yet to enjoy a sense of tran-
quillity, much less to grow impatient under one of loneli-
ness.'
1 Very well ; T hope you feel the content you express : at
any rate, your good sense will tell you that it is too soon yet
to yield to the vacillating fears of Lot's wife. What you had
left before I saw you, of course I do not know ; but I counsel
you to resist, firmly, every temptation which would incline
you to look back : pursue your present career steadily, for
some months at least.'
' It is what I mean to do,' I answered.
St. John continued : — ' It is hard work to control the
workings of inclination, and turn the bent of nature : but
that it may be done 1 know from experience. God has
given us, in a measure, the power to make our own fate ;
and when our energies seem to demand a sustenance
they cannot get — when our will strains after a path we may
not follow — we need neither starve from inanition, nor stand
still in despair : we have but to seek another nourishment for
442 JANE EYEE
the mind, as strong as the forbidden fruit it longed to taste —
and perhaps purer ; and to hew out for the adventurous foot
a road as direct and broad as the one Fortune has blocked up
against us, if rougher than it.
1 A year ago I was myself intensely miserable, because
I thought I had made a mistake in entering the ministry : its
uniform duties wearied me to death. I burnt for the more
active life of the world — for the more exciting toils of a
literary career — for the destiny of an artist, author, orator ;
anything rather than that of a priest : yes, the heart of a
politician, of a soldier, of a votary of glory, a lover of renown,
a luster after power, beat under my curate's surplice. I
considered ; my life was so wretched, it must be changed, or
I must die. After a season of darkness and struggling, light
broke and relief fell : my cramped existence all at once
spread out to a plain without bounds — my powers heard a
call from heaven to rise, gather their full strength, spread
their wings, and mount beyond ken. God had an errand for
me ; to bear which afar, to deliver it well, skill and strength,
courage and eloquence, the best qualifications of soldier,
statesman, and orator, were all needed : for these all centre
in the good missionary.
1 A missionary I resolved to be. Prom that moment my
state of mind changed; the fetters dissolved and dropped
from every faculty, leaving nothing of bondage but its galling
soreness — which time only can heal. My father, indeed,
opposed the determination, but since his death I have not a
legitimate obstacle to contend with ; some affairs settled, a
successor for Morton provided, an entanglement or two of
the feelings broken through or cut asunder — a last conflict
with human weakness, in which I know I shall overcome,
because I have vowed that I will overcome — and I leave
Europe for the East.1
He said this in his peculiar, subdued, yet emphatic voice ;
looking, when he had ceased speaking, not at me, but at the
setting sun, at which I looked too. Both he and I had our
backs towards the path leading up the field to the wicket.
JANE EYEB 443
We had heard no step on that grass-grown track ; the water
running in the vale was the one lulling sound of the hour
and scene ; we might well then start when a gay voice,
sweet as a silver bell, exclaimed : — ' Good evening, Mr. Eivers.
And good evening, old Carlo. Your dog is quicker to
recognise his friends than you are, sir ; he pricked his ears
and wagged his tail when I was at the bottom of the field,
and you have your back towards me now/
It was true. Though Mr. Eivers had started at the first
of those musical accents, as if a thunderbolt had split a
cloud over his head, he stood yet, at the close of the sentence,
in the same attitude in which the speaker had surprised him
— his arm resting on the gate, his face directed towards the
west. He turned at last, with measured deliberation. A
vision, as it seemed to me, had risen at his side. There
appeared, within three feet of him, a form clad in pure
white — a youthful, graceful form : full, yet fine iii contour ;
and when, after bending to caress Carlo, it lifted up its head,
and threw back a long veil, there bloomed under his glance a
face of perfect beauty. Perfect beauty is a strong expression ;
but I do not retrace or qualify it : as sweet features as ever
the temperate clime of Albion moulded ; as pure hues of rose
and lily as ever her hurnid gales and vapoury skies generated
and screened justified, in this instance, the term. No charm
was wanting, no defect was perceptible ; the young girl had
regular and delicate lineaments ; 'eyes shaped and coloured
as we see them in lovely pictures, large, and dark, and full ;
the long and shadowy eyelash which encircles a fine eye
with so soft a fascination ; the pencilled brow which gives
such clearness ; the white, smooth forehead, which adds
such repose to the livelier beauties of tint and ray ; the cheek,
oval, fresh, and smooth ; the lips, fresh too, ruddy, healthy,
sweetly formed ; the even and gleaming teeth without flaw ;
the small dimpled chin ; the ornament of rich, plenteous
tresses — all advantages, in short, which, combined, realise
the ideal of beauty were fully hers. I wondered, as I looked
at this fair creature: I admired her with my whole
444 JANE EYEE
heart. Nature had surely formed her in a partial mood ;
and, forgetting her usual stinted stepmother dole of gifts,
had endowed this, her darling, with a granddame's bounty.
What did St. John Eivers think of this earthly angel ? I
naturally asked myself that question as I saw him turn to
her and look at her ; and, as naturally, I sought the answer
to the inquiry in his countenance. He had already with-
drawn his eye from the Peri, and was looking at a humble
tuft of daisies which grew by the wicket.
' A lovely evening, but late for you to be out alone/ he
said, as he crushed the snowy heads of the closed flowers
with his foot.
' Oh, I only came home from S ' (she mentioned the
name of a large town some twenty miles distant) 'this
afternoon. Papa told me you had opened your school, and
that the new mistress was come ; and so I put on my bonnet
after tea, and ran up the valley to see her : this is she ? '
pointing to me.
' It is,1 said St. John.
' Do you think you shall like Morton ? ' she asked of me,
with a direct and naive simplicity of tone and manner,
pleasing, if child-like.
* I hope I shall. I have many inducements to do so/
1 Did you find your scholars as attentive as you expected ? '
' Quite.'
1 Do you like your house ? '
' Very much.'
1 Have I furnished it nicely ? '
' Very nicely indeed.1
* And made a good choice of an attendant for you in
Alice Wood?'
' You have, indeed. She is teachable and handy/ (This,
then, I thought, is Miss Oliver, the heiress; favoured,
it seems, in the gifts of fortune, as well as in those of nature !
What happy combination of the planets presided over her
birth, I wonder ?)
' I shall come up and help you to teach sometimes/ she
JANE EYBE 445
added. 'It will be a change for me to visit you now and
then ; and I like a change. Mr. Bivers, I have been so gay
during my stay at S . Last night, or rather this morn-
ing, I was dancing till two o'clock. The th regiment
are stationed there since the riots ; and the officers are the
most agreeable men in the world : they put all our young
knife-grinders and scissor merchants to shame/
It seemed to me that Mr. St. John's under lip protruded,
and his upper lip curled a moment. His mouth certainly
looked a good deal compressed, and the lower part of his
face unusually stern and square, as the laughing girl gave
him this information. He lifted his gaze, too, from the
daisies, and turned it on her. An unsmiling, a searching, a
meaning gaze it was. She answered it with a second laugh,
and laughter well became her youth, her roses, her dimples,
her bright eyes.
As he stood, mute and grave, she again fell to caressing
Carlo.
' Poor Carlo loves me/ said she. ' lie is nofc stern and
distant to his friends ; and if he could speak, he would not
be silent/
As she patted the dog's head, bending with native grace
before his young and austere master, I saw a glow rise to
that master's face. I saw his solemn eye melt with
sudden fire, and flicker with resistless emotion. Flushed
and kindled thus, he looked nearly as beautiful for a man
as she for a woman. His chest heaved once, as if his
large heart, weary of despotic constriction, had expanded,
despite the will, and made a vigorous bound for the attain-
ment of liberty. But he curbed it, I think, as a resolute
rider would curb a rearing steed. He responded neither
by word nor movement to the gentle advances made
him.
'Papa says you never come to see us now,' continued
Miss Oliver, looking up. ' You are quite a stranger at Vale
Hall. He is alone this evening, and not very well : will you
return with me and visit him ? '
4:46 JANE EYKB
' It is not a seasonable hour to intrude on Mr. Oliver/
answered St. John.
' Not a seasonable hour ! But I declare it is. It is just
the hour when papa most wants company : when the works
are closed, and he has no business to occupy him. Now,
Mr. Eivers, do come. Why are you so very shy, and so very
sombre ? '
She filled up the hiatus his silence left by a reply of her
own.
' I forgot ! ' she exclaimed, shaking her beautiful curled
head, as if shocked at herself. ' I am so giddy and thought-
less ! Do excuse me. It had slipped my memory that you
have good reasons to be indisposed for joining in my chatter.
Diana and Mary have left you, and Moor House is shut up,
and you are so lonely. I am sure I pity you. Do come and
see papa.'
' Not to-night, Miss Eosamond, not to-night/
Mr. St. John spoke almost like an automaton : himself
only knew the effort it cost him thus to refuse.
' Well, if you are so obstinate, I will leave you ; for I dare
not stay any longer : the dew begins to fall. Good-evening 1 '
She held out her hand. He jiist touched it. ' Good-
evening ! ' he repeated, in a voice low and hollow as an echo.
She turned ; but in a moment returned.
1 Are you well ? ' she asked. Well might she put the
question : his face was blanched as her gown.
' Quite well/ he enunciated ; and, with a bow, he left the
gate. She went one way ; he another. She turned twice to
gaze after him, as she tripped faiiy-like down the field; he,
as he strode firmly across, never turned at all.
This spectacle of another's suffering and sacrifice rapt
my thoughts from exclusive meditation on my own. Diana
Eivers had designated her brother ' inexorable as death/ She
had not exaggerated.
JANE EYEE 447
CHAPTER XXXII
I CONTINUED the labours of the village- school as actively
and faithfully as I could. It was truly hard work at first.
Some time elapsed before, with all my efforts, I could
comprehend my scholars and their nature. Wholly untaught,
with faculties quite torpid, they seemed to me hopelessly
dull ; and, at first sight, all dull alike : but I soon found I
was mistaken. There was a difference amongst them as
amongst the educated ; and when I got to know them, and
they me, this difference rapidly developed itself. Their
amazement at me, my language, my rules, and ways, once
subsided, I found some of these heavy-looking, gaping rustics
wake up into sharp-witted girls enough. Many showed
themselves obliging, and amiable too; and I discovered
amongst them not a few examples of natural politeness and
innate self-respect, as well as of excellent capacity, that won
both my goodwill and my admiration. These soon took a
pleasure in doing their work well ; in keeping their persons
neat; in learning their tasks regularly; in acquiring quiet
and orderly-manners. The rapidity of their progress, in
some instances, was even surprising; and an honest and
happy pride I took in it : besides, I began personally to like
some of the best girls ; and they liked me. I had amongst
my scholars several farmers' daughters: young women
grown, almost. These could already read, write, and sew ;
and to them I taught the elements of grammar, geography,
history, and the finer kinds of needlework. I found estimable
characters amongst them — characters desirous of infor-
mation, and disposed for improvement — with whom I passed
many a pleasant evening hour in their own homes. Their
448 JANE EYEB
parents then (the farmer and his wife) loaded me with
attentions. There was an enjoyment in accepting their
simple kindness, and in repaying it by a consideration — a
scrupulous regard to their feelings — to which they were not,
perhaps, at all times accustomed, and which both charmed
and benefited them ; because, while it elevated them in their
own eyes, it made them emulous to merit the deferential
treatment they received.
I felt I became a favourite in the neighbourhood. When-
ever I went out, I heard on all sides cordial salutations, and
was welcomed with friendly smiles. To live amidst general
regard, though it be but the regard of working-people, is like
1 sitting in sunshine, calm and sweet : ' serene inward
feelings bud and bloom under the ray. At this period of my
life my heart far oftener swelled with thankfulness than
sank with dejection : and yet, reader, to tell you all, in the
midst of this calm, this useful existence — after a day passed
in honourable exertion amongst my scholars, an evening
spent in drawing or reading contentedly alone — I used to
rush into strange dreams at night : dreams many-coloured,
agitated, full of the ideal, the stirring, the stormy — dreams
where, amidst unusual scenes, charged with adventure, with
agitating risk and romantic chance, I still again and again
met Mr. Eochester, always at some exciting crisis ; and then
the sense of being in his arms, hearing his voice, meeting his
eye, touching his hand and cheek, loving him, being loved by
him — the hope of passing a lifetime at his side, would be
renewed, with all its first force and fire. Then I awoke.
Then I recalled where I was, and how situated. Then I
rose up on my curtainless bed, trembling and quivering;
and then the still, dark night witnessed the convulsion of
despair and heard the burst of passion. By nine o'clock the
next morning I was punctually opening the school ; tranquil,
settled, prepared for the steady duties of the day.
Bosamond Oliver kept her word in coming to visit me.
Her call at the school was generally made in the course of
her morning ride. She would canter up to the door on her
JANE EYEE 449
pony, followed by a mounted livery servant. Anything more
exquisite than her appearance, in her purple habit, with her
Amazon's cap of black velvet placed gracefully above the
long curls that kissed her cheek and floated to her shoulders,
can scarcely be imagined : and it was thus she would enter
the rustic building, and glide through the dazzled ranks of
the village children. She generally came at the hour when
Mr. Elvers was engaged in giving his daily catechising
lesson. Keenly, I fear, did the eye of the visi tress pierce the
young pastor's heart. A sort of instinct seemed to warn him
of her entrance, even when he did not see it ; and when he
wasJooking quite away from the door, if she appeared at it his
cheek \vould glow and his marble-seeming features, though
they refused to relax, changed indescribably : and in their very
quiescence became expressive of a repressed fervour, stronger
than woi king muscle or darting glance could indicate.
Of courso she knew her power: indeed, he did not,
because he could not, conceal it from her. In spite of his
Christian stoicism, when she went up and addressed him, and
smiled gaily, encouragingly, even fondly in his face, his hand
would tremble and his eye burn. He soemod to say, with
his sad and resolute look, if he did not say it with, his lips,
1 1 love you, and I know you prefer me. It is not despair of
success that keeps me dumb. If I offered my heart, 1 believe
you would accept it. But that heart is already laid on a
sacred altar : the fire is arranged round it. It will soon be
no more than a sacrifice consumed/
And then she would pout like a disappointed child ; a
pensive cloud would soften her radiant vivacity ; she would
withdraw her hand hastily from his, and turn in transient
petulance from his aspect, at once so heroic and so martyr-
like. St. John, no doubt, would have given the world to follow,
recall, retain her, when she thus left him : but he would not
give one chance of Heaven ; nor relinquish, for the elysium
of her love, one hope of the true, eternal Paradise. Besides,
he could not bound all that he had in his nature— the rover,
the aspirant, the poet, the priest— -in the limits of a single
450 JANE EYEE
passion. He could npt — he would not — renounce his wild
field of mission warfare for the parlours and the peace of
Yale Hall. I learnt so much from himself, in an inroad I
once, despite his reserve, had the daring to make on his
confidence.
Miss Oliver already honoured me with frequent visits to
my cottage. I had learnt her whole character ; which was
without mystery or disguise : she was coquettish, but not
heartless; exacting, but not worthlessly selfish. She had
been indulged from her birth, but was not absolutely spoilt.
She was hasty, but good-humoured; vain (she could not
help it, when every glance in the glass showed her such a
flush of loveliness), but not affected; liberal-handed; innocent
of the pride of wealth ; ingenuous ; sufficiently intelligent ;
gay, lively, and unthinking: she was very charming, in
short, even to a cool observer of her own sex like me ; but
she was not profoundly interesting or thoroughly impressive.
A very different sort of mind was hers from that, for instance,
of the sisters of St. John. Still, I liked her almost as Hiked
my pupil Adele : except that for a child whom we have
watched over and taught a closer affection is engendered
than we can give an equally attractive adult acquaintance.
She had taken an amiable caprice to me. She said I
was like Mr. Kivers (only, certainly, she allowed, ' not one-
tenth so handsome : though I was a nice neat little soul
enough, but he was an angel '). I was, however, good, clever,
composed, and firm, like him. I was a lusus naturce, she
affirmed, as a village schoolmistress : she was sure my
previous history, if known, would make a delightful
romance.
One evening, while, with her usual childlike activity,
and thoughtless yet not offensive inquisitiveness, she was
rummaging the cupboard and the table-drawer of my little,
kitchen, she discovered first two French books, a volume of
Schiller, a German grammar and dictionary ; and then my
drawing-materials and some 'sketches, including a pencil-
head of a pretty little cherub-like girl, one of my scholars,
JANE EYEE 451
and sundry views from nature, taken in the Vale of Morton
and on the surrounding moors. She was first transfixed
with surprise, and then electrified with delight.
1 Had I done these pictures ? Did 1 know French and
German? What a love— what a miracle I was 1 I drew
better than her master in the first school in S . Would
I sketch a portrait of her, to show to papa ? '
' With pleasure/ I replied ; and I felt a thrill of artist-
delight at the idea of copying from so perfect and radiant a
model. She had then on a dark-blue silk dress ; her arms
and her neck were bare ; her only ornament was her chesnut
tresses, which waved over her shoulders with all the wild
grace of natural curls. I took a sheet of fine cardboard, and
drew a careful outline. I promised myself the pleasure of
colouring it ; and, as it was getting late then, I told her she
must come and sit another day.
She made such a report of me to her father that Mr.
Oliver himself accompanied her next evening — a tall,
massive-featured, middle-aged, and grey-headed man, at
whose side his lovely daughter looked like a blight flower
near a hoary turret. He appeared a taciturn, and perhaps a
proud personage ; but he was very kind to me. The sketch
of Bosamond's portrait pleased him highly : he said I must
make a finished picture of it. He insisted, too, on my
coming the next day to spend the evening at Vale Hall.
I went, I found it a large, handsome residence, showing
abundant evidences of wealth in the proprietor. Bosamond
was full of glee and pleasure all the time I stayed. Her
father was affable ; and when he entered into conversation
with me after tea, he expressed in strong terms his approba-
tion of what I had done in Morton school ; and said he only
feared, from what he saw and heard. I was too good for the
place, and would soon quit it for one more suitable.
' Indeed ! ' cried Eosamond, ( she is clever enough to be a
governess in a high family, papa/
I thought — I would far rather be where I am than in any
high family in the land. Mr. Oliver spoke of Mr. Bivers-—
452 JANE BYEE
of the Eivers family — with great respect. He said it was a
very old name in that neighbourhood ; that the ancestors of
the house were wealthy ; that all Morton had once belonged
to them ; that even now he considered the representative of
that house might, if he liked, make an alliance with the best.
He accounted it a pity that so fine and talented a young man
should have formed the design of going out as a missionary ;
it was quite throwing a valuable life away. It appeared, then,
that her father would throw no obstacle in the way of
Eosamond's union with Sfc. John. Mr. Oliver evidently
regarded the young clergyman's good birth, old name, and
sacred profession as sufficient compensation for the want of
fortune.
It was the 5th of November, and a holiday. My little
servant, after helping me to clean my house, was gone, well
satisfied with the fee of a penny for her aid. All about me
was spotless and bright — scoured floor, polished grate, and
well-rubbed chairs. I had also made myself neat, and had
now the afternoon before me to spend as I would.
The translation of a few pages of German occupied an
houi ; then I got my palette and pencils, and fell to the more
soothing, because easier occupation, of completing Eosamond
Oliver's miniature. The head was finished already: there
was but the background to tint and the drapery to shade off;
a touch of carmine, too, to add to the ripe lips — a soft curl
here and there to the tresses — a deeper tinge to the shadow
of the lash under the azured eyelid. I was absorbed in the
execution of these nice details when, after one rapid tap, my
door unclosed, admitting St. John Eivers.
' I am come to see how you are spending your holiday,'
he said. ' Not, I hope, in thought ? No, that is well : while
you draw you will not feel lonely. You see, I mistrust you
still : though you have borne up wonderfully so far. I have
brought you a book for evening solace,1 and he laid on the
table a new publication — a poem : one of those genuine
productions so often vouchsafed to the fortunate public of
those days—the golden age of modern literature. Alas ! the
JANE EYEE 453
readers of our era are less favoured. But, courage ! I will
not pause either to accuse or repine. I know poetry is not
dead, nor genius lost ; nor has Mammon gained power over
either, to bind or slay : they will both assert their existence,
their presence, their liberty and strength again one day.
Powerful angels, safe in heaven ! they smile when sordid souls
triumph, and feeble ones weep over their destruction. Poetry
destroyed? Genius banished? No! Mediocrity, no: do
not let envy prompt you to the thought. No ; they not only
live, but reign, and redeem: and without their divine
influence spread everywhere you would be in hell — the hell
of your own meanness.
While I was eagerly glancing at the bright pages of
Marmion (for Marmion it was) St. John stooped to examine
my drawing. His tall figure sprang erect again with a start :
he said nothing. I looked up at him : he shunned my eye.
I knew his thoughts well, and could read his heart plainly ;
at the moment I felt calmer and cooler than he : I had then
temporarily the advantage of him ; and I conceived an
inclination to do him some good, if I could.
' With all his firmness and self-control,' thought I, ' he
tasks himself too far : locks every feeling and pang within —
expresses, confesses, imparts nothing. I am sure it would
benefit him to talk a little about this sweet Eosarnond, whom
he thinks he ought not to marry : 1 will make him talk.1
I said first : ' Take a chair, Mr. Eivers.' But he answered,
as he always did, that he could not stay. ' Very well/ I
responded, mentally, ' stand if you like ; but you shall not
go just yet, I am determined: solitude is at least as bad
for you as it is for me. I'll try if I cannot discover the
secret spring of your confidence, and find an aperture in that
marble breast through which I can shed one drop of the balm
of sympathy.'
' Is this portrait like ? ' I asked bluntly.
' Like ! Like whom ? I did not observe it closely.'
' You did, Mr. Eivers.'
He almost started at my sudden and strange abruptness :
454 JANE EYEE
he looked at me astonished. ' Oh, that is nothing yet/ I
muttered within. 'I don't mean to be baffled by a little
stiffness on your part ; I'm prepared to go to considerable
lengths/ I continued, ' You observed it closely and dis-
tinctly : but I have no objection to your looking at it again,1
and I rose and placed it in his hand.
' A well-executed picture/ he said ; ' very soft, clear colour-
ing ; very graceful and correct drawing/
' Yes, yes ; I know all that. But what of the resemblance ?
Who is it like?1
Mastering some hesitation, he answered, ' Miss Oliver, I
presume/
' Of course. And now, sir, to reward you for the accurate
guess I will promise to paint you a careful and faithful
duplicate of this very picture, provided you admit that the
gift would be acceptable to you. I don't wish to throw away
my time and trouble on an offering you would deem worth-
less/
He continued to gaze at the picture : the longer he looked,
the firmer he held it, the more he seemed to covet it. ' It is
like ! ' he murmured ; ' the eye is well managed : the colour,
light, expression, are perfect. It smiles ! '
1 Would it comfort or would it wound you to have a
similar painting ? Tell me that. When you are at Mada-
gascar, or at the Cape, or in India, would it be a consolation
to have that memento in your possession ? or would the sight
of it bring recollections calculated to enervate and dis-
tress?'
He now furtively raised his eyes: he glanced at me,
irresolute, disturbed ; he again surveyed the picture.
* That I should like to have it is certain : whether it
would be judicious or wise is another question/
Since I had ascertained that Eosamond really preferred
him, and that her father was not likely to oppose the match,
I — less exalted in my views than St. John — had been strongly
disposed in my own heart to advocate their union. It seemed
to me that, should he become the possessor of Mr. Oliver's
JANE EYEE 455
large fortune, he might do as much good with it as if he
went and laid his genius out to wither and his strength to
waste under a tropical sun. With this persuasion I now
answered : — ' As far as I can see, it would be wiser and more
judicious if you were to take to yourself the original at
once/
By this time he had sat down : he had laid the picture on
the table before him, and with his brow supported on both
hands hung fondly over it. I discerned he was now neither
angry nor shocked at my audacity. I saw even that to be thus
frankly addressed on a subject he had deemed unapproach-
able— to hear it thus freely handled — was beginning to be
felt by him as a new pleasure — an unhoped-for relief.
Eeservccl people often really need the frank discussion of
their sentiments and griefs more than the expansive. The
sternest- seeming stoic is human after all; and to 'burst'
with boldness and goodwill into 'the silent sea* of their
souls is often to confer on them the first of obligations.
1 She likes you, I am sure/ said I, as 1 stood behind his
chair, 'and her father respects you. Moreover, she is a sweet
girl — rather thoughtless; but you would have sufficient
thought for both yourself and her. You ought to mairy
her/
' Does she like me ? ' he asked.
'Certainly; better than she likes any one else. She
talks of you continually : there is no subject she enjoys so
much or touches upon so often/
' It is very pleasant to hear this,' he said—' very : go on
for another quarter of an hour/ And he actually took out
his watch and laid it upon the table to measure the time.
'But where is the use of going on,' I asked, ' when you
are probably preparing some iron blow of contradiction, or
forging a fresh chain to fetter your heart ? '
'Don't imagine such hard things. Fancy me yielding
and melting, as I am doing : human love rising like a freshly
opened fountain in ray mind and overflowing with sweet
inundation all the field I have so carefully, and with such
456 JANE EYEE
labour prepared— so assiduously sown with the seeds of good
intentions, of self-denying plans. And now it is deluged
with a nectarous flood — the young germs swamped — delicious
poison cankering them : now I see myself stretched on an
ottoman in the drawing-room at Vale Hall, at my bride
Eosamond Oliver's feet : she is talking to me with her sweet
voice — gazing down on me with those eyes your skilful hand
has copied so well — smiling at me with these coral lips. She
is mine — I am hers — this present life and passing world
suffice to me. Hush ! say nothing — my heart is full of delight
— my senses are entranced — let the time I marked pass in
peace/
I humoured him : the watch ticked on : he breathed fast
and low : I stood silent. Amidst this hush the quarter
sped ; he replaced the watch, laid the picture down, rose,
and stood on the hearth.
' Now,' said he, ' that little space was given to delirium
and delusion. I rested my temples on the breast of tempta-
tion, and put my nock voluntarily under her yoke of flowers ;
I tasted her cup. The pillow was burning ; there is an asp
in the garland ; the wine has a bitter taste ; her promises
are hollow — her offers false ; I see and know all this.'
I gazed at him in wonder.
' It is strange,1 pursued he, ' that while I love Eosamond
Oliver so wildly — with all the intensity, indeed, of a first
passion, the object of which is exquisitely beautiful, grace-
ful, and fascinating — I experience at the same time a calm,
unwarped consciousness that she would not make me a
good wife ; that she is not the partner suited to me ; that I
should discover this within a year after marriage ; and that
to twelve months' rapture would succeed a lifetime of regret.
This I know/
1 Strange, indeed ! ' I could not help ejaculating.
' While something in me/ he went on, ' is acutely sensible
to her charms, something else is as deeply impressed with
her defects; they are such that she could sympathise in
nothing I aspired to — co-operate in nothing I undertook.
JANE EYEE 457
Rosamond a sufferer, a labourer, a female apostle ? Rosa-
mond a missionary's wife ? No I '
'But you need not be a missionary. You might
relinquish that scheme.'
' Relinquish ! What ! my vocation ? My great work ?
My foundation laid on earth for a mansion in heaven ? My
hopes of being numbered in the band who have merged all
ambitions in the glorious one of bettering their race — of
carrying knowledge into the realms of ignorance — of substi-
tuting peace for war — freedom for bondage — religion for
superstition — the hope of heaven for the fear of hell ? Must
I relinquish that ? It is dearer than the blood in my veins.
It is what I have to look forward to and to live for/
After a considerable pause, I said, — 'And Miss Oliver?
Are her disappointment and sorrow of no interest to you ? f
1 Miss Oliver is ever surrounded by suitors and flatterers ;
in less than a month my image will be effaced from her
heart. She will forget me ; and will marry, probably, some
one who will make her far happier than I should do.'
' You speak coolly enough ; but you suffer in the conflict.
You are wasting away.'
' No. If I get a little thin, it is with anxiety about my
prospects, yet unsettled — my departure, continually pro-
crastinated. Only this morning I received intelligence that
the successor, whose arrival I have been so long expecting,
cannot be ready to replace me for three months to come yet ;
and perhaps the three months may extend to six.'
' You tremble and become flushed whenever Miss Oliver
enters the school-room/
Again the surprised expression crossed his face. He had
not imagined that a woman would dare to speak so to a
man. For me, I felt at home in this sort of discourse. I
could never rest in communication with strong, discreet, and
refined minds, whether male or female, till I had passed the
outworks of conventional reserve, and crossed the threshold
of confidence, and won a place by their heart's very hearth-
stone.
1 You are original, ' said he, ' and not timid. There is
458 JANE EYEE
something brave in your spirit, as well as penetrating in
your eye; but allow me to assure you that you partially
misinterpret my emotions. You think them more profound
and potent than they are. You give me a larger allowance
of sympathy than I have a just claim to. When I colour,
and when I shake before Miss Oliver, I do not pity myself.
I scorn the weakness. I know it is ignoble ; a mere fever
of the flesh : not, I declare, a convulsion of the soul. That
is just as fixed as a rock firm set in the depths of a restless
sea. Know me to be what I am — a cold, hard man/
I smiled incredulously.
1 You have taken my confidence by storm/ he continued :
1 and now it is much at your service. I am simply, in my
original state— stripped of that blood- bleached robe with
which Christianity covers human deformity — a cold, hard,
ambitious man. Natural affection only, of all the sentiments,
has permanent power over me. Eeason, and not Feeling, is
my guide : my ambition is unlimited ; my desire to rise
higher, to do more than others, insatiable. I honour endur-
ance, perseverance, industry, talent ; because these are the
means by which men achieve great ends and mount to lofty
eminence. I watch your career with interest, because I
consider you a specimen of a diligent, orderly, energetic
woman ; not because I deeply compassionate what you have
gone through, or what you still suffer/
'You would describe yourself as a mere pagan philo-
sopher/ I said.
' No. There is this difference between me and deistic
philosophers : I believe ; and I believe the Gospel. You
missed your epithet. I am not a pagan, but a Christian
philosopher — a follower of the sect of Jesus. As His disciple
I adopt His pure, His merciful, His benignant doctrines. I
advocate them : I am sworn to spread them. Won in youth
to religion, she has cultivated my original qualities thus : —
From the minute germ, natural affection, she has developed
the overshadowing tree, philanthropy. From the wild,
stringy root of human uprightness, she has reared a due sense
JANE EYEE 459
of the Divine justice. Of the ambition to win power and
renown for my wretched self, she has formed the ambition
to spread my Master's kingdom ; to achieve victories for the
standard of the cross. So much has religion done for me ;
turning the original materials to the best account ; pruning
and training nature. But she could not eradicate nature :
nor will it be eradicated "till this mortal shall put on
immortality." '
Having said this, he took his hat, which lay on the table
beside my palette. Once more he looked at the portrait.
1 She is lovely/ he murmured. ' She is well named the
Eose of the World, indeed ! '
'And may I not paint one like it for you ? '
1 Cm boiw? No.'
He drew over the picture the sheet of thin paper on
which I was accustomed to rest my hand in painting to
prevent the cardboard from being sullied. What he
suddenly saw on this blank paper it was impossible for me
to tell : but something had caught his eye. He took it up
with a snatch ; he looked at the edge ; then shot a glance at
me, inexpressibly peculiar and quite incomprehensible : a
glance that seemed to take and make note of every point in
my shape, face, and dress ; for it traversed all, quick, keen as
lightning. His lips parted, as if to speak : but he checked
the coming sentence, whatever it was.
' What is the matter? ' I asked.
1 Nothing in the world/ was the reply ; and, replacing
the paper, I saw him dexterously tear a narrow slip from the
margin. It disappeared in his glove ; and, with one hasty
nod and ' good-afternoon/ he vanished.
' Well 1 ' I exclaimed, using an expression of the district,
1 that caps the globe, however ! '
I, in my turn, scrutinised the paper, but saw nothing on
it save a few dingy stains of paint where I had tried the tint
in my pencil. I pondered the mystery a minute or two ;
but finding it insolvable, and being certain it could not be of
much moment, I dismissed and soon forgot it.
460 JANE EYBE
CHAPTEE XXXIII
WHEN Mr. St. John went it was beginning to snow; the
whirling storm continued all night. The next day a keen
wind brought fresh and blinding falls; by twilight the
valley was drifted up and almost impassable. I had closed
my shutter, laid «, mat to the door to prevent the snow
from blowing in under it, trimmed my fire, and after sitting
nearly an hour on the hearth listening to the muffled
fury of the tempest, I lit a candle, took down Marmion, and
beginning —
Day set on Norham's castled steep,
And Tweed's fair river broad and deep,
And Cheviot's mountains lone ;
The massive towers, the donjon keep,
The flanking walls that round them sweep,
In yellow lustre shone,
I soon forgot storm in music.
I heard a noise : the wind, I thought, shook the door.
No ; it was St. John Eivers, who, lifting the latch, came
in out of the frozen hurricane — the howling darkness —
and stood before me : the cloak that covered his tall figure
all white as a glacier. I was almost in consternation ; so
little had I expected any guest from the blocked-up vale
that night.
' Any ill news ? ' I demanded. € Has anything
happened ? '
' No. How very easily alarmed you are 1 ' he answered,
removing his cloak and hanging it up against the door,
towards which he again coolly pushed the mat which his
entrance had deranged. He stamped the snow from his
boots.
JANE EYEE 461
'I shall sully the purity of your floor/ ^pid he, 'but
you must excuse me for once * Then he approached the
fire: 'I have had hard work to get heie, I assure you/
he observed, as he warmed his hands over the flame. ' One
drift took me up to the waist ; happily the snow is quite
soft yet/
' But why are you come ? ' I could not forbear saying.
1 Bather an inhospitable question to put to a visitor ; bpt
since you ask it, I answer simply to have a little talk with
you; I got tired of my mute books and empty rooms.
Besides, since yesterday I have experienced the excitement
of a person to whom a tale has been half -told, and who is
impatient to hear the sequel."
He sat down. I recalled his singular conduct of yester-
day, and really I began to fear his wits were touched. If
he were insane, however, his was a very cool and collected
insanity : I had never seen that handsome-featured face of
his look more like chiselled marble than it did just now, as
he put aside his snow-wet hair from his forehead and let
the firelight shino free on his pale brow and cheek as pale,
where it grieved me to discover the hollow trace of care or
sorrow now so plainly graved. I waited, expecting he
would say something I could at least comprehend ; but his
hand was now at his chin, his finger on his lip: he was
thinking. It struck me that his hand looked wasted like his
face. A perhaps uncalled-for gush ol pity came over my
heart : I was moved to say : — ' I wish Diana or Mary would
come and live with you : it is too bad that you should be
quite alone; and you are recklessly rash about your own
health/
1 Not at all/ said he : ' I care ior myselt when necessary ;
I am well now. What do you see amiss in me ? '
This was said with a careless, abstracted indifference,
which showed that my solicitude was, at least in his opinion,
wholly superfluous. I was silenced.
He still slowly moved his finger over his upper lip,
and still his eye dwelt dreamily on the glowing grate.
462 JANE EYBE
Thinking it urgent to say something, I asked him presently
if he felt any cold draught from the door, which was behind
him.
1 No, no/ he responded, shortly and somewhat testily.
' Well,' I reflected, ' if you won't talk, you may be still ;
I'll let you alone now, and return to my book.'
So I snuffed the candle, and resumed the perusal of
Marmion. He soon stirred ; my eye was instantly drawn to
his movements ; he only took out a morocco pocket-book,
thence produced a letter, which he read in silence, folded it,
put it back, relapsed into meditation. It was vain to try to
read with such an inscrutable fixture before me ; nor could
I, in my impatience, consent to be dumb ; he might rebuff
me if he liked, but talk I would.
1 Have you heard from Diana and Mary lately ? '
•' Not since the letter I showed you a week ago.1
' There has not been any change made about your own
arrangements ? You will not be summoned to leave England
sooner than you expected ? '
' I fear not, indeed : such chance is too good to befall me.'
Baffled so far I changed my ground — I bethought myself to
talk about the school and my scholars.
1 Mary Garrett's mother is better, and Mary came back to
the school this morning, and I shall have four new girls
next week from the Foundry Close — they would have come
to-day but for the snow.'
'Indeed!'
c Mr. Oliver pays for two.'
'Does he?'
' He means to give the whole school a treat at Christmas/
' 1 know.1
' Was it your suggestion ? '
'No.'
'Whose, then?1
' His daughter's, I think.1
' It is like her : she is so good-natured.'
'Yes.'
JANE EYKB 463
Again came the blank of a pause : the clock struck eight
strokes. It aroused him ; he uncrossed his legs, sat erect,
turned to me.
1 Leave your book a moment, and come a little nearer the
fire/ he said.
Wondering, and of my wonder finding no end, I complied.
1 Half an hour ago/ he pursued, ' I spoke of my impatience
to hear the sequel of a tale : on reflection, I find the matter
will be better managed by my assuming the narrator's part,
and converting you into a listener. Before commencing it
is but fair to warn you that the story will sound somewhat
hackneyed in your ears : but stale details often regain a
degree of freshness when they pass through new lips. For
the rest, whether trite or novel, it is short.
1 Twenty years ago a poor curate — never mind his name
at this moment — fell in love with a rich man's daughter ; she
fell in love with him, and married him, against the advice of
all her friends ; who consequently disowned her immediately
after the wedding. Before two years passed the rash pair
were both dead, and laid quietly side by side under one slab.
(I have seen their grave ; it formed part of the pavement of
a huge churchyard surrounding the grim, soot-black old
cathedral of an overgrown manufacturing town in shire.
They left a daughter, which, at its very birth, Charity received
in her lap — cold as that of the snow-drift I almost stuck
fast in to-night. Charity carried the friendless tiling to the
house of its rich maternal relations ; it was reared by an
aunt-in-law called (I come to names now) Mrs. Beed, of
Gateshead — you start — did you hear a noise ? I daresay it
is only a rat scrambling along the rafters of the adjoining
schoolroom : it was a barn before I had it repaired and
altered, and barns are generally haunted by rats. — To proceed.
Mrs. Eeed kept the orphan ten years : whether it was happy
or not with her I cannot say, never having been told ; but at
the end of that time she transferred it to a place you know —
being no other than Lowood School, where you so long
resided yourself. It seems her career there was very honour-
464 JANE EYKE
able: from a pupil she became a teacher, like yourself —
really it strikes me there are parallel points in her history
and yours — she left it to be a governess : there, again, your
fates were analogous ; she undertook the education of the
ward of a certain Mr. Bochester.'
' Mr. Kivers ! ' I interrupted.
1 1 can guess your feelings/ he said, ' but restrain them
for a while : I have nearly finished ; hear me to the end. Of
Mr. Bochester's character I know nothing, but the one fact
that he professed to offer honourable marriage to this young
girl, and that at the very altar she discovered he had a wife
yet alive, though a lunatic. What his subsequent conduct
and proposals were is a matter of pure conjecture ; but when
an event transpired which rendered inquiry after the
governess necessary, it was discovered she was gone — no one
could tell when, where, or how. She had left Thornfield
Hall in the night ; every research after her course had been
vain : the country had been scoured far and wide ; no vestige
of information could be gathered respecting her. Yet that
she should be found is become a matter of serious urgency :
advertisements have been put in all the papers ; I myself
have received a letter from one Mr. Briggs, a solicitor, com-
municating the details I have just imparted. Is it not an
odd tale ? '
* Just tell me this/ said I, ' and since you know so much
you surely can tell it mo — what of Mr. Bochester ? How
and where is he ? What is he doing ? Is he well ? '
1 1 am ignorant of all concerning Mr. Bochester : the
letter never mentions him but to narrate the fraudulent and
illegal attempt I have adverted to. You should rather ask
the name of the governess — the nature of the event which
requires her appearance.1
'Did no one go to Thornfield Hall then? Did no one
see Mr. Bochester ? '
' I suppose not.'
' But they wrote to him ? '
* Of course/
JANE EYEE 465
' And what did he say ? Who has his letters ? '
' Mr. Briggs intimates that the answer to his application
was not from Mr. Eochester, but from a lady : it is signed
" Alice Fairfax." '
I felt cold and dismayed : my worst fears then were
probably true : he had in all probability left England, and
rushed in reckless desperation to some former haunt on the
Continent. And what opiate for his severe sufferings — what
object for his strong passions- -had he sought there ? I
dared not answer the question. Oh, my poor master-
once almost my husband — whom 1 had often called * my
dear Edward ! '
' He must have been a bad man,' observed Mr. Bivers.
* You don't know him —don't pronounce an opinion upon
him,' I said, with warmth.
' Very well,' he answered, quietly : ' and indeed my head
is otherwise occupied than with him : I have my tale to
finish. Since you won't ask the governess's name, I must
tell it of my own accord — stay — I have it here — it is always
more satisfactory to see important points written down,
fairly committed to black and white.'
And the pocket-book was again deliberately produced,
opened, sought through; from one of its compartments was
extracted a shabby slip of paper, hastily torn off : I recognised
in its texture and its stains of ultramarine and lake and
vermilion the ravished margin of the portrait-cover. He
got up, held it close to my eyes : and I read, traced in Indian
ink, in my own handwriting, the words ' Jane Eyie ' — the
work doubtless of some moment of abstraction.
' Briggs wrote to me of a Jane Eyre,' he said ; ' the
advertisements demanded a Jane Eyre: I knew a Jane
Elliott. — I confess I had my suspicions, but it was only
yesterday afternoon they were at once resolved into certainty.
You own the name and renounce the alias ? '
' Yes — yes— but where is Mr. Briggs ? He perhaps knows
more of Mr. Eochester than you do.'
' Briggs is in London ; I should doubt his knowing any-
466 JANE EYEB
thing at all about Mr. Eochester ; it is not in Mr. Eochester
he is interested. Meantime you forget essential points in
pursuing trifles : you do not inquire why Mr. Briggs sought
after you — what he wanted with you.'
' Well, what did he want ? '
1 Merely to tell you that your uncle, Mr. Eyre of Madeira,
is dead ; that he has left you all his property, and that you
are now rich — merely that — nothing more.'
' I ! rich ? '
' Yes, you, rich — quite an heiress.'
Silence succeeded.
' You must prove your identity, of course,' resumed St.
John, presently : ' a step which will offer no difficulties : you
can then enter on immediate possession. Your fortune is
vested in the English funds ; Briggs has the will and the
necessary documents.'
Here was a new card turned up ! It is a fine thing,
reader, to be lifted in a moment from indigence to wealth —
a very fine thing : but not a matter one can comprehend, or
consequently enjoy, all at once. And then there are other
chances in life far more thrilling and rapture- giving ; this is
solid, an affair of the actual world, nothing ideal about it :
all its associations are solid and sober, and its manifestations
are the same. One does not jump, and spring, and shout
hurrah 1 at hearing one has got a fortune; one begins to
consider responsibilities and to ponder business ; on a base
of steady satisfaction rise certain grave cares — and we con-
tain ourselves, and brood over our bliss with a solemn brow.
Besides, the words Legacy, Bequest, go side by side with
the words Death, Funeral. My uncle I had heard was dead —
my only relative ; ever since being made aware of his exist-
ence I had cherished the hope of one day seeing him : now,
I never should. And then this money came only to me : not
to me and a rejoicing family, but to my isolated self. It
was a grand boon doubtless ; and independence would be
glorious — yes, I felt ih&t—that thought swelled my heart.
* You unbend your forehead at last/ said Mr. Bivers : ' I
JANE EYBB 467
thought Medusa had looked at you, and that you were turning
to stone — perhaps now you will ask how much you are
worth ? '
' How much am I worth ? '
'Oh, a trifle! Nothing of course to speak of — twenty
thousand pounds, I think they say — but what is that ? '
1 Twenty thousand pounds ? '
Here was a new stunner — I had been calculating on four
or five thousand. This news actually took rny breath for a
moment: Mr. St. John, whom I had never heard laugh
before, laughed now.
' Well,' said he, ' if you had committed a murder, and I
had told you your crime was discovered, you could scarcely
look more aghast.'
* It is a large sum — don't you think there is a mistake ? '
1 No mistake at all.1
'Perhaps you have read the figures wrong — it may be
2,000!'
' It is written in letters, not figures, — twenty thousand.'
I again felt rather like an individual of but average
gastronomical powers sitting down to feast alone at a table
spread with provisions for a hundred. Mr. Eivers rose now
and put his cloak on.
' If it were not such a very wild night,' he said, ' I would
send Hannah down to keep you company: you look too
desperately miserable to be left alone. But Hannah, poor
woman ! could not stride the drifts so well as I : her legs are
not quite so long : so I must e'en leave you to your sorrows.
Good-night.'
He was lifting the latch : a sudden thought occurred to
me.
' Stop one minute ! ' I cried,
'Well?'
'It puzzles me to know why Mr. Briggs wrote to you
about me ; or how he knew you, or could fancy that you,
living in such an out-of-the-way place, had the power to aid
in my discovery.'
468 JANE EYBE
1 Oh 1 lama clergyman/ he said ; ' and the clergy are
often appealed to about odd matters.'
Again the latch rattled.
' No : that does not satisfy me 1 ' I exclaimed : and,
indeed, there was something in the hasty and unexplanatory
reply which, instead of allaying, piqued my curiosity more
than ever.
' It is a very strange piece of business/ I added. ' I must
know more about it/
1 Another time.'
' No : to-night ! — to-night ! ' and as he turned from the
door I placed myself between it and him. He looked rather
embarrassed.
I You certainly shall not go till you have told me all 1 ' 1
said.
I 1 would rather not, just now.'
* You shall ! — you must ! '
' I would rather Diana or Mary informed you.'
Of course these objections wrought my eagerness to a
climax : gratified it must be, and that without delay ; and I
told him so.
' But I apprised you that I was a hard man/ said he ;
' difficult to persuade.'
1 And I ain a hard woman, — impossible to put off.'
' And then/ he pursued, ' I am cold : no fervour infects
me.'
1 Whereas I am hot, and fire dissolves ice. The blaze
there has thawed all the snow from your cloak ; by the same
token it has streamed on to my floor, and made it like a
trampled street. As you hope ever to be forgiven, Mr.
Rivers, the high crime and misdemeanour of .spoiling a sanded
kitchen, tell me what I wish to know.'
1 Well, then/ he said, ' I yield ; if not to your earnestness,
to your perseverance : as stone is worn by continual dropping.
Besides, you must know some day, — as well now as later.
Your name is Jane Eyre ? '
1 Of course : that was all settled before/
JANE EYEE 469
1 You are not, perhaps, aware that I am your namesake ?
— that I was christened St. John Eyre Bivers ? '
1 No, indeed ! I remember now seeing the letter E
comprised in your initials written in books you have at
different times lent me ; but I never asked for what name it
stood. But what then? Surely1
I stopped : I could not trust myself to entertain, much
less to express, the thought that rushed upon me — tha*
embodied itself, — that, in a second, stood out a strong, solid
probability. Circumstances knit themselves, fitted them*
selves, shot into order: the chain that had been lying
hitherto a formless lump of links was drawn out straight, —
every ring was perfect, the connection complete. I knew,
by instinct, how the matter stood before St. John had said
another word : but I cannot expect the reader to have the
same intuitive perception, so I must repeat his explanation,
' My mother's name was Eyre ; she had two brothers;
one a clergyman, who married Miss Jane Keed, of Gates-
head ; the other, John Eyre, Esq., merchant, late of
Funchal, Madeira. Mr. Briggs, being Mr. Eyre's solicitor,
wrote to us last August to inform us of our uncle's death ;
and to say that he had left his property to his brother the
clergyman's orphan daughter ; overlooking us, in conse-
quence of a quarrel, never forgiven, between him and my
father. He wrote again a few weeks since, to intimate that
the heiress was lost ; and asking if we knew anything of her.
A name casually written on a slip of paper has enabled me
to find her out. You know the rest/ Again he was going,
but I set my back against the door.
1 Do let me speak/ I said ; ' let me have one moment to
draw breath and reflect/ I paused — he stood before me, hat
in hand, looking composed enough. I resumed : ' Your
mother was my father's sister ? '
1 Yes/
' My aunt, consequently ? '
He bowed.
'My uncle John was your uncle John? You, Diana
470 JANE EYEB
and Mary, are his sister's children; as I am his brother's
child?'
' Undeniably.'
' You three, then, are my cousins ; half our blood on each
side flows from the same source ? '
1 We are cousins ; yes.'
I surveyed him. It seemed I had found a brother : one
I could be proud of, — one I could love ; and two sisters
whose qualities were such that, when I knew them but as
mere strangers, they had inspired me with genuine affection
and admiration. The two girls on whom, kneeling down
on the wet ground, and looking through the low, latticed
window of Moor House kitchen, I had gazed with so
bitter a mixture of interest and despair were my near kins-
women ; and the young and stately gentleman who had
found me almost dying at his threshold was my blood
relation. Glorious discovery to a lonely wretch ! This was
wealth indeed I — wealth to the heart ! — a mine of pure,
genial affections. This was a blessing, bright, vivid, and
exhilarating ; — not like the ponderous gift of gold : rich and
welcome enough in its way, but sobering from its weight. I
now clapped my hands in sudden joy — my pulse bounded,
my veins thrilled.
1 Oh, I am glad 1 — I am glad ! ' I exclaimed.
St. John smiled. ' Did I not say you neglected essential
points to pursue trifles?' he asked. 'You were serious
when I told you you had got a fortune ; and now, for a
matter of no moment, you are excited.'
* What can you mean ? It may be of no moment to you ;
you have sisters, and don't care for a cousin ; but I had
nobody; and now three relations, — or two, if you don't
choose to be counted, — are born into my world full grown.
I say again, I am glad ! '
I walked fast through the room : I stopped, half suffo-
cated with the thoughts that rose faster than I could receive,
comprehend, settle them : — thoughts of what might, could,
would, and should be, and that ere long. I looked at the
JANE EYEB 471
blank wall : it seemed a sky, thick with ascending stars, —
every one lit me to a purpose or delight. Those who had
saved my life, whom till this hour I had loved barrenly, I
could now benefit. They were under a yoke : I could free
them : they were scattered, — I could reunite them — the
independence, the affluence which was mine might be theirs
too. Were we not four? Twenty thousand pounds shared
equally would be five thousand each, enough and to spare :
justice would be done, — mutual happiness secured. Now
the wealth did not weigh on me : now it was not a mere
bequest of coin, — it was a legacy of life, hope, enjoyment.
How I looked while these ideas were taking my spirit by
storm I cannot tell ; but I perceived soon that Mr. Eivers
had placed a chair behind me, and was gently attempting to
make me sit down on it. He also advised me to be com-
posed: I scorned the insinuation of helplessness and
distraction, shook off his hand, and began to walk about
again.
1 Write to Diana and Mary to-morrow/ I said, 'and tell
them to come home directly; Diana said they would both
consider themselves rich with a thousand pounds, so with
five thousand they will do very well.1
' Tell me where I can get you a glass of water,' said
St. John; 'you must really make an effort to tranquillise
your feelings/
1 Nonsense 1 and what sort of an effect will the bequest
have on you ? Will it keep you in England, induce you to
marry Miss Oliver, and settle down like an ordinary
mortal?'
' You wander : your head becomes confused. I have
been too abrupt in communicating the news ; it has excited
you beyond your strength/
' Mr. Bivers I you quite put me out of patience ; I am
rational enough ; it is you who misunderstand ; or rather who
affect to misunderstand/
1 Perhaps if you explained yourself a little more fully I
should comprehend better/
472 JANE EYEB
' Explain 1 What is there to explain ? You cannot fail
to see that twenty thousand pounds, the sum in question,
divided equally between the nephew and three nieces of our
uncle will give five thousand to each? What I want is,
that you should write to your sisters and tell them of the
fortune that has accrued to them.'
' To you, you mean.1
' I have intimated my view of the case : I am incapable
of taking any other. I am not brutally selfish, blindly
unjust, or fiendishly ungrateful. Besides, I am resolved I
will have a home and connections. I like Moor House, and
I will live at Moor House ; I like Diana and Mary, and I
will attach myself for life to Diana and Mary. It would
please and benefit me to have five thousand pounds; it
would torment and oppress me to have twenty thousand ;
which, moreover, could never be mine in justice, though it
might in law. I abandon to you, then, what is absolutely
superfluous to me. Let there be no opposition, and no
discussion about it ; let us agree amongst each other, and
decide the point at once.'
1 This is acting on first impulses ; you must take days to
consider such a matter, ere your word can be regarded as
valid.'
1 Oh 1 if all you doubt is my sincerity, I am easy : you see
the justice of the case ? '
' I do see a certain justice ; but it is contrary to all
custom. Besides, the entire fortune is your right : my uncle
gained it by his own efforts ; he was free to leave it to whom
he would : he left it to you. After all, justice permits you
to keep it: you may, with a clear conscience, consider it
absolutely your own.'
' With me,' said I, ' it is fully as much a matter of feeling
as of conscience : I must indulge my feelings ; I so seldom
have had an opportunity of doing so. Were you to argue,
object, and annoy me for a year, I could not forego the
delicious pleasure of which I have caught a glimpse — that of
repaying, in part, a mighty obligation, and winning to myself
life-long friends.'
JANE EYEE 473
' You think so now/ rejoined St. John ; ' because you do
not know what it is to possess, nor consequently to enjoy
wealth : you cannot form a notion of the importance twenty
thousand pounds would give you; of the place it would
enable you to take in society ; of the prospects it would open
to you : you cannot '
'And you/ I interrupted, 'cannot at all imagine the
craving I have for fraternal and sisterly love. I never had a
home, I never had brothers or sisters; I must and will
have them now : you are not reluctant to admit me and own
me, are you ? '
' Jane : I will be your brother — my sisters will be your
sisters — without stipulating for this sacrifice of your just
rights.'
' Brother ? Yes ; at the distance of a thousand leagues 1
Sisters ? Yes ; slaving amongst strangers ! I, wealthy —
gorged with gold I never earned and do not merit ! You,
penniless ! Famous equality and fraternisation ! Close
union ! Intimate attachment ! '
' But, Jane, your aspirations after family ties and
domestic happiness may be realised otherwise than by the
means you contemplate : you may marry/
' Nonsense again 1 Marry 1 I don't want to marry, and
never shall marry/
' That is saying too much : such hazardous affirmations
are a proof of the excitement under which you labour/
' It is not saying too much : I know what I feel, and how
averse are my inclinations to the bare thought of marriage.
No one would take me for love ; and I will not be regarded
in the light of a mere money-speculation. And I do not
want a stranger — unsympathising alien, different from me ;
I want my kindred : those with whom I have full fellow-
feeling. Say again you will be my brother : when you
uttered the words I was satisfied, happy; repeat them, if
you can repeat them sincerely/
' I think I can. I know I have always loved my own
sisters ; and I know on what my affection for them is
474 JANE EYES
grounded, — respect for their worth and admiration of their
talents. You too have principle and mind : your tastes and
habits resemble Diana's and Mary's; your presence is
always agreeable to me; in your conversation I have
already for some time found a salutary solace. I feel I can
easily and naturally make room in my heart for you, as my
third and youngest sister/
1 Thank you : that contents me for to-night. Now you
had better go ; for if you stay longer you will perhaps
irritate me afresh by some mistrustful scruple.'
1 And the school, Miss Eyre ? It must now be shut up,
I suppose ? '
' No. I will retain my post of mistress till you got a
substitute.1
He smiled approbation: we shook hands, and he took
leave.
I need not narrate in detail the further struggles I
had and arguments I used to get matters regarding the
legacy settled as I wished. My task was a very hard one :
but, as I was absolutely resolved — as my cousins saw at
length that my mind was really and immutably fixed on
making a just division of the property— as they must in
their own hearts have felt the equity of the intention ; and
must, besides, have been innately conscious that in my place
they would have done precisely what I wished to do — they
yielded at length so far as to consent to put the affair to
arbitration. The judges chosen were Mr. Oliver and an able
lawyer : both coincided in my opinion : I carried my point.
The instruments of transfer were drawn out : St. John,
Diana, Mary, and I, each became possessed of a competency.
JANE EYRE 475
CHAPTEE XXXIV
IT was near Christmas by the time all was settled : the
season of general holiday approached. I now closed Morton
school, taking care that the parting should not he barren
on my side. Good fortune opens the hand as well as the
heart wonderfully; and to give somewhat when we have
largely received, is but to afford a vent to the unusual
ebullition of the sensations. I had long felt with pleasure
that many of my rustic scholars liked me, and when we
parted that consciousness was confirmed: they manifested
their affection plainly and strongly. Deep was my gratifica-
tion to find I had really a place in their unsophisticated
hearts : I promised them that never a week should pass in
future that I did not visit them, and give them an hour's
teaching in their school.
Mr. Rivers came up, as — having seen the classes, now
numbering sixty girls, file out before me, and locked the door
— I stood with the key in my hand, exchanging a few words
of special farewell with some half-dozen of my best scholars :
as decent, respectable, modest, and well-informed young
women as could be found in the ranks of the British
peasantry. And that is saying a great deal; for after all
the British peasantry are the best taught, best mannered,
most self-respecting of any in Europe : since those days I
have seen paysannes and Bauerinnen : and the best of them
seemed to me ignorant, coarse, and besotted, compared with
my Morton girls.
1 Do you consider you have got your reward for a season
of exertion?1 asked Mr. Rivers when they were gone.
476 JANE EYEE
' Does not the consciousness of having done some real good
in your day and generation give pleasure ? '
' Doubtless/
1 And you have only toiled a few months ! Would not a
life devoted to the task of regenerating your race be well
spent?'
1 Yes/ I said ; ' but I could not go on for ever so : I want
to enjoy my own faculties as well as to cultivate those of
other people. I must enjoy them now ; don't recall either
my mind or body to the school : I am out of it, and disposed
for full holiday."
He looked grave. 'What now? What sudden eager-
ness is this you evince ? What are you going to do ? '
' To be active : as active as I can. And first I must beg
you to set Hannah at liberty, and get somebody else to wait
on you.'
' Do you want her ? '
1 Yes, to go with me to Moor House : Diana and Mary
will be at home in a week, and I want to have everything in
order against their arrival.'
' I understand : I thought you were for flying off on
some excursion. It is better so : Hannah shall go with you.'
' Tell her to be ready by to-morrow then ; and here is
the schoolroom key : I will give you the key of my cottage
in the morning.'
He took it. ' You give it up very gleefully/ said he : ' I
don't quite understand your light-heartedness ; because I
cannot tell what employment you propose to yourself as a
substitute for the one you are relinquishing. What aim,
what purpose, what ambition in life have you now ? '
' My first aim will be to clean down (do you comprehend
the full force of the expression ?) to clean down Moor House
from chamber to cellar ; my next to rub it up with beeswax,
oil, and an indefinite number of cloths, till it glitters again ;
my third, to arrange every chair, table, bed, carpet, with
mathematical precision ; afterwards I shall go near to ruin
you in coals and peat to keep up good fires in every room ;
JANE EYRE 477
and lastly, the two days preceding that on which your
sisters are expected will be devoted by Hannah and me to
such a beating of eggs, sorting of currants, grating of spices,
compounding of Christmas cakes, chopping up of materials
for mince-pies, and solemnising of other culinary rites, as
words can convey but an inadequate notion of to the
uninitiated like you. My purpose, in short, is to have all
things in an absolutely perfect state of readiness for Diana
and Mary before next Thursday ; and my ambition is to
give them a beau-ideal of a welcome when they come.'
St. John smiled slightly : still he was dissatisfied.
'It is all very well for the present/ said he: 'but
seriously, I trust that when the first flush of vivacity is
over you will look a little higher than domestic endear-
ments and households joys.'
' The best things the world has ! ' I interrupted.
' No, Jane, no : this world is not the scene of fruition ;
do not attempt to make it so : nor of rest ; do not turn slothful.'
' I mean, on the contrary, to bo busy/
' Jane, I excuse you for the present : two months' grace
I allow you for the full enjoyment of your new position, and
for pleasing yourself with this late-found charm of relation-
ship ; but then I hope you will begin to look beyond Moor
House and Morton, and sisterly society, and the selfish calm
and sensual comfort of civilised affluence. I hope your
energies will then once more trouble you with their strength/
I looked at him with surprise.
4 St. John/ I said, ' I think you are almost wicked to talk
so. I am disposed to be as content as a queen, and you try
to stir me up to restlessness ! To what end ? '
1 To the end of turning to profit the talents which God
has committed to your keeping ; and of which He will surely
one day demand a strict account. Jane, I shall watch you
closely and anxiously — I warn you of that. And try to
restrain the disproportionate fervour with which you throw
yourself into common-place home pleasures. Don't cling so
tenaciously to ties of the flesh; save your constancy and
478 JANE BYBB
ardour for an adequate cause; forbear to waste them on
trite transient objects. Do you hear, Jane ? '
1 Yes ; just as if you were speaking Greek. I feel I have
adequate cause to be happy, and I will be happy. Good-
bye!'
Happy at Moor House I was, and hard I worked ; and
so did Hannah : she was charmed to see how jovial I could
be amidst the bustle of a house turned topsy-turvy — how I
could brush, and dust, and clean, and cook. And really
after a day or two of confusion worse confounded it was
delightful, by degrees, to invoke order from the chaos
ourselves had made. I had previously taken a journey to
S to purchase some new furniture : my cousins having
given me carte blanche to effect what alterations I pleased,
and a sum having been set aside for that purpose. The
ordinary sitting-room and bedrooms I left much as they
were: for I knew Diana and Mary would derive more
pleasure from seeing again the old homely tables and chairs
and beds than from the spectacle of the smartest innovations.
Still some novelty was necessary, to give to their return the
piquancy with which I wished it to be invested. Dark
handsome new carpets and curtains, an arrangement of
some carefully selected antique ornaments in porcelain and
bronze, new coverings, and mirrors, and dressing-cases for
the toilet-tables, answered the end: they looked fresh
without being glaring. A spare parlour and bedroom I
refurnished entirely with old mahogany and crimson
upholstery : I laid canvas on the passage and carpets on the
stairs. When all was finished, I thought Moor House as
complete a model of bright modest snugness within as it
was, at this season, a specimen of wintry waste and desert
dreariness without.
The eventful Thursday at length came. They were
expected about dark, and ere dusk fires were lit upstairs
and below ; the kitchen was in perfect trim ; Hannah and I
were dressed, and all was in readiness.
St John arrived first. I had entreated him to keep quite
JANE EYEE 479
jclear of the house till everything was arranged : and, indeed,
the bare idea of the commotion, at once sordid and trivial,
going on within its walls sufficed to scare him to estrange-
ment. He found me in the kitchen, watching the progress
of certain cakes for tea, then baking. Approaching the
hearth, he asked, ' If I was at last satisfied with housemaid's
work ? ' I answered by inviting him to accompany me on a
general inspection of the result of my labours. With some
difficulty I got him to make the tour of the house. He just
looked in at the doors I opened ; and when he had wandered
upstairs and downstairs, he said I must have gone through a
great deal of fatigue and trouble to have effected such
considerable changes in so short a time : but not a syllable
did Ii3 utter indicating pleasure in the improved aspect of
his abode.
This silence damped me. I thought perhaps the altera-
tions had disturbed some old associations he valued. I
inquired whether this was the case : no doubt in a
somewhat crestfallen tone.
' Not at all ; he had, on the contrary, remarked that I had
scrupulously respected every association : he feared, indeed,
[ must have bestowed more thought on the matter than it
was worth. How many minutes, for instance, had I
devoted to studying the arrangement of this very room ? —
By-the-bye, could I tell him where such a book was ? '
I showed him the volume on the shelf : he took it down,
and withdrawing to his accustomed window recess, he
began to read it.
Now, I did not like this, reader. St. John was a good
man ; but I began to feel he had spoken truth of himself
when he said he was hard and cold. The humanities and
amenities of life had no attraction for him— its peaceful
enjoyments no charm. Literally, he lived only to aspire —
after what was good and great, certainly ; but still he would
never rest ; nor approve of others resting round him, As I
looked at his lofty forehead, still and pale as a white stone
— at his fine lineaments fixed in study — I comprehended aU
B2
480 JANE EYKE
at once that he would hardly make a good husband : that it
would be a trying thing to be his wife. I understood, as by
inspiration, the nature of his love for Miss Oliver ; I agreed
with him that it was but a love of the senses. I compre-
hended how he should despise himself for the feverish
influence it exercised over him ; how he should wish to
stifle and destroy it; how he should mistrust its ever
conducing permanently to his happiness, or hers. I saw he
was of the material from which nature hews her heroes —
Christian and Pagan — her lawgivers, her statesmen, her
conquerors ; a steadfast bulwark for great interests to rest
upon ; but, at the fireside, too often a cold cumbrous column,
gloomy and out of place.
'This parlour is not his sphere/ I reflected; 'the
Himalayan ridge, or Caffre bush, even the plague-cursed
Guinea Coast swamp, would suit him better. Well may he
eschew the calm of domestic life ; it is not his element :
there his faculties stagnate — they cannot develop or appear
to advantage. It is in scenes of strife and danger— -where
courage is proved, and energy exercised, and fortitude
tasked — that he will speak and move, the leader and
superior. A merry child would have the advantage of him
on this hearth. He is right to choose a missionary's career
— I see it now.'
' They are coming ! they are coming I ' cried Hannah,
throwing open the parlour door. At the same moment old
Carlo barked joyfully. Out I ran. It was now dark : but a
rumbling of wheels was audible. Hannah soon had a
lantern lit. The vehicle had stopped at the wicket; the
driver opened the door: first one well-known form, then
another, stepped out. In a minute I had my face under
their bonnets, in contact first with Mary's soft cheek, then
with Diana's flowing curls. They laughed — kissed me —
then Hannah : patted Carlo, who was half wild with delight,
asked eagerly if all was well ; and being assured in the
affirmative, hastened into the house.
They were stiff with their long and jolting drive from
JANE EYEE 481
Whitcross, and chilled with the frosty night-air ; but their
pleasant countenances expanded to the cheerful fire-light.
While the driver and Hannah brought in the boxes, they
demanded St. John. At this moment he advanced from the
parlour. They both threw their arms round his neck at
once. He gave each one quiet kiss, said in a low tone a few
words of welcome, stood a while to be talked to, and then,
intimating that he supposed they would soon rejoin him in
the parlour, withdrew there as to a place of refuge.
I had lit their candles to go upstairs, but Diana had first
to give hospitable orders respecting the driver; this done,
both followed me. They were delighted with the renovation
and decoration of their rooms ; with the new drapery, and
fresh carpets, and rich tinted china vases : they expressed
their gratification ungrudgingly. I had the pleasure of feel-
ing that my arrangements met their wishes exactly; and
that what I had done added a vivid charm to their joyous
return home.
Sweet was that evening. My cousins, full of exhilaration,
were so eloquent in narrative and comment, that their fluency
covered St. John's taciturnity : he was sincerely glad to sea
his sisters ; but in their glow of fervour and flow of joy
he could not sympathise. The event of the day — that
is, the return of Diana and Mary — pleased hirn ; but
the accompaniments of that event, the glad tumult, the
garrulous glee of reception, irked him : I saw he wished the
calmer morrow was come. In the very meridian of the
night's enjoyment, about an hour after tea, a rap was heard
at the door. Hannah entered with the intimation that ' a
poor lad was come, at that unlikely tirrje, to fetch Mr. Eivers
to see his mother, who was drawing away.'
' Where does she live, Hannah ? '
' Clear up at Whitcross Brow, almost four miles oil
and moor and moss all the way.'
' Tell him I will go.'
' I'm sure, sir, you had better not. It's the worst road
to travel after dark that can be : there's no track at all over
482 JANE EYEE
the bog. And then it is such a bitter night — the keenest
wind you ever felt. You had better send word, sir, that you
will be there in the morning/
But he was already in the passage, putting on his cloak ;
and without one objection, one murmur, he departed. It
was then nine o'clock : he did not return till midnight-
Starved and tired enough he was : but he looked happier
than when he set out. He had performed an act of duty ;
made an exertion; felt his own strength to do and deny,
and was on better terms with himself.
I am afraid the whole of the ensuing week tried his
patience. It was Christmas week : we took to no settled
employment, but spent it in a sort of merry domestic dissi-
pation. The air of the moors, the freedom of home, the
dawn of prosperity, acted on Diana and Mary's spirits like
some life-giving elixir: they were gay from morning till
noon, and from noon till night. They could always talk;
and their discourse, witty, pithy, original, had such charms
for me, that I preferred listening to, and sharing in it, to
doing anything else. St. John did not rebuke our vivacity ;
but he escaped from it: he was seldom in the house; his
parish was large, the population scattered, and he found
daily business in visiting the sick and poor in its different
districts.
One morning, at breakfast, Diana, after looking a little
pensive for some minutes, asked him, ( If his plans were yet
unchanged?'
* Unchanged and unchangeable,' was the reply. And he
proceeded to inform us that his departure from England was
now definitively fixeij for the ensuing year.
'And Eosamond Oliver?' suggested Mary: the words
seeming to escape her lips involuntarily : for no sooner had
she uttered them, than she made a gesture as if wishing to
recall them. St. John had a book in his hand — it was his
unsocial custom to read at meals — he closed it, and looked
up.
' Eosamond Oliver/ said he, ' is about to be married to
JANE EYEB 483
Mr. Granby ; one of the best connected and most estimable
residents in S , grandson and heir to Sir Frederic
Granby: I had the intelligence from her father yester-
day/
His sisters looked at each other, and at me ; we all three
looked at him : he was serene as glass.
1 The match must have been got up hastily/ said Diana :
' thfey cannot have known each other long '
• But two months : they met in October at the county
ball at S . But where there are no obstacles to a union,
as in the present case, where the connection is in every
point desirable, delays are unnecessary : they will be married
as soon as S Place, which Sir Frederic gives up to
them, cats be refitted lor their reception/
The first time I found St. John alone after this com-
munication, I felt tempted to inquire if the event distressed
him : but he seemed so little to need sympathy, that, so far
from venturing to offer him more, I experienced some shame
at the recollection of what I had already hazarded. Besides,
( was out of practice in talking to him : his reserve was again
frozen over, and my frankness was congealed beneath it.
He had not kept his promise of treating me like his sisters ;
he continually made little chilling differences between us,
which did not at ail tend to the development of cordiality :
in short, now that I was acknowledged his kinswoman, and
lived under the same root with him, I felt the distance
between us to be far greater than when he had known me
only as the village schoolmistress. When I remembered
how far I had once been admitted to his confidence, I could
hardly comprehend his present frigidity.
Such being the case, I felt not a little surprised when he
raised his head suddenly from the desk over which he was
stooping, and said : — ' You see, Jane, the battle is fought
and the victory won/
Startled at being thus addressed, I did not immediately
reply : after a moment's hesitation I answered : — ' But are
you sure you are not in the position of those conquerors
484 JANE EYEB
whose triumphs have cost them too dear ? Would not such
another ruin you ? '
' I think not ; and if I were, it does not much signify ;
I shall never be called upon to contend for such another.
The event of the conflict is decisive : my way is now clear ;
I thank God for it ! ' So saying, he returned to his papers
and his silence.
As our mutual happiness (i.e. Diana's, Mary's, and mihe)
settled into a quieter character, and we resumed our usual
habits and regular studies, St. John stayed more at home :
ho sat with us in the same room, sometimes for hours
together. While Mary drew, Diana pursued a course of
encyclopaedic reading she had (to my awe and amazement)
undertaken, and I fagged away at German, he pondered
a mystic lore of his own : that of some Eastern tongue,
the acquisition of which he thought necessary to his
plans.
Thus engaged, he appeared, sitting in his own recess,
quiet and absorbed enough ; but that blue eye of his had
a habit of leaving the outlandish-looking grammar, and
wandering over, and sometimes fixing upon us, his fellow
students, with a curious intensity of observation : if caught,
it would be instantly withdrawn ; yet ever and anon it re-
turned searchmgly to our table. I wondered what it meant :
I wondered, too, at the punctual satisfaction he never failed
to exhibit on an occasion that seemed to me of small
moment, namely, — my weekly visit to Morton school ; and
still more was I puzzled when, if the day was unfavourable,
if there was snow, or rain, or high wind, and his sisters
urged me not to go, he would invariably make light of their
solicitude, and encourage me to accomplish the task without
regard to the elements.
' Jane is not such a weakling as you would make her/
he would say : ' she can bear a mountain blast, or a shower,
or a few flakes of snow, as well as any of us. Her con-
stitution is bQth sound and elastic ; — better calculated to
endure variations of climate than many more robust.'
JANE EYEE 485
And when I returned, sometimes a good deal tired and
not a little weather-beaten, I never dared complain, because
I saw that to murmur would be to vex him : on all occasions
fortitude pleased him; the reverse was a special annoy-
ance.
One afternoon, however, I got leave to stay at home,
because I really had a cold. His sisters were gone to
Morton in my stead : I sat reading Schiller ; he, deciphering
his crabbed Oriental scrolls. As I exchanged a translation
for an exercise, I happened to look his way : there I found
myself under the influence of the ever-watchful blue eye.
How long it had been searching me through and through,
and over and over, I cannot tell : so keen was it, and yet so
cold, I felt for the moment superstitious — as if I were sitting
in the room with something uncanny.
1 Jane, what are you doing? '
1 Learning German.'
' I want you to give up German, and learn Hindostanee.'
1 You are not in earnest ? '
1 In such earnest that I must have it so : and I will tell
you why/
He then went on to explain that Hindostanee was the
language he was himself at present studying : that, as he
advanced, he was apt to forget the commencement ; that it
would assist him greatly to have a pupil with whom he
might again and again go over the elements, and so fix
them thoroughly in his mind ; that his choice had hovered
for some time between me and his sisters ; but that he had
fixed on me, because he saw I could sit at a task the longest
of the three. Would I do him this favour ? I should not,
perhaps, Have to make the sacrifice long ; as it wanted now
barely three months to his departure.
St. John was not a man to be lightly refused : you felt
that every impression made on him, either for pain or
pleasure, was deep-graved and permanent. I consented.
When Diana and Mary returned, the former found her
scholar transferred from her to her brother : she laughed ;
486 JANE EYEE
and both she and Mary agreed that St. John should never
have persuaded them to such a step.. He answered, quietly :
1 1 know it/
I found him a very patient, very forbearing, and yet an
exacting master : he expected me to do a great deal ; and
when I fulfilled his expectations, he, in his own way, fully
testified his approbation. By degrees, he acquired a certain
influence over me that took away my liberty of mind : his
praise and notice were more restraining than his indifference.
I could no longer talk or laugh freely when he was by,
because a tiresomely importunate instinct reminded me that
vivacity (at least in me) was distasteful to him. I was so
fully aware that only serious moods and occupations were
acceptable, that in his presence every effort to sustain or
follow any other became vain : I fell under a freezing spell.
When he said 'go,1 I went , ' come/ I came ; ' do this/ I
did it. But I did not love my servitude : I wished, many a
time, he had continued to neglect me.
One evening when, at bedtime, his sisters and I stood
round him, bidding him good-night, he kissed each of them, as
was his custom ; and, as was equally his custom, he, gave
me his hand. Diana, who chanced to be in a frolicsome
humour (she was not painfully controlled by his will ; for
hers, in another way, was as strong), exclaimed : — ' St.
John ! you used to call Jane your third sister, but you don't
treat her as such . you should kiss her too/
She pushed me towards him. I thought Diana very
provoking, and felt uncomfortably confused; and while I
was thus thinking and feeling, St. John bent his head ; his
Greek face was brought to a level with mine, his eyes
questioned my eyes piercingly — he kissed me. There are
no such things as marble kisses, or ice kisses, or I should
say my ecclesiastical cousin's salute belonged to one of
these classes ; but there may be experiment kisses, and his
was an experiment kiss. When given, he viewed me to
learn the result ; it was not striking : I am sure I did not
blush ; perhaps I might have turned a little pale, for I felt
JANE EYBE 487
as if this kiss were a seal affixed to my fetters. He never
omitted the ceremony afterwards, and the gravity and
quiescence with which I underwent it seemed to invest it
for him with a certain charm.
As for me, I daily wished more to please him : but to do
so, I felt daily more and more that I must disown half my
nature, stifle half my faculties, wrest my tastes from their
original bent, force myself to the adoption of pursuits for
which I had no natural vocation. He wanted to train me to
an elevation I could never reach ; it racked me hourly to aspire
to the standard he uplifted. The thing was as impossible
as to mould my irregular features to his correct and classic
pattern, to give to my changeable green eyes the sea-blue
tint and solemn lustre of his own.
Not his ascendancy alone, however, held me in thrall at
present. Of late it had been easy enough for me to look
sad : a cankering evil sat at my heart and drained my hap-
piness at its source — the evil of suspense.
Perhaps you think I had forgotten Mr. Eochester,
reader, amidst these changes of place and fortune. Not for
a moment. His idea was still with me*; because it was not
a vapour sunshine could disperse ; nor a sand-traced effigy
storms could wash away : it was a name graven on a tablet,
fated to last as long as the marble it inscribed. The craving
to know what had become of him followed me everywhere ;
when I was at Morton, I re-entered my cottage every even-
ing to think of that : and now at Moor House, I sought my
bedroom each night to brood over it.
In the course of my necessary correspondence with Mr.
Briggs about the will, I had inquired if he knew anything of
Mr. Eochester's present residence and state of health ; but,
as St. John had conjectured, he was quite ignorant of all
concerning him. I then wrote to Mrs. Fairfax, entreating
information on the subject. * I had calculated with certainty
on this step answering my end : I felt sure it would elicit an
early answer. I was astonished when a fortnight passed
without reply ; but when two months wore away, and day
488 JANE EYEB
after day the post arrived and brought nothing for me, I fell
a prey to the keenest anxiety.
I wrote again : there was a chance of my first letter
having missed. Eenewed hope followed renewed effort : it
shone like the former for some weeks, then, like it, it faded,
flickered : not a line, not a word reached me. When half a
year wasted in vain expectancy my hope died out : and then
I felt dark indeed.
A fine spring shone round me, which I could not enjoy.
Summer approached ; Diana tried to cheer me : she said I
looked ill, and wished to accompany me to the sea-side. This
St. John opposed ; he said I did not want dissipation, I wanted
employment ; my present life was too purposeless, i required
an aim ; and, I suppose, by way of supplying deficiencies, he
prolonged still further my lessons in Hindostanee, and grew
more urgent in requiring their accomplishment : and I, like
a fool, never thought of resisting him — I could not resist
him.
One day I had come to my studies in lower spirits than
usual; the ebb was occasioned by a poignantly felt dis-
appointment: Hannah had told me in the morning there
was a letter for me, and when I went dtfwn to take it, almost
certain that the long looked-for tidings were vouchsafed me
at last, I found only an unimportant note from Mr. Briggs
on business. The bitter check had wrung from me some
tears ; and now as I sat poring over the crabbed characters
and flourishing tropes of an Indian scribe, my eyes filled
again.
St. John called me to his side to read ; in attempting to
do this my voice failed me : words were lost in sobs. He
and I were the only occupants of the parlour : Diana was
practising her music in the drawing-room, Mary was garden-
ing— it was a very fine May-day, clear, sunny, and breezy.
My companion expressed no surprise at this emotion, nor
did he question me as to its cause ; he only said : — * We will
wait a few minutes, Jane, till you are more composed/ And
while I smothered the paroxysm with all haste, he sat calm
JANE EYEE 489
and patient, leaning on his desk and looking like a physician
watching with the eye of science an expected and fully-
understood crisis in a patient's malady. Having stifled my
sobs, wiped my eyes, and muttered something about not
being very well that morning, I resumed my task, and
succeeded in completing it. St. John put away my books
and his, locked his desk, and said : — ' Now, Jane, you shall
tako a walk ; and with me.*
5 1 will call Diana and Mary.*
'No. I want only one companion this morning, and
that must be you : put on your things ; go out by the
kitchen door; tako the road towards the head of Marsh
Glen : I \vill join you in a moment.'
I know no medium : I never in my life have known any
medium in my dealings with positive, hard characters,
antagonistic to my own, between absolute submission and
determined revolt. I have always faithfully observed the
one, up to tho very moment of bursting, sometimes with
volcanic vehemence, into the other ; and as neither present
circumstances warranted, nor my present mood inclined me
to mutiny, I observed careful obedience to St. John's direc-
tions; and in ten minutes I was treading the wild ti»ck of
the glen, side by side with him.
The breeze was from the west : it camo over the hill,
sweet with scents of heath and rush ; the sky was of stain-
less blue ; the stream descending the ravine, swelled with
past spring rains, poured along plentiful and clear, catching
golden gleams from the sun, and sapphire tints from the
firmament. As we advanced and left the track, we trod a
soft turf, mossy fine and emerald green, minutely enamelled
with a tiny white flower and spangled with a star-like
yellow blossom : the hills, meantime, shut us quite in ; for
the glen, towards its head, wound to their very core.
1 Let us rest here,' said St. John, as we reached the first
stragglers of a battalion of rocks, guarding a sort of pass,
beyond which the beck rushed down a waterfall; and
where, still a little further, the mountain shook off turf and
490 JANE EYBB
flower, had only heath for raiment, and crag for gem —
where it exaggerated the wild to the savage, and exchanged
the fresh for the frowning — where it guarded the forlorn
hope of solitude, and a last refuge for silence.
I took a seat : St. John stood near me. He looked up the
pass and down the hollow ; his glance wandered away with
the stream, and returned to traverse the unclouded heaven
which coloured it : he removed his hat, let the breeze stir
his hair and kiss his brow. He seemed in communion with
the genius of the haunt : with his eye he bade farewell to
something.
1 And I shall see it again/ he said aloud, ' in dreams,
when I sleep by the Ganges : and again, in a more remote
hour — when another slumber overcomes mo — on the shore
of a darker stream.'
Strange words of a strange love ! An austere patriot's
passion for his fatherland ! He sat down ; for half an hour
we never spoke ; neither he to me nor I to him : that in-
terval past, he recommenced : — ' Jane, I go in six weeks ; I
have taken my berth in an East Indiarnan which sails on
the twentieth of June.'
I God will protect you ; for you have undertaken His
work,' I answered.
'Yes,' said he,*' there is my glory and joy. I am the
servant of an infallible master. I am not going out under
human guidance, subject to the defective laws and erring
control of my feeble fellow- worms : my king, my lawgiver,
my captain, is the All-perfect. It seems strange to me that
all round me do not burn to enlist under the same banner, —
to join in the same enterprise/
' All have not your powers : and it would be folly for the
feeble to wish to march with the strong.'
I 1 do not speak to the feeble, or think of them : I address
only such as are worthy of the work, and competent to
accomplish it/
' Those are few in number, and difficult to discover/
1 You sav trulv : but when found, it is riffht to atir
JANE EYBB 491
up—to urge and exhort them to the effort— to show them
what their gifts are, and why they were given — to speak
Heaven's message in their ear, — to offer them, direct from
God, a place in the ranks of His chosen.'
1 If they are really qualified for the task, will not their
own hearts be the first to inform them of it ? '
I felt as if an awful charm was framing round and
gathering over me: I trembled to hear some fatal word
spoken which would at once declare and rivet the spell.
' And what does your heart say ? ' demanded St. John.
1 My heart is mute, — my heart is mute/ I answered,
struck and thrilled.
'Then I must speak for it/ continued the deep, relentless
voice. ' Jane, come with me to India : come as my help-
meet and fellow-labourer '
The glen and sky spun round : the hills heaved ! It was
as if I had heard a summons from Heaven — as if a visionary
messenger, like him of Macedonia, had enounced, ' Come over
and help us I ' But I was no apostle, — I could not behold
the herald, — I could not receive his call.
' Oh, St. John ! ' I cried, ' have some mercy f '
I appealed to one who, in the discharge of what he
believed his duty, knew neither mercy nor remorse. He
continued : — ' God and nature intended you for a missionary's
wife. It is not personal, but mental endowments they
have given you : you are formed for labour, not for love. A
missionary's wife you must — shall be. You shall be mine :
I claim you— not for my pleasure, but for my Sovereign's
service/
' I am not fit for it : I have no vocation/ I said.
He had calculated on these first objections : he was not
irritated by them. Indeed, as he leaned back against the
crag behind him, folded his arms on his chest, and fixed his
countenance, I saw he was prepared for a long and trying
opposition, and had taken in a stock of patience to last him
to its close— resolved, however, that that close should be
conquest for him.
492 JANE EYBE
1 Humility, Jane/ said he, ' is the groundwork of Christian
virtues : you say right that you are not fit for the work.
Who is fit for it? Or who, that ever was truly called,
believed himself worthy of the summons ? I, for instance,
am but dust and ashes. With St. Paul, I acknowledge
myself the chiefest of sinners : but I do not suffer this sense
of my personal vileness to daunt me. I know my Leader :
that He is just as well as mighty ; and while He has chosen
a feeble instrument to perform a great task, He will, from
the boundless stores of His providence, supply the inadequacy
of the means to the end. Think like me, Jane — trust like me.
It is the Eock of Ages I ask you to lean on : do not doubt
but it will bear the weight of your human weakness.1
' I do not understand a missionary life : I have never
studied missionary labours.'
1 There, I, humble as I am, can give you the aid you
want : I can set you your task from hour to hour ; stand by
you always ; help you from moment to moment. This I
could do in the beginning : soon (for I know your powers) you
would be as strong and apt as myself, and would not require
my help.'
1 But my powers — where are they for this undertaking ?
I do not feel them. Nothing speaks or stirs in me while
you talk. I am sensible of no light kindling — no life
quickening — no voice counselling or cheering. Oh, I wish I
could make you see how much my mind is at this moment
like a rayless dungeon, with one shrinking fear fettered in
its depths — the fear of being persuaded by you to attempt
what I cannot accomplish ! '
' I have an answer for you — hear it. I have watched
you ever since wo first met : I have made you my study for
ten months. I have proved you in that time by sundry
tests : and what have I seen and elicited ? In the village
school I found you could perform well, punctually, uprightly,
labour uncongenial to your habits and inclinations ; I saw
you could perform it with capacity and tact : you could win
while you controlled. In the calm with which you learnt
JANE EYEE 493
you had become suddenly rich, I read a mind clear of the
vice of Demas : — lucre had no undue power over you. In
the resolute readiness with which you cut your wealth into
four shares, keeping but one to yourself, and relinquishing
the three others to the claim of abstract justice, I recognised
a soul that revelled in the flame and excitement of sacrifice.
In the tractability with which, at my wish, you forsook a
study in which you were interested, and adopted another
because it interested me; in the untiring assiduity with
which you have since persevered in it — in the unflagging
energy and unshaken temper with which you have met its
difficulties — I acknowledge the complement of the qualities
1 seek. Jane, you are docile, diligent, disinterested, faithful,
constant, and courageous ; very gentle, and very heroic :
cease to mistrust yourself — I can trust you unreservedly.
As a conductress of Indian schools, and a helper amongst
Indian women, your assistance will be to me invaluable.1
My iron shroud contracted round me ; persuasion ad-
vanced with slow sure step. Shut my eyes as I would,
these last words of his succeeded in making the way, which
had seemed blocked up, comparatively clear. My work,
which had appeared so vague, so hopelessly diffuse, con-
densed itself as he proceeded, and assumed a definite form
under his shaping hand. He waited for an answer. 1
demanded a quarter of an hour to think, before I again
hazarded a reply
' Very willingly,1 he rejoined : and rising, he strode a little
distance up the pass, threw himself down on a swell of heath,
and there lay still.
' I can do what he wants me to do : I am forced to see
and acknowledge that/ I meditated — 'That is, if life be
spared me. But I feel mine is not the existence to be long
protracted under an Indian sun. — What then? He does
not care for that : when my time came to die he would resign
me, in all serenity and sanctity, to the God who gave me.
The case is very plain before me. In leaving England, I
should leave a loved but empty land — Mr. Rochester is not
494: JANE EYEB
there : and if he were, what is, what can that ever be to me?
My business is to live without him now : nothing so absurd,
so weak as to drag on from day to day, as if I were waiting
some impossible change in circumstances, which might re-
unite me to him. Of course (as St. John once said) I must
seek another interest in life to replace the one lost : is not
the occupation he now offers me truly the most glorious
man can adopt or God assign ? Is it not, by its noble cares
and sublime results, the one best calculated to fill the void
left by uptorn affections and demolished hopes ? I believe
I must say, Yes — and yet I shudder. Alas 1 If I join St.
John, I abandon half myself : if I go to India, I go to pre-
mature death. And how will the interval between leaving
England for India, and India for the grave, be filled ? Oh,
I know well 1 That, too, is very clear to my vision. By
straining to satisfy St. John till my sinews ache, I shall
satisfy him — to the finest central po'int and farthest outward
circle of his expectations. If I do go with him — if I do make
the sacrifice he urges, I will make it absolutely : I will throw
all on the altar — heart, vitals, the entire victim. He will
never love me ; but he shall approve me ; I will show him
energies he has not yet seen, resources he has never suspected.
Yes : I can work as hard as he can ; and with as little
grudging.
' Consent, then, to his demand is possible : but for one
item — one dreadful item. It is — that he asks me to be his
wife, and has no more of a husband's heart for me than that
frowning giant of a rock, down which the stream is foaming
in yonder gorge. He prizes me as a soldier would a good
weapon ; and that is all. Unmarried to him, this would
never grieve me ; but can I let him complete his calculations
— coolly put into practice his plans — go through the wedding
ceremony ? Can I receive from him the bridal ring, endure
all the forms of love (which I doubt not he would scrupu-
lously observe) and know that the spirit was quite absent ?
Can I bear the consciousness that every endearment he
bestows is a sacrifice made on principle? No: such a
JANE EYEE 495
martyrdom would be monstrous. I will never undergo it.
As his sister, I might accompany him — not as his wife : I
will tell him so.1
I looked towards the knoll: there he lay, still as a
prostrate column ; his face turned to me : his eye beaming
watchful, and keen. He started to his feet, and approached
me.
I 1 am ready to go to India, if I may go free.'
1 Your answer requires a commentary/ he said ; ' it is
not clear.'
' You have hitherto been my adopted brother : I, your
adopted sister ; let us continue as such : you and I had
better not marry.'
He shook his head. * Adopted fraternity will not do in
this case. If you were my real sister it would be different :
I should take you and seek no wife. But as it is, either our
union must be consecrated and sealed by marriage, or it
cannot exist : practical obstacles oppose themselves to any
other plan. Do you not see it, Jane ? Consider a moment
— your strong sense will guide you/
I did consider : and still my sense, such as it was,
directed me only to the fact that we did not love each other
as man and wife should ; and therefore it inferred we ought
not to marry. I said so. ' St. John/ I returned, ' I regard
you as a brother — you, me as a sister : so let us continue/
* We cannot — we cannot/ he answered, with short, sharp
determination : ' it would not do. You have said you will
go with me to India : remember — you have said that.'
1 Conditionally.'
'Well — well. To the main point — the departure with
me from England, the co-operation with me in my future
labours — you do not object. You have already as good as
put your hand to the plough : you are too consistent to
withdraw it. You have but one end to keep in view-— how
the work you have undertaken can best be done. Simplify
your complicated interests, feelings, thoughts, wishes, aims ;
merge all considerations in one purpose : that of fulfilling
496 JANE EYEB
with effect — with power — the mission of your great Master.
To do so, you must have a coadjutor — not a brother ; that is
a loose tie : but a husband. I, too, do not want a sister ; a
sister might any day be taken from me. I want a wife : the
sole helpmeet I can influence efficiently in life and retain
absolutely till death.'
I shuddered as he spoke : I felt his influence in my
marrow — his hold on my limbs
' Seek one elsewhere than in me, St John : seek one
fitted to you.'
'One fitted to my purpose, you mean — fitted to my
vocation. Again I tell you it is not the insignificant private
individual — the mere man, with the man's selfish senses — I
wish to mate : it is the missionary.1
' And I will give the missionary my energies — it is all he
wants — but not myseli : that would be only adding the husk
and shell to the kernel. For. them he has no use : I retain
them/
' You cannot — you ought not. Do you think God will be
satisfied with half an oblation ? Will He accept a mutilated
sacrifice ? It is the cause of God I advocate : it is under
His standard I enlist you. I cannot accept on His behalf a
divided allegiance : it must be entire.'
' Oh ! I will give my heart to God,' I said. ' You do not
want it.'
I will not swear, reader, that there was not something of
repressed sarcasm both in the tone in which I uttered this
sentence, and in the feeling that accompanied it. I had
silently feared St. John till now, because I had not under-
stood Kim. He had held me in awe, because he had held
me in doubt. How much of him was saint, how much
mortal, I could not heretofore tell: but revelations were
being made in this conference : the analysis of his nature
was proceeding before my eyes. I saw his fallibilities : I
comprehended them. I understood that, sitting there where
I did, on the banK of heath, and with that handsome form
before me, I sat at the feet of a man, erring as I. The veil
JANE EYEB 497
fell from his hardness and despotism. Having felt in him
the presence of these qualities, I felt his imperfection, and
took courage. I was with an equal — one with whom I might
argue — one whom, if I saw good, I might resist.
He was silent after I had uttered the last sentence, and
I presently risked an upward glance at his countenance.
His eye, bent on me, expressed at once stern surprise and
keen inquiry. ' Is she sarcastic, and sarcastic to me I1 it
seemed to say. ' What does this signify ? '
' Do not let us forget that this is a solemn matter,1 he
said ere long : ' one of which we may neither think nor talk
lightly without sin. I trust, Jane, you are in earnest when
you say you will give your heart to God : it is all I want,
Once wrench your heart from man, and fix it on your Maker,
the advancement of that Maker's spiritual kingdom on earth
will be your chief delight and endeavour ; you will be ready
to do at once whatever furthers that end. You will see what
impetus would be given to your efforts and mine by our
physical and mental union in marriage : the only union that
gives a character of permanent conformity to the destinies
and designs of human beings : and, passing over all minor
caprices — all trivial difficulties and delicacies of feeling — all
scruple about the degree, kind, strength or tenderness of
mere personal inclination — you will hasten to enter into
that union at once/
1 Shall I ? ' I said briefly ; and I looked at his features,
beautiful in their harmony, but strangely formidable in their
still severity ; at his brow, commanding but not open ; at his
eyes, bright and deep, and searching, but never soft ; at his
tall, imposing figure ; and fancied myself in idea his wife.
Oh 1 it would never do ! As his curate, his comrade, all
would be right : I would cross oceans with him in that
capacity ; toil under eastern suns, in Asian deserts with him
in that office ; admire and emulate his courage and devotion,
and vigour ; accommodate quietly to his masterhood ; smile
undisturbed at his ineradicable ambition ; discriminate the
Christian from the man : profoundly esteem the one, and
498 JANE BYEE
freely forgive the other. I should suffer often, no doubt,
attached to him only in this capacity : my body would be
under rather a stringent yoke, but my heart and mind would
be free. I should still have my unblighted self to turn to :
my natural unenslaved feelings with which to communicate
in moments of loneliness. There would be recesses in my
mind which would be only mine, to which he never came ;
and sentiments growing there fresh and sheltered, which Ms
austerity could never blight, nor his measured warrior-march
trample down : but as his wife — at his side always, and
always restrained, and always checked — forced to keep the
fire of my nature continually low, to compel it to burn
inwardly and never utter a cry, though the imprisoned flame
consumed vital after vital — this would be unendurable.
1 St. John ! I exclaimed, when I had got so far in my
meditation.
I Well ? ' he answered icily.
I 1 repeat : I freely consent to go with you as your fellow-
missionary ; but not as your wife ; I cannot marry you and
become part of you.'
' A part of me you must become,1 he answered steadily ;
1 otherwise the whole bargain is void. How can I, a man
not yet thirty, take out with me to India a girl of nineteen,
unless she be married to me ? How can we be for ever
together — sometimes in solitudes, sometimes amidst savage
tribes — and unwed ? '
1 Very well,1 I said shortly ; ' under the circumstances,
quite as well as if I were either your real sister, or a man
and a clergyman like yourself.'
' It is known that you are not my sister ; I cannot intro-
duce you as such : to attempt it would be to fasten injurious
suspicions on us both. And for the rest, though you have a
man's vigorous brain, you have a woman's heart, and — it
would not do.'
' It would do,' I affirmed with some disdain, ' perfectly
well. I have a woman's heart ; but not where you are con-
cerned; for you I have only a comrade's constancy; a
JANE EYBE 499
fellow-soldier's frankness, fidelity, fraternity, if you like ;
a neophyte's respect and submission to his hierophant :
nothing more — don't fear/
' It is what I want/ he said, speaking to himself ; 'it is
just what I want. And there are obstacles in the way : they
must be hewn down. Jane, you would not repent marrying
me ; be certain of that ; we must be married. I repeat it :
there is no other way ; and undoubtedly enough of love
would follow upon marriage to render the union right even
in your eyes.'
I -I scorn your idea of love/ I could not help saying, as I
rose up and stood before him, leaning my back against the
rock. ' I acorn the counterfeit sentiment you offer : yes, St.
John, and I scorn you when you offer it.'
He looked at me fixedly : compressing his well-cut lips
while he did so. Whether he was incensed or surprised, or
what, it was not easy to tell : he could command his
countenance thoroughly.
I 1 scarcely expected to hear that expression from you,'
he said : ' I think I have done and uttered nothing to
deserve scorn.'
I was touched by his gentle tone, and overawed by his
high, calm mien.
1 Forgive me the words, St. John : but it is your own
fault that I have been roused to speak so unguardedly.
You have introduced a topic on which our natures are at
variance — a topic we should never discuss : the very name
of love is an apple of discord between us — if the reality
were required what should we do ? How should we feel ?
My dear cousin, abandon your scheme of marriage —
forget it.'
' No,' said he ;' it is a long-cherished scheme, and the
only one which can secure my great end : but I shall urge
you no further at present. To-morrow I leave home for
Cambridge : I have many friends there to whom I should
wish to say farewell. I shall be absent a fortnight — take
that space of time to consider my offer : and do not forget
500 JANE BTBB
that if you reject it, it is not me you deny, but God.
Through my means, He opens to you a noble career ; as
my wife only can you enter upon it. Eefuse to be my wife,
and you limit yourself for ever to a track of selfish ease and
barren obscurity. Tremble lest in that case you should be
numbered with those who have denied the faith, and are
worse than infidels ! '
He had done. Turning from me, he once more
Looked to river, looted to hill :
But this time his feelings were all pent in his heart ; I was
not worthy to hear them uttered. As I walked by his side
homeward, I read well in his iron silence all he felt towards
me : the disappointment of an austere and despotic nature,
which has met resistance where it expected submission —
the disapprobation of a cool, inflexible judgment, which has
detected in another feelings and views in which it has no
power to sympathise : in short, as a man, he would have
wished to coerce me into obedience : it was only as a sincere
Christian he bore so patiently with my perversity, and
allowed so long a space for reflection and repentance.
That night, after he had kissed his sisters, he thought
proper to forget even to shake hands with me ; but left the
room in silence. I — who, though I had no love, had much
friendship for him — was hurt by the marked omission : so
much hurt that tears started to my eyes.
'I see you and St. John have been quarrelling, Jane,'
said Diana, ' during your walk on the moor. But go after
him ; he is now lingering in the passage, expecting you —
he will make it up/
I have not much pride under such circumstances : I
would always rather be happy than dignified ; and I ran
after him — he stood at the foot of the stairs.
'Good-night, St. John,' said I.
1 Good-night, Jane/ he replied calmly.
'Then shake hands/' I added.
What a cold, loose touch he impressed on my fingers
JANE EYEB 501
He was deeply displeased by what had occurred that
day : cordiality would not warm, nor tears move him. No
happy reconciliation was to be had with him— no cheer-
ing smile or generous word: but still the Christian was
patient and placid; and when I asked him if he forgave
me, he answered that he was not in the habit of cherish-
ing the remembrance of vexation ; that he had nothing to
forgive : not having been offended.
And with that answer he left me. I would much
rather he had knocked me down.
502 JANE EYRE
CHAPTER XXXV
HE did not leave for Cambridge the next day, as he had
said he would. He deferred his departure a whole week ;
and during that time he made me feel what severe punish-
ment a good yet stern, a conscientious yet implacable man
can inflict on one who has offended him. Without one overt
act of hostility, one upbraiding word, he contrived to impress
me momently with the conviction that I was put beyond
the pale of his favour.
Not that St. John harboured a spirit of unchristian
vindictiveness — not that he would have injured a hair of my
head, if it had been fully in his power to do so. Both by
nature and principle he was superior to the mean gratifica-
tion of vengeance : he had forgiven me for saying I scorned
him and his love, but he had not forgotten the words ; and as
long as he and I lived he never would forget them. I saw
by his look, when he turned to me, that they were always
written on the air between me and him ; whenever I spoke,
they sounded in my voice to his ear ; and their echo toned
every answer he gave me.
He did not abstain from conversing with me : he even
called me as usual each morning to join him at his desk ;
and I fear the corrupt man within him had a pleasure
unimparted to, and unshared by, the pure Christian, in
evincing with what skill he could, while acting and speaking
apparently just as usual, extract from every deed and every
phrase the spirit of interest and approval which had for-
merly communicated a certain austere charm to his language
and manner. To me, he was in reality become no longer
JANE EYEB 603
flesh, but marble; his eye was a cold, bright, blue gem;
his tongue, a speaking instrument— nothing more.
All this was torture to me — refined, lingering torture. It
kept up a slow fire of indignation, and a trembling trouble
of grief, which harassed and crushed me altogether. I felt
how, if I were his wife, this good man, pure as the deep
sunless source, could soon kill me : without drawing from
my veins a single drop of blood, or receiving on his own
crystal conscience the faintest stain of crime. Especially I
felt this when I made any attempt to propitiate him. No
ruth met my ruth. He experienced no suffering from
estrangement— no yearning after reconciliation ; and though,
more than once, my fast falling tears blistered the page over
which we both bent, they produced no more effect on him
than if his heart had been really a matter of stone or metal.
To his sisters, meantime, he was somewhat kinder than
usual : as if afraid that mere coldness would not sufficiently
convince me how completely I was banished and banned,
he added the force of contrast : and this I am sure he did,
not by malice, but on principle.
The night before he left home, happening to see him
walking in the garden about sunset, and remembering, as I
looked at him, that this man, alienated as he now was, had
once saved my life, and that we were near relations, I was
moved to make a last attempt to regain his friendship. I
went out and approached him, as he stood leaning over the
little gate : I spoke to the point at once.
I St. John, 1 am unhappy, because you are still angry
with me. Let us be friends.'
I 1 hope we are friends/ was the unmoved reply ; while
he still watched the rising of the moon, which he had been
contemplating as I approached.
'No, St. John, we are not friends as we were. You
know that.'
I Are we not ? That is wrong. For my part, I wish you
no ill and all good.'
I 1 believe you, St. John ; for I am sure you are incapable
504: JANE EYEE
of wishing any one ill : but, as I am your kinswoman, I
should desire somewhat more of affection than that sort of
general philanthropy you extend to mere strangers/
' Of course/ he said. ' Your wish is reasonable ; and I
am far from regarding you as a stranger.1
This, spoken in a cool, tranquil tone, was mortifying and
baffling enough. Had I attended to the suggestions of
pride and ire, I should immediately have left him : but
something worked within me more strongly than those
feelings could. I deeply venerated my cousin's talent and
principle. His friendship was of value to me : to lose it
tried me severely. I would not so soon relinquish the
attempt to reconquer it.
1 Must we part in this way, St. John ? And when you
go to India, will you leave me so, without a kinder word
than you have yet spoken ? '
He now turned quite from the moon, and faced me.
1 When I go to India, Jane, will I leave you ? What !
do you not go to India ? '
1 You said I could not, unless I married you.'
' And you will not marry me ? You adhere to that
resolution ? '
Eeader, do you know, as I do, what terror those cold
people can put into the ice of their questions ? How much
of the fall of the avalanche is in their anger ? of the breaking
up of the frozen sea in their displeasure ?
1 No, St. John, I will not marry you. I adhere to my
resolution.'
The avalanche had shaken and slid a little forward ; but
it did not yet crash down.
' Once more, why this refusal ? ' he asked.
' Formerly/ I answered, * because you did not love me ;
now, I reply, because you almost hate me. If I were to
marry you, you would kill me. You are killing me now/
His lips and cheeks turned white — quite white.
' I should kill you — I am killing you ? Your words are
such as ought not to be used : violent, unfeminine, and
JANE EYEE 505
untrue. They betray an unlortunate state of mind: they
merit severe reproof : they would seem inexcusable ; but
that it is the duty of man to forgive his fellow, even until
seventy-and-seven times/
I had finished the business now. While earnestly
wishing to erase from his mind the trace of my former
offence, I had stamped on that tenacious surface another
and far deeper impression : I had burnt it in.
' Now, you will indeed hate me/ I said. 'It is useless
to attempt to conciliate you : I see I have made an eternal
enemy of you/
A fresh wrong did these words inflict : the worse because
they touched on the truth. That bloodless lip quivered to
a temporary spasm. I knew the steely ire I had whetted.
I was heart-wrung.
' You utterly misinterpret my words,' I said, at once
seizing his hand : ' I have no intention to grieve or pain
you indeed, I have not/ »
Most bitterly he smiled — most decidedly he withdrew
his hand from mine. ' And now you recall your promise,
and will not go to India at all, I presume ? ' said lie, after a
considerable pause.
* Yes I will, as your assistant/ I answered.
A very long silence succeeded. What struggle there was
in him between Nature and Grace in this interval I can-
not tell ; only singular gleams scintillated in his eyes, and
strange shadows passed over his face. lie spoke at last.
I 1 before proved to you the absurdity of a single woman
of your age proposing to accompany abroad a single man of
mine. I proved it to you in such terms as, I should have
thought, would have prevented your ever again alluding to
the plan. That you have done so, I regret — for your sake/
1 interrupted him. Anything like a tangible reproach
gave me courage at once. ' Keep to common sense, St. Johir :
you are verging on nonsense. You pretend to be shocked
by what I have said. You atre not really shocked ; for, with
your superior mind, you cannot be either so dull or so
506 JANE EYEE
conceited as to misunderstand my meaning. I say again,
I will be your curate, if you like, but never your wife.'
Again he turned lividly pale ; but, as before, controlled
his passion perfectly. He answered emphatically, but
calmly : ' A female curate, who is not my wife, would never
suit me. With me, then, it seems, you cannot go : but if
you are sincere in your offer, I will, while in town, speak to
a married missionary, whose wife needs a coadjutor. Your
own fortune will make you independent of the Society's
aid; and thus you may still be spared the dishonour of
breaking your promise, and deserting the band you engaged
to join/
Now I never had, as the reader knows, either given any
formal promise, or entered into any engagement ; and this
language was all much too hard, and much too despotic for
the occasion. I replied : ' There is no dishonour ; no breach
of promise ; no desertion in the case. I am not under the
slightest obligation to go to India : especially with strangers.
With you I would have ventured much ; because I admire,
confide in, and, as a sister, I love you : but I am convinced
that, go when and with whom I would, I should not live
long in that climate.'
1 Ah ! you are afraid of yourself,' he said, curling his lip.
' I am. God did not give me my life to throw away ;
and to do as you wish me would, I begin to think, be almost
equivalent to committing suicide. Moreover, before I
definitively resolve on quitting England, I will know for
certain whether I cannot be of greater use by remaining in
it than by leaving it.'
' What do you mean ? '
' It would be fruitless to attempt to explain : but there is
a point on which I have long endured painful doubt ; and I
can go nowhere till by some means that doubt is removed.'
* ' I know where your heart turns, and to what it clings.
The interest you cherish is lawless and unconsecrated.
Long since you ought to have crushed it : now you should
blush to allude to it. You think of Mr. Bochester ? '
JANE EYES 607
It was true. I confessed it by silence.
' Are you going to seek Mr. Eochester ? '
1 1 must find out what is become of him/
' It remains for me, then/ he said, ' to remember you in
my prayers ; and to entreat God for you, in all earnestness,
that you may not indeed become a castaway. I had thought
I recognised in you one of the chosen. But God sees not
as man sees : His will be done.'
He opened the gate, passed through it, and strayed away
down the glen. He was soon out of sight.
On re-entering the parlour, I found Diana standing at
the window, looking very thoughtful. Diana was a great
deal taller than I : she put her hand on my shoulder, and,
stooping, examined my face.
' Jane/ she said, ' you are always agitated and pale now.
I am sure there is something the matter. Tell we what
business St. John and you have on hand. I have watched
you this half -hour from the window : you must forgive my
being such a spy, but for a long time I have fancied I hardly
know what. St. John is a strange being '
She paused — I did not speak : soon she resumed : — ' That
brother of mine cherishes peculiar views of some sort
respecting you, I am sure : he has long distinguished you
by a notice and interest he never showed to any one else —
to what end ? I wish he loved you— does he, Jane ? '
I put her cool hand to my hot forehead : ' No, Die, not
one whit/
1 Then why does he follow you so with his eyes — and get
you so frequently alone with him, and keep you so continu-
ally at his side ? Mary and I had both concluded he wished
you to marry him/
1 He does— he has asked me to be his wife/
Diana clapped her hands. ' That is just what we hoped
and thought ! And you will marry him, Jane, won't you ?
And then he will stay in England/
1 Ear from that, Diana ; his sole idea in proposing to me
is to procure a fitting fellow-labourer in his Indian toils/
508 JANE EYBR
1 What 1 HP wishes you to go to India ? '
'Yes/
' Madness ! ' she exclaimed. ' You would not live three
months there, I am certain. You never shall go : you have
not consented — have you, Jane ? '
' I have refused to marry him '
1 And have consequently displeased him ? ' she suggested.
1 Deeply : he will never forgive me, I fear : yet I offered
to accompany him as his sister/
' It was frantic folly to do so, Jane. Think of the task
you undertook — one of incessant fatigue : where fatigue kills
even the strong ; and you are weak. St. John — you know
him — would urge you to impossibilities : with him there
would be no permission to rest during the hot hours ; and
unfortunately, I have noticed, whatever he exacts, you force
yourself to perform. I am astonished you found courage to
refuse his hand. You do not love him then, Jane ? '
1 Not as a husband.1
1 Yet he is a handsome fellow.1
'And I am so plain you see, Die. We should never
suit/
' Plain ! You ? Not at all. You are much too pretty,
as well as too good, to be grilled alive in Calcutta.' And
again she earnestly conjured me to give up all thoughts of
going out with her brother.
' I must, indeed/ I said ; ' for when just now I repeated
the offer of serving him for a deacon, he expressed himself
shocked at my want of decency. He seemed to think I had
committed an impropriety in proposing to accompany him
unmarried : as if I had not from the first hoped to find in
him a brother ; and habitually regarded him as such.'
' What makes you say he does not love you, Jane? '
1 You should hear himself on the subject. He has again
and again explained that it is not himself, but his office he
wishes to mate. He has told me I am formed for labour —
not for love : which is true, no doubt. But, in my opinion,
if I am not formed for love, it follows that I am not formed
JANE BTBB 509
for marriage. Would it not be strange, Die, to be chained
for life to a man who regarded one but as a useful tool ? f
' Insupportable — unnatural — out of the question !
1 And then/ I continued, ' though I have only sisterly
affection for him now, yet, if forced to be his wife, I can
imagine the possibility of conceiving an inevitable, strange,
torturing kind of love for him : because he is so talented ;
and there is often a certain heroic grandeur in his look,
manner, and conversation. In that case, my lot would
become unspeakably wretched. He would not want me to
love him ; and if I showed the feeling, he would make mo
sensible that it was a superfluity, unrequired by him,
unbecoming in me. I know he would.1
' And yet St. John is a good man,' said Diana.
' He is a good and a great man : but he forgets, pitilessly,
the feelings and claims of little people, in pursuing his own
large views. It is better, therefore, for the insignificant to
keep out of his way ; lest, in his progress, he should trample
them down. Here he conies ! I will leave you, Diana/
And I hastened upstairs, as I saw him entering the garden,
But I was forced to meet him again at supper. During
that meal he appeared just as composed as usual. I had
thought he would hardly speak to me, and I was certain he
had given up the pursuit of his matrimonial scheme : the
sequel showed I was mistaken on both points. He addressed
me precisely in his ordinary manner ; or what had, of late,
been his ordinary manner; one scrupulously polite. No
doubt he had invoked the help of the Holy Spirit to subdue
the anger I had roused in him, and now believed he had
forgiven me once more.
Eor the evening reading before prayers, he selected the
twenty-first chapter of Eevelation. It was at all times
pleasant to listen while from his lips fell the words of the
Bible : never did his fine voice sound at once so sweet and
full — never did his manner become so impressive in its noble
simplicity, as when he delivered the oracles of God : and
to-night that voice took a more solemn tone— that manner a
510 JANE EYEE
more thrilling meaning— as he sat in the midst of his
household circle (the May moon shining in through the
uncurtained window, and rendering almost unnecessary the
light of the candle on the table) : as he sat there, bending
over the great old Bible, and described from its page the
vision of the new heaven aud the new earth — told how God
would come to dwell with men, how He would wipe away
all tears from their eyes, and promised that there should be
no more death, neither sorrow nor crying, nor any more
pain, because the former things were passed away.
The succeeding words thrilled me strangely as he spoke
them : especially as I felt, by the slight, indescribable altera-
tion in sound, that in uttering them, his eye had turned on
me.
1 He that overcometh shall inherit all things ; and I will
be his God, and he shall be my son. But/ was slowly,
distinctly read, ' the fearful, the unbelieving, &c. shall have
their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone,
which is the second death.'
Henceforward I knew what fate St. John feared for
me.
A calm, subdued triumph, blent with a longing earnest-
ness, marked his enunciation of the last glorious verses of
that chapter. The reader believed his name was already
written in the Lamb's book of life, and he yearned after the
hour which should admit him to the city to which the kings
of the earth bring their glory and honour ; which has no
need of sun or moon to shine in it, because the glory of God
lightens it, and the Lamb is the light thereof.
In the prayer following the chapter, all his energy
gathered — all his stern zeal woke : he was in deep earnest,
wrestling with God, and resolved on a conquest. He sup-
plicated strength for the weak-hearted ; guidance for wan-
derers from the fold : a return, even at the eleventh hour,
for those whom the temptations of the world and the flesh
were luring from the narrow path. He asked, he urged, he
claimed the boon of a brand snatched from the burning.
JANE EYEB 511
Earnestness is ever deeply solemn : first, as I listened to
that prayer, I wondered at his ; then, when it continued and
rose, I was touched by it, and at last awed. He felt the
greatness and goodness of his purpose so sincerely : others
who heard him plead for it, could not but feel it too.
The prayer over, we took leave of him : he was to go at
a very early hour in the morning. Diana and Mary having
kissed him, left the room — in compliance, I think, with a
whispered hint from him : I tendered my hand, and wished
him a pleasant journey.
'Thank you, Jane. As I said, I shall return from
Cambridge in a fortnight : that space, then, is yet left you for
reflection. If I listened to human pride, I should say no
more to you of marriage with me ; but I listen to my duty,
and keep steadily in view my first aim — to do all things to
the glory of God. My Master was long-suffering : so will I
be. I cannot give you up to perdition as a vessel of wrath :
repent — resolve; while there is yet time. Remember, we
are bid to work while it is day — warned that " the night
cometh when no man shall work." Eeinember the fate of
Dives, who had his good things in this life. God give you
strength to choose that better part which shall not be taken
from you ! '
He laid his hand on my head as he uttered the last
words. He had spoken earnestly, mildly : his look was not,
indeed, that of a lover beholding his mistress ; but it was
that of a pastor recalling his wandering sheep — or better, of
a guardian angel watching the soul for which he is respon-
sible. All men of talent, whether they be men of feeling
or not ; whether they be zealots, or aspirants, or despots —
provided only they be sincere — have their sublime moments :
when they subdue and rule. I felt veneration for St. John
— veneration so strong that its impetus thrust me at once to
the point I had so long shunned. I was tempted to cease
struggling with him — to rush down the torrent of his will
into the gulf of his existence, and there lose my own. I
was almost as hard beset by him now as I had been once
512 JANE EYKE
before, in a different way, by another. I was a fool both
times. To have yielded then would have been an error of
principle ; to have yielded now would have been an error of
judgment. So I think at this hour, when I look back to
the crisis through the quiet medium of time: I was un-
conscious of folly at the instant.
I stood motionless under my hierophant's touch. My
refusals were forgotten— my fears overcome — my wrestlings
paralysed. The impossible —i.e. my marriage with St. John —
was fast becoming the Possible. All was changing utterly,
with a sudden sweep. Eeligion called — Angels beckoned —
God commanded — life rolled together like a scroll- death's
gates opening, showed eternity beyond : it seemed, that for
safety and bliss there, all here might be sacrificed in a
second. The dim room was full of visions.
* Could you decide now ? ' asked the missionary. The
inquiry was put in gentle tones . he drew me to him as
gently. Oh, that gentleness ! how far more potent is it than
force ! I could resist St. John's wrath . I grew pliant as a
reed under his kindness. Yet I knew all the time, if I
yielded now, I should not the less be made to repent, some
day, of my former rebellion. His nature was not changed
by one hour of solemn prayer : it was only elevated.
' I could decide if I were but certain,' I answered : ' were
I but convinced that it is God's will I should marry you, I
could vow to marry you here and now — come afterwards
what would I '
' My prayers are heard K ' ejaculated St. John. He
pressed his hand firmer on my head, as if he claimed me :
he surrounded me with his arm, almost as if he loved me (I
say almost — I knew the difference — for I had felt what it
was to be loved ; but, like him, I had now put love out of
the question, and thought only of duty) : I contended with
my inward dimness of vision, before which clouds yet rolled.
I sincerely, deeply, fervently longed to do what was right ;
and only that. ' Show me, show me the path ! ' I entreated
of Heaven. I was excited more than I had ever been ; and
JANE EYRE 513
whether what followed was the effect of excitement, the
reader shall judge.
All the house was still ; for I believe all, except St. John
and myself, were now retired to rest. The one candle was
dying out : the room was full of moonlight. My heart beat
fast and thick : I heard its throb. Suddenly it stood still to
an inexpressible feeling that thrilled it through, and passed
at once to my head and extremities. The feeling was not
like an electric shock ; but it was quite as sharp, as strange,
as startling : it acted on my senses as if their utmost
activity hitherto had been but torpor ; from which they were
now summoned, and forced to wake. They rose expectant :
eye and ear waited, while the flesh quivered on my bones.
1 Whar, have you heard ? What do you sec ? ' asked
St. John. I &aw nothing : but I heard a voice somewhere
cry — ' Jane ! Jane ! Jane ! f nothing more.
1 Oh God ! what is it ? ' I gasped.
I might have said, ' Where is it ? ' for it did not seem in
the room— nor in the house — nor in the garden : it did not
come out of the air — nor from under the earth — nor from
overhead. I had heard it — where, or whence, for ever im-
possible to know ! And it was the voice of a human being
— a known, loved, well-remembered voice — that of Edward
Fairfax Rochester; and it spoke in pain and woe wildly,
eeiily, urgently.
I 1 am coming ! ' I cried. ' Wait for me 1 Oh, I will
come ! ' I flew to the door, and looked into the passage : it
was dark. I ran out into the garden : it was void.
1 Where are you ? ' I exclaimed.
The hills beyond Marsh Glen sent the answer faintly
back — ' Where are you ? ' I listened. The wind sighed low
in the firs : all was moorland loneliness and midnight hush.
' Down superstition ! ' I commented, as that spectre rose
up black by the black yew at the gate. ' This is not thy de-
ception, nor thy witchcraft : it is the work of nature. She
was routed, and did — no miracle — but her best/
I broke from St. John, who had followed, and would
514 JANE EYKE
have detained me. It was my time to assume ascendancy.
My powers were in play, and in force. I told him to forbear
question or remark ; I desired him to leave me : I must,
and would be alone. He obeyed at once. Where there is
energy to command well enough, obedience never fails. I
mounted to my chamber ; locked myself in ; fell on my
knees; and prayed in my way — a different way to St.
John's, but effective in its own fashion. I seemed to pene-
trate very near a Mighty Spirit ; and my soul rushed out
in gratitude at His feet. I rose from the thanksgiving — took
a resolve — and lay down, unscared, enlightened — eager but
for the daylight.
JANE BYEB 615
CHAPTEE XXXVI
THE daylight came. I rose at dawn. I busied myself for
an hour or two with arranging my things in my chamber,
drawers, and wardrobe, in the order wherein I should wish
to leave them during a brief absence. Meantime, I heard
St. John quit his room. He stopped at my door : I feared
he would knock — no, but a slip of paper was passed under
the door. 1 took it up. It bore these words —
1 You left me too suddenly last night. Had you stayed
but a little longer, you would have laid your hand on the
Christian's cross and the angel's crown. I shall expect
your clear decision when I return this day fortnight.
Meantime, watch and pray that you enter not into tempta-
tion : the spirit, I trust, is willing, but the flesh, I see, is
weak. I shall pray for you hourly, — Yours, St. John.'
' My spirit,' I answered mentally, ' is willing to do what
is right ; and my flesh, I hope, is strong enough to accom-
plish the will of Heaven, when once that will is distinctly
known to me. At any rate, it shall be strong enough to
search— inquire — to grope an outlet from this cloud of
doubt, and find the open day of certainty.1
It was the first of June ; yet the morning was overcast
and chilly: rain beat fast on my casement. I heard the
front-door open, and St. John pass out. Looking through
the window, I saw him traverse the garden. He took the
way over the misty moors in the direction of Whitcross —
there he would meet the coach.
* In a few more hours I shall succeed you in that track,
cousin/ thought I : ' I too have a coach to meet at Whit-
516 JANE EYEE
cross. I too have some to see and ask after in England,
before I depart for ever/
It wanted yet two hours of breakfast-time. I filled the
interval in walking softly about my room, and pondering
the visitation which had given my plans their present bent.
I recalled that inward sensation I had experienced : for I
could recall it, with all its unspeakable strangeness. I
recalled the voice I had heard ; again I questioned whence
it came, as vainly as before : it seemed in me — not in the
external world. I asked, was it a mere nervous impression
— a delusion ? I could not conceive or believe : it was more
like an inspiration. The wondrous shook of feeling had
come like the earthquake which shook the foundations of
Paul and Silas's prison: it had opened the doors of the
soul's cell, and loosed its bands — it had wakened it out of
its sleep, whence it sprang trembling, listening, aghast ; then
vibrated thrice a cry on my startled ear, and in iny quaking
heart, and through my spirit; which neither feared nor
shook, but exulted as if in joy over the success of one effort
it had been privileged to make, independent of the cumbrous
body.
1 Ere many days,' I said, as I terminated my musings, ' I
will know something of him whose voice seemed last night
to summon me. Letters have proved of no avail — personal
inquiry shall replace them.1
At breakfast I announced to Diana and Mary that I was
going a journey, and should ba absent at least four days.
' Alone, Jane ? ' they asked.
'Yes; it was to see, or hear news of, a friend about
whom T had for some time been uneasy/
They might have said, as I have no doubt they thought,
that they had believed me to be without any friends save
them : for, indeed, I had often said so ; but with their true
natural delicacy, they abstained from comment : except that
Diana asked me if I was sure I was well enough to travel. I
looked very pale, she observed. I replied, that nothing ailed
me save anxiety of mind, which I hoped soon to alleviate.
JANE EYEE 517
It was easy to make my further arrangements; for I
was troubled with no inquiries — no surmises. Having once
explained to them that I could not now be explicit about
my plans, they kindly and wisely acquiesced in the silence
with which I pursued them ; according to me the privilege
of free action I should, under similar circumstances, have
accorded them.
I left Moor House at three o'clock P.M., and soon after
four I stood at the foot of the sign-post of Whitcross,
waiting the arrival of the coach which was to take me to
distant Thornfield. Amidst the silence of those solitary
roads and desert hills, I heard it approach from a great
distance. It was the same vehicle whence, a year ago, I
had alighted one summer evening on this very spot — how
desolate, and hopeless, and objectless 1 It stopped as I
beckoned. I entered — not now obliged to part with my
whole fortune as the price of its accommodation. Once
more on the road to Thornfield, I felt like the messenger-
pigeon flying home.
It was a journey of six-and-thirty hours. I had set out
from Whitcross on a Tuesday afternoon, and early on the
succeeding Thursday morning the coach stopped to water
the horses at a wayside inn, situated in the midst of scenery
whose green hedges and large fields and low pastoral hills
(how mild of feature and verdant of hue compared with the
stern north-midland moors of Morton!) met my eye like
the lineaments of a once familiar face. Yes, I knew the
character of this landscape : I was sure we were near my
bourne.
' How far is Thornfield Hall from here ? ' I asked of the
ostler.
' Just two miles, ma'am, across the fields/
1 My journey is closed/ I thought to myself. I got out
of the coach, gave a box I had into the ostler's charge, to be
kept till I called for it ; paid my fare ; satisfied the coach-
man, and was going : the brightening day gleamed on the
sign of the inn, and I read in gilt letters, ' The Rochester
518 JANE EYBE
Arms/ My hears leapt up : I was already on my master's
very lands. It fell again : the thought struck it : —
' Your master himself may be beyond the British Channel,
for aught you know : and then, if he is at Thornfield Hall,
towards which you hasten, who besides him is there ? His
lunatic wife : and you have nothing to do with him : you
dare not speak to him or seek his presence. You have lost
your labour — you had better go no farther/ urged the
monitor. ' Ask information of the people at the inn ; they
can give you all you seek : they can solve your doubts at
once. Go up to that man, and inquire if Mr. Rochester be
at home/
The suggestion was sensible ; and yet I could not force
myself to act on it. I so dreaded a reply that would crush
me with despair. To prolong doubt was to prolong hope.
I might yet once more see the Hall under the ray of her
star. There was the stile before me — the very fields through
which I had hurried, blind, deaf, distracted, with a revenge-
ful fury tracking and scourging me, on the morning I fled
from Thornfield: ere I well knew what course I had re-
solved to take, I was in the midst of them. How fast I
walked ! How I ran sometimes ! How I looked forward to
catch the first view of the well-known woods 1 With what
feelings I welcomed single trees I knew, and familiar
glimpses of rneadow and hill between them t
At last the woods rose; the rookery clustered dark;
a loud cawing broke the morning stillness. Strange delight
inspired me : on I hastened. Another field crossed — a lane
threaded— and there were the courtyard walls— the back
offices : the house itself, the rookery still hid. * My first
view of it shall be in front/ I determined, ' where its bold
battlements will strike the eye nobly at once, and where I
can single out my master's very window : perhaps he will
be standing at i$— he rises early : perhaps he is now walking
in the orchard, or on the pavement in front. Gould I but
see him ! — but a moment 1 Surely, in that case, I should
not be so mad as to run to him ? I cannot tell — I am noi
JANE EYKE 519
certain. And if I did— what then ? God bless him ! What
then ? Who would be hurt by my once more tasting the
life his glance can give me? — I rave: perhaps at this
moment he is watching the sun rise over the Pyrenees, or
on the tideless sea of the south/
I had coasted along the lower wall of the orchard —
turned its angle : there was a gate just there, opening into
the meadow, between two stone pillars, crowned by stone
balls. From behind one pillar I could peep round quietly
at the full front of the mansion. I advanced my head with
precaution, desirous to ascertain if any bedroom window-
blinds were yet drawn up : battlements, windows, long
front — all from this sheltered station were at my command.
The crows sailing overhead perhaps watched me while
I took this survey. I wonder what they thought : they
must have considered I was very careful and timid at first,
and that gradually I grew very bold and reckless. A peep,
and then a long stare ; and then a departure from my niche
and a straying out into the meadow ; and a sudden stop full
in front of the great mansion, and a protracted, hardy gaze
towards it. 'What affectation of diffidence was this at
first ? ' they might have demanded. ' What stupid regard-
lessness now ? '
Hear an illustration, reader.
A lover finds his mistress asleep on a mossy bank ; he
wishes to catch a glimpse of her fair face without waking
her. He steals softly over the grass, careful to make no
sound ; he pauses — fancying she has stirred : he withdraws ;
not for worlds would he be seen. All is still: he again
advances : he bends above her ; a light veil rests on her
features : he lifts it, bends lower ; now his eyes anticipate
the vision of beauty — warm, and blooming, and lovely, in
rest. How hurried was their first glance ! But how they
fix ! How he starts ! How he suddenly and vehemently
clasps in both arms the form he dared not, a moment since,
touch with his finger ! How he calls aloud a name, and
drops his burden, and gazes on it wildly 1 He thus grasps
520 JANE EYEE
and cries, and gazes, because he no longer fears to waken by
any sound he can utter — by any movement he can make.
He thought his love slept sweetly: he finds she is stone-
dead.
I looked with timorous joy towards a stately house : I
saw a blackened ruin.
No need to cower behind a gate-post, indeed ! — to peep
up at chamber lattices, fearing life was astir behind them !
No need to listen for doors opening — to fancy steps on the
pavement or the gravel-walk 1 The lawn, the grounds were
trodden and waste : the portal yawned void. The front
was, as I had once seen it in a dream, but a shell-like
wall, very high and very fragile looking, perforated with
paneless windows : no roof, no battlements, no chimneys —
till had crashed in.
And there was the silence of death about it : the solitude
of a lonesome wild. No wonder that letters addressed to
people here had never received an answer : as well
despatch epistles to a vault in a church aisle. The grim
blackness of the stones told by what fate the Hall had
fallen — by conflagration : but how kindled ? What story
belonged to this disaster ? What loss, besides mortar and
marble and wood-work, had followed upon it? Had life
been wrecked, as well as property? If so, whose? Dread-
ful question : there was no one here to answer it— not even
dumb sign, mute token.
In wandering round the shattered walls and through the
devastated interior, I gathered evidence that the calamity
was not of late occurrence. Winter snows, I thought, had
drifted through that void arch; winter rains beaten in at
those hollow casements ; for, amidst the drenched piles of
rubbish, spring had cherished vegetation : grass and weed
grew here and there between the stones and fallen rafters.
And oh! where, meantime, was the hapless owner of
this wreck? In what land? Under what auspices?
My eye involuntarily wandered to the grey church
tower near the gates, and I asked, 'Is he with Darner
JANE EYEE 521
de Eochester, sharing the shelter of his narrow marble
house ? '
Some answer must be had to these questions. I could
find it nowhere but at the inn, and thither, ere long, I
returned. The host himself brought my breakfast into the
parlour. I requested him to shut the door and sit down :
I had some questions to ask him. But when he complied,
I scarcely knew how to begin; such horror had I oi the
possible answers. And yet the spectacle of desolation I had
just left prepared me in a measure for a tale of misery.
The host was a respectable-looking, middle-aged man.
1 You know Thornfield Hall, of course ? ' I managed to
say at last.
' Yes, raa'am ; I lived there once/
' Did you V Not in my time, I thought : you are a
stranger to me.
' I was the late Mr. Eochester fs butler/ he added.
The late I I seemed to have received with full force the
blow I had been trying to evade.
' The late ! ' I gasped. ' Is he dead ? '
* I mean the present gentleman, Mr. Edward's father/
he explained.
I breathed again : my blood resumed its flow. Fully
assured by these words that Mr. Edward — my Mr. Eochester
(God bless him, wherever he was !) — was at least alive : was,
in short, ' the present gentleman/ Gladdening words ! It
seemed I could hear all that was to come — whatever the
disclosures might be — with comparative tranquillity. Since
he was not in the grave, I could bear, I thought, to learn
that he was at the Antipodes.
'Is Mr. Eochester living at Thornfield Hall now?' I
asked, knowing, of course, what the answer would be, but
yet desirous of deferring the direct question as to where he
really was.
' No, ma'am — oh, no ! No one is living there. I
suppose you are a stranger in these parts, or you would
have heard what happened last autumn, — Thornfield Hall
522 JANE EYEE
is quite a ruin : it was burnt down just about harvest time
A dreadful calamity ! such an immense quantity of valuable
property destroyed: hardly any of the furniture could be
saved. The fire broke out at dead of night, and before the
engines arrived from Millcote, the building was one mass of
flame. It was a terrible spectacle : I witnessed it myself.'
' At dead of night 1 ' I muttered. Yes, that was ever the
hour of fatality at Thornfield. ' Was it known how it
originated ? ' I demanded.
I They guessed, ma'am : they guessed. Indeed, I
should say it was ascertained beyond a doubt. You are not
perhaps aware,1 he continued, edging his chair a little nearer
the table, and speaking low, ' that there was a lady, — a — a
lunatic, kept in the house ? '
I 1 have heard something of it/
1 She was kept in very close confinement, ma'am; people
even for some years was not absolutely certain of her exist-
ence. No one saw her : they only knew by rumour that
such a person was at the Hall ; and who or what she was
it was difficult to conjecture. They said Mr. Edward had
brought her from abroad ; and some believed she had been
his mistress. But a queer thing happened a year since — a
very queer thing/
I feared now to hear my own story. I endeavoured to
recall him to the main fact.
1 And this lady ? '
' This lady, ma'am/ he answered, ' turned out to be Mr.
^Rochester's wife 1 The discovery was brought about in the
strangest way. There was a young lady, a governess at the
Hall, that Mr. Eochester fell in '
' But the fire,' I suggested.
' I'm coming to that, ma'am — that Mr. Edward fell in
love with. The servants say they never saw anybody so
much in love as he was: he was after her continually.
They used to watch him — servants will, you know, ma'am —
and he set store on her past everything : for all, nobody but
him thought her so very handsome. She was a little smal)
JANE EYRE 523
thing, they say, almost like a child. I never saw her my-
self ; but I've heard Leah, the housemaid, tell of her. Leah
liked her well enough. Mr. Eochester was about forty, and
this governess not twenty ; and you see, when gentlemen
of his age fall in love with girls, they are often like as if they
were bewitched : well, he would marry her.'
' You shall tell me this part of the story another time/ I
said ; ' but now I have a particular reason for wishing to hear
all about the fire. Was it suspected that this lunatic, Mrs.
Rochester, had any hand in it ? '
' You've hit it, ma'am : it's quite certain that it was her
and nobody but her, that set it going. She had a woman to
take care of her called Mrs. Poole — an able woman in her
line, and very trustworthy, but for one fault — a fault common
to a deal of them nurses and matrons — she kept a private
bottle of gin by for, and now and then took a drop over
much. It is excusable, for she had a hard life of it : but
still it was dangerous ; for when Mrs. Poole was fast asleep,
after the gin-and-water, the mad lady, who was as cunning
as a witch, would take the keys out of her pocket, let her-
self out of her chamber, and go roaming about the house,
doing any wild mischief that came into her head. They say
she had nearly burnt her husband in his bed once : but I
don't know about that. However, on this night, she set fire
first to the hangings of the room next her own ; and then she
got down to a lower story, and made her way to the chamber
that had been the governess's — (she was like as if she knew
somehow how matters had gone on, and had a spite at her)
— and she kindled the bed there; but there was nobody
sleeping in it fortunately. The governess had run away two
months before ; and for all Mr. Rochester sought her as if
she had been the most precious thing he had in the world,
he never oould hear a word of her ; and he grew savage — .
quite savage on his disappointment : he never was a wild
man, but he got dangerous after he lost her. He would be
alone, too. He sent Mrs. Fairfax, the housekeeper, away to
her friends at a distance ; but he did it handsomely, for he
524 JANE EYEE
settled an annuity on her for life : and she deserved it — she
•was a very good woman. Miss Ad&le, a ward he had,
was put to school. He broke off acquaintance with all the
gentry, and shut himself up, like a hermit, at the Hall.'
'What! did he not leave England ?'
' Leave England ? Bless you, no ! He would not cross
the door-stones of the house; except at night, when he
walked just like a ghost about the grounds and in the
orchard as if he had lost his senses — which it is my opinion
lie had ; for a more spirited, holder, keener gentleman than
he was before that midge of a governess crossed him, you
never saw, ma'am. He was not a man given to wine, or
cards, or racing, as some are, and he was not so very hand-
some ; but he had a courage and a will of his own, if ever
man had. I knew him from a boy, you see : and for my
part I have often wished that Miss Eyre had been sunk in
the sea before she came to Thornfield Hall/
1 Then Mr. Eochester was at home when the fire broke
out?'
1 Yes, indeed was he ; and he went up to the attics when
all was burning above and below, and got the servants out of
their beds and helped them down himself — and went back
to get his mad wife out of her cell. And then they called
out to him that she was on the roof ; where she was standing,
waving her arms, above the battlements, and shouting out
till they could hear her a mile off; I saw her and heard her
with my own eyes. She was a big woman, and had long
black hair : we could see it streaming against the flames as
she stood. I witnessed, and several more witnessed Mr.
Eochester ascend through the skylight on to the roof : we
heard him call " Bertha 1 " We saw him approach her ;
and then, ma'am, she yelled, and gave a spring, and the next
jninute she lay smashed on the pavement.'
1 Dead ? '
1 Dead ? Ay, dead as the stones on which her brains and
blood were scattered.'
1 Good God!'
JANE EYEE 525
1 You may well say so, ma'am : it was frightful 1 '
He shuddered.
1 And afterwards ? ' I urged.
1 Well, ma'am, afterwards the house was burnt to the
ground : there are only some bits of walls standing now/
1 Were any other lives lost ? '
1 No — perhaps it would have been better if there had.'
1 What do you mean ? '
1 Poor Mr. Edward ! ' he ejaculated, ' I little thought ever
to have seen it ! Some say it was a just judgment on him
for keeping his first marriage secret, and wanting to take
another wife while he had one living : but I pity him, for my
part.1
1 You Naid he was alive ? ' I exclaimed.
' Yes, yes : he is alive ; but many think he had better be
dead/
1 Why ? How ? ' My blood was again running cold.
1 Where is he ? ' I demanded. * Is he in England ? '
' Ay — ay — he's in England ; he can't get out of England,
I fancy — he's a fixture now/
What agony was this ! And the man seemed resolved to
protract it.
1 He is stone-blind,1 he said at last. ' Yes — he is stone-
blind — is Mr. Edward/
I had dreaded worse. I had dreaded he was mad. I
summoned strength to ask what had caused this calamity.
1 It was all his own courage, and a body may say, his
kindness, in a way, ma'am : he wouldn't leave the house till
every one else was out before him. As he came down the
great staircase at last, after Mrs. Eochester had flung herself
from the battlements, there was a great crash — all fell. He
was taken out from under the ruins, alive, but sadly hurt : a
beam had fallen in such a way as to protect him partly ; but
one eye was knocked out, and one hand so crushed that Mr.
Carter, the surgeon, had to amputate it directly. The other
eye inflamed : he lost the sight of that also. He is now
helpless, indeed— blind and a cripple/
526 JANE EYEE
1 Where is he V Where does he now live ? '
1 At Ferndean, a manor-house on a farm he has, about
thirty miles off: quite a desolate spot.1
' Who is with him ? '
' Old John arid his wife : he would have none else. He is
quite broken down, they say.'
1 Have you any sort of conveyance ? '
1 We have a chaise, ma'am, a very handsome chaise/
' Let it be got ready instantly ; and if your post-boy can
drive me to Ferndean before dark this day, I'll pay both you
and him twice the hire you usually demand/
JANE EYBB 527
CHAPTEE XXXVII
THE manor-house of Ferndean was a building of considerable
antiquity, moderate size, and no architectural pretensions,
deep buried in a wood. I had heard of it before. Mr.
Bochester often spoke of it, and sometimes went there. His
father had purchased the estate for the sake of the game
covers. He would have let the house ; but could find no
tenant, in consequence of its ineligible and insalubrious site.
Ferndean then remained uninhabited and unfurnished ; with
the exception of some two or three rooms fitted up for the
accommodation of the squire when he went there in the
season to shoot.
To this house I came, just ere dark, on an evening
marked by the characteristics of sad sky, cold gale, and
continued small, penetrating rain. The last mile I performed
on foot, having dismissed the chaise and driver with the
double remuneration I had promised. Even when within a
very short distance of the manor-house you could see
nothing of it; so thick and dark grew the timber of the
gloomy wood about it. Iron gates between granite pillars
showed me where to enter, and passing through them, I
found myself at once in the twilight of close-ranked trees.
There was a grass-grown track descending the forest aisle,
between hoar and knotty shafts and under branched arches.
I followed it, expecting soon to reach the dwelling ; but it
stretched on and on, it wound far and farther : no sign of
habitation or grounds was visible.
I thought I had taken a wrong direction and lost my
way. The darkness of natural as well as of sylvan dusk
gathered over me. I looked round in search of another
528 JANE EYBE
road. There was none : all was interwoven stem, columnar
trunk, dense, summer foliage — no opening anywhere.
I proceeded : at last my way opened, the trees thinned a
little ; presently I beheld a railing, then the house — scarce,
by this dim light, distinguishable from the trees ; so dauk
and green were its decaying walls. Entering a portal,
fastened only by a latch, I stood amidst a space of enclosed
ground, from which the wood swept away in a semicircle.
There were no flowers, no garden-beds ; only a broad gravel-
walk girdling a grass-plat, and this set in the heavy frame
of the forest. The house presented two pointed gables in
its front ; the windows were latticed and narrow ; the front
door was narrow too, one step led up to it. The whole
looked, as the host of the Eochester Arms had said, * quite a
desolate spot.' It was as still as a church on a week-day :
the pattering rain on the forest leaves was the only sound
audible in its vicinage.
' Can there be life here ? ' I asked.
Yes : life of some kind there was : for I heard a move-
ment— that narrow front door was unclosing, and some
shape was about to issue from the grange.
It opened slowly : a figure came out into the twilight and
stood on the step ; a man without a hat : he stretched forth
his hand as if to feel whether it rained. Dusk as it was, I
had recognised him — it was my master, Edward Fairfax
Rochester, and no other.
I stayed my step, almost my breath, and stood to watch
him — to examine him, myself unseen, and alas ! to him
invisible. It was a sudden meeting, and one in which
rapture was kept well in check by pain. I had no difficulty
in restraining my voice from exclamation, my step from
hasty advance.
His form was of the same strong and stalwart contour as
ever : his port was still erect, his hair was still raven-black ;
nor were his features altered or sunk: not in one year's
space, by any sorrow, could his athletic strength be quelled,
or his vigorous prime blighted. But in his countenance I
JANE EYEE 529
saw a change: that looked desperate and brooding — that
reminded ine of some wronged and fettered wild beast or
bird, dangerous to approach in his sullen woe. The caged
eagle, whose gold-ringed eyes cruelty has extinguished, might
look as looked that sightless Samson.
And, reader, do you think I feared him in his blind
ferocity ? — if you do, you little know me. A soft hope blent
with my sorrow that soon I should dare to drop a kiss on
that brow of rock, and on those lips so sternly sealed beneath
it : but not yet. 1 would not accost him yet.
He descended the one step, and advanced slowly and
gropingly towards the grass-plat. Where was his daring
stride now ? Then he paused, as if he knew not which way
to turn. He lifted his hand and opened his eyelids ; gazed
blank, and with a straining effort, on the sky, and towards
the amphitheatre of trees : one saw that all to him was void
darkness. He stretched his right hand (the left arm, the
mutilated one, he kept hidden in his bosom) ; he seemed to
wish by touch to gain an idea of what lay around him : he
met but vacancy still; for the trees were some yards ofi
where he stood. He relinquished the endeavour, folded his
arms, and stood quiet and mute in the rain, now falling fast
on his uncovered head. At this moment John approached
him trom some quarter.
' Will you take my arm, sir ? ' he said ; ' there is a heavy
shower coming on • had you not better go in ? '
' Let me alone/ was the answer.
John withdrew, without having observed me. Mr.
Eochester now tried to walk about: vainly, — all was too
uncertain. He groped his way back to the house, and, re-
entering it, closed the door.
I now drew near and knocked : John's wife opened for
me. ' Mary/ I said, ' how are you ? '
She started as if she had seen a ghost : I calmed her.
To her hurried * Is it really you, miss, come at this late hour
to this 'only place ? ' I answered by taking her hand ; and
then I followed her into the kitchen, where John now sat by
530 JANE EYEE
a good fire. I explained to them, in few words, that I had
heard all which had happened since I left Thornfield, and
that I was come to see Mr. Eochester. I asked John to go
down to the turnpike-house, where I had dismissed the
chaise, and bring my trunk, which I had left there : and
then, while I removed my bonnet and shawl, I questioned
Mary as to whether I could be accommodated at the Manor
House for the night ; and finding that arrangements to that
effect, though difficult, would not be impossible, I informed
her I should stay. Just at this moment the parlour-bell
rang.
1 When you go in,' said I, ' tell your master that a person
wishes to speak to him, but do not give my name.1
' I don't think he will see you/ she answered ; * he refuses
everybody/
When she returned I inquired what he had said.
' You are to send in your name and your business/ she
replied. She then proceeded to fill a glass with water, and
place it on a tray, together with candles.
' Is that what he rang for ? f I asked.
' Yes : he always has candles brought in at dark, though
he is blind/
' Give the tray to me ; I will carry it in.'
I took it from her hand : she pointed me out the parlour
door. The tray shook as I held it ; the water spilt from the
glass ; my heart struck my ribs loud and fast. Mary opened
the door for me, and shut it behind me.
This parlour looked gloomy : a neglected handful of fire
burnt low in the grate ; and, leaning over it, with his head
supported against the high, old-fashioned mantelpiece,
appeared the blind tenant of the room. His old dog, Pilot,
lay on one side, removed out of the way, and coiled up
as if afraid of being inadvertently trodden upon. Pilot
pricked up his ears when I came in : then he jumped up with
a yelp and a whine, and bounded towards me : he almost
knocked the tray from my hands. I set it on the table ; then
patted him, and said softly, 'Lie down!' Mr. Rochester
JANE EYRE 531
turned mechanically to see what the commotion was : but as
he saw nothing, he re-turned and sighed.
' Give me the water, Mary/ he said.
I approached him with the now only half-filled glass :
Pilot followed me, still excited.
1 What is the matter ? ' he inquired. •
' Down, Pilot ! ' I again said. He checked the water on
its way to his lips, and seemed to listen : he drank, and put
the glass down. ' This is you, Mary, is it not ? '
1 Mary is in the kitchen/ I answered.
He put out his hand with a quick gesture, but not seeing
where I stood, he did not touch me. ' Who is this ? Who
is this ? ' he demanded, trying, as it seemed, to see with those
sightless eyes — unavailing and distressing attempt 1 ' Answer
me — speak again 1 ' he ordered, imperiously and aloud.
1 Will you have a little more water, sir ? I spilfc half of
what was in the glass,1 1 said.
' Who is it ? What is it ? Who speaks ? '
' Pilot knows me, and John and Mary know I am here.
I came only this evening/ I answered.
' Great God ! — what delusion has come over me ? What
sweet madness has seized me ? '
' No delusion — no madness : your mind, sir, is too strong
for delusion, your health too sound for frenzy/
1 And where is the speaker ? Is it only a voice ? Oh I I
cannot see, but I must feel, or my heart will stop and my
brain burst. Whatever — whoever you are — be perceptible
to the touch or I cannot live ! '
He groped ; I arrested his wandering hand, and prisoned
it in both mine.
1 Her very fingers ! ' he cried ; ' her small, slight fingers !
If so, there must be more of her/
The muscular hand broke from my custody ; my arm
was seized, my shoulder — neck — waist — I was entwined and
gathered to him.
' Is it Jane ? What is it ? This is her shape— this is her
size •
532 JANE EYEE
1 And this her voice,' I added. ' She is all here : her
heart, too. God bless you, sir ! I am glad to he so near you
again/
1 Jane Eyre 1 — Jane Eyre ! ' was all he said.
' My dear master/ I answered, ' I am Jane Eyre : I have
found you out — Lam come back to you/
' In truth ?— in the flesh ? My living Jane ? '
1 You touch me, sir, — you hold me, and fast enough ; I
am not cold like a corpse, nor vacant like air, am I ? '
1 My living darling ! These are certainly her limbs, and
these her features ; but I cannot be so blest, after all my
misery. It is a dream; such dreams as I have had at
night when I have clasped her once more to my heart, as I
do now ; and kissed her, as thus — and felt that she loved
me, and trusted that she-would not leave me/
' Which I never will, sir, from this day/
1 Never will, says the vision ? But I always woke and
found it an empty mockery ; and I was desolate and
abandoned — my life dark, lonely, hopeless — my soul athirst
and forbidden to drink — my heart famished and never to be
fed. Gentle, soft dream, nestling in my arms now, you will
fly, too, as your sisters have all fled before you : but kiss me
before you ago — embrace me, Jane/
' There, sir — and there I '
I pressed my lips to his once brilliant and now rayless
eyes — I swept his hair from his brow, and kissed that too.
He suddenly seemed to arouse himself : the conviction of
the reality of all this seized him.
1 It is you— is it Jane ? You are come back to me then ? '
• I am/
1 And you do not lie dead in some , ditch under some
stream? And you are not a pining outcast amongst
strangers ? '
' No, sir ; I am an independent woman now/
1 Independent ! What do you mean, Jane ? '
1 My uncle in Madeira is dead, and he left me five thou-
sand pounds/
JANE EYEE 533
' Ah, this is practical — this is real 1 ' he cried : ' I should
never dream that. Besides, there is that peculiar voice of
hers, so animating and piquant, as well as soft : it cheers
my withered heart ; it puts life into it. — What, Janet !
Are you an independent woman ? A rich woman ? f
' Quite rich, sir. If you won't let me live with you, I can
build a house of my own close up to your door, and you may
come and sit in my parlour when you want company of an
evening/
'But as you are rich, Jane, you have now, no doubt,
friends who will look after you, and not suffer you to devote
yourself to a blind lameier like me ? '
' I told you I am independent, sir, as well as rich : I am
my own mistress.'
' And you will stay with me ? '
1 Certainly — unless you object. I will be your neighbour,
your nurse, your housekeeper. I find you lonely : I will be
your companion — to read to you, to walk with you, to sit
with you, to wait on you, to be eyes and hands to you.
Cease to look so melancholy, my dear master ; you shall not
be left desolate, so long as I live.'
He replied not : he seemed serious— abstracted ; he
sighed; he half -opened his lips as if to speak: he closed
them again. I felt a little embarrassed. Perhaps I had too
rashly overleaped conventionalities ; and he, like St. John,
saw impropriety in my inconsiderateness. I had indeed
made my proposal from the idea that he wished and would
ask me to be his wife : an expectation, not the less certain
because unexpressed, had buoyed me up, that he would
claim me at once as his own. But no hint to that effect
escaping him, and his countenance becoming more overcast,
I suddenly remembered that I might have been all wrong,
and was perhaps playing the fool unwittingly ; and I began
gently to withdraw myself from his arms — but he eagerly
snatched me closer.
' No — no — Jane : you must not go. No — I have touched
you, heard you, felt the comfort of your presence — the
534 JANE EYRE
sweetness of your consolation : I cannot give up these joys.
I have little left in myself — I must have you. The world
may laugh—may call me absurd, selfish — but it does not
signify. My very soul demands you : it will be satisfied : or
it will take deadly vengeance on its frame/
1 Well, sir, I will stay with you : I have said so.'
1 Yes — but you understand one thing by staying with me ;
and I understand another. You, perhaps, could make up
your mind to be about my hand and chair — to wait on me
as a kind little nurse> (for you have an affectionate heart and
a generous spirit, which prompt you to make sacrifices for
those you pity), and that ought to suffice for me no doubt.
I suppose I should now entertain none but fatherly feelings
for you : do you think so ? Come— tell me.'
' I will think what you like, sir : I am content to be only
your nurse, if you think it better.'
' But you cannot always be my nurse, Janet : you are
young — you must marry one day.'
' I don't care about being married.'
1 You should care, Janet : if I were what I once was, I
would try to make you care— but — a sightless block ! '
He relapsed again into gloom. I, on the contrary,
became more cheerful, and took fresh courage : these last
words gave me an insight as to where the difficulty lay ; and
as it was no difficulty with me, I felt quite relieved from my
previous embarrassment. I resumed a livelier vein of con-
versation.
'It is time some one undertook to rehumanise you,'
said I, parting his thick and long uncut locks ; ' for I see
you are being metamorphosed into a lion, or something of
that sort. You have a " faux air " of Nebuchadnezzar in the
fields about you, that is certain : your hair reminds me of
eagle's feathers; whether your nails are grown like bird's
claws or not, I have not yet noticed.'
' On this arm I have neither hand nor nails,' he said,
drawing the mutilated limb from his breast, and showing it
JANE EYEE 636
to me. * It is a mere stump — a ghastly sight 1 Don't you
think so, Jane ? '
' It is a pity to see it ; and a pity to see your eyes — and
the scar of fire on your forehead : and the worst of it is, one
is in danger of loving you too well for all this ; and making
too much of you/
' I thought you would be revolted, Jane, when you saw
my arm and my cicatrised visage.1
1 Did you ? Don't tell me so — lest I should say some-
thing disparaging to your judgment. Now, let me leave
you an instant, to make a better fire, and have the hearth
swept up. Can you tell when there is a good fire ? '
' Yes ; with the right eye I see a glow — a ruddy haze.'
' And you see the candles ? '
' Very dimly — each is a luminous cloud.'
' Can you see ine ? '
1 No, my fairy : but I am only too thankful to hear and
feel you.1
1 When do you take supper ? '
' I never take supper/
' But you shall have some to-night. I am hungry : so
are you, I daresay, only you forget/
Summoning Mary, I soon had the room in more cheerful
order : I prepared him, likewise, a comfortable repast. My
spirits were excited, and with pleasure and ease I talked to
him during supper, and for a long time after. There was
no harassing restraint, no repressing of glee and vivacity
with him ; for with him I was at perfect ease, because I
knew I suited him : all I said or did seemed either to console
or revive him. Delightful consciousness ! It brought to
life and light my whole nature : in his presence I thoroughly
lived; and he lived in mine. Blind as he was, smiles
played over his face, joy dawned on his forehead; his
lineaments softened and warmed.
After supper he began to ask me many questions, of
where I had been, what I had been doing, how I had found
out ; but I gave him only very partial replies : it was
536 JANE EYBE
too late to enter into particulars that night. Besides, I
wished to touch no deep-thrilling chord — to open no fresh
well of emotion in his heart : my sole present aim was to
cheer him. Cheered, as I have said, he was : and yet but
by fits. If a moment's silence broke the conversation, he
would turn restless, touch me, then say, ' Jane.'
I You are altogether a human being, Jane ? You are
certain of that ? '
I 1 conscientiously believe so, Mr. Eochester.'
' Yet how, on this dark and doleful evening, could you so
suddenly rise on my lone hearth ? I stretched my hand to
take a glass of water from a hireling, and it was given me
by you : I asked a question, expecting John's wife to answer
me, and your voice spoke at my ear.'
1 Because I had come in, in Mary's stead, with the tray.'
1 And there is enchantment in the very hour I am now
spending with you. Who can tell what a dark, dreary,
hopeless life I have dragged on for months past? Doing
nothing, expecting nothing ; merging night in day ; feeling
but the sensation of cold when I let the fire go out, of hunger
when I forgot to eat : and then a ceaseless sorrow, and, at
times, a very delirium of desire to behold my Jane again.
Yes : for her restoration I longed, far more than for that of
my lost sight. How can it be that Jane is with me, and
says she loves me ? Will she not depart as suddenly as she
came ? To-morrow, I fear, I shall find her no more.'
A common-place, practical reply, out of the train of his
own disturbed ideas, was, I was sure, the best and most re-
assuring for him in this frame of mind. I passed my finger
over his eyebrows, and remarked that they were scorched,
and that I would apply something which should make them
grow as broad and black as ever.
' Where is the use of doing me good in any way, bene-
ficent spirit, when, at some fatal moment, you will again
desert me — passing like a shadow, whither and how to me
unknown; and for me remaining afterwards undiscover-
able?'
JANE EYRE 537
1 Have you a pocket comb about you, sir ? '
'What for, Jane?'
' Just to comb out this shaggy black mane. I find you
rather alarming when I examine you close at hand : you
talk of my being a fairy ; but I am sure you are more like a
brownie/
1 Am I hideous, Jane ? *
' Very, sir : you always were, you know.'
1 Humph ! The wickedness has not been taken out of you,
wherever you have sojourned.1
' Yet I have been with good people ; far better than you :
a hundred times better people ; possessed of ideas and views
you never entertained in your life : quite more refined and
exalted/
1 Who the deuce have you been with ? '
' If you twist in that way you will make me pull the
hair out of your head ; and then I think you will cease to
entertain doubts of my substantiality/
' Who have you been with, Jane ? '
' You shall not get it out of me to-night, sir ; you must
wait till to-morrow; to leave my tale half told will, you
know, be a sort of security that I shall appear at your break-
fast table to finish it. By-the-bye, I must mind not to rise
on your hearth with only a glass of water, then : I must
bring an egg at the least, to say nothing of fried ham/
' You mocking changeling — fairy-born and human-bred !
You make me feel as I have not felt these twelve months. If
Saul could have had you for his David, the evil spirit would
have been exorcised without the aid of the harp/
1 There, sir, you are redd up and made decent. Now I'll
leave you : I have been travelling these last three days, and I
believe I am tired. Good-night/
'Just one word, Jane: were there only ladies in the
house where you have been ? '
I laughed and made my escape, still laughing as I ran
upstairs. ' A gpod idea ! ' I thought, with glee. ' I see I
538 JANE EYEE
have the means of fretting him out of his melancholy for
some time to come.'
Very early the next morning I heard him up and astir,
wandering from one room to another. As soon as Mary
came down I heard the question : ' Is Miss Eyre here ? '
Then : ' Which room did you put her into ? Was it dry ?
Is she up ? Go and ask if she wants anything ; and when
she will come down.'
I came down as soon as I thought there was a prospect
of breakfast. Entering the room very softly, I had a view
of him before he discovered my presence. It was mournful
indeed to witness the subjugation of that vigorous spirit to
a corporeal infirmity. He sat in his chair, — still, but not at
rest : expectant evidently; the lines of now habitual sadness
marking his strong features. His countenance reminded
one of a lamp quenched, waiting to be relit — and alas ! it
was not himself that could now kindle the lustre of animated
expression : he was dependent on another for that office ! I
had meant to be gay and careless, but the powerlessness of the
strong man touched my heart to the quick : still I accosted
him with what vivacity I could: 'It is a bright, sunny
morning, sir/ I said. ' The rain is over and gone, and there
is a tender shining after it : you shall have a walk soon.'
I had wakened the glow : his features beamed.
1 Oh, you are indeed there, my sky lark ! Come to me.
You are not gone : not vanished ? I heard one of your kind
an hour ago, singing high over the wood : but its song had
no music for me, any more than the rising sun had rays.
All the melody on earth is concentrated in my Jane's
tongue to my ear (I am glad it is not naturally a silent one) :
all the sunshine I can feel is in her presence.1
The water stood in my eyes to hear this avowal of his
dependence : just as if a royal eagle, chained to a perch,
should be forced to entreat a sparrow to become its purveyor.
But I would not be lachrymose : I dashed off the salt drops,
and busied myself with preparing breakfast.
Most of the morning was spent in the open air. I led
JANE EYBB 539
him out of the wet and wild wood into some cheerful fields :
I described to him how brilliantly green they were ; how the
flowers and hedges looked refreshed ; how sparklmgly blue
was the sky. I sought a seat for him in a hidden and lovely
spot : a dry stump of a tree : nor did I refuse to let him, when
seated, place me on his knee : why .should I, when both he and
I were happier near than apart ? Pilot lay beside us : all was
quiet. He broke out suddenly while clasping me in his
arms : ' Cruel, cruel deserter ! Oh, Jane, what did I feel
when I discovered you had fled from Thornfield, and when
I could nowhere find you; and, after examining your
apartment, ascertained that you had taken no money, nor
anything which could serve as an equivalent ! A pearl neck-
lace I had given you lay untouched in its little casket , your
trunks were left corded and locked as they had been prepared
for the bridal tour. What could my darling do, I asked, left
destitute and penniless ? And what did she do ? Let me
hear now.'
Thus urged, I began the narrative of my experience for
the last year. I softened considerably what related to the
three days of wandering and starvation, because to have
told him all would have been to inflict unnecessary pain :
the little 1 did say lacerated his faithful heart deeper than I
wished.
I should not have left him thus, he said, without any
means of making my way: I should have told him my
intention. I should have confided in him : he would never
have forced me to be his mistress. Violent as he had
seemed in his despair, he, in truth, loved me far too well
and too tenderly to constitute himself my tyrant he would
have given me half his fortune, without demanding so much
as a kiss in return, rather than I should have flung myself
friendless on the wide world. I had endured, he was
certain, more than I had confessed to him. —
' Well, whatever my sufferings had been, they were very
short,' I answered : and then I proceeded to tell him how J
had been received at Moor House ; how I had obtained the
540 JANE EYBE
office of schoolmistress, &c. The accession of fortune, the
discovery of my relations, followed in due order. Of course
St. John Elvers' name came in frequently in the progress
of my tale. When I had done that name was immediately
taken up.
' This St. John, then, is your cousin ? '
1 Yes/
1 You have spoken of him often : do you like him? '
* He was a very good man, sir ; I could not help liking
him/
'A good man? Does that mean a respectable, well-
conducted man of fifty ? Or what does it mean ? '
1 St. John was only twenty-nine, sir.'
' " Jeune encore" as the French say. Is he a person of
low stature, phlegmatic, and plain ? A person whose good-
ness consists rather in his guiltlessness of vice than in his
prowess in virtue ? '
1 He is untiringly active. Great and exalted deeds are
what he lives to perform/
1 But his brain ? That is probably rather soft ? He
means well: but you shrug your shoulders to hear him
talk?'
1 He talks little, sir : what he does say is ever to the
point. His brain is first-rate, I should think not impres-
sible, but vigorous/
1 Is he an able man, then ? '
' Truly able/
' A thoroughly educated man ? '
1 St. John is an accomplished and profound scholar/
' His manners, I think, you said are not to your taste ? —
priggish and parsonic ? f
'I never mentioned his manners; but, unless I had a
very bad taste, they must suit it ; they are polished, calm,
and gentlemanlike/
1 His appearance, — I forget what description you gave of
his appearance ; — a sort of raw curate, half -strangled with
JANE EYBB 541
his white neckcloth, and stilted up on his thick-soled high-
lows, eh ? '
' St. John dresses well. He is a handsome man : tall,
fair, with blue eyes and a Grecian profile.'
(Aside.) [ Damn him 1 ' — (To me.) ' Did you like him,
Jane ? '
' Yes, Mr. Rochester, I liked him : but you asked me that
before.'
I perceived, of course, the drift of my interlocutor.
Jealousy had got hold of him : she stung him ; but the sting
was salutary : it gave him respite from the gnawing fang of
melancholy. I would not, therefore, immediately charm
the snake.
' Perhaps you would rather not sit any longer on my
knee, Miss Eyre?' was the next somewhat unexpected
observation.
I Why not, Mr. Rochester? '
'The picture you have just drawn is suggestive of a
rather too overwhelming contrast. Your words have
delineated very prettily a graceful Apollo he is present to
your imagination, — tall, fair, blue-eyed, and with a Grecian
profile. Your eyes dwell on a Vulcan, —a real blacksmith,
brown, broad-shouldered; and blind and lame into the
bargain.'
I 1 never thought of it before ; but you certainly are
rather like Vulcan, sir.'
' Well, — you can leave me, ma'am : but before you go '
(and he retained me by a firmer grasp than ever), ' you will
be pleased just to answer me a question or two.' He
paused.
1 What questions, Mr. Rochester ? '
Then followed this cross-examination.
' St. John made you schoolmistress of Morton before he
knew you were his cousin ? '
1 Yes.'
' You would often see him ? He would visit the school
sometimes ? '
542 JANE EYKB
'Daily/
' He would approve of your plans, Jane ? I know they
would be clever, for you are a talented creature.'
' He approved of them — yes.1
' He would discover many things in you he could not
have expected to find ? Some of your accomplishments are
not ordinary/
' I don't know about that/
6 You had a little cottage near the school, you say : did
he ever come there to see you ? '
* Now and then/
' Of an evening ? '
' Once or twice/
A pause.
' How long did you reside with him and his sisters after
the cousinship was discovered ? '
' Five months/
'Did Elvers spend much time with the ladies of his
family ? '
' Yes ; the back parlour was both his study and ours : he
safi near the window, and we by the table/
4 Did he study much?'
1 A good deal/
'What?'
• Hindostanee/
'And what did you do meantime?'
4 1 learnt German, at first/
' Did he teach you ? '
' He did not understand German/
' Did he teach you nothing ? '
' A little Hindostanee/
' Bivers taught you Hindostanee ? '
' Yes, sir/
1 And his sisters also ? '
•No/
: Only you?'
' Only me/
JANE EYBE 543
1 Did you ask to learn ? '
•No/
' He wished to teach you ? '
•Yes/
A second pause.
1 Why did he wish it ? Of what use could Hindostanee
be to you ? '
* He intended me to go with him to India.'
' Ah ! here I reach the root of the matter. He wanted
you to marry him ? '
' He asked me to marry him.
' That is a fiction — an impudent invention to vex me.'
' I beg your pardon, it is the literal truth : he asked me
more than once, and was as stiff about urging his point as
ever you could be.'
' Miss Eyre, I repeat it, you can leave me. How often
am I to say the same thing ? Why do you remain pertina-
ciously perched on my knee, when I have given you notice
to quit ? '
* Because I am comfortable there.
1 No, Jane, you are not comfortable there, because your
heart is not with me : it is with this cousin — this St. John.
Oh, till this moment I thought my little Jane was all mine !
I had a belief she loved me even when she left me : that was
an atom of sweet in much bitter. Long as we have been
parted, hot tears as I have wept over our separation, I never
thought that while I was mourning her she was loving
another I But it is useless grieving. Jane, leave me : go
and marry Eivers.'
' Shake me off, then, sir — push me away, for I'll not
leave you of my own accord/
' Jane, I ever like your tone of voice : it still renews
hope, it sounds so truthful. When I hear it, it carries me
back a year. I forget that you have formed a new tie. But
1 am not a fool — go '
1 Where must I go, sir ? '
* Your own way — with the husband you have chosen.'
T2
644 JANE EYEE
' Who is that V •
' You know — this St. John Eivers.'
' He is not my husband, nor ever will be. He does not
love me : I do not love him. He loves (as he can love, and
that is not as you love) a beautiful young lady called .Rosa-
mond. He wanted to marry me only because he thought I
should make a suitable missionary's wife, which she would
not have done. He is good and great, but severe ; and, for
me, cold as an iceberg. He is not like you, sir : I am not
happy at his side, nor near him, nor with him. He has no
indulgence for me —no fondness. He sees nothing attractive
in me ; not even youth — only a few useful mental points. —
Then I must leave you, sir, to go to him ? '
I shuddered involuntarily, and clung instinctively closer
to my blind but beloved master. He smiled.
1 What, Jane ! Is this true ? Is such really the state of
matters between you and Eivers ? '
1 Absolutely, sir. Oh, you need not be jealous 1 I wanted
to tease you a little to make you less sad : I thought anger
would be better than grief. But if you wish me to love you,
could you but see how much I do love you, you would be
proud and content. All my heart is yours, sir : it belongs to
you ; and with you it would remain were fate to exile the
rest of me from your presence for ever/
Again, as he kissed me, painful thoughts darkened his
aspect.
' My seared vision I my crippled strength ! ' he murmured
regretfully.
I caressed, in order to soothe him. I knew of what he
was thinking, and wanted to speak for him ; but dared not.
As he turned aside his face a minute I saw a tear slide from
under the sealed eyelid, and trickle down the manly cheek.
My heart swelled.
4 1 am no better than the old lightning-struck chestnut-
tree in Thornfield orchard/ he remarked ere long. ' And
what right would that ruin have to bid a budding woodbine
cover its decay with freshness ? '
JANE EYBE 545
' You are no ruin, sir — no lightning-struck tree : you are
green and vigorous. Plants will grow about your roots,
whether you ask them or not, because they take delight in
your bountiful shadow; and as they grow they will lean
towards you, and wind round you, because your strength
offers them so safe a prop/
Again he smiled : I gave him comfort.
1 You speak of friends, Jane ? ' he asked.
' Yes : of friends/ I answered rather hesitatingly : for I
knew I meant more than friends, but could not tell what
other word to employ. He helped me.
1 Ah ! Jane. But I want a wife/
1 Do you, sir ? '
' Yes : is it news to you ? '
' Of course : you said nothing about it before/
1 Is it unwelcome news ? '
1 That depends on circumstances, sir— on your choice/
' Which you shall make for me, Jane. I will abide by
your decision/
1 Choose then, sir — her who loves ymi best.'
' I will at least choose — her I love best. Jane, will you
marry me ? '
1 Yes, sir.
' A poor blind man, whom you will have to lead about
by the hand?'
' Yes, sir/
' A crippled man, twenty years older than you, whom
you will have to wait on ? '
1 Yes, sir/
'Truly, Jane?'
' Most truly, sir/
1 Oh ! my darling ! God bless you and reward you ! '
' Mr. Rochester, if ever I did a good deed in my life — if
ever I thought a good thought — if ever I prayed a sincere and
blameless prayer — if ever I wished a righteous wish, — I am
rewarded now. To be your wife is, for me, to be as happy
as I can be on earth/
546 JANE EYEB
' Because you delight in sacrifice.1
1 Sacrifice 1 What do I sacrifice ? Famine for food,
expectation for content. To be privileged to put my arms
round what I value — to press my lips to what I love — to
repose on what I trust: is that to make a sacrifice? If
so, then certainly I delight in sacrifice/
1 And to bear with my infirmities, Jane : to overlook my
deficiencies/
1 Which are none, sir, to me. I love you better now,
when I can really be useful to you, than I did in your state
of proud independence, when you disdained every part but
that of the giver and protector/
' Hitherto I have hated to be helped — to be led : hence-
foith, I feel, I shall hate it no more. I did not like to put
my hand into a hireling's, but it is pleasant to feel it circled
by Jane's little fingers. I preferred utter loneliness to the
constant attendance of servants; but Jane's soft ministry
will be a perpetual joy. Jane suits me : do I suit her ? '
1 To the finest fibre of my nature, sir/
1 The case being so, we have nothing in the woild to
wait for : we must be married instantly/
He looked and spoke with eagerness : his old impetuosity
was rising.
' We must become one flesh without any delay, Jane :
there is but the licence to get — then we marry/
' Mr. Eochester, I have just discovered the sun is far
declined from its meridian, and Pilot is actually gone home
to his dinner. Let me look at your watch/
'Fasten it into your girdle, Janet, and keep it hence-
forward : I have no use for it/
' It is nearly four o'clock in the afternoon, sir. Don't you
feel hungry ? '
1 The third day from this must be our wedding-day, Jane.
Never mind fine clothes and jewels now: all that is not
worth a fillip/
'The sun has dried up all the rain-drops, sir. The
breeze is still : it is quite hot/
JANE EYRE 547
* Do you know, Jane, I have your little pearl necklace at
this moment fastened round my bronze scrag under my
cravat ? I have worn it since the day I lost my only treasure :
as a memento of her/
* We will go home through the wood : that will be the
shadiest way.'
He pursued his own thoughts without heeding me.
' Jane ! you think mo, I daresay, an irreligious dog : but
my heart swells with gratitude to the beneficent God of this
earth just now. He sees not as man sees, but far clearer :
judges not as man judges, but far more wisely. I did wrong :
I would have sullied my innocent flower — breathed guilt on
its purity : the Omnipotent snatched it from me. I, in my
stiff-necked rebellion, almost cursed the dispensation : instead
of bending to the decree, I defied it. Divine justice pursued
its course ; disasters came thick on me : I was forced to
pass through the valley of the shadow of death. His
chastisements are mighty ; and one smote me which has
humbled me for ever. You know I was proud of my
strength ; but what is it now, when I must give it over *o
foreign guidance, as a child does its weakness ? Of late,
Jane — only— only of late — I began to see and acknowledge
the hand of God in my doom. I began to experience remorse,
repentance; the wish for reconcilement to my Maker. I
began sometimes to pray : very brief prayers they were, but-
very sincere.
1 Some days since : nay, I can number them — four ; it
was last Monday night, a singular mood came over me : one
in which grief replaced frenzy — sorrow, sullenness. I had
long had the impression that since I could nowhere find
you, you must be dead. Late that night — perhaps it might
be between eleven and twelve o'clock — ere I retired to my
dreary rest, I supplicated God that, if it seemed good to
Him, I might soon be taken from this life, and admitted
to that world to come, where there was still hope of rejoining
Jane.
'I was in my own room, and sitting by the window,
548 JANE EYES
which was open : it soothed me to feel the balmy night-air :
though I could see no stars and only by a vague, luminou^
haze, knew the presence of a moon. I longed for thee,
Janet ! Oh, I longed for thee both with soul and flesh I I
asked of God, at once in anguish and humility, if I had not
been long enough desolate, afflicted, tormented ; and might
not soon taste bliss and peace once more. That I merited
all I endured I acknowledged — that I could scarcely endure
more I pleaded ; and the Alpha and Omega of my heart's
wishes broke involuntarily from my lips in the words —
" Jane ! Jane ! Jane 1"'
' Did you speak these words aloud ? '
' I did, Jane. If any listener had heard me, he would
have thought me mad : I pronounced them with such frantic
energy.1
1 And it was last Monday night : somewhere near mid-
night?'
1 Yes ; but the time is of no consequence : what followed
is the strange point. You will think me superstitious,— some
superstition I have in my blood, and always had : neverthe-
less, this is true— true at least it is that I heard what I now
relate.
' As I exclaimed " Jane 1 Jane ! Jane I " a voice — I cannot
tell whence the voice came, but I know whose voice it was —
replied, " I am coming : wait for me ; " and a moment after
went whispering on the wind the words—" Where are
you?"
1 I'll tell you, if I can, the idea, the picture these words
opened to my mind : yet it is difficult to express what I want
to express. Ferndean is buried, as you see, in a heavy wood,
where sound falls dull, and dies unreverberating. " Where
are you?" seemed spoken amongst mountains ; for I heard
a hill-sent echo repeat the words. Cooler and fresher at the
moment the gale seemed to visit my brow : I could have
deemed that in some wild, lone scene, I and Jane were
meeting. In spirit, I believe, we must have met. You no
doubt were, at that hour, in unconscious sleep, Jane:
JANE EYEE 549
perhaps your soul wandered from its cell to comfort mine ;
tor those were your accents — as certain as I live — they were
yours ! '
Eeader, it was on Monday night — near midnight — that I
too had received the mysterious summons : those were the
very words by which I replied to it. I listened to Mr.
Bochester's narrative; but made no disclosure in return.
The coincidence struck me as too awful and inexplicable to
be communicated or discussed. If I told anything, my tale
would be such as must necessarily make a profound im-
pression on the mind of my hearer : and that mind, yet from
its sufferings too prone to gloom, needed not the deeper shade
of the supernatural. I kept these things then, and pondered
them in my heart.
' You cannot now wonder,' continued my master, ' that
when you rose upon me so unexpectedly last night I had
difficulty in believing you any other than a mere voice and
vision : something that would melt to silence and annihila-
tion, as the midnight whisper and mountain echo had
melted before. Now, I thank God 1 I know it to be other-
wise. Yes, I thank God 1 '
He put me off his knee, rose, and reverently lifting his
hat from his brow, and bending his sightless eyes to the earth,
he stood in mute devotion. Only the last words of the
worship were audible.
1 1 thank my Maker that in the midst of judgment He has
remembered mercy. I humbly entreat my Eedeeiner to give
me strength to lead henceforth a purer life than I have done
hitherto ! '
Then he stretched his hand out to be led. I took that
dear hand, held it a moment to my lips, then let it pass round
my shoulder : being so much lower of stature than he, I
served both for his prop and guide. We entered the woo&,
and wended homeward.
550 JANE EYEE
CHAPTEK XXXVIII
CONCLUSION
EEADEK, I married him. A quiet wedding we had : he and
I, the parson and clerk, were alone present. When we got
back from church, I went into the kitchen of the manor-house,
where Mary was cooking the dinner, and John cleaning the
knives, and I said : ' Mary, I have been married to Mr.
Eochester this morning/ The housekeeper and her husband
were both of that decent phlegmatic order of people to whom
one may at any time safely communicate a remarkable piece
of news without incurring the danger of having one's ears
pierced by some shrill ejaculation, and subsequently stunned
by a torrent of wordy wonderment. Mary did look up, and
she did stare at me : the ladle with which she was basting
a pair of chickens roasting at the fire did for some three
minutes hang suspended in air ; and for the same space of
time John's knives also had rest from the polishing process :
but Mary, bending again over the roast, said only : ' Have
you, Miss ? Well, for sure ! '
A short time after she pursued : ' I seed you go out with
the master, but I didn't know you were gone to church to
be wed ; ' and she basted away. John, when I turned to
him, was grinning from ear to ear.
' I telled Mary how it would be/ he said : ' I knew what
Mr. Edward ' (John was an old servant, and had known his
master when he was the cadet of the house, therefore he often
gave him his Christian name) — ' I knew what Mr. Edward
would do ; and I was certain he would not wait long neither :
JANE BYEE 551
and he's done right, for aught I know. I wish you joy,
Miss 1 ' and he politely pulled his forelock.
1 Thank you, John. Mr. Eochester told me to give you
and Mary this/ I put into his hand a five-pound note.
Without waiting to hear more, I left the kitchen. In passing
the door of that sanctum some time after I caught the
words : ' She'll happen do better for him nor ony o' t' grand
ladies/ And again, ' If she bcn't one o' th' handsomest,
she's noan fatil and varry good-natured ; and i1 his een she's
fair beautiful, onybody may see that/
I wrote to Moor House and to Cambridge immediately
to say what I had done : fully explaining also why I had
thus acted. Diana and Mary approved the step unreservedly.
Diana announced that she would just give me time to get
over the honeymoon, and then she would come and see me.
' She had better not wait till then, Jane/ said Mr.
Eochester, when I read her letter to him ; ' if she does, she
will be too late, for our honeymoon will shine our life-long :
its beams will only fade over your grave or mine/
How St. John received the news I don't know ; he nevef
answered the letter in which I communicated it : yet six
months after he wrote to me ; without, however, mentioning
Mr. Eochester's name, or alluding to my marriage. His
letter was then calm : and though very serious, kind. He
has maintained a regular, though not frequent correspond enca
ever since : he hopes I am happy, and trusts I am not oi
those who live without God in the world, and only mind
earthly things.
You have not quite forgotten little Ad6le, have you,
reader ? I had not ; I soon asked and obtained leave of
Mr. Eochester to go and see her at the school where he had
placed her. Her frantic joy at beholding me again moved
me much. She looked pale and thin : she said she was not
happy. I found the rules of the establishment were too
strict, its course of study too severe, for a child of her age :
I took her home with me. I meant to become her governess
once more ; but I soon found this impracticable ; my time
552 JANE EYRE
and cares were now required by another — my husband needed
them all. So I sought out a school conducted on a more
'ndulgent system; and near enough to permit of my visiting
her often, and bringing her home sometimes. I took care
sho should never want for anything that could contribute
to her comfort: she soon settled in her new abode,
became very happy there, and made fair progress in her
studies. As she grew up a sound English education cor-
rected in a great measure her French defects ; and when
she left school I found in her a pleasing and obliging
companion : docile, good-tempered, and well-principled.
By her grateful attention to me and mine she has long
since well repaid any little kindness I ever had in my power
to offer her.
My tale draws to its close : one word respecting my
experience of married life, and one brief glance at the
fortunes of those whose names have most frequently
recurred in this narrative, and I have done.
I have now been married ten years. I know what it is
to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I
hold myself supremely blest — blest beyond what language
can express ; because I am my husband's life as fully as he
is mine. No woman was ever nearer to her mate than I
am ; ever more absolutely bone of his bone and flesh of his
flesh.
I know no weariness of my Edward's society : he knows
none of mine, any more than we each do of the pulsation of
the heart that beats in our separate bosoms ; consequently,
we are ever together. To be together is for us to be at once
as free as in solitude, as gay as in company. We talk, I
believe, all day long : to talk to each other is but a more
animated and an audible thinking. All my confidence is
bestowed on him, all his confidence is devoted to me ; we
are precisely suited in character — perfect concord is the
result.
Mr. Eochester continued blind the first two years of our
union : perhaps it was that circumstance that drew us so
JANE BYEB 553
very near — that knit us so very close I for I was then his vision,
as I am still his right hand. Literally, I was (what he often
called me) the apple of his eye. He saw nature — he saw
books through me ; and never did I weary of gazing for his
behalf, and of putting into words the effect of field, tree,
town, river, cloud, sunbeam — of the landscape before us ; of
the weather round us— and impressing by sound on his ear
what light could no longer stamp on his eye. Never did I
weary of reading to him : never did I weary of conducting
him where he wished to go : of doing for him what he wished
to be done. And there was a pleasure in my services, most
full, most exquisite, even though sad — because he claimed
these services without painful shame or damping humilia-
tion. He loved me so truly that he knew no reluctance in
profiting by my attendance : he felt I loved him so fondly
that to yield that attendance was to indulge my sweetest
wishes.
One morning at the end of the two years, as I was writing
a letter to his dictation, he came and bent over me, and
said — 'Jane, have you a glittering ornament round your
neck?'
I had a gold watch-chain : I answered, ' Yes.'
' And have you a pale blue dress on ? '
I had. He informed me then that for some time he
had fancied the obscurity clouding one eye was becoming
less dense ; and that now he was sure of it.
He and I went up to London. He had the advice of an
eminent oculist; and he eventually recovered the sight of
that one eye. He cannot now see very distinctly : he cannot
read or write much ; but he can find his way without being
led by the hand : the sky is no longer a blank to him — the
earth no longer a void. When his firstborn was put into
his arms, he could see that the boy had inherited his own
eyes, as they once were — large, brilliant, and black. On that
occasion he again, with a full heart, acknowledged that God
had tempered judgment with mercy.
My Edward and I, then, are happy : and the more so
554 JANE BYEB
because those we most love are happy likewise. Diana and
Mary Elvers are both married : alternately, once every year,
they come to see us, and we go to see them. Diana's
husband is a captain in the navy; a gallant officer and a
good man. Mary's is a clergyman : a college friend of her
brother's ; and, from his attainments and principles, worthy
of the connection. Both Captain Fitzjames and Mr.
Wharton love their wives, and are loved by them.
As to St. John Bivers, he left England-: he went to
India. He entered on the path he had marked for himself ;
he pursues it still. A more resolute, indefatigable pioneer
never wrought amidst rocks and dangers. Firm, faithful,
and devoted ; full of energy, and zeal, and truth, he labours
for his race : he clears their painful way to improvement :
he hews down like a giant the prejudices of creed and caste
that encumber it. He may be stern ; he may be exacting :
he may be ambitious yet; but his is the sternness of the
warrior Great heart, who guards his pilgrim convoy from the
onslaught of Apollyon. His is the exaction of the apostle,
who speaks but for Christ when he says — ' Whosoever will
come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross
and follow Me.1 His is the ambition of the high master-
spirit, which aims to nil a place in the first rank of those
who are redeemed from the earth — who stand without fault
before the throne of God; who share the last mighty
victories of the Lamb ; who are called, and chosen, and
faithful.
St. John is unmarried : he never will marry now.
Himself has hitherto sufficed to the toil ; and the toil draws
near its close : his glorious sun hastens to its setting. The
last letter I received from him drew from my eyes human
tears, and yet filled my heart with Divine joy : he anticipated
his sure reward, his incorruptible crown. I know that a
stranger's hand will write to me next, to say that the good
and faithful servant has been called at length into the joy of
his Lord. And why weep for this ? jSo tear of death will
darken St. John's last hour : his mind will be unclouded ;
JANE EYEE 555
his heart will be undaunted; his hope will be sure; his
faith steadfast. His own words are a pledge of this : — * My
Master/ he says, ' has forewarned me. Daily he announces
more distinctly, — " Surely I come quickly ! " and hourly I
more eagerly respond, — " Amen ; even so come, Lord
Jesus ! " '
THE