John Ploughman's pictures; or, More of his plain talk for plain people

-

THE LIBRARY

OF

THE UNIVERSITY
OF CALIFORNIA

GIFT OF

R. Lee Chamberlain

9,

#

£-1.

N M'H

^ ^> li^i

JOHN

PLOUGHMAN'S
PICTURES

CHARLES H. SPURGEON.

CHARLES SPURGF.ON

JOHN

PLOUGHMAN'S
PICTURES

CHARLES

H.
SPURGCON

Copyrighted, 1896, by HENRY ALTKMUS.

LOAN STACK

GIFT

HHNRY ALTBMUS, MANUFACTURER,

PHli.AUEi.PHlA.

PREFACE.

JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK" has
not only obtained an immense circu-
lation, but it has exercised an influence
for good. Although its tone is rather moral
than religious, it has led many to take the
first steps by which men climb to better
things, and this fact has moved me to at-
tempt a second book of the same character.
I have continued to use the simplest form
of our mother tongue, so that if any read-
ers must need have refined language they
had better leave these pages before they are
quite disgusted. To smite evil — and espe-
cially the monster evil of drink — has been
my earnest endeavor, and assuredly there
is need. It may be that the vice of drunk-
enness is not more common than it used to
be ; but it is sufficiently rampant to cause
sorrow in every Christian bosom, and to
lead all lovers of their race to lift up their
voices against it. I hope that the plain
speech of JOHN PLOUGHMAN will help in
that direction.

It is quite out of the question for the
compiler of such proverbial talk as this to
acknowledge the sources from which the

(3)

f. 597

4 PREFACE.

quaint sayings have been derived, for they
are too numerous. I have gathered ex-
pressions and verses here, there, and every-
where ; and perhaps the most simple way is
to deny all claim to originality, and confess
myself a gatherer of other men's stuffs. It
is not quite so, but that is near enough. I
have, however, borrowed many rhymes
from " Thomas Tusser's Points of Good
Husbandry," a book which is out of date,
and forgotten, and never likely to be re-
printed.

I have somewhat indulged the mirthful
vein, but ever with so serious a purpose
that I ask no forgiveness. Those who see
a virtue in dulness have full permission to
condemn, for a sufficient number will
approve.

May the kindness shown to the formei
volume be extended to this also.

C H, SPURGEON.

CONTENTS.

PACK.

If the cap fits, wear it 7

Burn a candle at both ends, and it will soon be

gone 12

Hunchback sees not his own hump, but he sees his

neighbor's . . . 19

It is hard for an empty sack to stand upright ... 23

He who would please all will lose his donkey . . 32

All are not hunters that blow the horn 38

A handsaw is a good thing, but not to shave with . 43

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face .... 50
He has a hole under his nose, and his money runs

into it . . * . 54

Every man should sweep before his own door . . 63
Scant feeding of man or horse is small profit and

sure loss 67

Never stop the plough to catch a mouse .... 75

A looking-glass is of no use to a blind man ... 79

He has got the fiddle, but not the stick .... 86
Great cry and little wool, as the man said who

clipped the sow 89

You may bend the sapling, but not the tree ... 94
A man may love his house, though he ride not on

the ridge 99

Great drinkers think themselves great men . . . 107

(5)

6 CONTENTS.

PAGE.

Two dogs fight for a bone, and a third runs away

with it 115

He lives under the sign of the cat's foot . . . .118
He would put his finger in the pie, so he burnt his

nail off 125

You can't catch the wind in a net 130

Beware of the dog 136

Like cat like kit 147

A horse which carries a halter is soon caught . . . 153

An old fox is shy of a trap 157

A black hen lays a white egg 161

He looks one way and pulls the other 164

Stick to it and do it 167

Don't put the cart before the horse 178

A leaking tap is a great waster 184

Fools set stools for wise men to stumble over . . 192
A man in a passion rides a horse that runs away

with him 195

Where the plough does not go, the weeds will grow 199
All is lost that is poured into a cracked dish . . . 203

Grasp all and lose all 207

Scatter and increase 209

Every bird likes its own nest 213

JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

IF THE CAP FITS, WEAR IT.

FRIENDLY READERS,

Last time I made a book I trod on
some people's corns and bunions, and they

(7)

8 JOHN PL O UGHMAN'' S PICTURES.

wrote me angry letters, asking, " Did you
mean me ? " This time, to save them the
expense of a halfpenny card, I will begin my
book by saying —

Whether I please or whether I tease,

I'll give you my honest mind ;
If the cap should fit, pray wear it a bit,

If not, you can leave it behind.

No offence is meant; but if anything in
these pages should come home to a man,
let him not send it next door, but get a
coop for his own chickens. What is the
use of reading or hearing for other people?
We do not eat and drink for them : why
should we lend them our ears and not our
mouths ? Please then, good friend, if you
find a hoe on these premises, weed your
own garden with it.

I was speaking with Will Shepherd the
other day about our master's old donkey,
and I said, " He is so old and stubborn, he
really is not worth his keep." " No," said
Will, " and worse still, he is so vicious,
that I feel sure he'll do somebody a mis-
chief one of these days." You know they
say that walls have ears ; we were talking
rather loud, but we did not know that

IF THE CAP FITS, WEAR IT. 9

there were ears to haystacks. We stared,
I tell you, when we saw Joe Scroggs come
from behind the stack, looking as red as a
turkey-cock, and raving like mad. He
burst out swearing at Will and me, like a
cat spitting at a dog. His monkey was up
and no mistake. He'd let us know that he
was as good a man as either of us, or the
two put together, for the matter of that.
Talking about him in that way ; he'd do —
I don't know what. I told old Joe we had
never thought of him, nor said a word about
him, and he might just as well save his
breath to cool his porridge, for nobody
meant him any harm. This only made him
call me a liar, and roar the louder. My
friend, Will, was walking away, holding his
sides, but when he saw that Scroggs was
still in a fume, he laughed outright, and
turned round on him and said, " Why, Joe,
we were talking about master's old donkey,
and not about you ; but, upon my word, I
shall never see that donkey again without
thinking of Joe Scroggs." Joe puffed and
blowed, but perhaps he thought it an awk-
ward job, for he backed out of it, and Will
and I went off to our work in rather a merry

io JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

cue, for old Joe had blundered on the truth
about himself for once in his life.

The aforesaid Will Shepherd has some-
times come down rather heavy upon me in
his remarks, but it has done me good. It
is partly through his home thrusts that I
have come to write this new book, for he
thought I was idle ; perhaps I am, and per-
haps I am not. Will forgets that I have
other fish to fry and tails to butter ; and he
does not recollect that a ploughman's mind
wants to lie fallow a little, and can't give a
crop every year. It is hard to make rope
when your hemp is all used up, or pancakes
without batter, or rook pie without the birds ;
and so I found it hard to write more when I
had said just about all I knew. Giving
much to the poor doth increase a man's
store, but it is not the same with writing ;
at least, I am such a poor scribe that I
don't find it come because I pull. If your
thoughts only flow by drops, you can't pour
them out in bucketfuls.

However, Will has ferreted me out, and
I am obliged to him so far. I told him the
other day, what the winkle said to the pin :
" Thank you for drawing me out, but you

IF THE CAP FITS, WEAR IT. 11

are rather sharp about it." Still, Master
Will is not far from the mark : after three
hundred thousand people had bought my
book it certainly was time to write another :
so, though I am not a hatter, I will again
turn cap-maker, and those who have heads
may try on my wares ; those who have none
won't touch them.

So, friends,
I am,

Yours, rough and ready,

JOHN PLOUGHMAN.

BURN A CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS,
AND IT WILL SOON BE GONE.

WELL may he scratch his head who
burns his candle at both ends ; but,
do what he may, his light will soon begone,
and he will be all in the dark. Young Jack
(12)

NEVER BURN A CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS. 13

Careless squandered his property, and now
he is without a shoe to his foot. His was
a case of " easy come, easy go : soon gotten,
soon spent." He that earns an estate will
keep it better than he that inherits it. As
the Scotchman says, " He that gets gear
before he gets wit is but a short time master
of it," and so it was with Jack. His money
burnt holes in his pocket. He could not
get rid of it fast enough himself, and so he
got a pretty set to help him, which they did
by helping themselves. His fortune went
like a pound of meat in a kennel of hounds.
He was everybody's friend, and now he is
everybody's fool.

He came in to old Alderman Greedy's
money, for he was his nephew ; but, as the
old saying is, the fork followed the rake,
the spender was heir to the hoarder. God
has been very merciful to some of us in
never letting money come rolling in upon
us, for most men are carried off their legs if
they meet with a great wave of fortune.
Many of us would have been bigger sinners
if we had been trusted with larger purses.
Poor Jack had plenty of pence, but little
sense. Money is easier made than made

I4 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

the use of. What is hard to gather is easy to
scatter. The old gentleman had lined his
nest well, but Jack made the feathers fly
like flakes of snow in winter-time. He got
rid of his money by shovelfuls and then by
cartloads. After spending the interest, he
began swallowing the capital, and so killed
the goose that laid the golden eggs. He
squandered his silver and gold, in ways
which must never be told. It would not go
fast enough, and so he bought race-horses to
run away with it. He got into the hands
of blacklegs, and fell into company of
which we shall say but little; only when
such madams smile, men's purses weep :
these are a well without a bottom, and the
more a fool throws in, the more he may.
The greatest beauty often causes the great-
est ruin. Play, women, and wine are enough
to make a prince a pauper.

Always taking out and never putting
back soon empties the biggest sack, and so
Jack found it ; but he took no notice till his
last shilling bade him good-bye, and then
he said he had been robbed ; like silly Tom
who put his finger in the fire and said it was
his bad luck.

NE VER B URN A CANDLE AT BO TH ENDS. 1 5

His money once flashed like dew in the sun ;
When bills became due, of cash he had none.

" Drink and let drink " was his motto ;
every day was a holiday and every holiday
was a feast. The best of wines and the
dearest of dainties suited his tooth, for he
meant to lead a pig's life, which they say is
short and sweet. Truly, he went the whole
hog. The old saying is, " a glutton young,
a beggar old," and he seemed set upon prov-
ing it true. A fat kitchen makes a lean
will ; but he can make his will on his
finger-nail, and leave room for a dozen cod-
icils. In fact, he will never want a will at all,
for he will leave nothing behind him but old
scores. Of all his estate there is not enough
left to bury him with. What he threw away
in his prosperity would have kept a coat on
his back and a dumpling in his pot to his
life's end ; but he never looked beyond his
nose, and could not see to the end of that.
He laughed at prudence, and now prudence
frowns at him. Punishment is lame, but it
comes at last. He pays the cost of his folly
in body and in soul, in purse and in person,
and yet he is still a fool, and would dance to

1 6 JOHN PLOUGHMAN^ S PICTURES.

the same tune again if he had another chance.
His light purse brings him a heavy heart,
but he couldn't have his cake and eat it too.
As he that is drunk at night is dry in the
morning, so he that lavished money when he
had it feels the want of it all the more when it
is gone. His old friends have quite dropped
him ; they have squeezed the orange, and
now they throw away the peel. As well
look for milk from a pigeon as help from a
fellow who loved you for your beer. Pot
friends will let you go to pot, and kick you
when you are down.

Jack has worse wants than the want of
money, for his character is gone, and he is
like a rotten nut, not worth the cracking :
the neighbors say he is a ne'er-do-well, not
worth calling out of a cabbage garden. No-
body will employ him, for he would not
earn his salt, and so he goes from pillar to
post, and has not a place to lay his head in.
A good name is better than a girdle of gold,
and when that is gone, what has a man left ?

What has he left ? Nothing upon earth !
Yet the prodigal son has still a Father in
heaven. Let him arise and go to him,
ragged as he is. He may smell of the

NEVER BURN A CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS. 17

swine-trough, and yet he may run straight
home, and he shall not find the door locked.
The great Father will joyfully meet him, and
kiss him, and cleanse him, and clothe him,
and give him to begin a new and better life.
When a sinner is at his worst he is not too
bad for the Saviour, if he will but turn from
his wickedness and cry unto God for mercy.
It's a long lane that has no turning, but the
best of all turns is to turn unto the Lord
with all your heart. This the great Father
will help the penitent prodigal to do. If the
candle has been burned all away, the Sun in
the heavens is still alight. Look, poor
profligate : look to Jesus, and live. His sal-
vation is without money and without price.
Though you may not have a penny to bless
yourself with, the Lord Jesus will bless you
freely. The depths of your misery are not
so deep as the depth of God's mercy. If
you are faithful and just in confessing the
sins you would have forgiven, God will be
faithful and just in forgiving the sins which
you confess.

But, pray, do not go on another day as
you are, for this very day may be your last.
If you will not heed a plain word from John

18 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

Ploughman, which he means for your good,
yet recollect this old-fashioned rhyme,
which was copied from a grave-stone :

" The loss of gold is great,

The loss of health is more,
But the loss of Christ is such a loss
As no man can restore."

HUNCHBACK SEES NOT HIS OWN

HUMP, BUT HE SEES HIS

NEIGHBOR'S.

HE points at the man in front of him,
but he is a good deal more of a
guy himself. He should not laugh at the

(19)

20 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

crooked until he is straight himself, and
not then. I hate to hear a raven croak at
a crow for being black. A blind man
should not blame his brother for squinting,
and he who has lost his legs should not
sneer at the lame. Yet so it is, the rotten-
est bough cracks first, and he who should
be the last to speak is the first to rail. Be-
spattered hogs bespatter others, and he who
is full of fault finds fault. They are most
apt to speak ill of others who do most ill
themselves.

" We're very keen our neighbor's hump to see,

We're blind to that upon our back alone ;
E'en though the lump far greater be,
It still remains to us unknown."

It does us much hurt to judge our neigh-
bors, because it flatters our conceit, and our
pride grows quite fast enough without feed-
ing. We accuse others to excuse ourselves.
We are such fools as to dream that we are
better because others are worse, and we
talk as if we could get up by pulling others
down. What is the good of spying holes
in people's coats when we can't mend
them? Talk of my debts if you mean to
pay them ; if not, keep your red rag be-

ONE HUNCHBA CK LA UGHS A T A NO THER. 2 1

hind your ivory ridge. A friend's faults
should not be advertised, and even a
stranger's should not be published. He
who brays at an ass is an ass himself,
and he who makes a fool of another is a
fool himself. Don't get into the habit of
laughing at people, for the old saying is,
" Hanging's stretching and mocking's
catching."

Some must have their joke whoever they poke ;
For the sake of fun mischief is done,
And to air their wit full many they hit.

Jesting is too apt to turn into jeering, and
what was meant to tickle makes a wound.
It is a pity when my mirth is another man's
misery. Before a man cracks a joke he
should consider how he would like it him-
self, for many who give rough blows have
very thin skins. Give only what you
would be willing to take : some men
throw salt on others, but they smart if a
pinch of it falls on their own raw places.
When they get a Roland for their Oliver,
or a tit for their tat, they don't like it ; yet
nothing is more just. Biters deserve to be
bitten.

22 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

We may chide a friend, and so prove our
friendship, but it must be done very dain-
tily, or we may lose our friend for our
pains. Before we rebuke another we must
consider, and take heed that we are not guilty
of the same thing, for he who cleanses a
blot with inky fingers makes it worse. To
despise others is a worse fault than any we
are likely to see in them, and to make
merry over their weaknesses shows our
own weakness and our own malice too.
Wit should be a shield for defence, and not
a sword for offence. A mocking word cuts
worse than a scythe, and the wound is
harder to heal. A blow is much sooner
forgotten than a jeer. Mocking is shock-
ing. Our minister says " to laugh at in-
firmity or deformity is an enormity/' He
is a man who ought to know a thing or twoP
and he puts a matter as pat as butter.

" Who ridicules his neighbor's frailty
Scoffs at his own in more or less degree :
Much wiser he who others' lets alone,
And tries his hardest to correct his own."

IT IS HARD FOR AN EMPTY SACK
TO STAND UPRIGHT.

SAM may try a fine while before he will
make one of his empty sacks stand
upright. If he were not half daft he would
have left off that job before he began it,

(23)

24 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

and not have been an Irishman either. He
will come to his wit's end before he sets the
sack on its end. The old proverb, printed
at the top, was made by a man who had
burnt his fingers with debtors, and it just
means that when folks have no money and
are over head and ears in debt, as often as
not they leave off being upright, and tum-
ble over one way or another. He that has
but four and spends five will soon need no
purse, but he will most likely begin to use
his wits to keep himself afloat, and take to
all sorts of dodges to manage it.

Nine times out of ten they begin by mak-
ing promises to pay on a certain day when
it is certain they have nothing to pay with.
They are as bold at fixing the time as if
they had my lord's income : the day comes
round as sure as Christmas, and then they
haven't a penny-piece in the world, and so
they make all sorts of excuses and begin to
promise again. Those who are quick to
promise are generally slow to perform.
They promise mountains and perform mole-
hills. He who gives you fair words and
nothing more feeds you with an empty
spoon, and hungry creditors soon grow

EMPTY SACKS. 25

tired of that game. Promises don't fill the
belly. Promising men are not great favor-
ites if they are not performing men. When
such a fellow is called a liar he thinks he is
hardly done by ; and yet he is so, as sure
as eggs are eggs, and there's no denying it,
as the boy said when the gardener caught
him up the cherry-tree. People don't think
much of a man's piety when his promises
are like pie-crust, made to be broken : they
generally turn crusty themselves and give
him a bit of their mind. Like old Tusser,
who said of such an one :

" His promise to trust to is slippery as ice,
His credit much like to the chance of the dice."

Creditors have better memories than debt-
ors, and when they have been taken in
more than once they think it is time that
the fox went to the furrier, and they had
their share of his skin. Waiting for your
money does not sweeten a man's temper,
and a few lies on the top of it turn the milk
of human kindness into sour stuff. Here is
an old-fashioned saying which a bad payer
may put in his pipe, and smoke or not, as
he likes :

26 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

" He that promiseth till no man will trust him,
He that lieth till no man will believe him,
He that borroweth till no man will lend him,
Let him go where no man knoweth him."

Hungry dogs will eat dirty puddings, and
people who are hard up very often do dirty
actions. Blessed be God, there is some
cloth still made which will not shrink in
the wetting, and some honesty which holds
on under misfortune ; but too often debt is
the worst kind of poverty, because it breeds
deceit. Men do not like to face their cir-
cumstances, and so they turn their backs on
the truth. They try all sorts of schemes to
get out of their difficulties, and like the
Banbury tinker, they make three holes in
the saucepan to mend one. They are like
Pedley, who burnt a penny candle in look-
ing for a farthing. They borrow of Peter
to pay Paul, and then Peter is let in for
it. To avoid a brook they leap into a
river, for they borrow at ruinous interest
to pay off those who squeeze them tight
By ordering goods which they cannot pay
for, and selling them for whatever they can
get, they may put off one evil day, but
they only bring on another. One trick

EMPTY SACKS. 77

needs another trick to back it up, and thus
they go on over shoes and then over boots.
Hoping that something will turn up, they
go on raking for the moon in a ditch, and
all the luck that comes to them is like
Johnny Toy's, who lost a shilling and
found a two-penny loaf. Any short cut
tempts them out of the high road of honesty,
and they find after awhile that they have
gone miles out of their way. At last
people fight shy of them, and say that they
are as honest as a cat when the meat is out
of reach, and they murmur that plain deal-
ing is dead, and died without issue. Who
wonders ? People who are bitten once are
in no hurry to put their fingers into the
same mouth again. You don't trust a
horse's heel after it has kicked you, nor
lean on a staff which has once broken.
Too much cunning overdoes its work, and
in the long run there is no craft which is so
wise as simple honesty.

I would not be hard on a poor fellow,
nor pour water on a drowned mouse : if
through misfortune the man can't pay, why
he can't pay, and let him say so, and do the
honest thing with what little he has, and

28 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

kind hearts will feel for him. A wise man
does at first what a fool does at last. The
worst of it is, that debtors will hold on long
after it is honest to do so, and they try to
persuade themselves that their ship will
come home, or their cats will grow into
cows. It is hard to sail over the sea in an
egg-shell, and it is not much easier to pay
your way when your capital is all gone.
Out of nothing comes nothing, and you
may turn your nothing over a long time be-
fore it will grow into a ten-pound note. The
way to Babylon will never bring you to
Jerusalem, and borrowing, and diving deep-
er into debt, will never get a man out of
difficulties.

The world is a ladder for some to go up
and some to go down, but there is no need
to lose your character because you lose
your money. Some people jump out of the
frying-pan into the fire; for fear of being
paupers they become rogues. You find
them slippery customers ; you can't bind
them to anything : you think you have got
them, but you can't hold them any longer
than you can keep a cat in a wheelbarrow.
The can jump over nine hedges, and nine

EMPTY SACKS. 29

more after that. They always deceive you,
and then plead the badness of the times, or
the sickness of their family. You cannot help
them, for there's no telling where they are.
It is always best to let them come to the
end of their tether, for when they are
cleaned out of their old rubbish they may
perhaps begin in a better fashion. You can-
not get out of a sack what is not in it, and
when a man's purse is as bare as the back
of your hand, the longer you patch him up
the barer he will become, like Bill Bones,
who cut up his coat to patch his waistcoat,
and then used his trousers to mend his coat,
and at last had to lie in bed for want of a
rag to cover him.

Let the poor, unfortunate tradesman hold
to his honesty as he would to his life. The
straight road is the shortest cut. Better
break stones on the road than break the law
of God. Faith in God should save a Christ-
ian man from anything like a dirty action ;
let him not even think of playing a trick,
for you cannot touch pitch without being
defiled therewith. Christ and a crust is
riches, but a broken character is the worst
of bankruptcy. All is not lost while up-

30 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

Tightness remains ; but still it is hard to
make an empty sack stand upright.

There are other ways of using the old
saying. It is hard for a hypocrite to keep
up his profession. Empty sacks can't stand
upright in a church any better than in a
granary. Prating does not make saints,
or there would be plenty of them. Some
talkatives have not religion enough to
flavor soup for a sick grasshopper, and
they have to be mighty cunning to keep
the game going. Long prayers and loud
professions only deceive the simple, and
those who see further than the surface soon
spy out the wolf under the sheepskin.

All hope of salvation by our own good
works is a foolish attempt to make an empty
sack stand upright. We are undeserving,
ill-deserving, hell-deserving sinners at the
best. The law of God must be kept
without a single failure if we hope to be
accepted by it ; but there is not one among
us who has lived a day without sin. No,
we are a lot of empty sacks, and unless the
merits of Christ are put into us to fill us up,
we cannot stand in the sight of God. The

EMPTY SACKS. 31

law condemns us already, and to hope for
salvation by it is to run to the gallows to
prolong our lives. There is a full Christ
for empty sinners, but those who hope to
fill themselves will find their hopes fail them.

HE WHO WOULD PLEASE ALL

WILL LOSE HIS DONKEY AND BE

LAUGHED AT FOR HIS PAINS.

HERE'S a queer picture, and this is the
story which goes with it ; you shall
have it just as I found it in an old book.
(32)

THE OLD MAN AND HIS DONKEY. 33

" An old man and his young son were driv-
ing an ass before them to the next market
to sell. ' Why have you no more wit/ says
one to the man upon the way, ' than you
and your son to trudge it a-foot, and let the
ass go light ? ' So the old man set his son
upon the ass, and footed it himself. * Why,
sirrah/ says another after this, to the boy,
' ye lazy rogue, you, must you ride, and let
your old father go a-foot ? ' The old man
upon this took down his son, and got up him-
self. * Do you see/ says a third, ' how the
lazy old knave rides himself, and the poor
young fellow has much ado to creep after
him ? ' The father, upon this, took up his
son behind him. The next they met asked
the old man whether the ass were his own
or no ? He said, ' Yes/ ' Troth, there's
little sign on't/ says the other, 'by your
loading him thus/ ' Well/ says the old man
to himself, ' and what am I to do now ? for
I'm laughed at, if either the ass be empty,
or if one of us rides, or both;' and so he
came to the conclusion to bind the ass's
legs together with a cord, and they tried to
carry him to market with a pole upon their
shoulders, betwixt them. This was sport to
3

34 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

everybody that saw it, inasmuch that the
old man in great wrath threw down the ass
into a river, and so went his way home
again. The good man, in fine, was willing
to please everybody, but had the ill fortune
to please nobody, and lost his ass into the
bargain."

He who will not go to bed till he pleases
everbody will have to sit up a great many
nights. Many men, many minds ; many
women, many whims ; and so if we please
one we are sure to set another grumbling.
We had better wait till they are all of one
mind before we mind them, or we shall be
like the man who hunted many hares at once
and caught none. Besides, the fancies of men
alter, and folly is never long pleased with
the same thing, but changes its palate, and
grows sick of what it doted on. Will Shep-
herd says he once tried to serve two masters,
but, says he, " I soon had enough of it, and
I declared that, if I was pardoned this once,
the next time they caught me at it they
might pickle me in salt and souse me in
boiling vinegar."

" He who would general favor win
And not himself offend,

THE OLD MAN AND HIS DONKEY. $5

To-day the task he may begin,
He'll never, never end."

If we dance to every fiddle we shall soon be
lame in both legs. Good nature may be a
great misfortune if we do not mix prudence
with it.

He that all men would please
Shall never find ease.

It is right to be obliging, but we are not
obliged to be every man's lackey. Put
your hand quickly to your hat, for that is
courtesy ; but don't bow your head at every
man's bidding, for that is slavery. He who
hopes to please all should first fit the moon
with a suit of clothes, or fill a bottomless
barrel with buckets with their hoops off.
To live upon the praises of others is to feed
on the air ; for what is praise but the breath
of men's nostrils? That's poor stuff to
make a dinner of. To set traps for claps,
and to faint if you don't get them, is a child-
ish thing ; and to change your coat to please
new company is as mean as dirt. Change
for the better as often as you like, but mind
it is better before you change. Tom of

36 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

Bedlam never did a madder thing than he
who tried to please a thousand masters at
once : one is quite enough. If a man pleases
God he may let the world wag its own way,
and frown or flatter, as the maggot bites.
What is there, after all, to frighten a man in
a fool's grin, or in the frown of a poor
mortal like yourself? If it mattered at all
what the world says of us, it would be some
comfort that when a good man is buried
people say, " He was not a bad fellow after
all." When the cow is dead we hear how
much milk she gave. When the man's gone
to heaven folks know their loss, and wonder
how it was they did not treat him better.

The way of pleasing men is hard, but
blessed are they who please God. He is
not a free man who is afraid to think for him-
self, for if his thoughts are in bonds the
man is not free. A man of God is a manly
man. A true man does what he thinks to
be right, whether the pigs grunt or the dogs
howl. Are you afraid to follow out your
conscience because Tom, Jack, and Harry,
or Mary Ann and Betsy, would laugh at
you ? Then you are not the seventy-fifth
cousin to John Ploughman, who goes on

THE OLD MAN AND HIS DONKEY. 37

his way whistling merrily, though many
find fault with himself, and his plough, and
his horses, and his harness, and his boots,
and his coat, and his waistcoat, and his hat,
and his head, and every hair on it. John
says it amuses them and doesn't hurt him ;
but depend on it you will never catch John
or his boys carrying the donkey.

ALL ARE NOT HUNTERS THAT
BLOW THE HORN.

HE does not look much like a hunter !
Nimrod would never own him.
But how he blows! Goodness, gracious,
what a row! as the linnet said when he
(38)

A HORN-BL O WER, BUT NOT A HUNTER. 39

heard a donkey singing his evening hymn.
There's more goes to ploughing than know-
ing how to whistle, and hunting is not all
tally-ho and horn-blowing. Appearances
are deceitful. Outward show is not every-
thing. All are not butchers that carry a
steel, and all are not bishops that wear
aprons. You must not buy goods by the
label; for I have heard that the finer the
trade-mark the worse the article. Never
have we seen more horn or less hunter than
in our picture. Blow away, my hearty, till
your toes look out of your boots ; there's
no fear of your killing either fox or stag !

Now, the more people blow, the more
they may, but he is a fool who believes all
they say. As a rule, the smallest boy car-
ries the biggest fiddle, and he who makes
most boast has least roast. He who has
least wisdom has most vanity. John Lack-
land is wonderfully fond of being called
Esquire, and there's none so pleased at be-
ing dubbed a doctor as the man who least
deserves it. Many a D.D. is fiddle-dee-dee.
I have heard say, " Always talk big and
somebody will think you great," but my
old friend Will Shepherd says, " Save your

40 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

wind for running up a hill, and don't give
us big words off a weak stomach. Look,"
said he once to me, "There's Solomon
Braggs holding up his head like a hen
drinking water, but there's nothing in it.
With him it's much din and little done."

" Of all speculations the market holds forth,
The best that I know for a lover of pelf,
Were to buy up this Braggs at the price he is worth,
And sell him — at that which he sets on himself."

Before honor is humility, but a prating
fool shall fall, and when he falls very few
will be in a hurry to pick him up.

A long tongue generally goes with a
short hand. We are most of us better at
saying than doing. We can all tattle away
from the battle, but many fly when the fight
is nigh. Some are all sound and ^ry, and
when they have bragged their b*ag all is
over, and amen. The fat Dutchman was
the wisest pilot in Flushing, only he never
went to sea; and the Irishman was the
finest rider in Connaught, only he would
never trust himself on a horse, because, as
he said, " he generally fell off before he got
on." A bachelor's wife is always well
managed, and old maids always bring up

A HORN-BLOWER, BUT NO TA HUNTER. 41

their children in prime style. We think we
can do what we are not called to, and if
by chance the thing falls to our lot we do
worse than those we blamed. Hence it is
wise to be slow in foretelling what we will
do, for —

" Thus saith the proverb of the wise,
« Who boasteth least tells fewest lies.' "

There is another old rhyme which is as full
of reason as a pod is full of peas, —

" Little money is soonest spended ;
Fewest words are soonest mended."

Of course, every potter praises his own
pot, and we can all toot a little on our own
trumpet, but some blow as if nobody ever
had a horn but themselves. "After me the
flood," says the mighty big man, and
whether it be so or no we have floods
enough while he lives. I mean floods of
words, words, words, enough to drown all
your senses. O that the man had a mouth
big enough to say all he has to say at one
go, and have done with it ; but then one
had need get to the other end of the world
till his talk had run itself dry. O for a
quiet hay-loft, or a saw-pit, or a dungeon,

42 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

where the sound of the jawbone would no
more be heard. They say a brain is worth
little if you have not a tongue ; but what is
a tongue worth without a brain ? Bellow-
ing is all very well, but the cow for me is
that which fills the pail. A braying ass
eats little hay, and that's a saving in fodder ;
but a barking dog catches no game, and
that's a loss to the owner. Noise is no
profit, and talk hinders work.

When a man's song is in his praise, let
the hymn be short metre, and let the tune
be in the minor key. He who talks for ever
about himself has a foolish subject, and is
likely to worry and weary all around him.
Good wine needs no bush, and a man who
can do well seldom boasts about it. The
emptiest tub makes the loudest noise.
Those who give themselves out to be fine
shots kill very few birds, and many a crack
ploughman does a shorter day's work than
plain John, though he is nothing off the
common ; and so on the whole it is pretty
clear that the best huntsmen are not those
who are for everlastingly blowing the horn.

A HANDSAW IS A GOOD THING,
BUT NOT TO SHAVE WITH.

OUR friend will cut more than he will
eat, and shave off something more
than hair, and then he will blame the saw.
His brains don't lie in his beard, nor yet in

(43)

44 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

the skull above it, or he would see that his
saw will only make sores. There's sense
in choosing your tools, for a pig's tail will
never make a good arrow, nor will his ear
make a silk purse. You can't catch rabbits
with drums, nor pigeons with plums. A
good thing is not good out of its place. It
is much the same with lads and girls ; you
can't put all boys to one trade, nor send
all girls to the same service. One chap will
make a London clerk, and another will do
better to plough, and sow, and reap, and
mow, and be a farmer's boy. It's no use
forcing them ; a snail will never run a race,
nor a mouse drive a wagon.

" Send a boy to the well against his will,
The pitcher will break and the water spill.'*

With unwilling hounds it is hard to hunt
hares. To go against nature and inclina-
tion is to row against wind and tide. They
say you may praise a fool till you make him
useful : I don't know so much about that,
but I do know that if I get a bad knife
I generally cut my finger, and a blunt axe
is more trouble than profit. No, let me
shave with a razor if I shave at all, and

DON'T SHAVE WITH A HANDSAW. 45

do my work with the best tools I can
get.

Never set a man to work he is not fit for,
for he will never do it well. They say that
if pigs fly they always go with their tails
forward, and awkward workmen are much
the same. Nobody expects cows to catch
crows, or hens to wear hats. There's reason
in roasting eggs, and there should be reason
in choosing servants. Don't put a round
peg into a square hole, nor wind up your
watch with a cork-screw, nor set a tender-
hearted man to whip wife-beaters, nor a
bear to be a relieving-officer, nor a publican
to judge of the licensing laws. Get the
right man in the right place, and then all
goes as smooth as skates on ice ; but the
wrong man puts all awry, as the sow did
when she folded the linen.

It is a temptation to many to trust them
with money ; don't put them to take care
of it if you ever wish to see it again. Never
set a cat to watch cream, nor a pig to gather
peaches, for if the cream and the peaches
go a-missing you will have yourself to
thank for it. It is a sin to put people
where they are likely to sin. If you be-

46 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

lieve the old saying, that when you set a
beggar on horseback he will ride to the
devil, don't let him have a horse of yours.

If you want a thing well done do it your-
self, and pick your tools. It is true that
a man must row with such oars as he
has, but he should not use the boat-hook
for a paddle. Take not the tongs to poke
the fire, nor the poker to put on the coals.
A newspaper on Sunday is as much out
of place as a warming-pan on the first
of August, or a fan on a snowy day : the
Bible suits the Sabbath a deal better.

He who tries to make money by betting
uses a wrong tool, and is sure to cut his
fingers. As well hope to grow golden pip-
pins on the bottom of the sea as to make
gain among gamblers if you are an hon-
est man. Hard work and thrifty habits
are the right razor, gambling is a hand-
saw.

Some things want doing gently, and tell-
ing a man of his faults is one of them. You
would not fetch a hatchet to break open an
egg» nor kill a fly on your boy's fore-
head with a sledge-hammer, and so you
must not try to mend your neighbor's

DON'T SHAVE WITH A HANDSAW. 47

little fault by blowing him up sky-high.
Never fire off a musket to kill a midge, and
don't raise a hue and cry about the half of
nothing.

Do not throw away a saw because it is
not a razor, for it will serve your turn
another day, and cut your ham-bone if it
won't shave off your stubble. A whet-
stone, though it cannot cut, may sharpen a
knife that will. A match gives little light
itself, but it may light a candle to brighten
up the room. Use each thing and each
man according to common sense and you
will be uncommonly sensible. You don't
milk horses nor ride cows, and by the
same rule you must make of every man
what he is meant for, and the farm will be
as right as a trivet.

Everything has its use, but no one thing
is good for all purposes. The baby said,
"The cat crew and the cock rocked the
cradle," but old folks knew better: the
cat is the best at mousing and the cock at
rousing. That's for that, as salt is for her-
rings, and sugar for gooseberries, and Nan
for Nicholas. Don't choose your tools by
their looks, for that's best which does best

48 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

A silver trowel lays very few bricks. You
cannot curry a horse with a tortoise-shell
comb, or fell oaks with a pen-knife, or
open oysters with a gold tooth -pick. Fine
is not so good as fit when work is to be
done. A good workman will get on pretty
well with a poor tool, and a brave soldier
never lacks a weapon: still, the best is
good enough for me, and John Plough-
man does not care to use a clumsy tool
because it looks pretty. Better ride on an
ass that carries you than on a steed which
throws you; it is far better to work with
an old-fashioned spade which suits your
hand than with a new-fangled invention you
don't understand.

In trying to do good to your fellow-men
the gospel is out of sight the best instru-
ment to work with. The new doctrine which
they call "modern thought" is nothing bet-
ter than a handsaw, and it won't work a bit.
This fine new nothing of a gospel would not
save a mouse, nor move the soul of a tom-
tit ; but the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ
is suited to man's need, and by God's grace
does its work famously. Let every preacher
and teacher keep to it, for they will never

DON'T SHAVE WITH A HANDSAW. 49

find a better. Try to win men with its lov-
ing words and precious promises, and there's
no fear of labor in vain. Some praise the
balm of Gilead, or man's morality; many
try the Roman salve, or the oil of Baby-
lon ; and others use a cunning ointment
mixed by learned philosophers ; but for his
own soul's wounds, and for the hurts of
others, John Ploughman knows but one
cure, and that is given gratis by the good
Physician to all who ask for it. A humble
faith in Christ Jesus will soon bring you
this sovereign remedy. Use no other, for
no other is of use.

DONT CUT OFF YOUR NOSE TO
SPITE YOUR FACE.

ANGER is a short madness. The less
we do when we go mad the better for
everybody, and the less we go mad the
better for ourselves. He is far gone who
(50)

DON'T CUT OFF YOUR NOSE. 51

hurts himself to wreak his vengeance on
others. The old saying is " Don't cut off
your head because it aches," and another
says " Set not your house on fire to spite
the moon." If things go awry, it is a poor
way of mending to make them worse, as the
man did who took to drinking because he
could not marry the girl he liked. He
must be a fool who cuts off his nose to spite
his face, and yet this is what Dick did
when he had vexed his old master, and be-
cause he was chid must needs give up his
place, throw himself out of work, and
starve his wife and family. Jane had been
idle, and she knew it, but sooner than let
her mistress speak to her, she gave warn-
ing, and lost as good a service as a maid
could wish for. Old Griggs was wrong,
and could not deny it, and yet because the
parson's sermon fitted him rather close, he
took the sulks and vowed he would never
hear the good man again. It was his own
loss, but he wouldn't listen to reason, but
was as wilful as a pig.

Do nothing when you are out of temper,
and then you will have less to undo. Let
a hasty man's passion be a warning to you ;

52 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

if he scalds you, take heed that you do not
let your own pot boil over. Many a man
has given himself a box on the ear in his
blind rage, ay, and ended his own life out
of spite. He who cannot curb his temper
carries gunpowder in his bosom, and he is
neither safe for himself nor his neighbors.
When passion comes in at the door, what
little sense there is indoors flies out at the
window. By-and-by a hasty man cools
and comes to himself, like MacGibbon's
gruel when he put it out of the window,
but if his nose is off in the meantime, who
is to put it on again? He will only be
sorry once and that will be all the rest of
his life. Anger does a man more hurt than
that which made him angry. It opens his
mouth and shuts his eyes, and fires his
heart, and drowns his sense, and makes his
wisdom folly. Old Tompkins told me that
he was sorry that he lost his temper, and
I could not help thinking that the pity
was that he ever found it again, for it was
like an old shoe with the sole gone and the
upper leathers worn out, only fit for a dung-
hill. A hot-tempered man would be all the
better for a new heart, and a right spirit.

DON'T CUT OFF YOUR NOSE. 53

Anger is a fire which cooks no victuals, and
comforts no household : it cuts and curses
and kills, and no one knows what it may
lead to ; therefore, good reader, don't let it
lodge in your bosom, and if it ever comes
there, pass the vagrant on to the next parish.

Gently, gently, little pot,

Why so hasty to be hot ?

Over you will surely boil,

And I know not what you'll spoil.

The old gent in our picture has a fine
nose of his own, and though he will be a
fool to cut it off, he would be wise to cut
off the supplies which have made it such a
size. That glass and jug on the table are
the paint-pots that he colors his nose with,
and everbody knows, whether he knows it
or knows it not, that his nose is the out-
ward and visible sign of a good deal of in-
ward and spirituous drink, and the sooner he
drops his drops the better. So here we
will cut off, not our nose, but the present
subject.

HE HAS A HOLE UNDER HIS NOSE
AND HIS MONEY RUNS INTO IT.

THIS is the man who is always dry, be-
cause he takes so much heavy wet.
He is a loose fellow who is fond of getting
tight. He is no sooner up than his nose is
(54)

THE HOLE UNDER THE NOSE. 55

in the cup, and his money begins to run
down the hole which is just under his nose.
He is not a blacksmith, but he has a spark
in his throat, and all the publican's barrels
can't put it out. If a pot of beer is a yard
of land, he must have swallowed more
acres than a ploughman could get over for
many a day, and still he goes on swallow-
ing until he takes to wallowing. All goes
down Gutter Lane. Like the snipe, he
lives by suction. If you ask him how he
is, he says he would be quite right if he
could moisten his mouth. His purse is a
bottle, his bank is the publican's till, and his
casket is a cask : pewter is his precious
metal, and his pearl* is a mixture of gin
and beer. The dew of his youth comes
from Ben Nevis, and the comfort of his
soul is cordial gin. He is a walking barrel,
a living drain-pipe, a moving swill-tub.
They say " loth to drink and loth to leave
off," but he never needs persuading to begin,
and as to ending — that is out of the ques-
tion while he can borrow two-pence. This
is the gentleman who sings —

* Purl.

56 JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

He that buys land buys many stones,
He that buys meat buys many bones,
He that buys eggs buys many shells,
He that buys good ale buys nothing else.

He will never be hanged for leaving his
drink behind him. He drinks in season
and out of season : in summer because he
is hot, and in winter because he is cold.
A drop of beer never comes too soon, and
he would get up in the middle of the night
for more, only he goes to bed too tipsy.
He has heard that if you get wet-footed a
glass of whisky in your boots will keep
you from catching cold, and he argues that
the best way to get one glass of the spirit
into each boot is to put two doses where it
will run into your legs. He is never long
without an excuse for another pot, or if per-
chance he does not make one, another lush-
ington helps him.

Some drink when friends step in,
And some when they step out ;
Some drink because they're thin,
And some because they're stout.

Some drink because 'tis wet,
And some because 'tis dry ;
Some drink another glass
To wet the other eye.

THE HOLE UNDER THE NOSE. 57

Water is this gentleman's abhorrence,
whether used inside or out, but most of all
he dreads it taken inwardly, except with
spirits, and then the less the better. He says
that the pump would kill him, but he never
gives it a chance. He laps his liquor, and
licks his chaps, but he will never die through
the badness of the water from the well. It
is a pity that he does not run the risk.
Drinking cold water neither makes a man
sick, nor in debt, nor his wife a widow, but
this mighty fine ale of his will do all this
for him, make him worse than a beast while
he lives, and wash him away to his grave
before his time. The old Scotchman said,
" Death and drink-draining are near neigh-
bors," and he spoke the truth. They say
that drunkenness makes some men fools,
some beasts, and some devils, but according
to my mind it makes all men fools whatever
else it does. Yet when a man is as drunk
as a rat he sets up to be a judge, and mocks
at sober people. Certain neighbors of mine
laugh at me for being a teetotaller, and I
might well laugh at them for being drunk,
only I feel more inclined to cry that they
should be such fools. O that we could get

58 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

them sober, and then perhaps we might
make men of them. You cannot do much
with these fellows, unless you can enlist
them in the Coldstream guards.

He that any good would win
At his mouth must first begin.

As long as drink drowns conscience and
reason, you might as well talk to the hogs.
The rascals will promise fair and take the
pledge, and then take their coats to pledge
to get more beer. We smile at a tipsy man,
for he is a ridiculous creature, but when we
see how he is ruined body and soul it is no
joking matter. How solemn is the truth
that " No drunkard shall inherit eternal life."
There's nothing too bad for a man to say
or do when he is half-seas over. It is a
pity that any decent body should go near
such a common sewer. If he does not fall
into the worst of crimes it certainly is not
his fault, for he has made himself ready for
anything the devil likes to put into his mind.
He does least hurt when he begins to be
topheavy, and to reel about: then he be-
comes a blind man with good eyes in his
head, and a cripple with legs on. He sees

THE HOLE UNDER THE NOSE. 59

two moons, and two doors to the public-
house, and tries to find his way through
both the doors at once. Over he goes, and
there he must lie unless somebody will
wheel him home in a barrow or carry him
to the police-station.

Solomon says the glutton and the drunk-
ard shall come to poverty, and that the
drinker does in no time. He gets more
and more down at the heel, and as his nose
gets redder and his body is more swollen
he gets to be more of a shack and more of
a shark. His trade is gone, and his credit
has run out, but he still manages to get his
beer. He treats an old friend to a pot, and
then finds that he has left his purse at home,
and of course the old friend must pay the
shot. He borrows till no one will lend him
a groat, unless it is to get off lending a
shilling. Shame has long since left him,
though all who know him are ashamed of
him. His talk runs like the tap, and is full
of stale dregs : he is very kind over his
beer, and swears he loves you, and would
like to drink your health, and love you
again. Poor sot, much good will his bless-
ing do to any one who gets it; his poor

60 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

wife and family have had too much of it
already, and quake at the very sound of his
voice.

Now, if we try to do anything to shut up
a boozing-house, or shorten the hours for
guzzling, we are called all sorts of bad
names, and the wind-up of it all is — " What!
Rob a poor man of his beer f " The fact is
that they rob the poor man by his beer.
The ale-jug robs the cupboard and the table,
starves the wife and strips the children ; it
is a great thief, housebreaker, and heart-
breaker, and the best possible thing is to
break it to pieces, or keep it on the shelf
bottom upwards. In a newspaper which
was lent me the other day I saw some verses
by John Barleycorn, jun., and as they tickled
my fancy I copied them out, and here they
are.

What ! rob a poor man of his beer,
And give him good victuals instead !

Your heart's very hard, sir, I fear,
Or at least you are soft in the head.

What ! rob a poor man of his mug,
And give him a house of his own ;

With kitchen and parlor so snug !

'Tis enough to draw tears from a stone.

THE HOLE UNDER THE NOSE. 6l

What ! rob a poor man of his glass,
And teach him to read and to write !

What ! save him from being an ass !
'Tis nothing but malice and spite.

What ! rob a poor man of his ale,

And prevent him from beating his wife,

From being locked up in a jail.
With penal employment for life !

What ! rob a poor man of his beer,
And keep him from starving his child !

It makes one feel awfully queer,

And I'll thank you to draw it more mild.

Having given you a song, I now hand
you a handbill to stick up in the " Rose and
Crown " window, if the landlord wants an
advertisement. It was written many years
ago, but it is quite as good as new. Any
beer-seller may print it who thinks it likely
to help his trade —

DRUNKARDS, READ THIS!

DRUNKENNESS

EXPELS REASON,

DISTEMPERS THE BODY,

DIMINISHES STRENGTH,

INFLAMES THE BLOOD;

f INTERNAL 1

CAUSES JEXTERNAL IwOUNDS-
CAUSESj ETERNAL ^WOUNDS,

[INCURABLE]

IS

A WITCH TO THE SENSES,

A DEMON TO THE SOUL,

A THIEF TO THE PURSE,

A GUIDE TO BEGGARY, LECHERY, & VILLAINY.

IT IS

THE WIFE'S WOE, AND
THE CHILDREN'S SORROW.

MAKES A MAN

WALLOW WORSE THAN A BEAST, AND
ACT LIKE A FOOL.

HE IS

A SELF-MURDERER;
WHO DRINKS TO ANOTHER'S GOOD HEALTH,

AND

ROBS HIMSELF OF HIS OWN.

(62)

EVERY MAN SHOULD SWEEP BE-
FORE HIS OWN DOOR.

HE is a wise man who has wit enough
for his own affairs. It is a common
thing for people to mind Number One, but
not so common to see people mend it.

(63)

64 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES,

When it comes to spending money on
labor or improvements, they think that re-
pairs should begin at Number Two, and
Number Three, and go on till all the houses
up to Number Fifty are touched up before
any hint should be given to Number One.
Now, this is very stupid, for if charity
should begin at home, certainly reformation
should begin there too. It is a waste of
time to go far away to make a clearance,
there's nothing like sweeping the snow
from your own door. Let every dog carry
his own tail. Mind your own business, and
mend your own manners, and if every man
does the same all will be minded and mend-
ed, as the old song says :

" Should every man defend his house,

Then all would be defended ;
If every man would mend a man,
Then all mankind were mended."

A man who does not look well to his own
concerns is not fit to be trusted with other
people's. Lots of folks are so busy abroad
that they have no time to look at home.
They say the cobbler's wife goes barefoot,
and the baker's child gets no buns, and the

SWEEP BEFORE YOUR OWN DOOR. 65

sweep's house has sooty chimneys. This
comes of a man's thinking that he is every-
body except himself. All the wit in the
world is not in one head, and therefore the
wisest man living is not bound to look
after all his neighbors' matters. There are
wonderful people about whose wisdom
would beat Solomon into fits ; and yet they
have not sense enough to keep their own ket-
tle from boiling over. They could manage
the nation, and yet can't keep their boys out
of the farmer's orchard ; they could teach the
parson, but they can't learn themselves.
They poke their noses into other people's
concerns, where they are as welcome as
water in one's shoes, but as for setting
their own house to rights, they like the job
about as much as a pig likes having a ring
put in his nose. The meddlesome man
will not begin to darn his own stockings
because he has left his needle sticking in
his cousin's socks : he will be as grey as
grannum's cat before he improves, and yet
he struts like a crow in a gutter, and thinks
himself cock of the walk.

A man's own selfishness and conceit

66 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

ought to make him see to his own ways if
nothing else does.

There's but one wise man in the world,

And who d'ye think it be ?
'Tis this man, that man, t'other man,

Every man think's 'tis he.

Now, if this be so, why does not this wise
man do the wise thing and set his own wise
self in the way of growing wiser ? Every
cat cleans its own fur, and licks its own kit-
tens : when will men and women mind
their own minds, and busy themselves with
their own business ? Boil your own pota-
toes, and let me roast mine if I like ; I won't
do it with your firing. " Every man to his
tent " was the old cry in Israel, and it's not a
bad one for England, only Nelson gave us a
better —

ENGLAND EXPECTS EVERY MAN TO DO HIS
DUTY.

SCANT FEEDING OF MAN OR

HORSE IS SMALL PROFIT AND

SURE LOSS.

WHAT is saved out of the food of
cattle is a dead loss, for a horse can't
work if he is not fed. If an animal won't

(67)

68 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

pay for keeping he won't pay for starving.
Even the land yields little if it is not nour-
ished, and it is just the same with the poor
beast. You might as well try to run a steam-
engine without coals, or drive a water-mill
without water, as work a horse without put-
ting corn into him. Thomas Tusser, who
wrote a book upon " Husbandry " in the
olden time, said,

" Who starveth his cattle, and weareth them out
By carting and ploughing, his gain I much doubt ;
But he that in labor doth use them aright
Has gain to his comfort, and cattle in plight."

Poor dumb animals cannot speak for them-
selves, and therefore every one who has his
speech should plead for them. To keep
them short of victuals is a crying shame.
The one in our picture seems to be thoroughly
broken in : look at his knees ! His owner
ought to be flogged at the cart tail. I hate
cruelty, and above all things the cruelty
which starves the laboring beast.

A right good man is good to all,
And stints not table, rack, or stall ;
Not only cares for horse and hog,
But kindly thinks of cat and dog.

DULY FEED MAN AND STEED. 69

Is not a man better than a beast ? Then,
depend upon it, what is good for the
ploughing horse is good for the ploughing
boy : a belly full of plain food is a wonder-
ful help to a laboring man. A starving
workman is a dear servant. If you don't
pay your men, they pay themselves, or else
they shirk their work. He who labors well
should be fed well, especially a ploughman.

" Let such have enow
That follow the plough."

There would be no bread if it were not for
the ploughman : would you starve the man
who is the very bottom and beginning of
everything ? John never brags, but he thinks
well of his calling, and thinks well of those
who pay well : as for those who grind the
faces of the poor, the more John thinks of
them the less he thinks of them. A man
may live upon little, but Farmer Gripper
thinks we can live upon nothing, which is a
horse of another color. I can't make out
why the land cannot afford to keep those
who work on it, for it used to do so. Tom
Tusser wrote three hundred years ago,

70 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

" Good ploughmen look weekly, of custom and right,
For roast meat on Sundays, and Thursdays at night.
Thus doing and keeping such custom and guise,
They call thee good huswife, they love thee likewise."

This is what he writes to the farmer's wife
about the ploughmen who lived at the farm
house, but he has a bit to say for the other
fellows and their privileges. About the
harvest supper he says,

" In harvest time, harvest folk, servants, and all,
Should make all together good cheer in the hall."

I wish they would, but then they are so apt
to drink. Could we not have a feast with-
out the beer and the headaches ? This is
old Tom's writing about the harvest supper,
and so on, —

" For all this good feasting, yet art thou not loose,
Till ploughman thou givest his harvest home goose.
Though goose go in stubble, I pass not for that,
Let Giles have a goose, be she lean, be she fat."

I fancy I see old Gripper giving Giles a
goose : he would think Giles a green goose
if he were to hint at it. Gripper is a close
shaver ; where he grazes no goose could
pick up a living after him. He does not

DULY FEED MAN AND STEED. 71

know what his lean laborers say of him,
but he might guess, for a hungry man is an
angry man, and an empty belly makes no
compliments. As for lazy fellows who will
eat till they sweat and work till they freeze,
I don't mind what short commons they get ;
but a real hard-working man ought to be
able to get for a day's work enough to keep
himself and family from hunger. If this
cannot be done, something is wrong some-
where, as the man said when he sat down
on a setting of eggs. I am not going to
blame the farmers, or the landlords, or the
Parliament men, or anybody ; but the land
is good, and yields plenty for man and
beast, and neither horse nor man should be
starved.

There is no gain in being niggardly to
your cattle. I have known men buy old
screws of horses and feed them badly, and
yet pay more in the long run for ploughing
than the owner of a good team who gave
out a fair allowance. The poor things can't
work if they don't eat. As I said before, I
speak up for the horses because they can't
speak for themselves. All they can say,
however, goes to prove what I have written :

72 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

ask them if they can plough well when they
get bad corn, and little of it, and they an-
swer with a neigh.

As for the men, I wish they were, all round,
a more deserving set, but I am obliged to
own that a many are better at grubbing than
ploughing. I would say to them, " Do
good work, and then ask for good wages."
I am afraid that many are not worth more
than they get. Our old master used to say
to Crawley Jones —

" You feed so fast, and walk so very slow —
Eat with your legs, and with your grinders go."

But then, if Jones was a slow man, he
certainly had slow pay. He did not see the
fun of working to the tune of twenty shill-
ings when he had only ten. If he had done
more, master would have given him more,
but Jones couldn't see that, and so he
mouched about, doing next to nothing, and
got next to nothing for it. He very seldom
got a bit of meat, and there was no bone or
muscle in the man. He seemed to be fed
on turnip-tops, and was as dull as a dor-
mouse in winter time, and unless you had
emptied a skip of bees over him you couldn't

DULY FEED MAN AND STEED. 73

have woke him up. They say that Johnny
Raw is a stupid ; he would not be half so
stupid if he had more raw to put in his pot.

Though lubbers might loiter with belly too full,
We're not in that case, but our belts we must pull ;
Could we manage to get a little more meat,
We could do twice as much, and think it no feat.

They call a ploughman Chaw-bacon, do
they ? Wouldn't he like a bit more bacon
to chaw? Hundreds and thousands of
hard-working men down in the shires
hardly get enough fat to grease the wheels
of life, and the more's the pity. As to the
poor women and children, it is often short-
cake with them: bread, and pull it, and
little of that.

One thing, however, is as plain as a pike-
staff; the laborer cannot afford to keep a
public house going while he has so little for
his own private house. He has not a penny
to spare, I'm sure, but had need to take all
home to the missus that he can make by
hook or by crook. Miss Hannah More
wrote two verses which every ploughman
should read, and mark, and learn.

74 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

" We say the times are grevious hard,

And hard they are, 'tis true !
But, drinkers, to your wives and babes
They're harder made by you.

" The drunkard's tax is self-imposed,

Like every other sin ;
The taxes altogether cost
Not half so much as gin."

Well, if after all our being sober and
thrifty, we cannot get along without pinch-
ing, let us still be patient and contented.
We have more blessings than we can count
even now. If masters happen to be close-
fisted, God is open-handed, and if the out-
ward food be scant, the bread of heaven is
plentiful. Cheer up, brother ploughman, it's
better on before. There is a city where " the
very streets are paved with gold exceeding
clear and fine." This should make us feel
like singing all the time, and help us to
follow the advice of old Thomas —

" At bed, and at board, whatsoever befall,
Whatever God sendeth, be merry withal.'*

NEVER STOP THE PLOUGH TO
CATCH A MOUSE.

THERE'S not much profit in this game.
Think of a man and a boy and four
horses all standing still for the sake of a
mouse ! What would old friend Tusser say

(75)

76 JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

to that ? I think he would rhyme in this
fashion —

A ploughman deserveth a cut of the whip,
If for idle pretence he let the hours slip.

Heaps of people act like the man in our
picture. They have a great work in hand
which wants all their wits, and they leave
it to squabble over some pretty nothing, not
worth a fig. Old master Tom would say
to them —

No more tittle tattle, go on with your cattle.

He could not bear for a farmer to let his
horses out for carting even, because it took
their work away from the farm, and so I
am sure he would be in a great stew if he
saw farmers wasting their time at matches,
and hunts, and the like. He says —

" Who slacketh his tillage a carter to be,
For groat got abroad, at home shall lose three;
For sure by so doing he brings out of heart,
Both land for the corn, and horse for the cart."

The main chance must be minded, and the
little things must be borne with. Nobody
would burn his house down to kill the

MO USE- tA TCHING. 77

blackbeetles, and it would never answer to
kill the bullocks to feed the cats. If our
baker left off making bread for a week while
he cracked the cockroaches, what should
we ail do for breakfast? If the butcher
sold no more meat till he had killed all the
blow-flies, we should be many a day with-
out mutton. If the water companies never
gave the Londoners a drink till they had
fished every gudgeon out of the Thames,
how would the old ladies make their tea?
There's no use in stopping your fishing be-
cause of the sea-weed, nor your riding be-
cause of the dust.

Now, our minister said to me the other
day, " John, if you were on the committees
of some of our societies you would see this
mouse-hunting done to perfection. Not only
committees, but whole bodies of Christian
people, go mouse-hunting." Well, said I,
minister, just write me a bit, and I will stick
it in my book, it will be beef to my horse-
radish. Here's his writing —

" A society of good Christian people will
split into pieces over a petty quarrel, or
mere matter of opinion, while all around
them the masses are perishing for want of

78 JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

the gospel. A miserable little mouse,
which no cat would ever hunt, takes them
off from their Lord's work. Again, intelli-
gent men will spend months of time and
heaps of money in inventing and publishing
mere speculations, while the great field of
the world lies unploughed. They seem to
care nothing how many may perish so long
as they can ride their hobbies. In other
matters a little common sense is allowed
to rule, but in the weightiest matters fool-
ishness is sadly conspicuous. As for you
and me, John, let us kill a mouse when it
nibbles our bread, but let us not spend our
lives over it. What can be done by a
mousetrap or a cat should not occupy all
our thoughts.

The paltry trifles of this world are much
of the same sort. Let us give our chief at-
tention to the chief things, — the glory of
God, the winning of souls for Jesus, and
our own salvation. There are fools enough
in the world, and there can be no need that
Christian men should swell the number.
Go on with your ploughing, John, and I
will go on with my preaching, and in due
season we shall reap if we faint not."

A LOOKING GLASS IS OF NO USE
TO A BLIND MAN.

HE who will not see is much the same
as if he had no eyes ; indeed, in
some things, the man without eyes has the
advantage, for he is in the dark and knows

(79)

8o JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

it. A lantern is of no use to a bat, and
good teaching is lost on the man who will
not learn. Reason is folly with the un-
reasonable. One man can lead a horse to
the water, but a hundred cannot make him
drink : it is easy work to tell a man the
truth, but if he will not be convinced your
labor is lost. We pity the poor blind, we
cannot do so much as that for those who
shut their eyes against the light.

A man who is blind to his own faults is
blind to his own interests. He who thinks
that he never was a fool is a fool now. He
who never owns that he is wrong will never
get right. He'll mend, as the saying is,
when he grows better, like sour beer in sum-
mer. How can a man take the smuts off
his face if he will not look in the glass, nor
believe that they are there when he is told
of them ?

Prejudice shuts up many eyes in total
darkness. The man knows already : he is
positive and can swear to it, and it's no use
your arguing. He has made up his mind,
and it did not take him long, for there's very
little of it, but when he has said a thing he
sticks to it like cobbler's wax. He is

THE BLIND NEED NO MIRRORS. 81

wiser than seven men that can render a
reason. He is as positive as if he had been
on the other side the curtain and looked into
the back yard of the universe. He talks
as if he carried all knowledge in his waist-
coat pocket, like a peppermint lozenge.
Those who like may try to teach him, but
I don't care to hold up a mirror to a mole.

Some men are blinded by their worldly
business, and could not see heaven itself if
the windows were open over their heads.
Look at farmer Grab, he is like Nebuchad-
nezzar, for his conversation is all among
beasts, and if he does not eat grass it is be-
cause he never could stomach salads. His
dinner is his best devotion, he is a terrible
fastener on a piece of beef, and sweats at it
more than at his labor. As old Master
Earle says, " His religion is a part of his
copyhold, which he takes from his landlord,
and refers wholly to his lordship's discretion.
If he gives him leave, he goes to church in
his best clothes, and sits there with his
neighbors, but never prays more than two
prayers — for rain and for fair weather, as
the case may be. He is a niggard all
the week, except on market days, where, if
6

82 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

his corn sell well, he thinks he may be
drunk with a good conscience. He is sensi-
ble of no calamity but the burning of a stack
of corn, or the overflowing of a meadow,
and he thinks Noah's flood the greatest
plague that ever was, not because it
drowned the world, but spoiled the grass.
For death he is never troubled, and if he
gets in his harvest before it happens, it may
come when it will, he cares not." He is as
stubborn as he is stupid, and to get a new
thought into his head you would need
to bore a hole in his skull with a centre-
bit. The game would not be worth the
candle. We must leave him alone, for he is
too old in the tooth, and too blind to be
made to see.

Other people hurt their eyes by using
glasses which are not spectacles. I have
tried to convince Joe Scroggs that it would
be a fine thing for him to join the teetotalers,
and he has nothing to say against it only
" he does not see it."

" He up and told me to my face,
The chimney corner should be his place,
And there he'd sit and dye his face,
And drink till all is blue."

THE BLIND NEED NO MIRRORS. 83

All is blue with him now, for his furniture
is nearly all sold, and his wife and children
have not a shoe to their foot, and yet he
laughs about " a yard of pump water," and
tells me to go and drink my cocoa. Poor
soul ! Poor soul !

In tippling is his sole delight,
Each sign- post bars his way ;

He spends in muddy ale at night
The wages of the day.

Can nothing be done for such poor fools.
Why not shorten the hours for dealing out
the drink ? Why not shut up the public-
houses on Sundays ? If these people have
not got sense enough to take care of them-
selves the law should protect them. Will
Shepherd says he has to fetch his sheep out
of a field when they are likely to get blown
through eating too much green meat, and
there ought to be power to fetch sots out of
a beer-shop when they are worse than
blowed through drink. How I wish I
could make poor Scroggs see as I do, but
there, if a fellow has no eyes he can't see the
sun, though his nose is being scorched off in
the glare of it.

84 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

Of all dust the worst for the eyes is gold
dust. A bribe blinds the judgment, and
riches darken the mind. As smoke to the
eyes, so also is flattery to the soul, and
prejudice turns the light of the sun into a
darkness that may be felt. We are all
blind by nature, and till the good Physician
opens our eyes we grope, even in gospel
light. All the preaching in the world can-
not make a man see the truth so long as his
eyes are blinded. There is a heavenly eye-
salve which is a sovereign cure, but the
worst of the matter is that the blind in
heart think they see already, and so they
are likely to die in darkness. Let us pray
for those who never pray for themselves :
God's power can do for them what is far
beyond our power.

A dark and blinded thing is man,

Yet full of fancied light !
But all his penetration can

Obtain no gospel light.

Though heavenly truth may blaze abroad,

He cannot see at all ;
Though gospel leaders show the road,

He still gropes for the wall.

THE BLIND NEED NO MIRRORS. 85

Perhaps he stands to hear the sound,

But blind he still remains,
No meaning in the word is found

To cause him joys or pains.

O Lord, thy holy power display,

For thou the help must find ;
Pour in the light of gospel day,

Illuminate the blind.

Behold, how unconcerned they dwell

Though reft of sight they be,
They fancy they can see right well,

And need no help from thee.

Speak, and they'll mourn their blinded eyes,

And cry to thee for light ;
O Lord, do not our prayer despise,

But give these blind men sight.

HE HAS GOT THE FIDDLE, BUT
NOT THE STICK.

IT often comes to pass that a man steps
into another's shoes, and yet cannot
walk in them. A poor tool of a parson gets
into a good man's pulpit, and takes the

(86)

GOT THE FIDDLE, NOT THE STICK. 87

same texts, but the sermons are chalk, and
not cheese. A half-baked young swell in-
herits his father's money, but not his gen-
erosity, his barns, but not his brains, his
title, but not his sense, — he has the fiddle
without the stick, and the more's the pity.
Some people imagine that they have only
to get hold of the plough-handles, and they
would soon beat John Ploughman. If they
had his fiddle they are sure they could play
on it. J. P. presents his compliments, and
wishes he may be there when it is done.

" That I fain would see,
Quoth blind George of Hollowee."

However, between you and me and the bed-
post, there is one secret which John does
not mind letting out. John's fiddle is poor
enough, but the stick is a right good one,
too good to be called a fiddle-stick. Do
you want to see the stick with which John
plays his fiddle ? Here it is — Looking to
God for help, John always tries to do his
best, whatever he has to do, and he has
found this to be the very best way to play
all kinds of tunes. What little music there
is in John's poor old fiddle comes out

88 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

of it in that way. Listen to a scrape or
two.

If I were a cobbler, I'd make it my pride

The best of all cobblers to be ;
If I were a tinker, no tinker beside

Should mend an old kettle like me.

And being a ploughman, I plough with the best,
No furrow runs straighter than mine ;

I waste not a moment, and stay not to rest,
Though idlers to tempt me combine.

Yet I wish not to boast, for trust I have none

In aught I can do or can be ;
I rest in my Saviour, and what he has done

To ransom poor sinners like me.

" GREAT CRY AND LITTLE WOOL/'

AS THE MAN SAID WHO CLIPPED

THE SOW.

OUR friend Hodge does not seem to be
making much of an out at shearing.
It will take him all his time to get wool

(89)

90 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

enough for a blanket, and his neighbors are
telling him so, but he does not heed them,
for a man never listens to reason when he
has made up his mind to act unreasonably.
Hodge gets plenty of music of a sort :
Hullah's system is nothing to it, and even
Nebuchadnezzar's flutes, harps, sackbuts,
and dulcimers could not make more din.
He gets " cry " enough to stock a Babylon
of babies, but not wool enough to stop his
ears with.

Now, is not this very like the world with
its notions of pleasure ? There is noise
enough ; laughter and shouting, and boast-
ing ; but where is the comfort which can
warm the heart and give peace to the
spirit ? Generally there's plenty of smoke
and very little fire in what is called pleasure.
It promises a nag and gives an egg. Gaiety
is a sort of flash in the pan, a fifth of No-
vember squib, all fizz and bang and done
for. The devil's meal is all bran, and the
world's wine turns to vinegar. It is al-
ways making a great noise over nutshells.
Thousands have had to weep over their
blunders in looking for their heaven on
earth ; but they follow each other like sheep

GREAT CRY AND LITTLE WOOL. 91

through a gap, not a bit the wiser for the
experience of generations. It seems that
every man must have a clip at his own par-
ticular pig, and cannot be made to believe
that like all the rest it will yield him noth-
ing but bristles. Men are not all of one
mind as to what is best for them ; they no
more agree than the clocks in our village,
but they all hang together in following
after vanity, for to the core of their hearts
they are vain.

One shears the publican's hog, which is
so fond of the swill tub, and he reckons
upon bringing home a wonderful lot of
wool; but everybody knows that he who
goes to the u Woolpack " for wool will come
home shorn: the "Blue Boar" is an un-
commonly ugly animal to shear, and so is
the " Red Lion." Better sheer off as fast
as you can ; it will be sheer folly to stop.
You may loaf about the tap of the " Half-
moon " till you get the full moon in your
noddle, and need a keeper : it is the place
for men whose wits go woolgathering, but
wool there is none.

Another is covetous, and hopes to escape
misery by being a miser : his greedy mind

92 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

can no more be filled than a lawyer's purse :
he never has enough, and so he never has
a feast. He makes money with his teeth,
by keeping them idle. That is a very lean
hog to clip at, for poverty wants some
things, luxury many things, but covetous-
ness wants all things. If we could hoard
up all the money in the world, what would
it be to us at last? To-day at good cheer,
to-morrow on the bier : in the midst of life
we, are in death.

Some, like old Mrs. Too-good, go in for
self-righteousness, and their own mouths
dub them saints. They are the pink of per-
fection, the cream of creation, the gems of
their generation, and yet a sensible man
would not live in the same house with them
for all the money you could count. They are
saints abroad, but ask their maids what they
are at home. Great cry and little wool is
common enough in religion : you will find
that those who crack themselves up are
generally cracked, and those who despise
their neighbors come to be despised them-
selves.

Many try wickedness, and run into bad
company, and rake the kennels of vice. I

GREAT CRY AND LITTLE WOOL. 93

warrant you they may shear the whole sty-
ful of filthy creatures and never find a mor-
sel of wool on the whole lot of them. Loose
characters, silly amusements, gambling, wan-
tonness, and such like, are swine that none
but a fool will try his shears upon. I don't
deny that there's plenty of swinish music —
who ever expected that there would be
silence in a piggery ? But then noise cannot
fill the heart, nor laughter lighten the soul.
John Ploughman has tried for himself,
and he knows by experience that all the
world is nothing but a hog that is not worth
the shearing : " Vanity of vanities, all is
vanity." But yet there is wool to be had ;
there are real joys to be got for the asking
if we ask aright. Below, all things deceive
us, but above us there is a true Friend.
" Wherefore do ye spend your money for
that which is not bread, and your labor for
that which satisfieth not ? " This is John
Ploughman's verdict, which he wishes all
his readers to take note of —

" Faith in Jesus Christ will give
Sweetest pleasures while we live ;
Faith in Jesus must supply
Solid comfort when we die."

YOU MAY BEND THE SAPLING,
BUT NOT THE TREE.

LADDER, and pole, and cord will be of
no use to straighten the bent tree;
it should have been looked after much
earlier. Train trees when they are saplings

(94)

BEND THE SAPLING. 95

and young lads before the down comes on
their chins. If you want a bullfinch to
pipe, whistle to him while he is young ; he
will scarcely catch the tune after he has
learnt the wild bird's note. Begin early to
teach, for children begin early to sin.
Catch them young and you may hope to
keep them.

Ere your boy has reached to seven,
Teach him well the way to heaven :
Better still the work will thrive,
If he learns before he's five.

What is learned young is learned for life.
What we hear at the first we remember to
the last. The bent twig grows up a crooked
tree. Horse-breakers say

" The tricks a colt getteth at his first backing,
Will whilst he continueth never be lacking."

When a boy is rebellious, conquer him, and
do it well the first time, that there may be
no need to do it again. A child's first les-
son should be obedience, and after that you
may teach it what you please: yet the
young mind must not be laced too tight, or
you may hurt its growth and hinder its

96 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

strength. They say a daft nurse makes a
wise child, but I do not believe it : nobody
needs so much common sense as a mother
or a governess. It does not do to be al-
ways thwarting ; and yet remember if you
give a child his will and a whelp his fill,
both will surely turn out ill. A child's back
must be made to bend, but it must not be
broken. He must be ruled, but not with a
rod of iron. His spirit must be conquered,
but not crushed.

Nature does sometimes overcome nurture,
but for the most part the teacher wins the
day. Children are what they are made :
the pity is that so many are spoiled in the
bringing up. A child may be rocked too
hard; you may spoil him either by too
much cuffing or too much kissing. I knew
two boys who had a Christian mother, but
she always let them have their own way.
The consequence was that when they grew
up they took to drinking and low company
and soon spent the fortune their father left
them. No one controlled them and they
had no control over themselves, and so they
just rattled along the broad road like
butcher boys with runaway horses, and

BEND THE SAPLING. 97

there was no stopping them. A birch or
two worn out upon them when they were
little would have been a good use of timber.

Still, a child can be treated too hardly,
and especially he can be shut up too many
hours in school, when a good run and a
game of play would do him more good.
Cows don't give any the more milk for
being often milked, nor do children learn
any more because of very long hours in a
hot room.

A boy can be driven to learn till he loses
half his wits : forced fruits have little flavor;
a man at five is a fool at fifteen. If you
make veal of the calf he will never turn to
beef. Yet learning may be left so long that
the little dunce is always behindhand.

There's a medium in everything and he
is a good father who hits upon it, so that he
governs his family with love, and his family
loves to be governed by him. Some are
like Eli, who let his sons sin and only chided
them a little ; these will turn out to be cruel
parents in the long run : others are too
strict, and make home miserable, and so
drive the youngsters to the wrong road in
another way. Tight clothes are very apt to
7

98 JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

tear, and hard laws are often broken : but
loose garments tear too, and where there
are no laws at all, things are sure to go
amiss. So you see it is easy to err on either
side, and hard to dance the tight-rope of
wisdom. Depend on it, he who has a wife
and bairns will never be short of care to
carry. See what we get when we come to
marry, yet many there are who will not
tarry.

In these days children have a deal too
much of their own way, and often make
their mothers and fathers their slaves. It
has come to a fine pass when the goslings
teach the geese, and the kittens rule the
cat : it is the upsetting of everything, and
no parent ought to put up with it. It is as
bad for the boys and girls as it is for the
grown folk, and it brings out the worst side
of their characters. I would sooner be a
cat on hot bricks, or a toad under a harrow,
than let my own children be my masters.
No, the head must be the head, or it will
hurt the whole body.

For children out of place
Are a father's disgrace,
If you rule not you'll rue,
For they'll quickly rule you.

A MAN MAY LOVE HIS HOUSE,

THOUGH HE RIDE NOT ON THE

RIDGE.

YOU can love your house and not ride
on the ridge ; there's a medium in
everything. You can be fond of your wife

(99)

ioo JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

without being her drudge, and you can love
your children dearly, and yet not give them
their own way in everything. Some men are
of so strange a kidney that they set no
bounds to their nonsense. If they are fond
of roast beef they must needs suck the spit;
they cannot rest with eating the pudding,
they must swallow the bag. If they dis-
like a thing, the very smell of it sets them
grumbling, and if they like it they must
have it everywhere and always, for nothing
else is half so sweet. When they do go in
for eating rabbits, they have

Rabbits young and rabbits old,
Rabbits hot and rabbits cold,
Rabbits tender, rabbits tough :
Never can they have enough.

Whatever they take up takes them up, and for
a season they cannot seize on anything else.
At election times the barber cannot trim his
customer's poll because of the polling, and
the draper cannot serve you with calico be-
cause he is canvassing. The nation would
go to the dogs altogether if the cat's-meat
man did not secure the election by sticking
his mark on the ballot paper. It is supposed

RIDE NOT YOUR HOBBY TOO HARD. 101

that the globe would leave off turning round
if our Joe Scroggs did not go down to the
" Dun Cow," and read the paper, and have
his say upon politics, in the presence of the
house of commons assembled in the tap-
room. I do not quite think so, but I know
this, that when the Whigs and the Tories
and the Radicals are about, Scroggs is good
for nothing all day long. What party he
belongs to I don't know, but I believe his
leading principle will be seen in the follow-
ing verse : —

If gentlemen propose a glass

He never says them nay ;
For he always thinks it right to drink

While other people pay.

You can make a good thing become a
nuisance by harping on that one string from
dawn to dusk. A hen with one chick makes
no end of scratching and clucking, and so
does a fellow of one idea. He has a bee in
his bonnet, and he tries to put a wasp in
yours. He duns you, and if you do not
agree with him he counts you his enemy.
When you meet with him you are un-
fortunate, and when you leave him you will
better yourself go where you may : " there's

102 JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

small sorrow at our parting, " as the old mare
said to the broken cart. You may try to
humor him, but he will have all the more
humors if you do, for the man knows no
moderation, and if you let him ride on the
roof he will soon sit on the chimney-pot.

One man of my acquaintance used to take
Morrison's pills every day of his life, and
when I called to see him I had not been
there ten minutes before he wanted me to
take a dose, but I could not swallow what
he told me nor the pills either, so I told him
I dare say they were very good for him, but
they did not suit my constitution : however,
he kept on with his subject till I was fain to
be off. Another man never catches sight of
me but he talks about vaccination and goes
on against it till he froths at the mouth, and
I am half afraid he will inoculate me. My
master had a capital horse, worth a good
deal of money, only he always shied at a
stone-heap on the road, and if there were
fifty of them he always bolted off the road
every time. He had got heaps on his brain,
poor creature, and though he was fit for a
nobleman's carriage he had to be put to
plough. Some men have got stone-heaps

RIDE NOT YOUR HOBBY TOO HARD. 103

in their poor noddles and this spoils them
for life and makes it dangerous for all who
have to deal with them. What queer fish
there are in our pond ! I am afraid that most
of us have a crack somewhere, but we don't
all show it quite so much as some. We
ought to have a good deal of patience, and
then we shall find amusement where else
we should be bothered to death. One of
my mates says the world is not round, and
so I always drop into his notion and tell
him this is a flat world and he is a flat
too.

What a trial it is to be shut up for an
hour with a man or a woman with a hobby ;
riding in a horsebox with a bear with a sore
head is nothing to it. The man is so fond
of bacon that he wants you to kiss his pig,
and all the while you hope you will never
again see either the man or his pork as long
as you live. No matter what the whole hog
may be, the man who goes it is terrible.

Rocking horse for boy,
Hobby horse for man ;
Each one rides his toy
Whenever he can.

104 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

The boy is right glad
Though he rideth alone ;
His father's own fad
By the world must be known.

Of the two hobby rides,
The boy's is the best ;
For the man often chides,
And gives you no rest.

It is a good thing for a man to be fond of
his own trade and his own place, but still
there is reason in everything, even in roast-
ing eggs. When a man thinks that his
place is below him he will pretty soon
be below his place, and therefore a good
opinion of your own calling is by no means
an evil ; yet nobody is everybody, and no
trade is to crow over the rest. The cobbler
has his awl but he is not all, and the hatter
wears a crown but he is not king. A man
may come to market without buying my
onions, and ploughing can be done with
other horses than mine, though Dapper and
Violet are something to brag of. The farm-
ing interest is no doubt first, and so is the
saddler's, and so is the tinker's, and so is
the grocer's, and so is the draper's, and so
is the parson's, and so is the parish beadle's,

RIDE NO T YO UR HOBB Y TOO HARD. 105

and so is every other interest according to
each man's talk.

Your trade, as a trade, is all very well,
But other good folk have their cheeses to sell ;
You must not expect all the world to bow down,
And give to one pedlar the sceptre and crown.

It is astonishing how much men will cry
up small matters. They are very busy, but
it is with catching flies. They talk about a
mushroom till you would think it was the
only thing at the Lord Mayor's dinner, and
the beef and the turkeys went for nothing.
They say nothing about the leg of mutton,
for they are so much in love with the trim-*
mings. They can't keep things in their places,
but make more of a horse's tail than they do
of his whole body. Like the cock on the
dunghill, they consider a poor barley-corn
to be worth more than a diamond. A thing
happens to suit their taste and so there is
nothing like it in the whole of England ; no,
nor in all America or Australia. A duck
will not always dabble in the same gutter,
but they will ; for, bless your heart, they
don't think it a gutter, but a river, if not an
ocean. They must ride the ridge of the

106 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES,

roof, or else burn the house down. A good
many people love their dogs, but these folks
take them to bed with them. Other farmers
fat the calf, but they fall do\pn and worship
it, and what is worse they quarrel with
everybody who does not think as much of
their idol as they do.

It will be a long while before all men be-
come wise, but it will help on the time if we
begin to be wise ourselves. Don't let us
make too much of this world and the things
of it. We are to use it but not to abuse it ; to
live in it but not for it; to love our house
but not to ride on the ridge. Our daily
bread and daily work are to be minded, and
yet we must not mind earthly things. We
must not let the body send the soul to grass,
rather must we make the limbs servants to
the soul. The world must not rule us, we
must reign as kings though we are only
ploughmen ; and stand upright even if the
world should be turned upside down.

GREAT DRINKERS THINK THEM-
SELVES GREAT MEN.

WONDERFUL men and white rats
are not so scarce as most people
think. Folks may talk as they like about
Mr. Gladstone and Lord Beaconsfield, and

(107)

io8 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

that sharp gentleman Bismarck, but Jack,
and Tom, and Harry, and scores more that
I know of, could manage their business for
them a fine sight better ; at least, they think
so, and are quite ready to try. Great men
are as plentiful as mice in an old wheat-
stack down our way. Every parish has
one or two wonderful men; indeed, most
public-houses could show one at least, and
generally two ; and I have heard that on
Saturday nights, when our " Blue Dragon "
is full, there may be seen as many as twenty
of the greatest men in all the world in the
taproom, all making themselves greater by
the help of pots of beer. When the jug
has been filled and emptied a good many
times, the blacksmith feels he ought to be
prime minister ; Styles, the carter, sees the
way to take ofT all the taxes, and Old Hob,
the rat-catcher, roars out —

"They're all a pack of fools,
And good-for-nothing tools ;
If they'd only send for me,
You'd see how things would be."

If you have a fancy to listen to these
great men when they are talking you need

GREAT PUBLIC-MEN. 109

not go into the bar, for you can hear them
outside the house ; they generally speak four
or five at a time, and every one in a Mitcham
whisper, which is very like a shout. What
a fine flow of words they have ! There's
no end to it, and it's a pity there was ever
any beginning, for there's generally a mix
up of foul talk with their politics, and this
sets them all roaring with laughter. A few
evenings in such company would poison the
mind of the best lad in the parish. I am
happy to say that these great men have to
be turned out at ten o'clock, for then our
public-house closes ; and none too soon,
I'm sure.

A precious little is enough to make a
man famous in certain companies ; one fel-
low knocked a man's eye out at a prize-fight ;
another stowed away twice as much pud-
ding as four pigs could have disposed of;
another stood on his head and drank a glass
of beer ; and another won a prize by grin-
ning through a horse-collar ; and for such
things as these the sots of the village think
mightily of them. Little things please
little minds, and nasty things please dirty
minds. If I were one of these wonderful

1 10 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

fellows I would ask the nearest way to a
place where nobody would know me.

Now I am at it, I will notice a few other
wonderful bodies who sometimes conde-
scend to look down on a ploughman ; but
before I make them angry I would give
them a verse from one of my old uncle's
songs, which I have shaped a bit.

" I hope none will be offended with me for writing this,
For it is not intended for anything amiss ;
If you consider kindly my remarks you will allow,
For what can you expect from one whose hand is on
the plough ? "

I used to feel quite staggered when I
heard of an amazing clever man, but I've
got used to it, as the rook did to the scare-
crow when he found out that it was a stuffed
nothing. Like the picture which looked
best a very long distance off, so do most
clever fellows. They are swans a mile off,
but geese when you get near them. Some
men are too knowing to be wise, their boiler
bursts because they have more steam than
they can use. They know too much, and
having gone over the top of the ladder they
have gone down on the other side. People

GREAT PUBLIC-MEN. ill

who are really wise never think themselves
so : one of them said to me the other day, —

"All things I thought I knew ; but now confess
The more I know I know I know the less."

Simple Simon is in a sad plight in such a
world as this, but on the whole he gets on
better than a fellow who is too clever by
half. Every mouse had need have its eyes
open nowadays, for the cats are very many
and uncommonly sharp ; and yet, you mark
my word, most of the mice that are caught
are the knowing ones. Somehow or other,
in an ordinary sort of a world like this, it
does not answer to be so over and above
clever. Those who are up to so many
dodges, rind the dodges come down on them
before long. My neighbor Hinks was much
too wise a man to follow the plough, like
poor shallow-pated John Ploughman, and
so he took to scheming, and has schemed
himself into one of the largest mansions in
the country, where he will be provided with
oakum to pick and a crank to turn during
the next six calendar months. He had
better have been a fool, for his cleverness has
cost him his character.

112 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

When a man is too clever to tell the
truth he will bring himself into no end of
trouble before long. When he is too clever
to stick to his trade, he is like the dog that
let the meat fall into the water through try-
ing to catch at its shadow. Clever Jack
can do everything and can do nothing. He
intends to be rich all at once, and despises
small gains, and therefore is likely to die a
beggar. When puffing is trusted and hon-
est trading is scoffed at, time will not take
long to wind up the concern. Work is as
needful now as ever it was if a man would
thrive ; catching birds by putting salt on
their tails would be all very well, but the
creatures will not hold their tails still, and
so we had better catch them in the usual
way. The greatest trick for getting on in
business is to work hard and to live hard.
There's no making bread without flour, nor
building houses without labor. I know the
old saying is —

" No more mortar, no more brick,
A cunning knave has a cunning trick ; "

but for all that things go on much the same
as ever, and bricks and mortar are still
wanted.

TOO CLEVER BY HALF. 113

I see in the papers, every now and then,
that some of the clever gentlemen who
blow up bubble companies are pulled up
before the courts. Serve them right ! May
they go where my neighbor Hinks is, every
one of them. How many a poor trades-
man is over head and ears in difficulty
through them ! I hope in future all men
will fight shy of these fine companies, and
swell managers, and very clever men. Men
are neither suddenly rich nor suddenly good.
It is all a bag of moonshine when a man
would persuade you that he knows a way
of earning money by winking your eye.
We have all heard of the scheme for mak-
ing deal boards out of sawdust, and getting
butter out of mud, but we mean to go on
with the saw-mill, and keep on milking the
cows; for between you and me and the
blind mare, we have a notion that the plans
of idiots and very clever men are as like as
two peas in a shell.

The worst sort of clever men are those
who know better than the Bible and are so
learned that they believe that the world had
no Maker, and that men are only monkeys
with their tails rubbed off. Dear, dear me,
8

114 JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

this is the sort of talk we used to expect
from Tom of Bedlam, but now we get it
from clever men. If things go on in this
fashion a poor ploughman will not be able
to tell which is the lunatic and which is the
philosopher. As for me, the old Book
seems to be a deal easier to believe than the
new notions, and I mean to keep to it. Many
a drop of good broth is made in an old pot,
and many a sweet comfort comes out of the
old doctrine. Many a dog has died since I
first opened my eyes, and every one of these
dogs has had his day, but in all the days
put together they have never hunted out a
real fault in the Bible, nor started anything
better in its place. They may be very clever,
but they will not find a surer truth than that
which God teaches, nor a better salvation
than that which Jesus brings, and so finding
my very life in the gospel I mean to live in
it, and so ends this chapter.

TWO DOGS FIGHT FOR A BONE,

AND A THIRD RUNS AWAY

WITH IT.

W

E have all heard of the two men
who quarrelled over an oyster, and

(us)

Ii6 JOHN PLOUGHMAN^ S PICTURES.

called in a judge to settle the question : he
ate the oyster himself, and gave them a
shell each. This reminds me of the story
of the cow which two farmers could not
agree about, and so the lawyers stepped in
and milked the cow for them, and charged
them for their trouble in drinking the milk.
Little is got by law, but much is lost by it.
A suit in law may last longer than any suit
a tailor can make you, and you may your-
self be worn out before it comes to an end.
It is better far to make matters up and keep
out of court, for if you are caught there you
are caught in the brambles, and won't get
out without damage. John Ploughman feels
a cold sweat at the thought of getting into
the hands of lawyers. He does not mind
going to Jericho, but he dreads the gentle-
men on the road, for they seldom leave a
feather upon any goose which they pick up.
However, if men will fight they must not
blame the lawyers; if law were cheaper,
quarrelsome people would have more of it,
and quite as much would be spent in the
long run. Sometimes, however, we get
dragged into court willy nilly, and then one
had need be wise as a serpent and harmless

LITTLE IS GAINED BY LAW. 117

as a dove. Happy is he who finds an honest
lawyer, and does not try to be his own cli-
ent. A good lawyer always tries to keep
people out of law ; but some clients are like
moths with the candle, they must and will
burn themselves. He who is so wise that
he cannot be taught will have to pay for
his pride.

Let dogs delight to bark and bite,

And lose the marrow bone ;
Let bears and lions growl and fight,

I'll let the law alone.

To suffer wrong is surely sad,

But law-suits are in vain ;
To throw good money after bad

Will but increase my pain.

HE LIVES UNDER THE SIGN OF
THE CAT'S FOOT.

THE question was once asked, When
should a man marry ? and the merry
answer was, that for young men it is too
soon and for old men it is too late. This is
(118)

THE CAT'S FOOT. 119

all very fine, but it will not wash. Both the
wisdom and the folly of men seem banded
together to make a mock of this doctrine.
Men are such fools that they must and will
marry even if they marry fools. It is wise
to marry when we can marry wisely, and
then the sooner the better. How many
show their sense in choosing a partner it is
not for me to say, but I fear that in many
cases love is blind, and makes a very blind
choice. I don't suppose that some people
would ever get married at all if love had its
wits about it. It is a mystery how certain
parties ever found partners ; truly there's
no accounting for tastes. However, as they
make their bed they must lie on it, and as
they tie the knot they must be tied by it.
If a man catches a tartar, or lets a tartar
catch him, he must take his dose of tartaric
acid, and make as few ugly faces as he can.
If a three-legged stool come flying through
the air, he must be thankful for such a plain
token of love from the woman of his choice,
and the best thing he can do is to sit down
on it, and wait for the next little article.

When it is said of a man, " He lives un-
der the sign of the cat's foot/' he must try

120 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

and please his pussy that she may not
scratch him more than such cats generally
do. A good husband will generally have
a good wife, or make a bad wife better.
Bad Jack makes a great noise about bad
Jill, but there's generally twenty of one
where there's a score of the other. They
say a burden of one's own choosing is never
felt to be heavy, but I don't know, some
men are loaded with mischief as soon as
they have a wife to carry. Yet

A good woman is worth, if she were sold,
The fairest crown that's made of gold.

She is a pleasure, a treasure, and a joy with-
out measure. A good wife and health are
a man's best wealth ; and he who is in such
a case should envy no man's place. Even
when a woman is a little tart it is better
than if she had no spirit, and made her
house into a dirt pie. A shrew is better
than a slut, though one can be quite miser-
able enough with either, If she is a good
housewife, and looks well after the children,
one may put up with a Caudle lecture now
and then, though a cordial lecture would be a
deal better. A husband is in a pickle in-

THE CAT'S FOOT. 121

deed if he gets tied up to a regular scold ;
he might as well be skinned and set up to
his neck in a tub of brine. Did you ever
hear the scold's song ? Read it, you young
folks who think of committing matrimony,
and think twice before you get married
once.

When in the morn I ope mine eyes,

To entertain the day,
Before my husband e'en can rise,

I scold him — then I pray.

When I at table take my place,

Whatever be the meat,
I first do scold — and then say grace,

If so disposed to eat.

Too fat, too lean, too hot, too cold,

I always do complain;
Too raw, too roast, too young, too

Faults I will find or feign.

Let it be flesh, or fowl, or fish,

It never shall be said,
But I'll find fault with meat or dish,

With master, or with maid.

But when I go to bed at night

I heartily do weep,
That I must part with my delight—

I cannot scold and sleep.

122 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

However, this doth mitigate

And much abate my sorrow,
That though to-night it be too late,

I'll early scold to-morrow.

When the husband is not a man it is not
to be wondered at if the wife wears the
top-boots : the mare may well be the best
horse when the other horse is a donkey.
Well may a woman feel that she is lord and
master when she has to earn the living
for the family, as is sometimes the case.
She ought not to be the head, but if she
has all the brains, what is she to do ? What
poor dawdles many men would be without
their wives ! As poor softy Simpkins says,
if Bill's wife becomes a widow who will cut
the pudding up for him, and will there be a
pudding at all ? It is grand when the wife
knows her place, and keeps it, and they
both pull together in everything. Then she
is a helpmeet indeed and makes the house
a home. Old friend Tusser says,

" When husband is absent let housewife be chief,
And look to their labor who live from their sheaf,
The housewife's so named for she keepeth the house,
And must tend on her profit as cat on a mouse."

He is very pat upon it that much of house-

"SARVES HIM RIGHT." 123

hold affairs must rest on the wife, and he
writes, —

" Both out, not allow,
Keep home, housewife thou."

Like the old man and woman in the toy
which shows the weather, one must be sure
to be in if the other goes out. When the
king is abroad the queen must reign at
home, and when he returns to his throne he
is bound to look upon her as his crown,
and prize her above gold and jewels. He
should feel " if there's only one good wife
in the whole world, I've got her." John
Ploughman has long thought just that of
his own wife, and after five-and-twenty
years he is more sure of it than ever. He
never bets, but he would not mind wager-
ing a farthing cake that there is not a better
woman on the surface of the globe than his
own, very own beloved. Happy is the man
who is happy in his wife. Let him love her
as he loves himself, and a little better, for
she is his better half.

Thank God that hath so blest thee,
And sit down, John, and rest thee.

There is one case in which I don't wonder

124 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

if the wife does put her mate under the
cat's foot, and that is when he slinks off to
the public, and wastes his wages. Even
then love and gentleness is the best way of
getting him home ; but, really, some topers
have no feeling, and laugh at kindness, and
therefore nobody can be surprised if the poor
wife bristles up and gives her lord and mas-
ter a taste of tongue. Nothing tries mar-
ried love more than the pot-house. Wages
wasted, wife neglected, children in rags:
if she gives it him hot and strong who can
blame her ? Pitch into him, good woman,
and make him ashamed of himself, if you
can. No wonder that you lead a cat and
dog life while he is such a sorry dog.

Still, you may as well go home and set
him a better example, for two blacks will
never make a white, and if you put him in
hot water he's sure to get some spirits to
mix with it.

HE WOULD PUT HIS FINGER IN

THE PIE, AND SO HE BURNT

HIS NAIL OFF.

SOME men must have a finger in every
pie, or, as the proverb hath it, " their

(125)

126 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

oar must be in every man's boat." They
seem to have no business except to poke
their noses into other people's business:
they ought to have snub noses, for they are
pretty sure to be snubbed. Prying and spy-
ing, peddling and meddling, these folks are
in everybody's way, like the old toll-gate.
They come without being sent for, stop with-
out being asked, and cannot be got rid of,
unless you take them by the left leg and
throw them down stairs, and if you do that
they will limp up again, and hope they don't
intrude. No one pays them, and yet they
give advice more often than any lawyer;
and though no one ever thanks them, yet
there they are, peeping through keyholes
and listening under the eaves. They are
as great at asking questions as if they
wanted you to say the catechism, and as
eager to give their opinion as if you had
gone down on your knees to ask it.

These folks are like dogs that fetch and
carry ; they run all over the place like star-
lings when they are feeding their young.
They make much ado, but never do much,
unless it is mischief, and at this they are as
apt as jackdaws. If any man has such

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 127

people for his acquaintances, he may well
say, " Save me from my friends."

I know your assistance you'll lend,
When I want it I'll speedily send ;
You need not be making such stir,
But mind your own business, good sir.

It is of no more use than if we spoke to
the pigs, for here is Paul Pry again. Paul
and his cousins are most offensive people,
but you cannot offend them if you try.

Well do I remember the words of a wise
old Quaker :— " John/' said he, "be not
concerned with that which concerns not
thee." This taught me a lesson, and I
made up my mind not to scrub other peo-
ple's pigs for fear I should soon want scrub-
bing myself. There is a woman in our
village who finds fault with all, and all find
fault with her ; they say her teeth are all
loose through her tongue rubbing against
them ; if she could but hold her tongue she
would be happy enough, but that's the diffi-
culty—

*' When hens fall a cackling take heed to the nest,
When drabs fall a whispering farewell to thy rest."

128 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

Will Shepherd was sitting very quiet while
others were running down their neighbors.
At last a loose fellow sung out " Look at
Old Will, he is as silent as a stock-fish;
is it because he is wise or because he is a
fool ?" " Well," said Will, "you may set-
tle that question how you like, but I have
been told that a fool cannot be silent."
Will is set down as very odd, but he is gen-
erally even with them before he has done.
One thing is sure, he cares very little what
they do say so long as they don't worry
his sheep. He hummed in my ear an old-
fashioned verse or two the other evening,
something like this —

" Since folks will judge me every day,
Let every man his judgment say;
I will take it all as children's play,
For I am as I am, whoever say nay.

Many there be that take delight
To judge a man's ways in envy and spite ;
But whether they judge me wrong or right,
I am as I am, and so do I write.

How the truth is I leave to you ;
Judge as ye list, whether false or true.
Ye know no more than before ye knew,
For I am as I am whatever ensue."

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 129

If folks will meddle with our business it
is best to take no notice of them ; there's no
putting them out like letting them stop
where they are ; they are never so offended
as when people neither offend them nor take
offence at them. You might as soon stop
all the frogs from croaking as quiet idle
gossips when they once get on the chat.
Stuff your ear with wool and let them jab-
ber till their tongue lies still, because they
have worn all the skin off of it. " Where
no wood is the fire goeth out," and if
you don't answer them they can't make a
blaze for want of fuel. Treat them kindly,
but don't give them the treat of quarrelling
with them. Follow peace with all men,
even if you cannot overtake it.

YOU CANT CATCH THE WIND IN
A NET.

SOME people get windmills in their heads,
and go in for all sorts of silly things.
They talk of ruling the nation as if men
were to be driven like sheep, and they
(130)

YOU CAN* T CA TCH THE WIND IN A NET. 131

prate of reforms and systems as if they could
cut out a world in brown paper, with a pair
of scissors. Such a body thinks himself
very deep, but he is as shallow as a milk-pan.
You can soon know him as well as if you
had gone through him with a lighted candle,
and yet you will not know a great deal after
all. He has a great head, and very little in
it. He can talk by the dozen, or the gross,
and say nothing. When he is fussing and
boasting of his fine doings you soon dis-
cover that he makes a long harvest of
very little corn. His tongue is like a pig's
tail, going all day long and nothing done.

This is the man who can pay off the
National Debt, and yet, in his little shop, he
sells two apples in three days : he has the
secret of high farming, and loses more at it
than any man in the county. The more he
studies the more he misses the mark ; he
reminds me of a blind man on a blind horse,
who rode out in the middle of a dark night,
and the more he tried to keep out of ditches
the more he fell in.

When they catch live red herrings on
Newmarket heath he will bring out a good
thing, and line his pockets with gold ; up

132 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

till now, he says, he has been unlucky, and
he believes that if he were to make a man
a coffin he would be sure not to die. He is
going to be rich next year, and you will
then see what you shall see: just now he
would be glad of half-a-crown on account,
for which he will give you a share in his in-
vention for growing wheat without plough-
ing or sowing.

It is odd to see this wise man at times
when his wits are all up in the moon : he is
just like Chang, the Chinaman, who said,
" Here's my umbrella, and here's my bundle,
but where am I?" He cannot find his
spectacles though he is looking through
them ; and when he is out riding on his own
ass, he pulls up and says, " Wherever is
that donkey ? "

I have heard of one learned man who
boiled his watch and stood looking at the
egg, and another who forgot that he was to
be married that day, and would have lost
his lady if his friend had not fetched him
out of his study. Think of that, my boy,
and don't fret yourself because you are not
so overdone with learning as to have for-
gotten your common sense.

YOU CAN1 TCA TCH THE WIND IN A NET. 133

The regular wind-catcher is soft as silk
and as green as grass, and yet he thinks
himself very long-headed ; and so indeed
he would be if his ears were taken into
the measurement. He is going to do —
well — there's no telling what. He is full
of wishes but short of will, and so his buds
never come to flowers or fruit. He is like
a hen that lays eggs, and never sits on them
long enough to hatch a single chick.

Moonshine is the article our friend deals
in, and it is wonderful what he can see by it.
He cries up his schemes, and it is said that
he draws on his imagination for his facts.
When he is in full swing with one of his
notions, he does not stick at a trifle. Will
Shepherd heard one of these gentry the
other day telling how his new company
would lead all the shareholders on to Tom
Tiddler's ground to pick up gold and silver ;
and when all the talk was over, Will said to
me, " That's a lie, with a lid on, and a brass
handle to take hold of it." Rather sharp
this of Will, for I do believe the man was
caught on his own hook and believed in his
own dreams ; yet I did not like him, for he
wanted us poor fellows to put our little sav-

134 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

ings into his hands, as if we could afford
to fly kites with laborers' wages.

What a many good people there are who
have religious crazes ! They do nothing,
but they have wonderful plans for doing
everything in a jiffy. So many thousand
people are to give half-a-crown each, and
so many more a crown, and so many more
a sovereign, and the meeting-house is to be
built just so, and no how else. The mischief
is that the thousands of people do not rush
forward with their money, and the minister
and a few hard-working friends have to get
it together little by little in the old-fashioned
style, while your wonderful schemer slinks
out of the way and gives nothing. I have
long ago found out that pretty things on
paper had better be kept there. Our master's
eldest son had a plan for growing plum-trees
in our hedges as they do in Kent, but he
never looked to see whether the soil would
suit, and so he lost the trees which he put
in, and there was an end of his damsons.

" Circumstances alter cases ;
Different ways suit different places."

New brooms sweep clean, but they mostly

YOU CAN^T CATCH THE WIND IN A NET. 135

sweep up dirt. Plough with what you please,
I stick to the old horses which have served
me so well. Fine schemes come to nothing ;
it is hard work that does it, whether it be
in the world or in the church.

" In the laborious husbandman you see
What all true Christians are or ought to be."

BEWARE OF THE DOG.

JOHN PLOUGHMAN did not in his
first book weary his friends by preach-
ing, but in this one he makes bold to try
his hand at a sermon, and hopes he will be ex-
(136)

BEWARE OF THE DOG. 137

cused if it should prove to be only a plough-
man's preachment.

If this were a regular sermon preached
from a pulpit of course I should make it
long and dismal, like a winter's night, for
fear people should call me eccentric. As it
is only meant to be read at home, I will
make it short, though it will not be sweet,
for I have not a sweet subject. The text
is one which has a great deal of meaning in
it, and is to be read on many a wall. " BE-
WARE OF THE DOG." You know what dogs
are, and you know how you beware of them
when a bull-dog flies at you to the full
length of his chain ; so the words don't
want any clearing up.

It is very odd that the Bible never says a
good word for dogs : I suppose the breed
must have been bad in those eastern parts,
or else, as our minister tells me, they were
nearly wild, had no master in particular,
and were left to prowl about half starved.
No doubt a dog is very like a man, and be-
comes a sad dog when he has himself for a
master. We are all the better for having
somebody to look up to; and those who

138 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

say they care for nobody and nobody cares
for them are dogs of the worst breed, and,
for a certain reason, are never likely to be
drowned.

Dear friends, I shall have heads and tails
like other parsons, and I am sure I have a
right to them, for they are found in the sub-
jects before us.

Firstly, let us beware of a dirty dog — or
as the grand old Book calls them, "evil
workers " — those who love filth and roll in
it. Dirty dogs will spoil your clothes, and
make you as foul as themselves. A man is
known by his company ; if you go with
loose fellows your character will be tarred
with the same brush as theirs. People can't
be very nice in their distinctions; if they
see a bird always flying with the crows,
and feeding and nesting with them, they
call it a crow, and ninety-nine times out of
a hundred they are right. If you are fond
of the kennel, and like to run with the
hounds, you will never make the world be-
lieve that you are a pet lamb. Besides, bad
company does a man real harm, for, as the
old proverb has it, if you lie down with dogs
you will get up with fleas.

BEWARE OF THE DOG. 139

You cannot keep too far off a man with
the fever and a man of wicked life. If a
lady in a fine dress sees a big dog come out
of a horse-pond, and run about shaking him-
self dry, she is very particular to keep out
of his way, and from this we may learn a
lesson, — when we see a man half gone in
liquor, sprinkling his dirty talk all around
him, our best place is half-a-mile off at the
least.

Secondly, beware of all snarling dogs.
There are plenty of these about ; they are
generally very small creatures, but they more
than make up for their size by their noise.
They yap and snap without end. Dr. Watts
said —

" Let dogs delight to bark and bite,
For God has made them so."

But I cannot make such an excuse for the
two-legged dogs I am writing about, for
their own vile tempers, and the devil to-
gether, have made them what they are. They
find fault with anything and everything.
When they dare they howl, and when they
cannot do that they lie down and growl in-
wardly. Beware of these creatures. Make
no friends with an angry man : as well make

140 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

a bed of stinging nettles or wear a viper for
a necklace. Perhaps the fellow is just now
very fond of you, but beware of him, for he
who barks at others to-day without a cause
will one day howl at you for nothing.
Don't offer him a kennel down your yard
unless he will let you chain him up. When
you see that a man has a bitter spirit, and
gives nobody a good word, quietly walk
away and keep out of his track if you can.
Loaded guns and quick tempered people
are dangerous pieces of furniture ; they don't
mean any hurt, but they are apt to go off
and do mischief before you dream of it.
Better go a mile out of your way than get
into a fight ; better sit down on a dozen tin-
tacks with their points up than dispute with
an angry neighbor.

Thirdly, beware of fawning dogs. They
jump up upon you and leave the marks of
their dirty paws. How they will lick your
hand and fondle you as long as there are
bones to be got : like the lover who said
to the cook, " Leave you, dear girl ? Never,
while you have a shilling." Too much
sugar in the talk should lead us to suspect
that there is very little in the heart. The

BEWARE OF THE DOG. 141

moment a man praises you to your face,
mark him, for he is the very gentleman to
rail at you behind your back. If a fellow
takes the trouble to flatter he expects to
be paid for it, and he calculates that he
will get his wages out of the soft brains of
those he tickles. When people stoop down
it generally is to pick something up,
and men don't stoop to flatter you unless
they reckon upon getting something out of
you. When you see too much politeness
you may generally smell a rat if you give
a good sniff. Young people need to be on
the watch against crafty flatterers. Young
women with pretty faces and a little money
should especially beware of puppies !

Fourthly, beware of a greedy dog, or a
man who never has enough. Grumbling is
catching ; one discontented man sets others
complaining, and this is a bad state of mind
to fall into. Folks who are greedy are not
always honest, and if they see a chance they
will put their spoon into their neighbor's
porridge ; why not into yours ? See how
cleverly they skin a flint ; before long you
will find them skinning you, and as you are
not quite so used to it as the eels are, you

142 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

had better give Mr. Skinner a wide berth.
When a man boasts that he never gives any-
thing away, you may read it as a caution —
"beware of the dog." A liberal, kind-
hearted friend helps you to keep down your
selfishness, but a greedy grasper tempts you
to put an extra button on your pocket.
Hungry dogs will wolf down any quantity
of meat, and then look out for more, and so
will greedy men swallow farms and houses,
and then smell around for something else.
I am sick of the animals : I mean both the
dogs and men. Talking of nothing but
gold, and how to make money, and how to
save it — why one had better live with the
hounds at once, and howl over your share
of dead horse. The mischief a miserly
wretch may do to a man's heart no tongue
can tell ; one might as well be bitten by a
mad dog, for greediness is as bad a madness
as a mortal can be tormented with. Keep
out of the company of screw-drivers, tight-
fists, hold-fasts, and blood-suckers : " beware
of dogs."

Fifthly, beware of a yelping dog. Those
who talk much tell a great many lies, and if
you love truth you had better not love them.

BEWARE OF THE DOG. 143

Those who talk much are likely enough to
speak ill of their neighbors, and of yourself
among the rest ; and therefore, if you do
not want to be town-talk, you will be wise
to find other friends. Mr. Prate-apace will
weary you out one day, and you will be
wise to break off his acquaintance before it
is made. Do not lodge in Clack Street,
nor next door to the Gossip's Head. A
lion's jaw is nothing compared to a tale-
bearer's. If you have a dog which is
always barking, and should chance to lose
him, don't spend a penny in advertising for
him. Few are the blessings which are
poured upon dogs which howl all night and
wake up honest householders, but even
these can be better put up with than those
incessant chatterers who never let a man's
character rest either day or night.

Sixthly, beware of a dog that ^vorr^es the
sheep. Such get into our churches, and cause
a world of misery. Some have new doc-
trines as rotten as they are new ; others
have new plans, whims, and crotchets, and
nothing will go right till these are tried ;
and there is a third sort, which are out of
love with eveiybody and everything, and

144 JOHN PLOUGHMAN^ S PICTURES.

only come into the churches to see if they
can make a row. Mark these, and keep
clear of them. There are plenty of humble
Christians who only want leave to be quiet
and mind their own business, and these
troubles are their plague. To hear the gos-
pel, and to be helped to do good, is all that
the most of our members want, but these
worries come in with their " ologies " and
puzzlements, and hard speeches, and cause
sorrow upon sorrow. A good shepherd
will soon fetch these dogs a crack of the
head ; but they will be at their work again
if they see half a chance. What pleasure
can they find in it? Surely they must
have a touch of the wolf in their nature.
At any rate, beware of the dog.

Seventhly, beware of dogs who have re-
turned to their vomit. An apostate is like
a leper. As a rule none are more bitter
enemies of the cross than those who once
professed to be followers of Jesus. He who
can turn away from Christ is not a fit com-
panion for any honest man. There are
many abroad nowadays who have thrown
off religion as easily as a ploughman puts
off his jacket. It will be a terrible day for

BEWARE OF THE DOG. 145

them when the heavens are on fire above
them, and the world is ablaze under their
feet. If a man calls himself my friend, and
leaves the ways of God, then his way and
mine are different ; he who is no friend to
the good cause is no friend of mine.

Lastly, finally, and to finish up, beware of
a dog that has no master. If a fellow makes
free with the Bible, and the laws of his
country, and common decency, it is time to
make free to tell him we had rather have
his room than his company. A certain set
of wonderfully wise men are talking very
big things, and putting their smutty fingers
upon everything which their fathers thought
to be good and holy. Poor fools, they are
not half as clever as they think they are.
Like hogs in a flower-garden, they are for
rooting up everything ; and some people
are so frightened that they stand as if they
were stuck, and hold up their hands in hor-
ror at the creatures. When the hogs have
been in my master's garden, and I have had
the big whip handy, I warrant you I have
made a clearance, and I only wish I was a
scholar, for I would lay about me among
these free-thinking gentry, and make them

10

146 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

squeal to a long metre tune. As John
Ploughman has other fish to fry, and other
tails to butter, he must leave these mis-
chievous creatures, and finish his rough
ramshackle sermon.

" Beware of the dog." Beware of all who
will do you harm. Good company is to be
had, why seek bad ? It is said of heaven,
" without are dogs." Let us make friends
of those who can go inside of heaven, for
there we hope to go ourselves. We shall
go to our own company when we die ; let
it be such that we shall be glad to go to it

LIKE CAT LIKE KIT.

MOST men are what their mothers
made them. The father is away
from home all day, and has not half the
influence over the children that the mother

(H7)

148 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

has. The cow has most to do with the
calf. If a ragged colt grows into a good
horse, we know who it is that combed
him. A mother is therefore a very re-
sponsible woman, even though she may be
the poorest in the land, for the bad or the
good of her boys and girls very much de-
pends upon her. As is the gardener such is
the garden, as is the wife such is the family.
Samuel's mother made him a little coat
every year, but she had done a deal for
him before that : Samuel would not have
been Samuel if Hannah had not been Han-
nah. We shall never see a better set of
men till the mothers are better. We must
have Sarahs and Rebekahs before we shall
see Isaacs and Jacobs. Grace does not
run in the blood, but we generally find
that the Timothies have mothers of a godly
sort.

Little children give their mother the
headache, but if she lets them have their
own way, when they grow up to be great
children they will give her the heartache.
Foolish fondness spoils many, and letting
faults alone spoils more. Gardens that are
never weeded will grow very little worth

LIKE CAT LIKE KIT. 149

gathering ; all watering and no hoeing will
make a bad crop. A child may have too
much of its mother's love, and in the long
run it may turn out that it had too little.
Soft-hearted mothers rear soft-headed chil-
dren ; they hurt them for life because they
are afraid of hurting them when they are
young. Coddle your children, and they
will turn out noodles. You may sugar a
child till everybody is sick of it. Boys'
jackets need a little dusting every now and
then, and girls' dresses are all the better
for occasional trimming. Children without
chastisement are fields without ploughing.
The very best colts want breaking in. Not
that we like severity ; cruel mothers are
not mothers, and those who are always
flogging and fault-finding ought to be
flogged themselves. There is reason in all
things, as the madman said when he cut off
his nose.

Good mothers are very dear to their
children. There's no mother in the world
like our own mother. My friend Sanders,
from Glasgow, says, " The mither's breath
is aye sweet." Every woman is a handsome
woman to her own son. That man is not

ISO JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

worth hanging who does not love his
mother. When good women lead their
little ones to the Saviour, the Lord Jesus
blesses not only the children, but their
mothers as well. Happy are they among
women who see their sons and their daugh-
ters walking in the truth.

He who thinks it easy to bring up a
family never had one of his own. A
mother who trains her children aright had
need be wiser than Solomon, for his son
turned out a fool. Some children are per-
verse from their infancy ; none are born per-
fect, but some have a double share of im-
perfections. Do what you will with some
children, they don't improve. Wash a dog,
comb a dog, still a dog is but a dog : trouble
seems thrown away on some children. Such
cases are meant to drive us to God, for he
can turn blackamoors white, and cleanse
out the leopard's spots. It is clear that
whatever faults our children have, we are
their parents, and we cannot find fault with
the stock they came of. Wild geese do not
lay tame eggs. That which is born of a hen
will be sure to scratch in the dust. The
child of a cat will hunt after mice. Every

LIKE CAT LIKE KIT. 151

creature follows its kind. If we are black,
we cannot blame our offspring if they are
dark too. Let us do our best with them,
and pray the Mighty Lord to put his hand
to the work. Children of prayer will grow
up to be children of praise ; mothers who
have wept before God for their sons, will
one day sing a new song over them. Some
colts often break the halter, and yet become
quiet in harness. God can make those new
whom we cannot mend, therefore let mothers
never despair of their children as long as
they live. Are they away from you across
the sea ? Remember, the Lord is there as
well as here. Prodigals may wander, but
they are never out of sight of the Great
Father, even though they may be " a great
way off/'

Let mothers labor to make home the
happiest place in the world. If they are al-
ways nagging and grumbling they will lose
their hold of their children, and the boys
will be tempted to spend their evenings
away from home. Home is the best place
for boys and men, and a good mother is the
soul of home. The smile of a mother's
face has enticed many into the right path,

152 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

and the fear of bringing a tear into her eye
has called off many a man from evil ways.
The boy may have a heart of iron, but his
mother can hold him like a magnet. The
devil never reckons a man to be lost so long
as he has a good mother alive. O woman,
great is thy power ! See to it that it be
used for him who thought of his mother
even in the agonies of death.

A HORSE WHICH CARRIES A HAL-
TER IS SOON CAUGHT.

WITH a few oats in a sieve the nag
is tempted, and the groom soon
catches him if he has his halter on ; but the
other horse, who has no rope dangling from

154 JOHN PLOUGHMAN1 S PICTURES.

his head, gives master Bob a sight of his
heels, and away he scampers. To my mind,
a man who drinks a glass or two, and goes
now and then to the tap-room, is a horse
with his bridle on, and stands a fair chance
of being locked up in Sir John Barleycorn's
stables, and made to carry Madame Drink
and her habit. There's nothing like coming
out fair and square, and standing free as the
air. Plenty will saddle you if they can
catch you ; don't give them the ghost of a
chance. A bird has not got away as long
as there is even a thread tied to its leg.

" I've taken the pledge and I will not falter ;
I'm out in the field and I carry no halter ;
I'm a lively nag that likes plenty of room,
So I'm not going down to the ' Horse and Groom.' "

In other concerns it is much the same :
you can't get out of a bad way without
leaving it altogether, bag and baggage.
Half-way will never pay. One thing or the
other : be an out-and-outer, or else keep in
altogether. Shut up the shop and quit the
trade if it is a bad one : to close the front
shutters and serve customers at the back
door is a silly attempt to cheat the devil,

THE HORSE WITHOUT A HALTER. 155

and it will never answer. Such hide-and-
seek behavior shows that your conscience
has just enough light for you to read your
own condemnation by it. Mind what you
are at, don't dodge like a rat.

I am always afraid of the tail end of a
habit. A man who is always in debt will
never be cured till he has paid the last six-
pence. When a clock says " tick " once, it
will say the same again unless it is quite
stopped. Harry Higgins says he only owes
for one week at the grocer's, and I am as
sure as quarter-day that he will be over
head and ears in debt before long. I tell
him to clean off the old score and have
done with it altogether. He says the trades-
people like to have him on their books,
but I am quite sure no man in his senses
dislikes ready money. I want him to give
up the credit system, for if he does not he
will need to outrun the constable.

Bad companions are to be left at once.
There's no use in shilly-shallying; they
must be told that we would sooner have
their room than their company, and if they
call again we must start them off with a flea
in each ear. Somehow I can't get young

156 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

fellows to come right out from the black
lot ; they think they can play with fire and
not be burned. Scripture says, " Ye fools,
when will ye be wise ? "

" April the first stands, mark'd by custom's rules,
A day for being, and for making, fools ;
But, pray, what'custom, or what rule, supplies
A day for making, or for being, wise ? "

Nobody wants to keep a little measles or
a slight degree of fever. We all want to
be quite quit of disease ; and so let us try
to be rid of every evil habit. What wrong
would it be right for us to stick to ? Don't
let us tempt the devil to tempt us. If we
give Satan an inch, he will take a mile. As
long as we carry his halter he counts us
among his nags. Off with the halter!
May the grace of God set us wholly free.
Does not Scripture say, " Come out from
among them, and be ye separate, and touch
not the unclean thing " ?

AN OLD FOX IS SHY OF A TRAP.

THE old fox knows the trap of old.
You don't catch him so easily as you
would a cub. He looks sharp at the sharp
teeth, and seems to say,

158 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

" Hello, my old chap,
I spy out your trap.
To-day, will you fetch me?
Or wait till you catch me ?

The cat asked the mice to supper, but
only the young ones would come to the
feast, and they never went home again.
" Will you walk into my parlor ? " said the
spider to the fly, and the silly creature did
walk in, and was soon as dead as a door-
nail.

What a many traps have been set for
some of us. Man-traps and woman-traps ;
traps to catch us by the eye, by the ear, by
the throat, and by the nose ; traps for the
head and traps for the heart ; day traps, and
night traps, and traps for any time you like.
The baits are of all sorts, alive and dead,
male and female, common and particular.
We had need be wiser than foxes, or we
shall soon hear the snap of the man-trap
and feel its teeth.

Beware of beginnings : he who does not
take the first wrong step will not take the
second. Beware of drops, for the fellows
who drink take nothing but a " drop of
beer," or " a drop too much." Drop your

BEWARE OF MAN-TRAPS. 159

drop of grog. Beware of him who says " Is
it not a little one ? " Little sins are the
eggs of great sorrows. Beware of lips
smeared with honey: see how many flies
are caught with sweets. Beware of evil
questions which raise needless doubts, and
make it hard for a man to trust his Maker.
Beware of a bad rich man who is very liberal
to you ; he will buy you first and sell you
afterwards. Beware of a dressy young
woman, without a mind or a heart ; you
may be in a net before you can say Jack
Robinson,

" Pretty fools are no ways rare :
Wise men will of such beware."

Beware of the stone which you stumbled
over the last time you went that way. Be-
ware of the man who never bewares, and
beware of the man whom God has marked.
Beware of writing your name on the back
of a bill, even though your friend tells you
ten times over " it is only a matter of form,
you know." It is a form which you had
better " formally decline," as our school-
master says. If you want to be chopped
up, put your hand to a bill ; but if you want

i6o JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

to be secure never stand as security for any
living man, woman, child, youth, maiden,
cousin, brother, uncle, or mother-in-law.
Beware of trusting all your secrets with any-
body but your wife. Beware of a man who
will lie, a woman who tells tales out of
school, a shop-keeper who sends in his bill
twice, and a gentleman who will make your
fortune if you will find him a few pounds.
Beware of a mule's hind foot, a dog's tooth,
and a woman's tongue. Last of all, beware
of no man more than of yourself, and take
heed in this matter many ways, especially
as to your talk. Five words cost Zacharias
forty weeks' silence. Many are sorry they
spoke, but few ever mourn that they held
their tongue.

" Who looks may leap, and save his shins from knocks ;
Who tries may trust, or foulest treachery find ;
He saves his steed who keeps him under locks ;
Who speaks with heed may boldly speak his mind.

But he whose tongue before his wit doth run,
Oft speaks too soon and grieves when he has done.
Full oft loose speech hath bound men fast in pain,
Beware of taking from thy tongue the rein."

A BLACK HEN LAYS A WHITE
EGG.

THE egg is white enough though the
hen is black as a coal. This is a
very simple thing, but it has pleased the

1 62 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

simple mind of John Ploughman, and made
him cheer up when things have gone hard
with him. Out of evil comes good, through
the great goodness of God. From threat-
ening clouds we get refreshing showers ;
in dark mines men find bright jewels : and
so from our worst troubles come our best
blessings. The bitter cold sweetens the
ground, and the rough winds fasten the roots
of the old oaks. God sends us letters of
love in envelopes with black borders.
Many a time have I plucked sweet fruit
from bramble bushes, and taken lovely roses
from among prickly thorns. Trouble is to
believing men and women like the sweet-
briar in our hedges, and where it grows
there is a delicious smell all around if the
dew do but fall upon it from above.

Cheer up, mates, all will come right in the
end. The darkest night will turn to a fair
morning in due time. Only let us trust in
God, and keep our heads above the waves
of fear. When our hearts are right with
God everything is right. Let us look for
the silver which lines every cloud, and when
we do not see it let us believe that it is
there. We are all at school, and our great

THE BLACK HEN LAYS A WHITE EGG. 163

Teacher writes many a bright lesson on the
black-board of affliction. Scant fare teaches
us to live on heavenly bread, sickness bids
us send off for the good Physician, loss of
friends makes Jesus more precious, and even
the sinking of our spirits brings us to live
more entirely upon God. All things are
working together for the good of those who
love God, and even death itself will bring
them their highest gain. Thus the black
hen lays a white egg.

" Since all that I meet shall work for my good,
The bitter is sweet, the medicine is food ;
Though painful at present 'twill cease before long,
And then, oh how pleasant the conqueror's song ! "

HE LOOKS ONE WAY AND PULLS
THE OTHER.

HE faces the shore, but he is pulling
for the ship : this is the way of those
who row in boats, and also of a great many
who never trust themselves on the water.
(164)

LOOKS ONE WAY, PULLS THE OTHER. 165

The boatman is all right, but the hypocrite
is all wrong, whatever rites he may practise.
I cannot endure Mr. Facing-both-ways, yet
he has swarms of cousins.

It is ill to be a saint without and a devil
within, to be a servant of Christ before the
world in order to serve the ends of self and
the devil, while inwardly the heart hates all
good things. There are good and bad of
all classes, and hypocrites can be found
among ploughmen as well as among par-
sons. It used to be so in the olden times, for
I remember an old verse which draws out
just such a character: the man says, —

" I'll have a religion all of my own,
Whether Papist or Protestant shall not be known ;
And if it proves troublesome I will have none."

In our Lord's day many followed him,
but it was only for the loaves and fishes :
they do say that some in our parish don't
go quite so straight as the Jews did, for
they go to the church for the loaves, and
then go over to the Baptist chapel for the
fishes. I don't want to judge, but I certainly
do know some who, if they do .not care

166 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

much for faith, are always following after
charity.

Better die than sell your soul to the
highest bidder. Better be shut up in the
workhouse than fatten upon hypocrisy.
Whatever else we barter, let us never try to
turn a penny by religion, for hypocrisy is
the meanest vice a man can come to.

It is a base thing to call yourself Christ's
horse and yet carry the devil's saddle.
The worst kind of wolf is that which wears
a sheep's skin. Jezebel was never so ugly
as when she had finished painting her face.
Above all things, then, brother loborers, let
us be straight as an arrow, and true as a die,
and never let us be time-servers, or turn-
coats. Never let us carry two faces under
one hat, nor blow hot and cold with the
same breath.

STICK TO IT AND DO IT.

SET a stout heart to a stiff hill, and the
wagon will get to the top of it.
There's nothing so hard but a harder thing
will get through it ; a strong job can be
managed by a strong resolution. Have at

(167)

168 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

it and have it. Stick to it and succeed.
Till a thing is done men wonder that you
think it can be done, and when you have
done it they wonder it was never done be-
fore.

In my picture the wagon is drawn by
two horses ; but I would have every man
who wants his way in life pull as if all de-
pended on himself. Very little is done
right when it is left to other people. The
more hands to do work the less there is
done. One man will carry two pails of
water for himself; two men will only carry
one pail between them, and three will come
home with never a drop at all. A child
with several mothers will die before it runs
alone. Know your business and give your
mind to it, and you will find a buttered loaf
where a sluggard loses his last crust.

In these times it's no use being a farmer
if you don't mean work. The days are gone
by for gentlemen to make a fortune off of
a farm by going out shooting half their time.
If foreign wheats keep on coming in, farmers
will soon learn that —

" He who by the plough would thrive,
Himself must either hold or drive."

STICK TO IT AND SUCCEED. 169

Going to Australia is of no use to a man if
he carries a set of lazy bones with him.
There's a living to be got in old England at
almost any trade if a fellow will give his
mind to it. A man who works hard and
has his health and strength is a great deal
happier than my lord Tom Noddy, who
does nothing and is always ailing. Do you
know the old song of " The Nobleman's
generous kindness" ? You should hear our
Will sing it. I recollect some of the verses.
The first one gives a picture of the hard-
working laborer with a large family —

" Thus careful and constant, each morning he went
Unto his day labor with joy and content ;
So jocular and jolly he'd whistle and sing,
As blithe and as brisk as the birds in the spring."

The other lines are the ploughman's own
story of how he spent his life, and I wish
that all countrymen could say the same.

" I reap and I mow, I harrow and I sow,
Sometimes a hedging and ditching I go ;
No work comes amiss, for I thrash and I plough,
Thus my bread I do earn by the sweat of my brow.

" My wife she is willing to pull in a yoke,
We live like two lambs, nor each other provoke ;

170 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

We both of us strive, like the laboring ant,
And do our endeavors to keep us from want.

" And when I come home from my labor at night,
To my wife and my children in whom 1 delight,
I see them come round me with prattling noise.
Now these are the riches a poor man enjoys.

" Though I am as weary as weary may be,
The youngest I commonly dance on my knee ;
I find in content a continual feast,
And never repine at my lot in the least."

So, you see, the poor laborer may work
hard and be happy all the same ; and surely
those who are in higher stations may do the
like if they like.

He is a sorry dog who wants game and
will not hunt for it : let us never lie down
in idle despair, but follow on till we succeed.

Rome was not built in a day, nor much
else, unless it be a dog-kennel. Things
which cost no pains are slender gains.
Where there has been little sweat there will
be little sweet. Jonah's gourd came up in
a night, but then it perished in a night.
Light come, light go : that which flies in at
one window will be likely to fly out at
another. It's a very lean hare that hounds
catch without running for it, and a sheep

STICK TO IT AND SUCCEED. 171

that is no trouble to shear has very little
wool. For this reason a man who cannot
push on against wind and weather stands a
poor chance in this world.

Perseverance is the main thing in life. To
hold on, and hold out to the end, is the
chief matter. If the race could be won by
a spurt, thousands would wear the blue
ribbon; but they are short-winded and pull
up after the first gallop. They begin with
flying, and end in crawling backwards.
When it comes to collar work, many horses
turn to jibbing. If the apples do not fall
at the first shake of the tree your hasty folks
are too lazy to fetch a ladder, and in too
much of a hurry to wait till the fruit is ripe
enough to fall of itself. The hasty man is
as hot as fire at the outset, and as cold as
ice at the end. He is like the Irishman's
saucepan, which had many good points
about it, but it had no bottom. He who can-
not bear the burden and heat of the day is
not worth his salt, much less his potatoes.

Before you begin a thing, make sure it is
the right thing to do : ask Mr. Conscience
about it. Do not try to do what is impossi-
ble : ask Common Sense. It is of no use

172 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

to blow against a hurricane, or to fish for
whales in a washing tub. Better give up a
foolish plan than go on and burn your fin-
gers with it : better bend your neck than"
knock your forehead. But when you have
once made up your mind to go a certain
road, don't let every molehill turn you out
of the path. One stroke fells not an oak.
Chop away, axe, you'll down with the tree
at last ! A bit of iron does not soften the
moment you put it into the fire. Blow, smith !
Put on more coals ! Get it red-hot and hit
hard with the hammer, and you will make
a ploughshare yet. Steady does it. Hold
on and you have it. Brag is a fine fellow
at crying " Tally-ho ! " but Perseverance
brings home the brush.

We ought not to be put out of heart
by difficulties : they are sent on purpose to
try the stuff we are made of; and depend
upon it they do us a world of good. There's
a sound reason why there are bones in our
meat and stones in our land. A world where
everything was easy would be a nursery for
babies, but not at all a fit place for men.
Celery is not sweet till it has felt a frost,
and men don't come to their perfection till

STICK TO IT AND SUCCEED. 173

disappointment has dropped a half-hundred
weight or two on their toes. Who would
know good horses if there were no heavy
loads ? If the clay was not stiff, my old
Dapper and Violet would be thought no
more of than Tomkins' donkey. Besides,
to work hard for success makes us fit to
bear it : we enjoy the bacon all the more
because we have got an appetite by earning
it. When prosperity pounces on a man like
an eagle, it often throws him down. If we
overtake the cart, it is a fine thing to get up
and ride ; but when it comes behind us at
a tearing rate, it is very apt to knock us down
and run over us, and when we are lifted into
it we find our leg is broken, or our arm
out of joint, and we cannot enjoy the ride.
Work is always healthier for us than idle-
ness ; it is always better to wear out shoes
than sheets. I sometimes think, when I put
on my considering cap, that success in life
is something like getting married : there's
a very great deal of pleasure in the courting,
and it is not a bad thing when it is a mod-
erate time on the road. Therefore, young
man, learn to wait, and work on. Don't
throw away your rod, the fish will bite some

174 JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

time or other. The cat watches long at the
hole, but catches the mouse at last. The
spider mends her broken web, and the flies
are taken before long. Stick to your call-
ing, plod on, and be content ; for, make sure,
if you can undergo you shall overcome.

If bad be your prospects, don't sit still and cry,
But jump up, and say to yourself, " I WILL TRY."

Miracles will never cease ! My neighbor,
Simon Gripper, was taken generous about
three months ago. The story is well worth
telling. He saw a poor blind man, led by
a little girl, playing on a fiddle. His heart
was touched, for a wonder. He said to me,
" Ploughman, lend me a penny, there's a
good fellow." I fumbled in my pocket,
and found two halfpence, and handed them
to him. More fool I, for he will never pay
me again. He gave the blind fiddler one of
those halfpence, and kept the other, and I
have not seen either Gripper or my penny
since, nor shall I get the money back till
the gate-post outside my garden grows Rib-
stone pippins. There's generosity for you !
The old saying which is put at the top of
this bit of my talk brought him into my

STICK TO IT AND SUCCEED. 175

mind, for he sticks to it most certainly : he
lives as badly as a church mouse, and
works as hard as if he was paid by the piece,
and had twenty children to keep : but I
would no more hold him up for an example
than I would show a toad as a specimen of
a pretty bird. While I talk to you young
people about getting on, I don't want you
to think that hoarding up money is real
success ; nor do I wish you to rise an inch
above an honest ploughman's lot, if it can-
not be done without being mean or wicked.
The workhouse, prison as it is, is a world
better than a mansion built by roguery and
greed. If you cannot get on honestly, be
satisfied not to get on. The blessing of God
is riches enough for a wise man, and all the
world is not enough for a fool. Old Gripper's
notion of how to prosper has, I dare say, a
good deal of truth in it, and the more's the
pity. The Lord deliver us from such a
prospering, I say. That old sinner has often
hummed these lines into my ears when we
have got into an argument, and very pretty
lines they are not, certainly : —

" To win the prize in the world's great race
A man should have a brazen face ;

176 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

An iron arm to give a stroke,
And a heart as sturdy as an oak;
Eyes like a cat, good in the dark,
And teeth as piercing as a shark ;
Ears to hear the gentlest sound,
Like moles that burrow in the ground;
A mouth as close as patent locks,
And stomach stronger than an ox ;
His tongue should be a razor-blade,
His conscience india-rubber made ;
His blood as cold as polar ice,
His hand as grasping as a vice.
His shoulders should be adequate
To bear a couple thousand weight ;
His legs, like pillars, firm and strong,
To move the great machine along ;
With supple knees to cringe and crawl,
And cloven feet placed under all."

It amounts to this : be a devil in order to
be happy. Sell yourself outright to the
old dragon, and he will give you the world
and the glory thereof. But remember the
question of the Old Book, " What shall it
profit a man, if he gain the whole world,
and lose his own soul ? " There is another
road to success besides this crooked, dirty,
cut-throat lane. It is the King's highway,
of which the same Book says : " Seek ye
first the kingdom of God, and his righteous-
ness ; and all these things shall be added

STICK TO IT AND SUCCEED. 177

unto you." John Ploughman prays that
all his readers may choose this way, and
keep to it ; yet even in that way we must
use diligence, " for the kingdom of heaven
suffereth violence, and the violent take it by
force."

12

DON'T PUT THE CART BEFORE
THE HORSE.

NOBODY will ever take that fellow to
be a Solomon. He has no more
sense than a sucking turkey ; his wit will
never kill him, but he may die for want
(178)

CART BEFORE THE HORSE. 179

of it. One would think that he does not
know which side of himself goes first, or
which end should be uppermost, for he is
putting the cart before the horse. However,
he is not the only fool in the world, for
nowadays you can't shake your coat out of
a window without dusting an idiot. You
have to ask yourself what will be the next
new piece of foolery.

Amusing blunders will happen. Down
at our chapel we only have evening meet-
ings on moonlight nights, for some of our
friends would never find their way home
down our Surrey lanes of a dark night. It
is a long lane that has no turning, but ours
have plenty of turnings, and are quite as
long as one likes them when it is pitch dark,
for the trees meet over your head and won't
let a star peep through. What did our old
clerk do the other Sunday but give notice
that there would be no moon next Wednes-
day night in consequence of there being
no service. He put the cart before the
horse that time. So it was with the young
parson, of very fine ideas, who tried to make
us poor clodhoppers see the wisdom of
Providence in making the great rivers run

i8o JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

near the large towns, while our village had
a small brook to suit the size of it. We
had a quiet laugh at the good man as we
walked home through the corn, and we
wondered why it never occurred to him that
the Thames was in its bed long before Lon-
don was up, and our tiny stream ran through
its winding ways long before a cottager
dipped his pail into it.

Dick Widgeon had a married daughter
who brought her husband as pretty a baby
as one might wish to see. When it was
born, a neighbor asked the old man whether
it was a boy or a girl. " Dear, dear," said
Dick, " here's a kettle of fish ! I'm either a
grandfather or a grandmother, and I'm sure
I don't know which." Dick says his mother
was an Irishman, but I do not believe it.

All this is fun, but some of this blundering
leads to mischief. Lazy fellows ruin their
trade, and then say that bad trade ruined
them.

Some fellows talk at random, as if they
lived in a world turned upside down, for
they always put things the wrong side up.
A serving-man lost his situation through
his drunken ways ; and, as he could get no

CART BEFORE THE HORSE. 181

character, he charged his old master with
being his ruin.

" Robert complained the other day
His master took his character away :
' I take your character,' said he, * no fear,
Not for a thousand pounds a year.' M

The man was his own downfall, and now he
blames those who speak the truth about
him. " He mistakes the effect for the cause,"
as our old schoolmaster says, and blames
the bucket for the faults of the well.

The other day a fellow said to me, " Don't
you think Jones is a lucky chap ? " " No/'
said I, " I think he is a hard-working man,
and gets on because he deserves it." " Ah,"
was the man's answer, " don't tell me ; he
has got a good trade, and a capital shop,
and a fair capital, and I don't wonder that
he makes money." Bless the man's heart ;
Jones began with nothing, in a little, poking
shop, and all he has was scraped together
by hard labor and careful saving. The shop
would never have kept him if he had not
kept the shop, and he would have had no
trade if he had not been a good tradesman ;
but there, it's no use talking, some people

182 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

will never allow that thrift and temperance
lead to thriving and comfort, for this would
condemn themselves. So to quiet their
consciences they put the cart before the
horse.

A very bad case of putting the cart before
the horse is when a drinking old man talks
as if he had been kept out of the grave by
his beer, though that is the thing which
carries people to their last home. He hap-
pens to have a strong constitution, and so
he can stand the effects of drink better than
most, and then folks say it was the drink
which gave him the constitution. When an
old soldier comes alive out of battle, do we
think that the shot and shell saved his life ?
When we meet with a man who is so strong
that he can be a great drinker and still seem
little the worse, we must not say that he
owes his strength to his beer, or we shall
be putting the plough before the oxen.

When a man thinks that he is to make
himself good before he comes to Jesus to be
saved, he is planting the fruit instead of the
root ; and putting the chimney pots where
the foundation should be. We do not save
ourselves and then trust the Saviour ; but

CART BEFORE THE HORSE. 183

when the Saviour has worked salvation in
us, then we work it out with fear and
trembling. Be sure, good reader, that you
put faith first, and works afterwards; for,
if not, you will put the cart before the horse.

A LEAKING TAP IS A GREAT
WASTER.

A LEAKING tap is a great waster.
£~\ Drop by drop, by day and by night,
the liquor runs away, and the housewife
(184)

THE LEAKING TAP. 185

wonders how so much can have gone.
This is the fashion in which many laboring
men are kept poor : they don't take care of
the pence, and so they have no pounds to put
in the bank. You cannot fill the rain-water
butt if you do not catch the drops. A six-
pence here, and a shilling there, and his
purse is empty before a man dares to look
in it. What with waste in the kitchen,
waste at table, and waste at the public-
house, fools and their money soon part to
meet no more. If the wife wastes too, there
are two holes in the barrel. Sometimes the
woman dresses in tawdry finery and gets in
debt to the tally-man ; and it is still worse
if she takes to the bottle. When the goose
drinks as deep as the gander, pots are soon
empty, and the cupboard is bare. Then
they talk about saving, like the man who
locked the stable door after his horse was
stolen. They will not save at the brim, but
promise themselves and the pigs that they
will do wonders when they get near the
bottom. It is well to follow the good old
rule : —

" Spend so as ye may
Spend for many a day."

186 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

He who eats all the loaf at breakfast may
whistle for his dinner, and get a dish of
empties. If we do not save while we have
it, we certainly shall not save after all is
gone. There is no grace in waste. Econ-
omy is a duty ; extravagance is a sin. The
old Book saith, " He that hasteth to be rich
shall not be innocent," and, depend upon it,
he that hasteth to be poor is in much the
same box. Stretch your legs according to
the length of your blanket, and never spend
all that you have :

" Put a little by ;
Things may go awry."

It will help to keep you from anxious
care, — which is sinful, if you take honest
care, — which is commendable. Lay up
when young, and you shall find when old ;
but do not this greedily or selfishly, or God
may send a curse on your store. Money
is not a comfort by itself, for they said in
the olden time —

'* They who have money are troubled about it,
And they who have none are troubled without it."

But though the dollar is not almighty, it

THE LEAKING TAP. 187

ought to be used for the Almighty, and not
wasted in wicked extravagance. Even a
dog will hide up a bone which he does not
want, and it is said of wolves that they
gnaw not the bones till the morrow; but
many of our working men are without thrift
or forethought, and, like children, they will
eat all the cake at once if they can. When
a frost comes they are poor frozen-out gar-
deners, and ask for charity, when they
ought to have laid up for a snowy day. I
wonder they are not ashamed of them-
selves. Those are three capital lines : —

" Earn all you can,
Save all you can,
Give all you can.'*

But our neighbor Scroggs acts on quite
a different rule-of-three, and tries three
other cans :

" Eat all you can,
Drink all you can,
Spend all you can."

He can do more of all these than is
canny ; it would be a good thing if he and
the beer-can were a good deal further
apart.

188 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

I don't want any person to become a
screw, or a hoarder, or a lover of money,
but I do wish our working men would
make better use of what they get. It is
little enough, I know; but some make it
less by squandering it. Solomon com-
mends the good woman who " considereth
a field and buyeth it : with the fruit of her
hands she planteth a vineyard ; " he also
tells the sluggard to go to the ant, and see
how she stores for the winter. I am told
that ants of this sort do not live in England,
and I am afraid they dont ; but my master
says he has seen them in France, and I
think it would be a good idea to bring over
the breed. My old friend Tusser says, —

" 111 husbandry drinketh
Himself out of door ;
Good Husbandry thinketh
Of friend and of poor."

The more of such good husbandry the
merrier for old England. You cannot burn
your faggots in autumn and then stack
them for the winter; if you want the calf to
become a cow, you must not be in a hurry
to eat neats' feet. Money once spent is

THE LEAKING TAP. 189

like shot fired from a gun, you can never
call it back. No matter how sorry you
may be, the goldfinches are out of the cage,
and they will not fly back for all your cry-
ing. If a fellow gets into debt it is worse
still, for that is a ditch in which many find
mud, but none catch fish. When all his
sugar is gone, a man's friends are not often
very sweet upon him. People who have
nothing are very apt to be thought worth
nothing : mind, / don't say so, but a good
many do. Wrinkled purses make wrinkled
faces. It has been said that they laugh
most who have least to lose, and it may be
so ; but I am afraid that some of them laugh
on the wrong side of their faces. Foolish
spending buys a pennyworth of merry-mak-
ing, but it costs many a pound of sorrow.-
The profligate sells his cow to buy a
canary, and boils down a bullock to get
half-a-pint of bad soup, and that he throws
away as soon as he has tasted it. I should
not care to spend all my living to buy a
mouldy repentance, yet this is what many
a prodigal has done, and many more will
do.

My friend, keep money in thy purse : " It

190 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

is one of Solomon's proverbs/' said one;
another answered that it was not there.
" Then," said Kit Lancaster, " it might have
been, and if Solomon had ever known the
miss of a shilling he would have said it
seven times over." I think that he does
say as much as this in substance, if not in
so many words, especially when he talks
about the ant ; but be that how it may, be
sure of this, that a pound in the pocket is
as good as a friend at court, and rather
better ; and if ever you live to want what
you once wasted, it will fill you with woe
enough to last you to your grave. He
who put a pound of butter on a gridiron,
not only lost his butter, but made such a
blaze as he won't soon forget : foolish
*lavishness leads to dreadful wickedness, so
John Ploughman begs all his mates to fight
shy of it, and post off to the Post Office
Savings' Bank.

" For age and want save while you may ;
No morning's sun lasts all the day."

Money is not the chief thing, it is as far
below the grace of God and faith in Christ
as a ploughed field is below the stars ; but

THE LEAKING TAP. 191

still, godliness hath the promise of the life
that now is as well as of that which is to
come, and he who is wise enough to seek
first the kingdom of God and his righteous-
ness, should also be wise enough to use
aright the other things which God is
pleased to add unto him.

Somewhere or other I met with a set of
mottoes about gold, which I copied out,
and here they are : I don't know who first
pricked them down, but like a great many
of the things which are stuck together in
my books, I found them here and there,
and they are none of mine : at least, I can-
not claim the freehold, but have them on
copyhold, which is a fair tenure. If the
owners of these odds and ends will call for
them at the house where this book is pub-
lished they may have them on paying a
shilling for the paper they are done up in.

MOTTOES ABOUT GOLD.
A vain man's motto is " Win gold and wear it."

A generous man's motto is..

A miserly man's motto is. ..

A profligate man's motto is.

A banker's motto is . .

A gambler's motto is.

A wise man's motto is

Win gold and share it."
Win gold and spare it."
Win gold and spend it."
Win gold and lend it."
Win gold or lose it."
Win gold and use it."

FOOLS SET STOOLS FOR WISE
MEN TO STUMBLE OVER.

THIS is what they call " a lark." Fools
set stools for wise men to stumble
over. To ask questions is as easy as kissing
your hand ; to answer them is hard as fat-
(192)

FOOLS SET STOOLS FOR WISE MEN. 193

tening a greyhound. Any fool can throw
a stone into a deep well, and the cleverest
man in the parish may never be able to get
it up again. Folly grows in all countries,
and fools are all the world over, as he said
who shod the goose. Silly people are
pleased with their own nonsense, and think
it rare fun to quiz their betters. To catch a
wise man tripping is as good as bowling a
fellow out at a cricket-match.

" Folly is wise in her own eyes,
Therefore she tries Wit to surprise.'*

There are difficulties in everything ex-
cept in eating pancakes, and nobody ought
to be expected to untie all the knots in a
net, or to make that straight which God
has made crooked. He is the greatest fool
of all who pretends to explain everything,
and says he will not believe what he cannot
understand. There are bones in the meat,
but am I to go hungry till I can eat them ?
Must I never enjoy a cherry till I find one
without a stone ? John Ploughman is not
of that mind. He is under no call to doubt,
for he is not a doctor : when people try to
puzzle him he tells them that those who
'3

194 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

made the lock had better make the key, and
those who put the cow in the pound had
better get her out. Then they get cross,
and John only says — You need not be
crusty, for you are none too much baked.

After all, what do we know if all our
knowing was put together? It would all
go in a thimble, and the girl's finger, too.
A very small book would hold most men's
learning, and every line would have a mis-
take in it. Why, then, should we spend our
lives in perplexity, tumbling about like pigs
in a sack, and wondering how we shall ever
get out again ? John knows enough to know
that he does not know enough to explain
all that he knows, and so he leaves the
stools to the schools and the other — ools.

A MAN IN A PASSION RIDES A

HORSE THAT RUNS AWAY

WITH HIM.

WHEN passion has run away with a
man, who knows where it will
carry him ? Once let a rider lose power

(195)

196 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

over his horse, and he may go over hedge
and ditch, and end with a tumble into the
stone-quarry and a broken neck. No one
can tell in cold blood what he may do when
he gets angry ; therefore it is best to run
no risks. Those who feel their temper ris-
ing will be wise if they rise themselves and
walk off to the pump. Let them fill their
mouths with cold water, hold it there ten
minutes at the least, and then go indoors,
and keep there till they feel cool as a cu-
cumber. If you carry loose gunpowder in
your pocket, you had better not go where
sparks are flying ; and if you are bothered
with an irritable nature, you should move
off when folks begin teasing you. Better
keep out of a quarrel than fight your way
through it.

Nothing is improved by anger unless it
be the arch of a cat's back. A man with
his back up is spoiling his figure. People
look none the handsomer for being red in
the face. It takes a great deal out of a
man to get into a towering rage ; it is al-
most as unhealthy as having a fit, and time
has been when men have actually choked
themselves with passion, and died on the

A MAN IN A PASSION. 197

spot. Whatever wrong I suffer, it cannot
do me half so much hurt as being angry
about it ; for passion shortens life and poi-
sons peace.

When once we give way to temper, tem-
per will claim a right of way, and come in
easier every time. He that will be in a pet
for any little thing will soon be out at
elbows about nothing at all. A thunder-
storm curdles the milk, and so does a pas-
sion sour the heart and spoil the character.

He who is in a tantrum shuts his
eyes and opens his mouth, and very
soon says what he will be sorry for.
Better bite your lips now than smart for
life. It is easier to keep a bull out of a
china shop than it is to get him out again;
and, besides, there's no end of a bill to pay
for damages.

A man burning with anger carries a mur-
derer inside his waistcoat; the sooner he
can cool down the better for himself and all
around him. He will have to give an ac-
count for his feelings as well as for his
words and actions, and that account will
cost him many tears. It is a cruel thing to
tease quick-tempered people, for, though it
may be sport to you, it is death to them ;

198 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

at least, it is death to their peace, and may
be something worse. We know who said,
4f Woe to that man by whom the offence
cometh."

Shun a furious man as you would a mad
dog, but do it kindly, or you may make him
worse than he would be. Don't put a man
out when you know he is out with himself.
When his monkey is up be very careful, for
he means mischief. A surly soul is sure to
quarrel ; he says the cat will break his heart^
and the coal scuttle will be the death of him.

" A man in a rage
Needs a great iron cage.
He'll tear and he'll dash
Till he comes to a smash ;
So let's out of his way
As quick as we may."

As we quietly move off let us pray for
the angry person ; for a man in a thorough
passion is as sad a sight as to see a neigh-
bor's house on fire and no water handy to
put out the flames.

Let us wish the fellow on the runaway
horse a soft ditch to tumble in, and sense
enough never to get on the creature's back
again.

WHERE THE PLOUGH SHALL FAIL

TO GO,
THERE THE WEEDS WILL SURELY

GROW.

IN my young days farmers used to leave
broad headlands; and, as there were

(i99)

200 JOHN PLOUGHMAN* S PICTURES.

plenty of good-for-nothing hedges and
ditches, they raised a prime crop of weeds,
and these used to sow the farm, and give a
heap of trouble. Then Farmer Numskull
" never could make out nohow where all
they there weeds could 'a come from." In
those good old times, as stupids call them,
old Tusser said :

" Slack never thy weeding for dear or for cheap,
The corn shall reward it when harvest ye reap."

He liked to see weeding done just after
rain : no bad judge either. He said,

" Then after a shower, to weeding a snatch,
'Tis more easy then the root to despatch."

Weeding is wanted now, for ill weeds
grow apace, and the hoe must always go ;
but still lands are a fine sight cleaner
than they used to be, for now farmers go
a deal closer to work, and grub up the
hedges, and make large fields, to save
every bit of land. Quite right, too. The
less there is wasted the more there is
for us all.

To clothe the fields with plenty and all our barns endow,
We'll turn up every corner and drive the useful plough.

NO PLOUGH, MANY WEEDS. 201

No weed shall haunt the furrow, before us all shall bow,
We'll gaily yield our labor to guide the useful plough.

It would be well to do the same thing in
other concerns. Depend upon it, weeds
will come wherever you give them half a
chance. When children have no school to
go to they will pretty soon be up to mis-
chief; and if they are not taught the gos-
pel, the old enemy will soon teach them to
thieve, and lie, and swear. You can tell
with your eyes shut where there's a school
and where there's none : only use your ears
and hear the young ones talk.

So far goes the plough, and where that
leaves off the docks and the thistles begin,
as sure as dirt comes where there's no wash-
ing, and mice where there are no cats. They
tell me that in London and other big
towns vice and crime are sure to spread
where there are no ragged schools and Sun-
day schools ; and I don't wonder. I hope
the day will never come when good people
will give up teaching the boys and girls.
Keep that plough going, say I, till you have
cut up all the charlock. Don't leave a rod
of ground for the devil to sow his tares in.
In my young time few people in our parish

202 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

could either read or write, and what were
they to do but gossip, and drink and fight,
and play old gooseberry ? Now that teach-
ing is to be had, people will all be scholars,
and, as they can buy a Testament for a
penny, I hope they will search the Script-
ures, and may God bless the word to the
cleansing of their souls. When the school-
master gets to his work in downright
earnest, I hope and trust there will be a
wonderful clearance of the weeds.

The best plough in all the world is the
preaching of the gospel. Leave a village
without Christ crucified, and it soon be-
comes a great tangle of thorn, and briar,
and brake, and bramble ; but when sound
and sensible preaching comes, it tears all
up like a steam plough, and the change
is something to sing about. "The desert
shall rejoice and blossom as the rose."

Inside a man's heart there is need of a
thorough ploughing by God's grace, for
if any part of our nature is left to itself,
the weeds of sin will smother the soul.
Every day we have need to be looked
after, for follies grow in no time, and come
to a great head before you can count twenty.
God speed the plough.

ALL IS LOST THAT IS POURED
INTO A CRACKED DISH.

COOK is wasting her precious liquor, for
it runs out almost as fast as it runs in.
The sooner she stops that game the better.
This makes me think of a good deal of

(203)

204 JOHN PLOUGHMAN^ S PICTURES.

preaching; it is labor in vain, because it
does not stay in the minds of the hearers,
but goes in at one ear and out at the other.
When men go to market they are all alive
to do a trade, but in a place of worship they
are not more than half awake, and do not
seem to care whether they profit or not by
what they hear. I once heard a preacher
say, " Half of you are asleep, half are in-
attentive, and the rest ." He never

finished that sentence, for the people began
to smile, and here and there one burst out
laughing. Certainly, many only go to
meeting to stare about.

" Attend your church, the parson cries,

To church each fair one goes ;
The old ones go to close their eyes,
The young to eye their clothes.'*

You might as well preach to the stone
images in the old church as to people who
are asleep. Some old fellows come into
our meeting, pitch into their corner, and
settle themselves down for a quiet snooze
as knowingly as if the pew was a sleeping-
car on the railway. Still, all the sleeping
at service is not the fault of the poor people,

THE CRACKED DISH. 205

for some parsons put a lot of sleeping stuff
into their sermons. Will Shepherd says
they mesmerize the people. (I think that
is the right word, but I'm not sure.) I saw
a verse in a real live book by Mr. Cheales,
the vicar of Brockham, a place which is
handy to my home. I'll give it you.

" The ladies praise our curate's eyes,
I never see their light divine,
For when he prays he closes them,
And when he preaches closes mine."

Well, if curates are heavy in style, the peo-
ple will soon be heavy in sleep. Even when
hearers are awake many of them are for-
getful. It is like pouring a jug of ale be-
tween the bars of a gridiron, to try and
teach them good doctrine. Water on a
duck's back does have some effect, but ser-
mons by the hundred are as much lost upon
many men's hearts as if they had been
spoken to a kennel of hounds. Preaching
to some fellows is like whipping the water
or lashing the air. As well talk to a tur-
nip, or whistle to a dead donkey, as preach
to these dull ears. A year's sermons will
not produce an hour's repentance till the
grace of God comes in.

206 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

We have a good many hangers on who
think that their duty to God consists in hear-
ing sermons, and that the best fruit of their
hearing is to talk of what they have heard.
How they do lay the law down when they
get argifying about doctrines ! Their relig-
ion all runs to ear and tongue : neither their
heart nor their hand is a scrap the better.
This is poor work, and will never pay the
piper. The sermon which only gets as far
as the ear is like a dinner eaten in a dream.
It is ill to lie soaking in the gospel like a
bit of coal in a milk-pan, never the whiter
for it all.

What can be the good of being hearers
only ? It disappoints the poor preacher,
and it brings no blessing to the man him-
self. Looking at a plum won't sweeten
your mouth, staring at a coat won't cover
your back, and lying on the bank won't
catch the fish in the river. The cracked
dish is never the better for all that is poured
into it: it is like our forgetful heart, it
wants to be taken away, and a new one put
instead of it.

GRASP ALL AND LOSE ALL.

WHILE so many poor neighbors are
around us it is a sin to hoard. If
we do we shall be losers, for rats eat corn,
rust cankers metal, and the curse of God

(207)

208 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

spoils riches. A tight fist is apt to get the
rheumatism, an open hand bears the palm.
It is good to give a part to sweeten the rest.
A great stack of hay is apt to heat and take
fire ; cut a piece out and let the air in, and
the rest will be safe. What say you, Mr.
Reader, to cut a few pounds out of your
heap, and send them to help feed the or- y
phans

SCATTER AND INCREASE.

"PEOPLE will not believe it, and yet it is
X true as the gospel, that giving leads
to thriving. John Bunyan said,

" There was a man, and some did count him mad,
The more he gave away, the more he had."
14 ^209)

2io JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

He had an old saying to back him, one
which is as old as the hills, and as good as
gold—

" Give and spend
And God will send."

If a man cannot pay his debts he must
not think of giving, for he has nothing of
his own, and it is thieving to give away
other people's property. Be just before
you are generous. Don't give to Peter what
is due to Paul. They used to say that
" Give " is dead, and " Restore " is buried,
but I do not believe it any more than I do
another saying, " There are only two good
men, one is dead, and the other is not born."
No, no: there are many free hearts yet
about, and John Ploughman knows a good-
ish few of them — people who don't cry,
" Go next door," but who say, " Here's a
little help, and we wish we could make it
ten times as much." God has often a great
share in a small house, and many a little
man has a large heart.

Now, you will find that liberal people are
happy people, and get more enjoyment out
of what they have than folks of a churlish
mind. Misers never rest till they are put

SCATTER AND INCREASE. 21 1

to bed with a shovel : they often get so
wretched that they would hang themselves
only they grudge the expense of a rope.
Generous souls are made happy by the hap-
piness of others : the money they give to
the poor buys them more pleasure than any
other that they lay out.

I have seen men of means give coppers,
and they have been coppery in everything.
They carried on a tin-pot business, lived like
beggars, and died like dogs. I have seen
others give to the poor and to the cause of
God by shovelfuls and they have had it
back by barrow-loads. They made good
use of their stewardship, and the great Lord
has trusted them with more, while the bells
in their hearts have rung out merry peals
when they have thought of widows who
blessed them, and orphan children who
smiled into their faces. Ah me, that there
should be creatures in the shape of men
whose souls are of no use except as salt to
keep their bodies from rotting ! Please let
us forget them, for it makes me feel right
down sick to think of their nasty ways.
Let us see what we can do to scatter joy all
around us, just as the sun throws his light

212 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

on hill and dale. He that gives God his
heart will not deny him his money. He
will take a pleasure in giving, but he will
not wish to be seen, nor will he expect to
have a pound of honor for sixpence. He
will look out for worthy objects ; for giving
to lazy, drunken spendthrifts is wasteful and
wicked ; you might as well sugar a brickbat
and think to turn it into a pudding. A
wise man will go to work in a sensible way,
and will so give his money to the poor that
he will be lending it to the Lord. No se-
curity can be better and no interest can be
surer. The Bank is open at all hours. It
is the best Savings' Bank in the nation.
There is an office open at the Boys' and
Girls' Orphanage, Stockwell, London. Draw
your cheques or send your orders to C. H.
Spurgeon. There will soon be five hun-
dred mouths to fill and backs to cover.
Take shares in this company. John Plough-
man wishes he could do more for it.

EVERY BIRD LIKES ITS OWN
NEST.

IT pleases me to see how fond the birds
are of their little homes. No doubt
each one thinks his own nest is the very best ;

(213)

214 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

and so it is for him, just as my home is the
best palace for me, even for me King John,
the king of the Cottage of Content. I will
ask no more if providence only continues
to give me —

" A little field well tilled,
A little house well filled,
And a little wife well willed."

An Englishman's house is his castle, and
the true Briton is always fond of the old
roof-tree. Green grows the house-leek on
the thatch, and sweet is the honey-suckle
at the porch, and dear are the gilly-flowers
in the front garden ; but best of all is the
good wife within, who keeps all as neat as
a new pin. Frenchmen may live in their
coffee-houses, but an Englishman's best life
is seen at home.

" My own house, though small,
Is the best house of all."

When boys get tired of eating tarts, and
maids have done with winning hearts, and
lawyers cease to take their fees, and leaves
leave off to grow on trees, then will John
Ploughman cease to love his own dear home.
John likes to hear some sweet voice sing —

EVERY BIRD LIKES ITS OWN NEST. 215

" 'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home;
A charm from the sky seems to hallow us there,
Which, wherever we rove, is not met with elsewhere.

Home ! Home ! sweet, sweet home !
There's no place like home ! "

People who take no pleasure in their own
home • are queer folks, and no better than
they should be. Every dog is a lion at his
own door, and a man should make most of
those who make most of him. Women
should be house-keepers and keep in the
house. That man is to be pitied who has
married one of the Miss Gadabouts. Mrs.
Cackle and her friend Mrs. Dressemout are
enough to drive their husbands into the
county jail for shelter: there can be no
peace where such a piece of goods as either
of them is to be found. Old Tusser said —

" 111 huswifery pricketh
Herself up with pride :
Good huswifery tricketh
Her house as a bride.

" 111 huswifery moveth
With gossip to spend :
Good huswifery loveth
Her household to tend."

216 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.

The woman whose husband wastes his
evenings with low fellows at the beer-shop
is as badly off as a slave ; and when the
Act of Parliament shuts up most of these
ruin-houses, it will be an Act of Emanci-
pation for her. Good husbands cannot have
too much of their homes, and if their wives
make their homes comfortable they will
soon grow proud of them. When good
fathers get among their children they are
as merry as mice in malt. Our Joe Scroggs
says he's tired of his house, and the house
certainly looks tired of him, for it is all out
of windows, and would get out of doors if
it knew how. He will never be weary in
well doing, for he never began. What a
different fellow he would be if he could be-
lieve that the best side of the world is a
man's own fireside. I know it is so, and so
do many more.

" Seek home for rest,
For home is best."

What can it be that so deludes lots of
people who ought to know better ? They
have sweet wives, and nice families, and
comfortable houses, and they are several

EVERY BIRD LIKES ITS OWN NEST. 217

cuts above us poor country bumpkins, and
yet they must be out of an evening. What
is it for ? Surely it can't be the company ;
for the society of the woman you love, who
is the mother of your children, is worth all
the companies that ever met together. I
fear they are away soaking their clay, and
washing all their wits away. If so, it is a
great shame, and those who are guilty of it
ought to be trounced. O that drink ! that
drink !

Dear, dear, what stuff people will pour
into their insides ! Even if I had to be
poisoned I should like to know what I was
swallowing. A cup of tea at home does
people a sight more good than all the mix-
tures you get abroad. There's nothing like
the best home-brewed, and there's no better
mash-tub for making it in than the old-fash-
ioned earthenware teapot. Our little chil-
dren sing, " Please, father, come home,"
and John Ploughman joins with thousands
of little children in that simple prayer which
every man who is a man should be glad to
answer. I like to see husband and wife
longing to see each other.

2i8 JOHN PLOUGHMAWS PICTURES.

" An ear that waits to catch,

A hand upon the latch ;
A step that hastens its sweet rest to win ;
A world of care without,
A world of strife shut out,
A world of love shut in."

Fellow workmen, try to let it be so with
you and your wives. Come home, and
bring your wages with you, and make your-
selves happy by making everyone happy
around you.

My printer jogs my elbow, and says,
" That will do : I can't get any more in."
Then, Mr. Passmore, I must pass over
many things, but I cannot leave off without
praising God for his goodness to me and
mine, and all my brother ploughmen, for it
is of his great mercy that he lets us live in
this dear old country and loads us with so
many benefits.

This bit of poetry shall be my finish : I
mean every word of it. Let us sing it
together.

* What pleasant groves, what goodly fields !

What fruitful hills and vales have we !
How sweet an air our climate yields !
How blest with flocks and herds we be !

EVERY BIRD LIKES ITS OWN NEST. 219

How milk and honey doth overflow !

How clear and wholesome are our springs !
How safe from ravenous beasts we go !

And, oh, how free from poisonous things!

" For these, and for our grass, our corn ;

For all that springs from blade or bough ;
For all those blessings that adorn,

Both wood and field, this kingdom through;
For all of these, thy praise we sing ;

And humbly, Lord, entreat thee too,
That fruit to thee we forth may bring,

As unto us thy creatures do."

THE END

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

PHILADELPHIA. PA.

STEPHEN. A SOLDIER OF THE CROSS, by Florence
Morse Kingsley, author of " Titus, a Comrade of the
Cross." " Since Ben-Hur no story has so vividly por-
trayed the times of Christ." — The Bookseller. Cloth,
i2mo., 369 pages. $1.25.

PAUL. A HERALD OF THE CROSS, by Florence
Morse Kingsley. "A vivid and picturesque narrative of
the life and times of the great Apostle." Cloth, orna-
mental, i2mo., 450 pages, $1.50

VIC. THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FOX TER-
RIER, by Marie More Marsh. "A fitting companion
to that other wonderful book, ' Black Beauty.' " Cloth,
i2mo., 50 cents.

WOMAN'S WORK IN THE HOME, by Archdeacon
Farrar. Cloth, small i8mo., 50 cents.

THE APOCRYPHAL BOOKS OF THE NEW TESTA-
MENT, being the gospels and epistles used by the fol-
lowers of Christ in the first threii centuries after his
death, and rejected by the Council of Nice, A. D. 325.
Cloth, 8vo., illustrated, $2.00.

THE PILGRIM'S PROGRESS, as John Bunyan wrote
it. A fac-simile reproduction of the first edition, pub-
lished in 1678. Antique cloth, iamo., $1.25.

THE FAIREST OF THE FAIR, by Hildegarde Haw-
thorne. " The grand-daughter of Nathaniel Hawthorne
possesses a full share of his wonderful genius." Cloth,
i6mo., $1.25

A LOVER IN HOMESPUN, by F. Clifford Smith.
Interesting tales of adventure and home life in Canada.
Cloth. 121110., 75 cents.

ANNIE BESANT: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY. Cloth,
i2mo., 36-8 pages, illustrated. $2.00.

THE GRAMMAR OF PALMISTRY, by Katharine St.
Hill. Cloth, i2mo., illustrated, 75 cents.

AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHTY MINUTES.
Contains over 100 photographs of the most famous
places and edifices with descriptive text. Cloth, 50
cents.

WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW. A woman's book
about women. by Mrs. E. B. Duffy. Cloth, 3.0
pages, 75 cents.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

THE CARE OF CHILDREN, by Elisabeth R. Scovil.
" An excellent book of the most vital interest." Cloth,
i2mo., $1.00.

PREPARATION FOR MOTHERHOOD, by Elisabeth
R. Scovil. Cloth, i2mo., 320 pages, $1.00.

ALTEMUS' CONVERSATION DICTIONARIES. Ene-
lish-German, English-French. " Combined dictionaries
and phrase books." Pocket size, each $1.00.

TAINE'S ENGLISH LITERATURE, translated from
the French by Henry Van Laun, illustrated with 20
fine photogravure portraits. Best English library
edition, four volumes, cloth, full gilt, octavo, per set,
$10.00. Half calf, per set, $12.50. Cheaper edition,
with frontispiece illustrations only, cloth, paper titles,
per set $7.50.

SHAKESPEARE'S COMPLETE WORKS, with a bio-
graphical sketch by Mary Cowden Clark, embellished
with 64 Boydell,and numerous other illustrations, four
volumes, over 2000 pages. Half Morocco, 12010.,
boxed, per set, $3.00.

DORE'S MASTERPIECES

THE DORE BIBLE GALLERY. A complete panorama
of Bible History, containing 100 full -page engravings
by Gustave Dore.

MILTON'S PARADISE LOST, with 50 full page engrav-
ings by Gustave Dore.

DANTE'S INFERNO, with 75 full page engravings by Gus-
tave Dore.

DANTE'S PURGATORY AND PARADISE, with 60
full page engravings by Gustave Dore.

Cloth, ornamental, largequarto (9 x 12 inches;, each $2.00.

TENNYSON'S IDYLLS OF THE KING, with 37full page

engravings by Gustave l>ore Cloth, full gilt, large
imperial quarto (n x 14^ inches), $4.50.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER, by Sam-
uel Taylor Coleridge, with 46 full page engravings by
Gustave Dore. Cloth, full gilt, large imperial quarto
(n x T.4,l/2 inches), $3.00.

BUNYAN'S PILGRIM'S PROGRESS, with 100 engrav-
ings by Frederick Barnard and others. Cloth, small
quarto (9 x 10 inches), $1.00.

DICKENS' CHILD'S HISTORY OF ENGLAND,

with 75 fine engravings by famous artists. Cloth,
small quarto, boxed (9 x 10 inches), $1.00.

BIBLE PICTURES AND STORIES, xoofull page engrav-
ings. Uloth, small quarto (7x9 inches), $1.00.

MY ODD LITTLE FOLK, some rhymes and verses
about them, by Malcolm Douglass. Numerous original
engravings. Cloth, small quarto (7x9), $1.00.

PAUL AND VIRGINIA, by Bernardin St. Pierre, with 125
engravings by Maurice Leloir. Cloth, small quarto
(gx 10), $1.00.

LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF ROBINSON CRU-
SOE, with 120 original engravings by Walter Paget.
Cloth, octavo (7^2 *9K)» $1.50.

ALTEMUS' ILLUSTRATED LIBRARY OF
STANDARD AUTHORS.

Cloth, Twelve Mo. Size, 5^ x 7^ Inches. Each $1.00.

TALES FROM SHAKESPEARE, by Charles and Mary
Lamb, with 155 illustrations by famous artists.

PAUL AND VIRGINIA, by Bernardin de St. Pierre, with
125 engravings by Maurice Leloir.

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, AND
THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND
WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE, by Lewis
Carroll. Complete in one volume with 92 engravings
by John Tenniel.

LUCILE, by Owen Meredith, with numerous illustrations by
George J 'u Maurier.

BLACK BEAUTY, by Anna Sewell, with nearly 50 original
engravings.

SCARLET LETTER, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, with numer-
ous original lull-page and text illustrations.

THE HOUSE OF THE SEVEN GABLES, by Nathaniel
Haw thorne, w.uh numerous original full-page and text

BATTLES OF" THE WAR FOR INDEPENDENCE,

by Prescott Holmes, with 7 > illustrations.

BATTLES OF THE WAR FOR THE UNION, by
Prescott Holmes, with 80 illustrations.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

ALTEMUS' YOUNG PEOPLES' LIBRARY

PRICE FIFTY CENTS EACH.

ROBINSON CRUSOE: (Chiefly in words of one syllable).
His life and strange, surprising adventures, with 70
beautiful illustrations by Walter Paget.

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, with
42 illustrations by John Tenniel. " The most delightful
of children's stories. Elegant and delicious nonsense."
— Saturday Review.

THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND WHAT
ALICE FOUND THERE; a companion to " Alice
in Wonderland," with 50 illustrations by John Tenniel.

BUNYAN'S PILGRIM'S PROGRESS, with 50 full page
and text illustrations.

A CHILD'S STORY OF THE BIBLE, with 72 full page
illustrations.

A CHILD'S LIFE OF CHRIST, with 49 illustrations.
God has implanted in the infant heart a desire to hear
of Jesus, and children are early attracted and sweetly
riveted by the wonderful Story of the Master from the
Manger to the Throne.

SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON, with 50 illustrations. The
father of the family tells the tale of the vicissitudes
through which he and his wife and children pass, the
wonderful discoveries made and dangers encountered.
The book is full of interest and instruction.

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS AND THE DISCOV-
ERY OF AMERICA, with 70 illustrations. Every
American boy and girl should be acquainted with the
story of the life of the great discoverer, with its strug-
gles, adventures^nd trials.

THE STORY OF EXPLORATION AND DISCOVERY
IN AFRICA, with 80 illustrations Records the ex-
periences of adventures and discoveries in developing
tne " Dark Continent," from the early days of Bruce
and Mungo Park down to Livingstone and Stanley,
and the IK roes of cur own times. No present can be
more acceptable than such a volume as this, where
courage, intrepidity, resource, and devotion are so
admirably mingled.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

Altemus' Young Peoples' Library — continued.

THE FABLES OF -/ESpP. Compiled from the best
accepted sources. With 62 illustrations. The fables of
./Esop are among the very earliest compositions of this
kind, and probably have never been surpassed for point
and brevity.

GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Adapted for young readers.
With 50 illustrations.

MOTHER GOOSE'S RHYMES, JINGLES AND
FAIRY TALES, with 234 illustrations.

LIVES OF THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED
STATES, by Prescott Holmes. With portraits of
the Presidents and also of the unsuccessful candidates
for the office ; as well as the ablest of the Cabinet offi-
cers. It is just the book for intelligent boys, and it
will help to make them intelligent and patriotic citizens.

THE STORY OF ADVENTURE IN THE FROZEN
SEAS, with 70 illustrations. By Prescott Holmes.
We have here brought together the records of the
attempts to reach the North Pole. The book shows
how much can be accomplished by steady perseverance
and indomitable pluck.

ILLUSTRATED NATURAL HISTORY, by the Rev. J.

G. Wood, with 80 illustrations. This author has done
more to popularize the study of natural history than
any other writer. The illustrations are striking and
life-like.

A CHILD'S HISTORY OF ENGLAND, by Charles
Dickens, with 50 illustrations. Tired of listening to
his children memorize the twaddle of old fashioned
English history the author covered the ground in his
own peculiar and happy style for his own children's
use. When the work was published its success was
instantaneous.

BLACK BEAUTY, THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A
HORSE, by Anna Sewell, with 50 illustrations. A
work sure to educate boys and girls to treat with kind-
ness all members of the animal kingdom. Recognized
as the greatest story of animal life extant.

THE ARABIAN NIGHTS ENTERTAINMENTS,
with 130 illustrations. Contains the most favorably
known of the stories.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

ALTEMUS' DEVOTIONAL SERIES.

Standard Religious Literature Appropriately Bound in

Handy Volume Size. Each Volume contains

Illuminated Title, Portrait of Author

and Appropriate Illustrations.

WHITE VELLUM, SILVER AND MONOTINT,
BOXED, EACH FIFTY CENTS.

i KEPT FOR THE MASTER'S USE, by Frances Ridley
Havergal. " Will perpetuate her name."

a MY KING AND HIS SERVICE, OR DAILY
THOUGHTS FOR THE KING'S CHILDREN,

by Frances Ridley Havergal. " Simple, tender, gentle,
and full of Christian love."

3 MY POINT OF VIEW. Selections from the works of

Professor Henry Drummond.

4 OF THE IMITATION OF CHRIST, by Thomas

A Kempis. " With the exception of the Bible it is
probably the book most read in Christian literature."

5 ADDRESSES, by Professor Henry Drummond. " Intel-

ligent sympathy with the Christian's need."

6 NATURAL LAW IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD,

by Professor Henry iJrumrnond. " A most notable
book which has earned for the author a world-wide
reputation."

7 ADDRESSES, by the Rev. Philips Brooks. ''Has

exerted a marked influence over the rising generation."

8 ABIDE IN CHRIST. Thoughts on the Blessed Life of

Fellowship with the Son of Cod. By ihe Kev. Andrew
Murray. It cannot fail to stimulate and cheer. —
Spurgeon.

9 LIKE CHRIST. Thoughts on the Blessed T ife of Con-

foimity 10 the Son or God. By the Rev. Andrew
Murray. A sequel to " Abide in Christ." " Alay be
read with comfort and edification by «.!!."

10 WITH CHRIST IN THE SCHOOL OF PRAYER,

by the Rev Andrew Murray. " The best worK on
prayer in the language."

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

11 HOLY IN CHRIST. Thoughts on the Calling of God's

Children to be Holy as He is Holy. By the Rev.
Andrew Murray. " This sacred theme is ti eated Scrip-
turally and robustly without spurious sentimentalism."

12 THE MANLINESS OF CHRIST, by Thomas Hughes,

author of "Tom Browns School Days," etc. '* Evi-
dences of the sublimest courage and manliness in
the boyhood, ministry, and in the last acts of Christ's
life."

13 ADDRESSES TO YOUNG MEN, by the Rev. Henry

Ward Beecher. Seven Addresses on common vices and
their results.

14 THE PATHWAY OF SAFETY, by the Rt. Rev. Ash-

ton Oxenden, D.D. Sound words of advice and encour-
agement on the text " What must I do to be saved?"

15 THE CHRISTIAN LIFE, by the Rt. Rev. Ashton

Oxenden, D. D. A beautiful delineation of an ideal life
from the conversion to the final reward.

16 THE THRONE OF GRA.CE. Before which the bur-

dened soul may cast itself on the bosom of infinite love
and enjoy in prayer" a peace which passeth all under-
standing."

17 THE PATHWAY OF PROMISE, by the author of

'The Throne of Grace." Thoughts consolatory and
encouraging to the Christian pilgrim as he journeys
onward to his heavenly home.

18 THE IMPREGNABLE ROCK OF HOLY SCRIP-

TURE, by the Rt. Hon William Kwart Gladstone,
M P. The most masterly defence of the truths of the
Bible extant. The author says : The Christian Faith
and the Holy Scriptures arm us with the means of neu-
tralizing and repelling the assaults of evil in and from
ourselves.

19 STEPS INTO THE BLESSED LIFE, by the Rev. F.

B. Meyer, B. A. A powerful help towards sanciifica-
tion.

20 THE MESSAGE OF PEACE, by the Rev. Richard \V.

Church, D. L>. Eight excellent sermons on the advent
of the Babe of Bethlehem and his influence and effect
on the world.

21 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK, by the Rev. Charles

22 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES, by the Rev.

Charles H. Spurgeon.

23 THE CHANGED CROSS; AND OTHER RE-

LIGIOUS POEMS.

ALTEMUS' ETERNAL LIFE SERIES.

Selections from the writings of well-known religious

authors, beautifully printed and daintily bound

with original designs in silver and ink.

PRICE. 25 CENTS PER VOLUME.

1 ETERNAL LIFE, by Professor Henry Drummond.

2 LORD, TEACH US TO PRAY, by Rev. Andrew Murray.

3 GOD'S WORD AND GOD'S WORK, by Martin Luther.

4 FAITH, by Thomas Arnold.

5 THE CREATION STORY, by Honorable William E.

Gladstone.

6 THE MESSAGE OF COMFORT, by Rt. Rev. Ashton

7 THEXMESSAGE OF PEACE, by Rev R. \V. Church.

8 THE LORD'S PRAYER AND THE TEN COM-

MANDMENTS, by Dean Stanley.

9 THE MEMOIRS OF JESUS, by Rev. Robert F. Horton.

10 HYMNS OF PRAISE AND GLADNESS, by Elisabeth.

R. Scovil.

11 DIFFICULTIES, by Hannah Whitall Smith.

12 GAMBLERS AND GAMBLING, by Rev. Henry Ward

Beecher.

13 HAVE FAITH IN GOD, by Rev. Andrew Murray.

14 TWELVE CAUSES OF DISHONESTY, by Rev. Henry

Ward Beecher.

15 THE CHRIST IN WHOM CHRISTIANS BELIEVE,

by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks.

16 IN MY NAME, hy Rev. Andrew Murray.

17 SIX WARNINGS, by Rev. Henry Ward Beecher.

18 THE DUTY OF THE CHRISTIAN BUSINESSMAN,

by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks.

19 POPULAR AMUSEMENTS, by Rev. Henry Ward

20 TRUE LIBERTY, by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks.

21 INDUSTRY AND IDLENESS, by Rev. Henry Ward

Beecher.

22 THE BEAUTY OF A LIFE OF SERVICE, by Rt.

Rev. Phillips Brooks.

23 THE SECOND COMING OF OUR LORD, by Rev. A.

T. Pierson, D. D.

24 THOUGHT AND ACTION, by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks.

25 THE HEAVENLY VISION, by Rev. F. B Meyer.

26 MORNING STRENGTH, by Elisabeth R. Scovil.

27 FOR THE QUIET HOUR, by Edith V. Bradt.

28 EVENING COMFORT, by Elisabeth R. Scovil

29 WORDS OF HELP FOR CHRISTIAN GIRLS, by

Rev. F. B. Meyer.

. 30 HOW TO STUDY THE BIBLE, by Rev. Dwight L.
Moody.

31 EXPECTATION CORNER, by E. S. Elliot.

32 JESSICA'S FIRST PRAYER, by Hesba Stratton.

ALTEMUS' BELLES-LETTRES SERIES.

A collection of Essays and Addresses by eminent

English arid American Authors, beautifully

printed and daintily bound, with

original designs in silver.

PRICE, 25 CENTS PER VOLUME.

1 INDEPENDENCE DAY, by Rev. Edward E. Hale.

2 THE SCHOLAR IN POLITICS, by Hon. Richard Olney.

3 THE YOUNG MAN IN BUSINESS, by Edward W. Bok.

4 THE YOUNG MAN AND THE CHURCH, by Edward

W. Bok.

5 THE SPOILS SYSTEM, by Hon. Carl Schurz.

6 CONVERSATION, by Thomas DeQuincey.

7 SWEETNESS AND LIGHT, by Matthew Arnold.
1 8 WORK, by John Ruskin.

9 NATURE AND ART, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

10 THE USE AND MISUSE OF BOOKS, by Frederic

Harrison.

11 THE MONROE DOCTRINE: ITS ORIGIN, MEAN-

ING AND APPLICATION, by Prof. John Bach
McMaster (University of Pennsylvania).

12 THE DESTINY OF MAN, by Sir John Lubbock.

13 LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

14 RIP VAN WINKLE, by Washington Irving.

15 ART, POETRY AND MUSIC, by Sir John Lubbock.

16 THE CHOICE OF BOOKS, by Sir John Lubbock.

17 MANNERS, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

18 CHARACTER, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

19 THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW, by Wash-

ington Irving.

20 THE BEAUTIES OF NATURE, by Sir John Lubbock.

21 SELF RELIANCE, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

22 THE DUTY OF HAPPINESS, by Sir John Lubbock.

23 SPIRITUAL LAWS, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

24 OLD CHRISTMAS, by Washington Irving

25 HEALTH. WEALTH AND THE BLESSING OF

FRIENDS, by Sir John Lubbock.

26 INTELLECT, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

27 WHY AMERICANS DISLIKE ENGLAND, by Prof.

Geo B Adams (Yale).

28 THE HIGHER EDUCATION AS A TRAINING FOR

BUSINESS, by Prof. Harry Pratt Judson (University
of Chicago).

29 MISS TOOSEY'S MISSION.

30 LADDIE.

31 J. COLE, by Emma Gellibrand.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

ALTEMUS' NEW ILLUSTRATED
VADEMECUM SERIES.

Masterpieces of English and American Literature, Handy

Volume Size, Large Type Editions. Each Volume

Contains Illuminated Title Pages, and Portrait

of Author and Numerous Engravings

Full Cloth, ivory finish, ornamental inlaid sides and back,

boxed ... ................. 40

Full White Vellum, full silver and monotint, boxed .... 50

1 CRANFORD, by Mrs. Gaskell.

2 A WINDOW IN THRUMS, by J. M. Barrie.

3 RAB AND HIS FRIENDS, MARJORIE FLEM-

ING, ETC., by John Brown, M. D.

4 THE VICAR OF WAKEFIELD,by Oliver Goldsmith.

5 THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW,

by Jerome K. Jerome. " A book for an idle holiday."

6 TALES FROM SHAKSPEARE, by Charles and Mary

Lamb, with an introduction by the Rev. Alfred ASnger
M. D.

7 SESAME AND LILIES, by John Ruskin.

Three Lectures— I. Of the King's Treasures. II. Of
Queen's Garden. III. Of the Mystery of Life.

8 THE ETHICS OF THE DUST, by John Ruskin. Ten

lectures to little housewives on the elements of crystali-
zation.

9 THE PLEASURES OF LIFE, by Sir John Lubbock.

Complete in one volume.

10 THE SCARLET LETTER, by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

11 THE HOUSE OF THE SEVEN GABLES, by

Nathaniel Hawthorne.

12 MOSSES FROM AN OLD MANSE, by Nathaniel

Hawthorne.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

Altemus' New Illustrated Vademecum Series —
continued.

13 TWICE TOLD TALES, by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

14 THE ESSAYS OF FRANCIS (LORD) BACON

WITH MEMOIRS AND NOTES.

15 ESSAYS, First Series, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

16 ESSAYS, Second Series, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

17 REPRESENTATIVE MEN, by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Mental portraits each representing a class. i. The
Philosopher. 2. The Mystic. 3. TheSleptic. 4. The
Poet. 5. The Man of the World. 6. The Writer.

18 THOUGHTS OF THE EMPEROR MARCUS

AURELIUS ANTONINUS, translated by George
Long.

19 THE DISCOURSES OF EPICTETUS WITH THE

ENCHIRIDION, translated by George Long.

20 OF THE IMITATION OF CHRIST, by Thomas

AvKempis. Four books complete in one volume.

21 ADDRESSES, by Professor Henry Drummond The

Greatest Thing in the World; Pax Vobiscum ; The
Changed Life; How to Learn How; Dealing With
Doubt ; Preparation for Learning ; What is a Chris-
tian ; The Study of the Bible ; A Talk on Books.

22 LETTERS, SENTENCES AND MAXIMS, by Lord

Chesterfield Masterpieces of good taste, good writing
and good sense.

23 REVERIES OF A BACHELOR. A book of the

heart. By Ik Marvel.

24 DREAM LIFE, by Tk Marvel. A companion to " Reve-

r-es of a Bachelor."

25 SARTOR RESARTUS, by Thomas Carlyle.

26 HEROES AND HERO WORSHIP, by Thomas Car-

ly.e.

27 UNCLE TOM'S CABIN, by Harriet Beecher Stowe.

28 ESSAYS OF ELIA, by Charles Lamb.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

Altemus' New Illustrated Vademecum Series —
continued.

29 MY POINT OF VIEW. Representative selections from

the works of Professor Henry Drummond by William
Shepard.

30 THE SKETCH BOOK, by Washington Irving. Com-

plete.

31 KEPT FOR THE MASTER'S USE, by Frances

Ridley Havergal.

32 LUCILE, by Owen Meredith.

33 LALLA ROOKH, by Thomas Moore.

34 THE LADY OF THE LAKE, by Sir Walter Scott.

35 MARMION, by Sir Walter Scott.

36 THE PRINCESS ; AND MAUD, by Alfred (Lord)

Tennyson.

37 CHILDE HAROLD'S PILGRIMAGE, by Lord

Byron.

38 IDYLLS OF THE KING, by Alfred (Lord) Tennyson.

39 EVANGELINE, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

40 VOICES OF THE NIGHT AND OTHER POEMS,

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

41 THE QUEEN OF THE AIR, by John Ruskin. A

study of the Greek myths of cloud and storm.

42 THE BELFRY OF BRUGES AND OTHER

POEMS, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

43 POEMS, Volume I, by John Greenleaf Whittier.

44 POEMS, Volume II, by John Greenleaf Whittier.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

Altemus' New Illustrated Vademecum Series-
continued.

45 THE RAVEN; AND OTHER POEMS, by Edgar

Allan Poe.

46 THANATOPSIS;AND OTHER POEMS, by William

Cullen Bryant.

47 THE LAST LEAF;AND OTHER POEMS, by Oliver

Wendell Holmes.

48 THE HEROES OR GKEEK FAIRY TALES, by

Charles Kingsley.

49 A WONDER BOOK, by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

50 UNDINE, by de La Motte Fouque.

51 ADDRESSES, by the Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks.

5» BALZAC'S SHORTER STORIES, by Honore de
Balzac.

53 TWO YEARS BEFORE THE MAST, by Richard

H. Dana, Jr.

54 BENJAMIN FRANKLIN. An Autobiography.

55 THE LAST ESSAYS OF ELIA, by Charles Lamb.

56 TOM BROWN'S SCHOOL DAYS, by Thomas

Hughes.

57 'WEIRD TALES, by Edgar Allan Poe.

58 THE CROWN OF WILD OLIVE, by John Ruskin.

Three lectures on Work, Traffic and War.

59 NATURAL LAW IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD,

by Professor Henry Drummond.

Go ABBE CONSTANTIN, by Ludovic Halevy.
61 MANON LESCAUT, by Abbe Prevost.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

Altemus' New Illustrated Vademccum Series-
continued.

62 THE ROMANCE OF A POOR YOUNG MAN, by

Octave Feuillet.

63 BLACK BEAUTY, by Anna Sewell

64 CAMILLE, by Alexander Dumas, Jr.

65 THE LIGHT OF ASIA, by Sir Edwin Arnold.

66 THE LAYS OF ANCIENT ROME, by Thomas

Babington Macaulay.

67 THE CONFESSIONS OF AN ENGLISH OPIUM-

EATER, by Thomas De Quincey.

68 TREASURE ISLAND, by Robert L. Stevenson.

69 CARMEN, by Prosper Merimee.

70 A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY, by Laurence Sterne.

71 THE BLITHEDALE ROMANCE, by Nathaniel

Hawthorne.

72 BAB BALL ADS, AND SAVOY SONGS, by W. H.

Gilbert.

73 FANCHON, THE CRICKET, by George Sand.

74 POEMS, by James Russell Lowell.

75 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK, by the Rev. Charles

H. Spurgeon.

76 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES, by the Rev.

Lharles Jrl. Spurgeon.

77 THE MANLINESS OF CHRIST, by Thomas

Hughes.

78 ADDRESSES TO YOUNG MEN, by the Rev. Henry

Ward Beecher.

79 THE AUTOCRAT OF THE BREAKFAST

TABLE, by Oliver Wendell Holmes.

HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS.

Altemus' New Illustrated Vademecum Series
continued.

80 MULVANEY STORIES, by Rudyard Kipling.

81 BALLADS, by Rudyard Kipling.

82 MORNING THOUGHTS, by Frances Ridley Havergal.

83 TEN NIGHTS IN A BAR ROOM, by T. S. Arthur.

84 EVENING THOUGHTS, by Frances Ridley Havergal.

85 IN MEMORIAM, by Alfred (Lord) Tennyson

86 COMING TO CHRIST, by Frances Ridley Havergal.

87 HOUSE OF THE WOLF, by Stanley Weyman.

AMERICAN POLITICS (non-Partisan), by Hon. Thomas
V. Cooper. A history of all the Political Parties with their
views and records on all important questions. All political
platforms from the beginning to date. Great Speeches on
Great issues. Parliamentary Practice and tabulated history
of chronological events. A library without this work is de-
ficient. 8 vo., 750 pages. Cloth, $300. Full Sheep Library
style, $4 oo.

NAMES FOR CHILDREN, by Elisabeth Robinson Scovil,
author of "The Care of Children," "Preparation for
Motherhood." In family life there is no question of greater
weight or importance than naming the b?by. The author
gives much good advice and many suggestions on the sub-
ject. Cloth, izmo., $ .40.

TRIF AND TRIXY,byJohn Habberton, author of "Helen's
Babies." The story is replete with vivid and spirited
scenes ; and is* incomparably the happiest and most de-
lightful work Mr. Habberton has yet written. Cloth,
i2mo., $ .35.