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The Judging of Jurgen

The Judging of Jurgen

By

James Branch Cabell

CHICAGO
THE BOOKFELLOWS

1920

The Judging of Jurgen, by James Branch Cabell, BOOKFELLOW
No. 513, is reprinted by permission from the NEW YORK
TRIBUNE. Acknowledgment is also made to Vincent Starrett,

BOOKFELLOW No. 8.

Thw is the BooTcly Joy for October, 1920

J. B. C.: IN GRATITUDE

OW do I thank you, Cabell, in this wise :
For Horvendile and Jurgen, fifty lacs
Of rupees and of pearls, and thirty

sacks

Of maidens' hearts and sudden widows' eyes.
And you shall have your pick of knightly steeds,
And banners, shrewdly sewn with golden thread;
There shall be steel and velvet for your head,
And for your soul, a string of amber beads.
This for the present: I shall add, in time,
Much that your prowess shall exult to see,
When you have trysted with Calliope,
And quilled the record of your joyous crime.
I can be grateful, as you shall be shown . . .
You shall have all Chicago for your own !

— VINCENT STARRETT

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THE JUDGING OF JTJKGTCN

of Poictesme narrate that in the
old days a court was held by the Phil-
istines to decide whether or no King
Jurgen should be relegated to limbo. And
when the judges were prepared for judging,
there came into the court a great tumblebug,
rolling in front of him his loved and proper
ly housed young ones.

This insect looked at Jurgen, and its
pincers rose erect in horror. And the bug
cried to the three judges, "Now, by St. An
thony! this Jurgen must forthwith be rele
gated to limbo, for he is offensive and lewd
and lascivious and indecent."

"And how can that be?" says Jurgen.

"You are off ensive, " the bug replied, "be
cause you carry a sword, which I choose to
say is not a sword. You are lewd, because
you carry a staff, which I prefer to think is
not a staff. You are lascivious, because you
carry a lance, which I elect to declare is not

9

a lance. And, finally, you are indecent for
leasons of which a description would be ob
jectionable to me, and which, therefore, I
must decline to reveal to anybody."

"Well, that sounds logical," says Jurgen,
"but, still, at the same time, it would be no
worse for an admixture of common sense.
For you, gentlemen, can see for yourselves
that I have here a sword and a lance and a
staff, and no mention of anything else ; and
that all the lewdness is in the insectival mind
of him who itches to be calling these things
by other names."

The judges said nothing as yet, But they
that guarded Jurgen and all the other Phil
istines stood to this side and to that side with
their eyes shut tight and saying in unison,
"We decline to look, because to look might
Seem to imply a doubt of what the tumble-
bug has said. Besides, so long as the tum-
blebug has reasons which he declines to re
veal, his reasons stay unanswerable, and you
are plainly a prurient rascal, who are mak
ing trouble for yourself."

"To the contrary," says Jurgen, "I am a
poet and I make literature."

"But in Philistia to make literature and
to make trouble for yourself are synonyms,"

10

the tumblebug explained. "I know, for
already we of Philistia have been pestered
by three of these makers of literature. Yes,
there was Edgar, whom I starved and hunted
until I was tired of it ; then I chased him up
a back alley one night and knocked out those
annoying brains of his. And there was
Walt, whom I chivvied and battered from
place to place and made a paralytic out of
him; and him, too, I labelled offensive and
lewd and lascivious and indecent. Then,
later, there \vas Mark, whom I frightened
into disguising himself in a clown's suit, so
that nobody might suspect him of being one
of those vile makers of literature ; indeed, I
frightened him so that he hid away the
greater part of what he had made until he
was dead and I could not get at him. That
was a disgusting trick to play on me, I con
sider. Still, these are the only three detect
ed makers of literature that have ever in
fested Philistia, thanks be to goodness and
my vigilance, but for both of which we might
have been no more free from makers of lit
erature than are the other countries."

"Now, but these three," cried Jurgen,
"are the glories of Philistia; and of all that
Philistia has produced, it is these three

11

alone, whom living ye made least of, that
to-day are honored wherever art is honored,
and where nobody bothers one way or the
other about Philistia!"

"What is art to me and my way of liv
ing?" replied the tumblebug, wearily. "I
have no concern with art and letters and the
other lewd idols of foreign nations. I have
in charge the moral welfare of my young,
whom I roll here before me, and trust, with
St. Anthony's aid, to raise in time to be God
fearing tumblebugs like me. For the rest,
I have never minded dead men being well
spoken of; no, no, my lad, once whatever I
may do means nothing to you, and once you
are really rotten you will find the tumblebug
friendly enough. Meanwhile, I am paid to
protest that living persons are offensive and
lewd and lascivious and indecent, and one
must live."

Jurgen now looked more attentively at
this queer creature; and he saw that the
tumblebug was malodorous certainly, but at
bottom honest and well meaning; and that
seemed to Jurgen the saddest thing he had
found among the Philistines. For the tum
blebug was sincere in his insane doings and
all Philistia honored him sincerely, so that

12

there was nowhere any hope for this people.

Therefore, King Jurgen addressed him
self to submit, as his need was, to the strange
customs of the Philistines. "Now do you
judge me fairly," cried Jurgen to his judges,
"if there be any justice in this insane coun
try. And if there be none, do you relegate
me to limbo, or to any other place, so long
as in that place this tumblebug is not om
nipotent and sincere and insane."

And Jurgen waited. . .

13

NOW THE MORAL OF THE JUDGING OF JURGEN, WHICH
IS ALSO THE DEDICATION OF JURGEN, IS, AS IT WAS IN
THE BEGINNING :

BEFORE EACH TARRADIDDLE,
UNCOWED BY SCIOLISTS,
EOBUSTER PERSONS TWIDDLE
TREMENDOUSLY BIG FISTS.

"OUR GODS ARE GOOD," THEY TELL US,
' ' NOR WILL OUR GODS DEFER
EEIMISSION OF RUDE FELLOWS'
ABILITY TO ERR."

SO THIS YOUR JURGEN TRAVELS
CONTENT TO COMPROMISE
ORDAINMENTS NONE UNRAVELS
EXPLICITLY AND SIGHS.

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY
BERKELEY

Return to desk from which borrowed.
This book is DUE on the last date stamped below.

MAR 9

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