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Harvard College
Library
FROM THE FUND OF
HARRIET J. G. DENNY
or BOffioif
*44-
r
/
THE KISS AND ITS HISTORY
(•
THE KISS
an^ tt0 Distort
BY
Dr CHRISTOPHER NYROP
Professor of Romance Philology at the University of Copenhagen
TRANSLATED BY
WILLIAM FREDERICK HARVEY
M.A,y Hertford College y Oxford; Barrister-at-Law of the Inner
Temple ; Lecturer in English at the University of Lund
(Sweden); sometime Professor of English Literature
at the University of Malta
LONDON
SANDS & CO.
12 BURLEIGH STREET, STRAND
I9OI
\^51\^.^1,5
M
TO
WALTER BENSON, Esquire
1 DEDICATE MY MODEST PART IN THIS BOOK
IN TOKEN OP A FRIENDSHIP WHICH
HAS GROWN STAUNCHER WITH
THE GROWTH OF
YEARS
THEOCRITUS, /(iy/ xxviii., 24, 25.
"Surely great grace goes with a little gift, and all the offerings
of friends are precious."
a 2
Je c616bre des jeux paisibles,
Qu'en vain on semble mepriser,
Les vrais biens des dmes sensibles,
Lcs doux niysldros dii baiser.
DORAT
To gentle sports due praise I render,
At which some wits have vainly sneered:
The true delight of spirits tender,
The kiss's mysteries endeared.
W. F. H.
TRANSLATOR'S PREFACE
The following treatise, which is the work of
a Romance philologist of high European repu-
tation, has not only gone through two editions
in Denmark, but has also been translated into
German, Swedish, and Russian. The popu-
larity which this learned and at the same time
charming little book rapidly acquired abroad,
and the favourable criticisms passed on it by
Conlincnlal scholars, have encouraged me to
present it to my fellow-countrymen in an
English dress. With regard to the numerous
poetical quotations that form so striking a
feature of this book, those which I have
translated myself may be distinguished from
such as I have borrowed from standard versions
by the appended initials, W. F. H.
Inner Tkmplk,
London, md August 1901.
VII
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
Wenn ich nur selber wusste,
Was mir in die Seele zischt!
Die Worte mid die Kiisse
Sind wunderbar vermischt.
Oh, could I but decipher
What 'tis that fills my mind.
The words are with the kisses
So wond'rously combined.
Heine.
Dante, in the fifth canto of his Hell^ has
celebrated the power a kiss may have over
human beings. In the course of his wander-
ings in the nether world, when he has reached
the spot where abide those who have sinned
through love, he sees two souls that "flutter
so lightly in the wind." These are Francesco
da Rimini and her brother-in-law Paolo. He
asks Francesco to tell him :
" In the time of your sweet sighs,
By what, and how love granted, that ye knew
Your yet uncertain wishes ? "
ix
% AUTHOR'S PREFACE
Whereto she rq>lies :
^ One day
For oor delight we read of Lancelot,
Hoir him love thtall'd. Alone we were, and no
Stiqncion near us. Ofttimes by that reading
Oitr eyes were drawn together, and the hue
Fled from our altered checks But at one point
Alone we fell. When of that smile we read,
The wished smile, so rapturously kissed
By one so deep in love, then he^ who ne'er
From me shall separate, at once my lips
All trembling kiss'd. The book and writer both
Were love's purveyors. In its leaves that day
We read no more." *
I h;ivc had a sjx^cial object in iirefacinj^ my
studies on the history of kissing with these
famous verses, for I regarded it in the light of
a duty to caution my readers emphatically, and
at the very outset, as to the danger of even
reading about kisses; and I consider that,
having done this, I have warned my readers
against pursuing the subject, and " forewarned
is forearmed," or, *' homme avcrti en vaut dctLx^
* H. F, Gary's translation.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAP.
I. What is a Kiss? .
•
PAGl
3
II. Love Kisses
29
III. Affectionate Kisses
79
IV. The Kiss of Peace
lOI
V. The Kiss of Respect
"3
VI. The Kiss of FRiENnsnir
141
Vll. Various Kinds of Kisses
161
VIII. The Origin of Kissing .
177
L*Envoi
. 189
I
WHAT IS A KISS ?
A
CHAPTER I
WHAT IS A KISS?
It may perhaps seem somewhat futile to
begin with discussing what a kiss is : that
every child of course knows. We are
greeted with kisses directly we enter the
world, .and kisses follow us all our life long,
as 1 lolty sings —
Giving kisses, snatching kisses,
Keeps the busy world employed.
W. F. H.
Nevertheless the question is not altogether
superfluous. It seems to mc even to offer
certain points of interest, inasmuch as it is
by no means so easy as people may imagine
to define what a kiss is. If we turn to the
poets we are often put oflf with the answer
that a kiss is something that should be
merely felt, and that people would do well
4 THE KISS
to refrain from speculating as to what it
actually is.
What says this glance ? What meaning lurks in this
Squeezing of hands, embrace, and lingVing kiss ?
This only can your heart explain to you.
What have such matters with the brain to do ?
W. F. H.
So, for instance, says Aarestrup ; but he adds
as a sort of explanation —
But when I see thee my fond kiss denying,
And straightway, nathless, mine embrace not spurning,
Then needs must I to tedious arts be turning,
And let crabbM wisdom from my lips go flying.
Know then the voice alone interprets rightful
And with poetic fire from heart's depth welleth,
And yet the sweetest of them all by no means I
Whereas the bosom, arms, and lips, and eye-sheens —
How shall I call it ? for the total swelleth
Unto a language wordless as delightful.
W. F. H.
which has not brought us nearer to a solu-
tion of the question. Other poets give
us an allegorical transcription, couched in
vague poetical terms, which rather refer to
the feelings of which the kiss may be an
expression than attempt to define its physi-
ology. Thus Paul Verlaine defines a kiss
as ** the fiery accompaniment on the key-
WHAT IS A KISS ? 6
board of the teeth of the lovely songs which
love sings in a burning heart."
Baiser I rose tremi^re au jardin des caresses !
Vif accoinpagncment sur le clavier des dents,
Dcs doux refrains qu'Atnour chatile cii les ccciirs ardcnls
Avec sa voix d'archange aiix langueurs charnieresses I
This definition, which seems to me to be
as original as it is beautiful and apt, deals,
however, exclusively with the kiss of love ;
but kisses, as we all know, are capable of
expressing many other emotions, and it
enlightens us not one whit as to the external
side of the nature of a kiss. Let us, there-
fore, leave the poets, and seek refuge with
the philologists.
In the Dictionary of the Danish Philo-
logical Society ( Videnskabernes Selskabs Ordbog)
a kiss is defined as "a pressure of the
mouth against a body." As every one
at once perceives, this explanation is very
unsatisfactory, for, from the above statements,
we could hardly accept more than one, viz.,
the mouth. Now, of course, it is quite clear
that one of the first requisites for a kiss is
a mouth. ** Eincn Kuss an sich, ohnc Mund,
kann man nicht geben," say the Germans,
J
6 THE KISS
and it is also remarkable that in Finnish,
antaa sunta, "to kiss," means literally "to
give mouth."
How does the mouth produce a kiss?
A kiss is produced by a kind of sucking
movement of the muscles of the lips, accom-
panied by a weaker or louder sound. Thus,
from a purely phonetic point of view, a kiss
may be defined as an inspiratory bilabial
sound, which English phoneticians call the
lip-click, i.e.^ the sound made by smacking
the lip. This movement of the muscles,
however, is not of itself sufficient to produce
a kiss, it being, as you know, employed by
coachmen when they want to start their
horses ; but it becomes a kiss only when it is
used as an expression of a certain feeling, and
when the lips are pressed against, or simply
come into contact with, a living creature
or object.
The sound which follows a kiss has been
carefully investigated by the Austrian savant,
W. von Kcmpelcn, in his remarkable book
entitled The Mechanism of Human Speech
(Wien, 1 791). He divides kisses into three
sorts, according to their sound. First he treats
of kisses proper, which he characterises as
WHAT IS A KISS? 7
a freundschaftlich hellklatschendcr Herzensktiss
(an affectionate, clear-ringing kiss coming
from the heart) ; next he defines the more
discreet, or, from an acoustic point of view,
weaker kiss ; and, lastly, speaks contemptu-
ously of a third kind of kiss, which is desig-
nated an ekelhafter Schmatz (a loathsome
smack).
Many other writers have, although in a
less scientific manner, sought to define and
elucidate the sound that arises from a kiss.
Johannes j0rgensen says very delicately in his
Stemninger that ** the plash of the waves
against the pebbles of the beach is like the
sound of long kisses."
It is generally, however, an exclusively
humorous or satirical aspect that is most
conspicuous. In the Seducers Diary
(Forf0rerens dagbog) of Soren Kierkegaard,
Johannes speaks of the engaged couples who
used to assemble in numbers at his uncle s
house : ** Without interruption, the whole
evenings through, one hears a sound as if a
person was going round with a fly-flap : that
is the lovers' kisses." A still more drastic
comparison is found in the German expres-
sion, *' the kiss sounded just like when a cow
8 THE KISS
drags her hind hoof out of a swamp." This
metaphor, which is used, you know, by Mark
Twain, is as graphic as it is easy of compre-
hension ; whereas, on the other hand, I am
somewhat perplexed with regard to an old
Danish expression that is to be found in the
Ole Lade's Phrases {Fraser) : ** He kissed her
so that it rang just as it does when one strikes
the horns off felled cows." Another old
author speaks of kissing that sounds as if
one was pulling the horn out of an owl
The emotions expressed by this more or less
noisy lip-sound arc manifold and varying :
burning love and affectionate friendship,
exultant joy and profound grief, etc., etc. ;
consequently there must be many different
sorts of kisses.
The austere old Rabbis only recognised three
kinds of kisses, viz. : those of greeting, fare-
well, and respect. The Romans had also
three kinds, but their classification was essen-
tially at variance with the Rabbis* : they
distinguished between oscn/a,* friendly kisses,
basia, kisses of love, and suavia, passionate
♦ From osculum wc get the words osculogy, the science of
kissing, and osculogical, that which pertains to kissing ; but the
Greek derivations philematology and philematological are per-
haps preferable.
WHAT IS A KISS? 9
kisses. The significance of these words is
clearly expressed in the following lines : —
Basia coniugibus, sed et oscula dantur atnicis,
Suavia lascivis miscantur grata labellis.
But the Romans* division is by no means
exhaustive ; kisses are and have been
actually employed to express many other
feelings than those above-mentioned.
That kisses in this book are arranged in
five groups, viz., kisses of passion, love, peace,
respect, and friendship, is chiefly due to
practical considerations ; for, to be precise,
these artificially-formed groups are inadequate,
aiul, besides, oftcMi ovcTlap one another.
A modern French writer reckons no less
than twenty sorts of kisses, but I find in
German dictionaries over thirty different desig-
nations : Abschiedskuss, Brautkuss, Bruder-
kuss, Dankkuss, Doppelkuss, Ehrenkuss,
Efwiderungskuss, Feuerkuss^ Flavimenkuss,
Frauenktiss, Freundschaftskiiss^ Frtedenskuss^
Gcgenktiss, Geisterkuss, Handkuss, Honigkuss^
InbruntskusSy Judaskuss^ Lehenskuss, Liebes-
kuss, MddchenkusSy Minnekuss, Morgenknss,
Miitlcrkuss, Ncbenkuss, PantoJfclkusSy Segens-
kuss, Sifhnungskuss, UndschuUiskttss, Ver-
10 THE KISS
m'dhhmgskuss^ VersohnungsktisSy Wechselkuss^
WeihekusSy Ztu:kerku5s, etc., etc. In German
the verb itself, **to kiss," is varied in many
different ways, e.g.^ in Germany one may
aukUssen, aufkUssen^ auskussen, bekUssen,
durchkUssefiy emporkUssen, entkilssen, erkilssen^
fortkilssen, herkUssen^ nachkilssen, verkUssen,
vorbeikUssen, wegkUssetiy widerkiissen^ zerkUssen^
zukilssen^ and zuriickkilssen.
We must give the Germans the credit of
being thorough, and in the highest degree
methodical and exhaustive in their nomen-
clature, for can wc conceive a more admir-
able word than, for instance, nachkilssen^
which is explained as ''making up for kisses
that have been omitted, or supplementing
kisses " ? However, on the other hand, it
cannot be denied that they are at the same
time awkward and tasteless in their expres-
sions ; a word such as auskUssen, which, for
instance, is used in the refrain : Trink aus!
Kuss aus! seems to me to smack perilously
of the ale-house.
We have now seen what a kiss is ; but
before proceeding to investigate the different
kinds of kisses, their significance in the history
of civilisation, and treatment in poetry, it
WHAT IS A KISS? 11
still remains for us to reply to some of the
ordinary queries regarding the nature and
characteristics of the kiss.
In the first place we must investigate the
kiss in its gustative aspect. I here confine
myself to what Kierkegaard calls " the perfect
kiss," i,e., the kiss between man and woman ;
kisses between men are, according to that
authority, insipid.
Kiissen^ tvo sntekt dat? see de vtaid. Yes,
its taste naturally depends entirely on the cir-
cumstances, and experience is here a teacher
that sets every theory at nought ; but a few
leading features may, however, be indicated.
When Lars Iversen, in Schandorph s Skov-
fogedb0rnene, has kissed Mette Splyd, he
wipes his mouth and says, when he has got
well outside the door, "That tasted like
meat that has been kept too long." When
the old minnesinger, King Wenceslaus of
Bohemia, had kissed his sweetheart he sang:
**Just as a rose that opens its calix when
it drinks the sweet dew, she offered me her
sugar-sweet red mouth."
Recht als eiii rose diu sich uz ir klosen lat,
Sweiiii si des siiczcn touwcs gert,
Sus bol si mil* ir zuckersiiezcn r6len niuiil.
12 THE KISS
As we perceive from both these examples,
there is a great distinction between kisses
in their gustative aspect, but, for obvious
reasons, I shall entirely exclude the variety
represented by Mette Splyd.
The most frequently employed and, at
the same time undoubtedly the most fitting
epithet of a kiss, is that it is sweet. The
shepherd in the French pastorals is fond of
asking for a sweet kiss {un doux baiser)y and
poets innumerable, like Wenceslaus, have sung
about the beloveds sugar mouth. During
the Renaissance such expressions as her
bouche sucrine (sugary mouth) and bouche
pleine de sture et d'ambregris (mouth full
of sugar and ambergris) were often employed.
We find this further borne out by two
Latin epigrams. One asks: — '*What is
sweeter than mead ? " and the answer runs :
** The dew of heaven. And what is sweeter
than dew? — Honey from Hybla? What
is sweeter than honey? — Nectar. Than
nectar? — A kiss."
Quid mulso praestat ? Ros coeli. Rore quid ? Hyblae
Mel. Melle hoc ? Nectar. Hectare ? Suaviolum.
The second epigram goes through a
WHAT IS A KISS? 13
similar string of comparisons, and arrives at the
same result : ** What is better than sugar ? —
Honey-cake. Than honey-cake ? — The flavour
of honey-combs. Than this flavour? — Dewy
isses —
Saccharo quid superat? Libum. Quid libo ? Favorum
Gustus. At hunc gustum ? Basia roscidula.
Kisses are sweet as woman's gentle
breath, which, according to a Roumanian
folk-song, smells of "delicate young wine,"
or, as the French poets say, of '* thousands
of flowers." —
Laughing mouth, mouth to caress,
Kissing ere its lips you press ;
Sweet for kissing, bahny breath
Like the perfume of fresh heath.
W. F. H.
A woman's breath, which intoxicates man,
is, as it were, the ethereal expression of her
whole being. In the description of the
youthful Blancheflor we are told that her
breath is so delicious and refreshing that he
who experiences it knows not pain, and
needs no food for a whole week.
De sa bouche ist si douce haleine,
Vivre en peut-on une semaine ;
Qui au lundi le sentiroit
En la semaine mal n^avroit.
Moreover, as the flavour of a kiss depends
14 THE KISS
on the woman's mouth, let us, therefore,
investigate how a woman's mouth ought to be
fashioned in order to fulfil its purpose from a
philematological point of view. When the
mediaeval French poets describe a beautiful
and desirable woman they say of her mouth
that it must be ** well-formed and sweet to kiss**
(bien faite et douce pour baiser). The trouba-
dours likewise in their love poems praise the
mouth that is benfaita ad obs de baisar.
If more detailed explanations are wanted
they can easily be given. The lips must, in
the first place, be bewitchingly soft ; next,
they must be as red as coral :
Los labios de la su boca
Como un fino coral,
or else red as roses :
La bocca piccioletta e colorita,
Vermiglia come rosa di giardino,
Piagente ed amorosa per baciare.*
This last simile is one of the most fre-
quently employed. The beloved one's mouth
is likened to a rose ; it has the scent and
colour of a rose :
* The tiny little mouth, red as a rose
That blossoms hidden in some garden-close.
Pleasant and amorous through being kissed. W. F. H.
WHAT IS A KISS? 15
Haec dulcis in amore
Est et plena decore,
Rosa rubet rubore,
Et lilium convallium
Tota vincit odore,
sang the wandering clerks in the Middle
Ages, the jolly Goliards, and they extolled the
youth who was lucky enough to kiss the
mouth of such a woman :
Felix est qui osculis mcllifluis
Ipsius potitur.
And, they went on to say, **on every
maiden's lips the kiss sits like a rose which
only longs to be plucked " :
Sedit in ore
Rosa cum pudore.
The old German minnesingers use the
expression Kussblilmlein (kiss-floweret), and
a bard of the Netherlands sings : '* My be-
loved is my summer, my beloved is my joy,
all the roses bloom every time she gives me
iss :
Mijn liefken is niijn somer,
Min liefken is mijn lust,
En al de rosen bloejen
So dicmael si mi cust.
But all this is only poetry, merely feeble
imageries which only give an entirely weak
16 THE KISS
idea of the reality. How accurate is Thomas
Moore when, in one of his poems, he declares
that roses are not so warm as his beloved s
mouth, nor can the dew approach it in sweetness.
Now if we turn to the other aspect of the
case and see what women exj)ect from a
man's kiss, then the question becomes some-
what more difficult to treat, inasmuch as so
exceedingly few women have treated of kisses
in poetry — a, fact which is also in itself quite
natural. Runeberg, who himself has so often
sung the praises of kissing without, however,
being versed in their nature:
For my part Tve ne'er understood
Of kisses what can be the good ;
But I should die if kept away
From thy red lips one single day.
W. F. H.
asks his beloved :
Now, dearest maiden, answer me.
What joy can kisses bring to thee ?
W. F. H.
But she fails to answer him :
I ask thee now, as I asked this,
And all thy answer's kiss on kiss,
W. F. H.
Besides, it seems very evident from the last
line that the situation did not admit of the
WHAT IS A KISS? 17
calmer and more sober observation which
forms the necessary condition for a reliable
answer to the question. I am, therefore,
obliged to attempt to reply to the question
myself; but I readily admit my deficiency in
the essential qualification of being able to do
so in a satisfactory manner. Moreover, the
literary material at my disposal is exceedingly
inadequate, and, for that reason, I cannot claim
any universal application for my treatment of
the subject.
In the first place it seems indisputable that
a woman gives a decided preference to a man
with a beard ; at all events a heiduke sings
in a Roumanian ballad : " I am still too
young to marry ; my beard has not yet
sprouted. What married woman then will
care about kissing me ? "
C^ simt voinic neinsorat ;
Nici mustete nu m'a dat :
Cum simt bun de s^rutat
La neveste cu barbat ?
To judge from the part the heidukes play
in the ballad literature of the Roumanians
and Serbs, they must be very experienced in
everything that has to do with women and
love, and their testimony must therefore be
B
18 THE KISS
accepted as being sufficiently reliable. Be-
sides, we find the same taste among women
in Northern Europe. In Germany there is
said to be nothing in a kiss without a
beard : Ein Ktiss ohm Bart ist einc
Ves/>er ohvc Mac^nificat (a kiss wilhout a
beard is like Vespers without the Magnifi-
cat) ; or, still more strongly, Ein Kvss ohnc
Bart ist ein Ei ohne Salz (a kiss without a
] beard is like an ^^^ without salt). The
young girls in Holland also incline to this
point of view : Een kussjc zonder haard, ecu
eitje zonder zotU (an %gg without salt), and
they have in the Frisian Islands some who
share their taste : An Kleeb sanner Biard as
as en Brei sanner Salt (porridge without
salt). Lastly, the Jutland lassies also take
the same view of the matter — in fact they
are, if I may say so, even more refined in
their requirements ; a kiss is not only to
sound, but it must have some flavour about
it — it ought to be strong and luscious : At
kysse en karl nden skni og skaeg cr soin at
kysse en leret vaeg (kissing a fellow without
a quid of tobacco and a beard is like kissing
a clay wall), say those who express them-
selves in the most refined manner ; but there
WHAT IS A KISS? 19
arc others who are not so particular in the
choice of words, and these latter say straight
out : A kys jeUy dee hveken r0ger eller skrder^
de iB som rnte ku kys (b sp(e kal i r., (kissing
one who neither smokes nor chews tobacco is
like kissing a new-born calf on the rump).
On the other hand, a person should not be
too wet about the mouth — that they do not
like ; e.g., the scornful saying : " He is nice
to kiss when one is thirsty," or, as the Ger-
man girls say : Einen Ktiss mit Sauce bekom-
men (to get a kiss with sauce).
It apparently follows from this that women
are not so simple in their tastes as men ; a
kiss by itself is not sufficient, it requires
some condiment or other in addition — and,
for the credit of women's taste, let it be said
— this need not always be tobacco. In a ^/
French folk-song the lover tells us that he has
smeared his mouth with fresh butter so that
it may taste better :
J'avais toujou dans ma pochette
Du bon bieur' frais,
O que je me gressais la goule,
Ouand i' Tembrassais.
I have already mentioned in my preface
20 THE KISS
how dangerous the mere reading about kisses
may be ; but, apart from literature, a kiss
is something which has to be dealt with
most cautiously. Now hear what Socrates
said to Xenophon one day : " Kritobulus is
the most foolhardy and rash fellow in the
world ; he is rasher than if he meant to
dance on naked sword -points or fling him-
self into the fire : he has had the audacity
to kiss a pretty face." — "But," asked Xeno-
phon, "is that such a deed of daring? I
am certainly no desperado, but still I think
I would venture to expose myself to the
same risk." — " Luckless wight," replied So-
crates, "you are not thinking what would
betide you. If you kissed a pretty face,
would you not that very instant lose your
freedom and become a slave? Would you
not have to spend much money on harmful
amusements, and would you not do much
which you would despise, if your understand-
ing were not clouded? Hercules forbid
what dreadful effects a poor kiss can have!
And dost thou marvel at it, Xenophon?
You know, I take it, those tiny spiders which
are not half the size of an obol, and yet
they can, through merely touching a person s
WHAT IS A KISS? 21
mouth, cause him the keenest pains; nay,
even deprive him of his understanding. But,
by Jupiter, anyhow this is quite another
matter ; for spiders poison the wound
directly they inflict a sting. O, thou simple
fellow, dost thou not know that lustful kisses
are poisoned, even if thou failest to perceive
the poison? Dost thou not know that she
to whom the name of beautiful is given is a
wild beast far more dangerous than scorpions ;
for the latter only poison us by their touch,
whereas beauty destroys us without actual
contact with us, and even ejects from a long
distance a venom so dangerous that people
arc deprived thereby of their wits. This is
the reason why I advise you, O Xenophon,
to run away as fast as you can the very instant
you see a beautiful woman, and with regard to
yourself, O Kritobulus, I deem you will act most
prudently in spending a whole year abroad ;
for that is the least time necessary for curing
thy wound."*
It may perhaps be thought that Socrates'
fear of kissing is a trifle exaggerated, his
idea possibly arising from a certain prejudice
derived from Mistress Xantippe ; anyhow,
* Translated from the Danish Version.
22 THE KISS
nowadays, we regard the matter from a far
more sober point of view. We oiight, never-
theless, to be well on our guard against the
frivolous opinion expressed in so many modern
sayings, that a kiss is a thing of no conse-
quence whatever. The Italians bluntly assert
**that a mouth is none the worse for having
been kissed '* {bocca baciata non perde ventura),
and a French writer of the present day even
goes so far as to compare a kiss with those
usually-harmless bullets which are exchanged
in modern duels. Bah ! deux baisers, qtiest
que cela? On les ^change comnie des balles
sans risultat^ et rhonneur reste satis/ait
(Bah! two kisses. What of that.** They are
exchanged like bullets that miss the mark,
and honour is satisfied).
This frivolous notion must not, however, be
deemed peculiar to the Latin nations : it is
to be met with even in the North. In
Norway there is a song:
Jens Johannesen, the Goth so brave,
The maid on her chops a good buss gave.
He kissed her once, and once again,
But each time was she likewise fain,
But each time was she likewise fain.
W. F. H.
As you see, the last line of the verse is
WHAT IS A KISS? 23
repeated as if for the purpose of duly
impressing the moral of the song.
It is said in Als : Et kys er et stow^ den
der it vil ha et, ka vask et ow (a kiss is like
a grain of dust, which any one who would be
rid of it can wash away). We read as far
back as Pcder Syv * : Et kys kan afviskes
(a kiss can be washed away), but he adds
solemnly, and for our warning : " She who
permits a kiss also permits more ; and he
who has access to kisses has also access to
more." Even the Germans say : Kuss kann
man zwar abivischen, aber das Feuer im
Herzen nich loschen (a kiss may indeed be
washed away, but the fire in the heart
cannot be quenched).
Thus hardly the shadow of a doubt ought
to exist as to kisses being extraordinarily
dangerous- -or, in any case, capable of becom-
ing so — far more dangerous, for instance, than
dynamite or gun-cotton ; in the first place,
at any rate, inasmuch as people are not in the
habit of walking about with such explosives in
their pockets, whereas every one has kisses
always at hand, or, more correctly speaking,
* A Danish poet, philologist, and collector of proverbs
(1631-1702).
24 THE KISS
in their mouths ; secondly, we are rid of
dynamite when once it has exploded, but, on
the other hand, we can never actually be quit
of a kiss — without at the same time returninj^
it ; for we take back the kisses we give, you
know, and we give, too, those we take back —
and, adds the proverb, ** nobody is the loser."
Einen Kuss den man raubt giebt man wieder
(One returns a stolen kiss), say the Germans ;
and the Spaniards have expressed the same
thought in a neat little copla : " Dost thy
mother chide thee for having given me a
kiss? Then take back, dear girl, thy kiss,
and bid her hold her tongue."
I Porque un beso me has dado
Rifte tu madre ?
Toma, nifta, tu beso ;
Dile que calle.
Marot has treated the same subject in his
epigram Le Baiser VoU, or the Stolen Kiss.
About my daring now you grieve,
To snatch a kiss without ado,
Nor even saying, " By your leave."
Come, I will make my peace with you,
And now I want you to believe
I'm loth your soul again to grieve
By theft of kisses, since, alack,
My kiss has wrought such dole and teen ;
WHAT IS A KISS? 25
Yet 'tis not lost ; 1*11 give it back,
And that right blithely, too, I ween.
W. F. H.
There is a French anecdote of the present
day about a student who took the liberty of
kissing a young girl. She got very angry,
however, and called him an insolent puppy,
whereupon he retorted with irrefutable logic :
Ponr Dicii ! Mademoiselle ne votis fdchez pas,
si ce baiser vous gine, rendez-le-moi (For
goodness' sake, don't be cross, young lady.
If that kiss annoys you, give it back to me).
It seems to have had a more amicable settle-
ment in the case of a Danish couple who had
resolved to break off their engagement: "It
is best, I suppose, that we return each other s
letters?" said he. '* I think so too," replied she,
*' but shall we not at the same time give each
other all our kisses back ? " They did so, and
thus agreed to renew their engagement.
This little story shows us that a kiss is
something which cannot be so easily lost, and
I hope, not least for the sake of my book, that
we shall concur in the Italian proverb which
says : Bacio dato non e mai perduto (a kiss
once given is never lost).
II
LOVE KISSES
A long, long kiss, a kiss of youth and love
And beauty, all concentrating like rays
Into one focus, kindled from above ;
Such kisses as belong to early days,
Whcro hcarl, aiul soul, and s<m»so, in <*()n<*crl move.
And llie blood's lav.'i, and llic pulse a blaze,
Each kiss a heart-quake, — for a kiss's strength
I think, it must be reckoned by its length.
BVRON.
CHAPTER II
LOVE KISSES
'*y\T the time of the worlds creation kisses
were created and cruel love." Thus begins
a Cypriot folk-song, and it is assuredly with-
out the shadow of a doubt that among all
nations which on the whole know kissing, it
gets its sublimest meaning as the expression
of love.
In the transport of love the lovers' lips seek
each other. When Byron's Don Juan wanders
one evening along the shore with his Haidee,
they glance at the moonlit sea which lies out-
spread before them, and they listen to the lap-
ping of the waves and the whispering murmur
of the breeze, but suddenly they
Saw each other's dark eyes darting light
Into each other — and, heholding this,
Their Hps drew near, and clung into a kiss.
20
30 THE KISS
They had not spoken, but they felt allured,
As if their souls and lips each other beckoned,
Which, being joined, like swarming bees they clung —
Their hearts the flowers from whence the honey sprung.
The kiss of love is the exultant message
of the longing of love, love eternally young,
the burning prayer of hot desire, which is born
on the lovers' lips, and "rises," as Charles Fuster
has said, "up to the blue sky from the green
plains," like a tender, trembling thank-offering.
Que tons les cocurs soient apais6s
Et toutes les levres ouvertes,
Qu'un fr^missement de baisers
Monte au ciel bleu des plaines vertes !
The love kiss, rich in promise, bestows
an intoxicating feeling of infinite happiness,
courage, and youth, and therefore surpasses
all other earthly joys in sublimity — at any rate
all poets say so — and no one has expressed it
in more exquisite and choicer words than
Alfred de Musset in his celebrated sonnet on
Tizianello :
Beatrix Donato was the soft sweet name
Of her whose earthly form was shaped so fair ;
A faithful heart lay in her breast's white frame,
Her spotless body held a mind most rare.
LOVE KISSES 31
The son of Titian, for her deathless fame.
Painted this portrait, witness of love's care,
And from that day renounced his art's high claim,
Loth that another dame his skill should share.
Stranger, if in your heart love doth ahide,
Gaze on my lady's picture ere you chide.
Say if perchance your lady's fair as this.
Then mark how poor a thing is fame on earth ;
Grand as this portrait is, it is not worth —
Believe me on my oath — the model's kiss.
W. F. H.
Thus even the highest work of art, yea, the
loftiest reputation, is nothing in comparison
with the passionate kiss of a woman one
loves. This is what life has taught Musset,
and a half melancholy sigh rings through his
exultation over the omnipotence of love. In
turning to the more natve speech of popular
poetry, we find in a German Schnaderhilpfel
(Improvisation) a corresponding homage to the
kiss as the noblest thing in the world :
My sweetheart's poor.
But fair to behold.
What use were wealth ?
I cannot kiss gold.
W. F. H.
And we all yearn for kisses and we all seek
them; it is idle to struggle against this passion.
No one can evade the omnipotence of the kiss,
/_
32 THE KISS
the best resolutions, the most solemn oaths, are
of no avail. A pretty little Servian folk-song*
treats of a young girl who swore too hastily.
Yestreen swore a maiden fair,
Ne*cr again Pll wear a garland,
Ne'er again I'll wear a garland,
Wine again J 'II never drink,
Never more Fll kiss a laddie.
Yestreen swore the maiden fair,
Clean to-day her oath's regretted :
If I decked myself with flow'rets,
Then the flow'rets made me fairer ;
If I quaffed the wine that's ruddy,
Then my heart grew all the blither ;
If I kissed my heart's beloved,
Life to me grew doubly dearer.* W. F. H.
It is through kisses that a knowledge of life
and happiness first comes to us. Runeberg
says that the angels rejoice over the first kiss
exchanged by lovers.
The evening star was silling beside a silver cloud,
A maid from out a twilight grove addressed this star
aloud,
"Come, tell me, star of evening, what angels think in
heaven
When by a youth and maiden the first sweet kiss is
given ? "
And heaven's bashful daughter was heard to deign reply:
**0n earth the choir of angels bright look down from
out the sky,
• This and most of the following Servian ballads were trans-
lated by Prof. Nyrop into Danish from the German version of
O. P. Ritto.
LOVE KISSES 33
And see their own felicity then mirrored on the earth.
But death sheds tears^ and turns his eyes away from such
blest mirth."
W. F. H.
Only death weeps over the brief duration
of human happiness, weeps because the bliss
of the kiss endures not for ever. And likewise,
even after death, lovers kiss. Jannakos and
Helena, his plighted bride, die before their
wedding day. They die in a kiss and are
buried together; but over their grave grew a
cypress and an orange tree, and the latter
stretched forth its branches on high and
kissed the cypress.
The happiest man is the man who has the
kiss. In the Greek romance of Babylonika^
which was attributed to Jamblicus, who lived
in the second century of the Christian era,
three lovers contend for the favour of a young
maid. To one she has given the cup out of
which she was wont to drink ; the second she
has garlanded with flowers that she herself has
worn ; to the third she has given a kiss.
Borokos is called on as judge to decide as to
which has enjoyed the highest favour, and he
unhesitatingly decides the dispute in favour of
the last.
The same subject is often the theme of
34 THE KISS
d4 inct A.ias
folk-poetry, and the verdict never alters ; the
joy bestowed by a kiss surpasses all other joys.
A Hungarian ballad runs thus :
As the hart holds dear the fountain ,
And the bee the honied flow'rets,
So the noble grape I cherish ;
After this songs melting, tender,
Kisses, too, of lips of crimson,
As thine own, O Cenzi mine.
But the wine's might fires my senses,
And songs wake within me blitheness.
And with love intoxicated.
With thy love, mine own belovM.
And my heart no more is longing
After purple, after gew-gaws>
After what the others long for.
Happy am I in the clinking
Of the goblet filled with rich wine ;
Happier still amidst sweet singing ;
But my happiness were greatest,
Dared I press my kisses on a
Mouth, and that mouth only thine.
W. F. H.
The same idea is still more delicately ex-
pressed in the following Servian ballad :
Proudly cried a golden orange
On the breezy shore :
'* Certainly nowhere happiness
Is found to equal mine.*'
LOVE KISSES 35
Answered a green apple
From its apple tree :
" Fool to boast, golden orange,
On the breezy shore ;
For happiness such as I've found,
Its like cannot be seen."
Then said the breezy meadow.
As yet untouched by scythe :
** Too conceited, little apple^
That speech of thine, meseems,
For happiness such as IWe found.
Its like cannot be seen."
Then spake a lovely maiden.
Unsullied by a kiss :
" Thou pratest folly, grass-plot.
Instead of sooth, I ween.
For happiness such as I've found
Its like cannot be seen."
But a handsome lad made answer
To every speech they made ;
** YouVe mad, all mad, to utter
Such words as I've just heard.
For no one in the universe
Can be so blest as I."
" Golden orange by the breezy
Shore I pluck thee now.
Apple, from thy apple tree
To-day V\l shake thee down.
Grass-plot, I'll mow thee level
With my scythe-strokes to-day.
Maiden, as yet unsullied,
To-day I'll kiss thy lips."
W. F. H.
36 THE KISS
In another Servian lay, the lover sings
that he would rather kiss his sweetheart
than be the Sultans guest. In Spain the
lover wishes he were the water-cooler so that
he might kiss his darlings lips when she
is drinking :
Arcarrasa de tu casa,
Chiquiya, quisiera ser,
Para besarte los labios
Quando fueras A beber.
The Greeks say that the kiss is ** the
key to Paradise*'; yea, it is Paradise itself,
declares Wergeland :
Nay, bride, thine embrace more than heav'n I prize ;
Oh, kiss me once more that to heav'n I rise.
W. F. H.
The kiss is a preservation against every
ill. ** No ill-luck can betide me when she
bestows on me a kiss," sings the old trouv^re,
Colin Muset :
Se de li ai un douz baisier
Ne me porroit nus nials venir.
It gives health and strength, adds
Heine :
Yet could I kiss thee, O my soul,
Then straightway I should be made whole.
W. F. H.
LOVE KISSES 37
It carries life with it ; it even bestows
the gift of eternal youth — if one can believe
the words of the Duke of Anhalt the
minnesinger :
Your mouth is crimson ; over its sweet portal
A kindly Genius seems for ever flowing.
If on that mouth a kiss I were bestowing,
Methinks I should in sooth become immortal.
W. F. H.
The Persians, too, had the same idea.
The jovial Hafiz laments that "sour wisdom
added to old age and virtue" has laid waste
his strength, but a remedy is to be found
for these :
" Come and drink," the maiden whispered,
** Sin and sweetness, youthful folly,
Lovingly from lips of crimson,
From my bosom's lily chalice,
And live on with strength redoubled."
W. F. H.
And if a kiss is no good, then nought
avails. In another passage the same bard
says, that were he suddenly on some occa-
sion to feel himself tormented by agony and
unrest, no one is to give him bitter medicine —
for such he detests — but :
Hand me the foaming juice of the vine.
Jest and sing from your heart to mine,
38 THE KISS
And if these prove not a remedy sure.
Then a pair of red lips you must straight procure.
But if these latter avail not to save,
May I be laid deep down in the grave.
W. F. H.
In the case of lovers a kiss is everything;
that is the reason why a man stakes his all
for a kiss. In Enthousiastne Aarestrup
3ays:
Ha, you're blushing-! What red roses
Deck your lips ! A man were fain to,
If a chasm yawned before him,
Straightway peril life to gain you.
W. F. H.
And man craves for it as his noblest
reward :
From beyond the high green mountains
Lamentations fraught with sadness
Issue, soft as from a girl's voice.
Then a youth the sound pursueth,
And he sees a maiden shackled
Fast in fetters thick of roses.
Then the fair maid called unto him :
*' Doughty youth, come here and help me ;
V\\ be to you as a sister."
But the youth straightway made answer :
"In my home I have a sister."
" Doughty youth, come here and help me,
For a brother-in-law Til choose thee."
LOVE KISSES 39
Then the lad again made answer :
" In my home I have that title."
'^ Come, young hero, and assist me,
And ril be thy heart's beloved."
Quickly kissed he then the maiden
Ere he loosed her from her fetters,
Then went homeward with his bride.
W. F. H.
Thus runs a Servian ballad, and innumer-
able analogues to it are to be found in the
folk-lore of other countries, in ballads as well
as tales. It is, you know, for a kiss from the
princess's lovely mouth that the swine-herd
sells his wonderful pan.
But women are aware, too, of the witchery
that dwells on their lips, and the power
that lies in their kiss. According to a
remarkable saga which forms the subject of
one of Heine s poems, King Harald H^rfager
sits at the bottom of the sea in captivity to a
mermaid. The king's head is reposing on
her bosom ; but, suddenly, a violent tremor
thrills him, he hears the Viking shouts which
reach him from above, he starts from his
dream of love and groans and sighs :
And then the King from the depth of his heart
Begins sobbing, and wailing, and sighing.
When quickly the water-fay over hini bends,
With loving kisses replying.
ii) THE KISS
Man is the slave of the kiss ; by a kiss
woman tames the fiercest man ; by nic<ins of
a kiss man's will becomes as wax. Our
peasant girls in Denmark know this, too,
right well When they want one of the lads
to do them a service they promise him '* seven
sweet kisses and a bit of white sugar on
Whitsunday morning." ** But he will get
neither/' they say to themselves.
Now, as we have discussed the kiss and
\iH iniporlancc as the direct expression of
love and croiic emotions, we will pass over to
certain more special aspects of its nature.
In the very first place, then, we have the
(|uantitative conditions.
It is a matter of common knowledge that
lovers are liberal in the extreme in the ques-
tion of kisses, which arc given and taken to
infinity^ and these have likewise continually
the same intoxicating freshness as at the
first meeting. Everything in love is, you
know, u reiteration, and yet love is a j^r-
|H^tual a^H^wing, How inspiriting are the
wonls of Tox'c to King Waldemar, as J. P.
luooUson ^ivos them :
Aik) now 1 sty fv^r the tin>t time :
*^ Kiiig Yohner, 1 low thee,"
LOVE KISSES 41
And kiss thee now for the first time,
And fling mine arms round thee ;
But should you say I've said this before,
And you to kisses are fain,
Then say I : " King, he's but a fool
Who minds such trifles vain."
W. F. H.
What has a love kiss to do with the law
of renewal? That one does not arrive at
anything by one kiss is expressed with suffi-
cient plainness in an Istro-Rounianian proverb :
Cit tm trat busni mt se afla muliere (with a
single kiss no woman is caught).
This maxim holds good besides in the
case of both men and women. But how
many kisses are necessary then }
There is a little Greek folk-song called
**A11 good things are three." It runs as
follows :
Your first kiss brought me near to the grave,
Your second kiss came my life to save ;
But if a third kiss youUl bestow.
Not even death can bring me woe.
W. F. 11.
But, nevertheless, we may assume without
a shadow of a doubt that he was not satisfied
with these three kisses — lovers are not wont
to be so easily contented. The Spaniards
and many other nations besides say of lovers
that ** they eat each other up with kisses;"
42 THE KISS
but more than three are certainly required for
that purpose:
Take this kiss and a thousand more, my darling,
W. F. H.
sings Aarestrup, but Catullus outbids him,
however, in one of his songs to Lesbia :
A thousand kisses ; add five score :
Another thousand kisses more ;
Then best forget them all,
Lest any wight with evil eye
Our too close counting might espy,
And dire mishap befall.* W. F. H.
As we see, Catullus love has no trifling start
over Aarestrup's, and so a later poet seems
likewise to think that even his demands are
quite ridiculously small. ** Nay," says Joachim
du Bellay to his Columbelle, "give me as many
kisses as there are flowers on the mead, seeds
on the field, and grapes in the vineyards, and
so that you shall not deem me ungrateful, I
will immediately give you as many again."
Du Bellay, moreover, bitterly upbraids the
poet of Verona for asking for so few kisses
that they can, when taken together, be counted :
In truth Catullus' wants are small.
And little can they really mean.
Since he could even count them all.
W. F. H.
* From "Various Verses," 1893.
LOVE KISSES 43
I must, however, take Catullus' part to a
certain extent; he is not so precise in his
demands of Lesbia as Uu Bellay makes out ;
in another poem he asks her:
Thy kisses dost thou bid me count,
And tell thee, Lesbia, what amount
My rage for love and thee could tire.
And satisfy and cloy desire ?
And the answer runs :
Many as grains of Libyan sand
Upon Cyrene*s spicy land
From prescient Ammon's sultry dome
To sacred Battus* ancient tomb ;
Many as stars that silent ken
At night the stolen loves of men.
Yes, when the kisses thou shalt kiss
Have reached a number vast as this,
Then may desire at length be stayed.
And e'en my madness be allayed :
Then when infinity defies
The calculations of the wise ;
Nor evil voice's deadly charm,
Can work the unknown number harm.
This being the case, it is a divine bless-
ing that, according to the Finnish saying,
"the mouth is not torn by being kissed, nor
the hand by being squeezed " :
Suu ei kulu suudellessa,
Kasi katta annellessa.
44 THE KISS
But even if the mouth is not exactly torn,
yet much kissin<j^ may be ahiiost harmful ;
but there is only one remedy to be found for
this — "you must heal the hurts by fresh
kisses."
Dorat, who may be regarded as a high
authority on philematology, expressly says :
A second kiss can physic
The evil the first has wrought.
W. F. H.
And Heine, whose authority in these ques-
tions should hardly be inferior, holds quite
the same theory :
If you have kissed my lips quite sore,
Then kiss them whole again ;
If we till evening meet no more,
Then hurry will be vain.
You have still yet the whole, whole night,
My dearest heart, know this :
One can in such a long, long night,
Kiss much and taste much bliss.
I make use of the last of the verses
quoted as a transition to the next question
we have to investigate, viz., the qualitative
aspect of kissing, as I regard it apart from
its merely gustative qualities, which have
already been considered.
LOVE KISSES 45
The love kiss gleams like a cut diamond
with a thousand hues ; it is eternally chang-
ing as the sun s shimmer on the waves, and
expresses the most diverse states and moods,
ranging from humble affection to burning
desire.
The love kiss *' quenches the fire of the
lips," quells and stills longing and desire, but
it also burns and arouses regret. Margaret
sits at her spinning-wheel, and, in tremu-
lous longing, calls to mind Faust's ardent
kiss :
My peace is gone,
My heart is sore :
'Tis gone for ever
And evermore.
And the magic flow
Of his talk, the bliss
In the clasp of his hand,
And, oh, his kiss I
My bosom yearns
For him alone ;
Ah, dared I clasp him,
And hold, and own I
And kiss his mouth,
To heart's desire.
And on his kisses
At last expire I
46 THE KISS
Numberless poets have varied the theme
of the quenching yet burning kisses of
love.
O'er me flows in streams delicious
Kisses' rosy and glowing rain,
W. F. H.
sings Waldemar at his meeting with Tove,
and Aarestrup laments :
In vain I'm seeking
In eVry land,
Thy sweetness burning
Of mouth and hand.
W. F. H.
This "burning sweetness" seems to be an
indubitable characteristic of a genuine love
kiss ; we even find it again in Heine :
The world's an ass, the world can't see,
Thy character not knowing.
It knows not how sweet thy kisses be,
How rapturously glowing.
The emotions consequent on the first kiss
have been described in the old naive, but,
nevertheless, exceedingly delicate love-story,
of Daphnis and Chloe. As a reward Chloe
has bestowed a kiss on Daphnis — an innocent
young-maid's kiss, but it has on him the
effect of an electrical shock :
i
LOVE KISSES 47
"Ye gods, what are my feelings. Her
lips are softer than the rose's leaf, her mouth
is sweet as honey, and her kiss inflicts on
me more pain than a bee's sting. I have
often kissed my kids, I have often kissed my
lambs, but never have I known aught like
this. My pulse is beating fast, my heart
throbs, it is as if I were about to suffocate,
yet, nevertheless, I want to have another
kiss. Strange, never-suspected pain! Has
Chloe, I wonder, drunk some poisonous
draught ere she kissed me? How comes it
that she herself has not died of it?"
Impelled, as it were, by some irresistible
force, Daphnis wanders back to Chloe; he
finds her asleep, but dares not awake her :
** See how her eyes slumber and her mouth
breathes. The scent of apple-blossoms is
not so delicious as her breath. But I dare
not kiss her. Her kiss stings me to the
heart, and drives me as mad as if I had eaten
fresh honey." Daphnis* fear of kisses dis-
appears, however, later on, directly his
simplicity has made room for greater self-
consciousness. That a kiss is like the sting
of a bee, or pains like a wound, is a
metaphor which many poets have used, and
48 THE KISS
the metaphor comes undoubtedly near the
truth. With growing passion, kisses become
mad and violent :
Thy ruby lips, they kissed so wild,
So madly, so soul-disturbing ;
W. F. H.
and such kisses leave marks behind them.
Aarestrup's mistress has beautiful plump
shoulders :
They curve, as of a goddess,
So naked and so bold.
I'll brand your comely shoulders,
Such guerdon have they earned !
Look where my lips enfevered
Have scars of crimson burned.
W. F. H.
Mafiz' mistress is afraid that **his too
hot kisses will char her delicate lips." With
continually increasing desire kisses grow
more and more voluptuous, and assume
forms which have been celebrated by poets
of antiquity and the Renaissance. Many
burning, erotic verses have been composed on
the subject columbatim labra conserere^ or
kissing as doves kiss.
LOVE KISSES 49
Kisses at last grow into bites. Mirabeau,
in a love-letter to Sophie, writes : " I am
kissing you and biting you all over, et
jalottx de ta blancheur je te couvre de
sufons'' ; and the classic poets often speak
of the tiny red marks on cheeks or lips, neck
or shoulders, which the lovers' morsiuncuUe
have left behind.
Arethusa writes to Lycas : " What keeps
you till now so long away from me? Oh,
suffer no young girl to print the mark of her
teeth on your neck." The Italians use the
expression baciare co' denti (kiss with the
teeth) to signify "to love." We can only
treat these kisses as a sort of transitional
link, of shorter or longer duration, according
to circumstances. They arc, as it were, **a
sea fraught with perils," which in Mile, de
Scudery s celebrated letter (la carte de tendre),
carries one to strange countries {les terres
inconnues) \ but, as these countries lie out-
side the regions of pure philematology, I
shall not pursue my investigations further.
I will, however, first quote what old Ovid
has written, although I am not at all prepared
to assert that his opinion is entitled to have
any special weight, more especially as it is
D
50 THE KISS
far from being unimpeachable from a moral
point of view :
Oscula qui sumpsit, si non et cetera sumet,
Haec quoque quae data sunt perdere dignus erit.
Quantum defuerat pleno post oscula voto ?
Heu mihi rusticitas, non pudor ille fiiit.*
After the foregoing it would seem super-
fluous to enter into a closer investigation of —
if the term be allowed — the topographical
aspects of kissing. The love kiss is, as you
are aware, properly directed towards the
mouth — a fact sufficiently known, and in
testimony of which I have, moreover, brought
forward a number of passages from respect-
able and trustworthy writers. I shall only
add a German " Sinngedicht *' of Friedrich
von Logau :
If you will kiss, then kiss the mouth,
All other sorts are but half blisses,
The face — ah, no — nor hand, neck, breast,
The mouth alone can give back kisses.
W. F. H.
Von Logau's vindication of the mouth as
the only place that ought to be kissed is
* He who a kiss has snatched and takes naught more,
Deserves to lose the kiss he has in store,
How much was lacking to my perfect bliss ?
Not modesty but clownishness was this.
W. F. 11.
LOVE KISSES 51
extremely logical, and, I take it, from a
purely theoretical point of view, unobjec-
tionable; but, practically, the case is quite
the contrary. The royal trottvlre, Thibaut
de Champagne, treats in a lengthy poem —
one of the so-called jeux-partis — the question
whether one should kiss ones mistress's
mouth or feet. Baudouin's opinion is in
favour of kissing her on the mouth, and he
gives his reasons for it at some length ; but
Thibaut replies, that he who kisses his
darling on the mouth has no love for her,
because that is the way one kisses any little
shepherdess one comes across ; it is only by
kissing her feet that a lover shows his affec-
tion, and it is by such means alone that her
favour is to be won.
The question of feet or mouth is threshed
out minutely by the two contending parties,
who at last agree in the opinion that one
ought to kiss both parts, beginning with
the feet and ending with the mouth.
It cannot be denied that Thibaut de
Champagne has a far better insight into
the matter than Von Logau, and yet even
the old French poet's point of view must be
characterised as being somewhat narrow.
52 THE KISS
All the other poets, you must know, teach
us that not only the mouth, but every part
of our sweetheart's body says, "Kiss me,"
Friends, if it only were my fate !
If fate would will it so,
I'd kiss her beauties small and great
From bosom down to toe.
W. F. H.
So sings Aarestrup, and he returns again
and again to the same idea in his ritorneller:
When scarce the mouth can longer feel such fooling,
Because thy lips are all too hotly burning,
Press Ihcni to bosom \s Alpine snows for cooling.
The arms so white and tender woo caresses ;
A lovely pleasance, too, those plump white shoulders !
But through the soul a bosom-kiss straight presses.
Her snow-white shoulders ! All what may be said on
Such beauty I have uttered. For my guerdon
Grant me one now to rest my weary head on.
At kisses pressed upon your neck's fair closes
You thrilled and threw your head back, and I
straightway
Planted upon your throat my kisses' roses.
About my darling I am wheeling, flying,
Like to a gadfly round a lily's chalice,
Buzzing until in nectar-cup mute dying.
W. F. H.
Allow me also to call your attention to a
pretty little myth which Dorat composed
LOVE KISSES 53
about a *'kiss in the bosom's Alpine snow."
The kiss is a fair rose, and roses bloom
everywhere in these tracks ; through witch-
craft two vigorous rosebuds sprouted forth
on woman's white bosom:
Le bouton d'un beau sein est eclos du baiser ;
Une rose y fleurit pour y inarquer sa trace ;
Fier de I'avoir fait naitrci il aime k s*y fixer.
But if the object of one s affection is not
within reach, and oscula corporalia are, for
that reason, practically impossible, her image
may be kissed, as a French song naively
says :
I will make a portrait gay,
Like lo Ihcc, set in a locket ;
Kiss it five score times a day
Guard it safely in my pocket.
W. F. H.
But if one is not fortunate enough to
possess an image of the object of one's affec-
tion, then anything that has in any way been
associated with, or is reminiscent of, him or
her may be kissed. Tovelille exults to King
Volmer :
For all my roses I've kissed to death
Whilst thinking, dear love, of thee.
W. F. H.
54 THE KISS
But F. RUckert sings with pain and
mockery :
With fervour the hard stone Vm kissing,
For your heart is as hard as a stone.
W. F. H.
Such oscula impropria are often mentioned
by ancient as well as modern poets. Pro-
pertius (I. i6) says:
Ah, oft I've hither sped with verse to greet
Thee, leaning on thy steps with kisses pressed.
How often, traitress, turning towards the street,
Tve laid in secret garlands on thy crest.
W. F. H.
Eighteen hundred years afterwards Dorat
writes :
I kiss the kindly blades of grass
Because they have approached your charms :
The sands o*er which your footsteps pass,
And leafy boughs that stretched their arms
To hide our happiness, dear lass.
W. F. H.
Lovers often send each other kisses through
the air, as in B6ranger's well-known song on
the detestable Spring :
We loved before we ever met ;
Our kisses crossed athwart the air.
W. F. H.
But should the distance be too great for
such a platonic interchange of kisses, certain
LOVE KISSES 55
small, obliging postilions d' amour are em-
ployed. Heine uses his poems for that
purpose :
O would that all my verses
Were kisses light and sweet :
I'd send them all in secret
My sweetheart's checks to greet.
While the young girl in Runeberg has re-
course to a rose that has just blossomed :
Through the grove amidst the blooming flow'rets
Walked the bonnie maiden unattended,
And she plucked a new-born rose, exclaiming :
* Lovely flow'ret, if you'd only wings on,
1 would send you to my well-beloved
When I'd fastened just two tiny greetings
Lightly on your right wing and your left wing ;
One should bid him cover you with kisses,
And the other send you back to me soon.'
W. F. H.
But however much poets may clothe with
grace such kisses sent and received by post —
and it cannot be denied that many of them are
extraordinarily charming from a poetical point
of view — they are, and must be, nevertheless,
in reality only certain mean substitutes with
which lovers in the long run cannot feel fully
satisfied. '*The kiss," says the practical
Frenchmen, "is a fruit which one ought to
pluck from the tree itself*' (Z^ baiser est un
5G THE KISS
fruit qvHil faut ctteilUr sur farbre). Kisses
ought to be given, as they should be taken,
in secret ; only in such case have they their
full freshness, their intoxicating power. Heine
says of such :
Kisses that one steals in darkness,
And in darkness then returns —
How such kisses fire the spirit.
If with ardent love it burns !
No profane eyes should see them : they only
concern the pair of lovers — none other in the
whole world. Secrecy and silence must rest
over these kisses, as over all else that regards
the soul of love, so that the butterfly's wings
may not lose their delicate down.
The strait-laced Cato degraded a senator
of the name of Manilius for having kissed
his wife in broad daylight and in his
daughter's presence. Plutarch, however, con-
siders the punishment excessive, but adds :
** How disgusting it is in any case to kiss in
the presence of third parties." Clement of
Alexandria, one of the Fathers of the Church,
endorses this opinion, and exhorts all married
people to refrain from kissing one another
before their servants.
All delicate - minded persons must un-
LOVE KISSES 57
doubtedly sympathise with the ancient ascetic
conception in proportion as they unconsciously
follow it in practice. A kiss to or from a
woman we love is a far too delicate
pledge of affection to bear the gaze of
strangers.
How many engaged couples would, do you
suppose, find favour in Cato's eyes? How
often do they not by their behaviour offend
the commonest notions of decency? Their
kisses and caresses, which ought to be their
secret possession, they expose quite uncon-
cernedly to the sight of all One evening at
a large party I saw a young girl ostentatiously
kiss on the mouth the gentleman to whom she
was engaged. Cato would certainly turn in
his grave if he knew that such immodest
behaviour was actually tolerated by people
of refinement and position ; and how disgusted
and indignant he would be — unless, indeed,
he preferred to smile — at the sight of the duty-
kisses after dinner, which are often exchanged
between man and wife at dinner-parties. Ah,
yes, when the belly's full. . . . ! How war-
ranted is Kierkegaard's satire on the conjugal
domestic kiss with which husband and wife,
in lack of a napkin, wipe each other's mouth
58 TFIE KISS
after meals. On the lips of youth alone you
reap the sweetest harvests :
Sur les l^vres de la jeunesse
Tu fais les plus douces moissons.
(Dor at).
The young maiden will only give her love-
kiss to her sweetheart, the stalwart swain ;
an old suitor is spurned with scorn. The
lovely Mara, white and red, walked by the
spring and tended her sheep:
See an old, old suitor comes riding up on horseback,
Shouting : " God's peace be thine, fair Mara, white and
red.
Tell me, canst thou offer me a draught of cold clear
water ;
Tell me, can the basil ever verdant here be gathered,
And may I snatch a kiss from thee, fair Mara, white and
red ? " W. F. H.
But straightway comes the answer from
fair Mara, white and red :
'* I charge thee, old, old suitor, to horse and ride hence
quickly.
No drink is here thy portion from the fountain cold and
clear,
And the ever -verdant basil by thee shall not be
gathered,
Nor durst thou snatch a kiss from me, fair Mara, white and
red.»' W. F. H.
LOVE KISSES 59
Again, fair Mara, white and red, walked by
the spring and tended her sheep :
See n young and handsome suitor conies riding up on
horseback,
Sliouting : " God's peace be thine, fair Mara, white and
red.
Tell me, canst thou offer me a draught of cold clear water ;
Tell me, can the basil ever verdant here be gathered,
And may I snatch a kiss from thee, fair Mara, white and
red?" W. F. H.
But Straightway comes the answer from fair
Mara, white and red :
*' I charge thee, handsome laddie, to horse and ride hence
quickly,
Wouldst thou drink of this cool fountain, thou must
hither come some morning.
For cold and dear's the water in the hours of early dawn.
Woutdsl thou gather from the bushes, thou must hither
come at mid-day.
For the flower-trees smell the sweetest about the noon-
tide hour.
Wouldst thou kiss the beauteous Mara, then hither come
at evening.
At evening sighs each maiden who finds herself alone."
W. F. H.
In another Servian ballad we find the same
glorification of the stalwart young lover, the
same contempt for, and detestation of, old men
who go a-wooing.
High upon a mountain's slope once stood a maiden,
Mirroring her lovely image in the stream.
60 THE KISS
And her image in these words addressing :
* Image fraught to me with so much sadness
Had I known a time was ever coming
When thou shouldst be kissed by agM lover,
Then amidst the green hills I had wandered,
Gathering with my hands their bitter herbage,
Squeezing out of it its acrid juices,
Washed thee then therewith that thou should'st savour
Bitterly wheresoe'r the old man kissed thee.'
' O my lovely image, had I known that
Thou wert fated for a young man's kisses,
I had hurried to the verdant meadows,
Gathered all the roses in the meadows,
Squeezing from the roses their sweet juices,
Laved thee with them, O mine image, that thou
Savoured of fragrance wheresoe'r he kissed thee.'
W. F. H.
A kiss must be given and taken in frank,
joyous affection. To have recourse to violence
is unknightly, unlovely, and despicable in the
highest degree. This is a sphere vrherein
the brutal axiom regarding the right of the
stronger can never hold good. An Albanian
folk-song tells us of a young man who is
in search of a young maiden with whom he is
in love ; he finds her at a brook, and, against
her will, kisses her mouth and cheeks. Filled
with shame, the young maiden tries to wash
away the kisses in the brook, but its water
is dyed red, and "when the women in the
LOVE KISSES 61
neighbouring village come thither to wash their
clothes, the latter turn red instead of white.
And, in the gardens watered with water from
the brook, scarlet flowers sprout up; and the
birds which drank of the water thereof lost
their power of song."
This ballad shows us, in burning words, how
deeply a man outrages a woman when he
kisses her against the dictates of her heart.
A Southern imagination alone can find an
expression so sublime and poetical : in French
it runs simply and frankly : Un baiser nest
rien, quand le coeur est muet. In Teutonic
countries it is expressed somewhat more
awkwardly. In Denmark [Xioplc say: Kys
vied gevalt er <eg uden salt (a kiss snatched by
force is as an egg without salt) ; and in
Germany still less elegantly : Ein aufgezwung-
ener Kuss ist wie ein Hilhneraug am Fuss
(like a corn on one s foot).
The question of kissing by main force can
be treated not only from an ethical, but also
from a juristic point of view. Holberg relates
that in Naples the individual who kissed in
the street a woman against her will was
punished by not being allowed to approach
within thirty miles distance of the spot where
62 THE KISS
the outrage had taken place; and a German
jurist wrote in the end of the eighteenth century,
a minute and extremely solid treatise on the
remedy that a woman has against a man who
kisses her against her will {Van dem Rechte
des Frauenzimmcrs gegen eine Mannpersmi,
die es wider seinen Willen kilsset). The author
begins by classifying kisses ; he distinguishes
between lawful and unlawful kisses, and frames
the following classification : —
Kisses are either
1. — Lawful,
A. As spiritual kisses.
B. As kisses of reconciliation and kisses of
peace.
C. As customary kisses ; partly,
a. By way of salutation.
1. At meeting.
2. On arrival.
3. At departure ; partly,
b. As mark of courtesy.
c. In jest.
D. As kisses of respect.
E. As kisses on festive occasions.
F. As kisses of love :
a. Between married people.
LOVE KISSES 63
j8. Between such as are engaged to be
married,
y. Between parents and children.
8. Between relations.
€. Between intimate friends ; or,
II. — Unlawful, when they are given —
A. Out of treachery or malice.
B. Out of lust.
After this particularly happy attempt to
reduce kissing to a system, our jurist maintains
the view that all depends on the person who
kisses and the person who is kissed.
If, for instance, a peasant or a vulgar citizen
takes such a liberty as to kiss a noble and
high-born lady against her will, her claim
against the aggressor ought to be far greater
than it would be in the case of one of less
ignoble descent ; but, on the other hand, if
Hans steals from his Greta "an informal,
hearty, rustic kiss," and she complains to the
authorities about it, there will scarcely be any
grounds for litigation.
On the whole, says he, a kiss between indi-
viduals of the same position in society is not
to be regarded as a tort, and he more closely
64 THE KISS
defines how he arrives at this conception. 1 1
can only be actionable in the case of a party
having some consciously unchaste intention
when he kissed, or in the case of an osculum
luxuriosum or libidinosum — in such cases only
can a verdict be brought in of what, according
to Roman law, is termed crimen osculatiants,
and in no other case can the wrong-doer be
punished by fine or imprisonment, propter vol-
untatem pemtciosa libidinis. The punishment,
however, should be proportioned in severity
according to the rank of the injured party.
In the case of a nun or a married woman
it ought to be most severe ; less severe if the
lady be unmarried but betrothed, and mildest
when she is neither married nor betrothed.
But if the unchaste intention cannot be
distinctly proved, the woman has no grounds
for complaining of any sort, and, in accordance
with the procedure of the German courts, the
kiss is to be considered innocent till the con-
trary is proved.
Our jurist thus takes a really liberal view in
the case of a " kiss taken by force " ; he may
almost be said to regard it as cine grosse
Kleinigheit (an unimportant trifle).
With regard to the question of a woman s
LOVE KISSES 66 ^
right to defend herself in such cases, he is of
opinion that she is justified in repulsing the
insulter by a box on the ears, but only if the
offence amounts to crimen osculattonis^ and
this box on the ears may not be inflicted with
"the fist of an Amazon," as, by such re-
quital, she easily loses her right to take legal
action in the matter. She must, above all, be
careful that the box on the ears be not exces-
sive {die Ohrfeige proportionirlich einzukleiden\
as otherwise the man can bring an action
against her; consequently the woman ought
to use her right of self-defence with great
caution.
Our jurist concludes with considerations of
cases when the woman who has been kissed
forfeits all claims, viz., when, for instance, by
look or gestures she says, " I should like to
see the man who would dare to kiss me," and,
by such conduct, obviously exposes herself to
the danger.
Holberg has also occupied himself with this
question, and tells the following story in one
of his epistles (No. 199) : —
*' Last week I was at a party where a curious
incident happened. A person stole up to a
lady and gave her a kiss unexpectedly. The
E
66 THE KISS
Vestal virgin took this douceur in such ill part
that, in her wrath, she gave him a sound box
on the ears. He gave a start, and every one
expected he was going to pay her back in the
same coin ; but, to show his respect for the
fair sex, he made a low bow, and kissed the
very hand that had but lately struck him.
All present praised this act of courtesy, on
his part." Holberg, on the contrary, does not
commend the man's politeness ; like the
German jurist, he sees nothing wrong about
a kiss — indeed, he even goes so far as to say
that the young man ought to have given the
maiden a box on the ears in return. This
coarse way of looking at the subject from a
bachelor s point of view is wittily defended in
the following rather startling way :
** I candidly confess that if anything of the
kind had happened to me I should have
returned the good lady's salutation in the
same way, and that not out of anger or desire
of being revenged, but for the purpose of
showing the courtesy with which one ought
to treat a woman; for kissing the lady
on the hand which has boxed his ears is
equivalent to saying : * As you are a feeble
creature of no importance, and cannot hurt me,
LOVE KISSES 67
your act deserves ridicule rather than revenge
or rage/ No sensible woman can be pleased
with such a compliment, as there is nothing
worse than being treated like a puppet ; and
I hope no maid or matron will take this
opinion of mine in ill part, but will rather
regard it as a proof of the justice I have always
shown to women by always taking them
seriously. A kiss is nothing but a salutation,
and cannot be looked on as anything else.
We are no longer living in the golden age,
when a young lady almost fainted at hearing
the word pronounced."
English ladies regard the matter from quite
another point of view. In 1837 Mr Thomas
Saverland brought an action against Miss
Caroline Newton, who had bitten a piece out
of his nose for his having tried to kiss her by
way of a joke. The defendant was acquitted,
and the judge laid it down that "when a
man kisses a woman against her will she
is fully entitled to bite his nose, if she so
pleases." — " And eat it up, if she has a fancy
that way," added a jocular barrister half aloud.
Let us next consider how the thing stands
when it is apparently only a question of a
kiss snatched by force — for it is, you know,
68 THE KISS
a matter of general knowledge that a woman's
** No " IS not always to be taken seriously.
The refusal may, you know, be merely feigned.
The maiden's " No " is the swain's " Yes,"
Peder Syv teaches us, and Runeberg, who also
understood women, says : —
Ev'ry girl is fond of kisses,
Though she may pretend to scorn them.
W. F. H.
If one is now convinced that the German
proverb which says : Auf ein Weibes Ztinge
ist Nein nicht Nein (On a woman's tongue
" no " is not ** no "), what then ? Well, but
how the point is to be finally settled is not
satisfactorily explained by the authorities
within my reach ; and this is the reason why I
dare not pronounce an opinion on the ques-
tion at issue. But I am convinced that the
momentary difficulty will afford the man the
necessary diplomatic qualities as well as the
requisite tact. There is only one thing I
can lay down for certain, viz., that if a man
follows his natural simplicity and reserve,
and takes the girl's feigned " No " seriously,
she will only laugh at him afterwards — such,
again, is woman's nature.
A well-known French chanson deals with
LOVE KISSES 69
a hunter who meets a young girl out in the
forest. Struck by her beauty, he wants to
kiss her :
And takes her by her white hand,
Intending to caress her ;
W. F. H.
but she begins to cry, and, moved by her
tears, he releases her ; but he has hardly got
clear of the wood before she begins to laugh
at him heartily, and in derision shouts after
him : ** When you Ve got hold of a quail
you ought to pluck it, and when you Ve got
hold of a girl you ought to embrace her":
Quand vous tenitz la caille,
II fallnit la pinincr.
Quand vous leiiiez la fillelte,
11 fallait IVnibrasser.
I quote these verses, for they may possibly
afford inexperienced young men some matter
for reflection.
Besides, a woman's " No " has often a
piquancy about it which lovers of a somewhat
more refined class set great store by. Even
Martial (v. 46) has expressed himself in favour
of this in a little epigram which begins thus :
While ev'ry joy I scorn, but that I snatch ;
And me thy furies more than features catch.
70 THE KISS
And Marot, who was likewise much skilled
in *' ars amandi,'' even begs his mistress not
to give him her kisses readily :
Mouth of coral, rare and bright,
That in kissing seems to bite ;
Longed-for mouth, I pray you this :
Feign deny me when you kiss.
WW • P • XJI*
Dorat has also expressed himself in favour
of such. " Promise me nine kisses," says he to
his Thais, " give me eight, and let me struggle
for the ninth."
The first eight kisses you accord
Will crown my love's felicity ;
But I shall die in joy's reward
If for the ninth a struggle be.
W. F. H.
Even if the answer is not a decided negative,
yet it can, you know, be couched in such
equivocal words as to be tantamount to neither
a permission nor a refusal. Many girls agree
with the Swedish song :
But ** yes" 's a word I will not say,
Nor will I either answer " nay."
W. F. H.
There is a saying in Jutland that runs thus :
**Maren, may I kiss you? — Guess. You
won't then, I suppose } — Guess once more ?
LOVE KISSES 71
You will ? — But how could you guess
it then?" This tallies capitally with the
following German saying : " Zwinge mich^ so
thu ich keine Silnde,'' sagte das Mddchen
(** Constrain me, so that I shall not commit
sin," said the maiden). Naturally in this case,
there can be no question of any crimen oscu-
lationis, for, as the jurists have it, volenti non
Jit injuria.
Let us finally examine all these kisses from
an ethical standpoint. We have all of us,
you know, learnt from our earliest childhood
that —
He who kisses maidens hath
A very naughty habit ;
W. F. II.
and popular belief adds, by way of warning,
that it causes sores on the mouth. Ah, yes,
that is certainly very true, but what becomes
of our childish lore in the main when we attain
to somewhat riper age? Now, only listen to
the ballad about what happened in the case
of the young Serb, in spite of all he had
learnt :
Here, so people told us,
Dwells a youth industrious,
Who from ancient volumes
Late and early studies.
72 THE KISS
As for books they tell us :
Don't vault on the saddle,
Buckle not thy sword on,
Drink no wine that fuddles,
Never kiss a maiden.
But the young man harkens
Not to what they tell him :
Keenest sword he seizes.
Hottest wine he drinketh,
Fairest maids he kisses.
W. F. H.
When so learned a man as our Serb suc-
cumbs to the tempting kiss, what is to be said
then about all the rest who are less instructed ?
And let us remember ere we sit in judgment
on any one — ^and it ought to be regarded as
peculiarly extenuating circumstances — that a
woman's mouth is a direct incentive to kiss-
ing, that it is formed, as you know, for that
purpose, asserts an old troubadour, and created
to kiss and smile : —
And when I gazed upon her red mouth sweet,
To match whose charms not Jove himself were meet,
That mouth for laughter and for kisses framed,
I fell thereof so amorous straightway
That I lacked power to do aught or to say.
W. F. H.
The roguish mouth with the white teeth and
the moist red, delicately-shaped lips say to
LOVE KISSES 73
every man who is not made of marble, " Kiss
me, kiss me " :
Her fresh mouth's playing
Seems ever saying
To kiss I am fain
Again, again.
W. F. H.
How human is Byron's wish that all women
had but one mouth so that he might kiss them
all at the same time :
That womankind had but one rosy mouth,
To kiss ihein all at once from north to south.
Runeberg has uttered a similar wish, and
with a minute account of his reasons :
I gaze on a bevy of damsels,
V\\\ gazing and gazing incessant^
The fairest of all Til be choosing.
And yet as to choice Tm uncertain ;
For one has the brightest of bright eyes,
Another girPs cheeks are more rosy,
A third one's lips are the riper.
The fourth has a heart far more tender.
There isn't a single maid lacking
A something ihal captures my senses.
There isn't one there I'd say " no" to.
Oh, would I might kiss the whole bevy !
W. F. H.
Even an ecclesiastic such as iEneas Silvius
Piccolominiy when wishing to describe how
beautiful and fascinating a young girl was,
U THE KISS
writes that " no one could see her without being
seized at once with a desire to kiss her." So
as not to shock my readers, I may mention
that he wrote this before he was made Pope
and assumed the name of Pius II.
It ought now to be taken as proved that
women — beautiful women — ^and kisses are of
a piece. It is at the same time nature's ordi-
nance, and we find it verified in all countries
and in all ages. Odin himself says, you know,
in Hdvamdl, where he instructs mortals in the
wisdom of life :
Ships are for voyages,
And shields for ward,
Sword-blades to smite,
And maids to kiss.
W. F. H.
And the Greeks sing : '* Wine belongs to
chestnuts, honey to nuts, and kisses morning
and night to young maids."
I am inclined to assume that women also
agree with this view ; certainly I have no
positive enunciation to support my assumption,
but I am able to quote a German proverb
which most assuredly points in this direction :
** IcA kann das Kilssen nicht leiden^' sagte das
M'ddchen, ^^wenn ich nicht dabei bin " (** I can-
LOVE KISSES 76
not bear kissing," said the maiden, "when I
am not taking any part in it")
Now if, in spite of all I have quoted, some
rigid moralist or other will persist that kissing
young maids is always a *' bad " habit, and if,
peradventure, a still sterner moralist will main-
tain it is a sin into the bargain, I should reply
that, in any case, it is one of those sorts of sin
that are venial. The Pope himself will not
refuse his absolution, say the Italians, and
they certainly ought to understand things in
Rome. " Kiss me," runs an Italian folk-song,
" the Pope will forgive you ; kiss me and I will
kiss you, and the Pope will forgive us both."
O bcUa figlia, o bella garzona,
Baciate me, ch^ il Papa vi perdona ;
Baciate me, ch^ io bacer6 vui,
Ch^ il Papa ci perdona tutti e dui.
If the Pope is so complaisant then, to be
sure, a subordinate servant of the Church such
as Aarcstrups Father Hugo may well say:
Child, a kiss is but a trifle,
If it*s only long and sweet.
W. F. H.
Ill
AFFECTIONATE KISSES
Seigneur, tu m'as donn^ les baisers de ma m^re,
Je te b^nis, Seigneur 1
F. £ Adam.
I bless thee, O Lord, for having given me my mother's kisses.
CHAPTER lU
AFFECTIONATE KISSES
A KISS can also express feelings from which
the erotic element is excluded — feelings that
are consequently less ardent and longing,
but, most frequently, far deeper and more
lasting.
A kiss is expressive of love in the widest
and most comprehensive meaning of the word,
bringing a message of loyal affection, grati-
tude, compassion, sympathy, intense joy, and
profound sorrow. In the first place a kiss
is the expression of the deep and intense
feeling which knits parents to their off-
spring. At its entrance into the world the
little helpless infant is received by its fathers
and mothers warm kiss. In the Middle
Ages they kissed the new-born baby thrice
in the name of the Holy Trinity. And the
parent's kiss follows the child through life.
79
80 THE KISS
When Hector takes leave of his wife
Andromache he lifts his little son up into
his arms, but the child is afraid of his
fathers helmet, '*of the gleam of the copper
and the nodding crest of horse-hair."
And from his brow
Hector the casque removed, and set it down,
All glittering, on the ground ; then kissed his child,
And danced him in his arms.*
The Evangelist Luke tells the story of
the Prodigal Son's return home. ** But when
he was yet a great way off, his father saw
him, and had compassion, and ran and fell
on his neck, and kissed him."
The parent s kiss is like the good angel
which shields the child from all evil. When
Johannes in Soren Kierkegaard's For/0rerens
dagbog would describe the impression made
on him by Cordelia he says, "She looked
so young and fresh, as if nature like a tender
and opulent mother had that very instant
released her from her hand," and he goes
on to say: **It seemed to me as if I had
been witness to this farewell scene ; I marked
how the loving mother once again embraced
her and bade her farewell ; I heard her say :
* Translated by Edward, Earl of Derby.
AFFECTIONATE KISSES 81
' Go out into the world now, my child ; I
have done all for you. Now take this kiss
as a seal upon your lips ; 'tis a seal the
sanctuary preserves ; no one can break it
against your own will, but when the right
man comes, you shall understand him.' And
she presses a kiss on her lips — a kiss which,
not like a human kiss, takes aught, but a
divine kiss that gives all." The chaste purity,
which is Cordelia s halo and protection, is, as
it were, the reflection of a mother's kiss.
It is for this reason also that in the
sagas a quite irresistible power is attributed
to the parent's kiss. When Vildering, the
king's son, quits Maid Miseri and journeys
alone to his parents to tell them what has
befallen him, she implores him to be especi-
ally careful not to let his parents kiss him,
"for should that happen, you will forget me
utterly." In spite of his caution his mother
kisses him, and oblivion covers the past ;
he forgets his betrothed, who is sitting and
waiting for him in the depths of the forest.
Kisses of affection are exchanged not
only between parents and children, but be-
tween all the members of the same family;
we find them even outside the more narrow
F
82 THE KISS
family circle, everywhere where deep affec
tion unites people.
When Naomi bade her son's wife farewell,
" they lifted up their voice and wept again ;
and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law; but
Ruth clave unto her." When Moses went
to meet his father-in-law, "he did obeisance
and kissed him ; and they asked each other
of their welfare; and they came into the
tent ; " and when Jacob had wrestled with
the Lord he met Esau, ran towards him, fell
on his neck and kissed him.
The family kiss was also much in vogue
with the Romans. Propertius, in one of his
elegies, chides his mistress for inventing
quite ad libitum a whole crowd of relations
so as always to have at hand some one to
kiss her. This is how that came to pass :
In ancient times there was a so-called jus
osculiy which allowed all a woman's relations
to kiss her. There are several curious
stories about this peculiar privilege. The
old traditions, which have been solemnly
discussed by several writers, relate that
once upon a time women were forbidden to
drink wine ; the above-mentioned law must
have been instituted so that the parties
AFFECTIONATE KISSES 83
concerned should, in a pleasant and practical
way, be able to satisfy themselves about
observing the prohibition. This highly
improbable explanation has been defended
in a thesis for the degree of Doctor of
Philosophy even in the eighteenth century.
The kiss of affection is often mentioned
by the early Greeks. Odysseus, on reaching
his home, meets his faithful shepherds, dis-
closes his identity to them, and shows them,
as a certain proof, the cicatrix of a wound
that he had on one occasion received when
out hunting :
"But come, another token most manifest will T show,
Thai the tiulli in your souls may be strcnglliciied, and
my very self ye may know.
Lo the scar of the hurt, which the wood-boar with his
white tooth drave on a tide,
When with Aulolycus' children I sought Parnassus'
side ! " ♦
So saying, the rags about him from the mighty weal
he drew,
And they twain looked upon it, and all the tale they
knew ;
And they wept, and o'er wise Odysseus they cast their
hands, they twain,
And kissed his head and his shoulders, and loved him
and were fain.*
* William Morris' Translation.
84 THE KISS
In the same hearty manner the shepherd
Eumaeus received Odysseus* son on the
latter's return from his journey, and lucky
escape from the treacherous plot of the
suitors :
And on the head he kissed him, and both his eyes so
fair,
And both his hands, moreover, and he shed a mighty
tear ;
And e'en as a loving father makes much of his dear son.
Who has come from an alien country where the tenth
long year is done.
His only son and darling for whom he hath travailed
sore.
E'en so the goodly swineherd now kisseth him o*er and
o'er
Telemachus the godlike, as one escaped from death.*
He gets the same reception from his old
nurse and his mother:
But the nurse, e'en Euryclea, beheld him first of all
As the fleecy fells she was spreading o'er the painted
seats of the hall,
And, weeping, went straight toward him ; and the other
maids thereto
Of Odysseus hardy-hearted, all round about him drew,
And they kissed him and caressed him, his shoulders and
his head.*
William Morns' Translation.
AFFECTIONATE KISSES 85
Then Penelope the wise-heart from her chamber forth
she sped>
Like to golden Aphrodite or Artemis the fair,
And she cast her arms amidst weeping round her son
beloved and dear ;
And therewithal she kissed him, his head and his lovely
eyes.*
We have another famous scene of recog-
nition, but of far later date, in the old
French epic of Girart de Roussillon. Girart,
after many years' absence, returns in poverty
and sickness to France. He presents him-
self to the queen, who recognises him by
means of a ring, and, "although it was
Good Friday, she fell on Girart's neck and
kissed him seven times."
It would perhaps be superfluous to quote
more instances of the kisses of affection. We
meet with it in all ages in grave and solemn
moments, not only among those who love
each other, but also as an expression of
profound gratitude. When the Apostle Paul
took leave of the elders of the congregation
at Ephesus, ''they all wept sore, and fell
on Pauls neck and kissed him *' (Acts xx. 37).
When De Malesherbes had solicited for
himself the perilous honour of undertaking
* William Morris' Translation,
86 THE KISS
the defence of Louis XVI., that monarch
got up and, in order to show his gratitude,
kissed him publicly.
Even among persons who are utter
strangers to each other, kisses such as these
may be exchanged. The profoundest sym-
pathy with, the warmest interest in, another's
weal or woe can be instantly created.
The story of Ingeborg Vinding and Poul
Vendelbo L0ven0rn is well known. H. P.
Giessing relates it, just as he heard it, in
the following form : Poul Vendelbo, the poor
student, went one day on the ramparts
round Copenhagen, and walked with two
rich noblemen who, like himself, had matricu-
lated at the university from Horsen's School.
They happened to notice a singularly beautiful
woman sitting at the window of one of the
adjacent houses. One of the noblemen then
said half-mockingly to Vendelbo, ** Now, if
you could get a kiss from that lady, Poul,
we would defray the expenses of that tour
abroad which you are so anxious to make."
Vendelbo took him at his word, went up to
the beautiful lady, and told her how his
whole future possibly depended on her. She
then drew him towards the window, and, in
AFFECTIONATE KISSES 87
the view of the nobleman, gave him the kiss
he craved. He went abroad, and, return-
ing at last as Adjutant - General L0ven0rn,
paid the fair lady a visit. She was none
other than Ingcborg Vinding.
This is the anecdote, equally character-
istic of both parties, that Carl Ploug has
so prettily treated in his poem Et Kys (A
Kiss).
The professor's daughter is sitting alone
in the sitting-room, and ** humming a song
she has learnt by heart." Then some one
knocks at the door, and in steps young Poul
with his audacious request ; first she will
refuse him indignantly :
Ere yet a word she uttered
She raised her eyes again.
Their angry flash should wither
That overbold young swain.
But, ah, he stood so quiet,
With such a modest grace,
With features stamped with honour,
And such a noble face.
Once more the maiden's glances
Looked down, their anger dead,
And with a blush delicious
She spoke him fair instead,
88 THE KISS
^ Twas wrong indeed, I take it,
That you should boldly dare
Address a well-born maiden
By stealth with such a prayer.
^' But if your looks belie not,
You good and noble are,
And so your path to fortune
I should be loth to mar."
Then by the hand she leads him
To where the window is,
She blushes and she trembles ;
They interchange a kiss.
W. F. H.
It would be superfluous to say more about
this poem, which I suppose is the most
popular of Ploughs essays in epic narrative.
How far the anecdote is historical is un-
certain ; but with the knowledge wc have
of his and her character it cannot, in any
case, be regarded as improbable. Ploug
may thus be right when he says :
A kiss has with its gentle flame
Once kindled honour's beacon high ;
A kiss has given Denmark's fame
A hero's name that shall not die.
W. F. H.
In early French literature there is a story
somewhat akin to this; it occurs in the old
AFFECTIONATE KISSES 89
miracle play of ''La Marquise de la Gaudiney
In her husband's absence she has been falsely
accused of adultery and thrown into prison.
Nobody dares to undertake her defence when,
suddenly, a knight named Anthcnor steps
up and offers, with sword in hand, to under-
take the defence of her innocence, having
a long time back owed her a deep debt
of gratitude for having, on one occasion,
saved his life by a kiss. He himself tells
us naively and ingenuously how it happened :
**Once upon a time I found myself, as you
are aware, in peril of death ; the king suspected
me and believed I aspired to his wife's favour.
Ah, this was not the case at all, you know.
But one day he said he would believe me
if I divulged to him who my sweetheart was.
I did not know what to do, and to save my
life I said that the marquise was my amie.
He was not, however, content with this, but,
as a proof, demanded that I should take her
by the waist in his presence and ask her for a
kiss. She gave it me and thus saved me from
the snare the king had laid. I shall never
be able to repay her for what she has done
for me."
*
The kiss of affection is also bestowed on
90 THE KISS
some person or thing that excites detestation
and abhorrence.
The legends of St Martin tell us how, on
coming one day to Lutetia, followed by a
great crowd of people, he caught sight of a
leper at the gate of the city, who was so
terrible an object to look at that everybody
turned away from him with loathing. To
give those who followed him a lesson in
Christian charity, he went up to the poor
sick man, kissed and blessed him, and on the
following morning the latter was cured as by
a miracle.
It is just through overcoming oneself in
respect to that which is intrinsically foul and
repugnant that this kiss gets its high signifi-
cance and dignity. St Francis of Assisi had
bidden farewell to an existence of luxury,
bestowed his wealth on the necessitous,
and lived the life of a beggar, but his con-
version was still incomplete ; he did not
become ripe for his great work of charity
until he had overcome his repugnance to
the leprous. One day, when out riding, he
met one of these wretched sufferers, whose
whole body was like a great open wound,
and he reined his horse aside in disgust ; but
AFFECriONATE KISSES 91
shame overtook him at once, he leapt off his
horse, spoke kindly to the sick man, gave
him what money he had, and kissed both
his hands. Such is the account given by
the historical chronicles, but the legend goes
on to say that the leper immediately after-
wards vanished : it was Christ Himself who
wished, in this wise, to bestow His benediction
on the noble and beautiful life s work of the
saint.
The kiss of affection also plays an import-
ant part in folk-poetry ; that alone has power
to cast off spells, that alone breaks all the
bonds of witchcraft and sorcery, and is able
to restore man to his original shape.
in the Scotch ballad of Kempion we are
told how the Earl of Estmereland's daughter
is persecuted by her wicked stepmother, who
at last by magic arts changes her into a
snake :
Cum heir, cum heir, ye freely feed
And lay your head low on my knee ;
The heaviest weird I will you read,
That ever was read to gay ladye.
O meikle dolour sail ye dree,
And aye the salt seas o'er ye'se swim ;
And far mair dolour sail ye dree,
On Estmere crags, when ye them climb.
92 THE KISS
" I weired ye to a fiery beasts
And relieved sail ye never be,
Till Kenipion, the king's son,
Cum to the crag, and thrice kiss thee.''
O meikle dolour did she dree,
And aye the salt seas o'er she swam ;
And far mair dolour did she dree
On Estmere crags, when she them clamb.
And aye she cried for Kempion^
Gin he would but come to her hand.
At last Kempion hears her voice, and straight-
way rows towards the foot of the mountain :
Out of my styllic I wiinia rise,
• • » » » »
Till Kempion, the king's son.
Cum to the crag, and thrice kiss me ;
implores the snake ; but Kempion dares not.
The snake coils in and out, and the mountain
is aflame; at last Kempion summons all his
courage :
He's louted him o'er the lofty crag.
And he has given her kisses three ;
Awa she gaed, and again she cam,
The loveh'est ladyc e'er could be !
The same subject is found in the ballads
of other countries. In the Danish Jo7nfruen
i ormekam the young maiden has been
changed into a little snake, compelled to
AFFECTIONATE KISSES 93
wriggle in the grass. However, the knight
Jennus conies :
It was the brave knight Jennus ;
Forth to the greenwood he hies.
As o'er the grass he rideth,
A little snake he espies.
It was the brave knight Jennus ;
Over his saddle he lay.
He kissed the little serpent ;
A maiden it turned straightway.
It was the brave knight Jennus ;
Troth to the maid he did plight.
He bade them keep his wedding
For both with much delight.
W. F. H.
In another ballad the maiden has been
turned by her stepmother into a lime-tree,
and makes her moan :
She changed me into a lime-tree, and
She bade me e'en in the greenwood stand.
She bade me stand and hope for no bote,
Until a king's son should kiss my root.
Here have I tarried for years full ^wej
Nor kissed me has any king's son alive.
Here have I tarried for years now ten.
Nor has a king's son kissed me since then.
W. F. H.
But at last the hour of her freedom arrives ;
94 THE KISS
the king's daughter has heard the lime-tree's
lamentation, and she sends a message to her
brother, who comes at once :
He hoisted his silken sail of red,
And o'er the salt sea on he sped.
The knight on his back a red cloak threw,
And fared to the lime-tree without ado.
He kissed himself the lime-tree's feet,
Which straight became a maiden sweet.
W. F. H.
Corresponding poetical stories of the re-
deeming power of the kiss are to be found
in the literature of many countries, especially,
for example, in the Old French Arthurian
romances [Lancelot^ Guiglain^ Tirant le blanc)
in which the princess is changed by evil arts
into a dreadful dragon, and can only resume
her human shape in the case of a knight
being brave enough to kiss her. This kiss
is called le fier baiser. From French the
subject migrated to Italian literature, in
which it was taken up and made use of first
in CarduinOy later on in Boiardos Orlando
innamorato. The hero, after many perilous
adventures, reaches an enchanted castle
where a young and beautiful maiden is sitting
AFFECTIONATE KISSES 95
by a tomb. She tells him she can be released
if he will venture to lift the stone from the
tomb and kiss what then appears. Without
giving it a second thought, the knight opens
the tomb, and a horrible serpent with hissing
tongue and venomous breath darts forth.
Trembling with fear, he fulfils his promise,
and that very instant the monster is trans-
formed into a lovely fairy who overwhelms
her benefactor with recompenses. This motif
formed the subject of a drama in the last
century by Gozzi in La donna serpente : fiaba
teatrale tragicomica.
Finally many folk-stories on this subject
may be quoted. In the tale of '* Beauty and
the Beast," the transformed prince begged
the young maiden he had carried off on his
back for a kiss. **No," answered she, "how-
could I kiss you who are so ugly and have
seven horns on your forehead ."^^ Then the
beast went its way, and she saw it no more
till one day she found it lying dead under a
bush in the garden, whereupon she wept as
she had never wept before, and cast herself
down on the beast and kissed it. Then it
returned to life, and the ugly beast became
the handsomest prince her eyes could see.
96 THE KISS
He then told her that he had been bewitched
by a wicked fairy, and could not be delivered
unless a maid fell in love with him and kissed
him, despite his ugliness.
In this case the kiss redeems from death,
and likewise death itself is nothing more than
a great kiss of affection. When a human
being quits this earthly life it is God who
takes His child in His arms, kisses it, and
carries it away from earth to brighter and
more blissful spheres.
This highly poetical and beautiful concep-
tion of death has found expression in Italian,
where, instead of the word "die," one can
say, **fall asleep in the Lords kiss" {addor-
mentarsi nel bacio del Signore\ And this
has got flesh and blood in an old legend of
the saints, where it is told of St Monica that,
as she lay dying on her couch, a little child
whom nobody knew came and kissed her on
her breast, and straightway, as if the child
had called her, she bowed her head and
breathed forth her last sigh.
The kiss of affection follows man even after
death ; with a kiss one takes leave of the
lifeless body.
In Genesis we read that when Jacob was
AFFECTIONATE KISSES 97
dead, "Joseph fell upon his father's face and
wept upon him and kissed him '* ; and it is
told of Abu Bekr, Mahomet's first disciple,
father-in-law, and successor, that, when the
prophet was dead, he went into the latter's
tent, uncovered his face, and kissed him.
In the curious poem of Bdde Tyges0ns
dSdsridt^ when the knight's horse carries his
corpse back to his betrothed, it is said :
She lifted up his gory head,
And raised it to her lips to kiss ;
She swooned away, and fell back dead,
In very sooth, as she did this.
W. F. H.
In ancient times lovers always demanded
of each other this act of love. "When the
alabaster box, filled with Syrian perfume,
has been poured out over my dead body,
then do thou, O Cynthia, press thy last kisses
on my cold lips," sings Proper tius in one of
his elegies :
Osculaque in gelidis pones suprema labellis,
Cum dabitur Syrio munere plenus onyx.
Propertius iii. 4, 29, 30.
And the same wish is expressed by Tibullus
(L, i. 61, 62) :
Flebis et arsuro positum me, Delia, lecto,
Tristibus et lacrymis oscula mixta dabis.
G
98 THE KISS
" You'll weep for me, dear Delia, ere flames have caught
my bier,
And mingle with your kisses full many a bitter tear."
W. F. H.
The death-kiss is something so natural that
it is superfluous to point out its existence
amongst different nations. It was not only a
mark of love, but it was also an article of
belief that the soul might be detained for a
brief while by such a kiss. Ovid, in his
Tristia, laments over his joyless existence in
Tomis, whither Augustus had banished him,
and is in despair because, when the hour of
death approaches, he will not have his be-
loved wife by his side to detain his fleeting
spirit by her kisses mingled with tears.
The kiss is the last tender proof of love
bestowed on one we have loved, and was
believed, in ancient times, to follow mankind
to the nether world. Even in our own days,
popular belief in many places demands that
the nearest relative shall kiss the corpses
forehead ere the coffin lid is screwed down ;
in certain parts, indeed, it is incumbent on
every one who sees a dead body to kiss it,
otherwise he will get no peace for the dead.
IV
THE KISS OF PEACE
Salute invicem in osculo sancto.
Pauli Epist cui Romanes^ xvi. i6.
Salute one another with an holy kiss.
CHAPTER IV
THE KISS OF PEACE
The kiss, as expressive of deep, spiritual love,
alsa came to figure in the primitive Christian
Church.
Christ has said : " Peace be with you, my
peace I give you," and the members of
Christ's Church gave each other peace
symbolically through a kiss. St Paul re-
peatedly speaks of the "holy kiss" i^lXtiiJM
ayi^v), and, in his Epistle to the Romans,
writes : ** Salute one another with an holy
kiss " ; and he reiterates this exhortation in
both his Epistles to the Corinthians (i, xvi. 20,
and 2, xiii. 12), and his first Epistle to the
Thcssalonians (v. 26), wherein he says : "Greet
all the brethren with an holy kiss."
The holy kiss has gradually found admis-
sion into the ritual of the Church, and was
imparted on occasions of particular solemnity,
such as baptism, marriage, confession, ordina-
m
102 THE KISS
tion, obsequies, etc, etc At a wedding the
ceremony was as follows : On the conclusion
of High Mass and after the Agnus Dei had
been chanted, the bridegroom went up to the
altar and received the kiss of pe*ice from the
priest After this he returned to his wife,
and gave her the priest's kiss of peace at
the foot of the crucifix. Reminiscences of
this rite still survive in several churches in
England.
The holy kiss played an important part
even at the Mass ; in the Greek Church it
was imparted before, in the Roman Catholic
Church after, the consecration of the elements.
The priest kissed the penitent, and through
this kiss gave him peace ; this was the true
kiss of peace (psailum pacts). We have a
peculiar memorial of this in Old Irish, where
the word pdc, which is derived from the
Latin pax, means "kiss," — not "peace."
This change of meaning must, 1 suppose, be
attributed partly to a misunderstanding of
the priest's words when he kissed the
penitent : Pacem do tibi (Peace I give unto
thee), i,e., people understood the kiss as the
chief thing, and thought pacem referred to
that, The same peculiarity is again to be
THE KISS OF PEACE 103
met with in mediaeval Spanish, where paz
has also the meaning of "kiss." In an
ancient romance which relates how Fernando
dubbed the Cid a knight, it says at the end,
** He buckled a sword on his waist, and gave
him 'peace' (/.^., a kiss) on the mouth" :
El rey le ciAo 4a-€9pada
-Paz eti la boca le ha dado.
The holy kiss occurs even in the early
Christian love-feasts, the so-called ayaTrar, and «*,
indeed was often exchanged in the church
itself by all the faithful without regard to
sex, which gave the heathen cause for
scandal, and its use was restricted so that
only men kissed men, and women, women.
The kiss of peace was in vogue in France
down to the thirteenth century. We find it
in the story about a very unpleasant incident
to which Queen Margaret, the wife of St
Louis, was exposed. One day when she was
in church and the kiss of pciicc was to be
imparted, she saw close beside her a woman
in splendid apparel, and taking the latter to
be a lady of rank, she gave her the kiss of
peace. It turned out, however, that the
queen had made a mistake; she had kissed
104 THE KISS
one of the common courtesans who always
swarmed about the Court. She then com-
plained to the king, the consequence of which
was that certain ordinances were drawn up
with respect to the dress of women of that
class, in order to render all confusion with
respectable women henceforward impossible.
The kiss of peace in the churches seems
to have been abolished in the latter part of the
Middle Ages, at different times in different
countries.
In the middle of the thirteenth century
a special instrument for conveying the kiss
was introduced into England — the so-called
osculatorium or tabella pacts, which was
composed of a metal disc with a holy
picture, and was passed round the church
to be kissed.
From the English Church the osculatory
was gradually introduced into other churches,
but nowhere does it appear to have contrived
to rejoice in any particularly long stay. In
various ways it gave occasion to scandal.
It was provocative of contention and strife
in the church itself, when people of position
quarrelled violently as to whom the honour
belonged of kissing it first. Contentions as
THE KISS OF PEACE 106
to precedence at church are».^ ^ s w e see, of
long standing.
It seems also to have served as a sort of
profane intermediary between lovers. When
a young and beautiful girl kissed it she had
close beside her a fine young fellow who
waited impatiently to take it directly from
her hand and lips. We read in one of
Marot's poems :
I told the maid that she was fair ;
I've kissed the Pax just after her.
W. FrH:
Through the use of the osculatory, the
well-known custom of gallants such as, from
the Greek romances and Ovid, existed in
ancient times, was revived — Huet calls it
elegans urbanitatis genus — when the lover
drank out of the goblet from the very place
which the beloved one's lips had touched.
Formerly a sort of pax was employed even
in Danish churches. The Catholic priests
showed the people **a picture in a book" (of
course the picture of some saint), and this
picture was kissed by the congregation ; for
which purpose a small fee termed "kiss-
money" or "book-money" was handed to
the parish clerk.
106 THE KISS
Even after the use of the pax had been
abolished by the Reformation, the "book-
money," as a customary due to the clerk, was
retained. But at a congress at Roskilde in
1565, parish clerks were forbidden to demand
this fee.
The holy kiss is still imparted in the Greek
Church on Easter Sunday ; all the faithful greet
each other in church with kisses, and the
words, "Christ is risen," the reply to which
being, "Verily, He hath risen." In the Roman
Catholic liturgy this usage has been confined
to certain masses, and the holy kiss is only
exchanged among the clergy, not among the
members of the congregation. First, the
bishop and archdeacon kiss the altar, then
the archdeacon kneels down and the bishop
gives him the kiss of peace with the words :
Pax tibi^f rater ^ et ecclesue sanctce /?«' (Peace
be with thee, brother, and with God's Holy
Church). The archdeacon answers : Et cum
spiritu tuo (And with thy spirit), after which he
gets up, genuflects towards the altar, and
carries the kiss of peace to the chief canon,
whom he kisses on the left cheek with the
words pax tibi^ and thus it is sent round to
THE KISS OF PEACE 107
all the officiating clergy with many different
ceremonies.
The holy kiss soon spread beyond the walls
of the church, and came into usage even in
secular festivities. Thus, during the Middle
Ages, it was the custom to seal the reconci-
liation and pacification of enemies by a kiss.
The old German poets mention such a kiss
under the name of *' Vredekuss," and so wide-
spread was the custom of the kiss of reconcilia-
tion, that the verb at sonCy or udsone^ got the
meaning of **to kiss." SSnen has still this
meaning in Frisian.
In an old French miracle-play St Bernard
of Clairvaux says to Count William and the
Bishop of Poitiers, who had had a long-stand-
ing feud with each other, and between whom
he had managed to make peace : "In order
to show that your friendship is true and
sincere, you must kiss each other." Count
William then goes up to the bishop, saying :
** My lord, I crave your forgiveness for the
wrong I have inflicted on you ; I have erred
greatly towards you. Kiss me now to seal
our peace, and I will kiss you with loyal
heart."
Even knights gave each other the kiss of
108 THE KISS
peace before proceeding to the combat, and
forgave one another all real or imaginary
wrongs.
In Covenant Vivien, Vivien exchanges the
kiss of peace with Girart and six other illus-
trious warriors before the great fight with
King Desram6 begins.
Manzoni has made use of the kiss of peace
in the pathetic scene in / promessi Sposi (The
Betrothed), when Fra Cristoforo obtains for-
giveness from the nobleman whose son he has
slain. The nobleman receives the monk in
his palace. Surrounded by all his relations,
he stands in the middle of his great hall, with
left hand on his sword-hilt, whilst with his
right he holds a flap of his cloak pressed
against his chest. Cold and stern, he gazes
contemptuously and with suppressed wrath at
the novice as he enters, but the latter exhibits
such touching remorse and noble humility
that the nobleman, there and then, abandons
his stiffness. He raises up the kneeling
brother himself, grants him his forgiveness,
and, finally, ** carried away by the emotion that
prevailed, he threw his arms round the latter's
neck, and gave and received the kiss of peace."
After the Middle Ages the kiss of peace
THE KISS OF PEACE 109
disappears altogether as the official token of
reconciliation ; solitary instances, indeed, can
certainly be quoted from Catherine of Medici's
Court, but they are rather to be regarded as
studied efforts to re-introduce an old and
abandoned usage. After the murder of
Francis de Guise in 1 563, his widow and
brother meet Admiral de Coligny; the latter
swore that he had not the least suspicion
of the assassin's plot, whereupon they kiss
each other, and mutually promise to forget
all enmities, and henceforward to live in peace
and harmony, i This kiss of peace was as
powerless to revive the old custom as Lam-
ourettes memorable attempt at the time of
the Revolution. On the 7th July 1792, when
the quarrel amongst the members of the
Legislative Assembly had reached a terrible
height, at the time when the Austrian and
Prussian armies were marching on Paris,
Lamourette got up and made a fervent
patriotic speech, in which, in the most moving
terms, he exhorted all the members of the
Assembly to sink their differences. He finished
by saying : " Let us forget all dissension and
swear everlasting fraternity " — ei jtirons-nous
fratcrnitd dlcrnclle^ and the deputies at once
no THE KISS
fell into each other's arms, and in a universal
kiss of reconciliation every one forgave each
other's wrongs. But this unity did not last
long. The quarrels began again the following
day, and two years afterwards Lamourette
himself died by the guillotine ; but the ex-
pression, a kiss of Lamourette — un baiser de
Lamourette — still survives in the French
language as a half ironical term for a short-
lived reconciliation.
V
THE KISS OF RESPECT
Les rois des nations, devant toi prostern^s,
De tes pieds baisent la poussi&re.
RACmE— A tAa/ie,
The kings of the Gentiles, prostrate before thee, kiss the
dust of thy feet.
CHAPTER V
THE KISS OF RESPECT
Margaret of Scotland, who was betrothed
to Charles the Seventh's son, the Dauphin
Louis (afterwards Louis XL), one day walked
through a hall where Alain Chartier was
sitting asleep in a chair. On perceiving the
sleeping poet, she went up to him and kissed
him on the lips. Many of her suite were
astonished at this, " for nature had, so far as
Chartier was concerned, suffered a beautiful
and rich mind to take up its abode in an ugly
body." The princess replied that they were
not to marvel at what she had done, for it was
not the man she had kissed, but the mouth
from which so many golden words had pro-
ceeded. Margaret's kiss was therefore an
expression of the respect she had for the
poet, and the admiration and regard inspired
by his poetical genius. A little further back
in the Middle Ages we meet with another
ns H
lU THE KISS
Striking instance of a kiss as expressive of
veneration ; but this kiss is of a more humble
nature. We are told that, when the Emperor
Otto I. had taken leave of his pious mother
in the church attached to a monastery, the
latter followed him with her eyes as long" as
she could, and then returned to the church
and kissed the place whereon his feet had
stood.
The kiss of veneration is of ancient origin ;
from the remotest times we find it applied to
all that is holy, noble, and worshipful — to the
gods, their statues, temples, and altars, as well
as to kings and emperors ; out of reverence,
people even kissed the ground, and both sun
and moon were greeted with kisses.
In the first book of Kings God says to Elijah :
'* Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel,
all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal,
and every mouth which hath not kissed him "
(xix. 1 8).
In the thirty-first chapter of Job, Job extols
his own piety : ** If I beheld the sun when it
shined, or the moon walking in brightness ;
and my heart hath been secretly enticed, or my
mouth hath kissed my hand" (26, 27). Here,
undoubtedly, allusion is made to the kissing of
THE KISS OF RESPECT 115
hands whereby the heathen were wont to salute
the heavenly bodies.
When the prophet Hosea laments over the
idolatry of the children of Israel, he says that
they make molten images of calves and kiss
them.
Even in remote classical times a similar
homage was paid to the gods ; people kissed
the hands, knees, and feet, even the mouths,
of their idols. Cicero informs us, in one of his
speeches against Verres, that the lips and
beard of the famous statue of Hercules at
Agrigentum were worn away by the kisses of
devotees.
Bayle tells us, in reference to this passage,
that a physician was asked one day why it was
that a bronze face could, in this manner, be
worn away through being kissed, whereas, on
the other hand, kisses did not leave the
slightest trace on the countenance of the most
fashionable courtesan. His answer was that
the reason, he supposed, was that statues were
kissed for centuries, but that the woman in
question was only kissed for a very few years,
viz., so long as her beauty lasted. This ex-
planation was, however, considered unsatis-
factory, and the physician's attention was
116 THE KISS
called to the fact that soft flesh must be far
sooner worn away than hard bronze ; besides,
lover's kisses being considerably more violent
than those of mere respect. The physician
then urged another reason, viz., that which
kisses wear away from bronze lips is lost for
ever, but that which is worn away from living
lips is immediately replaced by renewal of
tissue in the body.
The kiss of veneration came to play a very
important part in Christian society. St Luke
the Evangelist tells us that when Christ sat at
meat in the Pharisee's house there came a
woman who had been a great sinner, bringing
with her a vase of ointment. ** And stood at
his feet behind him weeping, and began to
wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them
with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet,
and anointed them with the ointment " (vii. 38).
When the Pharisee wondered at His having
allowed such a woman to touch Him, He
rebuked him by the parable of the two debtors,
and added, '* Thou gavest me no kiss, but this
woman since the time I came in hath not ceased
to kiss my feet. My head with oil thou didst
not anoint, but this woman hath anointed my
feet with ointment."
THE KISS OF RESPECT 117
Again in the Psalms, ** Kiss the Son, lest
he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when
his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are
all they that put their trust in him/*
C. H. Spurgeon used these lines as the text
of a sermon he preached in the ** Music Hall,"
London, on the 3rd of July 1859, in which
he did his utmost to make his congregation
understand what is meant by saying we are
to **kiss Christ." "The kiss," says he, "is a
mark of worship ; to kiss Christ is at the
same time to recognise Him as God, and to
pay Him divine worship. The kiss is a mark
of homage and subjection ; we ought likewise
to acknowledge Christ as our King, and pro-
mise to follow blindly His behests. The kiss is
a sign of reconciliation ; we ought to show that
we are reconciled with God. Lastly, the kiss is
the greatest of all tokens of love ; to kiss Christ
is therefore only a figurative way of expressing
to love Him with deep and fervent love."* ^
As the woman that was a sinner showed
her reverence for Christ by kissing His feet,
so all saintly men and women henceforward
were honoured in a like manner. They were
saluted humbly by kisses on their hands or
* Retranslated from the Danish of the Text.
118 THE KISS
feet, and the legend goes that he who kissed
the hand of St Dominic never afterwards
committed sin. In many countries, more
especially in Southern Italy, kissing the
hands of the priest is still customary.
The kiss reverential was extended to every-
thing that was holy, or had been consecrated
to sacred purposes.
People kissed the Cross with the image of
the Crucified, and such kissing of the Cross
is always regarded as a particularly holy act.
in many countries it is required, on taking
an oath, as the highest asseveration that the
witness is speaking the truth, and as a last
act of charity, the image of the Redeemer is
handed to the dying or death- condemned to
be kissed. Kissing the Cross brings blessing
and happiness. In the south of France people
used formerly, in moments of difficulty or
danger, when no Cross was at hand, to kiss
their thumbs laid in the form of a cross.
When devout Catholics salute the Pope by
humbly kissing his slipper, they are fond of
explaining away this greeting. They say
that it is not to be taken as any personal
homage paid to the Pope ; the kiss having
nothing to do with his slipper, but the cross
THE KISS OF RESPECT 119
which is embroidered on it. Therefore Christ
it is to whom they are prostrating them-
selves. This idea, however, is undoubtedly a
later fancy ; the kiss on the slipper ought, I
take it, more correctly to be considered as
humble homage to the Pope as primate of
the Church, and such, therefore, must be the
view the Pope himself holds, since he has,
times without number, exempted cardinals
and other persons of high rank from kissing
his slipper. The number of kings and
ambassadors who, in the course of time, have
refused to submit to this ceremony, have
undoubtedly regarded it as a humiliation ; and
popular conception bears this out thoroughly.
To **kiss the slipper" has become in many
languages synonymous with a low and
unworthy cringing. In the old German war-
song against Charles V., we find :
Ah, think the whole imperial race
Through Popery fell in sore disgrace
And German might was riven.
Will you for all their knavery
To slipper-kiss be given ?
W. F. H.
People kiss the image of Our Lady. The
legend tells us that John of Antioch even
dared to kiss Mary^s mouth, and this kiss
120 THE KISS
gave him wisdom and great eloquence, and
spread a golden glory round his mouth, hence
his surname Chrysostom (golden mouth).*
People kiss the pictures and statues of
saints. Down in St Peters church in Rome
there is a remarkable old bronze figure of
St Peter, which is said to date from the fifth
century, and the faithful have, in all ages,
shown the highest veneration to this image,
in consequence of which a great part of the
right foot has been gradually kissed away.
Even nowadays the kiss bestowed on the
pictures of the saints plays an enormous part
in the Roman Catholic, but more particularly
in the Greek Church. Not only their
pictures, but even their relics are kissed ;
they make both soul and body whole. St
Balbina obtained forgiveness for her sins by
kissing St Peter's chains, and Pascals niece
was cured of a disease in her eyes by kissing
one of the thorns of Christ's Crown. This
cure, the historical authenticity of which is,
however, somewhat doubtful, made a great
* We have here a striking example of how legends arise.
John, the Father of the Church, got the epithet "golden-
mouth" on account of his great eloquence ; but the people
sought another more concrete explanation, if I may use the
term, of that name, the metaphorical use of which they failed
to comprehend.
THE KISS OF RESPECT 121
sensation, and provoked a violent controversy
between the Jansenists and Jesuits.
Besides, there are legends innumerable of
sick people regaining their health by kissing
relics ; innumerable, too, are the satires which
arose by reason of abuses in respect to cures
which were achieved with relics genuine and
false. One of the best known is perhaps the
mediaival story of The Monks Breeches.
A Franciscan friar was a very intimate
friend of a merchant in Orleans and his wife
— especially of the latter. One evening the
merchant returned home unexpectedly from a
journey, and the friar, who had tried to the
best of his ability to entertain the wife in
the husbands absence, for certain circum-
stances which were capable of being mis-
understood, thought it wisest to disappear as
quick as possible ; but in his haste he forgot
his breeches. The merchant, however, did
not notice anything ; the night was dark,
and next morning he even put on the friars
breeches instead of his own. On coming
back home from his oflfice in the afternoon
— he had long discovered his mistake — he
demanded, with violent and hasty words, an
explanation from his wife; but the latter,
122 THE KISS
who had discovered at once in the morn-
ing what had happened, hurriedly sent a
messenger to the friar to consult with him
as to what was to be done. According to
their arrangement she answered her husband
very calmly :
" My dear friend, don't fly into a passion ;
you ought to thank me instead of quarrelling
with me. You know we have no children,
and we have tried everything — but all in vain.
Now 1 heard that St Francis* breeches could
work miracles, even of that sort, and that
is why I had them fetched for you. Take
them off now, for I expect some one from
the monastery will be coming for them
directly." The poor man in his delight
quickly got out of his breeches, and directly
he had done so there came a knocking at the
door. It was the friar, followed by a
choir boy carrying holy-water and a censer.
He had come to fetch the precious relic of
the monastery, and inquisitive neighbours
flocked in from all quarters. He wrapped
the breeches reverently up in a white hand-
cloth, and sprinkled them with holy-water
while the boy incensed them, after which he
lifted up the sacred bundle. Meanwhile all fell
THE KISS OF RESPECT 123
on their knees, and after pronouncing a
panegyric on St Francis, he himself carried
round the breeches so that the people who
had assembled might kiss them. This they
did with deep piety and emotion, more especi-
ally the honest and grateful merchant
This little story afforded much merriment
in the Middle Ages. People found much
enjoyment in its burlesque humour, and never
got tired of hearing it. It occurs as 6, fabliau^
a farce, and a story, and belongs to the
facetia with which the Pope's Secretary,
Poggio, amused his friends in // Bugiale (The
Lie Manufactory).
Even as regards the great ones of this
world the kiss used to serve in various ways
as a mark of humility and reverence. Its
use in ancient times was remarkably wide-
spread ; people threw themselves down on
the ground before their rulers, kissed their
footprints, literally "licked the dust,*' as it is
termed. In the Psalms, Solomon sings of the
promised King : ** They that dwell in the
wilderness shall bow before him ; and his
enemies shall lick the dust " ; and the prophet
Isaiah says : ** Kings shall be thy nursing
fathers, and queens thy nursing mothers :
124 THE KISS
they shall bow clown to thcc with their face
before the earth and lick up the dust of thy
feet" (xlix. 23).
They kissed not only the ground under the
powerful, but also their feet, knees, hands, or
the hem of their garments.
Certain Roman Emperors adopted these
oriental usages. Thus Caligula ordered people
to kiss his hands and feet, and even in the
Middle Ages the custom of kissing the feet
of kings was in vogue.
Nearly everywhere, wheresoever an inferior
meets a superior, we observe the kiss of
respect. The Roman slaves kissed the hands
of their masters ; pupils and soldiers those
of their teachers and captains respectively.
During the Middle Ages the vassal paid
homage to his feudal lord by a kiss on the
hand or foot, hence the expression devoir la
bouche et les mains. It is well-known what
befell Charles the Simple when Rollo, the
Norman chieftain, had to pay him feudal
homage. The proud Viking would not bow
down to the king, but laid hold of the latter s
feet and lifted them up to his mouth, whereat
the king, amidst the laughter of the spectators,
tumbled down. Thus the scene is depicted
THE KISS OF RESPECT 125
briefly and graphically in the Roman de
Rou : —
Quant baisier dut le pie, baisier ne le deigna,
La main tendi aual, le pie al rei leua,
A sa bouche le traist e le rei enuersa ;
Asez s'en ristrent tuit, e li reis se dre^a.*
They also kissed their liege lords on the
thigh, and this method of kissing can be
tniccd down to the sixteenth and seventeenth
centuries ; but the kiss on the hand was un-
doubtedly most frequently in use ; and it was
the general custom for the vassal at the same
time to hand his lord a present, which is the
reason why the word baise-main (hand-kiss)
gradually got this meaning.
If the lord was absent when the vassal
waited on him, the latter had to kiss the
door, the lock or bolt, which was regarded as
a valid substitution for kissing the hand.
From this arose the expressions, baiser Vhuis,
(the door), baiser le verrouil, (the bolt), which
were used partly as an expression of slavish
*And when he had to kiss Charles' foot — such kissing Rollo
spumed —
He thrust his hand forth downward, and to the monarch turned.
He raised the king's foot to his lips, and overturned the king,
Who quickly rose upon his feet whilst mirth around did ring.
W. F. H.
126 THE KISS
subserviency, and partly in an ironical sense
of lovers who have been rejected by their
mistresses, and thus constrained to
Kiss the door, and kiss its chains
For ladies* sake who are within. W. F. H.
As expressive not only of respect, but also
of repentance, children in former days were
made to kiss the rod by which they had been
chastised. Geiler von Keiserberg writes in
the sixteenth century: **When children are
thrashed they kiss the rods and say :
Liebe ruot, trute ruot
werestu, ich tet niemer guot.*
" They kiss the rods and jump over them, yea
they leap over them." We have a memorial of
this custom in the phrase, ** kissing the rod."
There is still one great power that we have
not mentioned, and one who demands, too,
homage by kisses, i.e., the devil ; but, in order
that the humility shown to him may be as great
as possible, he must be kissed on his behind,
i.e.y on the place where the back ceases to be
called the back. Old pictures of the Sabbath on
* Which may be freely translated :
Dear, kind rod that's trusty stood.
Without thee ne'er should I do good.
THE KISS OF RESPECT 127
Blocksberg exhibit to us his Satanic majesty,
in the guise of a goat or cat, sitting on a high
seat, while his worshippers reverently approach
and kiss him under his tail. In several
confessions of witches wc find this kiss still
more closely described: **The devil has a
big tail, and under it a sort of face, but with
this face he never speaks, as the only use
he makes of it is to let his most devoted
followers kiss the same ; for kissing this face
is regarded as an especially great honour."
This somewhat awkward kiss occurs, more-
over, in several sagas. In Harehyrden the
Jeppe gives up his magic flute to the king on
condition that the latter kisses his ass under
its tail. It can also be shown in actual life,
and we have some anecdotes from the Middle
Ages which seem to prove that the podex-Viss
was used as a derisory punishment. There
is also a story told of a merry knight, once
upon a time, compelling a party of monks
to pay their respects to their abbot in the
aforesaid less dignified way.
Kisses in ano seem also to have been
required of neophytes on their reception into
certain secret societies.
The part this kiss plays in insulting speech
128 THE KISS
ought to be sufficiently well known. The
Romans ere now spoke about lingere cuhim
or lambere nates ; the Germans more decently
say : Kilss mich da ich sitz (Kiss me where I
sit), or Er kan mich kilssen da zvo ich keine
Nase habe (lie can kiss me where I have no
nose). Frenchmen even use the last men-
tioned paraphrastic expression. It is told
in an old poem about Theodore de Beza,
whose youth was, as you are aware, a very
dissipated one, that, on one occasion, he said
of a lady that he would like to kiss her,
but he did not know how he could manage
to do so as her nose was far too long. When
the lady learnt this she wittily replied :
Pour si peu ne tenez,
Car si cela seulement vous en garde !
J*ai bien pour vous un visage sans nez.*
We have no knowledge if this offer tempted
the rigid Calvinist that was to be; but the
lady was undoubtedly young, and even if
he had not found her face so remarkably
beautiful, yet it would have been very differ-
ent had the invitation come from an old
♦ . . . Well, if you chose
With less to be content, don't stick at this.
I have for you a face without a nose.
W. F. H.
THE KISS OF RESPECT 129
crone, as the well-known saying, " baiser le cut
de la vieille'' implies the deepest ignominy
that can befall a man, at any rate a gambler
— viz., to lose without scoring a point.
There is a Jutland variant of the story
about Theodore de Beza : ** I was driving
one day with Niels Hundepenge, and we
saw at a distance a woman walking on in
front. Says Niels, 'Peter, there goes a
pretty girl ; just see what a figure, and how
she steps out.* When we got up to her
we found she was pock-marked and hideous.
Then says Niels, * Now, my girl, if you
were only as good-looking in front as you
are behind, I should want to kiss you.'
'Well, if you think so,' replied she, 'you
can kiss mc, you know, where you fancy I
am best looking."*
Allow me, in connection with this, to
call your attention to a peculiarity about
the Latin word osculum. The first syllable
OS of course signifies "mouth," the two last,
on the other hand, mean the correlative
part on the reverse side of the body. This
circumstance has been made use of in a
Latin anecdote about a married lady. An
importunate suitor asked her for a kiss,
130 THE KISS
whereupon she replied that this could not
be granted, inasmuch as the first of what
he asked absolutely belonged to her husband,
but, as she did not wish to be too hard on
him, he was welcome to have the last :
Syllaba prima inco dchctur UXa inariio,
Sume tibi reliquas, non ero dura, duas.*
In modern times the ceremonious kiss of
respect has gone clean out of fashion in the
most civilised countries ; it is only retained
in the Church, but in all other domains it
is practically unknown — so unknown, indeed,
that in many cases the practice would be
offensive or ridiculous.
Kissing the earth is another instance of
such kisses that I shall quote. It plays a
part in the old stories about Junius Brutus.
Together with King Tarquins sons he
journeyed to Delphi to consult the oracle.
The answer they received was that the
supreme power would fall to the lot of him
who first kissed his mother. Brutus then
made a pretence of stumbling, and as he fell
he kissed the earth, our common mother. A
* My first is for my husband, not for you ;
But you*re right welcome to the other two.
W. F. H.
THE KISS OF RESPECT 131
few years after this, the royal family were
expelled from Rome, and Brutus and Lucius
Turquinius were elected consuls.
People also kissed the earth for joy on
returning to their native land after a
lengthened absence. When Agamemnon
returned from the Trojan War :
Stepped he forth inwardly glad to the shore of his
well-loved country,
Kissing and kissing again his mother earth while the
scalding
Tears down his cheeks were coursing, though his heart
was brimming with blitheness.
Even nowadays people feel glad at seeing
their native country again after long absence,
but they have another way of expressing
their joy, and, without exaggeration, it would
be safe to assert that if any one returning
from a journey wished to emulate Agamemnon,
that person would undoubtedly be put down
as mad.
We find in Holberg (" Ulysses of Ithaca,"
or "A German Comedy") a parody of the
old usage, where Ulysses says : ** Let us fall
down, after the old heros fashion, and kiss
our mother earth." They fall down and kiss
the ground, but Chilian gets up hurriedly
132 THE KISS
and says : ** The deuce ! I don't really under-
stand the use of these ceremonies. Eugh,
somebody has been here before — that I can
plainly perceive."
The old custom now only survives in certain
sayings. Frenchmen use the expression baiser
la terre (to kiss the earth), jeeringly, of a
person falling ; and the German, die Erde
kilssen (to kiss the earth), is a euphemistic
way of saying "die." I may add, for the
sake of completeness, that kissing the earth
still occurs sporadically nowadays in the
sense of the profoundest humility mingled
with regret. When Raskolnikow, in Dosto-
jewski's novel of that name, has confided to
Sonja how he murdered the old usurer's wife,
he exclaims in his despair : ** And what shall
I do now?" — **What shall you do now,"
exclaims Sonja, and her eyes flash: ''Get
up, go hence at once ; station yourself at a
crossway, kneel down and kiss the earth you
have defiled, bow down thus before all the
people, and say to them : * I have committed
murder.' Then God shall give you new life."
And, finally, when Raskolnikow has deter-
mined publicly to acknowledge his crime and
denounce himself as a murderer, he falls pros-
THE KISS OF RESPECT 133
trate on his knees in the middle of the
market-place, bows down, and, amidst the
laughter and derision of the bystanders,
kisses the dirty ground with ecstasy and
delight.
In Europe, at least, we no longer kiss the
ground before the feet of the mighty, any
more than we salute them by kissing their
hands or feet ; a bow more or less gracious,
according to circumstances, serves the same
purpose generally. Nevertheless, at certain
courts, such as the Spanish, English, and
Russian, kissing the hand is still customary
as a sort of ceremonial salutation ; but its
practice is usually confined to certain solemn
occasions.
Individuals of princely rank excepted, the
kiss of respect to superiors is to be regarded
as all but extinct ; but even in the eighteenth
century, kissing the hem of their garments is
mentioned as a salutation befitting ladies of
exalted rank, and in Holbergs Politiske
Kandest0ber (the Political Pewterer), we see
how Madame Abrahamsen and Madame
Sanderus even kissed Gedske on the apron.
Kissing, as expressive of admiration, still
undoubtedly occurs, but can scarcely be said
134 THE KISS
to be particularly general ; it becomes less
and less common as we approach our own
time.
A half-ironical instance occurs in Moli^re ;
in Les Femntes Savantes Armande and Phila-
minte fall into raptures over Vadius* great
learning. Du grec ! O ciel! du grec ! II
salt du greCy ma sceur ! (Greek! good
heavens! Greek! He knows Greek, sister),
says the one, and the other answers : Du
grec! quelle douceur! (Greek! how sweet!).
In their boundless enthusiasm they ask Vadius
to let them kiss him as a mark of their admira-
tion. He accepts this salutation very politely,
if not with any particularly great joy; but
when he turns to young Henriette, from
whose lips he is especially desirous of receiv-
ing so tender an expression of admiration,
she rejects him quite abruptly with the re-
mark : ExcuseZ'tnoiy monsieur^ je nentends
pas le Grec (Excuse me, sir, I don't under-
stand Greek).
The pedantic Vadius got just what he de-
served — a kiss as dry as dust from two
middle-aged, sexless blue-stockings, which
nobody begrudges him. On the other hand,
many, perhaps, will read with envy of the
THE KISS OF RESPECT 136
homage received by Benjamin Franklin at
the French Court. Mme. de Campan, in her
M4moires, says : ** At one of the splendid
entertainments given in Franklin's honour, I
saw how the most beautiful of the three
hundred ladies present was chosen to place
a laurel crown on the white locks of the
American philosopher and imprint a kiss
on each of the old man's cheeks."
The kiss of admiration and respect has,
I suppose, been the longest to survive in the
form of kissing ladies* hands. Formerly, in
many countries, it constituted a friendly
greeting on meeting a lady or saying good-
bye to her ; but nowadays this custom has
grown obsolete in most places ; nevertheless
we have certain literary reminiscences of it.
In Austria people say Kilss die Hand, gnadige
Frau, and Sdrut mdna in Roumania, but
still it is comparatively rare that this expres-
sion is followed by actual kisses, as was
formerly the case. Je vous baise les mains is
now only used in an ironical sense in France.
Ceremonial kisses, however, still flourish in
Spain to a marked degree, not only in the
language of the Court, but also in general
conversation. When I was first presented
136 THE KISS
to a Spanish lady I expressed my gladness
at making her acquaintance by kissing her
hand — only, however, by figure of speech —
but her husband at once pointed out to me
in a laughing way, that I had failed to
show her proper respect. One can only kiss
a Spanish lady s feet : Beso cL usted los pies
or ci los pies de usted (I kiss your feet), as
they say.
Before leaving the subject of the kiss
reverential I will mention two different ways
in which it has been used. Formerly it was
the custom, at least at the French Court,
for pages to first kiss the articles they were
to hand to distinguished personages. Henri
Estienne tells an anecdote about a page who
had to carry a letter to the Princess of
Naples. It was expressly enjoined on him
to kiss it {baiseZ'la), but the page pretended
he had misunderstood the words, so when
he had to leave the letter he first kissed the
unsuspecting princess.
We find another peculiar form of the kiss
reverential in the cases when a person kisses
his own hand before offering it to the guest
he would especially honour, or before accept-
ing a present for which he wishes to show
THE KISS OF RESPECT 137
his gratitude in an extraordinarily polite
manner.*
In an old comedy of Marivaux, '^Harlequin
poli par CAmoury' a fairy falls in love with
a rustic lout. She carries him off, entertains
him in her castle, and tries in every possible
way to gain his love; but he remains utterly
callous to all her blandishments, and behaves
all the time in a most foolish manner. He
takes a fancy to a valuable ring the fairy
is wearing ; she removes it from her finger
and gives it to him, but when he scarcely
says " Thank you " for it, she says to chide
him : Mon cher ArlequiUy un beau garpon
coinme voiis, quand 7ine dame ltd presenle
qtielque chose^ doit baiser la main en la
refevant* Arlequin takes hold of the fairy s
hand and kisses it ; but she corrects him
again, and says : " He does not understand
me once, but I like his mistake. It is your
own hand, you know, that you should kiss."t
This usage still prevails amongst old
peasants in Jutland, and is termed receiving
something with ** kissed hand," or **kiss
* My dear Arlequin, a handsome lad like you, when a
l:idy olTers him anything, ought to kiss the hand when he
receives it.
t Omitted in the last edition.
138 THE KISS
hand." The expression Kusshand is also
employed in German, and is explained thus :
*'Gruss, wobei man die eigne Hand klisst
und dann nach der zu griissenden Person
hin bewegt oder sie reicht." The same sort
of greeting is found both in England and
France. Voltaire tells us that children in
certain countries are taught to kiss their
right hand when anybody gives them some-
thing good. Even at the present day, in
certain places on the Alps, peasants express
their thanks by kissing their hand before
taking what is given to them.
VI
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP
Par amistiet Ten baisat en la buche.
Chanson de Roland,
For friendship pressed a kiss upon his mouth.
W. F. H.
CHAPTER VI
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP
The kiss is also employed as a conventional
salutation between persons who only stand on
a footing of friendship or acquaintance with
each other. In our northern countries the
friendly kiss usually occurs only between
ladies, but in this instance its usage is very
widely extended. With men and women it is
properly only allowable when there is a marked
difference in age between both parties, but, on
the other hand, it seldom or never takes place
between men, with the exception, however, of
royal personages who, on solemn occasions,
are wont to greet and take leave of each other
with more or less sincere kisses of greeting and
farewell. Here we find ourselves again in a
sphere in which, alas, we have sadly fallen
away from the good old weiys. In former
times, to wit, the friendly kiss was very
141
142 THE KISS
common with us between man and man as well
as between persons of opposite sexes. In
guilds it was customary for the members to
greet each other '* with hearty handshakes and
smacking kisses," and, on the conclusion of a
meal, people thanked and kissed both their
hosts and hostesses. In a description of a
wedding in the olden time in the district of
Voer in Denmark we read:
" When they had eaten, the parish clerk got
up first, put his arms round the parson's neck,
and kissed him on the mouth, sayino^ : Tak
for mad, hr. pastor (Thanks for your hospi-
tality, sir priest). Then the parson planted
himself against a chest of drawers, and all the
women, old and young, went up to him, one
after the other, and kissed him on the mouth.
Some of the old goodies could not quite reach
him, for the priest was a big, tall man, and
they had actually to climb on to his boots,
though he stooped down to them slightly."
Peder Havg^rd said that he would not have
cared much to be in the parson's place, for it
was a mean and poor country thereabouts, and
some of the women were very shabbily-dressed
and dirty-looking.
If we glance outside Denmark it appears
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP 143
that the kiss of friendship is considerably in
vogue. In Iceland it is still a general form
of salutation, although of late years there is
said to be a certain falling off in its use ; and
every one who travels in South Germany and
Austria can study at the very first railway
station the different forms of that kind of kiss
which in those countries is specially used by
way of leave-taking ; officers and students,
farmers and merchants, all treat each other to
sounding kisses, usually on the cheek. One
can observe the same sort of thing in France,
but more especially in Italy. I can attest from
personal experience that it is looked upon as
the most natural thing in the world for people
to kiss their intimate friends when saying
good-bye, a shake of the hand being far too
cold a leave-taking beneath the warm sky of
Italy.
It is, however, undoubted that, speaking
generally, the custom of kissing, as an ordinary
greeting, has immensely declined; in ancient
times and in the Middle Ages it was much
more frequent than nowadays.
It was the common practice with the
Hebrews for acquaintances, when they met,
to kiss each other on the head, hands, and
Hi THE KISS
shoulders ; and it was assuredly with a kiss
of pretended friendship that Judas betrayed
his Master.
Even the Greeks in former times used kiss-
ing as a common salutation ; not only friends
and acquaintances kissed each other, but also
persons who quite accidentally met when they
were travelling.
The custom of kissing, however, became
less general later on. In a discourse of Dion
Chrysostomus, called I^rom Eubosa, or *'The
Hunter," is a story of a rustic conihig to the
city and meeting two acquaintances in the
assembly, whom he goes up to and kisses.
^* But," says the rustic, " people laughed pro-
digiously at my kissing them, and, on that
occasion, I learnt that it is not customary for
people of the city to kiss each other." *
Kissing seems to have been much more in
vogue with the Romans, amongst whom it
was the usual custom for people to salute each
other with a kiss on the hand, the cheek,
or the mouth. Many even scented their
mouths in order to render their kisses more
pleasing — or less unpleasant. Martial laments
* Omitted in the last edition.
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP 145
over this usage in a little epigram to Pos-
thumus :
What's this that myrrh doth still smell in thy kiss,
And that with thee no other odour is ?
*Tis doubt, my Posthumus, he that doth smell
So sweetly always, smells not very well.
This kissing of friends gradually became a
veritable nuisance to the country. Fashion
ordained that every one should give and
receive such kisses, but, in reality, every one
preferred evading them. Martial, in another
epigram to this same Posthumus, exclaims :
Posthumus late was wont to kiss
With one lip, which I loth ;
But now my plague redoubled is, —
lie kisses me with both.
and
Posthumus' kisses some must have,
And some salute his fist ;
Thy hand, good Posthumus, I crave,
If I may choose my list.
Under such frightful circumstances people
had recourse to shifts which seem almost as
unsavoury as the kisses they would escape :
Why on my chin a plaster clapped ;
Besalved my lips, that are not chapped ;
Philajnis, why ? The cause is this :
Philaenis, thee I will not kiss.
K
146 THE KISS
But such artifices, however, are of very
little use ; no one escapes the basiatores
(kissers). They prowl about the streets and
market-places ; not even the walls of the
home, nor even the enforced solitariness
of the most hidden-places served as a pro-
tection against them :
There are no means the kissing tribe to shun,
They meet you, stop you, after you they run,
Press you before, behind, to each side cleave,
No place, no time, no men, exempted leave ;
A dropping nose, salved lips, can none reprieve.
Gangrenes, foul running sores, no one relieve ;
They kiss you in a sweat, or starved with cold,
Lovers' their mistress' kisses cannot hold ;
A chair is no defence, with curtains guarded,
With door and windows shut, and closely warded,
The kissers, through a chink will find a way,
Presume the tribune, consul's self, to stay ;
Nor can the awful rods, or Lictor's mace.
His stounding voice away these kissers chase.
But they'll ascend the Rostra, curule chair,
The judges kiss while they give sentence there.
Those laugh they kiss, and those that sigh and weep ;
'Tis all the same whether you laugh or weep ;
Those who do bathe, or recreate in pool,
Who are withdrawn to ease themselves at stool.
Against this plague I know no fence but this :
Make him thy friend whom thou abhorr'st to kiss.
All greet one another with kisses ; every con-
dition of life, every handicraft, found a repre-
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP U7
sentative amongst the basiatores. When a man,
in ancient times, was afraid of meeting his
tailor, it was not so much on account of the
latter's bill as by reason of his kisses.
'* Rome," says Martial, *' gives, on ones
return after fifteen years' absence, such a
number of kisses as exceeds those given by
Lesbia to Catullus. Every neighbour, every
hairy-faced farmer, presses on you with a
strongly-scented kiss. Here the weaver assails
you, there the fuller and cobbler, who has
just been kissing leather ; here the owner of
a filthy beard, and a one-eyed gentleman ;
there one with bleared eyes, and fellows
whose mouths arc defiled with all manner
of abominations. It was hardly worth while
to return."
People kissed whenever they met : morning
and evening, at all seasons of the year :
spring and autumn, summer and winter. The
winter kisses seem to have been especially
unpleasant, and Martial censures them, in
the strongest terms, in his epigram to Linus :
'Tis winter, and December's horrid cold
Makes all things stark ; yet, Linus, thou lay'st hold
On all thou meet'st ; none can thy clutches miss ;
But with thy frozen mouth all Rome dost kiss.
us THE KISS
What could'st more spiteful do, or more severe,
Had'st tiiou a blow o' ih' face, or box o' th' ear ?
My wife, this time, to kiss me does forbear,
My daughter, too, however debonaire.
But thou more trim and sweeter art. No doubt
Th' icicles, hanging at thy dog-like snout.
The congealed snivel dangling on thy beard.
Ranker than th' oldest goat of all the herd.
The nastiest mouth i' th' town I'd rather greet.
Than with thy flowing frozen nostrils meet.
If therefore thou hast either shame or sense.
Till April comes no kisses more dispense.
That Martial's epigrams depict the actual
state of the case without any particular
exaggeration it may, among other things, be
inferred from the fact that the Emperor
Tiberius, according to Suetonius, issued an
edict against these cotidiana oscula (daily
kisses).
The friendly kiss was likewise much in
vogue in the Middle Ages.
In La Chanson de Roland the Saracen king
receives Ganelon with a kiss on the neck,
and then displayed to him his treasures :
Quant I'ot Marsilies, si Tad baisiet el' col ;
Pois, si cumencet ^ uvrir ses tr^sors.
(603).
And Ganelon salutes the Saracen chiefs in
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP 149
the same way, and "they kissed each other
on face and chin " :
** Bien serat fait " — li quens Guenes respunt ;
Pois, se baisierent es vis e es mentuns.
(625, 628).
The friendly kiss is, on the whole, pretty
often mentioned in the Old French epics.
**Out of friendship he kissed him on the
mouth " is a verse that frequently recurs :
Par Vamisiiet Ven baisat en la bucke.
The kiss of friendship was also exchanged
between the opposite sexes. It was the
general custom for ladies to salute with a
kiss any stranger whether he came as an
ambassador, expected guest, or a chance
passer-by. In the old French mystery-play
of St Bernard de Menton, the Lord of Miolan
is sitting one day with his wife and daughters
in the hall of his castle, when a squire steps
in and announces that some strangers have
arrived. The lord of the castle receives them
courteously, bids them welcome in God's
name, and at once orders his wife do her
duty to them. She, too, bids them welcome,
and kisses them ; at last it comes to the
turn of the little girls, who assure their
150 THE KISS
father that they know their duty right well,
and are even willing to perform it :
A vostre bon commaiidement
Les bayserons et festoyrons,
Trestons le myeulx que nous pourrons,
Mon seigneur, a vostre talent.
Which may be rendered thus :
As it is your orders dear,
We will kiss and make good cheer.
All, so far as in us lies,
Since your wishes that comprise.
W. F. H.
Whereupon they kiss the strange gentle-
men. In the poem of ** Huon de Bordeaux"
we are told how Huon's mother, the Duchess
of Bordeaux, receives the French king's
embassy with kisses. The queen, in Marie
de France's Lai de Graelan, sends an
ambassador after Graelan to make his
acquaintance, and, when he arrives, goes to
meet him, and kisses him on the mouth.
In other Romance countries, too, kissing
serves as a common mode of greeting, which
fact can be incidentally substantiated by
means of philology, inasmuch as the Latin
verb salutare (* to greet ') both in Spanish and
Roumanian, and partially in French, has
acquired the meaning of 'to kiss.*
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP 151
When Abengalvon, in the old Poetna del
Cid^ meets Minaya Alvar Faflez, he advances
smilingly towards him in order to kiss him,
and he "greets" him on the shoulder, "for
such was his wont " :
Sonrisando de la boca, ibalo abrazar,
£n el ombro lo saluda, ca tal es su usaje.
The expression "to greet on the mouth"
likewise occurs many times ; but also the
verb saliidar ('to hail') is also used alone,
as in the Roumanian sdruta, to express *to
kiss.'
Even in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries
the friendly kiss flourished in France. When
Leo Rozmital, the Bohemian nobleman, paid
his respects to Louis XL at Meung-sur-
Loire, the king led him to the queen, and
both she and all the ladies of her court
kissed him on the mouth.
We get further information in a letter
from Annibale Caro dated 29th October,
1544. It is addressed to the Duke of Palma,
and describes the visit of the French Queen
E16onore to the Emperor Charles V. in
Brussels. "When we met," says he, "the
ceremony of reception with kissing of the
162 THE KISS
ladies was, in the highest degree, interesting ;
it seemed as if I had been present at the
Rape of the Sabines. Not only the higher
nobility, but even all the rest took each his
lady, and the Spaniards and Neapolitans
were the most eager. It gave rise to much
merriment when the Countess of Vertus,
Charlotte de Pisseleu, was observed to lean
over her saddle to such an extent, in order
to kiss the Emperor, that she slid off her
horse, and kissed the earth instead of His
Majesty's mouth. The Emperor hurried up
to her assistance, and with a smile kissed
her heartily {e ridendo la bacih saporitamente).
Directly afterwards Duke Ottavio rode up,
jumped quickly off his horse, and the
Emperor himself conducted him to the
Queen's carriage, and there he was presented
to the distinguished ladies. The Duke kissed
the Queen's hand and was about to remount
his charger, but the Emperor called him
back, and told him that he ought also to
kiss Mdme. d'Etampes, who was sitting right
opposite to the Queen in the carriage. Like
a good Frenchman, he exceeded the Emperor's
order and kissed her on the mouth."
A vast quantity of other evidence goes to
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP
show how general was the friendly
salutation even during the Renj
especially among the upper classes.
Estienne satirises it in his Apolog
Hdrodote. " Kisses arc allowed," wi
''m France between noblemen and
yfhtihtv they do or do not belong
same family. If a high-born dam
chuYch, and any fop of her acqu
com^s, s\iQ must, m conformity with tl
^YGW'jAXiwg \\\ good society, get up,
sh^ be absorbed in the deepest devot
\iiss him on the mouth."
Even Montaigne expresses his dis
of such a state of things. '* It is,"
'*a highly reprehensible custom tha
should be obliged to offer their
every one who has a couple of lackey
heels, however undesirable he may
we men are no gainers thereby, for
to kiss fifty ugly women to thra
ones."
None the less, the friendly kiss
ground right through the seventee;
even a part of the eighteenth
Moliere*s marquesses kiss each othe
ever they meet ; for instance, in the
154 THE KISS
eleventh scene in Les Prdcieuses ridictiles,
when Mascarille and Jodclct fall into each
other's arms with many warm kisses. In
Le Misanthrope Alceste reproaches Philinte
with embracing and kissing every one, and
*'when I ask you who it is, you scarcely
know his name ! "
Vous chargez la fureur de vos embrassements ;
Et quand je vous demande apr^s, quel est cet homme,
A peine pouvez-vous dire comme il se nonime.
La Bruy^re has, time after time, satirised
this foolish custom, which, especially at
Court, seems to have assumed colossal
dimensions ; but even in middle-class circles
etiquette required men to salute ladies with a
kiss.
In an old comedy entitled Le Gentilhomme
gziespin a father presents his son, who is extra-
ordinarily awkward and clumsy. The latter
does not know how he ought to behave to
the ladies of the house, so the father in
despair gives him a dig in the ribs, and
whispers in his ear : " He's bashful. Kiss
the lady. One always greets a lady with a
kiss."
... II est honteux. L^, baisez done Madame ;
C^st toujours en baisant qu'on salue une femnie,
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP 165
MoH^re has made use of this scene in Le
Malade imaginaire, where Thomas Diafoirus
pedanticly asks when he is introduced to
Angelique : Baiserai-je ? (Am I to kiss ?).
In England we come across pretty nearly
the same state of thing. Erasmus of
Rotterdam, in one of his EpistolcB famtltares^
expresses his great satisfaction with English
customs : " When you arrive every one kisses
you ; at your departure they bid you good-
bye and kiss you ; you come back, then fresh
kisses. You are kissed when you meet
any one, and so, too, when you separate.
Wheresoever you go everything is filled with
kisses, and if you have only once tasted how
delicate these kisses are, and the delicious-
ness of their savour, you would want, my
dear Faustus, to be banished to England
for time and eternity." In another passage,
where Erasmus is speaking of the state of
the inns in England, which he mentions in
terms of unqualified praise, he winds up as
follows : ** Everywhere at the inns one meets
with pretty, smiling girls : they come and
ask for one's soiled clothes ; they wash them
and soon bring them back again. When
the travellers are about to resume their
156 THE KISS
journey these girls kiss them, and take as
affectionate a farewell of them as if the latter
were their brothers or near relations."
And Holberg in his letter writes : "In
England it is considered uncourteous to enter
a house without saluting one's hostess with
a kiss."
Even in the Low Countries the friendly kiss
was much in vogue. Adrianus Horeboord,
a professor at the University of Leyden,
has, in a Latin treatise, investigated the ques-
tion as to whether the custom of allowing
strangers to kiss young girls, widows, and
other persons* wives, on paying a visit, can be
said to be in conformity with the laws of
chastity. Horeboord s opinion is that such
practice is in no way objectionable : as a kiss
can be given without any arricrc pcnsiCy the
kisses demanded by politeness may be quite
chaste.
Erycius Puteanus, the learned Dutch philo-
sopher, on the contrary, holds that the afore-
said custom is not without danger — at any
rate to more sensually-disposed temperaments.
In a letter on the education of a young
Italian girl he writes that he would never
suffer any one to kiss his pupil, adding : " Our
THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP 157
Flemish girls never do so ; they are not so
ardent. They do not comprehend the lan-
guage of love in glances and kisses. In the
matter of Italian girls on the other hand,
things are quite different, and I teach my
pupil the speech of our country and our
customs, kissing excepted."
The kiss of friendship was so general in
Germany, even in the eighteenth century, that
Klopstock could write to a friend in 1750:
Vergessen sie nicht zu mir auf einen Kaffee
und auf einen Kuss zu komnten. It seems,
however, soon to have fallen into disuse.
As far back as 1747, Lessing had ridiculed
it in a poem :
The kiss with which my friend will greet me
Is not what's rightly termed a kiss,
But only formal salutation
Because cold fashion bids him this.
W. F. H.
VII
VARIOUS KINDS OF KISSES
Einen Kuss in Ehren
Darf niemand wehren.
German Proverb,
No one should take amiss
An honest-hearted kiss.
W. F. H.
CHAPTER VII
VARIOUS KINDS OF KISSES
It has been previously shown by numerous
examples that kissing occupies a promineni
place in certain ceremonies. It would b<
easy to multiply instances of this.
We know from Roman law that the so-callec
osculum interveniens, which concerned gifts
was exchanged between engaged couples
The law enacts that, in the event of one o
the contracting parties dying before th<
marriage, only a moiety of the presents an
to be returned, provided a kiss was exchangee
at the betrothal, but, if no kiss had been ex
changed, all the presents were to be returned.*
* Si ab sponso rebus spoma donatisy intervenienie osculo^ ant
nuptias hunc vel illam mart contigerity dimidiam partem rerut
donatarutn eul superstitem pertinere pracipimusy dimidiam a
dcfuncti vcl de/uncta heredes cuiuslibet gradus sint et quocunqu
iure successerinty ut donatio stare pro parte media et solvi pr
parte media videatur: osculo vero non intervenientey sive sponsu
sive spoftsa obierity totam infirtnari donationem et donatori spom
sive heredibus eius restitui,
161 T
162 THE KISS
The kiss was regarded as the introduction,
as it were, to matrimonial cohabitation — tnitium
consummationis nuptiarum ; it was symbolical
of marriage — viri et tmdieris conjunctio. Certain
ancient jurists have even discussed the question
whether a married woman who has suffered
herself to be kissed by a stranger has not
thereby rendered herself guilty of adultery.
The decree of the Roman law which, so
far as I know, still partly holds good in Greece,
is met with again in the Latin countries
during the Middle Ages. It was incorporated
in the law of the Visigoths {JLex Romana
Visigothorurn), and migrated thence to the
different old Spanish fueros and the old
French law, in which the word osculmn was
also used in the learned form oscle. It was
likewise admitted into the law of the Lombards,
and Italy is most probably the West European
country where donatio propter osculum has been
longest retained. We find, even down to our
own times, traces of the same in customary laws.
This is probably the only ceremonial kiss
that has received legal sanction ; but wherever
elsewhere we may turn our eyes and investi-
gate old ceremonies, we constantly find the
kiss a necessary and important part.
VARIOUS KINDS OF KISSES 163
Its usage was, for instance, general at
weddings. Thomas Platter, who studied at
the University of Montpellier at the end of
the sixteenth century, tells us, in his " Diary,"
that the majority of marriages took place in
private, without witnesses, through fear of
witchcraft ; though the wedding feast, on the
contrary, was celebrated in public with a vast
concourse of guests, and with many merry
episodes. At the conclusion of the feast the
bride was divested of her bridal array, amidst
jokes and raillery, smart young bachelors
having to take off her garters ; and when at
last she sat up in bed, clad only in linen, then
all the guests, male and female, came and kissed
her on the mouth, and the kisses were followed
by facetious compliments and good wishes.
Moreover, at the later ceremony of dubbing
a knight, the newly-made knight of the
Golden Fleece was kissed by the master of
the ceremonies, and had afterwards to kiss
all the senior knights present.
At certain academical functions the kiss
also formed part of the festal ceremony ; in
the seventeenth century the Dean, when
degrees were conferred, kissed all the new
doctors and masters.
164 THE KISS
Even in the guilds we meet with the kiss,
though in a somewhat peculiar form. Hlibertz
tells us that at the ceremony of admitting a
member into the Guild of Tanners, the candi-
date chose for his " Kranzjungfer '* a girl
who had to be ** fairly a maiden." She
painted black moustaches on his upper lip,
and the senior member placed a crown on his
head. This done, he kissed the latter, removed
the crown, and decorated him instead with a
" Jungferkranz." Finally, the senior member
made a speech to the new member, and gave
him three boxes on the ears, on which the girl
kissed him, and washed off his moustaches,
whilst " Vater " hung a sword to his waist.
The ceremony of reception into the Guild
of Carpenters was followed by a feast, at
which the members, as a sign that they were
now grown-up, were allowed, on the pay-
ment of a mark, to kiss the barmaid, who
was usually the innkeeper's daughter.
It is easily understood that the kiss like-
wise came to play a prominent part in many
different dances and games.
Kiss-dances were very common during the
Middle Ages and even later. Montaigne
describes one that he witnessed at Augsburg
VARIOUS KINDS OF KISSES 165
in 1580. **The ladies," said he, "sit in two
rows along the walls of the room. The gentle-
men go away and bow to them ; they kiss the
latter s hands, and the ladies get up, but with-
out kissing them on the hand. Then each
gentleman puts his arm round the ladys
waist, right beneath her shoulder, kisses her,
and lays his cheek to hers."* Whether it is
the lady's cheek or mouth that is kissed, he
omits to state ; but it is certain that kisses
on the mouth were not uncommon.
A Swiss traveller who stayed for some
time in France in the middle of the sixteenth
century relates that, when he was in Mont-
pellicr, he was invited to a ball, and there met
a very beautiful young lady ; but, he adds,
her nose was a trifle too long, and so her
partner had great difficulty in kissing her
mouth, **as is the general custom."
The kiss-dance has not yet died out in
Germany ; but it appears no longer to have
the graceful forms of the Renaissance period,
if we can trust Fritz Reuters description in
his Journey to Belgium, At a wedding when
the kiss-dance is to be held, the parish clerk
cautiously inquires of the clergyman whether
* Retranslated from the Danish Text.
166 THE KISS
kissing is regarded as unbefitting his priestly
dignity, but when the answer comes short
and shrewd, ** Kiss away," he bows to Mrs
Black and — smack ! — gives her a couple of
hearty kisses right on her mouth. Madame
was thoroughly frightened, but that did not
avail, but every time he swang round with
her, she got a proper, smacking kiss.
But it is evident from Romeo and Juliet
that even in England there were dances in
which a gentleman was allowed to kiss his
partner. All know the beautiful words with
which Romeo claims his right :
If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this :
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. (I. 5.)
One can still take the same liberty at
Christmastide under the mistletoe. I know a
young English lady who was offended with an
American gentleman who did not dare to avail
himself of his privilege, because he thought
that this custom was obsolete in Europe.
Kissing in our time still plays an important
part in France in the refrains of dance songs.
Le Botcguet de ma Mie ends with :
Bell* bergfere, embrasse-moi,
Embrasse, embrasse, embrasse 1
Various kinds of kisses 167
And in Ramenez vos MoutonSy Berglre, is
sung by way of conclusion :
Tombez k genoux,
Jurez devant tous.
D'etre uii jour epoux
Et embrassez-vous.*
There is, I suppose, no doubt that in these
games the kiss is given and taken, as
the dramaiis personce are generally children,
but what takes place when adults amuse
themselves with these rondes, I do not know ;
but I consider it probable that the gentleman
will demand as his due a kiss, at any rate on
the cheek. There also exists an old ronde
a baiscrs, which is very characteristic and
merry. In this it is the lady who has to take
the first step :
Madame, entrez dans la danse^
Regardez-en la cadence,
Et puis vous embrasserez
Celui que vous aimerez.t
* Now down on your knees fall,
And promise straightway
To be wife and husband,
And then kiss away. W. F. H.
f Madame, join the dancing throng,
Listen to their measured song ;
But remember, for the rest,
You shall kiss whom you love best. W. F, H.
168 tHE KtSS
As the living expression of the warmest
and sincerest human feelings kissing has been
credited, in the world of fairy tales and super-
stition, with a considerable curative and pro-
phylactical power.
We have seen, in the old sagas and ballads,
how enchantments are broken by means of a
kiss ; we have seen how holy men in the
legends restore the sick to health by means
of a kiss, etc. Kissing has, on the whole,
influenced popular credulity to a large extent,
and of the numerous superstitious notions
concerning it 1 only quote some few :
If you would protect yourself against
lightning you should make three crosses
before you, and kiss the ground three times.
(Germany.)
If you want to have luck in gambling you
must kiss the cards before the game begins.
(France.)
If you have the toothache you should kiss a
donkey on his chops. (Germany.) This very
efficacious advice is found as far back as Pliny.
If you drop a bit of bread on the floor you
must kiss it when you pick it up. The same
respect is also to be shown to books you
have dropped. (Denmark, Germany.)
VARIOUS KINDS OF KISSES 169
According to Danish superstition, it is a
bad omen when the first person you meet of
a morning is an old woman ; nevertheless,
you can ward off all evil consequences by
giving her a kiss. Evil must be expelled by
evil.
People kiss little children when they have
knocked themselves, in order to take away
the pain ; they must ** kiss them well again,"
as it is termed, or, as Englishmen say, "kiss
the place and make it well."
The Greenland mother, who does not \/
understand kissing as expressive of love,
kisses her sick child on the breast, shoulders,
hips, and navel to restore it to health.
As the loving kiss of a living human
creature brings life, health, and happiness,
so it is thought, on the other hand, that
kisses of a supernatural being bring destruc-
tion.
In Lucian's True History there is a
description of a perilous journey to the
realms of fancy. In one of these the
travellers came upon a remarkable vineyard
wherein all the vines at the bottom were
green and luxuriant, but those above had the
shape of women. "They greeted us, as we
170 THE KISS
drew nigh, and bade us halt. Some of us
kissed them on the mouth, and those who
were kissed lost their understanding and
reeled about like drunken men. But worse
befell those who had suffered themselves to
be embraced by these women ; they were
powerless to extricate themselves from the
latter's arms, and we beheld their fingers
changed into boughs and twigs."*
I will here call your attention to the
Roumanian song about cholera, which comes
in the shape of an ugly old woman to Vtlcu,
and Vilcu entreats it thus : ** Take my horse,
take my weapons, but give me still some
days so I may once more see my children,
which are as dear to me as the light of the
sun." But the old woman stretches forth
her bony arms, folds Vtlcu to her bosom,
presses her pallid lips to his, and, in a death-
dealing kiss, takes his life, whereupon she
departs with a mocking laugh. The Rou-
manian text is here very strong :
Gur& pe gur^ punea,
Buze pe buze lipia,
Zilele i le sorbia.
* Retranslated from the Danish of the Text.
VARIOUS KINDS OF KISSES 171
Apo! cloanza ear ridea,
Cu zilele purcedea,
Si voKnicul mort c&dea.
Even a spectres kiss brings death.
In an English variant of the ballad of
Leonora, Margaret says to her dead bride-
groom, who is knocking at her door at
night : " Come and kiss me on the cheek
and chin." — " Perhaps I shall come to thee,"
he replies, but :
If I shou'd come within thy bower,
I am no mortal man ;
And should I kiss thy rosy lips,
Thy days will not be long.
I shall also call your attention, in connec-
tion with the foregoing, to a curious old
story of the venomous girl.
A young maiden had from her tenderest
years been reared on all the most deadly
poisons. Her beauty was marvellous, but
her breiith was so poisonous that it killed
everybody who came near her. She was sent
to the palace of Alexander the Great, as the
king s enemies reckoned on his falling in love
with her and dying in her arms. When the
king saw her he at once wanted to make
172 THE KISS
her his mistress ; but the shrewd Aristotle
suspected treachery. He restrained the king,
and had a criminal who had been sentenced
to death sent for. The criminal was made
to kiss the girl in presence of the king, and
he fell prone on the ground, poisoned by her
breath, like one struck by lightning.
This story can be traced to India. It
found its way into several mediaeval story-
books and attained great popularity. The
monks made use of it in their sermons, and
gave it an allegorical interpretation : Alex-
ander was the good, trustful Christian ;
Aristotle was the conscience ; the venomous
girl, incontinence, which comprehends every-
thing that is poisonous to the soul ; and the
criminal is the wicked man who pursues the
lusts of the flesh and suffers his punishment.
" Let us, therefore, abstain from all such
things if we wish to reach Paradise," is the
moral that the monk draws from it at the
close of his sermon.
In conclusion I will quote several expres-
sions to which kissing has given rise :
A lady's hat which was fashionable in
England in 1850, and which had no brim to
it, got the name of Kiss-me-quick. In con-
VARIOUS KINDS OF KISSES 173
tradistinction to this, the old-fashioned Danish
hats with prominent brims were called Kiss-
me-if-you-can. We have a modern variant in
the Salvation lasses' Stop-kissing-me hat.
In France, during the last century, there
was a colour of the name of Baise-moi ma
mtgnonnej called in England *' heart Vease " :
Look-up-and-kisS'tne^ Kiss-me-at-the-garden-
gatCy KisS'tne-erC'I-rise ox Jtimp'Up'and'kisS'me.
The verb *' to kiss " is often used in a figura-
tive sense, e.g., the Italians say of one who
likes drinking, *' He kisses the flask " {Bacia il
fiasco) ; the Germans say of mean people,
**They kiss the farthing" (JDen Pfennig
kussen) ; the English too speak of a penny-
kisser.
This figurative meaning is not, however,
confined to jocose expressions and phrases ;
on the contrary, it occurs perhaps more
frequently in serious prose.
Our whole life, lived in love to our neighbour
and nature, is nothing more than one long kiss.
Kaalund somewhere says :
A babe was I not long ere this,
But time too swiftly slips ;
And that is why I press a kiss
So warmly on life's lips.
W. F. H.
174 THE KISS
A similar figurative use is extraordinarily
common with the poets. H. C. Andersen, in
Goose-grass, says of the lark that it flies past
the tulip and other aristocratic flowers only to
light on the sward by the humble goose-grass,
which it kisses with its beak, and for which it
sings its joyous song. The other poets re-
present the waves as kissing the white beach,
the bees, the scented flowers ; and the ears of
corn in the fields as heaving beneath the warm
kisses of the sun s golden rays. The sun s
kisses are oscula sancta ; every creature shares
in them, for they are the most beautiful ex-
pression of God's love. Ingemann sings in a
morning hymn :
The sun looks down on hut and hall,
On haughty king and beggar weeping,
Beholds the great ones and the small,
And kisses babes in cradles sleeping.
W. F. H.
VIII
THE ORIGIN OF KISSING
Les coututnes, quelque ^tranges qu'elles deviennent parfois
K la longue, ont g^n^ralement des commencements tr^s simples.
Max Muller.
Usages, however strange they may sometimes become in the
long run, have generally very simple beginnings. — TrafixJated
from the above.
CHAPTER VIII
THE ORIGIN OF KISSING
With most civilised and many uncivilised
nations kissing is the natural expression of
love and its kindred emotions.
^How can it be explained that a kiss has
succeeded in getting so deep and compre-
hensive a significance? How can a trivial
movement of the lips interpret our innermost
feelings in so eloquent a way that there is not
a language which has at its command words
approaching to it in argumentative power ?
Are we face to face with something primitive,
or something conventional and derivative ? Is
it as natural to kiss when we are transported
with love as it is to smile when we are mirthful,
or weep when we are sad ? In other words, is
Steele right when he says, in strict conformity
with a Cypriot folk-song previously quoted,
that " nature was its author, and it began with
the first courtship ? '%/
178 THE KISS
I shall try to answer this question in the
following pages, but, nevertheless, I wish at once
to state most expressly that we are now ap-
proaching ground where we know nothing, and
where no one can with certainty know any-
thing. We can only advance more or less likely
hypotheses.
In the first place, it is important to bear in
mind that there are many races of people who
are quite ignorant of kissing as it is generally
understood. Thus it is unknown in a great
part of Polynesia, in Madagascar, and among
many tribes of negroes in Africa, more particu-
larly among those which mutilate their lips.
W. Reade, in one of his books of travel, tells us
of the horror which seized a young African
negress when he kissed her. Kissing is like-
wise unknown amongst the Esquimaux and the
people of Tierra del Fuego. Certain Finnish
tribes appear, from what B. Taylor tells us, not
to practise it much. In his Northern Travel
he relates that ** while both sexes bathe
together in a state of complete nudity, a kiss is
regarded as something indecent." A Finnish
married woman, on being told by him that it
was the usual custom for husband and wife to
kiss each other, angrily exclaimed, ** If my
THE ORIGIN OF KISSING 179
husband were to attempt such a thing, faith, I
would warm his ears in such a way that he
would feel it for a whole week."
If the question arises as to what these people
substitute for kissing, the fact is well-known
that, amongst uncivilised races, there is an
endless number of different ways of salutation ;
some smack each other on the arms or stomach,
others blow on each other s hands, others again
rub their right ear and put out their tongue,
etc., etc. Here, however, we must confine
ourselves to the salutations which are sug-
gestive of kissing.
In many places people are in the habit of
saluting with their noses. This is the so-called
Malay kiss, which consists in rubbing or
merely pressing ones nose against another
person's nose. This nose-salute is found among
the Polynesians, Malays, Esquimaux, certain
negro tribes in Africa — in short, just among the
majority of races which are ignorant of kissing
as we understand it.
Darwin thus describes the Malay kiss :
*'The women squatted with their faces up-
turned ; my attendants stood leaning over them,
laid the bridge of their noses at right angles over
theirs, and commenced rubbing. It lasted some-
\y
180 THE KISS
what longer than a hearty hand-shake with us.
During this process they uttered a grunt of
satisfaction." * The French savant Gaidoz, who
has also described this custom, remarks, ** I
have many times observed that cats which are
fond of one another greet each other in this
way ; and I myself once had a cat which always
tried to squeeze its nose against mine as a
mark of affection." *
Everything is in favour of this nose-salute
\ being a very primitive custom, and its origin
may be sought beyond the sense of touch ; no
doubt, in the sense of smell.
Spencer has arrived at the following con-
clusions : The sheep bleats after her little
lamb which has run away. It sniffs at several
lambs that are skipping about near her, and at
last recognises her own by means of the sense
of smell, and undoubtedly feels great delight
at recognising it. In consequence of assiduous
repetitions of this a certain relation is developed
between the two factors, so that the smell of
the lamb excites joy in the sheep.
As every animal has its peculiar smell, so,
too, has every human being. When the
patriarch Isaac grew old his eyes began to
* Retranslated from the Danish Version in the Text.
THE ORIGIN OF KISSING 181
get dim, and he could not see. He wished to
bless his eldest son, Esau, but Jacob deceived
him by clothing himself in his brother's gar-
ments, and giving himself out as the latter.
Isaac then said to him : ** Come near now and
kiss me, my son." And he came near and
kissed him, and he smelled the smell of his
raiment, and blessed him, and said : ** See
the smell of my son is as the smell of a field
which the Lord hath blessed."
The sense of the smell peculiar to some
one we are fond of is capable of exciting
pleasure. Timkowski writes of a Mongol
father that the latter time after time smelt
his youngest son's head. This mark of
paternal tenderness serves with the Mongols
instead of kisses. In the Philippine Islands,
the sense of smell is so developed that the
inhabitants, by simply sniffing at a pocket-
handkerchief, can tell to whom it belongs ;
lovers who are separated send one another
presents of bits of their linen, and, in their
absence, keep each other in mind by often
inhaling each other s scent.
That the delicate perfume that exhales from
a woman s body plays an important part in
love affairs even with modern civilised nations
182 THE KISS
is too well-known to require more than a
passing mention on my part.
Certain races of mankind now actually
salute each other by smelling ; they apply
their mouth and nose to a person's cheek,
and draw a long breath. In their language
they do not say ** Give me a kiss," but '* Smell
me." The same sort of kiss is also met with
among the Burmese ; and with many Malay
tribes the words ** smell" and ** salute" are
synonymous. Other races do not confine
themselves to smelling each other's faces, but
sniff their hands at every salutation.
^ Alfred Grandidier, a French traveller, says
of the nose-kiss in Madagascar : ** It always
excites the merriment of Europeans, and yet
it has its origin in an extremely refined idea.
The invisible air which is continually being
breathed through the lips is to savages, not
only, as with us, a sign of life, but it is also an
emanation of the soul — its perfume, as they
themselves say — and, when they mingle and
suck in each other's breath and odour, they
think they are actually mingling their souls." *^
Then the origin of the nose-kiss, it seems,
undoubtedly ought to be sought — at any rate
* Retranslated from the Danish Version in the Text.
THE ORIGIN OF KISSING 183
partly — in the sense of smell. The love of
another human being involves, as a conse-
quence, ones loving everything belonging to
this other beiiig; and this love is shown in
casu by drinking in his or her breath, whereby,
little by little, a peculiar nose-salutation is
very ingeniously developed, which, naturally, is
capable of gradually assuming various con-
ventional forms.
Now we will proceed to the kiss proper —
that on the mouth. How can its origin be
explained } *
^pTt does not seem very rational to assume
that the motion of the muscles in breathing
should of itself be the natural, purely physical
reflex of a feeling of love in the same way as,
for instance, certain half-spasmodic contrac-
tions of several muscles in the upper part of the
face can be the immediate expression of wratKl
I do not believe either that the mere con-
tact of the lips with another person's face was
originally sufficient to express •' 1 love you.*'
* Naturally, I am not concerned here with the various ex-
planations given by the poets as to the origin of the kiss.
Gressner, in an idyll of Daphnis and Chloe, has told us
how both the lovers observed the sport of the doves in the grove
and then tried to imitate it by pressing their mouths together as
the doves do their beaks.
184 THE KISS
Naturally, the longing to touch the beloved
one's body, to approach it as closely as pos-
sible, is a very essential manifestation of erotic
emotion ; but so far as the contact of the lips
is concerned, there is reason for assuming
that, originally, without its being the direct
object, it had been, moreover, and perhaps
in an equally high degree, a means of attaining
a definite sensual gratification — a gratification
that can be realised by the co-operation of
the lips and mouth.
As the nose - salutation partly originates
in smell, so the mouth salutation may, to
a certain extent* at least, have its origin
* Besides the passive or receptive element of the kiss, which
is essentially the object of my investigation, there is also, as we
have previously noticed, an active element which must not be
overlooked, viz., the contact and muscular sensation at the pres-
sure. During the erotic transport, which excites the desire for
something further of a brutal and violent nature, the body
trembles with powerful muscular tension, and a pressure or bite
of the mouth is one of the forms by which the passion of love
finds expression. It is difficult, in these pages, to go further
into this aspect of the kiss, which is regarded by certain
philosophers as the main one, which it really is in respect
to certain kisses under certain circumstances ; but there are
other kisses which are equally so originally, and in which the
passive element seems to me the most essential. The origin of
the love-kiss ought scarcely to be sought in any single source,
whether in the sense of touch or in that of taste and smell com-
bined. Unquestionably both these elements co-operate in its
production, but under constantly varying conditions, jqst
THE ORIGIN OF KISSING 185
in taste, or — which is even more probabK
in both smell and taste ? These latter, as you
know, are very closely related to each other.
The dog shows his joy at his master's
presence by licking the latter s hand. Why
is this? It would not, I suppose, be too rash
to assume that he as good as " tastes " him ;
loving his master, he therefore loves the taste
and smell peculiar to him.
The cow licks her calf, and in this one
may presumably see the expression of a feel-
ing which is to some extent satisfied by this
action. And why so.^ Undoubtedly by re-
cognising by the tongue (and nose) the taste
(and smell) peculiar to the calf
Now, is it not exceedingly probable that
the human kiss, in its original form, can, as
to its passive element, be accounted for in an
identical way, viz., as a purely sensual assimila-
tion, by means of the nerves of taste and smell,
of another persons peculiar qualities with
respect to gusius and odor? These qualities
have probably been much more conspicuous
in primitive mankind than nowadays, just as
as the active or the passive element predominates, the kiss
accompanies and interprets according to the erotic phase. In
what follows I shall confine myself exclusively to the receptive
element in the kiss.
186 THE KISS
it is quite certain that its faculty of taste and
smell were far more developed than ours.
And have we not still, especially in the
love-kiss, but also in kisses between women,
very numerous representatives of the primitive
kiss, which I should like to term the ** taste-
kiss." I have many times pointed out, in the
preceding pages, the part which taste plays in
kissing; and I shall now add what I have
often heard young girls say to a lady they had
kissed amorously : ** Your kisses taste so nice."
From being a natural expression for love
the sucking, tasting kiss has, in course of time,
become reduced to nothing more than a simple
inspiratory movement of the lips, which, by
analogy, has come to express many other feel-
ings, such as gratitude, admiration, compas-
sion, tenderness, etc. It has become at
length so degraded as to be used as a purely
conventional salutation.
If this reasoning be correct, then the mouth-
kiss, in the course of its development, presents
a perfect parallel with the nose-kiss. Both
these forms of greeting were originally closely
allied, but the mouth-kiss had better conditions
for development than the nose-kiss. It has
become a salutation of a considerably higher
THE ORIGIN OF KISSING 187
sort, and whenever savage tribes come into
contact with civilised nations the nose-kiss is
gradually discarded. Such, for instance, was
the case in Madagascar. There is no doubt
that savages can express very deep emotions
by the nose-kiss. A French missionary tells
the story of how he was received when he
went back to the island of Pomotu : ** When
we approached the country all the population
assembled on the beach. They had harpoons
in their hands, for they imagined we were
enemies ; but, as soon as they saw my cassock,
they shouted, 'That's the Father, away with
the harpoons,' and when we reached the shore
they all rushed forward to kiss mc by rubbing
their noses against mine, according to the
custom of that country. The ceremony was
not very agreeable to me, and I was not
altogether pleased at having to take part in
it."* Civilised people, on the other hand,
regard the nose-kiss as something highly
ludicrous, and I doubt if any poet has the
power of casting a halo of romance over it.
The mouth - kiss, on the contrary, is
redolent of the purest and most delicate
poesy. A German minnesinger rhapsodises
• Retranslated from the Danish Version in the Text,
188 THE KISS
thus : ** The radiant sun is darkened before
mine eyes when I behold the roses that
bloom on my darling's mouth."
"He who can pluck these roses may rejoice
in the depth of his heart. Many are the
roses I have beheld, but never have I looked
on any so splendid,"
** How beauteous are the roses one gathers
in the valley ; nathless her delicate, ruddy
lips conjure up thousands that are lovelier
still."
L'ENVOI
Wherefore, methinks, let ev'ry man
Kiss as he knows best, will, should, can ;
But I and my beloved know this : —
How we ought properly to kiss. — Paul Fleming.
W. F. H.
Printed by
Oliver A Boyd
Bdintmigh.
of/^?'/^
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