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UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
AT LOS ANGELES
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KIT AND KITTY,
^ ^torg of mLt%t JWOitdcscx.
BY
R. D. BLACKMORE
AUTHOR OF " SPRINGHAVEN," " CHRISTOWELL," ETC.
"Si tu Caia, ego Caius."
7-?^ THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. II.
LONDON:
SAMPSON LOW, MAKSTON, SEARLE, & RIVINGTON,
LIMITEn,
St. IBunstan's ?t]ouse,
Fetter Lane, Fleet Street, E.G.
1890.
[All rights reseruei.]
LONDON :
PRINTED BY WILLIAM CLUWKS AND SONS, LIMITKD,
STAMFORD STREET AND CHARING CROSS.
CONTENTS OF VOL. II.
CHAPTER PAGE
1. Haro ! ... ... ... ... 1
II. On the Shelf ... ... ... 18
III. A Downy Cove ... ... ... 30
IV. Off the Shelf ... ... ... 46
Y. Out of all Keason ... ... ... 59
VI. A Fine Tip ... ... ... 74
VII. Baskets ... ... ... ... i)2
VIII. The Giant of the Heath ... 105
IX. A Dream ... ... ... ... 126
X. Urgent Measures ... ... 140
XI. Two TO One ... ... ... 156
XII. Under the Garden Wall ... 168
XIII. Frost in May ... ... ... 183
XIV. Cold Comfort ... ... ... 197
XV. None ... ... ... ... 215
XVI. On Two Chairs ... ... ... 230
187303
IV
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER
XVII.
Job's Comfort
XVIII.
True Comfort ...
XIX.
Behind the Fiddle ...
XX.
The Great Lady
XXI.
Met again ...
PAGE
246
259
273
288
302
KIT AN"D KITTY.
CHAPTER I.
HAKO !
A STRANGE thing befell me on my way home,
which I would have avoided describing if I
could ; for my adventures have but little
interest, except so far as they are concerned
with Kitty. But this one unluckily did con-
cern her deeply, inasmuch as it brought great
affliction on her, and left her without my assist-
ance, at a time when she stood in especial need
of it.
She had made me promise that I would not
attempt to walk all the way to S anbury in sucli
a bitter night, and with the storm increasing,
till no one could tell what might come of it.
Accordingly I made my way to Notting Hill,
intending to get into an omnibus there, which
VOL. II. B
2 KIT AND KITTY.
would take me at least as far as Richmond.
There I meant to have a mutton chop or two,
and perhaps a pint of Mortlake ale, which is
generally of good substance, and thus be set up
for the cold walk home. And if this had been
done, as was really intended, probably I might
have been at home in good time to tell my
Uncle all about it, before he had finished his
go-to-bed pipe.
But as it happened, when I came out at last,
from all this brick and mortar skittle-ground,
into the broad Western road, and knew pretty
well where I was and how the land lay, not
an omnibus was to be found anywhere, except
those that had travelled out before the storm
began, and were bound to get home again
somehow. And these had some trouble in
getting along, with the snow clouding up in
the horses' faces, and forming great balls on
their feet, and clogging the dumb heavy roll of
the frozen wheels. All the 'busses that should
have been ploughing and rolling towards
Shepherd's Bush and Turnham Green, had
resolved to remain in their yards for the night.
Let other horses tug, and wallow, and smoke
like beds of mortar ; let other coachmen flap
their breasts and scowl instead of answering ;
HARO ! 3
and let other threepenny fares look blue and
stamp in the straw to thaw their toes. It was
worth much more than the money would fetch,
to cross their legs by the taproom fire, or whisk
their tails in stable.
At first I took it as a wholesome joke, that
the fourteen miles of road before me must be
overcome by toe and heel. As for a cab, I had
never been inside any feminine bandbox of that
name, and if I would have condescended to it,
there was no such thing to be got to-night. I
was young, and strong, and full of spirit, with
the sweet words kindling in my heart, as
memory stirred it from time to time ; and if
any one had bidden me look out for danger,
I should have said, " Let me see it first." And
in this humour, I strode on, without even turn-
ing ray collar up.
But the world became wrapped up more and
more in deep white darkness, as I trudged on.
As the houses along the road grew scarcer, they
seemed to go by me more heavily and slowly,
and with less and less power of companionship.
There was scarcely a man to say " Grood night "
to ; and the one or two I met would not open
mouth to answer. And when I came through
a great open space, with a white spire standing
4 KIT AND KITTY.
like a giant's gliost, I could hardly be sure thai,
it was Tiirnhain Grreen, so entirely was distan<.'e
huddled up with snow. But I ran into a white
thing in the middle of the road, and tlie gleam
of an ostler's lantern showed me that it was a
brewer's dray, with the horses taken out, and
standing with their heads between their legs
close by a sign-post. " You better turn in,
mate," the ostler shouted ; " you're a fool if you
go further, such a night as this." I saw a red
steam in the bar, and knew that this must be
the Old Pack-horse Inn, whose landlord had
raised a famous apple ; and my better sense
told me to follow advice. But the pride of
fool's strength drove me on, and without slack-
ing a foot I lost sight of it in the solid daze.
There was nothing to be afraid of yet, and I
felt no kind of misgiving, but began to let my
legs go on, instead of walking consciously. At
one time I began to count, as if they were a
machine of which I was no longer master. I
counted up to a thousand, and thought — "About
seven thousand more will do it, and that they
can manage without much trouble." Then I gave
. up counting, and must have passed through
Brentford, as in a dream, and so to Twickenham,
and through that again.
y.
f
HAKO ! 5
There were nearer ways in better weather ;
but although I could not think clearly now
(through cold, and clogging feet, and constant
dazzle of white fall around me) I had sense
enough to stick to highways, as long as they
would stick to me. At Twickenham I had a
mind to stop and get something to eat, being
faint with hunger, for I had seven and sixpence
in my waistcoat-pocket. I cannot tell why I
did not stop, and only know that I went on.
The snow must have been ten inches deep on
the level, and as many feet in the drifts, for a
strong wind urged it fiercely, when I came
at last to the Bear at Han worth, an old-
established and good hotel. The principal
entrance was snowed up, from the sweep of the
roads that meet there, for every road running
east and west was like a cannon exploding
snow. But I went in by the little door round
the corner, and finding only the barman there
— for all neighbours had been glad to get home
while they could — I contrived, with some
trouble, to ask for a glass of hot brandy-and-
water. So great was the change from the storm
and the whirl, that my brain seemed to beat
like a flail in a barn, and the chairs were all
standing on the ceiling.
6 KIT AND KITTT.
" Don't you go no further, sir ; you stop
here," said the man, who seemed to know me,
though I did not know him. " It would take a
male helephant to get to Sunbury to-night.
There been no such snow for six and forty
year ; old Jim the ostler can call it to mind ;
and then it was over the roof, he saith. You
look uncommon queer already, seem to be
standing on your head a'most. Why, bless me,
you be drinking from the empty glass ! "
But I found the right glass with his help,
and swallowed the hot brown draught without
knowing it. Then I asked him the time, and
he said, " Nigh on ten o'clock. You take my
advice, and have a bed here. Well, wilful will,
and woeful won't, when it's too late to mend
it." He cast this at me, as I said " Grood
night," and without sitting down staggered out
again.
I believe that even now I should have reached
home safely, not having so very much further
to go, if the roads had been wide and straight
as they were thus far. But two things were
very much against me now, and both of them
made a great difference. I had turned from the
main road into twisting narrow lanes, and my
course was across the wind instead of right
HARO ! 7
before it. Without that strong wind at my
back I could scarcely have reached Hanworth
by that time, though it seemed a very long
time to take from Notting Hill, compared with
the usual rate of walking. But now the fierce
wind was on my left side quite as often as
behind me, and it drove me from my line, as I
grew more feeble, and knocked ray weary legs
into one another. Moreover it seemed to go
through me twice as much, and to rattle me
like splinters shaken up, and to drive the spikes
of snow to my heart almost.
If I had walked as in a dream before, I was
moving as in a deep sleep now. 1 had some
sort of sense of going on for ever, as a man has
a knowledge of his own snoring ; and I have
some weak remembrance of beating with my
hands — for my stick must have gone away
long ago — to keep off a blanket that was
smothering me. Then I seemed to be lifted,
and set down somewhere, and it did not matter
where it was. And what happened after that
was not to me, but to people who told me of it
afterwards.
For my Uncle Corny went to bed that night,
in a very bad worry of mind, and fitter to
grumble at the Lord than to say his prayers.
8 KIT AND KITTY.
Not from anxiety about his nephew, who was
sure to turn up somehow ; but because he had
frightful misgivings about his glass, and his
trees, and his premises at large. The roof of
his long vinery was buckled in already, when
he went with a lantern to look at it ; and many
of his favourite apple-trees, which he loved
to go and gaze at on a Sunday, were bowed
with the wind and the snow, and hanging in
draggles, like so much mistletoe. He never
swore mucli at the weather ; because it seemed
like swearing at heaven, and be had found it
grow worse under that sort of treatment.
But our Tabby Tapscott (who feared to go
home, and tried to sleep on two chairs in the
kitchen) declared that he used some expressions
that night, which were quite enough to account
for anything.
In the morning however there was no fault
to find with him, as soon as he had done a good
hour's work in the deep snow and the nipping-
wind, and improved his circulation by con-
vincing everybody that he was still as young
as he ever was. He relieved the laden trees,
wherever it was wise to do so, and with the
back of a hay-rake fetched the white incum-
brance from the glass, and stamped his feet and
HARO ! y
shook his coat, and had a path swept here and
there, and told himself and Selsey Bill, that a
good old-fashioned winter was the thing to
send all prices up. But when he sat down to
breakfast, he kept looking at the door, as if for
me ; and at last he said to Mrs. Tapscott, who
was shaking in her apron — " Why, where's that
lazy Kit again ? Is he frozen to his pillow ?
Go and give him a good rattle up. He de-
serves cold victuals, and he shall have nothing
else."
" Her hain't coom home," replied Tabby,
looking as crossly as she dared at him. " Much
you care for the poor boy, Measter. I rackon
the znow be his winding-shate. No more
coortin' for he, this zide of kingdom coom, I'd
lay a penny."
" Kit not come home ! Kit out all night,
and you let me go on with my trees and roofs !
But you know where he is, or you would not
take it so, and you snoring away by the kitchen-
fire. None of your secrets about him ! Where
is Kit."
" The Lord A'mighty know'th where a' be."
Poor Tabby began to whine and cry. " The
zecret be with Him, not me. A' wor to coom
home, but her never didn't. A vaine job for 'e
10 KIT AND KITTY.
to zake for 'un. Yalnd un dade as a stone, I
reckon."
" Nonsense ! Kit can take care of himsel f.
He is the strongest young fellow for miles and
miles, and accustomed to all sorts of weather.
What's a bit of snow to a young man like Kit ?
You women always make the worst of every-
thing."
" But her hain't coom home ; " answered
Tabby with all reason. " Her would 'a coom
home, if so be her worn't drownded in the znow,
I tull 'e, sir. No more coortin' for Measter Kit,
in this laife. A' may do what a' wool, in
kingdom coom."
" Stuff ! " cried my Uncle, not caring to
discuss this extreme test of my constancy. " He
has stopped at some house on the road, or up
there. Perhaps the Professor would not let
him go, when he saw how bad the weather
was. There is nothing to be done, till the Post
comes in ; though I am not sure that the Post
will be able to get in. If the letters are not
here by ten o'clock, I shall go to Hampton to
look for them. They are pretty sure to get
that far."
The morning was fine, though bitterly cold
after that very heavy fall ; and people began
HARO ! 11
to e:et about airain, tlioiio'h the drifts were too
deep in many places for a carriage to pass till
they had been cleared. My Uncle set out on
foot for Hampton, and there found the mail-cart
just come in. The Postmaster was in a state
of flurry, and would not open the Sunbury bag,
but sent it on by special messenger, as the cart
could get no further. My Uncle had the
pleasure of walking with it as far as our Post-
office ; and after all that, there was nothing for
him. " Well, a man must eat," was his sound
reflection. " I shall have a bit of dinner, and
consider what to do."
It was getting on for two o'clock, as they
told me, when a man who had come from the
Bear at Hanworth, upon some particular
business in our village, knocked at my Uncle's
door on his return, to say that I had forgotten
(which was the truth) to pay for what I had
the night before. He was also to ask how [
got home, because I looked " uncommon
dickey," as he beautifully expressed it. In
half an hour every man in Sunbury, owning a
good pair of legs, and even a number of women
and boys, set lorth to search the roads and
fields, for it was hard sometimes to tell which
was which, in the direction of Hanworth. This
12 KIT AND KITTY.
was no small proof of the good-will and brave
Imraanity of our neighbourhood ; f )r any of
these people might have lost themselves in the
iiumb frost, and the depth of drift ; and there
were signs of another storm in the north-east.
My Uncle, with a big shovel on his shoulder,
and a bottle of brandy in his pocket, put a
guinea upon me at first, and then two, and then
jumped to five pounds, and even ten, as the
hope of discovery waned ; and at last, when
some had abandoned the search, and others
were muffiing themselves against the new
snowstorm, he mounted a gate and with both
hands to his mouth shouted — " Five and twenty
pounds for my nephew Kit — dead or alive ;
twenty-five pounds reward to any one who
finds Christopher Orchardson."
This may appear a great deal of money for
anybody to put me at (except my own mother,
if I had one), and the people who heard it were
of that opinion, none of them being aware per-
haps that the reward would come out of my
mother's property, which had no trustees to
prevent it. And for many years afterwards,
if I dared to think anything said or done by
my Uncle was anything short of perfection,
the women, and even the men would ask — as
HAT^O! 13
if I were made of ingratitude — " Who offered
five and twenty pounds for you ? "
And they felt the effect of it now so strongly
that a loud hurrah went along the white plain,
and several stout fellows who were turnino-
home turned back again, and flapped them-
selves, saying, " Never say die ! " With one
accord a fresh pursuit began, though perhaps
of a ghost even whiter than the snow ; and
taking care to keep in sight of one another,
they began to poke more holes, wherever they
could poke them. For some had kidney-bean
sticks, and some had garden forks, and some
had sharp pitch-forks from the stable ; and if
they had found me, I had surely been riddled,
and perhaps had both my eyes poked out. But
the Lord was good to me once more, and I
escaped being trussed, as I might have been.
For just when it was growing dark, and
another bitter night was setting in, with
spangles of hard snow driving, as they said,
like a glazier's diamond into their eyes, and
even the heartiest man was saying that nothing
more could be done for it ; through the drifting
of the white, and the lowering of the gray,
a high-mettled horse came churning. It was
beautiful, everybody thought, to see him scatter-
14 KIT AND KITTY.
iug the snow like liigliway dust, flinging from
his nostrils scornful volumes, with his great
eyes flashing like a lighthouse in the foam.
Men huddled aside, lest he should spurn them
like a drift, for his courage was roused, and
he knew no fear, but gloried in the power of
his leap and plunge.
" Giving it over, are you all ? " Sam Hen-
derson shouted, as he drew the rein, and his
favourite stallion Haro stood, and looked with
the like contempt at them. " Then a horse
and dog shall shame your pluck."
From beneath the short rough cloak he wore,
a pair of sharp eyes shone like jewels, and two
little ears pricked up like thorns.
" Spike is the best man here," said Sam, as
the wiseacres crowded round him. " All you
have done is to spoil the track. Keep behind
me, and let me see things for myself."
My Uncle, who never had been fond of Sam,
said something disdainful and turned away ;
but Henderson, without even looking at him,
rode on, and the best men followed him. He
took them almost to the Bear Hotel, watching
both sides of the road, as he went, and still
keeping his dog before him. Then he turned
back, and said, " Keep you all on my left.
HARO ! 15
Noue of you tread any gap on the right. I
saw the place as I came along. When the
moon gets clear, we shall find him."
The snow-cloud in the east began to lift, and
the moon came out with a bronzy flush, as my
Uncle told me afterwards, and the broad ex-
panse of snow was flickered with wan light
and with gliding shades. Then all came back
to the place where Sam, being mounted and
able to command the slope, had discovered
certain dimples — for they were nothing more —
which might be the trace of footsteps snowed
over. Here he gave his horse to be held, and
leaving the road with his little Scotch terrier
Spike, scooped the light surface from one of the
marks, and found a hard clot beneath it. He
put the dog's nose in, and patted him, and
Spike gave a yelp, as if a rat were in prospect.
" Let him alone. Don't say a word to him,"
cried Sam, as our people grew eager. " He
don't want you to teach him his business. If
you knew your own half as well, there'd be less
money in London than in Sunbury. Keep
back, I sa}', all of you."
The little dog led them across a broad meadow,
two or three hundred yards from the highway,
yet in a straighter line towards Sunbury, and
16 KIT AND KITTY.
nearly in the track of an old footpath. Then
he stopped in a dip, where a great rise of snow,
like a surge of ground-swell, swung away from
them, and combed over into the field beyond
without breaking, like the ground-swell frozen.
They said that it was a most beautiful sight,
such as they never had seen before, and could
scarcely hope to see again in one lifetime ;
reminding them of the great wax-works, when
the wax is being bleached, at Teddington. But
tliey could not stop to look at it ; and the little
dog went round, and dived into the tunnel on
the further side.
Preseutly he yapped, as if in hot chase of
a rabbit ; and an active young fellow jumped
through the great wave, and was swallowed
up, leaving his hat behind. Then they heard
him crying faintly, " Here he is ! Come round,
and dig us out to this side."
It is a strange thing, and I have not the
smallest remembrance of having done it ; but I
must have dragged my frozen body through the
hedge, in the cope of life with death, and got
on the leeward side of a stiff bulwark of newly
bill-hooked ashplant, which stopped the sweep
of drift, and served to cast it like the lap of
a counterpane over me. In the bottom where
HAEO ! 17
I lay there was scarcely any snow, but a soft
bed of fallen leaves, upon which they found
me lying like a gate-post flung by, to season.
" Dead as a doornail ! " said Basp the baker.
" Stiff as a starfish ! " cried Pluggs the grocer,
who had spent his last holidays at the seaside.
" Ay, and colder than a skinned eel ! " added
Jakes, the barrowman.
But my Uncle said — " Out with you, coward
lot of curs ! Our Kit shall outlive every one
of you. The Lord hath not put him in that
nest for nothing."
Then Sam Henderson pulled off his cloak,
like the good Samaritan, and threw it over me.
And taking me by the shoulders, with my
Uncle at the feet, he helped to bear my stiff
body back to the road ; where they set me upon
Haro, with my head upon his mane ; and the
young man who had jumped into the drift was
sent ahead, to fetch Dr. Sippets to my Uncle's
house.
YOL. n.
KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER II.
ON THE SHELF.
That season, there was no Christmas-tide for
me ; no " Happy New Year," to wish to others,
and be wished ; nor even so much as a Valen-
tine's Day, to send poems to girls, and get
caricatures. In the leeward of the wild storm,
I had been saved by a merciful power from the
frost of death, and by constant care and inde-
fatigable skill, I was slowly brought back into
the warmth of life. But strong as I was, and
of tough and active frame, with habits of
temperance and exercise, there was no making
little of the mischief done ; and I could not
have survived it, if I had been a clever fellow.
For one of the most racking and deadly evils of
all that beset the human frame was established
in mine, and there worked its savage will. When
I was just beginning to get warm again, and to
ask where I was, and to stretch my tingling
ON THE SHELF. 19
joints, symptoms of rheumatic fever showed,
and for weeks and for months it ran its
agonizing course. The doctor did all that any
man could do ; and my Uncle went up to his
cupboard in the wall by the head of his bed, and
brought down a leather bag, and looked at it
fondly, and then looked at me.
" It was put by for a rainy day ; and there
can't be a rainier day than this," he said with
some drops in his own eyes, as Tabby told me
afterwards. '' Let the business go to the dogs,
if it will. Where's the use of keeping up, with
no one to keep up for ? Dr. Sippets, I never
thought to see this day. Fetch the best man
in London, and let him cheat me, if he
will."*
If I had been at all a clever fellow, ray mind
would have stayed with me, and worried out
my heart, when dreadfully pushed to carry on
its proper work, with the lowering and the
heightening, and the quivering of the pulse.
But being just a simple mind, that took its cue
from body, and depended on the brain for
motion, and the eyes for guidance, when these
went amiss it quite struck work, and never
even asked who its master was. Thus it came
to pass that Kitty's sweet and tender letters lay
20 KIT AND KITTY.
upon a shelf but a yard or two away, and no
hand was yet stretched out for them.
At last there came a letter sent in special
trouble, as was plain from many signs upon it,
and from the mode of its delivery. For Mrs.
Wilcox came herself, the roads being once more
passable, and perceiving how things were in the
house had a long talk with my Uncle. This
good woman, as I may have said, was much
attached to Miss Fairthorn, and had promised
to take charge of my replies, and even to give
me tidings of her, if anything happened to dis-
able her from writing. But no provision had
been made for any default on my part, as I was
supposed to be free, and strong, and sure to
come when called for.
" The poor young thing has been in such a
taking," Mrs. Wilcox told my Uncle, " at not
having so much as a single line from your poor
nephew, you see, sir. You may put it to your-
self how you would feel to be looking and look-
ing for letters about business ; and this is worse
than business to young folk ; they goes on as if
it was all the world to them. And Miss Kitty
always did have such an uncommon tender
heart ; you never see the like of it in all your
life. What was she to conclude except that
ON THE SHELF. 21
Mr. Kit had tlirowed her over, and perhaps
taken up with some of them country girls down
here. It wasn't, you see, sir, as if he had
written once, and told her he meant to stick fast
to her. And yet she couldn't bring her mind
for to believe that such a nice young gent would
be guilty of such conduct ; and of course she
knows right well how bootiful she is, though
you never see her look that sort of way, as
young ladies with a quarter of ber good looks
does. I declare to you, sir, when I was in the
'bus, holding of this bag exactly as you see me
now, I felt that I could scratch out both his
eyes, tall and strong as he is by Miss Kitty's
account. Bless her gentle heart, what a way
she will be in, when she hears she have thought
ill of bim undeserving. Though a relief, sir,
on the whole, for I believe she never done it ;
and better be in a snow-driff than belong to
another woman."
" You are a remarkably sensible lady," said
ray Uncle, desiring to make the best of things.
" But I do not like to open poor Kit's letters ;
and there are six of them already on a bracket
by his bed, waiting till he comes round a bit.
You must understand, Mrs. Wilcox, what this
means. He isn't off his head, exactly, but —
22 KIT AND KITTY.
you know tliat we all get a little abroad, when
we lie on our backs so long as not to know our
legs."
" I do, sir, I do. I can feel it all through
me, by means of what happened to my own
husband. Ah, he was a man — could take a
scuttle full of coals, and hold it out straight, the
same as you might march up the aisle on a
Sunday, with your hat right for'ard, to show
that it was brushed and shining. But poor
"Wilcox, he went away at last, with a tub of
clothes in his lungs, and the same may occur to
the best of us ; mayn't it, Mr. Orchardson?
But if you feel a delicate sort of feeling about
breaking open the young lady's letter, and the
young gent from the snow-driff is still looking
at his legs, I can tell you a good bit of what is
going on ; though I never was one, and Wilcox
knew it, for hearkening so much as a word they
say, when the women have done with their
teas, and the men stand against the low green
palings, with a pot, and a pipe as long as their
shirt-sleeves.
" Well, sir, it do appear that two bad ones
has turned up, over and above the one always
there, which I will not name, consequent upon
fear. One was Sir Cumberance Hotchpots, or
ON THE SHELF. 23
some such name, proving to be a wicked man
from the North ; and the other was her brother,
as ought to be all over, according to the flesh of
marriage, sir. Donovan Bulwrag is his name,
but every one prefer to call him ' Downy.' A
hulking young man is my opinion of him ; and
it has been my lot to behold a good many. You
may see it on the tables, sir, that come down
from the Mount, going into church any Sunday,
that such is forbidden by the law of Moses, for
any Christian man to marry. Their father is
one, and their mother is one ; and they have no
right to make a pair of them. You holds on
with that, sir, as a respectable man, who has
trodden his way in the world, is bound to do ? "
" Yes, Mrs. Wilcox, I hold to it strongly,"
said my Uncle, " if I understand you. Do you
mean to tell me, that this young man "
" There is the facts, sir, and none of my telling.
I was always a very bad hand at telling, though
Wilcox he used to say otherwise, when he
might be overcome in argument. But facts or
no facts, the truth is as I tell you. This Mr.
Donovan have come home, from Germany, or
some such foreign parts ; and whatever his mean-
ing is, that is what it comes to — Miss Kitty
can't have no peace with him. And a yellow
24 KIT AND KITTY.
young man, Mr. Orchardson ; as yellow as a
daffodil, his hair, and beard, and eyes."
" I don't care a fig what his colour may be,"
cried my Uncle, being now on his high ropes ;
" he must be a black blackguard, and nothing
else, if he dares to take advantage of a girl he
should protect. Poor Kitty, what a kettle of
fish, she is in ! You need not tell me, Ma'am,
I can see it all. I have always had a gift in
that way. Tliough I have not had so very
much to do with women, for which I thank the
Lord, every night of my life, I understand
their ways,- as well as if I had been one of
them."
" Then you must be a wonderful man, sir,
indeed. The most wonderful I ever come
across." Mrs. Wilcox smoothed her dress, as if
to ask what was inside it, but reserved her own
opinion as to what was not.
" I mean it," said my Uncle, who grew
stronger always, whenever called in question.
" It may not be the general thing ; but so it is
with me. And now I would venture to ask you,
Ma'am, what you consider the next thing to do."
" Well," replied the lady, highly flattered by
request for advice from such an oracle, "if I
were a strong man and a very clever one, I know
ON THE SHELF. 25
what I sliould do at once. I should go up and
fetch her away from them all, and let none of
them come anigh her."
" And what would you say, Ma'am, supposing
you had done it, when you found yourself served,
the next morning perhaps, with a warrant for
abduction of a maiden under age, and then com-
mitted for trial as a criminal ? What would
you say to that, Mrs. Wilcox ? "
" I should say that the laws was outrageous,
and made for the encouragement of vice and
wickedness. And I should put it in the news-
papers, right and left, till the public came and
broke down the doors of the jail, and got up a
public subscription for me."
" Where is her father ? What is he about ? "
My Uncle thought it waste of time to argue
after that. " Her father is the only person who
can interfere. Has he been knocked on the
head, and killed by one of his own battering
rams ? " Mr. Orchardson's knowledge of
scientific matters was more elementary than
even mine.
" Not to my knowledge, sir ; though like
enough that will be the end of him. He have
gone to the ends of the earth, I believe, to
arrange for going ever so much farther in the
2G KIT AKD KITTY.
Spring. There is no help to be got from him,
sir, now, if there ever was any chance of it.
The poor young lady is delivered as a lamb
between two lions to devour her, with a tigress
patting them on the back, and holding her down
while they carry it out. What will Mr. Kit
say, if you allow it, sir ? "
" You may be quite sure that I will never
allow it, though at present I cannot see what
to do. You have quicker wits than we have.
Ma'am ; I ask you again, is there anything you
can think of? Has her father any friends who
would take her in ? "
" Not one, to my knowledge," answered Mrs.
Wilcox, after counting on her finger-tips some
names that she had heard of; "that dreadful
creature have contrived to make every lady in
the land afraid of her. And the poor Professor
only knows the learned men, and the learneder
they are the less they cares for one another.
'Tis the learning that is at the foot of all this
trouble. You must see it so yourself, sir, when
you come to think about it."
"And the law, Mrs. Wilcox, the law is still
worse. She is not of age, you see ; and her
father has placed her, or at any rate left her,
in the charge of that woman, whom he has been
ON TUE SHELF. 27
fool enougli to marry. If my nephew were in
health, I should say to him at once, ' Take the
bull by the horns, or at least take the young
lady, get a licence, and marry her, and defy
those people. Her father's consent has been
given ; and if he chooses to leave her in that
helpless state, you must rescue her, and have
no shilly-shallying. But for me to come and
take her, is another pair of shoes. It might
ruin her fair name, as well as get me into
trouble ; and what could I do with her, wheu
I had got her ? "
" You are right, sir ; I see it all as clearly as
you put it. But will you come up, and have a
talk with her? A word from you would go as
far as ten from me. And it would make her
feel so much less forsaken like. I could manage
to get her down to my little place, and the
news I have got for her about poor Mr. Kit
will set her up in one way, while it knocks her
down in another. Oh, how she have cried, to
think that he could be so felse to her, because
she wouldn't believe a single word of it, all the
blessed time ! And now, if I can send my little
Ted to her to-night — the sharpest little chap he
is, in all the brick and mortar trade ; he have
never lost a sixpence, sir, from all them roaring
28 KIT AND KITTY.
navvies — though you might not think it, it will
brisk her up amazingly. There is nothing so
hagonizing to the female spirit, sir, as to find
itself forsaken by the other sex. And your
nephew. Master Kit, he mustn't think of dying
yet ; no cough about him, sir, nor nothing in
the kidneys, only got a chill from being frozen
to a hicicle, and his head upon the moon, which
goes for nothing. Lor', sir, the number of
young men comes every day, from the best part
of London too, according to my Ted, a-staring
at the great works round our way, wdiich is to
be the fashion in a few more years, and not a
head among them fit to go upon a donkey ! It
doesn't matter what's the matter with the head,
one item, sir, in these times now upon us and
increasing daily. Keep your spirits up, sir,
and I shall tell Miss Kitty. A young man, as
is all right, except inside his head, isn't no
more to complain of than a cuckoo-clock, that
have left off striking, and keeps better time for
that. What time did you say the last 'bus at
Hampton was, sir ? If I was to lose it, wherever
should I be ? And a good step from here to
Hampton too."
" I will send you to Hampton, in the spring-
cart, Mrs. Wilcox," said my Uncle, warmly
ON THE SHELF. 29
joining in her estimate of the age ; " and
to-morrow, if the roads permit, I shall hope to
call upon you, about eleven o'clock ; and if you
can manage to get Miss Fairthorn to meet me,
why, it may be a little comfort to her, and. we
may be able perhaps to see what can be done
for her."
30 KIT AND KriTY.
CHAPTER III.
A DOWNY COVE.
It could hardly be expected that my Uncle
Corny should grow very miserable about this
matter. He knew that young people of the
ordinary cast tumble into love and tumble out
again, with perhaps a little running of the eyes
and nose, and a hat crushed on the head, or a
ribbon saturated ; but nothing that penetrates
the skin, far less puts a " tub of clothes," as Mrs.
Wilcox said, into the lungs. And it would not
have been reasonable to demand of him, that he
should believe in any grand distinction between
the case of Kitty and myself, and that of any
other couple he might come across, in a life
whose main nucleus was Covent Garden. That
which chiefly moved him, as he told me in the
end, and as I might have known without his
telling, was the iron sense of justice, gilded
haply at the corners, and crowned with a little
A DOWNY COVE. 31
touch of chivalry. To his sturdy sense of right
it seemed a monstrous thing, that an innocent
girl, and such a lovely girl, should be locked
away from all who were longing to help her,
and left at the mercy of two bad men.
Therefore he donned his Sunday clothes,
though he grumbled a good deal at having to
do it, and without a word to me put old Spanker
in the shafts, and drove away alone in the green
spring-cart, with a face which made all the
village say to one another, that he must have a
County-court job on his hands. Dr. Sippets,
who came to see me every day, had by this
time supplied such a row of medicine-bottles,
that we glazed a new wall with them forty
yards long, for he would not allow a farthing
on their return, though he put them in the bill
at twopence halfpenny apiece ; and that glazing
brought him even more than that much again,
from the number of boys' fingers which he had
to dress. For he was a skilful, as well as
zealous man, and did his utmost for his patients
and his family.
He had now begun to " exhibit " mustard oil
externally, as well as zinc, and especially
sulphur inside ; till the sulphur began to ooze
through my pores, as if I had been a Tea rose
32 KIT AND KITTY.
suffering from mildew. Then Tabby had to
rub me with the mustard oil ; and the more
I groaned, the surer she became of its effect.
With this vigorous treatment I began to rally,
and even heard Uncle Corny depart, and con-
trived to steal a peep at him behind the window
curtain. But they told me some fib about his
errand.
When he put up his liorse, somewhere near
Holland Park, he had not far to walk to find
Mrs. Wilcox, who received him with great
cordiality. And she sent her little Ted, who
proved to be the very boy that had guided me
among the brickfields, with a note which he
managed to convey to Miss Fairthorn. "Rumpus
going on," he said when he came back ; " they
makes more rumpus in that house, than a score
of navvies over one red herring. But cooky's
not a bad sort ; she'll give it to her."
It was nearly an hour before Miss Fairthorn
came, and then she was so nervous, and down-
hearted, that they scarcely knew what to do
with her. At first she had quite forgotten
Uncle Corny, having never seen him in his best
clothes at home, and being distracted with
sorrow and ill usage. For as yet Mrs. Wilcox
had been unable to get a word with her about
A DOWNY COVE. 33
the visit of the day before. Gradually however
she began to understand what had happened,
and why she had not heard from me.
" Then he lias not forgotten me, after all ! "
she said, in a tone that made lier old nurse sob,
and ray Uncle look out of tlie window. " Some-
thing told me all along, that he could not forget
me, any more than 1 could do such a thing to
him. But you say that he is ill, that he has
long been ill ; and perhaps he will never be well
any more. Tell me the truth, I would rather
know it. Is he dead, is he dead, Mr. Orchard-
son i
" No, my dear, thank the Lord, he is all
alive, and getting ever so much better every
day. He went off his head, just a little foi- a
time ; and he did not know me from the man
in the moon ; and what do you think was the
word that was on his tongue, all day, and all
night too for that matter ? Gruess, and I'll tell
you if you are right."
" Oh, I know what it was ! It began with a
K, and it was not a very long word, was it ?
It was ' Kitty.' Don't tell me that it was
anything but ' Kitty.' "
" No, my dear, I won't, because I never tell
fibs. Sure enough that was it, like a cherry-
VOL. u. D
34 KIT AND KITTY.
clapper; only in a hundred different tones. I
used to say that if you were there, you'd get
heartily tired of your own name."
" Never, so long as it came from his lips.
But I think I should have broken my heart, all
the same. It has been the kindest thing you
could do, to keep all knowledge of this long
suspense from me. How soon will he be better ?
How soon will he be well again ? Well enough,
I mean, to come down, and let me see him ? "
" At present. Miss Fairthorn, wherever he
is not mustard, he is brimstone. You cannot
expect him to present himself in that condition.
But we have got the mischief out of his joints
by this time. Dr. Sippets considers it a very
happy thing that the ailment flew there ; for
his heart will be all right, and that's a great
part of (he system, in love. His head is of no
importance in that condition ; and Mrs. Wilcox
proved to me last night, that it is quite a super-
fluity in the present days. Madam, you know
you did, and you did it thoroughly."
My Uncle gave a wink at Mrs. Wilcox, not
with any overture to familiarity — for he was
very shy of widows — but to intimate to her
that she should talk a little nonsense, after his
example, as a rescue from hysterics. For poor
A DOWNY COVE. 35
Kitty had been passing through much outrage
all the morning; and now to be met with this
shock of strange news (bad to her head, but
perhaps good for her heart) after such a long
time of dejection, was enough to throw the
finest daughter of Divine Science into some con-
fusion as to all her organisms. But she
fetched herself back from the precipice of sobs,
with a deep draught of air, and spoke as she
did not feel.
" If he is being treated like — like beef, I
think I ought to have a voice in the matter.
Will you let me come down, and do it for him
— or see that it is done properly ? My father
has taught me so many things "
" My dear," said my Uncle, being truly
thankful to her, for not even pulling out her
handkerchief, " you are the sweetest young lady
I have ever met. No, you shall not come down
and nurse our Kit ; not only because it is not
the place for you, bat also that it might be very
bad for him. His mind must not come back
with a jerk, however pleasant the jerk may be.
He must come round slowly, and he has begun
to do it, under Tabby Tapscott's scrubbing-
brush. But you shall come and see him, in a
week, my dear, if you think you can hold out
36 KIT AND KITTY.
SO long here. And now tell me, what is going
on, to urge your gentle nature so."
The young lady looked at Mrs. Wilcox, as if
she could hardly tell what to do. Slie was
very unwilling to refuse my Uncle anything he
might ask her; and yet she could not bring
herself to speak of such matters to him.
" I will tell you all about it, when she is
gone," said the lady of the shop, as if hurried
for time ; " but I know by her look that she is
getting in a fright. What will they do, if they
catch you out, dearie ? "
" I defy them. I defy them. They may do
what they like. Now I know that Kit stands
fast to me, after all he has suffered for my sake,
am I likely to show the white feather ? Uncle
Corny, I will come away with you, and let them
do their worst, if you will tal>:e me."
She pulled her hat down on her forehead,
and drew her crinoline into small compass, as if
she were ready to mount our spring-cart ; and
her manner had such an effect on my Uncle — •
for very pretty girls do even more by attitude,
than by words or looks — that he saw himself
driving her away, and looking back with a
whistle of defiance at the world. Moreover she
had called him " Uncle Corny," which put him
A DOWNY COVE. 37
on his mettle to deserve it ; and though there
have been few men born as yet, with more gift
of decision in their nature, he looked at her
lovingly, and hesitated.
" It will not do," Mrs. Wilcox interrupted, as
if she were once more in office as nurse. "Of
law I know nothing, sir, and you do ; as you
was pleased to tell me yesterday. If her father
was at home, and sanctioned it, no doubt it
might be in your jurisdiction " — the good lady
was proud of her law, and repeated — •" it might
be in your jurisdiction, sir. But without any
sign of that, where should we be ? Pulled up
for conspiracy against the realm, and nothing
for me, but to put my shutters up."
" I fear that you are right. Ma'am," replied
my Uncle, " though I don't care twopence for
the law sometimes, when I feel better law inside
me. But it is the young lady we must think of
first. We must let her do nothing to injure
herself. Have patience, my dear. They may
torment you in the house, but they cannot take
you out of it, and marry you to anybody,
against your own will and pleasure. Your will
and pleasure is to have our Kit ; and with the
will of the Lord, you shall do so."
" I suppose I must go back. There seems
1.87303
38 KIT AND KITTY.
nothin^^ else to do ; " Miss Fairthorn spoke
very sadly, looking from one to the other, and
trying to be cheerful. " But if the worst comes
to the worst, will you find a place for me, Uncle
Corny? I have got a little money my dear
father gave me; and they shall take away my
life, before they get it."
" Bravo, well said indeed, my dear ! " This?
alone was needed to confirm my Uncle in his
high opinion of her. " What a wife you will
make for a steady young man ! Yes, my. dear
child, I will find you a place, and you shan't
pay sixpence for it. And none but your father
shall take you away, unless the Lord Chancellor
comes himself to fetch you."
" Thank you. Then I shall know what to
do. I am not so much afraid of them, now I
know that Kit is true. I shall say to myself —
' What is this to put up with, after all that he
has borne for me ? ' Give him my best love,
and tell him to get well, and sit by the window,
and look out for me. Good-bye, Uncle Corny ;
I will not attempt to thank you. Good-bye,
Nurse. I don't deserve such friends. They
may do what they like now, and I shall only
laugh."
" She deserves the best friends, and she shall
A DOWNY COVE. 39
have them too," Mr. Orchardson said, as soon
as she was gone, with Httle Ted to see the way
clear for her ; " that's what I call a downright
good girl, without a bit of humbug in her. A
fig for their science ! Will it ever produce such
a fine bit of nature as that is ? Now tell me,
as far as you can, Mrs. Wilcox, what it is they
want to do with her, why they torment her so,
and what we can do to stop it."
My Uncle laid his watch on the table, because
he wished to be home before dark, and. tlie days,
though drawing out nicely, were not very long.
He knew that the lady with whom he had to
deal, instead of putting things into small com-
pass, would fetch a large compass about them,
whose radius would only be lengthened by any
disturbance or hurry on his part. So he merely
placed his watch as a silent, or at least a com-
paratively quiet witness, and reproof; but the
scheme failed, as it deserved to do. All lie
obtained by it was a lesson, which he often
repeated afterwards — never set a watch to go
against a woman's tongue ; it puts her on her
mettle to outgo it ; and one wants winding, but
the other never does.
Mrs. Wilcox had not so very much to tell,
but she found a vast quantity to say, and never
40 KIT AND KITTY.
said it twice to tlie same effect. Stripped of
her embellishments, reflections, divergences, and
other little sallies, it was something as follows.
Captain Fairthorn had been called away to
see to the fitting of some ship near Glasgow,
with engines of a special kind, and large coal-
storage, so that she might keep at sea for
months together — seven years the lady said,
but that looked like a lady's tale. And there
were to be wonderful appliances, such as had
never been heard of, on board her, as well as
every kind of scientific instrument, all under
the Professor's own direction. If ever a man
was in his own element, this was the man, and
the time and place were there. No wonder
that he forgot all other things below the moon ;
and it was much to his credit that before he
started, he insisted on a promise from his wife
and two step-daughters, that his dear child
Kitty should be treated kindly, and harassed by
none of them wliile he was away. Upon that
condition only, would he send them every month
a handsome sum out of the liberal pnyment he
was to receive lor his services. And he thought
himself very firm, and most sagacious — even
suspicious it might be — in providing that before
he drew each cheque, he should have by post
A DOWNY COVE. 4l
a line from his own daughter, to this effect —
" I am very happy, and every one is most kind
to me,"
Unluckily his suspicions were not very
shrewd ; for he forgot that there were pens
and ink and fingers at Bulwrag Park, quite
a|)art irom Kitty's, well ahle to afford him that
assurance in her name, for the gift of forgery
was in the family ; and his daughter was not
to distract him with letters, so long as he knew
that she was comfortahle.
No sooner was he off the scene, than that
old rake. Sir Cumberleigh Hotchpot, reappeared,
having purposely kept away till then, for he
dreaded the simple and calm man of science.
He annoyed poor Miss Fairthorn with his
odious advances, and coarse familiarity, and
slangy talk, and he took a mean advantage of
her gentle diffidence by perpetually assuming
that she was pledged to him. This, and the
contempt and spiteful hatred of her stepmother,
seemed more than enough for the poor girl to
have to bear; but soon a far greater distress
was added. Donovan Bulwrag, the only son
of the Honourable Mrs. Bulwrag Fairthorn —
as she absurdly called herself — came home from
the continent, where he had been engaged on
42 KIT AND KITTY.
the staff of some embassy, after running from
his debts ; and the house, and the people, and
the chattels therein were not o:ood euoiifrh fur
him to tread upon. This would have mattered
little to Miss Fairthorn (who was rarely
favoured with the Bulwrag society, except for
the purpose of insult) if this divine Downy, as
his mother called him, had not taken into his
great yellow head the idea that he was in love
with Kitty.
This dearly loved son of his mother was a
strong young man of three or four and twenty,
able to take his own part anywhere, either with
violence or with fraud, but preferring the latter,
wijen it would do the trick. Mrs. Wilcox said
that he had three crowns to his head, which
went beyond all her experience, although she
had been in a hospital. She had known male-
factors with two sometimes, and you never
could tell where their mischief began, because
it started double ; but she had combed the hair
of this boy once, and nothing would tempt her
to do it again. She was not superstitious, but
afraid more often of being too much the other
way ; and she left it entirely to the future to
prove her a fool, if she deserved it. Only let
any one look at his head.
A DOWNY COVE. 43
For it was not only that he was bad inside,
but that he gave the same idea at first sight, to
any one having any sense of human looks. It
was not Mrs. Wilcox alone w4io said this, but
my Uncle as well, when he happened to see the
young man, while going to look for his horse.
He had notice that he might have the luck to
meet him, and sure enough he had, if there was
any luck in it. And my Uncle Corny, though
a man of strong opinions, did not go so entirely
by outward show.
Mr. Downy Bulwrag, as the grandson of a
lord, and likely enough to be a lord himself, if
people in his way died out of it, had a sense
of being somebody, and liked the world to know
that he was rather an important part of it.
Not that he swaggered, or stuck out his arms,
or jerked himself into big attitudes — as some
bits of the human chip do — all that he left for
fellows who had yet to prove their value, and
knew much less of life than he did. His manner
and air were of solid and silent conviction, that
without him this earth would be a place unfit
for a civilized race to inhabit. He prided him-
self, if he had any pride, upon his knowledge
of human nature ; and like most who do that,
he attributed every word and every action to
44 KIT AND KITTY.
selfishness, spite, and cupidity. And like the
great bulk of such people again, he was truly
consistent in his own freedom from any loftier
motives.
His mother's pet name for him had been
confirmed by all who had the honour of know-
ing him. He was downy in manner, as well as
appearance, and (according to the slang of the
day) a " downy cove " in all his actions. No
one could look at his bulky form (which greatly
resembled his father's), enormous head furnished
with bright yellow hair, soft saffron moustache,
and orange-coloured ej^elashes, without think-
ing of a fat downy apricot, and fearing that he
had none of its excellence. His face too was
flattened in its own broad substance, as that
yellow fruit often is against the wall, and
bulged at the jowl with the great socket of
square jaws. But the forehead was the main
and most impressive feature ; full, and round,
and almost beetling, wider even than the great
wide jaws, but for its heaviness it would have
looked like the bulwark of a mighty brain ; and
there was room for the brain of a Cuvier in
that head.
My good Uncle Corny, meeting this man in
the road, and knowing who he was from de-
A DOWNY COVE. 45.
scription received, clapped his keen gray eyes
with emphasis upon him, as much as to say,
" I mean to look you through, young man."
Downy, with his usual self-esteem — -which
stands like a dummy at every loophole, when
the garrison of self-respect is gone — gazed at
the grower with a placid acceptance of rustic
admiration. Little did he dream that another
creak of his boots would have brought the crack
of a big whip round his loins ; for my Uncle
was a hasty man sometimes, and could prove
it his duty to be so. And the heavy half-
somnolent look of Downy — as if he were gaping
with his eyes almost — was enough to put a
quick busy man in a rage, even if he had no
bone to pick with the man who was making
a dog of him.
46 KIT AND KITTY,
CHAPTER lY.
OFF THE SHELF.
I HAD missed *' the enjoyment of that bad
weather " — as one of our workmen called it,
when he drew his wages gratis — through having
too much at the outset. There had been at
least six weeks of frost, some of it very intense;
and it was said by those who make a study of
such things, that Christmas Day, 1860, was the
coldest day known in the south of England,
since Christmas Day, 1796. And but for a
break at the end of the year, when a sadden
thaw set in before the steady return of low
temperature, it is likely that the Thames would
have held an ice-fair above London Bridge ; as
in 1814, and as threatened again in 1838. But
the removal of old London Bridge has made
perhaps a great difference in that matter.
One of the reasons, why I could not get rid
of the chill that struck into my system, was
OFF THE SHELF. 47
perhaps the renewed attack of cold every nigjit
through all that bitter time. For in old-
fashioned houses like my Uncle's, there was no
fireplace in the bedrooms ; and a frying-pan
full of hot embers, our Tabby's device, used to
set us a-cougliing. Every now and again I
seemed to hear, when I called my wits together,
the crisp light glint of the gliding skate, the
hollow heel-tap of the gliddering slide, and the
sharp merry shouts of boys and men dashing
at the hockey-bung in the jagged slippery
huddle. Then more snow fell, and the ice grew
treacherous, and all was mantled in a white
hush again.
But now the days were milder, and the ice
had broken up, and the roads were full of quag-
mires as they always are, when a long frost has
gone to the bottom of their metal ; and every-
body said that it was very biave of my good
Aunt Parslow to pay a guinea for a fly, and
come all the way from Leatherhead, to see if
I was still alive. And it was not for the sake
of being kept warm on the road — though that
was the reason she assigned for it — that she
obtained permission from Mr. Ohalker to bring
his pretty daughter on the visit she was paying.
Miss Parslow was long past the age of love-
48 KIT AND KITTY.
making, and had made a sound investment of
her affections among the grateful canine race ;
but none the less for that she felt an interest in
watching the progress, or it might even be
the backslidings, of her own species in the fine
old game. And Sam Henderson had conquered
all her prejudice against him, by riding over
more than once in the worst state of the roads,
when no wheels could pass over them, for no
other purpose, as he positively vowed, than to
comfort her kind heart about her dear nephew's
illness.
" Don't tell me," she said, as soon as she had
seen me, and cried over me a little, for I was
desperately weak ; " what he wants is warmth,
and change of air, and particularly careful
nursing. He will fall into a decline, if he stops
here ; and then what will become of his darling
Kitty ? What chance has he here in tliis
wretched little room, like a frog, or an empty
bucket hanging in a well ? And here you are
giving him gruel and tapioca ! Has he ever
had a pint of real turtle ? Just answer me that,
Mr. Orchardson."
" Well, no," replied my Uncle, looking at her
with surprise ; " I never heard that turtle was
for any but Lord Mayors. Kit has had every-
OFF THE SHELF. 49
thing, regardless of expense, that our skilful
Dr. Sippets recommended him. Perhaps you
know better than he does. Miss Parslow. And
the bottles of stuff, every two hours day and
night, with half a pint rubbed in at frequent
intervals, till he groans, and that shows that it
has acted on his system."
" System indeed ! There is no system in it,
except to kill him, in spite of the Parslow
constitution. The roads are very soft, but I
shall send for him to-morrow, with a proper
close carriage and a pair of horses. And if
you try to prevent it, let his death lie at your
door."
" There is no doubt," said my Uncle, after
some consideration, " that your house is much
warmer, and better fitted up than this with
warm baths, and all that which he ought to.
have. And Sippets said that change of air
would be a great thing for him. I will see
him, before you go away, and if he thinks it
would be safe, let it be so, Ma'am. But you
must not suppose that I have grudged him
anything. And a very pretty bill there will be
for me to pay."
Miss Chalker meanwhile had made a great
discovery, to wit that she had never seen
VOL. n. E
50 KIT AND KITTY.
Hampton Court ; and Sam Henderson, wbo
happened to come in to ask for me, found out
that he had business there that very affernoon.
So after dining with my Uncle, off they set
together, and Miss Parslow undertook to call
for her companion upon her way back to
Leatheihead. Sam had gone up several pages
in Mr. Orchardson's good books, by his rescue
of me, and even more by his refusal of the
handsome reward which he might have claimed
for it. And now there were very few days
when he did not come down, and offer counsel,
and perhaps bring a hare or rabbit. And my
Uncle liked his stories of the lords and ladies,
even when he was unable to believe them.
" Now, I am not going home without a little
talk with you," said Aunt Parslow to her host,
when the young couple had made off; "I must
be rude enough to ask you just to spare me a
little time. And I don't think you can do
much on the ground just now. It must be
quite unfit to work, after all the snow and
thaw, and rain again coming on the top of it.
And the land must be so cold that the spring
will be very late. You see I know a little
about gardening too. Will you try to spare
me half an hour, as I can come so seldom ? "
OFF THE SHELF. 51
" I am always at the service of the ladies,
however busy I may be." My Uncle's answer
was truly polite, but not so true in other points.
" The spring will be very late, and therefore
summer will find us all behind. I mean, if we
get any summer at all."
" It is quite as likely that we shall not, and
that makes it unwise of us to be in any hurry.
Mr. Orchardson, you have a special gift of
never being in a hurry. We women always
envy that way of taking things, because we
cannot hope to attain to i.t. You know what
we are, don't you ? "
" All that is delightful. Ma'am ; so far as I
have had an}^ opportunity of learning. And
all that is reasonable, whenever there is nothing
particular to interfere with it. I assure you
that I have the highest respect for — for the
way that you generally go on."
"You pay me a very high compliment, sir,
and 1 wish that we all deserved it. But I am
sure you will admit that I am reason itself, in
asking you one or two little questions. There
was a little money that fell in, as a sort of
windfall, or whatever you call it, to my niece,
the mother of this unlucky Kit. I scarcely
know what the exact sura was, though of course
52 KIT AND KITTY.
I could easily find out. But it must Lave been
about two thousand pounds. I believe tbat it
came into your possession as his next of kin,
but in trust for him of course. And I conclude
that as he has long been of age, you have
handed it over to Kit himself."
" Not I, Ma'am ; " cried my Uncle, who was
as honest as the day. " That would have been
the worst thing that I could do. I have told
him of it several times, and strongly recom-
mended him to let me apply it for his benefit.
Kit is a sensible and upright fellow, and he
knows when he is in good hands, that he does ;
and he is capable of managing his own affairs,
without anybody's interference."
" Without even his Uncle's ? " asked Miss
Parslow, with a smile.
" Yes, Ma'am ; and without even his great-
aunt's," Mr. Orchardson answered, with a frown.
" I have no doubt that you have acted for the
best ; " the lady returned, for she wished to do
no harm, and saw that it would cost me more
than two thousand pounds to have Uncle Corny
set against me. " And it is the best thing
that could have happened to him, to come into
his capital, when he wants it, without having
had a chance of making any hole in it. I dare
OFF THE SHELF. 53
say lie has not the least idea what it is. It
will be a nice little nest egg, when he wants a
uest."
" I have never let him know how much it is,
and I do not mean to tell him, till I hand it
over. I have never touched a penny of it, my
dear Madam ; which I never would have told
you, if you had shown a doubt of me. I have
allowed it to accumulate at four per cent. ; and
the sum is now three thousand five hundred
pounds, which will be transferred into the name
of Kit, on the day that he marries Miss Fair-
thorn. I should have thought myself justified
in deducting the twenty-five pounds reward, for
his stupidity in losing himself in the snow ; but
Mr. Henderson will not accept it. I have kept
Kit from a baby, and he was dreadful with his
clothes, and broke the backs of nearly all the
books he had at school. But I shall not charge
him sixpence, ma'am. He has worked well for
me, and he can lay in a tree very nearly as well
as I can."
" Mr. Orchardson, you are a gentleman,"
cried my Aunt, much impressed with the
increase of money ; " and I would ask you as a
favour, in return for my enquiries, to allow me
to discharge Dr. Sippet's account."
54 KIT AND KITTY.
" With pleasure, Miss Parslow, for it will be
very stiff, and the uphill time of the year is
before rae. I do not pretend to be a gentleman,
Madam ; but I should not be a man, if I wronged
my brother's baby. The only thing I ask you
is to keep this from Kit's knowledge, and leave
me to tell him at my own time. I have hinted
to him, once or twice, that lie has something
coming ; but if I were to tell him, he would
go and tell his Kitty ; and I wish it to be kept
from all that lot."
" He shall not know a word of it through
me, I can assure you. And I shall consider
what I can do for them. But the first thin<>'
is to set him on his legs again."'
At this very moment, I was being set by a
happy little accident upon my legs, as well as
enjoying a delight which no money (at the
finest compound interest) can insure. In the
corner of the room which my aunt had so decried,
and where I had passed so many miserable weeks,
an old wooden bracket with three little shelves
was nailed against the yellow-ochred wall. I
had often cast my weary eyes in that direction,
and vaguely watched a spider, who was in a
doleful plight, with his legs drawn together, and
no stomach left between them ; such a time was
OFF THE SHELF. 55
it since he had tasted a good fly. On the
bottom shelf were bottles of a loathsome dispo-
sition, pill-boxes, and gallej-pots, and measures
no less repulsive to good taste ; on the middle
shelf lay my mother's Prayer-book, and some
papers of directions, and orders, and powders
and the like ; but what was on the top shelf I
could not tell, and had ofren wondered languidly
in the wandeiings of hazy speculation. And I
might have been content to wonder still, without
any guide-post of interest, if I had not heard
Miss Parslow say — " All, that would do him a
lot more good than those," as she poiuted to the
top shelf, and then to the others.
For a time I forgot all about it, and fell into
a little sleep of indifference ; but being aroused
by the sound of plates and dishes and the clink-
ing of glasses down below, I longed to know
what they were having for dinner, and what
was the joke they were laughing at. Then a
lovely smell of something came into tlie room,
and my head went round with the effort of
searching itself for the name of that fragrance,
although it was nothing but fried calf's liver,
with which Mrs. Tapscott was skilfid. " Shall
I ever have that again, instead of filthy nasti-
ness?" was all that I had sense enougli to want
56 KIT AND KITTY.
to know ; and then I thought somehow of the
starving spider, and looked to ask whether he
was dead yet.
Not only was he not dead, but clearly (after
seeing rain once more upon the window-panes)
he had made up his mind that life was worth
living, and a little activity might make it more
so. Where he got his stuff from is more than I
can tell, for any man w^ould have vowed that his
meagre body could never have supplied him
with the hundredth part of the dreamiest film
of a gossamer. However he knew his own
business best, and he was at it, as if he were
paid by the piece.
Being hungry myself, I could sympathize
with him, while detesting his bloodthirstiness,
as every man must who lives on beef and mutton.
And I saw that he was scheming to attach his
lent cords to a coign of great vantage on the
top shelf of the bracket.
" When spiders go thrumming, there is wild
weather coming," came clumsily into my half-
saved mind ; and then floated into it, like a
gossamer adrift, those m3'Sterious words of Aunt
Parslow. Like the spider, I desired to be on
the move, and partly perhaps through the very
same cause^the yearning for a wholesome bit
OFF THE SHELF. 57
of flesh. At any rate, being" left all alone, for
the resources of the establishment were at full
pressure upon hospitality, I resolved to know
what was on that shelf, though it might be my
destiny to perish in the attempt.
This was not at all an easy job for a fellow
who had spent two months on his back ; and my
weakness amazed me, when I tried to walk, and
I seemed to be twice my own proper length.
Then I burst into a laugh at my own condition,
and tried to move a little chair to help me get
along, but found it made of lead, and had to
coast around it. My sense of distance also was.
entirely thrown out, for the room was quite a
little one, and yet it seemed a gallery. At last
by some process of sprawling and crawling I
laid hold of the corner bracket, and lifting myself
with some difficulty, contrived to grasp all that
was on the top shelf A little pile of letters was
in my riglit hand, and a light shot into my eyes,
and a gleam of soft warmth flowed into my heart.
Then I crawled back to my narrow bed, so
nearly exchanged for a narrower, and laid my
treasure on my shrunken breast, and turned on
my side, that it might not slide away. I felt as
if there were two Kits now — one who knew
nothing about it, and the other who wanted it
58 KIT AND KITTY.
all to himself. And perhaps that other Kit was
Kitty.
How loncj: I continued in this crazed condition,
it is impossible for me to say; but as sure as the
goodness of God is with us, it saved my reason
and my life. For by and by, a warmth of blood
flowed through me, and a sense of being in a
large sweet world ; then memory awoke, and
pain was gone, and I was like a little child
looking at its mother. I did not read a word,
nor care to read ; but I knew whose hand was
on my heart, and I would not disturb it by a
stir of thought, but was satisfied with it, for it
was everything. And so I fell into a long deep
sleep ; and when I awoke, I was a man again.
( 50 )
CHAPTER V.
OUT OF ALL REASON.
Worse troubles than those of the troublesome
body were visiting one worth a thousand of
me. Captain Fairthorn was still in Scotland,
while his fair daughter was being worried, as a
lamb among playful wolves. Without any aid
her stepmother was enough to supply her with
constant misery ; but even her malice was more
easy to endure than the insolent attentions of
two vile men. To these the poor girl was ex-
posed every day ; for if she took refuge in her
own room, she was bodily compelled to come
down again, and her gentle appeals and even
strong disdain were treated as a child's coquetry.
There are few things more truculent to a woman,
even a very 3'oung one, than the jocular assump-
tion that she does not know her mind, and per-
haps has little of that article to know. Sir
Cumberleigh Hotchpot proceeded regularly upon
CO KIT AND KITTY.
that assumption ; and though Kitty had the
sweetest temper ever bestowed as a blessing to
the owner and all around, this foregone conclu-
sion and heavenly pity (from a creature by no
means celestial) drove her sometimes towards the
tremulous line which severs sanity from insanity.
For it has been said, and perhaps with truth,
that the largest and soundest of human minds
could not remain either large or sound, if all
the other minds it had to deal with combined
to pronounce it both small and unsound. Under
the hostile light, it could not save itself from
shrinking ; it would glance about vainly for a
gleam to suit its own, and then straighten to
a line with a cross at either end, like the pupil
of a cat in the iierce light of the sun.
Left in this manner without any friends, with
her heart and her soul among lions, my Kitty
(although of strong substance) began to doubt
whether there is any justice. Good as she was,
and clear and truthful, and possessing that sense
— which is now turned into folly by higher
discoveries — of a guiding power beyond our
own, she strove to believe that no harm could
touch her, while she continued blameless. But
it was a fearful battle for a timid maiden to have
to fight.
OUT OF ALL REASON. 61
Happily both for herself and rae, her enemies,
before they got her down, fell out about their
lawful prey. When Donovan Bulwrag joined
the hunt, at first he was content to turn the
quarry towards the other hounds, and enjoy the
distress unselfishly. But after a while, like an
eager dog, he began to kindle towards the prey,
and shot forth jealous glances, and resolved to
have a nip for his own tooth. So far as such a
hound could care for anything outside his own
hide, he became enamoured of the charming
chase.
His mother with her quick malignant eyes
perceived it, and was furious. Her pet scheme
was that her sweet Downy, her Golden Downy
as she called him, should marry gold, and suc-
ceed to the title — which was not improbable —
restore its impoverished glory, and set- her on
high triumphant. Then her proud sister at
Halliford would come and sue to be reconciled,
and her daughters with the lovely hair would
shine and marry fortunes. She would cast the
Professor and his grimy works behind her, and
reign as she deserved to reign.
In furtherance of this lofty plan, she had
already chosen for her son a most desirable
helpmate, a lady of good birth, and yet suflQ-
62 KIT AND KITTY.
ciently akin with commerce to redden her blue
blood with gold. And a very quiet harmless
girl, who would gladly fill the chest with
guineas, and hand the key to her mother-in-law.
To be a step-inotlier to gentleness had been a
pleasant and refreshing task ; but to be the
mother-in-law of wealth would afford even finer
occasions of delight. She had always been
proud of her son's strong will, and resolute
knowledge of his own mind, while they moved
in the course she had marked for them ; but if
they went astray, they must be crushed. With
her usual promptitude she resolved to bring the
matter to a point at once.
Downy had arrived at the same determination.
He had no idea of doing what he disliked, and
his mother had told him that she meant to
call upon Lady Clara Youcher (the only child
and heiress of the Earl of Clerinhouse), and
expected his company that afternoon in the
carriage she had bought, but not paid for.
" Very well," he had said, " we will talk about
it ; " for his sisters were present, and he preferred
a single combat.
Knowing that his mother was now alone, he
came into the room with his quiet heavy tread,
and sat down, and crossed his \egs, and looked
OUT OF ALL REASON. 63
at her. Downy Bulwrag, even while he was a
boy, had been able to earn a large competence
of hatred ; as a young man he had increased
the stock, and throve upon it, and fattened on
the bntterine of his own slimy fame. Good and
simple young fellows of his own age disliked
him, from what they had heard of him ; but
none had the power to hate him properly, until
they had seen him. But after that they knew
what to do. They spat on the ground when
they thouglit of him.
"What is it. Downy?" asked his mother,
unwarily surrendering the weather-gage of
silence. " You look as if something had put
you out. I think it is I, who have the right to
be put out."
Downy began to roll a cigarette — that ragged
mummy of the great king Nicot, which was
then just beginning to cast its dirty ash about.
He wetted his finger with a little sharp smack
of his lips, but made no answer.
" You will not smoke here," cried his mother,
already discarding the superior maternal tone ;
" I never let your father smoke in my presence ;
and I am sure I shall never let a boy like
you."
" Who was going to smoke ? " asked Downy,
64 KIT AND KITTY.
with gruff contempt at this instance of feminine
precipitance.
" You may smoke, by and by, when you have
a house of your own, and a dear little wife to
spoil you. But you are coming with me to see
her, and you must not smell of tobacco yet.
For a short time you must be on your best
behaviour. Nut that sweet Clara would ever
object to anything you like, my dear ; but that
others might take advantage of it, to make you
seem less devoted to her than you are. She is
the great catch of the season, you know, and
there are so many young men after her. She
will make the best wife any man could have — so
pleasant, and amiable, and accomplished, and in
spite of that so sweetly pretty. When I saw
her, the night before last at Lady Indigo's, I
thought I had never seen any one so charm -
mg.
"" I don't think much of her good looks."
" Then you are most ungrateful, for she dotes
on you. Her dear friend, the Countess, said —
' Tell your noble Downy not to be frightened by
sweet Clara's money. Her heart is entirely
his. What a lucky fellow ! ' And then she
sighed, for a little plan of hers has been quite
upset by this romantic episode. Oh, you are
OUT OF ALL SEASON. 65
fortnuate indeed, my dear ; and perhaps a little
credit may be fairly due to me. Now put on
the coat with the sable trimmino^s. You look
so foreign, and distinguished in it. And it
shows your broad chest in such a striking way.
That dear Countess said that it made her quite
jealous about her dowdy countrymen. And
she thought it had something to do with your
conquest."
" I don't mean to go at all." The dutiful
son, as he pronounced these words, threw his
bulky shoulders back, and planted one big elbow
on the arm of his easy-chair, and gazed calmly
through his yellow lashes, smiling slightly as
he watched the colour rising on his mother's
dark face. He knew that two stern wills were
coming into clash ; and the victory would be
for the one that did not waste itself in fury.
" Do you mean to tell me," began the lady,
trembling at heart, and- her voice becoming
tremulous, " that you intend to throw away all
I have done ? That you will not marry Lady
Clara Voucher ? "
"That is exactly what I do mean. I will
never marry Lady Clara Voucher."
" And why ? Perhaps you will condescend
to give some reason."
VOL. n. F
66 KIT AND KITTY.
" I mean to marry some one else. I mean to
marry Kitty Fairthorn."
His mother arose, as slie generally did, when
her furious temper hurst all honds. Often
enough, and too often, she had heen in a
tempest of wild passion ; hut never till now in
such a hurricane of rage. At first she was
stilled by her own commotion ; and the lines of
her face twitched as with palsy.
^' Tell me again," she said, crossing her arms,
and speaking with great effort, as she stood
before him, and he sat tranquil ; " I cannot
believe it, till I have heard it twice."
" Certainly, Ma'am, to oblige you. I mean to
marry, not Lady Clara, but your step-danghter,
Kitty."
" You ninny, you rebel, you stubborn doll ! "
she had usually a fine store of these expressions,
but they seemed to desert her in this great
need, and he nodded his head at every one, as
if to say, " Try something better than that "
— " You But it is useless ; you are too
base to care, you sit there, like a lump of yellow
jaundice. Do you think that a beautiful girl
like Kitty — the vile, designing, artful minx ; I
will throttle her, I wish I had her here. Gro
and fetch her, bring her to me ; T don't blame
OUT OF ALL EEASOK 67
you. But she shall pay for this, with her life
she shall. If they hang me to-morrow "
" Come, mother, come. You have let off a
good hit of steam already. You'll be as right
as a trivet, after a few more choice expressions.
Don't spare them, if they do you good, you
know."
" I shall never be right again. My heart is
broken. I feel myself dying, and you have
killed me. You, my own son, have murdered
me. Oh, good God ! What is this pain ? "
She fell upon the floor, and moaned and
gasped, pressing both hands to her leaping
heart, and scared of all wrath by the dread of
death ; now and then she muttered prayers for
mercy, broken with groans of agony. Downy
was terrified, and ran for brandy, as she began
to tear her hair, and clutch at the carpet, with
shrieks growing weaker and more gurgling.
And as he ran back, his sister Euphrasia met
him, and snatched the bottle from his hand.
" You have done it," cried Frizzy ; " I knew
you would. One of these days she'll kill herself.
You 0:0 awav. You're not wanted here. She
wouldn't take it from your hand, to save her
life. I knew it must come. Get away, get
away. Don't let her eyes hit upon you, when
68 KIT AND KITTY,
she rolls them ; or she will go off worse than
ever. She knows everything, when she is in-
sensible."
" Well, you women are a cure ! " said Downy,
recovering his strength of mind. " I shall go
to my own room, and have a cigar. You can
come and tell me, when she is all right."
" I am not sure that she will ever be all
right," said his sister, desiring to frighten him ;
" I have never seen her quite so bad as this."
But he only answered, " What a funk you
are ! She shall not heat me, with all this stuff."
He had very little conscience, and that little
— to use a stock-word now in flishion — particu-
larly reticent. And the still small voice, if there
were any, could not find much to say this
time. In nothing hut the rudeness of his
manner, had he offended against strict right,
and he never even knew when his manner was
rude, hecause it was his nature. He could not
help having a passionate mother, who flew into
a fury when her plans were crossed. So he
smoked his cigar, and considered his next step.
It was plain to him now, without need of
thought — for he was not good enough to be a
fool — that something decisive must be done at
once. He knew what his mother was too well.
OUT OF ALL REASON. 69
to suppose that any arguments of his, or any
regard for his feelings, would ever induce her
to consent to his marriage with Kitty Fair-
thorn. And he knew that Kitty did not like
him (although he had never ill-used her), and
in her old-fashioned way would regard the
relation of their parents towards one another as
a bar to any marriage between them. And
he knew that her money, through her father^s
neglect, had been placed out of her disposal
But in spite of all obstacles, he meant to have
her, and her money afterwards.
Up to the present time, he had feigned to be
the ally of Sir Cumberleigh Hotchpot, and to
forward his suit very warmly. At the same
time he had contrived to earn some gratitude
from Kitty, and to make her look upon him as
her friend in need, by flying to her rescue now
and then, and sometimes even carrying off her
too insistent suitor. This he had been doing
more and more, as his passion increased, and
jealousy combined with pity on her behalf.
Thoroughly despising the older villain, for his
shallowness more than his villany, he began to
hate him also for his insolence to the fair one.
Having now declared his own intentions, he
must put a stop to all that stuft".
70 KIT AND KITTY.
While he was thinking much more of these
things than of his injured motlier, he heard a
gentle but hurried knock at his door, and in
came Kitty. She was trembling and flushed,
with some excitement, and her beautiful hair
was disarranged.
" Oh, Donovan," she cried, for she never
called him " Downy," " I have heard that your
mother is very ill, and they are quite alarmed
about her. Sarah came in such a hurry for
some bottle of my father's ; but I was afraid to
let her have it, for they have no idea how to
nse it. Don't you think you had better run for
Doctor Yallop ? They won't let me in to ask
them, and I am afraid to go for him without
orders."
" No, Kitty, no. It is nothing more than
usual. She would never see the Doctor, if he
came; and it would only set her off again.
Frizzy knows best how to manage her. She
has been in a great wax, even for her ; and
she is just a bit frightened, as she ought to
be. It will do her a world of good, when she
comes round, and teach her to take thinirs
easier. But you look quite startled, my dear
child. Give me a kiss, and I will tell you all
about it."
[ OUT OF ALL REASON. 71
Kitty obeyed, though with some reluctance.
One of her many charms was obedience, and
she had often been told in the early days, that
as they were now one family, to exchange the
friendly salute was proper. But lately she had
been surprised that Downy, after long indiffer-
ence to its value, had returned to this form of
expressing esteem.
Tiie young man had meant to defer for a
while a declaration which must be unwelcome
at first. But he felt sure now that the first thing
his mother would do, as soon as she was well
enough, would be to fall on the poor maiden
about it, and put it in the most outrageous way.
Much better for his cause that he should speak
of it himself, and win perhaps some credit for
his defiance of Kitty's natural foe. He was
always bold in word and deed, and now he
spolve with as little fear as grace.
" You must have seen, my dear, that lately
I have been growing very fond of you. You
have seen that I always take your part when
people go to bully you. And why do you sup-
pose I do it ? Why, because I am so fond of
you."
" Thank you, Donovan. I have often thanked
you in my mind, though not in words. Placed
72 KIT AND KITTY.
as we are, it is quite right that we should be
foud of one another."
" Oh, I don't mean that sort of thing at alL
My mother married your Grovernor ; but that
would only make it natural that we should hate
one another. And there is no love lost between
you and Frizzy, or Jerry either, so far as that
goes. What I mean is that I am fond of you,
as — as a fellow is of his sweetheart. And I
mean to marry you, indeed I do, as soon — why,
as soon as you like almost."
Poor Kitty looked at him, as if he must be
joking ; or if it were not that, he must have
taken too much wine, as he did sometimes,
especially when he had been much with Sir
Cumberleigh.
" How i^rovoking you are, Kitty ! There,
sit down. You will get used to the idea in
about five minutes. Why, there's nothing sur-
prising in it, I should think. Though you
may have thouglit that I was looking higher.
But I have always had my own peculiar views.
1 can do without money, and rank, and all that.
And I have taken a real fancy to you. This
is enough to prove it, don't you think ? Give
us your flipper, as that old rogue says ; for I
mean business, upon my word I do. And 1
OUT OF ALL RE/VSON". To
fancy it won't stick too much in your gizzai'd,
that the old woman rages, like a tiger, against it."
" I can scarcely believe that you mean this.
It is utterly impossible ; I don't know bow
people take sucb things ; but to me it is simply
horrible. Never speak of it again, if you wish
me to speak to you. Promise me never to
speak of it again."
" Yery well. Settle it so, if you like. At
any rate, for the present. You have got hold
of some queer ideas, I suppose. Higb Churcli
crotchets, or some sucb rubbish. You will
come to think better of it, by and by."
" And by the holy poker, she shall be glad
to do so," he muttered to himself when she
was gone ; " We will try a bold stroke, my
pretty dear ; and you shall come on your knees
to me, to marry you."
74 KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER Vr.
A FIXE TIP.
There were many worse men in the world even
then— and the number increases with popula-
tion — than the gallant Sir Cumherleigh Hotch-
pot. The principal source of the evil in him
was that he knew not wrong from right. If
he could have seen the difference, he might
have been tempted by the charms of virtue ;
but as that pure lady had never found her way
into his visiting list, it would be unfair to blame
him for neglecting her. He came of good
family — in one sense — and a very bad family,
in another. For several generations, the Hotch-
pots had verified their names, by making
mixture of all moral doctiine. And the air
of a county, where the world is flat and oozy,
may have helped to bring high and low to one
dead level.
That speculation is beyond the mark ; though
A FINE TIP. 75
as everything is material now, it may justly
be accepted in plea for him. What is more to
the purpose, and less of problem, is the plain
truth that evil blood was in his veins, and there
had never been anything to purify it. In his
early days, the influence of a strong, clear-
headed, and resolute wife, lifting him into self-
respect, and sweetening his paltry bitterness,
might have saved him from his vile contempt,
and made a decent man of him. And such a
chance had once been his ; but he cast it by
through his own foul conduct, and it never
came again. The lady married a better man,
who was able to lead her, as well as be led ;
and the man she had escaped made a bitter
grievance of his own miscarriage.
Now, he was one of that wretched lot — the
elderly rakes, without faith in women, respect
for themselves, or trust in God. Even the
coarser advantages of life, the vigorous health,
the good-will of the world, the desire to rise,
the power of wealth — all these had failed him ;
and he was left with nothing but a feverish
thirst for excitement, and a dreary desire to
say spiteful things, which his meagre wit seldom
gratified.
For this he was hated by Downy Bulwrag,
76 KIT AND KITTY.
who also despised liim for aping the vices which
are so much easier to youth. However it was
Downy's object now to ingratiate himself with
this " old party ; " and Downy had long ac-
quired the art of quenching his sentiments in
his object. So he took a cab, that very night,
when his mother's hysterics were drowned in
Cognac, and presented himself at Sir Cumber-
leigh's house, in a small square of South Ken-
sino-ton. He had not been encourasred to call
here often ; for the Baronet (who generally mis-
placed his shame) was shy of the fact that he
had let the better part of his house to a fashion-
able artist, while he occupied the smaller rooms
himself. The visitor found him just returned
from his Club, and by no means in an amiable
frame of mind, for the cards had been adverse,
and he could ill afford to lose. And he did not
scruple to show his annoyance, at this late and
unexpected call.
But Downy drew an easy-chair near the fire,
gave a kick to the Hotchpot terrier (who with
fcound instinct had made a dash at him), and
spread his fat legs along the fender, without
saying a word, till his host had done the
grumbles. And he had his revenge in his own
crafty way, for he gazed round the room, noting
A FINE TIP. 77
everything, and lifting his yellow eyebrows
now and then, or pursing up his big lips, and
stroking his moustache, as if he were conning
how much — or rather how little, the pictures,
and furniture, would fetch.
" Been any auctioneers in your family ? "
Sir Cumberleigh's temper was never very good,
and this appraisement of his chattels made it
very bad indeed. His intention had been to
have a quiet smoke, and his nip or two of
cordial by the fire, while he went through his
tablets by the latest lights. He had thrown off
his wig, to cool his brain, and had no time to
clap it on again. Frank and cheerful baldness
is no disgrace to any man, and sometimes adds
a crown of goodness to a pleasant face; but
this gentleman had not that reward of gentle
life ; and his bulbous pate, when naked, was
what ladies call " horrid." His restless and
suspicious eyes, and sneering mouth with lines
that looked as if nature had constructed channels
for the drainage of foul words, and the sour
crop of blotches on his welted cheeks, were
more than enough to countervail expansive brow,
and noble dome of curls, if there had been any.
There were none ; and even Downy Bulwrag
thought — " What a bridegroom for a lovely girl ! "
78 KIT AND KITTY.
" You are inclined to cut up rough, old boy ; "
said Bulwrag, after listening long to much that
never should be listened to. " Something dis-
agreed with you ? It must be so, as we get
on in life. Well, tell me, when you are certain
that you have done exploding. No hurry.
Pleasure first ; business afterwards."
Sir Cumberleigh carried on a little more with
his condemnation of all mankind, just to show
that he was not at all impressed with this
aspect of the younger man. Then his temper
prevailed, as the other kept quiet ; and he said
— " Out with your business, if there is any ! "
" I don't suppose it matters much to you.
You are rolling in money, after going down to
your audit, and all that sort of thing. You
might like to invest a cool five hundred in a
loan to me, at five per cent. Do it, and earn
my everlasting gratitude."
" You have something good to tell me, or to
put me up to. Upon my soul, Bulwrag, T shall be
irlad to know it. I have three bills fallino^ due
to-morrow. I am on my last legs, and that
makes me so grumpish."
" You have been uncommonly grumpish,
Pots; and I am not at all sure that I shall tell
yoa anything. I like to do a kindness to a
A FINE TIP. 79
friend ; but you hardly seem, to be quite tliat,
just now."
" My dear fellow, you never go by words.
You have seen too much of the world for that.
The real friend is the man who shows you his
rough side. I do that to you, Downy, because
I like you."
" Then you can't have much left for your
enemies, my friend. But my rule is to take
things as I find them, and tlie same is the golden
rule, according to the law and prophets. I
will render good for evil. Pots ; I will tell you
of a nice little windfall for you, if you have the
pluck to keep up with luck."
" Downy, I am up for anything. All has
been against me for the last ten days, and I
should like to have my revenge of it. It would
take a big fence to pound me."
" There's a big pot of money the other side,"
said Downy, counting slowly on his fingers ;
" eighteen and sixteen make thirty-four, and
twelve makes forty-six, and Chilian eight
thousand four hundred, with the market down,
should be worth another twelve, when they go
up. But put it at present quotations, and you
have between fifty-four and fifty-five thousand
pounds, payable on the nail, and no trustees.
80 KIT AND KITTY.
It would come in pretty well to start with,
Pots, after paying the fellows that know no
better. And you might lend me the odd four
thousand upon good security. I would give
you eight per cent., old fellow, and pay you
like a church."
" What is it, Downy ? Or are you trying
hocus ? Nothing of that sort ever comes my
way now. I have been on the wrong horse
ever since last Groodwood. And now again at
Lincoln. Those cursed tips have tipped me
over."
" It has nothing to do with turf, or tips.
What do you think of our little Kitty coming
into sixty thousand pounds, for it's worth every
penny of that, they say, and nobody to look
after it, but the lucky cove that marries her ?"
" Sweet Kitty ! My sweet Kitty Fairthorn !
I adore her for her own sake, without a crooked
sixpence. But it sounds too good to be true,
my boy. Take a suck, and tell us all about it."
" The beauty of it is that she doesn't know
a word of it ; " Bulwrag began to unfold his
roll of fiction very recklessly, which gave it the
crackle and flash of truth. " And if we can
keep her in the dark, for another ten days or
fortnight, wh}^, a bit of pluck and gumption.
A FINE TIP. 81
and there the job is done ! You know that my
excellent mother considers it one of her strictest
duties to open all the letters that come to the
house for the younger and feminine branches.
She keeps the key of the letter-box, and no one
else is allowed to go near it. When "I first
came back, she began to open mine ; but I
sto^Dped that, quick sticks, I can tell you."
" She is a strong party, and no mistake. I
hope she won't want to come and cock over my
crib, when I am spliced to the heavenly Kitty.
I should get the wrong side of the sixty thou-
sand pounds."
" Well, this morning there came a little billet
for our Kitty, sealed, and got up, and looking
no end confidential. The Ma wasn't going to
stand that, of course ; it set up her hackles that
any one should try it. She took it to her own
room, and found it so important that it was not
right to let the owner know a word about it, at
least until the subject had been well considered.
But she called me into council, and my advice
was to keep it dark, and make the most of it.
And here is all there is of it.
" It seems that the old scientific bloke had a
sister in -the wilds of Northumberland, to whom
he gave fearful offence, years ago, by blowing
VOL. II. O
82 KIT AND KITTY. •
her cat np, or something of that sort, and she
vowed he should never have sixpence of hers.
But being better off for cash than kindred,
which is not the usual state of things, she has
left all her belongings to his daughter, straight
away, in the lump, with nothing to pay but
duty. Her father will ■ be her trustee by law,
I suppose, until she is of age or marries. But
if she marries, without having it settled, which
her father of course would insist upon, why,
there you are — the happy man is master of the
money, though she may go in for a post-nuptial,
or whatever they call it, kind of settlement."
" Downy, my boy, it sounds too good to be
true," said Sir Cumberleigh, looking at him
doubtfully, but the young man's great bulky
face and round forehead were as tranquil as an
orange ; " who are the lawyers ? It came, of
course, from the old lady's men of law. Was it
a London or a country firm ? I don't want to be
too inquisitive, you know. But in a matter of
this sort "
*' The less you know the better, so long as
you are convinced. You were eager to marry
the girl without a penny ; and what motive can
I have for deceiving you ? In fact, I think I
have been a fool to tell you. We could let her
A FINE TIP. 83
get the money, and what chance would you
have then ? Plenty of young swells, with rhino
of their own, would be after such a pretty girl
with sixty thousand pounds. And I will tell
you two things, since you seem to doubt me.
In the first place, I shall insist upon ten thou,
advanced upon my note of hand at five per
cent. And again for your comfort, my mother
since she heard of it won't hear another word
of you, beloved Pots, unless I can bring her
round to it. She would naturally prefer a
young soft fellow, with a fine place of his own,
where she can go and govern, when she wants
a little change, as she governs everywhere. So
that will be all you get, old chap, by doubting
yours truly. Good night, my boy. I am sorry
that I ever told you."
"Don't be so hot, my friend. I never
doubted you. All that I doubted was my own
good luck. And upon my soul. Downy, if you
had had such luck as I have, you would never
place any more faith in it. Here, my dear
fellow, have a Don Pintolado ; there's not
such another weed to be got in London. And
here's a rare drop of old brandy, such as perhaps
you never tasted. It's as old as the hills, and
as soft as oil. You must never put a drop of
84 KIT AND KITTY.
water with it. It stands me in two hundred
and forty shillings a dozen ; and I have never
let any one see it but myself. What do you
think of that now ? Roll it on your tongue.
The best liqueur you ever nosed is not a patch
upon it. You are a good judge, give me your
opinion."
" I never tasted anything like it, Pots.
Where the devil do you get it from ? "
" Ah, I'll put you up to that, some day. Bat
now let us have a little quiet chat. You need
not be afraid of it. Have another glass. You
see I always take it in a very thin Dock-glass,
made on purpose for it. If it had not been for
that, I should have gone to the dogs long ago
with all my troubles. However, let us hope
for an end of them soon. Fifty thou, would
set me straight, and I could get back the old
place, and give up fast life, and turn quiet
Country Squire. It is time for me to get out
of all this racket, and stick to one or two soh'd
friends like you. Now tell me, old chap,
exactly what I am to do. I'll give you any
undertaking you think fit. Only, of course, we
must keep it dark."
" Ah, and not be in any over-hurry ; "
Donovan Bulwrag breathed rings of blue
A FINE TIP. 85
serenity from the gray-edged auricula of his
fine cigar, and then said slowly, " I remember
some little box you used to have, about two
miles beyond Hounslow."
" Yes, and I have got it still, because nobody
would have it. They wanted to turn it into a
poultry-breeding place, when that craze was on,
hut they could not pay deposit. At any rate,
they didn't ; and I have it still on hand."
" All right. Have it aired. It will be very
pretty, now that the broom, and all that, is
coming on again. In another week or so, the
nightingales will be about. Could you have a
snugger place on earth to pass your honey-
moon in ? "
" Twig," said Sir Cunberleigh, " twig's the
word, with a little quiet prodding, and a special
license. But won't she cut up rough, my boy ?
We must not have abduction. It has been done
in my family ; but the times were better then."
" Kitty is not the one to cut up rough. My
mother has drilled her a lot too well for that.
And if I come with her, and you are not seen
till the lai^t, there can be no talk about abduc-
tion. All little particulars must be left to me.
You can let me your crib, if it eases you down,
and produce the agreement, if there is any row.
86 KIT AND KITTY.
But there won't be any row. Yon know the
rule with women — smoothe over everything,
when the job is done."
" I should like to think over it a little, Downy.
I am not like a boy, who has the world on hi^
side, when he does a rash thing' in his passion.
The world has been very hard on me, God
knows ; and I am rather old to give it another
slap in the face. Why shouldn't I marry the
charming Kitty, with her mother's consent, and
all done in proper trim ? Then we could go
down to my old house, and have bonfires, and
bells, and roast an ox, and all that. And she
could have a settlement, why not ? My lawyers
could do it, so as to leave me the tin ? "
" Try it on that way, if you like. How can
it matter to me, beloved Pots ? There are two
little stodges for you to get over. Would Kitty
ever look at you, if she knew she had this
money ? And my mother will not hear of you,
since she saw that letter."
"That devil of a woman ! " cried the other
rather rudely, forgetting that her son received
this statement of the fact. " She has always
had her own way, and she always will. Thank
God that she never married me. Perhaps she
would have done it, if she had seen me soon
A FINE TIP. 87
enough. If she has turned against me, it is all
up, without some such lay as yours, my boy.
Not a dog can tuck his ear up, without her
knowing why. You could never get your
sister down there, without her knowing it."
" She is not my sister," said Downy very
hotly ; " or do you think I would let her marry
such a man- as you ? But the devil of a woman,
as you politely call her, goes down to my Grand-
father in Wales next week, and takes my two
sisters with her."
" Oh, then the coast will be clear, my dear
boy ! That makes all the difference. You
might have told m.e that, half an hour ago. I
see my way out of it now clear enough. The
main point will be to keep the Country lawyers
quiet. Unless they get an answer to their
letter pretty sharp, they'll be sending up a
junior partner, or their London agent, for
fear of some other lawyer's finger in the pie.
That would upset your pot. How are you to
help it?"
" Nothing easier. For a few days at any
rate. And that is why the job must be tackled
pretty smart. We shall send an acknowledg-
ment in Kitty's name to-morrow, saying that
she wishes to consult her father's lawyers — ■
88 KIT AND KITTY.
name of the firm of course omitted — from wliom
Messrs. So-and-so will hear very shortly ; and
that will keep them quiet for a bit. Those
fellows make a point of never hurrying one
another."
" Capital ! I know what they are too well.
By the by, did you tell me the name of the gang
in Northumberland ? I might make a note of
it. Though I must not let them guess that I
have heard of them, of course."
" You would cut your own throat, if you did,
Pots, I can tell you, if you like, and get the
letter perhaps to show you. But you had
better be able to swear, if there should be any
rumpus, that you had never so much as heard
of them. And then, if you were pressed, you
might admit that you had heard some vague
rumour, but paid no attention to it, as it came
from a source you had very little faith in."
" Certainly. I could swear that without
much harm. Don't show me the letter ; I don't
want to see it. Have another drop of this
wonderful stuff. It wouldn't hurt a child. It
is as soft as milk."
"No, not a drop. I am too late as it is. You
had better keep away from our place for the pre-
sent. It would not be so well for you to receive
A FINE TIP. 89
the sack, you see, before the great stroke comes
off, next week. And the mother might be apt
to administer it, in her hasty way, you know.
Send a line to say you have gat a cold, or some-
thing. And then run dawn to the cottage, and
begin at once to get it into spick and span. I
shall come to you every night, and report pro-
gress. Sixty thousand is a good stake to run
for."
" But when is it to be. Downy, when is it to
be ? My nerves are not what they used to be.
And I shall not get a wink, till the race is
pulled off."
" Oh yes, you will, if you go in for hard
work. How can I tell the day, till I have seen
the mother off? The sooner the better, when
she has made tracks. There's an old buffer
coming to see to the house, and keep our Kitty
in order. But I can do what I like with her.
She's mashed taters after the real thing. Be of
good cheer. Pots ; I should say next Wednesday,
or Thursday, would see you a reformed and
happy character. Ta, ta, and remember me in
your prayers."
" I say, Downy, just one little thing," said
Sir Cumberleigh, recalling him with some hesi-
tation. "You must not be offended, old fellow ;
90 KIT AND KITTY.
bat I should be so much obliged, if you would
drop your habit of calling me ' Pots ' so fre-
quently. It sounds so personal ; although of
course it has no application to me as yet. Why,
you might even do it before your sister, and
then it would be so — so unromantic. You see
what I mean ; no offence, you know."
" I tell you, I won't have her called my sister.
She is no sister of mine, nor in any way con-
nected. If you call her my sister any more, I
shall look upon it as an insult."
"A very great compliment, I should say,"
Sir Oumberleigh pondered, when his visitor
was gone ; " what the deuce makes him get in
such a wax about it ? A fellow with such a
batter-pudding face might be proud to call such
a girl his sister. Oh, I see why it is, what a
thick I must be ! If she were his sister, he
would be ashamed of being a party to this little
plant. I don't like the look of it, and that's all
about it. But such a poor devil must not stick
at trifles. Sixty thousand pounds would set me
on my legs again. And it is not to be had by
lying down and rolling. And the sweetest girl
in London too, without any cheek or high
falutin. I can soon break her in to any pace I
choose. I am not a bad fellow, only so unlucky.
A FINE TIP. 91
If this comes off, I'll go to church every Sunday.
But I'll take uncommon good care all the same
that Master Johnny Dory does not collar too
much of the rhino. I hate that young fellow,
he is just like a yellow slug crawling in a mop."
92 KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER VII.
BASKETS.
There are ever so many kinds of baskets used
in Covent Gi-arden Market, some of good measure,
and some of guess, and some of luck altogether,
like a Railway's charges. They come from every
quarter of the globe ; and the pensive public
may be well pleased if it gets a quarter of its
bargain. A bushel may hold a peck more or
less, according to the last jump made upon it.
The basket-makers are by no means rogues,
because the contents can make no difference to
them. They turn out strong ware, at a very
high price, so many inches in width, and so
many in depth, according to tradition. Then
they pat it, and pitch it down, and paint the
name upon it ; and there their business ends,
except to get their money. And of this they
never fail ; for the Grower, as a rule, grows
honesty as his chief, and often only crop. But
after that basket's virgin fill, how many
BASKETS. 93
meretricious uses does it undergo ! The poor
Grrower, who has paid half a crown for it,
never uses it again perhaps, until it is worn
out, and comes back to him, with a shilling
demanded for his name ; when it has spent
all its prime in half the shops and trucks of
London. Here it has passed through a varied
course of fundamental changes, alternately hold-
ing three pecks and five, according to its use
for sale or purchase. At first it was gifted
with a slightly incurved bottom, not such a
. deep " kick " as a Champagne-bottle has — which
Napoleon III. vainly strove to abolish — but a
moderate and decent inward tendency. Here
the rogue spies his vantage ground. Before
filling it for sale, he lays it flat upon its rim,
mounts upon the concave external, and with a
few heavy jumps of both heels produces a bold
and lofty internal dome. Then he stuffs up
the cavity round the side with a tidy lot of hay,
or leaves, or paper, and lo you have three pecks
as brave as any four ! But is lie going to buy
by that measure? He lays it firmly upon its
base, gets inside, and jumps with equal vigour.
The accommodating bottom becomes concave,
and he brings home five pecks running over
into his bosom.
94 KIT AND KITTY.
As honest producers, we know nothing of all
this — except by the mark of hobnails on our
wicker, when it comes home with no integrity
left — our business is to fill our baskets, when-
ever the Lord permits us, keeping the top fruit
certainly not worse than the bottom, for that
would be Quixotic, but not a bit better than
human nature, and the artistic sense, demand of
us. And there have been few greater calumnies
of recent years — though the world grows more
and more calumnious — than to call my Uncle
Orchardson " Corny the topper," as if he
covered rubbish with a crown of red or gold !
A topper he was ; but it was only thus — he
topped all his customers in honesty.
This explanation was necessary, and should
have been offered long ago. But I thought it
as well to let people see first from his character,
as given by himself and me, that he required
no such vindication. If ever there was a man
who gave good change for sixpence, ay, and
took good care to get it too, you will own it
was my Uncle Corny.
However, he used for inferior fruit, such as
windfalls, or maggoty, or undersized stuff, a
cheaper and commoner form of basket, such as
the dealers call " Sallies." These are of no
BASKETS. 95
especial measure, but hold on the average about
half a bushel, some of them much more, and
some a little less, and there is no name marked
upon them. They come, for the most part,
with foreign fruit in them, and are often thrown
by, when emptied ; and there are men about
the market who collect these, perhaps for
nothing, or at any rate for very little, and sell
them to the fruit-growers, or the dealers, at
prices which vary according to their quality and
the demand for them, etc. They can often be
had at a shilling a dozen, at which price they
are cheap for any use ; and at times they are
not to be got under sixpence apiece, but per-
haps the average is twopence. They are deeper
than baskets of measure, and not so wide, also
made of much lighter wicker, and often full of
stubs inside, which would never do for best or
second fruit ; in fact, they are like a waste-paper
basket, such as one often sees under a table.
When I had been gone, at least a fortnight I
should say — though I could not be certain about
dates just then — to my Aunt Parslow's at
Leatherhead, ray Uncle having done all his
grafting by himselF, for there always was some
to do every year, took a general look at his
trees, and found that the buds looked as
96 KIT AND KITTY.
promising as ever he had seen them. He was
rather surprised at this, not at all on account of
the long hard winter, but because of the very
cold wet summer and autumn which had pre-
ceded it. The trees would be full of unripe
wood, and sappy shoots shrivelled by the frost,
and scurfy bark, and perished boughs, and
general discomfort, and sulkiness. At least
everybody said that was how they ought to be,
and my Uncle had never contradicted them,
preferring a little pessimism, because it is
always the safer side. And probably upon cold
wet soils, all the evils predicted had succeeded,
which would make it all the better for the
places where they failed. So that my Uncle,
while sympathizing warmly with all his brother
growers in their bad look-out, shook his head
about his own, and smoked his pipe, and would
not speak of his chickens, much less count them.
But, when the sun began to get the upper
hand of the days again, and the Spring was
looking through the hedge and into the hearts
of the trees almost, and the earth seemed ready
to lift its breast, as a maiden does for her
flowers to be fixed, and every shrub that
showed a leaf had got a bird to sing to it — for
a time, the best man found it hard to make
BASKETS. 97
the worst of everything ; and even the often
frozen Grower hoped not to be frozen again
this year. For the later an English fruit-tree
is in showing its white or pink challenge to
the sky, the less is the chance of unheavenly
heaven descending with a whiter blow, and
smiting all to utter blackness. The ground had
been frozen to a depth of twenty inches by the
rigour of enduring frost; and after that the
push of Spring takes a long time to get down
the line.
" Tompkins," said my Uncle, who was poking
about with a spade, to kill snails in some Iris
roots, for no sort ot" winter makes much difference
to a snail ; drought in their breeding-time is all
they care for much — " Tompkins, it is high
time to be looking up our baskets. In another
month, those fellows will be sticking it on
agfain."
" That 'em will," the long man replied. He
was short of tongue, as a very tall man, by
some ordinance of Nature, almost always is —
perhaps because his fellow-creatures' hats have
endangered it while it was tender.
" You had better go over and see old Wisk,
at tliree-quarter day to-morrow. You can have
the tax-cart, and just see what he has. He is
VOL. II. H
98 KIT AND KITTY.
bound to have a good stock now, after all the
long frost and snow, on hand. And he is
pretty sure to be hard up. In June he begins
to grin at us. Get the figure for hushels, and
halfs, by the gross, but don't order any, until I
know. But if he bas picked up any Sallies, you
might hring a gross at a shilling a dozen. I will
give you twelve shillings ; and I'll he bound the
old rogue will be glad of a hit of ready money."
" A.11 right. Governor." Selsey Bill offered
up one gaunt knuckle to his hat, which had no
brim to accept it ; for he had improved in sense
of manners, since his wages were advanced.
He had been put on, when the days pulled out,
to twenty shillings a week, with a title, not
conferred, but generally felt, of foreman of the
outdoor work. He had a shilling apiece for his
children now every week, and another for his
wife, and two to think about all Sunday. And
my firm belief is that if lie could have earned
another by wronging us, he would have made
the tempter swallow it.
" But mind one thing," said my uncle
strongly, for he found it ruinous to relax ;
"your wife's brotber I believe it is, that keeps
the Crooked Billet beyond the lieatb, not a
hundred yards from old Wisk's place. You
BASKETS. 99
need not pull Spanker up, to give Mrs. Tomp-
kins's love, you know."
" Right you are, Governor. "What wicked
things you do put into a fellow's head ! " My
Uncle grinned, and so did Bill, but with his
long back turned, and his hand upon his spade.
On the followino* afternoon, Bill acted with
the truest sense of honour. As he approached
the Crooked Billet, the wind (for which he was
not to blame) brought him the burden of a
drawling song, drawled as only a Middlesex
man — ^who can beat all the North and even
West at that — can troll his slow emotions
forth. " Oh, I would be a jolly gardener, I
would be a jolly gardener ; with my pot and
my pipe, for ray swig, and my swipe ; and the
devil take the rest, say I ! " Bill knew every
nose that was singing this, and every fist that
was drumming on the table. But such were
his principles, that instead of pulling up, he let
the reins hang loose, and even said " Kuck " to
old Spanker.
Although we had owned him so long, this
horse had never forgotten his ancient days,
when he may have belonged to a bi*ewer per-
haps. For he never could pass any hostelry of
a cool and respectable aspect, with a tree and a
100 KIT AND KITTY.
trough in front of it, but that he would offer
a genial glance from the corner of one blinker,
and make a short step, and show a readiness to
parley. He did more than this now, for he
pulled up short, and tossed up his nose, and
accosted with a whinny a horse of more leisure,
who was standing by the door.
" Wants to wash his mouth out. So do I.
But I'll be hanged if I'll go inside all the same."
Reasoning thus, Selsey Bill got down, for he
saw a wisp of hay by the trough just fitted to
dip in the water and cool the muzzle. But
before he could hoist his long legs into the cart,
as he positively meant to do, a buxom short
woman had his arm enclasped with two red
hands, and was looking up at him, with words
of reproach, but a smile of good will.
" It ain't no nonsense, I tell you, Bill," she
exclaimed in reply to his soft remonstrance ;
" come in you shall, and have a word or two
inside. I've got something particular on my
mind. And you'll never forgive yourself, if
you goes on like this."
What could Tompkins do? His wife's brother's
wife was Godmother to nearly half his children,
and she had a bit of money of her own, and no
children of her own to leave it to. " Well, only
BASKETS. 101
lialf a minute then," he said, to ease liis con-
science ; " and not a drop of heer, you know.
Leastways, not till I've been to old Wisk,
over yonner."
" Why, the old chap's inside ! Seems a
Providence to me, because now you be bound
to come in and see him. But I want to talk
separate to you. Bill. You have got such a
head you know, such a way up ! "
The landlady took Bill to her own room
round the corner of the house, so that no one
saw him, while Spanker was linked to the post
and had some hay. And she told him such a
story that his little black eyes, whicli tried to
look at one another over his great nose, twinkled,
and flashed, and were full of puzzled wraths
Then she brought him a pint of mild ale^ for
she knew that his mind worked slowly, and
required to be refreshed.
" Never heered tell of such a job in my born
days. Couldn't 'a believed it, if it wasn't you,
Eliza. You was always truth itself. But how
can you be sartin the young girl as told you is
quite right in her mind ? "
" Well, I can't be certain. Bill, for she is a
stranger about here. But she. looks right
enough, and she was genuine flustrated. And
102 KIT AND KITTY.
more than that, there's several things that comes
to back her up like. What shall we do, Bill ?
That's the point."
" Sure enough, so it is. What does Teddy
say to it ? "
" Well, you know what he is. If he see a
murder doing, I believe he'd shut his eyes and
ears, and whip round the corner. And besides'
that, he is never no good after two o'clock ;
and I only heard of this about an hour ago.
So, to tell you the plain truth, I haven't said a
word about it. And it's no good to tell him
nothing till to-morrow morning. Not that he
takes so very much, you know. But his con-
stitution is that queer. If you had not come
by, I was just making of my mind up to put
on my shawl, and step off" for the police. Though
it's three miles to go, and then most likely never
find them."
" And if you did, I don't believe they'd take
a bit of notice. Leastways, not if they was
disposition'd same as ours. Got never a Justice
of tlie peace round here, some countries they
calls them a Magistrate ? "
" Nobody nearer than Colonel Bowles, and
Ted was saying yesterday tliat he was gone
from home. No, Bill, for all I can see, there's
BASKETS. 103
not a soul to move a finger, unless 'tis you
and me."
" But wliat can us do ? I can't see no call
for us to meddle, if policeman won't. Enough
to do with my own kids, sister 'Liza, and nobody
but me to help 'em. AYell, I must be jogging."
" No, you won't be jogging, and you've got
to see Wisk. Where's your common sense,
Bill ? Can't you see that he'll stick a shilling
on to everything, if they send down here to
fetch him for you. No man can abide to be
disturbed with liis glass, and he expects a lot of
mone}^, if he gives it up. That's the way all
those ranters thrive ; their beer would cost
three halfpence, and they gets sixpence for not
having it, and has it on the sly in their own
beds. Go and see old Wisk, but not a word of
what I told 3'ou. Only you mu:5t come back to
me, when you have done what you want with
him. No business of mine any more than
yoarn ; and perhaps the best way to let things
go by law, and not be called up and lose your
time, and have to pay for it, and think yourself
lucky if they don't fine yon too. That is all
one gets for not winking at a thief. Bill."
The truth of this was too manifest to require
any acknowledgment ; and Tompkins went to
104 KIT AND KITTY.
see Mr. "Wisk in the tap-room, and after much
discussion drove him to his premises, there to
see and deal about the wicker stuff. But he
only got half a gross of Sallies, which proved a
very lucky thing afterwards, for Wisk had no
more, or at any rate said so, not liking the price
perhaps, for they were good substantial stuff,
which also proved a happy thing, before very
long. Then Selsey Bill touched Spanker up,
for it was getting on for dark ; but he did not
like to pass the Crooked Billet without calliiig,
because he was proud of being a man of his
word.
( 105 )
CHAPTER YIII.
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH.
There is, or at least there used to be, along
the back of Hounslow Heath, a lane which
leaves the great Western road on the right-hand
side, and goes off alone. The soil is very poor
and thin, and nothing seems to flourish much,
except tlie hardier forms of fir, and the vagrant
manner of mankind. The winter winds and the
summer drought sweep over or cranny into it ;
and a very observant man is needed to find
much to talk about.
But wherever a man or woman is, and what-
ever may be the season, one earnest cry arises
in tlie bosom, and it is for beer. Those nobler
beings who oust their British nature with
foreign luxury, and learn to make belief of joy
in the sour grape, or the stringent sti.U, are apt
to forget, as perverts do, the solidity of the
ancient creed. If a good or evil genius had
106 KIT AND KITTY.
stood by Sir Cuinberleigli Hotchpot,, or even
Downy Bulwrag, and whispered — " Have a
firkin tliere of treble X, or Indian Pale," there
might be now no chance for Bill to tell tlie
things he had to tell.
When Tompkins, with his cart half full of
Sallies piled like flower-pots, pulled up again
at the wayside inn, he found it dark and lonely.
The four jolly gardeners were gone home, or at
any rate gone somewhere ; Teddy the landlord
was fast asleep by the kitchen fire, and would
so remain, till roused by the music of the frying-
pan ; they kept no barmaid, and the man who
generally lounged about the stable was gone to
have his lounge out somewhere else.
" Good night, 'Liza," Bill shouted up the
staircase, on the chance of the landlady hearing
his voice ; but instead of any answer her step
was heard, and she turned the corner on him
with her shawl and bonnet on.
" I couldn't leave it so," she said ; " I don't
know what come over me. But after you was
gone, my heart fell all a pitter-pattering. And
such bad ideas come into my head — I never
did ! I could no more sleep this blessed night,
without knowing more about that there business,
than I could stand on my head and strike the
TUE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 107
hours, like a clock. I may be a fool for it, and
have to go before the Justices ; but ease my
mind somehow I must."
" 'Liza Rowles," replied Selsey Bill, standing
nearly two feet above her, but looking down
with true deference, " if you feels that sort
of thing, who am I to go again' it ? You
are bound to have summat in your own mind,
as was never put there for nothing, Ma'am ;
and if it comes to that, why, so has I."
" Do you mean to say, Bill," asked Mrs.
Rowles with awe, not of his height, for she was
used to that, but of his thouglits coining just to
her level, " that you has had queer ideas too,
about what the little girl was a-telHng me ? "
" You have put it, 'Liza, in the very words as
I should have put it in, if the Lord give me the
power. But I leaves all that to my wife now.
She can fit it up to meanin', and no mistake."
" Very well, Bill^ there's no more to be said.
Off I goes with you, and you drives round by
Struck-tree Cottage, as we calls it ; not that we
means to make tantrups, you know; but just to
see how it looks, and ease our minds."
Mrs. Rowles cast a glance at the high step
of the cart, for she was not so tall ;is she was
tender ; and Selsey Bill cast a glance at lier,
108 KIT AND KITTY.
balancing in the fine poise of his mind, whether
or no he should venture to offer, as it were, to
lift her. But he saw that it would not be just
to his wife, who might come some day to hear
of it — for you never can tell what those women
will let out,— so he wliipped forth his knife, and
cut the cord which bound a dozen Sallies into
one spire, and fetching out a basket, set it down
upon the rim ; so that Mrs. Howies (though of
good weight and measure) taking that for her
first rung went up without a groan.
" You take next turn towards Harlington,
and go along quiet as you can, Bill ; " these
were her orders, when she had settled down
wnth a clean sack beneath her on the driving-
board. " And now shall I tell you what I
believe ? It may be wrong, of course ; we all
are liable to horrors. You feels that yourself.
Bill, though a man with such a family get'th
more opportoonities, so to say ? "
" And a wife," answered Bill ; " her comes
first to bemn with."
o
" In course, her comes first in the regular
way. A good and faithful wife, and the mother
of seventeen. But without such luck as that, I
knows what men is ; and I say to you. Bill
Tompkins, that they differs very much. I makes
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 109
the very best of them, as is the duty of a
woman, and leads to their repentance, wlien
they has it in them. But most of them has
not, without a word against ray Teddy. And
I say that this Lord Hopscotch here — if such is
his name, being very doubtful — is up to some
badness, having no belief of any one down this
way to right it. Therefore you take tliat
corner. Bill, and go on slowly till I tell you
when to stop. Mind, I don't say I know what
it is ; but I can guess. We have had a many
gay doings down this way, for all it looks so
innocent, and perhaps for that same reason."
"What can 'em want witli more childers, if
that way inclined ? " But the quiverful Bill
dropped his essay on that subject ; for there
is much more bashfulness among poor people,
than among their betters, on such topics of
discourse.
Presently they came to a dark quiet elbow of
the road, or rather of the track across the turf ;
for they had passed all stones and hedges now,
and the wheels went softly upon grass and peat.
A clump of Scotch firs, bowed by the west
winds, overhung the way, and made it sombre
as the grave. About a hundred yards before
them was a low square building, on the verge
110 KIT AND KITTY.
of tlie heath, and surrounded with bushes and
something tliat looked like a wooden palisade.
" That's where it is. That is Struck-tree
Cottage ; the lightning come down and scorched
the old oak." Mrs. Rowles spoke in a whisper,
as if herself afraid of it. " You see there's a
h'ght in the parlour, Bill. That's where the
villains is, I do believe, and the poor lady
locked away upstairs, maybe. Now you go
forrard, and just peep in. They'll never be
capable of suspecting nothing ; and everything
will be black to them outside."
It was quite dark now, without moon or
stars. Spanker and the cnrt, which was painted
brown, could scarcely be descried even twenty
yards away, and the Sallies were of un peeled
osier. Bill handed the reins to his sister-in-law,
and got down in his usual lanky style.
Although he was a very hard-working fellow,
nothing could drive him into quick jerks ; for
liis joints were loose, and were often heard to
creak, when the wind was in the east, and the
air too dry.
" But if them cometh at me ? " he asked with
proper prudence, and a sense of his importance
to three crowded rooms at home. " Why, I
ain't got so much as a stick to help me ! "
TIJE GIANT OF THE HEATH. Ill
" No fear, little Billy. Guilty conscience
makes a coward. Yon need not let them see you.
And if they do, why, they'll take you for the
Giant of the Heath — the old highwayman as
was hanged in chains, not a hundred yards
frcm here. My father seed him often ; and
when he fell down, lie took to walking through
the fuzz."
" Oh Lor', no more of that, 'Liza ! All my
teeth he gone a-chatterin'. Give us a sack at
any rate, if I meets he."
Mrs. Howies, who was not very happy her-
self, handed him a spare sack from the cart ;
and Bill Tompkins, with many glances right
and left, and heartily wishing himself at home,
set forth towards the cottage, walking very
slowly, and carefully shunning every stick and
stone that was visihle on the hrown, inhospitable
earth. As he passed beneath the shattered tree,
he looked up with a shudder at the jagged fork,
and naked stubs, and contorted limbs, expecting
the dead highwayman to clank his ghostly
chains. Then he stole on with more courage,
for he was tolerably brave, at least as regarded
fellow-beings in the flesh.
When he came to the fence, a low palisade of
fir, he just lifted his long legs over it, without
112 KIT AND KITTY.
casting about for any gate or door. As he
groped along the fence towards the house, he
discovered a gate wliich appeared to be locked,
and observing that the palisade was much
higher there, he very wisely lifted this gate
froQi its hinges, and left room for himself to
slip tlirough at the back, if pursued, and obliged
to retreat in a hurry. Then he made his way
stealthily through some low slirubs to the
corner of the cottage,, and considered things.
it was quite a small building, with only four
windows in front, and a door with a little porch
between them. Two windows were on the
ground floor, and two above ; the windows of
the downstair rooms had outer shutters, or
rather framed blinds of lattice-work, such as
carpenters call " louvres." These were closed
and fastened ; but from the one on the right of
the porch a strong light came through the
interstices of the blind, and streamed in narrow
slices on the misty gloom outside. The hori-
zontal laths were turned at such an angle, that
a man of common stature could only see the
floor between them ; but Selsey Bill was almost
a giant, and hearing loud voices in that lower
room, he approached the window stealthily, and
standing on tiptoe applied one eye to the top
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 113
of the framework of the blind, where he found
a wide slit between the beading and first lath.
Through this he could see nearly all that was
inside, for the curtains hung back at the end of
the pole. Also he could hear pretty well what
was said, for the window-glass was thin, and
the ceiling low.
There were only two men in the room, both
lounging in shabby armchairs near the fire, and
smoking, yet not looking peaceful. Tompkins
was surprised at this, because he could never
have his own black pipe, with the cheapest and
strongest tobacco to puff, and his own bit of fire
to dry his sodden feet, without feeling as if he
could stand anything from any one, even to the
theft of his very last halfpenny by his youngest
boy Bob, who was bound to know better, with
so many rascals in front of him. And these
rich gentlemen (for so they seemed) were
smoking a fine blue curly cloud, such as a poor
man can only put his nose to, when the putty
is gone from the glass between him and his
true superior.
Bill became deeply curious now. That
gentlemen of such tip-top style, too grand
almost for the world to carry, drinking rare
stuff like the sun through church windows, and
VOL. n. I
114 KIT AND KIT'JT.
smoking (as if it was so mucli dirt) cigars sucli
as Bill knew by memory — for he had picked up
a pretty fair stump sometimes — that they should
be hob-nob in this little room (no better than
his own Uncle Tompkins had), yet not at all
hob by nob soft and pleasant, and looking fit to
fly at one another, for two peas — all this must
mean something as was natural for Police, if
only they could be persuaded to do more than
flap their white gloves in view of tricks that
were Nobby. Mr. Tompkins applied a dry
rasp to his lips with his knuckles, well fitted
for that operation, which had many times saved
the mouth from evil issue. Then he listened
and gazed intently ; as no man can do, who has
had his powers spoiled by the higher education.
" Then it quite comes to this," said the
gentleman whose face was in full view to Bill,
though by no means a fair view ; " that you
mean to throw me over, after all my risk, and
take the fair spoil for yourself. I have known
a good many cool things in my time ; but this
by long chalks is the coolest,"
" Take it at that same temperature," answered
the larger and younger man, who was lolling
back, with the roof of his system exposed to
Bill, who perceived therein a likeness to the
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 215
back of a yellow Skye dog who has not been
combed very lately ; " you have let yourself in
for it, for the sake of filthy lucre ; and, alas ! it
proves that I was entirely misinformed. Make
the best of it, old man. You have rushed into
a scrape. There is too much proof, I fear, that
it is all your own doing. The law will be
down upon you, and where is your defence ?
There is one way, and only one, to hush it up.
The girl must marry one of us, after what has
happened. She has not got a sixpence, and she
is wild with rage. Disappoints me there, after
all my mother's lessons. Don't think you could
tame her. Pots ; but feel sure that I could.
Then here I step in, like the deuce from a
machine, and magnanimously offer to make
amends for my mistake. And instead of being
grateful, you set to and slate me ! Consider
what a lot of that I shall have from the mother."
" You can stand anything," said the other,
with a sigh ; " but I am not as tough as I used
to be ; and a row in the papers brings the duns
in by the dozen. The girl is as sweet a woman
as ever looked through a bridle. And I had
set my heart upon her, when I thought she
would have money. But I could not marry
her like this, and be laughed at ever afterwards,
116 KIT AND KITTY.
for eloping with a pauper. Can't you take her
back to-night, and nobody the wiser ? Then
perhaps I can have her, in the proper course of
things."
" Impossible, you thick old Pots. She has
not tasted bit or sup for four and twenty hours ;
and her face it is a show, as the old women say.
No, it must be reeled straight off this time.
You can hear her moaning now ; that old
woman is a fool, and the little girl a rogue,
who would betray us, if she could. But we are
all right here ; and to-morrow the fair Kitty
will accept me as her deliverer. We shall
make short work of it, and you retire blameless."
The other man began to growl, but Bill
stopped not to hear him. His righteous soul
was wild already, and his mercy flowed un-
strained. Now and then there had come, as
from an upper window, the sound of low
sobbing, and the weariness of woe, when some
human creature finds the whole world set
against it, yet cannot get out of it to seek a
better. Bill stepped quietly round the little
porch, and stood beneath the window whence
the sound appeared to come.
The window was over the kitchen, as it
seemed, and the sill was about twelve feet from
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 117
the ground. But the kitchen blind was down,
and the firelight dull within. Tompkins laid
his sack along the kitchen window-sill, and
stepping on it softly, could just reach the stone
at the bottom of the bedroom window. With a
little groping he contrived to get one foot upon
the branch of a pear-tree, which was trained
against the house, and lifting his tall frame
warily, he got his chin upon the level of the
window-sill above. The whole aperture was
barred with stout wire-netting ; but the lower
sash had just been lifted to throw something-
out, something white like an eggshell, that flew
by as Bill drew back.
" Oh, you won't have it, won't you ? " said a
cross and cracky voice ; and Bill saw by the light
of a guttering tallow-candle, an old woman going
towards a young one who lay on a low iron bed
with brass knobs at the corners. " Well, you
knows your own business best, and pretty airs
you gives yourself. I tell you there ain't nothing
in it, but new-laid egg and good sherry wine,
and you see me mix it up yourself. A pretty
one you'll be to go to church to-morrow, wi'out
a bit of colour in your cheeks, or a bit of victuals
in you. Cry, cry, cry, all the blessed day long,
'stead of being proud to stand up with a rich
118 KIT AND KITTY.
gentleman ! My patience with you are pretty
well worn out, and a pretty dance you led me
all last night ! But I've got something in the
kitchen as will force you for to swallow, some-
thing come a purpose this very day from
Lunnon, and directions with it for the fractious
folks. Now I try you fair once more, Miss, if
Miss it is ; and after that I try you foul, you
see if I desn't."
But the lady, who lay with her face to the
wall, and a mass of curly hair shining down her
black dress, would not even look round, or make
any reply, hut just lifted one elbow, and then
let it fall again.
" Very well ! We'll see. Just you wait ten
minutes, while I has a bit to eat myself; and
then we'll try the little tickler. Nobody to
thank but yourself, you know. If ever there
was a cantankerous, sulky, self-willed j^oung
minx, and ungrateful to boot "
The wicked old woman went muttering from
the room, leaving the window still oj^en, and
the candle flaring and smoking on the chest of
drawers, but locking the narrow door behind
her with a rusty squeak of key.
" Now or never," thought Bill, who would
have liked, deeply respectful as he was to the
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 119
fair sex, to have taken that old hag by the tliroat.
With one hand he got a good grasp of* the sill,
while he passed the other through the wire
grating, and raised the sash a little higher, to
attract attention. But the fair prisoner was too
far gone in distress and despair to heed any
light sound, or even a creak and rattle.
" Miss, Miss, if you please, young Miss ! "
Bill put his mouth, which would open as wide
as almost any cottage window, as far in as ever
it would go (for the wire was much in his way)
and blew his voice in. But whether it was from
the " wealth of her hair " — as all our best writers
express it — or the action of the throat upon the
ears (which may have been sobbed into deafness),
there she lay like a log, and as if no Bill Tomp-
kins had his heart throbbing only for the benefit
of hers.
" Bat they women ! " thought Bill to himself.
" If you want 'em to hear, can't make 'em do it.
If you wants to keep a trifle from 'em, cut both
your feet off", and walk upon your funny-jowls.
Here goes, neck or nort ! "
He had pulled out a big wall-nail with a
heavy shred attached, and choosing a wide space
of the wire-netting, he flung it so cleverly at the
head oppressed with sorrow, that the owner
120 KIT AND KITTY.
jumped up, and looked about, and rubbed the
eyes thereof.
"Hush, Miss, hush, for the Lord's sake hush ! "
whispered Bill, as if the first effect of feminine
revival must be the liberation of the tongue ;
" it's only me, Miss, — Bill Tompkins from Sun-
bury. Please to come nigher, Miss, till I tel]
you."
" I don't understand. I seem lost altogetlier.
They have locked me up here, and they may
kill me, before I will do a single thing they want
of me. What are you come for ? And what
makes you look at me ? There is nobody to
help me — not a person in the world."
" Lor' bless me, if this don't beat cock-
fightin' ! " As she tottered towards the window,
with both hands upon her head, the light of the
candle shone into her dazzled eyes, weak and
weary as they were with floods of tears ; and
she waved her fingers over them with a strange
turn of the palm (which was deeply cupped), a
turn quite indescribable, a bit of native gesture
which was most attractive, and certain to be
known again, though it might have seemed to
pass unnoticed. " Miss, if I ever see two ladies
in my life, you be Miss Kitty, our Kit's sweet-
heart ! "
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 121
" What is the good of a sweetheart to him ?
Don't tell me anything, I can't bear it. I was
going to his funeral — his funeral, yesterday ;
and they put me in a carriage for the purpose ;
and they lost their way, so they said, and they
brought me here. And instead of going to his
funeral, I am to marry some one else. But I
won't do it. I'll never marry any one but Kit ;
and Kit is dead, and gone to heaven."
" The d— d liars ! Did they tell you that ? "
cried Tompkins, as if that would never be my
destination. " Our Kit, Miss, is as alive as you
be ; though he have had a bad time of it, and
be gone to Ludred now. We expects him home
next week, we does. And proud he would be,
Miss, to see you there afore him. There never
were such a chap to carry on about a gal, least-
ways beg pardon, Miss, I meaus a fine young
lady."
He was talking thus, because she could not
speak ; which he had the human kindness to
perceive. " Is it true ? " she was able to ask
at last ; and he answered —
" True as Gospel. S'help me Taters, Miss, it
IS !
Then she knelt for a moment, to thank the
Lord. But Bill said — " No time now. Miss.
122 KIT AND KITTY.
Out of this you comes, this very minute, and
home with me to Sunhury. Can't get out of
window. Took good care of that. Come out
of door, and sh'p downstairs."
" But she has locked me in," cried Kitty,
" and there are two dreadful men downstairs.
I don't care what they do to me now, now I
know what you have told me. Go away, while
you can. They will kill you."
" Just you go to that there door, and drive
back the catch with this here knife. It's nothing
but a gallows staple ; and a rap with the butt
end will send it back, ten to one it will, Miss.
Put your hankercher over the lock, while you
does it, and back it goes, if I know them locks.
Have the can'le handy, to see where to hit.
Then down to front door, and away to our cart.
But don't lose my knife, for the Lord's sake.
A sensible gal has always got two pockets."
Kitty, with her strength revived by spirit,
took the big knife with an iron butt, and easily
drove back the bolt, for the staple was an open
one. Then Bill descended, without any noise,
while she slipped gently down the stairs, and
in the porch he met her. The front door had
been bolted, but she drew back the bolt, and
Bill took her hand, and she stood outside.
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 123
" Halloa ! What's up ? " cried a voice from
inside, for the catch had closed again with a
loud snap.
" Run, Miss, run ; while I stop these chaps,"
shouted Bill, and she ran like a hare from a
dog. For a moment or two Bill was able to
hold the brass knob of the lock against the
two from within ; but presently it slipped from
his hand, and the door flew open, and two men
prepared to rush out. But Tompkins threw
his sack at full length over the head of the
foremost ; and striking wildly down he came
on his knees, and the other fell across him.
Bill made off, like a shot, while they cursed one
another ; and before they were afoot again, he
had slipped through the opening of the unhinged
gate and pulled it after him. Then using his
long legs rather slackly, but to great effect
through the length of their stride, he took the
struck tree for his landmark, and without thought
of the ghost, soon had Kitty at his side, and
they made off, hot foot, for the cart and Mrs.
Rowles.
" Here you be, here you be ! " shouted that
good lady ; " mind the ruts. The villains are
after you."
This was too true. Though they might not
124 KIT AND KITTY.
liave owned that description of themselves, two
hasty men, without even a hat on, were rushing
about, bewildered by the darkness and their
own excitement, and taking the wrong way
more often than the right. They fell among
the furze, and got patterns on their faces, and
showed no gratitude to Nature for one of her
best gifts. But presently they spied the white
nose of SjMiiker, which was hanging down with
wonder if he ever should get home ; and then
they saw two figures in a bustle by the cart,
and one was being helped in by the long
stretch of the other.
" Stop thieves ! " cried Sir Cumberleigh, who
was dreadfully out of breath ; and therefore
perhaps he let the other form go first to stop
them.
Then Bill turned round and faced them, and
he said — " You get away ! You ain't got no
right with this young leddy. And so help
me God, I'll smash you, if you offers for to
touch her."
He advanced with his great fists revolving-
like a windmill, that being our accepted view
of the "art of self-defence."
But Mrs. Rowles cried, "No, Bill!" while
the other stood amazed at the heio-ht of his
THE GIANT OF THE HEATH. 125
antagonist and his uncoutli look ; " don't soil
your hand with him. Clap this upon his poll."
Before Downy could guess what was meant,
he was basketed. A big taper Sally, full of
sharp stubs inside, wns clapped down upon his
yellow head, and fixed there staunchly, by a
heavy rap from Bill's great hand upon its
bottom. Roars of pain and stifled oaths issued
from it faintly, and the wearer fell down upon
the grass and rolled, like a squirrel in his
wheel, or a dog-fish in an eel-cruive.
" Little one for t'other ! " cried the clever
landlady ; and in half a second Hotchpot was
in the same condition.
" Good night, Gen'lemen both," shouted Bill,
as he drove off. " You goes to trap Miss Kitty,
and you gets trapped, by Miss Sally."
Mrs. Bowles laughed so loudly at this piece
of wit, that her husband vowed he heard her
plainly at the Crooked Billet.
126 KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER IX.
A. DREAM.
" Come and see who we have got here," wrote
my Uncle, not quite grammatically ; but the
relatives are enough to puzzle any one who has
not had Latin antecedents — if on the strength
of good spirits I may venture upon a very
ancient joke. I knew who it was ; there could
be no suspense or doubt. Witli those very
brief words of his came a little note, in the
hand that always made my hand shake.
"Darling Kit," it said ;
" I am so sorry to hear of your long
and fearful illness. But thank Grod, you are
getting better now, and will soon be as well as
ever, I do hope. I cannot tell you what has
happened, till you come, for it would only
excite and worry you. It really seems as if
there was something always to keep us from
A DREAM. 127
one another. But we must try to get over it,
my dear ; and if we keep our trust in a Good
Providence, we shall. Your Uncle is the kindest
of the kind to me ; and I am ever so much
better, though I only came last night. I feel
that I could wander all day long in these lovely
gardens, with the blossoms, and the birds, and
be as happy and as free from care as they are.
But I am not to stay here, as your Uncle thinks
it better that I should have two pretty rooms
at Widow Cutthumb's, which are to be let very
reasonably indeed, and I mean to write to ask
my father for the money. You must not come
back one day sooner, on account of my being
here ; mind that, or I shall be very angry with
you. This is not because I do not long to see
you, for you know better than that, dear Kit ;
but because I want you to get quite well, which
is a great deal more to me than my own health.
And so it always should be, if people love one
another. Give my best regards to your Aunt,
Miss Parslow, and tell her that I love dogs
quite as much as she does. And I once had
a dear little dog of my own, but he was taken
from me. Now, mind what I say ; for I will
be obeyed ; at any rate until I have to swear
to the contrary, which is never carried out by
128 KIT AND KITTY.
the ladies nowadays. My dear dear, I sliall
be afraid to look at you. They tell me you are
so different from what you were.^ And I get
long wrinkles up and down my forehead, if I
ever allow myself to think of it ; and though
I try not to do it, it will come back again. But
never mind ; you will be as strong as ever
when you have a good kiss from
" Your own Kitty."
" AVell, I call that something like a true love-
letter ; " my Aunt Parslow said, when she had
contrived almost to compel me to show it to
her, which I did not feel sure that I had any
rig-ht to do. ^' That's a true woman, thouo-h I
never Baw her. She thinks of you ten times
as much as of herself; and no man can pretend
to say that he repays it ; even when he happens
to deserve it; which has never happened to any
gentleman I knew. You write, and you talk,
and you go on with fine words, till people who
listen to you believe, that you mean to give up
your own ways altogether. And perhaps you
do believe it, at the time, for you never know
your own minds at all. But about three days
of it — that's all there is. I know it from friends
of my own ; though, thank God, I had sense
A DREAM. 129
enough never to try it myself. And then it is,
*Mary, could you fill my pipe? It would be
so sweet, dear, ,if you did it ! ' Or — ' Louisa,
I must have left my handkerchief upstairs.
Did you happen to notice where I put it, dear ? '
And she is fool enough to run for it, and kisses
him on the bottom step ; and her life is a tread-
mill afterwards. Your Kitty is quite of that
sort, mind. I can see it in every word she
writes."
" Well, Aunt Parslow, and you would have
been the same, if any gentleman had had the
luck to offer you upon his altar."
" I believe I should," she answered, with a
snap at first ; and then she smiled -slowly, and
said, " No doubt I should, Kit. But try to be
no worse than you can help with her."
If anything can rouse a lover's indignation —
and there are too many things that do so — such
a calm assumption of his levity and ferocity is
the first to set it boiling. " What are you
thinking of?" I asked, without even adding,
" Aunt Parslow."
" I am pleased to see you in that state of
mind," she continued ; when gratitude alone
preserved me, without even a half-glance at
her twenty thousand pounds, from the mur-
VOL. II. K
130 KIT AND KITTY.
derous speecli that was on my tongue. " Bnt
you are very young, Kit. You will come to
know better, when you have had enough of this
sweet Kitty. Enough very soon becomes too
much. And then what do you do ? You
neglect them, and think that you are very good
indeed, if you do no worse."
Miss Parslow was not at all a spiteful woman ;
even too much the other way, if that can be.
And of such things she could have no ex-
perience, because she had never risked it. But
being deeply hurt, I said — " You know best."
She turned back into the house, with all her
dogs at her heels ; for none of them cared a bit
for the air of heaven, in comparison with their
own food and footstools. And I rather hoped
that she would come out, and say — " You have
been very rude to me ; get you back to Sunbury."
Being in a fine large frame of mind — though
the frame was too large for its contents, I trow —
what did I do, but pull out my Kitty's letter, and
begin it all again ; just as if every word of it
were not in my heart already ? Bu.t it adds
sometimes to the satisfaction of the heart, to be
assured once more by the eyes and brain, that
they knew what they were doing, when^they
brought it the good news.
A DKEAM. 131
The valley of the Mole was very lovely, in
this flush of the fair Spring-tide. Bend after
bend, bud after bud, tint up )n tint, all as soft
to the eye as the sense of them is to the spirit
within ; with the twinkle of the sun stealing
through them shyly, as a youth, in the morn-
ing of his love, quivers as he glances at 'the
beauty of his maiden. All these delights double
their enchantment to the weak, as the lights of
Heaven multiply, when the eyes are full of tears.
Jupiter (who was the greatest light, at least
of the earth, to Miss Parslow) ran up and sniffed
at me, and said " Look out ! " as clearly as the
dog of a most observant and genial w^riter has
learned to say it — up to the last advices. And
after him came his mistress, no longer didactic,
but deprecative. The beauty of woman is that
they change so rapidly. Who does not love a
Kaleidoscope ?
" I have been thinking over your affairs," she
said, that she might seem consistent; "and I
find my first opinion quite confirmed. The
moment I knew what your condition was, I
said— as you must remember. Kit— ' There is
only one thing to do, and the sooner we get it
done 'the better.' I will not place myself under
any obligation to Mr. Henderson, though I feel
132 KIT AND KITTY.
that he has behaved very well, in not coming over
to bother rae. I have sent down and ordered
the fly with a pole — I forget what they call it,
I dare say you know — and I have ordered the
green room to be got ready. She must not
think at all of her complexion in the glass. It
will be as right as ever, when she gets dowji-
stairs."
" I have no idea what you mean, Aunt
Parslow. But you must not be put out, becau>-e
I was always slow."
" And they talk of the masculine mind ! Oh
dear, any girl of your age would have known
in a second. There is such a place as Leather-
head. Isn't there now ? "
" Beyond a doubt. And you the first lady
m it.
" Very well. And there is such a place as
Sunbury, and a road between them, though not
at all a good one. Well then, at Leatherhead
there is a young man, crotchety, grumpy, what-
ever you like to call him, but horribly stubborn,
and possessed with one idea. And at Sunbury.
there is a young lady to be found, very little
better, I dare say, and possessed with the same
idea, only upside down, as women are supposed
to see everything. They have got it into their
A DREAM. 133
stupid heads, tliat they cannot live without one
another. It would cost more to take the young
man to her, and perhaps he would never come
back again. It is cheaper to fetch the young
lady to him ; though it can't be done under a
guinea. And the fly with two horses will start
in half an hour."
I told her she was the best woman in the
world ; and she answered that I was a hypocrite,
yet seemed pleased with my hypocrisy. Then
we had a debate whether Kitty would come, in
which I maintained the negative, for the sake
of being convinced, not against my will.
" You are a perfect stupe," said my aunt,
with sound judgment ; " you don't know what
a woman is, half so well as Jupiter. Not to
talk of affection,- or any of that stuff, a woman
thinks ten times as much as a man does of the
wickedness of wasting money. If I went
myself, she would think I came for a drive, and
her conscience would be easy. If I sent one
horse, she would hesitate a great deal, if she did
not want to come. But when she sees two
horses and an empty carriage, do you think she
would let the man get all the money for nothing ?
It would take four horses going the other way,
to prevent her jumping in and saying, ' Well,
134 KIT AND KITTY.
I suppose I must.' I shall write her a very
pretty note, of course. You had better not be
well enough to send anything but your love."
I was only ajfraid that Uncle Corny might
take it as rather a slur upon him, to have his
new visitor stolen like this. But Miss Parslow
(who was alwaj^s extremely desirous to have
her own way, when her mind was made up)
declared that she would make that all rig-ht
with him. And so she did, by reasoning which
I did not try to penetrate, and which she put
vaguely in her note to him. For it was some-
thing about clothing, and deficiency of ward-
robe, which men cannot understand, and are
impressed with readily, when the duty of
paying for it falls on some one else.
" Not that I intend to pay," said Miss Parslow,
in confidence to me, though my Uncle was led
by her letter to a contrary conclusion ; " but
my credit is good in Leatherhead. I shall get
a few things of a becoming style and tone for
her, and have the bill made out to Professor
Fairthorn. Messrs. Flounce and Furbelow may
have only got one window, but they get their
goods direct from Paris ; and I see from their
circular they expect a large consignment of very
chaste articles, and the latest mode, to-morrow.
A DREAM. 135
It will be most fatiguing at my time of life.
But if I like the girl, as I know I shall, I can
scarcely refuse her the benefit of my judgment."
" I think I shall go down the hill a little
way, and see what they have got in the window
now," I answered, for the two horses now had
been gone some four hours ; " and then I shall
know the old stuff, if they attempt to mix it
with the latest mode. You can scarcely be too
sharp in these little places. It is not that they
want to cheat anybody, and they would rather
not do it to a native. But I should just like to
see how much tliey have got now."
" Ah, there is a fine view from the pavement
there. You can see right into Middlesex, and
even Berkshire, I am told, when the day is
unusually fine. But I never knew it fine
enough to see five miles. You might as well
go and play with the dogs, my dear."
To play with the dogs was very well in its
way, and had lightened many a listless hour,
when the body was slack fi^r its to and fro of
action, and the mind could take no food, except
as a dog bites grass. Then the tricks of the
doggies, their sprightly flashing eyes, and per-
ception of one's meaning almost before it knew
itself, as well as their good nature and enjoy-
136 KIT AND KITTY.
ment of a joke, and readiness to time tlieir wits
by the slower pulse of mine — take it as I would
or might, here was always something to teach
me that one is not every one.
But I could not see the beauty of this lesson
now. Selfish love had got me by the button-
hole, and there never is much humour in the
tale he tells. It is all about himself, and the
celestial one who sent him ; and he is so much in
earnest that he cannot bear a laugh. Even the
crinolines in the little narrow window of Messrs.
Flounce and Co., where they had to hang
alternate, one high and one low, not to poke
each other's ribs, although they reminded me of
what I had seen in church, suggested it without
a single smile to follow ; for my mind, in the
reverence of love, was able to people them with
the sacred form inside. And yet at any other
time I must have laughed, recalling as it did
the ingenuity of ladies, who contrived in our
narrow pews to reconcile their worship of a
Higher Power with that of their own frocks.
And the ladies who now go limp may be glad
— when fashion comes round in its cycle — to
remember how their mothers made the best
of it. Each lady alternate stood on a high
hassock, each lady intermediate upon the
A DEE AM. 137
clmrcli boards; and so their cages iniderlapped
or overlapped each other ; and when it came
to kneeling one could hear them all contract.
There were quite as clever women then in
balloons, as those who end in serpents now.
Yainly I looked down the hill, and vainly
back at the crinolines. The only way to get
the thing desired is to leave off hoping for it.
When the sun was gone, and the silver mist
was gliding like a slow-worm up the vale, and
all the good people of Leatherhead had lit their
pipes and come out to talk, I went back slowly
to Yalley-view, with many a futile turn of
head, and ears too ready to be deceived. But
the only wheels I heard were those of the fish-
monger's cart going quite the wrong way, for
I knew that he had been with a middle cut of
salmon to the hospitable gate of Miss Parslow.
'* You had better go to sleep. Here is Betty
nearly wild," my aunt cried as she pushed me
in ; " that blessed butcher has only just sent the
lamb, and the boy let it fall in the middle of
the road. I hope to goodness, she won't come
for two hours. If she does, she will want sand-
wiches ; and there is nothing in the house to
make them of. Go and lie down, Kit ; don't
you see you are in the way ? What a lucky
138 KIT AND KITTY.
thing I told the man to rest the horses for at
least two hours at the Flowerpot. When he
gets into the tap, he is pretty sure to make it
four. You look as white as a ghost, poor boy !
Bother that love, it spoils everybody's dinner !
I haven't got a bit of appetite myself; and the
first bit of salmon for the season, except one !
Go in, get in ; lie down there and roll. Why,
you couldn't even tell where to find the mint ! "
This was all the sympathy I got in my
distress ; and when she had poked me into the
little room, or lobby, with a horsehair sofa,
where to roll meant to roll off, she locked me
up, as if I had been a pot of jam ; and all I
could hear was the rattle of the dripping-pan,
or the clink of the plates in the warmer. It
was worse than useless to repine ; so I turned
my back to everything and went to sleep.
In sleep, as it has been said of old, the fairest
and sweetest gifts of heaven descend upon help-
less mortals. Then alone is a man devoid of
harm, and gone back to his innocence, and the
peopling of his mind is not an array of greed
and selfishness. Then only is he far away from
malice, and corrupting care, and small im-
patience of the wrongs (which only sting, when
they strike himself), and bitter sense of having
A DEEAM. 139
failed through the jealousy of others. And
only tlien — if his angel still returns, though
seared and scouted — does he know the taste of
simple joys, and smile the smile of childhood.
What wonder then that his Father comes, with
returning love to him, while he sleeps ?
Then if the greatest gift of God to man, that
he can see and feel while in this lower world of
life, is that which was the first vouchsafed, —
the love of one, who thinks and tries to make
him nobler than herself— though she generally
fails in that — how can it come more gently to
him than as it came, the first time of all, when
he has been cast into deep sleep ?
It seemed to be no time for words, and even
thoughts found little room. Without a whisper
or a thought, my cheeks were wet with loving
tears, and gentle sobs came to my heart, and
faithful hands were locked in mine. A
sweeter dream never came from heaven ; and
if sleep were always so endowed, it would
be well to sleep for ever.
140 KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER X.
URGENT MEASURES.
Miss Parslow, although she pretended to he
rough, and to love dogs better than the human
race (for which she could give fifty reasons),
was as truly soft of heart as the gentlest woman
that ever shed a tear. She kept her own
history to herself; and it never struck me that
she had any. That is to say, as concerning us
men ; who are always supposed to be, but are
not always, the side to be blamed, when things
go amiss in the matter of sweethearting. She
had passed through some trouble in her early
days, as I found out long afterwards ; but had
not been soured thereby, any more than a river
has been poisoned by its tumbles in the hills.
The spell of Kitty's beauty and true good-
ness fell upon her. At first she strove hard to
make light of her, and then pretended still to
do so, when the efi'ort was in vain ; but in three
URGENT MEASUEES. 141
days' time it was all over ; and I felt tliat with
all my claims of kindred, and the proud Parslow
extract of tea in my veins, I was chiefly re-
garded as Kitty's sweetheart. It was — " Where
is Kitty? What would Kitty like for dinner?
Did Kitty tell you, what she thought of this
parasol ? Tell Kitty that I am waiting for her
down the garden," And so on, until I began
to smile, and to fear that I should never have
my Kitty to myself. And the beauty of it was
that Miss Parslow seemed to think that I was
not so attentive as I should be to Miss Fairthorn.
" What did you mean, by carrying on as you
did with that girl, Sally Chalker ? " she
inquired one day in a very stern voice, when
I had only asked Miss Chalker if she was fond
of roses. " Are you such an oaf as to think
that Sally Chalker is fit to wipe the shoes of
Kitty Fairthorn ? And if it is her money that
tempts you, remember that her father is a most
determined man. And there used to be such
a thing as honour among young men. What
will Mr. Henderson say, when I tell him, as
I shall at the first opportunity, that you take
advantage of being on the spot, to try to cut
him out with his precious Sally ? And I believe
that he really is attached to her."
142 KIT AND KITTY.
There is no end of the bubbles that ladles
blow, when they once begin to dabble in love-
affairs. They never can let well alone, and
they have such a knack of setting one another's
hackles up, that when I hear now of any match
being off, where I knew that the young people
loved each other, I never inquire about stern
parents, but ask who the sisters and female
cousins are.
Even Kitty, the best and most sensible girl
that ever wore a bonnet, began to think at last
that there must be something in all this rubbish.
I observed that she coloured, and glanced at me,
whenever Miss Chalker's name came up, as it
did pretty often, entirely through my aunt,
who would toss it about, as a dog throws a
bone, when he has exhausted all its grease.
And I used to look down, as if I were thinking
very deeply. Perhaps she would love me more,
if she grew jealous.
Then she began to sigh, softly at first, and
not enough for me to be sure of it ; but by and
by more deeply, as she found me too polite to
be aware of this exertion of an undoubted
private right. And she used to say — " Oh, I
do admire her, so mucli ! I think she is so
lovely. Don't you quite agree with me, Kit ? "
URGENT MEASURES. 143
And I used to say — " Most perfect. Can there
be any doubt about it ? " And then she would
not look at me, perhaps for half an hour.
I know that this was very wrong of me — as
wrong as well could be. And I used to steal
a glance at Kitty, when she was not watching,
and ask myself if any man with two eyes in his
head could turn them twice on Sally Chalker,
after such a view as that. However I did not
say so ; for I felt that my darling should know
better, and if she chose to be like that, why she
must, until she came to reason ; and that was
her place, more than mine. But I could not
bear to hear her sigh.
Miss Parslow rather enjo^-ed this business,
which was a great deal worse of her than
anything that I did. For she herself had set
it going, with no consideration for my feelings,
and no ri2:ht whatever. And I think that she
ought to have healed the mischief, which she
could have done at any moment ; whereas she
pretended not to see it, although she was much
too sharp for that.
However it could not go on long, and I had
made up my mind to clear it up, when I was
saved the trouble. For as I sat in my favourite
place, with the lovely valley before me, and the
144 KIT AND KITTY J
sun sinking into a bed of roses far beyond tlie
Surrey Kills, I heard the little pit-a-pat that
was dearer than my pulse to me, and down the
winding walk came Kitty, carrying an ugly
yellow book. She had no hat on, and her hair
was tied back, as if it had been troubling her ;
and as soon as she saw me she turned away her
head, and hastily passed her hand over her
cheeks, as if to be sure that they were dry.
Then she looked at me bravely, though her
mouth was twitching, and said — " Oh, will you
do it for me, if you please ? "
" Do what ? " I asked very reasonably, though
I began to guess what she was thinking of; for
the ugly book was a Railway Gruide.
" Miss Parslow told me to ask you. She
cannot make it out any more than I can. It is
very stupid, of course ; but she says that she
never met a woman who could make out Brad-
shaw, and she would strictly avoid her, if she
ever did."
" But what is it I am to make out ? We
can't get to Sunbury, by any line, my darling/'
When I called her that, her dear eyes shone ;
but she went on, as if she were correcting them.
" What I want to make out is a good quick
train, without any extra fare to pay, from
URGENT MEASURES. 145
London to Glasgow ; and it must arrive by
daylight, though I suppose it would have to
start at night for that. But I am not at all
afraid."
" What on earth has got into this lovely
little head?" I made offer to take it between
my two hands, as I had been allowed to do,
once or twice, when apparently falling back in
health. But it seemed to prefer its own support
just now.
" You must be aware, if you will take the
trouble to think for a minute about it, that I
cannot remain here in this sort of way, living
upon a perfect stranger, although sbe is good-
ness and kindness itself; and runnino- into debt
in a country place like this, just because I have
got no money. The only thing for me is to
find out my father. He may be delighted to
receive me now, and I may even be able to help
him there. Miss Parslow has promised most
kindly to lend me quite money enough to get
to Glasgow. I must write to my father by this
evening's post, and then I shall be able to start
to-morrow ; only I must let him know what
train I am likely to arrive by, for his time is
always occupied."
" A very nice programme ! " I exclaimed, as
VOL. II. L
146 KIT AND KITTY.
slie smiled, or tried to smile, at her own powers
of arrangement. " But if you please, Miss
Fairthorn, what am I to do ? "
" You must not ask me," she said, turning
away ; " there are so many things for you to
do. Soon you will be able to be at work again.
And if you don't like that, you can marry some
one with plenty of money, and keep racehorses.
I dare say it is a nice life, for those who like
it.
" I cannot make out a word of this," I
answered ; " people with money, and race-
horses ! And going to Glasgow by the train
all night ! Do try to tell me, dear, what it is
all about."
" It is only natural that I should go to my
father, when nobody wants me. I am not
blaming any one. You must not imagine that.
I have only myself to blame, for believing that
I was a great deal more than I was."
" When nobody wants you ! Oh, Kitty,
Kitty, I must be gone off my head again ; and
that is why you want to run away from me.
Look at me honestly, and say that it is so. I
would rather give you up, dear, and go mad by
myself; than marry you, if that has once got
into your mind."
URGENT MEASURES. 147
She looked at me with terror, and deep
amazement ; then fell into my arms, and
threw her own around me, and put up her lips
as a cure for every evil.
" How can you say such, wicked things ? "
she whispered, as soon as I allowed her sweet
lips room. " You can have no idea what I am,
if you suppose that I should ask whether you
were off your head, or on it, when once I had
given all my heart to you. But you must not
have anybody else in your head."
"As if I ever could ! "
" Oh, but yes, you might."
"I should like to know v/ho it could be then.
As if there were any one in all the world fit to
hold a candle to my own Kitty."
" There's a much prettier girl in this very
place, if she did not stick her elbows out so
sadly, as she walks, and put her heels on the
ground before her toes. And if she had not
got — well, not quite green eyes."
" Somebody else has green eyes, I should say,
if they were not as blue as heaven. Sally
Chalkcr ? Why, I would not touch her with
a pair of tongs. And if I did, Sam llenderson
would take the poker to me."
" Oh, Kit, can you assure me, upon your word
148 KIT AND KITTY.
of honour, that there is nothing between you
and Miss Chalker ? "
" No, I can't. Because there is the whole
world between us, and what is more than ten
times the whole world to me, a certain little
Kitty, who has no fault whatever — except that
she is desperately jealous."
" Jealous indeed ! You must never think
that. I hope I have a little too much faith in
you," she said, as she came and coaxed me with
her hand, making me tremble with her love
and loveliness.
But I said, " Confess, or I will never let you
go ; " and she looked up and laughed, and
whispered —
" Well then, perhaps — but only ever such a
wee bit."
Miss Chalker's ears must have tingled after
that ; for I called her a vulgar and common-
place girl — which was not at all true — and a
showy dressy thing, and I know not what,
until Kitty came w^armly to the rescue ; for
she seemed to like her very greatly, all of a
sudden, and found out that she walked quite
gracefully. Then I took the hateful Bradshaw,
and tied a flat stone in it, and flung it over the
tops of the trees into the Mole. And when we
URGENT MEASURES. 149
went in, as the dinner-bell rang- — for Miss
Parslow kept fashionable hours now — that good
lady looked very knowing, and asked with a
smile which was meant to be facetious, whether
I had seen Miss Chalker lately.
" I saw her sticking her elbows out down the
street, and putting her heels to the ground
before her toes," I answered ; and true enough
it was, though I had never observed those little
truths before. Miss Parslow stared, and Kitty
gave me such a glance, that I resolved to have
honourable amends, or do worse.
" You won't have much more chance of
running down our local belles," said my Aunt,
as she handed me a letter ; '• Mr. Henderson
passed in his dog-cart just now, to see the young
lady who does such dreadful things, and he
kindly brought this letter from your Uncle to
me. He seems in a great hurry ; how un-
reasonable men are! I think he might have
come and paid his respects to Miss Fairthorn,
even if he did not think me worthy of that
honour. Read it aloud. He is a diamond, no
doubt ; but I think he should be treated as the
Koh-i-noor has been."
Knowing Uncle Corny's style, I read without
surprise —
150 KIT AND KITTY.
"Dear Madam,
" Kit has had quite time enough to
get well. I am tired of being here all by
myself, and I want him in the garden, for at
least three weeks before he is married, which
I mean him to be then, if Miss Fairthorn will
kindly agree to it. Placed as she is, she will
see the sense of that ; for it is the only way to
make her safe. And I wish her to be married
here at Sunbury, in our old church, where I
have always had a pew. I shall send the tax-
cart for Kit to-morrow, and he will arrange
with the lady to come before Sunday to Widow
Cutthumb's, where I will take uncommonly
good care that nobody molests her. On Sunday
the banns will be read for the first time, with
Miss Fairthorn's full permission, and nobody
else's, so far as I care. We shall hope for the
honour of your presence, when the young
people are joined together. Thanking you,
Madam, for your kindness to my nephew, and
with my best respects,
" I am faithfully yours,
" Cornelius Orchardson."
" Well, my dear Kitty," said my Aunt, when
I had finished ; " he disposes of you as calmly
URGENT MEASURES. 151
as if you were a bushel of apples, or a sack of
potatoes. I thought it was the lady's place to
fix the auspicious day."
" You cannot expect a bachelor to be at
home among such questions ; " I came to my
love's rescue, for she knew not wliat to say,
and was blushing, and looking down, and
wondering what to make of it. " But I must
go to-morrow, if he sends for me. If old
Spanker came for nothing, I should never hear
the last of it. My Uncle has heard something,
which we do not know of. He is prompt,
and to the purpose; but I never knew him
rash."
" I see, I see ; " Miss Parslow's voice was
much subdued, for she loved a bit of mystery,
and saw tokens of it here. " Don't let us talk
about it now, until we've had our dinner. Kit's
last bachelor dinner here ! We'll have a bottle
of Champagne, to make us laugli a little at this
peremptory wedlock. Your Uncle is a curious
man ; but if it comes to that, all men are very
curious beings."
" And ladies are so, in the other sense, and
the active one of the word ; but we are never
known to complain of that."
" Of course you never have any secrets.
152 KIT AND KITTY.
Take your everlasting in to dinner, and I will
follow you. All the world will have to do that
by and by, if you only keep up to this high
mark of constancy and devotion."
Kitty smiled at me, and I smiled at Kitty ;
for we knew that any lower mark might do for
other people.
Lofty and good as she was, my Aunt could
scarcely be expected to see things thus. A
lady who has never been up a ladder, is afraid
of her skirts, even more than of her head.
Aunt Parslow was not at all strait-laced' — for
she had given up caring about her figure now
— but she did think that Kitty and I were
almost too much wrapped up in one another ;
and perhaps that was why, in her feminine
style, she had brought Miss Chalker, or vainly
tried to bring her, in between us.
On the following day, the spring-cart arrived,
with Selsey Bill's biggest boy sitting up to
drive ; and away I went with nothing truly
settled, but everything left elastic ; as happens
nearly always, when the women have their
way. I promised to bring Uncle Corny to
reason (as the ladies viewed that substance),
and to come back the next day but one, if wet
bandages enabled the old horse to do it again.
URGENT MEASURES. 153
He was wiry enough, but his wire was stiff,
and some of the connections rickety,
" Kit, you are a fool," Mr. Orehardson said,
as soon as he had done the outside talk ; " do
you mean to have that girl, or not ? "
I assured him that I hoped quite as warmly
and wholly to marry my beautiful darling, as
I did to be alive for the purpose of doing it,
now that the Lord had restored my health.
" Then look alive," he answered, " or you
will never do it. She is not safe even where
she is. I am not going to tell you what I
know, because you would think me fanciful ;
only I say that if it was my case, I would not
lose a day that is not demanded by manners
and decency. You have her father's consent,
and hers. You are surrounded by wily foes.
I have explained everything to Mr. Golightly ;
he is a sensible man, and he does not care two-
pence for Miss Coldpepper, for she never gives
a sixpence she can help towards the church.
Widow Cutthumb will take fourteen shillino;s a
week, including coals and candles. Two weeks
done properly will make three Sundays, and you
will be both in the parish. I have got an old
door, which I mean to put up, to keep people
from landing in her garden, and I defy them
154 KIT AND KITTY.
to get into the house from the street. I believe
thej don't know where your Kitty is at present;
but they will find out ; and what can that old
maid, with all her lap-dogs, do to protect her ?
If you mean your Kitty to be ever Mrs. Kit,
you must look sharp, and no mistake."
I was much surprised at his urgency, but
could get no more reasons out of him. Being
equally urged by love, and strong distrust of
coming dangers, I did not lose a single day,
but wrote to Miss Parslow by the very next
post, because she required, and- indeed deserved,
to have a voice in all we did. Then I took the
young horse on the following day, for old
Spanker f)und himself a little stiff, and brought
back my darling to h.er beloved Sunbury, where
she had made up her mind to dwell. Widow
Cutthumb received her with curtseys and
smiles, and a very strong sense of her own
importance. For the whole village now was
on tiptoe about us, and everybody seemed to
take our side.
But if 1 stopped to tell a thousandth part of
what was said, I should never get married,
which is the main point.
It must not be supposed that my Kitty all
this time had neglected her dear father. She
URGENT MEASURES. 155
had written to him several times from Leather-
liead, enclosing a note or two from Miss Pars-
low, as well as a few little bills for soft goods.
And he had replied in the most affectionate
manner, and enclosed some cash. This en-
courajred her now to write for more ; and he
behaved most handsomely, considering how the
other party had been making boot upon the
products of his brain. But be was a true
philosopher, and money to him was not the
motive power of life, nor even the shaft, but
only the lubricator. He promised to be with
us, if he could ; and bis wife being still away
in North Wales, tbere seemed to be no sound
reason why he should fear to come to London.
Indeed it seemed natural that he should come,
before leaving England upon his long cruise,
for the Archytas — as the ship was called — ^had
now been completed in every detail, and was
trying her engines at Greenock. And so we
hoped to see him upon the blissful day.
156 KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER XL
TWO TO ONE.
" Never wur any luck in a wadding, as wur
put off from app'inted day. For why ? Why,
because it be flying in the vace of the Lard,
as hath app'inted 'un."
Knowing that Tabby was very often right
in her prophecies, and could prove them right
— even when they were wrong — as most
prophets can, I begged her not to say a word
about that to my darling ; because she was a
little superstitious, although sprung from the
very highest form of science. But science very
seldom keeps its dates ; and to make them
tally, we had postponed our day from Tuesday
even till Thursday. For Captain Fairthorn
had written again, to say that he could not be
with us on the Tuesday, but was almost sure
that he could manage it, if we would only leave
it till two days later. My Uncle had frowned
TWO TO ONE. 157
and said — " Not a single hour. If his wheels
and his wires are more to him than his only
child, let him stop with them. But you must
leave it to Kitty. Such a question is for her."
Vexed as I was, I could not deny this. And
she pleaded so well, though with reason on her
side, that we vented our anger on the absent
man, and only our affection and good will on
her.
But the one who made the greatest grievance
of it was my Aunt, Miss Parslow. She had
hurried her dressmaker to the verge of mutiny,
and made her sit up (either in person, or by
deputy) two whole nights, and she felt that she
would have to pay deeply for this, and now
here it was all needless ! " I have the greatest
mind not to come at all," she wrote ; " and if it
were for anything but pure compassion, you
may be quite sure that I would wash my hands
of you. Men manage everything in this world,
even the things that they understand least ;
and you will see what comes of it. If I come
on Thursday, I shall be quite unprepared ;
though I should have been in perfect readiness
on Tuesday."
This was a hard saying ; but we agreed tliat
she knew what she meant, and could explain it
158 KIT AND KITTY.
to her liking. And seeing that the ladies were
now so full of reason, I thought that I would
have another try at Miss Coldpepper.
I had ventured to call upon that lady once,
while the preparations were in full swing ; but
she had said that she was not at home, and of
course she must know best, though I had seen
her walking in her great Camelia-house. My
Uncle Cornelius had been of opinion that, even
if she would not honour our church with her
presence, she could scarcely escape from the
duty of sending her former visitor and favourite
something very handsome as a wedding present.
A silver tea-service was the least thing he could
think of, but unluckily the last thing that
occurred to her as needful. She had made it a
grievance, as she wanted one, that Miss Fair-
thorn should have 'dared to go to Widow
Cutthumb's, when everybody in the village
knew how shockingly the widow had behaved
to Mrs. Marker.
But all this appeared to me to be very small
talk now ; for I was in a generous and large
condition, such as is only too apt to credit all
fellow-creatures with the like expansion. It
should never be said of me, that any petty pride
had prevented me from holding out the olive-
TWO TO ONE. 159
branch — whether to he gilded, or even to he
peeled — at a time when I was hoping to he
crowned with myrtle. Scorning all considera-
tions of a silver teapot, I went to Coldpepper
Manor, and rang gently.
" Missus will see you this time," said my
friend Charles, who had tasted our strawberries
many a time, when he durst not steal any more
at home ; " she is all agog about you, sir,
though she shams to know nothing. Happiness
to you and dear Miss Kitty, sir ! "
The least I could do was to give him half
a crown, for he had always appeared to me to be
a worthy fellow. He slipped it into his hornet-
coloured waistcoat, and bawled out " Mr.
Christopher Orchardson," as if I had come in a
coach and four.
"I am pleased to see you, Mr. 'Orchardson,"
said the lady of the Hall, as I made a low bow ;
" take a chair, and tell me what you are doing.
I never hear anything that happens in the
village."
I am not at all certain what reply I made,
being fluttered by the force of habit in her
stately presence. But she was better pleased
by this, than she would have been by any
assumption of ease and self-command.
ICO KIT AND KITTY.
" Although I hear so little, a report has
reached me," she went on with a smile which
was not at all disdainful, " that you are about
to marry Kitty Fairthorn. If so, you are a
wonderfully fortunate young man."
" It would add very greatly to our happiness,
madam," I ventured to say, though with some
misgivings, " if you would be kind enough to
give us your good wislies. Miss Fairthorn has
not been to call upon you, because — because she
was not sure that you would wish it. And she
is acting entirely without the consent of her
step-mother, who is your sister. I hope you
will not think the worse of her for that. The
lady has never been very kind to her."
" Kitty was quite right in not coming here ;
it would have placed me in an unpleasant
position. I have not seen much of my sister
for years. But I cannot enter into such matters.
And you have done right in coming to me
thus. Certainly you both have my good
wishes. And though Kitty might have looked
for a much higher marriage — I may say that
without any disrespect to you — I believe that
she will be happier in a very simple life. You
will understand that I cannot be present — under
the peculiar circumstances. Neither will you
TWO TO ONE. 161
expect me to receive Kitty here, when she is
Mrs. Orchardson ; she is no relative of mine,
and she has cliosen her own path. But I like
her none the less, and you may tell her that.
She has plenty of proper pride, and would
resent my patronage. I was told that the
wedding was to be to-day. Why have you put
it off? You are unwise."
She looked as if she knew something which
would alarm me, if declared ; but I did not
presume to ask about it, and simply told her
the cause of the delay.
" You may expect him ; but you will not see
him," she answered, as if she knew more than
we did ; " don't put it off another day, if you
wish it to be at all. But it is no affair of mine.
Good morning to you,"
I returned in an anxious state of mind, for she
had clearly dismissed me, that I might ask no
questions. And instead of going straight to my
Uncle's house, I hurried to that of the widow,
to make sure that my darling was safe, and
all due care observed. After what had been
already done to Kitty, how could I tell that
there was no plot yet in store ? My bodily
strength was restored by this time, and I felt
myself a match for almost any man ; and surely
VOL. II. M
1G2 KIT AND KITTY.
intense and incessant devotion must vanquish
i.niholj pursuit and vile designs. All we knew of
our enemies at present was that they had retired
from the scene of their defeat, and locked up the
cottage w'here they had felt so sure of victory.
But my Uncle Cornelius had good reason for
believing that his premises were watched ; and
a couple of his men had been tempted to drink
by some mysterious stranger, who showed the
greatest interest in our ways, and works, and
manners. And the worst of it was that the
river (being almost at our doors, and not
frequented then as it is now) afforded such a
space for roguish travel, that there ought to be
a paling put up against it, with tenter-hooks,
and wire-netting on the top, if any man desired
to keep his garden to himself. For the people
who come up, as they get aw^ay from London,
seem to claim the country more and more, and
to think that it was made for nothing else
except to be a change for them ;' and they
reason that as a river must have banks, those
banks are a part of it, and the whole belongs to
them.
My beloved (who was both my banks, and
the channel of all my life as well) had not been
left alone all this time, with only Widow Cut-
TWO TO ONE. 1G3
thumb to amuse her. Otherwise she would
have had a sorry time ; for that widow had but
two subjects of discourse — the merits of her
late liusband, and the scarcity of all vegetables.
But a very sharp young lady, Miss Gertrude
Triggs, about three years older than my Kitty,
being in need of country air after an attack of
nettle-rash, had kindly consented to come and
occupy the best room at Widow Cutthumb's.
At first I was uneasy, for if Kitty were to
catch that complaint, after all her other troubles,
was she likely to look well upon the bridal day ?
But Dr. Sippets, said that he would warrant
no infection ; and so Miss Triggs came and
occupied. And certainly she helped to set off
the complexion, upon which it was impossible
to imagine any rash. At first, I was not fond
of Miss Triggs, for she had too much sting in
her words and ways ; and I made no allowance
f<jr what she had been through. And to my
mind women should never try to sting, being
apt to get the worst of it (as even do the bees),
and intended more by nature to do the honey-
making. But my poor ideas have always been
old-fashioned ; and I am sorry (for the sake of
others) that it should be so.
But when I came to understand Gerty
164 KIT AND KITTY.
Trig-gs, and to value her real friendship for my
dear one, I acknowledged (as a man should do)
that I had been a gaby. Not only bad she
protected Kitty at school, and even lent her
under-clothing when she got no supplies from
her step-mother, but she had actually made
an inroad into Bulwrag Castle, to try a round
with the great lady herself, on behalf of tlie
innocent captive. She was rapidly discomfited,
of course; she had resolved to show the truth,
but she was quickly shown the door ; and
though she maintained that she had triumphed,
it may have been in logic, but it was not so in
fact ; and the result to herself had been this
nasty nettle-rash. However, as she got over
that, and put the air of our garden upon her
cheeks, I began to esteem her, and to find
her rather pretty.
It was settled by the laws of nature that she
should be bridesmaid ; and Uncle Corny found
another not connected much with trade, yet
able to provide her own outfit. My Uncle said,
though not to Kitty — for he was quite a
gentleman to her throughout — that he could not
discover any call on him to fit everybody up
with gew-gaws. It was her father's place, if
he wanted things to be done in proper style, to
TWO TO ONE. 165
come and see to them himself, or at any rate to
send directions, and the money to have them
carried out. Instead of that, he had left ever}^-
thing to us, kept us in trouble about the day,
and perhaps driven off Miss Parslow, and her
twenty thousand pounds. It was plain that he
tliought it a higher duty to fit out his ship than
his only child. Considering all this, Uncle Corny
was only surprised at his own generosity ; but
when I joined him in that surprise, he cut me
very short, and asked what I knew about him.
It was natural enough that he should be cross ;
and I told him so, which only made him worse.
Nevertheless when the true day came, which
I always recall with gratitude and wonder at
a grace so far beyond my merits, everybody
behaved as if there were nothing but peace and
good will in the world. We received a telegram
quite early that the ship was ordered to sail
tliat day, and the Captain could only send his
l>lessing. Kitty shed some tears, but all the
rest of us were pleased, because it fulfilled our
predictions. And my Uncle was proud to give
the bride away, and at the same time to keep
her, as he neatly said.
Miss Parslow came over in style, with a mass
of white flowers piled high on the seat before
ICG KIT AND KITTY.
her, and wearing her silver gray silk dress,
which set her off to great advantage. And she
presented tlie bride with a silver basket, fit
either for flowers or fruit, and containing a
very neat cheque for a hundred guineas. Sam
Henderson acted as my best man, and did
everything better than I did, for I scarcely
knew my right hand from my left. Mrs.
Wilcox was present, and so was Mrs. Howies,
without whom we should never have been there,
and Selsey Bill of course, and every man who
possessed a top hat in the parish. And to our
amazement. Miss Coldpepper was sitting in her
curtained pew, although she had said that she
would not come. And after the service she
kissed my Kitty, and said that she would give
her something by and by.
What my darling wore I have not tbe least
idea, or at least I had not on that day, though
1 came to know too well afterwards. But all
the men said, and nearly all the women too,
that she was the fairest, and sweetest, and most
lovely of all the brides ever seen in Sunbury,
which was no little thing to say; for our village
is celebrated in that way. And she behaved
with such grace and goodness, that it seemed as
if those blessings must be multiplied upon her.
TWO TO ONE. 167
Several women cried to think that she should
look so Christian, after all the treatmetit that
she had received — for Mrs. Bowles declared
that she had been in a wire-caire — and if I were
to try to straighten half the crooked tales they
told, I never should find any time for a separate
word with Kitty.
Only I remember that when she came and
kissed me, in her simple, and loving, and
bewitching way, I saw the gleam of tears in
her deep blue eyes ; and when I asked (without
words) what it was, she answered —
" I should have liked to have one kiss from
father."
This proof of her tenderness increased my
adoration ; for an affectionate daughter must
become a loving wife. Then I took away my
treasure to be mine alone ; and Kit and Kitty,
for the time, are one.
168 KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER XII.
UNDER THE GARDEN WALL.
Not mucli time could we have together in the
land of Goshen, where the boils and blains
of the ungodly world are not yet sprinkled in
the radiant air. Uncle Corny gave us for our
honeymoon one week — which has often proved
much longer than the silver cord would stretch
— but we, intending all our lives to be of
sparkling sweetness, cared very little where we
spent the hours, if only with each other. And
perhaps we scarcely deserved to be in a place
so calmly beautiful, not so far away as to take
a cliff of money to get there, and yet having
fine brave crags of its own. Perhaps it may be
found in ancient charts as Baycliff, although it is
such a quiet homely place, without any Railway
to advertise it, that I have seen some maps
which were too good to give the name. But
they could not annihilate it by such petty
silence ; and a pleasant seaside village is like a
UNDER THE GAEDEN WALL. 169
pleasing woman ; the less it is talked about, the
more it keeps its charms.
For my part, I could not see the need of
going back in such hot haste to Sunbury, dearly
as I loved that desirable village. For here
were many things that we could never have
there, the level space and leisure of the many-
coloured sea, the majesty of cliffs white-browed
with centuries of tempest, the gliding of white
sails across the G:leamino^ ruffle of the cove, and
Ihe crisp elastic sands that kept the fairy trace
of Kitty's feet close to my great clumsy prints.
" Let us steal another week," I said ; " it is
but a fleeting holiday, and we shall never know,
such a time again."
But my beloved, growing dearer every day,
if that could be, gave good advice, against her
own delight, that we should not begin our
married life with selfishness. We had been so
kindly treated that we must not slur our
gratitude, and foiget our duties in our joys.
" And I want to see our little home," she said,
to make the best of it ; " the house that is to be
all our own ; where I shall keep you in order.
Kit, and make you as happy as the day is long."
So with many a backward glance, we left
that bower of bliss, and returned to the world
170 KIT AND KITTY.
of work and action. And when we found wliat
had been done, to welcome and to please us,
we could not help confessing that our virtue
was well rewarded. For Honeysuckle Cottage
looked as bright and fresh as sunrise, and the
first half of May is not the time to find much
fault with nature. The earth w^as damp and
clammy yet, in places where the wind and sun
could not get fairly into' it; and the Spring-
was late and shivered still among the gaps it
had to stop. For one might look through a
big tree yet, and see a lamp in the road beyond,
it ; and many of those that were being scarfed,
wore spangles rather than patins. And people,
who pay little heed, might stop in doubt^ — if
thev stopped at all^and wonder if what they
saw coming out might prove in the end to be
a blossom or a leaf.
In our little house I had the bud, the blossom,
and the fruit combined. The bud of youth
scarce come to prime, the blossom of fair
womanhood, and the fruit of sweet and golden
peace, not sleepy, but sprightly flavoured. It
was a fair view from the window, but inside
ten times as fair ; without the chance of adverse
weather nipping hope and bright content.
An ancient writer (whom I had just been
UNDER THE GARDEN WALL. 171
scholar enoiigli to understand, when he is easy,
ill his native toni^ue) assures us that {his perfect
state is never long allowed by Heaven. Ac-
cording to him, and others whom he considers
wiser than liiniself, all the Powers that govern
man are stung with envy, when they see him
happier tlian he ought to be. Generally they
take good care to have no occasion for this
grudge; but when, by any slip of theirs, a
mortal has attained such pitch of comf(jrt and
prosperity, there is no peace in Olympus, till
this robber of deHo:ht is crushed. And the
more he has flourished and rejoiced, the deeper
shall his misery be.
Having only thirty shillings a week, without
counting our presents which had been put by,
and paying five and sixpence out of that for the
rent and rates of our small Paradise, we scarcely
can have affronted Heaven by any gorgeous
insolence. And without daring to impugn the
wisdom of true philosophers, I venture still to
hold by that which we find in larger and
nobler Writ, that when the Heavenly Power
stoops to cut off our brief liappiness, it is to
make it more abiding, where there is no brevity.
But we did not thiidc of such things then ;
and who would be sad enough to say that we
172 KIT AND KITTY.
were bound to do so ? Care would come quite
soon enough, we did not care to beckon him.
He must have been a doleful wight, and born
with black crape round his eyes, who could
have looked at my merry Kitty, without catch-
ing her bright smile. In the morning when
I went to work, I carried it with me like a
charm, and whenever I came back at night,
it put my memory to the blush.
For we had settled with one accord, that until
I had overtaken the large arrears of work which
had lapsed behind through my long illness and
absence, there should be no time lost b}'" any
return for early dinner. And this was better for
my wife too, inasmuch as she had only Polly
Tompkins to assist her, the eldest daughter
of Selsey Bill, a very clean and tidy girl, but
of small experience in cookery. I was busy
at a long peach-wall, not the red-brick one, but
further down, and the trees being large and
sadly out of order, patient as well as skilfnl
hands were required urgently. There was a
very fine crop yet unthinned, feeble wood to
be removed, robber shoots to be docked or
tamed, green-fly to be dipped or dusted, and
all the other crying needs of neglected trees
to be made good. And Kitty used to appear
UNDER THE GARDEN WALL. 173
exactly as the old church clock struck one,
with a hasket of bread and meat, a pint of ale,
and a pipe filled by her own fair hands, which
she used to light for me and then trip home,
singing merrily among the trees, to see to the
business of the afternoon.
Dare anybody tell me that a wife like this
would leave her dear husband of her own
accord, without a word, without a letter, leave
him to wonder, and mourn, and rage, and
despair of his own life and hers ? Yet this is
what all the world believed, and impressed
upon me, till my spirit failed.
" Now this is all very fine," exclaimed my
Uncle, as he came round the corner of the wall
one day, and caught me in the very act of
hugging Kitty, as she was preparing to light
my pipe. She was looking up and laughing,
and pretending to pull my hair, when the
deepening of her blush showed that an enemy
was nigh ; " this is all very fine ; but how long
will it last ? How many quarrels have you
had ali-eady ? I suppose you are making up
one of theiu now."
" Uncle Corny, you are a disgrace," cried
Kitty, " a disgrace to the name of humanity.
Mayn't I even whisper in my husband's e«r,
17-4 KIT AND KITTY.
■without being accused of quarrelling ? We have
never had a single word. Have we, Kit ? "
" Then perhaps you will now. Here's a
telegram for you. I was going to send Kit
home with it. But as you are so uncommonly
close together, why, it saves the trouble. Hope
some of your enemies are dead, my dear."
" Hush ! Don't be so wicked ; " she said, as
she handed it to me, and 1 opened it with my
pruning-knife, and held it for her to read first.
But this required our united efforts, for it was
badly written, as so often happens, and some
of the words were run together. At last we
made it out as follows : —
" Spoke All Kites off Scilly May 7th. Captain
Fairsbort desires love and best wishes to his
daughter. Will be away two years perhaps.
From Jenkins, s.s. IliOernia, Falmouth."
''All Kites!'' said my Uncle, who had read
some of the Greorgics, as rendered by Drydeii
with lofty looseness, but never a line of Horace;
" what a name for a ship, if it is a ship ! Kitty,
my dear, is that the proper word ? "
" No, Uncle Corny, it should be Archytas.
I am not sure who he was, but rather think
that he must have been a king of Sparta."
" I know who he was," I said, to show how
UNDER THE GARDEN WALL. 175
miicli I had learned at Hampton, though T
never was much of a hand at Horace, and had
only found this out in tlie dictionary ; " a great
man of science, who measured the seas, and the
sand, and all that, but could not get to heaven,
because nobody would throw a pinch of dust
upon Ijis body. And he lay npon the shore,
imploring somebody to do it."
" If he could call out, he could have done it for
himself," replied my Uncle, who was not poeti-
cal. " Serve him right, at any rate, for having
such a name. But I hope that your father
won't do that, my dear."
" I think it was very kind of him, when he
could not help going, and was far away at sea,
to get this kind captain of a ship they met, if
we understand it properly, to send me this
farewell message from the deep. And it makes
my mind ever so much more comfortable,
because I shall have another message by and
by, I dare say. If he meets one ship he must
meet others ; and 1 shall always have a good
idea where he is, and have my mind relieved,
when there has been a stormy night. Thank
you, Uncle Corny, you have brought me pleasant
news. Kit, it is high time for you to go on
with your wall."
176 KIT AND KITTY.
In this sort of way, by makinf^ tlic best of
everything, and thanking everybody, even if
they did not mean to do her any good, she
estabhshed in » week a sweet dominion, not
over us, but within us. My Uncle, though lie
liked to have his little cut at ber — for old men
treat young ladies as chicks to be carved — got
into the habit of coming up every night of his
life "to have his pipe at Honeysuckle Cottage.
It may seem very ungrateful of me, and I now
feel ashamed when I think of it, but after being
hard at work all day, and having a bit of cold
duck under the wall, I thought that I might
have been allowed when I came home to tell
my dear wife all my thoughts about her, and
how many times I had hammered my thumb-
nail through that. But there Uncle Corny sat,
carrying on, as if I liad cut off my tongue with
my pruning-knife !
Kitty used to laugh, and ask me who was
jealous now. But I answered, with good
reason, that the case was widely different. Miss
Sally Chalker never crossed her legs, and sat
with a long pipe blowing over a supper-table,
neither did she go on talking, as if I were
nobody ; but rather put me foremost, even
when Kitty herself was present, and asked
UNDER THE GARDEN WALL. 177
what mj opinion was, before she gave her own
almost.
However I made the best of my Uncle's
conduct at our cottage ; for it was not only my
duty, but my important interest to do so.
What was to become of us if Uncle Corny (who
might be called a huffy man, and stuck to a
huff, whenever he contracted it) should take it
into his head that I was not what he used to
take me for ? I knew that he was full of truth
and justice, according to his own view of them ;
but if anything went against his liking, so did
truth and justice. So I had to sink my opinions
often, even when they agreed with his, for he
never liked to have them put into any other
language than his own. Kitty was clever
enough to see this, and she always praised me
afterwards ; but it went against one's sense of
right, that she might say exactly what I had
said, and from her lips it became true wisdom,
when it had been simple silliness from mine.
But Kitty smiled at him, and laughed at me,
and went into his heart more deeply every time
she filled his pipe.
Then a new anxiety arose, and Uncle Corny
had more than he could do to lay down the law
for his own affairs. The wind went into the
VOL. U. N
178 KIT AND KITTY.
east, with a hard blue sky, and not a cloud in
it. We had passed the date of the " icy
Saints," as they are called in Germany, when
a cold wave of air is said to flow over hundreds
of leagues of smiling land, and smite it all into
one dark frown. If I can remember, without
an Almanac, that date is about the seventh of
May ; but I have never found it quite so
punctual here ; and according to my observa-
tion, the bloom of England hovers in nightly
peril, from the middle of April to the very end
of May. It is one of the many sad things we
meet, but can only fold our hands and watch,
that for nearly six weeks of the year, and in
early seasons even more, through all our level
Southern lands, the fruit-crop trembles on the
hazard of a single night's caprice. The bright
sun and the lovely day delude the folk who
know no better ; these are the very things that
lead to the starry night, and the quiet cold, and
the white sheet over the grass at five a.m., and
the black death following. The barren Grrower
walks between his rows of wounded blossom ;
there is little harm to be seen at first, some of
the petals are as fair as ever, others are just
tipped with brown ; and perhaps his wife runs
up and says — " Oh, you need not be in a fright,
UNDER THE GARDEN WALL 179
my dear ; why, they all look as well as
ever."
But he, with deeper wisdom, and the smile
of prophetic silence, pulls out his budding-knife,
and nips the fairest truss he can find of bloom.
Then he lays it in his palm, and haply with
keen edge bisects the pips. A keener edge has
been there before him ; a little black line passes
up from the baby stalk to the pistil. The ovary
is dead and shrunken, though the anthers still
may be tipped with pink. Never shall a fruit
grow there, to swell and stripe itself with sun,
to flood a plate with sprightl}^ juice, and in its
dissolution hear some sweet voice say — " Oh, I
never did taste such a lovely pear ! "
All these horrors threatened now, in spite of
the lateness of the Spring, In a forward Spring,
they more than threaten, they come down and
smash everything. But being now so late, we
began to have some confidence, misplaced as it
might be, in the meaning of the sky. And now
for the wind to go back to the east (after living
there so many months, that it ought to be
downright sick of it), and the sun to go down
red and clear, like a well-grown turnip-radish,
and the stars to come out small and sharp like
a lot of glaziers' diamonds, and the mercury in
180 KIT AND KITTY.
the thermometer to drop, as if the bulb had
been tapped about six o'clock, and scarcely a
breath of wind to stir the fans of radiation —
it was more than enough to make any Grower
fetch a groan at the day when himself was
grown.
But my Uncle was not of the groaning order,
neither did he even hang himself; as one of
our very best neighbours did, when he saw
his thermometer at twenty-two degrees, one
radiant May morning ; but his wife, who could
enter into his feelings, cut him down with a
gooseberry-knife, and enabled him to grow out
of it. My Uncle used to read the G-ardening
papers ; which always bloom with fine advice ;
and one of them had lately been telling largely
how, in Continental vineyards, these cold freaks
of heaven are met by the sacrificial smoke of
earth. To wit, a hundred pyres are raised
of the rakings and refuse of the long Yine-
alleys, and ready for kindling on the frosty
verge. Then a wisp of lighted straw is applied
to each, when the sparkling shafts of frost
impend, and a genial smoke is wafted through,
and Sagittarius has his eyes obscured. I told
my Uncle that this was rubbish, at least as
regarded our level lands ; though it might be
UNDER THE GARDEN WALL. 181
of service upon a hillside. That if there were
wind enough to spread the smoke, there must
also be enough to prevent the hoar-frost, w4iich
alone need be feared at this season. But he
told me to stick to what I understood ; for these
scientific things were beyond me, and my
business was to tend the fires.
But in spite of all this brave talk, he was
afraid of casting a slur upon his old experience
by a new experiment. For the British work-
man disdains new ideas, and there was not a
man upon our place but w^ould say that the
Governor was turned cranky, if he got any
inkling of this strange scheme.
" I shall have all the stuff put there," said
Uncle Corny, " ready for lighting, when they
are gone. Those thick-heads will never suspect
that I want to do anything more than burn up
the weeds, as we generally do at this time
of y^ar. Then as soon as we see the danger
coming, you and I will go out and attend to it,
my boy. Not that I place any great faith in
it, although it seems very sensible, to those
w^ho understand the principles, whicn young
fellows cannot be supposed to do. At any rate,
I mean to try it. It can do no harm, if it does
no good. You need not say another word ;
182 KIT AND KITTY.
but do just what I tell you. I wasn't born
yesterday, as you ought to know by this time."
I knew that well ; for it takes many years to
root a man into such obstinacy. As a rule, I
was much more inclined to give fair trial to
anything new than he was, and much more
ready to risk money on it. But this would
cost nothing, except a little work, and that I
could not grudge him. So I told my dear wife
not to be uneasy, if I did not come home till
after dark some night, for our doings depended
of course upon the weather ; and the quarter of
young pear-trees, which my Uncle meant to
smoke, was the furthest part almost of all the
premises from Honeysuckle Cottage. Kitty
smiled, and said she would come down and see
it, and roast a potato or two for our supper,
and we would go home together, when the
work was done, and make Uncle Corny come
with us. Alas, how differently it all turned
out!
( 183 )
CHAPTER XIII.
FROST m MAY.
It was on Wednesday, the fifteenth of May, as
fine a day as ever shone from heaven, that my
Uncle Corny came up to our cottage, soon after
we had finished breakfast. I had done my two
lioiirs of early work, according to agreement,
and was ready to start for the long day now,
and do my best among the trees, until it should
be " blind-man's holiday." It had been arranged
between my wife and rae that I was not t(^
expect her with ray noonday meal, but should
carry it with me, because she was to be busy
at home with a grand turn-out. We had now
been home from our bridal trip, for ten days of
bliss and perfect peace, and Kitty had declared
that it was high time to give our little rooms a
thorough cleaning. So far as I could see, they
might go another month as they were, and be
all the better for it : but in all such matters
184 KIT AND KITTY.
the wife is supreme, and the wise man never
attempts to gainsay, but only hopes to find some
of his projDerty surviving. I had always been
most particular about scraping my shoes and
then rubbing them on the mat, not as some men
do, like a dog's feet scratching, but attending to
the welting, and the heels, and toes, until they
were as clean as a dinner-plate. This trifle I
mention, because some women said that we had
a misunderstanding about the mud I brought in.
Now as Kitty had declared that there must
be a turn-out, for she was wonderfully fond
already of our little home, I had never even
asked whether it would not do next week — as
many men do, and get a sharp reply — but, feel-
ing quite certain that she must know best, made
up my mind accordingly. Only I suggested
that she ought to have Mrs. Tompkins in to
help her, instead of her daugliter, our Polly,
who was as nice a girl as could be, but scarcely
knew the door-knocker from the boiler-tap. I
suspect (perhaps baselv) that my darling was
afraid that she would have to play second fiddle,
if Mrs. Tompkins came ; but be that as it may,
she would not have her; and simply asked,
" How much did I give you back on Monday,
dear ? " The sum had been ninepence half-
FEOST IN MAY. 185
penny, a handsome residue of tlie fifteen shillings,
which under her own scheme of finance, she had
drawn from our revenue for the week's con-
sumption. I had said that she ought to take a
pound at least, but she stuck to her figure, and
would have shown a balance even more con-
siderable, if Uncle Corny had not dropped in
with such geniality for supper. "Your frugality
is beyond belief," said I.
" Halloa I " cried Uncle Corny, as he came
in after breakfast, without even scraping his
boots, and carrying a snckering iron, which he
poked into a rose — or at least we had determined
that it must be a rose — of our new and artistic
paper — " signs of it already ! I expected it last
week. Going to have a turn-out, and knock
everything to pieces."
" But we don't carry long iron hoes ; " an-
swered Kitty, pointing to the rose which he had
suckered off the wall ; and he laughed and shook
hands, and said, " I had better hold my tongue."
I quite agreed in this, for he always got the
worst of it, when he attempted to make light of
Kitty ; she never said anything rude, but con-
trived to roll him up in his own rudeness. And
perhaps it was the liberty of saying what she
pleased, after so many years of ssnubbing — for
186 KIT AND KITTY.
the freedom of their voice must be fresh air to
women — which had now set her up in a liveli-
ness of health, such as no one had ever seen her
show before. For instance, she had always had
a soft clear col(jur, not to be quenched by her
step-mother's slaps, nor even by anxiety about
her own Kit; but now, ever since she had
married me, there was a richness of bloom on
her cheeks, and a delicate gloss you might
almost call it, such as may be seen in a Tea rose
only, when it has been thoroughly well managed.
And now she was wearing her pink chintz
wrapper, which showed the perfection of her
form, with little sprigs of flowers climbing up
it, just as if they vied with one another, for the
honour and delight of clinging closer into her.
I thought that I had never seen her look so
lovely ; and she knew what I thought, and her
soft eyes sparkled.
" Can't stop while you look at one another ;
should have to stop all day, if it came to that ; "
Uncle Corny was crisp in his style, this morn-
ing, because of the frost he expected ; " now,
Mrs. Kit, don't expect him, till you see him.
He will have to keep the fires up, till ten
o'clock, for all I know ; and Tabby will have
something good for supper at my place. If you
FROST IN MAY. 187
can come too, it will be all the better ; but after
all this kick-up of dust, you will be tired. I
never can understand why women are always
dusting; they only make more."
" We are not going dusting ; that shows how
little you know about it, Uncle Corny," my
Kitty replied with proper spirit ; " we are going
to have a fine good cleaning, such as you give
your wall-trees with the engine. You insist
upon keeping your trees clean ; but you don't
care how dirty your boards are."
" Boards don't grow," my Uncle replied, as if
that shut her up altogether.
" Yes, they grow dirty," she answered in
his own short style ; and he only said, " Come
along, Kit."
But he turned back, and kissed her ; for he
loved her dearly. And both he and I were
glad of it, when we talked about it afterwards.
Then, as he started with his swinging walk,
for he was proud of his flat back and sound
joints, my dear wife came to the door, and
threw her round white arms about my neck.
She had turned up her sleeves, to show the
earnest purpose in her figure, and her scolloped
apron, trimmed with pink, came nestling into
my waistcoat.
188 KIT AND KITTY.
" We have never been apart so long, my pet,
since our wedding-day," she whispered, and her
eyes looked wistful ; " don't expect me down
there now ; for I don't think that he wants me
much. And I shall have something ready for
you, and your new pipe filled, my dear, the one
I gave you at Baycliff. I shall be lonely, I dare
say ; but I shall have the clock to tell me when
you are certain to be home again. And it is
high time for us to learn to do without one
another."
People talk of presentiments, as if nothing
could happen without them. I only know that
I had none ; but it almost seemed as if she had
some, being of a quicker mind than I. And I
was glad for many a long day that I kissed her
with true tenderness, and looking back caught
one sweet smile from the corner where the
white lilac stood.
All that day, I was hard at work, attending
to what I had in hand, with enough of mind to
do it well, or at least as well as in me lay. And
these things, when they suit the nature, both
enlarge and purify it ; so that a man who takes
delight in all these little turns of life, although
he may be tried and harassed by the pest of
plaguesome insects, and the shifts of weather,
FROST IX MAY. 189
yet shall do his own heart good, by doing good
to what he loves. Neither shall he find himself
in the humour to believe half the evil that he
hears of his old friends ; or even to be sure, when
he goes to his letter-box, that the bill which he
finds there a month after he has paid it, may
not have been sent in again by pure mistake.
" How you are mooning ! " said my Uncle
Corny, who often pretended to be rougher than
he was ; " that bottom branch should be at least
three inches lower. And do you call that
leader straight ? Why, I call it a ram's horn.
How often must I tell you, that to make sure of
your work, you must step back, and see how it
looks across the border ? And here's a great
batch of scale left to hatch at its leisure. A
pretty wife spoiled the best gardener I ever
knew. You have been thinking of Kitty, ail
the blessed day, I see. But put away your
nail-bag, and let the net down from the coping.
What do you suppose the thermometer is now? ''
" Well, perhaps about forty," I replied,
looking round, for the sun was gone down in
a rich red sky, and the air was very shrewd,
and my fingers getting cold.
" Thirty-six already, and will be thirty very
soon ; and twenty-two at four o'clock, as sure
190 KIT AND KITTY.
as I'm a sinner. If we only pull tliroug"!! this,
we shall be all rio^ht. There's a chan2:e of
weather coming within twenty-four hours.
Come and have a glass of ale ; and then we'll
go and do the bonfires. When we have done,
Tabby will give us a hot chop, and then you
will be home, before Kitty breaks her heart."
I knew that our bloom, which was now
beyond its prime, had escaped very narrowly the
night before, and would be in still greater peril
to-night ; for these frosts always strengthen,
until there comes a change. So while he set
off with his five-tined fork, I ran to the house
for my glass of beer (which I really wanted
after that long day), and another box of matches,
for he thought that his were damp. And when
Mrs. Tapscott handed me the ale, she asked in
a tone which made me feel uncomfortable —
" Have 'e got the gearden door locked vast ? "
" What garden door do you mean ? " I in-
quired. " There are two gates, and there are
three doors, Tabby. And what makes you ask,
in that ominous voice ? "
" Dun'now what hominous manes," she replied ;
" but I knows what door I manes, and so ought
you. Old lead-coloured door, to the back of
your ouze."
FROST IN MAY. 191
" Well, I suppose it must be locked. It
always is. None of our men go that way, you
know. But what makes you put such a question
to-night ? "
"Dun'now, no more than the dead," she
answered, " only come into my head, as such
things will. Heer'd zummat down town, as zet
me a-thinking. You zee her be locked, when
you goes home."
Before I could ask her what she had heard,
the sound of my Uncle's impatient shout came
through the still air ; and I hurried off to help
him, for he had more than he could well do by
himself.
It was deep dusk now, and the night was
falling fast. Venus, on duty as the evening
star, shone with unusual size and sparkle, above
the faint gleam which had succeeded the yellow
glow after the red sundown. And a little
white vapour was rising here and there, where
the low ground leaned into the gentle slope ;
but there was not enough of air on the move to
draw the slow mist into lines, or even to breathe
it into any sliape at all.
" Now look sharp ! " exclaimed Uncle Corny,
who was not at all concerned with Nature's
doings, except as they concerned his pocket.
192 KIT AND KITTY.
" I understand things ; and you don't. You
will see, if you know north from south, that
I have arranged all this in a most scientific
manner. Here are fifty piles on the eastern
side of all these Bonlewin, and fifty on the
north. The wind must be either north or east,
when it freezes. We light up, according to
the direction of the wind."
He wetted one finger at his lips, and held it
up according to some old woman's nostrum for
discovering what way the wind blows. And
I said — " But supposing there is no wind at all ? "
" Very well. It doesn't matter what way it
is ; " he had made up his mind, and meant to
have it out. " You are full of objections,
because you know nothing. There is no cure
for that, but to do as you are told. You begin
at that corner, and let the air go through. I
shall take this line, and see who does it best."
" You could never have smoked that Old
Arkerate out, in this sort of weather," I said ;
and he laughed, as he always did, when that
triumph was recalled.
*'I heard something about him, the other
day," he shouted, as he was going down the
row of piles ; " but I can't stop to tell you now.
Remind me at supper."
FROST IN MAY. 193
In spite of all that we botli could do, and of
all his long preparations, not a whiff of smoke
would go near the trees, but all went up as
straight as the trees themselves. And I
laughed very heartily — the last hearty laugh I
was to enjoy for many a day, at the excuses Uncle
Corny made for the fume that would only come
into his mouth. But he would not confess him-
self beaten ; too genuine a Briton was he for
that. He stamped about, and used strong
words, and even strove with his broad-flapped
hat, to waft the smoke, which was as stubborn
as himself, into the track that it should take ;
till I told him that he was like the wise man of
Gotham, who shovelled the sunshine into his
barn. Then he laughed, and said —
" Well, it will be all right, by and by. As the
frost draws along, this blessed smoke must come
with it. You never understand the true prin-
ciples of things. Just come in and have some
supper, and we will have another look at it.
You must never expect a thing to work at first.
Other people have done it, and I mean to do it.
It is nothing but downright obstinacy. Ah
there, it begins to go right already ! Ail it
wants is a little common sense and patience."
" I shall go home first," I said, " and see that
VOL. II.
194 KIT AND KITTY.
all is right. Kitty has got a bit for rae to eat ;
and perliaps she will come down with me, in
about an hour's time, if she is not too tired.
You go, and have your supper, Uncle."
With this, I set off, having long been uneasy,
partly perhaps at what Tabby had said, and
partly at having been so long from home. But
I whistled a tune, and went cheerfully along,
for the night was beautiful, and the trees, still
piled with blossom, rose against the starry sky,
like cones of snow.
Our door was wide open, which surprised me
just a little, for my wife was particular about
that. Then I went into the passage, and called
■ — " Kitty, Kitty ! " but heard no sweet voice
say, " Yes, dear ! " Neither did any form more
sweet than words of kindest greeting come.
And my step rang througli the passage with
that hollow sound which an empty house seems
to feel along every wall. With a terrible thump-
ing in my breast, I turned into our little
parlour, and struck against a straggling chair.
There was no light burning, the window was
wide open, the curtains undrawn, the room felt
like a well, and the faint light from the sky
upon the table showed that no su|)per-cloth was
laid. Shouting for Kitty, in a voice of fear
FEOST IN MAY. 195
which startled myself, I groped my way to the
mantel-piece where the matches stood. They
were in a little ornament which we had brought
from Baycliff ; my trembling hand upset it, and
they fell upon the rug. I picked up half a
dozen, I struck them anyhow on the grate, and
lit a small wax candle which we had considered
rather grand. The room was in good order,
there was nothing to tell anything ; but I knew
that it had not been occupied for hours.
" She is gone," I exclaimed, though with no
one to hear me ; " my Kitty is gone. She is
gone for ever."
I lit the fellow-candle, and left it burning
on the table, while I hurried to the kitchen,
though I knew it was in vain. The kitchen
fireplace was gray with cold ashes ; there was
not a knife and fork nor a plate set out, and
the white deal table had no cooking-cloth upon
it. Then I gave up calling " Kitty," as I had
been doing all along, till I ran upstairs to our
pretty bedroom ; and there I called for her once
more. When there came no answer, I fell upon
the bed, and wondered whether I was mad.
All my wits must have left me in the bitter-
ness of woe. I seemed even to accept it as a
thing to be expected, not to want to know the
196 KIT AND KITTY.
reason, but to take it like death. Who I was,
I knew not for the time, nor tried to think ;
but lay as in a blank of all things, only conscious
of a misery I could not strive against. I did
not even pray to die ; for it seemed to make no
difference.
Then up I got, with some sudden change,
and the ring of my heel on the floor, as I struck
it without measuring distance, now echoed in
my brain ; and anger sent anguish to the right-
about. " This is the enemy's work," I cried ;
" it serves me right for not wringing their
necks, for their cursed tricks at Hounslow. So
help me God, who has made them and me, I
will send them to Him, this time."
My strength was come back, and the vigour
of my limbs, and the iron control of every
nerve. Until the sense of wrong had touched
me, I was but a puling fool. I had felt that
all my life was gone, with her who was the
spring of it, and that nothing lay before me,
but to put up my legs and moan. But praised
be the Lord, who has given us that vivid sense
of justice which of all His gifts is noblest, here I
stood, a man again ; ready to fight the Devil,
and my brethren who are full of him.
( 197 )
CHAPTER Xiy.
COLD COMFORT.
Iisr the calm May night, I left my desolate
home, to learn the cause and meaning of its
desolation. Some men might have doubted
whether it was worth their while to trace the
dark steps of their own reproach. From what
I had seen even now, I knew that my wife had
left me of her own accord. There was not the
smallest sign of struggle, or disorder, any-
where ; nothing whatever to suggest that any
compulsion had been used, or even that any
stranger's foot had crossed our humble threshold.
Of this I should leurn more by daylight ; and I
took care not to slur the chance, by even tread-
ing the little path that led to the old door in
the wall. Tliere was a grass edging to that
path, betwixt it and a row of espalier apple
trees in full bloom now ; and along that grass I
made my way, with a bull's-eye lamp in ray
hand, as far as the leaden-coloured door, of which
198 KIT AND KITTY.
old Tabby bad asked a few bours a.i^o, Witb-
out stepping in front of tbat door, I tbrew tbe
strong b'gbt upon it, and perceived at once tbat
it bad been opened recently. It was now un-
bolted and unlocked, and kept sbut only by tbe
old tbumb-latcb. This I lifted, and stepped
outside, keeping close to tbe post, so as not to
meddle witb any footprints, witbin or witbout.
Tben I cast my ligbt on tbe dust outside, for
tbe weatber bad lately been quite dry ; and
tbere I saw distinctly tbe impress of my
darling's foot. I could swear to it among ten
thousand, witb its delicate springy curves ;
for ber feet in tbeir boots bad tbe sbapely arcb
and rise of a small ox-tongue ; and ladies did
not wear peg-beels tben, to make flat feet seem
vaulted.
By tbe side of tbat comely footprint were
tbe marks of a coarser and commonplace sboe,
sbort and square, and as wide as it was long,
probably tbe sign pedal of a clod-bopping
country boy, or lad. Of tliese tbere were some
half-dozen, as if tbe boy bad stamped about as
be entered, and repeated the process, when be
returned. " I will examine tbese carefully,
when tbe sun is up," thought I ; "I must see to
other matters now."
COLD COMFORT. 199
So I hurried at once, by the shortest track, to
the lower corner of the gardens, where my
Uncle Corny lived. Tabby Tapscott was gone
home, and the house all dark and fast asleep,
for I must have lost an hour in my agony on
the bed, besides all the other time wasted. At
last my thunderous knocks disturbed even the
sound sleep of the Grower; and he flung up a
window, and looked out, with a nightcap over
his frizz of white hair.
"It is no time for anger," I replied to his hot
exclamations ; " come, and let me in. I want
your advice. I am ruined."
My Uncle was thoroughly good at heart ;
when he came down with a light, and saw the
ghost he had let in, he was very little better
than his visitor. He shook, as if old age were
come upon him suddenly, while I tried to tell
my tale.
" My Kitty gone, and gone of her own
accord ! " he cried, as if he, and not I, had lost
her. " Man, you must be mad. Are you
walking in your sleep ? "
" God send that I may be ! But when shall
I awake ? "
The old man's distress, and his trembling
anguish, let loose all the floods of mine ; I fell
200 KIT AND KITTY.
against the wall, where he hung his hats and
saws, and sobbed like a woman who has lost
her only child.
" Come, come," he said ; " we shall both be
ashamed of this. Your darling is not dead, my
boy; but only lured away by some d d trick.
Don't blame yourself, or her. I will answer
for her, sooner than I would for myself in this
bad world. You shall have her back again,
Kit ; you shall have her back again. There is
a God, who never lets us perish, while we stick
to Him,"
" I have not stuck to Him. I have stuck to
her." The truth of my words came upon me
like a flash. It was the first time I had even
thoufrht of this.
" Never mind. He knows ; and He meant it
so," my Uncle replied with some theology of
his own ; " no man will be punished for doing
what the Bible orders. You'll see, my dear
boy, it will all come right. You will live to
laugh at this infernal trick. And I hope to the
Lord, that I shall be alive to grin with you.
Cheer up, old fellow. What would your Kitty
think, to see you knock under to a bit of rigma-
role ? You must keep up your spirits for poor
Kitty's sake."
COLD COMFOET. 201
To see an old man show more pluck than a
young one, and to take in a little of his fine
faith, set me on my pins again, more than any
one would helieve ; and I followed him into his
kitchen, where the remnants of the fire were not
quite dead.
" Now blow it up, Kit," he said ; " and put
a bit of wood in. Tabby always leaves it in
this cupboard. Ah, that was a fine tree, that
old Jargonel ! It lived on its bark, I believe,
for about a score of years, and you helped to
split it up, when you were courting Kitty. You
shall court her again, my boy, and have another
honeymoon, as they've cut yours short in this
confounded way. Now, make a good fire,
while I put my breeches on. You look like a
ghost, that has never had a bit to eat. And I
don't suppose you have touched a morsel to
speak of, since breakfast. ' Never say die ' is
my motto, Kit. We'll be at tlie Police-ofiSce,
by three o'clock. We can do nothing till then,
you know."
Even as he spoke, his ancient cuckoo sang
out one o'clock ; and I obeyed his orders, and
even found a little comfort in the thought, that
Kitty would have smiled to see my clumsy
efforts ; for she was very knowing about making
202 KIT AND KITTY.
fires up. When I had contrived to eat a bit of
something, which my Uncle warmed up for me,
though I never knew what it was, he gave me
a glass of old ale, and took a drop himself; and
we talked of our calamity, until it was time to
go. He asked me whether anything within the
last few days could be called to mind that bore
at all upon this sudden mystery. Whether any
jarring words, however little thought of, had
passed between my wife and me, as is sometimes
the case, even when a couple are all in all to
one another. But I could remember none, nor
any approach to such a thing ; and I had never
seen a frown upon my darling's forehead.
Then he told me what he had heard about
his former tenant, Harker, the man whom he
ejected by a fumigating process, much more
successful than the ejectment of the frost. It
was nothing more than this, and even this per-
haps a piece of idle village gossip. Old
Arkerate had taken much amiss his tardy ex-
pulsion, for he meant to live rent-free through
winter, and had been heard to say that he
would be — something anticipatory perhaps of
his final doom — if that blessed young couple
should be in his house very long. For he
knew a trick worth two of that. And if he
COLD COMFORT. 203
had been smoked out, hang them, they should
be burned out.
I agreed with my Uncle that such stuff as
this was not worth repeating, especially as
nothing of the kind had come to pa^s ; and yet
again it appeared suspicious that the door
through which my dear wife had vanished
should be the very one which old Harker had
used for his special entrance and exit ; while he
had even been jealous of any attempt on the
part of the owners to use it. But my Uncle
and myself were uncommonly poor hands at
anything akin to spying. Our rule had always
been to accept small fibs (such as every man
receives by the dozen daily) without passing
them through a fine sieve ; which if any man
does, he will have little time for any other
employment.
" Take this big stick, Kit ; I brought it for
the purpose," said my Uncle, when I had
knocked a dozen times in vain, at the door of
Sergeant Biggs, our head policeman ; " it is the
toughest bit of stuff I have ever handled. It
will go through the panel of the door, before it
breaks. Don't be afraid, my boy ; take both
hands ; but let me get out of the way, before
you swing it. Ah, that ought to bring him
204 KIT AND KITTY.
out. But we must make allowance for the
strength of his sleep, because he has such
practice at it, all day long."
Our police force at that time consisted of two
men, Sergeant Biggs the chief officer, and
Constable Turnover ; very good men both, and
highly popular. They were not paid by any
means according to their merits ; and we always
got up a Christmas-box for them, which put
them on their honour not to make a fuss for
nothing. It is wise of every place to keep its
policemen in good humour ; otherwise it gets
a shocking name, without deserving it.
"Coming, Master, coming. Don't you be in
such a hurry," we heard a very reasonable
voice reply at last. " Got one leg into these
here breeches, and can't get in the other, 'cos
they wasn't made for me. Ah, there goes that
blessed stair into my bad leg again ! They
promised to mend it, last Lady Day twelve-
month ; but mend it they won't, till I've got a
running sore. Now, gents both, what can I do
for you ? Always at the post of duty. That's
the motto of the Force. Why, bless me, if it
isn't Mr. Orchardson ! Any delinquents in
your garden, sir ? "
" Ever so much worse than that," replied my
COLD COMFOKT. 205
Uncle ; " Biggs, are you wide awake ? A
dreadful thing has happened. Where is Turn-
over ? We shall want you both at once."
" On duty, sir ; patrolling — unless he have
turned in. But he's very good for that, when
I looks after him. Which I do pretty sharp, as
he knows to his credit. A very active constable
is Turnover. But come inside, Mr. Orchardson.
Don't stand out in the cold, sir."
There was a streak of dawn among the trees
towards Hampton, and the white frost-fog had
rolled up from the river ; and I saw that a dark
cloud was gathering in the south. The change
that my Uncle had foretold was coming, even
sooner than he had expected it.
We went inside ; and Sergeant Biggs, "who
had a light, pulled on a coat, and sat down in
state before a railed desk, on which a square
book was lying. Then he turned ihe brass
cover off the ink, and squared his elbows.
" Now, sir, the particulars, if you please. We
must make entry, afore we does nothing. You
were quite right in coming to head-quarters,
Mr. Orchardson. Let me see ; May the four-
teenth, isn't it ? "
" No, Biggs, no. It is morning now ; and
yesterday was the fifteenth of May."
206 KIT AND KITTY.
" Quite right, sir. Here it is upon tlie
Standard. May IGth, 1861, 3.30 a.m. by
office clock. Information received from Cor-
nelius Orcbardson, of tbe Fruit-Gardens, Sun-
bury. Everything ready, sir. Please to go
ahead."
" Kit, you tell him. You know most about
it. Scratch out ' Cornelius ; ' and put ' Chris-
topher,' Biggs."
Sergeant Biggs did not like to disfigure his
book. However he was a most oblio'iiiii: man.
" Stay, sir, stay," he exclaimed : " I can do it
better and neater than that is. ' Cornelius
Orcbardson, of tlie Fruit-Gardens, Sunbury, and
his nephew Christopher Orcbardson.' That
meets the point exactly. Now then, gentlemen,
fire away. And I will reduce it into proper
form."
Chafing at all this rigmarole, which was
sending another good hour to waste, I poured
out my tale in a very few words, and had the
satisfaction of seeing at last an expression of
amazement gathering and deepening on the
large fat countenance of Sergeant Biggs.
" Why, this beats everything as was ever
done in Sunbury, since Squire Coldpepper's
daughter ran away ! And in the same family
COLD COMFORT. 207
too, as you might say ! How long ago was that ?
"Why, let me see." He was going to refer to
some books, and took off his horn spectacles
first to consider where they were.
" Come along, Biggs. No time for that,"
cried my Uncle impatiently ; " we want you to
come and examine the place at once. It was
useless for us to go up, till daylight. There
are footsteps for you to examine, and the doors."
" Now this here will be all over London,
afore the clock strikes twelve to-day. Ah, you
may stare, gentlemen; and we don't tell how
we do it. But such is our organization, and
things are brought to such perfection now ''
" Come along, Biggs. Why, it's pouring with
rain ! I knew the white frosts were sure to
bring it. But I did not expect it till the after-
noon. And it sounds like hail — shocking thing
for all my blossom."
" I'll be with you, Mr. Orchardson, in about
ten minutes. But I must put my toggery to
rights first, you see. Sergeant Biggs does not
think much of himself; but Sunbury does, and
it would stare to see him go on duty without any
waistcoat or stock, or even a pair of braces on.
By the by, gents, have you been to Tompkins'
house ? "
208 KIT AND KITTY.
This was about the first sensible thing he had
said : and I answered that we had not been
there yet ; but would go there at once, as it
was not far out of our course, and we would
rejohi him at the cottage. I had thought more
than once in the long hours of that night of
going to see the girl Polly, but was loth to
knock up a hard-working household for nothing,
and felt sure that Polly could throw no light
upon the matter : as she always left our cottage
about five in the afternoon.
And so it proved when we saw her now. For
she could only stare, and exclaim " Oh Lor' ! "
having most of her wits, which were not
very active, absorbed in hard work, and the
necessity of living. And the more I examined
her, the more nervous she became, fancying
that she was undergoing trial, and perhaps
likely to be hanged for the loss of her young
mistress.
" I never see nawbody take her away : nor
nawbody come anigh the house, all the time as
I were in it. Mother knows I didn't." This
she said over and over again.
" Nobody says that you did, Polly," I
answered as gently as possible ; " but did you
see anything to make you think, that your
COLD COMFORT. 209
mistress meant to go away, when you were
gone f
" I don'now what she was athinking of. She
never told me nort about it. No, I never see
nawbody take her away. It isn't fair, nor true,
to say so."
" But, my good child, nobody supposes that
you did. Nobody is blaming you in the least.
Nobody thinks that you saw her go away. But
can't you tell us whether you saw anything to
show that she was likely to go away ? "
" Yes, I saw a big black crow come flying
right over the roof about one o'clock ; and then
I knowed as some one was agoing, 'live or dead.
But I never told her, feared to frighten her.
Lord in heaven knows I didn't."
" And did you see anything else go by ? A
cat, or a dog, or a man, or a woman, or any-
thing else that did not usually come ? Or did
you hear any steps, anywhere near the house, or
see anything more than usual ? "
Polly shook her head, as if I was putting a
crushing weight of thought on the top of it.
And then she began to cry again, and her
mother came up to protect her. She had
cried when she heard that her mistress was
gone ; and she must not be allowed to cry
VOL. II. p
210 KIT AND KITTY.
again, or no one could tell what would come
of it.
" Sweetie, tell the whole truth now. Got no
need to be frightened. If perlice does come,
they can't do nothing at all to you, my dear.
Seventeen children have I had, and none ever
put thumb on the Bible."
Mrs. Tompkins did not mean that her family
failed to search the Scriptures, but that they had
never been involved in criminal proceedings ;
nay, not even as witnesses.
" Well then I think as I did see summat,"
replied Polly under this encouragement. I
would not have pressed her as I did, unless I
had felt pretty sure that she was keeping some-
thing back. " It worn't nothin' to speak of
much, nor yet to think upon, at the time."
" Well, out with it, deary, whatever it was.
All you have to do, is to speak the truth, and
leave them as can put two and two together, to
make out the meaning of it."
Thus adjured, Polly, after one more glance
to be sure that no policeman was coming, told
her tale. It was not very much, but it might
mean something.
" 'Twur about four o'clock, I believe, and all
the things was put back again after mucksing
COLD COMFORT. 211
out the rooms, when Missus said to me, 'You
run, Polly, and pick a little bit of chive down
the walk there. I don't want much,' slie says,
' but what there is must be good, and just
enough to cover a penny-piece, after I've
chopped it up and put it together. I wants to
have everything ready,' she says, 'just to make
a homily, when my husband comes home. I
have, got plenty of parsley in that cup,' she
says, ' but he always likes a little bit of chive, to
give it seasoning. And be sure you pick it
clean,' she says, ' and it mustn't be yellow at the
tip, or dirty, because if the grit gets in,' she
says, ' it's ever so mucb worse than having none
at all.' So I says, ' All right. Ma'am, I knows
where it is ; and you shall hav^e the best bit out
of all the row.' ' You're a good girl,' she says,
' don't be longer than you can help, and you
shall have a cup of tea, Polly, before you go
home, because you've worked very well to-day ;
nobody could 'a doed it better,' says she. Well,
I took a little punnet as was hanging in the
kitchen, not to make it hot in my hands, you
see, and I went along the grass by the goose-
berry bushes, — you knows the place I mean,
mother ; and there was the chives, all as green
as little leeks. As I was a-stooping over them,
212 KIT AND KITTY.
with my back up to the sky, all of a sudden I
heer'd a sort of creak like, as made me stand up
and look to know where it come from. And
then I seed the old door, as used to be bolted
always, opening just a little way, in towards
me, though I was a good bit off; and then the
brim of a hat come through, and 1 sings out,
* Who's there, please?' There wasn't no nose
or eyes a-coming through the door yet ; nor
yet any legs, so far as I could see ; but only
that there brim, like the brim of a soft hat ; and
I couldn't say for certain whether it were brown
or black. ' Nothing here to steal,' I says, for I
thought it wor some tramp ; and then the door
shut softly, and I was half a mind to go and
see, whether there was any one out in the lane.
But it all began to look so lonely like, and I
was ordered not to stop, and so I thought the
best thing was to go back, and tell the Missus.
But something came that drove it out of my
mind altogether. For when I got back to the
house she says, ' Don't you lose a minute, Polly,
that's a good girl. Run as far as Widow Cut-
thumb's, and fetch half a dozen eggs. I thought
I had four, and I have only got three,' she
says, ' and I can't make a homily for two people
of three eo-irs. And mv husband won't eat a
bit, unless I has some,' she says.
COLD COMFOET. 21.')
" So I was off quick stick to Widow Cut-
thumb's ; and there, outside the door, I seen that
Bat Osborne, the most owdacious boy in all
Sunbury. ' Halloa ! ' says he, ' Poll, you do
look stunnin'. Got a baker's roll a-risin', by
the way you be a-pantin' ! Grive us a lock of
your hair, again' the time when we gets old,'
he says. And afore I could give him a box on
his ear, out he spreads his fingers, some way
he must have learned — for I never could 'a
doed it myself, no, that I couldn't — and away
goes all my back-hair down over all my
shoulders, just the same as if it was Sunday
going on for three years back. That vexed
I were, I can assure you, Mr. Kit — well,
mother knows best how I put it up that very
same morning for the cleaning, and our Annie
to hold the black pins for me — but get at him I
couldn't, to give him one for himself. He were
half across the street, afore I could see out ; and
he hollered out some imperence as made all the
others grinny. But I'll have my change, afore
next Sunday week, I will.
" When I got back, ]\Ir. Kit, you may sup-
pose, all about the door and the hat-brim was
gone clean out of my mind, as if it never was
there ; and I come away home, without a word
214 KIT AND KITTY.
about it, and never thought of it nother, till I lay-
awake in bed and heered our own door creak,
when father went to spy the weather. But oh,
if I had only thought about it, Mr. Kit, perhaps
Missus mightn't never 'a been took off ! "
( 215 )
CHAPTER XV.
NONE,
At this beginning of my great trouble, I used
to be worried, more than common sense would
warrant, by tlie easy way in which other people
took my distress, even while I was among them.
If anything occurred to make them laugh, they
laughed with all their hearts at tliiiig>!, in which
I could perceive no joke at all. I dare say tliey
were right, and I was wrong ; but I felt that I
should not have laughed at all, if the tables
had been turned upon them, as I wished
they had been. That is to say, if they had
been in bitter grief, and I had been standing
outside to help them. For the policemen I
could make all allowance, because they must
get seasoned by their profession, even as the
lawyers do ; but it did seem a little bit unnatural
at first, that some men, to whom I would gladly
have lent my last shilling but one, if they had
216 KIT AND KITTY.
wanted it, should be ready to put their hands
into their pockets, not to feel if there was any-
thing there for my good, but to enable them to
enjoy a broad grin at leisure, if the least bit of
laughable nature turned up. But one thing I
will say for the women, there was scarcely so
much as a smile among them ; tliey could under-
stand what I had lost, and they knew (perhaps
from self-examination) that a good wife is not
to be got every day.
The heavy cloud had been pouring down rain
in volumes and hail in lines, when with Selsey
Bill, and Mrs. Bill, and Polly lagging after us
under a broken umbrella, my Uncle and myself
came to Honeysuckle Cottage, and found Ser-
geant Biggs and Constable Turnover, with their
oilskin capes running like a tiled roof, and their
faces full of discipline.
" Wouldn't go inside, gents, till you came ;
no warrant being out, and no instructions
received. Always gets into trouble, when we
acts on our own hook."
We led them inside, for there was broad day-
light now, and the cloud began to lift, and the
rain came down in single drops, instead of one
great sheet. As they stamped about, and shook
themselves in our little passage, scattering
NONE. 217
grimy wetness like a trundled mop, I wondered,
with a bitter pang, what Kitty would have
thought after all her neat work, if she could
only have seen this.
" Turnover, you come after me. We makes
this inspection together, mind. And what I
sees, you sees, and corroborates. Though it
ain't a case of murder, so far as we know yet,
we must keep our eyes open, the same as if it
was. Everything comes to us, and nothing-
comes amiss to them that does their duty."
This sentiment was much admired by Con-
stable Turnover ; and my Uncle whispered,
" Let them do exactly as they like, Kit. They
are a pair of fools ; but we need not tell them
so. We shall have them on our side, at any
rate. And if they don't do any good, they can
do no harm. Leave them entirely to their own
devices."
This quite agreed with my own view of the
matter. When a crime has been committed,
we call in the police, as in dangerous illness we
invoke a doctor, for the satisfaction of our
own minds, rather than from any hope of being
helped. And in the former case, we have this
advantage — the thing becomes widely spread,
and distant eyes are turned on it.
218 KIT AND KITTY.
" All in order, gents ; not a lock been forced,
nor a door broke open, so far as we can dis-
cover." Sero'eant Bio;2:3 was beatino; his hands
together, from the force of habit, as he came
to us in the kitchen, where we were sitting
drowsily. " Two windows open, and some rain
come in ; but no sign of entrance by them.
The young lady have gone of her own accord,
and left no sign for any one. Time of disap-
pearance not exactly known, you say, but some-
where between five and ten o'clock supposed.
Please give particulars of dress, height, and
complexion. We know the young lady well
enough, of course, but we like to bave those
things from relatives. And the dress is beyond
us ; ladies always are so changing. Mr. Kit
says her gray cloak is gone, and brown bonnet.
White chip hat hanging on the peg. Looks as
if she meant to go a goodish way. But not
much preparation for travelling. There was
a little black bag, sir, ^^ou said you could not
find. Very sorry to trouble you, sir, when you
are so down-hearted. But I must ask you just
to look into them drawers in the lady's bed-
room. And specially to see if any cash is
missing. Excuse me, sir, I meant no rude-
ness."
NONE. 219
For I had leaped up, and was ready to strike
him, at. the suggestion that my darling could
have robhed me.
" He is doing his duty, Kit ; don't be a fool ; "
cried my Uncle, as Biggs threw his arm up in
defence.
" Must give up this case, sir," said the
Sergeant, without anger; "unless you allows us
to conduct it our own way. We are bound to
know all that can throw a light upon it. And
nine times out of ten, when a woman^beg
pardon — a lady runs away from her husband
on the sudden, she collars all the cash, and all
the trinkets she can find. Don't mean to
insinuate for a moment that this young lady
done anything of the kind. But for all that,
I am bound to put the question ; and Mr.
Cornelius can see it, if you can't, sir."
" Very well ; I will go and see," I answered,
having sense enough to know that he was
right ; " and you can both come and see for
yourselves, if you like. Perhaps you won't
believe it, unless you do. At any rate, you
come, Uncle Cornv."
I ran up in haste to our little bedroom, as
pretty a room as one could wish to see, for its
cheerfulness, airiness, and fair view, between
220 KIT AND KITTY.
the clnstering climbers, of the broad winding^
river and the hills beyond, all to be seen either
over or amid a great waving depth of" white
and pink, where the snow of tlie pears put the
apples to the blush. Yery plainly furnished as
it was, our little room looked sweet, even in its
desolation, and as lively and delightful as the
bride wlio had adorned it. ^My Aunt Parslow
hnd given us a pretty chest of drawers, of real
bird's-eye maple-wood, which she had bought
at a sale somewhere ; and we kept all our
money, that was not at the Bank, in one of the
top drawers, which had a tolerable lock. Tliis
was the proper place for Kitty's purse and
mine ; although I never had one, so to speak — -
at least it w^as always empty. Whenever I had
any money, fit to spend, it was generally always
in my waistcoat-pocket ; and it never stopped
there long, if I came across anybody who
deserved it. But I never went out with too
much at a time ; for it is not safe to have
nothing left at home. The key was not in the
drawer, of course ; but I knew where Kitty kept
it, and there it was, as usual.
I could have wept now, if I might have made
sure of nobody coming after me, when I found
all the balance of this week's allowance for
KONE. 221
housekeeping uses in a twist of silver paper —
such as used to be common, but is seldom seen
now ; and my darling had not made much boot
upon the store, ever since last Saturday. For
our butcher, who wanted her to run up an
account (being in love with her, as everybody
was, although he had a wife and seven little
butchers rising), had made believe that he could
not stop to weigh the last half-leg of mutton he
sent up. Kitty had told me of this, and lamented,
while unwilling to appear distrustful of him.
For an honest tradesman dislikes that, though
he often has to brace up his mind to it,
I put this residue of our fifteen shillings into
one corner, as a sacred thing ; and then I went to
the brown metal box at the baclv of the drawer,
where we kept our main stock, with a dozen of
my wife's new handkerchiefs piled over it, to
delude all burglars. I had bought her a dozen,
at less than cost price, as the haberdasher vowed,
at Baycliff ; and we had been reluctant to be so
hard upon him ; but he said that he was selling
off, and we must have the benefit. And I lifted
them now with a miserable pang ; for my love
had kissed me, for tliis cheap but pretty present,
and she had marked them all with her owd
sweet hair.
222 KIT AND KITTY.
I have often lieen astonislied in my life, as
everybody must be, almost before his hair begins
to grow ; but mine (which was now in abundant
short curls) would have pushed off my hat, if I
had worn one, when the money-box came to my
eyes, half open, and as clean as a spade on a
Saturday niglit. Every bank-note was gone,
and every sovereign too, and even the four half-
sovereigns, which we had meant to spend first,
when we could not help it !
I have never loved money with much of my
heart, though we are bound to do as our neigh-
bours do ; and perhaps it had been a little
pleasure to me, to have more than I ever could
have dreamed of having, through the great
generosity of Aunt Parslow, and the timely
assistance of Captain Fairthorn. But now my
whole heart went down in a lump, and I scarcely
had any power of breath, as I fell once more
upon my widowed bed, and had no strength to
wrestle with the woe that lay upon me. That
my own wife, my own true wife, the heart of
my heart, and the life of my hfe, should have
run away from me, of her own accord, without
a word, without one good-bye, and carried off
all our money !
" Come, Kit, how much longer do you mean
NONE. 223
to be ? " ray Uncle's voice came up tlie stairs.
" Let him alone, Biggs. Perhaps he is crying.
Those young fellows never understand the
world. Some little thing comes round a corner
on them, and they give way, for want of season-
ing. He was wonderfully bound up in his Kitty.
And however it may look against her now, T
will stake my life that she deserved it. You
Peelers see all the worst of the world, and it
makes you look black at everything. I would
lay every penny I possess, which is very little
in these free-trade times, that he finds every
farthing of his money right. Though I have
often told him what a fool he was to keep so
much in his own house."
" He seems an uncommon time a-counting
of it." Sergeant Biggs spoke sceptically, and
retired to the kitchen ; for it did not matter
very much to him.
Getting no reply from me, my Uncle came
up slowly ; for a night out of bed tells upon the
stiff joints, when a man is getting on in years.
Then he marched up bravely, and laid one hand
upon my shoulder.
" Wliat are you about, Kit ? Breaking down,
old fellow ! You must not do that, with these
chaps in the house, or the Lord knows what a
224 KIT AND KITTY.
lot of lies will get about. Money all right, of
course. No doubt of that, my boy."
I could make no answer, but pointed to the
drawer, which was still pulled out to its full
extent. With a little smile, which expressed
as well as words — " What a fool you must be,
to keep your money there ! " he looked in, and
saw the empty cash-box, and turned as white
as his own pear-blossom. Then he took the
brown box in his thick right hand, and turned
it upside down, as if he could not trust his eyes.
" How much was there in it ? But perhaps
yon did not know ? Oh, Kit, Kit, is it come to
this at last ? "
He spoke as if I ought to have been robbed
by my own wife, a long time ago, and was
bound by the duty of a husband to expect it.
But my spirit rose, and I jumped up, and faced
him.
" Every farthing of it was her own," I said ;
" and she had a perfect right to take it. It is
part of tlie hundred pounds Aunt Parslowgave
her, on our — on her wedding-day. There was
forty-five pounds in that box ; and the other
fifty-five was invested according to your advice.
I would send her that also, if I knew her
address. It was all her own money ; you may
NONE. 225
ask Aunt Parslow. I have no right to a
farthing- of it."
'' Kit, yoii are a very fine fellow after all,
though you do take things so lumpily. But
answer me one little question. Why did your
Aunt give her that hundred pounds ? "
" Because she loved her, as everybody does — -
or did. Because she was so kind, and good,
and loving."
" No, my bo3% not at all for tliat reason.
But because she married you, Aunt Parslow's
nephew. The money was yours, in all honesty,
not hers. Or at any rate it belonged to you
together. She had no more right to take that
money without your consent, than I have to
walk into Baker Rasp's shop, and walk out of
it with the contents of his till. You must look
at things squarely, and make your mind up.
Expel her from your heart. She is a light-of-
love, and a robber. Oh, Kit, Kit, that I should
have brought you into this ! And I did think
that I knew so much about women."
My Uncle shed a tear, not on his own account,
or mine, and perhaps not even for the sake of
women ; but because he had loved Kitty as his
own daughter, and he could no more expel her
from his heart, than I from mine ; at least with-
VOL. u. q
226 KIT AND KITTY.
out taking a long time about it. I was moved
with his grief, for he was hard to grieve ; and
my wrath at his injustice was disarmed. I put
back the empty box, and locked the drawer ;
for I knew that it was useless to argue with
him.
" This is the second great grief of my life,"
he said in a low voice, as if talking to himself;
" over and above those losses wdaich are inflicted
on us by the Lord, as time goes on. And the
other was tlirough a woman too. I will tell you
of it, when we have more time ; for it may help
yon in your own grief, Kit, But now we must
quiet those fellows downstairs. I wish we had
never called them in. I would rather lose every
penny I possess, and start in the world again,
as a market-porter, than let this miserable story
get abroad. We must take your view of the
case before the public, and tell them that there
is no money gone, except her own. The Lord
knows that I am not a liar, and He will forgive
me for stretching a bit this time. Or perhaps
you had better do it ; because you believe it,
you know, and so there won't be any lie at all.
You go down first ; and I will come behind you
grumbling, which no one can say is an un-
grateful thing now."
NONE. 227
This seemed the proper course, altbougli in
my misery I should never have thought of it,
until I wished that I had done so. The question
as to the right to that money lay between myself
and Kitty ; and as she had doubtless considered
it hers, to brand her at large as a robber,
without allowing her chance of explanation,
would be most unfair, and would only add
another pain to a story too painful already.
So I went down and told Sergeant Biggs that
my wife had taken a few clothes in her hand-
bag, and a part of some money she had lately
received as a wedding-present, but had left the
balance of her cash for housekeeping, as well as
most of her trinkets, in the bedroom drawer.
He was much disappointed at this, and shook
his head, to disguise the blow received by his
sagacity.
" Beats me for the present, at any rate," he
said ; " but time will throw more light upon it,
before we are many years older. You hold
on, sir, and not go about too much. Half the
mischief comes of that. A party comes to us,
and he says — ' Look liere, I leave the whole of
it to your care, Sergeant. You understand
these things, and I don't. Anything as you do
I will back up — magistrates, witnesses, lawyers,
228 KIT AND KITTY.
dogstealers — whatever you find needful, up to
a five-pound note, or more.' And after that,
what do we feel ? Why, ready to go through
with it, on our best mettle, you might say, and
come down with cash out of own breeches'
pocket, for love of nothing else but duty. And
then we gets crossed, like two dogs a-coursing,
by the other party's track, with his nose up in
the air, the very same as if he never come
anigh us. So I says to Turnover, ' Now one
thing or the other ; either they must let us do
it all, or nothing. And if we do it all, in a
hunt-the-slipper thing like this, we must know
all the ins and outs, first from the beginning.
Then,' says I, ' we can give our minds to it.
Turnover.' And he answers — ' Yes, Sergeant,
but do they mean to tell us everything ? ' And
now that's the question before you, sir."
" We will think about that, and let you know
by and by," said my Uncle, who had listened
to this long oration ; " not that you ever find
out anything, Biggs. Still it is a comfort to
believe that you are trying. And now come
and do what you ouglit to have done long ago
— make a careful examination of the footprints
by the door. It has been raining pretty sharp ;
but it all came from the south, and the important
KONE. 229
marks are on tlie north side in the lane, accord-
ing to wliat my nephew saw last night, and the
shower won't have touched them, with the door
shut to. Bring some paper and a pencil, and
your old joint-rule. Kit. Not that we shall
ever make out much."
He was right enough in that last prediction.
For although I had fastened the door — in strict
keeping with the moral of the proverb — and no
rain had pelted the ground outside it, yet a
greater effacer than rain had been there. For
the spot being on a sharp slope, and below the
crown of the road, or the lane I should say, a
strong rush of water had taken track there, and
washed away all the dust, and then the heavier
substance, leaving rough pebbles with sharp
edges sticking up, as clean and unconscious as
before they saw the world.
" Nothing to be made of that," said Biggs ;
" nor of any footmarks anywhere else, after all
the rain as have fallen. Only thing to do now
is to inquire of the neighbours, and folk as
were about last night."
230 KIT AND KITTT.
CHAPTER XVI.
ON TWO CHAIRS.
For as much as three weeks I had been full of
pride, in taking my Kitty about everywhere —
even by the seaside, where I knew very little,
but luckily she knew less, in spite of her
scientific origin — and asking her to look about
and see things with her own eyes ; and if she
could not make them out, to call me in to help
her. This had been rash on my part ; for a man
may be gaping about, for his lifetime, and die
after all with his mouth wide open ; and not a
word come from it, to help the people left
behind, but only to unsettle them, and put
them in a flutter ; as gnats skip into another
dance, at every new breath across them. But
Kitty had really put some questions far outside
my knowledge (as a child may, who hangs on
his grandfather's thumb), and I had promised
to look up those points and deliver an opinion,
ON TWO CHAIRS. 231
when I had one. All this came into my mind,
like a chill, when I had to trace her dear steps,
away from me, away from me.
Let seventy times seven wise men say that
no man with a grain of wisdom could have a
spark of faith in women, because they never
know their own mind — little as there is of it to
know — I still abode in my own faith, and let
them quote old saws against the sturdy hold-
fast of true love. I felt as sure of my Kitty's
heart, as I did of ray own, and more so ; for
she never would have borne to hear a hundredth
part of the things against me, which I had to
listen to against her. And the cowards, who
vent their own craven souls in slander of those
who cannot face them, had a fine time of it now,
and rejoiced in the misery they were too small
to feel. Such things might sour a weakling,
who depends upon what other people think ;
but I found enough of manhood coming up in
me, as time went on, to make me stick to my
own trust, and let outer opinions touch my
home, no more than the shower that runs down
the glass.
At first, however, it was dreadful work.
Everybody seemed to be against me, not with
any unkiiidness, but by way of worldly wisdom.
232 KIT AND KITTY.
" Don't you dwell too much upon it." " A
runaway wife isn't worth running after."
" Never you mind ; but get another ; try the
people you know, with their friends in the
place." These were the counsels I received,
with a nod of my head, and no reply.
But I could not see things as othei's saw them.
I spent the first day of my lonely life, in
wandering through the crooked lanes, and
working out every track and turn which my
darling could have taken, in the dark mystery
of her flight from me. Yery often I thought
that she must come back ; and there was
scarcely a hill that I did not run up, persuading
myself that when the top was gained, there
I should descry her in the distance beyond,
weary, and dragging her feet along, but eager
at sight of me to make a rush and f^ill into my
longing arms. How many a corner I turned,
believing that it must be the last between her
and me ; and how many a footpath stile I sat
on, hiding my eyes that she might catch me
unawares, as at blind-man's buff, and throw her
warm arms round my neck, and kiss me into
shame of my mistrust, and tell me that she
never could have doubted me, whatever I had
done, or whatever people said !
ON TWO CHAIRS. 233
And then, when it grew too dark to see even
my own love in the shadow of the Lanes, and
the last note of the wedded thrush (who sings
to the sparkle of the stars in May) was hushed
by a call from his nest, and followed by the
first clear trill of the nightingale
" Who tells the deeper tale of night
With passion too intense for light,"
— weary, and with little heart for loneliness and
doubt and woe, yet I could not be quite sure
that when I opened our own door, some one
might not run out hotly, and give me no time
to speak, but hold me lip to lip, and breast
to breast, with scarcely room for a tear be-
tween us.
It is the emptiness that follows such full hope
that does the harm to the powers of endurance.
When no one came to meet me, and the cold
rooms showed gray lines of shade, with no dear
life to cross them, I used to fall away, and feel
my heart go down, like the water of a sink, when
the plug is taken out of it. Tljere was nothing
more for it to do. My wretched life was not
worth the fuss of pumping and of labouring ;
better to give in at once, and have no more
pain to drain it.
" You are killing yourself up here, my boy ;
234 KIT AND KITTY.
this will never do," said Uncle Corny. " Bother
the women ; what a pest they are ! Try to be
like that ancient fellow — I can never remember
his name, but they call him the father of history.
You told me about him, when you went to
the Grrammar-school at Hampton. And it was
so wise that I paid for another half-year for
you to read him. You know better than I do ;
but I think there had been a lot of carrying off
of pretty girls between two countries, and they
were going to fight about them. But he says
that they had no call to do it ; for men of
discretion would let them go, and make no fuss
about them. Because it was manifest that the
women would never have been carried off,
unless they themselves had wished it. I don't
suppose you could do it now ; but if you can,
bring dow^n the book, and read it to me this
evening. It would do you a deal more good
than to hold your tongue, and eat your heart
out."
" I hate to hear of that rubbish," I replied ;
" they were a lot of good-for-nothings. To
talk of my Kitty in that sort of way would
drive me mad, Uncle Corny. If you have
nothing better to say than that, you had better
go home to Tabby."
ON TWO CHAIRS. 235
" Well, perhaps they will come and carry
Tabby off. I believe she would go for a new
bonnet ; and I don't know what I should do if
she did. But shut up this place, Kit, and come
back to the old quarters. You want company,
my boy ; and I'd rather let old Harker in again,
than have you here killing yourself like that,
and sleeping in the kitchen on two chairs ; if
you ever get any sleep at all."
" I will never leave this house," I said ; " and
I won't even be smoked out of it. WJien Kitty
comes back, she will come here first ; and there
is no telling how soon she may want me. You
only bother me with all this stuff."
" Well, I will not be hard upon you, Kit ;
because the Lord has done that quite enough.
But you have not got a bit of religion in you,
after all the teaching I have given you."
This was very fine from Uncle Corny, who
never even went to church, except to keep other
people out of his pew. And he rubbed his nose
as he said it ; as he always did, when he had
gone too far.
" There is a very good man wants to see
you," he went on a little nervously, for I knew
that he had been leading up to something;
" and a man to whom you are bound to listen,
236 KIT AND KITTY.
because he was tlie one wlio married yon, and
therefore understands all the subject, matrimony,
women, and the doctrmes of the Church. The
Reverend Peter Golightly wishes to have a
little talk with you."
" And I wish to have none with him. He is
a very good and kind-hearted man. But I could
not bear to hear his voice, after — after what he
did for me, and Kitty."
" I was afraid there would be that objection,"
my Uncle answered kindly ; " but you will get
over that by and by, my boy. And it would
be rude not to see him, for he takes the greatest
interest in your case. He has been disappointed
himself, I believe ; though of course he did not
tell me so. He is too much a man for that sort
of thing. I shall go and hear him preach
some day, unless our Yicar comes back again.
They tell me that he does a lot of good, and
he preached against robbing orchards once,
although he has only got one apple tree, and it
is eaten up with American blight. There's
another fellow wants to see you too — not much
of the parson about him. He can tell you
things you ought to know ; and being about as
he always is, I wonder you have not been to see
him. Not that I care for Sam Hendersou ; but
ON TWO CHAIRS. 237
he is not so bad as he used to be. He is going
to be married next month ; and I'll be bound
he won't let his wife "
" Run away from him — you were going to
say. Perhaps he will not be able to help him-
self. Well, I will see him, if he likes to come.
I shall be back, by nine o'clock. It is very
kind of him to wish it. But send up a bottle of
whisky, Uncle. I have no drink of any sort
in the house ; and Sam is nothing without his
glass, although he never takes very much. I
must give him something, if he comes."
" And take a drop yourself, my boy, if only
for a little change. I don't hold with cold
water, when a fellow is so down ; though it is
better than the opposite extreme. I suppose,
by the by, that your Kitty had not taken "
" Uncle Corny ! " I cried, in a voice that
made him jump ; " what next will you imagine ?
She never touched anything, not even beer ;
though I often tried to make her take a glass.
She had seen too much of that, where she was."
" All right, Kit. But you are getting very
cross; which is not the proper lesson of affliction,
as the Reverend Peter might express it. Well,
ril send little Bill up, with the bottle and a
corkscrew. I don't suppose you know where
238 KIT AND KITTY.
to find anything now. That's the worst of
married life even for three weeks. But I have
got a plan I mean to tell you of to-morrow."
When I came back, a little after dark, having
finished that hopeless wandering which I went
through every evening now, there was Sam
Henderson, sitting on an empty flower-pot
outside my door, with a cigar in his mouth.
He might have gone inside, for I left the front
door open all day long and all night too, unless
the weather prevented it, for I had nothing
to he robbed of now ; at least, nothing that I
cared about, except Kitty's clothes, which I
had locked out of sight. And it seemed to
be delicate and kind of Sam, to sit here in
discomfort, instead of walking in. And he
showed another piece of good taste and good
will, which could hardly be expected from so
blunt and rough a man — he said not a word
about his own bright prospects, until I inquired
about them.
But he shook my hand in a very friendly
way, and left me to begin upon the matter
which had brought me to my present state.
And for some time I also avoided that.
" I will tell you, old chap," he said at last, in
reply to my anxious question, " exactly what I
ox TWO CHAIRS. 239
think, though it is not good for ranch, heing
altogetlier out of my own line. I think you
liave heen awfully wronged, as abominably
wronged as any fellow ever was, on the face of
this earth — which is saying a good bit, mind
you. Knowing what a lot of infernal rogues
there are to be found at every corner, and much
more often than decent fellows, I am never
brought up standing by any black job ; though
the ins and outs of it may floor me. The
Professor is a soft man, isn't he ? He has
shown it in many ways, although he is so
clever. You would call him a soft man,
wouldn't you ? "
" Well," I said, wondering how this could
bear upon it, " I suppose he is rather of the
credulous order, as most good men are, who
measure others by themselves. But he had left
England long before. So that can have little
to do with it."
*' Right you are, as concerns himself But
I am a believer in breed, my friend. And the
longer I live, the more true I find it come. A
credulous father, if you prefer the word, is
likely to be blest with a credulous child, and
your wife took after her father more closely in
the inner, because she didn't in the outer
240 KIT AND KITTY.
woman. At least, I can't say from my own
eyes, knowing nothing of old Blowpipes, but I
understand she did not favour him in the flesh."
" Not exactly," I answered, with a little smile,
as I thought of the loveliness of Kitty's face ;
" but she was like him a little, just here and
there."
" A little won't do. My old Trunnion, who
croaked in the great frost that almost settled
you, my boy, has a son of his old age, Commo-
dore, who will be heard of towards July at the
Market, scarcely a bit like him in the face,
except in one tuck of his nostril, and a tuft of
five hairs over his near eye. But do you think
I could not swear to him by his ways and
tricks, and his style of coming up ? That's the
time to know what a horse thinks of you ; and
I tell you this colt thinks exactly as his father
did ; and all the more, because he isn't like him
in the face. There must be the likeness some-
where."
" Yes, I have heard you say that many times
before, and I dare say you were right enough
about it. But what has that to do with — what
has happened to me ? "
" Just everything, stupid. Your wife being
soft — or credulous, if you like it better — she
ON TWO CHAIRS. 241
Slicks in a lot of lies against you. The dose
comes from somebody she believes in, not her
old enemies of course. Her dignity will not
allow her to complain — women are always
horribly dignified when jealous — and off she
goes, without a word, leaving you to your own
conscience, which will more than give you the
tip for it. She'll come back by and by, when
she has punished you enough ; and then of
course you'll have to swear, etc., etc. She'll call
herself all sorts of names. And there'll be
nobody like you, till next time. You'll see if
that isn't at the bottom of all this."
" Not likely," I answered with some wrath.
" In the first place, my Kitty would never believe
a word of such stuff against me, and there is no
such thing as jealousy in her nature."
" You know best. But I thought I heard
something from the man round the corner at
Ludred."
" That was a different thing altogether," I
said quickly, although the remembrance struck
me, as it had not done before ; *' and in the next
place, if she could be so absurd, she would
be the last person in the world to go away
without a word, without even giving me a
chance of taking my own part. No, that theory
VOL. II. R
242 KIT AND KITTY.
will never do. My Kitty was the most just, as
well as the kindest darling ever born."
" You don't know what they are sometimes.
How can you expect to know more about them,
than they do about themselves ? Yesterday, just
by way of something, I asked Sally what she
would do, if she ever turned up jealous. ' I
would grind my ring-finger off,' she said, ' with
these two teeth, I would, Sam ' — for she has got
uncommon grinders — ' and I would make my
rival swallow it.' Now, Sally has been well
broken in, remember, and no vice in the family ;
at any rate since her great Grand-dam ; but
her eyes showed that she would do it ! "
" There is no ferocity in Kitty," I answered
with a lofty air ; "I know uothing about race-
horses, and very little about women. But
women are only men in a better form, more
gentle, more just, and more loving. They
never give way to such fury as we do "
" The Professor's wife, for instance, Kit.
She never gives way to her temper, does she ?
Oh dear, no. Even if she has any temper to
give way to. A sucking dove — too mild to
suck, if her sister wants the pigeon's milk
before her."
" She is the exception that proves the rule.
ON TWO CHAIRS. 243
And I doubt whether even she would be so, if
she did not suck too much of stronger liquor.
And I will tell you another thing, Master Sam,
as you have put me up to this ; and you have
a right to know everything now, that you may
understand the case. It knocks your theory on
the head. Only I must have your solemn
promise, that no one shall ever hear of it."
Sam gave me his pledge ; and I knew that
he would keep it, for he was well inured to
control his tongue. Then I told liim, although
it went much against the grain, of the dis-
appearance of our stock of money.
" That beats me ; at least for the present," he
replied ; " it don't seem to square with any-
thing. Throws me out of my stride, and makes
me cross my legs. But I don't believe she ever
took it. How can you tell that she took it,
poor chap? If she collared that tin, she will
never come back. Was there nobody else could
have taken it ? The Peelers, for instance, you
know what they are ? They had the run of
the house. I have known a lot of cases "
" No, it is impossible that they can have
touched it. The lock had not been tampered
with. The key was in its place, and the last
place they would have searched for it. And I
244 KIT AND KITTY.
know by the state of the drawer, that no hand
but my wife's Lad been inside it."
" Then you had better not call her your wife,
any more." Sam Henderson spoke very sternly ;
and then, looking at my face, went on more
kindly, and with a huskiness in his voice.
" You have been unlucky, old chap, as unlucky
as any fellow I ever came across, except an old
man at York races once. It was not about
money that his bad luck was ; or I would not
compare it with yours, my dear boy. Sorry as
I was for your trouble. Kit, I thought it could
all be cured, till now. And it can be cured even
now, dear Kit ; but only as we cure the grief
of death. I need not tell you to be a man ; for
I see that you have been one all along. After
what you have told me, I understand your
behaviour thoroughly. Before that, I was
angry with you, and a little ashamed of you,
to tell the trutli, for moping here in this way.
I thought, ' Why the deuce doesn't he go up
and shake the truth out of that old rogue
Hotchpot, or that bigger villain. Downy Bul-
wrag ? ' But now I see that you could only
stay at home, and trust to time to comfort you.
And you must weed out, as I would a filly with
three legs, a bad lot, a woman who "
ON TWO CHAIRS. 245
"Stop, Sam," I cried; "don't say a word
that would make me hate you. Though all
appearances are so black, I will never for a
moment lose my fiiith in Kitty. Nobody knows
her, as I do. If I never see, or hear of her
again, I will say to my last breath, and feel to
my last pulse, that she has been deceived, not
by me, but about me ; and that I have never
been deceived in her."
" Well, old chap, all that I can say is, that
you deserve a better wife than was ever yet
born. And if your opinion of your wife is
true, why, this affair beats any job on the turf,
that I ever heard of; and I have heard of a
smart few. But I shall keep my eyes open,
Kit, and we'll try to pull it off. I pick up a lot
of things you would never think of; and there's
daylight at the bottom of the best tarred sack.
Come and see me to-morrow. It will be a little
change. And I can show you a young 'un
that will take the shine out of all Chalker's.
If you want a pot of money, I can tell you
where to get it."
246 KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER XVII.
job's comfort.
I DID not want any pot of money. And even
if I had been filled with that general desire,
Henderson's suggestion would have had no
charm for me. But I resolved to do a much
wiser thing — to stick to my work, with head
and hands, and let the heart come after them,
if it could, as it grew wiser. The police had
made nothing of my case, although they had
done their best, no doubt. Whoever had com-
passed my wife's departure — for I would not
call it " flight " — had managed it with much
craft ; and luck (according to the ancient
proverb) had shown a kinsman's love for craft.
The lane, at the back of our lonely cottage, was
little frequented, except on Sundays, and then
in the evening only, for that study of mutual
tastes and feelings, which is known as " keep-
ing company." For this it was a popular
JOB'S COMFOKT. 247
resort, and therefore (as usual) called " Love
Lane," by blushing youth and maiden. At
other times its chief use was to give access to
some meadow-land, and its chief wayfarers
were four cows, a donkey, and a nanny-goat,
belonging to Farmer Osborne. But it wound
into divers other lanes, towards Hampton,
Tangley Park, and Bed font, and through some
of them to Feltham Station, on the London and
South-Western line. That was one of the
places where I had made first inquiry ; but
Sergeant Biggs had been before me, and so he
had at Twickenham. And in fact he had
sought far and near, and been put upon false
scent sometimes, but had hit on nothing
genuine.
Whatever any man may say, or even think,
or dream of, the opinions of his fellow-men go
into his mind, and work there. No one is
certain what he believes ; or at any rate how
he believes it. And the harder he toils to
establish his faith, the more apt he is to under-
mine it. His best plan is never to argue about
whatever he longs to trust in ; or if his good
friends will not let him alone, he should choose
for his disputant the sceptic. This will build
him up a good deal ; not because he has con-
248 KIT AND KITTY.
vinced the other man, but because he knows
that he must have done so, if the other had
been gifted with reason.
And now I was more convinced than ever,
by the firm convictions of my Uncle, and Sam,
that they both were quite wrong, and that I
was quite right. If they had only said that
there might be some mistake, something that
admitted of a simple explanation, and with
patience on our part must receive it, in that
case the chances are that I should have been
doubtful whether they had any grounds for
putting it in that way. But when they came
and put it — without asking my opinion — in the
very opposite way to that, and the opposite one
to what I wanted to believe, their conclusion
was a spring-board to send me heels over head
to the counter one.
My good Aunt Parslow had been over twice,
and held very long talks with Uncle Corny ;
but I had simply refused to take part in them.
To go into all the pros and cons, and hear one
say this, and the other say that ; all assuming
in the calmest manner that they knew at least
ten times as much about my poor self, and my
richer self, as both of us put together knew, in
our most conscientious moments — grateful as I
JOB'S COMFORT. 249
was, I offered them that view of gratitude,
which alone can make a slow shot at her
fleeting speed — the instantaneous process. In
the twenty-four millionth part of a moment,
all her legs have spurned the wind, and the
fool who thought to chronicle her, finds her
dust upon his glass.
Herein I was not just, or fair ; and I have
lived to be ashamed of it. But up to this
present time of search, I have not come across
the man, who continued to be just and fair,
while a wrong that went to the bottom of his
soul was fresh, and hot, and turbid. Such men
there may be, of vast philosophy, or profound
religion ; but I have never met them yet ; and
if I do, I shall be afraid of them.
Thus I waited, day by day, slowly quitting
hold of hope, hardening myself to do without
her, by incessant work of hand. In this I took
no pride or pleasure, as a mill finds none in
perpetual grind ; but from morning twilight
till evening dusk, I laboured among the lonely
trees. My Uncle begged me to go to London,
if only for a little change and stir, as the straw-
berry season came, and he began to use his
stand again. But I felt myself unfit for this,
and knew that in my present vein, I should
250 KIT AND KITTY.
only do a mischief to him, among his ancient
customers. For a happy face and a cheerful
spirit do hest among the buyers ; and a bit of
chaff, or a turn of slang, will sometimes help
a lame market through. I knew a man once,
a mere carter he was, who had never been near
" Common Grarden " before, but was sent up
by a neighbouring Grrower, as a last resource,
when his salesman fell ill. A mere bumpkin
he was, and he wore a smock-frock, and cord
trousers tied below the knee ; but his round
merry face, and broad country brogue, and
native simplicity, and twinkling eyes, took the
humour of the crowd ; and he sold out all his
lot at top prices, by looking as fresh as his
fruit, before anybody else had got rid of a
dozen.
"Well, if you won't go up, you won't," my
Uncle said to me one day ; " but you will break
down, going on like this. I like a young
fellow to work ; but I can't abide for him to
do nothing else, and never think twice of his
victuals. And you are spoiling your own
chance altogether, in another and a very im-
portant affair. Your Aunt Parslow took a
great fancy to you, and she meant to come
down handsome when she dies. She told me
JOB'S COMFORT. 251
that, almost in so many words. And now you
are setting her quite against you. You know
how you behaved, the last time she came
over."
"I could not endure her perpetual talk. You
can't say that I was rude to her. But I don't
want her money. What good is it to me ?
I wish she had never given us a farthing."
" It is nasty rubbish to talk like that, Kit ;
and every one will turn against you. You
used to have such a lot of common sense. Well,
perhaps you were not exactly rude to her ; or
at least you did not mean to be. But there
is nothing ruder, as women look at it, than to
let them liave all the talk to themselves ;
although they insist upon it, if you don't. You
must not interrupt them, of course ; but still
you must say enough to show that you are
listening, and that you think highly of what
they are saying ; though of course you knew
it all, before they began. Instead of that, what
did you do ? You crossed your legs ; women
never like that, when they are talking to you,
any more than a lap-dog who wants to jump
up. I don't know why it is ; but they never
can bear it. And you did worse than that.
The clock struck five, and you began to count
252 KIT AND KITTY.
it. You young fellows never behave well to
ladies."
"I am sure I did not mean to offend her,
Uncle. I never thought twice of what I was
doing."
"Exactly. And you should- have thought
of nothing else, while you seemed to think only
of what she was saying. But I want you to
do me a favour, Kit. I suppose you don't wish
to offend me too ? "
" Certainly not. Because you are reasonable,
and have always been so good to me. I will
do anything to oblige you, Uncle Corny."
" And by doing it, you will oblige yourself.
You are wearing your fingers to the bone, and
all the flesh off your other bones, by this con-
founded stubbornness. I hate to hear the tap
of your hammer almost, much as I used to like
it. Now, just take old Spanker to-morrow after-
noon, and drive over to your Aunt's at Leather-
head, with the basket of strawberries I promised
her. She doesn't know what a good straw-
berry is ; eleven people out of a dozen don't ;
anymore than a babe that just opens his mouth.
She has plenty of her own, I know ; but none
worth the trouble of eating. To-morrow will be
Saturday. You can stop till Monday ; and it will
JOB'S COMFOET. 253
do you a lot of good, and set you up again
almost. There is nothing like a woman in a case
like yours. You let her talk on, and you never
contradict her, and she says to herself — ' Well,
I have done him good ! ' And so she has ; not
the way she meant it; hut by making you think
that they are all alike, and not a bit of solid
sense among them. And it is not only that,
but you are pleased to think how much better
you know things than they do ; though you
don't say one word to their fifty. Whenever
I am bothered, or cheated, or insulted, I get
a nice woman to talk to me ; and it is as good
as a pipe of the best Birdseye ; which you can
have at the same time, if you know how to do it."
" You seem to look at things for your own
advantage only," I answered, because I thought
these views low ; " however I will do as you
wish ; and Sunday is a dreadful day for me
here, without any work. I thought last Sunday
would never end ; and not being a woman, I
could not come and comfort you."
I was pleased with this rap at him ; because
I could not see what business he had with nice
women, and so on ; whether they came to his
house to talk with him, or whether he went to
have his pipe at theirs, as he had almost let out
254 KIT AND KITTY.
by his last words. For there never was a
woman, who could stop him of a pipe in his
own house — that was certain. But that he
should talk of my being stubborn, amused me,
every time I thought of it. Verily if I had
a splinter of that substance in me, he was the
oak from which it came ; and he might have
spared enough to roof a church, without any-
body asking how he was.
Now he wrote to my Aunt that I was coming,
according to her proposal, and he made Tabby
Tapscott come up to the cottage, and pack up
a few things for me, inasmuch as I had no one
now to do it. And he had his best straw-
berries picked in the morning, before the sun
margarined them, and kept in a cold place
till I was ready, and then packed so that no
heat could get at them. And as Spanker had
not been to London for three days, he was sure
to strike out at a merry pace, when he found
himself free of the Country. For I never saw
a horse that liked to go to London ; any more
than a man loves a cemetery.
Spanker was as gay as May, as soon as he
knew where he was going ; and he roused up
each hill with a rush from the other, which
showed a deep sense of Mechanics. Nobody
JOB'S COMFORT. 255
would have believed his age, even if he had
told it truly ; which he had strong human
reason for not attempting, having found his
teeth filed quite early.
What with the brisk air of those hills, and
the soft turn of the valleys, and the gaiety of
the time of year, a quantity of heaviness went
from me, and a vein of health flowed in. Not
that I ever said to myself — as people of incon-
stant nature do, — " There are better fish in the
sea," etc.; or, "If she be not fair to me ; " or even
so much as, " Care killed the cat." My mood
was neither indej)endent nor defiant, and I felt
as respectful towards women as ever. It was
only that more hope came inside me, from
seeing so much in the world outside ; and
perhaps more faith in the Lord, because He was
doing His best so largely. However, I never
thought twice about that, and must claim no
credit for it.
Aunt Parslow was not very gracious at first,
thouffh she could not find fault with the straw-
berries. She pretended that she had some
quite as good ; though she declared herself to
be most grateful. But as soon as I said, " Send
for some of your own ; that will be the true
proof of the pudding. Aunt," she discovered
256 KIT AND KITTY. '
that her own were not quite at their best just
now, and in fact they had been so good, that
the slugs and the blackbirds could not resist
them. This showed very little self-command on
their part; for there was not a good fruit among
them, as I found out on Sunday, the beds being
a mixture of some twenty kinds, growing in
great tussocks, and for the most part barren,
which was just as well.
I let my Aunt have her own way, as a man
should let all women do, except those of his
own household ; and by and by she became
more pleasant, especially when she had dis-
covered — as she did at dinner-time — that my
present state of health required a bottle of her
dry Champagne. Being compelled myself, I
thought it just to use coercion too, and had the
satisfaction soon of finding her much more
ladylike. Her coldness towards me passed
away, and when we had clinked our glasses
twice, we resumed our proper footing.
" You don't fill up," she said more than once,
and I found the same fault with her ; and when
that error had been removed, we could enter
into one another's feelings.
" The great thing you want is nourishment,"
she said, when 1 had made a noble dinner ;
job's comfort. 257
" people in the present age never attacb.
sufficient importance to that point. Thej
indulge too mncli in stimulants — no more, Kit,
no more, or at the outside, only half; fill your
own, for you require it — while they scarcely
allow themselves time to take the proper
amount of substance. Through a very old and
deeply respected friend of our family in the
City, a man of the loftiest principles, I am
enabled to get the real turtle at half-price ; and
it has been instrumental, under Providence, in
the restoration of your health. I have sent
him a telegram ; and to-morrow, although it is
the Sabbath-day, we shall find a tin here, when
we return from church. It is better than
Grove's, or any that you see in the windows
going down Cheapside. A turtle should never
be allowed to sprawl about barbarously in the
sun. It is against his nature, and it does him
harm. He becomes demoralized, and loses firm-
ness. They say that we all spring from turtles
now ; but I cannot believe it ; for cannibalism is
never nice, and turtle is. What a turtle your
Uncle Cornelius would have made ! "
" I am glad that you find him so nice," I
replied ; " but he would always have tasted of
tobacco."
VOL. u. s
258 KIT AND KITTY.
" Well, we must allow for one another ; and
there is no accounting for tastes. Jupiter likes
turtle ; but the other dogs won't touch it. I
had a dog once who would eat cigars. If he
found a stump in the road, it was quite as good
as a bone to him ; but he did not live very long,
poor fellow ! Now let them take away the
things; and when you have had your glass of
port, come to me in the drawing-room. Don't
hurry, because I mean to have my nap."
As yet, she had never mentioned Kitty's
name, which surprised me not a little ; but I
thought it likely that she was still rather sore
at my behaviour. For when she had come to
see us lately, it had been more than I could bear
to listen calmly while everybody offered any
sort of guess ; just as they might discuss a case
of abduction in the papers, or the theft of a
female dog, who " answered to the name of
Kitty."
( 259 )
CHAPTER XVIII.
TRUE COMFORT.
Every allowance should be made for a man
who is in deep trouble. Not because it is his
due, for that would count but little ; but be-
cause he expects it, which he never does of his
other debts, after experience. But he does hope
to receive fine feeling, when he knows how
cheap it is ; and his sense of bad luck blackens
in him, when he cannot even get that much.
And yet he ought to feel how trumpery are
his trivial joys and sorrows, in the whirligig
of this great world. He does his utmost thus
to take it ; to shudder at the wrongs of others,
and to glow at their redress, to suck his fingers
more and more with the relish of his neighbour's
pie ; and perhaps with practice he begins to
get some moonlight pleasure thus. But alas,
before he is perfect in it, some little turn of
thought comes home, some soft remembrance
260 KIT AND KITTY.
thrills his heart, as the sun quivers in a well-
spring, and all his nature lets him know that
he belongs to it, and is itself.
A little touch of this kind took me, when I
was full of higher things, or at least was trying
so to be. I had not been to church since my
day of dole, my day of doom and desolation.
How could I go to Sunbury Church, and see the
spot where Kitty stood and stole my whole
devotion, and see the altar-rails where she ha^l
knelt and vowed herself mine for ever ; and now,
with no Kitty at my side, be stared at by a
hundred eyes, all asking — " Well, how do you
get on ? " But now in this strange place, I
went to the Sunday morning service, though
Kitty had been there too with me, in the happy
days not long gone by. My Aunt came with
me, and with much fine feeling allowed me to
sit where my dear had sat, and to put my hat
on the selfsame peg on which she had placed
it for me.
At first it was a bitter time ; but I went
through it bravely, though at first I could not
bring myself to open the Prayer-book, which I
had brought in the bag with my clothes from
Sunbury. My wife had given it to me at
BayclifiP, when I hajDpened to admire it in a
TRUE COMFORT. 2G1
window, and I remembered that she had written
" Kit," and nothing else, on the fly-leaf.
But the first psalm for that morning service,
being a very sad one, suited my state of mind
so well that I opened my book to follow it.
And I remember reading with all my heart —
" My heart is smitten down, and withered like
grass ; so that I forget to eat my bread. I
am become like a pelican in the wilderness ;
and like an owl that is in the desert."
Perhaps through the shaking of my thumb,
the cover of the book fell back, and showed
me some words on the fly-leaf written with
a pencil by my own wife. Before the word
" Kit," which was in ink, she had written with
a pencil " Darling," and after it, " Grod's will
be done." The writing was faint, as if the
pencil wanted cutting, and it seemed to have
been dashed off in great haste.
This then was her farewell to me. I was
sure that the words had not been there, the
last time I used the Prayer-book ; and indeed
there would have been no meaning in them.
Over and over again I read them, forgetting
everything else, I fear, and standing up after
the first lesson had begun, until my Aunt gave
ray coat a jerk. I longed to rush out of the
2()2 KIT AND KITTY.
chorcli and think ; and the rest of the service
went by me, as a dream.
Though very little light vyas thrown hereby
upon my dark enigma, I found more comfort
perhaps than reason would warrant, in this
discovery. In the first place, if my wife had
left me, in bitterness at some fancied wrong,
she would never have addressed me thus ; and
this alone removed a weight of misery from
my bosom. For it had been agony to me to
think, as I could not help doing, that my own
Kitty all this while was nursing bitterness
against me, as if it had been possible for me
to wrong her. And again that she should not
have gone entirely without a word, was a piece
of real comfort to me ; though others, who have
not been so placed, may think that I was foolish
there. Yery likely I was ; but never mind.
The Prayer-book, as we all acknowledge, is a
very noble work ; and nobody can write such
English now, as is to be found in it at every
page ; and I tliink that Kitty was quite right
in choosing; it for her last word to me. But
if it comes to that, she was always right ; at
least according to my ideas.
Strange as it may seem to some — who cannot
enter into odd states of mind, such as long had
TRUE COMFORT. 263
been my lot — I did not say a word, as yet, to
my Aunt Parslow about this matter. She had
formed her own theory, like everybody else,
and I meant to let her go through with it.
And so she did, that afternoon, having put
great pressure upon herself — for my sake, as
she told me — to enable her to hold her tongue,
until she could speak with advantage, and
without any risk of being taken by any one
for a meddler.
For she liked to dine early on Sundays, and
she always denied herself the pleasure of going
to church in the afternoon, being one of the
most unselfish persons I have ever met with.
After a dinner not to be gainsaid, at any rate
till supper-time, we sat in the garden and
listened to the bells, and thought witli pleasure
of tlie congregation now going to have a hot
time of it. I was full of tender recollections,
for this was the very spot where Kitty had
shown some delightful want of reason about
Sally Chalker. And I told my Aunt all about
it now, with a sigh at the back of every, smile.
Then she laughed with superior wisdom, and
no longer could contain herself.
" I knew she was a jealous little puss. Every
woman has her fault, almost as much as men
264 KIT AND KITTY.
have. It took me a long time to discover any
fault in her, until I started that idea myself.
To make up for the want of other faults, she
has that one to an extreme, you see. And that
is at the bottom of your present trouble, my
poor boy. But she has carried it to an ex-
treme, I admit. It seems a little too absurd."
" It is too absurd to be thought of twice,"
I answered rather savagely ; " my Kitty is not
quite a fool. And she would have been some-
thing worse than a fool, if she had acted from
that motive. She would have been unjust and
cruel, not to afford me so much as a chance of
clearing myself from wicked lies. Our married
life was short indeed ; but long enough for her
to learn that I am not a scoundrel."
"Don't be so hot, Kit. You have no idea
what a woman's mind is. She thought you,
of course, a perfect angel, and herself not good
enough to wipe your shoes. She was always
humble, as you know ; and that tyrant of a
woman must have beaten into her poor head
a bitter sense of her own defects. It is only
natural, she would think, that this great wonder
of a man should want some one better than
poor me. And when some villain laid before
her some strong evidence, we know not what,
TRUE COMFORT. 2G5
she would say to herself — ' It is as I thought.
I will not trouble him to explain. I will leave
him for a while, and perhaps his love will
return, when he has lost me. With this in
my heart, I could not bear to look at him, and
know all the while he was longing to be rid
of me. I will have no scene, which would only
make him think even less of me than he does.'
And so she would go, without caring where."
" Possibly, Aunt, some women might have
done so. But not Kitty. She felt to her
heart my affection for her ; and she trusted
me, as I trusted her. Do you suppose that if
what you say had even seemed joossible to me,
I should have remained, as I have dcme, waiting
for some news of her. I should have rushed
up to every one, who had any motive for
deceiving her, and taken them by the throat,
and wrung their wicked murderous lies out.
No, it is something much worse than that. If
Kitty had left me in petulance, would she have
written these last words, would she have called
me her ' darling Kit ' ? See what I found this
morning."
" That proves nothing," resumed my Aunt,
when I had shown her my Prayer-book, and
we had discussed that matter ; " she may very
266 KIT AND KITTY.
well have relented, at the last moment, and
written that to you."
" Then would she have taken all our money ?
Was that the way to cure my jealousy, and
hring me back to her in penitence ? She had
a right to the money, because you put it into
her own hand. But I am astonished at her
taking it."
Miss Parislow was even more astonished, when
I told her that part of the tale, which I had
begged Uncle Corny not to do. It grieved
me that she should ever hear of it ; but she
certainly had the right to know.
" Perhaps you told her in so many words
that you meant it entirely for herself," I sug-
gested, hoping that it might be so ; for, little
as I cared for that trumpery loss, I was cut to
the quick that my wife should have inflicted
it ; " Kitty must have believed it her own, or
she never would have touched it."
" I said nothing of the kind," my Aunt
replied indignantly ; " I gave it to her, but
I meant it for you — that is to say conjointly.
Her taking it was robbery, and nothing else."
I laughed a little at these words, which I had
lieard from other quarters. That my Kitty
should be called a robber, seemed a little too
TRCE COMFORT. 267
absurd. But I could not be angry, in the teeth
of facts, at any rate with the donor.
" I'll tell you what it is," she said, even as I
had been told before ; " either your wife is as
deep a little hypocrite as ever lived, which I
cannot believe, for I should never trust any
one again if I did ; or else she ran away from
you in a moment of insanity. My poor boy, I
am so sorry for you. I cannot bear to ask you,
but have you ever noticed any tendency that
way — anything even odd, or absent, or incon-
sequential in her manner ? The Professor is a
very queer man, I have heard. All great men
of science are — well, to say the least, eccentric."
" Captain Fairthorn is perfectly sound and
clear-headed, though not a good man of business.
And his daughter is as rational as I am — much
more so, if I am to endure much more of this.
She is quick, and bright-witted, and fidl of
common sense ; except that, like her father,
she is a little too confiding. I never saw a
token of even the slightest absence of mind
about her. Her only insanity was that she
loved me a great deal better than she loved
herself. I believe she would have laid down
her life with pleasure "
" Don't talk about it, my dear Kit. I think
2G8 KIT AND KITTY.
you have borne things wonderfully well, now
that I know all you have told me. And you
must not break down now, my dear. All will
come right in the end, be sure, although we are
in thick darkness now. In spite of all dif-
ficulties, I still hold to my idea of jealousy.
However we won't talk of that any more. You
know that I called upon Miss Coldpepper, the
last time I was at Sunbury ? "
" Yes. But I never heard what she said. I
cannot see how she could help us at all."
" Well, I thought it worth while to try ; and
I found her much kinder than I expected. A
little bit stiff at first perhaps, and rather of the
grand lady style ; but I am sure that she
would help you, if she could. She likes Kitty
better than her own nieces ; that I am quite
sure of; and she does not side a bit with
that horrid Mrs. Fairthorn, at least as every-
body makes her out, though I always form
my own opinion. She perceived, of course,
that I was a lady, and not to be treated as a
fruit-grower might be, such as everybody looks
upon as a sort of apple-pie. I explained that
my connection with your Uncle Orchardson
was casual, and had been against my wishes;
while my family had been in the China-trade ;
TEUE COMFORT. 209
and she asked very kindly, if I would have a
cup of tea. I accepted, because I knew how it
makes ladies talk. Then she asked ine what
I thought of it, and I said it was poor stuff; for
I had no idea of being patronised by her, and
I saw that she had sense enough to like the
truth, especially when it was to her advantage,
although not very complimentary. Then she
asked me where she could get a better article ;
and I told her that I never recommended any
place, having nothing to do with any business
now, but living in a very pretty place of my
own. Naturally this made her press me more ;
and not liking to be disagreeable, I told her of a
place, where by taking twelve pounds she could
get a tea worth two of liers, for fifteen pence a
pound less money. And this made a very
fine impression upon her ; for she loves good
value for her money. Then she became very
gracious indeed ; especially after her cur of a
dog came in, and smelling souvenirs of my
high breed, did his utmost to improve himself,
by licking them. For your sake. Kit, I was
obliged to say, that the wretched mongrel
looked well-bred. Oh dear, oh dear ! "
" Well, never mind. Aunt ; he has done me a
good turn " I remembered in time to stop
270 KIT AND KITTY.
sharply. My Aunt Parslow would take it as
worse than high treason, that I should have
stolen even such a dog : and how could I call it
a good turn now ?
" No dog would do you a had turn, Kit," she
continued quite serenely ; " at any rate no well-
bred dog ; they are as good as a woman, and
infinitely better than any man, in judging
human character. Now listen to what I have
to say. I am not very sharp, for I live out of
the world; and everybody owns that it gets much
worse, from year to year, and from day to day.
But I don't care twopence for that, my dear,
because nothing I can do will alter it. Only I
am as sure as I am of the nature of the very
best dog I ever had — and there he lies, beneath
that tree — that your Kitty has never done a
thing to wrong you, at least according to her
view of thiugs. I will not attempt to explain
that money matter ; for it is beyond me, and I
am sorry that I spoke so harshly. I should have
considered your feelings more, for I know that
you are as true as steel. There is some black
secret that we cannot pierce ; it will all become
clear as the day, in time ; and in time, I hope,
for your happiness. I can well understand that
you have been stopped in all your inquiries, by
TRUE COMFORT. 271
that strange device — for I believe it to be but
another device, on the part of some very crafty
foe. You have let some weeks go by, through
that. No good has ever come, so far as I know,
of any of those ' Private Inquiry ' places ; and
I hate the very name of them. But I think
that you are bound to watch the proceedings of
those two villains, who carried off your Kitty,
to that vile place near Hounslow. Of course,
they would never take her there again. That
you have ascertained long ago. And I do not
believe that they have got her now. She would
be no good to thera, as a married woman. But
they know where she is. I am sure of that.
You have been in a maze of dejection and
distress. And your pride has prevented you
from doing what you should have done. Go
and see those two men. Hunt them out. Take
the matter entirely into your own hands. Your
Uncle Cornelius is very good and kind. But
it is not his wife who is rnissingV
" Those two men are not in London. That
much has been ascertained," I said; "and it
does not appear that they were in London, at
the time — at the time of my trouble."
" Never mind. Find out where they are.
Follow them : never mind where it is. As for
272 KIT AND KITTY.
money, you shall have another hundred pounds,
and a thousand if it proves needful. Don't
thank me, Kit. It is for my own peace. I
have not enjoyed seeing a dog eat his dinner,
since this wickedness was done. You shall
thank me as much as ever you like, when you
have got your Kitty back again. And she
will love you ten times more than ever."
( 273 )
CHAPTER XIX.
BEHIND THE FIDDLE.
It is vain for any man to say that, in the deepest
depths of woe, he can receive no scrap of
comfort from the tenderness of others. Words
may help him very little ; commonplace exhor-
tations are a weariness to the worn-out soul ;
he lies at the bottom of his own distress, and
does not want it probed or touched. But
gradually a little light and warmth steal
through the darkness, not direct from heaven
alone, but reflected from kind eyes and hearts.
He is not alone in the world, although he ever
must be lonely ; and the sense of other life
than his restores him slowly to his own.
After all the kindness shown me, and the
good will wholly undeserved, I felt ashamed to
be so swallowed up by my own sorrow. Some
indulgence I might claim from people of kindly
natuie, on the ground that it was not sorrow
VOL. n. T
274 KIT AND KITTY.
only, but dark mystery and doubt, and even
some sense of black disgrace, which had robbed
me of my proper vigour and due power of man-
hood. And it is more than likely that the long
and wasting illness, from which I had not yet
quite recovered, still impaired the force and
tone of mind as well as body. But I do not
want to make excuses, as people nearly always
say in the very breath they make them with.
Only I was now resolved that no more should be
needed.
On the Monday, I drove Spanher home ;
which was a great delight to him, and to me as
well, for the world looked brighter, when my
face was set to fight it. Or rather I should say,
to fight that vile and wicked part of it, which
had robbed me of my just claim to a happy
though humble place in it. In my breast-
pocket I carried the book containing my wife's
last words to me ; for my good Aunt Parslow
had kindly stitched it in a white kid glove, or
a pair of them, which had been white in their
early days. And in the pocket on the other
side, I carried fifty pounds in bank-notes, so as
to be able to start well, and procure better
judgment than my own, if it should appear
advisable. But about that I was not sure as
BEHIND THE FIDDLE. 275
3'et; being very loth to ask any other man's
opinion, however old he might be, about my
pretty Kitty.
It was now the longest day, which is the
most excellent and perfect time of year, in at
least three years out of every four. Sometimes
there arises a strong hot June ; but scarcely
more than once in twenty summers ; and then,
before the days come to their turn, leaves are
getting flabby, and the grass is overripe, and
the petals of the wild-rose lie in the ditch, and
the blossom of the wheat has dropped its little
quivery bee's-wing. More often there has been
a black Pentecost, a May of lowering skies and
blight, with every animal's coat put the wrong
way on his back ; and then a June of shrink
and shiver, without a fair flower in the garden,
and with the hedgerows full of black caterpillars.
And every man flaps himself with his arms,
like a cock when he springs up to crow ; but
the hedger and ditcher has nothing to crow at,
and is too hoarse to do it, if he had.
But now we had a very fair midsummer,
neither too hot nor too cold ; and the air was
not only fresh but soft, and full of sweet yet
invigorating smells. At tlie top of every hill, one
seemed to sniff the rich calm of the valley, and
276 KIT AND KITTY.
again in the valley to feel the crisp air of the
hill coming down for a change of mood ; there
was nothing to make much fuss about in the
way of striking scenery ; but a pretty peep
could be had at almost every turn of travelling,
where green leaves softened the brilliant sky,
and sheep and cattle, in quiet pastures, showed
that they accepted life, as if it were a blessing.
But I found my Uncle regarding life from a
very different point of view. He had brought all
his strawberry-pickers in at three o'clock that
morning, to make the great hit of the summer, as
he hoped, in the Monday forenoon market. At
six a.m. he had sent off about five hundredweight
of prime fruit, all in pound punnets with dewy
leaves, as fresh as the daybreak, and as bright as
the sun, before it leaves off blushing. But ere
he could put one upon his stand, one hundred
and twenty tons of French stuff, which had been
discharged the night before, were running, like
a flood from some horse-knacker's, in every alley
of the market. This refuse was offered, by the
bucketful, at a penny a pound, which was too
much for it ; a dumpy, and flabby, and slimy
mass, fit for children to make dirt-pies of. Of
course the good buyers would not look at it, for
no man could put it in his window. But the
BEHIND THE FIDDLE. 277
British public could put it in their stomachs,
which is not at all a choice receptacle ; and the
mere fact of its presence took the shine out of
all fair English fruit. Uncle Corny's choice
Presidents, and Dr. Hoggs, as good as if they
leaped from stalk to lip, became jam for the
Juggernauth of free trade ; and he was left
lamenting, as well as swearing very hard.
Whenever he had used strong language, —
however well justified by international law —
he was apt to show less of true penitence, than
of anger with the world that had made him do
it. Being a righteous man, he always felt
ashamed ; but he never was known to retract
an expression ; though he often declared that
his words had been too weak, and he wished he
had said what he was charged with saying.
But Selsey Bill told me that he had been "just
awful," and they were expecting beer all round,
as a token of remorse. " Said a' would sack
every son of a gun of us ! Never knowed 'un
say that, wi'out sending can out by and by.
Ah, he is a just man, Master Kit, if ever was
one."
" Glad to see you, Kit," said my Uncle, who
was getting, with the aid of a pipe, into his
right mind. " You are looking ever so much
278 KIT AND KITTY.
better, my boy. Can't return the compliment,
I fear. The fact is, I have been a little put
out ; though I never lost my temper, as most
people would have done. Fearful smasli this
morning at the Garden. But all the poor
fellows did their very best, and it would not be
fair to punish them. They've been hard at it,
ever since three o'clock. You might take the
four-gallon can, if you like, just to show them
that you are come home again. And I dare say,
you'll be glad of a glass yourself, for the roads
are getting dusty. You can come and talk to
me, when you've been round. Only half a pint
each for the women, mind. It would never do
to get them into bad habits. Unless any of
them has a baby."
When I had discharged that little duty, I
told him of all that my Aunt had said, and
showed him the message to me in the book, if
indeed it could be called a message. He shook
his head very wisely over this, and told me that
he must think about it ; for he could not at
present see the meaning of it. But I saw that
it altered his opinion of the case.
" You have been up to the cottage already, I
see," he continued, as I sat quietly, after vainly
searching once more the columns of his paper
BEHIND THE FIDDLE. 279
the Standard, as I daily did ; " you will never
find any notice there, my boy, nor in any other
paper. It is the blackest puzzle I ever came
across ; and this only makes it the blacker.
Mother Bull is come back " — he should have
said, " the Honourable Mrs. Bulwrag Fairthorn '*
— " I was told so yesterday by that good
woman, who came down when you were so ill.
You know the woman I mean — Mrs. Wilcox,
She was down here yesterday to ask for you,
and was very sorry not to find you. She said
that if Mother Bull had not been away, she
could have sworn that it was all her doinsr.
But now she doubts whether she knew anything
about it ; for when she does a thing, she always
does it by herself, and never trusts any one
with her wicked works. Mrs. Wilcox has not
heard a word from your wife, as I need not tell
you ; but she flies in a fury at the smallest hint
that there can be any fault on her part. She
says that poor Kitty could never plot anything,
even if she wished it. Her mind is too simple,
and she could never carry out any plan require-
ing sharp management. I asked her what she
thought of it all, and she could think of nothing
at all worth speaking of Only that there is
something we don't know — which I could have
280 KIT AND KITTY.
told her, without walkina; a mile. But I think
it might do you good to go and see her ; and it
would comfort you at any rate, for she holds all
your own opinions. And she said one thing
which I thought right, and sharper of her than
I expected, for it never had occurred to me —
that you should take in one of those scientific
journals, which give an account of discoveries
and all that ; so as to find out, if you can, where
Professor Fairthorn is."
"How can that do any good?" I asked.
" He had sailed at least ten days before I was
forsaken, and while we were down at Baycliff.
The telegram from Falmouth proved all that."
" That is clear enough. And of course he
cannot help us, while he is far away at sea.
But for all that, we are bound to let him know,
if there should he any chance. You would
write to him, or write at him, if his daughter
was dead ; and it is very much the same case
now."
" Uncle Corny, you have the most cold-
blooded way sometimes, though you never
mean it. Certainly I am bound to let him
know, if I can ; and I ought to have thought of
it before. But he has given us little of his
company. I will go and see Mrs, Wilcox
BEHIND THE FIDDLE. 281
to-morrow, if only to find out what paper to
get ; for she will know what they used to take
in. And I shall find out what is going on up
there ; though I don't see how it will help me
much."
" When that dog was stolen from Miss Cold-
pepper," said my Uncle, without meaning any
harm, " by some big rogue in London, what
did she do ? Why, she offered a reward at
once, and sent posters right and left. And
what was the result ? Why, the dog came back
almost before she had time to miss him."
" But if he came back without any reward,
what could the reward have to do with it?"
" How do you know that no reward was
paid ? " My Uncle seemed quite to look sus-
picious ; but perhaps it was my conscience that
made him do it. " We can't tell what happened
between them, up there."
" Certainly not," I replied with haste ; " but
I don't like talking about a dog, in tlie same
breath with my Kitty."
" I did not mean to annoy you. Kit," he
answered very humbly ; " although the poor
lady may have felt it bitterly, in her Jittle way.
All that I meant was, that we might have
offered a large reward for any information. It
282 KIT AND KITTY.
could have done no harm, you know. And it
might have come to Kitty's ears, and inchned
her to come back to us. Women are so glad to
save expense."
" How can you understand such things ? As
if I could bear to fetch my wife home, by
jingling a purse before the world ! If she
won't come back without that, she had better —
she had better almost stay away."
" Very well. I can understand your feelings ;
and very likely I should have the same. You
are like me, Kit, in many things ; although a
deal more obstinate."
My Uncle was fond of saying this ; but it
always took my breath away, from the sublimity
of his self-ignorance. It was like an oak-tree
bidding an osier not to be so gnarled and stiff.
" Now remember one thing," he went on, as
he saw me smiling just a little ; " in spite of
your stubbornness, you shall obey me, or I will
know the reason why. You have tried what
good hard work would do, and it has done you
more harm than good. Because your mind has
not been in it, and you have only been fretting
at every stroke, though you stuck to it, like a
Briton. To-day you are twice the man, because
you have had a little change, and seen a little
BEHIND THE FIDDLE. 283
of a different life, and allowed yourself to speak
more freely of your sad affairs, instead of snap-
ping at every one who mentioned them.
Henceforth, you shall never do more than eight
hours' work in these gardens in one day, I mean
of course all by yourself. For sixteen hours
every day, you have avoided every one, and
carried on work, work, all alone, as if you never
meant to speak again. I am pretty tough ; but
it would have killed me, although I am no
chatterbox. And it has gone some way towards
killing you. I left you to your own foolish
plan, because of your confounded obstinacy.
But now, I will try to be as stubborn myself.
I will come after you, with my supple-jack,
unless you give me your word on this. And
another thing you must bear in mind. You
have taken your good Aunt's money for a
particular purpo-r^e ; and you will have had it
on false pretences, if you go on thus."
" I intend to use it for what she meant. I
would never have taken it otherwise. You
shall not complain of my sticking too close, but
rather of my absence. But I shall not draw my
weekly money from you, unless I have done a
good week's work. To-morrow I shall do veiy
little, because I am going to London. To-
284 KIT AND KITTY.
night I shall work for an hour or two, because
I have a job to finish. And I will look in,
when you are having 3^our last pipe."
There was every promise of a fruitful season,
though not without plenty to grumble at, for I
never knew a season good all round, such as
more favoured countries have. After getting
myself into working trim, I left my lonely little
dwelling, with the front door so arranged that
any one who knew the trick could enter without
knocking. And in the kitchen fireplace — for
I never used the parlour now — I left a little
coke alight, so that it would smoulder on for
hours, and could soon, with the aid of wood
and coal, be nursed into glow enough to boil
the kettle, which stood ready upon the hob.
For I always fancied, when I went to work,
that I might find my wife, when I should come
home, making it a home for me once more, and
listening to the singing of the kettle. And I
left the lane-door unfastened too, that she might
have no trouble to get in.
Somehow or other, I seemed to feel that
something strange would befall me that night,
but I went about my work as usual. I had a
large peach-tree to go over, for the second time
that season, fetching every shoot into place,
BEHIND THE FIDDLE. 285
checking or sometimes cutting out the over-
coarse and sappy growth, nipping every
blistered leaf, removing the fruit, where it grew
too thick or had no chance of sw^elling, and
offering the many other small attentions, with-
out which fine fruit may not be. And outside
the border on the gravel walk I had the
garden engine full of water for the nightly
bath, which fruit and foliage in warm weather
love, as much as vermin hate it.
The sun had been down for an hour or more,
and the dusk was deepening into night, and
I was just at the point of leaving off for fear
of hammering the wrong sort of nail — when I
heard a little sound, like the scraping of a twig,
and turning my head, without any great hurry,
beheld, as distinctly as I see this paper, the face
of a man looking steadfastly at me. It was a
large and solid face, as calm and unmoved as
the full moon appears rising out of the haze on
a fine summer night.
I could see no hat above the face, nor any
human figure below it, only a face looking
through a gap in a clipped arhor vitce tree,
about fifteen yards from where I stood. It was
gazing at me quite serenely, and as if I were
hardly worth the trouble.
286 KIT AND KITTY.
Through all the time of my long distress, I
. had wholly lost the sense of fear — bodily fear
I mean, and nervous trembling, such as brave
men have. This had surprised me more than
once ; things that used to make me jump had
not the least effect on me. The reason was
simply that my life was not of the smallest
value to me. And I wondered that I was not
frightened now, because I knew that I ought
to be.
Without even taking my hammer up, I
leaped across the border, to seize this fellow ;
but my foot caught in something, and down
I went. A heavy garden-line had been left,
stretched along by one of our men, who had
been " making up the edge " that day. I knew
it was there, but had not thought of it in my
hurry ; and now I was lame in both knees for
a minute, for the shock had been very violent.
At first I thought that my left leg was broken ;
but after a bit of rubbing it got better, and I
hobbled towards the Thuja tree, which had
been clipped into the shape of a fiddle by Bill
Tompkins.
I dragged myself round it ; but saw no one,
nor even a footprint in the waning of the light ;
neither was there any sound among the trees
BEHIND THE FIDDLE. 287
beyond it. Wondering greatly, and very angry
with the fellow who had left the line there,,
I collected my tools with some difficulty, and
was obliged to leave the tree unsyringed.
Then, as I went stiffly home, I thought of the
fuss my Kitty would have made, to see me in
that bleeding hobble; and if I was weak in
body through it, I fear that I was weaker still
in mind.
288 KIT AND KITTY.
CHAPTER XX.
THE GREAT LADY.
At this time, I slept, or lay down to sleep, on a
couple of good-sized chairs in the kitchen, witli
a cushion laid along them, which had come from
my Uncle's pew in Sunbury Church. He had
established a new cushion there, on the strength
of my marriage and Kitty's good clothes ; and
the old one, being stuffed with sound horsehair,
was not to be despised when upside down. And
to save all risk of rolling oif, I set it against the
front legs of the dresser. The door of the room
was left wide open, and the front door also,
unless the night was windy ; for I had nothing,
to lose, having lost my all ; and I only wished
that anybody would come and try to rob me. It
would have been bad for him, unless he had been
either Hercules, or Ulysses ; for I was armed
with recklessness, and eager to tackle any open
foe. Nervousness (such as a happy man may
THE GREAT LADY. 289
feel, when he hears a strangle noise in the dead
of the night) was an unknown power to me
now, and I would have fought, like a bull-dog
in his own kennel, and enjoyed it. This was
not the proper turn of mind for a young man
to indulge in. That I knew as well as could
be ; but the blame lay elsewhere.
Although I was very stiff and sore from the
bruises of that awkward fall. I went at daylight
to examine the place, where that stranger must
have stood. The ground was dry and hard
just there ; but I found enough to show me that
I had not been deceived by any trick of the
imagination. Not only had the soil been
trodden by a foot unlike my own, but the
thick mat of the Thuja tree had some of the
lobed leaves (which compijsed it and stood toge-
ther like moss compressed), ruffled and crushed
into one another, as if by the thrust of a heavy
form. Then I went to tlie place where I had
stood over against the peach-tree, and put my
hat on a nail to represent my height, and
returning to the clipped tree gazed through the
nick of the fiddle at it, just as the face had
gazed at me. I was obliged to stoop, to bring
my eyes to the level at which those eyes had
been ; which showed that my visitor had been
VOL. II. u
290 KIT AND KITTY.
of some three or four inches lower stature, prob-
ably not more than five feet ten.
I could not trace his footsteps far, nor make
out what kind of boots he wore, except that
there was no sign of hob-nails, such as all our
workmen had. It struck me that a man with
such a face was not very likely to hurry himself,
and the ground bore no traces of hasty flight,
neither were the branches of the plum-trees
(through which he must have retreated) broken.
Probably he had retired at his leisure, while I
was disabled from following. There were no
sig-ns of entrance to be discovered at or near
the door into Love Lane ; all our men had left
work at the time of his visit, and no one had
seen any stranger.
What on earth had he come for, was the
question which arose, and could not be answered.
There was nothing much to steal just there,
for none of the tree-fruit was ripe ; and though
darkness forbade entire certainty, I felt pretty
sure that the owner of that face would call
himself a gentleman. It seemed to me better
upon the whole to say nothing about the matter,
for my Uncle would probably laugh at it, as
the product of my imagination ; and as for the
Police, I knew too well that they would make
THE GREAT LADY. 291
nothing out of it. Only it was evident to my
mind that this little adventure had some bearing
on my trouble ; and in spite of the dusk, I could
swear to that face, wherever I should come
across it.
My Uncle would have stopped me from going
to London, on account of the injuries which I
could not hide, for my hands as well as my
knees were cut. But I went by the 'bus, being
very lame as yet, and unable to walk without
aid of a stick. Mrs. Wilcox received me very
kindly, and I was glad to find her business
thriving, and the sharp boy released from the
pots, and growing very useful at the counter.
" It has done him a deal of good, indeed it
has, Mr. Kit," she said, when I ventured to hint
that his employment had not been elevating ;
" he knows every soul it is safe to give tick to ;
and as for bad shillings, of which I had a
dozen, not one have we took since he come back.
Ah, what a tradesman he will make ! But now,
sir, about your poor dear self. No one to stitch
your knees better than that — ah, the righteous
is always punished in this earth."
I told her exactly how things stood — that
everything was as dark as ever, that the neigh-
bourhood had been searched in vain (as might
292 KIT AND KITTY.
have been expected), that one or two false clues
had been followed, not by myself, but by the
Police, and that now I meant to take the matter
entirely into my own hands, as I should have
done at first except for a private reason, which
I told het", to wit the disappearance of the
money. She was angry that this should have
been allowed to hinder me even for a day. But
when I told her how it weighed upon my
spirits, and seemed to show that my wife was
not at all in her duty to me, Mrs. Wilcox sided
with me, and said that every one must do the
same, whether I were right in the end or wrong.
And then I asked her what she thought ; and
she said that she was afraid to say.
" Not that I don't know her, sir," she proceeded
when she saw my disappointment ; " as well as
the inside of my own shoe, having had her
almost from the bottle, and cut the best of her
teeth on my own thumb. But they changes so,
when they falls in love, as I know from my own
experience, though going on then for thirty-five,
that to make a prediction comes back on the
mouth. I began it already ; but it turned out
wrong ; and I said to myself — ' If j^ou want to
be considered above the average, as you always
was, you better wait, and see how the cat jumps
TBE GREAT LADY. 293
first.' For that is the way of the women, sir,
in general."
I was not in the mood to be satisfied with
this, especially as she had said the same thing
to my Uncle, as late as last Sunday. And
gradually, by coaxing her to begin, and then
contradicting her upon some little point of fact,
I knew her opinions even better than ray own,
for my own had less to go upon. For it must
be borne in mind that most of what I have
entered about Sir Cumberleigh Hotchpot, and Mr.
Donovan Bulwrag, comes from knowledge which
I obtained long afterwards ; and none of it was
in my mind as yet, beyond what my Uncle
Corny, and Sam Henderson, had said, and the
little that had been dropped by Kitty, who had
scarcely had three weeks as yet to talk.
" Well, I shall do this," I said at last to Mrs.
Wilcox ; "you have told me many things which
will enable me to get on. Nothing can be
worse than things are now ; and the greatest
enemy I have got — if I am good enough to
have an enemy — cannot say that I have shown
impatience. I have felt enough of it ; but nobody
knows but myself how close I have kept it. I
mean to make no disturbance now ; but I shall
just go and see the great lady."
294 KIT AND KITTY.
" You'd better not, sir," cried Mrs. Wilcox ;
" you would be like a dummy, if she chose to
speak out, and the humour might be on her.
And you can't get nothing out of her, except
hard knocks."
" Hard words break no bones, any more than
soft ones butter parsnips. I shall go and see
her, if I can, and tlmt villain of a son of hers
as well. It is my duty to discover where my
Kitty's father is."
" She won't see you, Mr. Kit ; unless it is to
triumph over you. She loves doing that, when
any one is down. But you won't have a chance
of seeing Mr. Downy. They say he is out of
the country altogether, though my little Teddy
swears he saw him Sunday night, and I never
knew him go wrong about a face before. But
he must be wrong this time, if there is any
truth in words. And generally always he
comes down this road, whenever he is at home."
" At any rate, I shall ask for him. By the
by, what is he like, if I should chance to meet
him ? "
" He have a great square face, sir, like
the front of a big head, with a lot of sandy
hair both above it and below. And he comes
along the road with his eyes half-shut, just as if
THE GREAT LADY. 295
there was nothing worth looldng at. And his
eyes are as yellow as new-run honey, and a
few butter-spots upon his cheeks, where you can
see them. He is a square-built young man, not
so tall as you, but thicker ; and his legs come
after him as he walks, and he looks as if he
never could be in a hurry."
" Thank you. I think I ought to know him
now. It will be ray own fault, if I don't. Not
a pleasant man to look at, if you do him justice,
Mrs. Wilcox. No wonder that people don't
seem to like him very much."
" Ever so much worse to deal with, than
he is to look at, Mr. Kit. Keep out of his way,
sir, that's my advice. I believe he is at the
bottom of your trouble somehow. Though
what good he can get out of it surpasses me."
After begging her to keep a sharp look-out,
and to send for me at once if she saw anything
suspicious, I made the best of my way towards
" Bulwrag Park," and was amazed at the
change a few months had wrought. All the
wilderness of work stood thick with houses, all
the sloughs of despond were firm hard roads,
young trees were in leaf where surveyor's flags
had waved, and public-houses blazed with glass
and gilt, where bricks had smouldered. The
296 KIT AND KITTY.
G-reat Exhibition was in full swing-, and the
long streets were alive with cabs and broughams.
However the old house still looked grim, and
gaunt, in its dark retirement, and the Scotch
firs near it were as black as ever ; and I passed
with a throbbing heart the bay-tree, which had
sheltered my love and myself from the snow.
I ventured to gather a spray of this, and put it
as a keepsake beside my Prayer-book.
After two or three rings, I was admitted, and
shown into the place I knew so well, and it
seemed to my fancy to be glistening still with
the tearful eyes of my darling. Then Miss
Geraldine, the younger and more gentle of the
daughters, came and looked at me with some
surprise, and said that she would show me
where her mother was, and I followed her into
a morning room.
The great lady looked as well as ever, and
received me with a stateliness which reminded
me of her sister. She was beautifully dressed,
so far as I could judge, and seemed in high
good humour, and inclined to patronise me.
" Mr. Orchardson, I think you said, my dear ?
Mr. Orchardson, who married our poor Kitty.
Well, Mr. Orchardson, I hope that you are
happy. But surely — surely she did not do
THE GREAT LADY. 297
this? And if slie did, you must not appeal to
lis. Sometimes she forgot herself— but still —
and quite in the honeymoon — no, I am sure it
cannot be."
I was determined not to be provoked, although
it was very hard upon me. This violent woman
was pretending to believe that the scratches on
my face, from last night's fall, were inflicted by
my dear wife's nails. I did not condescend to
answer that ; and I was certain that she knew
I had no Kittv now.
" I have ventured to intrude upon you," I
said, " upon a matter of important business,
Madam. To ask if you will kindly tell me how
I can send a letter, so as to reach Captain
Fairthorn. He is at sea, I know, upon a
voyage of exploration, or something like that ;
and it may be very difficult to communicate
with him. But I have a very important
message "
"Nothing amiss with your poor wife, I hope.
Oh, I should be so grieved, if there were any-
thing of that sort. She was flighty and wild ;
but with all her faults, there was much that was
good about her. You could never see it,
Geraldine, as I did. Please don't tell me, Mr.
Orchardson, that after all your goodness to her
298 KIT AND KITTY.
— for few would have married her knowing
what she was — she has had the heart to deceive
you."
" No, she has never deceived me, Madam ;
there is no deceit in her nature. But — but for
some good reason doubtless, — for the present she
has left me."
No one can tell what it cost me to drag out
these words to her arch enemy, who was taking
them in, like a draught of nectar, not only for
the fact — wliich she had known when it occurred
■ — but for the anguish they were costing me.
But she kept her countenance, like a mighty
actress, that she might quaff her enjoyment at
leisure to the dregs.
" I cannot understand what you say, Mr.
Orchardson. It is simply impossible that poor
Kitty, that your bride, that your dear wife you
were so wrapped up in, should — should have
run away from you,"
"I cannot say whether she ran, or walked,
or how she went — but she is gone."
" You astound me. Geraldine, you had
better leave the room. Such things are not
fit for good young girls to listen to. Now, Mr.
Orchardson, tell me all about it. But first
accept my sincere condolence. Although, as
THE GREAT LADY. 299
jou know, I was against the marriage, mainly
for your sake, I can assure you. I knew her so
well — but so soon, oh, so soon ! I could not
have expected it, even of her. And did she
inflict these sad wounds, before she went ? A
tender remembrance ? Oh, it is so sad ! But
one thing I must beg of you — do not be soured
by it. Do not conclude, as most young men
would — that all women are bad, because this
one has proved so ungrateful to you. And
after seven years of desertion, I believe, you
will be at liberty to take a better wife."
" I want no better wife. There could be no
better wife. I love her with all my heart, in
spite of this mistake. And I will never look at
another woman, while I live."
" What a noble husband ! How could she
run away ? And doubtless with some ignoble
wretch — no other would have taken her from
your arms. But when did it happen ? Do tell
me all about it. And who has supplanted you,
so very, very quickly ? One would hardly
believe it in any story-book. And you so
devoted — oh, how your heart must ache ! Do
let me order you a glass of wine."
" No wine, thank you. And I cannot tell
the story, which would only increase your
300 KIT AND KITTY.
affliction, Madam. Only one thing, in justice
to my wife. No one has supplanted me in her
affection. She is as true to me, as I am to her.
She has been misled by some despicable trick.
And, by the God in heaven, I will kill the man
who did it."
" No horrible oaths before me, young man ! "
Her face, lips and all, turned as white as a
sheet, as I spoke with the whole fury of my
soul in voice and eyes, — the wrath of a quiet
man wronged of his life.
Then we gazed into one another's eyes, until
she was obliged to turn away.
" I could not expect you to have good
manners," she said, after sitting down, and
expecting me to begin ; " if you behaved like
this, before your wife, there might be some
excuse for her running away. She has been
used to the society of gentlemen."
" And that she has had in a humble way,
since she became my wife. You must thank
yourself for what I said ; for you laboured to
goad me up to it. And I mean it, Madam. I
spoke with no profanity. I am not given to
swearing. Whoever has done me this foul
wrong has ruined my life, and shall pay for it
with his own. Give him warning of this, if
THE GREAT LADY. 301
you know who lie is. I have nothing more to
say than that."
Fear for the moment overcame her fury.
And I left that house, with the firm conviction
that my misery, as well as my happiness, had
proceeded from it.
302 KIT AND KITTY,
CHAPTER XXL
MET AGAIN.
Hotchpot Hall has been a fine old place, as any
one would say who looks at it ; and it would have
been a fine place still, if the owners had been
of like quality. " It taketh its name," says an
old County book, " from a very ancient rule of
law, that if sisters be in coparcenary, as
heiresses to landed estate, and one of them hath
from the same source a several estate by frank-
marriage, she shall (as is just and seemly) bring
that into hotchpot, which signifieth a mixture
for a pudding, ere ever she can enjoy rights
with the rest."
Whether that be correct or otherwise, is far
beyond my power to say, for I know not what
" frank-marriage " is — nor for the matter of
that " coparcenary " — but at any rate there
stands the house, which savours in some degree
of a pudding, being built of many-coloured
MET AGAIN. 303
stones ; and the people for several generations
have taken their name from this old place.
Though it stands in the midst of a flat and
dreary country, with good corn-land spread
among desert fens, and fewer and smaller trees
than ours — for the glory of Middlesex is the
noble elms — yet the house has the advantage of
a fine rise towards it, and a wide and open view
for many miles across the level. This gives it
the air of an important mansion, and one that
deserves to be kept in good repair. But for
three generations now, the owners had been
coming down in the world, by reason of bad
times, as they themselves declared, but as
anybody else would say, of their own badness.
Till the last successor had scarcely the right
to call himself the owner.
Sir Cumberleigh Hotchpot was of good
descent, if name may stand for nature, on his
mother's as well as his father's side ; for his
mother had been Lady Frances Cumberleigh,
the daughter of a North-country Earl. But she
had brought no increase to the family estates,
and had rather assisted to lessen them. And
her son had pursued the same course, by
gambling, and a dissipated and rambling life.
It was only by sufferance now that he dwelt,
304 KIT AND KITTY.
when he fled from London creditors, in one
wing of the old house, till some one could be
found, who would take it upon a repairing
lease, for it could not be sold to advantage.
This baronet was cunning, though he was not
wise ; and in spite of all misfortune he relied
on little tricks to keep himself going, while he
still hoped to indulge in devices on a larger
scale, to fetch himself round. He took good
care to reap his gains with the keenest prompti-
tude, while he left his losses to be_ gleaned by
very tardy process. And this had tended, more
than once, to impair his popularity.
Sam Henderson came and said to me, while I
was thinking what next to do, after getting the
better of one enemy — " Would you like to see
old Crumbly Pots ? " Sam had been making
money lately, and scorned anybody who could
not pay up — " It might do some good, and can
do no harm. He is ducking his head among
his moats and meres, because he was hard hit at
Ascot. He owes me five ponies ; he was ass
enough to back that cur Sylvester^ a nag who
lays his ears back, the moment he is collared.
I am pretty flush now, and I don't care to
squeeze him; but I'm going to the July, for
•one more spree, before being tethered finally.
MET AGAIN. 305
He won't dare to show his mug there ; but you
and I could toddle on to his earth, afterwards."
I told Sam plainly that I did not understand
the meaning of his overture. But he only
replied — " Then the more fool you. Can you
understand this — I am going to the July meet-
ing at Newmarket, where the best two-year-
olds of the season come out, and you may see
five or six of old Chalker's string. It would do
you a deal of good to see them, and take your
mind out of your own hat ; though you don't
know a race-horse from your old Spanker. If
you like to come with me, I will stand Sam,
according to the meaning of my name and
nature. I shall make another hatful of money
there, for cockering up the bridesmaids, and
that sort of thing ; and after that, we might
rout up old Hotchpot."
I perceived that Sam's meaning was most
friendly ; and after consulting Uncle Corny,
who thought that I sadly wanted change of
scene, and a little more experience of the world,
I arranged to go with Sam to Head-quarters, as
he called it, and after the racing should be over,
to proceed to Hotchpot Hall, in Lincolnshire.
Sam could procure me admittance there ; and I
longed to come face to face with my old rival.
VOL. n. X
306 KIT AND KITTY.
With the racing I was pleased, as any man
must he at beholding noble animals, and hoping
that the best of them may win. Of the
thousand guiles and wiles, that defraud them of
fair play, I was happy enough to know nothing,
and believed that the two legs across them were
as honest as their four. Yet I wondered some-
times ; and it proved how little one may judge
of quality by appearance, and how true the
Holy Scriptures are, when the horse that seemed
likely to be last came first.
Of Sam I saw little ; for he was too busy,
going the round both of stables and of houses,
and forming opinion less by eyes than ears, and
most of all by his own conscience, which told
him how he would have acted in the position
of the rest. Sara had a conscience not only
nimble, but extremely sensitive, which enabled
him to judge that of other sporting men
perhaps less highly gifted. For these he
charitably made allowance, forgiving their
defects when he pocketed their money.
" I have not done so badly," he said on
Friday night ; " I made a fine hit through old
Eoper. That old chap is worth a mint to me,
for I know every twist of his grand old mind.
The Professionals were cocksure that Columbine
MET AGAIN. 307
was meant, and she could not have lost, if she
had been. How much have you won. Kit ? I
put you up neatly. You might have made a
hundred, without risk of a hair."
" Well, I only bet half a crown, and that I
lost. I think Spanker could have beaten most
of them. They don't seem to me to go at any
pace at all."
" That is what a greenhorn always thinks.
If you were on their backs you would soon find
out the difference. Well, let's have some
supper, and be off by the night mail. But you
look queer. Have you met any one you know,
old chap ? "
" Not a soul that I know, except Mr.
Chalker ; and I only know him by sight. But
this afternoon, I saw a face that I have seen
before, though I have no idea who the owner is.
I looked for you to tell me, but I could not find
you."
" Yery likely not. I went to see the
saddling. You seem in a way about it. What
makes you take it up so ? "
Upon this I told Henderson about the man,
who had gazed at me so, through the clipped
Arbor vitce ; and that now I had seen the same
man in the throng on the Heath, and could
308 KIT AND KITTY.
swear to him anywhere. At first he was
inclined to laugh, and thought I must have
dreamed it ; but seeing how serious and positive
I was, he naturally asked how it was I let him
go, without at least ascertaining who he was.
I told him that I had done my best ; and that
I believed the man knew me ; for our eyes met
point-blank, nntil he turned his away. And
then I had pushed through the crowd to seize
him, but a fat man on horseback came clearing
the course, and a rush of some hundreds of
people swept us back, and when I could get out
of it, the man had disappeared. I described
him and his dress, to the best of my ability ;
and then Sam gave a whistle, and said — " I
don't think it can be. He can scarcely have
been here, without my knowledge."
" You recognize him ? Who is he ? " I asked
with some excitement. " Don't keep it back,
Sam. It is most important to me."
"Well, the face, and the hat, and the green
pearl in the scarf-pin remind me uncommonly
of Downy Bulwrag ; though I do not know
him very well ; and it can hardly be. He is
out of England, I am told ; and if he had been
here, I should have met him in the ring. For
he always comes to bet, and he is a very deep
MET AGAIN. 309
file, though he knows very little of racing. He
comes to invest for old Pot sometimes ; and it
is the only time Pot ever makes any money."
" But he may have gone off, when he saw
me," I said ; " he would hardly dare to run the
risk of meeting me again."
" Wouldn't he ? It would take ten of you
to drive him. Downy Bulwrag is the coolest
hand I ever came across. I give him a wide
berth myself; for there is nothing but bad luck
to be made out of him. He is worse than his
mother, a thousand times ; and everybody knows
what she is. I am very glad you missed him.
For he would have had the best of you."
" Would he indeed ? " I exclaimed rather
hotly. " I am not a milksop, Sam ; and I fear
no man on earth, when I have reason to believe
that he has wronged me."
" You are strong enough. Kit," Sam returned,
with some contempt ; " we are all aware of
that, my friend. You are stronger, I dare say,
than Downy Bulwrag, although he is no
chicken. But he is one of the first boxers in
England. He has made a hobby of it. He
can hold his own with the biggest prize-fighters.
He could double you up, before you got near
him. And it is not only that, my boy. Likely
310 KIT AND KITTY.
enough, he would not have touched you ; for he
never loses his temper, they say. He would
have had you up before the Bench to-morrow.
He can always put anybody in the wrong.
And then how should we have gone on to-
night ? No, it was a lucky thing that you got
no chance to tackle him, supposing it was
Downy, which I scarcely can believe. All the
fellows are gone who could have told me. But
I dare say I shall find out in London. Now
let us have some grub, or we shall miss our
train."
Sam Henderson's words set me pondering
deeply. I had not intended to assault that
stranger, whoever he might be, but just to
bring him to a halt, and make him tell me who
he was, and what he meant by coming on the
sly into my Uncle's garden, and watching me
in that peculiar manner. Now I felt pretty
certain as to who he was, in spite of the
difficulties Sam had found about it. If my
description tallied so closely with that of
Donovan Bulwrag, it was likely to be no one
else who had come so to spy upon me. For
there was the motive at once made plain. The
man, who had robbed me of my wife, would
naturally come to see how I bore it, to learn
MET AGAIN. 311
perhaps what sort of adversary I was, and to
gloat upon my lonely misery. I felt delighted
when I called to mind that I had indulged in
no sighs or soliloquy that evening, but worked
away steadily and even cheerfully, whistling
every now and then for company to myself.
My deadly enemy could not say — " Poor devil,
how miserable he looks ! "
And then why should I have such a bitter
enemy ? I had never done harm to this Bul-
wrag, except by marrying a young lady upon
whom he had set his wicked heart, but who
never would have had him, whatever he had
done. And again I had defied his mother, and
thrown her into one of her furious fits ; but
even if he had heard of that, it could not have
moved him to any great wrath. From all I
had heard, he was not so very deeply attached
to his mother ; and he must know, as everybody
else did, how little was enough to infuriate her.
As I thought of all these things in the train,
with Sam Henderson snoring, or rather roaring
in his sleep (like a celebrated horse who had
won a race that day), the only conclusion I
could come to was that my case was more
mysterious than ever; that some fiendish trick
had been played upon my wife and me; but
312 KIT AND KITTY.
how, and why, and by whom, was more than
my simple, half-educated, country wits could
discover as yet, or perhaps at any future time.
Nevertheless I resolved to go on, and get to the
end of it, whether round or square ; whether it
might be another sweet circle of happiness, or
a cofiSn. And in this state of mind, being
lifted for the moment out of the body, by the
hoisting of the mind, I set my hands together
— for it was a first-class carriage, and there
was room to do it, though it seemed to me a
showy thing upon the part of Sam, when third-
class tickets would have done as well — and [
prayed to the Lord, which I had not done lately,
having found it lead to nothing, that He would
interfere, and not allow everything to be under
the control of the Evil one. After that I felt
better ; for faith is a fruit-tree, which requires
(in a common soil) the choicest cultivation.
" Here we are," cried Sam, who could sleep
by the mile, and be wide awake at the direction-
post ; " what a heavy-headed chap you are !
Just look to our bags, while I see about a trap.
We have five miles to drive, and then we put
up at old Cranky 's. There we have a shake-
down, and I fare to want it, as the folk in this
part of the world express it. They all know
MET AGAIN. 313
me liere, and they have a black mare who can
travel."
For five miles we drove through a sleepy-
looking land, with scarcely anybody yet astir,
but a multitude of birds quite wide awake ; and
then we put up at a wayside inn ; where Sam
seemed, as usual, to be well-known. He told
me to take it easy, and he set a fine example ;
for he very soon peopled the house with his
sleep, while I wandered about to see how the
land lay.
" Pots is never up till twelve o'clock," Sam
explained at breakfast-time ; " so you see we
may just as well keep our hay in cocks. I say.
Cranky," he addressed the landlord, who was
coming in and out, having no maid to attend to
us, " What's-his-name been down this way
lately ? Fancied we saw something of him
yesterday."
" No, sir, not a sign of him, since you was
here last. They don't seem to hit it off together
as they did. Leastways that was what my
Missus heard."
" More chance of honest people coming by
their due. How much does Sir Cumberleiirh
owe you. Cranky ? Take thy bill, and write
down quickly."
314 KIT AND KITTY.
" Lor', sir, it would take a week to make it
out. And wliat good would come of it when
done ? Sir Cumberleigli never pay nobody.
No more than his father before him." It were
vain on my part to attempt to express the long-
suffering of Mr. Cranky's drawl.
" These are wonderful fellows," Sam declared
aloud to me, while the landlord looked at him,
as if to say — " And so are you," and then turned
to me to see if I were likewise ; " they never
seem to expect to get their money from their
betters, as they call them. That cock would
never fight, in our part of the world. Any lady
been down at the Hall, this summer. Cranky ?
I mean any one, who has never been before ?
You need not be afraid of telling me, you know.
I am an old friend of Sir Cumberleigh."
This question was put in such a common sort
of way, that I dropped my knife and fork, and
looked furiously at Sara. For I knew what he
meant ; and it appeared to me too bad.
" No, sir," answered Cranky, leaning over him
confidentially, as if he were uncertain about
speaking before me. " None but the two as
come last winter ; and not so very much of them.
My Missus did hear as Sir Cumberleigh were
going to pull up, and to enter into holy matri-
MET AGAIN. 315
raony with a beautiful young lady from London
town, as had sixty thousand pounds of her own,
and then we should all be paid on the nail in
full. And the Hall was to be made new, and
I know not what. But I said it was too good to
be true, and so it seemeth."
" Hope for ever, good Cranky. Hope can do
no harm to the Hotchpot Arms. But how goes
the time ? We are going to, call upon this
reformed gentleman, as soon as he is up."
END OF VOL. II.
LONDON: PKINTED BY W1LI,1.^M CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED,
STAMFOUD STREET ANU CIIAKING CKOSS.
This book is DUE on the last date stamped below
Form L-9-15m-7,'31
:^fi^m^imS^^^i^S^i»imJ»:
PR
4152
K64
Blackraore -
Kit and Kitty.
liiiiBi.
TJNIVERSITY of CALTFORKIA
AT
LOS ANGELES
LIBRARY
