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By the same Author, 

THE BIBLE IN SPAIN; or, The Journeys, Ad- 
ventures, and Imprisonments of an Englishman 
in an attempt to circulate the Scriptures in the 
P^eninsula. Fourth Edition. 3 vols, post 8vo. 27«. 

THE ZINCALI; or, An Account of the Gypsies 
of Spain, with an original Collection of their Songs 
and Poetry, and a copious Dictionary of their Lan- 
guage. Third Edition. 2 vols, post 8vo. 18«. 

*iii* The above Works may also be obtained in a cheap 
form, Post Svo, 6s. each. 

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Elastic Step. — ^Disooiuolate Party. — Not the Season. — 
Mend your Draught. — Good Ale. — Crotchet. — Hammer 
and Tongs.— Schoolmaster. — True Eden Life. — Flaming 
Tinman. — Twice my Size.— Hard at Work. — ^My poor Wife. 
—Grey MolL— -A Bible,— Half and Halt— What to do.— 
Half inclined. — In no Time. — On one Condition. — ^Don't 
stare. — Like the Wind 1 


Efiects of Com.— One Night longer.— The Hoofe.— A 
Stumble. — Are you hurt 1 — What a DiflTerence. — ^Drowsy. — 
Maze of Bushes. — Housekeeping. — Sticks and Furze. — The 
Driftway.— Account of Stock. — Anvil and Bellows. — Twenty 
Years . . . . 28 


New Profession. — Beautiful Night.— Jupiter.~Sharp and 
shrill. — The Rommany Chi. — All alone. — Three and Six- 
pence. — ^What is Rommany? — Be civil. — Parraco Tute. — 
SUghtStart— She wiU be grateful.— The RustUng . . 87 

VOL. ni. b 

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Friend of Slingsby. — All quiet. — Banger. — ^The two Cakes. 
— Children in the Wood. — Don't be angry. — In deep 
Thought. — Temples throbbing. — Deadly sick. — Another 
Blow. — ^No Answer. — How old are you ]— Play and Sacrar 
ment. — Heavy Heart. — Song of Poison. — ^Drow of Gypsies. 
—The Dog.— Ely's Church,--Get up, Bebee.— The Vehicle. 
—Can you speak'1— The Oil 60 


Desired Effect — The three Oaks.— Winifred.— Things of 
Time.— With God'a Will.— The Preacher Creature Com- 
forts. — Croesaw. — Welsh and English. — Mayor of Chester . 72 


Morning Hymn. — Much alone. — John Bunyan. — Beholden 
to Nobody. — Sixty-five. — Sober Greeting. — Early Sabbaths. 
Finny Brood.^The Porch. — No Fortune-telling. — The 
Master's Niece. — Doing Good. — Two or three Things. — 
Groans and Voices. — Pechod Ysprydd Glan . . .82 


The following Day. — Pride. — ^Thriving Trade Tylwyth 

Teg. — ^Ellis Wyn. — Sleeping Bard. — Incalculable Good. — 
Fearfiil A^ony.— The Tale ..... .97 


Taking a Cup.— Getting to Heaven. — After Breakfast. — 
Wooden Gallery. — Mechanical Habit. — Reserved and 
gloomy. — Last Words. — A long Time. — From the Clouds. 
— Ray of Hope. — Momentary Chill. — Pleasing Anticipa- 
tion 106 

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Hasty Farewell. — Lofty Rock.— WreBtlings of Jacob. — No 
Reat-r-Waye of Providence. — Two Females. — Foot of the 
Cross. — Enemy of Souls. — Perplexed. — Lucky Hour. — Va- 
letudinarian. — Methodists. — Fervent in Prayer. — You 
Saxons, — ^Weak Creatures. — Yeiy agreeable. — Almost 
happy.— Kindness and Solicitude 118 


Oetting late. — Seven Years old. — Chastening. — Go forth. 
— London Bridge. — Same Byes. — Common Occurrence. — 
Very sleepj 136. 


Low and calm. — Much better.; — Blessed Effect. — No An- 
swer. — Such a Sermon 144 


Deep Interest. — Goodly Country.— Two Mansions. — Welsh- 
man's Candle. — Beautiful Universe. — Godly Discourse. — 
Fine Church. — Points of Doctrine. — Strange Adventures. — 
Paltry Cause.— Roman Pontiff.— Evil Spirit . . .149 

The Border.— Thank you both.— Pipe and Piddle.— Talie- 



At a Funeral. — Two Days ago. — Very coolly. — Roman Wo- 
man^-rWell and hearty. — Somewhat dreary. — Plum Pud- 
ding. — ^Roman Fashion. — Quite different. — The dark Lane. 
— Beyond the Time. — Fine Fellow. — Such a Struggle. — 
Like a wild Cat. — Fair Play.— Pleasant enough Spot. — No 
Gloves 165 

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Offence and Defence. — I 'm estitsfied. — ^Fond of Solitude. — 
Possession of Property. ~<)hal Deylelii.--Winding Path . 182 


Highly poetical — Volundr. — Grecian Mythology. — Making 
a Petul.— Tongues of Flame. — Hammering. — Spite of Duk- 
kerin. — ^Heaviness 188 


Several Causes. — Progs and Bftes. — Gloom and Twilight. — 
What should I dol— " Our Pather."--Fellow Men.— What a 
Mercy ! — Almost calm. — ^Presh Store. — History of Saul. — 
Pitch dark 196 


Free and independent. — ^I don't see why. — Oats. — A 
Noise. — Unwelcome Visitors. — ^What 's the Matter 1 — Good 
Day to ye.— The tall Girl.— Doyrefeld.— Blow on the Face. 
— Civil enough. — What's this"? — Vulgar Woman. — ^Hands 
off. — Gasping for Breath. — Long Melford. — ^A pretty Ma- 
noeuvre. — A long Draught. — Signs of Animation. — ^It 
won't do.— No Malice.— Bad People 207 


At Tea. — Vapours. — Isopel Bemers. — Softly and kindly. — 
Sweet pretty Creature. — Bread and Water. — ^Two Sailors. — 
Truth and Constancy. — Very strangely .... 229 

Hubbub of Voices.— No Offence.— Nodding.— The Guests . 288 

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A BadicaL — Simple-looking Man. — Chorch of England.— 
The President — ^Aristocracy. — Gin and Water. — ^Mending 
the Boads. — ^Persecuting Church. — Simon de Montfort. — 
Broken Bells. — Get up. — ^Not for the Pope. — Quay of New 
York.— Mumpers' Dingle.— No Wish to fight.— First 
Draught.— A poor Rpe. — Half-a^rown broke . . . 242 


The Dingle. — Give them Ale. — Not over complimentaiy. 
—America. — Miuiy People. — Washington. — Promiscuous 
Company. — Language of the Beads. — The old Women.— 
Numerals— The Man in Black 260 


Baona Sera. — Bather apprehensive. — The stedp Bank.— 
Lovely Yirgin.^-Ho8pitality. — Tory Minister. — Custom of 
the Country. — Sneering Smile. — Wandering Zigan.— Gyp- 
sies' Cloaks. — Certain Faculty. — Acute Answer. — Various 
Ways.— Addio.— Best Hollands 271 


Excursions.— Adventurous English.— Opaque Forests.— The 
greatest Patience . . , 2S6 

The Landlord.— Bather too old.— Without a Shilling.— 
Reputation.- A Fortnight ago. — Liquids. — The main 
Chance. — ^Bespectability. — Irrational Beings. — Parliament 
Cove.— My Brewer 290 


Another Visit.— A la Margutte. — Clever Man. — Napoleon's 
Estimate. — ^Another Statue 801 

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Prerogative.— Feeling of Gratitude.— -A long History.— 
Alliterative Style.— Advantageous Specimen. — Jesuit Be- 
nefice.— Kot sufficient. — Queen Stork's Tragedy.— Gk)od 
Sense. — Grandeur and Gentility. — Ironmonger's Daughter. — 
Clan Mac-Sycophant— Lick-Spittles.— A Curiosity.— News- 
paper Edit6rB.—Charles the Simple.— High-flying Ditty.— 
Dissenters.— Lower Classes.— Priestley's House.— Saxon 

Ancestors. — Austin. — Renovating Glass. — Money. Quite 

Original gOg 


Wooded Retreat— Fresh Shoes. — Wood Fire. — ^Ash, when 
green. — Queen of China. — Cleverest People.— Declensions. 
— Armenian. — Thunder. — Deep Olive. — What do you 
meani— Koul Adonai.— The thick Bushes. — ^Wood Pigeon. 
—Old Gothe 881 


A Shout — A Fire-Bail. — See to the Horses. — Passing 
away. — Gap in the Hedge. — On three Wheels. — Why do 
you stop?— Ko craven Heart? — The Cordial. — ^Across the 
Country.— Small Bags . . . . ^. . .846 


Fire of Charcoal.— The New Comer.— No Wonder I— Not a 
Blacksmith.— A Love Affiiir. — Gretna Green. — A cool 
Thousand. — ^Family Estates. — Borough Interest — Grand 
Education. — Let us hear. — Already quarrelling. — Honour- 
able Parents. — Most heroically. — ^Not common People. — 
Fresh Charcoal . . » . . . , , .857 

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An Exordium. — Fine Ships. — ^High Barbaiy Capt&ins. — 
Free-bom Englishmen. — Monstrous Figure. — Swash-buck- 
ler. — The grand Coaches. — The Footmen. — A Travelling 
Expedition.— Black Jack. — Nelson's Cannon.— Pharaoh's 
Butler. — A Diligence. — ^Two Passengers. — Sharking Priest. 
— Virgilio. — Lessons in Italian. — Two Opinions. — Holy 
Mary. — ^Priestly Confederates.— Methodist Chapel.— Vetu- 
rini. — Some of our Party. — Like a Sepulchre. — All for 
themselyes 373 


A Cloister. — Half English.— New Acquaintance. — Mixed 
Liquors. — Turning Papist. — Purposes of Charity. — ^Foreign 
Religion. — Melancholy. — Elbowing and pushing. — Outland- 
ish Sight. — The Figure. — I don't care for you. — Merry 
Andrews. — ^One Good. — Religion of my Country.— Fellow 
of Spirit. — ^A Dispute. — The next Morning. — Female 
Doll. — Proper Dignity.— Fetish Country . . . .398 


Nothing but Gloom.— Sporting Character. — Gouty Tory. — 
Servants' Club.— Politics. — Reformado Footman.— Perora- 
tion — Good Nig^t 419 

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After walking some time, I found myself on the 
great road, at the same spot where I had tamed aside 
the day hefore with my new-made acquaintance, in 
the direction of his house. I now continued my 
journey as before, towards the north. The weather, 
though beautiful, was much cooler than it had been 
for some time past ; I walked at a great rate, with a 
springing and elastic step. In about two hours I 
came to where a kind of cottage stood a httle way 
back from the road, with a huge oak before it, 
under the shade of which stood a little pony and a 
cart, which seemed to contain vafious articles. I 

^^ VOL. III. B 

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was going past — when I saw scrawled over the door 
of the cottage, " Good beer sold here ;" upon which, 
feeling myself all of a sudden very thirsty, I deter- 
mined to go in and taste the beverage. 

I entered a well-sanded kitchen, and seated my- 
self on a bench, on one side of a long white table ; 
the other side, which was nearest to the wall, was 
occupied by a party, or rather family, consisting of 
a grimy-looking man, somewhat under the middle 
size, dressed in faded velveteens, and wearing a 
leather apron — a rather pretty- looking woman, but 
sun-burnt, and meanly dressed, and two ragged 
children, a boy and girl, about four or five years 
old. The man sat with his eyes fixed upon the 
table, supporting his chin with both his hands; the 
woman, who was next him, sat quite still, save that 
occasionally she turned a glance upon her husband 
with eyes that appeared to have been lately crying. 
The children had none of the vivacity so general at 
their age. A more disconsolate family I had never 
seen; a mug, which, when filled, might contain 
hedf-a-pint, stood empty before them ; a very dis- 
consolate party indeed. 

*' House !" said I; "House!" and then as nobody 

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appeared, I cried again as loud as I could, '' House! 
do you hear me. House !" 

''What's your pleasure, young man?" said an 
elderly woman, who now made her appearance from 
a side apartment. 

" To taste your ale," said T. 

" How much ?" said the woman, stretching out 
her hand towards the empty mug upon the table. 

" The largest measure-full in your house," said I, 
putting back her hand gently. '* This is not the 
season for half-pint mugs." 

" As you will, young man," said the landlady ; 
and presendy brought in an earthen pitcher which 
might contain about three pints, and which foamed 
and frothed withal. 

*' Will this pay for it?" said I, putting down six- 

** I have to return you a penny," said the land- 
lady, puttiag her hand into her pocket 

*' I want no change," said I, flourishing my hand 
with an air. 

** As you please, young gentleman," said the land- 
lady, and then making a kind of curtsey, she again 
retired to the side apartment. 

B 2 

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" Here is your health, sir," said 1 to the grimy- 
looking man, as I raised the pitcher to my lips. 

The tinker, for such I supposed him to be, with- 
out altering his posture, raised his eyes, looked at 
me for a moment, gave a slight nod, and then once 
more fixed his eyes upon the table. I took a 
draught of the ale, which I found excellent; " wont 
you drink?" said I, holding the pitcher to the 

The man again lifted up his eyes, looked at me, 
and then at the pitcher, and then at me again. I 
thought at one time that he was about to shake his 
head in sign of refusal, but no, he looked once 
more at the pitcher, and the temptation was too 
strong. Slowly removing his head from his arms, 
he took the pitcher, sighed, nodded, and drank a 
tolerable quantity, and then set the pitcher down 
before me upon the table. 

" You had better mend your draught," said I to 
the tinker, " it is a sad heart that never rejoices." 

'' That 's true," said the tinker, and again raising 
the pitcher to his lips, he mended his draught as I had 
bidden him, drinking a larger quantity than before. 

** Pass it to your wife," said I. 

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Ch. I.] GOOD ALE. ft 

The poor woman took the pitcher from the man's 
hand; before^ however, raising it to her lips, she 
looked at the children. True mothers heart, 
thought I to myself, and taking the half-pint mug, 
I made her fill it, and then held it to the children, 
causing each to take a draught. The woman wiped 
her eyes with the comer of her gown, before she 
raised the pitcher and drank to my health. 

In about five minutes none of the family looked 
half so disconsolate as before, and the tinker and I 
were in deep discourses 

Oh, genial and gladdening is the power of good 
ale, the true and proper drink of Englishmen. He 
is not deserving of the name of Englishman who 
speaketh against ale, that is good ale, like that 
which has just made merry the hearts of this poor 
ffunily ; and yet there are beings, calling themselves 
Englishmen, who say that it is a sin to drink a cup 
of ale, and who, on coming to this passage will be 
tempted to fling down the book and exclaim, " The 
man is evidently a bad man, for behold, by his own 
confession, he is not only fond of ale himself, but is 
in the habit of tempting other people with it." Alas ! 
alas ! what a number of silly individuals there are 

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6 CROTCHET. [Ch. I. 

in this world ; I wonder what they would have had 
me do in this instance — given the afflicted family a 
cup of cold water ? go to ! They could have found 
water in the road, for there was a pellucid spring 
only a few yards distant from the house, as they 
were well aware — but they wanted not water ; what 
should I have given them? meat and bread? go 
to ! They were not hungry ; there was stifled 
sobbing in their bosoms, and the first mouth- 
ful of strong meat would have choked them. 
What should I have given them ? Money ! 
what right had I to insult them by offering them 
money? Advice! words, words, words; friends, 
there is a time for everything ; there is a time for a 
cup of cold water; there is a time for strong meat 
and bread ; there is a time for advice, and there is 
a time for ale ; and I have generally found that the 
time for advice is after a cup of ale. I do not aay 
many cups ; the tongue then speaketh more 
smoothly, and the ear listeneth more beuignantly ; 
but why do I attempt to reason with you? do I not 
know you for conceited creatures, with one idea — and 
that a foolish one ; — a crotchet, for the sake of which 
ye would saorifioe anything, religion if required — 

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country ? There, fling down my book, I do not msh 
ye to walk any farther in my company, unless yoB 
cast your nonsense away, which ye will never do 
for it is the breath of your nostrils ; fling down my 
book, it was not written to support a crotchet, for 
know one thing, my good people, I have invariably 
been an enemy to humbug. 

" Well," said the tinker, after we had discoursed 
some time, " I litUe thought, when I first saw you, 
that you were of my own trade. ' 

Myself, — Nor am I, at least not exactly. 
There is not much difference, 'tis true, between a 
tinker and a smith. 

Tinker, — ^You are a whitesmith then ? 

Myself, — Not I, I'd scorn to be anything so 
mean; no. Mend, black's the colour; I am a 
brother of the horse-shoe. Success to the hammer 
and tongs. 

Tinker. — ^Well, I shouldn't have thought you 
had been a blacksmith by your hands. 

Myself — I have seen th«n, however, as black 
as yours. The truth is, I have not worked for 
many a day. 

Tinker. — ^Where did you serve first ? 

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Myself. — In Ireland. 

Tinker. — That's a good way off, isn't it ? 

Myself. — Not very far; over those mountains 
to the left, and the run of salt water that lies behind 
them, there *s Ireland." 

Tinker. — It 's a fine thing to be a scholar. 

Myself — Not half so fine as to be a tinker. 

Tinker. — How you talk ! 

Myself — Nothing but the truth; what can be 
better than to be one's own master ? iNow a tinker 
is his own master, a scholar is not. Let us suppose 
the best of scholars, a schoolmaster for example, 
for I suppose you will admit that no one can be 
higher in scholarship than a schoolmaster ; do you 
call his a pleasant life? I don't; we should call 
him a school-slave, rather than a schoolmaster. 
Only conceive him in blessed weather like this, in 
his close school, teaching children to write in copy- 
books, "Evil communication corrupts good man- 
ners," or *' You cannot touch pitch without defile- 
ment," or to spell out of Abedariums, or to read 
out of Jack Smitli, or Sandford and Merton. Only 
conceive him, I say, drudging in such guise firom 
morning till night, without any rational enjoyment 

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but to beat the children. Would you compare such a 
dog's life as that with your own — the happiest 
under heaven — true Eden life, as the Germans 
would say, — pitching your tent under the pleasant 
hedge-rows, listening to the song of the feathered 
tribes, collecting all the leaky kettles in the neigh- 
bourhood, soldering and joining, earning your 
honest bread by the wholesome sweat of your brow 
— making ten holes — ^hey, whats this? what's 
the man crying for ? 

Suddenly the tinker had covered .his face with his 
hands, and begun to sob and moan like a man in 
the deepest distress; the breast of his wife was 
heaved with emotion^ even the children were agi- 
tated, the youngest began to roar. 

Myself, — What's the matter with you; what are 
you aU crying about? 

Tinker (uncovering his face). — Lord, why to 
hear you t€dk ; isn't that enough to make anybody 
cry — even the poor babes ? Yes, you said right, 'tis 
life in the garden of Eden — the tinker's; I see so 
now that I 'm about to give it up. 

Myself, — Give it up ! you must not think of 
such a thing* 

B 3 

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Tinker. — No,- 1 can't bear to think of it, and 
yet I must ; what s to be done ? How hard to be 
lightened to death, to be driven off the roads. 

Myself, — Who has driven you off the roads ? 

Tinier. — Who ! the Flaming Tinman. 

Myself.— Who is he ? 

Tinker. — The biggest rogue in England, and the 
crueUest^ or he wouldn't have served me as he has 
done — I 'U tell you all about it I was bom upon 
the roads, and so was my father before me, and my 
mother too; and I worked with them as long as 
they lived, as a dutiful chile, for I have nothing to 
reproach myself with on tlieir account ; and when 
my father died I took up the business, and went 
his beat^ and supported my mother for the little 
time she lived ; and when she died I married this 
young woman, who was not bom upon the foads, 
but was a small tradesman's daughter, at Gloster. 
She had a kindness for me, and, notwithstanding 
her friends were against the match, she married the 
poor tinker, and came to live with him upon the 
roads. Well, young man, for six or seven years I 
was the happiest fellow breathing, living just the 
life you described just now — respected by everybody 

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in this beat; when in an evil honr oomes this 
Black Jack, this flaming tinman, into these parts, 
driven as they say out of Yorkshire — ^for no good 
yon may be snre. Now there is no beat will sup- 
port two tinkers, as you doubtiess know; mine was 
a good one, but it would not support the flying 
tinker and myself, though if it would have sup- 
ported twenty it would have been all the same to 
the flying villain, who 'U brook no one but himself; 
so he presently finds me out» and offers to fight me 
for the beat. Now, being bred upon the roads, I 
can fight a little, that is with anything like my 
match, but I was not going to fight him, who hap- 
pens to be twice my size, and so I told him ; where- 
upon he knocks me down, and would have done me 
&rdier mischief had not some men been nigh and 
prevented him ; so he threatened to cut my throat, 
and went his way. Well, I did not like such usage 
at all, and was woundily frightened, and tried to 
keep as much out of his way as possible, going any- 
where but where I thought I was likely to meet 
him ; and sure enough for several months I con- 
trived to keep out of his way. At last somebody 
told me that he was gone back to Yorkshire, where- . 

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12 HARD AT WORK. [Ch. I. 

upon I was glad at heart, and veDtured to show 
myself, going here and there as I did before. Well, 
young man, it was yesterday that I and mine set 
ourselves down in a l«tne, about five miles from 
here^ and lighted our fire, and had our diimer, and 
after dinner I sat down to mend three kettles and a 
frying pan which the people in the neighbourhood 
had given me to mend — for, as I told you before, I 
have a good connection, owing to my honesty. Well, 
as I sat there hard at work, happy as the day 's 
long, and thinking of anything but what was to 
happen, who should come up but this Black Jack, 
this king of the tinkers, rattling along in his cart, 
with his wife, that they call Grey Moll, by his side — 
for the villain has got a wife, and a maid-servant 
too ; the last I never saw, but they that has, says 
that she igi as big as a house, and young, and well 
to look at, which can't be all said of Moll, who, 
though she's big enough in all conscience, is 
neither young nor handsome. Well, no sooner does 
he see me and mine, than, giving the reins to Grey 
Moll, he springs out of his cart, and comes straight 
at me ; not a word did he say, but on he comes 
straight at me like a wild bull. I am a quiet man^ 

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Ch. L] MY POOR WIFE. 18 

young fellow, but I saw now that quietness would 

be of no use, so I sprang up upon my legs, and 

being bred upon the roads, and able to fight a little, 

I squared as he came running in upon me, and had 

a round or two with him. Lord bless you, young 

man, it was like a fly fighting with an elephant — 

one of those big beasts the show-folks carry about. 

I had not a chance with the feUow, he knocked me 

here, he knocked me there, knocked me into the 

hedge, and knocked me out again. I was at my 

last shifts, and my poor wife saw it Now my poor 

wife, though she is as gentle as a pigeon, has yet a 

spirit of her own, and though she was 'nt bred upon 

the roads, can scratch a little ; so when she saw me 

at my last shifts, she flew at the villain — she could nt 

bear to see her partner murdered — and scratched the 

villain's face. Lord bless you, young man, she had 

better have been quiet : Grey Moll no sooner saw 

what she was about, than springing out of the cart, 

where she had sat all along perfectly quiet, save a 

little whooping and screeching to encourage her 

blade : — Grey Moll, I say (my flesh creeps when I 

think of it — for I am a kind husband, and love my 

poor wife) .... 

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14 GSET MOLL. [Ch. L 

Myself, — Take another draught of the ale ; you 
look frightened, and it inll do you good. Stout 
liquor makes stout heart, as the man says in the 

aTfwA^r.— That's true, young man; here's to 
you — irhere was I ? Grey Moll no sooner saw 
what my wife was about, than springing out of the 
cart, she flew at my poor wife, clawed off her bonnet 
in a mom^t, and seized hold of her hair. Lord 
bless you, young man, my poor wife, in the hands of 
Grey Moll, was nothing better than a pigeon in the 
claws of a buzzard hawk, or I in the hands of the 
Flaming Tinman, which when I saw, my heart was 
fit to burst, and I determined to give up everything — 
everything to save my poor wife out of Grey Moll's 
claws. *' Hold r I shouted. " Hold, both of you - 
Jack, Moll. Hold, both of you, for God's sake, 
and 1 11 do what you will : give up trade, and busi- 
ness, connection, bread, and everything, never more 
travel the roads, and go down on my knees to you 
in the bargain." Well, this had some effect; Moll 
let go my wife, and the Blazing Tinman stopped for 
a moment; it was only for a moment, however, 
that he left off — all of a sudden he hit me a blow 

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Ch.Ll ^ BIBLE. 15 

which sent me against a tree ; and what did the vil- 
lain then ? why the flying villain seized me by the 
throat, and almost throttled me, roaring — ^what do 
you thinks young man» that the flaming villain 
roared oat? 

Myseif. — I really don't know — something hor- 
rible, I suppose. 

Tinker. — Horrible, indeed; you may well say 
horrible, yoong man; neither more nor less than the 
bible — " a bible, a bible ! " roared the Blazing Tin- 
man ; and he pressed my throat so hard against the 
tree that my senses began to dwaul away — a bible, 
a bible, still ringing in my ears. Now, young man, 
my poor wife is a Christian woman, and, though 
she travels the roads, oarries a bible with her at the 
bottom of her sack, with which sometimes she 
teaches the children to read — it was the only thing 
she brought with her from the place of her kith and 
kin, save her own body and the clothes on her 
back ; so my poor wife, half distracted, runs to her 
sack, pulls out the bible, and puts it into the hand 
of the Blazing Tinman, who then thrusts the end 
of it into my mouth with such Airy that it made my 

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lips bleed, and broke short one of my teeth which 
happened to be decayed. " Swear," said he, " swear, 
you mumping villain, take your bible oath that you 
will quit and give up the beat altogether, or I '11" — 
and then the hard-hearted villain made me sweax by 
the bible, and my own damnation, half-throttled as 
I was, to — to — I can't go on ... . 

Myself, — Take another draught — stout liquor. . . 

Tinker. — I can't young man, my heart's too 
full, and what's more, the pitcher is empty. 

Myself. — And so he swore you, I suppose, on 
the bible, to quit the roads? 

Tinker, — ^Tou are right, he did so, the gypsy 

Myself — Gypsy ! Is he a gypsy ? 

Tinker, — Not exactly ; what they call a half and 
half. His father was a gypsy, and his mother, like 
mine, one who walked the roads. 

Myself, — Is he of the Smiths — the Petu- 
lengres ? 

Tinker, — I say, young man, you know a thing 
or two ; one would think, to hear you talk, you had 
been bred upon the roads. I thought none but 

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Clul.] WHAT TO DO. 17 

those bred upon the roads knew anything of that 
name — Petulengres ! No, not he, he fights the 
Petulengres whenever he meets them ; he likes no- 
body hut himself, and wants to be king of the roads. 
I believe he is a Boss, or a .... at any rate he *8 
a bad one, as I know to my cost. 

Myself, — ^And what are you going to do ? 
Tinker. — Do ! you may well ask that ; I don't 
know what to do. My poor wife and I have been 
talking of that all the morning, over that half-pint 
mug of beer ; we can't determine on what 's to be 
done. All we know is, that we must quit the roads. 
The villain swore that the next time he saw us on 
the roads he 'd cut all our throats, and seize our 
horse and bit of a cart that are now standing out 
there under the tree. 

Myself. — ^And what do you mean to do with your 
horse and cart ? 

Tinker. — Another question 1 What shall we do 
with our cart and pony ? they are of no use to us 
now. Stay on the roads I will not, both for my 
oath's sake and my own. If we had a trifle of 
money, we were thinking of going to Bristol, where 
I might get up a little business, but we have none ; 

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our last three farthings we spent about the mug of 

Myself, — ^But why don't you sell your horse and 

Tinker. — Sell them, and who would buy them, 
unless some one who wished to set up in my line ; 
but there's no beat, and what's the use of the 
horse and cart and the few tools without the beat ? 

Myself, — I *m half inclined to buy your cart and 
pony, and your beat too. 

Tinker. — ^You ! How came you to think of 
such a thing ? 

Myself — Why, like yourself, I hardly know what 
to do. I want a home and work. As for a home, I 
suppose I can contriye to make a home out of your 
tent and cart ; and as for work, I must lecun to be a 
tinker, it would not be hard for one of my ts^e to 
learn to tinker; what better ean I do? Would you 
have me go to Chester and work there no^ ? T don't 
like the thoughts of it. If I go to Ofaest^ and 
work there, I can't be my own man ; I must work 
under a master, and perhaps he and I should 
quarrel, and when I quartel I am apt to hit folks, 
and those that hit folks are sometimes sent to 

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Cb. I.] IN NO TIME. 19 

prison ; I don't like the thought either of going to 
Chester or to Chester prison. What do you think 
I could earn at Chester ? 

Tinker, — A matter of eleven shillings a week, if 
any body would employ you, which I don't think 
they would with those hands of yours. But whether 
they would or not, if you are of a quarrelsome na- 
ture, you must not go to Chester ; you would be in 
the castle in no time. I don't know how to adyise 
you. As for selling you my stock, I'd see you 
farther first, for your own sake. 

Myself.— Why ? 

Tinker. — Why ! you would get your head 
knocked off. Suppose you were to meet him ? 

Myself. — Pooh, don't be afraid on my account; if 
I were to meet him I could easily manage him one 
way or other. I know all kinds of strange words 
and names, and, as I told you before, I sometimes 
hit people when they put me out. 

Here the tinker's wife, who for some minutes past 
had been listening attentiyely to our discourse, inter- 
posed, saying, in a low soft tone: "I really don't 
see, John, why you should'ntsell the young man the 
things, seeing that he wishes for them, and is so con- 

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fident; you have told him plainly how matters 
standi and if anything ill should hefall him, people 
couldn't lay the hlame on you; hut I don't think 
any ill will hefall him, and who knows hut God 
has sent him to our assistance in time of need." 

" I 'U hear of no such thing," said the tinker ; " I 
have drunk at the young man's expense, and though 
he says he 's quarrelsome, I would not wish to sit 
in pleasanter company. A pretty fellow I should he, 
now, if I were to let him follow his own will. If 
he once sets up on my beat, he 's a lost man, his 
rihs will be stove in, and his head knocked off his 
shoulders. There, you are crying, but you shan't 
have your will though ; I won't he the young man's 
destruction .... If, indeed, I thought he could 
manage the tinker — but he never can ; he says he 
can hit, but it's no use hitting the tinker; — crying 
still! you are enough to drive one mad. I say, 
young man, I believe you understand a thing or 
two, just now you were talking of knowing hard 
words and names — I don't wish to send you to your 
mischief — ^you say you know hard words and ncunes ; 
let us see. Only on one condition I 'U sell you the 
pony and things; as for the beat it 's gone, isn't mine 

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Ch,i.] don't starb. 21 

— sworn away by my own mouth. Tell me what b 
my name ; if you can't^ may I . . , ." 

Myself, — ^Don t swear, it 's a bad habit, neither 
pleasant nor profitable. Tour name is Slingsby — 
Jack Slingsby. There, don't stare, there 's nothing 
in my telling you your name : I Ve been in these parts 
before, at least not very far from here. Ten years 
ago, when I was little more than a child, I was 
about twenty miles from here in a post chaise, at 
the door of an inn, and as I looked from the win- 
dow of the chaise, I saw you standing by a gutter, 
with a big tin ladle in your. hand, and somebody 
called you Jack Slingsby. I never forget anything 
I heax or see ; I can't, I wish I could. So there 's 
nothing strange in my knowing your name ; indeed, 
there 's nothing strange in anything, provided you 
examine it to the bottom. Now what am I to give 
you for the things ? 

I paid Slingsby five pounds ten shillings for his 
stock in trade, cart, and pony — purchased sundry 
provisions of the landlady, also a wagoner's frock, 
which had belonged to a certain son of hers, de- 
ceased, gave my little animal a feed of com, and 
prepared to depart. 

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" God bless you, young man," said Slingsby, 
shaMng me by the hand, ** you are the best friend 
I Ve had for many a day : I have but one thing to 
tell you, " Don't cross that fellow's path if you can 
help it ; and stay^—should the pony refuse to go, 
just touch him so, and he 'U fly like the wind." 

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It was two or three hours past noon when I took 
my departure from the place of the last adventure, 
walking by the side of my little cart ; the pony, in- 
vigorated by the com, to which he was probably not * 
much accustomed, proceeded right gallantly ; so far 
firom having to hasten him forward by the particular 
application which the tinker had pointed out to me, 
I had rather to repress his eagerness, being, though 
an excellent pedestrian, not unfrequently left be- 
hind. The country through which I passed was 
beautiful and interesting, but solitary : few habita- 
tions appeared. As it was quite a matter of indif- 
ference to me in what direction I went, the whole 
world being before me, I allowed the pony to decide 
upon the matter ; it was not long before he left the 

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high road, heing prohahly no Mend to public places. 
I followed him I knew not whither, but, from sub- 
sequent observation, have reason to suppose that 
our course was in a north-west direction. At length 
night came upon us, and a cold wind sprang up, 
which was succeeded by a drizzling rain. 

I had originally intended to pass the night in the 
cart, or to pitch my little tent on some convenient 
spot by the road's side ; but, owing to the alteration 
in the weather, I thought that it would be advisable 
to take up my quarters in any hedge alehouse at 
which I might arrive. To tell the truth, I was not 
very sorry to have an excuse to pass the night once 
more beneath a roof. I had determined to live 
quite independent, but I had never before passed a 
night by myself abroad, and felt a little apprehen- 
sive at the idea ; I hoped, however, on the morrow, 
to be a little more prepared for the step, so I deter- 
mined for one night — only for one night longer — 
to slegp like a Christian ; but human determinations 
are not always put into effect, such a thing as op- 
portunity is frequently wanting, such was the case 
here. I went on for a considerable time, in ex- 
pectation of coming to some rustic hostelry, but 

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Ch.II.] THE HOOFS. 25 

nothing of the Idud presented itself to my eyes; 
the country in which I now was seemed ahnost 
uninhabited, not a house of any kind was to be 
seen — at least I saw none — though it is true houses 
might be near without my seeing them, owing to 
the darkness of the night, for neither moon nor 
star was abroad. I heard, occasionally, the bark 
of dogs ; but the sound appeared to come from an 
immense distance. The rain still fell, and the 
ground beneath my feet was wet and miry ; in short, 
it was a night in which even a tramper by profes- 
sion would feel more comfortable in being housed 
than abroad. I followed in the rear of the cart, 
the pony still proceeding at a sturdy pace, till me- 
thought I heard other hoofs than those of my own 
nag ; I listened for a moment, and distinctly heard 
the sound of hoofs approaching at a great rate, and 
evidently from the quarter towards which I and my 
little caravan were moving. We were in a dark 
lane — so dark, that it was impossible for me^to see 
my own hand. Apprehensive that some accident 
might occur, I ran forward, and, seizing the pony 
by the bridle, drew him as near as I could to the 
bedge. On came the hoo& — ^trot, trot, trot; and 

VOL. III. c 

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26 A STUMBLE. [Ch. IT. 

evidently more than those of one horse; their speed 
as they advanced appeared to slacken — it was only, 
however, for a moment. I heard a voice cry; 
"Push on, — this is a desperate rohbing place, — 
never mind the dark;" and the hoofs came on 
quicker than before. " Stop ! '* said I, at the top of 

my voice; "stop! or " Before I could 

finish what I was about to say there was a stumble, 
a heavy fall, a cry, and a groan, and putting out 
my foot I felt what I conjectured to be the head of 
a horse stretched upon the road. "Lord have 
mercy upon us! what's the matter?" exclaimed a 
voice. " Spare my life," cried another voice, ap- 
parently from the ground ; " only spare my life, 
and take all I have." "Where are you. Master 
Wise?" cried the other voice. "Help! here. 
Master Bat," cried the voice from the ground, 
"help me up or I shall be murdered." "Why, 
what's the matter?" said Bat. "Some one has 
knocked me down, and is robbing me," said the 
voice from the ground. "Help! murder!" cried 
Bat ; and, regardless of the entreaties of the man 
on the ground that he would stay and help him up, 
he urged his horse forward and galloped away as 

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Cai. 11] ARE YOa HURT. 27 

fast as he could. I remdned for some time quiet^ 
listemng to various groans and exclamations ut- 
tered by the person on the ground; at length I said, 
"Holloa J are you hurt?" "Spare my Ufe, and 
take all I have!" said the voice from the ground. 
" Have they not done robbing you yet ?" said I ; 
" when they have finished let me know, and I will 
come and help you." "Who is that?" said the 
voice; "pray come and help me, and do me no 
mischief." "You were saying that some one was 
robbing you," said I ; " don't think I shall come till 
he is gone away." *' Then you bent he?" said the 
voice. " At n't you robbed ?" said I. " Can't say I 
be," said the voice ; " not yet at any rate ; but who 
are you ? I don't know you." " A traveller whom 
you and your partner were going to run over in this 
dark lane; you almost frightened me out of my 
senses." " Frightened !" said the voice, in a louder 
tone; "frightened! oh!" and thereupon I heard 
somebody getting upon his legs. This accom- 
pUshed, the individual proceeded to attend to his 
horse, and with a Uttle diflSeulty raised him upon 
his legs also. "Ar'n't you hurt?" said I. "Hurt!" 
said the voice ; " not I ; don't think it, whatever 

c 2 

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28 WHAT A difference! [Oh. II. 

the horse may be. I tell you what, my fellow, I 
thought you were a robber, and now I find you are 
not; I have a good mind . . . ." " To do what?" 
"To serve you out; ar n't you ashamed ....?" 
"At what?" said I; "not to have robbed you? 
Shall I set about it now?" "Ha, ha!" said the 
man, dropping the bullying tone which he had 
assumed; " you are joking — robbing ! who talks of 
robbing? I wonder how my horse's knees are ; not 
much hurt, I think — only mired." The man, who- 
ever he was, then got upon his horse; and, after 
moving him about a little, said, " Good night. 
Mend; where are you?" "Here I am," s^d I, 
"just behind you." "You are, are you? Take 
that." I know not what he did, but probably 
pricking his horse with the spur the animal kicked 
out violently ; one of bis heels struck me on the 
shoulder, but luckily missed my face ; I fell back 
with the violence of the blow, whilst the fellow 
scampered off at a great rate. Stopping at some 
distance, he loaded me with abuse, and then, con- 
tinuing his way at a rapid trot, I heard no more of 

^' What a difference ! " said I, getting up ; " last 

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Ch. II.] DROWSY. 29 

night I was fitted in the hall of a rich genius, and 
to-night I am knocked down and mired in a dark 
lane by the heel of Master Wise's horse — I wonder 
who gave him that name? And yet he was wise 
enongh to wreak his revenge upon me, and I was 
not wise enough to keep out of his way. Well, I 
am not much hurt, so it is of little consequence." 

I now bethoughtme that, as I had a carriage of 
my own, I might as well make jise of it ; I there- 
fore got into the cart, and, taking the reins in my 
hand, gave an encouraging cry to the pony, where- 
upon the sturdy little animal started again at as 
brisk a pace as if he had not already come many a 
long mile. I lay half reclining in the cart, holding 
the reins lazily^ and allowing the animal to go just 
where he pleased, often wondering where he would 
conduct me. At length I felt drowsy, and my head 
sank upon my breast; I soon aroused myself, but 
it was only to doze again; this occurred several 
times. Opening my eyes after a doze somewhat 
longer than the others, I found that the drizzUng 
rain had ceased, a comer of the moon was apparent 
in the heavens, casting a faint light; I looked 
around for a moment or two, but my eyes and brain 

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were heavy with slumher, and I could scarcely dis- 
tinguish where we were. I had a kind of dim con- 
sciousness that we were traversing an uninclosed 
country — perhaps a heath ; I thought^ however, that 
I saw certain large hlack ohjects looming in the 
distance, which I had a confused idea might be 
* woods or plantations ; the pony still moved at his 
usual pace. I did not find the jolting of the cart 
at all disagreeable, on the contrary, it had quite a 
somniferous effect upon me. Again my eyes closed ; 
I opened them once more, but with less perception 
in them than before, looked forward, and, muttering 
something about woodlands, I placed myself in an 
easier posture than I had hitherto done, and fairly 
fell asleep. 

How long I continued in that state I am unable 
to say, but I believe for a considerable time ; I was 
suddenly awakened by the ceasing of the jolting to 
which I had become accustomed, and of which I 
was perfectly sensible in my sleep. I started up 
and looked around me, the moon was still shining, 
and the face of the heaven was studded with stars ; 
I found myself amidst a maze of bushes of various 
kinds, but principally hazel and holly, through 

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CIlII.] housekeeping. 31 

which was a path or driftway with grass growing on 
either side, upon which the pony was ahready dili- 
gently browsing. I conjectured that this place had 
been one of the haunts of his former master, and, 
on dismounting and looking about, was strengthened 
in that opinion by finding a spot under an ash tree 
which, firom its burnt and blackened appearance, 
seemed to have been frequently used as a fire-place. 
I will take up my quarters here, thought I ; it is an 
excellent spot for me to commence my new profes- 
sion in; I was quite right to trust myself to the 
guidance of the pony. Unharnessing the animal 
without delay, I permitted him to browse at free 
will on the grass, convinced that he would not 
wander far from a place to which he was so much 
attached; I then pitched the little tent close beside 
the ash tree to which I have alluded, and conveyed 
two or three articles into it, and instantly felt that 
I had commenced housekeeping for the first time in 
my life. Housekeeping, however, without a fire is 
a very sorry afiair, something like the housekeeping 
of children in their toy houses; of this I was the 
more sensible from feeling very cold and shivering, 
owing to my late exposure to the rain, and sleeping 

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in the night air. Collecting, therefore, all the dry 
sticks and furze I could find^ I placed them upon 
the fire-place, adding certain chips and a billet 
which I found in the cart, it having apparently been 
the habit of Slingsby to carry with him a small 
store of fiiel. Having then strack a spark in a 
tinder-box and lighted a match, I set fire to the 
combustible heap, and was not slow in raising a 
cheerfo] blaze ; I then drew my cart near the fire, 
and> seating myself on. one of the shafts, hung over 
the warmth with feelings of intense pleasure and 
satisfaction. Having continued in this posture for 
a considerable time, I turned my eyes to the heaven 
in the direction of a particular star; I, however, 
could not find the star, nor indeed many of the 
starry train, the greater number having fled, from 
which circumstance, and from the appearance of the 
sky, I concluded that morning was nigh. About 
this time I again began to feel drowsy ; I therefore 
arose, and having prepared for myself a kind of 
couch in the tent, I flung myself upon it and went 
to sleep. 

I will not say that I was awakened in the morn- 
ing by the carolling of birds, as I perhaps might if 

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I were writing a novel ; I awoke because, to use 
Tulgar language, I had slept my sleep out, not be* 
cause the birds were carolling around me in num- 
bers, as they had probably been for hours without 
my hearing them. I got up and left my tent; the 
morning was yet more bright than that of the pre- 
ceding day. Impelled by curiosity, I walked about 
endeavouring to ascertain to what jdace chance, or 
rather the pony, had brought me; following the 
driftway for some time, amidst bushes and stunted 
trees, I came to a grove of dark pines, through 
which it appeared to lead; I tracked it a few 
hundred yards, but seeing nothing but trees, and 
the way being wet and sloughy, owing to the recent 
rain, I returned on my steps, and, pursuing the 
path in another direction, came to a sandy road 
leading over a common, doubtiess the one I had 
traversed the preceding night My curiosity satis* 
fied, I returned to my litde encampment, and on 
the way beheld a small footpath on the left winding 
through the bushes, which had before escaped my 
observation. Having reached my tent and cart, 
I breakfasted on some of the provisions which I 
had procured the day before, and then proceeded to 

c 8 

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take a regular account of the stock formerly pos- 
sessed by Slingsby the tinker, but now become my 
own by right of lawful purchase. 

Besides the pony, the cart, and the tent, I found 
I was possessed of a matress stuffed with straw on 
which to lie, and a blanket to cover me, the last 
quite clean and nearly new ; then there was a frying 
pan and a kettle, the first for cooking any food 
which required cooking, and the second for heating 
any water which I might wish to heat. I likewise 
found an earthen teapot and two or three cups ; of 
the first I should rather say I found the remains, it 
being broken in three parts, no doubt since it came 
into my possession, which would have precluded 
the possibility of my asking anybody to tea for the 
present, should anybody visit me, even supposing I 
had tea and sugar, which was not the case. I then 
overhauled what might more strictly bp called the 
stock in trade ; this consisted of various tools, an 
iron ladle, a chafing pan and small bellows, sundry 
pans and kettles, the latter being of tin, with the 
exception of one which was of copper, all in a state 
of considerable dilapidation— if I may use the term ; 
of these first Slingsby had spoken in particular. 

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advising me to mend them as soon as possible, and 
to endeavour to sell them, in order that I might 
have the satisfaction of receiving some return upon 
the outlay which I had made. There was likewise 
a small quantity of block tin, sheet tin, and solder. 
" This Slingsby," said I, " is certainly a very honest 
man, he has sold me more than my money s worth ; 
I believe, however, there is something more in the 
cart." Thereupon I rummaged the farther end of 
the cart, and, amidst a quantity of straw, I found 
a small anvil and bellows of that kind which are 
used in forges, and two hammers such as smiths 
use, one great, and the other small. 

The sight of these last articles caused me no little 
surprise, as no word which had escaped from the 
mouth of SUngsby had given me reason to suppose 
that he had ever followed the occupation of a smith; 
yet, if he had not, how did he come by them? I 
sat down upon the shaft, and pondered the question 
deUberately in my mind ; at length I concluded that 
he had come by them by one of those numerous 
casualties which occur upon the roads, of which I, 
being a young hand upon the roads, must have a very 
imperfect conception; honestly, of course — for I 

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scouted the idea that Slingsby would have stolen 
this blacksmith's gear — ^for I had the highest opinion 
of his honesty, which opinion I still retain at the 
present day, which is upwards of twenty years from 
the time of which I am speaking, during the whole 
of which period I have neither seen the poor fellow, 
nor received any intelligence of him. 

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I PASSED the greater part of the day in endeavour- 
ing to teach myself the mysteries of my new pro- 
fession. I cannot say that I was very successful, 
but the time passed agreeably, and was therefore 
not ill spent. Towards evening I flung my work 
aside, took some refireshment, and afterwards a 

This time I turned up the small footpath, of 
which I have ahready spoken. It led in a zigzag 
manner through thickets of haze], elder, and sweet 
briar; after following its windings for somewhat 
better than a furlong, I heard a gentle sound of 
water, and presently came to a small rill, which ran 
directly across the path. I was rejoiced at the 
sight, for I had ahready experienced the want of 

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water, which I yet knew must be nigh at hand, as I 
was in a place to all appearance occasionally fre- 
quented by wandering people, who I was aware 
never take up their quarters in ^places where water isi 
difl&cult to be obtained. Forthwith I stretched my- 
self on the ground, and took a long and delicious 
draught of the crystal stream, and then, seating my- 
self in a bush, I continued for some time gazing on 
the water as it purled tinkling away in its channel 
through an opening in the hazels, and should have 
probably continued much longer had not the 
thought that I had left my property unprotected 
compelled me to rise and return to my encampment. 

Night came on, and a beautiftd night it was ; up 
rose the moon, and innumerable stars decked the 
firmament of heaven. I sat on the shaft, my eyes 
turned upwards. I had found it: there it was 
twinkling milUons of miles above me, mightiest star 
of the system to which we belong : of all stars, 
the one which has most interest for me — the star 

Why have I always taken an interest in* thee, O 
Jupiter? I know nothing about thee, save what 
every child knows, that thou art a big star, whose 

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only light is derived from moons. And is not 
that knowledge enough to make me feel an in- 
terest in thee ? Ay, truly, I never look at thee 
without wondering what is going on in thee ; what 
is life in Jupiter? That there is life in Jupiter 
who can douht ? There is life in our own little star, 
therefore there must he life in Jupiter, which is not 
a little star. But how different must life he in 
Jupiter from what it is in our own little star I life 
here is Ufe beneath the dear sun — life in Jupiter is 
life beneath moons — four moons — no single moon 
is able to illumine that vast bulk. All know what 
life is in our own little star ; it is anything but a 
routine of happiness here, where the dear sun rises 
to us every day : then how sad and moping must 
life be in mighty Jupiter, on which no sun ever 
shines, and which is never lighted save by pale 
moon-beams ! The thought that there is more sad- 
ness and melancholy in Jupiter than in this world 
of ours, where, alas ! there is but too much, has 
always made me take a melancholy interest in that 
huge distant star. 

Two or three days passed by in much the same 
manner as the first During the morning I worked 

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upon my kettles, and employed the remaining part 
of the day as I best could. The whole of this time 
I only saw two individuals, rustics, who passed by 
my encampment without vouchsafing me a glance ; 
they probably considered themselves my superiors, 
as perhaps they were. 

One very brilliant morning, as I sat at work in 
very good spirits, for by this time I had actually 
mended in a very creditable way, as I imagined, two 
kettles and a frying pan, I heard a voice which 
seemed to proceed from the path leading to the 
rivulet; at first it sounded from a considerable dis- 
tance, but drew nearer by degrees. I soon remarked 
that the tones were exceedingly sharp and shrill, 
with yet something of childhood in them. Once or 
twice I distinguished certain words in the song 
which the voice was singing; the words were — ^but 
no, I thought again I was probably mistaken — and 
then the voice ceased for a time ; presently I heard 
it again, close to the entrance of the footpath ; in 
another moment I heard it in the lane or glade in 
which stood my tent, where it abruptly stopped, but 
not before I had heard the very words which I at 
first thought I had distinguished. 

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Ch. in.] THE ROMMANT CHI. 41 

I turned my head ; at the entrance of the foot* 
path^ which might he about thirty yards from the 
place where I was sitting, I perceived the figure of 
a young girl ; her face was turned towards me, and 
she appeared to he scanning me and my encamp- 
ment ; after a little time she looked in the other di- 
rection, only for a moment, however ; probably ob- 
serving nothing in that quarter, she again looked 
towards me, and almost immediately stepped for- 
ward; and, as she advanced, sang the song which 
I had heard in the wood, the first words of which 
were those which I have already alluded to. 

" The Bommany chi 
And the Rommany chal, 
Shall jaw taaaxilor 
To drab the bawlor, 
And dook the gry 
Of the fiurming rye." 

A very pretty song, thought I, falling again hard 
to work upon my kettle ; a very pretty song, which 
bodes the farmers much good. Let them look to 
their cattle. 

" All alone here, brother ? " said a voice close by 
me, in sharp but not disagreeable tones. 

I made no answer, but continued my work, click, 

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click, with the gravity which hecame one of my 
profession. I allowed at least half a minute to 
elapse before I even lifted up my eyes. 

A girl of aboiit thirteen was standing before me ; 
her features were very pretty, but with a peculiar 
expression; her complexion was a clear olive, and 
her jet black hair hung back upon her shoulders. 
She was rather scantily dressed, and her arms and 
feet were bare; round her neck, however, was a 
handsome string of corals, with ornaments of gold ; 
in her hand she held a bulrush. 

" All alone here, brother?" said the girl, as I 
looked up; " all alone here, in the lane; where are 
your wife and children ? " 

*' Why do you call me brother?" said I; "I am 
no brother of yours. Do you take me for one of 
your people ? I am no gypsy ; not I, indeed !" 

" Don't be afraid, brother, you are no Soman — 
Roman indeed, you are not handsome enough to be 
a Soman ; not black enough, tinker though you be. 
If I called you brother, it was because I didn't 
know what else to call you. Marry, come up, 
brother, I should be sorry to have you for a 

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" Then you don't like me ? " 

" Neither like you, nor dislike you, brother ; 
what "will you have for that kekaubi ? " 

" What's the use of talking to me in that un- 
christian way ; what do you mean, young gentle- 
woman ? " 

" Lord, brother, what a fool you are ; every 
tinker knows what a kekaubi is. I was asking you 
what you would have for that kettle." 

** Three-and-sixpence, young gentlewoman ; isn't 
it well mended ? " 

" Well mended ! I could have done it better my- 
self; three-and-sixpence! it's only fit to be played at 
football with." 

" I will take no less for it, young gentlewoman; 
it has caused me a world of trouble." 

" I never saw a worse mended kettle. I say, 
brother, your hair is white." 

*^ 'Tis nature ; your hair is black ; nature, no- 
thing but nature." 

" I am young, brother ; my hair is black — that 's 
nature : you are young, brother ; your hair is white 
— ^that's not nature." 

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" I can *t help it if it be not, but it is nature after 
all ; did you never see grey hair on the young ? " 

" Never ! I have heard it is true of a grey lad, 
and a bad one he was. Oh, so bad." 

" Sit down on the grass, and tell me all about it, 
sister ; do to oblige me, pretty sister." 

'* Hey, brother, you don *t speak as you did-^you 
don't speak like a gorgio, you speak like one of us, 
you call me sister." 

" As you call me brother; I am not an uncivil 
person after all, sister." 

" I say, brother, tell me one thing, and look me 
in the face — there — do you speak Bommany ? " 

" Bommany ! Bommany ! what is Bommany ? " 

" What is Bommany ? our language to be sure ; 
teU me, brother, only one thing, you don't speak 
Bommany ? " 

" You say it." 

" I don't say it, I wish to know. Do you speak 
Bommany ? " 

" Do you mean thieves' slang — cant? no, I don't 
speak cant, I don't like it, I only know a few words ; 
they call a sixpence a tanner, don't they ?" 

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'' I don't know/' said the girl, sitting down on 
the ground, " I was almost thinking — well, never 
mind, you don t know Bommany. I say, brother, 
I think I should like to have the kekaubi." 

" I thought you said it was badly mended ? " 

'^ Yes, yes, brother, but . . . ." 

'' I thought you said it was only fit to be played 
at football with?" 

" Yes, yes, brother, but . . . ." 

" What will you give for it ? " 

" Brother, I am the poor person's child, I will 
give you sixpence for the kekaubi." 

" Poor person s child ; how came you by that 
necklace ? " 

" Be civil, brother; am I to have the kekaubi ? " 

" Not for sixpence ; isn't the kettle nicely 

'* I never saw a nicer mended kettle, brother ; am 
I to have the kekaubi, brother ? " 

'* You like me then ? " 

" I don't dislike you — I dislike no one ; there s 
only one, and him I don't dislike, him I hate." 


" I scarcely know, I never saw him, but 'tis no 

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affair of yours, you don't speak Bommany]; you will 
let me have the kekaubi, pretty brother ? " 

" You may have it, but not for sixpence, I '11 give 
it to you." 

" Parraco tute, that is, I thank you, brother; the 
rikkeni kekaubi is now mine. 0, rare ! I thank you 
kindly, brother." 

Starting up, she flung the bulrush aside which 
she had hitherto held in her hand, and, seizing the 
kettle, she looked at it for a moment, and then 
began a kind of dance, flourishing the kettle over 
her head the while, and singing — 

" The Rommany chi 
And the Rommany chal. 
Shall jaw tasaulor 
To drab the bawlor. 
And dook the gry 
Of the inning rye." 

" Good by, brother, I must be going." 

" Good by, sister ; why do you sing that wicked 

" Wicked song, hey, brother ! you don't under- 
stand the song!" 

" Ha, ha ! gypsy daughter," said I, starting up 
and clapping my hands, " I don t understand Rom- 

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Ch. III.] 


many, don't I ? You shall see; here 's the answer 

to your gillie — 

' The Bommany ehi 
And the Rommany chftl. 
Love Lnripen 
And dukkeripen. 
And hokkeripen. 
And every pen 
But Lachipen 
And tatchipen.' " 

The girl, who had given a slight start when 1 
hegan, remained for some time after I had con- 
cluded the song, standing motionless as a statue, 
with the kettle in her hand. At length she came 
towards me, and stared me full in the face. " Grey, 
tall, and talks Rommany," said she to herself. In 
her countenance there was an expression which I 
had not seen hefore — an expression which struck 
me as heing composed of fear, curiosity, and the 
deepest hate. It was momentary, however, and was 
succeeded hy one smiling, frank, and open. " Ha, 
ha, hrother," said she, "weU, I like you all the 
better for talking Eommany ; it is a sweet language, 
isn't it ? especially as you sing it. How did 
you pick it up ? But you picked it up upon the 
roads, no doubt? Ha, it was funny in you to 

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pretend not to know it^ and yon so flush with 
it all the time; it was not kind in you, how- 
ever, to frighten the poor person's child so hy 
screaming out, hut it was kind in you to give the 
rikkeni kekauhi to the child of the poor person. 
She will he grateful to you ; she will bring you her 
little dog to show you, her pretty juggal ; the poor 
person's child will come and see you again ; you are 
not going away to-day, I hope, or to-morrow, pretty 
brother, grey haur'd brother — ^you are not going away 
to-morrow, I hope ? " 

" Nor the next day," said I, ** only to take a 
stroll to see if I can sell a kettle ; good by, little 
sister, Bommany sister, dingy sister." 

" Good by, tall brother," said the girl, as she 
departed, singing 

*' The Bommany chi/* &c. 

" There 's something about that girl that I don't 
understand," said I to myself; " something myste- 
rious. However, it is nothing to me, she knows not 
who I am, and if she did, what then ? " 

Late that evening as I sat on the shaft of my cart 
in deep meditation, with my arms folded, I thought 

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I heard a rustling in the hushes oyer against me. 
I turned my eyes in that direction, hut saw nothing. 
" Some hird/' said I; " an owl, perhaps;" and once 
more I fell into meditation; my mind wandered 
from one thing to another — musing now on the 
structure of the Roman tongue — now on the rise 
and fall of the Persian power — and now on the 
powers vested in recorders at quarter sessions. I 
was thinking what a fine thing it must he to he a 
recorder of the peace, when, lifting up my eyes, I 
saw right opposite, not a culprit at the har, hut, 
staring at me through a gap in the hush, a face wild 
and strange, half covered with grey hair; I only 
saw it a moment, the next it had disappeared. 

VOL. ni. 

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The next day, at an early hour, I harnessed my little 
pony, and, putting my things in my cart, I went on 
my projected stroll. Crossing the moor, I arrived 
in about an hour at a small village, from which, 
after a short stay, I proceeded to another, and from 
thence to a third. I found that the name of 
Slingsby was well known in these parts. 

" If you are a friend of Slingsby you must be an 
honest lad," said an ancient crone ; " you shall never 
want for work whilst I can give it you. Here, take 
my kettle, the bottom came out this morning, and 
lend me that of yours till you bring it back. I *m 
not afraid to trust you — not I. Don t hurry your- 
self, young man, if you don't come back for a fort- 
night I shan't have the worse opinion of you." 

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I returned to my quarters at evening, tired, but 
rejoiced at heart; I had work before me for several 
days, having collected various kekaubies which re- 
quired mending, in place of those which I left be- 
hind — those which I had been employed upon during 
the last few days. I found all quiet in the lane or 
glade, and, unharnessing my httle horse, I once 
more pitched my tent in the old spot beneath the 
ash, hghted my fire, ate my fingal meal, and then, 
after looking for some time at the heavenly bodies, 
and more particularly at the star Jupiter, I entered 
my tent, lay down upon my pallet, and went to 

Nothing occurred on the following day which 
requires any particular notice, nor indeed on the 
one succeeding that It was about noon on the 
third day that I sat beneath the shade of the ash 
tree; I was not at work, for the weather was par- 
ticularly hot, and I felt but little inclination to make 
any exertion. Leaning my back against the tree, I 
was not long in falling into a slumber; I particu- 
larly remember that slumber of mine beneath the 
ash tree, for it was about the sweetest slumber that 
I ever enjoyed; how long I continued in it I do not 

D 2 

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62 DANGER. [Ch.IV. 

know ; I could almost have wished that it had lasted 
to the present time. All of a sudden it appeared to 
me that a voice cried in my ear, " Danger ! danger I 
danger ! " Nothing seemingly could be more distinct 
than the words which I heard ; then an uneasy sen- 
sation came over me, which I strove to get rid of, 
and at last succeeded, for I awoke. The gypsy girl 
was standing just opposite to me, with her eyes 
fixed upon my countenance; a singular kind of 
little dog stood beside her. 

" Ha !" said I, '* was it you that cried danger ? 
What danger is there ? " 

"Danger, brother, there is no danger; what 
danger should there be ? I called to my little dog, 
but that was in the wood ; my little dog's name is 
not danger, but stranger; what danger should there 
be, brother ? *' 

" What, indeed, except in sleeping beneath a 
tree ; what is that you have got in your hand ? " 

'* Something for you," said the girl, sitting down 
and proceeding to untie a white napkin ; " a pretty 
manricli, so sweet, so nice ; when I went home to 
my people I told my grandbebee how kind you had 
been to the poor person s child, and grand- 
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Ch. IV.] 


bebee saw the kekaubi, she said, ' Hir mi devlis, 
it won t do for the poor people to be ungrateful ; by 
my God, I will bake a cake for the young harko 
mescro/ " 

" But there are two cakes." 

"Yes, brother, two cakes, both for you; my 
grandbebee meant them both for you — but list, 
brother, I will have one of them for bringing them. 
I know you will give me one, pretty brother, grey- 
haired brother — ^which shall I have, brother ? " 

In the napkin were two round cakes, seemingly 
made of rich and costly compounds, and precisely 
similar in form, each weighing about half a pound. 

" Which shall I have, brother ? " said the gypsy 


^' Whichever you please.^' 

" No, brother, no, the cakes are yours, not mine, 
it is for you to say." 

" Well, then, give me the one nearest you, and 
take the other." 

"Yes, brother, yes," said the girl; and taking 
the cakes, she flung them into the air two or three 
times, catching them as they fell, and singing the 
while. " Pretty brother, grey*haired brother — ^here, 

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brother," said she, " here is your cake, this other is 

" Are you sure," said I, taking the cake, " that 
this is the one I chose ? " 

" Quite sure, brother ; but if you like you can 
have mine ; there s no difference, howerer — shall I 

" Yes, sister, eat." 

*^ See, brother, I do ; now, brother, eat, pretty 
brother, grey-haired brother." 

" I am not hungry." 

" Not hungry ! well, what lien — what has being 
hungry to do with the matter ? It is my grandbebee's 
cake which was sent because you were kind to the 
poor person's child ; eat, brother, eat, and we shall 
be like the children in the wood that the gorgios 
speak of." 

" The children in the wood had ncrthing to eat."^ 

*' Yes, they had hips and haws; we have better. 
Eat, brother." 

" See, sister, I do," and I ate a piece ofthe cake. 

" Well, brother, how do you like it ? " said the 
girl, looking fixedly at me. 
. " It is very rich and sweet, and yet there is some- 

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CiulY.] don't be anobt. 65 

thing strange about it; I don't think I shall eat 
any more." 

*' Fie, brother, fie, to find &iilt with the poor 
person s cake ; see, I have nearly eaten mine." 

" That's a pretty little dog." 

'' Is it not, brother ? that's my juggal, my little 
sister, as I call her." 

'' Come here, juggal," said I to the animal. 

" What do you want with my juggal ? " said the 

" Only to give her a piece of cake," said I, offer- 
ing the dog a piece which I had just broken off. 

^^ What do you mean ? *' said the girl, snatching 
the dog away ; " my grandbebee's cake is not for 

" Why I just now saw you give the animal a 
piece of yours." 

" You Ke, brother, you saw no such thing ; but 1 
see how it is, you wish to affiront the poor person's 
child. I shall go to my house." 

" Keep still, and don't be angry ; see, I have eaten 
the piece which I offered the dog. I meant no 
offence. It is a sweet cake after all." 

" Iian't it, brother ? I am glad you like it. 

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Offence ! brother, no offence at all ! I am so glad jou 
like my grandbebee's cake, but she will be wanting 
me at home. Eat one piece more of grandbebee's 
cake and I will go." 

" I am not hungry, I will put the rest by," 

^' One piece more before I go, handsome brother, 
grey-haired brother." 

" I will not eat any more, I have already eaten 
more than I wished to oblige you ; if you must go, 
good day to you." 

The girl rose upon her feet, looked hard at me, 
then at the remainder of the cake which I held in- 
my hand, and then at me again, and then stood for 
a moment or two, as if in deep thought; presently 
an air of satisfaction came over her countenance, 
she smiled and said, "Well, brother, well, do as you 
please, I merely wished you to eat because you have; 
been so kind to the poor person's child. She loves 
you so, that she could have wished to have seen you 
eat it all; good by, brother, I dare say when I am 
gone you will eat some more of it, and if you don't, 
I dare say you have eaten enough to — to — show 
your love for us. After all it was a poor person's 
cake, a Rommany manricli, and all you gorgios aire 

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somewliat gorgious. Farewell, brother, pretty brother, 
grey-haired brother. Come, juggal." 

I remained under the ash tree seated on the grass 
for a minute or two, and endeavoured to resume the 
occupation in which I had been engaged before I 
fell asleep, but I felt no inclination for labour. I 
then thought I would sleep again, and once more 
reclined against the tree, and slumbered for some 
little time, but my sleep was more agitated than be- 
fore. Something appeared to bear heavy on my 
breast, I struggled in my sleep, fell on the grass, 
and awoke ; my temples were throbbing, there was 
a burning in my eyes, and my mouth felt parched ; 
the oppression about the chest which I had felt in 
my sleep still continued. " I must shake off these 
feelings," said I, *' and get upon my legs." I walked 
rapidly up and down upon the green sward; at 
length, feeling my thirst increase, I directed my 
steps down the narrow path to the spring which ran 
amidst the bushes ; arriving there, I knelt down and 
drank of the water, but on lifting up my head I felt 
thirstier than before ; again I drank, but with the 
like result; I was about to drink for the third time, 
when I felt a dreadftd qualm which instantly robbed 

D 8 

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me of nearly all my strength. What can he the 
matter with me, thought I ; hut I suppose I have 
made myself ill by drinking cold water. I got up 
and made the best of my way back to my tent; be- 
fore I reached it the qualm had seized me again, 
and I was deadly sick. I flung myself on my 
pallet, qualm succeeded qualm, but in the intervals 
my mouth was dry and burning, and I felt a frantic 
desire to drink, but no water was at hand, and to 
reach the spring once more was impossible; die 
qualms continued, deadly pains shot through my 
whole frame ; I could bear my agonies no longer, 
and I fell into a trance or swoon. How long I 
continued therein I know not; on recovering, how- 
ever, I felt somewhat better, and attempted to lift 
my head off my couch; the next moment, how- 
ever, the qualms and pains returned, if possible, 
with greater violence than before. I am dying, 
thought I, like a dog, without any help ; and then 
methought I heard a sound at a distance like people 
lainging, and then once more I relapsed into my 

I revived just as a heavy blow sounded upon the 
canvas of the tent. I started, but my condition did 

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not permit me to rise ; again the same kind of blow 
sounded upon the canvas ; I thoaght for a moment 
of crying oat and requesting assistance, but an in- 
explicable something chained my tongue, and now I 
heard a whisper on the outside of the tent. ** He 
does not move, bebee," said a voice which I knew. 
'' I should not wonder if it has done for him already ; 
however, strike again with your ran;" and then there 
was another blow, after which anotlier voice cried 
aloud in a strange tone, " Is the gentleman of the 
house asleep, or is he taking his diimer?" I re- 
mained quite silent and motionless, and in another 
moment the voice continued, " What, no answer ? 
what can the gentleman of the house be about that 
he makes no answer ? perhaps the gentleman of the 
house may be darning his stockings ? " Thereupon a 
face peered into the door of the tent, at the farther 
extremity of which I was stretched. It was that of 
a woman, but owing to the posture in which she 
stood, with her back to the light, and partly owing 
to a large straw bonnet, I could distinguish but 
very little of the features of her countenance. I had, 
however, recognised her voice ; it was that of my 
old acquaintance, Mrs. Heme. " Ho, ho, sir 1" said 

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60 NO ANSWER. [Ch. IV. 

she, "here you are. Come here, Leonora," said she 
to the gypsy girl, who pressed in at the other side 
of the door ; " here is the gentleman, not asleep, 
hut only stretched out after dinner. Sit down on 
your ham, child, at the door, I shall do the same. 
There — ^you have seen me before, sir, have you 

" The gentleman makes no answer, hehee ; perhaps 
he does not know you." 

" I have known him of old, Leonora," said Mrs. 
Heme; '^ and, to tell you the truth, though I spoke 
to him just now, I expected no answer." 

" It *s a way he has, bebee, I suppose ? " 

" Yes, child, it's a way he has." 

" Take off your bonnet, bebee, perhaps he cannot 
see your face." 

" I do not think that will be of much use, child ; 
however, I will take off my bonnet — there — and 
shake out my hair — there— you have seen this hair 
before sir, and this face.". . . , 

•' No answer, bebee." 

" Though the one was not quite so grey, nor the 
other so wrinkled." 

" How came they so, bebee ? " 

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" All along of this gorgio, child." 
'^ The gentleman in the house you mean, bebee.'* 
'^ Yes, child, the gentleman in the house. God 
grant that I may preserve my temper. Do you 
know, sir, my name ? My name is Heme, which 
signifies a hairy individual, though neither grey- 
haired nor wrinkled. It is not the nature of the 
Hemes to be grey or wrinkled, even when they 
are old, and I am not old." 
" How old are you, bebee ? " 
" Sixty-five years, child — an inconsiderable num- 
ber. My mother was a hundred and one — a con- 
siderable age — ^when she died, yet she had not one 
grey hair, and not more than six wrinkles — an in- 
considerable number." 

*' She had no griefs, bebee ? " 
" Plenty, child, but not like mine." 
" Not quite so hard to bear, bebee ?" 
'* No, child, my head wanders when I , think of 
them. After the death of my husband, who came 
to his end untimeously, I went to live with a daughter 
of mine, married out among certain Bomans who 
walk about the eastern counties, and with whom for 
some time I found a home and pleasant society, for 

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they lived right Bomanly, which gave my heart con- 
siderable satisfaction, who am a Boman bom, and 
hope to die so. When I say right Bomanly, I mean 
that they kept to themselves, and were not much 
given to blabbing about their private matters in 
promiscuous company. Well, things went on in 
this way for some time, when one day my son-in-law 
brings home a young gorgio of singular and out- 
rageous ugliness, and, without much preamble, says 
to me and mine, 'This is my pall, ant he a 
beauty? fall down and worship him.' ' Hold,' 
said I, ' I for one will never consent to such fool- 
ishness.' " 

'^ That was right, bebee, I think I should have 
done the same." 

" I think you would, child; but what was the profit 
of it? The whole party makes an almighty of this 
gorgio, lets him into their ways, says prayers of his 
making, till things come to such a pass that my 
own daughter says to me, ' I shall buy myself a 
veil and fan, and treat myself to a play and sacra- 
ment.' * Don't,' says I ; says she, ' I should like for 
once in my life to be courtesied to as a. Christian 
gentlewoman.' " 

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" Very foolish of her, bebee." 

'' Wasn't it, child ? Where was I ? At the fan 
and sacrament; -with a hea^y heart I put seven 
score miles between us, came back to the hairy ones, 
and found them over-given to gorgious companions; 
said I, ' foolish manners is catching, all this comes 
of that there gorgio.' Answers the child Leonora, 
' Take comfort, bebee, I hate the gorgios as much 
as you do.' " 

" And I say so again, bebee, as much or more." 

" Time flows on, I engage in many matters, in 
most miscarry. Am sent to prison ; says I to my- 
self, I am become fooUsh. Am turned out of 
prison, and go back to the hairy ones, who receive 
me not over courteously ; says I, for their unkind- 
ness, and my own foolishness, all the thanks to that 
gorgio. Answers to me the child, ' I wish I could 
set eyes upon him, bebee.' " 

" I did so, bebee ; go on." 

" ' How shall I know him, bebee ?' says (he child. 
' Young and grey, tall, and speaks Bomanly.' 
Buns to me the child, and says, ' I 've found him, 
bebee.' * Where, child ? ' says I. ' Gome with me, 

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bebee/ says the child. 'That's he/ says I, as I 
looked at my gentleman through the hedge." 

" Ha, ha ! bebee, and here he lies, poisoned like a 

" You have taken drows, sir," said Mrs. Heme ; 
" do you hear, sir ? drows; tip him a stave, child, of 
the song of poison." 

And thereupon the girl clapped her hands, and 
sang — 

" The Bomman J- cburl 
And the Eommanj girl, 
To-morrow shall hie 
To poison the sty. 
And bewitch on the mead 
The farmer's steed.'' 

"Do you hear that, sir?" said Mrs. Heme; 
"the child has tipped you a stave of the song of 
poison ; that is, she has sung it Christianly, though 
perhaps you would like to hear it Romanly ; you 
were always fond of what was Boman. Tip it him 
Bomanly, child." 

" He has heard it Bomanly already, bebee ; 'twas 
by that I found him out, as I told you." 

" Halloo, sir, are you sleeping ? you have taken 

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drows ; the gentleman makes no answer. God give 
me patience ! " 

** And what if he doesn't, hehee ; isn't he poi- 
soned like a hog ? Gendeman ! indeed, why caU 
him gendeman? if he ever was one he's hroke, 
and is now a tinker, a worker of blue metal." 

" That 's his way child, to-day a tinker, to-mor- 
row something else ; and as for being drabbed, I 
don't know what to say about it." 

" Not drabbed ! what do you mean, bebee ? but 
look there, bebee; ha, ha, look, at die gendeman's 

" He is sick, child, sure enough. Ho, ho ! sir, 
you have taken drows ; what, another diroe ! writhe 
mr, writhe, the hog died by the drow of gypsies ; 
I saw him stretched at evening. That 's yourself, 
sir. There is no hope, sir, no help, you have taken 
drow ; shall I tell you your fortune, sir, your duk- 
kerin? God bless you, pretty gendeman, much 
trouble will you have to suffer, and much water to 
cross ; but never mind, pretty gendeman, you shall 
be fortunate at the end, and those who hate shall 
take off their hats to you." 

" Hey, bebee!" cried the girl; "what is diis? 

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66 THE DOG, [Ch. IV. 

what do you mean ? yoa have blessed the 
gorgio !" 

" Blessed him ! no, sure ; what did I say ? Oh, 
I remember, I 'm mad ; well, I can't help it» I said 
what the dukkerin dook told me ; woe's me, he '11 
get up yet." 

" Nonsense, bebee ! Look at his motions, he 's 
drabbed, spite of dukkerin." 

" Don't say so, child ; he 's sick, 'tis true, but 
don't laugh at dukkerin, only folks do that that 
know no better. I^ for one, will never laugh at the 
dukkerin dook. Sick again ; I wish he was gone." 

" He Tl soon be gone, bebee ; let *s leave him. 
He 's as good as gone ; look there, he 's dead." 

" No, he 's not, he '11 get up — I feel it; can't we 
hasten him?" 

'^ Hasten him ! yes, to be sure ; set the dog upon 
him. Here, juggal, look in there, my dog." 

The dog made its appearance at the door of the 
tent, and began to bark and tear up the ground. 

" At him, juggal, at him; he wished to poison, to 
drab you. Halloo ! " 

The dog barked violently, and seemed about to 
9piing at my face, but retreated. 

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Ch. IV.] Ely's church. 67 

'' The dog won't fly at him, child ; he flashed at 
the dog with his eye, and scared him. He '11 get 

*' Nonsense, bebee ! yon make me angry ; how 
shc^ild he get np ? " 

*' The dock tells me so, 8nd» what 's more, I had 
a dream. I thought I was at York^ standing amidst 
a crowd to see a man hnng^ and the crowd shonted 
' Thare he comes !' and I looked, and, lo ! it was the 
tinker; before I conld cry with joy I was whisked 
away, and I found myself in Ely's big chorchi 
which was chock full of people to hear the dean 
preach, and all eyes were turned to the big pulpit; 
and presently I heard them say, 'There he mounts!' 
and I looked up to the big pulpit, and, lo ! the tinker 
was in the pulpit, and he raised his ami and began 
to preach. Anon, I found myself at York again, 
just as the drop fell, and I looked up, and I saw 
not the tinker, but my own self hanging in the 

" You are going mad, bebee ; if you want to 
hasten him, take your stick and poke him in the 

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68 GET UP, BEBEE. [Ch. IV. 

" That will be of no use, child, the dukkerin 
tells me so; but I will try what I can do. Halloo, 
tinker! you must introduce yourself into a quiet 
fandly, and raise confusion — must you ? You must 
steal its language, and, what was never done before, 
write it down Christianly — ^must you ? Take that — 
and that;" and she stabbed violently with her stick 
towards the end of the tent. 

" That's right, bebee, you struck his face; now 
once more, and let it be in the eye. Stay, what 's 
that ? get up, bebee." 

" What 's the matter, child ? " 

" Some one is coming, come, away." 

" Let me make sure of him, child ; he 'U be up 
yet" And thereupon Mrs. Heme, rising, leaned 
forward into the tent, and, supporting herself against 
the pole, took aim in the direction of the farther 
end. " I will thrust out his eye," said she ; and,, 
lounging with her stick, she would probably have 
accomplished her purpose had not at that moment 
the pole of the tent given way, whereupon she fell 
to the ground, the canvas falling upon her and her 
intended victim. 

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OIlIY.] the vehicle. 69 

*' Here 'b a pretty affair^ bebee," screamed the 

" He 'U get up, yet," said Mrs. Heme, from be- 
neath the canyas. 

" Get up ! — get up yourself; where are you ? where 
is your .... Here, there, bebee, here's the door; 
there, make haste, they are coming." 

" He 'U get up yet," said Mrs. Heme, recovering 
her breath, " the dook tells me so." 

" Never mind him or the dook; he is drabbed; 
come away, or we shall be grabbed — both of us." 

" One more blow, I know where his head lies." 

" You are mad, bebee ; leave the fellow — gorgio 

And thereupon the females hurried away. 

A vehicle of some kind was evidently drawing 
nigh ; in a little time it came alongside of the place 
where lay the fallen tent, and stopped suddenly. 
There was a silence for a moment, and then a parley 
ensued between two voices, one of which was that 
of a woman. It was not in English, but in a deep 
guttural tongue. 

" Peth yw bono sydd yn gorwedd yna ar y 
ddaear ? " said a masculine voice. 

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" Yn wirionedd — I do not know what it can be/* 
said the female yoice, in the same tongue. 

*^ Here is a cart^ and there are tools; but what is 
that on the ground ? " 

** Something moves beneath it ; and what was 
that— a groan ? " 

"Shall I get down?" 

" Of course, Peter, some one may want your 

" Th&n I will get down, though I do not like 
this place, it is frequented by Egyptians, and I do 
not like their yellow faces, nor their clibberty 
clabber, as Master Ellis Wyn says. Now I am 
down. It is a tent, Winifred, and see, here is a boy 
beneath it. Merciftd father ! what a face ! " 

A middle-aged man, with a strongly marked and 
serious countenance, dressed in sober-coloured habi- 
liments, had lifted up the stifling folds of the tent, 
and was bending oyer me. " Can you speak, my 
lad?" said he in English, "what is the matter with 
you ? if you could but tell me^ I could perhaps 

help you." " What is that you say ? I can't hear 

you. I will kneel down ; " and he flung himself on 
the ground, and placed his ear close to my mouth. 

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" Now speak if you can. Hey ! what! no, sure, God 
forbid ! " then starting up, he cried to a female who 
sat in the cart, anxiously looking on — ** Gwen- 
wyn ! gwenwyn ! yw y gwas wedi ei gwenwynaw. 
The oil ! Winifred, the oil !" 

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The oil, which the strangers compelled me to take, 
produced the desired effect, though, during at least 
two hours, it was very doubtful whether or not my 
life would be saved. At the end of that period 
the man said, that with the blessing of God, he 
would answer for my life. He then demanded 
whether I thought I could bear to be removed irom 
the place in which we were ? " for I like it not," he 
continued, " as something within me tells me that 
it is not good for any of us to be here." I told him, 
as well as I was able, that I, too, should be glad to 
leave the place; whereupon, after collecting my 
things, he harnessed my pony, and, with the assist- 
ance of the woman, he contrived to place me in the 
cart ; he then gave me a draught out of a small phial. 

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and we set forward at a slow pace, the man walking 
by the side of the cart in which I lay. It is pro- 
bable that the draught consisted of a strong opiate, 
for after swallowing it I fell into a deep slomber ; 
on my awaking, I found that the shadows of night 
had enveloped the earth — we were still moving on. 
Shortly, however, after descending a declivity, we 
tamed into a lane, at the entrance of which was a 
gate. This lane conducted to a meadow, through 
the middle of which ran a small brook ; it stood 
between two rising grounds, that on the left, which 
was on the farther side of the water, was covered 
with wood, whilst the one on the right, which was 
not so high, was crowned with the white walls of 
what appeared to be a farm-house. 

Advancing along the meadow, we presently came 
to a place where grew three immense oaks, almost 
on the side of the brook, over which they flung 
their arms, so as to shade it as with a canopy ; the 
ground beneath was bare of grass, and nearly as 
hard and smooth as the floor of a bam. Having 
led his own cart on one side of the midmost tree, 
and my own on the other, the stranger said to me, 
" This is. the spot where my wife and myself gene- 


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74 WINIFRED. [Ch. V. 

rally tarry in the summer season, when we come 
into these parts. We are about to pass the night 
here. I suppose you will have no objection to do the 
same ? Indeed, I do not see what else you could do 
under present circumstances." Afker receiving my 
answer, in which I, of course, expressed my readi- 
ness to assent to his proposal, he proceeded to un- 
harness his horse, and, feeling myself much better, 
I got down, and begem to make the necessary pre- 
parations for passing the night beneath the oak. 

Whilst thus engaged, I felt myself touched on 
the shoulder, and, looking round, perceived the 
woman, whom the stranger called Winifred, stand- 
ing close to me. The moon was shining brightly 
upon her, and I observed that she was very good 
looking, with a composed, yet cheerful expression of 
countenance; her dress was plain and primitive, 
very much resembling that of a Quaker. She held 
a straw bonnet in her hand. " T am glad to see 
thee moving about, young man," said she, in a soft, 
placid tone ; " I could scarcely have expected it. 
Thou must be wondrous strong ; many, after what 
thou hast suffered, would not have stood on their feet 
for weeks and months. What do I say ? — Peter, my 

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husband, who is skilled in medicine, just now told 
me that not one in five hundred would have sur- 
vived what thou hast this day undergone ; but allow 
me to ask thee one thing, Hast thou returned 
thanks to God for thy deliverance ?" I made no 
answer, and the woman, after a pause, said, " Ex- 
cuse me, young man, but do you know anything of 
God?" "Very Uttle," I repUed, "but I should 
say he must be a wondrous strong person, if he 
made all those big bright things up above there, to 
say nothing of the ground on which we stand, which 
bears beings like these oaks, each of which is fifty 
times as strong as myself, and will live twenty 
times as long." The woman was silent for some 
moments, and then said, " I scarcely know in what 
spirit thy words are uttered. If thou art serious, 
however, I would caution thee against supposing 
that the power of God is more manifested in these 
trees, or even in those bright stars above us, than in 
thyself — they are things of time, but thou art a 
being destined to €Ui eternity ; it depends upon thy- 
self whether thy eternity shall be one of joy or 

Here she was interrupted by the man, who ex- 

E 2 

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76 WITH god's will. [Ch. V. 

claimed from the other side of the tree, " Winifred, 
it is getting late, you had better go up to the house 
on the hill to inform our friends of our arrival, or 
they will have retired for the night." " True," said 
Winifred, and forthwith wended her way to the 
house in question, returning shordy with another 
woman, whom the man, speaking in the same lan- 
guage which I had heard him first use, greeted by 
the name of Mary ; the woman replied in the same 
tongue, but almost immediately said, in English, 
*' We hoped to have heard you speak to-night, 
Peter, but we cannot expect that now, seeing that it 
is so late, owing to your having been detained by 
the way, as Winifred tells me ; nothing remains for 
you to do now but to sup — to-morrow, with Gods 
will, we shall hear you." " And to-night, also, 
with God's will, provided you be so disposed. Let 
those of your family come hither." " They will be 
hither presently," said Mary, "for knowing that 
thou art arrived, they will, of course, come and bid 
thee welcome." And scarcely had she spoke, when 
I beheld a party of people descending the moonlit 
side of the hill. They soon arrived at the place 
where we were ; they might amount in all to twelve 

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Oh. v.] THE PREACHER. 77 

indiYiduals. The principal person was a tall, 
athletic man, of about forty, dressed like a plain 
country farmer ; this was, I soon found, the husband 
of Mary; the rest of the group consisted of the 
children of these two, and their domestic servants. 
One after another they all shook Peter by the hand, 
men and women, boys and girls, and expressed their 
joy at seeing him. After which, he said, '* Now, 
fiiends, if you please, I will speak a few words to 
you." A stool was then brought him from the cart, 
which he stepped on, and the people arranging 
themselves round him, some standing, some seated 
on the ground, he forthwith began to address them 
in a clear, distinct voice ; and the subject of his 
discourse was the necessity, in all human beings, 
of a change of heart 

The preacher was better than his promise, for, 
instead of speaking a few words, he preached for at 
least three quarters of an hour ; none of the audi- 
ence, however, showed the slightest S3rmptom of 
weariness ; on the contrary, the hope of each indi- 
vidual Appeared to hang upon the words which pro- 
ceeded from his mouth. At the conclusion of the 
sermon or discourse, the whole assembly again 

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shook Peter by the hand, and returned to their 
house, the mistress of the family saying, as she de- 
parted, " I shall soon be back, Peter, I go but to 
make arrangements for the supper of thyself and 
company;** and, in eflPect, she presently returned, 
attended by a young woman, who bore a tray in her 
hands ; " Set it down, Jessy," said the mistress to 
the girl, ** and then betake thyself to thy rest, I 
shall remain here for a little time to talk with my 
friends." The girl departed, and the preacher and 
the two females placed themselves on the ground 
about the tray. The man gave thanks, and himself 
and his wife appeared to be about to eat, when the 
latter suddenly placed her hand upon his arm, and 
said something to him in a low voice, whereupon he 
exclaimed, "Ay, truly, we were both forgetfiil;** 
and then getting up, he came towards me, who 
stood a little way oflP, leaning against the wheel of 
my cart; and, taking me by the hand, he said, 
" Pardon us, young man, we were both so engaged 
in our own creature-comforts, that we forgot thee, 
but it is not too late to repair our fault; wilt thou 
not join us, and taste our bread and milk?" ''I 
cannot eat," I replied, '' but I think I could drink 

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Ch. v.] CROESAW. 79 

a little milk ;" whereupon he led me to the rest, and 
seating me by his side, he ponred some milk into a 
horn cup, saying, " * Croesaw.' That," added he, 
mth a smile, " is Welsh for welcome." 

The fare upon the tray was of the simplest de- 
scription, consisting of bread, cheese, milk, and 
curds. My two friends partook with a good appe- 
tite. " Mary," said the preacher, addressing him- 
self to the woman of the house, "every time I 
come to visit thee, I find thee less inclined to speak 
Welsh. I suppose, in a little time, thou wilt en- 
tirely have forgotten it ; hast thou taught it to any 
of thy children ? " " The two eldest understand a 
few words," said the woman, " but my husband 
does not wish them to learn it ; he says sometimes, 
jocularly, that though it pleased him to marry a 
Welsh wife, it does not please him to have Welsh 
children. Who, I have heard him say, would be a 
Welshman, if he could be an Englishman?" " I 
for one," said the preacher, somewhat hastily; " not 
to be king of all Englcmd would I give up my 
birthright as a Welshman. Your husband is an ex- 
cellent person, Mary, but I am afraid he is some- 
what prejudiced." " You do him justice, Peter, in 

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saying that he is an excellent person," said the 
woman ; " as to being prejudiced, I scarcely know 
what to say, but he thinks that two languages in 
the same kingdom are almost as bad as two kings." 
"That's no bad observation," said the preacher, 
" and it is generally the case ; yet, thank God, the 
Welsh and English go on very well, side by side, 
and I hope will do so till the Almighty callfi all men 
to their long account," " They jog on very well 
now," said the woman ; but I have heard my hus- 
band say that it was not always so, and that the 
Welsh, in old times, were a violent and ferocious 
people, for that once they hanged the mayor of 
Chester." " Ha, ha ! " said the preacher, and his 
eyes flashed in the moonlight; " he told you that, 
did he?" "Yes," said Mary; "once, when the 
mayor of Chester, with some of his people, was 
present at one of the fairs over the border, a quarrel 
arose between the Welsh and the English, €uid the 
Welsh beat the English, and hanged the mayor." 
" Your husband is a clever man," said Peter, " and 
knows a great deal ; did he tell you the name of the 
leader of the Welsh?" "No! then I will: the 
leader of the Welsh on that occasion was 

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He was a powerfdl chieftain, and there was an old 
feud between him and the men of Chester. After- 
wards^ when two hundred of the men of Chester 
invaded his country to take revenge for their mayor, 
he enticed them into a tower, set fire to it, and 
burnt them all. That .... was a very fine, noble 
—God forgive me, what was I about to say ! — a 
very bad, violent man; but, Mary, this is very car- 
nal and unprofitable conversation, and in holding 
it we set a very bad example to the young man 
here — let us change the subject" 

They then began to talk on religious matters. 
At length Mary departed to her abode, and the 
preacher and his wife retired to their tilted cart. 

" Poor fellow, he seems to be almost brutally 
ignorant," said Peter, addressing his wife in their 
native language, after they had bidden me farewell 
for the night 

" I am afiraid he is," said Winifired, " yet my heart 
warms to the poor lad, he seems so forlorn." 

£ 8 

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I SLEPT soundly during that night, partly owing to 
the influence of the opiate. Early in the morning 
I was awakened by the voices of Peter and his wife, 
who were singing a morning hymn in their own 
language. Both subsequently prayed long and fer- 
vently. I lay still till their devotions were com- 
pleted, and then lefb my tent. " Good morning," 
said Peter, "how dost thou feel?" "Much bet- 
ter," said I, "than I could have expected." "I 
am glad of it," said Peter. " Art thou hungry ? 
yonder comes our breakfast," pointing to the same 
young woman I had seen the preceding night, who 
was again descending the hill bearing the tray 
upon her head. 

"What dost thou intend to do, young man, this 

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Ch. VI.] MUCH ALONE. 88 

day T said Peter, when we had ahout half finished 
breakfast. "Do," said I; ** as I do other days, 
what I can." "And dost thou pass this day as 
thou dost other days?" said Peter. "Why not?" 
said I ; " what is there in this day diflFerent from 
the rest ; it seems to be of the same colour as yes- 
terday." "Art thou aware," said the wife, inter- 
posing, "what day it is? that it is Sabbath? that it 
is Sunday?" " No," said I, "I did not know that 
it was Sunday." "And how did that happen?" 
said Winifred, with a sigh. "To tell you the truth," 
said I, "I live very much alone, and pay very 
litde heed to the passing of time." "And yet of 
what infinite importance is time," said Winifred. 
"Art thou not aware that every year brings thee 
nearer to thy end?" "I do not think," said I, 
" that I am so near my end as I was yesterday." 
" Yes, thou art,** said the woman ; " thou wast not 
doomed to die yesterday; an invisible hand was 
watching over thee yesterday; but thy day will 
come, therefore improve the time; be grateftil that 
thou wast saved yesterday; and, oh! reflect on one 
thing ; if thou hadst died yesterday, where wouldst 
thou have been now?" " Cast into the earth, per- 

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haps," said I. " I have heard Mr. Petulengro say 
that to be cast into the earth is the natural end of 
man." "Who is Mr. Petulengro?" said Peter, in- 
terrupting his wife, as she was about to speaJc. 
" Master of the horse-shoe," said I ; " and, accord- 
ing to his own account, king of Egypt." "I 
understand," said Peter, "head of some family of 
wandering Egyptians — they are a race utterly god- 
less. Art thou of them? — but no^ thou art not, 
thou hast not their yellow blood. I suppose thou 
belongest to the family of wandering artizans called 
.... I do not like you the worse for belonging 
to them. A mighty speaker of old sprang up from 
amidst that family." "Who was he?" said I. 
"John Bunyan," replied Peter, reverently, "and 
the mention of his name reminds me that I have to 
preach this day; wilt thou go tmd hear? the dis- 
tance is not great, only half a mile." " No," said I, 
" I will not go and hear." " Wherefore ?" said Peter. 
" I belong to the church," said I, " and not to the 
congregations." " Oh ! the pride of that church," 
said Peter, addressing his wife in their own tongue, 
" exemplified even in the lowest and most ignorant 
of its members." " Then thou, doubtless, meanest to 

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go to chnrch/' said Peter, again addresedDg me; 
*' there is a church on the other side of that wooded 
hilL" "No," said I, ''I do not mean to go to 
church/' " May. I ask thee wherefore ? " said Peter. 
" Because/' said I, " I prefer remaining beneath the 
shade of these trees, hstening to the sound of the 
leaves, and the tinkling of the waters." 

" Then thou intendest to remain here ?" saidPeter, 
looking fixedly at me. "If I do not intrude," said 
I; "but if I do, I will wander away; I wish to be 
beholden to nobody — perhaps you wish me to go ?" 
" On the contrary," said Peter, "I wish you to stay. 
I begin to see something in thee which has much 
interest for me; but we must now bid thee farewell 
for the rest of the day, the time is drawing nigh for 
us to repair to the place of preaching; before we 
leave thee alone, however, I should wish to ask thee 
a question — Didst thou seek thy own destruction 
yesterday, and didst thou wilAilly take that poi- 
son?" "No," said I; "had I known there had 
been poison in the cake I certainly should not have 
taken it." "And who gave it thee?" said Peter. 
" An enemy of mine," I replied. " Who is thy 
enemy?" "An Egyptian sorceress and poison- 

%_ Digitized by Google 

86 SIXTY-FIVE. [Ch. VI. 

monger." "Thy enemy is a female. I fear thou 
hadst given her cause to hate thee— of what did 
she complain?" "That I had stolen the tongue 
out of her head." " I do not understand thee — is 
she young ? ** " About sixty -five." 

Here Winifred interposed. " Thou didst call her 
just now by hard names, young man," said she ; " I 
trust thou dost bear no malice against her." " No," 
said I, " I bear no malice against her." " Thou art 
not wishing to deliver her into the hand of what is 
called justice?" "By no means," said I; "I have 
lived long enough upon the roads not to cry out for 
the constable when my finger is broken. I consider 
this poisoning as an accident of the roads; one of 
those to which those who travel are occasionally 
subject." "In short, thou forgivest thine adver- 
sary ?" " Both now and for ever," said I. " Truly," 
said Winifred, "the spirit which the young man 
displayeth pleases me much ; I should be loth that 
he left us yet. I have no doubt that, with the bless- 
ing of God, and a little of thy exhortation, he will 
turn out a true Christian before he leaveth us." 
"My exhortation!" said Peter, and a dark shade 
passed over his countenance ; " thou forgettest what 

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I am — I — ^I — ^but I am forgetting myself; the Lord's 
inll be done; and now pat away the things^ for I 
perceive that our £riends are coming to attend us to 
the place of meeting/' 

Again the family which I had seen the night 
before descended the hill from their abode. They 
were now dressed in their Sunday's best The mas- 
ter of the house led the way. They presently joined 
us, when a quiet sober greeting ensued on each 
side. After a little time Peter shook me by the 
hand and bade me farewell till the evening; Wini- 
fred did the same^ adding, that she hoped I should 
be visited by sweet and holy thoughts. The whole 
party then moved off in the direction by which we 
had come the preceding night, Peter and the master 
leading the way, followed by Winifred and the mis- 
tress of the family. As I gazed on their departing 
forms, I felt ahnost inclined to follow them to their 
place of worship. I did not stir, however, but 
remained leaning against my oak with my hands 
behind me. ^ 

And after a time I sat me down at the foot of the 
oak with my face turned towards the water, and, 
folding my hands, I fell into deep meditation. I 

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thought on the early Sabbaths of my life^ and the 
manner in which I was wont to pass them. How 
earefuUy I said my prayers when I got up on the 
Sabbath mom, and how carefully I combed my hair 
and brushed my clothes in. order that I might do 
credit to the Sabbath day. I thought of the old 

church at pretty D , the dignified rector, and 

yet more dignified clerk. I thought of England's 
grand Liturgy, and Tate and Brady's sonorous 
minstrelsy. I thought of the Holy Book, portions 
of which I was in the habit of reading between ser- 
vice. I thought, too, of the evening walk which I 
sometimes took in fine weather like the present, 
with my mother and brother — a quiet sober walk, 
during which I would not break into a run, even to 
chase a butterfly, or yet more a honey-bee,^ being 
ftilly convinced of the dread importance of the day 
which God had hallowed. And how glad I was 
when I had got over the Sabbath day without 
having done anything to profane it And how 
soundly I slept on the Sabbath night after the toil 
of being very good throughout the day. 

And when I had mused on those times a long 
while, I sighed and said to myself, I am much 

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altered sinoe then; am I altered for the better? 
And thaa I looked at my hands and my apparel, 
and sighed > again. I was not wont of yore to 
appear thus on the Sabbath day. 

For a long time I continued in a state of deep 
meditation, till at last I lifted up my eyes to the 
sun, which, as usual during that glorious summer, 
was shining in unclouded majesty; and then I 
lowered them to the sparkling water, in which hun- 
dreds of the finny brood were disporting themselves, 
and then I thought what a fine thing it was to be a 
fish on such a fine summer day, and I wished 
myself a fish, or at least amongst the fishes; and 
then I looked at my hands again, and then, bending 
over the water, I looked at my ftice in the crystal 
mirror, and started when I saw it, for it looked 
squalid and miserable. 

Forthwith I started up, and said to myself, I 
should like to bathe aad eleanse myself fix)m the 
squalor produced by my late hard life and by Mrs. 
Heme s drew. I wonder if there is aay harm in 
bathing on the Sabbath day. I will ask Winifred 
when she comes home; in the mean time I will 
bathe, provided I can find a fitting place. 

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90 THE PORCH. [Ch. VI. 

But the brook, though a very delightful place for 
fish to disport in^ was shallow, and by no means 
adapted for the recreation of so large a being as 
myself; it was, moreover, exposed, though I saw 
nobody at hand, nor heard a single human voice or 
sound. Following the winding of the brook I left 
the meadow, and, passing through two or three 
thickets, came to a place where between lofty banks 
the water ran deep and dark, and there I bathed, 
imbibing new tone and vigour into my languid and 
exhausted frame. 

Having put on my clothes, I returned by the way 
I had come to my vehicle beneath the oak tree. 
From thence, for want of something better to do, I 
strolled up the hill, on the top of which stood the 
farm-house ; it was a large and commodious build- 
ing built principally of stone, and seeming of some 
antiquity, with a porch, on either side of which was 
an oaken bench. On the right was seated a 
young woman with a book in her hand, the same 
who had brought the tray to my ftiends and 

''Good day," said I, *' pretty damsel, sitting in 
the farm porch." 

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" Good day/' said the girl^ looking at me for a 
moment, and then fixing her eyes on her hook. 

*' That's a nice book you are reading," said I. 

The girl looked at me with surprise. " How do 
you know what book it is ? " said she. 

" How do I know — never mind ; but a nice book 
it is — no love, no fortune-telling in it." 

The girl looked at me half oflfended. " Fortune- 
telling !" said she, " I should think not But you 
know nothing about it ;" and she bent her head 
once more over the book. 

"I tell you what, young person," said I, "I 
know all about that book; what will you wager that 
I do not?" 

" I never wager," said the girl. 

" Shall I tell you the name of it," said I, " 
daughter of the dairy?" 

The girl half started. "I should never have 
thought," said she, haK timidly, " that you could 
have guessed it." 

" I did not guess it," said I, " I knew it ; and 
meet and proper it is that you should read it." 

"Why so?" said the girl. 

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92 THE master's niece. [Ch.VI. 

'^Can the daughter of the dairy read a more 
fitting book than the ' Dairyman's Daughter? " 

" Where do you come from ? " said the girl. 

"Out of the water," said I. "Don't start, I 
have been bathing; are you fond of the water?** 

" No," said the girl, heaving a sigh; " I am not 
fond of the water, that is, of the sea;" and here she 
sighed again. 

" The sea is a wide gulf," said I, " and frequently 
separates hearts." 

The girl sobbed. 

"Why are you alone here ?" said I. 

" I take my turn with the rest*" said the girl, 
" to keep at home on Sunday." 

"And you are . . . ." s^d I. 

"The master's niece!" said the girl. "How came 
you to know it? But why did you not go with the 
rest and with your friends? " 

" Who are those you call my friends ? " said I. 

" Peter and his wife." 

"And who are they?" said I. 

" Do you not know ? " said the girl ; " you came 
with them." 

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" They found me ill by the way," said I ; "and 
they relieyed me: I know nothing about them." 

*' I thought you knew everything," said the girl. 

*^ There are two or three things which J do not 
know, and this is one of them. Who are they?" 

" Did you never hear of the great Welsh preacher, 
Peter Williams?" 

" Never," said I. 

"Well," said the girl, "this is he, and Winifred 
is his wife, and a nice person she is. Some people 
say, indeed, that she is as good a preacher as her 
husband, though of that matter I can say nothing, 
having never heard her preach. So these two wan- 
der over all Wales and the greater part of England, 
comforting the hearts of the people with their doc- 
trine, and doing all the good they can. They fre- 
quently come here, for the mistress is a Welsh 
woman, and an old friend of both, and then they 
take up their abode in the cart beneath the old oaks 
down there by the stream." 

"And what is their reason for doing so ?" said I; 
*' would it not be more comfortable to sleep beneath 
a roof?" 

" I know not their reasons," said the girl, " but 

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SO it is ; they never sleep beneath a roof unless the 
weather is very severe. I once heard the mistress 
say that Peter had something heavy upon his mind ; 
perhaps that is the cause. If he is unhappy, all I 
can say is, that I wish him otherwise, for he is a 
good man and a kind . . . ." 

" Thank you," said I, " I will now depart." 

" Hem!" said the girl, " I was wishing . . . ." 

" What ? to ask me a question ? " 

" Not exactly; but you seem to know every- 
thiDg ; you mentioned, I think, fortune- telling." 

" Do you wish me to tell your fortune ? " 

" By no means ; but I have a friend at a distance 
at sea, and I should wish to know . . . ." 

" When he will come back ? I have told you 
already there ore two or three things which I do not 
know — this is another of them. However, I should 
not be surprised if he were to come back some of 
these days; I would if I were in his place. In the 
mean time be patient, attend to the dairy, and read 
the * Dairyman's Daughter ' when you have nothing 
better to do." 

It was late in the evening when the party of the 
morning returned. The farmer and his family re- 

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paired at once to their abode, and my two fiiends 
joined me beneath the tree. Peter sat down at the 
foot of the oak, and said nothing. Supper was 
brought by a servant^ not the damsel of the porch. 
We sat round the tray, Peter said grace, but scarcely 
an3rthing else; he appeared sad and dejected, his 
wife looked anxiously upon him. I was as silent as 
my friends; after a little time we retired to our 
separate places of rest. 

About midnight I was awakened by a noise ; I 
started up and listened; it appeared to me that I 
heard voices emd groans. In a moment I had 
issued from my tent — all was silent — but the next 
moment I again heard groans and voices; they pro- 
ceeded from the tilted cart where Peter and his wife 
lay; I drew near, again there was a pause, and then 
I heard the voice of Peter, in an accent of extreme 
anguish, exclaim, " Pechod Tsprydd Glan — 
pechod Tsprydd Glan ! " and then he uttered a deep 
groan. Anon, I heard the voice of Winifred, and 
never shall I forget the sweetness and gentleness of 
the tones of her voice in the stillness of that night. 
I did not understand all she said — she spoke in 
her native language, and I was some way apart ; 

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she appeared to endeavour to console her husband, 
but he seemed to refuse all comfort^ and, -with 
many groans, repeated — ** Pechod Tsprydd Glan — 
O pechod Tsprydd Glan!" I felt I had no right to 
pry into their auctions, and retired. 

Now " pechod Tsprydd Glan," interpreted, is the 
sin against the Holy Ghost. 

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Peter and Ms wife did not proceed on any expedi- 
tion during the following day. The fonner strolled 
gloomily about the fields^ and the latter passed 
many hours in the farmhouse. Towards evening, 
without saying a word to either, I departed with my 
vehicle, and finding my way to a small town at 
some distance, I laid in a store of various articles, 
with which I returned. It was night, and my two 
friends were seated beneath the oak ; they had just 
completed their frugal supper. "We waited for 
thee some time," said Winifred, " but, finding that 
thou didst not come, we began without thee ; but 
sit down, I pray thee, there is still enough for thee." 
" I will sit down," said I, " but I require no supper, 
for I have eaten where I have been : " nothing more 


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98 PRIDE. [Ch. VII. 

paxticular occurred at the time. Next morning 
the kind pair invited me to share their hreakfast. 
'' I will not share your breakfast/' said I. "Where- 
fore not?" said Winifred, anxiously. "Because," 
said I, " it is not proper that I be beholden to you 
for meat and drink." "But we are beholden to 
other people," said Winifred. " Yes," said I, " but 
you preach to them, and give them ghostly advice, 
which considerably alters the matter; not that I 
would receive anything from them, if I preached 
to them six times a day." " Thou art not fond of 
receiving favours, then, young man," said Winifred. 
" I am not," said I. " And of conferring favours? " 
"Nothing affords me greater pleasure," said I, 
"than to confer favours." "What a disposition," 
said Winifred, holding up her hands ; " and this is 
pride, genuine pride — that feeling which the world 
agrees to call so noble. Oh, how mean a thing is 
pride ! never before did I see all the meanness of 
what is called pride !" 

"But how wilt thou live, friend," said Peter, 
" dost thou not intend to eat ? " " When I went 
out last night," said I, "I laid in a provision." 
"Thou hast laid in a provision!" said Peter, 

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^'pray let us see it. Really Mend," said he, after 
I had produced it, "thou must drive a thriving 
trade; here are provisions enough to last three 
people for several days. Here are butter and eggs, 
here is tea, here is sugar, and there is a flitch. 
I hope thou wilt let us partake of some of thy 
fare." "I shoidd be very happy if you would," 
said I- "Doubt not but we shall," said Peter; 
" Winifred shall have some of thy flitch cooked for 
dinner. In the meantime, sit down, young man, 
and breakfast at our expense — we will dine at 

On the evening of that day, Peter and myself 
sat alone beneath the oak. We fell into conver- 
sation ; Peter was at first melancholy, but he soon 
became more cheerful, fluent, and entertaining. I 
spoke but little; but I observed that sometimes 
what I said surprised the good Methodist. We 
had been silent some time. At length, lifting up 
my eyes to the broad and leafy canopy of the trees, 
I said, having nothing better to remark, "What 
a noble tree ! I wonder if the fairies ever dance 
beneath it?" 

" Fairies ! " said Peter, " fairies ! how came you, 

IP 2 

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young man, to know anything about the fair 
family ? " 

'* I am ah Englishman," said I, " and of course 
know something about fairies; England was once 
a famous place for them." 

" Was once, I grant you," said Peter, " but is so 
no longer. I have travelled for years about Eng- 
land, and never heard them mentioned before ; the 
belief in them has died away, and even their name 
seems to be forgotten. If you had said you were 
a Welshman, I should not have been surprised. 
The Welsh have much to say of the Tylwyth Teg, 
or fair family, and many believe in them." 

" And do you believe in them ? " said I. 

" I scarcely know what to say. Wise and good 
men have been of opinion that they are nothing 
but devils, who, under the form of pretty and ami- 
able spirits, would fain allure poor human beings ; 
I see nothing irrational in the supposition." 

" Do you believe in devils then ? " 

"Do I believe in devils, young man;" said 
Peter, and his frame was shaken as if by convul- 
sions. " If I do not believe in devils, why am I 
here at the present moment ? " 

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Ch. VII.] ELLIS WYN. 101 

" You know best," said I ; " but I don't believe 
that fairieB are devils^ and I don't wish to hear 
them insulted. What learned men have said they 
are devils ? " 

'' Many have said it, young man, and; amongst 
others. Master Ellis Wyn, in that wonderful book 
of his, the *Bardd Cwsg/" 

"The *Bardd Owsg,'" said I; "what kind of 
book is that? I have never heard of that book 

" Heard of it before ; I suppose not ; how should 
you have heard of it before 1 By-the-bye, can you 

"Very tolerably," said I; "so there are fairies 
in this book. What do you call it— the 'Bardd 

"Yes, the * Bardd Cwsg.' You pronounce Welsh 
very fairly; have you ever been in Wales ? " 


" Not been in Wales ; then, of course, you don't 
understand Welsh; but we were talking of the 
'Bardd Owsg,* — yes, there are fairies in the 'Bardd 
Cwsg,' — the author of it, Master Ellis Wyn, 
was earned away in his sleep by them over moun- 

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tains and valleys, rivers and great waters, incurring 
mighty perils at their hands, till he was rescued 
from them hy an angel of the Most High, who 
subsequently showed him many wonder&l things." 

" I beg* your pardon/* said I, " but what were 
those wonderful things ? " 

"I see, young man," said Peter, smiling, that 
you are not without curiosity; but I can easily 
pardon any one for being curious about the won- 
ders contained in the book of Master Ellis. Wyn. 
The angel showed him the course of this world, 
its pomps and vanities, its cruelty and its pride, 
its crimes and deceits. On another occasion, the 
angel showed him Death in his nether palace, sur- 
rounded by his grisly ministers, and by those who 
are continually falling victims to his power. And, 
on a third occasion, the state of the condemned in 
their place of everlasting torment." 

" But this was all in his sleep," said I, " was it 

" Yes," said Peter, " in his sleep ; and on that 
account the book is called ' Gweledigaethau yBardd 
Cwsg/ or. Visions of the Sleeping Bard." 

**I do not care for wonders which occur in 

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sleep," said I. " I prefer real ones ; and perhaps, 
notwithstanding what he says, the man had no 
visions at all — they are probably of his own in- 

" They are substantially true, young man," said 
Peter; "like the dreams of Bunyan, they are founded 
on three tremendous facts. Sin, Death, and Hell; 
and like his they have done incalculable good, at 
least in my own country, in the language of which 
they are written. Many a guilty conscience has the 
^Bafdd Cwsg' aroused with its dreadful sights, its 
strong sighs, its puffs of smoke from the pit, and 
its showers of sparks from the mouth of the yet 
lower gulf of ... . Unknown — ^were it not for the 
* Bardd Cwsg * perhaps I might not be here." 

" I would sooner hear your own tale," said I, 
" than all the visions of the * Bardd Cwsg. ' " 

Peter shook, bent his form nearly double, and 
covered his face with his hands. I sat still and 
motionless, with my eyes fixed upon him. Pre- 
sently Winifred descended the hill, and joined us. 
*' What is the matter ? " said she, looking at her 
husband, who still remained in the posture I have 
described. He made no answer; whereupon, 

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laying her hand gendy on his shoulder, she said, 
in the peculiar soft and tender tone which I had 
heard her use, on a former occasion, "Take comfort, 
Peter; what has happened now to affict thee?" 
Peter removed his hand from his face. " The old 
pain, the old pain," said he ; " I was talking with 
this young man, and he would fain know what 
brought me here, he would fain hear my tale, Wini- 
fred — my sin : O pechod Ysprydd Glan ! O pe- 
chod Ysprydd Glan ! " and the poor man fell into a 
more fearful agony than before. Tears trickled 
down Winifred's face, I saw them trickling by the 
moonlight, as she gazed upon the writhing form of 
her a£9icted husband. I arose from my seat; "I 
am the cause of all this," said I, " by my folly and 
imprudence, and it is thus' I have returned your 
kindness and hospitaKty, I will depart from you 
and wander my way." I was retiring, but Peter 
sprang up and detained me. " Go not," said he, 
" you were not in fiiult ; if there be any fault in 
the case it was mine ; if I suffer, I am but paying 
the penalty of my own iniquity ; " he then paused, 
and appeared to be considering : at length he said, 
'^ Many things which thou hast seen and heard con- 

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Ch. VII.] THB TALE. 105 

nected with me^ require explanation; thou wishest 
to know my tale, I will tell it thee, but not now, 
not to-night; I am too much shaken." 

Two evenings later, when we were again seated 
beneath the oak, Peter took the hand of his wife in 
his own, and then, in tones broken and almost inar- 
ticulate, commenced telling me his tale — ^the tale of 
the Pechod Tysprydd Olan. 

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" I WAS bom in the heart of North Wales, the son 
of a respectable farmer, and am the youngest of 
seven brothers. 

"My father was a member of the Church of 
England, and was what is generally called a serious 
man. He went to church regularly, and read the 
Bible every Sunday evening; in his moments of 
leisure he was fond of holding religious discourse 
both with his family and his neighbours. 

*' One autumn afternoon, on a week day, my 
father sat with one of his neighbours taking a cup 
of ale by the oak table in our stone kitchen. I sat 
near them, and listened to their discourse. I was at 
that time seven years of age. They were talking of 
religious matters. ^ It is a hard matter to get to 

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heaven/ said my father. ' Exceedingly so/ said 
the other. ' However, I don't despond, none need 
despair of getting to heaven, save those who have 
committed the sin against the Holy Ghost' 

" * Ah ! ' said my father, ' thank God I never . 
committed that — ^how awfol must he the state of a 
person who has conmiitted the sin against the Holy 
Ghost. I can scarcely think of it without my hair 
standing on end ; ' and then my father and his friend 
began talking of the nature of the sin against the 
Holy Ghost, and I heard them say what it was, as 
I sat with greedy ears listening to their discourse. 

"I lay awake the greater part of the night musing 
upon what I had heard. I kept wondering to myself 
what must he the state of a person who had com- 
mitted the sin against the Holy Ghost, and how he 
must feel. Once or twice I felt a strong inclination 
to commit it, a strange kind of fear, however, pre- 
vented me ; at last I determined not to commit it, 
and, having said my prayers, I fell asleep, 

" When I awoke in the morning the first thing I 
thought of was the mysterious sin, and a voice 
within me seemed to say, 'Commit it;' and I felt 
a strong temptation to do so, even stronger than in 

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the night. I was just about to yield, when the same 
dread, of -which I have abeady spoken, came oyer 
me, and, springing out of bed, I went down on my 
knees. I slept in a small room alone, to which I 
, ascended by a wooden stair, open to the sky. I 
have often thought since that it is not a good thing 
for children to sleep alone. 

^' After breakfast I went to school, and endea- 
voured to employ myself upon my tasks, but all in 
vain ; I could think of nothing but the sin against 
the Holy Ghost; my eyes, instead of being fixed 
upon my book, wandered in vacancy. My master 
observed my inattention, and chid me. The time 
came for saying my task, and I had not acquired it. 
My master reproached me, and, yet more, he beat 
me ; I felt shame and anger, and I went home with 
a ftiU determination to commit the sin against the 
Holy Ghost. 

*' But when I got home my father ordered me to 
do something connected with the £aim, so that I 
was compeUed to exert myself; I was occupied till 
night, and was so busy that I almost forgot the sin 
and my late resolution. My work completed, I 
took my supper^ and went to my room ; I began 

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my prayers, and, -when they were ended, I thought 
of tiie sin, but the temptation was slight, I felt very 
tired, and was presently asleep. 

^' Thus, you see, I had plenty of time allotted me 
by a gracious and kind God to reflect on what I 
was about to do. He did not permit the enemy of 
souls to take me by surprise, and to hurry me at 
once into the commission of that which was to be 
my ruin here and hereafter. Whatever I did was 
of my own free will, after I had had time to reflect. 
Thus God is justified ; he had no hand in my de- 
struction, but, on the contrary, he did all that was 
compatible with justice to prevent it. I hasten to 
the fatal moment. Awaking in the night, I deter- 
mined that nothing should prevent my committing 
the sin. Arising from my bed, I went out upon the 
wooden gallery; and having stood for a few mo- 
ments looking at the stars, with which the heavens 
were thickly strewn, I laid myself down, and sup- 
porting my face with my hand, I murmured out 
words of horror, words not to be repeated, and in 
this manner I committed the sin against the Holy 

" When the words were uttered I sat up upon the 

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topmost Step of the gallery; for some time I felt 
stunned in somewhat the same manner as I once 
subsequently felt after being stung by an adder. I 
soon arose^ however, and retired to my bed, where, 
notwithstanding what I had done, I was not slow in 
falling asleep. 

" I awoke several times during the night, each 
time with the dim idea that something strange and 
monstrous had occurred, but I presently fell asleep 
again; in the morning I awoke with the same vague 
feeling, but presently recollection returned, and I re- 
membered that I had committed the sin against the 
Holy Ghost. I lay musing for some time on what 
T had done, and I felt rather stunned, as before ; at 
last I arose and got out of bed, dressed myself, and 
then went down on my knees, and was about to 
pray from the force of mechanical habit ; before I 
said a word, however, I recollected myself, and got 
up again. What was the use of praying ? I thought; 
I had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost 

I went to school, but sat stupified. I was again 
chidden, again beaten by my master. I felt no anger 
this time, and scarcely heeded the strokes. I looked, 
however, at my master's face, and thought to my- 

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self, you are beating me for being idle, as you sup- 
pose ; poor man, what would you do if you knew 1 
had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost ? 

^' Days and weeks passed by. I had once been 
cheerfiil, and fond of the society of children of my 
own age ; but I was now reserved and gloomy. It 
seemed to me that a gulf separated me from all my 
fellow-creatures. I used to -look at my brothers 
and schoolfellows, and think how different I was 
from them; they had not done what I had. I 
seemed, in my own eyes, a lone monstrous being, 
and yet, strange to say, I felt a kind of pride in 
being so. I was imhappy, but I frequently thought 
to myself, I have done what no one else would dare 
to do; there was something grand in the idea; I 
had yet to learn the horror of my condition. 

" Time passed on, and I began to think less of 
what I had done ; I began once more to take plea- 
sure in my childish sports ; I was active, and ex- 
celled at foot-ball and the like all the lads of my 
age. I likewise began, what I had never done be- 
fore, to take pleasure in the exercises of the school. 
I made great progress in Welsh and English gram- 
mar, and learnt to construe Latin. My master no 

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112 LAST WORDS. [Cii. VIII. 

longer chid or beat me, but one day told my father 
that he had no doubt that one day I should be an 
honour to Wales* 

" Shortly after this my father fell sick ; the pro- 
gress of the disorder was rapid; feeling his end ap- 
proaching, he called his children before him. After 
tenderly embracing us, he said ' God bless you, my 
children, I am going from you, but take comfort, I 
trust that we shall all meet again in heaven.' 

'' As he uttered these last words, horror took entire 
possession of me. Meet my father in heaven, — ^how 
could I ever hope to meet him there? I looked 
wildly at my brethren and at my mother; they 
were all bathed in tears, but how I envied them. 
They might hope to meet my father in heaven, but 
how different were they from me, they had never 
committed the unpardonable sin. 

" In a few days my father died ; he left his family 
in comfortable circumstances, at least such as 
would be considered so in Wales, where the wants 
of the people are few. My elder brother carried on 
the farm for the benefit of my mother and us all. 
In course of time my brothers were put out to 
various trades. I still remained at school^ but 

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Ch. VIIT.] A LONG TIME. 118 

mthout being a source of expense to my relations, 
as I ^as bj this time able to assist my master in 
the business of the school. 

*' I was diligent both in self-improvement and in 
the instraction of others ; nevertheless, a h(»rible 
weight pressed upon my breast; I knew I was a 
lost being; that for me there was no hope; that, 
though all others might be saved, I must of neces- 
sity be lost: I had committed the unpardonable sin, 
for which I was doomed to eternal punishment, in 
the flaming golf, as soon as life was over I — and how 
long could I hope to live ? perhaps fifty years ; at 
the end of which I must go to my place ; and then 
I would 6ount the months and the days, nay, even 
the hours which yet intervened between me and my 
doom. Sometimes I would comfort myself with the 
idea that a long time would elapse before my time 
would be out ; but then again I thought that, how- 
ever long the term might be, it must be out at last; 
and then I would fall into an agony, during which 
I would almost wish that the term were out, and 
that I were in my place ; the horrors of which I 
thought could scarcely be worse than what I then 

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"There was one thought about this time which 
caused me unutterable grief and shame^ perhaps 
more shame than grief. It was that my father, who 
was gone to heaven, and was there daily holding 
communion with his God, was by this time aware of 
my crime. I imagined him looking down from the 
clouds upon his wretched son, with a countenance 
of inexpressible horror. When this idea was upon 
me, I would often rush to some secret place to hide 
myself; to some thicket, where I would cast myself 
on the ground, and thrust my head into a thick 
bush, in order to escape from the horror-struck 
glance of my father above in the clouds ; and there 
I would continue groaning till the agony had, in 
^ome degree, passed away. 

** The wretchedness of my state increasing daily, it 
at last became apparent to the master of the school, 
who questioned me earnestly and affectionately. 
I, however, gave him no satisfactory answer, being 
apprehensive that, if I unbosomed myself, I should 
become as much an object of horror to him as I 
had long been to myself. At length he suspected 
that I was unsettled in my intellects ; and, fearing 
probably the ill effect of my presence upon his 

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Ch. VIII.] HAY OF HOPE. 1 1 5 

scholars^ he advised me to go home ; which I was 
glad to do, as I felt myself every day becoming less 
qualified for the duties of the office which I had 

" So I returned home to my mother and my brother, 
who received me with the greatest kindness and af- 
fection. I now determined to devote myself to hus- 
bandry, and assist my brother in the business of the 
farm. I was still, however, very much distressed. 
One fine morning, however, as I was at work in the 
field, and the birds were carolling around me, a ray 
of hope began to break upon my poor dark soul. 
I looked nt the earth and looked at the sky, and 
felt as I had not done for many a year; presently 
a delicious feeling stole over me. I was beginning 
to enjoy existence. I shall never forget that hour. 
I flung myself on the soil, and kissed it; then, 
springing up with a sudden impulse, I rushed into 
the depths of a neighbouring wood, and, falling 
upon my knees, did what I had not done for a long, 
long time — prayed to God. 

"A change, an entire change, seemed to have come 
over me. I was no longer gloomy and despairing, 
but gay and happy. My slumbers were light and 

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easy ; not disturbed, as before, by feightfiil dreams. 
I arose with the lark, and like him uttered a cheer- 
ful song of praise to God, frequently and earnestly, 
and was particularly cautious not to do anything 
which I considered might cause his displeasure. 

'' At church I was constant, and when there listened 
with deepest attention to every word which proceeded 
from the mouth of the minister. In a little time it 
appeared to me that I had become a good, very good 
young man. At times the recollection of the sin 
would return, and I would feel a momentary chill ; 
but the thought quickly vanished, and I again felt 
happy and secure. 

" One Sunday morning, after I had said iny prayers, 
I felt particularly joyous. I thought of the innocent 
and virtuous life I was leading; and when the re- 
collection of the sin intruded for a moment, I said, 
* I am sure God will never utterly cast away so 
good a creature as myself.' I went to church, and 
was as usual attentive. The subject of the sermon 
was on the duty of searching the Scriptures : all I 
knew of them was from the liturgy. I now, how- 
ever, determined to read them, and perfect the good 
work which I had begun. My father's Bible was 

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upon the shelf, and on that evening I took it with 
me to my chamber. I placed it on the table, and 
sat down. My heart was filled with pleasing anti- 
cipation. I opened the book at random, and began 
to read ; the first passage on which my eyes lighted 
was the following : — 

" * He who committeth the sin against the Holy 
Ghost shall not be forgiven, either in this world or 
the next.' " 

Here Peter was seized with convulsive tremors. 
Winifired sobbed violently. I got up, and went 
away. Returning in about a quarter of an hour, 
I found him more calm; he motioned me to sit 
down ; and, after a short pause, continued his nar- 

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"Where was I, young man? Oh, I remember, at 
the fatal passage which removed all hope. I will 
not dwell on what I felt. I closed my eyes, and 
wished that I might he dreaming; hut it was no 
dream, hut a terrific reality: I will not dwell on 
that period, I should only shock you. I could not 
hear my feelings; so, bidding my friends a hasty 
farewell, I abandoned myself to horror and despair, 
and ran wild through Wales, climbing mountains 
and wading streams. 

" Climbing mountains and wading streams, I ran 
wild about, I was burnt by the sun, drenched by 
the rain, and had firequendy at night no other 
covering than the sky, or the humid roof of some 
cave; but nothing seemed to affect my constitution; 

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Ch. IX.] LOFTY ROCK. 119 

probably the fire which burned within me counter- 
acted what I suffered from without During the 
space of three years I scarcely knew whatbefel me; 
my life was a dream — a wild, horrible dream ; more 
than once I believe I was in the hands of robbers, 
and once in the hands of gypsies. I liked the last 
description of people least of all; I could not 
abide their yellow faces, or their ceaseless clabber. 
Escaping from these beings, whose countenances 
and godless discourse brought to my mind the 
demons of the deep Unknown, I still ran wild 
through Wales, I know not how long. On one 
occasion, coming in some degree to my recol- 
lection, I felt myself quite unable to bear the 
horrors of my situation; looking round I found 
myself near the sea; instantly the idea came into 
my head that I would cast myself into it, and thus 
anticipate my final doom. I hesitated a moment, 
but a voice within me seemed to tell me that I could 
do no better; the sea was near, and I could not 
swim, so I determined to fling myself into the sea. 
As T was running along at great speed, in the direc- 
tion of a lofty rock, which beetled over the waters, 
I suddenly felt myself seized by the coat. I strove 

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to tear myself away, but in vain ; looking round, I 
perceived a venerable hale old man, who had hold 
of me. ' Let me go ! ' said I, fiercely. * I will not 
let thee go/ said the old man, and now instead of 
with one, he grappled me with both hands. ' In 
whose name dost thou detain me ? ' said I, scarcely 
knowing what I said. * In the name of my Master, 
who made thee and yonder sea; and has said to 
the sea, so far shalt thou come^ and no farther^ and 
to thee, thou shalt do no murder/ ^Has not a 
man a right to io what he pleases with his own?' 
said I. ' He has,' said the old man^ ' but thy life 
is not thy own; thou art accountable for it to thy 
God. Nay, I will not let thee go,' he continued, 
as I again struggled; 'if thou struggle with me 
the whole day I will not let thee go, as Charles 
Wesley says, in his " Wrestlings of Jacob ; " and 
see, it is of no use struggling, for I am, in the 
strength of my Master, stronger than thou;' and, 
indeed, all of a sudden I had become very weak and 
exhausted; whereupon the old man, beholding my 
situation, took me by the arm and led me gently to 
a neighbouring town, which stood behind a hill, 
and which I had not before observed; presently he 

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Ch. IX.] NO REST. 121 

Opened tfae door of a respectable'looking house, 
which stood beside a large buildiDg having the 
appearance of a chapel, and conducted me into a 
fonall room, with a great many books in it Having 
caused me to sit down, he stood looking at me for 
some time, occasionally heaving a sigh. I was, 
indeed, haggard and forlorn. ^ Who art thou?' he 
said at last. * A miserable man,' I replied. ' What 
makes thee mifferable?' said the old man. 'A 
hideous crime,' I replied. ^I can find no {"est; 
Uke Cam t wander l^re and there.' The old man 
tinned pale. ^Hast thou taken another's life?' 
said he ; * if so, I advise thee to surrender thyself 
to the magistrate; thou canst do no better; thy 
doing so will be the best proof of thy repentance; 
and though there be no hope for thee in this world 
ihi&re may be much in the next.' * No,' said I, 
* I have never taken another's life.* ' What then, 
another's goods ? If so, restore them seven-fold, if 
possible: or, if it be not in thy power, and thy 
conscience accuse thee, surrender thyself to the 
magistrate, and make the only satisfaction thou art 
able.' 'I have taken no one's goods,' scdd I. 
'Of what art thou guilty, then?' said he. ^Art 


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thou a drunkard? a profligate?' ' Alas, no/ said I; 
*I am neither of these; would that I were no 

'^ Thereupon the old man looked steadfastly at me 
for some time; then, after appearing to reflect, he 
said, 'Young man, I have a great desire to know 
your, name.* ' What matters it to you what is 
my name?' said I; 'you know nothing of me.* 
* Perhaps you are mistaken,' said the old man, 
looking kindly at me; 'but at all events tell me 
your name.' I hesitated a moment, and then told 
him who I was, whereupon he exclaimed with much 
emotion, 'I thought so; how wonderful are the 
ways of Providence. I have heard of thee, young 
man, and know thy mother well. Only a month 
ago, when upon a journey, I experienced much 
kindness from her. She was speaking to me of 
her lost child, with tears; she told me that you 
were one of the best of sons, but that some strange 
idea appeared to have occupied your mind. De- 
spair not, my son. If thou hast been afflicted, I 
doubt not but that thy affliction will eventually 
turn out to thy benefit ; I doubt not but that thou 
wilt be preserved;i as an example of the great mercy 

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C*. IX.] TWO FEMALES. 123 

<?f God. I will now kneel down and pray for thee, 
toy son.' 

** He knelt down, and prayed long and fervently. 
I rem£dned standing for some time; at length I 
knelt down likewise. I scarcely knew what he was 
saying, but when he concluded I said 'Amen/ 

''And when we had risen from our knees, the old 
man left me for a short time, and on his return 
led me into another room, where were two females ; 
one was an elderly person, the wife of the old 
man, — the other was a young woman of very pre- 
possessing appearance (hang not down thy head, 
Winifred), who I soon found was a distant relation 
of the old man, — both received me with great kind- 
ness, the old man having doubtless previously told 
them who I was. 

" I staid several days in the good man's house. 
I had still the greater portion of a small sum which 
I happened to have about me when I departed on 
my dolorous wandering, and with this I purchased 
clothes, and altered my appearance considerably. 
On the evening of the second day, my friend said, 
* I am going to preach, perhaps you will come and 
hear me.' I consented, ^nd we all went, not to 

G 2 

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a churcb, but to the large building next the house ; 
for the old man, though a clergyman, was not of 
the established persuasion, and there the old man 
mounted a pulpit, and began to preach. *Oome 
unto me, all ye that labour and are heayy laden,' 
&c., &c., was his text. His sermon was long, but 
I still bear the greater porticm of it in my miad. 

'" The substance of it was that Jesus was at all 
times ready to take upon himself the burden of our 
sisiB, provided we came to him with a humble and 
contrite spirit, and begged his help. This doctrine 
was new to me; I had often been at church, but 
had never heard it preached before^ at least so 
distinctly. When he said that all men might be 
saved, I Aodc, for I expected he would add, all 
except those who had committed the mysterious 
sin; but no, all men were to be saved who with 
a humble and contrite spirit would come to Jesus» 
cast themselves at the foot of his cross, and accept 
pardon through the merits of his blood-shedding 
alona ' ThereEtove, my firiends,' said he> in ooci- 
clufflOQH, * despair not — ^however guilty you may be, 
despair not— however desperate your condition may 
seem,' scdd he, fixing his eyes upon me, ^deq>air 

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not. There is nothing more foolish and more 
wicked than despair; overweening oonfidence is 
not more foolish than despair; both are the fa* 
vouiite weapons of the enemy of souls.' 

''This discourse gave rise in my mind to no slight 
perplexity. I had read in the Scriptures that he 
who committeth a certain sin shall: never be for- 
given, and that there is mo hope for him either in 
this world or the next. And here was a man, a 
good man certainly, and one who, of necessity, 
was thoroughly acquainted with the Scriptures, 
who told me that any one might be forgiven, how- 
ever wicked, who would only trust in Christ and 
in the merits of his blood- shedding. Did I believe 
in Christ ? Ay, truly. Was I willing to be saved 
by Christ? Ay, truly. Did I trust in Christ? 
I trusted that Christ would save every one but 
myself. And why not myself? simply because the 
Scriptures had told me that he who has committed 
the sin against the Holy Ghost can never be 
saved, and I had committed the sin against the 
Holy Ghost, — perhaps the only one who ever had 
committed it. How could I hope? The Scrip- 
tures could not lie, and yet here was this good 

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126 PERPLEXED. [Ch. IX. 

old man, profoundly versed in the Scriptiu'es, who 
bade me hope ; would he lie ? No. But did the 
old man know my case ? Ah, no, he did not know 
my case! hut yet he had hid me hope, whatever 
I had done, provided I would go to Jesus. But 
how could I think of going to Jesus, when the 
Scriptures told me plainly that all would he use* 
less? I was perplexed, and yet a ray of hope 
began to dawn in my soul. I thought of con- 
sulting the good man, but I was afraid he would 
drive away the small ghmmer. I was afraid he 
would say, * 0, yes, every one is to be saved, 
except a wretch like you ; I was not aware before 
that there was anything so horrible, — begone!' 
Once or twice the old man questioned me on the 
subject of my misery, but I evaded him ; once, in- 
deed, when he looked particularly benevolent, I 
think I should have unbosomed myself to him, 
but we were interrupted. He never pressed me 
much; perhaps he was delicate in probing my 
mind, as we were then of different persuasions. 
Hence he advised me to seek the advice of some 
powerful minister in my own church; there were 
many such in it, he said. 

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Ch. IX.] lUCKY HOUR. 127 

" I staid several days in the family, during which 
time I more than once heard my venerahle fiiend 
preach; each time he preached, he exhorted his 
hearers not to despair. The whole family were 
kind to me; his wife frequently discoursed with 
me, and also the young person to whom I have 
already alluded. It appeared to me that the latter 
took a peculiar interest in my fate. 

" At last my friend said to me, ' It is now time 
thou shouldest return to thy mother and thy bro- 
ther.* So I arose, and departed to my mother and 
my brother; and at my departure my old friend 
gave me his blessing, and his wife and the young 
person shed tears, the last especially. And when 
my mother saw me, she shed tears, and fell on my 
neck and kissed me, and my brother took me by 
the hand and bade me welcome ; and when our first 
emotions were subsided, my mother said, ' I trust 
thou art come in a lucky hour. A few weeks ago 
my cousin (whose favourite thou always wast) died 
and left thee his heir — left thee the goodly farm 
in which he lived. I trust, my son, that thou wilt 
now settle, and be a comfort to me in my old days.* 
And I answered, ' I will, if so please the Lord;* 

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and I said to myself, ^ God grant that this bequest 
be a token of the Lord s favour/ 

^' And in a few days I departed to take possession 
of my farm ; it was about twenty miles from my 
mother 8 house, in a beautiful but rather wild dis* 
trict; I arrived at the fall of the leaf. All day long 
I busied myself with my farm, and thus kept my 
mind employed. At night, however, I felt rather 
solitary, and I frequently wished for a companion. 
Each night and morning I prayed fervently unto 
the Lord ; for His hand had been very heavy upon 
me, and I feared Him. 

" There was one thing connected with my new 
abode, which gave me considerable uneasiness — ^the 
want of spiritual instruction. There was a church, 
indeed, close at hand^ in which service was occa- 
sionally performed, but in so hurried and heartless 
a manner that I derived little benefit from it. The 
clergyman to whom the benefice belonged was a 
valetudinarian, who passed his time in London, or 
at some watering-place, entrusting the care of his 
flock to the curate of a distant parish, who gave 
himself very little trouble about the matter. Now I 
wanted every Sunday to hear from the pulpit words 

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of consolation and encouragement^ rimilar to those 
which I had heard uttered from the pulpit by my 
good and venerable friend, but I was debarred from 
this privilege. At length, one day being in eon- 
yersation with one of my labourers, a staid and 
serious man, I spoke to him of the matter which 
lay heavy upon my mind; whereupon, looking me 
wistfully in the &ee, he said, ^ Master, the want of 
rehgious instruction in my church was what drove 
me to the Methodists.' ' The Methodists,' said I, 
' are there auy in these parts?* ' There is aohapel,' 
said he, * only half a mile distant, at which there 
are two services every Sunday, and other two during 
the week.' Now it happened that my venerable friend 
was of the Methodist persuasion, and when I heard 
the poor man talk in this manner, I said to him, 
' May I go with you next Sunday ? ' ' Why not T said 
he ; so I went with the labourer on the ensuing 
Sabbath to the meeting of the Metiiodists. 

*' I liked the preaching which I heard at the 
chapel very well, though it was not quite bo com- 
fortable as that of my old friend, the preacher being 
in some respects a different kind of man. It, how- 
ever, did me good, and I went again, and continued 

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to do 80^ though I did not become a regular member 
of the body at that time. 

** I had now tlie benefit of religious instruction, 
and also to a certain extent of religious fellowship, 
for the preacher and various members of his flock 
frequently came to see me. They were honest plain 
men, not exactly of the description which I wished 
for, but still good sort of people, and I was glad to 
see them. Once on a time, when some of them 
were with me, one of them enquired whether I was 
fervent in prayer. 'Very fervent,* said I. *And 
do you read the Scriptures often ? ' said he. ' No,' 
said I. 'Why not?' said he. 'Because I am 
afraid to see there my own condemnation.' They 
looked at each other, and said nothing at the time. 
On leaving me, however, they all advised me to 
read the Scriptures with fervency and prayer. 

*' As I had told these honest people, I shrank from 
searching the Scriptures; the remembrance of the 
fatal passage was still too vivid in my mind to 
permit me. I did not wish to see my condemna* 
tion repeated, but I was very fervent in prayer, 
and dmost hoped that God would yet forgive me 
fcy virtue of the blood-shedding of the Lamb. 

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Time passed on, my affairs prospered, and I en« 
joyed a certain portion of tranquillity. Occa- 
sionally, when I bad nothing else to do, I renewed 
my studies. Many is the book I read, especially 
in my native language, for I was always fond of 
my native language, and proud of being a Welsh- 
man. Amongst the books I read were the odes of 
the great Ab Gwilym, whom thou, friend, hast 
never heard of; no, nor any of thy countrymen, 
for you are an ignorant race, you Saxons, at least 
with respect to all that relates to Wales and Welsh- 
men. I likewise read the book of Master Ellis 
Wyn. The latter work possessed a singular fasci- 
nation for me, on account of its wonderful delinea- 
tions of the torments of the nether world. 

" But man does not love to be alone ; indeed, the 
Scripture says that it is not good for man to be 
alone. I occupied my body with the pursuits of 
husbandry, and I improved my mind with the 
perusal of good and wise books; but, as I have 
already said, I frequently sighed for a companion 
with whom I could exchange ideas, and who could 
take an interest in my pursuits ; the want of such 
a one I more particularly felt in the long winter 

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eyenings. It was then that the image of the 
young person whom I had seen in the house of the 
preacher frequently rose up distinctly hefore my 
mind's eye, decked with quiet graces — hang not 
down your head, Winifred — and I thought that 
of all the women in the world I should wish her 
to he my partner, and then I considered whether 
it would he possible to obtain her. I am ready to 
acknowledge, friend, that it was both selfish and 
uricked in me to wish to fetter any human being to 
a lost creature like myself, conscious of having 
committed a crime for which the Scriptures told 
me there is no pardon. I had, indeed, a long 
struggle as to whether I should make the attempt 
or not — selfishness however prevailed. I will not 
detain your attention with relating all that oc- 
curred at this period — suflBce it to say that I 
made my suit and was successful; it is true that 
the old man, who was her guardian, hesitated, 
and asked several questions respecting my state 
of mind. I am afraid that I partly deceived him, 
perhaps he partly deceived himself; he was pleased 
that I had adopted his profession — ^we are aU weak 
creatures. With respect to the young person, she 

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did not ask many questions; and I soon found 
that I had won her heart. To be brief, I married her ; 
and here she is, the truest wife that ever man had, 
and the kindest. Kind I may well call her, seeing 
that she shrinks not from me, who so cruelly 
deceiyed her, in not telling her at first what I 
was. I married her, friend; and brought her 
home to my little possession, where we passed our 
time very agreeably. Our affairs prospered, our 
gamers were friU, and there was coin in our purse. 
I worked in the field ; Winifred busied herself with 
the dairy. At night I frequently read books to 
her, books of my own country, fiiend ; I likewise 
read to her songs of my own, holy songs and 
carols which she admired, and which yourself 
would perhaps admire, could you understand them ; 
but I repeat, you Saxons are an ignorant people 
with respect to us, and a perverse, inasmuch as you 
despise Welsh without understanding it. Every 
night I prayed fervently, and my wife admired my 
gift of prayer. 

" One night, after I had been reading to my wife 
a portion of Ellis Wyn, my wife said, * This is a 
wonderfri] book, and containing much true and 

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pleasant doctrine ; but how is it that you, who are 
BO fond of good books, and good things in general, 
never read the Bible ? You read me the book of 
Master Ellis Wyn, you read me sweet songs of 
your own composition, you edify me with your gift 
of prayer, but yet you never read the Bible/ And 
when I heard her mention the Bible I shook, for I 
thought of my own condemnation. However, I 
dearly loved my wife, and as she pressed me, I 
commenced on that very night reading the Bible. 
All went on smoothly for a long time ; for months 
and months I did not find the fatal passage, so 
that I almost thought that I had imagined it. My 
affairs prospered much the while, so that I was 
almost happy, — taking pleasure in everything 
around me, — in my wife, in my farm, my books 
and compositions, and the Welsh language; till 
one night, as I was reading the Bible, feeling par- 
ticularly comfortable, a thought having just come 
into my head that I would print some of my com- 
positions, and purchase a particular field of a neigh- 
bour — oh God — God ! I came to the fatal passage. 
*' Friend, fiiend, what shall I say ? I rushed 
out. My wife followed me, asking me what was 

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the matter. I could only answer with groans — for 
three days and three nights I did little else than 
groan. Oh, the kindness and solicitude of my 
wife! 'What is the matter, husband, dear hus- 
band ? ' she was continually saying. I became at 
last more calm. My wife still persisted in asking 
me the cause of my late paroxysm. It is hard to 
keep a secret from a wife, especially such a wife 
as mine, so I told my wife the tale, as we sat one 
night — ^it was a mid-winter night — over the dying 
brands of our hearth, after the family had retired 
to rest, her hand locked in mine, even as it is now. 

^' I thought she would have shrunk from me with 
horror; but she did not; her hand, it is true, 
trembled once or twice ; but that was all. At last 
she gave mine a gentle pressure ; and, looking up 
in my face, she said — what do you think my wife 
said, young man ? ** 

" It is impossible for me to guess," said I. 

" Let us go to rest, my love ; your fears are 
all groundless." 

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'' And so I still say," said Winifred, sobbing. 
"Let us retire to rest, dear husband; your fears 
are groundless. I had hoped long since that your 
affliction would have passed away, and I still hope 
that it eventually will ; so take heart, Peter, and let 
us retire to rest, for it is getting late.** 

*' Best!'* said Peter; *' there is no rest for the 
wicked ! " 

" We are all wicked,*' said Winifred ; " but you 
are afraid of a shadow. How often have I told you 
that the sin of your heart is not the sin against the 
Holy Ghost : the sin of your heart is its natural 
pride, of which you are scarcely aware, to keep 
down which God in His mercy permitted you to 

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be terrified mth the idea of having committed a sin 
which you never committed." 

" Then you will still maintain/* said Peter, 
'' that I never committed the sin against the Holy 

" I will," said Winifred ; " you never committed 
it. How should a child seven years old commit a 
sin Uke that?" 

" Have I not read my own condemnation ? " 
said Peter. " Did not the first words which I read 
in the Holy Scripture condemn me? 'He who 
committeth the sin against the Holy Ghost shall 
never enter into the kingdom of God.' " 

'* You never committed it," said Winifi:ed. 

*' But the words ! the words ! the words ! " said 

" The words are true words," said Winifred, 
sobbing; "but they were not meant for you, but 
for those who have broken their profession, who, 
having embraced the cross, have receded from their 

" And what sayst thou to the efiect which the 
words produced upon me ? " said Peter. " Did they 

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138 CHASTENING. [Cb. X. 

not cause me to run wild through Wales fot 
years, like Merddin Wyllt of yore ; thinkest thou 
that I opened the book at that particular passage 
by chance ? " 

" No," said WiniiBred, " not by chance ; it was 
the hand of God directed you, doubtless for some 
wise purpose. You had become satisfied with your- 
self. The Lord wished to rouse thee from thy state 
of carnal security, and therefore directed your eyes 
to that fearful passage." 

" Does the Lord then carry out his designs by 
means of guile ? " said Peter, with a groan. " Is 
not the Lord true ? Would the Lord impress upon 
me that I had committed a sin of which I am guilt- 
less ? Hush, Winifred ! hush ! thou knowest that 
I have committed the sin." 

" Thou hast not committed it," said Winifred, 
sobbing yet more violently. " Were they my last 
words, I would persist that thou hast not committed 
it, though, perhaps, thou wouldst, but for this 
chastening ; it was not to convince thee that thou 
hast committed the sin, but rather to prevent thee 
from committing it, that the Lord brought that 

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Oh. X.] GO FORTH. 188 

passage before thy eyes. He is not to blame, if 
thou art wilfully blind to the truth and wisdom of 
his ways." 

*^ I see thou wouldst comfort me/' said Peter, 
" as thou hast often before attempted to do. I 
would fain ask the young man his opinion." 

" I have not yet heard the whole of your history," 
said I. 

" My story is nearly told," said Peter ; " a few 
words will complete it. My wife endeavoured to 
console and reassure me, using the arguments which 
you have just heard her use, and many others, 
but in vain. Peace nor comfort came to my breast. 
I was rapidly falling into the depths of despair; 
when one day Winifred said to me, ' I see thou wilt 
be lost, if we remain here. One resource only re- 
mains. Thou must go forth, my husband, into the 
wide world, and to comfort thee I will go with thee/ 
' And what can I do in the wide world ? ' said I, 
despondingly. ' Much,' replied Winifred, ' if you 
will but exert yourself; much good canst thou do 
with the blessing of God.' Many things of the 
same kind she said to me ; and at last I arose from 
the earth to which Qod had smitten me, and dis- 

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140 LONDON BRIDGE. ~ [Ch. X. 

posed of my property in the best way I could, and 
went into the world. We did all the good we were 
able, visiting the sick, ministering to the sick, aiid 
praying with the sick. At last I became celebrated 
as the possessor of a great gift of prayer. And 
people urged me to preach, and Wini&ed urged 
me too, and at last I consented, and I preached. 
I — I — outcast Peter, became the preacher Peter 
Williams. I, the lost one, attempted to show 
others the right road. And in this way I have 
gone on for thirteen years, preaching and teaching, 
visiting the sick, and ministering to them, with 
Winifred by my side hearkening me on. Occa- 
sionally I am visited with fits of indescribable 
agony, generally on the night before the Sabbath ; 
for I then ask myself, how dare I, the outcast, at- 
tempt to preach the word of God ? Young man, 
my tale is told ; you seem in thought ! " 

*^ I am thinking of London Bridge," said I. 

" Of London Bridge ! " said Peter and his wife. 

" Yes," said I, " of London Bridge. I am in- 
debted for much wisdom to London Bridge ; it was 
there that I completed my studies. But to the point 
I was once reading on London Bridge a book 

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Oh. X.] BAME KTE8. 141 

which an ancient gentlewoman, who kept the bridge, 
was in the habit of lending me ; and there I fonnd 
written, 'Each one carries in his breast the recol- 
lection of some sin which presses heavy upon him. 
O ! if men conld but look into each other a hearts, 
what {slackness wonld they find there ! ' " 

" That's true," said Peter. "What is the name 
of the book?" 

'' ' The life of Blessed Mary Flanders.' " 

" Some popish saint, I suppose/ said Peter. 

" As much of a saint, I dare say," said I, *' as 
most popish ones; but you interrupted me. One 
part of your narrative brought the passage which 
I have quoted into my mind. You said that after 
you had committed this same sin of yours you were 
in the habit, at school, of looking upon your school- 
fellows with a kind of gloomy supmority, consider- 
ing yourself a lone monstrous being who had com^ 
mitted a sin far above the daring of any of them. 
Aie you sure that many others of yofir schoolfellows 
were not looking upon you and the others with 
much the same eyes with which you were looking 
upon them?" 

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" How !" said Peter, '' dost thou think that they 
had divined my secret ? '* 

" Not they," said I, " they were, I dare say, 
thinking too much of themselves and of their own 
concerns to have divined any secrets of yours. All 
I mean to say is, they had probahly secrets of their 
own, and who knows that the secret sin of more 
than one of them was not the very sin which caused 
you so much misery ? " 

" Dost thou then imagine," said Peter, " the sin 
against the Holy Ghost to be so common an oc- 
currence ? " 

*' As you have described it," said I, " of very 
common occurrence, especially amongst children, 
who are, indeed, the only beings likely to com- 
mit it." 

" Truly," said Winifred, " the young man talks 

Peter was silent for some moments, and appeared 
to be reflecting; at last, suddenly raising his head, 
he looked me full in the face, and, grasping my 
hand with vehemence, he said, *' Tell me, young 
man, only one thing, hast thou, too, committed the 
sin against the Holy Ghost ? " 

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Ch. X.] VERY SLEEPY. 148 

'' I am neither Papist, nor Methodist/' said I, 
^' but of the Churchy and^ being so, confess myself 
to no one, but keep my own counsel; I will tell thee, 
however, had I committed, at the same age, twenty 
such sins as that which you committed, I should 
feel no uneasiness at these years — but I am sleepy, 
and must go to r6st." 

" God bless thee, young man/' said Winifred. 

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Before I sank to rest I heard Winifred and her 
hushand conversing in the place where I had left 
them; hoth their voices were low and calm. I 
soon fell asleep, and slumbered for some time. On 
my awakening I again heard them conversing, hut 
they were now in their cart; still the voices of 
hoth were calm. I heard no passionate hursts of 
wild despair on the part of the man. Methought 
I occasionally heard the word Pechod proceeding 
from the lips of each, hut with no particular em- 
phasis. I supposed they were talking of the in- 
nate sin of hoth their hearts. 

" I wish that man were happy," said I to my- 
self, *' were it only for his wife's sake, and yet he 
deserves to he happy for bis own." 

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The next day Peter was very cheerfiil, more 
cheerfal than I had ever seen him. At breakfast 
his conversation was animated, and he smiled re- 
peatedly. I looked at him with the greatest in- 
terest, and the eyes of his wife were almost con- 
stantly fixed upon him. A shade of gloom would 
occasionally come over his countenance, hut it 
almost instantly disappeared ; perhaps it proceeded 
more from habit than anything else. After break- 
fast he took his Welsh Bible and sat down be- 
neath a tree. His eyes were soon fixed intently on 
the volume ; now and then he would call his wife, 
show her some passage, and appeared to consult 
with her. The day passed quickly and comfortably. 

" Your husband seems much bett^," said I, at 
evening fall, to Winifred, as we chanced to be 

" He does," said Winifred; "and that on the 
day of die week when he was wont to appear 
most melancholy, for to-morrow is the Sabbath. 
He now no longer looks forward to the Sabbath 
with dread, but appears to reckon on it. What a 
happy change! and to think that this change 
should have been produced by a few words, seem- 


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ingly careless ones, proceeding jfrom the mouth of 
one who is almost a stranger to him. Truly, it is 

" To whom do you allude," said I ; " and to 
what words?" 

" To yourself, and to the words which came 
from your lips last night, after you had heard my 
poor hushand's history. Those strange words, 
drawn out with so much seeming indiflference, have 
produced in my husband the blessed effect which 
you have observed. They have altered the current 
of his ideas. He no longer thinks himself the 
only being in the world doomed to destruction, — 
the only being capable of committing the never-to- 
be-forgiven sin. Your supposition that that which 
harrowed his soul is of frequent occurrence amongst 
children, has tranquillized him; the mist which 
hung over his mind has cleared away, and he 
begins to see the groundlessness of his appre- 
hensions. The Lord has permitted him to be 
chastened for a season, but his lamp will only bum 
the brighter for what he has undergone." 

Sunday came, fine and glorious as the last. 
Again my friends and myself breakfasted together 

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Ch. XI.] NO ANSWER. 147 

— again the good family of the house on the hill 
above, headed by the respectable master, descended 
to the meadow. Peter and his wife were ready 
to receive them. Again Peter placed himself at 
the side of the honest farmer, and Winifred by 
the side of her friend. "Wilt thou not come?" 
said Peter, looking towards me with a face in which 
there was much emotion. " Wilt thou not come?" 
said Winifred, with ti face beaming with kindness. 
But I made no answer, and presently the party 
moved away, in the same manner in which it had 
moved on the preceding Sabbath, and I was again 
left alone. 

The hours of the Sa:bbath passed slowly away. 
I sat gazing at the sky, the trees, and the water. 
At last I strolled up to the house and sat down in 
the porch. It was empty; there was no modest 
maiden there, as on the preceding Sabbath. The 
damsel of the book had accompanied the rest. I 
had seen her in the procession, and the house ap- 
peared quite deserted. The owners had probably 
left it to my custody, so I sat down in the porch, 
quite alone. The hours of the Sabbath passed 
heavily away. 

H 2 

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At last evening came, and with it the party of the 
morning. I was now at my place beneath the oak. 
I went, forward to meet them. Peter and his wife 
received me with a calm and quiet greeting, and 
passed forward. The rest of the party had broke 
into groups. There was a kind of excitement 
amongst them, and much eager whispering. I 
went to one of the groups ; the young girl of whom 
I have spoken more than once, was speaking : 
'* Such a sermon," said she, ** it has never been our 
lot to hear; Peter never before spoke as he has 
done this day — he was always a powerful preacher, 
but oh, the unction of the discourse of this 
morning, and yet more of that of the afternoon, 
which was the continuation of it!" " What was the 
subject?" said I, interrupting her. "Ah! you should 
have been there, young man, to have heard it; it 
would have made a lasting impression upon you. I 
was bathed in tears all the time ; those who heard 
it will never forget the preaching of the good Peter 
Williams on the Power, Providence, and Goodness 
of God." 

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On the morrow I said to my friends, " I am about 
to depart ; farewell 1 " " Depart ! " said Peter and 
his wife, simultaneously, "whither wouldst thou 
go ? " "I can't stay here all my days," I replied. 
" Of course not," said Peter ; " but we had no idea 
of losing thee so soon : we had almost hoped that 
tiou wouldst join us, become one of us. We are 
under infinite obligations to thee." " You mean I 
am under infinite obligations to you," said I. " Did 
you not save my life ? " *' Perhaps so, under God," 
said Peter; '^ and what hast thou not done for me ? 
Art thou aware that, under God, thou hast pre- 
served my soul from despair ? But, independent of 
that, we like thy company, and feel a deep interest 
in thee, and would fain teach thee the way that is 

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right. Hearken^ to-morrow we go into Wales ; go 
with us." " I have no wish to go into Wales," said 
I. "Why not?" said Peter, with animation. 
" Wales is a goodly country ; as the Scripture 
says — a land of brooks of water, of fountains and 
depths, that spring out of valleys and hills, a land 
whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills thou 
mayest dig lead,** 

" I dare say it is a very fine country," sdd I, 
" but I have no wish to go there just now ; my 
destiny seems to point in another direction, to say 
nothing of my trade." " Thou dost right to say 
nothing of thy trade," said Peter, smiling, "for 
thou seemest to care nothing about it ; which has 
led Winifred and myself to suspect that thou art 
not altogether what thou seemest; but, setting 
that aside, we should be most happy if thou 
wouldst go with us into Wales." " I cannot pro- 
mise to go with you into Wales," said I ; " but, as 
you depart to-morrow, I will stay with you through 
the day, and on the morrow accompany you part of 
the way." " Do," said Peter : " I have many 
people to see to-day, and so has Winifred ; but we 
will both endeavour to have some serious dis- 

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course with thee, which, perhaps, will turn to thy 
profit in the end." 

In the course of the day the good Peter came to 
me, as I was seated heneath the oak, and, placing 
himself hy me, commenced addressing me in the 
following manner : — 

" I have no douht, my young fiiend, that you 
are willing to admit, that the most important 
thing which a human heing possesses is his soul ; 
it is of infinitely more importance than the hody, 
which is a firail substance, and cannot last for many 
years ; but not so the soul, which, by its nature, is 
imperishable. To one of two mansions the soul is 
destined to depart, after its separation from the 
body, to heaven or hell; to the halls of eternal 
bUss, where God and his holy angels dwell, or to 
the place of endless misery, inhabited by Satan and 
his grisly companions. My friend, if the joys of 
heaven are great, unutterably great, so are the 
torments of hell unutterably so. I wish not to 
speak of them, I wish not to terrify your imagi- 
nation with the torments of hell : indeed, I like 
not to think of them ; but it is necessary to speak 
of them sometimes, and to think of them some- 
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152 Welshman's candle. [Ch. xn. 

times, lest you should sink into a state of carnal 
security. Authors, friend, and learned men, are not 
altogether agreed as to the particulars of hell. 
They all agree, however, in considering it a place 
of exceeding horror. Master Ellis Wyn, who hy 
the by was a churchman, calls it, amongst other 
things, a place of strong sighs, and of flaming 
sparks. Master Bees Pritehard, who was not only 
a churchman, but Vicar of Llandovery, and flou- 
rished about two hundred years ago — I wish many 
like him flourished now — speaking of hell, in his 
collection of sweet hymns, called the ' Welshman's 
Candle,' observes, 

" * The pool is continually blazing ; it is very 
deep, without any known bott(Hn, and the walls are 
so high, that there is neither hope nor possibility of 
escaping over them.' 

" But, as I told you just now, I have no great 
pleasure in talking of helL No, friend, no ; I 
would sooner talk of the other place, and of the 
goodness and hospitality of God amongst his 
saints above/" 

And then the excellent man began to dilate upon 
the joys of heaven, and the goodness and hospitality 

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of God in the mansions above ; explaining to me» 
in the clearest way, how I might get there. 

And when he had finished what he had to say, 
he left me, whereupon Winifred drew nigh, and 
sitting down by me, began to address me. ^' I do 
not think," said she, *' from what I have observed 
of thee, that thou wouldst wish to be ungratefril, 
and yet, is not thy whole life a series of ingrati- 
tude, and to whom ? — to thy Maker. Has he not 
endowed thee with a goodly and healthy form ; and 
senses which enable thee to enjoy the delights of 
his beautiful universe — the work of his hands? 
Canst thou not enjoy, even to rapture, the 
brightness of the sun, the perfrime of the meads, 
and the song of the dear birds, which inhabit 
among the trees? Yes, thou canst; for I have 
seen theo, and observed thee doing so. Yet, during 
the whole time that I have known thee, I have not 
heard proceed from thy lips one single word of 
predse or thanksgiving to " 

And in this manner the admirable woman pro- 
ceeded for a considerable time, and to all her 
discourse I listened with attention ; and when she 

H 3 

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had concluded, I took her hand and said, " I thank 
you," and that was all. 

On the next day everything was ready for 
our departure. The good family of the house 
came to bid us farewell. There were shaking 
of hands, and kisses, as on the night of our ar- 

And as I stood somewhat apart, the young 
girl of whom I have spoken so often, came up to 
me, and holding out her hand, said, ''Farewell, 
young man, wherever thou goest." Then, after 
looking around her, she said, " It was all true you 
told me. Yesterday I received a letter from him 
thou wottest of, he is coming soon, God bless you, 
young man ; who would have thought thou knewest 
so much ! " 

So, after we had taken our farewell of the good 
family, we departed, proceeding in the direction of 
Wales. Peter was very cheerfiil, and enlivened the 
way with godly discourse and spiritual hymns, 
some of which were in the Welsh language. At 
length I said, "It is a pity that you did not con- 
tinue in the church ; you have a turn for Psalmody, 

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and I have heard of a man hecoming a hishop by 
means of a less qualification/' 

" Very probably/' said Peter ; " more the pity. 
But I have told you the reason of my forsaking it. 
Frequently, when I went to the church door, I 
found it barred, and the priest absent ; what was I 
to do ? My heart was bursting for want of some 
religious help and comfort ; what could I do ? as 
good Master Eees Pritchard observes in his ' Candle 
for Welshmen,' 

" 'It is a doleful thing to see little children burning 
on the hot coals for want of help ; but yet more 
doleful to see a flock of souls falling into the burn- 
ing lake for want of a priest/ " 

"The Church of England is a fine church," 
said I; "I would not advise any one to speak ill 
of the Church of England before me/* 

" I have nothing to say against the church," 
said Peter ; all I wish is that it would fling itself 
a little more open, and that its priests would a 
little more bestir themselves ; in a word, that it 
would shoulder the cross and become a missionary 

" It is too proud for that," sdd Winiired. 

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" You are much more of a Methodist/' said I, 
"than your hushand. But tell me," said I, ad- 
dressing myaelf to Peter, ''do you not differ from 
the church in some points of doctrine? I, of course, 
as a true member of the church, am quite igno- 
rant of the peculiar opinions of wandering sec- 
taries ? ** 

" Oh, the pride of that church ! " said Winifred, 
half to herself; " wandering sectaries! " 

" We differ in no points of doctrine," said Peter; 
" we believe all the church believes, though we are 
not so fond of vain and superfluous ceremonies, 
snow-white neckcloths and surplices, as the church 
is. We likewise think that there is no harm in a 
sermon by the road-side, or in holding free dis- 
course with a beggar beneath a hedge, or a tinker," 
he added, smiling ; " it was those superfluous cere- 
monies, those surpUces and white neckcloths, and, 
above all, the necessity of strictly regulating his 
words and conversation, which drove John Wesley 
out of the church, and sent him wandering up and 
down as you see me, poor Welsh Peter, do." 

Nothing farther passed for some time ; we were 
now drawing near the hills : at last I s£dd, " You 

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must haye met with a great many strange adven- 
tures since you took up this course of life ? " 

" Many," said Peter, "it has been my lot to 
meet with ; but none more strange than one which 
occurred to me only a few weeks ago. You were ask- 
ing me, not long since, whether I beUeved in devils? 
Ay, truly young man ; and I beUeve that the abyss 
and the yet deeper unknown do not contain them 
all; some walk about upon the green earth. So 
it happened, some weeks ago, that I was exercising 
my ministry about forty miles from here. I was 
alone, Winifred being slightly indisposed, staying 
for a few days at the house of an acquaintance ; I 
had finished afternoon's worship — the people had 
dispersed, and I was sitting solitary by my cart 
under some green trees in a quiet retired place; 
suddenly a voice said to me, 'Good evening, 
Pastor ;' I looked up, and before me stood a man, 
at least the appearance of a man, dressed in a black 
suit of rather a singular fashion. He was about 
my own age, or somewhat older. As I looked 
upon him, it appeared to me that I had seen him 
twice before whilst preaching. I replied to his 
salutation, and perceiving that he looked some- 

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what fatigued, I took out a stool from the cart, 
and asked him to sit down. We began to dis- 
course ; I at first supposed that he might be one 
of ourselves, some wandering minister; but I was 
soon undeceived. Neither his language nor his 
ideas were those of any one of our body. He 
spoke on all kinds of matters with much fluency ; 
till at last he mentioned my preaching, compU- 
menting me on my powers. I replied, as well T 
might, that I could claim no merit of my own, and 
that if I spoke with any effect, it was only by the 
grace of God. As I uttered these last words, a 
horrible kind of sneer came over his countenance, 
which made me shudder, for there was something 
diabolical in it. I said little more, but listened 
attentively to his discourse. At last he said that 
I was engaged in a paltry cause, quite unworthy 
of one of my powers. ' How can that be,' said I, 
* even if I possessed all the powers in the world, 
seeing that I am engaged in the cause of our Lord 
Jesus T 

^' The same kind of sneer agaro came on his 
countenance, but he almost instantly observed, that 
if I chose to forsake this same miserable cause, 

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from which nothing but contempt and privation 
was to be expected^ he would enlist me into another^ 
from which I might expect both profit and renown. 
An idea now came into my head^ and I told him 
firmly, that if he wished me to forsake my present 
profession and become a member of the Church of 
England, I must absolutely decline; that I had no 
ill- win against that church, but I thought I could 
do most good in my present position, which I 
would not forsake to be Archbishop of Canterbury. 
Thereupon he burst into a strange laughter, and 
went away, repeating to himself, * Church of Eng- 
land! Archbishop of Canterbury!' A few days 
after, when I was once more in a solitary place, he 
again appeared before me, and asked me whether I 
had thought over his words, and whether I was 
willing to enlist under the banners of his master, 
adding, that he was eager to secure me, as he con- 
ceived that I might be highly useful to the cause. 
I then asked him who his master was ; he hesitated 
for a moment, and then answered, 'The Boman 
Pontifi'. * ' If it be he,* said I, ' I can have 
nothing to do with him, I will serve no one who is 
an enemy of Christ.* Thereupon he drew near to 

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me, and told me not to talk so much like a sim< 
pleton ; that as for Christ, it was probable that no 
such person ever existed, but that if he ever did, 
he was the greatest impostor tl^e world ever saw. 
How long he continued in this way I know not, 
for I now considered that an evil spirit was before 
me, and shrank within myself, shivering in every 
limb; when I recovered myself and looked about 
me, he was gone. Two days after, he again stood 
before me, in the same place, and about the same 
hour, renewing his propositions, and speaking more 
horribly than before. I made him no answer; 
whereupon he continued; but suddenly hearing a 
noise behind him, he looked round and beheld 
Winifred, who had returned to me on the morning 
of that day. 'Who are you?* said he, fiercely. 
' This man's wife,' said she, calmly fixing her eyes 
upon him. * Begone from him, unhappy one, thou 
temptest him in vain.' He made no answer, but 
stood as if transfixed : at length recovering himself, 
he departed, muttering 'Wife! wife! If the fool has 
a wife, he will never do for us.* " 

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We were now drawing very near the hills, and 
Peter said, "If you are to go into Wales, you 
must presently decide, for we are close upon the 

" Which is the border ? " said I. 

"Yon small brook," said Peter, "into which the 
man on horseback, who is coming towards us, is 
now entering." 

" I see it," said I, " and the man ; he stops in 
the middle of it, as if to water his steed." 

We proceeded till we had nearly reached the 
brook. "Well," said Peter, "will you go into 
Wales ?" 

" What should I do in Wales ? " I demanded. 

" Do ! " said Peter, smiling, " learn Welsh." 

I stopped my little pony. " Then I need not go 
into Wales ; I already know Welsh/' 

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" Know Welsh ! " said Peter, staring at me. 

" Know Welsh ! " said Winifred, stopping her 

'^ How and when did you learn it ? " said 

" From hooks, in my boyhood." 

'' Eead Welsh !" said Peter ; " is it possible ? " 

" Eead Welsh ! " said Winifred ; '' is it possible ? " 

*^Well, I hope you will come with us," said 

"Come with us, young man," said Winifred; 
" let me, on the other side of the brook, welcome 
you into Wales." 

"Thaok you both," said I, "but I will not 

" Wherefore ? " exclaimed both, simultaneously. 

" Because it is neither fit nor proper that I cross 
into Wales at this time, and in this manner. When 
I go into Wales, I should wish to go in a new suit 
of superfine black, with hat and beaver, mounted 
on a powerful steed, black and glossy, hke that 
which bore Greduv to the fight of Catraeth. I 
should wish, moreover^ to see the Welshmen 
assembled on the border ready to welcome me 

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cilXIII.] pipe and fiddle. 163 

with pipe and fiddle, and much whooping and 
shouting, and to attend me to Wrexham, or eyen 
as far as Machynllaith, where I should wish to be 
invited to a dinner at which all the bards should be 
present, and to be seated at the right hand of the 
president, who, when the cloth was removed, should 
arise, and, amidst cries of silence, exclaim — 
'Brethren and Welshmen, allow me to propose the 
health of my most respectable friend the translator 
of the odes of the great Ab Gwilym, the pride and 
glory of Wales/" 

"•How!" said Peter, "hast thou translated the 
works of the mighty Dafydd ? " 

"With notes critical, historical, and expla- 

" Come with us, friend," said Peter. " I cannot 
promise such a dinner as thou wishest, but neither 
pipe nor fiddle shall be wanting." 

" Come with us, young man," said Winifred, 
"even as thou art, and the daughters of Wales 
shall bid thee welcome." 

"I will not go with you," said I. "Dost thou 
see that man in the ford?" 

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'* Who is staring at us so, and whose horse has 
not yet done drinking ? Of course I see him." 

" I shall turn hack with him. God hless you." 

" Gro hack with him not," said Peter; " he is one 
of those whom I like not, one of the clihherty- 
clahher, as Master Ellis Wyn ohserves — turn not 
with that man." 

" Go not hack with him," said Winifred. " If 
thou goest with that man, thou wilt soon forget 
all our profitable counsels ; come with us." 

" I cannot ; I have much to say to him. Kosko 
Diwus, Mr. Petulengro." 

*' Kosko Diwus, Pal," said Mr. Petulengro, riding 
through the water ; *' are you turning hack ? " 

I turned hack with Mr. Petulengro. 

Peter came running after me: "One moment, 
young man, — who and what are you ?" 

'' I must answer in the words of Taliesin," said 
I; "none can say with positiveness whether I he 
fish or flesh, least of all myself. God hless you 

"Take this," said Peter, and he thrust his 
Welsh Bible into my hand. 

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So I turned back with Mr. Petulengro. We tra- 
velled for some time in silence ; at last we fell into 
discourse. " You have been in Wales, Mr. Petu- 

" Ay, truly, brother." 

" What have you been doing there ? " 

" Assisting at a funeral." 

*' At whose funeral ? " 

" Mrs. Heame's, brother." 

"Is she dead, then?" 

" As a nail, brother." 

•' How did she die?" 

" By hanging, brother." 

" I am lost in astonishment," said I ; whereupon 
Mr. Petulengro, lifting his sinister leg over the 
neck of his steed, and adjusting himself sideways 

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166 TWO DAYS AGO. [Ch. XIV. 

in the saddle, replied, with great deliberation, 
"Two days ago, I happened to be at a fair not 
very far from here ; I was all alone by myself, for 
our party were upwards of forty miles oflp, when 
who should come up but a chap that \ knew, a 
relation, or rather, a connection of mine — one of 
those Heames. ' Ar n't you going to the funeral ? ' 
said he; and then, brother, there passed between 
him and me, in the way of questioning and answer- 
ing, much the same as has just now passed between 
I and you; but when he mentioned hanging, I 
thought 1 could do no less than ask who hanged 
her, which you forgot to do. ' Who hanged her ? ' said 
I ; and then the man told me that she had done it 
herself; been her own hinjiri; and then I thought 
to myself what a sin and shame it would be if I did 
not go to the funeral, seeing that she was my own 
mother-in-law. I would have brought my wife, and, 
indeed, the whole of our party, but there was no 
time for that ; they were too far oflP, and the dead 
was to be buried early the next morning; so I went 
with the man, and he led me into Wales, where his 
party had lately retired, and when there, through 
many wild and desolate places to their encamp- 

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ment^ and there I found the Heames^ and the dead 
body — the last laid out on a mattress, in a tent, 
dressed BomaneskoensBS in a red cloak,. and big 
bonnet of black beaver. I must say for the Heames 
that they took the matter very coolly; some were 
eating, others drinking, and some were talking 
about their small affairs ; there was one, however, 
who did not take the matter so coolly, but took on 
enough for the whole family, sitting beside the dead 
woman, teanng her hair, and refusing to take either 
meat or drink; it was the child Leonora. I ar- 
rived at night-fall, and the burying was not to take 
place till the morning, which I was rather sorry for, 
as I am not very fond of them Hearnes, who are 
not very fond of anybody. They never asked me 
to eat or drink, notwithstanding I had married into 
the family; one of them, however, came up and 
offered to fight me for five shillings; had it not 
been for them I should have come back as empty as 
I went — he didn't stand up five minutes. Brother, 
I passed the night as well as I could, beneath a 
tree, for the tents were full, and not over clean; 
I slept little, and had my eyes about me, for I 
knew the kind of people I was among. 

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" Early in the morning the funeral took place. 
The body was placed not in a coffin but on a bier, 
and carried not to a churchyard but to a deep dell 
close by; and there it was buried beneath a rock, 
dressed just as 1 have told you ; and this was done 
by the bidding of Leonora, who had heard her bebee 
say that she wished to be buried, not in gorgeous 
fashion, but like a Boman woman of the old blood, 
the kosko puro rati, brother. When it was over, 
and we had got back to the encampment, I prepared 
to be going. Before mounting my gry, however, 
I bethought me to ask what could have induced 
the dead woman to make away with herself — a thing 
so uncommon amongst Bomanies ; whereupon one 
squinted with his eyes, a second spirted saliver into 
the air, and a third said that he neither knew nor 
cared ; she was a good riddance, having more than 
once been nearly the ruin of them all, from the 
quantity of brimstone she carried about her. One, 
however, I suppose rather ashamed of the way in 
which they had treated me, said at last, that if I 
wanted to know all about the matter, none could tell 
me better than the child, who was in all her secrets, 
and was not a little like her ; so I looked about for 

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the child, but could find her nowhere. At last the 
same man told me that he shouldn't wonder if I 
found her at the grave ; so I went back to the graye, 
and sure enough there I found the child Leonora, 
seated on the ground above the body, crying and 
taking on ; so I spoke kindly to her, and said, ' How 
came all this, Leonora? tell me all about it.' It 
was a long time before I could get any answer; 
at last she opened her mouth and spoke, and these 
were the words she said, ^ It was all along of your 
Pal;' and then she told me all about ihe matter — 
how Mrs. Heame could not abide you, which I 
knew before; and that she had sworn your destruc- 
tion, which I did 'not know before. And then 
she told me. how she found you living in the wood 
by yourself, and how you were enticed to eat a 
poisoned cake ; and she told me many other things 
that you wot of, and she told me what perhaps 
you don't wot, namely, that finding you had been 
removed, she, the child, had tracked you a long 
way, and found you at last well and hearty, and 
no ways affected by the poison, and heard you, 
as she stood concealed, disputing about religion 
with a Welsh Methody. Well, brother, she 
VOL. in. I 

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told me all this; and, moreover, that when Mrs. 
Heame. heard of it, she said that a dream of hers 
had come to pass. I don't know what it was, 
hut something ahout herself, a tinker, and a dean ; 
and then she added, that it was aU up with her, and 
that she must take a long journey. Well, hrother, 
that same night Leonora, waking from her sleep in 
the tent where Mrs. Heame and she were wont to 
sleep, missed her bebee, and, becoming alarmed, 
went in search of her, and at last found her hang- 
ing from a branch ; and when the child had got so 
far, she took on violently, and I could not get an- 
other word from her ; so I left her, and here I am." 

" And I am glad to see you, Mr. Petulengro ; 
but this is sad news which you tell me. about Mrs. 

" Somewhat dreary, brother ; yet, perhaps, after 
all, it is a good thing that she is removed; she 
carried so much DeviFs tinder about with her, as 
the man said." 

" I am sorry for her," said I ; " more especially 
as T am the cause of her death — though the in- 
nocent one." 

" She could not bide you, brother, that's cer- 

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tain ; but that is no reason" — said Mr. Petulengro, 
balancing himself npon the saddle — " that is no 
reason why she should prepare drow to take away 
your essence of life; and, when disappointed, to 
hang herself upon a tree : if she was dissatisfied 
with you, she might have flown at you, and 
scratched your face; or, if she did not judge her- 
self your match, she might have put down five 
shillings for a turn up between you and some one 
she thought could beat you — myself, for example, 
and so the matter might have ended comfortably ; 
but she was always too fond of oovert ways, drows, 
and brimstones. This is not the first poisoning 
affair she has been engaged in." 

" You allude to drabbing bawlor." 

" Bah ! " said Mr. Petulengro ; " there *s no harm 
in that. No, no ! she has cast drows in her time 
for other guess things than bawlor ; both Gorgios 
and Bomans have tasted of them, and died. Did 
you never hear of the poisoned plum pudding ? " 


"Then I will tell you about it. It happened 
about six years ago, a few months after she had 
quitted us — she had gone first amongst her own 

I 2 

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people, as she called them ; but there was another 
small party of Bomans, with whom she soon be- 
came very intimate. It so happened that this 
small party got into trouble ; whether it was about 
a horse or an ass^ or passing bad money^ no 
matter to you and me, who had no hand in the 
business ; three or four of them were taken and 
lodged in .... Gasde, and amongst them was 
a woman ; but the sherengro, or principal man of 
the party, and who it seems had most hand in the 
affair, was still at large. AU of a sudden a rumour 
was spread abroad that the woman was about to 
play false, and to peach the rest. Said the prin- 
cipal man, when he heard it, *If she does, I am 
nashkado.' Mrs. Heame was then on a visit to 
the party, and when she heard the principal man 
take on so, she said, *But I suppose you know 
what to do?' * I do not,' said he. ' Then hir mi 
devlis,* said she, *you are a fool. But leave the 
matter to me, I know how to dispose of her in 
Roman fashion.' Why she wanted to interfere in 
the matter, brother, I don't know, unless it was 
ftom pure brimstoneness of disposition — she had no 
hand in the matter which had brought the party 

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into trouble — she was only on a visit, and it had 
happened before she came; but she was always 
ready to give dangerous advice. Well, brother, 
the principal man listened to what she had to say, 
and let her do what she would ; and she made a 
pudding, a very nice one, no doubt — for, besides 
plums, she put in drows and all the Boman con- 
diments that she knew of; and she gave it to 
the principal man, and the principal put it into a 
basket and directed it to the woman in ... . Cas- 
tle, and the woman in the castle took it and . . . /' 
•' Ate of it," said I; "just like my case ! " 
" Quite different, brother ; she took it, it is true, 
but instead of giving way to her appetite, as you 
might have done, she put it before the rest whom 
she was going to impeach; perhaps she wished to 
see how they liked it before she tasted it herself; 
and all the rest were poisoned, and one died, and 
there was a precious outcry, and the woman cried 
loudest of all ; and she said, * It was my death was 
sought for; I know the man, and 1*11 be revenged.' 
And then the Foknees spoke to her and said, 
* Where can we find him ? ' and she said, ' I am 
awake to his motions ; three weeks £rom hence, the 

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night before the ftdl moon, at such and such an 
hour, he will pass down such a lane with such a 

"Well/' said I, '' and what did the Poknees do ? " 
"Do, brother! sent for a'plastramengro from Bow 
Street, quite secretly, and told him what the woman 
had said ; and the night before the full moon, the 
plastramengro went to the place which the juwa had 
pointed out, all alone, brother ; and in order that 
he might not be too late, he went two hours before 
his time. I know the place well, brother, where the 
plastramengro placed himself behind a thick holly 
tree, at the end of a lane, \diere a gate leads into 
various fields, through which there is a path for 
carts and horses. The lane is called the dark lane 
by the Gorgios, being much shaded by trees. So 
the plastramengro placed himself in the dark lane 
behind the holly tree ; it was a cold February night, 
dreary though; the wind blew in gusts, and the moon 
had not yet risen, and the plastramengro waited 
behind the tree till he was tired, and thought he 
might as well sit down ; so he sat down, and was 
not long in falling to sleep, and there he slept for 
some hours; and when he awoke the moon had 

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risen^ and was shining bright, so that there was a 
kind of moonlight even in the dark lane ; and the 
plastramengro pulled out his watch, and contrived to 
make out that it was just two hours beyond the 
time when the men should have passed by. Brother, 
I do not know what the plastramengro thought of 
himself, but I know, brother, what I should have 
thought of myself in his situation. I should have 
thought, brother, that I was a drowsy scoppelo, 
and that I had let the fellow pass by whilst I was 
sleeping behind a bush. As it turned out, how- 
ever, his going to sleep did no harm, but quite the 
contrary : just as he was going away, he heard a 
gate slam in the direction of the fields, and then he 
heard the low stumping of horses, as if on soft 
ground, for the path in those fields is generally soft, 
and at that time it had been lately ploughed up. 
Well, brother, presently he saw two men on horse- 
back coming towards the lane through the field be- 
hind the gate ; the man who rode foremost was a 
tall big fellow, the very man he was in quest of; 
the other was a smaller chap, not so small either, 
but a light, wiry fellow, and a proper master of his 
hands when he sees occasion for using them. 

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Well, brother, the foremost man came to the gate, 
reached at the hank, undid it, and rode through, 
holding it open for the other. Before,, however, the 
other could follow into the lane, out bolted the 
plastramengro from behind the tree, kicked the gate 
to with his foot, and, seizing the big man on horse- 
back, *You are my prisoner,' said he. I am of 
opinion, brother, that the plastramengro, notwith- 
standing he went to sleep, must have been a regular 
fine fellow." 

" I am entirely of your opinion," said I, " but 
what happened then ? " 

" Why, brother, the Bommany chal, after he had 
somewhat recovered from his surprise, for it is 
rather uncomfortable to be laid hold of at night- 
time, and told you are a prisoner; more especially 
when you happen to have two or three things on 
your mind which, if proved against you, would 
carry you to the nashky. The Bommany chal, 
I say, clubbed his whip, and aimed a blow at 
the plastramengro, which, if it had hit him on the 
skull, as was intended, would very likely have 
cracked it. The plastramengro, however, received 
it partly on his staff, so that it did him no particular 

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damage. Whereupon, seeing what kind of cus- 
tomer he had to deal with, he dropped his staff and 
seized the chal with both his hands, who forthwith 
spurred his horse, hoping, by doing so, either to 
break away from him, or fling him down ; but it 
would not do — the plastramengro held on like a bull* 
dog, so that the Bommany chal, to escape being 
hauled to the ground, suddenly flung himself off the 
saddle, and then happened in that lane, close by the 
gate, such a struggle between those two — the chal 
and the runner— as I suppose will never happen 
again. But you must have heard of it ; every one 
has heard of it ; every one has heard of the fight 
between the Bow Street engro and the Bommany 

" I never heard of it till now." 

'* All England rung of it, brother. There never 
was a better match than between those two. The 
runner was somewhat the stronger of the two — all 
these engroes are strong fellows — and a great deal 
cooler, for all of that sort are wondrous cool people 
— he had, however, to do with one who knew full 
well how to take his own part. The chal fought 
the engro brother in the old Boman fashion. He 

I 8 

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bit^ he kicked, and screamed like a wild cat of 
Benygant ; casting foam from his mouth, and fire 
from his eyes. Sometimes he was beneath the 
engro's legs, and sometunes he was npon his 
shoulders. What the engro found the most diffi- 
cult, was to get a firm hold of the chal, for no 
sooner did he seize the chal by any part of his 
wearing apparel, than the chal either tore himself 
away, or contrived to slip out of it ; so that in a 
little time the chad was three parts naked ; and as 
for holding him by the body, it was out of the 
question, for he was as slippery as an eel. At 
last the engro seized the chal by the Belchers 
handkerchief, which he wore in a knot round his 
neck, and do whatever the chal could, he could not 
free himself ; and when the engro saw that, it gave 
him fresh heart, no doubt : ' It 's of no use,' said he ; 
' you had better give in ; hold out your hands for the 
darbies, or I will throttle you.' " 

" And what did the other fellow do, who came 
with the chal ? " said I. 

" I sat still on my horse, brother." 

" You 1" said I. " Were you the man ? " 

" I was he, brother.** 

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Ch. XIV.] FAIR PLAY. 179 

"And why did you not help your comrade ?" 
" I have fought in the ring, brother." 
"And what had fighting in the ring to do with 
fighting in the lane ? " 

" You mean not fighting. A great deal, brother ; 
it taught me to prize fair play. When I fought 
Staffordshire Dick, t'other side of London, I was 
alone, brother. Not a Bommany chal to back me, 
and he had all his brother pals about him; but 
they gave me fair play, brother ; and I beat Staf- 
fordshire Dick, which I couldn't have done had 
they put one finger on his side the scale ; for he 
was as good a man as myself, or nearly so. Now, 
brother, had I but bent a finger in favour of the 
Bommany chal, the plastramengro would never have 
come aUve out of the lane; but I did not, for I 
thought to myself fair play is a precious stone; 
so you see, brother — " 

" That you are quite right, Mr. Petulengro, I see 
that clearly; and now, pray proceed with your 
narration ; it is both moral and entertaining." 

But Mr. Petulengro did not proceed with his 
narration, neither did he proceed upon his way; 
he had stopped his horse, and his eyes were intently 

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fixed on a broad strip of grass beneath some lofty 
trees, on the left side of the road. It was a plea- 
sant enough spot, and seemed to invite wayfaring 
people, such as we were, to rest from the fatigues of 
the road, and the heat and vehemence of the sun. 
After examining it for a considerable time, Mr. 
Petulengro said, "I say, brother, that would be a 
nice place for a tussle ! " 

" I dare say it would," said I, " if two people 
were inclined to fight." 

" The ground is smooth," said Mr. Petulengro ; 
" without holes or ruts, and the trees cast much 
shade. I don't think, brother, that we could find a 
better place," said Mr. Petulengro, springing from 
his horse. 

'* But you and I don't want to fight !" 
" Speak for yourself, brother," said Mr. Petulengro. 
" However, I will tell you how the matter stands. 
There is a point at present between us. There can 
be no doubt that you are the cause of Mrs. Heame's 
death, innocently, you will say, but still the cause. 
Now, I shouldn't like it to be known that I went up 
and down the country with a pal who was the cause 
of my mother-in-law's death, that 's to say, unless he 

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Ch. XIV.] NO GLOVES. 181 

gave me satisfaction. Now, if I and my pal have a 
tussle, he gives me satisfaction ; and, if he knocks 
my eyes out, which I know you can't do, it makes 
no difference at all, he gives me satisfaction; and he 
who says to the contrary, knows nothing of gypsy 
law, and is a dinelo into the bargain." 

" But we have no gloves ! " 

" Gloves!" said Mr. Petulengro, contemptuously, 
" gloves ! I tell you what, brother, I always thought 
you were a better hand at the gloves than the naked 
fist; and, to tell you the truth, besides taking satis- 
faction for Mrs. Heame's death, I wish to see what 
you can do with your mawleys ; so now is your time, 
brother, and this is your place, grass and shade, 
no ruts or holes ; come on, brother, or I shall think 
you what I should not like to call you." 

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And when I heard Mr. Petulengro talk in this 
manner, which I had never heard him do hefore, 
and which I can only account for by his being 
fasting and ill-tempered, I had of course no other 
alternative than to accept his challenge; so I put 
myself into a posture which I deemed the best both 
for offence and defence, and the tussle commenced ; 
and when it had endured for about half an hour, 
Mr. Petulengro said, " Brother, there is much blood 
on your face; you had better wipe it off;" and when 
I had wiped it off, and again resumed my former 
attitude, Mr. Petulengro said, " I think enough has 
been done, brother, in the affair of the old woman ; 
I have, moreover, tried what you are able to do, 
and find you, as I thought, less apt with the naked 

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Ch. XV.] I'm satisfied. 188 

mawleys than the stuffed gloves ; nay, brother, put 
your hands down, I 'm satisfied ; blood has been 
shed, which is all that can be reasonably expected 
for an old woman who carried so much brimstone 
about her as Mrs. Heame." 

So the struggle ended, and we resumed our route, 
Mr. Petulengro sitting sideways upon his horse as 
before, and I driving my Uttle* pony-cart, and when 
we had proceeded about three miles, we came to a 
small public house, which bore the sign of the 
Silent Woman, where we stopped to refresh our 
cattle and ourselves ; and as we sat over our bread 
and ale, it came to pass that Mr. Petulengro asked 
me various questions, and amongst others, how I 
intended to dispose of myself; I told him that I 
did not know ; whereupon, with considerable frank- 
ness, he invited me to his camp, and told me that if 
I chose to settle down amongst them, and become 
a Bommany chal, I should have his wife's sister 
Ursula, who was still unmarried, and occasionally 
talked of me. 

I declined his offer, assigning as a reason the 
recent death of Mrs. Heame, of which I was the 
cause, fdthough innocent. " A pretty life I should 

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lead with those two/' said I, " when they came to 
know it." ** Pooh/' said Mr. Petulengro, " they 
will never know it. I shan't blab, and as for Leo- 
nora, that girl has a head on her shoulders." "' Un- 
like the woman in the sign/' said I, " whose head 
is cut off. You speak nonsense, Mr. Petulengro ; 
as long as a woman has a head on her shoulders 
she '11 talk, — but, leaving women out of the case, it 
is impossible to keep anything a secret; an old 
master of mine told me so long ago. I have more- 
over another reason for declining your offer. I am 
at present not disposed for society. I am become 
fond of solitude. I wish I could find some quiet 
place to which I could retire to hold communion 
with my own thoughts, and practise, if I thought 
fit, either of my trades." "What trades?" said 
Mr. Petulengro. " Why, the one which I have 
lately been engaged in, or my origincd one, which I 
confess I should like better, that of a kaulomescro." 
" Ah, I have Jfrequently heard you talk of making 
horse-shoes," said Mr. Petulengro ; '' I, however, 
never saw you make one, and no one else that I 
am aware ; I don't believe — come brother, don't be 
angry, it's quite possible that you may have done 

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things which neither I nor any one else has seen 
you do« and that sach things may some day or 
other come to light, as you say nothing can be 
kept secret. Be that, however, as it may, pay the 
reckoning and let us be going, I think I can advise 
you to just such a kind of place as you seem to 

" And how do you know that I have got where- 
withal to pay the reckoning? " I demanded. " Bro- 
ther," saidMr. Petulengro, ''I wasjust now looking in 
your face, which exhibited the very look of a person 
conscious of the possession of property ; there was 
nothing hungry or sneaking in it. Pay the reckon- 
ing, brother." 

And when we were once more upon the road, Mr. 
Petulengro began to talk of the place which he 
^conceived would serve me as a retreat under 
present circumstances. " I tell you frankly, brother, 
that it is a queer kind of place, and I am not very 
fond of pitching my tent in it, it is so surprisingly 
dreary. It is a deep dingle in the midst of a large 
field, on an estate about which there has been a law- 
suit for some years past. I dare say you will be 
quiet enough, for the nearest town is five miles 

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distant^ and there are only a few huts and hedge 
puhlic-houses in the neighbourhood. Brother, I 
am fond of solitude myself, but not that kind of so- 
litude ; I like a quiet heath, where I can pitch my 
house, but I fdways like to have a gay stirring place 
not far off, where the women can pen dukkerin, and 
I myself can sell or buy a horse, if needfiil — such a 
place as the Chong Gav. I never feel so merry as 
when there, brother, or on the heath above it, where 
I taught you Eommany/' 

Shortly after this discourse we reached a milestone, 
and a few yards from the milestone, on the left hand, 
was a cross-road. Thereupon Mr. Petulengro said, 
" Brother, my path lies to the left ; if you choose 
to go with me to my camp, good; if not, Chal 
Devlehi." But I again refused Mr. Petulengro's 
invitation, and, shaking him by the hand, proceeded 
forward alone ; and about ten miles farther on I 
reached the town of which he had spoken, and, 
following certain directions which he had given, dis- 
covered, though not without some diflSculty, the 
dingle which he had mentioned. It was a deep hol- 
low in the midst of a wide field ; 'the shelving sides 
were overgrown with trees and bushes, a belt of sal-. 

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CIlXV.] winding path. 187 

lows surrounded it on the top^ a steep winding path 
led down into the depths^ practicable, however, for 
a light cart, like mine; at the bottom was an open 
space, and there I pitched my tent, and there I con- 
trived to put up my forge. " I will here ply the 
trade of kaulomescro,'* said I. 

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It has always struck me that there is something 
highly poetical about a forge. I am not singular in 
this opinion : various individuals have assured me 
that they can never pass by one, even in the midst 
of a crowded town, without experienciug sensations 
which they can scarcely define, but which are highly 
pleasurable. I have a decided penchant for forges, 
especially rural ones, placed iu some quaint quiet 
spot — a dingle, for example, which is a poetical 
place, or at a meeting of four roads, which is still 
more so ; for how many a superstition — and super- 
stition is the soul of poetry — ^is connected with these 
cross roads ! I love to light upon such a one, 
especially after nightfall, as everything about a 
forge tells to most advantage at night ; the hammer 

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Ch. XVI.] VOLUNDR. 189 

soands more solemnly in the stillness ; the gloinng 
particles scattered by the strokes sparkle with more 
effect in the darkness, whilst the sooty visage of the 
sastramescro, half in shadow, and half illumed by 
the red and partial blaze of the forge, looks more 
mysterious and strange. On such occasions I draw 
in my horse's rein, and, seated in the saddle, endea- 
vour to associate with the picture before me~^in 
itself a picture of romance — whatever of the wild and 
wonderful I have read of in books, or have seen 
with my own eyes in connection with forges. 

I believe the Ufe of any blacksmith, especially a 
rural one, would afford materials for a highly 
poetical history. I do not speak unadvisedly, having 
the honour to be free of the forge, and therefore 
fully competent to give an opinion as to what might 
be made out of the fojge by some dextrous hand. 
Certainly, the strangest and most entertaining life 
ever written is that of a blacksmith of the olden 
north, a certain Volundr, or Velint, who lived in 
woods and thickets, made keen swords — so keen, 
indeed, that if placed in a running stream, they 
would fairly divide an object, however slight, which 
was borne against them by the water, and who 

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eventually married a king's daughter, by whom he 
had a son, who was as bold a knight as his father 
was a cunning blacksmith. I never see a forge at 
night, when seated on the back of my horse, at the 
bottom of a dark lane, but I somehow or other 
associate it with the exploits of this extraordinary 
fellow, with many other extraordinary things, 
amongst which, as I have hinted before, are par- 
ticular passages of my own life, one or two of which 
I shall perhaps relate to the reader. 

I never associate Vulcan and his Cyclops with 
the idea of a forge. These gentry would be the 
very last people in the world to flit across my mind 
whilst gazing at the forge from the bottom of the 
dark lane. The truth is, they are highly unpoetical 
fellows, as well they may be, connected as they are 
with the Grecian mythology. At the very mention 
of their names the forge bums dull and dim, as if 
snow-balls had been suddenly flung into it ; the only 
remedy is to ply the bellows, an operation which I 
now hasten to perform. 

I am in the dingle making a horse-shoe. Having 
no other horses on whose hoofs I could exercise my 
art, I made my first essay on those of my own 

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horse, if that could be called horse which horse was 
none, being only a pony. Perhaps, if I had sought 
all England, I should scarcely have found an 
animal more in need of the kind offices of the 
smith. On three of his feet there were no shoes at 
all, and on the fourth only a remnant of one, on 
which account his hoofe were sadly broken and 
lacerated by his late journeys over the hard and 
flinty roads. " You belonged to a tinker before," 
said I, addressing the animal, '' but now you belong 
to a smith. It is said that the household of the 
shoemaker invariably go worse shod than that of 
any other craft. That may be the case of those 
who make shoes of leather, but it shan't be said of 
the household of him who makes shoes of iron ; at 
any rate it shan't be said of mine. I tell you what, 
u^y Sn> wliilst you continue with me, you shall 
both be better shod, and better fed, than you were 
with your last master." 

I am in the dingle making a petul ; and I must 
here observe, that whilst I am making a horse-shoe, 
the reader need not be surprised if I speak occa- 
sionally in the language of the lord of the horse- 
shoe — ^Mr. Petulengro. I have for some time past 

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been plying the peshota, or bellows, endeavouring 
to raise up the yag, or fire, in my primitive forge. 
The angar, or coals, are now burning fiercely, casting 
forth sparks and long vagescoe chipes, or tongues of 
flame ; a small bar of sastra, or iron, is lying in the 
fire, to the length of ten or twelve inches, and so 
£ar it is hot, very hot, exceeding hot, brother. And 
now you see me prala, snatch the bar of iron, 
and place the heated end of it upon the covantza, 
or anvil, and forthwith I commence cooring the 
sastra as hard as if I had been just engaged by a 
master at the rate of dui caulor, or two shil- 
lings, a day, brother ; and when I have beaten the 
iron till it is nearly cool, and my arm tired, I place 
it again in the angar, and begin again to rouse the 
file with the pudamengro, which signifies the blow- 
ing thing, and is another and more common word 
for bellows; and whilst thus employed I sing a 
gypsy song, the sound of which is wonderfully in 
unison with the hoarse moaning of the pudamengro, 
and ere the song is finished, the iron is again hot 
and malleable. Behold, I place it once more on the 
covantza, and recommence hammering ; and now I 
am somewhat at fault ; I am in want of assistance ; 

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I want you, brother, or . some one else, to take the 
bar out of my hand and support it upon the co- 
vantza, whilst I, applying a chinomescro, or kind of 
chisel, to the heated iron, cut off with a lusty stroke 
or two of the shukaro baro, or big hammer, as much 
as is required for the petul. But having no one 
to help me, I go on hammering till I have fairly 
knocked off ets much as I want, and then I place 
the piece in the fire, and again apply the bellows, 
and take up the song where I left it off; and when 
I have finished the song, I take out the iron, but 
this time with my plaistra, or pincers, and then I 
recommence hammering, turning the iron round 
and round with my pincers : and now I bend the 
iron and, lo and behold ! it has assumed some- 
thing of the outline of a petul. 

I am not going to enter into farther details with 
respect to the process — ^it was rather a wearisome 
one. I had to contend with various disadvantages ; 
my forge was a rude one, my tools might have been 
better ; I was in want of one or two highly neces- 
sary implements, but, above all, manual dexterity. 
Though free of the forge, I had not practised the 
albey tarian art for very many years, never since — but 

VOL. in. K 

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Stay, it is not my intention to tell the reader, at 
least in this place, how and when I became a 
blacksmith. There was one thing, however, which 
stood me in good stead in my labour, the same 
thing which through life has ever been of incalcu- 
lable utility to me, and has not unfrequently sup- 
plied the place of friends, money, and many other 
things of almost equal importance — iron perse- 
verance, without which all the advantages of time 
and circumstance are of very little avail in any un- 
dertaking. I was determined to make a horse-shoe, 
and a good one, in spite of every obstacle — ay, in 
spite of dukkerin. At the end of four days, during 
which I had fashioned and refashioned the thing at 
least fifty times, I had made a petul such as no 
master of the craft need have been ashamed of; with 
the second shoe I had less difficulty, and, by the 
time I had made the fourth, I would have scorned 
to take off my hat to the best smith in Cheshire. 

But I had not yet shod my little gry : this I 
proceeded now to do. After having first well pared 
the hoofs with my churi, I applied each petul hot, 
glowing hot, to the pindro. Oh, how the hoofs 
hissed ! and, oh, the pleasant pungent odour which 

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diflfused itself through the dingle ! — an odour good 
for an ailing spirit. 

I shod the little horse hravely — merely pricked 
him once, slightly, iivith a cafi, for doing which, I 
rememher, he kicked me down ; I was not discon- 
certed, however, but, getting up, promised to be 
more cautious in future; and haying finished the 
operation, I filed the hoof well with the rin baro, 
then dismissed him to graze amongst the trees, and, 
putting my smaller tools into the muchtar, I sat 
down on my stone, and, supporting my arm upon 
my knee, leaned my head upon my hand. Heavi- 
ness had Qpme over me. 

K 2 

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Heaviness had suddenly come over me, heaviness 
of heaxt, and of body also. I had accomplished 
the task which I had imposed upon myself, and 
now that nothing more remained to do, my energies 
suddenly deserted me, and I felt without- strength, 
and without hope. Several causes, perhaps, co-ope- 
rated to bring about the state in which I then felt 
myself. It is not improbable that my energies had 
been overstrained during the work the progress of 
which I have attempted to describe ; and every one 
is aware that the results of overstrained energies 
are feebleness and lassitude — ^want of nourishment 
might likewise have something to do with it. 
During my sojourn in the dingle, my food had been 
of the simplest and most unsatisfying description, 
by no means calculated to support the exertion 

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Ch. X'^II.] FROGS AND EFTE8. 197 

which the labour I had been engaged upon re- 
quired; it had consisted of coarse oaten cakes and 
hard cheese, and for beverage I had been indebted 
to a neighbouring pit, in which, in the heat of 
the day, 1 frequently saw, not golden or silver 
fish, but frogs and eftes swimming about. I am, 
however, inclined to believe that Mrs. Heame's cake 
had quite as much to do with the matter as insuffi- 
cient nourishment. I had never entirely recovered 
from the efiects of its poison, but had occasionally, 
especially at night, been visited by a grinding pain 
in the stomach, and my whole body had been 
suflfused with cold sweat ; and indeed these memo- 
rials of the drow have never entirely disappeared — 
even at the present time they display themselves in 
my system, especially after much fatigue of body 
and excitement of mind. So there I sat in the 
dingle upon my stone, nerveless and hopeless, 
by whatever cause or causes that state had been 
produced — there I sat with my head leaning upon 
my hand, and so I continued a long, long time. At 
last I lifted my head from my hand, and began to 
cast anxious, unquiet looks about the dingle — the 
entire hollow was now enveloped in deep shade — T 

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cast my eyes up ; there was a golden gleam on the 
tops of the trees which grew towards the upper 
parts of the dingle; but lower down, all was gloom 
and twilight — yet, when I first sat down on my 
stone, the sun was right above the dingle, illumi- 
nating all its depths by the rays which it cast per- 
pendicularly down — so I must have sat a long, long 
time upon my stone. And now, once more, I 
rested my head upon my hand, but almost instantly 
lifted it again in a kind of fear, and began looking 
at the objects before me — the forge, the tools, the 
branches of the trees, endeavouring to follow their 
rows, till they were lost in the darkness of the 
dingle ; and now I found my right hand grasping 
convulsively the three fore fingers of the left, first 
collectively, and then successively, wringing them 
till the joints cracked ; then I became quiet, but 
not for long. 

Suddenly I started up, and could scarcely re- 
press the shriek which was rising to my lips. 
Was it possible? Tes, all too certain; the evil 
one was upon me; the inscrutable horror which I 
had felt in my boyhood had once more taken pos- 
session of me. I had thought that it had forsaken 

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me— that it would never visit me again ; that I had 
outgrown it; thfU; I might ahnost bid defiance to it ; 
and I had even begun to think of it without horror, 
as we are in the habit of doing of horrors of which 
we conceive we run no danger ; and lo ! when least 
thought of, it had seized me again. Every moment. 
I felt it gathering force, and making me more wholly 
its own. What should I do 7 — resist, of course ; and 
I did resist. I grasped, I tore, and strove to fling 
it from me ; but of what avail were my efforts ? 
I could only have got rid of it by getting rid of 
myself: it was a part of myself, or rather it was all 
myselfl I rushed amongst the trees, and struck at 
them with my bare fists, and dashed my head against 
them^ but I felt no pain. How could I feel pain 
with that horror upon me ! And then I flung myself 
on the ground^ gnawed the earth, and swallowed it ; 
and then I looked round ; it was almost total dark- 
ness in the dingle, and the darkness added to my 
horror. I could no longer stay there; up I rose 
from the ground, and attempted to escape. At the 
bottom of the winding path which led up the accli- 
vity I fell over something which was lying on the 
ground ; the something moved, and gave a kind of 

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200 "our father." [Ch. xvil 

whine. It was my little horse, which had made that 
place its lair; my little horse; my only companion 
and Mend in that now awful solitude. I reached 
the mouth of the dingle ; the sun was just sinking 
in the far west behind me, the fields were flooded 
with his last gleams. How beautiful everything 
looked in the last gleams of the sun ! I felt re- 
lieved for a mcmient ; I was no longer in the horrid 
dingle. In another minute the sun was gone, and 
a big cloud occupied the place where he had been : 
in a little time it was almost as dark as it had 
previously been in the open part of the dingle. 
My horror increased ; what was I to do ? — it was of 
no use fighting against the horror^ — that I saw ; the 
more I fought against it, the stronger it became. 
What should I do : say my prayers ? Ah ! why 
not? So I knelt down under the hedge, and said, 
*' Our Father;" but that was of no use; and 
now I could no longer repress cries — the horror was 
too great to be borne. What should I do ? run to 
the nearest town or village, and request the assist- 
ance of my fellow-men? No ! that I was ashamed to 
do; notwithstanding the horror was upon me, I was 
ashamed to do that. I knew they would consider 

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me a maniac^ if I went screaming amongst them ; 
and I did not wish to be considered a maniac. 
Moreover, I knew that I was not a maniac, for I 
possessed all my reasoning powers, only the horror 
was upon me — the screaming horror! But how 
were indifferent people to distinguish between mad- 
ness and the screaming horror? So I thought 
and reasoned ; and at last I determined not to go 
amongst my fellow-men, whatever the result might be. 
I went to the mouth of the dingle, and there, placing 
myself on my knees, I again said the Lord's Prayer; 
but it was of no use — praying seemed to have no 
effect over the horror; the unutterable fear appeared 
rather to increase than diminish, and I again uttered 
wild cries, so loud that I was apprehensive they 
would be heard by some chance passenger on the 
neighbouring road; I therefore went deeper into 
the dingle. I sat down with my back against a 
thorn bush ; the thorns entered my flesh, and when 
I felt them, I pressed harder against the bush ; I 
thought the pain of the flesh might in some degree 
counteract the mental agony ; presently I felt them 
no longer— the power of the mental horror was so 
great that it was impossible, with that upon me, 

K 3 

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202 WHAT A MERCY I [Ch. XVlI. 

to feel any pain from the thorns. I continued in 
this posture a long time, undergoing what I cannot 
describe, and would not attempt if I were able. 
Several times I was on the point of starting up 
and rushing anywhere ; but I restrained myself, for 
I knew I could not escape fiPom myself, so why 
should I not remain in the dingle ? So I thought 
and said to myself, for my reasoning powers were 
still uninjured. At last it appeared to me that the 
horror was not so strong, not quite so strong upon 
me. Was it possible that it was relaxing its grasp, 
releasing its prey ? what a mercy ! but it could 
not be; and yet — I looked up to heaven, and clasped 
my hands, and said, " Our Father." I said no more — 
I was too agitated ; and now I was almost sure that 
the horror had done its worst. 

After a little time I arose, and staggered down 
yet farther into the dingle. I again found my little 
horse on the same spot as before. I put my 
hand to his mouth — he licked my hand. I flung 
myself down by him, and put my arms round 
his neck; the creature whinnied, and appeared to 
sympathize with me. What a comfort to have any 
one, even a dumb brute, to sympathize with me at 

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sach a moment! I clung to my little horse, as if 
for safety and protection. I laid my head on his 
neck, and felt almost calm. Presently the fear re- 
turned, but not 80 wild as before; it subsided, 
came again, again subsided ; then drowsiness came 
over me, and at last I fell asleep, my head sup- 
ported on the neck of the little horse. I awoke ; it 
was dark, dark night — not a star was to be seen — 
but I felt no fear, the horror had left me. I arose 
from the side of the little horse, and went into my 
tent, lay down, and again went to sleep. 

I awoke in the morning weak and sore, and 
shuddering at the remembrance of what I had 
gone through on the preceding day ; the sun was 
shining brightly, but it had not yet risen high 
enough to show its head above the trees which 
fenced the eastern side of the dingle, on which ac- 
count the dingle was wet and dank, from the dews 
of the night. I kindled my fire, and, after sitting 
by it for some time to warm my frame, I took 
some of the coarse food which I have already men- 
tioned; notwithstanding my late struggle, and the 
coarseness of the fare, I ate with appetite. My 
provisions had by this time been very much dimi- 

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nitshed, and I saw that it would be speedily neces- 
sary, in the event of my continuing to reside in the 
dingle, to lay in a fresh store. After my meal, I 
went to the pit and filled a can with water, which I 
brought to the dingle, and then again sat down 
on my stone. I considered what I should next do : 
it was necessary to do something, or my life in 
this solitude would be insupportable. What should 
I do ? rouse up my forge and fashion a horse-shoe? 
But I wanted nerve and heart for such an employ- 
ment; moreover, I had no motive for fatiguing my- 
self in this manner; my own horse was shod, no 
other was at hand, and it is hard to work for 
the sake of working. What should I do ? read ? 
Yes, but I had no other book than the Bible which 
the Welsh Methodist had given me. Well, why not 
read tlie Bible ? I was once fond of reading the Bible ; 
ay, but those days were long gone by. However, I 
did not see what else I could well do on the present 
occasion — so I determined to read the Bible — ^it 
was in Welsh; at any rate it might amuse me. So I 
took the Bible out of the sack, in which it was 
lying in the cart, and began to read at the place 
where I chanced to open it. I opened it at that 

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part where the history of Saul commences. At first 
I read with indifference^ hut after some time my at- 
tention was riveted, and no wonder, I had come to 
the visitations of Saul — those dark moments of his, 
when he did and said such unaccountable things ; 
it abnost appeared to me that I was reading of my- 
self; I, too, had my visitations, dark as ever his 
were. O, how I sympathized with Saul, the tall 
dark man ! I had read his life before, but it had 
made no impression on me ; it had never occurred 
to me that I was like him ; but I now sympathized 
with Saul, for my own dark hour was but recently 
passed, and, perhaps, would soon return again ; the 
dark hour came frequently on Saul. 

Time wore away; I finished the book of Saul, 
and, closing the volume, returned it to its place. I 
then returned to my seat on the stone, and thought 
of what I had read, and what I had lately under- 
gone. All at once I thought I felt well-known 
sensations, a cramping of the breast, and a tingUng 
of the soles of the feet ; they were what I had felt 
on the preceding day — they were the forerunners of 
the fear. I sat motionless on my stone, the sensa- 
tions passed away, and the fear came not- Dark- 

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Dess was now coming again oyer the earth; the 
dingle was again in deep shade ; I roused the fire 
with the breath of the bellows, and sat looking at 
the cheerfdl glow ; it was cheering and comforting. 
My little horse came now and lay down on the 
ground beside the forge ; I was not quite deserted. 
I again ate some of the coarse food, and drank 
plentifully of the water which I had fetched in the 
morning. I then put fresh fiiel on the fire, and sat 
for a long time looking on the blaze; I then went 
into my tent. 

I awoke, on my own calculation, about mid- 
night — ^it was pitch dark, and there was much fear 
upon me. 

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Two mornings after the period to which I have 
brought the reader in the preceding chapter, I sat 
by my fire at the bottom of the dingle ; I had just 
breakfasted, and had finished the last morsel of 
food which I had brought with me to that soli- 

"What shall I now do?" said I to mpelf; "shall 
I continue here, or decamp ? — this is a sad lonely 
spot — perhaps I had better quit it; but whither 
shall I go ? the wide world is before me, but what 
can I do therein ? I have been in the world already 
without much success. No, I had better remain 
here ; the place is lonely, it is true, but here I am 
free and independent, and can do what I please ; 

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208 I don't see why. [Ch. XVIII. 

but I can't remain here without food. Well, I will 
find my way to the nearest town, lay in a fresh 
supply of provision, and come back, turning my 
back upon the world, which has turned its back 
upon me. I don't see why I should not write a 
little sometimes; I have pens and an ink-horn, 
and for a writing desk I can place the Bible on 
my knee. I shouldn't wonder if I could write a 
capital satire on the world on the back of that 
Bible ; but, first of all, I must think of supplying 
myself with food." 

I rose up from the stone on which I was seated, 
determining to go to the nearest town, with my 
little horse and cart, and procure what I wanted. 
The nearest town, according to my best calculation, 
lay about five miles distant ; I had no doubt, how- 
ever, that, by using ordinary diligence, I should be 
back before evening. In order to go lighter, I 
determined to leave my tent standing as it was, and 
all the things which I had purchased of the tinker, 
just as they were. "I need not be apprehensive 
on their account," said I, to myself; "nobody will 
come here to meddle with them — the great recom- 
mendation of this place is its perfect solitude — I 

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Ch. XVIIL] OATS. 209 

dare say that I could live here six months without 
seeing a single human visage. I will now harness 
my little gry and be off to the town." 

At a whistle which I gave, the, little gry, which 
was feeding on the bank near the uppermost part 
of the dingle, came running to me, for by this time 
he had become so accustomed to me, that he would 
obey my call, for all the world as if he had been 
one of the canine species. " Now," said I to him, 
*' we are going to the town to buy bread for myself, 
and oats for you — I am in a hurry to be back ; 
therefore, I pray you to do your best, and to draw 
me and the cart to the town with all possible 
speed, and to bring us back ; if you do your best, 
I promise you oats on your return. You know the 
meaning of oats, Ambrol ? " 

Ambrol whinnied as if to let me know that he 
understood me perfectly well, as indeed he well 
might, as I had never once fed him during the time 
that he had been in my possession without saying 
the word in question to him. Now, Ambrol, in 
the Gypsy tongue, signifieth a pear. 

So I caparisoned Ambrol, and then, going to 
the cart, I removed two or three things from it 

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into the tent ; I then lifted up the shafts, and was 
just going to call to the pony to come and be 
fastened to them, when I thought I heard a noise. 

I stood stock still, supporting the shaft of the 
little cart in my hand, and bending the right side 
of my face slightly towards the ground, but I 
could hear nothing ; the noise which I thought I 
had heard was not one of those sounds which I 
was accustomed to he£ir in that solitude — the note 
of a bird, or the rustling of a bough ; it was — there 
I heard it again, a sound very much resembling the 
grating of a wheel amongst gravel. Could it pro- 
ceed from the road ? Oh, no, the road was too far 
distant for me to hear the noise of anything moving 
along it Again I listened, and now I distinctly 
heard the sound of wheels, which seemed to be ap- 
proaching the dingle ; nearer and nearer they drew, 
and presently the sound of wheels was blended with 
the murmur of voices. Anon I heard a boisterous 
shout, which seemed to proceed from the entrance 
of the dingle. ^* Here are folks at hand," said I, 
letting the shaft of the cart fall to the ground, '' is 
it possible that tihey can be coming here ? " 

My doubts on that point, if I entertained any, 

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were soon dispelled ; the wheels, which had ceased 
moving for a moment or two, were once again in 
motion, and were now evidently moving down the 
winding path which led to my retreat Leaving my 
cart, I came forward and placed myself near the 
entrance of the open space, with my eyes fixed on 
the path down which my unexpected, and I may say 
unwelcome, visitors were coining. Presently I heard 
a stamping or sUding, as if of a horse in some diffi- 
culty ; then a loud curse, and the next moment ap- 
peared a man and a horse and cart ; the former hold- 
ing the head of the horse up to prevent him fix>m 
falling, of which he was in danger, owing to the 
precipitious nature of the path. Whilst thus occu- 
pied, the head of the man was averted from me. 
When, however, he had reached the bottom of the 
descent, he turned his head, and perceiving me, as 
I stood bare-headed, without either coat or waist- 
coat, about two yards from him, he gave a sudden 
start, so violent, that the backward motion of 
his hand had nearly flung the horse upon his 

" Why don't you move forward ?" said a voice from 
behind, apparently that of a female, '* you are stop- 

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213 what's the matter? [Ch. xviii. 

ping up the way, and we shall he all down upon one 
another '" and I saw the head of another horse over- 
topping the hack of the cart. 

''Why dont you move forward, Jack?" said 
another voice, also of a female, yet higher up the 

The man stirred not, hut remained staring at me 
in the posture which he had assumed on first per- 
ceiving me, his hody very much drawn hack, his 
left foot far in advance of his right, and with his 
right hand still grasping the halter of the horse, 
which gave way more and more, till it was clean 
down on its haunches. 

" What *s the matter ? " said the voice which I 
had last heard. 

" Get hack with you, Belle, Moll," sdd the 
man, still staring at me, "here's something not 
over canny or comfortahle. " 

" What is it?" said the same voice; "let me pass, 
Moll, and 111 soon clear the way ;" and I heard a 
kind of rushing down the path. 

"You need not he afraid," sdd I, addressing 
myself to the man, " I mean you no harm ; I am 
a wanderer like yourself — come here to seek for 

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shelter -you need not be afraid; I am a Boman 
chabo by matriculation — one of the right sort, and 
no mistake — Good day to ye, brother; I bid ye 

The man eyed me suspiciously for a moment — 
then, turning to his horse with a loud curse, he pulled 
him up from his haunches, and led him and the 
cart farther down to one side of the dingle, mutter- 
ing, as he passed me, " Afraid ! Hm ! " 

I do not remember ever to have seen a more 
ruffianly looking fellow; he was about six feet 
high, with an immensely athletic frame; his face 
was black and bluff, and sported an immense pair of 
whiskers, but with here and there a grey hdr, for 
his age could not be much under fifty. He wore a 
faded blue frock coat, corduroys, and highlows ; on 
his black head was a kind of red nightcap, round 
his bull neck a Barcelona handkerchief — I did not 
like the look of the man at all. 

"Afrfdd!" growled the fellow, proceeding to 
unliamess his horse ; " that was the word, I 

But other figures were now already upon the 
scene. Dashing past the other horse and cart. 

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which hy this time had reached the hottom of the 
pass, appeared an exceedingly tall woman, or 
rather girl, for she could scarcely have heen ahove 
eighteen ; she was dressed in a tight hodice and a 
hlue stuff gown; hat, honnet, or cap she had none, 
and her hair, which was flaxen, hung down on her 
shoulders unconfined; her complexion was fair, 
and her features handsome, with a determined but 
open expression — she was followed hy another 
female, about forty, stout and vulgar looking, at 
whom I scarcely glanced, my whole attention being 
absorbed by the tall girl. 

"What's the matter. Jack?" said the latter, 
looking at the man. 

" Only afraid, that 's all,** said the man, still pro- 
ceeding with his work. 

" Afraid at what — at that lad ? why, he looks like 
a ghost — I would engage to thrash him with one 

" You might beat me with no hands at all,** said I, 
" fair damsel, only by looking at me — I never saw 
such a face and figure, both regal — why, you look 
like Ingeborg, Queen of Norway ; she had twelve 
brothers, you know, and could lick them alL 

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though they were heroes : — 

" * On Dovrefeld in Norway, 
Were once together seen, 
The twelve heroic brothers 
Of Ingeborg the queen.' " 

" None of your chafltog, young fellow," said the 
tall girl, " or I will give you what shaU make you 
wipe your face ; be civil, or you will rue it." 

" Well, perhaps I was a peg too high," said I, 
" I ask your pardon — here s something a hit 
lower : — 

" ' As I was jawing to the gav yeck diyms 
I met on the drom miro Kommany chi — ' " 

"None of your Bommany chies, young fellow," 
said the tall girl, looking more menacingly than he- 
fore, and clenching her fist ; " you had better be 
civil, I am none of your chies ; and though I keep 
company with gypsies, or, to speak more proper, 
half-and-halfs, I would have you to know that I 
come of Christian blood and parents, and was bom 
in the great house of Long Melford." 

" I have no doubt," said I, " that it was a great 
house ; judging from your size I should'nt wonder 
if you were bom in a church." 

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" Stay, Belle," said the man, putting himself be- 
fore the young virago, who was about to rush 
upon me, " my turn is first" — then, advancing to 
me in a menacing attitude, he said, with a look of 
deep malignity, "* Afraid* was the word, wasn't it ? " 

" It was," said I, " but I think I wronged you; 
I should have said, aghast, you exhibited every 
symptom of one labouring under imcontroUable 

The fellow stared at me with a look of stupid 
ferocity, and appeared to be hesitating whether to 
strike or not : ere he could make up his mind, the 
tall girl started forward, crying, "He's chaffing; 
let me at him ; " and before I could put myself on 
my guard, she struck me a blow on the face which 
had nearly brought me to the ground. 

"Enough," said I, putting my hand to my 
cheek; "you have now performed your promise, 
and made me wipe my face : now be pacified, and 
tell me fairly the grounds of this quarrel." 

" Grounds ! " said the fellow ; " didn't you say I 
was afraid ; and if you hadn't, who gave you leave 
to camp on my ground?" 

" Is it your ground ? " said I. 

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" A pretty question," said the fellow ; " as if all 
the world didn t know that Do you know who 

"I guess I do," said I; "unless I am much 
mistaken, you are he whom folks call the ' Flaming 
Tinman.' To tell you the truth, I m glad we have 
met, for I wished to see you. These are your two 
wives, I suppose ; I greet them. There s no hann 
done — there s room enough here for all of ns — we 
shall soon be good friends, I dare say ; and when 
we are a little better acquainted, I*H tell you my 

" Well, if that does'nt beat all ! " said the fellow. 

" I don't think he s chaffing now," said the girl, 
whose anger seemed to have subsided on a sudden ; 
" the young man speaks civil enough." 

" Civil !" said the fellow, with an oath ; " but that s 
just like you ; with you it is a blow, and all over. 
Civil ! I suppose you would have him stay here, 
and get into all my secrets, and hear all I may have 
to say to my two morts." 

"Twomorts!" said the girl, kindling up, "where 
are they ? Speak for one, and no more. I am no 
mort of yours, whatever some one else may be. I 


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218 what's THIS? [Ch. XVIII. 

tell you one thing, Black John, or Anselo, — for 
t'other an*t yonr name, — the same thing I told the 
yonng man here, be civil, or you will rue it." 

The fellow looked at the girl fiiriously, hut his 
glance soon quailed before hers; he withdrew his 
eyes, and cast them on my little horse, which was 
feeding amongst the trees. "What's this?" said 
he, rushing forward and seizing the animal. '* Why, 
as I am alive, this is the horse of that mumping 
villain Slingsby." 

" It s his no longer; I bought it and paid for it." 

**It's mine now," said the fellow; "I swore I 
would seize it the next time I found it on my beat ; 
ay, and beat the master too." 

"I am not Shngsby." 

"All's one for that." 

" You don't say you will beat me ? " 

" Afraid was the word." 

" I 'm sick and feeble." 

" Hold up your fists." 

" Won't the horse satisfy you ? " 

" Horse nor bellows either." 

"No mercy, then?" 

"Here 'sat you/' 

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" Mind your eyes, Jack. There, you ve got it. 
I thought so," shouted the girl, as the fellow stag- 
gered back from a sharp blow in the eye ; *' I 
thought he was chaffing at you all along." 

" Never mind, Anselo. You know what to do — 
go in," said the vulgar woman, who had hitherto 
not spoken a word, but who now came forward with 
all the look of a fury; "go inapopli; you'll 
smash ten like he." 

The Flaming Tinman took her advice, and came 
in bent on smashing, but stopped short on receiving 
a left-handed blow on the nose. 

"You'll never beat the Flaming Tinman in that 
way," said the girl, looking at me doubtfiiUy. 

And so I began to think myself, when, in the 
twinkhng of an eye, the Flaming Tinman, disen- 
gaging himself of his frock-coat, and dashing off his 
red night-cap, came rushing in more desperately 
than ever. To a flush hit which he received in the 
mouth he paid as little attention as a wild bull 
would have done; in a moment his arms were 
around me, and in another he had hurled me 
down, falling heavily upon me. The fellows 

strength appeared to be tremendous. 

L 2 

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" Pay him off now," said the vulgar woman. 
The Flaming Tinman made no reply, hut, planting 
his knee on my hreast, seized my throat with two 
huge homy hands. I gave myself up for dead, 
and prohahly should have heen so in another 
minute but for the tall girl, who caught hold of 
the handkerchief which the fellow wore round his 
neck, with a grasp nearly as powerful as that with 
which he pressed my throat. 

" Do you call that fair play?" said she. 

'* Hands off. Belle," said the other woman ; " do 
you call it fair play to interfere? hands off, or 111 
be down upon you myself." 

But Belle paid no heed to the injunction, and 
tugged so hard at the handkerchief, that the Flam- 
ing Tinman was nearly throttled ; suddenly relin- 
quishing his hold of me, he started on his feet, and 
aimed a blow at my fair preserver, who avoided it, 
but said coolly : — 

" Finish t'other business first, and then I m your 
woman whenever you like; but finish it ffdrly — 
no foul play when I *m by — I '11 be the boy's second, 
and Moll can pick up you when he happens to 
knock you down." 

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The battle during the next ten minutes raged 
with considerable fury, but it so happened that 
during this time I was never able to knock the 
Flaming Tinman down, but on the contrary received 
six knock-down blows myself. " I can never stand 
this," said I, as I sat on the knee of Belle, " I am 
afraid I must give in; the Flaming Tinman hits very 
hard," and I spat out a mouthful of blood. 

" Sure enough you'll never beat the Flaming Tin- 
man in the way you fight — it's of no use flipping at 
the Flaming Tinman with your left hand ; why don't 
you use your right ? " 

"Because I'm not handy with it," said I; and 
then getting up> I once more confronted the 
Flaming Tinman, and struck him six blows for 
his one, but they were all left-handed blows, and 
the blow which the Flaming Tinman gave me 
knocked me off my legs. 

"Now, will you use Long Melford?" said Belle, 
picking me up. 

"I don't know what you mean by Long Melford," 
said I, gasping for breath. 

" Why, this long right of yours," said Belle, feel- 
ing my right arm; "if you do, I should'nt wonder 
if you yet stand a chance." 

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And DOW the Flaming Tinman was once more 
ready, much more ready than myself. I, however, 
rose from my second's knee as well as my weakness 
would permit me. On he came, striking left and 
right, appearing almost as fresh as to wind 
and spirit as when he first commenced the com- 
bat, though his eyes were considerably swelled, 
and his nether lip was cut in two; on he 
came, striking left and right, and I did not like his 
blows at all, or even the wind of them, which was 
anything but agreeable, and I gave way before him. 
At last he aimed a blow which, had it taken 
full effect, would doubtless have ended the battle, 
but owing to his slipping, the fist only grazed my 
left shoulder, and came with terrific force against a 
tree, close to which I had been driven; before the 
Tinman could recover himself, I collected all my 
strength, and struck him beneath the ear, and 
then fell to the ground completely exhausted; 
and it so happened that the blow which I 
struck the Tinker beneath the ear was a right- 
handed blow. 

" Hurrah for Long Melford ! '* I heard Belle ex* 
claim ; " there is nothing like Long Melford for 
Bhortness, all the world over/* 

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At these words I turned round my head as I lay, 
and perceiyed the Flaming Tinman stretched upon 
the ground apparently senseless. "He is dead," 
said the vulgar woman, as she vainly endeavoured 
to raise him up; " he is dead; the best man in all 
the north country, killed in this fashion, by a boy!" 
Alarmed at these words^ I made shift to get on my 
feet ; and, with the assistance of the woman, placed 
my fallen adversary in a sitting posture. I put my 
hand to his heart, and felt a slight pulsation — ''He's 
not dead," said I, " only stunned ; if he were let 
blood, he would recover presently." I produced a 
penknife which I had in my pocket, and, baring the 
arm of the Tinman, was about to make the neces- 
sary incision, when the woman gave me a violent 
blow, and, pushing me aside, exclaimed, " I '11 tear 
the eyes out of your head, if you offer to touch 
him. Bo you want to complete your work, and 
murder him outaight, now he 's asleep ? you have 
had enough of his blood already." "You are 
mad/' said I, " I only seek to do him service. Well, 
if you wont let him be blooded, fetch some water 
and fling it in his face, you know where the pit is." 

" A pretty manoeuvre]" said the woman; "leave 

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my hasband in the hands of you and that limmer, 
who has never been true to us — I should find him 
strangled or his throat cut when I came back." 
" Do you go," said I to the tall girl; " take the can 
and fetch some water fix)m the pit." "You had 
better go yourself/* said the girl, wiping a tear as she 
looked on the yet senseless form of the Tinker ; " you 
had better go yourself, if you think water will do him 
good." I had by this time somewhat recovered my 
exhausted powers, and, taking the can, I bent my 
steps as fast as I could to the pit ; arriving there, I 
lay down on the brink, took a long draught, and 
then plunged my head into the water ; after which 
I filled the can, and bent my way back to the dingle. 
Before I could reach the path which led down into 
its depths, I had to pass some way along its side ; 
I had arrived at a part immediately over the scene 
of the last encounter, where the bank, overgrown 
with trees, sloped precipitously down. Here I 
heard a loud sound of voices in the dingle; I stopped, 
- and laying hold of a tree, leaned over the bank and 
listened. The two women appeared to be in hot 
dispute in the dingle. " It was all owing to you, you 
limmer," said the vulgar woman to the other ; "had 

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you not interfered, the old man would soon have 
settled the boy." 

" I m for fair play and Long Melford/' said the 
other. " If your old man, as you call him, could 
have settled the boy fairly, he might for all I should 
have cared, but no foul work for me, and as for 
sticking the boy with our guUeys when he comes back, 
as you proposed, I am not so fond of your old man or 
you that I should oblige you in it, to my soul's de- 
struction." *' Hold your tongue, or I '11 — " I listened 
no farther, but hastened as fast as I could to the 
dingle. My adversary had just begun to show signs 
of animation ; the vulgar woman was still support- 
ing him, and occasionally cast glances of anger at 
the tall girl, who was walking slowly up and down. 
I lost no time in dashing the greater part of the 
water into the Tinman's face, whereupon he sneezed, 
moved his hands, and presently looked round him. 
At first his looks were dull and heavy, and without 
any intelligence at all ; he soon, however, began to 
recollect himself, and to be conscious of his situa- 
tion; he cast a scowling glance at me, then one 
of the deepest malignity at the tall girl, who was 
still walking about without taking much notice of 

L 3 

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226 IT won't do. [Ch. XVIII. 

what was going forward. At last he looked at his 
right hand, which had evidently suffered from the 
hlow against the tree, and a half-stifled curse 
escaped his lips. The vulgar woman now said 
something to him in a low tone, whereupon he 
looked at her for a moment, and then got upon his 
legs. Again the vulgar woman said something to 
him ; her looks were furious, and she appeared to 
be urging him on to attempt something. 1 ob- 
served that she had a clasped knife in her hand. 
The fellow remained standing for some time as if 
hesitating what to do ; at last he looked at his hand, 
and, shaking his head, said something to the woman 
which I did not understand. The tall girl, how- 
ever, appeared to overhear him, and, probably re- 
peating his words, said, " No, it won't io ; you are 
right there; and now hear what I have to say, — ^let 
bygones be l)ygones, and let us all shake hands, 
and camp here, as the young man was saying just 
now." The man looked at her, and then, with- 
out any reply, went to his horse, which was 
lying down among the trees, and kicking it up, 
led it to the cart, to which he forthwith began to 
harness it. The other cart and horse had remained 

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standing motionless during the whole affair which 
I have been recounting, at the bottom of the pass. 
The woman now took the hor^e by the head, and 
leading it with the cart into the open part of the 
dingle, turned both round, and then led them back, 
till the horse and cart h^ mounted a little way up 
die ascent ; she th^ stood still and t^peared to be 
expecting the man. During this proceeding Belle 
had stood looking on without saying anything ; at 
last, percerring that the mem had harnessed his 
horse to the other cart, and that both he and the 
woman were about to take their departure, she 
«aid, "You are not going, are you?" Receiving 
no answer, she. continued: '* I tell you what, both 
of you. Black John, and you Moll, his mort, this 
is not treating me over civilly, — however, I am 
ready to put up with it, and to go with you if you 
'like, for I bear no malice. I 'm sorry for what has 
happened, but you have only yourselves to thank 
'for it. Now, shall I go with you, only tell me ? " 
The man made no manner of reply, but flogged his 
horse. The woman, however, whose passions were 
probably under less control, replied, with a screech- 
ing tone, " Stay where you are, you jade, and may 

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the curse of Judas cling to you, — stay with the bit 
of a muUo whom you helped, and my only hope is 
that he may gulley you before he comes to be . . . 
Have you with us, indeed! after what's past! no, 
nor nothing belonging to you. Fetch down your 
mailla go-cart and live here with your chabo." She 
then whipped on the horse, and ascended the pass, 
followed by the man. The carts were light, and 
they were not long in ascending the winding path. 
I followed to see that they took their departure. 
Arriving at the top, I found near the entrance a 
small donkey-cart, which I concluded belonged to 
the girL The tinker and his mort were already at 
some distance; I stood looking after them for a 
little time, then taking the donkey by the reins I 
led it with the cart to the bottom of the dingle. 
Arrived there, I found Belle seated on the stone by 
the fire-place. Her hair was all dishevelled, and 
she was in tears. 

" They were bad people," said she, " and I did 
not like them, but they were my only acquaintance 
in the wide world." 

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In the evening of that same day the tall girl and I 
sat at tea by the fire, at the bottom of the dingle ; 
the girl on a small stool, and myself, as usual, upon 
my stone. 

The water which served for the tea had been taken 
from a spring of pellucid water in the neighbourhood, 
which I had not had the good fortune to discover, 
though it was well known to my companion, and to 
the wandering people who frequented the dingle. 

" This tea is very good," said I, " but I cannot 
enjoy it as much as if I were well : I feel very 

" How else should you feel," said the girl, " after 
fighting with the Flaming Tinman ? All I wonder at 
is that you can feel at all ! As for the tea, it ought 
to be good, seeing that it cost md ten shillings a 

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r ^f 

230 VAPOURS. [Oh. XIX. 

" That 's a great deal for a person in your station 
to pay/* 

'^ In my station ! I *d have you to know, young : 
man — however, I haven't the heart to quarrel with 
you, you look so ill ; and after all, it is a good sum 
for one to pay who travels the roads ; but if I must 
have tea, I like to have the best ; and tea I must 
have, for I am used to it, though I can't help think- 
ing that it sometimes fills my head with strange 
fancies — ^what some folks call vapours, making me 
weep and cry." 

" Dear me," said I, " I should never have thought 
that one of your size and fierceness would weep and 

" My size and fierceness ! I tell you what, young 
man, you are not over civil this evening ; but you 
are ill, as I said before, and I shan't take much no- 
tice of your language, at least for the present; as for 
my size, I am not so much bigger than yourself; 
*and as for being fierce, you should be the last one 
to fling that at me. It is well for you that I can 
be fierce sometimes. If I hadn't taken your part 
against Blazing Bosville, you wouldn't be now 
taking tea with me." 

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" It IB trae that you struck me in the face first; but 
we '11 let that pass. So that man's name is Bosville; 
what 's your own ? " 

" Isopel Berners." 

" How did you get that naine ? " 

" I say, young man, you seem fond of asking 
questions : will you have another cup of tea ?" 

" I was just going to ask for another." 

" Well, then, here it is, and much good may it 
do you; as for my name, I got it froiii my mother." 

** iTour mother s name, then, was tsopel ! " 

" Isopel Berners." 

" But had you never a father ? " 

" Yes, 1 had a father," said the girl, sighing, 
** but I don't bear his name." 

" Is it the fashion, then, in your country fdr 
children to bear iheir mother's name ? " 

" If you ask such questions, young man, I shall 
be angry with you. I have told you iky name, and, 
whether my father's or mother's, I am hot ashamed 
of it." 

" It is a noble niEime." 

" There you are right, young man. The chaplain 

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in the great house, where I was horn, told me it was 
a nohle name ; it was odd enough, he said, that the 
only three nohle names in the county were to he 
found in the great house ; mine was one ; the other 
two were Devereux and Bohun." 

" What do you mean hy the great house ? " 

" The workhouse." 

*' Is it possible that you were horn there ? " 

*' Yes, young man ; and as you now speak softly 
and kindly, I will tell you my whole tale. My 
father was an officer of the sea, and was killed at 
sea as he was coming home to marry my mother, 
Isopel Berners. He had been acquainted with her, 
and had left her ; but after a few months he wrote 
her a letter, to say that he had no rest, and that 
he repented, and that as soon as his ship came to 
port he would do her all the reparation in his power. 
Well, young man, the very day before they reached 
port they met the enemy, and there was a fight, and 
my father was killed, after he had struck down six 
of the enemy's crew on their own deck; for my father 
was a big man, as I have heard, and knew tolerably 
well how to use his hands. And when my mother 

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heard the news, she hecame half distracted, and ran 
away into the fields and forests, totally neglecting 
her husiness, for she was a small milliner ; and so 
she ran demented ahout the meads and forests for 
a long time, now sitting under a tree, and now hy 
the side of a river — at last she fiong herself into 
some water, and would have heen drowned, had not 
some one heen at hand and rescued her, whereupon 
she was conveyed to the great house, lest she 
shoufd attempt to do herself farther mischief, for 
she had neither friends nor parents — and there she 
died three months after, having first hrought me 
into the world. She was a sweet pretty creature, 
I m told, but hardly fit for this world, being neither 
large, nor fierce, nor able to take her own part. 
So I was bom and bred in the great house, where I 
learnt to read and sew, to fear God, and to take my 
own part. When I was fourteen I was put out to 
service to a small farmer and his wife, with whom, 
however, I did not stay long, for I was half-starved, 
and otherwise ill treated, especially by my mistress, 
who one day attempting to knock me down with a 
besom, I knocked her down with my fist, and went 
back to the great house." 

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" And how did they receive you in the great 

" Not very kindly, young man — on the contrary, 
I was put into a dark room, where I was kept a 
fortnight on bread and water ; I did not much care, 
however, being glad to have got back to the great 
house at any rate^— the place where I was bom, and 
where my poor mother died; and in the great house 
I continued two years longer, reading and sewing, 
fearing God, and taking my Own part when neces- 
sary. At the end of the two years I was again put 
out to service, but this time to a rich fanner and his 
wife, with whom, however, I did not live long, less 
time, I believe, than with the poor ones, being 
obliged to leave f or . . . ." 

" Knocking your mistress down?" 

" No, young man, knocking my master down, 
who conducted himself improperly towards me. 
This time I did hot go back to the great house, 
having a misgiving that they would n6t receive me; 
so I turned my back to the great house where I t^i%s 
born, and where my potor mother died, and wandered 
for several days I know riot whither, supporting 
myself on a few hal^ence which I chanced to have 

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in my pocket. It happened one day, as I sat 
under a hedge crying, having spent my last farthing, 
that a eomfortahle-looking elderly woman came up 
in a cart, and seeing the state in which I was, she 
stopped and asked what was the matter with me; 
I told her some part of my story, whereupon she 
said, ' Cheer up, my dear; if you like, you shall go 
with me, and wait upon me.* Of course I wanted 
little persuasion, so I got into the cart and went 
with her. She took me to London and various 
other places, and I soon found that she was a 
travelling woman, who went about the country with 
silks and linen. I was of great use to her, more 
especially in those places where we met evil com- 
pany. Once, as we were coming from Dover, we 
were met by two sailors, wlio stopped our cart, arid 
would have robbed and stripped us. * Let me get 
down,' said I; so I got down, and fought with them 
both, till thiey turned round and ran away. Two 
years I lived with the old gentlewoman, who was 
very kind to me, almost as kind as a mother; at 
last she feU sick at a place in Lincblnshire, and 
after a few days died, leaving me her cart and stock 

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in trade, praying me only to see her decently bnried 
— ^which I did, giving her a funeral fit for a gentle- 
woman. After which I travelled the country — ^me- 
lancholy enough for want of company, but so far 
fortunate, that I could take my own part when any- 
body was uncivil to me. At last, passing through 
the valley of Todmorden, I formed the acquaintance 
of Blazing Bosville and his wife, with whom J 
occasionally took journeys for company's sake, for 
it is melancholy to travel about alone, even when 
one can take one s own part. I soon found they 
were evil people; but, upon the whole, they treated 
me civilly, and I sometimes lent them a little 
money, so that we got on tolerably well together. 
He and I, it is true, had once a dispute, and nearly 
came to blows; for once, when we were alone, he 
wanted me to marry him, promising, if I would, to 
turn off Grey Moll, or, if I liked it better, to make 
her wait upon me as a maid-servant ; I never liked 
him much, but from that hour less than ever. Of 
the two, I believe Grey Moll to be the best, for she 
is at any rate true and faitMul to him, and I like 
truth and constancy — don't you, young man?" 

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" Yes/' said I, '* they are very nice things. I 
feel very strangely." 

" How do you feel, young man ? " 

" Very much afraid/* 

" Afraid, at what ? At the Flaming Tinman ? 
Don't be afraid of him. He won't come back, 
and if he did, he shouldn't touch you in this state, 
I 'd fight him for you; but he wont come back, 
so you needn't be afraid of him." 

" I 'm not afraid of the Flaming Tinman." 
What, then, are you afraid of ? " 

" The evil one." 

" The evil one!" said the girl, " where is he ?" 

" Coming upon me." 

" Never heed," said the girl, " I '11 stand by you." 

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The kitchen of the public house was a large one, 
and many people were drinking in it ; there was a 
confused hubbub of voices. 

I sat down on a bench behind a deal table, of 
which there were three or four in the kitchen ; pre- 
sently a bulky man, in a green coat of the New- 
market cut, and without a hat, entered, and observing 
me, came up, and in rather a gruff tone cried, 
** Want anything, young fellow T* 

"Bring me a jug of ale," said I, "if you are the 
master, as I suppose you are, by that same coat of 
yours, and your having no hat on your head." 

" Don t be saucy, young fellow," said the land- 
lord, for such he was; " don t be saucy, or .... " 
Whatever he intended to say he left unsaid, for 

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Oh. XX.] NO OFFENCE. 239 

fixing his eyes upon one of my hands, whiph I had 
placed by chance upon the table^ he became sud- 
denly still. 

This was my left hand^ which was raw and 
swollen, from the blows dealt on a certain hard 
skull in a recent combat. " What do you mean by 
staring at my hand so ?" said I, withdrawing it from 
the table. 

"No offence, young man, no offence," said the 
landlord, in a quite altered tone ; " but the sight of 
your hand . . . ", then observing that our conversa- 
tion began to attract the notice of the guests in the 
kitchen, he interrupted himself, saying in an under 
tone, " But mum 's the word for the present, I will 
go and fetch the ale." 

In about a minute he returned, with a jug of ale 
foaming high. "Here's your health," said he, 
blowing off the foam, and drinking ; but perceiving 
that I looked rather dissatisfied, he murmured, 
" All 's right, I glory in you ; but mum s the word." 
Then placing the jug on the table, he gave me a 
confidential nod, and swaggered out of the room. 

What can the silly impertinent fellow mean, 
thought I ; but the ale was now before me, and I 

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240 NODDING. [Ch. XX. 

hastened to drink, for my weakness was great, and 
my mind was fall of dark thoughts, the remains of 
the indescribable horror of the preceding night. 
It may kill me, thought I, as I drank deep — but 
who cares? anything is better than what I have 
suffered. I drank deep, and then leaned back 
against the wall : it appeared as if a vapour was 
stealing up into my brain, gentle and benign, sooth- 
ing and stilling the horror and the fear ; higher and 
higher it mounted, and I felt nearly overcome ; but 
the sensation was delicious, compared with that I 
had lately experienced, and now I felt myself 
nodding ; and, bending down, I laid my head on the 
table on my folded hands. 

And in that attitude I remained some time, per- 
fectly unconscious. At length, by degrees, percep- 
tion returned, and I lifted up my head. I felt 
somewhat dizzy and bewildered, but the dark 
shadow had withdrawn itself from me. And now 
once more I drank of the jug; this second 
draught did not produce an overpowering effect 
upon me — it revived and strengthened me — I felt a 
new man. 

I looked around me; the kitchen had been de- 

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serted by the greater part of the guests; besides 
myself, only four remained; these were seated at 
the farther end. One was haranguing fiercely and 
eagerly; he was abusing England, and praising 
America. At last he exclaimed, " So when I gets 
to New York, I will toss up my hat, and damn the 
That man must be a Badical, thought I. 


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The individual whom I supposed to be a Radical, 
after a short pause^ again uplifted his yoice ; he 
was rather a strong-built fellow of about thirty, 
with an ill-favoured countenance, a white hat on 
his head, a snuff-coloured coat on his back, and, 
when he was not speaking, a pipe in his mouth. 
" Who would live in such a country as England ? ** 
he shouted. 

" There is no country like America," said his 
nearest neighbour, a man also in a white hat, and 
of a very ill-favoured countenance — "there is no 
country like America/* said he, withdrawing a pipe 
from his mouth; "I think I shall — " and here he 
took a draught from a jug, the contents of which 

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he appeared to have in common with the other, — 
" go to America one of these days myself/* 

" Poor old England is not such a bad country, 
after all," said a third, a simple-looking man in a 
labouring dress, who sat smoking . a pipe without 
anything before him. "If there was but a little 
more work to be got, I should have nothing to say 
against her; I hope, however . . . . " 

" You hope ! who cares what you hope T' inter- 
rupted the first, in a savage tone ; " you are one of 
those sneaking hounds who are satisfied with dogs' 
wages — a bit of bread and a kick. Work, indeed ! 
who, with the spirit of a man, would work for a 
country where there is neither liberty of speech, nor 
of action ? a land full of beggarly aristocracy, hungry 
borough-mongers, insolent parsons, and 'their .... 
wives and daughters,* as William Cobbett says, in 
his ' Register.* " 

" Ah, the Church of England has been a source 
of incalculable mischief to these realms,*' said 

The person who uttered these words sat rather 
aloof from the rest ; he was dressed in a long black 
surtout. I could not see much of his face, parti 

M 2 

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owing to his keeping it very much directed to the 
ground^ and partly owing to a large slouched hat 
which he wore ; I ohserved, however, that his hair 
was of a reddish tinge. On the table near him was 
a glass and spoon. 

" You are quite right," said the first, alluding to 
what this last had said, " the Church of England 
has done incalculable mischief here. I value no 
religion three hal^ence, for I believe in none; 
but the one that I hate most is the Church of 
England; so when I get to New York, after I 
have shown the fine fellows on the quay a spice of 
me, by . . . the King, I *11 toss up my hat again, 
and . . . the Church of England too." 

" And suppose the people of New York should 
clap you in the stocks ?" said I. 

These words drew upon me the attention of the 
whole four. The Badical and his companion stared 
at me ferociously; the man in black gave me 
a peculiar glance from under his slouched 
hat ; the simple-looking man in the labouring dress 

" What are you laughing at, you fool ?" said the 
Badical, turning and looking at the other, who ap- 

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peared to be afraid of him; " hold your noise ; and 
a pretty fellow, you/' said he, looking at me, *' to 
come here, and speak against the great American 

'' I speak against the great American nation!'* 
said I ; ^' I rather paid them a compliment." 

'* By supposing they would put me in the stocks. 
Well, I call it abusing them, to suppose they would 
do any such thing — stocks, indeed ! — there are no 
stocks in all the land. Put me in the stocks! why, 
the President will come down to the quay, and ask 
me to dinner, as soon as he hears what I have said 
about the King and Church." 

" I shouldn't wonder," said I, " if you go to Ame^ 
rica you will say of the President and country, what 
now you say of the King and Church, and cry out 
for somebody to send you back to England." 

The Radical dashed his pipe to pieces against the 
table. "I tell you what, young fellow, you are a 
spy of the aristocracy, sent here to kick up a dis- 

" Kicking up a disturbance," said I, " is rather 
inconsistent with the office of spy. If I were a 

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spy, I should hold my head down, and say. no- 

The man in hlack partially raised his head, and 
gave me another peculiar glance. 

" Well, if you ar n t sent to spy, you are sent to 
hully, to prevent people speaking, and to run down 
the great American nation ; but you sha'n't bully 
me. I say, down with the aristocracy, the beg- 
garly British aristocracy. Come, what have you 
to say to that?" 

" Nothing," said I. 

" Nothing !" repeated the Radical. 

" No," said I, " down with them as soon as you 

" As soon as I can ! I wish I could. But I can 
down with a bully of theirs. Come, will you fight 
for them ? " 

" No," said I. 

"You won't?" 

" No," said I ; " though, from what I have seen 
of them, I should say they are tolerably able to 
fight for themselves." 

" You*won t fight for them," said the Radical 

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triumphantly ; " I thought so ; all bullies, especially 
those of the aristocracy, are cowards. Here, land- 
lord," said he, raising his voice, and striking against 
the table with the jug, " some more ale — he won't 
fight for his friends." 

" A white feather," said his companion. 

" He ! he ! " tittered the man in black. 

" Landlord, landlord," shouted the Badical, 
striking the table with the jug louder than before. 
"Who called?" said the landlord, coming in at 
last. " Fill this jug again," said the other, " and 
be quick about it." " Does any one else want any- 
thing ? " said the landlord. " Yes," said the man 
in black; "you may bring me another glass of 
gin and water." "Cold?" said the landlord. 
" Yes," said the man in black, " with a lump of 
sugar in it" 

" Gin and water cold, with a lump of sugar in 
it," said I, and struck the table with my fist. 

" Take some?" said the landlord, inqjairingly. 

"No," said I, "only something came into my 

" He 's mad," said the man in black. 

* Not he," said the Badical, " He *s only sham- 

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ming ; he knows his master is here, and therefore 
has recourse to these manoeuTres^ but it won't do. 
Come, landlord, what are you staring at? Why don't 
you obey your orders ? Keeping your customers 
waiting in this manner is not the way to increase 
your business." 

The landlord looked at the Radical, and then at 
me. At last, taking the jug and glass he left the 
apartment, and presently returned with each filled 
with its respective liquor. He placed the jug with 
beer before the Radical, and the glass with the gin 
and water before the man in black, and then, with 
a wink to me, he sauntered out. 

" Here is your health, sir," said the man of the 
snuff-coloured coat, addressing himself to the one 
in black ; " I honour you for what you said about 
the Church of England. Every one who speaks 
against the Church of England has my warm heart. 
Down with it, I say, and may the stones of it be 
used for mending the roads, as my ficiend William 
says in his Begister." 

The man in black, with a courteous nod of his 
head, drank to the man in the snuff-coloured coat. 
" With respect to the steeples," said he, " I am 

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not altogether of your opinion; they might he 
turned to better account than to serve to mend the 
roads ; they might still be used as places of worship, 
but not for the worship of the Church of England. 
I have no fault to find with the steeples, it is the 
Church itself which I am compelled to arraign; but 
it will not stand long, the respectable part of its 
ministers are already leaving it It is a bad Church, 
a persecuting Church." 

" Whom does it persecute ? " said I. 

The man in glanced at me slightly, and 
then replied slowly, " the Catholics." 

" And do those whom you call Catholics never 
persecute ? " said I. 

*' Never/' said the man in black. 

" Did you ever read ' Fox s Book of Martyrs * ? *' 
said I. 

" He ! he!" tittered the man in black, " there 
is not a word of truth in * Fox's Book of Mar- 
tyrs.' " 

" Ten times more than in the ' Flos Sanctorum,* " 
said I. 

The man in black looked at me, but made no 

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" And what say you to the Massacre of the 
Albigenses and the Vaudois, ^ whose bones lie 
scattered on the cold Alp/ or the Revocation of the 
Edict of Nantes." 

The man in black made no answer. 

" Go to," said I, " it is because the Church of 
England is not a persecuting church, that those 
whom you call the respectable part are leaving her ; 
it is because they can't do with the poor Dissenters 
what Simon de Montfort did with the Albigenses, 
and the cruel Piedmontese with the Vaudois, that 
they turn to bloody Eome ; the Pope will no doubt 
welcome them, for the Pope, do you see, being very 
much in want, will welcome . . . . " 

" Hollo ! " said the Radical, interfering, " what 
are you saying about the Pope ? I say, hurrah for 
the Pope ; I value no religion three halfpence, as I 
said before, but if I were to adopt any, it should be 
the Popish as it s called, because I conceives the 
Popish to be the grand enemy of the Church of 
England, of the beggarly aristocracy, and the 
boroughmonger system, so I won't hear the Pope 
abused while I am by. Come, don't look fierce. 
You won't fight, you know, I have proved it ; but I 

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will give you another chance — I will fight for the 
Pope, will you fight against him V 

" dear me, yes," said I, getting up and stepping 
forward. "I am a quiet peaceahle young man, 
and, heing so, am always ready to fight against the 
Pope— the enemy of all peace and quiet ; to refuse 
fighting for the aristocracy is a widely different 
.thing fiwm refusing to fight against the Pope ; so 
come on, if you are disposed to fight for him. To 
the Pope broken hells, to Saint James broken 
shells. No Popish vile oppression, but the Protest- 
ant succession. Confusion to the Groyne, hurrah 
for the Boyne, for the army at Clonmel, and the 
Protestant young gentlemen who live there as well." 

" An Orangeman," said the man in black. 

" Not a Pktitude," said I. 

The man in black gave a sUght start. 

" Amongst that family,'* said I, " no doubt, 
something may be done, but amongst the Methodist 
preachers I should conceive that the success would 
not be great.'* 

The man in black sat quite still. 

" Especially amongst those who have wives," I 

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262 GET UP. [Ch. XXI. 

The man in black stretched his hand towards 
his gin and water. 

" However," said I, " we shall see what the grand 
movement will bring about, and the results of the 
lessons in elocution." 

The man in black lifted the glass up to his 
mouth, and, in doing so, let the spoon fall. 

*' But what has this to do with the main ques- 
tion ?" said I ; '^ I am waiting here to fight against 
the Pope." 

" Come, Hunter," said the companion of the man 
ii^ the snuff-coloured coat, *^ get up, and fight for 
the Pope." 

" I don't care for the young fellow," said the man 
in the snuff-coloured coat. 

** I know you don't," said the other, " so get up, 
and serve him out" 

" I could serve out three like him," said the man 
in the snuff-coloured coat. 

" So much the better for you," said the other, 
" the present work wiU be all the easier for you, get 
up, and serve him out at once." 

The man in the snuff-coloured coat did not 

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" Who shows the white feather now ?" said the 
simple-looking man. 

'' He ! he ! he !" tittered the man in hlack. 

" Who told you to interfere ?" said the Badical* 
taming ferociously towards the simple-looking man; 
" say another word, and I '11 .... " ** And you !" 
said he, addressing himself to the man in black, 
"' a pretty fellow you to turn against me, after I 
had taken your part. I tell you what, you may 
fight for yourself. 1*11 see you and your Pope in 
the pit of Eldon, before I fight for either of you, 
so make the most of it." 

" Then you won t fight ?" said I, 

" Not for the Pope," said the Eadical ; "I 'U see 
the Pope . . . . " 

" Dear me !" said I, " not fight for the Pope, 
whose religion you would turn to, if you were in- 
clined for any. I see how it is, you are not fond of 
fighting; but I'll give you another chance — you 
were abusing the Church of England just now: I '11 
fight for it — will you fight against it ?" 

"Come, Hunter," said the other, "get up, and 
fight against the Church of England." 

'* I have no particular quarrel against the Church 

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of England," said the man in the sniiff-coloured 
coat, " my quarrel is with the aristocracy. If I said 
anything against the Church, it was merely for a 
bit of corollary, as Master William Cobbett would 
say; the quarrel with the Church belongs to this 
fellow in black; so let him carry it on. However," 
he continued suddenly, "I won't slink from the 
matter either; it shall never be said by the fine 
fellows on the quay of New York, that I wouldn't 
fight against the Church of England. So down 
with the beggarly aristocracy, the Church, and the 
Pope, to the bottom of the pit of Eldon, and may 
the Pope fall first, and the others upon him/' 

Thereupon, dashing his hat on the table, he placed 
himself in an attitude of ofience, and rushed for- 
ward. He was, as I have said before, a powerful 
fellow, and might have proved a dangerous an- 
tagonist, more especially to myself, who, after my 
recent encounter with the Flaming Tinman, and 
my wrestlings with the evil one, was in anything 
but fighting order. Any collision, however, was 
prevented by the landlord, who, suddenly appearing, 
thrust himself between us. " There shall be no 
fighting here/' said he, " no one shall fight in this 

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Ch. XXL] mumpers' DINGLE. 265 

house, except it be with myself; so if you two have 
anything to say to each other, you had better go 
into the field behind the house. But, you fool," 
said he, pushing Hunter violently on the breast, 
** do you know whom you are going to tackle with ? 
— this is the young chap that beat Blazing Bosville, 
only as late as yesterday, in Mumpers Dingle. 
Grey Moll told me all about it last night, when she 
came for some brandy for her husband, who, she 
said, had been half killed; and she described the 
young man to me so closely, that I knew him at 
once, that is, as soon as I saw how his left hand 
was bruised, for she told me he was a left-hand 
hitter." " Ar'n t it all true, young man? Ar n't you 
he that beat Flaming Bosville in Mumpers* Dingle ?" 
" I never beat Flaming Bosville," said I, " he beat 
himself. Had he not struck his hand against a 
tree, I shouldn't be here at the present moment." 
*' Hear ! hear !" said the landlord, ** now that's just 
as it should be ; I like a modest man, for, as the 
parson says, nothing sits better upon a young man 
than modesty. I remember, when I was young, 
fighting with Tom of Hopton, the best man that 
ever pulled off coat in England. I remember, too. 

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that I won the battle ; for I happened to hit Tom 
of Hopton in the mark, as he was coming in, so that 
he lost his wind, and falling squelch on the ground, 
do ye see, he lost the battle, though I am j&ree to con- 
fess that he was a better man than myself ; indeed, 
the best man that ever fought in England ; yet still 
I won the battle, as every customer of mine, and 
everybody within twelve miles round, has heard 
over and over again. Now, Mr. Hunter, I have 
one thing to say, if you choose to go into 
the field behind the house, and fight the young 
man, you can. 1*11 back him for ten pounds; 
but no fighting in my kitchen — because 
why? I keeps a decent kind of an establish- 
ment. '* 

"I have no wish to fight the young man," said 
Hunter; " more especially as he has nothing to say 
for the aristocracy. If he chose to fight for them, 
indeed — but he wont, I know; for I see he's a 
decent, respectable, young man; and, after all, 
fighting is a blackguard way of settling a dispute ; 
so I have no wish to fight ; however, there is 
one thing I'll do," said he, uplifting his fist, " I'll 
fight this fellow in black here for half-a-crown, or 

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for nothing, if he pleases ; it was he that got up 
the last dispute between me and the young man, 
with his Pope and his nonsense; so I will fight 
him for anything he pleases, and perhaps the young 
man will be my second; whilst you" .... 

" Come, Doctor," said the landlord, " or what- 
soever you be, will you go into the field with 
Hunter? I'll second you, only you must back 
yourself. I'll lay five pounds on Hunter, if you 
are incUned to back yourself; and wiU help you to 
win it as far, do you see, as a second can ; because 
why ? I always likes to do the fair thing." 

"Oh! I have no wish to fight," said the man in 
black, hastily ; " fighting is not my trade. If I 
have given any offence, I beg anybody's pardon." 

" Landlord," said I, *' what have I to pay ? " 

"Nothing at all," said the landlord; "glad to 
see you. This is the firgtf; time that you have been 
at my house, and I never charge new customers, 
at least customers such as you, anything for the 
first draught Tou '11 come again, I dare say ; shall 
always be glad to see you. I won't take it," said he, 
as I put sixpence on the table ; " I won't take it." 

" Tes, you shall," said I ; " but not in payment 

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258 A POOR PIPE. [Ch. XXI. 

for anything I have had myself: it shall serve to 
pay for a jug of ale for that gentleman/' said I, 
pointing to the simple-looking individual ; " he is 
smoking a poor pipe. I do not mean to say that 
a pipe is a had thing; hut a pipe without ale, do 
you see .... " 

"Bravo!" said the landlord, ''that's just the 
conduct I like." 

" Bravo !" said Hunter. " I shall he happy to 
drink with the young man whenever I meet him 
at New York, where, do you see, things are hetter 
managed than here." 

"If I have given offence to anybody," said the 
man in black, " I repeat that I ask pardon, — more 
especially to the young gentleman, who was per- 
fectly right to stand up for his religion, just as I — 
not that I am of any particular religion, no more 
than this honest gentjpman here," bowing to 
Hunter; "but I happen to know something of 
the Catholics — several excellent friends of mine 
are Catholics — and of a surety the Catholic religion 
is an ancient religion, and a widely- extended re- 
ligion, though it certainly is not a universal re- 
ligion, but it has of late made considerable pro- 

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gress, even amongst those nations who have been 
particularly opposed to it — amongst the Prussians 
and the Dutch, for example, to say nothing of the 
English ; and then, in the East, amongst the Per- 
sians, amongst the Armenians." 

" The Armenians," said I ; " O dear me, the 
Armenians . . . ." 

" Have you anything to say about those people, 
sir ? " said the man in black, lifting up his glass to 
his mouth. 

" I have nothing farther to say," said I, '* than 
that the roots of Ararat are occasionally found to 
be deeper than those of Rome." 

'* There's half-a-crown broke," said the landlord, 
as the man in black let fall the glass, which was 
broken to pieces on the floor. *' You will pay me 
the damage, friend, before you leave this kitchen. 
I like to see people drink freely in my kitchen, but 
not too freely, and I hate breakages; because why? 
I keeps a decent kind of an establishment." 

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The public-house where the scenes which I have 
attempted to describe in the preceding chapters took 
place^ was at the distance of about two miles from 
the dingle. The sun was sinking in the west by 
the time I returned to the latter ^ot. I found 
Belle seated by a fire, over which her kettle was 
suspended. During my absence she had prepared 
herself a kind of tent, consisting of large hoops 
covered over with tarpauling, quite impenetrable to 
rain, however violent. " I am glad you are re- 
turned," said she, as soon as she perceived me ; "I 
began to be anxious about you. Did you take my 

"Yes," said I; "I went to the public-house 
and drank ale, as you advised me ; it cheered. 

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Strengthened, and drove away the horror from my 
mind — I am much beholden to you." 

" I knew it would do you good/* said Belle ; ** I 
remembered that when the poor women in the 
great house were afflicted with hysterics, and fear- 
ful imaginings, the surgeon, who was a good kind 
man, used to say, 'Ale, give them ale, and let it 
be strong.* *' 

" He was no advocate for tea, then ? ** said I. 

**He had no objection to tea; but he used to 
say, 'Everything in its season.* Shall we take 
ours now — I have waited for you.'* 

" I have no objection," said I ; " I feel rather 
heated, and at present should prefer tea to ale — 
' Everything in its season,' as the surgeon said.'* 

Thereupon Belle prepared tea, and, as we were 
taking it, she said — " What did you see and hear 
at the public-house ? ** 

" Eeally,** said I, " you appear to have your ftdl 
portion of curiosity ; what matters it to you what I 
saw and heard at the public-house ? " 

" It matters very little to me,** said Belle ; " I 
merely inquired of you, for the sake of a little con- 
versation — ^you were silent, and it is uncomfortable 

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for two people to sit together without opening their 
lips — at least I think so." 

" One only feels uncomfortahle," said I, '' in 
being silent, when one happens to be thinking of 
the individual with whom one is in company. To 
tell you the truth, I was not thinking of my com- 
panion, but of certain company with whom I had 
been at the public-house." 

" Eeally, young man," said Belle, " you are not 
over complimentary ; but who may this wonderful 
company have been — some young ....?*' and 
here Belle stopped. 

*' No," said I, " there was no young person — if 
person you were going to say. There was a big 
portly landlord, whom I dare say you have seen ; 
a noisy savage Badical, who wanted at first to 
fasten upon me a quarrel about America, but who 
subsequently drew in his horns ; then there was a 
strange fellow, a prowling priest, I believe, whom I 
have frequently heard of, who at first seemed dis- 
posed to side with the Badical against me, and 
afterwards with me against the Badical. There, 
you know my company, and what took place.*' 

" Was there no one else ? " said Belle. 

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Ch. XXII.] AMERICA, 263 

" You are rtiighty curious," said I. " No, none 
else, except a poor simple mechanic, and some com- 
mon company, who soon went away/* 

Belle looked at me for a moment, and then 
appeared to be lost in thought — " America !" said 
she, musingly — *' America ! '* 

" What of America ?" said I. 

" I have heard that it is a mighty country." , 

" I dare say it is," said I ; " I have heard my 
father say that the Americans are first-rate marks- 

"I heard nothing about that," said Belle; " what 
I heard was, that it is a great and goodly land, . 
where people can walk about without jostling, and 
where the industrious can always find bread; I 
•have frequently thought of going thither." 

" Well," said I, " the Badical in the public-house 
will perhaps be glad of your company thither ; he 
is as great an admirer of America as yourself, 
though I believe on different grounds." 

" I shall go by myself," said Belle, "unless — un- 
less that should happen which is not likely — I am 
not fond of Badicals no more than I am of scoffers 
and mockers." 

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" Do you mean to say that I am a scoflfer and 
mocker ? " 

" I don't wish to say you are," said Belle ; " hut 
some of your words sound strangely like scoffing 
and mocking. I have now one thing to heg, which 
is, that if you have anything to say against America, 
you would speak it out holdly." 

" What should I have to say against America ? 
I never was there." 

" Many people speak against America who never 
were there." 

*' Many people speak in praise of America who 
never were there ; hut with respect to myself, I have 
not spoken for or against America." 

" If you liked America you would speak in its 

" By the same rule, if I disliked America I 
should speak against it" 

" I can't speak with you," said Belle ; " but I see 
you dislike the country." 

"The country!" 

" Well, the people— don t you ? " 

" I do." 

" Why do you dislike them ? " 

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''Why I have heard my father say that the 
American marksmen, led on by a ohap of the name 
of Washington, sent the English to the right-about 
in double-quick time." 

" And that is your reason for disliking the 
Americans ? " 

" Yes," said I, " that is my reason for disliking 

*' Will you take another cup of tea ?'* said Belle. 

I took another cup ; we were again silent '* It 
is rather uncomfortable," said I, at last, " for people 
to sit together without having anything to say." 

"Were you thinking of your company?" said 

" What company ?" said I. 

" The present company." 

" The present company I oh, ah — ^I remember 
that I said one only feels uncomfortable in being 
silent with a companion, when one happens to be 
thinking of the companion. Well, I had been 
thinking of you the last two or three minutes, 
and had just come to the conclusion, that to pre- 
vent us both feeling occasionally uncomfortably to- 
wards each other, having nothing to say, it would 


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be as well to have a standing subject, on which to 
employ our tongues. Belle, I have deteimined to 
give you lessons in Armenian." 

" What is Armenian ? 

" Did you ever hear of Ararat ? " 

" Yes, that was the place where the ark rested ; I 
have heard the chaplain in the great house talk of 
it ; besides, I have read of it in the Bible." 

" Well, Armenian is the speech of people of that 
place, and I should like to teach it you." 

" To prevent . . . . " 

"Ay, ay, to prevent our occasionally feeling 
uncomfortable together. Your acquiring it besides 
might prove of ulterior advantage to us both; for 
example, suppose you and I were in promiscuous 
company, at Court, for example, and you had some- 
thing to communicate to me which you did not 
wish any one else to be acquainted with, how safely 
you might communicate it to me in Armenian." 

"Would not the language of the roads do as 
well ? " said Belle. 

" In some places it would," said I, " but not at 
Court, owing to its resemblance to thieves' slang. 
There is Hebrew, again, which I was thinking of 

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teaching you, till the idea of being presented at Court 
made me abandon it, from the probability of our 
being understood, in the event of our speaking it, 
by at least half a dozen people in our vicinity. 
There is Latin, it is true, or Greek, which we might 
speak aloud at Court with perfect confidence of safety, 
but upon the whole I should prefer teaching you 
Armenian, not because it would be a safer language 
to hold communication with at Court, but because, 
not being very well grounded in it myself, I am 
apprehensive that its words and forms may escape 
from my recollection, unless I have sometimes 
occasion to call them forth." 

" I am afraid we shall have to part company be- 
fore I have learnt it," said Belle; "in the mean 
time, if I wish to say anything to you in private, 
somebody being by, shall I speak in the language 
of the roads ? " 

" If no roadster is nigh you may," said I, " and 
I will do my best to understand you. Belle, I will 
now give you a lesson in Armenian." 

" I suppose you mean no harm," said !6elle. 

"Not in the least; I merely propose the thing to 

N 2 

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prevent our occasionally feeling nncomfortable to- 
gether. Let us begin." 

" Stop till I have removed the tea things/' said 
Belle; and, getting up, she removed them to her 
own encampment. 

" I am ready," said Belle, returning, and taMng 
her former seat, "to join vrith you in anything 
which will serve to pass away the time agreeably, 
provided there is no harm in it." 

"Belle," said I, "I have determined to com- 
mence the course of Armenian lessons by teaching 
you the numerals ; but, before I do that, it will be 
as well to tell you that the Armenian language is 
called Haik." 

" I am sure that word will hang upon my me- 
mory," said Belle. 

" Why hang upon it ?" said I. 

" Because the old women in the great house used 
to call so the chimney-hook, on which they hung 
the kettle ; in like manner, on the hake of my 
memory I will hang your hake." 

" Good !" said I, "you will make an apt scholar; 
but mind that I did not say hake, but haik ; the 

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words are, however, very much alike ; and, as you 
observe, upon your hake you may hang my haik. 
We will now proceed to the numerals." 

" What are numerals ?" said Belle. 

'^ Numbers. I will say the Haikan numbers up 
to ten. There — have you heard them ?" 


" Well, try and repeat them." 

" I only remember number one," said Belle, " and 
that because it is me." 

^' I will repeat them again," said I, " and pay 
greater attention. Now, try again." 

" Me, j ergo, earache.' 

"I neither said jergo, nor earache. I said 
yergou and yerek. Belle, I am a&aid I shall 
have some difficulty with you as a scholar." 

Belle made no answer. Her eyes were turned in 
the direction of the winding path which led from 
the bottom of the hollow, where we were seated, to 
the plain above. " Gorgio shunella," she said, at 
length, in a low voice. 

" Pure Eommany," said I ; " where ?" I added, in 
a whisper. 

" Dovey odoi," said Belle, nodding with her 
head towards the path. 

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" I will soon see who it is/* said I ; and starting 
up, I rushed towards the pathway, intending to lay 
violent hands on any one I might find lurking in 
its windings. Before, however, I had reached its 
commencement, a man, somewhat above the middle 
height, advanced from it into the dingle, in whom I 
recognised the man in black whom I had seen in 
the public-house. 

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The man in black and myself stood opposite to 
each other for a minute or two in silence ; I will 
not say that we confronted each other that time, 
for the man in black, after a furtive glance, did 
not look me in the face, but kept his eyes fixed, 
apparently on the leaves of a bunch of ground nuts 
which were growing at my feet. At length, looking 
around the dingle, he exclaimed, " Buona sera, I 
hope I don't intrude." 

" You have as much right here," said I, " as I or 
my companion; but you had no right to stand 
listening to our conversation." 

"I was not listening," said the man, "I was 
hesitating whether to advance or retire ; and if I 
heard some of your conversation, the fault was not 

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" I do not see why you should have hesitated if 
your intentions were good/* said I. 

" I think the kind of place in which I found my- 
self might excuse some hesitation," said the man in 
black, looking around ; " moreover, from what I 
had seen of your demeanour at the public-house, I 
was rather apprehensive that the reception I might 
experience at your hands might be more rough 
than agreeable." 

"And what may have been your motive for 
coming to this place ?" said I. 

" Per far visita a sua signoria, ecco il motivo/* 

"Why do you speak to me in that gibberish," 
said I ; "do you think I understand it ?" 

" It is not Armenian," said the man in black ; 
" but it might serve, in a place like this, for the 
breathing of a little secret conmiunication, were any 
common roadster near at hand. It would not do 
at Court, it is true, being the language of singing 
women, and the like ; but we are not at Court — when 
we are, I can perhaps summon up a little indifferent 
Latin, if I have anything private to communicate to 
the learned Professor." 

And at the conclusion of this speech the man in 

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black lifted up his head, and^ for some moments, 
looked me in the face. The muscles of his own 
seemed to be slightly convulsed, and his mouth 
opened in a singular manner. 

" I see," said I, ^^ that for some time you were 
standing near me and my companion, in the mean 
act of listening." 

" Not at all," said the man in black ; " I heard 
from the steep bank above, that to which I have 
now alluded, whilst I was puzzling myself to find 
the path which leads to your retreat. I made, 
indeed, nearly the compass of the whole thicket 
before I found it." 

" And how did you know that I was here V I 

" The landlord of the public-house, with whom I 
had some conversation concerning you, informed me 
that he had no doubt I should find you ia this place, 
to which be gave me instructions not very clear. 
But, now I am here, I crave permission to remain a 
little time, in order that I may hold some commu- 
nion with you." 

" Well," said I, " since you «re conw, you are 
welcom^e ; please to step this way." 

N d 

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Thereupon I conducted the man in black to the 
fire-place, where Belle was standing, who had risen 
from her stool on my springing up to go in quest of 
the stranger. The man in black looked at her with 
evident curiosity, then making her rather a graceful 
bow, " Lovely virgin," said he, stretching out his 
hand, " allow me to salute your fingers." 

" I am not in the habit of shaking hands with 
strangers," said Belle. 

*' I did not presume to request to shake hands 
with you," said the man in black, " I merely wished 
to be permitted to salute with my lips the extremity 
of your two fore-fingers." 

" I never permit anything of the kind," said 
Belle, " I do not approve of such unmanly ways, 
they are only befitting those who lurk in comers or 
behind trees, listening to the conversation of people 
who would fain be private." 

" Do you take me for a listener then ? " said the 
man in black. 

" Ay, indeed I do," said Belle ; " the young 
man may receive your excuses, and put confidence 
in them if he please, but for my part I neither 
admit them, nor believe them;" and thereupon 

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flinging her long hair back, which was hanging 
over her cheeks, she seated herself on her stool. 

*' Come, Belle," said I, " I have bidden the 
gentleman welcome, " I beseech you, therefore, 
to make him welcome ; he is a stranger, where we 
are at home, therefore, even did we wish him away, 
we are bound to treat him kindly.'* 

" That 's not English doctrine," said the man in 

" I thought the English prided themselves on 
their hospitality," said I. 

" They do so," said the man in black ; " they are 
proud of showing hospitality to people above them, 
that is, to those who do not want it, but of the 
hospitality which you were now describing, and 
which is Arabian, they know nothing. No English- 
man will tolerate another in his house, from whom 
he does not expect advantage of some kind, and to 
those from whom he does, he can be civil enough. 
An Englishman thinks that, because he is in his 
own house, he has a right to be boorish and brutal 
to any one who is disagreeable to him, as all those 
are who are really in want of assistance. Should a 
hunted fugitive rush into an Englishman's house. 

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beseeching protecdon, and appealing to the master a 
feelings of hospitality, the Englishman would knock 
him down in the passage/' 

" You are too general," said I, " in your 
strictures. Lord . . ., the unpopuls^ Tory minister, 
was once chased through the streets of London by 
a mob, and, being in danger of his life, took shelter 
in the shop of a Whig linendraper, declaring his 
own unpopular name, and appealing to the linen- 
draper s feelings of hospitality; whereupon the linen- 
draper, utterly forgetful of all party rancour, nobly 
responded to the appeal, and telling his wife to 
conduct his lorddiip upstairs, jumped oyer the 
counter, with his dl in his hand, and placing him- 
self with half-a-dozen of his assistants at the door 
of his boutique, manfully confronted the mob, 
telling them that he would allow himself to be torn 
to a thousand pieces, ere he would permit them to 
injure a hair of his lordship s head : what do you 
think of that?" 

'^ He ! hel he !" tittered ibd man in black. 

" Well," said I, " I am afraid your own practice 
is not very different from that which you have been 
just now describing; you sided with the Badioal in 

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cilXXIII.] custom of the country. 277 

the publio-house against me^ as long as you thought 
him the most powerfdl> and then turned against 
him, when you saw he was cowed. What have you 
to say to that?" 

*' O ! when one is in Borne, I mean England, 
one must do as they do in England, I was merely 
conforming to the custom of the country, he! he ! 
but I beg your pardon here, as I did in the public- 
house. I made a mistake." 

" Well," said I, " we will drop the matter, but 
pray seat yourself on that stone, and I will sit 
down on the grass near you." 

The man in black, after proffering two or three 
excuses for occupying what he supposed to be my 
seat, sat down upon the stone, and I squatted down, 
gypsy fashion, just opposite to him. Belle sitting 
on her stool at a slight distance on my ri^t. 
After a time I addressed him thus : ^' Am I to 
reckon this a mere visit of ceremony ? should it 
prove so, it will be, I believe, the first visit of the 
kind ever paid me." 

'' Will you permit me to ask," said the man in 

black, '' the weather is very warm," said 

be, interrupting himself^ and taking off his hat. 

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I now observed that he was partly bald, his red 
hair having died away from the fore part of his 
crown — his forehead was high, his eyebrows scanty, 
his eyes grey and sly, with a downward tendency, 
his nose was slightly aquiline, his mouth rather 
large — a kind of sneering smile played continually 
on his lips, his complexion was somewhat rubi- 

''A bad countenance," said Belle, in the language 
of the roads, observing that my eyes were fixed on 
his face. 

"Does not my countenance please you, fair 
damsel ? " said the man in black, resuming his hat, 
and speaking in a peculiarly gentle voice, 

" How," said I, " do you understand the lan- 
guage of the roads ? " 

" As little as I do Armenian," said the man in 
black ; " but I understand look and tone." 

" So do I, perhaps," retorted Belle ; "and, to tell 
you the truth, I like your tone as little as your 

" For shame," said I ; " have you forgot what I 
was saying just now about the duties of hospitality ? 
You have not yet answered my question," said I, 

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addressing myself to the man, ''with respect to 
your visit." 

" Will you permit me to ask who you are ?" 

" Do you see the place where I live ? " said I. 

" I do," said the man in black, looking around. 

" Do you know the name of this place ? " 

" I was told it was Mumpers' or Gypsies' Dingle," 
said the man in black. 

" Good," said I ; " and this forge and tent, what 
do they look like ? " 

" Like the forge and tent of a wandering Zigan ; 
I have seen the like in Italy." 

"Good," said I ; " they belong to me." 

" Are you, then, a Gypsy ? " said the man in 

" What else should I be ?" 

"But you seem to have been acquainted with 
various individuals with whom I have likewise had 
acquaintance ; and you have even alluded to mat- 
ters, and even words, which have passed between 
me and them." 

" Do you know how Gypsies live ? " said I. 

' " By hammering old iron, I believe, and telling 

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"Well/* said I, " tliere's my forge, and yonder is 
some iron, though not old, and by your own con- 
fession I am a soothsayer/' 

" But how did you come by your knowledge?" 

" O," said I, " if you want me to reveal the se- 
crets of my trade, I have, of course, nothing farther 
to say. Go to the scarlet dyer, and ask him how he 
dyes cloth.** 

" Why scarlet ? *' said the man in black. " Is it 
because Gypsies blush like scarlet ? ** 

"Gypsies never blush,*' said I; "but Gypsies' 
cloaks are scarlet.** 

" I should almost take you for a Gypsy,*' said the 
man in black, " but for . . . .'* 

"For what?'* said I. 

"But for that same lesson in Armenian, and 
your general knowledge of languages ; as for your 
manners and appearance I will say notjiing,** said 
the man in black, with a titter. 

" And why should not a Gypsy possess a know- 
ledge of languages ?** said I. 

" Because the Gypsy race is perfectly illiterate,*' 
said the man in black ; " they are possessed, it is 
true, of a knavish acuteness, and are particularly 

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noted for giving subtle and evasive answers — and 
in your answers, I confess, you remind me of them ; . 
but that one of the race should acquire a learned 
language like the Armenian, and have a general 
knowledge of literature, is a thing che io non credo 

" What do you take me for ? " said I. ^ 

" Why," said the man in black, " I should con- 
sider you to be a philologist, who, for some pur- 
pose, has taken up a Gypsy life; but I confess to 
you that your way of answering questions is fiar too 
acute for a philologist." 

" And why should not a philologist be able to 
answer questions acutely ? " said I. 

"Because the philological race is the most stupid 
under Heaven," said the man in black ; " they are 
possessed, it is true, of a certain faculty for picking 
up words, and a memory for retaining them; but that 
any one of the sect should be able to give a rational 
answer, to say nothing of an acute one, on any sub- 
ject — even though the subject were philology — is a 
thing of which I have no idea." 

" But you found me giving a lesson in Armenian 
to this handmaid ? " 

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" I believe I did," said the man in black. 

" And you heard me give what you are disposed 
to call acute answers to the questions you asked 

" I believe I did," said the man in black. 

" And would any one but a philologist think of 
giving a lesson in Armenian to a handmaid in a 
dingle ? " 

" I should think not," said the man in black. 

^* Well, then, don't you see that it is possible for 
a philologist to give not only a rational, but an 
acute answer ? " 

" I really don't know," said the man in black. 

'' What's the matter with you ? " said I. 

" Merely puzzled," said the man in black. 



"Eeally puzzled?" 


" Eemain so." 

"Well," said the man in black, rising, "puzzled 
or not, I will no longer trespass upon your and 
this young lady's retirement ; only allow me, before 
I go, to apologize for my intrusion." 

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"No apology is necessary," said I; "will you 
please to take anything before you go ? I think 
this young lady, at my request, would contrive to 
make you a cup of tea." 

"Tea!" said the man in black; "he! he! I 
don't drink tea; I don t like it — if, indeed, you 
had," and here he stopped. 

"There's nothing like gin and water, is there?" 
said I, " but I am sorry to say I have none." 

" Gin and water," said the man in black, " how 
do you know that I am fond of gin and water ? " 

" Did I not see you drinking some at the public- 
house ? " 

" You did," said the man in black, " and I remem- 
ber that, when I called for some, you repeated my 
words — ^permit me to ask, is gin and water an un- 
usual drink in England ? " 

" It is not usually drunk cold, and with a lump 
of sugar," said I. 

" And did you know who I was by my calling for 
it so?" 

" Gypsies have various ways of obtaining infor- 
mation," said I. 

"With all your knowledge," said the man in 

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284 ADDIO. [Ch. XXIII. 

black, " you do not appear to have known tiiat I 
was coming to visit you ? " 

" Gypsies do not pretend to know anything 
which relates to themselves," said I ; " but I advise 
you, if you ever come again, to come openly." 

" Have I your permission to come again ? " said 
the man in black. 

^' Come when you please ; this dingle is as free 
for you as me." 

" I will visit you again," said the man in black — 
'^ till then, addio." 

" Belle," said I, after the man in black had de- 
parted, " we did not treat that man very hospitably ; 
he left us without having eaten or drunk at our 

'• Tou offered him some tea," said Belle, " which, 
as it is mine, I should have grudged him, for I like 
him not." 

*' Our liking or disliking biTn had nothing to do 
with the matter, he was our visitor and ought not to 
have been permitted to depart dry ; Uving as we do 
in this desert, we ought always to be prepared to 
administer to the wants of our visitors. Belle, do 
you know where to procure any good Hollands ? " 

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"I think I do," said Belle, "but ... . " 
"I will have no huts. Belle, I expect that with 
as little delay as possible you procure, at my 
expense, the best Hollands you can find." 

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Time passed on, and Belle and I lived in the 
dingle; when I say lived, the reader must not 
imagine that we were always there. She went out 
upon her pursuits, and I went out where inclination 
led me ; but my excursions were very short ones, 
and hers occasionally occupied whole days and 
nights. If I am asked how we passed the time 
when we were together in the dingle, I would 
answer that we passed the time very tolerably, 
all things considered ; we conversed together, 
and when tired of conversing I would some- 
times give Belle a lesson in Armenian; her pro- 
gress was not particularly brilliant, but upon the 
whole satisfactory; in about a fortnight she had 
hung up one hundred Haikan numerals upon the 
hake of her memory. I found her conversation 

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highly entertaining; she had seen much of England 
and Wales, and had been acquainted with some 
of the most remarkable characters who travelled 
the roads at that period ; and let me be permitted 
to say that many remarkable characters have 
travelled the roads of England, of whom fame has 
never said a word. I loved to hear her anecdotes 
of these people ; some of whom I found had occa- 
sionally attempted to lay violent hands either upon 
her person or effects, and had invariably been 
humbled by her without the assistance of either 
justice or constable. I could clearly see, however, 
that she was rather tired of England, and wished 
for a change of scene ; she was particularly fond of 
talking of America, to which country her aspira- 
tions chiefly tended. She had heard much of 
America, which had excited her imagination; for 
at that time America was much talked of, on roads 
and in homesteads — at least, so said Belle, who had 
good opportunities of knowing — and most people 
allowed that it was a good country for adventurous 
English. The people who chiefly spoke against it, 
as she informed me, were soldiers disbanded upon 
pensions, the sextons of village churches, and ex- 

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cisemen. Belle had a craving desire to visit that 
coimtry, and to wander with cart and little animal 
amongst its forests: when I would occasionally ob- 
ject, that she would be exposed to danger from 
strange and perverse customers, she said that she 
had not wandered the roads of England so long and 
alone, to be afraid of anything which might befall 
in America ; and that she hoped, with God's favour, 
to be able to take her own part, and to give to per- 
verse customers as good as they might bring. She 
had a dauntless heart, that same Belle. Such was 
the staple of Belle's conversation. As for mine, I 
would endeavour to entertain her with strange 
dreams of adventure, in which I figured in opaque 
forests, strangling wild beasts, or discovering and 
plundering the hoards of dragons ; and sometimes 
I would narrate to her other things far more 
genuine — how I had tamed savage mares, wrestled 
with Satan, and had dealings with ferocious pub- 
lishers. Belle had a kind heart, and would weep at 
the accounts I gave her of my early wrestlings with 
the dark Monarch. She would sigh, too, as I re- 
counted the many slights and degradations I had 
received at the hands of ferocious publishers ; but 

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she had the curiosity of a woman; and once, when 
I talked to her of the triumphs which I had achieved 
over unbroken mares, she lifted up her head and 
questioned me as to the secret of the virtue which 
I possessed over the aforesaid animals ; whereupon 
I sternly reprimanded, and forthwith commanded 
her to repeat the Armenian numerals ; and, on her 
demurring, I made use of words, to escape which 
she was glad to comply, saying the Armenian nu- 
merals from one to a hundred, which numerals, as a 
punishment for her curiosity, I made her repeat 
three times, loading her with the bitterest reproaches 
whenever she committed the slightest error, either in 
accent or pronunciation, which reproaches she 
appeared to bear with the greatest patience. And 
now I have given a very fair account of the manner 
in which Isopel' Bemers and myself passed our 
time in the dingle. 


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Amongst other excursions, I went several times 
to the public-house to .which I introduced the 
reader in a former chapter. I had experienced 
such beneficial efifects from the ale I had drunk on 
that occasion, that I wished to put its virtue to a 
frequent test ; nor did the ale on subsequent trials 
beUe the good opinion which I had at first formed 
of it. After each visit which I made to the public- 
house, I found my frame stronger, and my mind 
more cheerftil than they had previously been. The 
landlord appeared at all times glad to see me, and 
insisted that I should sit within the bar, where, 
leaving his other guests to be attended to by a 
niece of his, who officiated as his housekeeper, he 
would sit beside me and talk of matters concerning 

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" the ring," indulging himself with a cigar and a 
glass of sherry, which he told me was his favourite 
wine, whilst I drank my ale. "I loves the con- 
versation of all you coves of the ring," said he once, 
** which is natural, seeing as how I have fought in 
a ring myself. Ah, there is nothing like the ring ; 
I wish I was not rather too old to go again into it. 
I often think I should like to have another rally — 
. one more rally, and then — hut there 's a time for 
all things — youth will be served, every dog has his 
day, and mine has been a fine one — let me be con- 
tent. After beating Tom of Hopton, there was 
not much more to be done in the way of reputa- 
tion ; I have long sat in my bar the wonder and 
glory of this here neighbourhood. I'm content, 
as far as reputation goes ; I only wish money would 
come in a little faster; however, the next main of 
cocks will bring me in something handsome — 
comes off next Wednesday, at ... . have ven- 
tured ten five pound notes — shouldn't say ven- 
tured either — run no risk at aii, because why ? I 
knows my birds." About ten days after this harangue 
I called again, at about three o'clock one afternoon. 
The landlord was seated on a bench by a table in the 

o 2 

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common room, which was entirely empty ; he was 
neither smoking nor drinking, but sat with his arms 
folded, and his head hanging down over his breast. 
At the sound of my step he looked up ; " Ah," said 
he, " I am glad you are come, I was just thinking 
about you." " Thank you," said I ; "it was very 
kind of you, especially at a time like this, when 
your mind must be full of your good fortune. 
Allow me to congratulate you on the sums of money 
you won by the main of cocks at . . . I hope you 
brought it aU safe home." " Safe home 1" said the 
landlord ; " I brought myself safe home, and that 
was all ; came home without a shilling, regularly 
done, cleaned out." " I am sorry for that," said I ; 
*' but after you had won the money, you ought to 
have been satisfied, and not risked it again — how 
did you lose it? I hope not by the pea and 
thimble." ** Pea and thimble," said the landlord — 
" not I; those confounded cocks left me nothing to 
lose by the pea and thimble." " Dear me," said I ; 
"I thought that you knew your birds." "Well, 
so I did," said the landlord ; " I knew the birds to 
be good birds, and so they proved, and would have 
won if better birds had not been brought against 

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Ch. XXy.] REPUTATION. 293 

them, of which I knew notliiiig, and so do you see 
I am done, regularly done." " Well," said I, " don t 
be cast down ; there is one thing of which the cocks 
by their misfortune cannot deprive you — your re- 
putation ; make the most of that, give up cock- 
fighting, and be content with the custom of your 
house, of which you will always have plenty, as 
long as you are the wonder and glory of the neigh- 

The landlord struck the table before him vio- 
lently with his fist. " Confound my reputation ! " 
said he. " No reputation that I have will be 
satisfaction to my brewer for the seventy pounds 
I owe him. Eeputation won't pass for the cur- 
rent coin of this here realm ; and let me tell you, 
that if it a n't backed by some of it, it a n't a bit 
better than rotten cabbage, as I have found. 
Only three weeks since I was, as I told you, 
the wonder and glory of the neighbourhood ; and 
people used to come to look at me, and worship 
me ; but as soon as it began to be whispered about 
that I owed money to the brewer, they presently left 
off all that kind of thing ; and now, during the last 
three days, since the tale of my misfortune with the 

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cocks has got wind, almost everybody has left ofiF 
coming to the house, and the few who does, merely 
comes to insult and flout me. It was only last night 
that fellow. Hunter, called me an old fool in my own 
kitchen here. He wouldn't have called me a fool a 
fortnight ago ; 't was I called him fool then, and last 
night he called me old fool ; what do you think of 
that ? — the man that beat Tom of Hopton, to be 
called, not only a fool, but an old fool; and I 
hadn't heart, with one blow of this here fist into 
his face, to send his head ringing against the wall ; 
for when a man's pocket is low, do you see, his 
heart a n't much higher ; but it is of no use talking, 
something must be done. I was thinking of you 
just as you came in, for you are just the person 
that can help me." 

" If you mean," said I, " to ask me to lend you 
the money which you want, it will be to no purpose, 
as I have very little of my own, just enough for 
my own occasions ; it is true, if you desired it, I 
would be your intercessor with the person to whom 
you owe the money, though I should hardly ima- 
gine that anything I could say — " " Tou are right 
there," said the landlord ; " much the brewer would 

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Ch. XXV.] LIQUIDS. 29.5 

care for anything you could say on my behalf — 
your going would he the very way to do me up 
entu^ly. A pretty opinion he would have of the 
state of my affairs if I were to send him such a 
'cessor as you ; and as for your lending me money, 
don* t think I was ever fool enough to suppose either 
that you had any, or if you had that you would he 
fool enough to lend me any. No, no, the coves of 
the ring knows better; I have been in the ring my- 
self, and knows what a fighting cove is, and though 
I was fool enough to back those birds, I was never 
quite fool enough to lend anybody money. What 
I am about to propose is something very different 
from going to my landlord, or lending any capital ; 
something which, though it will put money into my 
pocket, will likewise put something handsome into 
your own. I want to get up a fight in this here 
neighbourhood, which would be sure to bring plenty 
of people to my house, for a week before and after 
it takes place; and as people cant come without 
drinking, I think I could, during one fortnight, get 
off for the brewer all the sour and unsaleable liquids 
he now has, which people would'nt drink at any 
other time, and by that means, do you see, liquidate 
my debt; then, by means of betting, making first 

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all right, do you see, I have no doubt that I could 
put something handsome into my pocket and yours, 
for I should wish you to be the fighting man, as I 
think I can depend upon you." " Tou really must 
excuse me," said I, " I have no wish to figure as a 
pugilist; besides, there is such a difference in our 
ages ; you may be the stronger man of the two, and 
perhaps the hardest hitter, but I am in much better 
condition, am more active on my legs, so that I am 
almost sure I should have the advantage, for, as you 
very properly observed, * Youth will be served/" 
" Oh, I did nt mean to fight," said the landlord, 
" I think I could beat you if I were to train a 
little ; but in the fight I propose I looks more to 
the main chance than anything else. I question 
whether half so many people could be brought to- 
gether if you were to fight with me as the person 
I have in view, or whether there would be half 
such opportunities for betting, for I am a man, do 
you see ; the person I wants you to fight with is 
not a man, but the young woman you keeps com- 
pany with." 

" The young woman I keep company with," said 
I* " pray what do you mean ? " 

" We will go into the bar, and have something," 

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said the landlord^ getting up. " My niece is out, 
and there is no one in the house, so we can talk the 
matter over quiedy." Thereupon I followed him 
into the bar, where, haying drawn me a jug of ale, 
helped himself as usual to a glass of sherry, and 
lighted a cigar, he proceeded to explain himself 
farther. " What I wants, is to get up a fight be- 
tween a man and a woman; there never has yet 
been such a thing in the ring, and the mere noise 
of the matter would bring thousands of people 
together, quite enough to drink out, for the thing 
should be close to my house, all the brewer's stock 
of liquids, both good and bad." "But," said I, " you 
were the other day boasting of the respectability of 
your house ; do you thiuk that a fight between a 
man and a woman close to your establishment 
would add to its respectability ?" " Confound the 
respectability of my house," said the landlord ; " will 
the respectability of my house pay the brewer^ or 
keep the roof over my head ? No, no ! when respec* 
tability won t keep a man, do you see, the best 
thing is to let it go and wander. Only let me have 
my own way, and both the brewer, myself, and every 
one of us, will be satisfied. And then the betting-— 

o 3 

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what a deal we may make by the betting — and that 
we shall have all to ourselves, you, I, and the young 
woman ; the brewer will have no hand in that. I 
can manage to raise ten pounds, and if by flashing 
that about I don't manage to make a hundred^ call 
me horse." " But, suppose," said I, " the party 
should lose, on whom you sport your money, even 
as the birds did ?" " We must first make all right," 
said the landlord, " as I told you before ; the birds 
were irrational beings, and therefore couldn't come 
to an understanding with the others, as you and the 
young woman can. The birds fought fair; but I 
intend that you and the young woman should fight 
cross." " What do you mean by cross ?" said I. 
'* Come, come," said the landlord, '* don't attempt to 
gammon me ; you in the ring, and pretend not to 
know what fighting cross is ! That won t do, my 
fine fellow ; but as no one is near us, I will speak 
out. I intend that you and the young woman 
should understand one another, and agree before- 
hand which should be beat ; and if you take my 
advice, you will determine between you that t;he 
young woman shall be beat, as I am sure that the 
odds will run high upon her, her character as a 

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fist-woman being spread far and wide, so that all 
the flats who think it will be all right will back 
her, as I myself would, if I thought it would be a 
fair thing." " Then," said I, " you would not have 
us fight fair ?" " By no means," said the landlord, 
** because why ? — I conceives that a cross is a 
certainty to those who are in it, whereas by the fair 
thing one may lose all he has." "But," said I, 
" you said the other day, that you liked the fair 
thing." " That was by way of gammon," said the 
landlord; "just, do you see, as a Parliament cove 
might say, speechifying from a barrel to a set of 
flats, whom he means to sell. Come, what do you 
think of the plan ?" 

" It is a very ingenious one," said I. 

" A n't it ?" said the landlord. "The folks in this 
neighbourhood are beginning to call me old fool ; 
but if they don't call me something else, when they 
sees me friends with the brewer, and money in my 
pocket, my name is not Catchpole. Come, drink 
your ale, and go home to the young gentlewoman." 

"I am going," said I, rising from my seat, 
after finishing the remainder of the ale. 

" Do you think she '11 have any objection ?" said 
the landlord. 

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800 MY BREWER. [Ch. XXV. 

" To do what ?" said I. 

" Why, to fight cross." 

^^ Yes, I do," said I. 

" But you will do your best to persuade her ?" 

"No, I will not," said I. 

" Are you fool enough to wish to fight fair ?" 

" No/' said I, "I am wise enough to wish not to 
fight at ^." 

"And how s my brewer to be paid?" said the 

" I really don't know," said I. 

" I '11 change my religion," said the landlord. 

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One evening Belle and myself received another 
visit from the man in black. After a little conver- 
sation of not much importance, I asked him 
whether he would not take some refreshment, as- 
suring him that I was now in possession of some 
very excellent Hollands, which, with a glass, a jug 
of water, and a lump of sugar, were heartily at 
his service ; he accepted my oflFer, and Belle going 
with a jug to the spring, from which she was in the 
habit of procuring water for tea, speedily returned 
with it ftill of the clear, delicious water of which I 
have already spoken. Having placed the jug by the 
side of the man in black, she brought him a glass 
and spoon, and a tea-cup, the latter containing 
various lumps of snowy-white sugar : in the mean 

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time I had produced a bottle of the stronger liquid. 
The man in black helped himself to some water, and 
likewise to some Hollands, the proportion of water 
being about two-thirds; then adding a lump of 
sugar, he stirred the whole up, tasted it, and said 
that it was good. 

"This is one of the good things of life," he 
added, after a short pause. 

" What are the others ? " I demanded. 

" There is Malvoisia sack," said the man in 
black, " and partridge, and beccafico." 

*' And what do you say to high mass ? " said I. 

" High mass ! " said the man in black ; " how- 
ever," he continued, after a pause, " I will be frank 
with you ; I came to be so ; I may have heard high 
mass on a time, and said it too; but as for any 
predilection for it, I assure you I have no more 
than for a long High Church sermon." 

" You speak a la Margutte," said I. 

" Margutte ! " said the man in black, musingly, 

You have read Pulci, I suppose ? " said I. 

" Yes, yes," said the man in black, laughing; " I 

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"He might be rendered into English/' said I, 
" something in this style : — 

" * To which Margutte answered with a sneer, 
I like the bine no better than the bktck. 
My faith consists alone in saToury cheer. 
In roasted capons, and in potent sack ; 
Bnt aboTe all, in famous gin and clear. 
Which often lays the Briton on his back. 
With lump of sugar, and with lympth fipom well, 
I drink it, and defy the fiends of hell.' '* 

" He ! he ! he ! " said the man in black ; '' that 
is more than Mezzofante could have done for a 
stanza of Byron." 

** A clever man," said I. 

" Who ? '* said the man in black 

" Mezzofante di Bologna." 

** He ! he ! he ! " said the man in black ; "now I 
know that you are not a Gypsy, at least a sooth- 
sayer ; no soothsayer would have said that . . . . " 

" Why," said I, " does he not understand five- 
and-twenty tongues ? " 

" yes," said the man in black ; " and five-and- 
twenty added to them ; but, he ! he ! he ! it was prin- 
cipally from him, who is certainly the greatest of 
Philologists, that I formed my opinion of the sect." 

'* You ought to speak of him with more respect," 

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304 napoleon's estimate. [Ch. XXVI. 

said I ; " I have heard say that he has done good 
service to your See." 

" 0, yes," said the man in black; " he has done 
good service to our See, that is, in his way ; when 
the neophytes of the propaganda are to be exa- 
mined in the several tongues in which they are des- 
tined to preach, he is appointed to question them, 
the questions being first written down for him, or 
else, he ! he ! he ! — Of course you know Napoleon s 
estimate of Mezzofante; he sent for the linguist 
from motives of curiosity, and after some discourse 
with him, told him that he might depart ; then turn- 
ing to some of his generals, he observed, *Nous 
avons eu ici un exemple qu* un homme pent avoir 
beaucoup de paroles avec bien peu d'esprit.* " 

"Ton are ungrateful to him," said I; ''well, 
perhaps, when he is dead and gone you will do him 

"True," said the man in black; "when he is 
dead and gone, we intend to erect him a statue of 
wood, on the left-hand side of the door of the 
Vatican library." 

"Of wood? "said I. 

" He was the son of a carpenter, you know," 

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said the man in black ; the figure will be of wood, 
for no other reason^ I assure you ; he ! he ! " 

" You should place another statue on the right." 

" Perhaps we shall," said the man in black ; 
'' but we know of no one amongst the philologists 
of Italy, nor, indeed, of the other countries in- 
habited by the faithful, worthy to sit parallel in 
eflBgy with our illustrissimo ; when, indeed, we 
have conquered these regions of the perfidious by 
bringing the inhabitants thereof to the true faith, 
I have no doubt that we shall be able to select 
one worthy to bear him company — one whose 
statue shall be placed on the right hand of the 
library, in testimony of our joy at his conversion ; 
for, as you know, ' There is more joy,* &c." 

"Wood?" said I. 

" I hope not," said the man in black ; " no, 
if I be consulted as to the material for the statue, 
I should strongly recommend bronze." 

And when the man in black had said this, he 
emptied his second tumbler of its contents, and 
prepared himself another. 

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'* So you hope to bring these regions again beneath 
the banner of the Eoman See ? " said I ; after the 
man in black had prepared the beverage, and tasted 

" Hope !" said the man in black ; '* how can we 
fail ? Is not the Church of these regions going to 
lose its prerogative ? " 

"Its prerogative?" 

" Yes ; those who should be the guardians of the 
religion of England are about to grant Papists 
emancipation, and to remove the disabilities from 
Dissenters, which will allow the Holy Father to play 
his own game in England." 

On my inquiring how the Holy Father intended to 
play his game, the man in black gave me to under- 

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stand that he intended for the present to cover the 
land with temples,, in which the religion of Pro- 
testants would he continually scoffed at and reviled. 

On my observing that such behaviour would sa- 
vour strongly of ingratitude, the man in black gave 
me to understand that if I entertained the idea that 
the See of Rome was ever influenced in its actions 
by any feeling of gratitude I was much mistaken, as- 
suring me that if the See of Bome in any encounter 
should chance to be disarmed and its adversary, from 
a feeling of magnanimity, should restore the sword 
which had been knocked out of its hand, the See 
of Rome always endeavoured on the first opportunity 
to plunge the said sword into its adversary's bosom ; 
conduct which the man in black seemed to think 
was very wise, and which he assured me had already 
enabled it to get rid of a great many troublesome 
adversaries, and would, he had no doubt, enable it 
to get rid of a great many more. 

On my attempting to argue against the propriety 
of such behaviour, the man in black cut the matter 
short, by saying, that if one party was a fool he saw 
no reason why the other should imitate it in its folly. 

After musing a little while, I told him that eman- 

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cipation had not yet passed through the legislature, 
and that perhaps it never would ;.reminding him that 
there was often many a slip between the cup and the 
lip ; to which observation the man in black agreed, 
assuring me, however, that there was no doubt that 
emancipation would be carried, inasmuch as there 
was a very loud cry at present in the land — a cry of 
** tolerance," which had almost frightened the Go- 
vernment out of its wits ; who, to get rid of the cry, 
was going to grant all that was asked in the way of 
toleration, instead of telling the people to " Hold 
their nonsense," and cutting them down, provided 
they continued bawling longer. 

I questioned the man in black with respect to the 
origin of this cry ; but he said, to trace it to its 
origin would require a long history ; that, at any 
rate, such a cry was in existence, the chief raisers 
of it being certain of the nobility, called Whigs, 
who hoped by means of it to get into power, and to 
turn out certain ancient adversaries of theirs called 
Tories, who were for letting things remain in statu 
quo ; that these Whigs were backed by aparty amongst 
the people called Radicals, a specimen of whom I 
had seen in the public-house ; a set of fellows who 

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were always in the habit of bawling against those 
in place; " and so," he added, " by means of these 
parties, and the hubbub which the Papists and 
other smaller sects are making, a general eman- 
cipation will be carried, and the Church of Eng- 
land humbled, which is the principal thing which 
the See of Bome cares for." 

On my telling the man in black that I believed 
that, even among the high dignitaries of the English 
Church, there were many who wished to grant perfect 
freedom to religions of all descriptions, he said, 
he was aware that such was the fact, and that 
such a wish was anything but wise, inasmuch as, if 
they had any regard for the religion they professed, 
they ought to stand by it through thick and thin, 
proclaiming it to be the only true one, and de- 
nouncing all others, in an alliterative style, as dan- 
gerous and damnable; whereas, by their present 
conduct, they were bringing their religion into con- 
tempt witn the people at large, who would never 
continue long attached to a Church, the ministers of 
which did not stand up for it, and likewise cause their 
own brethren, who had a clearer notion of things, to 
be ashamed of belonging to it. "I speak, advisedly," 
said he, in continuation, ** there is one Platitude." 

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" And I hope there is only one," said I ; " you 
surely would not adduce the likes and dislikes of 
that poor silly fellow as the criterions of the opinions 
of any party?" 

** You know him/' said the man in black, '' nay, 
I heard you mention him in the public-house; the 
fellow is not very wise, I admit, but he has sense 
enough to know, that unless a Church can make 
people hold their tongues when it thinks fit, it is 
scarcely deserving the name of a Church; no, I 
think that the fellow is not such a very bad stick, 
and that upon the whole he is, or rather was, an 
advantageous specimen of the High Church Eng- 
lish clergy, who, for the most part, so far from 
troubling their heads about persecuting people, only 
think of securing their tithes, eating their heavy 
dinners, puffing out their cheeks with importance 
on country justice benches, and occasionally ex- 
hibiting their conceited wives, hoyden daughters, 
and gawky sons at country balls, whereas Plati- 
tude . . . ." 

" Stop," said I, " you said in the public-house 
that the Church of England was a persecuting 
Church, and here in the dingle you have confessed 
that one section of it is willing to grant perfect 

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freedom to the exercise of all religions, and the 
other only thinks of leading an easy life." 

" Saying a thing in the puhlic-house is a widely 
different thing from saying it in the dingle," said 
the man in black ; " had the Church of England 
been a persecuting Church, it would not stand in 
the position in which it stands at present; it 
might, with its opportunities, have spread itself 
over the greater part of the world. I was about 
to observe that, instead of practising the indolent 
habits of his High Church brethren, Platitude 
would be working for his money, preaching the 
proper use of fire and faggot, or rather of the 
halter and the whipping-post, encouraging mobs to 
attack the houses of Dissenters, employing spies to 
collect the scandal of neighbourhoods, in order 
that he might use it for sacerdotal purposes, and, in 
. fact, endeavouring to turn an English parish into 
something like a Jesuit benefice in the south of 
France. " 

" He tried that game," said I, " and the parish 
said *Pooh, pooh,' and, for the most part, went 
over to the Dissenters." 

'* Very true," said the man in black, taking a sip 
at his glass, " but why were the Dissenters allowed 

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to preach ? why were they not beaten on the lips 
till they spat out blood, with a dislodged tooth or 
two ? Why, but because the authority of the 
Church of England has, by its own fault, become 
so circumscribed, that Mr. Platitude was not 
able to send a host of beadles and sbirri to 
their chapel to bring them to reason, on which 
account Mr. Platitude is very properly ashamed of 
his Church, and is thinking of uniting himself with 
one which possesses more vigour and authority." 

** It may have vigour and authority," said 
I, "in foreign lands, but in these kingdoms the 
day for practising its atrocities is gone by. It is 
at present almost below contempt, and is obliged to 
sue for grace in forma pauperis." 

" Very true," said the man in black ; " but let it 
once obtain emancipation, and it will cast its slough, 
put on its fine clothes, and make converts by thou- 
sands. * What a fine Church !* they '11 say; *with what 
authority it speaks ! no doubts, no hesitation, no 
sticking at trifles. What a contrast to the sleepy 
Enghsh Church !* They'll go over to it by millions, 
till it preponderates here over every other, when it 
will of course be voted the dominant one; ond 
then — and then " and here the man in 

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black drank a considerable quantity of gin and 

"What then? "said I. 

" What then ? " said the man in black, " why she 
will be true to herself. Let Dissenters, whether 
they be Church of England, as perhaps they may 
still call themselves, Methodist, or Presbyterian, 
presume to grumble, and there shall be bruising of 
lips in pulpits, tying up to whipping-posts, cutting 
off ears and noses — he! he! the farce of King 
Log has been acted long enough; the time for 
Queen Stork's tragedy is drawing nigh ; " and the 
man in black sipped his gin and water in a very 
exulting manner. 

"And this is the Church which, according to 
your assertion in the public-house, never per- 
secutes ? " 

" I have already given you an answer," said the 
man in black. " With respect to the matter of the 
public-house, it is one of the happy privileges of 
those who belong to my Church to deny in the 
public-house what they admit in the dingle; we 
have high warranty for such double speaking. Did 
not the foundation stone of our Church, Saint 


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Peter, deny in the public-house what he had pre- 
viously professed in the valley ? *' 

" And do you think," said I, " that the people of 
England, who have shown aversion to anything in 
the shape of intolerance, will permit such barbari- 
ties as you have described ? " 

"Let them become Papists," said the man in 
black ; " only let the majority become Papists, and 
you will see/* 

" They will never become so," said I ; " the good 
sense of the people of England will never permit 
them to commit such an absurdity.** 

" The good sense of the people of England ! " 
said the man in black, filling himself another 

" Yes,** said I, " the good sense of not only the 
upper, but the middle and lower classes.'* 

''And of what description of people are the 
upper class?*' said the man in black, putting a 
lump of sugar into his gin and water. 

"Very fine people," said I, "monstrously fine 
people; so, at least, they are generally believed 
to be." 

" He ! he ! " said the man in black ; " only those 

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think them so who don't know them. The male 
part of the upper class are in youth a set of heart- 
less profligates ; in old age, a parcel of poor, shak- 
ing, nervous paillards. The female part, worthy to 
he the sisters and wives of such wretches — unmar- 
ried, full of cold vice, kept under hy vanity and 
amhition, but which, after marriage, they seek not 
to restrain ; in old age, abandoned to vapours and 
horrors ; do you think that such beings will afford 
any obstacle to the progress of the Church in 
these regions, as soon as her movements are un- 

'* I cannot give an opinion ; I know nothing of 
them, except from a distance. But what think you 
of the middle classes ? " 

"Their chief characteristic," said the man in 
black, " is a rage for grandeur and gentility ; and 
that same rage makes us quite sure of them in the 
long run. Everything that's lofty meets their 
unqualified approbation ; whilst everything humble, 
or, as they call it, ' low,* is scouted by them. They 
begin to have a vague idea that the religion which 
they have hitherto professed is low ; at any rate, 
that it is not the reUgion of the mighty ones of the 

p 2 

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316 ironmonger's daughter. [Oh. XXVII. 

earth, of the great kings and emperors whose shoes 
they have a vast inclination to kiss, nor was used 
by the grand personages of whom they have read 
in their novels and romances, their Ivanhoes, their 
Marmions, and their Ladies of the Lake." 

" Do you think that the writings of Scott have 
had any influence in modifying their religious 
opinions ? " 

''Most certainly I do," said the man in black. 
** The writings of that man have made them greater 
fools than they were before. All their conversation 
now is about gallant knights, princesses, and ca- 
valiers, with which his pages are stuffed — all of 
whom were Papists, or very high Church, which is 
nearly the same thing ; and they are beginning to 
think that the religion of such nice sweet-scented 
gentry must be something very superfine. Why, 
I know at Birmingham the daughter of an iron- 
monger, who screeches to the piano the Lady of 
the Lake's hymn to the Virgin Mary, always weeps 
when Mary Queen of Scots is mentioned, and fasts 
on the anniversary of the death of that very wise 
martyr, Charles the First. Why, I would engage to 
convert such an idiot to popery in a week, were it 

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worth my trouble. Cavalidre Oualtiero avete 
fatto molto in favore della Santa Sede ! " 

"If he has," said I, *'he has done it unwit- 
tingly ; I never heard before that he was a favourer 
of the popish delusion." 

" Only in theory," said the man in black. "Trust 
any of the clan Mac- Sycophant for interfering 
openly and boldly in favour of any cause on which 
the sun does not shine benignantly. Popery is at 
present, as you say, suing for grace in these regions 
in forma pauperis ; but let royalty once take it up, 
let old gouty George once patronize it, and I would 
consent to drink puddle-water if, the very next time 
the canny Scot was admitted to the royal sympo- 
sium, he did not say, * By my faith, yere Majesty, 
I have always thought, at the bottom of my heart, 
that popery, as ill scrapit tongues ca' it, was a very 
grand religion; I shall be proud to follow your 
Majesty's example in adopting it.*" 

" I doubt not," said I, " that both gouty George 
and his devoted servant will be mouldering in their 
tombs long before Boyalty in England thinks about 
adopting popery." 

" We can wait," said the man in black ; " in these 

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days of rampant gentility, there will be no want of 
kings nor of Scots about them." 

" But not Walters," said I. 

" Our work has been already tolerably well done 
by one," said the man in black ; " but if we wanted 
literature, we should never lack in these regions 
hosts of literary men of some kind or other to eulo- 
gize us, provided our religion were in the fashion, 
and our popish nobles chose — and they always do 
our bidding — to admit the canaille to their tables 
— their kitchen tables. As for literature in general," 
said h^, " the Santa Sede is not particularly 
partial to it, it may be employed both ways. In 
Italy, in particular, it has discovered that literary 
men are not always disposed to be lick-spittles." 

'* For example, Dante," said I. 

** Yes," said the man in black, " a dangerous 
personage ; that poem of his cuts both ways ; and 
then there was Pulci, that Morgante of his cuts 
both ways, or rather one way, and that sheer 
against us ; and then there was Aretino, who dealt 
so hard with the poveri frati ; all writers, at least 
ItaUan ones, are not lick-spittles. And then in 
Spain, — 't is true. Lope de Vega and Calderon were 

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most inordinate lick-spittles; the Principe Con- 
stante of the last is ' a curiosity in its way ; and 
then the Mary Stuart of Lope; I think I shall 
recommend the perusal of that work to the Bir- 
mingham ironmonger s daughter — she has heen lately 
thinking of adding * a slight knowledge of the mag- 
neeficent language of the Peninsula* to the rest of her 
accomplishments^ he ! he ! he ! But then there was 
Cervantes^ starving, but straight ; he deals us some 
hard knocks in that second part of his Quixote. 
Then there were some of the writers of the pica- 
resque novels. No, all literary men are not lick- 
spittles, whether in Italy or Spain, or, indeed, 
upon the Continent; it is only in England that 
aU . . . ." 

" Come," said I, " mind what you are about to 
say of English literary men." 

"Why should I mind?" said the man in black, 
" there are no literary men here. I have heard of 
literary men living in garrets, but not in dingles, 
whatever philologists may do; I may, therefore, 
speak out freely. It is only in England that lite- 
rary men are invariably lick-spittles; on which 
account, perhaps, they are so despised, even by 

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those who benefit by their dirty services. Look at 
your fashionable novel writers, he ! he ! — and, above 
all, at your newspaper editors, ho ! ho ! " 

" You will, of course, except the editors of the 
.... from your censure of the last class ? " said I. 

" Them ! " said the man in black ; " why they 
might serve as models in the dirty trade to all the 
rest who practise it. See how they bepraise their 
patrons, the grand Whig nobility, who hope, by 
raising the cry of liberalism, and by putting them- 
selves at the head of the populace, to come into 
power shortly. I don't wish to be hard, at present, 
upon those Whigs," he continued, "for they are 
playing our game; but a time will cotoe when, not 
wanting them, we will kick them to a considerable 
distance: and then, when toleration is no longer 
the cry, and the Whigs are no longer backed by 
the populace, see whether the editors of the ... . 
will stand by them ; they will prove themselves as 
expert lick- spittles of despotism as of liberalism. 
Don't think they will always bespatter the Tories 
and Austria." 

" Well," said I, " I am sorry to find that you 
entertain so low an opinion of the spirit of English 

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literary men ; we will now return, if you please, to 
the subject of the middle classes ; I think your 
strictures upon them in general are rather too 
sweeping — they are not altogether the foolish 
people which you have described. Look, for ex- 
ample, at that very powerful and numerous body 
the Dissenters, the descendants of those sturdy 
Patriots who hurled Charles the Simple from his 

" There are some sturdy fellows amongst them, 
I do not deny," said the man in black, " especially 
amongst the preachers, clever withal — two or three 
of that class nearly drove Mr. Platitude mad, as 
perhaps you are aware, but they are not very 
numerous ; and the old sturdy sort of preachers are 
fast dropping off, and, as we observe with pleasure, 
are generally succeeded by frothy coxcombs, whom 
it would not be very difficult to gain over. But 
what we most rely upon as an instrument to bring 
the Dissenters over to us is the mania for gentility, 
which amongst them has of late become as great, 
and more ridiculous than amongst the middle 
classes belonging to the Church of England. All 
the plain and simple fashions of their forefathers 

p 8 

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they are either about to abandon, or have abeady 
done 80. Look at the most part of their chapels — 
no longer modest brick edifices, situated in quiet 
and retired streets, but lunatic-looking erections, 
in what the simpletons call the modem Gothic 
taste, of Portland stone, with a cross upon the top, 
and the site generally the most conspicuous that 
can be found. And look at the manner in which 
they educate their children — ^I mean those that 
are wealthy. They do not even wish them to be 
Dissenters — * the sweet dears shall enjoy the ad- 
vantages of good society, of which their parents 
were debarred.' So the girls are sent to tip-top 
boarding schools, where amongst other trash they 
read 'Bokeby,' and are taught to sing snatches 
from that high-flying ditty, the ' Cavalier — * 

' Would you match the base Skippon, and Massej, and Brown, 
With the barons of England, who fight for the crown?' — 

he! he! their own names. Whilst the lads are 
sent to those hot-beds of pride and folly — colleges, 
whence they return with a greater contempt for 
everything * low,' and especially for their own 
pedigree, than they went with. I tell you, ftiend, 
the children of Dissenters, if not their parents, are 

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going over to the Church, as you call it, and the 
Church is going over to Kome." 

" I do not see the justice of that latter assertion 
at all," said I ; " some of the Dissenters' children 
may he coming over to the Church of England, 
and yet the Church of England he very far from 
going over to Rome." 

" In the high road for it, I assure you," said the 
man in hlack; " part of it is going to ahandon, the 
rest to lose their prerogative, and when a Church 
no longer retains its prerogative, it speedily loses its 
own respect, find that of others." 

" Well," said I, " if the higher classes have all 
the vices and follies which you represent, on which 
point I can say nothing, as I have never mixed 
with them ; and even supposing the middle classes 
are the foolish heings you would fain make 
them, and which I do not helieve them as a hody 
to he, you would still find some resistance amongst 
the lower classes : I have a considerable respect for 
their good sense and independence of character; 
but pray let me hear your opinion of them." 

" As for the lower classes," said the man in 
black, "' I believe them to be the most brutal 
wretches in the world, the most addicted to foul 

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feeding, foul language, and foul vices of every 
kind ; wretches who have neither love for country, 
religion, nor anything save their own vile selves. 
You surely do not think that they would oppose a 
change of religion ! why, there is not one of them 
but would hurrah for the Pope, or Mahomet, for 
the sake of a hearty gorge and a drunken bout, 
like those which they are treated with at election 

" Has your church any followers amongst them ? " 
said I. 

"Wherever there happens to be a Eomish 
family of considerable possessions," said the man in 
black, " our church is sure to have followers of the 
lower class, who have come over in the hope of^ 
getting something in the shape of dole or donation. 
As, however, the Eomish is not yet the dominant 
religion, and the clergy of the English establish- 
ment have some patronage to bestow, the churches 
are not quite deserted by the lower classes ; yet, were 
the Romish to become the established religion, they 
would, to a certainty, all go over to it ; you can 
scarcely imagine what a self-interested set they are 
— for example, the landlord of that public-house in 
which I first met you, having lost a sum of money 

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upon a cock-fight, and his affairs in consequence 
being in a bad condition, is on the eve of coming 
over to us, in the hope that two old Popish females 
of property, whom I confess, will* advance a sum of 
money to set him up again in the world." 

'" And what could have put such an idea into the 
poor fellow's head ?" said I. 

" Oh ! he and I have had som^onversation upon 
the state of his a£Pairs," said the man in black ; ** I 
think he might make a rather useAil convert in these 
parts, provided things take a certain turn, as they 
doubtless will. It is no bad thing to have a fight- 
ing fellow, who keeps a public-house, belonging to 
one s' religion. He has been occasionally employed 
as a bully at elections by the Tory party, and he 
may serve us in the same capacity. The fellow 
comes of a good stock ; I heard him say that his 
father headed the high Church mob, who sacked 
and burnt Priestley's house at Birmingham, towards 
the end of the last century." 

" A disgraceful affair," said I. 

** What do you mean by a disgraceful affair ?" 
said the man in black. '* I assure you that nothing 
has occurred for the last fifty years which has given 
the high Church party so much credit in the eyes of 

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fiome as that, — we did not imagine that the fellows 
had so mnch energy. Had they followed up that 
affair hy twenty others of a similar kind^ they 
would hy this time have had everything in their 
own power ; hut they did not, and, as a necessary 
consequence, they are reduced to almost no- 

" I suppose," said I, " that your Church would 
have acted very differently in its place." 

'^ It has always done so," said the man in hlack, 
coolly sipping. "Our Church has always armed 
the hrute population against the genius and intel* 
lect of a country, provided that same intellect and 
genius were not willing to hecome its instruments 
find eulogists ; and provided we once ohtain a firm 
hold here again, we would not fail to do so. We 
would occasionally stuff the heastly rahhle with 
horseflesh and hitter ale, and then halloo them on 
against all those who were ohnoxious to us." 

" Horseflesh and hitter ale !" I replied. 

" Yes," said the man in black ; " horseflesh and 
bitter ale — the favourite delicacies of their Saxon 
ancestors, who were always ready to do our bidding 
after a liberal allowance of such cheer. There is a 
tradition in our Church, that before the Northum- 

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brian rabble, at the instigation of Austin, attacked 
and massacred the presbyterian monks of Bangor, 
they had been allowed a good gorge of horseflesh and 
bitter ale. He ! he ! he !" continued the man in 
black, ''what a fine spectacle to see such a mob, 
headed by a fellow like our friend, the landlord, 
sack the house of another Priestley !" 

" Then you don't deny that we have had a Priest- 
ley," said I, *'and admit the possibility of our 
having another ? You were lately observing that all 
English literary men were sycophants ? " 

" Lick-spittles," said the man in black; "yes, I 
admit that you have had a Priestley, but he was a 
Dissenter of the old class ; you have had him, and 
perhaps may have another." 

" Perhaps we may," said I. " But with respect to 
the lower classes, have you mixed much with them ?" 

" I have mixed with all classes," said the man in 
black, '' and with the lower not less than the upper 
and middle; they are much as I have described them ; 
and of the three, the lower are the worst. I never 
knew one of them that possessed the slightest 
principle, no, not .... It is true, there was 
one fellow whom I once met, who . . . .; but 
it is along story, and the affair happened abroad." — 

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"I ought to know something of the English people," 
he continued, after a moment s pause ; " I have 
heen many years amongst them, labouring in the 
cause of the Church." 

" Your See must have had great confidence in 
your powers, when it selected you to labour for 
it in these parts," said I. 

" They chose me," said the man in black, "prin- 
cipally because, being of British extraction and 
education, I could speak the English language 
and bear a glass of something strong. It is the 
opinion of my See, that it would hardly do to send 
a missionary into a country like this who is not 
well versed in English — a country where, they think, 
so far from understanding any language besides 
his own, scarcely one individual in ten speaks his 
own intelligibly ; or an ascetic person where, as they 
say, high and low, male and female, are, at 
some period of their lives, fond of a reno- 
vating glass, as it is styled — in other words, of 

*' Your See appears to entertain a very strange 
opinion of the English," said I. 

" Not altogether an unjust one," said the man 
in black, lifting the glass to his mouth. 

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Ch. XXVIL] MONEY. 329 

" Well," said T, "it is certainly very kind on its 
part to wish to bring back such a set of beings 
beneath its wing." 

" Why, as to the kindness of my See," said the 
man in black, " I have not much to say ; my See 
has generally in what it does a tolerably good mo- 
tive ; these heretics possess in plenty what my See 
has a great hankering for, and can turn to a good 
account — money ! " 

" The founder of the Christian religion cared 
nothing for money," said I. 

" What have we to do with what the founder of 
the Christian religion cared for ?" said the man in 
black. " How could our temples be built, and our 
priests supported without money ? But you are un- 
wise to reproach us with a desire of obtaining 
money ; you forget that your own Church, if the 
Church of England be your own Church, as I sup- 
pose it is, from the willingness which you displayed 
in the public-house to fight for it, is equally ava- 
ricious; look at your greedy Bishops, and your 
corpulent Eectors — do they imitate Christ in his 
disregard for money ? You might as well tell 
me that they imitate Christ in his meekness and 

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" Well," said I, " whatever their faults may be, 
you can't say that they go to Borne for money." 

The man in black made no direct answer, but 
appeared by the motion of his lips to be repeating 
something to himself. 

" I see your glass is again empty," said I ; " per- 
haps you will replenish it ? " 

The man in black arose from his seat, adjusted 
his habiliments, which were rather in disorder, and 
placed upon his head his hat, which he had laid 
aside ; then, looking at me, who was still lying on 
the ground, he said — "I might, perhaps, take 
another glass, though I believe I have had quite 
as much as I can well bear; but I do not wish to 
hear you utter anything more this evening, after 
that last observation of yours — it is quite original ; 
I will meditate upon it on my pillow this night, 
after having said an ave and a pater — go to Eome 
for money!" He then made Belle a low bow, 
slighdy motioned to me with his hand as if bidding 
farewell, and then left the dingle with rather uneven 

" Go to Eome for money/* I heard him say as 
he ascended the winding path, " he ! he 1 he 1 Go to 
Borne for money, ho ! ho ! ho !" 

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Nearly three days elapsed without anything of 
particular moment occurring. Belle drove the little 
cart containing her merchandise about the neigh- 
bourhood, returning to the dingle towards the even- 
ing. As for myself, I kept within my wooded re- 
treat, working during the periods of her absence 
leisurely at my forge. Having observed that the 
quadruped which my companion drove was as much 
in need of shoes as my own had been some time 
previously, I had determined to provide it with a 
set, and during the aforesaid periods occupied my- 
self in preparing them. As I was employed three 
mornings and afternoons about them, I am sure 
that the reader will agree that I worked leisurely, 
or rather, lazily. On the third day Belle arrived 

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somewhat later than usual ; I was lying on my back 
at the bottom of the dingle, employed in tossing up 
the shoes which I had produced, and catching 
them as they fell — some being always in the air 
mounting or descending, somewhat after the fashion 
of the waters of a fountain. 

" Why have you been absent so long? " said I to 
Belle, " it must be long past four by the day." 

**I have been almost killed by the heat," said 
Belle ; " I was never out in a more sultry day — the 
poor donkey, too, could scarcely move along." 

" He shall have fresh shoes," said I, continuing 
my exercise, " here they are quite ready; to-morrow 
I will tack them on." 

"And why are you playing with them in that 
manner ? " said Belle. 

"Partly in triumph at having made them, and 
partly to show that I can do something besides 
making them; it is not every one who, after having 
made a set of horse-shoes, can keep them going up 
and down in the air, without letting one fall." 

"One has now fallen on your chin," said 

" And another on my cheek," said I, getting up ; 

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''it is time to discontiiiue the game^ for the last 
shoe drew blood." 

Belle went to her own little encampment ; and as 
for myself, after having flung the donkey's shoes 
into my tent, I put some fresh wood on the fire, 
which was nearly out, and hung the kettle over it. 
I then issued forth from the dingle, and strolled 
round the wood that surrounded it; for a long time 
I was busied in meditation, looking at the ground, 
striking witli my foot, half unconsciously, the tufts 
of grass and thistles that I met in my way. After 
some time, I lifted up my eyes to the sky, at first 
vacantly, and then with more attention, turning my 
head in all directions for a minute or two ; after 
which I returned to the dingle. Isopel was seated 
near the fire, over which the kettle was now hung; 
she had changed her dress — no signs of the dust 
and fatigue of her late excursion remained ; she 
had just added to the fire a small billet of wood, 
two or three of which I had left beside it ; the 
fire cracked, and a sweet odour filled the dingle. 

'* I am fond of sitting by a wood fire," said 
Belle, " when abroad, whether it be hot or 
cold; I love to see the flames dart out of the 

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wood; but what kind is this, and where did you 
get it ? " 

" It is ash." said I, « green ash. Somewhat less 
than a week ago, whilst I was wandering along the 
road by the side of a wood, I came to a place where 
some peasants were engaged in cutting up and clear- 
ing away a confused mass of faUen timber: a mighty 
aged oak had given way the night before, and in its 
faU had shivered some smaUer trees; ^^ upper 
part of the oak, and the fragments of the rest, lay 
across the road. I p^^hased, for a trifle, a bundle 
or two, and the wood on the fire is part of it-ash 
green ash." ' 

-That maies good the old rhyme/' said BeUe 

" which I have heard sung by the ol^ ^ • ' 

8 oy the old women in the 
great house; — 

Ash, when green. 
Is fire for a queen.* » 

"And on fairer form r.4? 
of the dingle." beauteous queen 

" I ^ half disposed to be angry ^th .. 
man," said Belle. ^ y°"' y^'^S 

"And why not entirely? "said I. 

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Belle made no reply. 

" Shall I tell you ? " I demanded. " You had no 
objection to the first part of the speech, but you 
did not like being called queen of the dingle. Well, 
if I had the power, I would make you queen of 
something better than the dingle — Queen of China. 
Come, let us have tea." 

" Something less would content me/* said Belle, 
sighing, as she rose to prepare our evening 

So we took tea together, Belle and I. " How 
delicious tea is after a hot summer s day, and a 
long walk," said she. 

" I dare say it is most refreshing then," said I; 
** but I have heard people say that they most enjoy 
it on a cold winter s night, when the kettle is 
hissing on the fire, and their children playing on 
the hearth." 

Belle sighed. " Where does tea come from ? " 
she presently demanded. 

**From China," said I; "I just now mentioned 
it, and the mention of it put me in mind of 

"What kind of country is China ?" 

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" I know very little about it ; all I know is, thafc 
it is a very large country far to the East, but 
scarcely large enough to contain its inhabitants, 
who are so numerous, that though China does not 
cover one-ninth part of the world, its inhabitants 
amount to one-third of the population of the 

" And do they talk as we do ? " 

*' no ! I know nothing of their language ; but 
T have heard that it is quite different from all others, 
and so diflBicult that none but the cleverest people 
amongst foreigners can master it, on which account, 
perhaps, only the French pretend to know anything 
about it." 

"Are the French so very clever, then?" said 

" They say there are no people like them, at least 
in Europe. But talking of Chinese reminds me that 
I have not for some time past given you a lesson 
in Armenian. The word for tea in Armenian is — 
by the by, what is the Armenian word for tea ? " 

*' That's your affair, not mine," said Belle; " it 
seems hard that the master should ask the scholar." 

" Well," said I * 'whatever the word may be in 

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Armenian, it is a noon; and as we have never 
yet declined an Armenian noun together, we may 
as well take this opportunity of declining one.. 
Belle, there are ten declensions in Armenian !" 

" What *s a declension ? " /^ 

" The way of declining a noun." 

" Then, in the civilest way imaginahle, I decline 
the noun. Is that a declension ? " 

" You should never play on words ; to do so 
is low, vulgar, smelling of the pothouse, the 
workhouse. Belle, I insist on your declining an 
Armenian noun." 

" I have done so already," said Belle, 

" If you go on in this way," said I, "I shall 
decline taking any more tea with you. Will you 
decline an Armenian noun ? " 

" I don t like the language," said Belle. " If 
you must teach me languages, why not teach me 
French or Chinese ?" 

" I know nothing of Chinese; and as for French, 
none hut a Frenchman is clever enough to speak it 
— to say nothing of teaching ; no, we will stick to 
Armenian, unless, indeed, you would prefer Welsh ! " 

VOL. III. ' Q 

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" Welsh, I have heard, is vulgar," said Belle ; 
" go, if I must leam one of the two, I ^1 prefer 
Armenian,' ^which I never heard of till you men- 
tioned it to me; though, of 4li6 two, I really think 
Welsh sounds best." 

" The Armenian noun," said I, " which I pro- 
pose for your declension tins night, is , 

which signifieth Master." 

" I neither like the word nor the soui^/' said 

''I can't help that," said I; "it is the word 
I choose : Master, with all its variations, being the 
first noun the sound of which I would have' you 
leam from my lips. Come, let us begin — 

*'A master. Of a master,. &c. Be- 

peat— " 

" I am not much used to say the word," said Belle, 
" but to oblige you I will decline it as you wish ;" 
and thereupon Belle declined Master in Armenian. 

'* You have declined the noun very well," said I; 
'^that is in the singular number; we will now go to 
the plural." 

" What is the plural ? " said Belle 

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*'That triuok implies more than one/ for ex- 
ample. Masters; you shall now go through masters 
in' Armenian." 

'' Never," said Belle, " never ; it is bad to have 
one master, but more I would never bear, whether 
in Armenian or English." 

'^Tou do not understand," said I; '*I merely 
want you to deoline Masters m iAxmeiam" 

" I do deoUne them; I wiU have notlung to do 
with them, nor with master; either; I was wnmg 
to ... . What sound is that ? " 

" I did not hear it, but J dare say it is thunder; 
in Armenian . . . ." 

''Never mind what. in Armooian; but why 
do you think it is thunder ?" 

" Ere I returned from my stroll, I looked up into 
the heavens, and by their appearance I judged that 
a storm was nigh at hand." 

" And why did you not tell me so ? " 

''You never asked me about the state of the 
atmosphere, and I am not in the habit of giving 
my opinion to people on any subject, unless ques- 
tioned. But, setting that aside, can you blame me 
for not troubling you with forebodings about storm 

Q 2 

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and tempest, which might have prevented the pleasure 
you promised yourself in drinking tea, or perhaps 
a lesson in Armenian, though you pretend to dislike 
the latter." 

. "My dislike is not pretended/' said Belle; "I 
hate the sound of it, but I love my tea, and it was 
kind of you not to wish to cast a cloud over my 
little pleasures; the thunder came quite time enough 
to interrupt it without being anticipated — there is 
flmother peal — I will clear away, and see that my 
tent is in a condition to resist the storm ; and I 
think you had better bestir yourself." ■ 

Isopel departed, and I remained seated on my 
stone, as nothing belonging to myself required any 
particular attention ; in about a quarter of an hour 
she returned, and seated herself upon her stool, 
w. *' How dark the place is become since I left you," 
paid she ; " just as if night were just at hand." . 

" Look up at the sky," said I ; ** and you will 
not wonder; it is all of a deep olive. The wind is 
beginning to rise ; hark how it moans among the 
branches, and see how their tops are bending ; it 
brings dust on its wings — I felt some fall on my 
face ; and what is this, a drop of rain ?" 

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" We shall have plenty anon," said Belle ; " do 
you hear ? it already begins to hiss upon the embers ; 
that fire of ours will soon be extinguished." 

** It is not probable that we shall want it," said I, 
" but we had better seek shelter: let us go into iny 

" Go in," said Belle, " but you go in alone ; as 
for me, I will seek my own." 

" You are right," said I, " to be a&aid of me ; 
I have taught you to decline master in Armenian." 

" You almost tempt me," said Belle, " to make 
you decline mistress in English." 

"To make matters short," said T, "I decline a 

" What do you mean ?" said Belle, angrily. 

" I have merely done what you wished me," said 
I, "and in your own style; there is no other way 
of declining anything in English, for in English 
there are no declensions." 

" The rain ig increasing," said Belle. 

" It is so," said I; " I shall go to my tent; you 
may come if you please; I do assure you I am not 
afraid of you." 

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"Not I of you," said Belle; " bo I will come. 
Why should I be nfraid? I ctfn take my own part; 
that is . . . ." 

We w^nt into the t^it and sat down^ and now the 
rain began to pour with vehemence. " I hope we 
shall not be flooded in this hollow," said I to Belle. 
"There is no fea» of that," said Bdle; the wan- 
dering people, amongst other names, call it the dry 
hollow. I believe tiiere is a passage somewhere or 
other by which the wet is carried off. There must 
be a cloud right ^ove us, it is so dark. Oh ! what 
a flash!" 

" And what a peal," said I ; " that is what the 
Hebrews call Koul Adonai — the voice of the Lord. 
Are you afraid ?" 

" No," said Belle, " I rather like to hear it." 

" You are right," said I, " I am fond of the 
sound of thunder myself. -There is notiiing like it; 
Eoul, Adonai behadar: the voice of the Lord is a 
glorious voice, as the prayer-boofc version hath it." 
. "There is somethiaKg atwful init," said Belle; 
" and then the lightning-i-tbe wh^lo dingie is now in 
a blaze." 

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cilXXVIIL] the thick bushes. 348 

" ' The voice of the Lord maketh the hinds to 
calve, and discovereih the thick hushes.' As you 
say, there is something awful in thunder." 

** There are all kinds of noises ahove us," said 
Belle ; " surely I heard the crashing of a tree ?" 

*" The voice of the Lord hreaketh the cedar trees/" 
said I, '^ hut what you hear is caused hy a convul- 
sion of the air; during a thunder-storm th^e are 
occasionally all kinds of aerial noises. Ah Gwilym, 
who, next to King David, has hest described a thun- 
der-storm, speaks of these aerial noises in the fol- 
lowing manner :— 

' Astonied now I stand at itrains, 
As of ten thousand clanking chains ; 
And once, methonght, that overthrown. 
The welkin's oaks came whelming down ; 
Upon my head np starts my hair : 
Why hunt abroad the hounds of air t 
What cursed hag is screeching high. 
Whilst crash goes all her crockery?' 

You would hardly believe. Belle, that though I 
offered at least ten thousand lines nearly as good as 
those to the booksellers in London, the simpletons 
were so blind to their interest as to refuse purchasing 

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" I don't wonder at it/' said Belle, " especially 
if sueh dreadful expressions frequently occur as 
that towards the end; — surely that was the crash of a 

*' Ah !" said I, " there falls the cedar tree — I 
mean the sallow; one of the tall trees on the outside 
of the dingle has heen snapped short." 

" What a pity," said Belle^ " that the fine old 
oak^ which you saw the peasants cutting up, gave 
way tho other night, when scarcely a breath of air 
was stirring;, how much better to have fallen in a 
storm like this, the fiercest I remember." 

"I don't think so," said I; "after braving a 
thousand tempests, it was meeter foi: it to fall of 
itself than to be vanquished at last. But to return 
to Ab Gwilym's poetry: he was above culling dainty 
words, and spoke boldly his mind on all subjects. 
Enraged with the thunder for parting him and 
Morfydd, he says, at the conclusion of his ode, 

' My curse, Thunder, cling to thee. 
For parting my dear pearl and me ! '" 

" You and I shall part, that is, I shall go to my 
tent, if you persist in repeating firom him. The man 

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must have been a savage. A poor wood-pigeon has 
fallen dead." 

" Yes," said I, " there he lies, just outside the 
tent; often have I listened to his note when alone « 
in this wilderness. So you do not like Ab Gwilym ; 
what say you to old Gothe : — 

' Mist sbrouds the night, and rack ; 
Hear, in the woods, what an awful crack ! ^ 

Wildly the owls are flitting. 
Hark to the pillars splitting 

Of palaces verdant ever, - » 

The branches quiver and sever, ^ 

The mighty stems are creaking. 
The poor roots breaking and shrieking, . r 

In wild mixt ruin down dashing. 
O'er one another they *re crashing ; 
Whilst 'midst the rocks so hoary, ' » 

Whirlwinds hurry and worry. 
Hear'st not, sister — 

"Hark!" said BeUe, "hark!" 


* Hear 'st not, sister, a chorus 
Of voices 1" 

'' No," said Belle, " but I hear a voice." 

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I LISTENED attentivelyj but I could hear nothing 
but the loud clashing of branches, the pattering of 
rain, and the muttered growl of thunder. I was 
about to tell Belle that she must have been mis- 
taken, when I heard a shout — ^indistinct, it is true, 
owing to the noises aforesaid^from some part of 
the field above the dingle. "I will soon see what's 
the matter," said I to Belle, starting up. "I will 
go, too," said the gurl. " Stay where you are," said 
I ; " if I need you, I will call;" and, without waiting 
for any answer, I hurried to the mouth of the 
dingle. I was about a few ywrds only from the 
top of the ascent, when I beheld a blaze of light, 
from whence I knew not ; the next moment there 
was a loud crash, and I appeared involved in a 

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cloud of sulphurous smoke. " Lord have mercy 
upon us !*' I heard a voice say, and methought I 
heard the plunging and struggling of horses. I 
had stopped short on hearing the crash, for I 
was half stunned ; but I now hurried forward, and 
in a mom^it stood upon the plain. Here I was 
instantly aware of the cause of the crash and 
the smoke. One of those balls, generally called 
fire-balls, had fallen from the clouds, and was 
burning on the plain at a short distance; and 
the voice which I had heard, and the plunging, 
were as easily accounted for. Near the left-hand 
comer of the grove which surrounded the dingle, 
and about ten yards from the fire-ball, I per- 
ceived a chaise, with a postiUion on the box, who 
was making efibrts, apparently useless, to control 
his horses, which were kicking and plunging in the 
highest degree of excitement. I instantly ran to- 
wards the chaise, in order to ofier what help was 
in my power. *'Help me," said the poor fellow, 
as I drew nigh; but before I could reach the 
horses, they had turned rapidly round, one of the 
fore-wheels flew from its axle-tree, the chaise was 
overset, and the postillion flung violently from his 

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seat upon the field. The horses now became 
more furious than before^ kicking desperately, and 
todeavouring to disengage themselves &om' the 
fallen chaise. As I was hesitating whether to run 
to the assistance of the postillion or endeavour to 
disengage the animals, I heard the voice of Belle 
exclaiming, " See to the horses, I will look after 
the man." She had, it seems, been alarmed by the 
crash which accompanied the fire-bolt, and had 
hurried up to learn the cause. I forthwith seized 
the horses by the heads, and used all the means I 
possessed to soothe and pacify them, employing 
every gentle modulation of which my voice was 
capable. Belle, in the meantime, had raised up the 
man, who was much stunned by his fall; but, 
presently recovering his recollection to a certain 
degree, he came limping to me, holding his hand 
to his right thigh. *' The first thing that must now 
be done,** said I, " is to firee these horses from the 
traces ; can you undertake to do so ?" "I think I 
can," said the man, looking at me somewhat 
stupidly. *' I will help/ said Belle, and without 
loss of time laid hold of one of the traces. The 
man^ after a short pauae, also set to work, and in a 

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few minutes the horses were extricated. " Now," 
said I tcr the man, " what is next to be done ?" ** I 
don't know," said he ; " indeed, I sccurcely know 
anything; I have been so frightened by this 
horrible storm, and so shaken by my fall." '* I 
think," said I, " that the storm is passing away, 
so cast your fears away too ; and as for your fall, 
you must bear it as lightly as you can. I will tie 
the horses amongst those trees, and then we will all 
betake us to the hollow below." *' And what 's to 
become of my chaise ?" said the postillion, looking 
ruefiiUy on the fallen vehicle. " Let us leave the 
chaise for the present," said I ; "we can be of no 
use to it." " I don t like to leave my chaise lying 
on the ground in this weather," said the man ; " I 
love my chaise, and him whom it belongs to." '* You 
are quite right to be fond of yourself," said I, *'on 
which account I advise you to seek shelter from 
the rain as soon as possible." " I was not talking 
of myself," said the man, " but my master, to whom 
the chaise belongs." "I thought you called the 
chaise yours," said I. " That 's my way of speak- 
ing," said the man ; '"but the chaise is my master's, 
and a better master does not live. Don't you think 

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W6 coald manage to raise up the chaise ?" "And 
ijrhat is to become ol the horses ?" said I. •** I love 
my horses well Enough/' said the man ; " bat they 
ifdli take less harm than the chaise. We two can 
never lift up that chaise," "But we three can/ 
said BeUe ; '* at leasts I think so ; and I know 
wh«re^ to find two poles which will assist us." 
" You had better go to the tent/* said I, " you will 
be wet through." " I care not for a little wetting," 
said Belle; "moreover, I have more gowns than 
one—see you after the horses." Thereupon, I led 
the horses past the mouth of the dingle, to a place 
where a gap in the hedge afforded admission to the 
copse or plantation on the southern side. Forcing 
them through' the gap, I led them to a spot amidst 
the trees, which I deemed would afford them the 
most convenient place for standing ; then, darting 
down into the dingle, I brought up a rope, and also 
the halter of my own nag, and. with these fastened 
them each to a separate tree in the best manner I 
could. This done, I returned to the chaise and 
the postillion. In a minute or two Belle arrived 
with two poles, which, it seems, had long been 
lying, overgrown with brushwood, in a ditch or 

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holloa b^biiicl the, plantation. With these both 
fiber aiidI<Bet to irork in -endeavouring to raise the 
fallen chaise from the ^xmii ^ 

We erperieneed' oonsideirable difficulty in this 
undertaking; at length, with the assistance of the 
postillion; we saw our efforts crowned with success 
— the chaise was lifted up; and stood upright on 
three wheels. V. - 

" We may leave it here in safety,** said I, " for 
it will hardly move away on three wheels, even 
supposing it could run by itsdf ; I am^ afraid there 
is work here for a wheelwright, m which case I 
cannot asast you ; if you were in need of a black- 
smith it would be otherwise.'- " I don't think either 
the wheel or the azle is hurt," said the postillion, 
who had been handling both ; " it is only the linch- 
pin having dropped out that caused the wheel to 
fly off; if I could but find the linch-pin ! — though, 
perhaps, it fell out a mile away." ** Very likely," 
said I ; '* but never mind the linch-pin, I can make 
you one, or something that will serve : but I can't 
stay here any longer, I am going to my place below 
with this young gentlewoman, and you had better 
follow us." " I am ready," s,aid the man ; and after 

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lifting up the wheel and propping it against the 
chaise^ he went with us, slightly limping, and with 
his hand pressed to his thigh. 

As we were descending the narrow path. Belle 
leading the way, and myself the last of the party, 
the postillion suddenly stopped short, and looked 
about him. " Why do you stop ? " said I. " I 
don't wish to oflfend you," said the man, '* but this 
seems to be a strange place you are leading me 
into ; I hope you and the young gentlewoman, as 
you call her, don't mean me any harm — you seemed 
in a great hurry to bring me here." '' We wished 
to get you out of the rain," said I, '^ and ourselves 
too ; that is, if we can, which I rather doubt, for 
the canvas of a tent is slight shelter in such a 
rain ; but what harm should we wish to do you ? " 
"You may think I have money," said the man, 
"and I have some, but only thirty shillings, and 
for a sum like that it would be hardly worth while 
to .... " " Would it not ?" said I ; " thirty 
shillings, after all, are thirty shillings, and for what 
I know, half-a-dozen throats may have been cut 
in this place for that sum at the rate of five shil- 
lings each ; moreover, there are the horses, which 

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would serve to establish this young gentlewoman 
and myself in housekeeping, provided we were 
thinking of such a thing." " Then I suppose I 
have fallen into pretty hands," said the man, 
putting himself in a posture of defence ; " but 1 11 
show no craven heart ; and if you attempt to lay 
hands on me, I '11 try to pay you in your own coin. 
I m rather lamed in the leg, but I can stiU use my 
fists ; so come on both of you, man and woman, 
if woman this be, though she looks more like a 

" Let me hear no more of this nonsense," said 
Belle ; " if you are afraid, you can go back to your 
chaise — we only seek to do you a kindness." 

" Why he was just now talking of cutting 
throats," said the man. " You brought it on your- 
self," said Belle ; " you suspected us, and he 
wished to pass a joke upon you ; he would not hurt 
a hair of your head, were your coach laden with 
gold, nor would I." " Well," said the man, " I was 
wrong — here 's my hand to both of you," shaking 
us by the hands ; " 1 11 go with you where you 
please, but I thought this a strange lonesome place, 
though I ought not much to mind strange lone- 

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some places^ having been in plenty of such when 
I was a servant in Italy, without coming to any 
harm — come, let us move on, for 'tis a shame to 
keep you two in the rain." 

So we descended the path which led into the 
d^ths of the dingle; at the bottom I conducted 
the postillion to my tent, which, though the nun 
dripped and trickled through it, ajfforded some 
shelt^ ; there I bade him sit down on the log of 
wood, whilst I placed myself as usual on my stone. 
Belle in the meantime had repaired to her own 
place of abode. Afber a little time, I produced a 
bottle of the cordial of which I have previously 
had occasion tp speak, and made my guest take % 
considerable draught. I then offered him somo 
bread and cheese, which he accepted with thanks. 
In about an hour the rain had much abated : 
" What do you now propose to do ? " said I. ** I 
scarcely know," said the man; " I suppose I must 
endeavour to put on the wheel with your help." 
" How far are you from your home ? " I demanded. 
** Upwards of thirty miles," said the man; "my 
master keeps an inn on the great north road, and 
from thence I started early this morning with a 

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family, which I conveyed across the country to a 
hall at some distance from here. On my return 
I was heset by the thunder storm, which frightened 
the horses, who dragged the chaise off the road to 
the field above, and overset it as you saw. I had 
]^roposed to pass the night at an inn about twelve 
miles from h^re on my way back, though how I 
am to get there to-night I scarcely know, even if 
we can put on the wheel, for, to tell you the truth, 
I am shaken by my fall, and the smoulder and 
smoke of that fire-ball have rather bewildered my 
head ; I am, moreover, not much acquainted with 
the way." 

" The best thing you can do," said I, " is to 
pass the night here; I will presently light a fire, 
and endeavour to make you comfortable — ^in the 
morning we will see to your wheel." " Well," 
said the man, *' I shall be glad to pass the night 
here, provided I do not intrude, but I must see to 
the horses." Thereupon I conducted the man to the 
place where the horses were tied. " The trees drip 
very much upon them," said the man, " and it will 
not do for them to remain here all night ; they will 
be better out on the field picking the grass; but first 

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of all they must have a good feed of com." There- 
upon he went to his chaise, from which he presently 
brought two small hags, partly filled with com — 
into them he inserted the mouths of the horses, 
tying them over their heads. " Here we will leave 
them for a time/* said the man ; '^ when I think 
they have had enough, I will come hack, tie their 
fore-legs, and let them pick about." 

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It might be about ten o'clock at night. Belle, the 
postillion, and myself, sat just within the tent, by a 
fire of charcoal which I had kindled in the chafing- 
pan. The man had removed the harness from his 
horses, and, after tethering their legs, had left them 
for the night in the field above to regale themselves 
on what grass they could find. The rain had long 
since entirely ceased, and the moon and stars shone 
bright in the firmament, up to which, putting aside 
the canvas, I occasionally looked from the depths 
of the dingle. Large drops of water, however, 
falling now and then upon the tent from the neigh- 
bouring trees, would have served, could we have 
forgotten it, to remind us of the recent storm, and 

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also a certain chilliness in the atmosphere^ unusual 
to the season^ proceeding from the moisture with 
which the ground was saturated ; yet these circum- 
stances gnly served to make our party enjoy the 
charcoal fire the. more. There we sat bending over 
it: Belle, with her long beautiful hair streaming 
over her magnificent shoulders; the postillion 
smoking his pipe^ in his shirt-sleeves and waist- 
costy having flung aside his great coat, which had 
sustained a thorough wetting ; and I without my 
wagoner'9 slop, of which, it being in the same 
plight, I had also divested myself. 

The pew comer was a well-made fellow of about 
thirty, with an open and agreeable countenance. I 
found him very well informed for a 'man in his 
station, and with some pretensions to humour. 
After we had discoursed for some tune on indif- 
ferent subjects, the postilUon, who had exhausted 
his pipe,, took it from his mouth, and, knocking out 
the ashes upon the ground, exclaimed, ''I little 
thought, when I got up in the morning, that I 
should spend the night in such agreeable company, 
and after such a fright." 

" Well," said I, " I am glad that your opinion of 

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Oh. XXX.] NO WONDER 1 869 

US has improved ; it is not long since you seemed 
to hold us in rather a suspicious light" 

''And no wonder/' said the man, ''seeing the 
place you were taking me to ! I was n^t a little^ 
hut very much afraid of ye both; and so I con- 
tinued for some time, though, not to show a craven 
heart, I pretended to be quite satisfied ; but I see I 
was altogether mistaiken * about ye* I thought you 
vagrant Gypsy folks and trampers ; but now . . /' 

" Vagrant Gypsy folks and trampers," said I ; 
" and what are we but people of that stamp ? " 

" Oh," said the postillion, " if you wish to be 
thought such, I am far too civil a person to con- 
tradict you, especially after your kindness to me, 
but • . . .' 

*' But ! " said I ; " what do you mean by but ? I 
would have you to know that I am proud of being 
a travelling blacksmith; look at these donkey-shoes, 
I finished them this day." 

The postiUion took the shoes and examined them. 
"So you made these shoes?" he c^ed at last 

" To be sure I did; do you doubt it ?** 

" Not in the least," said the man, 

" Ah ! ah !" said I, " I thought I should bring 

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you back to your original opinion. I am, then, a 
vagrant Gypsy body, a tramper, a wandering black- 

" Not a blacksmith, whatever else you may be," 
said the postillion, laughing. 

*' Then how do you account for my making those 
shoes ? " 

"By your not. being a blacksmith," said the 
postillion ; " no blacksmith would have made shoes 
in that manner. Besides, what did you mean just 
now by saying you had finished these shoes to-day? 
A real blacksmith would have flung off three or four 
sets of donkey-shoes in one morning, but you, I will 
be sworn, have been hammering at these for days, 
and they do you credit — but why ? — because you are 
no blacksmith ; no, friend, your shoes may do for 
this young gentlewoman's animal, but I shouldn't 
like to have my horses shod by you, unless at a 
great pinch indeed." 

" Then," said I, *' for what do you take me ?" 

" Why, for some runaway young gentleman," 
said the postillion. '' No offence, I hope ? " 

" None at all ; no one is offended at being taken 
pr mistaken for a young gentleman, whether ran- 

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away or not ; but from whence do you suppose I 
have run away ? *' 

" Why, from college,"^ said the man : " no of- 
fence?" 4 

" None whatever; and what induced me to run 
away from college ? " 

"A love affair, 1 11 be sworn," said the postillion. 
** Ybu had become acquainted with this young gen- 
tlewoman, so she and you . . . ." 

" Mind how you get on, friend," said Belle, in a 
deep serious tone. 

" Pray proceed," said I; " I dare say you mean 
no offence." 

" None in the world," said the postillion; " all I 
was going to say was, that you agreed to run away 
together, you from college, and she from boarding- 
school. Well, there *s nothing to be ashamed of in 
a matter like that, such things are done every day 
by young folks in high life." 

" Are you offended? " said I to Belle, 

Belle made no answer; but« placing her elbows on 
her knees, buried her face in her hands. 

** So we ran away together?" said I. 

" Ay, ay," said the postillion, " to Gretna Green, 


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though I can't say that I drove ye, though I have 
driven many a pair." 

" And from Gretna Green we came here ? " 

" I '11 be bound you did," said the man, ^' till 
you could arrange matters at home." 

" And the horse-shoes?" said I. 

" The donkey-shoes you mean," answered the 
postillion ; "why, I suppose you persuaded the black- 
smith who married you to give you, before you left, 
a few lessons in his trade." 

*' And we intend to stay here till we have ar- 
ranged matters at home ? " 

" Ay, ay," said the postillion, ** till the old peopi^ 
are pacified, and they send you letters directed to 
the next post town, to be left till called for, begin- 
ning with ' Dear children,' and enclosing you each 
a cheque for one hundred pounds, when you will leave 
this place, and go home in a coach like gentlefolks, 
to visit your governors; I should like nothing 
better than to have the driving of you : and then 
there will be a grand meeting of the two families, 
and after a few reproaches, the old people will agree 
to do something handsome for the poor thoughtless 
things; so you will have a genteel house taken for 

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you, and an annuity allowed you. You won't get 
mucb the first year, five hundred at the most, in order 
that the old folks may let yon feel that they are not 
altogether satisfied with you, and that you are yet 
entirely in their power ; hut the second, if you don't 
get a cool thousand, may I catch cold, especially 
should young madam here present a son and heir 
for the old people to fondle, destined one day 
to hecome sole heir of the two illustrious houses ; 
and then all the grand folks in the neighhourhood, 
who have — hless their prudent hearts ! — kept rather 
aloof fi-om you till then, for fear you should want 
anything from them — I say all the carriage people 
in the neighhourhood, when they see how swim- 
mingly matters are going on, will come in shoals 
to visit you." 

" Really," said I, " you are getting on swim- 

" Oh," said the postillion, " I was not a gentle- 
man's servant nine years without learning the ways 
of gentry, and being able to know gentry when I 
see them." 

" And what do you say to all this ? " I demanded 
of Belle. 

R 2 

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" Stop a moment," interposed the postillion, " I 
have one more word to say: — and when you are sur- 
rounded by your comforts, keeping your nice little 
barouche and pair, your coachman and livery ser- 
vant, and visited by all the carriage people in the 
neighbourhood — to say nothing of the time when 
you come to the family estates on the death of the 
old people — I shouldn't wonder if now and then 
you look back with longing and regret to the days 
when you lived in the damp dripping dingle, had 
no better equipage than a pony or donkey-cart, 
and saw no better company than a tramper or 
Gypsy,, except once, when a poor postillion was 
glad to seat himself at your charcoal fire." 

" Pray," said I, " did you ever take lessons in 
elocution ? " 

" Not directly," said the postillion ; " but my old 
master, who was in Parliament, did, and so did his 
son, who was intended to be an orator. A great 
professor used to come and give them lessons, and I 
used to stand and listen, by which means I picked 
up a considerable quantity of what is caUed 
rhetoric. In what I last said, I was aiming at what 
I have heard him firequently endeavouring to teach. 

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my governors as a thing indispensably necessary in 
all oratory, a graceful pere — pere — peregrina 

*' Peroration, perhaps? '* 

" Just so/' said the postillion ; " and now I m 
sure I am not mistaken about you ; you have taken 
lessons yourself, at first hand, in the college vaca- 
tions, and a promising pupil you were, I make no 
doubt. Well, your ftiends will be aU the happier 
to get you back. Has your governor much 
borough interest ? " 

" I ask you once more," said I, addressing my- 
self to Belle, " what you think of the history which 
this good man has made for us 7 *' 

" What should I think of. it," said Belle, still 
keeping her face buried in her hands, '^ but that it 
is mere nonsense ? " 

" Nonsense ! " said the postillion. 

" Yes," said the girl, " and you know it." 

*'May my leg always ache, if I do," said the 
postillion, patting his leg with his hand; *' will you 
persuade me that this young man has never been at 

"I have never been at college, but . . . . " 

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" Ay, ay/' said the postillion, " bot . . . . " 

" I have been to the best schools in Britain, to 
say nothing of a celebrated one in Ireland." 

" Well, then, it comes to the same thing," said 
the postillion, " or perhaps you know more than if 
you had been at college — and your governor ; . . . 

" My governor, as you call him," said I, " is 

" And his borough interest ? '* 

"My father had no borough interest," said I; 
" had he possessed any, he would perhaps not have 
died, as he did, honourably poor." 

" No, no," said the postillion, " if he had had 
borough interest, he wouldn't have been poor, nor 
honourable, though perhaps a right honourable. 
However, with your grand education and genteel 
manners, you made all right at last by persuading 
this noble young gentlewoman to run away from 
boarding-school with you," 

"I was never at boarding-school," said Belle, 
** unless you call . . . . " 

" Ay, ay," said the postillion, " boarding-school 
is vulgar, I know : I beg your pardon, I ought to 
have called it academy, or by some other much 

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Ch. XXX.] LET US HEAB. 367 

finer name — you were in something much greater 
than a boarding-school." 

*' There you are right," said Belle, lifting up 
her head and looking the postUlion full in the face 
by the light of the charcoal fire, " for I was bred in 
the workhouse." 

" Wooh ! " said the postillion. 

" It is true that I am of good . . . . " 

" Ay, ay," said the postiUion, " let us hear ..." 

" Of good blood," continued Belle ; " my name 
is Bemers, Isopel Bemers, though my parents were 
unfortunate. Indeed, with respect to blood, 1 
believe I am of better blood than the young 

"There you are mistaken," said I; ''by my 
father's side I am of Cornish blood, and by my 
mother's of brave French Protestant extraction. 
Now, with respect to the blood of my father — and 
to be descended well on the father s side is the 
principal thing — it is the best "blood in the world, 
for the Cornish blood, as the proverb says . . . . " 

" I don t care what the proverb says," said Belle; 
" I say my blood is the best — my name is Bemers, 
Isopel Bemers — it was my mother's name, and is 

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better, I am sitte, tian any you bear, whatever that 
may be ; and though you say that the descent on 
the fathers side is the principal thing — and I 
know why you say so," she added with some excite- 
ment — " I say that descent on the mother s side is of 
most account, because the mother ....** 

*'Just come from Gretna Green, and abeady 
quarrelling ! " said the postillion. 

"We do not come from Gretna Green/* said 

"Ah, I had forgot," said the postillion, "none 
but great people go to Gretna Green. Well, then, 
from church, and already quarrelling about family, 
just like two great people." 

"We have never been to church," said Belle, 
" and to prevent any more guessing on your part, 
it will be as well for me to tell you, friend, that I 
am nothing to the young man, and he, of course, 
nothing to me. I am a poor travelling girl, bom in 
a workhouse: journeying on my occasions with 
certain companions, I came to this hollow, where 
my company quarrelled with the young man, who 
had settled down here, as he had a right to do if he 
pleased ; and not being able to drive him out, they 

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went away after quarrelling with me, too, for not 
choosing to side with them ; so I stayed here along 
with the young man, there being room for us both^ 
and the place being as &ee to me as to him." 

" And in order that you may be no longer 
puzzled with respect to myself," said I, *' I will 
give you a brief outline of my history. I am the 
son of honourable parents, who gave me a first-rate 
education, as far as literature and languages went, 
with which education I endeavoured, on the death 
of my father, to advance myself to wealth and re- 
putation in the big city ; but failing in the attempt, 
I conceived a disgust for the busy world, and deter 
mined to retire from it. After wandering about for 
some time> and meeting with various adventures, 
in one of which I contrived to obtain a pony, 
cart, and certain tools, used by smiths and tinkers, 
I came to this place, where I amused myself witli 
making horse-shoes, or rather pony-shoes, having 
acquired the art of wielding the hammer and tongs 
from a strange kind of smith — not him of Gretna 
Green — whom I knew in my childhood. And here 
I lived, doing harm to no one, quite lonely 
and solitary, till one fine morning the premises 

R a 

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were visited by this young gentlewoman and her 
companions. She did herself anything hut justice 
when she said that her companions quarrelled with 
her because she would not side with them against 
me; they quarrelled with her because she came 
most heroically to my assistance as I was on the 
point of being murdered ; and she forgot to tell 
you that, after they had abandoned her, she stood 
by me in the dark hour, comforting and cheering 
me, whea unspeakable dread, to which I am oc- 
casionally subject, took possession of my mind. 
She says she is nothing to me, even as I am 
nothing to her. I am of course nothing to her, 
but she is mistaken in thinking she is nothing 
to me. I entertain the highest regard and ad- 
miration for her, being convinced that I might 
seatch the whole world in vain for a nature more 
heroic and devoted/*. 

*' And for my part,** said Selle, with a sob, " a 
more quiet agreeable partner in a place like this 
I would not wish to have ; it is true he has strange 
ways, and frequently puts words into my mouth very 
difficult to utter, but — but ....** and here she 
buried her face once more in her hands. 

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** Well," said the postillion, " I have been mis- 
taken about yon; that is, not altogether, but in part. 
Tou are not rich folks, it seems, but you are not 
common people, and that I could have sworn. 
What I call a shame is, that some people I have 
known are not in your place and you in theirs, you 
with their estates and borough interest, they in this 
dingle with these carts and animals; but there is 
Bo help for these things. Were I the great Mumbo 
Jumbo above, I would endeavour to manage matters 
better ; but being a simple postillion, glad to earn 
three shillings a day, I can't be expected to do 

" Who is Mumbo Jumbo ? " said I. 

"Ah!" said the postillion, "I see there may 
be a thing or two I know better than yourself 
Mumbo Jumbo is a god of the black coast, to 
which people go for ivory and gold." 

" Were you ever there ? " I demanded. 

" No," said the postillion, " but I heard plenty of 
Mumbo Jumbo when I was a boy." 

" I wish you would tell us something about 
yourself. I believe that your own real history 

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would prove quite as entertaiiiisg, if not more, 
than that which you imagined about us." 

" I am rather tired/' said the postillion, " and my 
1^ is rather troublesome. I should be glad to try 
to sleep upon one of your blankets. However, as 
you wish to hear something about me, I shall be 
happy to oblige you; but your fire is rather low, 
and this place is chilly." 

Thereupon I arose, and put fresh charcoal on 
the pan ; then taking it outside the tent, with a kind 
of fan which I had fashioned, I fanned the coals into 
a red glow, and continued doing so until the greater 
part of the noxious gas, which the coals are in the 
habit of exhaling, was exhausted. I then brought 
it into the tent and reseated myself, scattering over 
the coals a small portion of sugar. '* No bad smell," 
said the postillion; "but upon the whole I think I 
like the smell of tobacco better; and with your 
permission I will once more light my pipe." 

Thereupon he relighted his pipe; and, after taking 
two or three whifis, began in the following manner. 

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AM SXOBDnnC. — rars ships. — high BARBART captains. — ^F&BX-BOBjr 

'' I AM a poor postillion, as you see; yet, as I have 
seen a thing or two, and heard a thing or two of 
what is going on in the world, perhaps what I have 
to tell you connected with myself may not prove 
altogether uninteresting. Now, my Mends, this 
manner of opening a story is what the man who 
taught rhetoric would call a hex — hex . . . ." 

" Exordium," said I. 

" Just so," said the postillion ; . " I treated you to 
a per — per — ^peroration some time ago, so that I have 
contrived to put the cart hefore the horse, as the 
Irish orators frequently do in the honourable House, 
in whose speeches, especially those who have taken 
lessons in rhetoric, the per — per — what's the word? 
— frequently goes before the exordium. 

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*^I was bom in the neighbouring county; my 
father was land-steward to a squire of about a 
thousand a year. My father had two sons, of whom 
I am the youngest by some years. My elder brother 
was of a spirited roving disposition, and for fear 
that he should turn out what is generally termed 
ungain, my father determined to send him to sea: 
so once upon a time, when my brother was about 
fifteen, he took him to the great sea-port of the 
county, where he apprenticed him to a captain of 
one of the ships which trade to the high Barbary 
coast. Fine ships they were, I have heard say, more 
than thirty in number, and all belonging to a won- 
derful great gentleman, who had once been a parish 
boy, but had contrived to make an immense fortune 
by trading to that coast for gold-dust, ivory, and 
other strange articles; and for doing so, I mean for 
making a fortune, had been made a knight baronet. 
So my brother went to the high Barbary shore, on 
board the fine vessel, and in about a year returned 
and came to visit us; he repeated the voyage several 
times, always coming to see his parents on his 
return. Stratige stories he used to tell us of what 
he had been witness to on the high Barbary coast. 

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both off shore and on. He said that the fine vessel 
in which he sailed was nothing better than a painted 
hell; that the captain was a veritable fiend, whose 
grand delight was in tormenting his men, especially 
when they were sick, as they frequently were, there 
being always fever on the high Barbary coast ; and 
that though the captain was occasionally sick him- 
self, his being so made no difference, or rather it 
did make a difference, though for the worse, he 
being when sick always more inveterate and ma- 
lignant than at other times. He said that once, 
when he himself was sick, his captain had pitched 
his face all over, which exploit was much applauded 
by the other high Barbary captains — all- of whom, 
firom what my brother said, appeared to be of much 
the same disposition as my brother s captain, taking 
wonderful delight in tormenting the crews, and doing 
all manner of terrible things. My brother fi-equently 
said that nothing whatever prevented him fi'om run- 
ning away firom his ship, and never returning, but 
the hope he entertained of one day being captain 
himself, and able to torment people in his turn, 
which he solemnly vowed he would do, as a kind of 
compensation for what he himself had undergone. 

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And if things were going on in a strange way off the 
high Barbary shore amongst those who came there 
to trade, they were going on in a way yet stranger 
with the people who lived upon it. 

" Oh the strange ways of the black men who lived 
on that shore, of which my brother used to tell us at 
home — selling their sons, daughters, tod servants 
for slaves, and the prisoners taken in battle, to the 
Spanish captains, to be carried to Havannah, and 
when there, sold at a profit, the idea of which, my 
brother said, went to the hearts of our own cap- 
tains, who used to say what a hard thing it was 
that free-born Englismen could not have a hand in 
the traffic, seeing that it was forbidden by the laws 
of their country ; talking fondly of the good old 
times when their forefathers used to carry slaves to 
Jamaica and Barbadoes, realizing immense profit, 
besides the pleasure of hearing their shrieks on the 
voyage; and then the superstitions of the blacks, 
which my brother used to talk of; their sharks* 
teeth, their wisps of fowls feathers, their half-baked 
pots full of burnt bones, of which they used to 
make what they called fetish, and bow down to, 
and ask favours of, and then, perhaps, abuse and 

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Strike, provided the senseless rubbish did not give 
them what they asked for; and then, above all, 
Mumbo Jumbo, the grand fetish master, who lived 
somewhere in the woods, and who used to come out 
every now and then with his fetish companions ; a 
monstrous figure, all wound round with leaves and 
branches, 'so as to be quite indistinguishable, and, 
seating himself on the high seat in the villages, 
receive homage from the people, and also gifts 
and oflferings, the most valuable of which were 
pretty damsels, and then betake himself back 
again, with his followers, into the woods. Oh the 
tales that my brother used to tell us of the high 
Barbaiy shore ! Poor fellow ! what became of him 
I can't say; the last time he came back from a 
voyage, he told us that his captain, as soon as he 
had brought his vessel to port and settled with his 
owner, drowned himself off the quay, in a fit of 
the horrors, which it seems high Barbary captains, 
after a certain number of years, are much subject 
to. After staying about a month with us, he went 
to sea again, with another captain ; and, bad as the 
old one had been, it appears the new one was 
worse, for, unable to bear his treatment, my brother 

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left his ship off the high Barbary shore, and ran 
away up the country. Some of his comrades, whom 
we afterwards saw, stud that there were various re- 
ports about him on the shore ; one that he had 
taken on with Mumbo Jumbo, and was serving him 
in his house in the woods, in the capacity of swash- 
buckler, or life-guardsman ; another, that he was 
gone in quest of a mighty city in thelieart of the 
negro country ; another, that in swimming a stream 
he had been devoured by an alligator. Now, these 
two last reports were bad enough ; the idea of their 
flesh and blood being bit asunder by a ravenous 
fish, was sad enough to my poor parents ; and not 
very comfortable was the thought of his sweltering 
over the hot sands in quest of the negro city ; but 
the idea of their son, their eldest child, serving 
Mumbo Jumbo as swash-buckler, was worst of all, 
and caused my poor parents to shed many a scald- 
ing tear. 

" I stayed at home with my parents until I was 
about eighteen, assisting my father in various ways. 
I then went to live at the Squire s, partly as groom, 
partly as footman. After living in the country 
some time, I attended the family in a trip of six 

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weeks, which they made to London. Whilst there, 
happening to have some words with an old ill- 
tempered coachman, who had heen for a great many 
years in the family, my master advised me to leave, 
offering to recommend me to a family of his 
acquaintance who were in need of a footman. I 
was glad to accept his offer, and in a few days went 
to my new place. My new master was one of the 
great gentry, a haronet in Parliament, and pos- 
sessed of an estate of ahout twenty thousand a 
year; his family consisted of his lady, a son, a 
fine young man, just coming of age, and two very 
sweet amiahle daughters. I liked this place much 
better than my first, there was so much more 
pleasant noise and hustle — so much more grand 
company, and so many more opportunities of 
improving myself. Oh, how I Uked to see the 
grand coaches drive up to the door, with the grand 
company ; and though, amidst that company, there 
weye some who did not look very grand, there were 
others, and not a few, who did. Some of the ladies 
quite captivated me; there was the Mcmjhioness 
of .... in particular. This young lady puts me 
much in mind of her; it is true, the Marchioness, 

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as I saw her then, was about fifteen years older 
than this young gentlewoman is now, and not so 
tall by some inches, but she had the very same 
hair, and much the same neck and shoulders — no 
ofience, I hope ? And then some of the young 
gentlemen, with their cool, haughty, care-for- 
nothing looks, strack me as being very fine fellows. 
There was one in particular, whom I firequently 
used to stare at, not altogether unlike some one I 
have seen hereabouts— he had a slight cast in his 
eye, and .... but I won t enter into every par- 
ticular. And then the footmen! Oh, how those 
footmen helped to improve me with their conver- 
sation. Many of them could converse much more 
glibly than their masters, and appeared to have 
much better taste. At any rate, they seldom 
approved of what their masters did. I remember 
being once with one in the" gallery of the play- 
house, when something of Shakspeare's was being 
performed : some one in the first tier of boxes was 
applauding very loudly. 'That's my fool of a 
governor,* said he; 'he is weak euough to like 
Shakspeare — I don t ; — he *s so confoundedly low, 
but he won't last long — going down. Shakspeare 

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culminated — I think that was the word — cul- 
minated some time ago/ 

" And then the professor of elocution, of whom 
my governors used to take lessons, and of which 
lessons I had my share, by listening behind the 
door ; but for that professor of elocution I should 
not be able to round my periods — an expression of 
his — ^in the manner I do. 

" After I had been three years at this place, my 
mistress died. Her death, however, made no great 
alteration in my way of living, the family spending 
their winters in London, and their summers at 
their old seat in S .... as before. At last, the 
young ladies, who had not yet got husbands, 
which was strange enough, seeing, as I told you 
before, they were very amiable, proposed to our 
governor a travelling expedition abroad. The old 
baronet consented, though young master was much 
against it, saying they would all be much better at 
home. As the girls persisted, however, ha at last 
withdrew his opposition, and even promised to 
follow them as soon as his parliamentary duties 
would permit ; for he was just got into Parliament, 
and, like most other young members, thought that 

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nothing could be done in the House without him. 
So the old gentleman and the two young ladies set 
off, taking me with them, and a couple of ladies' 
maids to wait upon them. First of all, we went to 
Paris, where we continued three months, the old 
baronet and the ladies going to see the various 
sights of the city and the neighbourhood, and I 
attending them. They soon got tired of sight- 
seeing, and of Paris too ; and so did I. However, 
they still continued there, in order, I believe, that 
the young ladies might lay in a store of French 
finery. I should have passed my idle time at Paris, 
of which I had plenty after the sight-seeing was 
over, very unpleasantly, but for Black Jack. Eh ! 
'did you never hear of Black Jack? Ah! if you 
had ever been an Englisfa servant in Paris, you 
would have known Black Jack; not an English 
gentleman's servant who has been at Paris for this 
last ten years but knows Black Jack and his 
ordinary. A strange fellow he was — of what country 
no one could exactly say — for as for judging from 
speech, that was impossible. Jack speaking all 
languages, equally ill. Some said he came direct 
from Satan's kitchen, and that when he gives up 

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keeping ordinary, he will return there again, though 
the generally-received opinion at Paris was, that he 
was at one time butler to King Pharaoh ; and that, 
after lying asleep for four thousand years in a place 
called the Kattycombs, he was awaked by the sound 
of Nelson's cannon at the battle of the Nile, and 
going to the shore, took on with the admiral, and 
became, in course of time, ship steward ; and that 
after Nelson^s death he was captured by the French, 
on board one of whose vessels he served in a some- 
what similar capacity till the peace, when he came 
to Paris, and set up an ordinary for servants, 
sticking the name of Katcomb over the door, in 
allusion to the place where he had his long sleep. 
But, whatever his origin was, Jack kept his own 
counsel, and appeared to care nothing for what 
people said about him, or called him. Yes, I 
forgot, there was one name he would not be called, 
and that was ' Portuguese.' I once saw Black Jack 
knock down a coachman, six foot high, who called 
him black-faced Portuguese. 'Any name but dat, 
you shab,* said Black Jack, who was a little round 
fellow, of about five feet two; *I would not stand to 
be called Portuguese by Nelson himself Jack 

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384 phabaoh's butler. [Ch. xxxi. 

was rather fond of talking about Nelson, and hear- 
ing people talk about him, so that it is not 
improbable that he may have sailed with him; 
and with respect to his having been King Pharaoh's 
butler, all I have to say is, I am not disposed to 
give the downright lie to the report. Jack was 
always ready to do a kind turn to a poor servant 
out of place, and has often been known to assist 
such as were in prison, which charitable disposition 
he perhaps acquired from having lost a good place 
himself, having seen the inside of a prison, and 
known the want of a meal's victuals, all which trials 
King Pharaoh's butler underwent, so he may have 
been that butler ; at any rate, I have known posi- 
tive conclusions come to on no better premises, if 
indeed as good. As for the story of his coming 
direct from Satan's kitchen, I place no ct)nfidence 
in it at all, as Black Jack had nothing of Satan 
about him but blackness, on which account he was 
called Black Jack. Nor am I disposed to give 
credit to a report that his hatred of the Portuguese 
arose from some ill treatment which he had once 
experienced when on shore, at Lisbon, from certain 
gentlewomen of the place, but rather conclude that 

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it arose from an opinion he entertained that the 
Portuguese never paid their dehts, one of the 
ambeissadors of that nation, whose house he had 
served, having left Paris several thousand francs in 
his debt. This is all that I have to say about 
Blackjack, without whose funny jokes, and good 
ordinary, I should have passed my time in Paris in 
a very disconsolate manner. 

" After we had been at Paris between two and 
three months, we left it in the direction of Italy, 
which country the family had a great desire to see. 
After travelling a great many days in a thing 
which, though called a dihgence, did not exhibit 
much diligence, we came to a great big town, 
seated around a nasty salt-water bason, connected 
by a narrow passage with the sea. Here we were 
to embark j and so we did as soon as possible, 
glad enough to get away — at least I was, and so I 
make no doubt were the rest, for such a place for 
bad smells I never was in. It seems all the drains 
and setters of the place run into that same salt 
bason, voiding into it all their impuip4;iea, which, 
not being able to escape into the sea in any con-^ 
siderable quantity, owing to the narrowne^ of the 

VOL. III. s 

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entrance, there accumulate^ filling the whole atmo- 
sphere with these same outrageous scents^ on which 
account the town is a famous lodging-house of the 
plague. The ship in which we emharked was 
bound for a place in Italy called Naples, where we 
were to stay some time. The voyage was rather a 
lazy one, the ship not being moved by steam ; for 
at the time of which I am speaking, some five years 
ago, steam-ships were not so plentiful as now. 
There were only two passengers in the grand 
cabin, where my governor and his daughters were, 
an Italian lady and a priest. Of the lady I have 
not much to say ; she appeared to be a quiet re- 
spectable person enough, and after our arrival at 
Naples, I neither saw nor heard anything more of 
her ; but of the priest I shall have a good deal to 
say in the sequel, (that, by the by, is a word I 
learnt firom the professor of rhetoric,) and it would 
have been well for our family had they never met 

*' On the third day of the voyage the priest came 
to me, who was rather unwell with sea-sickness, 
which he, of course felt nothing of — that kind of 
people being never affected like others. He was a 

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finish-looking man of about forty-five, but had 
something strange in his eyes, which I have sinc6 
thought denoted that all was not right in a certain 
place called the heart. After a few words of con- 
dolence, in a broken kind of English, he asked me 
various questions about our family ; and I, won by 
his seeming kindness, told him all I knew about 
them — of which communicativeness I afterwards 
very much repented. As soon as he had got out 
of me all he desired, he left me ; and I observed 
that during the rest of the voyage he was wonder- 
fully attentive to our governor, and yet more to the 
young ladies. Both, however, kept him rather at a 
distance ; the young ladies were reserved, and once 
or twice I heard our governor cursing him between 
his teeth for a sharking priest. The priest, how- 
ever, was not disconcerted, and continued his atten- 
tions, which in a little time produced an efiect, so 
that, by the time we landed at Naples, our great 
folks had conceived a kind of liking for the man, 
and when they took their leave invited him to visijt 
them, which he promised to do. We hired a grand 
house or palace at Naples ; it belonged to a poor 
kind of prince, who was glad enough to let it to 

s 2 

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our governor, and also his servants and carriages ; 
and glad enough were the poor servants, for they 
got from us what they never got from the prince — 
plenty of meat and money; and glad enough, I 
make no douht, were the horses for the provender 
we gave them ; and I dare say the coaches were not 
sorry to he cleaned and furhished up. Well, we 
went out and came in ; going to see the sights, and 
returning. Amongst other things we saw was the 
huming mountain, and the tomh of a certain sor- 
cerer called Virgilio, who made witch rhymes, by 
which he could raise the dead. Plenty of people 
came to see us, both English and Italians, and 
amongst the rest the priest. He did not come 
amongst the first, hut allowed us to settle and 
become a little quiet before he showed himself; 
and after a day or two he paid us another visit, then 
another, till at last his visits were daily. 

" I did not like that Jack Priest ; so T kept my eye 
upon all his motions. Lord ! how that Jack Priest 
did curry favour with our governor and the two 
young ladies ; and he curried, and curried, till he 
had got himself into favour with the governor, and 
more especially with the two young ladies, of whom 

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their father was doatingly fond. At last the ladies 
took lessons in Italian of the priest, a language in 
which he was said to he a grand proficient, and" of 
which they had hitherto known hut very little; and 
from that time his influence over them, and conse- 
quently over the old governor, increased, till the 
tables were turned, and he no longer curried favour 
with them, but they with him — yes, as true as my 
leg aches, the young ladies curried, and the old 
governor curried favour with that same Priest; 
when he was with them, they seemed almost to 
hang on his lips, that is, the young ladies ; and as 
for the old governor, he never contradicted him, 
and when the fellow was absent, which, by the by, 
was not often, it was, * Father so-and-so said this, 
and Father so-and-so said that ; Father so-and-so 
thinks we should do so-and-so, or that we should 
not do so-and-so/ I at first thought that he must 
have given them something, some philtre or the like; 
but one of the EngUsh maid-servants, who had a 
kind of respect for me, and who saw much more 
behind the scenes than I did, informed me that he 
was continually instilling strange notions into their 
heads, striving, by every possible method, to make 

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them despise the religion of their own land, and 
take up that of the foreign country in which they 
were. And sure enough, in a little time, the girls 
had altogether left off going to an English chapel, 
and were continually visiting places of Italian 
worship. The old governor, it is true, still went to 
his church, hut he appeared to he hesitating between 
two opinions ; and once, when he was at dinner, he 
said to two or three English friends, that since he 
had become better acquainted with it, he had con- 
ceived a much more favourable opinion of the 
Catholic religion than he had previously enter- 
tained. In a word, the priest ruled the house, and 
everything was done according to his will and plea- 
sure ; by degrees he persuaded the young ladies to 
drop their English acquaintances, whose place he 
supplied with Italians, chiefly females. My poor 
old governor would not have had a person to speak 
to — for he never could learn the language — but for 
two or three Englishmen who used to come occa- 
sionally and take a bottle with him in a summer- 
house, whose company he could not be per- 
suaded to resign, notwithstanding the entreaties of 
his daughters, instigated by the priest, whose grand 

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Ch. XXXI.] HOLY MARY. 891 

endeavour seemed to be to render the minds of all 
three foolish, for his own ends. And if he was 
busy above stairs with the governor, there was 
another busy below with us poor English servants, 
a kind of subordinate priest, a low Italian ; as he 
could speak no language but his own, he was con- 
tinually jabbering to us in that, and by hearing 
him the maids and myself contrived to pick up a 
good deal of the language, so that we understood 
most that was said, and could speak it very fairly ; 
and the themes of his jabber were the beauty and 
virtues of one whom he called Holy Mary, and the 
power and grandeur of one whom he called the 
Holy Father ; and he told us that we should 
shortly have an opportunity of seeing the Holy 
Father, who could do anything he liked with Holy 
Mary : in the mean time we had plenty of oppor- 
tunities of seeing Holy Mary, for in every church, 
chapel, and convent to which we were taken, there 
was an image of Holy Mary, who, if the images 
were dressed at all in her fashion, must have been 
very fond of short petticoats and tinsel, and who, if 
those said figures at all resembled her in face, could 
scarcely have been half as handsome as either of 

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my two fellow-servants, not to speak of the young 

"Now it happened that one of the female servants 
was much taken with what she saw and heard, and 
gave herself up entirely to the will of the suhordi- 
nate, who had quite as much dominion over her as 
his superior had over the ladies ; the other maid, 
however, the one who had a kind of respect for me, 
was not so easily hesotted ; she used to laugh at 
what she saw, and at what the fellow told her, and 
from her I learnt that amongst other things 
intended by these priestly confederates was robbery; 
she said that the poor old governor had already 
been persuaded Jby his daughters to put more than a 
thousand pounds into the superior priest s hands for 
purposes of charity and religion, as was said, and 
that the subordinate one had aheady inveigled her 
felloW'Servant out of every penny which she had 
saved from her wages, and had endeavoured likewise 
to obtain what money she herself had, but in vain. 
With respect to myself, the fellow shortly after 
made an attempt towards obtaining a hundred 
crowns, of which, by some means, he knew me to 
be in possession, telling me what a meritorious thing 

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it was to give one's superfluities for the purposes of 
religion. * That is true/ said I, * and if, after my 
return to my native country, I find I have anything 
which I don t want myself, I will employ it in help- 
ing to huild a Methodist chapel.' 

" By the time that the three months were expired 
for which we had hired the palace of the needy 
Prince, the old governor began to talk of returning 
to England, at least of leaving Italy, I believe he 
had become frightened at the calls which were 
continually being made upon him for money; for 
after all, you know, if there is a sensitive part of a 
man's wearing apparel, it is his breeches pocket; 
but the young ladies could not think of leaving 
dear Italy and the dear priest ; and then they had 
seen nothing of the country, they had only seen 
Naples; before leaving dear Italia they must see 
more of the country and the cities; above all, they 
must see a place which they called the Eternal City, 
or some similar nonsensical name; and they per- 
sisted so that the poor governor permitted them, 
as usual, to have their way; and it was decided what 
route they should, take — that is, the priest was kind 
enough to decide for them, and was also kind 

s 3 

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enoQgb to promise to go with them part of the 
route, as far as a place where there was a wonderfiil 
figure of Holy Mary, which the priest said it was 
highly necessary for them to see before visiUng the 
Eternal City: so we left Naples in hired carriages, 
driven by fellows they call veturini, cheating drunken 
dogs, I remember they were. Besides our own 
family there was the priest and his subordinate, and 
a couple of hired lackeys. We were several days 
upon the journey, travelling through a very wild 
country, which the ladies pretended to be delighted 
with, and which the governor cursed on account of 
the badness of the roads ; and when we came to any 
particularly wild spot we used to stop, in order to 
enjoy the scenery, as the ladies said; and then we 
would spread a horse-cloth on the ground, and eat 
bread and cheese, and drink wine of the country. 
And some of the holes and comers in which we 
bivouacked, as the ladies called it, were something 
like this place where we are now, so that when I 
eame down here it put me in mind of them. At 
last we arrived at the place where was the holy 

" We went to the house or chapel in which the 

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holy image was kept — a frightful ugly black figure 
of Holy Mary, dressed in her usual way ; and after 
we had stared at the figure, and some of our party 
had bowed down to it, we were shown a great many 
things which were called holy relics, which consisted 
of thumb-nails, and fore-nails, and toe-nails, and 
hair and teeth, and a feather or two, and a mighty 
thigh-bone, but whether of a man or a camel, I can't 
say; all of which things, I was told, if properly 
touched and handled, had mighty power to cure all 
kinds of disorders. And as we went from the holy 
house, we saw a man in a state of great excitement: 
he was foaming at the mouth, and cursing the holy 
image and all its household, because, after he had 
worshipped it and made offerings to it, and besought 
it to assist him in a game of chance which he was 
about to play, it had left him in the lurch, allowing 
him to lose all his money. And when I thought 
of all the rubbish I had seen, and the purposes 
which it was applied to, in conjunction with the 
rage of the losing gamester at the deaf and dumb 
image, I could not help comparing the whole with 
what my poor brother used to tell me of the super- 

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stitions practices of the blacks on the high Barbary 
shore, and their occasional rage and fbry at the 
things they worshipped; and I said to myself if 
all this here doesn't smell of fetish may I smell 

"At this place the priest left ns, retnming to 
Naples with his subordinate, on some particular 
business, I suppose. It was, however, agreed that 
he should visit us at the Holy City. We did not 
go direct to the Holy City, but bent our course to 
two or three other cities which the family were 
desirous of seeing; but as nothing occurred to us in 
these places of tiny particular interest, I shall take 
the liberty of passing them by in silence. At length 
we arrived at the Eternal City: an immense city it 
was, looking as if it had stood for a long time, and 
would stand for a long time still ; compared with it, 
London would look like a mere assemblage of bee- 
skeps ; however, give me the bee-skeps with their 
merry hum and bustle^ and life and honey, rather 
than that huge town, which looked like a sepulchre, 
where there was no life, no busy hum, no bees, but 
a scanty sallow population, intermixed with black 

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priests, white priests, grey priests; and though I 
don't say there was no honey in the place, for I 
helieve there was, I am ready to take my Bihle oath 
that it was not made there, and that the priests kept 
it all for themselves." 

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"The day after our arrival," continued the pos- 
tillion, " I was sent, under the guidance of a lackey 
of the place, with a letter, which the priest, when 
he left, had given us for a friend of his in the Eter- 
nal City. We went to a large house, and on ring- 
ing were admitted hy a porter into a cloister, where 
I saw some ill-looking, shahhy young fellows walk- 
ing ahout, who spoke English to one another. To 
one of these the porter delivered the letter, and the 
young fellow going away, presently returned and 
told me to follow him; he led me into a large room, 
where, behind a table, on which were various papers, 
and a thing which they call, in that country, a 
crucifix, sat a man in a kind of priestly dress. The 
lad having opened the door for me, shut it behind 
me, and went away. The man behind the table 

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was SO engaged in reading the letter which I had 
brought, that at first he took no notice of me ; he 
had red hair, a kind of half-English countenance, 
and was seemingly about five- and- thirty. After a 
little time he laid the letter down, appeared to con- 
sider a moment, and then opened his mouth with a 
strange laugh, not a loud laugh, for I heard nothing 
but a kind of hissing deep down the throat ; all of 
a sudden, howeyer, perceiving me, he gave a slight 
start, but instantly recovering himself, he inquired 
in English concerning the health of the family, and 
where we hved : on my delivering him a card, he 
bade me inform my master and the ladies that in the 
course of the day he would do himself the honour 
of waiting upon them. He then arose and opened 
the door for me to depart. The man was perfectly 
civil and courteous, but I did not like that strange 
laugh of his, after having read the letter. He was 
as good as his word, and that same day paid us a 
visit. It was now arranged that we should pass the 
winter in Rome — to my great annoyance, for I 
wished to return to my native land, being heartily 
tired of everything connected with Italy. I was 
not, however, without hope that our young master 

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would shortly arrive, when I trusted that matters, as 
far as the family were concerned, would he put on 
a hetter footing. In a few days our new acquaint- 
ance, who, it seems, was a mongrel Englishman, 
had procured a house for our accommodation; it was 
large enough, hut not near so pleasant as that 
we had at Naples, which was hght and airy, with a 
large garden. This was a dark gloomy structure 
in a narrow street, with a frowning church heside it; 
it was not far from the* place where our new 
friend lived, and its heing so was prohahly the rea- 
son why he selected it. It was furnished partly 
with articles which we hought, and partly with 
those which we hired. We lived something in the 
same way as at Naples ; hut though I did not much 
like Naples, I yet liked it hetter than this place, 
which was so gloomy. Our new acquaintance made 
himself as agreeahle as he could, conducting the 
ladies to churches and convents, and frequently 
passing the afternoon drinking with the governor, 
who was fond of a glass of hrandy and water and 
a cigar, as the new acquaintance also was — no, 
[ rememher, he was fond of gin and water, and 
did not smoke. I don't think he had so much in- 

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fluence over the young ladies as the other priest, 
which was, perhaps, owing to his not being so good 
looking ; but I am sure he had more influence with 
the governor, owing, doubtless, to his bearing him 
company in drinking mixed liquors, which the 
other priest did not do. 

" He was a strange fellow, that same new ac- 
quaintance of ours, and unlike all the priests I saw 
in that country, and I saw plenty of various nations : 
— ^they were always upon their guard, and had their 
features and voice modulated; but this man was 
subject to fits of absence, during which he would 
frequently mutter to himself, then, though he was 
perfectly civil to everybody, as far as words went, I 
observed that he entertained a thorough contempt 
for most people, especially for those whom be was 
making dupes. I have observed him whilst drink- 
ing with our governor, when the old man's head was 
turned, look at him with an air which seemed to- 
say, ' What a thundering old fool you are ; ' and at 
our young ladies, when their backs were turned, 
with a glance which said distinctly enough, ' You 
precious pair of ninnyhammers ; ' and then his 
laugh — he had two kinds of laughs — one which 

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you could hear, and another which you could only 
see. I have seen him laugh at our governor and 
the young ladies, when their heads were turned 
away, hut I heard no sound. My mother had a 
sandy cat, which sometimes used to open its mouth 
wide with a mew which nobody could hear, and the 
silent laugh of that red-haired priest used to put 
me wonderfully in mind of the silent mew of my 
mothers sandy-red cat. And then the other laugh, 
which you co]ild hear; what a strange laugh that 
was, never loud, yes, I have heard it tolerably loud. 
He once passed near me, after having taken leave 
of a silly English fellow — a limping parson of the 
name of Platitude, who, they said, was thinking of 
turning Papist, and was much in his company; I 
was standing behind the pillar of a piazza, and as 
he passed he was laughing heartily. he was a 
strange fellow, that same red-haired acquaintance 
of ours ! 

'^ After we had been at Eome about six weeks, 
our old friend the priest of Naples arrived, but 
without his subordinate, for whose services he now 
perhaps thought that he had no occasion. I believe 
he found matters in our family wearing almost as 

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favourable an aspect as he could desire : with what 
he had previously taught them and shown them at 
Naples and elsewhere, and with what the red-haired 
confederate had taught them and shown them at 
Borne, the poor young ladies had become quite 
handmaids of superstition, so that they, especially 
the youngest, were prepared to bow down to any- 
thing, and kiss anything, however vile and ugly, 
provided a priest commanded them ; and as for the 
old governor, what with the influence which his 
daughters exerted, and what with the ascendancy 
which the red-haired man had obtained over him, 
he dared not say his purse, far less his soul, was his 
own. Only think of an Englishman not being 
master of his own purse ! My acquaintance, the 
lady's maid, assured me that, to her certain know- 
ledge, he had disbursed to the red-haired man, for 
purposes of charity, as it was said, at least one 
thousand pounds during the five weeks we had been 
at Bome. She also told me that thiags would 
shortly be brought to a conclusion — and so indeed 
they were, though in a different manner from what 
she and I and some other people imagined; that 
there was to be a grand festival, and a mass, at 

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which we were to be present, after which the family 
were to be presented to the Holy Father, for so 
those two priestly sharks had managed it; and then 

she said she was certain that the two 

ladies, and perhaps the old governor, would forsake 
the religion of their native land, taking up with that 
of these foreign regions, for so my fellow-servant ex- 
pressed it, and that perhaps attempts might be made 
to induce us poor English servants to take up with 
the foreign religion, that is herself and me, for as 
for our fellow-servant, the other maid, she wanted 
no inducing, being disposed body and soul to go 
over to it. Whereupon, I swore with an oath that 
nothing should induce me to take up with the foreign 
religion; and the poor maid, my fellow-servant, 
bursting into tears, said that for her part she would 
sooner die than have anything to do with it ; there- 
upon we shook hands and agreed to stand by and 
countenance one another : and moreover, provided 
our governors were fools enough to go over to the 
religion of these here foreigners, we would not 
wait to be asked to do the like, but leave them at 
once, and make the best of our way home, even if 
we were forced to beg on the road. 

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" At last the day of the grand festival came, and 
we were all to go to the big church to hear the 
mass. Now it happened that for some time past 
I had been much afficted with melancholy, espe- 
cially when I got up of a morning, produced by 
the strange manner in which I saw things going 
on in our family; and to dispel it in some degree, 
I had been in the habit of taking a dram before 
breakfast. On the morning in question, feeling 
particularly low spirited when I thought of the 
foolish step our governor would probably take 
before evening, I took two drams before breakfast ; 
and after breakfast, feeh'ng my melancholy still 
continuing, I took another, which produced a slight 
effect upon my head, though I am convinced no- 
body observed it. 

" Away we drove to the big church ; it was a dark 
misty day, I remember, and very cold, so that if 
anybody had noticed my being slightly in liquor, 
I could have excused myself by saying that I had 
merely taken a glass to fortify my constitution 
against the weather; and of one thing I am certain, 
which is, diat such an excuse would have stood me in 
stead with our governor, who looked, I thought, as if 

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he had taken one too ; hut I may he mistaken, 
and why should I notice him, seeing that he took 
no notice of me: so away we drove to the hig 
church, to which all the population of the place 
appeared to he moving. 

" On arriving there we dismounted, and the two 
priests, who were with us, led the family in, whilst 
I followed at a little distance, hut quickly lost 
them amidst the throng of people. I made my way, 
however, though in what direction I knew not, 
except it was one in which everyhody seemed 
striving, and hy dint of elbowing and pushing, I 
at last got to a place which looked like the aisle 
of a cathedral, where the people stood in two 
rows, a space hetween being kept open by certain 
strangely-dressed men who moved up and down 
with rods in their hands; all were looking to the 
upper end of this place or aisle ; and at the upper 
end, separated from the people by palings like those 
of an altar, sat in magnificent-looking stalls, on the 
right and the left, various wonderful-looking in- 
dividuals in scarlet dresses. At the farther end 
was what appeared to be an altar, on the left hand 
was a pulpit, and on the right a stall higher than 

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any of the rest, where was a figure whom I could 
scarcely see. 

" I can't pretend to describe what I saw exactly, 
for my head, which was at first rather flurried, had 
become more so jfrom the efforts which I had made 
to get through the crowd ; also jfrom certain sing- 
ing, which proceeded fi-om I know not where ; and, 
above all, jfrom the bursts of an organ, which were 
occasionally so loud that I thought the roof, which 
was painted with wondrous colours, would come 
toppling down on those below. So there stood I — a 
poor English servant — in that outlandish place, in 
the midst of that foreign crowd, looking at that 
oudandish sight, hearing those outlandish sounds, 
and occasionally glancing at our party, which, by 
this time, I distinguished at the opposite side to 
where I stood, but much nearer the place where 
the red figures sat. Yes, there stood our poor 
governor, and the sweet young ladies, and I 
thought they never looked so handsome before; 
and close by them were the sharking priests, and 
not far from them was that idiotical parson Plati- 
tude, winking and grinning, and occasionally lift- 
ing up his hands as if in extasy at what he saw. 

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and heard^ so that he drew upon himself the notice 
of the congregation. 

** And now an individual mounted the pulpit, and 
began to preach in a language which I did not 
understand, hut which I believe to be Latin, ad- 
dressing himself seemingly to the figure in the 
stall; and when he had ceased, there was more 
singing, more organ -playing, and then two men 
in robes brought forth two things which they held 
up ; and then the people bowed their heads, and our 
poor governor bowed his head, and the sweet young 
ladies bowed their heads, and the sharking priests, 
whilst the idiotical parson Platitude tried to fling 
himself down ; and then there were various evolu- 
tions withinside the pale, and the scarlet figures 
got up and sat down ; and this kind of thing con- 
tinued for some time. At length the figure which 
I had seen in the principal stall came forth and 
advanced towards the people ; an awful figure he 
was, a huge old man with a sugar-loaf hat, with a 
sulphur-coloured dress, and holding a crook in his 
hand like that of a shepherd ; and as he advanced 
the people fell on their knees, our poor old go- 
vernor amongst them; the sweet young ladies, the 

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Ch. XXXII.] I dok't carb for you, 409 

sharking priests, the idiotical parson Platitude, all 
fell on their knees, and somebody or other tried to 
pull me on my knees ; but by this time I had be- 
oome outrageous ; all that my poor brother used to 
tell me of the superstitions of the high Barbary 
shore rushed into my mind, and I thought they 
were acting them over here ; above all, the idea that 
the sweet young ladies, to say nothing of my poor 
old governor, were, after the conclusion of all this 
mummery, going to deliver themselves up body 
and soul into the power of that horrid-looking 
old man, maddened me, and, rushing forward into 
the open space, I ponjfronted the honible- looking 
old figure with the sugar-loaf hat, the sulphur- 
coloured garments, and shepherd's crook, and 
shaking my fist at his nose, I bellowed out in 

" ' I don't care for you, old Mumbo Jumbo, 
though you have fetish ! ' 

" I can scarcely tell you what occurred for some 
time. I have a dim recollection that hands were 
laid upon me, and that I struck out violently left 
and right. On coming to myself, I was seated on 
a stone bench in a large room, something like a 


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guard-room^ in the custody of certain fellows dressed 
like Merry Andrews ; they were blujBP^ good-looking, 
wholesome fellows, very different from the sallow 
Italians ; they were looking at me attentively, and 
occasionally talking to each other in a language 
which sounded very like the cracking of walnuts 
in the mouth, very different from cooing Italian. 
At last one of them asked me in Italian what had 
ailed me, to which I replied, in an incoherent man- 
ner, something about Mumbo Jumbo; whereupon 
the fellow, one of the bluffest of the lot, a jovial 
rosy-faced rascal, lifted up his right hand, placing 
it in such a manner that the lips were between the 
fore-finger and thumb, then lifting up his right foot 
and drawing back his head, he sucked in his breath 
with a hissing sound, as if to imitate one drinking a 
hearty draught, and then slapped me on the shoulder, 
saying something which sounded like goot wine, goot 
companion, whereupon they all laughed, exclaiming, 
ya, ya, goot companion. And now hurried into the 
room our poor old governor, with the red-haired 
priest. The first asked what could have induced me 
to behave in such a manner in such a place, to 
which I replied that I was not going to bow down 

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to Mumbo Jumbo, whatever other people might do. 
Whereupon my master said he believed I was mad, 
and the priest said he believed I was drunk; to 
which I answered that I was neither so mad nor 
drunk but I could distinguish how the wind lay. 
Whereupon they left me, and in a little time I was 
told by the bluff-looking Merry Andrews I was at 
liberty to depart. I believe the priest, in order 
to please my governor, interceded for me in high 

" But one good resulted from this affair ; there 
was no presentation of our family to the Holy 
Father, for old Mumbo was so frightened by my 
outrageous looks that he was laid up for a week, 
as I was afterwards informed. 

" I went home, and had scarcely been there half 
an hour when I was sent for by the governor, who 
again referred to the scene in church, said that he 
could not tolerate such scandalous behaviour, and 
that unless I promised to be more circumspect in 
ftiture, he should be compelled to discharge me. 
I said that if he was scandalized at my behaviour 
in the church, I was more scandalized at all I 
saw going on in the family, which was governed 

T 2 

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by two rascally priests, vrho, not Content with 
plundering him, appeared bent on hurrying the 
souls of us all to destlxiotion ; and that -with re- 
spect to discharging me, he oould do so that mo- 
ment, as I wished to go. I beliere his own reason 
told him that I was right, for he made no direct 
answer, but, after looking on the ground for some 
time, he told me to leaye him. As he did not tell 
me to leave the house, I went to my room, intend- 
ing to lie down for an hour or two ; but scarcely 
wa6 I there when the door opened, and in came the 
red-haired priest. He showed himself, as he always 
did, perfectly civil, asked me how I was, took a« 
chair and sat down. After a hem or two he en- 
tered into a long conversation on the excellence of 
what he called the Catholic religion ; told me that 
he hoped I would not set myself against the light, 
and likewise against my interest; for that the 
family were about to embrace the Oatholic religion, 
and would make it worth my while to follow their 
example. I told him that the family might do 
|rhat they pleased, but that I would never forsake 
the religion of my country for any consideration 
whatever; that I was nothing but a poor servants 

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but I was not to be bought by base gold. 'I 
admire your honourable feelings/ said he, *you 
shall have no gold ; and as I see you are a fellow - 
of spirit, and do not like being a servant, for which 
I commend you, I can promise you something 
better. I have a good deal of influence in this 
place, and if you will not set your face against 
the light, but embrace the Catholic religion, I will 
undertake to make your fortune. You remember 
those fine fellows to-day who took you into custody, 
they are the guards of his Holiness. I have no 
doubt that I have interest enough to procure your 
enrolment amongst them.* 'What,' said I, 'be^ 
come swash-buckler to Mumbo Jumbo up here! 
May I . . . .' — and here I swore — Vif I do. The mere 
possibility of one of their children being swash- 
buckler to Mumbo Jumbo on the high Barbary 
shore has always been a source of heart-breaking 
to my poor parents. What, then, would they not 
undergo, if they knew for certain that their other 
child was swash-buckler to Mumbo Jumbo up 
here ?' Thereupon he asked me, even as you did 
some time ago, what I meant by Mumbo Jumbo ? 
And I told him all I had heard about the Mumbo 

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Jumbo of the high Barbflxy shore; telling him 
that I had no doubt that the old fellow np here was 
his brother, or nearly related to him. The man 
with the red hair listened with the greatest atten* 
tion to all I said, and when I had concluded, he 
got up, nodded to me, and moved to the door; ere 
he reached the door I saw his shouldei^ shaking, 
and as he closed it behind him I heard him dis- 
tinctlj laughing, to the tune of — he ! he ! he I 

" But now matters began to mend. That same 
evening my young master unexpectedly arrived. I 
believe he soon perceived that something extraordi* 
nary had been going on in the family. He was for 
some time closeted with the governor, with whom, 
T believe, he had a dispute ; for my fellow-servant, 
the ladies' maid, informed me that she heard high 

" Bather late at night the young gentleman sent 
for me into his room, and asked me various ques- 
tions with respect to what had been going on, and 
my behaviour in the church, of which he had heard 
something. I told him all I knew with respect to 
the intrigues of the two priests in the family, and 
gave him a circumstantial account of all that had 

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occurred in the church; adding that, under similar 
circumstances, I was ready to play the same par^ 
over again. Instead of blaming me, he commended 
my behaviour^ told me I was a fine fellow, and said 
he hoped that, if he wanted my assistance, I would 
stand by him : this I promised to do. Before I 
left him^ he entreated me to inform him the 
very next time I saw the priests entering the 

** The next morning, as I was in the court-yard, 
where I had placed myself to watch, I saw the two 
enter and make their way up a private stair to the 
young ladies' apartment; they were attended by a 
man dressed something like a priest, who bore a 
large box; I instantly ran to relate what I had 
seen to my young master. I found him shaving. 
* I will just finish what I am about,* said he, ' and 
then wait upon these gentlemen.* He finished what 
he was about with great deliberation ; then taking 
a horsewhip, and bidding me follow him, he pro- 
ceeded at once to the door of his sisters* apartment: 
finding it fastened, he burst it open at once with his 
foot and entered, followed by myself. There wo 
beheld the two unfortunate young ladies down on 

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their knees before a large female doll, dressed up, 
as usual, in rags and tinsel ; the two priests were 
standing near, one on either side, with their hands 
uplifted, whilst the fellow who brought the trum- 
pery stood a little way down the private stair, 
the door of which stood open; without a moment's 
hesitation, my young master rushed forward, gave 
the image a cut or two with his horsewhip — then 
flying at the priests, he gave them a sound flogging, 
kicked them down the private stair, and spumed the 
man, box and image after them — then locking the 
door, he gave his sisters a fine sermon, in which he 
represented to them their folly in worshipping a silly 
wooden graven image, which, though it had eyes, 
could see not; though it had ears, could hear not; 
though it had hands, could not help itself; and 
though it had feet, could not move about unless it 
were carried. Oh, it was a fine sermon that my 
young master preached, and sorry I am that the 
Father of the Fetish, old Mumbo, did not hear it. 
The elder sister looked ashamed, but the youngest, 
who was very weak, did nothing but wring her 
hands, weep and bewail the injury which had been 
done to the dear image. The young man , how- 

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ever, -without paying much regard to either of them* 
went to his father, with whom he had a long con- 
Tersation, which terminated in the old governor 
giving orders for preparations to he made for the 
family's leaving Borne and returning to England. 
I believe that the old governor was glad of his son's 
arrival, and rejoiced at the idea of getting away 
from Italy, where he had been so plundered and 
imposed upon. The priests, however, made another 
attempt upon the poor young ladies. By the 
connivance of the female servant who was in their 
interest they found their way once more into their 
apartment, bringing with them the fetish image, 
whose body they partly stripped, exhibiting upon it 
certain sanguine marks which they had daubed upon 
it with red paint, but which they said were the re- 
sult of the lashes which it had received from the 
horsewhip. The youngest girl beUeved all they 
said, and kissed and embraced the dear image ; but 
the eldest, whose eyes had been opened by her 
brother, to whom she was much attached, behaved 
with proper dignity; for, going to the door, she 
called the female servant who had a respect for me, 
and in her presence reproached the two deceivers 

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for their various impudent cheats, and especially for 
this their last attempt at imposition ; adding, that 
if they did not forthwith withdraw and rid her 
sister and herself of their presence, she would send 
word hy her maid to her brother, who would 
presently take effectual means to expel them. They 
took the hint and departed^ and we saw no more of 

" At the end of three days we departed from 
Bome, but the maid whom the Priests had cajoled 
remained behind, and it is probable that the 
youngest of our ladies would have done the same 
thing if she could have had her own will, for she 
was continually raving about her image, and saying 
she should wish to live with it in a convent; but 
we watched the poor thing, and got her on board 
ship. Oh, glad was I to leave that fetish country 
and old Mumbo behind me ! " 

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** We axrived in England, and went to our country 
seat, but the peace and tranquillity of the family 
had been marred, and I no longer found my place 
the pleasant one which it had formerly been ; there 
was nothing but gloom in the house, for the youngest 
daughter exhibited signs of lunacy, and was obliged 
to be kept under confinement The next season I 
attended my master, his son, and eldest daughter to 
London, as I had previously done. There I left 
them, for hearing that a young baronet, an 
acquaintance of the family, wanted a servant, I 
applied for the place, with the consent of my 
masters, both of whom gave me a strong recom- 
mendation ; and, being approved of, I went to live 
with him. 

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" My new master was what is called a sporting 
character, very fond of the turf, upon which he was 
not very fortunate. He was frequently very much 
in want of money, and my wages were anything hut 
regularly paid; nevertheless, I liked him very 
much, for he treated mar more like a friend than a 
domestic, continually consulting me as to his 
aifairs. At length he was brought nearly to his 
last shifts, by backing the favourite at the Derby, 
which favourite turned out a regular brute, being 
found nowhere at the rush. Whereupon, he and I 
had a solemn consultation over fourteen passes of 
brandy and water, and as many cigars — I mean, 
between us-— as to what was to be done. He wished 
to start a coach, in which event he was to be driver, 
and I guard. He was quite competent to drive a 
coach, being a first-rate whip, and I dare say I 
should have made a first-rate guard ; but, to start 
a coach requires money, and we neither of us 
believed that anybody would trust us with vehicles 
and horses, so that idea was laid adde. We dies 
debated as to whether or not he should go into the 
Church ; but to go into the Church — at any rate to 
become a dean or bishop, which would have been 

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our aim — it is necessary for a man to possess some 
education; and my master, although he had been 
at the best school in England, that is, the most 
expensive, and also at College, was almost totally 
illiterate, so we let the Church scheme follow that 
of the coach. At last, bethinking me that he was 
tolerably glib at the tongue, as most people are 
who are addicted to the turf, also a great master of 
slang ; remembering also that he had a crabbed old 
uncle, who had some borough interest, I proposed 
that he should get into the House, promising in one 
fortnight to. qualify him to make a figure in it, by 
certain lessons which I would give him. He 
consented; and during the next fortnight I did 
little else than give him lessons in elocution, 
following to a tittle the method of the great 
professor, which I had picked up, listening be- 
hind the door. At the end of that period, we 
paid a visit to his relation, an old gouty Tory, 
who, at first, received us very coolly. My master, 
however, by flattering a predilection of his for BiUy 
Pitt, soon won his affections so much, that he pro- 
mised to bring him into Parliament ; and in less 
than a month was as good as his word. My 

VOL. III. u 

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master, partly by his own qualificatioiis^ and partly 
by the assistance which he had deriyed^ and still 
occasionally derived from me, cnt a wonderful figure 
in the House, and was speedily considered one of 
the most promising speakers ; he was always a good 
hand at promising — ^he is at present, I believe, a 
Cabinet minister. 

*'But as he got up in the world he began to look 
down on me. I believe he was ashamed of the 
obligation under which he lay to me ; and at last, 
requiring no farther hints as to oratory from a poor 
servant like me, he took an opportunity of quarrel- 
ling with me and discharging me. However, as he 
had sdU some grace, he recommended me to a 
gentleman with whom, since he had attached himself 
to politics, he had formed an acquaintance, the 
editor of a grand Tory Beview. I lost caste 
terribly amongst the servants for entering the 
service of a person connected with a profession so 
mean as literature; and it was proposed at the 
Servants' Club, in Park Lane, to eject me from that 
society. The proposition, however, was not carried 
into effect, and I was permitted to show myself, 
among them, though few condescended to take much 

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notice of me. My master was one of the best men 
in the worlds but also one of the most sensitiye. 
On his veracity being impugned by the editor of a 
newspaper, he called him out^ and shot him through 
the arm. Though servants are seldom admirers of 
their masters, I was a great admirer of mine, and 
eager to follow his example. The day after the 
encounter, on my veracity being impugned by the 
servant of Lord C . . . . in something I said in 
pndse of my master, I determined to call him 
out; so I went into another room and wrote a 
challenge. But whom should I send it by ? 
Several servants to whom I applied refused to be 
the bearers of it ; they said I had lost caste, and 
they could not think of going out with me. At 
length the servant of the Duke of B . . . consented 
to take it; but he made me to understand that, 
though he went out with me, he did so merely be- 
cause he despised the Whiggish principles of Lord 

. . . .'s servant, and that if I thought he intended 
to associate with me I should be mistaken. Politics, 

1 must tell you, at that time ran as high amongst 
the servants as the gentlemen, the servants, hoi^- 
ever, being almost invariably opposed to the politics 

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of their respeetire mastersy though hoth parties 
agreed in one point, the scouting of everything low 
and literary, though I think, of the two, the liberal 
or reform party were the most inveterate. So bo 
took my challenge, which was aceepted; we went 
out, Lord . . . /s servant being seconded by a 
reformado footman from the palace. We fired three 
times without effect; but- this affair lost me my 
place; my master on hearing it forthwith discharged 
me; he was, as I have said before, very sensitive, 
and he said this duel of mine was a parody of his 
own. Being, however, one of the best men in the 
world, on his discharging m>e he made me a donation 
of twenty pounds. 

" And it was well that he made me this present, 
for without it I should have been penniless, having 
. contracted rather expensive habits during the time 
that I lived witih the young baronet. I now deter- 
termined to visit my parents, whom I had not seen 
for years. I ftmnd them in good health, and, after 
staying with them for two tnonths, I returned again 
in the direction of town, walking, in order to see 
the country. On the second day of my journey, not 
being used to such fatigue, I fell iU at a great ina 

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on the north road^ and there I continaed for some 
weeks till Lreoovered, but by that time my money 
was entirely spent. By living at the inn I had 
contracted an acquaintance with the master and the 
people^ and become accusto^ied to inn life. As I 
thought that I might find some diflSculty in pro- 
curing any desirable situation in London, owing to 
my late connection witk literature, I determined to 
remain where I was, provided my services would be 
accepted. I offered them to the master, who, find- 
ing I knew something of horses, engaged me as a 
postillion. I have remained there since. You have 
now heard my story. 

" Stay, you sha n*t say that I told my tale with- 
out a per — ^peroration. What shall it be? Oh, I 
remember something which will serve for one. As 
I was driving my chaise some weeks ago, I saw 
standing at the gate of an avenue, which led 
up to an old mansion, a figure which I thought I 
recognised. I looked at it attentively, and the 
figure, as I passed, looked at me; whether it re- 
membered me I do not know, but I recognised the 
face it showed me full well. 

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" If it was not the identical face of the red- 
haired priest whom T had seen at Borne, may I 
catch cold ! 

" Young gentleman, I will now take a spdl on 
your blanket — young lady, good night." 


G. WoodOU and Son. Printers, Angd Court, Skinner Street, London. 

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" aeme B«mw : The M^/and HU V^mmtmm^^ 
y R. A. J, WaUiof, C«MdD. 65. net. 1 (what Wo Id 

Georg© Borrtow is not a man the J term ?)• he was a 
ation of whose career tends, as w^ l<>arned enthutTW^ 

Great nuggets have been cut ot 
snch as the story of AntoniOy of 
Moll, the raid thiough Galicia 
Asturias — l^ut one returns to 
and again, and finds it as incon 
as ever. There is no wearing 
this loitering. Its very purpoj 
is as impenetrable as life, *' Goo 
son Borrow/' exclaims tlie read 
nocturne, "let me follow you of so many modem writers, l'^^^'^^ ni^vi^T^lTTV?^^- He 
oach upon the attraction exercis/ f,;^'^;^ , ^f rx among the 

- gypsiologi*^ 
have said to 
an entliusiast. bi 


jMungoPark'amon^^^^^^^^ ^^ ^?^ ^^^ 

is work. This work, as a matter 
fully charged with that autobioj 
d clement which appeals with so 
tree to a self-conscious age. He 1 
resents his life to us in four pane 
ich panel is as unlike the other 1 
oil possible to be, alike in size, 
id quality of surface 
i much as that of an ordnaj 
ymetimes 25 inches to the 
jhcrs five miles to the inch.^ ' 
ances are artfully change^/) ' 
[X)n the palette mingled/^5>^* 
mes obtruded, at otheT^^j^J^ 

inspired the born 
terest in tJ 
and other 

^ gypsies, .. 

pPsy patrinrSr^^r ^^ln% 

interest of ifrdt-^Jf^Pired ih 
Riv-er Amazon. We ^„J^"?^^ ^« th 
lessors for the di^^^.'^^ff''-^ ^^^ ^''^ 

r? of the fasTi]i;«^"l:t.^^ ^^^^" 

jere is no mistaking/ 
Jiether he is writini 
id struggles C* Lav/' 
► 58), of one vivid 
' his early manhoj 

* ' Lavengro 

the crowninj 
^ The Gypsi< 
lain "), or 
»rivod fr( 
,^l^ du; 

-r . a picture of thfl fQo+ a" — " '* ^^ \s3in 

The seal/ ^lio spoke them/we iT^fri'S *^''« 
- - .course to the RomiL Rv/ ' ^*^" '''■ 
As to Borrows lf«7 i*®; 

tempt for "Keut^ ^ equivocal co„- 
hw inability .^ S&T"««''' and 
from bad, Sfr? wSg'i^^ «°°d verse 
thing that is richt tt.^^® ^^» ««ry- 
Pfrceives clearf;fev4'"*:/rP«-- He 
wholly convey (£ k Tj }^ <^°« not 

I«brication «S havT^^r^'*^ «»'' °f, 
charge of aridity in B^!.^" "^ 'o the E 
less hannv in 7,;7„i? ^iTow. w„ .-_ I . 



^ .lessly his occasional Kr., * ?'"'" need- |1<1 
V<^J vexations upset bi^'I^^B?.-LJAme 




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