Library illustrative of social progress. From the original editions

• CM
ICO
?CSl
10)

;O

io

Buckle, Henry Thomas (ed.)
Library illustrative of

social progress
v.5

ICD

v.5

The Estate of the Late
Professor J. E. Shaw

J

LIBRARY ILLUSTRATIVE OF SOCIAL PROGRESS.
FROM THE ORIGINAL EDITIONS

COLLECTED BY THE LATE

HENRY THOMAS BUCKLE,

AUTHOR OF

"A HISTORY OF CIVILIZATION IN ENGLAND."

No. 5.

Madame Birchini's Dance.

A MODERN TALE.

WITH CONSIDERABLE ADDITIONS,

AND

Original Anecdotes colle&ed in the Fafliionable Circles.

NOW FIRST PUBLISHED BY

LADY TERMAGANT FLAYBUM.

To fall at the feet of an imperious miflrefs, obey her ordersk
have pardons to afk her, were to me the fweeteft enjoyments.

Rouffeau's Confeffions, vol. I.

;Tis as great a provocative as Cantharides or Viper Broth, for
it irritates the blood, and gives new vigour to the flagging fpirits.

The Wanton Jefuit ; an Opera.

THE NINTH EDITION.

LONDON:

PRINTED FOR GEORGE PEACOCK
And SOLD at No. 66, DRURY-LANE.

V>6

To MRS, ROBINSON.

MADAM,

PERMIT a Sifter of the Cyprian Circle to lay
the following Bagatelle at your feet : you are unques-
tionably the firft favourite of Venus, and not the
meaneft in the Mufes' train. Thefe two envied dif-
tinctions induced me to claim your patronage, which
I am certain of obtaining before you get to the finis
of my delectable Tale. I have followed Nature
throughout, and the language of the Lecture of
Madame Birchini is fuch, you will allow, as is in
general ufe among the Sifterhood. — My Publifher
made many objections to his being concerned in it ;
talked of its tendency, his own delicacy, and a num-
ber of what would be thought, by fome, FORCIBLE
reafons : every one of which I fet afide by taking up
two Publications which lay in his window for fale, —
Here, my good Sir, is the CRAZY TALES, and here is
its twin Brother, entitled MORAL TALES!— the firfl

rubliflied

To MRS. ROBINSON.

>

publilhed by Mr. Dodfley, and the laft by Mr. Becket
— two Gentlemen diftinguifhed for iinaffcclcd piety and
rigid decorum ! Read thefe, I befeech you, and thei
give me a reafon for your delicacy. The Gentleman
was filent in an inftant — he committed my Poetic
trifle to prefs, and I have the higheft hopes of its
giving univerfal pleafure.

I am, Madam,

Your affectionate Sifter,

E. COXE.

Madam

Madam Birchini's Dance*

PEER (no matter of what place)
Married a buxom Lafs, eighteen ;
An Eye, a Smile, an Angel's face :
Such a fweet Charmer ne'er was feen !

His Lordfhip was but thirty-two,
But yet he could not pay the due
And forfeit of the Bond he'd fign'd —
Which difcompofed the Lady's mind !

'Fore Marriage, it was whifper'd round

What feats in arms he had achiev'd :
No Monk in Europe could be found

Of greater Prowefs, all believ'd !
A Pudding in a Pot is no bad thing :

But what is it without a tafle ?
And what's a Marriage and a Ring

Without a Nvptial Fea/i?

B 2

r 5 J

The firft lov'd Stage the Couple went

Was parting fweet, it was confeft !
But, to the Bride's aftonifhmcnt,

His Lordfhip's Nag lay down to reft!
Blefs me, fays flie,
How can this be ?

For in the Lady's head there ran a notion,
That wedded Blifs is in perpetual motion !

His Lordfhip gave a kifs, and felt that part
That gives frefh vigour to the heart !
But no kind Sympathy appear'd —

All was composed and ftill !
The Lady figh'd, the coaft was clear'd,

She figh'd to have her fill.

A Month pafs'd on — ftill the fame Fare,

And that was regularly given :
I've heard fome Ladies fince declare,

Each one of them would think it Heaven !
But (he, as wanton as Mifs Brown,

Would fain ride Poft three Stages more :
She heard moft Gentlemen in Town

Could boaft an inexhaufted ftore !

After

L 9 ]

After much deep deliberation,

The Lady turn'd her thoughts to France,
The lovelieft fpot in the creation,

To give new motions to her Dance :
For (he had heard and read of Capers,

Perform'd there with Ma'moifelles ;
And all the lively Paris papers

Mention thefe Sports among themfelves !

To Paris inftantly they went,

Both quite delighted with the jaunt,
Regardlefs of the Money fpent —

So that the Peer return'd gallant !
The Lady caft her Eyes about

In every Public Place, to find
One of thef| knowing Ladies out,

To whom (he might difclofe her mind !

At length, angelic Ma'am Birchini,
The Charmer of the Op'ra Beaux —

A lovelier woman than Seftini,
Ev'n without her Op'ra Clothes, —

Engaged her Ladyfhip's attention,

And to this Lady did fhe mention,

When

When they were thick in fome few days.
The whole of her diftreffmg Cafe ;
And begg'd that fhe would take her place,
And make his Lordfhip dance the Hays 1

Madame Birchini fhew'd furprife—

What ! once — no more ?
My Life on't, you fhall fee him rife

As oft as you fhall cry encore !
Between the Ladies 'twas agreed
That fhe fhould inftantly proceed,

Madame Birchini had a face —

A face that Reynolds' felf might charm !
A form poffeffmg ev'ry grace !

With fuch a lovely hand and arm !
And Breafts as plump and white as fnow !

With Eyes that darted burning rays 1
That ev'ry heart was in a glow,

Who faw her once, to fmg her praife I
Her A6lions were fuperior ftill,

Poffeffing ev'ry Art to pleafe :
She'd Words, Looks, Smiles, and Tricks at will —

And all to give her Lovers eafe !

But,

[ II ]

But, Reader, ten to one, you've feen,

With raptur'd eyes and beating heart,
Eaccelli, the fweet Op'ra Queen,

Whofe ev'ry (mile's a Cupid's dart !
And, ten to one, acrofs her knee

(While her fweet dancing fir'd your blood),
You fancied, with ecftatic glee

You caper'd, roaring you'd be good !

O, lovely woman ! his the joy

Who taftes thy bunch of birchen twigs r
No bold ungovernable boy,

With his Mamma, e'er danc'd fuch jigsl

O, lovely woman ! whofe fweet hand, rr*

With ev'ry touch, can fire the foul ;. *

Or, with a Rod, and free command,

Make Pego reach the diftant goal I'

* O, happy youth ! who that hand feels

Stripping each day thy tingling bum ;
Who makes thee caper with thy heels,

While each ilroke echoes through the room \

Such

Such was Birchini, fuch her charms, ::

Charms worth all your adoration ;

Once circled in her glowing arms,
You'd idolize the Gallic nation !

His Lordfhip now fhall ope the Ball,
With his new Partner, Madame B. ;

Venus, the Loves, and Graces all,
Muft ftraight attend the Jubilee !

Madame Birchini, fine as a Queen !

From Top to Toe in brilliance dreft,
Meets the gay Lord behind the Screen,

With rapture burning in his breaft !
The Lady's motions were divine !

His Lordfhip never found fuch pleafure,
This — this — my Lord's a perfect fign

Of captivating beyond meafure /

At length the Dance is over —
And now they rife from Clover —
After a kifs, and fome fweet Prattle,
They both prepare again for Battle :— '

Tte

I 13 ]

The Lady's at her Poft again-—

Again prefents her Magic hand :
Her Partner droops, he feems as flain

And will not rife at her command !
My Lord, is this your common way ?

Or has it happen'd thro' excefs ?
I never faw a fpark fo gay

When at the fummit of his Blifs !
Perhaps two Dances the fame Night
Pall upon your Appetite !

His Lordfhip ftraight confefs'd the fact —
Indeed ! fays fhe — I'll make him act :
Commit yourfelf to my correction.
And you fhall carry the Election ;
My Life on't, you fhall gain the Borough,
With ten good votes before to-morrow !

Not long ago, I knew a Friar,
Whofe foul poffefs'd uncommon fire ;
A perfect {tripling as to vigour :
In Venus' rites he ufed fuch rigour,
That he has run fix Dances down,
.And, fmiling, called 'em a Green Gown !

Whene'er

[ '4 ]

Whene'er he found his vigour fail,

At my Command he'd grow fo ftout,.
Another and another Bout

Succeeded, ere he'd clinch the nail !

Now, my good Lord, what will you flake,.

That I ha'nt got; it in my power
To make you now as great a Rake,

At leaft within an hour ?
What ! a Bank Note! for Fifty pound!

'Tis done ! and now fubmit to me,
And we will dance Love's pleafmg round,

And crown it with felicity !

The Lady from her Toilet bring.

A rod about the common fize :
Not like to that of Tyrant Kings —

But that that makes a fchool-boy wife !

His Lordfhip ftar'd ; the Lady fmiled :
My Lord, you now muft act a Child ;
And I your Step-mamma will be —
And whip you with Severity !

The

The Peer by no means lik'd the Fun ;
-Howe'er, flie let his breeches down —
He feized her hand — My Dear, I vow
I feel all o'er, I can't tell how !
•Come, come, fays fhe, 'tis not a Farce,

You'll quickly find,
AVhen I have whipt your A — e

To my mind !

"You'll be as lively in the Dance
-As the moft vig'rous Monk in France/

Philofophers, who've ftudy'd Nature,

And all our holy Fathers, fwear
A Rod's the beft invigorator —

A Rod apply'd upon the Rear I
I've tried its efficacy oft,

Aelminiftered by various hands —
Not too fevere, nor yet too foft,

But juft as pleafure's pulfe commands !
You fee ! you fee ! I told you true —

This minute you could run the Dance ;
I The Profpect opens full in view,

As bold as any throughout France J

Well,

Well, but, my dear, the Peer replied,
Why ply a rod on my backfide ?
Would not your hand's electric touch,
Rubb'd up and down, effect as much ?
Why tuck my fhirt above my middle ?
My Lord, I'll foon explain the riddle —
I love full play at a Bumfiddle !

Women, the wife Montaigne protefts,
And lively Montaigne feldom jefts,
Are deeper fkill'd in am'rous fports
Than men, tho' bred in Cupid's courts :
Can give to man, by magic pow'r,
New rapfure each returning hour !

When I lay on, my Lord, cry out,

And beg Forgivenefs for your crimes ;
And, tho' you kick and plunge about,

I'll keep in Tune with the Church-chimes !
And beg to kifs your Mamma's hand,

Your pleafure will be double fweet !
And kifs the Rod at her Command :

Thefe little tricks enrich the treat !

To

[ '7 J

And oft implore your fweet Mamma

To fpare your A — e, and kifs her lips :
Your Blifs is great — your Pain a ftraw —

You'll never heed how hard fhe whips I
And often turn your head about,

To view the ftrokes as they are falling —
Juft like a Child who makes a rout,

And keeps continually bawling !
And gaze with rapture o'er my Charms

While the fweet Combat lafts between us-
My Drefs, Face, Perfon, Hands, and Arms,

And fancy you are whipt by Venus t
Or, if the Goddefs will not do,

Think of your fav'rite little Jewefs ;
Or that fam'd Queen at Fountainbleau,

Sweet Madame Barre, whipping Louis ! *

* This is an undoubted fact : and it was by adminiftering this
Pleafure (ftudying a new mode almoft every time) that fhe ob-
tained that powerful afcendancy over Louis that puzzled every
one. There has been an anecdote recorded, but very erroneous,
of Madame de Rozen, a young lady of great beauty, and the
Countefs du Barre. This young Lady was very intimate with
the Countefs ; but the Countefs de Provence, to whom me was
Lady of Honour, reproaching her with the connexion, ihe be-
came of a fudden cool and diftant. Du Barre was fenfible of
the alteration, and mentioned it, with fome refentment, to the
King — who humoroufly obfcrved that ihe wa« a child, and ought

Arid

£ 18 ]

And often put your Hand behind

To fave your A — e, which I'll remove :
The fwcet contention, you will find,

Will heighten the repaft of Love !
Come, Sir, lie down acrofs my knee,

And let me whip your naughty bum ;
A thoufand times I've wifh'd to fee

Your faucy A — e in my own room !
I feel your Lord (Tup a great weight.

And that would interrupt our blifs :
I'll find you a much better feat—

My Love extend yourfelf on this :

to be whipt. The Countefs was refolved to underfland this
reply in its literal meaning ; and, knowing the King's favourite
paffion, invited the Marchionefs to come next morning to
breakfafl with her. When me came, me was conducted into a
chamber, where the King was concealed by Du Barre in fuch a
manner that he could ha\ e a good view. As foon as me entered,
four waiting women took hold of her and threw her on a bed ;
two of them held her down, while one held up her clothes, and
the other gave her the difcipline of the rod. Rozen complained
to his Majeily, who turned it off with a fmile. Though the
King was very fond of this pleafure, which the Countefs, per-
fonating various characters, adminiftered — fuch as a fevere
Step-mother, a Lady's-maid, a Governefs, a Favourite Opera
Dancer, &c.— yet me has been heard to fay the amorous
Monarch was a mofl excellent companion in a sentimental
and always gave her the high eft felicity.

A certain Nobleman at Court

Gave me this Mattrefs hung on fprings
(He's fond of this delightful fport),

And gave me thefe two diamond rings !
His Governefs, a buxom dame,

Kindled within him this new flame \
The rod, he faid, me often ply'd

With rigour on his bold backfide !
Which gave his Step-mamma much joy,
She thought him fuch a ftupid boy.
Ar.d ftupid he was bent to be,
It gave him fuch felicity !
All kinds of mifchief for this treat
He practis'd early, practis'd late ;
Abus'd his fifter, box'd his brother,
To get a whipping from his mother.
But what he deem'd his firft delight,
Was to be whipt by her at night :
He made his night crimes worfe and worfe,
Feeling, with her, no mercy on his A — e !
No Step-dame hated more a fon,
Nor joy'd to pull his breeches down ;
For ftaying out of bed too late
He often got this charming treat ;

But

But oft'ner for abufive clack
She hors'd him on her woman's back ;
Burfting with rage, as Tygrefs ftrong,
She'd pull him out of bed along !
Then, my dear Lord, he tafted blifs — •
She gave him firft the rod to kifs ;
Then, feigning forrow, fhrieks, and cries,
And aching heart, and ftreaming eyes,
On bended knees he kifs'd her feet,
Tho' panting for her raptur'd treat !
She made him mount upon her maid,
Who prov'd, he faid, a ftrong back'd jade !
Who laugh'd at ftruggling, plunging, kicking
And felt delighted at the whipping !
Plac'd to her mind, her beauteous hand
Grafp'd the fell birch, and took her fland :
Remov'd his fhirt-tail 'bove his middle,
And view'd with rapture his bumfiddle !
Then rag'd the rod o'er Lis backfide ;
And, tho' enraptur'd with the ride,
He ftill implor'd his fweet Mamma,
And roar'd in vain for his Papa !
The birchen-twigs fhe ftill kept plying,
Heedlefs of roaring and of crying !

His

His promifes flie did not mind,

She deem'd 'em nothing more than wind,

Nor ftopp'd 'till a receipt in full (he left behind !

And that receipt, I've heard him fay,

She oft' times gave him twice a-day.

But what, my Lord, you'll think uncommon —

He doated on this cruel woman !

Her vixen temper was his pride,

To that he ow'd each pleafant ride :

But her majeftic form and face,

Poffefling each bewitching grace ;

Her finely moulded hand and arm,

And magic eye firft work'd the charm !

This charm, with tears, he laid in duft,

And oft I've read upon her buft

(A tribute that may make you laugh),

His praifes in an Epitaph.

Epitaph on the Comteffe of Flayarfi.

O Buft belov'd, whofe heav'nly face
Reminds me of each charming grace,
That kindled in my bread a fire,
That not till death will e'er expire I

Dear

[ 22 ]

Dear boys, whofe bums e'er felt a birch,
Revere thro' life that facred church
Where (he's entomb'd — whofe magic hand
Oft held fweet Cupid's birchen wand :
Not held it as fome do to fright ye,
But whip ye with it, and delight ye !

At her, if you but caft a frown,

i
With pride fhe'd pull your breeches down ;

And then extend you on her knee,

And whip you with the higheft glee !

But if your ftrength was more than common*,

She'd have you hors'd upon her woman :

m»

On that ftout horfe fhe'd make you ride, \

\

'Till (he had flay'd your bold backfide I j

j
Not flay it, as fome mothers do,

With reprimands, and fbripes a few :
No — fhe'd convince you your pofteriors
Were never whipt by her fuperiors !
And tho' me made you roar and prance,
You'd fay no Step-mamma in France
(If you but turn'd your head to view her)
E'er boafted charms fuperior to her !
To look at her majeflic figure
Would make you caper with more vigour !

Th*

[ 23 j

The lightning flafliing from each eye

Would lift your foul to ecftafy !

Her milk-white flefhy hand and arm,

That ev'n an Anchorite would charm,

Now tucking in your fhirt-tail high, \

Now imacking hard each plunging thigh,

And thoxo twin orbs that near 'em lye !

Then to behold her di'mond rings,

Ev'n them you'd find delightful things !

But, above all, you'd love that other

That told you fhe was your Step-mother I

Then handing you the rod to kifs,

.'She'd make you thank her for the blifs :

No female Bufby then you'd find,

E'er whipt you half fo well behind !

Her lovely face, where beauty fmil'd,

Now frowning, and now feeming wild ;

Her bubbies o'er their bound'ry broke,

^Quick palpitating at each ftroke :

With vigour o'er the bouncing bum

She'd te i ungovern'd boys who rul'd at home 1

I've

C 2

[ 24 ]

IVe often fill'd this Lady's place,
Poffefling fuch a form and face ; :•

And as to all the rest, my Lord,
If you will take a woman's word,
This Peer did oft proteft and vow
He found me — what you'll find me now.

On this fine Mattrefs now lie down :
Come, Sir, don't whimper, cry, or frown :
I've whipt a number here upon it—

You'll find it pleafant, I dare fay !
Come, my fweet love, I'll ftretch you on it —

And now we'll enter on our play.
But e'er I feize the Rod to whip,

Your Shirt and Breeches I'll remove,
You'll feel fuch rapture while I ftrip :

A rapture only known to Love !
All men delight to feel a Hand

As velvet foft on their b :

And there's no Lady in the Land,

In this Amufement takes fuch pride !
Well, as I live, charming Pofteriors !

So white ! fo plump ! fo very fine !
The race of man is your inferiors :

Superior e'en to Friar Chine !

And

£ 25 ]

And this bold A — e was never whipt—
But it fhall feel your Step-mamma !

Tis now from top to bottom ftript,
At the defire of your Papa.

Naked, this Morn, I took your Brother,

And whipt him well acrofs my knee :
And now I'll give you fuch another —

Both A — s mail remember me !
At ev'ry ftroke I gave his B

How the young Gentleman would prance :
He'll not forget the time to come,

His fweet Mamma Birchini's dance
This charming Rod I made for you,

I ne'er held twigs of Birch fo neat :
I thought you'd like it better new,

For your Mamma's angelic treat !

Ah ! dear Mamma, ah ! as I live,
I'll ne'er be bold if you'll forgive :
Oh murder ! oh, good God ! oh dear !
Oh ! fweet Mamma, oh, pray, forbear !
Oh dear ! oh, I'll die ! oh, good God !
Mamma! Mamma! oh, mocking rod !

Come,

C 26 J

Come, you young Raical, leave off crying—

I'll whip you while the Rod will laft :
I will ! I will ! you're always lying —

I'll whip you for all offences paft !
Plunge and caper ! roar and cry !

I have you now within my power !
No kind protector now is nigh ;

Thro' Life I'll make you blefs this hour !
And blefs this hand that holds the rod ;

And kifs it with a fervour fweet ;
And think yourfelf a Demi-god,

While tatting the delicious treat !

Oh Lord ! don't whip fo hard, pray don't !
I can't bear it ! indeed, Mamma, I can't !

I told you, if I once begun,

I'd be fevere at ev'ry ftroke f
You fmil'd, and thought it only fun —

Your A — e now feels it is no joke !

Oh, dear Mamma ! oh, 'pon my ivord 1
I'll ne'er be bold ! O Lord ! O Lord !

Keep

[ =7 1

Keep down your legs ; let go my hand ;

Let ! let your Breeches remain down !
This efficacious reprimand

Shall make you the bcft Boy in Town !

I will be good ! I will, Mamma !
I'll ne'er offend you or Papa !

Will you, whenever you do wrong,

Come here to me, and beg a whipping ?

I know it won't be very long,

Before you're caught again a tripping.

Oh pray, Mamma ! pray let me down !
You'll find me the beft Boy in Town :
I'll never, while I live, offend —
J promife you you'll find me mend 1

I told you ere I'd been an hour

Your Step-mamma, what I would do !
.And now, I have you in my power,
"•> This A — e your infolence mail rue !

There's

; 28 j

There's nothing gives me fo much pride,

Than fuch amufement with a Youth !
To whip, whip, whip his bold backfide :

When he tells lies inflead of truth !
To fee him caper as I whip !

And his bare A — e expos'd to view !
And ev'ry day to make him drip,

And tafle the rod when bold like you ,

Oh dear ! oh, lovely, fweet Mamma !
I'll ne'er offend you or Papa !

Ay, cry and roar ! and beg and pray

Your fweet Mamma may let you down !
'Twill not avail — I'll whip away :

This fhall be the bell whipt A — e in Town t.
Aye, do, Sir, turn yourfelf about,

Juft like a faucy beaft in clover !
You'll quickly find me pretty flout,

To turn your naughty B e over !

How dare you pull your Breeches up ?

With others it may fave your A — e ;
But you fhall find, before I flop,

Such tricks with me are all a farce I

Now.

[ 29 ]

Now, Sir, I'll tie your hands behind —

And then I'll pull your Breeches off ;
And, then, my pretty youth, you'll find

I'll flay you're A— e like Madame Bun !
This garter many hands has tied,

And bound as faft as yours are now —
To fave this trouble, you mall ride

The next time on my maid, Ladow :
A ftrong-back'd wench, who takes delight

In horfing naughty boys and girls !
I whipt upon her back laft night

A French Duke, and two Englifh Earls :
The firft of which, with frock and fafh,

I dreft juft like a full-grown Mifs ;
Then gave him many a vig'rous lafli,

For giving fbotman John a kifs !
I taught this landed Mifs a dance —

I made him caper to the ceiling :
He fwore no Ma'amoifelle in France

Convinc'd him more that he had feeling !
And you fhall feel, before I've done,

What I can do with rod in hand ;
I never had fo bold a fon —

I'll whip your A — e while I can ftand !

Tver

[ 30 ]

I've thrown your Breeches now afide :

Your half-whipt bum, tho' feemkig fore,
With all the glowing profpect wide,

Pants for a vigorous encore !
Here, kifs the Rod, you wicked Elf ;

And kifs this lovely Hand and Arm !
I'll have you often by myfelf,

And this bold A— e I'll often warm !

Try me this once, Mamma, pray do,
And I will love and worfhip you !
Mamma ! Mamma ! oh dear ! oh Lord 1
•Oh ! I'll be good, upon my word !

Ha ! ha ! my pretty youth, I fee,

A Rod well ply'd upon your bum,
A Rod with vigour ply'd by me,

Will make you good fome time to come !
Yes, my bold youth, 'till birch is fcarce,
'Green twigs each day fhall flay your A — e !
Yes, yes ! you fee you've not a chance,

While I the Birchen Sceptre hold,
'To get from this delightful dance,

That cures a youth of being bold !

Oh

C 3i 1

Oh, my backfide ! oh dear ! the Rod !
Oh ! I'll expire ! Mamma ! oh God !

You tell me you'll be very good,

And ne'er provoke me while you live :
This Rod the next time (hall draw blood !

Without your doating father's leave.
I ne'er held fuch a Rod before,

Nor whipt fo well an Urchin's A — e !
You feem to feel it pretty fore :

You thought a whipping a mere farce !
But now your Step-mamma you find/

Can whip your A — e extremely w"cll !
You'll always find me in the mind,

To feize the Rod when you rebel !
There, get you down, you naughty Boy :

What, Sirrah, do you point your lance?
My Lord, I wifh your Lordfhip joy —

And now we'll take a fecond Dance !
******

******
This Dance was better than the firft :

It tickled me from top to toe :
The flood-gates of delight were burfb !

Another ! — fine ! — bravifiimo !

Nay,

t 32 j

Nay, as the ftory runs, 'tis faid~»
That Night upon his Lady's bed,
He caper'd till the dawn of day—-

On and off,

With little eafe,

About that fpace

'Tween a6ls of Plays- -
And rofe as vigorous as May!

The Peerefs was tranfported quite :
She never had fo fweet a night !
She gave her Lord a magic kifs,
And thank'd him for th' excefs of blifs !

That Night the Peer renew'd the Dance —
I mean the Dance with Madame B. :

No happy Lovers in Romance,
E'er.tafted more felicity.

The Lady, too, on his return,

Felt all the raptures of the blefs'd I

And now me wifh'd him to fojourn
With her alone within her neft.

Next

[ 33 ]

Next day to Madame 13. me hies,

The charming fecret to difcover :
She wifh'd in this to be as wife —

And gave a heavy purfe to move her !

i
Madame Birchini's raptur'd eyes

Survey'd the Lady's bright reward •
And inftantly, to her furprife,

She fhew'd what fir'd her charming Lord !
And taught her all her myftic fports ;

Her lectures, tricks, and pretty ways,
She learn'd in Convents and in Courts —

For which fhe always got the bays !

To prove what I advance, faid fhe,

My Pupil will be here at two,
And you the whole affair mail fee,

While ftanding in that room perdu !

His Lordfhip, punctual to his time,
Arriv'd, and went thro' all his blifs :

He danc'd like Q — nf — y in his prime —
And clos'd it with a raptur'd kifs !

The

t 34 ]

The Peerefs, when her Lord withdrew,

Retir'd to con her Lecture o'er ;
The whole affair to her was new,

Tho' fhe had heard of it before.
She was as docile as you pleafe,

And lovelier far than Madame B. —
And now (he ftudied the fame ways,

To give her Lord felicity !
She had a moft lafcivious Eye ;

An Air, a Shade, a Hand and Arm .
A Leg and Foot ! that who came nigh,

Always difcover'd fome new charm !
The implement of blifs fhe got,

To whip her Dog, her Maid believ'd,
Whene'er fhe found him piping-hot

After a Bitch, or when he thiev'd !
And having ftudied all the pranks

She faw fweet Madame B. difplay,
Por which fhe got repeated thanks

Before her face that very day.

When fhe had got the Peer in Bed,
She told him fhe had read a Book,

So comical and droll, fhe faid —

And then me gave hkn an arch look :

I 35 ]

A Book, fays fhe, and flapt his A — e,

And gave him a delicious kifs !
I'm fenfible 'tis not a Farce —

It fhould be call'd the road to blifs :
It is the drolleft Book, fays fhe

(And flapt and kifs'd at ev'ry word)-
My Love, 'twill give you monftrous glee !

It will, indeed, my darling Lord !
To-morrow Morn, we'll run it o'er ;

Meantime, fuppofe we take a Dance —
You ne'er was fo alert before,

I mean before we came to France.
His Lordfhip ran the Dance with eafe :

She rubb'd and' flapt him oft behind ;
She found he liked her pretty ways,

Which witching Venus' felf combin'd.
After three Dances juft us fweet,

They both embrac'd, and turn'd to reft :
His Lordfhip pond'ring on the treat;

The Lady, happy as the bleft !

Next day, at Madame B.'s requefl,
The lovely charmer foon appears
Before her Lord, divinely dreft —
- Who feem'd the happieft of Peers.

And

[ 36 ]

And now the fecret fhe difplays,

Exhibits all that fhe acquir'd,
Thofe tricks and fweet bewitching ways,

She knew her Lord fo much admir'd :
His Lordlhip kifs'd her o'er and o'er,

And inflantly led off the Dance —
He vow'd he never was before

So raptur'd fmce he came to France !
His Afternoonings now were given,

To her that gave him moft delight ;
His ecftacy before was Heav'n,

With all her pretty tricks at night !

And now they are the happiefl pair

That fport upon the feat of blifs —
Whether a Bed, a Couch, or Chair,

They oft repeat the glowing kifs :
And often blefs the Happy Day

That Venus led 'em fuch a Dance :
And when with age they both are grey,

They'll often blefs the fports of France

END OF THE DANCE.

ANECDOTES,

ANECDOTES,

BY

LADY TERMAGANT FLAYBUM, &c.

COLLECTED IN THE

FASHIONABLE CIRCLES.

JL\ YOUNG Nobleman, who now cuts a dif-
tinguifhed figure in the gallant world, was fo fmitten
with Lady B. T. the firft time he beheld her at the
opera, that he ran out in unbounded^ praife on her
vivacity, beauty, and bewitching charms, to his
miftrefs that evening. This Lady was deep fkilled
in the pleafures of the rod, and, knowing his paflion
for it, fhe told him if he would ftep into her bed-
chamber for half-an-hour, fhe would then wait on him,
and reprefent her ladylhip, and deliver a lecture fhe
would then fit down to write, which fhe was certain
would pleafe him highly. This lecture his lordlhip
was fo delighted with, that he gave her two hundred

guineas
D

t. 38 ]

guineas for it, and is, to this hour, paffionately fond
of hearing it delivered by the fame lady, who he
fancies the whole time the identical Lady B. T.

Enters with Surprife.

SO ! fo ! this is very pretty doings, out of bed this
time of night !

Do you remember, Sir, what I told you before I
went to the opera ? Didn't I tell you I would whip
you well, if I caught you out of bed, when I returned ?
Yes, mamma, but I'll never do it again, 'pon my
honour. I'll take care, Sir, you fhall not. Go, bring
the rod I whipt your fifler with this morning from my
toilet : bring it this inflant, Sir ! (stamps with her foot
on the ground in a pajfion.) Put it in my hand, and
go on your knees, and beg that I may pull down your
breeches and whip you fmartly with it. Go down upon
your knees this moment ! Now, put up your hands
and fay — Pray, my dear mamma. — " Pray, my dear
mamma." Whip me well with that excellent rod.—
" Whip me well with that excellent rod." For I have
been a veiy bold boy. — " For I have been a very bold

boy."

[ 39 ]

boy." And deferve to be vvhipt well. — " And deferve
to be whipt well." Which I know you, my fweet
mamma, take a delight in. — " Wkich I know you, my
fweet mamma, take a delight in." When you have a

bold boy's a — e expofed to the lafli of the rod

*' When you have a bold boy's a — e expofed to the
lafh of the rod." I never knew what a good whipping
was 'till you married my papa. — " I never knew what
a good whipping was 'till you married my papa."
And now, my fweet mamma. — " And now, my fweet
mamma." Lay me acrofs your knee, and whip me
feverely for being out of bed this time of night. Say
it, Sir, this moment. I can't, indeed, my dear mamma.
Get up, Sir, till I let down your breeches — for down
I will pull them to your heels. Yes, you fee you
have no chance of getting off this time : no aunt to
fave you. You fee I have got them down, and have
placed you acrofs my knee to my wifh, and I am
determined to make an excellent ufe of the rod. Yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes ! you fhall find you were never
fo well whipt in your life ! Oh, my charming mamma,
I'll never be out of bed at this hour again — I won't,
upon my honour! I have been told you are very
good at promifes ; but I am determined you fhall feel

my
D2

[ 40 ]

my refentment while I have ftrength to handle a rod.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, you audacious young rafcal ! Oh
dear ! oh heaven ! mamma ! mamma ! mamma !
mamma ! Oh ! I mail expire ! No, no, no, no, you
won't expire! Your doating mother and ridiculous
aunt never knew the efficacy of a well-handled birch ;
but I told you a day or two after I married your
papa that I would flay you alive the firft time you
difobliged me ! Oh dear, I remember, I do, indeed.
Upon my honour, my darling mamma, I'll be good !
Oh dear ! good heaven ! Oh, I (hall faint— I fhall die !
No, no, no, no, no, thefe charming twigs of birch will
be of fervice to you ! I know you'd rather let me
whip you than any one in the houfe. No, mamma, I
don't like to be whipt — I don't, indeed ! I never was
whipt but by you ! Oh dear ! oh God ! Oh, let me
down ! let me down, my lovely charming mamma !
I thought your aunt told you I was terrible when I
took the rod in hand. She did fo, mamma! Oh
dear — for mercy's fake, let me down ! I'll take care
never to provoke you to take the rod in hand again.
I will, indeed, my charming, my dear, my angelic
mamma ! Well, Sir, I'll fee how you behave ; but
remember, the next time you provoke me, inftead of

leaving

[ 41 ]

ieaving your backfide as it is now, I'll whip you 'till
the blood runs to your heels ! I'll make you feel the
difference between a doating mother and an enraged
flep-mother.

Come, my pretty youth, ftand on a chair, and look
at your backfide in the glafs : turn your head about
and look at it. Se * what a condition I've left it in !
You now fee w : I can do when provoked. Yes,
mamma ; but I'll never offend you agfvin ; and if I
had known you could act with fuch feverity with a
rod, be affured I would not exafperate you. Well,
well, Sir, I'll fee how you behave ; but remember
what you are to expect for the firft offence : I pro-
mife you I will have a good rod in readinefs.

It has been a general opinion, that age and the
middle ftate of man has been moft prone to this whim
or paflion, but the affertion is falfe, which every woman
in the fecret will teftify, and which the following
anecdote is a ftriking inflance of: —

A youth of twelve years old, the fon of a gentleman
of extenfive fortune, was fo fond of being whipped by

a

[ 42 ]

a woman of his choice, that the pocket-money he was
allowed by a very indulgent mother, which was con-
fiderable, was principally fquandered in this way.
His nurfe, who had fet up a cheefemonger's fhop, was
early acquainted with this pafllon of the youth, and
often herfelf humoured him ; but that which he fighed
for now, was to be whipped by a fchool-miftrefs. For
this he promifed large prefents if fhe would indulge
him, which fhe eafily faw was in her power. To be
brief, fhe found out a fchool-miftrefs fhe imagined
would do, who took in evening fcholars. The terms
were confiderable, as fhe was to take uncommon pains,
in his tuition. He was never to mix with the fcholars,
but to go to fchool at that period in the evening when
they had all retired. The inftant he found out that
the miftrefs difcovered his weaknefs, that inftant he
left her never to return. Everything was to be con-
ducted by his nurfe, in fuch a manner, that his miftrefs
was not to have the moft diftant idea of the paffion.
His nurfe was to perfonate his mamma's maid ; was
to attend him to and from fchool; and everything
wore the appearance of a fcholar in reality. At his
firft vifit he was to determine about the lady, and if
fhe did not hit his fancy he never went again. If the

lady

[ 43 ]

lady had thofe attractions he defired, his fecond vifit
was always crowned with a whipping, which was
brought about in the following manner : —

The woman who reprefented his mother's maid, and
who conducted him to fchool, brought a note to the
miflrefs, dreffed in pretty nearly thefe words —

Madam,

[f you expect that I ihould leave my fon any longer
under your tuition, you muft whip thofe pernicious
humours out of him, that give me fo much uneafmefs :
he is not only the greateft dunce, but the moft im-
pertinent boy living ; ufing ever to me the vileft
language, which I am obliged to fubmit to, as he is
too ftrong for me to manage. This morning he abufed
me grofsly, and I take this method of retaliating, by
requefting you will whip him before my maid as
feverely as his crime merits. I don't defire you fhould
fpare the rod, I affure you.

Yours, £c.

P.S. — I forgot to mention he will not eat his bread
and butter in the morning without glafs windows cut

on it.

While

[ 44 ]

While the miftrefs was reading this, he watched the
motions of her face with the fame pleafure an aftro-
nomer would the tranfit of Venus ; and if he faw figns
of anger his blifs was compleat. As foon as the
miftrefs difclofed the contents of the letter to the
maid, he flew to the latter for protection ; but (he
fhook him off, declaring him the boldeft boy in the
world, and recommending a good whipping if fhe ex-
pected to meet with her lady's approbation. Then
the comedy began. As foon as the miftrefs laid hold
on him, he kicked, plunged, and called her infamous
names, to provoke her ftill more to handle him
roughly, which was what he delighted in, for nothing
on earth could give him greater pleafure than the
endeavour to overpower his miftrefs ; and fhe that
could, with great paflion, throw him acrofs her lap,
tear his breeches from his a — e, and whip him as
fmartly as fhe could, fecured his affections from that
hour.

This woman, who we mall call Mrs. Trimmer, was
the widow of a lieutenant in the navy, and was as
fevere a difciplinarian as ever took a rod in hand.
Her figure and carriage were commanding, and there

was

[ 45

was a grace in her action many degrees above fchool-
miftreffes in general; added to this, fhe had a nofe
that turned up, which gave her an air of unbounded
pride blended with feverity. The nurfe, who related
thefe particulars to a friend fome time after the gentle-
man's death, declared me never faw a woman fo clever
at uncafing a pair of pofteriors, which, notwithftanding
his ftruggles, me effected in a minute. As the ad-
monition and fupplication differ in fome meafure from
others in this way, it will not be amifs to publifh them
in pretty near the words of the nurfe.

IS it poffible, faid Mrs. Trimmer, pulling his breeches
down to his heels, that your miftrefs fuffered this
tyrannical gentleman to infult her in the manner me
has reprefented ? No indeed, ma'am, I never infulted
my mamma, upon my honour, I did not, roared the
youth. Indeed, Mrs. Trimmer, replied the nurfe,
there's not fo bold a boy in the parifh. So, fo, fo, fo,
fo, fo, fo, fo I underftand ! faid the miftrefs (making
him caper as high as young Veftris at every ftroke of
the rod). Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I can fee you are a
wicked young rafcal ! Oh, dear miftrefs, I'm not in-
deed ! for pity's lake! Oh miftrefs! miftrefs! I'll

never

t 46 ]

never offend my mamma ! Oh my a — e ! my a — e ! Oh,
my dear nurfe, beg me off! No, no, Sir, I'm defired
to fee you well whipped, and I think you never got
into fuch excellent hands before. I'll convince him of
that, I affure you, before I have done! You won't
eat your bread and butter, I underftand, till your
mamma cuts glafs windows on it, my young mailer :
I'll glafs windows you ; yes, yes, yes, yes, I'll cut
glafs windows on your a — e ! Nurfe ! nurfe ! my dear
nurfe! I'll never do it again ! Oh dear! Oh Lord ! Oh,
miftrefs ! miftrefs ! miftrefs ! forgive me this time ! Oh,
what mail I do ! Oh, let me down ! I'll die! Oh mercy !
miftrefs ! nurfe ! nurfe ! I'll be good ! Oh my a — e ! my
a — e ! my a — e ! I'll be good, upon my honour, I'll be
good ! You often told your mamma, when you have
been mounted on my back, that you'd be good, but
we never perceived any amendment ; but now your
mamma will have fome hopes : I'll take care to (hew
her the condition of your a — e when you return home ;
and I'm fure fhe'll fend a letter of thanks to your
miftrefs. The young gentleman thought, I dare
fwear, there was no one could break him off thofe
crimes, but I'll whip this bold backfide of his till I
(trip every bit ef fkin from it, or I'll work an amend-
ment

I 47 ]

ment in him. Try me this once, my dear miftrefs !
Oh gracious ! try me ! Oh, I'm killed ! let me down !
let me down ! let me down ! nurfe ! nurfe ! nurfe !
You may roar, and cry, and kick, and plunge, and
implore, my pretty grentleman, but all will not do ; I'll
whip you till the blood runs to your heels ! You fhall
feel the tuition of this excellent rod ! Miftrefs !
miftrefs ! miftrefs ! for mercy's fake, don't whip me
any more ! Oh, I'll expire ! I know I will ! Oh, my
dear nurfe, catch hold of the rod ! catch hold of the
rod, for God's fake ! my a — e is all flayed ! I feel it is,
my dear nurfe ! Oh, my mamma will never find me
difobey her again ! Well, Mrs. Trimmer, fuppofe we
try him this time. If you think he has had enough,
I'll let him down ; but I affure you, if the correction
was left to myfelf, I would wear this rod to a flump
on his a — e, before I let him down. There, Sir, go to
your nurfe, and thank her for begging you off; and
take care you don't come under my hands again.
This is the firfl whipping I've given you, take care of
a fecond.

A foreign gentleman, near Berkeley-fquare, has an
extraordinary paflion in this way. His family confifts

of

r 48

of four women-fervants, all of different ages — the
oldeft not above forty. Thefe he is fure to change
every two years, pretending to leave off houfekeeping.
When he difcharges them, he retires into the country
for fix months, 'till he thinks the girls are provided
for, and then he takes a houfe in another quarter of
London, and attends to all the advertifements of
women who wifli to conduct the affairs of a fmgle
gentleman. As foon as he fele£ls from thefe who
wait on him, each girl has her appointment made out,
which are as follows: — Nurfery-maid, Governefs,
Houfekeeper, and Lady's-maid. As he allows great
wages, he requires all the girls to be exceeding neat
in their drefs, according to their feveral fituations.
As foon as he has them in the houfe, his prefents fly
thick among them, and he is feldom difappointed in
the return he expects. When he wifhes for a gentle
mirfery whipping, the nurfery maid is infulted by him,
or he ftrips and gets into bed, which he wets in a few
minutes after, and for which (he whips him fmarter
than for a bare infult. When his governefs whips
him, the houfekeeper or fome other fervant muft beg
him off, which muft not be complied with ; this muft
be even done upon her knees. This whipping is of a

feverer

[ 49 3

feverer kind than that in the nurfery, and he is led to
it by the lady's-maid, who makes it a requeft, at the
defire of her miftrefs. When he is whipt by the lady's-
maid, the likelieft of the maids muft drefs to reprefent
a lady of fafhion, and fhe is to command the girl to
whip him in her prefence. This whipping he enjoys
till the blood runs to his heels, and is of a piece with
that which he receives from the hands of the houfe-
keeper in her own room. What he calls a great treat,
arifes from the following offence : — Upon a fignal
given by him, the houfekeeper, who muft be very
ferious, rather lufty, with white flefhy hands and arms,
and very well dreffed, fancies fome difagreeable fmell
in the room. The ladies are all called in, and they
immediately think the fame: the gentleman looks
very grave upon it, and the houfekeeper concludes he
has fouled his breeches, which the ladies, with much
contempt and abufive language, all agree in. He is
immediately ftripped to his fhirt by the houfekeeper,
who fancies fhe beholds the fcene in reality. All
nofes are turned up on beholding the breeches, and he
is laid acrofs the houfekeeper's lap, like a child to be
cleaned : one lady brings a wet towel, another brings
a pan of water to warn him clean, a third brings a dry

towel,

[ So ]

towel, with which his backfide is rubbed feveral times,,
till the lady thinks it clean. At every rub, and during
the whole of the operation, the houfekeeper expreffes
her deteftation, and lays the fault on the nurfery-maid
for not whipping fuch an abominable practice out of
him. She replies with much warmth, the fault lies in
his mamma, who fpoilt him, and who will never fuffer
him to be whipt. The lady's-maid protefts fhe never
knew anything fo abominable, and recommends a,
good whipping by all means, which the governefs
feconded. That he fhall have, faid the houfekeeper,
though I were to lofe my place the next hour. You
dirty, filthy, young rafcal, do you think we have
nothing elfe to do but to be employed in this manner,
cleaning your backfide! fie, for fhame! I am deter-
mined I won't be employed for nothing, which your
a — e fhall feel in a minute ! Bring me the bundle of
birch from my own room! (all this time Jhe keeps
cleaning him.) The birch is inftantly brought, from
which ihe felects what will form an excellent rod, the
ladies the whole time recommending it ftrongly, with
many abufive names. His legs are then held by the
ladies, and the houfekeeper lays on him without
mercy — fhe lecturing, the women abufing, and he

roaring

roaring the whole time; and the women are not to
ceafe abufmg, and (he whipping, till the blood runs to
his heels. The nurfery-maid then puts a plaifter to
the fore part, and puts him to bed, where fhe laments
over him, but declares he deferves it, He keeps cry-
ing the whole time, and begs the nurfery-maid will
fend the houfekeeper to him to make it up, which
fhe, in his hearing, refufes for fome time ; 'till, by his
repeated fupplications, fhe enters, kiffes him, takes
him in her arms, and lays down befide him ; where
fhe meets with a recompence for her extraordinary
exertions to pleafe him, and five guineas when the
pleafure fubfides.

PARODY of SAPPHO'S celebrated ODE.

33y Mifs C , a child of eight years of age, but remarkable

quick, now at Mrs. D 's boarding-fchool. Addreffed to

the Rod, with which (he had juft been corrected by her
Governefs.

Curft as the meaneft wretch is fhe,
Th' unlucky girl juft whipt by thee,
Who fees and feels thy Hinging rage,
Which nought but time can e'er affuage;

Tis

[ 53 ]

'Tis thou that plagu'ft us ev'ry day,
To fhame and fmart mak'ft us a prey :
Is ought mifdone — ftraight o'er the knee,
Poor culprits, we are twiggd by thee.

Thy flatter' 'd ends and fliabby plight
Shew e'en thou fuffer'ft by thy fpite :
Judge then, thou ugly ' Jhaggy thing,
How my poor flefh can bear thy fling.

Guardian Powers, protect me then,
Let me ne'er tafte/*?// Birch again ;
To naughty boys confine thy rage,
And not with tender chits engage.

A gentleman of Yorkshire, of this defcription, from
feeing a cottager's widow whip one of her children one
morning, in his fhirt, with her hand at her cottage-
door, which he obferved, though belonging to a poor
woman, was, though large, very clear and flefhy, took
a great liking to the fame fport ; and knowing his own
weight and her poverty he was in no doubt of fuc-
ceeding. He made her fome prefents, and gave her a
better houfe the next day in a filent part of his
demefne, where none could overhear ; to which, when

fhe

[ 53 J

(he had removed, he repaired, and whifpered the fecret
to her. Everything was fettled to their wifh ; the
children were at fchool, the houfe was ftill, and he
was dripped to his fhirt, and capering about the floor,
when the woman entered (who perfonated his mother).
She flew at him in a paffion, upbraided him with not
going to fchool, and throwing her left arm round him,
fhe removed his fhirt, and flapped his a — e with her
open hand till it was as red as fcarlet. As foon as fhe
was done, fhe commanded him (agreeable to his de-
fire) to put on his breeches, in the operation of which
he called her fome abufive names, which fo exafperated
her, that fhe tore a birch broom in pieces, and formed
an excellent rod, with which, as foon as fhe had re-
moved his breeches, and laid him acrofs her knee, flie
whipped him till the blood ran down to his heels.

This fport (he continued at times during his life,
and for her fecrecy he gave her fifty pounds a-year.

The following is a well authenticated fact, and is
now pretty well known to many ladies about Rich-
mond.

[ 54 ]

mond.— A young gentleman, about feventeen, fell
defperately in love with a beautfful young lady in
London, who he met with at a dance. He difclofed
his paflion to her, and was very well received by her
and her relations, a number of whom knew his con-
nexions. A powerful barrier remained to interrupt
this union : his father vowed he would cut him off
with a (hilling if he ever married without a fortune
nearly equal to his own, which was very confiderable.
The youth begged on his knees that his father would
only fee the object of his affection, and he was con-
vinced he would alter his decree. The old gentleman
v/as inexorable, and would not confent to the inter-
view. However, in the courfe of a week, the lover
found means to get his father invited to a dinner in
his neighbourhood, where the young lady was to be.
He came, and fhe conquered ; but her conqueft was
the old gentleman himfelf, who alleged his fon was too
young to enter into marriage, and inftantly offered
his own hand and a handfome fettlement. She con-
fulted her lover next day, who, knowing the bbftinacy
of his father's difpofition, advifed her by all means to
clofe with it, at the fame time avowing his unbounded
happinefs on the occafion.

A

[ 55 ]

A few days prior to the marriage fhe promifed him
fhe would do everything in her power to promote his
felicity. This gave him the beft opportunity of open-
ing his mind to her, declaring fhe had it in her power
to divert another paffion connected with that he muft
now renounce ; and as fhe cannot, without injuring
her honour, make him an illicit return for the love fhe
has filled him with, his requeft is, that fhe will a6l the
part of a ftep-mother in all its forms. This fhe
folemnly protefted fhe would do, giving him a kifs at
the fame time. Then, faid the enraptured youth, falling
on his knees and kiffmg her feet, you have made me
happier than the bleft. But, faid the lady, what may
this other favourite paflion of yours be, by diverting
which I fhall not forfeit my honour ? He then, with
fome little hefitation, difclofed his paffion to her, .at
the fame time reminding her of a whipping he faw
her give a little brother of hers a few days after he
became acquainted with her : the very fight of which
fo tranfported him that he was near putting himfelf in
the fituation of the boy and imploring fuch another.
The lady fmiled at this, but affured him, fmce fhe
promifed to increafe his felicity, fhe would fulfil it in

every

E 56 ]

every fenfe in her power the inftant (he became his
ftep-mother.

The morning after marriage his father took a ride
a few miles about a little bufinefs, which gave the fon
an opportunity of putting his ftep-mamma in mind of
fulfilling her promife. — He went to her drefling-room,
and, in a paffionate tranfport, claimed it on his knees.
The lady told him to wait there for her. She in-
ftantly went to the kitchen, and fending the fervants
out of the way, fhe made an excellent rod from the
broom, and repaired to her ftep-fon. After locking
the door, fhe put the rod upon a diftant table, and
approached him with a countenance expreffive of the
utmoft fe verity. She then let down his breeches, and
made him bring the rod and put it into her hand, and
fall on his knees and beg his fweet mamma would
give him a fample of what fbep-mammas treat their
fons with the firft time they give them offence. She
inftantly drew a table near a large looking-glafs, at
his defire, that he might view her during the whipping ;
and having placed the two pillows of a fopha on the
table fhe made him mount and extended him on it ;
then tied his hands behind him, drew his breeches

dowa

[ 57 ]

down to his heels, and tucked his (hirt above the fmall
of his back ; all which fhe did deliberately, but at the
fame time gave him to underftand, by threats, what
he was to expect from her hands. When he was
placed to her mind, fhe took the rod in hand, made
him kifs it, and put him in mind who he had to deal
with — no filly fond mother, who fpared the rod and
fpoiled the child, but a ftep-mother whofe greateft
pleafure was in flaying a bold boy's a — e. She then
gave him ten or a dozen good ftripes, made him kifs
the rod and thank his Jlep-motJier ; then whipt him
again feverely, ufmg the fame intermiflion and cere-
mony as at firft, and continued whipping him till he
told her he had enough, which was the fignal to let
him down. About three years after her marriage, this
lovely woman buried her old hufband, and fome time
after married a man that reduced her in a fhort time
fo very low, that fhe was advifed to folicit the bounty
of her former lover ; who, hearing of her diftrefs, was
beforehand with her, for he fettled two hundred
a-year on her for life.

FINIS.

CATALOGUE

Of Books, Pamphlets, and Prints, ancient and modern, to-
be had at No. 66, Drury-lane.

Exhibition of Female Flagellants, in the modeft and inconti- Plain.

nent world, with 12 fuperb prints, in colours, ^3 30 £220
Fafhionable Lectures, delivered with birch-difcipline, by a

number of ladies, particularly thofe of the Cyprian Circle,

with fix prints, in colours, £ i n 6 I i &
Madame Birchini's Dance, with confiderable additions, and

an additional print, in colours, 95. 060
Lady Bumtickler's Revels, a comic opera, with fix elegant

prints, in colours, £ i 11 6 I I o
Treatife on Flogging, by Dr. Meibomius, with prints, in

colours, i os. 6d. 076-

De Lolme's Hiftory of the Flagellants 060

High Fun in the Nurfery, in colours, 33. — 020

Hal's Looking-glafs ; or, The C n Houfe Exhibition 026

Elements of Nature, by Montaigne 026

Triflram Shandy, with beautiful prints

Crazy Tales 040

Moral Tales — 020

Meurfii

The Earl of Haddington's poems 046

Ode a Priape — 020

The Kiffes of Secundas 050

Trials for Adultery, 2 vols. o 14 o

Nocturnal Revels ; or, The Hiftory of King's Place, 2 vols. 080

Rochefter's poems

Ovid's Art of Love — .040

The Afylum, 2 vols 076

Foundling Hofpital for wit, 6 vols. — 0180

La Pucelle d'Orleans

The following Prints may be had at the fame Shop : —

Lady Termagant Flaybum going to give her Step-fon a tafte

of her deffert after dinner, in colours, 75. 6d. 050

The Comteffe de Barre whipping the Marchionefs de Rozen,
from Voltaire's anecdote : a large and beautiful mezzo-
tinto, in colours, IDS. 6d. 060

The Admiral kiffmg the Gunner's Daughter ; or, The Fe-
male Boatfwain 050

Wife and no Wife, in colours, 55. 030

A fale of Englifh Beauties in the Eafl Indies, in colours, 6s. 040

*^_* Merchants, Eaft India Captains, and others, who wifh to fend
profitable ventures to foreign markets, will be allowed a confiderable-
difcount in purchafmg a number of the above articles.

PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE
CARDS OR SLIPS FROM THIS POCKET

UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO LIBRARY

HQ

79

B83

v.5

Buckle, Henry Thomas (ed.)
Library illustrative of
social progress