Literary frivolities, francies, follies, and frolics

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LITERARY FRIVOLITIES.

Post Svo, cloth limp, 2s. 6d. per volume.

THE MAYFAIR LIBRARY.

THE NEW REPUBLIC. ByW. H. Mallock.

THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA. By W.
H. Mallock.

THE TRUE HISTORY OF JOSHUA DAVID-
SON. By E. Lynn Linton.

OLD STORIES RE -TOLD. By Walter
Thornbury.

PUN I AN A. By the Hon. Hugh Rowley.

MOREPUNIANA. By the Hon. Hugh Rowley.

THOREAU: HIS LIFE AND AIMS. By
H. A. Page.

BY STREAM AND SEA. By William Senior.

JEUX D'ESPRIT. Collected and Edited by

Henry S. Leigh.
GASTRONOMY AS A FINE ART. By Bril-

lat-Savarin.
THE MUSES OF MAYFAIR. Edited by H.

Cholmonoelry Pennell.
PUCK ON PEGASUS. By H. Cholmondeley

Pennell.
ORIGINAL PLAYS. By W. S. Gilbert.

CAROLS OF COCKAYNE. By Henry S.
Leigh.

LITERARY FRIVOLITIES, FANCIES, FOL-
LIES, AND FROLICS. By W. T. Dobson.

%* Other Volumes are in preparation.
CHATTO 6* WIND US, PICCADILLY, W.

LITERARY FRIVOLITIES

FANCIES
FOLLIES AND FROLICS

By WILLIAM T. DOBSON

tVith graviiy foe graver folks

5-onton
CHATTO AND WINDUS, PICCADILLY

IAU righlt rcservtd\

fc

NOTE.

HERE the authorship of any of the ex-
tracts given in this book is not acknow-
ledged, it is not without search having
been made for their source; The gathering to-
gether of the materials incorporated has been the
labour of years, and it is hoped that the work
may not be without a certain degree of interest
as well as amusement.

CONTENTS.

PAGB
INTRODUCTION 9

ALLITERATION 1 7

LIPOGRAMS 58

BOUTS RIMES 69

MACARONICS 87

CHRONOGRAMS • Il6

ECHO VERSES 122

JESUITICAL VERSES 143

MONOSYLLABIC VERSE 150

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC 1 58

CENTONES OR MOSAICS 1 76

ANAGRAMS I92

THE PALINDROME 215

LITERARY MISFORTUNES 228

FIGURATE OR SHAPED POEMS 258

PROSE POEMS 271

INDEX 285

LITERARY FRIVOLITIES.

INTRODUCTION.

TILITY is not always the chief object
of literary labour, neither is " value
received " always its aim and end ; for
in this kind of work, as in some others, difficulty
and expected applause are frequently great incen-
tives. With many writers, more particularly in
former times, various curious styles of composi-
tion were much in favour — one, for instance,
would have a predilection for composing verses
with the omission in each stanza of a particular
letter ; others, again, would write verses in such a
way as to enable their compositions to be read
from the end to the beginning of the line, or vice
versd, as the reader chose; while a third vexed
himself in the composition of alliterative, or, per-
haps, monosyllabic poetry. Some old writers also
amused themselves in devising cott\htaa&^c& *&

io INTRODUCTION.

Latin words, which might be changed in their
order and recombined, so as to form new sen-
tences. Of one example of this species of literary
trifling, a verse in honour of the Virgin Mary, it
was asserted by its author that it would admit of
twelve hundred changes, without suffering in sense
or grammar. The verse was —

" Tot tibi sunt dotes, virgo, quot sidera cceli \ "

which means —

" Virgin, thy virtues are as numerous as the stars of
the heavens."

The wonder is, in regard to these, how their
indefatigable concocters found out the number of
changes the words would admit; for, as regards
another example, its author states that it would
take ninety-one years and forty-nine days to per-
form the changes, at the rate of twelve hundred
daily — the total number of which the words are
capable amounting to "thirty-nine million nine
hundred and sixteen thousand eight hundred ! "
This wonderful verse is as follows :

" Lex, grex, rex, spes, res, jus, thus, sal, sol bona lux, laus!
Mars, mors, sors, fraus, faex, Styx, nox, crux, pus, mala vis, lis ! "

[hich may be rendered—

INTRODUCTION. 1 1

" Law, flocks, kings, hopes, riches, right, incense, salt, sun good
torch, praise to you !
Mars, death, destiny, fraud, impurity, Styx, night, the cross, bad
humours and evil power, may you be condemned ! "

Another class of literary triflers may be named
here — those who chose to display a kind of micro-
scopic skill by writing so small that their work
appeared to the naked eye only as a mere wavy
line. Laborious ingenuity of these various kinds,
so far from being discouraged, was rather pleasur-
ably indulged in by some of our ancient writers,
of whom might have been expected other and
better things.

In relation to those who have chosen to exert
themselves in the way of microscopic writ-"
ing, apart from authorship, as feats of this kind
hold no place in the following parts of this work,
it may not be out of place to say a little here.
The fact, as Pliny relates, that the "Iliad" of
Homer, containing 15,000 verses, had been written
in so small a compass as to be wholly enclosed in
a nutshell, has often been referred to as one of
those things which require to be seen to be
believed; and yet, however doubtful such a feat
may appear, it is certain that one Huet, who at
first thought it impossible, demonstrated bv «.^xv-

12 INTRODUCTION.

ment that it could be done. A piece of vellum
10 inches in length and 8 wide would hold 250
lines, each line containing 30 verses, and thus, filling
both sides of the vellum, 15,000, the whole number
of verses in the " Iliad," could be written upon it ;
and this piece of vellum, folded compactly, would
go easily into the shell of a walnut. Another
ancient trifler of this kind is said to have written a
distich in golden letters, which he enclosed in the
rind of a grain of corn.

Of these microscopic writers, Peter Bales, an
eminent writing-master of his day, who kept a school
near the Old Bailey during the time of Elizabeth,
may be said to have been facile princeps. We are
told in the Harleian MS. 530, of "a rare piece of
work brought to pass" by him, this being the
"whole Bible contained in a large English walnut
no bigger than a hen's egg ; the nut holdeth the
book ; there are as many leaves in his book as the
great Bible, and he hath written as much in one of
his little leaves as a great leaf of the Bible." This
book, which certainly would be almost unreadable,
and of which the paper or other material on which
it was written must have been very thin, " was seen
by many thousands." Another feat performed by
Peter Bales was the writing of the Lord's Prayer, the

INTRODUCTION. 13

Creed, the Ten Commandments, two short Latin
prayers, and his own name, motto, day of month
and year of our Lord and reign of Queen Eliza-
beth, all within the circle of a penny, encased in a
ring of gold, the whole so clearly done as to be
perfectly readable. This work he presented to the
Queen at Hampton Court, and she very graciously
accepted the offering. It is nothing unusual now-
adays to find writing of almost if not quite as
minute character as this, seeing that the Ten
Commandments have been written in a compass
small enough to be covered by a fourpenny
piece !

An account is preserved in an old "Monthly
Magazine " of a beautiful specimen of penmanship
executed by a Mr. Beedell of Ottery St. Mary's.
This piece of workmanship was surrounded by an
elegant border, — itself the labour of six weeks,
— containing tastefully arranged within it the fol-
lowing figures : — " Common hare, varying hare of
the northern countries of Europe, pine martin,
otter, wild cat; harrier (hunting piece); three
foreign birds on a tree ; a correct representation of
Ottery St. Mary's Church, surrounded by a beau-
tiful border; ruins of a castle, encompassed by a
very neat and pretty border." At the bottom oC^k

i 4 INTRODUCTION.

this Mr. Beedell also wrote, as another specimen of
minute penmanship, the Lord's Prayer, Belief, and
two verses of the third Psalm, in the circumference
of a common-sized pea.

There is said to be a portrait of Queen Anne
among the treasures of the British Museum on
which appear a number of minute lines and
scratches, which, when examined through a micro-
scope, are discovered to be the entire contents of a
small folio book in the library. A similar effort in
the way of microscopic caligraphy was discovered
some years ago by a gentleman who had bought
at a sale a pen-and-ink portrait of Alexander
Pope, surrounded by a design in scroll-work.
Examining this through a glass, in order, if
possible, to discover the artist's name, he was
astonished to find that the fine lines in the
surrounding scroll were nothing less that a Life of
the poet, so minutely transcribed as only to be
legible by the aid of a magnifier. This was
believed to be an imitation of a similar effort in
the way of portraiture which was at one time in
the library of St. John's College at Oxford, where
a head of Charles I. was drawn in minute char-
acters, so fine as to resemble the lines of an
engraving, but which, when closely examined, was

INTRODUCTION. 15

found to be the Book of Psalms, the Creed, and
the Lord's Prayer. One other instance of this
kind of work has been recorded, that of a portrait
of Richelieu, which appears on the title of a French
book: the Cardinal's head is surrounded by a
glory of forty rays, each ray containing the name
of a French Academician. Of one person who was
an adept at this kind of writing, the almost in-
credible feat is recorded of placing the Lord's
Prayer, the Creed, seven of the Commandments,
the 103d, 133d, and 144th Psalms, with name and
date, within the circumference of a sixpence ! while
another is said to have written the whole Book of
Malachi in a pyramid the size of a little finger.

Without here noticing further any of the various
kinds of Literary Frivolities contained in the
following pages, — and of which, in many cases, the
examples have been greatly limited, — we cannot
conclude this Introduction without adverting to
one which, it is hoped, is quite unique, for nothing
approaching it in absurdity or inutility has come
under our notice, or that of any one else we trust, as
it might fairly be taken as an indication that some-
thing was decidedly wrong with the mental condi-
tion of the person who could throw away his time
and labour upon so frivolous a pursuit : it is give*v

16 INTRODUCTION.

here on the authority of an article which appears
in the " Leisure Hour." The case referred to w;
that of an unfortunate genius who had discovers d
that there were 33,535 ways of spelling the word
scissors! Imagine any sane person sitting down
and laboriously following out the idea of writing
any word, and this word in particular, 33,535
times ! Imagine the frequent revisals necessary to
ascertain the certainty of non-repetition — remind-
ing one forcibly of the labours of Sisyphus, always
pushing the stone up the hill, and then having
immediately to descend and repeat the process
when the stone had rolled down again ! Yet this
was actually done — done in a neat and handsome
manuscript volume, containing about three hundred
pages of three columns each. The most patient
man that ever lived might have been beaten in a
trial of this nature — the crank were nothing in
comparison !

( 17 )

ALLITERATION.

HE curious phase of Literary Frivolity
called Alliteration is the composition of
sentences or lines of verse with words
beginning with the same letter, and has been
considered by some critics a " false ornament in
poetry," by others has been looked upon as frivo-
lous, while a third class have sanctioned its use as
a worthy and impressive embellishment. It is a
somewhat mechanical aid to the rhythm of verse,
and in the reciting or reading of a long piece of
poetry, the reciter or reader might find his organs
of speech aided in some degree by the succession
of similar sounds, and this might also have a plea-
sant cadence to those who listened. However, this
could only apply for a short time, as alliteration
too long continued would weary and become ridi-
culous, and suggest that a laborious effort had been
made to keep up the alliterative strain, while the
pleasure derived would only be as transitory as

1 8 A LLITERA T10N.

that derived from witnessing the clever feats of an
acrobat, with a corresponding sigh of relief when
the performance was over.

" Tis not enough no harshness gives offence ;
The words must seem an echo of the sense."

Alliterative writing does not imply, however,
that each word or syllable must commence with
the same letter, it being sufficient that a repetition
of similar or imitative sounds are produced, so as
to give a certain degree of harmony and strength ;
and in the sense of having utility in this way,
alliteration has been used by the whole range of
poets. In the early ages such a feature in poetry
might have been welcome, and in some degree
necessary, when, as in Scandinavian, Old German,
and Icelandic verse, "the harmony neither de-
pended' on the quantity of syllables^ like that of the
ancient Greeks and Romans, nor on the rhymes at
the end, as in modern poetry, but consisted alto-
gether in alliteration, or a certain artful repetition
of the sounds in the middle of the verses. This
was adjusted according to certain rules of their
prosody, one of which was that every distich
should contain at least three words beginning with
the same letter or sound. Two of these corre-

ALLITERATION. 19

spondent sounds might be placed either in the first
or second line of the distich, and one in the other ;
but all three were not regularly to be crowded into
one line. This will be best understood by the
following examples :

' J/eire og -Mnne
Jlfoga heimdaller.

' Gab Cinunga
Enn Gras huerge.' " *

The writers of the early Teutonic and Celtic
tongues revelled with great effect in this trick of
speech— not only in solemn legal formularies, in
spells of horror, as well as in the flights of the
poet, but also in ordinary descriptions and in their
common proverbs — the Celtic especially readily
lending itself to this device of jingling repetition.
Several early English poems, written in this kind
of alliterative metre, without rhyme, are extant,
among which that entitled "Piers Plowman's
Visions" (written about 1350) is the one most
generally known; but few readers except those
whose delight is in musty tomes, and who are
deep in the mysteries of black-letter lore, are
acquainted with more than the name of that poem.

" Percy's Reliques."

20 ALLITERATION.

When our more ancient poetry was, towards the
end of last century, drawn forth from the oblivion
to which it had been too long consigned, the
public was seized with a kind of Gothic fever, and
was so delighted with the novelty of the feast, that
one and all declared everything was excellent —
antiquity became a sufficient passport to praise,
and much ingenuity was exercised in discover-
ing fanciful beauties in even the most worthless
productions. That excitement soon passed away,
but it produced excellent effects ; and, freeing the
mind from the shackles of a prevalent artificial
style, gave a liberty to appreciate and enjoy the
truer poetry of nature. But it must be granted
that the* diction and style of many of our elder
poets are so rude as to render the perusal of their
works distasteful to modern readers. Few, we
believe, except enthusiastic antiquaries, have had
the courage to travel through " Piers Plowman," or
would think their trouble repaid by the snatches
of true poetry interspersed ; and yet in this poem,
and many others equally rugged, passages of great
poetical power and beauty are to be found, which
deserve to be rescued from oblivion.

The following lines are quoted by Dr. Percy
from a manuscript supposed to be older than

ALLITERATION. 21

" Piers Plowman," and are descriptive of a vision
wherein the poet sees a combat between "our
lady Dame Life" and "the ugly fiend Dame
Death." The lines portray Dame Life, and are
a good example of the old style of alliteration as
used in place of modern rhyme :

" Shee was brighter of her £lee [colour]

Then was the bright sonn ;
Her rudd redder than the rose

That on the rise [bough] hangeth ;
J/eekly smiling with her wouth

And merry in her lookes ;
Ever /aughing for /ove

As shee /ike would.
And as shee came by the fonkes

The foughes eche one
They /owted to that /adye

And /ayd forth their branches ;
2?lossomes and £urgens [buds]

breathed full sweete ;
/'lowers /lourished in theyHth

Where shee/orth stepped ;
And the ^rasse, that was £ray,

Greened belive [instantly]."

An old Scottish poem by Dunbar (1465-1530),
"The Twa Maryit Wemen and the Wedo," so
indelicate as to place it outside the pale of all

22 ALLITERATION.

respectable homes, is remarkable for being com-
posed in this alliterative blank verse, a style not
known to have been used in Scotland previously.

About the beginning of the sixteenth century
this kind of versification began to change its form,
and at length the old uncouth verse of the ancient
writers was unfavourably looked upon when lack-
ing the ornament of rhyme. Yet when this latter
began to be superadded, all the niceties of allitera-
tion were retained along with it, and the song of
"Little John Nobody" exhibits the union very
clearly. This old ballad will be found in " Percy's
Reliques," and is a witty satire on the Reformation
under King Edward VI. We give the first and
last verses, it being too long to quote in its
entirety :

" In December, when the dayes draw to be short,
After November, when the nights wax noysome and

long;
As I past by a place privily at a port,
I saw one sit by himself making a song ;
His last talk of trifles, who told with his tongue
That few were fast i' the faith. I freyned that freak
Whether he wanted wit, or some had done him wrong.
He said, he was little John Nobody, that durst not
speake.

ALLITERATION. 23

Thus in no place, this Nobody, in no time I met,
Where no man, ne nought was, nor nothing did

appear;
Through the sound of a synagogue for sorrow I swett,
That Aeolus through the eccho did cause me to hear.
Then I drew me down into a dale, whereas the dumb-
deer
Did shiver for a shower ; but I shunted from a freyke :
For I would no wight in this world wist who I were,
But little John Nobody, that dare not once speake."

By degrees the correspondence of final sounds
engrossed the whole attention of the poet, and,
fully satisfying the reader, the internal embellish-
ment of alliteration was no longer studied exclu-
sively, and has latterly been applied only to light
and trivial subjects, to which it seems best adapted.
The poet who sets himself sedulously nowadays to
resuscitate this almost defunct limb of his art may
behold his own probable fate in that of Rogers,
a line of one of whose polished verses —

" So up the tide of time I turn my sail,"

was at once unmercifully rendered by an irre-
verent critic into —

" So up the tide of time I turn my tail."

Alliteration does, however, independently of its
greater suitability to whatever is light and trivial^

24 ALLITERATION.

when sparingly and discreetly used, add to the
beauty of a poetical sentiment, and may also aid
the force and piquancy of a witty remark. For
the one, take an example from Sydney Smith,
who, when contrasting the position of curates
and the higher dignitaries of the English Church,
spoke of them as " the Right Reverend Dives in
the palace, and Lazarus in orders at the gate,
doctored by dogs and comforted with crumbs;"
for the other, take Pope's line —

" Fields for ever fresh, and groves for ever green."

Thus when an alliterative phrase presents itself
with some degree of spontaneity, it adds to the
expressiveness of the sentiment, and Pope has
acknowledged this in a line which is itself alli-
terative —

" Apt alliteration's artful aid."

Still, when this " aid " is hunted after and strained
for, it is apt to become a deformity.

The best proof of the value in which alliteration
was formerly held is found in the fact that it has
been used more or less by all the poets, ancient
and modern, sacred and profane. The odes of
Anacreon abound in specimens of it, and it has

AL LITER A TION. 2$

added grace and dignity to the lines of Homer and
Virgil, has feathered the poetic shafts of Shake-
speare and Gay, shown itself in the volatile genius
of French poesy, and given emphasis and force
to the lines of Schlegel and Burger — lending its
" artful aid " to the poetry of almost every clime,
and tinging the literature of almost every language.
One of the earliest examples is the celebrated line
of Virgil —

"Quadrupedumque putrem sonitu quatit ungula campum" —

a line which is admired by the best critics as
illustrating, in a happy manner, "the measured
gallop of the haughty war-horse." This line, as Sir
Walter Scott says, " expressing a cavalry charge,"
was criticised severely by Scott's Triptolemus
Yellowley, who "opined that the combatants, in
their inconsiderate ardour, galloped over a new-
manured ploughed field." The lines written by
Virgil on the folding doors of the amphitheatre
may serve as another example of his alliterative
powers. He had written, anonymously, a couplet
containing an elegant compliment to the Emperor
Augustus, the authorship of which was claimed by
one Bathyllus. Chagrined at this, Virgil re-wrote
the original lines, with the following addition :

26 ALLITERATION.

" Hos ego versiculos feci, tulit alter honores
Sic vos non vobis ....
Sic vos non vobis ....
Sic vos non vobis ....
Sic vos non vobis ....

Various attempts were made, but without success,
to fill up the lines, when Virgil completed it him-
self as follows :

" Sic vos non vobis nidificatis aves ;
Sic vos non vobis vellera fertis boves ;
Sic vos non vobis, mellificatis apes ;
Sic vos non vobis fertis aratra boves."

The old English and Scottish ballads abound
in alliteration, and in Weber's " Ballad of Flodden
Field v — a poetical romance of the sixteenth cen-
tury — there are a number of good examples, and
here follow some extracts from it :

" Most liver* lads in Lonsdale bred,
With weapons of unwieldy weight ;
All such as Tatham Fells had fed,
Went under Stanley's streamer bright.

From Bolland billmen bold were boun,
With such as Bottom-Banks did hide ;

From Wharemore up to Whittington,
And all to Wenning Water side.

* Nimble, active.

ALLITERATION. 27

From Silverdale to Kent-Sand side,
Whose soil is sown with cockle-shells ;

From Cartmel eke and Conny-side,
With fellows fierce from Furney's fells.

All Lancashire for the most part

The lusty Stanley stout did lead ;
A stock of striplings, strong of heart,

Brought up from babes with beef and bread.

From Warton unto Warrington,

From Wigan unto Wiresdale,
From Weddicar to Waddington,

From old Ribchester to Ratchdale.

From Poulton and Preston with pikes,
They with the Stanley stout forth went ;

From Pemberton and Pilling Dikes,
For battle bilimen bold were bent.

With fellows fresh and fierce in fight,

Which Horton Fields turned out in scores ;

With lusty lads, liver and light,

From Blackburn and Bolton i' the Moors.

With children chosen from Cheshire,

In armour bold for battle drest ;
And many a gentleman and squire

Were under Stanley's streamer prest.
.....

Strike but three strokes with stomachs stout,
And shoot each man sharp arrows three^ —

28 ALLITERA TION.

And you shall see without all doubt
The scoulding Scots begin to flee.

• • • • •

The master Scot did mark so right

That he with bullet brast his brain,
And hurled his heels his head above ;

Then piped he such a peel again,
The Scots he from their ordnance drave."

Amongst our early poets, no one gives a better
example of alliteration than Quarles in one of his
Emblems (Book II. Emblem 2). Quarles was a
poet who did not need the aid of alliteration to
"lend liquidity to his lines," and though often
queer, quaint, and querulous, is never prosy,
prolix, or puling. The lines are as follow :

" Oh, how our widened arms can over- stretch
Their own dimensions ! How our hands can reach
Beyond their distance ! How our yielding breast
Can shrink to be more full and full possest
Of this inferior orb ! How earth refined
Can cling to sordid earth ! How kind to kind !
We gape, we grasp, we gripe, add store to store ;
Enough requires too much ; too much craves more.
• •••*•.

The grave is sooner cloyed than men's desire :
We cross the seas, and midst her waves we burn,

ALLITERA TION. 29

Transporting lives, perchance that ne'er return ;
We sack, we ransack to the utmost sands
Of native kingdoms, and of foreign lands ;
We travel sea and soil, we pry, we prowl,
We progress, and we prog from pole to pole ;
We spend our midday sweat, our midnight oil,
We tire the night in thought, the day in toil."

Spenser, Dryden, and Gray — the latter two
professedly taking their style from the former — all
dealt largely in alliteration. Gray especially gave
particular heed to this embellishment, and in his
odes' almost every strophe begins with an allitera-
tive line — thus :

" Ruin seize thee, ruthless king."

" Weave the warp, weave the woof."

" Eyes that glow, and fangs that grin."

" Thoughts that breathe, and words that burn."

Spenser gives some very good examples :

" In woods, in waves, in wars, she wonts to dwell —
And will be found with peril and with pain."

" They cheerly chaunt, and rhymes at random flung."

"Still, when she slept, he kept both watch and ward,
And when she waked, he waited diligent."

" He used to slug, to sleep, in slothful shade."

The early Scottish poets also used this feature
— Gawain Douglas, Dunbar, and Alexander Sco^.

30 ALLITERATION.

especially. Dunbar's " Dance of the Seven Deadly
Sins," a poem of animated picturesqueness not
unlike Collins* "Ode to the Passions," contains
the following :

" Then Ire came in, with sturt and strife,
His hand was aye upon his knife,
He brandished like a bear ;
Boasters, braggarts, and barganeris : *
After him passit in pairs,

All bodin in feir of weir, t

• • * * •

Next in the dance followed Envy,
Filled full of feud and felony,

Hid malice and despite."

Alexander Scot, who has been called the Scottish
Anacreon, sent " Ane New Year's Gift" to Queen
Mary, which contains many alliterative lines, such
as the following, when, speaking of the Reformers
of his day, he says they go about —

" Rugging and ryving up kirk rents like rooks ;

and the Address concludes with a stanza begin-
ning—

" Fresh, fulgent, flourist, fragrant flower formose,
Lantern to love, of ladies lamp and lot,
Cherry maist chaste, chief carbuncle and chose," &c.

* Bullies. t Arrayed in trappings of war.

ALLITERATION. 3*

Alexander Montgomery, another Scottish poet
contemporary with Scot, wrote an allegorical poem
entitled " The Cherry and the Slae," in which are
some sweet and striking natural descriptions written
in richly alliterative verse, of which we give two
stanzas :

" The cushat croods, the corbie cries,
The cuckoo conks, the prattling pies

To geek there they begin ;
The jargon of the jangling jays,
The cracking craws and keckling kays,
They deav'd me with their din ;
The painted pawn, with Argus eyes,

Can on his May-cock call,
The turtle wails on wither'd trees,
And Echo answers all.

Repeating, with greeting,
How fair Narcissus fell,
By lying and spying
His shadow in the welL

The air was sober, saft, and sweet,
Nae misty vapours, wind, nor weet,

But quiet, calm, and clear ;
To foster Flora's fragrant flowers,
Whereon Apollo's paramours

Had trinkled mony a tear ;

32 ALLITERATION.

The which, like silver shakers, shined,

Embroidering Beauty's bed,
Wherewith their heavy heads declined
In Mayfe's colours clad ;

Some knopping, some dropping

Of balmy liquor sweet,
Excelling and smelling
Through Phcebus , wholesome heat."

Neither has Shakespeare omitted this feature, for,
amid many others, we find this in " As You Like
It : "—

"The churlish chiding of the winter's wind."

Again, in " Love's Labour's Lost," Master Holo-
fernes says : —

" I will something affect the letter, for it argues facility —
The preyful princess pierced and pricked a pretty
pleasing pricket."

Shakespeare has also this other example : —

" She sings so soft, so sweet, so soothing still,
That through the throat ten thousand tones there thrill."

The following couplet applies to the famous
Cardinal Wolsey : —

" Begot by butchers, but by bishops bred,
How high his honour holds his haughty head ! "

ALLITERA T/OAT. 33

Lord North, at the court of James I., wrote a
set of sonnets each beginning with a letter of the
alphabet in regular succession ; and in the seven-
teenth century the device of alliteration was
carried to the verge of absurdity, when, even in
the pulpit, the preacher would address his flock as
the " chickens of the Church, the sparrows of the
Spirit, and the sweet swallows of salvation." The
old divines give many curious specimens of this
peculiarity of composition. For instance, in
Trapp's Commentary on the Bible, concerning the
passage in Proverbs iv. 16, containing the words,
"For they sleep not," the quaint old author
remarks : " As empty stomachs can hardly sleep,
so neither can graceless persons, till gorged and
glutted with sweetmeats of sin, with the murdering
morsels of mischief." Again, on Jeremiah xxviii.
17, speaking of the death of the false prophet
Hananiah, Trapp says : " Such a hoof is grown
over some men's hearts, as neither ministry, nor
misery, nor miracle, nor mercy,can possibly mollify."
About the same time, also, books sometimes re-
ceived curious alliterative titles, as " The Hiveful of
Honey," "The Handful of Honeysuckles," "The
Seven Sobs of a Sorrowful Soul for Sin," &c.
Sir Thomas Browne gives another instance in the

34 ALLITERATION.

following sentence : " Even that vulgar and tavern
music which makes one man merry, another mad,
strikes in me a deep fit of devotion and a profound
contemplation of the first composer," &c.

Pope gives the idea of labour in the following
line by the very difficulty of pronouncing the
same recurring sound :

" Up the high hill he heaves the huge round stone ; "

and by the alliteration in the following he connects
three similar things, and shows the contrast of two
others :

" Puffs, powders, patches, bibles, billet-doux."

Dean Peacock's " Life of Dr. Thomas Young "
has this :

" Medical men, my mood mistaking,
Most mawkish monstrous messes making,
Molest me much ; more manfully
My mind might meet my malady ;
Medicine's mere mockery murders me."

Similar to the above are the following verses,
which appeared some time ago in a volume of
poems called "Songs of Singularity," by the
London Hermit. They are supposed to be a
Serenade in M flat, sung by Major Marmaduke

ALLITERATION. 35

Muttinhead to Mademoiselle Madeline Mendosa
Marriott :

" My Madeline ! my Madeline !

Mark my melodious midnight moans ;
Much may my melting music mean,
My modulated monoton&s.

My mandolin's mild minstrelsy, t

My mental music magazine,
My mouth, my mind, my memory,

Must mingling murmur * Madeline.'

Muster 'mid midnight masquerades,
Mark Moorish maidens', matrons' mien,

'Mongst Murcia's most majestic maids
Match me my matchless Madeline.

Mankind's malevolence may make

Much melancholy music mine ;
Many my motives may mistake,

My modest merits much malign.

My Madeline's most mirthful mood
Much mollifies my mind's machine ;

My mournfulness' magnitude

Melts — makes me merry — Madeline !

Match-making ma's may machinate,
Manoeuvring misses me misween ;

Mere money may make many mate ;
My magic motto's, ' Madeline ! '

36 ALLITERATION.

Melt, most mellifluous melody,

Midst Murcia's misty mounts marine,

Meet me 'mid moonlight — marry me,
Madonna mia ! — my Madeline ! "

The following is the 49th chapter of " Tusser's
Husbandry" (1590), and is

" A brief conclusion, where you may see
Each word in the verse begin with a T."

" The thrifty that teacheth the thriving to thrive,
Teach timely to traverse the thing that thou 'trive

[contrive],
Transferring thy toiling, to timeliness taught,
Thus teaching thee temp'rance to temper thy thought.
Take trusty (to trust to) that thinketh to thee,
That trustily thriftiness trowleth to thee.
Then temper thy travell to tarry the tide,
This teacheth thee thriftiness, twenty times try'd.
Take thankful thy talent, thank thankfully those
That thriftily teacheth thy time to transpose.
Troth twice to be teached, teach twenty times ten.
This trade thou that taketh, take thrift to thee then."

The song annexed is founded on the peculiarity
known as the Newcastle burr, and first appeared
in a provincial paper in December 1791 :

" Rough rolled the roaring river's stream,
And rapid ran the rain,

ALLITERATION. 37

When Robin Rutter dreamt a dream
Which racked his heart with pain.

He dreamt there was a raging bear
Rushed from the rugged rocks,

And strutting round with horrid stare
Breathed terror to the brocks.*

But Robin Rutter drew his sword,

And rushing forward right,
The horrid creature's throat he gored,

And barred his rueful spite.
Then, stretching forth his brawny arm

To drag him to the stream,
He grappled Grizzle, rough and warm,

Which roused him from his dream."

The subjoined advertisement appeared in a
Manchester paper in 1829:

Spanker :
" The Property of O D .

" Saturday, the 1 6th September next, will be sold, or
set up for sale, at Skibbereen :

"A strong, staunch, steady, sound, stout, safe, sinewy,
serviceable, strapping, supple, swift, smart, sightly,
sprightly, spirited, sturdy, shining, sure-footed, sleek,
smooth, spunky, well-skinned, sized, and shaped sorrel
steed, of superlative symmetry, styled Spanker; with
small star and snip, square- sided, slender-shouldered,

Badgers.

38 ALLITERATION.

sharp-sighted, and steps singularly stately; free from
strain, spavin, spasms, stringhalt, staggers, strangles,
surfeit, seams, strumous swellings, scratches, splint,
squint, scurf, sores, scattering, shuffling, shambling-gait, or
sickness of any sort. He is neither stiff-mouthed, shabby-
coated, sinew-shrunk, saddlebacked, shell-toothed, skin-
scabbed, short-winded, splay-footed, or shoulder-slipped ;
and is sound in the sword-point and stifle-joint. Has
neither sick-spleen, sleeping-evil, snaggle-teeth, subcutan-
eous sores, or shattered hoofs ; nor is he sour, sulky, surly,
stubborn, or sullen in temper. Neither shy nor skittish,
slow, sluggish, or stupid. He never slips, strips, strays,
starts, stalks, stops, shakes, snivels, snaffles, snorts,
stumbles, or stocks in his stall or stable, and scarcely or
seldom sweats. Has a showy, stylish switch-tail, or
stern, and a safe set of shoes on ; can feed on stubble,
sainfoin, sheaf-oats, straw, sedge, or Scotch grass. Carries
sixteen stone with surprising speed in his stroke over a
six-foot sod or a stone wall. His sire was the Sly Sob-
bersides, on a sister of Spindleshanks by Sampson, a
sporting son of Sparkler, who won the sweepstakes and
subscription plate last session at Sligo. His selling price is
sixty-seven pounds, sixteen shillings and sixpence sterling."

Our later poets have occasionally found a charm
and aid in alliteration, and Coleridge in one of his
poems gives a fine specimen :

" The fair breeze blew, the white foam flew,
The furrow followed free."

ALLITERATION. 39

And Burns terms Tarn O' Shanter —

" A blethering, blustering, drunken blellum ;"

while he calls the ploughman's collie, in the " Twa

Dogs"—

A rhyming, ranting, roving billie."

Sir Walter Scott gives the following verse :

" St Magnus control thee ! that martyr of treason ;
St. Ronan rebuke thee with rhyme and with reason !
By the mass of St. Martin, the might of St. Mary,
Begone, or thy weird shall be worse if thou tarry !
Begone to thy stone, for thy coffin is scant of thee ;
The worm, thy playfellow, wails for the want of thee !
Phantom, fly hence, take the cross for a token !
Hence pass till Hallowmass ! My spell is spoken ! "

Lord Byron, in the opening stanzas of the
" Curse of Minerva " gives this verse :

" Slow sinks, more lovely ere his race be run,
Along Morea's hills the setting sun ;
Not, as in northern climes, obscurely bright,
But one unclouded blaze of living light ;
O'er the hushed deep the yellow beam he throws,
Gilds the green wave that trembles as it glows.
On old iEgina's rock and Hydra's isle
The god of gladness sheds his parting smile ;
O'er his own regions lingering loves to shine,
Though there his altars are no more divine.

4 o ALLITERATION.

Descending fast, the mountain-shadows kiss
Thy glorious gulf, unconquered Salamis !
Their azure arches through the long expanse,
More deeply purpled, meet his mellowing glance,
And tenderest tints, along their summits driven,
Mark his gay course and own the hues of heaven ;
Till darkly shaded from the land and deep,
Behind his Delphian rock he sinks to sleep. ,,

A modern novel,* published lately, gives
instances of how deftly similar sounds can be
interwoven even in prose. Speaking of a certain
bishop, the author says he has "the respect of
rectors, the veneration of vicars, the admiration of
archdeacons, and the cringing courtesy of curates."
In another place, the bishop's wife says "there are
regal rectors, vicious vicars, and captious curates."

Lithgow, the eccentric traveller, wrote a poem
in which every word began with the same letter,
of which the first two lines are here given :

" Glance, glorious Geneve, gospel-guiding gem,
Great God, govern good Geneve's ghostly game."

The following lines are by a Mr. Dunbar, and
are descriptive of the five handsome daughters of
the late Scroope Colquitt, Esq., of Green Bank,
Liverpool :

* " The Princess Clarice," by Mortuaei CoWvas.

ALLITERATION. \\

" Minerva-like, majestic Mary moves,
Law, Latin, liberty, learned Lucy loves,
Eliza's elegance each eye espies,
Serenely silent Susan smiles surprise,
From fops, fools, flattery, fairest Fanny flies. ,,

The best of this class of poems, however, is said
to be the following :

The Siege of Belgrade.

" Ardentem aspicio atque arrectis auribus asto."— Virgil.

An Austrian army, awfully arrayed,

Boldly by battery besieged Belgrade ;

Cossack commanders cannonading come,

Dealing destruction's devastating doom ;

Every endeavour engineers essay

For fame, for fortune, forming furious fray ;

Gaunt gunners grapple, giving gashes good ;

Heaves high his head heroic hardihood ;

Ibrahim, Islam, Ismail, imps in ill,

Jostle John, Jarovlitz, Jem, Joe, Jack, Jill,

Kick kindling Kutosoff, kings' kingsmen kill ;

Labour low levels loftiest, longest lines ;

Men marched 'mid moles, 'mid mounds, 'mid mur-

d'rous mines.
Now nightfall's near, now needful nature nods,
Opposed, opposing, overcoming odds.
Poor peasants, partly purchased, partly ^csssrA^
Quite quaking, Quarter \ quartet \ ag&iSi^ ojassfc-

42 ALLITERA TION.

Reason returns, recalls redundant rage,

Saves sinking soldiers, softens seigniors sage.

Truce, Turkey, truce ! truce, treach'rous Tartar train !

Unwise, unjust, unmerciful Ukraine,

Vanish, vile vengeance ! vanish, victory vain !

Wisdom wails war — wails warring words. What were

Xerxes, Xantippe, Ximenes, Xavier ?

Yet Yassey's youth, ye yield your youthful yest,

Zealously, zanies, zealously, zeal's zest

The foregoing has been variously imitated, and
here are a few specimens :

Arthur asked Amy's affection ;

Bet, being Benjamin's bride,
Coolly cut Charlie's connection ;

Deborah, Dicky denied.
Eleanor's eye, efficacious,

Frederick's fatality feels ;
Giles gained Georgiana — good gracious !

Harry hates Helen's high heels.
Isaac is Isabel's idol ;

Jenny jeers Jonathan Jones ;
Katherine knows knock-knee'd Kit Kriedal ;

Love's leering Lucy's long bones.
Mary meets mortifications ;

Nicholas Nancy neglects ;
Oliver's odd observations

Proves Peter poor Patty protects.

ALLITERA TION. 43

Quaker Quintilian's queer quibbles

Red Rachel's reasons resist :
Soft Simon's sympathy scribbles

Tales to tall Tabitha Twist.
Urs'la unthinking, undoing

Volatile Valentine's vest ;
William's wild wickeder wooing

'Xceeds youthful Zelica's zest.

An Artful and Amusing Attempt at Alphabetical
Alliteration Addressing Aurora.

Awake Aurora ! and across all airs

By brilliant blazon banish boreal Bears,

Crossing cold Canope's celestial crown,

Deep darts descending dive delusive down.

Entranced each eve Europa's every eye

Firm fixed forever fastens faithfully,

Greets golden guerdon gloriously grand ;

How holy Heaven holds high His hollow hand !

Ignoble Ignorance, inapt indeed,

Jeers jestingly just Jupiter's jereed !

Knavish Khamschatkans, knightly Kurdsmen know

Long Labrador's light lustre looming low ;

'Midst myriad multitudes majestic might

No nature nobler numbers Neptune's night.

Opal of Oxus, or old OpluVs ores,

Pale Pyrrhic pyres prismatic purple pours —

Quiescent quivering, quickly, quaintly queex.*

Rich, rosy, regal rays iesp\exitag& xe» \

44 ALLITERA TION.

Strange shooting streamers, streaking starry skies,
Trail their triumphant tresses — trembling ties.
Unseen, unhonoured Ursa — underneath,
Veiled, vanquished — vainly vying — vanisheth :
Wild Woden, warning, watchful — whispers wan
Xanthitic Xeres, Xerxes, Xenophon,
Yet yielding yesternight, Yules yell yawns
Zenith's zebraic zigzag, Zodiac zones.

Exercise on the Alphabet.

Andrew Airpump asked his aunt her ailment.
Billy Button bought a buttered biscuit
Captain Crackscull cracked a catchpoll's coxcomb.
Davy Doldrum dreamt he drove a dragon.
Enoch Elkrig eat an empty eggshell.
Francis Fripple flogged a Frenchman's filly.
Gaffer Gilpin got a goose and gander.
Humphrey Hunchback had a hundred hedgehogs.
Inigo Impey itched for an Indian image.
Jumping Jackey jeered a jesting juggler.
Kimbo Kemble kicked his kinsman's kettle.
Lanky Lawrence lost his lass and lobster.
Matthew Mendlegs missed a mangled monkey.
Neddy Noodle nipped his neighbour's nutmegs.
Oliver Oglethorpe ogled an owl and oyster.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pepper.
Quixote Quixite quizzed a queerish quidbox.
Rawdy Rumpus rode a rawboned racer.
Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of small coal.

ALLITERA TION. 45

Tiptoe Tommy turned a Turk for twopence.
Uncle Usher urged an ugly urchin.
Villiam Veedy viped his vig and vaistcoat
Walter Waddle won a walking wager.
X, Y, Z have made my brains to crack O —
X smokes, Y snuffs, Z chews too strong tobacco.
Though oft by X, Y, Z much lore is taught,
Still Peter Piper beats them all to naught

The preceding is a literary folly indeed; and
though the following is not much better, it is at
least sensible :

Alliterative Love Letter.

Adored and angelic Amelia, accept an ardent and
artless amourist's 'affection, alleviate an anguished
admirer's alarms, and answer an amorous applicant's
ardour. Ah, Amelia ! all appears an awful aspect.
Ambition, avarice, and arrogance, alas ! are attractive
allurements, and abuse an ardent attachment Appease
an aching and affectionate adorer's alarms, and anon
acknowledge affianced Albert's alliance as acceptable
and agreeable. Anxiously awaiting an affectionate and
affirmative answer, accept an admirer's aching adieu.
Always angelic and adorable Amelia's affectionate
amourist, Albert

Xtravanganza Xtraordinary.

Charles X., x-king of France, was xtravag,atitbj Y&&at&~ k
but is xceedingly xecrated. Yte -&&&£& T&rasKfiksaa?*

46 ALLITERATION.

xcellence in xigency \ he was xemplary in xternals, but
xtrinsic on xamination ; he was xtatic under xhortation,
xtreme in xcitement, and xtraordinary in xtempore xpres-
sion. He was xpatriated for his xcesses ; and, to xpiate
his xtravagance, xisted and xpired in xile.

Here is another kind of alliterative versification :

To Mrs. Gee on her Marriage.

Sure, madam, by your choice your taste we see ;

What's ^ood, or ^reat, or ^rand, without a G ?

A ^odly #low must sure on G depend,

Or oddly low our righteous thoughts must end.

The want of G all gratitude effaces ;

And, without G, the Graces would run races !

The Latin language has also had its versifiers
of this kind, for we find that one Hugbald, a monk,
wrote an "Ecloga de Calvis," in which all the
words begin with a c. So also in the "Nugae
Venales," there is a Latin poem of a hundred lines
called "Pugna Porcorum, per Publium Porcium,
poetam," in which all the words begin with a /.
Subjoined are a few lines of this curious effusion :

" Propterea properans Proconsul, poplite prono,
Prsecipitem Plebem, pro patrum pace proposeit.
Persia paulisper, pubes preciosa ! precamur.
Pensa profectum parvum pugna? peragendae.
Plures plorabant, postquam prsecelsa premetur

ALLITERATION. 47

Praelatiira patrum, porcelli percutientur
Passim, posteaquam pingues porci periere."

A Latin poem in praise of William III. com-
mences thus :

" Agglomerata acies, addensans agminis alas,
Advolat auxiliis, arvoque effulget aperto :
Auriacusque ardens animis, animosior arte,
Auctoratus adest, arma aureus, aureus arma
Adfremit ; auratis armis accingitur armos. ,,

Perhaps the most notable Latin example is a
poem written by Christianus Pierius, called " Chris-
tus Cruxifixus," said to extend to nearly one thou-
sand lines, each word of which begins with c —

" Consilebratulae cunctorum carmine certum," &c.

Whatever beauty or utility may lie in allitera-
tion, it is to be found largely in the proverbial
expressions and common sayings of all countries.
Thus, in our own, we frequently couple u hearts and
hands," "hearths and homes/' "life and limb," "great
and good ; " whilst in proverbs we have " Better buy
than borrow," "Wilful waste makes woful want,"
" Love me little, love me long," " Like master like
man," " Money makes the mare to go/' " A. *x*&
tale never tines (loses) in \iv^ te^va^V %lc^%^~

48 ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES.

Our last instance of alliteration is one picked up
in a provincial newspaper, containing an account
of a local fUe % and not only the words, but each
syllable in the line, begins with the same letter :

" Let lovely lilies line Lee's lonely lane."

Alphabetic Curiosities— Single-Rhymed

Alphabets.

As a fitting pendant to alliteration, though only
in a slight degree connected with it, we give here
some alphabetic curiosities.

Acrostic Verses on Writing {circa 1785).

All letters even at the head and feet must stand ;

Bear light your pen and keep a steady hand ;

Carefully mind to mend in every line —

Down strokes are black, but upper strokes are fine.

Enlarge your writing if it be too small ;

Full in proportion make your letters all ;

Game not in school-time, when you ought to write ;

Hold in your elbow, sit fair to the light.

Join all your letters by a fine hair-stroke ;

Keep free from blots your piece and writing-book.

Learn the command of hand by frequent use 3

Much practice doth to penmanship conduce.

ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES. 49

Never deny the lower boys assistance ;
Observe from word to word an equal distance.
Provide yourself of all things necessary ;
Quarrel not in school though others dare you.
Rule your lines straight and make them very fine ;
Set stems of letters fair above the line,
The tops above the stems — the tails below ;
Use pounce to paper if the ink goes through.
Veer well your piece, compare how much youVe

mended ;
Wipe clean your pen when all your task is ended.
Your spelling mind — write each word true and well ;
Zealously strive your fellows to excel.

Life's Alphabet.

Active in life's race we start,
Bounding on with joyous heart,
Counting neither cost nor pain,
Dazzled with the hopes of gain ;
Earthly pleasures, earthly joys,
Flock around us merry boys.

Gracefully we lead the van,
Honours wait the "coming man," —
Indian wealth and Grecian fame
Join to raise an honoured name.
Kingdoms tremble at our tread,
Laurels wait to crown our head.

Measured next our steady pace —
Nothing wears so bright a. fec&.

50 ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES.

Oft we think our labours vain,
Pleasures linger on the wane ;
Quickly from our eager grasp
Rush the phantoms of the past.

Stooping, then, amid the strife,
Tempest-tossed and tired of life,
Unadorned with laurels rare,
Vain the hope to do and dare ;
Welcome now the lowly bed —
Youthful visions all are fled.

The following was originally published at the
time of the Crimean War, each line being accom-
panied by an appropriate illustration designed by
R. B, Brough :

The Turkish Alphabet.

A was an Aberdeen wise in debates :

B was a Bear taught to dance on hot plates ;

C was a Czar who would whip round the world ;

D the Defiance that at him was hurled.

E was an Emperor struck with dismay ;

F was a Frenchman in Besika Bay.

G was the Greeks who for freedom would strike ;

H was a Hospodar warranted like.

I was an Insult that hurt the Porte's pride ;

J was a Jassy by friends occupied.

K was the Knife to which war was declared ;

L was a Lion, and how much he cared.

M was a Minister sniffing a row ;

N was a Newspaper, Turkey's friend now.

ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES. 51

O was Own Correspondent so trusty ;

P was a Port[e], old and thin and turned crusty.

Q was a Question whose solving we all laugh at ;

R was a Rout of the Russians at Kdlafat ;

S was a Supplement telling it all ;

T was a Tradesman who'd sold for a falL

U was an Urquhart for foresight well vaunted ;

V was the Vessels still ready if wanted.

W was a Westmoreland — teach kings he used to ;
X the 'Xtremities Russia's reduced to.

Y was a Yell for the friends of the Czar ; and
Z was the Zanies who're frightened at war.

The following is taken from an old "Scots
Almanac," and is supposed to be one of the toasts
popular among the Jacobites, being known as

Lord Duff's Toast.

ABC . . A Blessed Change.

D E F . . Down every Foreigner.

G H J , . God Help James.

KLM . . Keep Lord Mar.

NOP . . Noble Ormond Preserve.

QRS . . Quickly Resolve Stuart.

T U V W . Truss up Vile Whigs.

XYZ . . 'Xert Your Zeal.

L E G on the Death of L X and R N S,
Squire of the Coun T of S X.

In S X once there lived M N,
Who was Xceeditvg W \

52 ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES.

But with so much OBCT
It almost closed his 1 1.

When from his chair E would R 1 1,
U would have laughed to C

The awkwardness his fat did cause
To this old O D T.

But barring that E was so fat,
E was a right good fell O,

And had such horror of XS
U never saw him mell O.

N O O so red E did not like,
As that which wine will give,

So did S A to keep from drink
As long as E did live.

Two daughters fair this old man had,
Called Miss M A and L N,

Who, when the old chap took his E E,
Would try to T T the men.

Over the C C, these maids to please,
There came two gallants gay ;

M A and L N ceased to T T,
And with them ran away.

These gallants did them so M U U,
And used such an M N C T

Of flattery, U must X Q Q
Their fugitive propensity.

The poor old man heaved many S 1 1,
For frail M A and L N 5

ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES. 53

£ called each gallant gay a rogue,
A rascal, and a villain.

And all with half an I might C

His gradual D K,
Till M T was his old arm-chair,

And E had passed away.

Single-Rhymed Alphabets.

Some years ago a writer who signed himself
"Eighty-One" sent to "Notes and Queries " an
alphabet, single-rhymed, and challenged the Eng-
lish-speaking world to produce another. " Eighty-
One's " production was the following :

A was an Army to settle disputes ;

B was a Bull, not the mildest of brutes ;

C was a Cheque, duly drawn upon Coutts ;

D was King David, with harps and with lutes ;

E was an Emperor, hailed with salutes ;

F was a Funeral, followed by mutes ;

G was a Gallant in Wellington boots ;

H was a Hermit, and lived upon roots ;

I was Justinian his Institutes ;

K was a Keeper, who commonly shoots ;

L was a Lemon the sourest of fruits ;

M was a Ministry — say Lord Bute's ;

N was Nicholson, famous on flutes ;

O was an Owl, that hisses and hoots ;

P was a Pond, full of ieecl^ axA. Tks*\s>\

54 ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES.

Q was a Quaker in whitey-brown suits ;

R was a Reason, which Paley refutes ;

S was a Sergeant with twenty recruits ;

T was Ten Tories of doubtful reputes \
U was Uncommonly bad cheroots ;

V Vicious motives, which malice imputes ;
X an Ex-King driven out by emeutes ;

Y is a Yawn ; then, the last rhyme that suits,
Z is the Zuyder Zee, dwelt in by coots.

The challenge of "Eighty-One" was taken up,
and in a very short time a number of pieces were
sent in to the Editor, of which only a few were
selected and published. Mr. J. B. Workard sent
two, of which we take the first :

A 's the accusative ending in -am ;

B was a Butcher, who slaughtered a lamb ;

C was a candidate, " plucked " on exam — ;

D was a Door that was shut with a slam ;

E was an Error in Times telegram ;

F was a foreigner come from Siam ;

G was Guava — a breadfruit or yam ;

H was a Hypocrite, Humbug, or sham ;

I was an Infidel, sneering at " flam ; "

J was a Jew — call him A&braham j

K was King Cole, who was fond of a dram ;

L was a Lady, accosted as Ma'am ;

M was her Mother — we won't say her dam ;

N was a noodle, his praenomen Sam ;

O was an Omnibus slid on a tram ;

ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES. 55

P were some Praises, so faint as to damn \

Q was the Queen — ilia da gloriam ;

R was a Rampant and Riotous Ram ;

S was a Sinner, as you are and I am ;

T was a Tort, or an action qui Tam ;

U was the Univ — , on the banks of the Cam ;

V was a Viscount — suppose we say Pam ;
W a Woman addicted to jam ;

X an exasperous letter to cram ;

Y was a Yankee digesting a clam ;
Z was a Zetlander curing a ham.

The next is by Mr. Mortimer Collins :

A is my Amy, so slender of waist ;

B 's little Bet, who my button replaced ;

C is good Charlotte, good maker of paste ;

D is Diana, the forest who traced;

E is plump Ellen, by Edward embraced ;

F is poor Fanny, by freckles defaced ;

G is Griselda, unfairly disgraced ;

H is the Helen who Ilion effaced ;

I is fair Ida, that princess strait-laced ;

J is the Judy Punch finds to his taste \

K, Katty darling, by fond lovers chased ;

L is Laurette, in coquetry encased ;

M is pale Margaret, saintly and chaste ;

N is gay Norah, o'er hills who has raced ;

O is sweet Olive, a girl olive-faced ;

P 's pretty Patty, so daintily-paced \

Q some fair Querist, in blue stockings placed ;

R is frail Rose, from hei txufc s»\&m &£$&&£& \

56 ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES.

S is brisk Sail, who a chicken can baste ;
T is Theresa, at love who grimaced ;
U is pure Una, that maid undebased ;

V is Victoria, an empire who graced ;
W is Winifred, time who will waste ;

X is Xantippe, for scolding well-braced ;

Y 's Mrs. Yelverton : ending in haste,
Z is Zenobia, in panoply cased.

The last we select bears the signature of
E. A. D.:

A stands for Apple, most useful of trees ;

B for the busiest of creatures, the Bees ;

C for a Cold, that will cause you to wheeze ;

D for a Doctor, that will cure you for fees ;

E for an Earwig, your hearing to tease ;

F for a Fortune in lacs of rupees ;

G for a Goblet of wine with its lees ;

H for a Horse, but with two broken knees ;

I for an Iceberg, on which you will freeze ;

J for a Jumper, that hops like parched peas ;

K for a Kirtle, worn over chemise ;

L for a Lady, whose hand you may squeeze ;

M for the Mineral called Manganese ;

N for a Nun, among strict devotees ;

O for an Octave in musical glees ;

P for a Pope, with his crosses and keys ;

Q for a Quilt, that will harbour the fleas ;

R for Religion, where no one agrees ;

S stands for Snuff, that will cause you to sneeze ;

T for a Table of marriage degrees ;

ALPHABETIC CURIOSITIES. 57

U for an Ulcer, a horrid disease ;

V stands for Virtue, that nobody sees ;
W for Welshman, fondest of cheese ;
X for Xenodochy,* strangers to ease ;

Y for a Yawl, just catching the breeze ;

Z stands for Zenith — or Zeal — which you please.

Xenodochy, "reception of strangers."

( 53 )

LIPOGRAMS.

IPOGRAM is the name applied to a species
of verse in which a certain letter, either
vowel or consonant, is altogether omitted
— that is to say, the author in what he writes will
avoid the use of one letter in particular ; a kind
of literary work involving an amount of labour
and ingenuity altogether inadequate to the result
achieved ; and if to anything at all in this book
the title of Literary Frivolity may be more specially
applied, it is to this.

One of the earliest who tried this kind of verse
was the Greek poet Lasus (538 B.C.), who wrote an
ode upon the Centaurs and a hymn to Ceres with-
out inserting the letter s in the composition ; and
it is recorded of another Greek, Tryphiodorus, also
of the sixth century B.C., that he composed a poem
on the destruction of Troy in twenty-four books,
from each of which in succession was excluded one
letter of the Greek alphabet : the first book had no

LIPOGRAMS. 59

a, the second no /8, the third no 7, and so on
throughout. The works of Pindar also contain an
ode in which the letter s does not appear ; so that
if this kind of literary folly has little beauty, it has
at least the sanction of antiquity.

Several French poets have written works after
this fashion, and some of those of Lope de Vega —
works now little heard of, and perhaps better so,
since many of these were of unworthy character —
are lipogrammatic. The Spanish poet wrote no
less than fifteen hundred plays; and among De
Vega's other writings are five tales, from each of
which one of the five vowels was excluded — a
conceit which must have cost their author consi-
derable labour.

Gregorio Leti on one occasion wrote a discourse
throughout which he omitted the letter r; and in
the sixth century Fabius Fulgentius, a Christian
monk, performed a similar feat to that of Tryphi-
odorus. This fashion seems also to have ex-
tended to the farther East, for Isaac Disraeli tells
that " a Persian poet read to the celebrated Jami a
'gazel' of his own composition, which Jami did not
like ; but the writer replied it was notwithstanding
a very curious sonnet, for the letter Aliffvras not to
be found in any one of the words V Y&xe\ ^ax^asr

60 L1P0GRAMS.

tically replied, ' You can do a better thing yet :
take away all the letters from every word you have
written ! ' "

The following example of a lipogrammatic song
does not contain the letter s :

Come, Love, Come.

Oh ! come to-night : for naught can charm

The weary time when thou'rt away.
Oh ! come ; the gentle moon hath thrown

O'er bower and hall her quivering ray.
The heather-bell hath mildly flung

From off her fairy leaf the bright
And diamond dewdrop that had hung

Upon that leaf — a gem of light.

Then come, love, come.

To-night the liquid wave hath not —

Illumined by the moonlit beam
Playing upon the lake beneath,

Like frolic in an autumn dream —
The liquid wave hath not, to-night,

In all her moonlit pride, a fair
Gift like to them that on thy lip

Do breathe and laugh, and home it there.

Then come, love, come.

To-night ! to-night ! my gentle one,

The flower-bearing Amra tree
Doth long, with fragrant moan, to meet

The love-lip of the honey-bee.

LIPOGRAMS. 61

But not the Amra tree can long
To greet the bee, at evening light,

With half the deep, fond love I long
To meet my Nama here to-night

Then come, love, come.

Akin to this lipogrammatic trifling was the
fashion of making all the lines of a piece of poetry
begin or end with the same letter. Under Allite-
ration reference has already been made to the
set of sonnets written by Lord North, each of
which began with a successive letter of the alpha-
bet. Of the kind which makes each line end with
the same letter is " The Moral Proverbs of Christine
of Pisa," one of our earliest printed English works,
having been translated into English by Earl Rivers,
brother of the Lady Grey who married Edward IV.
This work must have been one of considerable
labour, but as these literary eccentricities were
looked upon with much favour in those times, no
doubt the noble author had his reward. The poem
concludes with :

" Of these sayings Christine was the authoresse,
Which in making had such intelligence
That thereof she was mirrour and mistresse ;
Her works testifie the experience.
In French language was written this sentence ;
And thus Englished, does it rehearse
Antoin Woodvylle, Eai\ of TLy*ere&"

62 LIPOGRAMS.

This curious work was printed in Westminster
Abbey about 1477 by William Caxton, who added
the following lines to the book :

" Go now, thou little quire, and recommend me
Unto the special grace of my good lorde,
Th' Earl Ryvers, for I have imprinted thee,
At his commandment, following every worde
His copy, as his secretary can recorde,
At Westminster of Februarie the XX daye,
And of Kyng Edwarde the XVII yere vraye."

It will be seen that neither the noble Earl nor
his printer felt themselves in any way trammelled
or hindered by the ordinary rules of spelling, and
added the vowel when it suited them.

There is little difficulty in finding specimens
amongst our early poets of this peculiarity. Open-
ing the " Faerie Queen " at random, we find the
following stanza in Canto iv. :

" Her life was nigh unto death's dore yplaste ;
And thredbare cote, and cobled shoes, hee ware ;
Ne scarse good morsell all his life did taste ;
But both backe and belly still did spare,
To fill his bags, and richesse to compare :
Yet childe ne kinsman living had he none
To leave them to ; but thorough daily care
To get, and nightly feare to lose his owne,
He led a wretched life, unto himself unknowne."

Again, in the works of Gascoigne (died 1578),

L1P0GRAMS. 6$

who is said by Warton to be the author of the first
comedy written in English prose, the " Comedie of
Supposes," from which, it is said by another literary
historian, Shakespeare borrowed part of the plot
and of the phraseology for his "Taming of the
Shrew," we learn that " Alexander Neuile deliured
him this theame, Sat cito si sat bene, wherevpon hee
compiled these seuen Sonets in sequence," of which
we give Sonnets iv. and v. :

" To prinke me vp and make me higher plaste,
All came to late that taryed any time,
Pilles of prouision pleased not my taste,
They made my heeles to heauie for to climbe :
Mee thought it best that boughes of boystrous oake,
Should first be shreade to make my feathers gaye.
Tyll at the last a deadly dynting stroke,
Brought downe the bulke with edgetooles of decaye :
Of every farme I then let flye a lease,
To feede the purse that payde for peeuishnesse,
Till rente and all were falne in such disease,
As scarse coulde serue to mayntayne cleanlynesse :
They bought, the bodie, fine, ferme, lease, and lande,
All were to little for the merchauntes haunde.

All were to little for the merchauntes haunde,
And yet my brauerye bigger than his booke :
But when this hotte accompte was coldly scande,
I thought highe time about me for to looke :
With heauie cheare I caste my heade abacke,
To see the fountaine of my furious racfe.

64 LIPOGRAMS.

Comparde my loss, my liuing, and my lacke,

In equall balance with my iolye grace.

And sawe expences grating on the grounde

Like lumps of lead to presse my purse full ofte,

When light rewarde and recompence were founde,

Fleeting like feathers in the winde alofte :

These thus comparde, I left the Courte at large,

For why ? the gaines doth seldome quitte the charge."

Churchyard literature furnishes another specimen
of this species of versification, as found on a tomb-
stone at Hadleigh in Suffolk :

" The charnel mounted on the wall
Lets to be seen in funeral
A matron plain domesticall,
In pain and care continual.
Not slow, nor gay, nor prodigal,
Yet neighbourly and hospital.
Her children yet living all,
Her sixty-seventh year home did call
To rest her body natural
In hope to rise spiritual."

Another fashion allied to this is the resolute
adoption of only one vowel throughout — univocalic
trifling. This, however, is a very difficult matter,
for the English language does not lend itself readily
to univocalics, and few examples are to be had.
Perhaps the following is among the best, in which
the vowel e is the only one used :

LIPOGRAMS. 65

" Persevere, ye perfect men,
Ever keep the precepts ten."

An ingenious writer in "Notes and Queries"
some years ago made an attempt at a series of
verses, each of which contained only one vowel.
The following was the result :

The Russo-Turkish War.

War harms all ranks, all arts, all crafts appal ;
At Mars' harsh blast, arch, rampart, altar fall !
Ah ! hard as adamant a braggart Czar
Arms vassal-swarms, and fans a fatal war !
Rampant at that bad call, a Vandal band
Harass, and harm, and ransack Wallach-land.
A Tartar phalanx Balkan's scarp hath past,
And Allah's standard falls, alas ! at last.

The Fall of Eve.

Eve, Eden's empress, needs defended be ;
The Serpent greets her when she seeks the tree.
Serene she sees the speckled tempter creep ;
Gentle he seems — perverted schemer deep —
Yet endless pretexts, ever fresh, prefers,
Perverts her senses, revels when she errs,
Sneers when she weeps, regrets, repents she fell,
Then, deep-revenged, reseeks the nether Hell !

The Approach of Evening.

Idling I sit in this mild twilight dim,

Whilst birds, in wild swift vi&ils, tvtcXvcv^ ^xsv.

66 LIPOGRAMS.

Light wings in sighing sink, till, rising bright,
Night's Virgin Pilgrim swims in vivid light.

Incontrovertible Facts.

No monk too good to rob, or cog, or plot,
No fool so gross to bolt Scotch collops hot.
From Donjon tops no Oronooko rolls.
Logwood, not lotos, floods Oporto's bowls.
Troops of old tosspots oft to sot consort.
Box tops our schoolboys, too, do flog for sport.
No cool monsoons blow oft on Oxford dons,
Orthodox, jog-trot, book- worm Solomons !
Bold Ostrogoths of ghosts no horror show.
On London shop-fronts no hop-blossoms grow.
To crocks of gold no Dodo looks for food.
On soft cloth footstools no old fox doth brood.
Long storm-tost sloops forlorn do work to port.
Rooks do not roost on spoons, nor woodcocks snort.
Nor dog on snowdrop or on coltsfoot rolls,
Nor common frog concocts long protocols.

The same subject continued.

Dull humdrum murmurs lull, but hubbub stuns.

Lucullus snuffs up musk, mundungus shuns.

Puss purs, buds burst, bucks butt, luck turns up

trumps ;
But full cups, hurtful, spur up unjust thumps.

This playing upon vowels is in a manner ri-
valled by the following ingenious verses, in which
a single word is held to throughout. They were
written by Allain Chartier, a French poet of the

LIPOGRAMS. 67

sixteenth century, and are descriptive of a rope-
maker :

" Quand un cordier cordant

Veut corder une corde,
Trois cordons accordant
A sa corde il accorde.

Si Tun des trois cordons
De la corde d^corde,
Le cordon decordant
Fait ddcorder la corde."

Dr. Wallis put these lines into English, and, by
adding two or three relative words, gave four
additional lines :

" When a twiner a twisting will twist him a twist,
For the twining his twist he three twines doth entwist ;
But if one of the twines of the twist do untwist,
The twine that untwisteth, untwisteth the twist

Untwirling the twine that untwisteth between,
He twists with his twister the two in a twine ;
Then twice having twisted the twines of the twine,
He twisteth the twines he had twisted in vain.

The twain that, in twisting before in the twine,
As twines were entwisted, he now doth untwine,
'Twixt the twain intertwisting a twine more between,
He, twisting his twister, makes a twist of the twine."

Cuthbert Bolton (1603) in a similar manner thus
plays upon one word in one o{ h\s ^ootv5»\

68 LIPOGRAMS.

" Fortune is sweet, Fortune is sour,
Fortune will laugh, Fortune will lower ;
The fading fruit of Fortune's flower
Doth ripe and rot, both in an hour.
Fortune can give, Fortune can take,
Fortune can mar, Fortune can make ;
When others sleep, poor I do wake,
And all for unkind Fortune's sake.
Fortune sets up, Fortune pulls down,
Fortune soon loves, but hates as soon.
Fortune, less constant than the moon,
She'll give a groat and take a crown."

»

( 69 )

BOUTS RIMAS.

OUTS RIM£S, or rhyming termina-
tions, are verses of a light and trifling
character, and, as their name shows, are of
French origin, amongst which people for a genera-
tion they were great favourites, and that at a time
when wit and learning greatly flourished. They
are words which rhyme to one another, and being
given as a playful task for the purpose of amuse-
ment at an evening-party, are generally composed
into verse in an offhand manner — the verse being
a kind of doggerel, catching up the rhyming words
in the order given. The more uncommon the
rhyming words, the more the amusement derived
and the ingenuity displayed. Suppose the words
to be— grant, ask, shan't, task, one of the party
would produce :

" If from good-nature you begin to grant
Whatever favours folk may please to ask,
'Twill grow more difficult to say I shan't,
And courtesy will be a ^wear^ x&d&T

70 BOUTS RIM&S.

While another would give —

" Sweet one, I pant for what you can grant.
What is it ? dost thou ask.
'Tis a kiss that I want ; so don't say I shan't,
When assent is an easier task."

The first who brought Bouts Rim£s into any-
thing like notoriety was one Dulot, a French poet-
aster, who had a custom of preparing lists of rhym-
ing words in this fashion, to be filled up with lines
at leisure. On one occasion, having been robbed
of his papers, Dulot was heard regretting the loss
of several hundred sonnets; this loss somewhat
astonished his friends, who were condoling with
him on his misfortune, when he said, " They were
blank sonnets," and explained the mystery by
describing his Bouts Rimds. This curious habit
of Dulot's appeared so entertaining to his friends,
that not long after it became quite a fashionable
amusement, and a favourite task of French ladies
to their lovers.

Much entertainment must evidently attend such
an intellectual competition, where a company is
gathered together capable in any degree of carry-
ing it out, and some sharpening of the wits must
be the consequence. On one such occasion the
words given were brook, why, crook, I, and the

BOUTS RIMES. 71

following was the result, given by Horace Walpole,
who was present :

" I sit with my toes in a brook ;
If any one asks me for why, —
I hits' them a rap with my crook ;
'Tis sentiment kills me, says I."

But to better show the difference in composition
which may result and the amusement to be derived
from Bouts Rim^s, take the following lines written
against the words wave, lie, brave, die:

" Dark are the secrets of the gulfing wave,

Where, wrapped in death, so many heroes lie ;
Yet glorious death's the guerdon of the brave,
And those who bravely live can bravely die."

" Whenever I sail on the wave,

Overcome with sea-sickness I lie !
I can sing of the sea, and look brave,
When I feel it, I feel like to die ! "

" High o'er the ship came on the 'whelming wave —
One crash ! and on her beam I saw her lie !
Shrieked high the craven, silent stood the brave,
But hope from all had fled, — 'twas only left to die."

Soon after the introduction of Bouts Rim<£s
into France they became fashionable in England
also. Sir John and Lady Miller of Batheaston
when on a tour in Italy procured an antique vase
at Frascati, and this vase tYiey \>tou^i\\. Yiot&fe *»&>

72 BOUTS RIM&S.

placed in their villa, which they on occasion turned
into a temple of Apollo, Lady Miller being the
high- priestess and the vase the shrine of the deity.
General invitations were sent to all the fashion of
Bath every Thursday. One week a series of Bouts
Rim£s were given out, to be filled up and returned
on the next day of meeting. As the company
arrived they were ushered into a room where they
found the old vase decorated with laurel, and as
each lady or gentleman passed they deposited
within it their version of the Rim£s given out the
preceding Thursday. Having thus all contributed
their offering to Apollo, a lady was selected to
draw them out one by one and hand them to a
gentleman to read aloud. After this a committee
was appointed to award the prizes to the four best
productions, whose authors were presented by the
high -priestess with a fillet of myrtle, and crowned
amidst the plaudits of the company. Only one of
the prize-verses on these occasions, written by the
then Duchess of Northumberland, has been pre-
served, and it is given as a sample of the literary
spirit which pervaded the upper classes towards
the end of last century. The words given were
brandish, standish, fatten, satin, olio, folio, puffing,
■k txt/ffin, /east on, Batkeaston.

BOUTS RIM&S. 73

" The pen which I now take and brandish,
Has long lain useless in my standish.
Know every maid, from her in patten
To her who shines in glossy satin,
That could they now prepare an olio,
From best receipt of book in folio,
Ever so fine, for all their puffing,
I should prefer a buttered muffin :
A muffin Jove himself might feast on,
If eat with Miller at Batheaston."

In the " Correspondence of Mrs. Delany r " the
editor, Lady Llanover, refers to this amusement,
and gives a specimen written by Mrs. Delany in
reply to words which had been sent her — these
being, bless, less, find, mind, grove, love.

" When friendship such as yours our hours bless,
It soothes our cares, and makes affliction less ;
Oppressed by woes, from you I'm sure to find
A sovereign cure for my distempered mind ;
At court or play, in field or shady grove,
No place can yield delight without your love."

Not content with this, however, Mrs. Delany gave
a second verse on the same words :

" When me with your commands you bless,
My time is yours, nor can I offer less ;
There so much truth and love I find,
That with content it fills my mind ;
Happy to live in unfrequented grove,
Assured of faithful Nanny s \on^"

74 BOUTS RIM&S.

The following words were given out one evening
at an entertainment :

Darky around, hark, sound, shrill, still,
Where, strife, drear, life, bright, night —

which produced the subjoined verses :

" 'Tis Night — the mourning vest of Nature — dark
And gloomy is the starless sky ; around
A melancholy stillness reigns ; but hark !
'Tis^ but the hooting owL A sound
Again breaks on the silence ; 'tis a shrill
Cry from some churchyard — all again is still.

Where now the grandeur of creation ? Where

The crowds that mingle in the busy strife ?

All's now a dismal chaos, lone and drear,

Rayless and black. And thus it is with life —

Awhile the scene is beautiful and bright ;

Then comes one deep, and dark, and cheerless night."

On another occasion the words prove, why, love,
calamity, gave birth to these :

" Of Baxter I cannot ap-prove,

And the reason is obvious why ;
For the Church he'd nor favour nor love
So him I'd with Calamy-tie."

" In life we mingled joys and sorrows prove,
Confused, and none can give a reason why ;
Hate quickly treads upon the heels of love,
And morning's bliss quells night's calamity."

BOUTS R1M&S. 75

The words doth, river, both, deliver, produced
the next couple :

"The Brahmin of the East, who doth
Wash in the Ganges river,
Thinks he doth soul and body both
From future pains deliver."

" Oh wretched is the man that doth
Fall in a rocky river ;
For why ? he's drowned and murdered both —
No aid can him deliver."

Other tasks produced the annexed verses :

" Few things appear more sad
Than to see an old man weep ;
And few make the mind more glad
Than a crying child asleep ! "

" What is life ?
What is death ?
Continued strife —
The want of breath ! "

So prevalent did this amusement eventually
become, that societies were formed to follow it
up, and we extract here an account of a meeting
of one of these which appeared in the columns of
the Edinburgh Evening Courant in September
1815—

%

76 BOUTS R1M&S.

"Anstruther Musomanik Society.

" On Friday last, the 29th September, was celebrated
in the Hall of Apollo the second anniversary of the
institution of the Musomanik Society of Anstruther.
The votaries of that jolly and rejoicing deity rushed in
to catch a glimpse of his golden countenance, and to
partake, not only of those good things which the in-
fluence of his inspiration had generated in heads and in
brains, but of those better things which the influence of
his beams had produced in valleys and on hills. Every
blast blew in a bard ; every bard brought with him joy
and good-humour. Their hall was profusely decorated
with all the ornaments suitable to the occasion ; its walls
were hung round as usual with prints of all the celebrated
poets, adorned with sprigs of laureL Scott seemed to
look down from his elevation near the roof with com-
placency; Lord Byron appeared to lower, no longer a
misanthrope, on the merriment ; and the manly eye of
Burns seemed to kindle on the wall, and start into the
scene, with its fiery and commanding flash. So richly
were the roof and sides covered with flower and foliage,
that the chamber was like one of those shady recesses
of Tempe, into which the Muses were wont to retire to
converse with Cupid and the Graces ; nor were forgotten
the accustomed symbols and emblematic dishes, ex-
pressive of the number, the poverty, the vanity, the
irritability, the frivolity, and light-headedness of poets.
The cod-roe which last year so finely typified the
' numbers without number ' of the irritable genus, was
somehow strangely forgotten ; but its place was supplied
by a plateful of mushrooms, to denote the sudden

BOUTS RIM&S. 77

appearance and rapid and total evanishment of our
fungous, short-lived tribe. On the centre of the table a
Parnassus of paste heaved up its baken mass, on whose
top stood the god of the festival, holding in his hand
the scroll of sanction, and shining in all his pride of
pastry and glory of leaf-gold. The sides of the mountain
appeared so horribly steep, rugged, and perpendicular,
that not even a hobbler of paste could establish his feet
upon them. Its base seemed to be strewed over with
the broken limbs of pastry bards, that had rolled down
in ruin from the insuperable ascent ; an evil omen for
the brethren, and which might have excited in their
breasts thoughts of dire foreboding, had not their natural
unconquerable propensity to laughter been of use to
them in converting the melancholic into the mirthful.
But it would be tedious to relate all the pomp and
preparation, and solemnity and jocundity of the festival ;
all the toasts, songs, and jokes that enlivened and pro-
longed the entertainment. Suffice it to say, that good-
humour was never more conspicuous than in the hearts
and faces of the brethren; that innocent and self-
delighted vanity, that mighty mother of all poems and
all books, was never more harmlessly gratified; and
that the sour and hemlock visage of contumelious
criticism herself would have gladly sweetened into joy,
and shared, if not abetted, the festivity of the evening."

These Fifeshire associated rhymesters ventured
to publish a thin volume entitled " Bouts Rim£s ;
or, Poetical Pastimes of a few Hobblers round the
base of Parnassus," dedicated to tt\& Vww c>\

78 BOUTS RIMES.

Rhyme, Fun, and Good-Fellowship throughout the
British Empire. We give a few specimens from
that book, and our readers will bear in mind that
at every meeting of the Club, rhymes were given
to each member which he was required to fill up
at once. One evening the words given were — -petty
scuffle, men, ruffle, and in a short time a number of
verses were returned, of which three are here

given :

" One would suppose a silly pen
A shabby weapon in a scuffle ;
But yet the pen of critic men
A very hero's soul would ruffle. "

" I grant that some by tongue or pen
Are daily, hourly in a scuffle ;
But then we philosophic men
Have placid tempers naught can ruffle."

" Last night I left my desk and pen,
For in the street I heard a scuffle,
And there, torn off by drunken men,
I left my coat-tails and shirt-ruffle."

Again, the following rhymes were given — bubble,
jig, stubble, zvkirligig, which were thus answered :

" My heated brain begins to bubble,
With joy I dance the airy jig ;
My hair lies flat, once stiff as stubble,
While round I fly — a whirligig ! "

BOUTES RIM&S. 79

" What is this life ? a smoke, a bubble,
In this gay world, a foolish jig,
A joyless field of barren stubble,
And what is man? — a whirligig."

For the annual meeting of the Society, however,
a somewhat different method was observed.
About eight days previous the president gave
out rhymes for an ode or poem of the length of
twenty or thirty lines, leaving each rhymester to
choose his own subject ; and at the festival, when
from fifteen to twenty pieces were read after dinner,
each piece closing with the same rhymes, it was
amusing to note the different subjects, styles, and
ideas chosen by the writers, and the productions
afforded no small amount of pleasantry to the
Society. A few specimens are here given :

The Golden Age.

Aid me, O Muse ! to laud in rhyme
The golden and primeval time,

Old Saturn's happy day,
When Virtue over every clime
Danced with young Pleasure in her prime,
And chased, with joyful shoutings, crime

And sorrow far away.

Then free and happy, sinless man
Exulting o'er earth's valleys ran,

Whilst in the starry £tocc&

80 BOUTS RIM&S.

His meditative eye began
The finger of his God to scan,
As, musing on the Almighty's plan,

He felt devotion's flame.

It seemed as if his sacred train

Of thoughts, pure issue of the brain,

To Virtue's lyre did chime ;
It seemed as if, in lieu of rain,
The skies dropped honey on each plain,
Whilst grateful earth sent up again

Hymns holy and sublime.

Address to One of the Brethren.

Dear Fowler, plague upon all rhyme !
'Tis nothing but a waste of time,

And life's an April day,
In this our peevish, plashy clime.
Then let's improve our manhood's prime,
No more commit the poet's crime,

But throw the pen away.

Thus said I — poor deluded man !
To court staid Prudence off I ran,

And all at once to frame
My ways with wisdom I began,
Looked round with interested scan ;
But lo ! the Muses marred the plan,

Apollo fed the flame.

Then, Phoebus, come with all thy train,
And ope the portals of my brain,

Give thoughts for every chime ;

BOUTS RIM&S. Si

And as the clouds' soft dropping rain
Cheers and revives the sterile plain,
Fecundate this dull head again

To reach the true sublime.

The Last Day.

How dread, methinks, how awfully sublime,
When the last trump shall stop the march of time !
What shall avail on that tremendous day
The hero's laurel or the poet's bay ?
Methinks I see the rosy-fingered dawn ;
Shed her last ray o'er every hill and lawn ;
Never to rise hath sunk the fulgent moon ;
The sun may rise, but never reach his noon.
From earth — from heaven, with ripened force entire,
Bursts the wild sweep of all-devouring fire ;
From heaven's high arch to the infernal lake,
Shall all creation to her centre shake ;
Its fearful flight the trembling soul shall wing,
And to its God each vice and virtue bring.
Oh, may there then on earth be found but few
Not well prepared to bid the world adieu.

Morning on Arthur's Seat.

On Arthur's lofty top sublime,
Seamed by the iron hand of Time,
I sit, and view the coming day,
Smiling from Portobello Bay.
On Abercorn the ruddy dawn
Tinges each tower, and tree, and lawn ;
On high the waning pale-faced moon
Is lost ere she attains hex tvootv.

82 BOUTS RIMAS.

But see, with radiant orb entire,
Beaming, appears the god of fire !
O'er Duddingstone's enchanting lake,
While scarce a leaf the breeze doth shake;
The wild duck skirrs on rattling wing,
Condolence to its mate to bring.
Few are thy charms, Edina ! oh, how few !
With scenes like these content, I'd bid thee long
adieu !

Johnnie Dowie's.*

Though far from low, yet not sublime,

Here we pass our joyous time ;

Excluded from the light of day,

Here sit the children of the bay.

What care we for the orient dawn ?

What care we for the dewy lawn ?

What care we for the pale-faced moon ?

What care we for the sun at noon ?

Here sparkling foams Bell's best " entire ; "

Here blazing burns John Dowie's fire.

What care we for the breezy lake ?

What care we though the mountain shake ?

Fancy, begone on eagle wing ;

Come, Meg, another bottle bring.

Come, bring us bottles not a few ;

A dozen yet well drink ere bidding John adieu !

#

An old-fashioned tavern, situated in a dark alley in Edinburgh ;
only one room had a window, all the rest being lighted during the
day by candles. It was a favourite haunt of Burns. Some years
ago the march of city improvement swept this Bacchanalian temple
away, and a roadway now passes over its site.

BOUTS RIM&S. S3

Love.

O Love, 'twas thou that didst first insp-ire,
And bade my numbers softly roll,

Set all this youthful heart on fire,
Arid tuned to harmony my soul.

When Catherine did her charms dis-play,
(The Loves and Graces in her train),

Could I unconsious turn away,
Nor feel love's poignant pleasing pain ?

Her charms unlocked a precious store
The hard of heart can never find :

Earth seemed a sweet enchanted shore,
Such pleasing dreams possessed my mind.

Soft were my strains — Love bade them flow,
While Hymen's torch began to burn ;

No note e'er breathed the wail of woe,
For "sweet's the love that meets re-turn."

O woman ! Nature's fairest flower,
Sweeter than rosebuds in the spring,

May Care ne'er cloud thy passing hour,
Nor pluck the down from Pleasure's wing.

When called to blissful scenes above,
Where joys in endless prospect rise,

May virtue, innocence, and love,
Attend thee to thy native sVies.

84 BOUTS RIM&S.

Address to the Society.

Dear Junta of Bards, whom I love and adm-ire,
Whose hearts are so true, and whose heads are so d-roll,

Now awake ye your glory, and, free in your fire,
To-day let us skim off the cream of the soul.

To-day, 'tis the season of jest and of play,

When Phoebus, with grace and with mirth in his train,
Hops down from Olympus to whistle away

All mists from our heads — from our bosoms all pain.

He comes — and his quiver is rattling with store
Of arrows that burn to fly forth uncon-fin'd ;

He comes — and the towns that engirdle our shore
Gleam forth and rejoice in the splendour of mind.

He hath shot at my heart, and my blood in its flow
Bounds brisk with ideas that blaze and that burn ;

Away, empty world ! with thy wealth and thy woe,
And ne'er to disturb my dear dreamings re-turn.

I dream that I walk among odour and flower,

In the gardens of song where our amaranths spring,

Where the leaves of the trees whisper verse, and each hour
Waves the fragrance of joy from his fanciful wing.

Now in vision I mount with the Muses above,
Heaven's turrets shine brighter in gold as I rise,

While safe in the passport of song, wit, and love,
I walk amid angels and skim through the skies.

We conclude this notice of Bouts Rimis with
an anecdote of a young American poet named

BOUTS R1M&S. 85

Bogart, who had an extraordinary facility for com-
posing impromptu verses, so much so, that he was
believed by some persons to prepare them before-
hand. To test this, on one occasion at a literary
party in New York, it was proposed to write down
the letters forming the name of a beautiful lady
called Lydia Kane, and as the letters afforded as
many lines as a stanza in " Childe Harold," that
book was to be opened at random, and the con-
cluding words of the stanza were to form the
Bouts Rim6s of an acrostic of Lydia Kane. To
this singular proposition Bogart at once assented,
saying that he should perform his task in ten
minutes. The stanza in " Childe Harold " chanced
to be the following :

" And must they fall ? the young, the proud, the brave,

To swell one bloated chiefs unwholesome reign ?

No step between submission and a grave ?

The rise of rapine and the fall of Spain ?

And doth the Power that man adores ordain

Their doom, nor heed the suppliant's appeal ?

Is all that desperate valour acts in vain ?

And counsel sage, and patriotic zeal,
The veteran's skill, youth's fire, and manhood's heart of
steel?"

Bogart cleverly performed his task by producing
the following verse within the stated \.vk\s.\

S6 BOUTS RIM&S.

u

Zovely and loved, o'er the unconquered brave
Four charms resistless, matchless girl, shall reign,
/tear as the mother holds her infant's grave,
In Love's warm regions, warm, romantic Spain.
-4nd should your fate to courts your steps ordain,
A'ings would in vain to regal pomp appeal,
u4nd lordly bishops kneel to you in vain,
A 7 ot Valour's fire, Love's power, nor Churchman's zeal
Endure 'gainst Love's {time's uf) untarnished steeL"

( 87 )

MACARONICS.

F all the curious kinds of literary compo-
sition, the most difficult and the most
humorous is that termed Macaronic, in
which, along with Latin, words of other languages
are introduced with Latin inflections, although the
name has also been applied to verses which are
merely a mixture of Latin and English, and it is
thought that the idea of poetry of this nature was
first suggested by the barbarous Monkish Latin.
Teofilo Folengo, a learned and witty Benedictine,
who was born at Mantua in 1484 and died in 1544,
has been supposed by some to be the inventor of
this style of verse ; other authorities, however,
contend that he was only the first to apply the
name, which he is said to have selected with
reference to the mixture of ingredients in the
dish called Macaroni. Octavius Gilchrist, in men-
tioning Teofilo Folengo of Mantua as the sup-
posed inventor, says, in his " Opus Ma.c.^oTCvc.xace^

►

SS MACARONICS.

(first printed in 1517), "He was preceded by the
laureate Skelton, whose works were printed in 15 12,
who was himself anticipated by the great genius
of Scotland, Dunbar, in his ' Testament of Andro
Kennedy/ * and the last must be considered as
the reviver or introducer of macaronic or burlesque
poetry." Folengo, under the name of Merlinus
Cocaius, published a long satiric poem called
4< Libriculum ludicrum et curiosum, partim latino,
partim italiano sermone compositum." Since
then he has had many imitators, but the art
cannot be said to have been extensively culti-
vated, although specimens are to be found in
almost all European languages. In 1829, Genthe
(Halle) gave to the literary world of Germany
an excellent history of macaronic poetry, together
with a collection of the principal works of this
nature. In this country he has been followed by
Mr. Sandys, who published in 183 1 an interesting
work entitled " Specimens of Macaronic Poetry ; " t
but the most agreeable and amusing book of this

* First printed in 1508.

t This little work contains only three or four macaronic poems,
all of old date, and none of them of a very presentable nature.
There are, however, some other literary curiosities in it which are
worthy of attention, such as the " Pugna Porcorum," Hugbald's
"Ecloga,"&c.

MACARONICS. 89

class is one published by M. Octave Delepierre
(Paris, 1852).

Dunbar's " Testament of Andro Kennedy," re-
puted to be one of the oldest and best, is written
in Latin and Old Scottish, and of this the following
are the concluding lines :

" I will na priestis for me sing,
Dies ilia, Dies irae ;
Na yet na bellis for me ring,
Sicut semper solet fieri ;

But a bagpipe to play a spring,

Et unum ailwisp ante me ;
Instead of banners for to bring

Quatuor lagenas servisiae :

Within the grave to set sic thing,

In modum crucis juxta me.
To flee the fiends, then hardily * sing

De terra plasmati me."

Lord Hailes remarks of the "Testament:"
"This is a singular performance; it represents
the character of a graceless, drunken scholar.
The alternate lines are composed of shreds of
the Breviary, mixed with what we call Dog Latin^
and the French Latin de Cuisine?

Another of the early specimens of macaronic
poetry was written by Drummond of Hawthorn-

* With confidence*

9Q MACARONICS.

den (1585-1649), and is entitled " Polema Mid-
dina," which, though it might then be considered a
piece of exquisite drollery by the author's country-
men, is almost wholly unintelligible to modern
Latinists. Drummond, though his scene and
subject be somewhat disagreeable, and hardly
reproducible nowadays, yet shows in his poem
a certain degree of dignity. Of Drummond's
poem, another macaronic, " The Buggiados," pub-
lished in 1788, is a manifest imitation, and in this
latter, authors of the day are represented under
the ludicrous imagery of bugs, fleas, and other
pestilent "walkers in darkness." They are en-
gaged in a general battle — the commanders-in-
chief being, for the one side, the Rev. Dr.
Priestley; and, on the other, Mr. Coleman of
the Haymarket Theatre. Various heroes traverse
the field, whom the poet characterises with bold
if not discriminating touches —

"Geometrical Hutton,
Atque heavy-brain'd Gillies, and the reverend Arthur

O'Leary,
Tragicomic Jephson, et weak Dicky Cumberlandus ;
Atque alter sapiens blockhead, the deep Jemie Beattie,
Et Johnny Duncanus, than whom a stupider unquam
Nullibi crawlavit Loussus, with thick Willy Thompson,
Et silly Joe Watson, regis qui ticklitat aures."

MACARONICS. 91

Heroines, too, are engaged in this war — Mes-
dames Inchbald, Cowley, Seward, and More
appear, with a ferocity disgraceful to their sex,
using poisoned weapons and the language of
Billingsgate ; and the extraordinary contest con-
cludes in a curious manner, for Sir John Hawkins,
with the five ponderous volumes of his " History
of Music," overwhelmes and smashes the whole
of the combatants into nothingness.

One of the best of these older macaronics is the
following diploma, written by William Meston,
M.A., Professor of Philosophy in Marischal Col-
lege, Aberdeen, about the beginning of last cen-
tury, whose works are now rarely to be seen :

VIRI HUMANI, SALSI ET FACETI,

GULIELMI SUTHERLANDI,

MULTARUM ARTIUM ET SCIENTIARUM DOCTORIS DOCTISSIMI.

DIPLOMA.

Ubique gentium et terrarum,

From Sutherland to Padanarum,

From those who have six months of day,

Ad Caput usque Bonae Spei,

And farther yet, si forte tendat

Ne ignorantiam quis praetendat, —

We doctors of the Merry Meeting,

To all and sundry do send greeting,

Ut omnes habeant compertum,

Per hanc praesentem Tvostaaxs\ O&axXaxe^

92 MACARONICS.

Gulielmum Sutherlandum Scotum

At home per tiomen Bogsie notum,

Who studied stoutly at our College,

And gave good specimens of knowledge

In multis artibus versatum,

Nunc factum esse doctoratum.

Quoth Preses, Strictum post examen,

Nunc esto Doctor ; we said, Amen.

So to you all hunc commendamus,

Ut juvenem quern nos amamus,

Qui multas habet qualitates,

To please all humours and aetates.

He vies, if sober, with Duns Scotus,

Sed multo magis si sit potus.

In disputando just as keen as

Calvin, John Knox, or Tom Aquinas.

In every question of theology,

Versatus multum in trickology ;

Et in catalogis librorum

Fraser could never stand before him ;

For he, by page and leaf, can quote

More books than Solomon ere wrote.

A lover of the mathematics

He is, but hates the hydrostatics,

Because he thinks it a cold study

To deal in water, clear or muddy.

Doctissimus est medicinae,

Almost as Boerhaave or Bellini

He thinks the diet of Cornaro

In meat and drink too scrimp and narrow,

And that the rules of Leonard Lessius

Are good for nothing but to stress us.

MACARONICS. 93

By solid arguments and keen

He has confuted Doctor Cheyne,

And clearly proved by demonstration

That claret is a good collation,

Sanis et segris, always better

Than coffee, tea, or milk and water ;

That cheerful company, cum risu,

Cum vino forti, suavi visu,

Gustatu dulci, still has been

A cure for hyppo and the spleen ;

That hen and capon, vervecina,

Beef, duck and pasties, cum ferinl

Are good stomachics, and the best

Of cordials, probatum est.
• • • • •

A good French nightcap still has been,

He says, a proper anodyne,

Better than laudanum or poppy,

Ut dormiamus like a toppy.

Affirmat lusum alearum,

Medicamentum esse clarum,

Or else a touch at three-hand ombre

When toil or care our spirits cumber,

Which graft wings on our hours of leisure,

And make them fly with ease and pleasure.

Aucupium et venationem,

Post longam nimis potationem,

He has discovered to be good

Both for the stomach and the blood.

.....

He clearly proves the cause of death
Is nothing but the Yiaxvt otVsreaS&A

94 MACARONICS.

And that indeed is a disaster
When 'tis occasioned by a plaster
Of hemp and pitch, laid closely on

Somewhat above the collar-bone.

• • • • •

To this, and ten times more his skill
Extends, when he could cure or kill
Immensam cognitionem legum
Ne prorsus hie silentio tegam,
Cum sociis artis, grease his fist
Torquebat illas as you list
If laws for bribes are made, 'tis plain,
They may be bought and sold again ;
Spectando aurum, now we find
That Madam Justice is stone-blind,
So deaf and dull in both her ears,
The clink of gold she only hears ;
Nought else but a loud party shout
Will make her start or look about.
His other talents to rehearse,
Brevissime in prose or verse,
To tell how gracefully he dances,
And artfully contrives romances ;
How well he arches, and shoots flying
(Let no man think that we mean lying),
How well he fences, rides, and sings,
And does ten thousand other things ;
Allow a line, nay, but a comma,
To each, turgeret hoc diploma ;
Quare ; ut tandem concludamus,
Qui brevitatem approbamus

MACARONICS. 95

(For brevity is always good,

Providing we be understood).

In rerum omnium naturis,

Non minus quam scientia juris

Et medicinae, Doctoratum

Bogsaeum novimus versatum ;

Nor shall we here say more about him,

But you may dacker if you doubt him.

Addamus tamen hoc tantillum,

Duntaxat nostrum hoc sigillum,

Huic testimonio appensum,

Ad confirmandum ejus sensum,*

Junctis chirographis cunctorum,

Blyth, honest, hearty sociorum.

Dabamus at a large punch-bowl

Within our proper common school,

The twenty-sixth day of November,

Ten years, the date we may remember,

After the race of Sheriffmuir

(Scotsmen will count from a black hour),

Ab omni probo nunc signetur,

Qui denegabit extrudetur.

FORMULA GRADUS DANDI.

Eadem nos auctoritate,

Reges memoriae beatae,

Pontifices et papae laeti,

Nam alii sunt a nobis spreti,

Quam quondam nobis indulserunt,

Quae privilegia semper erunt,

Collegio nostro safe and sound,

As long's the earth and cu\» %<a \crcxA.

I

96 MACARONICS.

Te Bogsseum hie creamus,
Statuimus et proclamamus,
Artium Magistrum et Doctorem,
Si libet etiam Professorem ;
Tibique damus potestatem
Potandi ad hilaritatem,
Ludendi porro et jocandi,
Et moestos vino medicandi,
Ad risum etiam fabulandi ;
In promissionis tuae signum
Caput, honore tanto dignum
Hoc cyatho condecoramus,*
Ut tibi felix sit oramus ;
Praeterea in manum damus
Hunc calicem, ex quo potamus,
Spumantem generoso vino,
Ut bibas more Palatino.
Sir, pull it off and on your thumb
Cernamus supernaculum,
Ut specimen ingenii
Post studia decenniL
( While he is drinking, the chorus sings)
En calicem spumantem.
Falerni epotantem ;
En calicem spumantem,
Io, io, io.
(After he has drunk, and turned the glass on his thumbs
they embrace him, and sing again.)

Laudamus hunc Doctorem,

Et fidum compotorem ;

Laudamus hunc Doctorem,
Io, io, io.

* Here he was crowned with the ^xM&tawA..

MACARONICS. 97

One of the best modern specimens of macaronic
poetry is attributed to Professor Porson, and is
said to have owed its origin to the alarm of the
French invasion :

Lingo Drawn for the Militia.

Ego nunquam audivi such terrible news,
At this present tempus my sensus confuse ;
I am drawn for a miles — I must go cum marte,
And, concinnus esse, engage Bonaparte!

Such tempora nunquam videbant majores,
For then their opponents had different mores ;
But we will soon prove to the Corsican vaunter,
Though times may be changed — Britons never mu-
tantur !

Mehercle ! this Consul non potest be quiet,
His word must be lex, and when he says fiat,
Quasi Deus, he thinks we must run at his nod,
But Britons were ne'er good at running, by God !

Per mare, I rather am led to opine,
To meet British naves he would not incline ;
Lest he should in mare profundum be drowned,
Et cum algi, non lauro, his caput be crowned.

But allow that this boaster in Britain should land,

Multis cum aliis at his command :

Here are lads who will meet, ay, and properly work

'em,
And speedily send 'em, ni fallow iw CVksmsu

JW

98 MACARONICS.

Nunc let us, amici, join corda et manus,
And use well the vires Di Boni afford us :
Then let nations combine, Britain never can fall,
She's — multum in parvo — a match for them all !

The following belongs to the reign of Quee
Elizabeth, and was written on the defeat of th
Spanish Armada :

" A Skeltonical salutation,
Or condign gratulation,
At the just vexation
Of the Spanish nation,
That in a bravado
Spent many a crusado
In setting forth an Armado
England to invado.
Pro cujus memoria
Ye may well be soria,
Full small may be your gloria,
When ye shall hear this storia,
Then will ye cry and roria,
We shall see her no moria."

A Macaronic
By Tom Dishington, sometime Clerk of Craiu

" Horrifero nivium nimbos Aquilone ruente,
Sic tonuit Thoma Dishingtonos ore rotunda."

Saccum cum sugaro, cum drammibus in a glasseo,
In hoc vervece, est melius quam pipe o' tobacco.
ALM cum bikero, cum pyibus out o' the oono,
Cum pisce, Crelli nominato vulgo caponem,

MACARONICS. 99

Quid melius, si sit ter unctus butyro ?
Virides et beefum, cum nose-nippante sinapi ;
O quam gustabunt ad Maria More's fyr-sydum !
Sin erimus drunki, Deil care ! aras dat medicinum
Qui bibit ex lastis ex firstibus incipit ille.

A work entitled "Wild Sports of the East,"
published many years ago, contained the following
admirable specimen :

" Arma virumque cano qui primo solebo peeping,
Jam nunc cum tabbynox languet to button her eyelids,
Cum pointers et spaniels campos sylvasque pererrant.
Vos mihi — Brontothesi over arms small and great domi-

nantes,
Date spurs to dull poet qui dog Latin carmina condit,
Artibus atque noyis audax dum sportsman I follow
Per stubbles et turnips et tot discrimina rerum,
Dum partridge with popping terrificare minantur
Pauci, namque valent a feather tangere plumbo!
Carmina si hang fire discharge them bag-piping Apollo.
Te quoque, magne cleator, te memorande precamur.
Jam nunc thy fame gallops super Garamantos et Indos,
Nam nabobs nil nisi de brimstone et charcoal loquentur,
Horriferiflzque * Tippoo' sulphurea, sustinet arma.
Induit ecce shooter tunicam made of neat marble drugget,
Quae bene convenient defluxit to the waistband of breeches,
Nunc paper et powder et silices popped in the side-pocket,
Immemor haud shot-bag graditur comitatus two pointers,
Mellorian retinens tormentum dextra bibarelled :
En stat staunch dog Dingo haud aliter quam steady guide

post,
Proximus atque Pero per stat si ponere juxta,
With gun cocked and levelled et aeva lumine clauso,
Nunc avicida resolves haud double slroTv^^xcwt^^sw^Rx,

ioo MACARONICS.

Vos teneri yelpers vos grandivique parentes

Nunc palsy pate Jove orate to dress to the left hand,

Et Veneri tip the wink like a shot to skim down ab alto

Mingere per touch-hole totamque madescere priming.

Nunc lugete dire nunc sportsman plangite palmas,

Ex silis ecce lepus from box cum thistle aperto !

Bang bellowed both barrels, heu ! pronus sternitur each dog,

Et puss in the interim creeps away sub tegmine thornbush. ,,

*>»

ft

One of the most celebrated English macaronics
is a comedy entitled " Ignoramus," written by a
clergyman named Ruggle, and performed before
James I. at Cambridge in 1616. James expressed
himself as highly delighted with it, and ordered it
to be twice afterwards performed for his amuse-
ment. The pedantic monarch, educated by Buch-
anan, one of the purest of Latinists, well under-
stood the witty production, which had an additional
zest for the King in that it was a satire on the bar-
barous Law- Latin used by the English jurists of
the time — James being attached to the simpler
forms and terms of Scotch law. The quotation
given is part of one of the speeches of Ignoramus,
a lawyer, showing how he will endow his mistress,
Rosabella :

" Si posem vellem pro te, Rosa, ponere pellum
Quicquid tu qus crava, et habebis singula brava,
Et dabo, fee simple, si monstras Love's pretty dimple,
Gownos, silkcoatos, kirtellos, et petticoatos,

MACARONICS. ioi

Farthingales biggos, stomacheros, et perriwiggos,
Buskos et soccos, tiffanas en cambricka smockos,
Pantofflos, cuffos, garteros, Spanica ruffos,
Wimpolos, pursos ; ad ludos ibis et ursos."

Dean Swift was somewhat addicted to this style
of composition, and the following three are his :

A Love Song.

Apud in is almi de si re,
Mimi tres I ne ver re qui re,
Alo veri findit a gestis,
His miseri ne ver at restis.

To My Mistress.

mi de armis tres,

1 mi na dis tres.
Cantu disco ver
Meas alo ver ?

Moll.

Mollis abuti,
Has an acuti, ■
No lasso finis,
Molli divinis.

Geddes, a clergyman and translator of the Bible,
was a prolific macaronic writer. One of his pieces
is a poem of considerable length, describing a
dinner of Protestant dissenters at the London
Tavern. He thus writes of the tables :

" Sedimus ad ternas tabulas longo ordine postas
Et mappas mundi coveratas, et china-plattis,
Spoonibus, et knivis sharpis, furcisque trisulcis
Stratas ; cum largis glassis, vinoque repletis,
Botellis, saltis, vinegarique cruetis"

102

MACARONICS.

The following was written by S. W. Partridge,
and appeared originally in Bentley's Miscellany
about thirty years ago :

Tonis ad Resto Mare.

O Mare, aevi si forme,

Forme ure tonitru,
Iambecum as amandum,

Olet Hymen promptu !
Mihi his vetas an ne se,

As humano eribi.
Olet mecum marito te,

Or Eta, Beta, Pi !
Alas ! piano more meretrix,

Mi ardor vel uno ;
Inferiam ure art is base ;

Tolerat me urebo.
Ahm ! ve ara scillicet

To laudu vimen thus ;
Hiatu as arandum sex ;

Illuc Ionicus.
lieu ! sed heu ! vixen imago,

Mi mises mara sta ;
O cantu redit in mihi !

Hibemus arid a.
A veri vafer heri si,

Mihi resolves indu,
Totius olet Hymen cum,

Accepta tonitru.

Tony's Address to Mary.

Mary, heave a sigh for me,
For me, your Tony true ;

1 am become as a man dumb —

Oh, let Hymen prompt you !
My eye is vet as any sea,

As you may know hereby ;
Oh, let me come, Mary, to tea,

Or eat a bit o' pie !
Alas ! play no more merry tricks,

My ardour vel you know ;
In fear I am your heart is base ;

Tolerate me, your beau !
Ah me ! ve are a silly set

To laud you vimen thus ;
I hate you as a random sex,

Ill-luck I only curse.
You said, you vixen, I may go ;

My missus, Mary, stay ;
Oh, can't you read it in my eye ?

I burn as arid hay.
A very vafer here I sigh,

My eye resolves in dew ;
To tie us, oh ! let Hymen come-»-

Accept a Tony true.

The next example comes from the columns of a
newspaper :

Epitaph on a Dog.

y

Eheu ! hie jacet Crony,
A dog of much renown ;
ec fur, nee macaroni,
Though born and bred in town.

In war he was acerrimus,
In dog-like arts perite ;

In love, alas ! miserrimus,
For he died of a rival's bite.

MACARONICS. 103

His mistress struxit cenotaph,

And as the verse comes pat in,
Ego qui scribo epitaph,

Indite it in dog-Latin.

In a comedy by O'Keefe, an inebrious school-
master gives a song commencing —

" Amo, amas,
I love a lass
As cedar tall and slender ;
Sweet cowslip's grace
Is her nominative case,
And she's of the feminine gender.
(Chorus.). Horum corum
Sunt divorum
Harum scarum divo ;
Tagrag, merry-deny, periwig and hatband,
Hie hoc horum genitive"

An extraordinary specimen of macaronic " puff-
ing " appeared in a Liverpool newspaper some years

ago:

Ad Kelliam.

Parvum Buttyranum cano,
Qui vivit in via Dawsoni,
Sedit pulpito suo
Avec ses Barnacles super nasum
Et turndownibus collaris so natty,
Ibi recipit argentum et aurum,
Atque nova coppercoina distribuit
Ad costomeri qui emunt Buttyram
Suis. Tout le monde purchase

I

104 MACARONICS.

Son beurre sel et son beurre frais ;
Ambo sunt capital. Melle dulcis
Et Buttyrii Kellii.
Formosae sunt puellae quae milkent
Les belles vaches qui donnent du lait
Du quel Buttyrii Kellii formatur.
Butterus yellowus quam vendit
Octavorum pencium est trfes bon march£,
Sed Buttyrus optimus uni shillingi
Excellentissimum est.

O Kellius, mi puer, tu es trumpus !
Brickus concentratus sublimatus,
Et no mistake ! In " Loco " Butteryii
Super longum counterums sunt all sorts dis-
played —
Tempting veritabile appetitum.
Canamus et Laudamus Kellii
Benefactorum toto Liverpudlio,
Qui sells Butteryun cheap et bonum,
Et omnibus dat capital weight !

The winter of 1837-38 is memorable in the
annals of Edinburgh for a series of snowball riots
which were only finally quelled by a detachment
of the 79th Regiment. The defiance of all con-
stituted authorities, more especially of town coun-
cillors, was no new thing to the Edinburgh youth,
and when, in the beginning of 1838, a simple
snowball "bicker" merged into a bold and deter-
tnlned opposition to all authority, it only followed
the usual course of such dispVa^s, ^"Viex^ NJas.

MACARONICS. 105

customary interference of the civic power tends
to magnify a mere academical exercise into a
serious public riot. Snow had fallen thickly on
the evening of the 10th of January. Next morning
the street in front of the University was thronged
with boys and idlers, who began a short and com-
paratively trifling disturbance by throwing snow-
balls at the students going to and from their classes.
The snowballing recommenced with greater fury
in the afternoon, business was soon at a standstill
and the streets impassable; the disturbance not
being quelled until the students had learned to
expect little protection from the police, and pos-
sibly further annoyance from the public. The
following day it began anew; a body of police
sent for the protection of the students sided with
the mob, and there ensued a succession of sallies
from either side and hand-to-hand conflicts on the
street and in the porches of the College, which
lasted for several hours. Staffs, sticks, stones,
and snowballs were plied in all directions — many
severe wounds were inflicted, more especially on
the hats and heads of the police; until at last
matters seemed getting so serious that the Lord
Provost and Bailies of the city thought themselves
called upon to send to the Castle fox *a. 4^eas2eflSkKs&.

106 MACARONICS.

of soldiers. The appearance of the Redcoats and
the bayonets soon brought the riot to an end. In
the course of the second day thirty-five students
had been arrested and marched to the police-office.
Many, indeed, were seized who had not been en-
gaged in the tumult, and though all were remanded
to a future day, the prosecution was finally directed
against five only. Six weeks passed away before a
trial could be arranged ; the case was at last heard
before the Sheriff Court, occupied three days, and
terminated in a full acquittal. During these six
weeks squibs in all sorts of rhyme and measure were
printed in broadsheets and handed about the
streets. Of these, the best were written by Edward
Forbes, then a student, but afterwards Professor
of Natural History in Edinburgh, and amongst
them was the following :

Froste'idos. — Liber Solus.

Frosty policeque cano, Reekie qui primus ab office
In High Street, ad College venibant quellere riot,
Regiment assistente novem et septuaginta,
Bayonetibus fixis, shottisque et powdere multo ;
Musa, mihi causas memora, what Student offended,
Quidve dolens parentis Provosti, tot askere queries
Insignem foolery Lord Rector, tot adire so much slang
Impulerit. Tantaene animis Studentibus Irae !

MACARONICS. 107

Urbs antiqua fuit (Bailies tenuere coloni),
Edina, Burntisland contra, Fortharenaque longa
Ostia, very poor, Studisque asperrima physic,
Hinc erat collegium, edificum very superbum ;
Hinc erant Studentes, collected from every terra,
De first-rate Magistros qui sapientia tucked in,
Distincti juvenes amantes scienceque mischief,
Spes Scotiae erant, spes atque Brittaniae magnse.
Hinc etiam erant animalia batonibus ar-med,
Studentes arrestere toujours et frangere pacem,
" Policemen " Dii, " Charlies " qui homines vocant.
Hinc erant Bailies, Frosty et alia mobbi.

Anno incipiente happenabit, snowere multum
Et gelu intensum streetas coverabit wi* slidas,
Constanterque little boys, slided et pitched about snow-
balls,
Quorum not-a-few bunged up the eyes of Studentes,
Irritate, Studentes chargebant policemen to take up
Little boyos, sed Charlies refusabant so for to do then,
Contemptim Studentes appellabant " Pedica/ira."
Studentes indignant, reverberant compliments
Cum multi homines "blackguards" qui gentlemen

vocant.
Bakers, et Butchers, et Bullies, et Colliers, atres,
Et alios, cessatores qui locus ecclessise frequent
" Tron Church " et Cowgate cum its odoriferous abyss,
Assaultant Studentes stickis et umberelibus.
" Hit 'em hard 1 hit 'em hard ! " shoutant, " damnatos

puppies,"
" Catamitos que torios " appellant et various vile terms,
Studentes audiebant, sed devil an answer retur-ned.
Mobbus Policeque runt downpullere $ottav>

108 MACARONICS.

Studentes cudgellis thickheados populi crackunt,
Et smashunt fenestras interim snowballs volitantes,
Speroque metumque interdubii, on which side the

triumph,
Undique Policemen sinkunt sub whackibus stickum
Undique Butchers, et Bakers, et Colliers floorabunt
Thomsonus, bullyus in domus ill-famae Cowgatus,
Armatus umbrello poket Studentes frustra,
Umbrella shiverabunt, et Thomson cuts like the devil ;
Veluti doggum cum little boys animal plagant
Et tieunt ad talum tinkettlelum loudly clinkatum,
Currit, et barkat, et bow-wow y b<rw-w<nu shoutat.
Provost riot-acto cum Dymock quadrangulo rushet,
Sed frustra endeavorat to put a stop to the rowam ;
Studentes inquirant, " Si mater sua cognoscit
Filum out-esse ? " Sed Frosty respondit nihil !
Concurrit ad shoppum Bailie cognominat Grievum
(Asinus sed hominus) et cum boulanger Sawers,
Ad Castrum militibus Major Young atque they sendunt,
Militibus mille, annihilitare Studentes.
Horribile dictu ! regimentum vite arrivat,
Et in Quadrangulam ruit at double-quick time,
Bayonetibus fixis, et musketis loaded cum shottis,
Subito Policemen, qui nuper were sadly frightened
Magnanimi fiunt, et right and left seize on Studentes.
Arrestant Dalrymple et Kellat, fortissimos vires ;
Arrestant Aikenhead, Skirving que, Westmacott aussi,
Et luggant Studentes plures ad office in High Street,
Oh pudor ! videre gentlemen very ill-treated !

The next example given is from Notes and
Queries ;

MACARONICS. 109

Ml Molle Anni.

O pateo tulis aras cale fel O,

Hebetis vivis id, an sed " Aio puer vello ! "

Vittis nox certias in erebo de nota olim, —

A mite grate sinimus tonitis ovem :

" Prae sacer, do tellus, hausit," sese,

" Mi Molle anni cano te ver aegre ? "

Ure Molle anu cano te ver aegre.

Vere truso aio puellis tento me ;

Thrasonis piano " cum Hymen " (heu sedit),

" Diutius toga thyrso " Hymen edidit ; —

Stentior mari aget O mare nautis alter id alas !

Alludo isto terete ure daris pausas anas.

" O pater hie, heu vix en," ses Molle, and vi ?

Heu itera vere grates troche in heri.

Ah Moliere arti fere procaciter intuitis !

Vos me ! for de parte da vas ure arbuteis.

Thus thrasonis planas vel huma se,

Vi ure Molle anu capo te ver aegre.

Betce Molle indulgent an suetas agile, —

Pares pector sex, uno vimen ars ille ;

" Quietat ure servis lam," sato heras heu pater,

" Audio do missus Molle, an vatis thema ter ?

Ara mi honestatis, vetabit, diu se, —

O mare, mi dare, cum specto me :

Ago in a vae aestuare, vel uno more illic,

O mare, mi dare, cum pacto ure pater hie"

Beavi ad visu civile, an socia luse,

Ure Molle an huma fore ver aegre.

Which, being interpreted, is ;

no MACARONICS,

My Molly and L

O Patty O'Toole is a rascally fellow,

He beat his wife's head, and said, " I hope you are well, O ! "

With his knocks, sir, she has in her body not a whole limb, —

A mighty great sin I must own it is of him.

" Pray, say, sir, do tell us, how is it, 9 says he,

" My Molly and I cannot ever agree ? "

Your Molly and you cannot ever agree :

Very true, so I hope you will listen to me ;

The rason is plain, u O come Hymen ? (you said it),

u Do ye tie us together." So Hymen he did it

Since your marriage to Mary now 'tis altered, alas !

All you do is to trate your dear spouse as an ass.

" O Patrick ! you vixen," says Molly, and why ?

You hit her a very great stroke in her eye.

Ah Molly ! her heart I fear proke as 'twere in two it is !

Woes me ! for departed away sure her beauty is.

Thus the rason is plain, as well you may see,

Why your Molly and you cannot ever agree.

Be to Molly indulgent and swate as a jelly, —

Pay respect to her sex, you know women are silly :

fi Quite at your service I am," say to her as you pat her,

" How d'ye do, Missus Molly, and what is the matter ?

Arah, my honey ! stay, 'tis wait a bit, d'ye see,

O Mary, my dary, come spake to me :

A-going away is't you are, well you no more 111 lick,

O Mary, my dary, come pack to your Patrick."

Behave, I advise you, and so you shall see,

Your Molly and you may for ever agree.

The following appeared in Punch some years
ago, and, though not exactly macaronic, deserves
a place as a literary curiosity :

MACARONICS. Ill

TO GE AEAAINr HEPIOAIKAA.

Gtj KO/jLTXifievr, ypear <rip, o razee,
T/>e a j8/>uc, avb* vo fuffraxe '
Eve/u to KXkvr avd <f>v8ye t
Tt/*€ to Oee I jvc'sp fieypvdye '
Ap5 I cure ro ffee vpe vajie
$Q)pefiwrr ip Be \ktts (xf> <f>a/x€

Tofi 2/uO, Tpvp TtrpccT.

A juvenile specimen may find room here :

Little Jack Horner.

Parvus Jacobus Horner

Sedebat in corner,
Edens a Christmas pie :

Inferuit thumb,

Extraherit plum —
Clamans, " Quid sharp puer ami!"

The " Breitmann Ballads " * of Mr. Charles G.
Leland are of a very humorous nature, and many
are also in a certain degree macaronic — in so far,
at least, that they combine two languages. They
are written in the curious broken English spoken
by many thousands of Germans in America, and
are all of them full of happy phrases and curious
combinations of English words with German forms
and idioms, as :

• " Got well ge-cooked his goose."
We give one short poem — not perhaps the best

* Triibner & Co., London.

*

H2 MACARONICS.

macaronic specimen, but one showing well the
author's humour and style :

Love Song.

O vere mine lofe a sugar-powl,

De fery shmallest loomp
Vouldt shveet de seas, from pole to pole,

Und make de shildren shoomp.
Und if she vere a clofer-field,

I'd bet my only pence,
It vouldn't pe no dime at all

Pefore I'd shoomp the fence.

Her heafenly foice, it drill me so,

It oft-dimes seems to hoort,
She is de holiest animale

Dat roons oopon de dirt.
De renpow rises vhen she sings,

De sonnshine vhen she dalk ;
De angels crow und flop deir wings

Vhen she goes out to valk.

So livin white, so carnadine,

Mine lofe's gomblexion show ;
It's shoost like Abendcarmosine,

Rich gleamin on de shnow.
Her soul makes plushes in her sheek

Ash sommer reds de wein,
Or sonnlight sends a fire life troo

An blank Karfunkelstein.

De uberschwengliche id£es
Dis lofe poot in my mind,

MACARONICS. 113

Vouldt make a foost-rate philosoph

Of any human kind
Tis schudderin schveet on eart to meet

An himmlisch-hoellisch Qual ;
Und treat mitwhiles to Kummel Schnapps

De Schoenheitsid£aL

Dein Fuss seind weiss wie Kreiden,

Dein Ermlein Helfenbein,
Dein ganzer Leib ist Seiden,

Dein Brust wie Marmelstein —
Ja — vot de older boet sang,

I sing of dee — dou Fine !
Dou'rt soul und pody, heart und life :

Glatt, zart, gelind, und rein.*

Wendell Holmes, in the " Autocrat of the
Breakfast Table," f gives a macaronic poem, which
is thus introduced : "Your talking Latin reminds
me of an odd trick of one of my old tutors. He
read so much of that language, that his
English half turned into it. He got caught in
town, one hot summer, in pretty close quarters,
and wrote, or began to write, a series of city
pastorals. Eclogues, he called them, and meant

* " Thy feet are white as chalk, my love,
Thy arms are ivory bone,
Thy body is all satin soft,
Thy breast of marble stone.

• • • • »

Smooth, tender, pure, and fair."
t London ; Routledge & Sons.

H4 MACARONICS.

to have published them by subscription. I re-
member some of his verses, if you want to hear
them. . . . The old man had a great deal to say
about ' aestivation/ as he called it, in opposition, as
one might say, to hibernation. Intra-mural aesti-
vation, or town-life in summer, he would say, is a
peculiar form of suspended existence or semi-
asphyxia. One wakes up from it about the
beginning of the last week in September. This is
what I remember of his poem :

^Estivation.

In candent ire the solar splendor flames ;
The foles, languescent, pend from arid rames ;
His humid front the cive, anheling, wipes,
And dreams of erring on ventiferous ripes.

How dulce to vive occult to mortal eyes,
Dorm on the herb with none to supervise,
Carp the suave berries from the crescent vine,
And bibe the flow from longicaudate kine !

To me, alas ! no verdurous visions come,
Save yon exiguous pool's conferva-scum —
No concave vast repeats the tender hue
That laves my milk-jug with celestial blue.

Me wretched ! let me curr to quercine shades !
Effund your albid hausts, lactiferous maids !
Oh, might I vole to some umbrageous clump, —
Depart — be off, — excede, — evade, — erump !

MACARONICS. n$

We conclude the notice of Macaronic Verse with
a ridiculous specimen of a hybrid language, written
by Pinkerton the antiquary. It is a version of a
portion of the beautiful " Vision of Mirza ," having
Italian terminations to English words :

"When I was ato Grand Cairo, I picked up several
orientala manuscripta, whica I have still by me. Among
othera, I met with one entitulen, Thea Visiona of Mirza,
whica I have redd ove with great pleasure. I intend to
give ito to the publico, when I have no other entertain,
mento fo them : ando shall begin with the first vision,
whico I have translaten wordo fo wordo az followeth :

" On the fifth day of the moon, whico according to
the customo of mya forefathera I always keep holi, aftero
having washen myself, ando offeren up mya morninga
devotiona, I ascended thea hia hilla of Bagdad, in
ordero to pas the resto of the dayo in meditation. Az
I waz here airing myself on thea topa of thea mountaina,
I fell into a profound contemplation of the vanity of
human life; ando passing fro one thote to anothero;
surely, said I, man iz buto a shado ando life a dreamo.
While I waz thuso muzing, I cast mea eyea towardo
the summito of a roco, tha waz noto faro fro me, where
I discovered one, in the habito of a shepherdo, with a
litel musical instrument in hiz hando. Az I looked
upo him, he applied ito to hiza lipa, ando began to play
upo it Thea soundo of ito waz exceeding sweet, ando
wrote into a variety of tuna tha were inexpressibly
melodiouza, ando alto differenta fro any thinga I had,
eve heard," &c

( n6 )

I

CHRONOGRAMS.

NOTHER kind of puzzling ingenuity to
which our ancestors were occasionally
addicted was the indicating of dates in
the manner known as Chronograms or Chrono-
graphs. This was done by the device of capita-
lising certain letters in the words of a sentence ;
take, as a primary example, and as giving at once
a key to the meaning of this kind of literary
frivolity, the line from Horace :

. . . . feriaM siDera Vertlce ;

the capital letters here, MDVI, give the year 1506.
As a source of amusement this fashion prevailed
in some degree among the Romans, and more
recently among the French literati — the epigram-
matic qualities of the language of the latter being
perhaps somewhat of an inducement to this literary
frivolity. We all know such puzzles as XL, which
will serve for either 40 or for " excel ; " and MIX,
which answers alike for 1009 and for "mix."

CHRONOGRA MS. 1 1 7

Shakespeare evidently knew something of Chrono-
grams, for in " Love's Labour's Lost " (iv. sc. 2),
Holofernes makes one of his quips in this way in
conversation with Sir Nathaniel and Dull. He
boasts : " This is a gift that I have, simple, simple ;
a foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures,
shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions,
revolutions;" and in making letters serve as
numerals, Holofernes says :

'* If sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores ; O sore L !
Of one sore I an hundred make, by adding but one more L."

•

Chronograms have been more used in ecclesias-
tical inscriptions than otherwise, and are to be
found engraven plentifully in churches and cathe-
drals in cities on the banks of the Rhine. The
regular order of the letters composing the date
frequently seems never to have been taken into
account, the selection in many cases being some-
what arbitrary. The following is one done in this
way, and is made up from the Latinised name of
George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham :

"GeorgIVs DVX BVCklngaMIe,"

which gives MDCXVWIII (1628), the year of
the Duke's assassination by Lieutenant Felton. It
must be evident from this example tVvaX. ^&o ^^S-

1 1 8 CHRONOGRAMS.

difficulty exists in indicating any date by capita-
lising letters at intervals.

There is an inscription on a church at Cologne,
giving the date of 1722 —

" pla VIrglnIs Marlae soDaLItas annos
saeCVLarl renoVat"

On the minster at Bonn is the following, chrono-
graphically indicating the date of 161 1 :

" glorifiCate #

et

portate DeVM

In Corpore Vestro

1 Cor. 6."

The close of the Seven Years' War is thus
expressed :

" Aspera beLLa sILent ; reDIIt bona gratia paCIs ;
O si parta foret seMper In orbe qVIes."

On a fountain near the Church of St. Francesco

di Paola is this :

" D. O. M.
Imperante Carlo VI., Vicregente Comite de Palma,
Gubernante Civitate Comite de Wallis.

P. P. P.
Vt aCtlonlbVs nostrls IVste proCeDaMVs."

The last line gives VCIIVIIVCDMV, which,
fc added tog-ether, is 1724.

CHRONOGRAMS. 1 1 9

The following Chronogram is said to be in
Albury Church, and gives the date of death in
1646 of George Duncome of Weston, founder of
that branch of the family in Surrey :

"ResVrgent eX Isto pVLVere qVI Ibl sepVLtl DorMIVnt.
My body, pawned to death, doth here remaine,
As surety for the soul's return againe."

The capitals taken in the order in which they
stand, are VXIVLWIIIVLIDMIV, but rear-
ranged in the order of their relative importance are
MDLLXVWWVIIIIII, or 1646.

Coins and medals were not unfrequently made
the subject of chronographic inscriptions ; as, for
example, after the opening of the gold mines at
Fiume-di-Nisi in Sicily, the Messinese coins bore
this :

"eX VIsCerlbVs Mels haeC fVnDItVr" (1734?)

Addison, in one of his pleasant papers (No. 60
of the " Spectator "), has the following passage on
this subject : " This kind of wit appears very often
on modern medals, especially those of Germany,
when they represent in the inscription the year in
which they were coined. Thus we see on a medal
of Gustavus Adolphus the following words; —
' ChrlstVs DuX ergo triVMphVs/ U ^>\ V-*Ssa

120 CHRONOGRAMS.

the pains to pick the figures out of the several
words and range them in their proper order, you
will find they amount to MDCXVWII, or 1627,
the year in which the medal was stamped ; for, as
some of the letters distinguish themselves from the
rest and overtop their fellows, they are to be con-
sidered in a double capacity, both as letters and as
figures. Your laborious German wits will turn over
a whole dictionary for one of these ingenious devices.
A man would think they are searching after an apt
classical term ; but instead of that, they are looking
out a word that has an L, an M, or a D in it.
When, therefore, we meet with any of these in-
scriptions, we are not so much to look in them for
the thought as for the year of our Lord."

In Thomas Fuller's " Worthies " there is to be
found a notice of the death of Bishop Prideaux,
which indicates 1650 as the year of his death :
" Iohannes PrIDeaVXVs EpIsCopVs WIgornlae
MortVVs est." There are very few English
Chronograms, and but one of any note, which
gives the date of the death of Queen Elizabeth :

" My Day Closed Is In Immortality."

The capital letters in the above giving MDCIII
fc| or 1603, the year the great Queen died.

CHRONOGRAMS. 121

This brief notice of Chronograms — of which we
have limited the examples — cannot be better con-
cluded than by the following anecdote, related by
Wheatley in his little book upon Anagrams. "A pas-
sage of Scripture, arranged chronogramrrratically,
was made the vehicle for a prophecy by Michael
Stifelius, a Lutheran minister at Wirtemberg, who
foretold that on the 3d of October 1533, at ten
o'clock, the world would come to an end. The
passage from which he elicited this wonderful, and,
as it proved, inaccurate prediction, is in John xix.
37 — ' They shall look on Him whom they pierced '
— VIDebVnt In qVeM transflXerVnt, making
MDXVWVIII or 1533; but the month, the day,
and the hour seem only to have existed in the
excited imagination of the worthy Stifelius himself.
There is a rider to this anecdote which may be
thus related : On the day that Stifelius predicted
the end of the world, a very violent storm arose
while he was preaching to his congregation, who
believed his prophecy was coming to pass, when
lo! suddenly the clouds disappeared, the sky
became clear, and all was calm except the people,
whose indignation was aroused, and they dragged
the prophet from his pulpit, and beat him. sorely
for thus disappointing them,"

( 122 )

I

ECHO VERSES.

HE writing of Echo Verses was another of
the methods in which our bygone poets
often displayed an occasional poetical
beauty, as well as a quaint ingenuity — the aim of
such compositions being that the last syllable,
when repeated as by an echo, should convey a
different yet appropriate meaning. Butler seems
to have been rather opposed to this literary fri-
volity,for in the following extract from "Hudibras,"
in which Orsin is lamenting for his bear, he terms
them " splay-foot " rhymes :

" He beat his breast and tore his hair,
For loss of his dear crony bear
That Echo, from the hollow ground,
His doleful wailings did resound
More wistfully, by many times,
Than in small poets' splay-foot rhymes.
Quoth he, ' O whither, wicked bruin,
Art thou fled ? to my ' — Echo, « Ruin?
i I thought thou 'ads't scorned to budge a step
For fear.' Quoth Echo, ' Marry quep.'

ECHO VERSES. 123

' Am I not here to take thy part,

Then what has quailed thy stubborn heart ?

Have these bones rattled, and this head

So often in thy quarrel bled ?

Nor did I ever wince or trudge it

For thy dear sake.' Quoth she, * Mum budget?

' To run from those thou hadst o'ercome

Thus cowardly.' Quoth Echo, i Mum I

1 Yet shame and honour might prevail

To keep thee thus from turning tail,

For who would grudge to spend his blood in

His honour's cause ? ' Quoth she, * A puddin ' /

y »

This kind of verse was at one time frequently
used in political affairs, and the following was
written by a Royalist during the struggle between
Charles I. and the Parliamentarians :

" What wantest thou, that thou art in this sad taking ?

Echo — A king.

What made him first remove hence his residing?

Siding.
Did any here deny him satisfaction ?

Faction,
Tell me wherein the strength of faction lies ?

On lies.
What didst thou when the king left his Parliament ?

Lament.
What terms wouldst give to gain his company ?

Any.
What wouldst thou do if here thou mightst behold him ?

124 ECHO VERSES.

But wouldst thou save him with thy best endeavour ?

Ever.
But if he comes not, what becomes of London ?

Undone. "

Another Royalist production of this nature is

given by Disraeli in his " Curiosities," as having

been recited at the end of a comedy played

by the scholars of Trinity College, Cambridge, in

March 1641 :

The Echo.

Now, Echo, on what's religion grounded ?

Roundhead !
Whose its professors most considerable ?

Rabble !

How do these prove themselves to be the godly ?

Oddly.
But they in life are known to be the holy.

Olie!
Who are these preachers, men or women common ?

Common !
Come they from any universitie ?

Citie.
Do they not learning from their doctrine sever ?

Ever.
Yet they pretend that they do edifie ;

Ofie!
What do you call it then, to fructify ?

Ay.
What church have they, and what pulpits ?

Pitts !

ECHO VERSES. 125

But now in chambers the Conventicle ;

Tickle !
The godly sisters shrewdly are belied.

Bellied !
The godly number then will soon transcend.

End!
As for the temples they with zeal embrace them.

Rase them !
What do they make of bishop's hierarchy ?

Archie ! *

Are crosses, images, ornaments their scandall ?

AIL
Nor will they leave us many ceremonies,

Monies.
Must even religion down for satisfaction,

Faction.
How stand they affected to the government civil ?

Evil.
But to the king they say they are most loyal

Lye all !
Then God keep king and State from these same men.

Amen !

The following belongs to the same period. All
our readers, however, may not agree with the
sentiments of the author, and, though not properly

* " An allusion, probably, to Archibald Armstrong, the fool or
privileged jester of Charles I., usually called Archy, who had a
quarrel with Archbishop Laud, and of whom many arch things are
on record : there is a little jest-book very high-priced and of little
worth which bears the title of Archie* s Jests? — ZJisracCw

126 ECHO VERSES.

belonging to the class of Echo Verses, the poem
has generally been referred to as deserving a place
amongst them :

" O faithless world, and thy most faithless part,

A woman's heart ;
The true shop of variety, where sits

Nothing but fits
And fevers of desire, and pangs of love,

Which toys remove.
Why was she bom to please, or I to trust

Words writ in dust ?
Suffering her looks to govern my despair,

My painful air ;
And fruit of time rewarded with untruth,

The food of youth.
Untrue she was, yet I believed her eyes,

Instructed spies ;
Till I was taught that love is but a school

To train a fooL
Could it be absence that did make her strange,

Base flower of change ?
Or sought she more than triumph of denial ?

To see a trial,
How far her smile commanded on my weakness

To yield and confess.
Excuse not now the folly, nor her nature,

Blush and endure
As well thy shame, as passions that were vain,

And think thy gain,
To know that love, lodged in a woman's breast,

Is but a guest"

ECHO VERSES. 127

The next is a Dialogue between Glutton and
Echo, taken from " Hygiasticon : or the Right
Course of Preserving Life and Health unto extream
old Age : together with soundnesse and integritie
of the Senses, Judgement, and Memorie. Written
in Latine by Leonard Lessius, and now done into
Englishe. 24 mo , Cambridge. 1634."

Dialogue between a Glutton and Echo.

Glutton. My bellie I do deifie.

Echo. Fie !

Gl. Who curbs his appetite's a fooL

Echo. Ah fool !

Gl. I do not like this abstinence.

Echo. Hence !

Gl. My joy's a feast, my wish is wine.

Echo. Swine.

Gl. We epicures are happie truly.

Echo. You lie.

Gl. Who's that which giveth me the lie ?

Echo. I.

Gl. What ! Echo, thou that mock'st a voice ?

Echo. A voice.

Gl. May I not, Echo, eat my fill ?

Echo. 111.

Gl. Wilt hurt me if I drink too much ?

Echo. Much.

Gl. Thou mock'st me, nymph ; I'll not believe it

Echo. BelLe^t.

128 ECHO VERSES.

GL Dost thou condemn then what I do ?
Echo. I do.

GL I grant it doth exhaust the purse.
Echo. Worse.

GL Is't this which dulls the sharpest wit ?
Echo. Best wit.

Gl. Is't this which brings infirmities ?
Echo. It is.

GL Whither wilPt bring my soul ? canst tell ?
Echo. Thell.

GL Dost thou no gluttons virtuous know ?
Echo. No.

GL Would'st have me temperate till I die ?
Echo. Ay.

GL Shall I therein finde ease and pleasure ?
Echo. Yea, sure.

GL But is f t a thing which profit brings ?
Echo. It brings.

GL To mind or body ? or to both ?
Echo. To both.

GL Will it my life on earth prolong?
Echo. Oh long !

GL Will it make me vigorous until death ?
Echo. Till death.

GL Will't bring me to eternal blisse ?
Echo. Yes.

GL Then, sweetest Temperance, 111 love thee.
Echo. I love thee.

GL Then, swinish Gluttonie, I' leave thee.
Echo. Ill leave thee.

Gl. Ill be a belly-god no more.
JZc/io. No more.

ECHO VERSES. 129

Gl. If all be true which thou dost tell,
They who fare sparingly, fare well.
Echo. Farewell.

At the time when Napoleon was supreme over
Germany, in the spring of 1806, one Palm, a book-
seller in Nuremberg, published a pamphlet entitled
"Germany in its Deepest Humiliation," which
contained some bitter truths concerning Napoleon,
criticising his policy with considerable severity.
Palm was seized by French gendarmes, and
transferred to Brunau, where he was tried before
an extraordinary court-martial for a libel on the
Emperor of France, and condemned to death,
without any advocate being heard in his defence.
All intercession on his behalf failing, he was shot
on August 26, in terms of his sentence — the very
day of his trial ! The murder of this poor man,
for such it literally was, whether immediately follow-
ing from Napoleon's mandate, or the effect of the
furious zeal of some of his officers, excited deep and
universal indignation. Napoleon himself afterwards
said regarding Palm's execution — "All that I recol-
lect is, that Palm was arrested by order of Davoust,
I believe, tried, condemned, and shot, for having,
while the country was in possession of the French
and under military occupation, not only excited

%

130 ECHO VERSES.

rebellion amongst the inhabitants, and urged them
to rise and massacre the soldiers, but also attemp-
ted to instigate the soldiers themselves to refuse
obedience to their orders, and to mutiny against
their generals. / believe that he met with a fair
trial" * An Echo Poem appeared with the pam-
phlet, of which the following is a translation :

Bonaparte and the Echo.

Bon. Alone, I am in this sequestered spot not overheard.

Echo. Heard !

Bon. 'Sdeath ! Who answers me ? What being is there nigh ?

Echo. L

Ban. Now I guess ! To report my accents Echo has made her task.

Echo. Ask.

Bon. Knowest thou whether London will henceforth continue to

resist?
Echo. Resist

Bon. Whether Vienna and other Courts will oppose me always ?
Echo. Always.

Bon. O Heaven ! what must I expect after so many reverses ?
Echo. Reverses.

Bon. What ! should I, like a coward vile, to compound be reduced ?
Echo. Reduced.

Bon. After so many bright exploits be forced to restitution ?
Echo. Restitution.

Bon. Restitution of what I've got by true heroic feats and martial

address?
Echo. Yes.

Bon. What will be the fate of so much toil and trouble ?
Echo. Trouble.

Bon. What will become of my people, already too unhappy ?
Echo. Happy.

* " Voice from St. Helena," vol i. p. 432.

ECHO VERSES. 131

Bon. What should I then be, that I think myself immortal ?

Echo. Mortal

Eon. The whole world is filled with the glory of my name, you

know.
Echo. No.

Bon. Formerly its fame struck this vast globe with terror.

Echo. Error.

Bon. Sad Echo, begone ! I grow infuriate ! I die !

Echo. Die !

The next example is a Song by Addison :

" Echo, tell me, while I wander

O'er this fairy plain to prove him,
If my shepherd still grows fonder,
Ought I in return to love him ?

Echo — Love him, love him !

If he loves, as is the fashion,

Should I churlishly forsake him ?
Or in pity to his passion,
• Fondly to my bosom take him ?

Echo — Take him, take him !

Thy advice then, I'll adhere to,

Since in Cupid's chains I've led him ;

And with Henry shall not fear to
Marry, If you answer, ' Wed him ! '
Echo — Wed him, wed him ! "

William Browne (1590-1645)^ poet of whom
comparatively little is known, in one of his poems,
" Britannia's Pastorals," introduces in his " Fifth
Song" some Echo verses; apostrophising Heaven,
Browne writes —

132 ECHO VERSES.

" O sacred Essence, light'ning me this houre !
How may I rightly stile thy great power ?

Echo — Power.

Power ! but of whence ? under the greene-wood spray,
Or hVst in Heaven ? say :

Echo — In Heavens aye.

In Heavens aye ! tell, may I it obtaine
By almes, by fasting, prayer, by paine ?

Echo — By paine.

Show me the paine, it shall be undergone :
I to mine end will still go on.

Echo— Go on.

But whither? On ! Show me the place, the time :
What if the mountaine I do climbe ?

Echo — Climbe.

Is that the way to joyes which still endure ?
Oh bid my soul of it be sure !

Echo — Be sure.

Then, thus assured, doe I climbe the hill,
Heaven be my guide in this Thy will.

Echo— I will."

The next is taken from an old newspaper
{circa 1760) :

" If I address the Echo yonder,
What will its answer be, I wonder ?

Echo — I wonder.

ECHO VERSES. 133

O wondrous Echo, tell me, blessc,
Am I for marriage or celibacy ?

Echo — Silly Bessy.

If then to win the maid I try,
Shall I find her a property ?

Echo — A proper tie.

If neither being grave nor funny
Will win the maid to matrimony ?

Echo — Try money.

If I should try to gain her heart,
Shall I go plain, or rather smart ?

Echo — Smart

She mayn't love dress, and I, again, then
May come too plain, and she'll complain then ?

Echo — Come plain, then.

To please her most, perhaps 'tis best
To come as I'm in common dressed ?

Echo — Come undressed.

Then, if to marry me I tease her,
What will she say if that should please her?

Echo — Please, sir.

When cross nor good words can appease her —
What if such naughty whims should seize her ?

Echo — You'd see, sir.

When wed she'll change, for Love's no stickler,
And love her husband less than liquor?

Echo — Then lick her.

■%

134 ECHO VERSES.

To leave me then I can't compel her,
Though every woman else excel her.

Echo— Sell her.

The doubting youth to Echo turned again, sir,
To ask advice, but found it did not answer."

The following appeared in an Edinburgh news-
paper some years ago, and is of a similar nature to
the preceding :

Ego and Echo.

s

I asked of Echo, t'other day,
Whose words are few and often funny,

What to a question she should say
Of courtship, love, and matrimony.

Quoth Echo, plainly, " Matter o* money. '*

Whom should I marry ? Should it be

A dashing damsel, gay and pert,
A pattern of consistency,

Or selfish, mercenary flirt ?

Quoth Echo, sharply, " Nary flirt"

What if, a-weary of the strife

That long has lured the gay deceiver,

She promised to amend her life
And sin no more — can I believe her ?

Quoth Echo, with decision, "Leave her."

But if some maiden with a heart
On me should venture to bestow it,

ECHO VERSES. 135

Pray, should I act the wiser part,
To take the treasure or forego it ?

Quoth Echo, very promptly, "Go it"

But what, if seemingly afraid
To bind her fate in Hymen's fetter,

She vows she means to die a maid,
In answer to my loving letter ?

Quoth Echo, very coolly, "Let her."

What if, in spite of her disdain,

I find my heart entwined about
With Cupid's dear, delicious chain,

So closely that I can't get out ?

Quoth Echo, laughingly, "Get out."

But if some maid with beauty blest,
As pure and fair as Heaven can make her,

Will share my labour and my rest

Till envious Death shall overtake her ?
Quoth Echo (sotto voce), "Take her."

This appeared in a periodical but a short time
ago, and is by R. E. Francillon :

" Lady. Echo, what giveth maiden's best address ?
Echo. A dress.

Lady. And, of their songs, which is the best for tune ?
Echo. Fortune.

Lady. Whereto must trust poor maids to it ?
Echo. To wit

Lady. But if they be nor rich nor yet too wise ?
Echo. To eyes.".

136 ECHO VERSES.

An Echo Poem by good George Herbert runs

as follows :

Heaven.

O who wili show me those delights on high ?

Echo— I.

Thou, Echo ? Thou art mortal, all men know.

Echo — No.

Wert thou not born among the trees and leaves ?

Echo — Leaves.

And are there any leaves that still abide ?

Echo — Bide.

What leaves are they ? Impart the matter wholly.

Echo — Holy.

Are holy leaves the Echo then of bliss ?

Echo — Yes.

Then tell me, what is that supreme delight ?

Echo — Light

Light to the mind : what shall the will enjoy ?

Echo — Joy.

But are there cares and business with the pleasure ?

Echo — Leisure.

Light, joy, and leisure ! but shall they persever ?

Echo — Ever !

The beautiful verses next given are taken from a
volume entitled " The Changed Cross/ 1 * a collec-

* London: Sampson Low & Co.

ECHO VERSES. 137

tion of religious poems gathered chiefly from
American sources, and bear the name of

The Christian and his Echo.

True faith, producing love to God and man,
Say, Echo, is not this the Gospel plan ?

The Gospel plan.

Must I my faith and love to Jesus show,
By doing good to all, both friend and foe ?

Both friend and foe.

But if a brother hates and treats me ill,
Must I return him good, and love him still ?

Love him still.

If he my failings watches to reveal,
Must I his faults as carefully conceal ?

As carefully conceal.

But if my name and character he blast,
And cruel malice, too, a long time last ;
And if I sorrow and affliction know,
He loves to add unto my cup of woe ;
In this uncommon, this peculiar case,
Sweet Echo, say, must I still love and bless ?

Still love and bless.

Whatever usage ill I may receive,
Must I be patient still, and still forgive ?

Be patient still, and still forgive.

Why, Echo, how is this ? thou'rt sure a dove !
Thy voice shall teach me nothing else but love ?

Nothing else but love.

138 ECHO VERSES.

Amen ! with all my heart, then be it so ;
Tis all delightful, just, and good, I know ;
And now to practise I'll directly go.

Directly go.

Things being so, whoever me reject,
My gracious God me surely will protect

Surely will protect.

Henceforth I'll roll on Him my every care,
And then both friend and foe embrace in prayer.

Embrace in prayer.

But after all those duties I have done,
Must I, in point of merit, them disown,
And trust for heaven through Jesus' blood alone ?

Through Jesus' blood alone.

Echo, enough ! thy counsels to mine ear
Are sweeter than, to flowers, the dew-drop tear ;
Thy wise instructive lessons please me well :
I'll go and practise them. Farewell, farewell !

Practise them. Farewell, farewell !

The following beautiful poem has been ascribed
to various authors — amongst others, to James I.
and Bishop Andrewes. It is not an Echo Poem,
but its composition being somewhat similar, it
merits a place here.

The Lord's Prayer.

If any be distressed, and fain would gather
Some comfort, let him haste unto

ECHO VERSES. 139

Our Father,
For we of hope and help are quite bereaven
Except Thou succour us

Who art in heaven.
Thou showest mercy, therefore for the same
We praise Thee, singing

Hallowed be Thy name.
Of all our miseries cast up the sum ;
Show us Thy joys, and let

Thy kingdom come.
We mortal are, and alter from our birth ;
Thou constant art.

Thy will be done on earth.
Thou mad'st the earth, as well as planets seven,
Thy name be blessed here

As 'tis in Heaven.
Nothing we have to use or debts to pay,
Except Thou give it us.

Give us this day
Wherewith to clothe us, wherewith to be fed,
For without Thee we want —

Our daily bread.
We want, but want no faults, for no day passes
But we do sin —

Forgive us our trespasses.
No man from sinning ever free did live,
Forgive us, Lord, our sins

As we forgive.
If we repent our faults, Thou ne'er disdainest us ;
We pardon them

That trespass against us.
Forgive us that is past, a new path tread >as>\

HO ECHO VERSES.

Direct us always in Thy faith,

And lead us —
We, Thine own people, and Thy chosen nation,
Into all truth, but

Not into temptation.
Thou that of all good graces art the giver,
Suffer us not to wander,

But deliver
Us from the fierce assaults of world and devil
And flesh, so shalt Thou free us

From all evil
To these petitions let both Church and laymen,
With one consent of heart and voice, say

Amen.

One of the most peculiar poems we have met
with follows, and being the same in subject as the
preceding, it is placed here, though properly
belonging neither to this section nor any other.
The initial letters of the lines form an acrostic of
"My boast is in the glorious Cross of Christ"
The words in Italics, when read on the left-hand
side from top to bottom, and on the right hand
from bottom to top, form the whole of the Lord's
Prayer.

My Boast is in the Glorious Cross of Christ.

Make known the gospel truth, our Father King ;

Yield up Thy grace, dear Father, from above ;
Bless us with hearts which feelingly can sing,

" Our life Thou art for ever, God of love."

ECHO VERSES. 141

Assuage our grief in love for Christ, we pray,

Since the Prince of Heaven and glory died,
Took away all sins, and hallowed the display,

Infinite being, first man, and then was crucified.
Stupendous God ! Thy grace and power make known ;

In Jesus' name let all the world rejoice,
Now labour in Thy heavenly kingdom own —

That blessed kingdom, of Thy saints the choice.
How vile to come to Thee, is all our cry ;

Enemies to Thy self, and all that's Thine ;
Graceless our will, we live /or vanity ;

Loathing the very being, evil in design —
O God, Thy will be done from earth to heaven ;

Reclining on the gospel let us live,
In earthy from sin delivered and forgiven,

Oh, as Thyself, but teach us to forgive ;
Unless its power temptation doth destroy.

Sure is our fall into the depths of woe.
Carnal in mind, we have not a glimpse of joy

Raised against Heaven ; in us no hopes we know.
Oh, give us grace, and lead us on the way ;

Shine on us with Thy love, and give us peace.
Self, and this sin that rise against us, slay.

Oh, grant each day our trespasses may cease ;
Forgive our evil deeds that oft we do ;

Convince us daily of them to our shame ;
Help us with heavenly bread, forgive us, too,

Recurrent lusts ; and we'll adore Thy name.
In Thy forgiveness we as saints can die,

Since for us, and our trespasses so high,
Thy Son, our Saviour, died on Calvary.

142 ECHO VERSES.

Similar to the above is this verse by George
Herbert :

"Our life is hid with Christ in God."

(Colos. Hi. 3.)

My words and thoughts do both express this notion,
That Life hath with the sun a double motion.
The first Is straight, and our diurnal friend ;
The other Hid y and doth obliquely bend.
One life is wrapt In flesh, and tends to earth :
The other winds toward Him, whose happy birth
Taught me to live here so, That still one eye
Should aim and shoot at that which Is on high ;
Quitting with daily labour all My pleasure,
To gain at harvest an eternal Treasure.

( 143 )

JESUITICAL VERSES.

ESUITICAL, or, as they are sometimes
called, Equivocal Verses, had their origin
very much in the political and religious
feuds of our ancestors. They are designed to give
two very different meanings, according as they are
read downwards or across. Thus, the following
lines, if read as they stand, must be admired for
their loyalty, but if perused in the order of the
figures prefixed, a very different result is obtained :

i. I love my country — but the King

3. Above all men his praise I sing,
2. Destruction to his odious reign

4. That plague of princes, Thomas Paine ;

5. The royal banners are displayed

7. And may success the standard aid

6. Defeat and ruin seize the cause

8. Of France, her liberty, and laws.

The foregoing relic of a revolutionary period
may be well followed by one pertaining to Refor-

144 JESUITICAL VERSES.

mation times, which may be read either across or
down the columns :

The Double-faced Creed.

I hold for sound faith What England's church allows,

What Rome's faith saith My conscience disavows,

Where the king's head The flock can take no shame

The flock's misled Who hold the Pope supreme.

Where the altar's dressed The worship's scarce divine

The people's blessed, Whose table's bread and wine,

He's but an ass Who their communion flies

Who shuns the mass Is catholic and wise.

We find in another work the foregoing lines
rendered into a kind of monkish Latin; thus
lending an artful aid to the cause of anarchy :

i. Pro fide teneo sana

3. Quae docet Anglicana
2. Affirmat quae Romana

4. Videntur mihi vana

5. Supremus quando rex est

7. Turn plebs est fortunata

6. Seductus ille grex est

8. Cui Papa imperator.

9. Altare cum ornatur

1 1. Communio fit inanis
10. Populus turn beatur

1 2. Cum mensa, vinum, panis,

13. Asini nomen meruit

15. Hunc morem qui non capit

14. Missam qui deseruit

16. Catholicus est et sapit.

JESUITICAL VERSES.

145

These Equivocal Verses are mostly all of the
same nature, and the next seems to have been
composed during the Revolution period :

" I love with all my heart
The Hanoverian part
And for the Settlement
My conscience giv.es consent
Most righteous in the cause
To fight for George's laws
It is my mind and heart
Though none will take my part

The Tory party here
Most hateful do appear
I ever have denied
To be on James's side
To fight for such a king
Will England's ruin bring
In this opinion I
Resolve to live and die."

The promulgation of the new constitution at the
first French Revolution gave birth to the next
Equivocal lines :

" The newly-made law
From my soul I abhor
My faith to prove good
I maintain the old code
May God give you peace
Forsaken Noblesse
May He ever confound
The Assembly all round

'Tis my wish to esteem

The ancient regime

I maintain the new code

Is opposed to'all good

Messieurs Democrats

To the Devil go hence

All the Aristocrats

Are the sole men of sense."

At the beginning of the Civil War in the
United States, the following curious production
appeared in one of the newspapers, professedly
arranged to suit all parties. The first column is
the Secession, the second the Abolition Platform,
read across it is the Democratic Platform, thus
also representing the whole Union : .

146

JESUITICAL VERSES.

The Platform.

Hurrah for

Secession

We fight for

The Confederacy

We love

The rebellion

We glory in

Separation

We fight not for

Reconstruction

We must succeed

The Union

We love not

We never said

We want

Foreign intervention

We cherish

The stars and bars

We venerate

Southern chivalry

Death to

Abe Lincoln

Down with

Law and order

The old Union

Is a curse

The Constitution

Is a league with hell

Free speech

Is treason

A free press

Will not be tolerated

The negro's freedom

Must be obtained

At every hazard

We love

The negro

Let the Union slide

The Union as it was

Is played out

The old flag

Is a flaunting lie

The habeas corpus

Is hateful

Jeff Davis

Is'nt the Government

Mob law

Shall triumph.

►

The next is not political, but is a curious speci-
men of Equivocal Versification which may be
read in several ways:

JESUITICAL VERSES.

147

Address to my Sweetheart.

Your face,

So fair,
First bent,

Mine eye,

Mine eye,

To like,
Your face,

Doth lead,

Your face,

With beams,
Doth blind,

Mine eye,

Mine eye,
With life,

Your face,
Doth feed,

O face !

With frowns,
Wrong not,

Mine eye,

This eye,
Shall joy,

Your face,
To serve,

your tongue,
so sweet,
then drew,
mine ear,

mine ear,
to learn,
your tongue,
doth teach,

your tongue,
with sound,
doth charm,
mine ear,

mine ear,
with hope,
your tongue,
doth feast,

O tongue !
with check,
vex not,
mine ear,

this ear,
shall bend,
your tongue
to trust,

your wit,
so sharp,
then hit
my heart.

mine heart,
to love,
your wit,
doth move.

your wit,
with art,
doth rule
mine heart.

mine heart,
with skill,
your wit,
doth fill

O wit!

with smart,
wound not
mine heart.

this heart,
shall swear,
your wit
to fear."

Amongst various other ingenious contrivances
^adopted by the proprietors of the rosoglio houses

148

JESUITICAL VERSES.

(Anglice, dram-shops) in Valetta, to attract the
custom and patronage of the gallant red-jackets
that occasionally swarm the streets, one individual
distributed among the soldiers the following puzzle.
A little study will suffice to master the mysterious
document.

The Invitation.

Here's to Pand's Pea DASOCI.
Alhou Rinha ? R. M. (Les Smirt)
Ha ! N. D. F. Unlet frl Ends.
HIPRE! ign. Beju ! Standk.
Indan ! Devil's Peako ! F. N.
(One.)

We conclude with a " Panegyric on the Ladies,"
which may be read in two ways, giving totally
different meanings, and we leave the reader to find
out these for himself, premising that it is not at all
difficult, after the examples already given.

" That man must lead a happy life

Who's free from matrimonial chains,
Who is directed by a wife
Is sure to suffer for his pains.

Adam could find no solid peace
When Eve was given for a mate ;

JESUITICAL VERSES. 149

Until he saw a woman's face
Adam was in a happy state.

In all the female race appear

Hypocrisy, deceit, and pride ;
Truth, darling of a heart sincere,

In woman never did reside.

What tongue is able to unfold
The failings that in woman dwell ;

The worth in woman we behold
Is almost imperceptible.

Confusion take the man, I say,
Who changes from his singleness,

Who will not yield to woman's sway,
Is sure of earthly blessedness."

( ISO )

*

MONOSYLLABIC VERSE.

NE of the most curious foibles of eighteenth
century poets was their dislike to mono-
syllables in their verses — a dislike strik-
ingly antagonistic to the opinion entertained by
poets of an earlier age. In the estimation of those
of more modern days, however, monosyllables occa-
sionally add to the force and rhythm of a passage.
Pope, in speaking of their use, rather contemp-
tuously exclaims in the " Dunciad : "

" And ten low words creep on in one dull line."

Churchill afterwards, in the " Rosciad," where he
censures Mossop, the actor, hints also at something
of this nature :

" With studied impropriety of speech,
He soars beyond the hackney'd critic's reach ;
To epithets allots emphatic state,
Whilst principals, ungraced, like lackeys wait ;
In ways first trodden by himself excels,
And stands alone in indeclinables ;

MONOSYLLABIC VERSE. 151

Conjunction, preposition, adverb, join

To stamp new vigour on the nervous line ;

In monosyllables his thunders roll,

He, she, it, and we, ye, they, affright the soul."

Rogers and Moore thought somewhat more
highly than either Pope or Churchill regarding this
feature in poetry, and Lord Russell's "Life of
Moore" records a conversation between Crowe
(author of a book on the " Structure of English
Verse "), Rogers, and Moore on the use of mono-
syllables, and phrases like "He jests at scars,"
" Sigh on my lip/' " Give all thou canst," and many
others, were referred to as most musical and vigo-
rous. In the works of Moore himself there is a very
fine specimen of the effective use of monosyllables,
in a passage which occurs in the Fire-Worshippers
in " Lalla Rookh "—

" I knew, I knew it could not last —
'Twas bright, 'twas heavenly, but 'tis past !
Oh ! ever thus, from childhood's hour, t

I've seen my fondest hopes decay ;
I never loved a tree or flower

But 'twas the first to fade away.
I never nursed a dear gazelle

To glad me with its soft black eye,
But when it came to know me well,

And love me, it was sure to die !

152 MONOSYLLABIC VERSE.

Now, too — the joy most like divine

Of all I ever dreamt or knew,
To see thee, hear thee, call thee mine, —

Oh misery ! must I lose that too ?
Yet go ! On peril's brink we meet ;

Those frightful rocks — that treach'rous sea —
No, never come again — though sweet,

Though Heaven, it may be death to thee!"

»

This passage contains 126 words, no of which
are monosyllables.

The readers of "John Halifax, Gentleman," will
easily recollect how highly Miss Muloch speaks in
that work regarding the brothers Fletcher and their
poetry. In the little-known poem of Phineas
Fletcher (died about 1650) entitled "The Purple
Island" — a work which, though grotesque and
prolix, is smoothly versified, and has rich descrip-
tive and moral passages — there is this fine specimen
of monosyllabic and alliterative power in Canto
I. stanza 7 :

" New light new love, new love new life hath bred ;
A life that lives by love, and loves by light ;
A love to Him to whom all loves are wed ;

A light to whom the sun is darkest night :
Eye's light, heart's love, soul's only life He is ;
Life, soul, love, heart, light, eye, and all are His ;
He eye, light, heart, love, soul; He all my joy and
Miss."

MONOSYLLABIC VERSE. 153

Of the seventy words contained in this verse
only two are of more than one syllable. Giles
Fletcher, as well as his brother Phineas, furnishes
numerous examples of monosyllabic versification,
and one specimen is selected from him also, quoted
from " Christ's Victory and Triumph in Heaven
and Earth over and after Death/' a work which,
though somewhat affected, rises occasionally into
lofty imaginative poetry :

" Love is the blossom where there blows
Everything that lives or grows ;
Love doth make the Heav'ns to move,
And the Sun doth burn in love :
Love the strong and weak doth yoke,
And makes the ivy climb the oak ;
Under whose shadows lions wild,
Soften'd by love, grow tame and mild.

Love no med'cine can appease,
He burns the fishes in the seas ;
Not all the skill his wounds can stench,
Not all the sea his fire can quench :
Love did make the bloody spear,
Once a leafy coat to wear."

From these two brothers many similar instances
might be given, but to proceed to poets better
known, we give two quotations from the " saintly "
George Herbert :

154 MONOSYLLABIC VERSE.

Virtue.

Sweet Day, so cool, so calm, so bright,
The bridal of the earth and sky,
The dew shall weep thy fall to-night ;

For thou must die.

Sweet Rose, whose hue angry and brave,
Bids the rash gazer wipe his eye,
Thy root is ever in the grave,

And thou must die.

Sweet Spring, full of sweet days and roses,
A box where sweets compacted lie,
My music shows ye have your closes,

And all must die.

Only a sweet and virtuous soul,
Like season'd timber, never gives ;
But though the whole world turn to coal,

Then chiefly lives.

The Call.

Come, my Way, my Truth, my Life ;
Such a Way, as gives us breath :
Such a Truth, as ends all strife :
Such a Life, as killeth death.

Come, my Light, my Feast, my Strength ;
Such a Light, as shows a feast :
Such a Feast, as mends in length :
Such a Strength, as makes his guest

Come, my Joy, my Love, my Heart ;
Such a Joy, as none can move :

MONOSYLLABIC VERSE. 155

Such a Love, as none can part :
Such a Heart, as joys in love.

Herbert's poems are full of similar passages.
Shakespeare gives an instance which shows that
the abrupt and broken language of passion is
generally monosyllabic, as in " King John," when
the widowed Constance says :

" Thou may'st, thou shalt ; I will not go with thee :
I will instruct my sorrows to be proud ;
For grief is proud, and makes his owner stout
To me, and to the state of my great grief,
Let kings assemble ; for my griefs so great,
That no supporter but the huge firm earth
Can hold it up : here I and sorrow sit ;
Here is my throne, bid kings come bow to it."

In this there are only six words of more than
one syllable.

In the Library of the British Museum there is a
tract of great rarity, from which Shakespeare is
said to have borrowed the plot of " As You Like
It." The tract is entitled "Euphue's Golden
Legacy/' by Thomas Lodge, a poet of the Eliza-
bethan age, who was also the author of a variety
of valuable productions both in prose and verse.
Ellis, in his " Specimens of Early English Poets,"
gives three of Lodge's poems from the " Pleasant

i$6 MONOSYLLABIC VERSE.

Historie of Glaucus and Scilla," but has omitted to
mention the following madrigal, the most beautiful,
perhaps, of all Lodge's compositions, and it is
given here as an excellent illustration of mono-
syllabic verse, few words of more than one syllable
appearing in it.

Madrigal.

Love in my bosom, like a bee,

Doth sucke his sweete ;
Now with his wings he plays with me,

Now with his feete.

Within mine eyes he makes his nest,
His bed amid my tender breast ;
My kisses are his daily feast,
And yet he robs me of my rest.

Strike I my lute — he tunes the string,
He music plays, if I do sing ;
He lends me every living thing,
Yet cruel he my heart doth sting.

What, if I beat the wanton boy

With many a rod,
He will repay me with annoy,

Because a god.

Then sit thou safely on my knee,
And let thy bower my bosom be ;

Cupid ! so thou pity me,

1 will not wish to part from thee.

MONOSYLLABIC VERSE. 157

Coleridge considered that the most beautiful
verse, and also the most sublime, in the Bible was
that in the book of Ezekiel which says — "And He
said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live?
And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest."
Here are seventeen monosyllables, and only three
words of two syllables.

The author of the " Night Thoughts," also, in a
very impressive passage, says —

" The bell strikes one. We take no note of time
Save by its loss ; to give it then a tongue
Was wise in man."

The following lines of Hall, satirising the vanity
of those who take pleasure in adding house to
house and field to field, —

" Fond fool, six feet shall serve for all thy store,
And he that cares for most shall find no more " —

gave occasion for the historian Gibbon's apprecia-
tive remark, " What harmonious monosylfables ! "

( i5» )

NONSENSE VERSE, &c.

|HE French had at one time a favourite and
ingenious kind of versification called
Amphigourie, or Nonsense Verse. The
word is derived from two Greek words signifying
about and circle^ and the object was to give verses
the appearance of good sense and fine poetry,
while in reality meaning nothing whatever ! The
primary example given is richly-rhymed, elegantly
expressed, but actual nonsense ! It is taken from
Disraeli's " Curiosities of Literature."

Amphigourie.

Qu'il est heureux de se dtfendre
Quand le cceur ne s'est pas rendu !
Mais qu'il est ficheux de se rendre
Quand le bonheur est suspendu !
Par un discours sans suite et tendre,
£garez un cceur eperdu ;
Souvent par un mal-entendu
L'amant adroit se fait entendre.

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 159

IMITATED.

How happy' to defend our heart,
When Love has never thrown a dart !
But ah ! unhappy when it bends,
If pleasure her soft bliss suspends !
Sweet in a wild disordered strain,
A lost and wandering heart to gain,
Oft in mistaken language wooed
The skilful lover's understood.

The preceding was sung by the celebrated
Madame Tencin one evening to Fontenelle, and
they bore such a resemblance to meaning that
Fontenelle requested they should be repeated.
" Do you not perceive," said the witty authoress,
"that they are nonsense?" "Ah," replied the
poet, sarcastically, " they are so much like the fine
verses I have heard here, that it is not surprising I
should be for once mistaken ! "

Pope furnishes the best English specimen of this
kind of poetry — the " Song by a Person of Quality,"
and it is believed to have been written to ridicule
certain namby-pamby poets of his day. The
lines are as follow :

Song, by a Person of Quality.

Fluttering spread thy purple pinions,
Gentle Cupid, o'er my heart,

160 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC.

I a slave in thy dominions,
Nature must give way to art.

Mild Arcadians, ever blooming,
Nightly nodding o'er your flocks,

See my weary days consuming,
All beneath yon flowery rocks.

Thus the Cyprian goddess weeping,
Mourned Adonis, darling youth :

Him the boar, in silence creeping,
Gored with unrelenting tooth.

Cynthia, tune harmonious numbers ;

Fair Discretion, tune the lyre ;
Soothe my ever-waking slumbers ;

Bright Apollo, lend thy choir.

Gloomy Pluto, king of terrors,
Armed in adamantine chains,

Lead me to the crystal mirrors,
Watering soft Elysian plains.

Mournful Cypress, verdant willow,
Gilding my Aurelia's brows,

Morpheus, hovering o'er my pillow,
Hear me pay my dying vows.

Melancholy, smooth Maeander,
Swiftly purling in a round,

On thy margin lovers wander
With thy flowery chaplets crowned.

Thus when Philomela, drooping,
Softly seeks her silent mate,

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 161

So the bird of Juno stooping;
Melody resigns to fate.

Gilbert Wakefield, Pope's talented commentator,
actually misapprehended the nature of the above
composition, and wrote some pages of his Com-
mentary to support his assertion that the poem
was disjointed and obscure ! *

Examples of true Nonsense Verse are not
numerous, but we find the following two in the
pages of " Fun."

A Chronicle. .

Once — but no matter when —
There lived — no matter where —

A man, whose name — but then
I need not that declare.

He — well, he had been born,

And so he was alive ;
His age — I details scorn —

Was somethingty and five.

He lived — how many years

I truly can't decide ;
But this one fact appears

He lived — until he died.

" He died," I have averred,
But cannot prove 'twas so,

* This song, though generally attributed to Pope, is believed by
some to have been the work of Swift, and it appears in some editions
of his works. ( Vide Pickering's, 3 vols. 1833.)

162 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC.

But that he was interred,
At any rate, I know.

I fancy he'd a son,

I hear he had a wife :
Perhaps he'd more than one,

I know not, on my life !

But whether he was rich,
Or whether he was poor,

Or neither — both — or which,
I cannot say, I'm sure.

I can't recall his name,

Or what he used to do :
But then — well, such is fame !

'Twill so serve me and you.

And that is why I thus,
About this unknown man

Would fain create a fuss,
To rescue, if I can,

From dark oblivion's blow,

Some record of his lot :
But, ah ! I do not know

Who — where — when — why — or what

MORAL.

In this brief pedigree
A moral we should find —

But what it ought to be
Has quite escaped my mind !

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 163

Lines by a Medium
/// communication with the late Z. Murray.

I might not, if I could ;

I should not, if I might ;
Yet if I should I would,

And, shoulding, I should quite !

I must not, yet I may ;

I can, and still I must ;
But ah ! I cannot— nay,

To must I may not, just !

I shall, although I will,

But be it understood,
If I may, can, shall — still

I might, could, would, or should !

Some authors, however, write Nonsense Verses
without intending it — as, for instance, Stonihurst,
in his translation of Virgil, rendered a really sub-
lime passage into the followingextraordinary lines :

" Then did he make Heaven's vault to rebound
With rounce robble bobble,
Of ruffee raffe roaring,
With thicke thwacke thurly bouncing."

The following curious verse is said to have been
on a gravestone at one time in the churchyard
of Homersfield, Suffolk, over the body of Rob^tt

164 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC.

m

Crytoft, who died November 17, 18 10, and it is
very like nonsense :

Myself.

As I walked by myself I talked to myself,

And thus myself said to me,
Look to thyself and take care of thyself,

For nobody cares for thee.
So I turned to myself, and I answered myself,

In the self-same reverie,
Look to myself or look not to myself,

The self-same thing will it be.

One of Theodore Hook's witty associates, the
Rev. Edward Cannon, wrote the following piece
of unparalleled nonsense :

Impromptu.

If down his throat a man should choose

In fun, to jump or slide,
He'd scrape his shoes against his teeth,

Nor dirt his own inside.

Or if his teeth were lost and gone,
And not a stump to scrape upon,
He'd see at once how very pat,
His tongue lay there, by way of mat,
And he would wipe his feet on that!

There are strung together here a variety of curious
nonsensical pieces, not in the sense of their being
Amphigouries, but because they deserve a place

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 165

for their excellence in some ludicrous point or
feature. The first is credited to Alfred Crowquil :

To My Nose.

Knows he, who never took a pinch,
Nosey ! the pleasure thence which flows ?
Knows he the titillating joy

That my nose knows ?

nose ! I am as proud of thee,
As any mountain of its snows ;

1 gaze on thee, and feel that pride

A Roman knows.

The description here given of Bridget Brady
by her lover, Thaddeus Ruddy, a bard who lived
about the middle of the seventeenth century, is
excellent :

"She's as straight as a pine on the mountain of Kilmannon ;
She's as fair as the lilies on the banks of the Shannon ;
Her breath is as sweet as the blossoms of Drumcallan,
And her breasts gently swell like the waves of Lough Allan ;
Her eyes are as mild as the dews of Dunsany,
Her veins are as pure as the blue bells of Slaney ;
Her words are as smooth as the pebbles of Terwinny,
And her hair flows adown like the streamlets of Finney."

Our life-long friend, Mr. Punch, some years ago

furnished his readers with this single-rhymed

verse :

A Word of Welcome.

A Commissioner from Pondichetr^ t&s&&& <^fc£*^-

t66 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC.

bendalcadermarecar, has arrived in Paris, bringing a lac
of rupees (125,000 francs) for the emigrants from Alsace-
Lorraine.

Come, Frenchmen, sound his fame afar,

Checkabendalcadermarecar !

Due your best words of welcome are

To Checkabendalcadermarecar !

Greet him with gittern or guitar,

Checkabendalcadermarecar !

Let his long name be ne'er a bar,

Checkabendalcadermarecar !

In brightest salons bid him star,

Checkabendalcadermarecar !

He comes to heal the wounds of war,

Checkabendalcadermarecar !

He helps to raise your funds to par,

Checkabendalcadermarecar !

So let no cloud your welcome mar

Of Checkabendalcadermarecar !

The custom of using compound words was very
prevalent in Ben Jonson's time, and he called them
" un-in-one-breath-utterable." This practice was
also common among the Sophists, and Scaliger has
an epigram satirising them as —

«(

Lofty-brow-flourishers,
Nose-in-beard-wallowers,

Bag-and-beard-nourishers,
Dish-and-all-swallowers.

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 167

Old-cloak-investitors,

Barefoot-look-fashioners,
Night-private-feast-eaters,
Craft-lucubrationers,
Youth-cheaters, word-catchers, vain-glory-osophers,
Such are your seekers-of-virtue philosophers."

The following Jingling Rhymes deserve a place
as a curiosity :

" A fly got caught, once in a web,
And soon the spider spied her.
A donkey pricked her ears and brayed,
Just to deride her rider.
Quite oft a lady, when she's vexed,
Will make a feint in fainting,
She uses it but to deceive, —
As she does paint in painting.
If you will eat too much, 'tis plain,
You sure will grow, sir, grosser :
If you persist in drinking rum,
'Twill paint your nose, sir, know, sir !
To sober keep, I signed the pledge —
My sole design in signing ;
Some men throw all their cash away,
But I spend mine in mining.
I must confess I love the weed,
And when I choose, sir, chew, sir.
I don't play cards — I find that I,
When I play loo, sir, lose, sir.
Although I'm tempted to transgress,
Each day instead, I stead eye,

1 63 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC.

Forswear gay pleasure's blandishments — '

Turn from the ready 'red eye.'

I can't play billiards — when I miss

I don't accuse a cue, sir.

If you can play a better game

111 take a view of you, sir.

Some rhymes may more mellifluent sound,

But you can't meet a metre

Will puzzle you much more than this,

Though quite as sweet or sweeter."

There appears to be no end to the vagaries and
nonsensical notions of poets, and the next ex-
amples are from the- other side of the Atlantic —
the first being a hit at the curious names of Ameri-
can rivers, which, though with features in nature
frequently excelling those of Europe in beauty and
sublimity, yet have been named in the New World
in a most unfortunate manner. Witness Bigmuddy
River and Littlemuddy River, Little Shallow River,
Good Woman River, Little Woman River, Blowing
Fly Creek, and many others to the same tune.
When the western parts of the United States shall
have a full quota of civilised inhabitants, cities,
scholars, and poets, how sweetly shall such names
sound in their verse !

" Ye plains where sweet Bigmuddy rolls along,
And Teapot, one day to be famed in song ;

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 169

Where swans on Biscuit and on Grandstone glide,

And willows wave on Good Woman's side ;

How shall your happy streams in after time,

Tune the soft lay and fill the sonorous rhyme !

Blest bards, who in your amorous verse will call

On murmuring Pork and gentle Cannon Ball,

Split Rock, and Stick Lodge, and Two Thousand Mile,

White Lime, and Cupboard, and Bad Humoured Isle !

Flow, Little Shallow, flow, and be thy stream

Their great example as 'twill be their theme !

Isis with Rum and Onion must not vie,

Cam shall resign the palm to Blowing Fly,

And Thames and Tagus yield to Big Little Dry ! "

Lines to Miss Florence Huntingdon.
(Passamaquoddy, Maine.)

Sweet maiden of Passamaquoddy,
Shall we seek for communion of souls

Where the deep Mississippi meanders,
Or the distant Saskatchewan rolls ?

Ah no, — for in Maine I will find thee

A sweetly sequestrated nook,
Where the far-winding Skoodoowabskooksis

Conjoins with the Skoodoowabskook.

There wander two beautiful rivers,

With many a winding and crook ;
The one is the Skoodoowabskooksis,

The other — the Skoodoowabskook.

Ah, sweetest of haunts ! though unmentioned
In geography, atlas, or book,

170 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC.

How fair is the Skoodoowabskooksis,
When joining the Skoodoowabskook !

Our cot shall be close by the waters
Within that sequestrated nook —

Reflected in Skoodoowabskooksis,
And mirrored in Skoodoowabskook.

You shall sleep to the music of leaflets,
By zephyrs in wantonness shook,

And dream of the Skoodoowabskooksis,
And, perhaps, of the Skoodoowabskook.

When awaked by the hens and the roosters,
Each morn, you shall joyously look

On the junction of Skoodoowabskooksis,
With the soft gliding Skoodoowabskook.

Your food shall be fish from the waters,
Drawn forth on the point of a hook,

From murmuring Skoodoowabskooksis,
Or wandering Skoodoowabskook !

You shall quaff the most sparkling of water,
Drawn forth from a silvery brook

Which flows to the Skoodoowabskooksis,
And then to the Skoodoowabskook !

And you shall preside at the banquet,
And /will wait on thee as cook ;

And we'll talk of the Skoodoowabskooksis,
And sing of the Skoodoowabskook !

Let others sing loudly of Saco,
^ O/Quoddy, and Tattamagouche,

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 171

Of Kennebeccasis, and Quaco,
Of Merigonishe, and Buctouche,

Of Nashwaak, and Magaguadavique,

Or Memmerimammericook,—
There's none like the Skoodoowabskooksis,

Excepting the Skoodoowabskook !

Autumn Days.
{Manufactured by Peleg Wale's Machine!)

The melancholy days have come,

The saddest of the year ;
Gone are the partridge and the plum,

The falling leaves are sere ;
The partridge now forgets to drum,

The squirrel to uprear
His merry tail, the brooks are glum :

The angels disappear ;
The crow pursues the vagrant crumb,

Too grateful for the cheer ;
The top has ceased its summer hum,

The kites are out of gear ;
O'er mother Earth a fierce autumn

Inverts its icy spear.
Each morning some imbibe their rum,

And some absorb their beer ;
Young soldiers mumble " fi-fo-fum,"

To drive away their fear.
Blithe, happy, joyous school-girls thrum

Pianos far and near,

172 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC.

Or eat the cake of Sally Lunn,

Or Clara Vere de Vere ;
While others go to chewing gum,

Or check the truant tear.
A blind young man did once calum-

Niate his precious dear,
And railed, instead of being mum,

Because he did not see her.
Another man got deaf and dumb

Because he could not hear ;
But when with cold his feet got numb,

He turned in his career,
And danced a polka on his thumb,

And walked off on his ear.

{Something broken ^ plumb,
in the V queer,
machine ! ) tum-ti-tum •

K-ch-k-r-r-r-r-r-r-e-er !

A Dr. Fitzgerald at one time wrote a poem upon
his native village of Tipperary, in which occur these
two lines —

" And thou ! dear village, loveliest of the clime,
Fain would I name thee, but I scant in rhyme."

t)r. Fitzgerald's failure to find a rhyme for
Tipperary drew forth the following curious com-
position :

" A poet there was in sad quandary,
To find a rhyme for Tipperary.

NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 173

Long laboured he through January,
Yet found no rhyme for Tipperary ;
Toiled every day in February,
But toiled in vain for Tipperary ;
Searched Hebrew text and commentary,
But searched in vain for Tipperary ;
Bored all his friends in Inverary,
To find a rhyme for Tipperary ;
Implored the aid of ' Paddy Cary/
Yet still no rhyme for Tipperary ;
He next besought his mother Mary
To tell him rhyme for Tipperary ;
But she, good woman, was no fairy,
Nor witch, — though born in Tipperary ;
Knew everything about her dairy,
But not the rhyme for Tipperary ;
The stubborn muse he could not vary,
For still the lines would run contrary
Whene'er he thought on Tipperary.
And though of time he was not chary,
'Twas thrown away on Tipperary.
Till of his wild-goose chase most weary,
He vowed he'd leave out Tipperary.
But, no — the theme he might not vary,
His longing was not temporary,
To find meet rhyme for Tipperary.
He sought among the gay and airy,
He pestered all the military.
Committed many a strange vagary,
Bewitched, it seemed, by Tipperary.
He wrote, post-haste, to Darby Leary,
Besought with tears his Aunty Sairie \

174 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC.

But sought he far, or sought he near, he

Ne'er found a rhyme for Tipperary.

He travelled sad through Cork and Kerry,

He drove like mad through sweet Dunleary,

Kicked up a precious tantar-ara,

But found no rhyme for Tipperary ;

Lived fourteen weeks at Stan-ar-ara,

Was well-nigh lost in Glenfegary,

Then started slick for Demerara,

In search of rhyme for Tipperary.

Through Yankee-land, sick, solitary,

He roamed by forest, lake, and prairie,

He went per terram et per mare,

But found no rhyme for Tipperary.

Through orient climes on dromedary,

On earners back through great Sahara ;

His travels were extraordinary

In search of rhyme for Tipperary.

Fierce as a gorgon or chimsera,

Fierce as Alecto or Megsera,

Fiercer than e'er a love-sick bear, he

Ranged through the * londe ' of Tipperary.

His cheeks grew thin and wondrous hairy,

His visage long, his aspect * eerie,'

His tout ensemble, faith, would scare ye,

Amidst the wilds of Tipperary.

Becoming hypochon-dri-ary,

He sent for his apothecary,

Who ordered 'balm' and 'saponary,'

Herbs rare to find in Tipperary.

In his potations ever wary,

His choicest drink was ' home gooseberry.'

1 NONSENSE VERSE, ETC. 175

On swipes, skim-milk, and smallest beer, he

Scanted rhyme for his Tipperary.

Had he imbibed good old Madeira,

Drank pottle-dccp of golden sherry,

Of Falstaffs sack, or ripe Canary,

No rhyme had lacked for Tipperary.

Or had his tastes been literary,

He might have found extemporary

Without the aid of dictionary,

Some fitting rhyme for Tipperary.

Or had he been an antiquary,

Burnt midnight oil in his library,

Or been of temper less ' camstary,'

Rhymes had not lacked for Tipperary.

He paced about his aviary,

Blew up, sky-high, his secretary,

And then in wrath and anger sware he,

There was no rhyme for Tipperary."

( 176 )

CENTONES OR MOSAICS.

CENTO is properly a piece of patchwork,
and hence the term has been applied to
poems composed of selected verses or
passages from an author, or from different authors,
strung together in such a way as to present an
entirely new reading. This trick of verse-manu-
facture was a favourite pastime in the Middle
Ages, and popular among the Romans during the
declining years of the Empire. Of the earliest of
these were the " Homero-Centones," a patchwork
of lines from Homer (edited by Teucher at Leipsic,
1793), the " Cento Nuptialis" of Ausonius, and the
" Cento Virgilianus " of Proba Falconia in the fourth
century. Another early Cento was one of spiritual
hymns made up from lines in the works of Horace
and Virgil by a monk named Metillus in the twelfth
century. The Cento of Proba Falconia is also
selected from the works of Virgil, and contains the
history oi Adam and Eve, together with a life of

CENTONES OR MOSAICS. 177

our Saviour. The authoress was the wife of a
Roman proconsul, and belonged to the Anician
family, one of the first in the senatorial rank to
embrace the doctrines of Christianity in the days of
Constantine. A brief notice of this lady will be
found in the 31st chapter of Gibbon's " Decline and
Fall of the Roman Empire." A passage from this
Cento by Proba Falcon ia may be given :

EXPULSIO ADAMI ET EViE de Paradiso.

At juveni primlim saevus circumstetit horror,
DiriguSre oculi, nee se celare tenebris
Amplius, aut notas audire et reddere voces.
Haud mora festinant jussi, rapidisque feruntur
Passibus, et pariter gressi per opaca viarura,
Corripiunt spatium medium, limenque relinquunt,
Flentes, et paribus curis vestigia figunt.
Tunc victum in sylvis baccas, lapidosaque corna
Dant rami, et vulsis pascunt radicibus herbal

The second part of Proba's work concludes with

the following verse :

Christus ascendit ad Ccelos.

His demfcm exactis, spirantes dimovet auras
Aera per tenuem, cceloque invectus aperto,
Mortales visus medio in sermone reliquit,
Infert se septus nebula (mirabile dictu)
Atque ilium solio stellantis regia cceli
Accipit, aeternumque tenet per saecula nomen.

Those desirous of further information regardixv^

178 CENTONES OR MOSAICS.

the work of Proba Falconia and of various others
who "wrote" poems of this class in Latin, may
consult a French work entitled " Tableau de la

•

Litterature du Centon," by Octave Delepierre (2
vols., Triibner & Co., 1875). In that work there is
also mention of a Latin Cento by the Scottish
poet, Alexander Ross (1590-1654), who wrote a
number of works, most of which are entirely for-
gotten. His Cento was called " Virgilius Evange-
lizans," being a life of Christ, taken wholly from
the works of Virgil; but Ross is perhaps best
remembered by the lines in Butler's " Hudibras " :

" There was an ancient sage philosopher,
And he had read Alexander Ross over."

What appears to be the earliest English Cento was
communicated by Dodsley to his friend Berenger,
as the composition of one of the members of a
society which met annually to celebrate the birth of
Shakespeare.

On the Birthday of Shakespeare.

(A Cento taken from his Works.)

Peace to this meeting,
Joy and fair time, health and good wishes.
Now, worthy friends, the cause why we are met,
Is in celebration of the day that gave

CENTONES OR MOSAICS. 179

Immortal Shakespeare to this favoured isle,

The most replenished sweet work of Nature

Which from the prime creation e'er she framed.

O thou, divinest Nature \ how thyself thou blazon'st

In this thy son ! formed in thy prodigality

To hold thy mirror up, and give the time

Its very form and pressure ! When he speaks,

Each aged ear plays truant at his tales,

And younger hearings are quite ravished ;

So voluble is his discourse. Gentle

As zephyr blowing underneath the violet,

Not wagging its sweet head — yet as rough

His noble blood enchafed, as the rude wind,

That by the top doth take the mountain pine,

And make him stoop to the vale. 'Tis wonderful

That an invisible instinct should frame him

To loyalty, unlearned ; honour, untaught ;

Civility, not seen in others ; knowledge,

That wildly grows in him, but yields a crop

As if it had been sown. What a piece of work !

How noble in faculty ! infinite in reason !

A combination and a form indeed,

Where every god did seem to set his seal.

Heaven has him now ! Yet let our idolatrous fancy

Still sanctify his relics ; and this day

Stand aye distinguished in the kalendar

To the last syllable of recorded time :

For if we take him but for all in all,

We ne'er shall look upon his like again.

English poems of this class are very scarce, and
the exceeding difficulty of their production ^\V\A^.

180 CENTONES OR MOSAICS.

evident from the examples which follow. " Life "
is said to have occupied a year s laborious search
among the voluminous writings of thirty-eight
leading poets of the past and present times. The
compilation first appeared in the " San Francisco
Times," and was the work of Mrs. H. A. Deming.
The numbers prefixed to the lines refer to the
authors from whom they are taken, their names
being given at the end:

LIFE.

i. Why all this toil for triumphs of an hour ?

2. Life's a short summer, man a flower.

3. By turns we catch the vital breath and die —

4. The cradle and the tomb, alas ! so nigh.

5. To be, is better far than not to be,

6. Though all man's life may seen a tragedy ;

7. But light cares speak when mighty griefs are dumb,

8. The bottom is but shallow whence they come.

9. Your fate is but the common lot of all :

10. Unmingled joys here to no man befall,

11. Nature to each allots his proper sphere ;

12. Fortune makes folly her peculiar care ;

13. Custom does often reason overrule,

14. And throw a cruel sunshine on a fool.

1 5. Live well ; how long or short, permit to Heaven ;

16. They who forgive most, shall be most forgiven.

17. Sin may be clasped so close that we cannot see its face —

18. Vile intercourse where virtue has no place.

19. Then keep each passion down, however dear ;
20. Thou pendulum bewixt a smile and tear.

CENTONES OR MOSAICS. 181

21. Her sensual snares, let faithless pleasures lay,

22. With craft and skill, to ruin and betray ;

23. Soar not too high to fall, but stoop to rise,

24. We masters grow of all that we despise.

25. Oh, then, I renounce that impious self-esteem ;

26. Riches have wings, and grandeur is a dream.

27. Think not ambition wise because 'tis brave,

28. The paths of glory lead but to the grave.

29. What is ambition ? — 'tis a glorious cheat . —

30. Only destructive to the brave and great.

31. What's all the gaudy glitter of a crown ?

32. The way to bliss lies not on beds of down.

33. How long we live, not years but actions tell ;

34. That mantlives twice who lives the first life well.

35. Make, then, while yet we may, your God your friend,

36. Whom Christians worship yet not comprehend.

37. The trust that's given guard, and to yourself be just ;

38. For, live we how we can, yet die we must.

I. Young ; 2. Dr. Johnson ; 3. Pope ; 4. Prior ; 5. Sewel ; 6.
Spenser ; 7. Daniell ; 8. Sir Walter Raleigh ; 9. Longfellow ; 10.
Southwell; 11. Congreve; 12. Churchill; 13. Rochester; 14.
Armstrong ; 15. Milton ; 16. Bailey ; 17. Trench ; 18. Somerville ;
19. Thomson; 20. Byron; 21. Smollett; 22. Crabbe; 23.
Massinger ; 24. Cowley ; 25. Beattie ; 26. Cowper ; 27. Sir
Walter Davenant; 28. Gray; 29. Willis; 3a Addison; 31.
Dryden ; 32. Francis Quarles ; 33. Watkins ; 34. Herrick ; 35.
William Mason ; 36. Hill ; 37. Dana ; 38. Shakespeare.

The next Mosaic poem appeared some years ago
in Notes and Queries, in a communication signed
James Monk, and is entitled —

The Poets' "Essay on Man."

1. What strange infatuation rules mankind,

2. What different spheres to human bliss assigned \

182 CENTONES OR MOSAICS.

3. To loftier things your finer pulses burn,

4. If man would but his finer nature learn ;

5. What several ways men to their calling have,

6. And grasp at life though sinking to the grave.

7. Ask what is human life ? the sage replies,

8. Wealth, pomp, and honour are but empty toys ;

9. We trudge, we travel, but from pain to pain,

10. Weak, timid landsmen, on life's stormy main ;

1 1. We only toil who are the first of things,

1 2. From labour health, from health contentment springs.

13. Fame runs before us as the morning star,

14. How little do we know that which we are ;

15. Let none then here his certain knowledge boast,

16. Of fleeting joys too certain to be lost ;

1 7. For over all there hangs a cloud of fear,

1 8. All is but change and separation here.

19. To smooth life's passage o'er its stormy way,

20. Sum up at night what thou hast done by day ;

21. Be rich in patience if thou in gudes be poor ;

22. So many men do stoope to sight unsure ;

23. Choose out the man to* virtue best inclined,

24. Throw envy, folly, prejudice behind ;

25. Defer not till to-morrow to be wise,

26. Wealth heaped on wealth, nor truth, nor safety buys;

27. Remembrance worketh with her busy train.

28. Care draws on care, woe comforts woe again ;

29. On high estates huge heaps of care attend,

30. No joy so great but runneth to an end ;

31. No hand applaud what honour shuns to hear,

32. Who casts off shame, should likewise cast off fear ;

CENTONES OR MOSAICS. 183

33. Grief haunts us down the precipice of years.

34. Virtue alone no dissolution fears ;

35. Time loosely spent will not again be won,

36. What shall I do to be for ever known ?

37. But now the wane of life comes darkly on,

38. After a thousand mazes overgone ;

39. In this brief state of trouble and unrest,

40. Man never is, but always to be blest

41. Time is the present hour, the past is fled,

42. O thou Futurity, our hope and dread.

43. How fading are the joys we dote upon,

44. Lo ! while I speak the present moment's gone.

45. O Thou Eternal Arbiter of things,

46. How awful is the hour when conscience stings !

47. Conscience, stern arbiter in every breast,

48. The fluttering wish on wing that will not rest.

49. This above all, — To thine own self be true,

50. Learn to live well, that thou may'st die so too.

5 1 . To those that list the world's gay scenes I leave,

52. Some ills we wish for, when we wish to live.

I. Chatterton 5 2. Rogers ; 3. Sprague ; 4. Dana ; 5. Ben Jonson
6. Falconer ; 7. Cowper ; 8. Ferguson ; 9. Quarles ; 10. Burns

II. Tennyson ; 12. Beattie ; 13. Dryden ; 14. Byron ; 15. Pomfret
16. Waller; 17. Hood; 18. Steele; 19. Dwight; 20. Herbert
21. Dunbar; 22. Whitney; 23. Rowe ; 24. Langhorne; 25
Congreve ; 26. Dr. Johnson ; 27. Goldsmith ; 28. Drayton ; 29
Webster ; 30. Southwell ; 31. Thomson ; 32. Sheridan Knowles
33. Landor ; 34. Edward Moore ; 35. Greene ; 36. Cowley ; 37
Joanna Baillie ; 38. Keats ; 39. B. Barton ; 40. Pope ; 41. Marsden
42. Elliot ; 43. Blair ; 44. Oldham ; 45. Akenside ; 46. Percival
47. J. A. Hillhouse; 48. Mallet; 49. Shakespeare; 50. Sir J.
Denham; 51. Spenser; 52. Young.

1 84 CENTONES OR MOSAICS.

The preceding was shortly after supplemented
by another, professedly taken from a very scarce
work called "The Lonsdale Magazine," and en-
titled

Marriage.

i. Marriage, if rightly understood,
Gives to the tender and the good,

2. The eye, where pure affection beams,
The tear, from tenderness that streams —

3. Whate'er a blooming world contains,
That wings the air, that skims the plains.

4. Go search among your idle dreams,
Your busy or your vain extremes,
And find a life of equal bliss,

Or own the next begun in this.

5. Cordial of life, thus marriage pours
Her comfort on our heavier hours.

6. The hour that rolls for ever on,
Tells us years must soon be gone —

7. Say, dost thou not at evening hour
Feel some soft and secret power
Gliding o'er thy yielding mind,

8. Nor leave one wretched thought behind ?

9. Come press my lips and lie with me,

10. From avarice and ambition free ;

11. Or say, what soft propitious hour,

I best may choose to hail thy power !

12. Plain innocence, in white arrayed,
Before us lifts her fearless head ;

CENTONES OR MOSAICS. 185

13. Whose yielding hearts and joining hands
Find blessings twisted with our bands.

14. If these delights thy mind can move,
Come live with me and be my love.

1. Cotton ; 2. Logan ; 3. Ogilvie ; 4. Parnell ; 5. Graves ; 6.
Dwight ; 7. Langhorne ; 8. Montgomery ; 9. Kirke White ; 10.
Cowper; 11. Barbauld ; 12. Thomson; 13. Watts; 14. Marlowe.

Laman Blanchard, a number of years ago, in
George Cruikshank's "Omnibus" published the
following Mosaic pieces as "poems bearing no
resemblance to anything ever before offered to the
public." They are, to all intents and purposes —
at least so far as a train of connected ideas go —
utter absurdities, and properly should be classed
as Nonsense Verses. Mr. Blanchard sarcastically
states that he found these poems among the MSS.
of one of Sir Fretful Plagiary's numerous descen-
dants, and thinks that if any reader of the verses
should be reminded of poets past and present, it
can only be because the profusely-gifted bard has
clustered together more remarkable and memor-
able lines than any of his predecessors. "That
poem," Mr. Blanchard goes on to say, "can be of
no inferior order of merit, in which Milton would
have been proud to have written one line, Pope
would have been equally vain of the authorship o£

l S6 CENTO WES OR MOSAICS.

a second, Byron have rejoiced in a third, Campbell
gloried in a fourth, Gray in a fifth, Cowper in a
sixth, and so on to the end of the Ode ; which thus
realises the poetical wealth of that well-known line
of Sir Fretful's —

6 Infinite riches in a little room.' "

Among these productions of Mr. Blanchard's were
the following three :

Ode to the Human Heart.

Blind Thamyris, and blind Maeonides,
Pursue the triumph and partake the gale !

Drop tears as fast as the Arabian trees,
To point a moral or adorn a tale.

Full many a gem of purest ray serene,
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears,

Like angels' visits, few and far between,
Deck the long vista of departed years.

Man never is, but always to be blest ;

The tenth transmitter of a foolish face,
Like Aaron's serpent, swallows up the rest,

And makes a sunshine in the shady place.

For man the hermit sighed, till woman smiled,
To waft a feather or to drown a fly,

(In wit a man, simplicity a child,)
With silent finger pointing to the sky.

CEN TONES OR MOSAICS. 187

But fools rush in where angels fear to tread,

Far out amid the melancholy main ;
As when a vulture on Imaus bred,

Dies of a rose in aromatic pain.

Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast,
Look on her face, and you'll forget them all ;

Some mute inglorious Milton here may rest,
A hero perish, or a sparrow fall.

My way of life is fallen into the sere ;

I stood in Venice on the Bridge of Sighs,
Like a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear,

Who sees through all things with his half-shut eyes.

Oh for a lodge in some vast wilderness !

Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
Fine by degrees and beautifully less,

And die ere man can say " Long live the Queen !"

Whatever is, is Right.

Lives there a man with soul so dead,
Who never to himself has said,

' Shoot folly as it flies ' ?
Oh ! more than tears of blood can tell,
Are in that word, farewell, farewell !
'Tis folly to be wise.

And what is friendship but a name,
That boils on Etna's breast of flame ?
Thus runs the world away.

i

I

I

J
k

h

I

J

t

188 CENTONES OR MOSAICS.

Sweet is the ship that's under sail
To where yon taper cheers the vale,
With hospitable ray !

Drink to me only with thine eyes
Through cloudless climes and starry skies !

My native land, good night !
Adieu, adieu, my native shore ;
Tis Greece, but living Greece no more —

Whatever is, is right !

On Life, et cetera.

Know then, this truth, enough for man to know :

Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow ;

Who would be free, themselves must strike the blow.

Retreating lightly with a lowly fear

From grave to gay, from lively to severe,

To err is human, to forgive divine,

And wretches hang that jurymen may dine

like quills upon the fretful porcupine.

All are but parts oi one stupendous whole,

The feast of reason and the flow of souL

We ne'er shall look upon his like again,

For panting time toils after him in vain,

And drags, at each remove, a lengthening chain ;

Allures to brighter worlds, and leads the way

With sweet, reluctant, amorous delay !

Another attempt at this laborious trifling ap-

CENTONES OR MOSAICS. 189

peared in the People's Friend of May 1871, evincing
great patience and research :

1. A glorious devil, large in heart and brain,

2. Doomed for a certain term to walk the night,

3. The world forsaking with a calm disdain,

4. Majestic rises on the astonished sight

5. Type of the wise who soar, but never roam, —

6. Mark how it mounts to man's imperial race !

7. High is his perch, but humble is his home,

8. Fast anchored in the deep abyss of space.

9. And oft the craggy cliff he loved to climb,

10. Where Punch and Scaramouch aloft are seen ;

1 1. Where Science mounts in radiant car sublime,

12. And twilight fairies tread the circled green.

13. And, borne aloft by the sustaining blast,

14. Whom no man fully sees, and none can see ;

15. 'Wildered and weary, sits him down at last,

16. Beneath the shelter of an aged tree.

1 7. I will not stop to tell how far he fled,

18. To view the smile of evening on the sea ;

19. He tried to smile, and, half succeeding, said,

20. ( I smell a loller in the wind/ said he.

21. * What if the lion in his rage I meet ? '

22. (The Muse interprets thus his tender thought.)

23. The scourge of Heaven ! what terrors round him

wait!

24. From planet whirled to planet more remote*

!90 CENTONES OR MOSAICS.

25. Thence higher still, by countless steps conveyed,

26. Remote from towns he ran his godly race ;

27. He lectured every youth that round him played —

28. The jostling tears ran down his honest face.

29. ' Another spring ! ' his heart exulting cries.

30. Vain are his weapons, vainer is his force ;

31. A milk-white lion of tremendous size

32. Lays him along the snows a stiffened corpse.

33. The hay-cock rises, and the frequent rake

34. Looks on the bleeding foe that made him bleed ;

35. And the green lizard and the golden snake

36. Pause at the bold irrevocable deed.

37. Will ye cne transient ray of gladness dart,

38. To bid the genial tear of pity flow ?

39. By Heaven ! I would rather coin my heart,

40. Or Mr. Miller's, commonly called Joe !

I. Tennyson ; 2. Shakespeare ; 3. Thomson ; 4. Taite ; 5. Words-
worth ; 6. Pope ; 7. Grahame ; 8. Cowper ; 9. Beattie ; 10. Rogers ;

II. Hemans ; 12. Collins; 13. Longfellow ; 14. Prior; 15. Beattie ;
16. Burns; 17. Wordsworth; 18. Hemans; 19. Crabbe ; 20.
Chancer; 21. Collins; 22. Beattie; 23. Gray; 24. Campbell;
25. Bloomfield ; 26. Rogers ; 27. Goldsmith ; 28. Burns ; 29.
Bloomfield; 30. Byron; 31. Falconer; 32. Thomson; 33. Joanna
Baillie ; 34. Byron ; 35. Shelley ; 36. Euripides ; 37. Beattie ; 38
Hemans ; 39. Shakespeare ; 40. Horace Smith.

We conclude the Centones or Mosaics with the
following, gathered from some of the most popular
poets:

CENTONES OR MOSAICS. 191

" The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
In every clime from Lapland to Japan ;
To fix one spark of beauty's heavenly ray —
The proper study of mankind is man.

Tell, for you can, what is it to be wise,

Sweet Auburn, loveliest village of the plain ;

1 The Man of Ross ! ' each lisping babe replies,
And drags, at each remove, a lengthening chain.

Ah ! who can tell how hard it is to climb,
Far as the solar walk or milky way ?

Procrastination is the thief of time,
Let Hercules himself do what he may.

'Tis education forms the common mind,
The feast of reason and the flow of soul ;

I must be cruel only to be kind,
And waft a sigh from Indus to the pole.

Syphax ! I joy to meet you thus alone,
Where'er I roam, whatever lands I see ;

A youth to fortune and to fame unknown,
In maiden meditation fancy free.

Farewell ! and wheresoe'er thy voice be tried,
Why to yon mountain turns the gazing eye,

With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side,
That teach the rustic moralist how to die.

Pity the sorrows of a poor old man,

Whose beard descending swept his aged breast ;
Laugh where we must, be candid where we can,

Man never is, but always to be blest."

( 192 )

ANAGRAMS.

N Anagram is formed by the transposition
of the component letters of a word or
phrase so as to give a new word or sen-
tence, and though anagrams may be of small value
in a literary point of view, yet they are not alto-
gether devoid of a certain degree of interest.
Originally anagrams signified simply a reversal
of the order of the letters in a word, as in live,
which when reversed becomes evil, but they have
long borne the sense in which they are now used.
Their interest is greatly enhanced when the trans-
position is such as to give an appropriate signifi-
cation or association of ideas relative to or consistent
with the original or primary word from which the
anagram has been formed, and there are words of
this description which exhibit coincidences that
are truly astonishing and almost incredible until
proved by examination. This literary frivolity
has at least the merit of antiquity, for we find that

ANAGRAMS. 193

among the ancient Jewish cabalists the art of t/ie-
murUy or transposition of the letters of words, was
used by them for the purpose of discovering hidden
meanings, and they also thought that the qualities
of a man's mind and his future destiny could be
guessed at by anagrammatising the letters of his
name. The art prevailed, too, among the Greeks
and Romans, and has continued through the
Middle Ages down to comparatively modern
times, chiefly, however, as a pastime.

The French literati have always shown a predi-
lection for anagrams, and the results of their
labours in this way would fill volumes. Indeed,
such was the estimation in which this " art " was
held by them at one period, that it is said their
kings were provided with a salaried anagrammatist
in the same way that royalty in Britain is provided
with a poet-laureate. The popularity of anagrams
in France was so great two or three centuries ago,
that a man sometimes made his fortune by framing
a single happy transposition of the name of a king
or other great person. Thus all France was de-
lighted with the anagram on Francois de Valoys,
which was converted into De /agon suis royal,
indicating him to be of regal appearance. One
French writer, Gabriel Antoine Joseph Hdcart>

^

194 ANAGRAMS.

went the length of composing and • publishing a
poem of 1 200 lines, every line of which contained
an anagram, but it so happens that out of the 1200
hardly one is worth quotation.

The anagram was also popular in Britain at an
early date, being looked upon as an agreeable and
amusing relaxation, as well as a favourable method
by which those who sought favour might flatter
the great ones whose influence they coveted. So
early as 1589 we find Puttenhame in his "Arte of
English Poesie" speaking of the anagram thus:
" They that use it for pleasure is to breed one word
out of another, not altering any letter nor the
number of them, but only transposing of the same,
whereupon many times is produced some grateful
newes or matter to them for whose pleasure and
service it was intended ; and because there is much
difficultie in it, and altogether standeth upon hap-
hazard, it is compted for a courtly conceit." Put-
tenhame himself was the author of two anagrams
on the name of Queen Elizabeth, whose portrait
adorns the original edition of his work. He uses
the following words: — "Elissabet Anglorum Re-
gina," which orthography, he contends, "is true
and not mistaken, for the letter zeta of the
Hebrews and Greeks and of all other toungs

ANAGRAMS. 195

is in truth but a double s hardly uttered ; and
h is but a note of aspiration onely and no letter,
which therefore is by the Greeks omitted." The
first anagram of these words is —

" Multa regnabis ense gloria "
(By the sword shalt thou reign in great renown).

The second —

" Multa regnabis sene gloria "
(Aged and in much glory shall ye reign).

These two the author made by the first mar-
shalling of the letters, and although he "tossed
and translaced them five hundreth times," he
could find no other having reference to her
Majesty.

Later on, we find Elizabeth's successor being
flattered by another courtly writer, who sought
favour for his book by dedicating it to King
James, and discovering in the name of his royal
patron, James Stuart, the anagram a just master.
This literary gentleman no doubt thought he had
found in this anagram what has been already
pointed to as the best feature in this kind of
writing, an appropriate signification and relation
to the original words. So also with another on
James I., by which some of his courtiers wished ^

196 ANAGRAMS.

prove his right to the British monarchy, as the
descendant of King Arthur, from his name Charles
James Stuart, which they rendered Claims Arthurs
Seat.

Anagrams were not only in use among courtiers,
however, but even the Puritans found in them a
modified worldly pastime, and some writers of
that party actually commended their use as being
of a good tendency. In New England, among
the early Puritans there, puns and conceits of a
laborious kind and uncouth fashion were much
admired, and the death of any notable person was
sure to call forth several elegies, almost certain
to contain some curious play upon the deceased's
name or other characteristic feature — thus, John
Norton, a learned divine, wrote as follows upon
the death of Anne Bradstreet : —

" Her breast was a brave palace, a broad street,
Where all heroic, ample thoughts did meet."

In a similar manner, Cotton Mather, the well-
known writer on Witchcraft, in an elegy upon
the death of the above-named John Norton, says
of him —

" His care to guide his flock and feed his lambs,
By words, works, prayers, psalms, alms, and anagrams."

ANAGRAMS. 197

Addison gives a somewhat humorous descrip-
tion of an anagrammatist, who shut himself up for
some months for the purpose of twisting the name
of his mistress into as many of these conceits as he
possibly could, but was astonished to find, after all
his mental throes, that he had misspelled her
name, and that consequently his productions were
all faulty and insufficient Some writers appear
to have had a peculiar facility for composing
anagrams, as a French poet one day sent his
mistress no less than three dozen of them, all
written on her name of Magdelaine. These con-
ceits, however, were as frequently sarcastic as
complimentary; and thus, though Scaliger may
have felt the palpable hit in having his name
rendered into sacrilege, Sir John Wiat would
enjoy the anagram as a compliment which said
that Wiat was a wit — this latter being a very
simple example. The ingenious writer who dis-
covered in Pilate's question, " Quid est Veritas ? "
(What is truth?) its own answer, "Est vir qui
adest" (It is the man who is here), found one of
the best and neatest anagrams which has yet been
written. Of those reckoned among the best of
these literary trifles are the one upon the mistress
of Charles IX. of France, Marie Touched Ie

198 ANAGRAMS.

charme tout (I charm all) ; and another upon a
lady named Eleanor Davies, who belonged to the
court of Charles L, and pretended to supernatural
and prophetic powers. To substantiate this claim
on her part, she anagrammatised her name,
Eleanor Davies, into Reveal, O Daniel! and this,
though faulty in regard to having too much by
a letter /, and too little by an s, was sufficient
in her mind to justify the assumption. Arraigned
before the Court of High Commission, the judges
found that reasoning had no effect upon her — all
attempts to disprove by Scripture her claims to
inspiration being of no avail — till at length one of
the deans took a pen and wrote another and more
excellent anagram upon her name — Dame Eleanor
Davies : Never so mad a ladie ! This had the
desired effect — the engineer being hoist with his
own petard — and put the prophetic lady into so
despondent a state, that she never afterwards
put forth a claim to supernatural gifts.

Authors long ago were occasionally given to

" Torture one poor word a thousand ways,"

as Dryden says, especially with a view to conceal
their authorship from the critics, and thus we find
the names of several anagrammatised — for instance,

ANAGRAMS. 199

Calvinus into Alcuinus, and Rabelais spitefully
turned Calvin into jan cul, somewhat equivalent to
the English jackass ; friends of Calvin, however,
adopted other fashions, as Lucanius and Lttcianns.
John Taylor, the "Water Poet," turned his into
Thorny Ailo ; and Bunyan, in the conclusion of
the "advertisement" to the " Holy War," has these
two lines —

" Witness my name, if anagram'd to thee,
The letters make, l Nu hony in a B. y "

One half the disguises adopted by French
anonymous writers are in the shape of anagrams
formed from their names, and with some of our
own modern authors we find among them that
Sydney Dobell used his first name and anagram-
matised it for a second, thus — Sydney Yendys.
So with Barry Cornwall, poet, which is, with the
omission of the letter r, a version of his real name*
Bryan Waller Proctor.

An old Latin book has this written upon the fly-
leaf—

Andreas Rivetus.

Veritas res nuda,
Sed naturi es vir,
Vir naturi sedes,
E naturi es rudis^

200 ANAGRAMS.

Sed es vit& rarus,
Sed rure vanitas,
In terri su& Deus,
Veni, sudas terra.

Taylor's "Suddaine Turne of Fortune's Wheel"
contains this —

" Supremus Pontifex Romanus,
O non sum super petr am fixus"

The first line is " Supreme Pontiff of Rome ; " and
the second, "Alas! I am not founded upon a
rock."

There are several anagrams upon King Charles
II., of which we select the following, — the first
being also by Taylor : —

" Charles Stetfart,
Calls true hearts.
Brave prince, thy name, thy fame, thy selfe, and all,
With love and service all true hearts doth call ;
So royally include with princely parts,
Thy reall virtues alwaies calls true hearts"

The negotiations relative to the match between

Charles and the Infanta of Spain (1624) led to

this —

" Charles, Prince of Wales,

Will choose France's pearl"

While Charle5 Peacham's " Compleat Gentleman "
contains —

ANAGRAMS. 201

" Charles, Prince of Wales,
All France cries, help us !

On a visit to Newton Hall in Derbyshire, Charles
II. is said himself to have written on one of the
windows — Cras ero lux (To-morrow I shall be
light), the anagram of Carolus Rex. The next
was found written upon a fly-leaf of an old book
at Cologne, bearing the date of 1653, supposed to
have belonged at one time to one of the English
who accompanied Charles II. in his exile —

" Carolus Stuartus, Angliae, Scotiae, et Hiberniae Rex —
Auld, siatfiy regno exueris, ac hostili arte necaberis"

One Mistress Mary Fage, who lived in the time of
Charles L, was perhaps the most prolific anagram-
matist England ever produced. She published
a volume of anagrams combined with acrostics
under the title of " Fame's Rowle" (Roll), in which
the names of many notable persons in the three
kingdoms were dealt with, to the number of no less
than four hundred and twenty. One may serve as
a specimen of the rest —

" To the Right Hon. John Earl of Weymes.

John Weymes.
Shew men joy.
In your great honour, free from all alloy,
O truly noble Weymes, you s^ 4 ™ men 3°3 % *

202 ANAGRAMS.

having your virtues in their clearer sight,
iVbthing there is can breed them more delight.

With joy your wisdome, so doth men contente ;
isver we pray it might be permanent ;
Four virtuous life doth breed so great delight ;
Men wish you endless joy you to requite ;
internal joy may unto you succeede,
.Shewing men joy who do your comfort breede."

Randle Holmes, who wrote an extraordinary
book upon Heraldry, was complimented by an
expressive anagram on his name —

" Lo, men's herald I "

In the "Bengal Mofussil Miscellany," repub-
lished in London in 1837 as "Indian Reminis-
cences," there is the following curious anecdote : —
"When young Stanislaus, afterwards King of
Poland, returned home from his travels, all the
illustrious family of Leczinki assembled at Lissa
to congratulate him on his arrival. Festivals,
shows, rejoicings of every kind took place ; but
the most ingenious compliment that graced the
occasion was one paid by the College of Lissa.
There appeared on the stage thirteen dancers,
dressed as youthful warriors; each held in his
hand a shield, on which was engraved in char-
acters of gold one of the thirteen letters which

ANAGRAMS. 203

compose the two words c Domus Lescinia.' They
then commenced their dance, and so arranged it
that at each turn their row of bucklers formed
different anagrams. At the first pause they
presented them in the natural order —

At the second
At the third
At the fourth
At the fifth
At the last

" Domus Lescinia
Ades Incolumis
Omnis es lucida
Mane Sidus loci
Sis columna Dei
I, scande Solium."

The following may be accepted as an approach to
the different renderings : —

O (heir to the) House of Lescinius,
Thou art present with us still unimpaired —
Thou art all that is wonderful
Stay with us, O sun of our land !
. Thou art one of God's supporters —
Come, ascend thy regal throne.

Ben Jonson, in a u Masque," has this anagram
on the name of Juno —

"And see where Juno, whose great name
Is Unto in the anagram,
Displays her glistening state and chaire,
As she enlightened all the ayre."

Throughout the masque there is a continual ^Wj

204 ANAGRAMS.

upon the words Union and Juno y as relating to
marriage.

In one of Taylor's poems, " The Life and Death
of Virgin Mary," there are these lines —

" I doe not heere impute this deede of shame
On Judas, because Judas was his name :
For of that name there have been men of might
Who the great battles of the Lord did fight,
And others more. But sure this impure blot
Stickes to him, as he's named Iskarriott ;
For in an anagram Iskarriott is,*
By letters transposition, Traitor kis."

Iskarriott) anag. Traitor kis.

Kisse, traytor, kisse, with an intent to kill,
And cry all haile ! when thou dost mean all ill ;
And for thy fault no more shall Judas be
A name of treason and false infamie ;
But all that fault I'll on Iskarriott throw,
Because the anagram explains it so.
Iskarriott for a bribe, and with a kisse,
Betrayed his Master, the blest King of Blisse."

All men have their enemies, and Taylor had his —
amongst these there was one who took a pitiful
way of showing his dislike by twisting Taylor's
name in this fashion —

" John Talour the poet,
Art thou in Bet, O poet ? "

ANAGRAMS. 205

One Car was an intimate and loving friend of
the poet Crawshavve, and on the poet's death Car
found some consolation in discovering that Craw-
shawe could be transposed into the words, He was
Car, and wrote the following lines accordingly —

11 Was Car then Crawshawe, or was Crawshawe Car,

Since both within one name combined are ?

Yes, Car's Crawshawe, he Car ; 'tis love alone

Which melts two hearts, of both composing one ;

So Crawshawe's still the same — so much desired

By strongest wits, so honoured, so admired ;

Car was but he that entered as a friend,

With whom he shared his thoughts, and did commend

(While yet he lived) this work ; they loved each other :

Sweet Crawshawe was his friend ; he Crawshawe's brother :

So Car had title then ; 'twas his intent

That what his riches penned poor Car should print ;

Nor fears he check, praising that happy one

Who was beloved by all, dispraised by none.

To wit, being pleased with all things, he pleased all ;

Nor would he give nor take offence ; befall

What might, he would possess himself, and live

As dead (devoid of all int'rest) t'all might give

Disease t'his well-composed mind, forestalled

With heavenly riches, which had wholly called

His thoughts from earth, to live above in th' air,

A very bird of Paradise. No care

Had he of earthly trash. What might suffice

To fit his soul to heavenly exercise

Sufficed him ; and, may we guess his heart

By what his lips bring forth, Vus ot^ ^ax\

206 ANAGRAMS.

Is God and godly thoughts. Leaves doubt to none

But that to whom one God is all, all's one.

What he might eat or wear he took no thought,

His needful food he rather found than sought.

He seeks no downs, no sheets, his bed's still made

If he can find a chair or stool, he's laid ;

When day peeps in, he quits his restless rest,

And still, poor soul, before he's up he's drest.

Thus dying did he live, yet lived to die

In the Virgin's lap, to whom he did apply

His virgin thoughts and words, and thence wast styled

By foes, the chaplain of the Virgin mild,

While yet he lived without : his modesty

Imparted this to some, and they to me.

Live happy then, dear soul ; enjoy thy rest

Eternally by pains thou purchasedst,

While Car must live in care, who was thy friend ;

Nor cares he how he live, so in the end

He may enjoy his dearest Lord and thee,

And sit and sing more skilful songs eternally. "

George Herbert gives several anagrams, among
which is the following : —

" Mary
Army
How well her name an Army doth present,
In whom the Lord of Hosts did pitch His tent ! "

The Latin language furnishes a number of
anagrams, among which the one subjoined is a
good example —

ANAGRAMS. 207

4 Roma dabit oram, Maro,
Ramo, armo, mora, et amor.
Roma tuum nomen quam non pertransiit Oram

Cum Latium ferrent saecula prisca jugum ?
Non deerat vel fama tibi, vel carmina famae,

Unde Maro laudes duxit ad astra tuas.
At nunc exsucco similis tua gloria Ramo

A veteri trunco et nobilitate cadit.
Laus antiqua et honor perierunt, te velut Armo

Jam deturbarunt tempora longa suo.
Quin tibi jam desperatae Mora nulla medetur ;

Qua Fabio quondam sub duce nata salus.
Hinc te olim gentes miratae odere vicissim ;

Et cum sublata laude recidit Amor"

Cleaveland's Works contain the next —

Definition of a Protector.

What's a Protector ? He's a stately thing,

That apes it in the non-age of a king.

A tragic actor — Caesar in a clown,

He's a brass farthing stamped with a crown.

A bladder blown, with other breaths puffed full,

Not the Pertllusy but Perillus Bull.

^sop's proud ass, veil'd in the lion's skin,

An outward saint lined with a devil within.

An echo whence the royal sound doth come,

But just as barrel-head sounds like a drum.

Fantastic image of the royal head,

The Brewers' with the king's arms quartered ;

He is a counterfeited piece, that shows

Charles his effegies with a copper nose.

208 ANAGRAMS.

In fine, he's one we must Protector call,
From whom the King of kings protect us all.
Protector = O Porttt, C. R.

Tombstones occasionally in former times gave
instances of anagrams, as it was not an uncommon
belief that a person's character and fortune were
hidden in his name. Of this kind are the two
following examples. At Ashby Canons, North-
ampton, there is one of the date of 1639, on

Sarai Grime,
Is marriage.

A virgin's death, we say, her marriage is,
Spectators viewe as pregnant proofe in this ;
Her suitor's Christ, to Him her troth she plights,
Being both agreed, then to the nuptial's rites.
Virtue's her tire, prudence her wedding ring,
Angels the bridesmen in the heavenly quire ;
Her joynture's blisse, what more could she desire ?
Noe wonder hence soe soon she sped away,
Her husband call'd, she must not make delay.
Not dead, but married shee, her progenye,
The stem of grace, that lives eternally."

The second of these obituary anagrams is to be
found at Bletchley, dated 1657, on —

Mrs. Faieth Walker
Walke by Faith.

Well did thy life, word, anagram agree,
To will and walke aright was all to thee.

A KA GRAMS. 209

Thy tender years were gracious ; all thy life
Was virtuous, while a virgin, when a wife ;
Here thou didst walke by faith, but now above
By light with Him thy soul did dearly love.
A happy change, thy life now full of blisse,
Thy Christ thy Husband, Heaven thy jointure is.

The assassin of Henry III. of France had his
name rendered in this way —

" Frfere Jacques Clement,
Cest Venfer qui m'a crSS.

LL if

The celebrated Holy Alliance was thus traves-
tied —

" La Sainte Alliance,

La Sainte Canaille"

Dr. Burney has the credit of the following ex-
cellent anagram, written on receipt of the news
of the victory of the Nile : —

" Horatio Nelson,
Honor est a IVilo"

The words, " Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Welling-
ton," have been transposed into Let well-foil'd
Gaul sekure thy r(e)nown — an imperfect but not
inappropriate example. One on the lamented
Princess Charlotte wa& thought to be particularly
happy — the words, " Princess Charlotte Augusta
of Wales," were transposed into P. C. Her august

210 ANAGRAMS,

race is lost, fatal news ! The following is very
apt : —

" When / cry that 1 sin is transposed, it is clear,
My resource, Christianity, soon will appear."

The celebrated Dr. Abernethy, as much remem-
bered perhaps for his eccentricity and brusqueness
as for his skill, had his name of John Abernethy
turned into Johnny the Bear. The annexed is an
excellent instance of this laborious trifling : —

A Telegram Anagrammatised.

Though but a late germ, with a wondrous elation,

Yet like a great elm it o'ershadows each station,

Et malgrd the office is still a large fee mart,

So joyous the crowd was, you'd thought it a. glee mart;

But they raged at no news from the nations belligerent,

And I said, Let 'm rage, since the air is refrigerant.

I then met large numbers, whose drink was not sherbet,

Who scarce could look up when their eyes the gas-glare met;

So when I had learned from commercial adviser,

That mere gait for sand was the great fertiliser,

I bade Mr, Eaglet, although 'twas ideal,

Get some from the clay-pit, and so get *m real;

Then, just as my footstep was leaving the portal,

I met an elm targe on a great Highland mortal,

With the maid he had wooed by the loch's flowery margelet^

And rowed in his boat, which for rhyme's sake call bargetet,

And blithe to the breeze would have set the sail daily,

But it blew at that rate which our sailors term gale, aye ;

I stumbled against the fair bride he had married,

When a merle gat at large from a cage that she carried ;

ANAGRAMS. 211

She gave a loud screech ! and I could not well blame her,

But lame as I was, I'd no wish to get lamer;

So I made my escape — ne'er an antelope fleeter,

Lest my verse, like the poet, should limp through lag metre.

The following appeared in an Edinburgh news-
paper some years ago : —

The Lent Oars.

Illustrating Fifty different Renderings of the Letters
composing the Word " Monastery."

I am a boatman on the Lago Maggiore, but, fool that
I am, I lent my oars to the Monks of St. Thomas's, who
used to cross the lake in their own boat, and who, on
my inquiring about them, vowed they never had got
them. I spoke to the mayor of the canton, who trans-
mitted a letter my dear Mary had written, and promised
he would send for an answer himself. Having waited
for some time rather impatiently, I set off to the monas-
tery to inquire if the mayor sent or not for the answer to
Mary's note about my ten oars. The abbot had gone on
a visit to the adjoining convent, and I was informed that
the letter was sent there, and they thought it likely my
oars were there too. I went thither, and on gaining
admission, I inquired if the answer had been sent for.
"Ay, monster/' said she, "though ten mayors had sent
they would not have got one." "Come, come, no
mastery over me ; may no rest be mine here or hereafter
if I do not have my oars ! Yes, matron, there is one St.
Mary to whom I shall pray for interference." "See
your stone Mary there," said she, pointing to an taco^

212 ANAGRAMS.

of the blessed Virgin set in the walL I prostrated my-
self before it, saying, " O my one star, my Mary ! look
down on my tears, and try means to get me back my
oars. May my soul, which has met no rays of thine for
long, store many favours now. Oh ! Mary, do so try,
amen" On rising I was astounded on hearing the
matron exclaim, " My ! treason ! " Woman though she
was, I could have smitten her to the ground, for here
came the abbot angrily and anxiously inquiring, " What
treason ? " Taking me for a French spy, he approached
cautiously, but seeing as yet no arms about me, he grew
bolder, and caused me to be searched for army notes or
papers. Though he found nothing, I could scarce
prevail upon him to grant a truce or amnesty till I could
explain my errand. " Ay, no terms with the villain," said
he, threatening to tan my sore hide for me. I remon-
strated, " Stay, Ermon, be not hasty ; I trump you no
mean story in showing you this ; " and here I showed him
my torn, seamy coat, as evidence that no government
had favoured me with a degree in money arts. " Yet
/tomans," said he, " call Rome nasty, and I was suspicious
you were one of that kind." " No, my senator, I am
nothing great, but I am not so bad as that" I was glad
to get off without further mentioning my oars, and so
left the place.

I was terribly vexed, however, at the way affairs had
turned out, so that I could not help telling my care to
an old woman I met not far off, and whom I knew.
" Do you see yon stream on this side of the lake?" said
I ; " many tears have I shed there ; I never refused to
lend an oar when asked, but no one sent my oar back,
till now I have lost them all." "Dear me, that's

ANAGRAMS. 213

scandalous ; take a rest on my bundle for a short time ;
I am sure I saw Tom N. Sayer with some of them, and
I'll just run over and see." I did as she said, and had
not long to wait for her return. " Ye ran most nimbly,
but how sped you ? " At no great rate, my son ; he has
some, but he ran away." " Ran away ! " I exclaimed.
" Yes, Tom ran, though I told him you meant to say no
term of payment for the bother you had been put to."
" May he rot — yes, man, rot — for his roguery ; by all the
bloody heroes, from Mars to Ney, were I a tailor I would
try no seam till I found him ; and then — . But I am no
tailor, I am but a boatman ; so I see no way to make up
my loss but by laying a little on my rates of passage or
smuggling a trifle of Mbrnfs tea" " If a tear, my son,
would avail thee anything, I would shed plenty ; but you
may rest on my doing what I can for you, so neither
hinder nor stay meywsX now, as I must away." "Good-
bye," said I ; " but may Old Davy tar my nose for me if
I don't watch that chap. Fine way for a poor tar's money
to go, always buying oars. Yes, Tom, I'll be down smart
on ye some of these days."

Thoroughly disgusted, I turned my toes, ran swiftly
home, and vowed myself a snore at my ease, unless my
mentor say me nay.

We conclude with the following selection of these
conceits : —

Florence Nightingale, Penitentiary, French Revolution,

Flit on, cheering angel. Nay, I repent it, Violence run forth.

Revolution, Presbyterian, Masquerade,

Love to ruin. Best in prayer. Queer as Mad.

Parliament, Midshipman, Sweetheart,

Partial men. Mind his map. There we saL

?I4

ANAGRAMS.

Catalogues,
Got as a clue.
Lawyers,
Sly ware.
Punishment,
Nine thumps.
Old England,
Golden land.

Paradise lost,
Reap sad toils.
Paradise regained,
Dead respire again.
Telegraph,
Great help.
Astronomers,
Moon starers.

Parishioners,
I hire parsons.
Democratical,
Comical trade.
Gallantries,
All great sin.
Impatient,
Tim in a pet.

( 215 )

THE PALINDROME.

jALINDROMIC, or Reciprocal Verses (Gr.
palitty backwards; dromos, a running) is
the name given to verses which read the
same either backwards or forwards. They are the
most difficult of all the literary frivolities we have
yet met with — their composition requiring con-
siderable skill and invention, yet having no useful
purpose. The English language is not very well
adapted for this kind of Jump-Jim-Crowism, and
only a few examples are to be met with ; it is more
common, however, in Latin and Greek, and there
are a number in these languages. There is, indeed,
a curious and rare volume in Greek of this nature,
being a poem by "Ambrose Hieromonachus
Pamperes, with Scholia and all the Histories
contained in it; being of great use to those
who study it deeply. Now first published, 1802,
at Vienna in Austria, at the Greek printing press
of George Bendotes." This work consists of one

216 THE PALINDROME.

hundred and sixty pages, the first eight containing
the dedication to the Emperor of All the Russias,
Alexander I. There is also an Introduction,
giving directions how the book is to be read,
also an epigram praising the Greek writers,
affirming that in all of them will be found wisdom.
Then comes the poem itself, consisting of 416
verses, and an equal number of scholia on these
verses — each verse being explained by a com-
mentary, introducing notices of great men, kings,
poets, mythological characters, and others. The
arrangement of the words is of course frequently
forced, the allusions obscure, and the sense difficult
to discover, but they are by no means what are
called nonsense verses, for by close attention, and
with the aid of the notes, every one of them may
be construed. The poem, each line of which is a
complete palindrome, commences thus —

"Onax es o, ethete te Theos ex ano,"

signifying —

" O King, who was thus placed by God from above."

This poem by Pamperes was written on the words
the Empress Catherine uttered when some of her
chief officers were put to death, and her troops
destroyed by the Poles. On hearing the unex-

THE PALINDROME. 217

pected news she was in the deepest grief and could
not rest. She immediately called together her
counsellors, and began her speech —

"Rypara, anomata, ata mona, ara pyr," &c.

" How cruel, mean, and unlawful are these things that
I have heard. How full of impiety is this unexpected
and unlawful loss. Nothing else is required for revenge
except fire," &c.

Of the few palindromes in the English language,
one represents our first parent introducing himself
to Eve in these words —

" Madam, I'm Adam."

Taylor, the Water Poet, made several attempts at
constructing palindromes, but could arrive at
nothing better than —

" Lewd did I live, & evil did I dwel "—

not altogether perfect, however, inasmuch as if the
last word was properly written, the reciprocity
would fail. Something similar is this other —

" Live was I ere I saw evil."

Another English one has reference to Napoleon,
who is supposed to say —

"Able was I ere I saw Elba."

218 THE PALINDROME.

These last two are very complete, as each word
remains intact, which in palindromic verses is not
always the case — the component letters frequently
running into different words in the reverse reading.
The following Latin example preserves this kind
of completeness : —

" Sator arepo tenet opera rotas."

There are a number of names which are palin-
dromic in the English language, and it is some-
what curious that they are mostly feminine, as —
Eve, Anna, Hannah, Ada, Madam, and others.
The following enigma is founded on like words : —

" First find out a word that doth silence proclaim,
And backwards and forwards is always the same ;
Then, next, you must find out a feminine name,
That backwards and forwards is always the same ;
An act, or writing, or parchment, whose name
Both backwards and forwards is always the same ;
A fruit that is rare, whose botanical name
Read backwards and forwards is always the same ;
A note used in music, which time doth proclaim,
And backwards and forwards is always the same ;
The initials or terminals equally frame
A title that's due to the fair married dame,
Which backwards and forwards is always the same."

The words sought for are — Mum, Anna, Deed,
Anana, Minim, whose initials and endings equally

THE PALINDROME. 219

form Madam, "the title that's due to the fair
married dame."
A Roman lawyer chose this for his motto —

" Si nummi immunis " —

which has been freely translated —

" Give me my fee, and I warrant you free."

A Latin elegiac verse gives in every line a com-
plete palindrome: —

"Salta, tu levis es ; summus se si velut Atlas,

(Omina ne sinimus,) suminis es animo.
Sin, oro, caret arcand cratera coronis

Unam areas, animes semina sacra manu.
Angere regnato, mutatum, o tangere regna,

Sana tero, tauris si ruat oret anas :
Milo subi rivis, summus si viribus olim,

Muta sedes ; animal lamina sede satum.
Tangeret, i videas, illisae divite regnat ;

Aut atros ubinam manibus orta tua !
O tu casurus, rem non mersurus acuto

Telo, sis-ne, tenet ? non tenet ensis, olet."

In the time of Queen Elizabeth, a lady who had
been forbidden to appear at court on account of
some suspicions against her, the truth of which
she denied, took for the device on her seal, the
moon, partly obscured, with the motto —

\

220 THE PALINDROME.

" Ablata at alba."
{Retired but pure.)

The following is supposed to be written to a young
man detained at Rome on a love affair, and is
founded upon an older and unproducible verse,
which gave a dreadful picture of the state of
morals at Rome in ancient times : —

" Roma, ibi tibi sedes— ibi tibi Amor ;
Rorni etsi te terret et iste Amor,
Ibi etsi vis te non esse — sed es ibi,
Roma te tenet et Amor."

Thus rendered into English —

" At Rome you live — at Rome you love ;
From Rome that love may you affright,
Although you'd leave — you never move,
For love and Rome both bar your flight. "

The older and unproducible verse referred to as
the origin of the preceding example, was the work
of Sotades, a Roman poet who lived 250 years B.C.,
and has the credit of having invented this kind of
literary folly. Sotades having degraded his muse
by devoting his verse to obscenity, Sotadea Car-
tnina became the general name for verse of that
character. The few of his lines which are cited by
Quintilian are well known.

THE PALINDROME. 221

In various churches in the East this line is to be
seen engraved on baptismal fonts —

" N/%ov dvofifjfia, fit) fifaat 8%h "
" Wash away my sins, not my face only."

There is one which is applied to the "Witches'
Sabbath," which runs thus —

" In girum imus noctu, non ut consumimur igni " —

" We go round in a circle at night, not to be consumed by fire."

The following surrounds a figure of the sun in
the mosaic pavement at Sa Maria del Fiori at
Florence : —

t: En giro torte sol ciclos et rotor igne."

Camden gives us this example —

" Odo tenet mulum, madidam mappam tenet Anna.
Anna tenet mappam, madidam, mulum tenet Odo."

The following, in which the words only read back-
wards, is said to express, in the first form, the
sentiments of a Roman Catholic : —

" Patrum dicta probo, nee sacris belligerabo ; "

read backwards, we have the sentiments of a
Protestant : —

" Belligerabo sacris, nee probo dicta patrum."

222 THE PALINDROME.

Another of this kind is one which refers to the
sacrifice of Abel —

u

Sacrum pingue dabo, nee macrum sacrificabo ;

and in the second way is applicable to that of
Cain :

i<

Sacrificabo macrum nee dabo pingue sacrum."

The following Latin verse also affords two opposite

meanings :-

u

Prospicimus modo, quod durabunt tempore longo
Fcedera, nee patriae pax cito diffugiet."

u Diffugiet cito pax patriae, nee fcedera longo
Tempore durabunt, quod modo prospicimus."

Another Latin poem of about sixty lines begins in
this way —

" Sumere tironem si vis, me norit eremus :
Jurem non animo nomina non menu.

Aspice : nam raro mittet timor arma, nee ipsa
Si se mente reget, non tegeret Nemesis.

Me turn animat recte, me dem, et certamina mutem,
Si res ana velit utile, vanus eris."

A German example runs —

" Bei Leid lieh stets Heil die Lieb"
(In trouble, comfort is lent by love.)

Those which follow are also good examples —

THE PALINDROME. 223

" Si bene te tua laus taxat sua lautfe tenebis."
" Acide me malo, sed non desola me, medica."

Mr. H. Campkin some years ago sent the following
piece to " Notes and Queries," and stated that it
was written to please a youthful group, and ?
though nonsensical enough, the lines serve to show
that the English language is capable of being
twisted into uncouth ways if any one will take the
trouble : —

" One winter's eve around the fire, a cosy group, we sat,
\ Engaged, as was our custom old, in after-dinner chat :
Small talk it was, no doubt, because the smaller folk were there,
And they, the young monopolists ! absorbed the lion's share.
Conundrums, riddles, rebuses, cross-questions, puns atrocious,
Taxed all their ingenuity, till Peter the precocious —
Old head on shoulders juvenile — cried, 'Now for a new task,
Let's try our hand at Palindromes 1 ' ' Agreed ! But first,' we ask,
' Pray, Peter, what are Palindromes ? The forward imp replied,
' A Palindrome's a string of words, of sense or meaning void,
Which reads both ways the same ; and here, with your permission,
I'll cite some half-a-score of samples, lacking all precision,
( But held together by loose rhymes) to test my definition ! '

A milksop jilted by his lass, or wandering in his wits,
Might murmur, Stiff, O dairyman, in a myriad of fits !
A limner, by photography dead beat in competition,
Thus grumbled : No, it is opposed, art sees trade* s opposition I
A nonsense-loving nephew might his soldier uncle dun,
With Now stop, Major-general, are negro jam pots won /
A supercilious grocer, if inclined that way, might snub
A child with, But Ragusa store 9 babe, rots a sugar tub I
Thy sceptre, Alexander, is a fortress, cried Hephaestion :
Great A. said, No, it's a bar of gold, a bad log for a bastion I

224 THE PALINDROME.

A timid creature fearing rodents — mice, and such small fry —

Stop, Syrian, I start at rats in airy spots, might cry.

A simple soul, whose wants are few, might say with hearty rest,

Desserts I desire not, so long no lost one rise distressed.

A stern Canadian parent might — in earnest, not in fun —

Exclaim, No sot nor Ottawa law at Toronto, son !

A crazy dentist might declare, as something strange or new,

That Paget saw an Irish tooth, sir, in a waste-gap ! True !

A surly student, hating sweets, might answer with elan,

Name tarts, no, medieval slave, I demonstrate man f

He who in Nature's bitters findeth sweet food every day,

Eureka / till I pull up ill I lake rue, well might say."

There is an old legendary story that his Satanic
Majesty was an adept at this kind of versification,
and the subjoined account of one of his attempts
is taken from Hone's "Every-day Book." "St.
Martin having given up the profession of a soldier,
and being elected Bishop of Tours, when prelates
neither kept horses, carriages, nor servants, had
occasion to go to Rome to consult His Holiness
upon some important ecclesiastical matter. As he
was walking gently along the road he met the
devil, who politely accosted him, and ventured
to observe how fatiguing and indecorous it was to
perform so long a journey on foot, like the com-
monest of cockle-shell chaperoned .pilgrims. The
saint knew well the drift of Old Nick's address,
and commanded him to become immediately a
beast of burden or jumentum ; which the devil did

THE PALINDROME. 225

in a twinkling, by assuming the shape of a mule.
The saint jumped upon the fiend's back, who at
first trotted cheerfully along, but soon slacked his
pace. The bishop of course had neither whip nor
spurs, but was possessed of a much more powerful
stimulus, for, says the legend, he made the sign
of the Cross, and the smarting devil instantly
galloped away. Soon, however, and naturally
enough, the father of sin returned to sloth and
obstinacy, and Martin hurried him again with
repeated signs of the Cross, till, twitched and
stung to the quick by those crossings so hateful to
him, the vexed and tired reprobate uttered the
following distich in a rage : —

c Signa te, signa ; temere me tangis et angis ;
Roma tibi subito motibus ibit amor.'

That is — ' Cross, cross thyself ; thou plaguest and vexest
me without necessity ; for, owing to my exertions, Rome,
the object of thy wishes, will soon be near.' "

Hardly akin to this palindromic dexterity, but
which may be mentioned here, is the attempt to
construct a verse which shall contain the whole of

226 THE PALINDROME.

the letters in the alphabet. The English version
of the Bible has one passage which does this, with
the exception of the letter /(Ezra vii. 21); and
here are four lines as an example —

" God gives the grazing ox his meat,
And quickly hears the sheep's low cry,
But man, who tastes His finest wheat,
Should joy to lift His praises high."

The greater feat, however, would be to have a line
containing all the letters, but these only occurring
once. The late Professor De Morgan frequently
relieved the severity of his mathematical studies
by composing puzzles of this kind, but could make
nothing of it, till he made use of the poetical
license of employing u for v and i for j. The
result was —

" I, quartz pyx, who fling muck beds."

The professor's line encouraged others to try
something better, resulting in

" Quiz my black whigs ; export fund ; "

and another —

" Dumpy Quiz, whirl back fogs next : "
all alike having the duplication of letters — u for v 9

THE PALINDROME. 227

and i for/. De Morgan, in sending these oddities
to " Notes and Queries," decided that the nearest
approach to good sense was in the following : —

" Get nymph ; quiz sad brow ; fix luck."

< 228 )

LITERARY MISFORTUNES.

N old countryman, on the occasion of a
recent visit to a printing-office for the
first time, casually remarked to one of
the compositors that he did not understand how
they all came to be such good " spellers." Having
been told they generally considered it as easy
to spell correctly as not, and that from long
practice it was unusual to make a mistake, he
remarked further that he supposed them con-
versant with every language they might be called
upon to put in type. This fact, for it is one, is
quite reconcilable with the idea of another equally
verdant visitor — that a phonetic system of spelling
would be an advantage, where each compositor
would be left to the freedom of his own will.
Others, again, even in these enlightened times,
are so ignorant of the actual labour and various
processes required in the production of books,
that they think nothing can be easier. Instance

LITER AR Y MISFOR TUNES. 229

the old lady who called at a bookseller's shop in
the North, asking for a "big prent" Bible. After
being shown several, none of which appeared of
large enough type to satisfy her, she very coolly
remarked, "I'm gaun up the toon to buy some
bits of things, an* ye can jist pit your stampm'
aims in the fire, an' hae ane ready for me as I
come back." Poor old lady! her ignorance was
manifest enough ; but there are plenty of authors
nearly as unreasonable in their demands at the
hands of the printer — the misspelling of a proper
name, or the omission of a comma, throwing them
into a state of mental agitation, which may
perhaps beget a letter animadverting in strong
terms upon the mistake to the publisher or editor
of the work in question.

Mistakes will happen in the best works, in spite
of all the care which can be taken by the printers
in the getting-up of the books, and Dr. Hill
Burton, in his "Book-Hunter," would seem to
infer that blunders have occasionally subserved
a very important purpose. " One curious service
of printers' blunders," he says, "of a character
quite distinct from their bibliographical influence,
is their use in detecting plagiarisms. It may seem
strange that there should be any difficulty ux

I

230 LITER A R Y MISFOR TUNES.

critically determining this question, when the
plagiarism is so close as to admit of this test;
but there are pieces of very hard work in science —
tables of reference, and the like — where, if two
people go through the same work, they will come
to the same conclusion. In such cases, the prior
worker has sometimes identified his own by a
blunder, as he would a stolen china vase by a
crack. Peignot complains that some thirty or
forty pages of his € Dictionnaire Bibliographique '
were incorporated in the ' Sidcles Litt^raires de la
France/ 'avec une exactitude si admirable, qu'on
y a pr^cieusement conserve toutes les fautes typo-
graphies/ "

The printers are not always in fault, however, as
regards the origin of errors, for the author fre-
quently leads them astray by carelessly- written
"copy," both in punctuation and spelling. One
well-known American writer recommended that
all authors should work for a time in a printing-
office, as a means of reforming a diffuse style and
incorrect punctuation — compositors becoming
critically aware, in the picking up letter by letter
of a long and complex sentence, of the best means
of curtailing and strengthening sentences, and being
quick at detecting repetitions, to say nothing of the

LITERARY MISFORTUNES. 231

art of correct punctuation. It is part of the
Proof-Reader's duty to mark a note of interroga-
tion against any passage in a book preparing for
press which he does not think is right, or when a
sentence is incomplete. Authors profit by these
quiet estimates of their meaning, and many a
weak point, which might have marred a writer's
reputation, has been set right by attention being
drawn to it by the unobtrusive (?) of the Proof-
Reader. Though not exactly perfect, the Reader
generally bestows much time and patience over
his work, and the general correctness of the many
books now published evidences that their labour
is not in vain, though seldom or never is he com-
plimented for his care — freedom from censure may
be said to be the only praise he ever gets. And
what an amount of knowledge he is supposed to
possess in all departments of literature! He
should know all about the Constitutions of Claren-
don, the Statute of Provisors, Pragmatic Sanctions,
Development Theories, the Bangorian Controversy,
&c, and besides Latin and French, a knowledge of
Greek and Hebrew will not come amiss, though it
may not benefit him pecuniarily. He should be
able to tell whether the perisome in the Brisingidae
is coriaceous or not, or consists of an ectodex^ v&

I

232 LITERAR Y MISFORTUNES:

ciliated cuticle and a mesoderm of calcareous
skeletal ossicula with a ciliated epithelium — in
fact, he would require to be a walking encyclo-
paedia, a living Dictionary of Phrase and Fable !
The Reader is generally attended by a satellite,
redolent of ink and paste — the P.D. — who reads
over the author's MS. to him while he looks on
the proof and notes the errors, and this youthful
genius will supply words or travesty them in the
most ingenious and outrageous manner. We have
known of one who read off the copy, "The Leg
end of the Kid" for Legend of the Cid, and
another travestied the line — wilfully, we suspect —

" His soul was like a star, and dwelt apart,"

into the burlesque —

" His sole was like a skate, and smelt afar ! "

A third boy read "Paul's Epistle to the Cale-
donians " instead of Corinthians.

Many a good work is sadly disfigured by the
negligence of authors in correcting their proofs ;
while other writers, again, are extremely diligent
in making unnecessary alterations. Cases have
occurred where one volume has grown into two by
means of corrections, and others have had their

LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES. 233

price considerably heightened in consequence. It
is recorded that both Milton and Addison were
solicitous regarding the correction of their works
while passing through the press. Savage was
most scrupulous in correcting his proofs, and the
poet Gray would not unfrequently spend weeks
over them, revising and re-revising. The satirical
poet Churchill expressed himself rather energeti-
cally on this point, when he said " that it was like
cutting away one's own flesh ; " while Julius
Scaliger so carefully prepared his MS. that it
seldom needed correction, and the print frequently
corresponded with it page for page and line for
line. "Easy composition, but laborious cor-
recting," was Burns' own description of his work.
Ben Jonson was once requested to revise a sermon
full of typographical and other errors, but he
declined the task, and recommended that it should
be sent to the House of Correction. Burke, the
celebrated orator, was careless in regard to his
MS., and one of his effusions received so many
corrections and interlineations that the compositors
refused to correct it, but took down the types and
reset the whole. Dr. Johnson was most assiduous
over his proofs, and between the original publica-
tion of his essays in the "Rambler," and thelc

234 LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES.

collection and reprint in the form of a book, there
were thousands of alterations made.

Errors and misfortunes do not proceed only
from the many who write and publish, but the few
who occupy the highest position in the literary
world are equally to blame, chiefly owing to the
hurried way in which much of their MS. is pre-
pared for press. Good penmanship, as a branch
of education, in many cases would seem to have
been greatly neglected, and we have heard of
instances where the signature of a letter has been
so completely unintelligible as to involve the
necessity of the writer's name being cut from the
missive and gummed on to the envelope of the
answer. This may be looked upon as an extreme
case, perhaps, but that such a necessity may occa-
sionally arise is quite within the experience of
many persons whose correspondence is at all
extensive. We have seen MS. from a well-known
author which could be likened to nothing better
than the autograph of a dying spider which had
paid a surreptitious visit to an ink-bottle. Lawyers
of high standing send their MS. to the printers
with technical phrases misspelled and legal terms
abbreviated, and expect the compositor to decipher
and set it up in a readable condition. Divines of

LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES. 23$

known ability leave their "copy" without points
or even " caps " to mark the end or beginning of
sentences — thus giving much additional labour,
and causing thereby much loss of time and temper.
Were their works left in the same state as that in
which they are frequently written, no one would
attribute the fault to the author — the printer alone
would be held responsible. Some writers have
asserted, however, by way of excuse for themselves,
that printers, when they get extra-bad MS., pay
more attention to it, and that therefore there are
fewer errors in proofs from that which is ill-written
than in that which is well-written. A learned dean
— we think it was Dr. Hook — is reported to have
said -that the worse the penmanship the cleaner
the proof! The compositor may well wish to put
what Dean Alford calls a shriek (!) after that
assertion.

Carelessness in style is another cause of errors,
and often, by the misuse of pronouns, renders
what might have been intelligible enough, doubtful
and false in meaning. As an example of this kind
of obscurity, take the following sentence from a
scientific work published some years ago : — "When
we say, in astronomy, that the earth revolves round
the sun, or that the moon revolves round tb^.

236 LITER AR Y MISFOR TUNES'.

earth, we do not speak with absolute correctness,
for in all such cases both bodies are revolving
round the common centre of inertia of the two.
In the case of the sun and the earth, as the former
is a million times larger than the latter, the
common centre of the two being so much nearer
its centre than to the centre of the earth, is really
within its body or circumference." To which of
the nouns do these its apply ? One of the lead-
ing London papers on one occasion produced the
following. The " old man " of the statement is old
Mr. Fleming of Glasgow, who figured some years
ago in a noted criminal case there. " There, after
a while, during Mrs. M'Lachlan's temporary
absence, the old man murdered her with a cleaver.
He then made her swear to tell no one, and gave
her the property, that the blame might be laid
upon robbers." Having first murdered the woman
in her absence, he then makes her swear to tell no
one — very extraordinary altogether.

Before adverting to the literary misfortunes
peculiar to the newspaper press, we shall notice a
few which have occurred in books, some of which
may as fairly be attributed to the writer as to the
printer. We may premise that the similarity in
the spelling of some words, others with the differ-

LITER AR Y MISFORTUAES. 237

ence of only a letter, and the comparative resem-
blance of the written conformation of many words,
are the most fruitful causes — the mistakes often
having a fitness of themselves which, independently
of the amusement they afford, is sometimes superior
to that of mere incongruity. Thomas Moore, in
the "Fudges in England," happily hits off the
liability of printers to commit errors, when he
makes Fanny say —

" But a week or two since, in my ' Ode to the Spring,' —
Which I meant to have made a most beautiful thing, —
Where I talked of the 'dew-drops from freshly-blown roses,
The nasty things made it * freshly-blown noses ! '
And once when, to please my cross aunt, I had tried
To commem'rate some saint of her clique who had died,
Having said he ' had taken up in heaven his position/
They made it, he ' had taken up to heaven his physician !' *

Mr. H. Martin of Halifax some years ago adverted •
to an error which occurred in a communication of
his to one of the journals, and said : " Upwards of
thirty years' experience in connection with the
press has taught me to be very lenient towards
misprints. The difficulty of detecting typogra-
phical errors is much greater that the uninitiated
are inclined to believe. I have often observed
that, even if the spelling be correct, a wrong word
is very apt to remain undetected." He thea

238 LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES.

notices an instance in an edition of Shakespeare's
" Merchant of Venice," where the lines —

" Young Alcides, when he did redeem
The virgin tribute paid by howling Troy " —

were made into nonsense by the conversion of
Troy into Tory. Mr. Martin says further : "In a
short biographical notice of Pope which I compiled
for an edition of his poems, I briefly enumerated
his prose works, among which I named his
'Memoirs of a Parish Priest;' when, the proof
came before me, I found the compositor had set
it, ' Memoirs of a Paint Brush! "

To which of the two, author or compositor, are
we indebted for this vile misquotation of a line
from Burns ? —

" Now Tam, O Tam ! had they been queens / "

Queens never were plentiful in Ayrshire, but it
could turn out many a bevy of

" Queans,
A' strapping hizzies in their teens."

In a cheap edition of Burns there is this error —

" O gin my love were yon red nose ; n
-And in another edition still —

LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES. 239

" But hark ! Ill tell ye o' a plot,
Though dinna ye be speakin* o't ;
I'll nail the self-conceited Scot
As dead's a herein* ! "

There is a certain association sometimes between
the colour of a rose and a nose, and perhaps to
some people there is a similar link between a Scot
and a sot.

A book was published some years ago, in which
a modern example of public spirit and good citizen-
ship was brought into comparison with the con-
duct of Cato and Brutus. This was the end of a
paragraph, and no doubt was intended for a good
finishing effect, but unfortunately the two Roman
names were printed Cats and Brutes !

Mr. Pyecroft, in his " Ways and Words of Men
of Letters," relates the following conversation : —
'" Really/ said a printer to him, 'gentlemen should
not place such unlimited confidence in the eyesight
of our hard-worked and half-blinded reader of
proofs ; for I am ashamed to say that we utterly
ruined one poet through a ludicrous misprint/
'Indeed! And what was the unhappy line?'
' Why, sir, the poet intended to say —

" See the pale martyr in a sheet of fire ! "

240 LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES.

instead of which the line appeared —

" See the pale martyr with his shirt on fire ! "

The reviewers of course made the most of so
entertaining a blunder, and the poor poet was
never heard of more in the field of literature.' "
The same gentleman also notices another singular
error, in the passage quoted by Dr. Johnson as an
authority under the verb "to sit." "Asses are ye
that sit in judgment" (Judg. v. 10). The verse
is, " Speak ! ye that ride on white asses, ye that
sit in judgment, and walk by the way."

In Pope's notes on " Measure for Measure," he
says the story was taken from " Cinthio," dec. 8,
nov. S — meaning 8th decade and 5th novel. One
of the many emendators of Shakespeare, however,
thought fit to fill out these abbreviations, and we
therefore read December 8, November 5 ! Pope
has also been misquoted on another occasion by
some prosaic compositor, who sought to bring the
poet's idea within the limits of his own understand-
ing, thus —

" Who could take offence,
When pure description held the place of sauce ? "

instead of " the place of sense"
In one of the many Christmas books published

LITER AR Y MISFOR TUNES. 241

nowadays at that festive season, there was a
passage to the effect that, though young ladies
sometimes affected through coyness a dislike to
be kissed under the misletoe, " they did not object
to it under the nose" — which we would charitably
understand to have been meant for " under the
rose!" We forget in what Radcliffian romance
the following occurred — the passage was a vigorous
one, the scene well wrought up ; the heroine was
on the point of being sacrificed to the revenge of
the villain of the story, when opportune aid arrived
to the rescue of the fair damsel in the person of a
knight riding on a warehouse! We fancy "war-
horse " was here meant. The omission of the letter
y gave a curious turn to the following line : —

" My years flow back, I'm young again."

A monkish writer of a work published in 1561,
called the " Anatomy of the Mass," and consisting
of 172 pages of text and 15 of errata, attributed
the many mistakes in the book to the "artifices
of Satan." He "supposes that the devil, to ruin
the fruit of this work, employed two very malicious
frauds: the first before it was printed, by drench-
ing the manuscript in a kennel, and having reduced
it to a most pitiable state, rendered several parts

242 LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES.

illegible ; the second, in obliging the printers to
commit such numerous blunders, never yet equalled
in so small a work." The Bible itself has not
escaped from these misfortunes. One edition,
printed by John Basket at Oxford, is known as
the " Vinegar Bible," from the fact that the Parable
of the Vineyard is therein styled the Parable of the
Vinegar. A printer's wife in Germany, while an
edition of the Bible was printing at her house, one
night took an opportunity of stealing into the office,
to alter that sentence of subjection to her husband
pronounced upon Eve in Genesis. She took out
the first two letters of the word Herr (lord), and sub-
stituted Na in their place, thus altering the passage
from " and he shall be thy lord " {Herr) to " and he
shall be thy fool" (Narr). In a Cambridge Bible
published some years back, appears " I shall never
forgive (forget) thy precepts." John Field, a Cam-
bridge printer, published an edition of the Bible in
1653, containing a great number of errors, of which
the following is an example : — " Know ye not that
the unrighteous shall inherit the kingdom of God ? "
(1 Cor. vi. 9), for " shall not inherit." Disraeli, in
his " Curiosities," gives an account of a similar
scandalous omission of the important negative
in the Seventh Commandment. The printers

IJTERAR Y MIS FOR TUNES. 243

were summoned before the Court of High Com-
mission ; and this "not" served to bind them in a
fine of £3000. A prior circumstance had occurred
which induced the Government at that time to be
very vigilant regarding the Biblical press: the
learned Bishop Usher, going one day to preach at
St. Paul's Cross, entered a booksellers shop on his
way and procured a Bible of the London edition.
When he came to look for his text, to his astonish-
ment he discovered that the verse was altogether
omitted from the copy he had purchased.

Such errors in the Bible cannot easily occur
nowadays, as all editions are subjected to severe
scrutiny. But there are many curious discrep-
ancies between the English and Scotch Bibles,
chiefly in the spelling of various words — all the
usual marks of punctuation, however, are employed
in both, with the exception of what printers call the
" dash " ( — ), and this is not used at all either in
Old or New Testament, with one solitary excep-
tion, which the reader will find by turning to
Exodus xxxii. 32. Jeremiah xxxi. 15 in Scotch
Bibles has " Rachel weeping for her children," in
English Bibles it is " Rahel weeping." English
Bibles have caterpillar, hungred, houshold, &c,
Scotch have caterpillar, household, hung^red^ &c. %

244 LITER A R Y MISFOR TUNES.

One English Bible spells cheerful in the Old
Testament cheerful (Prov. xv. 13; Zech. viii. 19,
ix. 17, &c), while in the New Testament it is
clwrful throughout — this latter edition comes from
the well-known house of Eyre and Spottiswoode.

The similarity of the written conformation of
two letters has led occasionally to awkward mis-
takes, as the author of a temperance novel found
to his astonishment when he saw that where he
meant to say, "drunkenness is folly," it was
rendered " drunkenness is jolly ! " A very popular
authoress, speaking of her heroine as "enjoying
more indulgence than usually falls to the lot of her
sex/- wrote so illegibly that it appeared as " falls
to the lot of horses? Audubon's " Ornithology "
contains this sentence, which shows that authors
occasionally make strange slips — " The earth was
rent asunder in several places ; one or two islands
sank for ever, and the inhabitants fled in dismay
towards the eastern shores? And Bulwer some-
where says, " I hear the vain shadows glide? One
of the most curious blunders made by an author
was that of Thackeray, when collecting materials
for his "Irish Sketch Book." Driving along a
road, he saw at intervals posts set up with the
letters G. P. O. upon them. Overtaking a peasant,

LITERAR V MISFORTUNES. 245

he inquired the meaning of the initials, and was
gravely informed that they stood for "God Pre-
serve O'Connell ! w Out came the tourist's note-
book, in which a memorandum was jotted down of
the curious statement. In the first edition of the
" Sketch Book " the fact was duly mentioned ; but
it was suppressed in all subsequent issues, owing
to the tardy discovery that the letters represented
" General Post-Office," indicating that the highway
was a post-road. During the agitation some years
ago upon the Marriage Affinity Bill, a circular was
prepared by some clerical opponents of the measure
in which a curious error was passed in proof by the
whole of these gentlemen, that " a man should not
be allowed to marry the "wife of a deceased sister"
— fortunately the blunder was discovered before
the circulars were issued.

The Dean of Westminster some .years ago
presided at the anniversary of the Printers' Pension
Society, and in the course of his address, referring
to the general correctness aimed at by printers,
made the following remarks : — " He thought people
hardly knew how curious was the feeling that
arose in authors when they received back their
proof-sheets. He said a feeling of shame, because
he was sure that authors must feel how great an

246 LITER A R Y MIS FOR TUNES.

infliction they imposed on the ingenuity and on
the patience of the printer. They were always
conscious of the difficulty which was taken off
their hands by the interpretation of the printer,
who deciphered that which was committed to him ;
and he said, also amusement, because nothing
enlivened an author so much, when plodding
through the weary pages he had written, as the
ingenious conjectures made by the printer to
decipher what he (the author) had written. He
remembered on one occasion receiving some
anonymous correspondence, seeking to know what
was meant in a passage in one of his works —
namely, 'the horn of the burning beast.' He
looked at the passage, and was himself in some
perplexity to know what was the meaning of ' the
horn of the burning beast.' Perhaps some of them
might discover, in the extraordinary sagacity they
possessed, that the passage referred to resolved
itself into 'the thorn of the burning bush.' He
had also heard it asked whether indeed some of
those mistakes laid to the charge of authors did
not really proceed from the humour of those who
set up the type. Doubtless some of them remem-
bered that famous passage in the 'History of.
urope/ where the late Sir Archibald Alison

LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES. 247

described the funeral of the Duke of Wellington,
in which he spoke of the pall-bearers, including
among other distinguished officers the name of
' Sir Peregrine Pickle.' He had often heard that
quoted as an instance of the extraordinary ignor-
ance of that learned historian. But he confessed
that he thought it was not so much an instance of
ignorance on the part of Sir Archibald Alison as
it was of the humour of some compositor, in whom
the memory of Sir Peregrine Pickle was more fami-
liar than the memory of Sir Peregrine Acton."

Even the want of a comma may lead to strange
results, as in a bill which was presented to a farmer,
which ran — " To hanging two barn-doors and my-
self seven hours, 4s. 6d ." There is also the famous
blunder in the contract for lighting the town of
Liverpool in 18 19, the words of which were — "The
lamps to be in number 4050, of two spouts each,
composed of twenty threads of cotton." The con-
tractor would have proceeded to furnish each lamp
with the said twenty threads, but this being only
half the usual quantity, the commissioner disco-
vered that the difference arose from the misplacing
of the comma, which should have preceded, instead
. of followed, the word each. The contract was
annulled to prevent a lawsuit. A good example

248 LITERARY MISFORTUNES.

of the effect of misplacing a comma is to be found
in the ancient oracle — " Thou shalt go thou shalt
return never by war shalt thou perish." By one
way of placing the commas, the consulter of the
oracle was forbidden to go upon the purposed
expedition; by reading it his own way, he went
and perished. Then there was that unlucky
Bishop of Asello, who suffered the loss of his
bishopric through the blunder of a stupid painter
who was employed to trace an inscription over the
gate of the bishop's palace. The legend ran
thus —

" Porta patens esto nulli, claudaris honesto."

(" Gate, be thou open to nobody, be shut to an honest

man.")

The placing of the comma after esto would have
set it all right, as —

"Gate, be thou open, not shut to an honest man."

A recent critique upon a performance of Othello
has the following, showing how much the want of a
comma may mar the sense of a passage : — " The
Moor, seizing a bolster full of rage and jealousy,
smothers her." This reminds us of the very Irish
epitaph, which places the brother of flie deceased

LITERAR Y MISFORTUNES. 249

in an awkward position : "Erected to the memory
of John Phillips, accidentally shot as a mark of
affection by his brother." Another from the sister
isle is a remark which appeared in an article in a
newspaper upon Robespierre, which said " that he
left no children behind him, except a brother, who
was killed at the same time." A printer, meddling
with the verdict of a coroner's jury, struck out a
comma after the word " apoplexy," making it read
— " Deceased came to his death by excessive
drinking, producing apoplexy in the minds of the
jury." A correspondent sent a piece of poetry to a
newspaper with the following introduction : — " The
following lines were written more than fifty years
ago, by one who has for many years slept in his
grave merely for his own amusement." There are
sometimes words quaintly put together, when the
meaning is purposely disguised by forced pointing,
as in the nursery rhyme —

" Every lady in the land
Has twenty nails on each hand,
Five and twenty on hands and feet ;
This is true without deceit."

This is rather puzzling, till a comma is placed
after nails, Jive, and feet, omitting the one after
hand.

250 LITER AR V MISFOR TUNES.

In all works hurriedly produced, such as news-
papers, there is, of course, a greater liability to
commit errors; but, all things considered, news-
papers are marvels of correct typography, and it
cannot be doubted that the careful and painstaking
method of reading over the proof slips alone pro-
duces this result. These proofs frequently contain
curious errors — such as Paper-families for Pater-
familias, or " Eh ! the Brute ! " for " Et tu, Brute ! "
But these are generally set right before printing by
the Reader comparing the proof with the author's
MS. — supposing that this is in itself correct,
which is not always the case; and then it is the
duty of the Reader to see that there are no incon-
sistencies in spelling, punctuation, abbreviations,
&c. In "making-up" newspapers — or the piecing
together of different paragraphs into columns —
the jumbling together of two separate items will
occasionally occur, and a good specimen of this
kind of mixture appeared some time ago in a French
newspaper: "Dr. X. has been appointed head
physician to the Hdpital de la Charitd. Orders
have been issued by the authorities for the immedi-
ate extension of the Cimetiere de Parnasse. ,, This
confusion was perhaps better illustrated in the report
of a. public meeting in the United States, at which

LITERAR Y MISFORTUNES. 25 1

one of the "strong-minded" females of the day
appeared on the same platform with Mr. Train,
and the lady wrote as follows to the paper regarding
its report : — u By some fantastic trick of your type-
setter, my speech in St. James's Hall on Saturday
evening, is suddenly terminated, and so linked to
that of Mr. Train, that I am made to run off in
an entirely new vein of eloquence. Among many
other exploits, I am made to boast that I neither
smoke, nor chew, nor drink, nor lie, nor steal, nor
swear, as if such accomplishments were usual
among American women ; and wherever I refer to
my honoured countrymen as white males, I am
reported as having addressed them as 'white
mules.' All these are very good jokes if credited
to the printer's devil, but not to those who repre-
sent an unpopular idea, and carefully weigh their
words." The New Haven (U. S.) Journal and
Courier lately produced a curious jumble in report-
ing two items which had somehow got mixed.
One read — "A large cast-iron wheel, revolving
nine hundred times per minute, exploded in that
city yesterday, after a long and painful illness.
Deceased was a prominent thirty-second degree
Mason." The other paragraph detailed how
"John Fadden, the well-known florist and

2$t LITERAR Y MISFORTUNES.

real-estate broker, of Newport, R. I., died in
Wardner and Russell's sugar-mill at Crystal Lake,
111., on Saturday, doing $3000 damage to the
building, and injuring several workmen and Lor-
enzo Wilcox fatally."

Of errors of other kinds we give the following.
In an article upon the short-time agitation it was
stated that "a factory boy had been shaved to
death" (slaved). George Stephenson, the cele-
brated engineer, when examined before the Com-
mons' C<?mmittee upon Railways, was asked by a
member what would happen to the train supposing
a cow chanced to stray upon the line. Stephenson's
reply was that he did not know what might be the
result to the train, but that " it would be unco bad
for the coo." An accident of this kind recently
occurred, and a local newspaper reported, " As the
safest way, the engineer put on full steam, dashed
up against the cow, and literally cut it into calves! "
This rather astonishing statement created some
surprise, which was, however, put an end to by the
next issue of the paper, which stated that "the
cow was cut into halves." Darwin may assert
strange things, but the following does not enter
into his list of affinities: — that "ants reside in
subterranean taverns;" or this: "A live surgeon

LITER AR Y MISFOR TUNES. 253

was caught in the Thames, and was sold to
the inhabitants (!) at sixpence a pound." The
" Literary Gazette " once made the following
apology : — " By the breaking of the head of an A,
or the misprint of the letter //, a very tempting
advertisement to invest in certain lines, was entitled
' Purchase of Railway Snares' " Those who com-
plain of the mismanagement of the great water
companies might not be displeased to read that
" the scheme proposed by Government is to bung
up the existing companies," — what should have
been stated was that there was an intention of
" buying up " the monopolists. The Directors of
the Indigent Old Men's Society of Edinburgh, on
looking for the report of one of their annual meet-
ings in the next morning's paper, were no doubt
astonished to find it reported as the Indignant
Old Men's Society. So with a learned bishop,
who had been viewing the antiquities of an old
church : he was stated to have expressed himself
gratified with its iniquities ! A correspondent of
a daily paper recently suggested a remedy for the
crowded state of towns by proposing the erection
of submarine dwellings for the working classes —
suburban residences would be quite as comfortable,
and freer from damp ! The animadversion oC ^

254 LITERAR Y MISFOR TUNES.

newspaper upon a public officer — some parochial
Bumble — which said he had been "tried in the
balance and found panting? was as likely to be
correct as if it had said he had been " found want-
ing." A child was once reported as having died
from eating a large quantity of piers — well, stone
fruit is said to be rather indigestible. An American
paper, describing a political demonstration, averred
that the procession was very fine, and nearly two
miles long, as was also the prayer of the chaplain.
Another American paper reporting the speeches
at a Burns' festival, made one of the orators say —

" O Caledonia ! stern and wild !
Wet nurse for a poetic child."

It must have taxed the ingenuity of the compositor,
who set up the paragraph in which we are told
" the Christian religion strictly enjoins mahogany?
instead of "monogamy." A serious fight took
place lately in a public-house in the Cowgate of
Edinburgh, on the occasion of a painting being
disposed of by Raphael — " raffle " was the mode
adopted. A provincial paper speaks of the excite-
ment caused by a recent highway bobbery ; and
another, in printing the report of a Life Insurance
Society, congratulated the members on the low rate

LITER AR Y MISFORTUNES. 255

of morality during the past year. Considerable

annoyance was caused at a public meeting by

a lady having taken an historical fit — " hysteria "

was the nature of the attack. In criticising the

plan of a public building, the beauty of the edifice

was represented as much marred by the number of

acute angels introduced — " acute angles " being no

doubt the object of disapproval. Many confusions

of the limbs took place at a recent railway accident.

In the giving of the surgeon's statement of the

post-mortem examination of the body of a lady

supposed to have been poisoned, it was incidentally

mentioned that a great deal of anatomy had been

found — it should have been "antimony." This

latter word crops up again in another place where

it is not wanted — as in a recent criticism of a

speech by Mr. Gladstone : " What, then, by way of

novelty, does Mr. Gladstone propose ? Simply the

extension to the other Christian powers of Turkey

of the antimony now enjoyed by Roumania." Of

course, the word should have been "autonomy."

Again, " Mr. Gladstone dwelt on the right which

England had earned by expenditure of blood and

treasure to interfere in Turkish provinces ; but

now, with a leopard and a hound, he has formulated

a plan for making the Christian provinces practi-

256 LITER A R Y MISFORTUNES.

cally autonomous " — a " leap and a bound " was
meant here. These two last examples are " first-
proof" faults, and were corrected before publication.
One or two more, and we have done. In the
Times report of Disraeli's speech upon the causes
of the rebellion in India, that usually exception-
ally correct paper made him refer to the law which
"permitted Hindoo windows to marry." A still
more curious instance occurred in the same paper in
connection with the Jamaica prosecutions. Mr.
Stephens was reported to have said that he had
treated Mr. Eyre as he had often treated obscene
and uninteresting criminals. It was easy to see
that this was a misprint for "obscure/' but the
editor insisted that the error was in the manuscript.
Towards the close of the American Civil War, a
newspaper contained a strong leader upon the
failure of the Southern States to establish their
independence, and contained the curious statement
that since General Lee had capitulated, the other
divisions of the Confederate armies " would, in all
likelihood, now commence a gorilla warfare" —
guerilla, of course, was here meant. About the
same time, there appeared a report of the seizure
of the goods of a certain refractory gentleman for
^ the non-payment of a local tax which had been

LITERAR Y MISFORTUNES. 257

the occasion of much trouble in one of our northern
cities, and mention was made of one article which
had been seized among the rest, and this was
characterised as "an eloquent chest of drawers."
In complimenting a soldier as a "battle-scarred
veteran," a paper gave him the character of a
" battle-scared veteran/' and in afterwards inserting
an erratum and apology, made matters worse by
styling him a " &?#Ze-scarred veteran !"

( 2 5 8 )

SHAPED POEMS.

IGURATE or Shaped Poems have consi-
derable antiquity, and several in Greek,
attributed to Theocritus, Simmias of
Rhodes, and others, have come down to us ; while
mediaeval Latin poetry also furnishes many of these
curious versifications. The minor poets of Dryden's
time were much given to this literary folly, though
it sometimes required a little aid from the imagi-
nation to trace the resemblance to the object
indicated, and greater attention was frequently
paid to the shape of the verse than to its sense or
rhythm. Ben Jonson satirised these early poets
for their facility in this pattern-cutting style, saying
they could fashion

" A pair of scissors and a comb in verse."

Bottles, glasses, axes, fans, hearts, wings, true-love

knots, ladies' gowns, flying angels, trumpets of fame,

&c, were all favourite forms; and, with another

class of poets, pulpits, altars, and tombstones were

SHAPED POEMS. 259

the mode ; whilst Gabriel Harvey is reputed to
have been an adept at verses " in the form of a pair
of gloves, a pair of spectacles, and a pair of pot-
hooks." Butler also speaks severely regarding this
literary folly; referring in the "Character of a
Small Poet" to Edward Benlowes, called in his
day "the excellently learned," he says of him:
" There is no feat of activity, nor gambol of wit,
that ever was performed by man, from him that
vaults on Pegasus, to him that tumbles through the
hoop of an anagram, but Benlowes has got the
mastery of it, whether it be high-rope wit or low-
rope wit. He has all sorts of echoes, rebuses,
chronograms, &c. As for altars and pyramids in
poetry, he has outdone all men that way ; for he
has made a gridiron and a frying-pan in verse, that
besides the likeness in shape, the very tone and
sound of the words did perfectly represent the
noise that is made by these utensils. When he
was a captain, he made all the furniture of his
horse, from the bit to the crupper, in the beaten
. poetry, every verse being fitted to the proportion
of the thing; as the bridle of moderation^ the
saddle of content ', and the crupper of co?istancy ; so
that the same thing was to the epigram and
emblem even as the mule is both horse and ass."

I

260 SHAPED POEMS.

Verses in such fantastic and grotesque shapes
were also common in France at one time — the poet
Pannard (1640) tortured his agreeable vein into
such forms, making his Bacchanalian songs take
the form of bottles and glasses, this being done by
lengthening or shortening the lines as required,
though with sad detriment to the verse. Pannard's
method will be best understood from the following
two examples of his verse :

Nous ne pouvons rien trouver sur la terre

qui soit si bon ni si beau que le verre.

Du tendre amour berceau charmant,

c'est toi, champetre fougere,

c'est toi qui sers a faire

l'heureux instrument

ou souvent petille,

mousse, et brille

le jus qui rend

gai, riant,

content.

Quelle douceur

il porte au coeur !

tot

tot

tot

Qu'on m'en donne

vite et comme il faut

tot

tot

tot

qu'on m'en donne

vite et comme il faut

L'on y voit sur ses riots cheris

nager l'allegresse et les ris.

SHAPED POEMS. 261

Que mon

fl a c o n

me semble bon !

Sans lui

l'ennui

me nuit,

me suit ;

je sens

mes sens

mourants,

pesants.

Quand je le tiens,

Dieux ! que je suis bien !

que son aspect est agreable !

que je fais cas de ses divins presens !

C'est de son sein fecond, c'est de ses heureux flancs

que coule ce nectar si doux, si delectable,

qui rend tous les esprits, tous les cceurs satisfaits !

Cher objet de mes vceux, tu fais toute ma gloire.

Tant que mon cceur vivra, de tes charmants bienfaits

il saura conserver la fidele memoire.

Both in China and Japan such literary feats are
held in great esteem even in the present day ; in
the latter country the poet not unfrequently
arranges his verses in the shape of a man's head —
thus perhaps giving a facial outline of the subject
of his verse; and though the Chinese may not
make so good a choice, taking perhaps a cow or
some other animal for the design, they display
greater ingenuity by so doing.

William Browne, an old English poet % ia bl^

262 SHAPED POEMS.

" Britannia's Pastorals," has the following verse
done up in a true-love knot :

" This is love and worth commending,
Still beginning, never ending ;
Like a wilie net ensnaring,
In a round shuts up all squaring,
In and out, whose every angle
More and more doth still entangle ;
Keeps a measure still in moving,
And is never light but loving.
Twining arms, exchanging kisses,
Each partaking other's blisses ;
Laughing, weeping, still together,
Bliss in one is mirth in either.
Never breaking, ever bending ;
This is love and worth commending."

Of Browne it has been said that "to few authors
has it chanced to be so enthusiastically lauded
by one age and so thoroughly neglected by the
next."

Puttenhame, in his " Art of Poesie," has defended
earnestly this species of literary trifling, and gives
specimens of poems in the form of lozenges, pillars,
&c. ; one of these being in honour of Queen Eliza-
beth, in the form of two pillars, each of which
consists of a base of lines of eight syllables, the

SHAPED POEMS.

263

shafts of lines of four syllables, the capitals being
the same as the bases — one pillar reading up, the
other down.

Of these Figurate verses we give only a few
examples, as being of little interest, giving the
first place to one by George Herbert :

The Altar.

A Broken Altar, Lord, Thy servant rears,
Made of a heart, and cemented with tears :

Whose parts are as Thy hand did frame ;

No workman's tool hath touch'd the

same.

A Heart alone
Is such a stone,
As nothing but
Thy power doth cut.
Wherefore each part
Of my hard heart
Meets in this frame,
To praise Thy name :

That, if I chance to hold my peace,
These stones to praise Thee may not

Oh, let Thy blessed Sacrifice be mine,
And sanctify this Altar to be Thine.

The "next is also from the same author :

264

SHAPED POEMS.

Loiio ' wh ^r7^^ — — ___

\ ^ ro6u££***m and store

Afos tpoor;

^ Ob let »e rise

^^ As laxW. n atones .
^^ ^ «n* tbis day iny ». M in me.

T^eti snavi ^ . —

Most thi n-

V/ith thee

ljett 06

A"*"^

111 *

combine,
~«— victory-

day^y

Affliction

^ And feel -—^ on

Tbinet

SHAPED POEMS. 265

Quaint as may be the construction of the next
example, yet never has the story been told with
more truthful simplicity :

THE CROSS.

Blest they who seek,

While in their youth,

With spirit meek,

The way of tnith;
To them the sacred Scriptures now display
Christ, as the only true and living way.
His precious blood on Calvary was given
To make them heirs of endless bliss in Heaven ;
And e'en on earth the child of God can trace
The glorious blessings of his Saviour's grace.

For them He bore

His Father's frown ;

For them He wore

The thorny Crown ;

Nailed to the Cross,

Endured its pain,

That His life's loss

Might be their gain.

Then haste to choose

That better part,

Nor e'en dare refuse

The Lord thy heart,

Lest He declare,

"I know you not,"

And deep despair

Should be your lot.

Now look to Jesus, who on Calvary died,

And trust on Him alone who there was crucified.

The next couple come appropriately together, and
may gratify the disciples of Sir Wilfrid Lawson :

266 SHAPED POEMS.

SONG OF THE DECANTER.

There was an old decan-
ter, and its mouth was
gaping wide ; the
rosy wine had
ebbed away
and left
its crys-
tal side :
and the wind
went humming —
humming
up and
down : the
wind it blew,
aud through the
reed-like
hollow neck
the wildest notes it
blew. I placed it in the
window, where the blast was
blowing free, and fancied that its
pale mouth sang the queerest strains to
. me. " They tell me — puny conquerors ! the
Plague has slain his ten, and war his hundred
thousand of the very best of men ; but I " — t'was
thus the Bottle spake — " but I have conquered
more than all your famous conquerors, so
feared and famed of yore. Then come, ye
youths and maidens all, come drink from
out my cup, the beverage that dulls the
brain and burns the spirits up ; that puts
to shame your conquerors that slay their
scores below ; for this has deluged mil-
lions with the lava tide of woe. Tho'
in the path of battle darkest streams
of blood may roll ; yet while I killed
the body, I have damn'd the very
soul. The cholera, the plague,
the sword, such ruin never wro't,
as I in mirth or malice on the
innocent have brought. And
still I breathe upon them, and
they shrink before my breath,
and year by year my thousands
tread the dusty way of death."

SHAPED POEMS. 267

THE WINE-GLASS.

Who hath woe? Who hath sorrow ? Who

hath contentions ? Who hath wounds

without cause? Who hath redness

of eyes? They that tarry long

at the wine ! they that

go to seek mixed wine !

Look not thou upon the

wine when it is red,

when it giveth

its colour

in the

CUP,

when it

moveth itself

aright.

At

the last it

biteth like a serpent,

and stingeth like an adder !

The next is not exactly Figurate : —

Epitaph.
Earth goes to \ /As mould to mould,

j^artn goes 10 \ / /\s mouia 10 moui

Earth treads on ( , J Glittering in gold,

Earth as to ( ' J Return ne'er should,

Earth shall be ' ^ Goe where he would.

Earth upon x / Consider may,

Earth goes to \ , J Naked away,

Earth though on J J Be stout and gay,

Earth shall on * ' Pass poor away.

Be merciful and charitable,
Relieve the poor as thou art able.
A shroud to thy grave,
Is all thou shalt have.

268 SHAPED POEMS.

We have here an —

ODE TO AN OLD VIOLIN.

Torn,
IVorn,
Oppress'd, I mourn f
Bad,
Sad,
Three-quarters mad !
Money gone,
Credit none ;
Duns at door,
Half a score ;
Head in pain,
Rack'd again ;
Children ailing,
Mother ratling,
Billy whooping,
Betsy croup ing,
Besides poor Joe
With festered toe.
Come, then, my fiddle,
Come, my time-worn friend,
With gay and brilliant sounds
Me sweet though transient solace lend.
Thy polished neck in close embrace
I clasp while joy illumes my face.
When o'er thy strings I draw my bow,
My drooping spirit pants to rise ;
A lively strain I touch, — and Jo I
I seem to mount above the skies.
There on Fancy's wings I soar,
Heedless of the dims at door.
Oblivious all ! I feel my woes no more ;
But skip o'er the strings,
As my old fiddle sings,
"Cheerily, O merrily go I
Presto ! good master,
You very well know,
I will find music,
If you will find bow,
From b up in alto, to c down below."
Fatigued, I pause to change the time
For some adagio solemn and sublime.
With graceful action moves the sinuous arm ;
My heart* responsive to the soothing charm,
Throbs equally, whilst every health-corroding care
Lies prostrate, vanquished, by the mellifluous air.
More and more plaintive grown, my eyes with tears o'erflow,
And Resignation mild soon smooths my wrinkled brow.
Reedy Hautboy may squeak, wailing Fiauto may squall,
The Serpent may grunt, and the Trombone may bawl ;
But thou, my old Fiddle, art prince of them all.
Could e'en Drydcn return thy praise to rehearse,
His Ode to Cecilia would seem rugged verse,
Now to thy case, in flannel warm to lie,
Till called again to pipe thy master's
eye.

SHAPED POEMS. 269

The following is said to be engraved on an old
monument in one of the London city churches:

Qu an tris di c vul stra

os guis ti ro um nere vit.
H san chris mi t mu la

In this verse the last syllable of each word in
the top line is the same as that of each correspond-
ing word in the bottom line, and is to be found in
the centre. It reads thus :

Quos anguis tristi diro cum vulnere stravit
Hos sanguis christi miro turn munere lavit.

Translated thus :

Those who have felt the serpent's venomed wound
In Christ's miraculous blood have healing found.

The next is by Christopher Harvie, a great friend
of George Herbert, and the last is by Herbert
himself.

THE SABBATH, OR LORD'S DAY.

Hail Vail

Holy Wholly

King of days, To thy praise,

The Emperor, For evermore

Or Universal Must the rehearsal

Monarch of time, the week's Of all, that honour seeks,

Perpetual Dictator. Under the World's Creator,

Thy My

Beauty Duty

Far exceeds Yet must needs

The reach of art, Yield thee mine heart,

To blazon fully ; And that not dully :

270 SHAPED POEMS.

And I thy light eclipse, Spirits of souls, not lips

When I most strive to raise thee. Alone, are fit to praise thee,

What That

Nothing Slow thing

Else can be, Time by thee

Thou only art ; Hath got the start,

Th' extracted spirit And doth inherit

Of all Eternity, That immortality

By favour antedated. Which sin anticipated.

O

That I

Could lay by

This body so,

That my soul might be

Incorporate with thee,

And no more to six days owe.

Paradise.

I BLESS Thee, Lord, because I grow
Among Thy trees, which in a row
To Thee both fruit and order ow.

What open force, or hidden charm,
Can blast my fruit, or bring me harm,
While the enclosure is Thine arm?

Enclose me still, for fear I start.
Be to me rather sharp and tart,
Than let me want Thy hand and art.

When Thou dost greater judgments spare,
And with Thy knife but prune and pare,
Even fruitful trees more fruitful are.

Such sharpness shows the sweetest friend :
Such cuttings rather heal than rend :
And such beginnings touch their end.

( 271 )

PROSE POEMS.

|N many of the prose works of our modern
authors there are to be found specimens
* tCTT ^ of accidental versification and uninten-
tionally measured strains, as well as passages of such
a nature as to lead to the supposition that a certain
degree of rhythmical writing and rugged blank
verse had been sought after. It would be difficult,
however, to collect examples of this ; but in the
writings of Charles Dickens we find two excellent
illustrations. The first is from the " Old Curiosity
Shop," where the funeral of Little Nell is de-
scribed :

" And now the bell —

The beli she had so often heard by night
And day, and listened to with solemn
Pleasure, almost as a living voice —
Rung its remorseful toll for her, so young,
So beautiful, so good. Decrepit age,
And vigorous life, and blooming youth, and
Helpless infancy, poured forth — on crutches,
In the pride of strength and health, in the full

272 PROSE POEMS.

Blush of promise, in the mere dawn of life —
To gather round her tomb. Old men were there,
Whose eyes were dim and senses failing ;
Grandmothers, who might have died ten years ago
And still been old ; the deaf, the blind, the lame,
The palsied, the living dead in many
Shapes and forms ; to see the closing of that
Early grave. What was the death it would shut
In, to that which still could crawl and creep
Above it ? Along the crowded path they
Bore her now ; pure as the newly-fallen
Snow that covered it, whose days on earth had
Been as fleeting. Under that porch where she
Had sat when Heaven in its mercy brought
Her to that peaceful spot, she passed again,
And the old church received her in its quiet shade."

Again, some will no doubt be surprised to recognise
in the next example the Song of the Kettle from
the " Cricket on the Hearth " — evidently an unin-
tentional outburst on the part of the author, in
which the lines not only preserve their symmetry,
but also rhyme with each other :

•' It's a dark night, sang the kettle, and the rotten leaves are lying
by the way ;
And above, all is mist and darkness, and below, all is mire and clay ;
And there is only one relief in all the sad and murky air,
And I don't know that it is one, for it's nothing but a glare
Of deep and angry crimson, where the sun and wind together
Set a brand upon the clouds for being guilty of such weather ;
And the widest open country is a long dull streak of black ;
And there's hoarfrost on the finger-post, and thaw upon the track ;

PROSE POEMS. 273

And the ice it isn't water, and the water isn't free ;

And you couldn't say that anything is what it ought to be ;

But he's coming, coming, coming ! "

Our friends across the Atlantic, however, have
a peculiar way of their own in regard to poetical
prose, in which they travesty some of the best
poems in the English language in a very amusing
way. Yankee philology has been a source of much
discussion in many periodicals — their peculiar go-
ahead idiosyncrasies finding vent in the concoction
of new phrases and words which are not only apt
but very expressive. This is not the place to enter
into any lengthened discussion on the point, but
by way of introduction to the peculiar prose poems
which have been produced in the States, we may
refer shortly to the " high-falutin' " style of their
metaphors and similes. This tendency has often
been noticed in respect to American literature,
and readers of Mark Twain, Artemus Ward, and
other writers, will easily remember many instances
of these curiosities, in which are produced the
effects of wit by twisting a phrase from its figura-
tive to its literal meaning. For example, we are
told of a man who made a hat for the head of a
discourse, and a shoe for the foot of a mountain.
We learn of a gentleman who sat down on the

274 PROSE POEMS.

spur of the moment ; of a young lady who fainted
at a bare idea, who wore spectacles over her
naked eyes, who refused to sit in the lap of luxury,
blushing at the mention of the lapse of ages (for-
getting that lapse is not the plural of lap), and who
would not sit on the sea-shore lest her waist might
be encircled by an arm of the sea. Among others
may be noted "the hook and line with which a
fisherman caught a cold ; the hammer which broke
up a meeting ; a fluke from the anchor of hope ;
one of the spurs of the Rocky Mountains ; a hinge
from the gates of death ; a story which melted
a heart of oak; buttons from a coat of paint;
spectacles for the eyes of a potato ; braces for a
shoulder of mutton ; dye for the beard of an
oyster ; ear-rings for an ear of corn ; cheese from
the milk of human kindness; butter from the
cream of a joke, and eggs from a nest of thieves."

Of these Prose Poems we limit ourselves to the
following selection : —

A Ravening Reverie.

Once upon a midnight stormy a lone bachelor attorney
pondered many a curious volume of his heart's forgotten
lore ; while he nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there
came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping— rapping
at his chamber-door. " Tis the spirits," and he started,

PROSE POEMS. 27s

" rapping at my chamber-door. Oh, for help ! I am
frightened sore ! n Then into his chamber flitting (not
even one permitting him to fly into the closet or to get
behind the door), came the ghosts of fond hearts broken
(with many a ring and other token), and they sat them
down beside him, on the dusty, book-strewn floor — sat
amidst the volumes of most venerable lore. Quoth the
lawyer, " What a bore ! It must be something serious ;
this is certainly mysterious, quite an advent of the spirits
— resurrection con amore. But I understand them
mostly ! " — here there came a rap so ghostly, that he could
no more dissemble as he had done heretofore, and his
face grew pale and paler, as he started for the door —
down he fell upon the floor. Then there came a clatter,
clatter, and his teeth began to chatter, as the spirits
gathered round him, and accused him very sore, how
with gladsome face all smiling, and with winning words
beguiling, he had charmed away the senses of fair
maidens by the score ; and each lass had fondly fancied
'twas her he did adore. Quoth the lawyer, " Never
more ! " Startled at the stillness broken by reply so
aptly spoken, for the answer, strange enough, quite a
relevancy bore; they began a noisy rapping — sort of
spiritual clapping, which the lawyer thought would be
but a fashionable encore — and again, as if his soul in
that word he would outpour, did he groan out, " Never
more ! " Presently his soul grew stronger ; hesitating
then no longer — " Oh, oh ! " said he, " sweet spirits,
your forgiveness I implore ; on my knees to every ghostess,
who to love has played the hostess, I will recant the
many faithless things I swore ! Will you promise then to
leave me?" here he pointed to the door. Ra.^\A& ^a

276 PROSE POEMS.

spirits, " Never more ! " "Be that word our sign of
parting," said the hapless wight upstarting, " hie ye hence
into the darkness, seek ye out some distant shore. In
the noisy camp or forum, in the lonely sane sanctorum —
such ghastly, grim, ungainly guests were never seen before.
Leave my loneliness unbroken," here he opened wide the
door. Rapped the spirits, "Never more!" So these
vixen spirits of evil — spirits still, though most uncivil —
they will never leave the lawyer, though in tears he may
implore. At his false heart they are tapping, they are
rapping, rapping, and he wishes, oh, how vainly ! that
his haunted life were o'er ; and he often sighs : " Oh,
could I but recall the days of yore, I would flirt — oh,
never more ! "

A Maiden's " Psalm of Life."

Tell us not in idle jingle "marriage is an empty
dream ! " for the girl is dead that's single, and things are
not what they seem. Life is real ! life is earnest ! single
blessedness a fib ; " Man thou art, to man returnest ! "
has been spoken of the rib. Not enjoyment, and not
sorrow, is our destined end or way, but to act that each
to-morrow finds us nearer marriage day. Life is long
and youth is fleeting, and our hearts, though light and gay,
still like pleasant drums are beating wedding marches
all the way. In the world's broad field of battle, in the
bivouac of life, be not like dumb driven cattle ! — be a
heroine— a wife ! Trust no future, howe'er pleasant,
let the dead Past bury its dead ! act — act to the living
Present ! heart within and hope ahead ! Lives of married
folks remind us we can live our lives as well, and,
departing, leave behind us such examples as shall " tell ! "

PROSE POEMS. 277

Such examples, that another, wasting time in idle sport,
a forlorn unmarried brother, seeing, shall take heart and
court Let us, then, be up and doing, with a heart on
triumph set ; still contriving, still pursuing, and each one
a husband get.

After Kingsley — A Long Way.

Three women went shopping out in the west, out into
the West End of London town. Each had on the bonnet
she kept for her best ; and they ordered things wholesale,
and had 'em put down. For men must work, and women
must waste ; and what's earned at leisure is spent in
haste, though the husbands all are moaning. Three men
sat up at a latesome hour, and trimmed their accounts
as the sun went down. They looked for a squall, and
they looked sad and sour, and their coat sleeves were
rolled up all ragged and brown. For men must work, and
women must waste, and be dressed in the height of the
fashion and taste, though the husbands all are moaning.
Three writs they are out in the bailiff's hands, on the
suing of one who wants money down. But the debtors,
poor devils, can't meet their demands ; so they go to a
sponging-house kept in the town. For men must work,
and women must waste ; and the parents are beggared,
the children disgraced, and good-bye to papa and his
moaning.

The Song of the " Reb."

'Neath a ragged Palmetto a Southerner sat, a-twisting
the band of his Panama hat, and trying to lighten his
mind of a load, by humming the words of the following
ode : — Oh ! for a darkey, oh ! for a whip, oh ! for a

"27S PROSE POEMS.

cocktail, and oh ! for a nip ; oh ! for a shot at old
Greeley and Beecher, oh ! for a crack at a Yankee school-
teacher ; oh ! for a captain, and oh ! for a ship, oh I for
a cargo of darkies each trip. And so he kept ohing for
what he had not, not content with owing for all that
he'd got

A Little More.

(At thirty.) Five hundred guineas I have saved — a
rather moderate store. No matter ; I shall be content
when I've a little more. (At* forty!) Well, I can count
ten thousand now — that's better than before ; and I may
well be satisfied when Fve a little more. (At fifty.)
Some fifty thousand — pretty well; but I have earned it
sore. However, I shall not complain when I've a little
more. (At sixty.) One hundred thousand — sick and
old ; ah ! life is half a bore, yet I can be content to live
when I've a little more. (At seventy.) He dies — and
to his greedy heirs he leaves a countless store. His
wealth has purchased him a tomb, and very little more !

A Tale of a Dog.

A lady with a crinoline was walking down a street —
her feathers fluttered in the air, her hoops stuck out
some feet. She walked the earth as if she felt of it she
was no part, and proudly did she step along, for pride
was in her heart She did not see a curly dog which
walked close by her side, all save the curly tail of which
her crinoline did hide. His tail the dog with pleasure
shook — it fluttered in the wind, and from the lady's
crinoline stuck out a foot behind. A crowd the tail did
soon espy as it waved to and fro, and like a rudder

PROSE POEMS. 279

seemed to point the way the maid must go. The curly
dog right pleased was he the quarters he had got, and
walked beside the lady in a kind of doggish trot Each
step the lady now did take served to increase her train,
while those who followed in her wake roared out with
might and main. Some held their sides, they laughed
so hard, and others fairly cried, while many even still
confess that they'd "like to died." But still the lady
sailed along in crinoline and pride, unmindful of the
crowd behind or dog close by her side. But soon
another dog espied the tail which fluttered free, it so
provoked the doggish ire he could not let it be. But
with a deep ferocious growl, for battle straight he went,
and 'neath the lady's crinoline both dogs were quickly
pent. They fought, 'tis said, one hour or more — the
lady nothing knew — but with her head erect sailed on,
and did her way pursue. Some say she never would
have known at all about the fight, had not one dog
mistook and gave her "limb" an awful bite. But since
that day, I've heard it said, that lady ne'er was seen
upon the street with so much pride and such a crinoline.

The Editor.

With fingers blackened with ink, with eyelids heavy
and red, the local editor sat in his chair, writing for
daily bread. The small boy was by his side, the foreman
grumbled and swore, and the office boy, like an " Oliver
Twist," constantly cried for "more." He had told of
a broken leg that had never been broken at all, he had
killed off the nearest friend he had, and torn up a house
in a squall. And now he was at an end, he hadtv't 'asv

28o PROSE POEMS.

item left ; and he bowed his head to the small boy's
scorn like a fellow of hope bereft. They found him a
corpse that night in streets so drear and sloppy, with
the foreman whispering into his ear and the small boy
waiting for copy.

A Novelette.

Sweet Margaret Fane came up the lane from picking
the ripe-red berries, and met young Paul, comely and
tall, going to market with cherries. Stopping, she
blushed, and he looked flushed, perhaps 'twas the
burdens they carried ; when they passed on, their
burdens were one, and at Christmas they were married.

"My Pretty Jane."

It is many years since I fell in love with Jane Jerusha
Skeggs, the handsomest country girl by far that ever
went on legs. By meadow, creek, and wood, and dell,
so often we did walk, and the moonlight smiled on her
melting lips, and the night winds learned our talk. Jane
Jerusha was all to me, for my heart was young and true,
and loved with a double and twisted love, and a love
that was honest, too. I roamed all over the neighbours'
farms, and I robbed the wildwood bowers, and tore my
trousers and scratched my hands in search of choicest
flowers. In my joyous love I brought all these to my
Jerusha Jane ; but I wouldn't be so foolish now, if I
were a boy again. A city chap then came along, all
dressed up in fine clothes, with a shiny hat and shiny
vest and a moustache under his nose. He talked to her
of singing-schools (for her father owned a farm), and she
left me, the country love, and took the new chap's arm.

PROSE POEMS. 281

And all that night I never slept, nor could I eat next
day, for I loved that girl with a fervent love that nought
could drive away. I strove to win her back to me, but
it was all in vain; the city chap with the hairy lip
married Jerusha Jane. And my poor heart was sick and
sore until the thought struck me, that just as good fish
still remained as ever was caught in the sea. So I went
to the Methodist church one night, and saw a dark brown
curl peeping from under a gipsy hat, and I married that
very girL And many years have passed and gone, and
I think my loss my gain ; and I often bless that hairy
chap that stole Jerusha Jane.

The Old Oak.

Old Mr. Fuddle fell down in a puddle, just as a
runaway horse and shay came dashing and splashing
and tearing that way. In helpless plight he roared with
fright ; the horse came quick, all gallop and kick, when
the old man raised his old oak stick ; the horse then
shied a little aside, for sticks were no friends to his well-
fed hide. Within a foot of Fuddle's toes, within an inch
of his ruby nose, the wheel comes whizzing, and on it
goes. Up rises Fuddle from out the puddle, and stands
on the road with a staggering stride, then wheeling away
from the scene of the fray, he flourished his stick with a

hero's pride.

Norah O'Neil.

You say you are lonely without me, that you sigh for
one glance of my eye ; you're blarneying always about
me — Oh ! why don't you to papa apply ? You men are
so very deceiving, I can't believe aught that you say;
your love I will only believe in when my jointure is mad&

282 PROSE POEMS.

out au fait. This trash about eyes, voice, and glances
may do for a miss in her teens ; but he who to me makes
advances must talk of his bank-stock and means. You
beg me to go galavanting, to meet you at the foot of the
lane — with a kiss, too ! why, man, you're ranting ! do
you think that I'm wholly insane ? When you meet a
young lady of sense, sir, don't whine about sorrow and
tears ; it's a matter of shillings and pence, sir ; no tale of
romance interferes. Oh, poverty's not at all funny (my
style I will never conceal) ; if I can't get a husband with
money, then I'll live and die Norah O'NeiL

A Moonlight Walk.

On a quiet day, in leafy June, when bees and birds
were all in tune, two lovers walked beneath the moon.
The night was fair — so was the maid ; they walked and
talked beneath the shade, with none to harm or make
afraid. Her name was Sue, and his was Jim ; and he
was fat and she was slim ; he took to her and she to him.
Says Jim to Sue, " By all the snakes that squirm among
the bush and brakes, I love you better than oatmeal
cakes." Says Sue to Jim, " Since you've begun it, and
been and come and gone and done it, I like you next
to a new bonnet." Says Jim to Sue, " My heart you've
busted ; but I have always girls mistrusted." Says Sue
to Jim, " I will be true ; if you love me as I love you,
no knife can cut our love in two." Says Jim to Sue,
" Through thick and thin, for your true love count me
in; I'll court no other girl ag'in." Jim leaned to Sue ;
Sue leaned to Jim ; his nose just touched her straw hat
brim : four lips met — went ahem ! ahem 1 And then —

PROSE POEMS. 283

and then — and then — then ! Oh girls, beware of men

in June, and underneath the silver moon, when frogs and

crickets are in tune, lest you get your names in the papers

soon.

The Gingham Gown.

I met her in the sunset bright, her gingham gown was
blue ; her eyes, that danced with pure delight, were of
the same dear hue. And always, when the sun goes
down, I think of the girl in the gingham gown.

An Editorial.

'Tis sweet, on winter's night, at home to sit by fire and
taper; but ah, it is a wiser thing, by far, to read our
paper. Won't you take our paper ? Can't you take our
paper ? The joys of earth are little worth unless you take
our paper. Maidens waiting lovers true, you must take
our paper. Swains, who would not idle woo, you must
take our paper. Won't you take our paper ? Can't you
take our paper ? Love's joys below you'll never know,
unless you take our paper.

" Good-bye, Sweetheart, Good-bye ! "

" Farewell, farewell ! " I cried. " When I return thou'lt
be my bride — till then be faithful — sweet, adieu— in
silence oft I'll think of you." The glistening tears strained
her bright eyes — her thickening breath is choked with
sighs — her tongue denies her bosom's sway — " Farewell ! "
— I tore myself away. "One moment stay," she
stammered out ; as quick as thought I wheeled about
" My angel, speak ! can aught be done to comfort thee
when I am gone ? I'll send thee specimens of art from
every European mart ; I'll sketch for thee each Alpine

284 PROSE POEMS.

scene, to let thee see where I have been. A stone from
Simplon's dreadful height shall gratify thy curious sight
I'll climb the fiery Etna's side to bring home treasures
for my bride ; and oh ! my life, each ship shall bear a
double letter for my fair ! " " Ah, George ! " the weep-
ing angel said, and on my shoulder fell her head, " for
constancy, my tears are hostage — but when you write,
please pay the postage ! "

Something like Poetry.

Tennyson claims to be a great poet, and yet he may
fret and study and tear about for a week, and then can't
yank an ode to a sawmill, while the sweet singer of
Michigan only gave two minutes to whacking up one
beginning : " All hail to thee, most terrible invention,
Which chews up trees to any wished dimension, And
when something distracts a man's attention, Will break
him up so that a gov'ment pension Won't do him any
good. Oh, fierce devourer thou of men and wood ! "

A Printer's Litany.

From want of gold, from wives that scold, from
maidens old, by sharpers " sold " — preserve us !

From foppish sneers, mock auctioneers, and woman's
tears — deliver us !

From stinging flies, from coal-black eyes, and babies'
cries — deliver us !

From seedy coats, protested notes, and leaky boats —
protect us !

From creaking doors, a wife that snores, confounded
bores, and dry-goods stores — protect us !

Fom shabby hats, and torn cravats, and flying brick-
bats — save us!

After Kingsley, 177

Albriry '.huiLh, chronogram at, U9
AlcxLirnl^r I. of Russia, 316
Alliteration, 17
AI|ih:i:>eLi(.: curiosities, 48
Altar, the, 363

An.i.-re'jr.'. .:■„ >.'-.AO-V-. w
Anagram by Herbert, jofi

A"NeTv;aylgift,30
Anne, Queen, portra.toQii

7J
Approach of Evening, 65
Arte of English IWsie, to 4

Authors' 11. :iies, anagrams on, i«
Aiif crat of the llrealtfast Table, the,:
Autumn day* .71

Balks, Peter, i»
Beerlcll, Mr., .3

JtibltTni in ia Mrs , ' IS

Jlihle. e,.„«inihe, 343

Birthday of Shalte.npeare, on the, 178

Blair chard, La man. tS s

];.,;;,,[. ;.„ A„,-,i,-..:i |.,cr,S 4
l'-.l...-i. Cur.hbert.6j

Bonn, chroiioarjui irL'iit, jjS

liridget Brady, «Sj

Cannon, Rev. Kdwart
n? William, 6a

Clement, J.itques, TOO

Coins ,n-i.-| nieJii-, ohronographic, 110

Coleridge, 38, . S7

Collins, Mortimer, 40; jingle-rhymed

alphabet by, 55
Cologne, church at, chronogram from.

286

INDEX.

Combinations of Latin words, 9, 10
Comedie of Supposes, the, 63
Commentary, Trapp's, 33
Come, love, come, a lipogrammatic song,

60
Cotton Mather, 196
Crawshawe, anagram on, 905
Cross, the, 365
Curiosities, alphabetic, 48
Curious advertisement, 37
Curse of Minerva, the, 39

Dame Life and Dame Death, ai
Dance of the Seven Deadly Sins, 30
Davies, Dame Eleanor, 198
Dean of Westminster, the, 245
Delany, Mrs., lines by, 73
Delepierre, M. Octave, 89, 178
Deming, Mrs. H. A., 180
De Morgan, Professor, 226
Dialogue between Glutton and Echo,

127
Dickens, Charles, 271
Diploma, macaronic, 91-96,
Dishingtap, Tom, macaronic, 98
Disraeli, Isaac, 59
Dobell, Sydney, 199
Double-faced Creed, the, 144
Drummond of Hawthornden, 89, 90
Duchess of Northumberland, lines by,

Dufot, a French poetaster, 70
Dunbar, 19, 29, 30, 88

Easter Wings, 264

Echo, the, 124 ^

Ecloga de Calvis, 46

Edinburgh, snowball riot at, 104

Editor, the, 279

Ego and Echo, 134

Elegy, an, «x

Elizabeth, Queen, chronogram on, 120 ;

anagram on, 194
Epigram from Scaliger, 166
Epitaph on a dog, X02
Epitaphs, curious, 64, 267
Equivocal verses, 143
Essay on man, the poets', 181
Euphue's Golden Legacy, 155
Exercise on the Alphabet, 44
Expulsio Adami et Evae, 177

Faerie Queene, the, 62

Fage, Mistress Mary, 201

Fall of Eve, the, 65

Fame's Rowle, 20X

Field, the Cambridge printer, 242

Fitzgerald, Dr., lines on, 172

Fletcher, the brothers, 152

Flodden Field, ballad of, 26, 27

Florence Huntingdon, lines to Mi>s, 169

Folengo, Teofilo, 87, 88

Fontenelle, 159

Fortune, lines on, 68

Francillon, R. E., echo verse by, 135

Francois de Valoys, anagram on, 193

Frosteldos, :o6

Gbddes, a macaronic writer, ioz

Gee, Mrs., to, 46

German palindrome, 222

Gilchrist, Octavius, 87

Gingham Gown, the, 283

Golden Age, the, 79

Good-bye, Sweetheart, Good-bye, 283

Gray, 29

Grime, Sarai, anagram on, 208

Hailes, Lord, 89

Hall, 157

Harvie, Christopher, 269

Heaven, 136

Hecart, Gabriel, A. J., 193

Herbert, George, 136, 142, 154, 206, 263,

265, 270
Holmes, Randle, 202
Holmes, Wendell, 113
Holy Alliance, the, anagram on, 209
Homero-Centones, the, 176
Hone's Every-day Book, 224
Horace, chronogram from, 1x6
Hubibras, extract from, 122
Huet, xz

Hugbald's Ecloga, 46
Human Heart, ode to the, 186

Icelandic verse, 18

Ignoramus, comedy of, xoo

Iliad of Homer, the, in a nutshell, xx

Impromptu, 164

Incontrovertible Facts, 66

Inscription, monumental, 269

Invitation, the, 148

Iskarriot, anagram on, 204

James, King, anagram on, 195
Jingling rhymes, 167
Johnnie Dowie's, 82
Jonson, Ben, 203

Kettle, Song of the, 272

Ladies, Panegyric on the, 148
Lai la Rookh, Tines from, 151
Last Day, the, 81
Lasus, the Greek poet, 58
Latin anagrams, 199, 907
Latin combinations, 9, xo
Latin palindromes, 220-223
Leland, Charles G., xix
Lent Oars, the, 211
Lessius, Leonard, 127

( 271 )

PROSE POEMS.

^|N many of the prose works of our modern

authors there are to be found specimens

ur " :T: of accidental versification and uninten-

tionally measured strains, as well as passages of such
a nature as to lead to the supposition that a certain
degree of rhythmical writing and rugged blank
verse had been sought after. It would be difficult,
however, to collect examples of this ; but in the
writings of Charles Dickens we find two excellent
illustrations. The first is from the " Old Curiosity
Shop," where the funeral of Little Nell is de-
scribed :

" And now the bell —

The beU she had so often heard by night
And day, and listened to with solemn
Pleasure, almost as a living voice —
Rung its remorseful toll for her, so young,
So beautiful, so good. Decrepit age,
And vigorous life, and blooming youth, and
Helpless infancy, poured forth — on crutches,
In the pride of strength and health, in the full

\

276 PROSE POEMS.

spirits, " Never more ! * "Be that word our sign of
parting," said the hapless wight upstarting, " hie ye hence
into the darkness, seek ye out some distant shore. In
the noisy camp or forum, in the lonely sane sanctorum —
such ghastly, grim, ungainly guests were never seen before.
Leave my loneliness unbroken," here he opened wide the
door. Rapped the spirits, " Never more ! " So these
vixen spirits of evil — spirits still, though most uncivil —
they will never leave the lawyer, though in tears he may
implore. At his false heart they are tapping, they are
rapping, rapping, and he wishes, oh, how vainly ! that
his haunted life were o'er ; and he often sighs : " Oh,
could I but recall the days of yore, I would flirt — oh,
never more ! "

A Maiden's " Psalm of Life."

Tell us not in idle jingle "marriage is an empty
dream ! " for the girl is dead that's single, and things are
not what they seem. Life is real ! life is earnest ! single
blessedness a fib ; " Man thou art, to man returnest ! "
has been spoken of the rib. Not enjoyment, and not
sorrow, is our destined end or way, but to act that each
to-morrow finds us nearer marriage day. Life is long
and youth is fleeting, and our hearts, though light and gay,
still like pleasant drums are beating wedding marches
all the way. In the world's broad field of battle, in the
bivouac of life, be not like dumb driven cattle ! — be a
heroine— a wife ! Trust no future, howe'er pleasant,
let the dead Past bury its dead ! act — act to the living
Present ! heart within and hope ahead ! Lives of married
folks remind us we can live our lives as well, and
departing, leave behind us such examples as shall " tell ! "

PROSE POEMS. 277

Such examples, that another, wasting time in idle sport,
a forlorn unmarried brother, seeing, shall take heart and
court. Let us, then, be up and doing, with a heart on
triumph set ; still contriving, still pursuing, and each one
a husband get.

After Kingsley — A Long Way.

Three women went shopping out in the west, out into
the West End of London town. Each had on the bonnet
she kept for her best ; and they ordered things wholesale,
and had 'em put down. For men must work, and women
must waste; and what's earned at leisure is spent in
haste, though the husbands all are moaning. Three men
sat up at a latesome hour, and trimmed their accounts
as the sun went down. They looked for a squall, and
they looked sad and sour, and their coat sleeves were
rolled up all ragged and brown. For men must work, and
women must waste, and be dressed in the height of the
fashion and taste, though the husbands all are moaning.
Three writs they are out in the bailiff's hands, on the
suing of one who wants money down. But the debtors,
poor devils, can't meet their demands ; so they go to a
sponging-house kept in the town. For men must work,
and women must waste ; and the parents are beggared,
the children disgraced, and good-bye to papa and his
moaning.

The Song of the " Reb."

'Neath a ragged Palmetto a Southerner sat, a-twisting
the band of his Panama hat, and trying to lighten his
mind of a load, by humming the words of the following
ode : — Oh ! for a darkey, oh ! for a whip, oh ! for a

'278 PROSE POEMS.

cocktail, and oh ! for a nip ; oh ! for a shot at old
Greeley and Beecher, oh ! for a crack at a Yankee school-
teacher ; oh ! for a captain, and oh ! for a ship, oh ! for
a cargo of darkies each trip. And so he kept ohing for
what he had not, not content with owing for all that
he'd got

A Little More.

(At thirty.) Five hundred guineas I have saved — a
rather moderate store. No matter ; I shall be content
when I've a little more. (At- forty.) Well, I can count
ten thousand now — that's better than before ; and I may
well be satisfied when I've a little more. (At fifty.)
Some fifty thousand — pretty well; but I have earned it
sore. However, I shall not complain when I've a little
more. (At sixty.) One hundred thousand — sick and
old ; ah I life is half a bore, yet I can be content to live
when Fve a little more. (At seventy.) He dies — and
to his greedy heirs he leaves a countless store. His
wealth has purchased him a tomb, and very little more !

A Tale of a Dog.

A lady with a crinoline was walking down a street —
her feathers fluttered in the air, her hoops stuck out
some feet. She walked the earth as if she felt of it she
was no part, and proudly did she step along, for pride
was in her heart She did not see a curly dog which
walked close by her side, all save the curly tail of which
her crinoline did hide. His tail the dog with pleasure
shook — it fluttered in the wind, and from the lady's
crinoline stuck out a foot behind. A crowd the tail did
soon espy as it waved to and fro, and like a rudder

PROSE POEMS. 279

seemed to point the way the maid must go. The curly
dog right pleased was he the quarters he had got, and
walked beside the lady in a kind of doggish trot. Each
step the lady now did take served to increase her train,
while those who followed in her wake roared out with
might and main. Some held their sides, they laughed
so hard, and others fairly cried, while many even still
confess that they'd " like to died." But still the lady
sailed along in crinoline and pride, unmindful of the
crowd behind or dog close by her side. But soon
another dog espied the tail which fluttered free, it so
provoked the doggish ire he could not let it be. But
with a deep ferocious growl, for battle straight he went,
and 'neath the lady's crinoline both dogs were quickly
pent. They fought, 'tis said, one hour or more — the
lady nothing knew — but with her head erect sailed on,
and did her way pursue. Some say she never would
have known at all about the fight, had not one dog
mistook and gave her " limb " an awful bite. But since
that day, I've heard it said, that lady ne'er was seen
upon the street with so much pride and such a crinoline.

The Editor.

With fingers blackened with ink, with eyelids heavy
and red, the local editor sat in his chair, writing for
daily bread. The small boy was by his side, the foreman
grumbled and swore, and the office boy, like an " Oliver
Twist," constantly cried for "more." He had told of
a broken leg that had never been broken at all, he had
killed off the nearest friend he had, and torn up a house
in a squall. And now he was at an end, he hadn't aa

28o PROSE POEMS.

item left ; and he bowed his head to the small boy's
scorn like a fellow of hope bereft. They found him a
corpse that night in streets so drear and sloppy, with
the foreman whispering into his ear and the small boy
waiting for copy.

A Novelette.

Sweet Margaret Fane came up the lane from picking
the ripe-red berries, and met young Paul, comely and
tall, going to market with cherries. Stopping, she
blushed, and he looked flushed, perhaps 'twas the
burdens they carried ; when they passed on, their
burdens were one, and at Christmas they were married.

"My Pretty Jane."

It is many years since I fell in love with Jane Jerusha
Skeggs, the handsomest country girl by far that ever
went on legs. By meadow, creek, and wood, and dell,
so often we did walk, and the moonlight smiled on her
melting lips, and the night winds learned our talk. Jane
Jerusha was all to me, for my heart was young and true,
and loved with a double and twisted love, and a love
that was honest, too. I roamed all over the neighbours'
farms, and I robbed the wildwood bowers, and tore my
trousers and scratched my hands in search of choicest
flowers. In my joyous love I brought all these to my
Jerusha Jane ; but I wouldn't be so foolish now, if I
were a boy again. A city chap then came along, all
dressed up in fine clothes, with a shiny hat and shiny
vest and a moustache under his nose. He talked to her
of singing-schools (for her father owned a farm), and she
left me, the country love, and took the new chap's aim

PROSE POEMS. 281

And all that night I never slept, nor could I eat next
day, for I loved that girl with a fervent love that nought
could drive away. I strove to win her back to me, but
it was all in vain; the city chap with the hairy lip
married Jerusha Jane. And my poor heart was sick and
sore until the thought struck me, that just as good fish
still remained as ever was caught in the sea. So I went
to the Methodist church one night, and saw a dark brown
curl peeping from under a gipsy hat, and I married that
very girl. And many years have passed and gone, and
I think my loss my gain ; and I often bless that hairy
chap that stole Jerusha Jane.

The Old Oak.

Old Mr. Fuddle fell down in a puddle, just as a
runaway horse and shay came' dashing and splashing
and tearing that way. In helpless plight he roared with
fright ; the horse came quick, all gallop and kick, when
the old man raised his old oak stick ; the horse then
shied a little aside, for sticks were no friends to his well-
fed hide. Within a foot of Fuddle's toes, within an inch
of his ruby nose, the wheel comes whizzing, and on it
goes. Up rises Fuddle from out the puddle, and stands
on the road with a staggering stride, then wheeling away
from the scene of the fray, he flourished his stick with a
hero's pride.

Norah O'Neil.

You say you are lonely without me, that you sigh for
one glance of my eye ; you're blarneying always about
me — Oh ! why don't you to papa apply? You men are
so very deceiving, I can't believe aught that you say;
your love I will only believe in when my jointure is made

282 PROSE POEMS.

out aufait This trash about eyes, voice, and glances
may do for a miss in her teens ; but he who to me makes
advances must talk of his bank-stock and means. You
beg me to go galavanting, to meet you at the foot of the
lane — with a kiss, too ! why, man, you're ranting ! do
you think that I'm wholly insane ? When you meet a
young lady of sense, sir, don't whine about sorrow and
tears ; it's a matter of shillings and pence, sir ; no tale of
romance interferes. Oh, poverty's not at all funny (my
style I will never conceal) ; if I can't get a husband with
money, then I'll live and die Norah O'NeiL

A Moonlight Walk.

On a quiet day, in leafy June, when bees and birds
were all in tune, two lovers walked beneath the moon.
The night was fair — so was the maid ; they walked and
talked beneath the shade, with none to harm or make
afraid. Her name was Sue, and his was Jim ; and he
was fat and she was slim ; he took to her and she to him.
Says Jim to Sue, " By all the snakes that squirm among
the bush and brakes, I love you better than oatmeal
cakes." Says Sue to Jim, " Since you've begun it, and
been and come and gone and done it, I like you next
to a new bonnet." Says Jim to Sue, " My heart you've
busted ; but I have always girls mistrusted." Says Sue
to Jim, " I will be true ; if you love me as I love you,
no knife can cut our love in two." Says Jim to Sue,
" Through thick and thin, for your true love count me
in; I'll court no other girl ag'in." Jim leaned to Sue ;
Sue leaned to Jim ; his nose just touched her straw hat
brim : four lips met — went ahem ! ahem ! And then —

PROSE POEMS. 283

and then — and then — then ! Oh girls, beware of men

in June, and underneath the silver moon, when frogs and

crickets are in tune, lest you get your names in the papers

soon.

The Gingham Gown.

I met her in the sunset bright, her gingham gown was
blue ; her eyes, that danced with pure delight, were of
the same dear hue. And always, when the sun goes
down, I think of the girl in the gingham gown.

An Editorial.

'Tis sweet, on winter's night, at home to sit by fire and
taper; but ah, it is a wiser thing, by far, to read our
paper. Won't you take our paper ? Can't you take our
paper ? The joys of earth are little worth unless you take
our paper. Maidens waiting lovers true, you must take
our paper. Swains, who would not idle woo, you must
take our paper. Won't you take our paper ? Can't you
take our paper ? Love's joys below you'll never know,
unless you take our paper.

" Good-bye, Sweetheart, Good-bye ! "

" Farewell, farewell ! " I cried. " When I return thou'lt
be my bride — till then be faithful — sweet, adieu— in
silence oft I'll think of you." The glistening tears strained
her bright eyes — her thickening breath is choked with
sighs — her tongue denies her bosom's sway — " Farewell ! "
— I tore myself away. "One moment stay," she
stammered out; as quick as thought I wheeled about
" My angel, speak ! can aught be done to comfort thee
when I am gone ? I'll send thee specimens of art from
every European mart ; I'll sketch for thee each Alpine

284 PROSE POEMS.

scene, to let thee see where I have been. A stone from
Simplon's dreadful height shall gratify thy curious sight
111 climb the fiery Etna's side to bring home treasures
for my bride ; and oh ! my life, each ship shall bear a
double letter for my fair ! " " Ah, George ! " the weep-
ing angel said, and on my shoulder fell her head, " for
constancy, my tears are hostage — but when you write,
please pay the postage ! "

Something like Poetry.

Tennyson claims to be a great poet, and yet he may
fret and study and tear about for a week, and then can't
yank an ode to a sawmill, while the sweet singer of
Michigan only gave two minutes to whacking up one
beginning : " All hail to thee, most terrible invention,
Which chews up trees to any wished dimension, And
when something distracts a man's attention, Will break
him up so that a gov'ment pension Won't do him any
good. Oh, fierce devourer thou of men and wood ! "

A Printer's Litany.

From want of gold, from wives that scold, from
maidens old, by sharpers " sold " — preserve us !

From foppish sneers, mock auctioneers, and woman's
tears — deliver us !

From stinging flies, from coal-black eyes, and babies'
cries — deliver us !

From seedy coats, protested notes, and leaky boats —
protect us !

From creaking doors, a wife that snores, confounded
bores, and dry-goods stores — protect us !

Fom shabby hats, and torn cravats, and flying brick-
bats — save us !

INDEX.

Abrrnrthy, Dr., 210 (
Acrostic verses on writing, 48
Addison on chronograms, z 19 ; echo

song by, 131
Address to my Sweetheart, 147
Address to one of the Brethren, 80
Address to Queen Mary, 30
Advertisement, macaronic, 103
./Estivation, 114
After Kingsley, 277
Albury church, chronogram at, 1 19
Alexander I. of Russia, 216
Alliteration, 17
Alphabetic curiosities, 48
Altar, the, 263

American rivers, names of, 168 -
Amphigourie, 158
Anacreon, the Odes of, 24
Anacreon, the Scottish, 30
Anagram by Herbert, 206
Anagrams, selection of, 213
Andreas Rivetus, 199
An editorial, 283
Ane New Year's gift, 30
Anne, Queen, portrait of, 14
Anstruther Musomanik Society, 74
Approach of Evening, 65
Arte of English Poesie, 194
Aurora, alliterative address to, 43
Authors' names, anagrams on, 190
Autocrat of the Breakfast Table, the, 133
Autumn days, 171

Bales, Peter, 12

Beedell, Mr., 13

Benlowes, Edward, 259

Bible, a miniature, 12

Bible, errors in the, 242

Birthday of Shakespeare, on the, 178

Blanchard, Laman, 185

Bogart, an American poet, 84

Bolton, Cuthbert, 67

Bonaparte and the Echo, 130

Bonn, chronogram from, zi8

Book-titles, alliterative, 33
Bradstreet, Anne, 196
Breitmann Ballads, the, m
Bridget Brady, 165
Britannia's Pastorals, 131
Browne, William, 131, 261
Buggiados, the, 90, 91
Burns, 39

Burton, Dr. Hill, 229
Butler on echo verses, 122
Byron, Lord, 39

Call, the, 154

Camden, palindromic lines from, 221

Campkin, Mr. H., palindromes by, 223

Cannon, Rev. Edward, 164

Car, 205

Caxton, William, 62

Celtic verse, 19

Cento from popular poets, 191

Cento- Virgifianus, the, 176

Charles I., portrait of, 14

Charles II., King, anagrams on, 200,

20Z
Charlotte, Princess, anagram on, 209
Chartier, Allain, verses by, 67
Cherry and the Slae, the, 31
Chinese versification, 261
Christian and his Echo, the, 137
Christianity, anagram on the word, 210
Christine of Pisa, Moral Proverbs of, 61
Christ's Victory and Triumph, lines from,

Christus ascendit ad coelos, 177

Christus Cruxifixus, 47

Chronicle, a, 161

Churchill, 150

Clement, Jacques, 209

Coins and medals, chronographic, 119

Coleridge, 38, Z57

Collins, Mortimer, 40; single-rhymed

alphabet by, 55
Cologne, church at, chronogram from,

118

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FELICIA. By M. Betham -Edwards. Frontispiece by W. Bowles.

OLYMPIA. By R. E. Francillon.

GARTH. By Julian Hawthorne.

IN LOVE AND WAR. By Charles Gibbon.

WHAT WILL THE WORLD SAY P By Charles Gibbon.

FOR THE KING. By Charles Gibbon.

IN HONOUR BOUND. By Charles Gibbon.

UNDER THE GREENWOOD TREE. By Thomas Hardy.

THORNIOROFT'S MODEL. By Mrs. A. W. Hunt.

FATED TO BE FREE. By Jean Ingelow.

THE QUEEN OF OONNAUGHT. By Harriett Jay.

THE DARE COLLEEN. By Harriett Jay.

NUMBER SEVENTEEN. By Henry Kingsley.

OAX8HOTT CASTLE. By Henry Kingsley. With a Frontis-
piece by Shirley Hodson.

THE WORLD WELL LOST. By E. Lynn Linton. Illustrated
by J. Lawsom and Henry French.

THE ATONEMENT OF LEAM DUNDAS. By E. Lynn

Linton. With a Frontispiece by Henry Woods.

PATRICIA KEMBALL. By E. Lynn Linton. With a Frontis-
piece by G. Dv Mauribr.

THE WATERDALE NEIGHBOURS. By Justin McCarthy.

MY ENEMY'S DAUGHTER. By Justin McCarthy.

UNLEY ROOHFORD. By Justin McCarthy.

A FAIR SAXON. By Justin McCarthy.

DEAR LADY DISDAIN. By Justin McCarthy.

MISS MISANTHROPE. By Justin McCarthy. Illustrated by
Arthur Hopkins.

LOST ROSE. By Katharine S. Macquoid.

THE EVIL EYE, and other Stories. By Katharine S. Mac-
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22 BOOKS PUBLISHED BY

Piccadilly Novels — continued.
OPEN I SESAME! By Florence Marryat. Illustrated by

F. A. Frasbr.

TOXTOH AND GO. By Jean Middlemass.

WH1TELADIES. By Mrs. Oliphant. With Illustrations by A.
Hopkins and H. Woods.

THE BEST OF HUSBANDS. By James Payn. Illustrated by
J. Moyr Smith.

FALLEN FORTUNES. By James Payn.

HALVES. By James Payn. With a Frontispiece by J. Mahoney.

WALTER'S WORD. By James Payn. Illust. by J. Moyr Smith.

WHAT HE OOST HER. By James Payn.

LESS BLACK THAN WE'RE PAINTED. By James Payn.

BY PROXY. By James Payn. Illustrated by Arthur Hopkins.

UNDER ONE ROOF. By James Payn.

HEB MOTHER'S DARLING. By Mrs. J. H. Riddell.

BOUND TO THE WHEEL. By John Saunders.

GUY WATERMAN. By John Saunders.

ONE AGAINST THE WORLD. By John Saunders.

THE LION IN THE PATH. By John Saunders.

THE WAY WE LIVE NOW. By Anthony Trollops. Illust.

THE AMERICAN SENATOR. By Anthony Trollops.

DIAMOND OUT DIAMOND. By T. A. Trollops.

Post 8vo, illustrated boards, as. each.

Popular Novels, Cheap Editions of.

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Maid, Wife, or Widow P By I By Celia's Arbour. By Walter

Mrs. Alexander.

Beady-Money Mortlboy. By
Walter Besant and Jambs Rice.

The Golden Butterfly. By Au-
thors of " Ready-Money MorUboy."

This Son of Vulcan. By the same.
My Little Girl. By the same.
The Case of Mr. Lucraft By

Authors of "Ready-MoneyMortiboy."

With Harp and Crown. By

Authors of "Ready-MoneyMortiboy.

Besant and James Rice.

'Twas in Trafalgar's Bay. By

Walter Besant and James Rice.

Juliet's Guardian. By Mrs. H.
Lovett Cameron.

Surly Tim. By F. H. Burnett.

The Cure of Souls. By Mac-
laren Cobban.

The Woman in White. By
Wilkie Collins.

Antonina. By Wilkie Collins.

The Monks of Thelema. By BaflU - B ? Wilkie Collins.
Walter Besant and James Rice. I Hide and Seek. By the same.

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Popular Novels— continued.
The Queen of Hearts. By

Wilkib Collins.
The Dead Secret. By the same.
My Miscellanies. By the same.
The Moonstone. By the same.
Man and Wife. By the same.
Poor Miss Finch. By the same.
Miss or Mrs. P By the same.
TheNewMagdalen. By the same.
The Frozen Deep. By the same.
The Law and the Lady. By

Wilkib Collins.

The Two Destinies. By Wilkib

Collins.

The Haunted Hotel. By Wilkib

Collins.

Boxy. By Edward Egglbston.
Felicia. M. Bbtham-Edwards.
Filthy Lucre. By Albany db

Fonblanqub.

Olympia. By R. E. Francillon.

Dick Temple. By Jambs

Greenwood.

Under the Greenwood Tree.

By Thomas Hardy.

An Heiress of Bed Dog. By

Bret Harth.

The Luck of Roaring Gamp.

By Bret Harte.

Gabriel Conroy. Bret Harte.
Fated to be Free. By Jean

Ingblow.

Confidence. By Henry James,

Jun.

The Queen of Oonnaught. By

Harriett Jay.

The Dark Colleen. By Har-
riett Jay.
Number Seventeen. By Henry

Kingsley.

Oakflhott Castle. By the same.

Patricia KembalL By E.Lynn
Linton.

The Atonement of LeamDundas

By E. Lynn Linton.

The World Well Lost By E.
Lynn Linton.

The Waterdale Neighbours.

By Justin McCarthy.

My Enemy's Daughter. By

Justin McCarthy.
Linley Roohford. By the same.
A Fair Saxon. By the same.

DearLady Disdain. By the same.
Miss Misanthrope. By Justin

McCarthy.

Lost Rose. By Katharine S.

Macquoid.

The Evil Eye. By Katharine

S. Macquoid.

Open ! Sesame ! By Florence

Marryat.
Whiteladies. Mrs. Olifhant.
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Strathmore, By Ouida.
Chandos. By Ouida.
Under Two Flags. By Ouida.
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Dog of Flanders. By Ouida.
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Signa. By Ouida.
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Ariadne. By Ouida.
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Halves. By James Payn.
What He Cost Her. By ditto.
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Less Black than We're Painted.

By Jambs Payn.

The Best of Husbands. By

Jambs Payn.

BOOKS PUBLISHED BY

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Walter*! Word. By J. Payn.
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Her Mother '■ Darling. By Mrs.

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Gaslight and Daylight By
George Augustus Sala.

Bound to the WheeL By John

Saunders.

Guy Waterman. J. Saunders.

One Against the World. By
John Saunders.

The Lion in the Path. By John

and Kathekine Saunders.

Tales for the Marines. By

Walter Thornbury.

The Way we Live Now. By

. Anthony Trollops.

By
By

The American Senator.

Anthony Trollops.

Diamond Cut Diamond.

T. A. Trollops. .

An Idle Excursion. By Mark

Twain.

Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

By Mask Twain.

A Pleasure Trip on the Conti-
nent of Europe. By Mark Twain.

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The Twins of Table Mountain. By Bret Harts.
Mrs. Gainsborough's Diamonds. By Julian Hawthorne.
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Lindsay's Luck. By the Author of " That Lass o' Lowrie's."
Pretty Polly Pemberton. By Author of " That Lass o' Lowrie's."
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Plutarch's Lives of Illustrious Men.

Translated from the Greek, with Notes, Critical and Historical, and a
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Primitive Manners and Customs.

By James A Farrer.

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Prince of Argolis, The :

A Story of the Old Greek Fairy Time. By J. Moyr Smith. With
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Front (Father), The Final Reliques of.

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Myths and Marvels of Astronomy. By Rich. A. Proctor,

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Rabelais 9 Works.

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Rambosson's Astronomy.

By J. Rambosson, Laureate of the Institute of France. Translated
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— ^M^-^— ■ ' '■ ■■ ■■■ ■»■■■■ y^— — II ■■■■■■■— I ■

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" Secret Out" Series, The.

She Pyrotechnist's Treasury;

or, Complete Art of Making Fire-
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The Art of Amusing:

A Collection of Graceful Arts, Games,
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Edited by W. H. Ckrmbx. 200 Illus-
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The Merry Circle :

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Magician's Own Book :

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Senior's Travel and Trout in the Antipodes.

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«<

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hearty appreciation for all that is sublime and pathetic in natural scenery. That
there is an undue share of travel to the number of trout caught is certainly not
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Shakespeare and Shakespeareana :

Shakespeare, The First Folio. Mr. William Shakespeare's

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Shakespeare Music, The Handbook of. Being an Account of

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29

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