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Copyright,  1907, 

BY 

Ella  Wheeler  Wilcox 


wmmm 


The  story  of  Abelarci  and  Heloise   has   trailed 


across  the  centuries  like  a  huming  comet  across 


the  heavens.      Seven  hundred  years  have  not  di- 


minished its  fiery  splendor. 


The  tragic  history  contained  in  the  five  remark-- 


ihle  letters  left  hy  the  lovers  is  as  vivid  a  page  in 


the  Tvorld's    literature    as    though  Ahelard    and 


Heloise    had   lived,    loved    and    suffered    only   a 


decade  ago. 


In  emhodymg  these  letters  m  sonnet  form  I  have 


retained  to  a  great  degree  their  identical  language. 


In  no   instance  has  liherty  heen  taken  with  the 


original   meaning  or   purport.     The   sonnets  are 


therefore  little  more  than  a  rhyming  paraphrase 
of    the    immortal    love-letters    of   Ahelard    and 


Heloise. 


£ltillllh((b(|l 


tec 


.?^ 


Mm 

mdm 


jy  that  vast  love  and  pas- 
sion wnicn  I  bore  you, 
jBy  these  long  years  or 
i  solitude  and  griei, 
By  all  my  vows,  I  pray 
\  and  I  implore  you, 
_^ssu3i^e  my  sorro^vs 
i  with  a  sweet  relier. 
A  mong  these  holy  women,  sin  aDnorring, 


\v  hose  sno"w-^vnite  thoughts  fly  ever  to  the  C  ross, 
I  am  a  sinner,  with  my  passions  "warring, 
A.  11  unrepentant,  grieving  for  my  loss. 


Oh,  not  through  zeal,  religion  or  devotion. 

Did  I  abandon  those  dear  paths  ^ve  trod; 

I  rollo'wed  only  one  supreme  emotion, 

I  took  the  veil  for  Ao^lard — not  God* 

O  vows,  O  convent,  though  you  nave  estranged 

My  lover  s  heart,  behold  my  o^vn  unchanged ! 


^^<i«t  to  Attem»o  Fn 


ithin  the  breast  these  sa- 


cred garments  cover. 


Tnere  is  no  altar  of  eel 


es- 


tialfi 


ire: 


am    a  Tvoman  ^weeping 


or  my  lover. 


i< 


The  victim  of  a  hunger- 


ing heart  s  desire. 


Veiled  as  I  am,  behold  m  what  disord 


isoraer 


Your  Will  kas  plunged  me;  and  in  vain  I  try. 


^y  prayer  and  rite,  to  reach  some  tranquil  border, 
Wkere  virtues  blossom  and  where  passions  die. 


But  when  I  tkink  tke  conquest  gained,  some  tender 


And  radiant  memory  rises  from  the  past; 


Again  to  tkose  sweet  transports  I  surrender; 


Remembered  kisses  feed  me  while  I  fast. 


Tkougk  lost  my  lover,  still  my  love  endures; 


Tkougk  sworn  to  God,  my  life  is  wkolly  yours. 


^miBfe  ttt  AitMitim  W^ 


i  etore  the  altar^  even,  un- 


1    carry  that  lost   dream 


'With  all  its  charms; 


•^  ^i??  to  love  s  dear  over- 


tures consenting, 

1  hear  your  voice,  1  seek 


A.  gam  1  kno^v  the  rapture  and  the  languor. 


13  y  fate  forhidden  and  hy  vows  deharred; 


iSi  or  can  the  thought  of  Cj  od  in  all  -H-  is  anger. 


Drive  from  my  heart  the  thought  of  Abelard. 
My_widowed  nights,  my  days  of  rigorous  duty. 


my  resignation  of  the  'world  1  knevy. 


My  huried  youth,  my  sacrifice  of  beauty. 


your  sheltering  arms. 


Were  all  ohlations  offered  up  to  you. 

O  Master,  rlusoand.  Father,  let  me  move 


vv  ith  those  fond  names  your  heart  to  pitying  love. 


S^^^SMII iv 'W 


I  am  your  -wife.      Degpite  my  sacred  calling. 


Tnat  wrecked  two  liearts,  yet  still  I  am  your  wife! 


May  you  not,  tnen,  in  pity  for  my  sorro'w^ 


now  then  the  anguisk  of 


my  sad  condition. 


And  hreak  the  silence  of 


uneni 


ding  d 


ays; 


A 


ppease  me  'with  one  sen- 


tence of  contrition. 


For  that  command  which 
doomed  me  to  these  ways. 


Despite  my  vo'ws,  my  consecrated  life. 


Despite  the  fate  so  tragic  and  appalling. 


Permit  me  once  to  look  upon  your  face? 


Or,  that  denied,  may  I  not  comfort  horro'w 


B: 


a 


y  your  aiscourses  on  tne  means  o 


tii< 


)f  grace? 


I  ou  cast  your  pearls  hefore  unheeding  swinc: 


\\^ould  you  save  souls?  Then,  Ahelard,  save  mine. 


w\ 


MBB^^^I  V '  W) 


X  m  those  nours  Tvlien  soul 


and  body  mated 

I  n  tnat  wild  passion^whicli 


may  not  endure — 
Arm  those  hours  so  fer- 


vent and  so  fated. 


1  loved  you  ^vith  emotions 
not  all  pure. 


Y  et  even  then  the  mortal  man  -svas  never 
S  o  dear  as  was  the  grandeur  of  his  heart. 


A  nd  now  I  love  you,  and  shall  love  forever. 


1  hough  earthly  joys  no  more  may  play  their  part. 


S  mce  in  the  cloister  I  am  shut  ^vith  reason. 


Persuade  me  with  devotion  to  remain. 


In  our  communion  there  can  lurk  no  treason; 


You  caused  my  sorrovv^s,  now-  relieve  my  pain. 
At  your  command  I  chose  this  hated  lot: 


C  onsole  me  sometimes  ^vith  a  spoken  thought. 


l^iDiae  to  Atttrnga  ^ 


.11 


y  an  my  cnams,  my 


nai] 


bur- 


dens and  my  fetters. 


I  plead  w^ith  you  to  ease 
tneir  galling  >?v^eignt. 


And   witk  th 


e    soo 


tiling 


solace  of  your  letters. 


To  teacn  me  resignation 


to  my  fate. 


Since  you  no  more  may breatne  love  s  fervent  story. 


I  would  le  bride  of  keaven.      On,  tell  me  now! 


A^vake  in  me  an  ardor  for  tnat  glory. 


Xne  love  divine,  so  lacking  m  me  now! 


As  once  your  songs  related  all  love  s  pleasures. 


Relate  to  me  the  rapture  of  your  faith. 


Unlock  tte  storekouse  of  your  ne^v-f  ound  treasures 


And  lend  a  radiance  to  my  living  death. 


Ok,  tkink  of  me,  and  kelp  me  tkrougk  tke  years! 


Adieu! — ^I  blot  tkis  message  witk  my  tears. 


nowini 


ing  tk 


e  years 


of 


our 


delignt  were  past. 

And  tnose  seductive  days 


no  more  cou 


ui 


ure. 


I  sought  religion  s  fetters 


to  make  fast 


The     sinful     heart    that 


purpose 


d  to  b 


e  pure. 


In  this  seclusion,  to  conceal  my  shame: 


In  this  asylum,  to  forget.     Alas! 


rhe  very  silence  shouts  aloud  your  name: 


Through  every  sunheam  does  your  radiance  pass. 


1  fled,  to  leave  your  image  far  hehind. 


1  pictured  you  the  enemy  of  hope, 


Yet  still  I  seek  you,  seek  you  in  my  mind. 


And  do^vn  the  aisles  of  memory  I  grope. 


I  hate,  I  love,  I  pray,  and  I  despair. 


I  hlame  myself,  and  grief  is  everywhere. 


mmA4i^^^^.^ 


TBBSaiHB&SHi] TTm r   (^m 


i  ne  altars  ^vnere  1  grovel  bring  no  peace; 


eligion   bias  me  kolJ 


my 


thougnts  m  cneck. 


b  mce  1 


mce  love  in  me  can  have 


no  further  part; 

13  ut  as  wild  billows  JasK 


upon  a  wreck, 

bo  passions  rise  and  beat 


upon  my 


neart. 


The  habit  of  tne  penitent  J-  \vear. 


God  gives  not  need  nor  answer  to  my  prayer. 


B 


ecause 


tkeflc 


itk 


ames  \vithin  me  do  not  cease: 


They  are  but  bid  witn  asbes,  and  ^  lack 


Tbe  strengtb  to  flood  them  witb  a  grace  divme. 


F  or  memory  forever  drags  me  back 


And  bids  me  worsbip  at  the  olden  sbrme. 


Your  image  rises,  sbrouded  m  its  veil. 


And  all  my  resolutions  droop  and  fail. 


1  IX 

looked   into    the    li 


of  your  eyes. 

And  dared  tke  flames  of 


I  w^ould  forget,  and  think  tnat  you  forgot. 


eaven 


nell:  1  neard  you  speak. 


And  strove  no  longer  to 
be  strong  and  wise — 


r!/arth  s  rapture  lay  m  be- 
ing fond  and  weak. 


Oh,  paradox!  that  virtue  like  your  own. 


o  guilty  shame  transformed  a  holy  life. 


And  the  entrancing  music  of  your  tone 


Changed  peaceful  harmonies  to  jarring  strife. 


Our  wild  abandon  and  the  sinful  thrall 


Of  stolen  hours  of  bliss.     O  h,  bid  me  not 


The  memory  of  those  vanished  days  recall! 


While  you  remember,  ho"w  canl  forget? 


Or  hope's  star  dawn,  till  passion  s  sun  has  set? 


aat^nt»mftii»ftmtae 


X 


ax 


not  f  ( 


tk 


or  me  tnose  sacrec 


vo'ws  you 


took. 


A^Q  your  vocation  ruth- 
lessly profane: 


Sucn     blaspheniies     Go^ 
will  not  o  erlook, 


Nor  grant  salvation  till 
your  passions  v^rane. 


Your  constancy  gives  food  to  vain  desires 


And  your  affection  adas  to  my  offense; 


You  do  but  pour  on  recollection  s  fires 
Destructive  fuel,  of  tumultuous  sense. 


Convinced  ofsm,  of  sin  I  am  not  cured; 


Tbe  mind  repels  it,  but  tke  neart  invites. 


Ok,  give  not  tken  fresk  ^voes  to  be  endured. 
By  new  recitals  of  our  old  deligkts! 


I  faint  fceneatk  tke  burdens  tkat  I  bear. 


\A/itbout  tbe  increased  weigbt  of  your  despair. 


^ 


ifitlnyh'^i^flKffWi^ 


sauamiittttimiit&t 


XI 


nis    mortal     love,    when 
QTvelt  upon  with  joy. 


The  love  of  God  may  not 


anni 


hilate. 


Oh,  'would  you  ^;vith  old 


memories  destroy 


My  piety,  m  its  incipient 
state? 


And  can  you  near  confessions  such  as  tnese. 


And  tkrust  your  love  between  my  God  and  me? 


Witkdraw  yourself,  unhappy  jjeloise. 


Be  Heaven's  alone,  and  let  my  life  go  free. 


ly  vows  to  God  grow  f  eehle,  in  the  war 


\Vith  thoughts  of  you,  and  Duty's  voices  die. 


Unanswered,  down  my  soul's  dark  corridor. 


While  m  my  heart  is  passion's  desperate  cry. 


Drain  sorrow's  chalice,  bravely  take  your  cross; 


To  win  back  God,  lies  through  the  creature  s  loss, 


li&i^i^i^i&iA   * 


A 


Q 


XII 

ou  call  me  F  atner;  I  was 
parriciae : 


You  call  me  Master;  it 
"was  sm  I  taught: 
You   call    me    Husbanct, 
yet  you  "were  my  briae 
But  after  blight  and  ruin 
nad.  been  "wrought. 


j]3lot  out  those  words,  and  substitute  instead, 
I  The  darkest  titles  "wounded  pride  can  name. 


X  nrough  me  your  nonor  and  your  peace  lie  dead; 
I   took  your  virtue,  and  I  gave  you  shame. 
N  ot  ^ve  alone  in  passion  s  pit  "were  nurled; 
B  ecause  "we  railed,  shall  otner  lives  be  "weak? 
O  u*"  follies  nave  set  standards  for  the  "world; 
O  f  our  "Wild  amours  shall  tne  centuries  speak. 
F  or  my  salvation  let  your  tears  be  spent; 
A  dvance  in  virtue,  and  repent!  repent! 


toil! 


Jmm 


%i&AM,^  M^^^  A  A  A  ,An. 

^imflrtltt^^ffllMilBr^itfliltiii    ^Biiii 11  ^^iiiii^ii      iHliiiiiiiiiiiir-irB ■r^iiiilMiiilli       m -    lii 


K}      C 


mmim  to  AttftutM  r- 


XIII 

y  fortune  nas  been  al\vays 
in  extremes. 


Fate  loaded  me  with  fa- 
vors, ana  witn  "woe; 
Sne  lulled  me  in  tne  lap 

or  tender  dreams,  

1  hen  woke  me  "witn  the 
anguish  or  a  blow. 


Sne  flung  ner  cnoicest  blessings  at  my  feet, 

Tnen  took  tnem  all,  m  taking  you  away: 

Ana  in  proportion  as  the  past  was  s^veet. 

So  IS  tne  Ditter  of  my  life  to-day. 

The  envied  of  all  \vomen,  througn  your  love 
Mty  sorro^vs  claim  compassion  from  them  all; 


I  "was  Lut  lifted  to  fair  heignts  above,  

Tliat  men  and  angels  migbt  behold  my  fall.  _ 

Njjw  comes  tbe  last  affliction  from  fate's  store — -_ 
I  shall  behold  my  Abclard  no  more! 


DjgiatBtt^  to  AtitmMirr 


XIV 

ot  mine  the  right  to  mur- 


mur or  comiplain. 


For  I  alone  am  your  mis- 


fortune s  cause. 


I  am  tne  portal  to  your 

house  or  pain; 

For    Heloise    you  Iroke 


God  s  holy  laws. 


your  greatness  in  my  beauty  s  snare; 


You  found  destruction,  gazing  in  my  face; 


And  Ssinison's  fall  and  Solomon  s  despair 


Are  lived  again  in  Abelard's  disgrace. 


Yet  grant  me  tkis  poor  comfort,  for  my  dole- 


I  sought  not,  like  Delilan,  to  destroy; 


Mine  -was  the  passion-blmded  woman  s  role 


\Viio  gave  her  virtue  for  her  lover  s  joy. 


Convinced  of  love,  I  hastened  to  pour  out 


Life  8  dearest  treasures,  that  you  might  not  doubt. 


^raSESM^B! 


XV 


made  no  use  of  pretext  or 
dexense; 


1    valued  virtue,  onlyjto 
bestow; 


Like  ^vliite,  higli    noon- 


tide,  glaring  and  intense, 
L  ove  drowned  tke  ^vorld 
of  reason  m  its  glow. 


ITo  te  beloved  by  Abelard — tbat  tbougbt 
Absorbed  all  otber  purposes  like  flame, 
Sucb  bavoc  passion  in  my  bosom  wrougnt, 

1  banisbed  bonor,  and  invited  sbame. 

I  tbrust  out  duty,  and  installed  desire; 
il  aimed  at  notb^ng  but  possessing^you. 


Ob,  God,  could  I  but  quencb  witb  tears  tbe J  ire 


Of  memory  of  tbose  deligbts  we  knew! 


G)uld  I  forget^or^  grieve  for  wbat  was  done. 
Divine  forgiveness  migbt  be  sougbt,  and  won. 


give  tut  lip-repentance  for 


E  acli  night  I  see  my  A 


And  all  of  wisJom  in  your  utterance  seems. 


my  sins. 


And  no  contrition  to  my 


il  is  k 


soul  IS  known; 


Eacli     clay     my     lawless 


memory 


tegi 


ms 


Recounting  pleasures  that 


^vere  once  our  o^v^n. 


be 


lard  m  dreams. 


Entranced  -svith  love,  w^e  turn  away  from  books; 


And  all  of  rapture  in  your  w^ords  and  looks. 


And  I  remember  that  dear  place  and  spot 


Where  first  your  passion  spoke  and  kindled  mine. 


What  tide  of  time  can  wash  away,  or  hlot 

Such  mem  Vies  from  the  heart?    Has  love  divine. 


And  your  misfortune,  brought  you  into  peace. 


While  I  still  strive  with  storms  that  never  cease? 


o  you,  in  slumDer,  some- 
times stretcn  your  arms 
To     clasp     tne     yielding 
form  of  Heloise? 
Do  you  recall  my  kisses 
and  my  charms? 
Or  nave  those  pleasures 
lost  their  poM^er  to  please? 

[Within  tnese  •walls,  I  weep  and  ever  ^weep. 

Tnis  cloister  echoes  my  rebellious  cries: 

Worn  out  witn  sorroAv  I  relive  m  sleep 

The  unaoating  grief  that  never  dies. 


Shall  AbelarJ,  the  all-entrancing  theme. 
Consume  tne  soul  tnat  ought  to  seek  *^od  s  tnrone? 
rioTV  can  I  nope  tbe  Power  I  so  blaspheme, 
>Vill  grant  me  pardon,  or  my  sins  condone? 
On,  you  "Whose  face  I  never  more  may  see. 
Have  pity  on  my  pligkt,  and  pray  for  me! 


^^iia^Wm^^^^ 


XVIII 


rite  me  no  more.     Let  all 


comimunion  en 


i. 


We    left   tke  w^orlJ,  to 


purify  our  tnougnt. 


But  prayer  is  vain,  and 


penance  comes  to  nougnt. 


Wk 


en     human    passions 


livitn  our  nearts  contend. 


N  o  alckemist  witkin  tke  keart  can  klend 


D  esire  and  f  aitk;  tke  peace  wkick  we  kave  sougkt^ 


By  crucifixion  of  tke  flesk  is  kougkt. 


Let  rites  redoukle,  and  let  prayers  ascend. 


Your  letters  prove  my  foes.    ^Vkenl  w^ould  gird 


God's  armor  on,  and  pinion  to  tke  dust 


Regrets  tkat  kar  my  patk  to  Paradise, 


I  fall  inert,  kef  ore  eack  kurning  vv^ord; 


Resolve  is  slain,  as  ky  a  dagger-tkrust; 


And  Ckrist  is  kidden  ky  your  ardent  eyes. 


O  Id  kalf-tealcd  wounds 
reopen  in  my  breast, 
j  A  nd  tlood-drops  stam  tLe 
young  unsullied  sod 
! Wtere  walked  tkc  feet  of  F  aitli,  repentance-skod. 
My  prayerful  tko'ts  swerve  in  tkeir  upward  quest. 
And  carnal  love  is  once  again  tkeir  guest— 
^ain,  in  dreams,  is  pleasure's  patkway  trod. 
Write  me  no  more;  you  draw  me  back  to  eartb. 
Moved  by  your  words,  I  lose  tbe  better  way. 
My  purpose  falters,  and  my  courage  taints. 
Oti,  crusb  eacb  lawless  impulse  at  its  birtb, 
l^am  tbe  large  meaning  of  tbe  word  ''obey. 
And  drain  tbe  bitter  cbalice  of  tbe  saints. 


Ln 


m; 


xx_ 

rite  me  no  more, 
diligent  m  prayer; 


rrow 


Let  God,  not  Abelard,  D( 


your  concern. 

When  mem  ries  torture. 


la  wn 


i  and  when  passions  burn. 


Look  to  tke  Cross,  that 
uge  ox  despair; 


fref 


Its  outstretcKed  arms  are  ever  \vaiting  there. 


Immortal  life  is  sometking  we  must  earn 


By  conquest  of  tke  baser  self.      Oh,  turn 


Your  tkougkts f rom  eartb, to \vorlcls  divinely  fair. 


Let  silence  give  our  sorrow^ing  love  true  \vorth. 
Xo  love  you,  means  to  leave  you  witn  no  sign: 


To  love  me,  means  to  let  my  life  go  free. 
But  w^ken  deatk  calls  our  purged  souls  from  ea 
Ok,  may  your  senseless  clay  rest  close  to  mine! 
Adieu!  adieu!  and  write  no  more  to  me. 


,  Mm 


w 


BJKJDlgetDAIiemtti 


'J'-'ly  holy  meditations  are  not  scarred 


ly  thoughts  fly  unimpeded  to  tne  goal 
Detnroned  your  image  and  forever  barred. 


On,  let  my  infidelity  proclaim 


To  all  tne  ^vorld  now  fickle  love  can  change! 


A  rival  rules  tne  heart  once  deemed  so  true. 


XXI 


t  lastCj  od  sho^ws  me  proof 
of  H  is  regarci, 


And  tranquil  joys  replace 
grief  s  uncontrol. 


D 


esire  no 


longi 


er  riots  in 


my  sou 


1; 


one  are 


tke  i 


reams 


oi 


ove  ani 


d  A  belard. 


yy  scalding  tears  from  memory  s  brimming  bo^wl; 


Yet,  ere  you  think  me  sunk  m  utter  shame. 


Hear  my  disclosure  of  -wbat  seems  so  strange 


'Xis  vjod  alone  takes  rXeloise  from  you. 


o  more  "will  1  endeavor  to 


arouse. 


B  y  recollection  s  aoft,  se- 
ductive  art. 


The    guilty    fondness  of 
lyour  suffering  neart; 


fTo  fate  s  decree  my  bro-' 

ken  spirit  bows. 

I  tkink  of  you  no  longer  as  tlie  sjouse^ 


But  as  tke  f atker,  set  from  men  apart. 

Insensible  to  passion  s  poison  dart. 

The  boly  stew^ard  in  God  s  sacred  house. 


My  peace  >vas  bom  of  anguisb,  but  it  liveg, 
A  pbenix  risen  from  love's  funeral  pyre. 
Tbe  patb  to  Duty  is  tbe  patb  to     Hiss: 


Tkere  is  no  pleasure  save  Avbat  virtue  gives.__ 
And  yet — again  to  toucb  tbat  moutb  of  fire. 
To  lose  tbe  world,  and  find  it,  in  your  kiss! 


HOV  18  190V 


i,f( 


'  I 


I.  y 


ii! :'  'i#li 


,t    ;'■ 


^l^dittii^J^' 


fi' 


l\ 


h   .) 


;  -'iMIiy