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THE
Maiden & Married Life
OF
Mary Pov/ell,
AFTERWARDS
Mistress Milton.
NEW YORK:
DODD & MEAD, PUBLISHERS,
762 BROADWAY.
THE
Maiden and Married Life
OF
MARY POWELL,
Afterwards Mijlrcfs Milton.
JOURNALL.
Foreft Hill., Oxon, May ist, 1643.
* vf * tc- Seventeenth Birth-
daye. A Gyplie Woman at the Gate
woulde faine have tolde my Fortune;
but Mother chafed her away, faying
fhe had doubtlefTe harboured in fome
of the low Houfcs in Oxford., and
mighte bring us the Plague. Coulde
have cried for Vexation ; fhe had
promifed to tell me the Colour of
« my
1643.
May 1st.
1643.
May 2nd.
Maiden & Married Life
my Hufband's Eyes ; but Mother
fays fhe believes I fhall never have
one, I am foe lillie. Father gave
me a gold Piece. Dear A/other is
chafed, methinks, touching this
Debt of five hundred Pounds, which
Father fays he knows not how to
pay. Indeed, he fayd, overnighte,
his whole perfonal Eftate amounts
to but five hundred Pounds, his
Timber and Wood to four hundred
more, or thereabouts; and the Tithes
and Meffuages of Whateley are no
great Matter, being mortgaged for
about as much more, and he hath
lent Sights of Money to them that
won't pay, fo 'tis hard to be thus
preft. Poor Father ! 'twas good of
him to give me this gold Piece.
Coufin Rofe married to Mafler
Roger Agnew. Prefent, Father, Mo-
ther, and Brother of Rofe; Father,
Mother^
of Mary Powell.
Mother, Dick, Bob, Harjy, and I ;
Squire Pake and his Daughter
Audrey; an olde Aunt of Mafter
Roger's, and one of his Coufms, a
ftiffe-backed Man with large Eares,
and fuch a long Nofe! Coufin Ro/e
looked bewtifulle — pitie lb faire a
Girl fhould marry fo olde a Man^
'tis thoughte he wants not manie
Years of fifty.
New Misfortunes in the Poultrie
Yarde. Poor Mother''s Loyalty can-
not ftand the Demands for her beft
Chickens, Ducklings, &c., for the
Ufe of his Majefty's Officers fince
the King hath beene in Oxford.
She accufeth my Father of having
beene wonne over by a few faire
Speeches to be more of a Ro3^alift
than his natural Temper inclineth
him to ; which, of courfe, he will
not admit.
Whole
1643.
May 7th.
i643-
May Sth.
Maiden & Married Life
Whole Day taken up in a Vifit
to Ro/e, now a Week married, and
growne quite matronlie already. We
reached Sheep/cote about an Hour be-
fore Noone. A long, broade, ftrait
Walke of green Turf, planted with
Hollyoaks, Sunflowers, &c., and
fome earlier Flowers alreadie in
Bloom, led up to the rufticall Porch
of a truly farm-like Houfe, with
low gable Roofs, a long lattice
Window on either Side the Doore,
and three Cafements above. Such,
and no more, is Rofe's Houfe! But
flie is happy, for fhe came running
forthe, foe foone as fhe hearde
Clover'^s Feet, and helped me from
my Saddle all fmiling, tho' fhe had
not expelled to fee us. We had
Curds and Creame; and fhe wiflied
it were the Time of Strawberries,
for fhe fayd they had large Beds ;
and then my Father and the Boys
went
of Mary Powell.
went forthe to looke for Mafter
Agnew. Then Rofe took me up to
her Chamber, finging as fhe went ;
and the long, low Room was fweet
with Flowers. Sayd I, " Rofc, to
" be Miftrefs of this pretty Cottage,
" 'twere hardlie amifle to marry a
" Man as olde as Mafter RogerP
"Olde!" quoth fhe, " deare Moll,
"you mull; not deeme him olde;
" why, he is but forty-two ; and am
" not I twenty-three } " She lookt
foe earnefle and hurte, that I coulde
not but falle a laughing.
1643.
Mother gone to Sandford. She
hopes to get Uncle Jolm to lend
Father this Money. Father fays fhe
may try. 'Tis harde to difcouragc
her with an ironicalle Smile, when
fhe is doing alle fhe can, and more
than manie Women woulde, to help
Father in his Difficultie ; but fuche,
fhe
Ma J 9th.
Maiden & Married Life
1643. fhe fayth fomewhat bitterlie, is the
Lot of our Sex. She bade Father
mind that fhe had brought him three
thoufand Pounds, and afkt what had
come of them. Anfwered \ helped
to tille the Mouths of nine healthy
Children, and flop the Mouth of an
eafie Hufband; foe, with a Kifs, made
it up. I have the Keys, and am left
Miftreffe of alle, to m}^ greate Con-
tentment; but the Children clamour
for Sweetmeats, and Father fayth,
" Remember, Moll^ Difcretion is the
" better Part of Valour."
After Mother had left, went into
the Paddock, to feed the Colts with
Bread; and while they were putting
their Nofes into Robijts Pockets,
Dick brought out the two Ponies,
and fet me on one of them, and we
had a mad Scamper through the
Meadows and down the Lanes ; I
leading. Juft at the Turne of Hol-
ford''s
of Mary Powell.
ford's Clofe, came fhorte upon a Gen-
tleman walking under the Hedge,
clad in a fober, genteel Suit, and of
molt beautifulle Countenance, with
Hair like a Woman's, of a lovely
pale brown, long and filky, falling
over his Shoulders. I nearlie went
over him, for Clover's hard Forehead
knocked agaynft his Cheft ; but he
ftoode it like a Rock; and lookinge
firfle at me and then at Dicke, he
fmiled and fpoke to my Brother, who
feemed to know him, and turned
about and walked by us, fometimes
ftroaking Clovcr'^s fhaggy Mane. I
felte a little afhamed; for Dick had
fett me on the Poney jufh as I was,
my Gown fomewhat too ftiorte for
riding : however, I drew^e up my
Feet and let Clover nibble a little
Grafle, and then got rounde to the
neare Side, our new Companion
ftille between us. He offered me
fome
1643.
8
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
fome wild Flowers, and alkt me
theire Names ; and when I tolde
them, he fayd I knew more than
he did, though he accounted him-
felfe a prettie fayre Botanifte : and
we went on thus, talking of the
Herbs and Simples in the Hedges ;
and I fayd how prettie fome of theire
Names were, and that, methought,
though Adam had named alle the
Animals in Paradife, perhaps Eve
had named alle the Flowers. He
lookt earneftlie at me, on this, and
muttered " prettie." Then Dick
afkt of him News from London^ and
he fpoke, methought, refervedlie ;
ever and anon turning his bright,
thoughtfulle eyes on me. At length,
we parted at the Turn of the Lane.
I alkt Dick who he was, and he
told me he was one Mr. yohn Milton,
the Party to whom Father owed five
hundred Pounds. He was the Sonne
of
of Mary Powell.
of a BiickinghamJJiire Gentleman, he
added, well conne6ted, and very
fcholaric, but affe6led towards the
Parliament. His Grandlire, a zea-
lous Papifte, formerly lived in Oxon,
and difinherited the Father of this
Gentleman for abjuring the Romi/h
Faith.
When I found how faire a Gen-
tleman was Fathers Creditor, I be-
came the more interefted in deare
Mother's Succeffe.
Diek began to harpe on another
Ride to Sheep/cote this Morning, and
perfuaded Father to let him have
the bay Mare, foe he and I ftarted
at about Ten o' the Clock. Arrived
at Mafter Agnew's Doore, found it
open, no one in Parlour or Studdy ;
foe Dick tooke the Horfes rounde,
and then we went ftraite thro' the
Houfe, into the Garden behind,
which
1643.
May 13th.
lO
Maidefi & Married Life
1643. which is on a riling Ground, with
pleached Alleys and turfen Walks,
and a Peep of the Church through
the Trees. A Lad tolde us his
Miftrefs was with the Bees, foe we
walked towards the Hives ; and,
from an Arbour hard by, hearde a
Murmur, thous^h not of Bees, iflu-
mg
In this rufticall Bowre, found
Roger Agnew reading to Rofe and
to Mr. Milton. Thereupon enfued
manie cheerfulle Salutations, and Rofe
propofed returning to the Houfe, but
Mafter Agnezu fayd it was pleafanter
in the Bowre, where was Room for
alle ; foe then Rofe offered to take
me to her Chamber to lay alide my
Hoode, and promifed to fend a Jun-
kett into the Arbour ; whereon Mr.
Ascnezv fmiled at Mr. Milton, and
fayd fomewhat of " neat-handed
" Phiiiisr
As we went alonge, I told Rofe
I
of Mary Powell. ii
I had feene her Gueft once before, 1643.
and thought him a comely, pleafant
Gentleman. She laught, and fayd,
" Pleafant ? why, he is one of the
" greateft Scholars of our Time, and
" knows more Languages than you
" or I ever hearde of" I made
Anfwer, " That may be, and yet
" might not enfure his being plea-
" fant, but rather the contrary, for
" I cannot reade Greeke and Latin,
'' Ro/e, like you." Quoth Ro/e,
" but you can reade EnglifJi, and he
" hath writ fome of the lovelieft
" EngliJJi Verfes you ever hearde,
" and hath brought us a new Com-
" pofure this Morning, which Roger,
" being his olde College Friend, was
" difcuffing with him, to my greate
" Pleafure, when you came. After
" we have eaten the Junkett, he
" fhall beginne it again." " By no
" Means," faid I, " for I love Talking
" more
12
i643-
Maide7i & Married Life
» "
" more than Reading." However,
it was not foe to be, for Rofe woulde
not be foyled \ and as it woulde not
have been good Manners to decline
the Hearinge in Prefence of the
Poet, I was conftrayned to fuppreffe
a fecret Yawne, and feign Attention,
though, Truth to fay, it foone. wan-
dered ; and, during the lafl halfe
Hour, I fat in a compleat Dreame,
tho' not unpleafant one. Roger
having made an End, 'twas diverting
to heare him commending the Piece
unto the Author, who as gravely
accepted it; yet, with Nothing fulle-
fome about the one, or mifproud
about the other. Indeed, there was
a fedate SweetnefTe in the Poet's
Wordes as well as Lookes \ and
fhortlie, waiving the Difcuffion of
his owne Compofures, he beganne
to talke of thofe of other Men, as
Shak/peare, Spen/er, Cowley, Ben
Jon/on,
of Mary Powell.
Jon/on, and of Taffo^ and Tajfd's
Friend the Marquis of Villa^ whome,
it appeared, Mr. Miltoji had Know-
ledge of in Italy. Then he aikt me,
woulde I not willingly have feene
the Country of Romeo and Juliet,
and preft to know whether I loved
Poetry ; but finding me loath to tell,
fayd he doubted not I preferred Ro-
mances, and that he had read manie,
and loved them dearly too. I fayd,
I loved Shakfpcare^s Plays better than
Sidney's Arcadia ; on which he cried
" Righte," and drew nearer to me,
and woulde have talked at greater
length ; but, knowing from Rofe
how learned he was, I feared to
fhew him I was a fillie Foole ; foe,
like a fillie Foole, held my Tongue.
Dinner ; Eggs, Bacon, roaft Ribs
of Lamb, Spinach, Potatoes, fa-
voury Pie, a Brentford Pudding,
and Cheefecakes. What a pretty
Houfewife
13
1643.
14 Maiden & Married Life
—
1643. Houfewife Rofe is ! Roger's plain
Hofpitalitie and fcholaric Difcourfe
appeared to much Advantage. He
alkt of News from Paris ; and Mr.
Milton fpoke much of the SwediJJi
AmbalTadour, Dtttch by Birth ; a
Man renowned for his Learning,
Magnanimity, and Misfortunes, of
whome he had feene much. He
tolde Rofe and me how this Mifter
Va7i der Groote had been unjuflHe
cafte into Prifon by his Countrymen ;
and how his good Wife had fhared
his Captivitie, and had tried to get
his Sentence reverfed ; faiHng which,
fhe contrived his Efcape in a big
Cheft, which fhe pretended to be
full of heavie olde Bookes. Mr.
Alilton concluded with the Excla-
mation, " Indeede, there never was
" fuch a Woman;" on which, deare
Roger, whome I bcginne to love,
quoth, " Oh yes, there are manie
fuch,
a
of Mary Powell.
15
" fuch, — we have two at Table
" now." Whereat, Mr. Milton
fmiled.
At Leave-taking preffed Mr. Ag-
new and Ro/e to come and fee us
foone ; and Dick afkt Mr. Alilton
to fee the Bowling Greene.
Ride Home, delightfulle.
1643.
Thought, when I woke this Morn-
ing, I had been dreaminge of St.
Paul let down the Wall in a Bafket ;
but founde, on more clofely examin-
ing the Matter, 'twas Grolius carried
down the Ladder in a Cheft ; and
methought I was his Wife, leaninge
from the Window above, and crying
to the Souldiers, " Have a Care, have
a Care ! " 'Tis certayn I fhoulde have
betraied him by an Over-anxietie.
"Rcfolved to give Father a Shcepf-
cote Dinner, but Margery affirmed
the Haunch woulde no longer keepe,
fo
May i4tli.
1 6 Maiden & Afarrzed Life
1643. lb was forced to have it dreft, though
meaning to have kept it for Com-
panie. Little Kate, w^ho had been
out alle the Morning, came in w^ith
her Lap full of Butter-burs, the
which I was glad to fee, as Mother
efteemes them a fovereign Remedie
'gainft the Plague, which is like to
be rife in Oxford this Summer, the
Citie being fo overcrowded on ac-
count of his Majeflie. While laying
them out on the Stille-room Floor,
in burfts Robin to say Mr. Agnew
and Mr. Milton were with Father at
the Bowling Greene, and woulde
dine here. Soe was glad Margery
had put down the Haunch. 'Twas
paft One o' the Clock, however, be-
fore it coulde be fett on Table ; and
I had jufh run up to pin on my Car-
nation Knots, when I hearde them
alle come in difcourfing merrilie.
At Dinner Mr. Milton afkt Robin
of
of Mary Powell.
of his Studdies ; ^md I was in Payne
for the deare Boy, knowing him to
be better affeaed to his 'out-doore
Recreations than to his Booke ; but
he anfwered boldlie he was in Ovid^
and I lookt in Mr. Milton's Face to
gueffe was that goode Scholarfhip
or no ; but he turned it towards my
Father, and fayd he was trying an
Experiment on two young Nephews
of his owne, whether the reading
thofe Authors that treate of phyfical
Subje6ls mighte not advantage them
more than the Poets ; whereat my
Father jefted with him, he being
himfelfe one of the Fraternitie he
feemed to defpife. But he uphelde
his Arijumente fo bravelie, that
Father liftened in earnefle Silence.
Meantime, the Cloth being drawne,
and I in Feare of remaining over
long, was avifed to withdrawe my-
felfe earlie, Robin follow^ing, and
c begging
17
1643.
i8
1643.
May 15th.
Maiden & Married Life
begging me to goe downe to the
Fifh-ponds. Afterwards alle the
others joyned us, and we fate on
the Steps till the Sun went down,
when, the Horfes being broughte
round, our Guefts tooke Leave
without returning to the Houfe.
Father walked thoughtfullie Home
with me, leaning on my Shoulder,
and fpake little.
After writing the above laft Night,
in my Chamber, went to Bed and
had a moft heavenlie Dreame. Me-
thoughte it was brighte, brighte
Moonlighte, and I was walking
with Mr. Milto7i on a Terrace, — not
our Terrace, but in fome outlandifh
Place ; and it had Flights and Flights
of green marble Steps, defcending,
I cannot tell how farre, with ftone
Figures and Vafes on everie one.
We went downe and downe these
Steps,
of Mary Powell. 19
Steps, till we came to a faire Piece 1643.
of Water, flill in the Moonlighte ;
and then, methoughte, he woulde
be taking Leave, and fayd much
aboute Abfence and Sorrowe, as
tho' we had knowne cache other
fome Space ; and alle that he fayd
was delightfulle to heare. Of a
fuddain we hearde Cries, as of Dif-
treffe, in a Wood that came quite
down to the Water's Edge, and Mr.
Milton fayd, " Hearken ! " and then,
" There is fome one being flainc in
" the Woode, I muft goe to refcue
"him;" and foe, drewe his Sword
and ran off. Meanwhile, the Cries
continued, but I did not feeme to
mind them much ; and, looking
ftedfaftlie down into the cleare
Water, coulde fee to an immeafur-
able Depth, and beheld, oh, rare !
Girls fitting" on sflifteninof Rocks,
far downe beneathe, combing and
braiding
20 Maiden & Married Life
1643. braiding their brighte Hair, and
talking and laughing, onlie I coulde
not heare aboute what. And theire
Kirtles were like fpun Glafs, and
theire Bracelets Coral and Pearl ;
and I thought it the faireft Sight
that Eyes coulde fee. But, alle at
once, the Cries in the Wood af-
frighted them, for they ftarted,
looked upwards and alle aboute,
and began fwimming thro' the cleare
Water fo faft, that it became troubled
and thick, and I coulde fee them noe
more. Then I was aware that the
Voices in the Wood were of Dick
and Harry ^ calling for me; and I
foughte to anfwer, " Here ! " but
my Tongue was heavie. Then I
commenced running towards them,
through ever fo manic greene Paths,
in the AVood ; but ftill, we coulde
never meet ; and I began to fee
grinning Faces, neither of Man nor
Beafte,
of Mary Powell.
Beafte, peeping at me through the
Trees ; and one and another of them
called me by Name ; and in greate
Feare and Paine I awoke !
^ *
Strange Things are
Dreames. Dear Mother thinks much
of them, and fayth they oft portend
coming Events. My Father holdeth
the Opinion that they are rather
made up of what hath alreadie come
to pafTe ; but furelie naught like this
Dreame of mine hath in anie Part
befallen me hithertoe ?
^ «• -If * What ftrange Fable
or Mafque were they reading that
Day at Sheep/cote ? I mind not.
Too much bufied of late to write,
though much hath happened which
I woulde fain remember. Dined at
Shotover yefterday. Met Mother^
who is coming Home in a Day or
two, but helde fhort Speech with
me
21
1643.
May 2otli
22
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
me alide concerning Houfewifery.
The Agneivs there, of courfe : alfoe
Mr. Milton^ whom we have feene
continualHe, lately ; and I know not
how it flioulde be, but he feemeth
to like me. Father affefts him
much, but Mother loveth him not.
She hath feene little of him ; per-
haps the lefs the better. Ralph
Hewlett, as ufuall, forward in his
rough Endeavours to pleafe ; but,
though no Scholar, I have yet Senfe
enough to prefer Mr. Miltor^s Dif-
courfe to his. -J^- * * ^«- I wifh I were
fonder of Studdy ; but, iince it can-
not be, what need to vex ? Some are
born of one Mind, fome of another.
Rofe was alwaies for her Booke ; and,
had Rofe beene no Scholar, Islx.Agiiew
woulde, may be, never have given
her a fecond Thoughte : but alle are
not of the fame Way of thinking.
«■ * * « ^ fg^ Lines received
from
of Mary Powell.
from Mothers " fpoilt Boy," as Fa-
ther hath called Brother Bill, ever
lince he went a foldiering. Blurred
and mis-fpelt as they are, fhe will
prize them. Trulie, we are none
of us grate Hands at the Pen ; 'tis
well I make this my Copie-booke.
*
* -K-
Oh, Itrange Event !
Can this be Happineffe ? Why,
then, am I foe feared, foe mazed,
foe prone to Weeping ? I woulde
that Mother were here. Lord have
Mercie on me a finfulle, fillie Girl,
and guide my Steps arighte.
* * * ^' It feemes like a Dreame,
(I have done noughte but dreame of
late, I think,) my going along the
matted Paffage, and hearing Voices
in my Father's Chamber, juft as my
Hand was on the Latch ; and my
withdrawing my Hand, and going
foftlie away, though I never paufed
at
23
1643.
May 22d.
24
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
at difturbing him before ; and, after
I had beene a full Houre in the
Stille Room, turning over ever foe
manie Trays full of dried Herbs and
Flower-leaves, hearing him come
forthe and call, " Moll, deare Moll,
" w^here are you ? " vv^ith I know
not what of ftrange in the Tone of
his Voice ; and my running to him
haftilie, and his drawing me into his
Chamber, and doling the Doore.
Then he takes me round the Waifte,
and remains quite filent awhile ; I
gazing on him fo ftrangelie ! and at
length, he fays with a Kind of Sigh,
" Thou art indeed but young yet !
" fcarce feventeen, — and frefh, as
" Mr. Milton fays, as the earlie May ;
too tender, forfooth, to leave us
' yet, fweet Child ! But what wilt
fay, Moll, when I tell thee that a
" well-efteemed Gentleman, whom
" as yet indeed I know too little of,
" hath
u
a
of Mary Powell.
" hath craved of me Accefs to the
" Houfe as one that woulde win
" your Favour ?"
Thereupon, fuch a fuddain Faint-
nefs of the Spiritts overtooke me,
(a Thing I am noe way fubjeft to,)
as that I fell down in a Swound at
Father's Feet ; and w^hen I came to
myfelfe agayn, my Hands and Feet
feemed full of Prickles, and there
was a Humming as of Ro/e's Bees,
in mine Ears. Lcttice and Margery
were tending of me, and Father
watching me full of Care ; but foe
foone as he faw me open mine Eyes,
he bade the Maids ftand afide, and
fayd, ftooping over me, ^' Enough,
" dear Moll ; we will talk noe more
" of this at prefent." " Onlie juft
" tell me," quoth I, in a Whifper,
"who it is.'-' "Gueffe," fayd he.
" I cannot," I foftlie replied ; and,
with the Lie, came fuch a Rufh of
Blood
25
1643-
26
Maiden & Married Life
1643. Blood to my Cheeks as betraied me.
" I am fure you have, though," fayd
deare Father^ graveHe, " and I neede
" not lay it is Mr. Milton^ of whome
" I know Httle more than you doe,
" and that is not enough. On the
" other Hand, Roger Ag7iew fayth
" that he is one of whome we
" can never know too much, and
" there is fomewhat about him
" which inclines me to beheve it."
"What will Mother foy?" inter-
rupted I. Thereat Fathcr'^s Coun-
tenance changed ; and he haftilie
anfwered, " Whatever flie likes : I
" have an Anfwer for her, and a
" Qiieftion too ; " and abruptlie left
me, bidding me keepe myfelfe quiet.
But can I ? Oh, no ! Father hath
fett a Stone rolling, unwitting of its
Courfe. It hath proftrated me in
the firft Inftance, and will, I mif-
doubt, hurt my Mother. Father is
bold
of Mary Powell. 27
bold enow in her Abfence, but when 1643.
Ihe comes back will leave me to face
her Anger alone ; or elfe, make fuch
a Stir to fhew that he is not governed
by a Woman, as wille make Things
worfe. Meanwhile, how woulde
I have them ? Am I moft pleafed
or payned ? difmayed or flattered ?
Indeed, I know not.
•55- * ^ -K- J ^j^-j £-Qg forry to have
fwooned. Needed I have done it,
merelie to heare there was one who
foughte my Favour ? A3'e, but one
foe wife ! fo thoughtfulle ! fo unlike
me !
Bedtime ; fame Dayc.
* * * * Who knoweth what a
Daye will bring forth } After writing
the above, I fate like one ftupid,
ruminating on I know not what,
except on the Unlikelihood that one
foe w^ife wouldc trouble himfelfe to
feeke for aught and yet fail to zuin.
After
28
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
After abiding a long Space in mine
owne Chamber, alle below feeming
ftill, I began to wonder fhoulde ,we
dine alone or not, and to have a
hundred hot and cold Fitts of Hope
and Feare. Thought I, if Mr.
Milton comes, afTuredlie I cannot
goe down ; but yet I mufl; ; but yet
I will not; but yet the beft will be
to condu6t myfelfe as though Nothing
had happened ; and, as he feems to
have left the Houfe long ago, maybe
he hath returned to Sheep/cote, or
even to London. Oh that London !
Shall I indeede ever fee it ? and the
rare Shops, and the Play-houfes, and
PauVs^ and the Towre? But what
and if that ever comes to pafs ?
Mufb I leave Home ? dear Forejl
Hill? and Father and Mother, and the
Boys? more efpeciallie 7^6'(^/;^/ Ah!
but Father will give me a long Time
to think of it. He will, and mull.
Then
of Mary Powell.
Then Dinner-time came ; and,
with Dinner-time, Uncle Hewlett
and Ralphs Squire Paice and Mr.
Milto7i. We had a huge Sirloin,
foe no Feare of fhort Commons.
I w^as not ill pleafed to fee foe
manie : it gave me an Excufe for
holding my Peace, but I coulde
have wifhed for another Woman.
However, Father never thinks of
that, and Mother will foone be
Home. After Dinner the elder
Men went to the Bowling-grcene
with Dick and Ralph; the Boys to
the Fifh-ponds ; and, or ever I was
aware, Mr. Milton was walking with
me on the Terrace. My Dreame
came foe forcibly to Mind, that
my Heart feemed to leap into my
Mouth ; but he kept away from
the Fifh-ponds, and from Leave-
taking, and from his morning Dif-
courfe with my Father^ — at leafl
for
29
1643.
30
Maiden & Married Life
1643. for awhile ; but fome Way he got
round to it, and fayd foe much, and
foe well, that, after alle my Father's
bidding me keepe quiete and take
my Time, and mine owne Refolu-
tion to think much and long, he
never refted till he had changed the
whole Appearance of Things, and
made me promife to be his, wholly
and trulie. — And oh ! I feare I have
been too quickly wonne !
May 23d. May 23d. At leafte, fo fayeth the
Calendar; but with me it hath beene
trulie an April Daye, alle Smiles and
Teares. And now my Spiritts are
foe perturbed and difmaid, as that
I know not whether to weepe or
no, for methinks crying would re-
lieve me. At firft waking this
Morning my Mind was elated at
the Falhtie of my Moiher's Notion,
that no Man of Senfe woulde think
me
of Mary Powell.
me worth the having ; and foe I got
up too proude, I think, and came
down too vain, for I had fpent an
unufuall Time at the Glaffe. My
Spiritts, alfoe, were foe unequall,
that the Boys took Notice of it, and
it feemed as though I coulde breathe
nowhere but out of Doors ; fo the
Children and I had a rare Game of
Play in the Home-clofe ; but ever
and anon I kept looking towards the
Road and liftening for Horfes' Feet,
till Robin fayd, " One would think
" the King was coming : " but at
laft came Mr. Milton^ quite another
Way, walking through the Fields
with huge Strides. Kate faw him
firfle, and tolde me ; and then fayd.
What makes 3^ou look foe pale?"
* -x- * * *
We fate a good Space under the
Hawthorn Hedge on the Brow of
the Hill, liftening to the Mower's
Scythe,
31
1643.
32
i643-
Maiden & Married Life
Scythe, and the Song of Birds, which
feemed enough for him, without
talking ; and as he fpake not, I helde
my Peace, till, with the Sun in my
Eyes, I was like to drop afleep ;
which, as his own Face was from
me, and towards the Landfkip, he
noted not. I was jufh aiming, for
Mirthe's Sake, to fteale away, when
he fuddainlie turned about and fell
to fpeaking of rurall Life, Happi-
neffe. Heaven, and fuch like, in a
Kind of Rapture ; then, with his
Elbow half railing him from the
Grafs, lay looking at me ; then
commenced humming or linging I
know not what Strayn, but 'twas of
' becrli Occhi ' and ' Ckioma aurata ; '
and he kept fmiling the while he
fang.
After a Time we went In-doors ;
and then came my firfte Pang : for
Father founde out how I had pledged
myfelfe
of Mary Powell.
myfelfe overnighte ; and for a oNIo-
ment looked foe grave, that my
Heart inifgave me for having beene
foe haftie. However, it soonc paff-
ed off; deare Fathers Countenance
cleared, and he even feemed nierrie
at Table ; and foon after Dinner
alle the Party difperfed fave Mr.
Milton^ who loitered with me on
the Terrace. After a fliort Silence
he exclaimed, " How good is our
" God to us in alle his Gifts ! For
" Inftance, in this Gift of Love,
" whereby had he withdrawn from
" vilible Nature a thoufand of its
" glorious Features and gay Colour-
" ings, we fhoulde ftill poffefs, from
" within, the Means of throwing
" over her clouded Face an entirelie
" different Hue ! while as it is, what
" was plcafing before now pleafeth
" more than ever ! Is it not foe,
"fweet Moll? INIay I exprefs thy
1)
" Feelings
T^Z
1643-
34 Maiden & Married Life
1643. " Feelings as well as mine own,
" unblamed ? or am I too adven-
" turous ? You are lilent ; well,
" then, let me believe that we think
" alike, and that the Emotions of
" the few lafte Hours have given
" fuch an Impulfe to alle that is
" high, and fweete, and deepe, and
" pure, and holy in our innermofte
" Hearts, as that we feeme now
" onlie firfte to tafte the Life of
" Life, and to perceive how much
" nearer Earth is to Heaven than
"we thought! Is it foe? Is it not
"foe?" and I was conftrayned to
fay, " Yfs," at I fcarcelie knew
what ; grudginglie too, for I feared
having once alreadie fayd " Yes "
too foone. But he faw ' nought
amilTe, for he was expecting nought
amiffe ; foe went on, moft like Truth
and Love that Lookes could fpeake
or Words founde : " Oh, I know
"it.
of Mary Powell.
''it, I feel it: — henceforthe there
" is a Life referved for us in which
" Angels may f^'mpathize. For this
" moft excellent Gift of Love fhall
" enable us to read together the
" whole Booke of San6lity and Vir-
" tue, and emulate cache other in
" carrying it into Practice ; and as
" the wife Magiaiis kept theire Eyes
" fheadfaftlie fixed on the Star, and
" followed it righte on, through
" rough and fmoothe, foe we, with
" this bright Beacon, which indeed
" is fet on Fire of Heaven, fhall
" pafs on through the peacefull
" Studdies, furmounted Adverlities,
" and vi6lorious Agonies of Life,
" ever looking fteadfaftlie up ! "
Alle this, and much more, as
tedious to heare as to write, did I
liften to, firfte with flagging Atten-
tion, next with concealed Weari-
neffe ; — and as Wearineffe, if in-
dulged,
35
1643.
3^
i643-
Maiden & Married Life
dulged, never is long concealed, it
foe chanced, by Ill-luck, that Mr.
Milton^ fuddainlie turning his Eyes
from Heaven upon poor me, caughte,
I can fcarcelie expreffe how flighte,
an Indication of Difcomforte in my
Face : and inftantlie a Cloud crofTed
his
owne
though
as thin as that
through w^hich the Sun fliines while
it floats over him. Oh, 'twas not
of a Moment ! and yet in that Moment
we feemed cache to have feene the
other, though but at a Glance, under
new Circumftances : — as though two
Perfons at a Mafquerade had juft
removed their Mafques and put
them on agayn. This gave me my
feconde Pang: — I felt I had given
him Pa3'n ; and though he made as
though he forgot it dire6lly, and I
tooke Payns to make him forget it,
I coulde never be quite fure whether
he had.
My
of Mary Powell.
* * « * My Spiritts were Ibe
dafhed by this, and by learning his
Af>'e to be foe much more than I
had deemed it, (for he is thirty-five !
who coulde have thoughte it ?) that
I had, thenceforthe, the Aire of
being much more difcreete and pen-
five than belongeth to my Nature ;
whereby he was, perhaps, well
pleafed. As I became more grave
he became more gay ; foe that we
met cache other, as it were, half-
way, and became righte pleafant.
If his Countenance were comel}^
before, it is quite heavenlie now ;
and yet I qucftion whether my
Love increafeth as rapidlie as my
Feare. Surelie my FoU}^ will prove
as diftaftefull to him, as his over-
much Wifdom to me. The Dread
of it hath alarmed me alreadie.
What has become, even now, of
alle my gay Vifions of Marriage,
and
37
1643.
38
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
May 24th.
and London, and the Play-houfes,
and the Towre? The}' have faded
away thus earHe, and in their Place
comes a Foreboding of I can fcarce
fay what. I am as if a Child,
receiving from fome olde Fairy the
Gift of what feemed a fayre Doll's
Houfe, fliould haftilie open the
Doore thereof, and ftarte back at
beholding nought within but a huge
Cavern, deepe, high, and vafte ; in
parte glittering with glorious Chryf-
tals, and the Reft hidden in obfcure
DarknefTe.
Deare Rofe came this Morning.
I flew forthe to welcome her, and
as I drew near, fhe lookt upon me
with fuch a Kind of Awe as that I
could not forbeare laughing. Mr.
Milton having flept at Sheep/cote,
had made her privy to our Engage-
ment ; for indeede, he and Mr. Agnew
are
of Mary Powell.
are fuch Friends, he will keep No-
thing from him. Thus Rofe heares
it before my owne Mother, which
fhoulde not be. When we had
entered my Chamber, fhe embraced
me once and agayn, and feemed to
think foe much of my uncommon
Fortune, that I beganne to think
more of it myfelfe. To heare her
talke of Mr. Milton one would have
fuppofed her more in Love with him
than I. Like a Bookworm as fhe is,
ftie fell to prayfing his Compofures.
" Oh, the leafle I care for in him is
" his Verfing," quoth I 5 and from
that Moment a Spiritt of Mifchief
tooke Poffeffion of me, to do a
thoufand heedleffe, ridiculous Things
throughoute the Day, to fhew Rofe
how little I fet b}^ the Opinion of foe
wife a Man. Once or twice Mr.
Milton lookt earneftlie and queftion-
inglie at me, but I heeded him not.
Difcourfe
39
1643-
40
i643-
Maiden & Married Life
it * * •^ Difcourse at Table graver
and lels plealant, methoughte, than
heretofore. Mr. Bujire having dropt
in, v^as avifed to aik Mr. Milton why,
having had an univerlity Education,
he had not entered the Church. He
repHed, drylie enough, becaufe he
woulde not fubfcribe himfelfe Slave
to anie Formularies of Men's mak-
ing. I faw Father bite his Lip ;
and Roger Agnew mildly obferved,
he thought him wrong ; for that it
was not for an Individual to make
Rules for another Individual, but
yet that the generall Voice of the
Wife and Good, removed from the
pettie Prejudices of private Feeling,
mighte pronounce authoritativelie
wherein an Individual was righte
or wrong, and frame Laws to keepe
him in the righte Path. Mr. Milton
replyed, that manie Fallibles could
no more make up an Infallible than
manie
of Mary Powell.
manie Finites could make an Infinite.
Mr. Agnew rejoyned, that ne'erthe-
leffe, an Individual who oppofed
himfelfe agaynll the generall Cur-
rent of the Wife and Good, was,
leafte of alle, likelie to be in the
Right ; and that the Limitations of
human Intelle6l which made the
Judgment of manie wife Men liable
to Question, certainlie made the
Judgment of anie wife Man, felf-
dependent, more queftionable ftill.
Mr. Milton fhortlie replied that there
were Particulars in the required
Oaths which made him unable to
take them without Perjurie. i\nd
foe, an End : but 'twas worth a
World to fee Rofe looking foe
anxioullie from the one Speaker to
the other, defirous that each fhoulde
be vi6torious ; and I was sorry that
it lafted not a little longer.
As Rofe and I tooke our Way to
the
41
1643-
42
i643-
jSIaideii & Married Life
the Summer-houfe; fhe put her Arm
round me, laying, " How charming
" is divine Philolbphie ! " I coulde
not helpe afking if fhe did not
meane how charming was the Phi-
lofophie of one particular Divine ?
Soe then flie difcourfed with me of
Things more feemhe for Women
than Philofophie or Divinitie either.
OnHe, when Mr. Agnezu and Mr.
Milton joyned us, fhe woulde afke
them to repeat one Piece of Poetry
after another, beginning with Ca-
rew's —
" He who loves a rojie Checker
Or a coral Lip admires, — "
And crying at the End of cache,
" Is not that lovely ? Is not that
" divine ? " I franklie fayd I liked
none of them foe much as fome
Mr. Agnew had recited, concluding
with —
" Mortals
of Mary Powell.
" Mortals that would follow me,
Love Virtue : fJie alone is free P
Whereon Mr. Milton furprifed me
with a fuddeii Kifs, to the immo-
derate Mirthe of Rofe, who fayd I
coulde not have looked more dif-
compofed had he pretended he was
the Author of thofe Verfes. I after-
wards found he was ; but I think
ihe laught more than there was
neede.
We have ever been confidered a
fufficientlie religious Familie : that
is, we goe regularly to Church
on Sabbaths and Prayer-dayes, and
keepe alle the Fafts and Feftivalles.
But Mr. Milton's Devotion hath at-
tayned a Pitch I can neither imitate
nor even comprehende. The fpi-
rituall World feemeth to him not
onlie reall, but I may almofte fay
vifible. For Inftance, he tolde Rofe,
it
43
1643.
44
Maiden & Married Life
1643. it appears, that on Tuefday Nighte,
(that is the fame Evening I had
promifccl to be his,) as he went
homewards to his Farm-lodging, he
fancied the Angels whifperinge in
his Eares, and finging over his
Head, and that inftead of going to
his Bed like a reafonable Being, he
lay down on the Grafs, and •gazed
on the fweete, pale Moon till fhe
fett, and then on the bright Starres
till he feemed to fee them moving
in a flowe, folemn Dance, to the
Words, '''■ How glojHoiis is our Godl^''
And alle about him, he faid, he
knew, tho' he coulde not fee them,
were fpirituall Beings repairing the
Ravages of the Day on the Flowers,
amonge the Trees, and Graffe, and
Hedofes : and he believed 'twas onlie
the Filme that originall Sin had
fpread over his Eyes, that prevented
his feeing them. I am thankful for
this
of Mary Powell.
this fame Filme, — I cannot abide
Fairies, and Witches, and Ghofts —
ugh ! I fliudder even to write of
them ; and were it onlie of the
more harmleffe Sort, one woulde
nev^er have the Comforte of think-
inge to be alone. I feare Church-
yardes and dark Corners of • alle
Kinds ; more efpeciallie Spiritts ;
and there is onlie one I would even
wifh to fee at my braveft, when
deepe Love cafteth out Feare ; and
that is of Sifter Anne, whome I
never affociate with the Worme and
Winding-fheete. Oh no ! I think
JJie, at leafte, dwells amonge the
Starrcs, having fprung llraite up
into Lighte and Blille the Moment
fhe put off Mortalitic ; and if fhe,
why not others } Are Adam and
Abraham alle these Yeares in the
unconfcious Tomb ? Theire Bodies,
but furelie not their Spiritts ? else,
why
45
1643
46 Maiden & Married Life
1643. why dothe Chriji fpeak of Lazarus
lying in Abraham's Bofom, while
the Brothers of Dives are yet riot-
oiiflie living ? Yet what becomes
of the Daye of generall Judgment,
if fome be thus pre-judged ? I muft
alke Mr. Miltoji, — yes, I thinke I
can finde it in my Heart to afke him
about this in fome folemn, ftille
Hour, and perhaps he will fett at
Reft manic Doubts and Mifgivings
that at fundrie Times trouble me ;
being- foe wife a Man.
Bedtime.
* * * * Glad to fteale away
from the noifie Companie in the
Supper-roome, (comprifing fome of
Father''s Fellow-magiftrates,) I went
down with Robin and Kate to the
Fifh-ponds ; it was fcarce Sunfet :
and there, while we threw Crumbs
to the Fifli and watched them come
to
of Mary Powell.
to the Surface, were followed, or
ever we were aware, by Mr. Milton^
who fate down on the ftone Seat,
drew Robin between his Knees,
ftroked his Haire, and afkt what
we were talking about. Robin fayd
I had beene telling them a fairie
Story ; and Mr. Milton obferved that
was an infinite Improvement on the
jangling, puzzle-headed Prating of
Country Juftices, and wilhed I
woulde tell it agayn. But I was
afrayd. But Robin had no Feares ;
foe tolde the Tale roundlie ; onlie
he forgot the End. Soe he found
his Way backe to the Middle, and
feemed likelie to make it laft alle
Night ; onlie Mr. Milton fayd he
feemed to have got into the Laby-
rinth of Crete, and he muft for
Pitie's Sake give him the Clew.
Soe he finifhcd Robins Story, and
then tolde another, a molt lovelie
one.
47
1643.
48
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
one, of Ladies, and Princes, and
Enchanters, and a brazen Horfe,
and he fayd the End of that Tale
had been cut off too, by Reafon the
Writer had died before he finifhed
it. But Robin cryed, " Oh ! finifh
" this too," and hugged and kift
him ; foe he did ; and methoughte
the End was better than the Be-
ginninge. Then he fayd, " Now,
" fweet Afoll^ yow. have onHe fpoken
" this Hour paft, by your Eyes ;
" and we muft heare your pleafant
" Voice." " An Hour ? " cries
Robin. '" Where are all the red
•" Clouds gone, then ? " quoth Mr.
Milton, " and what Bulinefs hathe
" the Moon yonder ? " " Then we
" muft go Indoors," quoth I. But
they cried " No," and Robin helde
me faft, and Mr. Milton fayd I might
know even by the diftant Sounds
of ill-governed Merriment that we
were
of Mary Powell.
were winding up the Week's Ac-
counts of Joy and Care more con-
liftentlie where we were than we
coulde doe in the Houfe. And
indeede juft then I hearde my Fa-
ther's Voice fwelling a noilie Chorus ;
and hoping Mr. Milfoil did not dil-
tinguifh it, I afkt him if he loved
Mufick. He anfwered, foe much
that it was Miferie for him to hear
anie that was not of the befte. I
fecretlie refolved he fhould never
heare mine. He added, he was
come of a muficalle Familie, and
that his Father not onlie fang well,
but played finely on the Viol and
Organ. Then he fpake of the fvveet
Mufick in Italy, untill I longed to
be there ; but I tolde him Nothing
in its Way ever pleafed me more
than to hearc the Chorifters of
Magdalen College ufher in May Day
by chaunting a Hymn at the Top of
E the
49
1643-
so
1643.
Maidc7i & Married Life
the Church Towre. Difcourfinof of
this and that, we thus fate a good
While ere we returned to the Houfe.
45- * * * Coming out of Church,
he woulde fhun the common Field,
where the Villagery led up theire
Sports, faying, he deemed Qiioit-
playing and the like to be unfuitable
Recreations on a Daye w^hereupon
the Lord had reftri6led us from
fpeakinge our own Words, and
thinking our own (that is, fecular)
Thoughts : and that he believed the
Law of God in this Particular woulde
foone be the Law of the Land, for
Parliament woulde fhortlie put down
Sunday Sports. I afkt, " What, the
''^King's Parliament at Oxford?''''
He anfwered, " No ; the CoiLiitrfs
" Parliament at Wefiminfiery I fayd,
I was forrie, for manie poore hard-
working Men had no other Holiday.
He
of Mary Powell.
He fayd, another Holiday woulde be
o-iven them : and that whether or
no, we mull; not connive at Evil,
which we doe in permitting an holy
Daye to fink into a Holiday. I fayd,
but was it not the Jezui/Ji Law which
had made fuch Reftriftions ? He
fayd, yes, but that Chrijl came not
to deflroy the moral Law, of which
Sabbath-keeping was a Part, and
that even its naturall Fitneffe for the
bodily Welfare of Man and Beafl
was fuch as no wife Legiflator would
abolifh or abufe it, even had he no
Confideration for our fpiritual and
immortal Part : and that 'twas a
well-known Fa(5l that Beafhs of Bur-
then, which had not one Daye of
Reft in feven, did leffe Worke in
the End. As for oure Soules, he
fayd, they required theire fpiritual
Meales as much as our Bodies re-
quired thcires ; and even poore,
ruflicall
51
1643-
52
i643-
Maiden & Married Life
Monday.
ruflicall Clownes who coulde not
reade, mighte nourifh their better
Parts by an holie Paufe, and by
looking within them, and around
them, and above them. I felt in-
clined to tell him that long Sermons
alwaies feemed to make me love God
lefs infleade of more, but woulde
not, fearing he mighte take it that
I meant he had been giving me one.
Mother hath returned ! The Mo-
ment I hearde her Voice I fell to
trembling. At the fame Moment
I hearde Robiii cry, " Oh, Mother^ I
" have broken the greene Beaker ! "
which betraied Apprehenfion in an-
other Quarter. However, fhe quite
mildlie replied, " Ah, I knew the
" Handle was loofe," and then kift
me with foe great Afre6lion that
I felt quite eafie. She had beene
withhelde by a troublefome Cold
from
of Mary Powell. 53
from returning at the appointed 1643.
Time, and cared not to write. 'Twas
juft Supper-time, and there wxre the
Children to kifs and to give theire
Bread and jNIilk, and BilPs Letter
to reade ; foe that Nothing particular
was fayd till the younger Ones were
gone to Bed, and Father and Mother
were taking fome Wine and Toaft.
Then fays Father, "Well, Wife,
" have you got the five hundred
" Pounds ? " • " No," fhe anfwers,
rather carelefllie. " I tolde you how
" 'twoulde be," fays Father; "you
" mighte as well have ftayed at
" Home." " Really, Mr. Powell^'
fays Mother, " foe feldom as I ftir
" from my owne Chimney-corner,
" you neede not to grudge me, I
" think, a few Dayes among our
" mutuall Relatives." " I fhall goe
"to Gaol," fays Father. " Non-
"fenfc," fays Mother; "to Gaol
" indeed ! "
54
Maidoi & Married Life
1643.
" indeed ! " " Well, then, who is
to keepe me from it ? " fays Fa-
ther^ laughing. " I will anfwer for
it, Mr. Milton will wait a little
" longer for his Money," fays Mo-
ther, " he is an honourable Man,
I fuppofe." " I wifh he may
" thinke me one," fays Father ;
" and as to a little longer, what is
"the soode of waitinjy for what
" is as unlikelie to come eventuallie
as now
" You muft anfwer
that for yourfelfe," fays Mother,
looking wearie : " I have done what
I can, and can doe no more."
"Well, then, 'tis lucky Matters
" Hand as they do," fays Father.
" Mr. Milton has been much here in
" your Abfence, my Dear, and has
■'taken a Liking to our Moll; foe,
believing him, as you fay, to be
" an honourable Man, I have pro-
" mifed he fhall have her." " Non-
" fenfe,"
of Mary Powell.
55
" fenfe," cries Mother, turning red
and then pale. " Never farther
" from Nonfenfe," fays Father, " for
" 'tis to be, and by the Ende of the
" Month too." " You are banterino-
" me, Mr. Powell^'' fays Mother.
" How can 3'ou fuppofe foe, my
" Deare ? " fays Father, " you doe
"me Injuftice." "Why, Moll!''
cries Mother, turning fharplie to-
wards me, as I fate mute and fear-
fulle, " what is alle this, Child ?
" You cannot, you dare not think
" of wedding this round-headed
" Puritan." " Not round-headed,"
fayd I, trembling ; " his Plaire is as
" long and curled as mine." " Don't
" bandy Words with me, Girl," fays
Mother, paflionatelie, " fee how unfit
you arc to have a Iloufe of your
u
u
ownc, who cannot be left in
" Charge of your Father s for a
" Fortnighte, without falling into
" Mifchiefe ! "
1643-
56
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
' Mifchiefe ! " "I won't have Mo//
' chidden in that Way," fays Father^
' fhe has fallen into noe Mifchiefe,
' and has beene a difcreete and
'dutifuU Child." "Then it has
' beene alle your doing," fays Mo-
ther^ " and you have forced the
'Child into this Match." "Noe
' Forcing w^hatever," fays Father^
' they like one another, and I am
' very glad of it, for it happens to
' be very convenient." " Conve-
' nient, indeed," repeats Mother,
and falls a-weeping. Thereon I
muft needs weepe too, but flie fays,
" Begone to Bed ; there is noe Neede
" that you flioulde fit by to heare
" your owne Fatlicr confeffe what
" a Fool he has beene."
To my Bedroom I have come,
but cannot yet feek my Bed ; the
more as I ftill heare theire Voices
in Contention below.
This
of Mary Powell.
This Morninge's Breakfafte was
mofte uncomfortable, I feeling like
a checkt Child, fcarce minding to
looke up or to eat. Mother^ with
E3^es red and fwollen, fcarce fpeak-
ing fave to the Children ; Father
dire6ting his Difcourfe chieflie to
Dick, concerning Farm Matters and
the Rangeriliip of Shotover, tho'
'twas ealie to fee his Mind was not
with them. Soe foone as alle had
difperfed to theire cuftomed Tafkes,
and I was loitering at the Window,
Father calls aloud to me from his
Studdy. Thither I go, and find him
and Mother, fhe fitting with her Back
to both. " Moll,''' fays Father, with
great Determination, " you have ac-
" cepted i\Ir. Milton to pleafe your-
" felf, you will marry him out of
" Hand to pleafe me." " Spare me,
" fpare me, ]Mr. Pozuell^'^ interrupts
Mother, " if the Engagement may
" not
57
1643.
Tuesday.
58
1643-
J^Iaidcn & Married Life
" not be broken off, at the leaft
" precipitate it not with this in-
" decent Halle. Poftpone it till "
" Till when ? " %s FatJicr. " Till
'' the Child is olde enough to know
" her owne Mind." " That is, to
" put off an honourable Man on
" falfe Pretences," fays Father^ " fhe
" is olde enough to know it alreadie.
" Speake, AIoll^ are you of your
" Mother'' s Mind to give up Mr.
" Milto7i altogether ? " I trembled,
but fayd, "No." "Then, as his
" Time is precious, and he knows
" not when he may leave his Home
" agayn, I lave you the Trouble,
" Child, of naming a Day, for it
" Ihall be the Monday before Whit-
'"'' funtide.^'' Thereat Mother ga^•e
a Kind of Groan ; but as for me,
I had like to have fallen on the
Ground, for I had had noe Thought
of fuche Hafte. " See what you are
" doing.
of Mary Powell. 59
" doing, Mr. Pozvell,^'' fays Mother, 1643.
compaffionating me, and raifing me
up, though fomewhat roughlie ;
" I prophecie Evil of this Match."
" Prophets of Evil are fure to find
" Lifteners," fays Father, " but' I am
" not one of them ; " and foe left
the Room. Thereon my Mother,
who alwaies feares him when he
has a Fit of Determination, loofed
the Bounds of her Paffion, and chid
me fo unkindlie, that, humbled and
mortified, I was glad to feeke my
Chamber.
* * * * Entering the Dining-
room, however, I uttered a Shriek
on feeing Father fallen back in his
Chair, as though in a Fit, like unto
that which terrified us a Year ago ;
and Mother hearing me call out, ran
in, loofed his Collar, and foone
broughte him to himfelfe, tho' not
without much Alarm to alle. He
made
6o
1643.
Alaiden & Married Life
made light of it himfelfe, and fayd
'twas merelie a fuddain Rufh of
Blood to the Head, and woulde not
be diffuaded from going out ; but
Mother was playnly fmote at the
Heart, and having lookt after him
with fome Anxietie, exclaimed, " I
" fhall neither meddle nor make
" more in this Bufineffe : your Fa-
" thcr''s fuddain Seizures fhall neyer
" be layd at m}^ Doore ; " and foe
left me, till we met at Dinner.
After the Cloth was drawne, enters
Mr. Milton^ who goes . up to Mother^
and with Gracefulneffe kiffes her
Hand ; but fhe withdrewe it pet-
tifhly, and tooke up her Sewing, on
the which he lookt at her wonder-
ingly, and then at me ; then at her
agayne, as though he woulde reade
her w^hole Chara6ler in her Face ;
which having feemed to doe, and to
write the fame in fome private Page
of
of Mary Powell.
of his Heart, he never troubled her
or himfelf with further Comment,
but tooke up Matters juft where he
had left them laft. Ere we parted
we had fome private Conference
touching our Marriage, for haften-
ing which he had foe much to fay
that I coulde not long contend with
him, efpeciallie as I founde he had
plainlie made out that Mother loved
him not.
Houfe full of Companie, leaving
noe time to write nor think. Mo-
ther fayth, tho' flie cannot forbode
an happie Marriage, fhe will provide
for a merrie Wedding, and hathe
ofrowne more than commonlie tender
to me, and given me fome Trinkets,
a Piece of fine Holland Cloth, and
enoughe of green Sattm for a Gown,
that will ftand on End with its owne
Richneffe. She hathe me conftantlie
with
6i
1643.
Wednesday.
62
Maiden & Married Life
1643. "^^^^ ^"^^ ^^"^ ^^^ Kitchen, Paflrie, and
Store-room, telling me 'tis needfulle
I llioulde improve in Houfewiferie,
feeing I fliall foe foone have a Home
of my owne.
But I think Mother knows not,
and I am afeard to tell her, that
Mr. Milton hath no Houfe of his
owne to carry me to, but onlie
Lodgings, which have well fuited
his Bachelor State, but may not,
'tis likelie, befeeme a Lady to live
in. He deems fo himfelf, and fayeth
we will look out for an hired Houfe
tos:ether, at our Leifure. Alle this
he hath fayd to me in an Under-
tone, in Mother^ s Prefence, fhe few-
ing at the Table and we fitting in the
Window; and 'tis difficult to tell how
much fhe hears, for fhe will alke
no Qiieftions, and make noe Com-
ments, onlie compreffes her Lips,
which makes me think fhe knows.
The
of Mary Powell.
The Children are in turbulent
Spiritts ; but Robin hath done nought
but mope and make Moan lince he
learnt he muft foe foone lofe me.
A Thought hath ftruck me, — Mr.
Milton educates his Sifter's Sons. ;
two Lads of about Robiiz's Age.
What if he woulde confent to take
my Brother under his Charge ? per-
haps Father would be willing.
Laft Vifitt to Sheep/cote^ — at leafte,
as Mary Powell ; but kind Rofe and
Roe'er Asinew will orive us the Ufe of
it for a Week on our Marriage, and
fpcnd the Time with dear Father
and Mother^ who will neede their
Kindneffe. Rofe and I walked long
aboute the Garden, her Arm round
my Neck ; and ftie was avifed to fay,
" Cloth of Frieze^ be not too bold,
Thd* thoic be matcht with Cloth of
Gold—''
And
^Z
1643-
Saturday.
64 Maiden & Married Life
1643. And then craved my Pardon for foe
unmannerl}^ a Rhyme, which in-
deede, methoughte, needed an Ex-
cufe, but expreft a Feare that I
knew not (what fhe called) my high
Defhiny, and prayed me not to trifle
with Mr. Miltoii^s Feelings nor in
his Sighte, as I had done the Daye
fhe dined at Fore/2 Hill. I laught,
and fayd, he muft take me as he
found me : he was going to marry
Mary Powell, not the Wife Widow
of Tekoah. Rofe lookt wiftfullie, but
I bade her take Heart, for I doubted
not we fhoulde content cache the
other ; and for the Refl:, her Advice
flioulde not be forgotten. Thereat,
fhe was pacyfied.
May 22nd. Alle Buftle and Confulion, — flay-
ing of Poultrie, making of Paftrie,
etc. People coming and going, preft
to dine and to fup, and refufe, and
then
of Mary Powell.
then ftay, the colde Meats and Wines
ever on the Table ; and in the Even-
ing the Rebecks and Recorders fent
for that we may dance in the Hall.
My Spiritts have been moll un-
equall ; and this Evening I was
overtaken with a fuddain Faintneffe,
fuch as I never but once before ex-
perienced. They would let me
dance no more ; and I was quite
tired enoughe to be glad to fit aparte
with ISIr. Milton neare the Doore,
with the Moon fhining on us 5 untill
at length he drew^ me out into the
Garden. He fpake of Happineffe
and Home, and Hearts knit in Love,
and of heavenlie Efpoufals, and of
Man being the Head of the Woman,
and of our Lorcfs Marriaofe with the
CD
Church, and of white Robes, and
the Bridegroom coming in Clouds
of Glory, and of the Voices of
finging Men and finging Women,
F and
6s
1643.
66 Maiden & Married Life
1643. and eternall Spring, and eternall
BlilTe, and much that I cannot call
to Mind, and other-much that I
coulde not comprehende, but which
was in mine Ears as the Song' of
Birds, or Falling of Waters.
May 23d. Rofe hath come, and hath kindlie
offered to help pack the Trunks,
(which are to be fent off by the
Waggon to Londo7i,) that I may
have the more Time to devote to
Afr. Milton. Nay, but he will foon
have all my Time devoted to him-
felf, and I would as lief fpend what
little remains in mine accuftomed
Haunts, after mine accuftomed Fa-
fhion. I had purpofed a Ride on
Clover this Morning, with Robin ;
but the poor Boy muff I trow be
difappointed.
And for what ? Oh me !
I have hearde fuch a long Sermon
on
of Mary Powell.
on Marriage-duty and Service, that
I am faine to fit down and weepe.
But no, I muft not, for they are
waiting for me in the Hall, and the
Guefts are come and the Mulick is
tuning, and my Lookes muft not
betray me. — And now farewell,
Jotirnall ; or Rofe, who firft bade
me keepe you (little deeming after
what Faftiion), will not pack you
up, and I wmII not clofe you with a
heavie Strayn. Robin is calling me
beneath the Window, — Father is
fitting in the Shade, under the old
Pear-tree, feemingly in gay Dif-
courfe with Mr. Milton. To-morrow
the Village-bells will ring for the
Marriage of
Mary Powell.
London,
67
1643.
68
i643-
Maideji & Married Life
London^
Mr. RiiffelPs^ Taylor,
Bride's Churchyard.
Oh me ! is this my new Home ?
my Heart finkes alreadie. After
the fwete frefh Ayre of Sheepf-
cote, and the Cleanlinefs, and the
Quiet, and the pleafant Smells,
Sightes, and Soundes, alle whereof
Mr. Milton enjoyed to the Full as
keenlie as I, faying they minded
him of Paradife, — how woulde Rofe
pitie me, could fhe view me in this
clofe Chamber, the Floor whereof
of dark, uneven Boards, muft have
beene layd, methinks, three hundred
Years ago ; the oaken Pannells,
utterlie deftitute of Polifh, and with
fundrie Chinks ; the Bed with dull
brown Hangings, lined with as dull
a greene, occupying Half the Space ;
and
of Mary Powell.
and Half the Remainder being filled
with duftie Books, whereof there
are Store alfoe in every other Place.
This Mirror, I flioiild thinke, be-
longed to faire Rofainond. And this
Arm-chair to King Lear. Over
the Chimnie hangs a ruefull Por-
trait,— maybe of Grothcs, but I
fhoulde fooner deeme it of fome
Worthie before the Flood. Onlie
one Quarter of the Cafement will
open, and that upon a Profpe6l,
oh dolefulle ! of the Churchyarde !
Mr. Milton had need be as blythe as
he was all the Time w^e were at
Sheep/cote., or I fliall be buried in
that fame Churchyarde within the
Twelvemonth. 'Tis well he has
ftepped out to fee a Friend, that
I may in his Abfence get ridd of
this Fit of the Difmalls. I wifli
it may be the laft. What would
Mother fay to his bringing me to
fuch
1643-
70
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
fuch a Home as this ? I will not
think, Soe this is London ! How
diverfe from the " towred Citie "
of my Hufband's verfing ! and of
his Prole too ; for as he fpake, by
the Way, of the Diforders of our
Time, which extend even into eache
domeflick Circle, he fayd that alle
muft, for a While, appear confufed
to our imperfeft View, juft as a
mightie Citie unto a Stranger who
fhoulde beholde around him huge,
unfinifhed Fabrics, the Plan whereof
he could but imperfe6llie make out,
amid the Builders' diforderlie Ap-
paratus ; but that, from afar, we
mighte perceive glorious Refults
from party Contentions, — Free-
dom fpringing up from Oppreffion,
Intelligence fucceeding Ignorance,
Order following Diforder, juft as
that fame Traveller looking at the
Citie from a diftant Height, fhoulde
beholde
of Mary Powell. 71
beholde Towres and Spires glifter- 1643.
ing with Gold and Marble, Streets
fhretching in lellening Perfpe6lives,
and Bridges flinging their white
Arches over noble Rivers. But
what of this faw we all along the
Oxford Road ? Firftlie, there was
noe commanding Height ; fecond,
there was the Citie obfcured by a
drizzling Rain ; the Ways were
foul, the Faces of thofe we mett
fpake lefs of Pleafure than Bufinefs,
and Bells were tolling, but none
ringing. Mr. Milioii's Father, a
grey-haired, kind old Man, was
here to give us Welcome : and his
firfte Words were, " Why, yo/m,
'• thou haft ftolen a March on us.
" Soe quickly, too, and foe fnug !
" but fhe is faire enoughe, Man, to
" excufe thee, Royalift or noe."
And foe, taking me in his Arms,
kift me franklie. — But I heare
my
72
1643-
Thursday.
Maiden & Married Life
my Hufband's Voice, and another
with it.
'Twas a Mr. Lawrence whom my
Hufband brought Home laft Nighte
to fup ; and the Evening paffed
righte pleafantlie, with News, Jeftes,
and a little Mulicke. Todaye hath
been kindlie devoted by Mr. Milton
to fhewing me Sights: — and oh!
the ftrange, diverting Cries in the
Streets, even from earlie Dawn !
" New Milk and Curds from the
" Dairie ! " — " Olde Shoes for fome.
" Brooms ! " — " Anie Kitchen-ftuffe,
"have you, Maids?" — "Come buy
" my greene Herbes ! " — and then in
the Streets, here a Man preaching,
there another juggling : here a Boy
with an Ape, there a Show of
Nineveh : next the News from the
North ', and as for the China Shops
and Drapers in the Strand, and the
Cook's
of Mary Powell. 73
Cook's Shops in WcJimmJIer, with 1643.
the fmoking Ribs of Beef and frefh
Salads fet out on Tables in the Street,
and Men in white Aprons crying
out, " Calf's Liver, Tripe, and hot
"Sheep's Feet" — 'twas enoughe to
make One untimelie hungrie, — or
take One's Appetite away, as the
Cafe might be. Mr. Milton fhewed
me the noble Minfter, with King
Harry Seventh's Chapel adjoining 5
and pointed out the old Houfe where
Ben yonfon died. Neare the Broade
Sanflnarie, we fell in with a flighte,
dark-complexioned young Gentle-
man of two or three and twenty,
whome my Hufband efpying cryed,
" What, Marvell ! " the other comi-
cally anfwering, "What Marvel.?"
and then, handfomlie faluting me and
complimenting Mr. Milio7i^ much
lighte and plcafant Difcourfe enfued ;
and finding we were aboute to take
Boat,
74
1643-
Friday.
Maiden & Married Life
Boat, he volunteered to goe with us
on the River. After manie Hours'
Exercife, I have come Home fa-
tigued, yet w^ell pleafed. Mr. Mar-
veil fups with us.
I wifh I could note down a Tithe
of the pleafant Things that were fayd
laft Nighte. Firft, olde Mr. Milton
having ftept out with his Son, —
I called in Rachael, the younger of
Mr. RiiJfeWs Serving-maids, (for we
have none of our owne as yet, which
tends to much Difcomfiture,) and,
with her Aide, I dulled the Bookes
and fett them up in half the Space
they had occupied ; then cleared
away three large Bafketfuls of the
abfoluteft Rubbifh, torn Letters and
the like, and fent out for Flowers,
(which it feemeth Itrange enoughe
to rne to buy^ which gave the
Chamber a gayer Aire, and foe my
Hufband
of Mary Powell.
Hufband fayd when he came in,
calling me the fayreft of them alle ;
and then, fitting down with Gayety
to the Organ, drew forth e from it
heavenlie Sounds. Afterw^ards Mr.
Marvell came in, and they difcourfed
about Italy^ and Mr. Milton promifed
his Friend fome Letters of Intro-
duction to Jacopo Gaddi^ Clementillo,
and others. —
After Supper, they wrote Sen-
tences, Definitions, and the like,
after a Fafhion of CatJierine de Me-
dici, fome of which I have layd afide
for Rofe.
— To-day we have feene St.
PanPs faire Cathedral, and the
School where Mr. Milton was a
Scholar when a Boy ; thence, to
the Fields of Fiiijbiiry ; where
are Trees and Windmills enow : a
Place much frequented for prac-
tifing
75
1643.
76
1643.
Saturday.
Maiden & Married Life
tifing Archery and other manlie
Exercifes.
Tho' we rife betimes, olde Mr.
Milton is earlier fhille ; and I alwa3'S
find him fitting at his Table befide
the Window (by Reafon of the
Chamber being foe dark,) forting
I know not how manie Bundles of
Papers tied with red Tape ; eache
fo like the other that I marvel how
he knows them aparte. This Morn-
ing, I found the poore old Gentle-
man in fad Difhrefs at miffing^ jt
Manufcript Song of Mr. Henry
Lawes\ the onlie Copy extant,
which he perfuaded himfelfe that
I muft have fent down to the Kitchen
Fire Yefterday. I am convinced
I difmifl not a fingle Paper that was
not torne eache Way, as being ut-
terlie ufeleffe ; but as the unluckie
Song cannot be founde, he fighs
and
of Mary Powell.
and is certayn of my Delinquence,
as is Hubert^ his owne Man ; or, as
he more frequentlie calls him, his
"odd Man;" — and an odd Man
indeede is Mr. Hubert, readie to
addrefs his Mafher or Mafter's Sonne
on the mereft Occafion, without
waiting to be fpoken to ; tho' he
expe6teth Others to treat them with
far more Deference than he himfelf
payeth.
— Dead tired, this Daye, with
fo much Exercife ; but woulde not
fay foe, becaufe my Hufband was
thinking to pleafe me by fhew-
ing me foe much. Spiritts flagging
however. Thefe Londoji Streets
wearie my Feet. We have been
over the Houfe in Aldersgate Street,
the Garden whereof difappointed
me, having hearde foe much of
it ; but 'tis far better than none,
and the Iloufe is large enough
for
77
1643.
78
1 643
Sunday
Even.
JMaiden & Married Life
for Mr. Milton''s Familie and m}^
Father s to boote. Thought how
pleafant 'twould be to have them
alle aboute me next Chi^ijlmaj[[e ;
but that holie Time is noe longfer
kept with Joyfulhieffe in London.
Ventured, therefore, to expreffe a
Hope, we mighte fpend it at Forejl
Hill; but Mr. Milton fayd 'twas
unlikehe he fhould be able to
leave Home ; and afkt, would I go
alone ? — Conftrained, for Shame,
to fay no ; but felt, in my Heart, I
woulde jump to fee Forejl Hill on
anie Terms, I foe love alle that
dwell there.
Private and publick Prayer, Ser-
mons, and Pfalm-finging from Morn
until Nighte. The onlie Break hath
been a Vifit to a quaint but pleafing
Lady, by Name Catherine Thomp/on,
whome my Hufband holds in great
Reverence.
of Mary Powell.
Reverence. She faid manie Things
worthy to be remembered ; onlie
as I remember them, I need not
to write them down. Sorrie to
be caughte napping by my Huf-
band, in the Midft of the third
long- Sermon. This comes of over-
walking, and of being unable to
fleep o' Nights ; for whether it
be the London Ayre, or the Lon-
don Methods of making the Beds,
or the ftrange Noifes in the
Streets, I know not, but I have
fcarce beene able to clofe my Eyes
before Daybreak fince I came to
Town.
And now beginneth a new Life ;
for my Hufband's Pupils, who were
difmift for a Time for my Sake,
returne to theire Tafks this Daye,
and olde Mr. Milton giveth Place
to his two Grandfons, his widowed
Daughter's
79
1643-
Monday.
8o
Maiden & Married Life
1643. Daughter's Children, Edward and
yohn Phillips^ whom my Hufband
led in to me juft now. Two plainer
Boys I never fett Eyes on \ the one
weak-eyed and puny, the other prim
and puritanicall — no more to be
compared to our fweet Robin / ^ * *
After a few Words, they retired to
theire Books ; and my Hulhand,
taking my Hand, fayd in his kind-
lieft Manner, — " And now I leave
'' my fweete Moll to the pleafant
" Companie of her own goode and
" innocent Thoughtes ; and, if fhe
" needs more, here are both ftringed
" and keyed Inftruments, and Books
" both of the older and modern
" Time, foe that llie will not find
" the Hours hang heavie." Me-
thousrhte how much more I fliould
like a Ride upon Clover than all the
Books that ever were penned ; for
the Door no fooner clofed upon
Mr.
of Mary Powell.
Mr. Milton than it feemed as tho'
he had taken alle the Sunihine with
him ; and I fell to cleaning the
Cafement that I mighte look out
the better into the Churchyarde,
and then altered Tables and Chairs,
and then fate downe with my El-
bows refting on the Window-feat,
and my Chin on the Palms of my
Hands, gazing on I knew not what,
and feeling like a Butterflie under a
Wine-glafs.
I marvelled why it feemed foe
long lince I was .married, and won-
dered what they were doing at
Home, — coulde fancy I hearde Mo-
ther chiding, and faw Charlie ftealing
into the Dairie and dipping his Fin-
ger in the Cream, and Kate feeding
the Chickens, and Dick taking a
Stone out of White/tar's Shoe.
— Methouo^ht how dull it was
to be paffing the befl Part of the
G Summer
8i
1643.
82
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
Summer out of the Reache of frefh
A3Te and greene Fields, and won-
dered, woulde alle my future Sum-
mers be foe fpent ?
Thoughte how dull it was to
live in Lodgings, where one could
not even go into the Kitchen to
make a Pudding ; and how dull
to live in a Town, without fome
young female Friend with whom
one might have ventured into the
Streets, and where one could not
foe much as feed Colts in a Paddock ;
how dull to be without a Garden,
unable foe much as to gather a
Handfulle of ripe Cherries ; and
how dull to looke into a Church-
yarde, where there was a Man
digging a Grave !
— When I wearied of ftaring at
the Grave-digger, I gazed at an
olde Gentleman and a young I^ady
flowlie walking along, yet fcarce as
if
of Mary Powell. 83
if I noted them ; and was thinking 1643.
moftlie of Foi'-cjl Hill, when I faw
them ftop at our Doore, and pre-
fently they were fhewn in, by the
Name of Do6lor and Miftrefs Da-
vies. I fent for my Hufband, and
entertayned 'em bothe as well as
I could, till he appeared, and they
were polite and pleafant to me ; the
young Lady tall and (lender, of a
cleare brown Skin, and with Eyes
that were fine enough ; onlie there
was a fupprefl Smile on her Lips
alle the Time, as tho' fhe had feen
me lookincr out of the Window.
She tried me on all Subjects, I think ;
for fhe ftarted them more adroitlie
than I ; and taking up a Book on
the Window-feat, which was the
Amadigi of Bernardo TaJJo, printed
alle in Italiqiies, fhe fayd, if I loved
Poetry, which ftie was fure I mufl,
fhe knew fhe fhoulde love me. I
did
84
Maiden & Alarried Life
1643. did not tell her whether or noe.
Then we were both lilent. Then
Doftor Davies talked vehementlie to
^x.' Milton agaynfl: the King; and
Mr. Milton was not fo contrarie to
him as I could have wifhed. Then
Miftrefs Davies tooke the Word
from her Father, and beganne to
talke to Mr. Milton of Taffo^ and
Dante, and Boiardo, and Ariojio ; and
then Doctor Davies and I were filent.
Methoughte, they both talked well,
tho' I knew fo little of their Subjeft-
matter ; onlie they complimented
cache other too much. I mean not
they were infincere, for cache feemed
to think highlie of the other ; onlie
we neede not fay alle we feele.
To conclude, we are to fup with
them to-morrow.
Wednesday. your7iall, I havc Nobodlc now
but you to whome to tell my little
Griefs ;
of Mary Powell.
Griefs ; indeede, before I married,
I know not that I had anie ; and
even now, they are very fmall, onlie
they are foe new, that fometimes
my Heart is like to burft.
— I know not whether 'tis fafe to
put them alle on Paper, onlie it
relieves for the Time, and it kills
Time, and perhaps, a little While
hence I may looke back and fee
how fmall they were, and how they
mighte have beene fhunned, or better
borne. 'Tis worth the Triall.
— Yefterday Morn, for very Wea-
rineffe, I looked alle over my Linen
and ]Mr. Miltoit^s^ to fee could I
finde anie Thing to mend ; but
there was not a Stitch amifs. I
woulde have played on the Spin-
nette, but was afrayd he fhould hear
my indifferent Mufick. Then, as
a laft Refource, I tooke a Book —
Paul Perrin^s Hijlorie of the Wal-
dcnfcs ; —
85
1643.
86
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
de7ifes ; — and was, I believe, dozing
a little, when I was aware of a
continuall Whifpering and Cr3'ing.
I thought 'twas fome Child in the
Street \ and, having fome Comfits
in my Pocket, I flept foftlie out to
the Houfe-door and lookt forth, but
no Child could I fee. Coming back,
the Door of my Hufband's Studdy
being ajar, I was avifed to look in ;
and law him, with awfulle Brow,
raifing his Hand in the very A61 to
ftrike the youngefh Phillips. I could
never endure to fee a Child ftruck,
foe haftilie cryed out, "Oh, don't!"
— whereon he role, and, as if not
feeing me, gently clofed the Door,
and, before I reached my Chamber,
I hearde foe loud a Crying that I
began to cry too. Soon, alle was
quiet ; and my Hufband, coming in,
ftept gently up to me, and putting
his Arm about my Neck, fayd,
"My
of Mary Powell.
87
" My deareft Life, never agayn, I 1643.
" befeech
you,
interfere between
" me and the Boys : 'tis as un-
" feemlie as tho' I fhoulde interfere
" between you and your Maids, —
" when 3^ou have any, — and will
" weaken my Hands, dear Moll^
" more than you have anie Suf-
" picion 01.
I replied, killing that fame of-
fending Member as I fpoke, " Poor
" Jack would have beene glad, jull
" now, if I had weakened them." —
" But that is not the Qiieftion," he
returned, " for we fhould alle be
" glad to efcape neceffary Punifh-
" ment ; whereas, it is the Power,
" not the Penalty of our bad Habits,
" that we fhoulde feek to be de-
" livered from." — " There may,"
I fayd, '' be necelTary, but need not
" be corporal Punifhment." " That
" is as may be," returned he, " and
" hath
88
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
' hath alreadie been fettled by an
' Authoritie to which I fubmit, and
' hardhe think you will difpute,
' and that is, the Word of God.
' Pain of Body is in Realitie, or
' ought to be, fooner over and more
' fafelie borne than Pain of an in-
' genuous Mind ;
and, as to the
' Shame, — why, as Loi^enzo de* Me-
' dici fayd to Soccini^ ' The Shame
' ' is in the Offence rather than in
' ' the Punifhment' "
I replied, " Our Robin had never
" beene beaten for his Studdies ; "
to which he fayd with a Smile,
that even I muft admit Robin to
be noe greate Scholar. And fo in
good Humour left me ; but I was
in no good Humour, and hoped
Heaven might never make me the
Mother of a Son, for if I fhould
fee Mr. Milton ftrike him, I fhould
learn to hate the Father. —
Learninof
of Mary Powell.
Learning there was like to be
Companie at Do6tor Davies\ I was
avifed to put on my brave greene
Satin Gown ; and my Hufband fayd
it became me well, and that I onlie
needed fome' Primrofes and Cowflips
in my Lap, to look like May ; — and
fomewhat he added about mine Eyes'
" clear fhining after Rain," which
avifed me he had perceived I had
beene crying in the Morning, which
I had hoped he had not.
Arrivin"- at the Do6tor's Houfe,
we were fhewn into an emptie
Chamber ; at leaft, emptie of Com-
panie, but full of every Thing clfe ;
for there were Books, and Globes,
and ftringed and wind Inftruments,
and ftuffed Birds and Beafts, and
ThinjTS I know not foe much as the
Names of, befidcs an Eafel with
a Painting by Mrs. Mildred on it,
which fhe meant to be fcene, or fhe
w^oulde
1643-
90
Maiden & Married Life
1643. woulde have put it away. Sub-
jc6l, " Brutus' s Judg^iient : " which
I thought a fhrange, unfeeling one
for a Woman ; and did not wifh
to be Aer Son. Soone fhe came
in, dreft with fluddied and puritan-
icall PlainneiTe ; in brown Taffeta,
guarded with black Velvet, which
became her well enough, but was
fcarce fuited for the Seafon. She
had much to fay about limning, in
which my Hufband could follow
her better than I ; and then they
went to the Globes, and Coperniciis^
and Galileo Galilei, whom fhe called
a Martyr, but I do not. For, is a
Martyr one who is unwillinglie im-
prifoned, or who formally recants ?
even tho' he affe6led afterwards to
fay 'twas but a Form, and cries,
'"'' Eppure, ft muove?'''' The earlier
Chriftians might have fayd 'twas
but a Form to burn a Handfull of
Incenfe
of Mary Powell.
Incenfe before Jove's Statua ; Pliny
woulde have let them goe.
Afterwards, when the Doctor
came in and engaged my Hufband
in Difcourfe, Miftress Mildi^cd de-
voted herfelfe to me, and afkt what
ProfrrefTe I had made with Bernardo
Tajfo. I tolde her, none at alle, for
I was equallie faultie at Italiq^ics
and lialian, and onlie knew his beft
Work thro' IMr. Fairfax's Tranf-
lation ; whereat flie fell laughing,
and fayd fhe begged my Forgive-
neffe, but I was confounding the
Father with the Sonne ; then laught
agayn, but pretended 'twas not at
me but at a Lady I minded her of,
who never coulde remember to dif-
ting^uifh betwixt Lionardo da Vinci
and Lorenzo dei Medici. That laft
Name brought up the Recollection
of my Morning's Debate with my
Hufband which made me feel fad ;
and
91
1643.
92
i643-
Maiden & Married Life
and then, Mrs. Mildred^ feeminge
anxious to make me forget her
Unmannerlinefs, commenced, " Can
" you paint ?" — " Can you fmg ?" —
" Can you play the Lute ? " — and,
at the laft, "■ What ca7t you do ? "
I mighte have fa3^d I coulde comb
out my Curls fmoother than fhe
coulde hers, but did not. Other
Guefts came in, and talked fo much
agaynft Prelacy and the Right divine
of Kings that I woulde fain we had
remained at Aflronomie and Poetry.
For Supper there w^as little Meat,
and noe ftrong Drinks, onlie a
thinnifli foreign Wine, with Cakes,
Candies, Sweetmeats, Fruits, and
Confe6lions. Such, I fuppofe, is
Town Fafliion. At the lafte, came
Mufick ; Miftrefs Mildred fang and
played ; then preft me to do the
like, but I was foe fearfulle, I
coulde not ; fo my HullDand fayd
he
of Mary Powell.
he woulde play for me, and that
woulde be alle one, and foe covered
my BafhfullenelTe handfomlie.
Onlie this Morning, juft before
going to his Studdy, he ftept back
and fayd, " Sweet Moll, I know you
" can both play and fmg — why will
"you not pra6life?" I replyed, I
loved it not much. He rejoyned,
" But you know I love it, and is
" not that a Motive ? " I fayd, I
feared to let him hear me, I played
fo ill. He replyed, "Why, that is
" the very Reafon you fhoulde feek
" to play better, and I am fure you
" have Plenty of Time. Perhaps,
" in your whole future Life, you
" will not have fuch a Seafon
" of Leifure as you have now, —
" a golden Opportunity, which you
" will furelie fcize." — Then added,
" Sir Thomas Move's Wife learnt to
" play the Lute, folely that fhe
" mighte
93
164;
94 Maiden & Married Life
1643. " mighte pleafe her Hufband." I
anfwered, " Nay, what Need to tell
" me of Sir Thomas Alores Wife, or
'' of Huoh Grotiuss Wife, when I
"was the Wife of yohn Milton?''
He looked at me twice, and quick-
lie, too, at this Saying ; then laugh-
ing, cried, " You cleaving Mifchief !
" I hardlie know whether to take
" that Speech amiffe or well — how-
" ever, you fliall have the Benefit of
" the Doubt."
And fo away laughing ; and I,
for very Shame, fat down to the
Spinnette for two wearie Hours,
till foe tired, I coulde cry ; and
when I delifted, coulde hear Jack
wailing over his Tafk. 'Tis raining
faft, I cannot get out, nor fhould
I dare to go alone, nor where to go
to if 'twere fine. I fancy ill Smells
from the Churchyard — 'tis long to
Dinner-time, with noe Change, noe
Exercife ;
of Mary Powell.
Exercife ; and oh, I figh for Foreji
Hill.
— A dull Dinner with Mrs. Phil-
lips^ whom I like not much. Chrif-
topher Milton there, who flared hard
at me, and put me out of Coun-
tenance with his ftrange Queftions.
My Hufband checked him. He is
a Law3^er, and has Wit enoughe.
Mrs. Phillips fpeaking of fecond
Marriages, I unawares hurt her by
giving my Voice agaynfl them. It
feems fhe is thinking of contra6ting
a fecond Marriage.
— At Supper, wifhing to ingra-
tiate myfelf with the Boys, talked
to them of Countrie Sports, etc. :
to which the youngeft liftened
greedilie : and at length I was
avifed to alk them woulde they not
like to fee Foreji Hill? to which the
elder replyed in his molt methodicall
Manner,
95
1643-
96
i643-
Friday.
Maiden & Married Life
Manner, " If Mr. Powell has a good
" Library." For this Piece of Hy-
pocrifie, at which I heartiHe laught,
he was commended by his Uncle.
Hypocrifie it was, for Mafter Ned
cryeth over his Talkes pretty nearlie
as oft as the youngeft.
To rewarde my zealous Pra6lice
to-day on the Spinnette, Mr. Milton
produced a Collection of ^'' Ayres, and
" Dialogzces^ for one, two, and three
" Voices^'' by his Friend, Mr. Harry
Lawes, which he fayd I fhoulde find
very pleafant Studdy ; and then he
told me alle about theire getting up
the Mafque of Comits in Lndlow
Caftle, and how well the Lady's
Song was fung by Mr. Lawes' Pupil,
the Lady Alice, then a fweet, modeft
Girl, onlie thirteen Years of Age, —
and he told me of the Singing of a
faire Italian young Signora, named
Leonora
of Mary Powell.
Leonora Barroni^ with her Mother
and Sifter, whome he had hearde at
Rome^ at the Concerts of Cardinal
Barberini ; and how ftie was "as
" gentle and raodeft as fweet Moll^^
yet not afrayd to open her Mouth,
and pronounce everie Syllable dif-
tindlie, and with the proper Em-
phafis and Paffion when ftie fang.
And after this, to my greate Con-
tentment, he tooke me to the
Gray's Imt Walks, where, the Af-
ternoon being fine, was much Com-
panie.
After Supper, I proposed to the
Boys that we ftioulde tell Stories ;
and Mr. Milton tolde one charm-
inglie, but then went away to write
a Lalin Letter. Soe Ned^s Turn
came next ; and I muft, if I can,
for very Mirthe's Sake, write it
down in his exa6l Words, they
were foe pragmaticall.
H "On
97
1643.
98
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
" On a Daye, there was a certain
Child wandered forthe, that would
play. He met a Bee, and fayd,
'Bee, wilt thou play with me?'
The Bee fayd, ' No, I have my
Duties to perform, tho' you, it
woulde feeme, have none. I
muft away to make Honey.'
Then the Childe, ' abafht, went
to the Ant. He fayd, 'Will you
play with me, Ant ? ' The Ant
replied, ' Nay, I mufl provide
againft the Winter.' In fhorte,
he found that everie Bird, Beafte,
and Infe6l he accofted, had a clofer
Eye to the Purpofe of their Cre-
ation than himfelfe. Then he
fayd, ' I will then back, and con
my T^^:— Moral The Moral
of the foregoing Fable, my deare
Aunt, is this — We muft love Work
better than Play."
With alle my Intereft for Chil-
dren,
of Mary Powell.
99
dren, how is it pollible to take
anie Intereft in foe formall a little
Prigge ?
i%3-
I have jufl done fomewhat for
Mafler Ned which he coulde not doe
for himfelfe — z/2>. tenderly bound
up his Hand, which he had badly
cut. Wiping away fome few na-
turall Tears, he muft needs fay,
" I am quite afhamed, Auiit^ you
" fhoulde fee me cry ; but the worft
" of it is, that alle this Payne has
" beene for noe Good ; whereas,
" when my Uncle beateth me for
" mifconftruing my Latin, tho' I
" cry at the Time, all the While
" I know it is for my Advantage."
— If this Boy goes on preaching
foe, I fhall foon hate him.
— Mr. Milton having ftepped out
before Supper, came back looking
foe blythe, that I afkt if he had
hearde
Saturday.
loo Maiden & Married Life
1643. hearde good News. He fayd, yes :
that fome Friends had long beene
perfuading him, againft his Will,
to make publick fome of his Latin
Poems ; and that, having at length
confented to theire Wilhes, he had
beene with Mojley the Publifher in
PauPs Churchyard, who agreed to
print them. I fayd, I was forrie
I fhoulde be unable to read them.
He fayd he was forry too ; he mull
tranflate them for me. I thanked
him, but obferved that Tradu6tions
were never foe good as Originalls.
He rejoyned, " Nor am I even a
"good Tranflater." I afkt, "Why
" not write in your owne Tongue ? "
He fayd, '^ Latin is underftood all
"over the Worlde." I fayd, "But
" there are manie in your owne
" Country do not underfland it."
He was filent foe long upon that,
that I fuppofed he did not mean
to
of Mary Powell.
to anfwer me ; but then cried,
" You are right, fweet Moll. — Our
" beft Writers have written their
" beft Works in Engli/Ji, and I will
" hereafter doe the fame, — for I feel
" that my beft Work is ftill io come.
" Poetry hath hitherto been with
" me rather the Recreation of a
" Mind confcious of its Health,
" than the deliberate Tafk-work of
" a Soule that muft hereafter give
" an Account of its Talents. Yet
" my Mind, in the free Circuit of
" her Mufing, has ranged over a
" thoufand Themes that lie, like
" the Marble in the Quarry, readie
" for anie Shape that Fancy and
" Skill may give. Neither Lazinefs
" nor Caprice makes me difficult in
" my Choice ; for, the longer I am
" in fele6ling my Tree, and laying
" my Axe to the Root, the founder
" it will be and the riper for Ufe.
"Nor
lOI
1643-
I02
i643-
Sunday
Even.
Maiden & Married Life
' Nor is an Undertaking that fhall
' be one of high Duty, to be en-
' tered upon without Prayer and
' Difcipline : — it woulde be Pre-
' fumption indeede, to commence
' an Enterprife which I meant
' fhoulde delighte and profit every
' inflrufted and elevated Mind with-
' out fo much Paynes-takinge as it
' fhould coll a poor Mountebank to
' balance a Pole on his Chin."
In the Clouds agayn. At Dinner,
to-daye, Mr. Milton catechifed the
Boys on the Morning's Sermon, the
Heads of which, though amounting
to a Dozen, Ned tolde off roundlie.
Roguifh little Jack looked flylie at
me, fays, " Aunt coulde not tell off
" the Sermon." " Why not ? " fays
his Uncle. " Becaufe fhe w^as lleep-
" ing," fays Jack. Provoked with
the Child, I turned fcarlett, and
haftilie
of Mary Powell.
haftilie fayd, "I was not." No-
bodie fpoke ; but I repented the
Falfitie the Moment it had efcaped
me ; and there was Ned., a folding
of his Hands, drawing down his
Mouth, and clofing his Eyes
My FIu{band tooke me to talke for
it when we were alone, foe tenderlie
that I wept.
Jack fayd this Morning, " I know
" Something — I know Aunt keeps
" a Journall." " And a good Thing
" if you kept one, too, Jack^'' fayd
his Uncle, " it would fhew you how
" little 3^ou doe." Jack was filenced ;
but Ned, purfmg up his Mouth,
fays, " I can't think what Aunt can
"have to put in a Journall — fhould
" not you like, Uncle, to fee ? "
" No, Ned;' fays his Uncle, " I am
" upon Honour, and your dear Aunt's
"Journall is as fafe, for me, as the
Iden
a
103
1643.
Monday.
"■O
I04
1643-
Saturday
Even.
Maiden & Married Life
' golden Bracelets that King Alfred
' hung upon the High-way. I am
' glad fhe has fuch a Refource, and,
' as we know fhe cannot have much
' News to put in it, we may the
' more fafely rely that it is a Trea-
' fury of fweet, and high, and holy,
' and profitable Thoughtes."
Oh, how deeplie I blufht at this
ill-deferved Prayfe ! How forrie
I was that I had ever regiflered
aught that he woulde grieve to
read ! I fecretly refolved that this
Daye's Journalling fhould be the
laft, untill I had attained a better
Frame of Mind.
I have kept Silence, yea, even
from good Words, but it has beene
a Payn and Griefe unto me. Good
Miftrefs Catherine Tkompfon called
on me a few Dayes back, and fpoke
fo wifely and fo wholefomelie con-
cerning
of Mary Powell.
cerning my Lot, and the Way to
make it happy, (fhe is the firft that
hath fpoken as if 'twere poffible it
mighte not be foe alreadie,) that
I felt for a Seafon quite heartened ;
but it has alle faded away. Becaufe
the Source of Cheerfulneffe is not m
me, anie more than in a dull Land-
fkip, which the Sun lighteneth for
awhile, and when he has fet, its
Beauty is gone.
Oh me ! how merry I was at
Home ! — The Source of Cheerful-
neffe feemed in me then, and why is
it not now ? Partly becaufe alle that
I was there tausrht to think ricrht is
here thought wrong ; becaufe much
that I there thought harmleffe is
here thought finfulle ; becaufe I
cannot get at anie of the Things
that employed and interefled me
there, and becaufe the Things within
my Reach here do not intereft me.
Then,
105
1643.
io6
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
Then, 'tis no fmall Thing to be
continiialHe deemed ignorant and
mifinformed, and to have one's
Errors continuallie covered, however
handfomelie, even before Children.
To fay Nothing of the Weight upon
the Spiritts at firfle, from Change
of Ayre, and Diet, and Scene, and
Lofs of habituall Exercife and Com-
panie and houfeholde Cares. Thefe
petty Griefs try me forelie ; and
when Coufin Ralph came in unex-
pe6ledHe this Morn, tho' I never
much cared for him at Home, yet
the Sighte of Rofe''s Brother, frefh
from Sheep/cote and Oxford and Forefl
Hill, foe upfet me that I fank into
Tears. No Wonder that Mr. Milton,
then coming in, fhould haftilie
enquire if Ralph had brought ill
Tidings from Home ; and, finding
alle was well there, fhoulde look
ftrangelie. He alkt Ralph, however,
to
of Mary Powell.
to flay to Dinner ; and we had much
Talk of Home ; but now, I regret
having omitted to alk a thoufand
Quefkions.
Mr. Milton in his Clofet and I in
my Chamber. — For the firft Time
he feems this Evening to have founde
out how diffimilar are our Minds.
Meaning to pleafe him, I fayd, " I
" kept awake bravelie, to-nighte,
" through that long, long Sermon,
" for your Sake." — " And why not
"for God's Sake?" cried he, "why
" not for your owne Sake ? — Oh,
" fweet Wife^ I fear you have yet
" much to learn of the Depth of
" Happineffe that is comprifed in
" the Communion between a for-
" given Soul and its Creator. It
" hallows the moft fecular as well
" as the moft fpirituall Employ-
" ments ; it gives Pleafure that has
a
no
107
1643-
Sunday
Even.
Aug. 15.
io8
1643.
Aug. 21,
Saturday.
Maiden & Married Life
" no after BitternelTe ; it gives Plea-
" fure to God — and oh ! thinke of
" the Depth of Meaning in thofe
" Words ! think what it is for us
" to be capable of giving God Plea-
" fure ! "
— Much more, in the fame Vein !
to which I could not, with equal
Power, refpond ; foe, he away ^o
his Studdy, to pray perhaps for my
Change of Heart, and I to my
Bed.
Oh Heaven ! can it be poffible ?
am I agayn at Forejl Hill? How
ftrange, how joyfulle an Event, tho'
brought about with Teares ! — Can
it be, that it is onlie a Month fince
I ftoode at this Toilette as a Bride ?
and lay awake on that Bed, thinking
of Londoit ? How long a Month !
and oh ! this prefent one will be alle
too fhort.
It
of Mary Powell.
It feemeth that Ralph Hewlett,
fhocked at my Teares and the Alter-
ation in my Looks, broughte back
a difmall Report of me to deare
Father and Mother, pronouncing me
either ill or unhappie. Thereupon,
Richard, with his ufuall Impe-
tuofitie, prevayled on Father to let
him and Ralph fetch me Home for
a While, at leafte till after Michael-
maj/e.
How furprifed was I to fee Dick
enter ! My Arms were £be faft
about his Neck, and my Face preft
foe clofe to his Shoulder, that I did
not for a While perceive the grave
Looke he had put on. At the laft,
I was avifed to afk what broughte
him foe unexpe6tedlie to London;
and then he hemmed and looked at
Ralph, and Ralph looked at Dick,
and then Dick fayd bluntly, he hoped
Mr. Milton woulde fpare me to go
Home
109
1643-
no Maide7i & Married Life
1643. Home till after Michaelmajfe^ and
Father had fent him on Purpofe to
fay foe. Mr. Milton lookt furprifed
and hurte, and fayd, how could he
be expe6ted to part foe foone with
me, a Month's Bride ? it muft be
fome other Time : he had intended
to take me himfelfe to ForeJl^Hill
the following Spring, but coulde
not fpare Time now, nor liked me
to goe without him, nor thought
I fhould like it myfelf But my
Eyes faid / JJioitlde, and then he
gazed earneftlie at me' and lookt
hurt ; and there was a dead Silence.
Then Dick, helitating a little, fayd
he was forrie to tell us my Father
was ill ; on which I clafped my
Hands and beganne to weepe ; and
Mr. Milton, changing Countenance,
alkt fundrie Queftions, which Dick
anfwered well enough ; and then
faid he woulde not be foe cruel as
to
of Mary Powell.
to keepe me from a Father I foe
dearlie loved, if he were fick, though
he liked not my travelling in fuch
unfettled Times with fo young
a Convo}'. Ralph fayd they had
brought Diggojy with them, who
was olde and fleddy enough, and
had ridden my Mother's Mare for
my Ufe ; and Dick was for our
ofettinsf forward a Stage on our
Journey the fame Evening, but Mr.
Milton infilled on our abiding till
the following Morn, and woulde
not be overruled. And gave me
leave to flay a Month, and gave
me INIoney, and many kind Words,
which I coulde mark little, being
foe overtaken with Concern about
dear Father^ whofe Illnefs I feared
to be worfe than Dick fayd, feeing
he feemed foe clofe and dealt in
dark Speeches and Parables. After
Dinner, they went forth, they fayd,
to
III
1643-
I 12
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
to look after the Horfes, but I think
to fee Lo7tdon, and returned not till
Supper.
We got them Beds in a Houfe
hard by, and ftarted at earlie Dawn.
Mr. Milton killed me moft ten-
derlie agayn and agayn at |5arting,
as though he feared to lofe me ; but
it had feemed to me foe hard to
brook the Delay of even a few Hours
when Father^ in his Sickneffe, was
wanting me, that I took Leave of
my Hufband with lefs Affection
than I mighte have fhewn, and onlie
began to find my Spiritts lighten
when we were fairly quit of London^
with its vile Sewers and Drains, and
to breathe the fweete, pure Morning
Ayre, as we rode fwiftlie along.
Dick called London a vile Place, and
fpake to Ralph concerning what they
had feene of it overnighte, whence
it appeared to me, that he had
beene
of Mary Powell.
beene pleafure-feeking more than,
in Father's State, he ought to have
beene. But Dick was always a
recklefs Lad; — and oh, what Joy,
on reaching this deare Place, to find
Father had onlie beene fuffering
under one of his ufual Stomach
Attacks, which have no Danger in
them, and which Dick had exagger-
ated, fearing Mr. Milton woulde not
otherwife part with me; — I was a
little fhocked, and coulde not help
fcolding him, though I was the
Gainer ; but he boldlie defended
what he called his " Stratagem of
" War," faying it was quite allow-
able in dealing with a Puritan.
As for Robin, he was wild with
Joy when I arrived ; and hath never
ceafed to hang about me. The
other Children are riotous in their
Mirth. Little yofcelyn hath returned
from his Fofter-mother's Farm, and
I is
113
1643.
114
i643-
Monday.
Maiden & Married, Life
is noe longer
a puny Child — 'tis
thought he will thrive. I have
him conftantly in my Arms or
riding on my Shoulder ; and with
Delight have revifited alle my olde
Haunts, patted Clover, &c^ Deare
Mother is moft kind. The Maids
as oft call me Mrs. Molly as Mrs.
Milton, and then fmile, and beg
Pardon. Rofe and Agnew have been
here, and have made me promife to
vifit Sheep/cote before I return to
London. The whole Houfe feems
full of Glee.
It feemes quite ftrange to heare
Dick and Harry finging loyal Songs
and drinking the King''s Health after
foe recentlie hearing his M. foe
continuallie fpoken agaynfl. Alfo,
to fee a Lad of Robing s Age, coming
in and out at his Will, doing anie-
thing or nothing ; inftead of being
ever
of Mary Powell.
ever at his Tafkes, and looking at
Meal-times as if he were repeating
them to himfelfe. I know which
I like befl.
A molt kind Letter from Mr.
Milton, hoping Father is better, and
praying for News of him. How
can I write to him without betraying
Dick? Robin andj( I rode, this
Morning, to Sheep/cote. Thoughte
Mr. Agnew received me with un-
wonted Gravitie. He tolde me
he had received a Letter from
my Hufband, praying News of my
Father, feeing I had fent him none,
and that he had writ to him that
Father was quite well, never had
been better. Then he fayd to me
he feared Mr. Milton was labouring
under fome falfe Impreffion. I tolde
him trulie, that Dick, to get me
Home, had exaggerated a trifling
Illncfs of Father''s, but that I was
guiltleffe
115
1643.
ii6 Maiden & Married Life
1643. guiltleffe of it. He fayd Dick was
inexcufable, and that noe good End
coulde jufllfie a Man of Honour in
overcharging the Truth ; and that,
fince I was innocent, I fhoulde write
to my Hufband to clear myfelf. I
faid briefly, I woulde ; and I mean
to do foe, onHe not to-daye. Oh,
fweet countrie Life ! I was made for
you and none other. This riding
and walking at one's owne free Will,
in the frefli pure Ayre, coming in
to earlie, heartie, wholefome Meals,
feafoned with harmlefle Jefls, —
feeing frefh Faces everie Daye
come to the Houfe, knowing everie
Face one meets out of Doores, —
fupping in the Garden, and remain-
ing in the Ayre long after the Moon
has rifen, talking, laughing, or per-
haps dancing, — if this be not Joy-
fulnefle, what is ?
For certain, I woulde that Mr.
Milton
of Mary Powell.
Milton were here ; but he woulde
call our Sports miftimed, and throw
a Damp upon our Mirth by not
joining in it. Soe I will enjoy
my Holiday while it lafts, for it
may be long ere I get another —
efpeciallie if his and Father''s Opi-
nions get wider afunder, as I think
they are doing alreadie. ' My pro-
mifed Spring Holiday may come to
Nothing.
My Hufband hath writ to me
ftrangelie, chiding me moil unkindlie
for what was noe Fault of mine, to
wit, Dick's Falfitie ; and wondering
I can derive anie Pleafure from a
Holiday fo obtayned, which he will
not curtayl, but will on. noe Pretence
extend. Nay ! but methinks Mr.
Alilion prefumeth fomewhat too
much on his marital Authoritie,
writing in this Strayn. I am no
mere
117
1643-
Monday.
ii8
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
mere Child neither, nor a runaway
Wife, nor in fiich bad Companie,
in mine own Father's Houfe, where
he firfle faw me ; and, was it anie
Fault of mine, indeed, that Father
was not ill? or can I wifh he had
beene? No, truly!
This Letter hath forelie vexed
me. Dear Father, feeing me foe
duUe, aikt me if I had had bad
News. I fayd I had, for that Mr.
Milton wanted me back at the
Month's End. He fayd, lightlie.
Oh, that muft not be, I muft at all
Events ftay over his Birthdaye, he
could not fpare me fooner ; he
woulde fettle all that. Let it be foe
then — I am content enoughe.
To change the Current of my
Thoughts, he hath renewed the
Scheme for our Vilit to Lady Falk-
land, which, Weather permitting,
is to take Place to-morrow. 'Tis
long
of Mary Powell.
long fince I have feene her, foe I
am willing to goe; but fhe is dearer
to Rofe than to me, though I refpe6t
her much.
The whole of Yefterday occupyde
with our Vilit. I love Lady Falk-
land well, yet her religious Mellan-
choUie and Prefages of Evil have
left a Weight upon my Spiritts.
To-daye, we have a Family Dinner.
The Agncws come not, but the
Merediths doe: we fhall have more
Mirthe if lefs Wit. My Time now
draweth foe fhort, I muft crowd into
it alle the Pleafure I can; and in
this, everie one confpires to help
me, faying, "Poor Moll muft foon
"return to LondonP Never was
Creature foe petted or fpoylt. How
was it there was none of this before
I married, when they might have
me alwaies? ah, therein lies the
Secret.
119
1643.
Wednesday.
I20 Maiden & Married Life
1643. Secret. Now, we have mutuallie
tafted our Loffe. ^
Ralph Hewlett, going agayn to
Town, was avifed to afk whether
I had anie Commiffion wherewith
to charge him. I bade him tell
Mr. Milton that fince we fhould
meet foe foone, I need not write,
but would keep alle my News for
our Fire-fide. Robin added, " Say,
"we cannot fpare her yet," and
Father echoed the fame.
But I begin to feel now, that I
muft not prolong my Stay. At the
leafle, not beyond Father'' s Birthday.
My Month is hafling to a Clofe.
Sept. 21. Battle at Newbury — Lord Falk-
land flayn. Oh, fatal Lofs! Father
and Mother going off to my Lady:
but I think fhe will not fee them.
Aunt and Uncle Hewlett, who brought
the News, can talk of Nothing elfe.
Alle
of Mary Powell.
121
Alle Sadneffe and Confternation.
I am wearie of bad News, public
and private, and feel lefs and lefs
Love for the Puritans, yet am forced
to feem more loyal than I really am,
foe high runs party Feeling juft now
at Home.
My Month has paffed !
A moft difpleafed Letter from
my Hufband, minding me that
my Leave of Abfence hath expired,
and that he likes not the Meffages
he received through Ralph^ nor
the unreafonable and hurtfulle Paf-
times which he finds have beene
making my quiet Home diftaftc-
fulle. Afking, are they fuitable,
under Circumftances of nationall
Confternation to my owne Party, or
feemlie in foe young a Wife, apart
from her Hufband ? To conclude
infifting, with more Authoritie than
Kindnefle,
1643.
Sept. 22
Sept. 28.
122 Maide7i & Married Life
1643. KindnelTe, on my immediate Re-
turn.
With Tears in my Eyes, I have
beene to mv Father. I have tolde
him I mud goe. He fayth, Oh
no, not yet. I perfifled, I muft,
my Hufband was foe very angry.
He rejoined. What, angry with my
fweet Moll? and for fpending a few
Days w^ith her old Father? Can it
be? hath it come to this alreadie?
I fayd, my Month had expired. He
fayd, Nonfenfe, he had alwa3's afkt
me to flay over Michaelmajfe, till his
Birthday; he knew Dick had named
it to Mr. Millon. I fayd, Mr. Milton
had taken no Notice thereof, but
had onlie granted me a Month.
He grew peevifh, and faid, " Pooh,
" pooh ! " Thereat, after a Silence
of a Minute or two, I fayd 3-et agayn,
I muft goe. He took me by the
two Wrifls and fayd. Doe you wifh
to
of Mary Powell.
to go? I burft into Teares, but
made noe Anfwer. He fayd, That
is Anfwer enough, — how doth this
Puritan carry it with you, my Child?
and fnatched his Letter. I fayd.
Oh, don't read that, and would have
drawn it back; but Father, when
heated, is impoffible to controwl;
therefore, quite deaf to Entreaty, he
would read the Letter, which was
unfit for him in his chafed Mood;
then, holding it at Arm's Length,
and fmiting it with his Fift, — Ha!
and is it thus he dares addrefs a
Daughter of mine? (with Words
added, I dare not write) — but be
quiet, Moll, be at Peace, my Child,
for he fhall not have you back for
awhile, even though he come to
fetch you himfelf. The maddeft
Thing I ever did was to give you to
this Roundhead. He and Roger
Agnew talked me over with foe many
fine
123
1643.
124
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
^
fine Words. — What poffeffed me,
I know not. Your Mother always
faid Evil woulde come of it. But
as long as thy Father has a Roof over
his Head, Child, thou haft a Home.
As foone as he woulde hear me,
I begged him not to take on foe,
for that I was not an unhappy Wife;
but my Tears, he fayd, belied me;
and indeed, with Fear and Agitation,
they flowed faft enough. But I
fayd, I 7nujl goe home, and wiftied
I had gone fooner, and woulde he
let Diggory take me! No, he fayd,
not a Man Jack on his Land fhoulde
faddle a Horfe for me, nor would
he lend me one, to carry me back
to Mr. Milton; at the leafte not for
a While, till he had come to Reafon,
and protefted he was forry for having
writ to me foe harfhly.
" Soe be content, Moll^ and make
" not two Enemies, inftead of one.
" Goe,
of Mary Powell.
" Goe, help thy Mother with her
" clear-ftarching. Be happy whilft
" thou art here."
But ah! more ealily faid than
done. "Alle Joy is darkened; the
"Mirthe of the Land is gone!"
At Squire Pake's grand Dinner
we have been counting on foe many
Days; but it gave me not the Plea-
fure expected.
The Weather is foe foul that I
am fure Mr. Milton woulde not like
me to be on the Road, even would
my Father let me goe.
— While writing the above, heard
very angrie Voices in the Court-
yard, my Father's efpeciallie, louder
than common ; and diftinguifhed
the Words " Knave," and " Varlet,"
and " begone." Lookt from my
Window and beheld a Man, booted
and
125
1643.
Michael-
masse Day.
Oct. 13.
126
1643.
Maide7i & Married Life
and cloaked, with two Horfes, at
the Gate, parleying with my Father,
who flood in an offenlive Attitude,
and woulde not let him in. I could
catch fuch Fragments as, " But
"Sir?" "What! in fuch Weather
" as this ? " " Nay, it had not over-
"caft when I ftarted." " 'Tis foul
a
a
enough
now, then." " Let me
but have fpeech of my Miflrefs."
" You crofTe not my Threfhold."
" Nay, Sir, if but to give her this
"Letter:" — and turning his Head,
I was avifed of its being Hubert, old
Mr. Milton^ s Man; doubtlefs fent
by my Hufband to fetch me. Seeing
my Father raife his Hand in angrie
A6tion (his Riding-whip being in
it), I hafled down as fail as I coulde,
to prevent Mifchiefe, as well as to
get my Letter; but, unhappilie, not
foe fleetlie as to fee more than
Huberfs flying Skirts as he gallopped
from
of Mary Powell.
from the Gate, with the led Horfe
by the Bridle; while my Father,
flinging downe the torne Letter,
walked pafllonatelie away. I clafped
my Hands, and flood mazed for a
While, — was then avifed to piece
the Letter, but could not; onlie
making out fuch Words as " Sweet
''Moll,'' in my Hufband's Writing.
Ro/e came this Morning, through
Rain and Mire, at fome Rifk as well
as much Inconvenience, to intreat of
me, even with Teares, not to vex
Mr. Milton by anie farther Delays,
but to return to him as foon as pof-
fible. Kind Soule, her Afle6tion
toucht me, and I alfured her the
more readilie I intended to return
Home as foone as I coulde, which
was not yet, my Father having
taken the Matter into his own
Hands, and permitting me noe
Efcort;
127
1643.
Oct. 14.
128 Maiden & Married Life
1643. Efcort; but that I queftioned not,
Mr. Milton was onlie awaiting the
Weather to fettle, to fetch me him-
felf. That he will doe fo, is my
firm Perfualion. Meanwhile, I
make it my Duty to joyn with fome
Attempt at CheerfuUenefTe in the
Amufements of others, to make my
Father's Confinement to the Houfe
lefs irkfome; and have in fome
Meafure fucceeded.
Oct. 23. Noe Sighte nor Tidings of Mr.
Milton. — I am uneafie, frighted at
myfelf, and wifh I had never left
him, yet hurte at the Negledt.
Hubert, being a crabbed Temper,
made Mifchief on his Return, I
fancy. Father is vexed, methinks,
at his owne Paffion, and hath never,
dire6tlie, fpoken, in my Hear-
inge, of what paffed; but rayleth
continuallie agaynft Rebels and
Roundheads.
of Mary Powell.
Roundheads. As to Mother, — ah
me !
Thro' dank and miry Lanes and
Bye-roads with Robin, to Shecpfcotc.
Waiting for Rofe in Mr. Agneiu's
fmall Studdy, where fhe moftlie
fitteth with him, oft a6ling as his
Amanuenfis, was avifed to take up
a printed Sheet of Paper that lay on
the Table ; but finding it to be of
Latin Verfing, was about to laye it
downe agayn, when Rofe came in.
She changed Colour, and in a falter-
ing Voice fayd, " Ah, Cojifin, do
" you know what that is ? One of
" your Hufband's Proofe Sheets. I
" woulde that it coulde interefb you
" in like Manner as it hath me."
Made her noe Anfwer, laying it alide
unconcernedlie, but fecretlie felt, as
I have oft done before, how flupid
it is not to know Latin, and refolved
K to
129
1643-
Oct. 24.
I30
1643.
Oct. 28.
Oct. 31.
Maiden & Married Life
to get Robin to teach me. He is no
greate Scholar himfelfe, foe will not
fhame me. — I am wearie of hearing
of War and Politicks ; foe will try
Studdy for a While, and fee if 'twill
cure this dull Payn at my Heart.
Robin and I have fliut ourfelves
up for three Hours dailie, in the
fmall Book-room, and have made
fayre Progreffe. He liketh his
Office of Tutor mightilie.
My LefTons are more crabbed, or
I am more dull and inattentive, for
I cannot fix my Minde on my Book,
and am fecretlie wearie. Robin
wearies too. But I will not give
up as yet; the more foe as in this
quiete Studdy I am out of Sighte
and Hearinge of fundrie young
Officers Dick is continuallie bringing
over from Oxford^ who fpend manie
Hours
of Mary Powell.
Hours with him in Countrie Sports,
and then come into the Houfe, hun-
gry, thirftie, noilie, and idle. I know
Mr. Milton woulde not like them.
— Surelie he will come foone? —
I fayd to Father laft Night, I wanted
to hear from Home. He fayd,
" Home! Doft call yon Taylor's
"Shop your Home?" foe ironicalle
that I was fhamed to fay more.
Woulde that I had never married!
— then coulde I enjoy my Child-
hoode's Home. Yet I knew not its
Value before I quitted it, and had
even a ftupid Pleafure in anticipating
another. Ah me! had I loved Mr.
Milton more, perhaps I might better
have endured the Taylor's Shop.
Sheep/cote, Nov. 20.
Annoyed by DiclSs Companions,
I prayed Father to let me ftay awhile
with Rofe; and gaining his Confent,
came
131
1643-
Nov. 20.
132 Maiden & Married Life
1643. came over here Yefter-morn, with-
out thinking it needfuUe to fend
Notice, which was perhaps incon-
fiderate. But fhe received me with
Kiffes and Words of TendernelTe,
though lefs SmiHng than ufualle,
and eagerHe accepted mine offered
Vifitt. Then fhe ran off to find
Roger, and I heard them talking
earneftlie in a low Voice before they
came in. His Face was grave, even
flern, when he entred, but he held
out his Hand, and fayd, " Miflrefs
" Aliltouy you are welcome ! how is
" it with you ? and how was Mr.
" Milton when he wrote to you
"lafl?" I anfwered briefiie, he was
well: then came a Silence, and then
Rofe took me to my Chamber, which
was fweet with Lavender, and its
Hangings of the whitefl. It reminded
me too much of my firfl Week of
Marriage, foe I refolved to think
not
of Mary Powell.
not at all left I fhoulde be bad
Companie, but cheer up and be
gay. Soe I afkt Rofe a thoufand
Queftions about her Dairie and Bees,
laught much at Dinner, and told
Mr. Agnew fundrie of the merrie
Sayings of Dick and his Oxford
Friends. And, for my Reward, when
we were afterwards apart, I heard
him tell Rofe (by Reafon of the Walls
being thin) that however fhe might
regard me for old Affe6lion's Sake,
he thought he had never knowne
foe unpromifing a Chara6ler. This
made me dulle enoughe all the reft
of the Evening, and repent having
come to Sheepfcote: however, he
liked me the better for being quiete:
and Rofe^ being equallie chekt, we
fewed in Silence while he read to
us the firft Divifion of Spencer^s
Legend of Holineffe^ about Una and
the Knight, and how they got fun-
dered
1643.
134 Maiden & Married Life
1643. dered. This led to much ferious,
yet not unpleafing, Difcourfe, which
lafted till Supper. For the firft
Time at Sheep/cote, I coulde not eat,
which Mr. Agnew obferving, prell
me to take Wine, and Rofe woulde
ftart up to fetch fome of her Pre-
ferves; but I chekt her with a
Motion, not being quite able to
fpeak; for their being foe kind made
the Teares ready to ftarte, I knew
not why.
Family Prayers, after Supper,
rather too long; yet though I coulde
not keep up my Attention, they
feemed to fpread a Calm and a
Peace alle about, that extended even
to me; and though, after I had
undrefled, I fat a long While in a
Maze, and bethought me how pi-
teous a Creature I was, yet, once
layed down, I never fank into deeper,
more compoling Sleep.
This
of Mary Powell.
This Morning, Rofe exclaimed,
"Dear Roo-erf onlie think! Moll
" has begun to learn Latin fince fhe
" returned to Forcjl Hill, thinking
" to furprife Mr. Milton when they
" meet." " She will not onlie fur-
" prife, but pleafe him," returned
dear Roger, taking my Hand very
kindlie; " I can onlie fay, I hope
" they will meet long before fhe
" can read his Poemata, unlefs fhe
" learnes much fafler than moft
" People." I replied, I learned
very flowly, and wearied Robiii's
Patience; on which Ro/e, killing
me, cried, " You will never wearie
"mine; foe, if you pleafe, deare
" Moll, we will goe to our LelTons
" here everie Morning, and it may
" be that I fhall get you through
" the Grammar fafter than Robin
" can. If we come to anie Dif^-
" cultie we fhall refer it to RogerP
Now,
135
1643.
Nov. 21.
136 Afaiden & Married Life
1643. Now, Mr. Agnezv's Looks expreft
fuch Pleafure with both, that it
were difficult to tell which felt the
moll elated; foe calling me deare
Moll (he hath hitherto Miftrefs
Miltoned me ever lince I fett Foot
in his Houfe), he fayed he would
not interrupt our Studdies, though
he fhould be within Call, and foe
left us. I had not felt foe happy
fince Father'' s Birthday; and, though
Rofe kept me clofe to my Book for
two Hours, I found her a far lefs
irkfome Tutor than deare Robin.
Then fhe went away, finging, to
make Roger''s favourite Difh, and
afterwards we tooke a briik Walke,
and came Home hungrie enoughe to
Dinner.
There is a daily Beauty in Rofe^s
Life, that I not onlie admire, but
am readie to envy. Oh! if Milton
lived but in the poorefl Houfe in
the
of Mary Powell.
the Countrie, methinks I coulde be
very happy with him.
Chancinof to make the above
Remark to Rofc^ fhe cried, " And
why not be happy with him in
Alder/gate Street?'''' I briefly re-
plied that he mufl get the Houfe
firft, before it were poflible to tell
whether I coulde be happy there or
not. Rofe fl:ared, and exclaimed,
" Why, where do you fuppofe him
to be now ? " " Where but at
ii.
a
a
a
a
the Taylor's in Bride^s Church-
yard V I replied. She clafpt her
Hands with a Look I fhall never
forget, and exclaimed in a Sort of
vehement Paflion, " Oh, Coiijin.,
" Coujifiy how you throw your own
" Happineffe away ! How awfulle
" a Paufe muft have taken place in
" your Intercourfe with the Man
" whom you promifed to abide by
" till
137
1643.
Bedtime.
138 Maiden & Married Life
1643. " till Death, lince you know not
" that he- has long lince taken Pof-
" feffion of his new Home ; that he
" ftrove to have it ready for you at
" MickaelmaJ/e ! "
Doubtleffe I lookt noe lefs fur-
prifed than I felt ; — a fuddain Prick
at the Heart prevented Speech ;
but it fhot acroffe my Heart that I
had made out the Words " Alderf-
''■ gate^'' and "new Home," in the
Fragments of the Letter my Father
had torn. Ro/e, mif judging my
Silence, burft forth anew with, " Oh,
' Coujin ! Coujifi ! coulde anie Home,
' however dull and noifefome, drive
' me from Roger Agnew ? Onlie
' think of what you are doing, — of
' what you are leaving undone ! —
' of what you are preparing againft
'yourfelf! To put the Wicked-
' neffe of a felfifh Courfe out of the
' Account, onlie think of its Mellan-
" cholie.
of Mary Powell.
" cholie, its Miferie, — deflitute of
" alle the fweet, bright, frefh Well-
" fprings of Happineffe; — unbleft
"by Godr
Here Rofe wept paflionatelie, and
clafpt her Arms about me; but,
when I began to fpeak, and to tell
her of much that had made me
miferable, fhe hearkened in motion-
leffe Silence, till I told her that
Father had torn the Letter and beaten
the Meffenger. Then fhe cried,
" Oh, I fee now what may and fhall
" be done ! Roger fhall be Peace-
" maker," and ran off with Joyful-
neffe; I not withholding her. But
I can never be joyfulle more — he
cannot be Day's-man betwixt us
now — 'tis alle too late!
Now that I am at Forejl Hill
agayn, I will effay to continue my
Journalling. —
Mr.
139
1643-
Nov. 28.
140
Maiden & Married Life
Mr. Agnew was out; and though
a keene wintry Wind was blowing,
and Rofe was fuffering from Colde,
yet Ihe went out to liften for his
Horfe's Feet at the Gate, with onlie
her Apron caft over her Head.
Shortlie, he returned; and I heard
him fay in a troubled Voice, " Alle
" are in Arms at Forejl HilW I
felt foe greatlie fhocked as to neede
to fit downe inftead of running forthe
to learn the News. I fuppofed the
parliamentarian Soldiers had ad-
vanced, unexpe6ledlie, upon Oxford.
His next Words were, ''•Dick is
" coming for her at Noone — poor
" Soul, I know not what fhe will
" doe — her Father will truft her
" noe longer with you and me."
Then I faw them both palTe the
Window, flowlie pacing together,
and haftened forth to joyn them;
but they had turned into the pleached
Alley,
of Mary Powell.
Alley, their Backs towards me; and
both in fuch earneft and apparentlie
private Communication, that I dared
not interrupt them till they turned
aboute, which was not for fome
While; for they flood for fome
Time at the Head of the Alley, flill
with theire Backs to me, Rofe's Hair
blowing in the cold Wind; and
once or twice fhe feemed to put
her kerchief to her Eyes.
Now, while I ftood mazed and
uncertain, I hearde a diftant Clatter
of Horfe's Feet, on the hard Road
a good Way off, and could defcrie
Dick coming towards Shecpfcotc.
Rofe faw him too, and commenced
running towards me; Mr. Agnew
following with long Strides. Rofe
drew me back into the Houfe, and
fayd, kiffing me, " Deareft Moll^ I
"am foe forry; Roger hath feen
" your Father this Morn, and he
"will
141
1643.
142
1643-
Maiden & Married Life
" will on no Account fpare you to
" us anie longer; and Dick is coming
" to fetch you even now." I layd,
"Is Father ill?" "Oh no," replied
Mr. Agneiv; then coming up, " He
" is not ill, but he is perturbed at
" fomething which has occurred;
" and, in Truth, foe am I. — But
" remember, Miftrefs Milton^ re-
" member, dear Coiifin^ that when
" you married, your Father'' s Guar-
" dianfhip of you palTed into the
" Hands of your Hufband — your
" Hufband's Houfe was thenceforthe
"your Home; and in quitting it
" you committed a Fault you may
" yet repaire, though this ofFenlive
" A61 has made the Difficultie much
"greater." — "Oh, what has hap-
" pened ? " I impatientlie cried.
Juft then, Dick comes in with his
ufual blunt Salutations, and then
cries, " Well, Moll, are you ready
"to
of Mary Powell.
"to goe back?" "Why fhould I
"be?" I layd, "when I am foe
"happy here? unlels FatJicr is ill,
" or Mr. Agnew and Rofe are tired
" of me." They both interrupted,
there was Nothing they foe much
defired, at this prefent, as that I
fhoulde prolong my Stay. And you
know, Dick^ I added, that Forejt
Hill is not foe pleafant to me juft
now as it hath commonlie beene, by
Reafon of your Oxford Companions.
He brieflie fayd, I neede not mind
that, they were coming no more to
the Houfe, Father had decreed it.
And you know w^ell enough, AIoll^
that what Father decrees, muft be,
and he hath decreed that you mufl
come Home now; foe no more
Ado, I pray you, but fetch your
Cloak and Hood, and the Horfes
fhall come round, for 'twill be late
ere we reach Home, " Na}', you
a
m
uft
143
1643.
144
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
" muft dine here at all Events,"
fayd Rofe; " I know, Dick, you love
"roall Pork." Soe Dick relented.
Soe Rofe, turning to me, prayed me
to bid Cicely haften Dinner; the
which I did, tho' thinking it ftrange
Rofe fhould not goe herfelf. But, as
I returned, I hearde her fay. Not a
Word of it, dear Dick, at the leaft,
till after Dinner, left you fpoil her
Appetite. Soe Dick fayd he fhoulde
goe and look after the Horfes. I
fayd then, brilklie, I fee fomewhat
is the Matter — pray tell me what it
is. But Rofe looked quite dull, and
walked to the Window. Then Mr.
Agnew fayd, " You feem as difla-
" tisfied to leave us, Cotfin, as we
"are to lofe you; and yet you are
" going back to Forefl Hill — to that
" Home in which you will doubt-
" leife be happy to live all your
"Dayes."— "At Forefl Hill?'' I
fayd.
of Mary Powell.
fayd, " Oh no ! I hope not." " And
" why ? " fayd he quicklie. I hung
my Head, and muttered, " I hope,
' fome Daye, to goe back to Mr.
' MiltonP " And why not at
' once ? " fayd he. I fayd, " Father
' would not let me." " Nay, that
' is Childifh," he anfwered, " your
' Father could not hinder 3/ou if
' you wanted not the Mind to goe
' — it was your firft feeming foe
' loth to return, that made him
' think you unhappie and refufe to
part with you." I fayd, " And
' what if I were unhappie ? " He
paufed; and knew not at the Moment
what Anfwer to make, but fhortlie
replyed by another Queftion, " What
" Caufe had you to be foe .^" I fayd,
" That was more eafily afkt than
" anfwered, even if there were anie
" Neede I fhoulde anfwer it, or he
" had anie Right to afk it." He cried
^ in
H5
1643.
146
Maiden & Married Life
1643.
in an Accent of Tenderneffe that
flill wrings my Heart to remember,
" Oh, quellion not the Right ! I
" only wifh to make you happy.
" Were you not happy with Mr.
" Milton during the Week you fpent
" together here at Sheep/cote ? "
Thereat I coulde not refrayn from
burfting into Tears. Rofe now
fprang forward ; but Mr. Agnew
fayd, " Let her weep, let her weep,
" it will do her good." Then, alle
at once it occurred to me that my
Hufband was awaiting me at Home,
and I cried, " Oh, is Mr. Milton at
'' Forejl HillV and felt my Heart
full of Gladnefs. Mr. Agnew an-
fwered, " Not foe, not foe, poor
^^ Moll:'''' and, looking up at him,
I faw him wiping his Brow, though
the Daye was foe chill. " As well
"tell her now," fayd he to Rofe;
and then taking my Hand, " Oh,
" Mrs.
of Mary Powell.
' Mrs. Milton^ can you wonder that
'your Hufband fhould be angry?
' How can you wonder at anie Evil
' that may refult from the Provoca-
' tion you have given him ? What
' Marvell, that lince you caft him
' off, all the fweet Fountains of
' his Affe6lions would be embittered,
' and that he fhould retaliate by
' feeking a Separation, and even a
'Divorce?" — There I ftopt him
with an Outcry of " Divorce ? "
Even foe," he moft mournfully
replyd, " and I feeke not to excufe
' him, fmce two Wrongs make not
'a Right." "But," I cried, paf-
lionately weeping, " I have given
him noe Caufe; my Heart has
never for a Moment ftrayed to
another, nor does he, I am fure,
expe6t it." "Ne'ertheleffe," en-
joyned Mr. Agnew, " he is foe
" aggrieved and chafed, that he has
" followed
147
1643.
148
i643-
Maiden & Married Life
" followed up what he confiders
(.(.
a
a
your Breach of the Marriage
" Contra6t by writing and publifhing
" a Book on Divorce; the Tenor
" of which coming to your Father's
" Ears, has violently incenfed him.
And now, dear Coiijin^ having, by
' your Waywardnefs, kindled this
Flame, what remains for you but
" to — nay, hear me, hear me, Moll^
" for Dick is coming in, and I may
" not let him hear me urge you to
" the onlie Courfe that can regayn
" your Peace — Mr. Milto7t is ftill
" your Hufband \ cache of you have
" now Something to forgive ; do
" you be the firfte ; nay, feeke his
" Forgiveneffe, and you fhall be
" happier than 3^ou have been yet."
— But I was weeping without
Controule ; and Dick coming in,
and with Dick the Dinner, I afkt
to be excufed, and foe foughte my
Chamber,
of Mary Powell.
Chamber, to weep there without
Reftraynt or Witnefle. Poor Rofe
came up, as foone as fhe coulde leave
the Table, and told me fhe had
eaten as little as I, and woulde not
even preffe me to eat. But fhe
careft me and comforted me, and
urged in her owne tender Way alle
that had beene fayd by Mr. Agnew;
even protefling that if fhe were in
my Place, fhe woulde not goe back
to Forejl Hi/l, but ftraight to London,
to entreat with Mr. Milton for his
Mercy. But I told her I could not
do that, even had I the Means for
the Journey; for that my Heart
was turned againft the Man who
coulde, for the venial Offence of a
young Wife, in abiding too long
with her old Father, not onlie cafl
her off from his Love, but hold her
up to the World's Blame and Scorn,
by making their domeflic Quarrel
the
149
1643.
I50
1643.
Maiden & Married Life
the Matter for a printed Attack.
Rofe fayd, " I admit he is wrong,
" but indeed, indeed, Moll, you are
" wrong too, and you were wrong
"y^^-"" ^f^d fhe fayd this foe often,
that at length we came to croffer
Words; when Dick, calling to me
from below, would have me make
hafte, which I was glad to doe, and
left Shccpfcotc lefs regrettfullie than
I had expe6led. Rofe kift me with
her graveft Face. Mr. Agnezo put
me on my Horfe, and fayd, as he
gave me the Rein, "Now think!
"now think! even yet!" and then,
as I filently rode off, " God blefs
" you."
I held down my Head; but, at
the Turn of the Road, lookt back,
and faw him and Rofe watching us
from the Porch. Dick cried, " I
" am righte glad we are off at laft,
" for Father is downright crazie
" aboute
of Mary Powell.
" aboute this Bufineffe, and miftruft-
" fulle of AgiieiJus Influence over
"you," — and would have gone on
railing, but I bade him for Pitie's
Sake be quiete.
The Effe6ls of my owne FoUie,
the Loffe of Home, Hufband, Name,
the Opinion of the Agiiczus^ the
Opinion of the Worlde, rofe up
agaynfl me, and almoft drove me
mad. And, juft as I was thinking
I had better lived out my Dayes and
dyed earlie in Brides CJmrchyarde
than that allc this fhould have come
about, the fuddain Recollection of
what Rofe had that Morning tolde
me, which foe manie other Thoughts
had driven out of my Head, viz.
that Mr. Milton had, in' his Defire
to pleafe me, while I was onlie bent
on pleafing myfclf, been fecretly
ftriving to make readie the Aldcrfgate
Street Houfe agaynfl my Return, —
foe
151
1643.
152
1643.
1644.
March 25.
Maiden & Married Life
foe overcame me, that I wept as I
rode along. Nay, at the Corner of
a branch Road, had a Mind to beg
Dick to let me goe to London ; but
a Glance at his dogged Countenance
fufficed to forefhovv my Anfwer.
Half dead with Fatigue and Griefe
when I reached Home, the tender
Embraces of my Father and Mother
completed the Overthrowe of my
Spiritts. I tooke to my Bed ; and
this is the firft Daye I have left it \
nor will they let me fend for Rofe,
nor even tell her I am ill.
The new Year opens drearilie, on
Affairs both publick and private.
The Loaf parted at Breakfaft this
Morning, which, as the Saying goes,
is a Sign of Separation ; but Mothen
onlie fayd 'twas becaufe it was badly
kneaded, and chid Margery. She
me, but now,
how
hath beene
telling
of Mary Powell.
how I mighte have 'fcaped all my
Troubles, and feene as much as I
woulde of her and Father^ and yet
have contented Mr. Milton and beene
counted a good Wife. Noe Advice
foe ill to bear as that which comes
too late.
I am fick of this journalling, foe
fhall onlie put downe the Date of
Robin's leaving Home. Lord have
Mercy on him, and keepe him in
Safetie. This is a fhorte Prayer ;
therefore, eafier to be often re-
peated. When he kiffed me, he
whifpered, " Moll^ pray for me."
Father does not feeme to mifs
Robin much, tho' he dailie drinks
his Health after that of the King.
Perhaps he did not mifs me anie
more when I was in London, though
it was true and naturall enough he
fhould
153
1644.
29th.
154
i644-
Maiden & Married Life
fhoLild like to fee me agayn. We
lliould have beene ufcd to our Sepa-
ration by this Time ; there would
have beene Nothino: corroding in
it
I pray for Robin everie Night.
Since he went, the Houfe has loft
its Sunihine. When I was foe
anxious to return to Foreji Hill, I
never counted on his leaving' it.
Oh me, what would I give to fee
the Skirts of Mr. Milion's Garments
agayn ! My Heart is fick unto
Death. I have been reading fome
of my yournall, and tearing out
much childifh Nonfenfe at the
Beginning ; but coulde not deftroy
the painfulle Records of the laft
Year. How unhappy a Creature
am I ! — wearie, wearie of vc\y Life,
yet no Ways inclined for Death.
Lord, have Mercy upon me.
I
of Mary Powell.
I fpend much of my Time, now,
in the Book-room, and, though I
efTay not to purfue the Latin, I read
much EngliJJi, at the leaft, more
than ever I did in my Life before ;
but often I fancy I am reading when
I am onlie dreaming. Oxford is far
too gay a Place for me now ever to
goe neare it, but my Brothers are
much there, and Fathci' in his Farm,
and Mother in her Kitchen ; and
the Neighbours, when they call,
look on me flrangelie, fo that I
have noe Love for them. How
different is Rofs holy, fecluded, yet
cheerefuUe Life^at Sheepfcote ! She
hath a N'urferie now, foe cannot
come to me, and Father likes not
I fhould goe to her.
They fay their Majefl;3^es' Parting
at Abi7igdon was very forrowfulle
and tender. The Lord fend them
better
155
1644.
April 3.
5th.
iS6
1644.
Maiden & Married Life
better Times ! The Qiieen is to
my Mind a moft charming Lady,
and well worthy of his Majefty's
Affe6lion ; yet it feems to me amiffe,
that thro' her Influence, lafl; Sum-
mer, the Opportunitie of Pacifica-
tion was lofl;. But flie was elated,
and naturallie enoughe, at her per-
fonall Succefles from the Time of
her landing. To me, there feems
Nothing foe good as Peace. I know,
indeede, Mr. Milton holds that there
may be fuch Things as a holy War
and a curfed Peace.
April 10. Father^ having a Hoarfenefs, hath
deputed me, of late, to read the
Morning and Evening Prayers.
How beautifulle is our Liturgie !
I grudge at the Puritans for having
abolifhed it ; and though I felt not
its comprehenfive Fullnefle before
I married, nor indeed till now, yet
I
of Mary Powell.
I wearied to Death in London at
the puritanicall Ordinances and
Confcience-meetings and extempore
Prayers, wherein it was foe oft the
Speaker's Care to fliow Men how
godly he was. Nay, I think Mr.
Milton altogether wrong in the View
he takes of praying to God in other
Men's Words ; for doth he not doe
foe, everie Time he followeth the
Senfe of another Man's extempore
Prayer, wherein he is more at his
Mercy and Caprice than when he
hath a printed Form fet down,
wherein he fees what is coming ?
Walking: in the Home-clofe this
Morning, it occurred to me that
Mr. Milton intended bringing me to
Forejl Hill about this Time ; and
that if I had abided patientlie with
him through the Winter, we might
now have beene both here happily
together ;
157
1644.
June 8.
iS8
1644.
June 23.
Maiden & Married Life
together ; untroubled by that Sting
which now poifons everie Enjoyment
of mine, and perhaps of his. Lord,
be merciful to me a Sinner.
Juft after writing the above, I
was in the Garden, gathering a few
Coronation Flowers and Sops-in-
Wine, and thinking they were of
deeper Crimfon at Sheep/cote, and
wondering what Rofe was juft then
about, and whether had I beene
born in her Place, I fhoulde have
beene as goode and happy as fhe, —
when Harry came up, looking fome-
what grave. I fayd, " What is
" the Matter ? " He gave Anfwer,
" Rofe hath loft her Child." Oh !
that we fhould live but a two
Hours' Journey apart, and that fhe
coulde lofe a Child three Months
olde whom I had never feene?
I ran to Father, and never left off
praying
of Mary Powell.
pra3'ing him to let me goe to her
till he confented.
— What, and if I had begged as
hard, at the firfte, to goe back to
Mr. Milton 1 might he not have
confented then?
. . . Soe Harry took me ; and as
we drew neare Sheep/cote, I was
avifed to think how grave, how
barely friendlie had beene our laft
Parting ; and to ponder, w^ould Rofe
make me welcome now ? The
Infant, Harry tolde me, had beene
dead fome Dayes ; and, as we came
in Sight of the little grey old Church,
we faw a Knot of People coming
out of the Churchyard, and guefled
the Baby had juft beene buried.
Soe it proved — Mr. Agnew's Houfe-
door ftood ajar ; and when we
tapped foftlie and Cicely admitted
us, we could fee him ftanding by
Rofe^ who was fitting on the Ground
and
159
1644.
i6o
1644.
Maiden & Married Life
and crying as if fhe would not be
comforted. When fhe hearde my
Voice, fhe ftarted up, flung her
Arms about me, crying more bitterlie
than before, and I cried too ; and
Mr. Agnciu went away with Harry.
Then Rofe fayd to me, " You mufl;
" not leave me agayn." . . .
.... In the Cool of the Evening,
when Harry had left us, fhe took
me into the Churchyarde, and fcat-
tered the little Grave with Flowers ;
and then continued fitting belide it
on the Gralfe, quiete, but not com-
fortleflTe. I am avifed to think fhe
prayed. Then Mr. Agnew came
forthe and fate on a flat Tombftone
hard by ; and without one Word of
Introdu(5lion took out his Pfalter,
and commenced readincj the Pfalms
for that Evening's Service ; to wit,
the 41ft, the 42d, the 43de ; in a
low folemne Voice ; and methoughte
I
of Mary Powell.
I never in m}^ Life hearde aniething
to equall it in the Way of Confola-
tion. Ro/e's heavie Eyes graduallie
lookt up from the Ground into her
Hufband's Face, and thence up to
Heaven. After this, he read, or
rather repeated, the Collect at the
end of the Buriall Service, putting
this Expreffion, — "As our Hope is,
" this our deare Infant doth." Then
he went on to fay in a foothing
Tone, "There hath noe Misfortune
' happened to us, but fuch as is
' common to the Lot of alle Men.
' We are alle Sinners, even to the
' youngeft, fayreft, and feeminglie
' pureft among us ; and Death
' entered the World by Sin, and,
' conftituted as we are, we would
' not, even if we could, difpenfe
with Death. For, where doth it
convey us ? From this burthen-
fome, miferable World, into the
M " generall
i6i
1644.
1 62 Maiden & Married Life
1644. " generall AlTemblie of Chrifl^s Firft-
" born, to be united with the Spiritts
" of the Juft made perfe6t, to par-
" take of everie Enjoyment which
" in this World is unconnected with
" Sin, together with others that are
" unknowne and unfpeakable. And
" there, we fhall agayn have Bodies
" as well as Soules ; Eyes to fee,
" but not to fhed Tears ; Voices to
" fpeak and fing, not to utter La-
" mentations ; Hands to doe God''s
" Work ; Feet, and it may be,
" Wings, to carry us on his Errands.
" Such will be the BlefTednefs of his
" glorified Saints : even of thofe
" who, having been Servants of
" Satan till the eleventh Hour,
" laboured penitentlie and diligentlie
" for their heavenlie Mafter one
" Hour before Sunfet ; but as for
" thofe who, dying in mere Infancie,
" never committed aftuall Sin, they
" follow
of Mary Powell.
163
((
" follow the Lamb w^hithersoever
" he goeth ! ' Oh, think of this,
" dear Rofe^ and forrow not as thofe
" without Hope ; for be affured,
" your Child hath more reall Reafon
to be grieved for you, than you
" for him: "
With this, and like Difcourfe,
that diftilled like the Dew, or the
fmall Rain on the tender Graffe,
did Roger Agneiv comfort his Wife,
untill the Moon had rifen. Likewife
he fpake to us of thofe who lay
buried arounde, how one had died
of a broken Heart, another of fud-
dain Joy, another had let Patience
have her perfe6l Work through
Years of lingering Difeafe. Then
we walked flowlie and compofedlie
Home, and ate our Supper peace-
fullie, Rofe not rcfufing to eat,
thouo-h fhe took but little.
1644.
Since that Evening, fhe hath
5
at
164
1644.
Maiden & Married Life
at Mr. AgneuPs Wifh, gone much
among the Poor, reading to one,
working for another, carrying Food
and Medicine to another ; and in
this I have borne her Companie.
I Hke it well. Methinks how
pleafant and feemlie are the Duties
of a country Minilter's Wife ! a
God-fearing Woman, that is, who
confidereth the Poor and Needy,
infleade of aiming to be frounced
and purfled like her richeft Neigh-
bours. Mr. Agnew was reading to
us, laft Night, of Bernard Gilpin —
he of whom the Lord Burleigh fayd,
" Who can blame that Man for not
" accepting a Bifhopric ? " How
charmed were we with the Defcrip-
tion of the Simplicitie and Hofpital-
itie of his Method of living at
Houghton ! — There is another Place
of nearlie the fame Name, in
BuckinghamJJiire — not Houghton^ but
Norton^
of Mary Powell.
Hortou, .... where one Mr. yokn
Milton fpent five of the beft Years
of his Life, — and where methinks
his Wife could have been happier
with him than in Bride s Chtirch-
yarde. — But it profits not to wifh
and to will. — What was to be, had
Need to be, foe there's an End.
Mr. Agnew fayd to me this Morn-
ing, fomewhat gravelie, " I obferve,
" Coiifin^ you feem to confider 3-our-
" felfe the Victim of Circumftances.''
" And am I not ?" I replied. " No,"
he anfwered, " Circumflance is a
falfe God, unrecognifed by the
Chriftian, who contemns him, and
" makes him though a ftubborn
"yet a profitable Servant."— "' That
" may be alle very grand for a Man
" to doe," I fayd. " Very grand,
" but very feafiblc, for a Woman as
" well as a Man," rejoined Mr.
Agnew^
a
u
165
1644.
Aug. I.
i66
1644.
Alaiden & Married Life
Ag7ieiv, " and we lliall be driven to
" the Wall allc our Lives, unlefs we
" have this vi6lorious Strug-ole with
fciS)'
" Circumftances. I feldom allude.
u
Co-iijiii, to yours, which are almofte
" too delicate for me to meddle
'' with ; and yet I hardlie feele
"juftified in letting foe many Op-
" portunitles efcape. Do I offend ?
" or may I go on ? — Onlie think,
" then, how voluntarilie you have
" placed yourfelf in your prefent
" uncomfortable Situation. The
" Tree cannot refift the grraduall
" Growth of the Mofs upon it ;
" but you might, anie Day, anie
" Hour, have freed yourfelf from
" the equallie graduall Formation
" of the Net that has enclofed you
" at laft. You entered too haflilie
" into your firfte — nay, let that
" pafs, — you gave too fhorte a
" Triall of your new Home before
u
you
of Mary Powell.
167
you became difgufted with it.
Admit it to have beene dull, even
unhealthfulle, were you juftified
in forfaking it at a Month's
End ? But your Hufband gave
you Leave of iVbfence, though
obtayned on falfe Pretences. —
When you found them to be falfe,
fhould you not have cleared your-
felf to him of Knowledge of the
Deceit ? Then your Leave, foe
obtayned, expired — fhoulde you
not have returned then ? — Your
Health and Spiritts were re-
cruited ; your Hufband wrote to
reclaim you — fhoulde you not
have returned then ? He pro-
vided an Efcort, whom your
Father beat and drove away. —
If you had inlifled on going to
your Hufband, might you not
have gone then ? Oh, Coiijin, you
dare not look up to Heaven and
fay
1644.
1 68 Maiden & Married Life
1644. " ^^y yo^^ have been the Viftim of
" Circumftances."
I made no Anfwer ; onlie felt
much moven, and very angrie. I
fayd, " If I wifhed to goe back,
" Mr. Milton w^oulde not receive me
" now."
"Will you try?" fayd Roger.
" Will you but let me try ? Will
" you let me write to him ? "
I had a Mind to fay "Yes." —
Infteade, I anfwered " No."
" Then there's an End," cried he
fharplie. " Had you made but one
" fayre Triall, whether fuccefsfulle
" or noc, I coulde have been fatisfied
" — no, not fatisfied, but I woulde
" have efleemed you, coulde have
" taken your Part. As it is, the
" lefs I fay juft now, perhaps, the
" better. Forgive me for having
" fpoken at alle."
Afterwards, I hearde him
fay
of Mary Powell.
fay to Rofe of me, " I verilie
" believe there is Nothing in her
" on which to make a permanent
" Impreffion. I verilie think fhe
" loves everie one of thofe long
" Curls of hers more than fhe loves
"Mr. MiltonP
(Note: — I will cut them two
Inches fhorter to-night. And the}^
will grow all the falter.)
.... Oh, my fad Heart, Roger
Agnew hath pierced you at laft !
I was moved more than he
thought, by what he had fayd in
the Morning; and, in writing down
the Heads of his Speech, to kill
Time, a kind of Refentment at
myfelfe came over me, unlike to
what I had ever felt before ; in fpite
of my Folly about my Curls.
Seeking for fome Trifle in a Bag
that had not been fliaken out lince
I brought it from London^ out
tumbled
169
1644.
170
1644-
Maiden & Married Life
tumbled a Key with curious Wards
— I knew it at once for one that
belonged to a certa'yn Algum-wood
Cafket Mr. Milto7t had Recourfe to
dailie, becaufe he kept fmall Change
in it ; and I knew not I had brouaht
it away ! 'Twas worked in Gro-
tefque, the Calket, by Benvenuto,
for Clement the Seventh, who for
fome Reafon woulde not have it;
and foe it came fomehow to Cle-
mentillo, who gave it to Mr. Milton.
Thought I, how uncomfortable the
Lofs of this Key muft have made
him ! he mufl have needed it a
hundred Times ! even if he hath
bought a new Cafket, I- will for it
he habituallie goes aga3^n and agayn
to the old one, and then he remem-
bers that he loft the Key the fame
Day that he loft his Wife. I
heartilie wifti he had it back.
Ah, but he feels not the one Lofs
as
of Mary Powell.
171
as he feels the other. Nay, but 1644.
it is as well that one of them,
tho' the LelTer, fhould be repaired.
'Twill fhew Signe of Grace, my
thinking of him, and may open
the Way, if God wills, to fome
Interchange of KindneiTe, however
fleeting.
Soe I foughte out Mr. AgneWj
tapping at his Studdy Doore. He
fayd, "Come in," drylie enoughe ;
and there were he and Rofe reading
a Letter. I fayd, " I want you to
"write for me to Mr. MiltonP He
gave a four Look, as much as to fay
he difliked the Office ; which threw
me back, as 'twere ; he having foe
lately propofed it himfelf Rofes
Eyes, however, dilated with fweete
Pleafure, as flie lookt from one to
the other of us.
"Well, — I fear 'tis too late," fayd
he at length relu6tantlie, I mighte
almofl;
172 Maiden & Married Life
1644. almofl fay grufflie, — "what am I to
"write ?"
"To tell him I have this Key,"
I made Anfwer faltering.
"That Key!" cried he.
"Yes, the Key of his Algum-
" wood Calket, which I knew not
" I had, and which I think he mufl
" mifs dailie."
He lookt at me with the utmofl
Impatience. "And is that alle.?"
he fayd.
" Yes, alle," I fayd trembling.
" And have you nothing more to
"tell him?" fayd he.
"No — "after a Paufe, I replyed.
Rofs Countenance fell.
" Then you muft afk fome one
" elfe to write for you, Mrs. Milton,'''^
burfte forthe Roger Agnew, " unlefs
" you choofe to write for yourfelf
" I have neither Part nor Lot in
" it."
I
of Mary Powell.
I burfte forthe into Teares.
— "No, Rofe, no," repeated Mr.
Agnew, putting afide his Wife, who
woulde have interceded for me, —
her Teares have noe Effe6l on me
now — the}^ proceed, not from a
contrite Heart, they are the Tears
of a Child that cannot brook to
be chidden for the Waywardnefle
in which it perlifls."
" You doe me Wrong everie
Way," I fayd ; " I came to you
willing and defirous to doe what
you yourfelfe woulde, this Morn-
ing, have had me doe."
" But in how ftrange a Way ! "
cried he. " At a Time when anie
" Renewal of your Intercourfe re-
" quires to be condu6led with the
" utmoft Delicacy, and even with
" more Shew of Conceffion on your
" Part than, an Hour ago, I fhould
" have deemed ncedfulle, — to pro-
" pofe
173
1644.
174
1644-
Maiden & Married Life
" pofe an abrupt, trivial Communi-
" cation about an old Key ! "
" It needed not to have been
" abrupt," I fayd, " nor yet trivial ;
" for I meant it to have beene
" exprefh kindlie."
" You faid not that before,"
anfwered he.
" Becaufe you gave me not Time.
" — Becaufe you chid me and fright-
" ened me."
He flood filent, fome While, upon
this \ grave, yet fofter, and mechani-
callie playing with the Ke}', which
he had taken from my Hand. Rofe
looking in his Face anxiouflie. At
lengthe, to difturbe his Reverie, fhe
playfulle tooke it from him, faying,
in School-girl Phrafe,
" This is the Key of the
" Kingdom ! "
" Of the Kingdom of Heaven,
" it mighte be ! " exclaimed Roger^
a
if
of Mary Powell.
" if we knew how to ufe it arighte !
" If we knew but how to fit it to
"the Wards of Miltoiis Heart! —
" there's the Difficultie .... a
" greater one, poor Moll, than you
" know ; for hithertoe, alle the Re-
" lu6lance has been on your Part.
" But now . . . ."
"\Yhat now ?" I anxiouflie aikt.
" We were talking of you but as
" you rejoyned us," fayd Mr. Agnew,
"and I was telling i'?^ that hithertoe
" I had confidered the onlic Obftacle
" to a Reunion arofe from a falfe
" Imprellion of your own, that Mr.
" Milton coulde not make 3'ou happy.
" But now I have beene led to the
" Conclufion that you cannot make
" him foe, which increafes the Diffi-
" cultie."
After a Paufe, I fayd, "What
"makes you think foe?"
" You and he have made me
" think
175
1644.
176
Maiden & Married Life
1644.
think foe," he replyed. " Firft for
yourfelf, clear Moll, putting afide
for a Time the Conficleration of
your Youth, Beauty, FranknefTe,
Mirthfullenefle, and a certayn girl-
ifh Drollerie and Mifchiefe that are
all very well in fitting Time and
Place, — what remains in you for
a Mind like John Millo7t's to repofe
upon ? what Stabilitie ? what Sym-
pathie ? what fheadfaft Principle ?
You take noe Pains to apprehend
and relifh his favourite Purfuits ;
you care not for his wounded
Feelings, you confult not his In-
terefts, anie more than your owne
Duty. Now, is fuch the Cha-
ra6ler to make Millon happy ? "
'" No one can anfwer that but
" himfelf," I replyed, deeplie mor-
tyfide.
" Well, he has anfwered it," fayd
Mr. Ag7iew, taking up the Letter
he
of Mary Powell.
he and Rofe had beene reading when
I interrupted them. ..." You
" muft know, Coujiit, that his and
" my clofe Friendfhip hath beene
" a good deal interrupted by this
" Matter. 'Twas under my Roof
" you met. Ro/e had imparted to
" me much of her earlie Intereft
a
a
iC.
a
in you. I fancied you had good
' Difpolitions which, under maf-
terlie Trayning, would ripen into
" noble Principles ; and therefore
promoted your Marriage as far as
my Intereft wdth your Father had
" Weight. I own I was furprifed
" at his eafilie obtayned Confent ....
" but, that you, once domefhicated
" with fuch a INIan as yo/ui Milton,
" fhould find your Home unin-
terefting, your Affeftions free to
ftray back to your owne Family,
" was what I had never contem-
" plated."
N Here
a
a
177
1644.
178
Maiden & Married Life
1644.
Here I made a Show of taking
the Letter, but he held it back.
" No, Moll^ you difappointed us
" everie Way. And, for a Time,
" Rofe and I were fo afhamed, for
" you rather than of you, that we
" left noe Means negle6ted of trying
" to preferve your Place in your
" Hufband's Regard. But you did
" not bear us out ; and then he be-
" ganne to take it amiffe that we
" upheld you. Soe then, after fome
" warm and cool Words, our Cor-
" refpondence languifhed ; and hath
" but now beene renewed."
" He has written us a moft kind
" Condolence," interrupted Rofe^
" on the Death of our Baby."
" Yes, moft kindlie, moft nobly
" expreft," fayd Mr. Agnew ; " but
" what a Conclufion ! "
And then, after this long Pre-
amble, he offered me the Letter,
the
of Mary Powell.
the Beginning of which, tho' doubt-
leffe well enough, I marked not,
being impatient to reach the latter
Part ; wherein I found myfelf fpoken
of foe bitterlie, foe harfhlie, as that
I too plainly faw Roger Agnew had
not beene befide the Mark when he
decided I could never make Mr.
Milton Happy. Payned and wounded
Feeling made me lay alide the Letter
without proffering another Word,
and retreat without foe much as
a Sigh or a Sob into mine own
Chamber ; but noe longer could the
Reftraynt be maintained. I fell to
weeping foe paffionatelie that Rofe
prayed to come in, and condoled
with me, and advifed me, foe as that
at length my Weeping abated, and I
promifed to return below when I
fhoulde have bathed mine Eyes and
fmoothed my Hair ; but I have not
gone down yet.
I
179
1644.
i8o
Maiden & Married Life
1644.
Bedtime.
I think I lliall fend to Father to
have me Home at the Beo-innin^ of
next Week. Rofe needes me not,
now ; and it cannot be pleafant to
Mr. Agnew to fee m}^ forrowfulle
Face about the Houfe. His Re-
proofe and my Hufband's together
have riven my Heart ; I think I
fliall never laugh agayn, nor fmile
but after a piteous Sorte ; and foe
People will ceafe to love me, for
there is Nothing in me of a graver
Kind to draw their Affeftion ; and
foe I fliall lead a moping Life unto
the End of my Dayes.
— Luckilie for me, Rofe hath
much Sewing to doe ; for fhe hath
undertaken with great Energie her
Labours for the Poore, and con-
fequentlie fpends lefs Time in her
Hufband's Studdy ; and, as I help
her to the beft of my Means, my
Sewing hides my Lack of Talking,
and
of Mary Powell.
and Mr. Agnew reads to us luch
Books as he deems entertayning ;
yet, half the Time, I hear not what
he reads. Still, I did not deeme fo
much Amufement could have beene
found in Books; and there are fome
of his, that, if not foe cumbrous, I
woulde fain borrow.
I have made up my Mind now,
that I fhall- never fee Mr. Milton
more ; and am refolved to fubmitt
to it without another Tear.
Rofe fayd, this Morning, fhe was
glad to fee me more compofed ;
and foe am I ; but never was more
mile r able.
Mr. AgneuPs religious Services at
the End of the Week have alwaies
more than ufuall Matter and Mean-
inge in them. They are neither foe
drowfy as thofe I have beene for
manie
i8i
1644.
Friday.
Saturday
Night.
l82
1644.
Maide7i & Married Life
manie Years accuftomed to at Home,
nor foe wearifome as to remind
me of the Puritans. Were there
manie fuch as he in our Church,
foe faithfulle, fervent, and thought-
^le, methinks there would be fewer
Schifmaticks; but ftill there woulde
be fome, becaufe there are alwaies
fome that like to be the uppermofl.
.... To-nighte, Mr. Agnew's
Prayers went ftraight to my Heart ;
and I privilie turned fundrie of his
generall Petitions into particular
ones, for myfelf and Robin., and alfo
for Mr. Milton. This gave fuch
unwonted Relief, that lince I entered
into my Clofet, I have repeated the
fame particularlie ; one Requeft
feeming to grow out of another, till
I remained I know not how long
on my Knees, and will bend them
yet agayn, ere I go to Bed.
How fweetlie the Moon fhines
through
of Mary Powell.
through my Cafement to-night !
I am almofte avifed to accede to
Rof^s Requeft of fl;a3'ing here to the
End of the Month: — everie Thing
here is foe peacefulle ; and Forcji
Hill is dull, now Robin is away.
How blelTed a Sabbath! — Can it
be, that I thought, onlie two Days
back, I fhoulde never know Peace
agayn ? Joy I may not, but Peace
I can and doe. And yet nought
hath amended the unfortunate Con-
dition of mine Affairs; but a different
Colouring is caflc upon them — the
Lord grant that it may laft ! How
hath it come foe, and how may it
be preferred } This Morn, when I
awoke, 'twas with a Senfe of Relief
fuch as we have when we mils Ibme
wearying bodilie Pa^'n ; a Feeling
as though I had bcene forgiven, yet
not by Mr. Milto7i^ for I knew he
had
183
1644.
Sunday-
Evening.
184 Maiden & Married Life
1644. had not forgiven me. Then, it
mufh be, I was forgiven by God;
and w^hy ? I had done Nothing to
get his Forgiveneffe, only prefumed
on his Mercy to afk manie Things
I had noe Right to expe6l. And
yet I felt I was forgiven. Why then
mighte not Mr. Milton fome Day
forgive me ? Should the Debt of
ten thoufand Talents be cancelled,
and not the Debt of a hundred
Pence ? Then I thought on that
fame Word, Talents; and confidered,
had I ten, or even one ? Decided to
conlider it at leifure, more clofelie,
and to make over to God henceforthe,
be they ten, or be it one. Then,
dreffed with much Compofure, and
went down to Breakfaft.
Having marked that Mr. Agnew
and Ro/e affefted not Companie on
this Day, fpent it chieflie by myfelf,
except at Church and Meal-times ;
partlie
of Mary Powell.
partlie in my Chamber, partlie in
the Garden Bowre by the Bee-hives.
Made manie Refolutions, which, in
Chm'ch, I converted into Prayers and
Promifes. Hence, my holy Peace.
Rofe propoled, this Morning, we
fhoulde refume our Studdies. Felt
loath to comply, but did foe never-
theleffe, and afterwards we walked
manie Miles, to vilit fome poor Folk.
This Evening, Mr. Agiieiu read us
the Prologue to the Ca7iterbury
Tales. How lifelike are the Por-
traitures ! I mind me that Mr.
Miltoji ihevved me the Talbot Inn,
that Day we croft the River with
Mr. Marvell.
How heartilie do I wifh I had
never read that fame Letter! — or
rather, that it had never beene
written, ^hus it is, even with our
Wifhes.
185
1644.
Monday.
Tuesday.
i86
1644.
Wednesday.
Maiden & Married Life
Willies. We think ourlelves reafon-
able in wifhing Ibme fmall Thing
were otherwife, which it were quite
as impoffible to alter as fome great
Thing. Nevertheleffe I cannot help
fretting over the Remembrance of
that Part wherein he fpake fuch
bitter Things of my " moft un-
" s:overnecl Pallion for Revellings
" and Junketings." Sure, he would
not call my Life too merrie now,
could he fee me lying wakefulle on
my Bed, could he fee me preventing
the Morning Watch, could he fee
me at my Prayers, at my Books, at
my Needle. . . . He fhall find he
hath judged too hardlie of poor
Moll, even yet.
Took a cold Dinner in a Bafket
with us to-day, and ate our rufticall
Repafl on the Skirt of a Wood,
where we could fee the Squirrels at
theire
of Mary Powell. 187
theire Gambols. Mr. Agiiew lay on 1644.
the Grafle, and Rofe took out her
Knitting, whereat he laught, and
fayd fhe was like the Dutch Women,
that mufl knit, whether mourning
or feafting, and even on the Sabbath.
Having laught her out of her Work,
he drew forth Mr. Georo^e Hcrbcrfs
Poems, and read us a Strayn which
pleafed Rofe and me foe much, that
I fhall copy it herein to have always
by me.
How freft^ oh Lord ; how fiuect and
clean
Are thy Returns ! e^en as the Flowers
in Springs
To which^ bcfide theire ovjne De-
mefne^
The late pent Frofls Tributes of P lea-
fur e bring.
Grief melts away like Snow in Afay,
As if there were noe fuch cold Thing.
Who
i88
1644.
Maiden & Married Life
Who would have thought my JJirivelled
Heart
Woulde have recovered Greennefs ? it
ivas cone
^uite underground^ as Flowers depart
To fee their Mother-root, whe7i they
have blown,
Where they together, alle the hard
Weather,
Dead to the World, keep Houfe alone.
Thefe are thy Wonders, Lord of Power I
Killing and quickening, briitging down
to Hell
And up to Heaven, in an Hour,
Making a Chiming of a paffing Bell.
We fay amifs " tJiis or that is ; "
Thy Word is alle, if we could fpcll.
Oh that I once pafl changing were /
Fafl in thy Paradife, where no Flozvers
can wither ;
Manie
of Mary Powell.
Manie a Spring I JJioot 7ip /aire,
Offering at Heaven^ growing and
groaning thither^
Nor doth my Flower want a Spring
Shower,
My Sins and I Joy 7 ting together.
But while I grow in ajlraight Line,
Still upwards bent, as if 'Heaven were
my own,
Thy Anger comes, and I decline. —
What Froji to that? What Pole is
not the Zone
Where a lie Things burn, when tho2c
dojl tur7i,
And the leafl Frown of thine isfJiew7t ?
A7id now, i7i Age, I bud agay7i,
After foe 7na7iie Deaths, I biid a7id
write,
I once more finell the Dew a7id Rai7i,
A7id relifJi Verfi7ig! Oh my 07ilie
Licrht!
//
189
1644.
190
1644-
Thursday.
Maiden & Married Life
It cannot be that I a7n he
On who7n thy Tempejls fell alle Night?
Thefe are thy Wonders, Lord of Love,
To make us fee we are but Flowers
that glide,
Which, zvhen we once can feel and
prove,
Thou hafl a Garden for tis where to
bide.
Who would be more, fwelling their
Store,
Forfeit their Paradife by theire Pride.
Father fent over Diggory with a
Letter for me from deare Robin :
alfoe, to afk when I was minded to
return Home, as Mother wants to
goe to Sandford. Fixed the Week
after next; but Rofe fays I mult be
here agayn at the Apple-gathering.
Anfwered Robin^s Letter. He look-
eth not for Choyce of fine Words ;
nor
of Mary Powell.
nor noteth an Error here and there
in the Spelling.
Life flows away here in fuch un-
marked Tranquilitie, that one hath
Nothing whereof to write, or to
remember what diftinguiflied one
Day from another. I am fad, yet
not dulle ; methinks I have grown
fome Yeares older fince I came here.
I can fancy elder Women feeling
much as I doe now. I have Nothingr
to defire, Nothing to hope, that is
likelie to come to pafs — Nothing to
regret, except I begin foe far back,
that my whole Life hath neede, as
'twere, to begin over agayn. . . .
Mr. Agnew tranflates to us Portions
of Thuanus his Hiftorie, and the
Letters of Theodore Beza, concerning
the French Reformed Church ; oft
prolix, yet interefting, efpecially
with Mr. Agnew's Comments, and
Allufions
191
1644.
Tuesday.
192
i644-
Maiden & Married Life
Allufions to our own Time, On
the other Hand, Rofe reads Davila^
the fworne Apologifte of Catherine
di Medicis, whofe charming Italian
even I can comprehende ; but alle
is falfe and plaufible. How fad,
that the wrong Partie fhoulde be
vi6torious ! Soe it may befall in
this Land ; though, indeede, I have
hearde foe much bitter Rayling on
bothe Sides, that I know not which
is right. The Line of Demarcation
is not foe diftin6lly drawn, me-
thinks, as 'twas in France. Yet it
cannot be right to take up Arms
agaynft conftituted Authorities ? —
Yet, and if thofe fame Authorities
abufe their Truft ? Nay, Women
cannot underftand thefe Matters,
and I thank Fleaven they need not.
Onlie, they cannot help fiding with
thofe they love ; and fometimes
thofe they love are on oppofite Sides.
Mr.
of Maiy Powell.
Mr. Agnew fayth, the fecular
Arm flioulde never be employed in
fpirituall Matters, and that the
Hiigenots committed a grave Miftake
in chooling Princes and Admirals
for their Leaders, infteade of fimple
Preachers with Bibles in their Hands;
and he afkt, " did Luther or Peter
"" the Hermit moft manifeftlie labour
" with the Bleffing of Godr'
.... I have noted the Heads
of Mr. Agneius Readings, after a
Fafhion of Rofcs^ in order to have
a fhorte, comprehenlive Account of
the Whole ; and this hath abridged
my journalling. It is the more
profitable to me of the two, changes
the fad Current of Thought, and,
though an unaccuftomed Tafk, I like
it well.
On Monday^ I return to Forejl
Hill. I am well pleafed to have yet
o another
193
1644.
Saturday.
194
i644-
Aug. 3.
Maiden & Married Life
another Shccpfcote Sabbath. To-day
we had the rare Event of a Dinner-
gueft ; foe full of what the Rebels
are doing, and alle the Horrors of
Strife, that he feemed to us quiete
Folks, like the Denizen of another
World.
Foreji Hill, Augiijl 3.
Home agayn, and Mother hath
gone on her long intended Vilitt to
Uncle John, taking with her the
two youngell. Father much pre-
occupide, by reafon of the Supplies
needed for his Majefly's Service ;
foe that, fvveet Robin being away,
I find myfelfe lonely. Harry rides
with me in the Evening, but the
Mornings I have alle to myfelf ; and
when I have fulfilled Mother^s
Behefts in the Kitchen and Still-
room, I have nought but to read in
our fomewhat fcant
Colle6lion of
Books,
of Mary Powell.
Books, the mofte Part whereof are
religious. And (not on that Account,
but b}^ reafon I have read the moft
of them before),- methinks I will
write to borrow fome of Rofe / for
Chang-e of Readins^ hath now become
a Want. I am minded, alio, to feek
out and minifter unto fome poore
Folk after her Fafhion. Now that
I am Queen of the Larder, there is
manie a wholefome Scrap at my
Difpofal, and there are likewife
fundrie Ph3'fiques in my Mother's
Clofet, which fhe addeth to Year
by Year, and never wants, we are
foe feldom ill.
Dear Father fayd this Evening,
as we came in from a Walk on the
Terrace, " My fweet Moll^ you were
" ever the Light of the Houfe ; but
" now, though you are more ftaid
" than of former Time, I find you
u
a
195
1644.
Aug. 5.
196
i644-
Same
Nijrht.
Maiden & Married Life
a
a better Companion than ever.
" This laft Vifitt to Sheep/cote hath
" evened your Spiritts."
Poor Father! he knew not how
I lay awake and wept laft Night,
for one I fhall never fee agayn, nor
how the Terrace Walk minded me
of him. My Spiritts may feem even,
and I exert myfelf to pleafe ; but,
within, all is dark Shade, or at beft,
grey Twilight ; and my Spiritts are,
in Fa6f, worfe here than they were
at Sheep/cote^ becaufe, here, I am
continuallie thinking of one whofe
Name is never uttered \ whereas,
there, it was mentioned naturallie
and tenderlie, though fadly. . . .
I will forthe to fee fome of the
poor Folk.
Refolved to make the Circuit of
the Cottages, but onlie reached the
firft, wherein I found Poor Nell in
fuch
of Mary Powell.
fuch Grief of Body and Mind, that
I was avifed to wait with her a long
Time. Alkt why fhe had not fent
to us for Relief; was anfwered fhe
had thought of doing foe, but was
feared of makins: too free. After a
lengthened Vifitt, which feemed to
relieve her Mind, and certaynlie
relieved mine, I bade her Farewell,
and at the Wicket met my Father
coming up with a playn-favoured
but fcholarlike looking reverend
Man. He layd, ''Moll, I could not
" think what had become of you."
I anfwered, I hoped I had not kept
him waiting for Dinner — poor Nell
had entertayned me longer than I
wifht, with the Catalogue of her
Troubles. The Stranger looking
attentively at mc, obferved that may
be the poor woman had entertayned
an
Angrcl
unawares : and added,
" Doubt not. Madam, we woulde
" rather
197
1644.
1 98'
Maiden & Married Life
1644. " rather await our Dinner than that
" you fliould have curtayled 3'our
" Meffage of Charity." Hithertoe,
mv Father had not named this
Gentleman to me ; but now he fayd,
" Child, this is the Reverend Doctor
" Jeremy Taylor^ Chaplain in Ordi-
" narie to his Majefty, and whom
" you know I have heard more than
'' once preach before the King fince
" he abode in Oxford^ Thereon
I made a lowly Reverence, and we
walked homewards together. At
firft, he difcourfed chiefly with my
Father on the Troubles of the Times,
and then he drew me into the Dia-
logue, in the Courfe of which I let
fall a Saying of Mr. AgneiiPs, which
drew from the reverend Gentleman
a refpeftfulle Look I felt I no Way
deferved. Soe then I had to explain
that the Saying was none of mine,
and felt afhamed he fhoulde fuppofe
me
of Mary Powell.
me wifer than I was, efpeciallie as
he commended my Modefty. But
we progrefled well, and he foon had
the Difcourfe all to himfelf, for
Squire Pake came up, and detained
Father^ while the Do6lor and I
walked on. I could not help re-
Hefting how odd it was, that I,
whom Nature had endowed with
fuch a very ordinarie Capacitie, and
fcarce anie Tafhe for Letters, fhoulde
continuallie be thrown into the
Companie of the clevereft of Men, —
firft, Mr. Milto7i ; then Mr. Agnew ;
and now, this Do6lor yerciny Taylor.
But, like the other two, he is not
merely clever, he is Chriftian and
good. How much I learnt in this
fhort Interview ! for fliort it feemed,
though it mull have extended over a
good half Hour. He fayd, " Per-
" haps, young Lady, the Time may
" come when you fhall find fafer
" Solace
199
1644.
200
1644-
Maiden & Married Life
ii
a
a
u
u
ii
ii
ii
ii
((
ii
ii
ii
ii
ii
ii
ii
ii
ii
Solace in the Exercife of the
Charities than of the Affe6lions.
Safer : for, not to conlider how a
fuccefsfulle or unfuccefsfulle Paf-
fion for a human Being of Hke In-
firmities with ourfelves, oft ftains
and darkens and Ihortens the Cur-
rent of Life, even the chaflened
Love of a Mother for her Child,
as of 0S2avia, who fwooned at ' Tu,
Marcclliis^ eris^ — or of Wives for
their Hulbands, as Artemijia and
Laodamia^ fometimes amounting
to Idolatry — nay, the Love of
Friend for Friend, with alle
its fweet Influences and ani-
mating Tranfports, yet exceed-
ing the Reafonablenefs of that of
David for yonathan, or of our
blefled Lord for St. John and the
Family of Lazarus, may procure
far more Torment than Profit :
even if the Attachment be reci-
" procal.
of Mary Powell.
20I
u
a
a
a
u
<;
(^
((
a
a.
(.(.
a
a
a
a
a
iC
a
a
u
procal, and well grounded, and
equallie matcht, which often it
is not. Then interpofe human
Tempers, and Chills, and Heates,
and Slyghtes fancied or intended,
which makes the vext Soul readie
to wifh it had never exifted. How
fmalle a Thing is a human Heart !
you might grafp it in 3^our little
Hand ; and yet its Strifes and
Agonies are enough to diftend a
Skin that fliould cover the whole
World ! But, in the Charities,
what Peace ! yea, they diftill Sweet-
neffe even from the Unthankfulle,
blelling him that gives more than
him that receives ; while, in the
Main, they arc laid out at better
Intereft than our warmeft Affec-
tions, and bring in a far richer
Harveft of Love and Gratitude.
Yet, let our Affe6tions have their
fitting Exercife too, flaying our-
" felves
1644.
202
1644-
Aug. lo.
Maide7i & Married Life
" felves with the Refle6lion, that
" there is greater Happineffe, after
" alle Things fayd, in loving than
" in being loved, fave by the God of
•' Love who firft loved us, and that
" they who dwell in Love dwell in
" Himr
Then he went on to fpeak of
the manifold A6ls and Divifions of
Charity ; as much, methought, in
the Vein of a Poet as a Preacher ;
and he minded me much of that
Scene in the tenth Book of the
Fairie ^uecne, foe lately read to us
by Mr. Agncw, wherein the Red
Crofs Knight and Una were fhown
Mercy at her Work.
A Pack-horfe from Sheep/cote juft
reported, laden with a goodlie Store
of Books, befides fundrie fmaller
Tokens of Rofe's thoughtfuUe Kind-
nefle. I have now methodicallie
divided
of ]Mary Powell.
divided mv Time into flated Hours,
of Prayer, Exercife, Studdy, Houfe-
wiferie, and A6ls of Mercy, on
however a humble Scale ; and find
mine owne Peace of Mind thereby
increafed notwithftanding the Dark-
neffe of public and Dullnefle of
private Affairs.
Made out the Meaning of " Cyno-
" fure " and " Cimmerian Dark-
"neffe." ....
Full fad am I to learn that Mr.
Milton hath publifhed another Book
in Advocacy of Divorce. Alas,
why will he chafe againft the Chain,
and widen the cruel Divifion between
us ? My Father is outrageous on
the Matter, and fpcaks foe paffion-
atelie of him, that it is worfe than
not fpeaking of him at alle, which
latelie I was avifed to complain
of.
Dick
203
1644.
Aug. 15.
204
i644-
Aug. 30.
Maiden & Married Life
Dick beginneth to fancie himfelf
in Love with Audrey Paice — an
Attachment that will doe him noe
Good : his Taftes alreadie want
railing, and fhe will onlie lower
them, I feare, — a comely, romping,
noilie Girl, that, were fhe but a
Farmer's Daughter, woulde be the
Life and Soul of alle the Whitfun-
ales, Harveft-Homes, and Hay-
makings in the Country : in fhort,
as fond of idling and merrymaking
as I once was myfelf : onlie I never
was foe riotous.
I beginne to fee Faults in Dick
and Harry I never faw before. Is
my Tafte bettering, or my Temper
worfcnning ? At alle Events, we
have noe crofs Words, for I expert
them not to alter, knowing how
hard it is to doe foe by myfelf.
I look forward with Pleafure to
my Sheep/cote Vilitt. Dear Mother
returneth
of Mary Powell.
returneth to-morrow. Good Dr.
Taylor hath twice taken the Trouble
to walk over from Oxford to fee
me, but he hath now left, and we
may never meet agayn. His Vifitts
have beene ver}- precious to me : I
think he hath fome Glimmering of
my fad Cafe : indeed, who knows
it not ? At parting he fayd, fmiling,
he hoped he fliould yet hear of
my making Offerings to Viriplaca
on Mount Palati7ie ; then added,
gravelie, " You know where reall
' Offerings may be made and alwaies
' accepted — Offerings of fpare Half-
' hours and Five-minutes, when
' we fhut the Clofet Door and
' commune with our own Hearts
' and are ftill." Alfoe he fayd,
' There are Sacrifices to make
' which fometimes wring our very
' Hearts to offer ; but our gracious
' God accepts them nevertheleffe,
"if
205
1644.
2o6
1644.
Sept. 8.
Maiden & Married Life
" if our Feet be really in the right
"■ Path, even though, like C/iry/eis,
" we look back, weeping."
He la3'd .... But how manie
Things as beautifulle and true did
I hear my Hufband fay, which
paffed by me like the idle Wind that
I regarded not !
Harry hath juft broughte in the
News of his Majefty's Succefs in the
Weft. Lord EJjfex's Army hath
beene completely furrounded by the
royal Troops \ himfelf for6t to efcape
in a Boat to Plymouth, and all the
Arms, Artillerie, Baggage, &c., of
Skippoit's Men have fallen into the
Hands of the King. Father is foe
pleafed that he hath mounted the
Flag, and given double Allowance
of Ale to his Men.
I wearie to hear from Robin.
Sheep/cote,
of Mary Powell.
Shecpfcote^ OH:. lo.
How fweete a Picture of riirall
Life did Sheep/cote prefent, when
I arrived here this Afternoon !
The Water being now much out,
the Face of the Countrie pre-
fented a new Afpe6t : there were
Men threfhing the Walnut Trees,
Children and Women putting the
Nuts into Oficr Balkets, a Bailift'
on a white Horfe overlooking them,
and now and then galloping to
another Part}^ and fplafliing through
the Water. Then w^e found Mr.
Agfiew equallie bufie with his Apples,
mounted half Way up one of the
Trees, and throwing Cherry Pippins
down into Ro/c's Apron, and now
and then making as though he
would pelt her : onlie fhe dared
him, and woulde not be frightened.
Pier Donkey, chewing Apples in
the
207
1644.
Oct. 10.
2o8 Maiden & Married Life
1644. the Corner, with the Cider running
out of his Mouth, prefented a ludi-
crous Image of Enjoyment, and
'twas evidently enhan6t by Giles'
brufhing his rough Coat with a
Birch Befom, inftead of minding
his owne BufineiTe of fweeping the
Walk. The Sun, fhining with
mellow Light on the mown Grafs
and frefli dipt Hornbeam Hedges,
made even the commoneft Obje6ts
diftin6l and cheerfulle ; and the Air
was foe cleare, we coulde hear the
Village Children afar off at theire
Play.
Rofe had abundance of delicious
new Honey in the Comb, and Bread
hot from the Oven, for our earlie
Supper. Dick was tempted to ftay
too late ; however, he is oft as
late, now, returning from Audrey
Paice, though my Mother likes it
not.
Ro/e
of Mary Powell.
Rofe is quite in good Spiritts now,
and we s^oe on moft harmoniouilie
and happilie. Alle our Taftes are
now in common ; and I never more
enjoyed this Union of Seclulion
and Society. Beiides, Mr. Agnew
is more than commonlie kind, and
never fpeaks fternlie or fharplie to
me now. Indeed, this Morning,
looking thoughtfullie at me, he fayd,
" I know not, Coiifin^ what Change
" has come over you, but you are
" now alle that a wife Man coulde
" love and approve." I fayd. It
jnuft be owing then to Dr. Jeremy
Taylor^ who had done me more
goode, it woulde feeme, in three
LelTons, than he or Mr. Miltoji
coulde imparte in thirt}' or three
hundred. He fayd he was inclined
to attribute it to a higher Source
than that ; and yet, there was doubt-
lefle a great Knack in teaching, and
p there
209
1644.
Oct. 15.
2IO
i644-
Alaiden & Married Life
there was a good deal in liking the
Teacher. He had alwaies hearde
the Do6tor fpoken of as a good,
pious, and clever Man, though
rather too high a Prelatilt. I fayd,
" There were good Men of alle
" Sorts : there was Mr. Milton, who
" woulde pull the Church down ;
" there was Mr. Agnew, who woulde
" onlie have it mended ; and there
" was Dr. Jeremy Taylor, who was
" content with it as it floode."
Then Rofe alkt me of the puritanicall
Preachers. Then I fhowed her
how they preached, and made her
laugh. But Mr. Agnew woulde not
laugh. But I made him laugh at
lafl. Then he was angrie with
himfelf and with me ; only not
very angry ; and fayd I had a
Riofht to a Name which he knew
had beene given me, of " cleaving
" Mifchief " I knew not he knew
of
of Mary Powell.
211
of it, and was checked, though I
laught it off.
1644.
Walking together, this Morning,
Rofe was avifed to fay, " Did Mr.
' Milton ever tell you the Adventure
' of the Italian Lady ? " " Rely on
' it he never did," fayd Mr. Agnew.
—" Milton is as modeft a INIan as
' ever breathed — alle Men of firft
' clafs Genius are foe." " What
' was the Adventure ? " I alkt, curi-
ouflie. " Why, I neede not tell
' you, Moll, that JoJm Milton, as a
' Youth, was extremelie handfome,
' even beautifull. His Colour came
' and went foe like a Girl's, that
' we of Chrijl'^s College ufed to call
' him ' the Lady,' and thereby annoy
' him noe little. One fummer
' Afternoone he and I and young
' King {Lycidas, you know) had
' ftarted on a country Walk, (the
" Countrie
Oct. 16.
212 Maiden & Married Life
1644. " Countrie is not prett}^, round
" Cambridge^ when we fell in with
" an Acquaintance whom Mr. Milton
" affe6led not, foe he fayd he would
" walk on to the firft rifing Ground
" and wait us there. On this
" riling Ground flood a Tree, be-
" neath which our impatient young
" Gentleman prefentlie caft him-
" felf, and, having walked faft, and
" the Weather being warm, foon
falls afleep as found as a Top.
Meantime, King and I quit our
" Friend and faunter forward pretty
" eafilie. Anon comes up with us
" a Caroche, with fomething I know
" not w^hat of outlandifh in its Build ;
" and within it, two Ladies, one of
" them having the Fayreft Face I
" ever fet Eyes on, prefent Com-
" panic duly excepted. The Ca-
roche having paffed us. King and I
mutuallie exprefs our Admiration,
"and
u
u
a
u
of Mary Powell.
and thereupon, preferring Turf
to Duft, got on the other Side
the Hedge, which was not foe
thick but that we could make out
the Caroche, and fee the Ladies
defcend from it, to w^alk up the
Hill. Having reached the Tree,
they paufed in Surprife at feeing
Milto7i afleep beneath it ; and in
prettie dumb Shew, which we
watcht fharplie, expreft their Ad-
miration of his Appearance and
Pofture, which woulde have fuited
an Arcadian well enough. The
younger Lady, haftilie taking
out a Pencil and Paper, wrote
fomething which fhe laughinglie
fhewed her Companion, and then
put into the Sleeper's Hand.
Thereupon, they got into their
Caroche, and drove off. King
and I, dying with Curiofitie to
know what fhe had writ, foon
" roufed
213
1644.
214
1644-
Maiden & Married Life
" roufed our Friend and poffeft
" ourfelves of the Secret. The
" Verfes ran thus. . . .
Occki, Stelle mortali,
Minijire de miei Mali,
Se, clmiji^ nt' uccidete,
Aperti, chef arete?
u
Milton coloured, crumpled them
up, and yet put them in his
" Pocket ; then alkt us what the
" Lady was like. And herein lay
"the Pleafantry of the Affair; for
" I truly told him fhe had a Pear-
" fhaped Face, lufhrous black Eyes,
" and a Skin that fhewed ' il bruno
'^ il del non toglie ;'' whereas, King,
" in his Mifchief, drew a fancy
" Portrait, much liker you, Moll,
" than the Incognita, which hit
" Milton s Tafte foe much better,
" that he was believed for his Payns ;
" and then he declared that I had
" beene
of Mary Powell.
215
" beene defcribing the Duenna ! . . .
" Some Time after, when Milton
'' beganne to talk of vifiting Italy ^
" we bantered him, and faj'd he was
" going to look for the Incognita.
" He ftoode it well, and fayd, ' Laugh
" on ! do you think I mind you ?
" Not a Bit.' I think he did."
Juft at this Turn, Mr. Ag7iezu
ftumbled at fomething in the long
Grafs. It proved to be an old,
ruftie Horfe-piftol. His Counte-
nance changed at once from gay to
pfrave. " I thouo'ht we had noe
" fuch Things hereabouts 3'et," cried
he, viewing it afkance. — " I fuppofe
1644.
" I mighte as well think I had found
" a Corner of the Land where there
" was noe originall Sin." And foe,
flung it over the Hedge.
Firfl clafs Geniufes are
alwaies modcft, are they ? — Then
I fhould fay that young Italian
Lady's
2i6 Maiden & Married Life
1644. Lady's Genius was not of the firft
Clafs.
Oct. 19. Speaking, to-day, of Mr. Waller ,
whom I had once feen at Uncle
folui's, Mr. Agnew fayd he had
obtayned the Reputation of being
one of our fmootheft Verfers, and
thereupon brought forth one or two
of his fmall Pieces in Manufcript,
which he read to Rofe and me.
They were addreft to the Lady
Dorothy Sydney; and certainHe for
fpecious Flatterie I doe not fuppofe
they can be matcht ; but there is
noe Imprefs of reall Feeling in them.
How diverfe from my Hufband's
Verfing ! He never writ any mere
Love-verfes, indeede, foe far as I
know ; but how much truer a Sence
he hath of what is reallie beauti-
fulle and becoming in a Woman
than Mr. Waller I The Lady Alice
Egerton
of Mary Powell.
Egertoii mighte have beene more
juftlie proud of the fine Things
written for her in Comus, than the
Lady Dorothea of anie of the fine
Things written of her by this cour-
tier-Hke Poet. For, to fay that Trees
bend down in homage to a Woman
when fhe walks under them, and
that the healing Waters of Tonbridge
were placed there by Nature to
compenfate for the fatal Pride of
Sacharifa, is foe fullefome and un-
true as noe Woman, not devoured by
Conceite, coulde endure ; whereas,
the Check that Villanie is fenfible
of in the Prefence of Virtue, is moft
nobly, not extravagantlie, exprefi;
by Comus. And though my Hufband
be almoft too lavifh, even in his
fhort Pieces, of claffic Allufion and
Perfonation, yet, like antique Statues
and Bufts well placed in fome flatelie
Pleafaunce, they arc alwaies appro-
priate
217
1644.
n
2i8 Maiden & Married Life
164-1.. priate and gracefulle, which is more
than can be fayd of Mr. Waller'' s
overftrayned Figures and Metaphors.
Oct. 20. News from Home : alle well.
Atcdrcy Paice on a Vifitt there. I
hope Mother hath not put her into
my Chamber, but I know that flie
hath fctt fo manie Trays full of
Spearmint, Peppermint, Camomiles,
and Poppie-hcads in the blue Cham-
ber to dr}', that flie will not care to
move them, nor have the Window
opened left they fhoulde be blown
aboute. I wifli I had turned the
Key on my ebony Cabinett.
Oct. 24. Richard and Aitdrey rode over
here, and fpent a noiiie Afternoone.
Rofc had the Goofe drelTed which I
know Hie meant to have referved for
to-morrow. Clover was in a Heat,
which one would have thoughte he
needed
of Mary Powell.
needed not to have beene, with carry-
ing a Lady ; but Atidrcy is heavie.
She treats Dick like a Boy ; and,
indeede he is not much more ; but
he is quite taken up with her. I
find fhe lies in the blue Chamber,
which fhe fays fmells rarelie of Herbs.
They returned not till late, after fun-
drie Hints from Mr. Ao-new.
Alas, alas, Robbts Silence is too
forrowfullie explained ! He hath
beene fent Home foe ill that he is
like to die. This Report I have
from Diggcry, juft come over to
fetch mc, with whom I ftart, foe
foone as his Horfe is bated. Lord,
have Mercie on Robm.
The Children are alle fent away
to keep the Houfe quiete.
Oh,
At Robin s Bedjide.
woefulle Sisfht ! I had not
known
to
219
1644.
Oct. 27.
Saturday
Night.
220
1644.
Maiden & Married Life
known that pale Face, had I met it
unawares. So thin and wan, — and
he hath fliot up into a tall Stripling
during the laft few Months. Thefe
two Nights of Watching have tried
me forelie, but I would not be
witholden from fitting up with him
yet agayn — what and if this Night
fhould he his laft? how coulde I for-
give myfelf for Deeping on now and
taking my Reft ? The firft Night,
he knew me not ; yet it was bitter-
fweet to hear him chiding at fweet
Moll for not coming. Yefternight
he knew me for a While, kiffed me,
and fell into an heavie Sleepe, with
his Hand locked in mine. We
hoped the Crifis was come ; but
'twas not foe. He raved much of
a Man alle in Red, riding hard after
him. I minded me of thofe Words,
" The Enemy fayd, I will overtake,
" I will purfue," — and, noe one being
by,
of Mary Powell.
by, fave the unconfcious Sufferer, I
kneeled down befide him, and moft
earneftlie prayed for his Deliver-
ance from all fpirituall Adverfaries.
When I lookt up, his Eyes, larger
and darker than ever, were fixt on
me with a ftrange, wiftfulle Stare,
but he fpake not. From that
Moment he was quiete.
The Do6tor thought him rambling
this Morning, though I knew he was
not, when he fpake of an Angel in
a long white Garment watching
over him and kneeling by him in
the Night.
Poor Nell fitteth up with Mother
to-ni"-ht — riofht thankfulle is fhe to
find that fhe can be of anie Ufe: fhe
fays it feems foe ftrange that fhe
ftiould be able to make any Return
for my Kindneffe. I muft fleep to-
night, that I may watch to-morrow.
The
221
1644.
Sunday
Evening.
222
i644-
Monday.
Tuesday.
Maiden & Married Life
The Servants are nigh fpent, and
are bcfides fooHfhlie afrayd of Infec-
tion. I hope Rofe prays for me.
Soe drowfie and duUe arn I, as fcarce
to be able to pray for myfelf.
Rofe and Mr. Agneiv come to abide
with us for fome Days. How thank-
fulle am I ! Tears have relieved me.
Robin worfe to-day. Father quite
fubdued. Mr. Agnew will lit up
to-night, and inlifhs on my fleeping.
Crab howled under m}^ Window
yefternight as he did before my
Wedding. I hope there is Nothing
in it. Harry got up and beat him,
and at lafh put him in the Stable.
After two Nights' Reft, I feel
quite ftrengthened and reftored this
Morning. Deare Rofe read me to
fleep in her low, gentle Voice, and
then lay down by my Side, twice
ftepping
of Mary Powell.
ftepping into Robin's Chamber during
the Night, and bringing me News
that all was well. Relieved in
Mind, I flept heavilie nor woke till
late. Then, returned to the lick
Chamber, and found Ro/e bathing
dear Robhi's Temples with Vinegar,
and changinCT his Pillow — his thin
Hand relied on Mr. Agizew, on
whom he lookt with a compofed,
collected Gaze. Slowlie turned his
Eyes on me, and faintlie fmiled, but
fpake not.
Poor dear Mother is ailing now.
I fate with her and Father fome
Time ; but it was a true Relief when
Ro/e took my Place and let me return
to the lick Room. Ro/e hath alreadie
made feveral little Changes for the
better ; improved the Ventilation of
Robhi's Chamber, and prevented his
I hearing foe manie Noifes. Alfoe,
fhowed me how to make a pleafant
cooling
223
1644.
224
i644-
Same
Evening.
Maiden & Married Life
cooling Drink, which he likes better
than the warm Liquids, and which
fhe affures me he may take with
perfe6l Safetie.
Robin vext, even to Tears, becaufe
the Do6lor forbids the Ufe of his
cooling Drink, though it hath cer-
tainlie abated the Fever. At his
Wifli I ftept down to intercede with
the Do6lor, then clofetted with my
Father, to difcourfe, as I fuppofed,
of Robi7is Symptoms. Infteade of
which, found them earneftlie en-
gaged on the never-ending Topick
of Cavaliers and Roundheads. I
was chafed and cut to the Heart,
yet what can poor Father do ; he is
ufelefs in the Sick-room, he is wearie
of Sufpenfe, and 'tis well if publick
Affairs can divert him for an odd
Half-hour.
The Do6tor would not hear of
Robin
of Mary Powell.
Robin taking the cooling Beverage,
and warned me that his Death
w^oulde be upon my Head if I per-
mitted him to be chilled : foe what
could I doc ? Poor Robin very im-
patient in confequence ; and raving
towards Midnight. Rofe infifted in
taking the laft half of my Watch.
I know not that I w^as ever more
forelie exercifed than during the
firft Half of this Night. Robin^ in
his crazie Fit, would leave his Bed,
and was foe ftrong as nearlie to
mafter Nell and me, and I feared I
muft have called Richard. The
next Minute he fell back as weak
as a Child : we covered him up
warm, and he was overtaken either
with Stupor or Sleep. Earneftlie
did I pray it might be the latter,
and conduce to his healing. After-
wards, there being writing Imple-
ments at Hand, I wrote a Letter
Q . to
225
1644.
226
i644-
Wednesday.
jMaiden & Married Life
to Mr. Milton^ which, though the
Fancy of lending it foon died_ awa}^,
yet eafed my Mind. When not in
Prayer, I often find myfelf lilently
talking to him.
Waking late after my fcant Night's
Reft, I found mv Breakfafte neatlie
layd out in the little Antechamber,
to prevent the Fatigue of going
down Stairs. A Handfulle of Au-
tumn Flowers befide my Plate, left
me in noe Doubt it was Rofe's
doing ; and Mr. Agnew writing at
the Window, told me he had per-
fuaded my Father to goe to Shotover
with Dick. Then laying afide his
Pen, ftcpt into the Sick-chamber
for the lateft News, which was
good : and, fitting next me, talked
of the Progrefs of Robin^s Illneffe in
a grave yet hopefulle Manner ;
leading, as he chieflie does, to high
and
of Mary Powell.
227
and unearthlie Sources of Confola-
tion. He advifed me to take a Turn
in the frefh Ayr, though but as far
as the two Junipers, before I entered
Robins Chamber, which, fomewhat
relu6lantlie, I did ; but the bright
Daylight and warm Sun had no
good EtTe6l on my Spiritts : on the
Contrarie, nothing in blythe Nature
feeming in unifon with my SadneiTe,
Tears flowed without relieving me.
What a folemne, pompous
Prigge is this Doctor ! He cries
" humph ! " and " aye ! " and bites
his Nails and fcrews his Lips
together, but I don't believe he
underftands foe much of Phyfick,
after alle, as Mr. Agnew.
Fathei^ came home fulle of the
Rebels' Doings, but as for me, I
fhouldc hear them thundering at our
Gate with Apathie, except infofar
as I feared their diftrcffing Robin.
Aiidrey
1644.
228
Maiden & Married Life
1644. Audrey rode over with her Father,
this Morn, to make Enquiries. She
miaht have come fooner had Ihe
meant to be anie ' reall Ufe to a
Family flie has thought of entering.
Had Ro/e come to our Help as late
in the Day, we had been poorlie
off.
Thursday. May Heaveu in its Mercy fave us
from the evil Confequence of this
new Mifchance ! — Richard^ jealous
at being allowed fo little Share in
nurfmg Robin, whom he fayd he
loved as well as anie did, would fit
up with him laft Night, along with
Mother. Twice I heard him fnoring,
and ftept in to prevail on him to
change Places, but coulde not get
him to ftir. A third Time he fell
afleep, and, it feems. Mother flept
too ; and Robin, in his Fever, got
out of Bed and drank near a Quart
of
of jNIary Powell.
229
of cokle Water, waking Dick by
fettino^ down the Pitcher. Of courfe
the Buftle foon reached my liftening
Ears. Dick, to do him Juftice, was
frightened enough, and Hole away
to his Bed without a Word of De-
fence ; but poor Mother, who had
been equallie off her Watch, made
more Noife about it than was good
for Robin ; who, nevertheleffe, we
having warmlie covered up, burft
into a profufc Heat, and fell into a
found Sleep, which hath now holdcn
him manie Hours. Mr. Acnczu au-
gureth favourablie of his waking,
but we await it in prayerfuUe
Anxietie.
The Crilis is paft ! and the
Doftor fayeth he alle along expe6ted
it laft Night, which I cannot believe,
but Father and Mother doe. At alle
Events, praifed be Heaven, there is
now hope that deare Robin may
recover.
1644.
230
i644-
Saturday.
Maiden & Mai^ried Life
recover. Rofe and I have mingled
Tears, Smiles, and Thankfgivings ;
Mr. Ag7iew hath expreffed Gratitude
after a more colle6led Manner, and
endeavoured to check the fome-
what ill-governed Expreffion of Joy
throughout the Houfe ; warning
the Servants, but efpeciallie Dick
and Harry, that Robin may yet have
a Relapfe.
With what Tranfport have I fat
befide dear Rodin^s Bed, returning
his fixed, earneft, thankfulle Gaze,
and anfwering the feeble Preffure of
his Hand ! — Going into the Studdy
juft now, I found Rather crying like
a Child — the firft Time I have
known him give Way to Tears
during Robin s Ilneffe. Mr. Agnew
prefentlie came in, and compofed
him better than I coulde.
Robin better, though ftill very
weak.
of Mary Powell.
weak. Had his Bed made, and
took a few Spoonfuls of Broth.
A very different Sabbath from the
Lift. Though Robin^s Conftitution
hath received a Shock it may never
recover, his comparative Amend-
ment fills us with Thankfulneffe ;
and our chaftened Sufpenfe hath a
fweet Solemnitie and Truftfulleneffe
in it, which pals Underftanding.
Mr. Agiiezu condu6ted our Devo-
tions. This Morning, I found him
praying with Robin — I queftion if it
were for the firft Time. Robin look-
ing on him with Eyes of fuch fedate
Affe6tion !
Robin ftill progreffing. Dear Rofe
and Mr. Agncw leave us to-morrow,
but they will foon come agayn.
Oh faithful Friends !
231
1644.
Sunday.
Thursday.
Can
232 Maiden & Married Life
1646. Can Aniething equall the def-
Aprii. perate Ingratitude of the human
Heart ? Teftifie of It, Journall,
agaynfl me. Here did I, throughout
the inceffant Cares and Anxieties of
Robins Sickneffe, find, or make
Time, for ahnofte daihe Record of
my Trouble ; fince which, whole
Months have pafTed without foe
much as a fcrawled Ejaculation of
Thankfulleneffe that the Sick hath
beene made whole.
Yet, not that that thankfulleneffe
hath beene unfelt, nor, though un-
written, unexpreft. Nay, O Lord,
deeplie, deeplie have I thanked thee
for thy tender Mercies. And he
healed foe flowlie, that Sufpenfe,
as 'twere, wore itfelf out, and gave
Place to a dull, mournful Perfuafion
that an .Hydropfia would wafte him
away, though more flowlie, yet noe
lefs furelie than the Fever.
Soe
of Mary Powell.
Weeks
lengthened
into
Soe
Months, I mighte well fay Years,
they feemed foe long ! and ftille he
feemed to neede more Care and
Tenderneffe ; till, juft as he and I
had learnt to fay, "Thy Will, O
" Lord, be done," he began to gain
Flefli, his craving Appetite mode-
rated, yet his Food nourifhed him,
and by God's blcffing he recovered!
During that heavie Seafon of Pro-
bation, our Hearts were unlocked,
and we fpake oft to one another of
Things in Heaven and Things in
Earth. Afterwards, our mutuall
Referves returned, and Rodin, me-
thinks, became fhyer than before,
but there can never ceafe to be a
dearer Bond between us. Now
we are apart, I aim to keep him
mindfulle of the high and holie
Refolutions he formed in his Sick-
neffe ; and though he never anfwers
thefe
233
1646.
234 JMaidcii & Married Life
1646. thefe Portions of my Letters, I am
avifed to think he finds them not
difpleafing.
Now that Oxfo7'd is Hke to be
befieged, my Life is more confined
than ever ; yet I cannot, and will
not leave Father and Mother^ even
for the Agnews^ while they are foe
much harraffed. This Morning,
my Father hath received a Letter
from Sir Thomas Glemham^ requiring
a larger Qiiantitie of winnowed
Wheat, than, with alle his Loyaltie,
he likes to fend.
April 23. Ralph Hewlett hath juft looked
in to fay, his Father and Mother
have in Safetie reached London^
where he will fliortlie joyn them,
and to afk, is there anie Service he
can doe me ? A}-, truly ; one that
I dare not name — he can bring me
Word of Mr. Milton, of his Health,
of
of Mary Powell.
of his Looks, of his Speech, and
whether
Ralph fhall be noe Meflenger of
mine.
Talking of Money Matters this
Morning, Mother fayd Something
that brought Tears into mine Eyes.
She obferved that though my Huf-
band had never beene a Favourite of
hers, there was one Thing wherein
fhe muft fay he had behaved gene-
roufly : he had never, to this Da}^,
afkt Father for the 500/. which had
brought him, in the firfh Inftance,
to For-ejl Hill, (he having promifed
old ]\Ir. Milton to try to get the
Debt paid,) and the which, on his
afking for my Hand, Father tolde
him flioulde be made over fooner or
later, in lieu of Dower,
Did Rofe know the Bitter-fweet
fhe was imparting to me, when flie
gave
235
1646.
April 24.
236
1646.
Maiden & Married Life
gave me, by Stealth as 'twere, the
latelie publlfht Volume of my Huf-
band's Englijli Verfing ? It hath
beene my Companion ever lince ;
for I had perufed the Comus but by
Snatches, under the Difadvantage
of crabbed Manufcript. This Mor-
ning, to ufe his owne deare Words: —
I fat tne down to watch, tcpon a Baizk,
Wit/i Ivy canopied, and interwove
With flaiuiting Honeyfuckle, and be-
ganne,
Wrapt in apiea/ing Fit of Melancholic,
To 7neditate.
The Text of my Meditation was
this, drawne from the fame loved
Source: —
This I hold firm ;
Virtue inay be aj/ayled, but never hurt,
Surprifed by unjtfl Force, but not e7t-
t lira lied ;
Yea.
of Mary Powell.
Yea^ even that which Mi/chief meant
mqfl Harni^
Shall, in the happy Trial, prove inojl
Gloiy.
237
1646.
But who hath fuch Virtue ? have
I ? hath he ? No, we have both
gone aftray, and done amifs, and
wrought finfullie ; but I worft, I
firfl, therefore more neede that I
humble m3'felf, and pray for both.
There is one, more unhappie,
perhaps, than either. The King,
moft misfortunate Gentleman ! who
knoweth not which Way to turn,
nor whom to truft. Lafh Time I
faw him, methought never was there
a Face foe full of Woe.
The King hath efcaped ! He
gave Orders overnight at alle the
Gates, for three Perfons to pafle ;
and, accompanied onlic by Mr. AJIi-
btirnham.
May 6.
238
1646.
Saturday
Even.
Maiden & Married Life
burnham^ and Mr. Htcrd, rode forthe
at Nightfalle, towards London. Sure,
he will not throw himfelfe into the
Hands of Parliament ?
Mother is affrighted beyond Mea-
fure at the near Neighbourhood of
Fairfax's Army, and entreats Father
to leave alle behind, and flee with
us into the City. It may yet be
done ) and we alle fliare her Feares.
Packing up in greate hafhe, after
a confufed Family Council, wherein
fome frefli Accounts of the Rebels'
Advances, broughte in by Diggory,
made my Father the fooner confent
to a ftolen Flight into Oxford, Dig-
goiy being left behind in Charge.
Time of Flight, to-morrow after
Dark, the Puritans being bufie at
theire Sermons. The better the
Day, the better the Deede. — Heaven
make it foe !
^ Oxfoi^d ;
of ]Mary Powell.
239
Oxford ; in moll confined and un-
plealant Lodgings ; but noe Matter ;
manie better and richer than our-
fclvcs fare worfe, and our King hath
not where to lay his Head. 'Tis fayd
he hath turned his Courfe towards
Scotland. There are Souldiers in
this Houfe, whofe Noife diftra6ts
us. Alfoe, a poor Widow Lady,
whofe Huiband hath beene flayn in
thefe Wars. The Children have
taken a feveriih Complaynt, and
require inceffant tending. Theire
Beds are far from cleane, in too little
Space, and ill aired.
1646.
Tuesday.
The Widow Lady goes about
vifiting the Sick, and would faine
have my Companie. The Streets
have difpleafed me, being foe fulle
of Men ; however, in a clofe Hoode
I have accompanied her fundrie
Times. 'Tis a good Soul, and
full
May 20.
240 Maidefi & Married Life
1646. full of pious Works and Alms-
deedes.
May 27th. Diggory hath found his Way to
us, alle difmaied, and bringing Dif-
may with him, for the Rebels have
taken and ranfacked our Houfe, and
turned him forthe. " A Plague on
" thefe Wars ! " . as Father fays.
What are we to doe, or how
live, defpoyled of alle ? Father
hath loft, one Way and another,
fince the Civil War broke out,
three thoufand Pounds, and is now
nearlie beggared. Mother weeps
bitterlie, and Father''s Countenance
hath fallen more than ever I faw
it before. " Nine Children ! " he
exclaimed, juft now ; " and onlie
" one provided for ! " His Eye fell
upon me for a Moment, with lefs
TenderneiTe than ufuall, as though
he wiflied me in Alder/gate Street.
I'm
of Mary Powell.
I'm fure I wifh I were there, —
not becaufe Father is in Misfortune ;
oh, no.
The Parliament requireth our un-
fortunate Kino^ to iffue Orders to
this and alle his other Garrifons,
commanding theire Surrender \
and
Father, finding this is likelie to take
Place forthwith, is bulled in having
himfelf comprifed within the Articles
of Surrender. 'Twill be hard in-
deede, fhoulde this be denied. His
Eftate Ij'ing in the King's Quarters,
how coulde he doe lefs than adhere
to his Majefty's Partie during this
unnatural 1 War ? I am fure Mother
grudged the Royalifts everie Goofe
and Turkey they had from our Yard.
Praifed be Heaven, deare Father
I hath iuft received Sir Thomas Fair-
fax^s Prote6lion, empowering him
R quietlie
241
1646.
June.
June 27th.
242
1646.
Maiden & Married Life
quietlie and without let to goe
forthe " with Servants, Hoiies,
" Arms, Goods, etc." to "• London
" or elfewhere," whitherfoever he
will. And thouofh the Prote6lion
extends but over fix Months, at the
Expiry of which Time, Father muft
take Meafures to embark for fome
Place of Refuge beyond Seas, 3'et
who knows what may turn up in
thofe fix Months ! The King may
enjoy his Owne agayn. Meantime,
we immediatelie leave Oxford.
Forefl Hill.
At Home agayn ; and what a
Home! Everiething to feeke, everie-
thing mifplaced, broken, abufed, or
gone altogether ! The Gate off its
Hinges ; the Stone Balls of the
Pillars overthrowne, the great Bell
flolen, the dipt Junipers grubbed
up, the Sun-diall broken ! Not a
Hen
of Mary Powell.
Hen or Chicken, Duck or Duckling,
left ! Crab half-ftarved, and foe glad
to fee us, that he dragged his Kennel
after him. Daify and Blanch making
fuch piteous Moans at the Paddock
Gate, that I coulde not bear it, but
helped Letfice to milk them. Within
Doors, everie Room fmelling of Beer
and Tobacco ; Cupboards broken
open, etc. On my Chamber Floor,
a greafy fteeple-crowned Hat !
Threw it forthe from the Window
with a Pair of Tongs.
Mother goes about the Houfe
weeping. Father fits in his broken
Arm-chair, the Picture of Difconfo-
latenefs. I fee the Agnews^ true
Friends ! riding hither ; and with
them a Third, who, methinks, is
Ro/e''s brother Ralph.
London. St. Martiri^s le Grand.
Trembling, weeping, hopefulle,
difmaied.
243
1646.
r"
244
1646.
Twelve at
Night.
Maiden & Married Life
difmaied, here I fit in mine Uncle's
hired Houfe, alone in a Crowd,
feared at mine owne Precipitation,
readie to wifh myfelfe back, unable
to refolve, to reflect, to pray ....
Alle is filent ; even in the latelie
bufie Streets. Why art thou caft
down, my Heart? why art thou dif-
quieted within me ? Hope thou
ftille in the Lord, for he is the Joy
and Light of thy Countenance.
Thou haft beene long of learning
him to be fuch. Oh, forget not
thy Leffon novv^ ! Thy beft "Friend
hath fanftioned, nay, counfelled this
Step, and overcome alle Obftacles,
and provided the Means of this
Journey ; ' and to-morrow at Noone,
if Events prove not crofs, I fhall
have Speech of him whom my Soul
loveth. To-night, let me watch,
faft, and pray.
How
of Mary Powell.
How awfulle it is to beholde a
Man weepe! mine owne Tears, when
I think thereon, well forthe
Rofe was a true Friend when fhe
fayd, " Our prompt Affe6lions are oft
" our wife Counfellors." Soe, fhe
fuggefted and advifed alle; wrung
forthe my Father's Confent, and fett
me on my Way, even putting Money
in my Purfe. Well for me, had
fhe beene at my Journey's End as
well as its Beofinninsj.
'Stead of which, here was onlie
mine Aunt \ a flow, timid, uncertayn
Soule, who proved but a broken
Reed to lean upon.
Soe, alle I woulde have done
arighte v^ent croffe, the Letter
never delivered, the Meffage delayed
till he had left Home, foe that me-
thought I flioulde goe crazie.
While the Boy, ftammering in
his lame Excufes, bore iny chafed
Reproaches
245
1646.
Friday; at
Night.
246
1646.
Maiden & Married Life
Reproaches the more humbHe be-
caufe he faw he had done me fome
grievous Hurt, though he knew
not what, a Voice in the adjacent
Chamber in alternation with mine
Uncle's drove the Blood of a fuddain
from mine Heart, and then fent it
back with impetuous Rufh, for I
knew the Accents right well.
Enters mine Aunt, alle flurried,
and hufliing her Voice. " Oh,
" Niece, he whom you wot of is
" here, but knoweth not you are at
" Hand, nor in London. Shall I tell
"him?"
But I gafped, and held her back
by her Skirts ; then, with a fuddain
fecret Prayer, or Cry, or maybe,
Wifli, as 'twere, darted up unto
Heaven for Afllftance, I* took noe
Thought what I fhoulde fpeak when
confronted with him, but opening
the Door between us, he then
fhanding
of Mary Powell.
Handing with his Back towards it,
rufhed forth and to his Feet — there
fank, in a Gulli of Tears; for not
one Word coulde I proffer, nor foe
much as look up.
A quick Hand was laid on my
Head, on my Shoulder — as quicklie
removed and I was aware of
the Door being hurriedlie opened
and fhut, and a Man halting forthe;
but 'twas onlie mine Uncle. Mean-
time, my Hufband, who had at firft
uttered a fuddain Cry or Exclama-
tion, had now left me, funk on the
Ground as I was, and retired a Space,
I know not whither, but methinks
he walked haftilie to and fro. Thus I
remained, agonized in Tears, unable
to recal one Word of the humble
Appeal I had pondered on m}^ Jour-
ney, or to have fpoken it, though I
had known cvcrie Syllabic by Rote;
yet not williing mj-felf, even in that
Sufpenfe,
247
1646.
248 Maiden & Married Life
1646. Sufpenfe, Shame, and Anguifh, elfe-
where than where I was caft, at
mine Iliiibancrs Feet.
Or ever I was aware, he had come
up, and caught me to his Breaft:
then, holding me back foe as to look
me in the Face, fayd, in Accents I
fliall never forget,
" Much I coulde fay to reproach,
" but will not ! Henceforth, let us
" onlie recall this darke Paffage
" of our deeplie finfulle Lives, to
''quicken us to God's Mercy in
'•''■ affording us this Re-union. Let
" it deepen our Penitence, enhance
" our Gratitude."
Then, fuddainlie covering up his
Face with his Hands, he gave two
or three Sobs ; and for fome few
Minutes coulde not refrayn himfelf;
but, when at length he uncovered
his Eyes and looked down on me
with Goodnefs and SweetnelTe, 'twas
like
of Mary Powell.
like the Sun's cleare fhining after
Raine.
Shall I now deftroy the difgrace-
fulle Records of this blotted Book ?
I think not ; for 'twill quicken me
perhaps, as my Hufband fayth, to
" deeper Penitence and fhronger
" Gratitude," fhoulde I henceforthe
be in Danger of fettling on the Lees,
and forgetting the deepe Waters
which had nearlie clofed over mine
Head. At prefent, I am foe joyfulle,
foe lisht of Heart under the Senfe
of Forgiveneffe, that it feemeth as
though Sorrow coulde lay hold of
me noe more ; and yet we are ftill,
as 'twere, difunited for awhile ; for
my Hufband is agayn fhifting Houfe,
and preparing to move his increafed
Efhablifhment into Barbican^ where
he hath taken a goodly Manfion ;
and, until it is ready, I am to abide
here.
249
1646.
250 Maiden & Married Life
1646. here. I might pleafanthe cavill at
this ; but, in Truth, will cavill at
Nothins: now.
I am, by this, full perfuaded that
RalpIPs Tale concerning Mifs Davies
was a falfe Lie ; though, at the Time,
luppofmg it to have fome Colour,
it inflamed m}' Jealoufie noe little.
The crofs Spight of that Youth led,
under his Siller's Management, to
an IlTue his Malice never forccafh ;
and now, though I might come at
the Truth for Inquiry, I will not
foe much as even foil my Mind
with thinking of it agayn ; for
there is that Truth in mine Huf-
band's Eyes, which woulde lilence
the Slanders of a hundred Liars,
Chafed, irritated, he has beene,
foe as to excite the farcaftic Con-
ftru6lions of thofe who wifh him
evill ; but his Soul, and his Heart,
and his Mind require a Flighte
beyond
of Mary Powell.
beyond Ralpli s Witt to compre-
hende ; and I know and feel that
they are mine.
He hath juft led in the two
Phillips's to me, and left us together.
Jack lookt at me afkance, and held
aloof; but deare little Ned threw
his Arms about me and wept, and
I did weep too ; feeing the which,
Jack advanced, gave me his Hand,
and finally his Lips, then lookt as
much as to fay, " Now, Alle's right."
They are grow^n, and arc more
comely than heretofore, which, in
fome Meafure, is owing to theire
Hair beinsr noe longer cut ftrait and
fliort after the Puritanicall Fafhion
I foe hate, but curled like their
Uncle's.
I have writ, not the Particulars,
but the Iffue of my Journey, unto
Rofe^ whofe loving Heart, I know,
yearns for Tidings. Alfoe, more
251
1646.
brieflie
252 Maiden & Married Life
1646. brieflie unto my Mother, who loveth
not Mr. Milto7u
Barbican.
September. In the Night-feaion, we take noe
Reft ; we fearch out our Hearts,
and commune with our Spiritts, and
checque our Souls' Accounts, before
we dare court our Sleep ; but in the
Day of Happineffe we cut fhorte our
Reckonings ; and here am I, a joy-
fulle Wife, too proud and bufie
amid my dailie Cares to have Leifure
for more than a brief Note in my
Diariiinij as A^ed woulde call it.
'Tis a large Iloufe, with more
Rooms than we can fill, even with
the Phillips's and their Scholar-mates,
olde Mr. Mifloji, and my Hufband's
Books to boot. I feel Pleafure in
being houfewifelie ; and reape the
Benefit of alle that I learnt of this
Sorte at Sheep/cole. Mine Hufband's
Eyes
of Mary Powell.
Eyes follow me with Delight \ and
once with a perplexed yet pleafed
Smile, he fayd to me, " Sweet Wife,
" thou art ftrangelie altered ; it
" feems as though I have indeede
"loft 'fweet MolV after alle!"
Yes, I am indeed changed ; more
than he knows or coulde believe.
And he is changed too. With Payn
I perceive a more ftern, fevere Tone
occafionallie ufed by him ; doubtleffe
the Cloke alTumed b}^ his Griefe to
hide the Ruin I had made within.
Yet a more geniall Influence is'faft
melting this away. Agayn, I note
with Payn that he complayns much
of his Eyes. At firft, I obferved
he rubbed them oft, and dared not
mention it, believing that his Tears
on Account of me, fmfulle Soule !
had made them fmart. Soe, perhaps,
they did in the firft Inftance, for it
appears they have beenc ailing ever
fince
253
1646.
254
1646.
Maiden & Married Life
fince the Year I left him; and Over-
ftuddy, which my Prefence mighte
have prevented, hath conduced to
the fame ill Effe6l. Whenever he
now looks at a lighted Candle, he
fees a Sort of Iris alle about it ; and,
this Morning, he difturbed me by
mentioning that a total DarknefTe
obfcured everie Thing on the left
Side of his Eye, and that he even
feared, fometimes, he might event-
uallie lofe the Sioht of both. " In
" which Cafe," he cheerfully fayd,
" ydu, deare Wife, muft become
" my Le6lurer as well as Amanu-
" enfis, and content 3^ourfelf to read
" to me a World of crabbed Books,
" in Tongues that are not nor neede
" ever be yours, feeing that a Woman
" has ever enough of her own !"
Then, more penfivelie, he added,
" I difcipline and tranquillize my
" Mind on this Subje6t, ever re-
" membering,
of Mary Powell.
" membering, when the Appre-
" henlion affli6ls me, that, as Man
" lives not by Bread alone, but b}^
" everie Word that proceeds out of
" the Mouth of God, fo Man like-
" wife lives not by Sight alone, but
" by Faith in the Giver of Sight.
" As long, therefore, as it fhall
" pleafe Him to prolong, however
" imperfe6llie, this precious Gift,
" foe long will I lay up Store
" agaynft the Days of Darkneffe,
" which may be manie ; and when-
" foever it fhall pleafe Flim to
" withdrawe it from me altogether,
" I will cheerfully bid mine Eyes
" keep Holiday, and place my Hand
" truftfullie in His, to be led whi-
" therfoever He will, through the
" Remainder of Life."
A Honeymoon cannot for ever
laft ; nor Senfc of Danger, when
it
255
1646.
256
1646.
Maiden & Married Life
it long hath paft ; — but one Httle
Difference from out manie greater
Differences between my late happie
Fortnighte in St. Martin^ s-le-Grand^
and my prefent dailie Courfe in
Barbican, hath marked the Dif-
tinftion between Lover and Huf-
band. There it was " fweet Moll^^
" my Heart's Life of Life," " my
" deareft cleaving Mifchief;" here
'tis onlie "Wife," " Miftrefs Mil-
" /t??2," or at moft " deare or fvveet
"Wife." This, I know, is mafter-
fulle and feemly.
Onlie, this Morning, chancing to
quote one of his owne Lines,
Thefe T/migs inay Jlartle ivell, but
not ajiounde, —
he fayd, in a Kind of Wonder,
" Why, Moll., whence had you
"that? — Methought you hated
" Verfing, as you ufed to call it.
" When
of Mary Powell.
257
" When learnt you to love it ? " I
hung my Head in my old foolifli
Way, and anfwered, " Since I learnt
"to love the Verfer." "Why, this
"is the beft of Alle!" he haflilie
cried, " Can my fweet Wife be in-
" deede Heart of my Heart and
" Spirit of my Spirit ? I loft, or
" drove away a Child, and have
" found a Woman." Thereafter,
he lefs often wifed me, and I found
I was agayn fweet Moll.
This Afternoon, Chrijlopher Milton
lookt in on us. After fainting me
with the ufuall Mixture of Malice
and Civilitie in his Looks, he fell
into ealie Converfation ; and pre-
fentlie fays to his Brother quietlie
enough, " I faw a curious Penny-
" worth at a Book-fball as I came
" alons: this Mornin«:." " What
" was that ? " fays m}^ Hufband,
brightening up. " It had a long
s "-Name,"
1646.
258 Maiden & Married Life
1646. "Name," fays Chrijlophcr, — "I
" think it was called Tetrachordonr
My HullDancl caft at me a fuddain,
quick Look, but I did not foe much
as change Colour ; and quietlie con-
tinued my Sewing.
" I wonder," fays he, after a Paufe,
' that you did not inveft a fmall
' Portion of your Capitall in the
' Work, as you fay 'twas foe greate
' a Bargain. However, Mr. Kit^
' let me give you one fmall Hint
' with alle the goode Humour
' imaginable ; don't take Advantage
' of our neare and deare Relation
• to make too frequent Opportunities
' of faying to me Anything that
' would certainlie procure for an-
' other Man a Thraihing!"
Then, after a fliort Silence be-
tweene Alle, he fuddainlie burft out
laughing, and cried, " I know 'tis
'■'• on the Stalls ; I've feene it, Kit^
"myfelf!
(9/" Mary Powell.
a
a
myfelf! Oh, had you feene, as
I did, the Blockheads poring over
" the Title, and hammering at it
" while you might have walked to
" Mile End and back ! "
" That's Fame, I fuppofe," fays
Chrijlopher drylie ; and then goes
off to talk of foine new Exercife of
the Prefs-licenfer's Authoritie, which
he feemed to approve, but it kindled
my Hufband in a Minute.
"What Folly! what Nonfenfe ! "
cried he, fmiting the Table ; " thefe
" yacks in Office fometimes devife
" fuch fenfeleffe Things that I really
" am afhamed of being of theire
" Party. Licence, indeed ! their
" Licence ! I fuppofe they will
" fhortlie licenfe the Lengthc of
" MoWs Curls, and regulate the
" Colour of her Hoode, and forbid
'' the Larks to fmg within Sounde of
'"• Bow Bell, and the Bees to hum
U 7
o
259
1646.
26o
1646.
October.
Maiden & Married Life
"o'
Sundays. Methoughte I had
" broken Mabbot^s Teeth two Years
u
agone ; but I muft bring forthe a
"new Edition of my Areopagitica ',
" and ni put your Name down, Kit.,
" for a hundred Copies ! "
Though a rufticall Life hath ever
had my Suffrages, Nothing can be
more pleafant than our regular
Courfe. We rife at five or fooner :
while my Hufband combs his Hair,
he commonly hums or lings fome
Pfalm or Hymn, verfing it, maybe,
as he goes on. Being dreft, Ned
reads him a Chapter in the Hebrew
Bible. With Ned ftille at his Knee,
and me by his .Side, he expounds
and improves the Same \ then, after
a fhorte, heartie Prayer, releafes us
both. Before I have finifhed my
Drefling, I hear him below at his
Organ, with the two Lads, who
fing
of Mary Powell.
ling as well as Chorifters, hymning
Anthems and Gregorian Chants, now
foaring up to the Clouds, as 'twere,
and then dying off as though fome
wide echoing Space lay betweene
us. I ufuallie find Time to tie on
my Hoode and flip away to the
Herb-market for a Bunch of frefh
Radilhes or Creffes, a Sprig of
Parfley, or at the leafte a Pofy, to
lay on his Plate. A good wheaten
Loaf, frefh Butter and Eggs, and a
large Jug of Milk, compofe our
limple Breakfafl ; for he likes not,
as my Father, to fee Boys hacking
a huge Piece of Beef, nor cares for
heavie feeding, himfelf. Onlie, olde
Mr. Milton fometimes takes a Ralher
of toafted Bacon, but commonly, a
Balin of Furmity, which I prepare
more to his Minde than the Ser-
vants can.
After Breakfafl, I well know the
Boys'
261
1646.
262
Maiden & Married Life
1646. Boys' Leffons will laft till Noone.
I therefore goe to m}^ Clofett Duties
after my Forcjl Hill Fafhion ; thence
to Market, buy what I neede, come
Home, look to my Maids, give
forthe needfuUe Stores, then to my
Needle, my Books, or perchance to
my Lute, which I woulde faine play
better. From twelve to one is the
Boys' Hour of Paftime ; and it may
generallie be fayd, my Hufband's
and mine too. He draws afide the
green Curtain, — for we fit moftly
in a large Chamber fliaped like the
Letter T, and thus divided while at
our feparate Duties : my End is the
pleafanteft, has the Sun moft upon
it, and hath a Balcony overlooking
a Garden, At one, we dine ; always
on fimple, plain Difhes, but dreft
with Neatneffe and Care. Olde
Mr. Millon fits at my right Hand
and fays Grace ; and, though grow-
ing
of Mary Powell.
ing a little deaf, enters into alle the
livelie Difcourfe at Table. He loves
me to help him to the tendereft, by
Reafon of his Loffe of Teeth. My
Hufband careth not to fitt over the
Wine ; and hath noe fooner finifhed
the Cheefe and Pippins than he re-
verts to the Viol or Organ, and not
onlie fings himfelf, but v/ill make
me ling too, though he fayth my
Voice is better than my Ear. Never
was there fuch a tunefulle Spiritt.
He alwaies tears himfelf away at
lafte, as with a Kind of Violence,
and returns to his Books at lix o' the
Clock. Meantime, his old Father
dozes, and I few at his Side.
From fix to eight, we are fcldom
without Friends, chance Vifitants,
often fchorlarlike and witty, who tell
us alle the News, and remain to
partake a light Supper. The Boys
enjoy this Seafon as much as I doe,
though
263
1646.
264
1646.
Maiden & Married Life
though with Books before them,
their Hands over their Ears, pre-
tending to con the Morrow's Tafks.
If the Guefls chance to be muficalle,
the Lute and Viol are brousfhte
forthe, to alternate with Roundelay
and Madrigal : the old Man beating
Time with his feeble Fingers, and
now and then joining with his
quavering Voice. (By the Way,
he hath not forgotten to this Hour,
my imputed Crime of lofmg that
Song by Harry Lawes : my Hufband
takes my Part, and fayth it will turn
up fome Day when leafte expe6led,
like fti/iinian's Panders.) Hubert
brings him his Pipe and a Glafs of
Water, and then I crave his Bleffing
and goe to Bed ; firft, praying fer-
ventlie for alle beneathe this deare
Roof, and then for alle at Sheep/cote
and Forejl Hill.
On Sabbaths, belides the publick
Ordinances
of Mary Powell.
Ordinances of Devotion, which I
cannot, with alle my ftriving, bring
myfelf to love like the Services to
which I have beene accullomed, we
have much Reading, Singing, and
Difcourlino: among: ourfelves. The
Maids iing, the Boys ling, Hubert
lings, olde Mr. Milton fmgs ; and
trulie with foe much of it, I woulde
fometimes as lief have them quiete.
The Sheep/cote Sundays fuited me
better. The Sabbath Exercife of
the Boys is to read a Chapter in the
Greek Teftament, heare my Hufband
expounde the fame ; and write out
a Syftem of Divinitie as he dictates
to them, walking to and fro. In
liflening thereto, I find my Pleafure
and Profitt.
I have alfoe my owne little Cate-
chiiing, after a humbler Sorte, in
the Kitchen, and fome poore Folk to
relieve and confole, with my Huf-
band's
265
1646.
266
Maiden & Married Life
1646. band's Concurrence and Encourage-
ment. Thus, the Sabbath is de-
voutlie and happilie paiTed.
My Hufband alfoe takes, once
in a Fortnighte or foe, what he
blytheHe calls " a gaudy Day,"
equallie to his owne Content, the
Boys', and mine. On thefe Occa-
lions, it is my Province to provide
colde Fowls or Pigeon Pie, which
Hztbcrt carries, with what elfe we
neede, to the Spot fele6led for our
Camp Dinner. Sometimes we take
Boat to Riclunond or Greenwich.
Two young Gallants, Mr. Alphrey
and Mr. Miller, love to joyn our
Partie, and toil at the Oar, or
fcramble up the Hills, as merrilie
as the Boys. I muft fay they deal
favagelie with the Pigeon Pie after-
wards. They have as wild Spiritts
as our Dick and Harry, but withal
a moft wonderfull Reverence for my
Hufband,
of Mary Powell.
Hulband, whom they courte to read
and recite, and provoke to plea-
fant Argument, never prolonged to
Wearineffe, and feafoned with Frolic
Jell and Witt. Olde Mr. Milton
joyns not thefe Parties. I leave him
alwaies to Dolly's Care, firfhe provi-
ding for him a Sweetbread or fome
fmalle Relifh, fuch as he loves. He
is in Bed ere we return, which is
oft by Moonlighte.
How foon muft Smiles give Way
to Tears ! Here is a Letter from
deare Mother, taking noe Note of
what I write to her, and for good
Reafon, fhe is foe diftraught at her
owne and deare Father''s ill Condi-
tion. The Rebels (I muft call them
fuch,) have foe ftript and oppreft
them, they cannot make theire
Houfe tenantable ; nor have Aught
to feede on, had they e'en a whole
Roof over theire Heads. The
Neighbour-
267
1646.
268
Maiden & Married Life
1646.
Neighbourhoode is too hot to holde
them ; olde Friends cowardHe and
fufpicious, olde and new Foes in
League together. Leave Oxon they
muft ; but where to goe ? Father^
defpite his broken Health and Hatred
of the Foreigner, muft needes depart
beyond Seas ; at leafte within the
fix Months ; but how, with an
emptie Purfe, make his Way in a
ftrange Land, with a Wife and feven
Children at his Heels ? Soe ends
Mother with a '■'Lord have Mercy
"upon us!" as though her Houfe
were as furelie doomed to Deftruc-
tion as if it helde the Plague.
Mine Eyes were yet fwollen with
Tears, when my Hufband ftept in.
He afkt, "What ails you, precious
"Wife?" I coulde but figh, and
give him the Letter. Having read
the Same, he fays, "But what, my
" deareft ? Have we not ample
" Room
of Mary Powell.
" Room here for them alle ? I fpeak
" as to General Is, you muft care for
" Particulars, and ftow them as you
" will. There are plenty of fmall
" Rooms for the Boys ; but, if your
" Father, being infirm, needes a
" Ground-floor Chamber, you and
" I will mount aloft."
I coulde but look my Thankfulle-
"nefle and kifs his Hand. "Nay,"
'he added, with increafing Gentle-
neflTe, "think not I have feene your
" Cares for my owne Father without
" loving and blefling you. Let Mr.
" Powell come and fee us happie ;
" it may tend to make him foe.
" Let him and his abide with us,
" at the leafl:e, till the Spring : his
" Lads will Studdy and play with
" mine, your Mother will help you
" in your Houfewiferie, the two olde
" Men will chirp together befide
" the C/iri/lniaJ/e Hearth ; and, if I
"find
269
1646.
270 Maiden & Married Life
1646. " find thy Weeklie Bills the heavier,
' 'twill be but to write another
' Book, and make a better Bargain
' for it than I did for the laft.
' We w^ill ufe Hofpitalitie without
' grudging ; and, as for your owne
' Increafe of Cares, I fuppofe 'twill
' be but to order two Legs of Mutton
' infteade of one!"
And foe, with a Laugh, left me,
moft joyfulle, happy Wife ! to drawe*
Sweete out of Sowre, Delighte out
of Sorrowe 5 and to fummon mine
owne Kindred aboute me, and wipe
away theire Tears, bid them eat,
drink, and be merry, and fhew
myfelfe to them, how proud, how
cherifhed a Wife !
Surelie my Mother will learne to
love Jolm Milton at laft! If ftie
doth not, this will be my fecret
Croffe, for 'tis hard to love dearlie
two Perfons who efteeme not one
another.
of Mary Powell.
271
another. But flie will, fhe muft,
not onlie refpe6l him for his Up-
rightneffe and Magnanimitie, cou-
pled with what himfelfe calls " an
" honell Haughtineffe and Self-
" efteeme," but like him for his
kind and equall Temper, {iiot '' harfh
" and crabbed," as I have hearde
her call it,) his eafie Flow of Mirthe,
his Manners, unaffe6ledlie cheer-
fulle ; his Voice, muficall ; his Per-
fon, beautifull ; his Habitt, grace-
full ; his Ilofpitalitie,' naturall to
him ; his Purfe, Countenance, Time,
Trouble, at his Friend's Service ; his
Devotion, humble ; his Forgive-
neffe, heavenlie ! May it pleafe
God that my Mother fhall like John
Milt07i! ....
1646.
FINIS.
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