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MEMOIRS

OF THE

REV. DAVID # BRAINERD ;

MISSIONARY

TO THE INDIANS

OjY THE BORDERS OF JYEW-YORK, NEW-JERSEY, JUSTD

PEMJYSYL VAXJA :

CHIEFLY TAKEN FROM HIS OWN DIARY.

By Rev. JONATHAN EDWARDS, of Northampton.

:3fCLT7DING HIS JODRNAL, NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME INCORPORATED WITH THF
REST OF HIS DIARY, IN A REGULAR CHRONOLOGICAL SERIES.

BY SERENO EDWARDS D WIGHT.

NEW-HAVEN:

PRINTED AND PUBLISHED B'

S. CONVERSE.

J 822.

■».

I685B

DISTRICT OF CONNECTICUT, ss.
BE IT REMEMBERED, That on the twenty-first day of May,
in the forty-sixth year of the Independence of the United States of
| America, Sherman Converse, of the said District, hath deposited
in this office the title of a Book, the right whereof he claims as Pro-
prietor, in the words following, to wit :
" Memoirs of the Rev. David Brainerd ; Missionary to the Indians, on the bor-
« ders of New-York, New-Jersey and Pennsylvania, chiefly taken from his own di-
« ary. By Rev. Jonathan Edwards, of Northampton. Including his Journal, now for
«' the first time incorporated with the rest of his diary, in a regular chronological
" series. By Sercno Edwards Dwight."

In conformity to the Act of the Congress of the United States, entitled " An Act
for the encouragement of learning, by securing the copies of Maps, Charts and
Books, to the authors and proprietors of such copies, during the times therein men-
tioned " CHA'S. A. 1NGERSOLL,

Clerk of the District of Connecticut.
A true copy of Record, examined and sealed by me,

™ CHA'S. A. INGERSOLL,

Clerk of the District of Connecticut,

ADVERTISEMENT BY TP1E EDITOR.

About the year 1740, several distinguished ministers in the city oi
New York and its vicinity; and among them, Rev. Bbenezer Pember-
ton of New York, Rev. Aaron Burr of Newark, and Rev. Jonathan
Dickinson of Elizabethtown; communicated to the " Society in Scot-
land for propagating Christian Knowledge," " the deplorable and
perishing state of the Indians in the provinces of New York, New
Jersey, and Pennsylvania."

In consequence of this representation, the Society charitably and
cheerfully agreed to the proposal of maintaining two missionaries among
them, to convert them to Christianity; and in pursuance of this design
sent those gentlemen, and some others — both clergymen and laymen,
a Commission to act as their Commissioners, or Correspondents, " in
providing, directing, and inspecting the said Mission."

"As soon as the Correspondents received their commission," to use
their own language, " they immediately looked out for two candidates
for the ministry, whose zeal for the interests of the Redeemer's king-
dom, and whose compassion for perishing souls would prompt them to
such an exceedingly difficult and self-denying undertaking. They
first prevailed with Mr. Azariah Horton to relinquish a call to
an encouraging parish, and to devote himself to the Indian service.
He was directed to Long Island in August, 1741, at the east end of which
there are two small towns of Indians; and, from the east to the west
end of the island, lesser companies settled at a few miles distance from
one another, for the distance of more than a hundred miles. At his
first arrival, he was well received by most, and cordially welcomed by
some of them. Those at the east end of the island, especially, gave dili-
gent and serious attention to his instructions; and many of them were
led to ask the solemn enquiry, What they should do to be saved? A
general reformation of manners was soon observable among most of
these Indians. They were careful to attend, and serious and solemn
while attending, upon both public and privatr instructions. A number

4 ADVERTISEMENT.

of them were under very deep convictions of their miserable, perishing
state; and about twenty of them give lasting; evidences of their saving
conversion to God. Mr. HoRTjfljr has haptized thirty-five adults, and
forty-four children. He took pains with them to teach them to read;
and some of them have made considerable proficiency. But the ex-,
tensiveness of his charge, and the necessitMwofrhis travelling from pTtoefc*
to place, renders him incapable of giving ?D constant an attendance to
their instruction in reading, as is necessary. In his last letter to the
Correspondents, he heavily complains of a great defection of some of
them from their first reformation and care of their souls; occasioned
by strong drink being brought among them, and their being thereby
allured to relapse into their darling vice of drunkenness. This is a
vice to which the Indians are every where so greatly addicted, and so
vehemently disposed, that nothing but the power of divine grace can
restrain that impetuous lust, when they have opportunity to gratify it.
He likewise complains, that some of them have grown more careless
and remiss in the duties of religious worship, than they were when
first acquainted with the great things of their eternal peace. But, as
a number retain their first impressions, and as they generally attend
with reverence upon his ministry, he goes on with his work with en-
couraging hopes of the presence and blessing of God with him in this
difficult undertaking."

With the subsequent labours and success of Mr. Horton the Editor
is unacquainted; not having been able to ascertain how long he was em-
ployed as a Missionary; or whether his Diary was ever published.

" It was some time after this, before the Correspondents could obtain
another Missionary. At length they prevailed with Mr. David Brain-
erd to refuse several invitations to places, where he had a promising
prospect of a comfortable settlement, to encounter the fatigues and
perils which must attend his carrying the Gospel of Christ to these poor,
miserable savages."*

David Brainerd, the subject of the ensuing Life, and author of
the Diary incorporated with it, was examined and approved as ^Mis-
sionary, at the city of New York, by the Correspondents of the Soci-
ety in Scotland for propagating Christian Knowledge, Nov. 25, 1742.

* These extracts are from the Preface of the Correspondents to BrainercVs Letter
to Pemberton.

ADVERTISEMENT. 5

The field of Missionary labour, -Originally proposed for him by the
Correspondents, was among the Indians living near the Forks of Dela-
ware in Pennsylvania, and the Indians farther westv.ard on the Susque-
hannah. Owing to some contention subsisting, at the time of his ap-
pHfltfment, between these Indians and the whites, concerning their lands,
the Correspondents concluded to defer his mission among them until
harmony was restored; and having received intelligence from the Rev.
Mr. Sergeant, Missionary to the Indians at Stockbridge, .Massachusetts,
that the existing state of the Indians at Kaunaumeek.,\a. place in the
woods between Stockbridge and Albany, promised success to the la-
bours of a Missionary; they selected that as his first station. His
labours at Kaunaumeek commenced April 1, 1743, and continued one
year; when he prevailed on the Indians at that place to remove to
Stockbridge and attend on the Rev. Mr. Sergeant's ministry.

Brainerd was ordained as a Missionary at Newark, N. J., June 12th
1744; and on the 22d of the same month, entered on his labours at
Sakhauwotung, within the Forks of Delaware.

On the 5th of October, 1744, he visited, for the first time, the In-
dians on the Susquehannah, and commenced his labours at a place
called Opeholhaupung. "* ^|

On the 19th of June, 1745, he began to preach to the Indians at
Crossweeksung, a place about twenty miles west of Amboy in New Jer-
sey, and the scene of his greatest success. It is now called Crosszveeks,
and is on the road from Amboy to Bordentown.

On the 3d of May, 1,746, he removed from that place, with the
whole body of the Indians, to a place called Cranberry, fifteen miles
from Crossweeksung. At these places he continued to reside until
March 20, 1747; when, owing to the ravages of a pulmonary con-
sumption, brought on by his exposures and hardships, his labours as a
Missionary were terminated, and he bade farewell to his beloved Church
and people at Cranberry.

The first communication, made by him to the Correspondents, was
in a letter to the Rev. Mr. Pemberton, of Nov. 5, 1744; giving a suc-
cinct account of his residence at Kaunaumeek, and of the commence-
ment of his labours of Sakhauwotung and Opeholhaupung. After this
he regularly forwarded to them a copy of his Diary. They published
extracts from his Diary, in two parts or numbers, with some variations
in the titles. Qhe First part, rommencing with his residence at Cross-

,. ADVERTISEMENT.

zi-eeksung, June 19th, 1745, and reaching to Nov. 4th, 1745; was
published early in the. following year; and was entitled,
, " Mirabilia Dei inter Indicos;
Or the Rise and Progress of a remarkable Work of Grace,
Among a number of the Indians,
In the Provinces of New Jersey and Pennsylvania; *

Justly represented in a Journal, kept by order of the Honourable
Society in Scotland for propagating Christian Knowledge; with some
General Remarks;

... By David Brainerd,

Minister of .'the Gospel, and Missionary from the said Society:
Published by the Reverend and worthy Correspondents of the said
Society; with a Preface by them."
The Second part, extending from Nov. 24th, 1745, to June 19th
1746, was published in the latter part of that year; and was entitled

" Divine Grace Displayed;
Or the Continuance and Progress of a remarkable Work of Grace
Among some of the Indians
Belonging to the Provinces of New Jersey and Pennsylvania;
Justly represented in a Journal kept by order of the Honourable So-
ciety in Scotland for propagating Christian Knowledge;
with some General Remarks;
To which is subjoined an Appendix, containing some account of sundry
things, and especially of the Difficulties attending the Work of a
Missionary among the Indians;

By David Brainerd,

Minister of the Gospel, and Missionary from the said Society:
Published by the Reverend and worthy Correspondents of of the said

Society."

These two parts have always been?,Called " Brainerd's Journal;"
and were published during his life.

Brainerd died at the house of the Rev. Jonathan Edwards, of
Northampton, Oct. 9th, 1747; leaving all his papers in the hands of
that gentleman, " that he might dispose of them as he thought would be
most for God's glory, and the interest of Religion." Of these, the
most valuable was the Account of bis early life and the original copy of
his Diary. From these materials, Mr. Edwards prepared a Life of
Brainerd, an 8vo volume of 316 pages: which was published at Bos-
ion in 1749, with the following title;

ADVERTISEMENT. ?

"An Account of the Life

Of the late Rev. David Brainerd;

Missionary to the Indians,

From the Hon. Society in Scotland for the propagation of

Christian Knowledge;

And Pastor of a Church of Christian Indians in New Jersey;

Who died at Northampton, October 9th. 7 747,

In the 30th year of his age:

Chiefly taken from his own Diary, and other private waitings, written

for his own use; and now published, .

By Jonathan Edwards, A. M,

Minister of the Gospel at Northampton."

As the Journal had been published but two or three years, and was

already in the possession of the religious public, Mr. Edwards carefully

left out of the Life those extracts from the Diary which were contained

in the Journal. The Diary begins in July 1740, and ends Oct. 2, 1747.

The extracts from it in the Journal extend through one year, from

June 19, 1745, to June 19, 1746. They do not, however, comprise

the whole of the Diary for that year; but, usually, only a part of the

diary for each day. Mr. Edwards, in the Life, supplies the diary for

those days, and parts of days, of that year, which were omitted in the

Journal; and omits it for those days, and parts of days, which the

Journal contained; regularly inserting a dash in his work, thus

wherever an important extract from the Diary was omitted, to apprize
the reader that he would find that omission under the same date in the
Journal. His delicate integrity would not allow him to subject his
subscribers to the necessity of purchasing the same matter a second
time. The consequence is, that the two publications include different
portions of the Diary, during the most interesting year of his life, the
year of his glorious success at Crossweeksung; yet neither contains
the -whole for that year. This fact, could the Life and the Journal be
procured, would render it impossible to read the Diary in a regular
connected series, according to the order of events. But both the
Life and the Journal are now, and for many years have been out of
print.

The Life by Edwards was abridged by John Wesley, and published
in England a few years after it appeared in this country. A still smal-
ler Abridgment has since been made by John Styles; and frequently

8 ADVERTISEMENT.

republished both in England and America. The Abridgment by Wes-
ley, the editor has not seen, . .That by Styles is a cheap 12mo. vol-
ume; made at a time, when the feelings of the British nation had not
been roused to a deep interest in Missions and Missionaries; and when
probably it was supposed, that the complete work would not sell. Beside
omitting a very considerable portion of the Life and Diary, it leaves
out the following Documents, viz: 1, Brainerd's Letter to Pember-
ton, giving an account of his residence at Kaunaumeek. 2. His account
of the Doctrines; preached to the Indians at Crosweeksung, and their
extraordinary effects. . 3. His method of learning the Indian Language.
4. His method of instructing the Indians. 5. His account of the Diffi-
culties which attend the christianizing of the Indians. 6. The Attesta-
tions of the neighbouring Ministers to the Grace of God displayed
among the Indians. Several'of the Remains of Brainerd. 8. Pem-
berton's Sermon at his Ordination. 9. Edwards' Sermon at his Fu-
neral. 10. Two Letters o^John Brainerd, his brother, and succes-
sor as Missionary to the Indians, giving an account of the Indian Con-
verts after his death.

The knowledge of these facts, acquired, not without some degree of
labour and research; and the conviction that the Church, both in Ameri-
ca, and England, is now prepared to welcome a complete Life of Brain-
erd, and that it is calculated to be eminently useful; have lead to the
present Publication.

The state of the public feeling in both countries, is already exten-
sively altered. The friends of Missions are now numerous, and are
rapidly increasing. With their interest in Missions, is associated, of
course, an interest in faithful Missionaries. That the Church at large
feels this interest, the Memoirs of Swartz, Buchanan, Harriet New-
ell, Mills, and Henry Martyn, furnish abundant evidence. But this
interest is not confined to the Missionaries of the present day; it ex-
tends to those of an earlier and a darker period, to Elliott and May-
hew. Those holy men stood the watch-lights of the age in which they
lived. They burned with a flame which could not be extinguished;
for it was kindled from the fires of Heaven. In their histories, they
still shine with equal lustre, and shed the same effulgence on mankind.
" The foundations of many generations," are beginning to be " restor-
ed;" and the American Church will contemplate, with feelings of sa-

ADVERTISEMENT. 9

cred pleasure, the Discovery thus elicited, that her own Elliott was
the. first Protestant Missionary to the Heathen.

Before this alteration, the work of Styles was of essential service to
the christian world; for it preserved the remembrance of Brainerd,
and thus kept alive the spirit of Missions. But the whole Church now
feel the deepest interest in the life of that man whom Henry Martyn
made his model; and who would probably be selected by all denomina-
tions of christians as the holiest missionary, if not the holiest man, of
modern times. His name is now extensively known throughout Chris-
tendom; and the time is near, when it will be more generally known,
over this world, than that of Alexander, Caesar, or Napoleon. The
veneration felt for his memory, by the Church, approaches that, with
which they regard the memory of the early Evangelists and the Apos-
tles; and nothing which is an effusion of his pen, a memorial of his life,
or an illustration of his character, will now be regarded with indiffer-
ence.

The Editor originally intended to have made this publication one of
the volumes of a complete Edition of the works of President Edwards,
which is now preparing for the press. Three considerations have in-
duced him to publish it by itself. 1. The volume is almost wholly the
work of Brainerd. 2. The works of Edwards are very voluminous
without it. 3. The subscribers to Edwards' Works can easily bind it
as the last volume of these works.

It has been his intention to render this volume as a memoir of Brain-
erd, complete. It contains the whole of the Life and Diary including
the Journal, together with all his letters, and other writings (so far as
they are known to the editor) and the concluding Reflections on his
Memoirs, by President Edwards; all arranged in a regular series, ac-
cording to the order of events. In addition to these, it contains two
letters of John Brainerd, and the Sermons of Pemberton and Ed-
wards; both of uncommon excellence.

The Diary of Brainerd, a single point only excepted, is probably
the best manual of christian experience, ever yet published. The ex-
ception arises from the fact, that the native temperament of Brainerd's
mind inclined him to melancholy. This, his biographer, and himself
towards the close of life, regarded as a serious unhappiness, not to say
defect, in his character. If the requisite allowance be made for this
constitutional infirmity, the diary will prove altogether useful to the

10 ADVERTISEMENT.

■ ■. ■ - *

private christian. As an example of a mind tremulously apprehensive

of sin, loathing it in every form, arid for its own sake, avoiding even the

appearance of evil, rising above all terrestrial considerations, advancing

rapidly in holiness, and finding .its only enjoyment in the glory of God;

probably no similar work in any language, can furnish a parallel.

In the Reflections on the Memoirs of Brainerd, as in a clear trans-
parent mirror, the reader if he is not voluntarily blind, will discover
the true character of 'his own .'heart. The narrative of conversions,
during the long Peuteeost season at Croszveeksung, while it cannot fail to
delight and aniniate the real christian, will satisfy every mind open to
conviction, that, the Doctrines there taught were those taught by the
Apostles; and will teach every Minister, that to preach Christ crucified
is the only way to secure the co-operation of the Holy Spirit. The
account given by Brainerd of the Doctrines which he preached to the
Indians, and their visible Effects; of his method of learning their lan-
guage; of his plan of Instruction; and of the Difficulties in the way of
christianizing them, will also be peculiarly useful to the Missionary;
while the Diary at large will furnish him an example of self-denial, of
patience under privations and sufferings, and of glorying in infirmities,
which Paul himself would have respected and loved. On the whole,
the editor is convinced that few works hitherto published, are calcula-
ted to be equally useful to the Church at large, or to the individual
Christian; and, with these views concerning it, he cheerfully com-
mends it to the blessing of Almighty God; without which the Word of
Life, itself, becomes "a savour of death unto death.'1''

SERENO EDWARDS DWIGHT

Boston, February 22, 1822,

SERMON,

PREACHED IN NEWARK,

JUNE 12, 1744,

AT THE ORDINATION OF

MR. DAVID BRAINERD,

A MISSIONARY TO THE INDIANS

ON THE BORDERS OF NEW-YORK, NEW-JERSEY AND PENNSYLVANIA

BY EBENEZER PEMBERTON, A. M.

PASTOR OF THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH
iy THE CITY OF NEW-YORK

AN ORDINATION SERMON, &c.

LUKE XIV. 2S.

And the Lord said unto the servant, Go out into the high-ways
and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be
filled.

GOD erected this visible world as a monument of his glory,
a theatre for the display of his adorable perfections. The heav-
ens proclaim his wisdom and power in shining characters, and
the whole earth is full of his goodness. Man was in his original
creation excellently fitted for the service of God, and for per-
fect happiness in the enjoyment of the divine favour. But sin
has disturbed the order of nature, defaced the beauty of the most
disconsolate circumstances of guilt and misery.

The all-seeing eye of God beheld our deplorable state ; infi-
nite pity touched the heart of the Father of mercies ; and infinite
wisdom laid the plan of our recovery. The Majesty of heaven
did not see meet to suffer the enemy of mankind eternally to
triumph in his success ; nor leave his favourite workmanship irre-
coverably to perish in the ruins of the apostacy. By a method,
which at once astonishes and delights the spirits above, he open-
ed a way for the ditplay of his mercy, without any violation of the
sacred claims of his justice ; in which, the honour of the law is
vindicated, and the guilty offender acquitted ; sin is condemned,
and the sinner eternally saved. To accomplish this blessed de-

I sign, the beloved Son of God assumed the nature of man ; in our
nature died a spotless sacrifice for sin ; by the atoning virtue of
his blood "he made reconciliation for iniquity," and by his per-

I feet obedience to the law of God, " brought in everlasting right-

j eousness."

Having finished his work upon earth, before he ascended to

I his heavenly Father, he commissioned the ministers of his king-

1 dom to " preach the gospel to every creature." He sent them
forth to make the most extensive offers of salvation to rebellious
sinners, and by all the methods of holy violence to " compel
them to come in," and accept the invitations of his grace. We
have a lively representation of this in the parable, in which our

j text is contained.

H PEMBERTON'S SERMON

The evident design of it is, under the figure of a marriage sup-
per, to set forth the plentiful provision, which is made in our Lord
Jesus Christ for the reception of his people, and the freedom and
riches of divine grace, which invites the most unworthy and mis-
erable sinners, to partake of this sacred entertainment. The first
invited guests were the Jews, the favourite people of God, who
were heirs of divine love, while the rest of the world were " aliens
from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the cove-
nants of promise:" but these, through the power of prevailing
prejudice, and the influence of carnal affections, obstinately re-
jected the invitation, and were therefore finally excluded from
these invaluable blessings.

But it was not the design of infinite wisdom, that these costly
preparations should be lost, and the table he had spread remain
unfurnished with guests. Therefore he sent forth his servant
" into the streets and lanes of the city," and commanded him to
bring in " the poor, the maimed, the halt, and the blind," — i. e.
the most necessitous and miserable of mankind ; — yea, to " go out
into the high-ways and hedges," to the wretched and perishing
Gentiles, and not only invite, but even "compel them to come in,
that his house might be filled."

The words of the text represent to us,
I. The melancholy stale of the Gentile world. They are de-
scribed as " in the high-ways and hedges," in thf most
perishing and helpless condition.

II. The compassionate care, which the blessed Redeemer takes
of them in these their deplorable circumstances. He
11 sends out his servants" to them, to invite them to par-
take of the entertainments of his house.

III. The duty of the ministers of the gospel, to "compel them to
come in," and accept of his gracious invitation. These
I shall consider in their order, and then apply them to
the present occasion.

I. I am to consider the melancholy state of the Heathen world
while in the darkness of nature, and destitute of divine revelation.
It is easy to harangue upon the excellency and advantage of the
light of nature. It is agreeable to the pride of mankind to exalt
the powers of human reason, and pronounce it a sufficient guide
to eternal happiness. But let us inquire into the records of an-
tiquity, let us consult the experience of all ages, and we shall find,
that those who had no guide but the light of nature, no instructor
but unassisted reason, have wandered in perpetual uncertainty,
darkness, and error. Or let us take a view of the present state of

AT BRAINERD'S ORDINATION". 15

those countries that have not been illuminated by the gospel ; and
we shall see, that notwithstanding the improvements of near six
thousand years, they remain to this day covered with the gross-
est darkness, and abandoned to the most immoral and vicious
practices.

The beauty and good order every where discovered in the visi-
ble frame of nature, evidences, beyond all reasonable dispute, the
existence of an infinite and Almighty Cause, who first gave being to
the universe, and still preserves it by his powerful providence.
Says the apostle to the Gentiles, (Rom. i. 20.) " The invisible
things of God, from the creation of the world, are clearly seen, be-
ing understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power
and Godhead." And yet many, even among the philosophers of
the Gentile nations, impiously denied the eternal Deity, from
whose hands they received their existence ; and blasphemed his
infinite perfections, when surrounded with the clearest demon-
strations of his power and goodness. Those who acknowledged
a Deity, entertained the most unworthy conceptions of his nature
and attributes, and worshipped the creature, in the place of the
Creator, " who is God blessed for ever." Not only the illustrious
heroes of antiquity, and the public benefactors of mankind, but
even the most despicable beings in the order of nature, were en-
rolled in the catalogue of their gods, and became the object of
their impious adoration. " They changed the glory of the incor-
ruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, to birds
and four-footed beasts, and creeping things." Rom. i. 23.

A few of the sublimest geniuses of Rome and Athens, had some
faint discoveries of the spiritual nature of the soul, and formed
some probable conjectures, that man was designed for a future
state of existence. When they considered the extensive capaci-
ties of the human mind, and the deep impressions of futurity en-
graven in every breast, they could not but infer, that the soul was
immortal, and at death would be translated to some new and un-
known state. When they saw the virtuous oppressed with vari-
ous and successive calamities, and the vilest of men triumphing in
prosperity and pleasure, they entertained distant hopes, that, in a
future revolution, these seeming inequalities would be rectified,
these inconsistencies removed ; the righteous distinguishingly re-
warded, and the wicked remarkably punished. But after all their
inquiries upon this important subject, they attained no higher
than some probable conjectures, some uncertain expectations.
And when they came to describe the nature and situation of these
invisible regions of happiness or misery, they made the wildest
guesses, and run into the most absurd and vain imaginations. The
heaven they contrived for the entertainment of the virtuous, vva?

16 PEMBERTON'S SERMON

made up of sensual pleasures, beneath the dignity of human na-
ture, and inconsistent with perfect felicity. The hell they de-
scribed for the punishment of the vicious, consisted in ridiculous
terrors, unworthy the belief of a rational and religious creature.

Their practices were equally corrupt with their principles. As
the most extravagant errors were received among the established
articles of their faith, so the most infamous vices obtained in
their practice, and were indulged not only with impunity, but au-
thorised by the sanction of their laws. They stupidly erected al-
tars to idols of wood and stone \ paid divine honours to those who
in their lives had been the greatest monsters of lust and cruelty ;
yea, offered up their sons' and daughters as sacrifices to devils.
The principles of honour, the restraints of shame, the precepts of
their philosophers, were all too weak, to keep their corruptions
within any tolerable bounds. The wickedness of their hearts
broke through every inclosure, and deluged the earth with rapine
and violence, blood and slaughter, and all manner of brutish and
detestable impurities. It is hardly possible to read the melan-
choly description of the principles and manners of the Heathen
world, given us by St. Paul, without horror and surprise ; to
think that man, once the " friend of God" and " the lord of this
lower world." should thus " deny the God that made him," and
bow down to dumb idols, should thus, by lust and intemperance,
degrade himself into the character of the beast, which hath no
understanding ;" and by pride, malice, and revenge, transform
himself into the very image of the devil, " who was a murderer
from the beginning."

This was the state of the Gentile nations, when the light of the
gospel appeared to scatter the darkness that overspread the face
of the earth. And this has been the case, so far as has yet ap-
peared, of all the nations ever since, upon whom the Sun of right-
eousness has not arisen with healing in his wings. Every new
discovered country opens a new scene of astonishing ignorance
and barbarity ; and gives us fresh evidence of the universal cor-
ruption of human nature.

II. I proceed now to consider the compassionate care and kind-
ness of our blessed Redeemer towards mankind, in these their de-
plorable circumstances. He " sends out his servants" to invite
them "to come in," and accept the entertainment of his house.

God might have left his guilty creatures to have eternally suf-
fered the dismal effects of their apostacy, without the least impu-
tation of injustice, or violence of his infinite perfections. The fall
was the consequence of man's criminal choice, and attended with
the highest aggravations. The angels that sinned were made ex-

AT BRAINERD'S ORDINATION. 17

amples of God's righteous severity, and are reserved "in chains''
of guilt " to the judgment of the great day." Mercy, that tender
attribute of the divine nature, did not interpose in their behalf, in
order to suspend the execution of their sentence, or to avert God's
threatened displeasure. Their punishment is unalterably de-
creed, their judgment is irreversible ; they are the awful monu-
ments of revenging wrath, and are condemned " to blackness of
darkness for ever." Now justice might have shewn the same in-
flexible severity to rebellious man, and have left the universal
progeny of Adam to perish in their guilt and misery. It was un-
merited mercy that distinguished the human race, in providing a
Saviour for us ; and it was the most signal compassion that re-
vealed the counsels of heaven for our recovery.

But though justice did not oblige the divine Being to provide
for our relief, yet the goodness of the indulgent Father of the uni-
verse inclined him to shew pity to his guilty creatures, who fell
from their innocence through the subtlety and malice of seducing
and apostate spirits. It was agreeable to the divine wisdom to
disappoint the devices of Satan, the enemy of God and goodness,
and recover the creatures he had made from their subjection to
the powers of darkness.

He therefore gave early discoveries of his designs of mercy to
our first parents, and immediately upon the apostacy opened a
door ofliope for their recovery. He revealed a Saviour to the
ancient Patriarchs, under dark types and by distant promises ;
made clearer declarations of his will, as the appointed time drew
n#erf;for the accomplishment of the promises, and the manifesta-
tion of the Son of God in human flesh. "And when the fulness
of time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman,
made under the law, to redeem them that were under the law.
that he might receive the adoption of sons."

This divine and illustrious person left the bosom of his Father,
that he might put on the character of a servant ; descended from
the glories, of heaven, that he might dwell on this inferior earth ;
was made under the law, that he might fulfil all righteousness ;
submitted to the infirmities of human nature, to the sorrows and
sufferings of an afflicted life, and to the agonies of a painful igno-
minious death on a cross, that he might destroy the power of sin,
abolish the empire of death, and purchase immortality and glory
for perishing man.

While our Lord Jesus resided in this lower world, he preach-
ed the glad tidings of salvation, and published the kingdom of
God ; confirming his doctrine by numerous and undoubted mira-
cles, and recommending his instructions by the charms of a spot-
less life and conversation. He sent forth his apostles to pursue

18 PEMBEfcTON'S SERBffO

the same gracious design of go?pellizing the people, and furnish-
ed them with sufficient powers to proselyte the nations to the
faith. He also appointed a standing ministry, to carry on a trea-
ty of peace with rebellious sinners, in the successive ages of the
church, to continue till the number of the redeemed is comple-
ted, and the whole election of grace placed in circumstances of
spotless purity and perfect happiness.

These ministers are styled "the servants of Christ," by way
of eminence; they are in a peculiar manner devoted to the ser-
vice of their divine Pilaster: from him they receive their com-
mission; and by him they are appointed to represent his person,
preside in his worship, and teach the laws of his kingdom. To
assume this character without being divinely called, and regular-
ly introduced into this sacred office, is a bold invasion of Christ's
royal authority, and an open violation of that order which he es-
tablished in his church. These not only derive their mission from
Christ, but it is his doctrine they are to preach, and not the inven-
tions of their own brain ; — it is his glory they are to promote,
and not their own interest or'honour. Their business is not to
propagate the designs of a party, but the common salvation, and
to " beseech all, in Christ's name, to be reconciled unto God."

The Apostles, the primitive heralds of the everlasting gospel,
were sent to make the first tender of salvation to "the lost sheep
of the house of Israel;" and they were commanded to begin at
Jerusalem, the centre of the Jewish commonwealth. But when
the Jews obstinately persisted in their impenitence and unbelief,
they were commissioned " to preach tl^gospel to every crea-
ture under heaven :" the sinners of the ##btiles were invited to
come in, and accept of the offers of salvation.

The prophets pointed out a Messiah that was to come, and
proclaimed the joyful approach of a Redeemer at the time ap-
pointed in the sovereign counsels of heaven. The ministers of
the gospel now are sent to declare, that the prophecies are ac-
complished, the promise fulfilled, justice satisfied, salvation pur-
chased ; and all that will come in, shall receive the blessings of
the gospel. They are not only free to invite sinners of all or-
ders and degrees, of all ages and nations; but to assure them,
that "all things are now ready," and to use the most powerful
and persuasive methods, that they may engage them to comply
with the heavenly call. Which brings me to the third thing pro-
prosed, viz:

III. To shew, that it is the great duty of the ministers of the
gospel " to compel sinners to come in," and accept of the bles-
sings of the gospel. This is so plainly contained in my text, that

AT BRAINERD'S ORDINATION. 19

1 shall not multiply arguments to confirm it. My only business
shall be to explain the nature of this compulsion, or shew in what
manner sinners are to be " compelled to come in" to the chris-
tian church. And sure 1 am, not by the deceitful methods of fraud
and disguise, nor the inhuman practices of persecution and vio-
lence. This text, indeed, has often been alleged by the perse-
cuting bigots of all ages, and applied to support the cause of re-
ligious tyranny; to the infinite scandal of the Christian name,
and the unspeakable detriment of the Christian interest. By
this means, the enemies of our most holy faith have been strength-
ened in their infidelity, the weak have been turned aside from
" the truth as it is in Jesus," and the peaceable kingdom of the
Messiah transformed into a field of blood, a scene of hellish and
horrid cruelties. If this were the compulsion recommended in
the gospel, then absolute unrelenting tyrants would be the proper
and most infallible teachers; then racks and tortures would be
the genuine and most successful method of propagating the faith.
But surely every thing of this kind, every violent and driving
measure, is in direct opposition to the precepts and example of
our blessed Saviour, and contrary to the very genius of his gos-
pel, which proclaims " Glory to God in the highest, on earth
peace, good will towards men."*

The princes of this world exercise a temporal dominion over
mankind, and by fines levied on their estates, and punishments
inflicted on their bodies, force men to an outward subjection to
their authority and government. But the kingdom of our Lord
is of a spiritual nature ; he erects his empire in the hearts of men,
and reigns over" a willing people in the day of his power." Ex-
ternal violence may necessitate men to an external profession of
the truth, and procure a dissembled compliance with the institu-
tions of Christ; but can never enlighten the darkness of the
mind, conquer the rebellion of the will, nor sanctify and save the
soul. It may transfigure men into accomplished hypocrites ; but
will never convert them into real saints.

The gospel was originally propagated by the powerful preach-
ing of Christ and his apostles, by the astonishing miracles which
they wrought in confirmation of their doctrine, and the exempla-
ry lives by which they adorned their profession and character.
Instead of propagating their religion by the destructive methods
of fire and sword, they submitted to the rage and cruelty of a
malignant world with surprizing patience, and sacrificed their
very lives in the cause of God, without any intemperate discove-
rs of anger and resentment. Instead of calling for "fire from

Luke ii. 14=

20 PEiMBERTON'S SERMON

heaven" to destroy their opposers, they compassionated their ig-
norance, instructed them with meekness, counselled and exhorted
them with " all long suffering and doctrine," and even spent their
dying breath in praying for their conviction and conversion, that
they might be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

Now, in imitation of these primitive doctors of the Christian
church, these wise and successful preachers of the gospel, it is
the dulv of the ministers of the present day, to use the same
methods of compassion and friendly violence. A disinterested
zeal for the glory of God, a steadfast adherence to the truth, and
unshaken fidelity in our Master's cause, with universal benevo-
lence to mankind, must constantly animate our public discourses,
and be conspicuous in our private conversation and behaviour.
We must diligently endeavour to convince the understandings,
engage the affections, and direct the practice of our hearers.
Upon this head, it may not be amiss to descend to a few par-
ticulars.

1. Ministers are to " compel sinners to come in," by setting
before them their "guilty and perishing condition by nature."
Sinners are naturally fond of carnal ease and security; they are
delighted with their pleasant and profitable sins; they even
" drink in iniquity like water," with great greediness, with insa-
tiable thirst, and incessant gratification, but without fear or re-
morse. Upon this account, there is the highest necessity to
sound an alarm in their ears, that they may be awakened, to see
and consider their dangerous state ; or else they will never be
excited to " flee from the wrath to come." The secure sinner is
insensible of his want, of a Saviour : " The whole need not a
physician, but they that are sick."

To this end, the ministers of the gospel are to set " the terrors
of the Lord" in array against the sinner, and let him hear the
"thunder of divine curses," that utter their voice against the
unbelieving. They are to represent in the clearest light, and
with the most convincing evidence, the evil of sin, and the dan-
ger to which it exposes ; that " wrath from heaven is revealed
against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men ;"* that the
flaming sword of incensed justice is unsheathed, and the arm of
the Almighty ready to destroy such as are "going on still in their
trespasses," impenitent, and secure. They are not only thus to
shew them their danger, but to set before them at the same time
their wretched and helpless circumstances ; — that no human eye
can successfully pity them, nor any created arm bring them ef-

* Rom. i. 18.-

AT BRAINERD'S ORDINATION. 21

fectual deliverance ; — that, while in a state of unregenerate na-
ture, they are destitute of strength to perform any acceptable
service to the blessed God, and unable to make any adequate
satisfaction to offended justice ; — that indeed they can neither
avoid the divine displeasure, nor endure the punishment that is
due to their crimes. Thus, by a faithful application of the law,
and its threatenings, we should endeavour, by God's blessing, to
make way for the reception of the gospel and its promises. This
was the wise method observed by our blessed Saviour, the first
preacher of the gospel ; and by the apostles, his inspired suc-
cessors. So John the Baptist, who served as " the morning star"
to usher in the appearance of the Sun of righteousness," did
thus " prepare the way of the Lord," by enlightening the minds
of men in the knowledge of their guilt and misery, and inciting
them to flee from the " damnation of hell." The three thou-
sand that were converted to the faith at one sermon, in the in-
fancy of the Christian church, were first awakened with a sense
of their aggravated guilt, in "crucifying the Lord of glory;"
and brought in agony and distress to cry out, *" Men and breth-
ren, what shall we do ?"

The method, 1 confess is disagreeable to the sentiments and
inclinations of a secure world ; and may expose us to the re-
proach of those " that are at ease in Zion :" but is agreeable to
the dictates of an enlightened mind, conformable to the plan laid
down in the sacred scriptures, and has in all ages approved itself
the most successful method of promoting the interests of real and
vital religion.

2. They are to " compel sinners to come in," by a lively rep-
resentation of the power and grace of our Almighty Redeemer.
Not all the thunder and terror of curses from Mount Ebal, not
all the tremendous " wrath revealed from heaven against the un-
godly," not all the anguish and horror of a wounded spirit in an
awakened sinner, are able to produce an unfeigned and effecttal
compliance with the gospel terms o£ mercy. The ministry of the
law can only give the knowledge of -%in, rouse the sinner's con-
science, and alarm his fears : it is the dispensation of grace, that
sanctifies and saves the soul. Nor is the former needful, but in
order to the latter. So much conviction as gives us a sight of
our sin and misery, as inclines us to " flee from the wrath to
come," and disposes us to submit to the gospel-method of salva-
tion " by grace through faith," by sovereign mercy through the
Mediator, so much is necessary ; and more is neither requisite
nor useful, or desirable.

* Acts ii. 36, 37,

22 PEMBERTON'S SERMON

It is not the office of preachers to be perpetually employed in
the language of terror, or exhaust their strength and zeal in
awakening and distressing subjects. No; but as it is their dis-
tinguishing character, that they are ministers of the gospel, so it
is their peculiar business to n preach the unsearchable riches of
Christ." The person, and offices, and love of the great Re-
deemer, the merits of his obedience, and purchases of his cross,
the victories of his resurrection, the triumphs of his ascension,
and prevalence of his intercession, the power of his Spirit, the
greatness of his salvation, the frceness of his grace, &c; these
are to be the chosen and delightful subjects of their discourses.
They are to represent him as one — who has completely answer-
ed the demands of the law, rendered the Deity propitious to the
sinner, and upon this account is able eternally to save us from
the vengeance of an offended God ; — who is clothed with Al-
mighty power, to subdue the inveterate habits of sin, sanctify
our polluted nature, and restore us to spiritual health and purity;
who is Lord of the visible and invisible worlds, who knows how to
defeat the most artful devices of Satan, and will finally render
his people victorious over their most malicious and implacable ad-
versaries ; — who having " made reconciliation for iniquity" upon
the cross, is pleading the merits of his blood in heaven, and pow-
erfully interceding for all suitable blessings in behalf of his peo-
ple;— "who is there exalted as a Prince and a Saviour to give
repentance and remission of sins ;* and is able to save unto the
uttermost all those that come to God in and through him ;"t — in
fine, who from his illustrious throne in glory, stoops to look down
with pity upon guilty and perishing sinners, stretches forth the
sceptre of grace, and opens the everlasting arms of his mercy to
receive them. These peculiar doctrines of the gospel they are
frequently to teach, upon these they are to dwell with constant
pleasure, that sinners may be persuaded to hearken to the invi-
ting voice of divine love, and put their trust in this almighty and
compassionate Saviour. In order to which,

3. They are to shew sinners the mighty encouragement, thai
the gospel gives them to accept of Christ, and salvation through
his merits and righteousness. As for ignorant presumers, these
hear the glad tidings of the gospel with a fatal indifference ; and
say in their hearts, " they shall have peace," though they go on in
their evil way, stupidly " neglecting so great salvation," and re-
gardless of eternal things. But awakened minds are rather ap*.
to draw the darkest conclusions with respect to their case, and tc
judge themselves excluded from the invitations of the gospe]

* Acts v. 31. tHeb. vii. 25.

AT BRAINERD'S ORDINATION. 23

Sometimes they imagine that the number and aggravations of their
sins exceed the designs of pardoning mercy: — at other times, that
they have so long resisted the heavenly call, that now the gate
of heaven is irrecoverably barred against them : — and satan fur-
ther suggests, that it would be the height of presumption in them
to lay claim to the blessings of the gospel, till better prepared for
the divine reception. Upon such imaginary and false grounds as
these, multitudes of the invited guests make excuses, and exclude
themselves from the "marriage supper of the Lamb." It is
therefore the business of the servants of Christ to shew that
" there is yet room," even for the greatest and vilest sinners to
come in, and partake of the gospel-festival ; that " all things are
now ready," for their welcome entertainment ; — that the door is
still open, and there is free access, not only for those who have
escaped the grossest pollutions of the world, but even " for the
chief of sinners," whose guilt is of a crimson colour and a scarlet
dye ; that neither the number nor aggravations of their iniquities
will exclude them a share in the divine mercy, if now they sub-
mit to the sceptre of grace ; — that whatever their condition and
circumstances may be, it is of present obligation upon them to
accept the gospel-call, and their instant duty to come in; the
Master invites them " to come to him, that they may have life-,"
and "whosoever do so," the Master of the house assures them,
that " he will in no wise cast them out.*"

4. They are to exhibit the unspeakable advantages that will
attend a compliance with the gospel call. 1 know, indeed, the
religion of Jesus is by its enemies often represented in the most
frightful and hideous colours; particularly as laying an unreasonable
restraint on the liberties of mankind, and sinking them into melan-
choly enthusiasts. It becomes us, therefore, who are " set for the
defence of the gospel," to endeavour the removing of this ground-
less prejudice, and to convince mankind by the light of reason and
scripture, that " the ways of wisdom are ways of pleasantness,
and all her paths are peace:" that verily a life of faith in the
blessed Redeemer is the way to be happy, both here and here-
after.

Oh, what more honorable than to be " a child of God, an heir
of the kingdom of heaven!" What more pleasing than to look
back, and behold our past iniquities all buried in the depths of
eternal oblivion ; — than to look forward and view our dear Sav-
iour acknowledging us his friends and favourites, and adjudging
us to a state of unperishing glory? What more advantageous than
to have the divine favour engaged for our protection, the prom-

* John vi. 37.

24 PEMBERTON'S SERMON

ises of divine grace for our consolation, and an assured title to
"an inheritance undefiled, incorruptible, and eternal ?" This is
the portion of the true believer. These the privileges that attend
a compliance with the gospel-call.

These things are to be represented in such a manner as may
tend to captivate the hearts of men, and engage them in a solicit-
ous care and resolution to renounce the degrading servitude of
sin, and resign themselves to the power of redeeming grace.
Thus by the most effectual and persuasive methods, the ministers
of Jesus are to compel sinners " to come in, that his house may be
filled."

It was not in my design, to consider the duty of the ministry in
its just extent; but only to insist upon those things that more
properly belong to my subject, and lie directly in the view of my
text. — It will now doubtless be expected, that I apply my dis-
course more immediately to the present occasion.

And suffer me, dear Sir, in the first place, to address myself
to you, who are this day coming under a public consecration to
the service of Christ, " to bear his name among the Gentiles ; to
whom the Master-, is now sending you forth, to compel them to
come in, that his house may be filled." We trust you are a cho-
sen vessel, designed for extensive service in this honourable,
though difficult employment. We adore the God of nature, who
has furnished you with such endowments as suit you to this im-
portant charge. We adore the great Head of the Church for
the nobler gifts and graces of his Spirit; by which, we trust, you
are enabled to engage in this mission with an ardent love to God,
the universal Father of mankind, with a disinterested zeal for
the honour of Christ, the compassionate friend of sinners, and
with tender concern for the perishing souls of a " people that sit
in darkness, and in the shadow of death;" who have for many
ages been wandering out of the way of salvation, " without Christ,
and without God in the world."

The work of' the ministry, in everyplace, has its difficulties
and dangers, and requires much wisdom, fortitude, patience, and
self-denial, to discharge it in a right manner, with an encouraging
prospect of 'success: but greater degrees of prudence, humility,
and meekness, mortification to the present world, holy courage,
and zeal for the honour of God our Saviour, are necessary where
any are called to minister the gospel unto those who, through a
long succession of ages have dwelt in the darkness of Heath-
enism, have from their infancy imbibed inveterate prejudices
against the Christian faith, and from time immemorial been inured

AT BRAINERD'S ORDINATION. 25

to many superstitious and idolatrous practices, directly opposite
to the nature and design of the gospel.

What heavenly skill is required, to convey the supernatural
mysteries of the gospel into the minds of uninstructed Pagans,
who are "a people of a strange speech and hard language?" —
What deep self-denial is necessary, to enable you cheerfully to
forsake the pleasures of your native country, with the agreeable
society of your friends and acquaintance, to dwell among those
who inhabit not indeed "the high-ways and hedges," but unculti-
vated desarts, and the remotest recesses o'f the wilderness? —
What unwearied zeal and diligence, to proselyte those to the faith
of the gospel, who have quenched the light of reason, and by
their inhuman and barbarous practices have placed themselves
upon a level with the brute creatibn ?

Methinks I hear you crying out, "who is sufficient for these
things!" — And indeed, if you had no strength to depend upon
but your own, — no- encouragement but from human assistance,
you might justly sink dowr^ in despair and utter the passionate
language of Moses, ^O my Lord,*, send, I pray thee, by the
hand of him whom-. thou wiitfeeai:" thy servant is insufficient for
so great a work. — But it is .aW|re command of Christ, the great
Head of the Church, that you go "forth ; who by a train of sur-
prising providences, has been preparing your way for this impor-
tant embassy ; and therefore you may be assured, that he will
support you in a faithful discharge of your duty, accept your un-
feigned desires to promote the interests of his kingdom, and fi-
nally reward your imperfect services with his gracious approba-
tion. You have his divine promise for your security and conso-
lation ; " Lo ! I am with you alwayj eyen to the end of the
world." This will afford you light i"p djgiy darkness, defence in
every danger, strength in every weafpess, and a final victory
over every temptation. If Christ be with you, "in vain do the
Heathen rage," in vain will their confederated tribes unite their
forces to obstruct and discourage you. Infinite wisdom will be
your guide, almighty power your shield^ and God himself "your
exceeding great reward." The presence of your divine Master
will make amends for the absence of your dearest friends and
relatives. This will transform a wild and uncultivated desart
into a paradise of joy and pleasure : and the lonely huts of
savages into more delightful habitations than the palaces of
princes.

Let not then any difficulties discourage, any dangers affright
you. Go forth in the name and strength of the Lord Jesus, to
whom you are now to be devoted in the sacred office of the min-
istry. "Be not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the

• ' 4

26 PEMBERTON'S SERMON

power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth, to the
Jew first, and also to the Gentile." Let zeal for the honour of
God, and compassion for the souls of men, animate your public
discourses and private addresses to the people committed to your
charge. Always remember, that your character is a minister of
Jesus; and therefore with the inspired doctor of the Gentiles,
you " are to know nothing among them, save Christ, and him
crucified." Frequently consider, that the gospel is a divine dis-
cipline to purify the heart, and set up the kingdom of the Re-
deemer in the souls of men: and therefore it is not sufficient to/
bring sinners to a profession of the name of Christ, and an out-
ward subjection to the institutions of divine worship : " You are
sent to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of
Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and
an inheritance among them that are sanctified by faith that is in
Christ." Unless this be effected, (whatever other improvements
they gain,) they are left under the dominion of sin, and exposed
to the wrath of God ; and their superior degrees of knowledge
will only serve to light them down to the regions of death and
misery. Tim then is to be the principal design of your ministry;
for this you are to labour with unwearied application, and with
incessant importunity to approach the throne of that God,
whose peculiar prerogative it is " to teach us to profit ;" whose
grace alone can make them "a willing people in the day of his
power."

And for your encouragement, I will only add : When I con-
sider the many prophecies, in sacred scripture, of the triumphant
progress of the gospel in the last ages of the world, I cannot
but lift up my head with joy, in an humble expectation, that the
day 'drams near, yea, is even at hand, when the promises made to
the Son of God shall be more illustriously fulfilled : — " when he
shall have the Heathen for his inheritance, and the utmost parts
of the earth for his possession ; when his name shall be great
among the Gentiles, and be honoured and adored from the rising
of the sun to the going down of the same." But if the appoint-
ed time is not yet come, and the attempts made to introduce this
glorious day, fail of desired success, " your judgment will be
with the Lord, and your reward with your God." If the Gen-
tiles " be not gathered" in, you will " be glorious in the eyes of
the Lord," who accepts and rewards his servants according to
the sincerity of their desires, and not according to {he success of
their endeavours.

I shall conclude with a few words to the body of the people.
Gpd oisr Saviour, in infinite condescension, hath sent his servants
U) invite you to come in, and receive the blessings which infi-

AT BRAINERD'S ORDINATION. 27

nite wisdom has contrived, and astonishing grace prepared for
your entertainment. And surely, my brethren, it is your impor-
tant duty and incomparable interest, not to despise "the salva-
tion of God sent unto the Gentiles," nor make light of the gospel
message to you.

God has been pleased to employ us the messengers of his grace.
men of like passions with yourselves, subject to the common in-
firmities of human nature: but the message comes from him, who
is King of kings and Lord of lords ; whom you are under the
strongest obligations to hear and obey, in point of interest, grati
tude, and duty.

What gracious and condescending methods has he taken to
allure and invite you ! has he not descended from heaven to
earth; from the boundless glories of eternity to all the sufferings
and afflctions of this mortal life, that he might purchase and re-
veal salvation ; that he might engage your love, and persuade
you to comply with his saving designs ? Does he not send his
"ambassadors to beseech you in his stead, to be reconciled to
God ?"

What excuses have you to make, that will stand the trial of
an enlightened conscience, or justify you at the awful tribunal of
God? will the vanishing enjoyments of sin and sense, or the per-
ishing riches of this transitory world, make amends for the loss
of the divine favour, or support you under the terrors of eternal
damnation ? — Are there any honours comparable to the dignity
and character of a child of God, and a title to the privileges of
his house and family ? Are there any pleasures equal to the smiles
of God's reconciled face, the refreshing visits of his love, and
the immortal joys of his salvation?

But how deplorable, how desperate will be your case, if you
finally refuse the gospel-invitation, and perish in your natura.1
state of guilt and misery ? the compassionate Jesus, who now
addresses you in the inviting language of love, will then speak to
you with the voice of terror, and " swear in his wrath, that you
shall never enter into his rest, that you shall never taste of his
supper," the rich provision which he has made for the eternal
entertainment of his guests. " When once the Master of the
house is risen up, and hath shut to the door," you will in vain
stand without and knock for admission.

In a word, Now, he declares by his servants, that " all things
are ready," and all that are bidden shall be welcome, upon their
coming in, to be partakers of the benefit. The blood of Christ is
now ready, to cleanse you from all your guilt and pollution ; his
righteousness is now ready to adorn your naked souls with the gar-
ment of salvation ; his Spirit is now ready to take possession of

28 PEMBERTON'S SERMON, &c.

you, and make you eternal monuments of victorious and redeem-
ing grace. " The Spirit and the bride say, Come ; and whosoever
(of the lost and perishing sons of Adam) will, let him come,"
and participate of the blessings of the gospel "freely, without
money, and without price." The arms of everlasting mercy are
open to receive you : the treasures of divine grace are open to
supply your wants : and every one of you that now sincerely ac-
cepts this gracious invitation, shall hereafter be admitted " to sit
down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heav-
en." For which, God of his infinite mercy prepare us" all,

through Jesus Christ : to whom be glory and dominion world
without end. Amen.

PREFACE.

There are two ways of recommending true religion and virtue to
the world: the one, by doctrine and precept; the other by history and
example. Both are abundantly used in the holy scriptures. Not only
are the grounds, nature, design, and importance of religion clearly ex-
hibited in the doctrines of scripture — its exercise and practice plainly
delineated, and abundantly enforced, in its commands and counsels —
but there we have many excellent examples of religion, in its power
and practice, set before us, in the histories both of the Old and New

Testament. Mt^L

Jesus Christ, the great Prophet of God, when he came to bfl
light of the world," — to teach and enforce true religion, in a greater
decree than ever had been done before — made use of both th^p
methods. In his doctrine, he not only declared more fully the mind
and will of God — the nature and properties of that virtue, which be-
comes creatures of our constitution, and in our circumstances, and
more powerfully enforced it by exhibiting the obligations and induce-
ments to holiness; but he also in his own practice gave a most perfect ex-
ample of the virtue which he taught. He exhibited to the world such an
illustrious pattern of humility, divine love, discreet zeal, self-deaial,
obedience, patience, resignation, fortitude, meekness, forgiveness, com-
passion, benevolence, and universal holiness, as neither men nor an-
gels ever saw before.

God also in his providence, has been wont to make use of both these
methods to hold forth light to mankind, and inducements to their duty,
in all ages. He has from time to time raised up eminent teachers, to
exhibit and bear testimony to the truth by their doctrine, and to op-
pose the errors, darkness, and wickedness of the world; and he has also
raised up some eminent persons who have set bright examples of that
religion which is taught and prescribed in the word of God; whose ex-
amples have, in the course of divine providence, been set forth to pub-
lic view. These have a great tendency btfj^o engage the attention
of men to the doctrines and rules taught,^Blfeo to confirm and en-
force them; especially when these bright ex^pples have been exhibit-
ed in the same persons who have been eminent teachers. Hereby the
world has had opportunity to see a confirmation of the truth, efficacy,
and amiableness of the religion taught, in the practice of the same per-
sons who have most clearly and forcibly taught it; and above all, when
these bright examples have been set by eminent teachers, in a variety
of unusual circumstances of remarkable trial; and when God ha9 with-

30 PREFACE.

al, remarkably distinguished them with wonderful success of their in-
structions and labours.

Such an instance we have in the excellent person whose life is pub-
lished in the following pages. His example is attended with a great
variety of circumstances calculated to engage the attention of religious
people, especially in America. He was a man of distinguished talents,
as all are sensible, who knew him. As a minister of the gospel, he
was called to unusual services in that work; and his ministry was at-
tended with very remarkable and unusual events. His course of reli-
gion began before the late times of extraordinary religious commotion;
yet he was not an idle spectator, but had a near concern in many things
that passed at that time. He had a very extensive acquaintance with
those who have been the subjects of the late religious operations, in
places far distant, in people of different nations, education, manners,
and customs. He had a peculiar opportunity of acquaintance with
the false appearances and counterfeits of religion; was the instrument
of a most remarkable awakening, a wonderful and abiding alteration
and moral transformation of subjects, who peculiarly render the change
rare and astonishing.

In the following account, the reader will have an opportunity to see,
not only what were the external circumstances and remarkable incidents
of the life of this person, and how he spent his time from day to day,
as to his external behaviour but also what passed in his own heart.
Here he will see the wonderful change he experienced in his mind and
disposition; the manner in which that change was brought to pass; how
it continued; and what were its consequences in his inward frames,
thoughts, affections, and secret exercises, through many vicissitudes
and trials, for more than eight years.

He will also see his sentiments, frame, and behaviour, during a long
season of the gradual and sensible approach of death; and what were
the effects of his religion in the last stages of his illness. The account
being written, the reader may have opportunity at his leisure to com-
pare the various parts of the story, and deliberately to view and weigh
the whole, and consider how far what is related, is agreeable to the dic-
tates of reason, and the Word of God.

I am far from supposing, that Brainerd's inward exercises or his ex-
ternal conduct, were free from all imperfections. The example of
7esus Ovist, is the only perfect example that ever existed in human
nature. It is, therefore, a rule by which to try all other examples;
and the dispositions, frames, and practices of others, must be commen-
ded and followed no further, than they were followers of Christ.

There is one thing in Braixerd, easily discernible by the following
account of his life, which may be called an imperfection in him, which,
though not properly an imperfection of a moral nature, yet, may pos-
sibly be made an objection against the extraordinary appearances of re-
ligion and devotion in him, by such as seek for objections against every
thing that can be produced in favour of true, vital religion; I refer to
the fact, that he was, by his constitution and natural temper, so prone

PREFACE. 31

10 melancholy, and dejection of spirit. There are some, who think that
all religion is a melancholy thing; and that what is called Christian ex-
perience is little else besides melancholy vapours, disturbing the brainy
and exciting enthusiastic imaginations. But that Brainerd's temper,
or constitution inclined him to despondency, is no just ground to sus-
pect his extraordinary devotion to have been only the fruit of a warm
imagination. All who have well observed mankind, will readily grant
that many of those who by their natural constitution or temper, are
most disposed to dejection, are not the most susceptive of lively and
strong impressions on their imagination, or the most subject to those
vehement affections, which are the fruits of such impressions. Many,
who are of a very gay and sanguine natural temper are vastly more so;
and if their affections are turned into a religious channel, are much
more exposed to enthusiasm, than many of the former. As to Brain-
erd notwithstanding his inclination to despondency, he was evidently
one of those who usually are the farthest from a teeming imagination;
being of a penetrating genius, of clear thought, of close reasoning, and a
very exact judgment; as all know who knew him. As he had a great in-
sight into human nature, and was very discerning and judicious in gene-
ral; so he excelled in his judgment and knowledge in divinity, but es-
pecially in experimental religion. He most accurately distinguished
between real, solid piety, and enthusiasm; between those affections
that are rational and scriptural — having their foundation in light and
judgment — and those that are founded in whimsical conceits, strong im-
pressions on the imagination, and vehement emotions of the auimal spir-
its. He was exceedingly sensible of men's exposedness to these things;
how much they had prevailed, and what multitudes had been deceived
by them; of their pernicious consequences, and the fearful mischief they
had done in the Christian world. He greatly abhorred such a reli-
gion, and was abundant in bearing testimony against it, living and dy-
ing; and was quick to discern when any thing of that nature arose,
though in its first buddings, and appearing under the most fair and plau-
sible disguises. He had a talent for describing the various workings of
this imaginary enthusiastic religion — evincing its falseness and vanity,
and demonstrating the great difference between this, and true spiritual
devotion — which I scarcely ever knew equalled in any person.

His judiciousness did not only appear in distinguishing among the ex-
periences of others, but also among the various exercises of his ozvn
mind; particularly in discerning what within himself was to be laid to
the score of melancholy; in which he exceeded all melancholy persons
that ever I was acquainted with. This was doubtless owing to a pe-
culiar strength in his judgment; for it is a rare thing indeed, that mel-
ancholy people are sensible of their own disease, and convinced that
such things are to be ascribed to it, as are its genuine operations and
fruits. Brainero did not obtain that degree of skill at once, but gradu-
ally; as the reader may discern by the following account of his life,
fnthe former part of his religious course, he imputed much of that
kind of gloominess of mind, and those dark thoughts, to spirited cfe-

32 PREFACE.

sertion which in the latter part of his life, he was abundantly sensible,
were owing to the disease of melancholy; accordingly he often ex-
pressly speaks of them in his diary, as arising from this cause. He of-
ten in conversation spoke of the difference between melancholy, and
godly sorrow, true humiliation, and spiritual discretion, and the great
danger of mistaking the one for the other, and the very hurtful nature
of melancholy; discoursing with great judgment upon it, and doubtless
mucb more judiciously for what he knew by his own experience.

But not to argue from Brainerd's strength of judgment merely, it
is apparent \nfact, that he was not a person of a warm imagination.
His inward experiences, whether in his convictions or his conversion,
and his religious views and impressions through the course of his life,
were not excited by strong and lively images formed in his imagination;
nothing at all appears of it in his diury from beginning to end. He told
me on his death-bed, that although once, when he was very young in
years, and experience, he was deceived into a high opinion of such
things — looking on them as superior attainments in religion, beyond what
he had ever arrived at — was ambitious of them, and earnestly sought
them; yet he never could obtain them. He moreover declared, that
he never in his life had a strong impression on his imagination, of any
outward form, external glory, or any thing of that nature; which kind
of impressions abound among enthusiastic people.

As Brainerd's religious impressions, views, and affections in their
nature were vastly different from enthusiasm; so were their effects in
him as contrary to it as possible. Nothing, like enthusiasm, puffs men
up with a high conceit of their own wisdom, holiness, eminence, and
sufficiency; and makes them so bold, forward, assuming, and arrogant.
But the reader will see that Brainerd's religion constantly disposed
him to a most humble estimation of himself, an abasing sense of his
own sinfulness, unprofitableness, and ignorance; looking on himself
as worse than others; disposing him to universal benevolence and
meekness; in honour to prefer others, and to treat all with kindness
and respect. And when melancholy prevailed, and though the effects
of it were very prejudicial to him, yet it had not the effects of enthu-
siasm; but operated by dark and discouraging thoughts of himself, as
ignorant, wicked, and wholly unfit for the work of the ministry, or even
to be among mankind. Indeed, at the time just mentioned, when he
had not learned well to distinguish between enthusiasm and solid reli-
gion, he joined, and kept company with some who were tinged with no
small degree of the former. For a season, he partook with them in a
degree, of their dispositions and behaviours; though, as was observed
before, he could not obtain those things wherein their enthusiasm itself
consisted, and so could not become like them in that respect, however
he erroneously desired and sought it. But certainly it is not at all to be
wondered at, that a youth, a young convert, one who had his heart so
swallowed up in religion, and who so earnestly desired its flourishing
state — and who had so little opportunity for reading, observation, and
experience — should for a while be dazzled and deceived with the glar-
ing appearances of mistaken devotion and zeal; especially, considering

PREFACE. 33

the extraordinary circumstances of that day. He told me on his death
bed, that while he was in these circumstances, he was out of his ele-
ment, and did violence to himself, while complying in his conduct with
persons of a fierce and imprudent zeal, from his great veneration of
some whom he looked upon as better than himself. So that it would
be very unreasonable that his error at that time should nevertheless
be esteemed a just ground of prejudice against the whole of his reli-
gion, and his character in general; especially considering, how greatly
his mind was soon changed, and how exceedingly he afterwards lament-
ed his error, and abhorred himself for his imprudent zeal and miscon-
duct at that time, even to the breaking of his heart, and almost to the
overbearing of his natural strength; and how much of a Christian spirit
he shewed, in condemning himself for that misconduct, as the reader
will see.

What has now been mentioned of Brainerd, is so far from being a
just ground of prejudice against what is related in the following ac-
count of his life, that, if duly considered, it will render the history the
more serviceable. For by his thus joining for a season with enthusi-
asts, he had a more full and intimate acquaintance with what belonged
to that sort of religion; and so was under better advantages to judge of
the difference between that, and what he finally approved, and strove
to his utmost to promote, in opposition to it. In his testimony
against it, and the spirit and behaviour of those who are influenced
by it, he also speaks from impartial conviction, and not from prejudice;
because he thus openly condemns his own former opinions and conduct,
on account of which he had greatly suffered from his opposers, and for
which some continued to reproach him as long as he lived.

Another imperfection in Brainerd, which may be observed in the
following account of his life, was his being excessive in his labours; not
taking due care to proportion his fatigues to his strength. Indeed, the
case was very often such, by the seeming calls of Providence s as made
it extremely difficult for him to avoid doing more than his strength
would well admit .•afe yea, his circumstances, and the business of his
mission among the IlTOians, were such, that great fatigues and hardships
were altogether inevitable. However, he was finally convinced, that
he had erred in this matter, and that he ought to have taken more thor-
ough care, and been more resolute to withstand temptations to such de-
grees of labour as injured his health; and accordingly warned his bro-
ther, who succeeds him in his mission, to be careful to avoid this error.

Besides the imperfections already mentioned, it is readily allowed
that there were some imperfections which ran through his whole life,
and were mixed with all his religious affections and exercises; some
mixture of what was natural, with that which was spiritual; as it ever-
more is in the best saints in this world. Doubtless, natural temper
had some influence in the religious exercises and experiences of Brai-
nerd, as it most apparently had in those of David and Peter, of John
and Paul. There was undoubtedly very often some mixture of melan-
chol^with true godly sorrow, and real Christian humility; some mix-

34 PREFACE.

ture of the natural fire of youth, with his holy zeal for God; and
«ome influence of natural principles, mixed with grace in various
other respects, as it ever was and ever will be with the saints, while
on this side heaven. Perhaps none were more sensible of Brainerd's
imperfections, than himself; or could distinguish more accurately than
he, between what was natural, and what was spiritual. It is easy for
the judicious reader to observe, that his graces ripened, that the re-
ligious exercises of his heart became more and more pure, and he more
and more distinguishing in his judgment, the longer he lived. He had
much to teach and purify him, and he failed not to make his advantage.

Notwithstanding all these imperfections, ever}' pious and judicious
reader will readily acknowledge, that what is here set before him, is a
remarkable instance of true and eminent piety, in heart and practice —
tending greatly to confirm the reality of vital religion, and the power
of godliness; — that it is most worthy of imitation, and in many ways
calculated to promote the spiritual benefit of the careful observer.

The reader should be aware, that what Brainerd wrote in his dia-
ry, out of which the following account of his life is chiefly taken, was
written only for his own private use; and not to obtain honour and ap-
plause in the world, nor with aDy design that the world should ever see
it, either while he lived, or after his death; except a few things which
he wrote in a dying state, after he had been persuaded, with difficulty,
not entirely to suppress all his private writings. He shewed himself
almost invincibly averse to the publishing of any part of his diary af-
ter his death; and when he was thought to be dying at Boston, gave
the most strict, peremptory orders to the contrary. But being by
some of his friends there, prevailed upon to withdraw so strict and ab-
solute a prohibition, he was finally pleased to yield so far, as that
" his papers should be left in my hands, that I might dispose of them as
I thought would be most for God's glory, and the interest of religion."

But a few days before his death, he ordered some part of his diary
to be destroyed, which renders the account of his life, the less com-
plete. And there are some parts of his diary here, left out for brevi-
ty's sake, which would, I am sensible, have been a great advantage to
the history, if they had been inserted; particularly the account of his
wonderful success among the Indians; which for substance, is the same
in his private diary with that which has already been made public, in
the journal he kept by order of the society in Scotland, for their in-
formation. That account, I am of opinion, would be more entertain-
ing and more profitable, if it were published as it is written in his dia-
ry, in connection with his secret religion, and the inward exercises of
his mind, and also with the preceding and following parts of the story
of his life. But because that account has been published already, I
have therefore omitted that part. However, this defect may in a
great measure, be made up to the reader, by the public journal.* But
it is time to end this preface, that the reader may be no longer detain-
ed from the history itself. JONATHAN EDWARDS.

* The extracts in the Journal, are in this edition for the first time incorporated
with the rest of the Diary. .

MEMOIRS, &c.

CHAPTER I.

From his birth, to the time when he began to study for the Ministry.

DAVID BRAINERD was born April 20, 1718, at Haddam, in
Connecticut. His father was Hezekiah Brainerd, Esq.; one of
his Majesty's council for that colony; who was the son of Daniel
Brainerd, Esq.; a justice of the peace, and a deacon of the
Church of Christ in Haddam. His mother was Dorothy Hobart,
daughter of the Rev. Jeremiah Hobart; who preached a while at
Topsfield, then removed to Hempstead on Long-Island, and af-
terwards— by reason of numbers turning Quakers, and many
others being so irreligious that they would do nothing towards the
support of the gospel — settled in the work of the ministry at
Haddam ; where he died, in the 85th year of his age. He went
to public worship in the forenoon, and died in his chair between
meetings. This Rev. gentleman was a son of the Rev. Peter
Hobart; who was, first, minister of the gospel at Hingham, in
the county of Norfolk, in England ; and, owning to the persecu-
tion of the Puritans, removed with his family to New-England,
and was settled in the ministry at Hingham, in Massachusetts.
He had five sons, Joshua, Jeremiah, Gershom, Japheth, and
Nehemiah. Joshua was minister at Southold, on Long-Island.
Jeremiah was David Brainerd's grandfather. Gershom was min-
ister of Groton, in Connecticut. Japheth was a physician; he went
as surgeon of a ship to England, before the time of taking his sec-
ond degree at college, and designed to go from thence to the East
Indies ; but never was heard of more. Nehemiah was fellow of
Harvard college, and afterwards minister at Newton in Massachu-
setts.— The mother of Dorothy Hobart, was a daughter of the
Rev. Samuel Whiting, minister of the gospel, first at Boston, in
Lincolnshire, and afterwards at Lynn in Massachusetts, New
England. He had three sons, who were ministers of the gos-
pel.

36 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

David Brainerd was the third son of his parents. They had
five sons and four daughters. Their eldest son is Hezekiah Brain-
erd, Esq. ; a justice of the peace, and for several years past, a
representative of the town of Haddam, in the general assembly
of Connecticut; the second was the Rev. Nehemiah Brainerd,
a worthy minister at Eastbury in Connecticut, who died of a con-
sumption, Nov. 10, 1742; the fourth is Mr. John Brainerd, who
succeeds his brother David, as missionary to the Jndians, and
pastor of the same church of Christian Indians in New-Jersey;
and the fifth was Israel, lately student at Yale-College, in New-
Haven, who died since his brother David. — Mrs. Dorothy Brain-
erd having lived about five years a widow, died when her son, of
whose life I.am about to give an account, was about fourteen years
of age : so that in his youth he was left both fatherless and moth-
erless. What account he has given of himself, and his own life,
may be seen in what follows.*

"I was from my youth somewhat sober, and inclined to melan-
choly; but do not remember anything of conviction of sin, wor-
thy of remark, till I was, I believe, about seven or eight years
of age. Then I became concerned for my soul, and terrified at
the thoughts of death ; and was driven to the performance of re-
ligious duties : but it appeared a melancholy business, that de-
stroyed my eagerness for play. And though, alas! this religious
concern was but short-lived, I sometimes attended secret prayer;
and thus lived at " ease in Zion, without God in the world," and
without much concern, as I remember, till I was above thirteen
years of age. In the winter of 1732, I was roused out of this
carnal security, by I scarce know what means at first ; but was
much excited by the prevalence of a mortal sickness in Haddam.
I was frequent, constant, and somewhat fervent in prayer ; and
took delight in reading, especially Mr. Janeway's Token for
children. I felt sometimes much melted in the duties of religion,
took great delight in the performance of them, and sometimes
hoped that I was converted, or at least in a good and hopeful way
for heaven and happiness; not knowing what conversion was.
The Spirit of God at this time proceeded far with me. I was
remarkably dead to the world ; my thoughts were almost wholly
employed about my soul's concerns; and I may indeed say, "Al-

* In Mr. Brainerd's account of himself here, and continued in his Diary, the
reader will find a grou-ing interest and pleasure as he proceeds ; in which is beau-
tifully exemplified what the inspired penman declares, " The path of the just is as
the morning light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day." And indeed
i'.-cn his diction and style of writing assume a gradual improvement.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 3?

most I was persuaded to be a Christian." I was also exceedingly
distressed and melancholy at the death of my mother, in March,
1732. But afterwards my religious concern began to decline,
and by degrees I fell back into a considerable degree of security,
though I still attended secret prayer.

"About the 15th of April, 1733, I removed from my father's
house to East-Haddam, where I spent four years; but still "with-
out God in the world," though, for the most part, I went a round
of secret duty. I was not much addicted to the company and
amusements of the young; but this I know, that when I did go
into such company, I never returned with so good a conscience as
when I went. It always added new guilt, made me afraid to come
to the throne of grace, and spoiled those good frames with which
I was wont sometimes to please myself. But, alas! all my good
frames were but self-righteousness, not founded on a desire for
the glory of God.

"About the latter end of April, 1737, being full nineteen years
of age, I removed to Durham, to work on my farm, and so contin-
ued about one year ; frequently longing, from mere natural prin-
ciples, after a liberal education. When about twenty years of
age, I applied myself to study ; and was now engaged more than
ever in the duties of religion. 1 became very strict, and watchful
over my thoughts, words, and actions; concluded that I must be
sober indeed, because I designed to devote myself to the ministry;
and imagined that I did dedicate myself to the Lord.

" Sometime in April, 1738, I vyent to Mr. Fiske's, and lived
with him during his life.* I remember he advised me wholly to
abandon young company, and associate myself with grave elderly
people: which counsel I followed. My manner of life was now
wholly regular, and full of religion, such as it was; for I read my
bible more than twice through in less then a year, spent much
time every day in prayer and other secret duties, gave great atten-
tion to the word preached, and endeavoured to my utmost to re
tain it. So much concerned was I about religion, that I agreed
with some young persons to meet privately on Sabbath evenings
for religious exercises, and thought myself sincere in these duties;
and after our meeting was ended, I used to repeat the discourses
of the day to myself; recollecting what I could, though sometimes
very late at night. I used occasionally on Monday mornings to
recollect the same sermons ; experienced a considerable degree
of enjoyment in prayer, and had many thoughts of joining the
church. In short, I had a very good outside, and rested entirely
on my duties, though I was not sensible of it.

* Mr. Fiske was the pastor of the church in Haddam.

38 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

"After Mr. Fiske's death, I proceeded in my studies with my
brother; was still very constant in religious duties, often wondered
at the levity of professors, and lamented their carelessness in reli-
gious matters. — Thus I proceeded a considerable length on a
self-righteous foundation ; and should have been entirely lost and
undone, had not the mere mercy of God prevented.

" Sometime in the beginning of winter, 1733, it pleased God,
one Sabbath morning, as 1 was walking out for prayer, to give me
on a sudden such a sense of my danger, and the wrath of God,
that I stood amazed, and my former good frames presently van-
ished. From the view which I had of my sin and vileness, I was
much distressed all that day, fearing that the vengeance of God
would soon overtake me. I was much dejected ; kept much alone ;
and sometimes envied the birds and beaststheir happiness, because
they were not exposed to eternal misery, as I evidently saw that I
was. Thus I lived from day to day, being frequently in great
distress: sometimes there appeared mountains before me to ob-
struct my hopes of mercy; and the work of conversion appeared
so great, that I thought I should never be the subject of it. _ I
used, however, to pray and cry to God, and perform other duties
with great earnestness; and thus hoped by some means to make
the case better.

" Hundreds of times, I renounced all pretences of any worth
in my duties, as I thought, even while performing them, and often
confessed to God that I deserved nothing, for the very best of
them, but eternal condemnation ; yet still I had a secret hope of
recommending myself to God by my religious duties. When I
prayed affectionately, and my heart seemed in some measure to
melt, I hoped that God would'be thereby moved to pity me. My
prayers then looked with some appearance of goodness in them,
and I seemed to mourn for sin. Then I could in some measure
venture on the mercy of God in Christ, as I thought; though the
preponderating thought, the foundation of my hope was some
imagination of goodness in my meltings of heart, the warmth of
my affections, and my extraordinary enlargements in prayer.
Though at times the gate appeared so very strait, that it looked
next to impossible to enter; yet, at other times, I flattered my-
self that it was not so very difficult, and hoped I should by dili-
gence and watchfulness soon gain the point. Sometimes after
enlargement in duty and considerable affection, I hoped I had
made a good step towards heaven ; and imagined that God was
affected as I was, and would hear such sincere cries, as I called
them. And so sometimes, when I withdrew for secret prayer in

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 39

great distress, I returned comfortable; and thus healed myself
with my duties.

"In February 1739, I set apart a day for secret fasting and
prayer, and spent the day in almost incessant cries to God for
mercy, that he would open my eyes to see the evil of sin, and the
way of life by Jesus Christ. God was pleased that day to make
considerable discoveries of my heart to me. Still I trusted in all
the duties I performed, though there was no manner of goodness
in them ; there being in them no respect to the glory of God, nor
any such principle in my heart. Yet God was pleased to make
my endeavours, that day, a means to shew me my helplessness in
some measure.

" Sometimes I was greatly encouraged, and imagined that God
loved me, and was pleased with me, — and thought I should soon
be fully reconciled to God. But the whole was founded on mere
presumption, arising from enlargement in duty, or warmth of af-
fections, or some good resolutions, or the like. And when, at
times, great distress began to arise, on a sight of my vileness, and
inability to deliver myself from a sovereign God, I used to put off
the discovery, as what I could not bear. Once, I remember, a
terrible pang of distress seized me ; and the thought of renounc-
ing myself, and standing naked before God, stripped of all good-
ness, was so dreadful to me, that I was ready to say to it, as Felix
to Paul, " Go thy way for this time." Thus, though I daily long-
ed for greater conviction of sin; supposing that I must see more
of my dreadful state in order to a remedy ; yet, when the discov-
eries of my vile, wicked heart, were made to me, the sight was
so dreadful, and shewed me so plainly my exposedness to damna-
tion, that I could not endure it. I constantly strove after what-
ever qualifications I imagined others obtained before the recep-
tion of Christ, in order to recommend me to his favour. Some-
times I felt the power of a hard heart, and supposed it must be
softened before Christ would accept of me ; and when I felt any
meltings of heart, I hoped now the work was almost done. Hence,
when my distress still remained, I was wont to murmur at God's
dealings with me; and thought, when others felt their hearts sof-
tened, God shewed them mercy ; but my distress remained still.

" At times I grew remiss and sluggish, without any great con-
victions of sin, for a considerable time together ; but after such a
season, convictions seized me more violently. One night I re-
member in particular, when I was walking solitarily abroad, I had
opened to me such a view of my sin, that I feared the ground
would cleave asunder under my feet, and become my grave; and
would send my soul quick into hell, before I could get home.

40 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Though I was forced to go to bed, lest my distress should be dis-
covered by others, which I much feared ; yet I scarcely durst
sleep at all, for I thought it would be a great wonder if I should
be out of hell in the morning. And though my distress was some-
times thus great, yet I greatly dreaded the loss of convictions, and
returning back to a state of carnal security, and to my former in-
sensibility of impending wrath ; which made me exceedingly exact
in my behaviour, lest I should stifle the motions of God's Holy
Spirit. When at any time I took a view of my convictions, and
thought the degree of them to be considerable, I was wont to
trust in them; but this confidence, and the hopes of soon making
some notable advances towards deliverance, would ease my mind,
and I soon became more senseles and remiss. — Again, when I
discerned my convictions to grow languid, and thought them about
to leave me; this immediately alarmed and distressed me. —
Sometimes I expected to take a large step, and get very far to-
wards conversion, by some particular opportunity or means I had
in view.

" The many disappointments, great distresses and perplexity
which I experienced, put me into a most horrible frame of con-
testing with the Almighty; with an inward vehemence and viru-
lence finding fault with his ways of dealing with mankind. I found
great fault with the imputation of Adam's sin to his posterity : and
my wicked heart often wished for some other way of salvation,
than by Jesus Christ. Being like the troubled sea, my thoughts
confused, I used to contrive to escape the wrath of God by some
other means. I had strange projects, full of Atheism, contriving
to disappoint God's designs and decrees concerning me, or to es-
cape his notice, and hide myself from him.. But when, upon re-
flection, I saw these projects were vain, and would not serve me,
and that I could contrive nothing for my own relief; this would
throw my mind into the most horrid frame, to wish there was no
God, or to wish there were some other God that could controul
him. These thoughts and desires were the secret inclinations of
my heart, frequently acting before I was aware ; but, alas ! they
were mine, although I was frightened when I came to reflect on
them. When I considered, it distressed me to think, that my
heart was so full of enmity against God ; and it made me tremble,
lest his vengeance should suddenly fall upon me. I used before
to imagine, that my heart was not so bad as the scriptures and
some other books represented it. Sometimes I used to take much
pains to work it up into a good frame, a humble submissive dispo-
sition; and hoped there was then some goodness in me. But, on
a sudden, the thoughts of the strictness of the law, or the sovereign-

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.; 41

ty of God, would so irritate the corruption of my heart, that I had
so watched over, and hoped I had brought to a good frame, that
it would break over all bounds, and burst forth on all sides, like
floods of waters when they break down their dam.

" Being sensible of the necessity of deep humiliation in order to
a saving interest in Christ, I used to set myself to produce in my
own heart the convictions requisite in such a humiliation ; as, a
conviction that God would be just, if he cast me off for ever; that
if ever God should bestow mercy on me, it would be mere grace,
though I should be in distress many years first, and be never so
much engaged in duty ; and that God was not in the least obliged
to pity me the more for all past duties, cries, and tears. I strove
to my utmost to bring myself to a firm belief of these things and a
hearty assent to them ; and hoped that now I was brought off from
myself, truly humbled, and that I bowed to the divine sovereignty.
I was wont to tell God in my prayers, that now I had those very
dispositions of soul which he required, and on which he shewed
mercy to others, and thereupon to beg and plead for mercy to me.
But when I found no relief, and was still oppressed with guilt, and
fears of wrath, my soul was in a tumult, and my heart rose against
God, as dealing hardly with me. Yet then my conscience flew
in my face, putting me in mind of my late confession to God of
his justice in my condemnation. This, giving me a sight of the
badness of my heart, threw me again into distress; and I wished
that I had watched my heart more narrowly, to keep it from
breaking out against God's dealings with me. I even wished that
I had not pleaded for mercy on account of my humiliation; be-
cause thereby I had lost all my seeming goodness. — Thus, scores
of times, I vainly imagined myself humbled and prepared for sav-
ing mercy. While I was in this distressed, bewildered, and tu-
multuous state of mind, the corruption of my heart was especially
irritatcd with the following things.

1. " The strictness of the divine Law. For I found it was im-
possible for me, after my utmost pains, to answer its demands. I
often made new resolutions, and as often broke them. I imputed
the whole to carelessness, and the want of being more watchful,
and used to call myself a fool for my negligence. But when, upon
a stronger resolution, and greater endeavours, and close applica-
tion to fasting and prayer, I found all attempts fail ; then I quar-
relled with the law of God, as unreasonably rigid. I thought, if
it extended only to my outward actions and behaviours, that I
could bear with it; but I found that it condemned me for my evil
thoughts, and sins of my heart, which I could not possibly pre-
vent. I was extremelv loth to own my utter helplessness in this

u MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

matter : but after repeated disappointments, thought that, rather
than perish, I could do a little more still ; especially if such and
such circumstances might but attend my endeavours and strivings.
I hoped, that I should strive more earnestly than ever, if the mat-
ter came to extremity, though I never could find the time to do my
utmost, in the manner I intended. This hope of future more fa-
vourable circumstances, and of doing something great hereafter,
kept me from utter despair in myself, and from seeing myself fall-
en into the hands of a sovereign God, and dependent on nothing
but free and boundless grace.

2. That faith alone was the condition of salvation ; that God
would not come down to lower terms ; and that he would not
promise life and salvation upon my sincere and hearty prayers
and endeavours. That word, Mark xvi. 16, "He that believeth
not, shall be damned," cut off all hope there.— I found that faith
was the sovereign gift of God ; that I could not get it as of myself;
and could not oblige God to bestow it upon me, by any of my per-
formances. (Eph. ii. 1. 8.) This, I was ready to say, is a hard
saying, who can hear it? I .could not bear, that all I had done
should stand for mere nothing ; as I had been very conscientious
in duty, had been exceeding religious a great while, and had, as I
thought, done much more than many others who had obtained
mercy. 1 confessed indeed the vileness of my duties; but then,
what made them at that time seem vile, was my wandering
thoughts in them ; not because I was all over defiled like a devil,
and the principle corrupt from whence they flowed, so that I could
not possibly do any thing that was good. Hence 1 called what I
did by the name of honest faithful endeavours; and could not
bear it, that God had made no promises of salvation to them.

3. " That I could not find out what faith was ; or what it was
to believe and come to Christ. I read the calls of Christ to the
weary and heavy laden; but could find no, way that he directed
them to come in. I thought I would gladly come, if I knew how;
though the path of duty were never so difficult. I read Stoddard's
Guide to Christ, (which I trust was, in the hand of God, the hap-
py means of my conversion), and my heart rose against the au-
thor ; for though he told me my very heart all along under con-
victions, and seemed to be very beneficial to me in his directions :
yet here he failed; he did not tell me any thing I could do that
would bring me to Christ, but left me as it were with a great gulph
between, without any direction to get through. For I was not yet
effectually and experimentally taught, that there could be no way
prescribed, whereby a natural man could, of his own strength, ob-
tain that which is supernatural, and which the highest angel can-
not give.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 43

4. " The sovereignty of God. I could not bear, that it should be
wholly at God's pleasure, to save or damn me, just as he would.
That passage, Rom. ix. 11 — 23. was a constant vexation to me,
especially verse 21. Reading or meditating on this, always de-
stroyed my seeming good frames ; for when I thought I was al-
most humbled, and almost resigned, this passage would make my
enmity against the sovereignty of God appear. When I came to
reflect on the inward enmity and blasphemy, which arose on this
occasion, I was the more afraid of God, and driven further from
any hopes of reconciliation with him. It gave me a dreadful view
of myself; I dreaded more than ever to see myself in God's
hands, at his sovereign disposal; and it made me more opposite
than ever to submit to his sovereignty ; for I thought God design-
ed my damnation.

" All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully at work with
me; and I was inwardly pressed to relinquish all self-confidence,
all hopes of ever helping myself by any means whatsoever. The
conviction of my lost estate was sometimes so clear and manifest
before my eyes, that it was as if it had been declared to me in so
many words, " It is done, it is done, it is for ever impossible to de-
liver yourself." For about three or four days my soul was thus
greatly distressed. At some turns, for a few moments, I seemed
to myself lost and undone ; but then would shrink back immedi-
ately from the sight, because I dared not venture myself into the
hands of God, as wholly helpless, and at the disposal of his sove-
reign pleasure. I dared not see that important truth concerning
myself, that I was dead in trespasses and sins. But when I had,
as it were, thrust away these views of myself at any time, I felt
distressed to have the same discoveries of myself again ; for I
greatly feared being given over of God to final stupidity. When
I thought of putting it off to a more convenient season, the convic-
tion was so close and powerful, with regard to the present time,
that it was the best, and probably the only time, that I dared not
put it off.

" It was the sight of truth concerning myself, truth respecting
my state, as a creature fallen and alienated from God, and that
consequently could make no demands on God for mercy, but
must subscribe to the absolute sovereignty of the divine Being;
the sight of the truth, I say, my soul shrank away from, and trem-
bled to think of beholding. Thus, he that doth evil, as all unre-
generate men continually do, hates the light of truth, neither cares
to come to it, because it will reprove his deeds, and shew him his
just deserts, John iii. 20. Sometime before, I had taken much
pains, as I thought, to submit to the sovereignty of God ; yet I

44 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

mistook the thing, — and did not once imagine, that seeing and
being made experimentally sensible of this truth, which my soul
now so much dreaded and trembled at, was the frame of soul
which I had so earnestly desired. I had ever hoped, that when I
had attained to that humiliation, which I supposed necessary to
precede faith, then it would not be fair for God to cast me off; but
now I saw it was so far from any goodness in me, to own myself
spiritually dead, and destitute of all goodness, that, on the contra-
ry, my mouth would be for ever stopped by it; and it looked as
dreadful to me, to see myself, and the relation I stood in to God —
I a sinner and criminal, and he a great judge and Sovereign — as it
would be to a poor trembling creature, to venture off some high
precipice. Hence I put it off for a minute or two, and tried for
better circumstances to do it in ; either I must read a passage or
two, or pray first, or something of the like nature; or else put off
my submission to God's sovereignty with an objection, that I did
not know how to submit. But the truth was, I could see no safe-
ty in owning myself in the hands of a sovereign God, and could
lay no claim to any thing better than damnation."

It was about this period that Brainerd wrote the following
fragment, found among his MSS. and entitled,

" Some gloomy and desponding thoughts of a soul under convictions
of sin, and concern for its eternal salvation.^1

1. <;I believe my case is singular, that none ever had so many
strange and different thoughts and feelings as I.

2. " I have been concerned much longer than many others I
have known, or concerning whom I have read, who have been
savingly converted, and yet I am left.

3. " I have withstood the power of convictions a long time ; and
therefore I fear I shall be finally left of God.

4. " I never shall be converted without stronger convictions and
greater terrors of conscience.

5. " T do not aim at the glory of God in any thing I do, and
therefore I cannot hope for mercy.

6. " I do not see the evil nature of sin, nor the sin of my na-
ture; and therefore I am discouraged.

7. " The more I strive, the more blind and hard my heart is,
and the worse I grow continually.

8. " I fear that God never shewed mercy to one so vile as I.

9. " I fear that I am not elected, and therefore must perish.

10. " I fear that the day of grace is past with me.

11. "I fear that I have committed the unpardonable sin.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 45

12. "lam an old sinner; and if God had designed mercy for
me, he would have called me home to himself before now."

"After a considerable time spent in similar exercises and dis-
tresses, one morning, whilelwaswalkingin a solitary place, as usu-
al, I at once saw that all my contrivances and projects to effect or
procure deliverance and salvation for myself, were utterly m vain;
I was brought quite to a stand, as finding myself totally lost. I
had thought many times before, that the difficulties in my way
were very great ; but now I saw, in another and very different
light, that it was for ever impossible for me to do any thing to-
wards helping or delivering myself. I then thought of blaming
myself, that I had not done more, and been more engaged, while
I had opportunity — for it seemed now as if the season of doing-
was for ever over and gone — but I instantly saw, that, let mc
have done what I would, it would no more have tended to my
helping myself, than what I had done ; that I had made all the
pleas I ever could have made to all eternity ; and that all my
pleas were vain. The tumult that had been before in my mind,
was now quieted', and I was somewhat eased of that distress
which I felt while struggling against a sight of myself, and of the
divine sovereignty. I had the greatest certainty, that my state
was forever miserable, for all that I could do; and wondered that
I had never been sensible of it before.

" While I remained in this state, my notions respecting my
duties were quite different from what I had ever entertained in
times past. Before this, the more I did in duty, the more hard
I thought it would be for God to cast me off; though at the same
time I confessed, and thought I saw, that there was no goodness
or merit in my duties ; but now, the more I did in prayer or any
other duty, the more I saw that I was indebted to God for allow-
ing me to ask for mercy ; for I saw that self-interest had led me
to pray, and that I had never once prayed from any respect to the
glory of God. Now I saw that there was no necessary connection
between my prayers and the bestowment of divine mercy ; that
they laid not the least obligation upon God to bestow his grace
upon me; and that there was no more virtue or goodness in them,
than there would be in my paddling with my hand in the water,
(which was the comparison I had then in my mind;) and this be-
cause they were not performed from any love or regard to God.
I saw that I had been heaping up my devotions before God, fast-
ing, praying, &c. pretending, and indeed really thinking some-
times, that I was aiming at the glory of God ; whereas I never
once truly intended it, but only my own happiness. I saw that as
I had never done any thing for God, I had no claim on any thing

46 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

from him, but perdition, on account of my hypocrisy and mock-
ery. Oh, how different did my duties now appear from what
they used to do ! I used to charge them with sin and imperfection;
hut this was only on account of the wanderings and vain thoughts
attending them, and not because I had no regard to God in them;
for this I thought I had. But when 1 saw evidently that I had
regard to nothing but self-interest ; then they appeared a vile
mockery of God, self-worship, and a continual course of lies. —
I saw that something worse had attended my duties than barely a
few wanderings; for the whole was nothing but self -worship, and
an horrid abuse of God.

" I continued, as I remember, in this state of mind, from Fri-
day morning till the Sabbath evening following, (July 12, 1739,)
when I was walking again in the same solitary place, where I was
brought to see myself lost and helpless, as before mentioned.
Here, in a mournful melancholy state, I was attempting to pray;
but found no heart to engage in that or any other duty ; my for-
mer concern, exercise, and religious affections were now gone.
I thought that the Spirit of God had guile left me ; but still was
not distressed ; yet disconsolate, as if there was nothing in heav-
en or earth could make me happy. Having been thus endeav-
ouring to pray — though, as I thought, very stupid and senseless —
for near half an hour; then, as I was walking in a dark thick
grove, unspeakable glory seemed to open to the view and appre-
hension of my soul. I do not mean any external brightness, for
I saw no such thing ; nor do I intend any imagination of a body of
light, some, where in the third heavens, or any thing of that na-
ture ; but it was a new inward apprehension or view that I had of
God, such as I never had before, nor any thing which had the
least resemblance of it. I stood still ; wondered ; and admired!
I knew that I never had seen before any thing comparable to it
for excellency and beauty ; it was widely different from all the
conceptions that ever I had of God, or things divine. I had no
particular apprehension of any one person in the Trinity, either
the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost; but it appeared to be
Divine glory. My soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable, to see such
a God, such a glorious divine Being; and 1 was inwardly pleased
and satisfied, that he should be God over all for ever and ever.
My soul was so captivated and delighted with the excellency,
loveliness, greatness, and other perfections of God, that I was
even swallowed up in him ; at least to that degree, that I had no
thought (as I remember) at first, about my own salvation, and
scarce reflected that there was such a creature as myself.

" Thus God, I trust, brought me to a hearty disposition to
exalt him, and set him on the throne, and principally and ulti-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 47

mately to aim at his honour and glory, as King of the universe.
I continued in this state of inward joy, peace, and astonishment,
till near dark, without any sensible abatement ; and then began
to think and examine what I had seen ; and felt sweetly composed
in my mind all the evening following. I felt myself in a new
world, and every thing about me appeared with a different aspect
from what it was wont to do. At this time, the way of salvation
opened to me with such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and excel-
lency, that 1 wondered I should ever think of any other way of
salvation ; was amazed that I had not dropped my own contrivan-
ces, and complied with this lovely, blessed, and excellent way
before. If I could have been saved by my own duties, or any
other way that I had formerly contrived, my whole soul would now
have refused it. I wondered that all the world did not see and
comply with this way of salvation, entirely by the righteousness
of Christ.

" The sweet relish of what I then felt, continued with me for
several days, almost constantly, in a greater or less degree. — I
could not but sweetly rejoice in God, lying down and rising up.
The next Lord's day I felt something of the same kind, though
not so powerful as before. But not long after I was again involv-
ed in thick darkness, and under great distress ; yet not of the same
kind with my distress under convictions. I was guilty, afraid.,
and ashamed to come before God ; was exceedingly pressed with
a sense of guilt: but it was not long before I felt, I trust, true
repentance and joy in God. — About the latter end of August, I
again fell under great darkness; it seemed as if the presence of
God was clean gone for ever; though I was not so much distressed
about my spiritual state, as I was at my being shut out from God'^
presence, as I then sensibly was. But it pleased the Lord to re-
turn graciously to me not long after."

It was, probably, at this time that the following fragment was
written, entitled,

" Some signs of Godliness.

" The distinguishing marks of a true Christian, taken from one
of my old manuscripts ; where I wrote as lfelt and experienced,
and not from any considerable degree of doctrinal knowledge, or
acquaintance with the sentiments of others in this point."

1. " He has a true knowledge of the glory and excellency of
God, that he is most worthy to be loved and praised for his own
divine perfections. Psal. cxlv. 3.

48 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

2. " God is bis portion, Psal. lxxiii. 25. And God's glory, his
great concern, Matt. vi. 22.

3. "Holiness is his delight; nothing he so much longs for, as
to be holy, as God is holy. Phil. iii. 9 — 12.

4. " Sin is his greatest enemy. This he hates, for its own
nature, for what it is in itself, being contrary to a holy God,
Jer. ii. 1. And consequently he hates all sin, Rom. vii. 24.
1 John iii. 9.

5. " The laws of God also are his delight, Psal. cxix. 97.
Rom. vii. 22. These he observes, not out of constraint, from a
servile fear of hell ; but they are his choice, Psal. cxix. 30. The
strict observance of them is not his bondage, but his greatest lib-
erty, ver. 45."

" In the beginning of September I went to Yale College, and
entered there ; but with some degree of reluctancy, fearng lest
I should not be able to lead a life of strict religion, in the midst
of so many temptations. — After this, in the vacancy, before I
went to tarry at college, it pleased God to visit my soul with clear-
er manifestations of himself and his grace. I was spending some
time in prayer and self-examination, when the Lord, by his grace,
so shined into my heart, that I enjoyed full assurance of his fa-
vour, for that time ; and my soul was unspeakably refreshed with
divine and heavenly enjoyments. At this time especially, as well
as some others, sundry passages of God's word opened to my
soul with divine clearness, power, and sweetness, so as to appear
exceeding precious, and with clear and certain evidence of its be-
ing the word of God. I enjoyed considerable sweetness in religion
all the winter following.

"In Jan. 1740, the measles spread much in college; and I,
having taken the distemper, went home to Haddam. But some
days before I was taken sick, I seemed to be greatly deserted,
and my soul mourned the absence of the Comforter exceedingly.
It seemed to me, that all comfort was forever gone. — I prayed
and cried to God for help, yet found no present comfort or relief.
But through divine goodness, a night or two before I was taken
ill, while I- was walking alone in a very retired place, and engaged
in meditation and prayer, I enjoyed a sweet refreshing visit, as I
trust, from above ; so that my soul was raised far above the fears
of death. Indeed, I rather longed for death, than feared it.
Oh, how much more refreshing this one season was, than all the
pleasures and delights that earth can afford ! After a day or two
I was taken with the measles, and was very ill indeed, so that I
almost despaired of life ; but had no distressing fears of death at

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 49

all. Through divine goodness, I soon recovered ; yet, owing to
hard study, and to my being much exposed on account of my
freshmanship, as I had but little time for spiritual duties, my soul
often mourned for want of more time and opportunity to be alone
with God. In the spring and summer following, I had better ad-
vantages for retirement, and enjoyed more comfort in religion.
My ambition in my studies greatly wronged the activity and vig-
our of my spiritual life; yet. usually, "in the multitude of my
thoughts within me, God's comforts principally delighted my soul."
These were my greatest consolations day by day.

"One day, I think, it was in June, 1740, I walked to a consid-
erable distance from college, in the fields alone, at noon, and in
prayer found such unspeakable sweetness and delight in God, that
I thought, if I roust continue still in this evil world, I wanted al-
ways to be there, to behold God's glory. My soul dearly loved
all mankind, and longed exceedingly that they should enjoy what
I enjoyed. It seemed to be a little resemblance of heaven. On
Lord's day, July 6, being sacrament-day, I found some divine
life and spiritual refreshment in that holy ordinance. When I
came from the Lord's table, I wondered how my fellow-students
could live as I was sensible most did. — Next Lord's day, July 13,
I had some special sweetness in religion. — Again, Lord's day, July
20, my soul was in a sweet and precious frame.

" Some time in August following, I became so weakly and dis-
ordered, by too close application to my studies, that I was advised
by my tutor to go home, and disengage my mind from study as
much as I could ; for I was grown so weak, that I began to spit
blood. I took his advice, and endeavoured to lay aside my stud-
ies. But being brought very low, I looked death in the face more
steadfastly ; and the Lord was pleased to give me renewedly a
sweet sense and relish of divine things ; and particularly October
13, I found divine help- and consolation in the precious duties of
secret prayer and self-ex-ammation, and my soul took delight in
the blessed God : — so likewise on the 17th of October.

Oct. 18. "In my morning devotions, my soul was exceedingly
melted, and bitterly mourned over my great sinfulness and vileness.
I never before had felt so pungent and deep a sense of the odious
nature of sin, as at this time. My soul was then unusually carried
forth in love to God, and had a lively sense of God's love to me.
And this love and hope, at that time, cast out fear. Both morning
and evening I spent some time in self-examination, to find the
truth of grace, as also my fitness to approach God,at his table the
next day ; and through infinite grace, found the holy Spirit influ-
encing my soul with love to God, as a witness within myself

7 -

50 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

Lord's day, Oct. 19. " In the morning I felt my soul hunger-
ing and thirsting after righteousness. In the forenoon, while I
was looking on the sacramental elements, and thinking that Jesus
Christ would soon he "set forth crucified before me," my soul
was filled with light and love, so that I was almost in an ecstacy ;
my body was so weak. I could scarcely stand. I felt at the same
time an exceeding tenderness and most fervent love towards all
mankind; so that my soul and all the powers of it seemed, as it were,
to melt into softness and sweetness. But during the communion,
there was some abatement of this life and fervour. This love and
joy cast out fear; and my soul longed for perfect grace and glory.
This frame continued till the evening, when my soul was sweetly
spiritual in secret duties.

Oct 20. '• I again found the assistance of the Holy Spirit in
secret duties, both morning and evening, and life and comfort in
religion through the whole day. — Oct. 21. I had likewise experi-
ence of the goodness of God in " shedding abroad his love in my
heart," and giving me delight and consolation in religious duties ;
and all the remaining part of the week my soul seemed to be taken
up with divine things. I now so longed after God, and to be
freed from sin, that, when I felt myself recovering, and thought I
must return to college again, which had proved so hurtful to my
spiritual interest the year past, I could not but be grieved, and
thought I had much rather have died; for it distressed me to think
of getting away from God. But before I went, I enjoyed several
other sweet and precious seasons of communion with God, (par-
ticularly Oct. 30, and Nov. 4,) wherein my soul enjoyed unspeak-
able comfort.

" I returned to college about Nov. 6, and, through the goodness
of God, felt the power of religion almost daily, for the space of
six weeks. — Nov. 28. In my evening devotion, I enjoyed precious
discoveries of God, and was unspeakably refreshed with that
passage, Heb. xii. 22—24. My soul longed to wing away to the
paradise of God; I longed to be conformed to God in all things. —
A day or two after, I enjoyed much of the light of God's counte-
nance, most of the clay; and my soul rested in God.

Dec. 9. " I was in a comfortable frame of soul most of the
day; but especially in evening devotions, when God was pleased
wonderfully to assist and strengthen me ; so that I thought nothing
should ever move me from the love of God in Christ Jesus my
Lord. — Oh! one hour with God infinitely exceeds all the pleasure?
and delights of this lower world.

"Towards the latter end of January, 1741, I grew more cold
and dull in religion, by means of my old temptation, viz. ambi-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 51

lion in my studies. — But through divine goodness, a great and
general Awakening spread itself over the college, about the latter
end of February, in which I was much quickened, and more
abundantly engaged in religion."

This awakening was at the beginning of that extraordinary re-
ligious commotion, through the land, which is fresh in every one's
memory. It was for a time very great and general at New-Haven;
and the college had no small share in it. That society was greatly
reformed ; the students, in general, became serious, many of them
remarkably so, and much engaged in the concerns of their eternal
salvation. However undesirable the issue of the awakenings of
that day have appeared in many others, there have been manifest-
ly happy and abiding effects of the impressions then made on the
minds of many of the members of that college. By all that I
can learn concerning Brainerd, there can be no reason to doubt
but that he had much of God's gracious presence, and of the
lively actings of true grace, at that time; yet he was afterwards
abundantly sensible, that his religious experiences and affections
at that time were not free from a corrupt mixture, nor his conduct
to be acquitted from many things that were imprudent and blame-
able; which he greatly lamented himself, and was desirous that
others should not make an ill use of such an example. Hence,
although at the time he kept a constant diary, containing a very
particular account of what passed from day to day, for the next
thirteen months, from the latter end of Jan. 1741, forementioned,
in two small books, which he called the two first volumes of his
diary, next following the account before given of his convictions,
conversion, and consequent comforts; yet, when he lay on his
death-bed, he gcve orders (unknown to me till after his death) that
these two volumes should be distroyed; and in the beginning of
the third book of his diary, he wrote thus, (by the hand of anoth-
er, he not being able to write himself,) "The two preceding vol-
umes, immediately following the account of the author's conver-
sion, are lost. If any are desirous to know how the author lived,
in general, during that space of time, let them read the first thir-
ty pages of this volume; where they will find somewhat of a
specimen of his ordinary manner of living, through that whole
space of time, which was about thirteen months; except that
here he was more refined from some imprudences and indecent
heats, than there ; but the spirit of devotion running through the
whole, was the same."

It could not be otherwise than that one whose heart had been so
prepared and drawn to God, as Brainerd's had been, should be

62 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

mightily enlarged, animated, and engaged at the sight of such an
alteration made in the college, the town, and country ; and so
great an appearance of men reforming their lives, and turning from
their profaneness and immorality, to seriousness and concern for
their salvation, and of religion reviving and flourishing almost ev-
ery where. But as an intemperate imprudent zeal, and a degree
of enthusiasm soon crept in, and mingled itself with that revival
of religion; and so great and general an awakening being quite a
new thing in the land, at least as to all the living inhabitants of it;
neither people nor ministers had learned thoroughly to distinguish
between solid religion and its delusive counterfeits. Even many
ministers of the gospel, of long standing and the best reputation,
were for a time overpowered with the glaring appearances of the
latter; and therefore, surely it was not to be wondered at, that
young Brainerd. but a sophomore at college, should be so ; who
was not only young in years, but very young in religion and ex-
perience. He had enjoyed but little advantage for the study of
divinity, and still less for observing the circumstances and events
of such an extraordinary state of things. To think it strange, a
man must divest himself of all reason. In these disadvantageous
circumstances, Brainerd had the unhappiness to have a tincture
of that intemperate, indiscreet zeal, which was at that time too
prevalent; and was ied, from his high opinion of others whom he
looked upon as better than himself, into such errors as were really
contrary to the habitual temper of his mind. One instance of his
misconduct at that time, gave great offence to the rulers of the
college, even to that degree that they expelled him the society;
which it is necessary should be here particularly related, with its
circumstances.

During the awakening at college, there were several religious
students who associated together for mutual conversation and as-
sistance in spiritual things. These were wont freely to open them-
selves one to another, as special and intimate friends : Brainerd
was one of this company. And it once happened, that he and
two or three more of these intimate friends were in the hall to-
gether, after Mr. Whittelsey, one of the tutors, had engaged in
prayer with the scholars; no other person now remainiug in the
hall but Brainerd and his companions. Mr. Whittelsey having
been unusually pathetic in his prayer, one of Brainerd's friends
on this occasion asked him what he thought of Mr. Whittelsey ;
he made answer, " He has no more grace than this chair." One
of the freshmen happening at that time to be near the hall, (though
not in the room,) over-heard these words. This person, though
he heard no name mentioned, and knew not who was thus censur-

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 53

ed, informed a certain woman in the town, withal telling her his
own suspicion, viz. that he believed Brainerd said this of some
one or other of the rulers of the college. Whereupon she went
and informed the Rector, who sent for this freshman and examin-
ed him. He told the Rector the words which he heard Brainerd
utter; and informed him who were in the room with him at that time.
Upon this the Rector sent for them. They were very backward
to inform against their friend respecting what they looked upon as
private conversation; especially as none but they had heard or
knew of whom he had uttered those words : yet the Rector

compelled them to declare what he said, and of whom he said it.

Brainerd looked on himself as very ill used in the management of
this affair; and thought that it was injuriously extorted from his
friends, and then injuriously required of him — as if he had been
guilty of some open, notorious crime — to make a public confes-
sion, and to humble himself before the whole college in the hall,
for what he had said only in private conversation. — He not com-
plying with this demand, and having gone once to the separate
meeting at New-Haven, when forbidden by the Rector ; and also
having been accused by one person of saying concerning the Hec-
tor, "that he wondered he did not expect to drop down dead for
fining the scholars who followed Mr. Tennent to Milford, though
there was no proof of it; (and Brainerd ever professed that he
did not remember his saying any thing to that purpose ;) for these
things he was expelled the college.

How far the circumstances and exigencies of that day mi°-ht
justify such great severity in the governors of the college, I will
not undertake to determine ; it being my aim, not to bring re-
proach on the authority of the college, 6ut only to do justice to
the memory of a person, who was, I think, eminently one of
those whose memory is blessed. — The reader will see, in the se-
quel of the story of Brainerd's life,* what his own thoughts af-
terwards were of his behaviour in these things, and in how Chris-
tian a manner he conducted himself, with respect to this affair ;
though he ever, as long as he lived, supposed himself ill used in
the management of it, and in what he suffered. — His expulsion
was in the winter, 1742, while in his third year at college.

* Particularly under the date, Sept. 14, 1743.

CHAPTER II.

From about the tunc when he began the study of Theology, to his Licen-

o
sure.

In the Spring of 1742, Braixerd went to live with the Rev.
Mr. Mills of Ripton, to pursue his studies with him, for the work
of the ministry. Here he spent the greater part of the time
until the Association licensed him to preach: but frequently rode
to visit the neighbouring ministers, particularly Mr. Cooke of
Stratford, Mr. Graham of Southbury, and Mr. Bellamy of Beth-
lehem. "While with Mr. Mills, he began the third book of his di-
ary in which the account he wrote of himself, is as follows :

April, 1, 1742. "I seem to be declining, with respect to my
life and warmth in divine things ; and have had not so free ac-
cess to God in prayer, as usual of late. Oh that God would hum-
ble me deeply in the dust before him! I deserve hell every day,
for not loving my Lord more, who has, I trust, loved me, and giv-
en himself for me ; and every time I am enabled to exercise any
grace renewedly, 1 am renewedly indebted to the God of all
o-race for special assistance. Where then is boasting? Surely it is
excluded, when we think how we are dependent on God for the
existence and every act of grace. O if ever I get to heaven, it
will be because God pleases and nothing else ; for I never did any
thing of myself, but get away from God ! My soul will be as-
tonished at the unsearchable riches of divine grace, when I ar-
rive at the mansions, which the blessed Saviour is gone before
to prepare.

April 2. " In the afternoon, I felt in secret prayer, much re-
signed, calm and serene. What are all the storms of this lower
world, if Jesus by his spirit does but come walking on the seas! —
Sometime past, I had much pleasure in the prospect of the Hea-
then being brought home to Christ, and desired that the Lord
would employ me in that work : but now my soul more frequently
desires to die, to be with Christ. Oh that my soul were wrapt
up in divine love, and my longing desires after God increased !
In the evening, was refreshed in prayer, with the hopes of the
advancement of Christ's kingdom in the world.

April 3. '" Was very much amiss this morning, and had a bad
night. I thought, if God would take me to himself now, my soul
would exceedingly rejoice. Oh that I may be always humble

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 55

and resigned to God, and that he would cause my soul to be more
fixed on himself, that I may be more fitted both (or doing and suf-
fering.

Lord's day, April 4. " My heart was wandering and lifeless.
In the evening God gave me faith in prayer, made my soul melt
in some measure, and gave me to taste a divine sweetness. O
my blessed God! Let me climb up near to him, and love, and
long, and plead, and wrestle, and stretch after him, and for deliv-
erance from the body of sin and death. — Alas ! my soul mourned
to think I should ever lose sight of its beloved again. " O come,
Lord Jesus, Amen."

On the evening of the next day, he complains, that he seemed
to be void of all relish of divine things, felt much of the preva-
lence of corruption, and saw in himself a disposition to all man-
ner of sin; which brought a very great gloom on his mind, and
cast him down into the depths of melancholy ; so that he speaks
of himself as amazed, having no comfort, but filled with horror,
seeing no comfort in heaven or earth.

April 6. " I walked out this morning to the same place where
I was last night, and felt as I did then ; but was somewhat relieved
by reading some passages in my diary, and seemed to feel as if I
might pray to the great God again' with freedom ; but was sud-
denly struck with a damp, from the sense 1 had of my own vile-
ness. — Then I cried to God to cleanse me from my exceeding
filthiness, to give me repentance and pardon. I then began ta
find it sweet to pray; and could think of undergoing the greatest
sufferings, in the cause of Christ, with pleasure ; and found my-
self willing, if God should so order it, to suffer banishment from
my native land, among, the Heathen, that I might do something
for their salvation, in distresses and deaths of any kind. — Then
God gave me to wrestle earnestly for others, for the kingdom of
Christ in the world, and for dear Christian friends. — I felt wean-
ed from the world, and from my own reputation amongst men, wil-
ling to be despised, and to be a gazing stock for the world to be-
hold.— It is impossible for me to express how I then felt : I had
not much joy, but some sense of the majesty of God, which made
me as it were tremble. I saw myself mean and vile, which made
me more willing that God should do what he would with me ; it
was all infinitely reasonable.

April 7. " I had not so much fervency, but felt somewhat as I
did yesterday morning, in prayer. — At noon I spent some time in
secret, with some fervency, but scarce any sweetness : and felt
very dull in (he evening.

56 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

April 8. " Had raised hopes to-day respecting the Heathen.
Oh that God would bring in great numbers of them to Jesus
Christ! I cannot but hope that I shall see that glorious day. —
Every thing in this world seems exceeding vile and little to me :
I look so on myself. — I had some little dawn of comfort to-day in
prayer ; but especially to-night, I think I had some faith and power
of intercession with God. I was enabled to plead with God for
the growth of grace in myself; and many of the dear children of
God then lay with weight upon my soul. Blessed be the Lord!
It is good to wrestle for divine blessings.

April 9. " Most of my time in morning devotion was spent
without sensible sweetness ; yet I had one elightful prospect of
arriving at the heavenly world. I am more amazed than ever at
such thoughts ; for I see myself infinitely vile and unworthy. I
feel very heartless and dull ; and though I long for the presence
of God, and seem constantly to reach towards God in desires ;
yet I cannot feel that divine and heavenly sweetness that I used
"to enjoy. — No poor creature stands in need of divine grace more
than I, and none abuse it more than I have done, and still do.

April 10. " Spent much time in secret prayer this morning,
not without some comfort in divine things, and hope I had some
faith in exercise; but am so low, and feel so little of the sensible
presence of God, that I hardly know what to call faith, and am
made to possess the sins of my youth, and the dreadful sin of my
nature. I am all sin ; I cannot think nor act, but every motion is
sin. I feel some faint hopes, that God will, of his infinite mercy,
return again with showers of converting grace to poor gospel-abus-
ing sinners; and my hopes of being employed in the cause of
God, which of late have been almost extinct, seem now a little
revived. Oh that all my late distresses and awful apprehensions,
might prove but Christ's school, to make me fit for greater ser-
vice, by teaching me the great lesson of humility !

Lord's Day. April 11. " In the morning, I felt but little life, ex-
cept that my heart was somewhat drawn out in thankfulness to
God, for his amazing grace and condescension to me, in past in-
fluences and assistances of his spirit. Afterwards, I had some
sweetness in the thoughts of arriving at the heavenly world. O
for the happy day ! After public worship, God gave me special
assistance in prayer; I wrestled with my dear Lord, with much
sweetness ; and intercession was made a delightful employment to
me. In the evening,.as I was viewing the light in the north, 1 was
delighted in contemplation on the glorious morning of the Resur-
rection.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 57

■ April 12. " This morning the Lord was pleased to lift up the
light of his countenance upon me in secret prayer, and made the
season very precious to my soul. Though I have been so depres-
sed of late, respecting my hopes of future serviceableness in the
cause of God ; yet now I had much encouragement respecting
that matter. I was especially assisted to intercede and plead for
poor souls, and for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom in the
world, and for special. grace for myself, to fit me for special servi-
ces. I felt exceedingly calm, and quite resigned to God, respect-
ing my future employment, when and where he pleased. My faith
lifted me above the world, and removed all those mountains over
which of late I could not look. I wanted not the favour of man
to lean upon; for I knew that Christ's favour was infinitely better,
and that it was no matter when nor where, nor how Christ should
send me, nor what trials he should still exercise me with, if I might
be prepared for his work and will. I now found revived in my
mind, the wonderful discovery of infinite wisdom in all the dis-
pensations of God towards me, which I had, a little before I met
with my great trial at college; every thing appeared full of divine
wisdom.

April 13. "I saw myself to be very mean and vile; and
wondered at those who showed me respect. Afterwards I was
somewhat comforted in secret retirement, and assisted to wrestle
with God, with some power, spirituality, and sweetness. Blessed
be the Lord, he is never unmindful of me, but always sends me
needed supplies; and, from time to time, when I am like one
dead, he raises me to life. Oh that I may never distrust Infinite
goodness!

April 14. "My soul longed for communion with Christ, and
for the mortification of indwelling corruption, especially spiritual
pride. O, there is a sweet day coming, wherein the weary toill
be at rest! My soul has enjoyed much sweetness this day, in the
hopes of its speedy arrival.

April 15. "My desires apparently centered in God; and I
found a sensible attraction of soul after him sundry times to
day. I know that I long for God, and a conformity to his will,
in inward purity and holiness, ten thousand times more than for
any thing here below. mjk

April 16 and 17. "I seldom prayed without some sensible
joy in the Lord. Sometimes I longed much to be dissolved and
to be with Christ. Oh that God would enable me to grow in grace
every day ! Alas ! my barrenness is such, that God might.well
say, Cut it down. I am afraid of a dead heart on the Sabbath
now begun. Oh that God would quicken me by his grace !

58 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Lord's day, April 18. "I retired early this morning into the
woods for prayer; had the assistance of God's Spirit, and faith in
exercise ; and was enabled to plead with fervency for the ad-
vancement of Christ's kingdom in the world, and to intercede for
dear, absent friends. At noon, God enabled me to wrestle with
hi in, and to feel, as I trust, the power of divine love, in prayer.
At night. I saw myself infinitely indebted to God, and had a view
of my failures in duty. It seemed to me, that I had done, as it
were, nothing for God, and that 1 never had lived to him but a
few hours of my life.

April 19. "I set apart this day for fasting and prayer to God
for his grace; especially to prepare me for- the work of the min-
istry; to give me divine aid and direction, in my preparations for
that great work ; and in his own time to send me into his harvest.
Accordingly, in the morning, 1 endeavoured to plead for the di-
vine presence for the day, and not without some life. In the
forenoon, I felt the power of intercession for precious, immor-
tal souls; for the advancement of the kingdom of my dear Lord
and Saviour in the world ; and withal, a most sweet resignation,
and even consolation and joy, in the thoughts of suffering hard-
ships, distresses, and even death itself, in the promotion of it '/
and had peculiar enlargement in pleading for the enlightening and
conversion of the poor Heathen. In the afternoon, God was with
me of a truth. O, it was blessed company indeed ! God enabled
me so to agonize in prayer, that I was quite wet with perspiration,
though in the shade, and the cool wind. My soul was drawn out
very much from the world, for multitudes of souls. I think I had
more enlargement for sinners, than for the children of God ;
though I felt as if I could spend my life in cries for both. I
enjoyed great sweetness in communion with my dear Saviour.
I think I never in my life felt such an entire weanedness from this
world, and so much resigned to God in every thing. Oh that I
may always live to and upon my blessed God ! Amen, Amen.

April 20. "This day, I am twenty-four years of age. O
how much mercy have I received the year past ! How often has
God caxtsed his goodness to puss before me! And how poorly have
I answered the vows I made this time twelve-month, to be wholly
the Lord's, to be forever devoted to his service ! The Lord help
me to live more to his glory for the time to come. This has been
a sweet, a happy day to me ; blessed be God. I think my soul
was never so drawn out in intercession for others, as it has been
this night. Had a most fervent wrestle with the Lord to-night
for my enemies; and I hardly ever so longed to live to God, and

MEMOIRS OF BRAIN ERD. 59

to be altogether devoted to him ; I wanted to wear out my life in
his service, and for his glory.

April 21. "Felt much calmness and resignation ; and God
again enabled me to wrestle for numbers of souls, and had much
fervency in the sweet duty of intercession. I enjoyed of late
more sweetness in intercession for others, than in any other part
of prayer. My blessed Lord really let me come near to him and
■plead with Aim."

The frame of mind, and exercises of soul, which he expresses
the three days next following, are much of the same kind, with
those expressed the two day's past.

Lord's day, April 25. "This morning, I spent about two
hours in secret duties, and was enabled, more than ordinarily, to
agonize for immortal souls; though it was early in the morning,
and the sun scarcely shined at all, yet my body was quite wet
with sweat. I felt much pressed,, now, as frequently of late, to
plead for the meekness and calmness of the Lamb of God in my
soul ; and through divine goodness, felt much of it this morning.
O it is a sweet disposition, heartily to forgive all injuries done us;
to wish our greatest enemies as well, as we do our own souls!
Blessed Jesus, may I daily be more and more conformed to thee!
At night, I was exceedingly melted with divine love, and had some
feeling sense of the blessedness of the upper world. Those
words hung upon me, with much divine sweetness, Psal. Ixxxiv.
7. They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion
appeareth before God. O the near access that God sometimes
gives us in our addresses to him! This may well be termed ap-
pearing before God: it is so indeed, in the true spiritual sense,
and in the sweetest sense. I think that I have not had such pow-
er of intercession these many months, both for God's children,
and for dead sinners, as I have had this evening. I wished and
longed for the coming of my dear Lord : I longed to join the an-
gelic hosts in praises, wholly free from imperfection. O, the
blessed moment hastens ! All I want is to be more holy, more
like my dear Lord. Oh for sanctification ! My very soul pants
for the complete restoration of the blessed image of my Saviour;
that I may be fit for the blessed enjoyments and employments of
the heavenly world.

"Farewell, vain world; my soul can bid Adieu :
"Your Saviour taught me to abandon you.
" Your charms may gratify a sensual mind ;
" But Gannot please a sou! for God design'd.

bo MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

" Forbear V entice, cease then my soul to cai! :
" 'Tis uVd through grace ; my God shall be my all.
" While he thus lets me heavenly glories view,
"Your beauties fade, my heart's no room for you."

" The Lord refreshed my soul with many sweet passages of
his word. O the New Jerusalem ! my soul longed for it. O the
song of Moses and the Lamb ! And that blessed song, that no
man can learn, but they who are redeemed from the earth ! and
the glorious ivhite robes, that were given to the souls under the
altar !

" Lord, I'm a stranger here alone ;
" Earth no true comforts can afford :
" Yet, absent from my dearest one,
" .My soul delights to cry < My Lord V
"Jesus, my Lord, my only love,
" Possess my soul, nor thence depart :
" Grant me kind visits, heavenly dove ;
"My God shall then have all my heart."

April 26. " Continued in | sweet frame of mind ; but in the
afternoon, felt somewhat of Spiritual pride stirring. God was
pleased to make it a humblirfiseason at first ; though afterwards
he gave me sweetness. O nW soul exceedingly longs for that
blessed state of perfect deliverance from all sin ! At night, God
enabled me to give my soul up to him, to cast myself upon him,
to be ordered and disposed of according to his sovereign pleas-
ure; and I enjoyed great peace and consolation in so doing. My
soul took sweet delight in God ; my thoughts freely and sweetly
centered in him. O that I could spend every moment of my
life to his glory!

April 27. "I retired pretty early for secret devotions; and in
prayer, God was pleased to pour such ineffable comforts into my
soul, that I could do nothing for some time but say over and over,
' O my sweet Saviour ! O my sweet Saviour ! whom have I in
Heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire be-
side thee.' If I had had a thousand lives, my soul would gladly
have laid them all down at once, to have been with Christ. My
soul never enjoyed so much of heaven before ; it was the most
refined and most spiritual season of communion with God, I ever
yet felt. I never felt so great a degree of resignation in my life.
In the afternoon, I withdrew, to meet with my God, but found my-
self much declined, and God made it a humbling season to my
soul. I mourned over the body of death that is in me. It grieved
me exceedingly, that I could not pray to and praise God with my
heart full of divine heavenly love. Oh that my soul might never
offer any dead, cold services to my God! In the evening had not

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 61

^o much divine love, as in the morning ; but had a sweet season
of fervent intercession.

April 28. "I withdrew to my usual place of retirement, in
great peace and tranquillity, spent about two hours in secret du-
ties, and felt much as I did yesterday morning, only weaker, and
more overcome. I seemed to depend wholly on my dear Lord ;
wholly weaned from all other dependences. I knew not what to
say to my God, but only lean on his bosom, as it were, and breathe
out my desires after a perfect conformity to him in all things.
Thirsting desires, and insatiable longings, possessed my soul after
perfect holiness. God was so precious to my soul, that the world,
with all its enjoyments, was infinitely vile. I had no more value
for the favour of men, than for pebbles. The Lord was my all,
and that he over-ruled all, greatly delighted me. I think that my
faith and dependence on God, scarce ever rose so high. I saw
him such a Fountain of goodness, that it seemed impossible I
should distrust him again, or be any way anxious about any thing
that should happen to me. I now enjoyed great sweetness in
praying for absent friends, and for the enlargement of Christ's
kingdom in the world. Much of the power of these divine en-
joyments remained with me through the day. In the evening,
my heart seemed to melt, and I trust was really humbled for in-
dwelling corruption, and I mourned like a dove. I felt that all my
unhappiness arose from my being a sinner. With resignation, I
could bid welcome to all other trials; but sin hung heavy upon
me ; for God discovered to me the corruption of my heart. I
went to bed with a heavy heart, because Itvas a sinner; though I
did not in the least doubt of God's love. O that God would
purge away my dross, and take away my tin, and make me ten
times refined !

April 29. " I was kept off at a distance from God ; — but had
some enlargement in intercession for precious souls.

April 30. " I was somewhat dejected in spirit : nothing grieves
me so much, as that t cannot live constantly to God's glory. I
could bear any desertion or spiritual conflicts, if I could but have
my heart all the while burning within me with love to God and
desires of -his glory. But this is impossible ; for when I feel
these, I cannot be dejected in my soul, but only rejoice in my
Saviour, who has delivered me from the reigning power, and will
shortly deliver me from the indwelling of sin.

May 1. "I was ^enabled to cry to God with fervency for min-
isterial qualifications, that he would appear for the advancement
of his own kingdom, antk that he would bring in the Heathen.
Had much assistance in my studies. This has been a profitable

G2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

week to me ; I have enjoyed many communications of the bless-
ed Spirit in my soul.

Lord's day, May 2. " God was pleased this morning to give
me such a sight of myself, as made me appear very vile in my
own eyes. I felt corruption stirring in my heart, which I could
by no means suppress ; felt more and more deserted ; was ex-
ceeding weak, and almost sick with my inward trials.

May 3. " Had a sense of vile ingratitude. In the morning i
withdrew to my usual place of retirement, and mourned for my
abuse of my dear Lord ; spent the day in fasting and prayer.
God gave me much power of wrestling for his cause and king-
dom ; and it was a happy day to my soul. God was with me all
the day ; and I was more above the world, than ever in my life."

Through the remaining part of this week, he complains almost
every day of desertion, inward trials and conflicts, attended with
dejection of spirit ; yet speaks of times of relief and sweetness,
and daily refreshing visits of the divine Spirit, affording special
assistance and comfort, and enabling him, at times, to enjoy much
fervency and enlargement in religious duties.

Lord's day, May 9. " I think I never felt so much of the curs-
ed pride o( my heart, as well as the stubbornness of my will be-
fore. O dreadful ! what a vile wretch I am! I could submit to
be nothing, and to lie down in the dust. Oh that God would
humble me in the dust ! I felt myself such a sinner, all day, that
I had scarce any comfort. Oh when shall I be delivered from the
body of this death ! I greatly feared, lest through stupidity and
carelessness I should lose the benefit of these trials. Oh that
they might be sanctified to my soul! Nothing seemed to touch
me but only this, that I was a sinner. — Had fervency and refresh-
ment in social prayer in the evening.

May 10. "I rode to New-Haven ; saw some christian friends
there; and had comfort in joining in prayer with them, and hear-
ing of the goodness of God to them, since I last saw them.

May 11. "I rode from New-Haven to Wethersfield ; was
very dull most of the day; had little spirituality in this journey,
though I often longed to be alone with God ; was much perplex-
ed with vile thoughts ; was sometimes afraid of every thing : but
God was my Helper. Catched a little time for retirement in the
evening, to my comfort and rejoicing. Alas! I cannot live in the
midst of a tumult. I long to enjoy God alone.

May 12. "I had a distressing view of the pride, enmity and
vileness of my heart. Afterwards had sweet refreshment in con-
versing and worshipping God, with Christian friends.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 63

May 1 3. " Saw so much of the wickedness of my heart, that I
longed to get away from myself. I never before thought that
there was so much spiritual pride in my soul. I felt almost press-
ed to death with my own vileness. O what a body of death is
there in me! Lord, deliver my soul! I could not find any con-
venient place for retirement, and was greatly exercised. Rode
to Hartford in the afternoon : had some refreshment and comfort
in religious exercises with Christian friends ; but longed for more
retirement. O the closest walk with God is the sweetest heaven
that can be enjoyed on earth !

May 14. "I waited on a council of ministers convened at
Hartford, and spread before them the treatment I had met with
from the rector and tutors of Yale College ; who thought it ad-
viseable to intercede for me with the rector and trustees, and to
intreat them to restore me to my former privileges in college.*
After this, spent some time in religious exercises with christian
friends.

May 15. "I rode from Hartford to Hebron ; was somewhat
dejected on the road ; appeared exceeding vile in my own eyes,
saw much pride and stubbornness in my heart. Indeed I never
saw such a week as this before ; for I have been almost ready to
die with the view of the wickedness of my heart. I could not
have thought I had such a body of death in me. Oh that God
would deliver my soul /"

The three next days (which he spent at Hebron, Lebanon, and
Norwich) he complains still of dulness and desertion, and express-
es a sense of his vileness, and longing to hide himself in some
cave or den of the earth : but yet speaks of some intervals of
comfort and soul-refreshment each day.

May 19. " (At Millington) I was so amazingly deserted this
morning, that I seemed to feel a sort of horror in my soul. Alas !
when God withdraws, what is there that can afford any comfort
to the soul!"

Through the eight days next following, he expresses more
calmness and comfort, and considerable life, fervency, and sweet
ness in religion.

May 28. " (At New-Haven) I think I scarce ever felt so calm
in my life; I rejoiced in resignation, and giving myself up to God,
to be wholly and entirely devoted to him for ever."

*
cess

The application, which was then made -on "his behalf, 'had not the<te?irea sue

64 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

On the three following days, there was, by the account he
gives, a continuance of the same excellent frame of mind, last ex-
pressed : but it seems not to be altogether to so great a degree.

June 1. " Had much of the presence of God in family prayer,
and had some comfort in secret. I was greatly refreshed from
the word of God this morning, which appeared exceedingly sweet
to me : some things which appeared mysterious, were opened to
me. Oh that the kingdom of the dear Saviour might come with
power, and the healing waters of the sanctuary spread far and
wide for the healing of the nations ! — Came to Ripton ; but was
very weak. However, being visited by a number of young peo-
ple in the evening, I prayed with them."

The remaining part of this week, he speaks of being much di-
verted and hindered in the business of religion, by great weak-
ness of body, and necessary affairs, to which he had to attend; and
complains of having but little power in religion ; but observes,
that God hereby shewed him, that he was like a helpless infant
cast out in the open field.

Lord's day. June 6. " I feel much deserted : but all this teach-
es me my nothingness and vileness more than ever.

June 7. " Felt still powerless in secret prayer. Afterwards I
prayed and conversed with some little life. God feeds me with
crumbs : blessed be his name for any thing. I felt a great desire
that all God's people might know how mean and little and vile I
am \ that they might see I am nothing, that so they may pray for
me aright, and not have the least dependence upon me.

June 8. " I enjoyed one sweet and precious season this day: I
never felt it so sweet to be nothing, and less than nothing, and to
be accounted nothing."

The three next days he complains of desertion, and want of fer-
vency in religion ; but yet his diary shews that every day his heart
was engaged in religion, as his great, and, as it were, only busi-
ness.

June 12. " Spent much time in prayer this morning, and en-
joyed much sweetness : — Felt insatiable longings after God much
of the day. I wondered how poor souls do to live, that have- no
God. The world, with all its enjoyments, quite vanished. I see
myself very helpless : but I have a blessed God to go to. 1 long-
ed exceedingly to be dissolved, and to be with Christ, to behold his
glory. O my weak, weary soul longs to arrive at my Father's
house !

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 65

Lord's day, June 13. "Felt somewhat calm and resigned in
the public worship : at the sacrament saw myself very vile and
worthless. Oh that 1 may always lie low in the dust. My soul
seemed steadily to go forth after God, in longing desires to live
upon him.

June, 14. " Felt somewhat of the sweetness of communion with
God, and the constraining force of his love ; how admirably it
captivates the soul, and makes all the desires and affections to
centre in God ! — I set apart this day for secret fasting and prayer,
to intreat God to direct and bless me with regard to the great
work which I have in view, of preaching the gospel — and that the
Lord would return to me, and shezo me the light of his countenance.
Had little life and power in the forenoon: near the middle of the
afternoon, God enabled me to wrestle ardently in intercession for
my absent friends : but just at night, the Lord visited me marvel-
lously in prayer. I think my soul never was in such an agony
before. I felt no restraint ; for the treasures of divine grace
were opened to me. I wrestled for absent friends, for the ingath-
ering of souls, for multitudes of poor souls, and for many that I
thought were the children of God, personally, in many distant
places. I was in such an agony, from sun half an hour high, till
near dark, that I was all over wet with sweat : but yet it seemed
to me that I had wasted away the day, and had done nothing. O
my dear Saviour did sweat blood for poor souls ! I longed for
more compassion towards them. Felt still in a sweet frame, un-
der a sense of divine love and grace ; and went to bed in such a
frame, with my heart set on God.

June 15. " Had the most ardent longings after God, which I
ever felt in my life. At noon, in my secret retirement, I could do
nothing but tell my dear Lord, in a sweet calm, that he knew 1
desired nothing but himself, nothing but holiness; that he had
given me these desires, and he only could give me the thing de-
sired. I never seemed to be so unhinged from myself and to be
so wholly devoted to God. My heart was swallowed up in God
most of the day. In the evening I had such a view of the soul
being as it were enlarged, to contain more holiness, that it seem-
ed ready to separate from my body. I then wrestled in an agony
for divine blessings ; had my heart drawn out in prayer for some
Christian friends, beyond what I ever had before. I feel differ-
ently now from what I ever did under any enjoyments before ;
more engaged to live to God for ever, and less pleased with my
own frames. I am not satisfied with my frames, nor feel at all
more easy after such struggling^ than before ; for it seems far too
little, if I could always be so. O how short do I fall of my duty
in my sweetest moments !"

66 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

In his diary for the two next days, he expresses somewhat of
the same frame, but in a far less dfegree.*

June 18. " Considering my great unfitness for the work of the
ministry, my present deadness, and total inability to do any thing
for the glory of God that way, feeling myself very helpless, and at
a great loss what the Lord would have me to do ; I set apart thi«
day for prayer to God, and spent most of the day in that duty, but
amazingly deserted most of the day. Yet I found God gracious-
ly near, once in particular; while" I was pleading for more com-
passion for immortal souls, my heart seemed to be opened at
once, and I was enabled to cry with great ardency, for a few min-
utes. O I was distressed to think, that I should offer such dead
cold services to the living God! My soul seemed to breathe af-
ter holiness, a life of constant devotedness to God. But I am al-
most lost sometimes in the pursuit of this blessedness, and ready
to sink, because I continually fall short, and miss of mv desire.
Oh that the Lord would help me to hold out, yet a little while, un-
til the happy hour of deliverance comes !

June 19. ' Felt much disordered ; my spirits were very low :
but yet enjoyed some freedom and sweetness in the duties of re-
ligion. Blessed be God.

Lord's day, June 20. " Spent much time alone. My soul ear-
nestly wished to be holy, and reached after God ; but seemed not
to obtain my desire. I hungered and thirsted; but was not re-
freshed and satisfied. My soul rested on God, as my only por-
tion. Oh that I could grow in grace more abundantly every
day !"

The next day he speaks of his having assistance in his studies,
.- tfnd power, fervency, and comfort in prayer.

-4 June 22. " In the morning spent about two hours in prayer
a*d meditation, with considerable delight. Towards night felt
my soul go out in earnest desires after God, in secret retirement.
In the evening, was sweetly composed and resigned to God's will;
was enabled to leave myself and all my concerns with him, and
to have my whole dependence upon him. Mv secret retirement
was very refreshing to my soul ; it appeared such a happiness to
have God for my portion, that I had rather be any other creature
«n this lower creation, than not come to the enjoyment of God.

* Here end the thirty first pages of the third volume of his diary, which he speaks
of in the beginning of this volume, (as observed before) as containing a specimen of
ins ordinary manner of living, through the whole space of time, from the be-innin-
of those two volumes that were destroyed. D

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 67

i had rather be a beast, than a man, without God, if I were to live
here to eternity. Lord, endear thyself more to me !

In his ^.iary for the next seven days, he expresses a variety of ex-
ercises of mind. He speaks of great longings after God and holi-
ness, and earnest desires for the conversion of others; of ferven-
cy in prayer, power to wrestle with God, composure, comfort, and
sweetness, from time to time ; but expresses a sense of the abom-
ination of his heart, and bitterly complains of his barrenness, and
the body of death ; and says, " he saw clearly that whatever he
enjoyed, better than hell, was of free grace." He complains of
falling much below the character of a child of God ; and is some-
times very disconsolate and dejected.

June 30. " Spent this day alone in the woods, in fasting and
prayer; underwent the most dreadful conflicts in my soul, which
I ever felt, in some respects. I saw myself so vile, that 1 was
ready to say, ' I shall now perish by the hand of Saul.' 1 thought
that I had no power to stand for the cause of God, but was al-
most ' afraid of the shaking of a leaf.' Spent almost the whole
day in prayer, incessantly. I could not bear to think of Chris-
tians shewing me any respect. I almost despaired of doing any
service in the world : 1 could not feel any hope or comfort re-
specting the heathen, which used to afford me some refreshment
in the darkest hours of this nature. I spent the day in bitterness
of soul. Near night I felt a little better ; and afterwards enjoy-
ed some sweetness in secret prayer.

July 1. " Had some enjoyment in prayer this morning ; and
far more than usual in secret prayer to-night, and desired nothing
so ardently as that God shoidd do with me just as he pleased.

July 2. " Felt composed in secret prayer in the morning. —
My desires ascended to God this day, as I was travelling : and
was comfortable in the evening. Blessed be God for all my con-
solations.

July 3. " My heart seemed again to sink. The disgrace I
was laid under at College, seemed to damp me ; as it opens the
mouths of opposers. I had no refuge but in God. Blessed be
his name, that I may go to him at all times, and trnd^him a present
help.

Lord's day, July 4. " Had considerable assistance. In the
evening I withdrew, and enjoyed a happy season in secret prayer.
God was pleased to give me the exercise of faith, and thereby
brought the invisible and eternal world near to my soul ; which
appeared sweetly to me. I hoped, that my weary pilgrimage in

68 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD

the world would be short ; and that it would not be long before
I was brought to my heavenly home and Father's house. I was
resigned to God's will, to tarry his time, to do his work, and suf-
fer his pleasure. I felt thankfulness to God for all my pressing
desertions of late ; for I am persuaded that they have been made
a means of making me more humble, and much more resigned.
I felt pleased to be little, to be nothing, and to lie in the dust. I
enjoyed life and consolation in pleading for the dear children of
God, and the kingdom of Christ in the world : and my soul ear-
nestly breathed after holiness, and the enjoyment of God. O come,
Lord Jesus, come quickly.''''

By his diary for the remaining days of this week, it appears that
he enjoyed considerable composure and tranquillity, and had
sweetness and fervency of spirit in prayer, from day to day.

Lord's day, July 11. " Was deserted, and exceedingly deject-
ed in the morning. In the afternoon, had some life and assistance,
and felt resigned. I saw myself to be exceeding vile."

On the two next days he expresses inward comfort, resignation,
and strength in God.

July 14. " Felt a degree of humble resigned sweetness : spent
a considerable time in secret, giving myself up wholly to the
Lord. Heard Mr. Bellamy preach towards night ; felt very
sweetly part of the time : longed for nearer access to God."

The four next days, he expresses considerable comfort and fer-
vency of spirit, in Christian conversation and religious exercises.

July 19. " My desires seem especially to be after weaned-
ness from the world, perfect deadness to it, and that I may be cru-
cified to all its allurements. My soul desires to feel itself more of
a pilgrim and stranger here below ; that nothing may divert me
from pressing through the lonely desart, till I arrive at my Fa-
ther's house.

July 20. " It was sweet to give away myself to God, to be dis-
posed of at his pleasure. I had some feeling sense of the sweet-
ness of being & pilgrim on earth."

The next day, he expresses himself as determined to be wholly
devoted to God ; and it appears by his diary, that he spent the
whole day in a most diligent exercise of religion, and with great
comfort.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 69

July 22. " Journeying from Southbury to Ripton, I called at
a house by the way, where being very kindly entertained and
refreshed, I was filled with amazement and shame, that God
should stir up the hearts of any to shew so much kindness to such
a dead dog as I; was made sensible, in some measure, how ex-
ceeding vile it is not to be wholly devoted to God. I wondered
that God would suffer any of his creatures to feed and sustain me
from time to time."

In his diary for the six next days, are expressed various exercis-
es and experiences, such as, sweet composure and fervency of
spirit in meditation and prayer, weanedness from the world, being
sensibly a pilgrim and stranger on the earth, engagedness of mind
to spend every moment of time for God, &c.

July 29. " I was examined by the Association met at Danbury,
as to my learning, and also my experience in religion, and received
a licence from them to preach the gospel of Christ. Afterwards
felt much devoted to God ; joined in prayer with one of the min-
isters, my peculiar friend, in a convenient place ; and went to
bed resolving to live devoted to God all my days."

CHAPTER 111.

From his Licensure, till his Examination and Commission as a Mis-
sionary.

July 30, 1742. " Rode from Danbury to Southbury ; preach-
ed there, from 1 Pet. iv\ 8. And above all things have fervent
charity, &tc. Had much of the comfortable presence of God in
the exercise. I seemed to have power with God in prayer, and
power to get hold of the hearts of the people in preaching.

July 31. "I was calm and composed, as well as greatly re-
freshed and encouraged."

It appears by his diary, that he continued in this sweetness and
tranquillity, almost through the whole of the next week.

Lord's day, Aug. 8. "In the morning I felt comfortably in
secret prayer; my soul was refreshed with the hopes of the
Heathen coming home to Christ; was much resigned to God, and
thought it was no matter what became of me. — Preached both
parts of the day at Bethlehem, from Job. xiv. 14. If a man die,
shall he live again, he. It was sweet to me to meditate on death.
In the evening, felt very comfortably, and cried to God fervently
in secret prayer."

It appears by his diary, that he continued through the three next
days, engaged with all his might in the business of religion, and
in almost a constant enjoyment of its comforts.

Aug. 12. "This morning and last night I was exercised with
sore inward trials: I had no power to pray: but seemed shut out
from God. I had in a great measure lost my hopes of God's send-
ing me among the Heathen afar off, and of seeing them flock
home to Christ. I saw so much of my vileness, that I wondered
that God would let me live, and that people did not stone me ;
much more that they would ever hear me preach ! It seemed as
though I never could nor should preach any more ; yet about
nine or ten o'clock, the people came over, and I was forced to
preach. And blessed be God, he gave me his presence and
Spirit in prayer and preaching : so that I was much assisted, and

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 71

spake with power from Job xiv. 14. Some Indians cried out in
great distress,* and all appeared greatly concerned. After we
had prayed and exhorted them to seek the Lord with constancy,
and hired an English woman to keep a kind of school among them,
we came away about one o'clock, and came to Judea, about
fifteen or sixteen miles. There God was pleased to visit my
soul with much comfort. Blessed be the Lord for all things I
meet with."

It appears that the two next days he had much comfort, and
had his heart much engaged in religion.

Lord's day, Aug. 15. "Felt much comfort and devotedness
to God this day. At night, it was refreshing to get alone with
God, and pour out my soul. Oh, who can conceive of the sweet-
ness of communion with the blessed God, but those who have
experience of it ! Glory to God for ever, that I may taste heav-
en below.

Aug. 16. "Had some comfort in secret prayer, in the morn-
ing.— Felt sweetly sundry times in prayer this day: but was much
perplexed in the evening with vain conversation.

Aug. 17. "Exceedingly depressed in spirit, it cuts and wounds
my heart, to think how much self-exaltation, spiritual pride, and
warmth of temper, I have formerly had intermingled with my en-
deavours to promote God's work : and sometimes I long to lie
down at the feet of opposers, and confess what a poor imperfect
creature I have been, and still am. The Lord forgive me, and
make me for the future wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove!
Afterwards enjoyed considerable comfort and delight of soul.

Aug. 18. " Spent most of this day in prayer and reading. —
I see so much of my own extreme vileness, that I feel ashamed
and guilty before God and man ; I look to myself like the vilest
fellow in the land : I wonder that God stirs up his people to be so
kind to me.

Aug. 19. "This day, being about to go from Mr. Bellamy's
at Bethlehem, where I had resided some time, I prayed with him.
and two or three other Christian friends. We gave' ourseives to
God with all our hearts, to be his for ever: eternity looked very
near to me, while I was praying. If I never should see these
Christians again in this world, it seemed but a few moments before
I should meet them in another world.

*It was in a place near Kent, in the western borders of Connecticut, wh=r« thfr-
is a number ot Indians. '

72 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Aug. 20. "I appeared so vile to myself, that I hardly dared
to think of being seen, especially on account of spiritual pride.
However, to-night I enjoyed a sweet hour alone with God, (at
Ripton:) I was lifted above the frowns and flatteries of this lower
world, had a sweet relish of heavenly joys, and my soul did, as
it were, get into the eternal world, and really taste of heaven.
I had a sweet season of intercession for dear friends in Christ ;
and God helped me to cry fervently for Zion. Blessed be God for
this season.

Aug. 21. " Was much perplexed in the morning. — Towards
noon enjoyed more of God in secret ; was enabled to see that it
was best to throw myself into the hands of God, to be disposed of
according to his pleasure, and rejoiced in such thoughts. In the
afternoon rode to New-Haven; was much confused all the way. —
Just at night, underwent such a dreadful conflict as I have scarce
ever felt. I saw myself exceeding vile and unworthy ; so that I
was guilty, and ashamed that any body should bestow any favour
on me, or shew me any respect.

Lord^s day, Aug, 22. " In the morning, continued still in per-
plexity.— In the evening enjoyed comfort sufficient to overbalance
all my late distresses. I saw that God is the only soul-satisfying
portion, and I really found satisfaction in him. My soul was
much enlarged in sweet intercession for my fellow-men every
where, and for many Christian friends in particular, in distant
places.

Aug. 23. " Had a sweet season in secret prayer : the Lord
drew near to my soul, and filled me with peace and divine conso-
lation. Oh, my soul tasted the sweetness of the upper world ; and
was drawn out in prayer for the world, that it might come home
to Christ ! Had much comfort in the thoughts and hopes of the
ingathering of the Heathen ; was greatly assisted in intercession
for Christian friends."

He continued still in the same frame of mind the next day, but
in a less degree.

Aug. 25. " In family prayer, God helped me to climb up near
him, so that I scarce ever got nearer."

The four next days he appears to have been the subject of de-
sertioiJ, and of comfort and fervency in religion, interchangeably,
together with a sense of vileness and unprofitableness.

Aug. 30. "Felt somewhat comfortably in the morning; con-
versed sweetlv with some friends: was in a serious composed

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 73

frame ; and prayed at a certain house with some degree of sweet-
ness. Afterwards, at another house, prayed privately with a
dear Christian friend or two ; and, I think, 1 scarce ever launched
so far into the eternal world as then; I got so far out on the broad
ocean, that my soul with joy triumphed over all the evils on the
shores of mortality. I think, time, and all its gay amusements
and cruel disappointments, never appeared so inconsiderable to
me before. I was in a sweet frame ; I saw myself nothing, and
my soul reached after God with intense desire. Oh, I saw what
1 owed to God, in such a manner, as I scarce ever did ! I knew
that I had never lived a moment to him as I should do ; indeed,
it appeared to me, that I had never done any thing in Christiani-
ty : my soul longed with a vehement desire to live to God. — In the
evening, sung and prayed with a number of Christians : felt the
poivers of the world to come in my soul, in prayer. Afterwards
prayed again privately, with a dear Christian or two, and found
the presence of God ; was somewhat humbled in my secret re-
tirement : felt my ingratitude, because I was not wholly swallow-
ed up in God."

He was in a sweet frame great part of the next day.

Sept. 1. "Went to Judea, to the ordination of Mr. Judd.
Mr. Bellamy preached from Matt. xxiv. 46. " Blessed is that ser-
vant," &c. I felt very solemn most of the time ; had my thoughts
much on that time when our Lord will come; that time refreshed
my soul much ; only I was afraid I should not be found faithful,
because I have so vile a heart. My thoughts were much in eter-
nity, where I love to dwell. Blessed be God for this solemn sea-
son.— Rode home to night withe-Mr. Bellamy, conversed with
some friends till it was very late, and then retired to rest in a
comfortable frame.

Sept. 2. "About two in the afternoon, I preached from John
vi. 67. Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?
and God assisted me in some comfortable degree ; but more es-
pecially in my first prayer ; my soul seemed then to launch quite
into the eternal world, and to be as it were, separated from this
lower world. Afterwards preached again from Isa. v. 4. What
could have been done more, &c. God gave me some assistance ;
but I saw myself a poor worm."

On Friday, Sept. 3. He complains cf having but little life in
the things of God, the former part of the day, but afterwards
speaks of sweetness and enlargement.

U MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Sept. 4. Much out of health, exceedingly depressed in my
soul, and at awful distance from God. Towards night, spent some
time in profitable thoughts on Rom. viii. 2. For the law of the
spirit of life, &c. Near night, had a very sweet season in prayer;
Cod enabled me to wrestle ardently for the advancement of the
Redeemer's kingdom; pleaded earnestly for my own dear broth-
er John, that God would make him more of a pilgrim and stran-
ger on the earth, and fit him for singular serviceableness in the
world : and my heart sweetly exulted in the Lord, in the thoughts
of any distresses that might alight on him or on me, in the ad-
\ ancement of Christ's kingdom. It was a sweet and comfortable
hour unto my soul, while I was indulged with freedom to plead,
not only for myself, but also for many other souls.

Lord's day, Sept. 5. "Preached all day: was somewhat
strengthened and assisted in the afternoon; more especially in the
evening : had a sense of my unspeakable failures in all my duties.
I found, alas! that I had never lived to God in my life.

Sept. 6. "Was informed, that they only waited for an oppor-
tunity to apprehend me for preaching at New-Haven lately, that
so they might imprison me. This made me more solemn and se-
rious, and "to quit all hopes of the world's friendship : it brought
me to a further sense of my vileness, and just desert of this, and
much more, from the hand of God, though not from the hand of
man. Retired into a convenient place in the woods, and spread
the matter before God.

Sept. 7. "Had some relish of divine things, in the morning.
Afterwards felt more barren and melancholy. Rode to New-Ha-
ven to a friend's house, at a distance from the town ; that I might
remain undiscovered, and yet have opportunity to do business
privately, with friends which come to commencement.

Sept. 8. " Felt very sweetly, when I first rose in the morning.
In family prayer, had some enlargement, but not much spirituali-
ty, till eternity came up before me, and looked near; I found
some sweetness in the thoughts of bidding a dying farewell to
this tiresome world. Though sometime ago I reckoned upon
seeing my dear friends at commencement; yet being now denied
the opportunity, for fear of imprisonment, I felt totally resigned,
and as contented to spend this day alone in the woods, as I could
have done, if I had been allowed to go to town. Felt exceed-
ingly weaned from the world to-day. In the afternoon, I dis-
coursed on divine things, with a dear christian friend, whereby
we were both refreshed. Then I prayed, with a sweet sense of
the blessedness of communion with God : I think I scarce ever
enjoyed more of God in any one prayer. O it was a blessed sea

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 75

son indeed to my soul ! I know not that ever T saw so much of my
own nothingness, in my life ; never wondered so, that God al-
lowed me to preach his word. This has been a sweet and com-
fortable day to my soul. Blessed be God. Prayed again with
my dear friend, with something of the divine presence. I long
to be wholly conformed to God, and transformed into his image.

Sept. 9. " Spent much of the day alone : enjoyed the pres-
ence of God in som$ comfortable degree : was visited by some
dear friends, and prayed with them : wrote sundry letters to
friends : felt religion in my soul while writing : enjoyed sweet
meditations on some scr-iptures. In the evening, went very pri-
vately into town, from the place of my residence at the farms, and
conversed with some dear friends; felt sweetly in singing hymns
with them : and made my escape to the farms again, without be-
ing discovered by any enemies, as I knew of. Thus the Lord
preserves me continually.

Sept. 10. " Longed with intense desire after God ; my whole
soul seemed impatient to be conformed to him, and to become
" holy, as4*e is holy." In the afternoon, prayed with a dear
friend privately, and had the presence of God with us; our souls
united together to reach after a blessed immortality, to be un-
clothed of the body of sin and death, and to enter the blessed
world, where no unclean thing enters. O, with what intense de-
sire did our souls long for that blessed day, that we might be freed
from sin, and and for ever live to and in our God ! In the eve-
ning, took leave of that house ; but first kneeled down and pray-
ed ; the Lord was of a truth in the midst of us ; it was a sweet
parting season ; felt in myself much sweetness and affection in
the things of God. Blessed be- God for every such divine gale
of his Spirit, to speed me on in my way to the new Jerusalem !
Felt some sweetness afterwards, and spent the evening in conver-
sation with friends, and prayed with some life, and retired to rest
very late."

The jive next days, he appears to have been in an exceeding-
ly comfortable frame of mind, for the most part, and to have been
the subject of the like heavenly exercises as are often expressed
in preceding passages of his diary; such as, having his heart
much engaged for God, wrestling with him in prayer with power
and ardency ; enjoying at times sweet calmness and composure
of mind, giving himself up to God to be his forever, with great
complacence of mind ; being wholly resigned to the will of God,
that he might do with him what he pleased ; longing to improve
time, having the eternal world, as it were, brought nigh ; longing

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

after God and holiness, earnestly desiring a complete conformity
to him, and wondering how poor souls do to exist without God.

Sept. 16. "At night, enjoyed much of God, in secret prayer:
felt an uncommon resignation, to be and do what God pleased.
Some days past, I felt great perplexity on account of my past
conduct: my bitterness, and want of christian kindness and love,
has been very distressing to my soul: the Lord forgive me my
unchristian warmth, and want of a spirit of meekness !

The next d«y, he speaks of much resignation, calmness, and
peace of mind, and near views of the eternal world.

Sept. 1 8. " Felt some compassion for souls, and mourned that I
had no more. I feel much more kindness, meekness, gentleness,
and love towards all mankind, than ever. I long to be at the feet
of my enemies and persecutors: enjoyed some sweetness, in feel-
ing my soul conformed to Christ Jesus, and given away to him
for ever.

The next day, he speaks of much dejection and discourage-
ment, from an apprehension of his own unfitness, ever to do any
good in preaching; but blesses God for all dispensations of provi-
dence and grace; finding that by all God weaned him more from
the world, and made him more resigned.

The next ten days, he appears to have been for the most part
under great degrees of melancholy, exceedingly dejected and
discouraged: speaks of his being ready to give up all forgone
respecting the cause of Christ, and exceedingly longing to die :
yet had some sweet seasons and intervals of comfort, and special
assistance and enlargement in the duties of religion, and in per-
forming public services, and considerable success in them.

Sept. 30. " Still very low in spirits; I did not know how to
engage in any work or business, especially to correct some disorders
among christians; felt as though I had no power to be faithful in that
regard. However, towards noon, I preached from Deut. viii. 2.
. iiul thou shaft remember, &c. and was enabled with freedom to re-
prove some things in Christians' conduct, I thought very unsuita-
ble and irregular; insisted near two hours on this subject."

Through this and the two following xoeeks, he passed through
a variety of exercises : he was frequently dejected, and felt in-
ward distresses: and sometimes sunk into the depths of melan-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 77

choiy : at which turns he was not exercised about the state of his
soul, with regard to the favour of God, and his interest in Christ,
but about his own sinful infirmities, and unfitness for God's ser-
vice. His mind appears sometimes extremely depressed and
sunk, with a sense of inexpressible vileness. But in the mean
time, he speaks of many seasons of comfort, and spiritual re-
freshment, wherein his heart was encouraged and strengthened in
God, and sweetly resigned to his will ; of some seasons of very
high degrees of spiritual consolation, and of his great longings af-
ter holiness, and conformity to God ; of his great fear of offend-
ing God, and of his heart being sweetly melted in religious duties ;
of his longing for the advancement of Christ's kingdom, of his
having at times much assistance in preaching, and of remarkable
effects on the audience.

LoroVs day, Oct. 17. "Had a considerable sense of my help-
lessness and inability ; saw that I must be dependent on God for
all I want; and especially when I went to the place of public
worship. I found I could not speak a word for God, without his
special help and assistance. I went into the assembly trembling,
as I frequently do, under a sense of my insufficiency to do any
thing in the cause of God, as I ought to do. But it pleased God
to afford me much assistance, and there seemed to be a consider-
able effect on the hearers. In the evening, I felt a disposition to
praise God, for his goodness to me, that he had enabled me in
some measure to be faithful ; and my soul rejoiced to think, that
I had thus performed the work of one day more, and was one day
nearer my eternal, and I trust my heavenly home. Oh that I
may be " faithful to the death, fulfilling as an hireling my day,"
till the shades of the evening of life shall free my soul from the
toils of the day ! This evening, in secret prayer, I felt exceeding-
ly solemn, and such longing desires after deliverance from sin, and
after conformity to God, as melted my heart. O I longed to be
" delivered from this body of death !" I felt inward, pleasing
pain, that I could not be conformed to God entirely, fully, and
forever. I scarce ever preach without being first visited with in-
ward conflicts, and sore trials. Blessed be the Lord for these tri-
als and distresses, as they are blessed for my humbling.

Oct. 18. "In the morning, I felt some sweetness, but still
pressed through trials of soul. My life is a constant mixture
of consolations and conflicts, and will be so till 1 arrive at the
world of spirits.

Oct. 19. "This morning, and last night, I felt a sweet long-
ing in my soul after holiness. My soul seemed so to reach and

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

stretch tow aids the mark of perfect sanctity, that it was ready to
break with kmgiogs.

Oct. 20. " Verj infirm in body, exercised with much pain,
and very lifeless in divine things. Felt a little sweetness in the
evening.

Oct. 21. " Had a very deep sense of the vanity of the world,
most of the day ; had little more regard to it, than if I had been
to tio into eternity the next hour. Through divine goodness, I
felt \ en >erious and solemn. O, / love to live on the brink of eter-
nity, in my views and meditations ! This gives me a sweet, awful,
and reverential sense and apprehension of God and divine things,
when 1 see myself as it were, standing before the judgment seat of
( ist.

Oct. 22. i- Uncommonly weaned from the world to-day: my
soul delighted to be a stranger and pilgrim on the earthy I felt a
disposition in me never to have any thing to do with this world.
The character given of some of the ancient people of God, in
Heb. xi. 13, was very pleasing to me, " They confessed that they
were pilgrim? and strangers on the earth," by their daily prac-
tice; and Oh that I could always do so! Spent some considera-
ble time in a pleasant grove, in prayer and meditation. Oh it is
sweet, to be thus weaned from friends, and from myself, and dead
to the present world, that so I may live wholly to and upon the
blessed God ! Saw myself little, low, and vile in myself. In the
afternoon, preached at Bethlehem, from Deut. viii. 2. God
helped me to speak to the hearts of dear christians. Blessed be
the Lord for this season : I trust they and I shall rejoice on this
account, to all eternity. Dear Mr. Bellamy came in, while I was
making the first prayer, (being returned home from a journey ;)
and after meeting, we walked away together, and spent the eve-
ning in sweetly conversing on divine things, and praying togeth-
er, with sweet and tender love to each other, and retired to
rest with our hearts in a serious spiritual frame.

Oct. 23. ''Somewhat perplexed and confused. Rode this
daj from Bethlehem to Simsbury.

Lor&s day, Oct. 24. "Felt so vile and unworthy, that I
scarce knew how to converse with human creatures.

Oct. 25. "[At Turkey Hills.] In the evening, I enjoyed the
divine presence, in secret prayer. It was a sweet and comforta-
ble season to me; my soul longed for the living God: enjoyed a
sweet solemnity of spirit, and longing desire after the recovery
of the divine image in my soul. 'Then shall I be satisfied when
I shall awake in God's likeness,' and never before.

Oct. 26. - [At West Suffield.J Underwent the most dreadful
distresses, under a sense of my own unworthiness. It seemed to

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 79

ine, that I deserved rather to be driven out of the place, than to
have any body treat me with any kindness, or come to hear me
preach. And verily my spirits were so depressed at this time,
(as at many others.) that it was impossible I should treat immortal
souls with faithfulness. I could not deal closely and faithfully
with them, I felt so infinitely vile in myself. O what dust and
ashes I am, to think of preaching the gospel to others ! Indeed, T
never can be faithful for one moment, but shall certainly " daub
with untempered mortar," if God do not grant me special help.
In the evening, I went to the meeting house, and it looked to me
near as easy for one to rise out of the grave and preach, as for me.
However, God afforded me some life and power, both in prayer
and sermon ; and was pleased to lift me up, and shew me that he
could enable me to preach. O the wonderful goodness of God,
to so vile a sinner! Returned to my quarters ; and enjoyed some
sweetness in prayer alone, and mourned that 1 could not live
more to God.

Oct. 27. " I spent the forenoon in prayer and meditation ;
was not a little concerned about preaching in the afternoon ; felt
exceedingly without strength, and very helpless indeed ; and went
into the meeting-house, ashamed to see any come to hear such
an unspeakably worthless wretch. However, God enabled me
to speak with clearness, power, and pungency. But there was
some noise and tumult in the assembly, that 1 did not well like ;
and I endeavoured to bear public testimony against it with mode-
ration and mildness, through the current of my discourse. In
the evening, was enabled to be in some measure thankful, and de-
voted to God."

The frames and exercises of his mind, during the four next days%
were similar to those of the two days past; except intervals of
considerable degrees of divine peace and consolation.

The things expressed within the space of the three follozoing
days, are such as these : some seasons of dejection, mourning
for being so destitute of the exercises of grace, longing to be de-
livered from sin, pressing after more knowledge of God, seasons
of sweet consolation, precious and intimate converse with God
in secret prayer, sweetness of christian conversation, &c. With-
in this time, he rode from Suffield, to Eastbury, Hebron, and
Lebanon.

JVbv. 4. " [At Lebanon.] Saw much of my nothingness
most of this day : but felt concerned that I had no more sense of
my insufficiency and unworthiness. O it is sweet lying in the
dust! But it is distressing to feel in my soul that hell of corrup-

80 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

tion, which still remains in me. In the afternoon, had a sense
of the sweetness of a strict, close, and constant devotedness to
God, and my soul was comforted with his consolations. My soul
felt a pleasing, vet painful concern, lest 1 should spend some mo-
ments without God. O may I always live to God! In the eve-
ning, I was visited by some friends, and spent the time in pray-
er, and such conversation as tended to our edification. It was a
comfortable season to my soul : I felt an intense desire to spend
every moment for God. God is unspeakably gracious to me con-
tinually. In times past, he has given me inexpressible sweetness
in the performance of duty. Frequently my soul has enjoyed
much of God ; but has been ready to say, " Lord, it is good to be
here ;" and so to indulge sloth, while I have lived on the sweet-
ness of my feelings. But of late, God has been pleased to keep
my soul hungry, almost continually ; so that I have been filled
with a kind of pleasing pain. When I really enjoy God, I fee!
my desires of him the more insatiable, and my thirstings after ho-
liness the more unquenchable ; and the Lord will not allow me
to feel as though I were fully supplied and satisfied, but keeps
me still reaching forward. I feel barren and empty, as though
I could not live, without more of God ; I feel ashamed and guilty
before him. I see that " (he law is spiritual, but I am carnal." I
do not, I cannot live to God. Oh for holiness! Oh for more of
God in my soul! Oh this pleasing pain! It makes my soul press
after God; the language of it is, " Then shall I be satisfied, when
I awake in God's likeness," but never, never before : and con-
sequently, I am engaged to " press towards the mark," day by
day. Oh that I may feel this continual hunger, and not be re-
tarded, but rather animated by every cluster from Canaan, to
reach forward in the narrow way, for the full enjoyment and pos-
session of the heavenly inheritance ! Oh that I may never loiter
in my heavenly journey!"

These insatiable desires after God, and holiness, continued the
two jiext days, with a great sense of his own exceeding unworthi-
ness, and the nothingness of the things of this world.

Lord's day, Nov. 7. "[At Millington.] It seemed as if such
an unholy wretch as I, never could arrive at that blessedness, to
be "holy, as God is holy." At noon, I longed for sanctification,
and conformity to God. O that is the all, the all. The
Lord help me to press after God for ever.

Nov. 8. " Towards night, enjoyed much sweetness in secret
prayer, so that my soul longed for an arrival in the heavenly coun-
try, the blessed paradise of God. Through divine goodness, I

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 81

have scarce seen the day for two months, in which death has not
looked so pleasant to me, at one time or other of the day, that I
could have rejoiced that the present should be my last, notwith-
standing my present inward trials and conflicts. I trust, the
Lord will finally make me a conqueror, and more than a conquer-
or; and that I shall be able to use that triumphant language, " O
death where is thy sting!" And, "O grave, where is thy vic-
tory !"

Within the next ten days, the following things are expressed :
longing and wrestling to be holy, and to live to God; a desire that
every single thought might be for God; feeling guilty, that his
thoughts were no more swallowed up in God : sweet solemnity
and calmness of mind ; submission and resignation to God ; great
weanedness from the world; abasement in the dust; grief at
some vain conversation that was observed; sweetness from time
to time in secret prayer, and in conversing and praying with
Christian friends. And every day he appears to have been great-
ly engaged in the great business of religion, and living to God,
without interruption.

Nov. 19. "[At New-Haven.] Received a letter from the
Reverend Mr. Pemberton, of New- York, desiring me speedily
to go down thither, and consult about the Indian affairs in those
parts ; and to meet certain gentlemen there who were intrusted
with those affairs. My mind was instantly seized with concern ;
so I retired with two or three Christian friends, and prayed; and
indeed., it was a sweet time with me. I was enabled to leave
myself, and all my concerns with God ; and taking leave of
friends, I rode to Ripton, and was comforted in an opportunity
to see and converse with dear Mr. Mills."

In the four next folto7ving days, he was sometimes oppressed
with the weight of that great affair, about which Mr. Pemberton
had written to him; but was enroled from to time, to "cast his
burden on the Lord," and to commit himself and all his concerns
to him. He continued still in a sense of the excellency of holi-
ness, longings after it, and earnest desires for the advancement of
Christ's kingdom in the world ; and had from time to time sweet
comfort in meditation and prayer.

Nov. 24. " Came to New-York ; felt still rnuch concerned
about the importance of my business ; put up ma|ffi earnest re-
quests to God for hi* help and direction: was confused with the

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

noise and tumult of the city ; enjoyed but little time alone with
God ; but my soul longed after him.

Nov. 25. "Spent much time in prayer and supplication: was
examined by some gentlemen, of my Christian experiences, and
my acquaintance with divinity, and some other studies, in order
to my improvement in that important affair of evangelizing the
Heathen*; and was made sensible of my great ignorance and un-
fitness for public service. I had the most abasing thoughts of
myself, I think, that ever I had ; I thought myself the worst
wretch that ever lived : it hurt me, and pained my very heart,
that any body should shew me any respect. Alas ! methought
how sadly they are deceived in me ! how miserably would they
be disappointed if they knew my inside! O my heart! And in
this depressed condition, I was forced to go and preach to a con-
siderable assembly, before some grave and learned ministers; but
felt such a pressure from a sense of my vileness, ignorance, and
unfitness to appear in public, that I was almost overcome with it ;
my soul was grieved for the congregation ; that they should sit
there to hear such a dead dog as I preach. I thought myself in-
finitely indebted to the people, and longed that God would re-
ward them with the rewards of his grace. I spent much of the
evening alone."

* These gentlemen who examined Mr. Brainerd, were the Correspondents in
New- York, New-Jersey, and Pennsylvania, of the honourable Society in Scotland,
for propagating Christian knowledge ; to whom was committed the management
of their affairs in those parts, and who were now met at New- York.

CHAPTER IV.

From the time of his Examination and Commission as a Missionary
to his entrance on his Mission among the Indians at Kaunaumeek.

Nov. 26, 1 742. " Had still a sense of my great vileness, and
endeavoured as much as I could to keep alone. O what a no-
thing, what dust and ashes am I ! Enjoyed some peace and com-
fort in spreading my complaints before the God of all grace.

Nov. 27. "Committed my soul to God with some degree of
comfort; left New- York about nine in the morning; came away
with a distressing sense still of my unspeakable unworthiness.
Surely I may well love all my brethren; for none of them all is
so vile as I : whatever they do outwardly, yet it seems to me none
is so conscious of so much guilt before God. O my leanness, my
barrenness, my carnality, and past bitterness, and want of a gos-
pel temper! These things oppress my soul. Rode from New-
York, thirty miles, to White Plains, and most of the way con-
tinued lifting up my heart to God for mercy and purifying grace :
and spent the evening much dejected in spirit."

The three next days, he continued in this frame, in a great
sense of his own vileness, with an evident mixture of melancholy,
in no small degree; but had some intervals of comfort, and God's
sensible presence with him.

Dec. 1. " My soul breathed after God, in sweet spiritual and
longing desires of conformity to him; my soul was brought to
rest itself and all, on his rich grace, and felt strength and encour-
agement to do or suffer any thing that divine providence should
allot me. Rode about twenty miles from Stratfield to Newtown."

Within the space of the next nine days, he went a journey from
Newtown to Haddam, his native town ; and after staying there
some days, returned again into the western part of Connecticut,
and came to Southbury. In his account of the frames and exer-
cises of his mind, during this space of time, are such things as
these ; frequent turns of dejection ; a sense of his vileness, emp-
tiness, and an unfathomable abyss of desperate wickedness in his
heart, attended with a conviction that he had never seen but little

54 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

of it; bitterly mourning over his barrenness, being greatly griev-
ed that he could not live to God, to whom he owed his all ten
thousand lime?, crying out, "My leanness, my leanness!" a sense
of the meetncss and suitableness of his lying in the dust beneath
the feet of infinite majesty ; fervency and ardour in prayer; long-
ing to live to God ; being afflicted with some impertinent, trifling
conversation that he heard; but enjoying sweetness in Christian
conversation!

Pec. 11. "Conversed with a dear friend, to whom I had
thought of giving a liberal education, and being at the whole
charge of it, that he might befitted for the gospel ministry * I
acquainted him with my thoughts in that matter, and so left him
to consider of it, till 1 should see him again. Then I rode to
Bethlehem, came to Mr. Bellamy's lodgings, and spent the eve-
ning with him in sweet conversation and prayer. We recom-
mended the concern of sending my friend to college to the God
of all grace. Blessed be the Lord for this evening's opportunity
together.

Lord's day, Dec. 12. "I felt, in the morning, as if I had little
or no power either to pray or preach ; and felt a distressing need
of divine help. I went to meeting trembling ; but it pleased God
to assist me in prayer and sermon. I think my soul scarce ever
penetrated so far into the immaterial world, in any one prayer
that I ever made, nor were my devotions ever so free from gross
conceptions and imaginations framed from beholding material
objects. 1 preached with some sweetness, from Matt. vi. 33.
But seek yc first the kingdom of God, &c; and in the afternoon,
from Rom. xv. 30. And now J beseech you, brethren, &c. There
was much affection in the assembly. This has been a sweet Sab-
bath tome; and blessed be God, I have reason to think that my
religion is become more spiritual, by means of my late inward
conflicts* Amen. May I always be willing that God should use
his own methods with me !

* Braiserd, having now undertaken the business of a missionary to the Indians,
and expecting in a little time to leave his native country, to go among the savages
into Hip wilderness, far distant, and spend the remainder of his life among them —
and having some estate left him by his father, and thinking he should have no oc-
io.i for it among them, (though afterwards, as he told me, he found himself
mistaken,)— set himself to think which way he might spend it most for the glory of
God ; and no way presenting to his thoughts, wherein he could do more good with
it, than by being at the charge of educating some young person for the ministry,
who nil eared to be of good abilities, and well disposed, he fixed upon the person
here spoken of to this end. Accordingly he was soon put to learning; and Brain-
Erd continued to be at the charge of his education from year to year, so long as
he lived, which was till this young man was carrieil through his third year in
college.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 85

Dec. 13. "Joined in prayer with Mr. Bellamy; and found
sweetness and composure in parting with him, as he went a jour-
ney. Enjoyed some sweetness through the day; and just at night
rode down to Woodbury.

Dec. 14. " Some perplexity hung on my mind ; I was distres-
sed last night and this morning for the interest of Zion, especial-
ly on account of the false appearances of religion, that do but
rather breed confusion, especially in some places. I cried to
God for help, to enable me to bear testimony against those things,
which, instead of promoting, do but hinder the progress of vital
piety. In the afternoon, rode down to Southbury ; and conver-
sed again with my friend about the important affair of his pursu-
ing the work of the ministry ; and he appeared much inclined to
devote himself to that work, if God should succeed his attempts
to qualify himself for so great a work. In the evening I preached
from 1 Thess. iv. 8. He therefore that despiseth, &zc. and endeav-
oured, though with tenderness to undermine false religion. The
Lord ga\"2 me some assistance ; but, however, I seemed so vile,
I was ashamed to be seen when I came out of the meeting-
house.

Dec. 15. "Enjoyed something of God to-day. both in secret
and in social prayer ; but was sensible of much barrenness and
defect in duty, as well as my inability to help myself for the time
to come, or to perform the work and business I have to do.
Afterwards, felt much of the sweetness of religion, and the ten-
derness of the gospel-temper. I found a dear love to all man-
kind, and was much afraid lest some motion of anger or resent-
ment should, some time or other, creep into my heart. Had
some comforting, soul-refreshing discourse with dear friends, just
as we took our leave of each other; and supposed it might be
likely we should not meet again till we came to the eternal world.*
I doubt not, through grace, but that some of us shall have a hap-
py meeting there, and bless God for this season, as well as many
others. Amen.

Dec. 16. " Rode down to Derby; and had some sweet thoughts
on the road : especially on the essence of our salvation by Christ,
from these words, Thou shalt call his name Jesus, he.

Dec. 1 7. " Spent much time in sweet conversation on spiritual
things with dear Mr. Humphreys. Rode to Rip ton ; spent some
time in prayer with dear Christian friends.

* It had been determined by the commissioners, who employed Brainerd as a
missionary, that lie should go as soon as might be, conveniently, to the Indians liv-
ing near the Forks of Delaware river, in Pennsylvania, and the Indians on Sus-
quehannah river ; which being far off, where also he would be exposed to many
hardships and dangers, was the occasion of his taking leave of his friends in this
manner.

86 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

Dec. 18. "Spent much time in prayer in the woods ; and
seemed raised above the things of the world : my soul was strong
in (he Lord of hosts ; but was sensible of great barrenness.

Lord? a day, Dec. 19. "At the sacrament of the Lord's supper
I seemed strong in the Lord ; and the world, with all it frowns
and flatteries, in a great measure disappeared, so that my soul
had nothing to do with them : and 1 felt a disposition to be wholly
and for ever the Lord's. — In the evening, enjoyed something of
the divine presence; had a humbling sense of my vileness, bar-
• ■ nhess, and sinfulness. Oh, it wounded me to think of the mis-
imprnvement of time! God be merciful to me a sinner.

Dec. 20. "Spent this day in prayer, reading, and writing;
and enjoyed some assistance, especially in correcting some
thoughts on a certain subject ; but had a mournful sense of my
barrenness.

Dec. 21. "Had a sense of nrry insufficiency for any public
work and business, as well as to live to God. I rode over to
Derby, and preached there. It pleased God to give me very
sweet assistance and enlargement, and to enable me to speak
with a soft, tender power and energy. — We had afterwards a
comfortable evening in singing and prayer. God enabled me to
pray with as much spirituality and sweetness as I have done for
some time: my mind seemed to be unclothed of sense and im-
agination, and was in a measure let into the immaterial world of
spirits. This day was, I trust, through infinite goodness, made
very profitable to a number of us, to advance our souls in holi-
ness and conformity to God : the glory be to him for ever. Amen.
How blessed it is to grow more and more like God.

Dec. 22. "Enjoyed some assistance in preaching at Ripton ;
but my soul mourned within me for my barrenness.

Dec. 23. " Enjoyed, I trust, the presence of God this morn-
ing in secret. Oh, how divinely sweet is it to come into the secret
of his presence, and abide in his pavillion ! — Took an affection-
ate leave of friends, not expecting to see them again for a very
considerable time, if ever in this world. Rode with Mr. Hum-
phreys to his house in Derby ; spent the time in sweet conversa-
tion ; my soul was refreshed and sweetly melted with divine
things. Oh that I was always consecrated to God ! Near night,
I rode to New-Haven, and there enjoyed some sweetness in
prayer and conversation, with some dear Christian friends. My
mind was sweetly serious and composed ; but alas ! I too much
lo?t the sense of divine things."

He continued much in the same frame of mind, and in like
rcisesj the two following days.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERU. 37

Lord's Day, Dec. 26. " Felt much sweetness and tenderness
in prayer, especially my whole soul seemed to love my worst en-
emies, and was enabled to pray for those that are strangers and
enemies to God, with a great degree of softness and pathetic
fervour. In the evening, rode from New-Haven to Branford,
after I had kneeled down and prayed with a number of dear
Christian friends in a very retired place in the woods, and' so
parted.

Dec. 27. "Enjoyed a precious season indeed; had a sweet
melting sense of divine things, of the pure spirituality of the re-
ligion of Christ Jesus. In the evening, I preached from Matth.
vi. 33. But seek ye first, &c. with much freedom, and sweet pow-
er and pungency : the presence of God attended our meeting.
Oh, the sweetness, the tenderness I feit in my soul ! If ever
I felt the temper of Christ, I had some, sense of it now. Bles-
sed be my God, I have seldom enjoyed a more comfortable and
profitable day than this. Oh, that I could spend all my time for
God!

Dec. 28. " Rode from Branford to Haddam. In the morning
my clearness and sweetness in divine things continued ; but after-
wards my spiritual life sensibly declined."

The next twelve days, he was for the most part extremely de-
jected, discouraged, and distressed; and was evidently very much
under the power of melancholy. There are from day to day
most bitter complaints of exceeding vileness, ignorance, and
corruption ; an amazing load of guilt, unworthiness, even to
creep on God's earth, everlasting uselessness, fitness for nothing,
Sec. and sometimes expressions even of horror at the thoughts of
ever preaching again. But yet, in this time of great dejection,
he speaks of several intervals of divine help and comfort.

The three next days, which were spent at Hebron and the
Crank, (a parish in Lebanon,) he had relief, and enjoyed consid-
erable comfort.

Jan. 14, 1743. " My spiritual conflicts to-day were unspeaka-
bly dreadful, heavier than the mountains and over-flowing floods.
I seemed inclosed, as it were, in hell itself: I was deprived of all
sense of God, even of the being of a God; and that was my
misery. I had no awful apprehensions of God as angry. This
was distress, the nearest akin to the damned's torments, that I
ever endured : their torment, I am sure, will consist much in a
privation of God, and consequently of all good. This taught me
the absolute dependence of a creature upon God the Creator, for
every crumb of happiness it enjoys. Oh, I feel that, if there

MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD.

is no God, though I might live for ever here, and enjoy not only
tins, hut all other worlds, I should he ten thousand times more
miserable than a reptile. My *oul was in such anguish I could
not eat ; hut felt as I suppose a poor wretch would that is just go-
ing to the place of execution. I was almost swallowed up with
anguish, when 1 saw people gathering together, to hear me preach.
However, I went in that distress to the house of God, and found
not much relief in the first prayer: it seemed as if God would
let loose the people upon mc to destroy me ; nor were the thoughts
of death distressing to me, like my own vileness. But afterwards
in my discourse from Deut. viii. 2. God was pleased to give me
some freedom and enlargement, some power and spirituality; and
I spent the evening somewhat comfortably."

The two next days, his comfort continues, and he seems to en-
joy an almost continual sweetness of soul in the duties and exer-
cises of religion and christian conversation. On Monday was a
return of the gloom he had been under the Friday before. He
rode to Coventry this day, and the latter part of the day had
more freedom. On Tuesday he rode to Canterbury, and continu-
ed more comfortable.

Jan. 19. " [At Canterbury.] In the afternoon preached the
lecture at the meeting-house; felt some tenderness, and somewhat
of the gospel temper: exhorted the people to love one another,
and not to set up their own frames as a standard by which to try
all their brethren. But was much pressed, most of the day, with
a sense of my own badness, inward imparity, and unspeakable
corruption. Spent the evening in tender, Christian conversa-
tion.

Jan. 20. " Rode to my brother's house between Norwich and
Lebanon ; and preached in the eveping to a number of people :
enjoyed neither freedom nor spirituality, but saw myself exceed-
ing unworthy.

Jan. 21. "Had great inward conflicts; enjoyed but little
comfort. Went to see Mr. Williams of Lebanon, and spent
several hours with him ; and was greatly delighted with his
serious, deliberate, and impartial way of discourse about reli-
gion."

The next day he was much dejected.

Lord's day, Jan. 23. I scarce ever felt myself so unfit to exist
as now : saw 1 was not worthy of a place among the Indians,
where I am going, if God permit: thought I should be ashamed

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 89

to look them in the face, and much more to have any respect
shewn me there. Indeed I felt myself banished from the earth,
as if all places were too good for such a wretch. 1 thought I
should be ashamed to go among the very savages of Africa ; I ap-
peared to myself a creature fit for nothing, neither heaven nor
earth. — None know, but those who feel it, what the soul endures
that is sensibly shut out from the presence of God : alas ! it is
more bitter than death."

On Monday he rode to Stonington, Mr. Fish's parish. — On
Tuesday he expresses considerable degrees of spiritual comfort
and refreshment.

Jan. 26. "Preached to a pretty large assembly at Mr. Fish's
meeting-house: insisted on humility and stedfastness in keeping
God's commands ; and that through humility we should prefer one
another in love, and not make our own frames the rule by which
we judge others. I felt sweetly calm, and full of brotherly love;
and never more free from party spirit. I hope some good will
follow ; that Christians will be freed from false joy, and party
zeal, and censuring one another."

On Thursday, after considerable time spent in prayer and
Christian conversation, he rode to New-London.

Jan. 28. "Here I found some fallen into extravagances; too
much carried away with a false zeal and bitterness. Oh, the
want of a gospel temper is greatly to be lamented. Spent the
evening in conversing about some points of conduct in both min-
isters and private Christians; but did not agree with them. God
had not taught them with briars and thorns to be of a kind dispo-
sition towards mankind."

On Saturday, he rode to East-Haddam, and spent the three
folloioing days there. In that space of time he speaks of feeling
weanedness from the world, a setose of the nearness of eternity,
special assistance in prating for the enlargement of Christ's king-
dom, times of spiritual comfort, &c.

Feb. 2. "Preached my farewel sermon last night, at the house
of an aged man, who had been unable to attend on the public
worship for some time. This morning, spent the time in prayer,
almost wherever I went ; and having taken leave of friends, I set
out on my journey towards the Indians; though I was to spend

90 MEMOIRS OF DRA1NERD.

oma time it East-Hampton, on Long-Island, by leave of the
commissioners who employed me in the Indian affair;* and being
accompanied by a messenger from East-Hampton, we travelled
to Lyme. On the road I felt an uncommon pressure of mind: I
seemed to struggle hard for some pleasure in something here below,
and seemed' loth to give up all for gone; saw I was evidently
throwing myself into "all hardships and distresses in my present
undertaking. 1 thought it would be less difficult to lie down in
the grave; but yet 1 chose to go, rather than stay. — Came to
Lyme that night."

He waited the two next days for a passage over the Sound, and
pent much of the lime in inward conflicts and dejection, but had
-omc comfort.

On Saturday he crossed the Sound, landed at Oyster-pond-point
on Long-Island, and travelled from thence to East-Hampton. And
the seven following clays he spent there, for the most part, under
extreme dejection and gloominess of mind, with great complaints
of darkness, ignorance, &c. Yet his heart appears to have been
constantly engaged in the great business of religion, much con-
cerned for the interest of religion in East-Hampton, and praying
and labouring much for it.

Feb. 12. "Enjoyed a little more comfort; was enabled to
meditate with some composure of mind ; and especially in the
evening, found my soul more refreshed in prayer, than at any
time of late ; my soul seemed to " take hold of God's strength,"
and was comforted with his consolations. O, how sweet are
some glimpses of divine glory ! how strengthening and quick-
ening!

Lord's day, Feb. 13. "At noon, under a great degree of dis-
couragement ; knew not how it was possible for me to preach in
the afternoon. I was ready to give up all for gone ; but God was
pleased to assist me in some measure. In the evening, my heart
was sweetly drawn out alter God, and devoted to him."

The next day, he had comfort and dejection intermingled.

Feb. 15. "Early in the clay I felt some comfort; afterwards
1 walked into a neighbouring grove, and felt more as a stranger

* The rna«on why the commissioners or correspondents did not order Brauverd
to sro immediately to the Indians, and enter on his business as a missionary, was,
that the winter was not fudged to be a convenient season for him first to go out into
the wilderness, and enter,«w> the difficulties aud hardships to which he must there
be exposed. ' j

MEMOIRS OF BRAIN ERD. 91

on earth, I think, than ever before ; dead to any of the enjoy-
ments of the world, as if I had been dead in a natural sense. —
In the evening, had divine sweetness in secret duly : God was
then my portion, and my soul rose above those deep waters, into
which 1 have sunk, so low of late. — My soul then cried for Zion,
and had sweetness in so doing."

This sweet frame continued the next morning; but afterwards
his inward distress returned.

Feb. 17. "In the morning, found myself comfortable, and
rested on God in some measure. — Preached this day at a little vil-
lage belonging to East-Hampton ; and God was pleased to give
me his gracious presence and assistance, so that I spake with free-
dom, boldness, and some power. In the evening, spent some
time with a dear Christian friend ; and felt serious, as on the brink
of eternity. My soul enjoyed sweetness in lively apprehensions
of standing before the glorious God: prayed with my dear friend
with sweetness, and discoursed with the utmost solemnity. And
truly it was a little emblem of heaven itself. — I find my soul is
more refined and weaned from a dependence on my frames and
spiritual feelings.

Feb. 18. " Felt somewhat sweetly most of the day, and found
access to the throne of grace. Blessed be the Lord for any in-
tervals of heavenly delight and composure, while I am engaged
in the field of battle. Oh, that I might be serious, solemn, and
always vigilant, while in an evil world ! Had some opportunity
alone to day, and found some freedom in study. O, I long to
live to God!

Feb. 19. "Was exceeding infirm to-day, greatly troubled with
pain in my head and dizziness, scarce able to sit up. However,
enjoyed something of God in prayer, and performed some neces-
sary studies. I exceedingly long to die ; and yet, through divine
goodness, have felt very willing- to live, for two or three days
past.

Lord's day, Feb, 20. " I was perplexed on account of my
carelessness; thought I could not be suitably concerned about the
important work of the day, and so was restless with my easiness.
Was exceeding infirm again to-day ; but the Lord strengthened
me, both in the outward and inward man, so that I preached with
some life and spirituality, especially in the afternoon, wherein I
was enabled to speak closely against selfish religion, that loves
Christ for his benefits, but not for himself."

MEMOIRS OF BRAlNERfr

Dining the next fortnight, it appears that for the most part lie
enjoyed much spiritual peace and comfort. In his diary for this
space of time, are expressed such things as these; mourning
over indwelling sin, and unprofitableness; deadness to the world ;
longing after God, and to live to his glory ; heart-melting desires
after his eternal home; fixed reliance on God for his help; ex-
perience of much divine assistance, both in the private and public
exercises of religion ; inward strength and courage in the service
of God ; very frequent refreshment, consolation, and divine sweet-
ness in meditation, prayer, preaching, and christian conversation.
And it appears by his account, that this space of time was filled
up with great diligence and earnestness in serving God, in study,
prayer, meditation, preaching, and privately instructing and coun-
selling.

Merck 7. " This morning when I arose, I found my heart go forth
after God in longing desires of conformity to him, and in secret
prayer found myself sweetly quickened and drawn out in praises to
God for all he had done to and for me, and for all my inward trials
and distresses of late. My heart ascribed glory, glory, glory to the
blessed God ! and bid welcome to all inward distress again, if God
saw meet to exercise me with it. Time appeared but an inch
long, and eternity at hand; and I thought I could with patience
and cheerfulness bear any thing for the cause of God ; for I saw
that a moment would bring me to a world of peace and blessed-
ness. My soul, by the strength of the Lord, rose far above this
lower world, and all the vain amusements and frightful disappoint-
ments of it. Afterwards, had some sweet meditation on Genesis
v. 24. And Enoch walked with God, he. This was a comforta-
ble day to my soul."

The next day, he seems to have continued in a considerable
degree of sweetness and fervency in religion.

.March 9. "Endeavoured to commit myself, and all my con-
cerns to God. Rode sixteen miles to Montauk,* and had some
inward sweetness on the road ; but somewhat of flatness and dead-
ness after I came there and had seen the Indians. I withdrew,
and endeavoured to pray, but found myself awfully deserted and
left, and had an afflicting sense of my vileness and meanness.
However, I went and preached from Is. liii. 10. Yet it pleased
the. Lord to bruise him, k,c. Had some assistance ; and I trust

" Montauk is the eastern cape or end of Long-Island, inhabited chiefly by In-
dians.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 93

somewhat of the divine presence was among us. In the evening,
I again prayed and exhorted among them, after having had a sea-
son alone, wherein I was so pressed with the blackness of my na-
ture, that I thought it was not fit for me to speak so much as to
Indians."

The next day, he returned to East-Hampton ; was exceeding
infirm in body, through the remaining part of this week; but
speaks of assistance and enlargement in study and religious exer-
cises, and of inward sweetness, and breathing after God.

Lord's day, March 13. " At noon, I thought it impossible for
me to preach, by reason of bodily weakness, and inward dead-
ness. In the first prayer, I was so weak that I could hardly stand;
but in the sermon, God strengthened me, so that I spake near an
hour and a half with sweet freedom, clearness, and some tender
power, from Gen. v. 24. And Enoch walked with God. I was
sweetly assisted to insist on a close walk with God, and to leave
this as my parting advice to God's people here, that they should
walk with God. May the God of all grace succeed my poor la-
bours in this place !

March 14** "In the morning, was very busy in preparation
for my journey, and was almost continually engaged in ejaculato-
ry prayer. About ten, took leave of the dear people of East-
Hampton; my heart grieved and mourned, and rejoiced at the
same time ; rode near fifty miles to a part of Brook-Haven, and
lodged there, and had refreshing conversation with a Christian
friend."

In two days more, he reached New-York ; but complains of
much desertion and deadness on the road. He stayed one day
in New-York, and on Friday went to Mr. Dickinson's at Eliza-
beth-Town. His complaints are the same as on the two prece-
ding days.

March 19. "Was bitterly distressed under a sense of my ig-
norance, darkness, and unworthiness ; got alone, and poured out
my complaint to God in the bitterness of my soul. In the after-
noon, rode to Newark, and had some sweetness in conversation
with Mr. Burr,* and in praying together. O blessed fee God for-
ever and ever, for any enlivening and quickening seasons.

Lord's day, March 20. " Preached in the forenoon : God
gave me some assistance and sweetness, and enabled me to speak

* Afterwards President Burr, of Nassau Hall.

94 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

with real tenderness, love, and impartiality. In the evening,
preached again; and of a truth, God was pleased to assist a poor
worm. Blessed be God, I was enabled to speak with life, power,
am! desire of the edification of God's people; and with some
power to sinners. In the evening, I felt spiritual and watchful,
lest my heart should by any means be drawn away from God.
O when shall I come to that blessed world, where every power
of my soul will be incessantly and eternally wound up in heaven-
ly employments and enjoyments, to the highest degree!

On Monday, he went to Woodbridge, where he speaks of his
being with a number of ministers;* and, the day following, of
his travelling part of the way towards New-York. On Wednes~
day, he came to New-York. On Thursday, he rode near fifty
miles, from New-York to North-Castle. On Friday, went to
Danbury. Saturday to New-Mil ford. On the Sabbath he rode
five or six miles to the place near Kent in Connecticut, called
Scaticocke, where dwell a number of Indians, f and preached to
them. On Monday being detained by the rain, he tarried at
Kent. On Tuesday, he rode from Kent to Salisbury. Wednesday,
he went to Sheffield. Thursday, March 31, he wrent to Mr. Ser-
geant's at Stockbridge. He was dejected and verv*disconsolate,
through the main of this journey from New-Jersey to Stock-
brige; and especially on the last day his mind was overwhelmed
with peculiar gloom and melancholy.

' These ministers were the Correspondents who now met at Wootlbridge, and
gave BrAinerd new directions. Instead of sending him to the Indians at the
Forks of Delaware, as before intended, the}' ordered him to go to a number of Indi-
ans at Kaunaumeek ; a place in the province of New-York, in the woods between
Stockbridge and Albany. This alteration was occasioned by two things. 1. Infor-
mation which the correspondents had received of some contention now subsisting
between the white people and the Indians at Delaware, concerning their lands ;
which they supposed would be a hinderance, at present, to their entertainment of
a missionary, and to his success among them. 2. Some intimations which they had
received from Mr. Sergeant, Missionary to the Indians at Stockbridge, concerning
the Indians at Kaunaumeek, and the hopeful prospect of success which a Missionary
might have among them.

t These were the same Indians which Brajnerd mentions in his Diary, Au-
gust 12, 1742.

CHAPTER V.

From the Commencement of his Labours at Kaunaumeek, to his Ordi-
nation.

April 1, 1743. "I rode to Kaunaumeek, near twenty miles
from Stockbridge, where the Indians live with whom I am con-
cerned, and there lodged on a little heap of straw. I was greatly-
exercised with inward trials and distresses all day ; and in the
evening, my heart was sunk, and I seemed to have no God to go
to. Oh that God would help me !"

The next five days, he was for the most part in a dejected, de-
pressed state of mind, and sometimes extremely so. He speaks
of God's " waves and billows rolling over his soul ;" and of his be-
ing ready sometimes to say, "Surely his mercy is clean gone for-
ever, and he will be favourable no more; and says the anguish he
endured, was nameless and inconceivable; but at the same time
speaks thus concerning his distresses, "What God designs by all
my distresses, I know not; but this I know, I deserve them all,
and thousands more." He gives an account of the Indians kind-
ly receiving him, and being seriously attentive to his instructions.

April 7. "Appeared to myself exceedingly ignorant, weak,
helpless, unworthy, and altogether unequal to my work. It
seemed to me, that I should never do any service, or have any
success among the Indians. My soul was weary of my life; I
longed for death, beyond measure. When I thought of any god-
ly sonl departed; my soul was ready to envy him his privilege,
thinking, "O when will my turn come! must it be years first!"
But I know these ardent desires, at this and other times, rose part-
ly for want of resignation to God under all miseries; and so were
but impatience. Towards night, I had the exercise of faith in
prayer, and some assistance in writing. Oh that God would keep
me near him!

Aprils. "Was exceedingly pressed under a sense of my
pride, selfishness, bitterness, and party spirit, in times past, while I
attempted to promote the cause of God. Its vile nature and
dreadful consequences appeared in such odious colours to me, that
my very heart was pained. I saw how poor souls stumbled over

i)6 MEMOIRS OF BRALNERD.

it into everlasting destruction, that I was constrained to make that
prayer in the bitterness of my soul, " O Lord, deliver me from
blood-guiltiness." I saw my desert of hell on this account. My
soul was full of inward anguish and shame before God, that I had
spent so much time in conversation tending only to promote a par-
ty-spirit. I saw that I had not suitably prized mortification, self-
denial, resignation under all adversities, meekness, love, candour,
and holines? of heart and life : and this day was almost wholly
spent in such bitter, and soul-afflicting reflections on my past
frames and conduct. Of late, I have thought much of having the
kingdom of Christ advanced in the world ; but now I saw I had
enough to do within myself. The Lord be merciful to me a sin-
ner, and wash my soul !

April 9. " Remained much in the same state as yesterday ;
excepting that the sense of my vileness was not so quick and
acute.

Lord'' a day, April 10. " Rose early in the morning, and walked
out and spent a considerable time in the woods, in prayer and
meditation. Preached to the Indians, both forenoon and after-
noon. They behaved soberly in general : two or three in par-
ticular appeared under some religious concern; with whom I
discoursed privately ; and one told me, " that her heart had cri-
ed, ever since she had heard me preach first."

The next day, he complains of much desertion.

April 12. "Was greatly oppressed with grief and shame, re-
flecting on my past conduct, my bitterness and parly zeal. I was
ashamed, to think that such a wretch as I, had ever preached.
Longed to be excused from that work. And when my soul was
not in anguish and keen distress, " 1 felt senseless as a beast be-
fore God," and felt a kind of guilty amusement with the least
trifles; which still maintained a kind of stifled horror of con-
science, so that I could not rest any more than a condemned male-
factor.

April 13. "My heart was overwhelmed within me: I verily
thought that I was the meanest, vilest, most helpless, guilty, igno-
rant, benighted creature living. And yet I knew what God had
done for my soul, at the same time : though sometimes I was as-
saulted with damping doubts and fears, whether it was possible
for such a wretch as I to be in a state of grace.

April 14. " Remained much in the same state as yesterday.

April 15. "In the forenoon, very disconsolate. In the after-
noon, preached to my people, and was a little encouraged in some

MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. q;

hopes (hat God might bestow mercy on their souls. Felt some-
what resigned to God under all dispensations of his providence.

April 16. Still in the depths of distress. In the afternoon,
preached to my people ; but was more discouraged with them
than before; feared that nothing would ever be done for them to
any happy effect. I retired, and poured out my soul to God for
mercy; but without any sensible relief. Soon after came an
Irishman and a Dutchman, with a design, as they said, to hear me
preach the next day; but none can tell how I felt, to hear their
profane talk. O I longed that some dear Christian knew my dis-
tress. I got into a kind of hovel, and there groaned out my com-
plaint to God; and withal felt more sensible gratitude and "thank-
fulness to God, that he had made me to differ from these men, as
I knew through jjrace he had.

Lord's day, April 17. "In the morning, was again distressed
as soon as I awaked, hearing much talk about (he world, and the
things of it. I perceived that the men were in some measure
afraid of me; and I discoursed about sanctifying the Sabbath, if
possible to solemnize their minds ; but when they were at a little
distance, they again talked freely about secular affairs. O I
thought what a hell it would be, to live with such men to eterni-
ty ! The Lord gave me some assistance in preaching, all day, and
some resignation, and a small degree of comfort in praver at
night." "

lie continued in this disconsolate frame the next day.

April 19. "In the morning, I enjoyed some sweet repose and
rest in God; felt some strength and confidence in him; and
my soul was in some measure refreshed and comforted. Spent
most of the day in writing, and had some exercise of grace, sen-
sible and comfortable. My soul seemed lifted above the deep tea-
ters, wherein it has been so long almost drowned ; felt some spir-
itual longings and breathings of soul after God ; and found my-
self engaged for the advancement of Christ's kingdom in my own
soul.

April 20. " Set apart this day for fasting and prayer, to bow
my soul before God for the bestowment of divine grace ; espe-
cially that all my spiritual afflictions, and inward distresses, might
be sanctified to my soul. And endeavoured also to remember
the goodness of God to me the year past, this day being my birth
day. Having obtained help of God, I have hitherto lived, and
am now arrived at the age of twenty-five years. My soul was
pained to think of my barrenness and deadness; that 1 have lived
so little to the glory of the eternal God. I spent the day in the

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

woods alone, and there poured out my complaint to God. Oh
G i would enable me to live to his glory for the future!
#21. "Spent the forenoon in reading and prayer, and
found myself engaged; but still much depressed in spirit under
a sense of my vileness, and unfitness for any public service. In
the afternoon, I visited my people, and prayed and conversed with
some aboul (heir souls concerns: and afterwards found some ar-
dor of sonl in secret prayer. Oh that I might grow up into the

likeness of God!

April 22. -Spent the day in study, reading, and prayer; and
felt a little relieved of my burden, that has been so heavy of late.
But still was in some measure oppressed ; and had a sense of bar-
renness. O my leanness testifies against me! my very soul ab-
hors itself for its unlikeness to God, its inactivity and sluggishness.
When 1 have done all, alas, what an unprofitable servant am I!
My soul groans to see the hours of the day roll away, because I
do not till them, in spirituality and heavenly-mindedness. And
yet 1 long that they should speed their pace, to hasten me to my
j&ternal home, where 1 may fill up all my moments, through eter-
nity, for God and his glory."

On Saturday and Lord's day, his melancholy again prevailed ;
he complained of his ignorance, stupidity, and senselessness;
while yet he seems to have spent the time with the utmost dili-
gence, in study, in prayer, in instructing and counselling the In-
dians. On Monday, he sunk into the deepest melancholy ; so
that he supposed he never spent a day in such distress in his life ;
not in fears of hell, (which, he says, he had no pressing fear of)
but a distressing sense of his own vileness, &c. On Tuesday,
he expresses some relief. Wednesday, he kept as a day of fast-
ing and prayer, but in great distress. The three days ncxtfollow-
ing, his melancholy continued, but in a less degree, and with in-
tervals of comfort. On the last of these days, he wrote the fol-
lowing letter to his brother John, then a student at Yale College,
New-Haven.

Kaunavmcek, April 30, 1743.

DKAR BROTHER,

1 should tell you, " 1 long to see you," but my own expe-
rience has taught me, that there is no happiness, and plenary sat-
isfaction to be enjoyed in earthly friends, though ever so near
and dear, or in any other enjoyment, that is not God himself.
Therefore, if the. God of all "grace be pleased graciously to
afford us each his presence and grace, that we may perform the
Work, and endure the trials he calls us to, in a most distressing

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 99

tiresome wilderness, till we arrive at oar journey's end : the lo-
cal distance, at which we are held from each other at present
is a matter of no great moment or importance to either of us.
But alas ! the presence of God is what I want. 1 live in the.
most lonely melancholy desart, about eighteen miles from Alba*
ny ; for it was not thought best that I should go to Delaware Riv-
er, as I believe I hinted to you in a letter from New- York. I
board with a poor Scotchman: his wife can talk scarce any Eng-
lish. My diet consists mostly of hasty-pudding, boiled corn, and
bread baked in the ashes, and sometimes a little meat and butter.
My lodging is a little heap of straw, laid upon some boards, a
little way from the ground; for it is a log room, without any
floor, that I lodge in. My work is exceedingly hard and difficult:
I travel on foot a mile and a half, the worst of ways, almost dai-
ly, and back again; fori live so far from my Indians. I have not
seen an English person this month. These, and many other cir-
cumstances, equally uncomfortable, attend me; and yet my spiritu-
al conflicts and distresses, so far exceed all these, that I scarce think
of them, or hardly observe that I am not entertained in the most
sumptuous manner. The Lord grant that I may learn to "en-
dure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ!" As to my suc-
cess here, 1 cannot say much as yet. The Indians seem general-
ly kind, and well disposed towards me, are mostly very attentive
to my instructions, and seem willing to be taught further. Two
or three, I hope, are under some convictions; but there seems to
be little of the special workings of the divine Spirit among them
yet; which gives me many a heart-sinking hour. Sometimes I
hope that God has abundant blessings in store for them and me ;
but at other times I am so overwhelmed with distress, that I can-
not see how his dealings with me are consistent with covenant
love and faithfulness : and I say, " Surely his tender mercies
are clean gone forever." But however, I see that I needed all
this chastisement already : "It is good for me," that I have en-
dured these trials, and have hitherto little or no apparent suc-
cess. Do not be discouraged by my distresses. 1 was under
great distress, at Mr. Pomroy's, when I saw you last; but "God
has been with me of a truth," since that: he helped me sometimes
sweetly at Long-Island, and elsewhere. But let us always re-
member, that we must through much tribulation, enter into God's
eternal kingdom of rest and peace. The righteous are scarcely
saved : it is an infinite wonder that we have well grounded hopes
of being saved at all. For my part, I feel the most vile of any
creature living; and I am sure sometimes, there is not such ano-
ther existing on this side hell. Now all you can do for me, is. to

1.6851

lOu dEMOIRS OF BRAiNERB.

pray incessantly, that God would make me humble, holy, resign-
ed, and heavenly minded, by all my trials, "Bestrorigin the
Lord, and in the power of his might." Let us run, wrestle, and
fight, that we may win the prize, and obtain that complete happi-
ness, to be " holy, as God is holy."" So wishing and praying that
you may advance in learning and grace, and be (it for special ser-
vice for God, I remain your affectionate brother,

DAVID BRAIN ERD.

Lord's day, May 1. '-Was at Stockbridge to-day. In the
forenoon, had some relief and assistance; though not so much
as usual. In the afternoon, felt poorly in body and .soul ; while
I was preaching, seemed to be rehearsing idle tales, without the
least life, fervour, sense, or comfort ; and especially afterwards
at the sacrament, my soul was filled with confusion, and the ut-
most anguish that ever I endured, under the feeling of my inex-
pressible vileness and meanness. It was a most bitter and dis-
tressing season to me, by reason of the view I had of my own
heart, and the secret abominations that lurk there: I thought that
the eyes of all in the house were upon me, and I dared not look
any one in the face ; for it verily seemed as if they saw the vile-
ness of my heart, and all the sins I had ever been guilty of. And
if I had been banished from the presence of all mankind, never
to be seen any more, or so much as thought of, still I should
have been distressed with shame ; and I should have been asham-
ed to see the most barbarous pecple on earth, because I was vi-
ler, and seemingly more brutishly ignorant than they. "J am
made to possess the sins ol my youth."

The remaining days of this week were spent, for the most part,
in inward distress and gloominess. The next Sabbath, he had
encouragement, assistance, and comfort; but on Monday sunk
again.

May 10. " Was in the same state, as to my mind, that I have
been in for some time ; extremely oppressed with a sense of
guilt, pollution, and blindness: " The iniquity of my heels hath
compassed me about: the sins of my youth have been set in or-
der before me; they have gone over my head, as an heavy bur-
den, too heavy for me to bear." Almost all the actions of my
life past, seem to be covered over with sin and guilt; and those
of them that I performed in the most conscientious manner, now
till me with shame and confusion, that 1 cannot hold up my face.
O. the pride, selfishness, hypocrisy, ignorance, bitterness, party zeal,
and the want of love, candour, meekness, and gentleness, that have

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 101

attended my attempts to promote religion and virtue ; and this
when I have reason to hope I had real assistance from above, and
some sweet intercourse with heaven ! But alas, what corrupt
mixtures attended my best duties!"

The next seven days, his gloom and distress continued for the
most part, but he had some turns of relief and spiritual comfort.
He gives an account of his spending part of this time in hard la-
bour, to build himself a little cottage to live in amongst the Indi-
ans, in which he might be by himself; having, it seems, hitherto
lived with a poor Scotchman, as he observes in the letter just
now given ; and afterwards, before his own house was habi-
table, he lived in a wigwam among the Indians."

May 18. "My circumstances are such, that I have no com-
fort of any kind, but what I have in God. I live in the most
lonesome wilderness ; have but one single person to converse
with that can speak English.* Most of the talk 1 hear, is either
Highland Scotch, or Indian. I have no fellow-christian to whom
I may unbosom myself, or lay open my spiritual sorrows; with
whom I may take sweet counsel in conversation about heavenly
things, and join in social prayer. I live poorly with regard to the
comforts of life: most of my diet consists of boiled corn, hasty-
pudding, &c. I lodge on a bundle of straw, my labour is hard
and extremely difficult, and I have little appearance of success, to
comfort me. The Indians have no land to live on, but what the
Dutch people lay claim to; and these threaten to drive them off.
They have no regard to the souls of the poor Indians; and by
what I can learn, they hate me because I come to preach to them.
But that which makes all my difficulties grievous to be borne, is,
that God hides his face from me.

May 19. " Spent most of this day in close study: but was
sometimes so distressed that I could think of nothing but my
spiritual blindness, ignorance, pride, and misery. O I have rea-
son to make that prayer, " Lord, forgive my sins of youth, and
former trespasses."

May 20. " Was much perplexed some part of the day; but
towards ni°;ht, had some comfortable meditations on Is. xl. 1.
Comfort ye, comfort ye, fyc. and enjoyed some sweetness in

* This person was BrAinerd's interpreter, an ingenious yonng Indian, belong-
ing to Stockbridge, whose name was John JVauwaumpeqvwmauiit. He had boon
instructed in the Christian religion, by Mr. Sergeant; had lived with the Rev. Mr
Williams, of Long-Meadow; had been further instructed by him, at the charge of
Mr. Hollis of Loudon ; and understood both English and Indian very well, and
wrote a good hand.

102 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

prayer. Afterwards, my soul rose so far above the deep waters,
that I dared to r<joice in God. I saw that there was sufficient
matter of consolation in the blessed God."

The next nine days, his burdens were for the most part alle-
viated, but with variety; at some times, having considerable conso-
lation ; and at others, being more depressed. The next day, Mon-
day, May 30, he set out on a journey to New-Jersey, to consult the
commissioners who employed him about the affairs of his mis-
sion.* He performed his journey thither in four days ; and ar-
rived at Mr. Burr's in Newark on Thursday. In great part of
bis journey, he was in the depths of melancholy, under distresses
like those already mentioned. On Friday, he rode to Elizabeth-
Town : and on Saturday to New-York; and from thence on his
way homewards as far as White-Plains. There he spent the
Sabbath, and had considerable degrees of divine consolation and
assistance in public services. On Monday, he rode about sixty
miles to New-Haven. There he attempted a reconciliation with
the Faculty of the college ; and spent this week in visiiing his
friends in those parts, and in his journey homewards, till Saturday,
in a pretty comfortable frame of mind. On Saturday, in his way
from Stockbridge to Kaunaumeek, he was lost in the woods, and
lay all night in the open air; but happily found his way in the
morning, and came to his Indians on Lord's day, June 12, and
had greater assistance in preaching among them than ever before,
since his first coming among them.

From this time forward he was the subject of various frames
and exercises of mind: in the general, much after the same man-
ner as hitherto, from his first coming to Kaunaumeek till he got
into his own house, (a little hut, which he made chiefly with his
own hands, by long and hard labour,) which was near seven weeks
from this time. The great part of this time, he was dejected,
and depressed with melancholy; sometimes extremely; his
melancholy operating in like manner, as related in times past.
How it was with him in those dark seasons, he himself further
describes in his diary for July 2, in the following manner. " My
soul is, and has for a long time been in a piteous condition, wad-
ing through a series of sorrows, of various kinds. I have been so
crushed down sometimes with a sense of my meanness and infi-
nite unworthiness, that I have been ashamed that any, even the
meanest of my fellow-creatures, should so much as spend a

*His business with the comm-'ss-ioners now was, to obtain orders from them to set
up a school among the Indians at Kaunaumeek, and that his interpreter might be
appointed the schoolmaster ; which was accordingly done.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 103

thought about me ; and have wished sometimes, while travelling
among the thick brakes, to drop, as one of them, into everlasting
oblivion. In this case, sometimes, I have almost resolved never
again to see any of my acquaintance: and really thought, I could
not do it and hold up my face; and have longed for the remotest
region, for a retreat from all my friends, that I might not be seen
or heard of any more. Sometimes the consideration of my igno-
rance has been a means of my great distress and anxiety. And
especially my soul has been in anguish with fear, shame, and
guilt, that ever I had preached, or had any thought that way. — ■
Sometimes my soul has been in distress on feeling sortie particular
corruptions rise and swell like a mighty torrent, with present vio-
lence ; having, at the same time, ten thousand former sins and fol-
lies presented to view, in all their blackness and aggravations.— -
And these, while destitute of most of the conveniences of life,
and I may say, of all the pleasures of it; without a friend to com-
municate any of my sorrows to, and sometimes without any place
of retirement, where I may unburden my soul before God, which
has greatly contributed to my distress. — Of late, more especially3
my great difficulty has been a sort of carelessness, a kind of re-
gardless temper of mind, whence I have been disposed to indo-
lence and trifling: and this temper of mind has constantly been
attended with guilt and'shame ; so that sometimes I have been in
a kind of horror, to find myself so unlike the blessed God. I have
thought I grew worse under all my trials; and nothing has cut
and wounded my soul more than this. O, if I am one of God's
chosen, as I trust through infinite grace I am, I find of a truth, that
the r'ghteous are scarcely saved "

It is apparent, that one main occasion of that distressing gloom-
iness of mind which he was so much exercised with at Kaunau-
meek, was reflection on his past errors and misguided zeal at col-
lege, in the beginning of the late religious commotions. And
therefore he repeated his endeavours this year for reconciliation
with the governors of the college, whom he had at that time of-
fended. Although he had been at New-Haven, in June, this
year, and attempted a reconciliation, as mentioned already; yet,
in the beginning of July, he made another journey thither, and
renewed his at;empt, but still in vain.

Although he was much dejected, most of the time of which I
am now speaking ; yet he had many intermissions of his melan-
choly, and some seasons of comfort, sweet tranquillity and resig-
nation of niind, and frequent special assistance in public services,
as appear in Ins diary. The manner of his relief from his sorrow,
once in particular, is worthy to be mentioned in his own words.

li-i MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

■'July 25. Had little or no resolution for a life of holiness; was
ready almost to renounce my hopes of living to God. And O
how dark it looked, to think of heing unholy for ever ! This I
could not endure. The cry of my soul was, Psal. lxv. 3. Iniqui-
li'-s prevail against me. But I was in some measure relieved by
a comfortable meditation on God's eternity, that he never had a
beginning. Whence I was led to admire his greatness and power,
in such a manner, that I stood still, and praised the Lord for his
own glories and perfections ; though I was (and if I should for
ever be) an unholy creature, my soul was comforted to apprehend
an eternal, infinite, powerful, holy God."

July 30. " Just at night, moved into my own house, and lodg-
ed there that night ; found it much better spending the time alone
than iu the wigivam where I was before.

Lord's day July 31 . " Felt more comfortably than some days
past. — Blessed be the Lord, who has now given me a place of re-
tirement.—Oh that I may find God in it, and that he would
dwell with me for ever !

Aug. 1. " Was still busy in further labours on my house. —
Felt a little of the sweetness of religion, and thought that it was
worth while to follow after God through a thousand snares, des-
arts, and death itself. Oh that I might always follow after holi-
ness, that I may be fully conformed to God ! Had some degree
of sweetness in secret prayer, though I had much sorrow.

Aug. 2. " Was still labouring to make myself more comforta-
ble, with regard to my house and lodging. Laboured under spir-
itual anxiety : It seemed to me that 1 deserved to be thrust out of
the world; yet found some comfort in committing my cause to
God. It is good for me to be afflicted, that I may die wholly to
this world, and all that is in it.

Aug. 3. " Spent most of the day in writing. Enjoyed some
sense of religion. Through divine goodness I am now uninter-
ruptedly alone ; and find my retirement comfortable. I have en-
joyed more sense of divine things within a few davs last past, than
for some time before. I longed after holiness, humility, and
meekness : Oh that God would enable me to " pass the time of
my sojourning here in his fear," and always live to him!

Aug. 4. " Was 'enabled to pray much, through the whole
day; and through divine goodness found some intenseness of soul
in the duty, as 1 used to do, and some ability to persevere in my
supplicanons. J had some apprehensions of divine things, which
attorded me courage and resolution. It is good, I find, to perse-
vere i« attempts to pray, if I cannot pray with perseverance, i e

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 105

continue long in my addresses to the divine Being. I have gen-
erally found, that the more I do in secret prayer, the more I have
delighted to do, and have enjoyed more of a spirit of prayer : and
frequently have found the contrary, when with journeying or oth-
erwise I have been much deprived of retirement. A seasonable,
steady performance of secret duties in their proper hours,
and a careful improvement of all time, filling up every hour
with some profitable labour, either of heart, head, or hands, are

excellent means of spiritual peace and boldness before God.

Christ, indeed, is our peace, and by him ive have boldness of ac-
cess to God; but a good conscience, void of offence, is an excel-
lent preparation for an approach into the divine presence. There
is a difference between self-confidence or a self-righteous pleasiyig
of ourselves — as with our own duties, attainments, and spiritual
enjoyments — of which good men are sometimes guilty, and that
holy confidence arising from the testimony of a good conscience,
which good Hezekiah had, when he says, " Remember, O Lord,
I beseech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth, and with
a perfect heart." Then, says the holy psalmist, shall I not be
ashamed when I have respect to all thy commandments. Filling up
our time with and for God, is the way to rise up and lie down in
peace."

The next eight days, he continued for the most part in a very
comfortable frame, having his mind fixed and sweetly engaged in
religion ; and more than once blesses God, that he had given him
a little cottage, where he might live alone, and enjoy a happy re-
tirement, free from noise and disturbance, and could at any hour
of the day lay aside all studies, and spend time in lifting up his
soul to God for spiritual blessings.

Aug. 13. " Was enabled in secret prayer to raise my soul to
God, with desire and delight. It was indeed a blessed season. I
found the comfort of being a christian; and counted the sufferings
of the present life not worthy to be compared with the glory of di-
vine enjoyments even in this world. All my past sorrows seemed
kindly to disappear, and I " remembered no more the sorrow, for
joy." — O, how kindly, and with what a filial tenderness, the soul
confides in the Rock of ages, at such a season, that he will " never
leave it, nor forsake it," that he will cause "all things to work to-
gether for its good !" I longed, that others should know how
good a God the Lord is. My soul was full of tenderness and
love, even to the most inveterate of my enemies. I earnestly de-
sired that they should share in the same mercy; and loved that

'14

io«. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

God hhoukl do just us he pleased with me and every thing elue. I
felt peculiarly aerioua, calm, and peaceful, and encouraged to
press after holiness as long as I live, whatever difficulties and trials
may be in my way. May the Lord always help me so to do!
Ainen, and Amen.

Lord's day, Aug. 14. " I had much more freedom in public,
than in private. Cod enabled me to speak with some feeling
sense of di vine things; but perceived no considerable effect.

. lug. 1 5. " Spent most of the day in labour, to procure some-
thing to keep my horse on in the winter. Enjoyed not much
sweetness in the morning; was very weak in body through the
dm-; and thought that this frail body would soon drop into the
dust ; and had some very realizing apprehensions of a speedy en-
trance into another world. In this weak state of body, I was not
a little distressed for want of suitable food. I had no bread, nor
could I get any. I am forced to go or send ten or fifteen miles
for all the bread I eat ; and sometimes it is mouldy and sour be-
fore I eat it, if I get any considerable quantity. And then again I
have none for some clays together, for want of an opportunity to
send for it, and cannot find my horse in the woods to go myself;
and this was my case now ; but through divine goodness I had
some Indian meal, of which I made little cakes, and fried them.
Yet I felt contented with my circumstances, and sweetly re-
lied to God. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom ; and blessed
God as much for my present circumstances, as if I had been a
king; and thought that I found a disposition to be contented in
any circumstances. Blessed be God."

The rest of this week, he was exceedingly weak in body, and
much exercised with pain ; yet obliged from day to day to labour
hard, to procure fodder for his horse. Except some part of the
time, he was so very ill, that he was neither able to work nor stu-
dy ; but speaks of longings after holiness and perfect conformity
to God. He complains of enjoying but little of God : yet he says,
that little was better to him, than all the world besides. In his
diary for Saturday, he says, he was somewhat melancholy and
sorrowful in mind; and adds, "I never feel comfortably, but
when I find my soul going forth after God. If I cannot be holy,
I must necessarily be miserable for ever."

Lord's day, Aug. 21. " Was much straitened in the forenoon

exercise ; my thoughts seemed to be all scattered to the ends of

the earth. At noon, I fell down before the Lord, groaned under

■ v vileness, barrenness and deadness ; and felt as if I was guilty

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 107

of soul-murder, in speaking to immortal souls in such a manner as
I had then done. In the afternoon, God was pleased to give me
some assistance, and I was enabled to set before my hearers the
nature and necessity of true repentance. Afterwards, had some
small degree of thankfulness. Was very ill and full of pain in the
evening ; and my soul mourned that I had spent so much time to
so little profit.

Aug. 22. "Spent most of the day in study; and found my
bodily strength in a measure restored. Had some intense and
passionate breathings of soul after holiness, and very clear mani-
festations of my utter inability to procure, or work it in myself; it
is wholly owing to the power of God. O, with what tenderness
the love and desire of holiness fills the soul ! I wanted to wing
out of myself to God, or rather to get a conformity to him : but,
alas ! I cannot add to my stature in grace one cubit. However,
my soul can never leave striving for it ; or at least groaning, that
it cannot strive for it, and obtain more purity of heart. — At night,
I spent some time in instructing my poor people. Oh that God
would pity their souls !

Aug. 23. " Studied in the forenoon, and enjoyed some free-
dom. In the afternoon, laboured abroad: endavoured to pray:
but found not much sweetness or intenseness of mind. Towards
night, was very weary, and tired of this world of sorrow : the
thoughts of death and immortality appeared very desirable, and
even refreshed my soul. Those lines turned in my mind with
pleasure,

" Come death, shake hands ; I'll kiss thy bands ;
" 'Tis happiness for me to die. —
" What!— dost thou think, that I will shrink ?
" I'll go to immortality."

•• In evening prayer, God was pleased to draw near my soul,
though very sinful and unworthy; so that I was enabled to wres-
tle with God, and to persevere in my requests for grace. I pour-
ed out my soul for all the world, friends, and enemies. My soul
was concerned, not so much for souls as such, but rather for
Christ's kingdom, that it might appear in the world, that God
might be known to be God, in the whole earth. And O my
abhorred the very thought of a party in religion ! Let the truth of
God appear, wherever it is ; and God have the glory for ever.
Amen. This was indeed a comfortable season. I thought I had
some small taste of, and real relish for the enjoyments and em-
ployments of the upper world. Oh that my soul was more attem-
pered to it !

108 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Aug. 24. " Spent some time, in the morning, in study and
prayer. Afterwards, was engaged in some necessary business
abroad. Towards night, found a little time for some particular
studies. 1 thought, if God should say, "Cease making any pro-
vision for this life, for you shall in a few days go out of time into
eternity," my soul would leap for joy. Oh that I may both "de-
sire to be dissolved, to be with Christ," and likewise " wait pa-
tiently all the days of my appointed time till my change come !"
But, alas ! I am very unfit for the business and blessedness of
heaven. Oh f»r more holiness!

Aug. 25. " Part of the day, was engaged in studies ; and part
in labour abroad. I find it is impossible to enjoy peace and tran-
quillity of mind, without a careful improvement of time. This is
really an imitation of God and Christ Jesus: " My Father work-
eth hitherto, and I work," says our Lord. But still, if we would
be like God, we must see that we fill up our time for him. I daily
long to dwell in perfect light and love. In the mean time, my
soul mourns that I make so little progress in grace, and prepara-
tion for the world of blessedness; I see and know that I am a very
barren tree in God's vineyard, and that he might justly say, " Cut
it down," he. Oh that God would make me more lively and vi-
gorous in grace, for his own glory ! Amen."

The two next days, he was much engaged in the necessary la-
bours, in which he extremely spent himself. He seems these
days to have had a great sense of the vanity of the world ; con-
tinued longings after holiness, and more fervency of spirit in the
service of God.

Lord's Day, Aug. 28. " Was much perplexed with some irre-
ligious Dutchmen. All their discourse turned upon the things of
<he world ; which was no small exercise to my mind. O what a
hell it would be to spend an eternity with such men ! Well might
David say, <; I beheld the transgressors, and was grieved." But
adored be God, heaven is a place into which no unclean thing en-
ters. O I long for the holiness of that world! Lord prepare me
for ?7."

The next day he set out on a journey to New-York. Was
somewhat dejected the txoo first days of his journey; but yet
seems to have enjoyed some degrees of the sensible presence of
God.

Aug. 31. " Rode down to Bethlehem ; was iu a sweet, seri-
ous, and, T hope, christian frame, when I came there. Eternal

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 109

things engrossed all my thoughts ; and I longed to be in the world
of spirits. O how happy is it, to have all our thoughts swallowed
up in that world : to feel one's self a serious considerate stranger
in this world, diligently seeking a road through it, the best, the
sure road to the heavenly Jerusalem !

Sept. 1. "Rode to Danbury. Was more dull and dejected
in spirit, than yesterday. Indeed, I always feel comfortably,
when God realizes death, and the things of another world, to my
mind. Whenever my mind is taken off from the things of this
world, and set on God, my soul is then at rest."

He went forward on his journey, and came to New-York on
the next Monday. And after tarrying there two or three days, he
set out from that city towards New-Haven, intending to be there
at the commencement ; and on Friday came to Horse-Neck. In
the mean time, he complains much of dulness, and want of fer-
vour in religion; but yet, from time to time, speaks of his enjoy-
ing spiritual warmth and sweetness in conversation with christian
friends, and assistance in public services.

Sept. 10. "Rode six miles to Stanwich, and, preached to a
considerable assembly of people. Had some assistance and free-
dom, especially towards the close. Endeavoured much after-
wards, in private conversation, to establish holiness, humility,
meekness, &c. as the essence of true religion ; and to moderate
some noisy sort of persons, who appeared to me to be actuated
by unseen spiritual pride. Alas, into what extremes men incline
to run ! — Returned to Horse-Neck; and felt some seriousness and
sweet solemnity in the evening.

Lord's day, Sept. 11. "In the afternoon, I preached from Tit.
iii. 8. This is a faithful saying, and these things, #-c. I think God
never helped me more in painting true religion, and in detecting
clearly, and tenderly discountenancing false appearances of reli-
gion, wild-fire, party zeal, spiritual pride, &c. as well as a confi-
dent dogmatical spirit, and its spring, viz. ignorance of the heart.
In the evening, took much pains in private conversation to sup-
press some confusions, which I perceived were among that peo-
ple.

Sept. 12. "Rode to Mr. Mills' at Ripton. Had some per-
plexing hours ; but was some part of the day very comfortable.
It is " through great trials," I see, " that we must enter the gates
of paradise." If my soul could but be holy, that God might not
be dishonoured, methinks I could bear sorrows.

Sept. 13. " Rode to New-Haven. Was sometimes dejected ;
not in the sweetest frame. Lodged at ****. Had some profita-

110 MEMOIJtS OF BRAINERD.

ble christian conversation. I find, though my inward trials were
great, and a life of solitude gives them greater advantage to settle,
and penetrate to the very inmost recesses of the soul ; yet it is bet-
ter to be alone, than incumbered with noise and tumult. I find it
very difficult maintaining any sense of divine things, while remov-
ing from place to place, diverted with new objects, and filled with
Gare and business. A settled steady business is best adapted to
a life of strict religion.

. •'. 11. " This day I ought to have taken my degree;* but
God sees fit to deny it me. And though I was greatly afraid of
being overwhelmed with perplexity and confusion, when I should
see my ckzss-mMes take theirs: yet, at the very time. God ena-
bled me with calmness and resignation to say, " the will of the
Lord be done." Indeed, through divine goodness, 1 have scarce-
ly felt my mind so calm, sedate, and comfortable for some time.
I have long feared this season, and expected my humility, meek-
ness, patience and resignation would be much tried ;t but found
much more pleasure and divine comfort, than I expected. Felt
spiritually serious, tender and affectionate in private prayer with
a dear christian friend to-day.

Sept. 15. ,; Had some satisfaction iu hearing the ministers
discourse. It is always a comfort to me, to hear religious and
spiritual conversation. Oh that ministers and people were more
spiritual and devoted to God! — Towards night, with the advice
of christian friends, 3 offered the following reflections in writing,
to the rector and trustees of the college — which are for substance
the same that I had freely offered to the rector before, and in-
treated him to accept — that if possible I might cut offall occasion
of offence, from those who seek occasion. What I offered, is as
follow?:

" Whereas I have said before several persons, concerning Mr.
Whittekey, one of the tutors of Yale College, that I did not be-
lieve he had any more grace than the chair I then leaned upon ;
I humbly confess, that herein I have sinned against God, and act-
ed contrary to the rules of his word, and have injured Mr. Whit-
telsey. I had no right to make thus free with his character ; and
had no just reason to say as I did concerning him. My fault here-
in was the more aggravated, in that 1 said this concerning one
who was so much my superiour, and one whom I was obliged to

* This being commencement-day.

t Mis trial was the greater, in that, had it uotbeen for the displeasure of the gov-
ernors of the College, he would not only on that day have shared with his class-
mates in the public honours which they then received, but would on that occasion
have appeared at the head oi that class ; which, if he had been with them, would
c been the most numerous cf any that ever had been graduated at that College.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. HI

treat with special respect and honour, by reason of the relation
I stood in to him in the college. Such a manner of behaviour, I
confess did not become a christian ; it was taking too much upon
me, and did not savour of that humble respect, which I ought to
have expressed towards Mr. Whittelsey. 1 have long since been
convinced of the falseness of those apprehensions, by which I then
justified such a conduct. I have often reflected on this act with
grief; I hope, on account of the sin of it : and am willing to lie
low, and be abased before God and man for it. I humbly ask
the forgiveness of the governors of the college, and of the whole
society ; but of Mr. Whittelsey in particular. And whereas I
have been accused by one person of saying concerning the rever-
end rector of Yale College, that I wondered he did not expect to
drop down dead for fining the scholars that followed Mr. Tennent
to Milford ; I seriously profess, that I do not remember my saying
any thing to this purpose. But if I did, which I am not certain
I did not, I utterly condemn it, and detest all such kind of beha-
viour; and especially in an under-graduate towards the rector*
And 1 now appear to judge and condemn myself for going once
to the separate meeting in New-Haven, a little before I was ex-
pelled, though the rector had refused to give me leave. For this I
humbly ask the rector's forgiveness. And whether the governors
of the college shall ever see cause to remove the academical cen-
sure I lie under, or no, or to admit me to the privileges I desire ;
yet I am willing to appear, if they think tit, openly to own, and to

humble myself for those things I have herein confessed."

" God has made me willing to do any thing, that I can do, con-
sistent with truth, for the sake of peace, and that I might not be
a stumbling block to others. For this reason I can cheerfully
forego, and give up what I verily believe, after the most mature
and impartial search is my right, in some instances. God has
given me the disposition, that, if a man has done me an hundred
injuries, and I (though ever so much provoked to it) have done
him only one, I feel disposed, and heartily willing humbly to
confess my fault to him, and on my knees to ask forgiveness
of him ; though at the same time he should justify himself in
all the injuries he has done me, and should only make use of my
humble confession to blacken my character the more, and repre-
sent me as the only person guilty ; yea, though he should as it were
insult me, and say, " he knew all this before, and that I was ma-
king work for repentance." Though what I said concerning Mr.
Whittelsey was only spoken in private, to a friend or two ; and
being partly overheard, was related to the rector, and by him ex-
torted from my friends ; yet, seeing it was divulged and made
public, I was willing to confess my fault therein publicly. But {
trust God will plead mv cause."

112 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

I was witness to the very christian spirit which Brainerd shew-
ed at that time ; being then at New-Haven, and one whom lie
thought lit to consult on that occasion. This was my first oppor-
tunity of a personal acquaintance with him. There truly appear-
ed in him a great degree of calmness and humility; without the
lea9t appearance of rising of spirit for any ill treatment which he
supposed he had suffered or the least backwardness to abase himself
before them who, as he thought, had wronged him. What he did
was without any objection or appearance of reluctance, even in
private to his friends, to whom he freely opened himself. Ear-
nest application was made on his behalf to the authority of the
college, that he might have his degree then given him ; and par-
ticularly by the Rev. Mr. Burr of Newark, one of the corres-
pondents of the honourable society in Scotland ; he being sent
from New-Jersey to New-Haven, by the rest of the commission-
ers, for that end; and many arguments were used, but without
success. Indeed, the Governors of the College were so far satis-
fied with the reflections which Brainerd had made on himself,
that they appeared willing to admit him again into college; but not
to give him his degree, till he should have remained there at least
twelve-months, which being contrary to what the Correspond-
ents, to whom he was now engaged, had declared to be their
mind, he did not consent to it. He desired his degree, as he
thought it would tend to his being more extensively useful; but
still when he was denied it, he manifested no disappointment or
resentment. The next day he went to Derby ; then to Southbu-
ry, where he spent the Sabbath : and speaks of some spiritual
comfort; but complains much of unfixedness, and wanderings of
mind in religion.

Sept. 19. " In the afternoon, rode to Bethlehem, and there
preached. Had some measure of assistance, both in prayer and
preaching. I felt serious, kind and tender towards all mankind,
and longed that holiness might flourish more on earth.

Sept. 20. " Had thoughts of going forward on my journey to
my Indians ; but towards night was taken with a hard pain in my
teeth, and shivering cold ; and could not possibly recover a com-
fortable degree of warmth the whole night following. I continu-
ed very full of pain all night; and in the morning had a very
hard fever, and pains almost over my whole body. I had a sense
of the divine goodness in appointing this to be the place of my
sickness, among my friends who were very kind to me. I should
probably have perished, if I had first got home to my own house in
the wilderness, where I have none to converse with but the poor,

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 113

rude, ignorant Indians. Here, I saw, was mercy in the midst of
affliction. I continued thus, mostly confined to my bed, till Fri-
day night; very full of pain most of the time; but through divine
goodness, not afraid of death. Then the extreme folly of those
appeared to me, who put off their turning to God till a sick bed.
Surely this is not a time proper to prepare for eternity. On Fri-
day evening, my pains went off somewhat suddenly. I was ex-
ceedingly weak, and almost fainted; but was very comfortable the
night following. These words, Psal. cxviii. 17. I shall not die,
hut live, &,c. I frequently revolved in my mind; and thought we
were to prize the continuation of life, only on this account, that
we may " shew forth God's goodness and works of grace."

From this time he gradually recovered; and the next Tuesday
was so well as to be able to go forward on his journey home-
wards ; but it was not till the Tuesday following, that he reached
Kaunaumeek. He seems great part of this time, to have had a
very deep and lively sense of the vanity and emptiness of all
things here below, and of the reality, nearness, and vast impor-
tance of eternal things.

Oct. 4. " This day rode home to my own house and people.
The poor Indians appeared very glad of my return. Found my
house and all things in safety. I presently fell on my knees, and
blessed God for my safe return, after a long and tedious journey,
and a season of sickness in several places where I had been, and
after I had been ill myself. God has renewed his kindness to
me, in preserving me one journey more. I have taken many
considerable journies since this time last year, and yet God has
never suffered one of my bones to be broken, or any distressing
calamity to befal me, excepting the ill turn I had in my last jour-
ney. I have been often exposed to cold and hunger in the wil-
derness, where the comforts of life were not to be had; hive
frequently been lost in the woods ; and sometimes obliged to
ride much of the night; and once lay out in the woods all night;
yet, blessed be God, he has preserved me !"

In his diary for the next eleven days, are great complaints of
distance from God, spiritual pride, corruption, and exceeding
vileness. He once says, his heart was so oppressed with a sense
of his pollution, that he could scarcely have the face and im-
pudence (as it then appeared to him) to desire that God should
not damn him forever. And at another time, he says, he had so
little sense of God, or apprehension and relish of his glory and

li I MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

excellency, that it made him more disposed to kindness and ten-
derness towards those who are blind and ignorant of Cod and
things divine and heavenly.

Lord's day, Or/. 1G. "In the evening, God was pleased to
give mc a feeling sense of my own unworthiness ; but through
divine goodness such as tended to draw me to, rather than drive
me from, God. It filled me with solemnity. I retired alone,
(having at this time a friend with me) and poured out my soul
to God with much freedom; and yet in anguish, to find myself so
unspeakably sinful and unworthy before a holy God. Was now
much resigned under God's dispensations towards me, though my
trials had been very great. But thought whether I could be re-
signed, if God should let the French Indians come upon me and
deprive me of life, or carry me away captive, (though I knew of
no special reason then to propose this trial to myself, more than
any other:) and my soul seemed so far to rest and acquiesce in
God, that the sting and terror of these things, seemed in a great
measure gone. Presently after I came to the Indians, whom I
was teaching to sing that evening, I received the following letter
from Stockbridge, by a messenger sent on the Sabbath on pur-
pose, which made it appear of greater importance.

'Sir — Just now we received advices from Col. Stoddard, that
there is the utmost danger of a rupture with France. He has
received the same from his Excellency our Governour, ordering
him to give notice to all the exposed places, that they may se-
cure themselves the best they can against any sudden invasion.
We thought best to send directly to Kaunaumeek, that you may
take the most prudent measures for your safety. I am, Sir, &c.'

"I thought, upon reading the contents, it came in a good sea-
son ; for my heart seemed fixed on God, and therefore I was not
much surprized. This news only made me more serious, and
taught me that I must not please myself with any of the comforts
of life which I had been preparing. Blessed be God, who gave
me any intensenes? and fervency this evening !

Oct. 17. "Had some rising hopes, that 'God would arise and
have mercy on Zion speedily.' My heart is indeed refreshed,
when I have any prevailing hopes of Zion's prosperity. Oh that
I may see the glorious day, when Zion shall become the joy of the
whole earth! Truly there is nothing that I greatly value in this
lower world."

On Tuesday, he rode to Stockbridge ; complains of being much
divert- d. and having but little life. On Wednesday, he expresses

MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 1,15

some solemn sense of divine things, and a longing to be always
doing for God with a friendly frame of spirit.

Oct. 20. " Had but little sense of divine things this day. Alas,
that so much of my precious time is spent with so little of God!
Those are tedious days wherein I have no spirituality.

Oct. 21. Returned home to Kaunaumeek : was glad to get
alone in my little cottage, and to cry to that God who seeth in se-
cret, and is present in a wilderness.

Oct. 22. "Had hut little sensible communion with God. This
world is a dark, cloudy mansion. O when will the Sun of Right-
eousness shine on my soul without intermission !

Lord's day, Oct. 23. " In the morning, I had a little dawn of
eomfort arising from hopes of seeing glorious days in the Church
of God ; and was enabled to pray for such a glorious day, with
some courage, and strength of hope. In the forenoon, treated
on the glories of heaven : In the afternoon, on the miseries of
hell, and the danger of going there. Had some freedom and
warmth, both parts of the day. And my people were very at-
tentive. In the evening, two or three came to me under concern
for their souls; to whom 1 was enabled to discourse closely, and
with some earnestness and desire. Oh that God would be merciful
fo l 'heir poor souls /"

He seems through the whole of this week, to have been greatly
engaged to fill up every inch of time in the service of God, and
to have been most diligently employed in study, prayer, and in-
structing the Indians ; and from time to time, expresses longings
of soul after God, and the advancement of his kingdom, and spir-
itual comfort and refreshment.

Lord^s day, Oct. 30. " In the morning, I enjoyed some fixed-
ness of soul in prayer, which was indeed sweet and desirable: and
was enabled to leave myself with God, and to acquiesce in him.
At noon, my soul was refreshed with reading Rev. iii. more espe-
cially the 11th and 12th verses. O my soul longed for that bles-
sed day, when I should ' dwell in the temple of God,' and ' go no
more out' of his immediate presence !

Oct. 31. "Rode to Kinderhook, about fifteen miles from my
residence. While riding, I felt some divine sweetness in the
thoughts of being " a pillar in the temple of God" in the upper
world, and being no more deprived of his blessed presence, and
the sense of his favour, which is better than life. My soul was
so lifted up to God, that I could pour out my desires to him, for
more grace and further decrees of sanctification. with abundant

116 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

freedom. O I longed to he more abundantly prepared for that
blessedness, with which I was then in some measure refreshed !
Returned home in the evening; but took an extremely bad cold
by riding in the night.

Nov. I. " Was very much disordered in body, and sometimes
full of pain in my face and teeth ; was not able to study much,
and had not much spiritual comfort Alas! when God is with-
drawn, all is gone. Had some sweet thoughts, which I could not
but write down, on the design, nature, and end of Christianity.

Nov. 2. " Was still more indisposed in body, and in much
pain, most of the day. I had not much comfort; was scarcely
able to study at all ; and still entirely alone in the wilderness.
But blessed be the Lord, I am not exposed in the open air; I
have a house, and many of the comforts of life, to support me.
I have learned, in a measure, that all good things, relating both to
time and eternity, come from God In the evening, 1 had some
degree of quickening in prayer : I think God gave me some sense
of his presence.

Nov. 3. " Spent this day in seciet fasting and prayer, from
morning till night. Early in the morning, 1 had some small de-
gree of assistance in prayer. Afterwards, read the story of Elijah
the prophet, i Kings, xvii. xviii. and xix. chapters, and also 2
Kings, ii. and iv chapters. My soul was much moved, observing
the faith, zeal, and power of that holy man; how he wrestled with
God in prayer, he. My soul then cried with Elisha, " Where is
the Lord God of Elijah!" O I longed for more faith ! My soul
breathed after God, and pleaded with him, that a " double por-
tion of that spirit," which was given to Elijah, might " rest on
me." And that which was divinely refreshing and strengthening
to my soul, was, I saw that God is the same that he was in the
days of Elijah. — Was enabled to wrestle with God by prayer, in
a more affectionate, fervent, humble, intense, and importunate
manner, than I have for many months past. Nothing seemed too
hard for God to perform ; nothing too great for me to hope for
from him. I had for many months entirely lost all hopes of being
matie instrumental of doing any special service for God in the
world ; it has appeared entirely impossible, that one so vile should
be thus employed for God. But at this time God was pleased to
revive this hope. Afterwards read from the iii. chapter of Exo-
dus to the xx. and saw more of the glory and majesty of God dis-
covered in those chapters, than ever I had seen before; frequent-
ly in the mean time falling on my knees, and crying to God for
the faith ol Moses, and for a manifestation of the divine glory. —
Especially the iii. and iv. and part of the xiv. and xv. chapters

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 117

were unspeakably sweet to my soul : my soul blessed God, that
he had shewn himself so gracious to his servants of old. The xv.
chapter seemed to be the very language which my soul uttered to
God in the season of my first spiritual comfort, when I had just
got through the Red Sea, by a way that I had no expectation of.
O how my soul then rejoiced in God! And now those things came
fresh and lively to my mind; now my soul blessed God afresh
that he had opened that unthought of way to deliver me from the
fear of the ligyptians, when I almost despaired of life. — After-
wards read the story of Abraham's pilgrimage in the land of Ca-
naan. My soul was melted, in observing his faith, how he leaned
on God; how he communed with God; and what a stranger he
was here in the world. After that, read the story of Joseph's suf-
ferings, and God's goodness to him : blessed God for these ex-
amples of faith and patience. My soul was ardent in prayer, was
enabled to wrestle ardently for myself, for Christian friends, and
for the church of God. And felt more desire to see the power of
God in the conversion of souls, than I have done for a long sea-
son. Blessed be God for this season of fasting and prayer ! —
May his goodness always abide with me, and draw my soul t©
h'

Nov. 4. "Rode to Kinderhook: went quite to Hudson's riv-
er, about twenty miles from my house; performed some business;
and returned home in the evening to my own house. I had rather
ride hard, and fatigue myself, to get home, than to spend the eve-
ning and night amongst those who have no regard for God."

The two next days, he was very ill, and full of pain, probably
through his riding in the night, after a fatiguing day's journey on
Thursday ; but yet seems to have been diligent in business.

Nov. 7. This morning the Lord afforded me some special as-
sistance in prayer; my mind was solemn, fixed, affectionate, and
ardent in desires after holiness ; felt full of tenderness and love ;
and my affections seemed to be dissolved into kindness. In the
evening, I enjoyed the same comfortable assistance in prayer, as
in the morning: my soul longed after God, and cried to him with
a filial freedom, reverence and boldness. Oh that I might be en-
tirely consecrated and devoted to God!''

The two next day?, he complains of bodily illness and pain ; but.
much more of spiritual barrenness and unprofitableness.

Nov. 10. "Spent this day in fasting and prayer alone. In
the morning, was very dull and lifeless, melancholy and discour-

118 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

aged. But after some time, while reading 2 Kings, xix. my soul
was moved and affected; especially reading verse 14, and onward.
I saw there was no other way for the ;.fflicted children of God to
take, but to go to God with all their sorrows. Hezekiah, in his
great distress, went and spread his complaint before the Lord. 1
was then enabled to see the mighty power of God, and my ex-
treme nee<\ of that power; and to cry to him affectionately and
ardently for his power and grace to be exercised towards me. —
Afterwards, read the story of David's trials, and observed the j
course he took under them, how he strengthened his hands in i
God ; whereby my soul was carried out after God, enabled to
cry to him, and rely upon him, and felt strong in the Lord. Was
afterwards refreshed, observing the blessed temper that was
wrought in David by his trials: all bitterness, and desire of re-
venge, seemed wholly taken away; so that he mourned for the
death of his enemies; 2 Sam. i. 17. and iv. 9. ad. Jin. — Was ena-
bled to bless God, that he had given me something of this divine
temper, that my soul freely forgives, and heartily loves my ene-
mies.,"

It appears by his diary for the remaining part of this week, and
for the two following weeks, that great part of the time he was
very ill, and full of pain ; and yet obliged, through his circumstan-
ces, in this ill state of body, to be at great fatigues, in labour, and
travelling day and night, and to expose himself in stormy and se-
vere seasons. He, from time to time, within this space, speaks of
thirstings of soul after God ; of his heart being strengthened in
God ; of seasons of divine sweetness and comfort ; of his heart be-
ing affected with gratitude for mercies, he. Yet there are many
complaints of lifelessness, weakness of grace, distance from God.
and great unprofitableness. But still there appears a constant
care, from day to day, not to lose time, but to improve it all for
God.

Lord's day, Nov. 27. " In the evening, I was greatly affected
in reading an account of the very joyful death of a pious gentle-
man; which seemed to invigorate my soul in God's ways. I felt
courageously engaged to pursue a life of holiness and self-denial
as long as I live ; and poured out my soul to God for his help and
assistance in order thereto. Eternity then seemed near, and my
soul rejoiced and longed to meet it. I trust that will be a blessed
day which finishes my toil here.

Nov. 28. " In the evening, I was obliged to spend time in
company and conversation, which were unprofitable. Nothing
lies heavier upon me, than the mis-improvement of time.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 119

Nov. 29. " Began to study the Indian tongue, with Mr. Ser-
geant at Stockbridge.* Was perplexed for want of more retire-
ment. I love to live alone in my own little cottage, where I can
spend much time in prayer, &c.

Nov. 30. "Pursued my study of Indian: but was very weak
and disordered in body, and was troubled in mind at the barren-
ness of the day, that I had done so little for God. I had some
enlargement in prayer at night. O a barn, or stable, hedge, or
any other place, is truly desirable, if God is there! Sometimes,
of late, my hopes of Zion's prosperity are more raised, than they
were in the summer. My soul seems to confide in God that he
will yet " shew forth his salvation" to his people, and make Zion
" the joy of the whole earth. O how excellent is the loving-kind-
ness of the Lord. My soul sometimes inwardly exults at the live-
ly thoughts of what God has already done for his church, and what
" mine eyes have seen of the salvation of God." It is sweet, to
hear nothing but spiritual discourse from God's children ; and sin-
ners " enquiring the way to Zion," saying, " What shall we do ?"
&c. Oh that 1 may see more of this blessed work !

Dec. 1. " Both morning and evening, I enjoyed some intense-
ness of soul in prayer, and longed for the enlargement of Christ's
kingdom in the world. My soul seems, of late, to ivait on God
for his blessing on Zion. Oh that religion might powerfully re-
vive !

Dec. 2. " Enjoyed not so much health of body, or fervour of
mind, as yesterday. If the chariot- wheels move with ease and
speed at any time, for a short space ; yet by and by they drive
heavily again. "Oh that I had the wings of a dove, that I might
fly away" from sin and corruption, and be at rest with God !

Dec. 3. " Rode home to my house and people. Suffered
much with extreme cold. — I trust, I shall ere long arrive safe at
my journey's end, where my toils shall cease.

Lord's day, Dec. 4. "Had but little sense of divine and hea-
venly things. My soul mourns over my barrenness. O how sad
is spiritual deadness!

Dec. 5. " Rode to Stockbridge. Was almost outdone with
the extreme cold. Had some refreshing meditations by the way;
but was barren, wandering, and lifeless, much of the day. Thus
my days roll away, with but little done for God ; and this is my
burden.

* The commissioners who employed him, had directed him to spend much time
this winter with Mr. Serjeant, to learn the language of the Indians ; which necessi-
tated him very often to ride, backward an J forwards, twenty miles through the un-
inhabited woods between Stockbridge and Kaunaumeek; which many times exposed
him to extreme hardship in the severe seasons of the winter.

180 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Dec. 6. "Was perplexed to see the vanity and levity of pro-
fessed Christians. Spent the evening with a Christian friend,
who was able in some measure to sympathize with me in my
spiritual conflicts. Was a little refreshed to find one with whom
I could converse of inward trials, ^c.

Dec. 7. " Spent the evening in perplexity, with a kind of
guilty indolence. When ! have no heart or resolution for God,
and the duties incumbent on me, I feel guilty of negligence and
mis-improvement of time. Certainly I ought to be engaged in
my work and business, to the utmost extent of my strength and
ability.

Dec. 8. " My mind was much distracted with different affec-
tions, I seemed to be at an amazing distance from God ; and
looking round in the world, to see if there was not some happi-
ness to be derived from it. God, and certain objects in the
world, seemed each to invite my heart and affections ; and my
soul seemed to be distracted between them. I have not been so
much beset with the world for a long time ; and that with rela-
tion to some particular objects, to which I thought myself most
dead. B>it even while I was desiring to please myself with any
thing below; guilt, sorrow and perplexity attended the first mo-
tions of desire. Indeed, 1 cannot see the appearance of pleasure
and happiness in the world, as I used to do : and blessed be God
for any habitual deadness to the world. — I found no peace, or de-
liverance from this distraction and perplexity of mind, till I found
access to the throne of grace : and as soon as I had any sense of
God, and things divine, the allurements of the world vanished,
and my heart was determined for God. But my soul mourned
over my folly, that I should desire any pleasure, but only in God.
God forgive my spiritual idolatry /''

The next thirteen days, he appears to have been continually in
deep concern about the improvement of precious time; and there
are many expressions of grief, that he improved time no better;
such as, " O what misery do I feel, when ' my thoughts rove af-
ter vanity ! I should be happy if always engaged for God ! O
wretched man that I am!" &e. Speaks of his being pained with
a sense of his barrenness, perplexed with his wanderings, longing
for deliverance from sin, mourning that time passed away, and so
little was done for God, &c. — On Tuesday, December 20, he
speaks of his being visited at Kaunaumeek by some under spiritu-
al concern.

Dec. 22. "Spent this day alone in fasting and praver, and
reading in God's word the exercises and deliverances of his chil-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 121

dren. Had, I trust, some exercise of faith, and realizing appre-
hension of divine power, grace, and holiness ; and also of the un-
changeabieness of God, that he is the same as when he delivered
his saints of old out of great tribulation. My soul was sundry
times in prayer enlarged "for God's church and people. Oh that
Zion might become the "joy of the whole earth!" It is better
to wait upon God with patience, than to put confidence in any
thing in this lower world. " My soul, wait thou on the Lord:
for " from him comes thy salvation."

Dec. 23. "Felt a little more courage and resolution in reli-
gion, than at some other times.

Dec. 24. "Had some assistance and longing desires after
sanctirication, in prayer this day; especially in the evening: was
sensible of my own weakness and spiritual impotency ; saw plain-
ly, that I should fall into sin. if God of his abundant mercy did
not " uphold my soul, and withhold me from evil." Oh that God
would uphold me by his free Spirit, and save me from the hour of
temptation.'*'1

Lord's day, Dec. 25. " Prayed much, in the morning, with a
feeling sense of my own spiritual weakness and insufficiency for
any duty. God gave me some assistance in preaching to the In-
dians; and especially in the afternoon, when I was enabled to
speak with uncommon plainness, freedom, and earnestness.
Blessed be God for any assistance granted to one so unworthy.
Afterwards felt some thankfulness ; but still sensible of bar-
renness.— Spent some time in the evening with one or two
persons under spiritual concern, and exhorting other to their
duty, &c.

Dec. 26. "Rode down to Stockbridge. Was very much fa-
tigued with my journey, wherein I underwent great hardships:
was much exposed and very wet by falling into a river. Spent
the day and evening without much sense of divine and heavenly
things; but felt guilty, grieved, and perplexed with wandering,
careless thoughts.

Dec. 27. "Had a small degree of warmth in secret prayer,
in the evening; but, alas! had but little spiritual life, and conse-
quently but little comfort. Oh, the pressure of a body of death!"

This day he wrote to his brother John, at Yale College, the
following letter.

Kaunaumeek, Dec. 27, 1743,
Dear Brother,

I long to see you, and to know how you fare in your journey
through a world of inexpressible sorrow; where we are com pas-

12J MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

sed about with "vanity, confusion, and vexation of spirit." I am
more weary of life, I think, than ever I was. The whole world
appears to me like a huge vacuum, a vast empty space, whence
nothing desirable, or atleast satisfactory, can possibly be derived;
and I long daily to die more and more to it; even though I obtain
not that comfort from spiritual things which I earnestly des re.
Worldly pleasures, such as flow from greatness, riches, hono rs,
and sensual gratifications, are infinitely worse than none. May
the Lord deliver us more and more from these vanities. I have
spent most of the fall and winter hitherto in a very weak state of
body; and sometimes under pressing inward trials and spiritual
conflicts; but " having obtained help from God, I continue to this
day;" and am now somewhat better in health, than I was sometime
ago. I find nothing more conducive to a life of Christianity, than
a diligent, industrious, and faithful improvement of precious time.
Let us then faithfully perform that business, which is allotted to
us by divine Providence, to the utmost of our bodily strength, and
mental vigour. Why should we sink, and grow discouraged, with
any particular trials and perplexities, which we are called to en-
counter in the world? Death and Eternity are just before us; a
few tossing billows more will waft us into the world of spirits, and
we hope, through infinite grace, into endless pleasures, and unin-
terrupted rest and peace. Let us then "run, with patience, the
race set before us," Heb, xii. 1,2. And, Oh, that we could de-
pend more upon the living God, and less upon our own wisdom
and strength! Dear brother, may the God of all grace com-
fort your heart, and succeed your studies, and make you an in-
strument of good to his people in your day. This is the constant
prayer of

" Your affectionate brother,

"David Brainerd."

Dec. 28. " Rode about six miles to the ordination of Mr. Hop-
kins. At the solemnity I was somewhat affected with a sense of
the greatness and importance of the work of a minister of Christ.
Afterwards was grieved to see the vanity of the multitude. In
the evening, spent a little time with some Christian friends, with
some degree of satisfaction ; but most of the time, I had rather
have been alone.

Dec. 29. "Spent the day mainly in conversing with friends ;
yet enjoyed little satisfaction, because I could find but kw dispos-
ed to converse of divine and heavenly things. Alas, what are
the things of this world, to afford satisfaction to the soul! — Near
night, returned to Stockbridge ; in secret, I blessed God for re-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 123

lirement, and that I am not always exposed to the company and
conversation of the wond. O that I could live -'in the secret of
God's presence !"

Dec. 30. "Was in a solemn, devout frame in the evening.
Wondered that earth, with all its charms, should ever allure me
in the least degree. Oh, that I could always realize the being and
holiness of God !

Dec. 31. "Rode from Stockbridge home to my house : the
air was clear and calm, but as cold as ever I felt it, or nearly. I
was in great danger of perishing by the extremity of the season. —
Was enabled to meditate much on the road.

Lord's day, Jan. 1, 1744. "In the morning, had some small
degree of assistance in prayer. Saw myself so vile and unworthy,
that I could not look my people in the face, when I came to preach.
O my meanness, folly, ignorance, and inward polution ! — In the
evening, had a little assistance in prayer, so that the duty was de-
lightful, rather than burdensome. Reflected on the goodness of
God to me in the past year, &c. Of a truth God has been kind
and gracious to me, though he has caused me to pass through
many sorrows; he has provided for me bountifully, so that 1 have
been enabled, in about fifteen months past, to bestow to charita-
ble uses about an hundred pounds New-England money, that I
can now remember.* Blessed be the Lord, that has so far used
me as his steward, to distribute a portion of his goods. May I al-
ways remember, that all I have comes from God. Blessed be the
Lord, that has carried me through all the toils, fatigues, and hard-
ships of the year past, as well as the spiritual sorrows and conflicts
that have attended it. O that I could begin this year ivith God,
and spend the whole of it to his glory, either in life or death !

Jan. 2. " Had some affecting sense of my own impotency and
spiritual weakness. — It is nothing but the power of God that keeps
me from all manner of wickedness. I see I am nothing, and can
do nothing without help from above. Oh, for divine grace ! In
the evening had some ardour of soul in prayer, and longing desires
to have God for my guide and safeguard at all times."

* Which was, I suppose, to the value of about one hundred and eighiy-five pounds
in our bills of the old tenor, as they now pass. — By this, as well as many other things
it is manifest, that his frequent melancholy did not arise from the consideration of
any disadvantage he was laid under to get a living in the world, by his expulsion
from the college.

121 MEMOIRS OF P.RAINERD.

The following Letter to his brother Israel, at Haddam, was writ-
ten this day.

Kaunaumeek, Jan. 2, 1743 — 4.

"my dear brother,

"There is but ow thing that deserves our highest care and
most ardent desires; and that is, that we may answer the great
end for which we were made, viz. to glorify that God, who has
given us our being and all our comforts, and do all the goad we
possibly can to our fllow-men, while we live in the world. Veri-
ly life is not worth the having, if it be not improved for this no -le
end and purpose. Yet, alas, how little is this thought of among
mankind! Most men seem to live to themselves without much re-
gard to the glory of God, or the good of their fellow creatures.
They earnestly desire, and eagerly pursue after the riches, the
honours, and the pleasures of life, as if they really supposed,
that wealth or greatness, or merriment, could make their immor-
tal souls happy. But alas ! what false and delusive dreams are
the^e ! And how miserable will those erelong be who are not
atvaked out of them, to see, that all their happiness consists in
living to God, and becoming "holy, as he is holy!" Oh, may
you never fall into the tempers and vanities, the sensuality and
folly of the present world ! You are by divine Providence, left as
it were alone in a wide world, to act for yourself: be sure then to
remember, thai it i? a world of temptation. You have no earthly
parents to be the means of forming your youth to piety and vir-
tue, by their pious examples, and seasonable counsels ; let this
then excite you with greater diligence and fervency to look up to
the Father of mercies for grace and assistance against all the vani-
ties of the world. If you would glorify God, or answer his just
expectations from you, and make your own soul happy in this
and the coming world, observe these few directions; though not
from a father, yet from a brother who is touched with a tender
concern for your present and future happiness.

"First; Resolve upon, and daily endeavour to practise a life of
seriousness and strict sobriety. The wise man will tell you the
great advantage of such a life, Eccl. vii. 3. Think of the life
of Christ; and when you can find that he was pleased with jesting
and vain merriment, then you may indulge it in yourself.

" Again ; be careful to make a good improvement of precious
time. When you cease from labour, fill up your time in reading,
meditation, and prayer; and while your hands are labouring, let
your heart be employed, as much as possible, in divine thoughts.

' Further ; Take heed that you faithfully perform the business
which you have to do in the world, from a regard to the commands

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 125

of God ; and not from an ambitious desire of being esteemed
better tban others. We should always look upon ourselves as
God's servants, placed in God's world, to do his work; and ac-
cordingly labour faithfully for him; not with a design to grow rich
and great, but to glorify God, and to do all the good we possibly

can.

" Again : Never expect any satisfaction or happiness from the
ivorid. If you hope for happiness in the world, hope for it from
God, and not from the world. Do not think you shall be more
happy if you live to such or such a state of life, if you live to be
yourself, to be settled in the world, or if you should gain an estate
in it : but look upon it that you shall then be happy, when you can
be constantly employed for God, and not for yourself; and desire
to live in this world, only to do and suffer what God allots to you.
When you can be of the spirit and temper of angels, who are wil-
ling to come down into this lower world, to perform what God
commands them, though their desires are heavenly, and not in the
least set on earthly things, then you will be of that temper which
you ought to have, Col. iii. 2.

" Once more ; Never think that you can live to God by your
oivn power or strength ; but always look to, and rely on him for
assistance, yea for all strength and grace. There is no greater
truth than this, that ' we can do nothing of ourselves ;' (John xv.
5. and 2 Cor. iii. 5.) yet nothing but our own experience can ef-
fectually teach it us. Indeed, we are a long time in learning, that
all our strength and salvation, is in God. This is a life which I
think no unconverted man can possibly live ; and yet it is a life
which every godly soul is pressing after, in some good measure.
Let it then be your great concern, thus to devote yourself artti
your all to God.

" I long to see you, that I may say much more to you than I
now can, for your benefit and welfare ; but I desire to commit you
to, and leave you with, the Father of mercies, and God of all
grace; praying that you may be directed safely through an evil
world, to God's heavenly kingdom.

1 am your affectionate loving brother,

DAVID BRAINERD.

Jan. 3. " Was employed much of the day in writing ; and spent
some time in other necessary employment. But my time passes
away so swiftly, that I am astonished when I reflect on it, and see
how little I do. My state of solitude does not make the hours
hang heavy upon my hands. O what reason of thankfulness have
I on account of this retirement ! I find, that I do not, and it seems

126 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD.

I cannot lead a Christian life, when I am abroad, and cannot spend
time in devotion, Christian conversation, and serious meditation,
as I should do. Those weeks that I am obliged now to be from
home, in order to learn the Indian tongue, are mostly spent in
perplexity and barrenness, without much sweet relish of divine
things ; and I feel myself a stranger at the throne of grace, for
want of more frequent and continued retirement. When 1 return
home, and give myself to meditation, prayer, and fasting, a new
scene opens to my mind, and my soul longs for mortification, self-
denial, humility, and divorcement from all the things of the world.
This evening, ray heart was somewhat warm and fervent in prayer
and meditation, so that I was loth to indulge sleep. Continued in
those duties till about midnight.

Jan. 4. "Was in a resigned and mortified temper of mind,
much of the day. Time appeared a moment, life a vapour, and
all enjoyments as empty bvrbbles, and fleeting blasts of wind.

Jan. 5. "Had a humbling and oppressive sense of my un-
worthiness. My sense of the badness of my own heart filled my
soul with bitterness and anguish ; which was ready to sink, as un-
der the weight of a heavy burden. Thus I spent the evening,
till late. Was somewhat intense and ardent in prayer,

Jon. 6. "Feeling ray extreme weakness, and want of grace,
the pollution of my soul, and danger of temptations on every
side, I set apart this day for fasting and prayer, neither eating nor
drinking from evening to evening, beseeching God to have mercy
on me. My soul intensely longed that the dreadful spots and
stains of sin might be washed away from it. Saw something of
the power and all-sufficiency of God. My soul seemed to rest
on his power and grace; longed for resignation to his will, and
mortification to all things here below. My mind was greatly fix-
ed on divine things : my resolutions for a life of mortification, con-
tinual watchfulness, self denial, seriousness and devotion, w^ere
strong arid fixed; my desires ardent and intense; my conscience
tender, and afraid of every appearance of evil. My soul grieved
with reflection on past levity, and want of resolution for God. I
solemnly renewed my dedication of myself to God, and longed
for grace to enable mc alw tys to keep covenant with him. Time
appeared verj short, eternity near; and a great name, either in or
after life, together with all earthly pleasures and profits, but an
empty bubble, a deluding dream.

Jan. 7. " Spent this day in seriousness, with steadfast resolu-
tions for God, and a life of mortification. Studied closely, till I
felt my bodily strength fail. Felt some degree of resignation to
God, with an acquiescence in his dispensations. Was grieved

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 127

ihat I could do so little for God before my bodily strength failed.
In the evening, though tired, was enabled to continue instant in
prayer for some time. Spent the time in reading, meditation,
and prayer, till the evening was far spent : was grieved to think
that I could not ivatch unto pruyer the whole night. But blessed
be God, heaven is a place of continual and incessant devotion,
though the earth is dull."

The six days following, he continued in the same happy frame
of mind ; enjoyed the same composure, calmness, resignation, ar-
dent desire, and sweet fervency of spirit, in a high degree, every
day, not one excepted. Thursday, this week, he kept as a day of
secret fasting and prayer.

Jan. 14. " This morning, enjoyed a most solemn season in
prayer : my soul seemed enlarged, and assisted to pour out itself
to God for grace, and for every blessing I wanted for myself, my
dear christian friends, and for the church of God ; and was so ena-
bled to see Him who is invisible, that my soul rested upon him for
the performance of every thing I asked agreeable to his will. It
was then my happiness to ' continue instant in prayer,' and I was
enabled to continue in it for near an hour. My soul was then
'strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.' Longed ex-
ceedingly for an angelic holiness and purity, and to have all my
thoughts, at all times, employed in divine and heavenly things.
O how unspeakably blessed it is, to feel a measure of that recti-
tude, in which we were at first created ! Felt the same divine as-
sistance in prayer sundry times in the day. My soul confided in
God for myself, and for his Zion ; trusted in divine power and
<race, that he would do glorious things in his church on earth, for
his own glory."

The next day he speaks of some glimpses which he had of the
divine glories, and of his being enabled to maintain his resolu-
tions in some measure; but complains, that he could not draw
near to God. He seems to be filled with trembling fears lest
he should return to a life of vanity, to please himself with some of
the enjoyments of this lower world ; and speaks of his being
much troubled, and feeling guilty, that he should address immor-
tal souls with no more ardency and desire of their salvation. On
Monday, he rode down to Stockbridge, when he was distressed
with extreme cold ; but notwithstanding, his mind was in a devout
and solemn frame in his journey. The four next days, he was very
ill, probably from the cold in his journey; yet he spent the time

125 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

in a solemn manner. On Friday evening, he visited Mr. Hop-
kins; and on Saturday, rode eighteen miles to Salisbury, where
he kept the Sabbath, and enjoyed considerable degrees of God's
gracious presence, assistance in duty, and divine comfort and re-
freshment, longing to give himself wholly to God, to be his for-
ever.

Jan. 23. "I think I never felt more resigned to God, nor so
dead to the world, in every respect, as now,* was dead to all
desire of reputation and greatness, either in life, or after death'
all I longed for, was to be holy, humble, crucified to the world, &c.

Jan. 24. "Near noon, rode over to Canaan. In the evening, I
was unexpectedly visited by a considerable number of people, with
whom I was enabled to converse profitably on divine things • took
pains to describe the difference between a regular and irregular
self-love ; the one consisting with a supreme love to God, but the
other not; the former uniting God's glory, and the soul's happi-
ness, that they become one common interest, but the latter dis-
joining and separating God's glory and man's happiness, seeking
the latter with a neglect of the former. Illustrated this by that
genuine love that is founded between the sexes; which is diverse
from that which is wrought up towards a person only by rational
argument, or hope of self-interest. Love is a pleasing passion, it
affords pleasure to the mind where it is; but yet, genuine love is
not, nor can be placed on any object with that design of pleasure
itself.^

On Wednesday he rode to Sheffield ; the next day, to Stock-
bridge ; and on Saturday, home to Kaunaumeek. though the sea-
son was cold and stormy : which journey was followed with ill-
ness and pain. It appears by this diarv, that he spent the time
while riding, in profitable meditations, and in lifting up his heart
to God; and he speaks of assistance, comfort and refreshment;
but still complains of barrenness, &c. His diary for the five next
days is full of the most heavy, bitter complaints; and he expres-
ses himself as full of shame and self-loathing for his lifeless tem-
per of mind and sluggishness of spirit, and as being in perplexity
and extremity, and appearing to himself unspeakably vile and
guilty before God, on account of some inward workings of cor-
ruption he found in his heart, fyc.

Feb. 2. "Spent this day in fasting and prayer; seeking the
presence and assistance of God, that he would enable me to over-
come all my corruptions, and spiritual enemies.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 129

Feb. 3. "Enjoyed more freedom and comfort than of late;
was engaged in meditation upon the different whispers of the vari-
ous powers and affections of a pious mind, exercised with a great
variety of dispensations: and could but write, as well as medi-
tate, on so entertaining a subject. I hope the Lord gave me some
true sense of divine things this day : but alas, how great and pres-
sing are the remains of indwelling corruption! I am now more
sensible than ever, that God alone is 'the author and finisher of
our faith,' i. e. that the whole and every part of sanctification, and
every good word, work, or thought, found in me, is the effect of
his power and grace ; that ' without him I can do nothing,' in the
strictest sense, and that, ' he works in us to will and to do of his
own good pleasure,' and from no other motive. O how amazing
it is that people can talk so much about men's power and good-
ness; when if God did not hold us back every moment, we should
be devils incarnate! This my bitter experience, for several days
last past, has abundantly taught me concerning myself."

The writing here referred to was the following. It was found
among his detached papers, and entitled by him "A Scheme of a
Dialogue, between the various powers and affections of the mind,
as they are found alternately whispering in the Godly soul.1''

"The understanding introduced, (1) As discovering its own
excellency, and capacity of enjoying the most sublime pleasure
and happiness. (2) As observing its desire equal to its capacity,
and incapable of being satisfied with any thing which will not fill
it to the utmost extent of its exercise. (3) As finding itself a de-
pendent thing, not self-sufficient; and consequently unable to spin
happiness, (as the spider spins its web) out of its own bowels.
This self-sufficiency observed to be the property and prerogative
of God alone, and not belonging to any created being. (4.) As
in vain seeking sublime pleasure, satisfaction, and happiness ade-
quate to its nature, amongst created beings. The search and
knowledge of the truth in the natural world allowed indeed to be
refreshing to the mind; but still failing to afford complete happi-
ness. (5) As discovering the excellency and glory of Go!, that
he is the fountain of goodness, and well-spring of happiness, and
every way fit to answer the enlarged desires and cravings of our
immortal souls.

2. The Will introduced, as necessarily, yet freely, choosing
this God for its supreme happiness and only portion ; fully com-
plying with the understanding's dictates; acquiescing in God as
the best good, in his will as the best rule for intelligent creatures;

130 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

rejoicing that God is in every respect just what he is ; and withal,
choosing and delighting to be a dependent creature, always sub-
ject to this God, not aspiring after self-sufficiency and supremacy,
but acquiescing in the contrary.

3. Ardent Love introduced, as passionately longing to please and
glorifv the divine Being, to be in every respect conformed to
him. nnd in that way to enjoy him. This love or desire repre-
sented as most genuine; not induced by mean and mercenary
views; not primarily springing from selfish hopes of salvation,
whereby the divine glories would be sacrificed to the idol self;
not arising from a slavish fear of divine anger in case of neglect,
nor vet from hopes o{ feeling the sweetness of that tender and
pleasant passion of love in one's own breast, but from a just
esteem of the beauteous object beloved. This love further rep-
resented, as attended with vehement longings after the enjoy-
ment of its object, but unable to find by what means.

4. " The understanding again introduced, as informing, (1.)
How God might have been enjoyed, yea. how he must necessari-
ly have been enjoyed, had not man sinned against him ; that as
there was knowledge, likcyiess and love, so there must needs be
enjovment, while there is no impediment. (2) How he may be
enjoyed in some measure now. viz. by the same knozoledge, be-
getting likeness and love, which will be answered with returns of
love, and the smiles of God's countenance, which are better than
life. (3) How God may be perfectly enjoyed, viz. by the soul's
perfect freedom from sin. This perfect freedom never obtained
till death ; and then not by any unaccountable means, or in any
unheard of manner; but the same by which it has obtained some
likeness to and fruition of God in this world, viz. a clear mani-
festation of him.

5. "Holy Desire appears and enquires why the soul may not
be perfectly holy, and so perfect in the enjoyment of God here ;
and expresses most insatiable thirstings after such a temper, and
such fruition, and most consummate blessedness.

6. " Understanding again appears, and informs, that God de-
signs that those whom he sanctifies in part here, and intends for
immortal glory, shall tarry awhile in this present evil world, that
their own experience of temptations, &c. may teach them how
great the deliverance is, which God has wrought for them, that
they may be swallowed up in thankfulness and admiration to eter-
nity ; as also that they may be instrumental of doing good to their
fellow men- Now if they were perfectly holy, &c. a world of
sin would not be a fit habitation for them : and further, such man-
ifestations of God as are necessary completely to sanctify the
soul, would be insupportable to the body, so that we cannot see
God and live.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 131

?. "Holy Impatience* is next introduced, complaining of the
feins and sorrows of life, and almost repining at the distance of a
state of perfection ; uneasy to see and feel the hours hang so dull
and heavy, and almost concluding that the temptations, hardships,
disappointments, imperfections, and tedious employments of iife,
will never come to a happy period.

8. " Tender Conscience comes in, and meekly reproves the
complaints of Impatience; urging how careful and watchful we
ought to be, lest we should offend the divine Being with com-
plaints; alleging also the fitness of our waiting patiently upon
God for all we want, and that in a way of doing and suffering;
and at the same time mentioning the barrenness of the soul, how
much precious time is misimproved, and how little it has enjoyed
of God, compared with what it might have done; as also suggest-
ing how frequently impatient complaints spring from nothing bet-
ter than self-love, want of resignation, and a greater reverence
of the divine Being.

9. " Judgment or sound mind next appears, and duly weighs
the complaints of Impatience and the gentle admonitions of ten-
der Conscience, and impartially determines between them. On
the one hand, it concludes, that we may always be impatient with
sin ; and supposes that we may be also with such sorrow, pain,
and discouragement, as hinder our pursuit of holiness, though
they arise from the weakness of nature. It allows us to be im-
patient of the distance at which we stand from a state of perfec-
tion and blessedness. It further indulges impatience at the delay
of time; when we desire the period of it for no other end, than
that we may with angels be employed in the most lively spiritual
acts of devotion, and in giving all possible glory to Him that lives
forever. With temptations and sinful imperfections, it thinks we
may justly be uneasy; and with disappointments also, at least
those which relate to our hopes of communion with God, and
growing conformity to him. As to the tedious employments and
hardships of life, it supposes some longing for the end of them
not inconsistent with a spirit of faithfulness, and a cheerful dispo-
sition to perform the one and endure the other. It supposes that
a faithful servant, who fully designs to do all he possibly can, may
still justly long for the evening ; and that no rational man would
blame his kind and tender spouse, if he perceived her longing to
be with him, while yet faithfulness and duty to him might still in-
duce her to yield for the present, to remain at a painful distance
from him. On the other hand, it approves of the caution, care,

* That is, more properly, impatience in a holy soul, and in reference to a holy end ;
but impatience itself is not holy, except we take the term in a less proper sense, as
our author evidently does.

132 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD.

and watchfulness of tender Conscience, lest the divine Being should
be offended with impatient complaints ; it acknowledges the fit-
ness of our ivaiting upon God, in a way of patient doing and suf-
fering; but su pposes this very consistent with ardent desires to de-
part, and to be with Christ. It owns it fit that we should always
remember our own barrenness, and thinks also that we should be
impatient of it, and consequently long for a state of freedom from
it; and this, not so much that we may feel the happiness of it, but
that God may have the glory. It grants, that impatient com-
plaints often spring from self-love, and want of resignation and hu-
mility. Such as these it disapproves : and determines we should
be impatient only of absence from God, and distance from that
state and temper wherein we may most glorify him.

10. "Godly Sorrow introduced, as making her sad moan, not
so much that she is kept from the free possession and full enjoy-
ment of happiness, but that God must be dishonoured; the soul
brin-4 still in a world of sin, and itself imperfect. She here, with
grief, counts over past faults, present temptations, and fears from
the future.

11. ' Hope or holy Confidence appears, and seems persuaded
that • nothing shall ever separate the soul from the love of God
in Christ Jesus.' It expects divine assistance and grace sufficient
for all the doing and suffering work of time, and that death will
ere long put a happy period to all sin and sorrow ; and so takes
occasion to rejoice.

12. '-Godly Fear, or holy Jealousy here steps in, and suggests
some timorous apprehensions of the danger of deception ; men-
tions the deceitfulness of the heart, the great influence of irregular
self-love in a fallen creature; inquires whether itself is not likely
to have failen in with delusion, since the mind is so dark, and so
little of God appears to the soul, and queries whether all its
hopes of persevering grace may not be presumption, and wheth-
er its confident expectations of meeting death as a friend, may
not issue in disappointment.

13. ' Hereupon Reflection appears, and reminds the person of
his past experiences; as to the preparatory work of conviction
and humiliation; the view he then had of the impossibility of
salvation, from himself or any created arm ; the manifestation
he has likewise had of the glory of God in Jesus Christ; how he
then admired that glory, and chose that God for his only portion,
because of the excellency and amiableness he discovered in him •
not from slavish fear of being damned, if he did not, nor from
base and mercenary hopes of saving himself; but from a just es-
teem ol that beauteous and glorious object; as also how he had
lrom time to time rejoiced and acquiesced in God for what he is

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 133

in himself; being delighted, that he is infinite in holiness, jus-
tice, power, and sovereignty, as well as in mercy, goodness, and
love ; how he has likewise, scores of times, felt his soul mourn
for sin, for this very reason, because it is contrary and grievous to
God; yea, how he has mourned over one vain and impertinent
thought, when he has been so far from fear of the divine vin-
dictive wrath for it, that on the contrary he has enjoyed the high-
est assurance of the divine everlasting love : how he has, from
time to time, delighted in the commands of God, for their own
purity and perfection, and longed exceedingly to be conformed
to them, and even to be 'holy, as God is holy ;' and counted it
present heaven, to be of a heavenly temper; how he has fre-
quently rejoiced, to think of being forever subject to, and depen-
dent on, God ; accounting it infinitely greater happiness to glori-
fy God in a state of subjection to, and dependence on him, than
to be a god himself: and how heaven itself would be no heaven
to him, if he could not there be every thing that God would have
him be.

14. " Upon this spiritual Sensation, being awaked, comes in
and declares, that she now feels and 'tastes that the Lord is gra-
cious;' that he is the only supreme good, the only soul satisfy ing
happiness; that he is a complete, self-sufficient, and almighty
portion. She whispers, ' Whom have 1 in heaven but this God,'
this dear and blessed portion ? ' and there is none upon earth I de-
sire beside him.' O it is heaven, to please him, and to be just
what he would have me be ! Oh that my soul were ' holy, as God
is holy !' Oh that it were ' pure, as Christ is pure ;' and ' perfect,
as my Father in heaven is perfect!' These are the sweetest com-
mands in God's book, comprising all others; and shall I break
them ? must I break them ? am I under a fatal necessity of it, as
long as I live in this world ? O my soul! wo, wo is me, that I am
a sinner! because I now necessarily grieve and offend this blessed
God, who is infinite in goodness and grace. O methinks, should
he punish me for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep
as to offend him; but, though I sin continually, he continually re-
peats his kindness towards me ! O methinks, I could bear any
suffering; but how can I bear to grieve and dishonour this bles-
sed God ! How shall I give ten thousand times more honour to
him ? What shall I do, to glorify and worship this best of beings ?
Oh that I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to his service
for ever ! Oh that 1 could give up myself to him, so as never
more to attempt to be my own, or to have any will or affections
that are not perfectly conformed to his ! But C^alas, alas ! I can-
not, I feel 1 cannot, be thus entirely devoted to God ! I cannot
live and sin not. O ye angels, do ye glorify him incessantly ; if
possible, exert yourselves still more, in more lively and ardent

134 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

devotion ; if possible, prostrate yourselves still lower before the
throne of the blessed King of heaven. I long to bear a part
with you. and if it were possible, to help you. Yet when we
have done, we shall not be able to offer the ten thousandth part
of the homage lie is worthy of. While Spiritual Sensation whis-
pered these things, Fear and Jealousy were greatly overcome ; and
the soul replied, 'Now I know and am assured,' &c. and again,
it welcomed death as a friend, saying, 'O death where is thy
sting !' &ic.

15. k' Finally, holy Resolution concludes the discourse, fixedly
determining to follow hard after God, and continually to pursue
a life of conformity to him ; and the better to pursue this, enjoin-
ing it on the soul always to remember, that God is the only source
of happiness; that his will is the only rule of rectitude to an in-
telligent creature; that earth has nothing in it desirable for itself,
or any further than God is seen in it: and that the knowledge of
God in Christ, begetting and maintaining love, and mortifying
sensual and fleshly appetites, is the way to be holy'on earth, and
so to be attempered to the complete holiness of the heavenly
world."

Feb. 4. " Enjoyed some degree of freedom and spiritual re-
freshment ; was enabled to pray with some fervency, and longing
desires of Zion's prosperity, and my faith and hope seemed to
take hold of God, for the performance of what I was enabled to
plead for. Sanctification in myself, and the ingathering of God's
elect, were all my desire; and "the hope of their accomplishment,
all my joy.

Lord's day, Feb. 5. " Was enabled in some measure to rest
and confide in God, and to prize his presence and some glimpses
of the light of his countenance, above my necessary food. —
Thought myself, after the season of weakness, temptation, and
desertion I endured the last week, to be somewhat like Sampson,
when his locks began to grow again. Was enabled to preach to
my people with more life and warmth, than I have for some
weeks past.

Feb. 6. "This morning, my soul again was strengthened in
God, and found some sweet repose in him in prayer ; longing es-
pecially for the complete mortification of sensuality and pride,
and for resignation to God's dispensations, at all times, as through
grace, I felt it at this time. I did not desire deliverance from any
difficulty that attends my circumstances, unless God was willing.
O how comfortable is this temper ! Spent most of the day in read-
ing God s word, in writing, and prayer. Enjoyed repeated and
Irequent comfort and intenseness of soul in prayer through the

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 135

day. In the evening, spent some hours in private conversation
with my people ; and afterwards, felt some warmth in secret
prayer.

Feb. 7. " Was much engaged in some sweet meditations on
the powers and affections of the godly soul in the pursuit of their
beloved object ; wrote something of the native language of spir-
itual sensation, in its soft and tender whispers; declaring, that it
now ' feels and tastes, that the Lord is gracious ; that he is the
supreme good, the only soul satisfying happiness : that he is a
complete, sufficient, and almighty portion : saying,

' Whom have I in Heaven but thee ? and there is none upon earth
that I desire beside this blessed portion. O, I feel that it is hea-
ven to please him, and to be just what he would have me to be !
Oh that my soul were holy, as he is holy ! Oh that it were pure,
even as Christ is pure ; and perfect as my Father in heaven is per-
fect ! These I feel are the sweetest commands in God's book,
comprising all others. And shall I break them! must I break
them ! am I under the necessity of it as long as I live in the
world! O my soul, wo, wo is me, that I am a sinner, because I
now necessarily grieve and offend this blessed God, who is infi-
nite in goodness and grace ! O methinks if he would punish me
for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep to offend him:
but though I sin continually, yet he continually repeats his kind-
ness to me ! O methinks I could bear any sufferings; but how can
I bear to grieve and dishonour this blessed God ! How shall I
yield ten thousand times more honour to him ? What shall I do
to glorify and worship this best of beings? Oh that I could conse-
crate myself, soul and body, to his service forever ! Oh that I
could give up myself to him, so as never more to attempt to be
my own, or to have any will or affections that are not perfectly-
conformed to him ! But, alas, alas ! 1 find I cannot be thus entire-
ly devoted to God ; I cannot live, and not sin. O ye angels, do
ye glorify him incessantly; and if possible, prostrate yourselves
lower before the blessed King of heaven ! I long to bear a part
with you ; and, if it were possible, to help you. O when we
have done all that we can, to all eternity, we shall not be able to
offer the ten thousandth part of the homage which the glorious
God deserves!'

" Felt something spiritual, devout, resigned, and mortified to
the world, much of the day ; and especially towards and in the
evenino-. Blessed be God, that he enables me to love him for
himself.

Feb. 8. " Was in a comfortable frame of soul, most of the
day ; though sensible of, and restless under, spiritual barrenness.
1 find that both mind and body are quickly tired with intenseness

136 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NEKD.

and fervour in the things of God. Oh that I could be as inces-
sant as angels in devotion and spiritual fervour.

Feb. 9. " Observed this day as a day of fasting and prayer,
intrcating of God to bestow upon me his blessing and grace ; es-
pecially to enable me to live a life of mortification to the world,
as well as of resignation and patience. Enjoyed some realizing
sense of divine power and goodness in prayer, several times ; and
was enabled to roll the burden of myself, and friends, and Zion,
upon the goodness and grace of God; but, in the general, was
more dry and barren than I have usually been of late, upon such
occasions.

Feb. 10. "Was exceedingly oppressed, most of the day, with
shame, grief, and fear, under a sense of my past folly, as well as
present barrenness aud coldness. When God sets before me my
past misconduct, especially any instances of misguided zeal, it
sinks my soul into shame and confusion, makes me afraid of a
shaking leaf. My fear is such as the prophet Jeremy complains
of, Jer. xx. 10. 1 have no confidence to hold up my face, even
before my fellow worms ; but only when my soul confides in God,
and I find the sweet temper of Christ, the spirit of humility, so-
lemnity and mortification, and resignation, alive in my soul. But,
in the evening, was unexpectedly refreshed in pouring out my
compluint to God; my shame and fear was turned into a sweet
composure and acquiescence in God.

Feb. 11. " Felt much as yesterday : enjoyed but little sensible
communion with God.

Lord's day., Feb. 12. " My soul seemed to confide in God. and
to repose itself on him ; and had intense longings after God in
prayer. Enjoyed some divine assistance, in the forenoon, in
preaching ; but in the afternoon, was more perplexed with shame,
<Scc. Afterwards, found some relief in prayer; loved, as a fee-
ble, afflicted, despised creature, to cast myself on a God of infi-
nite grace and goodness, hoping for no happiness but from him.

Feb. 13. " Was calm and sedate in morning devotions; and
my soul seemed to rely on God. Rode to Stockbridge, and en-
joyed some comfortable meditations by the way ; had a more re-
freshing taste and relish of heavenly blessedness, than 1 have en-
joyed for many months past. I have many times, of late, felt as
ardent desires of holiness as ever; but not so much sense of the
sweetness and unspeakable pleasure of the enjoyments and em-
ployments of heaven. My soul longed to leave earth, and bear
a part with angels in their celestial employments. My soul said,
' Lord it is good to be here ;" and it appeared to be better to die,
than to lose the relish of these heavenly delights."

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 137

A sense of divine things seemed to continue with him, in a les-
ser degree, through the next day. On Wednesday, he was, by
some discourse which he heard, cast into a melancholy gloom, that
operated much in the same manner as his melancholy had for-
merly done, when he came first to Kaunaumeek; the effects of
which seemed to continue in some degree the six following days,

Feb. 22. " In the morning, had as clear a sense of the ex-
ceeding pollution of my nature, as ever I remember to have had
in my life. I then appeared to myself inexpressibly loathsome
and defiled. Sins of childhood, of early youth, and such follies
as I had not thought of for years together, as I remember, came
now fresh to my view, as if committed but yesterday, and appear-
ed in the most odious colours ; they appeared more in number
than the hairs of my head ; yea, they ' went over my head as a
heavy burden.' In the evening, the hand of faith seemed to be
strengthened in God ; my soul seemed to rest and acquiesce in
him ; was supported under my burdens, reading the cxxvth psalm:
and found that it was sweet and comfortable to lean on God.

Feb. 23. "Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some assist-
ance.— There is a God in heaven who over-rules all things for
the best; and this is the comfort of my soul: " I had fainted un-
less I had believed to see the goodness of God in the land of the
living," notwithstanding present sorrows. — In the evening enjoy-
ed some freedom in prayer, for myself, friends, and the church
of God,

Feb. 24. " Was exceedingly restless and perplexed under a
sense of mis-improvement of time ; mourned to see time pass
away ; felt in the greatest hurry ; seemed to have every thing to
do: yet could do nothing, but only grieve and groan under my
ignorance, unprofitableness, meanness, the foolishness of my
actions and thoughts, the pride and bitterness of some past
frames, all which at this time appeared to me in lively colours,
and filled me with shame. I could not compose my mind to any
profitable studies, by reason of this pressure. And the reason,
I judge, why I am not allowed to study a great part of my time,
is, because I am endeavouring to lay in such a stock of knowledge
as shall be a self-sufficiency. — I know it to be my indispensable
duty to study, and qualify myself in the best manner 1 can for
public service : but this is my misery, I naturally study and pre-
pare, that I may " consume it upon my lusts1' of pride and self-
confidence."

He continued in much the same frame of uneasiness at the mis
improvement of time, and pressure of spirit under a sense of

133 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

vileness, unprofitableness, &cc. for the six following days; except-
ing some interval? of calmness and composure, in resignation to,
and confidence in God.

March 2. ''• Was most of the day employed in writing on a
divine subject. Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some small
degree of assistance. But in the evening, God was pleased to
grant me divine sweetness in prayer; especially in the duty of
intercession. I think, I never felt so much kindness and love to
those who, I have reason to think, are my enemies — though at
that time 1 found such a disposition to think the best of all,
that I scarce knew how to think that any such thing as enmity
and hatred lodged in my soul ; it seemed as if all the world
must needs he friends — and never prayed with more freedom and
delight, for myself, or dearest friend, than I did now for my en-
emies.

March 3. " In the morning, spent (I believe) an hour in
prayer, with great intenseness and freedom, and with the most
soft and tender affection towards mankind. I longed that those
who, 1 have reason to think, owe me ill will, might be eternally
happy. It seemed refreshing to think of meeting them in heaven,
how much soever they had injured me on earth : had no disposi-
tion to insist upon any confession from them, in order to reconcil-
iation, and the exercise of love and kindness to them. O it is
an emblem of heaven itself, to love all the world with a love of
kindness, forgiveness, and benevolence ; to feel our souls-sedate.
mild and meek ; to be void of all evil surmisings and suspicions,
and scarce able to think evil of any man upon any occasion ; to
find our hearts simple, open, and free, to those that look upon us
with a different eye! — Prayer was so sweet an exercise to me,
that I knew not how to cease, lest I should loose the spirit of
prayer. Felt no disposition to eat or drink, for the sake of the
pleasure of it, hut only to support my nature, and fit me for di-
vine service. Could not be content without a very particular
mention of a great number of dear friends at the throne of grace:
as also the particular circumstances of many, so far as they were
known.

/.- rdh day, March 4. " In the morning, enjoyed the same in-
tenseness in prayer as yesterday morning, though not in so great
a degree : felt the same spirit of love, universal benevolence.
forgiveness, humility, resignation, mortification to the world, and
composure of mind, as then. My soul rested in God; and I found
! wanted no other refuge or friend. While my soul thus trusts in
God, all thing? seem to be at peace with me, even the stones of

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 139

ihe earth : but when I cannot apprehend and confide in God, all
things appear with a different aspect."

Through the /bur next days, he complains of barrenness, want
of holy confidence in God, stupidity, wanderings of mind, <szc. and
speaks of oppression of mind under a sense of exceeding mean-
ness, past follies, as well as present workings of corruption. On
Friday, he seems to have been restored to a considerable degree
of the same excellent frame, which he enjoyed the Saturday be-
fore.

March 10. " In the morning, felt exceeding dead to the
world, and all its enjoyments. I thought I was ready and willing
to give up life and all its comforts, as soon as called to it; and
yet then had as much comfort of life as almost ever I had. Life
itself now appeared but an empty bubble; the riches, honours,
and common enjoyments of life appeared extremely tasteless. I
longed to be perpetually and entirely crucified to all things here
below, by the cross of Christ. My soul was sweetly resigned to
God's disposal of me, in every regard; and I saw that nothing
had happened but what was best for me. I confided in God. that
he would never have me, though I should " walk through the val-
ley of the shadow of death." It was then my meat and drink to
be holy, to live to the Lord, and die to the Lord. And I thought
that I then enjoyed such a heaven, as far exceeded the most sub-
lime conceptions of an unregenerate soul ; and even unspeakably
beyond what I myself could conceive of at another time. I did
not wonder that Peter said, " Lord, it is good to be here," when
thus refreshed with divine glories. My soul was full of love and
tenderness in the duty of intercession ; especially felt a most
sweet affection to some precious godly ministers, of my acquaint-
ance. Prayed earnestly for dear Christians, and for those I have
reason to fear are my enemies ; and could not have spoken a
word of bitterness, or entertained a bitter thought, against the
vilest man living. Had a sense of my own great, unworthiness.
My soul seemed to breathe forth love and praise to God afresh,
when I thought he would let his children love and receive me as
one of their brethren and fellow citizens. When I thought of

m o

their treating me in that manner, I longed to lie at their feet ; and
could think of no way to express the sincerity and simplicity of
my love and esteem of them, as being much better than myself.
Towards night, was very sorrowful ; seemed to myself the worst
creature living; and could not pray, nor meditate, nor think of
holding up my face before the world. — Was a little relieved in
prayer, in the evening ; but longed to get on my knees, and ask

140 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

forgiveness of every body that ever had seen any thing amiss in
my past conduct, especially in my religious zeal. Was afterwards
much perplexed, so that I could not sleep quietly.

Lord's day, March II." My soul was in some measure strength-
ened in God, in morning devotion : so that I was released from
trembling fear and distress. Preached to my people from the
parahle of the sower, Matth. xiii. and enjoyed some assistance,
both parts of the day ; had some freedom, affection, and fervency
in addressing my poor people ; longed that God should take hold
of their hearts, and make them spiritually alive. And indeed I
had so much to say to them, that I knew not how to leave off
speaking."

This was the last Sabbath in which he ever performed public
service at Kaunaumeek, and these the last sermons which he ev-
er preached there. It appears by his diary, that while he contin-
ued with these Indians, he took great pains with them, and did it
with much discretion ; but the particular manner how, has been
omitted for brevity's sake.

March 12. " In the morning, was in a devout, tender, and Iov-
ine frame of mind ; and was enabled to cry to God, I hope, with a
child-like spirit, with importunity, resignation, and composure of
mind. My spirit was full of quietness, and love to mankind ; and
longed that peace should reign on the earth ; was grieved at the
very thoughts of a fiery, angry, and intemperate zeal in religion ;
mourned over past follies in that regard ; and confided in God for
strength and grace sufficient for my future work and trials. Spent
the day mainly in hard labour, making preparation for my intend-
ed journey.

March 13. " Felt my soul going forth after God sometimes ;
but not with such ardency as I desired. In the evening, was en-
abled to continue instant in prayer, for some considerable time
together ; and especially had respect to the journey I designed to
enter upon, with the leave of divine providence, on the morrow.
Enjoyed some freedom and fervency, intreating that the divine
presence might attend me in every place where my business might
lead me; and had a particular reference to the trials and temp-
tations to which I apprehend I might be more eminently exposed
in particular places. Was strengthened and comforted ; although
I was before very weary. Truly the joy of the Lord is strength
and life.

March 14. " Enjoyed some intenseness of soul in prayer, re-
peating my petitions for God's presence in every place where I
expected to be in my journey. • Besought the Lord that I might

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 141

not be too much pleased and amused with dear friends and ac-
quaintance, in one place and another. Near ten, set out on my
journey ; and near night came to Stockbridge.

March 15. Rode down to Sheffield. Here I met a messen-
ger from East Hampton on Long-Island ; who. by the unanimous
vote of that large town, was sent to invite me thither, in order to
settle wth that people, where I had been before frequently invi-
ted. Seemed more at a loss what was my duty, than before ; when
I heard of the great difficulties of that place, I was much concern-
ed and grieved, and felt some desire to comply with their re-
quest ; but knew not what to do : endeavoured to commit the
case to God."

The two next days, he went no further than Salisbury, being
much hindered by the rain. When he came there, he was much
indisposed. He speaks of comfortable and profitable conversa-
tion with Christian friends, on these days.

Lord's day, March 18. " [At Salisbury.] Was exceeding weak
and faint, so that I could scarce walk : but God was pleased to
afford me much freedom, clearness, and fervency in preaching:
I have not had the like assistance in preaching to sinners for many
months past. Here another messenger met me, and informed me
of the vote of another congregation, to give me an invitation to
come among them upon probation, for settlement.* Was some-
what exercised in mind with a weight and burden of care. Oh
that God would "send forth faithful labourers into his harvest!"

After this he went forward on his journey towards New- York
and New-Jersey : in which he proceeded slowly ; performing
his journey under great degrees of bodily indisposition. Howev-
er, he preached several times by the way, being urged by friends,
in which he had considerable assistance. He speaks of comfort
in conversation with Christian friends, from time to time, and of
various things in the exercises and frames of his heart, which
shew much of a divine influence on his mind in this journey : but
yet complains of the things that he feared, viz. a decline of his
spiritual life, or vivacity in religion, by means of his constant re-
moval from place to place, and want of retirement'; and com-
plains bitterly of his unworthiness, deadness. &c. He came to
New-York on Wednesday, March 28, and to Elizabeth-Town on
the Saturday following, where it seems he waited till the commis-
sioners came together.

* This congregation was that at Millington, near Hacklam. They were very ear-
nestly desirous of his coming among them.

i i I MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

April 5. i% Was again much exercised with weakness, and
with pain in my head. Attended on the commissioners in their
meeting. t Resolved to go on still with the Indian affair, if divine
providence permitted ; although I had before felt some inclina-
tion to go to East-Hampton, where I was solicited to go."

By the invitations which Braixerd had lately received, it ap-
pears, that it was not from necessity, or for want of opportunities
to settle in the ministry amongst the English, notwithstanding the
disgrace he had been laid under at college, that he was deter-
mined to forsake all the outward comforts to be enjoyed in the
English settlements, to go and spend his life among the savages,
and endure the difficulties and self-denials of an Indian mission.
He had, just as he was leaving Kaunaumeek, had an earnest in-
vitation to a settlement at East-Hampton on Long-Island, the
fairest, pleasantest town on the whole island, and one of its larg-
est and most wealthy parishes. The people there were unani-
mous in their desires to have him for their pastor, and for a long
time continued in an earnest pursuit of what they desired, and
were hardly brought to relinquish their endeavours, and give up
their hopes of obtaining him. Besides, the invitation which he
had to Millington, was near his native town, and in the midst of
his friends. Nor did Braixerd choose the business of a missiona-
ry to the Indians, rather than accept of those invitations, because
he was unacquainted with the difficulties and sufferings which at-
tended such a service ; for he had had experience of these diffi-
culties in summer and winter; having spent about a twelvemonth
in a lonely desert among these savages, where he had gone*through
extreme hardships, and been the subject of a train of outward and
inward sorrows, which were now fresh in his mind. Notwith-
standing all these things, he chose still to go on with this business :
and that, although the place to which he was now going, was at
a much greater distance from most of his friends, acquaintance,
and native land.

After this, he continued two or three days in New-Jersey, very-
ill ; and then returned to New- York ; and from thence into New-
England ; and went to his native town of Haddam, where he ar-
rived on Saturday, April 14. And he continues still his bitter

t The Indians at Kaunaumeek being but few in number, and Brainerd having
now been labouring among them about a year, and having prevailed upon them to
be willing to leave kaunaumeek, and remove to Stockbridge, to live constantly nn-
ler Mr. Sergeant's ministry ; he thought he might now do more service for Christ
among the Indians elsewhere : and therefore went this journey to New-Jersey to
lay the matter before the commissioners ; who met at Elizabeth- Town, on the occa-
sion, and determined thai he should forthwith leave Kaunaumeek, and go to the Del-
aware Indians.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 143

complaints of want of retirement. While he was in New- York,
he says thus, " O it is not the pleasures of the world which can
comfort me ! If God deny his presence, what are the pleasures
of the city to me ? One hour of sweet retirement where God is,
is better than the whole world." And he continues to complain
of his ignorance, meanness, and unworthiness. However, he
speaks of some seasons of special assistance and divine sweetness.
He spent some days among his friends at East-Hampton and Mil-
lington.

April 17. "Rode to Millington again; and felt perplexed
when I set out ; was feeble in body, and weak in faith. I was go-
ing to preach a lecture 5 and feared 1 should never have assistance
enough to get through. But contriving to ride alone, at a dis-
tance from the company that was going, I spent the time in lifting
up my heart to God. Had not gone far before my soul was
abundantly strengthened with those words, " If God be for us.
who can be against us ?" I went on, confiding in God ; and fear-
ing nothing so much as self-confidence. In this frame I went to
the house of God, and enjoyed some assistance. Afterwards fell
the spirit of love and meekness in conversation with some friends.
Then rode home to my brother's : and in the evening, singing
hymns with friends, my soul seemed to melt : and in prayer af-
terwards, enjoyed the exercise of faith, and was enabled to be
fervent in spirit : found more of God's presence, than I have done
any time in my late wearisome journey. Eternity appeared very
near; my nature was very weak, and seemed ready to be dis-
solved ; the sun declining, and the shadows of the evening draw-
ing on apace. O I longed to fill up the remaining moments all
for God ! Though my body was so feeble, and wearied with
preaching, and much private conversation, yet I wanted to sit up
all night to do something for God. To God, the giver of these
refreshments, be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

April 18. " Was very weak, and enjoyed but little spiritual
comfort. Was exercised with one who cavilled against original
sin. May the Lord open his eyes to see the fountain of sin in
himself!"

After this, he visited several ministers in Connecticut; and
then travelled towards Kaunaumeek, and came to Mr. Sergeant's
at Stockbridge, Thursday, April 26. He performed this journey in
a very weak state of body. The things he speaks of, appertain-
ing to the. frames and exercises cf his mind, are at some times
deadness and want of spiritual comfort ; at other times, resting in
God, spiritual sweetness in conversation, engagedness in medita-

144 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

tion on the road, assistance in preaching, rejoicing to think that
so much more of his work was done, and he so much nearer to the
eternal world. And he once and again speaks of a sense of great
ignorance and spiritual pollution.

April 27 and 28. "Spent some time in visiting friends, and
discoursing with my people, (who were, now moved down from
their own place to Mr. Sergeant's) and found them very glad to
see me returned. Was exercised in my mind with a sense of my
own unworthiness.

Lord's day, April 29. Preached for Mr. Sergeant both parts
of the day, from Rev. xiv. 4. These are they which were not defiled,
iy-c. Enjoyed some freedom in preaching, though not much spir-
ituality. In the evening, my heart was in some measure lifted up
in thankfulness to God for any assistance.

April 30. " Rode to Kaunaumeek, but was extremely ill ; did
not enjoy the comfort I hoped for in my own house.

May 1. " Having received new orders to go to a number of
Indians on Delaware river in Pennsylvania, and my people here
being mostly removed to Mr. Sergeant's I this day took all my
clothes, books, &c. and disposed of them, and set out for Dela-
ware river: but made it my way to return to Mr. Sergeant's,
which I did this day, just at night. Rode several hours in the
rain through the howling wilderness, although I was so disorder-
ed in bodv, that little or nothing but blood came from me."

He continued at Stockbridge the next day, and on Thursday
rode a little way, to .Sheffield, under a great degree of illness ;
but with encouragement and cheerfulness of mind under his fa-
tigues. On Friday, he rode to Salisbury, and continued there till
after the Sabbath. He speaks of his soul's being, some part of
this time, refreshed in conversation with some christian friends,
about their heavenly home, and their journey thither. At other-
times, he speaks of himself as exceedingly perplexed with bar-
renness and deadness, and has this exclamation : " O that time
should pass with so little done for God!" On Monday he rode to
Sharon; and speaks of himself as distressed at the consideration
of the mis-improvement of time.

May 8. " Set out from Sharon in Connecticut, and travelled
about forty-five miles to a place called Fish/all ;* and lodged
there. Spent much of my time, while riding, in prayer, that God
would go with me to Delaware. My heart sometimes was ready

* A place in New- York government, near the Hudson, on the West side of the
iver.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 145

to sink with the thoughts of my work, and going alone in the wil-
derness, I knew not where : but still it was comfortable, to think,
that others of God's children had " wandered about in caves and
dens of the earth;" and Abraham, when he was called to go forth,
" went out, not knowing whither he went." Oh that I might fol-
low after God !"

The next day, he went forward on his journey ; crossed the
Hudson, and went to Goshen in the Highlands ; and so travelled
across the woods, from the Hudson to the Delaware, about a hun-
dred miles, through a desolate and hideous country, ab . e New-
Jersey; where were very few settlements : in which journey he
suffered much fatigue and hardship. He visited some Indians in
the way, and discoursed with them concerning Christianity. Was
considerably melancholy and disconsolate, being alone in a stra _re
wilderness. On Saturday, he came to a settlement of Irish and
Dutch people, about twelve miles above the Forks of Delaware.

LonPs day, May 13. " Rose early ; felt very poorly after my
long journey, and after being wet arid fatigued. Was very mel-
ancholy; have scarcely ever seen such a gloomy morning in my
life ; there appeared to be no Sabbath; the children were all at
play ; I a stranger in the wilderness, and knew not where to go:
and all circumstances seemed to conspire to render my affairs
dark and discouraging. Was disappointed respecting an inter-
preter, and heard that the Indians were much scattered. O I
mourned after the presence of God, and seemed like a creature
banished from his sight! yet he was pleased to support my sink-
ing soul, amidst all my sorrows ; so that I never entertained any
thought of quitting my business among the poor Indians; but was
comforted, to think, that death would ere long set me free from
these distresses. Rode about three or four miles to the Irish peo-
ple, where I found some that appeared sober and concerned about
religion. My heart then began to be a little encouraged :
went and preached, first to the Irish, and then to the Indians: and
in the evening, was a little comforted ; my soul seemed to rest on
God, and take courage. Oh that the Lord would be my support
and comforter in an evil world!

May 14. Was very busy in some necessary studies. Felt my-
self very loose from all the world ; all appeared " vanity and vex-
ation of spirit." Seemed lonesome and disconsolate, as if I were
banished from all mankind, and bereaved of all that is called
pleasurable in the world; but appeared to myself so vile and un-
worthy, it seemed fitter for me to be here than any where.

146 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

May 1.3. '/Still much engaged in my studies; and enjoyed
more health, than I,have for some time past: but was somewhat
dejected in spirit with a sense of my meanness; seemed as if I
could never do any tiling at all to any good purpose by reason of
ignorance and folly. Oh that a sense of these things might work
more habitual humility in my soul!"

He continued much in the same frame the next day.

May 17. wk Was this day greatly distressed with a sense of my
vileness ; appeared to myself too bad to walk on God's earth, or
to be treated with kindness by any of his creatures. God was
pleased to let me see my inward pollution and corruption, to such
a degree, that I almost despaired of being more holy : "O wretch-
ed man that I am ! who shall deliver me from the body of this
death ?" In the afternoon, met with the Indians, according to ap-
pointment, and preached to them. And while riding to them, my
soul seemed to confide in God; and afterwards had some relief
and enlargement of soul in prayer, and some assistance in the du-
ty of intercession; vital piety and holiness appeared sweet to me,
and I longed for the perfection of it.

May 18. " Felt again somewhat of the sweet spirit of reli-
gion ; and my soul seemed to confide in God, that he would nev-
er leave me. But oftentimes saw myself so mean a creature, that
I knew not how to think of preaching. Oh that I could always
live to, and upon God!

May 10. Was, some part of the time, greatly oppressed with
the weight and burden of my work; it seemed impossible for me
ever to go through with the business I had undertaken. Towards
night was very calm and comfortable ; and I think, my soul trust-
ed in God for help.

Lord's d iy. May 20. " Preached twice to the poor Indians;
and enjoyed some freedom in speaking, while I attempted to re-
move their prejudices against Christianity. My soul longed for
assistance from above, all the while; for I saw I had no strength
suflicient for that work. Afterwards, preached to the Irish peo-
ple ; was much assisted in the first prayer, and somewhat in the
sermon. Several persons seemed much concerned for their
souls, with whom I discoursed afterwards with much freedom and
some power. Blessed be God for any assistance afforded to an
unworthy worm. Oh that I could live to him .'"

Through the remainder of this iveek, he was sometimes ready to
sink with a sense of his unworthiness and unfitness for the work of

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 147

the ministry ; and sometimes encouraged and lifted above his
fears and sorrows, and was enabled confidently to rely on God ;
and especially on Saturday, towards night, he enjoyed calmness
and composure, and assistance in prayer to God. He rejoiced,
"that God remains unchangeably powerful and faithful, a sure and
sufficient portion, and the dwelling place of his children in all
generations."

Lord's day, May 27. " Visited my Indians, in the morning,
and attended upon a funeral among them; was affected to see
their Heathenish practices. Oh that they might be " turned from
darkness to light!" Afterwards got a considerable number of
them together, and preached to them ; and observed them very
attentive. After this, preached to the white people from Heb. ii.
3. Hoiv shall we escape if we neglect, 8fc. Was enabled to speak
with some freedom and power: several people seemed much con-
cerned for their soul- ; especially one who had been educated a
Roman Catholic. Blessed be the Lord for any help.

May 28. " Set out from the Indians above the Forks of the
Delaware, on a journey towards Newark in New-Jersey, accor-
ding to my orders. Rode through the wilderness ; was much fa-
tigued with the heat; lodged at a place called Black River; was
exceedingly tired and worn out."

On Tuesday he came to Newark. The next day went to Eliza-
beth-Town. On Thursday he went to New-York, and on Fri-
day returned to Elizabeth-Town. These days were spent in some
perplexity of mind. He continued at Elizabeth-Town till Fri-
day in the week following. Was enlivened, refreshed, and strength-
ened on the Sabbath at the Lord's table. The ensuing days of
the week were spent chiefly in studies preparatory to his ordina-
tion; and on some of them he seemed to have much of God's
gracious presence, and of the sweet influences of his Spirit; but
was in a very weak state of body. On Saturday he rode to Newark.

Lord's day, June 10. " [At Newark] in the morning was much
concerned how I should perform the work of the day ; and trem-
bled at the thoughts of being left to myself. Enjoyed very con-
siderable assistance in all parts of the public service. Had an op-
portunity again to attend on the ordinance of the Lord's supper,
and through divine goodness was refreshed in it : my soul was full
of love and tenderness towards the children of God, and towards
all men ; felt a certain sweetness of disposition towards every crea-
ture. At night, I enjoyed more spirituality and sweet desire of
holiness, than I have felt for some time: was afraid of every
thought and every motion, lest thereby my heart should be drawn

148 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

away from God. Oh that I might never leave the blessed God !
" Lord, in thy presence is fulness of joy." O the blessedness of
living to God I

June 11. " This day the Presbytery met together at Newark,
in order to my ordination. Was very weak and disordered in
body; yet endeavoured to repose my confidence in God. Spent
most of the day alone ; especially the forenoon. At three in the
afternoon preached my probation sermon, from Acts xxvi. 17, 18.
Delivering thee from the people, and from the Gentiles, fyc. being
a text given me for that end. Felt not well either in body or
mind ; however, God carried me through comfortably. After-
wards, passed an examination before the Presbytery. Was much
tired, and my mind burdened with the greatness of that charge I
was in the most solemn manner about to take upon me : my mind
was so pressed with the weight of the work incumbent upon me,
that I could not sleep this night, though very weary and in great
need of rest.

June 12. " Was this morning further examined, respecting my
experimental acquaintance with Christianity* At ten o'clock my
ordination was attended ; the sermon preached by the Rev. Mr.
Pemberton. At this time I was affected with a sense of the im-
portant trust committed to me ; yet was composed, and solemn,
without distraction ; and I hope that then, as many timas before,
I gave myself up to God, to be for him, and not for another. Oh
that I might always be engaged in the service of God, and duly re-
member the solemn charge I have received, in the presence of God,
angels, and men. Amen. May I be assisted of God for this pur-
pose.— Towards night, rode to Elizabeth-Town."

*>Ir. Pemberton, in a letter to the Honourable society in Scotland, published in
the Christian Monthly History, writes thus, " We can with pleasure say, that Mr.
Braixerd passed through his ordination trial, to the universal approbation of the
Presbytery, and appeared uncommonly qualified for the work of the ministry. He
seems to be armed with a great deal of self-denial, and animated with a noble zeal
to propagate the gospel among those barbarous nations, who have long dwelt in the
darkness of Heathenism.'

CHAPTER VJ.

From iiis Ordination, to the commencement of his Labours at Crosivee';-

simo-.

June 13. [1744.] "Spent some considerable time in writing
an account of the I.;dian affairs to go to Scotland ; some, in con-
versation with friends ; but enjoyed not much sweetness and sat-
isfaction.

June 14. "Received some particular kindness from friends;
and wondered, that God should open the hearts of any to treat
me with kindness : saw myself to be unworthy of any favour from
God, or any of my fellow-men. Was much exercised with pain
in my head ; however I determined to set out on my journey to-
wards the Delaware in the afternoon ; but when the afternoon
came, my pain increased exceedingly ; so that I was obliged to
betake myself to bed. The night following, I was greatly distres-
sed with pain and sickness ; was sometimes almost bereaved of
the exercise of reason by the extremity of pain. Continued much
distressed till Saturday, when I was somewhat relieved by an emetic :
but was unable to walk abroad till the Monday following, in the af-
ternoon ; and still remained very feeble. I often admired the good-
ness of God, that he did not suffer me to proceed on my journey
from this place where I was so tenderly used, and to be sick by
the way among strangers. God is very gracious to me, both in
health and sickness, and intermingles much mercy with all my af-
flictions and toils. Enjoyed some sweetness in things divine,
in the midst of my pain and weakness. Oh that I could praise
the Lord.

On Tuesday, June 19. He set out on his journey home, and in
three days reached his residence near the Forks of Delaware.
Performed the journey under much weakness of body; but had
comfort in his soul, from day to day: and both his weakness of
body, and consolation of mind, continued through the week.

Lord's day, June 24. "Extremely feeble; scarcely able to
walk: however visited my Indians, and took much pains to in-
struct them ; laboured with some that were much disaffected to
Christianity. My mind was much burdened with the weight and

150 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

difficulty of my work. My whole dependence and hope of suc-
cess seemed to be on God ; who alone I saw could make them
willing to receive instruction. My heart was much engaged in
prayer, sending up silent requests to God, even while I was speak-
ing to them. Oh that I could always go in the strength of the
Lord !

June 25. " Was somewhat better in health than of late; and
was able to spend a considerable part of the day in prayer and
close study. Had more freedom and fervency in prayer than us-
ual of late ; especially longed for the presence of God in my work,
and that the poor Heathen might be converted. And in evening
prayer my faith and hope in God were much raised. To an eye
of reason every thing that respects the conversion of the Heathen is
as dark as midnight ; and yet I cannot but hope in God for the
accomplishment of something glorious among them. My soul
longed much for the advancement of the Redeemer's kingdom on
earth. Was very fearful lest I should admit some vain thought,
and so lose the sense I then had of divine things. Oh for an
abiding heavenly temper!

June 26. " In the morning, my desires seemed to rise, and
ascend up freely to God. Was busy most of the day in translating
prayers into the language of the Delaware Indians ; met with great
difficulty, because my interpreter was altogether unacquainted with
the business. But though I was much discouraged with the ex-
treme difficulty of that work, yet God supported me ; and espe-
cially in the evening, gave me sweet refreshment. In prayer my
soul was enlarged, and my faith drawn into sensible exercise ; was
enabled to cry to God for my poor Indians ; and though the
work of their conversion appeared impossible with man, yet with
God I saw all things were possible. My faith was much strength-
ened, by observing the wonderful assistance God afforded his ser-
vants Nehemiah and Ezra, in reforming his people, and re-estab-
lishing his ancient church. I was much assisted in prayer for my
dear christian friends, and for others whom I apprehended to be
christless; but was more especially concerned for the poor Hea-
then, and those of my own charge ; was enabled to be instant in
prayer for them ; and hoped that God would bow the heavens and
come down for their salvation. It seemed to me, that there
could be no impediment sufficient to obstruct that glorious work,
seeing the living God, as I strongly hoped, was engaged for it. I
continued in a solemn frame, lifting up my heart to God for as-
sistance and grace, that I might be more mortified to this present
world, that my whole soul might be taken up continually in con-
cern for the advancement of Christ's kingdom. Earnestly desired

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 151

that God would purge me more, that I might be as a chosen ves-
sel to bear his name among the Heathens. Continued in this
frame till I fell asleep.

June 27. " Felt something of the same solemn concern, and
spirit of prayer, which I enjoyed last night, soon after I rose in
the morning. In the afternoon, rode several miles to see if I
could procure any lands for the poor Indians, that they might
live together, and be under better advantages for instruction. —
While 1 was riding, had a deep sense of the greatness and difficul-
ty of my work; and my soul seemed to rely wholly upon God for
success, in the diligent and faithful use of means. Saw, with the
greatest certainty, that the arm of the Lord must be revealed, for
the help of these poor Heathen, if ever they were delivered from
the bondage of the powers of darkness. Spent most of the time,
while ridi. g, in lifting up my heart for grace and assistance.

June 28. " Spent the morning in reading several parts of the
jioly scripture, and in fervent prayer for my Indians, that God
would set up his kingdom among them, and bring them into his
church. About nine, I withdrew to my usual place of retirement
in the woods ; and there again enjoyed some assistance in prayer.
My great concern was for the conversion of the Heathen to God ;
and the Lord helped me to plead with him for it. Towards noon,
rode up to the Indians, in order to preach to them ; and while go-
ing, my heart went up to God in prayer for them ; could freely
tell God, he knew that the cause in which I was engaged was
not mine ; but that it was his own cause, and that it would be for
his own glory to convert the poor Indians : and blessed be God,
I felt no desire of their conversion, that I might receive honour
from the world, as being the instrument of it. Had some freedom
in speaking to the Indians."

The next day, he speaks of some serious concern for the king-
dom of the blessed Redeemer; but complains much of barren-
ness, wanderings, inactivity, ike.

June 30. " My soul was very solemn in reading God's word;
especially the ninth chapter of Daniel. I saw how God had call-
ed out his servants to prayer, and made them wrestle with him,
when he designed to bestow any great mercy on his church. And,
alas! I was ashamed of myself, to think of my dulness and inac-
tivity, when there seemed to be so much to do for the upbuilding
of Zion. O how does Zion lie waste ! I longed, that the church
of God might be enlarged : was enabled to pray, I think, in faith ;
my soul seemed sensibly to confide in God, and was enabled to

152 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

wrestle with him. Afterwards, walked abroad to a place of sweeJ
retirement, enjoyed some assistance in prayer, had a sense of my
great need of divine help, and felt my soul sensibly depend on
God. Blessed be God, this has been a comfortable week to me.
Lord's day, July 1. "In the morning, was perplexed with
wandering vain thoughts; was much grieved, judged and con-
demned myself before God. O how miserable did I feel, be-
cause I could not live to God ! At ten, rode away with a heavy
heart, to preach to my Indians. Upon the road I attemped to
lift up my heart to God; but was infested with an unsettled wan-
dering frame of mind; and was exceeding restless and perplexed,
and filled with shame and confusion before God. I seemed to
myself to be " more brutish than any man;" and thought, none
deserved to be "cast out of God's presence" so much as I. If I
attempted to lift up my heart to God, as I frequently did by the
way, on a sudden, before I was aware, my thoughts were wander-
ing " to the ends of the earth ;" and my soul was filled with sur-
prise and anxiety, to find it thus. Thus also, after I came to the
Indians, my mind was confused ; and I felt nothing sensibly of that
sweet reliance on God, with which my soul has been comforted
in days past. Spent the forenoon in this posture of mind, and
preached to the Indians without any heart. In the afternoon. I
felt still barren, when I began to preach, and for about half an
hour. I seemed to myself to know nothing, and to have nothing
to say to the Indians; "but soon after, I found in myself a spirit of
love, and warmth, and power, to address the poor Indians; and
God helped me to plead with them, to " turn from all the vanities
of the Heathen, to the living God ;" I am persuaded that the
Lord touched their consciences; for I never saw such attention
raised in them. When I came away from them, I spent the
whole time while I was riding to my lodgings, three miles distant,
in prayer and praise to God. After I had rode more than two
miles, it came into my mind to dedicate myself to God again ;
which I did with great solemnity and unspeakable satisfaction ;
especially gave up myself to him renewedly in the work of the
ministry. This I did by divine grace, 1 hope, without any excep-
tion or reserve; not in the least shrinking back from any difficul-
ties that might attend this great and blessed work. I seemed to
be most free, cheerful, and full in this dedication of myself. My
whole soul cried " Lord, to thee I dedicate myself! O accept of
me, and let me be thine for ever. Lord, I desire nothing else ; I
desire nothing more. O come, come, Lord, accept a poor worm.
Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth,
that T desire beside thee," After this, was enabled to praise God

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 153

with my whole soul, that he had enabled me to devote and conse-
crate all my powers to him in this solemn manner. My heart re-
joiced in my particular work as a missionary ; rejoiced in my ne-
cessity of self-denial in many respects ; and still continued to give
up myself to God, and implore' mercy of him, praying incessant-
ly, every moment, with sweet fervency. My nature being very
weak, of late, and much spent, was now considerably overcome :
my fingers grew very feeble, and somewhat numb, so that I could
scarcely stretch them out straight ; and when I lighted from my
horse, could hardly walk ; my joints seemed all to be loosed.
But I felt abundant strength in the inner man. Preached to the
white people : God helped me much, especially in prayer. Sun-
dry of my poor Indians were so moved as to come to meeting al-
so; and one appeared much concerned.

July 2. " Had some relish of the divine comforts of yester-
day ; but could not get that warmth and exercise of faith, which I
desired. Had sometimes a distressing sense of my past follies,
and present ignorance and barrenness : and especially in the after-
noon, was sunk down under a load of sin and guilt, in that I had
lived so little to God. after his abundant goodness to me yester-
day. In the evening, though very weak, was enabled to pray with
fervency, and to continue instant in prayer, near an hour. My
soul mourned over the power of its corruption, and longed ex-
ceedingly to be washed and purged, as tuilh hytsup. Was enabled
to pray for my dear absent friends, Christ's ministers, and his
church ; and enjoyed much freedom and fervency, but not so
much comfort, by reason of guilt and shame before God. Judged
and condemned myself for the follies of the day.

July 3. " Was still very weak. This morning, wa3 enabled
to pray under a feeling sense of my need, of help from God, and,
I trust, had some faith in exercise ; and, blessed be God, was en-
abled to plead with him a considerable time. Truly God is good
to me. But my soul mourned, and was grieved at my sinfulness
and barrenness, and longed to be more engaged for God. Near
nine, withdrew again for prayer; and through divine goodness,
had the blessed spirit of prayer; my soul loved the duty, and
longed for God in it. O it is sweet to be the Lord's, to be sensi-
bly devoted to him ! What a blessed portion is God ! How glo-
rious, how lovely in himself! O my soul longed to improve

time wholly for God ! Spent most of the day in translating

prayers into Indian. — In the evening, was enabled again to wres-
tle with God in prayer with fervency. Was enabled to maintain
a self-diffident and watchful frame of spirit, in the evening, and

154 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

was jealous and afraid lest I should admit carelessness and self-
confidence."

The next day, he seems to have had special assistance and fer-
vency most of the day, hut in a less degree than in the preceding
day. Tuesday was spent in great bodily weakness ; yet seems to
have been spent in continual distress and great bitterness of spirit,
in consequence of his vileness and corruption. He says, "I thought
that there was not one creature living so vile as I. O my inward
pollution ! O my guilt and shame before God! I know not what
to do. O I longed ardently to be cleansed and washed from the
stains of inward pollution ! Oh, to be made like God, or rather
to be made fit for God to own !"

July G. " Awoke this morning in the fear of God : soon call
cd to mind my sadness in the evening past ; and spent my firs;
waking minutes in prayer for sanctification, that my soul may be
washed from its exceeding pollution and defilement. After I
arose, 1 spent some time in reading God's word, and in prayer. J
cried to God under a sense of my great indigence. I am, of late,
most of all concerned for ministerial qualifications, and the con-
version of the Heathen. Last year, I longed to be prepared for
a world of glory, and speedily to depart out of this world ; but of
late all my concern almost is for the conversion of the Heathen :
and for that end I long to live. But blessed be God, 1 have less
desire to live for any of the pleasures of the world, than I ever
had. I long and love to be a pilgrim ; and want grace to imitate
the life, labours, and -utFerings of St. Paul among the Heathen.
And when I long for holiness now, it is not so much for myself as
formerly ; but rather that thereby I may become an " able minis-
ter of the New-Testament," especially to the Heathen. Spent
about two hours this morning in reading and prayer by turns; and
was in a watchful tender frame, afraid of every thing that might
cool my affections, and draw away my heart from God. AVas a
little strengthened in my studies; but near night was very weak
and weary.

July 7. " Was very much disordered this morning, and my
vigour all spent and exhausted : but was affected and refreshed in
leading the sweet story of Elijah's translation, and enjoyed some
affection and fervency in prayer: longed much for ministerial gifts
and graces, that 1 might do something in the cause of God. Af-
terwards was refreshed and invigorated, while reading Alleine's
first Case of conscience, he. and enabled then to pray with some
ardour of soul, and was afraid of carelessness and self-confidence,
and longed for holiness.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 155

Lord's day, July 3. " Was ill last night, not able to rest qui-
etly. Had some small degree of assistance in preaching to the
Indians ; and afterwards was enabled to preach to the white peo-
ple with some power, especially in the close of my discourse,
from Jer. iii. 23. Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the
hills, &c. The Lord also assisted me in some measure in the
first prayer; blessed be his name. Near night, though very
weary,' was enabled to read God's word with some sweet rehsh
of it,* and to pray with affection, fervency, and 1 trust with faith:
my soul was more sensibly dependant on God than usual. Was
watchful, tender, and jealous of my own heart, lest I should ad-
mit carelessness and vain thoughts, and grieve the blessed Spirit,
so that he should withdraw his sweet, kind, and tender influences.
Longed to " depart, and be with Christ," more than at any time
of late. My soul was exceedingly united to the saints of ancient
times, as well as those now living; especially my soul melted for
the society of Elijah and Elisha. Was enabled to cry to God
with a child-like spirit, and to continue instant in prayer for
some time. Was much enlarged in the sweet duty of inter-
cession ; was enabled to remember great numbers of dear
friends, and precious souls, as well as Christ's ministers. Con-
tinued in this frame, afraid of every idle thought, til! I dropped

asleep.

July 9. " Was under much illness of body most of the day ;
and not able to sit up the whole day. Towards night felt a little
better. Then spent some time in reading God's word and prayer;
enjoyed some degree of fervency and affection ; was enabled to
plead with God for his cause and kingdom : and, through divine
goodness, it was apparent to me, that it was his cause I pleaded
for, and not my own ; and was enabled to make this an argument
with God to answer my requests.

July 10. " Was very ill, and full of pain, and very dull and
spiritless. In the evening, had an affecting sense of my igno-
rance, and of my need of God at all times, to do every thing
for me ; and my soul was humbled before God.

July 11. "Was still exercised with illness and pain. Had
some degree of affection and warmth in prayer and reading God's
word ; longed for Abraham's faith and fellowship with God; and
felt some resolution to spend all my time for God, and to exert
myself with more fervency in his service ; but found my body
weak and feeble. In the afternoon, though very ill, was enabled
to spend some considerable time in prayer; spent, indeed, most
of the day in that exercise : and my soul was diffident, watchful,
and tender, lest I should offend my blessed Friend, in thought or
behaviour. I am persuaded that, my soul confided in, and leaned

156 MEMOIRS OF JJRAINERD.

upon the blessed God. O, what need did I see myself to stand

in of God at all times, to assist me and lead me ! Found a

great want of strength and vigour, both in the outward and inner
man."

The exercises and experiences of which he speaks in the next
nine days, are very similar to tho^e of the preceding days of this
and the foregoing week; a sense of his own weakness, ignorance,
unprofitableness, and vileness; lothing and abhorring himself;
self-diffidence ; sense of the greatness of his work, of his great
need of divine help, and the extreme, danger of self-confidence ;
longing for holiness and humility, to be fitted for his work, and
to live to God, and for the conversion of the Indians; and these
things to a very great degree.

July 21. " This morning, I was greatly oppressed with guilt
and shame, from a sense of inward vileness and pollution. About
nine, withdrew to the woods for prayer; but had not much com-
fort; I appeared to myself the vilest, meanest creature upon
earth, and could scarcely live with myself; so mean and vile I
appeared, that I thought I should never be able to hold up my
face in heaven, if God of his infinite grace should bring me
thither. Towards night my burden respecting my work among
the Indians began to increase much; and was aggravated by
hearing sundry things which looked very discouraging ; in partic-
ular, that they intended to meet together the next dav for an idol-
atrous feast and dance. Then I began to be in anguish : I thought
that I must in conscience go and endeavour to break them up ;
yet knew not how to attempt such a thing. However, I withdrew
for prayer, hoping for strength from above. In prayer I was
exceedingly enlarged, and my soul was as much drawn out as I
ever remember it to have been in my life. I was in such anguish,
and pleaded with so much earnestness and importunity, thaUvhen
I rose from my knees I felt extremely weak and overcome ; I
could scarcely walk straight; my joints were loosed ; the sweat
ran down my face and body ; and nature seemed as if it would
dissolve. So far as I could judge, I was wholly free from selfish
ends in my fervent supplications for the poor Indians. I knew
that they were met together to worship devils, and not God ; and
this made me cry earnestly, that God would now appear, and
help me in my attempts to break up this idolatrous meeting.
My soul pleaded long; and I thought that God would hear, and
would go with me to vindicate his own cause : I seemed to con-
fide in God for his presence, and assistance. And thus I spent the
evening, praying incessantly for divine assistance, and that I might

MEMOIKS OF BRAINERD. 157

not be self-dependent, but still have my whole dependence upon
God. What 1 passed through was remarkable, and indeed inex-
pressible. All things here below vanished ; and there appeared
to be nothing of any considerable importance to me, but holiness
of heart and life, and the conversion of the Heathen to God. All
my cares, fears, and desires, which might be said to oe of a
worldly nature, disappeared ; and were, in my esteem, of little
more importance than a puff of wind. I exceedingly longed that
God would get to himself a name among the Heathen ; and I ap-
pealed to him with the greatest freedom, that he knew I " pre-
ferred him above my chief joy." Indeed, I had no notion of joy
from this world ; I cared not where or how I lived, or what hard-
ships I went through, so that I could but gain souls to Christ. I
continued in this frame all the evening and night. While I was
asleep, I dreamed of these things ; and when I waked, (as I fre-
quently did.) the first thing I thought of was this great work of
pleading for God against Satan.

Lord's day, July 22. " When I waked, my soul was burdened
with what seemed to be before me. I cried to God, before I
could get out of my bed ; and as soon as I was dressed, I with-
drew into the woods, to pour out my burdended soul to God,
especially for assistance in my great work ; for I could scarcely
think of any thing else. I enjoyed the same freedom and ferven-
cy as the last evening; and did with unspeakable freedom give up
myself afresh to God, for life or death, for all hardships he should
call me to among the Heathen ; and felt as if nothing couid dis-
courage me from this blessed work. I had a strong hope that
God would " bow the heavens and come down," and do some
marvellous work among the Heathen. While I was riding to the
Indians — three miles, my heart was continually going up to God
for his presence and assistance ; and hoping, and almost expect-
ing, that God would make this the day of his power and grace
amongst the poor Indians. When I came to them, I found them
engaged in their frolic ; but through divine goodness I persuaded
them to desist and attend to my preaching : yet still there ap-
peared nothing of the special power of God among them. Preached
again to them in the afternoon, and observed the Indians were mere
sober than before; but still saw nothing special among them. Herice
Satan took occasion to tempt and buffet me with these cursed
suggestions, There is no God, or if there be, he is not able to
convert the Indians, before they have more knowledge, &c. I
was very weak and weary, and my soul borne down with perplex-
ity ; but was mortified to all the world, and was determined still
to wait upon God for the conversion of the Heathen, though the
devil tempted me to the contrary.

158 • MEMOIRS OF BRAlNERD.

July 23. '' Retained still a deep and pressing sense ot what lay
with so much weight upon me yesterday ; but was more calm and
quiet. Enjoyed freedom and composure, after the temptations
of the last evening ; had sweet resignation to the divine will ;
and desired nothing so much as the conversion of the Heathen to
God, and that his kingdom might come in my own heart, and the
hearts of others. Rode to a settlement of Irish people, about
fifteen miles south-westward ; spent my time in prayer and medi-
tation by the way. Near night, preached from Matt. v. 3.

Blessed are the poo?- in spirit, &c. God was pleased to afford me

some degree of freedom and fervency. Blessed be God for any
measure of assistance.

July 24. " Rode about seventeen miles westward, over a hid-
eous mountain, to a number of Indians. Got together near
thirty of them : preached to them in the evening, and lodged
among them. — Was weak, and felt in some degree disconsolate ;
jet could have no freedom in the thought of any other circum-
stances or business in life. All my desire was the conversion of
the Heathen ; and all my hope was in God. God does not suf-
fer me to please or comfort myself with hopes of seeing friends,
returning to my dear acquaintance, and enjoying worldly com-
forts."

The next day, he preached to these Indians again ; and then
returned to the Irish settlement, and there preached to a numer-
ous congregation. There was a considerable appearance of
awakening in the congregation. Thursday he returned home,
exceedingly fatigued and spent ; still in the same frame of morti-
fication to the world, andsolicitousfor the advancement of Christ's
kingdom. On this day he writes thus: "I have felt this week,
more of the spirit of a pilgrim on earth, than perhaps ever before;
and yet so desirous to see Zion's prosperity, that I was not so wil-
ling to leave this scene of sorrows as I used to be." — The tzoo re-
maining days of the week, he was very ill, and complains of wan-
derings, dulness, and want of spiritual fervency and sweetness.
On the Sabbath, he was confined by illness, not able to go out to
preach. After this, his illness increased upon him, and he con-
tinued very ill all the week; and says, that "he thought he never
before endured such a season of distressing: weakness : that his
nature was so spent, that he could neither stand, sit, nor lie with
any quiet ; that he was exercised with extreme faintness and sick-
ness at his stomach; that his mind was as much disordered as his
body, seeming to be stupid, and without any kind of atfections
towards all objects, and yet perplexed, to think that he lived for
nothing ; that precious time rolled away and he could do nothing
but trifle: and that it was a season wherein Satan buffetted him

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 159

with some peculiar temptations. On Tuesday of this week he
wrote the following letter to an intimate and dear friend. It in-
dicates affections in no ordinary degree chastened and spiritual.

"Forks of Delaware, July 31, 1744.
-Certainly the greatest, the noblest pleasure of intelligent

creatures must result from their acquaintance with the blessed
God, and with their own rational and immortal souls. O, how
divinely sweet and entertaining is it, to look into our own souls,
when we can find all our powers and passions united and engaged
in pursuit after God ; our whole souls longing and passionately
breathing after a conformity to him, and the full enjoyment of
him ! Verily no hours pass away with so much divine pleasure,
as those which are spent in communing with God and our own
hearts. O, how sweet is a spirit of devotion, a spirit of serious-
ness and divine solemnity, a spirit of gospel simplicity, love and
tenderness ! O, how desirable, and how profitable to the chris-
tian life, is a spirit of holy watchfulness, and godly jealousy over
ourselves ; when our souls are afraid of nothing so much as that
we shall grieve and offend the blessed God, whom at such times
we apprehend, or at least hope, to be a Father and Friend; whom
we then love and long to please, rather than to be happy ourselves;
or at least we delight to derive our happiness from pleasing and
glorifying him! Surely this is a pious temper, worthy of the
highest ambition and closest pursuit of intelligent creatures and
holy christians. O, how vastly superior are the pleasure, peace,
and satisfaction derived from these divine frames, to that which
we, alas! sometimes pursue in things impertinent and trifling !
Our owii bitter experience teaches us, that " in the midst of such
laughter the heart is sorrowful," and there is no true satisfaction
but in God. But, alas ! how shall we obtain and retain this
sweet spirit of religion and devotion ? Let us follow the apostle's
direction, Phil. ii. 12.,ancl labour upon the encouragement which
he there mentions, ver. 13. for it is God only can afford us this
favour ; and he will be sought to, and it is fit we should wait upon
him for so rich a mercy. Oh, may the God of all grace afford us
the grace and influences of his divine Spirit ; and help us that we
may from our hearts esteem it our greatest liberty and happiness,
that " whether we live, we may live to the Lord, or whether we
die, we may die to the Lord ;" that in life and death, we may be
his!

" I am in a very poor state of health ; I think, scarce ever
poorer : but, through divine goodness. I am not discontented

160 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

under my weakness, and confinement to this wilderness, I bles.-
God for this retirement ; I never was more thankful for any thing,
than I have been of late for the necessity I am under of self-de-
nial in many respects. I love to be ^.pilgrim and stranger in this
wilderness ; it seems most fit for such a poor, ignorant, worthless,
despised creature as I. I would not change my present mission
for any other business in the whole world. I may tell you freely,
without vanity and ostentation, God has of late given me great
freedom and fervency in prayer, when I have been so weak and
feeble that my nature seemed as if it would speedily dissolve. I
feel as if my all was lost, and I was undone for this world, if the
poor Heathen may not be converted. I feel, in general, differ-
ent from what 1 did, when I saw you last; at least more crucified
to all the enjoyments of life. It would be very refreshing to me to
see you here in this desart ; especially in my weak disconsolate
hours ; but, I think, I could be content never to see you, or any
of my friends again in this world, if God would bless my labours
here to the conversion of the poor Indians.

" I have much that I could willingly communicate to you, which
I must omit till Providence gives us leave to see each other. In
the mean time, I rest

"Your obliged friend and servant,

" David Brainerd."

Concerning the next five days he writes thus : " Lord^s day.
August 5, was still very poor. But, though very weak, I visited
and preached to the poor Indians twice, and was strengthened
vastly beyond my expectations. Indeed, the Lord gave me some
freedom and fervency in addressing them; though I had not
strength enough to stand, but was obliged to sit down the whole
time. Towards night, was extremely weak, faint, sick, and full of
pain. I have continued much in the same state I was in last
week, through most of this, (it being now Friday,) unable to en-
gage in any business ; frequently unable to pray in the family.
I am obliged to let all my thoughts and concerns run at random .
for I have not strength to read, meditate, or pray : and this nat-
urally perplexes my mind. I seem to myself like a man that has
all his estate embarked in one small boat, unhappily going adrift,
down a swift torrent. The poor owner stands on the shore, and

looks, and laments his loss But, alas ! though my all seems to

be adrift, and I stand and see it, I dare not lament ; for this sinks
my spirits more, and aggravates my bodily disorders ! I am forced
therefore to divert myself with trifles ; although at the same time
I am afraid, and often feel as if I was guilty of the misimprove
ment of time. And oftentimes my conscience is so exercised,

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 161

with this miserable wayof spending time, that I have no peace;
though I have no strength of mind or body to improve it to better
purpose. Oh that God would pity my distressed state !''

The next three wetks, his illness was less severe; and he was
in some degree capable of business, both public and private;
though he had some turns wherein his indisposition prevailed to a
great degree. He had generally also much more inward assist-
ance, and strength of mind. He often expresses great longings
for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, especially by the con-
version of the heathen to God ; and speaks of this hope as all his
delight and joy. He continues still to express his usual desires
after holiness, living to God, and a sense of his own unworthiriess.
He several times speaks of his appearing to him elf the vilest crea-
ture on earth; and once says, that he verily thought there were
none of God's children, who fell so far short of that holiness, and
perfection in their obedience, which God requires, as he. He
speaks of his feeling more dead than ever to the enjoyments of
the world. He sometimes mentions the special assistance which
he had at this time, in preaching to the Indians, and the ap-
pearances of religious concern ainon . them, ile speaks also of
assistance in prayer for absent friends, and especial y ministers
and candidates for the ministry; and of much comfort which he
enjoyed in the company of some ministers who came to visit
him.

Sept. 1. " Was so far strengthened, after a season of great
weakness, that I was able to spend two or three hours in writing
on a divine subject. Enjoyed some comfort and sweetness in
things divine and sacred ; and as my bodily strength was in some
measure restored, so my soul seemed to be somewhat vigorous,
and engaged in the things of God.

Lord's day, Sept. 2. " Was enabled to speak to my poor In-
dians with much concern and fervency; and I am persuaded, that
God enabled me to exercise faith in him, while I was speaking to
them. I perceived that some of thorn wre afraid to hearken to
and embrace Christianity, lest they should be enchanted and
poisoned by some of the powaivs: but I was enabled to plead
with them not to fear these ; and, confiding in God for safety and
deliverance, I bid a challenge to all these powers of darkness, to
do their worst on me first. I told my people that I was a Chris-
tian, and asked them why the powaivs did not bewitch and poison
me. I scarcely ever felt more sensible of my own unworthiness,
than in this action. I saw that the honour of God was concerned
in the affair ; and desired to be preserved — not from selfish views,

162 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

but — for a testimony of the divine power and goodness, and
of the truth of Christianity, and that God might be glorifi-
ed. Afterwards, I found my soul rejoice in God for his assisting
grace."

After this, he went a journey into New-England, and was absent
from the place of his abode, at the Forks of Delaware, about
three weeks. He was in a feeble state the greater part of the time.
But in the latter part of the journey, he found that he gained
much in health and strength. As to the state of his mind, and
his religious and spiritual exercises, it was much with him as
usual in hisjournies; excepting that the frame of his mind seem-
ed more generally to be comfortable. But yet there are com-
plaints of some uncomfortable seasons, want of fervency, and
want of retirements, and time alone with God. In his journey,
he did not forget the Indians; but once and again speaks of his
longing for their conversion.

Sept. 26. "Rode home to the Forks of Delaware. What
reason have 1 to bless God, who has preserved me in riding more
than four hundred and twenty miles, and has "kept all my bones,
that not one of them has been broken !" My health likewise is
greatly recovered. Oh that I could dedicate my all to God !
This is all the return I can make to him.

Sept. 27. " Was somewhat melancholy ; had not much free-
dom and comfort in prayer : my soul is disconsolate when God is
withdrawn.

Sept. 28. " Spent the day in prayer, reading, and writing.
Felt some small degree of warmth in prayer, and some desires
of the enlargement of Christ's kingdom by the conversion of the
Heathen, and that God would make me a " chosen vessel, to bear
his name before them;1' longed for grace to enable me to be
faithful."

The next day, he speaks of the same earnest desires for the
advancement of Christ's kingdom, and the conversion of the
Indians ; but complains greatly of the ill effects of the diversions
of his late journey, as unfixing his mind from that degree of en-
gagedness, fervency, and watchfulness, which he enjoyed before.
The like complaints are continued the day after.

Oct. 1. "Was engaged this day in making preparations for
my intended journey to the Susquehannah. Withdrew several
limes to the woods for secret duties, and endeavoured lu plead

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 163

for the divine presence to go with me to the poor Pagans, to whom
I was going to preach the gospel. Towards night rode about four
miles, and met brother Byram j* who was come, at my desire, to
be my companion in travel to the Indians. 1 rejoiced to see him ;
and, I trust, God made his conversation profitable to me. I saw
him, as I thought, more dead to the world, its anxious cares,
and alluring objects, than I was : and this made me look within
myself, and gave me a greater sense of my guilt, ingratitude, and
misery.

Oct. 2. " Set out on my journey, in company with dear broth-
er Byram, and my interpreter, and two chief Indians from the
Forks of Delaware. Travelled about twenty-five miles, and
lodged in one of the last houses on our road ; after which thej'e
was nothing but a hideous and howling wilderness.

Oct. 3. We went on our way into the wilderness, and found
the most difficult and dangerous travelling, by far, that ever any
of us had seen. We had scarce any thing else but lofty mountains,
deep valleys, and hideous rocks, to make our way through.
However, I felt some sweetness in divine things, part of the day,
and had my mind intensely engaged in meditation on a divine
subject. Near night, my beast on which I rode, hung one of her
legs in the rocks, and fell down under me ; but through divine
goodness, I was not hurt. However, she broke her leg; and
being in such a hideous place, and near thirty miles from any
house, I saw nothing that could be done to preserve her life, and
so was obliged to kill her, and to prosecute my journey on foot.
This accident made me admire the divine goodness to me, that
my bones were not broken, and the multitude of them filled
with strong pain. Just at dark, we kindled a fire, cut up a \'e\v
bushes, and made a shelter over our heads, to save us from the
frost, which was very hard that night ; and committing our-
selves to God by prayer, we lay down on the ground, and slept
quietly."

The next day, they went forward on their journey, and at night
took up their lodgings in the woods in like manner.

Oct. 5. " We reached the Susquehannah river, at a place
called Opeholhaupung, and found there twelve Indian houses.
After I had saluted the king in a friendly manner, I told him my
business, and that my desire was to teach them Christianity. Af-
ter some consultation, the Indians gathered, and I preached to
them. And when I had done, I asked if they would hear me
again. They replied, that they would consider of it ; and soon

* Minister at a place called Rockcilicus,a.bo\it forty miles from Brainerd's lodgings.

164 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NEHO.

after sent me word, that they would immediately attend, if I
would preach: which I did, with freedom, both times. When I
asked them again, whether they would hear me further, they re-
plied, they would the next day. I was exceeding sensible of the
impossibility of doing any thing for the poor Heathen without
special assistance from above ; and my soul seemed to rest on God,
and leave it to him to do as he pleased in that which I saw was his
own cause. Indeed, through divine goodness, I had felt some-
what of this frame most of the time while I was travelling thither;
and in some measure before I set out.

Oct. 6. "Rose early and besought the Lord for help in r-y
great work. Near noon, preached again to the Indians; and u
tli£ afternoon, visited them from house to house, and invited them
to come and hear me again the next day, and put off their hunt-
ing design, which they were just entering upon, till Monday.
" This night," I trust, " the Lord stood by me," to encourage and
strengthen my soul : I spent more than an hour in secret retire-
ment; was enabled to "pour out my heart before God," for the
increase of grace in my soul, for ministerial endowments, for
success among the poor Indians, for God's ministers and people,
for distant dear friends, he. Blessed be God!"

The next day, he complains of great want of fixedness and
intenseness in religion, so t^at he could not keep any spiritual
thought one minute without distraction; which occasioned anguish
of spirit. He felt amazingly guilty, and extremely miserable;
and cries out, " O, my soul, what death it is, to have the affec-
tions unable to centre in God, by reason of darkness, and conse-
qu< >t roving after that satisfaction elsewhere, that is only to be
found here !" However, he preached twice to the Indians with
considerable freedom and power; but was afterwards damped by
the objections they made against Christianity. In the evening, in
a sense of his great defects in preaching, he " intreated God not
to impute to him blood-guiltiness;" but yet was at the same time
enabled to rejoice in God.

Oct. 8. "Visited the Indians with a design to take my leave
of them, supposing they would this morning go out to hunting
early ; but beyond my expectation and hope, they desired to hear
me preach again. I gladly complied with their request, and af-
terwards endeavoured to answer their objections against Chris-
tian] )y. Then they went away ; and we spent the rest of the
afternoon in readi g and prayer, intending to go home-ward
very early the next day. My soul was in some measure refresh

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 1G5

ed in secret prayer and meditation. Blessed be the Lord for all
his goodness.

Oct. 9. " We rose about four in the morning, and commend-
ing ourselves to God by prayer, and asking bis special protection,
we set out on our journey homewards about five, and travelled,
with great steadiness till past six at night; and then made us a
fire, and a shelter of barks, and so rested. I had some clear and
comfortable thoughts on a divine subject, by the way, towards
night.— In the night, the wolves howled around us; but God
preserved us."

The next day, they rose early, and set forward, and travelled
that day till they came to an Irish settlement, with which Brain-
erd was acquainted, and lodged there. He speaks of some
sweetness in divine things, and thankfulness to God for his good-
ness to him in this journey, though attended with shame for his
barrenness. On Thursday, he continued in the same place; and
both he and Mr. Byram preached there to the people.

Oct. 12. "Rode home to my lodgings; where I poured out
my soul to God in secret prayer, "and endeavoured to bless him
for his abundant goodness to me in my late journey. I scarcely
ever enjoyed more health, at least, of later} ears; and God mar-
vellously, and almost miraculously, supported me under the fa-
tigues of the way, and travelling on foot. Blessed be the Lord,
who continually preserves me in all my ways."

On Saturday, he went again to the Irish settlement, to spend
the Sabbath there, his Indians being gone. •

Lord's day, Oct. 14. "Was much confused and perplexed in
my thoughts ; could not pray; and was almost discouraged, think-
ing I should never be able to preach any more. Afterwards, God
was pleased to give me some relief from these confusions ; but
still I was afraid, and even troubled before God. I went to the
place of public worship, lifting up my heart to God for assistance
and grace, in my great work : and God was gracious to me,
helping me to plead with him for holiness, and to use the strongest
arguments with him, drawn from the incarnation and sufferings of
Christ for this very end, that men might be made holy. After-
wards, I was much assisted in preaching. I know not that ever
God helped me to preach in a more close and distinguishing man-
ner for the trial of men's state. Through the infinite goodness
of God, I felt what I spoke ; he enabled me to treat on divine

166 MEMOIRS OF BRAiNERD.

truth with uncommon clearness; and yet I was so sensible of my
defects in preaching, that I could not be proud of my perform-
ance, as at some times; and blessed be the Lord for this mercy.
In the evening, I longed to be entirely alone, to bless God for
help in a time of extremity ; and longed for great. degrees of holi-
ness, that I might shew my gratitude to God."

The next morning, he spent sometime before sun-rise in prayer,
in the same sweet and grateful frame of mind, that he had been in
the evening before ; and afterwards went to his Indians, and spent
some time in teaching and exhorting them.

Oct. 16. "Felt a spirit of solemnity and watchfulness ; was
afraid I should not live to and upon God : longed for more in-
tenseness and spirituality. Spent the day in writing ; frequently
lifting up my heart to God for more heavenly mindedness. In
the evening, enjoyed sweet assistance in prayer; thirsted and
pleaded to be as holy as the blessed angels; longed for ministerial
gifts and graces, and success in my work; was sweetly assisted in
the duty of intercession ; and enabled to remember and plead for
numbers of dear friends, and of Christ's ministers."

He seemed to have much of the same frame of mind the two
next days.

Oct. 19. "Felt an abasing sense of my own impurity and un-
holiness; and felt my soul melt and mourn, that I had abused and
grieved a very gracious God, who was still kind to me, notwith-
standing all my unworthiness. My soul enjoyed a sweet season
of bitter repentance and sorrow, that I had wronged that blessed
God, who, I was persuaded, was reconciled to me in his deal-
Son. My soul was now tender, devout, and solemn. And I was
afraid of nothing but sin ; and afraid of that in every action and
thought."

The four next days, were manifestly spent in a most constant
tenderness, watchfulness, diligence, and self- diffidence. But he
complains of wanderings of mind, languor of affections, &c.

Oct. 24. "Near noon, rode to my people; spent some time,
and prayed with them : felt the frame of a pit^rim on earth ;
longed much to leave this gloomy mansion ; but yet found the
exercise of patience and resignation. And as I returned home
from the Indians, spent the whole time in lifting up my heart to

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 167

God. In the evening, enjoyed a blessed season alone In prayer;
was enabled to cry to God with a child-like spirit, for the space of
near an hour; enjoyed a sweet freedom in supplicating for myself,
for dear friends, ministers, and some who are preparing for that
work, and for the church of God ; and longed to be as lively
myself in God's service as the angels.

Oct. 25. " Was busy in writing. Was very sensible of my
absolute dependence on God in all respects ; saw that I could do
nothing, even in those affairs for which I have sufficient natural
faculties, unless God should smile upon my attempt. "Not that
we are sufficient of ourselves, to think any thing, as of ourselves,"
I saw was a sacred truth

Oct. 26. " In the morning, my soul was melted with a sense
of divine goodness and mercy to such a vile unworthy worm. I
delighted to lean upon God, and place my whole trust in him.
My soul was exceedingly grieved for sin, and prized, and longed
after holiness ; it wounded my heart deeply, yet sweetly, to think
how I had abused a kind God. I longed to be perfectly holy, that
I might not grieve a gracious God; who will continue to love,
notwithstanding his love is abused ! I longed for holiness more
for this end, than 1 did for my own happiness' sake : and yet this
was my greatest happiness, never more to dishonour, but always
to glorify the blessed God. Afterwards, rode up to the Indians,
in the afternoon, &c."

The four next days, he was exercised with much disorder and
pain of body, with a degree of melancholy and gloominess of
mind, bitterly complaining of deadness and unprofitableness, yet
mourning and longing after God.

Oct. 31. " Was sensible of my barrenness and decays in the
things of God : my soul failed when I remembered the fervency
which I had enjoyed at the throne of grace. O, I thought, if f
could but be spiritual, warm, heavenly-minded, and affectionate-
ly breathing after God, this would be better than life to me ! My
soul longed exceedingly for death, to be loosed from this dulness
and barrenness, and made for ever active in the service of God.
I seemed to live for nothing, and to do no good : and O, the bur-
den of such a life ! O death, death, my kind friend, hasten, and
deliver me from dull mortality, and make me spiritual and vigo-
rous to eternity !

Nov. 1. '* Had but little sweetness in divine things ; but after-
wards, in the evening, felt some life, and longings after God. I
longed to be always solemn, devout, and heavenly-minded: and

.168 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

was afraid to leave off praying, lest I should again lose a sense of
the sweet things of God.

Nov. 2. " Was filled with sorrow and confusion, in the morn-
ing, and could enjoy no sweet sense of divine things, nor get any
relief in prayer. Saw I deserved that ever}' one of God's crea-
tures should be let loose, to be the executioners of his wrath
against me ; and vet therein saw 1 deserved what I did not fear
as my portion. About noon, rode up to the Indians ; and while
going, could feel no desires for them, and even dreaded to say
any thing to them; but God was pleased to give me some free-
dom and enlargement, and made the season comfortable to me.
In the evening, had enlargement in prayer. But, alas ! what
comforts and enlargements 1 have felt for these many weeks past
have been only transient and short; and the greater part of my time
has been filled up with deadness, or struggles with deadness, and
bitter conflicts with corruption. I have found myself exercised
sorely with some particular things that I thought myself most of
all freed from. And thus 1 have ever found it, when I have
thought the battle was over, and the conquest gained, and so, let
down my watch, the enemy has risen up and done me the greatest
injury.

Nov. 3. "I read the life and trials of a godly man, and was
much warmed by it : I wondered at my past deadness ; and was
more convinced of it than ever. Was enabled to confess and
bewail my sin before God, with self-abhorrence.

Lord's day, Nov. 4. " Had, 1 think, some exercise of faith in
prayer, in the morning : longed to be spiritual. Had considera-
ble help in preaching to my poor Indians : was encouraged with
them, and hoped that God designed mercy for them."

The next day, Nov. 5. he concluded the following letter to
Rev. Mr. Pemberton, of New York, giving an account of his la-
bours and success, both at Kaunaumeek and at the Forks of Dd
aware.

TO THE REV. EBEXEZER PEMBERTON.

Forks of Delaware, Nov, 5, 17 M.
1sRev. Sir,

"Since vou are pleased to require of me some brief and fen-
eral account of my conduct in the aflfair of my mission among the
Indians ; the pains and endeavours I have used to propagate
Christian knowledge among them ; the difficulties 1 have met with
in pursuance of that great work ; and the hopeful and encourag-
ing appearances I have observed in any of them: I shall now

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 169

endeavour to answer your demands, by giving a brief but faithful
account of the most material things relating to that important affair,
with which I have been and am still concerned. This 1 shall do
with more freedom and cheerfulness, both because I apprehend
it will be a likely means to give pious persons, who are concern-
ed for the kingdom of Christ, some just apprehension of the
many and great difficulties that attend the propagation of it among
the poor Pagans; and consequently, it is hoped, will engage
their more frequent and fervent prayers to God, that those may
be succeeded, who are employed in this arduous work. Besides,
I persuade myself, that the tidings of the gospel spreading among
the poor Heathen, will be, to those who are waiting for the ac-
complishment of the " glorious things spoken of the city of our
God," as " good news from a far country ;" and that these will be
so far from " despising the day of small things," that, on the con-
trary, the least dawn of encouragement and hope, in this im-
portant affair, will rather inspire their pious breasts with more
generous and warm desires, that " the kingdoms of this world,
may speedily become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his
Christ." — 1 shall therefore immediately proceed to the business
before me, and briefly touch upon the most important matters
thathave concerned my mission, from the beginning to this present
time.

" On March 15, 1743, I waited on the Correspondents for the
Indian mission at New York; and the week following, attended
their meeting at Woodbridge, in New Jersey, and was speedily
dismissed by them with orders to attempt the instruction of a
number of Indians in a place some miles distant from the city of
Albany. And on the first day of Aprilfollowing, I arrived among
the Indians, at a place called by them Kaunaumeek, in the
county of Albany, nearly twenty miles distant from the city
eastward.

" The place, as to its situation, was sufficiently lonesome and
unpleasant, being encompassed with mountains and woods ; twen-
ty miles distant from any English inhabitants ; six or seven from
any Dutch ; and more than two from a family that came, some
time since, from the Highlands of Scotland, and had then lived,
as I remember, about two years in this wilderness* In this fam-
ily I lodged about the space ef three months, the master of it
being the only person with whom I could readily converse in
those parts, except my interpreter; others understanding very
little English.

"After I had spent about three months in this situation, I found
my distance from the Indians a very gre;4 disadvantage to my
work among them, and very burdensome to myself; as I was

170 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

obliged to travel forward and backward almost daily on foot,
having no pasture in which I could keep my horse for that pur-
pose. And after all my pains, could not be with the Indians in
the evening and morning, which were usually the best hours to
find them at home, and when they could best attend my instruc-
tions.— I therefore resolved to remove, and live with or near the
Indians, that I might watch all opportunities, when they were
generally at home, and take the advantage of such seasons for
their instructions.

" Accordingly I removed soon after ; and, for some time, lived
with them in one of their wigwams; and, not long after, built me
a small house, where I spent the remainder of that year entirely
alone; my interpreter, who was an Indian, choosing rather to
live in a wigman among his own countrymen. — This way of liv-
ing I found attended with many difficulties, and uncomfortable
circumstances, in a place where I could get none of the necessa-
ries and common comforts of life, (no, not so much as a morsel of
bread,) but what I brought from places fifteen and twenty miles
distant, and oftentimes was obliged, for some time together, to
content myself without, for want of an opportunity to procure
the things I needed.

" But although the difficulties of this solitary way of living are
not the least, or most inconsiderable, (and doubtless are, in fact,
many more and greater to those'who experience, than they can
readily appear to those who only view them at a distance,) yet I
can truly say that the burden I felt respecting my great work
among the poor Indians, the fear and concern that continually
hung upon my spirit, lest they should be prejudiced against Chris-
tianity, and their minds imbittered against me, and my labours
among them by means of the insinuations of some who, although
they are called Christians, seem to have no concern for Christ's
kingdom, but had rather (as their conduct plainly discovers) that
the Indians should remain Heathens, that they may with the more
ease cheat, and so enrich themselves by them — were much more
pressing to me, than all the difficulties that attended the circum-
stances of my living.

"As to the state or temper, of mind in which I found these In-
dians, at my first coming among them, I may justly say, it was
much more desirable and encouraging, than what appears among
those who are altogether uncultivated. Their Heathenish jeal-
ousies and suspicion, and their prejudices against Christianity,
were in a great measure removed by the long-continued labours
of the Reverend Mr. Sargeant among a number of the same
tribe, in a place little more than twenty miles distant. Hence,
these were, in some good degree, prepared to entertain the

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 171

truths of Christianity, instead of objecting against them, and
appearing almost entirely untractable, as is common with them
at first, and as, perhaps, these appeared a few years ago.
Some of them, at least, appeared very well disposed towards
religion, and seemed much pleased with my coming among
them.

" In my labours with them, in order to " turn them from dark-
ness to light," I studied what was most plain and easy, and best
suited to their capacities ; and endeavoured to set before them
from time to time, as they were able to receive them, the most
important and necessary truths of Christianity ; such as most im-
mediately concerned their speedy conversion to God, and such
as I judged had the greatest tendency, as means, to effect that
glorious change in them. But especially I made it the scope and
drift of all my labours, to lead them into a thorough acquaintance
with these two things — First, The sinfulness and misery of the
estate they were naturally in; the evil of their hearts, the pollu-
tion of their natures; the heavy guilt they were under, and their
exposedness to everlasting punishment ; as also their utter inabili-
ty to save themselves, either from their sins, or from those mise-
ries which are the just punishment of them ; and their unworthi-
ness of any mercy at the hand of God, on account of any thing
they themselves could do to procure his favour, and consequent-
ly their extreme need of Christ to save them. And, secondly.

I frequently endeavoured to open to them the fulness, all-suffi-
ciency, andfreeness of that redemption, which the Son of God has
wrought out by his obedience and sufferings, for perishing sinners:
how this provision he had made, was suited to all their wants;
and how he called and invited them to accept of everlasting
life freely, notwithstanding all their sinfulness, inability, unwor-
thiness, &c.

" After I had been with the Indians several months, I composed
sundry forms of prayer, adapted to their circumstances and ca-
pacities ; which, with the help of my interpreter, I translated
into the Indian language ; and soon learned to pronounce their
words, so as to pray with them in their own tongue. I also trans-
lated sundry psalms into their language, and soon after we were
able to sing in the worship of God.

"When my people had gained some acquaintance with many of
the truths of Christianity, so that they were capable of receiving
and understanding many others, which at first could not be taught
them, by reason of their ignorance of those that were necessary
to be previously known, and upon which others depended ; I then
gave them an historical account of God's dealings with his ancient
professing people the Jews ; some of the ritds and ceremonies

172 MEMOIRS OF BKAINEKD.

they were obliged to observe, as their sacrafices, &c; and what
these were designed to represent to them : as also some of the
surprising miracle? God wrought for their salvation, while they
trusted in him, and sore punishments he sometimes brought upon
them, when they forsook and sinned against him. Afterwards I
proceeded to give them a relation of the birth, life, miracles,
sufferings, death, and resurrection of Christ; as well as his as-
cension, and the wonderful effusion of the holy Spirit consequent
thereupon.

"And having thus endeavoured to prepare the way by such a
general account of things, I next proceeded to read and expound
to them the gospel of St. Matthew (at least the substance of it) in
course, wherein they had a more distinct and particular view of
what they had before some general notion. — These expositions I
attended almost every evening, when there was any considerable
number of them at home ; except when I was obliged to be absent
myself, in order to learn the Indian language with the Rev. Mr.

Sargeant. Besides these means of instruction, there was

likewise an English school constantly kept by my interpreter
among the Indians ; which I used frequently to visit, in order to
give the children and young people some proper instructions, and
serious exhortations suited to their age.

The degree of knoiclcdge to which some of them attained, was
< onsiderable. Many of the truths of Christianity seemed fixed
in their minds, especially in some instances, so that they would
speak to me of them, and ask such questions about them, as
were necessary to render them more plain and clear to their un-
derstandings.— The children, also, and young people, who at-
tended the school, made considerable proficiency (at least some
of them) in their learning ; so that had they understood the Eng-
lish language well, they would have been able to read somewhat
readily in a psalter.

"But that which was most of all desirable, and gave me the
greatest encouragement amidst many difficulties and disconsolate
hours, was, that the truths of God's word seemed, at times, to
be attended with some power upon the hearts and consciences of
the Indians. And especially this appeared evident in a few in-
stances, who were awakened to some sense of their miserable
estate by nature, and appeared solicitous for diliverance from it.
Several of them came, of their own accord, to discourse with me
about their souls' concerns; and some, with tears, inquired "what
they should do to be saved/" and whether the God that Chris-
tians served, would be merciful to those that had been frequently
drunk, &c.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 173

" And although I cannot say that I have satisfactory evidences
of their being "renewed in the spirit of their mind,'' and saving-
ly converted to God; yet the Spirit of God did, I apprehend, in
such a manner attend the means of grace, and so operate upon
their minds thereby, as might justly afford matter of encourage-
ment to hope, that God designed good to them, and that he was
preparing his way into their souls.

" There likewise appeared a reformation in the lives and man-
ners of the Indians. — Their idolatrous sacrajices (of which there
was but one or two, that I know of, after my coming among them)
were wholly laid aside. And their Heathenish custom of dancing,
hallooing, he. they seemed in a considerable measure to have
abandoned. And I could not but hope, that they were reformed
in some measure from the sin of drunkenness. They likewise
manifested a regard for the Lord's day, and not only behaved
soberly themselves, but took care also to keep their children in
order.

"Yet, after all, I must confess, that as there were many hopeful
appearances among them, so there were some things more dis-
couraging. And while I rejoiced to observe any seriousness and
concern among them about the affairs of their souls, still I was
not without continual fear and concern, lest such encouraging
appearances might prove " like a morning cloud, that passeth
away."

" When I had spent near a year with the Indians, I informed
them that I expected to leave them in the spring then approaching,
and to be sent to another tribe of Indians, at a great distance from
them. On hearing this, they appeared very sorrowful, and some
of them endeavoured to persuade me to continue with them ; urg-
ing that they had now heard so much about their souls' concerns,
that they could never more be willing to live as they had done,
without a minister, and further instructions in the way to heaven,
he. Whereupon I told them, they ought to be willing that others
also should hear about their souls' concerns, seeing those needed
it as much as themselves. Yet further to dissuade me from go-
ing, they added, that those Indians, to whom I had thoughts of
going (as they had heard) were not willing to become Christians
as they were, and therefore urged me to tarry with them. I then
told them, that they might receive further instruction without me;
but the Indians, to whom I expected to be sent, could not, there be-
ing no minister near to teach them. And hereupon I advised them,
in case I should leave them, and be sent elsewhere, to remove to
Stockbridge, where they might be supplied with land, and conve-
niences of living, and be under the ministry of the Rev. Mr. Sar-

174 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

geant: with which advice and proposal, they seemed disposed to
comply.

"On April 6, 1744. 1 was ordered and directed by the cor-
respondents for the Indian mission, to take leave of the people,
with whom I had then spent a full year, and to go, as soon as
conveniently I could, to a tribe of Indians on Delaware river in
Pennsylvania.

" These orders I soon attended, and on April 29th took leave
of my people, who were mostly removed to Stockbridge under
the care of the Rev. Mr. Sargeant. I then set out on my journey
toward Delaware; and on May 10th, met with a number of In-
dians in a place called JMiunissinks, about a hundred and forty
miles from Kaunaumeek, (the place where I spent the last year,)
and directly in my way to Delaware river. With these Indians I
spent some time, and first addressed their king in a friendly man-
ner; and after some discourse, and attempts to contract a friend-
ship with him, I told him I had a desire (for his benefit and happi-
ness) to instruct them in Christianity. At which he laughed,
turned his back upon me, and went away. I then addressed an-
other principal man in the same manner, who said he was willing
to hear me. After some time, I followed the king into his house,
and renewed my discourse to him : but he declined talking, and
left the affair to another, who appeared to be a rational man. He
began, and talked very warmly near a quarter of an hour together:
he inquired why I desired the Indians to become Christians, see-
ing the Christians were so much worse than the Indians are in
their present state. The Christians, he said, would lie, steal,
and drink, worse than the Indians. It was they first taught the
Indians to be drunk : and they stole from one another, to that
degree, that their rulers were obliged to hang them for it, and that
was not sufficient to deter others from the like practice. But the
Indians, he added, were none of them ever hanged for stealing,
and yet they did not steal half so much ; and he supposed that if
the Indians should become Christians, they would then be as bad
as these. And hereupon he said, they would live as their fathers
lived, and go where their fathers were when they died. I then
freely owned, lamented, and joined with him in condemning the ill
conduct of some who are called Christians: told him, these were
not Christians in heart; that I hated such wicked practices, and
did not desire the Indians to become such as these. — And when
he appeared calmer, I asked him if he was willing that I should
come and see them again ? He replied, he should be willing
to see me again, as a friend, if I would not desire them to be-
come Christians. — I then bid them farewell, and prosecuted my

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 175

journey toward Delaware. And May 13th, I arrived at a place cal-
led by the Indians Sakhauivotung, within the Forks of Delaware
in Pennsylvania.

"Here also, when I came to the Indians, I saluted their king,
and others, in a manner I thought most engaging. And soon af-
ter informed the king of my desire to instruct them in the Chris-
tian religion. After he had consulted a few minutes with two or
three old men, he told me he was willing to hear. I then preach-
ed to those few that were present; who appeared very attentive
and well disposed. And the king in particular seemed both to
wonder, and at the same time to be well pleased with what I taught
them, respecting the divine Being, &c. And since that time he
has ever shewn himself friendly to me, giving me free liberty to
preach in his house, whenever I think fit. — Here therefore I have
spent the greater part of the summer past, preaching usually in the
king's house.

" The number of Indians in this place is but small ; most of
those that formerly belonged here, are dispersed, and removed to
places farther back in the country. There are not more than ten
houses hereabouts, that continue to be inhabited; and some of
these are several miles distant from others, which makes it diffi-
cult for the Indians to meet together so frequently as could be
desired.

" When I first began to preach here, the number of my hearers
was very small ; often not exceeding twenty or twenty-five persons:
but towards the latter part of the summer, their number increased,
so that I have frequently had forty persons, or more, at once; and
oftentimes most belonging to those parts, came together to hear
me preach.

" The effects which the truths of God's word have had upon
some of the Indians in this place, are somewhat encouraging.
Sundry of them are brought to renounce idolatry, and to decline
partaking of those feasts which they used to offer in sacrafice to
certain supposed unknown powers. And some few among them
have, for a considerable time, manifested a serious concern for
their souls' eternal welfare, and still continue to " inquire the way
to Zion," with such diligence, affection, and becoming solicitude,
as gives me reason to hope that " God who, I trust, has begun this
work in them," will carry it on, until it shall issue in their saving
conversion to himself. These not only detest their old idolatrous
notions, but strive also to bring their friends off from them. And
as they are seeking salvation for their own souls, so they seem de-
sirous, and some of them take pains, that others might be excited
to do the like.

176 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

" In July last I heard of a number of Indians residing at a
place called Kauksesauchung, more than thirty miles westward
from the place where I usually preach. I visited them, found
about thirty persons, and proposed my desire of preaching to
them; they readily complied, and I preached to them only twice,
they being just then removing from this place where they only
lived for the present, to Susquehannah-river, where they be-
longed.

"While I was preaching, they appeared sober, and attentive;
and were somewhat surprised, having never before heard of these
things. There were two or three who suspected that I had some
ill design upon them ; and urged, that the white people had abus-
ed them, and taken their lands from them, and therefore they had
no reason to think that they were now concerned for their happi-
ness ; but, on the contrary, that they designed to make them
slaves, or get them on board their vessels, and make them fight
with the people over the water, (as they expressed it,) meaning
the French and Spaniards. However, the most of them appeared
very friendly, and told me, they were then going directly home
to Susquehannah, and desired I would make them a visit there,
and manifested a considerable desire of further instruction. — This
invitation gave me some encouragement in my great work ; and
made me hope, that God designed to " open an effectual door to
me" for spreading the gospel among the poor Heathen farther
westward.

" In the beginning of October last, with the advice and direction
of the correspondents for the Indian mission, I undertook ajourney
to Susquehannah. And after three days tedious travel, two of
them through a wilderness almost unpassable, by reason of moun-
tains and rocks, and two nights lodging in the open wilderness, I
came to an Indian settlement on the side of Susquehannah-river,
called Opeholhaupung; where were twelve Indian houses, and
(as nigh as I could learn) about seventy souls, old and young, be-
longing to them.

" Here also, soon after my arrival, I visited the king, addres-
sing him with expressions of kindness ; and after a few words of
friendship, informed him of my desire to teach them the knowl-
edge of Christianity. He hesitated not long before he told me,
that he was willing to hear. I then preached ; and continued there
several days, preaching everyday, as long as the Indians were at
home. And they, in order to hear me, deferred the design of
their general hunting (which they were just then entering upon)
for the space of three or four davs.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 177

"The men, 1 think universally (except one) attended my preach-
ing. Only the women, supposing the affair we were upon was of
a public nature, belonging only to the men, and not what every
individual person should concern himself with, could not readily
be persuaded to come and hear : but, after much pains used with
them for that purpose, some few ventured to come, and stand at
a distance.

" When I had preached to the Indians several times, some of
them very frankly proposed what they had to object against Chris-
tianity ; and so gave me a fair opportunity for using my best en-
deavours to remove from their minds those scruples and jealous-
ies they laboured under: and when I had endeavoured to answer
their objections, some appeared much satisfied. I then asked
the king, if he was willing I should visit and preach to them
again, if I should live to the next spring ? He replied, he should
be heartily willing for his own part, and added, he wished the
young people would learn, &c. I then put the same question to
the rest ; some answered they would be very glad, and none man-
ifested any dislike to it.

" There were sundry other things in their behaviour, which
appeared with a comfortable and encouraging aspect; that, upon
the whole, I could not but rejoice I had taken that journey among
them, although it was attended with many difficulties and hard-
ships. The method I used with them, and the instructions I
gave them, I am persuaded were means, in some measure, to
remove their heathenish jealousies and prejudices against Chris-
tianity : and I could not but hope, the God of all grace was pre-
paring their minds to receive "the truth as it is in Jesus." If
this may be the happy consequence, I shall not only rejoice in
my past labours and fatigues ; but shall, I trust also " be willing
to spend and be spent." if I may thereby be instrumental " to
turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to
God."

"Thus, Sir, I have given you a faithful account of what has
been most considerable respecting my mission among the Indians;
in which I have studied all convenient brevity. I shall only now
take leave to add a word or two respecting the difficulties that at-
tend the Christianizing of these poor Pagans.

" In the first place, their minds are filled with prejudices against
Christianity, on account of the vicious lives and unchristian be-
haviour of some that are called Christians. These not only
set before them the worst examples, but some of them take
pains, expressly in words, to dissuade them from becoming
Christians ; foreseeing, that if these should be converted to

178 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

God, " the hope of their unlawful gain," would thereby be
lost.

" Again, these poor Heathens are extremely attached to the
customs, traditions, and fabulous notions of their fathers. And
this one seems to be the foundation of all their other notions,
viz. that " it was not the same God made them, who made the
white people," but another, who commanded them to live by
hunting, &c. and not to conform to the customs of the white peo-
ple. Hence, when they are desired to become Christians,

they frequently reply, that " they will live as their fathers lived,
and go to their fathers when they die." And if the miracles of
Christ and his apostles be mentioned, to prove the truth of Chris-
tianity, they also mention sundry miracles, which their fathers
Unve told them were anciently wrought among the Indians, and
which Satan makes them believe were so. — They are much at-
tached to idolatry ; frequently making feasts, which they eat in
honour to some unknown beings, who, they suppose, speak to
them in dreams; promising them success in hunting, and other
affairs, in case they will sacrafice to them. They oftentimes also
offer their sacrafices to the spirits of the dead ; who, they suppose,
stand in need of favours from the living, and yet are in such a
state as that they can well reward all the offices of kindness that
are shewn them. And they impute all their calamities to the neg-
lect of these sacrafices.

" Furthermore, they are much awed by those among them-
selves, who are called powwows, who are supposed to have a
power of enchanting, or poisoning them to death, or at least in
a very distressing manner. And they apprehended it would be
their sad fate to be thus enchanted, in case they should become
Christians.

" Lastly, the manner of their living is likewise a great disadvan-
tage to the design of their being Christianized. They are almost
continually roving from place to place ; and it is but rare, that an
opportunity can be had with some of them for their instruction.
There is scarce any time of the year, wherein the men can be
found generally at home, except about six weeks before, and in
the season of planting their corn, and about two months in the
latter part of summer, from the time they begin to roast their
corn, until it is fit to gather in.

" As to the hardships that necessarily attend a mission among
them, the fatigues of frequent journeying in the wilderness, the
unpleasantness of a mean and hard way of living, and the great
difficulty of addressing " a people of a strange language," these
I shall, at present, pass over in silence ; designing what I have
already said of difficulties attending this work, not for the dis-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 17ft

couragement of any, but rather for the incitement of all who
"love the appearing of the kingdom of Christ," to frequent the
throne of grace with earnest supplications, that the Heathen,
who were anciently promised to Christ " for his inheritance,"
may now actually and speedily be brought into his kingdom of
grace, and made heirs of immortal glory.

"I am, Sir,

" Your obedient, humble servant,

"David Brainerd."

The same day, Nov. 5, he set out on a journey to New York, to
the meeting of the Presbytery there ; and was from home more
than a fortnight. He seemed to enter on this journey with great
reluctance ; fearing that the diversions of it would prove a means
of cooling his religious affections, as he had found in other jour-
neys. Yet, in this journey, he had some special seasons wherein
he enjoyed extraordinary evidences and fruits of God's gracious
presence. He was greatly fatigued, and exposed to cold and
storms : and when he returned from New York to New Jersey,
on Friday, was taken very ill, and was detained by his illness
some time.

Nov. 21. " Rode from Newark to Rockciticus in the cold, and
was almost overcome with it. Enjoyed some sweetness in con-
versation with dear Mr. Jones, while I dined with him. My soul
loves the people of God, and especially the ministers of Jesus
Christ, who feel the same trials that I do.

Nov. 22. "Came on my way from Rockciticus to the Dela-
ware. Was very much disordered with a cold and pain in my
head. About six at night, I lost my way in the wilderness, and
wandered over rocks and mountains, down hideous steeps, through
swamps, and most dreadful and dangerous places ; and, the night
being dark, so that few stars could be seen, I was greatly exposed.
I was much pinched with cold, and distressed with an extreme
pain in my head, attended with sickness at my stomach ; so that
every step I took was distressing to me. I had little hope for
several hours together, but that I must lie out in the woods all
night, in this distressed case. But about nine o'clock, I found a
house, through the abundant goodness of God, and was kindly
entertained. Thus I have frequently been exposed, and some-
times lain out the whole night : but God has hitherto preserved
me; and blessed be his name. Such fatigues and hardships as
these serve to wean me from the earth ; and, 1 trust, will make
heaven the sweeter. Formerly, when I was thus exposed to cold,
rain, &c. I was ready to please myself with the thoughts of

180 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

enjoying a comfortable house, a warm fire, and other outward com-
forts; but now these have less place in my heart, (through the grace
of God,) and my eye is more to God for comfort. In this world I
expect tribulation ; and it does not now, as formerly, appear
strange to me. I do not in such seasons of difficulty flatter my-
self that it will be better hereafter ; but rather think how much
ivorse it might be; how much greater trials others of God's chil-
dren have endured; and how much greater are yet perhaps reser-
ved for me. Blessed be God, that he makes the thoughts of my
journey's end, and of my dissolution, a great comfort to me, under
my sharpest trials ; and scarce ever lets these-thoughts be attended
with terror or melancholy; but they are attended frequently with
great joy.

Nov. 23. "Visited a sick man ; discoursed and prayed with
him. Then visited another house, where was one dead and laid
out ; looked on the corpse, and longed that my time might come
to depart, that 1 might be with Christ. Then went home to my
lodgings, about one o'clock. Felt poorly ; but was able to read,
most of the afternoon."

Within the space of the next twelve days, he passed under many
changes in the frames and exercises of his mind. He had many
seasons of the special influences of God's Spirit, animating, in-
vigorating, and comforting him in the ways of God and the duties
of religion : but had some turns of great dejection and melancholy.
He spent much time, within this space, in hard labour, with oth-
ers, to make for himself a little cottage or hut, to live in by him-
self through the winter. Yet he frequently preached to the In-
dians, and speaks of special assistance which he had from time to
time, in addressing himself to them; and of his sometimes having
considerable encouragement from the attention which they gave.
But on Tuesday, December 4, he was sunk into great dicourage-
ment, to see most of them going in company to an idolatrous/eas^
and dance, after he had taken abundant pains to dissuade them
from these things.

Dec. 6. "Having now a happy opportunity of being retired in
a house of my own, which 1 have lately procured and moved into;
considering that it is now a long time since I have been able, ei-
ther on account of bodily weakness, or for want of retirement, or
some other difficulty to spend anytime in secretfasting and prayer;
considering also the greatness of my work, the extreme difficul-
culties that attend it, and that my poor Indians are now worship-
ping devils, notwithstanding all the pains I have taken with them,

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 181

v.-hich almost overwhelms my spirit; moreover, considering my
extreme barrenness, spiritual deadness and dejection, of late ; as
also the power of some particular corruptions; I set apart this day
for secret prayer and fasting, to implore the blessing of God on
myself, on my poor people, on my friends, and on the church of
God. At first, I felt a great backwardness to the duties of the
day, on account of the seeming impossibility of performing them;
but the Lord helped me to break through this difficulty. God
was pleased by the use of means, to give me some clear convic-
tion of my sinfulness, and a discovery of the plague of my own
heart, more affecting than what I have of late had. And espe-
cially I saw my sinfulness in this, that when God had withdrawn
himself, then, instead of living and dying in pursuit of him, I
have been disposed to one of these two things; either, first, to
yield an unbecoming respect to some earthly objects, as if happi-
ness were to be derived from them ; or, secondly, to be secretly
froward and impatient, and unsuitably desirous of death, so that I
have sometimes thought I could not bear to think that my life
must be lengthened out. That which often drove me to this im-
patient desire of death, was a despair of doing any good in life ;
and I chose death rather than a life spent for nothing. But now
God made me sensible of my sin in these things, and enabled me
to cry to him for forgiveness. Yet this was not all which I wanted,
for my soul appeared exceedingly polluted, my heart seemed like
a nest of vipers, or a cage of unclean and hateful birds ; and there-
fore I wanted to be purified "by the blood of sprinkling, that
cleanseth from all sin." This, I hope, I was enabled to pray for
in faith. I enjoyed much more intenseness, fervency, and spirit-
uality, than I expected ; God was better to me than my fears.
Towards night, I felt my soul rejoice, that God is unchangeably
happy and glorious ; and that he will be glorified, whatever be-
comes of his creatures. I was enabled to persevere in prayer,
until sometime in the evening : at which time 1 saw so much need
of divine help, in every respect, that 1 knew not how to leave off,
and had forgot that I needed food. This evening, I was much
assisted in meditating on Is. lii. 3. For thus saith the Lord, ye
have sold yourselves for nought, &c. Blessed be the Lord for any
help in the past day.

Dec. 7. "Spent some time in prayer, in the morning; enjoy-
ed some freedom and affection in the duty, and had longing de-
sires of being made "faithful to the death." Spent a little time in
writing on a divine subject: then visited the Indians, and preach-
ed to them; but under inexpressible dejection. I had no heart to
speak to them, and could not do it, but as I forced myself: I

182 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

knew they must hate to hear me, as having but just got home from
their idolatrous feast and devil-worship. — In the evening, had
some freedom in prayer and meditation.

Dec. 8. " Have been uncommonly free this day from de-
jection, and from that distressing apprehension, that I could do
nothing; was enabled to pray and study with some comfort;
and especially was assisted in writing on a divine subject. In
the evening, my soul rejoiced in God ; and I blessed his name
for shining on my soul. O, the sweet and blessed change I then
felt, when God " brought me out of darkness into his marvellous
light !"

Lord's day, Dec. 9. " Preached, both parts of the day, at a
place called Greenwich, in New Jersey, about ten miles from my
own house. In the first discourse I had scarce any warmth or af-
fectionate longing for souls. In the intermediate season I got
alone among the bushes, and cried to God for pardon of my dead-
ness ; and was in anguish and bitterness, that I could not address
souls with more compassion and tender affection. I judged and
condemned myself for want of this divine temper ; though I saw
I could not get it as of myself, any more than I could make a
world. In the latter exercise, blessed be the Lord, I had some
fervency, both in prayer and preaching ; and especially in the ap-
plication of my discourse, I was enabled to address precious souls
with affection, concern, tenderness, and importunity. The Spirit
of God, I think, was there ; as the affects were apparent, tears
running down many cheeks.

Dec. 10. "Near noon, I preached again : God gave me some
assistance, and enabled me to be in some degree faithful ; so that
I had peace in my own soul, and a very comfortable composure,
" although Israel should not be gathered." Came away from
Greenwich and rode home ; arrived just in the evening. By the
way my soul blessed God for his goodness; and I rejoiced, that
so much of my work was done, and I so much nearer my blessed
reward. Blessed be God for grace to be faithful.

Dec. 11. " Felt very poorly in body, being much tired and
worn out the last night. Was assisted in some measure in writing
on a divine subject: but was so feeble and sore in my breast, that
I had not much resolution in my work. O, how I long for that
world " where the weary are at rest !" and yet through the good-
ness of God I do not now feel impatient.

Dec. 12. "Was again very weak; but somewhat assisted in
secret prayer, and enabled with pleasure and sweetness to cry,
"Come, Lord Jesus! come, Lord Jesus! come quickly." My
soul " longed for God, for the living God." O, how delightful it

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 183

is, to pray under such sweet influences ! O, how much better is
this, than one's necessary food! I had at this time no disposition
to eat, (though late in the morning;) for earthly food appeared
wholly tasteless. O how much "better is thy love than wine,"
than the sweetest wine / — I visited and preached to the Indians,
in the afternoon,- but under much dejection. Found my Inter-
preter under some concern for his soul ; which was some comfort
to me ; and yet filled me with new care. I longed greatly for his
conversion; lifted up my heart to God for it, while I was talking
to him; came home, and poured out my soul to God for him ; en-
joyed some freedom in prayer, and was enabled, I think, to leave
all with God.

Dec. 13. "Endeavoured to spend the day in fasting and prayer,
to implore the divine blessing, more especially on my poor peo-
ple ; and in particular, I sought for converting grace for my Inter-
preter, and three or four more under some concern for their souls.
I was much disordered in the morning when I arose; but having
determined to spend the day in this manner, I attempted it. Some
freedom I had in pleading for these poor concerned souls, several
times ; and when interceding for them, I enjoyed greater freedom
from wandering and distracting thoughts, than in any part of my sup-
plications. But, in the general, I was greatly exercised with wan-
derings; so (hat in the evening it seemed as if I had need to pray
for nothing so much as for the pardon of sins committed in the day
past, and the vileness I then found in myself. The sins I had most
sense of, were pride, and wandering thoughts, whereby I mocked
God. The former of these cursed inquiries excited me to think
of writing, preaching, or converting Heathens, or performing
some other great work, that my name might live when 1 should
be dead. My soul was in anguish, and ready to drop into despair,
to find so much of that cursed temper. With this, and the other
evil I laboured under, viz. wandering thoughts, I was almost over-
whelmed, and even ready to give over striving after a spirit of de-
votion ; and oftentimes sunk into a considerable degree of de-
spondency, and thought I was " more brutish than any man."
Yet after all my sorrows, I trust, through grace, this day and
the exercises of it have been for my good, and taught me more
of my corruption, and weakness without Christ, than I knew be-
fore.

Dec. 14. " Near noon, went to the Indians ; but knew not
what to say to them, and was ashamed to look them in the face. 1
felt that I had no power to address their consciences, and there-
fore had no boldness to say any thing. Was, much of the day, in

184 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

a great degree of despair about ever " doing or seeing any good
in the land of the living."

He continued under the same dejection the next day.

Lord's day, Dec. 16. '-Was so overwhelmed with dejection,
that I knew not how to live. I longed for death exceedingly: my
soul was sunk into deep waters, and the floods were ready to drown
me. I was so much oppressed, that my soul was in a kind of hor-
ror ; could not keep my thoughts fixed in prayer, for the space of
one minute, without fluttering and distraction ; and was exceeding-
ly ashamed, that 1 did not live to God. I had no distressing
doubt about my own state; but would have cheerfully ventured
(as far as I could possibly know) into eternity. While I was going
to preach to the Indians, my soul was in anguish ; I was so over-
borne with discouragement, that I despaired of doing any good,
and was driven to my wit's-end ; I knew nothing what to say, nor
what course to take. But at last I insisted on the evidence we
have of the truth of Christianity from the miracles of Christ ;
many of which I set before them : and God helped me to make
a close application to those who refused to believe the truth of
what I taught them. Indeed, I was enabled to .speak to the con-
sciences of all, in some measure, and was somewhat encouraged,
to find that God enabled me to be faithful once more. Then came
and preached to another company of them ; but was very weary
and faint. In the evening, I was refreshed, and enabled to pray
and praise God with composure and affection ; had some enlarge-
ment and courage with respect to my work ; was willing to live,
and longed to do more for God than my weak state of body would
admit of. " I can do all things through Christ that strengthens
me ;" and by his grace, I am willing to spend and be spent in
his service, when I am not thus sunk in dejection, and a kind of
despair.

Dec. 17. "Was comfortable in mind, most of the day; was
enabled to pray with some freedom, cheerfulness, composure,
and devotion ; and had also some assistance in writing on a divine
subject.

Dec. 18. "Went to the Indians, and discoursed to them near
an hour, without any power to come close to their hearts. But
at last I felt some fervency, and God helped me to speak with
warmth. My Interpreter also was amazingly assisted ; and I doubt
not but that "the Spirit of God was upon him;" though I had no
reason to think he had any true and saving grace, but was only
under conviction of his lost state ; and presently upon this most

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 185

of the grown persons were much affected, and the tears ran down
their cheeks. One old man, I suppose an hundred years old, was
so much affected, that he wept, and seemed convinced of the im-
portance of what I taught them. I staid with them a considerable
time, exhorting and directing them; and came away, lifting up my
heart to God in prayer and praise, and encouraged and exhorted
my Interpreter to "strive to enter in at the strait gate." Came
home, and spent most of the evening in prayer and thanksgiving;
and found myself much enlarged and quickened. Was greatly
concerned, that the Lord's work which seemed to be begun, mi^ht
be carried on with power, to the conversion of poor souls, and the
glory of divine grace.

Dec. 19. " Spent a great part of the day in prayer to God
for the outpouring of his Spirit on my poor people ; as also to
bless his name for awakening my Interpreter and some others,
and giving us some tokens of his presence yesterday. And blessed
be God, I had much freedom, five or six times in the day, in
prayer and praise, and felt a weighty concern upon my spirit for
the salvation of those precious souls, and the enlargement of the
Redeemer's kingdom among them. My soul hoped in God for
some success in my ministry: and blessed be his name for so much
hope.

Dec. 20. " Was enabled to visit the throne of grace frequently
this day ; and through divine goodness enjoyed much freedom and
fervency, sundry times : was much assisted in crying for mercy for
my poor people, and felt cheerfulness and hope in my requests
for them. I spent much of the day in writing ; but was enabled
to intermix prayer with my studies.

Dec. 21. " Was enabled again to pray with freedom, cheerful-
ness, and hope. God was pleased to make the duty comfortable
and pleasant to me ; so that 1 delighted to persevere, and repeat-
edly to engage in it. Towards noon visited my people, and spent
the whole time in the way to them in prayer, longing to see the
power of God among them, as there appeared something of it
the last Tuesday; and I found it sweet to rest and hope in God.
Preached to them twice, and at two distinct places: had con-
siderable freedom each time, and so had my Interpreter. Sev-
eral of them followed me from one place to the other : and I
thought there was some divine influence discernible amongst them.
In the evening, was assisted in prayer again. Blessed be the
Lord."

Very much the same things are expressed concerning his in-
ward frame, exercises, and assistances on Saturday, as on the

!•>,., MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

preceding days. He observes, that this was a comfortable week
to him. But then concludes, "Oh that I had no reason to com-
plain of much barrenness ! Oh that there were no vain thoughts
and evil affections lodged within me ! The Lord knows how I
long for that world, where they rest day nor night, saying, Holy,
holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty." On the following Sabbath
he speaks of assistance and freedom in his public work, but as
having less of the sensible presence of God, than frequently in the
week past; but yet says his soul was kept from sinking in discour-
agement. On Monday again he seemed to enjoy very much the
same liberty and fervency, through the day, which he enjoyed
through the greater part of the preceding week. This day he
wrote the following letter to one of his intimate friends, a clergy-
man in New Jersey.

" Forks of Delaware, Dec. 24, 1744.

"Rev. and Dear Brother,

"I have little to say to you about spiritual joys, and those bles-
sed refreshments and divine consolations, with which I have been
much favoured in times past ; but this I can tell you, that if I gain
experience in no other point, yet I am sure I do in this, viz. that
the present world has nothing in it to satisfy an immortal soul ;
and hence, that it is not to be desired for itself, but only because
God may be seen and served in it. I wish I could be more patient
and willing to live in it for this end, than I can usually find myself
to be. It is no virtue, I know, to desire death, only to be freed
from the miseries of life; but I want that divine hope which you
observed, when I saw you last, was the very sinews of vital reli-
gion. Earth can do us no good, and if there be no hope of our
doing good on earth, how can we desire to live in it ? Yet we
ought to desire, or at least to be resigned to tarry in it ; because
it is the will of our all-wise Sovereign. But perhaps these
thoughts will appear melancholy and gloomy, and consequently
will be very undesirable to you ; and therefore I forbear to add.
I wish you may not read them in the same circumstances in
which I write them. I have a little more to do and suffer in a
dark disconsolate world ; and then I hope to be as happy as you
are. — I should ask you to pray for me, were I worth your con-
cern. May the Lord enable us both to "endure hardness as good

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 187

Soldiers of Jesus Christ ;" and may we "obtain mercy of God
to be faithful to the death," in the discharge of our respective

trusts !

"I am your very unworthy brother,

"And humble Servant,

"David Brainerd."

Dec. 25. "Enjoyed very little quiet sleep last night, by rea-
son of bodily weakness, and the closeness of my studies yester-
day ; yet my heart was somewhat lively in prayer and praise. I
was delighted with the divine glory and happiness, and rejoiced
that God was God, and that he was unchangeably possessed of
glory and blessedness. Though God Weld my eyes waking,
yet he helped me to improve my time profitably amidst my
pains and weakness, in continued meditations on Luke xiii. 7.
Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit, &c. My medita-
tions were sweet ; and I wanted to set before sinners their sin and
danger."

He continued in a very low state, as to his bodily health, for
some days, which seems to have been a great hindrance to him in
his religious exercises and pursuits. But yet he expresses some
degree of divine assistance, from day to day, through the remain-
ing part of this week. He preached several times this week to
his Indians; and there appeared still some concern amongst
them for their souls. On Saturday, he rode to the Irish settle-
ment, about fifteen miles from his lodgings, in order to spend tl>e
Sabbath there.

Lord's day, Dec. 30. " Discoursed, both parts of the day, from
Mark viii. 34. Whosoever ivill come after me, Uc. God gave me
very great freedom and clearness, and in the afternoon especially,
considerable warmth and fervency. In the evening also, had very
great clearness while conversing with friends on divine things. I
do not remember ever to have had more clear apprehensions of
religion in my life ; but found a struggle in the evening with spirit-
ual pride."

On Monday, he preached again in the same place with freedom
and ferVency; and rode home to his lodging, and arrived in the
evening, under a considerable degree of bodily illness, which
continued the two next days, so that he complains much of spiritual
emptiness and barrenness on those days.

188 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Jan. 3, 1745. "Being sensible of the great want of divine
influence, and the. outpouring of God's Spirit, I spent t?»is day in
fasting and prayer, to seek so great a mercy for myself, my poor
people in particular, and the. church of God in general. In the
morning, was very lifeless in prayer, and could get scarcely any
sense of God. Near noon, enjoyed some sweet freedom to pray
that the will of God might in every respect become mine; and I
am persuaded, it was so at that time in some good degree. In
the afternoon, I was exceedingly weak, and could not enjoy
much fervency in prayer ; but felt a great degree of dejection ;
which, I believe, was very much owing to my bodily weakness
and disorder.

J n. 4. " Rode up to the Indians, near noon ; spent some time
under great disorder : my soul was sunk down into deep waters,
and I was almost overwhelmed with melancholy.

Jan. 5. "Was able to do something at writing; but was much
disorded with pain in my head. At night, was distressed with a
sense of my spiritual pollution, and ten thousand youthful, yea,
and childish follies, that nobody but myself had any thought about;
all which appeared to me now fresh, and in a lively view, as if
committed yesterday, and made my soul ashamed before God,
and caused me to hate myself.

Lord's day, Jan. 6. "Was still distressed with vapoury disor-
ders. Preached to my poor Indians: but bad little heart or life.
Towards night, my soul was pressed under a sense of my un-
faithfulness. O the joy and peace that arises from a sense of
" having obtained mercy of God to be faithful !" And Oh the
misery and anguish that spring from an apprehension of the con-
trary !"

His dejection continued the two next days; but' not to so great a
degree on Tuesday, when he enjoyed some freedom and fervency
in preaching to the Indians.

Jan. 9. " In the morning, God was pleased to remove that
gloom which has of late oppressed my mind, and gave me free-
dom and sweetness in prayer. I was encouraged, strengthened,
and enabled to plead for grace for myself, and mercy for my poor
Indians ; and was sweetly assisted in my intercessions with God
for others. Blessed be his holy name for ever and ever. Amen,
and Amen. Those things that of late appeared most difficult and
almost impossible, now appeared not only possible, but easy.
My soul was much delighted to continue instant in prayer, at this
blessed season, that I had no desire for my necessary food: even

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 189

dreaded leaving off praying at all, lest I should lose this spiritual-
ity, and this blessed thankfulness to God which I then felt. I
felt now quite willing to live, and undergo all trials that might
remain for me in a world of sorrow : but still longed for heaven,
that I might glorify God in a perfect manner O "'come, Lord
Jesus, come quickly." Spent the day in reading a little ; and in
some diversions, which I was necessitated to take by reason of much
weakness and disorder. In the evening, enjoyed some freedom
and intenseness in prayer."

The three remaining days of the week, he was very low and fee-
ble in body ; but nevertheless continued constantly in the same
comfortable sweet frame of mind, as is expressed on Wednesday.
On the Sabbath, this sweetness in spiritual alacrity began to abate;
but still he enjoyed some degree of comfort, and had assistance
in preaching to the Indians.

Jan. 14. "Spent this day under a great degree of bodily
weakness and disorder; had very little freedom, either in my
studies or devotions ; and in the evening, I was much dejected
and melancholy. It pains and distresses me, that I live so much
of my time for nothing. I long to do much in a little time, and
if it might be the Lord's will to finish my work speedily in this
tiresome world. I am sure, I do not desire to live for any thing
in this world ; and through grace I am not afraid to look the king
*o/ terrors in the face : I know that I shall be afraid if God leaves
me; and therefore I think it always my duty to provide for that
solemn hour. But for a very considerable time past, my soul
has rejoiced to think of death in its nearest approaches, and even
when I have been very weak, and seemed nearest eternity. " Not
unto me, not unto me, but to God be the glory." I feel that
which convinces me, that if God do not enable me to maintain a
holy dependence upon him, death will easily be a terror to me •
but at present, I must say, " I long to depart, and to be with
Christ," which is the best of all. When I am in a sweet resigned
frame of soul, I am willing to tarry a while in a world of sorrow.
I am willing to be from home as long as God sees fit it should
be so ; but when I want the influence of this temper, I am then
apt to be impatient to be gone.— O, when will the day appear,
that I shall be perfect in holiness, and in the enjoyment of
God!" J J

The next day was spent under a great degree of dejection and
melancholy ; which, as he himself was persuaded, was owinp-
partly to bodily weakness, and vapoury disorders.

190 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Jan. 18 and 17. "I spent most of the time in writing on a
sweet divine subject, and enjoyed some freedom and assistance.
Was likewise enabled to pray more frequently and fervently than
usual ; and my soul. I think, rejoiced in God ; especially on the
evening of the last of these days. Praise then seemed comely,
and I delighted to bless the Lord. 0 what reason have I to be
thankful, that God ever helps me to labour and study for him !
he does but receive his own, when I am enabled in any measure to
praise him, labour for him, and live to him. O, how comfortable
and sweet it is, to feel the assistance of divine grace in the per-
formance of the duties which God has enjoined on us! Bless the
Lord, 0 my sow/."'

The same enlargement of heart, and joyful frame of soul,
continued through the next day. But on the day follo7ving it
began to decline ; which decay seems to have continued the
whole of the next week: yet he enjoyed some seasons of special
and sweet assistance.

Lord^s day, Jan. 27. "Had the greatest degree of inward an-
guish, wtiich I almost ever endured. I was perfectly overwhelm-
ed, and so confused, that after I began to discourse to the Indians,
before I could finish a sentence, sometimes I forgot entirely what
I was aiming at: or if, with much difficulty, I had recollected
what I had before designed, still it appeared strange, and like
something I had long forgotten, and had now but an imperfect re-,
membrance of. I know it was a degree of distraction, occasion-
ed by vapoury disorders, melancholy, spiritual desertion, and
some other things that particularly pressed upon me this morning,
with an uncommon weight, the principal of which respected my
Indians. This distressing gloom never went off the whole day ;
but was so far removed, that I was enabled to speak with some
freedom and concern to the Indians, at two of their settlements ;
and I think, there was some appearance of the presence of God
with us, some seriousness and seeming concern among the Indians,
at least a few of them. In the evening, this gloom continued
still, till family prayer,* about nine o'clock, and almost through
this, until I came near the close, when I was praying, as I usual-
ly do, for the illumination and conversion of my poor people ;
and then the cloud was scattered, so that I enjoyed sweetness
and freedom, and conceived hopes, that God designed mercy for
some of them. The same I enjoyed afterwards in secret prayer ;

* Though BrAinerd now dwelt by himself in the forementioned little cottage'
which he had built for his own use ; yet that was near to a family of white people,
with whom he had lived before; and with whom he still attended family prayer.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 191

in which precious duty I had for a considerable time sweetness
and freedom, and, I hope, faith, in praying for myself, my poor
Indians, and dear friends aud acquaintance in New-England, and
elsewhere, and for the dear interests of Zion in general. Bless
the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits?"*

He spent the rest of this week, or at least the most of it, under
dejection and melancholy; which on Friday rose to an extreme
height; he being then, as he himself observes, much exercised
with vapoury disorders. This exceeding gloominess continued
on Saturday, till the evening, when he was again relieved in fam-
ily prayer ; and after it, was refreshed in secret, and felt willing
to live, and endure hardships in the cause of God ; and found his
hopes of the advancement of Christ's kingdom, as also his hopes
to see the power of God among the poor Indians, considerably
raised.

Lord's day, Feb. 3. " In the morning, I was somewhat reliev-
ed of that gloom and confusion, with which my mind has of late,
been greatly exercised ; and was enabled to pray with some com-
posure and comfort. Still I went to my Indians trembling ; for
my soul " remembered the wormwood and the gall " of Friday
last. I was greatly afraid that I should be obliged again to drink
of that cup of trembling, which was inconceivably more bitter
than death, and made me long for the grave more, unspeakably
more, than for hid treasures, yea, inconceivably more than the
men of this world long for such treasures. But God was pleased
to hear my cries, and to afford me great assistance ; so that I felt
peace in my own soul ; and was satisfied, that if not one of the
Indians should be profited by my preaching, but should all be
damned, yet I should be accepted and rewarded as faithful ; for I
am persuaded, God enabled me to be so. Had some good de-
gree of help afterwards, at another place ; and much longed for
the conversion of the poor Indians. Was somewhat refreshed,
and comfortable, towards night and in the evening. Oh, that my

soul might praise the Lord for his goodness ! Enjoyed some

freedom, in the evening, in meditation on Luke xiii. 24. Strive
to enter in at the strait ga/e,&c."

In the three next days, he was the subject of much dejection :
but the three remaining days of the week seem to have been spent
with much composure and comfort. On the next Sabbath, he
preached at Greenwich in New Jersey. In the evening, he rode
eight miles to visit a sick man at the point of death, and found
him speechless and senseless.

192 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Feb. 11. "About break of day, the sick man died. I was af-
fected at the sight; spent the morning with the mourners: and.
after prayer and some discourse with them, returned to Green-
wich, and preached again from Ps. lxxxix. 15. Blessed is the
people that know, &c. The Lord gave me assistance ; I felt a
sweet love to souls, and to the kingdom of Christ; and longed
that poor sinners might know the joyful sound. Several persons
were much affected. After meeting, I was enabled to discourse,
with freedom and concern, to some persons, who applied to me
under spiritual trouble. Left the place, sweetly composed, and
rode home to my house about eight miles distant. Discoursed to
friends, and inculcated divine truths upon some. In the evening
was in the most solemn frame which I almost ever remember to
have experienced. I know not that ever death appeared more
real to me, or that ever I saw myself in the condition of a dead
corpse, laid out, and dressed for a lodging in the silent grave, so
evidently as at this time. And yet I "felt exceedingly tranquil ;
my mind was composed and calm, and death appeared without a
ting. I think, I never felt such an universal mortification to all
created objects as now. O, how great and solemn a thing it ap-
peared to die! O, how it lays the greatest honour in the dust!
And O, how vain and trifling did the riches, honours, and pleas-
ures of the world appear! I could not, I dare not, so much as
think of any of them ; for death, death, solemn (though not fright-
ful) death appeared at the door. O, I could see myself dead,
and laid out, and inclosed in my coffin, and put down into the cold
grave, with the greatest solemnity, but without terror ! I spent
most of the evening in conversing with a dear Christian friend ;

and blessed be God, it was a comfortable evening to us both.

What are friends? What are comforts? What are sorrows?
What are distresses ?— " The time is short. It remains, that they
which weep, be as though they wept not; and they which rejoice,
as though they rejoiced not ; for the fashion of this world passeth

away. Oh come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen."

Blessed be God for the comforts of the past day.

Feb. 12. "Was exceedingly weak; but in a sweet, resigned,
composed frame, most of the day : felt my heart freely go forth
after God in prayer.

Feb. 13. "Was much exercised with vapoury disorders, but
;till enabled to maintain solemnity, and I think, spirituality.

Feb. 14. "Spent the day in writing on a divine subject; en-
joyed health and freedom in my work ; and had a solemn sense of
death, as I have indeed had every day this week, in some meas-
ure. What I felt on Monday last, has been abiding, in some con-
siderable degree, ever since.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 19.;

Feb. \5. " Was engaged in writing again almost the whole day.
In the evening, was much assisted in meditating on that precious
text, John vii. 37. Jesus stood and cried, &c. I had then a sweet
sense of the free grace of the gospel ; my soul was encouraged,
warmed, and quickened. My. desires were drawn out after God
in prayer ; and my soul was watchful, afraid of losing so sweet a
guest as I then entertained. I continued long in prayer and
meditation, intermixing one with the other; and was unwilling
to be diverted by any thing at all from so sweet an exercise. I
longed to proclaim the grace I then meditated upon, to the world
of sinners. — O how quick and powerful is the word of the blessed
God."

The next day, he complains of great conflicts with corruption,
and much discomposure of mind.

Lord's day, Feb. 17. "Preached to the white people, my In-
terpreter being absent, in the wilderness upon the sunny side of a
hill ; had a considerable assembly, consisting of people who lived
at least many of them, not less than thirty miles asunder; some
of them came near twenty miles. I discoursed to them all day,
from John vii. 37. Jesus stood and cried, saying, if any man
thirst, &c. In the afternoon, it pleased God to grant me great
freedom and fervency in my discourse ; and I was enabled to imi-
tate the example of Christ in the text, who stood and cried I

think I was scarce ever enabled to offer the free grace of God to
perishing sinners with more freedom and plainness in my life.
Afterwards, 1 was enabled earnestly to invite the children of God
o come renewediy, and drink of this fountain of the water of
life, from whence they have heretofore derived unspeakable sat-
isfaction. It was a very comfortable time to me. There were
many tears in the assembly ; and I doubt not but that the Spirit of
God was there, convincing poor sinners of their need of Christ.
In the evening, I felt composed and comfortable, though much
tired. I had some sweet sense of the excellency and elorv of
God; my soul rejoiced that he was " God over all blessed' for
ever;" but was too much crowded with company and conversa-
tion, and longed to be more alone with God. Oh that I could
for ever bless God for the mercy of this day, who "answered me
in the joy of my heart."

The remainder of this week seems to have been spent under a
decay of this life and joy, and in distressing conflicts with corrup-
tion ; but not without some seasons of refreshment and comfort

194 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Lord's day, Feb. 24. <; In the morning was much perplexed.
My Interpreter being absent, I knew not how to perform my work
among the Indians. However, I rode to them, got a Dutchman
to interpret for me, though he was but poorly qualified for the
business. Afterwards, I came and preached to a few white peo-
ple, from John vi. 67. Then said Jesus unto the twelve, &c. Here
the Lord seemed to unburden me in some measure, especially
towards the close of my discourse : I felt freedom to open the
love of Christ to his own dear disciples. When the rest of the
world forsakes him, and are forsaken by him, that he calls them
no more, he then turns to his own, and says, Willy e also go away?
I had a sense of the free grace of Christ to his" own people, in
such seasons of general apostacy, and when they themselves in
some measure backslide with the world. O the free grace of
Christ, that he seasonably reminds his people of their danger of
backsliding, and invites them to persevere in their adherence to
himself! I saw that backsliding souls, who seemed to be about
to go away with the world, might return, and welcome, to him
immediately; without any thing to recommend them ; notwith-
standing all their former backslidings. Thus my discourse was
suited to my own soul's case ; for, of late, I have found a great
want of this sense and apprehension of divine grace ; and have
often been greatly distressed in my own soul, because I did not
suitably apprehend this " fountain to purge away sin ;" and have
been too much labouring for spiritual life, peace of conscience,
and progressive holiness, in my own strength. Now God shew-
ed me, in some measure, the arm of ail strength, and the foun-
tain of all grace. — In the evening, I felt solemn^ devout andsweet;
resting on free grace for assistance, acceptance, and peace of
conscience."

Within the space of the next nine days, he had frequent refresh-
ing, invigorating influences of God's Spirit ; attended with com-
plaints of dulness, and with longings after spiritual life and holy
fervency.

March 6. " Spent most of the day in preparing for a journey
to New-England. Spent some time in prayer, with a special re-
ference to my intended journey. Was afraid I should forsake the
Fo ntainof living waters, and attempt to derive satisfaction from
broken cisterns, my dear friends and acquaintance, with whom I
might meet in my journey. I looked to God to keep me from
this vanity, as well as others. Towards night, and in the eve-
ning, was v.^ited by some friends, some of whom, I trust, were
real Christians ; who discovered an affectionate regard to me,

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 195

and seemed grieved that I was about to leave them ; especially as
I did not expect to make any considerable stay among them, if I
should live to return from New-England.* O how kind has God
been to me ! how has he raised up friends in every place where
his providence has called me ! Friends are a great comfort ;
and it is God who gives them ; it is He who makes them
friendly to me. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his
benefits.

The next day, he set out on his journey ; and it was about five
weeks before he returned. — The special design of this journey,
he himself declares afterwards, in his diary for March 21, where,
speaking of his conversing with a certain minister in New-Eng-
land, he says, "Contrived with him how to raise some money
among Christian friends, in order to support a colleague with me
in the wilderness, (I having now spent two years in a very solitary
manner,) that we might be together : as Christ sent out his disci-
ples two and two : and as this was the principal concern I had in
view, in taking this journey, so I took pains in it, and hope God
will succeed it, if for his glory." He first went into various parts
of New Jersey, and visited several ministers there ; then went to
New York ; and from thence into New England, going to various
parts of Connecticut. He then returned to New Jersey, and met
a number of ministers at Woodbridge, " who," he says, "met
there to consult about the affairs of Christ's kingdom, in some
important articles." He seems, for the most part, to have been
free from melancholy in this journey ; and many times to have
had extraordinary assistance in public ministrations, and his
preaching sometimes attended with very hopeful appearances of
a good effect on the auditory. He also had many seasons of spe-
cial comfort and spiritual refreshment, in conversation with min-
isters and other Christian friends, and also in meditation and
prayer when alone.

April 1 3. " Rode home to my own house at the Forks of Del-
aware; was enabled to remember the goodness of the Lord, who
has now preserved me while riding full six hundred miles in this
journey ; has kept me that none of my bones have been broken.
Blessed be the Lord, who has preserved me in this tedious jour-
ney, and returned me in safety to my own house. Verily it is
God who has upheld me, and guarded my goings.

*It seems he had a design, by what afterwards appears, to remove and live
among the Indians on the Sasquehanuah river.

196 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Lord's day, April 14. " Was disordered in body with the fa-
tigues of the late journey; but was enabled however to preach
to a considerable assembly of white people, gathered from all
parts round about, with some freedom, from Ezek. xxxiii. 11.
As I live, saith (he Lord God, ecc. Had much more assistance
than I expected."

This week he went a journey to Philadelphia, in order to engage
the Governor to use his interest with the chief of the Six .Nations,
with whom he maintained a strict friendship, that he would give
him leave to live at Susquchannah, and instruct the Indians who
are within their territories.* In his way to and from thence, he
lodged with Mr. Beaty, a young presbyterian mini?ter. He speaks
of seasons of sweet spiritual refreshment which he enjoyed at his
lodgings.

April SO. "Rode with Mr. Beaty to Abington, to attend Mr.
Treat's administration of the sacrament, according to the method
of the church of Scotland. When we arrived, we found Mr.
Treat preaching; afterwards I preached a sermon from Mat. v. 3.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, &c. God was pleased to give me
great freedom and tenderness, both in prayer and sermon ; the
assembly was sweetly melted, and scores were all in tears. It
was, as I then hoped, and was afterwards abundantly satisfied by
conversing with them, a " word spoken in season to many weary-
souls. " I was extremely tired, and my spirits much exhausted,
so that I could scarcely speak loud; yet I could not help rejoicing
in God.

Lord's day, April 21. "In the morning, was calm and com-
posed, and had some thirstings of soul after God in secret duties
and longing desires of his presence in the sanctuary and at his ta-
ble; that his presence might be in the assembly; and that his

children might be entertained with a feast of fat things Id the

forenoon, Mr. Treat preached. I felt some affection and ten-
derness during the administration of the ordinance. Mr. Beaty
preached to the multitude abroad, who could not half have crowd-
ed into the meeting-house. In the season of the communion, I
had comfortable and sweet apprehensions of the blissful commun-
ion of God's people, when they shall meet at their Father's table
in his kingdom, in a state of perfection. — In the afternoon. I
preached abroad to the whole assembly, from Rev. xiv. 4. These

* The Indians al Susquehanhah are a mixed comoauy of many nation*, speakin°-
various languages, and few of them properly of the Six Nations. " But yet the coun-
try having formerly been conquered by the Six Nations, they claim the had ; and
the Susquehannah Indians are a kind of vassals to them.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 197

are they that follow the Lamb, &c. God was pleased again to
give me very great freedom and clearness, but not so much vvarmth
as oelore. However, there was a most amazing attention in the
whole assembly ; and, as I was informed afterwards, this was a
sweet season to many.

April 22. ' I enjoyed some sweetness in retirement, in the
mfi1ri™S' £*■ ejeve" o'clock. Mr. Beaty preached, with freedom
and life. Then I preached from John vii. 37. In the last day, &c.
and concluded the solemnity. Had some freedom ; but not equal
to what I enjoyed before : yet in the prayer the Lord enabled
me to cry, I hope with a child-like temper, with tenderness and
brokenness of heart.— Came home with Mr. Beaty to his lodgings-
and spent the time, while riding, and afterwards, very agreeably
on divine things. ° '

April 23 "Left Mr. Beaty's, aud returned home to the
forks of Delaware; enjoyed some sweet meditations on the
road ; and was enabled to lift up my heart to God in prayer and
praise." l "

The two next days he speaks of much bodily disorder, but of
^ome degrees of spiritual assistance and freedom.

April 26. "Conversed with a Christian friend with some
warmth ; and felt a spirit of mortification to the world, in a very
great degree. Afterwards, was enabled to pray fervently, and to
rely on God sweetly, for "all things pertaining to life and godli-
ness. Just in the evening, was visited by a dear Christian friend,
with whom I spent an hour or two in conversation, on the very
soul of religion. There are many with whom I can talk about
religion; but alas ! I find few with whom I can talk religion itself;
but, blessed be the Lord there are some that love to feed on the
kernel, rather than the shell."

The next day, he went to the Irish settlement, often before
mentioned, about fifteen miles distant; where he spent the Sab-
bath, and preached with some considerable assistance. On Mon-
day, he returned, in a very weak state, to his own lodgings.

April 30. " Was scarce able to walk about, and was obliged
to betake myself to bed, much of the day ; and passed away the
time in a very solitary manner; being neither able to read, medi-
tate, nor pray, and had none to converse with in that wilderness
U how heavily does time pass away, when I can do nothing to any
good purpose; but seem obliged to trifle away precious time '
But of late. I have seen it my duty to divert myself by all lawful

198 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

mean?, that I may be fit, at least some small part of my time, to
labour for God. And here is the difference between my present
diversions, and those I once pursued, when in a natural state.
Then I made a god of diveisions, delighted in them with a neg-
lect of God, and" drew my highest satisfaction from them. Now I
use them as means to help me in living to God; fixedly delighting
in him, and not in them, drawing my highest satisfation from him.
Then they were my all; now they are only means leading to my
all. And those things that are the greatest diversion, when pur-
sued with this view, do not tend to hinder, but promote my spirit-
uality ; and I see now, more than ever, that they are absolutely
necessary.

May 1. "Was not able to sit up more than half the day : and
yet I had such recruits of strength sometimes, that I was able to
write a little on a divine subject. Was grieved that 1 could no
more live to God. In the evening, had some sweetness and in-
tenseness in secret prayer.

May 2. " In the evening, being a little better in health, I
walked into the woods, and enjoyed a sweet season of meditation
and prayer. My thoughts ran upon Ps. xvii. 15. I shall be sat-
isfied, when I awake, with thy likeness. And it was indeed a pre-
cious text to me. I longed to preach to the whole world ; and it
seemed to me, they must needs all be melted in hearing such
precious divine truths, as I then had a view and relish of. My

thoughts were exceeding clear, and my soul was refreshed.

Blessed be the Lord, that in my late and present weakness, now
for many days together, my mind mind is not gloomy, as at some
other times.

May 3. " Felt a little vigour of body and mind, in the morn-
ing ; and had some freedom, strength, and swee'ness in prayer.
Rode to, and spent some time with my Indians. In the evening,
again retiring into the woods, I enjoyed some sweet meditations on
Isaiah liii. 1 . Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him, &c."

The three next days were spent in much weakness of body :
but yet he enjoyed some assistance in public and private duties ;
and seems to have remained free from melancholy.

May 7. " Spent the day mainly in making preparation for a
journey into the wilderness. Was still weak, and concerned how
1 should perform so difficult a journey. Spent some time in prayer
for the divine blessing, direction, and protection in my intended
journey ; but wanted bodily strength to spend the day in fasting
and prayer.''

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 199

The next day, he set out on his journey to the Susquehannah,
with his interpreter. He endured great hardships and fatigues
in his way thither through a hideous wilderness; where, after
having lodged one night in the open woods, he was overtaken
with a north-easterly storm, in which he was almost ready to per-
ish. Having no manner of shelter, and not heing able to make a
fire in so great a rain, he could have no comfort if he stopt ;
therefore he determined to go forward in hopes of meeting with
some shelter, without which he thought it impossible to live the
night through ; but their horses — happening to eat poison, for the
want of other food, at a place where they lodged the night be-
fore— were so sick, that they could neither ride nor lead them,
but were obliged to drive them and travel on foot ; until, through
the mercy of God, just at dusk, they came to a bark hut, where
they lodged that night. After he came to the Susquehannah, he
travelled about a hundred miles on the river, and visited many
towns and settlements of the Indians ; saw some of seven or
eight tribes, and preached to different nations, by different inter-
preters. He was sometimes much discouraged, and sunk in his
spirits, through the opposition which appeared in the Indians to
Christianity. At other times, he was encouraged by the disposi-
tion which some of these people manifested to hear, and willingness
to be instructed. He here met with some who had formerly been
his hearers atKaunaumeek, and had removed hither; who saw and
heard hiin again with great joy. He spent a fortnight among the
Indians on this river, and passed through considerable labours and
hardships, frequently lodging on the ground, and sometimes in
the open air. At length he felt extremely ill, as he was riding in
the wilderness, being seized with an ague, followed with a burn-
ing fever, and extreme pains in his head and bowels, attended
with a great evacuation of blood ; so that he thought he must
! have perished in the wilderness. But at last coming to an Indian
! trader's hut, he got leave to stay there ; and though without phys-
ic or food proper for him, it pleased God, after about a week's
distress, to relieve him so far that he was able to ride. He re-
turned homewards from Juncauta, an island far down the river;
where was a considerable number of Indians, who appeared more
free from prejudices against Christianity, than most of the other
Indians. He arrived at the Forks of Delaware on Thursday,
May 30, after having rode in this journey about three hundred
and forty miles. He came home in a very weak state, and un-
der dejection of mind; which was a great hindrance to him in
religious exercises. However, on the Sabbath, after having
preached to the Indians, he preached to the white people, with
some success, from Is. liii. 10. Yet it pleased the Lord to bridst

200 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

him, &ic. some being awakened by his preaching. The next
day, he was much exercised for want of spiritual life and fer-
vency.

June 4. " Towards evening, was in distress for God's presence,
and a sense of divine things: withdrew myself to the woods, and
spent near an hour in prayer and meditation; and I think, the
Lord had compassion on me, and gave me some sense of divine
things ; which was indeed refreshing and quickening to me. My
soul enjoyed intenseness and freedom in prayer, so that it grieved
me to leave the place.

June 5. "Felt thirsting desires after God, in the morning.
In the evening, enjoyed a precious season of retirement : was fa-
voured with some clear and sweet meditations upon a sacred
text ; divine things opened with clearness and certainty, and had
a divine stamp upon them. My soul was also enlarged and
refreshed in prayer; I delighted to continue in the duty ; and was
sweetly assisted in praying for my fellow-christians, and my dear
brethren in the ministry. Blessed be the dear Lord for such en-
joyments. O how sweet and precious it is, to have a clear appre-
hension and tender sense of the mystery of godliness, of true ho-
liness, and of likeness to the best of beings ! O what a blessed-
ness it is, to be as much like God, as it is possbile for a creature
to be like his great Creator ! Lord give me more of thy likeness;
"I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with it."

June 6. "Was engaged, a considerable part of the day, in
meditation and study on divine subjects. Enjoyed some special
freedom, clearness, and sweetness in meditation. O how refresh-
ing it is, to be enabled to improve time well !"

The next day, he went a journey of near fifty miles to Ne~
shaminy, to assist at a sacramental occasion, to be attended at
Mr. Beaty's meeting-house; being invited thither by him and his
people.

June 8. " Was exceedingly weak and fatigued with riding
in the heat yesterday : but being desired, I preached in the
afternoon, to a crowded audience, from Is. xl. 1. " Comfort
ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God." God was pleased
to give me great freedom, in opening the sorrows of God's
people, and in setting before them comforting considerations.
And, blessed be the Lord, it was a sweet melting season in the
assembly.

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 20 i

Lord's day, June 9. "Felt some longing desires of ihe pres-
ence of God to be with his people on the solemn occasion of the
day. In the forenoon Mr. Beaty preached ; and there appeared
some warmth in the assembly. Afterwards, I assisted in the ad-
ministration of the Lord's supper: and towards the close of it,
I discoursed to the multitude extempore, with some reference to
that sacred passage, Is. liii. 10. "Yet it pleased the Lord to
bruise him.'' Here God gave me great assistance in addressing
sinners: and the word was attended with amazing power; many
scores, if not hundreds, in that great assembly, consisting of three
or four thousand, were much affected ; so that there was a
"very great mourning, like the mourning of Hadadrimmo<i." —
In the evening, I could hardly look any body in the face, be-
cause of the imperfections I saw in my performances in the day
past.

June 10. "Preached with a good degree of clearness and
some sweet warmth, from Psal. xvii. 15. "I shall be satisfied,
when I awake, with thy likeness." And blessed be God, there
was a great solemnity and attention in the assembly, and sweet
refreshment among God's people; as was evident then, and after-
wards.

June 11. " Spent the day mainly in conversation with dear
Christian friends ; and enjoyed some sweet sense of divine things.
O how desirable it is, to keep company with God's dear children!
These are the " excellent ones of the earth, in whom," I can
truly say, "is all my delight." O what delight will it afford, to
meet them all in a state of perfection ! Lord, prepare me for that
state."

The next day, he left Mr. Beaty's and went to Maiden-
head, in New Jersey ; and spent the next seven days in a
comfortable state of mind, visiting several ministers in those
parts.

June 18. "Set out from New Brunswick with a design to visit
some Indians at a place called Cross wee/csung, in New Jersey,
towards the sea.* In the afternoon, came to a place called

* Brainerd having, when at Boston, written and left with a friend, a briet
relation of facts touching his labours with the Indians, and reception among them,
during the space of time between November 5, 1744, and June 19, 1745, (with a
view to connect his Narrative, addressed to Mr.Pemberton, an J his Journal, in case
they should ever be reprinted) concludes the same with this passage ; " As my body
was very feeble, so my mind was scarce ever so much damped and discouraged about

*02 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Cranberry, and meeting with a serious minister, Mr. Macknight,
I lodged there with him. Had some enlargement and freedom in
prayer with a number of people.

the conversion of the Indians, as at this time. And in this state of body and mind
I made my first visit to the Indians in New Jersey, where God was pleased to
display his power and grace in the remarkable manner that I have represented in
my printed Journal."

CHAPTER VII.

From the commencement of his residence at Crossweeksung, to the close of
the first part of his Journal.

We are now come to that part of Brainerd's life, when lie had
the greatest success in his labours for the good of souls, and in his
particular business as a Missionary to the Indians. Long had he
agonized in prayer, and travailed in birth for their conversion.
Often had he cherished the hope of witnessing that desirable
event ; only to find that hope yield to fear, and end in disappoint-
ment. But after a patient continuance in prayer, in labour, and
in suffering, as it were through a long night, at length he is per-
mitted to behold the dawning of the day. " Weeping continues
for a night; but joy comes in the morning." He went forth
weeping, bearing precious seed ; and now he comes rejoicing,
bringing his sheaves with him. The desired event is brought to
pass at last ; but at a time, in a place, and upon subjects, which
scarcely ever entered into his heart.

An account of this was originally published in his Journal ;
consisting of extracts from his Diary during one year of his resi-
dence at Crossweeksung. Those extracts are now incorporated
with the rest of his Diary for the same period in regular chrono-
logical order.

The following Preface, by the correspondents, introduced the
Journal to the notice of its readers, and deserves an insertion in
the present volume.

" The design of this publication is to give God the glory of his distin-
guishing grace, and gratify the pious curiosity of those who are waiting
and praying for that blessed time, when the Son of God, in a more ex-
tensive sense than has yet been accomplished, shall receive " the
Heathen for his inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for a
possession."

" Whenever any of the guilty race of mankind are awakened to a
just concern for their eternal interest, are humbled at the footstool of
a sovereign God, and are persuaded and enabled to accept the offers of
redeeming love, it must, always be acknowledged a wonderful work
of divine grace, which demands our thankful praises. But doubtless
it is a more affecting evidence of almighty power, a more illustrious dis-
play of sovereign mercy, when those are enlightened with the knowl-
edge of salvation, who have for many ages dwelt in the grossest dark-
ness and Heathenism, and are brought to a cheerful subjection to the

C01 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD.

government of our divine Redeemer, who from generation to genera-
tion had remained the voluntary slaves of " the prince of darkness."

" This is that delightful scene which will present itself to the read-
er's view, while he attentively peruses the following pages. Nothing
certainly can he more agreeable to a benevolent and religious mind,
than to see those that were sunk in the most degenerate state of hu-
man nature, at once, not only renounce those barbarous customs they
had been inured to from their infanc}', but surprisingly transformed into
the character of real and devout christians.

" This mighty change was brought about by the plain and faithful
preaching of the gospel, attended with an uncommon effusion of the di-
vine Spirit, under the ministry of the Reverend David Brainerd, a
Missionary employed by the Honourable Society in Scotland, for propa-
gating Christian Knowledge.

" And surely it will administer abundant matter of praise and thanks-
giving to that honourable body, to find that their generous attempt to
send the. gospel among the Indian nations upon the borders of New-
York, New-Jersey, and Pennsylvania, has met with such surprising
success.

" It would perhaps have been more agreeable to the taste of politer
readers, if the following Journal had been cast into a different method,
and formed into one connected narrative. But the worthy author
amidst his continued labours, had no time to spare for such an under-
takina;. Besides, the pious reader will take a peculiar pleasure to see
this work described in its native simplicity, and the operations of the
Spirit upon the minds of these poor benighted Pagans, laid down just in
the method and order in which they happened. This, it must be con-
fessed, will occasion frequent repetitions ; but these, as they tend to
give a fuller view of this amazing dispensation of divine grace in its
rise and progress, we trust, will be easily forgiven.

" When we see such numbers of the most ignorant and barbarous of
mankind, in the space of a {ew months, "turned from darkness to light,
and from the power of sin and Satan unto God,*1 it gives us encourage-
ment to wait and pray for that blessed time, when our .victorious Re-
deemer shall, in a more signal manner than he has yet done, display
the " banner of his cross," maixh on from " conquering to conquer,
till the kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord
and of his Christ." Yea, we cannot but lift up our heads with joy, and
hope that it may be the dawn of that bright and illustrious day, when
the Sun of Righteousness shall " arise and shine from one end of the
earth to the other ;" when, to use the language of the inspired proph-
ets, " the Gentiles shall come to his light, and kings to the brightness
of his rising ;" in consequence of which, " the wilderness and solitary
places shall be glad, and the desart rejoice and blossom as the rose."

" It is doubtless the duty of all, in their different stations, and ac-
cording to their respective capacities, to use their utmost endeavours
to bring forward this promised, this desired day. There is a great
want of schoolmasters amons; these christianized Indians, to instruct

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 205

their youth in the English language, and the principles of the christian
faith — for, this, as yet, there is no certain provision made ; if any are
inclined to contribute to so good a design, we are persuaded they will
do an acceptable service to the " kingdom of the Redeemer." And we
earnestly desire the most indigent to join, at least, in their wishes and
prayers, that this work may prosper more and more, till the " whole
earth is filled with the glory of the Lord."

" Crossweeksung, June, 1745.

June 19. "I had spent most of my time, for more than a year
past, among the Indians at the Forks of Delaware in Pennsylva-
nia. During that time I made two journeys to the Susquehannah
to treat with the Indians on that river respecting Christianity ;
and, not having had any considerable appearance of special suc-
cess in either of those places, my spirits were depressed, and I
was not a little discouraged. Hearing that there were a number
of Indians at a place called Crossweeksung, in New-Jersey, nearly
eighty miles south-east from the Forks of Delaware, I deter-
mined to make them a visit, and see what might be done towards
christianizing them ; and accordingly arrived among them on
Wednesday, June 19th, 1745.

" I found very few persons at the place which I visited, and
perceived that the Indians in these parts were very much scatter-
ed. There were not more than two or three families in a place;
and these small settlements, six, ten, fifteen, twenty, and thirty
miles, and some more from that place. However, I preached to
those few I found ; who appeared well disposed, serious and at-
tentive, and not inclined to cavil and object, as the Indians had
done elsewhere. When I had concluded my discourse, I inform-
ed them ; there being none but a few women and children; that
I would willingly visit them again the next day. Whereupon
they readily set out and travelled ten or fifteen miles, in order to
give notice to some of their friends at that distance. These wo-
men, like the woman of Samaria, seemed desirous that others
should see the man, who had told them what they had done in
their past lives, and the misery that attended their idolatrous
ways. At night was worn out, and scarcely able to walk, or sit
up. O ! how tiresome is earth ; how dull the body !

June 20. " Visited and preached to the Indians again as I pro-
posed. Numbers were gathered at the invitations of their friends,
who had heard me the day before. These also appeared as at-
tentive, orderly and well disposed as the others : and none made
any objections, as Indians in other places have usually done. To-
wards night preached to the Indians again, and had more hearers

206 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

than before. In the evening enjoyed some peace and serenity of
mind, and comfort and composure in prayer, alone ; and was en-
abled to lift up my head with some degree of joy, under an ap-
prehension that my redemption draws nigh. O ! blessed be God
that there remains a rest to his poor weary people !

June 21. " Rode to Freehold to see Mr. William Tennent,
and spent the day comfortably with him. My sinking spirits were
a little raised and encouraged ; and I felt my soul breathing after
God, in the midst of christian conversation ; and in the evening
was refreshed in secret prayer ; saw myself a poor worthless
creature, without wisdom to direct or strength to help myself. —

0 blessed be God, who lays me under a happy, a blessed neces-
sity of living upon himself!

June 22. " About noon rode to the Indians again, and next
night preached to them. Found my body much strengthened,
and was enabled to speak with abundant plainness and warmth.
Their number, which at first consisted of seven or eight persons,
was now increased to nearly thirty. There was not only a sol-
emn attention among them, but some considerable impression, it
was apparent, was made upon their minds by divine truth. Some
began to feel their misery, and perishing state, and appeared con-
cerned for a deliverance from it. The power of God evidently
attended the word ; so that several persons were brought under
great concern for their souls, and made to shed many tears, and
to wish for Christ to save them. My soul was much refreshed
and quickened in my work : and I could not but spend much time
with them in order to open both their misery and their remedy.
This was indeed a sweet afternoon to me. While riding, before

1 came to the Indians, my spirits were refreshed, and my soul en-
abled to cry to God almost incessantly, for many miles together.
In the evening, also, I found that the consolations of God were
not small. I was then willing to live, and in some respects de-
sirous of it, that I might do something for the dear kingdom of
Christ; and yet death appeared pleasant ; so that I was in some
measure in a strait between two ; having a desire to depart. 1
am often weary of this world, and want to leave it on that ac-
count ; but it is desirable to be drawn, rather than driven out
of it.

Lord's day, June 23. " Preached to the Indians, and spent
the day with them. Their number still increased ; and all with
one consent, seemed to rejoice in my coming among them. Not
a word of opposition was heard from any of them against Chris-
tianity, although in times past they had been as much opposed to
any thing of that nature, as any Indians whatsoever. Some of

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 207

ihem, not many months before, were enraged with my interpreter,
because he attempted to teach them something of Christianity.

June 24. " Preached to the Indians at their desire, and upon
their own motion. To see poor Pagans desirous of hearing the
gospel of Christ, animated me to discourse to them; although I
was now very weakly, and my spirits much exhausted. They at-
tended with the greatest seriousness and diligence; and some con-
cern for their souls' salvation was apparent among them.

June 27. " Visited and preached to the Indians again. Their
number now amounted to about forty persons. Their solemnity
and attention still continued, and a considerable concern for their
souls, became very apparent among numbers of them. My soul
rejoiced to find, that God enabled me to be faithful, and that he
was pleased to awaken these poor Indians by my means. O how
heart-reviving and soul refreshing it is to me, to see the fruit of my
labours!

June 28. "The Indians being now gathered, a considerable
number of them, from their several and distant habitations request-
ed me to preach twice a day to them ; being desirous to hear as
much as they possibly could while I was with them. I cheerfully
1 complied with their request, and could not but admire the good-
ness of God, who I was persuaded, had inclined them thus to in-
quire after the way of salvation.

" In the evening, my soul was revived, and my heart lifted up
to God in prayer for my poor Indians, myself, and friends, and
the dear church of God. O how refreshing, how sweet was this!
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his goodness and ten-
der mercy!

June 29. " Preached twice to the Indians; and could not but
wonder at their seriousness, and the strictness of their attention.
Saw, as I thought, the hand of God very evidently, and in a man-
ner somewhat remarkable, making provision for their subsistence
together, in order to their being instructed in divine things. For
this day, and the day before, with only walking a little way from
the place of our daily meeting, they killed three deer, which were
a seasonable supply for their wants, and without which, they could
not have subsisted together in order to attend the means of grace.
Blessed be God who has inclined their hearts to hear. O how
refreshing it is to me to see them attend, with such uncommon
diligence and affection, with tears in their eyes and concern in
their hearts ! In the evening, could not but lift up my heart to God
in prayer, while riding to my lodging; and, blessed be his name,
had assistance and freedom. O how much better than life is the
presence of God!

208 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Lord's day, June 30. " Preached twice this day also. Ob-
served yet more concern and affection among the poor Heathens
than ever; so that they even constrained me to tarry yet longer
with them, although my constitution was exceedingly worn out,
and my health much impaired by my late fatigues and labours ;
and especially by my late journey to Susquehannah in May last,
in which I lodged on the ground for several weeks together.

July 1. "Preached again twice to a very serious and atten-
tive assembly of Indians ; they having now learned to attend the
worship of God with christian decency in all respects. There
were now between forty and fifty persons of them present, old
and young. I spent a considerable time in discoursing with them
in a more private way; inquiring of them what they remembered
of the great truths which had been taught them from day to day ;
and may justly say, it was amazing to see how they had received
and retained the instructions given them, and what a measure of
knowledge some of them had acquired in a few days.

July 2. "Was obliged to leave these Indians at Crosweeksung,
thinking it my duty as soon as my health would admit, again to visit
those at the Forks of Delaware. When I carne to take leave of them
and to speak particularly to each of them, they all earnestly inquir-
ed when I would come again, and expressed a great desire of being
further instructed. Of their own accord they agreed? that when
I should come again, they would all meet and live together, du-
ring my continuance with them ; and that they would use their
utmost endeavours to gather all the other Indians in these parts
who were yet more remote. When I parted from them, one told
me, with many tears, "She wished God would change her heart;"
another, that " she wanted to find Christ;" and an old man, who
had been one of their chiefs, wept bitterly with concern for his
soul. I then promised them to return as speedily as my health
and business elsewhere would permit, and felt not a little con-
cern at parting, lest the good impressions, then apparent upon
numbers of them, might decline and wear off, when the means
came to cease. Yet I could not but hope, that He, who I trust-
ed, had begun a good work among them, and who, I knew, did
not stand in need of means to carry it on, would maintain and
promote it. At the same time, I must confess, that 1 had often
seen encouraging appearances among the Indians elsewhere, prove
wholly abortive, and it appeared that the favour would be too
great, if God should now, after I had passed through so conside-
rable a series of almost fruitless labours and fatigues, and after my
rising hopes had been so often frustrated among these poor pa-
gans, give me any special success in my labours with them, I

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 209

could not believe, and scarcely dared to hope, that the event would
be so happy; and -carcely ever found myself more suspended
between hope and fear in any affair, or at any time, than in this.

"This encouraging disposition, and readiness to receive instruc-
tion, now apparent among the Indians, seems to have been the
happy effect of the conviction which, one or two of them met
with, someiime since at the Forks of Delaware ; who have since
endeavoured to shew their friends the evil of idolatry. Though
the other Indians seemed but little to regard, and rather to de-
ride, them; yet this, perhaps, has put them into a thinking pos-
ture of mind, or at least, given them some thoughts about Chris-
tianity, and excited in some of them a curiosity to hear ; and so
made way for the present encouraging attention. An apprehen-
sion that this might be the case, here, has given me encourage-
ment that God may, in such a manner, bless the means which I
have used with the Indians in other places ; where, as yet, there
is no appearance of it. If so, may his name have the glory of
it: for I have learnt, by experience, that he only can open the
ear, engage the attention, and incline the hearts of poor benight-
ed, prejudiced pagans, to receive instruction.

" Rode from the Indians to Brunswick, nearly forty miles, and
lodged there. Felt my heart drawn after God in prayer, almost
all the forenoon, especially in riding. In the evening, I could
not help crying to God for those poor Indians ; and, after I went
to bed, my heart continued to go out to God for them till I drop-
ped asleep. O, blessed be God, that I may pray !"

He was now so fatigued by constant preaching to these Indians,
yielding to their importunate desires, that he found it necessary
to give himself some relaxation. He spent, therefore, about a
week in New- Jersey, afer he left the Indians; visiting several
ministers, and performing some necessary business, before he
went to the Forks of Delaware. Though he was weak in body,
yet he seems to have been strong in spirit. On Friday, July 12,
he arrived at his own house in the Forks of Delaware; continu-
ing still free from melancholy; from day to day enjoying freedom,
assistance, and refreshment in the inner man. But on Wednes-
day, the next week, he seems to have had some melancholy
thoughts about his doing so little for God, being so much hinder-
ed by weakness of body.

Forks of Delaware, in Pennsylvania, July 1745.

Lord's day, July 14. " Discoursed to the Indians twice. Seve-
ral of them appeared concerned, and were, I have reason to

210 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

think, in some measure convinced by the Divine Spirit, of their
sin and misery ; so that they wept much the whole time of di-
vine service. Afterwards, discoursed to a number of white peo-
ple then present.

July 18. " Preached to my people, who attended diligently
beyond what had been common among these Indians : and some
of them appeared concerned for their souls. Longed to spend
the little inch of time I have in the world, more for God. Felt a
spirit of seriousness, tenderness, sweetness and devotion; and
wished to spend the whole night in prayer and communion with
God.

July 19. "In the evening, walked abroad for prayer and medi-
tation, and enjoyed composure and freedom in these sweet exer-
cise?, especially in meditation on Rev. iii. 12: "Him that over-
cometh, will 1 make a pillar in the temple of my God." &c.
This was then a delightful theme to me, and it refreshed my soul
to dwell on it. O when shall I go no more out from the service
and enjoyment of the dear Redeemer ! Lord hasten the blessed
day !

Lord's day, July 21. " Preached to the Indians first ; then lo
a number of ivliite people present; and in the afternoon, to the
Indians again. Divine truth seemed to make very considerable
impressions upon several of them, and caused the tears to flow
freely. Afterwards I baptized my interpreter, and his wife, who
were the first whom I baptized among the Indians.

"They arc both persons of some experimental knowledge in
religion ; have both been awakened to a solemn concern for their
souls; have to appearance, been brought to a sense of their mise-
ry, and undoneness in themselves ; have both appeared to be com-
forted with divine consolations ; and it is apparent that both have
passed a great and I cannot but hope, a saving, change. It rnay
perhaps be satisfactory and agreeable, that I should give some
brief relation of this man's exercises and experience, since he
has been with me; especially since he is employed as my Inter-
preter to others. When I first employed him in this business, in
the beginning of the summer of 1744, he was well fitted for his
work, in regard to his acquaintance with the Indian and English
languages, as well as with the manners of both nations ; and in
regard to his desire that the Indians should conform to- the man-
ners and customs of the English, and especially to their manner
of living. But he seemed to have little or no impression of reli-
gion upon his mind, and in that respect was very unfit for his
work; being incapable of understanding and communicating to
others many things of importance, so that I laboured under great

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 211

disadvantages in addressing the Indians, for want of his having an
experimental, as well as more doctrinal, acquaintance vyith divine
truths; and, at times, my spirits sunk, and were much discouraged
under this difficulty ; especially when I observed that divine truths
made little or no 'impressions upon his mind for many weeks to-
o-ether. He indeed behaved soberly after I employed him ; al-
though before, he had been a hard drinker ; and seemed honestly
engaged, as far as he was capable, in the performance of his work.
Especially he appeared very desirous that the Indians should re-
nounce their heathenish notions and practices, and conform to the
customs of the christian world. But still he seemed to have no
concern about his own soul, until he had been with me a conside-
rable time.

" Near the latter end of July, 1744, 1 preached to an assembly
of white people, with more freedom and fervency than I could
possibly address the Indians with, without their having first ob-
tained a greater measure of doctrinal knowledge. At this time
he was present, and was somewhat awakened to a concern for his
soul ; so that the next day he discoursed freely with me about his
spiritual concerns, and gave me an opportunity to use further en-
deavours to fasten the impressions of his perishing state upon his
mind. I could plainly perceive, for some time after this, that he
addressed the Indians with more concern and fervency than he had

formerly done.

" But these impressions seemed quickly to decline ; and he re-
mained in a great measure careless and secure, until sometime
late in the autumn of the year following ; when he fell into a weak
and languishing state of body ; and continued much disordered
for several weeks together. At this season divine truth took hold
of him, and made deep impressions upon his mind. He was
brought under great concern for his soul; and his exercises were
not now transient and unsteady, but constant and abiding, so that
his mind was burdened from day to day ; and it was now his great
inquiry, "What he should do to be saved?" This spiritual
trouble prevailed, until his sleep in a great measure departed from
him, and he had little rest day or night ; but walked about under
great pressure of mind, for he was still able to walk, and appeared
like another man to his neighbours, who could not but observe his
behaviour with wonder. After he had been some time under
this exercise, while he was striving to obtain mercy, he says there
seemed to be an impassable mountain before him. He was press-
ing towards heaven, as he thought : but "his way was hedged up
with thorns, so that he could not stir an inch further." He look-

212 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

ed this way, and that way, but could find no way at all. He thought
if he could but make his way through these thorns and briers, and
climb up the first steep pitch of the mountain, that then there
might be hope for him ; but no way or means could he find to ac-
complish this. Here he laboured for a time, but all in vain. He
saw it was impossible, he says, for him ever to help himself through
this insupportable difficulty. " It signified just nothing at all for
him to struggle and strive any more." Here, he says, he gave
over striving, and felt that it was a gone case with him, as to his
own power, and that all his attempts were, and for ever would
be, vain and fruitless. Yet he was more calm and composed un-
der this view of things, than he had been while striving to help
himself.

1 While he was giving me this account of his exercises, I was
not without fears that what he related was but the working of his
own imagination, and not the effect of any divine illumination of
mind. But, before I had time to discover my fears, he added,
that at this time he felt himself in a miserable and perishing con-
dition : that he saw plainly what he had been doing all his days ;
and that he had never done one good thing, as he expresses it. He
knew he was not guilty of some wicked actions of which he knew
some others guilty. He had not been accustomed to steal, quar-
rel, and murder ; the latter of which vices are common amo'no- the
Indians. He likewise knew that he had done many things^that
were right ; he had been kind to his neighbours, &c. " But still
his cry was, that he had never done one good thing.'* " I knew "
said he, " that I had not been so bad as some others in some
things ; and that I had done many things which folks call good j
but all this did me no good now. I saw that all was bad, and that
I had never done one good thing ;" meaning that he had never
done any thing from a right principle, and with a right view,
though he had done many things that were materially good and
right. " And now I thought," said he, " that I must sink down
to hell ; that there was no hope for me, " because I never could
do any thing that was good :" and if God let me alone ever so
long, and I should try ever so much, still I should do nothing but
what is bad."

• This further account of his exercises satisfied me that it was
not the mere working of his imagination ; since he appeared so
evidently to die to himself, and to be divorced from a dependence
upon his own righteousness, and good deeds, to which mankind in
a fallen state are so much attached ; and upon which they are so,
ready to hope for salvation.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 213

" There was one thing more in his view of things at this time,
which was very remarkable. He not only saw, he says, what a
miserable state he himself was in, but he likewise saw that the
world around him, in general, were in the same perishing circum-
stances, notwithstanding the profession which many of them made
of Christianity, and the hope which they entertained of obtaining
everlasting happiness. This he saw clearly, as if he was now
waked out of sleep, or had a cloud taken from his eyes." He saw
that the life which he had lived was the way to eternal death, that
he was now on the brink of endless misery ; and when he looked
around he saw multitudes of others, who had lived the same life
with himself, persons who had no more goodness than he, and yet
dreamed that they were safe enough, as he had formerly done.
He was fully persuaded, by their conversation and behaviour,
that they had never felt their sin and misery, as he now felt his.

" After he had been for some time in this condition, sensible of
the impossibility of helping himself by any thing which he could
do, or of being delivered by any created arm; so that he had "giv-
en up all for lost," as to his own attempts, and was become more
calm and composed ; then, he says, it was borne in upon his mind,
as if it had been audibly spoken to him, " There is hope, there is
hope." Whereupon his soul seemed to rest, and he in some
measure satisfied, though he had no considerable joy.

" He cannot here remember distinctly any views he had of
Christ, or give any clear account of his soul's acceptance of him,
which makes his experience appear the more doubtful, and ren-
ders it less satisfactory to himself and others than it might be, if
he could remember distinctly the apprehensions and actings of his
mind at this season. — But these exercises of soul were attended
and followed with a very great change in the man ; so that it might
justly be said he was become another man, if not a new man. His
conversation and deportment were much altered ; and even the
careless world could not but wonder what had befallen him, to
make so great a change in his temper, discourse, and behaviour.
Especially there was a surprising alteration in his public perform-
ances. He now addressed the Indians with admirable fervency,
and scarcely knew when to leave off. Sometimes, when I had
concluded my discourse and was returning homeward, he would
tarry behind to repeat and inculcate what had been spoken.

' His change is abiding, and his life, so far as I know, unblem-
ished to this day ; though it is now more than six months since he
experienced this change ; in which space of time he has been as
much exposed to strong drink as possible, in divers places where

214 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

it has been moving as free as water; and yet has never, that I
know of, discovered any hankering desire after it. He seems to
have a very considerable experience of spiritual exercise, and dis-
courses feelingly of the conllicts and consolations of a real chris-
tian. His heart echoes to the soul-humbling doctrines of grace,
and he never appears better pleased than when he hears of the
absolute sovereignty of God, and the salvation of sinners in a way
of mere free grace. He has lately had also more satisfaction res-
pecting his own state; and has been much enlightened and assisted
in his work ; so that he has been a great comfort to me.

" After a strict observation of his serious and savoury conversa-
tion, his christian temper, and unblemished behaviour for such a
length of time, as well as his experience, of which I have given an
account ; I think that 1 have reason to hope that he is " created
anew in Christ Jesus to good works." His name is Moses Finda
Fautaury. He is aboutffty years of age, and is pretty well ac-
quainted with the pagan notions and customs of his countrymen ;
and so is the better able now to expose them. He has, I am per-
suaded, already been, and I trust will yet be, a blessing to the oth-
er Indians.

July 23. " Preached to the Indians, but had few hearers : Those
who of late are constantly at home, seem, of late, to be under
some impressions of a religious nature.

July 26. " Preached to my people, and afterwards baptized
my interpreter's children. In the evening, God was pleased to help
me in prayer, beyond what I have experienced for some time.
Especially, my soul was drawn out for the encouragement of
Christ's kingdom, and for the conversion of my poor people ; and
my soul relied on God for the accomplishment of that great work.
How sweet were the thoughts of death to me at this time ! How 1
longed to be with Christ, to be employed in the glorious work of
angels, and with an angel's vigour and delight! Yet how willing was
I to stay awhile on earth, that I might do something, if the Lord
pleased for his interest in the world. My soul, my very soul, longed
for the ingathering of the poor Heathen; and I cried to God most
willingly and heartily. I could not but cry. This was a sweet
season ; for I had some lively taste of Heaven, and a temper of
mind suited in some measure to the employments and entertain-
ments of it. My soul was grieved to leave the place ; but my
body was weak and worn out, and it was nearly nine o'clock. I
longed that the remaining part of life might be filled up with more
fervency and activity in the things of God. O the invyard peace,
composure, and god-like serenity of such a frame ! Heaven must

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 215

differ from this only in degree, not in kind. Lord! ever give me
this bread of life.

Lord's day, July 28. " Preached again, and found my people,
at least some of them more thoughtful than ever about their souls'
concerns. I was told by some, that their seeing my interpreter
and others baptized made them more concerned than any thing
they had ever seen or heard before. There was indeed a consid-
erable appearance of divine power among them while the ordi-
nance was administered. May that divine influence spread and
increase more abundantly !

" In the evening my soul was melted, and my heartbroken with
a sense of past barrenness and deadness. — O how I then longed to
live to God and bring forth much fruit to his glory !

July 29. Was much exercised with a sense of vileness, with
guilt and shame before God.

" Discoursed to a number of my people, and gave them some
particular advice and direction ; being now about to leave them
for the present, in order to renew my visit to the Indians in New-
Jersey. They were very attentive to my discourse, and earnestly
desirous to know when I designed to return to them again."

On Wednesday July 31, he set out on his return to Crossweek-
sung, and arrived there the next day. In his way thither, he had
longing desires that he might come to the Indians there in the ful-
ness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ, attended with a sense
of his own great weakness, dependence and worthlessness.

Crossweeksung, (New- Jersey) August, 1745,

August 2. " In the evening I retired, and my soul was drawn
out in prayer to God ; especially for my poor people, to whom I
had sent word that they might gather together, that I might preach
to them the next day. I was much enlarged in praying for their
saving conversion; and scarcely ever found my desires of any
thing of this nature so sensibly and clearly, to my own satisfaction,
disinterested and free from selfish views. It seemed to me I had
no care, o>- hardly any desire, to be the instrument of so glorious a
work as I wished and prayed for among the Indians. If the
blessed work might be accomplished to the honour of God, and
the enlargement of the dear Redeemer's kingdom ; this was all
my desire and care ; and for this mercy I hoped but with trem-
bling ; for I felt what Job expresses, chap. 9th, 16th, " If I had
called, and he had answered me, yet would I not believe that he
had hearkened unto my voice." My rising hopes, respecting the

216 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

conversion of the Indians, have been so often dashed, that my
spirit is as it were broken, and my courage wasted, and I hardly
dare hope. I visited the Indians in these parts in June last, and
tarried with them a considerable time, preaching almost daily : at
which season God was pleased to pour upon them a spirit of
awakening and concern for their souls, and surprisingly to engage
their attention to divine truths. I now found them serious, and a
number of them under deep concern for an interest in Christ. —
Their convictions of their sinful and perishing state were, in my
absence from them, much promoted by the labours and endea-
vours of Rev. William Tennent ; to whom I had advised them
to apply for direction ; and whose house they frequented much
while I was gone. I preached to them this day with some view
to Rev. xxii. 17. " And whosoever will, let him take of the water
of life freely;" though I could not pretend to handle the subject
methodically among them. The Lord, I am persuaded, enabled
me, in a manner somewhat uncommon, to set before them the
Lord Jesus Christ as a kind and compassionate Saviour, inviting
distressed and perishing sinners to accept everlasting mercy. A
surprising concern soon became apparent among them. There
were about twenty adult persons together ; many of the Indians at
remote places not having as yet had time to come since my return
hither; and not above two that I could see with dry eyes.

" Some were much concerned, and discovered vehement long-
ings of soul after Christ, to save them from the misery they felt
and feared.

Lord's day, Aug. 4. " Being invited by a neighbouring minis-
ter to assist in the administration of the Lord's supper, I complied
with his request, and took the Indians along with me ; not only
those who were together the day before, bu< many more who were
coming to hear me ; so that there were nearly fifty in all, old and
young. They attended the several discourses of the day ; and
some of them, who could understand English, were much affect-
ed ; and all seemed to have their concern in some measure
raised.

" Now a change in their manners began to appear very visible.
In the evening, when they came to sup together, they would not
take a morsel until they had sent to me to come and supplicate a
blessing on their food ; at which time sundry of them wept ; es-
pecially when I reminded them how they had in times past eat
their feasts in honour to devils, and neglected to thank God for
them.

August 3. "After a sermon had been preached by another
minister, I preached, and concluded the public work of the solem-

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 217

ufty from John 7th, 37th. In the last day, &tc; and in my dis-
course addressed the Indians in particular, who sat in a part of the
house by themselves; at which time one or two of them were
struck with deep concern, as they afterwards told me, who had
been little affected before ; and others had their concern increased
to a considerable degree. In the evening, the greater part of them
being at the house where I lodged, I discoursed to them ; and
found them universally engaged about their souls' concerns; in-
quiring "what they should do to be saved." All their conversa-
tion among themselves turned upon religious matters, in which
they were much assisted by my Interpreter, who was with them
day and night.

"This day there was one woman, who had been much conce r
ed for her soul ever since she first heard me preach, in June last,
who obtained comfort, I trust, solid and well grounded. She
seemed to be filled with love to Christ. At the same time she
behaved humbly and tenderly, and appeared afraid of nothing so
much as of offending and grieving him whom her soul loved.

Aug. 6, " In the morning I discoursed to the Indians at the
house where we lodged. Many of them were much affected,
and appeared surprisingly tender; so that a few words about the
concerns of their souls would oause the tears to flow freely, and
produce many sobs and groans. — In the afternoon, they being re-
turned to the place where I had usually preached among them, I
again discoursed to them there. There were about fifty-Jive per-
sons in all; about forty that were capable of attending Divine
service with understanding. I insisted on 1 John, 4th, 10th.
Herein is love, &ic. They seemed eager of hearing; but there
appeared nothing very remarkable, except their attention, till near
the close of my discourse; and then Divine truths were attended
with a surprising influence, and produced a great concern among
them. There were scarcely three in forty who could refrain from
tears and bitter cries. They all as one seemed in an agony of
soul to obtain an interest in Christ ; and the more I discoursed of
the love and compassion of God in sending his Son to suffer for the
sins of men; and the more I invited them to come and partake of
his love ; the more their distress was aggravated, because they felt
themselves unable to come. It was surprising to see how their
hearts seemed to be pierced with the tender and melting invita-
tions of the gospel, when there was not a word of terror spoken
to them.

" There was this day two persons who obtained relief and com-
fort ; which, when I came to discourse with them particularly,
appeared solid, rational and scriptural. After I had inquired into

213 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

the grounds of their comfort, and said many things which I thought
proper to them ; I asked them what they wanted that God should
do farther for them? They replied, " they wanted Christ should
wipe their hearts quite clean," &:c. So surprising were now the
doings of the Lord, that I can say no less of this day, and I need
say no more of it, than that the arm of the Lord was powerfully
and marvellously revealed in it.

- Aug. 7. "Preached to the Indians from Is. 53, 3 — 10. There
was a remarkable influence attending the word, and great concern
in the assembly ; but scarcely equal to what appeared the day be-
fore ; that is, not quite so universal. However, most were much
affected, and many in great distress for their souls; and some few
could neither go nor stand, but lay flat on the ground as if pierced
at heart, crying incessantly for mercy. Several were newly
awakened; and it was remarkable that, as fast as they came from
remote places round about, the Spirit of God seemed to seize
them with concern for their souls. After public service was con-
cluded, I found two persons more who had newly met with com-
fort, of whom I had good hopes; and a third, of whom 1 could not
but entertain some hopes, whose case did not appear so clear as
the others ; so that there were now six in all, who had got some
relief from their spiritual distresses ; and five, whose experience
appeared very clear and satisfactory. It is worthy of remark,
that those who obtained comfort first, were in general deeply af-
fected with concern for their souls, when I preached to them in
June last.

Aug. 3. "In the afternoon I preached to the Indians, theii
number was now about sixty-jive persons ; men, women and chil-
dren. I discoursed upon Luke 14, 16 — 23, and was favored with
uncommon freedom in my discourse. There was much visible
concern among them, while I was discoursing publicly; but after-
wards, when 1 spoke to one and another more particularly, whom
I perceived under much concern, the power of God seemed to
descend upon the assembly "like a mighty rushing wind, ^ and
with an astonishing energy bore down all before it. I stood amaz-
ed at the influence, which seized the audience almost universally:
and could compare it to nothing more aptly, than the irresistible
force of a mighty torrent or swelling deluge, that with its insup-
portable weight and pressure bears down and sweeps before it
whatever comes in its way. Almost all persons of all ages were
bowed down with concern together, and scarcely one was able to
withstand the shock of this surprising operation. Old men and
women, who had been drunken wretches for many years, and
some little children, not more than six or seven years of age, ap-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 219

peared in distress for their souls, as well as persons of middle age.
It was apparent that these children, some of them at least, were
not merely frightened with seeing the general concern; but were
made sensible of their danger, the badness of their hearts, and
their misery without Christ, as some of them expressed it. The
most stubborn hearts were now obliged to bow. A principal man
among the Indians, who before was most secure and self-righteous,
and thought his state good, because he knew more than the gener-
ality of the Indians had formerly done; and who with a great
degree of confidence the day before told me " he had been a
Christian more than ten years ;" was now brought under solemn
concern for his soul, and' wept bitterly. Another man advanced
in years, who had been a murderer, a paioaw or conjurer, and a
notorious drunkard, was likewise brought now to cry for mercy
with many tears, and to complain much that he could be no more
concerned when he saw his danger so very great.

" They were almost universally praying and crying for mercy
in every part of the house, and many out of doors; and numbers
could neither go nor stand. Their concern was so great, each
one for himself, thatnone seemed to take any notice of those about
them, but each prayed freely for himself. I am led to think they
were, to their own apprehensions, as much retired as if they had
been individually by themselves, in the thickest desart ; or I be-
lieve rather that they thought nothing about any thing but them-
selves, and their own state, and so were every one praying apart,
although all together. It seemed to me that there was now an
exact fulfilment of that prophecy, Zech. 12th, 10, 11, 12; for
there was now "a great mourning, like the mourning of Hadad-
rimmon;" — and each seemed to "mourn apart." Methought
this had a near resemblance to the day of God's power, mentioned
Josh. 10th, 14.; fori must say I never saw any day like it, in all
respects : it was a day wherein I am persuaded the Lord did
much to destroy the kingdom of darkness among this people.

" This concern, in general, was most rational and just. Those
who had been awakened any considerable time, complained more
especially of the badness of their hearts; and those who were
newly awakened, of the badness of their lives and actions; and
all were afraid of the anger of God, and of everlasting misery as
the desert of their sins. Some of the white people, who came
out of curiosity to hear what " this babbler would say" to the poor
ignorant Indians, were much awakened ; and some appeared to be
wounded with a view of their perishing state. Those who had
lately obtained relief, were filled with comfort at this season.
They appeared calm and composed, and seemed to rejoice in

220 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD.

Christ Jesus. Some of them took their distressed friends by the
hand, telling them of the goodness of Christ, and the comfort that
is to be enjoyed in him ; and thence invited them to come and
give up their hearts to him. I could observe some of them, in
the most honest and unaffected manner, without any design of be-
ing taken notice of, lilting up their eyes to heaven, as if .crying for
mercy, while they saw the distress of the poor souls around them.
There was one remarkable instance of awakening this day which
I cannot fail to notice here. A young Indian woman, who, I be-
lieve, never knew before that she had a soul, nor ever thought of
any such thing, hearing that there was something strange among
the Indians, came, it seems, to see what was the matter. In her
way to the Indians she called at my lodgings ; and when I told
her that 1 designed presently to preach to the Indians, laughed, and
seemed to mock; but went however to them. I had not proceeded
far in my public discourse before she felt effectually that she had
a soul ; and, before I had concluded my discourse, was so con-
vinced of her sin and misery, and so distressed with concern for her
soul's salvation, that she seemed like one pierced through with a
dart, and cried out incessantly. She could neither go nor stand,
nor sit on her seat without being held up. After public service
was over, she lay flat on the ground, praying earnestly, and would
take no notice of, nor give any answer to, any who spoke to her,
I barkened to hear what she said, and perceived the burden of
her prayer to be, " Guttummaukalummch wechaumeh kmeleh JVo-
Z«A," i. e. " Have mercy on me, anil help me to give you my heart."
Thus she continued praying incessantly for many hours together.
This was indeed a surprising day of God's power, and seemed
enough to convice an Atheist of the truth, importance, and power
of God's word.

Aug. 9. "Spent almost the whole day with the Indians; the
former part of it in discoursing to many of them privately, and
especially to some who had lately received comfort, and endeav-
ouring to inquire into the grounds of it, as well as to give them
some proper instructions, cautions and directions.

" In the afternoon discoursed to them publicly. There were
now present about seventy persons, old and young. I opened and
applied the parable of the sower, Matt. 13. Was unabled to dis-
course with much plainness, and found afterwards that this dis-
course was very instructive to them. There were many tears
among them, while I was discoursing publicly, but no considerable
cry : yet some were much affected with a few words spoken from
Matt. 1 1, 28. Come unto me all ye that labour, &c. with which I
concluded my discourse. But, while I was discoursing near night

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 221

to two or three of the awakened persons, a Divine influence seem-
ed to attend what was spoken to them in a powerful manner ;
which caused the persons to cry out in anguish of soul, although I
spoke not a word of terror; but on the contrary, set before them
the fulness and all-sufficiency of Christ's merits, and his willing-
ness to save all that come to him, and thereupon pressed them to
come without delay. The cry of these was soon heard by others,
who, though scattered before, immediately gathered round. I
then proceeded in the same strain of gospel-invitation, till they
were all melted into tears and cries, except two or three ; and
seemed in the greatest distress to find and secure an interest in the
great Redeemer. Some, who had iittle more than a rvffle made
in their passions the day before, seemed now to be deeply affected
and wounded at heart ; and the concern in general appeared near-
ly as prevalent as it was the day before. There was indeed a
very great mourning among them, and yet every one seemed to
mourn apart. For so great was their concern, that almost every
one was praying and crying for himself, as if none had been near.
" Gutturnmauhalummeh; guttummauhalummeh " i. e. " Have mer-
cy upon me; have mercy upon me; was the common cry. It was
very aff cting to see the poor Indians, who the other day were
hollowing and yelling in their idolatrous feasts and drunken frolics,
now crying to God with such importunity for an interest in his
dear Son ! — Found two or three persons who, I had reason to
hope, had taken comfort upon good grounds since the evening be-
fore; and these, with others who had obtained comfort, were to-
gether, and seemed to rejoice much that God was carrying on his
work with such power upon others.

Aug. 10. "Rode to the Indians, and began to discourse more
privately to those who had obtained comfort and satisfaction ; en-
deavouring to instruct, direct, caution, and comfort them. But
others, being eager of hearing every word which related to spirit-
ual concerns, soon came together one after another ; and, when I
had discoursed to the young converts more than half an hour,
the) seemed much melted with divine things, and earnestly desir-
ous to be with Christ. I told them of the godly soul's perfect
purity, and full enjoyment of Christ, immediately upon its sepa-
ration from the body ; and that it would be inconceivably more
happy than they had ever been for any short space of time, when
Christ seemed near to them in prayer or other duties. That I
might make way for speaking of the resurrection of the body,
and thence of the complete blessedness of the man ; I said, " But
perhaps some of you will say, I love my body as well as my soul,
and I cannot bear to think that my body shall lie dead, if my soul

222 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

is happy." To which they all cheerfully replied, " Aluttoh,
Muttoh;" before I had opportunity to prosecute what I designed
respecting the resurrection; i. e. "No, No." They did not re-
gard their bodies, if their souls might be with Christ. — Then they
appeared willing to be absent from the body, that they might be
present with the Lord.

" When I had spent some time with them, I turned to the other
Indians, and spoke to them from Luke 19th, 10. For the son of
man is come to seek, &c. 1 had not discoursed long, before their
concern rose to a great degree; and the house was filled with cries
and groans. When I insisted on the compassion and care of the
Lord Jesus Christ for those that were lost, who thought themselves
undone, and could find no way of escape ; this melted them down
the more, and aggravated their distress, that they could not find
and come to so kind a Saviour.

" Sundry persons, who before had been slightly awakened,
were now deeply wounded with a sense of their sin and misery.
One man in particular, who was never before awakened, was now
made to feel that •' the word of the L^rd was quick and powerful,
and sharper than any two edged sword." He seemed to be pierc-
ed at heart with distress ; and his concern appeared most rational
ana scriptural, for he said that " all the wickedness of his past
life was brought fresh to his remembrance, and that he saw all
the v'le actions, he had done formerly, as if done but yesterday."

" Found one who had newly received comfort, after pressing
distress from day today. Could not but rejoice, and admire the
Divine goodness in what appeared this day. There seems to be
some good done by every discourse ; some newly awakened eve-
ry day, and some comforted. It was refreshing to observe the
conduct of those who obtained comfort ; while others were dis-
tressed with fear and concern; that is lifting up their hearts to God
for them.

Lord's day, Aug. 11. " Discoursed in the forenoon from the
parable of the prodigal son, Luke 15th. Observed no such re-
markable effect of the word upon the assembly as in days past.
There were numbers of careless spectators of the white people,
some quakers and others. In the afternoon, I discoursed upon a
part of St. Peter's sermon, Acts 2nd ; and at the close of my
discourse to the Indians, made an address to the white people ;
and divine truths seemed then to be attended with power, both to
English and Indians. Several of the white heathen were awaken-
ed, and could not longer be idle spectators ; but found they had
souls to save or lose as well as the Indians; and a great concern
spread through the whole assembly. So that this also appeared to

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 223

be a day of God's power, especially towards the conclusion of it,
although the influence attending the word seemed scarcely so
powerful now as in days past.

" The number of Indians, old and young, was now upwards ot
seventy; and one or two ware newly awakened this day, who nev-
er had appeared to be moved with concern for their souls before.
Those who had obtained relief and comfort, and had given hope-
ful evidences of having passed a saving change, appeared humble
and devout, and behaved in an agreeable and Christian-like man-
ner. I was refreshed to see the tenderness of conscience mani-
fest in some of them ; one instance of which I cannot but notice.
Perceiving one of them very sorrowful in the morning, I inquired
into the cause of her sorrow, and found the difficulty was, that
she had been angry with her child the evening before, and was
now exercised with fears lest her anger had been inordinate and
sinful ; which so grieved her, that she waked and began to sob
before day light, and continued weeping for several hours to-
gether.

Aug. 14. "Spent the day with the Indians. There was one
of them, who had some time since put away his wife, as is com-
mon amongst them, and taken another woman; and, being now
brought under some serious impressions, was much concerned
about that affair in particular, and seemed fully convinced of the
wickedness of the practice, and earnestly desired to know what
God would have him to do in his present circumstances. When
the Law of God respecting marriage had been opened to them,
and the cause of his leaving his wife inquired into; and when it
appeared that she had given him no just occasion, by unchastity.
to desert her, and that she was willing to forgive his past miscon-
duct and to live peaceably with him for the future, and that she
moreover insisted on it as her right to live with him ; he was then
told that it was his indispensable duty to renounce the woman
whom he had last taken, and receive the other, who was his prop-
er wife, and live peaceably with her during life. With this he
readily and cheerfully complied ; and thereupon publicly renoun-
ced the woman he had last taken, and publicly promised to live
with and be kind to his wife during life ; she also promising the
same to him. Here appeared a clear demonstration of the power
of God's word upon their hearts. I suppose a few weeks before,
the whole world could not have persuaded this man to a compli-
ance with Christian rules in this sffair.

"I was not without fears that this proceeding might be like put-
ting " new wine into old bottles ;" and that some might he preju-
diced against Christianity, when they saw the demands made by

124 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

it. But the man being much concerned about the matter, the deter-
mination of it could be deferred no longer ; and it seemed to have
a good rather than an ill effect among the Indians ; who generally
owned that the laws of Christ were good and right, respecting the
affairs of marriage. — In the afternoon I preached to them from
the apostle's discourse to Cornelius, Acts 10th, 34th, &tc. There
appeared some affectionate concern among them, though not
equal to what appeared in several of the former days. They still
attended and heard as for their lives, and the Lord's work
seemed still to be promoted and propagated among them.

Aug. 15. "Preached from Luke 4th, 16—21. "And he
came to Nazareth,'''1 &c. The word was attended with power upon
the hearts of the hearers. There was much concern, many tears,
and affecting cries among them ; and some in a peculiar manner
were deeply wounded and distressed for their souls. There were
some newly awakened who came but this week, and convictions
seemed to be promoted in others. Those who had received
comfort, were likewise refreshed and strengthened; and the work
of grace appeared to advance in all respects. The passions of
the congregation in general were not so much moved, as in some
days past; but their hearts seemed as solemnly and deeply affec-
ted with divine truths as ever, at least in many instances, although
the concern did not seem so universal, and to reach every in-
dividual in such a manner as it appeared to do some days be-
fore.

Aug. 16. "Spent a considerable time in conversing with
sundry of the Indians. Found one who had got relief and com-
fort after pressing concern ; and could not but hope, when I came
to discourse particularly with her, that her comfort was of the
right kind. — In the afternoon I preached to them from John 6th,
26 — 34. Toward the close of my discourse, divine truths were
attended with considerable power upon the audience; and more
especially after public service was over, when I particularly ad-
dressed sundry distressed persons.

"There was a great concern for their souls spread pretty gener-
ally among them ; but especially there were two persons newly
awakened to a sense of their sin and misery; one of whom was
lately come, and the other had all along been very attentive and
desirous of being awakened, but could never before have any live-
ly view of her perishing state. Now her concern and spiritual
distress was such, that 1 thought I had never seen any more pres-
sing. Sundry old men were also in distress for their souls; so
that they could not refrain from weeping and crying aloud ; and
their bitter groans were the most convincing as well as affecting

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 225

evidence of the reality and depth of their inward anguish. God
is powerfully at work among them. True and genuine convictions
of sin are daily promoted in many instances; and some are newly
awakened from time to time; although some few, who felt a com-
motion in their passions in days past, seem now to discover that
their hearts were never duly affected. I never saw the work of
God appear so independent of means as at this time. I discours-
ed to the people, and spake what I suppose had a proper tenden-
cy to promote convictions; but God's manner of working upon
them seemed so entirely supernatural, and above means, that I
could scarcely believe he used me as an instrument, or what 1
spake as means of carrying on his work. For it appeared, as I
thought, to have no connexion with or dependence on means in
any respect. Though I could not but continue to use the means,
which I thought proper for the promotion of the work, yet God
seemed, as I apprehended, to work entirely without them I
seemed to do nothing, and indeed to have nothing to do, but to
"stand still, and see the salvation of God;" and found myself
obliged and delighted to say, " Not unto us," not unto instruments
and means, "but to thy name be glory." God appeared to work
entirely alone, and I saw no room to attribute any part of this work
to any created arm.

Aug. 17. "Spent much time in private conferences with the
Indians. Found one who had newly obtained relief and comfort,
after a long season of spiritual trouble and distress ;— he having
been one of my hearers at the Forks of Delaware for more than
a year, and now having followed me here under deep concern for
his soul ; — and had abundant reason to hope that his comfort was
jvell grounded, and truly divine. Af'erwards discoursed publicly
from Acts 8th, 20 — 39; and took occasion to treat concerning
baptism, in order to their being instructed and prepared to partake
of that ordinance. They were yet hungry and thirsty for the
word of God, and appeared unwearied in their attendance
upon it.

Lord's day, Aug. 18. "Preached in the forenoon to an assem-
bly of white people, made up of Presbyterians, Baptists, Qua-
kers, &C. Afterwards preached to the Indians, from John ;:th,
35 — 40, He that eateth my flesh, &c. There was considerable
concern visible among them, though not equal to what has fre-
quently appeared of late.

Aug. 19. "Preached from Isaiah 55th, 1st. Ho every one
that thirsteth. Divine truths were attended with power upon
those who had received comfort, and others also. The former
sweetly melted and refreshed with divine invitations; the latter

226 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

much concerned for their souls, that they might obtain an interest
in these glorious gospel provisions which were set before them.
There were numbers of poor impotent souls that waited at the
pool for healing ; and the angel seemed, as at other times of late,
to trouble the waters, so that there was yet a most desirable and
comfortable prospect of the spiritual recovery of diseased perish-
ing sinners. Near noon, I rode to Freehold, and preached to a
considerable assembly, from Malt. 5th 3rd. Blessed are the poor
in spirit, &ic. It pleased God to leave me to be very dry and
barren ; so that I do not remember to have been so straightened
for a whole twelve month past. God is just ; and he has made me
to acquiesce in his will in this respect. It is contrary to flesh and
blood to be cut off from all freedom in a large auditory, where
their expectations are much raised; but so it was with me • and
God helped me to say amen to it. Good is the will of the Lord.
In the evening I felt quiet and composed, and had freedom and
comfort in secret prayer.

dug. 20. "Was composed and comfortable, still in a resigned
frame. Travelled from Mr. Tennent's, in Freehold, to Elizabeth
Town. Was refreshed to see friends and relate to them what God
had done and was still doing among my poor people.

Aug. 21. " Spent the forenoon in conversation with Mr. Dick-
inson, contriving something for the settlement of the Indians to-
gether in a body, that they might be under better advantages for
instruction. In the afternoon spent some time agreeably with oth-
er friends ; wrote to my brother at college; but was grieved that
time slid away, while I did so little for God.

Aug. 23. " In the morning was very weak, but favored with
some freedom and sweetness in prayer, was comfortable and
composed in mind. Afternoon rode to Crossweeksung to mv
poor people.

"Spent some time with the Indians in private discourse; and.
afterwards, preached to them from John 6th, 44—50. No man can
come to me, except, &c. There was, as has been usual, a great
attention and some affection among them. Several appeared
deeply concerned for their souls, and could not but express their
inward anguish by tears and cries. But the amazing divine influ-
ence, which has been so powerfully among them in general,
seems at present in some degree abated ; at least, in regard to its
universality; though many who have obtained no special comfort
still retain deep impressions of divine things.

Ayg 24. "Spent the forenoon in discoursing to some of the
Indians in order to their receiving the ordinance of baptism.
When I had opened the nature of the ordinance, the obligations

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 227

attending it, the duty of devoting ourselves to God in it, and the
privilege of being in covenant with him; numbers of them seemed
to be rilled with love to God, delighted with the thoughts of giving
themselves up to him in that solemn and public manner, and mel-
ted and refreshed with the hopes of enjoying the blessed Re-
deemer. Afterwards, I discoursed publicly from 1 Thess. 4th,
13 — 17. But I ivould not have you be ignorant, &c. There was
a solemn attention, and some visible concern and affection in the
time of public service ; which was afterwards increased by some
further exhortations given to them to come to Christ, and give up
their hearts to him, that they might be fitted to " ascend up and
meet him in the air," when he shall " descend with a shout, and
the voice of the archangel."

" There were several Indians newly come, who thought their
state good, and themselves happy, because they had sometimes
lived with the white people under gospel light, had learned to read,
were civil, &c, although they appeared utter strangers to their
hearts, and altogether unacquainted with the power of religion,
as well as with the doctrines of grace. With these I discoursed
particularly after public worship ; and was surprised to see then-
self-righteous dispositions, their strong attachment to the cove-
nant of works for salvation, and the high value they put upon
their supposed attainments. Yet after much discourse, one ap-
peared in a measure convinced that " by the deeds of the law no
flesh living can be justified ;" and wept bitterly inquiring what he
must do to be saved.

This was very comfortable to others, who had gained some ex-
perimental knowledge of their own hearts ; for, before, they were
grieved with the conversation and conduct of these new comers,
who boasted of their knowledge, and thought well of themselves,
but evidently discovered to those who had any experience of di-
vine truths that they knew nothing of their own hearts.

Lord's day, Aug. 25. "Preached in the forenoon from Luke
xv. 37. A number of white people being present, I made an
address to them at the close of my discourse to the Indians; but
could not so much as keep them orderly ; for scores of them kept
walking and gazing about, and behaved more indecently than any
Indians I have ever addressed. A view of their abusive conduct
so sunk my spirits, that I could scarcely go on with my work.

" In the afternoon discoursed from Rev. 3d, 20 ; at which time
the Indians behaved seriously, though many others were vain.
Afterwards baptized twenty-five persons of the Indians ; fifteen
adults and ten children. Most of the adults, I have comfortable
reason to hope, are renewed persons ; and there was not one of

228 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

them but what I entertained some hopes of in that respect;
though the case of two or three of them appeared more doubt-
ful.

" After the crowd of spectators was gone, I called the baptized
persons together, and discoursed to them in particular ; at the
same time inviting others to attend. I reminded them of the sol-
emn obligations they were now under to live to God ; warned them
of the evil and dreadful consequences of careless living, especially
after their public profession of Christianity ; gave them directions
for future conduct; and encouraged them to watchfulness and de-
votion, by setting before them the comfort and happy conclusion
of a religious life.

"This was a desirable and sweet season indeed ! Their hearts
were engaged and cheerful in duty ; and they rejoiced that they
had, in a public and solemn manner, dedicated themselves to God.
Love seemed to reign among them ! They took each other by
the hand with tenderness and affection, as if their hearts were
knit together, while I was discoursing to them ; and all their de-
portment towards each other was such, that a serious spectator
might justly be excited to cry out with admiration, "Behold how
they love one another." Numbers of the other Indians, on see-
ing and hearing these things, were much affected, and wept bit-
terly ; longing to be partakers of the same joy and comfort, which
these discovered by their very countenances as well as con-
duct. I rode to my lodgings in the evening, blessing the Lord
for his gracious visitation of the Indians, and the soul-refreshing
things I had seen the day past among them ; and praying that
God would still carry on his divine work among them.

Aug. 26. "Preached to my people form John 6th, 51 — 55.
After 1 had discoursed some time, I addressed them in particular,
who entertained hopes that they were passed from death unto life.
Opened to them the persevering nature of those consolations
which Christ gives his people, and which I trusted he had bestow-
ed upon some in that assembly; shewed them that such have
already the beginnings of eternal life, and that their heaven shall
speedily be completed.

"I no sooner begun to discourse in this strain, than the dear
Christians in the congregation began to be melted with affection
to, and desire of, the enjoyment of Christ, and of a state of per-
fect purity. They wept affectionately, yet joyfully ; and their
tears and sobs discovered brokenness of heart, and yet were at-
tended with real comfort and sweetness. It was a tender, affec-
tionate, humble and delightful meeting, and appeared to be the
genuine effect of a spirit of adoption, and very far from that spirit

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 229

of bondage under which they not long since laboured. The in-
fluence seemed to spread from these through the whole assembly;
and there quickly appeared a wonderful concern among them.
Many, who had not yet found Christ as an all-sufficient Saviour,
were surprisingly engaged in seeking after him. It was indeed
a lovely and very interesting assembly. Their number was now
about ninety-jive persons, old and young, and almost all affected
with joy in Christ Jesus, or with the utmost concern to obtain an
interest in him.

" Being now convinced that it was my duty to take a journey
far back to the Indians on the Susquehannah, it being now a
proper season of the year to find them generally at home ; after
having spent some hours in public and private discourse with my
people, I told them that I must now leave them for the present,
and go to their brethren far remote, and preach to them ; that I
wanted the spirit of God should go with me, without whom no-
thing could be done to any good purpose among the Indians — as
they themselves had opportunity to see and observe by the bar-
renness of our meetings at sometimes, when there was much
pains taken to affect and awaken sinners, and yet to little or no
purpose, and asked them if they could not be willing to spend
the remainder of the day in prayer for me, that God would go
with me, and succeed my endeavours for the conversion of these
poor souls. They cheerfully complied with the motion, and soon
after I left them, the sun being about an hour and an half high at
night, they began and continued praying till break of day, or very
near ; never mistrusting as they tell me, till they went out and
viewed the stars, and saw the morning star a considerable height,
that it was later than bed time. Thus eager and unwearied were
they in their devotions! A remarkable night it was; attended, as
my interpreter tells me, with a powerful influence upon those
who were yet under concern, as well as those who had received
comfort. There were, I trust, this day, two distressed souls
brought to the enjoyment of solid comfort in him whom the wea-
ry find rest. It was likewise remarkable, that this day an old In-
dian, who had all his days been an idolater, was brought to give
up his rattles, which they use for music in their idolatrous feasts
and dances, to the other Indians, who quickly destroyed them.
This was done without any attempt of mine in the affair, I hav-
ing said nothing to him about it, so that it seemed to be nothing
but the power of God's word, without any particular application
to this sin that produced this effect. Thus God has begun; thus
he has hitherto surprizingly carried on a work of grace amongst

230 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

these Indians. May the glory be ascribed to him who is the sole
author of it.

"I went from the Indians to my lodgings, rejoicing for the
goodness of God to my poor people ; and enjoyed freedom of
soul in prayer, and other duties in the evening. Bless the Lord,
O mv soul !''

The next day, he set out on a journey towards the Forks of
Delaware, designing to go from thence to Susquehannah, before
he returned to Crossweeksung. It was five days from his de-
parture from Crossweeksung, before he reached the Forks ; go-
ing round by the way of Philadelphia, and waiting on the Gov-
ernor of Pennsylvania, to get a recommendation from him to the
Chiefs of the Indians ; which he obtained. He speaks of much
comfort and spiritual refreshment, in this journey, and also, a sense
of his exceeding unworthiness, thinking himself the meanest crea-
ture that ever lived.

Forks of Delaware, in Pennsylvania, Sept. 1745.

Lord's day, Sept. I. " Preached to the Indians from Luke
xi. 16 — 23. The word appeared to be attended with some pow-
er, and caused some tears in the assembly. Afterwards preached
to a number of white people present, and observed many of them
in tears ; and some who had formerly been careless and uncon-
cerned about religion, perhaps, as the Indians. Towards night,
discoursed to the Indians again, and perceived a greater attention,
and more visible concern among them, than has been usual in
these parts. God gave me the spirit of prayer, and it was a bles-
sed season in that respect. My soul cried to God for mercy, in
an affectionate manner. In the evening, also, my soul rejoiced
in God.

Sept. 3. " Preached to the Indians from Isaiah lii. 3 — 6. He
is despised and rejected of men, &ic. The Divine presence seem-
ed to be in the midst of the assembly, and a considerable con-
cern spread among them. Sundry persons seemed to be awaken-
ed ; among whom were two stupid creatures, whom I could scarce
ever before keep awake while I was discoursing to them. I
could not but rejoice at this appearance of things; although at
the same time, I could not but fear, lest the concern which they
at present manifested, might prove like a morning cloud, as some-
thing of that nature had formerly done in these parts.

Sept. 4. "Rode 15 miles to an Irish settlement, and preached
there from Luke xiv. 22. ' And yet there is room."1 God was

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 231

pleased to afford me some tenderness and enlargement in the
first prayer, and much freedom as well as warmth in the sermon.
There were many tears in the assembly ; the people of God
seemed to melt; and others to be in some measure awakened.
Blessed be the Lord, who lets me see his work going on in one
place and another !

Sept. 5. " Discoursed to the Indians from the parable of the
sower. Afterwards I conversed particularly with sundry per-
sons ; which occasioned them to weep, and even to cry out in an
affecting manner, and seized others with surprise and concern.
1 doubt not but that a divine power accompanied what was then
spoken. Several of these persons had been with me to Cross-
weeksung : and there had seen and some of them I trust, felt, the
power of God's word, in an affecting and saving manner. I ask-
ed one of them, who had obtained comfort, and given hopeful
evidences of being truly religious, ' Why he now cried?' He re-
plied, ' When he thought how Christ was slain like a lamb, and
spilt his blood for sinners, he could not help crying, when he was
alone ;' and thereupon burst into tears, and cried again. I then
asked his wife who had likewise been abundantly comforted, why
she cried ? She answered, 'that she was grieved that the Indians
here would not come to Christ, as well as those at Crossweek-
sung.' I asked her if she found a heart to pray for them ; and
whether Christ had seemed to be near her of late in prayer, as in
times past; which is my usual method of expressing a sense of
the divine presence. She replied ' yes, he had been near to her,
and at times when she had been praying alone, her heart loved
to pray so, that she could not bear to leave the place, but wanted
to stay and pray longer.'

Sept. 6. " Enjoyed some freedom and intenseness of mind,
in prayer alone ; and longed to have my soul more warmed with
divine and heavenly things. Was somewhat melancholy towards
night, and longed to die and quit a scene of sin and darkness,
but was a little supported in prayer.

Sept. 7. "Preached to the Indians from John vi. 35 — 39.
There was not so much the appearance of concern among them
as at several other times of late ; yet they appeared serious and
attentive.

LorcPs day, Sept. 8. " Discoursed to the Indians in the after-
noon from Acts ii. 36 — 39. The word of God at this time seem-
ed to fall with weight and influence upon them. There were but
few present; but most that were, were in tears; and several
cried out in distressing concern for their souls. There was one
man considerably awakened, who never before discovered
any concern for his soul. These appeared a remarkable work

232 MEMOIRS OF BKA1NERD.

of the Divine Spirit amoni; them generally, not unlike what has
been of late at Crossweeksung. It seemed as if the divine influ-
ence had spread thence to this place ; although something of it
appeared here before in the awakening of my interpreter, his
wife, and some few others. Several of the careless white peo-
ple now present, were awakened, or at least startled, seeing the
power of God so prevalent among the Indians. I then made a
particular address to them, which seemed to make some impres-
sion upon them, and and excite some affection in them.

"There are sundry Indians in these parts, who have always
refused to hear me preach, and have been enraged against those
who have attended on my preaching. But of late they are more
bitter than ever; scoffing at Christianity, and sometimes asking
my hearers, 'How often they have cried,' and 'Whether they
have not now cried enough to do their turn,' &:c. So that they
have already trial of cruel workings.

"In the evening, God was pleased to assist me in prayer, and
give me freedom at the throne of grace. I cried to God for the
enlargement of his kingdom in the world, and in particular
among my dear people; was also enabled to pray for many dear
ministers of my acquaintance, both in these parts, and in New-
England, and also for other dear friends in New-England. My
soul was so engaged and enlarged in the sweet exercise, that I
spent an hour in it, and knew not how to leave the mercy seat.
O how I delighted to pray and cry to God ! I saw that God was
both able and willing to do all that I desired for myself, and his
church in general. I was likewise much enlarged, and assisted
in family prayer. Afterwards when I was just going to bed, God
helped me to renew my petition, with ardour and freedom. O
it was to me a blessed evening of prayer! Bless the Lord, O my
soul.

Sept. 9. " Left the Indians at the Forks of Delaware, and
set out on a journey towards Susquehannah river; directing my
course towards the Indian town more than an hundred and twen-
ty miles westward from the Forks. Travelled about fifteen miles,
and there lodged.

Shaumoking, Sept. 1745.

Sept. 13. " After having lodged out three nights, arrived at
the Indian town I aimed at on the Susquehannah, called Shaumo-
king; one of the places and the largest of them which I visited
in May last. I was kindly received, and entertained by the In-
dians ; but had little satisfaction by reason of the Heathenish
dance and revel they then held in the house where I was obliged

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2-33

to lodge ; which I could not suppress, though I often entreated
them to desist, for the sake of one of their own friends who was
then sick in the house, and whose disorder was much aggravated
by the noise. Alas ! how destitute of natural affection are these
poor uncultivated Pagans ! although they seem somewhat kind in
their own way. Of a truth the dark corners of the earth are
full of the habitations of cruelty. This town, as I observed in
my Diary of May last, lies partly on the East side of the river,
partly on the west, and partly on a large Island in it; and con-
tains upwards of fifty houses, and nearly three hundred persons,
though I never saw much more than half that number in it.
They are of three different tribes of Indians, speaking three lan-
guages wholly unintelligible to each other. About one half of
its inhabitants are Delawares ; the others called Senakas and
Tutelas. The Indians of this place, are accounted the most
drunken, mischievous, and ruffianlike fellows, of any in these
parts ; and satan seems to have his seat in this town in an eminent
manner.

Sept. 14. "Visited the Delaware King; who was supposed
to be at the point of death when I was here in May last, but was
now recovered ; discoursed with him and others, respecting
Christianity ; spent the afternoon with them ; and had more en-
couragement than I expected. The King appeared kindly dis-
posed, and willing to be instructed. This gave me some en-
couragement, that God would open an effectual door for my
preaching the gospel here, and set up his kingdom in this place.
This was a support and refreshment to me in the wilderness, and
rendered my solitary circumstances comfortable and pleasant.
In the evening, my soul was enlarged, and sweetly engaged in
prayer; especially that God would set up his kingdom in this
place, where the devil now reigns in the most eminent manner.
I was enabled to ask this for God, for his glory, and because I
longed for the enlargement of his kingdom to the honour of his
dear name. I could appeal to God with the greatest freedom,
that it was his dear cause, and not my own, which engaged my
heart. My soul cried, 'Lord set up thy kingdom for thine own
glory ;' glorify thyself, and I shall rejoice. Get honour to thy
blessed name, and this is all I desire. Do with me just what thou
wilt: Blessed be thy name forever that thou art God, and that
thou wilt glorify thyself. O that the whole world would glorify
thee ! O let these poor people be brought to know thee, and
love thee, for the glory of thy ever dear blessed name.' I could
not but hope that God would bring in these miserable, wicked
Indians; though there appeared little human probability of it;
for they were then dancing and revelling, as if possessed by the

234 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

devil. But yet I hoped, though against hope, that God would be
glorified, and that his name would be glorified by these poor In-
dians. I continued long in prayer and praise to God, and had
great freedom, enlargement, and sweetness ; remembering dear
friends in New England as well as the people of my charge. Was
entirely free from that dejection of spirit, with which 1 am fre-
quently exercised. Blessed be God !

Lord's day, Sept. 15. "Visited the chief of the Delawares
again, was kindly received by him, and discoursed to the Indians
in the afternoon. Still entertained hopes that God would open
their hearts to receive the gospel; though many of them in the
place were so drunk from day to day that I could get no opportu-
nity to speak to them. Towards night, discoursed with one who
understood the languages of the Six Nations, as they are usually
called ; who discovered an inclination to hearken to Christianity,
which gave me some hopes that the gospel might hereafter be sent
to those nations far remote.

Sept. 16. " Spent the forenoon with the Indians, endeavouring
to instruct them from house to house, and to engage them, as far
as I could, to be friendly to Christianity. Towards night, went
to one part of the town, where they were sober, got together near
fifty of them, and discoursed to them ; having first obtained the
king's cheerful consent. There was a surprising attention among
them, and they manifested a considerable desire of being further
instructed. There were also one or two who seemed to be touch-
ed with some concern for their souls, who appeared well pleased
with some conversation in private after I had concluded my public
discourse to them.

'■My spirits were much refreshed with this appearance of things,
and I could not but return with my Interpreter, having no other
companion in this journey, to my poor hard lodgings, rejoicing in
hopes that God designed to set up his kingdom here, where Satan
now reigns in the most eminent manner; and fouivi uncommon
freedom in addressing the throne of grace for the accomplishment
of so great and glorious a work.

Sept. 17. "Spent the forenoon in visiting and discoursing to
the Indians. About noon left Shaumoking (most of the Indians
going out this day on their hunting design) and travelled down the
river south westward.

Sept. 19. "Visited an Indian town, called Juncauta, situate
on an island in the Susquehannah. Was much discouraged with
the temper and behaviour of the Indians here; although they ap-
peared friendly when I was with them the last spring, and then
gave me encouragement to come and see them again. But they

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. "35

now seemed resolved to retain their pagan notions, and persist in
their idolatrous practices.

Sept. 20. "Visited the Indians again at Juncauta island, and
found them almost universally very busy in making preparations
for a great sacrafice and dance. Had no opportunity to get them
together, in order to discourse with them about Christianity, by
reason of their being so much engaged about their sacrafice. My
spirits were much sunk with a prospect so very discouraging; and
especially seeing I had now no interpreter but a pagan, who was
as much attached to idolatry as any of them; my own interpreter
having left me the day before, being obliged to attend upon some
important business elsewhere, and knowing that he could neither
speak nor understand the language of these Indians ; so that I
was under the greatest disadvantages imaginable. However, I at-
tempted to discourse privately with some of them, but without
any appearance of success : notwithstanding I still tarried with
them.

"In the evening they met together, nearly a hundred of them,
and danced around a large fire, having prepared ten fat deer for
the sacrafice. The fat of the inwards they burnt in the fire while
they were dancing, and sometimes raised the flame to a prodigious
height; at the same time yelling and shouting in such a manner,
that they might easily have been heard two miles or more. They
continued their sacred dance nearly all night, after which they
ate the flesh of the sacrafice, and so retired each one to his own
lodging.

"I enjoyed little satisfaction ; being entirely alone on the island
as to any Christian company, and in the midst of this idolatrous
revel; and having walked to and fro till body and mind were pain-
ed and much oppressed, I at length crept into a little crib made for
corn and there slept on the poles.

Lord's day, Sept. 21. "Spent the day with the Indians on the
island. As soon as they were well up in the morning, I attempted
to instruct them, and laboured for that purpose to get them togeth-
er ; but soon found they had something else to do, for near noon
they gathered together all their powows, or conjurers, and set
about half a dozen of them playing their juggling tricks, and act-
ing their frantic distracted postures, in order to find out why they
were then so sickly upon the island, numbers of them being at that
time disordered with a, fever and bloody flux. In this exercise
they were engaged for Several hours, making all the wild, ridicu-
lous and distracted motions imaginable; sometimes singing; some-
times howling; sometimes extending their hands to the utmost
stretch, and spreading all their fingers, — they seemed to push with

236 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

them as if they designed to push something away, or at least keep
it off at arm's-end; sometimes stroking their faces with their
hands, then spurting water as fine as mist; sometimes sitting flat
on the earth, then bowing down their faces to the ground ; then
wringing their sides as if in pain and anguish, twisting their faces,
turning up their eyes, grunting, puffing, &ic.

" Their monstrous actions tended to excite ideas of horror, and
seemed to have something in them, as I thought, peculiarly suited
to raise the devil, if he could be raised by any thing odd, ridicu-
lous, and frightful. Some of them, I could observe, were much
more fervent and devout in the business than others, and seemed
to chant, peep, and mutter with a great degree of warmth and
vigour, as if determined to awaken and engage the powers below.
J sat at a small distance, not more than thirty feet from them,
though undiscovered, with my bible in my hand, resolving, if pos-
sible, to spoil their sport, and prevent their receiving any ans-
wers from the infernal world, and there viewed the whole scene.
They continued their hideous charms and incantations for more
than three hours, until they had all wearied themselves out ; al-
though they had in that space of time taken several intervals of
rest, and at length broke up, I apprehended, without receiving any
answer at all.

" After they had done powawing, I attempted to discourse with
them about Christianity ; but they soon scattered, and gave me
no opportunity for any thing of that nature. A view of these
things, while I was entirely alone in the wilderness, destitute of
the society of any one who so much as " named the name of
Christ," greatly sunk my spirits, and gave me the most gloomy
turn of mind imaginable, almost stripped me of all resolution and
hope respecting further attempts for propagating the gospel, and
converting the Pagans, and rendered this the most burdensome
and disagreeable Sabbath which I ever saw. But nothing, I can
truly say, sunk and distressed me like the loss of my hope respec-
ting their conversion. This concern appeared so great, and seem-
ed to be so much my own, that I seemed to have nothing to do
on earth, if this failed. A prospect of the greatest concern in the
saving conversion of souls under gospel-light, would have done
little or nothing towards compensating for the loss of my hope in
this respect ; and my spirits now were so damped and depressed,
that I had no heart nor power to make any further attempts
among them for that purpose, and could not possibly recover my
hope, resolution, and courage, by the utmost of my endeavours.

" The Indians of this island can many of them understand the
English language considerably well ; having formerly lived in

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD, 237

some part of Maryland, among or near the white people ; but are
very drunke .>, vicious, and profane, although not so savage as
those who have less acquaintance with the English. Their cus-
toms, in various respects, differ from those of the other Indians
upon the river. They do not bury their dead in a common form,
but let their flesh consume above ground, in close cribs made for
that purpose. At the end of a year, or sometimes a longer space
of time, they take the bones, when the flesh is all consumed, and
wash and scrape them, and afterwards bury them with some cer-
emony. Their method of charming or conjuring over the sick,
seems somewhat different from that of other Indians, though in
substance the same. The whole of it among these and others,
perhaps, is an intimation of what seems, by Naaman's expression,
2 Kings, 5th, 11th, to have been the custom of the ancient hea-
then. It seems chiefly to consist in their " strking their hands
over the diseased," repeatedly stroking them, " and calling upon
their gods ,•" except the spurting of water like a mist, and some
other frantic ceremonies common to the other conjurations which
I have already mentioned.

" When I was in this region in May last, I had an opportunity
of learning many of the notions and customs of the Indians, as
well as observing many of their practices. I then travelled more
than an hundred and thirty miles upon the river, above the Eng-
lish settlements ; and, in that journey, met with individuals of
seven or eight distinct tribes, speaking as many different langua-
ges. But of all the sights I ever saw among them, or indeed any
where else, none appeared so frightful, or so near a kin to what is
usually imagined of infernal powers, none ever excited such ima-
ges of terror in my mind, as the appearance of one who was a de-
vout and zealous Reformer, or rather, restorer of what he sup-
posed was the ancient religion of the Indians. He made his ap-
pearance in his pontifical garb, which was a coat of boar skins,
dressed with the hair on, and hanging down to his toes ; a pair
of bear skin stockings ; and a great wooden face painted, the one
half black, the other half tawny, about the colour of an Indian's
skin, with an extravagant mouth, cut very much awry ; the face
fastened to a bear skin cap, which was drawn over his head. He
advanced towards me with the instrument in his hand, which he
used for music in his idolatrous worship ; which was a dry tortoise
shell with some corn in it, and the neck of it drawn on to a piece
of wood, which made a very convenient handle. As he came for-
ward, he beat his tune with the rattle, and danced with all his
might, but did not suffer any part of his body, not so much as his
fingers, to be seen. No one would have imagined from his ap-
pearance or actions, that he couid have been a human creature, if

238 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

they had not had some intimation of it otherwise. When ht
came near me, 1 could not but shrink away from him. although ii
was then noon day, and I knew who it was ; his appearance and
gestures were so prodigiously frightful. He had a house conse-
crated to religious uses, with divers images cut upon the several
parts of it. I went in, and found the ground beat almost as hard
as a rock, with their frequent dancing upon it. i discoursed with
him about Christianity. Some of my discourse he seemed to like,
but >ome of it he disliked extremely. He told me that God had
tau.dit him his religion, and that he never would turn from it ;
but wanted to find some who would join heartily with him in it ;
for the Indians, he said, were grown very degenerate and corrupt.
He had thoughts, he said, of leaving all his friends, and travelling
abroad, in order to find some who would join with him; for he
believed that God had some good people some where, who felt as
he did. He had not always, he said, felt as he now did ; but had
formerly been like the rest of the Indians, until about four or five
years before that time. Then, he said, his heart was very much
distressed, so that he could not live among the Indians, but got
away into the woods, and lived alone for some months. At
length, he says, God comforted his heart, and showed him what
he should do ; and since that time he had known God, and tried
to serve him ; and loved all men, be they who they would, so as
he never did before. He treated me with uncommon courtesy,
and seemed to be hearty in it. I was told by the Indians, that he
opposed their drinking strong liquor with all his power ; and that,
if at any time he could not dissuade them from it by all he could
say, he would leave them, and go crying into the woods. It was
manifest that he had a set of religious notions which he had exam-
inedybr himself, and not taken for granted, upon bare tradition ;
and he relished or disrelished whatever was spoken of a religious
nature, as it either agreed or disagreed with his standard. While
I was discoursing, he would sometimes say, "Now that I like ; so
God has taught me ;" <£rc. and some of his sentiments seemed
very just. Yet he utterly denied the existence of a devil, and
declared there was no such creature known among the Indians of
old times, whose religion he supposed he was attempting to revive.
He likewise told me, that departed souls all went southward, and
that the difference between the good and the bad, was this : that
the former were admitted into a beautiful town with spiritual
walls ; and that the latter would for ever hover around these
walls, in vain attempts to get in. He seemed to be sincere, hon-
est, and conscientious in his own way, and according to his own
religious notions ; which was more than I ever saw in any other
Pagan. I perceived that he was looked upon and derided among

i\IEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 239

most of the Iudians, as a precise zealot, who made a needless noise
about religious matters ; but 1 must say that there was something
in his temper and disposition, which looked more like true reli-
gion, than any thing 1 ever observed amongst other heathens.

" But alas ! how deplorable is the state of the Indians upon this
river ! The brief representation which I have here given of their
notions and manners, is sufficient to shew that they are "led cap-
tive by Satan at his will," in the most eminent manner; and me-
thinks might likewise be sufficient to excite the compassion, and
engage the prayers, of pious souls for these their fellow-men, who
sit " in the regions of the shadow of death."

Sept. 22. " Made some further attempts to instruct and Chris-
tianize the Indians on this Island, but all to no purpose. They
live so near the white people that they are always in the way of
strong liquor, as well as of the ill examples o£ nominal Christiaqp;
which renders it so unspeakably difficult to treat with them about
Christianity."

Braixerd left these Indians on the 2.3d of September, to re-
turn to the Forks of Delaware, in a very weak state of body, and
under great dejection of mind, which continued the two first days
of his journey.

Sept. 25. " Rode still homeward. In the forenoon, enjoyed
freedom and intenseness of mind in meditation on Job, xlii. 5, 6,
" I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine
eye seeth thee ; wherefore I abhor myself and repent in dust and
ashes." The Lord gave me clearness to penetrate into the sweet
truths contained in that text. It was a comfortable and sweet
season to me.

Sept 26. " Was still much disordered in body, and able to
ride but slowly. Continued my journey, however. Near night,
arrived at the Irish settlement, about fifteen miles from mine own
house. This day, while riding, I was much exercised with a sense
of my barrenness ; and verily thought there was no creature who
had any true grace, but what was more spiritual and faithful. I
could not think that any of God's children made so poor a hand
of living to God.

Sept. 27. " Spent a considerable time in the morning in prayer
and praise to God. My mind was somewhat intense in the duty ;
and my heart, in some degree, warmed with a sense of divine
things. My soul was melted to think that " God had accounted
me faithful, putting me into the ministry." My soul was also, in
some measure, enlarged in prayer for the dear people of my

240 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

charge, as well as for other dear friends. Afternoon visited some
christian friends, and spent the time 1 think profitably; my heart
was warmed and more engaged in the things of God. In the eve-
ning I enjoyed enlargement, warmth and comfort in prayer : my
soul relied on God for assistance and grace to enable me to do
something in his cause : my heart was drawn out in thankfulness
to God for what he had done for his own glory among my poor
people of late. I felt encouraged to proceed in his work ; being
persuaded of his power, and hoping that his arm might be further
revealed for the enlargement of his dear kingdom. My soul " re-
joiced in hope of the glory of God," in hope of the advancement
of his declarative glory in the world, as well as of enjoying him
in a world of glory. O, blessed be God, the living God, for ever."

.He continued in this comfortable sweet frame of mind the two
next days. On the following day, he went to his own house in
the Forks of Delaware, and continued still in the same frame.
The next day, Tuesday, he visited his Indians.

"Forks of Delaware, Oct. 1745.

Oct. I. "Discoursed to the Indians here, and spent some time
in private conference with them about their souls' concerns, and
afterwards invited them to accompany, or if not, to follow me to
Crossweeksung as soon as they could conveniently; which invi-
tation numbers of them cheerfully accepted.

Wednesday he spent principally in writing the meditations he
had in his late journey to the Susquehannah. On Thursday he
left the Forks of Delaware, and travelled towards Crossweek-
sung, where he arrived on Saturday, Oct. 5 ; and continued from
day to day in a comfortable state of mind.

" Crossweeksung, Oct. 1745.

Oct. 5. " Preached to my people from John xiv. 1 — C. The
divine presence seemed to be in the assembly. Numbers were
affected with divine truths, and it was a comfort to some in par-
ticular. O what a difference is there between these, and the In-
dians with whom I had lately treated upon the Susquehannah !
To be with those seemed to be like being banished from God and
all his people ; to be with these, like being admitted into his
family, and to the enjoyment of his divine presence ! How great
is the change lately made upon numbers of those Indians ; who,
not many months ago, were as thoughtless and averse to Chris

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 211

lianity, as those upon the Susquehannah ; and how astonishing is
that Grace, which has made this change !

LordPs day, Oct. 6. " Preached in the forenoon from John
x. 7 — 11. There was a considerable melting among my peo-
ple; the dear young Christians were refreshed, comforted and
strengthened ; and one or two persons newly awakened. — In the
afternoon I discoursed on the story of the Jailor, Acts xvi, and in
the evening, expounded Acts xx, 1 — 12. There was at this time
a very agreeable melting spread throughout the whole assembly.
I think I scarce ever saw a more desirable affection in any num-
ber of people in my life. There was scarcely a dry eye to be
seen among them ; and yet nothing boisterous or unseemly, noth-
ing that tended to disturb the public worship ; but rather to en-
courage and excite a christian ardour and spirit of devotion. —
Those, who I have reason to hope were seriously renewed, were
first affected, and seemed to rejoice much, but with brokennessof
spirit and godly fear. Their exercises were much the same with
those mentioned in my journal of Aug. 26, evidently appearing to
be the genuine effects of a spirit of adoption.

" After public service was over, I withdrew, being much tired
with the labours of the day ; and the Indians continued praying
among themselves for nearly two hours together; which contin-
ued exercises appeared to be attended with a blessed quickening
influence from on high. I could not but earnestly wish that num-
bers of God's people had been present at this season to see and
hear these things which I am sure must refresh the heart of every
true lover of Zion's interest. To see those, who were very late-
ly savage Pagans and idolaters, having no hope, and without God
in the world, now filled with a sense of divine love and grace,
and worshipping the Father in spirit and in truth, as numbers
have appeared to do, was not a little affecting ; and especially to
see them appear so tender and humble, as well as lively, fervent,
and devout in the divine service.

Oct. 7. " Being called by the church and people of East-
Hampton, on Long-Island, as a member of a council to assist and
advise in affairs of difficulty in that church, I set out on my jour-
ney this morning before it was well light, and travelled to Eliza-
bethtown, and there lodged. Enjoyed some comfort on the road
in conversation with Mr. William Tennent, who was sent for on
the same business."

Brainerd prosecuted his journey with the other ministers who
were sent for, and did not return till Oct. 24. While he was at
East-Hampton, the importance of the business, on which the
council were convened, lay with such weight on his mind, and

242 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

he was so concerned for the interests of religion in that place,
that he slept but little for several nights successively. In his
way to and from East-Hampton, he had several seasons of sweet
refreshment; wherein his soul was enlarged and comforted with
divine consolations in secret retirement ; and he had special as-
sistance in public ministerial performances in the house of God ;
and yet at the same time a sense of extreme vileness and unprof-
itableness. From time to time he speaks of soul refreshments
and comfort in conversation with the ministers who travelled
with him, and seems to have little or nothing of melancholy until
he came to the west end of Long-Island in his return. After
that he was oppressed with dejection and gloominess of mind for
several days together.

" Crossweeksung, Oct. 1 745.

Oct. 24. " Discoursed from John iv. 13, 14. There was a
great attention, a desirable affection, and an unaffected melting in
the assembly. It is surprising to see how eager they are to hear
the word of God. I have oftentimes thought that they would
cheerfully and diligently attend divine worship twenty-four hours
together, if they had an opportunity so to do.

Oct. 25. " Discoursed to my people respecting the Resurrec-
tion, from Luke xx. 27 — 36. When I came to mention the bless-
edness which the godly shall enjoy at that season ; their final free-
dom from death, sin and sorrow 5 their equality to the angels in
their nearness to and enjoyment of Christ, some imperfect degree
of which they are favored with in the present life, from whence
springs their sweetest comfort ; and their being the children of
God, openly acknowledged by him as such : — I say, when I men-
tioned these things, numbers of them were much affected and
melted with a view of this blessed state.

Oct. 26. " Being called to assist in the administration of the
Lord's supper in a neigbouring congregation, I invited my people
to go with me. They in general embraced the opportunity cheer-
fully ; and attended the several discourses of this solemnity with
diligence and affection, most of them now understanding some-
thing of the English language.

Lord's day, Oct. 27. " While I was preaching to a vast assem-
bly of people abroad, who appeared generally easy and secure
enough, there was one Indian woman, a stranger, who never heard
me preach before, nor ever regarded any thing about religion,
being now persuaded by some of her friends to come to meeting,
though much against her will, was seized with distressing concern
for her soul ; and soon after expressed a great desire of going

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 243

home, more than forty miles distant, to call her husband, that he
also might be awakened to a concern for his soul. Some others
of the Indians appeared to be alfected with divine truths this dayv
The pious people of the English, numbers of whom 1 had oppor-
tunity to converse with, seemed refreshed with seeing the Indians
worship God in that devout and solemn manner with the assem-
bly of his people ; and with tho^e mentioned in Arts xi. 18, they
could not but glorify God, saying. " Then hath God also to the
Gentiles granted repentance unto life."

" Preached again in the afternoon, to a great assembly ; at
which titr,e some of my people appeared affected ; and, when
public worship was over, were inquisitive whether there would
not be another sermon in the evening, or before the sacramental
solemnity was concluded ; being still desirous to hear God's
word.

Oct. 28. " Discoursed from Matt. xxii. 1 — 13. I was enabled
to open the scriptures, and adapt my discourse and expression to
the capacities of my people, I know not how, in a plain, easy, and
familiar manner beyond all that 1 eould have done by the utmost
study: and this without any special difficulty ; yea with as much
freedom as if 1 had been addressing a common audience, who had
been instructed in the doctrines of Christianity all their days —
The word of God at this time seemed to fall upon the assembly
with a divine power and influence, especially towards the close
of my discourse : there was both a sweet melting and bitter
mourning in the audience. The dear christians were refreshed
and comforted, convictions revived in others, and several persons
newly awakened who had never been with us before. So much of
the divine presence appeared in the assembly, that it seemed
' this was no other than the house of God and the gate of heaven.'
All, who had any savour and relish of divine things, were even
constrained by the sweetness of that season to say, "Lord, it is
good for us to be here : If ever there was among my people an
appearance of the New Jerusalem " as a bride adorned for her
husband," there was much of it at this time; and so agreeable
was the entertainment, where such tokens of the divine presence
were, that I could scarcely be willing in the evening to leave the
place and repair to my lodgings. I was refreshed with a view
of the continuance of this blessed work of grace among them,
and with its influence upon strangers among the Indians, who had
of late from time to time providentially come into this part of
the country. Had an evening of sweet refreshing ; my thoughts
were raised to a blessed eternity ; my soul was melted with de-
sires of perfect holiness, and of perfectly glorifying God.

i44 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD.

Oct. 29. " About noon roue and viewed the Indian lands at
Cranberry : was much dejected and greatly perplexed in mind :
knew not how to see any body again, my soul was sunk with-
in me. Oh that these trials might make me more humble and
holy. Oh that God would keep me from giving way to sinful de-
jection, which may hinder my usefulness.

Oct. .SO. " My soul was refreshed with a view of the continu-
ance of God's blessed work among the Indians.

Oct. 31 . " Spent most of the day in writing ; enjoyed not much
spiritual comfort ; but was not so much sunk with melancholy as
at other times.

Nov. 1. " Discoursed from Luke xxiv. briefly explaining the
whole chapter, and insisting especially upon some particular pas-
sages. The discourse was attended with some affectionate con-
cern upon some of the hearers, though not equal to what has of-
ten appeared among them.

Nov; 2. " Spent the day with the Indians ; wrote some things
of importance ; and longed to do more for God than I did, or
could do in this present feeble and imperfect state.

LorcPs clay, Nov. 3. " Preached to my people from Lukexvi.
17. " And it is easier for heaven and earth," <kx. more especial-
ly for the sake of several lately brought under deep concern for
their souls. There was some apparent concern and affection in
the assembly : though far less than has been usual of late.

u Afterwards I baptized fourteen persons of the Indians: six
adults and eight children. One of these was nearly fourscore
vears of age ; and I have reason to hope that God has brought
her savingly home to himself. Two of the others were men of
fifty years old, who had been singular and remarkable among the
Indians for their wickedness ; one of them had been a murderer,
and both notorious drunkards as well as excessively quarrelsome ;
but now I cannot but hope that both of them have become sub-
jects of God's special grace, especially the worst of them.* I
deferred their baptism for many weeks after they had given evi-
dence of having passed a great change, that I might have more
opportunities to observe the fruits of the impressions which they
had been under, and apprehended the way was now clear. There
was not one of the adults whom I baptized, who had not given me
comfortable grounds to hope that God had wrought a work of
special grace in their hearts; although I could not have the
same degree of satisfaction respecting one or two of them as the
rest.

* The man particularly mentioned in ray journal of August 10, as being then
awakened.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 245

Nov. 4. " Discoursed from John xi. briefly explaining most of
the chapter. Divine truths made deep impressions upon many
in the assembly. Numbers were affected with a view of the pow-
er of Christ manifested in his raising the dead ; and especially
when this instance of his power was improved to show his ability
to raise dead souls, such as many of them then felt themselves to
be, to a spiritual life ; as also to raise the dead at the last day, and
dispense to them true rewards and punishments.

" There numbers of those who had come here lately from re-
mote places, who were now brought under deep and pressing con-
cern for their souls. One in particular, who not long since came
half drunk, and railed on us, and attempted by all means to dis-
turb us while engaged in divine worship, was now so concerned
and distressed for her soul, that she seemed unable to get any
ease without an interest in Christ. There were many tears and
affectionate sobs and groans in the assembly in general ; some
weeping for themselves; others for their friends. Although per-
sons are doubtless much more easily affected now than they were
in the beginning of this religious concern, when tears and cries for
their souls were things unheard of among them ; yet I must say
that their affection in general appeared genuine and unfeigned ;
and especially this appeared very conspicuous in those newly
awakened. So that true and genuine convictions of sin seem still
to be begun and promoted in many instances.

" Baptized a child this day, and perceived numbers of the bap-
tized persons affected with the administration of this ordinance,
as being thereby reminded of their own solemn engagements.

;' I have now baptized in a\\ forty-seven of the Indians ; twenty-
three adults, and twenty-four children ; thirty-rive of them belong-
ed to this region, and the rest to the Forks of Delaware. —
Through rich grace, none of them as yet have been left to dis-
grace their profession of Christianity by any scandalous or unbe-
coming behaviour.

" I might now properly make many remarks on a work of grace
so very remarkable as this has been in various respects , but shall
confine myself to a few general hints only.

"1. It is remarkable that God began this work among the In-
dians at a time when I had the least hope, and, to my apprehen-
sion the least rational prospect of seeing a work of grace propa-
gated among them : my bodily strength being then much wasted
by a late tedious journey to the Susquehannah, where I was ne-
cessarily exposed to hardships and fatigues among the Indians:
my mind being also exceedingly depressed with a view of the un-
successfulness of my labours. I had little reason so much as to

2ib MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

hope thai God had made me instrumental in the saving conversion
of any of the Indians, except my interpreter and his wife. Hence
I was ready to look upon myself as a burden to the honourable
Society which employed and supported me in this business, and
began to entertain serious thoughts of giving up my mission; and
almost resolved 1 would do so at the conclusion of the present
year, if T had then no better prospect of special success in my
work than 1 had hitherto had. 1 cannot say that I entertained
these thoughts because I was weary of the labours and fatigues
which necessarily attended my present business, or because I had
light and freedom in my own mind to turn anv other way : but
purely through dejection of spirit, pressing discouragement, and
an apprehension of its being unjust to spend money consecrated
to religious uses, only to civilize the Indians, and bring them to an
external profession of Christianity. This was all which I could
then see any prospect of effecting, while God seemed, as I
thought, evidently to frown upon the design of their saving con-
version, by withholding the convincing and renewing influences
of his blessed Spirit from attending the means which 1 had hith-
erto used with them for that end.

" In this frame of mind I tirst visited these Indians at Cross-
weeksuug; apprehending that it was my indispensable duty, see-
ing I had heard there was a number in these parts, to make some
attempts for their conversion to God, though 1 cannot say, I had
any hope of success, my spirits being now so extremely sunk. J
do not know that my hopes respecting the conversion of the In-
dians vere ever reduced to so low an ebb, since I had any special
concern for them, at this time. Yet this was the very season in
which God saw tit to begin this glorious work ! Thus he "or-
dained strength out of weakness," by making bare his almighty
arm at a time when all hopes and human probabilities most evi-
dently appeared to fail. Whence I learn, that?'/ 'is good tofol-

lozo the path of duty, though in the midst of darkness and discour-
agement.

2. "It is remarkable how God providentially, and in a manner al-
most unaccountable, called these Indians together to be instructed
in the great things that concerned their souls ; and how he seized
their minds with the most solemn and weighty concern for their
eternal salvation, as fast as they came to the place where his word
was preached. When I first came into these parts in June, I
found not one man at the place I visited, but only four women
and a few children ; but before I had been here many days they
gathered from all quarters, some from more than twenty miles
distant ; and when I made them a second visit in the beginning of

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 247

August, sonic came more than forty miles to hear me. Many
came without any intelligence of what was going on here, and
consequently without any design of theirs, so much as to gratify
their curiosity. Thus it seemed as if God had summoned them
together from all quarters for nothing else but to deliver his mes-
sage to them; and that he did this, with regard to some of them,
without making use of any human means; although there was
pains taken by some of them to give notice to others at remote
places.

"Nor is it less surprising that they were one after another af-
fected with a solemn concern for their souls, almost as soon as
they came upon the spot where divine truths were taught them.
] could not but think often, that their coming to the place of our
public worship, was like Saul and his messengers coming among
the prophets ; they no sooner came but they prophesied ; and
these were almost as soon affected with a sense of their sin and
misery, and with an earnest concern for deliverance, as they made
their appearance in our assembly. After this work of grace be-
gan with power among them, it was common for strangers of the
Indians, before they had been with us one day, to be much awa-
kened, deeply convinced of their sin and misery, and to enquire
with great solicitude, " What they should do to be saved ?"

3. " It is likewise remarkable how God preserved these
poor ignorant Indians from being prejudiced against me, and the
truths I taught them, by those means that were used with them for
that purpose by ungodly people. There were many attempts
made by some ill-minded persons of the white people to prejudice
them against, or fright them from, Christianity. They sometimes
told them, that the Indians were well enough already; — that there
was no need of all this noise about Christianity ; — that if they were
Christians, they would be in no better, no safer, or happier state,
than they were already in. Sometimes they told them, that I was
a knave, a deceiver, and the like; that I daily taught them lies,
and had no ether design but to impose upon them, &c. When
none of these, and such like suggestions, would avail to their pur
pose, they then tried another expedient, and told the Indians,
" My design was to gather together as large a body of them as I
possibly could, and then sell them to England for slaves ;" than
which nothing could be more likely to terrify the Indians, they
being naturally of a jealous disposition, and the most averse to
a state of servitude perhaps of any people living.

' But all these wicked insinuations, through divine goodness
over-ruling, constantly turned against the authors of them, and
only served to engage the affections of the Indians more fir&ily

248 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

to me ; for the)7, being awakened to a solemn concern for their
souls, could not but observe, that the persons who endeavoured
to embitter their minds against me, were altogether unconcerned
about their own souls, and not only so, but vicious and profane;
and thence could not but argue, that if they had no concern
for their own, it was not likely they should have for the souls of
others.

" It seems yet the more wonderful that the Indians were pre-
served from once harkening to these suggestions, in as much as
I was an utter stranger among them, and could give them no as-
surance of my sincere affection to, and concern for, them, by any
thing that was past, — while the persons who insinuated these
things were their old acquaintance, who had frequent opportuni-
ties of gratifying their thirsty appetites with strong drink, and con-
sequently, doubtless, had the greatest interest in their affections.
But from this instance of their preservation from fatal prejudices
I have had occasion with admiration to say, " If God will work
who can hinder?"

"4. Nor is. it less wonderful how God was pleased to provide a
remedy for my want of skill and freedom in the Indian language,
by remarkably fitting my interpreter for, and assisting him in the
performance of, his work. It might reasonably be supposed I
must needs labour under a vast disadvantage in addressing the In-
dians by an Interpreter; and that divine truths would undoubted-
ly lose much of the energy and pathos with which they might at
rirst be delivered, by reason of their coming to the audience from
a second hand. But although this has often, to my sorrow and dis-
couragement, been the case in times past, when my interpreter
had little or no sense of divine things ; yet now it was quite oth-
erwise. I cannot think my addresses to the Indians ordinarily,
since the beginning of this season of grace have lost any thing of
the power or pungency with which they were made, unless it were
sometimes for want of pertinent and pathetic terms and expres-
sions in the Indian language ; which difficulty could not have been
much redressed by my personal acquaintance with their language.
My interpreter had before gained some good degree of doctrinal
knowledge, whereby he was rendered capable of understanding,
and communicating, without mistakes, the intent and meaning of
my discourses, and that without being confined strictly, and obli-
ged to interpret verbatim. He had likewise, to appearance, an
experimental acquaintance with divine things ; and it pleased God
at this season to inspire his mind with longing desires for the con-
version of the Indians, and to give him admirable zeal and fer-
vency in addressing them in order thereto. It is remarkable, that,

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 249

when I was favoured with any special assistance in any work, and
enabled to speak with more than common freedom, fervency, and
power, under a lively and affecting sense of divine things, he was
usually affected in the same manner almost instantiy, and seemed
at once quickened and enabled to speak in the same pathetic lan-
guage, and under the same influence that I did. A surprsi g en-
ergy often accompanied the word at such seasons; so that the face
of the whole assembly would be apparently changed almost in an
instant, and tears and sobs became common among them.

" He also appeared to have such a clear doctrinal vievvof God's
usual methods of dealing with souls under a preparatory work of
conviction and humiliation as he never had before; so that I could,
with his help, discourse freely with the distressed p< rsons about
their internal exercises, their fears, discouragements, temptations,
&lc. He likewise took pains day and night to repeat and inculcate
upon the minds of the Indians the truths whi -h I taught them dai-
ly ; and this he appeared to do, not from spiritual pride, and an
affectation of setting himself up as a public teacher, but from a
spirit of faithfulne>s, and an honest concern for their souls.

" His conversation among the Indians has likewise, so far as I
know, been savoury, as becomes a Christian, and a person em-
ployed in his work ; and I may justly say, he has been a great
comfort to me, and a great instrument of promoting this good
work among the Indians; so that whatev r be the state of his own
soul, it is apparent God has remarkably fitted him for this work.
Thus God has manifested that, without bestowing on me the gift
of tongues, he could find a way wherein I might be as eff ctually
enabled to convey the truths of his glorious gospel to the minds of
these poor benighted Pagans.

b. " It is further remarkable, that God has carried on his
work here by such means, and in such a manner, as tended to ob-
viate, and leave no room for, those prejudices and objections which
have often been raised against such a work. When persons have
been awakened to a solemn concern for their souls, by hearing the
more awful truths of God's word, and the terrors of the divine
law insisted upon, it has usually in such cases been objected by
some, that such persons were only frighted with a fearful noise of
hell and damnation; and that there was no evidence that their
concern was the effect of a divine influence. But God has left
no room for this objection in the present case ; this work of grace
having been begun and carried on, by almost one continued strain
of gospel invitation to perishing sinners. This may reasonably be
guessed, from a view of the passages of scripture I chiefly insisted

250 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

upon in my discourses from time to time ; which I have for that
purpose inserted in my Diary.

" Nor have I ever seen so general an awakening in any assembly
in my life as appeared here while I was opening and insisting up-
on the parable of the great supper — Luke 14th. In which dis-
course, I was enabled to set before my hearers, the unsearcha-
ble riches of gospel grace. Not that 1 would be understood
here, that I never instructed the Indians respecting their fallen
state, and the sinfulness and misery of it : for this was what I at
first, chiefly insisted upon with them, and endeavoured to repeat
and inculcate in almost every discourse, knowing that without
this foundation, I should but build upon the sand, and that it would
be in vain to invite them to Christ unless 1 could convince them
of their need of him. — Mark ii. 17.

'" But still this great awakening, this surprising concern, was
never excited by any harangues of terror, but always appeared
most remarkable when I insisted upon the compassion of a
dying Saviour, the plentiful provisions of the gospel, and the
free offers of divine grace, to needy, distressed sinners. Nor
would 1 be understood to insinuate, that such a religious concern
might justly be suspected as not being genuine, and from a divine
influence, because produced from the preaching of terror : for
this is perhaps, God's more usual way of awakening sinners, and
appears entirely agreeable to scripture and sound reason. But
what I meant here to observe is, that God saw fit to employ and
bless milder means for the effectual awakening of these Indians,
and thereby obviated the forementioned objection, which the
world might otherwise have had a more plausible colour of ma-
king- \m

"As there has been ne*P6om for any plausible objection against

thi^ work, with regard to the means ; so neither with regard to
the manner in which it has been carried on. It is true, persons'
concern for their souls has been exceeding great ; the convictions
of their sin and misery have arisen to a high degree, and produ-
ced many tears, cries, and groans ; but then they have not been
attended with those disorders, either bodily or mental, which have
sometimes prevailed among persons under religious impressions.
There has here been no appearance of those convulsions, bodily
agonies, frightful screamings, szooonings, and the like, which have
been so much complained of in some places ; although there
have been some, who, with the jailer, have been made to trem-
ble under a sense of their sin and misery; numbers who have
been made to cry out from a distressing view of their perishing
state: — and sorr^, who have been, for a time, in a great meas-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 851

ure, deprived of their bodily strength, yet without any such con-
vulsive appearances.

"Nor has there been any appearance of mental disorders here,
such as visions, trances, imaginations of being under prophetic
inspiration, and the like ; or scarce any unbecoming disposition
to appear remarkably affected either with concern or joy ; though
I must confess, 1 observed one or two persons, whose concern, I
thought, was in a considerable measure affected ; and one whose
joy appeared to be of the same kind. But these workings of
spiritual pride, I endeavoured to crush in their first appearances,
and have not since observed any affection, either of joy or sor-
row, but what appeared genuine and unaffected. But,

Gthly and lastly, The effects of this work have likewise been
very remarkable. I doubt not but that many of these people
have gained more doctrinal knowledge of divine truths, since I
first visited them in June last, than coald have been instilled into
their minds by the most diligent use of proper and instructive
means for whole years together, without such a divine influence.
Their Pagan notions and idolatrous practices, seem to be entirely
abandoned in these parts. They are regulated, and appear regu-
larly disposed in the affairs of marriage; an instance whereof I
have given in my Journal of August 14. They seem generally
divorced from drunkenness, their darling vice, the 'sin tha' easily
besets them ;' so that I do not know of more than two or three
who have been my steady hearers, that have drunk to excess since I
first visited them ; although before it was common for some or other
of them to be drunk almost every day : and some of them seem
now to fear this sin in particular, more than death itself. A prin-
ciple of honesty and justice, appears in many of them; and they
seem concerned to discharge their old debts, which they have
neglected, and perhaps scarcely thought of for years past. Their
manner of living, is much more decent and comfortable than former-
ly, having now the benefit of that money which they used to con-
sume upon strong drink. Love seems to reign among them, es-
pecially those who have given evidences of having passed a sav-
ing change: and I never saw any appearance of bitterness or cen-
soriousness in these, nor any disposition to 'esteem themselves
better than others,' who had not received the like mercy.

"As their sorrows under convictions have been great and pres-
sing, so many of them have since appeared to ' rejoice with joy
unspeakable, and full of glory ;' and yet I never saw any thing
ecstatic or flighty in their joy. Their consolations do not incline
them to lightness; but, on the contrary, are attended with solem-
nity, and oftentimes with tears, and an apparent brokenness of
heart, as may be seen in several passages of my Diary. In this

lo2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

respect, some of them have been surprized at themselves, and
have wiih concern observed to me, that " when their hearts have
beengiad,' which is a phrase they commonly make use of to ex-
press spiritual joy, ' they could not heip crying for all.'

"And now, upon the whole, I think, I may justly say, that here
are all the symptoms and evidences of a remarkable work of
grace among these Indians, which can reasonably be desired or
expected. May the great Author of this work maintain and pro-
mote the same here, and propagate it every where, till 'the whole
earth be riiied with his glorj !' Amen.

"I have now rode more than thiee thousand miles, of which I
have kept an exact account, since the beginning of March last,
and almost the whole of it has been in my own proper business as
a missionary, upon the design, either immediately, or more re-
motely, of" propagating Christian knowledge among the Indians. I
ha e taken pains to look out for a colleague or companion, to trav-
el »v;th me; and have likewise used endeavours to procure some-
thing for his support, among religious persons in New-England,
which cost me a journey of several hundred miles in length ; but
have not, as yet, found any person qualified and disposed for this
good work, although I had some encouragement from ministers and
others, that it was hoped a maintenance might be procured for
one. when the man should be found.

" I have likewise of late, represented to the gentlemen con-
cerned with this ?nission. the necessity of having an English school
speedily set up among these Indians, who are now willing to be
at the pains of gathering together in a body, for this purpose.
In order thereto, I have humbly proposed to them the collecting
of money for the maintenance of a school-master, and the defray-
ing of other necessary charges, in the promotion of this good
work; which they are now attempting in the several congrega-
tions of Christians to which they respectively belong.

'The several companies of Indians to whom I have preached
in the summer past, live at great distances from each other. It
is more than seventy miles from Crossweeksung, in New-Jersey,
to the Forks of Delaware in Pennsylvania ; and thence to sun-
dry of the Indian settlements which I visited on Susquehannah,
is more than an hundred and twenty miles. So much of my
time is necessarily consumed in journeying, that I can have but
little for any of my necessary studies, and consequently for the
study of the Indian languages in particular; and especially see-
ing I am obliged to discourse so frequently to the Indians at each
of these places while I am with them, in order to redeem time
to visit the rest. I am, at times, almost discouraged from at-
tempting to gain any acquaintance with the Indian languages.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 253

they are so very numerous; some account of which I gave in
my Diary of May last ; and especially, seeing my other la-
bours and fatigues engross almost the whole of my time, and
bear exceedingly hard upon my constitution, so that my health
is much impaired. — However, 1 have taken considerable pains
to learn the Delaware language, and propose still to do so, as far
as my other business and bodily health will admit. I have al-
ready made some proliciency in it, though I have laboured
under many and great disadvantages in my attempts of that
nature. It is but just to observe here, that all the pains I took
to acquaint myself with the language of the Indians with whom
I spent my first year, were of little or no service to me here
among the Delawares ; so that my work, when I came among
these Indians, was all to begin anew.

"As these poor ignorant Pagans stood in need of having ' line
upon line, and precept upon precept,' in order to their being in-
structed and grounded in the principles of Christianity ; so I
preached ' publicly, and taught from house to house,' almost eve-
ry day for whole weeks together, when I was with them. JMy pub-
lic discourses did not then make up the one half of my work, while
there were so many constantly coming to me with that important
enquiry, 'What must we do to be saved?' and opening to me the
various exercises of their minds. Yet 1 can say to the praise of
rich grace, that the apparent success, with which my labours
were crowned, unspeakably more than compensated for the labour
itself, and was likewise a great means of supporting and carrying
me through the business and fatigues, which, it seems, my sature
would have sunk under, without such an encouraging prospect.
But although this success has afforded matter of support, com-
fort, and thankfulness; yet in this season I have found great need
of assistance in my work, and have been much oppressed for want
of one to bear a part of my labours and hardships. 'May the
Lord of the harvest send forth other labourers into this part of
his harvest, that those who sit in darkness may see great light;
and that the whole earth may be filled with the knowledge of
himself! Amen."

CHAPTER VIII.

From the c!nSC of the first part of his "Journal," Nov. 5, 174o, to the
19tli of June, 1746,; xvhen the second part of his Journal terminated.
This, and the preceding chapter, occvpy one year — the most interesting
year of Brainerd's Life.

On Tuesday, Nov. 5, Braikerd left the Indians, and spent the
remaining part of this week in travelling to variou? parts of New-
Jersey, in order to get a collection for the useof the Indians, und* to
obtain a schoolmaster to instruct them. In the meantime, he speaks'
of very sweet refreshment and entertainm, nt with christian friends,
and of being sweetly employed while riding, in meditation on di-
vine subjects; his heart being enlarged, his mind clear, his spirit
refreshed with divine truths, and his " heart burning within hira
while he went by the way, and the Lord opened to him ihe scrip-
tures."

Lord's day, Nov. 10. [At Elizabeth Town.] "Wascomfort-
able in the morning both in body and mind: preached in the
forenoon from 2 Cor. 5. 20. Now then we are ambas adors for
Christ, he. God was pleased to give me freedom and fervency
in my discourse ; and the presence of God seemed to be in the
assembly; numbers were affected, and there were many tears
among them. In the afternoon, preached from Luke '4.22.
And yet there is room. Was favoured with divine assistance in
the first prayer, and poured out my soul to God with a filial
temper; the living God also assisted me in the sermon."

The next day he went to Newtown on Long Island, to a meet-
ing of the Presbytery. He speaks of some sweet meditations
which he had while there, on Christ's delivering up the kingdom
to the Father; and of his soul being much refreshed and warmed
with the consideration of that blissful dav.

Nov. 15. "Could not cross the ferry by reason of the violence
of the wind; nor could I enjoy any place of retirement at the
Ferry-house ; so that I was in perplexity. Yet God gave me
some satisfaction and sweetness in meditation, and in lifting up
my heart to him in the midst of company. Although some ivere

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 255

-drinking and talking profanely, which was indeed a grief to me ;
yet my mind was calm and composed ; and I could not but bless
God, that I was not likely to spend an eternity in such company.
In the evening I sat down and wrote with composure and freedom;
and can say through pure grace it was a comfortable evening to
my soul ; an evening which I was enabled to spend in the service

of God.

.Yor. 16. " Crossed the ferry about ten o'clock, and arrived at
Elizabeth Town near night. Was in a calm, composed frame of
mind, and felt an entire resignaion, with respect to a loss I had
lately sustained in having my horse stolen from me the last
Wednesday night, at Newtown. Had some longings of soul for
the dear people of Elizabeth Town, that God would pour out his
Spirit upon them, and revive his work among them."

He spent the next four days at Elizabeth Town, for the most
part in a free and comfortable state of mind; intensely engaged in
the service of God, and enjoying at times the special assistance
of his Spirit. On Thursday of this week he rode to Freehold,
and spent the day under considerable dejection.

Nov. 22. " Rode to Mr. Tennents, and from thence to Cross-
weeksung. Had but little freedom in meditation while riding ;
which was a grief and burden to my soul. Oh that I could fill
up all my time, whether in the house or by the way, for God. I
I was enabled. I think, this day to give up my soul to God, and
put over all his concerns into his hands ; and found some real
consolation in the thought ol being entirely at the divine disposal,
and having no will or interest of my own. I have received my
all from God ; Oh that I could return my all to God ! Surely
God is worthy of my highest affections and most devout adoration;
he is infinitely worthy that I should make him my last end, and
live for ever to him. Oh that I might never more, in any one
instance, live to myself!

Lord's day, Nov. 24.* " Preached both parts of the day from
the story of Zaccheus, Luke 19. 1 — 9. In the latter exercise,
when I opened and insisted upon the salvation that comes to a sin-
ner upon his becoming a son of Abraham or a true believer, the
word seemed to be attended with divine power to the hearts of the
hearers. Numbers were much affected with divine truths-, former
convictions were rivived ; one or two pe'-sons newly awakened j
and a most affectionate engagement in divine service appeared

* The second part of the Journal began here.

256 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD.

among them universally. The impressions they were under ap-
peared to be the genuine effect of God's word brought home
to their hearts by the power and influence of the Divine
Spirit.

Nov. 26. "After having spent some time in private conferences
with my people, I discoursed publicly among them from John v.
1 — 9. I was favored with some special freedom and fervency in
my discourse, and a powerful energy accompanied divine truths.
Many wept and sobbed affectionately, and scarcely any appeared
unconcerned in the whole assembly. The influence which seized
the audience, appeared gentle, and yet pungent and efficacious.
It produced no boisterous commotions of the passions; but seem-
ed deeply to affect the heart, and excite in the persons under
convictions of their lost state, heavy groans and tears : and in oth-
ers, who had obtained comfort, a sweet and humble melting. It
seemed like the gentle but steady showers which effectually water
the earth, without violently beating upon the surface. The per-
sons lately awakened were some of them deeply distressed for
their souls, and appeared earnestly solicitous to obtain an interest
in Christ: and some of them, after public worship was over, in
anguish of spirit, said "they knew not what to do, nor how to
get their wicked hearts changed." &c.

Nov. 28. "Discoursed to the Indians publicly, after having
used some private endeavours to instruct and excite some in the
duties of Christianity. Opened and made remarks upon the sa-
cred story of our Lord's transfiguration, Luke 9. 28 — 36. Had
a principal view in insisting upon this passage of scripture to the
edification and consolation of God's people. Observed some,
that I have reason to think are truly such, exceedingly affected
with an account of the glory of Christ in his transfiguration, and
filled with longing desires of being with him, that they might with
open face behold his glory.

"After public service was over, I asked one of them, who wept
and sobbed most affectionately, What she now wanted? She re-
plied, "Oh, to be with Christ. She did not know how to stay,"
he. This was a blessed refreshing season to the religious people
in general. The Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest his divine
glory to them, as when transfigured before his disciples; and they
were ready with the disciples universally to say, " Lord it is good
for us to be here."

"The influence of God's word was not confined to those, who
had given evidence of being truly gracious ; though at this time
I calculated my discourse for and directed it chiefly to such. But
it appeared to be a season of Divine power in the whole assembly:

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 257

so that most were in some measure affected. One aged man, in
particular, lat- ly awakened, was now brought under a deep and
pressing concern for his soul, was now earnestly inquisitive " how
he might find Jesus Christ." God seems still to vouchsafe his
divine presence, and the influence of his blessed Spirit to accom-
pany his word, at least in some measure, in all our meetings for
divine worship.

" I enjoyed some divine comfort and fervency in the public
exercise and afterwards. While riding to my lodgings, was favor-
ed with some sweet meditation^ on Luke 9. 31. "Who apoeared
in glory, and spake of his decease, which he should accomplish
at Jerusalem." My thoughts ran with freedom; and I saw and
feh what a glorious subject the death of Christ is for glorified souls
to d>ve!l upon in their conversation. O the death of Christ! how
infini ely precious!

Kov. 30. "Preached near night, after having spent somehours
in private conference with some of my people about their souls'
concerns. Explained and insisted upon the story of the rich man
and Lazarus, Luke 16. 19 — 26. The word made powerful im-
presions upon many in the assembly, especially while I discours-
ed of the blessedness of Lazarus in Abraham's bosom. This I
could perceive affected them much more than what I spoke of
the rich man's misery and torments ; and thus it has been usually
with them. They have almost always appeared much more af-
fected with the comfortable than the dreadful truths of God's
word. That which has distressed many of them under convic-
tion is, that they found they wanted, and could not obtain, the
happiness of the godly; at least, they have often appeared to be
more affected with this than with the terrors of hell. But what-
ever be the means of their awakening, it is plain, numbers are
made deeply sensible of their sin and misery, the wickedness and
stubbornness of their own hearts, their utter inability to help them-
selves, or to come to Christ for help, without divine assistance ;
and so are brought to see their perishing need of Christ to do all
for them and to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy.

Lord's day, Dec I. "Discoursed to my people in the fore-
noon from Luke 16. 27—31. There appeared an unfeigned af-
fection in divers persons, and some seemed deeply impressed with
divine truths. In the afternoon, preached to a number of white
people; at which time the Indians attended' with diligence and
many of them were unable to understand a considerable part of
the discourse. At night discoursed to my people again, and gave
them particular cautions and directions relating to their conduct in
divers respects, and pressed them to watchfulness in their deportment

258 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

seeing they were encompassed with those who waited for their
halting, and who stood ready to draw them into temptations, of
every kind and then to expose religion by their missteps.

Dec. 2. "Was much affected with grief that I had not lived
more to God ; and felt strong resolutions to double my diligence
in my Master's service."

After this he went to a meeting of the Presbytery, at a place
in N. Jersey, called Connecticut Farms; which occasioned his ab-
sence from his people the remainder of the week. He speaks of
some seasons of sweetness and spiritual affection in his absence.

Lord's day, Dec. 8. " Discoursed on the story of the blind
man, John 9. There appeared no remarkable effect of the word
upon the assembly at this time. The persons who have lately
been much concerned for their souls, seemed now not so affected
nor solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ as has been u?ual ; al-
though they attended divine service with seriousness and diligence.
Such have been the doings of the Lord here in awakening sinners,
and affecting the hearts of those who are brought to solid comfort
with a fresh sense of divine things, from time to time, that it is
now strange to see the assembly sit with dry eyes and without sobs
and groans.

Dec. 9. " Spent most of the day in procuring provisions in or-
der to my setting up house-keeping among the Indians. Enjoyed
little satisfaction through the day being very much out of my ele-
ment.

Dec. 10. " Was engaged in the same business as yesterday.
Towards night got into my house.*

Dec. 11. " Spent the forenoon in necessary labours about mj
house. In the afternoon rode out upon business ; and spent the
evening with some satisfaction among friends in conversation on a
serious and profitable subject.

Dec. 12. " Preached from the parable of the Ten Virgins.
Matt. 25. The divine power seemed in some measure to attend
this discourse ; in which I was favoured with uncommon freedom
and plainness t7»' address, and enabled to open divine truths, and
explain them to the capacities of my people in a manner beyond
myself. There appeared in many persons an affectionate concern
for their souls, although the concern in general seemed not so
deep and pressing as it had formerly done. Yet it was refreshing

* This is the third house that he built to dwell in among- the Indians. The first
at Kaunaumeek, county of Albany ; the second at the Forks of Delaware ; the
t/ftird at Crosswceksung, N. Jersey.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 259

to see many melted into tears and unaffected sobs ; some with a
sense of divine love, and some for the want of it.

Dec. 13. "Spent the day mainly in labour about my house.
In the evening, spent some time in writing ; hut was very weary
and much outdone with the labour of the day.

Dec. 14. "Rose early, and wrote by candle light some con-
siderable time : spent most of the day in writing, but was some-
what dejected. In the evening was exercised with pain in my
head.

Dec. 15. "Preached to the Indians from Luke 13. 24 — 28.
Divine truth fell with weight and power upon the audience and
seemed to reach the hearts of many. Near night discoursed to
them again from Matt. 25. 31 — 46. At this season also the word
appeared to be accompanied with a divine influence, and made
powerful impressions upon the assembly in general, as well as
upon numbers in a very special and particular manner. This was
an amazing season of grace. "The word of the Lord,'' this
day, "was quick and powerful, sharper than a two edged sword,"
and pierced the hearts of many. The assembly was greatly af-
fected and deeply wrought upon; yet without so much apparent
commotion of the passions as appeared in the beginning of this
work of grace. The impressions made by the word of God upon
the audience appeared solid, rational, and deep ; worthy of the
solemn truths by which they were produced ; and far from being
the effects of any sudden fright or groundless perturbation of
mind. O, how did the hearts of the hearers seem to bow under
the weight of divine truths ; and how evident did it now appear,
that they received and felt them, " not as the word of man, but
as the word of God." None can form a just idea of the appear-
ance of our assembly at this time but those who have seen a con-
gregation solemnly awed, and deeply impressed by the special
power and influence of divine truths delivered to them in the name
of God.

Dec. 1 6. " Discoursed to my people in the evening from Luke
xi. 1 — 13. After having insisted some time upon the ninth verse,
wherein there is a command and encouragement to ask for the
divine favour, I called upon them to ask for a new heart with the
utmost importunity ; as the man mentioned in the parable, on
which I was discoursing, pleaded for loves of bread at midnight.
There was much affection and concern in the assembly, and es-
pecially one woman appeared in great distress for her soul. She
was brought to such an agony in seeking after Christ, that the
sweat ran offher fare for a considerable time together; (although

2<tt MEMOIRS OF BRAIXEIID.

the evening was very cold ;) and her bitter cries were the most
affecting indications of her heart."

The remainder of this day he spent chiefly in writing ; some
part of the time under a degree of melancholy ; but some part
of it with a sweet ardency in religion.

Dec. 21. \ My people having now attained to a considerable
oegree of knowledge in the principles of Christianity ; I thought
it proper to set up a catechetical lecture among them ; and this
evening attempted something in that form ; proposing questions
to them agreeably to the Assembly's Shorter Catechism, receiv-
ing their answers, and then explaining and insisting as appeared
necessary and proper upon each question. After this I endeav-
ored to make some practical improvement of the whole This
was the method, I entered upon. Thev were able readily and
rationally to answer many important questions which I proposed
to them ; so that, upon trial, I found their doctrinal knowledge
to exceed my own expectations. In the improvement of my dfs-
course, when I came tounfer and open the blessedness of those
who have so great and glorious a God, as had before been spo-
ken of, "for their everlasting friend and portion ;" several were
much affected, and especially when I exhorted, and endeavored
to persuade, them to be reconciled to God through his dear Son
and thus to secure an interest in his everlasting favour. So that
they appeared not only enlightened and instructed, but affected
and engaged in their soul's concern by this method of discoursing
Alter my labours with the Indians, I spent some time in writing
some things divine and solemn; and was much wearied with the
labours of the day, found that my spirits were extremelv spent,
and that I could do no more. I am conscious to myself." that my
labours are as great and constant as my nature will admit ; and
ord.nanly I go to the extent of my strength, so that I do all I
can : but the misery is I do not labour with that heavenly tem-
per, that single eye to the glory of God, that I long for."

Lord's Day, Dec. 22. Discoursed upon the story of the
young man ,n the Gospel, Matt. ix. 16—22. God made it a
seasonable word, I am persuaded, to some souls. There were
several of the Indians newly come here, who had frequentlv lived
among Quakers ; and. being more civilized and conformed to
Lngl.sh manners than the generality of the Indians, they had im-
bibed some of the Quaker's errors, especially this fundamental
one viz. That, if men will but live soberly and honestly according;
to the dictates of their ozon consciencss, or the light within, there is
then no danger or doubt of their salvation. These persons I found
much worse to deal with than those who are wholly under Pagan

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 261

darkness ; who make no pretences to knowledge in Christianity
at all, nor have any self-righteous foundation to stand upon.
However, they all, except one, appeared now convinced that
this soher honest life of itself was not sufficient to salvation ; since
Christ himself had declared it so in the case of the young man.
They seemed in some measure concerned to obtain that change
of heart, the necessity of which I had been labouring to shew
them.

This was likewise a season of comfort to some souls, and in
particular to one, the same mentioned in my journal of the 16th
instant, who never before obtained any settled comfort, though
I have abundant reason to think she had passed a saving change
some days before. She now appeared in a heavenly frame of
mind, composed, and delighted with the divine will. When I
came to discourse particularly with her, and to enquire of her,
how she obtained relief and deliverance from the spiritual dis-
tresses which she had lately suffered ; she answered, in broken
English.* " Me try, me try save myself; last, my strength be all
gone ; (meaning her ability to save herself;) could not me stir bit
further. Den last me forced let Jestts Christ alone send me hell, if
he pleas e.'' I said, " But, you was not willing to go to hell ; was
you?^ She replied, " Could not me help it. My heart, he would
zuickedfor all. Coidd not me make him good, (meaning, she saw
it was right she should go to hell, because her heart was wicked, and
would be so after all she coula1 do to mend it.) I asked her, how
she got out of this case. She answered still in the same broken
language, "By by, my heart be glad desperately." I asked her,
why her heart was glad ? She replied, " Glad my heart, Jesus
Christ do zuhat he please with me. Den me tink, glad my heart Jesus
Christ send me to hell. Did not me care where he put me ; love
him for all," &c. She could not readily be convinced, but that
she was willing to go to hell if Christ was pleased to send her
there ; although the truth evidently was, that her will was so
swallowed up in the divine will, that she could not frame any hell
in her imagination which would be dreadful or undesirable, pro-
vided it was the will of God to send her to it. Toward night dis-
coursed to them again in the catechetical method, which 1 enter-
ed upon the evening before. When I came to improve the truth,
which I had explained to them, and to answer that question,
" But hozv shall I know whether God has chosen me to everlasting
life?" by pressing them to come and give up their hearts to

* In proper English, " / tried, and tried to save myself, till at last my strength was
all gone, and I could not stir any further. Then I was at last obliged to let Jems
Christ alone, to send we to hell if he pleased.

262 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

Christ and thereby " to make their election sure," they then ap-
peared much affected : and persons under concern were afresh
engaged in seeking after an interest in him ; while some others,
who had obtained comfort before, were refreshed to find that
love to God in themselves, which was an evidence of his electing
love to them.

Dec. 23 and 24. " Spent three days in writing with the utmost
diligence. Felt in the main a sweet mortification to the world,
and a desire to live and labour only for God ; but wanted more
warmth and spirituality, and a more sensible and affectionate re-
gard for the glory of God.

Dec. 25. " The Indians having been used, on Christmas
days, to drink and revel among some of the white people in these
parts ; I thought it proper this day to call them together and dis-
course to them upon divine things ; which 1 accordingly did from
the parable of the barren fig tree, Luke xiii. 6 — 9. A divine
influence, lam persuaded, accompanied the word at this season.
The power of God appeared in the assembly, not by producing
any remarkable crisis, but by rousing several stupid creatures
who were scarcely ever moved with any concern before. The
power attending divine truths seemed to have the influence of the
earthquake rather than of the whirlwind upon them. Their pas-
sions were not so much alarmed as has been common here in
times past, but their judgments appeared to be powerfully con-
vinced by the masterly and conquering influence of divine truths.
The impressions made upon the assembly in general, seemed not
superficial, but deep, and heart affecting. O how ready did they
now appear universally to embrace and comply with every thing
which they heard, and were convinced was their duty. God was
in the midst of us, of a truth, bowing and melting stubborn hearts !
How many tears and sobs were then to be seen and heard among
us! What liveliness and strict attention ! What eagerness and
intenseness of mind appeared in the whole assembly, in the time
of Divine service. They seemed to watch and wait for the drop-
pings of God's word, as the thirsty earth, for the " former and
latter rain."

" Afterwards I discoursed to them on the duty of husbands and
wives, from Eph. v. 22—23, and have reason to think this was a
word in season. Spent some time further in the evening in in-
culcating the truths on which I had insisted in my former dis-
course, respecting the barren fig tree ; and observed a powerful
influence accompany what was spoken.

Dec. 26. " This evening was visited by a person under great
spiritual distress ; the most remarkable instance of this kind I

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 263

ever saw. She was, I believe, more than fourscore years old ;
and appeared to be much broken and very childish, through age ;
so that it seemed impossible for man to instil into her any notions
of Divine things ; not so much as to give her any doctrinal in-
struction, because she seemed incapable of being taught. She
was led by the hand into my house, and appeared in extreme an-
guish. Tasked her, what ailed her? She answered, her heart
was distressed, and she feared she should never find Christ." I
asked her when she began to be concerned, with divers other
questions relating to her distress. To all which she answered,
for substance, to this effect : That she had heard me preach many
times, but never knew any thing about it, never felt it in her heart,
till the last Sabbath, and then it came, she said, all one, as if a nee-
dle had been thrust into her heart ; since zohich time, she had no
rest day nor night. She added, that on the evening before Christ-
mas, a number of Indians being together, at the house where she was,
and discoursing about Christ, their talk pricked her heart so that
she coidd not set up, but fell down in her bed ; at which time she
■went away, as she expressed it, and felt as if she dreamed, and yet
is confident she did not dream. When she was thus gone, she saw
two paths ; one appeared very broad and crooked; and that turned
to the left hand. The other appeared straight and very narrow ;
and that went up the hill to the right hand. She travelled, she said,
for some time, up the narrow right hand path, till at length something
seemed to obstruct her journey. ■ She sometimes called it darkness ;
and then described it otherwise, and seemed to compare it to a block
or bar. She then remembered what she had heard me say about stri-
ving to enter in at the straight gate, although she took little notice of it,
at the time when she heard me discourse upon that subject ; and
thought she would climb over this bar. But just as she was think-
ing of this, she came back again, as she termed it, meaning that she
came to herself ; whereupon her soul was extremely distressed, ap-
prehending that she had now turned back, and forsaken Christ, and
that there zoas therefore no hope of mercy for her.

" As I was sensible that trances, and imaginary views of things
are of dangerous tendency in religion, where sought after and de-
pended upon ; so I could not but be much concerned about this
exercise, especially at first ; apprehending this might be a design
of satan to bring a blemish upon the work of God here, by intro-
ducing visionary scenes, imaginary terrors, and all manner of men-
tal disorders and delusions, in the room of genuine convictions of
sin, and the enlightening influences of the blessed Spirit ; and 1
was almost resolved to declare, that 1 looked upon this to be one
of satan's devices, and to caution my people against this and sim-

264 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

ilar exercises of that nature. However, I determined first to en-
quire into her knowledge, to see whether she had any just views
of things which might he the occasion of her present distressing
concern, or whether it was a mere fright, arising or!y from ima-
ginary terrors. I asked her divers questions respecting man's
primitive, and more especially, his present state, and respecting
her own heart ; which she answered rationally, and to my sur-
prise. I thought it next to impossible, if not altogether so, that
a Pagan, who was become a child through age, should in that
state gain so much knowledge by any mere human instruction,
without being remarkably enlightened by a divine influence. I
then proposed to her the provision made in the gospel for the sal*
vation of sinners, and the ability and willingness of Christ " to save
to the uttermost all, old as well as young, that come to him."
To this she seemed to snve a heartv assent ; but instantly replied.
" Ay, but I cannot come ; " my wicked heart will not come to Christ ;
I do not know how to come," &c. This she spoke in anguish of
spirits, striking on her breast, with tears in her eyes, and with
such earnestness in her looks, as was indeed piteous and affecting.
She seems to be really convinced of her sin and misery, and her
need of a change of heart. Her concern is abiding and constant,
so that nothing appears why this exercise may not have a saving
issue. Indeed there seems reason to hope such an issue, seeing
she is so solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ; that her heart,
as she expresses it, prays day and night.

How far God may make use of the imagination in awakening
some persons under these, and similar circumstances, I cannot
pretend to determine. Or, whether this exercise be from a di-
vine influence. I shall leave others to judge. But this I must say,
that its effects hitherto bespeak it to be such ; nor can it, as I see,
be accounted for in any rational way, but from the influence of
some spirit either good or evil. The woman. I am sure, never
heard divine things in the manner in which she now viewed them ;
and it would seem strange that she should get such a rational no-
tion of them from the mere working of her own fancy, without
some superior, or at least foreign, aid. Yet I must say, I have
looked upon it as one of the glories of this work of grace among
the Indians, and a special evidence of its being from a divine in-
fluence, that there has, till now, been no appearance of such
things, no visionary notions, trances, and imaginations, intermixed
with those rational convictions of sjn. and solid consolations, of
which numbers have been made the subjects. And might I have
had my desire, there had been no appearance of any thing of this
nature at all.

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 266

Dec. 27. " Laboured in my studies to the utmost of my
strenght, and though I felt a steady disposition of mind to live
to God. and a firm conviction that 1 had nothing in this world to
live for, yet I did not rind that sensible affection in the service of
God which I wanted to have. My heart seemed barren, though
my head and hands were full of labour.

Dec. 28. " Discoursed to my people in the catechetical meth-
od on which I lately entered. In the improvement of my dis-
course, wherein I was comparing man's present with his primi-
tive state, and shewing from what he had fallen, and the miseries
in which he is now involved, and to which he is exposed in his
natural estate ; and pressing sinners to take a view of their de-
plorable circumstances without Christ, as also to strive that they
might obtain an interest in him; the Lord, I trust, granted a
remarkable influence of his blessed Spirit to accompany what was
spoken ; and a great concern appeared in the assembly. Many
were melted into tears and sobs ; and the impressions made upon
them seemed deep and heart-affecting. In particular, there were
two or three persons, who appeared to be brought to the last ex-
ercises of a preparatory work, and reduced almost to extremity ;
being in a great measure convinced of the impossibility of their
helping themselves, or of mending their own hearts ; and seemed
to be upon the point of giving up all hope in themselves, and of
venturing upon Christ, as poor, helpless, and undone. Yet they
were in distress and anguish, because they saw no safety in so do-
ing, uniess they could do something towards saving themselves.
One of these persons was the very aged woman above-mentioned,
who now appeared "weary and heavy laden" with a sense of her
sin and misery, and her perishing need of an interest in Christ."

Thiss day Brainerd wrote the following letter to his brother
John at Yale College : —

" Crosszveeksung, N. Jersey., Dec. 28, 1745.
" Very Dear Brother,

" I am .n one continued, perpetual, and uninterrupted hurry ;
and div ne Providence throws so much upon me, that i do not
see how it wiil ever be otherwise. May I obtain mercy of God
to be faithful to f)ie death !" I cannot say that I am weary of my
hurry. I only want strength and grace to do more for God than
I have svei yet done.

" My dear brother, the Lord of heaven, who has carried me
through many trials, bless you for time and eternity, and tit you

266 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

to do service for him in his Church helow, and to enjoy his bliss-
ful presence in his church triumphant!

"My dear brother, the time is short. O let us fill it up for
God ; let us couut the sufferings of this present time as nothing,
if we can but run our race, and finish our course with joy. Oh
let us strive to live for God ! I bless the Lord, I have nothing to
do with earth, but only to labour honestly in it for God, till I shall
accomplish " as an hireling my day." 1 think 1 do not desire to
live one minute for any thing which earth can afford. Oh that J
could live for none but God, till my dying moment!
" I am your affectionate brother,

" DAVID BRAINERD."

Lord's day, Dec. 29. " Preached from John iii. 1 — 5. A
number of white people were present, as is usual upon the Sab-
bath. The discourse was accompanied with power, and seemed
to have a silent, but deep and piercing influence upon the audi-
ence. Many wept and sobbed aifectionately. There were some,
tears among the white people, as well as the Indians. Some
could not refrain from crying out ; though there were not many
so exercised. But the impressions made upon their hearts ap-
peared chiefly by the extraordinary earnestness of their attention,
and thir heavy sighs and tears.

" After public worship was over, I went to my house, proposing
to preach again after a short season of intermission. But they
soon came in, one after another, with tears in their eyes, to know
" what they should do to be saved." The divine spirit in such a
manner set home upon their hearts what 1 spake to them, that
the house was soon filled with cries and groans. They all flock-
ed together upon this occasion ; and those, whom I had reason to
think in a christless state, were almost universally seized with
concern for their souls. It was an amazing season of power
amo.Tg them ; and seemed as if God had bowed the heavens and
comedown. So astonishingly prevalent was the operation upon
old as well as young, that it seemed as if none would be ieft in a
secure and natural state, but that God was now about to convert
all the world. I was ready to think, then, that I should never
again despair of the conversion of any man or woman living, be
they who or what they would.

" It is impossible to give a just and lively description of the ap-
pearance of things at this season; at least such as to convey a
bright and adequate idea of the effects of this influence. A num-
ber might now be seen rejoicing, that God had not taken away the
powerful influence of his blessed spirit from this place ; refreshed

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 267

to see so many striving to enter in at the straight gate ; and ani-
mated with such concern for them, that they wanted to push them
forward, as some of them expressed it. At the same time num-
bers both of men and women, old and young, might be seen in tears ;
and some in anguish of spirit appearing in their very countenan-
ces, like condemned malefactors bound towards the place of exe-
cution, with a heavy solicitude sitting in their faces ; so that there
seemed here, as I thought, a lively emblem of the solemn day of
account : a mixture of heaven and hell ; of joy and anguish inex-
pressible. , , t ^A t
" The concern and religious affection was such, that 1 could not
pretend to have any formal religious exercise among them ; but
spent the time in discoursing to one and another, as I thought most
proper and seasonable for each ; and addressed them all together ;
and finally concluded with prayer. Such were their circumstan-
ces at this season, that I could scarcely have half an hour s rest
from speaking, from about half an hour before twelve o'clock, at
which time I began public worship, till after seven at night, lhere
appeared to be four or five persons newly awakened this day, and
the evening before; some of whom but very lately came among

us. i

Dec 30. "Was visited by four or five young persons, under
concern for their souls ; most of whom were lately awakened.
They wept much while I discoursed with them ; and endeavoured
to press upon them the necessity of flying to Christ without delay

for salvation. ... ,

Dec. 31. "Spent some hours this day in visiting my people
from house to house, and conversing with them about their spiritu-
al concerns ; endeavouring to press upon christless souls the ne-
cessity of renovation of heart ; and scarce left a house without
leaving some or other of its inhabitants in tears, appearing solicit-
ously engaged to obtain an interest in Christ,

" The Indians are now gathered together from all quarters to
this place, and have built them little cottages, so that more tban
twenty families live within a quarter of a mile of me. A very con-
venient situation with regard both to public and private mstruc-

t*0"- . a r„A

Jan. 1, 1746. " I am this day beginning a new year, and Uod

has carried me through numerous trials and labours in the past.
He has amazingly supported my feeble frame ; for, having obtain-
ed help of God, I continue to this day. O that I might live nearer
to God this year than I did the last ! The business to which I
have been called, and which I have been enabled to go through, I
know, has been as great as nature could bear up under, and what

268 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD.

would have sunk and overcome me quite, without special support.
But alas, alas ! though I have done the labours and endured the
trials ; with what spirit have I done the one, and endured the oth-
er ? How cold has been the frame of my heart oftentimes! and
how little have I sensibly eyed the glory of God in all my doings
and sufferings ! I have found that I could have no peace without
filling up all my time with labour. Thus 'necessity has been laid
upon me ;' yea, in that respect, I have loved to labour ; but the
misery is, I could not sensibly labour for God, as I would have
done. May I for the future be enabled more sensibly to make
the glory of God my all.

"Spent considerable time in visiting my people again. Found
scarcely one but what was under some serious impressions respec-
ting their spiritual concerns.

Jan. 2. 'Visited some persons newly come among us, who
had scarce ever heard any thing of Christianity before, except the
empty name. Endeavoured to instruct them, particularly in
he first principles of religion, in the most easy and familiar
manner I could. There are strangers from remote parts, almost
continually dropping in among us, so that I have occasion repeat-
edly to open and inculcate the first principles of Christianity.

Jan. 4. " Prosecuted my catechetical method of instructing.
Found my people able to answer questions with propriety, beyond
what could have been expected from persons so lately brought
out of Heathenish darkness. In the improvement of my dis-
course, there appeared some concern and affection in the assem-
bly: and especially in those of whom I entertained hopes as be-
ing truly gracious, at least several of them were much affected
and refreshed.

Lord's day, Jin. 5. " Discoursed from Matt. xii. 10—13. There
appeared not so much liveliness and affection in divine service as
usual. The same truths which have often produced many tears
and sobs in the assembly, seemed now to have no special influ-
ence upon any in it. Near night, I proposed to have proceeded
in my usual method of catechising; but while we were engaged
in the first prayer, the power of God seemed to descend upon the
assembly in such a remarkable manner, and so many appeared un-
der pressing concern for their souls that I thought it much more
expedient to insist upon the plentiful provision made by divine
grace for the redemption of perishing sinners, and to press them
to a speedy acceptance of the great salvation, than to ask them
questions about doctrinal points. What was most practical, seem-
ed most seasonable to be insisted upon, while numbers appeared
so extraordinarily solicitous to obtain an interest in the great Re-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 269

deemer. Baptized two persons this day : one adult, the woman
particularly mentioned in im Journal of Dec. 22, and one child.

" Tl.is woman has discovered a very sweet and heavenly fame
of mind from time to time, since her first reception of comfort.
One morning in particular, she csme to see me, discovering an
unusual joy and satisfaction in her countenance; and when I in-
quired into the reason of it, she replied, ' that God had made her
feel that it was right for him to do what he pleased with all things;
and that it would be right if he should cast her husband and son
both into hell; and she saw it was so right for God to do what he
pleased with them, that she could not but rejoice in God even if
he should ^end them into hell;' though it was apparent she loved
them dearly. She moreover enquired whether 1 was not sent to
preach to the Indians by some good people; a great way off. I re-
plied, 'Yes, by the good people in Scotland.' She answered,
'that her heart loved those good people so the evening before, that
she could not help praying for them all night, her heart would go
to God for them.' Thus, the blessings of those ready to perish,
is like to come upon those pious persons, who have communicated
of their substance to the propagation of the gospel.

Jan 6. " Being very weak in body, I rode for my health.
While riding, my thoughts were sweetly engaged for a time upon
'the Stone cutout of the mountain without hands,' which broke
in pieces all before it, and waxed great and became a great moun-
tain, and filled the whole earth: and I longed that Jesus should
take to himself his great power, and reign to the ends of the earth.'
O how sweet were the moments, wherein 1 felt my soul warm with
hopes of the enlargement of the Redeemer's Kingdom ! I wanted
nothing else, but that Christ should reign to the glory of his bles-
sed name."

The next day he complains of want of fervency.

Jan. 8. In the evening, my heart was drawn out after God
in secret ; my soul was refreshed and quickened, and I trust faith
was in exercise. I had great hopes of the ingathering of pre-
cious souls to Christ, not only among my own people, but others
also. I was sweetly resigned and composed under my bodily
weakness ; and was willing to live or die, and desirous to labour
for God to the utmost of my strength.

Jan. 9. " Was still very weak, and exercised with vapour)
disorders. In the evening, enjoyed some enlargement and spir-
ituality in prayer. Oh that I could always spend my time
profitably both in health and weakness.

270 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

Jan. 10. " My soul was in a sweet, calm, and composed frame,
and my heart filled with love to all the world ; and christian
simplicity and tenderness, seemed then to prevail and reign with-
in me. Near night visited a serious Baptist minister, and had
some agreeable conversation with him, and found that I could
love Christ in his friends.

Jan. 11. "Discoursed in a catechetical method, as usual, of
late. Having opened our first parents' primitive apostacy from
God, and our fall in him; I proceeded to apply my discourse by
shewing the necessity we stood in of an Almighty Redeemer, and
the absolute need every sinner has of an interest in his merits
and mediation. There was some tenderness and affectionate
concern apparent in the assembly.

LorcPs day, Jan. 12.< "Preached from Isaiah lv. 6. The word
of God seemed to fall upon the audience with a divine weight
and influence, and evidently appeared to be 'not the word of
man.' The blessed Spirit I am persuaded accompanied what
was spoken, to the hearts of many ; so that there was a power-
ful revival of conviction in numbers who were under spiritual
exercise before.

" Toward night, catechised in my usual method. Near the
close of my discourse, there appeared a great concern, and much
affection in the audience ; which increased while 1 continued to
invite them tcfcometo^n all-sufficient Redeemer, for eternal
salvation. The spirit of God seems, from time to time to be
striving with souls here. They are so frequently and repeated-
ly roused, that they seem unable at present, to lull themselves
asleep.

Jan. 13. " Was visited by several persons under deep concern
for their souls ; one of whom was newly awakened. It is a most
agreeable work to treat with souls who are solicitously inquiring,
4 what they shall do to be saved.' As we are never to be 'weary
in well doing,' so the obligation seems to be peculiarly strong
when the work is so very desirable. Yet I must say, my health
is so much impaired, and my spirits so wasted with my labours and
solitary manner of living ; there being no human creature in the
house with me ; that their repeated and almost incessant appli-
cations to me for help and direction, are sometimes exceedingly
burdensome ; and so exhaust my spirits, that I become fit for no-
thing at all, entirely unable to prosecute my business, sometimes
for days together. What contributes much towards this difficulty
is, that I am obliged to spend much time in communicating a lit-
tle matter to them: there being oftentimes many things to be
premised before I can speak directly to what I principally aim

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 271

at ; which things would readily he taken for granted, where there
was a competency of doctrinal knowledge.

Jan. 14. " Spent some time in private conference with my
people, and found some disposed to take comfort as I thought upon
slight grounds. They are now generally awakened, and it is be-
come so disgraceful, as well as terrifying to the conscience, to be
destitute of religion, that they are in imminent danger of taking
up with an appearance of grace, rather than to live under the
fear and disgrace of an unregenerated state.

Jan. 15. " My spirits were very low and flat, and I could not
but think I was a burden to God's earth ; and could scarcely
look any body in the face through shame and sense of barrenness.
God pity a poor unprofitable creature."

The two next days he had some comfo.t and refreshment.

Jan. 18. " Prosecuted my catechetical method of discoursing.
There appeared a great solemnity, and some considerable affec-
tion in the assembly. This method of instruction I find very
profitable. When I first entered upon it I was exercised with
fears, lest my discourses would unavoidably be so doctrinal, that
they would tend only to enlighten the head, but not to affect the
heart. But the event proved quite otherwise; for these exerci-
ses have hitherto been remarkably blessed in the latter, as well
as the former respects.

Lor8?s day, Jan. 19. "Discoursed to my people from Isaiak
lv. 7. Toward night catechised in my ordinary method ; and this
appeared to be a powerful season of grace amonj; us. Numbers
were much affected. Convictions were powerfully revived, and
divers numbers of christians refreshed and strengthened ; and
one weary, heavy laden soul, I have abundant reason to hope,
brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ; who afterwards
gave me such an account of God's dealing with his soul, as was
abundantly satisfying, as well as refreshing to me.

"He told me he had often heard me say that persons must see
and feel themselves utterly helpless and undone — that they must
be emptied of a dependence upon themselves and of all hope
of saving themselves, in order to their coming to Christ for salva-
tion. He had long been striving after this view of things ; suppo-
sing that this would be an excellent frame of mind, to be thus
emptied of a dependence upon his own goodness; that God
would have respectto this frame, would then be well pleased witK
him, and bestow eternal life upon him. But when he came to
feel himself in this helpless, undone condition, he found it quite
contrary to all his thoughts and expectations; so that it was not

272 MEMOIRS OF BKA1NERD.

the same frame, nor indeed any thing like the frame after which
he had been seeking. Instead of its being a good frame of mind,
he now found nothing but badness in himself, and saw it was for-
ever impossible for him to make himself any better. He wonder-
ed, he said, that he had ever hoped to mend his own heart. He
was amazed that he had never before seen, that it was utterly im-
possible for him by all his contrivances and endeavours, to do any
thing in that way, since the matter now appeared to him in so
clear a light. Instead of imagining, now that God would be
pleased with him for the sake of this frame of mind, and this view
of his undone estate, he saw clearly, and felt that it would be just
with God to send him to eternal misery; and that there was no
goodness in what he then felt ; for he could not help seeing that
he was naked, sinful, and miserable, and that there was nothing in
such a sight to deserve God's love or pity.

"He saw these things in a manner so clear and convincing,
that it seemed to him he said, he could convince every body of
their utter inability to help themselves, and their unworthiness of
any help from God. In this frame of mind he came to public
worship this evening ; and while I was inviting sinners to come to
Christ naked and empty, without any goodness of their osvn to
recommend them to his acceptance, then he thought with himself
that he had often tried to come and give up his heart to Christ,
and he used to hope that some time or other he should be able
to do so. But now he was convinced that he could not, and that
it was utterly vain for him ever to try any more ; and he could not,
he said, find a heart to make any further attempt, because he saw
it would signify nothing at all; nor did he now hope for a better
opportunity or more ability hereafter, as he had formerly done,
because he saw and was fully convinced that his own strength
would forever fail.

While he was musing in this manner, he saw, he said, with his
heart, which is a common phrase among them, something that
was unspeakably good and lovely, and what he had never seen
before; and "this stole away his heart whether he would or no."
He did not, he said, know what it was that he saw. He did not
say "this is Jesus Christ ;" but it was such glory and beauty as he
never saw before. He did not now give away his heart, as he
had formerly intended and attempted to do ; but it went aw ly of
itself after that glory which he then discovered. He used to make
a bargain with Christ to give up his heart to him that !ie might
have eternal life for it. But now he thought nothing about himself
or what would become of him hereafter ; but was pleased, and
his mind wholly taken up with the unspeakable excellency of

MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 273

what he then beheld. After some time he was wonderfully pleas-
ed with the way of salvation by Christ ; so that it seemed un-
speakably better to be saved altogether by the mere free grace of
God in Christ, than to have any hand in saving himself. The
consequence of this exercise is, that he appears to retain a sense
and relish of divine things, and to maintain a life of seriousness
and true religion."

The next day Brainerd set out on a journey to Elizabeth
Town, to confer with the Correspondents at their meeting there;
and enjoyed much spiritual refreshment from day to day. through
this week. The things expressed in this space of time are such
as these ; serenity, composure, sweetness and tenderness of soul;
thanksgiving to God for his success among the Indians ; delight
in prayer and praise ; sweet and profitable meditations on various
divine subjects ; longing for more love, for more vigour to live to
God, for a life more entirely devoted to him, that he might spend
all his time profitably for God and his cause; conversing on spir-
itual subjects with affection ; and lamentation for unprofitable-
ness.

Lord1 s day, Jan. "Id. [At Connecticut Farms.] "Was calm
and composed. Was made sensible of utter inability to preach
without divine help ; and was in some good measure willing to
leave it with God, to give or withhold assistance, as he saw
would be most for his own glory. Was favoured with a consid-
erable degree of assistance in my public work. After public
worship, 1 was in a sweet and solemn frame of mind, thankful to
God that he had made me in some measure faithful in addressing
precious souls, but grieved that I had been no more fervent in
my work; and was tenderly affected towards all the world, long-
ing that every sinner might be saved ; and could not have enter-
tained any bitterness towards the worst enemy living. In the
evening, rode to Elizabeth Town; and while riding, was almost
constantly engaged in lifting up my heart to God, lest I should
lose that sweet, heavenly solemnity and composure of soul which
I then enjoyed. Afterwards was pleased to think that God
reigneth ; and thought I could never be uneasy with any of his
dispensations, but must be entirely satisfied, whatever trials he
should cause me in his church to encounter. Never felt morese-
dateness, divine serenity and composure of mind; could freely
have left the dearest earthly friend for the society of angels and
spirits of just men made perfect : my affections soared aloft to the
blessed Author of every dear enjoyment. 1 viewed the empti-
ness and unsatisfactory nature of the most desirable earthly ob-

874 xMEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

jects, any further than God is seen in them, and longed for a life
of spirituality and inward purity ; without which I saw there
could be no true pleasure.

"Crossweeksung, Jen* 1746.

Jan. 28th. " The Indians in these parts have, in times past,
run themselves in debt, by their excessive drinking; and some
have taken the advantage of them, and put them to trouble and
charge, by arresting sundry of them ; whereby it was supposed
their hunting lands, in great part, were much endangered, and
might speedily be taken from them. Being sensible that they
could not subsist together in these parts, in order to their being a
Christian congregation, if these lands should be taken, which
was thought very likely; I thought it my duty to use my utmost
endeavours to prevent so unhappy an event. Having acquainted
the gentlemen concerned in this mission with the affair, according
to the best information I could get of it, they thought it proper
to expend the money, which they had been and still were collect-
ing for the religious interest of the Indians, at least a part of it,
for discharging their debts, and securing these lands, that there
might be no entanglement lying upon them to hinder the settle-
ment and hopeful enlargement of a Christian congregation of In-
dians in these parts. Having received orders from them, I an-
swered, in behalf of the Indians, eghty -two pounds, jive shillings,
N. Jersey currency, at eight shillings per ounce; and so prevented
the danger of difficulty in this respect.

"As God has wrought a wonderful work of grace among these
Indians, and now inclines others from remote places to fall in
among them almost continually; and as he has opened a door for
the prevention of the difficulty now mentioned which seemed
greatly to threaten their religious interests as well as worldly com-
forts ; it is to be hoped that he designs to establish a church
for himself among them, and hand down true religion to their
posterity.

Jan. 30. "Preached to the Indians from John 3. 16, 17.
There was a solemn attention and some affection visible in the
audience ; especially several persons, who had long been con-
cerned for their souls, seemed afresh excited and engaged iu
seeking after an interest in Christ. One, with much concern,
afterwards told me "his heart was so pricked with my preaching
he knew not where to turn or what to do."

Jan. 31. "This day, the person whom I had made choice of
and engaged for a school master among the Indians, arrived
among us, and was heartily welcomed by my people universally.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2-7*

Whereupon i distributed several dozen of primers among the
children.

Feb. 1. " My schoolmaster entered upon his business among
the Indians. He has generally about thirty children and young
persons in his school in the day time, and about fifteen married
people in the evening school. The number of the latter sort of
persons being less than it would be if they could be more con-
stantly at home, and could spare time from their necessary em-
ployments for an attendance upon these instructions.

" Towards night enjoyed some of the clearest thoughts on a
divine subject, viz. that treated of 1 Cor. 15. 13 — 16. But if
there be no resurrection of the dead, &c, which I ever remember
to have had upon any subject whatsoever ; and spent two or three
hours in writing them. I was refreshed with this intenseuess ;
my mind was so engaged in these meditations I could scarcely
turn it to any thing else, and indeed I could not be willing to part
with so sweet an entertainment.

"In the evening chatechised in my usual method. Towards
the close of my discourse, a surprising power seemed to attend
the word, especially to some persons. One man considerably in
years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a conjurer and mur-
derer, and was awakened some months before, was now brought
to great extremity under his spiritual distress; so that he trembled
for hours together, and apprehended himself just dropping into
hell, without any power to rescue or relieve himself. Divers oth-
ers appeared under great concern, as well as he, and solicitous to
obtain a saving change.

Lord's day, Feb. 2. "Preached from. John 5th, 24, 25. There
appeared, as usual, some concern and affection in the assembly.
Towards night proceeded in my usual method of chatechising.
Observed my people more ready in answering the questions pro-
posed to them than ever before. It is apparent they advance
daily in doctrinal knowledge. But what is still more desirable,
the Spirit of God is yet operating among them; whereby exper-
imental as well as speculative knowledge is propagated in their
minds.

"After public worship my bodily strength being much spent,
my spirits sunk amazingly ; and especially on hearing that ] was
generally taken to be a Roman Catholic, sent by the Papists to
draw the Indians into an insurrection against the English ; that
some were in fear of me, and others were for having me taken up
by authority and punished. Alas, what will not the devil do to
bring a slur and disgrace on the work of God ! O, how holy and
circumspect had I need to be ! Through divine goodness I have

276 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

been enabled to mind my own business in these parts as well as
elsewhere ; and to let all men, and all denominations of men,
alone, as to their party notions; and only preached the plain and
necessary truths of Christianity, neither inviting to, nor excluding
from, any meeting, any of any sort or persuasion whatsoever.
Towards night, the Lord gave me freedom at the throne of grace
in my first prayer before my chatechetical lecture: and, in opening
the 45th Psalm to my people, my soul confided in God; although
the wicked world should slander and persecute me, or even con-
demn and execute me as a traitor to my king and country. Truly,
"God is a present help in time of trouble." In the evening my
soul was in some measure comforted, having some hope that one
poor soul was brought home to God this day ; though the case did
by no means appear deaf Oh that I could fill up every moment
of time, during my abode here below, in the service of my God
and King.

Feb. 3. "My spirits were still much sunk with what I heard
the day before, of my being suspected to be engaged in the Pre-
tender's interest. It grieved me, that, after there had been so
much evidence of a glorious work of grace among these poor In-
dians, as that the most carnal men could not but take notice of the
great change made among them, so many poor souls should still
suspect the whole to be only a Popish plot, and so cast an awful
reproach on this blessed work of the divine Spirit, and at the same
time wholly exclude themselves from receiving any benefit by this
divine influence. This put me upon searching whether I had ever
dropped any thing inadvertently, which might give occasion to
any to suspect that I was stirring up the Indians against the Eng-
lish ; and could think of nothing unless it was my attempting
sometimes to vindicate the rignts of the Indians, and complaining
of the horrid practice of making the Indians drunk and then
cheating them out of their lands and other property. Once I re-
membered I had done this with too much warmth of spirit, which
much distressed me ; thinking that it might possibiy prejudice
them against this work of grace to their everlasting destruction.
God, I believe, did me good by this trial, which served to hum-
ble me. and shew me the necessity of watchfulness and of being
wise as a serpent as well as harmless as a dove. This exercise
led me to a throne of grace, and there I found some support :
though I could not get the burden wholly removed. Was assisted
in prayer, especially in the evening."

He remained still under a degree of anxiety about this affair,
"hich continued to have the same effect upon him to cause him

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 277

to reflect upon and humble himself, and frequent the throne of
srace; but soon found himself much more relieved and supported.
He was this week in an extremely weak state, and obliged, as he
expresses it, " to consume considerable time in diversions for his
health."

Feb. 5. " Discoursed to a considerable number of the Indians
in the evening; at which time numbers of them appeared much
affected and melted with divine things.

Feb. 8. " Spent a considerable part of the day in visiting my
people from house to house, and conversing with thern about their
soul's concerns. Divers persons wept, while I discoursed to
them, and appeared concerned for nothing so much as for an inter-
est in the great Redeemer. In the evening catechised as usual.
Divine truths made some impressions upon the audience ; and
were attended with an affectionate engagement of, soul in some.

Lord's day, Feb. 9. " Discoursed to my people from the
story of the blind man. Matt. x. 46—52. The word of God
seemed weighty, and powerful upon the assembly at this time,
and made considerable impressions upon many ; several in par-
ticular, who have generally been remarkably stupid and car less
under the means of grace, were now awakened, and wept affec-
tionately. The most earnest attention, as well as tenderness and
affection, appeared in the audience universally.

"Baptized three persons; two adults, and one child. The
adult?, I have reason to hope, were both truly pious. There was
considerable melting in the assembly, while I was discoursing par-
ticularly to the persons, and administering the ordinance. God
has been pleased to own and bless the administration of this as
well as of his other ordinances among the Indians. There are
some here, who have been powerfully awakened at seeing others
baptized ; and some, who have obtamed relief and comfort, just in
the season when this ordinance has been administered.

"Toward night catechised. God made this a powerful season
to some. There were many affected. Former convictions appear-
ed to be powerfully revived. There was likewise one, who had
been a vile drunkard, remarkably awakened. He appeared to be
in great anguish of soul, wept, and trembled, and continued to do
so till near midnight. There was also a poor heavy-laden soul,
who had been long under spiritual distress, as constant and press-
ing as I ever saw, who was now brought to a comfortable calm,
and seemed to be bowed and reconciled to the divine sovereignty,
and told me, she now felt and saw, that it was right for God to do
with her as he pleased ; and that her heart felt pleased and satis-

278 MEMOIRS OF BKA1NERD.

fied it should be so ; although of late she had often found her
heart rise and quarrel with God, because he would, if he pleased,
send her to hell after all she had done, or could do to save herself.
She added, that the heavy burden she had lain under was now re-
moved ; that she had tried to recover her concern and distress
again, fearing that the spirit of God was departing from her, and
would leave her wholly careless, but that she could not recover it;
that she felt she never could do any thing to save herself, but must
perish for ever if Christ did not do all for her; that she did not de-
serve he should help her ; and that it would be right if he should
leave her to perish. But Christ would save her though she could
do nothing to save herself, he. and here she seemed to rest."

The Monday after, he set out on a journey to the Forks of
Delaware to visit the Indians there. He performed the journey
under great weakness, and was sometimes exercised with much
pain ; but says nothing of his dejection and melancholy. He ar-
rived at his own house, at the Forks, on Friday. During the
week he appears from his Diary to have enjoyed a sweet compo-
sure of mind, thankfulness (o God for his mercies to him and oth-
ers, resignation to the divine will, and comfort in prayer and reli-
gious conversation. At the same time his heart was drawn out af-
ter God and affected with a sense of his own barrenness, as well
as with the fulness and freeness of divine grace.

" Forks of Delaware, February, 1746.

Lord's Day, February 16. "Knowing that numbers of the In-
dians in these parts were obstinately set against Christianity ; and
that some of them had refused to hear me preach in times past; I
thought it might be proper and beneficial to the Christian inter-
est, here, to have a number of my religious people from Cross-
weeksung with me, to converse with them about religious mat-
ters ; hoping it might be a means to convince them of the truth
and importance of Christianity, to see and hear some of their own
nation discoursing of divine things, and manifesting earnest desires
that others might be brought out of heathenish darkness, as them-
selves were. For this purpose I selected half a dozen of the most
serious and intelligent of those Indians, and having brought them to
the Forks of Delaware, I this day met with them and the Indians
of this place. Numbers of the latter probably could not have
been prevailed upon to attend this meeting, had it not been for
these religious Indians, who accompanied me hither, and preached
to them. Some of those who had in times past been extremely

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 279

averse to Christianity, now behaved soberly ; and some others
laughed and mocked. However, the word of God fell with such
weight and power, that numbers seemed to be stunned, and ex-
pressed a willingness to hear me again of these matters.

" Afterwards prayed with, and made an address to the white
people present; and could not but observe some visible effects of'
the word, such as tears and sobs among them. After public wor-
ship, spent some time, and took pains to convince those that
mocked, of the truth and importance of what I had been insisting
upon ; and so endeavored to awaken their attention to divine
truths. Had reason to think, from what I observed then and after-
wards, that my endeavours took considerable effect upon one of
the worst of them.

" Those few Indians then present, who used to be my hearers
in these parts; some having removed hence to Crossweeksung;
seemed somewhat kindly disposed toward me, and glad to see me
again. They had been so much attacked, however, by some of
the opposing Pagans, that they were almost ashamed or afraid to
manifest their friendship.

Feb. 17. "After having spent much time in discoursing to the
In ians in their respective houses, I got them together and repeated
and inculcated what I had before taught them. Afterwards discoursed
to them from Acts viii. 5 — 8. A divine influence seemed to attend
the word. Several of the Indians here appeared to be somewhat
awakened, and manifested earnest tears and sobs. My people of
Crossweeksung continued with them day and night repeating and
inculcating the truths I had taught them ; and sometimes prayed
and sung psalms among them ; discoursing with each other in
their hearing, of the great things God had done for them and for
the Indians from whence they came. This seemed, as my peo-
ple told me, to have more effect upon them, than when they di-
rected their discourse immediately to them. — I was refreshed and
encouraged, and found a spirit of prayer in the evening, and ear-
nest longings for the illumination and conversion of these poor In-
dians.

Feb. 18. "Preached to an assembly of Irish people, nearly
fifteen miles distant from the Indians.

Feb. 19. " Preached to the Indians again, after having spent
considerable time in conversing with them more privately. There
appeared a great solemnity, and some concern and affection among
the Indians belonging to these parts, as well as a sweet melting
among those who came with me. Numbers of the Indians here
seemed to have their prejudices and aversion to Christianity re-
moved; and appeared well disposed and inclined to hear the

280 MEMOliW OF I3RAINERD.

word of God. My heart was comforted and refreshed, and
my soul filled with longings for the conversion of these poor In-
dians.

Feb. 20. " Preached to a small assembly of High Dutch peo-
ple, who had seldom heard the gospel preached, and were some of
them at least very ignorant; but numbers of them have lately been
put upon an inquiry after the way of salvation with thoughtfulness.
They gave wonderful attention; and some of them were much af-
fected under ihe word, and afterwards said, as I was informed, that
they never had been so much enlightened about the way of salva-
tion in their whole lives before. They requested me to tarry with
th m, or come again and preach to them. It grieved me that I
could not comply with their request. I could not but be affected
with their circumstances; for thev were as " sheep not hnving a
shepherd," and some of them appeared under some degree of dis-
tress for sin ; standing in peculiar need of the assistance of an ex-
perienced spiritual guide

" God was pleased to support and refresh my spirits, by afford-
ing me assistance this day, and so hopeful a prospect of success. I
returned home rejoicing, and blessing the name of the Lord ; found
freedom and sweetness afterward in secret prayer, and had my
soul drawn ont for dear friends. Ob how blessed a thing it is to
labour for God faithfulh, and with encouragement of success!
Blessed be the Lord for ever and ever for the assistance and com-
fort granted this day !

Feb. 2L Preached to a number of people, many of them Low
Dutch. Several of the fore-mentioned High Dutch people at-
tended the sermon, though eight or ten miles distant from their
houses. Numbers of the Indians also belonging to these parts
came of their own accord with my people from Crossweeksung, to
the meeting. — There were two in particular, who, though the last
Sabbath they opposed and ridiculed Christianity, now behaved so-
berly. May the present encouraging appearances continue!

" My soul was refreshed and comforted ; and I could not but
bless God, who had enabled me in some good measure to be
faithful the day past. Oh how sweet it is to be spent and worn
out for God.

Feb. 22. "Preached to the Indians. They appeared more
free from prejudice and more cordial to Christianity than before ;
and some of them appeared affected with divine truths. My spir-
its were much supported, though my bodily strength was much wast-
ed. Oh that God would be gracious to the souls of these poor
Indians !

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 28J

M God has been very gracious to me this week. He has ena-
bled me to preach every day • and has given me some assistance
and encouraging prospect of success in almost every sermon.—
Blessed be his name! Several of the white people have been
Awakened this week ; and numbers of the Indians much cured of
prejudices and jealousies, which they had conceived against Chris-
tianity, and seem to be really awakened.

Lord's day, Feb. 23. " Preached to the Indians from John
vi. 35 — 37, After public service discoursed particularly with sev-
eral of them, and invited them to go down to Crossweeksung and
tarry there at least for some time ; knowing that they would then
be U-ee from the scoffs and temptations of the opposing Pagans, as
well as in the way of hearing divine truths discoursed of both in
public and private. Obtained a promise of some of them that
they would speedily pay us a visit, and attend some farther instruc-
tions. They seemed to be considerably enlightened, and much
freed from their prejudices against Christianity. But it is much to
be feared that their prejudices will revive again, unless they can
enjoy the means of instruction herb, or be removed when they may
be under such advantages, and out of the way of their Pagan ac-
quaintances."

The next day Brainerd left the Forks of Delaware to return to
Crossweeksung, and spent the whole week till Saturday in his
journey. He preached on the way every day except one; and
was several times greatly assisted, and had much inward comfort

and earnest longings to fill up all his time in the service of God.

He utters such expressions as these after preaching : " Oh that I
may be enabled to plead the cause of God faithfully to my dying
moment. Oh how sweet it would be to spend myself wholly for
God, and in his cause, and to be freed from selfish motives in my;
labours."

Crossweeksung, March, 1746.

March 1. " Catechised in my ordinary method. Was pleased
and refreshed to see them answer the questions proposed to them
with such remarkable readiness, discretion and knowledge. To-
ward the close of my dscourse divine truths made considerable
impressions upon the audience, and produced tears and sobs in
some under concern; and more especially a sweet and humble
melting in several, who, I have reason to hope, were truly gra-
cious.

282 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Lord's day, March 2. » Preached from John xv. 16. The
assembly appeared not so lively in their attention as usual, nor so
much affected with divine truths in general as has been common
Some of my people who went up to the Forks of Delaware with
me, beino- now returned, were accompanied by two of the Indians
belonging to the Forks, who had promised me a speedy visit.
May the Lord meet with them here. They can scarcely go into
a house now but they will meet with christian conversation,
whereby it is to be hoped they may be both instructed and awa-

Jrpjj f*Q t

" Discoursed to the Indians again in the afternoon, and observ-
ed among them some animation and engagedness in divine service,
though not equal to what has often appeared here. I know of no
assembly of christians, where there seems to be so much of the
presence of God, where brotherly love so much prevails, and
where I should take so much delight in the public worship of God
in general, as in my own congregation; although not more than
nine months ago, they were worshipping devils and dumb idols
under the power of Pagan darkness and superstition. Amazing
change this ! effected by nothing less than divine power and grace.
This is the doing of the Lord, and it is justly marvellous in our
eyes."

The four next days were spent in great bodily weakness, but he
speaks of some seasons of considerable inward comfort.

March 5. " Spent some time just at evening in prayer, sing-
ins, and discoursing to my people upon divine things ; and ob-
served some agreeable tenderness and affection among them. —
Their present situation is so compact and commodious, that they
are easily and quickly called together with only the sound of a
conk-sbeil, (a shell like that of a periwinkle,) so that they have
frequent opportunities of attending religious exercises publicly. —
This seems to be a great means under God of keeping alive the
impressions of divine things in their minds.

March 6. " I walked aione in the evening, and enjoyed sweet-
ness and comfort in prayer beyond what I have of late enjoyed.
My soul rejoiced in my pilgrim state ; and I was delighted with
the thoughts of labouring and enduring hardness for God; felt
some longing desires to preach the gospel to dear immortal souls ;
and confided in God, that he would be with me in my work, and
that he never would leave nor forsake"* to the end of my race.
Oh may I obtain mercy of God to be faithful to my dying mo-
ment !

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 283

March 7. " In the afternoon went on with my work with free-
dom and cheerfulness; God assisting me ; and enjoyed comfort in
the evening.

March 8. " Catechised in the evening. My people answered
the questions proposed to them well. I can perceive their knowl-
edge in religion increases daily. And, what is still more desira-
ble, the divine influence, which has been so remarkable among
them, appears still to continue in some good measure. The divine
presence seemed to be in the assembly this evening. Some, who
I have good reason to think are christians indeed, were melted
with a sense of divine goodness and their own barrenness and in
gratitude, and seemed to hate themselves, as one of them after-
wards expressd it. Convictions also appeared to be revived in
several instances ; and divine truths were attended with such influ-
ence upon the assembly in general, that it might justly be called
an evening of divine power.

Lord's day, March 9. " Preached from Luke x. 38—42.
The word of God was attended with power and energy upon the
audience. Numbers were affected, and concerned to obtain the
one thing needful. Several, who have given good evidence of
being truly gracious, were much affected with a want of spirituali-
ty, and saw the need they stood in of growing in grace. The
greater part of those, who had been under any impressions of di-
vine things in times past, seemed now to have those impressions

revived.

" In the afternoon proposed to have catechised in my usual
method. But, while we were engaged in the first prayer in the
Indian language, as usual, a great part of the assembly was so much
moved and affected with divine things, that I thought it seasonable
and proper to omit the proposing of questions for that time, and to
insist upon the most practical truths. I accordingly did so; mak-
ing a further improvement of the pa:Sage of scripture on which I
had discoursed in the former part of the day. There^ appeared to
be a powerful divine influence in the congregation. Several, who,
as I have reason to think, are truly pious, were so deeply affected
with a sense of (heir own barrenness, and their unworthy treatment
of the blessed Redeemer, that they looked on him as pierced by
themselves, and mourned, yea some of them were in bitterness as
for a first-born.

"Some poor awakened sinners, also, appeared to be I iiguish
of soul to obtain an interest in Christ ; so that there waV a great
mourning in the assemblv : many heavy groans, sobs and tears !
and one'or two, newly come among us, were considerably awak-
ened.

£64 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

" Methinks it would have refreshed the heart of any, who truly
love Zion's interests, to have been in the midst of this divine influ-
ence, and seen the effects of it upon saints and sinners. The
place of divine worship appeared both solemn and sweet; and
was so endeared by a display of the divine presence and grace,
that those who had any relish for divine ibings ronld not but cry,
"How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord of Hosts!" After
public worship was over, numbers came to my house ; where we
sang and discoursed of divine tilings ; and the presence of God
seemed here also to be in the midst of us.

" While we were singing there was one individual, the woman
mentioned in my journal of February 9, who, I may venture to
say, if 1 may be allowed to say so much of any person I ever saw,
was " filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory ;" and could
not but burst forth in prayer and praises to God before us all,
with many tears; crying sometimes in English, and sometimes in
Indian, " O blessed Lord! do come, do come! O do take me
away; do let me die, and go to Jesus Christ! I am afraid if I live
I shall sin again. O do let me die now ! O dear Jesus, do come!
I cannot stay, I cannot stay ! O how can Hive in this world; do
take my soul away from this sinful place! O let me never sin any
more! O what shall I do, what shall I do, dear Jesus ! O dear
Jesus! In this ecstacy she continued some time, uttering these
and similar expressions incessantly. The grand argument she
used with God to take her away immediately was, that "if she liv-
ed, she should sin against him." When she had a little recovered
herself, I asked her, if Christ was now sweet to her sotd ? Where-
upon, turning to me with tears in her eyes, and with all the tokens
of deep humility I ever saw in any person, she said, " I have ma-
ny times heard you speak of the goodness and the sweetness of
Christ, that he was better than all the world. ButO I knew noth-
ing what you meant. I never'believed you, I never believed you!
But now I know it is true;" or words to that effect. I answered,
" And do you see enough in Christ for the greatest of sinners ?"
She replied, " O enough, enough for all the sinners in the world,
if they would but come." When I asked her, " If she could not
tell them of the goodness of Christ." Turning herself about to
some Christless souls, who stood by, and were much affected, she
said, " Oh there is enough in Christ for you if you would but
come. O strive, strive to give up your hearts to him," &tc. On
hearing something of the glory of heaven mentioned, that there
was no sin in that world ; she again fell into the same ecstacy of
joy and desire of Christ's coming ; repeating her former expres-
sions, u O dear Lord, do let me go ! O what shall I do ; what

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 235

shall 1 do. I want to go to Christ. I cannot live. O do let me
die," &c.

She continued in this sweet frame for more than two hours, be-
fore she was able to get home. I am very sensible that there may
be great joys, arising even to an ecstacy, where there is still, no
substantial evidence of their being well grounded. But in the
present case, there seemed to be no evidence wanting in order to
prove this joy to be divine ; either in regard to its preparatives, at-
tendants, or consequents.

Of all the persons, whom 1 have seen under spiritual exercise,
I scarcely ever saw one appear more bowed and broken under con-
victions of ssn and misery, or what is usually called a preparatory
work, than this woman ; nor scarcely any, who seemed to have a
greater acquaintance with her own heart than she had. She would
frequently complain to me of the hardness and rebellion of her
heart. Would tell me that her heart rose and quarrelled with
God, when she thought he would do with her as he pleased, and
send her to hell, notwithstanding her prayers, good frames, &c.
and that her heart was not willing to come to Christ for salvation,
but tried every where else for help. As she seemed to be re-
markably sensible of her stubbornness and contrariety to God,
under conviction, so she appeared to be no less remarkably bowed
and reconciled to his sovereignty, before she obtained any relief or
comfort; something 'of which I have noticed in my journal of
Feb. 9. Since that time she has seemed constantly to breathe the
temper and spirit of the new creature; crying after Christ, not
through fear of hell as before, but with strong desires after him as
her only satisfying portion; and has many times wept and sobbed
bitterly because, as she apprehended, she did not and could not
love him. When I have sometimes asked her why she appeared
so sorrowful, and whether it was because she was afraid of hell ;
she would answer " No, 1 be not distressed about that ; but my
heart is so wicked, I cannot love Christ ;" and thereupon burst in-
to tears. But although this has been the habitual frame of her
mind for several weeks together, so that the exercise of grace ap-
peared evident to others ; yet she seemed wholly insensible to ir
herself, and never had any remarkable comfort and sensible satis-
faction until this evening.

This sweet and surprising ecstacy, appeared to spring from a
true spiritual discovery of the glory, ravishing beauty, and excel-
lency of Christ; and not from any gross imaginary notions of hi?
human nature, such as that of seeing him in such a place, or pas-
ture, as hanging on the cross, as bleeding and dying, as gent!*

286 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

smiling, and the like ; which delusions some have hecn carried
away with. Nor did it rise from sordid selfish apprehensions of
her having any henefit whatsoever conferred on her; but from a
view of his personal excellency and transcendant loveliness ;
which drew forth those vehement desires of enjoying him which
she now manifested, and made her long "to be absent from the
body, that she might be present with the Lord."

The attendants of this ravishing comfort were such, as abun-
dantly discovered its spring to be divine; and that it was truly
" a joy in the Holy Ghost." Now she viewed divine truths as
living realities, and could say, " 1 know these things are so ; I feel
that they are true" ! Now her soul was resigned to the divine
will in the most tender point ; so that when I said to her, " What
if God should take away your husband* from you, who was then
very sick, how do you think you could bear that ?" She replied,
" He belongs to God, and not to me ; he may do with him just as
he pleases." Now she had the most tender sense of the evil of sin,
and discovered the utmost aversion to it, and longing to die, that
she might be delivered from it. Now she could freely trust her
all with God for time and eternity. When I questioned her,
" How she would be willing to die and leave her little infant;
and what she thought would become of it in that case ?" she an-
swered, " God will take care of it." Now she appeared to have
the most humbling sense of her own meanness and unworthiness,
her weakness and inability to preserve herself from sin, and to per-
severe in the way of holiness, crying, "If I live I shall sin." I
then thought that I had never seen such an appearance of ecstasy
and humility meeting in any one person in all my life before.

"The consequents of this joy are no less desirable and satisfac-
tory than its attendants. She since appears to be a most tender,
broken-hearted, affectionate, devout, and humble Christian ; as
exemplary in life and conversation as any person in my congre-
gation. May she still "grow in grace and in the knowledge of
Christ."

March 10. "Towards night the Indians met together, of their
own accord, and sang, prayed, and discoursed of divine things
among themselves ; at which time there was much affection among
them. Some, who are hopefully gracious, appeared to be melted
with divine things ; and some others seemed much concerned for
their souls. Perceiving their engagement and affection in reli-
gious exercises, I went among them, and prayed, and gave a word
of exhortation ; and observed two or three somewhat affected and
concerned, who scarce ever appeared to be under any religious

* Th? man mentioned in my Journal of January 19.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 287

impressions before. It seemed to be a day and evening of divine
power. Numbers retained tlie warm impressions of divine things
which bad been made upon their minds the day before.

"My soul was refreshed with freedom and enlargement, and, I
hope, the lively exercise of faith in secret prayer this night. My
will was sweetly resigned to the divine will ; my hopes respecting
the enlargement of the kingdom of Christ somewhat raised ; and
I could commit Zion's cause to God as his own."

On Tuesday he speaks of some sweetness and spirituality in
Christian conversation. On Wednesday complains that he enjoy-
ed not much comfort and satisfaction through the day, because
he did but little for God. On Thursday, spent a considerable
lime in company on a special occasion, but in perplexity, because
without salutary religious conversation.

March 14. " Was visited by a considerable number of my
people and spent some time in religious exercises with them.

March 15. "In the evening catechised. My people answered
the questions put to them with surprising readiness and judgment.
There appeared some warmth, and a feeling sense of divine
things among those who I have reason to hope are real Christians,
while I was discoursing upon peace of conscience and joy in the
Holy Ghost. These seemed quickened and enlivened in divine
service, though there was not so much appearance of concern
among those whom I have reason to think in a Christless state."

In the former part of the week following he was very ill, and
under great dejection ; being rendered unserviceable by his illness,
and fearing that he should never be serviceable any more ; and
therefore exceedingly longed for death. But afterwards he was
more encouraged, and life appeared more desirable ; because, as
he says, he "had a little dawn of hope that he might be useful in
the world." In the latter part of this week he was somewhat
relieved of his illness, in the use of means prescribed by his
physician.

Lord's day, March 16. "Preached to my congregation from
Hebrews 2nd, 1 — 3. Divine truths seemed to have some con-
siderable influence upon some of the hearers, and produced ma-
ny tears, as well as heavy sighs and sobs, among those who have
given evidence of being real Christians, and others also. The
impressions made upon the audience appeared in general deep
and heart-affecting ; not superficial noisy and affected.

288 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

"Towards night discoursed again on the Great Salvation.
The word was again attended with some power upon the audience.
Numbers wept affectionately, and to appearance unfeignedly; so
that the Spirit of God seemed to be moving upon the face of the
assembly. Baptized the woman particularly mentioned in my
journal of last Lord's day; who now, as well as then, appeared
to be in a devout, humble, and excellent frame of mind.

" My house being thronged with my people in the evening ; 1
spent the time in religious exercises with them, until my nature
was almost spent. They are so unwearied in religious exercises
and insatiable in their thirsting after Christian knowledge, that I
can sometimes scarcely avoid labouring so as greatly to exhaust
my strength and spirits.

March 19. "Several of the persons who went with me to the
Forks of Delaware in February last, having been detained there
by the dangerous illness of one of their company, returned home
but this day. Whereupon my people generally met together of
their own accord, in order to spend some time in religious exer-
cises; and especially to give thanks to God for his preserving
goodness to those who had been absent from them for several
weeks, and recovering mercy to him who had been sick ; and that
he had now returned them all in safety. As 1 was then absent;
they desired my school-master to assist them in carrying on their
religious solemnity ; who tells me that they appeared engaged and
affectionate in repeated prayer, singing, &ic.

March 22. "Catechised in my usual method in the evening.
My people answered questions to my great satisfaction. There
appeared nothing very remarkable in the assembly, considering
what has been common among us. Although 1 may justly say
the strict attention, the tenderness and affection, the man) tears
and heart affecting sobs, appearing in numbers in the assembly,
would have been very remarkable, were it not that God has made
these things common with us, and even with strangers soon after
their coming among us, from time to time. I am far from think-
ing that every appearanre and particular instance of affection that
has been among us has been truly genuine, and purely from a di-
vine influence. I am sensible of the contrary ; and doubt not
but that there has been some corrupt mixture, some chaff as well
as wheat; especially since religious concern appeared so common
and prevalent here.

Lord^s day. March 23. " There being about fifteen strangers,
adult persons, come among us in the week past, several of whom
had never been in any reli/ious meeting till now ; I thought it
proper to discourse this day in a manner peculiarly suited to their

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. i>tiL>

-■eircum stances and capacities; and accordingly attempted it from
Hosea 13th, 9. " O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself," he. In
the forenoon, I opened, in the plainest manner I could, man's
apostasy and ruined state, after having spoken some things re-
specting the heing and perfections of God, and his creation of
man in a state of uprightness and happiness. In the afternoon,
endeavoured to open the glorious provision which God has made
for the redemption of apostate creatures, by giving his own dear
Son to suffer for them and satisfy divine justice on their behalf.
There was not that affection and concern in the assembly which
has been common among us ; although there was a desirable
attention appearing in general, and even in most of the stran-
gers.

"Near sun-set I felt an uncommon concern upon my mind, es-
pecially for the poor strangers-, that God had so much withheld
his presence and the powerful influence of his Spirit from the as-
sembly in the exercises of the day ; and thereby withheld from
them that degree of conviction which I hoped they might have
had. In this frame I visited several houses and discoursed with
some concern and affection to several persons particularly; but
without much appearance of success, till I came to a house where
■several of the strangers were. There the solemn truths on which
I discoursed appeared to take effect; first upon some children ;
then upon several adult persons who had been somewhat awaken-
ed before; and afterwards upon several of the Pagan strangers.

"I continued my discourse, with some fervency, until almost
every one in the house was melted into tears, and divers wept
aloud, and appeared earnestly concerned to obtain an interest in
Christ. Upon this, numbers soon gathered from all the houses
round about ; and so thronged the place, that we were obliged tore-
move to the house where we usually met for public worship.
The congregation gathering immediately, and many appearing
remarkably affected, I discoursed some time from Luke 19, h, 10.
For the Son of man is come to seek, Stc ; endeavon'ng to open the
mer<-y, compassion, and concern of Christ for lost, helpless, and
undone sinners. There was much visible concern and affection
in the assembly; and I doubt not but that a divine influence ac-
companied what was spoken to the hearts of many. There were
five or six of the strangers, men and women, who appeared to be
considerably awakened; and, in particular, one very rugged
young man, who seemed as if nothing would move him, was
now brought to tremble like the jailor, and weep for a long
time.

29U MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

"The Pagans vvbo were awakened, seemed at once to put off
their savage roughness and Pagan manners, and became sociable,
orderly and humane in their carriage. When they first came, I
exhorted my religious people to take pains with them as they had
done with other strangers from time to time, to instruct them in
Christianity. But when some of them attempted something of
(hat nature, the strangers would soon rise up and walk to other
houses in order to avoid the hearing of such discourses. Where-
upon some of the serious persons agreed to disperse themselves
into the several parts of the settlement; so that wherever the
strangers went, they met with some instructive discourse, and
warm addresses respecting their salvation. But now, there was
no need of using policy in order to get an opportunity of convers-
ing with some of them about their spiritual concerns ; for they
were so far touched with a sense of their perishing state, as made
them voluntarily yield to the closest addresses which were made
them respecting their sin and misery, their need of an acquaintance
with and interest in the great Kedeemer.,

March. zA. "Numbered the Indians, to see how many souls
God had gathered together here since my coming into these parts;
and found there were now about an hundred and thirty persons
together, old and young. Sundry of those, wdio are nay stated
hearers, perhaps to the number of fifteen or tiventy, were absent
at this season. If all had been together, the number would now
have been very considerable ; especially considering how kw
were together at my first coining into this part of the country :
the whole number, then, not amounting to ten persons at that
time.

'; My people were out this day with the design of clearing some
of their land, above fifteen miles distant from this settlement, in
order to their settling there in a compact form, where they might
be under the advantages of attending the public worship of God..
o\' having their children taught in a school, and at the same time
have a conveniency for planting : their land, in the place of our
present residence, being of little or no value for that purpose.
The design of their settling thus in a body, and cultivating their
lands, of which they have done very little in their Pagan state,
beinc of such necessity and importance to their religious interest,
as well as worldly comfort; I thought it proper to call them to-
gether, and shew them the duty of labouring with faithfulness and
industry, and that they must not. now :'be slothful in business/"
as they had ever been in their Pagan state. I endeavoured to
press the importance of their being laborious, diligent, and vigo-
rous in the prosecution of their business; especially at the present

MEMOIRS OF ERAINERD. 291

juncture, the season of planting being now near, in order to their
being in a capacity of living together, and enjoying the means of
grace and instruction. Having given them directions for their
work, which they very much wanted, as well as for their behaviour
in divers respects; I explained, sang, and endeavoured to incul-
cate upon them the 127th Psalm, common metre, Dr. Watt's ver-
sion; and having recommended them, and the design of their
going forth, to God, by prayer with them, I dismissed them to
their business.

"After the Indians were gone to their work, to clear their lands,
I retired by myself, and poured out my soul to God, that he would
smile on their feeble beginnings, and that he would settle an Indian
town, which might be a mountain of holiness. I found my soul
much refreshed in these petitions and much enlarged for Zion's
interest, and for numbers of dear friend> in particular, My sink-
ing spirits were revived and raised ; and I felt animated in the ser-
vice to which God has called me.

" This was the dearest hour I have enjoyed for many days, if
not weeks. I found an encouraging hope that something would
be done for God; and that God would use and help me in his
work. O, how sweet were the thoughts of labouring for God,
when I felt any spirit and courage, and had any hope that I ever
should be succeeded.

"In the evening, read and expounded to those of my people
who were yet at home, and to the strangers newly come, the sub-
stance of the 3d chapter of the Acts. Numbers seemed to melt
under the word ; especially while I was discoursing upon ver. 19.
"Repent ye, therefore, and be converted," &c. Several of the
strangers also were affected. When I asked them afterwards,
Whether they did not now feel that their hearts were wicked as 1
had taught them; one of them replied, "Yes, she felt it now."
Although, before she came here, upon hearing that I taught the
Indians that their hearts were all bad by nature, and needed to be
changed and made good by the power of God ; she had said,
" Her heart was not wicked, and she had never done any thing
that was bad in her life." This, indeed, seems to be the case
with them, I think universally, in their Pagan State. They seem
to have no consciousness of sin and guilt, unless they can charge
themselves with some gross acts of sin contrary to the commands
of the second table.''''

The next day his schoolmaster was taken sick with a pleurisy,
and he spent a great part of the remainder of this week in at-
tending him. In his weak state, this was an almost overbearing

292 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

burden; he being obliged constantly to wait upon him from day
to day, and to lie on the floor at night. Hi? spirits sunk in a
considerable degree, with his bodily strength, under this burden.

March 27. "Discoursed to a number of my people in one of
their houses in a more private maimer. Inquired particularly
into their spiritual states, in order to see what impressions they
were under. Laid before them the marks of a regenerate, as
well as of an unregenenite state: and endeavoured to suit and
direct my discourse to them severally, according as I apprehend-
ed their states to be. There was a considerable [lumber gather-
ed together before 1 finished my discourse ; and several seemed
much affected, while I was urging the necessity and infinite im-
portance of getting into a renewed state. I find particular and
close dealing with souls in private, is often very successful.

March 29. " In the evening, catechised, as usual upon Satur-
day. Treated upon the benefits which believers receive from
Christ at death. The questions were answered with great readi-
ness and propriety ; and those who I have reason to think, are
the dear people of God, were in general sweetly melted. There
appeared such a liveliness and vigour in their attendance upon
the word of God, and such eagerness to be made partakers of
the benefits mentioned ; that they seemed not only to be 'looking
for,' but 'hasting to, the coming of the day of God.' Divine
truths seemed to distil upon the audience with a gentle, but melt-
ing efficacy, as the refreshing 'showers upon the new mown
grass.' The assembly in general, as well as those who appear
truly religious, were affected with some brief accounts of the
blessedness of the godly at death ; and most of them then dis-
covered an affectionate inclination to cry, ' Let me die the death
of the righteous, and let my last end be like his:' although many
were not duly engaged to obtain the change of heart that is ne-
cessary to that blessed end.

Lord? 's day . March 30. "Discoursed from Matt. xxv. 31 — 40.
There was a very considerable moving, and affectionate melting,
in the assembly. 1 hope that there were some real, deep, and
abiding impressions of divine things made upon the minds of ma-
ny. There was one aged man, newly come among us, who ap-
peared to be considerably awakened, ' that never was touched
with any concern for his soul before. In the evening, catechis-
ed. There was not that tenderness and melting engagement
among God's people, which appeared the evening before, and
many other times. They answered the questions distinctly, and
well, and were devout and attentive in divine service.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 293

March 31. "Called my people together, as I had done the
Alonday evening before, and discoursed to them again on the ne-
cessity and importance of labouring industriously in order to their
living together, and enjoying the means of grace, &c. Having
engaged in a solemn prayer to God among them for a blessing
upon their attempts, I dismissed them to their work. Numbers
of" them, both men and women, seemed to oiler themselves wil-
lingly to this service; and some appeared affectionately concern-
ed that God might go with them, and begin their little town for
them ; that by his blessing it might be a place comfortable for
them and theirs, with regard both to procuring the necessaries
of life, and to attending on the worship of God.

" Towards night, I enjoyed some sweet meditations on these
words: 'It is good for me to draw near to God.' My soul, I
think, had some sweet sense of what is intended in those words.'*

The next day he was extremely busy in taking care of the
school-master, and in some other necessary affairs, which great-
ly diverted him from what he looked upon as his proper busi-
ness; but yet he speaks of comfort and refreshment at some
time of the day.

Aprils. "I was somewhat exercised with a spiritual frame
of mind : but was a little reli-eved and refreshed in the eve-
ning with meditation alone in the woods. But alas! my days
pass away as the chaff! it is but little I do, or can do, that
turns to any account ; and it is my constant misery and bur7
den, that I am so fruitless in the vineyard of the Lord. Oh
that I were a pure spirit ; that I might be active for God ! This,
I think, more than any thing else, makes me long that this
corruptible might put on incorruption, and this mortal put on
immortality. God deliver me from clogs, fetters, and a body of
death, which impede my service from him."

The next day he complains bitterly of some exercises by cor-
ruption, which he found in his own heart.

April A. " Spent the most of the day in writing on Revelation
xxii. 17 — 'And whosoever will,' &c. Enjoyed some freedom
and encouragement in my work ; and found some comfort in
prayer.

April 5. "Catechised in the evening. There appeared to be
some affection and fervent engagement in divine service through
the assembly in general ; especially towards the conclusion of
my discourse. After public worship, a number of those, who
T have reason to think, are truly religious, come to my house.

291 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

and seemed eager for some farther entertainment upon divine
things. While I was conversing with them about their scriptural
exercises : observing to them, that God's work in the hearts of
all his children, was for substance the same ; and that their trials
and temptations were also alike ; and shewing the obligations
such were under to love one another in a peculiar manner ; they
seemed to be melted into tenderness and affection towards each
other. I thought that that particular token of their being the
disciples of Christ, viz. of their having love one towards another,
had scarcely ever appeared more evident than at this time.

After public worship, a number of my dear Christian Indians
came to my house ; with whom I felt a sweet union of soul. My
heart was knit to them ; and I cannot say I have felt such a sweet
and fervent love to the brethren, for some time past. I saw in
them appearances of the same love. This gave me somewhat
of a view of the heavenly state ; and particularly of that part of
the happiness of heaven which consists in the communion of
saints ; and this was affecting to me.

Lord's day, April 6. " Preached from Matt. vii. 21—23. Not
every one that suith unto me, Lord, Lord, &c. There were con-
siderable effects of the word visible in the audience, and such as
were very desirable; an earnest attention, a great solemnity, many
tears and heavy sighs, which were modestly suppressed in a con-
siderable measure, and appeared unaffected and without any inde-
cent commotion of the passions. Numbers of the religious peo-
people were put upon serious and close examination of their spir-
itual state, by hearing that 'not every one that saith to Christ
Lord, Lord, shall enter into his kingdom.' Some expressed fears
lest they had deceived themselves, and taken up a false hope, be-
cause they found they had done so little of the will of his Father
who is in heaven.

"There was one man brought under very great and pressing
eoncern for his soul ; which appeared more especially after his
retirement from public worship. That, which, be says, gave him
his great uneasiness, was, not so much any particular sin, as that
he had never done the will of God at all, but had sinned continu-
ally, and so had no claim to the kingdom of Heaven. In the af-
ternoon, I opened to them the discipline of Christ in his Church,
and the method in which offenders are to be dealt with. At which
time the religious people were much affected; especially when
they heard that the offender continuing obstinate, must finally be
esteemed and treated 'as an Heathen man,' and Pagan, who has
no part nor lot among God's visible people. Of this they seem-
ed to have the most awful apprehensions ; a state of Heathenism.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 29£

out of which they were so lately hrought, appearing very dreadful
to them.

"After public worship, I visited several houses, to see how
they spent the remainder of the sabbath, and to treat with them
solemnly on the great concerns of their souls. The Lord seem-
ed to smile upon my private endeavours, and to make these par-
ticular and personal addresses more effectual upon some, than my
public discourses.

April 7. "Discoursed to my people in the evening, from 1.
Cor. xi. 23 — 26. ' For I have received of the Lord,'' &,c. En-
deavoured to open to them the institution, nature, and ends of the
Lord's Supper, as well as of the qualifications and preparations
necessary to the right participation of that ordinance. Numbers
appeared much affected with the love of Christ, manifested in his
making this provision for the comfort of his people, at a season
when himself was just entering upon his sharpest sufferings."

On Tuesday he went to the meeting of the Presbytery ap-
pointed at Elizabethtown. In his way thither he enjoyed some
sweet meditations : but after he came there, he was, as he expres-
ses it, 'very vapoury and melancholy, and under an awful gloom
which oppressed his mind.' This continued until Saturday eve-
ning; when he began to have some relief and encouragement.
He spent the Sabbath at Staten Island ; where he preached to an
assembly of Dutch and English, and enjoyed considerable re-
freshment and comfort, both in public and private. In the eve-
ning:, he returned to Elizabethtown.

April 14. "My spirits, this day, were raised and refreshed,
and my mind composed; so that I was in a comfortable frame of
soul most of the day. In the evening, my head was clear, my
mind serene ; I enjoyed sweetness in secret prayer and medita-
tion on Psalm lxxiii. 28. ' But it is good for me to draw near to
God;' &tc. O how free, how comfortable, cheerful, and yet sol-
emn, do I feel when I am in a good measure freed from those
damps and melancholy glooms under which I often labour. Bles-

was

sed be the Lord, I find myself relieved in this respect.

April 15. "My soul longed for more spirituality; and it
my burden that I could do no more for God. O, my barrenness
in my daily affliction and heavy load! O how precious is time ,
and how it pains me to see it slide away, while I do so little to any
good purpose. O that God would make me more fruitful and

spiritual.

296 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

The next day he speaks of his being almost overwhelmed with
vapoury disorders : but yet not so, as wholly to destroy the com-
posure of his mind.

April 17. " Enjoyed some comfort in prayer, some freedom
in meditation, and composure in my studies. Spent some time
in writing in the forenoon. In the afternoon spent some time in
eonversation with several dear ministers. In the evening preach-
ed from Psalm lxxiii. 28. " But it is good for me to draw near
to God." God helped me to feel the truths of my texts both in
the first prayer and in the sermon. I was enabled to pour out
my soul to God with great freedom, fervency and affection ; and,
blessed be the Lord, it was a comfortable season to me. I was
enabled to speak with tenderness, and yet with faithfulness : and
divine truths seemed to fall with weight and influence upon the
hearers. My heart was melted for the dear assembly ; and I
loved every body in it ; and scarcely ever felt more love to im-
mortal souls in my life. My soul cried, ' Oh that the dear crea-
tures might be saved ! Oh that God would have mercy upon
them !' "

He seems to have been in a very comfortable frame of mind
the two next days.

Lord's day, April 20.* " Discoursed, both forenoon and af-
ternoon, from Luke xxiv. ; explaining most of the chapter, and
making remarks upon it. There was a desirable attention in the
audience ; though there was not so much appearance of affection
and tenderness among them as had been usual. Our meeting
was very full; there being sundry strangers present who had nev-
er been with us before. Enjoyed some freedom, and, I hope,
exercise of faith, in prayer in the morning, especially when 1
came to pray for Zion. I was free from that gloomy discourage-
ment which so often oppresses my mind; and my soul rejoiced in
the hopes of Zion's prosperity, and the enlargement of the dea^
kingdom of the great Redeemer. O that his kingdom might
come !

•• In the evening chatechised. My people answered the ques-
tions proposed to them readily and distinctly; and I could per-
ceive that they advanced in their knowledge of the principles of
Christianity. There appeared an affectionate melting in the as-
sembly at this time. Several, who I trust are truly religious,
were refreshed and quickened, and seemed by. their discourse

* This clay he entered the 29th year of his age.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 297

and behaviour after public worship to have their " hearts knit
together in love." This was a sweet and blessed season, like
many others with which my poor people have been favored in
months past. God has caused this little fleece to be repeatedly
wet with the blessed dew of his divine grace, while all the earth
around has been comparatively dry.

April 21. " Was composed and comfortable in mind most of
the day ; and was mercifully freed from those gloomy damps
with which I am frequently exercised. Had freedom and comfort
in prayer several times; and especially had some rising hopes of
Zion's enlargement and prosperity. Oh how refreshing were
those hopes to my soul ! Oh that the kingdom of the dear Lord
might come. Oh (hat the poor Indians might quickly be gather-
ed in great numbers !

April 22. " My mind was remarkably free this day from mel-
ancholy damps and glooms, and animated in my work. I found
such fresh vigour and resolution in the service of God, that the
mountains seemed to become a plain before me. O blessed be
God for an interval of refreshment and fervent resolution in my
Lord's work! In the evening, my soul was refreshed in secret
prayer, and my heart drawn out for divine blessings ; especially
for the church of God, and his interest among my own people,
and for dear friends in remote places. Oh that Zion might pros-
per and precious souls be brought home to God!"

In this comfortable fervent frame of mind he remained the two
next days.

April 25. " Of late I apprehended that a number of persons
in my congregation were proper subjects of the ordinance of the
Lord's supper, and that it might be seasonable speedily to admin-
ister it to them ; and having taken advice of some of the reverend
correspondents in this solemn affair; I accordingly proposed and
appointed the next Lord's day, with leave of divine providence,
for the administration of this ordinance ; and this day as prepara-
tory thereto was set apart for solemn fasting and prayer.

" The design of this preparatory solemnity was to implore the
blessing of God upon our renewing covenant with him, and with
one another, to walk together in the fear of God, in love and
christian fellowship, and to entreat that his presence might be
with us in our designed approach to his table ; as well as to hum-
ble ourselves before God on account of the apparent withdraw-
ment, at least in a measure of that blessed influence, which has
been so prevalent upon persons of all ages among us ; as also on
account of the rising appearance of carelessness, and vanity, and

2j98 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

vice among some, who some time since appeared to be touched
and affected with divine truths, and brought to some sensibility of
their miserable and perishing state by nature. It was also design-
ed that we might importunately pray for the peaceable settle-
ment of the Indians together in a body ; that they might be a com-
modious congregation for the worship of God; and that God
would blast and defeat all the attempts that were, or might be,
made against that pious design.*

" The solemnity was observed and seriously attended, not only
by those who proposed at the Lord's table, but by the whole
congregation universally. In the former part of the day, I en-
deavoured to open to my people the nature and design of a fast,
as I had attempted more briefly to do before, and to instruct them
in the duties of such a solemnity. In the afternoon I insisted up-
on the special reasons there were for our engaging in these sol-
emn exercises at this time ; both in regard of the need we stood
in of divine assistance, in order to a due preparation for that sa-
cred ordinance upon which some of us were proposing, with leave
of divine Providence speedily to attend ; and also in respect of
the manifest decline of God's work here, as to the effectual con-
viction and conversion of sinners ; there having been few of late
deeply awakened out of a state of security. The worship of God
was attended with great solemnity and reverence, with much ten-
derness and many tears, by those who appeared to be truly re-
ligious ; and there was some appearance of divine power upon
those who had been awakened some time before, and who were
still under concern.

" After repeated prayer, and attendance upon the word of God,
I proposed to the religious people, with as much brevity and
plainness as I could, the substance of the doctrine of the christian
faith, as I had formerly done previous to their baptism ; and had
their renewed cheerful assent to it. I then led them to a solemn
renewal of their baptismal covenant ; wherein they had explicitly
and publicly given up themselves to God the Father, Son and
Holy Ghost, avouching him to be their God ; and at the same
time renouncing their heathenish vanities, their idolatrous and
superstitious practices ; solemnly engaging to take the Word of
God, so far as it was or might be made known to them, for the
rule of their lives : promising to walk together in love, to watch

* There was at this time a terrible clamour raised against the Indians in various
places in the country, and insinuations as though I was training them up to cut peo-
ple's throats. Numbers wished to have them banished from these parts and some
gave out great words in order to fright and deter them from settling upon the best
and most convenient tract of their own lands ; threatening to trouble them in the
law ; pretending a claim to these lauds themselves, although never purchased of the
Indians.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 299

over themselves and one another, to lead lives of seriousness and
devotion, and to discharge the relative duties incumbent on them
respectively, &c. This solemn transaction was attended with
much gravity and seriousness ; and at the same time with the ut-
most readiness, freedom and cheerfulness ; and a religious union
and harmony of soul seemed to crown the whole solemnity. I
could not but think in the evening, that there had been manifest
tokens of the divine presence with us in all the several services
of the day ; though it was also manifest that there was not that
concern among Christless souls which has often appeared there.

April 26. " Toward noon prayed with a dying child, and gave
a word of exhortation to the bystanders to prepare for death ;
which seemed to take effect upon some. In the afternoon dis-
coursed to my people from Matthew xxvi. 26 — 30 of the author,
the nature, and designs of the Lord's supper; and endeavoured
to point out the worthy receivers of that ordinance.

" The religious people were affected, and even melted, with
divine truths, — with a view of the dying love of Christ. Several
others, who had been for some months under convictions of their
perishing state, appeared now to be much moved with concern,
and afresh engaged in seeking after an interest in Christ ; al-
though I cannot say that the word of God appeared so quick and
powerful, so sharp and piercing to the assembly as it had some-
times formerly done. Baptized two adult persons ; both serious
and exemplary in their lives, and I hope truly religious. One of
them was the man particularly mentioned in my journal of the 6th
instant ; who, although he was greatly distressed, because " he
had never done the will of God," has since, it is hoped, obtained
spiritual comfort upon good grounds.

" In the evening I catechised those, who were designed to par-
take of the Lord's supper the next day, upon the institution, na-
ture and end of that ordinance ; and had abundant satisfaction
respecting their doctrinal knowledge and fitness in that respect
for an attendance upon it. They likewise appeared in general
to have an affecting sense of the solemnity of this sacred ordi-
nance, and to be humbled under a sense of their own unworthi-
ness to approach to God in it ; and to be earnestly concerned
that they might be duly prepared for an attendance upon it. —
Their hearts were full of love one toward another, and that was
the frame of mind which they seemed concerned to maintain and,
bring to the Lord's table with them. In the singing and prayer
after catechising, there appeared an agreeable tenderness and
melting among them ; and such tokens of brotherly love and af-
fection, as would even constrain one to say " Lord, it is good to
be here ;" it is good to dwell where such an heavenly influence
distils.

300 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Lord's day, April 27. "Preached from Tit. ii, 14, "Who
gave himself for us," &c. The word of God, at this time, was
attended with some appearance of divine power upon the assem-
bly; so that the attention and gravity of the audience were re-
markable ; and especially towards the conclusion of the exercise,
divers persons were much affected. Administered the sacrament
of the Lord's supper to twenty three persons of the Indians, the
number of the men and women being nearly equal; several oth-
ers, to the number of Jive or six, being now absent at the Forks
of Delaware, who would otherwise have communed with us.
The ordinance was attended with great solemnity, and with a
most desirable tenderness and affection. It was remarkable that
in the season of the performance of the sacramental actions, es->
pecially in the distribution of the bread, they seemed to be affect-
ed in a most lively manner, as if Christ had been really crucified
before them. The words of the institution, when repeated and
enlarged upon in the season of the administration, seemed to
meet with the same reception, to be entertained with the same
free and full belief and affectionate engagement of soul, as if the
Lord Jesus Christ himself had been present, and bad personally
spoken to them. The affections of the communicants, although
considerably raised, were, notwithstanding, agreeably regulated
and kept within proper bounds. So that there was a sweet, gen-
tle, and affectionate melting without any indecent or boisterous
commotion of the passions.

" Having rested sometime after the administration of the sa-
crament, being extremely tired with the necessary prolixity of
the work, I walked from house to house, and conversed particu-
larly with most of the communicants, and found they had been al-
most universally refreshed at the Lord's table, " as with new
wine." Never did 1 see such an appearance of Christian love
among any people in all my life. It was so remarkable, that one
might well have cried with an agreeable surprise, " Behold how
they love one another." I think there could be no greater to-
kens of mutual affection among the people of God, in the early
days of Christianity, than what now appeared here. The sight
was so desirable, and so well becoming the gospel, that nothing
less could be said of it than that it was " the doing of the Lord,"
the genuine operation of Him, " who is Love."

" Toward night discoursed again on the forementioned text,
Tit. ii. 14; and insisted on the immediate end and design of
Christ's death : viz. That he might redeem his people from all
iniquity, &c. This appeared to be a season of divine power
among us. The religious people were much refreshed, and seem-
ed remarkably tender and affectionate, full of love, joy, and

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 30 1

peace, and desirous of being completely " redeemed from all in-
iquity;'' so that some of them afterwards told me that "they
had never felt the like before." Convictions also appeared to
be revived in many instances ; and several persons were awaken-
ed, whom I had never observed under any religious impressions
before.

"Such was the influence which attended our assembly, and
so unspeakably desirable the frame of mind which many enjoyed
in divine service, that it seemed almost grievous to conclude the
public worship. The congregation, when dismissed, although it
was then almost dark, appeared loth to leave the place, "and
employments which had been rendered so dear to them by the
benefits enjoyed, while a blessed quickening influence distilled
upon them. Upon the whole, I must say, I had great satisfaction
relative to the administration of this ordinancein various respects.
I have abundant reason to think, that those who came to the
Lord's table had a good degree of doctrinal knowledge of the.
nature and design of the ordinance, and that they acted with un-
derstanding in what they did.

"In the preparatory services, I found, I may justly say, uncom-
mon freedom in opening to their understandings and capacities,
the covenant of grace, and in shewing them the nature of this or-
dinance as a seal of that covenant; although many of them knew
of no such thing as a seal, before my coming among them, or at
least, of the use and design of it in the common affairs of life.
They were likewise thoroughly sensible, that it was no more than
a seal, or sign, and not the real body and blood of Christ ; that it
was designed for the refreshment and edification of the soul, and
not for the feasting of the body. They were also acquainted
with the end of the ordinance, that they were therein called to
commemorate the dying love of Christ/

"This competency of doctrinal knowledge, together with their
grave and decent attendance upon the ordinance, their affection-
ate melting under it, and the sweet and christian frame of mind
which they discovered after it, gave me great satisfaction respect-
ing my administration of it to them. O, what a sweet and blessed
season was this! God himself, I am persuaded, was in the midst
of his people, attending on his own ordinance. I doubt not but
many, in the conclusion of the day, could say with their whole
hearts, "Verily, a day thus spent in God's house, is better than a
thousand elsewhere." There seemed to be but one heart among
the pious people. The sweet union, harmony and endearing
love and tenderness subsisting among them was, I thought, the
most lively emblem of the heavenly world, which I had ever
seen-

302 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NEKD.

April 'HZ. " Concluded the sacramental solemnity with a dis-
course upon John xiv. 15. " If ye love me, keep my command-
ments." At this time there appeared a very agreeable tender-
ness in the audience in general, but especially in the communi-
cants. O, how free, how engaged and affectionate did these ap-
pear in the service of God! they seemed willing to have their
ears bored to the door posts of God's house, and to be his servants
forever.

" Observing numbers in this excellent frame, and the assembly
in general aifected, and that by a divine influence, I thought it
proper to improve this advantageous season as Hezekiah did the
desirable season of his great passovcr, 2 Chron.31, in order to
promote the blessed reformation begun among thern ; and to en-
gage those that appeared serious and religious to persevere there-
in. Accordingly 1 proposed to them, that they should renewedly
enter into covenant before God, that they would watch over
themselves and one another, lest they should dishonour the name
of Christ, by falling into sinful and unbecoming practices; and
especially that they would watch against the sin of drunkenness,
"the sin that most easily besets them," and the temptations lead-
ing thereto, as well as the appearance of evil in that respect."
They cheerfully complied with the proposal, and explicitly joined
in that covenant; whereupon I proceeded in the most solemn
manner of which I was capable, to call God to witness respecting
their sacred engagements, and reminded them of the greatness of
the guilt they would contract to themselves in the violation of it,
as well as observed to them that God would be a terrible witness
against those who should presume to do so in the great and nota-
ble day of the Lord. It was a season of amazing solemnity ; and
a divine awe appeared upon the face of the whole assembly in
this transaction. Affectionate sobs, sighs and tears were now
frequent in the audience; and I doubt not but that many silent
cries were then sent up to the Fountain of grace for supplies of
grace sufficient for the fulfilment of these solemn engagements.
Baptized six children this day."

On Tuesday, April 29, he went to Elizabeth Town to attend
the meeting of the Presbytery ; and seemed to spend the time
while absent from his people on this occasion, in a free and com-
fortable state of mind.

Cranberry, K.J. May, 1746.

May 3. "Rode from Elizabeth Town home to my people at
or near Cranberry ; whither they are now removed, and where I

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 303

hope God will settle them as a christian congregation. Was re-
freshed in lifting up my heart to God, while riding, and enjoyed
a thankful frame of spirit for divine favours received the week
past.

" Was somewhat uneasy and dejected in the evening; having
no house of my own to go to in this place; but God was my sup-
port.

Lord's day, May 4. " My people being now removed to their
lands, mentioned in my diary of March 24, where they were
then and have since been making provision for a compact settle-
ment, in order to their more convenient enjoyment of the gospel
and other means of instruction, as well as of the comforts of life ;
I this day visited them ; being now obliged to board with an Eng-
lish family at some distance from them; and preached to them in
the forenoon from Mark iv. 5. " And somefellupon stony ground."
&c. Endeavoured to shew them the reason there was to fear,
lest many promising appearances and hopeful beginnings in reli-
gion, might prove abortive, like the seed dropped upon stony
places.

" In the afternoon discoursed upon Rom. viii. 9. "Now, if any
man have not the spirit of Christ, he is none of his." I have
reason to think this discourse was peculiarly seasonable, and that
it had a good effect upon some of the hearers. Spent some hours
afterwards in private conference with my people, and laboured to
regulate some things which I apprehended amiss among some of
them.

May 5. "Visited my people again, and took care of their
worldly concerns; giving them directions relating to their busi-
ness. I daily discover more and more of what importance it is
likely to be to their religious interests, that they become labori-
ous and industrious, acquainted with the affairs of husbandry,
and able in a good measure to raise the necessaries and comforts
of life within themselves; for their present method of living
greatly exposes them to temptations of various kinds.

May, 6. " Enjoyed some spirit and courage in my work ; was
in a good measure free from melancholy : blessed be God for
freedom from this death.

May 7. " Spent most of the day in writing as usual. EDJoyed
some freedom in my work. Was favoured with some comforta-
ble meditations this day. In the evening was in a sweet compo-
sed frame of mind : was pleased and delighted to leave all with
God respecting myself, for time and eternity, and respecting the
people of my charge, and dear friends. Had no doubt but that
God would take care of me and of his own interest among my

304 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

people ; and was enabled to use freedom in prayer as a child with
a tender father. O how sweet is such a frame !

May 8. '" In the evening, was somewhat refreshed with divine
things, and enjoyed a tender melting frame in secret prayer ;
wherein my soul was drawn out for the interests of Zion, and
comforted with the lively hope of the appearing of the great Re-
deemer. These were sweet moments; I felt almost loth to go
to bed. and grieved that sleep was necessary. However, I lay
down with a tender reverential fear of God, sensible that his fa-
vour is life, and his smiles better than all that earth can boast of,
infinitely better than life itself.

May 9. " Preached from John 5, 40. " And ye will not come
to me," Sic. in the open wilderness ; the Indians having as yet no
house for public worship in this place, nor scarcely any shelters
for themselves. Divine truths made considerable impressions
upon the audience, and it was a season of great solemnity, tender-
ness and affection.

" Baptized one man this day, the conjurer, murderer, &c.
mentioned in my diary of Aug. 8, 1745, and Feb. 1, 1746, who
appears to be such a remarkable instance of divine grace, that I
cannot omit to give some brief account of him here. He lived
near, and sometimes attended my meeting, at the Forks of Dela-
ware, for more than a year together ; but was, like many others of
them, extremely attached to strong drink, and seemed to be in no
degree reformed by the means which I used with them lor their in-
struction and conversion. At this time he likewise murdered a
likely young Indian, which threw him into some kind of horror and
desperation, so that he kept at a distance from me, and refused to
hear me preach for several months together, until I had an oppor-
tunity of conversing freely with him, and giving him encourage-
ment, that his sin might be forgiven, for Christ's sake. After
this he again attended my meeting sometimes.

" But that which was the worst of all his conduct, was his con-
juration. He was one of those who are sometimes called powaws,
among the Indians ; and, notwithstanding his frequent attendance
upon my preaching, he still followed his old charms and juggling
tricks, " giving out that himself was some great one, and to him
they gave heed," supposing him to be possessed of great power.
When I have instructed them respecting the miracle wrought by
Christ in healing the sick, and mentioned them as evidence of his
divine mission, and the truths of his doctrine : they have quickly
observed the wonders of that kind, which this man had perform-
ed by his magic charms. Hence they had a high opinion of him
and his superstitious notions ; which seemed to be a fatal obstruc-
tion to some of them in regard to their receiving the Gospel. I

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 306

have often thought that it would he a great favour to the design of
evangelizing these Indians, if God would take that wretch out of
the world ; for 1 had scarcely any hope of his ever becoming-
good. But Goth whose thoughts are not as man's thoughts, has
been pleased to take a much more desirable method with him ; a
method agreeable to his own merciful nature, and I trust advan-
tageous to his own interest among the Indians, as well as effectu-
al to the salvation of his poor soul. To God be the glory of it.
" The first genuine concern for his soul, that ever appeared in
hirn. was excited by seeing my Interpreter and his wife baptised at
the Forks of Delaware, July 21, 1745. Which so prevailed upon
him, that with the invitation of an Indian who was a friend to
Christianity, he followed me down to Crossweeksung, in the be-
ginning of August, following in order, to hear me preach; and there
continued for several weeks in the season of the most remarkable
and powerful awakening among the Indians ; at which time he
was more effectually awakened, and brought under great concern
for his soul. And then he says, upon his "feeling the word of
God in his heart," as he expresses it, his spirit of conjuration left
him entirely, so that he has had no more power of that nature
since, than any other man living. He also declares, that he does
not now so much as know, how he used to charm and conjure, and
that he could not now do any thing of that nature if he were ever
so desirous of it.

"He continued under convictions of his sinful and perishing
state, and a considerable degree of concern for his soul, all the fall
and former part of the winter past ; but was not so deeply exer-
cised until some time in January. Then the word of God took
such hold upon him, that he was brought into deep distress, and
knew not what to do, nor where to turn himself. He then told
me, that when he used to hear me preach from time to time in the
fall of the year, my preaching pricked his heart, and made him
very uneasy, but did not bring him to so great distress, because
he still hoped he could do something for his own relief; but now
he said, I drove him up in such a sharp corner, that he had no
way to turn and could not avoid being in distress. He continued
constantly under the heavy burden and pressure of a wounded
spirit, until at length he was brought into the acute anguish and
utmost agony of soul, mentioned in my Journal of Feb. 1st,
which continued that night and part of the next day. After this
he was brought to the utmost calmness and composure of mind ;
his trembling and heavy burden were removed ; and he appeared
perfectly sedate, although he had to his apprehensions scarcelv
any hope of salvation.

30C MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

" I observed him to appear remarkably composed ; and there-
upon asked him how he did ? He replied, " It is done, it is done,
it is all done now." I asked him what he meant ? He answer-
ed, " I can never do any more to save myself; it is all done for
ever. I can do no more." I queried with him, whether he could
not do a little more, rather than go to hell ? He replied " my
heart is dead. 1 can never help myself." I asked him what he
thought would become of him then ? He answered, " I must go
to hell." I asked him if he thought it was right, that God should
send him to hell? He replied, "O it is right. The devil has
heen in me ever since I was born." I asked him if he felt this
when he was in such great distress the evening before ? He ans-
wered, " No ; I did not then think it was right. I thought God
would send me to hell, and that I was then dropping into it; but
my heart quarrelled with God, and would not say if was right he
should send me there. But now I know it is right ; for I have al-
ways served the devil ; and my heart has no goodness in it now ;
but it is as bad as ever it was, &c. I thought I had scarcely ever
seen any person more effectually brought off from a dependancc
upon his own contrivances and endeavours for salvation, or more
apparently to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy, than this man
did under these views of things.

"]n this frame of mind he contined for several days, passing
sentence of condemnation upon himself, and constantly owning
that it would be right he should be damned, and that he expected
this would be his portion for the greatness of his sins. Yet it
was plain that he had a secret hope of mercy, though impercep-
tible to himself, which kept him not only from depair but from
any pressing distress : so that, instead of being sad and dejected,
his very countenance appeared pleasant and agreeable.

"While he was in this frame, he several times asked me,
'; When I would preach again ?" and seemed desirous to hear the
word of God every day. I asked, " Why he wanted to hear me
preach, seeing his heart was dead, and all was done ; that he
could never help himself, and expected that he must go to hell ?"
He replied, u I love to hear you speak about Christ for all." I
added, " But what good will that do you, if you must go to hell
at last?"— using now his own language with him, having before from
time to time laboured in the best manner I could to represent to
him the excellency of Christ, his all-sufficiency and willingness
to save lost sinners, and persons just in his case ; although to no
purpose, as to yielding him any special comfort. He answered,
" I would have others come to Christ, if I must go to hell my-
self." It was remarkable, that he seemed to have a great love
for the people of God; and nothing affected him so much as be-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 307

ing separated from them. This seemed to be a very dreadful part
of the hell to which he saw himself doomed. It was likewise re-
markable, that in this season he was most diligent in the use of
all the means for the soul's salvation ; although he had the
clearest view of the insufficiency of means to afford him
help. He would frequently say, That ail he did signified
nothing at all ; and yet was never more constant in doing ;
attending secret and family prayer daily ; and surprisingly
diligent and attentive in hearing the word of God; so that he
neither despaired of mercy, nor yet presumed to hope upon his
own doings, but used means because appointed of God in order
to salvation ; and because he would wait upon God in his own
way.

" After he had continued in this frame of mind more than a
week, while I was discoursing publicly, he seemed to have a
lively soul-refreshing view of the excellenc}' of Christ and the
way of salvation by him ; which melted him into tears, and filled
him with admiration, comfort, satisfaction and praise to God.
Since then, he has appeared to be a humble, devout and affec-
tionate christian ; serious and exemplary in his conversation and
behaviour, frequently complaining of his barrenness, his want of
spiritual warmth, life and activity, and yet frequently favoured
with quickening and refreshing influences. In all respects, so
far as I am capable of judging, he bears the marks of one " crea-
ted anew in Christ Jesus to good works."

" His zeal for the cause of God was pleasing to me, when he
was with me at the Forks of Delaware in February last. There
being an old Indian at the place where I preached, who threat-
ened to bewitch me, and my religious people who accompanied
me there ; this man presently challenged him to do his worst ;
telling him that himself had been as great a conjuror as he ; and
that not withstanding, as soon as he felt thai word to his heart
which these people loved, meaning the word of God, his power
of conjuring immediately left him. " And so it would you," said
he, " if you did but once feel it in your heart ; and you have rfo
power to hurt them, nor so much as to touch one of them." &c.
So that I may conclude my account of him, by observing, in ailu-
lusion to what was said of St. Paul, that he now zealously " de-
fends and practically preaches the faith which he once destroyed,"
or at least was instrumental of obstructing. May God have the
glory of the amazing change which he has wrought in him !

May 10. "Rode to Allen's-town to assist in the administra-
tion of the Lord's supper. In the afternoon, preached from Ti-
tus ii. 14. Who gave himself for us, &c. God was pleased to
carry me through, and to grant me some freedom ; and yet to

308 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

deny mc that enlargement and power for which I longed. In the
evening my soul mourned and could not but mourn, that I had
treated so excellent a subject in so defective a manner ; that
I had borne so broken a testimony for so worthy and glorious a
Redeemer. If my discourse had met with the utmost applause
from all the world, it would not have given me any satisfaction.
Oh, it grieved me to think, that I had no more holy warmth and
fervency, that I had been no more melted in discoursing of Christ's
death and the end and design of it! Afterwards enjoyed some
freedom and fervency in family and secret prayer, and longed
much for the presence of God to attend his word and ordinances
the next day.

LorcVs day, May 11. " Assisted in the administration of the
Lord's supper ; but enjoyed but little enlargement : was grieved
and sunk with some things, which I thought undesirable, Lc. In
the afternoon went to the house of God, weak and sick in soul,
as well as feeble in body, and longed that the people might be
entertained and edified with divine truths, and that an honest,
fervent testimony might be borne for God ; but knew not how it
was possible for me to do any thing of that kind to any good pur-
pose. Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleased to give me
assistance both in prayer and preaching. God helped me to
wrestle for his presence in prayer, and to tell him that he had
promised. " Where two or three are met together in his name,
there he would be in the midst of them ;" and that we were, at
least some of us, so met ; and pleaded that for his truth's sake
he would be with us. Blessed be God, it was sweet to my soul,
thus to plead and rely on God's promises. Discoursed upon Luke
ix. 30, 31. And behold there talked with him two men, zchich were
Moses and Elias, who appeared in glory, and spake of his decease,
which he should accomplish at Jerusalem. Enjoyed special free-
dom from the beginning to the end of my discourse without in-
terruption. Things pertinent to the subject were abundantly
presented to my view, and such a fulness of matter, that 1 scarce
knew how to dismiss the various heads and particulars I had occa-
sion to touch upon. Blessed be the Lord, I was favored with
some fervency and power, as well as freedom ; so that the word
of God seemed to awaken the attention of a stupid audience to
a considerable degree. I was inwardly refreshed with the con-
solations of God and could with my whole heart say. " Though
there be no fruit in the vine, &c. yet will I rejoice in the Lord.''
After public service, was refreshed with the sweet conversation
some Christian friends."

The four next days seem to have been mostly spent with spirit-
ual comfort and profit.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 30$

May 16. " Near night enjoyed some agreeable and sweet con-
versation with a dear minister; which was. I trust, blessed to my
soul. My heart was warmed, and my soul engaged to live to
God 5 so that I longed to exert myself with more vigour than ever
1 had done in his cause; and those words were quickening to me,
"Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bring forth much fruit."
Oh, my soul longed, and wished, and prayed to be enabled to live
to God with the utmost constancy and ardour! In the evening,
God was pleased to shine mpon me in secret prayer, and draw
out my soul after himself; and I had freedom in supplication for
myself, but much more in intercession for others : so that I was
sweetly constrained to say, " Lord, use me as thou wilt ; do as
thou wilt with me : but, O, promote thine own cause ! Zion is
thine ; Oh, visit thine heritage ! Let thy kingdom come ! Oh, let
thy blessed interest be advanced in the world.'' When I atternp-
ed to look to God respecting my worldly circumstances, and his
providential dealings with me relative to my settling down in my
congregation ; which seems to be necessary, and yet very difficult
and contrary to my fixed intentions for years past, as well as to
my disposition, which has been and still is, at times especially,
to go forth, and spend my life in preaching the gospel from
place to place, and gathering souls afar off to Jesus the great Re-
deemer ; 1 could only say, "The will of the Lord be done ; it is.
no matter for me." The same frame of mind, I felt, with regard
to another important affair, of which I have lately had some seri-
ous thoughts. I could say, with the utmost calmness and compo-
sure, " Lord, if it be most for thy glory, let me proceed in it ;
but, if thou seest it will in any wise hinder my usefulness in thy
cause, Oh prevent me from proceeding ; for all I want respect-
ing this world is such circumstances as may best capacitate me to
do service for God in the world." But, blessed be God ! I enjoy-
ed liberty in prayer for my dear flock, and was enabled to pour
out my soul into the bosom of a tender Father. My heart within
me was melted, when I came to plead for my dear people and for
the kingdom of Christ in general. Oh, how sweet was this eve-
ning to my soul ! I knew not how to go to bed ; and when I got to
bed, longed for some way to improve time for God to some excel-
lent purpose. Bless the Lord, O my soul !

May 17. " Walked out in the morning, and felt much of the
same frame which I enjoyed the evening before ; had my heart
enlarged in praying for the advancement of the kingdom of
Christ, and found the utmost freedom in leaving all my concerns
with God.

" I find discouragement to be an exceeding hindrance to my
spiritual fervency and affection ; but, when God enables me sens-

310 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

ibly to find that I have done something for him, this refreshes and
animates me, so that I could break through all hardships, and un-
dergo any labours, and nothing seems too much either to do or
to suffer. But Oh, what a death it is to strive and strive; to be
always in a hurry, and yet do nothing, or at least, nothing for
God! Alas, alas, that time flies away, and I do so little for
God!

Lord's Day, May 18th. I felt my own utter insufficiency for
my work : God made me to see, that I was a child; yea that I
was a fool. I discoursed both parts of the day from Rev. iii. 20,
" Behold I stand at the door and knock." God gave me freedom
and power in the latter part of my forenoon's discourse : although,
in the former part of it I felt peevish and provoked with the un-
mannerly behaviour of the white people, who crowded in between
my people and me ; which proved a great temptation to me.
But, blessed be God ! I got these shackles off, before the middle
of my discourse, and was favored with a sweet frame of spirit in
the latter part of the exercise ; was full of love, warmth and ten-
derness in addressing my dear people. There appears some af-
fectionate melting towards the conclusion of the forenoon exer-
cise, and one or two instances of fresh awakening. In the inter-
mission of public worship I took occasion to discourse to numbers,
in a more private way, on the kindness and patience of the bless-
ed Redeemer in standing and knocking, in continuing his gra-
cious calls to sinners, who had long neglected and abused his
grace ; which seemed to take some effect upon several.

" In the afternoon divine truths were attended with solemnity,
and with some tears ; although there was not that powerful a-
wakening and quickening influence, which in times past has been
common in our assemblies. The appearance of the audience un-
der divine truths was comparatively discouraging; and I was
ready to fear that God was about to withdraw the blessed influ-
ence of his spirit from us.

In the evening, I was grieved that I had done so little for God.
Oh that I could be " aflame of fire'''1 in the service of my God !

May 19. Visited and preached to my people from Acts xx. 18,
19, "And when they were come to him, he said unto them, Ye know
from the first day,^ &c and endeavoured to rectify their notions
about religions affections ; shewing them on the one hand the de-
sirableness of religious affection, tenderness and fervent engage-
ment in the worship and service of God, when such affection flows
from a true spiritual discovery of divine glories from a just sense
ofthe transcendant excellence and perfections of the blessed
God, — and a view of the glory and loveliness of the great Re-

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 311

deemer ; and that such views of divine things will naturally excite
us to " serve the Lord with many tears, with much affection and
fervency, and yet with all humility of mind." On the other hand
1 observed the sinfulness of seeking after high affections immedi-
ately and for their own sakes ; that is, of making them the object
which our eye and heart isjirst and principally set upon, when the
glory of God ought to be that object. Shewed them that, if the
heart be directly and chiefly fixed on God, and the soul engaged
to glorify him, some degree of religious affection will be the ef-
fect and attendant of it. But to seek after affection directly and
chiefly ; to have the heart principally set upon that ; is to place
it in the room of God and his glory. If it be sought, that others
may take notice of it, and admire us for our spirituality and for-
wardness in religion, it is then abominable pride ; if for the sake
of feeling the pleasure of being affected, it is then idolatry and
self-gratification. Laboured also to expose the disagreeableness
of those affections, which are sometimes wrought up in persons
by the power of fancy, and their own attempts for that purpose,
while I still endeavoured to recommend to them that religious af-
fection, fervency and devotion which ought to attend all our reli-
gious exercises, and without which religion will be but an empty
name and lifeless carcase. This appeared to be a seasonable dis-
course, and proved very satisfactory to some of the religious peo-
ple, who before were exercised with some difficulties relating to
this point. Afterwards took care of, and gave my people direc-
tions about, their worldly affairs."

On Tuesday, he complains of want of freedom and comfort ;
but had some returns of these on Wednesday.

May 22. " Tn the evening was in a frame somewhat remarka-
ble. I had apprehended for some days before, that it was the
design of Providence that I should settle among my people-here,
and had in my own mind began to make provision for it, and to
contrive means to hasten it ; and found my heart somewhat en-
gaged in it ; hoping that I might then enjoy more agreeable cir-
cumstances of life in several respects : and yet was never fully de-
termined, never quite pleased with the thoughts of being settled
and confined to one place. Nevertheless 1 seemed to have some
freedom in that respect, because the congregation, with which I
thought of settling, was one which God had enabled mc to gather
from among Pagans. For 1 never, since 1 began to preach, could
feel any freedom to enter into other men's labours, and settle
down in the ministry where the gospel was preached before. I

§12 MEMOIRS OF BRAiNERD.

never could make that appear to be my province. When I felt
any disposition to consult my worldly ease and comfort, God has
never given me any liberty in this respect, either since, or for
some years before, F begun to preach. But God having succeed-
ed my labours, and made me instrumental in gathering a church
for him among these Indians, I was ready to think it might be his
design to give me a quiet settlement, and a stated home of my
own. This, considering the late frequent sinking and failure of
my spirits, and the need I stood in of some agreeable society, and
my great desire of enjoying conveniences and opportunities for
profitable studies, was not altogether disagreeable to me. Al-
though I still wanted to go about far and wide, in order to spread
the blessed gospel among the benighted souls far remote, yet
I never had been so willing to settle in any one place, for more
than five years past, as I was in the preceding part of this week.
But now these thoughts seemed to be wholly dashed to pieces, not
by necessity, but of choice ; for it appeared to me that God's
dealings towards me had fitted me for a life of solitariness and
hardship, and that I had nothing to lose, nothing to do with earth,
and consequently nothing to lose by a total renunciation of it. Jt
appeared to me just right that I should be destitute of house and
home, and many of the comforts of life, which I rejoiced to see
others of God's people enjo}r. At the same time, I saw so much
of the excellency of Christ's kingdom and the infinite desirableness
of its advancement in the world, that it swallowed up all my other
thoughts, and made me willing, yea, even rejoice, to he made a
pi/grim or hermit m the wilderness to my dying moment ; if I might
thereby promote the blessed interest of the great Redeemer. If
ever my soul presented itself to God for his service, zvithoul any
reserve of any kind, it did so now. The language of my thoughts
and disposition now was, " Here I am, Lord, send me; send me
to the ends of the Earth ; send vie to the rough, the savage Pagans
of the wilderness ; send me from all that is called comfort in earth,
or earthly comfort / send me even to death itself, if it be but in thy
service, and to promote thy kingdom.'''' At the same time, 1 had
as quick and lively a sense of the value of worldly comforts, as I
ever had t, but only saw them infinitely overmatched by the worth
of Christ's kingdom, and the propagation of his blessed gospel.
The quiet settlement, the certain place of abode, the tender
friendship, which I thought I might be likely to enjoy in conse-
quence of such circumstances, appeared as valuable to me, con-
sidered absolutely and in themselves', as ever before ; but consider-
ed comparatively, they appeared nothing. Compared with the
value and preciousness of an enlargement of Christ's kingdom,
they vanished as stars before the rising sun. Sure 1 am, that, al-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 313

though the comfortable accommodations of liTe appeared valuable
and dear to me, yet I did surrender and resign myself, soul and
body, to the service of God, and to the promotion of Christ's
kingdom ; though it should be in the loss of thern all I could not
do any other, because I could not will or choose any other. 1 was
constrained, and yet chose, to say, " Farewell friends and earthly
comforts, the dearest of them all, the very dearest, if the Lord
calls for it : adieu, adieu ; I will spend my life, to my latest mo-
ments, in caves, and dens of the earth, if the kingdom of Christ
may thereby be advanced. I found extraordinary freedom at this
time in pouring out my soul to God for his cause ; and especially
that his kingdom might be extended among the Indians, far re-
mote ; and I had a great and strong hope that God would do it.
I continued wrestling with God in prayer for my dear little flock
here ; and more especially for the Indians elsewhere; as well as
for dear friends in one place and another until it was bed time,
• and I feared I should hinder the family, &c. But, O, with what
reluctancy did I feel myself obliged to consume time in sleep! I
longed to be as a flame of fire, continually glowing in the divine
service, and building up Christ's kingdom, -to my latest my dying
moment.

May 23. " In the morning, was in the same frame of mind as
in the evening before. The glory of Christ's kingdom so much
outshone the pleasure of earthly accommodations and enjoyments,
that they appeared comparatively nothing, though in themselves
good and desirable. My soul was melted in secret meditation
and prayer ; and I found myself divorced from any part or por-
tion in this world ; so that in those affairs which seemed of the
greatest importance to me with respect to the present life, and in
those with the tenderest feelings of the heart are most sensibly
connected ; I could only say, " the will of the Lord be done."
But just the same things, which I felt the evening before, I felt
now, and found the same freedom in prayer for the people of my
charge, for the propagation of the gospel among the Indians, and
for the enlargement and spiritual welfare of Zion in general, and
my dear friends in particular now, as I did then ; and longed to
burn out in one continued flame for God. Retained much of the
same frame through the day. In the evening I was visited by my
brother John Brainerd ; the first visit which I have ever receiv-
ed from any near relative since I have been a missionary. Felt
the same flame of spirit in the evening, as in the morning; and
found that it was good for me to draw near to God, and leave all
my concerns and burdens with him. Was enlarged and refreshed
in pouring out my soul for the propagation of the gospel of the
Redeemer among the distant tribes of Indians. Blessed be God.

314 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

If ever I filled up a day with study and devotion, I was enabled
so to fill up this day.

May 24. " Visited the Indians, and took care of their secular
business; which they are not able to manage themselves, without
the constant care and advice of others. Afterwards discoursed
to some of them particularly about their spiritual concerns. — En-
joyed this day somewhat of the same frame of mind which 1 felt
the day before.

Lord^s day, May 25. "Discoursed both parts of the day from
John xii. 44 — 48. "Jesus cried and said, He that belicveth on me.
&c." There was some degree of divine power attending the
word of God. Several wept, and appeared considerably affect-
ed, and one, who had long been under spiritual trouble, now ob-
tained clearness and comfort, and appeared to rejoice in God her
Saviour. It was a day of grace and divine goodness; a day
wherein something I trust was done for the cause of God among
my people ; a season of comfort and sweetness to numbers of the
religious people ; although there was not that influence upon the
congregation which was common some months ago."

This week, at least the former part of it, he was in a very weak
state, but yet seems to have been free from melancholy, which of-
ten had attended the failing of his bodily strength. He from
time to time speaks of comfort and inward refreshment this
week.

Lord^s day, June 1, 1746. " Preached both forenoon and af-
ternoon from Matt. xi. 27, 28. The presence of God seemed to
be in the assembly; and numbers were considerably melted and
affected under divine truths. There was a desirable appearance
in the congregation in general, an earnest attention and an agree-
able tenderness ; and it seemed as if God designed to visit us
with further showers of divine grace. I then baptized ten per-
sons : Jive adults, and fixe children ; and was not a little refresh-
ed with this addition made to the church of such as I hope will
be saved. I have reason to hope that God has lately, at and
since our celebration of the Lord's supper, brought to himself
several persons who had long been under spiritual trouble and
concern ; although there have been few instances of persons late-
ly awakened out of a state of security. Those comforted of late
seem to be brought in, in a more silent way ; neither their con-
cern, nor consolation being so powerful and remarkable, as ap-
peared among those more suddenly wrought upon in the begin-
ning of this work of grace.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 3K>

June 2. " In the evening, enjoyed some freedom in secret
prayer and meditation.

June 3. " My soul rejoiced, early in the morning, to think
that all things were at God's disposal. Oh, it pleased me to leave
them there ! Felt afterwards much as I did on Thursday eve-
ning last May 22, and continued in that frame for several hours.
Walked out in the wilderness, and enjoyed freedom, fervency and
comfort in praver, and again enjoyed the same in the evening.

June 4. " Spent the day in writing, and enjoyed some com-
fort, satisfaction and freedom in my work. In the evening, I was
favoured with a sweet refreshing frame of soul in secret prayer
and meditation. Prayer was now wholly turned into praise, and
I could do little else but try to adore and bless the living God.
The wonders of his grace displayed in gathering to himself a
church among the poor Indians here, were the subject matter of
my meditation, and the occasion of exciting my soul to praise
and bless his name. My soul was scarcely ever more disposed
to inquire, What I should render to God for all his benefits, than
at this time. Oh, ! was brought into a strait, a sweet and happy
strait, to know what to do ! I longed to make some returns to
God ; but found I had nothing to return : I could only rejoice
that God had done the work himself; and that none in heaven or
earth might pretend to share the honour of it with him. I could
only be glad, that God's declarative glory was advanced by the
conversion of these souls, and that it was to the enlargement of
his kingdom in the world ; but saw I was so poor that I had
nothing to offer to him. My soul and body, through grace, I
could cheerfully surrender to him; but it appeared to me this
was rather a burden than a gift ; and nothing could 1 do to glorify
his dear and blessed name. Yet I was glad at heart, that he was
unchangeably possessed of glory and blessedness. Oh that he
might be adored and praised by all his intelligent creatures to the
utmost extent of their capacities ! My soul would have rejoiced
to see others praise him, though I could do nothing towards it
myself."

The next day he speaks of his being subject to some degree of
melancholy ; but of being somewhat relieved in the evening.

June 6. " Discoursed to my people from part of Is. liii. The
divine presence appeared to be among us in some measure —
Several persons were much melted and refreshed ; and one man
in particular, who had Ions been under concern for his soul, was
now brought to see and feel, in a very lively manner, the impos-
sibility of his doing any thing to help himself, or to bring him into

316 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

the favour of God, by his tears, prayers and other religious per-
formances ; and found himself undone as to any power" or good-
ness of his own, and that there was no way left him but to leave
himself with God, to be disposed of as he pleased.

June 7. " Being desired by the Rev. William Tennent to be
his assistant in the administration of the Lord's Supper, I this
morning rode to Freehold to render that assistance. My people
also being invited to attend the sacramental solemnity ; they
cheerfully embraced the opportunity, and this day attended the
preparatory services with me.

" In the afternoon I preached from Psalm lxxiii. 28. " But it
is good for me to draw near to God," &c. God gave me some
freedom and warmth in my discourse : and I trust his presence
was in the assembly. Was comfortably composed, enjoyed a
thankful frame of spirit, and my soul was grieved, that I could not
render something to God for his benefits bestowed. O that I
could be swallowed up in his praise !

Lord's day, June 8. " Spent much time in the morning in se-
cret duties, but between hope and fear respecting the enjoyment
of God in the business of the day then before us. Was agreeablv
entertained in the forenoon by a discourse from Mr. Tennent
and felt somewhat melted and refreshed. In the season of com-
munion, enjoyed some comfort ; and especially in serving one of
the tables. Blessed be the Lord ! it was a time of refreshing to
me, and I trust to many others.

" Most of my people, who had been communicants at the Lord's
table, before being present at this sacramental occasion, communed
with others in the holy ordinance, at the desire, and I trust to the
satisfaction and comfort of numbers of God's people, who had long-
ed to see this day, and whose hearts had rejoiced in this work of
grace among the Indians, which prepared the way for what ap-
peared so agreeable at this time. Those of my people who com-
muned, seemed in general, agreeably affected at the Lord's table,
and some of them considerably melted with the love of Christ, al-
though they were not so remarkablv refreshed and feasted at this
time, as when I administered this ordinance to them in our own con-
gregation only. A number of my dear people sat down bv them-
selves at the last table ; at which time God seemed to be in the midst
of them. Some of the by-slanders were affected with seeing those
who had been "aliens from the common wealth of Israel, and stran-
gers to the covenant of promise," who of all men had lived '-without
hope and without God in the world," now brought near to God, as
his professing people, and sealing their covenant with him, by a
solemn and devout attendance upon this sacred ordinance. As
numbers of God's people were refreshed with this sight, and there-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 3i7

by excited to bless God for the enlargement of his kingdom in the
world ; so some others, I was told, were awakened by it. appre-
hending the danger they were in of being themselves finally cast
out; while they saw others from the east and west preparing, and
hopefully prepared in some good measure, to sit down in the
kingdom of God. At this season others of my people also, who
were not communicants, were considerably affected ; convictions
were revived in several instances ; and one, the man particular-
ly mentioned in my journal of the 6th instant, obtained comfort
and satisfaction ; and has since given me such an account of his
spiritual exercises, and the manner in which he obtained relief, as
appears very hopeful. It seems as if He, who commanded the
light to shine out of darkness, had now "shined into his heart, and
and given him the light of," and experimental " knowledge of the
glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."

" In the afternoon God enabled me to preach with uncommon
freedom, from 2 Co. v. 20, " Now then we are ambassadors for
Christ" &c. Through the great goodness of God, I was favoured
with a constant flow of pertinent matter, and proper expressions,
from the beginning to the end of my discourse. In the evening I
could not but rejoice in God, and bless him in the manifestations
of grace in the day past. Oh it was a sweet and solemn day and
evening! a season of comfort to the godly, and of awakening to
some souls ! O that I couldpraise the Lord.

June. 9. " Enjoyed some sweetness in secret duties. A con-
siderable number of my people met together early in a retired
place in the woods, and prayed, sang and conversed of divine
things ; and were seen by some religious persons of the white
people to be affected and engaged, and divers of them in tears in
these religious exercises. Preached the concluding sermon from
Gen. v. 24, " And Fnoch walked with God," &c. God gave
me enlargement and fervency in my discourse, so that I
was enabled to speak with plainness and power ; and God's pres-
ence seemed to be in the assembly. Praised be the Lord, it was
a sweet meeting, a desirable assembly. I found my strength re-
newed, and lengthened out even to a" wonder, so that 1 felt much
stronger at the conclusion than in the beginning of this sacramen-
tal solemnity. I have great reason to bless God for this solemni-
ty ; wherein I have found assistance in addressing others, and
sweetness in my own soul.

" After my people had attended the concluding exercises
of the sacramental solemnity, they returned home ; many of
them rejoicing for all the goodness of God which they had "seen
and felt: so that this appeared to be a profitable as well as com-

3 18 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

fortable season to numbers of my congregation. Their being
present at this occasion, and a number of them communing at the
Lord's table with other christians, was, I trust, for the honour
of God and the interest of religion in these parts; as numbers I
have reason to think, were quickened by means of it."

On Tuesday, he found himself spent, and his spirits exhausted,
bv his late labours ; and on Wednesday complains of vapoury dis-
orders and dejection of spirits, and of enjoying but little comfort
and spirituality.

June 12. " In the evening, enjoyed freedom of mind and some
sweetness in secret prayer. It was a desirable season to me ; my
soul was enlarged in prayer for my own dear people, and for the
enlargement of Christ's kingdom, and especially for the propaga-
tion of the Gospel among the Indians, far back in the wilderness.
Was refreshed in prayer for dear friends in New-England and
elsewhere. I found it sweet to pray at this time ; and could, with
all my heart, say, " It is good for me to drazo near to God."

June 1 3. " Preached to my people upon the new creature,
from 2 Cor. v. 17, " If any man be in Christ. " &c. The presence
of God appeared to be in the assembly. It was a sweet and
agreeable meeting, wherein the people of God were refreshed and
strengthened ; beholding their faces in the glass of God's word,
and finding in themselves the works and lineaments of the new
creature. " Some sinners under concern were also renewedly af-
fected ; and afresh engaged for the securing of their eternal in-
terests.

" Baptised five persons at this time, three adults, and two chil-
dren. One of these was the very aged woman, of whose exercises
I gave an account in my diary, of Dec. 26. She now gave me a
very punctual, rational, and satisfactory account of the remarka-
ble change which she experienced some months after the begin-
ning of her concern, which I must say, appeared to be the genuine
operations of the Divine Spirit, so far as I am capable of judging.
Although she was become so childish through age, that I could
do nothing in a way of questioning with her, nor scarcely make
her understand any 'thing that I asked her; yet when 1 let her
alone to go on with her own story, she could give a very distinct
and particular relation of the many and various exercises of soul,
which she had experienced ; so deep were the impressions left
upon her mind by that influence and those exercises which she
had experienced. I have great reason to think, that she is born
anew in her old age : she being, I presume, upwards of eighty.

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 319

1 bad good hopes of the other adults, and trust they are such as
God will own " in the day when he makes up his jewels."

"I came away from the meeting of the Indians, this day,
rejoicing and blessing God for his grace manifested at this sea-

June 14. "Rode to Kingston to assist the Rev. Mr. Wales
in the administration of the Lord's supper. In the afternoon,
preached; but almost fainted in the pulpit. Yet God strength-
ened me when I was just gone, and enabled me to speak his word
with freedom, fervency, and application to the conscience. —
Praised be the Lord, " out of weakness I was made strong." I
enjoyed some sweetness in and after public worship, but was ex-
tremely tired. Oh, how many are the mercies of the Lord!
" To them that have no might he increaseth strength."

Lord's day, June 15. " Was in a dejected, spiritless frame, so
that I could not hold up my head, nor look any body in the face.
Administered the Lord's supper at Mr. Wale's desire, and found
myself in a good measure unburdened and relieved of my pressing
load, when 1 came to ask a blessing on the elements. Here God
gave me enlargement and a tender affectionate sense of spiritual
things, so that it was a season of comfort, in some measure to me,
and 1 trust, more so to others. In the afternoon, preached to a
vast multitude, from Rev. xxii. 17 — '■And whoever will, #-c' God
helped me to offer a testimony for himself, and to leave sinners
inexcusable in neglecting his grace. I was enabled to speak with
such freedom, fluency and clearness, as commanded the atten-
tion of the great. Was extremely tired in the evening, but en-
joyed composure and sweetness.

June 16. "Preached again; and God helped me amazingly,
so that this was a sweet refreshing season to my soul and others.
Oh, forever blessed be God for help afforded at this time, when
my body was so weak, and while there was so large an assembly
to hear. Spent this afternoon in a comfortable agreeable man-
ner."

The next day was spent comfortably. On Wednesday, he
went to a meeting of ministers at Hopewell.

June 19. "Visited my people with two of the Reverend cor-
respondents. Spent some time in conversation with some of
them upon spiritual things ; and took some care of their worldly
concerns.

"This day makes up a complete year from the first time of
my preaching to these Indians in New-Jersey. What amazing

320 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

things has God wrought, in this space of time, for this poor peo
pie ! What a surprizing change appears in their tempers and be-
haviour! How are morose and savage Pagans, in this short peri-
od, transformed into agreeable, affectionate, and humble chris-
tians! and (heir drunken and Pagan howlings turned into devout
and fervent praises to God! They 'who were sometimes in dark-
ness are now become light in the Lord.' May they ' walk as
children of the light and of the day!' And now to Him that is of
power to establish them according to the gospel, and the preach-
ing of Christ — to God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ,
for ever and ever, Amen."

CHAPTER IX.

General Remarks on the preceding Narrative of a Work of Grace at
Crossweeksung. I. On the Doctrines preached to the Indians.
II. On the Moral Effects of preaching Christ 'Crucified. III. On
the Continuance, Renewal and Quickness of the Work. IV. On
the Hi tie appearance of False Religion.*

;c At the close of this Narrative, I would make, a few General
Remarks upon what, to me, appears worthy of notice, relating to
the continued work of grace among my people.

I. " On the Doctrines preached to the Indians.

" I cannot but take notice, that I have in general, ever since
my first coming among the Indians in New-Jersey, been favoured
with that assistance, which, to me, is uncommon, in preaching
Christ crucified, and making him the centre and mark to which all
my discourses among them were directed.

" It was the principal scope and drift of all my discourses to this
people, for several months together, (after having taught them
something of the being and perfections of God, his creation of
man in a state of rectitude and happiness, and the obligations
mankind were thence under to love and honour him,) to lead
them into an acquaintance with their deplorable state by nature,
as fallen creatures ; their inability to extricate and deliver them-
selves from it ; the utter insufficiency of any external reformations
and amendments of life, or of any religious performances, of
which they were capable, while in this state, to bring them into
the favour of God, and interest them in his eternal mercy 5 thence
to shew them their absolute need of Christ to redeem and save
them from the misery of their fallen state ; — to open his all-suffi-
ciency and willingness to save the chief of sinners ; — the freencss
and riches of divine grace, proposed " without money, and with-
out price," to all that will accept the offer; thereupon to press
them without delay, to betake themselves to him, under a sense of
their misery and undone state, for relief and everlasting salva-
tion ; — and to shew them the abundant encouragement the gos-
pel proposes to needy, perishing, and helpless sinners, in order
to engage them so to do. These things, 1 repeatedly and large-
ly insisted upon from time to time.

* As the General Remarks in this chapter and the next were appended by
Brainerd to his Journal which terminated June 19, 1746, this is obviously the
proper place for inserting them.

322 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

" I have oftentimes remarked with admiration, that whatever
subject 1 have been treating upon, after having spent time suffi-
cient to explain and illustrate the truths contained therein, I have
been naturally and easily led to Christ as the substance of every
subject. If I treated on the being and glorious perfections of
God ; I was thence naturally led to discourse of Christ as the only
" way to the Father." — If I attempted to open the deplorable
misery of our fallen state ; it was natural from thence to shew the
necessity of Christ to undertake for us, to atone for our sins, and
to redeem us from the power of them. — If I taught the commands
of God, and shewed our violation of them ; this brought me in the
most easy and natural way, to speak of, and recommend the
Lord Jesus Christ, as one who had "magnified the law" which
we had broken, and who was " become the end of it for righteous-
ness, to every one that believes." Never did 1 find so much free-
dom and assistance in making all the various lines of my dis-
courses meet together, and centre in Christ, as I have frequently
done among these Indians.

"Sometimes when I have had thoughts of offering but a few
words upon some particular subject, and saw no occasion, nor in-
deed much room, for any considerable enlargement, there has at
unawares appeared such a fountain of gospel-grace shining forth
in, or naturally resulting from a just explication of it ; and Christ
has seemed in such a manner to be pointed out as the substance
of what I was considering and explaining ; that I have been
drawn in a way not only easy and naturcd, proper and pertinent,
but almost unavoidable to discourse of him, either in regard of
his undertaking, incarnation, satisfaction, admirable fitness for
the work of man's redemption, or the infinite need that sinners
stand in of an interest in him ; which has opened the way for a
continued strain of gospel invitation to perishing souls, to come
empty and naked, weary and heavy laden, and cast themselves
upon him.

" As I have been remarkably influenced and assisted to dwell
upon the Lord Jesus Christ, and the way of salvation by him, in
the general current of my discourses here, and have been, at
times, surprisingly furnished with pertinent matter relating to
him, and the design of his incarnation; so I have been no less
assisted oftentimes in an advantageous manner of opening the
mysteries of divine grace, and representing the infinite excellen-
cies, and " unsearchable riches of Christ," as well as of recom-
mending him to the acceptance of perishing sinners. 1 have fre-
quently been enabled to represent the divine glory, the infinite
preciousness and transcendant loveliness of the great Redeemer,
the suitableness of his person and purchase to supply the wants,

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 323

and answer the utmost desires of immortal souls ; — to open the
infinite riches of his grace, and the wonderful encouragement
proposed in the gospel to unworthy, helpless sinners ; — to call,
invite, and beseech them to come and give up themselves to him,
and be reconciled to God through him ; — to expostulate with them
respecting their neglect of one so infinitely lovely, and freely of-
fered ; — and this in such a manner, with such freedom, pertinency,
pathos, and application to the conscience, as, I am sure, I never
could have made myself master of by the most assiduous applica-
tion of mind. Frequently, at surh seasons, I have been surpris-
ingly helped in adapting my discourses to the capacities of my
people, and bringing them down into such easy, and familiar
methods of expression, as has rendered them iutelligible even to
Pagans.

" I do not mention these things as a recommendation of my
own performances ; for, I am sure, I found, from time to time,
that 1 had no skill or wisdom for my great work ; and knew not
how " to choose out acceptable words" proper to address poor
benighted Pagans with. But thus God was pleased to help me,
" not to know any thing among them, save Josus Christ, and him
crucified." Thus I was enabled to shew them their misery with-
out him, and to represent his complete fitness to redeem and
save shem.

" This was the preaching God made use of for the awakening
of sinners, and the propagation of this " work of grace among the
Indians." — It was remarkable, from time to time, that when I
was favoured with any special freedom, in discoursing of the
"ability and willingness of Christ to save sinners," and "the
need in which they stood of such a Saviour;" there was then the
greatest appearance of divine power in awakening numbers of
secure souls, promoting convictions begun, and comforting the
distressed.

" 1 have sometimes formerly, in reading the apostle's discourse
to Cornelius, (Acts x.) wondered to see him so quickly introduce
the Lord Jesus Christ into his sermon, and so entirely dwell upon
him through the whole of it, observing him in this point \ery
widely to differ from many of our modern preachers ; but latterly
this has not seemed strange, since Christ has appeared to be the
substance of the gospel, and the centre in which the several lines •
of divine reFelation meet. Still I am sensible that there are
many things necessary to be spoken to persons under Pagan dark-
ness, in order to make way for a proper introduction of the name
of Christ, and his undertaking in behalf of fallen man.

324 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

II. " On the moral Effects of preaching Ch?-ist crucified.

" It is worthy of remark, that numbers of these people are
brought to a strict compliance with the rules of morality and so-
briety, and to a conscientious performance of the external duties
of Christianity, by the internal power and influence of divine
truths — the peculiar doctrines of grace — upon their minds ; with-
out their having these moral duties frequently repeated and incul-
cated upon them, and the contrary vices particularly exposed and
spoken against. What has been the general strain and drift of
my preaching among these Indians, what were the truths I prin-
cipally insisted upon, and how I was influenced and enabled to
dwell from time to time upon the peculiar doctrines of grace, I
have already observed in the preceding remarks. Those doc-
trines, which had the most direct tendency to humble the fallen
creature; to shew him the misery of his natural state ; to bring
him down to the foot of sovereign mercy, and to exalt the great
Redeemer — discover his transcendent excellency and infinite
preciousness, and so to recommend him to the sinner's accept-
ance— were the subject-matter of what was delivered in public
and private to them, and from time to time repeated and incul-
cated upon them.

" God was pleased to give these divine truths such a powerful
influence upon the minds of these people, and so to bless them
for the effectual awakening of numbers of them, that their lives
were quickly reformed, without my insisting upon the precepts of
morality, and spending time in repeated harangues upon external
duties. There was indeed no room for any kind of discourses
but those which respected the essentials of religion, and the ex-
perimental knowledge of divine things, while there were so many
inquiring daily — not how they should regulate their external con-
duct, for that, persons who are honestly disposed to comply with
duty, when known, may in ordinary cases, be easily satisfied a-
bout, but — how they should escape from the wrath they feared,
and felt a desert of, — obtain an effectual change of heart, — get an
interest in Christ, — and come to the enjoyment of eternal bles-
sedness ? So that my great work still was to lead them into a fur-
ther view of their utter tindonencss in themselves, the total de-
pravity and corruption of their hearts ; that there was no manner
of goodness in them ; no good dispositions nor desires ; no love
to God, nor delight in his commands : but, on the contrary, ha-
tred, enmity, and all manner of wickedness reigning in them : — ■
And at the same time to open to them the glorious and complete
remedy provided in Christ for helpless perishing sinners, and of-
fered freely to those who have no goodness of their own, no

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 325

" works of righteousness which the)7 have done, to recommend
them to God.

" This was the continued strain of my preaching ; this my
great concern and constant endeavour, so to enlighten the mind,
as thereby duly to affect the heart, and, as far as possible, give
persons a sense of feeling of these precious and important doc-
trines of grace, at least, so far as means might conduce to it.
These were the doctrines, and this the method of preaching, which
were blessed of God for the awakening, and I trust, the saving
conversion of numbers of souls ; — and which were made the
means of producing a remarkable reformation among the hearers
in general.

" When these truths were felt at heart, there was now no vice
unreformed, — no external duty neglected. — Drunkenness, the
darling vice, was broken off from, and scarce an instance of it
known among my hearers for months together. The abusive
practice of husbands and wives in putting away each other, and
taking others in their stead, was quickly reformed ; so that there
are three or four couple who have voluntarily dismissed those
whom they had wrongfully taken, and now live together in love
and peace. The same might be said of all other vicious practi-
ces.— The reformation was general ; and all springing from the
internal influence of divine truths upon their hearts ; and not from
any external restraints, or because they had heard these vices
particularly exposed, and repeatedly spoken against. Some of
them I never so much as mentioned; particularly, that of the
parting of men and their wives, till some, having their conscience
awakened by God's word, came, and of their own accord, confess-
ed themselves guilty in that respect. When I at any time men-
tioned their wicked practices, and the sins they were guilty of con-
trary to the light of nature, it was not with a design, nor indeed
with any hope, of working an effectual reformation in their ex-
ternal manners by this means, for I knew, that while the tree re-
mained corrupt, the fruit would naturally be so. My design was
to lead them, by observing the wickedness of their lives, to a view
of the corruption of their hearts, and so to convince them of the
necessity of a renovation of nature, and to excite them with the
utmost diligence to seek after that great change ; which, if once
obtained, I was sensible, would of course produce a reformation
of external manners in every respect.

" And as all vice was reformed upon thc\r feeling the power of
these truths upon their hearts, so the external duties of Christiani-
ty were complied with, and conscientiously performed from the
same internal influence ; family prayer set up, and constantly
maintained, unless among some few more lately come, who had

326 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

felt little of this divine influence. This duty was constantly per-
formed, even in some families where there were none but females,
and scarce a prayerless person was to be found among near an
hundred of them. The Lord's day was seriously and religious-
ly observed, and care taken by parents to keep their children or-
derly upon that sacred day ; and this, not because I had driven
them to the performance of these duties, by frequently inculca-
ting them, but because they had felt the power of God's word
upon their hearts, — were made sensible of their sin and misery,
and thence could not but pray, and comply with every thing
which they knew to be their duty, from what they felt within
themselves. When their hearts were touched with a sense of
their eternal concerns, they could pray with great freedom, as
well as fervency, without being at the trouble first to learn set
forms for that purpose. Some of them, who were suddenly awa-
kened at their first coming among us, were brought to pray and
cry for mercy with the utmost importunity, without ever being
instructed in the duty of prayer, or so much as once directed to a
performance of it.

" The happy effects of these peculiar doctrines of grace, upon
which 1 have so much insisted upon this people, plainly discover,
even to demonstration, that, instead of their opening a door to li-
centiousness, as many vainly imagine, and slanderously insinuate,
they have a directly contrary tendency ; so that a close applica-
tion, a sense and feeling of them, will have the most powerful in-
fluence toward the renovation, and effectual reformation both of
heart and life.

" Happy experience, as well as the word of God, and the ex-
ample of Christ and his apostles, has taught me, that the very
method of preaching which is best suited to awaken in mankind a
sense and lively apprehension of their depravity and misery in a
fallen state, — to excite them earnestly to seek after a change of
heart, as to fly for refuge to free and sovereign grace in Christ as
the only hope set before them, is likely to be mosi successful in the
reformation of their external conduct. — I have found that close ad-
dresses, and solemn applications of divine iruth to the conscience,
strike at the root of all vice ; while smooth and plausible ha-
rangues upon moral virtues and external duties, at best are like to
do no more than lop off the branches of corruption, while the root
of all vice remains still untouched.

" A view of the blessed effect of honest endeavours to bring
home divine truths to the conscience, and duly to affect the heart
with them, has often reminded me of those words of our Lord,
which I have thought might be ^ proper exhortation for ministers
in respect of their treating with others, as well as for persons in

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 327

general with regard to themselves, " Cleanse first the inside of
the cup and platter, that the outside may be clean also." Cleanse,
says he, the inside, that the outside may be clean. As if he had
said, The only effectual way to have the outside clean, is to be-
gin with with what is within ; and if the fountain be purified, the
streams will naturally be pure. Most certain it is, if we can a-
waken in sinners a lively sense of their inward pollution and de-
pravity—their need of a change of heart— and so engage them to
seek after inward cleansing, their external defilement will natural-
ly be cleansed, their vicious ways of course be reformed, and
their conversation and behaviour become regular.

" Now, although I cannot pretend that the reformation among
my people, does, in every instance, spring from a saving change
of heart; yet I may truly say, it flows from some heart-affecting
view and sense of divine truths which all have had in a greater or
less degree. — I do not intend, by what I have observed here, to
represent the preaching of morality and pressing persons to the
external performance of duty, to be altogether unnecessary and
useless at any time; and especially at times when there is less of
divine power attending the means of grace; — when, for want of
internal influences, there is need of external restraints. It is
doubtless among the things that ** ought to be done," while " oth-
ers are not to be left undone." — But what I principally designed
by this remark, was to discover a plain matter of fact, viz. That
the reformation, the sobriety, and the external compliance with
the rules and duties of Christianity, appearing among my people,
are not the effect of any mere doctrinal instruction, or merely ra-
tional view of the beauty of morality, but from the internal pow-
er and influence which the soul humbling doctrines of grace have
had upon their hearts.

111. " On the Continuance, Renewal, and Quickness of the Work.

" It is remarkable, that God has so continued and renewed the
showers of his grace here ; — so quickly set up his visible kingdom
among these people ; and so smiled upon them in relation to their
acquirement of knowledge, both divine and human. It is now
nearly a year since the beginning of this gracious outpouring of
the divine Spirit among them ; and although it has often seemed
to decline and abate for some short space of time — as may be ob-
served by several passages of my Journal, where I have endeav-
oured to note things just as they appeared to me — yet the show-
er has seemed to be renewed, and the work of grace revived again.
A divine influence seems still apparently to attend the means of
grace, in a greater or less degree, in most of our meetings for re-
ligious exercises ; whereby religious persons are refreshed,
strengthened, and established, — convictions revived and promo-

328 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEUD.

ted in many instances, and some few persons newly awakened
from time to time. It must be acknowledged, that for some time
past, there has, in general, appeared a more manifest decline of
this work ; and the divine Spirit has seemed, in a considerable
measure, withdrawn, especially with regard to his awakening in-
fluence— so that the strangers who come latterly, are not seized
with concern as formerly ; and some few who have been much
affected with divine truths in time past, now appear less concern-
ed.— Yet. blessed be God, there is still an appearance of divine
power and grace, a desirable degree of tenderness, religious af-
fection and devotion in our assemblies.

" As God has continued and renewed the showers of his grace
among this people for some time; so he has with uncommon
quickness set up his visible kingdom, and gathered himself a
church in the midst of them. I have now baptized, since the con-
clusion of my last Journal, (or the First Part,) thirty persons, fif-
teen adults and fifteen children. Which added to the number
there mentioned, makes seventy-seven persons; whereof thirty-
eight are adults, and thirty-nine children ; and all within the
space of eleven months past. — It must be noted, that I have bap-
tized no adults, but such as appeared to have a work of special
grace wrought in their hearts ; I mean such as have had the expe-
rience not only of the awakening and humbling, but in a judg-
ment of charity, of the renewing and confirming influences of the
divine Spirit. There are many others under solemn concern for
their souls, who I apprehend, are persons of sufficient knowl-
edge, and visible seriousness, at present, to render them proper
subjects of the ordinance of baptism. Yet since they give no
comfortable evidence of a saving change, but only appear under
convictions of their sin and misery ; as the propensity in this peo-
ple to abuse themselves with strong drink is naturally very great;
and as some, who at present appear serious and concerned for
their souls, may lose their concern, and return to this sin, and so,
if baptized, prove a scandal to their profession; I have thought
proper hitherto to defer their baptism.

" I likewise administered the Lord's supper to a number of per-
sons, who I have abundant reason to think, as I elsewhere ob-
served, were proper subjects, of that ordinance, within the space
of ten months and ten days, after my first coming among these In-
dians in New-Jersey. From the time, when, as I am informed,
some of them attending an idolatrous feast and sacrifice in honour
to devils, to the time when they sat down at the Lord?s table, I
trust to the honour of God, was. not more than a full year. Sure-
ly Christ's little flock here, so suddenly gathered from among

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 329

Pagans, may justly say, in the language of the church of old,
" The Lord hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad."

" Much of the goodness of God has also appeared in relation
to their acquirement of knowledge, both in religion and in the af-
fairs of common life. There has been a wonderful thirst after
Christian knowledge prevailing among them in general, and an
eager desire of being instructed in Christian doctrines and man-
ners. This has prompted them to ask many pertinent as well as
important questions ; the answers to which have tended much to
enlighten their minds, and promote their knowledge in divine
things. Many of the doctrines which I have delivered, they have
queried with me about, in order to gain further light and insight
into them ; particularly the doctrine of predestination; and have
from time to time manifested a good understanding of them, by
their answers to the questions proposed to them in my chatecheti-
cal lectures.

" They have likewise queried with me, respecting a proper
method, as well as proper matter, of prayer, and expressions
suitable to be used in that religious exercise ; and have taken
pains in order to the performance of this duty with understand-
mg.—They have likewise taken pains, and appeared remarkably
apt in learning to sing Psalm-tunes, and are now able to sing with
a good degree of decency in the worship of God. — They have al-
so acquired a considerable degree of useful knowledge in the af-
fairs of common life ; so that they now appear like rational crea-
tures, fit for human society, free of that savage roughness and
brutish stupidity, which rendered them very disagreeable in their
Pagan state.

" They seem ambitious of a thorough acquaintance with the
English language, and for that end frequently speak it among
themselves. Many of them have made good proficiency in their
acquirement of it, since my coming among them ; so that most
of them can understand a considerable part, and some the
substance of my discourses, without an interpreter, being used to
my low and vulgar methods of expression, though they could not
well understand other ministers.

' As they are desirous of instruction, and surprisingly apt in
the reception of it, so divine Providence has smiled upon them
with regard to the proper means in order to it. The attempts
made for the procurement of a school among them have been
succeeded, and a kind providence has sent them a schoolmaster
ol whom I may justly say, I know of "no man like minded, who
will naturally care for their state."— He has generally thirty or
thirty-five children in his school : and when he kept an evening

330 MEMOIRS OF feRAINERD.

school, as he did while the length of the evenings would admit of
it, he had fifteen or tzoenty people, married and single.

"The children Ifearn with surprising readiness; so that their
master tells me, lie never had an English school which learned,
in general, comparably so fast. There were not above two in
thirty, although some of them were very small, but that learned
to know all the letters in the alphabet distinctly, within three days
after his entrance upon his business ; and several in that space of
time learned to spell considerably. Some of them, since the be-
ginning of February last,* when the school was set up, have learn-
ed so much, that they are able to read in a Psalter or Testament^
without spelling.

" They are instructed twice a week in the Assembly's Shorter
Catechism, on Wednesday and Saturday. Some of them, since
the latter end of February, when they began, have learned to
say it pretty distinctly by heart considerably more than halt
through ; and most of them have made some proficiency in it.

" They are likewise instructed in the duty of secret prayer,
and most of them constantly attend it night and morning, and are
very careful to inform their master if they apprehend that any of
their little school-mates neglect that religious exercise.
IV. " On the little Appearance of False Religion.
" It is worthy to be noted, to" the praise of sovereign grace, that
amidst so great a work of conviction — so much concern and reli-
gious affection — there has been wo prevalence, nor indeed any
considerable appearance of false religion, if I may so term it, or
heats of imagination, intemperate zeal, and spiritual pride ;
which corrupt mixtures too often attend the revival and powerful
propagation of religion ; and that there have been very few in-
stances of irregular and scandalous behaviour among those who
have appeared serious. 1 may justly repeat what I formerly ob-
served, that there has here been no appearance of ' bodily ago-
nies, convulsions, frightful screamings, swoonings," and the
like;" and may now further add, that there has been no preva-
lence of xk'ions, trances, and imaginations of any kind ; although
there has been some appearance of something of that nature; an
instance of which 1 have given an account of in my Diary for De-
cember 26.

" But this work of grace has, in the main, been carried on with
a surprising degree of purity, and freedom from trash and corrupt
mixture. The religious concern under which persons have been,
has generally been rational wAjust ; arising from a sense of their
sins and exposedness to the divine displeasure on account of

* In less than five months, viz. from Feb. 1, to June 19.

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 331

them i as well as their utter inability to deliver themselves from
the misery which they felt and feared. If there has been, in any
instance, an appearance of concern and perturbation of mind,
when the subjects of it knew not why ; yet there has been no
prevalence of any such thing ; and indeed I scarcely know of any
instance of that nature at all.— It is very remarkable, that, al-
though the concern of many persons under convictions of their
perishing state has been very great and pressing, yet 1 have never
seen any thing like desperation attending it in any one instance.
They have had the most lively sense of their undoneness in them-
selves ; have been brought to give up all hopes of deliverance
from themselves; have 'experienced great distress and anguish of
soul ; and yet, in the seasons of the greatest extremity, there has
been no appearance of despair in any of them, — nothing that has
discouraged, or in any wise hindered them from the mostdihgent
use of alfproper means for their conversion and salvation. Hence
it is apparent, that there is not that danger of persons being driv-
en into despair under spiritual trouble, unless in cases of deep
and habitual melancholy, which the world in general is ready to
imagine.

41 The comfort which persons have obtained after their dis-
tresses, has likewise in general appeared solid, well grounded,
and scriptural ; arising from a spiritual and supernatural illumina-
tion of mind, — a view of divine things, in a measure, as they are,
— a complacency ofsoul hi the divine perfections, — and a pecu-
liar satisfaction in the way of salvation by free sovereign grace in
the great Redeemer.

" Their joys have seemed to rise from a variety of views and
considerations of divine things, although for substance the same.
Some, who under conviction seemed to have the hardest struggles
and heart-risings against the divine sovereignty, have seemed, at
the first dawn of their comfort, to rejoice in a peculiar manner in
that divine perfection : — and have been delighted to think that
themselves, and all things else, were in the hand of God, and that
he would dispose of them "just as he pleased."

" Others, who just before their reception of comfort, have
been remarkably oppressed with a sense of their undoneness and
poverty, who have seen themselves, as it were, falling down into
remediless perdition, have been at first more peculiarly delight-
ed with a view of the freeness and riches of divine grace, and the
offer of salvation made to perishing sinners " without money, and
without price."

" Some have at first appeared to rejoice especially in the ivisdom
of God, discovered in the way of salvation by Christ; it then ap-
pearing to them " a new and living way," a way of which they

332 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

had never thought, nor had any just conceptions, until opened to
them by the special influence of the divine Spirit. Some of them,
upon a lively spiritual view of this way of salvation, have won-
dered at their past folly in seeking salvation in other ways, and
have wondered that they never saw this way of salvation before,
which now appeared so plain and easy, as well as excellent to
them.

" Others, again, have had a more general view of the beauty
and excellency of Christ, and have had their souls delighted with
an apprehension of his divine glory, as unspeakably exceeding all
of which they had ever conceived before ; yet, without singling
out any one of the divine perfections in particular; so that: al-
though their comforts have seemed to arise from a variety of
views and considerations of divine glories, still they were spiritual
and supernatural views of them, and not groundless fancies, which
were the spring of their joys and comforts.

; Yet it must be acknowledged, that, when this work became
so universal and prevalent, and gained such general credit and es-
teem among the Indians as Satan seemed to have little advantage
of working against it in his own proper garb, he then transformed
himself " into an angel of light," and made some vigorous at-
tempts to introduce turbulent commotions of the passions in the
room of genuine convictions of sin, imaginary and fanciful notions
of Christ, as appearing to the mental eye in a human shape, and
in some particular postures, kc. in the room of spiritual and su-
pernatural discoveries of his divine glory and excellency, as well
as divers other delusions. I have reason to think, that, if these
things had met with countenance and encouragement, there would
have been a very considerable harvest of this kind of convert.--
here.

" Spiritual pride also discovered itself in various instances.
Some persons who had been under great affections, seemed very
desirous from thence of being thought truly gracious : who, when
I could not but express to them my fears respecting their spiritual
state, discovered their resentments to a considerable decree upon
that occasion, lhere also appeared in one or two of them an un-
becoming ambition of being teachers of others. So that Satan.
has been a busy adversary here, as well as eiscwh'-re. Eut bles-
sed be God, though something of this nature has appeared, yet
nothing of it has prevailed, nor indeed made any considerable
progress at ail. My people are now apprised of these things, are
made acquainted, that Satan in such a manner " transformed
himself into an angel of light," in the first season of the great out-
pouring of the divine Spirit in the days of the apostles ; and that
something of this nature, in a greater or less degree, has attended

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 333

almost every revival and remarkable propagation of true religion
ever since. They have learned so to distinguish between the
gold and dross, that the credit of the latter " is trodden down like
{he mire of the streets ;" and, as it is natural for this kind of stuff
to die with its credit, there is now scarce any appearance of it
among them.

" As there has been no prevalence of irregular heats, imagina-
ry notions, spiritual pride, and Satanical delusions among my
people ; so there have been very few instances of scandalous and
irregidar behaviour among those who have made a profession, or
even an appearance of seriousness. I do not know of more than
three or four such persons who have been guilty of any open mis-
conduct, since their first acquaintance with Christianity ; antlnot
one who persists in any thing of that nature. Perhaps the re-
markable purity of this work in the latter respect, its freedom
from frequent instances of scandal, is very much owing to its pu-
rity in the former respect, its freedom from corrupt mixtures of
spiritual pride, wild-tire, and delusion, which naturally lay a
foundation for scandalous practices.

"May this blessed work in the power and purity of it prevail
among the poor Indians here, as well as spread elsewhere, till
their remotest tribes shall see the salvation of God ! Amen."*

* " Money collected and expended for the Indians. — As mention has been made in
the preceding Diary, of an English school erected and continued amoug these In-
dians, dependent entirely upon charity ; and as collections have already been made
in divers places for the support of it, as well as for defraying other charges which
have necessarily arisen in the promotion of the religious interests of the Indians ; it
may he satisfactory, and perhaps will be thought by some but apiece of justice
to the world, that an exact account be here given of the money already received
by way of collection for the benefit of the Indians, and the mariner in which it has
been expended.

The following is therefore a just account of this matter : —
Money received since October last, by way of public collection, for promoting the
religious interests of the Indians in New- Jersey, viz.

£. 5. d.

From New- York

Jamaica on Loug-Island ....

Elizabeth-Town

Elizabeth-Town Farms

Newark .....

Woodbridge ....

Morris-Town . .

Freehold ....

Freehold Dutch congregation
Shrewsbury and Shark-river
Middle-Town Dutch congregation
The Dutch congregation in andaboutN. Brunswick 3
KingVTown ....

Neshaminy, and places adjacent in Pennsylvania
Abington and New-Providence, by the hand of
the Rev. Mr. Treat

The whole amounting to £100 0 0

334 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Money paid out since October last for promoting the religious interests of the In-
dians in New-Jersey, viz.

£. s. d.

Upon the occasion mentioned in my Journal of Jan. 28 Ii2 5 0

For the building of a school-house . • • 3 5 0
To the schoolmaster as a part of his reward for his present

year's service . . . • . 17 10 0

For books lor the children to learn in . . 3 0 0

The whole amounting to £106 0 0

DAVID BRAINERD'

CHAPTER X.

General Remarks on the Work of Grace at Crossweeksung con-
tinned. — Introduction. — Method of learning the Indian Lan-
guage.— Method of Instructing the Indians. — Difficulties in the
way in converting them to Christianity. — Attestations of neigh-
bouring Ministers, Elders and Deacons to the Display of Di-
vine grace at Crossweeksung.

" I should have concluded what I had at present to offer, upon
the affairs respecting my mission, with the preceding account of
the money collected and expended for the religious interests of
the Indians, but that I have not long since received from the Rev.
President of the correspondents, the copy of a letter directed to
him from the Hon. Society for propagating Christian knowledge,
dated Edinburgh, March 21, 1745. Wherein I find it is express-
ly enjoined upon their missionaries, " That they give an exact
account of the methods they make use of for instructing them-
selves in the Indians' language, and what progress they have al-
ready made in it 5 of what methods they are now taking to instruct
the Indians in the principles of our holy religion ; and particular-
ly of what difficulties they have already met with, and of the
methods they make use of for surmounting the same."

" As to the two former of these particulars, I trust that what I
have already noted in my communications from time to time,
might have been in good measure satisfactory to the Hon. Socie-
ty, had they arrived safely and seasonably ; which I am sensible
they have not in general done, by reason of their falling into the
hands of the enemy ; although I have been at the pains of send-
ing two copies of each, for more than two years past, lest one
might miscarry in the passage. With relation to the latter of
these particulars, I have purposely omitted saying any thing con-
siderable, and that for these two reasons. First, because J couM
not oftentimes give any tolerable account of the difficulties which
I met with in my work, without speaking somewhat particularly
of the causes of them, and the circumsta nets conducing to them,
which would necessarily have rendered my journals very tedious.
Besides, some of the causes of my difficulties, 1 thought more fit
to be concealed than divulged. Secondly, because I thought that
a frequent mention of the difficulties attending my work, might
appear an unbecoming complaint under my burdens ; or as if I
would rather be thought to be endowed with a singular measure
of self-denial, constancy, and holy resolution, to meet and con-

336 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

front so many difficulties, and yet to hold on and go forward a-
midst them all. But since the Honourable Society are pleased
to require a more exact and particular account of these things, I
shall cheerfully endeavour something for their satisfaction in rela-
tion to each of these particulars ; although with regard to the lat-
ter, I am ready to say, Infandwn — juhes renovare delorem.

SECT. J.

" Method of learning the Indian Language.

"'The most successful method which I have taken for instruct-
in^ myself in any of the Indian languages, is, to translate English
discourses by the help of an interpreter or two, into their lan-
guage, as near verbatim as the sense will admit of, and to ob-
serve strictly how they use words, and what construction they
will bear in various cases ; and thus to gain some acquaintance
with the root from whence particular words proceed, and to see
how they are thence varied and diversified. But here occurs a
very great difficulty ; for the interpreters being unlearned, and
unacquainted with the rules of language, it is impossible some-
times to know by them what part of speech some particular word
is of. whether noun, verb, or participle; for they seem to use
participles sometimes where Ave should use nouns, and sometimes
where we should use verbs in the English language.

" But I have, notwithstanding many difficulties, gained some
acquaintance with the grounds of the Delaware language, and
have learned most of the defects in it ; so that I know what Eng-
lish words can, and what cannot be translated into it. I have al-
so gained some acquaintance with the particular phraseologies,
as well as peculiarities of their language, one of which I cannot
but mention. Their language does not admit of their speaking
any word denoting relation, such as, father, son, kc. absolutely ;
that is, without prefixing a pronoun-possessive to it, such as my,
thy, his, fyc. Hence they cannot be baptized in their own lan-
guage in the name of the Father, and the Son, &c. ; but they may
be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ and his Father, &c. I
have gained so much knowledge of their language, that I can un-
derstand a considerable part of what they say, when they dis-
course upon divine things, and am frequently able to correct my
interpreter, if he mistakes my sense. But I can do nothing to
any purpose at speaking the language myself.

" As an apology for this defect, I must renew, or rather enlarge
my former complaint, viz. : — That ' while so much of my time is

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 337

necessarily consumed in journeying,' while I am obliged to ride
four thousand miles a year, as I have done in the year past, ' I
can have little left for any of my necessary studies, and conse-
quently for the study of the Indian languages.' This, I may ven-
ture to say, is the great, if not the only reason why the Delaware
language is not familiar to me before this time. It is impossible
that 1 should ever be able to speak it without close application,
for which, at present, I see no prospect of having time. To
preach and catechise frequently ; to converse privately with per-
sons who need so much instruction and direction as these poor
Indians do ; to take care of all their secular affairs, as if they
were a company of children ; to ride about frequently in order to
procure collections for the support of the school, and for their
help and benefit in other respects ; to hear and decide all the
petty differences which arise among any of them ; and to have
the constant oversight and management of all their affairs of ev-
ery kind ; must needs engross most of my time, and leave me lit-
tle for application to the study of the Indian languages. When I
add to this the time that is necessarily consumed upon my Diary,
I must say I have little to spare for other business. I have not,
as was observed before, sent to the Hon. Society less than two
copies of every journal, for more than two years past; most of
which, 1 suppose, have been taken by the French in their pas-
sage. A third copy I have constantly kept by me, lest the others
should miscarry. This has caused me not a little labour, and so
straitened me for time, when I have been at liberty from other
business, and had opportunity to sit down to write, which is but
rare, that 1 have been obliged to write tvveive and thirteen hours
in a day ; till my spirits have been extremely wasted, and my life
almost spent, to get these writings accomplished. After ail ; af-
ter diligent application to the various parts of my work, and after
the most industrious improvement of time, of which I am capa-
ble, both early and late, I cannot oftentimes possibly gain two
hours in a week for reading, or any other studies, unless just for
what appears, of absolute necessity for the present. Frequently
when I attempt to redeem time, by sparing it out of my sleeping
hours, I am by that means thrown under bodily indisposition, and
rendered fit for nothing. — This is truly my present state, and is
like to be so, for aught I can see, unless I could procure an assist-
ant in my work, or quit my present business.

" Although I have not made that proficiency which I could
wish to have made, in learning the Indian languages ; yet I have
used all endeavours to instruct them in the English tongue; which
perhaps will be more advantageous to the Christian interest
among them, than if I should preach in their own language ; for

33b MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

that is very defective, as I shall hereafter observe, so that many
things cannot be communicated to them without introducing Eng-
lish terms. Besides, they can have no books translated into their
language, without great difficulty and expense ; and if still accus-
tomed to their own language only, they would have no advantage
of hearing other ministers occasionally, or in my absence. S&
that my having a perfect acquaintance with the Indian language,
would be of no great importance with regard to this congregation
of Indians in New-Jersey, although it might be of great service to
me in treating with the Indians elsewhere.

SECT. II.

■• Method of instructing the Indians.

'•'' The method which I am taking to instruct the Indians in the
principles of our holy religion, are, to preach, or open and im-
prove some particular points of doctrine ; to expound particular
paragraphs, or sometimes whole chapters of God's word to them ;
to give historical relations from scripture of the most material and
remarkable occurrences relating to the church of God from the
beginning ; and frequently to catechise them upon the principles
of Christianity. The latter of these methods of instructing, I
manage in a twofold manner. I sometimes catechise systemati-
cally, proposing questions agreeably to the Assembly's Shorter
Catechism. This I have carried to a considerable length. At
other times I catechise upon any important subject which I think
difficult to them. Sometimes, when 1 have discoursed upon some
particular point, and made it as plain and familiar to them as I
can, I then catechise them upon the most material branches of
my discourse, to see whether they had a thorough understanding
of it. But as I have catechised chiefly in a systematical form, I
shall here give some specimen of the method I make use of in it,
as well as of the propriety and justness of my people's answers to
the questions proposed to them.

''Questions upon the benefits believers receive from Christ at death-

Q. " I have shewn you, that the children of God receive a great
many good things from Christ while they live, now have they any
more to receive when they come to die 1 A. Yes.

Q. Are the children of God then made perfectly free from sin y

A. Yes.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 339

Q. Do you think they will never more be troubled with vain,
foolish, and wicked thoughts ? A. No, never at all.

Q. Will they not then be like the good angels I have so often
told you of? A. Yes.

Q. And do you call this a great mercy to be freed from all sin ?

A. Yes.

Q. Do all God's children count it so?

A. Yes, all of them.

Q. Do you think this is what they would ask for above all
things, if God should say to them, Ask what you will, and it shall
be done for you ?

A. O yes, besure, this is what they want.

Q. You say the souls of God's people at death are made per-
fectly free from sin, where do they go then?

A. They go and live with Jesus Christ.

Q. Does Christ shew them more respect and honour, and make
them more happy* than we can possibly think of in this world ?

A. Yes.

Q. Do they go immediately to live with Christ in heaven, as
soon as their bodies arc dead ? or do they tarry somewhere else
a while ?

A. They go immediately to Christ.

Q. Does Christ take any care of the bodies of his people when
they are dead, and their souls gone to heaven, or does he forget
them ? A. He takes care of them.

" These questions were all answered with surprising readi-
ness, and without once missing, as I remember. In answering
several of them, which respected deliverance from sin, they were
much affected, and melted with the hopes of that happy state."

" Questions upon the benefits which believers receive from Christ at

the. resurrection.

Q. You see 1 have already shewn you what good things Christ
gives his good people while they live, and when they come to die :
now, will he raise their bodies, and the bodies of others, to life
again at the last day ?

A. Yes, they shall all be raised.

Q. Shall they then have the same bodies they now have?

A. Yes.

*The only wav I have to express their " entering into glory," or being glorified ;
.here being no word in the Indian language answering to that general terni.

310 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

Q. Will their bodies then be weak, will they feel coid, hunger,
thirst, and weariness, as they now do ?

A, No, none of these things.

Q. Will their bodies ever die any more after they are raised to
life ? A. No.

Q. Will their souls and bodies be joined together again ?

A. Yes.

Q. Will God's people be more happy then, than they were
while their bodies were asleep ? A. Yes.

Q. Will Christ then own these to be his people before all the
world 1 A. Yes.

Q. But God's people find so much sin in themselves, that they
are often ashamed ofthemselves, and will not Christ be ashamed
to own such for his friends at that day ?

A. No, he never will be ashamed of them.

Q. Will Christ then show all the world, that he has put away
these people's sins.* and that he looks upon them as if they had
never sinned at all ? A. Yes.

Q. W ill he look upon them as if they had never sinned, for the
sake of any good things they have done themselves, or for the
sake of his righteousness accounted to them as if it was theirs ?

A. For the sake of his righteousness counted to them, not for
their own goodness.

Q. AVill God's children then be as happy as they can desire to
be ? A. Yes.

Q. The children of God while in this world, can but now and
then draw near to him, and they are ready to think they can nev-
er have enough of God and Christ, but will they have enough
there, as much as they can desire ?

A. O yes, enough, enough.

Q. Will the children of God love him then as much as they
desire, will they find nothing to hinder their love from going to
hi-

A. Nothing at all, they shall love him as much as they desire.

Q. Will they never be weary of God and Christ, and the pleas-
ures of heaven, so as we are weary of our friends and enjoyments
here, after we have been pleased with them a while ?

A. No, never.

Q. Could God's people be happy if they knew God loved
them, and yet felt at the same time that they could not love and
honour him? A. No, no.

* The only way I have to express their being openly— acquitted. In like manner,
when I speak of justification, I have no other way but to call it God's lookin- upon
us as good creatures. ° r

3TEM0IRS OF BRAINERD. 341

Q. Will this then make God's people perfectly happy, to love
God above all, to honour him continually, and to feel his love to
them? A. Yes.

Q. And will this happiness last for ever?

A. Yes, for ever, for ever.

" These questions, like the former, were aswered withou t hesi-
tation or missing, as I remember, in any one instance."

" Questions vpon the duty which God requires of men.

Q. Has God let us know any thing of his will, or what he would
have us to do to please him ? A. Yes.

Q. And does he require us to do his will, and to please him ?

A. Yes.

Q. Is it right that God should require this of us, has he any
business to command us as a father does his children ?

A. Yes.

Q. Why is it right that God should command us to do what he
pleases ?

A. Because he made us, and gives us all our good things.

Q. Does God require us to do any thing that will hurt us, and
take away our comfort and happiness? A. No.

Q. But God requires sinners to repent and be sorry for their
sins, and to have their hearts broken ; now, does not this hurt
them, and take away their comfort, to be made sorry, and to have
their hearts broken ?

A. No, it does them good.

Q. Did God teach man his will at first by writing it down in a
book, or did he put it into his heart, and teach him without a book
what was right ?

A. He put it into his heart, and made him know what he
should do.

Q. Has God since that time writ down his will in a book ?
A. Yes.

Q. Has God written his whole will in his book ; has he there
told us all that he would have us believe and do ?

A. Yes.

Q. What need was there of this book, if God at first put his
will into the heart of man, and made him feel what he should do ?

A. There was need of it, because we have sinned, and made
our hearts blind.

Q. And has God writ down the same things in his book, that he
at first put into the heart of man ? A. Yes.

342 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

" In this manner I endeavour to adapt my instructions to the
capacities of my people ; although they may perhaps seem strange
to others who have never experienced the difficulty of the work.
These, of which I have given an account, are the methods I am
from time to time pursuing, in order to instruct them in the prin-
ciples of Christianity. I think I may say, it is my great concern
that these instructions he given them in such a manner, that they
may not only be doctrinally taught, but duly affected thereby ;
that divine truths may come to them, "not in word only, but in
power, and in the Holy Ghost," and be received " not as the word
of

man.

SECT. III.

" Difficulties attending the Christianizing of the Indians — First
Difficulty, the rooted aversion to Christianity that generally pre-
vails among them.

" I shall now attempt something with relation to the last par-
ticular required by the Honourable Society in their letter, viz.
To give some account of the " difficulties 1 have already met with
in my work, and the methods I make use of for surmounting the
same."

I. " I have met with great difficulty in my work among these
Indians, "from the rooted aversion to Christianity zvhich general-
ly prevails among them.'''' They are jiot only brutishly stupid
and ignorant of divine things, but many of them are obstinate-
ly set against Christianity, and seem to abhor even the Christian
name.

" This aversion to Christianity arises partly from a view of the
i{ immorality and vicious behaviour of many who are called chris-
tians." They observe that horrid wickedness in nominal chris-
tians, which the light of nature condemns in themselves ; and not
having distinguishing views of things, are ready to look upon all
the while people alike, and to condemn them alike, for the abom-
inable practices of some. — Hence, when I have attempted to treat
with them about Christianity, they have frequently objected the
scandalous practices of christians. They have observed to me,
that the white people lie, defraud, steal, and drink worse than the
Indians; that they have taught the Indians these things, especial-
ly the latter of them; who before the coming of the English,
knew of no such thing as strong drink ; that the English have, by
these means, made them quarrel and kill one another; and, in a
word, brought them to the practice of all those vices which now

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 343

prevail among them. So that they are now vastly more vicious,
as well as much more miserable, than they were before the com-
ing of the white people into the country. — These, and such like
objections, they frequently make against Christianity, which are
not easily answered to their satisfaction ; many of them be'u\v facts
too notoriously true.

" The only way I have to take in order to surmount this diffi-
culty, is to distinguish between nominal and real christians ; and
to shew them, that the ill conduct of many of the former pro-
ceeds not from their being christians, but from their being chris-
tians only in name, not in heart. To this it has sometimes been
objected, that, if all those who will cheat the Indians are chris-
tians only in name, there are but few left in the country to be
christians in heart. This, and many other of the remarks they
pass upon the white people, and their miscarriages, I am forced
to own, and cannot but grant, that many nominal christians are
more abominably wicked than the Indians. But then I attempt
to show them, that there are some who feel the power of Chris-
tianity, and that these are not so. I ask them, when they ever
saw me guilty of the vices of which they complain, and with
which they charge Christians in general ? But still the great
difficulty is, that the people who live back in the country nearest
to them, and the traders who go among them, are generally of the
most irreligious and vicious sort; and the conduct of one or two
persons, be it never so exemplary, is not sufficient to counterbal-
ance the vicious behaviour of so many of the same denomination,
and so to recommend Christianity to Pagans.

" Another thing which serves to make them more averse t&
Christianity, is a ' fear of being enslaved.' They are, perhaps,
some of the most jealous people living, and extremely averse to
a state of servitude; and hence are always afraid of some design
forming against them. Besides, they seem to have no sentiments
of generosity, benevolence, and goodness. If any thing be pro-
posed to them, as being for their good, they are ready rather to
suspect, that there is at bottom some design forming against them,
than that such proposals flow from good will to them, and a desire
of their welfare. Hence, when I have attempted to recommend
Christianity to their acceptance, they have sometimes objected,
that the white people have come among them, have cheated them
out of their lands, and driven them back to the mountains, from
the pleasant places they used to enjoy by the sea-side ; that there-
fore they have no reason to think the white people are now seek-
ing their welfare ; but rather that they have sent me out to draw
them together, under a pretence of kindness to them, that they
may have an opportunity to make slaves of them, as they do of

344 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

the poor negroes, or else to ship them on board their vessels, and
make them fight with their enemies. Thus they have oftentimes
construed all (he kindness I could shew them, and the hardships I
have endured in order to treat with them about Christianity. —
' He never would, say they, take all this pains to do us good ; he
must have some wicked design to hurt us some way or other/
To give them assurance of the contrary, is not an easy matter ;
while there are so many, who, agreeable to their apprehension,
are only ' seeking their own,' not the good of others.

" To remove this difficulty, I inform them, that I am not sent
out among them by those persons in these provinces, who they sup-
post, have cheated them out of their lands ; but by pious people
at a great distance, who never had an inch of their lands, nor ev-
er thought of doing them any hurt.

" But here will arise so many frivolous and impertinent ques-
tions, that it would tire one's patience, and wear out one's spirits
to hear them ; such as, " But why did not these good people send
you to teach us before, while we had our lands down by the sea-
side. If they had sent you then, we should likely have heard
you, and turned Christians. The poor creatures still imagining,
that I should be much beholden to them, in case they would hear-
ken to Christianity ; and insinuating, that this was a favour they
could not now be so good as to shew me, seeing they had received
so many injuries from the white people.

" Another spring of aversion to Christianity in the Indians, is
* their strong attachment to their own religious notions, if they may
be called religious, and the early prejudices which they have im-
bibed in favour of their own frantic and ridiculous kind of wor-
ship.' What their notions of God are, in their Pagan state, is
hard precisely to determine. I have taken much pains to inquire
of my christian people, whether they, before their acquaintance
with Christianity, imagined that there was a plurality- of great in-
visible powers, or whether they supposed but one such being, and
worshipped him in a variety of forms and shapes ; but cannot learn
any thing of them so distinct as to be fully satisfied upon the point.
Their notions in that state were so prodigiously dark and confus-
ed, that they seemed not to know what they thought themselves.
But so far as I can learn, they had a notion of a plurality of invis-
ible deities, and paid some kind of homage to them promiscuous-
ly, under a great variety of forms and shapes. It is certain, that
those who yet remain Pagans, pay some kind of superstitious rev-
erence to beasts, birds, fishes, and even reptiles: that is, some to
one kind of animal, and some to another. They do not indeed
suppose a divine power essential to, or inhering in, these crea-
tures ; but that some invisible beings — I cannot learn that it is a!-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 345

ways one such being only, but divers; not distinguished from each
other by certain names, but only notionally ; — communicate to
those animals a great power ; either one or other of them, just as
it happens, or perhaps sometimes all of them ; and so make these
creatures the immediate authors of good to certain persons. —
Whence such a creature becomes sacred to the persons to whom
he is supposed to be the immediate author of good, and through
him they must worship the invisible powers, though to others he
is no more than another creature. Perhaps another animal is
looked upon to be the immediate author of good to another ; and
consequently he must worship the invisible powers in that animal.
I have known a Pagan burn fine tobacco for incense, in order to
appease the anger of that invisible power, which he supposed
presided over rattle-snakes, because one of these animals was
killed by another Indian near his house.

" After the strictest inquiry respecting their notions of the De-
ity, I find, that in ancient times, before the coming of the white
people, some supposed that there werefoyr invisible powers, who
presided over the four corners of (he earth. Others imagined
the sun to be the only deity, and that all things were made by
him. Others, at the same time, have a confused notion of a cer-
tain body or fountain of deity, somewhat like the anima mundi, so
frequently mentioned by the more learned ancient Heathens, dif-
fusing itself to various animals, and even to inanimate tilings, ma-
king them the immediate authors of good to certain persons, as
before observed, with respect to various supposed deities. But
after the coming of the white people, they seemed to suppose
there were three deities, and three only, because they saw peo-
ple of three different kinds of complexion, viz. English, Negroes,
and Indians.

" It is a notion pretty generally prevailing among them, that it
was not the same God made them, who made us ; but that they
were made after the white people ; which further shews, that
they imagine a plurality of divine powers. I fancy that they sup-
pose their God gained some special skill by seeing the white peo-
ple made, and so made them better ; for it is certain they look up-
on themselves, and their method of living, which, they say, their
God expressly prescribed for them, vastly preferable to the white
people, and their method. Hence they will frequently sit and
laugh at the whites, as being good for nothing else but to plow
and fatigue themselves with hard labour; while they enjoy' the
satisfaction of stretching themselves on the ground, and sleeping
as much as they please; and have no other trouble but now atid
then to chase the deer, which is often attended with pleasure
rather than pain. Hence, by the way, rnanv of them look upon

34G MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

it to be as disgraceful for them to become christians, as it would
be esteemed among christians for any to become Pagans. They
suppose our religion will do well enough for us, because prescri-
bed by our God ; yet it is no way proper for them, because not oi
the same make and original. This they have sometimes offered
as a reason why they did not incline to hearken to Christianity.

" They seem to have some confused notion about a future state
of existence, and many^f them imagine that the chichung, i. e. the
shadow, or what survives the body, will at death go southward,
and in an unknown but curious place, will enjoy some kind of
happiness, such as, hunting, feasting, dancing, and the like. What
they suppose will contribute much to their happiness in that state
is, that they shall never be weary of those entertainments. It
seems by this notion of their going southward to obtain happiness,
as if they had their course into these parts of the world from some
very cold climate, and found the further they went southward the
more comfortable they were ; and thence concluded, that perfect
felicity was to be found further towards the same point.

" They seem to have some faint and glimmering notion about
rewards and punishments, or at least happiness and misery in a fu-
ture state ; that is, some with whom I have conversed ; though
others seem to know of no such thing. Those who suppose this,
seem to imagine that most will be happy ; and that those who
are not so, will be punished only with privution, being only ex-
cluded the walls of that good world, where happy souls shall
dwell.

" These rewards and punishments they suppose to depend en-
tirely upon their conduct with relation to the duties of the second
table, i. e. their behaviour towards mankind ; and seem, so far as
I can see, not to imagine that they have any reference to their re-
ligious notions or practices, or any thing that relates to the wor-
ship of God. I remember I once consulted a very ancient, but
intelligent Indian upon this point, for my own satisfaction ; and
asked him whether the Indians of old times had supposed there
was any thing of the man that would survive the body ? He re-
plied, Yes. I asked him, where he supposed its abode would be ?
He replied, " It would go southward." 1 a?ked him further,
whether it would be happy there ? He answered, after a consid-
erable pau^e. " that the souls of good folks would be happy, and
the souls of bad folks miserable." I then asked him. whom he
called bad folks? His answer, as I remember, was. " Those who
lie, steal, quarrel with their neighbours, are unkind to their
friends, and especially to aged parents, and. in a word, such as are
a plague to mankind." These were his bad foil's ; but not a

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 347

word was said about their neglect of divine worship, and their
badness in that respect.

"They have indeed some kind of religions worship, are fre-
quently offering sacrifices to some supposed invisible powers, and
are very ready'to impute their calamities hi the present world, to
the neglect of these sacrifices ; but there is no appearance of rev-
erence and devotion in the homage which they pay them ; and
what they do of this nature, seems to be done only to appease the
supposed anger of their deities, to engage them to be placate to
themselves, and do them no hurt, or at most, only to invite these
potuers to succeed them in those enterprises they are engaged in
respecting the present life. So that in offering these sacrifices,
they seem to have no reference to a future state, but only to pres-
ent comfort. This is the account my interpreter always gives me
of this matter. " They sacrifice, says he. that they may have
success in hunting and other affairs, and that sickness and other
calamities may not .bcfal them, which they fear m the present
world, in case of neglect ; but they do not suppose God will eve-
punish them in the coming world for neglecting to sacrifice. In-
deed they seem to imagine, that those whom they call bad folks,
are excluded from the company of good people in that state, not
=0 much because God remembers, and is determined to punish
thorn for their sins of any kind, either immediately against him-
self or their neighbour, as because they would be a plague to so-
ciety, and would render others unhappy if admitted to dwell with
them. So that they are excluded rather of neccessity, than by
God acting as a righteous judge.

" They give much heed to dreams, because they suppose these
invisible powers give them directions at such times about certain
affairs, and sometimes inform them what animal they would choose
to be worshipped in. They are likewise much attached to the
traditions and fabulous notions of their fathers ; who have inform-
ed them of divers miracles that were anciently wrought among the
Indians, which they firmly believe, and thence look upon their
ancestors to have been the best of men. They also mention some
wonderful things which, they say, have happened since the mem-
ory of some who are now living.. One I remember affirmed to
me that himself had once been dead four days, that most of his
friends in that time were gathered together to his funeral, and
that he should have been buried, but that some of his relations at
a great distance, who were sent for upon that occasion were not
arrived, before whose coming he came to life again. In this
time, he says, he went to the place where the sun rises ; imagin-
ing the earth to be a plain ; and directly over that place, at a great
height in the air. he was admitted, he says, into a great house,

348 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

which he supposes was several miles in length, and saw man)
wonderful things, too tedious as well as ridiculous to mention.—
Another person, a woman, whom 1 have not seen, but of whom I
have been credibly informed by the Indians, declares, that she
was dead several days, that her soul went southward, and feasted
and danced with the happy spirits, and that she found ail things
exactly agreeable to the Indian notions of a future state. To
these superstitious notions and traditions, and to this ridiculous
worship they are extremely attached ; and the prejudice which
they have imbibed in favour of these things, renders them not a
little averse to the doctrines of Christianity. Some of them have
told me, when I have endeavoured to instruct them, "that their
fathers had taught them already, and that they did not want to
learn now."

"It will be too tedious to give any considerable account of the
methods I make use of for surmounting this difficulty. I will just
say, I endeavour, as much as possible, to shew them the incon-
sistency of their own notions, and so to confound them out of their
own mouths. I must also say, I have sometimes been almost
nonplussed with them, and scarcely knew what to answer them ;
but never have been more perplexed with them, than when they
have pretended to yield to me as knowing more than they, and
consequently have asked me numbers of impertinent, and yet
difficult questions, as, " How the Indians came first into this
part of the world, away from all the white people, if what I said
was true," viz. that the sa?ne God made them who made us ?
" How the Indians became black, if they had the same original
parents with the n-hite people ?" And numbers more of the like
nature.— These things, I must say, have been not a little difficult
and discouraging, especially when withal some of the Indians
have appeared angry and malicious against Christianity.

"What further contributes to their aversion to Christianity is.
the influence which their powaws (conjurers or diviners) have upon
them. These are a sort of persons who are supposed to have a
power of foretelling future events, or recovering the sick, at least
oftentimes, and of charming, inchanting, or poisoning persons to
death by their magic divinations. Their spirit, in° its various
operations, seems to be a Satanical imitation of the spirit of
prophecy with which the church in early ages was favoured.
Some of these diviners are endowed with the spirit in infancy; —
others in adult age. — It seems not to depend upon their own will,
nor to be acquired by any endeavours of the person who is the
subject of it, although it is supposed to be given to children some-
times in consequence of some means which the parents use with
them for that purpose ; one of which is to make the child swallow

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 349

a small living frog, after having performed some superstitious
rites and ceremonies upon it. They are not under the influence
of this spirit always alike, — but it comes upon them at times.
Those who are endowed withit,arc accounted singularly favoured!
" I have laboured to gain some acquaintance with this affair of
their conjuration, and have for that end consulted and queried
with the man mentioned in my Diary, May 9, who, since his con-
version to Christianity, has endeavoured to give me the best in-
telligence he could of this matter. But it seems to be such a
mystery of iniquity, that I cannot well understand it, and do not
know oftentimes what ideas to affix to (he terms he makes use of.
So far as 1 can learn, he himself has not any clear notions of the'
thing, now his spirit of divination is gone from him. However
the manner in which he says he obtained this spirit of di-
viniation was this ; — he was admitted into the presence of a
great man, who informed him, that he loved, pitied, and desired
to do him good. It was not in this world that he saw the great
man, but in a world above at a vast distance from this. The
great man, he says, was clothed with the day ; yea, with the
brightest day he ever saw ; a day of many years," yea, of ever-
lasting continuance ! this whole world, he says, was drawn upon
him, so that in him, the earth, and all things in it, might be seen.
I asked him, if rocks, mountains, and seas were drawn upon, or
appeared in him? He replied, that every thing that was beauti-
ful and lovely in the earth was upon him, and might be seen by
looking on him, as well as if one was on the earth to take a view
of them there. By the side of the great man, he says, stood his
shadow or spirit ; for he used (chichung,) the word they common-
ly use to express that part of the man which survives the
body, which word properly signifies a shadow. This shadow
he says, was as lovely as the man himself, and filled all places]
and was most agreeable as well as wonderful to him.— Here he
says, he tarried some time, and was unspeakably entertained and
delighted with a view of the great man, of his shadow or spirit,
and of all things in him. What is most of all astonishing, he im-
agines all this to have passed before, he was born. He never
had been, he says, in this world at that time. What confirms him
in the belief of this, is, that the great man told him, that he must
comedown to earth, be born of such a v/oman, meet with such
and such things, and in particular, that he should once in his life
be guilty of murder. At this he was displeased, and told the great
man, he would never murder. But the great man replied, " f
have said it, and it shall be so." Which has accordingly hap'pen-
pened. At this time, he says, the great man asked him what he-
would choose in life. He replied, First to be a hunter, and af-

350 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

terwards to be a powaw or diviner. Whereupon the great man
told him, he should have what he desired, and that his shadow
should go along with him down to earth, and be with him for ev-
er. There was, he says, all this time no words spoken between
them. The conference was not carried on by any human lan-
guage, but they had a kind of mental intelligence of each others
thoughts, dispositions, and proposals. After this, he says, he
saw the great man no more ; but suppose* he now came down to
earth to bo born, but the spirit or shadow of the great man still
attended him, and ever after continued to appearto him in dreams
and other ways, until he felt the power of God's word upon his
heart ; since which it has entirely left him.

" The spirit, he says, used sometimes to direct him in dreams
to go to such a place and hunt, assuring him he should there meet
with success, which accordingly proved so. When he had been
there some time, the spirit would order him to another place.
So that he had success in hunting, according to the great man's
promise made to him at the time of his chusing this employment.

" There were some times when this spirit came upon him in a
special manner, and he was full of what he saw in the great man.
Then, he says, he was all light, and not only light himself, but
it was light all around him, so that he could see through men,
and knew the thoughts of their hearts. These depths of Satan I
leave to ethers to fathom or to dive into as they please, and do
not pretend, for my own part, to know what ideas to affix to
such terms, and cannot well guess what conceptions of things
these creatures have at these times when they call themselves all
light. But my interpreter tells me, that he heard one of them
tell a certain Indian the secret thoughts of his heart, which he
had never divulged. The case was this, the Indian was bitten
with a snake, and was in extreme pain with the bite. Whereup-
on the diviner, who was applied to for his recovery, told him,
that at such a time he had promised, that the next deer he killed,
he would sacrifice it to some great power, but had broken his
promise. Now, said he, that great power has ordered this snake
to bite you for your neglect. The Indian confessed it was so, but
said he had never told any body of it.

" These things serve to fix them down in their idolatry, and to
make them believe that there is no safety to be expected, but by
their continuing to offer such sacrifices. The influence which
these powaws have upon them, either through the esteem or fear
they have of them, is no small hindrance to their embracing
Christianity.

"To remove this difficulty, I have laboured to shew the In-
dians, that these diviners have no power to recover the sick,

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 351

when the God whom christians serve, has determined them for
death ; that the supposed great power who influences the diviners
has himself no power in this case : and that, if they seem to 're-
cover any by their magic charms, they are only such as the God
I preached to them, had determined should recover, and who
would have recovered without their conjurations. When I have
apprehended them afraid of embracing Christianity, lest they
should be inchantcd and poisoned, I have endeavoured to relieve
their minds of this fear, by asking them, Why their powaws did
not inchant and poison me, seeing they had as much reason to
hate me for preaching to them, and desiring them to become
christians, as they could have to hate them in case they should
actually become such ? That they might have an evidence of the
power and goodness of God engaged for the protection of chris-
tians, I ventured to bid a challenge to all their powaws and great
rpowers to do their worst on me first of all, and thus laboured to
tread down their influence.

" Many things further might be offered upon this head, but
thus much may suffice for a representation of their aversion to,
and prejudice against Christianity, the springs of it, and the dif-
ficulties thence arising.

II. " Another great difficulty which I have met with in my at-
tempts to christianize the Indians, has been, to convey divine
truths to their understandings , and to gain their assent to them as
such."

" In the first place, I laboured under a very great disadvan-
tage for want of an Interpreter, who had a good degree of doc-
trinal as well as experimcnta' knowledge of divine things : in both
which respects my present Interpreter was very defective when I
first employed him, as noted in the account I before gave of him.
And it was sometimes extremely discouraging to me, when I
could not make him understand what I designed to communicate;
when truths of the last importance appeared foolishness to him
for want of a spiritual understanding and relish of them ; and
when he addressed the Indians in a lifeless, indifferent manner,
without any heart-engagement or fervency; and especially when
he appeared heartless and irresolute about making attempts for
the conversion of the Indians to Christianity, as he frequently
did. For although he had a desire that they should conform to
Christian manners, as I elsewhere observed ; yet, being abun-
dantly acquainted with their strong attachment to their own su-
perstitious notions, and the difficulty of bringing them off, and
having no sense of divine power and grace, nor dependence upon
an Almighty arm for the accomplishment of this work, he used to
be discouraged, and tell me, " It signifies nothing for us to try,

352 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

they will never turn." Thus he was a distressing weight and
burden to me. Here I should have sunk scores of times, but
God in a remarkable manner supported me ; sometimes by giv-
ing me full satisfaction that He himself had called me to this
work, and thence a secret hope that some time or other I might
meet with success in it ; or if not, that " my judgment should
notwithstanding be with the Lord, and my work with my God;"
sometimes by giving me a sense of his almighty power, and that
" his hand was not shortened ;" sometimes by affording me a
fresh and lively view of some remarkable freedom and assistance
with which I had been repeatedly favoured in prayer for the in-
gathering of these Heathens some years before, even before 1 was
a missionary, and a refreshing sense of the stability and faithfulness
of the divine promises, and that the prayer of faith should not
fail. Thus I was supported under these trials, and the method
God was pleased to take for the removal of this difficulty, respec-
ting my Interpreter, I have sufficiently represented elsewhere.

" Another thing which rendered it very difficult to convey di-
vine truths to the understandings of the Indians, was the defect
of their language, the want of terms to express and convey ideas
of spiritual things. There are no words in the Indian language
to answer our English words, " Lord, Saviour, salvation, sinner,
justice, condemnation, faith, repentance, justification, adoption,
sanctification, grace, glory, heaven, with scores of the like impor-
tance.

" The only methods I can make use of for surmounting this
difficulty, are, either to describe the things at large designed by
these terms, as if I was speaking of regeneration, to call it the
" heart's being changed" by God's Spirit, or the " heart's being
made good;" or to introduce the English terms into their lan-
guage, and fix the precise meaning of them, that they may know
what I intend whenever I use them.

" What renders it much more difficult to convey divine truths
to the understandings of these Indians, is, that " there seems to
be no foundation in their minds to begin upon ;" I mean, no
truths which may be taken for granted, as being already known,
while I am attempting to instil others. As divine truths have such
a necessary connexion with, and dependence upon each other, I
find it extremely difficult in my first addresses to Pagans, to begin
and discourse of them in their proper order and connection,
without having reference to truths not yet known, — without ta-
king for granted such things as need first to be taught and proved.
There is no point of Christian doctrine but what they are either
wholly ignorant of, or extremely confused in their notions about.
Therefore it is necessary that they should be instructed in every

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 353

truth, even in those which are the most easy and obvious to the
understanding, and which a person educated under gospel-light
would be ready to pass over in silence, as not imagining that any
rational creature could be ignorant of.

" The method which I have usually taken in my first addresses
to Pagans, has been to introduce myself by saving, that I was
come among them with a desire and design of teaching them some
things which I presumed they did not know, and which I trusted,
would be for their comfort and happiness, if known, desiring they
would give their attention, and hoping they might meet with sat-
isfaction in my discourse. Thence I have proceeded to observe,
that there are two things belonging to every man, which I call the
soul and body. These I endeavour to distinguish from each other,
by observing to them, that there is something in them that is ca-
pable of joy and pleasure, when their bodies are sick and much
pained; and, on the contrary, that they find something within
them, that is fearful, sorrowful, ashamed, &c. and consequently
very uneasy, when their bodies are in perfect health. 1 then
observed to them, that this which rejoices in them, perhaps at
the sight of some friend who has been so long absent, when their
bodies are sick and in pain, — this which is sorrowful, frighted,
ashamed, &c. and consequently uneasy, when their bodies are
perfectly at ease, — this 1 call the soul. And although it cannot be
seen like the other part of the man, viz. the body, yet it is as real as
their thoughts, desires, &c. which are likewise things that cannot
be seen.

" I then further observe, that this part of the man which thinks,
rejoices, grieves, &c. will live after the body is dead. For the
proof of this, I produce the opinion of their fathers, who as I am
told by very aged Indians now living, always supposed that there
was something of the man which would survive the body. If I
can, for the proof of any thing 1 assert, say, as St. Paul to the
Athenians, " As certain also of your own sages have said," it is
sufficient. Having established this point, I next observe, that
what I have to say to them, respects the conscious part of the man;
and that with relation to its state after the death of the body ; and
that I am not come to treat with them about the things that con-
cern the present world.

" This method I am obliged to take, because they will other-
wise entirely mistake the design of my preaching, and suppose
that the business 1 am upon, is something which relates to the pres-
ent world ; having never been called together by the white peo-
ple upon any other occasion, but only to be treated with about
the sale of lands, or some other secular business. 1 find it almost
impossible to prevent their imagining that 1 am engaged in the

joi MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD,

same, or such like affairs, and to beat it into them, that my con-
cern is to treat with them about their invisible part, and that with
relation to its future state.

" But having thus opened the way, by distinguishing between
soul and body, and shewing the immortality of the former, and
that my business is to treat with them in order to their happiness
in a future state ; I proceed to discourse of the Being and Perfec-
tions of God, particularly of his "eternity, unity, self-sufficiency.
infinite wisdom, and almighty power." It is necessary, in the first
place, to teach them that God is from everlasting, and so distin-
guished from all creatures ; though it is very difficult to communi-
cate any thing of that nature to them, they having no terms in
their language to signify an eternity a parte ante. It is likewise
necessary to discourse of the divine unity, in order to confute the
notions they seem to have of a plurality of gods. The divine
all-sufficiency must also necessarily be mentioned, in order to pre-
vent their imagining that God. was unhappy while alone, before
the formation of his creatures. Something respecting the divine
wisdom and poioer seems necessary to be insisted upon, in order to
make way for discoursing of God's works.

" Having offered some things upon the divine perfections men-
tioned, I proceed to open the work of Creation in general, and in
particular God's creation of man in a state of uprightness and
happiness, placing them in a garden of pleasure ; the means and
manner of their apostacy from that state, and loss of that happi-
ness. Before I can give a relation of their fall from God, I am
obliged to make a large digression, in order to give an account of
the original and circumstances of their tempttr, his capacity of
assuming the shape of a serpent, from his being a spirit without a
body, &c. Hence I go on to shew, the ruins of our fallen state,
the mental blindness and vicious dispositions which our first pa-
rents then contracted to themselves, and propagated to all their
posterity ; the numerous calamities brought upon them amd theirs
by this apostacy from God ; and the exposedness of the whole
human r^ce to eternal perdition. Hence I labour to shew them,
the necessity of an Almighty Saviour to deliver us from this de-
plorable state, as well as of a divine Revelation to instruct us in,
and direct us agreeable to the will of God.

" Thus the way, by such an introductory discourse, is prepared
for opening the gospel scheme of salvation through the great Re-
deemer, and for treating of those doctrines which immediately re-
late to the soul's renovation by the divine Spirit, and preparation
for a state of everlasting blessedness.

" In giving such a relation of things to Pagans, it is not a little
* difficult, as observed before, to deliver truths in their properorder

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 356

without interfering, and without taking for granted things not as
yet known ; to discourse of them in a familiar manner, suited to
the capacities of heathen ; to illustrate them by easy and natural
similitudes ; to obviate or answer the objections which they are
disposed to make against the several particulars of it; as well as
to take notice of, and confute their contrary notions.

" What has sometimes been very discouraging in my first dis-
courses to them, is, that when I have distinguished between the
present and future state, and shown them that it was my business
to treat of those things which concern the life to come, they have
mocked, and looked upon these things of no importance ; have
scarce had a curiosity to hear; and perhaps walked off before I
had half done my discourse. In such a case, no impressions can
be made upon their minds to gain their attention. They are not
awed by hearing of the anger of God engaged against sinners, or
of everlasting punishment as the portion of gospel-neglecters.
They are not allured by hearing of the blessedness of those who
embrace and obey the gospel. So that to gain their attention to
my discourses, has often been as difficult as to give them a just
notion of the design of them, or to open truths in their proper

order.

" Another difficulty, naturally falling under the head I am now
upon, is, that " it is next to impossible to bring them to a rational
conviction that they are sinners by nature, and that their hearts
are corrupt and sinful," unless one could charge them with some
gross acts of immorality, such as the light of nature condemns.
If they can be charged with behaviour contrary to the commands
of the second table, — with manifest abuses of their neighbour,
they will generally own such actions to be wrong ; but then they
seem as if they thought only the actions were sinful, and not their
hearts. But if they cannot be charged with such scandalous ac-
tions, they seem to have no consciousness of sin and guilt at all,
as I had occasion to observe in my Diary, March "24. So that it
is very difficult to convince them rationally of that which is read-
ily acknowledged, though, alas! rarely felt, in the Christian world,
viz. "That we are all sinners."

" The method which I take to convince them that " we are sin-
ners by nature," is, to lead them to an observation of their little
children, how they will appear in a rage, fight and strike their
mothers, before they are able to speak or walk, while they are so
young that it is plain they are incapable of learning such practices.
As the light of nature in the Indians condemns such behaviour m
children towards their parents ; they must own these tempers and
actions to be wrong and sinful. As the children have never learn-
ed these things, they must have been in their natures ; and con-

356 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

sequently they must be allowed to be " by nature the children of
wrath." The same I observe to them with respect to the sin of
lying, to which' their children seem much inclined, they tell lies
without being taught so to do, from their own natural inclination,
as well as against restraints, and after corrections for that vice,
which proves them sinners by nature.

""Further; in order to shew them that their hearts are all cor-
rupted and sinful, I observe to them, that this may be the case,
and they not be sensible of it through the blindness of their
minds ; and that it is no evidence that they are not sinful, because
they do no! know and fee; i(. 1 then mention all the vices I
know the Indians to '.,• guUty of, and so make use of these sinful
streams to convince them that the fountain is corrupt. This is
the end for which J mention their wicked practices to them ;
not because I expect to bring them to an effectual reformation
merely by inveighing against their immoralities; but hoping that
they may hereby be convinced of the corruption of their hearts,
and awakened to a se.se of the depravity and misery of their
fallen state.

" For the same purpose, viz. " to convince them that they are
sinners," I sometimes open to them, the great command of " lov-
ing God with all the heart, strength, and mind ;" shew them the
reasonableness of loving Him who ha> made, preserved and dealt
bountifully with us ; and then labour to shew them that they have
utterly neglected this duty, and that they have been so far from
loving God in this manner, that, on the contrary, he has not been
" in all their thoughts."

" Such are the means which I have made use of to remove
this difficulty ; but if it be asked after all, " How it was sur-
mounted ?'' 1 must answer, God himself was pleased to do it with
regard to a number of these Indians, by taking his work into his
own hand, and making them feel at heart, that they were both
sinful and miserable. In the day of God's power, whatever was
spoken to ihem from God's word, served to convince them that
they were sinners; even the most melting invitations of the gos-
pel; and to fill them with solicitude to obtain a deliverance from
that deplorable state.

" Further ; it is extremely difficult to give them any just notion
of the undertaking of Christ in behalf of sinners ; of his obeying
and suffering in their room and stead, in order to atone for their
sins, and procure their salvation ; and of their being justified by
his righteousness imputed to them. — They are in general wholly
unacquainted with civil laws and proceedings, and know of no
such thing as one person being substituted as a surety in the room
of another, nor have any kind of notion of civil judicatures, of

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 357

persons being arraigned, tried, judged, condemned, or acquitted.
Hence it is very difficult to treat with them upon any thing of this
nature, or that bears any relation to legal procedures. Although
they cannot but have some dealings with the white people, in
order to procure clothing and other necessaries of life, yet it is
scarce ever known that any one pays a penny for another, but
each one stands for himself. Yet this is a thing which may be
supposed, though seldom practiced among them, and they may be
made to understand, that if a friend of theirs pay a debt for them,
it is right that upon that consideration they themselves should be
discharged.

" This is the only way I can take in order to give them a prop-
er notion of the undertaking and satisfaction of Christ in behalf
of sinners. But here naturally arise two questions. First,
" What need there was of Christ's obeying and suffering for us ;
why God would not look upon us to be good creatures, to use my
common phrase for justification, on account of our own good
deeds?" In answer to which I sometimes observe, that a child
being never so orderly and obedient to its parents to-day, does
by no means satisfy for its contrary behaviour yesterday ; and that
if it be loving and obedient at some times only, and at other times
cross and disobedient, it never can be looked upon a good child
for its own doings, since it ought to have behaved in an obedient
manner alzvays. This simile strikes their minds in an easy and
forcible manner, and serves, in a measure, to illustrate the point.
For the light of nature, as before hinted, teaches them, that their
children ought to be obedient to them, and that at all times; and
some of them are very severe, with them for the contrary behav-
iour. This I apply in the plainest manner to our behaviour to-
wards God ; and so shew them, that it is impossible for us, since
we have sinned against God, to be justified before him by our own
doings, since present and future goodness, although perfect and
constant, could never satisfy for past misconduct.

"A second question is, '• If our debt was so great, and if we all
deserved to suffer, how one person's suffering was sufficient to
answer for the whole ?" Here I have no better way to illustrate
the infinite value of Christ's obedience and sufferings, arising
from the dignity and excellency of his person, than to shew them
the superior value of gold to that of baser metals, and that a small
quantity of this will discharge a greater debt, than a vast quantity
of the common copper pence. After all, it is extremely difficult
to treat with them upon this great doctrine of "justification by
imputed righteousness." I scarce know how to conclude this head;
so many things occuring which might properly be added here ;
but what has been mentioned, may serve for a specimen of the

358 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD.

difficulty of conveying divine truths to the understandings of these
Indians, and of gaining their assent to them as such.

III. " Their inconvenient situations, savage manners, and un-
happy method of living," have been an unspeakable difficulty and
discouragement to me in my work. — They generally live in the
wilderness, and some whom I have visited, at great distances from
the English settlements. This has obliged me to travel much,
oftentimes over hideous rocks, mountains, and swamps, and fre-
quently to lie out in the open woods ; which deprived me of the
common comforts of life, and greatly impaired my health.

"When I have got among them in the wilderness, I have often met
with great difficulty in my attempts to discourse to them. — I have
sometimes spent hours with them in attempting to answer their
objections, and remove their jealousies, before I could prevail upon
them to give me a hearing upon Christianity. I have been often
obliged to preach in their houses in cold and windy weather,
when they have been full of smoak and cinders, as well as un-
speakably filthy ; which has many times thrown me into violent
sick head-achs.

" While I have been preaching, their children have frequently
cried to such a degree, that I could scarcely be heard, and their
Pagan mothers would take no manner of care to quiet them. At
the same time, perhaps, some have been laughing and mocking at
divine truths ; others playing with their dogs, whittleing sticks,
and the like ; and this, in many of them, not from spite and preju-
dice, but for want of better manners.

"A view of these things has been not a little sinking and dis-
couraging to me. Jt has sometimes so far prevailed upon me as
to render me entirely dispirited, and wholly unable to go on with
my work ; and given me such a melancholy turn of mind, that I
have many times thought I could never more address an Indian
upon religious matters.

" The solitary manner in which I have generally been obliged
to live, on account of their inconvenient situation, has been not a
little pressing. I have spent the greater part of my time, for
more than three years past, entirely alone, as to any agreeable
society ; and a very considerable part of it in houses by myself,
without having the company of any human creature. Sometimes
1 have scarcely seen an Englishman for a month or six weeks to-
gether; and have had my spirits so depressed with melancholy
views of the tempers and conduct of Pagans, when I have been
for some time confined with them, that I have felt as if banished
from all the people of God.

" I have likewise been wholly alone in my work, there being no
other missionary among the Indians in either of these provinces.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 359

Other ministers, neither knowing the peculiar difficulties nor most
advantageous methods of performing my work, have been able to
afford me little assistance or support in any respect. — A feeling of
the great disadvantages of being alone in this work, has discover-
ed to me the wisdom and goodness of the great Head of the
church, in sending forth his disciples two and two, in order to pro-
claim the sacred mysteries of his kingdom ; and lias made me long
for a colleague to be a partner of my cares, hopes, and fears, as
well as labours among the Indians ; and excited me to use some
means in order to procure such an assistant, although I have not
as yet been so happy as to meet with success in that respect.

" I have not only met with great difficulty in travelling to, and
for some time residing among, the Indians far remote in the wil-
derness, but also in living with them, in one place and another,
more statedly. I have been obliged to remove my residence from
place to place ; having procured, and after some poor fashion,
furnished three houses for living among them, in the space of
about three years past. One at. Kaunaumeek, about twenty miles
distant from the city of Albany: one at the Forks of Delaware, in
Pennsylvania , and one at Crossweeksung, in New-Jersey. The
Indians in the latter of these provinces, with whom I have lat-
terly spent most of my time, being not long since removed from
the place where they lived last winter ; (the reason of which I
mentioned in my Diary, March 24, and May 4 ;) have now n®
house at all of my own, but am obliged to lodge with an English
family at a considerable distance from them, to the great disad-
vantage of my work among them ; they being like children that
continually need advice, and direction, as well as incitement to their
worldly business. — The houses in which I have formerly lived are
at great distances from each other ; the two nearest of them being
more than seventy miles apart, and neither of them within fifteen
miles of the place where the Indians now live.

" The Indians are a very poor and indigent people, and so des-
titute of the comforts of life, at some seasons of the year espe-
cially, that it is impossible for a person who has any pity on
them, and concern for the christian interest, to live among them
without considerable expence, especially in time of sickness. If
any thing be beslowed on one, as in some cases it is peculiarly
necessary, in order to remove their Pagan jealousies, and engage
their friendship to Christianity, others, be there never so many
of them, expect the same treatment. While they retain their
Pagan tempers, they discover little gratitude, amid all the kind-
nesses which they receive. If they make any presents, they ex-
pect double satisfaction. Christianity itself docs not at once cure,
them of these ungrateful tempers.

360 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERU.

" They are in general unspeakably indolent and slothful. —
They have been bred up in idleness, and know little about culti-
vating land, or indeed about engaging vigorously in any other bu-
siness. I am obliged to instruct them in, as well as press them
to, the performance of their work, and take the oversight of all
their secular business. They have little or no ambition or reso-
lution. Not one in a thousand of them has the spirit of a man. It
is next to impossible to make them sensible of the duty and im-
portance of being active, diligent, and industrious in the manage-
ment of their worldly business; and to excite in them any spirit
and promptitude of that nature. When I have laboured, to the
utmost of my ability, to shew them of what importance it would
be to the christian interest among them, as well as to their world-
ly comfort, for them to be laborious and prudent in their business,
and to furnish themselves with the comforts of life ;how this would
incline the Pagans to come among them, and so put them under
the means of salvation ; — how it would encourage religious per-
sons of the white people to help them, as well as to stop the
mouths of others, who are disposed to cavil against them, and
how they might by this means pay others their just dues, and so
prevent trouble from coming upon themselves, and reproach up-
on their christian profession ; — they have indeed assented to all I
said, but been little moved, and consequently have acted like
themselves, or at least too much so. Though it must be acknowl-
edged, that those who appear to have a sense of divine things,
are considerably amended in this respect, and it is to be hoped,
that time will make a yet greater alteration upon them for the
better.

"The concern I have had for the settling of these Indians in
New-Jersey, in a compact form, in order to their being a christian
congregation, in a capacity of enjoying the means of grace ; the
care of managing their worldly business in order to this end, and
to their having a comfortable livelihood ; have been more press-
ing to my mind, and cost me more labour and fatigue, for several
months past, than all my other work among them.

" Their " wandering to and fro in order to procure the neces-
saries of life," is another difficulty which attends my work. This
has often deprived me of opportunities to discourse to them. It
has thrown them in the way of temptation ; either, among Pagans
further remote where they have gone to hunt, who have laughed
at them for hearkening to Christianity ; or, among white people,
more horribly wicked, who have often made them drunk ; then
got their commodities — such as skins, baskets, brooms, shovels.
and the like, with which they designed to have bought corn, and
other necessaries of life, for themselves and families — for. it may

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 364

be, nothing but a little strong liquor; and then sent them home
empty. For the labour, perhaps, of several weeks, they have
thus got nothing but the satisfaction of being drunk once ; and
have not only lost their labour, but, which is infinitely worse, the
impressions of some divine subjects that were made upon their
minds before. — But I forbear enlarging upon this head. The few
hints I have given may be sufficient to give thinking persons some
apprehensions of (he difficulties attending my work, on account
of the inconvenient situations and savage manners of the Indians,
as well as of their unhappy method of living.

IV. " The last difficulty I shall mention, as having attended
my work, is, " what has proceeded from the attempts, which some
ill-minded persons have designedly made, to hinder the propagation
<f the gospel, and a zvork of divine grace among the Indians." — The
Indians are not only of themselves prejudiced against Christiani-
ty, on the various accounts which I have already mentioned ; but,
as if this were not enough, there are some in all parts of the
country where I have preached to them, who have taken pains
industriously to bind them down in Pagan darkness ; " neglecting
to enter into the kingdom of God themselves, and labouring to
hinder others."

" After the beginning of the religious attention among the In-
dians in New-Jersey, some endeavoured to prejudice them a-
gainst me and the truths I taught them, by the most base, unman-
ly, and false suggestions of things which had no foundation but in
their own brains. Some particulars of this kind I formerly took
notice of in one of the remarks made upon my Diary, concluded the
20th of November last ; and might have added more, and of
another nature, had not delicacy forbidden me to mention what
was too obscene. But, through the mercy of God, they were
never able, by all their abominable insinuations, flouting jeers,
and downright lies, to create in the Indians those jealousies with
which they desired to possess them ; and so were never suffered
to hinder the work of grace among them. — When they saw that
they could not prejudice the Indians against me, nor hinder them
from receiving the gospel, they then noised it through the coun-
try, " that I was undoubtedly a Roman catholic ; that I was gath-
ering together, and training up the Indians in order to serve a
Popish interest ; and that I should quickly head them, and cut
people's throats."

" What they pretended gave them reason for this opinion, was,
that they understood I had a commission from Scotland. Where-
upon they could with great assurance say, " All Scotland is turn-
ed to the Pretender ; and this is but a Popish plot to make a party
for him here." Some, I am informed, actually went to the civil

362 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

authority with complaints against me ; but only laboured under
this unhappiness, that when they came, they had nothing to com-
plain of. and could give no colour of reason why they attempted
any such thing, or desired the civil authority to take cognizance
of me, having not a word to allege against my preaching or prac-
tice, only they surmised that because the Indians appeared so
very loving and orderly, they had a design of imposing upon peo-
ple by that means, and so of getting a better advantage to cut
their throats. With what temper they would have had the In-
dians appear, in order to have given no occasion, nor have left
any room for such a suspicion, I cannot tell. I presume if they
had appeared with the contrary temper, it would quickly have
been observed of them, that " they were now grown surly," and
in all probability were preparing to " cut people's throats.5' —
From a view of these things, I have had occasion to admire the
wisdom and goodness of God in providing so full and authentic a
commission for the undertaking and carrying on of this work,
without which, notwithstanding the charitableness of the design,
it had probably met with molestation.

" The Indians, who have been my hearers in New-Jersey, have
likewise been sued for debt, and threatened with imprisonment
more since I came among them, as they inform me, than in seven
years before. The reason of this, 1 suppose, was, they left fre-
quentingthose tippling houses where they used to consume most of
what they gained by hunting and other means. These persons,
seeing that the hope of future gain was^ lost, were resolved to
make sure of what they could. Perhaps some of them put the
Indians to trouble, purely out of spite at their embracing Chris-
tianity.

" This conduct of theirs has been very distressing to me ; for I
was sensible, that if they did imprison any one that embraced, or
hearkened to Christianity, the news of it would quickly spread
among the Pagans, hundreds of miles distant, who would immedi-
ately conclude that 1 had involved them in this difficulty, and
thence be filled with prejudice against Christianity, and strength-
ened in their jealousy, that the whole of my design among them,
was to ensnare and enslave them. 1 knew that some of the In-
dians upon Susquehannah had made this objection against hearing
me preach, viz. That they understood that a number of Indians
in Maryland, some hundreds of miles distant, who had been un-
commonly free with the English, were after a while put in jail,
and sold. Whereupon they concluded, it was best for them to
keep at a distance, and have nothing to do with Christians. — The
method 1 took in order to remove this difficulty, was, to press
the Indians with all possible speed to pay their debts ; and to ex-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 363

hort those of them that had skins or money, and were themselves in
good measure free of debt, to help others that were oppressed.
Frequently upon such occasions I have paid money outof my own
pocket, which I have not as yet received again.

" These are some of the difficulties which I have met with from
the conduct of those who, notwithstanding their actions so much
tend to hinder the propagation of Christianity, would, I suppose,
be loth to be reputed Pagans. — Thus I have endeavoured to an-
swer the demands of the Hon. Society in relation to each of the
particulars mentioned in their letter. — If what I have written may
be in any measure agreeable and satisfactory to them, and serve
to excite in them, or any of God's people, a spirit of prayer and
supplication for the furtherance of a work of grace among the In-
dians here, and the propagation of it to their distant tribes, I shall
have abundant reason to rejoice, and bless God in this, as well
as in other respects."

"DAVID BRAINERD."

" June 20, 1746.

P. S. "Since the conclusion of the preceding Journal — which
was designed to represent the operations of one year only, from
the first time of my preaching to the Indians in New-Jersey — 1 ad-
ministered the sacrament of the LorcVs Supper, a second time in
my congregation, viz. on the 13th of July. At this time there
were more than thirty communicants of the Indians, although di-
vers were absent who should have communicated ; so considera-
bly has God enlarged our number since the former solemnity of
this kind, described somewhat particularly in my Diary. This
appeared to be a season of divine power and grace, not unlike
the former ; a season of refreshing to God's people in general,
and of awakening to some others; although the divine influence
manifestly attending the several services of the solemnity, sesm-
ed not so great and powerful as at the former season.

"D. BRAINERD."

SECTION IV.

Attestations of Divine Grace displayed among the Indians.

FIRST ATTESTATION.

Since my dear and Rev. brother Brainerd, has at length con-
sented to the publication of his Journal,, I gladly embrace this op-
portunity of testifying, that our altogether glorious Lord and
Saviour, Jesus Christ, has given such a display of his Almighty

^64 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

power and sovereign grace, not only in the external reformatio;'.,
but, [in a judgment of charity,] the saving conversion of a con-
siderable number of Indians, that it is really wonderful to all be-
holders ! though some, alas ! notwithstanding sufficient ^rounds
of conviction to the contrary, do join with the devil, that avowed
enemy of God and man, in endeavouring to prevent this glorious
work, by such ways and means as are mentioned in the aforesaid
Journal, to which I must refer the reader for a faithful, though
very brief, account of the time when, the place where, the means
by which, and manner how, this wished-for work has been begun
and carried on, by the great Head of the Church. This I can the
more confidently do. not only because 1 am intimately acquainted
with the author, but on account of my own personal knowledge
of the matters of fact recorded in it respecting the work itself.
As I live not far from the Indians, I have been much conversant
with them, both at their own place, and in my own parish, where
they generally convene for public worship in Mr. Braixerd's ab-
sence ; and I think it my duty to acknowledge, that their con-
versation, hath often, under God, refreshed my soul.

" To conclude, it is my opinion, that the change wrought in
ihose savages, namely, from the darkness of Paganism, to the
knowledge of the pure gospel of. Christ ; from sacrificing to dev-
ils, to " present themselves, body and soul, a living sacrifice to
God," and that not only from the persuasion of their minister,
but from a clear heart-affecting sense of its being their reasona-
ble service; this change I say, is so great, that none could effect it
but He "who worketh all things after the good pleasure of his
own will." I would humbly hope, that this Is only the first-fruits
of a much greater harvest to be brought in from among the In-
dians, by HIM, who has promised to give his Son " the Heathen
for his inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for his
possession :" — who hath also declared, " That the whole earth,
shall be filled with the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters
cover the sea. — Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen and
Amen.

"lam courteous reader.

" thy soul's well wisher,

" WILLIAM TENNENT."

Freehold. August 16, 1746.

SECOND ATTESTATION.

•: As it must needs afford a sacred pleasure to such as cordially
desire the prosperity and advancement of the Redeemer's king-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 365

dom and interest in the world, to hear, that our merciful and gra-
cious God is in very deed fulfilling such precious promises as%e-
late to the poor Heathen, by sending his everlasting gospel among
them, which, with concurrence of his holy Spirit, is removing that
worse than Egyptian darkness, whereby the god of this world has
long held them in willing subjection; so this narrative will per-
haps be more acceptable to the world, when it is confirmed by the
testimony of such as were either eye-witnesses of this glorious
dawn of gospel-light among the benighted Pagans, or personally
acquainted with those of them, in whom, in a judgment of char-
ity, a gracious change has been wrought. Therefore, I the more
willingly join with my brethren, Mr. William Tennent, and Mr.
Brainerd, in affixing my attestation to the foregoing narrative-
and look upon myself as concerned in point of duty both to God
and his people, to do so, because I live contiguous to their set-
tlement, and have had frequent opportunities of being present at
their religious meetings; where I have with pleasing wonder, be-
held what I am strongly inclined to believe were the effects of
God's Almighty power accompanying his own truths; more es-
pecially, on the 8th day of August,' 1745. While the word of
God was preached by Mr. Brainerd, there appeared an uncom-
mon solemnity among the Indians in genera! ; but, 1 am wholly
unable to give a full representation of the surprizing effects of
God's Almighty power which appeared among them when public
service was over. While Mr. Brainerd urged upon some of
them the absolute necessity of a speedy closure with Christ, the
holy Spirit seemed to be poured out upon them in a plenteous
measure, insomuch as the Indians present in the wigzuam seemed
to be brought to the jailor's case, Acts xvi. 30, utterly unable to
conceal the distress and perplexity of their souls. This prompt-
ed the pious among them to bring the dispersed congregation to-
gether, who soon seemed to be in the greatest extremity. Some
were earnestly begging for mercy, under a solemn sense of their
perishing condition; while others were unable to arise from the
earth, to the great wonder of those white people that were pres-
ent, one of whom is by this means, I trust, savingly brought to
Christ since. Nay, so very extraordinary was the concern which
appeared among these poor Indians in general, that I am ready
to conclude, it might have been sufficient to have , convinced an
Atheist, that the Lord was indeed in the place. I am for my
part, fully persuaded that this glorious work is true and genuine,
while with satisfaction I behold several of these Indians discov-
ering all the symptoms of inward holiness in their lives and con-
versation. I had the satisfaction of joining with them in their
service on the 1 1th of August, 1746 ; which was a dav set aparf

3G6

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

for imploring the divine blessing on the labours of their minister
among other tribes of Indians on the Susquehamtah ; in all which
they conducted themselves with a very decent and becoming
gravity ; and as far as I am capable of judging, they may be pro-
posed as examples of piety and godliness, to all the white people
around them, which indeed is justly ' marvellous in our eyes,' es-
pecially considering what they lately had been. Oh may the glo-
rious God shortly bring about that desirable time, when our exalt-
ed Immanuel shall have ' the Heathen given for his inheritance,
and the uttermost parts of the earth for his possession !"

"CHARLES MACNIGHT."
" Crosswicks, August 29, 1746.

THIRD ATTESTATION.

" We whose names are underwritten, being elders and deacons
of the Presbyterian Church in Freehold, do hereby testify, that
in our :, amble opinion, God. even our Saviour, has brought a con-
siderable number of the Indians in these parts to a saving union
with himself. Of this we are persuaded from a personal ac-
quaintance with them ; whom we not only hear speak of the
great doctrines of the gospel with humility, affection, and under-
standing, but we see walk, as far as man can judge, soberly, right-
eously, and godly. We have joined with them at the Lord's sup-
per, and do from our hearts esteem them as our brethren in Jesus.
For " these who were not God's people, may now be called the
children of the living God; it is the Lord's doing, and it is mar-
vellous in our eyes.'' Oh that he may go on " conquering and
to conquer," until he has subdued all things to himself! This is.
and shall be the unfeigned desire and prayer of,

"Walter Ker, ^ "William Ker, ^

': Robert Cummins,
" David R.he, J g*

" John Henderson, ) ^
" John Anderson,
" Joseph Ker, >

" Samuel Ker,
" Samuel Craig.

Presbyterian Church, Freehold, dug. 16, 1746.

CHAPTER XI.

From the close of his Journal, June 19, 1746, to the termination of his
Missionary Labours, March 20, 1747.

The hardships, which Brainerd had endured, had now obvi-
ously affected his constitution; and unfitted him for a life of so
much toil and exposure. Of this, he appears not to have been
aware, until the case had become hopeless ; and, unfortunately,
the circumstances, in which he was placed, were calculated, in-
stead of retarding, to hasten the ravages of disease. He lived
alone, in the midst of a wilderness; in a miserable hut, built by
Indians ; with few of the necessaries, and none of the comforts of
life ; at a distance from civilized society ; without even a nurse or
a physician. His labours, also, were sufficient to have impaired
a vigorous constitution. It is not surprizing, therefore, that his
health was gradually, but fatally undermined.

On Friday, June 20th, as well as on the next day, he was very-
ill ; though, with great effort, he was enabled to preach to his
people on Saturday. His illness continued on the Sabbath, but
he preached, notwithstanding, to his people both parts of the day;
and after the puhlic worship was ended, he endeavoured to apply
divine truths to the consciences of some, and addressed them
personally for that end; several were in tears, and some appeared
much affected. But he was extremely wearied with the services
of the day, and so ill at night, that he could have no bodily rest;
but remarks, that " God was his support, and that he was rot left
destitute of comfort in him." On Monday, he continued very ill;
but speaks of his mind being calm and composed, resigned to the
divine dispensations, and content with his feeble state. By the
account which he gives of himself, the remaining part of this
week, he continued very feeble, and for the most part dejected in
mind. He enjoyed no great freedom nor sweetness in spiritual
things ; except that for some very short spaces of time he had
refreshment and encouragement, which engaged his heart on di-
vine things ; and sometimes his heart wras melted with spiritual
affection.

Lord's day, June 29. " Preached, both parts of the day, from
John xiv. 19- " Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no
more." &c God was pleased to assist me, to afford me both

368 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

freedom and power, especially towards the close of my discourse,
both forenoon and afternoon. God's power appeared in the as-
sembly, in both exercises. Numbers of God's people were re-
freshed and melted with divine things; one or two comforted, who
had been long under distress : convictions, in divers instances,
powerfully revived ; and one man in years much awakened, who
had not long frequented our meeting, and appeared before as stu-
pid as a stock. God amazingly renewed and lengthened out my
strength. I was so spent at noon, that I could scarce walk, and
all my joints trembled ; so that I could not fit, nor so much as hold
my hand still: and yet God strengthened me to preach with pow-
er in the afternoon ; although I had given out word to my people,
that I did not expect to be able to do it. Spent some time after-
wards in conversing, particularly, with several persons, about their
spiritual state ; and had some satisfaction concerning one or two.
Prayed afterwards with a sick child, and gave a word of exhorta-
tion. Was assisted in all my work. Blessed be God. Returned
home with more health, than I went out with ; although my linen
was wringing wet upon me, from a little after ten in the morning,
till past five in the afternoon. My spirits also were considerably
refreshed ; and my soul rejoiced in hope, that I had through grace
done something for God. In the evening, walked out, and enjoy-
ed a sweet season in secret prayer and praise. But Oh, I found
the truth of the Psalmist's words, " My goodness extendeth not to
thee!" I could not make any returns to God; I longed to live
only to him, and to be in tune for his praise and service for ever.
Oh, for spirituality and holy fervency, that I might spend and be
spent for God to my latest moment!

June 30. " Spent the day in writing; but under much weak-
ness and disorder. Felt the labours of the preceding day ; al-
though my spirits were so refreshed the evening before, that I was
not then sensible of my being spent.

July 1. " In the afternoon, visited, and preached to my peo-
ple, from Heb. ix. 27. And as it is appointed unto men once to
die, <^c. on occasion of some person's lying at the point of death,
in my congregation. God gave me some assistance; and his
word made some impressions on the audience, in general. This
was an agreeable and comfortable evening to my soul: my spirits
were somewhat refreshed, with a small degree of freedom and
help enjoyed in my work."

On Wednesday he went to Newark, to a meeting of the Pres-
bytery; complains of lowness of spirits; and greatly laments hi?
spending his time so unfruitfully. The remaining part of the

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 369

week he spent there, and at Elizabethtown ; and speaks of coin-
fort and divine assistance, from day to day ; but yet greatly com-
plains for want of more spirituality.

Lord's day, July 6. " [At Elizabethtown.] Enjoyed some
composure and serenity of mind, in the morning: heard Mr. Dick-
inson preach, in the forenoon, and was refreshed with his discourse;
was in a melting frame, some part of the time of sermon: partook
of the Lord's supper, and enjoyed some sense of divine things in
that ordinance. In the afternoon, I preached from Ezek. xxxiii.
11. 'J As I live, saith the Lord God," &c. God favoured me
with freedom and fervency, and helped me to plead his cause,
beyond my own power.

July 7. " My spirits were considerably refreshed and raised,
in the morning. There is no comfort, I find, in any enjoyment,
without enjoying God, and being engaged in his service. In the
evening, had the most agreeable conversation which I remember
in all my life, upon God's being all in all, and all enjoyments be-
ing just that to us which God makes them, and no more. It is
good to begin aud end with God. O how does a sweet solemnity
lay a foundation for true pleasure and happiness !

July 8. " Rode home, and enjoyed some agreeable medita-
tions by the way.

July 9. " Spent the day in writing, enjoyed some comfort and
refreshment of spirit in my evening retirement.

July 10. " Spent most of the day in writing. Towards night
rode to Mr. Tennent's; enjoyed some agreeable conversation :
went home, in the evening, in a solemn, sweet frame of mind; was
refreshed in secret duties, longed to live wholly and only for God,
and saw plainly, there was nothing in the world worthy of my af-
fection ; so that my heart was dead to all below ; yet not through
dejection, as at some times, but from views of a better inherit-
ance.

JulyW. " Was in a calm, composed frame, in the morning,
especially in the season of my secret retirement. I think, that I
was well pleased with the will of God, whatever it was, or should
be, in all respects of which I had then any thought. Intending to
administer the Lord's Supper the next Lord's day, I looked to
God for his presence and assistance upon that occasion ; but felt a
disposition to say, " The will of the Lord be done," whether it be
to give me assistance, or not. Spent some little time in writing :
visited the Indians, and spent some time in serious conversation
with them ; thinking it not best to preach, many of them being
absent.

olQ MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

July 12. '* This day was spent in fasting and prayer by my
congregation, as preparatory to the sacrament. I discoursed, both
parts of the day, from Rom. iv. 25. " Who was delivered for our
offences," &ic. God gave me some assistance in my discourses,
and something of divine power attended the word ; so that this
was an agreeable season. Afterwards led them to a solemn re-
newal of their covenant, and fresh dedication of themselves to
God. This was a season both of solemnity and sweetness, and
God seemed to be "in the midst of us." Returned to my lodg-
ings, in the evening, in a comfortable frame of mind.

Lor<Ps day, July 13. "In the forenoon, discoursed on the
bread of life, from John vi. 35. God gave me some assistance,
in part of my discourse especially; and there appeared some ten-
der affection in the assembly under divine truths; my soul also
was somewhat refreshed. Administered the sacrament of the
Lord's supper to thirty-one persons of the Indians. God seemed
to be present in this ordinance; the communicants were sweetly
melted and refreshed, most of them. O how they melted, even
when the elements were first uncovered ! There was scarcely a
dry eye among them, when I took off the linen, and shewed them
the symbols of Christ's broken body. — Having rested a little, after
the administration of the sacrament, I visited the communicants,
and found them generally in a sweet loving frame ; not unlike what
appeared among them on the former sacramental occasion, on
April 27. In the afternoon, discoursed upon coming to Christ,
and the satisfaction of those who do so, from the same verse I in-
sisted on in the forenoon. This was likewise an agreeable sea-
son, a season of much tenderness, affection, and enlargement in di-
vine service: and God, I am persuaded, crowned our assembly
with his divine presence. I returned home much spent, yet re-
joicing in the goodness of God.

July 1 4. " Went to my people, and discoursed to them from
Psal. cxix 106. " 1 have sworn, and I will perform it." &c. Ob-
served, 1. That all God's judgments or commandments are right-
eous. 2. That God's people have sioorn to keep them; and this
they do especially at the Lord's table. There appeared to be a
powerful divine influence on the assembly, and considerable melt-
ing under the word. Afterwards, I lead them to a renewal" of
their covenant before God. that they would watch over them-
selves and one another, lest they should fall into sin and dishonor
the name of Christ, just as 1 did on Monday, April 28. This
transaction was attended with great solemnity : and God seemed
to own it by exciting in them a fear and jealousy of themselves,
lest they should sin against God ; so that the presence of God

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 37 i

seemed to be amongst us in this conclusion of the sacramental
solemnity."

The next day, he set out on a journey towards Philadelphia ;
from whence he did not return tiil Saturday. He went this jour*
ney, and spent the week, under a great degree of illness of body,
and dejection of mind.

Lord's day, July 20. "Preached twice to my people from
John xvii. 24. " Father, I will that they also whom thou hast
given me, be with me, where I am, that they may heboid my glo-
ry, which thou hast given me." Was helped to discourse with
great clearness and plainness in the forenoon. In the afternoon,
enjoyed some tenderness, and spake with some influence. Num-
bers were in tears ; and some, to appearance, in distress.

July2\. '"Preached to the Indians, chiefly for the sake of
some strangers; proposed my design of taking a journey speedily
to the Susquehannah; exhorted my people to pray for me, that
God would be with me in that journey ; and then chose divers
persons of the congregation to travel with me. Afterwards, spent
some time in discoursing to the strangers, and was somewhat en-
couraged with them. Took care of my people's secular busi-
ness, and was not a little exercised with it. Had some degree of
composure and comfort in secret retirement.

July 22. " Was in a dejected frame, most of the day ; wanted
to wear out life, and have it at an end ; but had some desires of
living to God, and wearing out life for him. Oh that I could in-
deed do so /" /

The next day he went to Elizabeth-Town, to a meeting of the
Presbytery; and spent this, and Thursday, and the former part of
Friday, under a very great degree of melancholy, and gloominess
of mind ; not through any fear of future punishment, but as being
distressed with a senselessness of all good, so that the whole world
appeared empty and gloomy to hirn. In the latter part of Friday
he was greatly relieved and comforted.

July 26. Was comfortable in the morning; my countenance
and heart were not sad, as in days past; enjoyed some sweetness
in lifting up my heart to God. Rode home to my people, and
was in a comfortable, pleasant frame by the way ; my spirits
were much relieved of their burden, and I felt free to go through
all difficulties and labours in my Master's service.

Lord's day, July 27. "Discoursed to my people in the fore-
noon, from Luke xii. 37, on the duty and benefit of watching.

372 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

God helped me in the latter part of my discourse, and the power
of God appeared in the assembly. In the afternoon, discoursed
from Luke xiii. 25. When once the muster of the house is risen
up,&:c. Here also I enjoyed some assistance; and the Spirit of
God seemed to attend what was spoken, so that there was a great
solemnity, and some tears among Indians and olhers.

July 28. " Was very weak, and scarce able to perform any
business at all ; but enjoyed sweetness and comfort in prayer,
both morning and evening; and was composed and comfortable
through the day. My mind was intense, and my heart fervent,
at least in some degree, in secret duties ; and I longed to spend
and be spent for God.

July 29. " My mind was cheerful, and free from the mel-
ancholy, with which I am often exercised ; had freedom in look-
ing up to God, at various times in the day. In the evening, I
enjoyed a comfortable season in secret prayer ; was helped to
plead with God for my own dear people, that he would carry on
his own blessed work among them ; was assisted also in praying
for the divine presence to attend me in my intended journey to
the Susquehannah ; and was helped to remember dear brethren
and friends in New-England. I scarce knew how to leave the
throne of grace, and it grieved me that I was obliged to go to
bed ; I longed to do something for God, but knew not how.
Blessed be God for this freedom from dejection.

July 30. "Was uncommonly comfortable, both in body and
mind ; in the forenoon especially, my mind was solemn ; I was
assisted in my work ; and God seemed to be near to me ; so that
the day was as comfortable as most I have enjoyed for some time.
In the evening, was favoured with assistance in secret prayer, and
felt much as I did the evening before. Blessed be God for that
freedom I then enjoyed at the throne of grace, for myself, my
people, and my dear friends. It is srood for me to draw near to
God:'

He seems to have continued very much in the same free, com-
fortable state of mind the next day.

Aug. I. " In the evening, enjoyed a sweet season in secret
prayer ; clouds of darkness and perplexing care were sweetly scat-
tered, and nothing anxious remained. O how serene was my
mind at this season ! how free from that distracting concern I
have often felt ! " Thy will be done," was a petition sweet to
my soul ; and if God had bidden me choose for myself in any
affair, I should have chosen rather to have referred the choice to
him ; for I saw he was infinitely wise, and could not do any thing

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 373

amiss, as I was in danger of doing. Was assisted in prayer for
my dear flock, that God would promote his own work among
them, and that God would go with me in my intended journey to
the Susquehannah ; was helped to remember my dear friends in
New England, and my dear brethren in the ministry. I found
enough in the sweet duty of prayer to have engaged me to con-
tinue in it the whole night, would my bodily state have admitted
of it. O how sweet it is, to be enabled heartily to say, Lord, not
my will, but thine be done.

Aug. 2. " Near night, preached from Matt. xi. 29. Take my
yoke upon you, &(-c. Was considerably helped ; and the presence
of God seemed to be somewhat remarkably in the assembly ; di-
vine truths made powerful impressions, both upon saints and sin-
ners. Blessed be God for such a revival among us. In the eve-
ning was very weary, but found my spirits supported and re-
freshed.

Lord's day, Aug. 3. " Discoursed to my people, in the fore-
noon, from Col. iii. 4, and observed, that Christ is the believer's
Life. God helped me, and gave me his presence in this dis-
course ; and it was a season of considerable power to the assem-
bly. In the afternoon, preached from Luke xix. 41, 42. And
ivhen he ivas come near, he beheld the city, <^*c. I enjoyed some
assistance ; though not so much as in the forenoon. In the eve-
ning I enjoyed freedom and sweetness in secret prayer ; God en-
larged my heart, freed me from melancholy damps, and gave me
satisfaction in drawing near to himself. Oh that my soul could
magnify the Lord, for these seasons of composure and resignation
to his will.

Aug. 4. " Spent the day in writing ; enjoyed much freedom
and assistance in my work ; was in a composed and comfortable
frame, most of the day ; and in the evening enjoyed some sweet-
ness in prayer. Blessed be God, my spirits were yet up, and I
was free from sinking damps ; as I have been in general ever
since I came from Elizabeth-Town last. O what a mercy is this !

Aug. 5. "Towards night, preached at the funeral of one of my
christians, from Is. Ivii. 2. He shall enter into peace, fyc. I was
oppressed with the nervous head-ach, and considerably dejected ;
however, had a little freedom, some part of the time I was dis-
coursing. Was extremely weary in the evening; but notwith-
standing, enjoyed some liberty and cheerfulness of mind in prayer;
and found the dejection that I feared, much removed, and my
spirits considerably refreshed."

He continued in a very comfortable, cheerful frame of mind the
next dav, with his heart enlarged in the service of God.

374 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

Aug. 7. "Rode to my house, where I spent the last winter,
in order to bring some things I needed for my Susquehannah
journey ; was refreshed to see that place, which God so marvel-
lously visited with the showers of his grace. O how amazing did
the power of God often appear there ! Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits."

The next day, he speaks of liberty, enlargement, and sweetness
of mind, in prayer and religious conversation.

Aug. 9. " In the afternoon, visited my people ; set their af-
fairs in order, as much as possible, and contrived for them the
management of their worldly business : discoursed to them in a
solemn manner, and concluded with prayer. Was composed and
comfortable in the evening, and somewhat fervent in secret prayer;
had some sense and view of the eternal world ; and found a se-
renity of mind. O that I could magnify the Lord for any free-
dom which he affords me in prayer!

Lord's day, Aug. 10. " Discoursed to my people, both parts of
the day, from Acts iii. 19. Repent ye therefore, fyc. In discours-
ing of repentance, in the forenoon, God helped me, so that my dis-
course was searching; some were in tears, bo:h of the Indians
and white people, and the word of God was attended with some
power. In the intermission, I was engaged in discoursing to
some in order to their baptism ; as well as with one who had then
lately met with some comfort, after spiritual trouble and distress.
In the afternoon, was somewhat assisted again, though weak and
weary. Afterwards baptized six persons ; three adults and three
children. Was in a comfortable frame in the evening, and enjoy-
ed some satisfaction in secret prayer. I scarce ever in my life
felt myself so full of tenderness, as this day.

Aug. « 1. "Being about to set out on a journey to the Sus-
quehannah the next day, with leave of Providence, I spent some
time this day in prayer with my people, that God would bless and
succeed my intended journey, that he would send forth his blessed
Spirit with his word, and set up his kingdom among the poor In-
dians in the wilderness. While I was opening and applying part
of the cxth and iid Psalms, the power of God seemed to descend
on the assembly in some measure; and while I was making the
first prayer, numbers were melted, and found some affectionate
enlargement of soul myself. Preached from Acts iv. 31. And
when they had prayed, the place was shaken, 4'c, God helped me,
and my intepreter also ; there was a shaking and melting among
us ; and divers, I doubt not, were in some measure " filled with

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 375

the Holy Ghost." Afterwards, Mr. Macnight prayed ; and I then
opened the two last stanzas of the lxxiid Psalm ; at which time
God was present with us ; especially while 1 insisted upon the
promise of all nations blessing the great Redeemer. My soul was
refreshed, to think, that this day, this hlessed glorious season,
should surely come ; and 1 trust, numbers of my dear people were
also refreshed. Afterwards prayed ; had some freedom, but was
almost spent ; then walked out, and left my people to carry on
religious exercises among themselves. They prayed repeatedly,
and sung, while I rested and refreshed myself. Afterwards, went
to the meeting, prayed with, and dismissed the assembly. Blessed
be God, this has been a day of grace. There were many tears
and affectionate sobs among us this day. In the evening, my soul
was refreshed in prayer ; enjoyed liberty at the throne of grace,
in praying for my people and friends, and the Church of God in
general. Bless the Lord, O my soul."

The next day he set out on his journey towards the Susque-
hannah, and six of his Christian Indians with him, whom he had
chosen out of his congregation, as those he judged most fit to as-
sist him in the business he was going upon. He took his way
through Philadelphia ; intending to go to the Susquehannah river,
far down, where it is settled b) the white people, below the coun-
try inhabited by the Indians ; and so to travel up the river to the
Indian habitations. For although this was much farther about,
yet hereby he avoided the huge mountains, and hideous wilder-
ness, that must be crossed in the nearer way ; which in time past
he found to be extremely difficult and fatiguing. He rode this
week as far as Charlestown, about thirty miles westward of Phil-
adelphia ; where he arrived on Friday : and in his way hith-
er, was for the most part, in a composed, comfortable state of
mind.

Aug. 16. " [At Charlestown.] It being a day kept by the
people of the place where I now was, as preparatory to the cele-
bration of the Lord's supper, I tarried ; heard Mr. Treat preach;
and then preached myself. God gave me some good degree of
freedom, and helped me to discourse with warmth and application,
to the conscience. Afterwards, I was refreshed in spirit, though
much tried ; and spent the evening agreeably, having some free-
dom in prayer, as well as christian conversation.

Lord's day, Aug. 17. "Enjoyed liberty, composure, and sat-
isfaction, in the secret duties of the morning ; had my heart some-
what enlarged in prayer for dear friends, as well as for myself. In

376 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

the forenoon attended Mr. Treat's preaching, partook of the
Lord's supper, five of my people also communicating in this holy
ordinance; I enjoyed some enlargement and outgoing of soul in
this season. In the afternoon preached from Ezk. xxxiii. 11.
Say unio them, as I live, saith the Lord God, &c. Enjoyed not
so much sensible assistance as the day before ; however, was
helped to some fervency in addressing immortal souls. Was
somewhat confounded in the evening, because I thought I had
done little or nothing for God ; yet enjoyed some refreshment of
spirit in Christian conversation and prayer. Spent the evening,
till near midnight, in religious exercises ; and found my bodily
strength which was much spent when I came from the public
worship, something renewed before I went to bed.

Aug. 18. "Rode on my way towards Paxton, upon Susque-
hannah river. Felt my spirits sink towards night, so that I had
little comfort.

Aug. 19. "Rode forward still; and at night lodged by the
side of the Susquehannah. Was weak and disordered both this
and the preceding day, and found my spirits considerably damp-
ed, meeting with none that I thought godly people.

Aug. 20. " Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I coughed
much bloody matter this morning, and was under great disorder
of body, and not a little melancholy; but what gave me some en-
couragement, was, I had a secret hope that 1 might speedily get
a dismission from earth, and all its toils and sorrows. Rode this
day to one Chamber's, upon the Susquehannah, and there lodged.
Was much afflicted in the evening, with an ungodly crew, drink-
ing, swearing, &c O what a hell would it be, to be numbered
with the ungodly! Enjoyed some agreeable conversation with a
traveller who seemed to have some relish of true religion.

Aug. 21. "Rode up the river about fifteen miles and there
lodged, in a family which appeared quite destitute of God. La-
boured to discourse with the man about the life of religion, but
found him very artful in evading such conversation, O what a
death it is to some, to hear of the things of God! Was out of my
element ; but was not so dejected as at some times.

Aug. 22. "Continued my course up the river ; my people
now being with me, who before were parted from me; travelled
above all the English settlements; at night lodged in the open
woods ; and slept with more comfort than while among an un-
godly company of white people. Enjoyed some liberty in se-
cret prayer, this evening; and was helped to remember dear
friends, as well as my dear flock, and the church of God in gene-
ral.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 377

Aug. 23. "Arrived at the Indian town, called Shaumoking,
near night, was not so dejected as formerly ; but yet somewhat
exercised. Felt somewhat composed in the evening; enjoyed
some freedom in leaving my all with God. Through the great
goodness of God, I enjoyed some liberty of mind ; and was not
distressed with a despondency, as frequently heretofore.

Lorcfs day, Aug. 24. " Towards noon, visited some of the
Delawares, and discoursed with them about Christianity. In the
afternoon discoursed to ihe King, and others, upon divine things;
who seemed disposed to hear. Spent most of the day in these
exercises. In the evening enjoyed some comfort and satisfac-
tion; and especially had some sweetness in secret prayer. This
duty was made so agreeable to me, that I loved to walk abroad,
and repeatedly engage in it. Oh, how comfortable is a Utile
glimpse of God !

Aug 25. " Spent most of the day in writing. Sent out my
people that were with me, to talk with the Indians, and contract
a friendship and familiarity with them, that I might have a better
opportunity of treating with them about Christianity. Some good
seemed to be done by their visit this day, divers appeared willing
to hearken to Christianity. My spirits were a little refreshed,
this evening; and I found some liberty and satisfaction in prayer.

Aug 26. " About noon, discoursed to a considerable number
of Indians. God helped me, I am persuaded ; for I was enabled
to speak with much plainness, and some warmth and power; and
the discourse had impression upon some, and made them appear
very serious. I thought things now appeared as encouraging, as
they did at Crossweeks. At the time of my first visit to those
Indians, I was a little encouraged ; I pressed things with all my
might ; and called out my people, who were then present, to give
in their testimony for God ; which they did. Towards night, was
refreshed ; had a heart to pray for the setting up of God's king-
dom here ; as well as for my dear congregation below, and my
dear friends elsewhere.

Aug. 27. " There having been a thick smoke in the house
where I lodged all night before, whereby I was almost choaked,
I was this morning distressed with pains in my head and neck,
and could have no rest. In the morning, the smoke was still the
same ; and a cold easterly storm gathering, I could neither live
within doors, nor without, a long time together. I was pierced
with the rawness of the air abroad, and in the house distressed
with the smoke. I was this day very vapoury, and lived in great
distress, and had not health enough to do any thing to any pur-
pose. 48

370 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Ave;. 28. " In the forenoon, I was under great concern of
mind about my work. Was visited by some who desired to hear
me preach; discoursed to them, in the afternoon, with some fer-
vency, and laboured to persuade them to turn to God. Was full
of concern for the kingdom of Christ, and found some enlarge-
ment of soul in prayer, both in secret and in my family. Scarce
ever saw more clearly, than this day, that it is God's work to con-
vert souls, and especially poor Heathens. I knew, I could not
touch them ; I saw I could only speak to dry bones, but could give
them no sense of what I said. My eyes were up to God for help :
I could say the work was his} and if done, the glory would be his.

Aug. 29. " Felt the same concern of mind, as the day before.
Enjoyed some freedom in prayer, and a satisfaction to leave all
with God. Travelled to the Delawares, found few at home, felt
poorly, but was able to spend some time alone in reading God's
word and in prayer, and enjoyed some sweetness in these exer-
cises. In the evening, was assisted repeatedly in prayer, and
found some comfort in coming to the throne of grace.

Aug. 30. " Spent the forenoon in visiting a trader, who came
down the river sick ; and who appeared as ignorant as any Indian.
In the afternoon, spent sometime in reading, writing, and prayer.

Lordh day, Aug. 31. "Spent much time, in the morning, in
secret duties ; found a weight upon my spirits, and could not but
cry to God with concern and engagement of soul. Spent some
time also in reading and expounding God's word to my dear fam-
ily which was with me, as well as in singing and prayer with them.
Afterwards spake the word of God, to some few of the Susque-
hannah Indians. In the afternoon, felt very weak and feeble.
Near night, was somewhat refreshed in mind, with some views of
things relating to my great work. O how heavy is my work,
when faith cannot take hold of an almighty arm. for the perform-
ance of it! Many times have I been ready to sink in this case.
Blessed be God, that I may repair to a full fountain!.

Sept. 1. "Set out on a journey towards a place called Thi
great h'and, about fifty miles distant from Shaumoking, in the
north-western branch of the Susquehaunah. Travelled some
part of the way, and at night lodged in the woods. Was exceed-
ingly feeble (his day, and sweat much the night following.

Sept* 2. " Rode forward ; but no faster than my people went
on foot. Was very weak, on this as well as the preceding days.
1 was so feeble and faint, that I feared it would kill me to lie out.
in the open air; and some of our company being parted from us,
so that we had now no axe with us, I had no way but to climb in-
to a young pine tree, and with my knife to lop the branches, and
so made a shelter from the dew. But the evening being cloudy.

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 379

and very likely for rain, I was still under fears of being extreme-
ly exposed : sweat much in the night, so that my linen was al-
most wringing wet all night. 1 scarcely ever was more weak
and weary, than this evening, when 1 was able to sit up at all.
This was a melancholy situation 1 was in ; but I endeavoured to
quiet myself with considerations of the possibility of my being in
much worse circumstances, amongst enemies, &c.

Sept. 3. " Rode to the Delaware-town ; found divers drinking
and drunken. Discoursed with some of the Indians about Chris-
tianity; observed my Interpreter much engaged and assisted in
his work ; some few persons seemed to hear with great earnest-
ness and engagement of soul. About noon, rode to a small town
of Shauwaunoes, about eight miles distant ; spent an hour or two
there, and returned to the Delaware-town, and lodged there.
Was scarce ever more confounded with a sense of my own un-
fruitfulness and unfitness for my work, than now. O what a
dead, heartless, barren, unprofitable wretch did I now see my-
self to be ! My spirits were so low, and my bodily strength so
wasted, that 1 could do nothing at all. At length, being much
overdone, lay down on a buffalo-skin ; but sweat much the whole
night.

Sept. 4. " Discoursed with the Indians, in the morning, about
Christianity ; my Interpreter, afterwards, carrying on the dis-
course to a considerable length. Some few appeared well-dis-
posed, and somewhat affected. Left this place, and returned
towards Shaumoking ; and at night lodged in the place where 1
lodged the Monday-night before : was in very uncomfortable
circumstances in the evening, my people being belated, and not.
coming to me till past ten at night ; so that I had no fire to dress
any victuals, or to keep me warm, or keep oil wild beasts ; and
I was scarce ever more weak and worn out in all my life. How-
ever, I lay down and slept before my people came up, expect-
ing nothing else but to spend the whole night alone, and without
fire.

Sept. 5. " Was exceeding weak, so that I could scarcely ride;
it seemed sometimes as if I must fall off from my horse, and lie
in the open woods: however, got to Shaumoking, towards night:
felt somewhat of a spirit of thankfulness, that God had so far re-
turned me : was refreshed to see one of my Christians, whom f
left here in my late excursion.

Sept. 6. " Spent the day in a very weak state ; coughing and
spitting blood, and having little appetite for any food I had with
me ; was able to do very little, except discourse a while of di-
vine things to my own people, and to some few I met with. Had,
by this time, very little life or heart to speak for God, through

380 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

feebleness of body, and flatness of spirits. Was scarcely ever
more ashamed and confounded in myself, than now. 1 was sen-
sible, that there were numbers of God's people, who knew I was
then out upon a design, or at least the pretence, of doing some-
thing for God. and in his cause, among the poor Indians ; and
they were ready to suppose, that I was fervent in spirit ; but O
the heartless frame of mind that I felt, tilled me with confusion !

0 methought if God's people knew me, as God knows, they
would not think so highly of my zeal and resolution for God, as
perhaps now they do ! I could not but desire they should see how
heartless and irresolute I was, that they might be undeceived,
and " not think of me above what they ought to think." And
yet I thought, if they saw the utmost of my flatness and unfaith-
fulness, the smallness of my courage and resolution for God,
they would be ready to shut me out of their doors, as unworthy
of the company or friendship of christians.

Lordh day, Sept. 7. " Was much in the same weak state of
body, and afflicted frame of mind, as in the preceding day : my
soul was grieved, and mourned that 1 could do nothing for God.
Read and expounded some part of God's word to my own dear
family, and spent some time in prayer with them ; discoursed
also a little to the Pagans ; but spent the Sabbath with a little
comfort.

Sept 8. " Spent the forenoon among the Indians ; in the af-
ternoon, left Shaumoking, and returned down the river, a few
miles. Had proposed to have tarried a considerable time longer
among the Indians upon the Susquehannah ; but was hindered
from pursuing my purpose by the sickness that prevailed there,
the weakly circumstances of my own people that were with me,
and especially my own extraordinary weakness, having been ex-
ercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a coughing up of blood,
almost the whole of the journey. I was a great part of
the time so feeble and faint, that it seemed as though I never
should be able to reach home ; and at the same time very desti-
tute of the comforts, and even the necessaries of life; at least,
what was necessary for one in so weak a state. In this journey

1 sometimes was enabled to speak the word of God with some
power, and divine truths made some impressions on divers who
heard me ; so that several, both men and women, old and young,
seemed to cleave to us , and be well disposed towards Christiani-
ty ; but others mocked and shouted, which damped those who be-
fore seemed friendly, at least some of them. Yet God, at times,
was evidently present, assisting me, my interpreter, and other
dear friends who were with me. God gave, sometimes, a good
degree of freedom in prayer for the ingathering of souls there;

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 3S1

and f could not but entertain a strong hope, that the journey
should not be wholly fruitless. Whether the issue of it would be
the setting up of Christ's kingdom there, or only the drawing of
some few persons down to my congregation in New-Jersey; or
whether they were now only being prepared for some further at-
tempts, that might be made among them, I did not determine ;
but I was persuaded, the journey would not be be lost. Blessed
be God, that Ihnd any encouragement and hope.

Sept. 9. " Rode down the river, near thirty miles. Was ex-
tremely weak, much fatigued, and wet with a thunder storm. Dis-
coursed with some warmth and closeness to some poor ignorant
souls, on the life and power of religion; what were, and what
were not the evidences of it. They seemed much astonished,
when they saw my Indians ask a blessing, and give thanks, at din-
ner; concluding that a very high evidence of grace in them; but
were astonished, when i insisted, that neither that, nor yet secret
prayer, was any sure evidence of grace. O the ignorance of the
world ! How are some empty outward forms, that may all be en-
tirely selfish, mistaken for true religion, infallible evidences of it !
The Lord pity a deluded world !

Sept. 10. " Rode near twenty miles homeward. Was much
solicited to preach, but was utterly unable, through bodily weak-
ness. Was extremely overdone with the heat and showers this
day, and coughed up a considerable quantity of blood.

Sept. 11. " Rode homeward ; but was very weak, and some-
times scarce able to ride. Had a very importunate invitation to
preach at a meeting-house 1 came by, the people being then gath-
ering ; but could not, by reason of weakness. Was resigned and
composed under my weakness; but was much exercised with con-
cern for my companions in travel, whom I had left with much re-
gret, some lame, and some sick.

Sept. 12. " Rode about fifty miles ; and came, just at night, to
a christian friend's house, about twenty-five miles westward from
Philadelphia. Was courteously received, and kindly entertained,
and found myself much refreshed in the midst of my weakness and

fatigues. . .

Sept. 13. " Was still agreeably entertained with christian
friendship, and all things necessary for my weak circumstances. In
the afternoon, heard Mr. Treat preach ; and was refreshed in con-
versation with him, in the evening.

Lord's day, Sept. 14. " At the desire of Mr. Treat and the
people, I preached both parts of the day (but short) from Luke
xiv. 23. And the Lord said unto the servant, go out, fye. God
gave me some freedom and warmth in my discourse ; and I trust,

3S2 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

helped me in some measure to labour in singleness of heart.—
Was much tired in the evening, but was comforted with the most
tender treatment I ever met with in my life. Mv mind, through
the whole of this day, was exceeding calm ; and I could ask for
nothing in prayer, with any encouragement of soul, but that " the
will of God might be done."

Sept. 15. "Spent the whole day, in concert with Mr. Treat,
in endeavours to compose a difference, subsisting between certain
persons in the congregation where we now were : and there seem-
ed to be a blessing on our endeavours. In the evening, baptized
a child ; was in a calm, composed frame; and enjoyed, I trust, a
spiritual sense of divine things, while administering the ordinance.
Afterwards, spent the time in religious conversation, till late in
the night. This was indeed a pleasant agreeable evening.

Sept. 16. " Continued still at my friend's house, about twenty-
five miles westward of Philadelphia. Was very weak, unable to
perform any business, and scarcely able to sit up.

Sept. 17. "Rode into Philadelphia. Still very weak, and my
cough and spitting of blood continued. Enjoyed "some agreeable
conversation with friends, hut wanted more spirituality.

Sept. 18. "Wont from Philadelphia to Mr. Treat's; was
agreeably entertained on the road ; and was in a sweet composed
frame, in the evening.

Sept. 19. " Rode from Mr. Treat's to Mr. Stockston's, at
Princeton : was extremely weak, but kindly received and enter-
tained. Spent the evening with some degree of satisfaction.

Sept. 20. " Arrived among my own people, near Cranberry,
just at night: found them praying together; went in, and gave
them some account of God's dealings with me and my compan-
ions in the journey ; which seemed affecting to them. I then
prayed with them, and thought the divine presence was amongst
us; divers were melted into tears, and seemed to have a sense of
divine things. Being very weak, I was obliged soon to repair to
my lodgings, and felt much worn out, in the evening. Thus God
has carried me through the fatigues and perils of another journey,
to the Susquehannah, and returned me again in safety, though un-
der a great degree of bodily indisposition. Oh that my soul were
truly thankful for renewed instances of mercy ! Many hardships
and distresses I endured in this journey ! but the Lord supported
me under them all."

Hitherto Brainerd had kept a constant diary, giving an ac-
count of what passed from day to day, with very little interrup-
tion ; but henceforward his diary is very much interrupted by his

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 383

illness ; under which he was often brought so low, as either not
to be capable of writing, or not well able to bear the burden of a
care so constant, as was requisite, to recollect, every evening, what
had passed in the day, and digest it, and set down an orderly ac-
count of it in writing. However, his diary was not wholly neg-
lected ; but he took care, from time to time, to take some notice
in it of the most material things concerning himself and the state
of his mind, even till within a few days of his death, as the read-
er will see afterwards.*

Lord's day, Sept. 21, 1746. "I was so weak that I could not
preach, nor pretend to ride over to my people in the forenoon.
In the afternoon, rode out ; sat in my chair, and discoursed to my
people from Rom. xiv. 7, 8. For none of us liveth to himself, &tc.
I was strengthened and helped in my discourse; and there ap-
peared something agreeable in the assembly. I returned to my
lodgings extremely tired, but thankful, that I had been enabled to
speak a word to my poor people, from whom I had been so long
absent. Was enabled to sleep very little this night, through wea-
riness and pain. O how blessed should I be, if the little I do
were all done with right views ! Oh that, " whether I live, I
might live to the Lord ; or whether I die, I might die unto the
Lord ; that, whether living or dying, I might be the Lord's !

Sept. 27. " Spent this day, as well as the whole week past,
under a great degree of bodily weakness, exercised with a violent
cough, and a considerable fever. I had no appetite for any kind
of food ; and frequently brought up what I ate, as soon as it was
down; oftentimes had little rest in my bed, owing to pains in my
breast and back. I was able, however, to ride over to my peo-
ple, about two miles, every day, and take some care of those who
were then at work upon a small house for me to reside in among
the Indians. f I was sometimes scarce able to walk, and never
able to sit up the whole day, through the week. Was calm and

* Mr Shepard, in his select cases resolved, under the first case says as follows : — " I
have lately known one, very able, wise and godly, put upon the rack, by him lhat,
envying God's people's peace, knows how to change himself into an angel of light ;
for it being his usual course, in the time of his health to make a diary of his hourh
life, aud finding much benefit by it, he was in conscience pressed, by the power and
delusion of Satan, to make and take the same daily survey of his life in the time ol
Iws sicbiess — by means of which he spent his enfeebled spirits, cast on fuel to fire his
.sickness. Had not a friend of his convinced him of his erroueous conscience mis-
leading him at that time, he had murdered his body, out of conscience to save his
soul, and to preserve his grace. And do you think these were the motions of God';-
Spirit, which like those locusts, Rev. ix. 9, 10. had faces like men, but had tails like
scorpions, and stings in their tails?"

1 1 his was the fourth house he built for his residence anion? the Indians. Beside
that at Kaunaumeek, and that at the Forks of Delaware, and another at Crossiteek-
sung, he built one now at Cranberry.

384 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

composed, and but little exercised with melancholy, as in former
seasons of weakness. Whether I should ever recover or no, seem-
ed very doubtful ; but this was many times a comfort to me, that
life and death did not depend upon my choice. I was pleased to
think, that He who is infinitely wise, had the determination of this
matter; and that I had no trouble to consider and weigh things up-
on all sides, in order to make the choice, whether I should live or
die. Thus my time was consumed ; I had little strength to pray,
none to write or read, and scarce any to meditate ; but through di-
vine goodness. I could with great composure look death in the
face, and frequently with sensible joy. O how blessed it is, to be
habitually prepared for death ! The Lord grant, that I may be
actually ready also !

Lord's day, Sept. 2S. " Rode to my people ; and, though
under much weakness, attempted to preach from 2 Cor. xiii. 5.
Examine yourselves, &.c. Discoursed about half an hour ; at
which season divine power seemed to attend the word : but being
extremely weak, I was obliged to desist ; and after a turn of faint-
ness, with much difficulty rode to my lodgings ; where betaking
myself to my bed, I lay in a burning fever, and almost delirious,
for several hours: till towards morning, my fever went off with a
violent sweat. I have often been feverish, and unable to rest qui-
etly after preaching ; but this was the most severe, distressing turn,
that ever preaching brought upon me. Yet I felt perfectly at rest
in my own mind, because I had made my utmost attempts to speak
for God, and knew I could do no more."

Sept. 30. " Yesterday and to-day, was in the same weak
state, or rather weaker than in days past ; was scarce able to sit
up half the day. Was in a composed frame of mind, remarkably
free from dejection and melancholy ; as God has been pleased, in
a great measure, to deliver me from these unhappy glooms, in the
general course of my present weakness hitherto, and also from a
peevish froward spirit. And O bow great a mercy is this ! Oh
that 1 might always be perfectly quiet in seasons of greatest
weakness, although nature should sink and fail ! Oh that I may
always be able with the utmost sincerity to say, " Lord, not my
will but thine be done !" This, through grace, I can say at pres-
ent, with regard to life or death, " The Lord do with me as seems
good in his sight;" that whether I live or die, I may glorify Him.
who is " worthy to receive blessing, and honour, and dominion for
ever. Amen."

Oct. 4. " Spent the former part of this week under a great de-
gree of infirmity and disorder, as I had done several weeks be-
fore ; was able, however, to ride a little every day, although un-
able to sit up half the day, till Thursday. Took some care daily
of some persons at work upon my house. On Friday afternoon.

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 385

found myself wonderfully revived and strengthened. Havin^
some time before given notice to my people, and those of them at
the Forks of Delaware in particular, that I designed, with the
leave of Providence, to administer the sacrament of the Lord's
supper upon the first Sabbath in October. On Friday afternoon
I preached preparatory to the sacrament, from 2 Cor. xiii. 5 : fin-
ishing what I had proposed to offer upon the subject the Sabbath
before. The sermon was blessed of God to the stirring up reli-
gious affection, and a spirit of devotion, in the people of God ;
and to greatly affecting one who had backslidden from God, which
caused him to judge and condemn himself. I was surprisingly
strengthened in my work, while I was speaking ; but was obliged
immediately after to repair to bed, being now removed into my
own house among the Indians ; which gave me such speedy relief
and refreshment, as I could not have well lived without. Spent
some time on Friday night in conversing with my people about
divine things, as I lay upon my bed; and found my soul refreshed,
though my body was weak. This being Saturday, I discoursed
particularly with divers of the communicants ; and this afternoon
preached from Zech. xii. 10. And I will pour on the house of Da-
vid, fyc. There seemed to be a tender melting, and hearty
mourning for sin, in numbers in the congregation. My soul was
in a comfortable frame, and I enjoyed freedom and assistance in
public service ; was myself, as well as most of the congregation,
much affected with the humble confession, and apparent broken-
heartedness of the forementioned backslider ; and could not but
rejoice, that God had given him such a sease of his sin and un-
worthiness. Was extremely tired in the evening •, but lay on my
bed, and discoursed to my people.

Lord's day, Oct. 5. " Was still very weak ; and in the morning
considerably afraid I should not be able to go through the work
of the day ; having much to do, both in private and public. Dis-
coursed before the administration of the sacrament, from John i.
29. " Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sins of the
world." Where I considered I. In what respects Christ is call-
ed the Lamb of God ; and observed that he is so called, (1,) From
the purity and innocency of his nature. (2,) From his meekness
and patience under sufferings. (3,) From his being that atonement
which was pointed out in the sacrifice of the lambs, and in partic-
ular by the paschal lamb. II. Considered how and in what sense
he "takes away the sin of the world :" and observed, that the
means and manner, in and by which he takes away the sins of men,
was his "giving himself for them," doing and suffering in their
room and stead, &c. And he is said to take away the sin of the
world, not because all the world shall actually be redeemed from

386 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

sin by him ; but because, (1.) He has done and suffered sufficient
to answer for the sins of the world, and so to redeem all mankind.
(2,) He actually does take away the sins of the elect world. And,
III. Considered how we are to behold him, in order to have our
sins taken away. (1.) Not with our bodily eyes. Nor, (2,) By
imagining him on the cross, &c. But by a spiritual view of his
glory and goodness, engaging the soul to rely on him, &c— The
divine presence attended this discourse ; and the assembly was
considerably melted with divine truths. After sermon, baptized
two persons. Then administered the Lord's supper to near forty
communicants, of the Indians, besides divers dear christians of
the white people. It seemed to be a season of divine power and
grace ; and numbers seemed to rejoice in God. O the sweet
union and harmony then appearing among the religious people !
My soul was refreshed, and my religious friends, of the white
people, with me. After the sacrament, could scarcely get home,
though it was not more than twenty roods; but was supported
and led by my friends, and laid on my bed ; where I lay in pain

»till some time in the evening ; and then was able to sit up and
discourse with friends. O how was this day spent in prayers and
praises among my dear people ! One might hear them, all the
morning before public worship, and in the evening, till near mid-
night, praying and singing praises to God. in one or other of their
houses. My soul was refreshed, though my body was weak."

This week, in two days, though in a very low state, he went to
Elizabeth-Town, to attend the meeting of the Synod there : but
was disappointed by its removal to New-York. He continued m
a very composed, comfortable frame of mind.

Oct. 11. " Towards night was seized with an ague, which was
followed with a hard fever, and considerable pain ; was treated
with great kindness ; and was ashamed to see so much concern
about so unworthy a creature, as I knew myself to be. Was in a
comfortable frame of mind, wholly submissive, with regard to life
or death. It was indeed a peculiar satisfaction to me, to think,
that it was not my concern or business to determine whether I
should live or die. I likewise felt peculiarly satisfied, while
under this uncommon degree of disorder ; being now fully con-
vinced of my being really weak, and unable to perform my" work.
Whereas at other times my mind was perplexed with fears, that I
was a misimprover of time, by conceiting I was sick, when I was
not in reality so. O how precious is time ! And how guilty it
makes me feel, when I think that I have trifled away and misim-
proved it, or neglected to (ill up each part of it with duty, to the
tmost of my ability and capacity!

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 387

Lord's day, Oct. 12. " Was scarcely able to sit up in the fore-
noon : in the afternoon, attended public worship, and was in a
composed comfortable fratne.

Lordh day, Oct. 19. " Was scarcely able to do any thing at
all in the week past except that on Thursday I rode out about four
miles ; at which time I took cold. As I was able to do little or
nothing, so I enjoyed not much spirituality, or lively religious af-
fection ; though at some times I longed much to be more fruitful
and full of heavenly affection ; and was grieved to see the hours
slide away, while I could do nothing for God. — Was able this
week to attend public worship. Was composed and comfortable,
willing either to die or live ; but found it hard to be reconciled to
the thoughts of living useless. Oh that I might never live to be a
burden to God's creation ; but that I might be allowed to repair
home, when my sojourning work is done !"

This week, he went back to his Indians at Cranberry, to take
some care of their spiritual and temporal concerns ; and was
much spent with riding ; though he rode but a little way in a
day.

Oct. 23. " Went to my own house, and set things in order.
Was very weak, and somewhat melancholy ; laboured to do some-
thing, but had no strength ; and was forced to lie down on my
bed, very solitary.

Oct. 24. " Spent the day in overseeing and directing my peo-
ple, about mending their fence, and securing their wheat. Found
that all their concerns of a secular nature depended upon me. — >
Was somewhat refreshed in the evening, having been able to do
something valuable in the day time. O how it pains me, to see
time pass away, when I can do nothing to any purpose !

Oct. 25. " Visited some of my people ; spent some time in
writing, and felt much better in body, than usual. When it was
near night, I felt so well, that I had thoughts of expounding ; but
in the evening was much disordered again, and spent the night in
coughing, and spitting blood.

Lord's day, Oct. 26. " In the morning was exceedingly weak:
spent the day, till near night, in pain, to see my poor people wan-
dering as sheep not having a shepherd, waiting and hoping to see
me able to preach to them before night. It could not but distress
me, to see them in this case, and to find myself unable to attempt
any thing for their spiritual benefit. But towards night, finding
myself a little better, I called them together to my house, and sat
down, and read and expounded Matth. v. 1 — 16. This discourse,
though delivered in much weakness, was attended with power to

388 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

many of the hearers ; especially what was spoken upon the last
of these verses ; where I insisted on the infinite wrong done to
religion, by having our light become darkness, instead of shining
before men. Many in the congregation were now deeply affected
with a sense of their deficiency with respect to a spiritual conver-
sation, which might recommend religion to others, and a spirit of
concern and watchfulness seemed to be excited in them. One,
in particular, who had fallen in the sin of drunkenness some time
before, was now deeply convinced of his sin, and the great dis-
honour done to religion by his misconduct, and discovered a great
degree of grief and concern on that account. My soul was re-
freshed to see this. And though I had no strength to speak so
much as I would have done, but was obliged to lie down on the
bed ; yet I rejoiced to see such an humble melting in the congre-
gation ; and that divine truths, though faintly delivered, were at-
tended with so much efficacy upon the auditory.

Oct. 27. " Spent the day in overseeing and directing the In-
dians, about mending the fence round their wheat : was able to
walk with them, and contrive their business, all the forenoon.
In the afternoon, was visited by two dear friends, and spent some
time in conversation with them. Towards night, I was able to
walk out, and take care of the Indians again. In the evening, en-
joyed a very peaceful frame.

Oct. 28. " Rode to Princeton, in a very weak state ; had such
a violent fever, by the way, that I was forced to alight at a
friend's house, and lie down for some time. Near night, was
visited by Mr. Treat, Mr. Beaty, and his wife, and another
friend. My spirits were refreshed to see them ; but I was sur-
prized, and even ashamed, that they had taken so much pains as
to ride thirty or forty miles to see me. Was able to sit up most
of the evening ; and spent the time in a very comfortable man-
ner with my friends.

Oct. 29. " Rode about ten miles with my friends who came
yesterday to see me ; and then parted with them all but one, who
stayed on purpose to keep me company, and cheer my spirits.
Was extremely weak, and very feverish, especially towards
night ; but enjoyed comfort and satisfaction.

Oct. 30. " Rode three or four miles, to visit Mr. Wales ; spent
some time, in an agreeable manner, in conversation ; and though
extremely weak, enjoyed a comfortable, composed frame of
mind.

Oct. 31. " Spent the day among friends, in a comfortable
frame of mind, though exceedingly weak, and under a considera-
ble fever.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 389

Nov.1. "Took leave of friends, after having spent the fore-
noon with them, and returned home to my own house. Was
much disordered in the evening, and oppressed with my cough ;
which has now been constant for a long time, with a hard pain in
my breast, and fever.

Lord's day, Nov. 2. " Was unable to preach, and scarcely able
to sit up, the whole day. Was grieved, and almost sunk, to see
my poor people destitute of the means of grace ; especially as
they could not read, and so were under great disadvantages for
spending the Sabbath comfortably. O methought, I could be
contented to be sick, if my poor flock had a faithful pastor to feed
them with spiritual knowledge ! A view of their want of this was
more afflictive to me, than all my bodily illness.

Nov. 3. " Being now in so weak and low a state, that I was
utterly incapable of performing my work, and having little hope
of recovery, unless by much riding, I thought it my duty to take
a longjourney into New-England, and to divert myself among my
friends, whom I had not now seen for a long time. Accordingly I
took leave of my congregation this day. — Before I left my people,
I visited them all in their respective houses, and discoursed to
each one, as I thought most proper and suitable for their circum-
stances, and found great freedom and assistance in so doing. I
scarcely left one house but some were in tears ; and many were
not only affected with my being about to leave them, but with the
solemn addresses I made them upon divine things ; for I was help-
ed to be fervent in spirit, while I discoursed to them. — When I
had thus gone through my congregation, which took me most of
the day, and had taken leave of them, and of the school, I left
home, and rode about two miles, to the house where I lived in
the summer past, and there lodged. Was refreshed, this eve-
ning, because I had left my congregation so well-disposed, and
affected, and had been so much assisted in making my farewell-
addresses to them.

Nov. 4. " Rode to Woodbridge, and lodged with Mr. Pier-
son ; continuing still in a very weak state.

Nov. 5. " Rode to Elisabeth-Town ; intending, as soon as
possible, to prosecute my journey into New-England. But was,
in an hour or two after my arrival, taken much worse.

" After this, for near a week, I was confined to my chamber,
and most of the time to my bed : and then so far revived as to be
able to walk about the house ; but was still confined within doors.

' In the beginning of this extraordinary turn of disorder, after
my coming to Elisabeth-Town, I was enabled through mercy to
maintain a calm, composed, and patient spirit, as I had been be-
fore from the beginning of my weakness. After I had been in

890 MEMOIRS OF BHA1NERD.

Elisabeth-Town about a fortnight, and had so far recovered that
I was able to walk about the house, upon a day of thanksgiving
kept in this place, I was enabled to recall and recount over the
mercies of God, in such a manner as greatly affected me, and
filled me with thankfulness and praise. Especially my soul prais-
ed God for his work of grace among the Indians, and the enlarge-
ment of his dear kingdom. My soul blessed God for what he is
in himself, and adored him, that he ever would display himself
to creatures. I rejoiced, that he was God, and longed that all
should know it, §nd feel it, and rejoice in it. " Lord, glorify
thyself, was the desire and cry of my soul. O that all people
might love and praise the blessed God ; that he might have all
possible honour and glory from the intelligent world !

" After this comfortable thanksgiving-season, I frequently en-
joyed freedom, enlargement, and engagedness of soul in prayer,
and was enabled to intercede with God for my dear congrega-
tion, very often for every family, and every person, in particu-
lar. It was often a great comfort to me, that I could pray
heartily to God for those, to whom I could not speak, and whom
I was not allowed to see. But at other times, my spirits were so
flat and low, and my bodily vigour so much wasted, that I had
scarce any affections at all.

During his confinement at Elizabethtown, Brainerd wrote the
following letter to his youngest brother.

To his Brother Israel, then a Student at Yale-College, Nezo-Haven.

" Elizabeth- -Town, New- Jersey, Nov. 24, 1746.

"dear brother,

" I had determined to make you and my other friends in New-
England a visit, this fall ; partly from an earnest desire I had to
see you and them, and partly with a view to the recovery of my
health ; which has, for more than three months past, been much
impaired. In order to prosecute this design, I set out from my
own people about three weeks ago, and came as far as to this
place; where, my disorder greatly increasing, I have been obli-
ged to keep house ever since, until the day before yesterday ;
when I was able to ride about half a mile, but found mj self much
tired with the journey. I have now no hopes of prosecuting my
journey into New-England this winter ; my present state of health
will by no means admit of it. Although I am, through divine
goodness, much better than I was some days ago ; yet I have not
strength now to ride more than ten miles a day, if the season

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 391

were warm, and fit forme to travel in. My disorder has been
attended with several symptoms of consumption ; and I have been
at times apprehensive, that my great change was at hand : yet
blessed be God, I have never been affrighted; but, on the con-
trary, at times much delighted with a view of its approach. O
the blessedness of being delivered from the clogs of flesh and
sense, from a body of sin and spiritual death! O the unspeaka-
ble sweetness of being translated into a state of complete purity
and perfection ! believe me, my brother, a lively view and hope
of these things, will make the king of terrors himself appear a-
greeable. Dear brother, let me intreatyou, to keep eternity in
your view, and behave yourself as becomes one that must short-
ly " give an account of all things done in the body." That God
may be your God, and prepare you for his service here, and his
kingdom of glory hereafter, is the desire and daily prayer of
" Your affectionate loving brother,

"DAVID BRAINERD."

" In December, I had revived so far as to be able to walk a-
broad, and visit my friends, and seemed to be on the gaining
hand with regard to my health, in the main, until Lord's day,
December 21. At which time I went to the public worship ; and
it being sacrament day, I laboured much at the Lord's table to
bring forth a certain corruption, and have it slain, as being an
enemy to God and my own soul ; and could not but hope, that I
had gained some strength against this, as well as other corrup-
tions; and felt some brokenness of heart for my sin.

" After this, having perhaps taken some cold, I began to de-
cline as to bodily health; and continued to do so, till the latter
end of January, 1747. Having a violent cough, a considerable
fever, an asthmatic disorder, and no appetite for any manner of
food, nor any power of digestion. I was reduced to so low a state,
that my friends, I believe, generally despaired of my life; and
some of them, for some time together, thought I could scarce
live a day. At this time, I could think of nothing, with any ap-
plication of mind, and seemed to be in a great measure void of
all affection, and was exercised with great temptations; but yet
was not, ordinarily, afraid of death.

LortVs day, Feb. 1. " Though in a very weak and low state, I
enjoyed a considerable degree of comfort and sweetness in divine
things ; and was enabled to "plead and use arguments with God in
prayer, I think, with a child-like spirit. That passage of scrip-
ture occurred to my mind, and gave me great assistance, " If ye,
being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how
much more will your heavenly Father give the holy Spirit to them

392 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

that ask him ?" This text I was helped to plead, and insist upon ;
and saw the divine faithfulness engaged for dealing with me bet-
ter than any earthly parent can do with his child. This season
so refreshed my soul, that my body seemed also to be a gainer by
it. From this time, I began gradually to amend. As I recover-
ed some strength, vigour and spirit, I found at times some free-
dom and life in the exercises of devotion, and some longings after
spirituality and a life of usefulness to the interests of the great
Redeemer. At other times, I was awfully barren and lifeless,
and out of frame for the things of God ; so that I was ready often
to cry out, " Oh that it were with me as in months past !" Oh
that God had taken me away in the midst of my usefulness, with
a sudden stroke, that I might not have been under a necessity of
trifling away time in diversions ! Oh that I had never lived to
spend so much precious time, in so poor a manner, and to so lit-
tle purpose ! Thus I often reflected, was grieved, ashamed, and
even confounded, sunk and discouraged.

Feb. 24. " I was able to ride as far as Newark, (having been
confined within Elizabeth-Town almost four months,) and the next
day returned to Elizabeth-Town. My spirits were somewhat re-
freshed with the ride, though my body was weary.

Feb. 28. " Was visited by an Indian of my own congregation ;
who brought me letters, and good news of the sober and good
behaviour of my people in general. This refreshed my soul. I
could not but soon retire, and bless God for his goodness ; and
found, I trust, a truly thankful frame of spirit, that God seemed
to be building up that congregation for himself.

March 4. " 1 met with reproof from a friend, which, although
I thought I did not deserve it from him, yet was, I trust, blessed
of God to make me more tenderly afraid of sin, more jealous
over myself, and more concerned to keep both heart and life
pure and unblameable. It likewise caused me to reflect on my
past deadness and want of spirituality, and to abhor myself, and
look on myself as most unworthy. This frame of mind continued
the next day; and for several days after, I grieved to think, thai
in my necessary diversions I had not maintained more seriousness,
solemnity, heavenly affection and conversation. Thus my spir-
its were often depressed and sunk ; and yet, I trust, that reproof
was made to be beneficial to me.

" March 11, being kept in Elizabeth-Town as a day of fasting
and prayer, I was able to attend public worship ; which was the
first time 1 had been able so to do since December 21. O, how
much weakness and distress did God carry me through in this
space of time ! But having obtained help from him. I yet live.
Oh that I could live more to his glory !

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 393

Lord's day, March 15. "Was able again to attend public
worship, and felt some earnest desires of being restored to the
ministerial work : felt, I think, some spirit and life, to speak for
God.

March 18. " Rode out with a design to visit my people ; and
the next day arrived among them : but was under great dejection
in my journey.

' On Friday morning, I rose early, walked about among my
people, and enquired into their state and concerns; and found
an additional weight and burden on my spirits, upon hearing some
things disagreeable. I endeavoured to go to God with my dis-
tresses, and made some kind of lamentable complaint ; and in a
broken manner spread my difficulties before God ; but notwith-
standing, my mind continued very gloomy. About ten o'clock, I
called my people together, and after having explained and sung a
psalm, 1 prayed with them. There was a considerable deal of
affection among them ; I doubt not, in some instances, that which
was more than merely natural.1'

This was the last interview which he ever had with his people.

CHAPTER XII.

From the termination of his Missionary Labours to his Death.

On Friday. March 20, 1747, about 11 A. M. he left Cranberry;
little suspecting that he saw it and his beloved people for the last
time. On Saturday, he came to Elizabeth-Town, enfeebled in
health, and oppressed with melancholy. Here he continued a
considerable time, labouring under the ravages of disease, and
suffering from extreme depression of spirit.

March 28. " Was taken this morningwith violent griping pains.
These pains were extreme, and constant, for several hours; s©
that it seemed impossible for me, without a miracle, to live twen-
ty-four hours in such distress. I lay confined to my bed, the
whole day. and in distressing pain, all the former part of it; but
it pleased God to bless means for the abatement of my distress.
Was exceedingly weakened by this pain, and continued so for
several days following ; being exercised with a fever, cough, and
nocturnal sweats. In this distressed case, so long as my head
was free of vapoury confusions, death appeared agreeable to me.
I looked on it us the end of toils, and an entrance into a place
" where the weary are at rest; and think I had some relish for
the entertainments of the heavenly state ; so that by these I was
allured and drawn, as well as driven by the fatigues of life. O,
how happy it is, to be drawn by desires of a state of perfect
holiness !

April 4. " Was sunk and dejected, very restless and uneasy.
b\ reason of the misimprovement of time; and yet knew not
what to do I longed to spend time in fasting and prayer, that I
night be delivered from indolence and coldness in the things of
God ; but. alas. I had not bodily strength for these exercises ! O.
how blecsed a thing it is to enjoy peace of conscience ! but how
dreadful is a want of inward peace and composure of soul ! It is
impossible. I find, to enjoy this happiness without redeeming time,
and maintaining a spiritual frame of mind.

Lord';' dvy. April 5. "It grieved me to find myself so inconceiv-
aWf barren. Mv soul thirsted for grace : but. alas, how far was
I from obtaining what appeared to me so exceeding excellent ! I
was readv to despair of ever being a holy creature and yet my
soul was "desirous of fallowing hard after God; but never did I

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

see myself so far from having apprehended, or being already per-
fect, as at this time. The Lord's supper beino; this day adminis-
tered, I attended the ordinance : and though 1 saw in myself a
dreadful emptiness, and want of grace, and saw myself as it were
at an infinite distance from that purity which becomes the gospel,
yet at the communion, especially at the distribution of the bread.
1 enjoyed some warmth of affection, and fell a tender love to the
brethren; and, I think, to the glorious Redeemer, the first-born
among them. I endeavoured then to bring forth mine and his en-
emies, and slay them before him; and found great freedom in beg-
ging deliverance from this spiritual death, as well as in asking
divine favours for my friends and congregation, and the church
of Christ in general.

April!. " In the afternoon rode to Newark, to marry the Rev.
Mr. Dickinson ;* and in the evening, performed that service.
Afterwards, rode home to Elisabeth-Town, in a pleasant frame,
full of composure and sweetness.

April 9. " Attended the ordination of Mr. Tucker,f and after-
wards the examination of Mr. Smith : was in a comfortable frame
of mind this day, and felt my heart, J think, sometimes in a spiritu-
al frame.

April 10. " Spent the forenoon in Presbyterial business. In
the afternoon, rode to Elizabethtown ; found my brother John
there :J spent some time in conversation with him ; but was ex-
tremely weak and outdone, my spirits considerably sunk, and my
mind dejected.

April 13. " Assisted in examining my brother. In the eve-
ning, was in a solemn devout frame; but was much overdone and
oppressed with a violent head-ach.

April 14. " Was able to do little or nothing: spent some time
with Mr. Byram and other friends. This day my brother went
to my people.

* The late learned and very excellent Mr. Jonathan Dickinson, pastor of a church
in Elisabeth- Town, president of the college of New Jersey, and one of the corres-
pondents of the honourable society in Scotland for propag ding Christian knowledge.
He had a ?reat esteem for Brativerd ; kindly entertained him in his house during
his sickness the winter past ; and alter a short illuess, died the ensuing October, two
days before Brainerd.

t A worthy p;ous young gentleman; who lived in the ministry but a very short
time : he died at Ptratfield in Connecticut, the December following hi* ordination, a
little while after Brainerd's death at Northampton. H° was taken ill on a journey,
returning from a visit to his friends at Milton in Massachusetts, which, as 1 lake it,
was his native place, and Harvard College the place of his education.

^ This brother of his had been sent for by the correspondents, to take care of, and
instruct Brainerd's congregation of Indians ; he being obliged by his illness to be ab-
sent from them. He continued to take care of them till Brainerd's death : and since
his death, has been ordained his successor in his mission, and to th» charge of his con-
gregation ; which continues much to flourish under his pastoral care.

3°6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

April 15. " Found some freedom at the throne of grace seve-
ral times this day. In the afternoon, was very weak, and spent
the time to very little purpose ; yet, in the evening, had, I thought,
some religious warmth and spiritual desires in prayer. My soul
seemed lo go forth after God, and take complacence in his divine
perfections. But, alas ! afterwards awfully let down my watch,
and grew careless and secure.

April 16. '• Was in bitter anguish of soul, in the morning, such
as I have scarce ever felt, with a sense of sin and guilt. I contin-
ued in distress the whole day, attempting to pray wherever I
went; and indeed could not help so doing; but looked upon my-
self so vile, that I dared not look any body in the face; and was
even grieved, thai any body should shew me any respect, or that
they should be so deceived as to think I deserved it.

April 17, "In the evening, could not but think, that God
helped me to "draw near to the throne of grace," though most
unworthy, and gave me a sense of his favour; which gave me in-
expressible support and encouragement. Though I scarcely dar-
ed to hope that the mercy was real, it appeared so great ; yet
could not but rejoice, that ever God should discover his reconcil-
ed face to such a vile sinner. Shame and confusion, at times,
covered me; and then hope, and joy, and admiration of divine
goodness gained the ascendant. Sometimes I could not but ad-
mire the divine goodness, that the Lord had not let me fall into all
the grossest, vilest acts of sins and open scandal, that could be
thought of; and felt so much necessitated to praise God, that this
was ready for a little while to swallow up my shame and pressure
of spirit on account of my sins."

After this, his dejection and pressure of spirit returned; and he
remained under it the two next days.

April 20. " Was in a very disordered state, and kept my bed
most of the day. I enjoyed a little more comfort, than in several
of the preceding days. This day I arrived at the age of twenty-
nine years.

April 21. "I set out on my journey for New-England, in or-
der (if it might be the will of God) to recover my health by riding;
travelled to New-York, and there lodged."

This proved his final departure from New-Jersey. — He travel-
led slowly, and arrived among his friends at East-Haddam, about
the beginning of May. There is very little account in his diary of
the- time that passed from his setting out on his journey to May 10.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 397

He speaks ofhis sometimes finding his heart rejoicing in the glo-
rious perfections of God, and longing to live to him; but com-
plains of the unfixedness of his thoughts, and their being easily di-
verted from divine subjects, and cries out ofhis leanness, as testi-
fying against him, in the loudest manner. Concerning those di-
versions which he was obliged to use for his health, he says, that
he sometimes found he could use diversions with " singleness of
heart," aiming at the glory of God ; but that he also found there
was a necessity of great care and watchfulness, lest he should lose
that spiritual temper of mind in his diversions, and lest they should
degenerate into what was merely selfish, without any supreme aim
at the glory of God in them.

Lord's day, May 10. " (At Had-Lime)* I could not but feel
some measure of gratitude to God at this time, wherein I was much
exercised, that he had always disposed me, in my ministry; to in-
sist on the greatest doctrines of regeneration, the new "creature,
faith in Christ, progressive sanctification, supreme love to God, liv-
ing entirely to the glory of God, be -ng not our own, and the like.
God thus helped me to see, in the surest manner, from time to
time, that these, and the like doctrines necessarily connected with
them, are the only foundation of safety and salvation for perishing
sinners ; and that those divine dispositions, which are consonant
hereto, are that holiness, " without which no man shall see the
Lord." The exercise of these God-like tempers — wherein the
soul acts in a kind of concert with God, and would be and do ev-
ery thing that is pleasing to him — I saw, would stand by the soul in
a dying hour; for God must, I think, deny himself, if he cast
away his oivn image, even the soul that is one in desires with him-
self.

Lord's day, May 17. " (At Millington)f Spent the forenoon
at home, being unable to attend public worship. At this time,
God gave me such an affecting sense of my own vileness, and the
exceeding sinfulness of my heart, that there seemed to be nothing
but sin and corruption within me. " Innumerable evils compass-
ed me about;" my want of spirituality and holy living, my ne-
glect of God, and living to myself. — All the abominations of my
heart and life seemed to be open to my view; and I had nothing
to say, but, " God be merciful to me a sinner." — Towards noon,
I saw, that the grace of God in Christ, is infinitely free towards
sinners, and such sinners as I was. I also saw, that God is the
supreme good, that in his presence is life ; and I began to long to

* A parish of Haddam, in Connecticut.
t A parish of East-Iiaddam, in Connecticut.

398 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

die, that I might be with him, in a state of freedom from all sin.
O how a small glimpse of his excellency refreshed my soul! O
how worthy is the blessed God to be loved, adored, and delight
ed in, for himself, for his own divine excellencies!

" Though I felt much dulness, and want of a spirit of prayer,
this week ; yet I had some glimpses of the excellency of divine
things; and especially one morning, in secret meditation and
prayer, the excellency and beauty of holiness, as a likeness to the
glorious God, was so discovered to me, that I began to long ear-
nestly to be in that world where holiness dwells in perfection. I
seemed to long for this perfect holiness, not so much for the sake
of my own happiness, although I saw clearly that this was the
greatest, yea, the only happiness of the sou', as that I might please
God, live entirely to hirn. and glorify him to the utmost stretch of
my rational powers and capacities.

Lord's day, May 24. " (At Long-Meadow)* Could not but
think, as I have often remarked to others, that much more of true
religion consists in deep humility, brokenness of heart, and an
abasing sense of barrenness and leant of grace and holiness, than
most who are called Christians, imagine; especially those who
have been esteemed the converts of the lute day. Many seem to
know of no other religion but elevated joys and affections, arising
only from some flights of imagination, or some suggestion made
to their mind, of Christ being theirs, God loving them, and the
like."

On Thursday, May 28, he came from Long-Meadow to North-
ampton; appearing vastly better than, by his account, he bad been
in the winter ; indeed so well, that he was able to ride twenty-
five miles in a day, and to walk half a mile ; and appeared cheer-
ful, and free from melancholy: but yet undoubtedly, at that time,
in a confirmed, incurable consumption.

I had much opportunity, before this, of particular information
concerning him, from many who were well acquainted with him;
and had myself once an opportunity of considerable conversation
and some acquaintance with him. at New-Haven, near four years
before, at the time of the commencement, when he offered that con-
fession to the rector of the college, which has been already men-
tioned in this history ; having been one whom he was pleased
then several times to consult on that affair : but now I had oppor-
tunity for a more full acquaintance with him. I found him re-
markably sociable, pleasant, and entertaining in his conversation ;

* Li Massachusetts.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 399

yet solid, savoury, spiritual, and very profitable. He appeared
meek, modest, and humble; far from any stiffness, moroseness,
superstitious demureness, or affected singularity in speech or be-
haviour, and seeming to dislike all such things. We enjoyed not
only the benefit of his conversation, hut had the comfort and ad-
vantage of hearing him pray in the family, from time to time. —
His manner of praying was very agreeable; most becoming a
worm of the dust, and a disciple of Christ, addressing an infinitely
great and holy God, the Father of mercies; not with florid ex-
pressions, or a studied eloquence ; not with any intemperate ve-
hemence, or indecent boldness. It was at the greatest distance
from any appearance of ostentation, and from every thing that
might look as though he meant to recommend himself to those
that were about him, or set himself off to their acceptance. It
was free also from vain repetitions, without impertinent excur-
sions, or needless multiplying of words. He expressed himself
with the strictest propriety, with weight and pungency ; and yet
what his lips uttered seem to flow from the fulness of his heart, as
deeply impressed with a great and solemn sense of our necessi-
ties, unworthiness, and dependence, and of God's infinite great-
ness, excellency, and sufficiency, rather than merely from a warm
and fruitful brain, pouring out good expressions. 1 know not, that
I ever heard him so much as ask a blessing or return thanks at ta-
ble, but there was something remarkable to be observed both in
the matter and manner of the performance. In his prayers, he
insisted much on the prosperity of Zion, the advancement of
Christ's kingdom in the world, and the flourishing and propaga-
tion of religion among the Indians. And he generally made it
one petition in his prayer, " that we might not outlive our useful-
ness."

Lord's day, May 31. " [At Northampton,] I had little inward
sweetness in religion, most of the week past; not realizing and be-
holding spiritually the glory of God, and the blessed Redeemer ;
from whence always arise my comforts and joys in religion, if I
have any at all: and if I cannot so behold the excellencies and
perfections of God, as to cause me to rejoice in him for what he
is in himself, I have no solid foundation for joy. To rejoice, only
because I apprehend I have an interest hi Christ, and shall be
finally saved, is a poor mean business indeed."

This week, he consulted Dr. Mather, at my house concerning
his illness ; who plainly told him, that there were great evidences
of his being in a confirmed consumption, and that he could give

400 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

him no encouragement, that he should ever recover. But it seem-
ed not to occasion the least discomposure in him, nor to make any
manner of alteration as to the cheerfulness and serenity of his
mind, or the freedom or pleasantness of his conversation.

Lord's day, June 7. "My attention was greatly engaged and
mv soul so drawn forth, this day, by what I heard of The "ex-
ceeding preeiousness of the saving grace of God's Spirit " that it
almost overcame my body, in my weak state. I saw that true
grace is exceedingly precious indeed; that it is very rare; and
that there is but a very small degree of it, even where the reality
oi it is to be found ; At least, I saw this to be my case.

" In the preceding week, I enjoyed some comfortable seasons
of meditation. One morning, the cause of God appeared ex-
ceedingly precious to me. The Redeemer's kingdom is all that
is valuable in the earth, and I could not but long for the promo-
tion of it in the world. I saw also, that this cause is God's, that
he has an infinitely greater regard and concern for it, than I could
possibly have; that if I have any true love to this blessed interest
it is only a drop derived from that ocean. Hence I was ready to
hit up my head with joy;" and conclude, "Well, if God's
cause be so dear and precious to him, he will promote it." Thus
I did as it were, rest on God that he would surely promote that
which was so agreeable to his own will ; though the time when,
must still be left to his sovereign pleasure."

He was advised by physicians still to continue riding; as what
would tend, above any other means, to prolong his life. He was
at a loss, for some time, which way to bend his course next; but
finally determined to ride from hence to Boston; we havin* con-
cluded that one of our family should go with him, and be helpful
to him in his weak and low state.

June 9. " I set out on a journey from Northampton to Boston
1 ravelled slowly, and got some acquaintance with divers minis-
ters on the road.

" Having now continued to ride for some considerable time to-
gether, I felt myself much better than I had formerly done; and
found, that in proportion to the prospect I had of being restored
to a state of usefulness, so I desired the continuance of life ; but
death appeared, inconceivably more desirable to me, than a use-
less life ; yet blessed be God, I found my heart, at times fully re-
signed and reconciled to this greatest of afflictions, if God saw fit
thus to deal with me.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 40 J

June 12. "I arrived in Boston this day, somewhat fatigued
with my journey. Observed, that there is no rest, but in God ;
fatigues of body, and anxieties of mind, attend us both in town and
country ; no place is exempted.

Lord's day, June 14. "I enjoyed some enlargement and
sweetness in family prayer, as well as in secret exercises ; God
appeared excellent, his ways full of pleasure and peace, and all
I wanted was a spirit of holy fervency, to live to him.

June 17. "This and the two preceding days, I spent mainly
in visiting the ministers of the town, and was treated with great
respect by them.

June 18. "1 was taken exceedingly ill, and brought to the
gates of death, by the breaking of small ulcers in my lungs, as my
physician supposed. In this extremely weak state, I continued
for several weeks, and was frequently reduced so low, as to be ut-
terly speechless, and not able so much as to whisper a word. Even
after I had so far revived, as to walk about the house, and to step
out of doors, I was exercised every day with a faint turn, which
continued usually four or five hours; at which times, though I was
not so utterly speechless, but that I could say Yes, or No, yet I
could not converse at all, nor speak one sentence, without mak-
ing stops for breath ; and divers times this season, my friends
gathered round my bed, to see me breathe my last, which they
expected every moment, as I myself also did.

"How I was, the first day or two of my illness with regard to
to the exercise of reason, I scarcely know. I believe I was
somewhat shattered with the violence of the fever at times; but
the third day of my illness, and constantly afterwards, for four or
five weeks together, I enjoyed as much serenity of mind, and
clearness of thought, as perhaps I ever did in my life. I think
that my mind never penetrated with so much ease and freedom
into divine things, as at this time; and I never felt so capable of
demonstrating the truth of many important doctrines of the gos-
pel, as now. As I saw clearly the truth of those great doctrines,
which are justly styled the doctrine* of grace ; so I saw with no
less clearness, that the essence of religion consisted in the soul's
conformity to God, and acting above all selfish views, for histo-
ry, longing to be for him to live to him, and please and honour
him in all things : and this from a clear view of his infinite excel-
lency and worthiness in himself, to be loved, adored, worshipped,
and served by all intelligent creatures. Thus I saw, that when
a soul loves God with a supreme love, he therein acts like the
blessed God himself, who most justly loves himself in that man-
ner. So when God's interest and his are become one, and he

402 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

longs that God should be glorified, and rejoices to think that he is
unchangeably possessed of the highest glory and. blessedness,
herein also he acts in conformity to God. In like manner, when
the soul is fully resigned to, and rests satisfied and content with
the divine will, here it is also conformed to God.

" I saw further, that as this divine temper, by which the soul
exalts God, and treads self in the dust, is wrought in the soul by
God's discovering his own glorious perfections in the face of Jesus
Christ to it, by the special influences of the holy Spirit, so he
cannot but have regard to it, as his own work; and as it is his
image in the soul, he cannot but take delight in it. Then I saw
again, that if God should slight and reject his own moral linage,
he must needs deny himself; which he cannot do. And thus I
saw the stability and infallibility of this religion ; and that those
who are truly possessed of it, have the most complete and satis-
fying evidence of their being interested in all the benefits of
Christ's redemption, having their hearts conformed to him ; and
that these, these only, are qualified for the employments and en-
tertainments of God's kingdom of glory ; as none but these have
any relish for the business of heaven, which is to ascribe glory to
God, and not to themselves ; and that God (though I would speak
it with great reverence of his name and perfection) cannot, with-
out denying himself, finally cast such away.

' The next thing I had then to do, was to inquire, whether this
was my religion : and here God was pleased to help me to the
most easy remembrance and critical review of what had passed
in course, of a religious nature, through several of the latter
years of my life. Although I could discover much corruption
attending my best duties, many selfish views and carnal ends,
much spiritual pride and self-exaltation,and innumerable other,eviIs
which compassed me about; yet God was pleased, as I was re-
viewing, quickly to put this question out of doubt, by shewing
me, that I had, from time to time, acted above the utmost influ-
ence of mere self-love ; that I had longed to please and glorify
him, as my highest happiness, &c. This review was through
grace attended with a present feeling of the same divine temper
of mind. I felt now pleased, to think of the glory of God, and
longed for heaven, as a state wherein I might glorify God perfect-
ly, rather than a place of happiness for myself. This feeling of
the love of God in my heart, which I trust the Spirit of God ex-
cited in me afresh, was sufficient to give me a full satisfaction,
and make me long, as I had many times before done, to be with
Christ. I did not now want any of the sudden suggestions, which
many are so pleased with, " That Christ and his benefits are mine;
that God loves me," &c. in order to give me satisfaction about

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 403

my states No, my soul now abhorred those delusions of Satan,
which are thought to be the immediate witness of the Spirit, while
there is nothing but an empty suggestion of a certain fact, without
any gracious discovery of the divine glory, or of the Spirit's work
in their own hearts. I saw the awful delusion of this kind of con-
fidence, as well as of the whole of that religion, from which they
usually spring, or at least of which they are the attendants. The
false religion of the late day, though a day of wondrous grace,
the imaginations, and impressions made only on the animal affec-
tions— together with the sudden suggestions made to the mind by
Satan, transformed into an angel of light, of certain facts not re-
vealed in scripture — and many such like things, I fear, have
made up the greater part of the religious appearance in many
places.

" These things I saw with great clearness, when I was thought
to be dying. God gave me great concern for his church and in-
terest in the world, at this time ; not so much because the late
remarkable influence upon the minds of people was abated, as
because that false religion — those hearts of imagination, and wild
and selfish commotions of the animal affections — which attended
the work of grace, had prevailed so far. This was that which
my mind dwelt upon, almost day and night ; and this, to me, was
the darkest appearance, respecting religion, in the land ; for it
was this chiefly, that had prejudiced the world against inward re-
ligion. And 1 saw the great misery of all was, that so few saw
any manner of difference between those exercises which are spir-
itual and holy, and those which have self-love only for their be-
ginning, centre, and end.

"As God was pleased to afford me clearness of thought, and
composure of mind, almost continually, for several weeks to-
gether under my great weakness ; so he enabled me, in some
measure, to improve my time, as I hope, to valuable purposes.
I was enabled to write a number of important letters, to friends
in remote places : and sometimes I wrote when 1 was speechless,
i. e. unable to maintain conversation with any body ; though per
haps I was able to speak a word or two so as to be heard.

Among the letters written at this period, were the following.
The reader will perceive that they were written by one, con-
scious that he was standing on the verge of the grave, and real*
king in no ordinary degree, the infinite importance of eternity.

404 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD

To his brother Israel, at College: written in the tune of his extreme illness
in Boston, a few months before his death.

" Boston, June 30, 1 747.
" My dear brother,

" It is on the verge of Eternity 1 now address you. I am hearti-
ly sorry, that I have so little strength to write what I Jong so much
to communicate to you. But let me tell you, my brother, Eter-
nity is another thing than we ordinarily take it to be in a health-
ful state. O, how vast and boundless ! O, how fixed and unal-
terable ! O. of what infinite importance is it, that we be prepared
for Eternity! I have been just a dying, now for more than a week;
and all around me have thought me so. I have had clear views
of Eternity; have seen the blessedness of the godly, in some
measure ; and have longed to share theirhappy state; as well as
been comfortably satisfied, that through grace, I shall do so : but
O, what anguish is raised in my mind, to think of Eternity for
those who arc Christless, for those who are mistaken, and who
bring their false hopes to the grave with them ! The sight was
so dreadful, 1 could by no means bear it : my thoughts recoiled,
and I said, under a more affecting sense than ever before, " Who
can dwell with everlasting burnings !" O, methought, could I now
see my friends, that I might warn them to see to it, that they lay
their foundation for Eternity sure. And for you, my dear brother,
I have been particularly concerned ; and have wondered, I so
much neglected conversing with you about your spiritual state at
our last meeting. O, my brother, let me then beseech you now
to examine, whether you are indeed a new creature? whether
you have ever acted above self? whether the glory of God has
ever been the sweetest and highest concern with you ? whether
you have ever been reconciled to all the perfections of God ?
in a word, whether God has been your portion, and a holy con-
formity to him your chief delight ? If you cannot answer posi-
tively, consider seriously the frequent breathings of your soul ;
but do not however put yourself off with a slight answer. If you
have reason to think you are graceless, O, give yourself and the
throne of grace no rest, till God arise and save. But if the case
should be otherwise, bless God for his grace, and press after holi-

ness.*

* Braijverd afterwards had greater satisfaction concerning the state of his
brother's soul, by much opportunity of conversation with him before hi? death.

MEMOIRS OF'BRAINERD. 405

" My soul longs, that you should he fitted for, and in due time
go into the work of the ministry. I cannot bear to think of your
going into any other business in life. Do not be discouraged, be-
cause you see your elder brothers in the ministry die early, one
after another. 1 declare, now I am dying, I would not have spent
my life otherwise for the whole world. But 1 must leave this with
God.

" If this line should come to your hands soon after the date, I
should be almost desirous you should set out on a journey to me :
it may be you may see me alive ; which I should much rejoice in.
But if you cannot come, I must commit you to the grace of God,
where you are. May He be your guide and counsellor, your
sanctifier and eternal portion !

" O, my dear brother, flee fleshly lusts, and the enchanting
amusements, as well as corrupt doctrines of the present day ; and
strive to live to God. Take this as the last line from

" Your affectionate dying brother.

" David Brainerd."

To a young gentleman, a candidate for the work of the ministry, for
whom he luid a special friendship; also written at the same time of his
great illness and nearness to death, in Boston.

•s Very dear sir,

:' How amazing it is, that the living who know they must die,
should, notwithstanding, "put far away the evil," in a season of
health and prosperity ; and live at such an awful distance from a
familiarity with the grave, and the great concerns beyond it!
Especially, it may justly fill us with surprise, that any whose
minds have been divinely enlightened to behold the important
things of eternity as they are, I say, that such should live in this
manner. And yet, Sir, how frequently is this the case ! Hew
rare are the instances of those who live and act, from day to day;
as on the verge of Eternity; striving to fill up all their remaining
moments, in the service, and to the honour of their great Master!
We insensibly trifle away time, while we seem to have enough of
it; and are so strangely amused, as in agreat measure to lose a sense
of the holiness and blessed qualifications necessary to prepare us
to be inhabitants of the heavenly paradise. But O, dear Sir. a
dying bed, if we enjoy our reason clearly, will give another view
of things. I have now, for more than three weeks, lain under
the greatest degree of weakness; the greater part of the vme,
expecting daily and hourly to enter into the eternal world : some-

406 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

times have been so far gone, as to be wholy speechless, lor some
hours together. O of what vast importance has a holy spiritual life
appeared to me at this season ! I have longed to call upon all my
friends, to make it their business to live to God ; and especially all
that are designed for, or engaged in the service of the sanctuary,
O dear Sir, do not think it enough, to live at the rate of common
Christians. Alas, to how little purpose do they often converse,
when they meet together! The visits, even of those who are
called Christians indeed, are frequently extremely barren ; and
conscience cannot but condemn us for the misimprovement of
time, while we have been conversant with them. But the way to
enjoy the divine presence, and to be fitted for distinguishing ser-
vice for God, is to live a life of great devotion and constant self-
dedication to him ; observing the motions and dispositions of our
own hearts, whence we may learn the corruptions that lodge there,
and our constant need of help from God for the performance of
the least duty. And O dear Sir, let me beseech you frequent-
ly to attend the great and precious duties of secret fasting and
prayer.

" I have a secret thought, from some things I have observed,
that God may perhaps design you for some singular service in the
world. O then labour to be prepared and qualified to do much
for God. Read Mr. Edwards' piece on the affections, again and
again ; and labour to distinguish clearly upon experiences and af-
fections in religion, that you may make a difference between the
gold and the shining dross. I say, labour here, if ever you would
be an useful minister of Christ; for nothing has put such a stop to
the work of God in the late day as the false religion, and the wild
affections which attend it. Suffer me therefore, finally, to intreat
you earnestly to " give yourself to prayer, to reading and medita-
tion on divine truths: strive to penetrate to the bottom of them,
and never be content with a superficial knowledge. By this
means, your thoughts will gradually grow weighty and judicious ;
and you hereby will be possessed of a valuable treasure, out of
which you may produce " things new and old," to the glory of
God.

" And now, ' I commend you to the grace of God ;' earnestly
desiring, that a plentiful portion of the divine Spirit may rest up-
on you ; that you may live to God in every capacity of life, and
do abundant service for him in a. public one, if it be his will; and
that you may be richly qualified for the " inheritance of the saints
in light.'' — I scarce expect to see your face anymore in the body;
and therefore intreat you to accept this as the last token of love,
from *' Your sincerely affectionate dying friend,

DAVID BRAINERD."

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 40?

f P. S. I am now, at the dating of this letter, considerably re-
covered from what I was when I wrote it ; it having lain by me
some time, for want of an opportunity of conveyance ; it was writ-
ten in Boston. — I am now able to ride a little, and so am removed
into the country ; but have no more expectation of recovering,
than when I wrote, though I am a little better for the present ; and*
therefore I still subscribe myself,

" Your dying friend, &c.

"D. B.'r

To his brother John, at Bethel, the town of Christian Indians, in New-
Jersey ; written likewise at Boston, when he was there on the brink of
the grave, in the summer before his death.

" DEAR BROTHER,

I am now just on the verge of Eternity, expecting very speedily
to appear in the unseen world. I feel myself no more an inhabit-
ant of earth, and sometimes earnestly long to " depart and be with
Christ. I bless God, he has for some years given me an abiding
conviction, that it is impossible for any rational creature to enjoy
true happiness, without being entirely " devoted to him." Under
the influence of this conviction I have in some measure acted.
Oh that I had done more so. I saw both the excellency and ne-
cessity of holiness in life; but never in such a manner as now,
when I am just brought from the sides of the grave. O my broth-
er, pursue after holiness ; press towards this blessed mark ; and
let your thirsty soul continually say, " I shall never be satisfied till
I awake in thy likeness." Although there has been a great deal
of selfishness in my views ; of which I am ashamed, and for which
my soul is humbled at every view ; yet, blessed be God, I find I
have really had, for the most part, such a concern for his gloryr
and the advancement of his kingdom in the world, that it is a satis-
faction to me to reflect upon these years.

" And now, my dear brother, as 1 must press you to pursue af-
ter personal holiness, to be as much in fasting and prayer, as your
health will allow, and to live above the rate of common Christians;
so I must entreat you solemnly to attend to your public work ; la-
bour to distinguish between true and false religion ; and to that
end, watch the motions of God's spirit upon your own heart.—
Look to him for help ; and impartially compare your experiences
with his word. Read Mr. Edwards on the affections ; where
the essence and soul of religion is clearly distinguished from falst

4U8 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

affections * Value religious joys according to the subject-matter
of thern : there are many who rejoice in their supposed justifica-
tion ; but what do these joys argue, but only that they love them-
selves ? Whereas, in trve spiritual joys, the soul rejoices in God
for what he is in himself; blesses God for his holiness, sovereign-
ty, power, faithfulness, and all his perfections ; adores God, that
he is what he is, that he is unchangeably possessed of infinite glory
and happiness. Now, when men thus rejoice in the perfections of
God, and in the infinite excellency of the way of salvation by Christ,
and in the holy commands of God, which are a transcript of his
holy nature ; these joys are divine and spiritual. Our joys will
stand by us at the hour of death, if we can be then satisfied, that
we have thus acted above self; and in a disinterested manner, if I
may so express it, rejoiced in the glory of the blessed God. I
fear, you are not sufficiently aware how much false religion there
is in the world; many serious christians and valuable ministers
are too easily imposed upon by this false blaze. I likewise fear,
you are not sensible of the dreadful effects and consequences of
this false religion. Let me tell you, it is the devil transformed in-
to an angel of light ; it is a fiend of hell, that always springs up
with every revival of religion, and stabs and murders the cause
of God, while it passes current with multitudes of well meaning
people for the height of religion. Set yourself, my brother, to
crush all appearances of this nature, among the Indians, and never
encourage any degrees of heat without light. Charge my people
in the name of their dying minister, yea, in the name of Him who
was dead and is alive, to live and walk as becomes the gospel. —
Tell them, how great the expectations of God and his people are

* I had at first, fully intended, in publishing this and the foregoing- letters, to have
suppressed these passages wherein my name is mentioned, and my discourse on re-
ligious affections recommended ; and am sensible, that by my doing otherwise, I shall
bring upon me the reproach of some. Cut how much soever I may be pleased with
the commendation of any performance of mine, (and I confess 1 esteem the judgment
and approbation of such a person as Braijverd worthy to be valued, and look on f)
myself as highly honoured by it,) yet I can truly say, the things that governed me
in altering my forenientioned determination with respect to these passages, were
these two. (1) What BrAinerd here says of that discourse, shews very fully and
particularly what his notions were of experimental religion, and the nature of true
piety, and how far he was from placing it in impressions on the imagination, or any
enthusiastical impulses, and how essential in religion he esteemed holy practice,
&c. &c. For all that have read that discourse, know what sentiments are there
expressed concerning those things. (2). 1 judged, that the approbation of so ap-
parent and eminent a friend and example of inward vital religion, and evangclioal
piety in the height of it, would probably tend to make that hook more serviceable :
especially anions: some kinds of zealous persons, whose benefit was especially aimed
at in the book ; "some of which are prejudiced against it, as written in too legal a
strain, and opposing; some things wherein the height of chri'tit.u rxnerience eo ist9,
and tending to build men upon their own works.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 409

from them, and how awfully they will wound God's cause, if they

fall into vice ; as well as fatally prejudice other poor Indians.

Always insist, that their experiences are rotten, that their joys are
delusive, although they may have been rapt up into the third
heavens in their own conceit by them, unless the main tenour of.
their lives be spiritual, watchful, and holy. In pressing these
things, " thou shalt both s^ve thyself and thosa that hear thee."

" God knows, I was heirtily willing to have served him longer
in the work of the ministry, although it had still been attended
with all the labours and hardships of past years, if he had seen
fit that it should be so : but as his will now appears otherwise, I
am fully content, and can with the utmost freedom say, " The will
of the Lord be done," It affects me, to think of leaving you in a
world of sin ; my heart pities you, that those storms and tempests
are yet before you, from which I trust, through grace, I am al-
most delivered. But "God lives, and blessed be my Rock ;" he
is the same almighty Friend ; and will, I trust, be your Guide and
Helper, as he has been mine.

" And now, my dear brother, " I commend you to God and to
the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and give you
inheritance among all them that are sanctified. May you enjoy
the divine presence, both in private and public ; and may " the
arms of your hands be made strong, by the right hand of the
mighty God of Jacob !" Which are the passionate desires and
prayers of

" Your affectionate dying brother,

"DAVID BRAINERD."

" At this season also, while I was confined at Boston, I read with
care and attention some papers of old Mr. Shepard's, lately come
to light, and designed for the press; and, as I was desired, and
greatly urged, made some corrections, where the sense was left
dark, for want of a word or two. — Besides this, I had many visit-
ants ; with whom, when I was able to speak, I always conversed
of the things of religion ; and was peculiarly assisted in distin-
guishing between the true and false religion of the times. There
is scarcely any subject, which has been matter of controversy of
late, but I was at one time or other compelled to discuss and shew
my opinion respecting it; and that frequently before numbers of
people. Especially, I discoursed repeatedly on the nature and
necessity of that humiliation, self-emptiness, or full conviction of a
person's being utterly undone in himself, which is necessary in or-
der to a saving faith, and the extreme difficulty of being brought
to this, and the ^reat danger there is of persons taking un with some

410 ?.1EM0IRS OF BRA1NERD.

self-righteous appearances of it. The danger of this I especial!)
dwelt upon, being persuaded that multitudes perish in this hidden
way ; and because so little is said from most pulpits to discover
any danger here : so that persons being never effectually brought
to die in themselves, are never truly united to Christ, and so perish.
I also discoursed much on what I take to be the essence of true
religion ; endeavouring plainly to describe that god-like temper
and disposition of soul, and that holy conversation and behaviour,
which may justly claim the honour of having God for its original
and patron. I have reason to hope God blessed my way of dis-
coursing and distinguishing to some, both ministers and people :
so that my time was not wholly lost."

He was much visited, while in Boston, by many persons of con-
siderable note and character, and by some of the first rank ; who
showed him uncommon respect, and appeared highly pleased and
entertained with his conversation. Beside being honoured with
the company and respect of ministers of the town, he was visited
by several ministers from various parts of the country. He took
all opportunities to discourse on the peculiar nature, and distin-
guishing characteristics of true, spiritual, and vital religion; and to
bear his testimony against the various false appearances of it, con-
sisting in, or arising from impressions on the imagination, sudden
and supposed immediate suggestions of truths not contained in the
scripture, and that faith which consists primarily in a person be-
lieving that Christ died for him in particular, &c. What he said
was, for the most part, heard with uncommon attention and re-
gard : and his discourses and reasonings appeared manifestly t©
have great weight and influence, with many with whom he con-
versed both ministers and others.*

The honourable Commissioners in Boston, of the incorporated
society in London for propagating the gospel in New-England
and parts adjacent, having newly had committed to them a legacy
of the late reverend and famous Dr. Daniel Wi'lia/ns, of London,
for the support of two missionaries to the Heathen, were pleased
while he was in Boston, to consult him about a mission to those
Indians called the Six Nations, particularly about the qualifica-
tions requisite in a missionary to those Indians. They were s©
satisfied with his sentiments on this head, and had such confidenc^-
in his faithfulness, his judgment and discretion in things of this
nature, that thev desired him to undertake to find and recommend

* I have bad advantage for the more full information of his conduct and conver-
sation, the entertainment he met with, and what passed relating to him while ia
Boston ; as he was constantly attended, during his continuauce there, by one of
my children, in order to his assistance in his illness.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 411

• wo persons fit to be employed in this business ; and very much
left the matter with him.

Several pious and generously disposed gentlemen in Boston,
moved by the wonderful narrative of his labours and success
among the Indians in New-Jersey, and more especially by their
conversation with him on the same subject ; took opportunity to
inquire more particularly into the state and necessities of his con-
gregation, and the school among them, with a charitable intention
of contributing something to promote the excellent design of ad-
vancing the interests of Christianity among the Indians. Under-
standing that there was a want of Bibles for the school, three doz-
en Bibles were immediately procured, and 14/. in bills (of the old
tenor) given over and above, besides more large benefactions
made afterwards, which I shall have occasion to mention in their
proper place.

Braixerd's restoration from his extremely low state in Boston,
so as to go abroad again and to travel, was very unexpected to
him and his friends. My daughter, who was with him. writes thus
concerning him, in a letter dated June 23. — "On Thursday, he
was very ill with a violent fever, and extreme pain in his head and
breast, and, at turns, delirious. So he remained till Saturday
evening, when he seemed to be in the agonies of death ; the fam-
ily was up with him till one or two o'clock, expecting that every
hour would be his last. On Sabbath day he was a little revived,
his head was better, but very full of pain, and exceeding sore at
his breast, much put to it for breath, &c. Yesterday he was bet-
ter upon all accounts. Last night he slept but little. This mor-
ning he was much worse. — Dr. Pynchon says, he has no hopes of
his life ; nor does he think it likely that he will ever come out of
the chamber; though he says he may be able to come to North-
ampton.— "

In another letter dated June 29, she says as follows : — Mr.
Braixerd has not so much pain, nor fever, since 1 last wrote, as
before : yet he is extremely weak and low, and very faint, ex-
pecting every day will be his last. He says, it is impossible for
him to live ; for he has hardly vigour enough to draw his breath.
I went this morning into town, and when 1 came home, Mr.
Bromfield said, he never expected I should see him alive ; for he
lay two hours, as they thought, dying ; one could scarcely tell,
whether he was alive or not ; he was not able to speak for some
time : but now is much as he was before. The doctor thinks he will
dropawayinsuchaturn. Mr. Brainerd says, he never feltany thing
so much like dissolution, as that he felt to-day ; and says, he never
had any conception of its being possible for any creature to be alive,
and yet so weak as he is from day to day. — Dr. Pynchon says, he

412 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

should not be surprised, if he should so recover as to live half a
year : nor would it surprise him, if he should die in half a day.
Since I began to write, he is not so well, having had a faint turn
again : yet patient and resigned, having no distressing fears, but
the contrary."

His physician, the honourable Joseph Pynchon, Esq. when he
visited him in his extreme illness in Boston* attributed his sinking
so suddenly into a state so extremely low, and nigh unto death, to
the breaking of ulcers, which had been long gathering in his lungs,
as Brainerd himself intimates in a forementioned passage in his
diary, and there discharging and diffusing their purulent matter.
This, while nature was labouring and struggling to throw it off,
which could be done no otherwise than by a gradual straining of
it through the small vessels of those vital parts, occasioned a high
fever and violent coughing, threw the whole frame of nature into
the utmostdisorder, and brought it near to a dissolution. But it was
supposed, if the strength of nature held till the lungs had this way
gradually cleared themselves of this putrid matter, he might re-
vive, and continue better, till new ulcers gathered and broke ;
but that this would surely sink him again, and there was no hope
of his recovery. He expressed himself to one of my neighbours,
who at that time saw him in Boston, that he was as certainly a
dead man, as if he was shot through the heart.

But so it was ordered in divine Providence, that the strength
of nature held out through this great conflict, so as just to escape
the grave at that turn ; and then he revived, to the astonishment
of all who knew his case. After he began to revive, he was visi-
ted by his youngest brother, Israel, a'student at Yale College ;
who having heard of his extreme illness, went from thence to
Boston, in order to see him ; if he might rind him alive, which he
but little expected.

This visit was attended with a mixture of joy and sorrow to
Brainerd. He greatly rejoiced to see his brother; especially
because he had desired an opportunity of some religious conver-
sation with him before he died. But this meeting was attended
with sorrow, as his brother brought to him the sorrowful tidings
of his sister Spencer's death at Haddam ; a sister, between whom
and him had long subsisted a peculiarly dear affection, and much
intimacy in spiritual matters, and whose house he used to make
his own, when he went to Haddam, his native place. He had
heard nothing of her sickness till this report of her death.
But he had these comforts, together with the tidings, viz. a confi-
dence of her being gone to heaven, and an expectation of his soon
meeting her there. — His brother contined with him till he left the
town, and came with him from thence to Northampton — Con-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERU. 4J.s

oerning the last Sabbath Brainerd spent in Boston, he writes in
his diary as follows : —

LorcPs day, July 19. "I was just able to attend public wor-
ship, being carried to the house of God in a chaise. Heard Dr.
Sewall preach, in the forenoon : partook of the Lord's supper
at this time. In this sacrament, I saw astonishing divine wisdom
displayed ; such wisdom, as I saw, required the tongues of angels
and glorified saints to celebrate. It seemed to me that I never
should do any thing at adoring the infinite wisdom of God, dis-
covered in the contrivance of man's redemption, until I arrived
at a world of perfection ; yet I could not help striving " to call
upon my soul, and all within me, to bless the name of God.1' — In
the afternoon, heard Mr. Prince preach. — I saw more of God in
the wisdom discovered in the plan of man's redemption, than I
saw of any other of his perfections, through the whole day."

He left Boston the next day. But before he came away, he
had occasion to bear a very full, plain, and open testimony against
that opinion, that the essence of saving faith lies in believing that
Christ died for me in particular ; and that this is the first act of
faith in a true believer's closing with Christ. He did it in a long
conference he had with a gentleman, who has very publicly and
strenuously appeared to defend that tenet. He had this discourse
with him in the presence of a number of respectable individuals
who came to visit Brainerd before he left the town, and to take
their leave of him. In this debate, he made this plain declaration,
at the same time confirming what he said by many arguments,
That the essence of saving faith was wholly left out of the defini-
tion which that gentleman has published ; and that the faith which
he had defined, had nothing of God in it, nothing above nature,
nor indeed above the power of the devils; and that all such as-
had this faith, and no better, though they might have this to never
so high a degree, would surely perish. He declared also, that he
never had greater assurance of the falseness of the principles of
those who maintained such a faith, and of their dangerous and de-
structive tendency, or a more affecting sense of the great delusion
and misery of those who depended on getting to heaven by such a
faith, while they had no better, than he lately had when he was-
supposed to be at the point to die, and expected every minute to
pass into eternity. — Brainerd's discourse at this time, and the
forcible reasonings by which he confirmed what he asserted, ap-
peared to be greatly to the satisfaction of those present ; as seve-
ral of them took occasion expressly to manifest to him, before
they took leave of him.

114 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

When this conversation was ended, having bid an affectionate
farewell to his friends, he set out in the cool of the afternoon, on
his journey to Northampton, attended by his brother, and my
daughter who went with him to Boston: and would have been ac-
companied out of the town by a number ot gentlemen, besides
that honourable person who gave him his company for some miles
on that occasion, as a testimony of their esteem and respect, had
not his aversion to any thing of pomp and shew prevented it.

July 25. " I arrived here, at Northampton ; having set out
from Boston on Monday, about 4 o'clock P.M. In this journey, I
rode about sixteen miles a day, one day with another. Was
sometimes extremely tired and faint on the road, so that it seem-
ed impossible for me to proceed any further: at other times I
was considerably better, and felt some freedom both of body and
mind.

Lord's day. July 26. " This day I saw clearly, that I should
never be happy ; yea, that God himself could not make me hap-
py, unless I could be in a capacity to " please and glorify him for
ever." Take away this, and admit me in ail the fine heavens that
can be conceived of by men or angels, and I should stiil be miser-
able for ever."

Though he had so revived, as to be able to travel thus far, yet
he manifested no expectation of recovery. He supposed as his
physician did, that his being brought so near to death at Boston,
was owiu£ to the breaking of ulcers in his lungs. He told me
that he had several such ill turns before, only not to so high a de-
gree, but as he supposed, owing to the same cause, viz. the break-
ing of ulcers; that he was brought lower and lower every time ;
that it appeared to him, that in his last sickness he was brought
as low as it was possible, and yet live ; and that he had not the
least expectation of surviving the next return of this breaking of
dcers ; but still appeared perfectly calm in the prospect of
death.

On Wednesday morning, the week after he cam 3 to Northamp-
ton, he took leave of his brother Israel, never expecting to see
him again in this world ; he now setting out from hence on his
journey to New-Haven.

When Brainerd came hither, he had so much strength as to be
able, from day to day, to ride out two or three miles, and to re-
turn : and sometimes to pray in the family : but from this time
he gradually decayed, becoming weaker and weaker.

While he was here, his conversation from first to last was
much on the same subjects as when in Boston. He spoke much

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 415

uf the nature of Ma religion in the heart and practice, as distin-
guished from its various counterfeits ; expressing his great concern
fhat the latter so much prevailed in many places. He often
manifested his great abhorrence of all such doctrines and princi-
ples in religion, as had any tendency to Antinomianism ; of all
such notions, as seemed to diminish the necessity of holiness
of life, or to abate men's regard to the commands of God,
and a strict, diligent, and universal practice of virtue and
piety, under a pretence of depreciating our works, and magnify-
ing "God's free grace. He spoke often, with much detestation, of
such experiences and pretended discoveries and joys, as have noth-
ing of the nature of sand if 'cation in them, as do not tend to strict-
ness, tenderness, and diligence in religion, to meekness and be-
nevolence towards mankind, and an humble behaviour. He also
declared, that he looked on such pretended humility as worthy of
no regard, which was not manifested by modesty of conduct and
conversation. He spoke often with abhorrence of the spirit and
practice which appear among the greater part of separatists at this
day in the land, particularly those in the Eastern parts of Connec-
ticut ; in their condemning, and separating from, the standing
ministry and churches, their crying down learning and a learned
ministry, their notion of an immediate call to the work of the min-
istry, and the forwardness of laymen to set up themselves as pub-
lic teachers and preachers. He had been much conversant in the
eastern part of Connecticut, it being near his native place, when
the same principles, notion, and spirit began to operate, which
have since prevailed to a greater height ; and had acquaintance
with some of those persons who are become heads and leaders of
the separatists. He had also been conversant with persons of the
same class elsewhere ; and I heard him say, once and again, that
he knew by his acquaintance with this sort of people, that what was
chiefly and most generally in repute among them as the power of
godliness, was an entirely different thing from that true vital piety
recommended in the scriptures, and had nothing in it of that na-
ture. He manifested a great dislike of a disposition in persons to
much noise and show in relgion, and affecting to be abundant in
proclaiming and publishing their own experiences. Though at the
same time he did not condemn, but approved of Christians speak-
ing of their own experiences on some occasions, and to some per
sons, with due modesty and discretion. He himself sometime^
while at my House, spake of his own experiences ; but it was al-
ways with apparent reserve, and in the exercise of care and judg-
ment with respect to occasions, persons, and circumstances. He
mentioned some remarkable things of his own religious experience
to two young gentlemen, candidates for the ministry, who watch-.

416 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

ed with him, each at different times, when he was very low, and
not far from his end ; but he desired both of them not to speak
of what he had told them till after his death.

The subject of the debate already mentioned, which he had
with a certain gentleman, the day he left Boston, seemed to lie
withrnnch weight on his mind after he came hither. He began
to write a letter to that gentleman, expressing his sentiments con-
cerning the dangerous tendency of some of the tenets he had ex-
pressed in conversation, and in the writings he had published ;
with the considerations by which the exceeding hurtful nature of
those notions is evident ; but he had not strength to finish his let-
ter.

After he came hither, as long as he lived, he spoke much of
that future prosperity of Zion, which is so often foretold and
promised in the scripture. It was a theme upon which he de-
lighted to dwell ; and his mind seemed to be carried forth with
earnest concern about it, and intense desires, that religion might
speedily and abundantly revive and flourish. Though he had not
the least expectation of recovery, yea, the nearer death advanced,
and the more the symptoms of its approach increased, still the more
did his mind seem to be taken up with this subject. He told me,
when near his end, that " he never in all his life had his mind so
led forth in desires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of
Christ's kingdom on earth, as since he was brought so exceeding
low at Boston." He seemed much to wonder, that there appear-
ed no more of a disposition in ministers and people to pray for the
flourishing of religion through the world ; that so little a part of
their prayers was generally taken up about it, in their families,
and elsewhere. Particularly, he several times expressed his
wonder, that there appeared no more forwardness to comply with
{he proposal lately made, in a Memorial from a number of minis-
ters in Scotland, and sent over into America, for united extraordi-
nary prayer, among Christ's ministers and people, for the coming
of Christ's kingdom : and sent it as his dying advice to his own
congregation, that they should practice agreeably to that propo-
sal,'*

Though he was constantly exceeding weak ; yet there appear-
ed in him a continual care well to improve time, and fill it up
with something that might be profitable, and in some respect for
the glory of God or the good of men ; either profitable conversa-

* His congregation, since this, hare with great cheerfulness and unanimity fall-
en in with this advice, and have practised agreeably to the proposal from Scotland ;
and have at times appeared with uncommon engagedness and fervency of spirit in
their meetings and united devotions, pursuant to that proposal. Also the Presby-
teries of New-York and New-Brunswick, since this, hare with one consent, fallen
in with the proposal, as likewise some others of God's people in those parts.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 417

lion ; or writing letters to absent friends ; or noting something
in his diary ; or looking over his former writings, correcting
them, and preparing them to be left in the hands of others at his
death ; or giving some directions concerning the future manage-
ment of his people ; or employment in secret devotions. He
jeemed never to be easy, however ill, if he was not doing some-
thing for God, or in his service. After he came hither, he wrote
a preface to a diary of the famous Mr. Shepard's, in those pa-
pers before mentioned, lately found ; having been much urged
to it by those gentlemen in Boston who had the care of the publi-
cation ; which diary, with hh preface, has since been published.*

In his diarv for Lord's day, Aug. 9, he speaks of longing de-
sires after death, through a sense of the excellency of a state of
perfection. — In his diary for Lord's day, Aug. 16. he speaks of
his having so much refreshment of soid in the house of God, that
it seemed also to refresh his body. And this is not only noted in
his diary, but was very observable to others ; it was very appa-
rent, not only, that his mind was exhilerated with inward conso-
lation but also that his animal spirits and bodily strength seemed
to be remarkably restored, as though he had forgot his illness. —
But this was the last time that ever he attended public worship
on the Sabbath.

On Tuesday morning that week, as I was absent on a journey,
he prayed with my family ; but not without much difficulty, for
want of bodily strength ; and this was the last family-prayer that
he ever made. — He had been wont, till now, frequently to ride
out, two or three miles : but this week, on Thursday, was the
last time he ever did so.

Lord? s day, Aug. 23. "This morning, I was considerably re-
freshed with the thought, yea, the hope and expectation of the
enlargement of Chris Ps kingdom ; and 1 could not but hope, that
the time was at hand, when Babylon the great would/a//, and
rise no more. This led me to some spiritual meditations, which
were very refreshing to me. I was unable to attend public wor-
ship, either part of the day ; but God was pleased to afford me
fixedness and satisfaction in divine thoughts. Nothing so refresh-
es my soul, as when I can go to God, yea, to God my exceeding
joy. When he is so sensibly, to my soul, O how unspeakably
delightful is this !

" In the week past, I had divers turns of inward refreshing;
though my body was inexpressibly weak, followed continually

* A part of this preface is inserted in the Reflections on these Memoirs, in a sub-
sequent part of this volume.

418 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

with agues and fevers. Sometimes my soul centred in God, a?
my only portion; and I felt that I should be for ever unhappy, if
He did not reign. I saw the sweetness and happiness of being his
subject, at his disposal. This made all my difficulties quickly
vanish.

" From this Lord's day, viz. Aug. 23. I was troubled very
much with vapoury disorders, and could neither write nor read,
and could scarcely live ; although through mercy, was not so
much oppressed with heavy melancholy and gloominess, as at
many other times."

Till this week, he had been wor.l to lodge in a room above
stairs; but he now grew so weak, that he was no longer able to
go up stairs and down. Friday, Aug. 28, was the last time he
ever went above stairs, henceforward he betook himself to a low-
er room.

On Wednesday, Sept. 2, being the day of our public lecture,
he seemed to be refreshed with seeing the neighbouring ministers
who came hither to the lecture, and expressed a great desire
once more to go to the house of God on that day : and according-
ly rode to the meeting, and attended divine service, while the
Reverend Mr. Woodbridge, of Hatfield, preached. He signified
that he supposed it to be the last time he should ever attend pub-
lic worship ; as it proved. Indeed it was the last time that he
ever went out of our gate alive.

On the Saturday evening next following, he was unexpectedly
visited by his brother, Mr. John Brainerd, who came to see him
from New-Jersey. He was much refreshed by this unexpected
visit ; this brother being peculiarly dear to him ; and he seemed
to rejoice in a devout and solemn manner, to see him, and to
hear the comfortable tidings which he brought concerning the
state of his dear congregation of Christian Indians. A circum-
stance of this visit, of which he was exceedingly glad, was, that
his brother brought him some of his private ivritings from New-
Jersey, and particularly his diary which he had kept for many
years past.

Lord's day, Sept. 6. " I began to read some of my private wri-
tings, which my brother brought me ; and was considerably re-
freshed wilh what I found in them.

Sept. 7. " I proceeded further in reading my old private wri-
tings, and found that they had the same effect upon me as before.
1 could not but rejoice and bless God for what passed long ago,
which without writing had been entirely lost.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 419

" This evening, when I was in great distress of hody, my soul
longed that God should be glorified : I saw there was no charac-
ter but this. I could not but speak to the by-standers then of the
only happiness, viz. pleasing God. O that I could for ever live
to God ! The day, I trust, is at hand, the perfect day. O the
day of deliverance from all sin !

Lord's day. Sept. 13. "I was much refreshed and engaged in
meditation and writing, and found a heart to act for God. My
spirits were refreshed, and my soul delighted to do something for
God."

On the evening following that Lord's day, his feet began to
appear sensibly swelled ; which thenceforward swelled more and
more. A symptom of his dissolution coming on. The next day,
his brother John left him, being obliged to return to New-Jersey
on some business of great importance and necessity; intending
to return again with all possible speed, hoping to see his brother
yet once more in the land of the living.

Braixerd having now, with much deliberation, considered of
the important affair before mentioned, which was referred to him
by the honourable commissioners in Boston, of the corporation
in London for the propagation of the gospel in New-England,
and parts adjacent, viz. the fixing upon and recommending of two
persons proper to be employed as missionaries to the Six Na-
tions ; about this time wrote a letter, recommending two young
gentlemen of his acquaintance to those commissioners, viz. Mr.
Elihu Spencer of East-Haddam, and Mr. Job Strong of North-
ampton. The commissioners on the receipt of this letter, cheer-
fully and unanimously agreed to accept of and employ the per-
sons whom he had recommended. They accordingly since have
waited on the commissioners to receive their instructions ; and
pursuant to these have applied themselves to a preparation for
the business of their mission. One of them, Mr. Spencer, has
been solemnly ordained to that work, by several of the ministers
of Boston, in the presence of an ecclesiastical council convened
for that purpose ; and is now gone forth to the nation of Oneidas,
about a hundred and seventy miles beyond Albany.

On Wednesday, Sept. 16, he wrote a letter to a gentleman in
Boston, (one of those charitable persons beforementioned, who
appeared so forward to contribute of their substance for promo-
ting Christianity among the Indians) relating to the growth of the
Indian school, and the need of another schoolmaster, or some per-
son to assist the schoolmaster in instructing the Indian children.
These gentlemen, on the receipt of this letter, had a meeting,
and agreed with great cheerfulness to give £200 (in bills of the

420 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

old tenor) for the support of another schoolmaster; and desired
the Rev. Mr, Pemberton of New- York, (who was then at Boston,
and was also, at their desire, present at their meeting,) as soon as
possible to procure a suitable person for that service; and also
agreed to allow £74 to defray some special charges which were
requisite to encourage the mission to the Six Nations, [besides
the salary allowed by the commissioners] which was also done on
some intimations given by Brainekd.

Brainerd spent himself much in writing those letters, being
exceedingly weak ; but it seemed to be much to his satisfaction,
that he had been enabled to do it; hoping that it was something
done for God, and which might be for the advancement of
Christ's kingdom and glory. In writing the last of these letters,
he was obliged to use the hand of another, not being able to write
himself.

On the Thursday of this week (Sept. 17,) was the last time
that ever he went out of his lodging room. That day, he was
again visited by his brother Israel, who continued with him thence-
forward till his death. On that evening he was taken with some-
thing of a diarrhea, which he looked upon as another sign of his
approaching death; whereupon he expressed himself thus; "Oh,
the glorious time is now coming! 1 have longed to serve God
perfectly : now God will gratify (hose desires!" And from time,
to time, at the several steps and new symptoms of the sensible
approach of his dissolution, he was so far from being sunk ox'
damped, that he seemed to he animated, and made more cheer-
ful; as being glad at the appearance of death? s approach. He
often used the epithet, glorious, when speaking of the day of his
death, calling it that glorious day. And as he saw his dissolution
gradually approaching, he talked much about it; and with per-
fect calmness spoke of a future state. He also settled all his af-
fairs, giving directions very particularly and minutely, concerning
what he would have done in one respect and another after his
decease. And the nearer death approached, the more desirous
he seemed to be of it. He several times spoke of the different
kinds of willingness to die; and represented it as an ignoble,
mean kind, to be willing to leave the body, only to get rid of
pain ; or to go (o heaven, only to get honour and advancement
there.

Sept. 19. " Near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my
thoughts turned thus ; " How infinitely sweet it is, to love God,
and be all for him !" Upon which it was suggested to me, " You
are not an angel, not lively and active." To which my whole
soul immediately replied, "I as sincerely desire to love and glo-

MEMOIRS OF BRAlNERD. 421

rify God, as any angel in heaven." Upon which it was suggest-
ed again, " But you are filthy, not fit for heaven." Hereupon
instantly appeared the blessed robes of Christ's righteousness, in
which I could not but exult»and triumph ; and I viewed the infi-
nite excellency of God, and my soul even broke with longings,
that God should be glorified. I thought of dignity in heaven ; but
instantly the thought returned, " I do not go to heaven to get
honour, but to give all possible glory and praise." O how I
longed that God should be glorified on earth also ! O I was made —
for eternity, — if God might be glorified ! Bodily pains I cared not
for; though I was then in extremity, I never felt easier. I felt
willing to glorify God in that state of bodily distress, as long as
he pleased I should continue in it. The grave appeared really
sweet, and I longed to lodge my weary bones in it: but Oh, that
God might be glorified ! this was the burden of all my cry. O I
knew that I should be active as an angel, in heaven ; and that I
should be stripped of my filthy garments ! so that there was no
objection. But, O to love and praise God more, to please him
forever! this my soul panted after, and even now pants for while
I write. Oh that God might be glorified in the whole earth!
"Lord let thy kingdom come." I longed for a spirit of preach-
ing to descend and rest on ministers, that they might address the
consciences of men with closeness and power. I saw that God
" had the residue of the Spirit ; and my soul longed that it should
be "poured from on high." I could not but plead with God for
my dear congregation, that he would preserve it, and not suffer
his great name to lose its glory in that work; my soul still long-
ing, that God might be glorified.''''

The extraordinary frame he was in, that evening, could not be
hid. " His mouth spake out of the abundance of his heart," ex-
pressing in a very affecting manner much the same things as are
written in his diary. Among very many other extraordinary ex-
pressions, which he then uttered, were such as these : — " My
heaven is to please God, and glorify him, and to give all to him,
and to be wholly devoted to his glory : that is the heaven I long
for; that is my religion, and that is my happiness, and always was
ever since I suppose I had any true religion : and all those that
are of that religion shall meet me in heaven. I do not go to
heaven to be advanced, but to give honour to God. It is no mat-
ter where I shall be stationed in heaven, whether 1 have a high or
low seat there ; but to love, and please, and glorify God is all. —
Had I a thousand souls, if they were worth any thing, I would
give them all to God ; but I have nothing to give, when all is
done.- — It is impossible for any rational creature to be happy

422 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

without acting all for God : God himself could not make him hap-
py any other way. 1 long to be in heaven, praising and glorify-
ing God with the holy angels ; all my desire is to glorify God. —
My heart goes out to the burying place ; it seems to me a desira-
ble place^r but O to glorify God ! that is it ; that is above all. — It
is a great comfort to me, to think, that 1 have done a little for God
in the world : Oh ! it is but a very small matter; yet I have done
a little] and I lament it, that I have not done more for him. —
There is nothing in the world worth living for, but doing good,
and finishing God's work, doing the work that Christ did. I see
nothing else in the world, that can yield any satisfaction, besides
living to God, pleasing him, and doing his whole will. — My great-
est joy and comfort lias been, to do something for promoting the
interest of religion, and the souls of particular persons : and now,
in my illness, while I am full of pain and distress, from day to
day, all the comfort I have, is in being able to do some little ser-
vice for God, either by something that I say, or by writing, or in
some other way."

He intermingled with these and other like expressions, many
pathetical counsels to those who were about him ; particularly to
my children and servants. He applied himself to some of my
younger children at this time; calling them to him, and speaking
to them one by one; setting before them, in a very plain manner,
the nature and essence of true piety, and its great importance and
necessity ; earnestly warning them not to rest in any thing short of
a true and thorough change of heart, and a life devoted to God. —
He counselled them not to be slack in the great business of re-
ligion, nor in the least to delay it; enforcing his counsels with
this, that his words were the words of a dying man: said he, " I
shall die here, and here I shall be buried, and here you will see
my grave, and do you remember what I have said to you. I am
going into eternity : and it is sweet for me to think of eternity :
the endlessness of it makes it sweet: but O what shall I say to the
eternity of the wicked ! I cannot mention it, nor think of it; the
thought is too dreadful. When you see my grave, then remem-
ber what I said to you while I was alive ; then think with your-
self, how the man who lies in that grave, counselled and warned
me to prepare for death."

His body seemed to be marvellously strengthened, through the
inward vigour and refreshment of his mind; so that, although be-
fore he was so weak that he could hardly utter a sentence, yet
now he continued his most affecting and profitable discourse to us
for more than an hour, with scarce any intermission ; and said of
it, when he had done, "it was the last sermon that ever he should

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 423

preach." — This extraordinary frame of mind continued the next
day ; of which he says in his diary as follows.

Lord's day, Sept. 20. " Was still in a sweet and comfortable
frame : and was again melted with desires that God might be glo-
rified, and with longings to love and live to him. Longed for the
influences of the divine Spirit to descend on ministers, in a special
manner. And O I longed to be with God, to behold his glory,
and to bow in his presence !"

It appears by what is noted in his diary, both of this day and the
evening preceding, that his mind at this time was much impressed
with a sense of the importance of the work of the ministry, and the
need of the grace of God, and his special spiritual assistance in this
work. It also appeared in what he expressed in conversation : par-
ticularly in his discourse to his brother Israel, who was then a
member of Yale-College at New-Haven, prosecuting his studies
for the work of the ministry.* He now, and from time to time, in
this his dying state, recommended to his brother a life of self-
denial, of weanedness from the world, and devotedness to God,
and an earnest endeavour to obtain much of the grace of God's
Spirit, and God's gracious influences on his heart; representing
the great need which ministers stand in of them, and the unspeak-
able benefit of them from his own experience. Among many
other expressions, he said thus: — "When ministers feel these
special gracious influences on their hearts, it wonderfully assists
them to come at the consciences of men, and as it were to handle
them ; whereas, without them, whatever reason and oratory we
make use of, we do but make use of stumps, instead o( hands."

Sept. 21. " I began to correct a little volume of my private
writings. God, I believe, remarkably helped me in it; my strength
was surprisingly lengthened out, my thoughts were quick and live-
ly, and my soul refreshed, hoping it might be a work for God. —
O hviv good, how siveet it is to labour for God !

Sept. 22. " Was again employed in reading and correcting,
and had the same success, as the day before. I was exceeding
weak; but it seemed to refresh my soul, thus to spend time.

* This young gentleman was an ingenious, serious, studious, and hopefully pious
person : there appeared in him many qualities giving hope of his being a great
blessing in his day. But it has pleased God, since the death of his brother, to take
hini away lso. Fie died that winter, at New-Haven January 6, 1748, of a nervous
fever, after about a fortnight's illness.

424 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Sept. 23. " I finished my corrections of the little piece before-
mentioned, and felt uncommonly peaceful : it seemed as if I had
now done all my work in this world, and stood ready for my call
to a better. As long as I see any thing to be done for God, life
is worth having : but O, how vain and unworthy it is, to live for
any lower end! — This day, I indited a letter, I think, of great
importance, to the Rev. Mr. By ram in New-Jersey. Oh that
God would bless and succeed that letter, which was written for
the benefit of his church !* Oh that God would purify the sons
of Levi, that his glory may be advanced ! This night, 1 en-
dured a dreadful turn, wherein my life was expected scarce an
hour or minute together. But blessed be God, I have enjoyed
considerable sweetness in divine things, this week, both by night
and day.

Sept. 24. " My strength began to fail exceedingly ; which
looked further as if I had done all my work : however, I had
strength to fold and superscribe my letter. About two I went to
bed, being weak and much disordered, and lay in a burning fever
till night, without any proper rest. In the evening, I got up, hav-
ing lain down in some of my clothes ; but was in the greatest dis-
tress, that ever I endured, having an uncommon kind of hiccough;
which either strangled me, or threw me into a straining to vomit ;
and at the same time was distressed with griping; nains. O the
distress of this evening ! I had little expectation of my living the
night through, nor indeed had any about me : and I longed for

the finishing moment ! J was obliged to repair to bed by six

o'clock; and through mercy enjoyed some rest ; but was griev-
ously distressed at turns with the hiccough. My soul breathed

after God, — " When shall I come to God, even to God, my ex-
ceeding joy ?" Oh for his blessed likeness !

Sept. 25. " This day, I was unspeakably weak, and little
better than speechless all the day ; however, I was able to write a
little, and felt comfortably in some part of the day. O it refresh-
ed my soul, to think of former things, of desires to glorify God,
of the pleasures of living to him ! O, blessed God, I am speed-
ily coming to thee, I hope. Hasten the day, O Lord, if it be
thy blessed will, O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Jlmen.-j

Sept. 26. "I felt the sweetness of divine things, this forenoon;
and had the consolation of a consciousness that I was doing some-
thing for God.

* It was concerning1 the qualifications of ministers, and the examination and li-
censing of candidates for the work of the ministry.

t This was the last time that ever he wrote in his Diary with his own hand !
though it is continued a little farther, in a broken manner ; written by his brother ;
fsrael, but indited by his mouth in this his weak and dying state.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 425

Lord's day, Sept. 27. "This was a very comfortable day to mv
soul : I think, 1 awoke with God. I was enabled to lift up my soul
to God, early this morning; and while I had little bodily strength,
I found freedom to lift up my heart to God for myself and others.
Afterwards, was pleased with the thoughts of speedily entering in-
to the unseen world."

Early this morning, as one of the family came into the room,
lie expressed himself thus : "I have had more pleasure this morn-
ing, than all the drunkards in the world enjoy." So much did

he esteem the joy of faith above the pleasures of sin. — He felt
that morning, an unusual appetite to food, with which his mind
seemed to be exhilarated, looking on it as a sign of the very near
approach of death. At this time he also said, "I was born on a
Sabbath-day; and I have reason to think I was new-born on a
Sabbath-day; and I hope I shall die on this Sabbath-day. I shall
look upon it as a favour, if it may be the will of God that it should
be so : I long for the time. O, why is his chariot so long in com-
ing ? why tarry the wheels of his chariot ? I am very willing to
part with all : I am willing to part with my dear brother John, and
never to see him again, to go to be for ever with the Lord.* O,
when I go there, how will God's dear church on earth be upon
my mind !"

Afterwards, the same morning, being asked how he did, he
answered, " I am almost in eternity ; I long to be there. My
work is done ; I have done with all my friends ; all the world is
nothing to me. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying
God with the holy angels. All my desire is to glorify God.

During the whole of these last two weeks of his life, he seem-
ed to continue in this frame of heart ; loose from all the world, as
having finished his work, and done with all things here below.
He had now nothing to do but to die, and to abide in an earnest
desire and expectation of the happy moment, when his soul
should take its flight, to a state of perfect holiness, in which he
should be found perfectly glorifying and enjoying God. He said,
" That the consideration of the day of death, and the day of
judgment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to him." From
time to time he spake of his being willing to leave the body and
the world immediately, that day, that night, that moment, if it

* He had, before this, expressed a desire, if it might be the will of God, to live
till his brother returned from New-Jersey : who, when he went away, intended, if
possible, to perform his journey, and return in a fortnight ; hoping once more to
meet his brother in the land of the living. The fortnight was now near expired, it
ended the next day.

426 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

was the will of God He also was much engaged in expressing
his longings that the church of Christ on earth might flourish, and
Christ's kingdom here might be advanced, notwithstanding he
was about to leave the earth, and should not with his eyes behold
the desirable event, nor be instrumental in promoting it. He said
to me, one morning, as I came into his room, "My thoughts have
been employed on the old de&r theme, Ihe prosperity of God's
church on earth. As I waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for
the pouring out of God's Spirit, and the advancement of Christ's
kingdom, for which the Redeemer did and suffered so much.
It is that especially which makes me long for it." — He expressed
much hope that a glorious advancement of Christ's kingdom was
near at hand.

He once told me, that " he had formerly longed for the out-
pouring of the Spirit of God, and the glorious times of the
church, and hoped they were coming ; and should have been
willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if that had
been the will of God ; but, says he, I am willing it should be as
it is; I would not have the choice to make for myself, for ten
thousand worlds." He expressed on his death-bed a full persua-
sion that he should in heaven see the prosperity of the church on
.earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein; and the consid-
eration of it seemed to be highly pleasing and satisfying to his
mind.

He also still dwelt much on the great importance of the work
of gospel ministers ; and expressed his longings, that they might
hejillcd with the Spirit of God. He manifested much desire to see
some of the neighbouring ministers, with whom he had some ac-
quaintance, and of whose sincere friendship he was confident, that
he might converse freely with them on that subject, before he
died. And it so happened, that he had opportunity with some of
them according to his desire.

Another thing that lay much on his heart, from time to time,
in these near approaches of death, was the spiritual prosperity of
his own congregation of Christian Indians in New-Jersey: and
when he spake of them, it was with peculiar tenderness ; so that
his speech would be presently interrupted and drowned with
tears.

He also expressed much satisfaction in the disposals of Provi-
dence, with regard to the circumstances of his death ; particular-
ly that God had before his death given him an opportunity in Bos-
ton, with so many considerable persons, ministers and others, to
give in his testimony for God against false religion, and many mis-
takes that lead to it, and promote it. He was much pleased that
he had an opportunity there to lay before pious and charitable

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 427

gentlemen (he slate of the Indians, and their necessities, to so
good etFect ; and that God had since enabled him to write to them
forther concerning these aifairs ; and to write other letters of im-
portance, which he hoped might be of good influence with regard
to the state of religion among the Indians, and elsewhere, after
his death. He expressed great thankfulness to God for his mercy
in these things. He also mentioned it as what he accounted a
merciful circumstance of his death, that he should die here. When
he was sick at Boston, nigh unto death, it was with reluctance he
thought of dying in a place where funerals are often attended with
a pomp and show, to any appearance of which he was very averse :
and though it was with some difficulty he got his mind reconciled
to the prospect then before him, yet at last he was brought to ac-
quiesce in the divine will, with respect to this circumstance of his
departure. However, it pleased God to order the event so as to
gratify his desire, which he had expressed, of getting back to North-
ampton, with a view particularly to a more silent and private
burial. And speaking of these tilings, he said, " God had grant-
ed him all his desire ;" and signified, that now he could with the
greater alacrity leave the world.

Sept. 28. " I was able to read, and make some few corrections
in my private writings ; but found I could not write, as I had
done; I found myself sensibly declined in all respects. It has
been only from a little while before noon, till about one or two
o'clock, that I have been able to do any thing for some time past:
yet this refreshed my heart, that I could do any thing either pub-
lic or private, that I hoped was for God."

This evening, he was supposed to be dying. He thought so
himself, and was thought so by those who were about him. He
seemed glad at the appearance of the near approach of death.
He was almost speechless, but his lips appeared to move : and
one that sat very near him, heard him utter such expressions as
these, "Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. — O why is his chariot
so long in coming." — After he revived, he blamed himself for
having been too eager to be gone. And in expressing what he
found in the frame of his mind at that time, he said, he then
found an inexpressiby sweet love to those whom he looked upon
as belonging to Christ, beyond almost all that ever he felt before ;
so that it "seemed, to use his own words, like a little piece of
heaven to have one of them near him." And being asked, wheth-
er he heard the prayer that was, at his desire, made with him ;
he said, " Yes, he heard everv word, and had an uncommon

128 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

sense of the things that were uttered in that prayer, and that
every word reached his heart."

On the evening of Tuesday, Sept. 29, as he lay on his bed, he
seemed to be in an extraordinary frame ; his mind greatly en-
gaged in sweet meditations concerning the prosperity of Zion
There being present here at that time two young gentlemen of
his acquaintance, who were candidates for the ministry, he de-
sired us all to unite in singing a Psalm on that subject, even
Z.ons prosperity. And on his desire we sung a part of the ciid
I salm. I his seemed much to refresh and revive him, and gave
him new strength ; so that, though before he could scarcely
speak at all, now he proceeded, with some freedom of speech
to give his dying counsels to those two young gentlemen before-
mentioned, relating to their preparation for. and prosecution of
that great work of the ministry for which they were designed •
and in particular, earnestly recommended to them frequent secret
justing and prayer : and enforced his counsel with regard to this,
from his own experience of the great comfort and benefit of it;
which, said he, I should not mention, were it not that 1 am a
dying person. After he had finished his counsel, he made a
prayer, in the audience of us all; wherein, besides praying for
this family, for his brethren, and those candidates for the minis-
try, and for his own congregation, he earnestly prayed for the
reviving and flourishing of religion in the world.— Till now, he
had every day sat. up part of the day ; but after this he never rose
irom his bed.

Sept. 30. " I was obliged to keep my bed the whole day,
through weakness. However, redeemed a little time, and with
the help ot my brother, read and corrected about a dozen pa^es
in my M. S. giving an account of my conversion.

Gel. 1. " J endeavoured again to"do something bv way of wri-
ting, but soon found my powers of body and mind utterly fail.
*elt not so sweetly, as when 1 was able to do something which 1
hoped would do some good. In the evening, was discomposed
and wholly delirious ; but it was not Jong before God was pleas-
ed to give me some sleep, and fully composed my mind.* O
blessed be God for his great goodness to me, since I was so low
at Mr. Bromfield's on Thurday, June 1 8, last. He has, except
those few minutes, given me the clear exercise of my reason,
and enabled me to labour much for him, in things both "of a pub-
he and private nature; and perhaps to do more good, than I

* From this time forward, he had the free use of his reason til] the day before hia
death. ; except that at some times he appeared a little lost for a moment when first
waking out of sleep. *

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 429

should have done if I had been well ; besides the comfortable in-
fluences of his blessed Spirit, with which he has been pleased to
refresh my soul. May his name have all the glory for ever and
ever. Amen.

Oct. 2. " My soul was this day, at turns, sweetly set on God :
I longed to be with him, that 1 might behold his glory. 1 felt
sweetly disposed to commit all to him, even my dearest friends
my dearest flock, my absent brother, and all my concerns for
time and eternity. O that his kingdom might come in the world ;
that they might all love and glorify him, for what he is in himself-
and that the blessed Redeemer might u see of the travail of his
soul, and be satisfied! Oh, come, Lord Jesus, come quickly!
Arne

55*

The next evening, Ave very much expected his brother John
from New-Jersey ; it being about a week after the time that he
proposed for his return, when he went away. Though our ex-
pectations were still disappointed, yet Brainerd seemed to con-
tinue unmoved, in the same calm and peaceful frame, which he
had before manifested ; as having resigned all to God, and hav-
ing done with his friends, and with all things here below.

On the morning of the next day, being Lord^s day, Oct. 4, as my
daughter Jerusha, who chiefly attended him, came into the
room, he looked on her very pleasantly, and said, " Dear Je-
rusha, are you willing to part with me ? — I am quite willing to
part with you : I am willing to part with all my friends : 1 am
willing to part with my dear brother John, although I love him
the best of any creature living : I have committed him and all
my friends to God, and can leave them with God. Though, if I
thought I should not see you, and be happy with you in another
world, I could not bear to part with you. But we shall spend an
happy eternity together !"f In the evening, as one came into the

* Here ends his diary. These are the Inst words which are written in it, either by
his own hand, or by any other from his mouth.

t Since this, it has pleased a holy and sovereign God to take away this my dear
child by death, on the 14th of February, next following, after a short illness of rive
days, in the eighteenth year of her age. She was a person of much the same spirit
with-BRAiNEKD. She had constantly taken care of, and attended him in his
sickness, for nineteen weeks before his death ; devoting herself to it with great
delight, because she looked on him as an eminent servant of Jesus Christ. In
this time, he had much conversation with her on the (hings of religion ; and in
his dying state, often expressed to us, her parents, his great satisfaction concerning
her true piety, and his confidence that he should meet her in heaven
and his high opinion of her, not only as a true Christian, but a very eminent saint :
one whose soul was uncommonly fed and entertained with things which appertain
to the most spiritual, experimental, and distinguishing parts of religion : and one
who, by the temper of her mind, was fitted to deny herself for God, and to do good,
beyond any young woman whatsoever, whom he knew. She had manifested a heart

430 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

room with a Bible in her hand, he expressed himself thus : " O
that dear book ! that lovely book ! I shall soon see it opened !
the mysteries that are in it, and the mysteries of God's providence
will be all unfolded !" F

His distemper now very apparently preyed on his vitals in an
extraordinary manner : not by a sudden breaking of ulcers in his
lungs, as at Boston, but by a constant discharge of purulent mat-
ter, in great quantities : so that what he brought up by expectora-
tion, seemed to be as it were mouthfuls of almost" clear pus ;
which was attended with very inward pain and distress.

On Tuesday, Oct. 6, he lay, for a considerable time, as if he
were dying. At which time, he was heard to utter, in broken
whispers, such expressions as these : " He will come, he will not
tarry. — 1 shall soon be in glory. — I shall soon glorify God with the
angels." — But after some time he revived.

The next day, Wednesday, Oct. 7, his brother John arrived
from New-Jersey ; where he had been detained much longer
than he intended, by a mortal sickness prevailing among the
christian Indians, and by some other circumstances that made his
stay with them necessary. Bbainerd was affected and refreshed
with seeing him, and appeared fully satisfied with the reasons of
his delay ; seeing the interest of religion and the souls of his peo-
ple required it.

The next day, Thursday, Oct. 8, he was in great distress and
agonies of body ; and for the greater part of the day, was much
disordered as to the exercise of his reason. In the evening, he
was more composed, and had the use of his reason well ; but the
pain of his body continued and increased. He told me that it
was impossible for any one to conceive of the distress which he
felt in his breast. He manifested much concern lest he should
dishonour God by impatience, under his extreme agony ; which
was such, that he said, the thought of enduring it one minute lon-
ger was almost insupportable. He desired that others would be
much in lifting up their hearts continually to God for him, that
God would support him, and give him patience. He signified,
that he expected to die that night ; but seemed to fear a longer
delay : and the disposition of his mind with regard to death, ap-
peared still the same that it had been all along. And notwith-
standing his bodily agonies, yet the interest of Zion lay still with
great weight on his mind ; as appeared by some considerable
discourse he had that evening with the Rev. Mr. Billing, one of

uncommonly devoted to God, in the course of her life, many years before her death ;
and said on her death bed, that "she had not seen one minute for several years,
wherein she desired to live one minute longer, for the sake of any other good in life,
but doing good, living to Cod, and doing what might be for his glorv.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 431

{he neighbouring ministers, who was then present, concerning the
great importance of the work of the ministry. Afterwards, when
it was very late in the night, he had much very proper and profit-
able discourse with his brother John, concerning his congregation
in New-Jersey, and the interest of religion among the Indians.
In the latter part of the night, his bodily distress seemed to rise to
a greater height than ever ; and he said to those then about him,
that " it was another thing to die, than people imagined ;" ex-
plaining himself to mean that they were not aware what bodily
pain and anguish is undergone before death. Towards day, his
eyes fixed ; and he continued lying immovable, till about six
o'clock, on Friday, Oct. 9, 1747, when his soul, as we may well
conclude, was received by his dear Lord and Master, as an emi-
nently faithful servant, into that state of perfection of holiness,
and fruition of God for which he had so often and so ardently long-
ed ; and was welcomed by the glorious assembly in the upper
world, as one peculiarly fitted to join them in their blessed employ
and enjoyment.

Much respect was shewn to his memory at his funeral ; which
was on the Monday following, after a sermon preached the same
day, on that solemn occasion. His funeral was attended by eight
of the neighbouring ministers, and seventeen other gentlemen of
liberal education, and a great concourse of people.

CHAPTER XI If

Reflections on the preceding Memoirs.
REFLECTION I.

We have here an opportunity, as I apprehend, in a very lively
instance, to see the nature of true religion; and the manner of
its operation; when exemplified in a high degree and in powerful
exercise. Particularly it may be vvorthy"to be observed,

I. How greatly Brainerd's religion differed from that of some
pretenders to the experience of a clear work of saving conversion
wrought on their hearts; who, depending and living on that, settle
in a cold, careless, and carnal frame of mind, and in a neglect of
a thorough, earnest religion, in the stated practice of it. Al-
though his convictions and conversion were in all respects ex-
ceedingly clear, and very remarkable; yet how far was he from
acting as though he thought he had got through his work, when
once he had obtained comfort, and satisfaction of his interest in
Christ, and title to heaven ? On the contrary, that work on his
heart, by which he was brought to this, was with him evidently
but the beginning of his work; his first entering on the great bu-
siness of religion, and the service of God ; his first setting out in
his race, His obtaining rest of soul in Christ, after earnest striv-
ing to enter in at the strait gate, and being violent to take the king-
dom of heaven, he did not look upon as putting an end to any
further occasion for striving in religion; but these were continued
still, and maintained constantly, through all changes, to the very
end of life. His work was not finished, nor his race ended, till
life was ended; agreeably to frequent scriptural representations
of the Christian life. He continued pressing forward in a con-
stant manner, " forgetting the things that were behind, and reach-
ing forth to the things that were before." His pains and earnest-
ness in the business of religion were rather increased, than di-
minished, after he had received comfort and satisfaction concern-
ing the safety of his state. Those divine principles, by which
after this he was actuated, love to God, longings and thirstings
after holiness, seem to have been more effectual to engage him to
labour and activity in religion, than the fear of hell had been be-
fore.

As his conversion was not the end of his work, or of the course
of his diligence and strivings in religion; so neither was it the end

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 433

of the work of the Spirit of God on his heart. On the contrary,
it was the beginning of the work; the beginning of his spiritual
discoveries, and holy views; the first dawning of the light, which
thenceforth increased more and more ; the beginning of his holy
affections, his sorrow for sin, his love to God, his rejoicing in
Christ Jesus, his longing after holiness. The powerful operations
of the spirit of God in these things, were carried on from the day
of his conversion, in a continued course, to his dying day. His
religious experiences, his admiration, his joy, praise and flowing
affections, did not maintain a considerable height merely for a few
days, weeks, or months, at first, while hope and comfort were new
things with him; and then gradually dwindle and die away, till
they came to almost nothing, and so leave him without any sensi-
ble or remarkable experience of spiritual discoveries, or holy and
divine affections, for months together. Many after the effect of
novelty is over, soon find their situation and feelings very much
the same as before their supposed conversion, with respect to any
present views of God's glory, of Christ's excellency, or of the
beauty of divine things ; and with respect to any present thirstings
for God, or ardent out goings of their souls after divine objects.
Now and then, indeed, they have a comfortable reflection on the
past and are somewhat affected with the remembrance, and so
rest easy, thinking that it is safe, and they doubt not but they shall
go to heaven when they die. Far otherwise was it with Brain-
erd. His experiences, instead of dying away, were evidently
of an increasing nature. His first love, and other holy affections
even at the beginning were very great; but after the lapse oi
months and years, became much greater and more remarkable.
The spiritual exercises of his mind continued exceedingly great,
Tthough not equally so at all times, yet usually so] without indul-
ged remissness, and without habitual dwindling and dying away,
even till his decease. They began in a time of general deadness
all over the land, and were greatly increased in a time ot general
reviving of religion. When religion decayed again, and a gene-
ral deadness returned ; his experiences were still kept up in their
height and his holy exercises maintained in their life and vigour.
Thus they continued wherever he was, and whatever h.s cir-
cumstances were ; among English and Indians in company and
alone, in towns and cities, and in the howling wilderness, in sick-
ness and in health, living and dying. This is agreeable to he
scriptural descriptions of true and genuine religion, and of the
Christian life. The change wrought in him at h.s conversion, vvas
agreeable to the scriptural representations of that change which is
wrought in true conversion ; a great change and an abiding

434 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

change, rendering him a new man, a new creature; not merely a
change as to hope and comfort, and an apprehension of his owi
good estate, and a transient change, consisting in high flights of
passing affection ; but a change of nature, a change of the abid-
ing habit and temper of his mind. Not a partial change merely
in point of opinion, or outward reformation ; much less a change
from one error to another, or from one sin to another; but an uni-
versal change, both internal and external ; as from corrupt and
dangerous principles in religion, unto the belief of the truth, s©
from both the habits and the ways of sin, unto universal holiness
of heart and practice; from the power and service of Satan unto
God.

II. His religion apparently and greatly differed from that of
many high pretenders to religion, who are frequently actuated by
vehement emotions of mind, and are carried on in a course of sud-
den and strong impressions, and supposed high illuminations and
immediate discoveries; and at the same time are persons of a viru-
lent " zeal, not according to knowledge."

His convictions, preceding his conversion, did not arise from
any frightful impressions of his imagination, or any external ima-
ges and ideas of fire and brimstone, a sword of vengeance drawn,
a dark pit open, devils in terrible shapes, &ic. strongly fixed on his
mind. His sight of his own sinfulness did not consist in any ima-
gination of a heap of loathsome material filthiness within him ;
nor did his sense of the hardness of his heart consist in any bodily
feeling in his breast of something hard and heavy like a stone, nor
in any imaginations whatever of such a nature.

His first discovery of God or Christ, at his conversion, was not
any strong idea of any external glory or brightness, or majesty
and beauty of countenance, or pleasant voice; nor was it any
supposed immediate manifestation of God's love to him in par-
ticular; nor any imagination of Christ's smiling face, arms open,
or words immediately spoken to him, as by name, revealing
Christ's love to him; either words of scripture, or any other.
But it was a manifestation of God's glory, and the beauty of his
nature, as supremely excellent in itself; powerfully drawing, and
sweetly captivating his heart, and bringing him to a hearty desire
to exalt God, to set him on the throne, and to give him supreme
honour and glory, as the King and Sovereign of the Universe :
and also a new sense of the infinite wisdom, suitableness, and ex-
cellency of the way of salvation by Christ; powerfully engaging
his whole soul to embrace this way of salvation, and to delight in
it. His first faith did not consist in believing that Christ loved
him, and died for him in particular. His first comfort was not from

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 436

any secret suggestion of God's eternal love to him, or that God
was reconciled to him, or intended great mercy for him ; by any
such texts as these, " Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiv-
en thee. Fear not, I am thy God," &tc. or in any such way. On
the contrary, when God's glory was first discovered to him, it was
without any thought of salvation as his own. His first experience
of the sanctifying and comforting power of God's Spirit did not
begin in some bodily sensation, any pleasant warm feeling in his
breast which some would have called feeling the love of Christ, in
him and being full of the Spirit. How exceedingly far were his
experiences, at his first conversion, from all things of such a na-
ture.

If we look through the whole series of his experiences, from
his conversion to his death, we shall find none of this kind. I
have had occasion to read his diary over and over, and very par-
ticularly and critically to review every passage in it ; and I find
bo one instance of a strong impression on his imagination, through
his whole life ; no instance of a strongly impressed idea of any ex-
ternal glory and brightness, of any bodily form or shape, any
beautiful majestic countenance. There is no imaginary sight of
Christ hanging on the cross with his blood streaming from his
wounds ; or seated in heaven on a, bright throne, with angels and
saints bowing before him ; or with a countenance smiling on him ;
or arms open to embrace him : no sight of heaven, in his imagi-
nation, with gates of pearl, and golden streets, and vast multi-
tudes of glorious inhabitants, with shining garments. There is no
sight of the book of life opened, with his name written in it ; no
hearing of the sweet music made by the songs of heavenly hosts ;
no hearing God or Christ immediately speaking to him ; nor any-
sudden suggestions of words or sentences, either of scripture or
any other, as then immediately spoken or sent to him ; no new
objective revelations ; no sudden strong suggestions of secret facts.
Nor do 1 find any one instance in all the records which he has
left of his own life, from beginning to end, of joy excited from a
supposed immediate witness of the Spirit; or inward immediate
suggestion, that hjs state was surely good, that God loved him
with an everlasting love, that Christ died for him in particular,
and that heaven was his ; either with or without a text of scrip-
ture. There is no instance of comfort from any sudden sugges-
tion to his mind, as though at that very time directed by God to
him in particular, of any such texts as these ; " Fear not ; I am
with thee ;" — " It is your Father's good pleasure to give you the
kingdom ;" — ■' You have not chosen me, but I have chosen
you ;" — " I have called thee by thy name, thou art mine ;" —
" Before thou wast formed in the belly, I knew thee,'' &c. There

436 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

is no supposed communion and conversation with God carried on
in this way ; nor any such supposed tasting of the love of Christ.
But the way in which he was satisfied of his own good estate,
even to the entire abolishing of fear, was by feeling within him-
self the lively actings of a holy temper and heavenly disposition,
the vigorous exercises of that divine love which casteth out fear.
This was the way in which he had full satisfaction soon after his
conversion, (see his diary for Oct- 18, and 19, 1740.) We find
no other way of satisfaction through his whole life afterwards ;
and this he abundantly declared to be the way, the only way, in
which he had complete satisfaction, when he looked death in the
face, in its near approaches.

Some of the pretenders to an immediate witness by suggestion,
and defenders of it, with an assuming confidence would persuade
us, that there is no full assurance without it ; and that the way of
being satisfied by signs, and arguing an interest in Christ from
sanctification, if it will keep men quiet in life and health, yet
will never do when they come to die. Then, they say, men
must have immediate witness, or else be in a dreadful uncertain-
ty. Brainerd's experience is a confutation of this ; for in him
we have an instance of one who possessed as constant, as unsha-
ken an assurance, through the course of his life, after conversion,
as perhaps can be produced In this age. Yet he obtained and
enjoyed it without any such sort of testimony, and without the
least appearance of it, or pretence to it ; yea, while utterly dis-
claiming any such thing, and declaring against it. His assurance,
we need not scruple to affirm, has as fair a claim, and as just a
pretension, to truth and genuineness, as any which the preten-
ders to immediate witness can produce. He not only had such as-
surance in life, but had it in a constant manner in his last illness ;
and particularly in the latter stages of it, through those last
months of his life wherein death was more sensibly approaching,
without the least hope of life. He had it too in its fulness, and
in the height of its exercise, under repeated trials, in this space
of time ; when brought from time to time to the very brink of the
grave, expecting in a few minutes to be in eternity. He had
" the full assurance of hope, unto the end." When on the verge
of eternity, he then declared his assurance to be such as perfectly
excluded all fear. Not only so, but it manifestly filled his soul
with exceeding joy ; he declaring at the same time, that this his
consolation and good hope through grace, arose wholly from the
evidence he had of his good estate, by what he found of his sancti-
fication, or the exercise of a holy heavenly temper of mind, su-.
preme love to God, &c. and not in the least from any immediate
witness by suggestion. Yea, he declares that, at these very

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 437

times, he saw the awful delusion of that confidence which is built
on such a foundation, as well as of the whole of that religion
which it usually springs from, or at least is the attendant of; and
that his soul abhorred those delusions : and he continued in this
mind, often expressing it with much solemnity, even till death.

III. Brainekb's religion was not selfish and mercenary; hie
love to God was primarily and principally for the supreme ex-
cellency of his own nature, and not built on a preconceived no-
tion that God loved him, had received him into favour, and had
done great things/br him, or promised great things to him. His
joy was joy in God, and not in himself. We see by his diary how,
from time to time, through the course of his life, his soul was
filled with ineffable sweetness and comfort. But what was
the spring of this strong and abiding consolation ? Not so much
the consideration of the sure grounds he had to think that his state
was good, that God had delivered him from helh and that heaven
was his ; or any thoughts concerning his own distinguished happy
and exalted circumstances, as a high favourite of Heaven : but
the sweet meditations and refreshing views he had of divine things
without himself ; the affecting considerations and lively ideas of
God's infinite glory, his unchangeable blessedness, his sovert ;gn-
ty and universal dominion; together with the sweet exercises of
love to God, giving himself up to him, abasing himself before
him, denying himself for him, depending upon him, acting for
his glory, diligently serving him ; and the pleasing prospects or
hopes he had of a future advancement of the kingdom of Christ,
&c.

It appears plainly and abundantly all along, from his conver-
sion to his death, that the sort of good, which was the great ob-
ject of the new relish and appetite given him in conversion, and
thenceforward maintained and increased in his heart, whs holi-
ness, conformity to God, living to God, and glorifying him.
This was what drew his heart ; this was the centre of his -on! ;
this was the ocean to which all the streams of his religious affec-
tions tended ; this was the object which engaged his eager
thirsting desires and earnest pursuits. He knew no true excel-
lency, or happiness, but this ; this was what he longed for most
vehemently and constantly on earth ; and this was with him the
beauty and blessedness of heaven. This made him so much and
so often long for that world of glory. It was to be perfectly ho-
ly, and perfectly exercised in the holy employments o£ heaven;
and thus, " to glorify God and enjoy him for ever."

His religious illuminations, affections, and comfort, seemed,
to a great degree, to be attended with evangelical humiliation ;
consisting in a sense of his own utter insufficiency, despicable-

438 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

ness, and odiousness ; with an answerable disposition and frame
of heart. How deeply affected was he almost continually with
his great defects in religion ; with his vast distance from that
spirituality and holy frame of mind that became him ; with his
ignorance, pride, deadness, unsteadiness, barrenness ? He was
not only affected with the remembrance of his former sinfulness,
before his conversion, but with the sense of his present vileness
and pollution. He was not only disposed to think meanly of him-
self as before God, and in comparison of him ; but amongst men,
and as compared with them. He was apt to think other saints
better than himself ; yea, to look on himself as the meanest and
least of saints ; yea, very often, as the vilest and worst of man-
kind. And notwithstanding his great attainments in spiritual
knowledge, yet we find there is scarce any thing, with a sense of
which he is more frequently affected and abased, than his igno-
rance.

How eminently did he appear to be of a meek and quiet spirit,
resembling the lamb-like, dove-like Spirit of Jesus Christ! How
full of love, meekness, quietness, forgiveness, and mercy ! His
love was not merely a fondness and zeal for a party, but an uni-
versal benevolence ; very often exercised in the most sensible and
ardent love to his greatest opposers and enemies. His love and
meekness were not a mere pretence, and outward profession and
shew ; but they were effectual things, manifested in expensive
and laborious deeds of love and kindness ; and in a meek be-
haviour ; readily confessing faults under the greatest trials, and
humbling himself even at the feet of those from whom he sup-
posed he had suffered most ; and from time to time very frequent-
ly praying for his enemies, abhorring the thoughts of bitterness
or resentment towards them. I scarcely know where to look for
any parallel instance of self-denial, in these respects, in the pres-
ent age. He was a person of great zeal; but how did he abhor
a bitter zeal, and lament it where he saw it ! And though he was
once drawn into some degrees of it, by the force of prevailing
example, as it were in his childhood ; yet how did he go about
with a heart bruised and broken in pieces for it all his life after !

Of how soft and tender a spirit was he ! How far were his ex-
periences, hopes, and joys, from a tendency finally to stupify
and harden him, to lessen convictions and tenderness of con-
science, to cause him to be less affected with present and past
sins, and less conscientious with respect to future sins. How far
were they from making him more easy, in neglect of duties
which are troublesome and inconvenient, more slow and partial
in complying with difficult commands, less apt to be alarmed at
the appearance of his own defects and transgressions, more easily

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 439

induced to a compliance with carnal appetites ! On the contra-
ry, how tender was his conscience ! how apt was his heart to
smite him ! how easily and greatly was he alarmed at the appear-
ance of moral evil ! how great and constant was his jealousy over
his own heart! how strict" his care and watchfulness against sin !
how deep and sensible were the wounds that sin made in his con-
science ! Those evils which are generally accounted small, were
almost an insupportable burden to him ; such as his inward defi-
ciencies, his having no more love to God, finding within himself
any slacknes or dulness in religion, any unsteadiness or wander-
ing frame of mind. How did the consideration of such things as
these oppress and abase him, and fill him with inward shame and
confusion ! His love and hope, though they were such as cast out
a servile fear of hell, yet were attended with, and abundantly
cherished and promoted a reverential filial fear of God, a dread
of sin and of God's holy displeasure. His joy seemed truly to be
a rejoicing with trembling. His assurance and comfort differed
greatly from a false enthusiastic confidence and joy, in that it pro-
moted and maintained mourning for sin. Holy mourning, with
him, was not only the work of an hour or a day, at his first con-
version ; but sorrow for sin was like a wound constantly running;
he was a mourner for sin all his days. He did not, after he re-
ceived comfort and full satisfaction of the forgiveness of all his
sins, and the safety of his state, forget his past sins, the sins of his
youth, committed before his conversion ; but the remembrance
of them, from time to time, revived in his heart, with renewed
grief. That passage [Ezek xvi. 63.] was evidently fulfilled in
him, "That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and nev-
er open thy mouth any more, because of thy shame; when I am
pacified toward thee for all that thou hast done." And how last-
ingly did the sins he committed after his conversion affect and
break his heart! If he did any thing whereby he thought he had
in any respect dishonoured God, and wounded the interest of re-
ligion, he had never done with calling it to mind with sorrow and
bitterness; though he was assured that God had forgiven it, yet
he never forgave himself ; his past sorrows and fears made no
satisfaction, with him ; but still the wound renews and bleeds
afresh, again, and again. And his present sins, those he daily
found in himself, were an occasion of daily sensible and deep sor-
row of heart.

His religion did not consist in unaccountable flights and vehe-
ment pangs; suddenly rising, and suddenly falling; at times ex-
alted almost to the third heavens, and then negligent, vain, carnal,
and swallowed up with the world, for days and weeks, if not
months together. His religion was not like a blazing meteor, or

410 MEMOIRS OF BKA1NERD.

like a flaming comet, (or a wandering star, as the apostle Jude callt
it, ver. 13.) flying through the firmament with a bright train, and
then quickly departing into perfect darkness ; but more like the
steady lighis of heaven, constant principles of light, though some-
times hid with clouds. Nor like a land-flood, which flows far and
wide with a rapid stream, bearing down all before it, and then
dries up ; but more like a stream, {ed by living springs ; which
though sometimes increased by showers, and at other times dimin-
ished by drought, yet is a constant stream.

His religious affections and joys were not like those of some,
who have rapture and mighty emotions from time to time in com-
pany; but have very little affection in retirement and secret places.
Though he was of a very sociable temper, and loved the company
of saints, and delighted very much in religious conversation, and
in social worship ; yet his warmest affections, and their greatest
effects on animal nature, and his sweetest joys, were in his closet
devotions, and solitary transactions between God and his own soul:
as is very observable through his whole course, from his conver-
sion to his death. He delighted greatly in sacred retirements ;
and loved to get quite away from all the world, to converse with
God alone, in secret duties.

Brainerd's experiences and comforts were very far from being
like those of some persons, which are attended with a spiritual sa-
tiety, and which put an end to their religious desires and longings,
at least to the edge and ardency of them ; resting satisfied in their
own attainments and comforts, as having obtained their chief end,
which is to extinguish their fears of hell, and give them confi-
dence of the favour of God. On the contrary, they were always
attended with longings and thirsitings after greater degrees of con-
formity to God ! The greater and sweeter his comforts were, the
more vehement were his desires after holiness. His longings
were not so much after joyful discoveries of God's love, and clear
views of his own title to future advancement and eternal honours
in heaven ; as after more of present holiness, greater spirituality,
an heart more engaged for God, to love, and exalt, and depend
on him. He earnestly wished to serve God better, to do more
for his glory, to do all that he did with more of a regard to Christ
as his righteousness and strength, and to behold the enlargement
and advancement of his kingdom on earth. His desires were not
idle wishes, but such as were powerful and effectual, to animate
him to the earnest, eager pursuit of these things, with the utmost
diligence and unfainting labour and self-denial. His comforts nev-
er put an end to his seeking after God, and striving to obtain his
grace; but, on the contrary, greatly engaged him therein.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 441

IV. His religion did not consist in experience without practice.
All his inward illuminations, affections, and comforts, seemed to
have a direct tendency to practice, and to issue in it : and this, not
merely a practice negatively good, free from gross acts of irreli-
gion and immorality ; but a practice positively holy and christian,
m a serious, devout, humble, meek, merciful, charitable, and be-
neficent conversation ; making the service of God and our Lord
Jesus Christ, the great business of life, to which he was devoted,
and which he pursued with the greatest earnestness and diligence
to the end of his days, through all trials. In him was (o be seen
the right way of being lively in religion. His liveliness in religion
did not consist merely, or mainly, in his being lively with the
tongue, but in deed; iiot in being forward in profession and out-
ward shew, and abundant in declaring his own experiences; but
chiefly in being active and abundant in the labours and duties ol
religion ; " not slothful in business, but fervent in spirit, serving
the Lord, and serving his generation, according to the will of God."
By these things, many high pretenders to religion, and pro-
fessors of extraordinary spiritual experience, may be sensible
that Brainerd did greatly condemn their kind of religion ; and
that not only in word, but by example, both living and dying ;
as the whole series of his christian experience and practice,
from his conversion to his death, appears a constant condemnation
of it.

It cannot be objected, that the reason why he so much disliked
the religion of these pretenders, and why his own so much differ-
ed from it, was, that his experiences were not clear. There is
no room to say, they were otherwise, in any respect, in which
clearness of experience has been wont to be insisted on ; whether
it be the clearness of their nature or of their order, and the
method in which his soul first found rest and comfort in his con-
version. I am far from thinking, and so was he, that clearness in
the order of experiences is, in any measure, of equal importance
with the clearness of their nature. I have sufficiently declared in
my discourse on religious affections, which he expressly approved
of and recommended, that T do not suppose, a sensible distinct-
ness of the steps of the Spirit's operation and method of succes-
sive convictions and illuminations, is a necessary requisite to per-
sons being received in foil chaiity, as true saints ; provided the
nature of the things vvhic.h they profess be right, and their prac-
tice correspondent. Nevertheless, it is observable,— a fact which
cuts off all objection from such as would be most uon isonably
disposed to object and cavil in the present c -se, — that Brajnekd's
experiences were not only clear in the latter respect, hot remarka--

44? MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

bly so in the former : so that there is not perhaps one instance in
live hundred true converts, which on this account can be parallel-
ed with him.

It cannot be pretended, that the reason why he so much con-
demned the experiences of those whose first faith consists in be-
lieving that Christ is theirs, and that Christ died for them; without
any previous experience of union of heart to bim, for his excel-
lency, as he is in himself, and not for his supposed love to them —
and who judge of their interest in Christ, their justification,
and God's love to them, not by their sanctification, and the
exercises and fruits of grace, but by a supposed immediate
witness of the Spirit, by inward suggestion — was, that he was of
a too legal spirit, or that he never was dead to the law, never ex-
perienced a thorough work of conviction, was never fully brought
off from his own righteousness, and weaned from the old covenant
by a thorough legal humiliation ; or that afterwards, he had no
great degree of evangelical humiliation, not living in a deep sense
of his own emptiness, wretchedness, poverty, and absolute de-
pendence on the mere grace of God through Christ. His convic-
tions of sin, preceding his first consolations in Christ, were ex-
ceedingly deep and thorough; bis trouble and exercise of mind,
from a sense of sin and misery, very great, and long continued,
and the light let into his mind at his conversion, and in progressive
sanctification, appears to have had its genuine humbling influence
upon him, to have kept him low in his awn eyes, not confiding in
himself, but in Christ, " living by the faith of the Son of God, and
looking for the mercy of the Lord Jesus to eternal life."

Nor can it be pretended, that the reason why he condemned
these, and other things, which this sort of people call the very es-
sence of vital religion, and the power of godliness, was, that he
was a dead Christian, and lived in the dark, as they express them-
selves ; that his experiences, though they might be true, were not
great ; that he did not live near to God ; that he had but a small
acquaintance with him; or that he had but a dim sight of spiritual
things. If any, after they have read the preceding account of
Brainerd's life, will venture to pretend this, they will only shew
that they themselves are in the dark, and do indeed " put darkness
for light, and light for darkness."

It is common with this sort of people, if there are any, whom
they cannot deny to exhibit good evidences of true godliness, who
yet appear to dislike their notions — and condemn those things,
wherein they place the height of religion — to insinuate, that they
are afraid of the cross, and have a mind to secure the favour of the
world, and the like. But this will not be alleged concerning
BlU.iNEB.Dj by any one who has read the preceding account of

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 443

his life. It must be obvious to every one, that lie was an extra-
ordinary, and almost unparalleled instance in these limes, and
these parts of the world, of the contrary disposition ; and that,
whether we consider what he has recorded of his inward experi-
ence, from time to time; or his practice, how he in fact took up
and embraced the cross, and bore it constantly, in his great self-
denials, labours, and sufferings for the name of Jesus, and went
on without fainting, without repining, to his dying illness ; how he
did not only, from time to time, relinquish and renounce the world
secretly in his heart, with the full and fervent consent of all the
powers of his soul ; but openly and actually forsook the world,
with its possessions, delights, and common comforts, to dwell as it
were with wild beasts, in a howling wilderness ; with constant
cheerfulness, complying with the numerous hardships of a life of
toil and travel there, to promote the kingdom of his dear Re-
deemer. Besides, it appears by the preceding history, that he
never did more condemn the things referred to, never had a great-
er sense of their delusion, pernicious nature, and ill tendency,
and never was more full of pity to those who are led away with
them, than in his last illness, and at times when he had the near-
est prospect of death, and supposed himself to be on the very
brink of eternity. Surely he did not condemn those things at
these seasons, only to secure the favour of the world.

V. Beside what has been already related of Brainerd's senti-
ments in his dying state concerning true and false religion, we
have his deliberate and solemn thoughts on this subject in his pre-
face to Mr. Shepard's diary, before mentioned, which, when he
wrote it, he supposed to be, as it proved, one of the last things he
should ever write. I shall here insert a part of that preface, as

follows : — .

" How much stress is laid by many upon some things as being
effects and evidences of exalted degress of religion, when they
are so far from being of any importance in it, that they are real-
ly irreligious, a mixture of self-love, imagination, and spiritual
pride, or perhaps the influence of satan transformed into an an-
2el of light ; I say, how much stress is laid on these things by-
many I shall not'determine: but it is much to be feared, that
while God was carrying on a glorious work of grace, and undoubJ-
edlv gathering a harvest of souls to himself, which we should al-
ways remember with thankfulness, numbers of others have at the
same time been fatally deluded by the devices of the devil, and
their own corrupt hearts. It is to be feared, that the conversions
of some have no better foundation than this ; viz. tha after they
have been under some concern for the.r souls for a while, and it

i -

444 MEMOIRS OF BKA1NEKD.

may be manifested some very great and uncommon distress and
agonies, they have on a sudden imagined that they saw Christ, in
some posture or other, perhaps on the cross, bleeding and dying
for their sins;' or it may be, smiling on them, and thereby signify-
ing his love to them ; and that these and the like things, though
mere imaginations, which have nothing spiritual in them, have in-
stantly removed all their fears and distresses, filled them with
raptures of joy, and made them imagine, that they loved Christ
with all ifteir hearts ; when the bottom of all was nothing but self-
love. For when they imagined that Christ had been so good to
them as to save them, and as it were to single them out of all the
world, they could not but feel some kind of natural gratitude to
him; although they never had any spiritual view of his divine
glory, excellency, and beauty, and consequently never had any
love to him for himself. Others, having had a passage, or per-
haps many passages of scripture, brought to their minds with pow-
er, as they express it, such as that, " Son, be of good cheer, thy
sins are forgiven thee," and the like ; have immediately applied
these passages to themselves, supposing that God hereby manifest-
ed his peculiar favour to them, as if mentioned by name ; never
considering, that they are now giving heed to new revelations,
there being no such thing revealed in the word of God, as that this
or that particular person has, or ever shall have his sins forgiven;
nor yet remembering, that Satan can, with a great deal of seem-
ing pertinency, and perhaps also with considerable power, bring
scripture to the minds of men. as he did to Christ himself. Thus
these persons rejoice in having a passage of scripture suddenly
suggested to them, or impressed upon their minds, supposing
they are now the children of God • just as the others did in their
imaginary views of Christ. Some speak of seeing a great light
which filled all the place where they were, and dispelled all their
darkness, fears, and distresses, and almost ravished their souls. —
While others have had it warmlj suggested to their minds, not
by any passage of scripture, but as it were by a whisper or voice
from heaven, '• That God loves them, that Christ is theirs." &c.
which groundless imaginations and suggestions of Satan have had
the same effect upon them, that the delusions before mentioned
had on the others. As is the conversation of this sort of persons,
so are their after experiences ; the whole being built upon imagi-
nation, strong impressions, and sudden suggestions made to their
minds; whence they are usually extremely confident, as if imme-
diately informed from God, not only of the goodness of their own
state, but of their infallible knowledge, andahsolute certainty, of
the truth of every thing to which they pretend, under the notion

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. il,

of religion ; and thus all reasoning with some of them is utterly
excluded.

" But it is remarkable of these, that they are extremely deficient
in true poverty of spirit, a sense of exceeding vileness in them-
selves, such as frequently makes truly gracious souls to groan, be-
ing burdened ; as also in meekness, love, gentleness towards man-
kind, and tenderness of conscience in their ordinary affairs and
dealings in the world. It is rare to see them deeply concerned
about the principles and ends of their actions, and under fears
lest they should not eye the glory of God chiefly, hut live to them-
selves; or this at least is the case in their ordinary conduct, wheth-
er civil or religious. But if any one of their particular notions.
which their zeal has espoused, be attacked, they are then so con-
scientious, they must burn, if called to it, for its defence. At the
same time while they are so extremely deficient in these precious
divine tempers, which have been mentioned, they are usually full
of zeal, concern, and fervency in the things of religion, and often
discourse of them with much warmth and engagedness : and to
those, who do not know, or do not consider, wherein the essence
of true religion consists — viz. in being conformed to the image of
Christ, not in point of zeal and fervency only, but in all divine
tempers and practices — they often appear like the best of men."

It is common with this sort of people to say, that " God is
among them, that his Spirit accompanies their exhortations, and
other administrations, and that they are sealed by the Holy Ghost
in the remarkable success which they have, in the great affections
which are stirred up in God's people," &lc. and to insinuate on
the contrary, that " he is not with their opponents ;" and particu-
larly, " that God has forsaken the standing ministry ; that the time
is come, when it is the will of God that they should be put down,
and that God's people should forsake them ; and that no more
success is to be expected to attend their administrations.'' But
where can they find an instance, among all their most flaming ex~
horters, who has been sealed with so incontestable and wonderful
success of his labours, as Brainerd, not only in quickening and
comforting God's children, but also in a work of conviction and
conversion, which they own has in a great measure ceased for a
long time among themselves, with a most visible and astonishing
manifestation of God's power? This, too, was on subjects, who
were extremely unprepared, and who had been brought up and
lived, some of them to old age, in the deepest prejudices against
the very first principles of Christianity ; and yet we find the di-
vine power accompanying his labours, producing the most re-
markable and abiding change, turning the wilderness into a fruit-

446 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

ful field, and causing that which was a desart indeed to bud and
blossom as the rose ? And this, although he was not only one of
their greatest opponents in their errors ; but also one of those
whom they call the standing ministry ; first examined and licensed
to preach by such ministers, and sent forth among the Heathen 6y
such ministers ; and afterwards ordained by such ministers ; al-
ways directed by them, and united with them in their consistories,
and administrations ; and even abhorring the practice of those
who give out, that they ought to be renounced, and separated
from, and that teachers may be obtained by laymen.

It cannot be pretended by these men, that Brainerd condem-
ned their religion, merely because he was not acquainted with
them, and had not opportunity for full observation of the nature,
operation, and tendency of their experiences ; for he had abun-
dant and peculiar opportunities of such observation and acquaint-
ance. He lived through the late extraordinary time of religious
commotion, and saw the beginning and end, the good and the bad,
of it. He had opportunity to see the various operations and ef-
fects which were wrought in this season, more extensively than any
person whom I know. His native place was near the centre of Con-
necticut ; and he was much conversant in all parts of that colony.
He was conversant in the eastern parts of it, after the religion which
he condemned began much to prevail there. He was conversant
with the zealous people on Long-Island, from one end of the isl-
and to the other; and also in New-Jersey and Pennsylvania; with
people of various nations. He had special opportunities in some
places in this province, (Massachusetts), where there has been ve-
ry much of this sort of religion, and at a time when it greatly pre-
vailed. He had conversed and disputed with multitudes of this
sort of people in various parts, as he told me ; and had seen some-
what of the same appearances in some of the Indians, to whom he
had preached ; and had opportunity to see the beginning and end
of them. Besides, Braink.rd could speak more feelingly con-
cerning these things, because there was once a time when he was
drawn away into an esteem of them, and for a short season had
united himself to this kind of people, and partook, in some res-
pects, of their spirit and behaviour. But I proceed to another
observation on the foregoing memoirs.

REFLECTION II.

This history of Brainerd, may help us to make distinctions
among the high religious affections and remarkable impression"

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 447

made on the minds of persons, in a time of great awakening, and
revival of religion ; and may convince us, that there are not only
distinctions in theory, invented to save the credit of pretended re-
vivals of religion, and what is called the experience of the opera-
tions of the Spirit ; but distinctions which do actually take place
in the course of events, and have a real and evident foundation iu
fact.

Many do and will confound thing*, hlend altogether, and say,
"It is all alike; it is all of the same sort.'1 So there are many
who say concerning the religion most generally prevailing among
Separatists, and the affections which they manifest. " It is the
same that was all over the land seven years ago." And some who
have read Brainerd's Journal giving an account of the extraor-
dinary things which have come to pass among the Indians in New-
Jersey, say, '4 It is evidently the same thing which appeared in
many places among the English, which has now proved naught,
and come to what is worse than nothing.'' The only reason
which they have thus to determine all to he the same 7vork, and the
same spirit, is, that the one manifested high affections, and so do
the other; that the great affections of the one had some influence
on their bodies, and so have the other; that the one use the terms
conviction, conversion, humiliation, coming to Christ, discoveries,
experiences, &,c. and so do the other ; that the impressions of the
one are attended with a great deal of zeal, and so it is with the
other; that the affections of the one dispose them to speak much
about things of religion, and so do the other; and that the one de-
light much in religious meetings, and so do the other. The
agreement which appears in these, and similar things, makes them
conclude that surely all is alike, all is the same work. Whereas,
on a closer inspection and more critical examination, it would ap-
pear, that notwithstanding an agreement in such circumstances,
yet, indeed, there is a vast difference, both in essence and fruits.
A considerable part of the religious operations that were six or
seven years ago, especially towards the latter part of that extra-
ordinary season, was doubtless of the same sort with the religion
of the Separatists ; but not all : there were many whose experi-
ences were like Brainerd's, in a judgment of charity, genuine
and incontestible.

Not only do the opposers of all religion which consists in pow-
erful operations and aifections, thus confound tiling ; but many
of the pretenders to such religion do the same. They who have
beeu the subjects of some sort of vehement, but vain operations
on their minds, when they hear the experiences of some real and
eminent Christians, related, say, that tfieir experiences are of the

44b MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

same sort; and that they are just like the experiences of eminent
christians in former times, of which we have printed accounts.
So, I doubt not, hut that there are many deluded people, who
reading the preceding account of Brainerd's life, without much
understanding or careful observation, would say without hesita-
tion, that some things which they have met with, are of the very
same kind with what he expresses ; when the agreement is only
in some general circumstances, or some particular things which
are superncial, and belonging as it were to the profession and out-
side of religion; but the inward temper of mind, and the fruits in
practice, are as opposite and distant as east and west.

Many honest, good people also, and true Christians, do not very
well know how to make a difference. The glistering appearance
of false religion dazzles their eyes; and they sometimes are so
deluded by it, that they look on some of these impressions, which
hypocrites tell of, as the brightest experiences. And though they
have experienced no such things themselves, they think, it is be-
cause they are vastly lower in attainments, and but babes in com-
parison of these flaming christians. Yea, sometimes from their
differing so much from those who make so great a show, they
doubt whether they have any grace at all. And it is a hard thing,
to bring many well meaning people to make proper distinctions in
this case; and especially to maintain and stand by them. Through
a certain weakness, under which they unhappily labour, they are
liable to be overcome with the glare of outward appearances.
Thus, if in a sedate hour, they are by reasoning brought to allow
such and such distinctions, yet the next time they come in the
way of the great show of false religion, the dazzling appearance
swallows them up, and they are carried away. Thus the devil by
his cunning artifices, easily dazzles the sight of men, and puts
them beyond a capacity of a proper exercise of consideration,
or hearkening to the dictates of calm thought, and cool under-
standing. V't hen they perceive the great affection, earnest talk,
strong voice, assured looks, vast confidence, and bold assertions,
of these empty, assuming pretenders they are overborne, lose the
possession of their judgment, and say, "Surely these men are in
the right; God is with them of a truth ;" and so they are carried
away, not with light and reason, but, like children, as it were with
a strong wind.

This confounding of all things together, which have a fair
shew, is but acting the part of a child, who going into a shop, where
a variety of wares are exposed to sale — all of a shining appear-
ance ; vessels of gold and silver; diamonds and other precious
stones; toys of little value, which are of some base metal gilt:

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 449

glass polished and painted with some curious colors, or cut like
diamonds, &tc. — should esteem all alike, and give as great a price
for the vile as for the precious. Or it is like the conduct of some
unskilful, rash person, who, finding himself deceived by some of
the wares which he had bought at that shop, should at once con-
clude that all which he there saw was of no value; and pursuant
to such a conclusion, when afterwards he has true gold and dia-
monds offered him, enough to enrich him and enable him to live
like a prince all his days, he should throw it all into the sea.

But we must get into another way. The want of distinguish-
ing in things which appertain to experimental religion, is one of
the chief miseries of the professing world. It is attended with
very many most dismal consequences ; multitudes of souls are
fatally deluded about themselves, and their own state ; and thus
are eternally undone. Hypocrites are confirmed in their delu-
sions, and exceedingly puffed up with pride; many sincere
christians are dreadfully perplexed, darkened, tempted, and drawn
aside from the way of duty ; and sometimes sadly tainted with
false religion, to the great dishonour of Christianity, and hurt of
their own souls. Some of the most dangerous and pernicious
enemies of religion in the world, [though called bright christians]
are encouraged and honoured, who ought to be discountenanced
and shunned by every body ; and prejudices are begotten and
confirmed in vast multitudes, against every thing in which the
power and essence of godliness consists; and in the end, Deism
and Atheism are promoted.

REFLECTION III.

The foregoing account of Brainerd's life may convince us,
that there is indeed such a thing as true experimental religion,
arising from an immediate divine influence, supernaturally en-
lightening and convincing the mind, and powerfully impressing,
quickening, sanctifying, and governing the heart ; which religion
is indeed an amiable thing, of happy tendency, and of no hurtful
consequence to human society ; notwithstanding there having
been so many pretences and appearances of what is called exper-
imental, vital religion, which have proved to be nothing but vain,
pernicious enthusiasm.

If any insist, that Brainerd's religion was mere enthusiasm,
the result of a heated imagination, I would ask, What were the
fruits of his enthusiasm? In him we behold a great degree ot
honesty and simplicity ; sincere and earnest desires and endeav-
ours to know and do whatever is right, and to avoid every thing

150 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

that is wrong ; a high degree of love to God ; delight in the per-
fections of his nature, placing the happiness of life in him, not on-
ly in contemplating him, but in being active in pleasing, and ser-
ving him ; a firm and uudoubting belief in the Messiah, as the
Saviour of the world, the great Prophet of God, and King of the
church, together with great love to him. delight and complacence
in the way of salvation by him, and longing for the enlargement
of his kingdom ; earnest desires that God may be glorified and
the Messiah's kingdom advanced, whatever instruments are em-
ployed ; uncommon resignation to the will of God, and that under
vast trials ; and great and universal benevolence to mankind,
reaching all sorts of persons without distinction, manifested in
sweetness of speech and behaviour, kind treatment, mercy, lib-
erality, and earnest seeking the good of the souls and bodies of
men. All this we behold attended with extraordinary humility,
meekness, forgiveness of injuries, and love to enemies, and a great
abhorrence of a contrary spirit and practice ; not only as appear-
ing in others, but in himself; causing the most bitter repentance,
and brokenness of heart on account of any past instances of such
a conduct. In him we see a modest, discreet, and decent de-
portment, among superiors, inferiors, and equals ; a most diligent
improvement of time ; earnest care to lose no part of it ; and
great watchfulness against all sorts of sin, of heart, speech, and
action. This example and these endeavours we see attended with
most happy fruits, and blessed effects on others, in humanizing,
civilizing, and wonderfully reforming and transforming some of
the most brutish savages ; idle, immoral, drunkards, murderers,
gross idolaters, and wizards ; bringing them to permanent so-
briety, diligence, devotion, honesty, conscientiousness, and char-
ity. The foregoing virtues and successful labours, all end at last
in a marvellous peace, immovable stability, calmness, and resig-
nation, in the sensible approaches of death ; with longing for the
heavenly state ; not only for the honours and circumstantial ad-
vantages of it, but above all, for the moral perfection, and holy
and blessed employments of it. These things are seen in a per-
son indisputably of good understanding and judgment. 1 there-
fore sav, if all these things are the fruits of enthusiasm, why should
not enthusiasm be thought a desirable and excellent thing ? For
what can true religion, what can the best philosophy, do more ?
If vapours and fanaticism will bring men to the most thorough
virtue, to the most benign and fruitful morality; and will main-
tain it through a course of life attended with many trials, without
affectation or self-exaltation, and with an earnest, constant testi-
mony against the wildness, the extravagances, the bitter zeal, as-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 451

suming behaviour, and separating spirit of enthusiasts; and will
do all this more effectually, than any thing else has ever been
done in any plain known instance that can be produced : what
cause then has the world to prize and to pray tor these benign va*
pours, and this blessed fanaticism.

It would perhaps be a prejudice with some against the whole
of Brainerd's religion, if it had begun in the time of the late reli-
gious commotion ; being ready to conclude, however unreasona-
ble, that nothing good could take its rise from those times. But it
was not so ; his conversion was before that event, in a time of
general deadness ; and therefore at a season when it was impossi-
ble, that he should receive a taint from any corrupt notions, ex-
amples, or customs, which originated at that period.

There are many, who are not professed opposers of experimen-
tal religion, who vet doubt its reality from the bad lives of some
professors ; and are ready to determine that there is nothing in re-
generation, self abasement, an£ a cordial acceptance of Christ ; he-
cause many who pretend to these things, and are thought by oth-
ers to have been the subjects of them, manifest no abiding altera-
tion in their moral disposition and behaviour, are as careless, car-
nal, and covetous,,as ever ; yea, some much worse than ever. It
is to be acknowledged and lamented, that this is the case with
some ; but bv the preceding account they must be sensible, that
it is not so with all. There are some indisputable instances of
such a change, as the scripture speaks of; an abiding great
change, a "renovation of the spirit of the mind," and a walking
in newness of life." In the foregoing instance particularly, they
may see the abiding influence of such a work of conversion, as
they have heard of from the word of God ; the fruits of such ex-
periences through a course of years ; under a great variety oj
circumstances, many changes of state, place, and company; and
may see the blessed issue and event of it in life and death.

REFLECTION IV.

The preceding history serves to confirm those doctrines usually
called the doctrines of grace. For if it be allowed thaUhere is
truth, substance, or value in the main of Braineru's religion, it
will undoubtedly follow, that those doctrines are divine ; since it
is evident, that the whole of it from beginning to end, is accor-
ding to that scheme of things ; all built on those apprehensions,
notions and views, whichare produced and established in the mind
by those doctrines. He was brought by doctrines ot this kind to his
awakening, and deep concern about things of a spiritual and eler-

452 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD.

Dal nature ; by these doctrines his convictions were maintained
and carried on ; and his conversion was evidently altogether
agreeable to this scheme, but by no means agreeing with the con-
trary, and utterly inconsistent with the Arminian notion of con-
version or repentance. His conversion was plainly founded in a
clear strong conviction, and undoubting persuasion of the truth
of those things appertaining to these doctrines, against which Ar-
minians most object, and about which his own mind had contend-
ed most. His conversion was no confirming and perfecting of
moral principles and habits, by use and practice, and industrious
discipline, together with the concurring suggestions and conspir-
ing aids of God's Spirit ; but entirely a supernatural work, at
once turning him from darkness to marvellous light, and from the
power of sin to the dominion of divine and holy principles. It
was an effect, in no respect produced by his strength or labour,
or obtained by his virtue ; and not accomplished till he was first
brought to a full conviction, that alfc his own virtue, strength, la-
bours, and endeavours, could never avail any thing towards pro-
ducing or procuring this effect.

A very little while before, his mind was full of the same cavils
against the doctrines of God's sovereign grace, which are made
by Arminians ; and his heart full even of opposition to them.
God was pleased to perform this good work in him, just after a
full end had been put to this cavilling and opposition ; and after
he was entirely convinced, that he was dead in sin, and was in
the hands of God, as the absolutely sovereign, unobliged, sole
disposer and author of true holiness. God's shewing him mercy
at such a time, is a confirmation, that this was a preparation for
mercy; and consequently, that these things which he was con-
vinced of, were true. VVhile he opposed, he was the subject of
no such mercy ; though he so earnestly sought it, and prayed for
it with so much care, and strictness in religion ; but when once
his opposition is fully subdued, and he is brought to submit to the
truths, which he before had opposed, with full conviction, then
the mercy he sought for is granted, with abundant light, great
evidence, and exceeding joy ; and he reaps the sweet fruit of it
all his life after, and in the valley of the shadow of death.

In his conversion, he was brought to see the glory of that way
of salvation by Christ, which is taught in what are called the doc-
trines of grace; and thenceforward, with unspeakable joy and
complacence, to embrace and acquiesce in that way of salvation.
He was, in his conversion, in all respects, brought to those views,
Hiid that state of mind, which these doctrines shew to be neces-
sary. If his conversion was any real conversion, or any thing

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 453

beside a mere whim; and if the religion of his life was any thing
else but the freaks of a bewildered fancy; then this one grand
principle, on which depends the whole difference between Cal-
vinists and Armenians, is undeniable, viz. that the grace or vir-
tue of truly good men, not only differs from the virtue of others
in degree, but even in nature and kind. If ever Brainerd was
truly turned from sin to God at all, or ever became truly reli-
gious ; none can reasonably doubt but that his conversion was at
the time when he supposed it to be. The change which he then
met with, was evidently the greatest moral change that he ever
experienced ; and he was then apparently first brought to that
kind of religion, that remarkable new habit and temper of mind,
which he held all his life after. The narration shews it to be dif-
ferent, in nature and kind, from all of which he was ever the sub-
ject before. It was evidently wrought at once without fitting and
preparing his mind, by gradually convincing it more and more of
the same truths, and bringing it nearer and nearer to such a tem-
per. It was soon after his mind had been remarkably full of
blasphemy, and a vehement exercise of sensible enmity against
God, and great opposition to (hose truths which he was now
brought with his whole soul to embrace, and rest in as divine and
glorious ; truths, in the contemplation and improvement of which,
he placed his happiness. He himself, who was surely best able
to judge, declares, that the dispositions and affections, which
were then given him and thenceforward maintained in him, were
most sensibly and certainly, altogether different in their nature,
from all of which he was ever the subject before, or of which he
ever had any conception. In this he was peremptory, even to
his death. He must be looked upon as capable of judging; he
had opportunity to know ; he had practised a great deal of reli-
gion before, was exceedingly strict and conscientious, and had
continued so for a long time ; and had various religious affec-
tions, with which he often flattered himself, and sometimes pleas-
ed himself as being now in a good estate. After he had those
new experiences, which began in his conversion, they were con-
tinued to the end of his life ; long enough for him thoroughly to
observe their nature, and compare them with what had been be-
fore. Doubtless he was compos mentis ; and was at least one of
so good an understanding and judgment, as to be pretty well capa-
ble of discerning and comparing the things which passed in his
own mind.

It is further observable, that his religion all along operated in
such a manner as tended to confirm his mind in the doctrines of
God's absolute sovereignty, man's universal and entire depen-
dence on God's power and grace. &c. The more his religion pre-

454 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD.

vailed in his heart, and the fuller he was of divine Jove, and of
clear and delightful views of spiritual things, and the more his
heart was engaged in God's service ; the more sensible he was of
the certainty and the excellency and importance of these truths,
and the more he was affected with them, and rejoiced in them.
He declares particularly, that, when he lay for a long while on
the verge of the eternal world, often expecting to be in that
world in a few minutes, yet at the same time enjoying great se-
renity of mind, and clearness of thought, and being most appar-
ently in a peculiar manner at a distance from an enthusiastical
frame ; he " at that time saw clearly the truth of those great doc-
trines of the gospel, which are justly stiled the doctrines of grace,
and never felt himself so capable of demonstrating the truth of
them."

Hence it is very evident, that Brainerd's religion was wholly
correspondent to what is called the Calvinistic scheme, and was
the effect of those doctrines applied to his heart: and certainly
it cannot be denied, that the effect was good, unless we turn
Athiests, or Deists. — I would ask, whether there be any such
thing, in reality, as christian devotion? If there be, what is it?
— What is its nature? — and What its just measure? Should it
not be in a great degree? — We read abundantly in scripture of
•v loving God with all the heart, with all the soul, with all the
mind, and with all the strength ; of delighting in God, of rejoicing
in the Lord, re|oicing with joy unspeakable and full of glory ;
the soul magnifying the Lord, thirsting for God, hungering and
thirsting after righteousness ; the soul breaking for the longing it
hath to God's judgments, praying to God with groanings that can-
not be uttered, mourning for sin with a broken heart and con-
trite spirit,'' Sic. How full is the book of Psalms, and other parts
of scripture, of such things as these! Now wherein do these
things, as expressed by and appearing in Braixerd, either the
things themselves, or their effects and fruits, differ from the
scripture representations 1 To these things he was brought by
that strange and wonderful transformation of the man, which he
called his conversion. Does not this well agree with what is so
often said in the Old Testament and (he New, concerning "giv-
ing a new heart, creating a right spirit, being renewed in the
spirit of the mind, being sanctitied throughout, becoming a new
creature /"' &c. Now where is there to be found an Arminian
conversion or repentance, consisting in so great and admirable a
change ? Can the Arminians produce an instance, within this
ago, and so plainly within our reach and view, of such a refor-
mation, such a transformation of a man to scriptural devotion,
heavenly mindedness, and true christian morality, in one who be-

MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD. 455

fore lived without these things, on the basis of their principles,
and through the influence of their doctrines ?

Here we ought to consider the effect of these doctrines not only
on Brainerd himself, but also on others, whom he taught. It
is abundantly pretended and asserted of late, that these doctrines
tend to undermine the very foundations of all religion and morali-
ty, and to enervate and vacate all reasonable motives to the ex-
ercise and practice of them ; and lay invincible stumbling-blocks
before infidels, to hinder their embracing Christianity ; and that
the contrary doctrines are the fruitful principles of virtue and
goodness, set religion on its right basis, represent it in an amia-
ble light, give its motives their full force, and recommend it to
the reason and common sense of mankind. — But where can they
find an instance of so great and signal an effect of their doctrines,
in bringing infidels, who were at such a distance from all that is
civil, sober, rational, and christian, and so full of inveterate pre-
judices against these things, to such a degree of humanity, civili-
ty, exercise of reason, self-denial, and christian virtue ? Ar-
minians place religion in morality. Let them then bring an in-
stance of their doctrines producing such a transformation of a
people in point of morality. It is strange, if the all-wise God so
orders things in his providence, that reasonable and proper means,
and his own means which he himself has appointed, should in no
known remarkable instance be instrumental to produce so good
an effect : an effect so agreeable to his own word and mind, and
that very effect for which he appointed these excellent means ;
that they should not be so successful, as those means which are
not his own, but very contrary to them, and of a contrary tenden-
cy ; means that are in themselves very absurd, and tend to root
all religion and virtue out of the world, to promote and establish
infidelity, and to lay an insuperable stumbling-block before Pa-
gans, to hinder their embracing the gospel : I say, if this be the
true state of the case, it is certainly wonderful, and an event
worthy of some attention.

I know, that many will be ready to say, " It is too soon yet to
glory in the work, which has been wrought among Brainerd's
Indians ; it is best to wait and see the final event ; it may be, all
will come to nothing by and by." To which I answer, not to in-
sist, that it will not follow, according to Arminian'principles, that
they are not now true christians, really pious and godly, though
they should fa\\ away and come to nothing, that I never supposed,
every one of those Indians, who in profession, renounced then
Heathenism and visibly embraced Christianity, and have had
some appearance of piety, will finally prove true converts. If
two thirds, or indeed one half of them, as great a proportion as

456 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

there is in^ the parable of the (en virgins, should persevere ; it
will be sufficient to shew the work wrought among them to have
been truly adm.rable and glorious. But so much of permanence
ot their religion has already appeared, as shews it to be some-
thing else besides an Indian humour or good mood, or any tran-
sient effect in the conceits, notions, and affections of these igno-
rant people, excited at a particular crisis, by artful management.
It is now more than three years ago, that this work began among
them, and a remarkable change appeared in many of them ; since
which time the number of visible converts has greatly increased ■
and by repeated accounts, from several hands, Ihey still general-
ly persevere in diligent religion and strict virtue. I think, a letter
from a young gentleman, a candidate for the ministry, one of
those before mentioned, appointed by the honourable commis-
sioners in Boston, as missionaries to the Heathen of the Six Na-
tions, worthy of insertion here. He, by their order, dwelt with
Mr. John Bra. nerd among these Christian Indians, in order to
their being prepared for the business of their mission. The letter
was written from thence, to his parents here in Northampton,
and is as follows : — r

Bethel, jYew-Jersey, Jan. 14, 1748.
Honoured and dear Parents,

'After a long and uncomfortable journey, by reason of bad
weather, I arrived at Mr. Braixerd's, the sixth instant : where I
design to stay this winter : and as yet, upon many accounts, am
well satisfied with my coming hither. The state and circum-
stances of the Indians, spiritual and temporal, much exceed what
1 expected. I have endeavoured to acquaint myself with the
state of the Indians in general, with particular persons, and with
the school, as much as the short time 1 have been here would ad-
mit. Notwithstanding my expectations were very much raised,
from Mr David Brainerd-'s Journal, and from particular infor-
mation from him ; yet I must confess, that in many respects, they
are not equal to that which now appears to me to be true, con-
cerning the glorious work of divine grace among the Indians.

1 he evening after I came to town, I had opportunity to see
he Indians together, while the Rev. Mr. Arthur preached to
them : at which time there appeared a very general and uncom-
mon seriousness and solemnity in the con-relation This an
peared tome to be the effect of an inward sense of the importance-
o chyme truths, and not because they were hearing a strange^
which was abundantly confirmed to me the next Sabbath, when
there was the same devout attendance on divine service and

MEMOIRS OF BRAIN ERD. 457

surprising solemnity appearing in the performance of each part of
divine worship. Some, who are hopefully true christians, ap-
pear to have been at that time much enlivened and comforted ;
not from any observable commotions then, but from conversa-
tion afterwards ; and others seemed to be under pressing concern
for their souls. I have endeavoured to acquaint myself with par-
ticular persons ; many of v/hom seem to be very humble and
growing christians ; although some of them, as I am informed,
were before their conversion most monstrously wicked.

" Religious conversation seems to be very pleasing and delight-
ful to many, and especially that which relates to the exercises of
the heart. And many here do not seem to be real christians only,
but growing christians also ; as well in doctrinal, as experimental
knowledge. Beside my conversation with particular persons, I
have had opportunity to attend upon one of Mr. Braixerd's cate-
chetical lectures ; where I was surprised at their readiness in an-
swering questions to which they had not been used ; although
Mr. Braixerd complained much of their uncommon deficiency.
It is surprising to see this people, who not long since were led
captive by Satan at his will, and living in the practice of all man-
ner of abominations, without the least sense even of moral hon-
esty, yet non living soberly and regularly, and not seeking every
man his own, but every man, in some sense, his neighbour's good ;
and to see those, who but a little while past, knew nothing of the
true God, now worshipping him in a solemn and devout manner;
not only in public, but in their families, and in secret; which is
manifestly the case, it being a difficult thing to walk out in the
woods in the morning, without disturbing persons at their secret
devotion. It seems wonderful, that this should be the case, not
only with adult persons, but with children also. It is observable
here, that many children, [if not the children in general] retire in-
to secret places to pray. And, as far as at present, 1 can judge,
this is not the effect of custom and fashion, but of real seriousness
and thoughtfulness about their souls.

"I have frequently gone into the school, and have spent con-
siderable time there amongst the children; and have been sur-
prized to see. not only their diligent attendance upon the business
of the school, but also the proficiency they have made in it, in
reading and writing, and in their catechisms of divers sorts. It
seems to be as pleasing and as natural to these children to have
books in their hands, as it does for many others to be at play. I
have gone into a house where there has been a number of chil-
dren accidentally gathered together; and observed that every one
had his book in his hand, and was diligently studying it. About

453 MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD.

thirty of these children, can answer all the questions in the as-
sembly's catechism; and the greater part of them are able to do
it with the proofs, to the fourth commandment. 1 wish there
were many such schools; I confess, that I never was acquainted
writb such an one, in many respects. Oh that what God has done
here, may prove to be the beginning of a far more glorious and
extensive work of grace among the Heathen !

" 1 am your obedient and dutiful son,

"JOB STRONG.

" P. S. Since the date of this, I have had an opportunity to at-
tend upon another of Mr. Brainf.rd1s catechetical lectures : and
truly I was convinced, that Mr. Brainerd did not complain be-
fore of his people's defects in answering to questions proposed,
without reason; for although their answers at that time exceeded
rny expectations very much; yet their performances at this lec-
ture vejy much exceeded them."

Since this, we have had accounts from time to time, and some
very late, which shew- that religion still continues in prosperous
and most desirable circumstances among these Indians.

REFLECTION V.

Is there not much in the preceding memoirs of Brainerd to
teach, and excite to duty, us who are called to the work of the
ministry and all who are candidates for that great work ? What a
deep sense did he seem to have of the greatness and importance
of that work, and with what weight did it lie on his mind ! How-
sensible was he of his own insufficiency for this work; and how
great was his dependence on God's sufficiency! How solicitous,
that he might be fitted for it ! and to this end. how much time did
he spend in prayer and fasting, as well as reading and meditation ;
giving himself to these things! How did he dedicate his whole
life, all his powers rmd talents to God; and forsake and renounce
the world, with all its pleasing and ensnaring enjoyments, that be
might be wholly at libeity to serve Christ in this work; and to
"please him who had cho?en him to be a soldier, under the cap-
tain of our salvation!'' With what solicitude, solemnity, and dili-
gence, did he devote himself to God our Saviour, and seek his
presence and blessing in secret, at the time of his ordination!
and how did his whole heart appear to be constantly engaued, his
whole time employed, and his whole strength spent in the busi-
ness, he then solemnly undertook and to which be was publicly
set apart ! — His history shews us the right way to success in the work
of the ministry, lie sought it, as a resolute soldier seeks victo-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 459

ry, in a siege or battle ; or as a man who runs a race, seeks a great
pr ze. Animated with love to Christ and the souls of men, how
did he '• labour always fervently," not only in word and doc! fine,
in public and private, hut in prayers day and night, "wrestling
with God" in s cret, and "travailing in birth," with unutterable
groans and agonies, " until Christ were formed" in the hearts of
the people to whom he was sent! How did he thirst for a bles-
sing on his ministry; "watch for souls, as one that must give ac-
count!" How did he "go forth in the strength of the Lord God;"
seeking and depending nn a special influence of the Spirit to as-
sist and succeed him ! What was the happy fruit at last, though
after long waiting, and many dark and discouraging appearances?
Like a true son of Jacob, he per-evered in wrestling, through all
the darkness of the night, until the breaking of the day.

His example of labouring, praying, denying himself, and endur-
ing hardness with unfainting resolution and patience, and his faith-
ful, vigilant, and prudent conduct in many other respects, [which
jt would be too long now particularly to recite,] may afford in-
struction to missionaries in particular.

REFLECTION VI.

The foregoing account of Brainerd's life may afford instruc-
tion to christians in general ; as it shews in many respects, the
right way of practicing religion, in order to obtain the ends, and
receive the benefits of it; or how christians should "run the race
set before them," if they would not ".run in vain, or run as un-
certainly," but would honour God in the world, adorn their pro-
fession, be serviceable to mankind, have the comforts of religion
while they live, be free from disquieting doubts and dark appre-
hensions about the state of their souls, enjoy peace in the ap-
proaches of death, and " finish their course with joy." In gene-
ral, he much recommended, for this purpose, the redemption of
time, great diligence in the business of the christian life, watchful-
ness, &.c. and he very remarkably exemplified these things.

Particularly, his example and success with regard to one duty,
in an especial manner, may be of great use to both ministers and
private christians; I mean the duty of secret fasting. The read-
er has seen, how much Brainero recommends this duty, and
how frequently he exercised himself in it; nor can it well have
escaped observation, how much he was owned and blessed in it,
and of what great benefit it evidently was to his souJ. Among all
the many days he spent in secret fasting and prayer, of which he
gives an account in his diary, there is scarcely an instance of

160 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

one which was not either attended or soon followed with apparent
success, and a remarkable blessing, in special influences and con-
solations of God's Spirit; and very often, before the day was
ended. But it must be observed, that when he set about this du-
ty, he did it in good earnest; <; stirring up himself to take hold of
God," and " continuing instant in prayer," with much of the spir-
it of Jacob, who said to the angel, " 1 will not let thee go, except
thou bless me."

REFLECTION VII.

There is much in the preceding account to excite and encourage
God's people to earnest prayers and endeavours for the advance-
ment and enlargement of the kingdom of Ch?'ist in the world.
Brainerd set us an excellent example in this respect. He
sought the prosperity of Zion with all his might ; and prefer-
red Jerusalem above his chief joy. How did his soul long for it,
and pant after it! how earnestly and often did he wrestle with
God for it ! and how far did he, in these desires and prayers,
seem to be carried beyond all private and selfish views! being
animated by a pure love to Christ, an earnest desire of his glory,
and a disinterested affection to the souls of mankind.

The consideration of this, not only ought to be an incitement to
the people of God, but may also be a just encouragement to them,
to be much in seeking and praying for a general outpouring of the
Spirit of God, and an extensive revival of religion. I confess,
that God's giving so much of a spirit of prayer for this mercy te
so eminent a servant of his, and exciting him, in so extraordinary
a manner, and with such vehement thirs!ings of soul, to agonize in
prayer for it, from time to time, through the course of his life, is
one thing among other?, which gives me great hope, that God has
a design of accomplishing something very glorious for the interest
of his church before Jong. One such instance as this, I con-
ceive, gives more encouragement, than the common, cold, formal
prayers of thousands. As Brainerd's desires and prayers for
the coming of Christ's kingdom, were very special and extraor-
dinary; so, I think we may reasonably hope, that the God who
excited those desires and prayers, will answer them with some-
thing special and extraordinary. And in a particular manner do
I think it worthy of notice for our encouragement, that he had his
heart, [as he declared,] unusually drawn out in longings and pray-
ers for the flourishing of Christ's kingdom on earth, when he was
in the approaches of death ; and that with his dying breath he
breathed out his departing soul into the bosom of his Redeemer,

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 461

in prayers and pantings after the glorious event ; expiring irt
very great hope, that it would soon begin to be fulfilled. I wish
that the thoughts which he in his dying state expressed of that
explicit agreement, and visible union of God's people, in extraor-
dinary prayer for a general revival of religion, lately proposed in
a memorial to Scotland, which has been dispersed among us, may
be well considered by those who hitherto have not seen lit to fall
in with that proposal. — But I forbear to say any more on this
head, having already largely published my thoughts upon it, in a
discourse written on purpose to promote that affair; with which,
I confess, 1 wish that every one of my readers might be supplied ;
not that my honour, but that this excellent design might be pro-
moted.

As there is much in Brainerd's life to encourage christians to
seek the advancement of Christ's kingdom, in general ; so there
is, in particular, to pray for the conversion of the Indians on this
continent, and to exert themselves in the use of proper means for
its accomplishment. It appears, that he, in his unutterable long-
ings and wrestlings of soul for the flourishing of religion, had his
mind peculiarly intent on the conversion and salvation of these
people; and his heart more especially engaged in prayer for
them. If we consider the degree and manner in which he, from
time to time, sought and hoped for an extensive work of grace
among them, I think, we have reason to hope, that the wonderful
things, which God wrought among them by him, are but a forerun-
ner of somethingyet much more glorious and extensive ofthatkind.
This may justly be an encouragement, to well-disposed charitable
persons, to " honour the Lord with their substance," by contribut-
ing, as they are able, to promote the spreading of the gospel
among them. This also may incite and encourage gentlemen,
who are incorporated and intrusted with the care and disposal of
those liberal benefactions, which have already been made by
pious persons to that end ; and likewise the missionaries them-
selves, that are or may be employed ; and it may be of direction
unto both, as to the proper qualifications of missionaries, and the
proper measures to be taken in order to their success.

One thing I would particularly propose to the consideration of
such as have the care of providing and sending missionaries among
savages ; viz. Whether it would not ordinarily be best to send
two together ? It is pretty manifest, that Brainerd's going, as he
did, alone into the howling wilderness, was one great occasion of
a prevailing melancholy on his mind ; which was his greatest dis-
advantage. He spoke much of it himself, when he was here in
his dying state ; and expressed himself, to this purpose, that none
could conceive of the disadvantage a missionary in such circum-

462 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

stances was under, by being alone ; especially as it exposed him
to discouragement and melancholy. He spoke of the wisdom of
Christ in sending forth his disciples bv two and two ; and left it
as his dying advice to his brother, never to go to Susquehannah, to
travel about in that remote wilderness, to preach to the Indians
there, as he had often done, without the company of a fellow mis-
sionary.

REFLECTION VIII.

One thing more may not be unprofitably observed in the pre-
ceding account of Brainerd ; and that is, the special and remark-
able disposal of divine providence, with regard to the circumstan-
ces of his last sickness and de ith.

Though he had been long infirm, his constitution being much
broken by hi? fatigues and hardships ; and though he was often
brought very low by illness before he left Kaunaumeek, and also
while he lived at the Forks of Delaware ; yet his life was pre-
served, till he had seen that which he had so long and greatly de-
sired and sought, a glorious work of grace among the Indians, and
had received the wished for blessing of God on his labours.
Though as it were "in deaths oft," yet he lived to behold the
happy fruits of the long continued travail of his soul and labour
of his body, in the wonderful conversion of many of the heathen,
and the happy effects of it in the great change of their conversa-
tion, with many circumstances which afforded a fair prospect of
the continuance of God's blessing upon them ; as may appear by
what I shall presently further observe. — Thus he did not " depart
till his eyes had seen God's salvation."

Though it was the pleasure of God, that he should be tak^n off
from his labours among that people to whom God had made him a
spiritual father, who were so dear to him, and for whose spiritual
welfare he was so greatly concerned ; yet this was not before
they were well initiated and instructed in the Christian religion,
thoroughly weaned from their old heathenish and brutish notions
and practices, and all their prejudices and jealousies, which tend-
ed to keep their minds unsettled, were fully removed. They
were confirmed and fixed in the christian faith and manners ;
were formed into a church ; had ecclesiastical ordinances and dis-
cipline introduced and settled ; were brought into a good way
with respect to the education of children ; had a schoolmaster
excellently qualified for the business ; and had a school set up
and established, in good order, among them. They had been
well brought off from their former idle, strolling, sottish way of
living ; had removed from their former scattered uncertain habi-

MEMOIRS OF BRAlNERf). 4o3

tations, Were collected in a town by themselves, on a good piece of
land of their own ; were introduced into the way of living by
husbandry ; and had begun to experience the benefits of it.
These things were but just brought to pass by his indefatigable
application and care 5 and then he was taken off from his work
by illness. If this had been but a little sooner, the} would by no
means have been so well prepared for such a dispensation ; and
it probably would have been unspeakably more to the hurt of
their spiritual interest, and of thecause of Christianity among them.

The time and circumstances of his illness were so ordered,
that he had just opportunity to finish his Journal, and prepare it
for the press ; giving an account of the marvellous display of di^
vine power and grace among the Indians in New-Jtr.sey, and at
the Forks of Delaware. His doing this was of great consequence
and therefore urged upon him by the correspondents, who have
honoured his Journal with a preface. The world being particu-
larly and justly informed of that affair by Brainerd, before his
death, a foundation was hereby laid for a concern in others for
that cause, and proper care and measures to be taken for main-
taining it after his death. It has actually proved to be of great in-
fluence and benefit in this respect ; for it has excited and enga-
ged many in those parts, and also more distant parts of America,
to exert themselves for upholding and promoting the good and
glorious work, remarkably opening their hearts and hands to that
end : and not only in America, but in Great Britain, that Journal,
which I have earnestly recommended to my readers, has been ;m
occasion of some large benefactions, made for promoting the in-
terest of Christianity among the Indians. — If Brainerd had been
taken ill but a little sooner, he had not been able to complete his
Journal, and prepare a copy for the press.

He was not taken off from the work of the ministry among his
people, till his brother was in a capacity and circumstances to
succeed him in his care of them ; who succeeds him in the like
spirit, and under whose prudent and faithful care his congrega-
tion has flourished, and been very happy, since he left them :
and probably could not have been so well provided for otherwise.
If Brainero had been disabled sooner, his brother would by no
jneanshave been ready to stand up in his place ; having taken his
first degree at college but about that very time that he was seized
with his fatal consumption.

Though in that winter in which he lay sick at MY. Dickinson's.
in Elizabeth-Town, he continued for a long time in ai: extremely
low state, so that his life was almost despaired o(, and his state
was sometimes such that it was hardly expected that he would
live a day ; yet his life was spared a while longer; he lived (0

464 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

see his brother arrived in New-Jersev. being come to succeed him
in the care of his Indians ; and he himself had opportunity to as-
sist in his examination and introduction into his business ; and to
commit the conduct of his dear people to one whom he well
knew, and could put confidence in. and use freedom with, in giv-
ing him particular instructions and charges, and under whose
care he could leave his congregation with great cheerfulness.

The providence of God was remarkable in so ordering it, that
before his death he should take a journey in New-England, and
go to Boston : which was, in many respects, of very great and
happy consequence to the interest of religion, and especially
among his own people. By this means, as before observed, he
was brought in acquaintance with many persons of note and influ-
ence, ministers and others, belonging both to the town and van-
ous parts of the country ; and had opportunity, under the best
advantages, to bear a testimony for God and true religion, and
against those false appearances of it which have proved most
pernicious to the interest of Christ's kingdom in the land. The
providence of God is particularly observable in this circumstance
of the testimony which he there bore for true religion, viz. that
he there was brought so near the grave, and continued for so
long a time on the very brink of eternity ; and from time to
time, looked on himself, and was looked on by others, as just
leaving the world ; and that in these circumstances he should be
so particularly directed and assisted in his thoughts and views of
religion, to distinguish between the true and the false," with such
clearness and evidence ; and that after this he should be unex-
pectedly and surprisingly restored and strengthened, so far as to
he able to converse freely. Then he had an opportunity, and
special occasions to declare the sentiments he had in these, which
to human apprehension, were his dying circumstances ; and to
bear his testimony concerning the nature of true religion, and
concerning the mischievous tendency of its most prevalent coun-
terfeits and false appearances ; as things he had a special, clear,
distinct view of at that time, when he expected in a few minutes
to be in eternity; and the certainty and importance of which were
then, in a peculiar manner, impressed on his mind.

Among the happy consequences of his going to Boston, were
those liberal benefactions that have been mentioned, which were
made by piously disposed persons,, for maintaining and promoting
♦he interest of religion among his people ; and also the meeting
of a number of gentlemen in Boston, of note and ability, to con-
sult upon measures for that purpose ; who were excited by their
acquaintance and conversation with Braixerd, and by the account

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 46b

of the great things which God had wrought by his ministry, to
unite themselves, that by their joint endeavours and contributions
they might promote the kingdom of Christ, and the spiritual good
of their fellow-creatures, among the Indians in New-Jersey ; and
elsewhere.

It was also remarkable, that Bhainerd should go to Boston at
that time, after the honourable commissioners there, of the corpo-
ration in London for propagating the gospel in New-England and
parts adjacent, had received Dr. Williams' legacy for maintaining
two missionaries among the Heathen ; and at a time when they,
having concluded on a mission to the Indians of the Six Nations,
were looking out for fit persons to be employed in that important
service. This was the occasion of their committing to him the
affair of finding and recommending suitable persons : which has
proved a successful means of two persons being found and actual-
ly appointed to that business, who seem to be well qualified for
it, and to have their hearts greatly engaged in it. One of them
has been solemnly ordained to that work in Boston, and is now
gone forth to one of those tribes, who have appeared well dis-
posed to receive him ; it being judged not convenient for the
other to go till the next spring, by reason of his bodily infirmity.*

These happy consequences of Brainerd's journey to Boston
would have been prevented, in case he had died when he was
brought so near to death in New-Jersey. Or, if after he came to
Northampton, (where he was much at a loss, and long delibera-
ting, which way to bend his course,) he had determined not to go
to Boston.

The providence of God was observable in his going to Boston
at a time when not only the honourable commissioners were seek-
ing missionaries to the Six Nations, but also just after his Journal,
which gives an account of his labours and success among the In-
dians, had been received and spread in Boston. His name was
thus known, and the minds of serious people were well prepared
to receive his person, and the testimony he there gave for God ;
to exert themselves for the upholding and promoting the interest
of religion in his congregation, and among the Indians elsewhere ;
and to regard his judgment concerning the qualifications of mis-
sionaries. If he had gone there the fall before, (when he had in-
tended to make his journey into New-England, but was pre-

* The appointment of these gentlemen to this mission has been hitherto much
smiled on by providence ; as in other respects, so particularly in wonderfully open-
ing the hearts of many to contribute liberally to so excellent a design. Besides the
benefactions in Boston, a number of persons at Northampton with much cheerful-
ness have given about 1601. (old tenor) ; and a particular person in Springfield ha*
devoted a considerable part of his estate to this interest.

466 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

vented by a sudden great increase of his illness;) or if he had
not been unexpectedly detained in Boston ; (for when he went
from my house, he intended to make but a very short stay there,)
it would not probably have been in any measure to so good effect;
but divine providence, by his being brought so low there, detained
him long ; thereby to make way for the fulfilling his own gracious
designs.

The providence of God was remarkable in so ordering, that al-
though he was brought so very near the grave in Boston, that it
was not in the least expected he would ever come alive out of his
chamber ; yet he was wonderfully revived, and preserved several
months longer ; so that he had opportunity to see, and fully to
converse with both his younger brothers before he died. This he
greatly desired ; especially to see his brother John, with whom
was left the care of his congregation ; that he might by him be
fully informed of their state, and leave with him such instructions
and directions as were requisite in order to their spiritual welfare,
and send to them his dying charges and counsels. He had also
opportunity, by means of this suspension of his death, to find and
recommend two persons fit to be employed as missionaries to the
Six Nations, as had been desired of him.

Thus, although it was the pleasure of a sovereign God, that he
should be taken away from his congregation, the people whom he
had begotten through the gospel, who were so dear to him ; yet it
was granted him, that before he died he should see them well pro-
vided for, every way. He saw them provided for, with one to
instruct them, and to take care of their souls ; his own brother
in whom he could confide. He saw a good foundation laid for
the support of the school among them ; those things, which
before were wanting in order to it, being supplied. He had the
prospect of a charitable society being established, of able and
well-disposed persons, who seem to make the spiritual interest of
his congregation their own ; whereby he had a comfortable view
of their being well provided for, for the future. He had also op-
portunity to leave all his dying charges with his successor in the
pasioral care of his people, and by him to send his dying counsels
to them. Thus God granted him to see all things happily settled,
or in a hopeful way of being so, before his death, with respect to
his dear people. — And whereas not only his own congregation,
but the souls of the Indians in North-America in general, were
very dear to him, and he had greatly set his heart on propagating
and extending the kingdom of Christ among them ; God was
pleased to grant him — though not to be the immediate instrument
of their instruction and conversion — yet, that before his death, he
should see unexpected extraordinary provisions made for this also.

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 467

It is remarkable, that God not only allowed him to see such pro-
vision made for maintaining the interest of religion among his own
people, and the propagation of it elsewhere ; but honoured him by
making him the means or occasion of it. So that it is very proba-
ble, although Brainerd during the last four months of his life,
was ordinarily in an extremely weak and low state, very often
scarcely able to speak; yet that he was made the instrument or
means of much more good in that space of time, than he would
have been if well, and in full strength of body. Thus God's power
was manifested in his weakness, and the life of Christ was mani-
fested in his mortal flesh.

Another thing, wherein appears the merciful disposal of provi-
dence with respect to his death, was, that he did not die in the
wilderness, among the savages, at Kaunaumeek, or the Forks of
Delaware, or on the Susquehannah ; but in a place where his dy-
ing behaviour and speeches might be observed and remembered,
and some account given of them for the benefit of survivors ; and
where care might be taken of him in his sickness, and proper
honours done him at his death.

The providence of God is also worthy of remark, in so over-
ruling and ordering the matter, that he did not finally leave abso-
lute orders for the entire suppressing of his private papers ; as he
had intended and fully resolved, insomuch that all the importu-
nity of his friends could scarce restrain him from doing it, when
sick at Boston. One thing relating to this is peculiarly remarka-
ble, that his brother, a little before his death, should come un-
expectedly from New-Jersey; and bring his Diary to him, though
he had received no such order. Thus he had opportunity of ac-
cess to these his reserved papers, and of reviewing the same ;
without which, it appears, he would at last have ordered them
to be wholly suppressed ; but after this, he the more readily
yielded to the desires of his friends, and was willing to leave them
in their hands to be disposed of as they thought might be most for
God's glory. By this means, " he, being dead, yet speaketh,"
in these memoirs of his life, taken from those private writings;
whereby it is to be hoped that he may still be as it were the in-
strument of promoting the interest of religion in this world ; the
advancement of which he so much desired, and hoped would be
accomplished after his death,

If these circumstances of Brainerd's death be duly consider-
ed, I doubt not but they wifl be acknowledged as a notable in-
stance of God's fatherly care, and covenant-faithfulness towards
them who are devoted to him, and faithfully serve him while they
live ; whereby " he never fails nor forsakes them, but is zoilh
them living and dying : so that whether they live, they live to the

4b8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD.

Lord ; or whether they die, they die to the Lord •," and both in
life and death thej are owned and taken care of as his. — Brain-
erd himself, as was before observed, was much in taking notice,
when near his end, of the merciful circumstauces of his death ;
and said, from time to time, that " God had granted him all his
desire."

I would not conclude my observations on the merciful circum-
stances of Brainerd's death, without acknowledging with thank-
fulness, the gracious dispensation of providence to me and my
family, in so ordering, that he, though the ordinary place of his
abode was more than two hundred miles distant, should be
brought to my house, in his last sickness, and should die here.
Thus we had opportunity for much acquaintance and conversa-
tion with him, to shew him kindness in such circumstances, to see
his dying behaviour, to hear his dying speeches, to receive his dy-
ing counsels, and to have the benefit of his dying prayers. May
God in infinite mercy grant, that we may ever retain a proper
remembrance of these things, and make a due improvement of
the advantages we have had, in these respects ! The Lord grant
also, that the foregoing account of Braixerd's life and death
may be for the great spiritual benefit of all who shall read it, and
prove a happy means of promoting the revival of true reli-
gion ! Amen.

NOTE.

The reader will not be uninterested in the following letter*
from Mr. John Brainerd, giving an account of the Indians, after
his brother's death.

The first is an Extract from a Letter to his friend in England,
dated,

t; Bethel, Oct. 4th, 1752.

•■ I have now been employed as a Missionary among these In-
dians for above four years and a half, beside officiating for my
brother several monthsduringhislastsickness. In this spaceof time
the number has considerably increased; though, for more than
two years after I came, we were visited with much sickness and
great mortality. We have now near forty families belonging to
our society ; and our church consists of thirty-seven communi-
cants, beside two or three more, who stand as candidates for ad-

MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 469

mission. Our school has sometimes consisted of above fifty chil-
dren ; but the number at present is not altogether so great. I
have spent the mostof my time, since I have been employed as a
Missionary, among this people ; but have not wholly confined
myself to them. I have taken several journies out among the
more remote Indians and some to those at a great distance. By
this means, with the blessing of God on my labours, I have per-
suaded numbers to come from distant places and settle here,
where they and their children have the advantages of instruction,
which I trust have been blest to the saving conversion of some.
May the Lord daily increase their number !

We have a very considerable number of serious regular chris-
tians, who are an ornament to religion ; although some, who
make a profession, have grievously backslidden. The Lord has
preserved and continued a christian congregation together, al-
though many attempts have been made by Satao and his instru-
ments to disperse and destroy it."

After mentioning the obstacles, which hinder the conversion
of the Indians to Christianity, such as — Their love to strong drink
— Their iudolent, wandering, unsteady disposition — The wicked-
ness of some white people, who prejudice them against the Mis-
sionaries— The temptations which the whites throw in their way :
some of them buying drink, and giving it gratuitously, to see if
they cannot make the Christian Indians drunk — And the want of
a more liberal support to the Missionaries for carrying them
through difficult journies, and taking christian Indians along with
them — He proceeds :

" I hope and trust, as this work of grace among the Indians
comes to be more generally known and spread abroad, there will
be a greater plenty of provision for the prevention of the same j
and may the Lord hasten the blissful time ! —

" Upon the whole, though I am feelingly sensible of many dif-
ficulties and discouragements in christianizing the Indians; yet 1
cannot but think that there has been and still is as much encour-
agement as could rationally have been expected, before any at-
tempts of this kind were made, and that which is sufficient for us
still to act upon, and to make farther attempts of this nature.
There is ground to hope that within these seven years last past
there have been at least forty persons savingly converted to God
even in this small place ; which at most does not contain above
two hundred souls, old and young of all sort-; and were there a-
ny sufficiently zealous to go to the more remote places where
there are greater numbers of these miserable savages ; who ca»

470 MEMOIRS OF BRA1NERD.

tell what the Lord would do. What a glorious prospect might
soon open ?

" The quarterly days of prayer for the prosperity of Zion are
observed by some in these parts, and have been very constantly
attended in my congregation; and some of my people have ap-
peared very affectionate and warmly engaged at such times. May
the Lord hear and and answer the supplications of his people, and
cause his church to arise and flourish and become a praise in the
whole earth. I would desire a remembrance in your addresses to
the throne of grace forme, for my people, and for the cause of
God among the Indians. If you should have leisure, and think it
worthwhile to write, please to direct for me at Bethel, in New-
Jersey, to the care of Mr. William Grant, merchant, in Second
street, Philadelphia ; or to the care of Mr. Denys De Berdt,
merchant, in Artillery court, Chiswal-street, London.
" I am, &zc.

"JOHN BRAINERD."

The second was to the Praeses of the Society in Scotland, dated

"Bethel, Oct. 22, 1753.

" Since my last to your Lordship, which bears date March 2,
1753, I have steadily attended to the business of the Mission,
and have not been absent from my charge except on some ne-
cessary occasions, and then only for a short space. I have en-
deavoured to attend strictly to my commissions and instructions;
preaching the gospel ; administering the sacraments ; catechis-
ing both the grown people and the children ; visiting my people:
praying and conversing with the sick ; attending funerals ; and
watching all opportunities to do them good. — I have constantly
attended public worship three times on the Lord's day ; steadily
once, and sometimes more, in the rest of the week. Besides I
have advised the people, especially of late, to meet, at least one
evening in a week at a private house, which they do in the seve-
ral parts of their town ; sometimes at one house and sometimes
at another. This meeting I have generally attended ; and carry
it on by prayer, singing of psalms or hymns and religious conver-
sation. At these meetings I address myself to particular persons ;
inquire into the state of their souls; warn, exhort, encourage,
&ic. as I see occasion. When I am absent, the meeting is car-
ried on by religious conversation, together with prayer and sing-
ing. My endeavours, through the blessing of heaven, have been,
I hope attended with some degree of success. I have had the
satisfaction of admitting one adult person to baptism, who I trust

flIEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 471

is a true convert to God, and savingly acquainted with Jesus
Christ ; and sundry children have been the subjects of that di-
vine ordinance. I can also inform your Lordship and the Socie-
ty that many of our former converts adorn their profession by a
sober virtuous life. But some, I must needs say, have grievous-
ly backslidden ; which has been matter of unspeakable grief to
me, and done more to exhaust my spirits and wear me out, than
all the bodily fatigues I have ever undergone in the prosecution
of this mission."

Afterwards he writes of great difficulties, which the Indians
have laboured under of late with regard to their lands ; — and of
the lamented death of a promising young Indian, whom the So-
ciety was educating for the ministry ; of whom he says :

" He had been a member of Princeton College nearly two
years ; was much beloved by his classmates and the other scho-
lars, and made a decent, handsome appearance among them. He
died of a quick consumption. I had opportunity of conversing
with him in the latter part of his sickness ; and though he was
under some darkness, yet his discourse was good, and discovered
much of the Christian.
" I am, &c.

" JOHN BRAINERD.''

Christians, when absent from the body, are present with the Lord

'9
PREACHED AT THE FUNERAL OF THE

REV. DAVID BRAINERD,

MISSIONARY TO THE WDIAJTS,

FROM THE SOCIETY IN SCOTLAND FOR PROPAGATING CHRISTIAN KNOWLEDGE.
AND PASTOR OF A CHURCH OF CHRISTIAN INDIANS IN NEW-
JERSEY ; WHO DIED AT NORTHAMPTON, OCT. 9,
1747, AND WAS INTERRED ON THE 12th.

By Rev. JONATXIAN EDWARDS

A SERMON.

CHRISTIANS, WHEN ABSENT FROM THE EODY ARE PRESENT WITH THE LORD.

II COR. V. 8.

We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body,
and to be present with the Lord.

THE Apostle is here giving a reason why he went on with such
immoveable boldness and stedfastness, through such labours, suf-
ferings, and dangers, in the service of the Lord ; for which his
enemies, the false teachers among the Corinthians, sometimes re-
proached him as being beside himself, and driven on by a kind of
madness. In the latter part of the preceding chapter, he informs
the christian Corinthians, that the reason why he did thus, was,
that he firmly believed the promises which Christ had made to his
faithful servants of a glorious and eternal reward ; and knew that
these present afflictions were light, and but for a moment, in com-
parison of that far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.—
In this chapter he further insists on the reason of his constancy in
suffering, and exposing himself to death in the work of the minis-
try, even the more happy state which he expected after death. —
This is the subject of the Text ; in which we may observe,

1. The great future Privilege, for which the Apostle hoped;
that'of being present with Christ. The words in the original prop-
erly signify dwelling with Christ, as in the same country or city, or
making an home with Christ.

2. When the Apostle looked for this privilege ; viz. when he
should be absent from the body : not to wait for it till the Resur-
rection, when soul and body should be united agam. He signi-
fies the same thing in Phil. i. 22, 23, "But if I live in the flesh,
this is the fruit of my labour. Yet what I shall choose, I wot not
For I am in a strait between two; having a desire to depart, and

to be with Christ." , f

3. The Value which he set on this privilege, i or the sake ot
it, he chose to be absent from the body. It was more pleasing to

476 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERDS FUNERAL.

him, to part with the present life and all its enjoyments, if he might
be possessed of this great benefit, than to continue here.

4. The Present Benefit, which he had by his faith and hope of
this future privilege, and of his great value fork; viz. that hence
he received courage, assurance, and constancy of mind ; agreea-
bly to the proper import of the word which is rendered, ice art
confident. He is now giving a reason of that fortitude and im-
moveable stability of mind, with which he went through those
extreme labours, hardships, and dangers, which he mentions in
this course; so that, in the midst of all, he did not faint, was not
discouraged, but had constant light, and inward support, strength,
and comfort in the midst of all : agreeably to the tenth verse of
the foregoing chapter, " For which cau?e, we faint not ; but
though " o"ur:outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed
day by day." The same is expressed more particularly in the
eighth, ninth, and tenth verses of that chapter. " We are troubled
on every side, yet not distressed ; we are perplexed, but not in
despair 5 persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not de-
stroyed ; always bearing about in the body, the dying of the Lord
Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our
mortal flesh." And in the next chap. ver. 4 — 10, "In all things,
approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in
afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, in stripes, in imprisonments,
in tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings, by pureness, by
knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by
love unfeigned, by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the
armour of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, by hon-
our and dishonour, by evil report and good report : as deceivers,
and yet true ; as unknown, and yet well known ; as dying, and
behold, we live ; as chastened, and not killed ; as sorrowful, yet
alway rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having noth-
ing, and yet possessing all things."

Among the many useful instructions, which might be derived
fiom the text, I shall at this time only insist on this : —

The souls of christians, when they leave the body, go to be with
Christ.

They do this in the following respects : —

f. They go to dwell in the same blessed Abode with the glorified
Human nature of Christ.

The Human nature of Christ is yet in being. He still contin-
ues, and will continue to all eternity, to be both God and man. —
His whole human nature remains: not only his soul, but also his

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERDS FUNERAL. 477

body. His body rose from the dead ; and the same that was rais-
ed from the dead, is exalted and glorified at God's right hand. —
That which was dead is now alive, and lives for evermore.

There is therefore a certain place, a particular part of the exter-
nal creation, to which Christ is gone, and where he remains. —
This place is the heaven of heavens: a place beyond all the visi-
ble heavens. Eph. iv. 9. 10 " Now that he ascended, what is it,
but that he also descended first into the lower parts of the earth?
He that descended, is the same also that ascended up far above
all heavens." This is the same which the Apostle calls the third
heaven, 2 Cor. xii. 2; reckoning the aerial heaven as the first,
the starry heaven as the second, and the highest heaven as the
third. This is the abode of the holy angels; they are called " the
angels of heaven," Matth xxiv. 36. " The angels' which are in
heaven," Mark xiii. 32.s " The angels of God in heaven," Matth.
xxii. 30. and Mark xii. 25. They are said " always to behold the
face of the Father which is in heaven," Matth. xviii. 10. They
are elsewhere often represented as before the throne of God, or
surrounding his throne in heaven, and sent from thence, and de-
scending from thence, on messages to this world. Thither it is
that the souls of departed saints are conducted, when they die. —
They are not reserved in an abode distinct from the highest
heaven ; a place of rest, which they are kept in, till the day of
judgment ; which some call the Hades of the happy : but they go
directly to heaven itself. This is the saints' home, being then-
Father's house. They are " pilgrims and strangers" on the
earth, and this is the " other and better country" to which they
are travelling. Heb. xi. 13 — 16. This is the city to which they
belong. Philip, hi. 20. " Our conversation, or (as the word prop-
erly signifies) citizenship, is in heaven." Therefore this undoubt-
edly is the place to which the Apostle refers in the text, when he
says, " We are willing to forsake our former house, the body, and
to dwell in the same house, city or country, wherein Christ
dwells; which is the proper import of the words of the original. —
What can this house, or city, or country be, but that house, which
is elsewhere spoken of, as their proper home, their Father's
house, the city and country to which they properly belong, whith-
er they are travelling all the while they continue in this world, and
the house, city, and country where we know the human nature of
Christ is ; this is the saints' rest; here their hearts are while they
live; and here their treasure is: "The inheritance incorruptible,
undefiled, and that fadeth not away, that is designed for them, is
reserved in heaven;" 1 Pet. i. 4. Therefore they never can
have their proper and full rest till they come there. So that ub-

478 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.

doubtedly their souls, when absent from the body, (when the scrip-
tures represent them as in a state of perfect rest) arrive there. —
Those two saints, who left this world, to go to their rest in anoth-
er world, without dying, viz. Enoch and Elijah, went to heaven. —
Elijah was seen ascending up to heaven, as Christ was ; and to the
same resting place, is there all reason to think, to which those
saints go, who leave the world, to go to their rest, by death. Mo-
ses, when he died in the top of the mount, ascended to the same
glorious abode with Elias, who ascended without dying. They
are companions in another world ; as they appeared together at
Christ's transfiguration. They were together at that time, with
Christ in the mount, when there was a representation of his glory in
heaven. Doubtless, also, they were together afterwards, with
him, when he was actually glorified in heaven. Thither undoubt-
edly it was, that the soul of Stephen ascended, when he expired.
The circumstances of his death demonstrate it, as we have an ac-
count of it, Acts vii. 55. &c. " He being full of the Holy Ghost,
looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and
Jesus standing on the right hand of God, and said, behold, I see
the heavens opened, and the Son of man, (i.e. Jesus in his human
nature), standing on the right hand of God. Then they cried out
with aloud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with
one accord, and cast him out of the city, and stoned him. — And
they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, Lord Jesus,
receive my spirit." Before his death he had an extraordinary
view of the glory which his Saviour had received in heaven, not
only for himself, but for him, and all his faithful followers ; that
he might be. encouraged, by the hopes of this glory, cheerfully to
lay down his life for his sake. Accordingly, he dies in the hope
of this, saying, " Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." By which doubt-
less he meant, " receive my spirit to be with thee, in that glory,
wherein I have now seen thee, in heaven, at the right hand of
God." Thither it was, that the soul of the penitent thief on the
cross ascended. Christ said to him, "To-day shah thou be with
me in paradise." Paradise is the same with the third heaven ; as
appears by 2 Cor. xii. 2 — 4. There, that which is called the
third heaven in the second verse, in the fourth verse is called par-
adise. The departed souls of the Apostles and Prophets are in
heaven ; as is manifest from Rev. xviii. 20. " R,ejoice over her,
thou heaven, and ye holy apostles and prophets." The church
of God is distinguished in Scripture, from time to time, into these
two parts ; that part of it, which is m heaven, and that which is in
earth ; Eph. i:i. 14, 15. "Jesus Christ, of whom the whole fami-
ly in heaven and earth is named." Col. i. 20. " And having made

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERDS' FUNERAL. 479

peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things
to himself; by him, 1 say, whether they be things in earth, or
things in heaven." Now what " things in heaven" are they for
whom peace has been made by the blood of Christ's cross, and
who have by him been reconciled to God ; but the saints in heav-
en ? In like manner we read, Eph. i. 10. of " God's gathering
together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and
which are on earth, even in him." The "spirits of just men made
perfect" are in the same " City of the living God," with the " in-
numerable company of angels," and " Jesus the Mediator of the
new covenant ;" as is manifest by Heb. xii. 22 — 24. The church
of God is often in Scripture called by the name of Jerusalem:
and the Apostle speaks of the Jerusalem which is above, or which
is in heaven, as the mother of us all : but if no part of the church
be in heaven, or none but Enoch and Elias, it is not likely that the
church would be called the Jerusalem which is in heaven.

II. They go to dwell in the immediate, full, and constant sight
or view of Christ.

When we are absent from our dear friends, they are out of
sight; but when we are with them, we have the opportunity and
satisfaction of seeing them. While the saints are in the body,
and are absent from the Lord, he is in several respects out of
sight, 1 Pet. i. 8. "Whom having not seen, ye love: in whom,
though now ye"see him not, yet believing," &c. They have, in-
deed, in this world, a spiritual sight of Christ; but they see
through a glass darkly, and with great interruption ; but in heav-
en, they see him face to face, 1 Cor. xiii. 12. "The pure in
heart are blessed ; for they shall see God," Matth. v. S. Their
beatifical vision of God is in Christ ; who is that brightness or
effulgence of God's glory, by which his glory shines forth in heav-
en, to the view of saints and angels there, as well as here on
earth. This is the Sun of righteousness, which is not only the
light of this world, but is also the sun which enlightens the heaven-
ly Jerusalem; by whose bright beams the glory of God shines
forth there, to the enlightening and making happy of all the glori-
ous inhabitants. "The Lamb is the light thereof; and so the
Glory of God doth lighten it," Rev. xxi. 23. No one sees God
the Father immediately. He is the King eternal, immortal, invisi-
ble. Christ is the Image of that invisible God, by which he is
seen by all elect creatures. The only begotten Son who is in the
bosom of the Father, he hath declared him and manifested him.
No one has ever immediately seen the Father, but the Son ; and
no one else sees the Father in any other way, than by the SonV

480 EDWARD'S SERMON AT BRAINERDS* FUNERAL.

revealing him. In heaven, the spirits of just men made perfect
see him as he is. They behold his glory. They see the glory
of his divine nature, consisting in all the glory of the Godhead,
the beauty of all his perfections; his great majesty, and almighty
power, his infinite wisdom, holiness, and grace; and they see the
beauty of his glorified human nature, and the glory which the Fa-
ther hath given him, as God-man and Mediator. For this end
Christ desired that his saints might "be with him, that they might
behold his glory," John, xvii. 24. When the souls of the saints
leave their bodies, to go to be with Christ, they behold the glory
of the work of Redemption, " which the angels desire to look in-
to." They have the clearest view of the unfathomable depth of
the wisdom and knowledge of God ; and the brightest displays of
the purity and holiness of God, which appear in that work. They
see in a far clearer manner than the saints do here, "what is the
breadth and length, and depth and height of the grace and love of
Christ," appearing in his redemption. As they see the unspeak-
able riches and glory of God's grace, so they clearly understand
Christ's eternal and immeasurable love to them in particular. In
short, they see every thing in Christ which fends to inflame and
gratify love in the most clear and glorious manner, without any
darkness or delusion, without any impediment or interruption.
Now thy saints, while in the body, see somewhat of Christ's glory
and love; as we, in the dawn of the morning, see somewhat of
the reflected light of the sun mingled with darkness : but, when
separated from the body, they see their glorious and loving Re-
deemer, as we see the sun when risen, above the horizon, by his
direct beams, in a clear hemisphere, and with perfect day.

III. They are brought into a perfect conformity to, and union
with, Christ.

Their spiritual conformity is begun while they are in the body.
Here, " beholding as in a glass, the glory of the Lord, they are
changed into the same image ; but, when they come to see him
as he is, in heaven, then they become like him in another manner.
That perfect sight will annihilate all remains of deformity, and sin-
ful unlikeness; as all darkness is annihilated before the full blaze
of the sun's meridian light. It is impossible that the least degree
of obscurity should remain before such light; so it is impossible
the least degree of sin and spiritual deformity should remain, in
such a view of the spiritual beauty and glory of Christ, as the
saints enjoy in heaven. When they see the Sun of Righteous-
ness without a cloud, they themselves shine forth as the sun, and
shall be themselves as suns without a spot. Then Christ presents
his saints to himself, in glorious beauty ; " not having spot or

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 481

wrinkle, "or any such thing;" and having holiness without a
blemish. Then their union with Christ, is perfected. This also
is begun in this world. The relative union is both begun and per-
fected at once, when the soul first closes with Christ by faith. —
The real union ; consisting in the union of heart [and affection]
and in the vital union ; is begun in this world and perfected in the
next. The union of the heart of a believer to Christ, is begun
when his heart is drawn to Christ, by the first discovery of his di-
rine excellence at conversion. Consequent on this is established
a vital union with Christ; whereby the believer becomes a living
branch of the true vine, living by a communication of the sap and
vital juice of the stock and root: a member of Christ's mystical
body, living by a communication of spiritual and vital influences
from the head, and by a participation of Christ's own life. But
while the saints are in the body, there is much remaining distance
between Christ and them. The vital union is very imperfect;
and so is the communication of spiritual life and vital influence.
There is much between Christ and believers to keep them asun-
der, much indwelling sin, much temptation, a heavy moulded, frail
body, and a world o*f carnal objects, to keep off the sou] from
Christ, and hinder a perfect coalescence. But when the soul
leaves the body, all these hindrances are removed, every separa-
ting wall is broken down, every impediment is taken out of the
way, and all distance ceases; the heart is wholly and perfectly
drawn, and firmly and forever bound to Christ, by a perfect view
of his glory. The vital union is then brought to perfection ; the
soul lives perfectly in and upon Christ ; being perfectly filled with
his spirit, and animated by his vital influence ; living as it were
only by Christ's life, without any remainder of spiritual death, or
carnal life.

IV. They enjoy a glorious, and immediate, intercourse and
conversation with Christ.

While we are present with our friends, we have opportunity for
a free and immediate conversation with them, which we cannot
have when absent. Therefore, by reason of the far more free,
perfect, and immediate intercourse with Christ, which the saints
enjoy when absent from the body, are properly represented as
present with him.

The most intimate intercourse becomes that relation in which
the saints stand to Jesus Christ ; and especially becomes that
perfect and glorious union into which they shall be brought, with
him in heaven. They are not merely his servants, but his friends;
John xv. 15; his brethren and companions; Psal. exxii. 8; yea,
they are the spouse of Christ. They are espoused or betrothed

482 EDWARD'S SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.

to Christ while in the body; but when they go to heaven, their
marriage with him is come, and the King brings him into his pal-
ace. Christ conversed in the most friendly manner with his dis-
ciples on earth, and admitted one of them to lean on his bosom :
but they are admitted much more fully and freely to converse with
him in heaven. Though Christ be there in a state of glorious
exaltation, reigriing in the majesty and glory of the sovereign Lord
and God of heaven and earth, of angels and men; yet this will
not hinder the intimacy and freedom of their intercourse, but will
rather promote it. He is thus exalted, not only for himself, but
for them. He is Head over all things for their sakes, that they
may be exalted and glorified; and, when they go to heayen where
he is, they are exalted and glorified with him ; and shall not be
kept at a greater distance from Christ, but shall be admitted near-
er, and to a greater intimacy. They shall be unspeakably more
fit for it; and Christ will be in more fit circumstances to bestow
on them this blessedness. Their seeing the great glory of their
friend and Redeemer, will not awe them to a distance, and make
them afraid of a near approach ; but on the contrary, will most
powerfully draw them near, and encourage and engage them to
holy freedom. They will know that he is their own Redeemer,
and beloved friend ; the very same who loved them with a dying
love, and redeem them to God by his blood; Matt. xiv. 27. "It
is I ; be not afraid." (Rev. i, 17, 18.) "Fear not: I am he that
livelh, and was dead." The nature of this glory of Christ which
they shall see, will be such as will draw and encourage them ; for
they will not only see infinite majesty and greatness, but infinite
grace, condescension, gentleness and sweetness, equal to his ma-
jesty. He appears in heaven not only as " the Lion of the tribe
of Judah, but as the Lamb, and the Lamb in the midst of the
throne ;" (Rev. v. 5, 6, :) and this Lamb in the midst of the
tlirone shall be their shepherd, to "feed them, and lead them to
living fountains of water; (Rev. vii. 17;) so that the sight of
Christ's majesty will be no terror to them ; but will only serve the
more to heighten their pleasure and surprise. When Mary was
about to embrace Christ, being full of joy at seeing him again
alive after his crucifixion. Christ forbids her to do it for the pres-
ent; because he was not yet ascended ; (John xx. 16,17, "Je-
sus saith unto her, ' Mary.' She turned herself, and saith unto
him, • Rabboni,' which is to say, ' Master.' Jesus saith unto her,
' Touch me not ; for I am not yet ascended to my Father ; But
go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father
and your Father, and to my God and your God." As if he had
said, "This is not the time and place for that freedom which your

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 483

love to me desires. That is appointed in heaven after my ascen-
sion, lam going thither : and you who r. re my true disciples,
shall, as my brethren and companions, soon be there with me in
my glory. That is the place appointed for the most perfect ex-
pressions of complacence and endearment." Accordingly the
souls of departed saints in heaven, find Christ manifesting those
infinite riches of love towards them, which he has felt from eter-
nity ; and they are enabled to express their love to him, in an in-
finitely better manner, than they could while in the body. Thus
they shall be eternally encompassed by the infinitely bright and
mild and sweet beams of divine love ; eternally receiving that
light, and forever reflecting it to the fountain.

V. Thei/ arc received to a glorious fellowship with Christ in his

As the wife is received to a joint possession of her husband's
estate ; and as the wife of a prince partakes with him in his prince-
ly possessions and honours; so the church, the spouse of Christ,
is received to dwell with him in heaven, and shall partake with
him in his glory. When Christ rose from the dead, and took
possession of eternal life ; this was not as a private person, but as
the Head of his redeemed people. He took possession ot it tor
them, as well as for himself; and " they are quickened together with
him, and raised up together:' So, when he ascended, he took
possession of heaven not only for himself, but for his people, as
their Forerunner and Head, that they might ascend also, * and
sit together in heavenly places with bim.' (Eph. n.^5. o.j
"Christ writes upon them his new name.' (Rev. in. 12. 1. e.)
He makes them partakers of his own glory and exaltation in heav-
en His new Name is that new honour and glory with which the
Father invested him, when he set him at his own right hand : just
as a prince, when he advances any one to new dignity in his king-
dom, gives'him a new title. Christ and his saints shah be glorifi-
ed together, Rom. viii. 17. . . .

The saints in heaven have communion with Christ in his glory
and blessedness in heaven, in the following respects.

1. They partake with him in the ineffable delights which he has
in heaven, in the enjoyment of his Father. ^.j;,.

When Christ ascended to heaven, he was received toapecuhai
blessedness in the enjoyment of his Father, who ,n his passion
hid his face from him; such an enjoyment as became the iclation
in which he stood to the Father; and such as was a meet reward
for the great and difficult service which he had performed I on
earth. Then " God shewed him the path of life, and b. ought

484 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRA1NERDS FUNERAL.

him into his presence, where is fulness of joy, and to sit on his
right hand, where there are pleasures for evermore," as is said of
Christ, Psal. xvi. 11. Then the Father "made him most bles-
sed for ever: he made him exceeding glad with his countenance;"
as in Psal. xxi. 6. The saints, by their union with Christ, partake
of his child-like relation to the Father; and are heirs with him of
his happiness in the enjoyment of his Father ; as seems to be in-
timated by the Apostle, in Gal. iv. 4 — 7. The spouse of Christ,
by her espousals to the only begotten Son of God, is a partaker of
his filial relation to God ; becomes the King's daughter ; Psal.
xlv. 13 ; and so partakes with her divine Husband in his "en-
joyment of his Father and her Father, of his God and her God."
A promise of this seems to be implied in those words of Christ to
Mary, John, xx. 17. Thus Christ's faithful servants " enter into
the joy of their Lord," Math. xxv. 21, 23. ; and " Christ's joy
remains in them ;" agreeably to those words of Christ, John, xv.
11. Christ from eternity is in the bosom of the Father, as the
object of his infinite complacence. In him is the Father's eternal
happiness. Before the world was, he was with the Father, in the
enjoyment of his boundless love ; and had infinite delight and
blessedness in that enjoyment ; as he declares of himself in
Prov. viii. 30. "Then I was by him, as one brought up with
him : and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him.''
When Christ ascended to the Father after his passion, he
went to the enjoyment of the same glory and blessedness
in the enjoyment of his love ; agreeably to his prayer the
evening before his crucifixion, John xvii. 5. "And now, O Fa-
ther glorify me with thine own self, with the glory which I had
with thee before the world was." In the same prayer, he mani-
fests it to be his will, that his true disciples should be with him in
the enjoyment of that joy and glory, which he then asked for
himself; verse 13. " That my joy mightbe fulfilled in themselves;''
verse 22. " And the glory which thou gavest me, I have given
them." This glory and joy of Christ, which the saints are to
enjoy with him, is that which he has in the enjoyment of the
Father's infinite love to him ; as appears by the last words of that
prayer of our Liord, verse 26. " That the love wherewith thou
hast loved me, may be in them, and I in them." The love which
the Father has to his Son is great indeed ; the Deity does, as it
were, wholly and entirely flow out in a stream of love to Christ ;
and the joy and pleasure of Christ is proportionally great. This
is the stream of Christ's delight, the river of his infinite pleasure ;
which he will make his saints to drink of with him ; agreeably to
Psal. xxxvi. 8. 9. "They shall be abundantly satisfied with the

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 485

fatness of thy house : thou shalt make them drink of the river
of thy pleasures. For with thee is the fountain of life : in thy
light shall we see light." The saints shall have pleasure in par-
taking with Christ in his pleasure, and shall see light in his light.
They shall partake with Christ of the same river of pleasure,
shall drink of the same water of life, and of the same new wine
in his Father's kingdom ; Matth. xxvi. 29. That new wine is
especially that joy and happiness which Christ and his true disci-
ples shall partake of together in glory ; which is the purchase of
Christ's blood, or the reward of his obedience unto death Christ,
at his ascension into heaven, received everlasting pleasures at his
Father's right hand, in the enjoyment of his Father's love, as the
reward of his own obedience unto death. But the same righteous-
ness is reckoned both to the head and the members ; and both
shall have fellowship in the same reward ; each according to their
distinct capacity.

That the saints in heaven thus partake with Christ in his own
enjoyment of the Father, manifests the transcendent excellence of
their happiness, and their being admitted to a vastly higher privi-
lege in glory than the angels.

2. They partake, with Christ, in the glory of that dominion t
to which the Father has exalted him.

The saints, when they ascend to heaven, and are made to sit
together with Christ in heavenly places, are exalted to reign with
him, They are through him made kings and priests, and reign
with him, and in him, over the same kingdom. As the Father
has appointed unto him a kingdom, so he has appointed it to
them. The Father has appointed the Son to reign over his own
kingdom, and the Son appoints his saints to reign in his. The
Father has given to Christ to sit with him on his throne, and
Christ gives to the saints to sit with him on his throne, agreeably
to his promise; Rev. iii. 21. Christ, as God's Son, is the Heir
of his kingdom ; and the saints are joint-heirs with Christ; which
implies, that they are heirs of the same inheritance, to possess the
same kingdom, in and with him, according to their capacity.
Christ in his kingdom reigns over heaven and earth ; he is ap-
pointed the " Heir of all things;" and so all things are the saints';
" whether Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas, or the world, or life, oi
death, or things present, or things to come," all are theirs ; because
they are Christ's, and united to him; (1 Cor. iii. 21 — 23.) The
angels are given to Christ as a part of his dominion, to wait upon
him as ministering spirits : so they are all ministering spirits, to
minister tothem who are the heirs of salvation. They are Christ's
angels, and they are also their angels. Such is the saints' union

486 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S Fl NEK AL.

with Christ, and their interest in him, that what he possesses,
they possess, in a much more perfect and blessed manner than if
-all things were given to them separately, and by themselves, to be
disposed of according to their discretion. All things are now dis-
posed of so a*, hi every respect, to be most for their blessedness,
by an infinitely better discretion than their own ; and are disposed
of, also, by their head and husband, between whom and them
there is the most perfect union of hearts, and of wills, and who
are one, even as Christ and the Father are one.

As the glorified spouse of this great King reigns with him, in
his dominion over the universe ; so more especially does she^
share with him in the joy and glory of his reign in his kingdom of
grace. This is peculiarly the kingdom which he possesses as
Head of the Church, and is that kingdom m which she is more
especially interested. It was especially to reign in this kingdom,
that God the Father exalted him to his throne in heaven. He set
his King on his holy hill of Zion, especially that he might reign
over Zion, or over his church, in his kingdom of grace; and that
he might be under the best advantages to carry on the designs of
his love in this lower world. Hence, the saints in heaven are par-
takers in Christ's joy when they witness the prosperity of his king-
dom of grace on earth, and the success of his gospel here ; which
he looks on as the peculiar glory of his reign. The good shep-
herd rejoices when he finds but one sheep that was lost ; and his
friends and neighbours in heaven rejoice with him on that occasion.
That part of the family which is "in heaven are surely not unac-
quainted with the affairs of that part of the same family which is
on earth. They who are with the King and are next to him, the
royal family who dwell in his palace, are not kept in ignorance of
the affairs of his kingdom. The saints in heaven are with the
angels, the King's ministers; by whom he manages the affairs of
his" kingdom ; and who are continually ascending and descending
from heaven to earth, and daily employed as ministering spirits to
each individual member of the church below : beside the contin-
ual ascending of the souls of departed saints from all parts of the
militant church. On these accounts the saints in heaven must be
under far greater advantages than we are here, for a full view
of the state of the church on earth, and a speedy direct, and
certain acquaintance with all its affairs in every country.
That which gives them a still greater advantage for such an
acquaintance/ is their being constantly in the immed.ate pres-
ence of Christ, and in the enjoyment of the most perfect inter-
course with him, who. as the King of the Church, manages all
fhrse affair, and has a perfect knowledge of them. Christ is the

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 481

Head of the whole glorified assembly ; they are mystically his
glorified body : and what the head sees, it sees for the informa-
tion of the whole body, according to its capacity : and what the-
head enjoys, is for the joy of the whole body. The saints, in
leaving this world, and ascending to heaven, do not go out of sight
of things appertaining to Christ's kingdom on earth. On the con-
trary, they go out of a state of obscurity, and ascend above the
mists and clouds, into the clearest light ; to a pinnacle, in the
very centre of light, where every thing appears in clear view.
They have as much greater advantage to'view the state of Christ's
kingdom, and the works of the new creation here, than they had
while in this world ; as a man who ascends to the top of a higb
mountain has greater advantage to view the face of the earth,
than he had while he was in a deep valley, or thick forest below ;
surrounded on every side with those things which impeded and
limited his sight. Nor do they view them as indiiFerent or un-
concerned spectators, any more than Christ himself is an uncon-
cerned spectator. The happiness of the saints in heaven consists
very much in beholding the glory of God appearing in the work
of Redemption : for it is by this chiefly that God manifests his
glory, the glory of his wisdom, holiness, grace, and other perfec-
tions, to both saints and angels ; as is apparent by many scrip-
tures. Hence, undoubtedly much of their happiness consists in
beholding the progress of this work in its application and suc-
cess, and the steps by which Infinite power and wisdom brings it
to its consummation. They are under unspeakably greater ad-
vantages to enjoy the progress of this work, than we are ; as the}
are under greater advantages to see and understand the mar-
vellous steps which Divine wisdom takes in all that is done, and
the glorious ends he obtains ; the opposition Satan makes, and
how he is baffled and overthrown. They can better see the con-
nection of one event with another, and the beautiful order of all
things which come to pass in the church in different ages that to
us appear like confusion. Nor do they only view these things,
and rejoice in them, as a glorious and beautiful sight ; but as per-
sons interested, as Christ is interested ; as possessing these things
in Christ, and reigning with him, in his kingdom. Christ's suc-
cess in his work of redemption, in bringing home souls to him-
self, applying his saving benefits by his Spirit, and the advance-
ment of the kingdom of grace in the world, is the reward espe-
cially promised to him by his Father in the Covenant of redemp-
tion, for the hard and difficult service which he performed while
in the form of a servant ; as is manifest by Is. liii. 10 — 12. But
the saints shall partake with him in the joy of this reward ; for
this obedience which is thus rewarded, is reckoned to them a>

488 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.

they are his members. This was specially the joy that was set
before Christ; for the sake of which, he endured the cross, and
despised the shame ; and his joy is the joy of all heaven. They,
who are with him in heaven, are under much the greatest advan-
tages to partake with him in this joy ; for they have a perfect
communion with him through whom they enjoy all their heavenly
happiness ; as much as the whole body has all its pleasure of mu-
sic by the ear, and all the benefit and refreshment of air by the
lungs. The saints while on earth pray and labour for the same
thing for which Christ laboured, viz. the advancement of the
kingdom of God among men, the promoting of the prosperity of
Zion, and the flourishing of religion in this world ; and most of
them have suffered for that end as Christ did, have been made
partakers with their head in his sufferings, and " filled up, as the
Apostle expresses it, that which is behind of the sufferings of
Christ. " Hence they shall partake with him of the glory and joy
of the end obtained; Rom. viii. 17. " We are joint-heirs with
Christ ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also
glorified together." 2 Tim. ii. 12. " If we suffer with him, we
shall also reign with him." Christ, when his sufferings were
past, and he left the earth and ascended to heaven, was so far
from having done with his kingdom in this world, that it was as it
were but then begun. He ascended for that very end, that he
might more fully possess and enjoy this kingdom, and that he
might reign in it; as a king ascends a throne to reign over his
people, and receive the honour and glory of his dominion. No
more have the saints done with Christ's kingdom on earth, when
they leave the earth and ascend into heaven. " Christ ascended
in the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and
was brought near before him," to the very end, " that he might
receive dominion, and glory, and a kingdom ; that al! people,^ na-
tions and languages, should serve him," Dan. vii. 13, 14. This
will be eminently fulfilled after the ruin of Antichrist, which is
especially the time of Christ's kingdom. The same is the time
when "the kingdom and the dominion, and the greatness of the
kingdom under the whole heaven, shall be given to the people of
the saints of the Most High God." This is because they shall
rei"nin and with Christ, the Most High, " whose kingdom is an
everlasting kingdom, " and whom all dominions shall serve and
obey." This is true, not only of the saints on earth, but also of
the saints in heaven. Hence the saints in heaven, hav.ng respect
to this time, do sing, in Rev. v. 10. "We shall reign on the
earth." Agreeably hereto, it is afterwards represented, that when
that time comes, the souls of them who in former ages had suf-
fered with Christ, do reign with Christ ; having as it were given

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 489

to them new life and joy, in that spiritual blessed resurrection,
which shall then be of the church of God on earth ; and thus
"The meek, those who meekly and patiently suffer with Christ
and for his sake, shall inherit the earth :" they shall inherit it, and
reign on earth with Christ. Christ is the heir of the world ; and
when the appointed time of his kingdom comes, his inheritance
shall be given him; and there the meek, who are joint-heirs, shall
also inherit it. The place in the Old Testament whence these
words are taken, leads to their true interpretation ; Psal. xxxvii.
11. "The meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight them-
selves in the abundance of peace.'' That these words refer to
the peace and blessedness of the latter day, we learn by compar-
ing them with Psalm Ixxii. 7. " In his days shall be abundance
of peace, so long as the moon endureth :" And Jer. xxxiii. 6. " I
will reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth :"' Also Is.
ii. 4. Mic. iv. 3. Is. xi. 6 — 9 ; and many other parallel places.
The saints in heaven will as truly share with Christ in reignintjover
the nations, and in the glory of his dominion at that time, as they
will share with him in the honour of judging the world at the last day.
The promise of Christ to his deciples. Matth. xix. 28, 29. seems
to have a special respect to the former of these. In ver. 28.
Christ promises the disciples, that hereafter, " when the Son of
Man shall sit on the throne of his glory, they shall sit on twelve
thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel." The saints in heav-
en reigning on earth in the glorious latter day, is described in
language accommodated to this promise of Christ, Rev. xx. 4.
" And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them ; and judgment
was given them. — And they reigned with Christ." And the
promise in the next verse, in that xixth of Matthew, seems to
have its fulfilment at the same time : " And every one that hath
forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or wife or chil-
dren, or lands, for my names sake, shall receive an hundred fold,
and shall inherit everlasting life ;" i. e. At the time when the
saints shall inherit the earth and reign on earth, the earth,
with all its blessings shall be given in great abundance to
the church, to be possessed by the saints. This they shall re-
ceive in the present world, and in the world to come everlasting
life. The saints in heaven shall partake with Christ in the tri-
umph and glory of those victories which he shall obtain, at that
glorious period over the kings and nations of the world ; which
are sometimes represented by his ruling them zvith a rod of iron,
and dashing them in pieces as a potter'' s vessel. To this doubtless
there is a reference in Rev. ii. 26. 27. " He that overebmeth,
and keepeth my words unto the end, to him will I give power over
the nations ; and he shall rule them with a rod of iron ; as the

4&0 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD's FUNERAL,

vessels of a potter shall they be broken to shivers, even as I re-
ceived of my Father." And in Psal. cxlix. 5, to the end ; " Let
the saints be joyful in glory : let them sing aloud upon their beds ;
(i.e. in their separate state after death; compare Is. lvlii. 1,2.)
Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a two-edged
sword in their hand ; to execute vengeance upon the heathen,
and punishments upon the people ; to bind their kings with
chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron, to execute upon them
the judgment written : This honour have all the saints." Accor-
dingly, when Christ appears riding forth to his victory over An-
tichrist, Rev. xix. the hosts of heaven appear going forth with
him in robes of triumph, ver. 1 4. When Antichrist is destroyed, the
inhabitants of heaven, and the holy apostles and prophets, are
called upon to rejoice, chap, xviii. 20. Accordingly, the whole
multitude of the inhabitants of heaven on that occasion, exult, and
praise God with exceeding joy ; (chap. xix. 1 — 8, and chap. xi.
15,) and are also represented as greatly rejoicing on occasion of
the ruin of the heathen empire, in the days of Constantino,
(chap. xii. 10.) It is observable all along in the visions of that
book, that the hosts of heaven appear as much concerned and in-
terested in the events appertaining to the kingdom of Christ here
below, as the saints on earth. The commencement of the
Church's latter-day glory is eminently " the day of Christ s es-
pousals;" "the day of the gladness of his heart, when as the bride-
groom rejoiceth over the bride, so he will rejoice over his
church." Then will all heaven exceedingly rejoice with him ;
and therefore they say at that time, (Rev. xix-. 7) "Let us be
glad and rejoice, and give glory to him ; for the Marriage of the

Lamb is come."

Thus Abraham enjoys these things, when they come to pass,
which were of old promised to him, which he saw before hand,
and in which he rejoiced. He will enjoy the fulfilment of the
promise that all the families of the earth should be blessed in his
seed, when it shall be accomplished. All the ancient patriarchs,
who died believing in the promises of glorious things to be ac-
complished in this world ; " who had not received the promises
but 4w them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced
them ; do actually enjoy them when fulfilled. David actually
saw and enjoyed the fulfilment of that promise, in its due time,
which was made to him many hundred years before, and was all
hi« salvation and all his desire." Thus Daniel shall stand in hi?
lot, at the end of the days pointed out by his own prophecy.
Thus the saints of old, who died in faith not having received the
promise, are made perfect, and have their faith crowned by the

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 4'J1

better things accomplished in these latter days of the gospel,
(Heb. xk 39, 40,) which they see and enjoy in their time.

3. They have fellowship 7oith Christ, in his blessed and eternal
Employment of glorifying the Father.

The happiness of heaven consists, not merely nor principally
in contemplation and passive enjoyment, but to a great degree in
action ; and particularly in actively serving and glorifying God.
This is expressly mentioned as a great part of the blessedness of
the saints in their perfect state, Rev. xxii. 3. " And there shall
be no more curse ; but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall
be in it ; and his servants shall serve him." The angels arc as a
flame of fire in their ardour and activity in God's service. The
four living creatures, (Rev. iv.) who are generally supposed to
signify the angels, are represented as continually giving praise
and glory to God, and are said not to rest day nor night. The
souls of departed saints are doubtless become as the angels of
God in this respect. Jesus Christ is the head of the whole glo-
rious assembly, as in other things pertaining to their blessed state,
so in this of their praising and glorifying the Father. When
Christ, the night before he was crucified, prayed for his exalta-
tion to glory, it was that he might glorify the Father; John, xvii.
1. " These words spake Jesus, and lift up his eyes to heaven,
and said, ' Father, the hour is come ; glorify thy Son ; that thy
Son also may glorify thee." This he doubtless does, now he is in
heaven ; not only in fulfilling the Father's will, in what he does
as Head of the church and Ruler of the universe; but also in
leading the heavenly assembly in their praises. When Christ in-
stituted the Lord's Supper, and ate and drank with his disciples
at his table ; giving them therein a representation and pledge of
their future feasting with him, and drinking new wine in his
heavenly Father's kingdom ; he at that time led them in their
praises to God, in the hymn which they sang. So, doubtless, he
leads his glorified disciples in heaven. David, as the sweet
psalmist of Israel, led the great congregation of God's people in
their songs of praise. In this, as in innumerable other things, he
was a type of Christ ; who is often spoken of in Scripture by the
name of David. Many of the psalms which David penned, were
songs of praise, which he, by the Spirit of prophecy, uttered in
the name of Christ, as head of the church, and leading the saints
in their praises. Christ in heaven leads the glorious assembly in
their praises to God, as Moses did the congregation of Israel
at the Red Sea : which is implied in its being said, that "they
sing the song of Moses and the Lamb." (Rev. xv. 2, 3.) In Rev.
xix. 5. John tells us, that " he heard a voice come out of the.
throne, saying, " Praise our God, all ye his servants, and ye that

492 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.

fear him, both small and great." Who can it be, that utters this
voice out of the throne, but " the Lamb who is in the midst of the
throne," calling on the glorious assembly of saints to praise his
Father and their Father, his God and their God 1 What the
consequence of this voice is, we learn in the following words :
"And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as
the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunder-
ings, saying, ' Alleluia ; for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth."

APPLICATION.

The subject, which we have been considering, may be use-
fully applied in the way of exhortation. Let us all be exhorted
hence earnestly to seek after that great privilege which has been
spoken of; that when " we are absent from the body, we may be
present with the Lord." We cannot continue always in these
earthly tabernacles. They are very frail, and will soon decay
and fall ; and are continually liable to be overthrown by innume-
rable means. Our souls must soon leave them, and go into the
eternal world. O, how infinitely great will be the privilege and
happiness of those, who, at that time shall go to be with Christ
in his glory, in the manner that has been represented ! The
privilege of the twelve disciples was great, in being so constantly
with Christ as his family, in his state of humiliation. The privi-
lege of those three disciples was great, who were with him in the
mount of his Transfiguration ; where was exhibited to them a
faint semblance of his future glory in heaven, such as they might
safely behold in (he present frail, feeble, and sinful state. They
were greatly delighted with what they saw ; and were desirous
of making tabernacles to dwell there, and return no more down
the mount. Great, also, was the privilege of Moses when he
was with Christ in Mount Sinai, and besought him to shew him
his glory, and he saw his back-parts as he passed by, and heard
him proclaim his Name. But is not that privilege infinitely great-
er, which has now been spoken of : the privilege of being with
Christ in heaven, where he sits on the throne, as the King of an-
gels, and the God of the universe ; shining forth as the Sun of
that world of glory ; — there to dwell in the full, constant, and
everlasting view of his beauty and brightness ; — there most freely
and intimately to converse with him, and fully to enjoy his love,
as his friends and brethren ; — there to share with him in the infi-
nite pleasure and joy which he has in the enjoyment of his Fa-
ther ; — there to sit with him on his throne to reign with him in
the possession of all things, to partake with him in the glory of
his victory over his enemies, and the advancement of his king-
dom in the world, and to join with him in joyful songs of praise to'

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINEKD'S FUNERAL. 493

his Father and our Father, to his God and our God, for ever and
ever ? Is not this a privilege worth the seeking after ?

Here, as a powerful enforcement of this exhortation, 1 would
improve that afflictive dispensation of God^ holy Providence,
which is the occasion of our coming together at this time: the
Death of that eminent servant of Jesus Christ, whose funeral is
this day to he attended ; together with what was observable in him,
living and dying.

In this dispensation of Providence, God puts us in mind of our
mortality, and forewarns us that the time is approaching when we
must be " absent from the body j" and " must appear," as the
Apostle observes in the next verse but one to the text, "before
the judgment-seat of Christ, that every one of us may receive the
things done in the body, according to what we have done, wheth-
er it be good or bad."

In him, whose death we are now called to consider and im-
prove, we have not only an instance of mortality ; but as we have
all imaginable reason to conclude, an instance of one, who, be-
ing absent from the body, is present with the Lord. Of this, we
shall he convinced, whether we consider the nature of his expe-
rience at the time whence he dates his conversion ; or the nature
and course of his inward exercises from that time forward ; or his
outward conversation and practice in life ; or his frame and be-
haviour during the whole of that long space wherein he looked
death in the face.

His convictions of sin, preceding his first consolations in Christ,
as appears by a written account which he has left of his inward
exercises and experiences, were exceedingly deep and thorough.
His trouble and sorrow arising from a sense of guilt and misery,
were very great and long continued, but yet sound and rational ;
consisting in no unsteady, violent, and unaccountable frights,
and perturbations of mind ; but arising from the most serious con-
sideration, and a clear illumination of the conscience to discern
and consider the true state of things. The light let into his mind
at conversion, and the influences and exercises to which his mind
was subject at that time, appear very agreeable to reason and
the gospel of Jesus Christ. The change was very great and re-
markable ; yet without any appearance of strong impressions on
the imagination, of sudden flights of the affections, or of vehe-
ment emotions of the animal nature. It was attended with just
views of the supreme glory of the divine Being ; consisting in the
infinite dignity and beauty of the perfections of his nature, and
of the transcendent excellency of the way of salvation by Christ.
— This was about eight years ago, when he was twenty-one years
of age.

494 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL,

Thus God sanctified, and made meet for his use, that vessel,
which he intended to make eminently a vessel of honour in his
house, and which he had made of large capacity, having endow-
ed him with very uncommon abilities and gifts of nature. He
was a singular instance of a ready invention, natural eloquence,
easy flowing expression, sprightly apprehension, quick discern-
ment, and very strong memory ; and yet of a very penetrating
genius, close and clear thought, and piercing judgment. He
had an exact taste: His understanding was, if I may so express
it, of a quick, strong, and distinguishing scent.

His learning was very considerable. He had a great taste for
learning; and applied himself to his studies in so close a manner
when he was at college, that he much injured his health ; and was
obliged on that account for a while to leave college, throw by his
studies, and return home. He was esteemed one who excelled
in learning in that society.

He had extraordinary knowledge of men, as well as of things ;
and an uncommon insight into human nature. He excelled most
whom 1 ever knew in the power of communicating his thoughts ;■
and had a peculiar talent at accommodating himself to the ca-
pacities, tempers, and circumstances, of those whom he would
instruct or counsel.

He had extraordinary gifts for the pulpit. I never had an op-
portunity to hear him preach ; but have often heard him pray.
I think that his manner of addressing himself to God, and express-
ing himself before him, in that duty, almost inimitable ; such as
I have very rarely known equalled. He expressed himself with
such exact propriety and pertinency ; in such significant, weigh-
ty, pungent expressions ; with such an appearance of sincerity,
reverence, and solemnity, and so great a distance from all af-
fectation, as forgetting the presence of men, and as being in the
immediate presence of a great and holy God ; as 1 have scarcely
ever known paralleled. His manner of preaching-, by what I have
often heard of it from good judges, was no less excellent ; being
clear and instructive, natural,^nervous and moving, and very
searching and convincing. He nauseated an affected noisiness,
and violent boisterousness in the pulpit ; and yet much disrelish-
ed a flat cold delivery, when the subject required affection and
earnestness.

Not only had he excellent talents for the study and the pulpit,
but also for conversation. He was of a social disposition ; was
remarkably free, entertaining, and profitable in his ordinary dis-
course : and discovered uncommon ability in disputing ; in de-
fending truth and confuting error.

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 405

He excelled in his knowledge of Theology; and was truly, for
one of his standing, an extraordinary divine ; but above all in
matters relating to experimental religion. In this, I know that I
have the concurring opinion of some, who are generally regarded
as persons of the best judgment. According to what ability \
have to judge of things of this nature, and according to my oppor-
tunities, which of late have been very great, I never knew his
equal, of his age and standing, for clear, accurate notions of the
nature and essence of true religion, and its distinctness from its
various false appearances. This I suppose to be owing to the
strength of his understanding ; to the great opportunities which
he had of observing others, both whites and Indians ; and to his
own great experience.

His experiences of the holy influences of God's Spirit were not
only great at his first conversion ; but they were so, in a continued
course, from that time forward. This appears from a diary, which
he kept of his daily inward exercises, from the time of his con-
version, until he was disabled by the failing of his strength, a few
days before his death. The change, which he looked upon as
his conversion, was not only a great change of the present views,
affections, and frame of his mind ; but was evidently the begin-
ning of that work of God in his heart, which God carried on, in a
very wonderful manner, from that time to his dying day.* He
abhorred the course pursued by those, who live on their
first evidences of piety, as though they had now finished their

*This more abundantly appears from a farther acquaintance with his diary, since
this sermon was delivered. Grace in him seems to have been almost continually,
with scarcely the intermission of a day, in very sensible, and indeed vigorous and
powerful exercise, in one respect or other. His heart appears to have been exer-
cised, in a continued course, in such things as these that follow : the most ardent
and pure love to God ; great weanedness from the world, and sense of its vanity ;
°reat humiliation ; a most abasing sense of his own vileness ;• a deep sense of in-
dwelling sin, which indeed was most evidently, by far the greatest burden of his
life, and more than all other afflictions that he met with put together ; great broken-
ne<=« of heart before God, for his small attainments in grace, that he loved God so
little, &c. mourning that he was so unprofitable ; earnest longings and thirstings ot
«oul after holiness ; earnest de-ires that God might be glorified, and that Christ 6
kingdom might be advanced in the world; wrestlings with God in prayer ;or these
things • deli-ht in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the way of salvation by h.m ; sweet
complacence in those whose conversation savoured of true holiness ; compassion to
the souls of men, and earnest intercessions in secret for them ; great resignation to
the will of God; a very frequent, most s< .-nsible, renewed renunciation ot all thing*
for Christ, and giving up himself wholly to God, in soul and body ; great distrust ol
£ own heart, and universal dependence on God; longings after full deliverance
from the bodv of sin and death, after perfect conformity to God, and perfectly glori-
fy?" him in heaven; clear views of eternity, almost as though he were actualh
out of the body, and had his eyes open in another world ; constant watchfulness over
his own heart, and continual earnestness in his inward warfare with sin ; together
with great care to the utmost, to improve time for God, in his service, and to h.<
glory.

496 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.

work ; and thenceforward gradually settle into a cold, lifeless,
negligent, worldly frame.

His experiences were very different from many things, which
have lately been regarded by multitudes, as the very height of
Christian experience. When that false religion, which arises
chiefly from impressions on the imagination, began first to gain a
very great prevalence in the land, he was for a little while de-
ceived with it, so as to think highly of it. Though he knew that
he never had such experiences as others told of, yet he thought
it was because their attainments were superior to his; and so
coveted them, and sought after them, but could never obtain
them. He told me that he never had what is called an impulse,.
or a strong impression on his imagination, in things of religion, in
his life ; yet owned, that during the short time in which he
thought well of these things, he was tinged with that spirit of false
zeal, which was wont to attend them ; but added, that, even at this
time, he was not in his element, but as a fish out of water. When,
after a little while, he came clearly to see the vanity and perni-
ciousness of such things, it cost him abundance of sorrow and dis-
tress of mind, and to my knowledge he afterwards freely and
openly confessed the errors in conduct into which he had run,
and humbled himself before those whom he had offended. Since
his conviction of his error in those respects, he has ever had a pe-
culiar abhorrence of that kind of bitter zeal, and those delusive
experiences which have been the principal source of it. He de-
tested Enthusiasm in all its forms and operations ; and condemned
%vhatever in opinion or experience seemed to verge towards An-
tinomianism. He regarded with abhorrence the experiences of
those, whose first faith consists in believing that Christ died for
them in particular ; whose first love consists in loving God, be-
cause they suppose themselves the objects of his love ; and whose
assurance of their good estate arises from some immediate testi-
mony, or suggestion, either with or without texts of Scripture,
that their sins are forgiven, and that God loves them; as well as
the jovs of those who rejoice more in their own supposed distinc-
tion above others, in honour, privileges, and high experiences,
than in God's excellence and Christ's beauty ; and the spiritual
pride of those laymen, who set themselves up as public teachers,
and decry human learning, and a learned ministry. He greatly
nauseated every thing like noise and ostentation in religion, and
the disposition which many possess to publish and proclaim their
own experiences ; though he did not condemn, but approved ot
Christians speaking of their experiences, on some occasions, and
to some persons, with modesty, discretion and reserve. He abom-
inated the spirit and practice of the generality of the Separatists

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 497

in this land. I heard him say, once and again, that he had had
much intercourse with this class of people, and was acquainted
with many of them in various parts of the country, and that by
this acquaintance he knew, that what was chiefly and most gene-
rally in repute among them, as the power of godliness, was en-
tirely a different tiling from that vital piety recommended in the
Scriptures, and had nothing in it of that nature. He never was
more full in condemning these things than in his last illness, and
after he ceased to have any expectations of life : particularly,
when he had the greatest and nearest views of approaching eter-
nity ; and several times, when he thought himself actually dying,
and expected in a few minutes to be in the eternal world, as he
himself told me.*

* Since this Sermon was preached, I find what follows iu his Diary for the last
summer.

" Thursday, June 18. "I was this day taken exceeding: ill, and brought to the
gates of death. — In this extremely weak state I continued for several weeks; and
was frequently reduced so low as to be utterly speechless, and not able so much as
to whisper a word. Even after I had so far revived, as to walk about house, and to
step out of doors, 1 was exercised every day with a faint turn, which continued usu-
ally four or five hours. At these times, though I could say yes or no; yet I could
not converse at ail, nor speak one sentence without making; stops lor breath. And
divers times, in this season, my friends gathered round my bed, to see me breathe
my last; which they looked for every moment, as I myself also did.

" How I was the first day or two of my illness, with regard to the exercise of rea-
son, I scarcely know : but 1 believe I was somewhat shattered, with the violence of
the fever, at times. But the third day of my illness, and constantly afterwards, for
four or five weeks together, I enjoyed as much serenity of mind, and clearness ot
thought, as perhaps I ever did in my life. I think that my mind never penetrated
with so much ease and freedom into divine things as at this time ; and that I never
felt so capable of demonstrating the truth of many important doctrines of the gospel
as now.

" As I saw clearly the truth of those great doctrines, which are justly styled the
doctrines of grace ; so 1 saw with no less clearness, that the essence of true religion
consists in the soul's conformity to God, and acting above all selfi-h views, for his
glory, longing to be for him, to live to him, and please and honour him in all thing?;
and that, from a clear view of his infinite excellence and worthiness in himself, to be
lored, adored, worshipped, and served, by all intelligent creatures. Thus I saw,
that when a soul loves God with a supreme love, he therein acts like the blessed
God himself, who most justly loves himself in that maDner ; so when God's interest
and his are become oue, and he longs that God should be glorified, and rejoices to
think that he is unchangeably possessed of the highest glory and blessedness, herein
also he acts in conformity to God. Iu like manner, when the soul is filly resigned
to, and rests satisfied and contented with the divine will, here he is also co.ilormed

to God. i /- 1 1

"I saw further, that as this divine temper, whereby the soul exalts bod, ana
treads itself in the dust, is wrought in the soul by God's discovering his ownglori*
ous perfections, in the face of Jesus Christ, to it, by the spec.al mfluenee* oi his HolJ
Spirit; so he could not but have regard to it as his own work: A- .t is hi- image
the soul, he could not but take delight in it. Then I saw aga.n that if ( .od should
slight and reject his own moral image, he must needs deny hunseli ; whicft ^can-
not do. Thus I saw the stability and infallibility of this rel.gion; and that those
who were truly possessed of it, had the most complete and satisfying evidence <X
tjieir being interested in all the benefits of Christ's redemption, having their heait

193 EDWARDS* SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.

As his inward appearances appear to have been of the right
kind, and were very remarkable as to their degree, so were his
outward behaviour and practice agreeable. In his whole course,
he acted as one who had indeed sold all for Christ, had entirely
devoted himself to God, had made his glory his highest end, and
was fully determined to spend his whole time and strength in his
service. He was animated in religion, in the right way : animated
not merely, nor chiefly, with his tongue, in professing and talking;
but animated in the work and business of religion. He was not
one of those who contrive to shun the cross, and get to heaven in

conformed to him ; and that these, and these only, were qualified for the employ-
ments and entertainments of God's kingdom of glory ; as none but these would
have any relish for the business of heaven, which is to ascribe glory to God, and not
to themselves ; and that God. (though I would speak it with great reverence of his
name and perfections) could not, without denying himself, finally cast such away.

" The next thing I bad then to do, was to enquire, Whether this was my religion.
Here God was pleased to help me to the most easy remembrance, and critical review
of what had passed in course, of a religious r.atrtre, through several of the latter
years of my life. Although I could discover much corruption attending my best
duties, many selfish views and carnal ends, much spiritual pride, and self-exaltation,
and innumerable other evils which compassed me about ; I say, although I now
discerned the sins of my holy things, as wall as other actions ; yet God was pleased,
as I was reviewing, quickly to put this question out of doubt, by shewing me that I
had, from time to time, acted above the utmost influence of mere self-love ; that I
had longed to please and glorify him, as my highest happiness, <fcc. This review,
was through grace, attended with a present feeling of the same divine temper of
mind. I felt bow phased to think of the glory of God ; and longed for heaven, as a
state wherein I might glorify G od perfectly, rather than a place of happiness for my-
self. This feeling of the lo v e of God in my heart, which I trust the Spirit of God
excited in me afresh, was suiiicient to give me full satisfaction, and make me long
as I had many times before done, to be with Christ. 1 did not now want any of the
sudden suggestions, with which many are so pleased, '•That Christ and his benefits
ore mine,' '■That God /or« me,' in order to give me satisfaction about my state.
No : my soul abhorred those delusions of Satan ; which are thought to be the imme-
diate witness of the Spirit, while there is nothing but an empty suggestion of a certain
fact, without any gracious discovery of the divine glory, or of the Spirit's work in
their own heart5. I saw the awful delusion of this kind of confidences ; as well as
of the whole of that religion from which they usually spring, or of which at
least they are the attendants ; the false religion of the late day, though a day of
wondrous grace ; the imaginations and impressions made only on the animal affec-
tions; together with the sudden suggestions made to the mind by Satan, transform-
ed into an angel of liglit, of certain facts not revealed in Scripture : These I say,
and many like things, 1 fear have made up the greater part of the religious appear-
ances in many place:.

" These things I saw with great clearness, when I was thought to be dying, find
God gave me great concern for his church and interest in the world at this time :
Not so much because the bite remarkable influence upon the minds of the people
was abated, and almost wholly gone, as because the false religion, the heats of ima-
gination, and wild and selfish commotions of the animal affections, which attended
ihe work of grace, had prevailed so far. This was that whicli my mind dwelt upon
almost day and night : And this to me was the darkest appearance respecting reb'gion
in the land. For it was this chiefly that had prejudiced the world against inward
religion. This I saw was the great misery of all, that so few saw any manner of
difference between those exercises which are spiritual and holy, and those which
have self-love only for their beginning, centre, and end."

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 499

*
the indulgence of ease and sloth. His life of labour and self-de-
nial, the sacrifices which he made, and the readiness and constan-
cy with which he spent his strength and substance to promote the
glory of his Redeemer, are probably without a parallel in this age
in these parts of the world. Much of this may be perceived by
any one who reads his printed Journal ; but much more has been
learned by long and intimate accpiaintance with him, and by look-
ing into his Diary since his death, which he purposely concealed
in what he published.

As his desires and labours for the advancement of Christ's king-
dom were great, so was his success. God was pleased to make
him the instrument of bringing to pass the most remarkable alter-
ation among the poor savages, in enlightening, awakening, re-
forming and changing their disposition and manners, and wonder-
fully transforming them, of which perhaps any instance can be
produced in these latter ages of the world. An account of this
has been given the public in his Journal, drawn up by order of tbe
Honourable Society in Scotland, which employed him. This I
would recommend to the perusal of all who take pleasure in the
wonderful works of God's grace, and who wish to read that which
will peculiarly tend both to entertain and profit a christian mind.

Not less extraordinary were his constant calmness, peace, as-
surance and joy in God, during the long time he looked death in
the face, without the least hope of recovery ; continuing without
interruption to the last ; while his distemper very sensibly preyed
upon his vitals, from day to day, and often brought him to that
state in which he looked upon himself, and was thought by others,
to be dying. The thoughts of approaching death never seemed
in the least to damp him, but rather to encourage him, and exhili-
rate his mind. The nearer death approached, the more desirous lie
seemed to be to die. He said, not long before his death, that " the
consideration of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a
long time been peculiarly sweet to him." At another time he ob-
served, that he could not but think of the propriety there was in
throwing such a rotten carcase as his into the grave : It seemed to
him to be the right way of disposing of it." He often used the
epithet glorious, when speaking of the day of his death, calling
it that glorious day. On Sabbath morning, Sept. 27, feeling an
unusually violent appetite for food, and looking on it as a sign
of approaching death; he said "he should look on it as a favour,
if this might be his dying day, and that he longed for the time."
He had before expressed himself desirous of seeing his brother
again, whose return had been expected from New-Jersey ; but
then, [speaking of him] he said, " I am willing fo go, and never

500 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.

see him again: I care not what I part with, to be forever with the
Lord.'-' Being asked that morning, how he did ? he answered,
"I am almost in eternity; God knows, I long to be there. My
work is done: I have done with all my friends: Ah the world is
nothing to me." On the evening of the next day, when he thought
himself dying, and was apprehended to be so by others, and he
could utter himself only by broken whispers, he often repeated
the word Eternity; and said, "I shall soon be with the holy an-
gels." "Jesus will come, he will not tarry." He told me one
night, as he went to bed, that "he expected to die that night;" and
added " I am not at all afraid, I am willing to go this night, if it be
the will of God. Death is what I long for." He sometimes ex-
pressed himself as "having nothing to do but to die : and being
willing to go that minute, if it was the will of God." He some-
times used that expression, "O why is his chariot so long in com-
ing !"

He seemed to have remarkable exercises of resignation to the
will of God. He once told me that " he had longed for the out-
pouring of the Holy Spirit of God, and the glorious times of the
church, and hoped they were coming: and should have been wil-
ling to have lived to promote religion at that time, if that had been
the will of God." " But," said he, "1 am willing it should be as
it is : I would not have the choice to make for myself for ten thou-
sand worlds.*"

He several times spoke of the different kinds of willingness to
die : and mentioned it as an ignoble, mean kind of willingness to
die, to be willing only to get rid of pain ; or to go to heaven only to
get honour and advancement there. His own longings for death
seemed to be quite of a different kind, and for nobler ends. When
he was first taken with one of the last and most fatal symptoms in
a consumption, he said, "O now the glorious time is coming ! I
have longed to serve God perfectly ; and God will gratify these
desires." At one time and another, in the latter part of his illness,
he uttered these expressions. "My heaven is, to please God, to glo-
rify him, to give all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory :
That is the heaven I long for; that is my religion; that is my happi-
ness ; and always was, ever since I supposed I had any true reli-
gion. All those who are of that religion, shall meet me in heav-
en.''— " 1 do not go to heaven to be advanced ; but to give hon-

* He writes thus in his Diary : Jug. 23, 1747. "la the week past, I had di-
vers turns of inward refreshing. Though my body was inexpressibly weak, follow-
ed continually with aguesand fevers, sometimes my soul centered in God as my on-
ly portion; and I felt that I should be forever unhappy if he did not reign. I saw
the sweetness and happiness of being his subject at his disposed. This n;ade all my
difficulties quickly vanish."

EDWARDS' SER3I0K AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 501

our to Cod. It is no matter where 1 shall be stationed in heaven ;
whether 1 have a high or low seat there ; but I go to love, and
please, and glorify God. If I had a thousand souls, if they were
worth any thing, 1 would give them all to God: But I have noth-
ing to give, when all is done. It is impossible for any rational
creature to be happy without acting all for God : God himself
could not make me happy in any other way." — "1 long to be in
heaven, praising and glorifying God with the holy angels ; all my
desire is to glorify God." — " My heart goes out to the buryiug-
place, it seems to me a desirable place : But O to glorify God !
That is it ! That is above all !" — " ft is a great comfort to me to
think that I have dor;e a little for God in (he world : It is but a
very small matter ; yet I have done a little ; and I lament it that
I have not done more for him." — " There is nothing in the world
worth living for, but doing good, and finishing God's work ; doing
the work that Christ did. I sec nothing else in the world that can
yield any satisfaction, beside living to God, pleasing him, and do-
ing his whole will. My greatest joy and comfort has been to do
something for promoting the interest of religion, and the souls of
particular persons.*"

* In his diary he writes thus : " Sept 7, 1747. When I was in great distress of
body, my soul desired that God should be glorified. I saw there was no heaven but
this. I could not but speak to the by standers then of the only hapj i • •, viz.
pleasing God. O that Would for ever live to God ! The day I tr.ist is at hand,
the perfect day ! O, the day of deliverance from all sin?"

" Sept. 19. Near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts tarried
thus : How infinitely sweet it is to love God, and be all lor him ! U\ on which it
was suggested to me, 'Yon are not an angel, nor lively and active.' To which my
whole soul immediately replied, ' I as sincerely desire to love and glonlv G
anyangelin heaven.' Upon which it was suggested again, 'But you are filth)
not fit for heaven.' Hereupon instantly appeared the blessed robe? ot Christ s
righteousness, in which I could not but exult and triumph. I viewed the infinite
excellency of God ; and my soul even brok-3 with longings, that God should be glo-
rified. 1 tliought of dignity in heaven : But instantly the though* relui ned, I do not
go to heaven to get honour, but to give all possible glory and prano. O, bow long-
ed that God should be glorified on earth also ! O, I was made for eternity, it Irod
mi °-ht be glorified ! Kor bodily pains I cared not ; though L was then in extremity,
[ never felt easier; I felt willing to glorify God in that stats oi tojhly dulresi. aj
Ion- as he phased I should continue so. The grave appear, re illy raw , and I
lon-ed to lodge my wearv bones in it : But O ! that God might be glorified ! I hia
was the burden of all my cry. O, 1 knew t should be active as an angel in heaven,

and that I should be stripped of my filthy garments ! So that there; ,

But O, to love and praise God more, to please him for ever ! Hv, rnj ;o ,
after and even now pants Mr, while J write. O, that God may be ,U- iu I in the
whole earth ! Lord let thy kingdom come. ( longed tor a spirit o. pre* hing
Scepdand rest on ministers that they might addre , th , eo « ences of u
closeness1 and power. I saw God had the residue of the Spirit ; a ml. m _ ■ on
editshonldbeProuredoutfrom on high. I could no but plead ^fodfornq
dear congregation, that he would preserve it. and not suffer his great name to los<
its gloryln that work ; my soul still longing, that God mi^l be glorifi : I.

502 EDWARDS' SERMON" AT BRAIXERD'S FUNERAL.

After be came to be in so low a sfate, that he ceased to have
the least expectation of recovery, his mind was peculiarly carried
forth with earnest concern for the prosperity of the church of
God on earth : This seemed very manifestly to arise from a
pure disinterested love to Christ, and a desire of his glory. The
prosperity of Zion, was a theme on which he dwelt much, and of
which he spake much : and more and more, the nearer death ap-
proached. He told me when near his end, that " he never, in all
his life, had his mind so led forth in desires and earnest prayers
for the flourishing of Christ's kingdom on the earth, as since, he
was brought so exceedingly low at Boston." He seemed much
to wonder, that there appeared no more of a disposition in min-
isters and people, to prav for the flourishing of religion through
the world. Particularly, he several times expressed his wonder
that there appeared no more forwardness to comply with the
proposal lately made from Scotland, for united extraordinary
prayer among God's people, and for the coming of Christ's king-
dom ; and sent it as his dying advice to his own congregation, that
thev should practice agreeably to that proposal.

But a little before his death, he said to me, as I came into the
room, " My thoughts have been employed on the old dear theme,
the prosperity of God's church on earth. As I waked out of
sleep, 1 was led to cry for the pouring out of God's Spirit, and the
advancement of Christ's kingdom, for which the dear Redeemer
did and suffered so much. It is that, especially, which makes me
long for it."

But a few days before his death, he desired us to sing a psalm,
which related to the prosperity of Zion ; which he signified enga-
ged his thoughts and desires above all things. At his desire we
sung part of the 102u psalm. When we had done, though he
was then so low that he could scarcely speak ; he so exerted
himself, that he made a prayer, very audibly, in which, beside
praying for those present, and for his own congregation, he ear-
nestly prayed for the reviving and flourishing of religion in the
world.

His own congregation especially, lay much on his heart. He
often spoke of them ; and commonly when he did so, it was with
peculiar tenderness ; so that his speech was interrupted and
drowned with weeping.

Thus I have endeavoured to represent something of the char-
acter and behaviour of that excellent servant of Christ, whose fu-
neral is now to be attended. — Though I have done it very imper-
fectly ; yet 1 have endeavoured to do it faithful!)-, and as in the
presence and fear of God, without flattery ; which surely is to be
abhorred in ministers of the gospel, when speaking " as messen-
gers of the Lord of hosts."

EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL. 503

Such reason have we to be satisfied that the person, of whom I
have been speaking,now he is " absent from the.body," is " present
with the Lord ;" not only so, but also, with him"', now wears a
crown of g!*ry, of distinguished brightness.

How much is there in the consideration of such an example,
and so blessed an end, to excite us, who are yet alive, with the'
greatest diligence and earnestness, to improve the time of life, that
we also may go to be with Christ, when we forsake the body ?
The time is coming, and will soon come, we know not how soon,
when we must eternally take leave of all things here below, to en-
ter on a fixed unalterable state in the eternal world. O, how well
it is worth the while to labour and suffer, and deny ourselves, to
lay up in store a good foundation of support and supply, against
that time ! How much is such a peace as we have heard of,
worth at such a time .? How dismal would it be, to be in such
circumstances, under the outward distresses of a consuming, dis-
solving frame, and looking death in the face from day to day, w.th
hearts uncleansed, and sin unpardoned, under a dreadful load of
guilt and divine wrath, having much sorrow and wrath in our sick-
ness, and nothing to comfort and support our minds, nothing be-
fore us but a speedy appearance before the judgment-seat of an
almighty, infinitely holy, and angry God, and an endless eternity
in suffering his wrath without pity or mercy ! The person of
whom we have been speaking, had a great sense of this. He
said, not long before his death, " It is sweet to me to think of
eternity : The endlessness of it makes it sweet. But, Oh, what
shall I say to the eternity of the wicked ! — I cannot mention it,
nor think of it ! — The thought is too dreadful !" At another
time, speaking of an heart devoted to God and his glory, he said,
" O, of what importance is it, to have such a frame of mind, such
an heart as this, when we come to die! It is this now that gives
me peace."

How much is there, in particular, in the things which have been
observed of this eminent minister of Christ, to excite us. who are
called to the same great work of the gospel-ministry, to earnest
care and endeavours, that we may be in like manner faithful in
our work ; that we may be filled with the same spirit, animated
with the same pure and fervent flame of love to God, and the
same earnest concern to advance the kingdom and glory of our
Lord and Master, and the prosperity of Zion ? How lovely did
these principles render him in his life ; and how blessed in his
end 9 — The time will soon come, when we also, must leave our
earthly tabernacles, and go to our Lord, who sent us to labour in
his harvest, to render an account of ourselves to him. O hov.

.504 EDWARDS' SERMON AT BRAINERD'S FUNERAL.

does it concern us so to run as not uncertainly ; so to fight, not as
those that beat the air? Should not what we have heard excite
us to a careful dependence on God for his help and assistance in
our great work, and to be much in seeking the influences of his
Spirit, and success in our labours, by fasting and prayer ; in which
the person of whom I have been speaking abounded ? This
practice he earnestly recommended on his deathbed, from his own
experience of its great benefits to some candidates for the minis-
try who stood by his bedside. He was often speaking of the great
need which ministers have of much of the Spirit of Christ in their
work, and how little good they are like to do without it ; and
how " when ministers were under the special influences of the
Spirit of God, it assisted them to come at the consciences of men,
and, as he expressed it, to handle them with hands : whereas,
without the Spirit of God, said he, whatever reason and oratory
we employ, we do but make use of stumps, instead of hands."

Oh that the things which were seen and heard in this extraor-
dinary person ; his holiness, heavenliness, labour and self-denial in
life ; his so remarkably devoting himself and his all, in heart and
practice, to the glory of God ; and the wonderful frame of mind
manifested, in so stedfast a manner, under the expectation of
death, and under the pains and agonies, which brought it on ; may
excite in us all, both ministers and people, a due sense of the
greatness of the work which we have to do in the world, of the
excellency and amiableness of thorough religion in experience and
practice, of the blessedness of the end of those whose death fin-
ishes such a life, and of the infinite value of their eternal reward,
when " absent from the body and present with the Lord ;" and
effectually stir us up to constant and effectual endeavours that, in
the way of such an holy life, we may at last come to so blessed
an end ! Amen.

CONTENTS.

Page.
Advertisement by the Editor .... 3

Pemberton's Sermon ------ 13

Preface - 29

CHAPTER I.
From his birth to the time when he began to study tor the min-

istry

CHAPTER II.

From about the time when he began the study of Theology to his

T • 54

Licensure -

CHAPTER III.

From his Licensure, till his examination and Commission as a Mis-

70
sionary

CHAPTER IV.

From the time of his examination and Commission as a Missiona-
ry, to his entrance on his Mission among the Indians at Kaunau-
J ... - 83

meek

50t> CONTENTS

CHAPTER V.

Page.

From the commencement of his labours at Kaunaumeek to his or-
dination .-----.-- 95

CHAPTER VI.

From his Ordination to the commencement of his labours atCross-
weeksung 149

CHAPTER VII.

From the commencement of his residence at Crossvveeksuno-, to
the close of the first part of his Journal - 203

CHAPTER VIII.

From the close of the first part of his " Journal," Nov. 5, 1745,
to the 19th of June, 1746 ; when the second part of his Journal
terminated. This, and the preceding chapter, occupy one
year — the most interesting year of Brainerd's Life - 254

CHAPTER IX.

General Remarks on the preceding Narrative of a work of grace
at Crpssweeksung. I. On the Doctrines preached to the In-
dians. II. On the Moral Effects of preaching Christ crucified.

III. On the Continiigjpe, Renewal and Quickness of the Work.

IV. On the little appearance of False Religion - - 321

CONTENTS.

Page.
CHAPTER X.

General Remarks on the Work of Grace at Crossweeksung con-
tinued— Introduction — Method of Learning the Indian Lan-
guage— Method of Instructing the Indians — Difficulties in the
way in converting them to Christianity — Attestations of neigh-
bouring Ministers, Elders, and Deacons to the display of Divine
grace at Crossweeksung ...... j,-, .,

CHAPTER XI.

From the close of his Journal, June 19, 1746, to the termination
of his Missionary Labours, March 20, 1747 - - .;>;:

CHAPTER XII.
From the termination of his Missionary Labours to his Death 39 i

CHAPTER XIII.

Reflections on the preceding Memoirs - - - - j.;j

^uneral Sermon - -- - - . . - . 473

JUN 1935

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Full text of "Memoirs of the Rev. David Brainerd; missionary to the Indians on the borders of New-York, New-Jersey, and Pennsylvania: chiefly taken from his own diary"

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