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THE  SHAKESPEARE  LIBRARY. 
GENERAL  EDITOR  PROFESSOR 
I.  GOLLANCZ,  LITT.D. 


THE    MEN^CHMI 


MENAECMI. 


f  Apleafant  arid  fins  (3 

ceited  Gom£die,taken  but:  of  the  moftex* 
ccllcnt  wittie  Poet  fUtttw 


\  tur pofely from  out  tlae  re>?,  as 
Written  in  Engtkh,  by  W.  VV. 


LONDON 


rinted  by  Tho. 

and  are  to  be  fold  by  Williani 
{hop  in  Gratiousftreete 

•»  5  9  5. 


THE  MENAECHMI  :  THE 
ORIGINAL  OF  SHAKE 
SPEARE'S  "COMEDY  OF 
ERRORS":  THE  LATIN 
TEXT  TOGETHER  WITH 
THE  ELIZABETHAN 
TRANSLATION:  EDITED 
BY  W.  H.  D.  ROUSE, 

LlTT.D. 


CHATTO  &  W1NDUS,  PUBLISHERS 
LONDON  MDCCCCXII 


PR 


A II  rights  reserved 


INTRODUCTION 
Sources  of  the  Menaechmi.    The  Latin^  play  was  >. 

taken  from  a  Greek  original,  as  the  custom  was^and  as  we   '• 
are  told 'in  the  prologue.     Nothing  |s  l^pown  of  thig  original. 

Because  the  Menaechmi  came  from  Sicily,  Epicharmus  has 
been  guessed  as  the  author  ;  but  there  is  no  ground  for  this, 
since  the  art  of  Epicharmus  seems  to  have  been  nearer  to 
buffoonery  than  to  comedy,  and  this  play  breathes  the  very 
air  of  the  New  Comedy,  what  the  profogue  says  about  the 
Sicilissare  of  his  author,  is  shown  by  the  context  to  refer  to 
the  scene,  not  the  dialect.  The  title  AiSv^oi,  or  AtSv/xat, 
"  Twins,"  is  known  amongst  the  plays  of  Alexis,  Anaxandrides, 
Antiphanes,  Aristophon,  Euphron,  Menander,  and  Xenarchus. 
An  attempt  has  been  made  to  show  that  Poseidippos  (who  also 
wrote  a  Ai'Sv/Aoi)  was  the  author,  because  Cylindrus  here  is 
Erotium's  slave  or  servant,  and  Athenaeus  says  that  Posei 
dippos  alone  brings  in  a  slave  as  cook.  This  is  probably  not 
true,  and  if  it  were,  it  is  not  certain  that  Cylindrus  here  is  a 
slave.  It  remains  then  to  say  that  any  of  the  poets  above 
named  may  have  been  the  author,  or  some  one  else. 


x  INTRODUCTION 

Translations.  The  Mentchmi  was  acted  in  Italian  at 
Ferrara,  A.D.  1486  (Ruth,  Gcsch.  der  it.  Pocsie*  ii.  n$)» 
and  again  in  1501  apparently  at  Milan  (Burchardt,  Cultur 
der  Ren.,  319).  It  was  also  drawn  upon  by  Cardinal 
Bernard  Dovitius  for  his  Calandria,  and  by  Cecchi  for  his 
Moglie.  The  plays  of  J.  G.  Trissino,  /  Simillimi  (Venice,. 
1547),  and  of  Agnolo  Firenzuola,  /  Lucidi  (Florence, 
1549),  were  also  founded  upon  it.  The  Spaniard  Juan  de 
Timoned a  published  a  version  in  1559.  Other  adaptations 
exist  in  French  and  German,  before  Shakespeare.  After  the 
time  of  Shakespeare  we  have  Rotrou's  Les  Menechmes 
acted  in  1632  and  Regnard's  in  1705,  Boursault's  Let 
Menteurs  qui  ne  mentent  pas,  Cailhava's  Les  Menechmes  greet,. 
and  Goldoni's  I  Due  Gemelli  Veneziani.  Further  information 
may  be  got  in  Dunlop's  History  of  Roman  Literature,  185  fF., 
TeufTel's  Hist.,  i.  137,  and  Ward's  English  Dramatic 
Literature,  i.  373,  with  the  prefaces  of  Wagner  and  Ussing  ta 
their  editions  of  the  Latin  play,  and  that  of  Prof.  Gollancz 
to  the  Comedy  of  Errors  (Temple  Shakespeare)  •  cp.  also 
Menechmi  und  Amphitruo  im  englischen  drama  bis  zur  1661, 
by  Karl  Roeder  (Leipzig,  1904). 

In  English.  The  episode  of  Jack  Juggler  (1563)  is 
probably  the  first  representation  in  English  of  the  favourite 
"farce  of  mistaken  identity."  The  oldest  English  translation, 
which  is  here  reprinted,  was  by  William  Warner,  and  pub- 


INTRODUCTION  xi 

lished  in  1 595  ;  he  tells  us,  however,  that  it  had  circulated  in 
MS.  before.     Shakespeare  may  have  seen  it ;  but  on  the  other 
hand,  as  the  Comedy  of  Errors  may  be  fairly  dated  1589-91, 
Warner  may  have  seen  Shakespeare.    The  only  verbal  echo  is 
found  in  the  Comedy  of  Errors,  ii.  1.  I  oo,  where  Adriana  says 
"  poor  I    am  but  his    stale " ;    in  our  translation  the  Wife 
says  "  He  makes  me  a  stale  and  a  laughing-stock  to  all  the/ 
world." 
Comparison  of  the  Latin  with  the  Translation. 

Warner's  translation  is  largely  a  free  paraphrase  ;  he  fre 
quently  compresses  the  original,  omitting  lines  or  whole 
speeches,  or  giving  a  pithy  summary  of  the  cantica  or  lyric 
parts  of  the  Latin.  Occasionally  a  short  speech  has  been 
interjected  with  good  effect :  instances  will  be  pointed  out  in  the 
notes.  It  is  clear  that  Warner  wrote  with  an  eye  on  the 
stage,  and  his  brisk  interchange  has  often  the  advantage  over 
Plautus. 

Comparison  of  the  Latin  with  Shakespeare. 

Shakespeare  has  made  the  play  far  more  complex  by  the 
addition  of  new  characters,  jEgeon,  Balthazar,  Angelo,  the 
Abbess,  Luciana,  and  especially  the  second  Dromio.  He  has 
also  given  a  touch  of  suspense  and  pathos  to  the  play  by  the 
episode  of  uEgeon,  his  plain  unvarnished  tale,  and  the  risk  of 
death.  This  is  one  of  his  characteristic  tqucbcff  the  comedy 
which  is  almost  a  tragedy,  of  which  Much  Ado  About  Nothing 


xii  INTRODUCTION 

is  one  example,  and  the  Merchant  of  Venice  another :  the 
last,  indeed,  really  includes  a  tragedy,  whether  Shakespeare 
felt  it  or  not.  But  the  great  triumph  of  the  Comedy  of  Error? 
is  the  creation  of  the  two  Dromios.  This  can  hardly  be  said 
to  make  the  plot  more  unlikely.  The  plot  anyhow  is  im 
possible  ;  and  if  for  fun  we  allow  the  convention  of  two  twins 
exactly  alike  in  person  and  dress,  let  us  by  all  means  allow  a 
second  pair,  and  make  our  fun  threefold.  The  existence  of 
the  twin  Dromios  makes  it  possible  to  begin  the  confusion 
early,  and  to  keep  it  up  with  continual  variations  as  long  as 
the  play  lasts.  In  the  Latin  there  is  no  confusion  before 
II.  ii.,  when  Cylindrus  meets  Menaechmus  Traveller  and 
his  man ;  Erotium  meets  them  in  the  next  scene,  and  in  the 
third  act  Peniculus  and  the  maid  are  confronted  with  them. 
The  fourth  act  works  off  the  result  of  this  confusion  on 
Menaechmus  Citizen,  and  in  V.  i.-iii.  the  Traveller  meets 
|  the  wife  and  the  father-in-law  of  the  Citizen.  The  Citizen 
(then  comes  in  for  the  effects  of  these  meetings,  and  finally 
:the  twins  meet  in  the  last  scene. 

Shakespeare,  however,  is  able  to  begin  the  fun  earlier. 
His  scenes,  counted  as  the  Latin,  are  three  in  Act  I.,  five 
in  Act  II.,  five  in  Act  III.,  seventeen  in  Act  IV.,  and 
eight  in  Act  V.  In  the  third  of  these  (I.  ii.)  he  brings  in 
the  first  confusion,  when  Antipholus  the  Traveller  (if  I  may 
use  the^same  title)  meets  Dromio  the  Citizen's  man.  After 


INTRODUCTION  xiii 

an  interval,  while  this  begins  to  work  on  the  Citizen,  the 
same  two  meet  again,  and  are  next  confronted  with  the 
Citizen's  wife  and  her  sister.— The  third  act  opens  with  a 
scene  in  which  recognition  is  near,  Antipholus  the  Citizen 
and  his  Dromio  trying  to  get  into  their  own  house,  where 
the  two  doubles  already  are.  Then  comes  a  meeting  of  the 
sister  with  the  two  Travellers,  which  makes  the  confusion 
worse.  The  first  scene  of  IV.  is  made  brisk  by  a  confusion 
of  the  two  Dromios,  who  enter  one  after  the  other  to  Anti 
pholus  the  Citizen.  In  the  following  scenes  we  have  further 
meetings  between  the  Travellers  and  Adriana,  Luciana, 
and  the  Courtezan,  and  between  the  Citizens  and  the  same, 
the  puzzlement  increasing  when  one  pair  goes  out  and  the 
other  immediately  comes  in.  Finally,  the  plot  works  up  to 
its  climax  and  the  two  pairs  meet :  JEgeon  is  delivered  from 
death,  and  finds  his  wife  in  the  Abbess. 

The  complexity  of  Shakespeare's  plot  is  not  realized  until 
the  two  plays  have  been  analyzed.  The  analysis  of  the 
Menachmi  discloses  that  Menaechmus  the  Citizen  does  not 
meet  any  strangers  until  the  last  scene,  when  he  is  confronted 
with  his  double.  Menaechmus  the  Traveller  has  seven  such 
meetings  (counting  each  of  the  important  characters  as  one)  ; 
the  Wife,  the  Father,  and  Messenio  have  two  each ; 
Peniculus,  Erotium,  Cylindrus,  and  the  maid  one  each.  On 
the  other  hand  :  in  Shakespeare  Antipholus  the  Citizen  has 


xiv  INTRODUCTION 

three  such  meetings,  Antipholus  the  Traveller  twelve ; 
Dromio  the  Citizen's  man  has  four,  and  the  other  Dromio 
eleven  (counting  the  house  scene  as  one)  ;  Adriana  the  Wife 
has  seven ;  her  sister  Luciana  eight ;  the  Courtezan  four  ; 
and  Luce  one.  The  proportion  of  Shakespeare  to  Plautus 
is  50  :  17,  or  nearly  three  to  one.  This  was  made  possible 
by  the  invention  of  the  second  Dromio. 


THE   PRINTER   TO   THE    READERS. 

The  writer  hereof,  loving  Readers,  having  diven  of  this  Poet's 
Comedies  Englished,  for  the  use  and  delight  of  his  private  friends, 
who  in  Plautus*  own  words  are  not  able  to  understand  them  ;  I 
have  prevailed  so  far  with  him  as  to  let  this  one  go  farther  abroad, 
for  a  public  recreation  and  delight  to  all  those  that  affect  the 
diverse  sorts  of  books  compiled  In  this  kind,  whereof  (in  my  judge 
ment)  In  harmless  mirth  and  quickness  of  fine  conceit,  the  most  of 
them  come  far  short  of  this.  And  although  I  found  him  very  loath 
and  unwilling  to  hazard  this  to  the  curious  view  of  envious  detrac 
tion,  being,  as  he  tells  me,  neither  so  exactly  written,  as  It  may 
carry  any  name  of  a  Translation,  nor  such  liberty  therein  used,  as 
that  he  would  notoriously  vary  from  the  Pocfs  own  order  ;  yet  slth 
it  is  only  a  matter  of  merriment,  and  the  little  alteration  thereof 
can  breed  no  detriment  of  importance,  I  have  over-ruled  him  so 
far  as  to  let  this  be  offered  to  your  courteous  acceptance,  and  if  you 
shall  applaud  his  little  labour  herein,  I  doubt  not  but  he  will 
endeavour  to  gratify  you  with  some  of  the  rest,  better  laboured  and 
more  curiously  polished. 

Farewell. 

::  Where  you  find  this  mark,  the  Poet's  conceit  is  some 
what  altered,  by  occasion  either  of  the  time,  the  country,  or 
the  phrase. 


ARGVMENTVM 

Mercator  Siculus,  quoi  erant  gemini  filii, 
Ei  surrupto  altero  mors  optigit. 
Nomen  surreptici  illi  indit  qui  domist 
Avos  paternus,.facit  Menaechmum  e  Sosicle. 
Et  is  germanum,  postquam  adolevit,  quaeritat 
Circum  omnis  oras.     post  Epidamnum  devenit 
Hie  fuerat  alitus  ille  surrepticius. 
Menaechmum  omnes  civem  credunt  advenam 
Eumque  appellant  meretrix,  uxor  et  socer. 
I  se  cognoscunt  fratres  postremo  invicem. 


THE   ARGUMENT 

*  Two  twinborn  sons,  a  Sicil  merchant  had, 
Menechmus  one,  and  policies  the  other  : 
The  first  his  father  lost  a  little  lad, 
The  Grandsire  named  the  latter  like  his  brother. 
This,  grown  a  man,  long  travel  took  to  seek 
His  brother,  and  to  Epidamnum  came, 
Where  tV  other  dwelt  enricKd,  and  him  so  like, 
That  citizens  there  take  him  for  the  same  : 
Father,  wife,  neighbours,  each  mistaking  either, 
Much  pleasant  error,  ere  they  meet  together. 


B  2 


PERSONAE 

PENICVLVS  PARASITVS 

MENAECHMVS  I  "v 

MENAECHMVS  II  (Sosici.Es)/ADVLESCENTES 

EROTIVM  MEKETRIX 

CYLINDRVS  Cocvs 

MESSENIO  SERVVS 

ANCILLA 

MATRONA 

SENEX 

MEDICVS 

SCAENA  EPIDAMNI 


THE    PERSONS    OF    THE    PLAY 


PENICULUS,  A  PARASITE 

MENECHMUS  CITIZEN  ^    , 

I   YOUNG  MEN 
MENECHMUS  TRAVELLER      J 

EROTIUM,  A  COURTESAN 

CVLINDRUS,  A  COOK 

WIFE  OF  MENECHMUS  CITIZEN 

MAID  TO  EROTIUM 

OLD  MAN,   FATHER  OF  MENECHMUS'  WIFE 

PHYSICIAN 

SLAVES  AND  PORTERS 


A  PLEASANT  AND  FINE  CONCEITED 
COMEDY, 

CALLED 

MENECHMUS, 

TAKEN    OUT    OF    THE    MOST    EXCELLENT 

POET  PLAUTUS 


PROLOGVS 

Salutem  primum  iam  a  principio  propitiam 

mihi  atque  uobis,  spectatores,  nuntio. 

adporto  uobis  Plautum — lingua,  non  manu  : 

quaeso  ut  benignis  accipiatis  auribus. 

nunc  argumentum  accipite  atque  animum  aduortite  5 

quam  potero  in  uerba  conferam  paucissuma. 

atque  hoc  poetae  faciunt  in  comoediis  : 
omnis  res  gestas  esse  Athenis  autumant, 
quo  illud  uobis  graecum  uideatur  magis  ; 
ego  nusquam  dicam  nisi  ubi  factum  dicitur.  TO 

atque  adeo  hoc  argumentum  graecissat,  tamen 
non  atticissat,  uerum  sicilicissitat. 
f  huic  argumento  antelogium  hoc  fuit  f  ; 
nunc  argumentum  uobis  demensum  dabo, 
non  modio  neque  trimodio,  uerum  ipso  horreo  :  1 5 

tantum  ad  narrandum  argumentum  adest  benignitas. 

mercator  quidam  fuit  Syracusis  senex : 
ei  sunt  nati  filii  gemini  duo, 
ita  forma  simili  puerei  uti  mater  sua 

non  internosse  posset  quae  mammam  dabat,  20 

neque  adeo  mater  ipsa  quae  illos  pepererat, 
(ut  quidem  ille  dixit  mihi  qui  pueros  uiderat : 
ego  illos  non  uidi,  ne  quis  uostrum  censeat). 


PROLOGUE 

[BY  AX  LATER  HAND] 

GOOD  health  first  of  all  I  wish  to  us  all  here  present  at  this 
play.  I  bring  you  Plautus,  not  on  the  hand  but  on  the 
tongue :  whom  I  beg  you  to  receive  with  gracious  attention. 
Now  hear  the  plot,  and  give  careful  ear,  which  I  will  set 
forth  as  briefly  as  I  may.  Note  a  habit  of  the  poets  in  their 
comedies  :  they  place  the  scene  of  all  their  events  in  Athens, 
to  make  you  think  it  all  the  more  truly  Greek  :  I  will  never 
j  say  so  whcnit  is  the  fact.  Greek  this  story  is  indeed,  but  not 
^  Attic  ;  it  is  Sicilian.  So  much  by  way  of  preface  to  my  plot ; 
and  now  for  the  plot  itself,  measured  not  by  the  bushel  or  the 
peck  but  by  the  whole  barn :  see  how  generous  is  my  measure 
in  telling  this  tale. 

There  was  a  merchant  at  Syracuse,  an  old  man,  who  had 
two  twin  sons,  boys  so  much  alike  that  the  nurse  who  tostered 
them  could  not  tell  which  was  which,  nay  not  their  own 
mother  who  bore  them :  at  least  so  I  have  been  told  by  one 
who  saw  them.  I  have  not  seen  them  myself,  pray  do  not 

9 


io  FABULA 

postquam  iam  pueri  septuennes  sunt,  pater 

onerauit  nauim  magnam  multis  mercibus  ;  25 

imponit  geminum  alter  urn  in  nauim  pater, 

Tarentum  auexit  secum  ad  mercatum  simul, 

ilium  reliquit  alterum  apud  matrem  domi. 

Tarenti  ludei  forte  erant  quom  illuc  uenit. 

mortales  multi,  ut  ad  ludos,  conuenerant :  30 

puer  aberrauit  inter  homines  a  patre. 

Epidamniensis  quidam  ibi  mercator  fuit, 

is  puerum  tollit  auehitque  Epidamnium. 

pater  eius  autem  postquam  puerum  perdidit, 

animum  despondit  eaque  is  aegritudine  35 

paucis  diebus  post  Tarenti  emortuost. 

postquam  Syracusas  de  ea  re  rediit  nuntius 

ad  auom  puerorum,  puerum  surruptum  alterum 

patremque  pueri  Tarenti  |  esse  emortuom, 

immutat  nomen  auos  hu'i'c  gemino  alteri ;  40 

ita  ilium  dilexit  qui  surruptust  alterum  : 

illius  nomen  indit  illi  qui  domi  est, 

Menaechmo,  idem  quod  alteri  nomen  fuit ; 

et  ipsus  eodem  est  auo'  uocatus  nomine 

(propterea  illius  nomen  memini  facilius,  45 

quia  ilium  clamore  uidi  flagitarier). 

ne  mox  erretis,  iam  nunc  praedico  prius : 

idem  est  ambobus  nomen  geminis  fratribus. 

nunc  in  Epidamnum  pedibus  redeundum  est  mihi, 

ut  hanc  rem  uobis  examussim  disputem.  50 


THE   STORY  n 

think  so.     When  the  boys  were  seven  years  old,  the  father 
freighted  a  large  ship  with  merchandise  ;  one  of  the  twins  he 
took  aboard  and  sailed  away  with  him  to  Sicily  on  trading 
bent  ;  the  other  he  left  at  home  with  the  mother.     When  he 
came  to  Tarentum,  it  happened  that  there  were  games  afoot  : 
a  crowd  of  visitors,  as  usual  when  there  are  games  ;  the  boy 
went  astray  from  his  father  among  the  crowd.     A  merchant 
of  Epidamnum  who  happened  to  be  there,  carried  off  the  boy 
to  Epidamnum.     The  boy  thus  gone,  his  father  lost  heart, 
and  before  many  days  had  past  he  died  of  that  distress  at 
Tarentum.     Now  when  the  news  came  to  the  child's  grand 
father  at  Syracuse,  that  one  of  the  twins  had  been  lost  and 
the  father  was  dead  in  Tarentum,  the  grandfather  changed  the 
name  of  the  other  twin,  and  called  him  by  the  same  name  as 
the  lost  one  ;  so  dearly  did  he  love  the  child  that  was  lost. 
Thus  he  gave  the  lost  one's  name  to  the  one  that  stayed  at 
home,  Menaechmus,  the  same  name  as  the  other  had  :  and  he 
goes  by  the  same  name  as  the  grandfather  (I  remember  his 
name  the  more  easily,  because  I  was  present  when  he  was 
publicly  summoned  by  his  creditors).    _Tprnake  all  clear,  I 


say  once  again,  that  both  the  twins  had  the  same 

Now  I  must  post  it  again  to  Epidamnum,  that  I  may  tell 
you  the  whole  tale  to  a  T.     If  any  of  you  gentlemen  has  any 


i2  FABULA 

si  quis  quid  uestrum  Epidamnum  curari  sibi 

uelit,  audacter  imperato  et  dicito, 

sed  ita  ut  det  unde  curari  id  possit  sibi. 

nam  nisi  qui  argentum  dederit,  nugas  egerit ; 

qui  dederit,  magi'  maiores  nugas  egerit.  55 

uerum  illuc  redeo  unde  abii  atque  uno  asto  in  loco. 

Epidamniensis  ill*  quern  dudum  dixeram, 

geminum  ilium  puerum  qui  surrupuit  alterum, 

ei  liberorum  nisi  diuitiae  nihil  erat: 

•11  •  •  /- 

adoptat  ilium  puerum  surrupticium  oo 

sibi  {ilium  eique  uxorem  dotatam  dedit, 

eumque  heredem  fecit  quom  ipse  obiit  diem. 

nam  rus  ut  ibat  forte,  ut  multum  pluerat, 

ingressus  fluuium  rapidum  ab  urbe  hau  longule, 

rapid  us  raptori  pueri  subduxit  pedes  65 

apstraxitque  hominem  in  maxumam  malam  crucem. 

illi  diuitiae  |  euenerunt  maxumae. 

is  illic  habitat  geminus  surrupticius. 

nunc  ille  geminus,  qui  Syracusis  habet, 

hodie  in  Epidamnum  uenit  cum  seruo  suo  70 

hunc  quaeritatum  geminum  germanum  suom. 

haec  urbs  Epidamnus  est  dum  haec  agitur  fabula : 

quando  alia  agetur  aliud  fiet  oppidum  ; 

sicut  familiae  quoque  solent  mutarier  : 

modo  hie  habitat  leno,  modo  adulescens,  modo  senex,         75 

pauper,  mendicus,  rex,  parasitus,  hariolus 


THE  STORY  13 

commission  for  Epidamnum,  let  him  now  declare  it  boldly,  not 
forgetting  to  provide  the  wherewithal.  Pay  your  money,  or 
you'll  waste  your  pains ;  but  if  you  do  pay,  you'll  waste 
more.  But  I  return  to  the  place  I  came  from,  and  then  I 
stand  again.  The  Epidamnian  of  whom  I  spoke  lately,  the 
man  that  stole  the  child,  had  no  children  but  only  wealth  :  he 
adopts  the  child  for  his  own,  gives  him  a  wife  with  a  dower, 
and  makes  him  his  heir  when  he  died.  As  he  was  going  by 
chance  into  the  country,  after  heavy  rain,  in  fording  a  swift 
river  not  so  very  far  from  the  city  he  was  carried  off  by  the 
stream  as  he  had  carried  off  the  child,  and  there  was  an  end 
of  him.  The  lad  had  all  his  great  fortune,  and  here  he  lives, 
the  stolen  twin.  Now  the  other  twin,  who  lives  in  Syracuse, 
has  come  this  day  to  Epidamnum  with  his  slave,  to  look  for 
this  twin  brother  of  his.  This  is  Epidamnum  city  while  our 
play  goes  on  ;  when  another  play  shall  be  acted  this  stage  will 
be  another  place,  just  as  the  companies  of  actors  often  change  : 
now  we  have  a  pander  living  here,  now  a  young  man,  now] 
an  old,  the  poor,  the  beggar,  the  prince,  the  parasite, 
charlatan. 


an,  now 
site,  the 


ACTVS  I 

SCAENA    I 
P  E  N  I  C  V  I,  V  S  . 

Pe.   luuentus  nomen  fecit  Peniculo  mihi, 
ideo  quia  mensam  quando  edo  detergeo. 
homines  captiuos  qui  catenis  uinciunt 
et  qui  fugitiuis  seruis  indunt  compedis, 

nimi'  stulte  faciunt  mea  quidem  sententia.  5 

nam  homini  misero  si  ad  malum  accedit  malum, 
maior  lubido  est  fugere  et  facere  nequiter. 
nam  se  ex  catenis  eximunt  aliquo  modo. 
turn  compediti  ei  anum  lima  praeterunt 

aut  lapide  excutiunt  clauom.     nugae  sunt  eae.  10 

quern  tu  adseruare  recte  ne  aufugiat  uoles 
esca  atque  potione  uinciri  decet. 
apud  mensam  plenam  homini  rostrum  deliges  ; 
dum  tu  illi  quod  edit  et  quod  potet  praebeas, 
suo  arbitratu  |  adfatim  cottidie,  I  5 

numquam  edepol  fugiet,  tarn  etsi  capital  fecerit, 
facile  adseruabis,  dum  eo  uinclo  uincies. 
ita  istaec  nimi'  lenta  uincla  sunt  escaria : 
quam  magis  extendas  tanto  astringunt  artius. 

'4 


ACT   I 

SCENE  I 

"          "  A.&JA  t^A 
Enter  PENICULUS,  a  Parasite.  •    f^ 

Pen.  Peniculus  was  given  me  for  my  name  when  I  was 
young,  because  like  a  broom  I  swept  all  clean  away,  where- 
soe'er  I  become — namely,  all  the  victuals  which  are  set  before 
me.     Now  in  my  judgement,  men  that  clap  iron  bolts  on  such 
captives  (as  they  would  keep  safe^,  and  tie  those  servants   \_$ 
in  chains,  who  they  think  will  run  away,  they  commit  an 
exceeding  great  folly :    my  reason  is,  these  poor  wretches, 
'enduring  one  misery  upon  another,  never  cease  devising  how 
by  wrenching  asunder  their  gyves,  or  by  some    subtilty  or 
other,  they  may  escape  such  cursed  bands.     If  then  ye   £io\ 
would  keep  a  man  without  all  suspicion  of  running  away  from  \ 
ye,  the  surest  way  is  to  tie  him  with  meat,  drink,  and  ease :    j 
let  him  ever  be  idle,  eat  his  belly  full,  and  carouse  while  his     i 
skin  will  hold,  and  he  shall  never,  I  warrant  ye,  stir  a  foot. 
These  strings  to  tie  one  by  the  teeth,  pass  all  the  bands   [15  •' 
of  iron,  steel,  or  what  metal  soever,  for  the  more  slack  and 
easy  ye  make  them,  the  faster  still  they  tie  the  party  which  is 
in  them.     I  speak  this  upon  experience  of  myself,  who  am 
15 


1 6  AMANTIUM   IRAE 

nara  ego  ad  Menaechmum  hunc  (nunc)  eo,  quo  iam  diu      20 

sum  iudicatus  ;   ultro  eo  ut  me  uinciat. 

nam  illic  homo  homines  non  alit,  uerum  educat 

recreatque  :  null  us  melius  medicinam  facit. 

ita  est  adulescens  ;  ipsus  escae  maxumae, 

Cerialis  cenas  dat,  ita  mensas  exstruit,  25 

tantas  struices  concinnat  patinarias  : 

standumst  in  lecto  si  quid  de  summo  petas. 

sed  mi  interuallum  iam  hos  dies  multos  fuit : 

domi  domitus  sum  usque  cum  careis  meis. 

nam  neque  edo  neque  emo  nisi  quod  est  carissumum.  30 

id  quoque  iam,  cari  qui  instruontur  deserunt. 

nunc  ad  eum  inuiso.     sed  aperitur  ostium. 

Menaechmum  eccum  ipsum  uideo,  progreditur  foras. 

SCAENA    II 

MENAECHMVS  I .         PENICVLVS. 
Men.  Ni  mala,  ni  stulta  sies,  ni  indomita  inposque  animi, 
quod  uiro  esse  odio  uideas,  tute  tibi  odio  habeas, 
praeterhac  si  mihi  tale  post  hunc  diem 
faxis,  faxo  foris  uidua  uisas  patrem. 

nam  quotiens  foras  ire  uolo,  me  retines,  reuocas,  rogitas,        5 
quo  ego  earn,  quam  rem  agam,  quid  negotjjreram, 
quid  petam,  quid  feram,  quid  foris  egerim. 
portitorem  domum  duxi,  ita  onmem  mihi 
rem  necesse  eloqui  est,  quidquid  egi  atque  ago. 


LOVERS'    QUARREL  17 

now  going  for  Menechmus,  there  willingly  to  be  tied  to  his 
good  cheer  :  he  is  commonly  so  exceeding  bountiful  and  [20 
liberal  in  his  fare,  as  no  marvel  though  such  guests  as  myself 
be  drawn  to  his  table,  and  tied  there  in  his  dishes.  Now 
because  I  have  lately  been  a  stranger  there,  I  mean  to  visit 
him  at  dinner :  for  my  stomach  methinks  even  thrusts  me 
into  the  fetters  of  his  dainty  fare.  But  yonder  I  see  his  [25 
door  open,  and  himself  ready  to  come  forth.  \_Stands  aside -.j 

SCENE  II 

Enter  MENECHMUS  \_the  Citizen]  talking  back  to  his 
'wife  'within. 

Men.  Cit.  If  ye  were  not  such  a  brabbling  fool  and  mad-  \ 
brain  scold  as  ye  are,  ye  would  never  thus  cross  your  husband 
in  all  his  actions. — 'Tis  no  matter,  let  her  serve  me  thus 
once  more,  I'll  send  her  home  to  her  dad  with  a  vengeance. 
I  can  never  go  forth  oj  doors,  but  she  asketh  me  whither  [5 
I  go  ?  what  I  do  ?  what  business  ?  what  I  fetch  ?  what  I 

carry  ?     *  as   though    she   were   a    Constable    or    a    Toll- 

c 


1 8  PALLA   SURREPTA 

nimium  ego  te  habui  delicatam  ;  nunc  adeo  ut  facturus  dicam. 

quando  ego  tibi  ancillas,  penum,  1 1 

lanam,  aurum,  uestem,  purpuram  bene  praebeo  nee  quicquam 

eges, 

malo  cauebis  si  sapis,  uirum  opseruare  desines. 
atque  adeo,  ne  me  nequiquam  serues,  ob  earn  industriam       1 4 
hodie  ducam  scortum  ad  cenam  atque  aliquo  condicam  foras. 
Pe.  illic  homo  se  uxori  simulat  male  loqui,  loquitur  mihi ; 
nani  si  foris  cenat,  profecto  me,  haud  uxorem,  ulciscitur. 
Men.  euax  !   iurgio  hercle  tandem  uxorem  abegi  ab  ianua. 
ubi  sunt  amatores  mariti  ?  dona  quid  cessant  mihi 
conferre  omnes  congratulantes  quia  pugnaui  fortiter  ?       20 
hanc  modo  uxori  intus  pall  am  surrupui,  ad  scortum  fero. 
sic  hoc  decet,  dari  facete  uerba  custodi  catae. 
hoc  facinus  pulchrumst,  hoc  probumst,  hoc  lepidumst,  hoc 

factumst  fabre  : 

meo  malo  a  mala  apstuli  hoc,  ad  damnum  deferetur. 
auorti  praedam  ab  hostibus  nostrum  salute  socium.       25 
Pe.  heus  adulescens !   ecqua  in  istac  pars  inest  praeda  mihi  ? 
Men.  perii !   in  insidias  deueni.     Pe.  immo  in  praesidium,  ne 

time. 

Men.  quishomoest?    Pe.  ego  sum.   Men.  o  mea  commoditas, 

o  mea  opportunitas, 

salue.      Pe.    salue.     Men.    quid  agis  ?      Pe.    teneo  dextera 

genium  meum. 

Men.     non    potuisti    magi'    per   tempus    mi    aduenire    quam 

aduenis. 


THE    STOLEN   CLOAK  19 

gatherer.     I  have  pampered  her  too  much  :  she  hath  servants   /<\tfc' 
about  her,  wool,  flax,  and  all  things  necessary  to  busy  her 
withall,  yet  she  watcheth  and  wondereth  whither  I  go.   [10 
Well,  sith  it  is  so,  she  shall  now  have  some  cause  :  I  mean  to 
dine  this  day  abroad  with  a  sweet  friend  of  mine. 

Pen.  [asidi]  Yea,  marry,  now  comes  he  to  the  point  that 
pricks  me  ;  this  last  speech  galls  me  as  much  as  it  would  do 
his  wife.  If  he  dine  not  at  home,  I  am  dressed.  [[15 

Men.  Cit.  We  that  have  loves  abroad  and  wives  at  home, 
are  miserably  hampered,  yet  would  every  man  could  tame  his 
shrew  as  well  as  I  do  mine.  I  have  now  filched  away  a  fine 
riding  cloak  of  my  wife's,  which  I  mean  to  -bestow  upon  one 
that  I  love  better.  Nay,  if  she  be  so  wary  and  watchful  [20 
over  me,  I  count  it  an  alms-deed  to  deceive  her. 

Pen.  [coming  forward^  Come,  what  share  have  I  in  that 
same  ? 

Men.  Cit.  Out,  alas,  I  am  taken  ! 

Pen.  True,  but  by  your  friend.  25 

Men.  Cit.  What,  mine  own  Peniculus  ?  • 

Pen.  Yours  i'faith,  body  and  goods,  if  I  had  any. 

Men.  Cit.   Why,  thou  hast  a  body. 

Pen.  Yea,  but  neither  goods  nor  good  body. 

Men.  Cit.  Thou  couldst  never  come  fitter  in  all  thy  life.    30 

C2 


20  FACINUS   LUCULENTUM 

Pe.  ita  ego  soleo  :  commoditatis  omnis  articulos  scio.          3 1 
Men.  uin  tu  facinus  luculentum  inspicere  ?    Pe.   quis  id  coxit 

coquos  ? 

iam  sciam,  si  quid  titubatumst,  ubi  reliquias  uidero. 
Men.  die  mi,  enumquam  tu  uidisti  tabulam  pictam  in  pariete 
ubi  aquila  Catameitum  raperet  aut  ubi  Venus  Adoneum  ?     35 
Pe.  saepe.     sed  quid  istae  picturae  ad  me  attinent  ?     Men. 

age  me  aspice. 

ecquid  adsimulo  simiiiter  ?     Pe.  qui  istic  est  ornatus  tu£s  ? 
Men.  die   hominem  lepidissumum  esse  me.      Pe.  ubi  essuri 

sumus  ? 

Men.  die   modo   hoc  quod  ego   te  iubeo.     Pe.  dico  :  homo 

lepidissume. 

Men.  ecquid  audes  de  tuo  istuc  addere  ?     Pe.    atque     [40 

hilarissume. 

Men.  perge,  (perge) — Pe.  non  pergo  hercle  nisi  scio  qua  gratia 
litigium  tibi  est  cum  uxore,  eo  mi  aps  te  caueo  cautius. 
—  Men.  clam    uxorem    ubi    sepulcrum    habeamus    atque    hunc 

comburamus  diem. 

Pe.  age  sane   igitur,   quando  aequom  oras,   quam   mox   in- 

cendo  rogum  ? 

dies  quidem  iam  ad  umbilicura  est  dimidiatus  mortuos.         45 
Men.  te  morare  mihi   quom   obloquere.     Pe.  oculum  ecfo- 

dito  per  solum 

mihi,  Menaechme,  si  ullum  uerbuni  faxo  nisi  quod  iusseris\ 
Men.  concede  hue  a  foribus,     '  Pe.  fiat.      Men.  etiam    cop- 
cede  hue.      Pe.  licet 


A   NOTABLE    PRANK  21 

Pen.  Tush,  I  ever  do  so  to  my  friends  ;  I  know  how  to 
come  always  in  the  nick.  Where  dine  ye  to-day  ? 

Men.  Cit.  I'll  tell  thee  of  a  notable  prank. 

Pen.  What,  did  the  cook  mar  your  meat  in  the  dressing  ? 
Would  I  might  see  the  reversion.  35 

Men.  Cit.  Tell  me,  didst  thou  see  a  picture,  how  Jupiter's 
eagle  snatched  away  Ganymede,  or  how  Venus  stole  away 
Adonis  ? 

Pen.   Often,  but  what  care  I  for  shadows  ?  I- want  substance. 

Men.  Cit.  Look  thee  here:  look  not  I  like  such  a  picture?  40 

Pen.  O  ho,  what  cloak  have  ye  got  here  I 

Men.  Cit.  Prithee,  say  I  am  now_a_brave  fellow. 

Pen.   But  nearly  ye,  where  shall  we  dine  ?      / 

Men.  Cit.   Tusb,  say  as  I  bid  thee,  man. 

Pen.   Out  of  doujjt  ye  are  a,fijig,rnan.  '  45 

Men.  Cit.  What !   canst  add  nothing  of  thine  own  ? 

Pen.  Yejire  a  most  pleasant  ^gentleman.  .-' 

Men.  Cit.  On  yet: 

• — fen.  Nay,  not  a  word  more,  unless  ye  tell  me  how  you 
and  your  wife  be  fallen  out.  50 

Men.  Cit.  Nay,   I    have    a    greater    secret    than    that    to\ 
impart  to  thee. 

Pen.  Say  your  mind. 

Men.  Cit.  Come  farther  this  way  from  my  house. 

Pen.   So,  let  me  hear.  55 

Men.  Cit.  Nay,  farther  yet ! 

Pen    I  warrant  ye,  man. 


22  PRANDIUM 

Men.  etiam  nunc  concede  audacter  ab  leonino  cauo.  49 

PC.  e,u  edepol !  ne  tu,  ut  ego  opinor,  esses  agitator  probus. 
Men.  quSdum?     Pe.  ne  te  uxor  sequatur respectas  identidem. 
/-^.r^     Men.  sed  quid  ais  ?     Pe.  egone  ?  id    enim    quod  tu  uis,  id 

i-$Ss    '> r      ttf  -.  .  i  d^**i 

aio  atque  id  nego. 

Men.  ecquid  tu  de  odore  possis,  si  quid  forte  olfeceris,^  xy 
facere  coniecturam     #     ?  *  ^^y^WQ 

(Pe.)  *  captum__sit  collegium.'    *          f       55      "j 

Men.  agedum,  odor  are  hanc  quam  ego  habeo  pallam.     quid 

olet  ?  apstines  ? 

Pe.  summum  olefactare  oportet  uestimentum  muliebre, 
nam  ex  istoc  loco  spurcatur  nasum  odore  inlutili. 
Men.  olfacta    igitur    hinc,     Penicule.     lepide     ut    fastidis ! 

Pe.  decet. 
Men.  quid  igitur  ?  quid  olet  ?  responde.     Pe.  furtum,     [60 

scortum,  prandium.  - 

tibi  fuani    (<^ } >i^^<J^7Y^J •<w*  '  * 

Men.  elocutu'sTnam"     *  *  *  (prandium.} 

mine  ad  amicam  deferetur  hanc  meretricem  Erotium. 
mihi,  tibi  atque  illi  iubebo  iam  apparari  prandium.     PC.  eu  ! 
Men.  inde  usque  ad  diurnam  stellam  crastinam  potabimus.     65 
A   [eu!]      '    ^ 

expedite  fabulatu^s.^  iam  fores  ferio  ?     Men.  feri. 
uel  mane  etiam.     Pe.  mille  passum  commoratu's  cantharum. 
Men.  placide  pulta.     Pe.  metuis,    credo,    ne    fores  Samiae 

sient.   *' 


O   SWEET   WORD  !  23 

*Men.  Cit.  Nay,  yet  farther  ! 

Pen.  'Tis  pity  ye  were  not  made  a  waterman  to  row  in 
a  wherry.  60 

Men.  Cit.  Why  ? 

Pen.  Because  ye  go  one  way,  and  look  jajiotherjtill,  lest 
your  wife  should  follow  ye.  But  what's  the  matter  ?  Is't 
not  almost  dinner  time  ) 

Men.  Cit.   See'st  thoii  this  cloak  ?  65 

Pen.   Not  yet.     Well,  what  of  it  ? 

Men.  Cit.  This  same  I  mean  to  give  to  Erotium. 

Pen.  That's  well,  but  what  of  all  this  ? 

Men.  Cit.  There  I  mean  to  have  a  delicious  dinner  pre 
pared  for  her  and  me.  70 

Pen.  And  me  ? 

Men.  Cit.  And  thee. 

Pen.  O  sweet  word !  What,  shall  I  knock  presently  at 
her  door  ? 

Men.  Cit>  Ay,  knock,    But  stay  too,  Peniculus,  let's  [75 


24  EROTIUM 

Men.  mane,  mane  opsecro   hercle  :  eapse  eccam  exit,     oh  ! 

solem  uides 
satin  ut  occaecatust  prae  huius  corporis  candoribus  ?  7  i 


SCAENA    III 

EROTIVM.         PENICVLVS.         MENAECHMVS!. 

Er.  Am'me  mi,   Menaechme,    salue.     Pe.   quid  ego  ?     Er. 

extra  numerum  es  mihi. 

Pe.  idem  istuc  aliis  adscriptiuis  fieri  ad  legionem  solet.        -^ 
Men.  ego  istic  mihi  hodie  apparari  iussi  apud  te-proelium. 
Er.  hodie  id  fiet.     Men.  in  eo   uterque  proelio  potabimus  ; 

,.  .       .  .  ^Jk^Vr>tVWi-» 

uter  ibi  melior  beilator  ent  muentus  cantharo,  5 

>»«c^U><,-    K«    C  Q  f\ 

tua  est  legio  :  adiudicato  cum  utro— 4ianc  noctem  sies. 
ut  ego  uxorem,  mea  uoluptas,  ubi  te  aspicio,  odi  male  ! 
Er.  interim  nequis  quin  eiius  aliquid  indutus  sies. 
quid  hoc  est  ?     Men.    induuiae  tuae    atque    uxoris    exuuiae, 

rosa. 

Er.  superas  facile  ut  superior  sis  mihi  quam  quisquam      [10 

qui  impetrant. 

Pe.  meretrix    tantisper    blanditur,    dum   illud    quod    rapiat 

uidet; 

nam  si  amabas,  iam  oportebat  nassum  abreptum  mordicus. 
Men.  sustine  hoc,  Penicule  :  exuuias  facere  quas  uoui  uolo. 
Pe.  cedo  ;  sed  opsecro  hercle,  salta  sic  cum  palla  postea. 
Men.  ego  saltabo?  sanus  hercle  non  es.      Pe.   egone  an     [15 

tu  magis  ? 


THE   SWEETHEART  25 

not  be  too  rash.     Oh,  see,   she   is  in   good    time    coming 
forth. 

Pen.  Ah,  he  now  looks  against  the  sun,  how  her  beams 
dazzle  his  eyes  ! 

SCENE  III 
Enter  EROTIUM. 

Erot.  What,  mine  own  Menechmus!    Welcome,  sweetheart. 

Pen.  And  what  am  I,  welcome  too  ? 

Erot.  You,  sir  ?  ye  are  out  of  the  number  of  my  welcome 
guests. 
*Pen.   I  am  like  a  voluntary  soldier,  out  of  pay.  5 

Men.  Cit.  Erotium,  I  have  determined  that  here  shall 
be  pitched  a  field  this  day;  we  mean  to  drink  for  the 
heavens  :  and  which  of  us  performs  the  bravest  service  at 
his  weapon  the  wine  bowl,  yourself  as  captain  shall  pay  him 
his  wages  according  to  his  deserts.  10 

Erot.  Agreed. 

Pen.  I  would  we  had  the  weapons,  for  my  valour  pricks 
me  to  the  battle. 

Men.  Cit.  Shall  I  tell  thee,  sweet  mouse  ?  I  never  look 
upon  thee,  but  I  am  quite  out  of  love  with  my  wife.  1 5 

Erot.  Yet  ye  cannot  choose,  but  ye  must  still  wear  some 
thing  of  hers  :  what's  this  same  ? 

Men.  Cit.  This  ?  such  a  spoil,  sweetheart,  as  I  took  from 
her  to  put  on  thee. 

Erot.  Mine  own  Menechmus,  well  worthy  to  be  my  dear, 
of  all  dearest.  2 1 


26  EXUVIAE 

si  non  saltas,  exue  igitur.     Men.  nimio  ego  hanc  periculo 
surrupui   hodie.     meo    quidem   animo    ab    Hippolyta    sub- 

cingulum  baud 

Hercules  aeque  magno  umquam  apstulit  periculo. 
cape  tibi  hanc,  quando  una  uiuis  meis  morigera  moribus. 
Er.  hoc  animo  decet  animates  esse  amatores  probos.  20 

Pe.  qui  quidem  ad  mendicitatem  se  properent  detrudere. 
Men.  quattuor  minis  ego  emi  istanc  anno  uxori  meae. 
Pe.  quattuor  minae  perierunt  plane,  ut  ratio  redditur. 
Men.  scin   quid   uolo   ego  te   accurare  ?     Er.  scio,  curabo 

quae  uoles. 

Men.  iube  igitur  tribu'  nobis  apud  te  prandium  accurarier   25 
atque  aliquid  scitamentorum  de  foro  opsonarier, 
glandionidam  suillam,  laridum  pernonidam, 
aut  sincipitamenta  porcina  aut  aliquid  ad  eum  modum, 
madida  quae  mi  adposita  in  mensam  miluinam  suggerant ; 
atque  actutum.    Er.  licet  ecastor.     Men.  nos  prodimus    [30 

ad  forum. 

iam  hie  nos  erimus :  dum  coquetur,  interim  potabimus. 
Er.  quando  uis  ueni,  parata  res  erit.     Men.   propera  modo. 
sequere  tu. — Pe.  ego  hercle  uero  te  et  seruabo  et  te  sequar, 

neque  hodie  ut  te  perdam  meream  deorum  diuitias  mihi 

Er.  euocate  intus  Culindrum  mihi  coquom  actutum  foras.    35 


THE    SPOILS  27 

Pen.  [aside]  Now  she  shows  herself  in  her  likeness,  when 
she  finds  him  in  the  giving  vein,  she  draws  close  to  him. 

Men.  Cit.  I  think  Hercules  got  not  the  garter  from 
Hippolyta  so  hardly,  as  I  got  this  from  my  wife.  Take 
this,  and  with  the  same,  take  my  heart.  26 

Pen.  Thus  they  must  do  that  are  right  lovers  ;  especially 
if  they  mean  to  [be]  beggars  with  any  speed. 

Men.  Cit.  I  bought  this  same  of  late  for  my  wife;  it  stood 
me,  I  think,  in  some  ten  pound.  30 

Pen.  There's  ten  pound  bestowed  very  thriftily. 

Men.  Cit.   But  know  ye  what  I  would  have  ye  do  ? 

Erot.  It  shall  be  done  ;   your  dinner  shall  be  ready. 

*Men.    Cit.    Let    a   good    dinner   be   made    for  us  three. 

Hark    ye,    some  oysters,    a    mary-bone    pie  or  two,  some 

artichoks,   and  potato  roots ;  let  our  other  dishes  be  as  you 

please.  3  7 

Erot.  You  shall,  Sir. 

Men.  Cit.  I  have  a  little  business  in  this  city  ;  by  that 
time  dinner  will  be  prepared.  Farewell  till  then,  sweet 
Erotium  :  Come,  Peniculus.  41 

Pen.  Nay,  I  mean  to  follow  ye :  I  will  sooner  lese  my 
life  than  sight  of  you  till  this  dinner  be  done. 

Exeunt  [Pen.  and  Men.  Cit.] 

Erot.  Who's  there  ?     Call  me  Cylindrus  the  cook  hither. 


28  CYLINDRUS   COQUOS 

SCAENA  IV 
EROTIVM.          CYLINDRVS. 

Er.  Sportulam    cape   atque   argentum.     eccos  tris   nunimos 

habes. 

Cy.  habeo.      Er.  abi   atque    opsonium    adfer ;    tribu'    uide 

quod  sit  satis  : 

neque  defiat  neque  supersit.      Cy.  quoiusmodi   hie   homines 

erunt  ? 

Er.  ego    et   Menaechmus  et  parasitus   eiius.      Cy.  iani   isti 

sunt  decem  ; 

nam  parasitus  octo  |  hominum  munus  facile  fungitur.  5 

Er.  elocuta  sum  conuiuas,  ceterum  cura.      Cy.  licet, 
cocta  sunt,   iube  ire  accubitum.     Er.    redi  cito.      Cy.  iam 

ego  hie  ero. — 

ACTVS    II 

SCAENA  I 
MENAECHMVS  II.          MESSENIO. 

Men.  Voluptas  nullast  nauitis,  Messenio, 

maior  meo  animo  quam  quom  ex  alto  procul 

terram  conspiciunt.      Mes.  maior,  non  dicam  dolo, 

quasi  adueniens  terram  uideas  quae  fuerit  tua. 

sed  quaesso,  quamobrem  nunc  Epidamnum  uenimus  ?  5 

an  quasi  mare  omnis  circumimus  insulas  ? 


ROLLING-PIN   THE   COOK  29 

SCENE  IV. 

\_Enter  Cylindrus.]  Cylindrus,  take  this  hand-basket,  and 
here,  there's  ten  shillings,  is  there  not  ? 

Cyl.  'Tis  so,  mistress. 

Erot.  Buy  me  of  all  the  daintiest  meats  ye  can  get ;  ye 
know  what  I  mean :  so  as  three  may  dine  passing  well,  and 
yet  no  more  than  enough.  6 

Cyl.  What  guests  have  ye  to-day,  mistress  ? 

Erot.  Here  will  be  Menechmus  and  his  Parasite,  and 
myself. 

Cyl.  That's  ten  persons  in  all.  10 

Erot.  How  many  ? 

Cyl.  Ten,  for  I  warrant  you  that  Parasite  may  stand  for 
eight  at  his  victuals. 

Erot.  Go,  despatch  as  I  bid  you,  and  look  ye  return  with 
all  speed.  I  5 

Cyl.    I  will  have  all  ready  with  a  trice.  Exeunt. 

ACT    II 

SCENE  I 

Enter  MENECHMUS  SOSICLES    {the   Traveller^  MESSENIO 
his  servant y  and  some  Sailors. 

Men.  Tra.  Surely,  Messenio,  I  think  seafarers  never  take 
so  comfortable  a  joy  in  anything,  as  when  they  have  been  long 
tossed  and  turmoiled  in  the  wide  seas,  they  hap  at  last  to  ken 
land.  4 

Mess.  I'll  be  sworn  I  should  not  be  gladder  to  see  a  whole 
country  of  mine  own,  than  I  have  been  at  such  a  sight.  But 
I  pray,  wherefore  are  we  now  come  .to  Epidamnum  ?  Must  we 
needs  go  to  see  every  town  that  we  hear  of? 


30  ALTER   EGO 

Men.  fratrem  quaesitum  geminum  germanum  meum. 

Mes.  nam  quid  modi  futurum  est  ilium  quaerere  ? 

hie  annus  sextus  est  postquam  ei  rei  operam  damus. 

Histros,  Hispanos,  Massiliensis,  Hilurios,  10 

mare  superum  omne  Graeciamque  exoticam 

orasque  Italicas  omnis,  qua  adgreditur  mare, 

sumu'  circumuecti.     si  acum,  credo,  quaereres 

acum  inuenisses,  sei  appareret,  iam  diu. 

hominem  inter  uiuos  quaeritamus  mortuom  ;  i  5 

nam  inuenissemus  iam  diu,  sei  uiueret. 

Men.  ergo  istuc  quaero  certum  qui  faciat  mihi, 

quei  sese  deicat  scire  eum  esse  emortuom  : 

operam  praeterea  numquam  sumam  quaerere. 

uerum  aliter  uiuos  numquam  desistam  exsequi.  20 

ego  ilium  scio  quam  cordi  sit  carus  meo. 

Mes.  in  scirpo  nodum  quaeris.     quin  nos  hinc  domum 

redimus  nisi  si  historiam  scripturi  sumus  ? 

Men.  dictum  facessas,  datum  edis,  caueas  malo. 

molestus  ne  sis,  non  tuo  hoc  fiet  modo.     Mes.  em  !  25 

illoc  enim  uerbo  esse  me  seruom  scio. 

non  potuit  paucis  plura  plane  proloquei. 

uerum  tamen  nequeo  contineri  quin  loquar. 

audin,  Menaechme  ?  quom  inspicio  marsuppium, 

uiaticati  hercle  admodum  aestiue  sumus.  30 

ne  tu  hercle,  opinor,  nisi  domum  f  euorteris, 

ubi  nihil  habebis,  geminum  dum  quaeris,  gemes. 

nam  ita  est  haec  hominum  natio :   in  Epidamnieis 


THE   SECOND   SELF  31 

Men.  Tra.  Till  I  find  my  brother,  all  towns  are  alike  to 

me  :  I  must  try  in  all  places.  10 

Mess.  Why  then,  let's  even  as  long  as  we  live,  seek  your 

brother  :  six  years  now  have  we  roamed  about  thus,  Istria, 

Hispania,  Massilia,  Illyria,  all  the  upper  sea,  all  high  Greece, 

all  haven  towns  in  Italy.      I  think  if  we  had  sought  a  needle 

all  this  time,  we  must  needs  have  found  it,  had  it  been  above 

ground.     It  cannot  be  that  he  is  alive ;   and  to  seek  a  dead 

man  thus  among  the  living,  what  folly  is  it  !  17 

Men.  Tra.  Yea,  could  I  but  once  find  any  man  that  could 

certainly  inform  me  of  his  death,  I  were  satisfied  ;   otherwise 

I  can  never  desist  seeking.     Little  knowest  thou,  Messenio, 

how  near  my  heart  it  goes.  21 

Mess.  This  is  washing  of  a  blackamoor.     Faith,  let's  go 

home,  unless  ye  mean  we  should  write  a  story  of  our  travel. 

Men.  Tra.  Sirra,  no  more  of  these  saucy  speeches ;  I 
perceive  I  must  teach  ye  how  to  serve  me,  not  to  rule  me.  25 
Mess.  Ay,  so,  now  it  appears  what  it  is  to  be  a  servant. 
Well,  yet  I  must  speak  my  conscience.  Do  ye  hear,  sir  ? 
Faith,  I  must  tell  ye  one  thing,  when  I  look  into  the  lean  estate 
of  your  purse,  and  consider  advisedly  of  your  decaying  stock, 
I  hold  it  very  needful  to  be  drawing  homeward,  lest  in  [30 
looking  [" for^]  your  brother,  we  quite  lose  ourselves.  For  this 
assure  yourself,  this  town  Epidamnum,  is  a  place  of  outrageous  "\ 
expenses,  exceeding  in  all  riot  and  lasciviousness :  and,  I 


32  HINC   ILLAE    LACRIMAE 

uoluptarii  atque  potatores  maxumei  ; 

turn  sycophantae  et  palpatores  plurumei  3  5 

in  urbe  hac  habitant  ;  turn  meretrices  mulieres 
nusquam  perhibentur  blandiores  gentium. 
propterea  huic  urbei  nomen  Epidamno  inditumst, 
quia  nemo  ferme  hue  sine  damno  deuortitur. 
Men.  ego  istuc  cauebo.     cedodum  hue  mihi  marsuppium.  40 
Mes.  quid  eo  ueis  ?     Men.  iam  aps  te  metuo  de  uerbis  tuis. 
Mes.  quid  metuis  ?     Men.  ne  mihi  danmum  in   Epidamno 

duis. 

tu  magis  amator  mulierum  es,  Messenio, 
ego  autem  homo  iracundus,  animi  perditi  ; 
id  utrumque,  argentum  quando  habebo,  cauero,  45 

ne  tu  delinquas  neue  ego  irascar  tibi. 

cape  atque  serua.     me  lubente  feceris. 


SCAENA  II 
CYLINDRVS.          MENAECHMVS  II.          MESSENIO. 

Cy.  Bene  opsonaui  atque  ex  mea  sententia, 

bonum  anteponam  prandium  pransoribus. 

sed  eccum  Menaechmum  uideo.     uae  tergo  meo  ! 

prius  iam  conuiuae  ambulant  ante  ostium 

quam  ego  opsonatu  redeo.     adibo  atque  adloquar. 

Menaechme,  salue.     Men.  di  te  amabunt  quisquis  (es). 

Cy.  quisquis        *        *     *        (s^8)  eS°  s^m  ? 

Men.  non  hercle  uero.      Cy.  ubi  conuiuae  ceteri  ? 


MY    PURSE  33 

hear,  as  full  of  ribalds,  parasites,  drunkards,  catchpoles,  cony- 
catchers,  and  sycophants,  as  it  can  hold.  Then  for  [35 
courtesans,  why  here's  the  currentest  stamp  of  them  in  the 
world.  Ye  must  not  think  here  to  scape  with  as  light  cost 
as  in  other  places.  The  very  name  shews  the  nature,  no  man 
comes  hither  sine  clamno.  39 

Men.  Tra.  Ye  say  very  well  indeed  :  give  me  my  purse 
into  mine  own  keeping,  because  I  will  so  be  the  safer,  sine 
damno. 

Mess.  Why,  sir  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Because  I  fear  you  will  be  busy  among  the 
courtesans,  and  so  be  cozened  of  it :  then  should  I  take  [45 
great  pains  in  belabouring  your  shoulders.  So  to  avoid  both 
these  harms,  I'll  keep  it  myself. 

Mess.  I  pray  do  so,  sir  ;   all  the  better. 

SCENE  II 
Enter  CYLINDRUS. 

*  Cyl.  I  have  tickling  gear  here  i'  faith  for  their  dinners. 
It  grieves  me  to  the  heart  to  think  how  that  cormorant 
knave  Peniculus  must  have  his  share  in  these  dainty  morsels. 
But  what  ?  Is  Menechmus  come  already,  before  I  could  come 
from  the  market  ?  Menechmus,  how  do  ye,  sir  ?  How  haps 
it  ye  come  so  soon  ?  6 

Men.  Tra.  God  a  mercy,  my  good  friend,  dost  thou 
know  me  ? 

Cyl.  Know  ye  ?  no,  not  I.  Where's  mouldychaps  that 
must  dine  with  ye  ?  A  murrain  on  his  manners.  10 


34  QUIS   EST? 

Men.   quos  tu  conuiuas  quaeris  ?    Cy.  parasitum  tuom. 

Men.  meum  parasitum  ?     Cy.   certe  hie  insanust  homo.       10 

Mes.  dixin  tibi  esse  hie  sycophantas  plurumos  ? 


Men.   quern  tu  parasitum  quaeris,  adulescens,  meum  ? 

Cy.  Peniculum.     Mes.  eccum  in  uidulo  saluom  fero. 

Cy.  Menaechme,  numero  hue  aduenis  ad  prandium. 

nunc  opsonatu  redeo.     Men.  responde  mihi,  i  5 

adulescens :  quibus  hie  pretieis  porci  ueneunt 

sacres  sinceri  ?      Cy.  nummeis.     Men.  nummum  a  me  accipe  : 

ivbe  te  piari  de  mea  pecunia. 

nam  equidem  |  insanum  esse  te  certo  scio, 

qui  mihi  molestu's  homirii  ignoto  quisquis  es.  20 

Cy.  Cylindrus  ego  sum  :  non  nosti  nomen  meum  ? 

Men.  sei  tu  Cylindrus  seu  Coriendru's,  perieris. 

ego  te  non  noui  neque  nouisse  adeo  uolo. 

Cy.  est  tibi  Menaechmo  nomen.      Men.  tantum  quod  sciam, 

pro  sano  loqueris  quom  me  appellas  nomine.  2  5 

sed  ubi  nouisti  me  ?      Cy.  ubi  ego  te  nouerim, 

qui  amicam  habes  eram  meam  hanc  Erotium  ? 

Men.  neque  hercle  ego  habeo  neque  te  quis  homo  sis  scio. 

Cy.  non  scis  quis  ego  sim,  qui  tibi  saepissume 

cyathisso  apud  nos,  quando  potas  ?     Mes.  ei  mihi,  30 

quom  nihil  est  qui  illic  homini  dimminuam  caput  ! 

Men.  tun  cyathissare  mihi  soles,  qui  ante  hunc  diem 

Epidamnum  numquam  uidi  neque  ueni  ?      Cy.  negas  ? 

Men.  nego  hercle  uero.      Cy.  non  tu  in  illisce  aedibus 


CROSS    PURPOSES 


35 


Men.  Tra.  Whom  meanest  thou,  good  fellow  ? 

Cyl.  Why  Peniculus'  worship,  that  whorson  lick-trencher, 
your  parasitical  attendant. 

Men.  Tra.  What  Peniculus  ?  what  attendant?  my  attendant? 
Surely  this  fellow  is  mad.  I  5 

Mess.  \_to  Men.  Tra.]  Did  I  not  tell  ye  what  cony-catching 
villains  you  should  find  here  ? 

CyL  Menechmus,  hark  ye,  sir,  ye  come  too  soon  back 
again  to  dinner  ;  I  am  but  returned  from  the  market.  1 9 

Men.  Tra.  Fellow,  here,  thou  shalt  have  money  of  me, 
go  get  the  priest  to  sacrifice  for  thee.  I  know  thou  art  mad, 
else  thou  wouldst  never  use  a  stranger  thus. 

Cyl.  Alas,  sir,  Cylindrus  was  wont  to  be  no  stranger  to 
you.  Know  ye  not  Cylindrus  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Cylindrus,  or  Coliendrus,  or  what  the  devil  thou 
art,  I  know  not,  neither  do  I  care  to  know.  26 

CyL   I  know  you  to  be  Menechmus. 

Men.  Tra.  Thou  shouidst  be  in  thy  wits,  in  that  thou 
namest  me  so  right ;  but  tell  me,  where  hast  thou  known  me  ? 

Cyl.  Where  ?  Even  here,  where  ye  first  fell  in  love  with 
my  mistress  Erotium.  3  i 

Men.  Tra.  I  neither  have  lover,  neither  know  I  who  thou  art. 

Cyl.  Know  ye  not  who  I  am,  who  fills  your  cup  and 
dresses  your  meat  at  our  house  ? 

Mess.    What   a  slave  is  this  !    that  I  had  somewhat  to  \ 
break  the  rascal's  pate  withal.  1 36 

Men.  Tra.  At  your  house,  when  as  I  never  came  in 
Epidamnum  till  this  day  ? 

CyL  Oh,  that's  true !    Do  ye  not  dwell  in  yonder  house  ?   39 

D  2 


36  QUIS  EST  ? 

habitas  ?  Men.  di  illos  homines  qui  illi[c]  habitant  perduint  ! 

Cy.  insanit  hicquidem,  qui  ipse  male  dicit  sibi.  $6 

audin,  Menaechme  ?     Men.  quid  uis  ?      Cy.  si  me  consulas, 

nummum  ilium  quern  mihi  dudum  pollicitu's  dare 

(nam  tu  quidem  hercle  certo  non  sanu's  satis, 

Menaechme,  qui  nunc  ipsus  male  dicas  tibi)  40 

ubeas,  si  sapias,  porculum  adferri  tibi. 

Mes.  eu  hercle  hominem  multum  et  odiosum  mihi ! 

Cy.  solet  iocari  saepe  mecum  illoc  modo. 

quam  uis  ridiculus  est,  ubi  uxor  non  adest. 

quid  ais  tu  ?     quid  ais,  inquam.      satin  hoc  quod  uides        4  5 

tribu*  uobis  opsonatumst,  an  opsono  amplius, 

tibi  et  parasito  et  mulieri  ?     Men.  quas  [tu]  mulieres, 

quos  tu  parasites  loquere  ?     Mes.   quod  te  urget  scelus 

qui  huic  sis  molestus  ?      Cy.   quid  tibi  mecum  est  rei  ? 

ego  te  non  noui :  cum  hoc  quern  noui  fabulor.  5° 

Mes.  non  edepol  tu  homo  sanus  es,  certo  scio. 

Cy.  iam  ergo  haec  madebunt  faxo,  .nil  morabitur. 

proin  tu  ne  quo  abeas  longius  ab  aedibus. 

numquid  uis  ?      Men.   ut  eas  maxumam  malam  crucem. 

Cy.  ire  hercle  meliust  te — interim  atque  accumbere,  55 

dum  ego  haec  appono  ad  Volcani  uiolentiam. 

ibo  intro  et  dicam  te  hie  astare  Erotio, 

ut  te  hinc  abducat  potius  quam  hie  astes  foris. — 

Men.  iamne  abiit  ?   (abiit).     edepol  hau  mendacia 

tua  uerba  experior  esse.     Mes.  opseruato  modo  :  60 

nam  istic  meretricem  credo  habitare  mulierem, 


CROSS   PURPOSES  37 

Men.  Tra.  Foul  shame  light  upon  them  that  dwell  there, 
for  my  part. 

Cyl.  Questionless,  he  is  mad  indeed,  to  curse  himself  thus. 
Hark  ye,  Menechmus  ! 

Men.  Tra.  What  say'st  thou  ?  44 

Cyl-  If  I  may  advise  ye,  ye  shall  bestow  this  money  which 
ye  offered  me,  upon  a  sacrifice  for  yourself;  for  out  of  doubt 
you  are  mad,  that  curse  yourself. 

Mess.  What  a  varlet  art  thou  to  trouble  us  thus  ! 

Cyl.  Tush,  he  will  many  times  jest  with  me  thus.  Yet 
when  his  wife  is  not  by,  'tis  a  ridiculous  jest.  50 

Men.  Tra.  What's  that  ? 

Cyl.  This  I  say.  Think  ye  I  have  brought  meat  enough 
for  three  of  you  ?  If  not,  I'll  fetch  more  for  you  and  your 
wench,  and  Snatchcrust,  your  Parasite. 

Men.  Tra.  What  wenches  ?     What  Parasites  ?  5  5 

Mess.  Villain,  I'll  make  thee  tell  me  what  thou  meanest 
by  all  this  talk. 

CyL  [to  Mess.]  Away,  Jack  Napes ;  I  say  nothing  to  thee, 
for  I  know  thee  not :  I  speak  to  him  that  I  know. 

Men.  Tra.  Out,  drunken  fool,  without  doubt  thou  art  out 
of  thy  wits.  6 1 

Cyl.  That  you  shall  see  by  the  dressing  of  your  meat.  Go, 
go,  ye  were  better  to  go  in  and  find  somewhat  to  do  there, 
whiles  your  dinner  is  making  ready.  I'll  tell  my  mistress  ye 
be  here.  [Exit.~]  65 

Men.  Tra.  Is  he  gone  ?  Messenio,  I  think  upon  thy  words 
already. 

Mess.  Tush,  mark,  I  pray.  I'll  lay  forty  pound  here 
dwells  some  courtesan  to  whom  this  fellow  belongs.  . 


38  EROTIUM 

ut  quidem  ille  insanus  dixit  qui  hinc  abiit  modo. 

Men.  sed  miror  qui  ille  nouerit  nomen  meum. 

Mes.  minima  hercle  mirum.     morem  hunc  meretrices  habent : 

ad  portum  mittunt  seruolos,  ancillulas  ;  65 

sei  qua  peregrina  nauis  in  portum  aduenit, 

rogitant  quoiatis  sit,  quid  ei  nomen  siet 

postilla  extemplo  se  adplicant,  adglutinant : 

si  pellexerunt,  perditum  amittunt  domum. 

nunc  in  istoc  portu  stat  nauis  praedatoria,  70 

aps  qua  cauendum  nobis  sane  censeo. 

Men.   mones  quidem  hercle  recte.      Mes.  turn  demum  sciam 

recte  monuisse,  si  tu  recte  caueris. 

Men.   tacedum  parumper,  nam  concrepuit  ostium  : 

uideamus  qui  hinc  egreditur.     Mes.  hoc  ponam  interim.      7  5 

adseruatote  haec  sultis,  nauales  pedes. 


SCAEN-A  III 
EROTIVM.  MENAECHMVS  II.         MESSENIO. 

Er.  Sine  fores  sic,  abi,  nolo  operiri. 

intus  para,  cura,  uide,  quod  opust  fiat : 
sternite  lectos,  incendite  odores  ;  munditia 

inlecebra  animost  amantium. 

amanti  amoenitas  malost,  nobis  lucrost.  5 

sed  ubi  ille  est  quern  coquos  ante  aedis  esse  ait  ?  atque  eccum 

uideo, 


EROTIUM  39 

Men.  Tra.   But  I  wonder  how  he  knows  my  name.         70 

Mess.  Oh,  I'll  tell  ye.  These  courtesans  as  soon  as  any 
strange  ship  arriveth  at  the  Haven,  they  send  a  boy  or  a 
wench  to  inquire  what  they  be,  what  their  names  be,  whence 
they  come,  wherefore  they  come,  etc.  If  they  can  by  any 
means  strike  acquaintance  with  him,  or  allure  him  to  their  [75 
houses,  he  is  their  own.  We  are  here  in  a  tickle  place, 
master  :  'tis  best  to  be  circumspect. 

Men.  Tra.  I  mislike  not  thy  counsel,  Messenio. 

Mess.  Aye,  but  follow  it  then.  Soft,  here  comes  some 
body  forth.  Here,  sirs,  mariners,  keep  this  same  amongst 
you.  \GwMgluggage.]  [81 


SCENE  III 

Enter  EROTIUM. 

Erot.  Let  the  door  stand  so.  Away,  it  shall  not  be  shut. 
Make  haste  within  there,  ho  !  Maids,  look  that  all  things 
be  ready.  Cover  the  board ;  put  fire  under  the  perfuming 
pans  :  let  all  things  be  very  handsome.  Where  is  he  that 
Cylindrus  said  stood  without  here  ?  [Jo  Men.  Tra.]  Oh,  [5 


40  ELECEBRAE   ARGENTARIAE 

qui  mihi  est  usui  et  plurumum  prodest. 
item  hinc  ultro  fit,  ut  meret,  potissumus  nostrae  domi 

ut  sit ; 

mine  eum  adibo  atque  ultro  adloquar. 
animule  mi,  mihi  mira  uidentur  10 

te  hie  stare  foris,  fores  quoi  pateant, 
magi*  quam  domu'  tua  domu'  quom  haec  tua  sit 
omne  paratumst,  ut  iussisti 
atque  ut  uoluisti,  neque  tibi 

ulla  morast  intus.  I  5 

prandium,  ut  iussisti,  hie  curatumst:    ubi  lubet,  ire 

licet  accubitum 

Men.  quicum  haec   mulier   loquitur  ?     Er.    equidem  tecum. 

Men.   quid  mecum  tibi 

fuit  umquam  aut  nunc  est  negoti  ?     Er.   quia  pol    te  unum 

ex  omnibus 

Verm'  me  uoluit  magnuficare  neque  id  haud  inmerito  tuo. 
nam  ecastor  solus  benefactis  tuis  me  florentem  facis.  20 

Men.  certo  haec  mulier  aut  insana  aut  ebria  est,  Messenio, 
quae  homiqem  ignotum  compellet  me  tarn  familiariter. 
Mes.  dixin  ego  istaec  heic  solere  fieri  ?  folia  nunc  cadunt, 
praeut  si  triduom  hoc  hie  erimus :  turn  arbores  in  te  cadent. 
nam  ita  sunt  hie  meretrices :  omnes  elecebrae  argentariae.   2  5 
sed  sine  me  dum  hanc  compellare.     heus  mulier,  tibi  dico. 

Er.   quid  est  ? 

Mes.  ubi  tu  hunc  hominem  nouisti  ?     Er.  ibidem  ubi  hie  me 

iam  diu, 


SILVER-TONGUED   HACKSTERS  41 

what  mean  you,  sweetheart,  that  ye  come  not  in  ?  I  trust  you 
think  yourself  more  welcome  to  this  house  than  to  your  own. 
and  great  reason  why  you  should  do  so.  Your  dinner  and  all 
things  are  ready  as  you  willed.  Will  ye  go  sit  down  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Whom  doth  this  woman  speak  to  ?  10 

Erot.   Even  to  you,  sir.     To  whom  else  should  I  speak  ? 
Men.  Tra.  Gentlewoman,  ye  are  a  stranger  to  me,  and  I 
marvel  at  your  speeches. 

Erot.  Yea,  sir,  but  such  a  stranger  as  I  acknowledge  ye 
for  my  best  and  dearest  friend ;  and  well  you  have 
deserved  it.  16 

Men.  Tra.  Surely,  Messenio,  this  woman  is  also  mad  or 
drunk,  that  useth  all  this  kindness  to  me  upon  so  small 
acquaintance.  1 9 

Mess.  Tush,  did  not  I  tell  ye  right  ?  these  be  but  leaves 
that  fall  upon  you  now,  in  comparison  of  the  trees  that  will 
tumble  on  your  neck  shortly.  I  told  ye,  here  were  silver- 
tongued  hacksters.  But  let  me  talk  with  her  a  little. 
Gentlewoman,  what  acquaintance  have  you  with  this  man  ? 
where  have  you  seen  him  ?  25 

Erot.  Where  he  saw  me,  here  in  Epidamnum. 


4i  PRANDEAMUS 

in  Epidamno.     Mes.  in  Epidamno  ?  qui  hue  in  hanc  urbem 

pedem 

nisi  hodie  numquam  intro  tetulit  ?  Er.  heia  !  delicias  facis. 
mi  Menaechme,  quin,  amabo^  is  intro  ?  hie  tibi  erit  rectius.  30 
Men.  haec  quidem  edepol  recte  appellat  meo  me  mulier 

nomine. 

mmi'  miror  quid  hoc  sit  negoti.     Mes.  oboluit  marsuppium 
huic  istuc  quod  habes.      Men.   atque  edepol  tu  me  monuisti 

probe. 

accipedum  hoc.     iam  scibo  utrum  haec   me  mage  amet  an 

marsuppium. 

Er.  eamus  intro,  ut  prandeamus.     Men.  bene  uocas  :  tarn  [3  5 

gratiast. 

Er    qur  igitur  me  tibi  iussisti  coquere  dudum  prandium  ? 
Men.  egon    te    iussi   coquere  ?     Er.   certo,  tibi    et    parasite 

tuo. 

Men.  quoi,  malum,  parasito  ?  certo  haec  mulier  non  sanast 

satis. 

Er.   Peniculo.      Men.  quis  iste  est    Peniculus  ?    qui  exter- 

gentur  baxeae  ? 

Er.  scilicet  qui  dudum  tecum  uenit,  quom  pallam  mihi       40 
detulisti  quam  ab  uxore  tua  surrupuisti.     Men.   quid  est  ? 
tibi  pallam  dedi  quam  uxori  meae  surrupui  ?  sanan  es  ? 
certe  haec  mulier  cantherino  ritu  |  astans  somniat. 
Er.  qui  lubet  ludibrio  habere  me  atque  ire  infitias  mihi 
factaquae  sunt  ?     Men.  die  quid  est  id  quod  negem  quod  [45 

fecerim  ? 


TO  DINNER  43 

Mess.  In  Epidamnum  ?  who  never  till  this  day  set  his  foot 
within  the  town  ? 

Erot.  Go,  go,  flouting  Jack.  Menechmus,  what  need  all 
this?  I  pray,  go  in.  30 

Men.   Tra.   She  also  calls  me  by  my  name.  x 

Mess.   She  smells  your  purse. 

Men.  Tra.  Messenio,  come  hither  :  here,  take  my  purse. 
I'll  know  whether  she  aim  at  me  or  my  purse,  ere  I  go. 

Erot.   Will  ye  go  in  to  dinner,  sir  ?  35 

Men.  Tra.  A  good  motion ;  yea,  and  thanks  with  all  my 
heart. 

Erot.  Never  thank  me  for  that  which  you  commanded  to 
be  provided  for  yourself. 

Men.  Tra.  That  I  commanded  ?  40 

Erot.  Yea,  for  you  and  your  Parasite. 

Men.  Tra.   My  Parasite  ? 

Erot.  Peniculus,  who  came  with  you  this  morning,  when 
you  brought  me  the  cloak  which  you  got  from  your  wife. 

Men.  Tra.  A  cloak  that  I  brought  you,  which  I  got  from 
my  wife  ?  46 

Erot.  Tush,  what  needeth  all  this  jesting  ?  Pray,  leave 
off. 


44  ALIUM   NON   ME 

Er.  pallam  te  hodie  mihi  dedisse  uxoris.     Men.  etiam  nunc 

nego. 

egoquidem  neque  umquam  uxorem  habui  neque  habeo  neque 

hue 

umquam,  postquam  natus  sum,  intra  portam  penetraui  pedem. 
prandi  in    naui,  inde  hue  sum    egressus,   te   conueni.      Er. 

eccere, 

perii  misera !   quam  tu  mihi  nunc  nauem  narras !      Men.  [50 

ligneam, 

saepe  tritam,  saepe  fixam,  saepe  excussam  malleo ; 
quasi  supellex  pellionis,  palus  palo  proxumust. 
Er.   f  iam,  amabo,  desine  f  ludos  facere  atque  i  hac  mecum 

semul. 

Men.  nescio  quern,  mulier,  alium  hominem,  non  me  quaeritas. 
Er.  non  ego  te  noui  Menaechmum,  Moscho  prognatum  [55 

patre, 

qui  Syracusis  perhibere  natus  esse  in  Sicilia, 
ubi  rex  Agathocles  regnator  fuit  et  iterum  Phintia, 
tertium  Liparo,  qui  in  morte  regnum  Hieroni  tradidit, 
nunc  Hiero  est  ?    Men.  hau  falsa,  mulier,  praedicas.    Mes.  pro 

luppiter  ! 

num  istaec  mulier  illinc  uenit  quae  te  nouit  tarn  cate  ?  60 

Men.  hercle  opinor,  pernegari  non  potest.      Mes.  ne  feceris. 
periisti,  si  intrassis  intra  limen.      Men.   quin  tu  tace  modo. 
bene  res  geritur.     adsentabor  quidquid  dicet  mulieri, 
si  possum  hospitium  nancisci.     iam  dudum,  mulier,  tibi 
non  inprudens  aduorsabar  :  hunc  metuebam  ni  meae  65 


YOU   LOOK   FOR   ANOTHER  45 

Men.  Tra.  Jest  or  earnest,  this  I  tell  ye  for  a  truth.  I 
never  had  wife,  neither  have  I ;  nor  never  was  in  this  place 
till  this  instant ;  for  only  thus  far  am  I  come,  since  I  brake 
my  fast  in  the  ship.  52 

Erot.  What  ship  do  ye  tell  me  of? 

*Mess.  Marry,  I'll  tell  ye :  an  old  rotten,  weather-beaten 
ship,  that  we  have  sailed  up  and  down  in  these  six  years.  Is't 
not  time  to  be  going  homewards  think  ye  ?  56 

Erot.  Come,  come,  Menechmus,  I  pray  leave  this  sporting 
and  go  in. 

Men.  Tra.  Well,  Gentlewoman,  the  truth  is,  you  mistake 
my  person  :  it  is  some  other  you  look  for.  60 

Erot.  Why,  think  ye  I  know  ye  not  to  be  Menechmus, 
the  son  of  Moschus,  and  have  heard  ye  say,  ye  were  born  at 
Syracusis,  where  Agathocles  did  reign  ;  then  Pythia,  then 
Liparo,  and  now  Hiero. 

Men.  Tra.   All  this  is  true.  65 

Mess.  Either  she  is  a  witch,  or  else  she  hath  dwelt  there 
and  knew  ye  there. 

Men.  Tra.  [aside  to  Mess.]  I'll  go  in  with  her,  Messenio  ; 
I'll  see  further  of  this  matter. 

Mess,    [to  Men.  Tra.]   Ye  are  cast  away  then.  70 

Men.  Tra.  [aside  to  Mess.]  Why  so  ?  I  warrant  thee,  I  can 
lose  nothing  ;  something  I  shall  gain  ;  perhaps  a  good  lodging 
during  my  abode  here.  I'll  dissemble  with  her  another 
while.  [7b  Erotium.]  Now  when  you  please  let  us  go  in. 


46  PALLA 

uxori  renuntiaret  de  palla  et  de  prandio. 

nunc,  quando  uis,  eamus  intro.     Er.  etiam  parasitum  manes  ? 

Men.  neque  ego  ilium  maneo  neque  flocci  facio  neque,  si 

uenerit, 

eum  uolo  intromitti.     Er.   ecastor  haud  inuita  fecero. 
sed  scin  quid  te  amabo  ut  facias  ?     Men.  impera  quid  uis  [70 

modo. 
Er.  pallam  illam   quam  dudum  dederas,  ad  phrygionem  ut 

deferas, 

ut  reconcinnetur  atque  ut  opera  addantur  quae  uolo. 
Men.  hercle  qui  tu  recte  dicis :  eadem  |  ignorabitur, 
ne  uxor  cognoscat  te  habere,  si  in  uia  conspexerit. 
Er.  ergo  mox  auferto  tecum,  quando  abibis.    Men.  maxume. 

[75 

Er.  eamus  intro.     Men.  iam  sequar  te.     hunc   uolo  etiam 

conloqui. 

eho  Messenio,  |  accede  hue.     Mes.  quid  negoti  est  ?     f  sus- 

scirif . 

Men.  quid  eo  opust  ?     Mes.  opus  est — Men.  scio  ut  ne  dicas. 

Mes.  tanto  nequior. 

Men.  habeo  praedam :    tantum    incepi   operis.      i    quantum 

potes, 

abduc  istos  in  tabernam  actutum  deuorsoriam.  80 

turn  facito  ante  solem  occasum  ut  uenias  aduorsum  mihi. 
Men.  non  tu  istas  meretrices  nouisti,  ere.      Men.  tace,  in- 


mihi  dolebit,  non  tibi,  si  quid  ego  stulte  fecero. 


quam* 


THE  CLOAK  AGAIN  47 

I  made  strange  with  you,  because  of  this  fellow  here,  lest  he 
should  tell  my  wife  of  the  cloak  which  I  gave  you.  76 

Erot.  Will  ye  stay  any  longer  for  your  Peniculus,  your 
Parasite  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Not  I,  I'll  neither  stay  for  him,  nor  have  him 
let  come  in,  if  he  do  come.  80 

Erot.  All  the  better.  But,  sir,  will  ye  do  one  thing  for 
me  ? 

Men.  Tra.  What  is  that  ? 

Erot.  To  bear  that  cloak  which  you  gave  me  to  the  dyers, 
to  have  it  new  trimmed  and  altered.  85 

Men.  Tra.  Yea,  that  will  be  well  ;  so  my  wife  shall  not 
know  it.  Let  me  have  it  with  me  after  dinner.  I  will  but 
speak  a  word  or  two  with  this  fellow,  then  I'll  follow 
ye  in.  [Exit  Erotium.J  Ho,  Messenio,  come  aside.  Go 
and  provide  for  thyself  and  these  ship  boys  in  some  inn  ; 
then  look  that  after  dinner  you  come  hither  for  me.  91 

Mess.  Ah,  master,  will  ye  be  conycatched  thus  wilfully  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Peace,  foolish  knave,  seest  thou  not  what  a 
sot  she  is ;  I  shall  cozen  her,  I  warrant  thee 


48  PENICULUS   LOQUITUR 

mulier  haec  stulta  atque  inscita  est ;  quantum  perspexi  modo, 
est  hie   praeda  nobis.     Mes.   peril!   iarane  abis  ?  periit  [85 

probe : 

ducit  lembum  dierectum  nauis  praedatoria. 
sed  ego  inscitus  qui  domino  me  postulem  moderarier  : 
dicto  me  emit  audientem,  baud  imperatorem  sibi. 
sequimini,  ut,  quod  imperatum  est,  ueniam  aduorsum    tem- 

peri. — 

ACTVS    III 

SCAENA    I 
P  EN  I  C  VLVS. 

Pe.  Plus  triginta  j  annis  natus  sum,  quom  |  interea  loci 

numquam  quicquam  facinus  feci  peius  neque  scelestius 

quam  hodie,  quom  [in]  contionem  mediam  me  immersi  miser. 

ubi  ego  dum  hieto,  Menaechmus  se  supterduxit  mihi 

atque  abit  ad  amicam,  credo,  neque  me  uoluit  ducere.  5 

qui  ilium  di  omnes  perduint  quei  primus  (hoc)  commentus  est, 

contionem  habere,  qui  homines  occupatos  occupat ! 

non  ad  earn  rem  |  otiosos  homines  decuit  deligi, 

qui  nisi  adsint  quom  citentur,  census  capiat  ilico  ? 

*  quam  senatus  *  *  contionem  *  10 

*  * 

adfatim  est  hominum  in  dies  qui  singulas  escas  edint, 
quibu'    negoti   nihil   est,  qui   essum   neque   uocantur   neque 

uocant ; 


PENICULUS   TELLS   HIS   TALE  49 

Mess.  Ay,  master.  95 

Men.  Tra.  Wilt  thou  be  gone?  \_Exit. ~\ 

*Mess.   See,  see,  she  hath  him  safe  enough  now.     Thus 

he    hath    escaped    a    hundreth   pirates'    hands    at   sea ;    and 

now   one  land-rover   hath   boarded    him    at   first  encounter. 

Come  away,  fellows.  \_Exeunt. ~\    100 

ACT   III 

SCENE  I 

Enter  PENICULUS. 

Pen.  Thirty  years,  I  think,  and  more,  have  I  played  the 
knave,  yet  never  played  I  the  foolish  knave  as  I  have  done 
this  morning.  I  follow  Menechmus,  and  he  goes  to  the  Hall 
where  now  the  Sessions  are  holden  ;  there  thrusting  ourselves 
into  the  press  of  people,  when  I  was  in  midst  of  all  the  £5 
throng,  he  gave  me  the  slip,  that  I  could  never  more  set  eye 
on  him,  and  I  dare  swear,  came  directly  to  dinner.  That  I 
would  he  that  first  devised  these  Sessions  were  hanged,  and 
all  that  ever  came  of  him,  'tis  such  a  hindrance  to  men  that 
have  belly  businesses  in  hand.  If  a  man  be  not  there  at  [10 
his  call,  they  amerce  him  with  a  vengeance.  Men  that  have 
nothing  else  to  do,  that  do  neither  bid  any  man,  nor  are 
themselves  bidden  to  dinner,  such  should  come  to  Sessions, 


50  ADVENA 

eos  oportet  contioni  dare  operam  atque  comitieis. 

si  id  ita  esset,  non  ego  hodie  perdidissem  prandium,  1 5 

quoi  tarn  credo  datum  uoluisse  quam  me  uideo  uiuere. 

ibo  :  etiamnum  reliquiarum  spes  animum  oblectat  meum. 

sed  quid  ego  uideo  ?     Menaechmus  cum  corona  exit  foras. 

sublatum  est  conuiuium,  edepol  uenio  aduorsum  temperi. 

opseruabo  quid  agat  hominem.     post  adibo  atque  adloquar.  20 


SCAENA  II 
MENAECHMVS  II.          PENICVLVS. 

Men.  Potine  ut  quiescas  ?  ego  tibi  hanc  hodie  probe 

lepideque  concinnatam  referam  temperi. 

non  faxo  earn  esse  dices :  ita  ignorabitur. 

Pe.  pallam  ad  phrygionem  fert  confecto  prandio 

uinoque  expoto,  parasito  excluso  foras.  5 

non  hercle  is  sum  qui  sum,  ni  |  hanc  iniuriam 

meque  ultus  pulchre  fuero.     opserua  quid  dabo. 

Men.  pro  di  inmortales  !   quoi  homini  umquam  uno  die 

boni  dedistis  plus  qui  minu'  sperauerit  ? 

prandi,  potaui,  scortum  accubui,  apstuli  10 

hanc,  quoiius  heres  numquam  erit  post  hunc  diem. 

Pe.   nequeo  quae  loquitur  exaudire  clanculum  ; 

satur  nunc  loquitur  de  me  et  de  parti  mea  ? 

Men.  ait  hanc  dedisse  me  sibi  atque  earn  meae 

uxori  surrupuisse.     quoniam  sentio  1 5 

errare,  extemplo,  quasi  res  cum  ea  esset  mihi, 


THE   TRAVELLER  51 

not  we  that  have  these  matters  to  look  to.  If  it  were  so,  I 
had  not  thus  lost  my  dinner  this  day ;  which  I  think  in  [15 
my  conscience  he  did  even  purposely  cozen  me  of.  Yet  I 
mean  to  go  see.  If  I  can  but  light  upon  the  reversion,  I  may 
perhaps  get  my  penny-worths.  But  how  now  ?  Is  this 
Menechmus  coming  away  from  thence  ?  Dinner  done,  and 
all  despatched  ?  What  execrable  luck  have  I  !  20 


SCENE  II 
Enter  MENECHMUS  the  Traveller. 

Men.  Tra.  [_to  Erotium  fwtthln~\  Tush,  I  warrant  ye,  it 
shall  be  done  as  ye  would  wish.  I'll  have  it  so  altered  and 
trimmed  anew,  that  it  shall  by  no  means  be  known  again. 

Pen.  [aside']  He  carries  the  cloak  to  the  dyers,  dinner 
done,  the  wine  drunk  up,  the  Parasite  shut  out  of  doors.  [5 
Well,  let  me  live  no  longer,  but  I'll  revenge  this  injurious 
mockery.  But  first  I'll  hearken  awhile  what  he  saith. 

Men.  Tra.  Good  gods,  who  ever  had  such  luck  as  I ! 
Such  cheer,  such  a  dinner,  such  kind  entertainment !  And 
for  a  farewell,  this  cloak  which  I  mean  shall  go  with  me.  10 

Pen.  \_aside~\  He  speaks  so  softly,  I  cannot  hear  what  he 
saith.  I  am  sure  he  is  now  flouting  at  me  for  the  loss  of  my 
dinner. 

Men.  Tra.  She  tells  me  how  I  gave  it  her,  and  stole  it 
from  my  wife.  When  I  perceived  she  was  in  an  error  £  1 5 


52  ETIAM   DERIDES 

coepi  adsentari :   mulier  quidquid  dixerat, 
idem  ego  dicebam.     quid  multis  uerbis  (opust)  ? 
minore  nusquam  bene  fui  dispendio. 

Pe.   adibo  ad  hominem,  nam  turbare  gestio.  20 

Men.  quis  hie  est  qui  aduorsus  it  mihi  ?     Pe,   quid  ais,  homo 
leuior  quam  pluma,  pessume  et  nequissume, 
flagitium  hominis,  subdole  ac  minimi  preti  ? 
quid  de  te  merui  qua  me  caussa  perderes  ? 
ut  surrupuisti  te  mihi  dudum  de  foro  !  25 

fecisti  funus  med  apsenti  prandio. 
qur  ausu's  facere,  quoii  ego  aeque  heres  eram  ? 
Men.  adulescens,  quaeso,  quid  tibi  mecum  est  rei 
qui  mihi  male  dicas  homini  ignoto  |  insciens  ? 
an  tibi  malam  rem  uis  pro  male  dictis  dari  ?  30 

Pe.  post  earn  quam  edepol  te  dedisse  intellego. 
Men.  responde,  adulescens,  quaeso,  quid  nomen  tibist  ? 
Pe.  etiam  derides  quasi  nomen  non  gnoueris  ? 
Men.  non  edepol  ego  te  quod  sciam  umquam  ante  hunc  diem 
uidi  neque  gnoui ;  uerum  certo,  quisquis  es,  3  5 

si  aequom  facias,  mihi  odiosus  ne  sies. 

Pe.  Menaechme,  uigila.     Men.  uigilo  hercle  equidem  quod 

sciam. 

Pe.  non  me  nouisti  ?     Men.  non  negem  si  nouerim. 
Pe.  tuom  parasitum  non  nouisti  ?     Men.  non  tibi 
sanum  est,  adulescens,  sinciput,  intellego.  40 

Pe.  responde,  surrupuistin  uxori  tuae 
pallam  istanc  hodie  |  ac  dedisti  Erotio  ,? 


MOCK   ON  53 

tho'  I  knew  not  how,  I  began  to  soothe  her,  and  to  say  every-  » 
thing  as   she  said.     Meanwhile,    I  fared  well,  and   that  o* 
free  cost. 

Pen.  Well,  I'll  go  talk  with  him.          [Coming  forward.'] 

Men.  Tra.  Who  is  this  same  that  comes  to  me  ?  20 

Pen.  Oh,  well  met,  fickle-brain,  false  and  treacherou 
dealer,  crafty  and  unjust  promise-breaker.  How  have  I 
deserved,  you  should  so  give  me  the  slip,  come  before,  and 
despatch  the  dinner,  deal  so  badly  with  him  that  hath  reverenced 
ye  like  a  son  ?  25 

Men.  Tra.  Good  fellow,  what  meanest  thou  by  these 
speeches  ?  Rail  not  on  me,  unless  thou  intend'st  to  receive 
a  railer's  hire. 

Pen.  I  have  received  the  injury,  sure  I  am,  already. 

Men.  Tra.   Prithee  tell  me,  what  is  thy  name  ?  30 

Pen.  Well,  well,  mock  on,  sir,  mock  on :  do  ye  not  know 
my  name  ? 

Men.  Tra.  In  troth  I  never  saw  thee  in  all  my  life  ;  much 
less  do  I  know  thee. 

Pen.  Fie !  awake,  Menechmus,  awake ;  ye  oversleep 
yourself!  36 

Men.  Tra.   I  am  awake :  I  know  what  I  say. 

Pen.   Know  you  not  Peniculus  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Peniculus,  or  Pediculus,  I  know  thee  not. 

Pen.  Did  ye  filch  a  cloak  from  your  wife  this  morning, 
and  bring  it  hither  to  Erotium  ?  41 


54  UXORI    ELOQUAR 

Men.  neque  hercle  ego  uxorem  habeo  neque  ego  Erotio 

dedi  nee  pallam  surrupui.     Pe.  satin  sanus  es  ? 

occisast  haec  res.     non  ego  te  indutum  foras  45 

exeire  uidi  pallam  ?     Men.  uae  capiti  tuo  ! 

omnis  cinaedos  esse  censes  quia  tu  es  ? 

tun  med  indutum  fuisse  pallam  praedicas  ? 

Pe.  ego  hercle  uero.     Men.  non  tu  abis  quo  dignus  es  ? 

aut  te  piari  iube,  homo  insanissume.  50 

Pe.  numquam  edepol  quisquam  me  exorabit  quin  tuae 

uxori  rem  omnem  iam,  uti  sit  gesta,  eloquar  ; 

omnes  in  te  istaec  recident  contumeliae : 

faxo  haud  inultus  prandium  comederis. — 

Men.  quid  hoc  est  negoti  ?  satine,  uti  quemque  conspicor,   55 

ita  me  ludificant  ?  sed  concrepuit  ostium. 

SCAENA  III 
ANCILLA.          MENAECHMVS    II. 

An.  Menaechme,  amare  ait  te  multum  Erotium, 

•j-ut  hoc  una  opera  ad  auruficem  deferas,  f 

atque  hue  ut  addas  auri  pondo  |  unciam 

iubeasque  spinter  nouom  reconcinnarier. 

Men.  et  istuc  et  aliud  si  quid  curari  uolet  t 

me  curaturum  dicito,  quidquid  uolet. 

An.  scin  quid  hoc  sit  spinter  ?     Men.  nescic  nisi  aureum. 

An.  hoc  est  quod  olim  clanculum  ex  armario 

te  surrupuisse  aiebas  uxori  tuae. 


I'LL   GO   TELL   HIS   WIFE  55 

Men.  Tra.  Neither  have  I  wife,  neither  gave  I  my  cloak 
to  Erotium,  neither  filched  I  any  from  anybody. 

Pen.  Will  ye  deny  that  which  you  did  in  my  company  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Wilt  thou  say  I  have  done  this  in  thy  company  ?  45 

Pen.  Will  I  say  it  ?  yea,  I  will  stand  to  it. 

Men.  Tra.  Away,  filthy  mad  drivel,  away;  I  will  talk 
no  longer  with  thee. 

Pen.  Not  a  world  of  men  shall  stay  me,  but  I'll  go  tell 
his  wife  of  all  the  whole  matter,  sith  he  is  at  this  point  [50 
with  me.  I  will  make  this  same  as  unblest  a  dinner  as  ever 
he  eat.  [_Exit.~\ 

Men.  Tra.  It  makes  me  wonder,  to  see  how  everyone 
that  meets  me  cavils  thus  with  me.  Wherefore  comes  forth 
the  maid  now  ?  55 

SCENE  III 
Enter  ANCILLA,  EROTIUM'S  maid. 

Anc.  Menechmus,  my  mistress  commends  her  heartily  to 
you,  and  seeing  you  go  that  way  to  the  dyer's,  she  also 
desireth  you  to  take  this  chain  with  you,  and  put  it  to  mend 
ing  at  the  goldsmith's ;  she  would  have  two  or  three  ounces  of 
gold  more  in  it,  and  the  fashion  amended.  5 

Men.  Tra.  Either  this  or  anything  else  within  my  power, 
tell  her,  I  am  ready  to  accomplish. 

Anc.   Do  ye  know  this  chain,  sir  ? 

Men.  Tra.   Yea,  I  know  it  to  be  gold. 

Anc.  This  is  the  same  you  once  took  out  of  your  wife's 
casket.  1 1 


56  IUSSUM   ALTERUM 

Men.  mimquam  hercle  factum  est.     An.  non  meministi,   [10 

opsecro  ? 

redde  igitur  spinter,  si  non  meministi.     Men.  mane, 
immo  equidem  memini.     nempe  hoc  est  quod  illi  dedei. 
istuc  :  ubi  illae  armillae  sunt  quas  una  dedei  ? 
An.  numquam  dedisti.     Men.  nam  pol  hoc  unum  dedei. 
An.  dicam  curare  ?     Men.  dicito  :   curabitur.  1 5 

et  palla  et  spinter  faxo  referantur  simul. 
An.  amabo,  mi  Menaechme,  inauris  da  mihi 
faciendas  pondo  duom  nummum,  stalagmia, 
ut  te  lubenter  uideam,  quom  ad  nos  ueneris. 
Men.  fiat,     cedo  aurum  ;  ego  manupretium  dabo.  20 

An.  da  sodes  aps  te ;  poste  reddidero  tibi. 
Men.  immo  cedo  aps  te  :  ego  post  tibi  reddam  duplex. 
An.  non  habeo.-    Men.  at  tu,  quando  habebis,  turn  dato. 
An.  numquid  [mej  uis  ? — Men.  haec  me  curaturum  dicito — 
ut  quantum  possint  quique  liceant  ueneant.  25 

iamne  introabiit  ?  abiit,  operuit  fores, 
di  me  quidem  omnes  adiuuant,  augent,  amant. 
sed  quid  ego  cesso,  dum  datur  mi  occasio 
tempusque,  abire  ab  his  locis  lenonieis  ? 

pr opera,  Menaechme,  fer  pedem,  confer  gradum.  30 

demam  hanc  coronam  atque  abiciam  ad  laeuam  manum, 
ut,  si  [quisj  sequantur  me,  hac  abiisse  censeant. 
ibo  et  conueniam  seruom  si  potero  meum, 
ut  haec,  quae  bona  dant  di  mihi,  |  ex  me  sciat. — 


ANOTHER   COMMISSION  57 

Men.  Tra.   Who,  did  I  ? 

Anc.  Have  you  forgotten  ? 

Men.  Tra.  I  never  did  it. 

Anc.  Give  it  me  again  then.  1 5 

Men.  Tra.  Tarry  :  yes,  I  remember  it ;  'tis  it  I  gave  your 
mistress. 

Anc .  Oh,  are  you  advised  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Where  are  the  bracelets  that  I  gave  her  like 
wise?  20 

Anc.   I  never  knew  of  any. 

Men.  Tra.   Faith,  when  I  gave  this,  I  gave  them  too. 

Anc.  Well,  sir,  I'll  tell  her  this  shall  be  done  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Ay,  ay,  tell  her  so  ;  she  shall  have  the  cloak 
and  this  both  together.  25 

Anc.  I  pray,  Menechmus,  put  a  little  jewel  for  my  ear  to 
making  for  me :  ye  know  I  am  always  ready  to  pleasure  you. 

Men.  Tra.  I  will,  give  me  the  gold ;  I'll  pay  for  the 
workmanship. 

Anc.  Lay  out  for  me  ;   I'll  pay  it  ye  again.  30 

Men.  Tra.  Alas,  I  have  none  now. 

Anc.  When  you  have,  will  ye  ? 

Men.  Tra.  I  will.  Go  bid  your  mistress  make  no  doubt 
of  these.  I  warrant  her,  I'll  make  the  best  hand  I  can  of 
them.  {Exit  Ancilla.]  Is  she  gone  ?  Do  not  all  the  [35 
gods  conspire  to  load  me  with  good  luck  ?  well  I  see  'tis 
high  time  to  get  me  out  of  these  coasts,  lest  all  these  matters 
should  be  lewd  devices  to  draw  me  into  some  snare.  There 
shall  my  garland  lie,  because  if  they  seek  me,  they  may 
think  I  am  gone  that  way.  *I  will  now  go  see  if  I  can  find 
my  man  Messenio,  that  I  may  tell  him  how  I  have  sped.  41 


ACTVS   IV 

SCAENA    I 

MATRONA.          PENICVLVS 

Ma.   Egone  hie  me  patiar  frustra  in  matrimoni. 

ubi  uir  compilet  clanculum  quidquid  domist 

atque  ea  ad  amicam  deferat  ?     Pe.  quin  tu  taces  ? 

manufesto  faxo  iam  opprimes  :  sequere  hac  modo. 

pallam  ad  phrygionem  cum  corona  |  ebrius  5 

ferebat  hodie  tibi  quam  surrupuit  domo. 

sed  eccam  coronam  quam  habuit.     num  mentior  ? 

em  hac  abiit,  si  iiis  persequi  uestigiis. 

atque  edepol  eccum  optume  reuortitur  ; 

sed  pallam  non  fert.    Ma.  quid  ego  nunc  cum  illoc  agam  ?   10 

PC.  idem  quod  semper  :  male  habeas  ;  sic  censeo. 

hue  concedamus  :  ex  insidieis  aucupa. 

SCAENA  II 

MENAECHMVS  I.       PENICVLVS.       MATRONA. 
Men.  Vt  hoc  utimur  maxume  more  moro, 
molesto  atque  multo  atque  uti  quique  sunt  op- 
-tumi  maxume  morem  habent  hunc  ! 
clientes  sibi  omnes  uolunt  esse  multos  : 
58 


ACT   IV 

SCENE  I 

Enter  MULIER,  the  Wife  O/*MENECHMUS  the  Citizen,  and 
PENICULUS. 

Mul.  Thinks  he  I  will  be  made  such  a  sot,  and  to  be  still 
his  drudge,  while  he  prowls  and  purloins  all  that  I  have,  to 
give  his  trulls  ? 

Pen.  Nay,  hold  your  peace,  we'll  catch  him  in  the  nick. 
This  way  he  came,  in  his  garland  forsooth,  bearing  the  [5 
cloak  to  the  dyers.  And  see,  I  pray,  where  the  garland  lies  ; 
this  way  he  is  gone.  See,  see,  where  he  comes  again  now 
without  the  cloak. 

Mul.  What  shall  I  now  do  ? 

Pen.  What  ?  That  which  ye  ever  do  ;  bait  him  for  life.     I  o 

Mul.   Surely  I  think  it  best  so. 

Pen.  Stay,  we  will  stand  aside  a  little  ;  ye  shall  catch  him 
unawares. 

SCENE  II 
Enter  MENECHMUS  the  Citizen. 

Men.  Cit.    It  would  make  a  man  at  his  wit's  end,  to  see 
how  brabbling  causes  are  handled  yonder  at  the  Court.  If 
a  poor  man  never  so  honest  have  a  matter  come  to  be  scanned, 
59 


60  PATRONORUM    SPOLIA 

bonine  an  mali  sint,  id  hau  quaeritant ;   res  5 

magis  quaeritur  quam  clientum  fides 

quoius  modi  clueat. 

si  est  pauper  atque  hau  malus  nequam  habetur, 
\     sin  diues  malust,  is  cliens  frugi  habetur. 
qui  nee  leges  neque  aequom  bonum  usquam  colunt,  i  o 

sollicitos  patronos  habent. 
datum  denegant  quod  datum  est,  iitium  pleni,  rapaces 

uiri,  fraudulent!, 
qui  aut  faenore  aut  peiiuriis  habent  rem  paratam, 

mens  est  in  quo     *  15 

eis  ubi  dicitur  dies,  simul  patronis  dicitur, 

quippe  qui  pro  illis  loquimur  quae  male  fecerunt  : 
aut  ad  populum  aut  in  iure  aut  ad  iudicem  rest, 
sicut  me  hodie  nimi'  sollicitum  cliens  quidam  habuit  neque 

quod  uolui 

agere  aut  quicum  licitumst,  ita  med  attinit,  ita  detinit.     20 
apud  aedilis  pro  eius  factis  plurumisque  pessumisque 
deixei  caussam,  condiciones  tetuli  tortas,  confragosas  : 
aut  plus  aut  minu'  quam  opus  erat  dicto  dixeram  controuor- 

siam,  ut 

sponsio  fieret.      quid  ill'  qui  praedem  dedit  ? 
nee  magis  manufestum  ego  hominem  umquam  ullum  teneri  [25 

uidi : 

omnibus  male  factis  testes  tres  aderant  acerrumi. 
di  ilium  omnes  perdant,  ita  mihi 
hunc  hodie  corrumpit  diem, 


LAWYERS'   GAINS  61 

there  is  he  outfaced  and  overlaid  with  countenance  :  if  a  rich 
man  never  so  vile  a  wretch  come  to  speak,  there  they  are  [5 
all  ready  to  favour  his  cause.  What  with  facing  out  bad  causes 
for  the  oppressors,  and  patronizing  some  just  actions  for  the 
wronged,  the  lawyers  they  pocket  up  all  the  gains.  For  mine 
own  part,  I  come  not  away  empty,  though  I  have  been  kept 
long  against  my  will:  for  taking  in  hand  to  despatch  a  [TO 
matter  this  morning  for  one  of  my  acquaintance,  I  was  no 
sooner  entered  into  it,  but  his  adversaries  laid  so  hard 
unto  his  charge,  and  brought  such  matter  against  him,  that  do 
what  I  could,  I  could  not  wind  myself  out  till  now.  I  am 


62  UXOR   QUERITUR 

meque  adeo,  qui  hodie  forum 
umquam  oculis  inspexi  meis.  30 

diem  corrupi  |  optumum  : 
iussi  apparari  prandium, 
arnica  exspectat  me,  scio. 
ubi  primum  est  licitum  ilico 
properaui  abire  de  foro.  35 

iratast,  credo,  nunc  mihi ; 
placabit  palla  quam  dedi, 
quam  hodie  uxori  apstuli  atque  detuli  huic  Erotio. 

Pe.  quid    ais  ?     Ma.  uiro    me    malo  male  nuptam.     Pe. 
satin  audis  quae  illic  loquitur  ? 

Ma.  sati'.     Men.   si  sapiam,  hinc  intro  abeam,  ubi  mi   £40 
bene  sit.     Pe.  mane  :  male  erit  potius. 
Ma.  ne  illam  ecastor  faenerato  apstulisti.     Pe.  sic  datur. 
Ma.  clanculum  te  istaec  flagitia  facere  censebas  pote  ? 
Men.    quid    illuc    est,    uxor,    negoti  ?     Ma.    men     rogas  ? 

Men.  uin  hunc  rogem  ? 

Ma.  aufer  hinc  palpationes.     Pe.  perge  tu.     Men.  quid  tu 

mihi 

tristis  es  ?    Ma.  te  scire  oportet.    Pe.  scit  sed  dissimulat  [45 

malus. 

Men.  quid    negotist  ?     Ma.    pallam — Men.    pallam  ?     Ma. 
quidam  pallam — Pe.  quid  paues  ? 

Men.  nil  equidem  paueo.     Pe.  nisi  unum :    palla   pallorem 

incutit. 
at  tu  ne  clam  me  comesses  prandium.     perge  in  uirum. 


THE   WIVE'S   COMPLAINT  63 

sore  afraid  Erotium  thinks  much  unkindness  in  me,  [15 
that  I  stayed  so  long  ;  yet  she  will  not  be  angry  considering 
the  gift  I  gave  her  to-day. 

Pen.  How  think  ye  by  that  ? 

Mul.  I  think  him  a  most  vile  wretch  thus  to  abuse  me. 

Men.  Cit.  I  will  hie  me  thither.  20 

Mul.  Yea,  go,  pilferer,  go  with  shame  enough  ;  nobody 
sees  your  lewd  dealings  and  vile  thievery. 

Men.  Cit.  How  now,  wife,  what  ail  ye  ?  what  is  the 
matter  ? 

Mul.   Ask  ye  me  what's  the  matter  ?      Fie  upon  thee.    25 

Pen.  Are  ye  not  in  a  fit  of  an  ague,  your  pulses  beat  so 
sore  ?  To  him,  I  say  ! 

Men.  Cit.  Pray,  wife,  why  are  ye  so  angry  with  me  ? 

Mul.  Oh,  you  know  not  ? 

Pen.   He  knows,  but  he  would  dissemble  it.  30 

Men.  Cit.  What  is  it  ? 

Mul.  My  cloak. 

Men.  Cit.  Your  cloak  ? 

Mul.  My  cloak,  man  ;   why  do  ye  blush  ? 

Pen.  He  cannot  cloak  his  blushing.  Nay,  I  might  not  go 
to  dinner  with  you,  do  you  remember  ?  To  him,  I  say.  36 


64  1TERUM    PALLA 

Men.  non   taces ?     Pe.  non    hercle   uero   taceo.     nutat   ne 

loquar. 

Men.  non  hercle  egoquidem  usquam  quicquam  nuto  neque  £50 

nicto  tibi. 

Ma.  ne  ego  ecastor  mulier  misera.     Men.   qui  tu  misera  es  ? 

mi  expedi. 

Pe.  nihil  hoc  confidentius  :   quin  quae  uides  ea  pernegat. 
Men.  per  louem  deosque  omnis  adiuro,  uxor  (satin  hoc  est 

tibi?), 

me  isti  non  nutasse.     Pe.  credit  iam  tibi  de  '  isti ' :  illuc  redi. 
Men.  quo  ego  redeam  ?     Pe.  equidem  ad  phrygionem     [55 

censeo  ;  et  pallam  refer. 

Men.  quae  istaec   palla  est  ?     Pe.  taceo  iam,  quando  haec 

rem  non  meminit  suam. 

Men.  numquis  seruorum  deliquit  ?  num  ancillae  aut  seruei  tibi 
responsant  ?  eloquere.     inpune  non  erit.     Ma.  nugas  agis. 
Men.  tristis  admodum  est.    non  mihi  istuc  sati'  placet —  Ma. 

nugas  agis. 

Men.  certe  familiarium-  aliquoi  irata  es.    Ma.  nugas  agis.    60 
Men.  num  mihi    es  irata  saltern  ?     Ma.  nunc  tu  non  nugas 

agis. 

Men.  non  edepol'deliqui  quicquam.       Ma.  em  rusum  nunc 

nugas  agis 

Men.    die,    mea    uxor,    quid    tibi    aegre    est  ?       Pe.     bellus 

blanditur  tibi. 

Men.  potin    ut    mihi    molestus    ne    sis  ?     num    te    appello  ? 

Ma.  aufer  manum 


AGAIN   THE   CLOAK  65 

Men.  Cit.   Hold  thy  peace,  Peniculus. 

Pen.  Ha,  hold  my  peace  !  Look  ye,  he  beckons  on  me  to 
hold  my  peace. 

Men.  Cit.   I  neither  beckon  nor  wink  on  him.  40 

Mul.  Out,  out,  what  a  wretched  life  is  this  that  I  live. 

Men.  Cit.  Why,  what  ail  ye,  woman  ? 

Mul.  Are  ye  not  ashamed  to  deny  so  confidently,  that 
which  is  apparent  ? 

Men.  Cit.  I  protest  unto  you  before  all  the  gods — is  not  this 
enough  ? — that  I  beckoned  not  on  him.  46 

Pen.  Oh,  sir,  this  is  another  matter  :  touch  him  in  the 
former  cause. 

Men.  Cit.   What  former  cause  ? 

Pen.  The  cloak,  man,  the  cloak  :  fetch  the  cloak  again 
from  the  dyers.  5 1 

Men.  Cit.  What  cloak  ? 

Mul.  Nay,  I'll  say  no  more,  sith  ye  know  nothing  of  your 
own  doings. 

Men.  Cit.  Tell  me,  wife,  hath  any  of  your  servants  abused 
you?  Let  me  know.  56 

Mul.  Tush,  tush. 

Men.  Cit.   I  would  not  have  you  to  be  thus  disquieted. 

Mul.  Tush,  tush. 

Men.  Cit.  You  are  fallen  out  with  some  of  your  friends. 

Mul.  Tush,  tush.  6 1 

Men.  Cit.   Sure  I  am,  I  have  not  offended  you. 

Mul.  No,  you  have  dealt  very  honestly. 

Men.  Cit.  Indeed,  wife,  I  have  deserved  none  of  these 
words.  Tell  me,  are  ye  not  well  ?  65 

Pen.  What,  shall  he  flatter  ye  now  ? 

Men.  Cit.  I  speak  not  to  thee,  knave.  Good  wife,  come 
hither. 

Mul.  Away,  away  ;   keep  your  hands  off. 


66  QUID   ID    EST 

Pe.  sic  datur.     pr operate  apsente  me  comesse  prandium,    65 
post  ante  aedis  cum  corona  me  derideto  ebrius. 
Men.  neque  edepol  ego  prandi  neque  hodie  hue  intro  tetuli 

pedem. 

Pe.  tun  negas  ?      Men.  nego    hercle   uero.      Pe.  nihil  hoc 

homine  audacius. 

non  ego  te  modo  hie  ante  aedis  cum  corona  florea 
uidi  astare  ?  quom  negabas  mihi  esse  sanum  sinciput  70 

et  negabas  me  nouisse,  peregrinum  aibas  esse  te  ? 
Men.  quin  ut  dudum  diuorti  aps  te,  redeo  nunc  demum  domum. 
Pe.  noui  ego  te.     non  mihi  censebas  esse  qui  te  ulciscerer. 
omnia  hercle  uxori  dixi.     Men.  quid  dixisti  ?     Pe.  nescio, 
earn  ipsus    [\~]    roga.       Men.  quid  hoc  est,  uxor  ?   quidnam 

hie  narrauit  tibi?   [75] 

quid  id  est  ?  quid  taces  ;    quin  dicis  quid  sit  ?     Ma.   quasi 

tu  nescias. 

palla  mihi  est  domo  surrupta.      Men.  palla  surrupta  est  tibi  ? 
Ma.  me  rogas  ?     Men.  pol  hau  rogem  te  si  sciam.     Pe.  o 

hominem  malum, 

ut  dissimulat !      non  potes  celare  :  rem  nouit  probe, 
omnia  hercle  ego  edictaui.     Men.  quid  id  est  ?     Ma.  [80 

quando  nil  pudet 

neque  uis  tua  uoluntate  ipse  profiteri,  audi  atque  ades. 
et  quid  tristis  (sim)  et  quid  hie  mihi  dixerit  faxo  scias. 
palla  mihi  est  domo  surrupta.      Men.  palla  surruptast  mihi  ? 
Pe.  uiden  ut  (te)  scelestus  captat  ?  huic  surruptast,  non  tibi. 
nam  profecto  tibi  surrupta  si  esset — salua  non  foret.  85 


WHAT'S   THE    MATTER?  67 

Pen.  So,  bid  me  to  dinner  with  you  again,  then  slip  [70 
away  from  me ;  when  you  have  done,  come  forth  bravely  in 
your  garland,  to  flout  me.  Alas,  you  knew  not  me  even  now. 

Men.  Cit.  Why,  ass,  I  neither  have  yet  dined,  nor  came 
I  there,  since  we  were  there  together.  74 

Pen.  Who  ever  heard  one  so  impudent  ?  Did  ye  not 
meet  me  here  even  now,  and  would  make  me  believe  I  was 
mad,  and  said  ye  were  a  stranger,  and  ye  knew  me  not  ? 

Men.  Cit.  Of  a  truth,  since  we  went  together  to  the  Sessions 
Hall,  I  never  returned  till  this  very  instant,  as  you  two  met  me. 

Pen.  Go  to,  go  to,  I  know  ye  well  enough.  Did  ye 
think  I  would  not  cry  quittance  with  you  ?  Yes,  faith  :  I  have 
told  your  wife  all.  82 

Men.  Cit.  What  hast  thou  told  her  ? 

Pen.  I  cannot  tell.     Ask  her. 

Men.  Cit.  Tell  me,  wife,  what  hath  he  told  ye  of  me  ? 
Tell  me,  I  say ;  what  was  it  ?  86 

Mul.  As  though  you  knew  not  my  cloak  is  stolen  from  me  ! 

Men.  Cit.  Is  your  cloak  stolen  from  ye  ? 

Mul.  Do  ye  ask  me  ? 

Men.  Cit.  If  I  knew,  I  would  not  ask.  90 

Pen.  O  crafty  companion  !  how  he  would  shift  the  matter  ? 
Come,  come,  deny  it  not :  I  tell  ye.  I  have  bewrayed  all. 

Men.  Cit.  What  hast  thou  bewrayed  ? 

Mul.  Seeing  ye  will  yield  to  nothing,  be  it  never  so  mani 
fest,  hear  me,  and  ye  shall  know  in  few  words  both  the  [9  5 
cause  of  my  grief,  and  what  he  hath  told  me.  I  say  my 
cloak  is  stolen  from  me. 

Men.  Cit.  My  cloak  is  stolen  from  me  ? 

Pen.  Look  how  he  cavils  !   She  saith  it  is  stolen  from  her. 

F2 


68  TU   TU 

Men.  nil  mihi  tecum   est.     sed    tu  quid    ais  ?     Ma.  palla, 

inquam,  periit  domo. 

Men.  quis  earn  surrupuit  ?     Ma.  pol  istuc  ille  scit  qui  illam 

apstulit. 

Men.   quis  is  homo  est  ?     Ma.   Menaechmus  quidam.     Men. 

edepol  factum  nequiter. 

quis  is  Menaechmust  ?     Ma.  tu  istic,  inquam.     Men.  egone  ? 

Ma.  tu.     Men.   quis  arguit  ? 

Ma.  egomet.     Pe.  et  ego.     atque  huic  amicae  detulisti    [90 

Erotio. 

Men.  egon  dedi  ?     Ma.  tu  tu  istic,  inquam.    Pe.  uin  adferri 

noctuam, 

quae  *  tu  tu '  usque  dicat  tibi  ?  nam  nos  iam  defessi  sumus. 
Men.  per  louem  deosque  omnis  adiuro,  uxor  (satin  hoc  est 

tibi?), 

non  dedisse.  "  Pe.  immo  hercle  uero,  nos  non  falsum  dicere. 
Men.  sed  ego  illam  non  condonaui,  sed  sic  utendam  dedi.  95 
Ma.  equidem  ecastor  tuam  nee  chlamydem  do  foras  nee 

pallium 

quoiquam    utendum.      mulierem    aequom    est    uestimentum 

muliebre 

dare  foras,  uirum  uirile.     quin  refers  pallam  domum  ? 
Men.  ego  faxo  referetur.     Ma.  ex  re  tua,  ut  opinor,  feceris ; 
nam  domum  numquam  introibis  nisi  feres  pallam  simul.      100 
eo  domum.     Pe.   quid  mihi  futurum  est  qui  tibi  hanc  operam 

dedi  ? 
Ma.  opera  reddetur,  quando  quid  tibi  erit  surruptum  domo. — 


YOU   YOU  69 

Men.  Cit.  I  have  nothing  to  say  to  thee  :  I  say,  wife,  tell 
me.  i  o  i 

Mul.  I  tell  ye,  my  cloak  is  stolen  out  of  my  house. 

Men.  Cit.  Who  stole  it  ? 

Mul.  He  knows  best  that  carried  it  away. 

Men.  Cit.  Who  was  that?  105 

Mul.   Menechmus. 

Men.  Cit.  'Twas  very  ill  done  of  him.  What  Menechmus 
was  that  ? 

Mul.  You. 

Men.  Cit.   I  !   who  will  say  so  ?  1 1  o 

Mul.   I  will. 

Pen.  And  I,  that  you  gave  it  to  Erotium. 

Men.  Cit.   I  gave  it  ? 

Mul.  You.  1 1 4 

Pen.  You,  you,  you  :  shall  we  fetch  a  kennel  of  beagles 
that  may  cry  nothing  but  you,  you,  you,  you !  For  we  are 
weary  of  it. 

Men.  Cit.  Hear  me  one  word,  wife.  I  protest  unto  you 
by  all  the  gods,  I  gave  it  her  not :  indeed  I  lent  it  her  to  use 
a  while.  120 

Mul.  Faith,  sir,  I  never  give  nor  lend  your  apparel  out  of 
doors.  Methinks  ye  might  let  me  dispose  of  mine  own 
garments  as  you  do  of  yours.  I  pray  then  fetch  it  me  home 
again. 

Men.  Cit.  You  shall  have  it  again  without  fail.  125 

Mul.  'Tis  best  for  you  that  I  have :  otherwise  think  not 
to  roost  within  these  doors  again. 

Pen.  Hark  ye,  what  say  ye  to  me  now,  for  bringing  these 
matters  to  your  knowledge  ? 


70  UXOR   RESCIVIT 

Pe.  id  quidem  edepol  numquam  erit,  nam    nihil   est  quod 

perdam  domi. 

cum  uiro  cum  uxore,  di  uos  perdant !     properabo  ad  forum, 
nam  ex  hac  familia  me  plane  excidisse  intellego. —  105 

Men.  male  mi  uxor  sese  fecisse  censet,  quom  exclusit  foras  ; 
quasi  non  habeam  quo  intromittar  alium  meliorem  locum, 
si  tibi  displiceo,  patiundum :  at  placuero  huic  Erotio, 
quae  me  non  excludet  ab  se,  sed  apud  se  occludet  domi. 
nunc  ibo,  orabo  ut  mihi  pallam  reddat  quam  dudum  dedi ;    1 1  o 
aliam  illi  redimam  meliorem.     heus  !   ecquis  hie  est  ianitor  ? 
aperite  atque  Erotium  aliquis  euocate  ante  ostium. 


SCAENA  III 
EROTIVM.       MENAECHMVS  I. 

Er.  Quis  hie  me  quaerit  ?     Men.   sibi  inimicus  magi'  quam 

aetati  tuae. 

Er.  mi  Menaechme,  qur  ante  aedis  astas  ?     sequere  intro. 

Men.  mane. 

scin  quid  est  quod  ego  ad  te  uenio  ?     Er.  scio,  ut  tibi  ex  me 

sit  uolup. 

Men.  immo  edepol  pallam  illam,  amabo  te,  quam  tibi  dudum 

dedi, 

mihi  earn  redde.    uxor  resciuit  rem  omnem,  ut  factum  est,    [5 

ordine. 
ego  tibi  redimam  bis  tanta  pluris  pallam  quam  uoles. 


MY   WIFE    KNOWS   ALL  71 

Mul.  I  say,  when  thou  hast  anything  stolen  from  thee, 
come  to  me,  and  I  will  help  thee  to  seek  it.  And  so,  [131 
farewell.  [£*//.} 

Pen.  God  a  mercy  for  nothing  :  that  can  never  be,  for 
I  have  nothing  in  the  world  worth  the  stealing.  So  now 
with  husband,  wife,  and  all,  I  am  clean  out  of  favour.  A 
mischief  on  ye  all.  CT3^  Exit. 

Men.  Cit.  My  wife  thinks  she  is  notably  revenged  on  me, 
now  she  shuts  me  out  of  doors,  as  though  I  had  not  a  better 
place  to  be  welcome  to.  If  she  shut  me  out,  I  know  who 
will  shut  me  in.  Now  will  I  entreat  Erotium  to  let  me  [140 
have  the  cloak  again  to  stop  my  wife's  mouth  withal ;  and  then 
will  I  provide  a  better  for  her.  Ho  !  who  is  within  there  ? 
Somebody  tell  Erotium  I  must  speak  with  her. 

SCENE  III 
Enter  EROTIUM. 

Erot.  Who  calls  ? 

Men.  Cit.   Your  friend  more  than  his  own. 

Erot.  O  Menechmus,  why  stand  ye  here  ?  pray  come  in. 

Men.  Cit.  Tarry,  I  must  speak  with  ye  here. 

Erot.  Say  your  mind.  5 

Men.  Cit.  Wot  ye  what  ?  my  wife  knows  all  the  matter 
now,  and  my  coming  is,  to  request  you  that  I  may  have  again 
the  cloak  which  I  brought  you,  that  so  I  may  appease  her : 
and  I  promise  you,  I'll  give  ye  another  worth  two  of  it. 


72  NIMIS    IRACUNDE 

Er.  tibi  dedi  equidem  ijlam,  ad  phrygionem  ut  ferres,  paullo 

prius, 

et  illud  spinter,  ut  ad  auruficem  ferres,  ut  fieret  nouom. 
Men.  mihi  tu  ut  dederis  pallam  et  spinter  ?  numquam  factum 

reperies. 

nam  ego  quidem  postquam  illam  dudum  tibi  dedi,  atque     [10 

abii  ad  forum : 

nunc  redeo,  nunc  te  postillac  uideo.     Er.  uideo  quam  rem  agis. 
quia  commisi,  ut  me  defrudes,  ad  earn  rem  adfectas  uiam. 
Men.  neque  edepol  te  defrudandi  caussa  posco  (quin  tibi 
dico  uxorem  resciuisse)  — Er.  nee  te  ultro  oraui  ut  dares : 
tute  ultro  ad  me  detulisti,  dedisti  earn  dono  mihi ;  1 5 

eandem  nunc  reposcis  :  patiar.     tibi  habe,  aufer,  utere 
uel  tu  uel  tua  uxor,  uel  etiam  in  loculos  compingite. 
tu  hue  post  hunc  diem  pedem  intro  non  feres,  ne  frustra  sis ; 
quando  tu  me  bene  merentem  tibi  habes  despicatui, 
nisi  feres  argentum,  frustra  me  ductare  non  potes.  20 

aliam  posthac  inuenito  quam  habeas  frustratui. — 
Men.  nimis  iracunde  hercle  tandem,    heus  tu,  tibi  dico,  mane, 
redi.     etiamne  astas  ?  etiam  audes  mea  reuorti  gratia  ? 
abiit  intro,  occlusit  aedis.     nunc  ego  sum  exclusissumus  : 
neque  domi  neque  apud  amicam  mihi  iam  quicquam  creditur.  2  5 
ibo  et  consulam  hanc  rem  amicos  quid  faciendum  censeant. — 


WHAT,   SO   ANGRY  73 

Erot.  Why,  1  gave  it  you  to  carry  to  your  dyers ;  and  my 
chain  likewise,  to  have  it  altered.  1 1 

Men.  Cit.  Gave  me  the  cloak  and  your  chain  ?  In  truth 
I  never  saw  ye  since  I  left  it  here  with  you,  and  so  went  to 
the  Sessions,  from  whence  I  am  but  now  returned.  14 

Erot.  Ah  then,  sir,  I  see  you  wrought  a  device  to  defraud 
me  of  them  both .  Did  I  therefore  put  ye  in  trust  ?  Well, 
well. 

Men.  Cit.  To  defraud  ye  ?  No :  but  I  say,  my  wife 
hath  intelligence  of  the  matter.  19 

Erot.  Why,  sir,  I  asked  them  not ;  ye  brought  them  of 
your  own  free  motion.  Now  ye  require  them  again,  take 
them,  make  sops  of  them,  you  and  your  wife  together. 
Think  ye  I  esteem  them  or  you  either  ?  Go  ;  come  to  me 
again  when  I  send  for  you. 

Men.  Cit.  What !  so  angry  with  me,  sweet  Erotium  ? 
Stay,  I  pray  stay.  26 

*  Erot.  Stay  ?  Faith,  sir,  no  :  think  ye  I  will  stay  at 
your  request  ? 

Men.  Cit.  What,  gone  in  chafing,  and  clapped  to  the 
doors  ?  now  I  am  every  way  shut  out  for  a  very  bench- 
whistler  :  neither  shall  I  have  entertainment  here  nor  at  home. 
I  were  best  go  try  some  other  friends,  and  ask  counsel  what 
to  do,  33 


ACTVS   V 

SCAENA    I 

MENAECHMVS    II.         MATRONA. 

Men.   Nimi'  stulte  dudum  feci  quom  marsupium 
Messenioni  cum  argento  concredidi. 
immersit  aliquo  sese,  credo,  in  ganeum. 
Ma.  prouisam  quam  mox  uir  meus  redeat  domum. 
sed  eccum  uideo.      salua  sum,  pallam  refert.  5 

Men.  demiror  ubi  nunc  ambulet  Messenio. 
Ma.  adibo  atque  hominem  accipiam  quibu'  dictis  meret. 
non  te  pudet  prodire  in  conspectum  meum, 
flagitium  hominis,  cum  istoc  ornatu  ?     Men.   quid  est  ? 
quae  te  res  agitat,  mulier  ?     Ma.  etiamne,  inpudens,  10 

muttire  uerbum  unum  audes  aut  mecum  loqui  ? 
Men.   quid  tandem  admisi  in  me  ut  loqui  non  audeam? 
Ma.  rogas  me  ?     hominis  inpudentem  audaciam  ! 
Men.  non  tu  scis,  mulier,  Hecubam  quapropter  canem 
Graii  esse  praedicabant  ?     Ma.  non  equidem  scio.  1 5 

Men.   quia  idem  faciebat  Hecuba  quod  tu  nunc  facis : 
omnia  mala  ingerebat  quemquem  aspexerat. 
itaque  adeo  iure  coepta  appellari  est  Canes. 
Ma.  non  ego  istaec  flagitia  possum  perpeti. 
nam  med  aetatem  uiduam  |  esse  mauelim  20 

74 


ACT  V 

SCENE  I 
Enter  MENECHMUS  the  Traveller,  MULIER. 

Men.  Tra.  Most  foolishly  was  I  overseen  in  giving  my 
purse  and  money  to  Messenio,  whom  I  can  nowhere  find.  I 
fear  he  is  fallen  into  some  lewd  company. 

Mul.  I  marvel  that  my  husband  comes  not  yet ;  but  see 
where  he  is  now,  and  brings  my  cloak  with  him.  5 

Men.  Tra.   I  muse  where  the  knave  should  be. 

Mul.  I  will  go  ring  a  peal  through  both  his  ears  for  this 
dishonest  behaviour.  Oh,  sir,  ye  are  welcome  home  with 
your  thievery  on  your  shoulders.  Are  ye  not  ashamed  to  let 
all  the  world  see  and  speak  of  your  lewdness  ?  i  o 

Men.  Tra.   How  now  ?  what  lacks  this  woman  ? 

Mul.  Impudent  beast,  stand  ye  to  question  about  it  ?  For 
shame  hold  thy  peace. 

Men.  Tra.  What  offence  have  I  done,  woman,  that  I 
should  not  speak  to  you  ?  1 5 

Mul.  Askest  thou  what  offence  ?  O  shameless  boldness  ! 

Men.  Tra.  Good  woman,  did  ye  never  hear  why  the 
Grecians  termed  Hecuba  to  be  a  bitch  ? 

Mul.  Never.  19 

Men.  Tra.  Because  she  did  as  you  do  now  ;  on  whomso 
ever  she  met  withall,  she  railed,  and  therefore  well  deserved 
that  dogged  name. 

Mul.  These  foul  abuses  and  contumelies  I  can  never  en 
dure  ;  nay,  rather  will  I  live  a  widow's  life  to  my  dying  day.  24  I 

Men.  Tra.  What  care  I  whether  thou  livest  as  a  widow,  I 
or  as  a  wife  ?  This  passeth,  that  I  meet  with  none,  but  thus,' 
they  vex  me  with  strange  speeches. 

Mul.  What  strange  speeches  ?  I  say  I  will  surely  live  ai 
widow's  life,  rather  than  suffer  thy  vile  dealings. 

75 


76  AN   MOS   HIC   ITA   EST 

quam  istaec  flagitia  tua  pati  quae  tu  facis. 

Men.  quid  id  ad  me,  tu  te  nuptam  possis  perpeti 

an  sis  abitura  a  tuo  uiro  ?  an  mos  hie  ita  est 

peregrino  ut  aduenienti  narrent  fabulas  ? 

Ma.  quas  fabulas  ?     non,  inquam,  patiar  praeterhac,  2  5 

quin  uidua  uiuam  quam  tuos  mores  perferam. 

Men.  mea  quidem  hercle  caussa  uidua  uiuito 

uel  usque  dum  regnum  optinebit  luppiter. 

Ma.  at  mihi  negabas  dudum  surrupuisse  te, 

nunc  eandem  ante  oculos  ad  tines  :  non  te  pudet?  30 

Men.  eu  hercle  !   mulier,  multum  et  audax  et  mala's. 

tun  tibi  hanc  surruptam  dicere  audes  quam  mihi 

dedit  alia  mulier  ut  concinnandam  darem  ? 

Ma.  ne  istuc  mecastor — iam  patrem  accersam  meum 

atque  ei  narrabo  tua  flagitia  quae  facis.  35 

i,  Decio,  quaere  meum  patrem,  tecum  simul 

ut  ueniat  ad  me :  ita  rem  |  esse  dicito. 

iam  ego  aperiam  istaec  tua  flagitia.     Men.  sanan  es  ? 

quae  mea  flagitia  ?     Ma.  pallam  |  atque  aurum  meum 

domo  suppilas  tuae  uxori  |  et  tuae  40 

degeris  amicae.     satin  haec  recte  fabulor  ? 

Men.  quaeso  hercle,  mulier,  si  scis,  monstra  quod  bibam 

tuam  qui  possim  perpeti  petulantiam. 

quern  tu  hominem  (med)  arbitrere  nescio ; 

ego  te  simitu  noui  cum  Porthaone.  45 

Ma.  si  me  derides,  at  pol  ilium  non  potes, 

patrem  meum  qui  hue  aduenit.     quin  respicis  ? 


ART   NOT   ASHAMED?  77 

Men.  Tra.  Prithee  for  my  part,  live  a  widow  till  the 
world's  end,  if  thou  wilt.  31 

Mul.  Even  now  thou  denied'st  that  thou  stolest  it  from  me, 
and  now  thou  bringest  it  home  openly  in  my  sight.  Art  not 
ashamed?  34 

Men.  Tra.  Woman,  you  are  .greatly  to  blame  to  charge 
me  with  stealing  of  this  cloak,  which  this  day  another  gave 
me  to  carry  to  be  trimmed. 

Mul.  Well,  I  will  first  complain  to  my  father.  Ho,  boy, 
who  is  within  there  ?  Decio,  go  run  quickly  to  my  father  ; 
desire  him  of  all  love  to  come  over  quickly  to  my  £40 
house.  I'll  tell  him  first  of  your  pranks  ;  I  hope  he  will  not 
see  me  thus  handled. 

Men.  Tra.  What  a  God's  name  meaneth  this  mad  woman 
thus  to  vex  me  ?  44 

Mul.  I  am  mad  because  I  tell  ye  of  your  vile  actions  and 
lewd  pilfering  away  my  apparel  and  my  jewels,  to  carry  to 
your  filthy  drabs. 

Men.  Tra.  For  whom  this  woman  taketh  me  I  know 
not.  I  know  her  as  much  as  I  know  Hercules'  wife's 
father.  50 

Mul.  Do  ye  not  know  me  ?  That's  well.  I  hope  ye 
know  my  father :  here  he  comes.  Look,  do  ye  know 
him? 


78  SOCER 

nouistin  tu  ilium  ?     Men.  noui  cum  Calcha  simul : 

eodem  die  ilium  uidi  quo  te  ante  hunc  diem. 

Ma.  negas  nouisse  me  ?  negas  patrem  meum  ?  50 

Men.  idem  hercle  dicam  si  auom  uis  adducere. 

Ma.  ecastor  pariter  hoc  atque  alias  res  soles. 


SCAENA    II 

SENEX.  MATRONA.  MENAECHMVS  II. 

Se.  Vt  aetas  mea  est  atque  ut  hoc  usuj  facto  est 
gradum  proferam,  progrediri  properabo. 
sed  id  quam  mihi  facile  sit  hau  sum  falsus. 
nam  pernicitas  deserit  :  consitus  sum 

senectute,  onustum  gero  corpu',  uires  5 

reliquere  :  ut  aetas  mala  est !   mers  mala  ergost. 
\J  \  nam  res  plurumas  pessumas,  quom  aduenit,  ad- 

-fert,  quas  si  autumem  omnis,  nimis  longu'  sermost. 
sed  haec  res  mihi  in  pectore  et  corde  curaest, 

quidnam  hoc  sit  negoti  quod  sic  filia  10 

repente  expetit  me,  ut  ad  sese  irem. 

nee  quid  id  sit  mihi  certius  facit,  quid 

uelit.     quid  me  accersit  ? 
uerum  propemodum  iam  scio  quid  siet  rei. 
credo  cum  uiro  litigium  natum  esse  aliquod.  15 

ita  istaec  solent,  quae  uiros  supseruire 
sibi  postulant,  dote  fretae,  feroces 


THE   OLD   MAN  79 

Men.  Tra.   As  much  as  I  knew  Calchas  of  Troy.       Even 
him  and  thee  I  know  both  alike.  55 

Mul.  Dost  know  neither  of  us  both,  me  nor  my  father  ? 
Men.  Tra.   Faith,  nor  thy  grandfather  neither. 
Mul.  This  is  like  the  rest  of  your  behaviour. 


SCENE  II 
Enter  SENEX.  -  -/  ±^l^    0  /1u/l<?K 

0 

*  Sen.  Though,  bearing  so  great  a  burthen  as  old  age,  I  can 
make  no  great  haste,  yet  as  I  can,  I  will  go  to  my  daughter, 
who  I  know  hath  some  earnest  business  with  me,  that  she 
sends  in  such  haste,  not  telling  the  cause  why  I  should  come. 
But  I  durst  lay  a  wager,  I  can  guess  near  the  matter  :  I  £5 
suppose  it  is  some  brabble  between  her  husband  and  her. 
These  young  women  that  bring  great  dowries  to  their 
husbands,  are  so  masterful  and  obstinate,  that  they  will  have 
their  own  wills  in  everything,  and  make  men  servants  to  their 


8o  LUDIBRIS   HABEOR 

et  illi  quoque  haud  apstinent  saepe  culpa. 

uerum  est  modu'  tamen,  quoad  pati  uxorem  oportet ; 

nee  pol  filia  umquam  patrem  accersit  ad  se  20 

nisi  aut  quid  commissi  aut  iurgi  est  caussa. 
sed  id  quidquid  est  iam  sciam.     atque  eccam  eampse 
ante  aedis  et  eius  tristem  uirum  uideo.    id  est  quod  suspicabar. 
appellabo    hanc.     Ma.    ibo    aduorsum.      salue   multum,    mi 

pater. 

Se.  salua  sis.     saluen  aduenio  ?  saluen  accersi  iubes  ?  25 

quid  tu  tristis  es  ?  quid  ille  autem  aps  te  iratus  destitit  ? 
nescioquid  uos  uelitati  estis  inter  uos  duos, 
loquere,  uter  meruistis  culpam,  paucis,  non  longos  logos. 
Ma.    nusquam  equidem  quicquam   deliqui :    hoc  primum  te 

apsoluo,  pater. 

uerum  uiuere  hie  non  possum  neque  durare  ullo  modo.         30 
proin  tu  me  hinc  abducas.     Se.  quid  istuc  autem  est  ?     Ma. 

ludibrio,  pater, 

habeor.    Se.  unde  ?    Ma.  ab  illo  quoi  me  mandauisti,  meo  uiro. 
Se.'  ecce  autem  litigium  !      quotiens  tandem  |  edixi  tibi 
ut  caueres  neuter  ad  me  iretis  cum  querimonia  ?  34 

Ma.    qm  ego   istuc,    mi    pater,    cauere  possum  ?      Se.    men 

interrogas  ? 

Ma.  nisi  non  uis.     Se.   quotiens  monstraui  tibi  uiro  ut  morem 

geras, 

quid  ille  faciat  ne  id  opserues,  quo  eat,  quid  rerum  gerat. 
Ma.  at  enim  ille  hinc  amat  meretricem  ex  proxumo. 

Se.   sane  sapit 


A   LAUGHING-STOCK  81 

weak  affections:  and  young  men  too,  I  must  needs  say,  [10 
be  naught  nowadays.  Well,  I'll  go  see,  but  yonder  methinks 
stands  my  daughter,  and  her  husband  too.  Oh,  'tis  even  as  I 
guessed. 

Mul.   Father,  ye  are  welcome. 

Sen.  How  now,  daughter  ?  What  ?  is  all  well  ;  why  [  1 5 
is  your  husband  so  sad  ?  have  ye  bin  chiding  ?  tell  me,  which 
of  you  is  in  fault  ? 

Mul.  First,  father,  know,  that  I  have  not  any  way  mis 
behaved  myself;  but  the  truth  is,  that  I  can  by  no  means 
endure  this  bad  man  to  die  for  it ;  and  therefore  desire  £20 
you  to  take  me  home  to  you  again. 

Sen.  What  is  the  matter  ? 

Mul.  He  makes  me  a  stale  and  a  laughing-stock  to  all  the 
world. 

Sen.  Who  doth?  25 

Mul.  This  good  husband  here,  to  whom  you  married  me. 

Sen.  See,  see  ;  how  oft  have  I  warned  you  of  falling  out 
with  your  husband  ? 

Mul.   I  cannot  avoid  it,  if  he  doth  so  foully  abuse  me.    29 

Sen.  I  always  told  ye,  ye  must  bear  with  him,  ye  must  let 
him  alone ;  ye  must  not  watch  him,  nor  dog  him,  nor  meddle 
with  his  courses  in  any  sort. 

Mul.  He  haunts  naughty  harlots  under  my  nose. 


82  SERVIRINE    VIROS 

atque  ob  istanc  industriam  etiam  faxo  amabit  amplius. 

Ma.   atque  ibi  potat.      Se.  tua  quidem  ille  caussa  potabit    [40 

minus, 

si  illic  siue  alibi  lubebit  ?  quae  haec,  malum,  impudentiast  ? 
una  opera  prohibere  ad  cenam  ne  promittat  postules 
neu  quemquam  accipiat  alienum  apud  se.     seruirin  tibi 
postulas  uiros  ?  dare  una  opera  pensum  postules, 
inter  ancillas  sedere  iubeas,  lanam  carere.  45 

Ma.  non  equidem  mihi  te  aduocatum,  pater,  adduxi,  sed  uiro. 
hinc  stas,  illim  caussam  dicis.     Se.  si  ille  quid  deliquerit, 
multo  tanta  ilium  accusabo  quam  te  accusaui  amplius. 
quando  te  auratam  et  uestitam  bene  habet,  ancillas,  penum     [5 1 
recte  praehibet,  melius  sanarn  est,  mulier,  mentem  sumere. 
Ma.  at  ille  suppilat  mihi  aurum  et  pallas  ex  arcis  domo, 
me  despoliat,  mea  ornamenta  clam  ad  meretrices  degerit. 
Se.  male  facit,  si  istuc  facit ;   si  non  facit,  tu  male  facis        55 
quae  insontem  insimules.    Ma.  quin  etiam  nunc  habet  pallam, 

pater, 

(et)  spinter,  quod  ad  hanc  detulerat,  nunc,  quia  resciui,  refert 
Se.  iam  ego  ex  hoc,  ut  factumst,  scibo.      (ibo)  ad  hominem 

atque  (ad)loquar. 

die  mihi  istuc,  Menaechme,  quod  uos  dissertatis,  ut  sciam. 
quid  tu  tristis  es  ?  quid  ilia  autem  irata  aps  te  destitit  ?         60 
Men.  quisquis  es,  quidquid  tibi  nomen  est,  senex,  summum 

louem 

deosque  do  testis —      Se.    qua   de  re  aut   quoius   rei  rerum 

omnium  ? 


IS  A   HUSBAND   A   SLAVE  ?  83 

Sen.  He  is  wiser,  because  he  cannot  be  quiet  at  home.    34 

Mul.  There  he  feasts  and  banquets,  and  spends,  and  spoils. 

Sen.  Would  ye  have  your  husband  serve  ye  as  your 
drudge  ?  Ye  will  not  let  him  make  merry,  nor  entertain  his 
friends  at  home. 

Mul.  Father,  will  ye  take  his  part  in  these  abuses,  and 
forsake  me  ?  40 

Sen.  Not  so,  daughter  ;   but  if  I  see  cause,  I  will  as  well  \ 
tell  him  of  his  duty. 

Men.  Tra.  \_aside~\  I  would  I  were  gone  from  this  prating 
father  and  daughter. 

Sen.  Hitherto  I  see  not  but  he  keeps  ye  well  ;  ye  [45 
want  nothing ;  apparel,  money,  servants,  meat,  drink,  all 
things  necessary.  I  fear  there  is  fault  in  you. 

Mul.  But  he  filcheth  away  my  apparel  and  my  jewels,  to 
give  to  his  trulls. 

Sen.  If  he  doth  so,  'tis  very  ill  done  :  if  not,  you  do  [50 
ill  to  say  so. 

Mul.  You  may  believe  me,  father,  for  there  you  may  see 
my  cloak  which  now  he  hath  fetched  home  again,  and  my 
chain  which  he  stole  from  me. 

Sen.  Now  will  I  go  talk  with  him  to  know  the  £55 
truth.  [To  Men.  Tra.]  Tell  me,  Menechmus,  how  is  it 
that  I  hear  such  disorder  in  your  life  ?  Why  are  ye  so 
sad,  man  ?  wherein  hath  your  wife  offended  you  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Old  man  (what  to  call  ye  I  know  not),  by  high 
Jove,  and  by  all  the  gods  I  swear  unto  you,  whatsoever  this 

G2 


84  UT   OCULI   SCINTILLANT 

Men.   me  neque  isti  male  fecisse  mulieri  quae  me  arguit 
hanc  domo  ab  se  surrupuisse  atque  apstulisse — Ma.  deierat  ? 
Men.  si  ego  intra  aedis  huiius  umquam  ubi  habitat  penetraui  [65 

(pedem}, 

omnium  hominum  exopto  ut  fiam  miserorum  miserrumus. 
Se.  sanun  es  qui  istuc  exoptes  aut  neges  te  umquam  pedem 
in  eas  aedis  intulisse  ubi  habitas,  insanissume  ? 
Men.  tun,  senex,  ais  habitare  med  in  illisce  aedibus  ? 
Se.  tu  negas ?     Men.  nego  hercle  uero.     Se.  immo  hercle  [70 

inuere  negas ; 

nisi  quo  nocte  hac  exmigrasti.      (tu)  concede  hue,  filia. 
quid  tu  ais  ?  num  hinc  exmigrastis  ?     Ma.   quern  in  locum 

aut  (quam)  ob  rem,  opsecro ? 
Se.    non   edepol   scio.      Ma.    profecto    ludit    te    hie.      non 

tu[te]  tenes? 

Se.    iam   uero,   Menaechme,  sati'   iocatu's.     nunc  hanc  rem 

gere. 

Men.  quaeso,  quid  mihi  tecum  est  ?  unde  aut  quia  tu  homo  £7  5 

es?* 

tibi  aut  adeo  isti,  quae  mihi  molestiaest  quoquo  modo  ? 
Ma.   uiden  tu  illic  oculos  uirere  ?  ut  uiridis  exoritur  colos 
ex  temporibus  atque  fronte,  ut  oculi  scintillant,  uide  ! 
Men.  quid  mihi  meliust  quam,  quando  illi  me  insanire  prae- 

dicant, 

ego  med  adsimulem  insanire,  ut  illos  a  me  apsterream  ?        80 
Ma.  ut  pandiculans  oscitatur  !   quid  nunc  faciam,  mi  pater  ? 
Se.  concede  hue,  mea  nata,  ab  istoc  quam  potest  longissume. 


HIS   EYES    ROLL  85 

woman  here  accuseth  me  to  have  stolen  from  her,  it  is  utterly 
false  and  untrue;  and  if  ever  I  set  foot  within  her  doors,  [62 
I  wish  the  greatest  misery  in  the  world  to  light  upon  me. 

Sen.  Why,  fond  man,  art  thou  mad,  to  deny  that  thou  ever 
setst  foot  within  thine  own  house  where  thou  dwellest  ?  65 

Men.  Tra.  Do  I  dwell  in  that  house  ? 

Sen.   Dost  thou  deny  it  ? 

Men.  Tra.  I  do. 

Sen.  Hark  ye,  daughter ;  are  ye  removed  out  of  your 
house  ?  70 

Mul.  Father,  he  useth  you  as  he  doth  me  :  this  life  I  have 
with  him. 

Sen.  Menechmus,  I  pray  leave  this  fondness  ;  ye  jest  too 
perversely  with  your  friends. 

Men.  Tra.  Good  old  father,  what,  I  pray,  have  you  to  [75 
do  with  me  ?  or  why  should  this  woman  thus  trouble  me, 
with  whom  I  have  no  dealings  in  the  world  r 

Mul.  Father,  mark,  I  pray,  how  his  eyes  sparkle  :  they 
roll  in  his  head ;  his  colour  goes  and  comes ;  he  looks 
wildly.  See,  see.  80 

Men.  Tra.  \_aside~\  What  ?  they  say  now  I  am  mad :  the 
best  way  for  me  is  to  feign  myself  mad  indeed,  so  shall  I  be 
rid  of  them. 

Mul.  Look  how  he  stares  about,  how  he  gapes  ! 

Stn,  Come  away,  daughter  :  come  from  him.  85 


86  FURIT 

Men.  euhoe  atque  euhoe,  Bromie,  quo  me  in  siluam  uenatum 


uocas  i 


audio,  sed  non  abire  possum  ab  his  regionibus, 

ita  ilia  me  ab  laeua  rabiosa  femina  adseruat  canes,  85 

poste  autem  illinc  hircus  falusf,  qui  saepe  aetate  in  sua 

perdidit  ciuem  innocentem  falso  testimonio. 

Se.    uae   capiti  tuo !      Men.    ecce,  Apollo   mihi  ex   oraclo 

imperat 

ut  ego  illic  oculos  exuram  lampadi[bu]s  ardentibus. 
Ma.  perii !   mi  pater,  minatur  mihi  oculos  exurere.  90 

Men.  ei  mihi !   insanire  me  aiunt,  ultro  quom  ipsi  insaniunt. 
Se.  filia,  heus !      Ma.   quid  est  ?   quid  agimus  ?     Se.  quid  si 

ego  hue  seruos  cito  ? 

ibo,  abducam  qui  hunc  hinc  tollant  et  domi  deuinciant 
priu'  quam  turbarum  quid  facial  amplius.  Men.  enim  haereo ; 
ni  occupo  aliquid  mihi  con«ilium,  hi  domum  me  ad  se   [95 

auferent. 

pugnis  me  uotas  in  huiius  ore  quicquam  parcere, 
nei  a  meis  oculis  apscedat  in  malam  magnam  crucem. 
faciam    quod    iubes,    Apollo.       Se.     fuge    domum    quantum 

potest, 

ne  hie  te  optundat.     Ma.  fugio.     amabo,  adserua  istunc,  mi 

pater, 

ne  quo  hinc  abeat.     sumne  ego  mulier  misera  quae  illaec    fioo 

audio  ? — 
Men.  hau  male  illanc  amoui ;    (amoueo)  nunc  hunc  inpuris- 

sumum 


A   BEDLAM    FOOL  87 

*Men,  Tra.  Bacchus,  Apollo,  Phcebus,do  ye  call  me  to  come 
hunt  in  the  woods  with  you?  I  see,  I  hear,  I  come,  I  fly; 
but  I  cannot  get  out  of  these  fields.  Here  is  an  old  mastiff 
bitch  stands  barking  at  me  ;  and  by  her  stands  an  old  goat 
that  bears  false  witness  against  many  a  poor  man.  90 

Sen.  Out  upon  him,  Bedlam  fool. 

Men.  Tra.  Hark,  Apollo  commands  me  that  I  should  rend 
out  her  eyes  with  a  burning  lamp. 

Mul.   O  father,  he  threatens  to  pull  out  mine  eyes. 

Men.  Tra.  Good  gods,  these  folk  say  I  am  mad,  [95 
and  doubtless  they  are  mad  themselves. 

Sen.  Daughter. 

Mul.  Here,  father  :  what  shall  we  do  ? 

Sen.  What  if  I  fetch  my  folks  hither,  and  have  him 
carried  in  before  he  do  any  harm  ?  i  oo 

Men.  \_aside~\  How  now  ?  they  will  carry  me  in  if  I  look 
not  to  myself:  I  were  best  to  scare  them  better  yet. 
[Aloud}  Dost  thou  bid  me,  Phoebus,  to  tear  this  dog  in 
pieces  with  my  nails  ?  If  I  lay  hold  on  him,  I  will  do  thy 
commandment.  105 

Sen.   Get  thee  into  thy  house,  daughter ;  away  quickly. 

[Exit  Mul.] 

flfen.   She  is  gone  :  yea,  Apollo,  I  will  sacrifice  this  old 


88  ASTITI   IN  CURRUM 

barbatum,  trcmulum  Titanum,  qui  cluet  Cygno  patre. 
ita  mihi  imperas  ut  ego  huius  membra  atque  ossa  atque  artua 
comminuam    illo    scipione    quern    ipse    habet.       Se.    dabitur 

malum, 

me  quidem  si  attigeris  aut  si  propius  ad  me  accesseris.        105 
Men.  faciam  quod  iubes  ;    securim  capiam  ancipitem  atque 

hunc  senem 

osse  fini  dedolabo  assulatim  uiscera. 

Se.  enim  uero  illud  praecauendumst  atque  adcurandumst  mihi ; 
sane  ego  ilium  metuo,  ut  minatur,  ne  quid  male  faxit  mihi. 
Men.  multa  mi  imperas,  Apollo:  nunc  equos  iunctos  iubes  [no 
capere  me  indomitos,  ferocis,  atque  in  currum  inscendere, 
ut  ego  hunc  proteram  leonem  uetulum,  olentem,  edentulum. 
iam  astiti  in   currum,   iam   lora   teneo,    iam    stimulum :    in 

manust. 

agite  equi,  facitote  sonitus  ungularum  appareat, 
cursu  celeri  facite  inflexa  sit  pedum  pernicitas.  1 1 5 

Se.  mihin  equis  iunctis  minare  ?      Men.   ecce,  Apollo,  denuo 
me  iubes  facere  impetura  in'eum  qui  stat  atque  occidere. 
sed  quis  hie  est  qui  me  capillo  hinc  de  curru  deripit  ? 
imperium  tuom  demutat  atque  edictum  Apollinis. 

Se.  eu  hercle  morbum  acrem  ac  durum  !   *  *  •*  120 

*  *  *  di,  uostram  fidem  ! 

uel  hie  qui  insanit  quam  ualuit  paullo  prius ! 

ei  derepente  tantus  morbus  incidit. 

eibo  atque  accersam  medicum  iam  quantum  potest. — 


IN  THE   CHARIOT  89 

beast  unto  thee  ;  and  if  thou  commandest  me,  I  will  cut  his 
throat  with  that  dagger  that  hangs  at  his  girdle. 

Sen.  Come  not  near  me,  sirrah.  1 1  o 

Men.  Yea,  I  will  quarter  him,  and  pull  all  the  bones  out 
of  his  flesh,  and  then  will  I  barrel  up  his  bowels. 

Sen.  Sure,  I  am  sore  afraid  he  will  do  some  hurt.          1 1 3 

Men.  Tra.  Many  things  thou  commandest  me,  Apollo : 
wouldst  thou  have  me  harness  up  these  wild  horses,  and  then 
climb  up  into  the  chariot,  and  so  over-ride  this  old  stinking 
toothless  lion  ?  So  now  I  am  in  the  chariot,  and  I  have  hold 
on  the  reins  :  here  is  my  whip.  Hait  !  come,  ye  wild  jades, 
make  a  hideous  noise  with  your  stamping :  hait,  I  say  :  will 
ye  not  go  ?  1 20 

Sen.   What  ?  doth  he  threaten  me  with  his  horses  ? 

Men  Tra.  Hark  !  now  Apollo -bids  me  ride  over  him  that 
stands  there,  and  kill  him.  How  now  ?  who  pulls  me  down 
from  my  chariot  by  the  hairs  of  my  head  ?  Oh,  shall  I  not 
fulfil  Apollo's  commandment  ?  125 

Sen.  See,  see,  what  a  sharp  disease  this  is,  and  how  well 
he  was  even  now.  I  will  fetch  a  physician  straight,  before 
he  grow  too  far  into  this  rage.  Exit. 


9o  SANUM    FUTURUM    PROMITTO 

SCAENA  III 

MENAECHMVS  II.          SENEX. 
Men.   lamne  isti  abierunt,  quaeso,  ex  conspectu  meo, 
qui  me  ui  cogunt  ut  ualidus  insaniam  ? 
quid  cesso  abire  ad  nauem  duni  saluo  licet  ? 
uosque  omnis  quaeso,  si  senex  reuenerit, 
ni  me  indicetis  qua  platea  hinc  aufugerim. —  5 

Se.  lumbi  sedendo,  oculi  spectando  dolent, 
manendo  medicum  dum  se  ex  opere  recipiat. 
odiosus  tandem  uix  ab  aegrotis  uenit, 
ait  se  obligasse  crus  fractum  Aesculapio, 
Apollini  autem  bracchium.     nunc  cogito  10 

utrum  me  dicam  ducere  medicum  an  fabrum. 
atque  eccum  incedit.     moue  formicinum  gradum. 

SCAENA  IV 
MEDICVS.          SENEX. 

Med.   Quid  esse  illi  morbi  dixeras  ?  narra,  senex. 

num  laruatust  aut  cerritus  ?  fac  sciam. 

num  eum  ueternus  aut  aqua  intercus  tenet  ? 

Se.   quin  ea  te  caussa  duco  ut  id  dicas  mihi 

atque  ilium  ut  sanum  facias.     Med.  perfacile  id  quidems  :    5 

sanum  futurum,  mea  ego  id  promitto  fide. 

Se.  magna  cum  cura  ego  ilium  curari  uolo. 


I'LL   CURE    HIM  91 

SCENE  III 

Men.  Tra^  Are  they  both  gone  now  ?  I'll  then  hie  me 
away  to  my  ship  :  'tis  time  to  be  gone  from  hence.  Exit.  £13° 

Sen.  My  loins  ache  with  sitting,  and  mine  eyes  with  looking, 
while  I  stay  for  yonder  lazy  physician  :  see  now  where  the 
creeping  drawlatch  comes. 


SCENE  IV 

Enter  SEN  EX  and  MEDICUS. 

Med.  What  disease  hath  he,  said  you  ?     Is  it  a  letharge 
or  a  lunacy,  or  melancholy,  or  dropsy  ? 

Sen.  Wherefor,  I  pray,  do  I  bring  you,  but  that  you  should 
tell  me  what  it  is,  and  cure  him  of  it  ? 


92  ELLEBORO   OPUS   EST 

Med.  quin  suspirabo  plus  fsescentaf  in  dies  : 
ita  ego  eum  cum  cura  magna  curabo  tibi.  9 

Se.  atque  eccum  ipsum   hominem.     opseruemus   quam    rem 

agat. 

SCAENA  V 
MENAECHMVS  I.       SENEX.       MEDICVS. 

Men.  Edepol  ne  hie  dies  peruorsus  atque  aduorsus  mi  optigit 
quae  me  clam  ratus  sum  facere,  omnia  ea  fecit  palam 
parasitus  qui  me  compleuit  flagiti  et  formidinis, 
meus  Vlixes,  suo  qui  regi  tantum  conciuit  mali. 
quern  ego  hominem,  si  quidem  uiuo,  uita  euoluam  sua —        5 
sed  ego  stultus  sum,  qui  illius  esse  dico  quae  meast : 
meo  cibo  et  sumptu  educatust.      anima  priuabo  uirum. 
condigne  autem  haec  meretrix  fecit,  ut  mos  est  meretricius : 
quia  rogo  pal  la  ut  referatur  rusum  ad  uxorem  meam,  9 

mihi  se  ait  dedisse.     eu  edepol !      ne  ego  homo  uiuo  miser. 
Se.    audin    quae    loquitur  ?     Med.    se    miserum    praedicat. 

Se.  adeas  uelim. 

Med.   saluos  sis,  Menaechme.      quaeso,    qur  apertas   brac- 

chium  ? 

non  tu  scis  quantum  isti  morbo  nunc  tuo  facias  mali  ? 
Men.  quin  tu  te  suspendis  ?     Se.  ecquid  sentis  ?    Med.  quidni 

sentiam  ? 

non  potest  haec  res  ellebori  iungere  optinerier.  1 5 

sed  quid  ais,  Menaechme  ?     Men.   quid  uis  ?     Med.  die  mihi 

hoc  quod  te  rogo 


WANTED   A   PURGE 

Med.  Fie,  make  no  question  of  that.  I'll  cure  him,  I  [5 
warrant  ye.  Oh,  here  he  comes.  Stay,  let  us  mark  what 
he  doth.  {^rhey  stand  apart.~] 

SCENE  V 
Enter  MENECHMUS  the  Citizen. 

Men.  Cit.  Never  in  my  life  had  I  more  overthwart  fortune 
in  one  day,  and  all  by  the  villainy  of  this  false  knave  the 
Parasite,  my  Ulysses  that  works  such  mischiefs  against  me  his 
king.  But  let  me  live  no  longer  but  I'll  be  revenged  upon 
the  life  of  him.  His  life  ?  nay,  'tis  my  life,  for  he  lives  [5 
by  my  meat  and  drink.  I'll  utterly  withdraw  the  slave's  life 
from  him.  And  Erotium  she  plainly  sheweth  what  she  is ; 
who  because  I  require  the  cloak  again  to  carry  to  my  wife, 
saith  I  gave  it  her,  and  flatly  falls  out  with  me.  How 
unfortunate  am  I !  i  o 

Sen.  \_aside  to  Med.]   Do  ye  hear  him  ? 

Med.  \_as\de  to  Sen.]    He  complains  of  his  fortune. 

Sen.  \_aside  to  Med.]    Go  to  him. 

Med.  Menechmus,  how  do  ye,  man  ?  Why  keep  you 
not  your  cloak  over  your  arm  ?  It  is  very  hurtful  to  your 
disease.  Keep  ye  warm,  I  pray.  16 

Men.  Cit.  Why,  hang  thyself,  what  carest  thou  ? 

Med.  Sir,  can  you  smell  anything  ? 

Men.  Cit.  I  smell  a  prating  dolt  of  thee.  19 

93 


94  DELIRAMENTA 

album  an  atrum  unium  potaa  ?     Men.  quin  tu  is  in  malam 

crucem  ? 

Med.  iam   hercle  occeptat  insanire  primulum.      Men.   quin 

[tu]  me  interrogas 

purpureum  panem  an  puniceum  soleam  ego  esse  an  luteum  ? 
soleamne  esse  auis  squamossas,  piscis  pennatos  ?     Se.  papae  ! 
audin  tu  ut  deliramenta  loquitur  ?  quid  cessas  dare  2 1 

potionis  aliquid  priu'  quam  percipit  insania  ? 
Med.   mane    modo,    etiam    percontabor     alia.      Se.  occidis 

fabulans. 

Med.  die  mihi  hoc  :  solent  tibi  umquam  oculi  duri  fieri  ?  24 
Men.  quid  ?  tu  me  locustam  censes  esse,  homo  ignauissume  ? 
Med.  die  mihi :  enumquam  intestina  tibi  crepant,  quod 

sentias  ? 

Men.  ubi   satur   sum,   nulla  crepitant ;    quando  essurio,  turn 

crepant. 

Med.  hoc  quidem  edepol  hau  pro  insano  uerbum  respondit 

mihi. 

perdormiscin  usque  ad  lucem  ?  facilin  tu  dormis  Cubans  ? 
Men.   perdormisco,  si  resolui  argentum  quoi  debeo —  30 

qui  te  luppiter  dique  omnes,  percontator,  perduint ! 
Med.  nunc  homo  insanire  occeptat :  de  illis  uerbis  caue  tibi. 
Se.  immo  Nestor  nunc  quidem  est  de  uerbis,  praeut  dudum 

fuit: 

nam  dudum  uxorem  suam  esse  aiebat  rabiosarn  canem.  34 
Men.  quid,  ego  ?  Se.  dixti  insanus,  inquam.  Men.  egone  ? 

Se.  til  istic,  qui  mihi 


THE    FIT   BEGINS  95 

Med.  Oh,  I  will  have  your  head  throughly  purged. 
Pray  tell  me,  Menechmus,  what  use  you  to  drink  ?  white 
wine,  or  claret? 

Men.  Cit.  What  the  devil  carest  thou  ? 

Sen.  [aside  to  Med. ]    Look,  his  fit  now  begins.  24 

Men.  Cit.  Why  dost  not  as  well  ask  me  whether  I  eat 
bread,  or  cheese,  or  beef,  or  porridge,  or  birds  that  bear 
feathers,  or  fishes  that  have  fins  ? 

Sen.  [aside  to  Med.]    See  what  idle  talk  he  falleth  into. 

Med.  [aside  to  Sen.]  Tarry ;  I  will  ask  him  further. 
[To  Men.  Cit.]  Menechmus,  tell  me,  be  not  your  eyes 
heavy  and  dull  sometimes?  31 

Men.  Cit.  What,  dost  think  I  am  an  owl  ? 

Med.  Do  not  your  guts  gripe  ye,  and  croak  in  your  belly  ? 

Men.  Cit.  When  I  am  hungry  they  do,  else  not. 

Med.  He  speaks  not  like  a  madman  in  that.  Sleep  ye 
soundly  all  night?  36 

Men  Ctt.  When  I  have  paid  my  debts  I  do.  The  mis 
chief  light  on  thee,  with  all  thy  frivolous  questions  ! 

Med.  Oh,  now  he  rageth  upon  those  words  :  take  heed. 

Sen.  Oh,  this  is  nothing  to  the  rage  he  was  in  even  now. 
He  called  his  wife  bitch,  and  all  to  nought.  41 

Men.  Cit.  Did  I  ? 

Sen.   Thou  did'st,  mad  fellow,   and  threatened'st  to  ride 


96  IMMO   IBO   DOMUM 

etiam  me  iunctis  quadrigis  minitatu's  prosternere. 
egomet  haec  te  uidi  facere,  egomet  haec  ted  arguo. 
Men.  at  ego  te  sacram  coronam  surrupuisse  loui'  (scio), 
et  ob  earn  rem  in  carcerem  ted  esse  compactum  scio, 
et  postquam  es  emissus,  caesum  uirgis  sub  furca  scio ;          40 
turn  patrem  occidisse  et  matrem  uendidisse  etiam  scio. 
satin  haec  pro  sano  male  dicta  male  dictis  respondeo  ? 
Se.  opsecro  hercle,  medice,  propere  quidquid  facturu's  face, 
non   uides  hominem  insanire  ?     Med.  scin   quid  facias  £44 

optumum  est  ? 

ad  me  face  uti  deferatur.     Se.  itane  censes  ?  Med.     quippini  ? 
ibi  meo  arbitratu  potero  curare  hominem.     Se.  age  ut  lubet. 
Med.  elleborum  potabis  faxo  aliquos  uiginti  dies. 
Men.  at  ego  te  pendentem  fodiam  stimulis  triginta  dies. 
Med.  i,  arcesse  homines  qui  illunc  ad  me  deferant.     Se.  quot 

sunt  satis  ? 

Med.  proinde  ut  insanire  uideo,  quattuor,  nihilo  minus.       50 
Se.  iam  hie  erunt.     adserua  tu  istunc,  medice.      Med.  immo 

ibo  domum, 

ut  parentur  quibu'  paratis  opus  est.     tu  seruos  iube 
hunc   ad   me  ferant.      Se.  iam   ego   illic   faxo   erit.      Med. 

abeo. —     Se.  uale. — 

Men.  abiit    socerus,   abit    medicus.     nunc    solus    sum.     pro 

luppiter  ! 

quid  illuc  est  quod  med  hisce  homines  insanire  praedicant  ?  5  5 
nam-  equidem,    postquam    gnatus    sum,    numquam    aegrotaui 

unum  diem 


A   PRESSING  ENGAGEMENT  97 

over  me  here  with  a  chariot  and  horses,  and  to  kill  me,  and 
tear  me  in  pieces.     This  thou  did'st :   I  know  what  I  say.  45 

Men.   Cit.  I   say,  thou  stolest  Jupiter's  crown  from    hi 
head,  and  thou  wert  whipped  through  the  town  for  it,  and 
that  thou  hast  killed  thy  father,  and  beaten  thy  mother.     Do 
ye  think  that  I  am  so  mad  that  I  cannot  devise  as  notable_ 
lies  of  you  as  you  do  of  me  ?  50 

Sen.  Master  Doctor,  pray  heartily  make  speed  to  cure  him. 
See  you  not  how  mad  he  waxeth  ? 

Med.   I'll  tell  ye,  he  shall  be  brought  over  to  my  house, 
and  there  I  will  cure  him. 

Srn.  Is  that  best  ?  55 

Med.  What  else  ?     There  I  can  order  him  as  I  list. 

Sen.  Well,  it  shall  be  so. 

Med.  Oh,  sir,  I  will  make  you  take  neesing  powder  this 
twenty  days. 

Men.  Cit.   I'll   beat  ye  first  with  a  bastinado  this  thirty 
days.  6 1 

Med.   Fetch  men  to  carry  him  to  my  house. 

Sen.  How  many  will  serve  the  turn  ? 

Med.  Being  no  madder  than  he  is  now,  four  will  serve.      64 

Sen.  I'll  fetch  them.     Stay  you  with  him,  Master  Doctor. 

Med.  No,  by  my  faith :  I'll  go  home  to  make  ready  all 
things  needful.     Let  your  men  bring  him  hither. 

Sen.   I  go.  Exeunt  [Sen.  am/Med.J. 

Men.   Cit.   Are    they    both     gone?      Good    gods,    what 
meaneth  this  ?    These  men  say  I  am  mad,  who  without  [70 

H 


98  BONUS   SERVUS 

neque  ego  insanio  neque  pugnas  neque  ego  litis  coepio. 
saluos  saluos  alios  uideo,  noui  (ego)  homines,  adloquor 
an  illi  perperam  insanire  me  aiunt,  ipsi  insaniunt  ? 
quid  ego  nunc  faciam  ?  domum  ire  cupio  :  uxor  non  sinit ;  60 
hue  autem  nemo  intromittit.     nimi'  prouentum  est  nequiter. 
hie  ero  usque ;  ad  noctem  saltern,  credo,  intromittar  domum. 


SCAENA  VI 

M  E  S  SEN  10. 

Mes.  Spectamen  bono  seruo  id  est,  qui  rem  erilem 
procurat,  uidet,  conlocat  cogitatque, 
ut  apsente  ero  rem  eri  diligenter 

tutetur  quam  si  ipse  adsit  aut  rectius. 
tergum  quam  gulam,  crura  quam  uentrem  oportet  5 

potiora  esse  quoi  cor  modeste  situmst. 

recordetur  id,  qui  nihili  sunt,  quid  eis  preti 
detur  ab  suis  eris,  ignauis,  inprobis  uiris : 

uerbera,  compedes, 
molae,  [magna]  lassitudo,  fames,  frigu'  durum,  10 

haec  pretia  sunt  ignauiae. 

id  ego  male  malum  metuo :  propterea  bonum  esse  certumst 

potius 

quam  malum  ;  na"m  magi'  mu'to  patior  faciliu'  uerba  :  uerbera 

ego  odi, 
nimioque  edo  lubentius  molitum  quam  molitum  praehibeo. 


THE   GOOD    SERVANT  99 

doubt  are  mad  themselves.  I  stir  not,  I  fight  not,  I  am 
not  sick.  I  speak  to  them,  I  know  them.  Well,  what 
were  I  now  best  to  do  ?  I  would  go  home,  but  my  wife 
shuts  me  forth  a  doors.  Erotium  is  far  out  with  me  too. 
Even  here  I  will  rest  me  till  the  evening:  I  hope  by  [75 
that  time,  they  will  take  pity  on  me.  [_Seats  himself  apart.  ^ 

SCENE  VI 

Enter  MESSENIO,  the  Traveller's  servant,   \_and 
another  servant^. 

*  Mess.  The  proof  of  a  good  servant,  is  to  regard  his 
master's  business  as  well  in  his  absence  as  in  his  presence  ;  and 
I  think  him  a  very  fool  that  is  not  careful  as  well  for  his  ribs 
and  shoulders,  as  for  his  belly  and  throat.  When  I  think  upon 
the  rewards  of  a  sluggard,  I  am  ever  pricked  with  a  QiJ 
careful  regard  of  my  back  and  shoulders ;  for  in  truth  I  have 

no  fancy  to  these  blows,  as  many  a  one  hath.     Methinks  it  is 

H2 


ioo  VIS    ULTIMA 

proptcrea  eri  imperium  exsequor,  bene  et  sedate  seruo  id  ; 

atque  id  mihi  prodest.  16 

alii  sei  ita  ut  in  rem  esse  ducunt  sint,  ego  ita  ero  ut  me  esse 

oportet ; 

metum    id    mihi   adhibeam,   culpam    apstineam,   ero  ut 
omnibus  in  locis  sim  praesto  : 

serui  qui  quom  culpa  carent  metuont  i  solent  esse  eris 

uti  biles. 

nam  illi  qui  nil  metuont,  postquam  malum  fpromeri-  [20 

tumquef  ei  metuont. 

metuam  hau  multum.    prope  est  quando  fceruso  faciamf 

pretium  exsoluet. 

(eo)  ego  exemplo  seruio,  tergo  ut  in  rem  esse  arbitror. 

postquam  in  tabernam  uassa  et  seruos  conlocaui,  ut  iusserat, 

ita  uenio  aduorsum.     nunc  fores  pultabo,  adesse  ut  me  sciat, 

tneque  utrumf  ex  hoc  saltu  damni  saluom  ut  educam  foras. 

sed  metuo  ne  sero  ueniam  depugnato  proelio.  26 

SCAENA    VII 

SENEX.     MENAECHMVS    I.      MESSENIO.     LORARII. 
Se.   Per   ego  uobis  decs    atque   homines  dico   ut    imperium 

meum 

sapienter  habeatis  curae,  quae  imperaui  atque  impero  : 
facite  illic  homo  iam  in  medicinam  ablatus  sublimen  siet, 
nisi  quidem  uos  uostra  crura  aut  latera  nihili  penditis. 
caue  quisquam  quod  illic  minitetur  uostrum  flocci  fecerit.       5 


THE   LAST   RESORT  101 

no  pleasure  to  a  man  to  be  basted  with  a  rope's  end  two 
or  three  hours  together.  I  have  provided  yonder  in  the  town 
for  all  our  mariners,  and  safely  bestowed  all  my  master's  [10 
trunks  and  fardels  ;  and  am  now  coming  to  see  if  he  be 
yet  got  forth  of  this  dangerous  gulf,  where  1  fear  me  he  is 
overplunged.  Pray  God  he  be  not  overwhelmed  and  past 
help  ere  I  come. 


SCENE  VII 
Enter  SEN  EX,  'with  four  Lorariit  Porters. 

Sen.  Before  gods  and  men,  I  charge  and  command  you, 
sirs,  to  execute  with  great  care  that  which  I  appoint  you :  if 
ye  love  the  safety  of  your  own  ribs  and  shoulders,  then  go 
take  me  up  my  son-in-law,  lay  all  hands  upon  him :  why 


loz  SUBVENITE   GIVES 

quid  statis  ?  quid  dubitatis  ?  iam  sublimen  raptum  oportuit. 
ego  ibo  ad  medicum  :  praesto  ero  illi,  quom  uenietis. 

Men.  occidi ! 

quid  hoc  est  negoti  ?  quid  illisce  homines  ad  me  currunt, 

opsecro  ? 

quid  uoltis  uos  ?  quid  quaeritatis  ?  quid  me  circumsistitis  ? 
quo  rapitis  me  ?  quo  fertis  me  ?  perii,  opsecro  uostram  fidem, 

[10 

Epidamnienses,  subuenite,  ciues  !   quin  me  mittitis  ? 
Mes.  pro  di  inmortales  !    opsecro,  quid  ego  oculis  aspicio 

meis  ? 

erum  meum  indignissume  nescioqui  sublimen  ferunt. 
Men.  ecquis    suppetias  mi   audet  ferre  ?     Mes.  ego,  ere, 

audacissume. 

o  facinus  indignum  et  malum,  Epidamnii  ciues,  erum       1 5 
meum  hie  in  pacato  oppido  luci  deripier  in  uia, 

qui  liber  ad  uos  uenerit ! 

mittite  istunc.     Men.  opsecro  te,  quisquis  es,  operam  mihi  ut 

des 

neu  sinas  in  me  insignite  fieri  tantam  iniuriam. 
Mes.  immo  et  operam  dabo  et  defendam  et  subuenibo  sedulo.  20 
numquam  te  patiar  perire,  me  perirest  aequius. 
eripe  oculum  istic,  ab  umero  qui  tenet,  ere,  te  opsecro. 
hisce  ego  iam  sementem  in  ore  faciam  pugnosque  opseram. 
maxumo  hodie  malo  hercle  uostro  istunc  fertis.     mittite. 
Men.   teneo  ego  huic  oculum.    Mes.  face  ut  oculi  locus  in  [2  5 

capite  appareat. 


HELP,   HELP  !  103 

stand  ye  still  ?  what  do  ye  doubt  ?     I  say,  care  not  for  his   [5 

threatenings,  nor  for  any  of  his  words.     Take  him  up,  and 

bring  him  to  the  Physician's  house  :   I  will  go  thither  before. 

Exit.      \_The  Porters  sieze  Men.] 

Men.  Cit.  What  news  ?  how  now,  masters  ?  what  will  ye 
do  with  me?  why  do  ye  thus  beset  me?  whither  carry  ye 
me?  Help,  help,  neighbours,  friends,  citizens!  10 

Mess.  O  Jupiter,  what  do  I  see  ?  my  master  abused  by  a 
company  of  varlets. 

Men.  Cit.   Is  there  no  good  man  will  help  me  ? 

Mess.  Help  ye,  master  ?  yes,  the  villains  shall  have  my  life 
before  they  shall  thus  wrong  ye.  'Tis  more  fit,  I  should  [15 
be  killed,  than  you  thus  handled.  Pull  out  that  rascal's  eye 
that  holds  ye  about  the  neck  there.  I'll  clout  these  peasants  ; 
out,  ye  rogue ;  let  go,  ye  varlet. 

Men.  Cit.   I  have  hold  of  this  villain's  eye. 

Mess.  Pull  it  out,  and  let  the  place  appear  in  his  head. 
Away  ye  cut-throat  thieves,  ye  murtherers.  2 1 


io4  LIBER   ESTO 

uos  scelesti,  uos  rapaces,  uos  praedones  !     Lo.  periimus  ! 
opsecro  hercle !      Mes.  mittite  ergo       Men.   quid  me  uobis 

tactiost  ? 

pecte  pugnis.     Mes.  agite  abite,  fugite  hinc  in  malam  crucem 
em  tibi  etiam  !   quia  postremus  cedis,  hoc  praemi  feres, 
nimi*  bene  ora  commetaui  atque  ex  mea  sententia.  30 

edepol,  ere,  ne  tibi  suppetias  temperi  adueni  modo. 
Men.  at  tibi  di  semper,  adulescens,  quisquis  es,  faciant  bene. 
nam  apsque  ted  esset,   hodie  numquam   ad  solem  occasum 

uiuerem. 

Mes.  ergo  edepol,  si  recte  facias,  ere,  med  emittas  manu. 
Men.  Jiberem  ego  te  ?     Mes.  uerum,  quandoquidem,  ere,  [35 

te  seruaui.     Men.   quid  est  ? 

adulescens,    erras.     Mes.    quid,    erro  ?     Men.    per     louem 

adiuro  patrem, 
med  erum  tuom   non   esse.     Mes.  non    taces  ?     Men.  non 

mentior  ; 

nee  meu*  seruos  numquam  tale  fecit  quale  tu  mihi. 
Mes.  sic  sine  igitur  si  tuom  negas  me  esse,  abire  liberum. 
Med.  mea  quid  em  hercle  caussa  liber  esto  atque  ito  quo  uoles. 

[40 

Mes.  nemp'  iubes  ?     Men.  iubeo  hercle,  si  quid  imperi  est  in 

te  mihi. 

Mes.   salue,  mi  patrone.      *  quom  tu  liber  es,  Messenio, 
gaudeo.'     credo  hercle  uobis.     sed,  patrone,  te  opsecro, 
ne  minus  impercs  mihi  quam  quom  tuos  seruos  fui. 
apud  ted  habitabo  et  quando  ibis,  una  tecum  ibo  domum.    45 


BE    FREE    FOR   MY  PART  105 

Lo.  Omnes.   Oh,  oh,  ay  !  \_Cry  pitifully. ~\ 

Mess.  Away,  get  ye  hence,  ye  mongrels,  ye  dogs.  Will 
ye  be  gone?  Thou  rascal  behind  there,  I'll  give  thee 
somewhat  more,  take  that.  \_Exeunt  Lorarii.]  It  was  [25 
time  to  come,  master  ;  you  had  been  in  good  case,  if  I  had 
not  been  here  now.  I  told  you  what  would  come  of  it. 

Men.  Cit.  Now  as  the  gods  love  me,  my  good  friend,  I 
thank  thee  :  thou  hast  done  that  for  me  which  I  shall  never 
be  able  to  requite.  30 

Mess.  I'll  tell  ye  how,  sir ;  give  me  my  freedom. 

Men.  Cit.   Should  I  give  it  thee  ? 

Mess.  Seeing  you  cannot  requite  my  good  turn. 

Men.  Cit.  Thou  art  deceived,  man. 

Mess.  Wherein?  35 

Men.  Cit.  On  mine  honesty,  I  am  none  of  thy  master  ;  I 
had  never  yet  any  servant  would  do  so  much  for  me. 

Mess.  Why  then  bid  me  be  free  :   will  you  ? 

Men.  Cit.  Yea,  surely :  be  free,  for  my  part. 

Mess.  Oh,  sweetly  spoken ;  thanks,  my  good  master.    40 

Struus  alius.  Messenio,  we  are  all  glad  of  your  good 
fortune. 

Mess.  Oh,  master,  I'll  call  ye  master  still.  I  pray  use  me 
in  any  service  as  ye  did  before.  I'll  dwell  with  you  still ; 
and  when  ye  go  home,  I'll  wait  upon  you.  45 

Men.  Cit.  Nay,  nay,  it  shall  not  need. 


106  NIMIA   MIRA 

Men.   minime.      Mes,   nunc    ibo    in    tabernam,    uassa    atque 

argentum  tibi 

referam.     recte  est  opsignatum  in  uidulo  marsuppium 
cum  uiatico :  id  tibi  iam  hue  adferam.      Men.  adfer  strenue. 
Mes.   saluom  tibi  ita  ut  mihi  dedisti  reddibo.      hie  me  mane. — 
Men.  nimia  mira  mihi  quidem  hodie  exorta  sunt  miris  modis:  50 
alii  me  negant  eum  esse  qui  sum  atque  excludunt  foras  ; 
etiam  hie  seruom  se  meum  esse  aiebat  quern  ego  emisi  manu, 
[uel  ille  qui  se  petere  argentum  modo,  qui  seruom  se  meum 
esse  aiebat,  (med  erum  suom),  quern  ego  modo  emisi  manuj 
is  ait  se  mihi  adlaturum  cum  argento  marsuppium  :  5  5 

id  si  attulerit,  dicam  ut  a  me  abeat  liber  quo  uolet, 
ne  turn,  quando  sanus  factus  sit,  a  me  argentum  petat. 
socer  et  medicus  me  insanire  aiebant.      quid  sit  mira  sunt. 
haec  nihilo  esse  mihi  uidentur  setius  quam  somnia. 
nunc  ibo  intro  ad  hanc  meretricem,  quamquam  suscenset   [60 

mihi, 
si  possum  exorare  ut  pallam  reddat  quam  referam  domum. — 


SCAENA    VIII 

MENAECHMVS    II.          MESSENIO. 

Men.  Men  hodie  usquam  conuenisse  te,  audax,  audes  dicere, 
postquam  aduorsum  mi  imperaui  ut  hue  uenires  ?     Mes.   quin 

modo 
erupui,  homines  qui  ferebant  te  sublimen  quattuor, 


PERPLEXITIES  107 

Mess.  I'll  go  straight  to  the  Inn,  and  deliver  up  my 
accounts,  and  all  your  stuff.  Your  purse  is  locked  up  safely 
sealed  in  the  casket,  as  you  gave  it  me.  I  will  go  fetch  it 
to  you.  5° 

Men.  Cit.  Do,  fetch  it. 

Mess.  I  will.  [£*/'/.] 

Men.  Cit.  I  was  never  thus  perplexed.  Some  deny  me 
to  be  him  that  I  am,  and  shut  me  out  of  their  doors.  This 
fellow  saith  he  is  my  bondman,  and  of  me  he  begs  his  £55 
freedom :  he  will  fetch  my  purse  and  money.  Well,  if  he 
bring  it,  I  will  receive  it,  and  set  him  free.  I  would  he 
would  so  go  his  way.  My  old  father-in-law  and  the  doctor 
say  I  am  mad.  Whoever  saw  such  strange  demeanours  ? 
Well,  though  Erotium  be  never  so  angry,  yet  once  [60 
again  I'll  go  see  if  by  entreaty  I  can  get  the  cloak  on  her  to 
carry  to  my  wife.  Exit. 

SCENE  VIII 

Enter  MENECHMUS  the  Traveller,  and  MESSENIO. 
Men.  Tra.  Impudent  knave,  wilt  thou  say  that  I  ever  saw 
thee  since  I  sent  thee  away  to-day,  and  bade  thee  come  for 
me  after  dinner  ? 

Mess.  Ye  make  me  stark  mad:  I  took  ye  away,  and 
rescued  ye  from  four  great  big-boned  villains,  that  were  [5 


io8  QUID   EGO   VIDEO 

apud  hasce  aedis.      tu  clamabas  deum  fidem  atque  hominum 

omnium, 

quom  ego  accurro  teque  eripio  ui,  pugnando,  ingratiis.  5 

ob  earn  rem,  quia  te  seruaui,  me  amisisti  liberum. 
quom  argentum  dixi  me  peter e  et  uasa,  tu  quantum  potest 
praecucurristi  obuiam,  ut  quae  fecisti  infitias  eas. 
Men.  liberum  ego  te  iussi  abire  ?     Mes.   certo.      Men.   quin 

certissumumst 
mepte  potius  fieri  seruom  quam  te  umquam  emittam  manu.  10 

MENAECHMVS  I.         MESSENIO. 
MENAECHMVS  II. 

Men.1   Si  uoltis  per  oculos  iurare,  nihilo  hercle  ea  caussa 

magis 

facietis  ut  ego  hodie  apstulerim  pallam  et  spinter,  pessumae. 

Mes.  pro  di   inmortales !    quid  ego  uideo  ?     Men.***  quid 

uides  ?     Mes.   speculum  tuoni. 

Afen.*  quid  negoti  est  ?     Mes.  tuast  imago,     tarn  consimilest 

quam  potest. 

Men.2  pol  profecto  baud  est  dissimilis,  meam  quom  formam 

noscito.    [5 

Men.1  o  adulescens,  salue,  qui  me  seruauisti,  quisquis  es. 
Mes.  adulescens,  quaeso  hercle  eloquere  tuom  mihi  nomen, 

nisi  piget 
Men.1  non  edepol  ita  promeruisti  de  me  ut  pigeat  quae  uelis 


A   COMEDY   OF   ERRORS  109 

carrying  ye  away  even  here  in  this  place.  Here  they  had 
ye  up  ;  you  cried  Help,  help  !  I  came  running  to  you  :  you 
and  I  together  beat  them  away  by  main  force.  Then  for 
my  good  turn  and  faithful  service,  ye  gave  me  my  free 
dom  :  I  told  ye  I  would  go  fetch  your  casket  :  now  in  [10 
the  meantime  you  ran  some  other  way  to  get  before  me,  and 
so  you  deny  it  all  again. 

Men.  Tra.  I  gave  thee  thy  freedom  ? 

Mess.  You  did. 

Men.  Tra.  When  I  give  thee  thy  freedom,  I'll  be  a 
bondman  myself;  go  thy  ways.  16 

Mess.  Whew,  marry,  I  thank  you  for  nothing. 

Enter  MENECHMUS  the  Citizen,  \Jalking  back  to  EROTIUM  and 
her  maid  within^ . 

Men.  Cit.  Forsworn  queans,  swear  till  your  hearts  ache, 
and  your  eyes  fall  out,  ye  shall  never  make  me  believe  that  I 
carried  hence  either  cloak  or  chain.  20 

Mess.  Oh,  heavens,  master,  what  do  I  see  ? 

Men.  Tra.  What  ? 

Mess.  Your  ghost. 

Men.  Tra.  What  ghost  ? 

Mess.  Your  image,  as  like  you  as  can  be  possible.  2  5 

Men.  Tra.  [looking  at  Men.  Cit.J  Surely  not  much  unlike 
me,  as  I  think. 

Men.  Cit.  O  my  good  friend  and  helper,  well  met :  thanks 
for  thy  late  good  help. 

Mess.  Sir,  may  I  crave  to  know  your  name  ?  30 


no  GEMINI 

(opsequi).     mihi  est  Menaechmo  nomen.    Men*  immo  ede- 

pol  mihi. 

Men.1  Siculus  sum  Syracusanus.     Men.2  ea  domus  et    [10 

patria  est  mihi. 
Men.1  quid  ego  ex  te  audio  ?     Men.2  hoc  quod  res  est. 

Mes.   noui  equidem  hunc  :  erus  est  meus. 
egoquidem  huiius  seruos  sum,  sed  med  esse  huiius  credidi. 
ego  hunc  censebam  ted  esse,  huic  etiam  exhibui  negotium. 
quaeso  ignoscas  si  quid  stulte  dixi  atque  inprudens  tibi. 
Men2  delirare  mihi  uidere  :   non  commeministi  semul          1 5 
te  hodie  mecum  exire  ex  naui  ?     Mes.   enim  uero  aequom 

postulas. 

tu  erus  es  :  tu  seruom  quaere,     tu  salueto  :  tu  uale. 
hunc  ego  esse  aio  Menaechmum.      Men}-  at  ego  me.     Men2 

quae  haec  fabulast  ? 

tu  es  Menaechmus  ?     Men.1  me  esse  dico,  Moscho  prognatum 

patre. 

Men2  tun  meo  patre  es  prognatus?    Men.1  immo  equidem,  [20 

adulescens,  meo  ; 

tuom  tibi  neque  occupare  neque  praeripere  postulo. 
Mes.  di  inmortales,  spem  insperatam  date  mihi  quam  suspico  ! 
nam,  nisi  me  animus  fallit,  hi  sunt  geminei  germanei  duo. 
nam  et  patrem  et  patriam  commemorant  pariter  quae  fuerint 

sibi. 

seuocabo  erum.     Menaechme.     Men.1  Men.2  quid  uis  ?  [25 

Mes.  non  ambos  uolo, 
sed  uter  uostrorum  est  aduectus  mecum  naui,     Men.1  non  ego. 


THE   TWINS  in 

Men.  Cit.  I  were  to  blame  if  I  should  not  tell  thee  any 
thing  ;  my  name  is  Menechmus. 

Men.  Tra.  Nay,  my  friend,  that  is  my  name. 

Men.  Cit.  I  am  of  Syracusis  in  Sicilia. 

Men.  Tra.   So  am  I.  35 

Mess.  Are  you  a  Syracusan  ? 

Men.  Cit.   I  am. 

Mess.  Oho,  I  know  ye  :  this  is  my  master  :  I  thought  he 
there  had  been  my  master,  and  was  proffering  my  service  to 
him.  Pray  pardon  me,  sir,  if  I  said  anything  I  should  not.  40 

Men.  Tra.  Why,  doting  patch,  didst  thou  not  come  with 
me  this  morning  from  the  ship  ? 

Mess.  My  faith,  he  says  true.  This  is  my  master,  you 
may  go  look  ye  a  man.  God  save  ye,  master :  you  sir, 
farewell.  This  is  Menechmus.  45 

Men.  Cit.  I  say,  that  I  am  Menechmus. 

Mess.  What  a  jest  is  this  ?   Are  you  Menechmus  ? 

Men.  Cit.  Even  Menechmus,  the  son  of  Moschus. 

Men.  Tra.  My  father's  son  ? 

Men.  Cit.  Friend,  I  go  about  neither  to  take  your  father 
nor  your  country  from  you.  5 1 

Mess.  [aside~\  Oh,  immortal  gods,  let  it  fall  out  as  I  hope  ; 
and  for  my  life  these  two  are  the  two  twins,  all  things  agree 
to  jump  together.  I  will  speak  to  my  master.  Menechmus. 

Both.  What  wilt  thou?  55 

Mess.  I  call  you  not  both :  but  which  of  you  came  with 
me  from  the  ship  ? 


ii2  MIRA    MEMORAS 

Men.  at  ego.      Hfes.  te  uolo  igitur.     hue  concede.      Men? 

concessi.      quid  est 

Mes.   illic  homo  aut  sycophanta  aut  geminus  est  frater  tuos. 
nam  ego  hominem  hominis  similiorem  numquam  uidi  alterum. 
neque  aqua  aquae  nee  lacte  est  lactis,  crede  mi,  usquam  [30 

similius 

quam  hie  tui  est,  tuque  huiius  autem  ;  poste  eandem  patriam 

ac  patrem 

memorat.     meliust  nos  adire  atque  hunc  percontarier. 
Men.2  hercle  qui  tu  me  admonuisti  recte  et  habeo  gratiam. 
perge  operam  dare,  opsecro  hercle ;  liber  esto,  si  inuenis 
hunc  meum  fratrem  esse.     Mes.   spero.      Men.2  et  ego  [35 

idem  spero  fore. 

Mes.   quid  ais  tu  ?  Menaechmum,  opinor,  te  uocari  dixeras. 
Men.1  ita    uero.     Mes.    huic   item   Menaechmo  nomen  est. 

in  Sicilia 

te  Syracusis  natum  esse  dixisti :  hie  natust  ibi. 
Moschum  tibi  patrem  fuisse  dixti :   huic  itidem  fuit. 
nunc  operam  potestis  ambo  mihi  dare  et  uobis  simul.  40 

Men.1  promeruisti  ut  ne  quid  ores  quod  uelis  quin  impetres. 
tarn  quasi  me  emeris  argento,  liber  seruibo  tibi. 
Mes.   spes  mihi  est  uos  inuenturum  fratres  germanos  duos 
geminos,  una  matre  natos  et  patre  uno  uno  die.  44 

Men.1  mira  memoras.    utinam  ecficere  quod  pollicitu's  possies. 
Mes.   possum.       sed    nunc    agite  uterque    id    quod    rogabo 

ditice. 
Men.1  ubi  lubet,  roga  :  respondebo.     nil  reticebo  quod  sciam. 


HAPPY  NEWS  113 

Men.  Cit.  Not  I. 

Men.  Tra.   I  did. 

Mess.   Then  I  call  you.      Come  hither.  60 

Men.  Tra.  What's  the  matter  ? 

Mess,  [aside  to  Men.  Tra.]  This  same  is  either  some 
notable  cozening  juggler,  or  else  it  is  your  brother  whom 
we  seek.  I  never  saw  one  man  so  like  another :  water  to 
water,  nor  milk  to  milk,  is  not  liker  than  he  is  to  you.  65 

Men.  Tra.  [aside  to  Mess.]  Indeed  I  think  thou  sayest 
true.  Find  it  that  he  is  my  brother,  and  I  here  promise 
thee  thy  freedom. 

Mess,  [aside  'to  Men.  Tra.]  Well,  let  me  about  it.  [70 
Men.  Cit.]  Hear  ye,  sir;  you  say  your  name  is  [70 
Menechmus. 

Men.  Cit.   I  do. 

Mess.  So  is  this  man's.      You  are  of  Syracusis  ? 

Men.  Cit.  True. 

Mess.  So  is  he.     Moschus  was  your  father  ?  7  5 

Men.  Cit.  He  was. 

Mess.  So  was  he  his.  What  will  you  say,  if  I  find  that 
ye  are  brethren  and  twins  ? 

Men.  Cit.  I  would  think  it  happy  news. 

Mess.  Nay  stay,  masters  both  :  I  mean  to  have  the  honour 
of  this  exploit.  Answer  me  :  your  name  is  Menechmus  ?  8 1 

i 


ii4  COMPLECTAR 

Mes.  est  tibi  nomen  Menaechmo  ?     Men.1  fateor.     Mes.  est 

itidem  tibi  ? 

Men.2  est.    Mes.  patrem  fuisse  Moschum  tibi  ais  ?   Men.1  ita 

uero.     Men.2  et  mihi. 

Mes.  esne  tu  Syracusanus  ?    Men.1  certo.  Mes.  quid  tu  ?    [50 

Men.2  quippini  ? 

Mes.  optume  usque  adhuc  conueniunt  signa.     porro  operam 

date. 

quid  longissume  meministi,  die  mihi,  in  patria  tua  ? 
Men.1  cum  patre  ut  abii  Tarentum  ad  mercatum,  postea 
inter  homines  me  deerrare  a  patre  atque  inde  auehi. 
Men.2  luppiter  supreme,  serua  me  !     Mes.  quid  clamas  ?    5  5 

quin  taces  ? 

quot  eras  annos  gnatus  quom  te  pater  a  patria  |  auehit  ? 
Men.1  septuennis :  nam  tune  dentes  mihi  cadebant  primulum. 
neque  patrem  numquam  postilla   uidi.     Mes.   quid  ?  uos  turn 

patri 

filii  quot  eratis  ?     Men.1  ut  nunc  maxume  memini,  duo. 
Mes.  uter  eratis,  tun  an  ille,  maior  ?    Men.1  aeque  ambo   [60 

pares. 

Mes.    qui  id  potest  ?     Men.1  geminei  ambo  eramus.     Men2 

di  me  seruatum  uolunt. 

Mes.  si  interpellas,  ego  tacebo.     Men2  potius  taceo.     Mes. 

die  mihi : 

uno  nomine  ambo  eratis  ?    Men.1  minime.  nam  mihi  hoc  erat, 
quod  nunc  est,  Menaechmo  :  ilium  turn  uocabant  Sosiclem. 
Men2  signa  adgnoui,  contineri  quin  complectar  non  queo.  65 


BROTHER,   LET   ME    EMBRACE   THEE     115 

Men.  Cit.  Yea. 

Mess.  And  yours  ? 

Men.  Tra.  And  mine. 

Mess.  You  are  of  Syracusis  ?  85 

Men  Cit.  I  am. 

Men.  Tra.   And  I. 

Mess.  Well,  this  goeth  right  thus  far.  What  is  the 
farthest  thing  that  you  remember  there  ? 

Men.  Cit.  How  I  went  with  my  father  to  Tarentum,  to  a 
great  mart,  and  there  in  the  press  I  was  stolen  from  him.  9 1 

Men.  Tra.   O  Jupiter  ! 

Mess.  \_to  Men.  Tra.]  Peace,  what  exclaiming  is  this? 
\_To  Men.  Cit.]  How  old  were  ye  then  ?  94 

Men.  Cit.  About  seven  year  old  :  for  even  then  I  shed 
teeth,  and  since  that  time  I  never  heard  of  any  of  my 
kindred. 

Mess.   Had  ye  never  a  brother  ? 

Men.  Cit.  Yes,  as  I  remember,  I  heard  them  say,  we  were 
two  twins.  100 

Men.  Tra.   Oh,  Fortune  ! 

Mess.  Tush,  can  ye  not  be  quiet  ?  Were  ye  both  of  one 
name  ? 

Men.  Cit.  Nay,  as  I  think,  they  called  my  brother, 
Sosiclej.  105 

Men.  Tra.  It  is  he.  What  need  further  proof?  Oh, 
brother,  brother,  let  me  embrace  thee ! 

I  2 


n6  ENUCLEATIO 

mi  germane,  gemine  frater,  salue.     ego  sum  Sosicles. 
Men.1  quo  modo  igitur  post  Menaechmo  nomen  est  factum 

tibi? 

Men?  postquam  ad  nos  renuntiatum  est  te     *       *       *       * 
*****       ***et  patrem  esse  mortuom, 
auo'  noster  mutauit :  quod  tibi  nomen  est,  fecit  mihi.          70 
Men.1  credo  ita  esse  factum  ut  dicis.     sed  mih    noc  responde. 

Men.2  roga. 

Men.1  quid  erat  nomen  nostrae  matri  ?    Men?  Teuximarchae. 

Men.1   conuenit. 

o  salue,  insperate,  annis  multis  post  quern  conspicor. 
Men.12  frater,  et  tu,  quern  ego  multeis  miserieis,  laboribus 
usque  adhuc  quaesiui  quemque  ego  esse  inuentum  gaudeo.    75 
Mes.  hoc  erat  quod  haec  te  meretrix  huius  uocabat  nomine  : 
hunc  censebat  te  esse,  credo,  quom  uocat  te  ad  prandium. 
Men.1  namque  edepol  iussi  hie   mihi  hodie  prandium  appa- 

rarier, 

clam  meam  uxorem,  quoi  pallam  surrupui  dudum  domo, 
earn  dedi  huic.   Men.2  hanc,  dicis,  frater,  pallam  quam  ego  [80 

habeo  ?    Men.1    (haec  east). 

quo  modo  haec  ad  te  peruenit  ?       Men.1    meretrix   hue  ad 

prandium 

me  abduxit,  me  sibi  dedisse  aiebat.     prandi  perbene 
potaui  atque  accubui  scortum,  pallam  et  aurumhoc  (apstuli). 
Men.1  gaudeo  edepol  si  quid  propter  me  tibi  euenit  boni. 
nam  ilia  quom  te  ad  se  uocabat,  memet  esse  credidit.  85 

Mes.  numquid  me  morare  quin  ego  liber,  ut  iusti,  siem  ? 


THE   CLUES   DISENTANGLED  117 

Men.  Ctt.  Sir,  if  this  be  true,  I  am  wonderfully  glad  :  but 
how  is  it  that  ye  are  called  Menechmus  ?  109 

Men.  Tra.  When  it  was  told  us  that  you  and  our  father 
were  both  dead,  our  grandsire,  in  memory  of  my  father's 
name,  changed  mine  to  Menechmus. 

Men.  Cit.  'Tis  very  like  he  would  do  so  indeed.  But  let 
me  ask  ye  one  question  more  :  what  was  our  mother's  name  ? 

Men.  Tra.  Theusimarche.  1 1  5 

Men.  Cit.  Brother,  the  most  welcome  man  to  me,  that  the 
world  holdeth ! 

Men.  Tra.  I  joy,  and  ten  thousand  joys  the  more,  having 
taken  so  long  travel  and  huge  pains  to  seek  you.  1 1 9 

Mess.  See  now,  how  all  this  matter  comes  about.  Thus  it 
was  that  the  gentlewoman  had  ye  in  to  dinner,  thinking  it  had 
been  he. 

Men.  Cit.  True  it  is  I  willed  a  dinner  to  be  provided  for 
me  here  this  morning  ;  and  I  also  brought  hither  closely  a 
cloak  of  my  wife's,  and  gave  it  to  this  woman.  125 

Men.  Tra.   Is  not  this  the  same,  brother  ? 

Men.  Cit.  How  came  you  by  this  ? 

Men.  Tra.  This  woman  met  me ;  had  me  in  to  dinner  ; 
entertained  me  most  kindly  ;  and  gave  me  this  cloak,  and  this 
chain.  130 

Men.  Cit.  Indeed  she  took  ye  for  me :  and  I  believe  I 
have  been  as  strangely  handled  by  occasion  of  your  coming. 

Mess.  You  shall  have  time  enough  to  laugh  at  all  these 
matters  hereafter.  Do  ye  remember,  master,  what  ye  promised 
me?  135 


u8  10   TRIUMPHE 

Men.1  optumum  atque  aequissumum  oral,  frater :  far  caussa 

mea. 

Men.2  liber  esto.      Men.1  quom  tu  es  liber,  gaudeo,  Messenio. 
Mes.  sed  meliorest  opus  auspicio,  ut  liber  perpetuo  siem. 
Men.z  quoniam  haec  euenere,  frater,  nostra  |  ex  sententia,  90 
in  patriam  redeamus  ambo.     Men.1  frater,  faciam,  ut  tu  uoles. 
auctionem  hie  faciam  et  uendam  quidquid  est.     mine  interim 
eamus  intro,  frater.     Men.2  fiat.     Mes.  scitin  quid  ego  uos 

rogo. 

Men.1  quid  ?    Mes.  praeconium  mi  ut  detis.    Men?1  dabitur. 

Mes.  ergo  nunciam 

uis  conclamari  auctionem  ?  Men.1  fore  quidem  dieseptumi.  95 
Mes.  auctio  fiet  Menaechmi  mane  sane  septumi. 
uenibunt  serui,  supellex,  fundi,  aedes,  omnia. 

^uenibunt  quiqui  licebunt,  praesenti  pecunia. 
uenibit — uxor  quoque  etiam,  si  quis  emptor  uenerit. 
uix  credo  tota  auctione  capiet  quinquagesies.  100 

nunc,  spectatores,  ualete  et  nobis 


FINIS 


10   TRIUMPHE  119 

Men.  Cit.  Brother,  I  will  entreat  you  to  perform  your 
promise  to  Messenio  :  he  is  worthy  of  it. 

Men.  Tra.   I  am  content. 

Mess.   lo  Triumphs  !  139 

Men.  Tra.  Brother,  will  ye  now  go  with  me  to  Syracusis  ? 

Men.  Cit.  So  soon  as  I  can  sell  away  such  goods  as  I 
possess  here  in  Epidamnum,  I  will  go  with  you. 

Men.  Tra.  Thanks,  my  good  brother. 

Men.  Cit.  Messenio,  play  thou  the  crier  for  me,  and  make 
a  proclamation.  145 

Mess.  A  fit  office.     Come  on.      Oh  yes  ! 
What  day  shall  your  sale  be  ? 

Men.  Cit.  This  day  sennight.  148 

Mess.  \_cries~\  All  men,  women  and  children  in  Epidam 
num,  or  elsewhere,  that  will  repair  to  Menechmus'  house 
this  day  sennight,  shall  there  find  all  manner  of  things  to 
sell ;  servants,  household  stuff,  house,  ground  and  all ;  so 
they  bring  ready  money.  Will  ye  sell  your  wife  too,  sir  ? 

Men.  Cit.  Yea,  but  I  think  nobody  will  bid  money  for 
her.  155 

Mess.  Thus,  gentlemen,  we  take  our  leaves,  and  if  we 
have  pleased,  we  require  a  Plaudite. 


FINIS 


NOTES 

p.  14.     Peniculus .-   '  a  sponge,'  '  a  brush.' 

p.  22,  1.  49.  « Nay,  further  yet  with  a  will  from  the  lion's 
cave.' 

'  Good  for  ye  !  'tis  pity  ye  were  not  made  a  charioteer  to  drive 
in  a  race,'  who  had  to  look  behind  for  fear  of  a  foul  from  his 
competitors. 

p.  24,  1.  i.  'I  don't  count  you.'  'Then  I  am  in  the  same 
case  as  the  adscriptivi,'  who  were  enrolled  as  reserves  to  fill  the 
places  of  the  killed :  not  on  the  strength  of  the  regiment.  Until 
a  soldier  was  in  numeris,  he  was  not  officially  miles. 

Below,  the  translator  takes  tua  est  legio  as  '  the  legion  is  under 
your  command.'  Is  it  possible  that  legio  is  used  in  its  original 
sense  of  choice? 

'  Drink  for  the  heavens '  I  do  not  understand.  The  old  texts 
read  pro  Ilio .-  perhaps  the  translator  had  caelo'  somewhere  in  his 
copy.  He  paraphrases  freely  here,  however. 

p.  26,  1.  17.      'garter':  girdle. 

p.  26,  1.  20.  '  Thus  .  .  .  lovers  '  probably  belongs  to 
Erotium ;  the  next  line  to  P.  (aside). 

'  mary-bone  ' :  marrow-bone. 

p.  27,  1.  42.      '  lese  ' :  lose. 

p.  28,  1.  3.  M.  says  really  that  he  would  feel  happier  to  see 
his  own  country  again. 

p.  32,  1.  44  omitted  in  trans.  ;  the  author  here  compresses. 

p.  32,  11.  7,  8  are  run  into  one  by  the  old  texts.  The 
Ambr.  shows  that  there  were  two  :  they  seem  to  have  run  thus  : 

Men.  Tra.     A  good  day  to  you,  whoever  you  are. 

Cyl.  Whoever  I  am  I     What  1  don't  you  know  who  I  am  ? 

Men.  Tra.    Not  I,  i'  faith. 

Cylindrus  then  continues  :  Where  are  the  other  guests  ? 

The  first  word  of  1.  8  is  certainly  non,  not  noui,  as  Fleckeisen 
conjectured. 

121 


122     .  NOTES 

The  translation  '  no,  not  I '  must  be  taken  ironically.  Below, 
11.  12-13  are  omitted  ;  the  Ambr.  shows  another  lost  line. 

p.  33,  1.  34,      '  catchpoles,  cony-catchers':  constables,  cheats. 

p.  33,  1.  39.      sine  aamno  :  without  loss. 

p.  34,  1.  22.  Culindrus  should  be  read  here,  with  a  pun  on 
culleus  (leather  bag) ;  Coriendrus,  a  pun  on  corium  (leather). 

p.  36,  1.  36.  hicquldem  :  he  said  I  was  mad,  now  I  see  he 
is  so. 

p.  36,  1.  51.  'Well,  I'll  go  and  see  about  dressing  the 
meat.' 

p.  36,  11.  53-58  compressed. 

p.  38,  i  ff.  The  speech  is  compressed  ;  this  is  so  often 
done  that  it  will  not  be  noted  after  this  except  for  some  special 
reason. 

p.  45,  1.  63.      '  Pythia'  should  be  Phintia. 

(This  succession  is  not  in  the  history.) 

p.  47,  1.  84.     '  dyers  ' :   worker  in  gold  embroidery. 

p.  47,  1.  94.     <  sot ' :  fool. 

p.  49,  1.  95,  'Ay,  master':  there  is  nothing  of  this  in  the  Latin 
peril)  "  I'm  done  for." 

p.  48,  1.  I.     Twenty:    thirty. 

P-  53>  !•  39-  Pediculus :  the  pun  is  not  in  the  Latin,  from 
which  the  trans,  here  departs. 

p.  54.     Ancilla  means  Maid  :   it  is  not  a  proper  name. 

Act  IV.     Mulier :  woman. 

p.  60,  11.  19-21  are  omitted. 

p.  79.     Senex  .-  old  man. 

p.  82,  11.  51-2  are  omitted,  and  the  speech  of  Men.  aside 
inserted. 

p.  91.     Mcdicus  :  Physician. 

The  last  speech  of  Men.  Tra.  comes  after  the  first  speech  of  Sen.; 
the  translator  has  compressed  it. 

p.  105,  1.  41*  Servus  allus :  another  slave.  He  is  not  in  the 
original  caste. 

p.  109,  1.  17.     <Whew  .   .   .':    not  in  text. 

p.  113,  1.  70.  This  quick  dialogue  is  a  paraphrase  of  a  longer 
speech  of  Messenio. 

p.  119,  1.  157.  Plaudits:  please  applaud.  This  was  the  actors' 
appeal  at  the  end  of  a  play. 


RICHARD  CLAY  &  SONS,  LIMITED, 

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1912