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Full text of "Milford Malvoisin; or, Pews and pewholders"

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THE WARDEN OF BERK1NGHOLT; or, Rich and Poor, 







" Such u do 

Call fin. and word ami dnolatinn 
A irodlj. IhorouRh Rrtbrinati,,., " 



MILFORD MALVOISIN: 



PES AND PEWHOLDERS. 



BY 

FRANCIS E. PAGET, M. A. 

RECTOR OF ELFORD, 
AND CHAPLAIN TO THE LORD BISHOP OP OXFOED. 



" Let us endeavour to restore our Churches to a likeness of that blessed 
Communion of Saints, where all are ona in the Lord, and all stand round 
the throne, hand in hand, and heart in heart, hymning the praises of Him. 
who loved them, and who enabled them to love one another ; and let us 
get rid. as far as we may, of all resemblance to that realm of disunion, 
where every one will be alone, imprisoned in the thick-ribbed ice of his 
own selfishness." ABCHCEACON HAKB. 



LONDON: 

JAMES BURNS, 17 PORTMAN STREET. 

OXFORD : 
JOHN HENRY PARKER. 

XDCCCXLII. 




RUGELEY; 

FEINTED BY JOHN TUOMAS WALTERS, 
MABKBT-PLACB. 



PR 
5115 



TO ONE 

WHOSE GLORIOUS PEIVILEGE IT HAS BEEN 

TO BE THE SOLE FOUNDEESS 

or 

A CHURCH 

FOR THE USE AND BENEFIT OF A POOE AND NEGLECTED 

POPULATION ; AND WHO, 
IN THE AEEANGEMENTS OF THAT CHUECH, 

DID NOT FOEGET, 
THAT WHEEE EICH AND POOE MEET TOGETHEE BEFOEE 

GOD 

THE MAKEE OF THEM ALL, 

THEEE IT IS FITTING THAT THE DISTINCTIONS OF 
WOELDLY EANK SHOULD BE LAID ASIDE, 

Wfa TJoltrau is BeBltatttJ, 

WITH ADMIEATION AND DEEP AFFECTION. 



CONTENTS. 

IV- 
PREFACE ix 

Introduction 1 

33oofe 5L Hfyt puritans. 

CHAPTER I. 
The Wake 17 

CHAPTER II. 
Conscientious Reformers 39 

CHAPTER III. 
Reform in progress 58 

CHAPTER IV. 
The Dormitory 82 

ISoofe BE. Efie CCfiu 

CHAPTER V. 
New Occupants 109 

CHAPTER VI. 
The Intruders 133 

CHAPTER VII. 

The Dogs in the manger 152 

CHAPTER VIII. 
The Sitters and their seats 172 

CHAPTER IX. 
All's well that ends well 196 




IN order to prevent misconception, it seems 
advisable to say a few words in reference to the 
object with which the ensuing tale was written. 
No one can be at all conversant with paro- 
chial matters, without being painfully aware that 
Pews are a never-ending, still-beginning subject 
of animosity and ill-will. It seems as if the sin 
of making worldly distinctions between rich and 
poor in that House where all are equal, had 
brought with it its own punishment from the 
very first, in the strifes and contentions which 
have invariably attended the allotment and pos- 



X 1'REFACE. 

session of Pews. Almost every Clergyman, pro- 
bably, has been called upon to allay angry feel- 
ings, and to endeavour to make peace between 
parties who have contrived to quarrel with one 
another on some point connected with their 
pew-rights, real or imaginary; almost every 
Clergyman, perhaps, has been told by some ill- 
conditioned member of his flock, that he does 
not choose to come to Church till the Church- 
wardens have given him a Pew. 

There seems a reasonable ground, however, 
for hope, that the tide of fashion which has set 
in so long and so steadily in favour of these 
"sleeping -boxes," is at length beginning to turn. 
Good people have become thoroughly ashamed 
of them, and of themselves for having tolerated 
them ; all the new Churches which have any 
pretensions to Catholic arrangement, have got 
rid of them ; and as it generally happens that 
the steady resolution of a few influential persons 



PKEFACE. XI 

constantly directed to one point, is, in the end, 
successful in carrying that point, we may rea- 
sonably expect that when the various Church- 
building Societies have shewn their resolution 
to discourage the system, by withholding grants 
from all Churches in which the erection of in- 
closed seats is contemplated, we shall gradually 
find people disposed to return to open sittings.* 
Meanwhile, there is one circumstance which 
may well cause the lovers of Pews to look with 
apprehension as to the results of the fashion 
of which they are so fond. The Pews of the 
wealthy few have driven, in many places, the 
Poor from our Churches. One great box after 
another has been erected, till there is no longer 

While this sheet is passing through the press, it has been 
announced by the Sub-committee of the Cambridge Camden Society, 
who have been at the pains of inquiring into, and reporting upon, the 
comparative accommodation and expenee of pews and open benches, 
that this very important fact has been established, that where, the 
comparison is most favourable for pew t, with respect to the numbers 
accommodated, pewt involve a lots of twenty per cent as compared 
with open sittings. 



Xii PREFACE. 

room for the humbler ranks of worshippers. 
And what has been the consequence ? The 
many, now rendered lawless and unmanageable, 
because no longer under the constraining influ- 
ence of the Church, are beginning, in our large 
towns, to give the selfish few hints, which it will 
be their wisdom and their safety to profit by ere 
it be too late. " It is not a little striking," as 
Mr. Faber has truly observed in one of his beau- 
tiful tracts on the Church and her Offices, " it 
is not a little striking that in several places of 
late, the people have come in bodies to occupy 
the Churches and Cathedrals, and assert their 
equal right to them. This shows that even this 
trifle has created a soreness, and therefore to a 
thinking person has ceased to be a trifle."* 

" What, then, it may be asked, is it proposed 
to throw our Churches open, like those in fo- 
reign countries, and let the congregation seat 

See Faber's " Churchman's Politics in Disturbed Times," p. 44. 



PREFACE. 



themselves where, and as they can, one day 
here, and another day there, as chance may 
direct, or as places may happen to be vacant ?" 
By no means : all that is insisted on is, the 
necessity of getting rid of distinctions between 
rich and poor in God's House, and utterly 
destroying the great unsightly packing-boxes 
which at present deform our Churches. 

There ought to be in every Church a certain 
number of seats, free and unappropriated, for 
the use of strangers and casual visitors ; but 
these need not form more than a very small 
portion of the whole : all the rest should be 
appropriated; every householder in the parish 
should have a definite place allotted to him, for 
himself and his family. English people have 
inherent in them a sort of independence, which 
coming (rightly or not, I do not say) to Church 
with them, makes them like to feel sure of a seat : 
again, there is another English feeling, shame- 



xiv PRErACL. 

facedness, which ought not to be set at nought 
and which we have all seen painfully roused 
when some young lad or country-woman, on 
arriving at Church, finds their usual seat pre- 
occupied; and, not to mention other circum- 
stances, there does seem somewhat in the Eng- 
lish character and habits which makes appro- 
priated seats desirable. Let all seats, therefore, 
in our Churches, be appropriated (with the 
exception of a few for strangers) ; but let them 
all be uninclosed, of one uniform pattern, 
those for the poor being as good and as well- 
placed as those for the rich, and let them be 
so arranged as that "high and low, rich and 
poor," shall worship "one with another" 

It is the object of the ensuing pages to 
point out the evils of the existing system ; and 
although I do not think it necessary to specify 
distinctly whether any such place as Milford 



PREFACE. XT 

Malvoisin really exists, and have] resolved to 
refer my readers to the Clergy List for further 
particulars respecting the gentleman whose name 
appears at the end of the Introduction, I am 
sanguine in the hope, that even though their 
curiosity should remain ungratified, they will 
give the matters proposed to their notice a very 
serious consideration, and that though as yet 
they may have been lovers of Pews, they will 
henceforward look upon those "eye-sores and 
heart-sores," (as Archdeacon Hare so truly calls 
them) with less tenderness and affection than 
heretofore. 

ptartintnas, 

MDCCCIIJ, 






r MONGr the many passages in 
Walton's Life of Hooker, which 
shew how little the habits and feelings of 
that good man were in accordance with 
the easy and self-satisfied religion of the 
present day, is one which has always 
struck me very forcibly. It is recorded 
of him, that he " did usually every Em- 
ber-Week take from the parish-clerk the 
key of the church-door, into which place 
he retired every day, and locked himself 
up for many hours ; and did the like most Fridays 
B 



2 MILFORD MALVOI8IN. 

and other days of Fasting." A Christian Priest re- 
sorting alone to the scene of his public ministrations, 
(the world shut out, God and His holy angels 
the only witnesses,) for the purpose of bewailing 
with prayer and fasting, with self-examination and 
humiliation, his manifold sins of omission and com- 
mission, his weaknesses, his negligences, and his 
ignorances; kneeling hour after hour before the 
Altar, now prostrate in remorseful contrition for 
the past, now earnestly imploring help and strength 
for the future ; now interceding for his flock, and 
now extending his petitions in behalf of the Holy 
Church throughout all the world ; and this continued, 
week by week, season after season, unseduced by 
the joyous sunshine of the summer's day, undeterred 
by the mist and darkness of winter's cold, through 
years of increasing devotion, and more and more 
austere self-discipline, what a lovely picture is this 
to look upon ! what an example for imitation in these 
evil days ! and how grievous to think (as testifying 
the coldness, lowness, and deadness of the present 
age) that for a clergyman to adopt such a course 
now, would (as indisputably it would) expose him to 



INTRODUCTION. 3 

the charge of religious quixotism, or of leaning to 
Popish observances ! 

I dare not add the humble testimony of my own 
experience in favour of Hooker's pious custom, for 
that which was the result of deep and ardent devo- 
tion in him, has been in my case too irregularly and 
too seldom practised, to be more than the effect of 
mere transient feeling ; and yet the interior of a 
Church, during the silence and solitude of its week- 
day desertion, would be no untried place of medita- 
tion with me. There is one venerable and dearly- 
loved fabric especially, which I now seldom see, but 
into which, whenever I am able to revisit it, I never 
fail to enter, and linger alone amid its aisles, and hold 
communion with the unseen world around me. It is 
there that my childish feet first trod on holy ground ; 
there, with mingled feelings of pride in being admit- 
ted to so great a privilege, of wonder, and of awe, 
I first heard the public service of the Church, and 
tried to follow and love the prayers which I long had 
known that all good people loved. There, as Christ- 
mas after Christmas returned through all the happy 
years of boyhood, I was sure to find myself in all the 

B2 



4 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

bliss of family re-union, with the same dear friends 
and companions beside me, and the same associations, 
the same ' admonitus locorum et temporum,' grow- 
ing stronger year by year. There I have lived to 
offer up the prayers, and administer the blessed Sa- 
craments. There, I have seen kinsfolk and acquain- 
tance committed to the dust in sure and certain hope ; 
there, are some sleeping whom T have loved as I 
never can love again ; there, now that my own work 
is nearly done, I would gladly lay my bones beside 
their bones, and not part in death with those from 
whom in life I was not divided ! 

It was in the closing hours of an autumn day 
that I last paid my solitary visit to this dear old pile. 
The wind was high without, and the withering leaves 
were whirled in eddies against the lattices which 
rattled in the blast: but this was the only sound 
that greeted my ears ; and though in parts of the sa- 
cred edifice the light was growing obscure and dim, 
(for it lies embosomed among lofty trees,) stih 1 , ever 
and anon, a gleam of the setting sun found its way 
through some of the windows, gilding all the objects 
on which it fell with yellow rays, which gradually 



INTEODUCTIOX. 5 

assumed a ruddier tint, till mergiug into deep crim- 
son, it waxed fainter and fainter, and gradually faded 
away as twilight advanced. 

"And thus," thought I within myself, as I stood 
gazing on shaft, and niche, and monument, glowing 
in ruby light, " thus hath it been year by year, thus 
will it be while this old fabric stands. Evening after 
evening this glorious scene is renewed; morning 
after morning, when the darkness of a few hours is 
past, these walls, the Temple of His presence, and 
round which the faithful dead are sleeping, will be 
silent witnesses of the glory of God, and of the type 
of His revivifying power. ' One day telleth another, 
and one night certifieth another: there is neither 
speech nor language, but their voices are heard 
among them.' " 

" And while day and night have thus rolled on, 
preaching with mute eloquence to such as would 
receive it, how many varying emotions have agi- 
tated the breasts of those who have worshipped 
within these walls ! the bridegroom in his joy and 
pride, the mother bending at the font over her 
new-born child, the mourner weeping over the dead 



6 MILFORD MALVOI8IN. 

whom he is burying out of his sight, all have had 
their deepest feelings in this place ! Then, too, to 
what fervours of devotion, to what exalted faith, to 
what sincere penitence, humility, stedfastness, self- 
resignation, has this House of Prayer been witness ! 
The record of them may have passed away from 
man's remembrance, nay, by man they may never 
have been known ; but they are noted and known, 
registered and preserved, where they will not be for- 
gotten. ' God's kalendar,' as Fuller says, ' is better 
than man's best martyrologies ; and many a name is 
written in the Book of Life, which on earth has passed 
into oblivion.' " 

" Aye, too," I continued, as one course of thought 
led to another, " how great have been the vicissi- 
tudes not merely of human things, but of religion 
herself, since Saxou Herman raised the first rude 
oratory on this site ! how various the phases under 
which our branch of the Church Catholic has ap- 
peared before the eyes of men ! First, as winning 
her way by purity and simplicity, and making head 
against the idolatry of our forefathers ; then, stretch- 
ing forth her boughs as a goodly cedar, taking root, 



INTRODUCTION. 7 

and filling the land ; yet, alas ! waxing wanton with 
temporal prosperity, and defiling herself with error 
and superstition. Next, suffering for her sins in all 
the sacrilege and troubles of the Reformation ; yet, 
rising therefrom, so far purified and exalted, as to 
be deemed worthy to suffer persecution and tempo- 
rary overthrow from that base puritanical faction to 
which the Reformation itself (for essential good is 
rarely unaccompanied with partial evil) was permitted 
to give birth. Then, profiting by the blessing of tri- 
bulation, exerting herself once more, yet soon des- 
tined to become enfeebled under the chilling effects 
of the Revolution, growing more apathetic and 
worldly, as she became more and more enslaved and 
trammelled by the State ; and now, at length, as one 
may hope, awaking from her long, long sleep, trim- 
ming her lamp, girding her loins, putting on her 
strength, and arming herself against the day of bat- 
tle, that great and final contest between good and 
evil, to which the course of all things is so surely 
and rapidly hastening. Manifold, indeed, have been 
these changes; yet, whether they who assert, or 
those who deny the Papal Supremacy, were minis- 



8 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

tering here, these old grey walls have had the same 
calming, soothing influence upon successive gener- 
ations, and have led the thoughts of multitudes to 
that place where all are one in Christ Jesus, to a 
kingdom which is not of this world, to a peace 
which the world can neither give nor take away." 

"And yet a briefer space than eight hundred 
years," it was thus the train of meditation pro- 
ceeded, "a briefer space than that will suffice to 
tell of the effects of chance and change. Of those 
well-remembered faces which I used to see here 
Sunday after Sunday while I was a child, how few 
are still to be found among us ! The generation 
which then was old, has long since been swept from 
the face of the earth ; and even of my cotemporaries 
but one or two, here and there remain. All the 
brightest, and fairest, and best, all whose natures 
seemed to connect them more with heaven than 
earth, the gentlest, and most single-hearted, the 
true, the innocent, the kindly-affectioned, with 
some few precious exceptions who have been left for 
our comfort and example, have been taken long ago, 
(blessed be God for His mercy in having given them 



INTBODtJCTION. 9 

to us at all !) they have long since entered that land 
where there are more who are like them, than are left 
in this world ! Their sunny locks have been laid in the 
dust; and the green grass is growing, and flowers 
are springing above their heads. And it is well, 
their brows were unfurrowed by care and sorrow, 
and their faces had not gathered blackness through 
sin, and exposure to the world's foul and withering 
air ! It is well : 

1 Requiem eternam dona eis, Domine, 
Et lux perpetua luceat eis !' " 

" But of those who yet survive, some, indeed, like 
myself, though dwelling at a distance, still revisit the 
home of our youth occasionally, but the majority 
are scattered far asunder, with objects, and interests, 
and affections, which have nothing in common with 
those of childhood. And as for the few, the very 
few who have continued here through the whole of 
their pilgrimage, they now seem like spectres haunt- 
ing the scene of their former short-lived happiness ; 
or rather like soldiers seamed and scarred with 
wounds, who are gazing on the tombs of their com- 
rades, and who sigh wistfully, as the features of the 



10 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

dead present themselves to their memories, and 
their once joyous voices come ringing on their ears. 
But when I look on these grey walls, I remember 
that I am but sharing the emotions of whole races of 
Christian pilgrims who have gone before, and if I 
have the same sorrows with them, I may cheer my- 
self with the same hopes, and stay myself on the 
same promises." 

" And yet," I reflected further, as a fresh train 
of thought suggested itself, "though this House of 
God, has in some sense remained the same, amid 
the vicissitudes of ages, even here, as I look around 
me, I can trace the lamentable effects of worldly 
fashion intruding where it ought not, and feel that 
to one who has Catholic feelings it is not the same 
as it was, even within my own recollection. When 
I was a boy, that old, dark cavern of a pew, which, 
hides one half of the rood screen, was the only one 
to be found in this Church. There were none of 
the distinctions of worldly rank kept up in God's 
presence : we all knelt and worshipped side by side, 
high and low, rich and poor, one with another. We 
felt that we were all on an equality, in that all were 



INTRODUCTION. 11 

miserable sinners who needed pardon; in that all 
were petitioners for the same gifts of grace ; in that 
we were all members one of another. But we have 
been gradually forgetting our privileges of Christian 
fellowship, and fostering even in holy things a spirit 
of pride, luxury, and exclusiveness. Scarce a year 
has gone by in which somebody has not craved per- 
mission to erect his pew, the license has been 
granted, and so at length the poor of Christ's flock, 
instead of having (as they ought, if there is to be a 
distinction) the best and choicest places reserved for 
them (as is meet for those who need all possible 
advantages of external aid towards hearing, and 
understanding the service), the poor are forced by 
these encroaching pews nearer and nearer to the 
door, and as far as possible from the officiating 
Minister ; nay, in many places, through the multi- 
tudes of these wicked abominations we have left 
room for no other description of seats in the Church. 
We have thrust forth the poor from the House of 
God, and verily we shall have our reward." 

" Alas, we know not what we are doing ! Our 
pride, our luxury, and our exclusiveness have sue- 



12 M1LFOED MALVOI8IN. 

ceeded in disuniting almost all the ties which of old 
united the several classes of our population : the rich 
have well nigh alienated the hearts of the poor. One 
link yet holds them together, the strongest of all, 
the bond of Church-fellowship : break that, and there 
is nothing left to hold the social system together. 
We have sown the wind ; may God have mercy upon 
those who live to see the whirlwind harvest!" 

The twilight was now gathering so fast around 
me, that I rose from my seat, and quitting the 
Chiirch proceeded homewards ; but the last subject 
on which I had been reflecting still kept its place in 
my thoughts, and as I pondered on the unmitigated 
evil of the pew-system (for indeed I could find no 
one argument in favour of it), and recalled to mind 
the various mischiefs which even within my own 
limited experience have accrued from it, as I 
reflected on the ill-will which it is sure to engender, 
the envy, hatred, malice, and uncharitableness, which 
the possessing or the desire of possessing pews con- 
tinually causes among neighbours, I felt that if the 
subject were once fairly set before right-minded 



INTRODUCTION. 13 

people, if the system was exhibited in its true light 
to them, they would he the first to break through it, 
and by turning their own pews into open sittings, 
shew that in so far as such a trifling act can bear 
witness to it, they are anxious to prove themselves in 
something more than name, disciples of Him, Who 
for our sakes became poor, and of no reputation. 

At least I hoped so ; and considering how I 
might do this in the least offensive way, I thought I 
would trace the history of some pew from its erection 
to its removal, not indeed with any great regularity 
or in a continuous manner, for that would be beside 
my purpose, but just bringing out the chief evils 
of the system as they might develope themselves in 
any parish, and thus endeavouring to make a useful 
book, which may set people thinking, and incline 
them to smile, and perhaps sigh at themselves, and, 
I trust, teach them to think less of themselves and 
their own ease, and more of the Poor of Christ, with 
whom it is their great privilege to be fellow- heirs, 
and fellow-citizens. 

WILLOUGHBY GILPIN. 



" False of heart, light of ear, bloody of 
hand: fox in stealth, wolf in greediness, 
dog in madness, lion in prey" 

SHAKSPBAR- 




CHAPTER I. 



A sect, whose chief devotion lies 
In odd perverse antipathies ; 
la falling out with that or this, 
And finding somewhat still amiss : 
More peevish, cross, and splenetic 
Than dog distract, or monkey sick. 
That with more care keep Holy-day 
The wrong, than others the right way : 
Compound for sins they are inclin'd to ; 
By damning those they have no mind to, 
Still so perverse and opposite, 
As if they worshipp'd God for spite. 



Hudibrat. 



UNTIL within the last few years the little village of 
Milford Malvoisin was as obscure and unfrequented 
a spot as it was at the period when our tale com- 
mences. Though situated in one of the midland 



18 MILFOKU MALVOISIN. 

counties, and at no great distance from the county 
town, it has had the fortune or misfortune of lying 
off the main road, and being only to be approached 
by narrow winding lanes, which in winter are almost 
impassable from the tenacious nature of their marly 
soil, it has come to be looked upon in the neighbour- 
hood as a wild, out-of-the-way place, and beyond its 
vicinity it seems to be so little known that we have 
looked for it in vain in more than one map. An 
event has recently occurred, which, (as it will be 
seen hereafter) has brought the sequestered hamlet 
into connection with one of the most public thorough- 
fares in the kingdom, and this circumstance, together 
with the interest which our readers will of course 
feel in the annals we are about to lay before them, 
will certainly make the locality an illustrious place 
in after times ; but if it does become great, it will 
only be because, as in Malvolio's case, "greatness 
has been thrust upon" it. 

Originally, as its name implies, the powerful Nor- 
man family of the Malvoisins, Mauvisins, or Mavesyns, 
were lords of the manor: but neither old Raoul de 
Malvoisin, to whom it was granted by the Conqueror, 



THE PURITANS. 19 

nor any of his succssors, appear to have resided on 
the spot. The inhabitants have continued from time 
immemorial to be the same description of persons, 
a few small gentry, yeomen, and agricultural labour- 
ers ; and as if every thing connected with it was des- 
tined to remain stationary, its population was very 
much the same from the days of Queen Elizabeth to 
the accession of Queen Victoria. Yet into this seclud- 
ed nook, disloyalty and irreligion found their way ; 
and ^when for the sins of the people the Great 
Rebellion was permitted to burst forth, and over- 
whelm for a time the most valued institutions in 
Church and State, events took place at Milford Mal- 
voisin which exhibited the spirit of Puritanism in its 
true colours. 

The first of May, 1643, was as fine a spring 
morning as ever dawned ; calm, and warm, and 
bright, it was just the May-day of which poets have 
sung, and the young and happy dreamed. March 
winds and April showers were felt no more ; the sun 
was shining in a clear blue sky, the air was soft and 
balmy, the birds were carolling from tree to tree, 



20 MILFOBD MALVOISUf. 

the buds were bursting, the wild flowers opening, 
and the meadows were clothed once more in ten- 
der green ; and if men's inward feelings could have 
taken their impression from what was beautiful and 
exhilarating in the face of nature, instead of being 
acted upon by doubts and fears and all the anxieties 
which must needs arise from connection with this 
evil, darkening world, the congregation which was 
winding its way to the early service at Milford 
Church should have been a right joyous company. 
It was the festival of St. Philip and St. James, the 
Holy Apostles to whom the little church was dedi- 
cated, and consequently the village Wake was about 
to commence. Of old this had been a happy time of 
family re-union and cheerful hospitality. Children 
returned from school or service to visit their parents ; 
friends who had not met for a year before, were now 
mingling in each other's society, and if here and 
there places were vacant which at the last anniver- 
sary were filled, and thoughts of the absent or the 
dead brought tears into the eyes of the survivors, 
there were comforts mingled with the pain, the 
mourners were at least, sorrowing together, they 



THE PUBITANS. 21 

were sharing in feelings with which the stranger 
intermeddleth not. The substantial yeoman spread 
his board, and invited kinsman and neighbour to 
partake of beef and pudding, and potent ale, and 
when he was giving his own feast he did not forget 
his poorer neighbours, for besides the wheat and 
milk for frumenty which he bestowed on his labourers 
as a matter of course, he generally contrived to add 
a portion of meat which should at least suffice for 
dinner on the Wake-Sunday. The May-pole, too, 
was not forgotten ; the same hands that had decked 
it with wreaths and garlands before the sun was 
high, were joined in the merry dance around it, as 
the shades of evening drew on, and a day whose com- 
mencement had been sanctified by prayer and atten- 
dance on the Church's ordinances, and had been 
spent in harmless mirth and social relaxation, was 
now brought to its close unmarked by riot and ex- 
cess ; for the presence and kindly intercourse of all 
ranks of society on such occasions, restrained each 
from forgetting what was due to the other, and the 
unanimous respect which was paid to the Pastor of 
the parish, made young and old desirous that their 



22 MILFORD MALVO1SIN. 

rejoicing should be of a nature which we would love 
to witness. 

But such no longer was the wake at Milford 
Malvoisin ; and the May-day of which we speak had 
none of the characteristics which it bore of old. 
England was now plunged in all the calamities of 
that Civil war, which was not brought to a close till 
the Altar and the Throne were in ruins. The bat- 
tle of Edge-Hill, which had taken place in the pre- 
ceding October, while claimed as a victory by both 
parties, had in reality been indecisive ; and the local 
contests which occurred elsewhere, had not given 
any essential advantage to either party. All that had 
hitherto happened had only tended to exasperate both 
the Royalists and the Rebels, who were now array- 
ed against each other in the bitterest animosity. The 
winter, indeed, passed in comparative calm, but it 
was only a momentary lulling of the tempest ; and 
when spring approached to unlock her treasures, and 
dispense the blessings of the opening year, the fair 
land which she had been so long used to see enjoy- 
ing the blessings of peace, now appeared before her 
as a scene of cruel and bloody discord, in which 



THE PURITANS. 23 

every county, and town, and village, nay, almost 
every family, was divided against itself. 

And Milford Malvoisin formed no exception to 
the general rule. The mass of its population, indeed, 
continued loyal, and desired nothing less than to 
"meddle with those that are given to change;" but 
there were some who were suddenly smitten with 
the love of liberty and Presbyterianism, and these 
made up in noise for what they wanted in number, 
and their behaviour presented a remarkable contrast 
to the quiet inactive bearing of their opponents. 

However, " the Malignants," as it was then the 
fashion to call those who were faithful to their Church 
and King, were not hitherto in that depressed state 
at Milford in which they were to be found elsewhere ; 
and accordingly the numbers who were proceeding 
to church on the festival of which we were speaking, 
were considerable ; but, as we have already intimat- 
ed, there was gloom upon their countenances, and 
they seemed anxious and disheartened. The fact 
was, that tidings had just arrived of an event which 
had taken place three days before, and which was 
anything but encouraging to the Royal prospects, 



24 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

It was told how Colonel Fielding had surrendered 
Beading to the Earl of Essex ; and rumour with her 
thousand tongues had spread the false report that 
Prince Rupert had been slain, and that the King's 
troops were ready to throw down their arms. 

No wonder that at such a time the wonted festi- 
vities of the village wake were laid aside. Few 
cared to visit their friends when the roads were full 
of troopers, whose love of plunder was at least equal 
to their patriotism, and who were seldom content to 
plunder without committing the additional crime of 
evil-intreating their victims. And, besides, who could 
even wish for merry-makings when God's judgments 
were so evidently in the earth ? So there was no 
feasting that day at Milford ; and if some of the 
youthful inhabitants of the parish sighed as they 
passed the prostrate May-pole, (prostrate, because 
being especially hated by the Puritans, it had been 
sawn through, as it was suspected, by one Tristram 
Sugge, a zealous member of that party, on the night 
of the new year,) if, we say, some of the youthful 
parishioners sighed, it was less in selfish sorrow for 
the loss of a few hours gaiety, than with grave appre- 



THE PUBITANS. 25 

hension of the evils which were coming upon Church 
and State. 

It is when men have such anxious thoughts, and 
clouds seem gathering around them on all sides that 
they are led to appreciate more fully, and feel most 
deeply "the soothing influence" (as it has been so 
happily called) of the Church service ; and perhaps 
even now, when so many of us have ceased even to 
wish to live by the Church's ordinances, if a time of 
trouble were to arise, we should find ourselves fal- 
ling back upon the Church-service as our greatest 
earthly happiness and comfort. But at the period of 
which we are speaking, God's House did not remain 
locked up, and empty, from week's-endto week 's-end. 
The spirit of Puritanism had not yet obliterated the 
Calendar, had not yet made Sunday ("the Sabbath," 
as in their Judaizing spirit, they called the Lord's 
Day) the only day of public worship, and turned the 
weekly festival of our Kedeemer's resurrection into 
a dismal, cheerless day of austerity and gloom. Ac- 
cordingly, though the circumstances were unfavour- 
able to such an assembly, the congregation at Milford 
Church on the morning of which we are speaking, 



26 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

was nearly as large as it had been in former years. 
A common feeling had drawn Churchmen nearer to 
the Church and to each other ; and on that day the 
good Rector had no cause to complain with respect 
either to the attendance or devotion of his flock. 
Some of the open seats which belonged to Puritan 
families were empty, for Mr. Dolben was no Cal- 
vinist, and had not the slightest affection for repub- 
lican principles, or the presbyterian schism, and 
was of course denounced as " a dumb dog," " a 
favourer of popery," "a prelatical hireling," "a 
wicked, scandalous malignant," and so forth. Con- 
sequently, Mr. Blote who was the leader of the 
revolutionary party at Milford, had withdrawn from 
the Church, and set up a conventicle in his own 
barn, where he sometimes preached himself, and 
sometimes listened with great unction to the spiritual 
harangues of one Mahalaleel Mumgrizzle, an itiner- 
ant vendor of tripe and cow-heels, who was held to 
have a more than ordinary share of ministerial gifts 
and graces. But although Mr. Blote, and some of 
his friends and dependents had absented themselves 
from Milford Church, the event had caused very 



THE PURITANS. 27 

little sensation in the parish, the only wonder seemed 
to be that when he had ceased to come to church 
(where his attendance had always been irregular), 
he should choose to go any where else, for it was 
generally supposed that he was a man of no religion 
at all. Nobody, therefore, missed Mr. Blote, and 
nobody would have thought about him, but for an 
incident which we are about to record, and which, 
as will be seen in the sequel, was destined to exer- 
cise a material influence on the fortunes of the Rec- 
tor, parishioners, and church of Milford Malvoisin. 

The morning prayers were concluded, and Mr. 
Dolben was in the act of administering the Holy 
Communion, (which was always celebrated on the 
festivals as weU as on Sundays at Milford) when the 
Church door was thrown open, and a large unwieldy- 
looking man entered with a hawking-pole in his 
hand, and a couple of spaniels at his heels. The 
high crowned hat (which on coming into the House 
of God he still kept up on his head), the sad-coloured 
cloak, and plain band of lawn were in accordance 
with the fashion of the Puritans, while on the other 
hand, a doublet of green velvet, slashed up the 



28 MILFOBD MALVOISIIf. 

front, and puffed with crimson, and an embroidered 
baldric or sword-belt, worn sash-wise over the right 
shoulder, seemed to intimate that although the velvet 
was worn and weather-stained, and the embroidered 
sword-belt was tarnished, they were the habits most 
congenial to the taste of the wearer, while the more 
recent additions to his apparel had been assumed as 
an after-thought. In person, Mr. Blote (for it was 
he) was, as we have said, heavy and awkward ; he 
looked swollen and unwholesome, while his coarse 
red face suggested the thought that he was as fond 
of the ale-barrel, as he was gross in his food. When 
to this it is added that Mr. Blote's expression of 
countenance was surly and over-bearing, we have 
left nothing unsaid which can complete a very 
unpleasant picture. 

Such being the man, his actions were soon seen 
to be in accordance with his physiognomy. On 
entering the church he apparently did not perceive 
that the Holy Eucharist was being administered, for 
he whistled to his dogs to follow him, and was pro- 
ceeding up the nave towards his own sitting when 
the figure of the Clergyman caught his eye, and old 



THE PURITANS. 29 

impressions, or his better nature prevailing for the 
moment, he paused and sat down where he was, and 
at the same time speaking in an under tone to his 
dogs (who were pattering about the seats snuffing 
and whining\ "Quiet, Sir! down Prelate, down 
Pope ! down !" he caused them to lie silent at his 
feet. He then leisurely surveyed the scene before 
him, and from time to time scowled at such mem- 
bers of the congregation as returning from the Altar 
to where they had been sitting, gazed in surprise as 
they passed him, at so unwonted and shocking a 
sight. 

In a few minutes the service was concluded, and 
the congregation retired, the Clergyman, and the 
clerk being the only parties left besides Mr. Blote 
himself. When Mr. Dolben had taken off his sur- 
plice, he approached Mr. Blote, who rose to meet 
him, and with an awkward, and somewhat embar- 
rassed air proceeded to lift off the broad-brimmed 
steeple-crowned hat which he was wearing jauntily 
on one side of his head. 

" Nay, Sir," said Mr. Dolben, when he saw the 
movement, "never doff your hat to me, if you 



30 MILFORD MALVOI6IN. 

think scorn to doff it to Him whose servant I am. 
This is His House, and He has been present among 
us according to His promise : if you will not rever- 
ence Him, do not aggravate the wrong by reverenc- 
ing me." 

Mr. Blote had by this time taken his hat off, and 
now held it in his hand, twirling it, and twisting it, 
as if it burnt his fingers, and as if uncertain whether 
to lay it down or put it on his head again. 

" It is so long," continued the Hector, " since I 
have seen you within these walls, that I hardly know 
whether you come among us as a friend or a foe, 
but whichever way it is, I am sure you will so far 
respect our feelings as to send your dogs out of 
church." 

" I don't see what harm either my hat or dogs 
do you, Master Dolben, or what there is more 
in a church than in any other place : but I fear you 
will never cast off your papistical prejudices ; how- 
ever the dogs may go if you will ; Pope ! Prelate !" 

(addressing the spaniels) "get along home. 

I always name dogs, Master Rector, after things I 
despise." 



THE PUBITANS. 31 

Mr. Dolben made no answer to this gratuitous 
insult, so Mr. Blote continued: "I never saw such 
an awful popish sight as you presented at the table 
there, with your idolatrous vestments on, fit only 
for a priest of Baal ; and your gold and silver cups 
and platters and candlesticks, more like the house of 
Dagon or Rimmon, or Belshazzar's feast, than an 
assembly of Christian people. Ah ! friend, friend, 
these things need reformation ; and because of these 
things an oppressed people have been forced to take 
up the sword. And I tell you and the parishioners of 
this place, that if you don't mend yourselves, other 
folks will come and mend you. The committee of scan- 
dalous ministers is sitting, and they are not likely to 
pass you by, unless you join the godly and well- 
affected ; and a searching inquiry is being set on 
foot after such as be favourers of Popery in their 
churches and ministrations. Come hither, friend 
Degge, let me see that cup." 

This was addressed to the parish-clerk, and had 
reference to a beautiful chalice which was standing 
on the holy table : but Degge moved not, and only 
looked at Mr. Dolben, who said : " The good man 



32 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

knows that it is not the custom for any to presume 
to enter within the rails, except such as be in holy 
orders,* and therefore he does not bring it to you : 
but you can see it well enough from the rails." 

" Oh, I care nothing about your cups and platters, 
and consecrated mummeries : I have seen enough to 
sicken one ; and I see enough from this distance to 
make me blush for you. Why ! there are carved and 
molten images all round the cup !" 

"There is a representation of the crucifixion 
upon it." 

"Ha! what? a crucifix!" exclaimed Mr. Blote ; 
" it is indeed time that things be amended among 
us. Why, that arch-traitor William Laud, that ro- 
chetted viper, that sty of all the pestilential filth that 
infects the commonwealth, (praised be mercy that 
his talons are cut, and he is now in that place whence 
he never will come forth but to die the death, and 
go to perdition,!) why, even the prelate at Lambeth 
desired not to make matters worse than I find them 

See Bp. Montagu's Articles of Inquiry. Tit. iiL 1 11. 

+ It is, of course, quite impossible to bring before the reader any 

thing like a true picture of the language applied by the Puritans to the 

Clergy of the Church of England ; but a specimen of the sort of abuse 

then uttered, may remind the reader very forcibly of thetlanguage of 



THE PURITANS. 33 

in this place. Verily, we must make an end of such 
Papistry. I charge you, Master Degge, that those 
cups and platters are forthcoming whenever I call 
for them, as witnesses against you." 

" Thank you for the hint, you crop-eared hypo- 
crite," muttered Obadiah Degge to himself. "I will 
take good care of them, so please your worship," 
was his audible reply. 

Mr. Dolben had borne all this very patiently; 
and as it was no use replying to such a person, he 
merely waited till Mr. Blote had finished his ha- 
rangue, and then quietly asked whether he had any 
business with him, as he had other engagements. 

"Pray, Sir," said Mr. Blote, "have you ever 
heard of such things as petitions by the parishioners 
against 'scandalous ministers?' " 

divers of the Whig advocates of Ecclesiastical reform. " The Clergy," 
says a puritanical writer, quoted in Walker's Sufferings of the Clergy, 
(p. 48), " are a stinking heap of atheistical and Roman rubbish, a rot- 
ten rabble of slanderous priests, and spurious bastard sons of Belial, 
who, by their affected ignorance and laziness, their false doctrines, 
and idolatrous and superstitious practices in God's worship, by their 
most abominable evil lives and conversations, had, like Hophni and 
Phineas, made the Lord's ordinances to be abhorred by the people." 
" Unpopular," " lazy," " Popish !" This has been the cuckoo-cry 
of the last ten years. 



34 MILFORD MALVOISI.N. 

" Yes, Sir, I heard the other day, that two or 
three sectaries in the next parish, had petitioned 
against their lawful minister for having got a purple 
velvet cloth for the communion-table, and for speak- 
ing against the Parliament and Mr. Pym." 

"And do you know the result, Master Dolben?" 

" No, Sir, I have heard nothing further." 

"Then I can tell you that your friend Dr. Grey 
has been sent for as a delinquent by the Serjeant-at- 
arms : and gentlemen in his case are not apt to get 
off without heavy fines and long imprisonment." 

" Well, they may fine him, but he has little 
enough to pay withal ; and for imprisonment, a man 
at eighty-five has not long to wait for a release." 

" Very true : but you, Master Dolben are richer, 
and many years younger than Dr. Grey ; are you pre- 
pared to be petitioned against ?" 

" I trust so," said the clergyman, " for I have 
long been looking for it." 

"Unless you take care, you are likely to find 
what you look for. Lo ! I come this day to warn 
you, that I can no longer tolerate scandals; and 
though it will be a sore loss to me not to sit under 



THE PUEITAN3. 35 

that pious, painful minister, Master Mahalaleel Mum- 
grizzle, and to be forced to see you clothed in a 
popish rag, dealing out your cold pottage from yon- 
der calves' coop," (pointing to the pulpit) " yet I 
shall do my duty," (" That will be something new," 
muttered Obadiah Degge) "and shall come and 
listen to what you teach the poor benighted creatures, 
who call themselves Churchmen. And I shall en- 
deavour to induce worthy Mr. Mumgrizzle, who is a 
light and a pillar" (" A rushlight and a caterpillar," 
once more muttered the clerk) " to come with me, 
that he may judge of your doctrine, and the truth be 
established." 

" You will do as you please in that matter," an- 
swered Mr. Dolben. 

"Of course, I shall," replied the Puritan; "but 
I shall not demean myself by sitting on yonder bench 
with " 

" Your fellow-sinners : no, I warrant you ! the 
saints are to have it ah 1 their own way now!" ex- 
claimed Obadiah Degge, no longer in an under tone, 
but at the full pitch of his voice. 

Mr. Blote turned pale with rage, and raised his 

D2 



36 MILFOED MALVOISJN. 

hawking-pole for the purpose of striking the indis- 
creet teller of home truths ; but Mr. Dolben inter- 
fered, and bidding the clerk to be silent, listened 
with some curiosity as to what his neighbour would 
say next. " I am not going to sit cheek by jowl," 
continued Mr. Blote, " on a bench with ignorant 
beasts of ploughmen, and such like scum; but I 
shall do as our people have done, and are doing, 
elsewhere ; I shall build me a Pew of wainscoat, and 
I have told that pious man, Tristram Sugge, to come 
here and erect it ; and he promised to be here by 
this time. Albeit he has some conscientious scruples 
with respect to the lawfulness of entering this place ; 
' for what are churches,' said he, ' but the old nests 
of Popery into which the cuckoos of Prelacy have 
dropped addled eggs, and what are Churchmen, 
but vermin that devour the vitals?' " 

"Alas !" cried Mr. Dolben, "and is it even come 
to this, that men should presume to bring their pride 
and exclusiveness into the presence of Him who is 
no respecter of persons, and in whose House all are 
equal ? I have heard of this wicked fashion : I know 
that in towns the churches have been disgraced of 



THE PURITANS. 37 

late by the erection of great unsightly boxes, in which 
those who despise social worship contrive to hide 
themselves from their fellow- worshippers : but I never 
expected to see such a thing in this place.* And I 
declare, that be the consequences what they may to 
myself personally, you shall never erect a pew in this 
church while I can throw an obstacle in your way." 
" And I on the other hand declare, that before 
you are an hour older, my pew shall be in progress. 
Here, Tristram, Tristram Sugge, bring in your 
tools, man, and set to work. The Malignants have 

* An inclosed seat (and sometimes a stall and desk, within the 
chancel) was generally provided for the patron of the church, and this 
mark of distinction (says Britton, Dictionary of Architecture, p. 356) 
is noticed in documents as old as 1240 : but until the time of the 
Reformation the worshippers stood or knelt upon the floor. Fixed 
benches appear to have been seldom used before that period, though 
stools were in use. The " pues " which ate spoken of soon after that 
epoch, seem to have been what we now call "open sittings," i.e., 
benches with backs, but without doors. The writer has never seen 
" a pew," in the modern acceptation of the term, of earlier date than 
the seventeenth century. They increased in number with the increase 
of Puritanism, were made high and easy for the slumbering times of 
William III, and have reached the summit of their glory in our day ; 
only, it is to be hoped 

" Ut lapso graviore nunt." 

All Churchmen must feel grateful to Archdeacon Hare for that part of 
his recent charge in which he grapples with this subject 



38 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

had it all their own way long enough, let us see if 
we can't mend matters. Hark ye, sirrah, you Degge, 
go look if Sugge is in the church-yard, and bid him 
come here directly." 

The clerk went out, and in a minute returned : 
" Yes, Tristram was on the outside of the porch, 
hut he would not come in till he had spoken a word 
to Master Blote about his scruples." 

" Fool !" exclaimed the angry Puritan, and paced 
down the aisle, closely followed by Mr. Dolben, who 
continued to expostulate with his ill-conditioned pa- 
rishioner. And thus they reached the church-door ; 
but no sooner had they crossed the threshold, than 
Obadiah Degge, who remained within, flung to the 
door behind them, locked it, double locked it,- 
and running across the church to a door on the oppo- 
site side, opened it, and locking it after him, made 
his escape almost before Mr. Blote and the Rector 
suspected what had been done. 





CHAPTER II. 



Conscientious Reformers. 

Whate'er the Popish hands have built 

Our hammers shall undo ; 
We'll break their pipes, and burn their copes, 

And pull down churches too. 
Lawn sleeves and rochets shall go down, 

And hey then up go we ; 
The leathern cap shall brave the throne, 

Then hey, boys, up go we ! 

The Puritan' i Garland. (1640.) 

THAT the noisiest advocates of that one-sided license 
miscalled Civil and Religious Liberty, are the greatest 
domestic tyrants, and that whenever in authority 
themselves, they are wont to trample most merci- 
lessly and unscrupulously upon all who differ from 
them in opinion, are facts of such general observa- 
tion as to have become proverbial; and which, as 
they have been abundantly exemplified at other 



40 MILFOED MALVOIS1N. 

times, so were they the distinguishing characteristics 
of the epoch of which we are writing. No sooner 
did the Puritanical faction find itself triumphant, 
than amid much other horrible wickedness, it com- 
menced a course of persecution against those who 
had resisted it, which was hardly inferior (though, 
as it happened, more bloodless) to that by which 
Queen Mary endeavoured to check the progress of 
the Eeformation. There are occasions on which it is 
a harder trial to be a Confessor than a Martyr : a 
man can die but once ; but he who for conscience 
sake is compelled to involve a wife and children in 
his own ruin, and to see them starving before his 
eyes undergoes an hundred deaths ; and this was the 
trial, which, as being the cruelest, the Puritans loved 
to inflict on those who continued faithful to the 
Church and King : the martyrs were few ; confes- 
sors were innumerable. 

Of course when such a man as Mr. Blote became 
his active personal enemy, Mr. Dolben knew that he 
must make up his mind for the worst ; and he was not 
long kept in suspense. So irritated was the churlish 
squire at the refusal he had experienced on 'the subject 



THE PURITANS. 



of the pew, and so indignant at the insult inflicted on 
him by Obadiah Degge, at the instigation (as he no- 
thing doubted) of the Rector, that before he laid down 
his head upon his pillow that night he had drawn up 
a petition to the parliament, representing Mr. Dol- 
ben as a teacher of erroneous, Popish, and scanda- 
lous doctrines ; which petition, being signed by 
himself and his footboy, was duly transmitted to Mr. 
Pym, and thereupon, within a fortnight after the 
events recorded in the last chapter, a pursuivant was 
sent down to Milford to apprehend its unfortunate 
Rector, who was forthwith torn from his family, and 
having been placed at the bar of the House of Com- 
mons, was, after a few irrelevant questions asked, 
sent on board ship (for the prisons were now full) 
with the prospect of being speedily transported (with- 
out further trial) to the plantations, or sent to Algiers, 
there to be sold as a slave to the Turks : for, incre- 
dible as it may seem, such are said to have been the 
tender mercies of the Puritans to their fellow-Chris- 
tians, such the justice which the advocates of 
liberal opinions (as we call them now-a-days), and 
friends of liberty, dispensed to their fellow-subjects. 



42 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

On the afternoon of the day in which Mr. Dol- 
ben was taken into custody, Mr. Mumgrizzle left 
his lodgings upon a summons from his patron, and 
proceeded with all convenient speed to Milford 
Grange. Why had Mr. Blote sent for him? Was 
there any hope that he might be called upon to 
occupy the Rector's deserted pulpit ? was there a 
chance of his being put in possession of the old rec- 
tory, with its fruitful garden, and three hundred 
acres of glebe ? Mr. Blote was a person of increas- 
ing influence : such things had been done elsewhere, 
why might they not be done at Milford ? Mahala- 
leei Mumgrizzle was an ambitious man, but his 
vanity was even greater than his ambition, and so 
he was beginning to persuade himself not only that 
such things were possible, but that no better appoint- 
ment could be made, when he became sensible that 
he had been overtaken by a fellow-traveller, and on 
looking up, recognized a person for whom he had as 
great a veneration as he had for Mr. Blote himself; 
this was no other than the Reverend Faithful Thun- 
derplump, a gentleman who was a sort of Pope 
among the Puritans of the midland counties. 



THE PURITANS. 43 

It will be in the reader's recollection, that about 
ten or fifteen years before the events which we are 
recording took place, one Dr. Preston, (a person who 
had then the chief influence with the Puritans) 
devised a plan for promoting the interests of his 
party, which, under a very plausible pretence, was as 
crafty a scheme for the overthrow of the Church- 
government as could be imagined. A Society was 
formed for the purchase of impropriations, an object 
to all appearance, not only unobjectionable, but 
praise - worthy ; but which had for its real purpose 
the getting as many livings as possible into the hands 
of twelve leading Puritans, who would, of course, 
nominate to the respective incumbencies persons of 
their own views only ; and exercise an authority far 
more absolute than that of all the Prelates put 
together. This plan, (which has, alas, been revived 
in our day, if not with the same object, at least with 
the same tendencies,) was overthrown by the vigil- 
ance of Laud (then Bishop of London), but not 
until the several members of the Committee had be- 
come dangerous from their influence, and the scheme 
itself had been the source of much evil, by placing a 



44 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

large portion of the clergy under a self-constituted 
body, in a state of entire dependence ; by alienating 
the inhabitants of large towns from the Church ; and 
by infusing, or at least endeavouring to infuse, by 
simoniacal means, the leaven of Puritanism through 
the entire mass of the people. Among these persons 
was the Reverend Faithful Thunderplump, who had 
been selected by Dr. Preston as one of his coadju- 
tors on the ground of his deep hatred of prelacy, 
and his bustling temper, or, as the Doctor pithily 
worded it, because he " was a good crow to smell 
carrion." On the failure of the impropriation scheme, 
Thunderplump became one of the most active mem- 
bers of the Puritan faction, and at the period of 
which we are writing was member of the Committee 
" for the purging of the ministry ;" in other words, 
for bringing false and scandalous charges against the 
regular Clergy, and thereupon ejecting them from 
their livings ; a Committee already of iniquisitorial 
power, though it was not till ten years afterwards 
(1653) that this system arrived at its height, and 
those "Tryers" were appointed, who dividing the 
country into six circuits, set themselves to the task 



THE PURITANS. 45 

of sequestering and ejecting the Clergy, and permitted 
none to be instituted in their place, until they had 
been " tried, judged, and approved'' by them ; thus 
closely resembling the clerical committee of a popu- 
lar Society in our own days, and exercising like them 
a " Hyper-archiepiscopal, and Super-metropolitan"* 
authority. 

Nor was Mr. Thunderplump at all ill calculated 
for the position in which he was placed. He was a 
very complete villain, with very little villainy in his 
smooth, sleek, countenance. He had, indeed, a 
sinister expression of sly cunning which was suffici- 
ently apparent to those who watched him ; but, so 
far as features were concerned, he was very well 
looking, and even the Puritanical dress could not 
conceal the fact that he was an exceeding well-made 
man. 

A shrewd old lady of our acquaintance has 
assured us upon the observation of three-score years, 
that nobody, male or female, has so much love made 
to them as a popular preacher ; certainly Mr. Thun- 
derplump was a case in point. Wherever he 

Walker, p. 171. 



46 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

appeared he was all but worshipped by the ladies, 
who feasted him, followed, and flirted with him in 
Scripture phrases, hung upon his smooth words with 
rapture, and sat by the hour to hear his extempo- 
raneous " lectures" and " exercises." 

Such was the person, who mounted upon his 
stately black horse, saluted Mahalaleel Mumgrizzle 
in the following manner: "Pardon me, my good 
friend, for thus intruding on you while your mind is 
so occupied with things spiritual. Nay, Master Mum- 
grizzle, do not apologize ; I know it was so. Ah, 
good man, good man, you are a burning light in 
these dark places. Whither are you going?" 
" I am on my way to Milford Grange." 
" We are companions in travel then," rejoined 
Mr. Thunderplump, "and with your leave I will 
share your meditations ; so shall we edify one ano- 
ther as we go along." So saying, he dismounted 
from his steed, and throwing the bridle over his 
arm, placed himself at Mumgrizzle's side. "And 
what was the passage that occupied your thoughts, 
brother? Did you find it sweet and consolatory 
to yourself, are you about to expound it faithfully 
to others ?" 



THE PUBITANS. 47 

"I was not thinking of Scripture at all, Master 
Thunderplump," answered Mahalaleel in some con- 
fusion, " I was just wondering in myself whether 
that dumb dog, Parson Dolben, will be ejected 
from this living." 

" Ah, good man, good man, truly your heart is 
full of the milk of human kindness. I see you can 
pity and pray for even such a popish Judas, such a 
prelatical vessel of wrath as that. But were these 
all your thoughts, brother?" asked Thunderplump 
with a searching gaze at his companion. 

The blood rose in Mumgrizzle's yellow cheek 
while he answered, " Yea, I was meditating further 
on the poor people at Milford. Will they be left 
without a shepherd ? Will no one go down to yonder 
steeple-house and teach them ?" 

" Ah, good man, good man, such a reflection was 
worthy of you: and was this your only thought?" 

' No, brother, I felt myself moved to undertake 
the charge myself." 

" Good man, good man, take heed that you do 
not exhaust your strength : you must husband your 
precious zeal. And these were your only thoughts ?" 



48 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

repeated Mr. Thunderplump once more, with a sly 
demure look out of the corners of his eyes. 

"Nay, brother, since you press me, I must 
honestly confess that my thought was that, under 
such circumstances, the labourer would be worthy of 
his hire, and that . . . ." 

"Aye, aye, your notion was as natural as it was 
benevolent ; when you are the patient, prayerful min- 
ister of Milford, it is but meet that you should have 
yonder rectory as they call it, for your tabernacle. 
Lo you there ! I have read all your thoughts without 
your telling them to me. Brother, brother, you are 
a good man, but too simple-minded; your features 
were given you to enable you to hide the thoughts of 
your heart, not to betray them. Take my advice, 
and never look anybody in the face, never let any 
man's eyes rest on your's till you have learned the 
secret of concealing, by an impenetrable expression, 
all that you wish to conceal. We, the elect, have a 
great work before us ; the saints must reign on earth, 
as well as in heaven, but our triumph is not yet com- 
plete, and we must needs be prudent as serpents." 
Then suddenly changing his tone, and giving one 



THE PUBITANS. 49 

more of his searching looks, Mr. Thunderplump pro- 
ceeded, " Pray, have you taken any steps to secure 
the heritage of this son of Belial, Dolben? such 
things are not like to go a begging." 

" No, indeed, Master Thunderplump, I have not, 
but I suppose my worthy patron Blote is like to have 
the appointment, and if I dared I would fain ask 
him." 

" And why dare you not ? 

" Alas ! for a spiritual-minded man, he is one of 
uncertain temper : it is hard to say beforehand how 
he might take the application ; he might grant it at 
once, or he might make it the excuse for quarrelling 
with me for ever." 

" Then if Master Mahalaleel Mumgrizzle knows 
this, why does he not get some friend to apply in his 
behalf, and thus shield himself in case of offence 
being taken." 

" It will indeed be the best way. Will you make 
the petition for me." 

"Dolt!" muttered Mr. Thunderplump to him- 
self; and then answered audibly, " Nay, brother, it 
will suit me as ill as you to quarrel with Mr. Blote ; 



50 MILFOBD MALVOI8IN. 

you must choose another agent. In all these kind 
of cases my plan is to plough with the heifer." 
" I do not understand you, brother." 
" In plain words, then, set his reife to talk him 
over. Women know their times and opportunities, 
and have a strange unaccountable influence over 
men ; they are the best tools in the world if you 
know how to manage them." 

" But how are they to be managed ?" 
" Find out their weak point and indulge it," an- 
swered worthy Mr. Thunderplump. "Don't you 
know Mrs. Blote's weak point? Does not she love 
drink, as much as he loves money?" 

" I fear me it is so, but I cannot drink with her, 
indeed I cannot. 

" Nay, Mumgrizzle, it is not required of you ; she 
drinks like a fish, but drinks in private : wherefore 
my advice to you is to send her certain bottles of the 
finest stomachic cordial you can procure, (Mara- 
schino the profane would recommend), and then the 
next time you meet her, let fall the intimation that if 
you should be so fortunate as to succeed Mr. Dolben, 
you would be ready to let the glebe at half its value to 



THE PURITANS. 51 

her husband, (you would still have an ample income,) 
and to resign your present salary. Now see if that 
scheme would not work well ! . . Nay, wherefore do 
you hesitate ?" continued the adviser to his friend. 

" Would not this savour of the sin of Simony ?" 
asked Mumgrizzle doubtfully. 

" Go to, for a simple witted fellow," was the re- 
ply; "I thought you had known your position and 
duties better than to give way to such weak scruples. 
See you not, that what would be Simony in others 
is not so to those whose object is to advance the 
Gospel ? The end sanctifies the means." 

With this choice suggestion on his lips, Mr. 
Thunderplump and his companion arrived before the 
door at Milford Grange, and were speedily admitted 
into the presence of the Squire. 

Mr. Blote was seated in his easy chair, with a 
book in his hand and a jug of ale by his side, both of 
which he seemed to be enjoying with great satisfac- 
tion, for, on the entrance of his visitors, he waved 
his hand, as though he craved a short pause in order 
that he might finish the matters in which he was en- 
gaged, without interruption. After the delay of a 



52 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

minute or two the book was shut and the liquor 
drunk, and then Mr. Blote bade his guests welcome, 
in a manner which he intended should betoken that 
the act was one of great condescension on his part. 
Mahalaleel Mumgrizzle shewed his sense of what he 
really felt to be an honour, by servile fawning and 
exaggerated expressions: Mr. Thunderplump, on the 
other hand, full of his own importance, was nettled, 
and his vanity wounded at the coolness of his recep- 
tion. " I presume," said he, " there is some mistake ; 
you have hardly sent for me post-haste, in order that 
I may be rewarded at the end of my journey by see- 
ing you top off a can of ale, Master Blote ; have I 
misunderstood your message, or come at a wrong 
hour." 

" Neither, my worthy brother, I assure you; but 
I was reading this searching book with such unction 
that I could not lay it down." 

" And what is your book, Sir ?" asked the Prea- 
cher, rather doggedly. 

" Oh, that blessed work, ' Zion's plea against the 
Prelates.' Oh, Alexander Leighton! Alexander 
Leighton ! thou hast hit the right nail upon the head, 



THE PURITANS. 53 

thou hast come to the root ! How touchingly dost 
thou exhort the saints to smite the Bishops under the 
fifth rib and slay them : how truly dost thou designate 
the Man's wife, the woman whom they call Queen, 
an idolatress, a Canaanite, a daughter of Heth!" 

"Verily, he delivered his testimony faithfully," 
answered Mr. Thunderplump, " and suffered wrong- 
fully from the Philistine oppressors ; but the good 
man hath his reward." 

" How so ?" asked the Squire. 

" Have you not heard, then, that he whom the 
Prelates cast into a dungeon, is himself become the 
prison-keeper ? that Lambeth palace is become Lam- 
beth jail, and that he is the jailor thereof?" 

" No," replied Mr. Blote ; "but I heard another 
matter that was well worth the hearing. Master 
Mumgrizzle, they kept May-day better in the Parlia- 
ment-house than we did here in Milford : me let the 
Malignants get the upper hand of us shamefully on 
that day ; aye, Master Mumgrizzle, and at the very 
time when I was being locked out of yonder church, 
was that pious man, Hugh Peters, bringing forward 
his motion that William Laud should, without further 



64 MILFOBD MALVOI8IN. 

trial or hearing, be transported to New England. I 
fear me some wavering professors, who do the work 
negligently, have made some opposition to the plan, 
and he may escape for a while ; but it was a noble 

suggestion, and worthy to be imitated; here or 

elsewhere" added the Squire, in an under tone, and as 
if he was rather thinking aloud than actually speak- 
ing; but the remark was not lost upon Mahalaleel 
Mumgrizzle, who immediately groaned forth, " Well- 
a-day, my honoured patron, you do but remind us of 
sad truths, for if Canterbury has its William Laud, 
Milford Malvoisin hath its Bernard Dolben." 

"Had you should rather say than 'hath.' I 
know by a sure hand that it will be many a day be- 
fore that scandalous and unhappy delinquent will be 
let out of the safe keeping in which he is now held. 
We have rid the country of him ; but, my good and 
tried friends," continued the Squire, " the work is 
but half done, and I would have your aid in carry- 
ing it on further. What boots it that Baal's priest is 
removed, if the temple of Baal is still filled with 
idolatry and superstition? Should we not make an 
end thereof, brother Thunderplump? Ought we 



THE PUEITANS. 55 

not to purge and make clean, Mahalaleel Mum- 
grizzle ?" 

" Yea verily," answered the Preachers with one 
consent. 

" Dear Christian friends," continued Mr. Blote 
waxing warm with his subject, and laying aside for 
awhile the haughtiness of his manner, in order to 
secure his present object the better, "Dear Chris- 
tian friends, it is no small satisfaction to me to have 
the support of your wisdom and experience. I be- 
lieve you are both aware of the sore trial to which I 
was exposed no long while since, on a day when cir- 
cumstances led me down to the Church. Oh ! the 
mummeries! Oh! the superstition of that place! 
Verily, if the Liturgy (lethargy would be a better 
name !) be an unpurged mass-book ; the churches are 
yet in these parts but unpurged mass-houses. So I 
felt on that unhappy occasion ; and thereupon my 
spirit burned within me to effect a pious reformation 
which I would now carry through in your pre- 
sence. We have all heard of those heavenly-minded 
men in the seven associated counties,* who have been 

* Norfolk, Suffolk, Cambridge, Essex, Lincoln, Herts, & Huntingdon. 



56 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

labouring with the Earl of Manchester, to root out 
the marks of the beast; how they have thrown 
down images, and defaced pictures, and destroyed 
the crosses, and copes, and railings, and organs, and 
such like abominations." 

"Yea, doubtless," answered Mr. Mumgrizzle, 
" their praises are sounded forth in every congrega- 
tion." 

" Painful labourers are they all, and I fear are 
but ill requited; my kinsman, William Dowsing, 
got but six and eight-pence for breaking with his 
own hands the sun and moon, and two hundred more 
of the thousand superstitious pictures which were 
destroyed at Clare in Suffolk."* 

" Well-a-day," groaned forth Mahalaleel with 
upturned hands and eyes, " but we live in a thank- 
less generation." 

" True, my worthy friend," replied Mr. Blote, 
" but we must return good for evil ; and so through 
my kinsman's good offices I have obtained a war- 



rant to remove all scandals and superstitions from 

Milford church ; thither I trust you will go with me, 

See Dowsing's Journal, p. 11. 



THE PURITANS. 57 

and we will begin and make an end together. I 
have already, in expectation of your arrival, sent 
down to the clerk (a malignant like his master) to he 
ready with the keys ; and Tristram Sugge, and some 
other godly professors, Diggory Brix, the mason, 
Kit Cummin, my serving-man, Roger Newte, and 
Phineas Frogspawn, are at hand to accompany us." 
It is needless to say that such a proposal was 
received with delight; and that these zealous, sin- 
gle-hearted men, were forthwith wending their way 
to the church at Milford Malvoisin. 





CHAPTEK III. 

llcfonu fn progress. 

Such as do build their faith upon 
The holy text of pike and gun ; 
Decide all controversies by 
Infallible artillery ; 
And prove their doctrine orthodox. 
By apostolic blows and knocks ; 
Call fire, and sword, and devastation 
A thorough-going reformation, 
Which always must be carried on, 
And still be doing, never done : 
As if religion were intended 
For nothing else but to be mended. 

Hudibrat. 

To what degree the spoliation of our churches might 
have been carried if Divine Providence had not mer- 
cifully interposed, and by cutting short the life of 
King Edward VI., put a sudden stop to the nefarious 
designs of his unprincipled and rapacious attendants, 



MILFORD MALVOISIN. 69 

it is hard to say ; but tremendous as was the amount 
of sacrilege committed during his short reign, and 
the closing years of his father's life, it was less than 
that for which the Puritans are responsible. Para- 
doxical as such an assertion may seem, the accession 
and reign of Queen Mary (bloody as her Spanish 
advisers rendered it) were great and positive advan- 
tages to the Church of England, inasmuch as they 
checked the growth of that foreign influence which 
had begun to introduce all manner of evil among us ; 
which, in 1552, had actually effected material alter- 
ations in the Liturgy, and which was evidently bent 
upon establishing our whole ecclesiastical polity upon 
the Geneva model. During the long reigns of Eliza- 
beth and James there was time for sounder Church 
principles to gain ground ; and but, perhaps, for the 
elevation of Abbot to the Primacy, the followers of 
Calvin would never have obtained their bad pre-emi- 
nence among us. Eventually, indeed, as we know 
too well, and feel, alas ! to the present hour, they 
did get the upper hand ; and in the murder of their 
anointed Sovereign, and the temporary overthrow of 
the altar and the throne, we have a sample of the ex- 



60 MILFOKD MALVOI8IN. 

tent of evil which they might have accomplished, if 
at an earlier period Providence had permitted them 
to domineer over the Church. But the Reformation 
in this country was not sullied by their crimes. Great 
and grievous sacrilege there was ; but there is some 
comfort in the thought that "the mutilations to which 
our churches have been visibly subjected, were not 
the work of the Reformers (which would give them a 
certain authority in the eyes of Protestants), but are 
to be referred to the Rebellion in the next century, 
a political and ecclesiastical catastrophe which went 
far indeed beyond the wishes and intentions of the 
Reformers." 

As soon as the pious conclave whom we left at 
Milford Grange had entered the church-yard, Mr. 
Blote looked round him in evident expectation of 
seeing Obadiah Degge, and no doubt was experienc- 
ing very considerable satisfaction from the thought 
that he could now pay back with interest the insult 
which had been put upon him. But Obadiah was 
not to be seen; the only person present besides 
themselves was a little urchin of a boy, who was en- 
joying a solitary game at leap-frog over the backs of 



THE PURITANS. 61 

the tomb-stones, and who, after giving one glance at 
the band of destructives, turned three times head 
over heels, and then re-commenced his pastime. By 
this time Tristram Sugge had run forward and tried the 
several doors of the church, but they were all locked. 

"Boy!" cried Mr. Blote, beckoning towards the 
tomb-stones : but the boy came not ; he began walk- 
ing indeed, but it was upon his head, and in a differ- 
ent direction. 

" Sirrah ! you boy, why don't you come when the 
Squire calls you ?" was now shouted by half-a-dozen 
voices at once. 

The active youth was evidently alarmed at the 
hubbub ; and, after a succession of rapid summersets, 
lit upon his legs, and came up to the party grinning, 
with cap in hand. He was a thin, stunted lad, with 
lank sandy hair, features not unlike those of a skin- 
ned rabit, and his face freckled into all imaginary 
shades of yellow and brown; it need hardly be said, 
therefore, that he was very ugly, but his bright, 
sharp eye beamed with intelligence, at least, when it 
suited him to be intelligent; and there was an ex- 
pression of cunning, mingled with an apparent love 



63 MILFOKD MALVOI8IN. 

of mischief, which, altogether, suggested the idea 
that he was one with whom it was desirable to keep 
on good terms. He approached those who called 
him in the manner we have described, but when he 
had arrived within five or six yards of them he 
stopped short, as if not choosing to put himself 
within arms length of them. 

"How now, Sir?" cried Mr. Blote, "why 
did'nt you come when I called." 

" Did'nt know as you called me, Sir." 

" Why, is there any other boy in the church- 
yard?" 

" Never another young 'un, Sir, as I knows on ; 
but I thought perhaps you meant the old boy." 

" Old boy ? what do you mean ?" 

" Oh, I've often heard Roger Newte call Master 
Mumgrizzle an old boy, have'nt I, Roger ? so how 
could I tell ?" 

Roger Newte who was standing behind Mr. Mum- 
grizzle, shook his fist at the urchin ; and then pro- 
ceeded to tell the Squire that there was not such a 
lying mischievous little varlet in the parish ; and 
that he was Obadiah Degge's nephew. 



THE PTJE1TANS. 63 

" Ah, no doubt he takes after his uncle," cried 
Mr. Blote, " but we must teach him better manners. 
Hark ye, Sir, what is your name ?" 

" Higgle, please your worship, Eli Higgle ; but 
my grandam calls me the wriggling eel." 

" Now, then, if you do'nt answer my question 
properly, I'll give you something that shall make you 
wriggle more than you like my lad. Where's your 
uncle ?" 

"Please, Sir, I believe you're a treading on 
him." 

" Not that uncle, blockhead ; we all know Peter 
Higgle is dead and buried; the Squire wants to 
know where Obadiah Degge is," said the carpenter. 

"Oh! he's gone to the wars," answered the 
boy. 

" Gone to the wars !" cried the Squire in a tone 
of disappointment, "why I told him to meet me 
with the key of the church." 

"He bade me come down here, Sir, and wait 
for you, and tell you he was very sorry he could' nt 
attend your honour's pleasure, but he had a pressing 
invitation to go and shoot Roundheads." 



64 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

Something very like an oath burst from the 
Squire's lips. " And has your precious uncle, you 
young cockatrice, not sent down the keys of the 
church?" 

" No, please your honour's worship ; for he said 
I had better find out first whether you would have 
them now, or wait till you get them;" and the boy 
grinned from ear to ear. 

Mr. Blote sprang forward with the intention of 
seizing the saucy monkey and giving him a good 
beating, but Eh' Higgle kept his sharp eyes in full 
occupation, and the moment he saw the bulky 
Squire's first movement, he turned round, jumped 
over half a dozen grave-stones in succession, bounded 
over the low churchyard wall in an instant, and set 
off at full speed across the fields, shouting as he went 
the words of a popular ditty. Mr. Blote had no 
inclination for a race ; and though he seemed dis- 
posed to allow one or two of his satellites to com- 
mence a pursuit, he speedily changed his mind, and 
directed them to force open the locked door. This 
being effected without much difficulty, the whole 
body rushed into the church tumultuously. 



THE PUEITANS. 65 

"How now?" exclaimed the Squire, as he per- 
ceived that one or two of those who accompanied 
him, had instinctively taken off their hats; "How 
now, Phineas Frogspawn ! How now, Roger Newte ! 
are you going to turn prelatists? What! would you 
doff your beavers as if this den of superstition, were 
holy ground?" The abashed rustics immediately 
replaced their hats. 

"Dear brethren," said Mr. Thunderplump, "in 
the painful duty which has devolved on us, I am 
sure your hearts' desire is that it should be carried 
through so effectually, as that we should leave no 
room for those that come after us to say that we did 
the work negligently. We will make our reforms in 
this church a pattern to the whole neighbourhood. 
Wherefore that nothing should through forgetfulness 
or over haste be omitted, lo, our worthy Squire 
and I will take our places here where you can see 
us, and we will give our directions from hence." 
With that Mr. Thunderplump sat himself down upon 
the altar, and beckoned to Mr. Blote to do the 
same. 

"Now, first," observed the Preacher, "let us 

F 



66 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

get a little day-light, in order that we may see what 
we are about. The sunshine has been too long kept 
out, and the whole place darkened with all these su- 
perstitious paintings. Take up yonder Prayer-book, 
Diggory, it seems a heavy one, and see if you can't 
send it into the churchyard." 

In an instant there was a loud crash, and the 
glass of a beautiful painted window, shivered into a 
thousand pieces, fell rattling on the floor. 

"Very well, for a beginning, Diggory," said 
Mr. Thunderplump with a calm smile, " only me- 
thinks you are too vigorous, considering you have a 
heavy work before you ; it is mere waste of strength 
to make an onslaught like that. Try again more 
gently.... Ah! that was better," (as another 
light was dashed to pieces). " Once more ; well-a- 
day, what a blessed thing it is to see the sunshine ; 
don't you think so, brother Mumgrizzle ?" 

Brother Mumgrizzle rubbed his hands, and 
almost screamed with delight. 

"I don't think you need further instructions, 
Diggory ; there are twelve windows of three lights 
each ; don't hurt yourself, don't let your spirits run 



THE PURITANS. 67 

away with you. Give me a hammer, Tristram 
Sugge ; I feel warming to the work, and will supply 
you with stone, to smash the upper lights withal. 
Dear, dear ! I was not aware that alabaster was so 
soft !" continued Mr. Mumgrizzle, as he knocked off 
the head of an angel, which adorned the Founder's 
altar tomb, with a blow of his hammer, and then pro- 
ceeded to destroy every piece of carving within his 
reach in like manner. 

Meanwhile, the glorious series of painted win- 
dows which (as usual in those days) filled the whole 
church, and which portrayed the principal events of 
the life of our blessed Saviour, were broken so effec- 
tually, that at the end of half an hour not a single 
figure was left unmutilated with the exception of 
that of the Devil in the Temptation, which was saved 
at Roger Newte's suggestion, because, as he said, 
though the Parliament had given orders to break 
down saints, there was no order to break down the 
devil ;* whereat one or two that stood by, and knew 
the character of the man, whispered to one another 

This is a fact, and the place where it occurred was Canterbury 
Cathedral See Walker, p. 25. 

F2 



68 MILFOKD MALVOIS1N. 

that it was plain enough who was Newte's saint. It 
was during the destruction of this last window, and 
after two or three heavy stones had been thrown 
through the shattered quarries into the churchyard, 
that to the alarm of the spoilers a flight of stones 
found their way back again into the church, and the 
largest of them lighted with considerable force on 
Mr. Mumgrizzle's nose, who fell to the ground with 
a dismal howl, and declared to his terror stricken 
companions that he had seen a grinning face of 
fiendish expression peering through the broken glass, 
and had no doubt that it was the Adversary of man- 
kind himself. It was some time before any of his 
companions summoned courage to run into the 
churchyard, and when they did, it was of course 
empty. Luckily Messrs. Blote and Thunderplump 
were at the other extremity of the church, or per- 
haps they would have recognized the features of Eli 
Biggie, and thereby destroyed (what the Puritans 
loved so much) a well-authenticated tale of visible 
Satanic agency. 

We will not weary and disgust our readers with 
any lengthened or circumstantial detail of the fur- 



THE PUKITANS. 69 

ther progress of these pious reformers. The scenes 
enacted in the church of Milford Malvoisin were in 
those times an every-day sight ; and from the lofty 
Cathedral down to the humblest and poorest House 
of God in the land, there is scarcely a sacred edifice 
of those existing at that period, which does not still 
bear upon it the marks of the Puritan oppressors' 
" ruthless sway." If the country had been exposed 
to foreign invasion, and to all the license and plun- 
der of a triumphant enemy, she could not have had 
harder measure than she experienced at the hands 
of her own children. Every church and consecrated 
building wore the appearance of having undergone a 
siege, and been sacked; and that " Storm-beeldery," 
(as the Flemings, among whom it began at Ypres, 
happily designated the iconoclasm of the sixteenth 
century) which marked the temporary downfall of 
the Church of England, would have shown unequi- 
vocally the real spirit of the Parliamentarian faction, 
even if history had preserved no other records of 
its tyranny, its hypocrisy, and its bold defiance of 
God. Yet indelible as are the memorials of that 
miserable time, irreparable as are many of the evils 



70 MILFOED MALVO18IN. 

then inflicted on us, we may yet turn them into 
blessings if only we receive them as pregnant warn- 
ings ; nay, the very mutilation of our churches may 
preach more eloquently to us, and be a more heart- 
stirring homily, and witness, against the errors of the 
present day, than could have fallen from the lips of 
any uninspired teacher. As we look upon the ruin 
and desolation to which the Houses of God were 
exposed, we may reflect upon the rise, the progress, 
and the end of rebellion ; we may see to what des- 
perate lengths men, (many, no doubt, of laudable 
intentions) may be drawn by faction ; and we may 
understand with what true wisdom that petition is 
inserted in the Litany, wherein we pray the Lord 
to deliver us from all sedition, privy conspiracy, 
and rebellion; from all false doctrine, heresy, and 
schism ; from hardness of heart, and contempt of 
His Word and Commandment ; from all those sins, 
in short, " which draw after them, in certain and 
inevitable consequence, the heaviest of all chastise, 
ments upon a guilty nation."* 

The progress of spoliation in Milford Church was, 

Quarterly Review, Vol. 25, p. 346. 



THE PURITANS. 71 

as we have said, identical in kind with that which took 
place elsewhere. In the eyes of the Puritans, what- 
ever was ancient was popish, and whatever was 
popish was idolatrous. Those blind leaders of the 
blind either could not, or would not see any distinc- 
tion between what had the sanction of apostolical anti- 
quity, and what had been introduced by the Romanists 
of yesterday. They could not comprehend that some 
Roman usages might yet be Catholic and Scriptural ; 
they had no fear of rooting up the wheat, while eradi- 
cating what they were pleased to consider the tares in 
the field of the Church. In their malice or their igno- 
rance, it was the same to them what they destroyed, 
provided only, that they could be guilty of some 
sacrilegious act. Whether the windows which they 
fractured were filled with scriptural illustrations, or 
obscure legends from the breviary, whether the 
sculptured stone portrayed the instruments of the 
Passion, or exhibited in bas-relief the sufferings of 
souls in purgatory, whether the name that adorned 
the pannels of the roof was that of the Virgin-Mother, 
or her ever-blessed Son, all was one to them, it was 
equally popish, and destined to indiscriminate des- 
truction. 



72 MILFOKD MALVOI8IN. 

And thus it fared at Milford ; some broke down 
the emblems of the Holy Trinity, and defaced the 
Cross wherever they could find it. Some tore up the 
monumental brasses, others battered and mutilated 
the tabernacle work of the altar-tomb. The texts of 
scripture which were emblazoned on the walls, 

" the scrolls that teach to lire and die," 

were obliterated with mud and filth, the rood 
screen, and parcloses which separated the chantry 
from the chancel, with all their dainty carved work 
and pannelling; the altar rails, and the sedilia within 
the sacred inclosure, were in turn subjected to the 
axes and hammers of the frantic destroyers : the altar 
was dragged from the east end, and set in the middle 
of the church : the font was broken off its pedestal, 
and sent by the Squire to his kennel to hold water for 
his dogs; while the canopy over the font, " with a 
pelican on the top, picking its breast, all gilt over 
with gold," like that at U fford, which William Dow- 
sing of eternal infamy took such pleasure in destroy- 
ing, was dragged out of the church, and together with 
fragments of the broken organ, the surplices, and 
an ancient cope which was still used on the high festi- 



THE PURITANS. 73 

vals, (the sight of which ' rag of popery,' coming sud- 
denly upon his broken nose, threw Mr. Mumgrizzle 
into a dead faint) was speedily converted into a heap 
of glowing ashes. 

Meanwhile, the Squire and Mr. Thunderplump, 
who had suggested and encouraged each separate act 
of sacrilege, found themselves half choked with the 
dust which had been raised, and feeling rather thirsty 
with their exertions, proceeded to the ambry, or cup- 
board in which the sacramental wine was kept, for the 
purpose of refreshing themselves therewith. To their 
disappointment, however, the ambry was empty, and 
they were about to leave the church, when Mr. Blote 
exclaimed that he had nearly forgotten one of the 
points which required most serious correction. " Oh, 
brother," said he, " you know not what papistical ves- 
sels of gold and silver were wont to be displayed on 
yonder table at communion : candlesticks and dishes, 
cups and platters, covered with graven images, and 
deadly superstitions!" 

" Surely," answered Mr* Thunderplump, with 
one of his meekest looks, and most dolorous sighs, 
" it behoves us as Christian men, to consign them to 



74 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

the crucible and melting pot. Let them be sold, and 
the proceeds given to the poor. Why should there 
be such waste of gold and silver? Better a pewter 
cup and dish, and a leather or wicker bottle, or even 
a tavern wine pot,* by way of flagon, than any of 
such popish vessels as you describe." 

With part of this suggestion Mr. Blote was well 
pleased ; he was quite ready to see pewter substituted 
for the more precious metals, but he was by no 
means anxious to have recourse to the crucible, for 
to say truth, he had fully resolved to appropriate to 
his own use a beautiful pair of silver gilt candlesticks 
which, in obedience to the rubric, were always placed 
upon the altar ; so he met the question by saying, 
" Ah, my worthy friend, you are always ready with a 
pious suggestion ; and certainly, if there were no 
other call for it elsewhere, the surplus when these 
things are sold, might be given to the poor ; but this 
day's work will put the parish to some expense ; win- 
dows must be repaired and so forth ; I think / had 
better take charge of the plate, and dispose of it for 
these and such like purposes.' 

See Bp. Montagu's Articles of Inquiry 1638, p. 51 



THE PUBITANS. 75 

" A better plan could not be devised," answered 
the Preacher, " let us see the vessels forthwith. 
Where be they ?" 

" They are kept in an iron chest in the vestry;" 
replied Mr. Blote, " it will be well if that rascal, 
Obadiah Degge, has left the keys behind him." 

To the vestry they immediately proceeded, but 
the chest was no longer in its wonted place ; and that 
it had recently been moved, was evident, for there was 
a mark where it had been dragged along the floor, 
which, from its appearance, could not have been 
made many days. After searching about in vain for 
some time, the two reformers bethought them of fol- 
lowing up the track, and were led to a door in the 
tower which was locked. 

Tristram Sugge, the carpenter, was now called up, 
and after a good deal of trouble the door was forced 
open. The interior was very dark, but a light being 
procured, one angle of the iron chest was discovered 
peeping out from under a load of lumber which had 
been heaped over it. 

" See the cunning of these Malignants !" ex- 
claimed the Squire, as a glimmering of the truth 



76 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

flashed into his mind ; " I now remember telling 
Obadiah Degge, the last time I was here, to have 
these things ready for my inspection, and this is the 
trick the scoundrel has played me." 

".Aye, aye, he thought he had hid them where no 
eye could find them," cried Mr. Thunderplump ; 
"but we will soon shew him his error. Here, my 
friends, bear a hand and haul out this chest for us." 

The rest of the party, who had now once more 
re-entered the church came forward to assist, and 
in process of time, and after sore complaints of 
its weight, the chest was brought into the light of 
day. 

It was an iron box fastened with three locks, and 
supplied with every contrivance that could make it 
a work of labour and difficulty to break it open ; 
for it is hardly necessary to say that our friend Oba- 
diah had not left his keys behind him. 

Mr. Blote looked rather blank on inspecting it, 
but desired Tristram Sugge to fetch his tools, and 
force the locks. 

But Tristram shook his head. He was " willing 
to try, if his honour's worship desired it, but he knew 



THE PURITANS. 77 

he should only break his tools. They had better 
send for Sampson Hornyhold the blacksmith, and it 
was like to be a day's work for him." 

The blacksmith was sent for accordingly ; but 
was at first so utterly amazed at the havock which 
had been made in the church, that it was a long 
while before he could recover his senses sufficiently 
to express his opinion that it would be "a mortal 
tough job, and that he hardly knew how to set about 
it." 

However, when he had scratched his head a 
little more, and grinned at the broken windows, he 
set off to his shop, and in due time returned with a 
supply of iron crowbars, and sledge hammers, and, 
(which the Squire could have dispensed with, as he 
wished to finish his evil work without interruption) 
with half the parish at his heels. 

Loud and bitter were the complaints of the 
honest folks when they saw the desolation of their 
church ; but they were awed by the Squire's presence, 
and the sight of the warrant, and stood by in sullen 
silence, while the blacksmith laboured away at the 
iron chest. Blow fell upon blow, and one tool after 



78 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

another was bent or broken, but little or no impres- 
sion was made upon the lid. At length, at the end 
of two hours of hard labour, one of the hinges gave 
way. Every eye was then turned towards the chest. 
" It will soon come now," cried the blacksmith. 

" It is time it should," replied Mr. Blote, ap- 
proaching the box. And accordingly, after a little 
more wrenching, and a few more blows, off came the 
lid, and discovered an interior, not full of gold and 
silver sacramental plate, but containing only a mask, 
a halter, and some large stones, which had evidently 
been there placed to make the chest more weighty. 
This was all the treasure which revealed itself to 
Mr. Blote's longing eyes, and lest he should be in 
any doubt why such articles were placed there, the 
following doggrel had been chalked on the interior 
of the lid : 

"A HYPOCRITE'S MASK, AND A HANGMAN'S CORD, 
FOE WEARING THB FIRST, BE THE LAST YOUE REWARD !" 

It is impossible to describe the rage, shame, and 
vexation of Mr. Blote as he perused this complimen- 
tary couplet, and heard the shout of laughter which 
was raised by his fellow-parishioners. For a moment 



THE PUBITANS. 79 

he stood pale and trembling, with quivering lips and 
down-cast eyes, and then casting a look of hatred 
and contempt on the jeering crowd, he seized Mr. 
Thunderplump's arm, and followed by his servants 
dashed out of the church. And it was well for him, 
perhaps, he did so ; for popular indignation was so 
extreme against him, and the satisfaction so great at 
Obadiah Degge's successful trick, that had the Squire 
stayed much longer he might have been thrown into 
his own horse-pond. 

As it was, he hurried home, cursing his own stu- 
pidity for having been led step by step into the trap 
which the shrewd clerk had prepared for him. But 
Obadiah Degge was now far from Milford, and out 
of the wrathful Squire's reach ; so Mr. Blote was 
left to digest his anger as best he could ; and this 
was no easy matter. In vain Mr. Thunderplump 
endeavoured to console him, in vain he recom- 
mended him to rest in his easy chair, and to disport 
himself by reading worthy Mr. Sibbs' " Seven sobs 
of a sorrowful soul ;" " the which," he added, 
" will greatly alleviate the perturbation of your 
honour's worshipful spirit." Mr. Blote paced up 



80 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

and down the room, vowing vengeance on every 
man, woman, and child in Milford ; and it was only 
when Mr. Thunderplump suggested that such seem- 
ing distress of mind would afford an excuse to 
the enemy for saying that Mr. Blote was consci- 
ence-struck, that the Squire began to control himself. 
He then gradually assumed great dignity of manner, 
and after speaking with deep satisfaction of his hav- 
ing been the humble instrument for the reformation 
of the parish church, and for the rooting out of 
superstition; "I have now good hope," said he, 
" that we shall have painful gospel-preaching Minis- 
ters, and a place of worship no longer contaminated 
with popery; yea, a place in which I can appear 
without scruple ; and therefore Tristram Sugge, 
do you go down to the church immediately, and 
with the wainscoating which we have pulled down 
to-day, do you erect a goodly PEW, meet for a per- 
son in my station, wherein I can sit at mine ease, 
and judge of the doctrines of the preacher, without 
being crowded upon or discommoded by the common 
wretches who used to crawl to hear old Dolben." 
Under such circumstances a structure was erected 



THE PURITANS. 



81 



whose history, for the next two hundred years, we 
now propose to set before our readers, with greater 
or less minuteness, as circumstances seem to require. 




CHAPTER IV. 

f)e Dorm(tor0. 

" The reverend pile lay wild and waste, 
Profaned, dishonour'd, and defaced. 
Through storied lattices no more 
In soften'd light the sunbeams pour, 
Gilding the Gothic sculpture rich 
Of shrine, and monument, and niche. 
The Civil fury of the time 
Made sport of sacrilegious crime ; 
For dark Fanaticism rent 
Altar, and screen, and ornament" 

Walter Scott. 

As soon as Mr. Blote was recovered from the 
fatigues of his " thorough-going reformation" in Mil- 
ford Church, he began to think seriously of purify- 
ing the Parsonage, for although Mr. Dolben had 
been thrown into confinement, his wife and little 
ones were still permitted to continue in their old 



THE PURITANS. 83 

home without molestation. Such an act of mercy, 
however, being wholly at variance with the usual 
practice of the Puritans, it may perhaps be fairly 
presumed that Mrs. Dolben's continuance at Milford 
Rectory was rather the result of an accidental over- 
sight, than of any spark of pity being found in the 
bosoms of her husband's enemies. However, she 
was not left long in peace, for when pious Mr. Mum- 
grizzle in obedience to Mr. Thunderplump's sugges- 
tions, had hinted to the Squire that in his opinion no 
man would be worthy of the charge of that parish, 
who was not prepared, in humble acknowledgment 
of what Mr. Blote had done for the cause of true 
religion, to offer the glebe to that gentleman at 
half or one third of its yearly value ; the disinter- 
ested reformer was so taken with the notion, that 
acting, as he always did, upon the purest motives, he 
intimated his entire conviction that no one could be 
more fitted for the vacant post than Mr. Mumgrizzle 
himself, and undertook both to get him the appoint- 
ment, and to put him in possession of the glebe 
house, and its appurtenances. 

Accordingly, in about ten days after the events 

62 



84 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

recorded in the last chapter, the Earl of Stamford 
who at that time had the charge of pillaging all that 
kept faith and allegiance to the king in the district 
wherein Milford was situated, sent a troop of horse 
to appropriate for the use of the State (for in that 
day, as well as in our own, public theft was called 
" appropriation,") all the victuals, corn, and house- 
hold stuff on which they could lay their hands ; and 
so faithfully did they execute their commission, that 
they not only carried off every thing of the slightest 
value which was moveable, but they broke up and 
burned the heavier articles of furniture, they seized 
the property of the servants, stripped an infant in its 
cradle for the value of its clothes, and when Mrs. 
Dolben and her children besought them on their 
knees to leave them one loaf, they refused the peti- 
tion, swearing with frightful oaths " that they would 
keep them so short, that they should eat the very 
flesh from their arms ;" and when they had turned 
the miserable family out of doors, they actually took 
security of the neighbours that they would give them 
no food, and threatened the village miller, " that if 
he ground any corn for the malignant woman and 



THE PURITANS. 85 

her children, they would grind him in his own 
mill."* 

It was in the dusk of a cold, rainy, autumnal 
evening that Mrs. Dolben found herself ejected from 
her home, surrounded by her terrified and weeping 
little ones, and bearing in her arms her naked infant. 
Her first care was to strip off some portion of her 
own clothing, and wrap it round the chilly limbs of 
the helpless babe ; her next to endeavour to find 
some place of shelter for the night. The troopers 
being still in the village, she did not choose to expose 
any of her poor neighbours to the risk of that bar- 
barity and plunder, for which their harbouring her 

See an account of the treatment experienced by the family of 
Thomas Swift, Vicar of Goodrich, in Herefordshire, in Walker's Suf- 
ferings of the Clergy, p. 361, in which, in addition to the atrocities 
detailed above, and many others, it is recorded that the mother of the 
family being obliged to fly for her life, was unable to carry her un- 
weaned infant with her ; and the Puritan soldiers, continues Walker, 
" ransacking every corner of the house, that nothing might be left 
behind, they find a small pewter dish in which the dry nurse had put 
pap to feed the poor babe : this they seize on too : the nurse intreats 
for God's sake, that they would spare that: pleading that in the 
mother's absence it was all the sustenance which was, or could be, 
provided to sustain the child's life ; and on her knees intreated to shew 
mercy to the child, that knew not the right hand from the left : 
but" instead of granting her petition, "they threw the food to their 
dogs, and put up the dish as their lawful prize." 



86 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

might have afforded a pretext; and therefore on 
leaving the rectory, she proceeded at once into the 
fields behind it, in hopes of gaining admittance into 
a barn which lay at no great distance. But she was 
doomed to disappointment, the barn was locked, and 
the nearest dwelling house a mile distant. The mo- 
ther pressed her baby to her bosom, and burst into a 
flood of tears. But she was not one to yield to the im- 
pulse of her feelings, and become helpless when it was 
her duty to exert herself. For a minute or two she 
sat down upon a stone which lay near her, to reflect 
what was the best course to pursue, and then wiping 
away her tears, and kissing her children one by one, 
she bade them be of good comfort, they would soon 
walk a mile, and they would be safe from further 
violence at Goody Bink's lonely cottage. They had 
hardly proceeded a hundred yards, however, before 
two or three drunken troopers dashed by in the very 
direction to which they were going. The unhappy 
family were thus once more cut off from their hope 
of security ; and Mrs. Dolben was reflecting how she 
could best protect her children from the inclemency of 
the night air to which they now seemed destined to be 



THE PURITANS. 87 

exposed, when the sound of the church clock, and 
the sight of the old tower looming through the even- 
ing mist, suggested the thought that there was a 
chance of shelter within its walls. Thither, there- 
fore, Mrs. Dolben turned her steps, creeping along 
the hedge sides, and pursuing the most circuitous 
route, and followed in silence by her children. 

It was now nearly dark, for the moon had not yet 
risen, but before Mrs. Dolben reached the field 
nearest the churchyard, she became sensible that 
some person was following her steps at a little dis- 
tance. When she stopped, the figure stopped too, 
and apparently endeavoured to conceal itself. The 
mother's heart beat fast, and she hesitated whether 
or not to advance further : but on looking back at a 
moment when the figure of her pursuer was no longer 
shrouded from observation under the shade of the 
hedge, but was standing out in full relief against the 
sky, she perceived to her unspeakable comfort that 
the dreaded intruder was a woman like herself, and 
she therefore resolved to approach her. She had 
not retraced many steps when the stranger hurried 
forward, and exclaimed: "Is it Madam Dolben? 
Thank God I have found you at last !" 



88 MILFOBD MALVOISLN. 

" Oh ! my good Mary Gretton," cried the cler- 
gyman's wife, recognizing instantaneously the voice 
and person of one of her poor neighbours, " Are you 
a sufferer like myself? Have you been driven out 
of your home this bitter night?" 

" Oh no, Ma'am, the wicked soldiers have spared 
us, but we heard what had happened to you ; and 
so Ann Clarke, and Dolly Banks, and Margaret 
Fletcher, and I agreed that we should each of us 
take a different road, find out where you were, and 
bring you food and what we could for the poor chil- 
dren. Bless their hearts, poor things, they must be 
well nigh clem'd with cold and hunger. Alack, 
alack, that we should have ever lived to see such a 
day as this." 

Deeply touched at the kindness and affection of 
the generous cottagers, Mrs. Dolben attempted to 
express her thanks, but the tears choked her utter- 
ance; and she could only press Mary Gretton's 
hand. 

" Ah, dear, dear !" cried the latter, " your hand 
is as cold as a corpse's ; and these darlings will perish 
if they stand longer here. I dare not offer you a 
lodging in my cottage yonder, (though I am sure, 



THE PURITANS. 89 

Madam, you are welcome to it, and every thing else, 
for you have been a good friend to me and mine, and 
I owe you more than I can ever pay) but the town 
is so full of those rascal soldiers, that you would not 
be safe for a moment ; but the last place they are 
likely to come to will be the Church, and if you 
could make shift to sleep there to night, we, (that 
is Ann Clarke and I) could make you tolerably com- 
fortable ; I have brought some bread and meat in 
my basket, and a bottle of milk.'' 

By this time they had entered the churchyard. 
All was still and quiet there, save the owls that ever 
and anon hooted to each other as they wheeled along 
in heavy flight, and quitted in search of prey the 
dark yew-trees which sheltered them during the 
day time. The children started, and clustered 
round their mother, at the unwonted sound, but the 
wanderers were exposed to no more serious interrup- 
tion, and in a few moments they entered the church- 
porch. This porch, (as is not uncommonly the case,) 
contained a small chamber, (or parvise, as it was 
anciently called) in the story above, which was sup- 
posed to have been the sleeping apartment of the 



90 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

chantry-priest, and which Mrs. Dolben thought 
would be a resting-place, secure at once from inter- 
ruption, and less irreverent than the interior of the 
Sacred edifice itself. Ah 1 the other doors of the 
church had been broken open, as the reader knows, 
a fortnight before, and (considering who had now the 
chief authority in such matters,) it need hardly be 
added that they had not been subsequently repaired. 
It happened, however, that on the day when the 
House of God was exposed to the ravages of the 
Puritans, the parvise had been overlooked : the 
doorway of entrance to the staircase which led to it, 
being small, and hidden by the main door of the 
church when thrown back on its hinges, had escap- 
ed observation, and unluckily for Mrs. Dolben re- 
mained locked. 

So the mother and her children sat down on the 
bench in the porch, and while they ate with thank- 
fulness the food which their kind friend had pro- 
vided for them, Mary Gretton proceeded into the 
church to look for some sheltered spot in which they 
might pass the night. The moon had now risen, and 
beaming through the broken windows, and open 



THE PURITANS. 91 

doors, revealed with tolerable distinctness the inte- 
rior of the church. Everything was in the confusion 
in which it had been left, and the cold wind, as it 
sighed through the deserted aisles, seemed to mourn 
over the melancholy scene, and the desecration 
which had come upon the House of God. Vain, 
however, were Mary's attempts to find a sheltered 
spot ; the night air seemed to rush in eddies round 
every pillar, and to pour down from every broken 
lattice, and she was about to leave the body of the 
building, and endeavour to find a more comfortable 
place in the room below the bell chamber, when 
Squire Blote's new pew struck her eye, At first 
she hardly comprehended its nature and object, but 
on entering it she speedily made the discovery 
(although it possessed none of the cushions and car- 
pets, and luxurious accommodation of modern pews) 
that it was still a very tolerable resting-place for a 
homeless family on a cold night. " It's a pity," she 
said, looking upward at the mass of carpentry, which 
supported by corkscrew columns at each of its four 
angles, formed a sort of canopy above the seat ; " It's 
a pity they didn't make the lid fit close to the top of 



92 MILFOED MALVOI8IN. 

the box ; it would have been more private for them 
as could'nt say their prayers with their neighbours, 
and all the warmer for you, Madam," addressing Mrs. 
Dolben, "but it looks all the more like the tester, 
if you can but think yourself in bed." So saying, she 
heaped together a quantity of the rushes with which 
the church was strewed, and having stripped off her 
cloak, spread it over them, and thus made a soft and 
easy resting place for the mother and her children. 
Nor was this the full extent of Mary Gretton's 
kindness, or the only proof of her affectionate solici- 
tude : for when she had taken leave of Mrs. Dolben, 
and closed the church doors as well as she was able, 
instead of returning home, she continued to peram- 
bulate the churchyard for the remainder of the night, 
ready to give alarm on the approach of an intruder. 

There is no kindness like the kindness of the 
poor ; nothing so affecting as their devotion to those 
to whom they really feel themselves indebted ; no- 
thing so refined, so delicate, so thoughtful as their 
attentions where they choose to bestow them. Those 
only who do not know them can speak harshly of 



THE PUBITANS. 93 

them. Some of course there must be who are false, 
or mercenary, or ungrateful ; but speaking of them 
generally, the more they are known the more will 
their merits be appreciated ; their patience, their 
self-denial, their kindliness one towards another; 
and no one can have much intercourse with them, 
without realizing in his own feelings those touching 
lines of Wordsworth : 

" I've heard of hearts unkind, kind deeds 
With coldness still returning ; 
Alas ! the gratitude of men 
Hath oftener left me mourning." * 

While Mary Gretton was thus keeping watch 
and ward without the Church, the Rector's family 
were settling themselves for the night in Mr. Blote's 
pew; and so soon as they were alone, Mrs. Dolben 
knelt down with her children, and offered up her 
thanksgivings for the mercy which had carried them 
safe through the perils of the past day ; and then, 
when in addition to their usual prayers for protection 
through the night, she had besought God to pardon 
their enemies, persecutors, and slanderers, and to 
turn their hearts, the whole family laid themselves 

* Works. Vol. 3, p. 225. 



94 MILFOBD MALVOI8IN. 

down to rest. The children, weary and exhausted, 
were scarcely in a recumbent posture before they 
were in a deep sleep ; for a time their mother was 
too anxious to be able to share their slumbers, she 
started at every gust of wind, and the rustling of the 
ivy on the old walls seemed to her fevered imagina- 
tion like the approach of the spoilers. But in a 
while she reflected that it was her duty for her chil- 
dren's sake to get all the rest she could, and so after 
comforting herself by repeating such Psalms as the 
91st., and 121st., and by remembering in Whose 
House she was, and to Whose protection she had 
committed herself, she laid her head on her rushy 
pillow, and slept as calmly and undisturbedly as the 
infant at her breast. 

Perhaps the reader will wonder at the minuteness 
of these details, but as its affording shelter to the 
Dolben family in their distress was the only good 
thing which can be predicated of the Blote Pew, 
during the two hundred years which it existed, 
a sense of justice compels us not to withhold the 
praise, that on a very pressing emergency, it was 
not a very bad bed. 



THE PURITANS. 95 

Of the fortunes of those who witnessed the erec- 
tion of the edifice in question, it is not our purpose 
to say much. The day after their ejection from Mil- 
ford Rectory the family of the persecuted Rector left 
the parish, and escaping further perils, contrived in 
obscurity to gain a precarious livelihood. 

Meanwhile, the Puritans had it all their own way 
at Milford Malvoisin. Mahalaleel Mumgrizzle was 
appointed Minister, took possession of the vacant 
Rectory, and Mr. Blote occupied his new pew, and 
occasionally, it is believed, slumbered throughout the 
greater part of his chaplain's long-winded discourses. 
The church was well filled at first, for many people 
were curious to see how the late vendor of cow-heels 
would acquit himself; but when they found that his 
performances were just such as might have been ex- 
pected, and nothing more, the congregation dropped 
off one by one, and at the end of a couple of years, 
Mr. Blote and his immediate dependents were the 
only attendants on the intruder's ministrations. 

Nothing went well: a sort of blight seemed to 
have fallen on Milford Malvoisin and all its belong- 
ings. The people grew vicious and discontented ; 



96 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

profligacy of every kind abounded more and more, and 
that which was once a well ordered parish, became 
proverbial for the bad character of its inhabitants. 
They had cast off their allegiance to the Church, and 
the crime failed not, even in this world, to bring its 
own punishment with it. As for the Squire, himself, 
he found to his cost, ere a long while had elapsed, 
what manner of spirit he had introduced among his 
neighbours. He soon discovered that the viper he 
had warmed and cherished for the destruction of 
others, could turn upon himself ; he learned, by bit- 
ter experience, that the flood once admitted, was 
indiscriminate in its violence, and that he had no 
security of not being swept away by the torrent. 
Heretofore he had been unpopular through his grasp- 
ing, greedy disposition, and over-bearing temper, 
but nobody shewed their dislike by overt acts : now 
he saw himself detested, and nobody attempted to 
conceal it : the artificial barriers of rank and station 
once broken through, he had no other claim on the 
respect of his neighbours, and he was treated accord- 
ingly. 

Nor was this all : his estate become involved, and 



THE PURITANS. 97 

misfortune after misfortune came crowding upon him. 
Like the wicked Uncle in the ballad of the Babes in 
the Wood, 

" His barns were fir'd, his goods consum'd, 

His lands were barren made ; 
His cattle died within the field, 
And nothing with him stayed." 

As years passed on he became so fractious and ill- 
tempered, that it was with difficulty any person 
could be prevailed upon to continue in his service ; 
and when a stroke of paralysis had distorted his fea- 
tures, and impeded his utterance, he became such a 
miserable object that it began to be whispered abroad 
that his misfortunes were not like those of other men, 
and that he was certainly possessed, or bewitched ; 
and this opinion grew so strong that Mr. Mumgrizzle 
at length resolved, according to the received fashion 
among the Puritans, to convene an assembly of min- 
isters, who should, by their prayers and exorcisms, 
deliver his patron from the power of the Evil One. 
What might have been the result of such a plan it is 
hard to say, probably Mr. Blote would have kicked 
his visitors down stairs if he had been strong enough 
to do so, but Mr. Mumgrizzle's benevolent in- 



98 M1LFORD MALVOISIN. 

tentions were frustrated by a circumstance which 
had never entered into his calculations ; his patron, 
in the course of the year 1659, was seized with a fit, 
while in church, which carried him off instantane- 
ously. 

It happened upon the occasion in question, that 
Mr. Mumgrizzle had heen rather annoyed by the loud- 
ness of the Squire's snoring at the commencement 
of the sermon. The sound, indeed, was anything 
but an unusual one, but still as the Preacher was 
dwelling with peculiar unction on what was with him 
a very favourite subject, the impossibility that a 
Church-of-England-man could be saved, he was 
unwilling that the congregation should lose any por- 
tion of the arguments by which he supported so 
charitable and comfortable a doctrine, and he was 
proportionably vexed at the snortings and stertorous 
breathings which proceeded from Mr. Blote's pew. 
However, the noise waxed gradually fainter, and by 
the time that Mumgrizzle (warming with the sub- 
ject) had turned the hour-glass beside him, and was 
preparing to enter on his thirteenth sub-division, 
the Squire was as quiet as a lamb. And no won- 



THE PTJKITANS. 99 

der, the apoplexy had done its work ; and as he was 
ensconced in his inclosed seat, nobody could see that 
there was anything amiss. Had he not been so boxed 
up in his own pew as to be out of sight, the seizure 
would have been known, and help might possibly 
have been rendered, while help could have availed 
him. As it was, however, when the serving-man 
opened the pew-door, he beheld his master sitting 
bolt-up in the corner of the pew, with his jaw drop- 
ped, his eyes glazed, and his once empurpled coun- 
tenance changed to a dingy yellow; in a word, 
stone dead. 

A pleasant consideration this, for nervous people 
who are fond of having their pews all to themselves ! 

Such an event was a heavy blow to the Puritans 
of Milford Malvoisin, and Mr. Mumgrizzle preached 
for seven Sundays consecutively, on the virtues of 
the deceased Squire, the wickedness of witches, and 
the troubles that were come upon the Faithful. Be- 
fore another year, however, was over, Mr. Mum- 
grizzle found himself beset by far heavier troubles, 
the restoration of the lawful King, the downfall of 
9 



100 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

Puritan mis-rule, and the extreme probability of his 
own speedy ejection from the office into which he 
had so unworthily intruded himself. But Mahala- 
leel was not the only man who found himself simi- 
larly circumstanced ; many, indeed, who had left 
their shop-boards for the pulpit, now quietly return- 
ed to their former professions, and ceased to advo- 
cate the cause of Puritanism, or in other words, that 
of tyranny, rebellion, and spiritual pride. But Mas- 
ter Mumgrizzle had lived too long and too comfort- 
ably in the parsonage of Milford Malvoisin to be 
able to make up his mind to revert to his ancient 
trade as a seller of tripe and cow-heels. Accord- 
ingly, having turned all his property into ready 
money, pocketed a considerable amount of the 
parochial charities, and sold all the timber on the 
glebe, this worthy joined his friend Thunderplump, 
and in company with many others who felt that 
Britain was no longer the place for their mischievous 
principles and dark intrigues, embarked for New 
England, where he set up the trade of a witch-finder, 
and endeavoured, (though for the credit of human 
nature we are happy to add that his diabolical scheme 



THE PURITANS. 101 

failed,) to revive the horrible persecution which 
twenty years before the Puritans had raised against 
the weak and friendless of their own countrymen 
whom they chose to denounce as leagued with 
Satan.* 

A few months saw Mr. Dolben re-instated in his 
parsonage and restored to his parishioners ; who 
profiting by their dear-bought experience, welcomed 
his return among them with sincere and heartfelt 
joy. He had escaped from the custody of his gaolers, 
and thus avoided being sold as a slave to the Turks, 
but his life for many years had been one of extreme 
privation and danger, and it was more than eight 
years after his ejection from Milford before he was 
re-united to his wife and children, whom he found 
living in obscurity in the north of England. 

His first object in returning to the home of his 
youth was to restore to its ancient decency and 
honour the church which, through a long course of 

Under this monstrous delusion (if indeed it was a delusion, 
and not a mere cloke for yet deeper wickedness) the Puritans racked 
and murdered not men and women only, but infants and dogs. See 
Mather's Magnalia, Book vi. ch. 82 ; and Walter Scott's Letters on 
Dem ono logy and Witchcraft, p. 874 282. 



102 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

years, had been left to desolation and decay. At 
this pious task he laboured early and late ; to it he 
devoted nearly the whole of his professional income, 
and, together with his family, submitted to all man. 
ner of privation and self-denial in order to gain the 
blessed privilege of repairing the breaches in the 
House of God. Nor did he want active coadjutors ; 
his own return to Milford was speedily followed by 
that of Obadiah Degge, who was but too glad to cast 
aside his buff coat and sword belt, and enter once 
more upon his old duties, which, to say truth, were 
more congenial to his taste (albeit in his latter days 
he was wont to tell mercilessly long tales about him- 
self and Prince Rupert) than the wandering life and 
daily perils of the stout-hearted Cavaliers. He, 
therefore, was among the most energetic labourers 
in the work of restoration, and great, as may be 
supposed, was his joy and pride when he discovered 
the Communion plate safe and sound in the place 
where he had buried it the night before Mr. Blote's 
sacrilegious visitation : the only thing wanted to 
complete the old man's triumph was to have it 
shared by his favourite nephew Eli Higgle, and even 



THE PURITANS. 103 

this sweet drop was mingled with his cup, for he 
lived to see the saucy, mischief-loving boy, who had 
so effectually aided him in his designs upon the 
Squire and his myrmidons, return to Milford Malvoi- 
sin a monied man, with a competency honourably 
gained, and that without any sacrifice of loyalty to 
Church or King. 

Still, although it was thus permitted the chief actors 
in the scenes we have described, to meet once more 
under happier auspices, they were all altered men. 
Chance and change, care and trouble, losses and be- 
reavements, had done their desolating work, and the 
tone and temper of their minds had suffered from the 
unsettled character of the times. Mr. Dolben felt 
this, and he felt, moreover, that much of his future 
usefulness depended upon the discretion which he 
should display in soothing and allaying the angry 
feelings which the long period of civil strife had en- 
gendered among his flock. And to this may be 
attributed an incident which otherwise would have 
seemed to betray a very culpable indifference to- 
wards the orderly arrangement of his church. 

" To be sure," said he one day to Obadiah Degge, 



104 MILFOKD MALVOI8IN. 

" the church is sadly defaced with those half dozen 
pews that have been erected in our absence !" 

" Ah ! you may well say that, Sir," was Obadiah's 
reply ; " in my poor judgment, the place looks now 
for all the world as if a giant had thrown down at 
random a handfull of packing boxes on the church 
floor : I suppose, Sir, you will have them all taken 
away ?" 

" I will try and induce the occupiers to remove 
them." 

" But suppose they won't agree ?" 

"Why then, Obadiah, we must e'en let them 
stand. Circumstanced as the Church now is, we 
must take great care that those who have once actu- 
ally cast off their allegiance to her, and trampled her 
in the dust, should not have any fresh excuse for 
seceding from her; we must make allowances, and 
try to win them to a better spirit by degrees. Pews 
are unsightly things, which never could have been 
formed except where Christian humility was absent ; 
still it seems better to bear with them in this season of 
distress. Nay, even yonder structure" continued 
the Eector, pointing to Mr. Blote's pew, "even 



THE PURITANS. 105 

yonder structure, made as it was by unholy men of 
fragments of what had been sacrilegiously destroyed, 
may well be tolerated for a while, if it serve in its very 
deformity to remind us and our children, that of all 
the sins into which men can fall, spiritual pride is 
the most dangerous, and the most inevitably destruc- 
tive." 

Thus it fell out that Mr. Blote set the fashion of 
Pews in the Church of Milford Malvoisin ; and tJte 
fashion mas worthy of its Patron, and the princi- 
ciples of his Party. 




IS HE, 



"An I have not forgotten what the 
inside of a Church is made of, I am a 
peppercorn, a "brewer's horse." 

SHAKSPEAR. 



CHAPTEK V. 



She strove the neighbourhood to please, 
With manners wondrous winning ; 

And never followed wicked ways, 
Unless when she was sinning. 

At church, in silks and satins new, 

And hoop of monstrous size ; 
She never slumbered in her pew, 

But when she shut her eyes. 

Goldsmith. 

WE are disposed to think that if we were to give 
with any great minuteness the entire history of our 
wooden hero, the Pern, we should produce a very un- 
readable, and (which would be infinitely distressing 
to our own proper selves) unsaleable book, and 
therefore, after the example of Shakspear and a 



110 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

vast body of authors who have found themselves in 
a like predicament, we shall 



-turn the glass ; and give our scene such growing 



As you had slept between :" . 

and 

" Take upon us in the name of time 
To shift our wings." 

In a word, we shall pass over the events, or rather 
the uneventful period of two hundred years, and with 
only a very brief notice, 



leave the growth untried 



Of that wide gap." 

Upon the decease of Mr. Blote his estate was 
sold, and another family took possession of Milford 
Grange. But the new Squire was a courtier, and shar- 
ing in the profligacy of the time, passed his days in the 
dissipations of the metropolis, and only visited Mil- 
ford Malvoisin for the purpose of collecting his rents; 
so the great pew continued empty for many a year, 
till the Squire died, and his maiden sister succeeded 
to the estate : then once more the pew found an occu- 
pant, and a little cross-looking old woman appeared 

Winters Tale. Time's Prologue to Act IV. 



THE CHURCHMEN. Ill 

Sunday after Sunday, seated in solitary dignity in 
one corner of its ample inclosure. 

It happened, however, that upon some unlucky 
occasion, two or three strangers paid a visit to the 
church, who seeing no vacant places elsewhere, very 
naturally concluded that there would be no great 
harm in entering a pew twenty feet long, by six wide, 
which was wholly unoccupied. They had hardly 
taken up their position, however, when Miss Wrinkle- 
trap made her appearance ; and after gazing at them 
with the same sort of expression which we may ima- 
gine Macbeth exhibited when he discovered his seat 
already filled by the ghost of Banquo, she actually 
turned on her heel, and left the church. But by 
the following Sunday a strong lock had been affixed 
to the pew door, and for twenty years afterwards Miss 
Wrinkletrap carried the key in her pocket to church, 
and having admitted herself, locked the door on the 
inside, till service was over. 

Meanwhile, the taste for pews was on the increase; 
nobody could pray unless they had a box to pray in : 
the gentry had set the fashion, and the farmers must 
imitate the gentry, and the small tradesmen must 



112 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

imitate the farmers ; and so it came to pass that the 
poor were forced into the coldest, darkest, and most 
distant corners of the church, till, by degrees, so few 
sittings were left for them, that those who came late 
had to stand about in the aisles, or to rest themselves 
on the steps of the chancel. Thus the pews of the 
rich, drove the poor to the meeting-house ; and the 
pride of the upper classes produced in great measure 
the schisms we now deplore. Like the hypocrites of 
old, they would not enter the way of Life themselves, 
and those that were entering in they hindered. 

From the aera of the Revolution may be traced the 
rapid downfall of Church principles ; a low standard 
of faith and duty was introduced among the Clergy ; 
politics rather than piety were made the test of merit ; 
coldness and latitudinarianism abounded ; the ordi- 
nances of the Church were neglected, her frequent 
services abandoned, and her influence grew weaker 
and weaker, while the apathy and carelessness of her 
children proportionably increased. 

Of course Milford Malvoisin did not escape the 
infection ; its inhabitants received the impress of the 
time, and in the Church, as elsewhere, the religion of 



THE CHURCHMEN. 113 

the day held its place. One Squire succeeded to 
another ; one came to church, one did not ; one 
loved fox-hunting, and the ale-cask ; one loved his 
claret and deep play ; but each new occupant of the 
Grange growled more than his predecessor at a 
church-rate, and grumbled more at the payment of 
tithes : each treated the Clergyman more and more 
as an inferior, and, perhaps, alas ! each Rector failed 
more and more to maintain his proper position, and 
assert his rights spiritual and temporal. 

Under such circumstances the pew-system con- 
tinued to nourish : and Divine service being looked 
upon by many as little more than a mere form, it 
became rather an advantage than otherwise that 
each family should be hidden from its neighbour, 
and neither should be aware of the indecencies which 
the other was committing in the House of God. For 
instance, under the " boundless contiguity of shade" 
produced by Mr. Blotc's canopy over the Grange-pew, 
the little boys of the family could crack nuts, make 
faces at each other, cut their names on the pannels, 
and draw caricatures in the fly -leaves of their Prayer- 
books without any risk of their being seen, and 
i 



114 MILFORD MALVOI8IN. 

their bad example followed by farmer Bull's hopeful 
progeny, who were content with spinning cock-cha- 
fers at the proper season, and sucking liquorice, and 
lolly-pops during the remainder of the year. So, in 
the obscurity of the same pew, the young Squire 
and his pretty cousin having sat opposite to each 
other for many Sundays, and grown weary of count- 
ing the bosses on the roof, began to study the expres- 
sion of each others eyes, and arriving at the conclu- 
sion that it would not be disagreeable to either if they 
knelt side by side, contrived during successive litanies, 
to carry on their courtship so prudently, that not a 
soul suspected it, till after their clandestine marri- 
age ; which, of course, prevented many premature 
reports, and at the same time hindered the infection 
of flirtation from spreading among the plough-boys 
and maid servants. So, likewise, under the same 
convenient veil of privacy did the old Squire com- 
pose himself to slumber as soon as the sermon com- 
menced, without any risk of its being positively 
ascertained that certain guttural sounds did not, as 
was charitably supposed, emanate wholly and solely 
from his lady's lapdog. In short, the great pew had 



THE CHUECHMEN. 115 

its advantages as well as its dignity, and as by the 
commencement of the nineteenth century it had be- 
gun to look very venerable in comparison with the 
deal boxes which filled all the rest of the church, 
there is no knowing how much longer it might not 
have been preserved in statu quo. 

It unfortunately happened, however, for those 
who admired the structure in question, that the parish 
clerk having sent down his two boys to clean the 
church, according to annual custom, on Christmas 
eve, the lads took it into their heads that a game at 
ball would lighten the labours of the broom. At ball, 
therefore, they played, till, in an unlucky moment, the 
ball lodged on the top of the canopy which overhung 
the pew. Of course it was fine fun to swarm up the 
spiral pillars that supported it, and had they been 
content with reaching the lost ball no great mischief 
would have been done, but when, having mounted 
the canopy, they proceeded to dance on it, the 
natural result followed ; that which from below 
appeared sound enough, was in fact worm-eaten 
through and through, and so completely decayed, 
that it gave way bodily in the midst of the boys' 
i2 



116 M1LFORD MALVOISIN. 

antics, and came down with a tremendous crash just 
as the clerk entered the church, and thereby gave 
him in the shape of a doctor's bill a fruitful warning 
of the inexpediency of doing his work by deputy.* 

At the time when this circumstance occurred, that 
is to say, some six or eight years ago, Sir Peter Pin- 
fold had recently completed the purchase of the Mil- 
ford estate, and with his Lady had come down to 
take possession. 

Sir Peter was just one of those good sort of peo- 
ple whom it is very difficult to describe, but who are 

The profaneness and irreverence exercised by the servants of 
the Church, vergers, clerks, sextons, pew-openers, &c., are so grievous 
that these persons ought to be constantly and narrowly watched by 
those in authority over them. It happened to the writer no great while 
since to visit a cathedial during the time of its annual cleaning. All 
the men employed were wearing their hats, and one of them was busy 
folding up a mat, which he laid upon a Bishop's tomb, and then whis- 
tled to his great bull-terrier to come and take possession of the 
bed he had spread for him. Still more recently visiting a church 
(famous for its painted windows) and which is now undergoing exten- 
sive repairs, he found the workmen singing at the full pitch of their 
lungs, which, however, was the less to be wondered at as they had 
two large jugs of ale brought into the church, during the short time the 
writer was inspecting it. The font had just been filled with cow's hair 
for the benefit of the plasterers. In another church, the ringers were in 
the habit of using the passage round the bell-chamber for the filthiest 
purposes imaginable. It is very painful to speak of such things, but 
no good can be obtained by passing them over in silence. 



THE CHUECHMEN. 117 

probably not a very rare class among our country 
gentlemen. He was respectable in morals, respect- 
able in abilities, respectable in his family connexions, 
respectable in his worldly circumstances: a good, 
dull, ordinary man ; plethoric, prosy, positive, and 
passionate, as Squires often become who have not 
much to do, have no dislike to flattery, are not ex- 
posed to much contradiction, consider poaching a 
worse crime than murder, and are usually called to the 
chair at turnpike-meetings. Moreover, he was some 
what obstinate and wrong-headed, and had a great 
abhorrence of improvements in general, and of rail- 
roads and political economy, in particular. He read 
little, and ate much, and as a talker, greatly preferred 
the subject of short-horns and shear-hogs to any other 
topic of conversation. But always bating his sudden 
gusts of passion, and an extreme sensitiveness with 
respect to his rights, Sir Peter had many amiable 
points, was an excellent landlord, a kind master, 
and an indulgent father and husband. 

Being, however, so jealous with respect to any 
infringement of his property, the catastrophe which 
had befallen the top of his pew, was just the thing to 



118 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

throw him into a towering rage, and when the terri- 
fied clerk had made his confession, the Baronet 
broke forth into such a fury that he burst both the 
strings of his waistcoat, and nearly twisted his wig 
the wrong side before ; then threatening the unlucky 
culprits with all the vengeance of the law, he wrote 
a note to the Curate (for there was no resident Rec- 
tor) begging his immediate attendance. 

Now it so happened that the Reverend Fashie 
Macfuss was even a later arrival at Milford Malvoisin 
than Sir Peter himself (having only been ordained 
Deacon two or three Sundays before) ; and therefore 
knowing nothing of the Baronet's peculiarities, he 
naturally took it for granted that something very 
important had occurred, and as he was exceedingly 
anxious to gain a high character for zeal, and to im- 
press the Squire with a strong sense of his many 
excellencies, he put on his hat at once, and ran the 
greatest part of the way from his own house to Mil- 
ford Grange. 

There certainly is something very arduous and 
anxious in the mere act of undertaking the duties ol 



THE CHURCHMEN. 119 

a parish. We are not now speaking of the awful 
responsibilities of the pastoral care, of the diligence, 
the faithfulness, the humility, the caution, the sin- 
gle-heartedness, and the thousand other qualities 
required for the office of the Priesthood, the thought 
of which must needs be overwhelmning to every 
conscientious clergyman : we are simply alluding to 
the minor difficulties to which a young, shy, and 
inexperienced person is exposed, who finds himself 
transplanted into a crowd of strangers, whose eyes 
are all upon him, and who continually refer to him 
for advice and help which he as yet hardly trusts 
himself to offer. It would be an inestimable advan- 
tage to our clergy themselves if all were compelled 
to pass their Diaconate under some experienced eye, 
and thus serve an apprenticeship, as it were, before 
they were admitted to the sole charge of a parish. 
And how great the advantage to the Church would 
be if some such regulation were enforced, let the 
incumbents of our large towns declare, who are now 
compelled, as it were, " to serve tables," and are 
overburdened with a multitude of almost secular 
occupations, and other matters which would be more 



120 MILFOED MALVOI8IN. 

efficiently performed by a body of Deacons. The 
period of a young man's first appearance in his 
curacy is, as we have said, an anxious time, but it is 
lamentable to observe how many difficulties our 
youthful Ministers create for themselves, when in- 
stead of entering on their appointed charge, in an 
humble, diffident, subdued tone of mind, they come 
burning with a zeal which seems to pre-suppose that 
nobody but themselves ever felt sufficient care for 
the spiritual welfare of their parishioners. Self-love 
is at the bottom of all this ; and until that be eradi- 
cated, and the vanity that accompanies it, no man 
can with any sincerity say, " We preach not our- 
selves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your 
servants for Jesus' sake." And this very mischiev- 
ous temper is confined to no party in the church. 
On the one hand it is easy to find persons of (so 
called) Evangelical principles, hindering instead of 
promoting the "free course" of that Gospel, of 
which they claim to be the exclusive advocates ; and 
this, not from any lack of sincerity, but from vanity 
which offends, injudiciousness which disgusts, and 
sometimes, it is to be feared, from ignorance which 



THE CHURCHMEN. 121 

is painfully distressing to many of their parishion- 
ers. 

On the other hand, we are continually hearing of 
all sorts of ill-judged outbreaks of zeal among young 
advocates of High Church principles. One man will 
go to a neglected parish, and revive daily service, 
before his flock have learned to be thankful that 
the church is opened twice instead of once on a 
Sunday : a second, on arriving at a place full of 
Dissenters, will, in his love of antiquity (or noto- 
riety), attempt the restoration of some usage long 
laid aside, or for which there is no very direct autho- 
rity in our formularies, and thus lay himself open to 
the charges of Popery, and so forth : a third, with 
right feelings but unsound judgment, will do some 
act (right in itself, but injudicious from the cir- 
cumstances or period of its adoption,) which will 
make his parishioners suspicious of his piinciples, 
though, if he would only have been content to wait 
a little until he was known, it might have been done 
with great advantage. And indiscretions of this sort 
are far more inexcusable in High Churchmen than 
in others, insomuch as they profess to allow them- 



122 MILFOKD MALVOI8IN. 

selves less license of judgment, and more ready 
and complete obedience to their ecclesiastical su- 
periors than others do : and, moreover, if they really 
love the principles which they advocate, and feel 
that on their being steadily maintained the welfare 
of the Church depends, they will act upon the con- 
viction that it is quite impossible to be too cautious 
in all they do or say ; and though they will never 
yield an essential point through the mere dread of 
clamour, they will take care to determine accurately 
what is essential and what is not, and they will be 
more anxious to avail themselves of seasonable, than 
unseasonable opportunities.* After all, nearly the 

The only safe rule for a clergyman to follow, is to make no 
changes without license from his Bishop. This sort of deference 
to episcopal authority is the very foundation of Church principles. It 
is far better to suffer loss through the refusal of a Bishop to allow the 
restoration of a neglected practice, however valuable, than for an 
individual to take upon himself to make changes in the existing order 
of things without the sanction of his Diocesan. If young clergymen, 
(and it is to these only we presume to address ourselves) would give 
due weight to this reflection, we should hear no more of those indis- 
creet, not to say silly, proceedings, which have given such dire offence 
to the Low-Church party, which are viewed with so much alarm by 
multitudes of persons who dread what they consider as innovations, 
and which never fail to increase the difficulties (already so great) 
of those who endeavour to keep and advocate the true Catholic 
mean between Popery and Ultra-protestantism. 



THE CHTTBCHMEN. 123 

whole secret of a young man's clerical usefulness, 
will be found in his adherence to a pithy piece of 
advice which we once heard a very eminent person 
give to one with whom he was discussing the mean- 
ing of the Apostolic injunction, " Let not your good 
be evil spoken of;" "Ah, my good friend," said he, 
" remember my words, and when you come to have 
a parish of your own, don't turn that parish upside 
dov/n,just because you think yourself an angel" 

Now this was exactly the rock upon which Mr. 
Macfuss split : he " thought himself an angel." We 
do not mean that he ever said to himself in so many 
words that he was better adapted for the office of 
parish priest than any body of his acquaintance, but 
he had a comfortable sort of assurance that he was 
just the person for the task, and he was full of visions 
of what wonderful reforms he was destined to accom- 
plish, and what astonishing improvements it would 
be his fortune to introduce into the parochial sys- 
tem. He looked upon his reverend brethren gene- 
rally, as dowdy both in body and mind, hedged about 
with prejudices as rusty as their coats ; amiable, in- 
deed, but indolent ; learned, perhaps, in old-world 



124 MILFOED MALVOIS1N. 

studies, but in everything else behind the rest of 
mankind : well-intentioned according to their views, 
but not fit to be compared for a moment with the 
rising race of clergy, and himself in particular. 
Not that Mr. Macfuss exactly said all this to him- 
self; he rather dwelt, as it were on the premises, 
than expressed any conclusion : that was a whispered 
secret between himself and his self-love. 

The fact is that Mr. Macfuss had lived too long 
with his grandmother to be fit to live with anybody 
else. Being possessed of fair natural talents, a por- 
tion of Scotch shrewdness, and having plenty to say 
for himself, the good lady firmly believed that Fashie 
was destined to become a sort of second edition of 
the admirable Crichton ; and of this she persuaded 
her grandson so thoroughly, that not all the ridicule 
he had met with in school and college could entirely 
dispel his opinions of his own consequence : it saved 
him, indeed, from becoming pre-eminently absurd, 
because he found his level ; but vanity was still his 
all-absorbing passion, and he was never happy ex- 
cept as the person of first consequence. 

Now this love of putting himself forward, and of 



THE CHURCHMEN. 125 

being " a Triton among the minnows," kept him in 
a continual state of excitement : there was no repose 
in his character ; he never could be quiet ; he was 
always in a fidget to be doing something, or saying 
something to attract notice. When, therefore, Mr. 
Macfuss found himself let loose upon a parish with 
nobody to control him, it may readily be imagined 
that his activity became quite appalling. 

We should do him great injustice if we withheld 
from him the praise of a sincere desire to do right, 
to further the welfare of his flock by all the means 
hi his power, and a hearty anxiety to win the affec- 
tions of his people. But then it was for his own 
sake, rather than for the Church's, that he wished to 
be accounted zealous and indefatigable ; and so the 
consequence was, that while trying to please every- 
body he succeeded in pleasing nobody. For instance, 
having observed elsewhere the unpopularity which a 
strong assertion of opinions on the part of the clergy- 
man, had produced among his parishioners of a dif- 
ferent way of thinking, Mr. Macfuss on his arrival 
at Milford diligently proclaimed that he was of no 
party. And herein he would have been quite right 



126 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

(had such been the state of the case), for a good 
man has not, and never can have, any party but the 
Church. But Mr. Macfuss had a party, and that, 
not the Church, but himself: and when he said he 
had no party, the truth was -he had no principles. 
What he preached one Sunday, was inconsistent with 
what he preached the next ; his views might be sup- 
posed to have arisen from the last book he consulted. 
Now he was high-Church, now he was low-Church, 
and now he was utterly indefinite and unsatisfactory. 
Upon the absurd notion of working out a system of 
divinity for himself, and in the self-confidence and 
vanity of being able to do so, he had never studied 
theology as a science, nor church-doctrines as a sys- 
tem forming one beautiful and harmonious whole ; 
the result was, that his opinions seemed to come out 
by chance and at random, and thus in a short time 
he taught his flock to despise him. So, likewise, in 
the regulation of his parish the same error was 
committed : instead of wisely weighing his measures 
beforehand, going calmly and steadily forward, and 
never losing ground by attempting changes which he 
was not strong enough to carry through, he con- 



THE CHURCHMEN. 127 

trived to unsettle everything, and to settle nothing. 
Schools, clubs, lending-library, all were thrown into 
confusion with his improved rules and regulations. 
Nothing had been done well before he came into the 
parish, and nothing henceforth was to be done but 
he must be the doer of it ; and so he fretted, and 
fidgetted, and worried his parishioners, till they grew 
impatient, and angry, and sick of him, and he had 
no more influence over them than if he had been a 
child of three years old. 

We have dwelt at considerable length on the foi- 
bles (to use no stronger word) of Mr. Macfuss's cha- 
racter, because we fear that that character is not an 
uncommon one, and because there is much in the 
spirit of the times to foster it. And it is so desirable 
for us all 

" To see ourselves as others see us," 

that no great harm will be done if any one of Mr. 
Macfuss's youth and inexperience, into whose hands 
these pages may fall, should set himself to examine 
very seriously how far he is in danger of falling into 
like errors. 

To return, however, to our tale. By the time that 



128 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

the Curate reached Milford Grange the first effer- 
vescence of Sir Peter's wrath had subsided, and he 
was beginning to suspect that it was not Mr. Mac- 
fuss's fault that the clerk's sons had broken his pew. 
Of course, therefore, he felt rather foolish, and did 
not know quite what to say, when the zealous pastor 
with very little breath, and very great agitation, 
expressed his hope that "the serious business" to 
which Sir Peter had alluded, was not one that would 
permanently affect the happiness of himself and Lady 
Pinfold. 

The only thing the Baronet could do was to fan 
up the embers of his anger, and make a heavy com- 
plaint against the ill -manners of the Milford school- 
children, and state the recent enormity which had 
been committed against himself. 

Mr. Macfuss was a very indifferent listener, and 
Sir Peter was rather verbose, but the Curate con- 
trolled himself till he had heard the full amount of 
the charge, (which, to say the truth, filled him with 
great glee, inasmuch it afforded him the opportunity 
of commencing fresh reforms,) and then he burst 
forth in a volume of condolence and apology. " But, 



THE CHUECHMEN. 129 

indeed, Sir," continued he, " it is no more than I 
expected. Between ourselves, everything in this 
parish has been so sadly mismanaged. My prede- 
cessor, worthy, hospitable, kind-hearted man as he 
was, was not adapted, by taste or constitution, to 
enter into those minute details of a parish, on a care- 
ful observance of which (as you and I well know, 
Sir Peter) everything depends. I am beyond mea- 
sure vexed and annoyed, and will commence to- 
morrow morning to put the schools on a different 
footing, and introduce the new system." 

"Eh?" cried the Baronet, rather puzzled, "I 
never heard that there was any fault to be found 
with the schools ; Drudgeit is a good man I believe, 
and makes the children respectful ; all I complain of 
is the mischief the young monkeys do out of school- 
hours. I suppose these two lads that have broken 
down my pew, have got pretty well bruised ; but 
otherwise I should have begged you to have had 
them well whipped." 

"Whipped, Sir Peter?" ejaculated the Curate 
with a groan. 

K 



130 MILFORD MALVOI8IN. 

" Yes, whipped, Mr. Macfuss," replied the Ba- 
ronet with a chuckle. 

" Oh Sir, we never whip children under the new 
system ; reason and moral consequences supply the 
place of the rod now-a-days. 

" Fiddle fad die ! man !" exclaimed Sir Peter 
testily, "don't tell me. Will moral consequences 
prevent boys from bird's nesting, or stealing my ap- 
ples, or pelting the ducks ?" 

" Indeed I hope so," said Mr. Macfuss : " nay, 
when once our system comes into fair play, I have 
not a doubt of it; you may depend upon it that 
whipping is a fundamental error." 

Now this was one of Mr. Macfuss's hobbies, so off 
he set at full score, overwhelming the Baronet with 
a torrent of words, fluttering and spluttering like a 
frightened hen, but producing no more effect than if 
he had bayed at the moon. A person of common 
judgment and taste would have seen in a moment 
that it was better to drop the discussion, whether 
right or wrong : but not so Mr. Macfuss, he was in 
love with the sound of his own voice, and was en- 
tirely satisfied that he was eloquent, when he was 
only profoundly tiresome. 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 131 

However, Sir Peter had nothing to complain of, 
being fairly caught in his own trap. If he had not 
sent for the Curate, he would have been saved an 
hour's dissertation upon whipping. As it was, the 
Baronet began, at the end of that period, to feel as if 
a heavy corporal punishment had been inflicted upon 
himself: and, therefore, when Mr. Macfuss was out 
of breath, Sir Peter forbore to revive the discussion 
about the pew, and the conference was brought to a 
close; the Curate returning home with his head 
full of visions of scholastic reform, and the Baronet 
wending his way to his Lady's boudoir, for the pur- 
pose of venting his spleen against our friend Fashie, 
whom he described as a man that without the slight- 
est difficulty could talk off the hind leg of a horse. 

Mr. Macfuss being thus disposed of, Sir Peter 
proceeded to consult his Lady's taste with respect 
to the Pew, and we are happy to have it in our power 
to record, that both husband and wife being satisfied 
that their Pew was a very handsome object, and 
that it behoved them that it should assimilate with 
their comforts at home, they agreed to have it im- 
mediately repaired, and lined throughout with crim- 
K9 



132 MILFOED MALVOISI.V 

son cloth, with cushions and hassocks en-suite ; that 
the back should be well padded and stuffed ; that it 
should be warmed with hot water ; and that a series 
of brass rods and curtains should supply the place of 
the broken canopy ; that, in short, it should want 
nothing which comfort and privacy could add to re- 
pose. 

There was a question also whether they should 
not present the church with a new Altar-cloth, but 
that was referred to future consideration. 




CHAPTER VI. 

Qtf)t EntruBers. 

What walls can guard me, or what shades can hide? 
They pierce my thickets, through my grot they glide. 
By land, by water, they renew the charge, 
They stop the chariot, and they board the barge. 
No place is sacred, not the Church is free, 
Ev'n Sunday shines no Sabbath-day for me. 

Pope. 

WHEN Sir Peter Pinfold (preparatory to his taking 
his ease therein) had repaired and refurbished his 
Pew, and thus deprived it " of a very ancient and 
fish-like smell," as Trinculo hath it, he proceeded 
to adorn his mansion and pleasure-grounds ; thereby 
affording a notable contrast to wealthy Squires in 
general, whose habit now-a-days is, to proceed in an 
inverse order, deferring their ecclesiastical restora- 
tions till they have made themselves thoroughly com- 



134 M1LFOKD MALVOISIN. 

fortable at home, and who rarely present their muni- 
ficent bucket of white-wash to the Sacred edifice, till 
Blore has converted into "pure Elizabethan" the 
pure ugly structure erected by their grandfather, and 
till Messrs. Gillow have filled its saloons with a load of 
furniture of which the same venerable person would 
have been unable to guess the use or application. And 
hence, it not rarely happens, that those promised im- 
provements at the church, which were reserved to 
be a bonne bouche at last, are postponed sine die, in 
consequence of the unexpected discovery that the 
beautified mansion has become about five times too 
big for the estate, and that upholsterers can put 
executions into a house as well as furniture. 

But Sir Peter was no such unthrifty Squire : his 
wishes were far more moderate than his means ; and 
though he both planted and builded it was to no 
greater extent than the condition of his estate re- 
quired. And to say truth, Milford Grange was a 
spot worthy of all the care and pains that could be 
bestowed upon it. Backed by noble woods, it was 
situated in a recess on one side of an extensive 
valley, where it lay basking in the southern sun, 



THE CHUHCHMEN. 136 

with a wide expanse of turf in front of it, gradually 
shelving down to the rapid, sparkling river which 
wound its way through the valley. It seemed, and 
was the very abode of retired seclusion and peace. 
But let no man who desires to shut out the hubbub 
of mankind, and enjoy the quiet pleasures of a coun- 
try life, fix his habitation from henceforth in a val- 
ley : in the present state of things he may as well 
expect solitude at Charing Cross, or rural scenes in 
Cranbourne Alley. 

"My dear," said Lady Pinfold to her husband, 
as they were standing on the terrace one fine evening 
in July watching the herd of deer fording the river, 
" My dear, I can't help thinking that Tom Denison 
has misunderstood you ; you did not surely intend 
to have the plantation brought in a straight line along 
the valley ? 

" Why not, my love?" replied the Baronet, with- 
out taking his eyes off a lame horse which was limp- 
ing in another direction. 

" Because it will look like a hedge, Sir Peter; 
and a straight hedge running parallel with the river, 



136 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

and within fifty yards of it, will spoil the whole effect 
of all you did so well last year, my love," answered 
the lady in a soothing tone. 

" Nonsense !" rejoined her husband, still intently 
regarding the grey filly; "nonsense, my angel; peo- 
ple don't make plantations in July ; if Tom Denison 
is staking out anything, it is the drain for the water- 
meadow." 

" I didn't know that drains were cut at this season, 
and I didn't know you were going to turn the Bull- 
acre field into a water-meadow." 

" No more I am," said Sir Peter. 

Well then, if you'll only condescend to look this 
way, you'll see that Denison intends to do so." 

The Baronet instead of doing as his Lady bade 
him, whistled and looked up at the sky. The first 
act was intended to shew his contempt of his wife's 
judgment, the second was a little gratuitous act of 
obstinacy. 

" Well, my dear," replied Lady Pinfold with a 
meekness and placidity which all good wives assume 
when they wish to be more than ordinarily provoking, 
" I am quite aware I dont understand these matters ; 



THE CHURCHMEN. 137 

I wish I did" (more meekly still); "for I should 
know the use of all those red flags." 

" Red flags !" cried the Baronet, wheeling round 
in double quick time, "what in the world are you 
talking about ? Why, bless your blind eyes ! don't 
you see that that man is no more Tom Deuison than 
he is your grandmother ? What could induce you to 
go on chattering about drains and all manner of folly, 
when there are a set of people trespassing on my es- 
tate ? Stars and garters ! Lady Pinfold, there's mis- 
chief brewing there, you may depend upon it !" 

And off set Sir Peter down the hill at full speed, 
without his hat, plunging into the fern, capering over 
the gorse, and more than once all but tumbling over 
a cow reposing among the bushes. Now as the 
Baronet was somewhat plethoric and short-winded, 
and as this rapid exercise took place on a sultry 
evening, just after he had finished a hearty dinner, 
it can hardly excite surprise when we say that when 
he had come sufficiently near the intruders to be 
within speaking-distance, and attempted to shout to 
them, he was so out of breath that he could not 
speak. And herein the enemy had a great advantage, 



138 MILFORD MALVOI8IN. 

for so soon as they saw him approaching them, they 
apparently anticipated his object, and made great 
shew of hurrying onward to get their work done 
(whatever it might be) before he reached them : still, 
a person who had more their wits about them than 
poor Sir Peter had, might have seen that the trespas- 
sers were, in point of fact, purposely allowing him to 
reach them. 

This Sir Peter did at length, and after sundry 
gaspings, and indistinct ejaculations, he inquired their 
names (for there were two of them) and business. 
He was thereupon informed, in the civillest manner, 
that he stood in the presence of Messrs. Smoke and 
Ochre, Deputy Assistant Engineers to the Company 
recently formed for the purpose of carrying into effect 
the " Grand Inland Railway," between Newton and 
Admaston ; that the line would be carried through 
the park in the direction staked out; and they coifrte- 
ously added that they would endeavour so to arrange 
matters, as that it should not be necessary to take 
down more than the left wing of his mansion. 

Nothing but a constitution of iron, it may be 
fairly presumed, prevented the proprietor of Milford 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 139 

Grange from dropping down in a fit of apoplexy, at 
such an announcement. Ill would it become us to 
sully our respectable pages by detailing the incoherent 
exclamations and imprecations of that angry man. 
Rage, fury, and vexation burst forth in an uncontrol- 
able torrent of abuse, which was concluded, of course, 
by the Baronet warning the intruders off his ground. 

" Oh, pray Sir, restrain yourself," exclaimed Mr. 
Ochre, an unwholesome-looking young man of bili- 
ous temperament, " you can't think how bad it is for 
your health to go on in such a way. Nothing so 
dangerous as excitement." 

"I intreat you, Sir Peter Pinfold," cried Mr. 
Smoke, a gentleman with dull grey eyes, and habili- 
ments to match, " I intreat you to be patient; we 
have all our losses and crosses, and if you only knew 
how distressing it is to my feelings to listen to such 
language, I am sure you would be mollified. Our 
duty is an unpleasant one, and we really have a right 
to expect some courtesy from those whose estates we 
are going to make fifty per cent better than they 
could ever have been otherwise." 

"Will you go, you impertinent scoundrels, or 



140 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

must I knock you down ?" roared the infuriate Ba- 
ron eL 

" Oh, Sir, we won't stay a moment ; not a mo- 
ment longer than to assure you . . . ." 

"Will you go?" cried Sir Peter, assuming the 
sort of attitude which a sheep does when it is going 
to butt. 

" Not a moment longer than . . . ." 

" Will you go, or will you not ?" vociferated the 
Squire. 

"Yes, Sir Peter," answered both the gentlemen 
at once ; and Mr. Smoke immediately added, " there 
is no reason why we should intrude upon you lon- 
ger ; the dew is falling, and perhaps you will take 
cold without your hat ; we would not have detained 
you so long, but our coadjutors on the hill yonder, 
Messrs. Boyle and Bust, had not quite finished their 
survey, and it would have been inconvenient for 
them to have been interrupted. Good evening, Sir 
Peter, good evening. We hope you wo'nt get wet 
in your feet; and are infinitely obliged for your 
courtesy; good evening, Sir Peter, good evening." 

And the two gentlemen set off in double quick 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 141 

time, to join their (hitherto unobserved) companions; 
and as the Baronet returned to the house indignant 
and crest-fallen, his ears were saluted with shouts of 
laughter from the four worthies, who were rejoicing 
over the successful issue of their operations. 

The following morning, immediately after Sir 
Peter had finished his breakfast, and before the man 
of business had arrived, whom he had sent for ex- 
press the preceding evening, on his return home, a 
hack-chaise drove up to the door, and a card was 
sent in, on which appeared the name of Mr. Moloch, 
Surveyor General to the Grand Inland Railway. 
For a long time Sir Peter protested that no earthly 
consideration should induce him to see his visitor ; 
but upon Lady Pinfold's urgent entreaty he ulti- 
mately consented; and thereupon Mr. Moloch, a 
hard-featured, shrewd, disagreeable - looking man 
entered, and behind him followed a lawyer, astute 
and dirty, with a blue bag and a roll of maps under 
his arm. 

Sir Peter stood in the middle of the room, with 
his mouth very much pursed up, and resolved not to 
fly into a passion if he could help it. 



142 MILFOKD MALVOI8IN. 

"My name is Moloch, Sir," said the visitor, 
bowing, " and I am the chief surveyor and engineer 
to the railroad which we hope to carry through this 
part of the country." 

Sir Peter grunted, and took a turn round the 
room ; and then fixing his eyes on the lawyer said, 
" And pray, Sir, who are you ?'' 

" I," answered the gentleman with the bag, " am 
representative of Messrs. Wiles, Frowze, Luker, and 
Swott, Solicitors to the Company." 

" Sir," replied Sir Peter, " I can readily believe 
it ; you bear it in your face ; I can see the whole 
firm in your countenance. And now Messrs. Mo- 
loch, Wiles, Frowze, Luker, and Swott, I conclude 
your object in coming here is to apologize for the 
insufferable insolence of some of your underlings in 
presuming to enter my park." 

" I am very sorry, Sir, if any of my young men 
should have mis-conducted themselves, Sir Peter," 
replied the Engineer, " but our duty to the public 
obliges us sometimes to appear indifferent to private 
interests ; and I am come here to-day in the hope that 
you may be induced to enter into our views, or at 



THE CHUKCHMEN. 143 

any rate, that some arrangement may be made which 
will be mutually satisfactory to both parties." 

" But I don't want to have anything to do with 
you or your railroad. I don't choose to have you on 
my property, and I won't sell you a square inch of 
land." 

" That, Sir," rejoined Mr. Moloch, " is a ques- 
tion which Parliament must settle. If, looking at all 
the circumstances of the case, observing the growing 
population of the two influential towns which we 
wish to connect, and the prodigious demand for their 
respective manufactures, (to wit, dolls-eyes and 
mouse-traps) if, I say, Parliament, knowing and see- 
ing this, is blind to the best interests of the country, 
and rejects our bill, of course, Sir Peter, we cannot 
interfere with you, but if, as we have every reason 
to anticipate, the measure will be carried by an over- 
whelming majority, the road will certainly be carried 
along the proposed line, and a jury will award a pro- 
per compensation to the occupiers." 

" But do you really mean to tell me," asked the 
alarmed Baronet, " that you will come through my 
property whether I will or no, and throw up a hor- 



144 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

rible embankment between this house and the river, 
and that we are to hear nothing all day long but 
your clattering trains, steaming, puffing, and stink- 
ing ? Why the place will not be habitable ! Who 
could bear to have their family seat so mutilated 
and destroyed ? Look out of that window, Sir, and 
putting yourself in my position, say what would be 
your feeling if you were threatened with such an 
infliction ?" 

" Sir," answered the man of steam and iron, " I 
should be grateful for the offer, and conceive that 
the embankment you speak of, would be a pleasing 
addition to the prospect." 

" What a beast you must be," muttered Sir Peter 
between his teeth. 

" Perhaps, Sir Peter, you will not object to look- 
ing at the plan of the proposed line," said Mr. Wiles 
interposing, and proceeding to unroll the lengthy 
scroll which he had hitherto kept under his arm. 
" This, Sir Peter, is the line which I believe I may 
say has been finally decided on ; some little varia- 
tions have been suggested by some of the engineers ; 
(Mr. Smoke, for instance, recommends that the rails 



THB CHUKCHMEN. 145 

should be carried through the apartment in which 
we are sitting) but I think the line here drawn is ad- 
mitted to be the best, and as such will be adopted. 
We shall enter your estate at a place which I think 
is called Broad-meadows." 

"You are very kind/' answered the Baronet 
bitterly, " it is the best land in my whole property." 

" We then keep very nearly to the course of the 
river till we come to your home farm, which I am 
afraid must be removed. Here you see, at this 
point, ' Rogues-gap,' we shall enter the bottom 
of the park, and taking the line marked out by 
Messrs. Boyle and Bust (by the way, Sir Peter, 
you really must allow me to say that it was very un- 
courteous of you to pull up ah 1 their stakes) taking 
the line marked in red on the map, we shall pass one 
wing of this mansion, but I am disposed to think 
without interfering with it, and continuing our course 
north by east, shall cross the village, and take off a 
portion of the churchyard." 

" Well really, gentlemen," said Sir Peter, very 
civilly, but looking very white, " this last does seem 
an injudicious arrangement for your own sakes ?" 

L 



146 MILFOBD MALV01SIN. 

" Indeed !" replied the lawyer, " why so ?" 

" I should have thought that considering the 
number of people whom your trains are likely to 
kill, per annum, it would he rather expedient to in- 
crease than diminish the size of the churchyards 
which fall in your line." 

" Oh, Sir, you are not aware how extremely 
liberal the Company have been in their arrange- 
ments, or what great consideration they have shown 
the public ; they have devised a system which will 
combine the most rapid locomotion, with the ten- 
derest regard to the feelings of surviving relations ; 
there are to be stretchers and a dead-hcuse pro- 
vided at every mile ; a surgeon is to be in constant 
attendance at every station ; there is to be a hos- 
pital at each terminus, and an arrangement has been 
entered into with the directors of the Cemetery-com- 
panies at Newton and Admaston, for burying all 
accidents at half-price." 

Sir Peter clasped his hands, and expressed his 
earnest wish that he had been bred an undertaker. 

" If you will now be kind enough to look this way, 
Sir Peter, you will see that we enter your property 



THE CHURCHMEN. 147 

again on the other side of the churchyard, and I be- 
lieve continue in it till we come to Deadman's Cor- 
ner; and there we propose to erect a first class sta- 
tion, together with engine houses, and other struc- 
tures which will employ many hands, and bring a 
great influx of population to Milford Malvoisin. We 
shall cut through about three hundred and fifty 
acres of your estate, and are quite ready to give 
you a just price for the accommodation ; and as we 
shall materially benefit your property, we hope you 
will append your signature to the list of those very 
respectable gentlemen who are favourable to the 
measure." 

" I will see you hanged first ! yes, hanged gen- 
tlemen, and drawn by your own trains, and quar- 
tered by your own engines. What ! raze the dairy 
farm ! destroy my park ! pull my house about my 
ears ! And this in a free country ! But that my 
doing so would be a convenience to you, I would 
sell the estate to-morrow, and go live in Turkey. 
Do you really and seriously intend to commit this 
outrage upon me ?" 

" No, Sir Peter," answered a voice from behind, 
L3 



148 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

t 

" they have not the most distant intention of doing 
anything of the kind." 

" Hey ? my good friend, Thurlow, where did you 
spring from?" exclaimed the Baronet with a start of 
pleasure, for Mr. Thurlow was the solicitor for whom 
he had sent express, "Did you drop from the 
clouds ? Or come down the chimney ?" 

"Neither, Sir Peter, I came in through that 
door which I found open ; I have been here these 
five minutes, but you were all so busy that you did 
not observe me." 

Mr. Moloch looked as if all his steam had 
escaped, and Mr. Wiles himself seemed utterly 
dumb-founded. 

"You have heard then what these gentlemen 
propose ?" 

" Yes, Sir Peter, and will undertake to say that 
they have no notion of coming through your farm, 
or your park, or your house. This is not the first 
time I have been employed in these sort of matters, 
nor the first occasion on which I have met Messrs. 
Moloch and Wiles. Gathering from your hasty note 
last night, that some such proposal would be made 



THE CHURCHMEN. 149 

to you, I was on the ground early this morning, and 
though I am no engineer, I will undertake to say 
that the line just laid before you, is the very last 
these gentlemen would be inclined to adopt, for this 
simple reason, that it would force them to make a 
tunnel through Crushingham Hill. I believe Mr. 
Moloch would not risk his well-established reputa- 
tion by recommending such an expensive proceed- 
ing, when their object would be better gamed by 
going through your lands at Pancake Flat." 

Mr. Moloch stammered out that certainly other 
lines had been contemplated, or suggested ; indeed 
some were still under consideration. 

" But my friend Mr. Wiles," continued the Soli- 
citor, " thought it would be no bad plan to turn his 
underlings into the park, and then to come up here 
and talk about an imaginary line of railway which 
would be the destruction of my client's estate, in the 
hope that when he subsequently made his real pro- 
position to carry the road at such a distance from us 
as Pancake Flat, Sir Peter would snap'at the propo- 
sal, and yield the point there, in order to escape an 
intolerable evil here. Ah, gentlemen, this is a very 



150 MILFORD MALVOI8IN. 

sly manoeuvre of your's," continued Mr. Thurlow, 
" but you have made it so common that nobody is 
taken in by it, except only a few, who, like my friend 
Sir Peter, think all the world as honest as them- 
selves." 

"Keally, Sir," answered Wiles, addressing his 
brother lawyer, and looking all the while like a de- 
tected pickpocket, " I am quite at a loss what to 
make of such language, and doubtful what course I 
ought to pursue, but . . . ." 

" I tell you what, Sir, if you have any doubts on 
that score," said Sir Peter sternly, " I will settle 
them at once. The best thing you can do is to leave 
my house this moment, Sir ; yes, Sir, this very mo- 
ment, or you will be summarily ejected, Sir," con- 
tinued the Baronet, walking up to the discomfited 
pettifogger, and putting himself into that butting 
position which we have already described, and which 
had such a powerful effect upon Mr. Wiles, that he 
immediately sprang out of a window which chanced 
to be open, and which had ^all the appearance from 
within, of being on a level with the flower garden, 
but which was, in fact, so many feet above it, that 



THE CHURCHMEN. 



151 



the Solicitor to the Grand Inland Kailway might 
have been seriously hurt, if he had not lighted on a 
thickset bed of double flowering gorse, which while 
it broke his fall, gave him nevertheless such a prickly 
reception, that for a fortnight after he felt as if he 
had been used for a pincushion. 





CHAPTER VII. 

W)t Bogs in tf>e JRJlanger. 

" Let dogs delight to bark and bite, 


Let bears and lions growl and fight, 

For 'tis their nature too. 
But, children, you should never let 

Your angry passions rise ; 
Your little hands were never made 

To tear each other's eyes." 

Watti. 

IT turned out just as Mr. Thurlow had predicted. 
There was blustering and wrangling for the lawyers, 
and murmurs and heavy bills for the clients on both 
sides; and then some hundreds of navigators (as 
they call themselves) were turned loose upon Pan- 
cake Flat, to form a line of rail -road at a very com- 
fortable distance from Milford Grange, and Sir Peter 
had the satisfaction of feeling that he was not likely 
to have any more visits from Messrs. Smoke, Ochre, 



THE CHURCHMEN. 153 

Boyle, or Bust. Fortunately for the inhabitants of 
Milford, the country round them was so level that 
the engineers had no difficulties to encounter; there 
were neither mounds to be raised, nor deep cuttings, 
nor tunnels to be excavated, and consequently, their 
pretty village was not subjected for any great length 
of time to the plunder, and demoralization, which is 
the concomitant of such an irruption of vagabonds as 
a railroad in progress brings with it. Wherever you 
walked, you met huge brawny men, always very 
saucy, and generally very drunk, who asked for 
everything they wanted, and got whatever they asked 
for, because nobody dared refuse them. Sir Peter 
had all his game destroyed, and his stews emptied, 
but this was only to be expected, and was a matter 
of no great consequence, for he could afford the loss. 
It was different, however, with those in a class be- 
neath him, and it was really grievous to see the Poor 
robbed of their poultry, or their potatoes, and afraid 
to speak about it, lest worse should befall them. But 
in six months the part of the line nearest to Milford 
was finished, and so the more crying nuisance was 
got rid of. 



154 MILFOKD MALVOI6IN. 

There was, however, one circumstance which, 
had it been properly attended to at the time, and 
called forth corresponding exertion on the part of the 
parishioners, might perhaps have saved them from a 
good deal of the annoyance to which they were ex- 
posed. Most of the depredations took place on a 
Sunday ; now, had any encouragement been given, or 
any accommodation afforded, to such of the railway- 
labourers as chose to attend church, much evil might 
have been prevented, and much good, probably, might 
have been done. If, as was indeed the case, Milford 
Church was too small, and too much blocked up 
with pews to afford room for any great increase of 
the congregation, an additional service might, at any 
rate, have been provided, and opportunity, at least, 
given to those who felt anxious to attend the ordi- 
nances of religion. But the proper moment was not 
seized, and afterwards it was too late. For some 
Sundays after the bulk of the labourers came into 
the neighbourhood, a dozen or two of them dressed 
hi their best clothes, their necks adorned with showy 
handkerchiefs, and their waistcoats covered with a 
profusion of gilt buttons, were to be seen sauntering 



THE CHURCHMEN. 155 

down the Church-path, as the chimes were ringing, 
but when they found that there was no room for 
them, and nobody was disposed to make room for 
them, their numbers rapidly decreased, and at length 
not above one or two continued to attend. 

And nobody missed them, because nobody had 
thought about them except the poor people into 
whose seats they had intruded, and they of course 
were glad to get rid of them. But though the con- 
gregation at Milford had treated these poor men 
according to the fashion of the Nineteenth Century, 
leaving them, that is, because they were poor, and 
ignorant, and ill-conditioned, to worship God how or 
where they could, or not to worship Him at all ; and 
instead of endeavouring to keep them within the 
pale of the Church, all but thrusting them from it ; 
and allowing them to join the ranks of dissent, or 
socialism, or infidelity, because forsooth the rich 
cannot do without roomy pews ; although these poor 
men were so treated, and submitted to the privation 
without remonstrance, the parishioners of Milford 
were about to receive an addition to their population, 
by the arrival of a class of persons who were by no 
means disposed to take matters so quietly, and who 



156 MILFOED MALVOI8IN. 

were destined to elicit some remarkable examples of 
the practical working of the Pew-system. 

It will be remembered that Mr. Moloch announced 
to Sir Peter Pinfold that it was intended to have a 
first-class station within the parish of Milford, and 
that there was to be a depot for building the carriages 
and the preparation of divers other things connected 
with railway traffic. In due time all this came to 
pass ; the station house was erected, with its smart 
stuccoed hotel, and in the rear, long ranges of build- 
ings, forges, and furnaces, and I know not what be- 
side, were to be seen, betokening the extensive manu- 
factory which was about to be carried on. And no 
sooner were these completed, than ten or a dozen 
staring white houses, "in the villa style," as the 
newspapers say, were commenced as residences for 
engineers and other officers. So that by the end of 
a year a little town had grown up, on a spot where, 
in times past, there had been nothing but a turnpike- 
gate. 

Now, of course, nothing can be clearer, than that 
large body of people for its own immediate benefit, 
a great public company, which brings together a 
should take care to provide for the spiritual wants 



THE CHUHCHMEX. 157 

of those whom it has collected. It is the very least 
that can be expected of those who attract artificers 
and mechanics to any given spot, that they erect 
churches and schools for the accommodation of 
such persons and their families. But the directors of 
our railway had no such feelings with respect to their 
Christian responsibilities ; their object was to get ten 
per cent on the capital they had expended, and so as 
they obtained that, it was matter of utter indifference 
to them whether their servants were Christians or 
heathens. 

Meanwhile, if about half of the area of Milford 
church had not been rendered useless by the great 
square Pews which covered it, the increase of popu- 
lation created by the railroad might have been tem- 
porarily accommodated with seats, without any great 
inconvenience, and no time should have been lost in 
erecting a north aisle, to correspond with one already 
existing on the south side. This would have given 
the needful space, and, at the same time, rather im- 
proved than injured the general appearance of the 
building. But neither Mr. Macfuss nor his parish- 
ioners were prepared to act as the emergencies of 



158 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

the case required. The former talked and fretted 
about the impossibility of finding sittings for the 
strangers, and set up two additional benches in the 
nave ; and (Sir Peter Pinfold and his family being 
now absent for the London season) desired the clerk 
to shew the new members of the congregation into 
some of the numerous seats allotted to the servants 
at Milford Grange. The latter did not feel them- 
selves called upon to make the leaet exertions in be- 
half of their neighbours at the station : they had 
their own pews, and that was enough for them. 

By and by, however, Sir Peter and his family 
returned home, and then his domestics resumed their 
usual position. What was to be done ? Mr. Mac- 
fuss went from pew-holder to pew-holder, to beg 
permission to introduce, one or more of the unlucky 
strangers (according as there happened to be room) 
into their several pews. He might as well have 
asked them to give him a thousand pounds. By 
some he was answered with civility, by some with 
rudeness ; some were sorry that they could not un- 
der existing circumstances meet his wishes, others 
really wondered how he could bring himself to ask 



THE CHURCHMEN. 159 

such a thing; but in every case the refusal was 
prompt and peremptory : argument and entreaty 
were in vain, and while a few declined for the plea- 
sure it afforded them to say "no" to a personal 
request from the Clergyman, the majority seemed to 
make it a matter of principle, and stood upon the 
danger of the precedent, and their unalterable con- 
viction that as every man's house is his castle, so is 
his Pew the strong box of his religion, and to be 
guarded accordingly. 

Mr. Macfuss returned home weary and disconso- 
late, and utterly at a loss what step to take next : in 
fact, there seemed nothing for him to do but to inti- 
mate to the new comers that there was no longer 
any room for them in Milford Church. This he 
did, and accordingly some of the parties addressed 
found their way to other churches in the neighbour- 
hood on the following Sunday ; but the remainder, 
(probably supposing that the members of a Chris- 
tian congregation would not so far forget the princi- 
ples of Christian fellowship, as absolutely to exclude 
them from the vacant places in their pews) ventured 
upon the dangerous experiment of attending Divine 



160 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

service at Milford Malvoisin. The consequence was 
just what might have been anticipated ; when Mr. 
Macfuss entered the reading-desk, there stood a 
crowd of respectably dressed people at the bottom 
of the aisle, looking foolishly at one another, and 
wistfully at the pews, for the benches were already 
full. Now and then some male friend of the ladies 
who were seeking seats, approached one of the half 
empty boxes, with the purpose of humbly requesting 
admission, upon which the occupants immediately 
spread themselves out so ingeniously, that it became 
difficult to assert that there was any spare room, or 
else they were one and all seized with such a fit of 
attention, and buried their noses so deeply in their 
Prayer-books that nothing could tempt them to look 
up: and this was done so demurely and inoffen- 
sively, that nobody would have suspected a precon- 
certed plot on the part of the pew-holders, if Miss 
Perky, a young lady, who, with her brother, were the 
sole occupants of a pew which would have held half- 
a-dozen more persons, had not on the approach of 
some strangers, called out in a voice which was 
heard all over the church, while every feature in her 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 161 

little, white, spiteful face was quivering with agita- 
tion, " Oh, 'Arry, 'Arry, 'old the 'andle," thus in- 
timating that she had cast off her humanity as well 
as her aspirates, and that those who sought admis- 
sion to farmer Perky's pew were to be kept out hy 
main force. 

Fortunately, however, as it turned out, the 
young lady's exclamation was heard further than she 
intended, and caused Sir Peter Pinfold to look up. 
The worthy Baronet was, of course, quite unconsci- 
ous of the real state of things, but so soon as he 
perceived a body of strangers unaccommodated with 
seats of any kind, he immediately opened his pew 
door, and beckoned them in. At the same time, 
Mr. Macfuss observing a pew near the reading-desk 
empty, and knowing that it was hardly ever other- 
wise, desired the clerk to shew the remainder of 
those who were standing about the aisles into it, and 
so the difficulty was got over for that occasion. 

Great, however, was the indignation expressed, 
so soon as Church was over, at the Curate's unwar- 
rantable presumption; dire his offence in the eyes 
of the pew-holders, and deep their sympathy with 



162 MILFORD MALVOIS1N. 

Mrs. Tuff, to whose farm the pew in question was 
appropriated : and more than one of the congrega- 
tion instead of attending evening service walked up 
to the Vinegar Hill farm, just to condole with the 
widow, abuse Mr. Macfuss, eat a piece of sweet- 
cake, drink a glass of currant wine, and stir her up, 
(who, sooth to say, needed little stirring) to a man- 
ful maintenance of her rights : " the pew was her's," 
they reminded her, " had been her father's before 
her ; and so long as she paid her rates, whose busi- 
ness was it but her own, whether she made use of 
the pew or not ? they had no notion of such imper- 
tinent intrusions : if the railroad people wanted pews 
they had better build them, or get seats in other 
churches, and not come and incommode the inhabi- 
tants of Milford." 

The consequence of this was that the next morn- 
ing early, Mr. Macfuss had to digest the following 
note as well as his breakfast : 

" Mrs. TufFs compts. to Mr. Macfuss, and I 
am much surprised, Rev. Sir, that you should have 
allowed persons to be turned into my pew quite pro- 



THE CHUECHMEN. 163 

miscuous, more especially as Mr. M. had never 
asked Mrs. Tuffs permission. 

Mrs. T. takes leave to say that she considers the 
intrusion most unhandsome, and what by no means 
bespeaks the gentleman (for gentlemen behave as 
such) ; particularly as she understands that there is 
plenty of room in contagious parishes. I therefore 
give you notice that I shall proceed against all future 
offenders with the utmost rigour of the law, accord- 
ing as my attorney, Mr. Blackadder, shall advise, 
and am, Sir, in the common acceptation of the term, 
Your humble servant to command, 

MARY ANN TUFF." 
" Vinegar Hill Farm, 

Sunday Night." 

And Mrs. Tuff accordingly drove to the market- 
town in the course of the ensuing week, to consult 
attorney Blackadder: but finding from him that 
there would be some difficulty in suing the intruders 
for "a perturbation of seat" (that seat being con- 
stantly unoccupied) and that it was clearly unlawful 
to affix a lock to her pew door, Mrs. Tuff determined 
M 2 



164 M1LFORD MALVOISIN. 

to become a regular church-goer, and both to 
occupy her pew herself, and to keep every body else 
out of it. And the plan she devised to insure both 
these points was as follows. She resolved to be in 
her pew at the time service commenced on the fol- 
lowing Sunday, and to close the door effectually 
when she had entered it, by passing a gimlet or 
bradawl obliquely through the door, into the jamb. 
Accordingly, on Sunday morning she set off for 
church as soon as ever the bells began to ring, and 
might have reached her pew about five minutes be- 
fore the Clergyman left the vestry, but, when she had 
got half way from home it flashed across her that she 
had left her defensive weapon, the bradawl, behind 
her. In no very sweet temper (for nothing makes a 
person of Mrs. Tuff's disposition so cross as having 
nobody to blame but themselves) the lady deter- 
mined on retracing her steps, being satisfied that if 
she only made a little extra haste she should be in 
very good time. But whether she had over-rated the 
rapidity of her movements, or whether there was a 
variation in the clocks, or Mr. Macfuss had really 
commenced the service somewhat earlier than usual, 



THE CHtTECHMEN. 165 

is yet uncertain ; but so it was, that when she entered 
the church the Curate was beginning the second 
lesson. Up the aisle she stalked, looking like a fast- 
ing ogress, till she came to her own pew, and what 
she looked like then, it is hard to say, for the pew 
was full, full, in spite of her admonitory epistle to 
Mr. Macfuss, full, in spite of her fixed resolve to 
keep it empty ! Whether the intruders read in her 
face that she was the legitimate owner of the sitting, 
or whether they were frightened by the concentrated 
venom which was sweltering in her countenance, 
they seemed to feel that room must be made for her 
somehow, and accordingly each pressed nearer to 
his neighbour, till a very ample space was left for 
Mrs. Tuff, who certainly lost no time in occupying 
it, for down she flounced upon the seat with a force 
that made it creak again. But the act was one which 
abundantly verified the proverb of "most haste, 
worst speed :" had Mrs. Tuff been less precipitate, 
she might have remembered that at the bottom of 
her capacious pocket there lurked a bradawl, and 
would have taken care not to sit upon it. As it 
was, however, if she sat down quick, she bounded 



166 MILFOKD MALVOISIN. 

up again with double 'celerity, and in a condition 
which put an effectual stop to her occupying her 
pew for many weeks after : for she was an inflam- 
matory subject, and the bradawl was a long one. 

But Mrs. Tuff was not the only person who re- 
turned home annoyed and discontented, on the occa- 
sion alluded to. 

It happened that at another corner of the church 
there was a pew calculated to hold eight persons, and 
that four of the sittings were claimed by Mr. Crab- 
stock the grazier, and the remainder by Mr. Nettle- 
ship of the mill. Now as each of these gentlemen 
had secretly resolved in his own mind to obtain, 
sooner or later, exclusive possession of the entire pew, 
as both of them were jealous of each other upon 
other grounds, and neither were particularly concilia- 
ting in their manners, or refined in their modes of 
expressing themselves, it may easily be conceived 
that when the whole eight seats were occupied there 
was a good deal of hostility packed in a small com- 
pass. Had the same number of individuals been 
placed side by side on one of the benches, their vici- 
nity to one another would have bred no angry 



THE CHURCHMEN. 167 

thoughts. An open sitting would have been felt to 
be common ground, and ill-will (on that subject, at 
least,) would have evaporated ; in a pew there was 
something to keep it warm, and so the venom was 
concentrated. 

Such being the state of feeling between these two 
neighbours, it unluckily fell out that the Crabstock 
family leaving home for a week, on the occasion of 
Mr. Crabstock junior's marriage, Mrs. Crabstock the 
mother, lent the four sittings on the Sunday they 
were absent, to one of the railroad engineers, who ac- 
cordingly appeared in Milford Church, the week 
before that of which we are speaking, with his wife 
and three little girls, in all, therefore, five persons. 
No act could have been done more innocently, or 
with less intention of giving offence, and in point of 
fact, the three children did not occupy more room 
than two grown persons would have done, but Mr. 
Nettleship had no notion of seeing the matter in this 
point of view : he was satisfied that the Crabstocks 
had lent their seats to strangers for the purpose of 
annoying him and his family, and that the introduc- 
tion of five persons instead of four, was an attempt to 
dispossess him of a portion of his rights. 



168 MILFORD MALVOISLN. 

So Mr. Nettleship, after meditating revenge all 
church-time, returned home, declaring that he would 
" be even with Crabstock, and that since the Crab- 
stocks introduced strangers into the pew without 
having the courtesy to ask his permission, he would 
pay them back in their own com, aye, and with 
interest too." And he was as good as his word, for 
when (on the Sunday of Mrs. Tuff's mishap) the 
bridegroom and his bride, together with the parents 
of the former, proceeded to their pew, decked out in 
all the smart clothing which the occasion seemed to 
require, they found in place of the Nettleships^/ire 
young chimney-sweepers, who, on being asked their 
business, declared that "Muster Nettleship would 
gi'e 'em a shilling a piece to sit there all church-time :'' 
and as of course it would not have answered for 
gentlemen, in white trowsers and lemon-coloured 
gloves, to attempt to eject them, the Crabstocks 
yielded the point, and found sittings with some of 
their neighbours. 

As soon as service was over they repaired to the 
vestry, swelling with indignation, for the purpose of 
laying their grievances before Mr. Macfuss. But 
what could the Curate do ? Shocked and disgusted 



THE CHURCHMEN. 169 

of course he was to the greatest degree at the motive 
which must have influenced theNettleship faction, and 
he promised to lose no time in remonstrating with 
them, but remedy he could see none. If people will 
have Pews they must take the consequences ; if they 
will squeeze and huddle together at church in a way 
they would be ashamed of doing at home, they have 
no cause of complaint, if now and then their pews, 
like poverty, bring them " strange bed-fellows." If 
a man has a pew allotted him, he has a right to lend it 
to his friends, and if his friends happen to carry soot- 
bags, his immediate neighbours must bear it as well 
as they can ; there is no help for them. 

And for ourselves we confess we are heartily glad 
there is not : the oftener pride becomes its own 
punishment the better. 

From what has been said in a former chapter, the 
reader will have perceived that the Curate of Milford 
had little or no influence with his parishioners. And 
this arose, not from vice or immorality on his part, 
for indeed his moral conduct was exemplary, but 
from indiscretion and want of judgment ; he made 
himself too common, was always interfering about 



170 VIM OKI) MALVOISIN. 

little, indifferent matters, and continually going out 
of his way to give advice which was neither desired 
nor needed. Hence, it unfortunately happened, that 
when the necessity for his interference really arose, 
what he said had no weight with anybody, whereas, 
had he reserved himself for such occasions, he would 
have found that to the well-disposed part of his flock, 
the expression of his wishes would be law. 

But the probability is that a far more judicious 
person than Mr. Macfuss would have failed of making 
any impression on Mr. Nettleship, who was a very 
churlish, unamiable man. Mr. Macfuss, however, 
did not fail of his duty : he went that very evening 
to the miller, and remonstrated with him most ear- 
nestly, and told him with all gravity and plainness of 
how great a sin he had been guilty, what insult he 
had offered to God, and what a scandal he had caused 
to his fellow- worshippers, by shewing that he carried 
his angry passions into the presence of Him, Who will 
only forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those 
who trespass against us. 

Mr. Nettleship's reply was foul personal abuse, 
and a declaration that he would do what he pleased 



THE CHURCHMEN. 171 

with his own pew. So the poor Curate, after replying 
with much meekness, returned home with anxious 
thoughts how best he might allay the storm which he 
saw gathering on all sides, and not without some 
regrets that he had ever undertaken the Pastoral 
superintendence of the parish of Milford Malvoisin. 





CHAPTER VIII. 

je Sitters anB tf)tir Stata. 



-And such 



May still be seen, but perforated sore 
And drill'd in holes the solid oak is found, 
By worms voracious eating through and through. 
At length a generation more refined 

Improved the simple plan 

And o'er the seat with plenteous wadding stuff' d 

Induced a splendid cover. 

These for the rich : the rest whom fate had placed 
In modest mediocrity, content 
With base materials, sat." 

Cowper. 

TIME, the reputed soother and alleviator of troubles, 
produced no calming effect on the angry folks at Mil- 
ford : on the contrary, each week seemed to bring 
with it some fresh cause of disagreement and ill-will. 
The fire once kindled was not allowed to go out for 
lack of fuel ; everybody who had a pew, and every- 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 173 

body who wanted one, had something to add in order 
to keep the flame of contention glowing. People who 
had gone on contentedly for half a century, sitting 
week after week, in the same ricketty old box, without 
murmer or discontent, suddenly discovered that they 
had been very hardly used, and declared it to be 
great injustice that they had not had more room allot- 
ted them, or been placed more immediately opposite 
to the pulpit : some were too near the stove, some 
too near the door ; some were all in the dark, some 
had their eyes put out by the sunshine ; those, who 
like the Crabstocks and Nettleships had seats in the 
same pew, clamoured for an immediate divorce, while 
one or two large families, who contrived to fill two 
pews each, were intent upon having their divided sit- 
ings approximated, and their two small boxes made 
into one large one. 

And then, to crown all, the colony at the railway- 
station grew more and more clamorous to be provided 
with seats in their parish church, and the Engineers 
(who of course looked at all matters of admeasure- 
ment with the interest of a professional eye) did not 
fail to reiterate the remark that the area of the nave, 



174 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

under a different arrangement, might, allowing 
eighteen inches to each person, (they were of course 
very slim themselves), and making the new pews of 
sitting, not kneeling, width, contain the requisite 
accommodation. 

It really was wonderful to see the state of agita- 
tion into which the parish was thrown, the vehe- 
mence with which the various clashing interests were 
maintained, and to hear of the number of ill-natured 
things said and done by people who had lived to- 
gether for many a year, in uninterrupted amity and 
good-will, until they were seized with an attack of 
an epidemic (as distressing in its way as either "the 
dancing madness," or " the black death" of a former 
age, and) which, as being hitherto undescribed, might 
not be unaptly designated as the Pew-fever. 

Such being the state of things, it will easily be 
conceived that the calling a Vestry-meeting was like 
the flames reaching the powder-magazine when a 
ship is on fire : it was the grand explosion, and con- 
summation of the catastrophe. And never proba- 
bly since its church was built, was Milford the scene 
of such a contentious debate as on the occasion when 



THE CHURCHMEN. 175 

the Churchwardens called together their fellow pa- 
rishioners for the purpose of voting the usual annual 
levy of four-pence in the Pound, for the necessary 
repairs of the Sacred fabric. Every rate-payer, 
almost, resolved to attend the meeting, but with the 
full determination that he would pay nothing till he 
had secured the. object on which he had personally 
set his heart; and as this object, generally speaking, 
could only be attained at the expense of a neighbour, 
who would consequently oppose it, the chances of 
an universal resistance to the rate was considerable : 
the church was, as usual, to be made the victim, be- 
cause these stupid people would not agree among 
themselves, and were like children crying for the 
moon. 

Accordingly, on the day appointed, the various 
contending parties met, and the result was such a 
scene of confusion as might have been anticipated. 
Mr. Macfuss, the chairman, endeavoured in vain to 
keep the speakers to the question immediately be- 
fore them; nobody heeded him, half a dozen peo- 
ple were talking at once ; and when after many 
remonstrances on his part, it was agreed that only 



176 MILFORD MALVOI8IN. 

one speech at a time was desirable, each succeeding 
speaker became more and more personal, and wan- 
dered further and further from the four-penny levy, 
till by an easy transition, the discussion about the 
injustice of " some folks trespassing on other folks' 
pews," suggested the recollection to one rate-payer 
that his neighbour's sheep had trespassed into his 
turnips, and the angry expostulation and mutual 
recrimination which ensued, added fuel to the fire 
which was already hot enough. 

At this moment some of the gentlemen from the 
Station made their appearance, and begged to ask 
what accommodation could be provided for them- 
selves and their families in Milford Church. The 
inquiry produced an immediate silence, and every- 
body waited to hear what answer the Churchwar- 
dens would give. Mr. Blunt, who was the repre- 
sentative of the parishioners, was disposed to answer 
that they could be accommodated in the churchyard 
(whenever they wished it) but nowhere else. How- 
ever, as Mr. Kirkscrew the Rector's Churchwarden, 
had been long in office, and was a leading personage in 
the parish, Mr. Blunt left it to him to make answer. 



THE CHUECHMEN. 177 

Mr. Kirkscrew was a very popular person, he 
never laid a church-rate when he could avoid it, and 
always took care to have the church repairs done by 
cheap workmen, in their cheapest manner ; and 
being, moreover, exceedingly anxious to save his own 
pocket, and having anticipated the probability that 
such an enquiry would be made, he was not unpre- 
pared to meet it, and he did so by proposing another 
question; "Of course," he said, "the parish could 
not be expected to do anything for nothing. What 
did the gentlemen at the station propose to do them- 
selves?" 

They expressed a desire to have pews for their 
families, and seats for their artificers ; and they were 
ready to build the former at their own expense, if 
the parish would find room. 

Mr. Nettleship replied that they were already so 
crowded, that even old parishioners, like himself, had 
not an entire pew ; but were subject to disagreeable 
and impertinent intrusions. 

Mr. Crabstock remarked that he was in a simi- 
lar predicament, though somewhat better off than 
Mr. Nettleship, since he found the intruders, whe- 



178 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

ther chimney-sweeps or otherwise, infinitely more 
clean, sweet, and agreeable, than any members of 
the family with whom he had the misfortune to be 
associated. 

Mr. Nettleship was about to make a pleasant 
rejoinder to his neighbour's conciliatory observation, 
but, on his attempting to rise, Mr. Kirkscrew pulled 
him down by the tails of his coat, and intreated bun 
to be quiet. 

Mr. Spokes, who was the advocate of the En- 
gineers, then suggested that if the church were re- 
pewed there would be plenty of room for every- 
body. 

But to this proposal nobody seemed to listen with 
patience. It was received on all sides with murmurs 
of disapprobation, and the pew-holders small and 
great, the very people who had been complaining, 
and grumbling, and quarrelling half an hour before, 
over the inconvenience and unfairness of the present 
arrangement, were all of a sudden smitten with the 
greatest repugnance to alterations. Something, they 
were ready to admit, should be done, if possible, for 
the new comers ; but they could not consent to any 



THE CHURCHMEN. 179 

changes in those seats to which they had themselves 
a long established right. Some had built their pews 
out of their own pockets, some respected them be- 
cause their grandmothers had occupied them, some 
had no particular reason to allege, but all, even Net- 
tleship and Crabstock, resisted the plan for new pew- 
ing : they could not abide the narrow slips of pews 
that were built now-a-days, they had long legs and 
could not bear being cramped, or they had short 
legs and so required a hassock instead of a kneeling- 
board :* they could not and would not sit in any 
but square pews ; and besides, even if they sacrificed 
their's, Sir Peter Pinfold could not be expected to 
sacrifice his ; and unless the Squire's great pew was 
taken down very little room could be gained. 

But why should not the matter be laid before the 
Baronet, asked Mr. Spokes ; he was a great land- 
holder certainly, but nobody, the king himself, 
could not fill a pew twenty feet long, and six feet 
wide. i. 

Once more Mr. Spokes found himself in a mino- 

These abominations have apparently been named on the " lucus 
a non lucendo" principle. In nine out of every ten churches in which 
they have been introduced, it is impossible to kneel at all. 

N2 



180 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

rity ; the rate-payers had no wish whatever to inter- 
fere with the Milford Grange pew : it was the oldest 
pew in the church ; always had been there : some 
said it was built by Oliver Cromwell, some had 
heard that it had been put up in Harry the Eighth's 
time, some thought it a great curiosity, and some 
a very handsome object. At any rate, for all these 
reasons, it would never do to have that altered : and 
there was one reason more which nobody adduced, 
but which was really the influential one, they all 
feared that if the Pinfold pew was brought into a 
reasonable compass, their own boxes might suffer 
diminution. 

" Well, gentlemen," answered Mr. Spokes, " of 
course it is impossible to think further of a scheme 
which seems so universally unpopular. But I have 
another suggestion to make. If those old tumble- 
down oak-sittings, occupied at present by the Poor, 
were removed, there would, I apprehend, be room 
to erect pews for us new-comers without disturbing 
the occupants of the existing pews, and I have 
already said that we would undertake the cost of 
their erection." 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 181 

This was a delightful proposal: it got rid of 
every difficulty among those who were trembling for 
their possessions : and even Mr. Kirkscrew smiled 
blandly at a scheme which would save him trouble 
and cost him nothing, and so he appealed to Mr. 
Macfuss for his approbation of it. 

"Why so far as the pew-holders are concerned," 
observed the Curate, " it seems a very convenient 
arrangement ; but may I ask what you intend to do 
with the Poor ? How are they to be accommodated ?" 

At this unexpected inquiry the assembled ves- 
try looked rather blank : they had only been consi- 
dering themselves : nobody had thought about the 
Poor. 

" Dear me, they can sit anywhere," observed Mr. 
Clemmalive, a gentleman weighing eighteen stone, 
one of the board of guardians, and an inexorable 
dietist on the water-gruel system at the Union work- 
house, " Dear me, they can sit anywhere. There's 
not many on 'em comes, and for them as does, 
there's the Communion steps, which are very com- 
fortable and well-matted, and there may be some 
new benches put lengthways down the aisle." 



182 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

Mr. Macfuss shook his head, and said he did 
not think that upon reflection the gentlemen in the 
vestry would be satisfied with giving such meagre 
accommodation to the Poor. " They need encou- 
ragements," he thought, " and any obstacles thrown 
in their way would be a most serious evil: if but 
few came now, there would be fewer still when they 
were driven forth from their old seats." 

" But suppose, my good Sir," interposed Mr. 
Spokes, " that we find them as good, or better places, 
what shall you say then ?" 

" I shall be quite satisfied," answered Mr. Mac- 
fuss. 

"Well then, gentlemen," continued Spokes, "it 
appears to me that we may erect a gallery or two, at 
the west-end of the church with very little trouble, 
and perhaps another down one side, and this will 
afford ample room, not only for the Milford poor, 
but for our numerous artisans at the station, for 
whom some provision ought perhaps to be made." 

Mr. Kirkscrew's wife's brother was a carpenter, 
who having erected a row of cottages and three 
shop fronts, dubbed himself a builder, and had in- 







' Churches *, the; aie." 



p. ISS. 



THE CHURCHMEN. 183 

tended in a few months to set up as an architect, but 
his name having in the interim become rather well- 
known in the Court of Bankruptcy, he had post- 
poned, for a short time, the adoption of the more 
illustrious title. This Mr. Greenwood (happily so 
designated, since he was never known to use sea- 
soned timber in any building with which he was 
connected) and the senior Churchwarden of Milford 
were great allies, and such being the case, it is only 
wonderful how Milford church had escaped being 
beautified by him. However, the present occasion 
seeming a fair opportunity to give his brother-in-law 
a helping hand, and not being without a vague sus- 
picion that by advancing money to his needy rela- 
tive at usurious interest, he might himself turn a 
penny by the job, Mr. Kirkscrew listened to the 
suggestion with extreme satisfaction, thanked Mr. 
Spokes for making it, and added, that for his part it 
appeared to him to obviate every difficulty. 

The assembled parishioners seemed quite of the 
same opinion; and so it fell out that a meeting 
which commenced with discord, terminated with 
very decent appearances of unanimity. The only 



184 MILFOKD MALVOI8IN. 

obstacle of any kind (for there is no rose without a 
thorn) was the expense : but they might get a grant 
from the Church Building Society, and Sir Peter 
Pinfold was very generous, and there were many ways 
now-a-days of getting money for church repairs. 

So it was settled that the galleries were to be 
erected, the fourpenny levy was granted nem. con., 
Messrs. Macfuss and Kirkscrew were deputed to 
wait upon the Baronet, and ask his aid, and then 
the meeting broke up. 

But Sir Peter was, as it turned out, by no means 
an admirer of the contemplated arrangements ; he 
thought the galleries would utterly disfigure the 
church, and destroy the beauty of its proportions. 
" It was quite right," he said, " that people should 
have pews, and everybody be accommodated; and 
he was sure that by a new arrangement plenty of 
room would be found for everybody." 

" But your own pew, Sir Peter ? we cannot move 
that...." 

"Why not?" asked the Baronet interrupting 
him. 

" Oh, we have no right or wish to ask you to 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 185 

sacrifice your present commodious seat, which has 
so long been attached to the Grange ; but it is so 
placed that without moving it very little could be 
done towards a re-arrangement." 

" Pray don't let my pew, then, be any obstacle in 
way, Mr. Kirkscrew; pull it down tomorrow if you 
please. If you will only give me the necessary 
amount of room, that is all for which I stipulate." 

Mr. Kirkscrew desired nothing less than such a 
concession ; he had felt strong in the conviction of 
the Squire's well-known obstinacy ; and doubtless, 
if there had been no question of erecting galleries, 
Sir Peter might, and probably would have vehe- 
mently opposed the destruction of his pew ; but 
whether it was that obstinate people are occasionally 
wayward and capricious, or whether the Baronet 
magnanimously resolved to choose the least of two 
3vils, we do not pretend to say : certain, however, it 
is, that the Churchwarden was utterly taken aback by 
Sir Peter's decision : he had never anticipated that 
the Squire could be indifferent about maintaining 
the grand pew in its original dimensions, and he felt 
that so long as that pew stood, all the other shape- 



186 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

less boxes might be preserved intact. But here were 
all his visions of security annihilated in a moment. 
However, it was necessary that he should say some- 
thing, so after blundering, and hesitating, and thank- 
ing the Baronet for his condescension, and so forth, 
he was forced to confess that he believed the other 
pew-holders in the parish would be more unyielding 
than Sir Peter, and that they had one and all a strong 
repugnance to any changes. 

" And pray, Mr. Churchwarden, who is to pay 
for these galleries ?" asked the Baronet who now 
began to comprehend the real state of the case. 

" Why, Sir," answered Mr. Kirkscrew, " that is 
a point on which we wished to consult you. Bur- 
dened, as the parish is, we cannot be expected to do 
much from the rates ; but we hope individual libe- 
rality will aid us considerably." 
" Humph," said the Baronet. 
"And then," continued the Churchwarden, "we 
can get something from the Diocesan Society." 

"Well?" said Sir Peter, as drily as before, 
" and you think this will be sufficient?'* 

"No, I fear not;" replied Mr. Macfuss, "but 



THE CHURCHMEN. 187 

perhaps some of the ladies will undertake to levy 
shilling contributions from the public. The penny 
postage gives wonderful facilities that way." While 
the Curate said this, he fixed his eyes so intently on 
Lady Pinfold who was sitting at the other end of the 
room, that she felt she was expected to take a part 
in the conversation : and therefore good-naturedly 
exclaimed, " Dear me, if I can be of any use, I am 
sure I shall be happy to assist you, Mr. Macfuss," 
and then she stopped short, for she saw Sir Peter 
looking as if. he would like to beat her, "that is, if 

it is a sort of thing that that that I could do. 

But I do'nt understand what the method you pro- 
pose to adopt, is." 

" You're a happy woman, my Lady," cried the 
Baronet ; " ' Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be 
wise.' I tell you what, Lady Pinfold, I wish you 
would change correspondents with me ; for I rarely 
open the letter-bag without finding two or three im- 
pertinent letters asking me for a shilling." 

" But why should'nt poor people ask for a shil- 
ling if they want it ?" 

" It is not the asking for it, but the may of asking 



188 MILFOED MALVOISIH. 

that I quarrel with," replied her husband. " I re- 
ceive a letter, open it, find in it, first, an envelope 
stinking of musk, and directed to a Mrs. Bountiful, 
or Miss Shillingsworth, or somebody I never heard 
of, and who for aught I know, may be a swindler : 
then comes a piece of card cut to hold the money 
which my amiable correspondent takes it for granted 
will be sent ; and lastly, a handbill like those issued 
by quack-doctors, and very much in the same strain. 
It is headed with a text or two of Scripture, just to 
shew you how excellent the person who sends it 
must be. After this follows an address in a strain of 
foot-pad eloquence, ' Stand and deliver ! Your 
money or your life !' concluded by an intimation 
that if you give ' any much larger sum' than a 
shilling, the recipient will even go the length of 
thanking you for it ; and thus you will have every 
reason to hope that a correspondence commenced 
with so much delicacy, will be permanently con- 
tinued." 

" Ah, now Sir Peter," said his Lady, laughing, 
" you have got into one of your satirical, ill-natured 
ways, and so we shall have nothing but abuse of 
what was at any rate well-meant." 



THE CHURCHMEN. 189 

"Pardon me," replied the Baronet, "I do not 
speak of these people with half the severity they de- 
serve. Just think of the mischief they do by taking 
merit to themselves for only asking for a shilling. If 
a work of Christian Charity is to be done, let Chris- 
tian people be called upon to give according to their 
means ; do'nt encourage the miserable covetous spi- 
rit of the age, by falling into the canting humbug 
of asking for sixpences and shillings, because their 
loss will never be felt. Depend upon it, the people 
who set this sort of machinery going must be speci- 
ally careful of their own pockets ; you may rely on 
it, that they practise this part of their preaching." 

" Perhaps, Sir Peter," remarked Mr. Kirkscrew, 
"you are not aware what large sums maybe col- 
lected this way. A lady who lives in the city, 
Mrs. Scraper, got 1,500 before she had got to the 
letter M in the London Directory. And Mrs. 
Gratis, whom I dare say you know, Sir Peter, as she 
lives in this neighbourhood, has got 400 very lately. 
Pinchley Vicarage is but a small house, and Mr. 
Gratis has only one other living, and there is a large 
family, and they wanted more room, and the out- 



190 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

houses were dilapidated, so Mrs. Gratis sent out 
letters for shilling-contributions, and got enough 
money to build a nursery, and a coach-house; to 
erect a fresh set of pig-styes, and put up a very 
handsome gold and white paper in the drawing room. 
To be sure Mrs. Gratis is a very clever managing 
woman, and she had need to be with so many chil- 
dren. But I do believe she gives away hundreds in 
charity yearly ; yet it never costs her or her husband 
a farthing. Of course she has a great deal of trou- 
ble in collecting so much money, but she is not par- 
ticular in asking, and she gets it somehow." 

"Well, I must declare at once," said Lady Pinfold, 
turning to Mr. Macfuss, " that I cannot lend myself 
to such a scheme as this: every shilling I received 
would make me blush for my own meanness. I shall 
be happy to give you a donation, (and if the gal- 
leries are dispensed with, it shall be a large one) 
but you must forgive my declining to levy contri- 
butions after the Gratis fashion." 

" Quite right! my Lady !" ejaculated Sir Peter. 
" Out upon such quackery and nonsense ! And, my 
dear, let us lay it down as a rule for the time to come, 



THE CHURCHMEN. 191 

that if either of us receive any letters from these good 
folks who would be charitable at other people's ex- 
pense, to acknowledge the receipt, by informing our 
correspondents that we will forward their communi- 
cation (as we do all begging letters) to the Mendicity 
Society. And now, gentlemen, with respect to the 
business in hand, I hate galleries, and wo'nt give a 
six-pence towards them, but if you choose to re-pew 
the church properly, I am quite ready to sacrifice 
my pew, and to contribute my quota to your funds." 

And Sir Peter wished his visitors good morning, 
nothing doubting that the gallery scheme would be 
dropped. But he was disappointed. The ancient 
pew -holders would not be disturbed, and Mr. Kirk- 
screw was anxious to benefit himself and Mr. Green- 
wood ; and accordingly, in a few months, two gal- 
leries were reared, one above another, at the west- 
end of the church, and another dragged its slow 
length adown the aisle, cutting the arches of the 
nave in two, and converting the venerable fabric 
into as hideous a preaching-house as eyes could see. 

And then came the usual result : the folks who 
had pews under the gallery were now outrageous 



192 MILFOED MALVOISIW. 

because they were all in the dark ; others declared 
that the atmosphere was so close and confined, that 
they could not go to church without feeling faint, 
or going to sleep. One lady left off coming to Di- 
vine service because she said that one of the new 
cast-iron pillars obstructed her view of the preacher : 
another became an attendant at the meeting-house 
in an adjoining parish, because she (being one in 
family) could only have half of one of the new pews : 
and several of those who had battled most earnestly 
for the possession of a pew, when they had once 
fairly secured it, never came near it. 

Meanwhile, Sir Peter Pinfold thinking that his 
wishes had not been sufficiently consulted, was in 
high dudgeon with the Curate and the Churchwar- 
dens, and would contribute nothing to the list of 
donations. And to sum up all, the galleries had not 
been erected much more than a year, before the most 
unequivocal symptoms of dry-rot began to exhibit 
themselves, and Mr. Greenwood's timbers looked as 
if they had been selected from the Fungus-pit at 
Woolwich. 

The galleries, therefore, became in a short time 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 193 

a more fruitful cause of dissension than even the 
pews had been, and the people who sat under them 
declared that they were in constant expectation of 
their coming down upon their heads. Poor Mr. 
Macfuss fretted and fidgetted, and tried to make 
peace and erect props, but he failed in both points ; 
the props were of no use, and peace seemed to have 
fled from Milford Malvoisin. Party feeling grew 
higher than ever ; Mr. Kirkscrew resigned his office 
of Churchwarden, and what would have become of 
the unlucky Curate in this war of elements it is hard 
to say ; happily, however, for him, when the hub- 
bub was at its height, his eyes glanced upon the fol- 
lowing advertisement in the Ecclesiastical Gazette : 

"Wanted, a Clergyman of orthodox sentiments, 
and evangelical opinions, as Assistant Curate in a 
fashionable watering-place. As his duties will bring 
him into contact with the higher ranks, it is deemed 
essential that he should have a prepossessing exte- 
rior, and gentlemanly address. The salary is 80 a 
year, with the advantages of introduction to the best 
society, and (in consequence) few expences of house- 



194 MILFOBD MALVOISLN. 

keeping. Direct to A. M., Post Office, Seahamp- 
ton. 

" N.B. The gentleman must be approved by the 
, Society." 

The last paragraph certainly rather staggered Mr. 
Macfuss, for though he had not hitherto given him- 
self much trouble about Church principles, it did 
seem rather a strong measure for any Society to 
assume to itself episcopal functions and jurisdiction. 
However, every day shews that people may recon- 
cile themselves to anything, and as Mr. Macfuss 
(like a peer of the last century, of whom it was said, 
that it might be equally predicated of him, that he 
was a high-spirited nobleman on a long-tailed horse, 
or a long-tailed nobleman on a high-spirited horse) 
as Mr. Macfuss had no doubt that he was possessed 
of orthodox sentiments, and evangelical opinions, or 
orthodox opinions, and evangelical sentiments, as the 
case might require, (and indeed he had full as much of 
one as of the other) ; and as, moreover, his grand- 
mother had invariably spoken of him as possessing a 
beautiful exterior, and gentlemanly address; know- 



THE CHURCHMEN. 195 

ing, too, that he was six feet high, and had remarkably 
good teeth ; and lastly, being fond of polite society 
and sea bathing, he determined to apply for the 
Curacy, and having satisfied the Committee who 
" sat upon him" on all the above points, he received 
the nomination, and in three months quitted the 
quarrels of Milford Malvoisin, for the fashionable 
chapel at Seahampton, where there were three tiers 
of galleries, and no dry-rot, and where the ladies of 
his congregation presented him before the year was 
over with an elegant set of robes, a diamond ring, and 
three dozen pocket-handkerchiefs of the finest French 
cambric. 




o2 



CHAPTER IX. 



's tocll, tfjat cntjs tocll. 



As when in tumults rise the ignoble crowd, 
Mad are their notions, and their tongues aie loud. 
And stones and brands in rattling vollies fly, 
And all the rustic arms which fury can supply- 
Then if some grave and pious man appear, 
They hush their noise, and lend a listening ear. 

Dryden'i Virgil. 

IT has been already mentioned that there was no 
resident Rector at Milford Malvoisin. Mr. Clerke, 
who was the incumbent during the period of which 
we have been speaking, had another living, Mister- 
ton Malvoisin, some five miles off, and there he had 
dwelt for more than half a century ; but for some 
years past age and infirmities had reduced him to a 
taste of childishness and imbecility, and he presented 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 197 

to his friends that sight which is the most trying and 
distressing to witness, existence, when existence 
has become a burden, through failure of the intel- 
lectual powers, and inability to discharge the duties 
of life. The pastoral superintendence of both his 
parishes had, therefore, for some time past devolved 
solely upon Curates, and this state of things, had not 
been without its evils, and perhaps the longer it con- 
tinued the worse matters would have become. It 
was consequently a most fortunate circumstance, 
considering how injudiciously Mr. Macfuss had 
acted, and how difficult the position of his successor 
would inevitably be, that that successor came not 
with the more limited means and contracted autho- 
rity of a Curate, but as a Rector who was about to 
fix his permanent residence in the parish. Within a 
month after Mr. Macfuss's departure to Seahampton, 
good old Mr. Clerke died, and Mr. Till, a gentleman 
who had been for some years engaged in the labours 
of a town parish, and who had thereby gained much 
experience in parochial matters, was nominated to 
the living. 

And a happy appointment it was for the inhabi- 



198 MILFOKD MALVOI8IN. 

tants of Milford ; for Mr. Till was not only an active 
and zealous parish-Priest, but one whose activity was 
guided by discretion, and whose zeal was according 
to knowledge. Moreover, he was one who was tho- 
roughly imbued with Church principles, and who 
felt that on carrying out the Church-system in his 
parish the permanent success of his labours would 
depend. He knew full well that there was an easy 
road to popularity, and perhaps celebrity, for those 
who choose to make themselves conspicuous : there 
is a religious as well as a political agitation : and it 
is to be feared that in the former as well as in the 
latter, the agitator has the same object, the ultimate 
aggrandizement of self. It is not difficult for one 
who is full of himself, his own zeal, his own devotion, 
his own earnestness, to obtain for a short time a very 
great influence, and to raise himself in popular esti- 
mation, far above many who are his superiors, not 
less in intellect, than in the graces of humility and 
self-discipline. But a position so obtained is rarely 
lasting; it is like "fire among the thorns, giving a 
momentary blaze, and then dying away for ever :" 
and even where a celebrity of this description con- 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 199 

tinues permanently, it is attended with little advan- 
tage either to the individual, or to his flock; the 
one remains self-deceived, the other fails to produce 
the expected fruit. " We looked for much," as the 
Prophet saith, " and, lo, it has come to little." 

On the other hand, he who thinks of himself as 
nothing, and the Church and the Church's cause as 
every thing, who feels his true position as one among 
many brethren ; who looks on man's praise as a snare, 
and on ambition as a sin ; who is content to be useful 
instead of being admired ; who endures hardness, and 
multiplies watchings, and fastings, and prayers, in 
preference to the easy, comfortable religion of the 
day; such an one, though he may remain unnoticed 
by the world, will gradually be building up, while 
men sleep, and they know not how, an edifice, not 
of wood, hay, or stubble, but of gold, and silver, and 
precious stones, and which shall assuredly stand on 
that day when " the fire shall try every man's work, 
of what sort it is." And more than this, his influ- 
ence shall extend, and the seed which he sowed 
bear fruit, even long and long after he himself is for- 
gotten. Such a man was Mr. Till. Like Hooker, 



200 MILFOBD MALVOI8W. 

whom Walton describes as an " obscure, harmless 
man ; a man in poor clothes, of a mean stature, and 
stooping, and yet more lowly in the thoughts of his 
soul : his body worn out, not with age, but study and 
holy mortifications." Like Hooker, the new Rector 
had little in his personal appearance to attract or pre- 
possess, and when he arrived at Milford those who 
first saw him thought that one so pale and emaci- 
ated would soon make way for another incumbent. 
When they heard him in the reading desk too, they 
were quite disappointed: "it was," they said, "just 
as if he was saying his prayers in his own chamber, 
and he seemed quite unconscious of the presence of 
the congregation." The fact was they were so used 
to hearing Mr. Macfuss preach the prayers, that they 
were on the look-out for fine intonations and grand 
effects, and so they could not appreciate one who 
was too much absorbed in what he was doing, to 
consider the impression he was making on those 
around him. He was thinking too much of the 
prayers, and of Him to whom they were addressed, 
and of those for whom as God's Priest he was inter- 
ceding, to think of himself; and so he was not try- 



THE CHURCHMEN. 201 

ing to throw a " larmoyant" tone into the Confes- 
sion, and an authoritative one into the Absolution, 
and so forth; the subject was too awful to be trifled 
with : he was in earnest, not acting ; and conse- 
quently being only distinct in his enunciation, and 
being quite plain and simple in his delivery, his 
parishioners thought as they said, that he was " no- 
thing out of the common way." So, likewise, in the 
pulpit, to persons who were expecting mouthing, and 
action, and the tricks of our modern popular prea- 
chers, Mr. Till gave little satisfaction, for to adopt 
once more the words of Hooker's biographer " his 
sermons were neither long nor earnest," (i. e. impas- 
sioned) but uttered with a grave zeal and an humble 
voice : his eyes always fixed on one place to prevent 
his imagination from wandering ; insomuch that he 
seemed to study as he spake. The design of his 
sermons, as indeed of all his discourses, was to shew 
reasons for what he spake ; and with these reasons 
such a kind of rhetoric, as did rather convince and 
persuade, than frighten men into piety; studying 
not so much for matter which he never wanted, 
as for apt illustrations, to inform and teach his un- 



202 MILFOED MALVOI8IN. 

learned hearers by familiar examples, and then make 
them better by convincing applications ; never la- 
bouring by hard words, and then by needless dis- 
tinctions and sub-distinctions to amuse his hearers, 
and get glory to himself; but only glory to God." 
Mr. Till, therefore, during the first fortnight of 
his incumbency, was considered to be decidedly in- 
ferior to Mr. Macfuss. 

But not many weeks had passed before the Mil- 
ford critics began to discover that they had made a 
mistake. Mr. Macfuss had certainly, at one period, 
more variety than his successor ; for as has been 
already said, having no settled opinions, his theology 
at the commencement of his career, had as many 
alternations from hot to cold, and from cold to hot, 
as the thermometer itself, but having latterly become 
more of a party man, he had but one sermon, though 
of course a sufficient variety of texts and beginnings 
to head it withal, so that it had become a sort of by- 
word among his flock, when any body asked what 
the Curate had been preaching about, to answer, 
" Oh, just the old story !" With Mr. Till it was 
different. Nobody could say that he was undecided 



THE CHUECHMEN. 203 

in his opinions, and yet nobody could say that he 
did not give sufficient prominency to every doctrine 
in the circle of Christian truth. Without making 
any professions of his zeal in declaring " the whole 
counsel of God," it was the object at which he 
laboured continually; and so at length his people 
gradually discovered, and that although there was 
little of noisy declamation "to interest and excite" 
them, they were always sent home enlightened by a 
clear and distinct statement on some important sub- 
ject, and faithfully warned and exhorted to the dis- 
charge of some Christian duty. So with regard to 
the Prayers, they found themselves thinking nothing 
at all about the reader, as they had been wont, but 
giving their attention more fully and undistractedly 
to what he was saying. And lastly, (for such is often 
the result of very hasty conclusions) they began to 
veer round, and change their opinions with respect to 
his personal appearance. Some wondered that they 
had not earlier discovered what piercing eyes he had, 
some found out that he had such a pleasant voice, 
and all said that every feature in his countenance 
bespoke him to be a good man. It was quite true 



204 MILFOED MALVOISW. 

that Mr. Till had all these advantages ; but the 
parishioners of Milford did not find them out till 
they were unconsciously yielding to an influence, 
such, as till now, had never been exercised over 
them: their respect and regard were bestowed in- 
sensibly; their hearts had been stolen away, as it 
were, by stealth. 

The state of his church was, of course, one of the 
first points to which the new Rector directed his at- 
tention, and was a subject of much anxious thought. 
He had sufficient knowledge of Ecclesiastical archi- 
tecture to be able to form a general notion of what 
ought to be done, and was prudent enough to see 
that for practical details it was far better (and proba- 
bly cheaper) to obtain the aid of a first-rate architect, 
than to commit himself to the tender mercies of a 
builder. 

Accordingly, he lost no time in putting himself in 
communication with a gentleman, who was not only 
a person of great taste and experience, but was an 
enthusiastic admirer of Gothic architecture, had a 
reverential feeling for antiquity, and fully understood 
the Catholic arrangements of a church. It is need- 



THE CHUBCHMEN. 205 

less to say that such a man would make no wanton 
and unnecessary alterations, and that he would not 
do anything to destroy the unity of the original design. 

One of the first questions which Mr. Waynflete 
asked Mr. Till, after carefully surveying the Sacred 
fabric, was whether he intended merely to put the 
edifice in a decent state, or to restore it (so far as 
possible) to the condition in which it must have been 
antecedent to its spoliation by the Puritans. 

I would transmit it to those that come after me," 
replied the Rector, " in as perfect a state as on the 
day of its consecration. The parish, of course, can 
only be required to keep the building in an adequate 
state of repair, but that will not content me. Some 
of my flock, I do not doubt, will feel it as great a 
privilege as I do myself to be allowed to contribute 
towards the funds which will be required for the 
larger measure of restoration contemplated by me ; 
but whether they do or not, I am resolved that the 
work shall be done : if by myself alone so much the 
greater my happiness." 

"But my good Sir," answered the Architect, 
"the sum required will be at least two thousand 
pounds." 



206 MILFORD MALVOISIN. 

"So little?" said Mr. Till, "I should not have 
been surprised if you had named a larger sum." 

Mr. Waynflete looked surprised, for he knew that 
his friend's means were very limited, and that the 
living was not worth more than 350 a year. "I 
beg your pardon," said he, at length, " but you seem 
to me to contemplate a very rash proceeding." 

" Why ?" asked the incumbent of Milford. 

" Because you have all the expenses before you, 
which taking possession of a new living involves. 
You have a parsonage to furnish from the garret to 
the cellar, you . . . ." 

"Excuse me," replied Mr. Till, "I shall require 
a bed room, and a sitting room, and a servant's room, 
and I have brought more than enough furniture 
with me to accomplish that. You don't suppose 
that I am going to buy couches and arm-chairs, 
curtains, and carpets, and looking glasses, while my 
church is in its present condition ?" 

Mr. Waynflete gazed at his friend as if he thought 
that he had taken leave of his senses, and exclaimed, 
" You are not in earnest, surely." 

"lam, though!" answered the Rector hastily, 
and as if he did not wish the discussion prolonged. 



THE CHURCHMEN. 207 

" Believe me, Till, I respect your motives most 
sincerely, but you carry your notions too far : the 
world will say . . . ." 

" My good friend," replied Mr. Till, interrupting 
the architect, and laying his hand upon his arm, " if 
you wish to prove to me that I am in error, I am 
quite ready to listen to you, hut, I entreat you, do 
not do yourself so little justice as to bring forward the 
opinion of the world as being worth a thought on 
such a subject as this. However, if you really think 
the poor world would grow nervous or over- anxious, 
were it to hear the state of the case, you should 
reflect that we have the remedy in our own hands. 
/, of course, shall never say whence the funds are 
derived, and if, as I now do, I beg you to preserve 
an unbroken silence on the subject, I know that as 
a friend and a man of honour, I may trust you. My 
fortune is eight thousand pounds : surely it is no 
great sacrifice to offer a quarter of it to Him, from 
whom I have received all/ It is no sacrifice, but if 
it were, I would gladly make it as an exercise of 
faith. God will be no man's debtor." 

But the needful funds were not the only things 



208 MILFOED MALVOISIN. 

which it was necessary to obtain before the restora- 
tion of Milford Church could be commenced : the 
pew-holders must be brought to consent to the des- 
truction of their dearly-beloved pews, and this, as 
Mr. Till well knew, was no easy point to gain, for his 
experience in a large town had taught him that on 
no subject connected with the Church do people ex- 
hibit such pitiful and unchristian tempers. 

As soon, therefore, as he had procured the plans 
of the proposed alterations, he carried them with him. 
to Milford Grange, and laid them before Sir Peter 
Pinfold. Our readers, knowing the Baronet's hasty 
temper, may very naturally suppose that he flew 
into a passion, and proceeded to butt at Mr. Till in 
the same manner as he had done at the railway En- 
gineers: such, however, was not the case. What 
his reply might have been if Mr. Macfuss had sug- 
gested to him to turn his pew into open seats, it is 
not difficult to anticipate ; he would have done him- 
self the injustice of not giving the matter proper 
consideration, merely because he did not happen to 
like the person who made the proposal. But Sir 
Peter, in spite of his foibles, knew how to appreciate 



THE CHURCHMEN. 209 

a person of Mr. TilTs character : "and when he] had 
listened to the Rector's statement, and the arguments 
adduced in favour of the alterations, he saw at once 
the advantages of the plan ; and not only cheerfully 
gave his consent as far as himself and his tenants 
were concerned, but volunteered a very munificent 
contribution to the repair-fund. 

And so it was with the poor rate-payers, and the 
petty shop-keepers (some of whom had pews) ; they 
all, with hardly an exception, were ready to enter 
into Mr. Till's views, and assured him they felt that 
he would do better for them than they could do for 
themselves : they quite agreed with him in thinking 
that the pews had created a deal of ill-will in the 
parish, and that the House of God was no place for 
the animosities of man. 

So far all was plain sailing, as the saying is ; but 
Mr. Till knew that his main difficulties were yet to 
come ; the Crabstocks and the Nettleships, the Tuffs 
and the Kirkscrews, and the Perkys, these were 
the class of people who were sure to be violently 
opposed to him : wealthy fanners who had been 
accustomed for half a century or so, to connect a 
p 



210 MILFOBD MALVOISIW. 

notion of dignity with the possession of a pew, and 
who thought that dignity was an article which it 
specially behoved them to carry to church ; worthy 
folks who had a great objection to open seats, and 
who on being asked why they had such an objection, 
pertinently answered " because they had ;" ladies of 
a certain age who were afraid (for their wrinkles' sake) 
of being dragged from the obscurity of a pew into 
the full blaze of day ; smart dressers who feared that 
their dresses would be soiled or rumpled by too close 
approximation to their neighbours, all those people, 
in short, who thought themselves of consequence, 
and that it was their duty to make themselves of more 
consequence, were sure to be opponents of any scheme 
in which the comfort and advantage of the many was 
to be preferred to that of the few. 

And all these parties, with all their different mo- 
tives of self-interest, Mr. Till had to encounter, and, 
if possible, to persuade them to lay aside their sel- 
fishness, and to consider others as well as themselves. 
Let one specimen of such a conversation suffice, for 
the characteristics of rude, undisciplined minds are 
very much the same in all cases, and are very painful 
to contemplate. 



THE CHUKCHMEN. 211 

" I have called on you, Mrs. Tuff," said Mr. Till, 
on the occasion alluded to, "for the purpose of ask- 
ing your consent to the removal of your pew, and 
the substitution of an open sitting in its place, when 
the repairs of the church shall be completed." 

" Oh, indeed, Sir ? It is something new, quite 
new, my being consulted about the disposal of my 
pew. It is the fashion at Milford church to fill peo- 
ples pews with strangers without their permission, 
and as I may say, to dispose of them altogether. 
What's the good of coming to ask what you know I 
shall refuse, and what you will probably do what you 
will with, in spite of my refusal?" 

" In the first place, Madam, I not only did not 
know that you would refuse our request, but I feel 
quite persuaded that you will not, upon reflection, 
oppose yourself to any plan which is fraught with 
advantage to your fellow-parishioners." 

" I have a right to my pew, Sir, and I shall stand 
by my rights." 

" Have you any faculty for the seat you occupy?" 

"No, Sir; but the town-book allotted my pre- 
sent pew to Vinegar Hill Farm, a hundred years ago, 



212 MILFOED MALVOISW. 

and, therefore, as the pew has always gone with 
Vinegar Hill, it always will to the end of the world." 

" I helieve, Madam," answered Mr. Till, " that 
you are in error as to the law of the case. You have 
a right to claim to be seated in Milford church, and 
were no changes necessary, you would, no doubt, be 
left in undisputed possession of your present pew ; 
but when the parishioners have decided on a re- 
arrangement of sittings, you cannot, as an individual, 
claim an exemption from the general rule." 

" Ah, I thought there was some quibble to turn 
me out, I was sure of it, you might as well have 
said so at once." 

"I think you mis-understand the state of the 
case, Mrs. Tuff; your present pew, will, if the parish 
decide on re-arranging the sittings, be removed, but 
you will have an adequate number of seats granted 
you in lieu of those which you now hold ; the point, 
however, which I wish to ascertain from you is, whe- 
ther you have any objections to an open sitting?" 

" Oh ! what you want to put me on an equality 
with my servants, and the alms-house people, and 
the charity children? I am not going to demean 



THE CHUECHMEX. 213 

myself so, I can tell you, Sir. If I can't sit in a pew, 
I shan't come to church." 

" I grieve to hear you say so, Madam ;" answered 
Mr. Till, "there are many ways in which people 
jeopard their souls, but to do so because you cannot 
sit in a deal box does seem to me quite incompre- 
hensible. Why should there be distinctions of rank 
kept up in the House of God ? Surely the rich and 
poor may meet there on equality." 

" I shan't sit cheek by jowl with my ploughmen, 
I can tell you," exclaimed Mrs. Tuff, angrily. 

" You are not called upon to do so," answered 
Mr. Till; "but if you cannot associate with your 
dependents in praise and prayer on earth, how will 
you tolerate communion and fellowship with them 
hereafter ? You would not have one Heaven for the 
Rich and another for the Poor ?" 

Mrs. Tuff looked as if she desired nothing better, 
but she forbore to say so, and Mr. Till continued : 
" Church, Madam, is the place, where, if anywhere, 
in this world, all are upon an equality ; and it is 
good for us all to be reminded that such is the case. 
So shall there be neither undue exaltation or abase- 



214 MILTOKD MALVOI8IN. 

ment ; the rich will not consider their poorer bre- 
thren as their inferiors, nor the poor feel unworthy 
to mix in the devotions of their worldly superiors." 

" Well ! really, I never heard anything so shock- 
ing!" cried Mrs. Tuff. "You a Clergyman, Sir! 
and preaching such levelling, Jacobinical, democra- 
tic, radical doctrines. I wonder what we shall hear 
of next!" 

Mr. Till did not think it necessary to defend 
himself from the charge of being a leveller : he felt 
he was wasting time, so hastened to bring matters to 
a crisis. " I am to understand, then, Mrs. Tuff," 
said he, " that you altogether oppose yourself to the 
proposed changes ?" 

" Yes, Sir," replied the lady, in a very decided 
tone ; " and I suspect you won't find three people in 
the parish who will consent to give up their pews." 

" I have already found that my poorest and my 
richest parishioners make no difficulty about it." 

" Oh, I dare say not," answered Mrs. Tuff; "but 
that is easily accounted for." 

" In what manner?" asked the Rector. 

" Sir," rejoined the tenant of Vinegar Hill, "the 



THE CHURCHMEN. 215 

middle class in society object to open pews in the 
church, while the highest and lowest prefer them, 
because we in the middle classes are much more 
moral and religious than the other two ranks." 

Mr. Till was prepared for a good deal from the 
lips of such a disputant; but the humility and mo- 
desty of this last speech was beyond what any body 
could have expected. He remained silent from 
amazement; but was soon not a little amused to 
find Mrs. Tuff taking up a totally different line of 
argument. 

" Yes, Sir," she continued, " it is our piety, not 
our pride, that makes us prefer closed pews ; we are 
bidden to pray in secret, and thus we would fulfil 
the commandment, keeping ourselves unobserved 
where no external objects distract the attention, and 
the words of the preacher come more home to our 
hearts/' 

" Do you seriously mean, Madam, to refer to 
public worship, a command, which, from its very 
wording shews that it was directed wholly and solely 
to private prayer?" 

" I know this, Sir, though I am no Divine, that 



216 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

the Bible tells me when I pray to enter into my 
closet, and shut to the door. Is not my pew my 
closet ? and how can I shut to the door in an open 
sitting?" 

"You would assert, then," asked Mr. Till, " that 
all public worship as such, is an infringement of our 
blessed Lord's command ; that if the poor, for in- 
stance, who have no pews, pray in open sittings, their 
prayers, under such circumstances, are an act of pre- 
sumption and disobedience ; and that in point of 
fact it is quite an error to offer * Common Prayer ' in 
common?" 

Mrs. Tuff not having quite seen whither her ab- 
surd doctrine would lead her, was for the moment 
silenced, so the Rector availed himself of the oppor- 
tunity to point out the utter inappropriateness of the 
passages cited by her, reminded her of the Apostolical 
injunction that we should not forsake the assembling 
of ourselves together, set strongly before her the 
social character of every part of the services of the 
Church, and shewed unanswerably that for persons 
to come to God's House, and then with their pews 
and their exclusiveness to shut themselves off (or 



THB CHTIBCHMElf. 217 

rather to attempt to do so, for the thing is impossible, 
and external objects are just as visible and distracting 
in pews as elsewhere) to shut themselves off from all 
companionship with their fellow-worshippers, cannot 
be otherwise than an offence to God and the Church. 
Mrs. Tuff had nothing to allege against what 
was in truth unanswerable, so she shifted her position 
once more. 

" It seems to me," she said, " that after all, a 
great deal more is said against pews than would be the 
case if you did not think them unsightly. You talk 
of them as if you thought them wrong in themselves. 
I believe your only object in getting rid of them is to 
make the church look better." 

" It is one object, Madam, and a very great and 
important one, but the main reason I have already 
alleged." 

" Well, I think you will destroy the Church with 
all your innovations : you are encouraging dissent to 
established forms by destroying pews, and you will 
make people papists and methodists with your changes. 
And it is all pride, and not humility ; and you are 
aiding the radicals by altering ancient customs ; and 



218 MILFOED MALVOISDT. 

you will upset the monarchy, Sir, as well as the pews, 
and in short, I dont know what you wo'nt do. And 
I intend to maintain my property against all invasion 
of my rights, and I shall see whether Mr. Blackadder 
will not recommend me to take the law of the Church- 
wardens, if they presume to touch my pew. And so 
you have your answer, Sir." 

Such was a sample of the sort of persons Mr. 
Till had to deal with, and such is a fair specimen of 
the sort of arguments hy which they advocate the 
Pew-system. It is not meant that all who were un- 
willing to enter into his views addressed their Pastor 
with the coarseness and offensiveness which Mrs. 
Tuff exhibited, but still there was much to disgust 
and discourage the new incumbent. Mr. Till, how- 
ever, bore all the angry opposition which threatened 
him, with imperturbable good nature. He was wise 
enough to look upon such out-breaks as that of the 
tenant of Vinegar Hill, as by no means cutting off his 
hope of ultimate success. " Thunder storms clear the 
air," he was wont to say. And when he had listened 
with patience to some long pent-up explosion of 



THE CHUECHMEN. 219 

wrath, he felt that he had, as it were, got one obstacle 
out of his way ; there was hope of his angry parishioner 
becoming a patient listener in turn. 

And so it generally happened that the next time the 
subject was broached it was received more favourably. 
A third conversation led to more definite results, and 
when at last, two or three sturdy opponents had been 
won over, people began to find out that the demoli- 
tion of pews would not necessarily involve an abolition 
of the rights of property, or the overthrow of Church 
and State ; all animosity gradually died away, and 
before the next Vestry meeting assembled, it was 
generally known that the only determined opponents 
whom neither Mr. Till's kindness, nor his discretion, 
nor his arguments, could conciliate, or win over, were 
a drunken overseer who never came to church, and 
a maiden lady on the shady side of fifty, who, having 
been brought up among dissenters, very naturally 
loved her pew as being of presbyterian origin, and 
as presenting to her mind a comfortable kind of link 
between the Church and the Conventicle. 

It is needless to say, that under such circum- 
stances, the work of restoration was speedily com- 



220 MILFOBD MALVOISHC. 

menced, and proceeded without interruption ; and so 
evident was the improvement produced by getting 
rid of the pews, that many of those who had most 
vehemently opposed the change, and who even now 
had no interest in the work as a matter of taste, were 
heard to wonder how anybody could sit in a pew, 
when an open sitting could be had. 

After Mr. Till himself, Sir Peter Pinfold was pro- 
bably the most diligent inspector of the progress 
of the carpenters and masons at Milford Malvoisin, 
and so regularly and continually was he at his post, 
that he might have been mistaken for Mr. Waynflete's 
clerk of the works. The repairs, however, com- 
mencing at the West-end, it was some time before 
it became necessary to pull down the Grange Pew ; 
so Sir Peter had the satisfaction of seeing the area of 
the nave gradually cleared, till nothing was left to 
obstruct the view of the Altar, but Mr. Blote's spa- 
cious inclosure. 

" Now then," cried the Baronet, as he saw the 
workmen approaching to demolish it, " now then we 
shall soon see daylight," and with that he sent his 
foot against one of the old panels with so much vehe- 




' Churches a tht> weit, and as thiy will br. 



THE CHUKCHMEN. 221 

mence, that he stove in no inconsiderable portion of 
the rickety frame-work. Having thus set the ex- 
ample, he turned on his heel, and proceeded to the 
tower, to watch from thence the effect of the removal 
of his pew, but as he had to make his way over 
broken benches and other obstacles, the carpenters, 
who were in high glee at the late vigorous demon- 
stration, contrived to make such short work, that 
when he turned round, the object which had so long 
disfigured the church was gone, the fair proportions 
and design of the Sacred edifice were no longer 
obscured, and the eye glanced from end to end 
through a perspective as beautiful as it was uninter- 
rupted. 

" So perish every pew, in every church, through- 
out the country !" exclaimed Sir Peter, as he turned 
to Mr. Till who was standing at his side. " Per- 
verted taste, perverted feeling, perverted principles 
have reared them, and we have borne with them so 
long, only because habit had accustomed us to the 
abomination ! Surely, surely, Mr. Till, when a few 
churches in every County shall have been restored 
to their pristine state, we may hope that people's eyes 



222 MILFOBD MALVOISIN. 

will be opened, and they will see the error of which 
they have been guilty." 

" They need not wait for so slow a process, Sir 
Peter," replied the Rector, "if they will only turn 
to their Bibles, they will find that the case of pew- 
holders has been already anticipated and condemned, 
and if they wish to save themselves and their neigh- 
bours from the fate of those who despise " Christ's 
little ones," they will read with awe, the Apostolic 
warning, and act upon it promptly and decidedly. 
* My brethren,' saith St. James,* ' have not the faith 
of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with 
respect of persons. FOB IF TUEEE COME INTO YOUB 

ASSEMBLY A MAN WITH A GOLD BING, IN GOODLY APPA- 
REL, AND THEBE COME IN ALSO A POOB MAN IN VILE 
BAIMENT; AND YE HAVE BESPECT TO HIM THAT WEAB- 
ETH THE GAY CLOTHING, AND SAY UNTO HIM, SlT THOTJ 
HEBE IN A GOOD PLACE : AND SAY TO THE POOB, STAND 
THOU THEBE, OB SIT HEBE UNDEB MY FOOTSTOOL : ABE 
YE NOT THEN PABTIAL IN YOUBSELVES, AND ABE BECOME 

JUDGES OF EVIL THOUGHTS ? Hearken, my beloved 

brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world, 

James ii. 16. 



THE CHURCHMEN. 223 

rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which he hath 
promised to them that love him? BUT YE HAVE 
DESPISED THE POOR !' " 



THE END. 




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Joseph Mede on Sacrilege. 

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Jones (of Nayland) on the Church. 

Life of the Rev. John Bold. 

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15 



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