More Rutland Barrington

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More Rutland Barrington

RUTLAND BARRINGTON

More
Rutland Barrington

By

Himself

Illustrated

London

Grant Richards Ltd.
1911

\ \

fRINTED IT THE RIVBRSIDK PRESS UNITED
EDINBURGH

Preface

IT appears to be the custom for all writers of such
nondescript matter as " recollections " and " re-
miniscences" of a personal character to apologise
to the public for inflicting on it a volume which it
is quite within the bounds of possibility may have
been anticipated with a certain amount of eagerness
and received with the same ratio of pleasure.

If this apology is imperative in the case of a " first
offence," what the mode of procedure in the event
of a second production may be I have no opportunity
of knowing, this being the first time I have projected
a second volume ; possibly it may take the form of
a modest allusion to the necessity for the second
volume being pointed out by the publisher as a
natural sequence to the reception of the first.

Be this as it may, however, in offering my second
venture to the attention of a discriminating public,
I fail to see the need of any apology, and this for
several reasons ; firstly, that (with the exceptions of
myself and the publisher's reader) no one is obliged
to read the book ; secondly, that the congratulatory,
and therefore marvellously correct, treatment the
first volume received at the hands of my friends
the reviewers is a distinct invitation to afford them
another opportunity of demonstrating their unswerv-

PREFACE

ing attitude of kindliness ; and thirdly because, while
I have met many friends and acquaintances who were
good enough to express the pleasure afforded them
by my first volume, I have met a far more numerous
contingent of both who were quite unaware that I
had " done a book " at all !

This last reason appears to me to contain, as they
say a woman's postscript so often does, the gist of the
whole matter, and therefore might well have been
written first, but I will let the others stand, and
content myself with pointing out as my " lastly " the
very obvious conclusion that the issuing of a second
volume will call a renewed attention to the first,
a point which, in the properly balanced authorial
mind, bears no commercial significance whatever,
being simply the outcome of a desire that no one
should miss what they might find enjoyable.

During an interval at one of the strenuous
rehearsals of TJie Girl in the Train I was chatting
with an old friend and well-known playwright, and
the talk turned on the subject of my book, which he
was kind enough to say he had read with great
pleasure — but (it is nearly always present, that " but,"
I find) he hardly thought it wise for an actor to
" reminisce " unless he were on the point of retiring
or, better still, had done so, and when I confessed
my intention of starting a second volume he firmly
declared that I had no right to do that " unless I was
dead"!

This is a line of reasoning that 1 find myself quite
unable to follow, and having been guilty of the first

'

PREFACE

offence, and not, as yet, feeling even moribund, it is
my grim determination to commit the second. I
have seen and done so much since writing the word
"Finis" to my first book (now I come to think
of it I do not believe it is there) that I am inspired
to hope that some at least of my many experiences
may be found of passing interest to those fortunate
enough to read them.

With this hope looming large I then venture upon
my second attempt to amuse without instructing, and
if I should achieve but a modicum of success in the
former motive it will more than counterbalance the
distress I shall feel if my efforts were, quite unin-
tentionally, to stray in the direction of the latter !

THE AUTHOR.

The author it indebted to Messrs Maull
tfc Fox, Messrs Ellis & Walery, Messrs
Bulix <£• Son, The Dover Street Studios,
ami Messrs Foulsham A: Banfeldfor their
kindness in permitting the reproduction
of tome of the photographs in the book.

Contents

CHAPTER PAG«

I. MORE SAVOY REVIVALS— "MIKADO" — "PINAFORE" 15

II. THE ENCORE : ITS USE AND ABUSE — OVERWHELMING

ORCHESTRAS . . . . .24

III. "IOLANTHE" — "PIRATES OF PENZANCE" . .32

IV. A NEW PART — "GONDOLIERS" — A BIRTHDAY . 41
V. " GONDOLIERS " — FOOTBALL — " YEOMEN OF THE

GUARD" ...... 52

VI. "ORANGE BLOSSOMS" — "DINNER FOR Two" —

"FALLEN FAIRIES" . . . .62

VII. THE CRITICS— THE CRITICISMS — THE CRITICISED . 75

VIII. ON TOUR WITH "THE WALLS OF JERICHO" — A

WORD ON AUCTION BRIDGE . . .89

IX. TOURING — "A MEMBER OF TATTERSALLS" — FLYING

MATINEES — RINKING . . . .99

X. SWINDON AND HUNTING TORQUAY AND ONIONS —

PAIGNTON AND "PIRATES" . . .113

XI. MARKETING — RUGGER — " FAITHFUL JAMES " —

BURNLEY . . . . .125

XII. CAMBRIDGE " RAGGING "—CIRCUITOUS ROUTE MARCH-
ING— IRELAND . . . . 13?

n

CONTENTS

CHAFTKR PACK

XIII. BELFAST — PERTH — A PERTHSHIRE IDYLL . .151

XIV. SUNDAY BATHING — POINTS OF VIEW re HEROES —

THE " STAR " IN EACH ACT — MAGNANIMITY OF
PLUMMER — GOLFERS' EXCUSES — PYJAMAS —
"THE JUDGE AND THE LADY" — THE QUORN
HUNT MEETING . . . . .164

XV. HALIFAX — FALSE ECONOMY — HULL . .178

XVI. UNDERSTUDIES AND ASPIRANTS . . . 188

XVII. AUTHORS AND ALTERATIONS . . .197

XVIII. " THE CHOCOLATE SOLDIER " — " BARON TRENCK " 209

XIX. GERMAN INVASION — "THE GIRL IN THE TRAIN"

— WALTZES — FOREIGN COMPETITION . . 219

12

List of Illustrations

RUTLAND BARRINGTON .... Frontispiece
CARL HENTSCHEL, PRESIDENT O. P. CLUB To face page 30

HENRY LYTTON IN " THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE " „ „ 36
MRS D'OYLY CARTE AND MYSELF . . . „ „ 60

ERNEST BENDALL . . . . ,, ,, 76

ETHEL IRVING . . . . . „ „ 82

IN "A MEMBER OF TATTERSALLS" . „ „ 102

His GRACE THE DUKE OF BEAUFORT . .,,,,116

THE BIJOU THEATRE, PAIGNTON . . ,, ,,122

As "PERKS" IN "A MEMBER OF TATTERSALLS". „ „ 142
CHARLES HAWTREY . . . . . „ „ 172

STAGE-MANAGING THE BIRDS IN MY GARDEN . „ „ 204
HUNTLEY WRIGHT . . . . „ ,> 222

As LUCAS VAN TROMP IN "THE GIRL IN THE TRAIN " „ „ 226
H. B. IRVING . . . . • » » 232

CHAPTER I

MORE SAVOY REVIVALS — " MIKADO " — "PINAFORE"

A VERY memorable night to me was the 28th April
1908, when Mrs D'Oyly Carte initiated a further
series of Savoy revivals, commencing with the ever-
green and ever-popular Mikado, followed at certain
intervals by Pinafore, lolanthe, Pirates of Penzance,
Gondoliers and Yeomen of the Guard.

The idea on this occasion was to form a repertory
very much on the lines of the enormously successful
touring company which has been a household word
in the provinces since the seventies, and which main-
tains its popularity and " drawing " power to the
present day.

Whether this lengthy association with one form of
art makes for the progress of the individual in his or
her profession is a question which I do not remember
to have seen argued, but my personal opinion on
the matter is, that it is unavoidable that the talent of
the artist must become cramped and, to some extent,
mechanical. An odd confirmation of this, although,
perhaps, hardly coming under the category of
" mechanical art," recurs to me in connection with
the original performances of Sorcerer and Pinafore.
I had evolved a species of attitude of the legs which
seemed to me to lend clerical character to the Vicar,

MORE RUTLAND HARRINGTON

and the habit remained with me during the earlier
part of the run of Pinafore, thus perhaps giving the
suggestion of a clerical captain in the navy ; at any-
rate it struck one of the eminent critics of the day,
who took me severely to task on the matter.

My views, however, have received confirmation in
more than one quarter, of which, perhaps, the most
striking was the admission once made to me by a
long-standing member of the D'Oyly Carte Touring
Company that he has, on occasions, when arriving at
the theatre, found himself quite unable to remember
a word of the part he was expected to play, and so
quietly returned to his rooms, leaving his task to an
understudy, who may possibly have suffered from the
same momentary forgetfulness, for the reason that
he had not been called upon for a long period.
Whatever may be the truth of the matter, my own
experience is that a prolonged playing of one partic-
ular r6lc induces a sufficiently mechanical performance
to allow of the consideration, during an act, of any
exciting incident of the past few hours, occasionally,
indeed, becoming so absorbing as to bring about the
horrible experience of not knowing what the next
line is!

I have myself, on occasions, replayed in memory
certain triumphant or disastrous holes on the golf
links, and once in particular the reflection of a faulty
brassy shot that had cost me the match, together
with a certain amount of what golfers describe as
" London money," produced a feeling of annoyance
and irritation so diametrically opposed to the benevo-

16

A NEW "PINAFORE"

lent scene I was depicting as to very nearly result in
disaster.

Obviously this danger is considerably lessened when
playing five or six different operas a week, as the
attention must be concentrated on the work in hand
in such a case ; but curious results may even then
occur should an artist have played more than one
of the parts in the same opera ; more especially, of
course, when the different characters played have met
in the same scenes. This was amusingly illustrated
one night, during the last revival of Mikado, by
Henry Lytton, who had times out of number played
Koko and was then playing the Mikado ; Workman
was taken seriously ill, and Mrs Carte requested
Lytton, as a personal favour to her, to take up the
part of Koko for a few nights, which he naturally did,
and, to the great delight of the Pish Tush and Pooh
Bah, spoke one of the Mikado's lines to Koko, and
answered it as Koko in due course. The hilarity
caused by such a trifling slip — and whatever the
theatre or play it is always the same — is chiefly due, I
fancy, to the obligation not to laugh when on duty, a
form of self-restraint which is most difficult to practise,
as I believe anyone will admit who has suffered the
like provocation in church.

H.M.S. Pinafore was once more put into com-
mission on 25th July, and started on a pleasant little
cruise extending to January of the following year —
with occasional spells in harbour, when the officers and
crew were granted short leave to enable them to appear
in other operas. Lytton gave us another proof of his
B 17

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

versatility by playing the deformed Dick Deadeye in
a manner which I have never seen excelled by any
exponent of the part ; he put into it a pathetic touch
which gave an added value to several of the situations.
He also very kindly deputised for Workman in this
play, but his reading of Sir Joseph was too full of a
delightful upstart dignity to allow of any amusing little
contretemps such as he furnished us with in Mikado.
Sir William expressed great dissatisfaction at the
dress-rehearsal with the costumes of the ladies of
the chorus, which were certainly not made by Paquin,
but were, or so I ventured to think, adequate if not
imposing. The lavish manner in which money was
spent on all the original productions of these operas
cannot well be maintained when it is a question of
revivals for short runs, though it is easy to under-
stand that this line of argument scarcely appeals to
an author, whoever he may be, whose natural desire
is to see his play have the best possible exploitation.
I ventured to advance this theory to Gilbert later
on, when he was suggesting the possibility of a
syndicate being formed to revive certain of the
operas on the original basis of unstinted production,
giving it as my opinion that it would not prove a
commercial success, but he was firmly convinced
that my judgment was in error, did not hesitate to
say so — naturally — and left me quite convinced that
I was right. With the exception of such a hardy
annual as Peter Pan, I fancy no revival of anything
would be a commercial success were more than about
half the original cost of production spent upon it, a

18

WHITE WAISTCOATS

fact which no one is better qualified to speak to than
Mrs Carte, who could also doubtless produce figures
to prove the argument.

Also, in the matter of criticising costumes the
appointment of a judge would be a difficult matter,
for at a later revival Gilbert expressed his entire
approval of some dresses which I overheard a lady
present describe as " worse than Pinafore \ "

I had great doubts as to my figure being slim
enough to admit of my wearing the dinner-dress
in Act 2, which includes a white waistcoat ; however,
adherence to tradition being one of my characteristics,
I ran the risk of being told I was growing portly
and donned the regulation vest. Naturally I was told
so, told by the press and the photographers — the
latter being possibly the more convincing, for a very
obvious reason ; indeed I felt impelled, by considera-
tion for my personal feelings, to "condemn" one proof,
that of a group of myself and waistcoat taken in
profile ! However a neighbour of mine brought me
great consolation as the outcome of a visit paid to the
theatre in company with an old lady who had seen all
the original productions. On my appearance she re-
marked : "That's not the old original Rutland Barring-
ton ? " My friend being very much interested in the
play and, as he put it, not wanting an argument,
answered: "No, it's his son." To which his old
lady with a smile of triumph replied : " I knew it ! "
Someone was wrong somewhere, as I find one critic
remarking that — " his increasing years certainly add
dignity to a dignified role, but have one disadvantage :

'9

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

by no possible means can one imagine him to be the
foster-brother of the youthful Rackstraw." At first
sight this appears to be sound reasoning, but the
writer seems to overlook the fact that in the original
production, when I was young enough to be the
foster-brother of George Power (the then Rackstraw),
I was even then sufficiently old to own a daughter
of marriageable age ! After all, what has age or
any such trifling inaccuracy to do with Gilbert if he
chooses to ignore the existence of such a thing.

The frequenters of the pit and gallery at the Savoy
have an intimate acquaintance with the words and
music of all these operas, which is strongly in evidence
on the different premieres, with very happy results,
all the concerted numbers being given during the
time of waiting for the commencement of the play—
with the sole exception of those contained in the
opera about to be presented. This is a very striking
proof of loyalty to Sullivan, and always appears to be
appreciated by the rest of the audience, but these
same enthusiasts have been the cause of not a little
trouble and friction owing to their desire and
determination to have all their favourite numbers
repeated at least once.

Many patrons of the stalls and boxes do not ardently
desire to hear the same opera practically twice in one
evening — the result being that about this period
Mrs Carte was inundated with remonstrances from
them at the frequency with which encores were taken,
these remonstrances being the evident sequel of some
rather stormy scenes between the occupants of stalls

MRS CARTE'S IMPERIAL DECREES

and balconies and pit and gallery, each demonstrating
that they intended to have things their way.

These scenes, which at first were conducted with
a certain amount of good humour on both sides,
eventually developed a feeling of rancour which
became so pronounced that it was felt imperative that
something must be done.

Mrs Carte, whose constant endeavour it is to satisfy
all her patrons in every possible way, and whose con-
sideration for her artists is too well known to need
referring to, having carefully thought over the matter,
issued an edict that no encores beyond those decided
upon by herself were to be taken under any circum-
stances, tradition being once again employed as the
method of selection, and its value as applied to art
(in the shape of encores at least) being once more
shown to be an "unknown quantity," for such a
decree was obviously more easy to pronounce than
to enforce, and one evening, shortly afterwards, a
certain encore was conceded after a quite lengthy
stoppage of the play, Cellier being on the horns
of a dilemma between the insistent demand of an
audience which for once appeared unanimous in
desire, and the very definite instructions he had
received from his employer. This was no enviable
situation for one with the inbred awe of "the
management" which seems to have impregnated all
who served under its banner, from time immemorial
(tradition again), and his misgivings were realised,
for, forced to concede the encore, he was promptly
carpeted for not riding to orders.

21

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

With Mrs Carte's invariable sweetness of temper,
consideration and keen sense of justice the "carpeting"
partook more of the nature of a friendly council of
war, at which she proposed to take the onus entirely
on her own shoulders, and, with this intention,
seriously contemplated announcing, through the
medium of the Press, the stern decree that for the
future there would be no encores at the Savoy.

She relinquished this idea on consideration, how-
ever, and the trouble righted itself in some way of
its own without any further discussion, possibly the
encorists became less demonstrative, or the artists
less deserving.

Tradition was of course responsible for the whole
affair, the entire Gilbert and Sullivan menage — if one
may use the word in this connection — from author,
through manager, down to call-boy, being convinced
that encores obtained in 1878 should be rigidly en-
forced in 1908, and any secured outside the recognised
sequence to be regarded almost as a breach of con-
fidence on the part of the artist — and, as such, to be
dealt with in a peremptory manner.

Oddly enough, a striking illustration of the mis-
apprehension on the part of a member of the audience
as to the person responsible for taking an encore was
furnished for me immediately after I had written
the foregoing paragraph, in this way. I had just
been reading the criticisms of The Girl in the Tram,
and amongst others I found Mr Westminster Gazette
saying, with reference to a quintette and dance in
which I was concerned — "which made one of the

22

ENCORE RESPONSIBILITIES

hits of the evening — largely, it may be added, in
consequence of the efforts of Mr Barrington himself.
The house was especially tickled when, seeing how
well it had gone, Mr Barrington, entirely ignoring
the conductor, insisted on repeating it."

Evidently Mr Westminster Gazette entirely failed
to notice that, during the applause following the first
performance of the number, the conductor performed
the usual ceremony of tapping the desk, as a signal
that we might do it again. I would not for any con-
sideration take on my shoulders the onus of accepting
an encore for four confreres, including Phyllis Dare
and Huntley Wright, each of whom had worked
quite as hard as I had done in the number in question,
and each of whom has as definite a sense of their
own privileges in such a manner as I have ; the fact
of my appearing to accept the compliment on behalf
of the quintette arising solely from the necessity of
my being left alone on the stage at the conclusion
of the dance.

CHAPTER II

THE ENCORE : ITS USE AND ABUSE — OVERWHELMING

ORCHESTRAS

THE subject of "encores" in connection wich the
question of "to be or not to be " has always held
a great fascination for me, and I have frequently
thought that it might prove amusing, and perhaps
illuminating, if a plebiscite could be taken of the
wishes, for and against, of theatre and concert
goers.

With the subject constantly fermenting, as it were,
in my brain it came to me as an agreeable surprise that
I should be asked to read a paper on the matter to
the members of the O. P. Club in January 1909, and
it was with no little gratification that I seized upon
the chance of airing my own views on a much-
discussed question.

Having a very keen sense of the position held by
the members of this old - established and popular
circle in relation to music and the drama, I felt it
incumbent that I should not go into battle without
some survey of the ground, and with that object in
view I devoted myself, for a few weeks previous to
the occasion, to obtaining some idea of the attitude
of the general public towards encores, by means of
questioning all and sundry whom I met possessed of

24

THE ENCORE : ITS USE AND ABUSE

the necessary time, inclination and patience to afford
me replies.

The answers I received, had they been rendered
in the form of a " show of hands," would have been
fairly level, but many of the added remarks were
extremely interesting, amongst which was one which
impressed me as being a view of the situation which
presented itself to few. It was made by a lady, who
objected to encores on the ground that they must be
an unfair tax on the artist. This opinion I believe
to be shared by the profession at large, although I
fancy that the most hardened cynic would admit that
it is a tax which is greeted with a resignation indicating
great nobility of character, scarcely exceeding that
with which certain other descriptions of taxes are met.

It is perfectly obvious that we have, at least
partially, reconstructed the meaning of "encore,"
in the case of singers we most certainly have, for
whereas it formerly meant "sing it again," the
modern definition of the compliment is usually " sing
something else," and, with a special reservation in the
case of some songs, " the same tune if you like, but
other words." This perversion of an antique meaning
may perhaps have come about through the prolific
tendencies of modern lyricists, who have more to say
than they can possibly put into two or three verses,
and wish their hearers to suppose that the verses
increase in interest in the same ratio as they do in
number. This explanation has forced itself on my
attention on many occasions when, as a member
of the audience, I have found the demand for an

25

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

encore so insistent as to leave the public no option in
the matter.

There is little doubt that many artists, while
detesting encores, at the same time feel a keen sense
of disappointment if they are not forthcoming ; this
apparent paradox may in many cases be explained
by the fact that so many managers measure the
success of a song or number by its encore-securing
qualities, this test of discrimination has even, within
my experience, led to the suppression or elimination
of items of a tender or emotional character which
could only be received with an appreciative silence
which is sometimes accompanied by that little sigh of
pleasure which is infinitely more grateful to the true
artist than would be a noisy demonstration of approval.

We do not less enjoy, or are less impressed by, the
Hallelujah Chorus because of the customary silence
which ensues, though this is perhaps hardly a fair
example to quote, all oratorios being received in the
same manner.

That a genuine encore is a genuine compliment
I presume few would question, but to determine the
proportion of credit due to the earner of the reward
is a somewhat difficult proposition. The author of
the lyric, the composer and the artist who renders
the song have each a claim, and possibly the last-
named of the triumvirate could offer an immediate
solution, but it does not follow that it must perforce
be the correct one.

Equally obvious is the fact that a genuine encore
has all the effect of a powerful stimulant to the artist,

26

THE ENCORE : ITS USE AND ABUSE

and, happily, none of the resultant depression of an
overdose of the real article, and, if for this reason
alone, is a very desirable thing, from the point of view
of the public, as an incitement to further flights of
energy, for their behoof, on the part of the recipient.

There are those who maintain that without encores
the public would not consider that it had received
its money's worth, but this, on the face of it, is bad
reasoning ; the audience pays to hear a play once on
an evening, and with the ever-present British sense
of justice would never dream of demanding more
than it was entitled to : to my mind a certain in-
dication that the encore is one of the many charming
and spontaneous expressions of pleasure and good will
which it delights in showering on its favourites.

I have often heard the question raised : Who is
the proper person to accept an encore? — and here
again I find great diversity of opinion. In my own
humble opinion the responsibility rests, in the case
of a solo, entirely with the artist concerned, and, in
the case of a concerted number, with the musical
director. This opinion was stoutly combated by the
director of one theatre in which I was engaged, who
claimed the right of decision in all cases, and who,
I believe, was scarcely convinced that he was in error
even after I had pointed out the fact that it was in
the power of the artist, on an encore being accepted
on his or her behalf, to which for some reason he or
she felt a disinclination to accede, to make a quiet
e xit and leave the musical director to find a way out
of the impasse ! I am pleased to record the fact

27

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

that the matter was never put to the test by myself
in the manner suggested, which I also accept as a
tacit admission of the correctness of my view of the
solo side of the question.

When we take into consideration the fact that
a successful play involves the giving of at least one
matine'e per week, at which, in spite of a rather wide-
spread belief to the contrary, the majority of artists
concerned are conscientious enough to "put in all
they know," as much as at an evening performance,
it becomes obvious that the strain is doubled, and
does indeed become something of a tax on human
resources, to such an extent, in some cases, as to lead
to a song being " cut," which is perhaps the reason of
the aforesaid belief, but the cavillers do not always
reflect that they would sooner have the artist minus
a song, than the play minus the artist.

Among the remarks made to me on the subject, by
sundry friends whose opinions I requested, was the
very pertinent one, a side issue possibly, now fre-
quently expressed : " Why is the orchestra allowed
to be so overwhelming?" This led to the opening
of a new field of questions on my part, during which
I arrived at the conclusion that audience and artists
alike share the grievance of the strenuousness of
many of the modern orchestral accompaniments, in
some cases amounting to a battle, in which the over-
whelming odds must end in a defeat of the artist.

The orchestra is afforded its opportunity in over-
ture and entr'actes, and, in accordance with the opinion
of artist and audience alike, should, for the remainder

28

OVERWHELMING ORCHESTRAS

of the time, act as a lifebuoy of support to the
singers, and not a foaming wave of melody beneath
whose resistless force they must inevitably drown.

I do not for a moment wish it thought that, in
writing on this matter, I am accusing any particular
musical director, my own theory being that, with few
exceptions, they are all addicted to the possibly
natural idea that their musicians' contribution to the
entertainment is the paramount consideration, and
if honestly convinced of this they are but laudably
fulfilling their contract — but other people may hold
different views, and be equally convinced of their cor-
rectness without the opportunity of expressing them.

The musical director is the master of the situation,
and in him alone is vested the power to decide
whether the artist or the orchestra shall be most in
evidence ; that it most certainly does not rest with
the members of the orchestra themselves was made
perfectly clear to me when conversing on the subject
with some of my orchestral friends, who informed me
that, owing to the propinquity of other instruments,
they can only be aware of the strength of tone they
are giving by a signal from the director to increase
or modify it.

I am bound to admit that, of late, I have noticed
at several theatres a greater consideration than
obtained formerly in this respect, resulting in a
marked increase, at all events in my own case, of the
pleasure with which audiences listen to musical plays.

When I ventured on embodying some of these
remarks in the paper to which I alluded at the

29

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

commencement of this chapter, I was intent on airing
a grievance which, I had satisfied myself, was shared
by countless patrons of the theatre, not to mention
countless artists, and which I hoped might be venti-
lated without rancour, but the remarks then aroused
something in the nature of a storm in a teacup — one
journal describing the incident as " an attack on the
orchestra," which it most certainly was not, nor was
it intended to be, it was simply a plea for the modifi-
cation of the prominence given to one feature of
what is undoubtedly intended to be a harmonious
whole, and if I have in any way been instrumental
in wounding the feelings, in ever so slight a degree, of
my friends the instrumentalists, I here and now beg
of them to forgive me as freely I forgive them, which
should be an easy task, as I have never succeeded in
partially drowning the orchestra, in spite of many
gallant efforts in the piano passages.

Another journalist immediately " interviewed " my
old friend Fra^ois Cellier on the subject, jumping to
an erroneous conclusion that my remarks were
levelled at him, and while making merry, in a mild
way, at my expense he, very naturally and properly,
disclaimed the slightest possibility of blame attaching
to himself or his famous Savoy orchestra, but he
might not perhaps have been quite so satisfied on the
point had he overheard a remark made to me a day
or two later by another "late" Savoyard (and a
really eminent singer) to this effect — " Oh, Barry—
how I have suffered sometimes from the loudness
of the accompaniments 1 "

30

PRESIDENT O. P. CLUB

OVERWHELMING ORCHESTRAS

The best of us are not infallible, but I do not think
we have an English conductor with so distorted a
view of his duties as a certain well-known German
director who was rehearsing his play, and at one point
shouted from the stalls : " Lauter ! lauter ! — I can
still hear a voice 1 "

Whatever the general opinion may be on the
subject treated in this chapter I certainly appeared to
have the sympathy of the members of the O. P. Club
on the evening in question, with the exception,
perhaps, of one speaker, in the short debate which
followed, and who was good enough to say that,
although 1 had interested and amused him, he did
not consider that I had thrown a particularly
illuminating light on the matter, a blow to my feeling
of self-satisfaction which was softened by the humor-
ous twinkle in his eye and fully restored by the
hospitality of my host and old friend, Carl Hentschel,
the president of the club, as exhibited in the East
Room.

I must confess that since then I have not noticed
any appreciable falling off in the encores I secure,
nor have I been overwhelmed with evidence of an
orchestral desire to profit by a well-intentioned hint.

CHAPTER III

"IOLANTHE" — "PIRATES OF PENZANCE"

I REMEMBER being very strongly impressed with the
music of lolantfie at the first band rehearsal for
this revival, but at the same time could not rid
myself of the feeling that the opera as a whole was
far from being one of the strongest of the series.

My own particular share in it being rather un-
important may unconsciously have suggested this
idea, Lord Tolloller being practically a kind of
leader of the chorus, his only chance of distinction
coming with the song in Act 2 — " In Good King
George's Glorious Days " ; his twin part, Mount
Ararat, not being very much more prominent, but
then he was a tenor, whereas I was a comedian, or
so considered myself, and rather wasted on a " walk-
ing gentleman " type of part.

My conviction as to its slightness was borne out
to the extent of our commencing rehearsals for the
Pirates of Penzance very shortly after its production.

In my very natural wish to get a little more out
of the part than I formerly had, it occurred to me
to use a different make-up and manner, so I ventured,
"for this occasion only," to suggest to Gilbert that
I should represent him as a kind of brainless person
with reddish hair — parted in the centre and smoothed

A NATIONAL INSTITUTION

down on either side ; this suggestion, being made to
Gilbert by letter, brought me one of his characteristic
replies to add to my archives, conveying his consent
subject to the wig not being "scarlet" and the
absence of brain not " too conspicuous." I naturally
modified both items — if one may speak of modifying
the absence of a thing — and the result undoubtedly
contributed a little something of prominence, to judge
from one criticism, which alluded to my performance
as " richly Barringtonian, possessing all the bouquet
of fine old fruity port ! "

It was in noticing this opera that another journal
alluded to me as " a National Institution," and I am
still in doubt whether this referred to myself or the
species of invertebrate nobleman I was endeavouring
to depict ; but both references are distinct compli-
ments, as to be hailed as an institution of a national
character must be pleasing to any right-minded
Englishman, while the " bouquet " indicated by the
former writer can only be ascribed to my subtle sense
of delineation, port being a beverage denied me, and
also one for which I have no particular desire.

In criticising Pinafore a very well-known journalist
refers to the " delicious humour of the recitatives,"
and regrets that in his later operas Sullivan should
have "given up this source of innocent merriment."
I fancy he must have also had The Sorcerer in his
mind, that opera certainly containing more examples
of this delightful humour on Sullivan's part than
Pinafore, and really, in view of the laughter invariably
excited by these trifling burlesques of the seriousness
c 33

MORE RUTLAND HARRINGTON

of grand opera, the question of their omission is
a difficult one to solve. A simple explanation may
be that Gilbert discontinued writing lines which
could only be dealt with in that manner, but the fact
remains they were dispensed with, and with them
a form of humour always effective.

Would-be imitators of the two great collaborators
have never ventured upon the recitative, as far as my
memory serves me, which may have had as much
to do with their want of success as the reason put
forward by another eminent critic — namely, that
"Gilbert and Sullivan seem to have occupied the
whole territory of satirical Comic Opera."

I confess to a certain doubt as to the application
of the term " satirical " to these operas, with the
exception perhaps of Patience, which was deliberately
aimed at the craze for iestheticism so much in vogue
at the time of its production.

There is no doubt that Gilbert and Sullivan set
a standard which has proved extremely difficult of
attainment by their successors in the form of light
entertainment, but I have always felt it a little hard
that a comparison of methods and skill when dealing
with later aspirants should have been instituted at all.
Is it an impossibility to judge an author or composer
on his own merits without endeavouring to find traces
of an indebtedness to this distinguished couple ?
Surely not — and yet for many years after the last
Gilbert and Sullivan opera was produced there
seemed to obtain a "vogue of comparison," as it
were, among the critics which must have hampered

34

WORKMAN

the aspirants as much as it annoyed them — in truth
this habit has not yet become entirely extinct,
especially among the public, who will still speak of
a certain piece as being "the nearest they have seen"
to Gilbert and Sullivan.

In fairness to these critics it should be admitted
that, in many cases, there has been strong evidence
of an effort to work on the same lines, but without
the brilliant turns and twists of humour in the
celebrated prototypes.

There was a great discussion as to whether the
allusion to Captain Shaw in the Fairy Queen's song
should be allowed to stand, in view of the death of
the gallant chief of the fire brigade since the opera
was last seen. It was generally felt that to alter it
in any way would only make it more noticeable, and
it therefore remained as written, but it struck a note
of pathos which was quite evident.

I think the Lord Chancellor quite the best per-
formance given by Workman in all the series. The
humour of the part was brought out with a somewhat
lighter touch than he used in some of his other parts,
with conspicuous success in the delightful burlesque
of legal arguments with which the part abounds, for
it is an undoubted truth that, to properly declaim
Gilbert's lines, the comedian must never betray his
consciousness of the fact that they are humorous,
a trap that even my dear old friend and colleague
George Grossmith was not invariably able to avoid.

An admirable foil to this lighter touch was pro-
vided by Workman in the pathetic little scene at the

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MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

close of Act 2, where lolanthe appeals to him for
her son, in which he was of great assistance to Jessie
Rose by his sympathetic attitude in listening, and
final encouragement. One journal in referring to
his performance in very laudatory terms concludes
with the following remark: — "He made even the
orchestra laugh ; no higher tribute to his genius
could be imagined ! "

This is a poor compliment, with a sinister double
edge to it, for it implies a distinct lack of sense of
humour on the part of the orchestra, by the use of
the word "even," and, as every artist on the stage
well knows, the slightest deviation from the usual
order of events or happenings in a play is sufficient
to excite the risibility of the estimable people whose
monotonous fate it is to have to listen nightly to the
same people, making the same remarks, and exploit-
ing the same humorous " business." The same
writer felt himself compelled to fall foul of my
performance on the occasion, by most sympathetically
regretting that " we cannot chronicle an artistic
success as well as a personal triumph for Mr Rutland
Barrington ; he did not fill the part so well as other
members of the same company has filled it" (the
word " has " is his, not mine), " he cannot now — if he
ever could — sing, ' When Britain really ruled the
Waves ' — and worse — he forgot his part."

I sincerely hope that my allusion to this criticism
will not be looked upon as an effort to " get a bit of
my own back," for it is not so intended, as I should
be among the first to recognise the enormity of the

36

HENRY LYTTON
AS THE PIRATE KING IN " THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE :

" PIRATES "

actor sitting in judgment on the critic; it simply
arises from a desire to express my regret at having
so offended his sense of harmony, and to offer him
my hearty congratulations on the evident fact that
he did not hear me " sing " that song in the original
production, when the effect on his possibly over-
sensitive ear might have proved fatal.

lolanthe was followed by the Pirates of Penzance,
which met with a better reception, not only from
the artistic point of view, but the financial as well.
Harry Lytton elaborated the melodramatic side of
the character of the Pirate King to an extent that
pleased Gilbert immensely at rehearsals, and the
audiences even more at nights. He wore what are
commonly known as " lifts " inside his jack-boots to
give him a little extra height and dignity, and in
taking his enormous strides about the stage they
imparted to him a kind of flat-footed walk that was
most effective and funny, especially in the scene
between the King, Ruth and Frederic in Act 2,
which I used to watch almost nightly, for the sake
of the hearty laughs it gave me. I strongly advised
him, when he later on joined the touring company as
principal comedian, to alternate the part of the King
with the Major General, but I believe it was not
found possible.

Many journals alluded to this opera as being in
all probability the last of the series, chiefly owing to
the fact that Mrs Carte was suffering very much in
health, but they reckoned without a full appreciation
of her qualtities as a fighter, and, in spite of several

37

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

enforced absences of days, and even weeks, she con-
tinued to hold the reins of management until the end
of March 1909.

About the same time Rumour was busy — and,
possibly, presumably owing to the same cause — with
the name of Workman as the possible successor in
management at the Savoy, with the intention of
carrying on the series of revivals. It is now a matter
of history that he was the next tenant of the theatre,
but that he discarded (if he ever entertained) the
idea of exploiting further Gilbert and Sullivan operas
in favour of a work by two unknown collaborators,
with, I fear, disastrous consequences. It was not
my fate to see either The Mountaineers or the Two
Merry MonarcJis, both of which operas I heard spoken
of as possessing " a certain amount of good material,
but requiring pulling together by a master hand,"
but I did see the intermediate production, which
was Gilbert's Wicked World transmogrified into an
opera.

With pleasant memories of Mr and Mrs Kendal
in two of the most important parts at the Hay market,
when it was a comedy, I went to see the opera, fully
anticipating a most delightful evening, but I was
doomed to disappointment. In the first place, Work-
men could not efface my memories of Buckstone,
with his oleaginous humour, in the part of the old
servitor, and, in addition, I found both ear and eye
wearied by the unavoidable lack of men's voices and
presence in the songs, concerted numbers and choruses.

The present tendency is, I know, to crowd the

38

FEMININE TENORS AND BASSES

stage with pretty girls in pretty costumes, and keep
mere men somewhat in the background, but this
particular opera was, to my mind, a distinct intimation
that he must be kept so far back as to be totally
invisible, and that as he is the natural support of the
softer sex in real life, so it is equally important that
he should support her (I have my doubts about the
grammar of this sentence, but did not presume to
speak of the fair sex as " it ") in her stage existence.

I was also to a great extent disappointed in the
music, which I do not for a moment doubt or dispute
was as scholarly as any virtuoso could desire, but as
we cannot all be virtuosi I found myself, in common
with others of the audience, I believe, longing for that
" tuney " something which we felt the composer
could give us "an he would." If the truth were
known, I fancy he was also hampered by the lack
of male voices, for I noticed that there were some of
the dainty-looking lady choristers who appeared
to be producing notes "from their sandals," and I
presumed them to be, rightly or wrongly, the missing
tenors and basses.

I wonder what Sullivan would have done in such
a case — whether he would have permitted the author
to include men in his scheme or perhaps have secured
some good-looking beardless youths and disguised
them as girls, which might easily be done by decimat-
ing the ranks of the O.U.D.C. and Cambridge A.D.C.

It has often occurred to me that a vast increase
of enjoyment would accrue to the parents — the male
ones certainly — who take their little ones to the

39

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

pantomimes if the Prince who invariably woos and
wins the heroine were personated by a good-looking
youth instead of the doubtless talented and beautiful
young women known as " Principal Boys," and the
figures of whom, as a rule, offer a very obvious
surmise as to their sex.

The origin of this bouleversement of nature ap-
pears to be lost in the mists of antiquity, but in
these days of reform it seems a pity that some enter-
prising manager does not try the effect of a change,
the spectacle of two girls indulging in endearments
being entirely opposed to all manly ideas as to the
fitness of things, and as unwelcome as the fitness of
some of the things worn by its exponents.

40

CHAPTER IV

A NEW PART — "GONDOLIERS" — A BIRTHDAY

AFTER so many years' association with Savoy Opera,
it was a most refreshing and novel situation in which
I found myself on approaching the revival of The
Gondoliers, the opera which marked my return to
the Savoy fold after my disastrous experience as a
manager in 1888.

My figure having become, as it were, more regal
than of yore naturally suggested the inference, from
a Gilbertian point of view, of its unsuitability for the
part of a King, and I therefore surrendered my original
character of Guiseppe to Harry Lytton, whose regality
is more a figure of speech than one of reality.

I made this act of renunciation with the greatest
of pleasure, having had, from the very first production
of the opera, an intense desire to see what I could do
with Don Alhambra, the Grand Inquisitor, to my
mind quite one of the best character parts which
Gilbert has written, for one reason because he is
consistent throughout and, for another, because he
has two of the best songs ever penned. My wish
was to do away entirely with the " dour " atmosphere
in which it was originally played and make him a
bland, light-hearted old nobleman who practised all
his cruelties with a most engaging and debonair

41

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

personality. At the earlier rehearsals, before the
advent of the Great Man, this new view of the part
thoroughly upset all the tradition-bound members of
the company, and reduced the worthy stage manager
to a state of nervous uncertainty as to whether
I should be executed or he lose his billet. After the
remonstrances his sense of duty impelled him to
make, and which in no way altered my ideas, he
washed his hands of me with the remark, " Well, Sir
William will decide the matter when he comes,"
which Sir William later on did, in my favour, as I
had anticipated, and with some very complimentary
remarks on "the new reading" which I had not
entirely anticipated but was extremely pleased to
hear.

On one of the Mikado nights, about this time,
I heard a laugh that seemed familiar to me coming
from one of the boxes, and a careful side-glance (we
never looked at the audience at the Savoy) confirmed
my suspicions that my old friend George Grossmith
had come to see how his original part of Koko was
being played, and, incidentally, to laugh at his old
friend Pooh Bah if he could. I had not met George
since the publication of my first volume of remini-
scences, when he kindly sent me a telegram of con-
gratulation with the very characteristic conclusion:
" but why seven and six when Ellen Terry, Dan
Leno and George Grossmith are only a bob?" I
wrote and told him that it was the fault of my
publisher, who had refused sternly to consider my
modest request for a sixpenny book, and he forgave

4*

'BEN TROVATO"

me, also by letter, but still expressing disapproval.
He came round to tell me what he thought of my
performance, after the first act, and in discussing my
book told me that I had left out a lot of good things,
a fact of which I was already painfully aware, and
then proceeded to remind me of one of them, which
I had not only forgotten but cannot realise ever
happened. He told me that in a private box, quite
close to the stage, there was a lonely man, one night,
who had lost interest in the opera to such an extent
(possibly because his lady had failed him) as to spend
the entire evening in reading a newspaper; that I
expressed myself as greatly annoyed by this, and
that I had finally gone as near to the box as I could,
and to the great amusement of the audience had
inquired of the lonely non-spectator, "What won
the Lincolnshire Handicap ? " I cannot help thinking
that George's imagination must have been at work,
as I should not only have remembered the incident
but probably also have had cause to do so.

About this period I attended an exhibition of the
then fashionable " Directoire " dresses, which I found
extremely pretty, if somewhat "discovering." The
exhibition in question was held unheralded by any
advertisement at the Savoy Hotel one Sunday night
in the restaurant, where I was bidden to dine with
two charming American ladies and Bertie Sullivan
as our host. We had previously motored down to
Grim's Dyke to lunch at Sir William Gilbert's, and
play croquet, at which Gilbert is quite an expert, and
the contrast between the restful country-house party

43

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

and the babel of the restaurant was very vivid. I
was rather puzzled by a request from the lady whom
I had the pleasure of taking in to dinner, to walk
closely in front of her all through the long approach
to the restaurant ; of course I did so, but could not
restrain my curiosity as to the necessity for this
apparent rudeness on my part, which she kindly
satisfied, when we were seated, by telling me she had
forgotten to change her shoes in the hurry of dressing,
and was wearing black walking boots, which she
feared might be much in evidence owing to the
scantity of gown about her feet.

I had another charming invitation about this time
from two sweet little ladies, Felicity and Ivy Tree,
to the dress rehearsal of Pinkie and the Fairies, a
lovely show, which 1 attended with great pleasure,
only marred by the impossibility of thanking my
young hostesses, who were so occupied with several
teddy-bears in their box as to be oblivious of almost
everything else. Since the days of Water-Babies
at the Garrick I have never seen a more delightful
assembly of delightful children.

There was one little girl in the stalls behind me,
with her mother, whose eyes were fairly dancing with
anticipation of delight to come, and I looked forward
to the pleasure of hearing her laugh ; her mother
gave me the opportunity, by removing her hat and
very carefully pinning it into the back of my stall
with a long hat-pin. I immediately gave a violent
shudder and emitted a piano shriek as if badly
wounded, whereupon the little girl exclaimed in

44

A MAKEUP KISS

a horror-struck voice " Mummie 1 " The mother
leant over and expressed her regret, and of course
I confessed the truth, that I was absolutely untouched,
upon which she remarked : " Oh, well — if you are
a humbug— ' She could get no further, being in-
terrupted with a peal of delighted laughter from the
little one which was good to hear.

On Christmas Eve we played the Pirates of
Penzance and, as a concession to tradition, I made up
for the Sergeant of Police with a red nose, but to my
great disappointment the subtlety of the idea totally
escaped recognition, even on the part of two visitors
I had while making up, and who were lost in ad-
miration at my skill in painting on a pair of black
whiskers, the reason for this being that my face had
become sore from the spirit gum used in fastening
on the genuine article. On one occasion I did this
painting-on with black grease-paint, with disastrous
results to the face of Jessie Rose, who embraces the
Sergeant as a reward for valour ; she eliminated the
caress, much to my regret, after, this blackening of
her fair face.

On Boxing Day I was forcibly reminded of the
extraordinary way in which Fate fails to reward true
unselfishness ; I had intended to go to Kempton
Park Races, but a snowstorm intervening I determined
to travel some little distance to see an invalid brother
and, incidentally, lunch with him ; on arrival I found
he had left home for a week and my sacrifice was in
vain. A hasty return to town and the cheerfulness
of the club was the only remedy, promptly put into

45

MORE RUTLAND HARRINGTON

practice, but the cheerfulness resolved itself into the
presence of one solitary member who had missed
a train going somewhere, and we played the most
depressing game of billiards I ever remember ; the
centre of the depression only moving on the advent
of a man who had been to Kempton and backed
a ten-to-one winner in three runners, which we
suggested must have been brought about by a
"dope," from which we drew a natural inference
to our own advantage in the matter of spirits.

At the first rehearsal of The Gondoliers it was very
odd to watch Harry Lytton rehearsing the part I
originally played, and to add to the quaintness of the
situation the daughter of the original Don Alhambra,
W. H. Denny, who was now in the chorus, I observed
frequently studying me with something of the same
kind of interest that I was manifesting in Lytton.

I have always had a rooted objection to sitting
down and seriously studying my different roles, with
the exception, of course, of any very lengthy speeches
they may contain which make such a course im-
perative. This feeling, or perhaps it may be called
idiosyncrasy, proceeds very much from the fact that
the nature of the different situations, in a well- written
play at least, invariably suggests the lines which
apply to them, but I most cheerfully admit that the
system has its drawbacks, one of them being that
other artists concerned do not always get correct
cues, thereby increasing their difficulties in learning ;
this habit of mine has also afforded Gilbert many
opportunities of letting fly at me one of his good-

46

GAGS

humoured cynical shafts, one of which I received full
in the brain at an early rehearsal of this opera ; I was
concerned in a long scene, all of my part of which
was read to me from the prompt-book (the other
artists being word-perfect), and at the conclusion of
it Gilbert turned to Cellier and remarked, " You know,
we could play this to-night ! " The situation and
joke were highly appreciated by the company at
large, and the nervous stage manager in particular ;
I myself was no more upset by it than was Gilbert,
both of us being well aware that "it would be all
right at night," as it was.

Owing, so I was told, to the manner in which the
part of Guiseppe had been played on the occasion
of some former revival, Gilbert was very firm on the
exclusion of all gags which I had introduced originally,
and which he had himself legalised. This upset Harry
Lytton (the present exponent) most terribly, and he
appealed to me, as the responsible party, to intercede
with Gilbert for their reinstatement, which, I need
hardly say, he was quite as likely to accomplish as
myself; however, I did as he asked me, with the
result that Gilbert kindly sanctioned the use of all
the gags with one exception, and on my reminding
him that he had not formerly made this exception he
gravely stated as his reason for not doing so that
" he was afraid of me 1 "

This remark made me feel for the moment rather
conceited, but on due reflection, combined with an
intimate knowledge of the character of the remarker,
I came to the conclusion that he could not be advanc-

47

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

ing his real reason ; however, I left it at that, and
eventually it was a case of "objection overruled."
Meanwhile, when the interval for lunch arrived,
Gilbert suggested that t should join his party at the
Savoy, which I was naturally very pleased to do,
hoping to hear more on the subject ; but on arriving
there I found he had gone to lunch elsewhere,
leaving Lady Gilbert and four other ladies in my
charge, as it was their intention to return for the
second rehearsal. The feast was of necessity a short
and light one, in view of the work to follow, and
though I was for a moment dismayed to find they
were all "on the water waggon," I was soon con-
soled, on joining the temperance league, by finding
that I had achieved an utterly undeserved reputation
for Moderation in the face of duty.

The fifteenth of January, which fell in this week,
brought me a most memorable and exciting experi-
ence. It happens to be my birthday, as many
hundreds of my self-styled " admirers," in whose
birthday-books I have written my name, have
systematically forgotten. This particular birthday,
however, was remarkable for the fact that, on the
same night, thirty years before, I had appeared as
the captain of the Pinafore, and in the rotation of
revivals it chanced to be the opera selected for 15th
January 1909. How the coincidence leaked out is
difficult to determine, but I cannot help surmising
that 1 must have unconsciously mentioned it to some
friendly journalist — and indeed the majority of them
are quite friendly when not in search of " copy " —for

48

BIRTHDAY 'WIRES"

there was a " preliminary par " on the subject in The
Telegraph, which gave rise to quite a little excite-
ment; other papers alluded to "this interesting
coincidence," and for some three or four evenings I
was persistently pursued by interviewers, and finally
bearded in my dressing-room by a flashlight photo-
grapher, who scoffed at my idea of a royalty on the
picture, as indeed I find they always have done in
my case.

This particular portrait, however, was never pub-
lished, so I was not much out of pocket by his
refusal, which, however, may have been the cause
of its failure to prove attractive, as I had doubtless
assumed a disappointed expression.

I have so frequently been rendered envious by the
reports of the huge sums annually raked in by certain
stage beauties as the result of the sale of their photo-
graphs that it has bred an intense desire to make my
own face pay its way, as it were, but up to the present
day the result has only taken the form of a firm
conviction that my face is not my fortune ; can it
be that these sums have been visionary, or perhaps
exaggerated ?

The congratulatory telegrams I received on " the "
evening were a most pleasant reminder of the
friendly feelings entertained for me, not only by
personal friends, but from many who were only
" friends in front," and I thoroughly enjoyed myself
during the performance, and almost persuaded myself
that it was impossible that thirty years could have
slipped away, between the two evenings.
D 49

I finished the celebration with a small supper-party
at the Savoy, where I met with the only check to
the gaiety of the occasion ; not wishing to let my
guests see how much they had cost me, I did as one
frequently does in such cases : wrote my name across
the account and gave it back to the head waiter, who
returned in a few minutes with the request that
I would " put my address as well " ! This is fame 1

I am naturally not so inexperienced in the ways
of finance as to be unaware of there being another
and less tactful reason for the non-immediate settle-
ment of restaurant accounts, my knowledge even
extending to an occasional personal application of
such reason, but in this particular instance my motive
was that which I have mentioned, and I added the
address, " Savoy Theatre," with a species of humbly
defiant manner, which I fancied would produce an
apology, but which entirely failed in its effect.

The birthday merriment had not entirely evaporated
by the time for the Saturday matine'e of Mikado., and
it was one of the most delightful I ever remember,
the house being literally crowded with children, whose
laughter was something to live for. It was a great
incentive to be, if possible, more funny than ever,
especially in the scene where Pitt, Sing, Koko and
Pooh Bah grovel before the Mikado, and the little
shrieks of mirth which followed my elephantine
antics were ample reward for being a trifle inartistic.

The stage manager remarked, as we made our exit,
"Pantomime?" to which I replied, "Yes, for the
children of course," but it was abundantly evident

5°

PLAYS FOR CHILDREN

that their grown-up escorts enjoyed the fooling quite
as much as their little charges.

The practice of taking children to the theatre
appears to me to be largely on the increase, and of
course is all the better for trade, but I often wonder
who chooses the play to which they shall be taken.
There has been quite a large percentage of children
at the Vaudeville lately to see The Girl in the Train,
eminently a play for an adult audience, with a first
act almost entirely without movement or song, and
which yet they appear to enjoy, although I cannot
help the reflection that I hope they do not know
what it is all about, but that this is not so in every
case was clearly demonstrated one evening by a
blase youth of some seven years of age who laughed
in all the right (or wrong) places.

These remarks must not be construed as reflecting
on the morality of the play ; but to educate the
young idea in the modus operand* of, not to mention
the cause for, a divorce case seems to indicate at least
unnecessary haste. In the play itself, the inno-
cence of the wrongfully accused heroine is never
actually established ; the inevitable " happy ending "
being arrived at by simply accepting her assertion of
innocence as the truth, and it is not difficult to
imagine the embarrassment of a mother on being
closely questioned by her child as to " what she had
done ? "

Sl

CHAPTER V

" GONDOLIERS " — FOOTBALL — " YEOMEN OF THE

GUARD "

ON 19th January 1909 I thus had the novel sensation
of appearing in a new part in a Gilbert and Sullivan
opera, repeating on this occasion an experience which
I had for the first time in 1877, although, of course,
on this later date the opera was a familiar one instead
of a novelty.

In glancing through some of the criticisms of this
revival, I am much struck with the marvellous in-
sight displayed by some of the writers, deepening an
impression already created in my mind, by the per-
usal of notices of other plays and performers, which
have frequently excited in me a curious kind of
wonder as to whether the said performers, myself
included, really intended to produce certain effects
and impressions ascribed to them, and if they were
genuinely possessed of the subtlety with which they
are credited.

Thus one of them pronounces on my performance
as follows : — " To see him, with the courtly grace of
an archbishop, solemnly wink at his own astuteness is
an object lesson to the younger generation," a remark
which pleases me immensely, and which I accept as
a great compliment to the unconscious — or might

52

TEMPERAMENT

one say subconscious — humour developed by my
artistic temperament.

By the way, the so-called artistic temperament,
which is so frequently alluded to in conversation and
literature, on the one hand accounting for the suc-
cessful portrayal of a part, and possibly the next
moment, on the other hand, and in discussing the
same artist, as accounting for certain pronounced
eccentricities of conduct, has always appealed to me
as being a very real attribute, and it was a severe shock
to my conviction when discussing the subject with
an eminent surgeon, at a dinner-party lately, to find
him denying in toto the bare possibility of the exist-
ence of such a thing.

Even when I ventured to suggest that the delight
with which so many of his colleagues undertake
operations probably proceeded from their possession
of this very temperament I could not convince him,
and it was only when I pointed out that if the artistic
world were robbed of this well-recognised excuse for
its many shortcomings and brilliant achievements
it would be imperative to substitute another, that he
finally admitted that there might be something in it
after all.

This was extremely gratifying, as I could not but
feel guilty of a certain presumption in arguing with
an eminent wielder of the merciful knife, whose
very qualification for his eminence presupposed an
intimacy amounting to certitude of all possible con-
tents of the human frame. It is, however, only the
knife of inquisitiveness which can dissect a soul, and

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the artistic temperament, being equally impalpable,
might prove equally difficult of location.

One aspect of the " artistic temperament " is its
sublime confidence in its ability to tackle successfully
any and every job to which the attention of the
possessor may be attracted, not invariably with con-
spicuous success ; this was brought rather vividly to
my observation on the occasion of a certain football
match (under the title " Church v. Stage ") which
was organised for the Daily Mirror Fund for providing
Christmas puddings for poor children, and which took
place on the historic ground of Stamford Bridge,
where we expect to witness the real article.

It was an undoubted success from the point of view
of the Church and the puddings — which sounds rather
an odd combination, " plums " we have heard of — but
the actors could hardly have been said to shine at the
game, not being as light as the component part of
suet to the plums should have been.

George Alexander, having had "greatness thrust
upon him " in being deputed to " kick off," seemed
hardly to realise what he had to kick, and gazed
excitedly at the referee, who however appeared un-
moved— I presume from force of habit.

I myself had the vaguest idea of my duties as
a "linesman," beyond careering up and down the
ground, and " wig- wagging " when the ball went into
touch ; but with a laudable desire to prove my
efficiency I twice, nervously but firmly, "foot-faulted"
a stalwart cleric named Wilson, who took exception
to my remonstrance in a comedian-like manner,

54

CHURCH MILITANT

which afforded the onlookers much amusement. Basil
Foster was easily the best player on the stage side,
and even he reminisced, at the end of the match —
" Pudding never gave me such a pain before ! "

H. V. Farnfield scored five of the seven goals for
the Church, and it seemed to me that, had he given
his mind and feet to the game seriously, he might
have scored fifty, but there was no doubt that, " for
this occasion only," the Church took matters easily,
and, in fact, indulged in a levity not usually associated
with their profession.

George Robey was the captain of the stage side,
and having heard flattering reports of his skill I was
much interested in the chance afforded of its mani-
festation, but, greatly to my disappointment, his
mission appeared to be the doubtless excellent one
of setting the Church a lesson in unselfishness, his
great object, on gaining possession of the ball, being
to rid himself of it as quickly as possible. I quote
this match principally with the view of supporting
my contention that the artistic temperament does
exist, and that in the case of the Rev. H. V. Farnfield
it took the form of a forbearance to a painstaking
and overweighted adversary which was highly meri-
torious. That the members of the stage team were
a painstaking lot was evidenced by three of their
number retiring " hurt," and that " virtue is its own
reward " was once more exemplified by the eventual
carrying off the field of the forbearing cleric !

I was not altogether pleased with my performance,
for the first time, of Don Alhambra, but this feeling

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of disappointment wore off with succeeding repre-
sentations and I was finally able to compliment one
of the critics on his discernment in stating that it
was " one of my best efforts," a dictum with which
I thoroughly agree, as indeed, owing to my own
artistic temperament, I do with all their pronounce-
ments.

As a slight excuse for awarding myself a certain
amount of praise over this delineation, in spite of
the part being, in my estimation, one of the most
"grateful" I have ever played, I may mention that
one of my comrades in the theatre, not too prone to
giving encouragement, volunteered the remark that
it was " a revelation."

I have spoken of the songs in the part of Don
Alhambra, one of which is frequently quoted to this
day, with the refrain of " No possible doubt whatever,"
and which was always tremendously popular, but his
song in Act 2, " There lived a King, as I've been told,"
gave me more pleasure in singing than almost any
song I can remember, not only for the delightful
humour of the words, but also for the joyous swing
of Sullivan's setting, which to me seems, if possible,
fuller of humour than many of the others.

Cheered in this way by the approbation of (nearly)
all concerned, I set to work seriously, with a light
heart (I am not Irish), to study and rehearse yet
another new part, that of Wilfrid Shadbolt, the Jailer,
in The Yeomen of the Guard, which was, alas ! to be
really the last opera which Mrs Carte intended to
present.

56

STUDY

This part, owing possibly to the underlying
streak of " grimness " it possesses, did not appeal
to me quite so strongly as did the lighter vein of
Don Alhambra, but in spite of that I was more
than pleased at the opportunity it afforded me of
being able to say, for the first time, that I had played
in every one of the Gilbert and Sullivan series.

The words "study the part" are used advisedly
in this particular instance, as, owing to the language
of the period in which the plot was placed being
adopted by Gilbert (as a matter of course), I found
my usual method of allowing the words to " come to
me " at rehearsal, only moderately effective.

I practised the method, however, to a certain extent,
and with the inevitable result of amusing comments
from Gilbert, who gravely announced one day that
he had " a presentiment " that I should know my
part at the next rehearsal. The presentiment did
not prove a correct one, however, and when, after the
dress rehearsal, he told me he had "another" I was
rather alarmed, until, on my asking him what it was
this time, he very kindly said that it was that I should
play the part well.

During the rehearsals for the opera, Workman and
myself had to apply for an " afternoon off," in order
to go down to Richmond, to appear at the annual
matinee for the local hospital, and on the way down
it occurred to us, as a bright idea, that we might
arrange a little unrehearsed effect by way of an
" extra turn."

We carried this out by having his number on the

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programme displayed on one side of the stage at the
same time as was mine on the other, then making a
simultaneous entrance from opposite sides, and having
a heated discussion as to who should recite first. The
audience appeared to enjoy it all immensely, and we
felt rather pleased at having thought of it, but a few
days later my wife asked me, " What were you and
Workman doing together at that Richmond matine'e? "
I explained, and she enjoyed the joke, but informed
me that some friends of ours, who had been present,
had told her that " Mr Barrington and Mr Workman
came on together, and did something that seemed to
please themselves very much ! "

In The Yeomen of the Guard I found myself no
longer " alone on the raft " as the sole representative
of the original band of Savoyards. My old colleague,
Richard Temple, the original Sir Marmaduke in The
Sorcerer, Deadeye in Pinafore, the Mikado, and
other parts, emerging from his retirement to under-
take his original part of Sergeant Merrill, to the
advantage of the general representation.

The constant strain of nightly work combined with
daily rehearsals had by this time had their due
effect in tiring the company, and, in consequence,
understudies were much in request, though I am
happy to say that mine was not requisitioned once
during the entire season of revivals.

I think it speaks rather well for my " artistic
temperament," and also for theirs, that I have been
able to maintain the most friendly relations with the
many good men who have understudied me at dif-

58

"THE YEOMEN"

ferent times and, in one or two cases, for some years,
without a single opportunity of making a wished-
for appearance in the part, for, although one must
acquit understudies of a baleful desire for one's
indisposition, it must be a wearisome business to hold
that position to an artist who is never absent for any
reason.

Workman and Herbert were absentees on account
of throat troubles, and even Lytton found the danc-
ing in Gondoliers too much for him one night, experi-
encing something closely resembling a fainting fit in
the middle of the chachucha, and being greeted with
loud applause on reappearing when the encore had
been taken without him.

The weather during the first week of The Yeomen
was simply dreadful, and all the theatres suffered,
both in the business and the loss of artists. Work-
man had to give up after the second night, and the
chorus was somewhat attenuated in numbers if not
in figures. The dismal state of the weather was not
the only factor in the debacle, as it was a general
consensus of opinion that the opera, although so
great a favourite with audience and artists, was
a depressing one to play on successive nights, and the \
relief when a change came, in the ordinary repertoire
way, was undoubted.

I myself shared in the feeling of depression which
lasted during the entire run of four weeks, and
culminated on the last evening with all the girls cry-
ing at the end of the play, despite a most appreciative
audience, a great call for all concerned, general

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enthusiasm, and a crowd of between two and three
hundred demonstrative admirers gathered about the
stage door to greet the departure of their popular
favourites. I do not remember ever feeling more
embarrassed than I was on this occasion. It was
impossible to ascend the steps leading to the street
except with the exercise of some gentle pressure, and
I was cheered, and handshaken, and demonstratively
kissed until I reached my cab, the same treatment
being impartially bestowed on several other members
of the company.

It was undoubtedly a great night, and a most
delightful wind-up to a series of revivals, which I
can only hope were as interesting to the audiences
as they were to me personally. I created a record in
not missing one performance throughout, a pleasant
recollection, for which, however, 1 naturally do not
wish to claim any credit, these things not being in
our own hands.

As I left the scene of so many delightful evenings,
and so many pleasant personal successes, my thoughts
involuntarily went back to the time when the alert
little figure of my old friend and manager, D'Oyly
Carte, was constantly in evidence ; and mingled with
the regret that he should not have been able to take
part in a scene such as his kindly disposition would
have revelled in was the added sorrow that Mrs
D'Oyly Carte had been prevented by illness from
participating in what I think one might term a
historic farewell. I am truly grateful to her for the
opportunity afforded me of not only playing some of

60

MRS D'OYLY CARTE AND MYSELF AT THE GARDEN-PARTY
GIVEN BY HER TO THE SAVOY COMPANY

SAVOY GHOSTS

my old and favourite parts, but also for the chance
of appearing in the two new ones which for me
completed the cycle ; and, although I have not the
least doubt that the future will see further revivals
of these operas, it is only human to wonder if they
can possibly take place under the same management,
and whether a kind Fate may have it in store for
me to make a reappearance in some or any of them.
It does not seem so very great a stretch of imagina-
tion to fancy that every stick and stone of the
Savoy Theatre is so thoroughly impregnated with
the Gilbert and Sullivan atmosphere as to render the
management of it, for the reproduction of these
operas, a comparatively easy task, nor, in saying this,
will anyone for a moment imagine that any slight
is intended on the well-known and frequently
evidenced business capacity of Mrs Carte, but, failing
her, I can almost imagine the ghosts of the past
taking matters into their own hands, and giving
performances for all to see who have the courage
to revisit the " pale glimpses of the moon " on certain
nights in " the wee sma' hours ayont the twal'.

That anyone venturing on such an excursion would
be received with the courtesy for which the Savoy is
noted would be guaranteed by the presence, at all
hours of the night, of my old friend, Kelly, of the
fire brigade, who has kept watch and ward over
the ghosts of the operas ever since the old days of
the Opera Comique.

61

CHAPTER VI

ORANGE BLOSSOMS — DINNER FOR TWO — FALLEN

FAIRIES

ONCE again it seemed my fate to turn my attention
to the " Halls," which are undoubtedly an " ever-
pleasant refuge" to the unengaged actor. I deter-
mined to give another trial to the sketch I produced
with some success at the Shepherd's Bush Empire,
called Man the Lifeboat, and, it having occurred
to me that, instead of the old Coxswain of the boat
describing the launch and return of it with the
rescued man, it would increase the interest to have
it actually seen by means of cinematograph films,
I cast about for the means of fulfilling this end.

After a careful examination of all existing films
I could only discover one which I thought might be
of use to me — a rescue of a man in the water done
by the Hastings crew — but the preliminaries were
unsuitable, the launch and return being of the mildest
description, and carried out surrounded by a self-
evident crowd of trippers and onlookers in immaculate
flannels and straw hats, betokening a perfect summer
day.

I called on the Secretary of the Lifeboat Institution,
told him my trouble and received a most courteous
permission to make my own arrangements with the

62

officer and crew of the Deal Lifeboat, provided these
arrangements synchronised with a " practice."

Armed with an introduction to Mr Prior, the local
official, the rest was comparatively easy, and having
agreed with Coxswain Adams to take advantage of
the first really breezy morning with a bit of a sea on,
I established myself and a cinematograph operator
in the near neighbourhood of the boat-house, and
patiently awaited developments, both of a weather
and photographic description, hardening my muscles
for my proposed arduous duties as Coxswain by the
frequent use of my golf clubs.

I had already borrowed a cottage, from which I
was to rush forth on receiving the summons for the
boat, and sent there my " uniform " and cork-jacket,
so was fully prepared for business when Coxswain
Adams called one night at my hotel to inform me
that "the wind was freshening, and the boat would
be wanted at seven-thirty the next morning." Sure
enough, when I was "roused out" about six-thirty,
I found a nice grey day and, for Deal at this time
of year, a fairly rough sea running, so I hastily got
into my kit, not without certain misgivings as to the
possibility of the amateur Coxswain being seasick.

Coxswain Adams is a typical Deal boatman, a
true representative of the thick-set, hardy men who
maintain the best traditions of their kind, men who
make nothing of the worst weather imaginable when
there is a prospect of saving life, and who take
everything as it comes with a stolid acquiescence
which is truly remarkable. Adams spent an hour

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MORE RUTLAND HARRINGTON

or so with me one night in the cosy bar of the Royal,
and though his potations were limited to one " three-
finger " grog, it served to open the port-hole which
imprisoned some capital and interesting yarns.

I had of course rehearsed the real Coxswain and
the crew in the little drama which they were to re-
present, and they played their parts splendidly, with
the one slight drawback that, instead of assuming the
desired tragic expression demanded by the situation
of saving a drowning man, they persisted in regarding
the affair as a huge joke, and roaring with laughter
when the aged and ailing Coxswain (myself), in
rushing to his post, in spite of failing strength,
measured his length on the rough beach from sheer
physical distress, and was assisted to rise by the
genuine Coxswain and one of the crew. Fortunately
these cheerful smiles, although of an expansive
nature, were not discernible on the film later on,
partly owing to my shouts of " Don't grin," and more
perhaps to the sea-going method of concealing merri-
ment with the hand over the mouth.

My sensations when, having run up the ladder
into the boat, amid the cheers of the waiting crew,
I grasped the tiller and gave the word " Let her go ! "
I shall never forget. The beach at Deal is steep, and
as the enormous boat gathered way, and rushed down
to meet a succession of fairly huge waves, I felt a
sense of great exhilaration, modified with that of a
responsibility for the lives of the gallant fellows who
had placed themselves so trustingly in my care.

However, all passed off satisfactorily, and after

64

GIVING UP DYING!

sailing out for a couple of miles or so, during which
there was sea and wind enough to give us a thorough
soaking in spite of mackintoshes, we made the return
trip in great style — the Hastings boat having saved
the drowning man we went out for some months
before we received the "call" — and I returned to
the hotel for a ten-o'clock breakfast, with which
I was very pleased to meet, thoroughly satisfied and
delighted with my first and last appearance (on the
water) as Coxswain of the Lifeboat.

The two films combined made an excellent illustra-
tion of a launch and rescue, and were received with
great applause when I produced the sketch at the
Metropolitan Music Hall, but, to my great disappoint-
ment and, I may also say, surprise, the sketch failed
to " book on," and beyond a visit to Jersey and
Guernsey I did nothing more with it. Among other
reasons for this result — a rather heart-breaking one
after all the expense I had been put to in preparing
for it — was one given by a friend of mine, who
probably struck at the root of the matter in saying :
" It's not your part, Barry : they want you to be
funny — and they hate you to die." I gave up dying
at the end of the sketch after that, and sang a verse
of a song in praise of " a mug of beer," but, although
it certainly seemed to inprove it, it was perhaps too
late to save it ; be that as it may, I have still faith
in the sketch, and shall some day hire the boat out to
some tragedian, by the hour, or two shows nightly.

A friend and fellow-actor (not always synonymous)
who came to see it played at Shepherd's Bush, on his
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own initiative, confessed to me afterwards that he
came in a critical mood and that I had surprised and
touched him with my display of " rugged force and
pathos," so perhaps when the above-mentioned
tragedian takes over the command the little play
may earn the success I feel it deserves.

Our journey to the Channel Islands was marked
by one very pleasant little incident. I had reserved a
compartment for myself and company in the train
from Paddington to Weymouth, the train was ab-
normally crowded, and I found my " preserves " had
been invaded by two young girls who had made
themselves comfortable in two of the best corners
and who resolutely refused to move to another
carriage. Although I remonstrated with them per-
sonally they stuck to their guns — and corners — and
I rather admired them for it. The train started,
and in the course of conversation it transpired that
they were also appearing in the same programme as
we were, both in Jersey and Guernsey ; that my agent
had told them, in engaging them, that I was going
and they had better look out for me on the train—
which they had done to some purpose. This put
a somewhat different complexion on their invasion,
and we all became most friendly, and remained so for
the week, both of them proving charming additions
to our party.

We were most hospitably entertained one night
in Jersey by a friend we made on the links at Gorey,
and who kindly got up a poker-party for Hanworth,
Browning and myself, at which he and his friends

66

'ORANGE BLOSSOMS"

relieved us of all the profits we had not made during
the week. There was a rule to the effect that anyone
holding " fours of a kind " was to receive an extra
sovereign from each player, and this occurred three
times in no time, whereupon Browning suggested the
abolition of the rule ; this was of course acceded to,
and the next hand that was dealt found me with
four aces, for which I received about four shillings.

Guernsey was " one night only " on the way back
to the mainland, but appears to be a better town for
entertainments than Jersey ; at all events we had quite
a good house and appeared to be very popular, so
much so that we were invited to stay on and give
another evening ; but it could not be arranged and
we left for Weymouth with a pleasant sense of
comfort at our reception which was rudely dis-
pelled by a very stormy crossing.

On my return to town I signed a contract for four
weeks at the London Pavilion with yet another
sketch — a musical one this time, with one of my
favourite topical songs in it, and a dance in addition.
The title of it was Orange Blossoms, and I had the
good fortune to secure Miss Pollie Emery for one of
the parts and Miss Dorothy Craske for the other.
The audiences appeared to enjoy it immensely, and it
ran merrily for the four weeks, when it shared the
same fate as the Lifeboat.

My part in it was that of a retired admiral, and
one afternoon when I was being shaved at Shipwright's
I was much interested on hearing from the " artist in
attendance" that he had been to see me the night

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before. I naturally invited his criticism of the per-
formance, knowing that these men are all great
frequenters of theatres and halls, and more than
fairly intelligent judges. I waited his dictum with
some trepidation, which was justified when he said :
" I only remarked one thing, sir — that your hair was
rather long."

There was a tremendous storm in a tea-cup on the
second night of this engagement ; the dressing-room
accommodation is somewhat limited here — as it is
indeed at several of the older halls in London — and
Miss Emery and Miss Craske had perforce to share
a room with a well-known variety star, who, instead
of welcoming two such charming ladies, chose the
alternative of being very unpleasant to them ; rather
to their amusement. She informed the stage
manager that, unless it were altered, she would there
and then leave the place. He very wisely replied :
" Do so, by all means, if you wish." She did, but-
returned in less than ten minutes, in time for her
" turn," and by way of insisting on her fancied rights
placed a screen in the dressing-room, depriving the two
other ladies of her own charming society and that of
all the lights in the room.

What quaint ideas are occasionally induced by the
artistic temperament in the direction of self-import-
ance ! — though not so much in evidence in the sterner
sex, as proved by the fact that Neil Kenyon, Whit
Cunliffe, Tom Clare and myself had the use of one
room only and yet were not fractious over it, even
though its dimensions were not great, and subject to

68

"DINNER FOR TWO"

a steady stream of song-writers anxious to interview
Cunliffe. During this engagement I had my first
experience of appearing at two different halls a night.
I had signed a three weeks' contract with the Tivoli
management to appear with Yorke Stephens in a
duologue written by R. C. Carton, the well-known
author, called Dinner for Two, and one week of
the engagement overlapped with that at the Pavilion.

The times are of course arranged to allow margin
enough for travelling from one place to another,
but 1 had a narrow escape of being late one night
at the Pavilion owing to one or two artists dropping
out of the bill unexpectedly. My number went up as
I entered the door, but fortunately I had no change
of costume to make, so the situation was saved.

Both Yorke Stephens and myself came to the con-
clusion that Dinner for Two did not end satisfactorily,
and we put our views before the author, but they
were not his for some days, though when he even-
tually yielded to our gentle compulsion the result
was a proof that we had been right in our diagnosis.

My experience is that the end of the sketch is the
great difficulty in music-hall works. The whole
thing has to be a kind of crescendo of laughter, and
must finish with the best laugh of all, to be success-
ful, and an additional trial is that one cannot allow
any time for an explanation of the plot, which must,
as the French put it, sauter aux yeux in the first few
lines.

There is another factor of importance in the
success of these sketches — the feminine element.

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There are certain sketches of a rough-and-tumble
order which will win approbation and cause amuse-
ment, that do not require the presence of woman at
all, but should a playlet be presented, comic or
pathetic, absolutely demanding the inclusion of one
or more of the softer sex, their representatives must
be the last word of beauty and fashion if the
sketch is to be a success, which will account for the
anachronism of a maid-servant or waitress possessing
valuable jewellery and dressing in the most expensive
silks and satins, the only sign of economy being their
attenuated length and breadth.

These simple (?) facts make sketch-writing for the
halls a very difficult task, though most people fancy
it is easy enough, and write accordingly.

The hard work of the double engagement had
perhaps tired me somewhat, as one afternoon, when
I had been seeing off some friends at Victoria
Station, I had been forced to recognise the desirability
of a whisky and soda ; on chatting with the attend-
ant Hebe during the process of acquisition she re-
marked: "You do put me in mind of Rutland
Barrington — are you ever taken for him?" I told
her that I was considered to bear a faint resemblance
to the well-known actor ; whereupon she added : " I
thought so — but of course he is much more sprightly
than you." I answered with a very chilly "In-
deed ? " Whereupon she hastened to soften the
blow by saying : " But you are better-looking." I
then paid for my refreshment.

Shortly after this the rumours which assigned the

70

'FALLEN FAIRIES'1

next tenancy of the Savoy Theatre to C. H. Work-
man received confirmation, and the reopening was
duly announced, and within a few weeks an ac-
complished fact. The play chosen was called The
Mountaineers, but it failed to attain any great altitude
of success. It was followed by the new opera by
Gilbert which had been frequently alluded to, but
which I had, for some inexplicable reason, fully made
up my mind would never see the light. It did,
however, and finally proved to be a musical version
of one of his old Haymarket successes called The
Wicked World.

I have very clear recollections of the charming
performances given by Madge Robertson, W. H.
Kendal (who later on became her husband), and,
above all, by that ripe old comedian Buckstone, as
serving-man to the two knights. Whether it was
that I could find nothing in this later version to
overshadow these three artists, or whether the fact
that turning so much of the dialogue into lyrics
militated against the interest I had felt in the original
play, I cannot determine, but I am inclined to
attribute much of the failure of the opera to catch
on to the fact that, owing to the entire absence of
men's voices to balance the mass of soprani and alti,
one's ears suffered from an unavoidable weariness,
and a longing for the robust report of the male
choristers ; the humour of the play also seemed to me
to have evaporated, to a great extent, with its conver-
sion, and in spite of Workman's heroic efforts in
Buckstone's old part, or possibly because of them, he

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did not provide the comic relief one looked for so
anxiously ; although he sang the two songs allotted
to his part excellently well, I was conscious all the
evening of a desire to hear one of the other two men,
with their manly voices, indulge in a solo.

After the withdrawal of Fallen Fairies there
was another production, which I believe met with
a certain success, enough at least to warrant its
migration to another theatre, but as far as the Savoy
went its doors were closed for the time being.

The habit of "transplanting" plays seems to be
largely on the increase, and in some cases with
excellent results, but it has always been a mystery
to me why a play which is proving a doubtful success
should be expected to survive a removal, and, on the
other hand, why a really successful one should be
exiled in favour of something untried.

Of course previous contracts loom largely as factors
in the bouleversement, and may occasionally be the
true reason, but the danger of transplanting a tender
flower is obvious, and yet numbers of theatrical
gardeners are constantly courting it, and generally
with the inevitable result.

Peter's Mother was a play which I believe travelled
about from theatre to theatre, meeting with the
same success in all, thereby establishing a danger-
ous precedent, but Peter's Mother was an excep-
tional person, and even she might have been alive
now had she not been exposed to so many varied
draughts.

There is undoubtedly something in the argument

72

'FALLEN FAIRIES"

of the suitability of a theatre for one class of enter-
tainment and one only ; it would be incongruous
to find a rollicking farce at His Majesty's, for instance,
or tragedy at the Criterion ; so it would surely be
wiser to wait with your play for the right theatre.
This, it seems to me, is amply demonstrated by the
the case of the Savoy ; one is tempted to wonder if
some occult influence is at work to deny prosperity
to any and every production at this theatre other
than Gilbert and Sullivan opera I That there have
undoubtedly been other successes made there, notably
by Greet, Vedrenne and Barker, and quite lately by
Marie Brema, no one is likely to dispute, but a lengthy
period of prosperity seems impossible of attainment
except with the operas for which the theatre was
built ; it is a charming little house, easily accessible,
which in the old days it decidedly was not, and yet
this sad fate seems to attach to it ; the solution
of the enigma might be invaluable to the next
tenant.

If it were possible, on the part of some interested
syndicate, to tempt me to become the next adventurer
I should certainly commence the campaign with one
of the old Savoy successes, not necessarily Gilbert
and Sullivan, but possibly one of the two or three
operas sandwiched between the series, notably The
Vicar of Bray or Haddon Hall ; this method might,
followed by a Gilbert and Sullivan opera, lay the
ghost of the unlucky influence, and, while dormant,
I would seize the opportunity of producing something
entirely new and original, which, if successful on its

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merits, might be the awakening of a new era to the
Savoy. I present this idea to the consideration of
anyone interested in occultism, though the conjunc-
tion of occultists and syndicates appears somewhat
anachronistic.

74

CHAPTER VII

THE CRITICS — THE CRITICISMS THE CRITICISED

THE portrait which accompanies this chapter is that
of my old friend Ernest Bendall, to whom I believe
I am justified in alluding as the Doyen of Critics
at the present day, he having uninterruptedly " ob-
served " and criticised my efforts, and others, since
1873, and invariably with that " open mind " which
is so artistically and delicately hinted at in the attitude
of the door in the photograph. I have endeavoured
to induce an identical state of mind to pervade the
following pages, which have not in any way been
inspired by consultation or conversation with him or
any of his confreres, but are the usual carelessly ex-
pessed opinions and ideas of one of " the criticised,"
who confesses to a deep debt of gratitude for much
kindly encouragement and grateful reading.

The position of dramatic critic on an influential,
and consequently important, journal is, for many
reasons, a desirable objective to any journalist. Also,
for quite as many reasons, if not more — as amongst
them must be included each individual member of
the theatrical profession — it is by no means invariably
an enviable one. Several prominent artists, both on
the English and French stage, have expressed an

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opinion to the effect that a personal acquaintance
between critic and criticised is a thing to be avoided,
but to the best of my recollection they have none of
them offered any solution of the difficulty.

In the first place it is impossible to dictate to any
person on the subject of any acquaintances that
person may choose to make, or be forced to make,
and such is the contrariety of human nature that even
the slightest indication of such a prohibition is, in
most cases, considered a sufficient reason for at once
seeking the acquaintance of the person indicated.
Also the very occupation of critic and artist is to
a certain extent carried on on the common ground of
the theatre, additional facilities for meeting being of
late years afforded by the presence at dress rehearsals,
and even earlier ones, of the critics. Then there are
also club life and society gatherings to add to the
complications of the problem " to know or not to
know," not to speak of the intellectual advantage
accruing to the artist — whose mind must of necessity
be somewhat self-centred — with the opportunity of
discussing cause and effect with some representative
of a body of men whose erudite minds are trained
to point out the best means of obtaining an effective
whole, so frequently thrown out of balance by an
over-predominating part.

With the enormous increase in society functions
and entertainments of all sorts one would imagine a
corresponding increase in opportunities of meeting,
but I venture to think that this is not the case, as
these gatherings, from their very size, number and

76

ERNEST BENDALL

THE CRITICS

promiscuity, have lost some of their distinctiveness
of former times.

In the early Victorian era novelists and literati
of all descriptions were in the habit of alluding to
a certain section of society as " Bohemia," wherein
was represented all that was most notable in the
hemispheres of Art, Letters and the Stage, leavened
with a sprinkling of titled dilettanti in these worlds,
and an occasional statesman, who sought the brilliant
circle as a relaxation from his arduous duties of
framing laws to govern it, and possibly with the
(unconfessed) object of obtaining a few useful hints
as to the framing of such laws.

The radical and the socialist were not greatly in
evidence in those times, the latter because he was
then non-existent, and the former probably for the
reason that he sought no relaxation from the stern
path of duty, and admitted very little power, on the
part of others of a different creed, to instruct, advise
or modify — an attitude of intolerance which seems
to be largely on the increase with all members of all
political creeds. I myself profess Unionist principles,
and, when discussing political affairs, experience so
strong a feeling of indignation should any of my
statements be refuted that I refrain from any indul-
gence in the practice.

Why this desirable circle was so christened, or by
whom, I have never discovered, but that the entree
to it was most eagerly sought is a*i undoubted fact,
and to establish a kind of salon for its gatherings
was the object of many charming hostesses who had

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the good fortune to possess a husband, brother or
male belonging of sorts, eminent in some one of the
directions indicated, or who had themselves qualified
for the position.

My own modest achievements, backed by kindly
introductions on the part of one or two already
qualified members, procured me the great pleasure
of being received at all the receptions I could find
time and inclination to attend, and the lack of inclina-
tion was never the cause of an omission.

Two of the most delightful houses were those of
Boughton, the great artist, and Joseph Hatton, the
novelist and journalist, and at neither of these was
it possible to pass a dull moment or meet a really
dull person. No one was ever asked to contribute to
the evening's entertainment, for the very good reason
that anyone who could do anything volunteered to
do it, with the result that one had a musical, dramatic
and conversational soiree such as even the wealth of
a Rockefeller could hardly have purchased.

The actor, for the nonce, put on no " side," the
critic came without his cynicism, and the conversa-
tionalist assumed an unwonted brilliance in the genial
atmosphere ; the " turns," all voluntary, were keenly
appreciated, in direct contrast to the attitude of the
modern deadhead, who sees very little to praise in
gratuitous entertainment, and many a " first appear-
ance" was made under auspices which were inspiring
instead of the dreaded nerve-racking ordeal.

Critics and criticised met on the most friendly foot-
ing ; plays, players and authors were discussed in the

78

THE CRITICS

most fearless manner, andevenpersonalitiesindulged in,
and received in the spirit in which they were made.

Under such circumstances it was inevitable that
the two should meet and know each other, and if the
critic had perforce to fall foul of his good friend's
next performance he did so with all the good will of
which he was possessed, and in the full knowledge
of his friend's equal good will in the perusal of his
opinion.

I am not sure but that the words " his opinion " do
not furnish the key to the complacency with which
artists regard an adverse criticism of their work ; of
course, a criticism of a praiseful nature is accepted
as a tribute on the part of the public at large, as ex-
pressed by the one writer, whereas the criticism which
points out certain flaws or faults in the work of either
actor or author may legitimately be regarded as the
expression of opinion of one man alone, and therefore
to be treated as an error of judgment which must
not be allowed to affect a personal friendship.

Be it as it may, there is no doubt that the position
of the conscientious critic is by no means enviable
when he has, in pursuance of his duty to the public,
to throw a lurid light on the shortcomings of his
friend, and it is much to the credit of both parties
in the matter that they can, and do, maintain
the entente cordiale in the fullest sense of the
expression.

Another point which the critic must inevitably
bear in mind, although the stern moralist might con-
tend that it should not influence his writing, is the

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great expense incurred by his possibly personal
friend, the manager, in the production, a very large
item indeed, nowadays, in the case of musical plays.
Is he to blame that, with this consideration in mind,
justice is occasionally over-tempered with mercy ?
We may be told that what is spent in this direction
is no affair of the public, but it is done to please the
public eye, and only those who have tried it know
the difficulty of criticism which shall not raise the
cry of partiality or incompetence.

The pleasing of the eye has, it seems to me,
become of more importance than it formerly was,
hence the enormous outlay on " productions," but it
is a moot point whether the public have demanded
this expenditure or the managers been compelled to
offer it under the stress of increased competition.

A well-known and popular comedian, with whom
I was dicussing criticisms lately, apropos a species of
modified reproof we had both received at the hands,
or rather pen, of one of our friend -enemies, gave it
as his opinion that "there should be no critics, and
that plays should simply be reported," but I hardly
think he could have been in earnest in saying this,
as he immediately afterwards agreed with me that
certain other pronouncements in certain other journals
" formed very pleasant reading " 1

Of course it is very easy to say that " personalities "
are not criticism, nor are they, but personality enters
so largely into the work of author, actor or artist
that it really becomes somewhat difficult to deter-
mine where personality ends and art begins.

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THE CRITICISED

The most successful actors, and, for the purposes
of this argument, I mean, by most successful, those
occupying the most highly paid positions, most un-
doubtedly owe not a little of their success to strong
personality, which may be manifested, in my humble
opinion, in one of three ways : good looks, atmosphere,
or mannerism, for none of which, I contend, has the
artist the power to claim any credit, unless it be
possibly the third, which may certainly be cultivated,
improved upon or changed, at the will of the pos-
sessor, or even in some cases invented — but which, as
being the least important of the three, is hardly an
attribute on which to bestow credit.

The two first are obviously gifts, either of nature
or a bountiful providence, and, of the two the posses-
sion of the second, "atmosphere," is a factor in
success the value of which it is impossible to over-
estimate, for whereas the first is liable to all the
accidents of the human frame, including that worst
accident of all, age, the latter is an undying and
unassailable asset.

To an artist blessed by Fate with these two great
gifts everything is possible, but the instances are
represented far more by the exception than the rule,
whereas the fortunate recipients of the second, even
though unaccompanied by the smallest modicum of
the former, may, luckily for the English stage and
lovers of the theatre, be counted by dozens.

It would be an invidious task to give examples of
present-day actors and actresses who possess, or lack,
beauty, atmosphere or mannerisms, although never-
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theless a very easy one, for it is not possible for any
human being to sit in the auditorium of a theatre
without feeling the species of magnetism due to
the personal atmosphere emanating from the really
talented artist the moment he or she appears in sight.

Irving was a very striking and strong example of
this personal atmosphere, and his son, H. B., possesses
it in a marked degree; Charles Wyndham, Gerald
du Maurier and Charles Hawtrey undoubtedly have
it, and amongst the ladies of the stage the two most
pronouncedly gifted with it are Marie Tempest and
Ethel Irving; to none of these is it possible to do
anything inartistic, and even if they do not always
please one as much as they have educated us into
expecting, they do not disappoint in the same measure
as would another artist, lacking the atmosphere, in
the same part.

Mr Henry Arthur Jones has lately been venturing
into print, in praise of the actors of what is known as
" the old school," and drawing comparisons unfavour-
able to those of the present time. There is much to
be said on both sides of the argument, but it occurs
to me that a clearer definition of what is meant by
"the old school" would be advantageous to the
discussion.

To take a few names at random, I myself have
seen Phelps, Vining, Creswick, Buckstone, Compton,
Sothern (who perhaps was the advance guard of the
modern style of acting), Miss Bateman, Miss Leclerq,
and others too numerous to mention, who belonged,
I imagine, to the school indicated, and of the trage-

8a

ETHEL IRVING

THE OLD SCHOOL

dians I recollect an impression of a somewhat
laboured diction and corresponding action, producing
a dilatoriness which possibly accounted for the early
hour at which plays in those days were commenced.
There was an irresistible dry humour about Buck-
stone and Compton, which is perhaps rare in these
days — but so it was then — while to match the charm
and style of the ladies of that era with present
examples is an easy task surely.

Possibly one reason why artists in those days
achieved a more lasting fame than is granted to us
of the present, lies in the fact that there are now
three theatres where there then existed but one, and,
consequently, with the increasing number of artists
comes an increasing number of talented individuals,
with the result of spreading, as it were, the jam, both
of admiration and notoriety, over a much greater
number of slices of bread. It is only in the nature
of things that the talent of an artist should improve
with experience, and since the abolition of the
" stock company " this can only be acquired by long
years of work ; so that the term " old school " would
seem to apply equally to the stage veterans of the
present day — a veteran in experience being by no
means of necessity a veteran in years.

There has been of late years a most marked altera-
tion in the social status of the actor and actress as
compared with that which obtained in the early
Victorian era, which has most undoubtedly been
responsible for the recruiting of a larger number of
persons of a better class than those which formerly

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filled the rank and file of the stage army. When
I first embarked upon the chequered voyage of a
theatrical career (I seem to be rather mixing the
Army metaphor with the Naval, but they are insep-
arable) it was, for some occult reason, deemed a
necessity that the tyro should veil his identity under
an assumed name ; arising, I believe, from a lingering
suspicion that the stage as a profession was hardly
respectable ; this idea has been considerably modified
of late years, and yet, as far as one can see, without
any very marvellous accession to the respectability
which then existed, and is even now fully as much
the rule as the exception. We have only to
glance at the male choristers in any or all of the
present musical plays, or the extra ladies and gentle-
men of the drama houses, to be convinced of this im-
provement, if improvement it be, because, although it
is infinitely preferable to watch the efforts of a smart
and even athletic-looking crowd of young fellows, it
is impossible not to occasionally miss the voice-
training to which the chorister of former days had to
submit to qualify for the position.

A common form of present-day criticism is that
which reads somewhat after this fashion : " Those
admirable comedians, Blank and Blink, lent invalu-
able aid to the scenes in which they appeared, and
we have little doubt that when they have had time
to build up their parts in the usual manner, they will
be as mirth-provoking in this as in anything we have
yet seen them do."

This is naturally a direct incentive to Blank and

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IRRESPONSIBLE COMEDIANS

Blink to "improve" on the author, and possibly, in
the hands and brains of a capable and careful Blank
and Blink, may be an important factor in the success-
ful run of the play, but the question frequently arises,
how, where and by whom is a watch to be kept on
the firm of fun, and a restraining influence exercised.

Blish and Blush, who are playing the subalterns,
as it were, to their fun-captains, consider themselves
entitled to the same freedom of speech, with the not
infrequent result that the humorous scenes become
so inordinately lengthened as to throw the play out
of balance and develop a weariness of spirit on the
part of the audience which the author, in originally
framing the sequence of scenes, has spent careful
hours in endeavouring to avoid. I have seen this
sense of irresponsibility on the part of the comedians
spread like an infection and attack the members
of the company who are representing the serious or
love interest portion of the play, with the result that
not only has the intention of the author become
thoroughly obscured, but also that an air of in-
sincerity has been imparted to the serious side of the
argument which has reduced the audience to a state
of annoyance at what is apparently a liberty taken
with their understanding and purchased enjoyment,
and seriously endangered the success of what may
have been a well-thought-out scheme on the part
of the author.

This is not altogether the fault of the comedians,
for within my own experience (outside Savoy Opera,
I need hardly remark) I have met authors who have

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deliberately left Blank and Blink to write their own
scenes, those of them who were sufficiently wary
safeguarding themselves by arranging that such
scenes had little or nothing to do with the plot of
the piece.

An excellent anodyne for the divergence from the
paths of art — I use a medical term advisedly for a
procedure which is frequently the ground of a com-
plaint— might be found in the fortnightly or monthly
application of a critical liniment of praise or censure
well rubbed in with a practised hand, but at present
there is but slight notice taken of a successful play
between its production and the "second edition,"
which is usually forthcoming after the lapse of some
twelve or eighteen months, thus leaving a consider-
able interval free for the development of these
personal idiosyncrasies which do not invariably
please.

This mode of treatment, however, would not be an
easy matter to arrange, as, owing to the enormous
number of productions in all directions, the dramatic
critic is already an overworked personage and should
not, in common fairness, be condemned to sit in
constant judgment on the same play or set of players.

A book which I have lately read with much
pleasure and interest, written by Mr Spencer, the
talented critic of The Westminster Gazette, although
covering a great deal of ground, leaves me with the
hope that he will gratify us with a second and more
exhaustive volume. Although on one or two points
I join issue with his reasoning — I being an actor,

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LOVE INTEREST

he a critic, this is but fitting — there is, to my mind,
evidence on every page of a man who knows and
loves his subject, writes on it fearlessly, and has a
great desire to see the English stage in the forefront
of honour attributable to good work on the part of
both authors and delineators.

In discussing the imperative necessity of a love
story in plays — which, I gather, he believes need not
exist — he makes the remarkable statement that " love
in the Gilbert and Sullivan operas is treated with
cruel levity." To what opera does he allude? In
Pinafore, Mikado and Pirates love conquers disparity
in rank, and where can he find more dignified or
tender tales of love than the double interest in
Yeomen of the Guard and Casilda and Luiz in
Gondoliers ? The passion of the middle-aged woman
for the youth in one or two of the operas is perhaps
treated with a " cruel levity," but is surely a phase of
love which has earned it from time immemorial, and
after all, in those operas, is only a secondary interest.

In speaking of the importance, or the reverse, of
" make-up " he puts forth this proposition : " Can it
be that the triumphs, that we sometimes see, of the
actress over the actor, are partly due to the fact that
she reduces make-up to the minimum ? "

The make-up practice of the ladies of the stage is,
in my experience, confined almost entirely to securing
the effect of superhuman eyelashes and scarlet mouths
of a stereotyped shape entirely without reference as
to their harmony with the other features, the gaining
of which effects usually occupies anything from an

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hour to an hour and a half, and, more often than not,
seems to necessitate the use of a trowel in application.
I shall never forget the comic distress of the Savoy
company concerning what they considered the en-
forced ugliness of the make-up for The Mikado, and
my dear old friend Rosina Brandram, of the glorious
voice, left no doubt that hers was indeed a make-up
and nothing like an attempt to conceal her youth.
The restlessness of English acting is another thing
which Mr Spencer finds fault with, and here I am
in complete accord with him, as I fancy would be the
majority of his readers ; the enormous value of repose
is not generally appreciated, and the power to assist
a somewhat lengthy scene with an almost wordless
effectiveness is indeed rare ; in truth I have known
cases of actors and actresses declining to remain on
" all through that with nothing to say," ignoring the
fact that the author has probably planned it so with
a purpose.

I should like to say something on the subject of
self-elected critics, but this chapter, being already of
an inordinate length, seems to shake a warning finger
with a blot of printer's ink on it which is plainly
decipherable as a full stop.

88

CHAPTER VIII

ON TOUR WITH "THE WALLS OF JERICHO " — A WORD
ON AUCTION BRIDGE

FAILING to find my services sought by London
managers as eagerly as a number of my friends tried
to persuade me they should and would be, and being
still determined to continue in a profession for which
I consider Nature to have bountifully equipped me
—not to mention the obvious necessity of earning a
living — I came to the conclusion to try a flight into
the region of comedy, being largely persuaded thereto
not only by the foregoing reasons, but also by the
prospect of trying in the provinces a new play by a
personal friend, in which I had great confidence, and
of which more anon.

The additional temptations also included, beyond
the decent living wage, a percentage of the problem-
atical profits, and, as the play to be toured was that
pronounced moneymaker The Walls of Jericho, by
Alfred Sutro, the problem had every appearance of
being solvable, in spite of the fact that in some of the
towns selected it was the third, fourth and even
fifth visit. These hopes were damped to a certain
extent by the heat wave which visited London during
the fortnight in which we rehearsed, but I reflected
that this damping was only the natural result of our

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exertion in such weather and could not really affect
the result.

We left town on 15th August, with a most
excellent company of clever and pleasant people, for
Harrogate, where the campaign was to open, and
where we naturally found a host of friends eager for
some distraction from " the cure."

With a view to adding an additional attraction to
the programme, and giving myself perhaps a greater
opportunity for distinction than was afforded by the
part I played in the piece, it was arranged that I
should give a short entertainment before the play,
consisting of songs, stories, recitations and an occa-
sional short duologue, in which I had the assistance
of Miss Florence Steventon and Miss Trevor-Lloyd
on different occasions.

These ladies were respectively the Tiny Morning-
ton and Lady Alethea Frobisher in The Walls, as
it was abbreviatively christened by the staffs of the
theatres we visited, and the part I selected was that
of the mercenary old aristocrat, the Marquis of
Steventon, played originally, I believe, by Mr O. B.
Clarence ; he does rather more to excite the contempt
than the sympathy of the audience, which is scarcely
a recommendation to a player, but being next in
importance to the hero, Jack Frobisher (who is, by
the way, a good deal of a prig), which part I did not
see myself attempting, appeared to offer the best
chance of distinction.

The success of the first night, as far as regards the
play, was most pronounced, but my preliminary

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ENTERTAINMENT

personal efforts to amuse were received with a certain
modified enthusiasm which suggested the idea that
the material was slightly old-fashioned ; this view
was confirmed the following evening, by which time
I had effected some radical changes which proved of
great advantage.

We followed the usual routine of three nights in
Harrogate and three in Buxton, a procedure necessi-
tating a somewhat strenuous day in mid-week;
leaving Harrogate fairly early and spending an hour
in Leeds en passant we arrived in Buxton at two-
thirty, with a band rehearsal in prospect at five-thirty
and the night's work to follow.

I occupied myself during most of the journey in
lengthening a little musical duologue, called T/te
Lost E Flat, by means of introducing a recitation
by a parson who forgets every other line and is
prompted by Mrs Vicar; and, Miss Steventon and
myself being fortunately quick studies, it was put in
the same evening, with happy results ; it was also
very gratifying to be told by Mr Sylvanus Dauncey,
our manager, that our receipts in both Harrogate
and Buxton had beaten the previous visit of The
Walls ; it made the profits seem far less problemati-
cal and, in fact, induced a spirit of gaiety which
found vent in the composing of a song, entitled
" Problematical," which is not yet published.

From Buxton to Birkenhead was a disturbing
transition, only made palatable by the solicitude for
one's comfort shown by mine host Turner of the
Woodside Hotel, whom I had eventually to accuse

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of trying to make me over-eat, his excuse being that
it was a treat to supply good things to an apprecia-
tive customer. One of the great charms of Birken-
head is the ease with which one can leave it for
Hoylake, Wallasey and other good golf links, while,
if excitement is a desideratum, Liverpool is close
handy ; two or three of us adjourned there on
Saturday night after the play, to be most hospitably
entertained at the Racquet Club, from where we
journeyed home by the ferry at three o'clock to the
accompaniment of a chill wind and strong drizzle.

Having some time to wait for the boat we very
nearly succeeded in bribing the skipper of a rival line
to put us over, but as he was honest enough to admit
that he didn't think they would allow his boat to go
alongside the landing stage we relinquished the idea,
not wishing to do a " round trip " with a possibility
of being blown out to sea and landing in New
York.

We had a "week out" after Birkenhead, which
seemed such a pity, as none of the company intended
to go to London, that I suggested a two-night visit
to West Kirby on the principle of half-a-loaf being
better than no bread, and after a " prospecting " visit
we decided to run the risk, with the gratifying result
that the half-loaf turned out to have quite a good
sprinkling of currants.

I was allowed to go to town for two days on the
distinct understanding that I was to return and show
myself for two days in West Kirby before we played,
a rumour having got about that I was not appearing,

9*

OCULAR DEMONSTRATION

though advertised, a trick which, we were informed,
had been played there before.

That the rumour undoubtedly existed was speedily
proved to me on my return to West Kirby in mid-
week according to promise, for at the moment of my
appearance for a round of golf at Hoylake the same
afternoon I was greeted by more than one acquaint-
ance with such remarks as: "You really are here
then?"— "Going to perform in West Kirby?"—
' That's good, we hardly liked to believe it. " The last
remark, seeming to imply a certain slur on this de-
lightful little seaside resort, appeared to me to court
an inquiry, the result of which was the disclosure
of the name of a well-known artist who advertised
an appearance and made no excuse whatever for
failing to make it, leaving a hiatus in the cast very
moderately filled by a substitute.

We had great trouble in adapting our full-sized
scenery to the dimensions of the local hall, and in
consequence each " strike and set " took more than
double the usual time, with the result that it was
past eleven before we came to the last act ; I sug-
gested that, to save time, we should play it in the
same scene as Act 3, although it took place in
another person's house; the management received
my suggestion with acclamation, and a few words of
explanation from me to the audience produced an
evident feeling of relief at the prospect of an earlier
release than expected, there being an evident inten-
tion to " see the thing through " at whatever cost.
The receipts were said to be the largest taken since

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MORE RUTLAND HARRINGTON

the hall was opened, with the usual exception (of
course) of the annual amateur charity performance
for the glorification of local budding talent.

Actors on tour become so accustomed to spending
the major part of each Sunday in a train that my
experience of the Sunday following West Kirby
would perhaps hardly be regarded as phenomenal,
but, to me, was something of a record.

We were due at Southport, and I left Kirby about
nine-thirty to go, via Liverpool, to Formby Golf Club,
where my old friends, Tait, Ralli and Wellman, were
awaiting me for a four-ball match, after playing which
I went in to Southport to dress, back to Liverpool for
a very excellent dinner, then again to Southport,
about eleven, for a bridge-party, which broke up
at one-fifteen, this early hour being necessitated by
a rehearsal at eleven the next morning; not a bad
day for a veteran.

One of the married members of the company, whose
wife was also playing in the piece, took advantage of
a seaside week to have his little daughter with her
nurse down, and also the "granny," and, with this
small flotilla in tow, arrived at the rooms he had
engaged ; the landlady, it appeared, was somewhat
unaccustomed to what she termed "theatricals" (a very
frequent way of alluding to members of the profession),
and had also had a somewhat exciting experience the
week before, when her tenant was what she described
as a " musical-comedy young woman," who had been
visited by a large number of friends not too particular
as to the length of their stay, and the cleaning of

94

A LANDLADY WITH DOUBTS

whose boots she strongly resented. She at first
refused to take my friend and his belongings in at
all, in spite of the self-evident respectability of grand-
mother, nurse and child. It was the wife she had
doubts of, and only gave way and admitted the party
on receiving an indignant answer from the husband
to her. last question, " Will there be many gentlemen
after your wife ? "

There was a very jealous feeling among Southport
residents and visitors just at this time, its object
being Blackpool, its healthy rival, whose enterprising
councillors had launched into the highly attractive
(in both senses) speculation of an Aviation Week.

The great question was : " Why should not South-
port, with its unrivalled foreshore, also have a fly ? " —
and party feeling ran higher than many of the airmen
eventually succeeded in doing. Such a subject could
not, of course, be neglected in my topical song, and
I gave them a local aviation verse, the success of
which was a recommendation to the airmen to fall,
if they must fall, in the water — if they could find it ?
For a really (and deservedly) popular seaside resort
I believe you will find less sea at Southport than
anywhere else, but I fancy that is regarded as one of
the features of its many attractions ; and the artificial
lake appears to more than counterbalance the de-
ficiency, an additional joy being provided in the
fragile-looking car, hung on a wire, in which you
can be slung across it — if you like.

After so many weeks of "the simple life," the
hospitality of my friends in Liverpool must have got

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into my veins, with the result that I was impelled
to give a supper-party at the very comfortable hotel
at which I was staying.

With that spirit of delightful reciprocity which in
my experience has never yet failed in the ladies of my
profession, I found no difficulty in securing a supper
partner for each of my male guests, and the result
was one of those very cheery evenings which one does
not soon forget.

The ladies left us at a discreet hour, and after a
few rubbers of bridge we agreed that an early break-
up was desirable, my friends being all hommes
d'affaires, so accordingly about four-thirty we retired,
all of us being very merry, and the most merry of
all developing an exaggerated politeness which was
highly amusing.

I was much struck with the firm announcements
made as to the hour of the next morning's departure
of these business men. Two of them declined to be
sent off before noon, while the third was compelled to
take the earliest train available, but when I came
down to breakfast at eleven the virtuous one had
not appeared, while the two confessed lie-a-beds
had 'caught the train he had spoken of! This un-
doubtedly points to the fallacy of making overnight
resolutions, and seems to place them in the same
category with those of the New Year.

During the next Sunday's journey I attempted to
give a lesson, to one or two of the company, on
auction bridge, having played it at least once myself
and knowing next to nothing of the game and

96

AUCTION BRIDGE

nothing of the rules ; my partner was an otherwise
very bright lady of the company, but to some extent
lacking the card brain, who declined absolutely to
realise the enormity of calling "one diamond" be-
cause she held the ace single. I happened to have
enough to let us get our contract, which was fatal to
her chance of ever learning the game, as whenever
the incident was alluded to, as a " shocking example,"
she remarked triumphantly : " Well, it came off, old
dear!"

While on the subject of bridge I cannot help
wondering if I am alone in remarking an increase, or
so it seems to me, in the number of players who
seem compelled to discuss the playing of each hand
with an acrimonious and dictatorial manner very
much to be deprecated. Surely the possession of
recognised skill does not warrant the giving of un-
sought instruction, especially when given in the
manner I allude to, and when to this is added the
aggravation of such instruction from the brains of a
notoriously unqualified exponent, it becomes difficult
to bear with equanimity. We are told that example
is better than precept, but bad examples appear more
easy of imitation than good, and it seems, to put it
mildly, unfortunate that so many players are depriv-
ing themselves of their enjoyment rather than lay
themselves open to the annoyance. Most golfers
are strict in their observance of the etiquette of the
game, and there is yet to be invented a game more
trying to the temper, so why should we not have a
printed work on the etiquette of bridge, which we
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MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

could place courteously in the hands of the trans-
gressor.

In order to thoroughly realise that I was " on
tour " I determined to try the experiment of " rooms "
when in Cheltenham for the week, leaving the
selection to Edwards, the Frobisher of the play, and
Lambert Plummer, with whom I proposed a manly
menage a trois ; we were waited on by one of the
weirdest landlady's daughters I ever encountered, of
a certain and uncertain age, a figure about which
there was no uncertainty, a habit of wearing, at all
hours, a large and dilapidated tam-o'-shanter. She in-
formed us that her name was Mrs Paget, and that she
was a widow, whereupon Plummer inquired genially
if she were by any chance related to the "wicked
Pagets " ; she seemed to think she might be, and on
the morning of our departure confided to Plummer
that she undoubtedly was.

I had my first experience of being driven by a lady
chauffeur this week, my cousin, Miss Faithfull, the
principal of the Ladies College, being the artist, and
evidently a very capable one ; some of the residents
whom we met on our tour of the town betrayed a
certain surprise on recognising her companion, not
being aware of our relationship, which amused us
both greatly, as we could easily imagine them discuss-
ing the unwonted frivolity on the part of a lady of
such a responsible position ; however,! have not heard
since that she has been asked to resign.

98

CHAPTER IX

TOURING — A MEMBER OF TATTERSALLS — FLYING
MATINEES — RINKING

FROM Cheltenham to Southend was a change which
offered much food for reflection in various directions,
even the trains in which we made the rather toilsome
journey evidencing a sense of the transmutation from
moderate luxury to the advisability of getting there
somehow, in something with a none too prepossessing
exterior and a pronounced lack of interior comfort.

A walk along the parade in a fairly fresh breeze
appealed to me as the best vacuum -cleaner available,
but I was scarcely prepared for the extraordinary
coram publico manner in which the younger
visitors and residents of the town devoted themselves
to the commissariat department. I had never before
seen, in so limited an area, such an astonishing
number of babies as were here assembled, most of
them of a very immature age, and all, without ex-
ception, bent on satisfying a very natural thirst in
a beautiful natural manner.

The Southend mothers indubitably recognise the
truth of the poet's dictum that there is no more
beautiful thing to be seen than a mother suckling
her child ; but when the picture is presented ad
infinitum the eye of a mere man becomes sated with

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its beauty, turns introspective and awakens disturb-
ing thoughts of future possibilities.

I discussed the subject with a friendly, if some-
what familiar, waiter at my hotel, and he informed
me that I should have promenaded " the other cliff,"
where nothing of the kind obtains ; his advice was
sound, as I afterwards discovered, and during my
stay I did not again trespass into the day-nursery.

The audiences here are, I was told, very apprecia-
tive, if rather critical, and our acting-manager
strongly advised " no serious matter " in my sketch,
but having carefully rehearsed a semi-serious song,
interleaved, so to speak, with a few lines of spoken
verse, I was not to be put off giving it, which I did
in some trepidation, with the unexpected result of
the serious portion of the number receiving the
greater applause. One never knows !

Three nights and a matinee, it appears, exhaust the
theatre-goers of Southend, so that this week brought
me a strong reminder of my old " Entertainment "
days in the shape of a weary journey on the Thursday
from Southend to Tonbridge Wells, slightly solaced
by an hour's wait at Liverpool Street, giving time for
a visit to one of Sweetings' delightful houses for shell-
fish and appetising sandwiches of varied delicacies
dear to the palates of the working bees in the city-
hive.

In view of the storming of Tonbridge at some
totally indefinite hour — it was only eleven o'clock
then — Plummer and I provisioned our compartment
with a consignment of shrimps and lobsters (" Actors

100

A RAFFLE

and fish," once again), which, on arrival, completed
a menu such as an ostrich might have selected, con-
sisting of the aforesaid shellfish, flanked with hot
bacon and welsh -rarebits, and aided by a strong
solution of Lager ; certainly no ostrich could have
felt better after a meal than did we after this one.

Tonbridge Wells will always dwell in my memory
as being the place where, for the first time in my life,
I won the prize in a raffle. As a matter of fact it
was not " the " prize, but a consolation offered to the
lowest throw of the dice, otherwise I think I should
have retained my record ; I should not have won
this had it been anything I really wanted, and, as
I could not very well take on tour a canary in a
cage, I re-raffled it and handed the money to the
stage-hands for drinks ; I was horribly afraid I might
win it again, but it was won by its former owner, the
property-man, who was a bit of a humorist, and
remarked on my winning it : " Well, guv'nor, I
expect that's the first time you ever got the bird."

For the benefit of the uninitiated I will explain
that " getting the bird " is theatricalese for being
hissed. The expression is somewhat difficult of
comprehension, but is, I presume, attributable to the
unpopularity of the human with the goosebird ; this
has a subtle significance which may possibly account
for the more modern manner of expressing disap-
proval, which is by " booing."

Every artist has, I imagine, experienced and
suffered from that extraordining laugh which so
closely resembles a hiss ; I myself have frequently

IOI

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

been disturbed by it, but not of late years, and, in
most cases at least, the artist has the consolation
that expressions of disapproval are not levelled at
him but at the author.

From " The Wells " we journeyed to Folkestone,
where I had a great welcome at the hands of my old
friend, George Grossmith, who has chosen it as a
cheery and healthy place of retirement after long
years of hard work. That he is by no means past work
he demonstrated by accepting the task of composing
the music for a song of mine written for George
Giddens to sing in The Merry Peasant ; it was never
used by Giddens, and I never heard the reason why,
but I have the song as a pleasant souvenir of associa-
tion with my old comrade of the Savoy.

We had an addition to the company here, in the
shape of a brother of Plummer, home on leave from
" Cow-punching," who " walked on " in the ballroom
scene, which afforded him so much amusement as to
rank as "the time of his life," such is the glamour
of the stage to the simple-minded backwoodsman.

Eastbourne is another town which fits into the same
week with one of its neighbours, in this case Folke-
stone, and I was pleased to renew my acquaintance
with the golf links which were the scene of my
debut ; they have been considerably changed since
then, but some of the old holes still give me the
feeling of being like a fly on a wall, so steep are the
hills.

For some few weeks past we had had heavy ad-
ditional work on our shoulders owing to the arrange-

IO2

IN "A MEMBER OF TATTERSALLS

' TATTERSALLS "

ment we had entered into to produce, in Brighton,
an "entirely new and original" three-act comedy,
which had been submitted to me as containing a part
which might appeal to me — as it did, very strongly
indeed.

One of the greatest difficulties in connection with
the production was the imperative necessity for cast-
ing it among the members of our touring company,
as otherwise it would have been next to impossible
to adequately rehearse it.

The inevitable result of this condition was the
presence of one or two square pegs in round holes,
one part in particular requiring a stronger and older
character actor than was included in the company.
However, in spite of these little drawbacks, the task
was attacked with the genuine enthusiasm invariably
displayed by all players in exploiting new material
by a new author, and the result was a performance
which did not leave more to be desired than was
inevitable, and in one or two directions proved better
than was expected.

Not being unduly superstitious — I say "unduly"
because experience tells me that superstition, genuine
or assumed, is rampant among the members of my
piofession — we selected the Friday in the week for
the productions of our bantling, which was called
A Member of Tattersatts.

The prevalence of superstition amongst artists by
no means implies a monopoly of the foolishness, if
such it be ; we have all heard people state : " I am
not superstitious, but I would no more do such-and-

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such a thing on a Friday than fly." The bridge
player is not superstitious, but if he wins the deal
invariably takes the winning seat ; these examples
might be continued ad infinitum, but two are
sufficient to demonstrate that, while the ordinary
person denies the accusation of being superstitious,
the artist honestly admits it, and will beg of you,
with the gravest face, not to whistle in a theatre, for
fear of whistling yourself or someone else, out of it.
The superstition with regard to passing someone on
the staircase is, as far as I can gather, only indulged
in by members of the gentler sex, who will turn
round and go back to the next landing sooner than
run the risk ; all inquiries as to the penalty involved
by a breach of this superstition have hitherto proved
fruitless, and, knowing the feminine capacity for
retaining a secret, one is forced to the conclusion
that the penalty must be non-existent, or at least
innocuous to man.

Superstition of all kinds has always had a strong
fascination for me. I am one of those who " do not
believe" though I may practise, but being fully
awake to the danger of letting my pencil run away
with me (I use pens only for letters) I will end
this digression with the statement that I have no
particular dislike to Fridays, and was not unduly
disturbed at that night being chosen for our produc-
tion. It is of course possible that the local manage-
ment selected this night as not supposed to be quite
the best from a business point of view, but fully
meeting the requirements of an experiment ; if any

104

PROVINCIAL PRODUCTION

such idea existed it was most pleasantly dispelled
by the fact of the receipts being larger than on any
other night of the week, and the audience most
gratify ingly enthusiastic.

The practice of a provincial production for a new
play has at least one undoubted advantage — that of
precluding any possibility of securing the presence in
front of the kindly army of friends and well wishers,
invariably procurable in London, anxious to give
a good send-off to author and players, and, as a
natural consequence, providing a more genuine test
of the prospects of the play, alike from the commercial
and artistic points of view.

It was therefore very pleasant to find that, although
we had a most friendly audience, it was not an audi-
ence of friends at the start, though wellwishers they
probably were, and most decidedly became friends as
the play progressed, and the character of the honest,
straightforward old Book-maker, with his blundering
but good-hearted efforts to secure the happiness of
his only daughter, appealed to their sympathies, and
found its way to their hearts.

One member of the audience, with whom I was
slightly acquainted, paid me a visit at the end of the
play, and said he "liked it immensely, and remem-
bered seeing it in London ! " He could hardly have
read the programme, which he carried in this hand,
for, as the result of careful and round-about question-
ing, I elicited the fact that he imagined he had assisted
at a performance of The Walls of Jericho.

Although perhaps not very valuable as a proof of

MORE RUTLAND HARRINGTON

discrimination on the part of the maker, this criticism
was certainly a two-edged compliment to the new
play ; for while it was undoubtedly pleasing to have
it mistaken for the best-known, and most deservedly
popular, work of a tried author, it also indicated the
existence of plagiarism, for which there was not a
single iota of foundation.

The business for the week at Brighton suffered
considerably in my estimation from that detestable
modern invention (from the touring manager's point
of view) — the flying matinee.

The custom, which has arisen of late years, of trans-
porting a noted London success, bodily, for one after-
noon, to certain towns near enough to allow of a
return in time for the usual evening performance,
does not, I venture to think, offer sufficient advan-
tages to either the London or provincial manage-
ment to warrant the continuance of the practice.
The profit made by the former can hardly be held
to compensate for the trouble taken, not to mention
the inevitable fatigue to the artists engaged, which
must have its effect in a less spontaneous performance
in the more important locale where the play is
running.

The local manager can, of course, reckon on at
least one good house during the week, for which,
however, he has to surrender a far larger percentage ;
but, in order to secure this house, he discounts the
value of attraction of the touring company which he
is sheltering for the week, and deliberately asks his
clients to save their money for the one performance,

106

FLYING MATINEES

for which he usually doubles his prices. Another
just grievance, which I think the touring manager
has, lies in the fact that he finds the town ablaze
with printing concerning the flying matine'e, while his
own modest appeals for patronage have, in some cases,
to be sought for ; also — it is the custom for the
announcements of the following week's attraction to
be put in evidence on the Thursday or Friday of the
week before, while the flying matine'e may be largely
advertised and billed for some length of time previ-
ously, surely a manifestly unfair method of procedure.
Of course, one may be told that the weekly attraction
is in truth a weakly one, and hence the flying matine'e
to balance things, but who is to tell us whether it
would not have been possible to secure a stronger
attraction had the flying matine'e not been seen
hovering in the middle distance ?

I am not holding a brief for or against any touring
manager or provincial theatre, but only in the cause
of " live and let live."

We are constantly being told of the difficulty
actors have in securing a living wage, but the
manager must perforce cut his coat according to his
cloth, and I cannot but think the flying matine'e
a great factor in the reduction of the material, and
one which, if persevered with, will, ipso facto, depre-
ciate the efficiency of touring companies, through the
inability of managers to pay such terms as are the
legitimate demand of the competent artists.

This particular " flying matine'e " was not, however,
entirely without its pleasant feature to me ; I under-

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stood that my dressing-room would be required for
use by one of the artists, and having carefully col-
lected all my belongings, and stored them carefully
on one table, I had them covered with a large dust-
ing sheet, to which I pinned a note, requesting the
occupier to "kindly refrain from disturbing them."

It was with no little pleasure and amusement that
I found an answering note on my looking-glass that
evening which read :

" DEAR MR BARRINGTON, — Many thanks for your
room. In spite of great curiosity I have not even
peeped 1 Yours sincerely, ELLIS JEFFRIES."

From sunny Brighton to breezy Blackpool was
another contrast, our arrival being greeted with a
strong gale of wind and heavy rains, both of which
continued at intervals during the week. As the
Aviation Festival was to take place the following
week, faces began to get longer and longer in antici-
pation of failure, but luckily it was not realised.

Going home one night after work, I turned on to
the front, and found myself facing the strongest wind I
think I have ever experienced. Had it been gusty,
walking would have been impossible, and it was only
the steady force of it which allowed of any progression
against it, and when I turned I was blown along at
a pace which would have done credit to my old
sprinting days.

The circumstance that fixed this particular gale in
my memory was the marvellous effect it produced in

1 08

BLACKPOOL

playing on and through The Tower; there was a
deep, varying diapason note, like the groaning of
some monster in distress, and above that a mighty
rustling that one's fancy could easily imagine to be
caused by the wings of a countless horde of demons
let loose on a voyage of destruction ; the combined
effects of a cheery fire and hot supper being needed
to convince that " the end was not yet."

An agreeable interlude to the austerities of this
week was provided by the presence of my old friend
Vere Clay Ker Seymer, who was the organiser for
the Aviation Week. We had supper together on
several occasions at the Tower Restaurant, where
the cooking left nothing to be desired, and where he
was to be found on most evenings surrounded by a
crowd of genial and admiring aldermen and town
councillors, drinking in the words of wisdom he let
fall, to a liquid accompaniment of their own choos-
ing. Vere, as is well known, is an excellent ra-
conteur, and one of his efforts, I remember, amused
the aldermanic entourage immensely ; his uncle,
Cecil Clay, was playing bridge at a " mixed " party,
and at a late hour, when breaking up was discussed,
a very charming lady announced that, having only
won two pounds ten, she was not going to bed,
whereupon Clay remarked : "A most praiseworthy
resolution. I shall be happy to make it a fiver ! "

I went as usual during the week for a round or
two of golf at St Anne's, and on one occasion proved
to my companion's satisfaction that all railway
servants are not as smart as they might wish us to

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believe; we had third-class tickets, and on the re-
turn journey, owing to the crowded state of the train,
we travelled second. The collector demanded excess,
which my friend paid, but as, for some reason, I had
not parted with the " outward " half of my ticket, I
pointed out to him that in getting a whole ticket it
must cover any excess due — it puzzled him for a
moment, but he eventually saw the justice of it, and
retired minus the excess.

My companion, having paid, felt that he had been
defrauded, but the next day he had his revenge, as,
having taken both our tickets, he informed me on the
return journey that he had lost mine. I therefore
had to pay, and it never occurred to me till later to ask
how he knew that it was my ticket and not his own
that was lost.

I paid my first visit to an Aerodrome here, and
was much impressed with the space required and the
enormous sheds built for the machines, but lost
interest to a great extent on finding that none of the
latter had arrived — in fact one propeller, unattached,
was all that was in evidence to gratify the curiosity
of some hundreds of confiding trippers — myself
among the number — who had paid their hardly
earned shillings of entrance money.

Why is it that, whatever may be your point of
departure, a journey to Leeds invariably creates a
feeling of depression ? It is a thoroughly hospitable
town, and a good entertainment never fails in attract-
ing large and appreciative audiences, and yet one
views a visit with a certain amount of apprehension.

no

RINKING

Having received a hint of an existing predilection for
strong fare I substituted one of my old Coliseum
scenas for the musical entertainment, and my old
friend The Tramp emerged from his retirement with
some success.

Another old friend also appeared during the week,
in the person of Cyril Maude, who was at the rival
house with The Flag Lieutenant, and I took advan-
tage of a matinee to see the play for the first time.
I enjoyed it thoroughly, especially the scene of the
great fight, and was much impressed with the power
of the Admiral to countermand a court martial at
his discretion.

Blackburn was a town which I had never pre-
viously visited and which afforded me agreeable
surprises in several ways. One of these was my first
experience in rinking — that is, up-to-date rinking, as
I was one of its early martyrs in the boom of — well
—some years ago. My skates on this occasion ran
away with me better than I did with them, and the
sight of a sweet little girl of some five years of age
cutting figures of eights, threes and sixteens, with all
the airs and graces of a St Moritz champion, so im-
pressed me with the lack of distinction about my
own figures of fifty (odd) that I speedily arrived at
the conclusion that rinking was not my forte, and I
have sternly discouraged any further efforts.

I was confirmed in this resolve by witnessing a
rink hockey match, in which the outdoor costume
seemed ridiculously out of place and the attitudes
of the players on a par with the dress.

in

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There can be no doubt that the overwhelming
popularity of this amusement largely affected for
some time the prosperity of the provincial theatres,
but, partly owing to the plethora of rinks, and
possibly greatly to the monotony of the exercise,
there are not wanting signs of the waning of the
affections of its devotees ; it may possibly revive with
the invention of a skate or floor which will mitigate
the fiendish noise, which the efforts of an even excel-
lent orchestra, conspicuous by its rarity, only seems
to accentuate.

Another agreeable surprise was the manner in
which my little sketch and songs were received by
audiences which I had been given to understand
were only influenced by the " dramatic touch," and
here again the pleasure found its concomitant pain
in a remark made by a casual acquaintance who in-
formed me that he had taken his " missus " to the
play and that while she had thoroughly enjoyed it
she had quite failed to see "what the prologue had
to do with it ! " I began to wonder if people ever
read their programmes, and on putting that question
to the local manager in one of the towns we visited
he told me that a large percentage of his patrons
never took programmes, but gathered all the infor-
mation they thought necessary from the advertise-
ment hoardings. And yet we are told that we are not
a thrifty nation !

113

CHAPTER X

SWINDON AND HUNTING — TORQUAY AND ONIONS

PAIGNTON AND " PIRATES "

ONE of the penalties of touring with a piece that has
been played almost everywhere presents itself in the
necessity for avoiding certain towns where it has
either been seen too often or too lately to render
another visit advisable, even though it may be the
only stepping stone to the next Eldorado, and it is this
penalty which brings in its train the infliction of
some of those wild flights from north to south, and
vice versa, of which the column " On the Road " in
The Referee every Sunday affords such frequent
proof.

Our Blackburn to Dalston jaunt was a case in
point, mitigated to a great extent by the prospect of
living at home for a whole week, a joy which had
some of the edge taken off it by the circuitous and
lengthy route involved in the practice of this domestic
virtue.

It was my first experience of this suburb, and I
was much struck with the courtesy of an absolute
stranger who greeted me by name on the station
platform, surmised that it was my first visit and
insisted on showing me the way to the theatre,
which I found was just outside the station ; I smelt
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an autograph hunter, but was wrong : it was only the
desire of an old Savoy admirer to have speech with
one of the admired.

There was an old gentleman in the front row of
the stalls at the matine'e — a position I was told that
he occupies at every matine'e of every play — with
a magnificent laugh which infected the rest of the
house so delightfully that it would be worth the
while of any management to secure his attendance
in perpetuo at a decent salary, but on the other hand
this might mean putting an extinguisher on his
enjoyment, it being a notorious fact that " deadheads "
very rarely consider that they are getting value for
the money they have not expended.

There was a peculiar system of " Benefit Tickets "
in use here, which was explained to me at some
length by our manager, but which I entirely failed to
comprehend, except in so far as grasping the facts
that it meant a considerable difference, against us,
in the accounts, and that the buyers of these tickets
would not have been there if they had not bought
them — which may be probable if not obvious.

From Dalston we journeyed to another suburb,
of a somewhat more open aspect, called Swindon,
where our efforts to amuse met with a responsive
enthusiasm entirely out of proportion with the size
of the audiences.

It is perfectly true that an appreciative audience,
however small, is a great incentive, but an irritating
frequency of this great incentive is apt to become
also a trifle monotonous, and had it not been for

114

THE V.W.H.

some delightful experiences outside the town it is
just possible that we might have regarded Swindon
with a certain amount of disfavour.

These experiences were chiefly derived from days
with the Badminton Hunt and the V.W.H., Swindon
being an excellent centre for both packs.

On the Tuesday, Plummer and I put in a very
strenuous day, the meet of the V. W.H. was at Haylane
Wharf, which we were told was " about three miles
out." It turned out to be a good four, and we just
missed the meet, however we " nicked in " later on ;
had lots of fun over hills and through some very
thorny hedges and eventually saw three kills, one of
them taking place in a pond, which I believe is rather
exceptional ; all three foxes were bolted out of a
drain, and the third, a big dog fox, might have given
a good run with a little more law allowed him.
Four miles out and four back, not to mention the
hunting, formed a capital hors d'ceuvre for a short
nap, a long steak, and the play as a savoury.

The next day, by way of a rest, we strolled out to
historic Wrougton, to lunch with my old friend
Arthur Gordon, the well-known gentleman rider
and trainer, where after lunch we proceeded to pass
criticism of a totally uninspired nature on the horses
under his charge. One of our party took the prize in
this connection by remarking, " that's a likely-looking
colt your man is exercising," to which our host
replied : " Ah, that's rather a novelty you are looking
at — he's a six-year-old being broken 1 "

Thursday found us at Wootton Bassett for a meet of

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the Duke of Beaufort's hounds, and even the un-
initiated eye could not fail to be struck with their
quality and also that of the mounts of the hunt
servants, the horse Dale was riding looking as if he
might be trained to win a Grand National.

We had the great good luck to see a lovely piece
of hound work from our vantage point of the top
of the hill at Vasterne, where they found, and went
away across the canal, when he turned right-handed,
doubled back, crossed the canal again, through a
large woodyard, and then held right away behind
us. There were three checks, and it was beautiful
to see the hounds working and picking up the line
again, we having the fox in view all the time ; after
the third they streamed over the railway, and, as
a matter of course, there was a train passing, but the
driver saw them in time, and stopped till every hound
was safe over (I could almost hear the language
used by an indignant passenger who disapproved
of hunting, though the train was half-a-mile away)
and the last we saw of them was when, after leaving
the wood -pile, they were going at a tremendous bat
up the meadows at the back of us, with the fox in
view, towards Cliffe Pyford, where, we heard later
on, they lost him, but after wandering about for
two or three hours, attracted in different direc-
tions by the distant music of the pack, and eventu-
ally giving it up, we were passing Vasterne on our
way to the station when we saw a very tired fox,
which I fully believe was the one they had been
hunting, stealing up a hedgerow towards the covert,

116

HIS GRACE THE DUKE OF BEAUFORT

THE BADMINTON

having gallantly saved his brush for a future occa-
sion.

By the courtesy of the Duke of Beaufort I am
enabled to publish the photograph which accompanies
this chapter, the original of which will remain a
pleasant souvenir of a most enjoyable outing, and
one which will go far to reconcile me to another
professional visit to Swindon should opportunity
offer.

Two of the ladies of the company were out with
us this day, and Miss Trevor Lloyd, who knew the
country, having ridden to hounds herself at one
time, was almost more than my match as a foot-
follower, but then, as I pointed out, she was hardly
such a weight-carrier as myself.

Friday saw us out again with the V.W.H. at
Minety Old Inn, a most delightfully picturesque
little spot, but it was a poor day's sport, consisting
chiefly of bucketing about the roads, the monotony
of which was, however, in my case, greatly relieved
by the presence of the charming wife of an old friend
who gave me a seat in a " tub " whch had just room
for our two selves and lunch, but I fancy that my
presence was resented by the well-fed pony who drew
us, though she ought to have been friendly, being
known as Santoi ; possibly she felt hurt at an in-
judicious comparison I made between her figure and
that of Florence Collingbourne, the original Santoi ;
but that something had ruffled her usually quiet
nature was undoubtedly the case, for when I was
standing at her head, holding the bridle, while hounds

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were drawing a covert, she made a determined effort
to lunch off my arm, and in being denied the eagerly
sought delicacy became so unruly that I was unable
to hold her, much to the amusement of my hostess's
little daughter, who presented a very pretty picture
riding astride of her hunter, and who inquired if the
original Santoi had expressed her dislike in the same
manner.

She (the pony) took her revenge by delaying so
long when the hounds at last found that we were
"thrown out," and I left to walk to the station,
when she started to carry her mistress home with
a dash which said plainly : " Good-bye to you,
Mr Incubus!"

By way of getting comfortably from Swindon to
Exeter, our next town, I went to London by a
rather early train on the Sunday morning. While
waiting on the platform I attracted a certain amount
of interest on the part of local inhabitants who had
seen me at the theatre during the week, but on the
arrival of the train I was completely overshadowed
by the presence of Winston Churchill, fresh from
his encounter with the suffragette's whip at Bristol,
who appeared at the window of his carriage in search
of Sunday papers. It was rather gratifying to have
the proof offered that the stage is not the only pro-
fession the members of which possess the human
desire to read their " notices."

A wonderful non-stop run from London to Exeter
impresses one greatly with the improved conditions
of travelling, but there is always the crumpled rose-

118

SCHEME TO SECURE AN AUDIENCE

leaf, I imagine, and in this case it presented itself in
the poor quality of the lunch provided on board. It
seems a great pity that the catering is not restricted
to a well-selected and well-cooked joint, or cutlets,
or chickens, which I firmly believe would be more
appreciated by the consumers than the present rather
pretentious effort at a four-course meal, some portion
of which is bound to suffer, if only on account of the
limited space of the cuisine, but, after all, perhaps this
is hypercritical when one remembers what the journey
meant in — say, only fifteen years ago.

There is another weird device in use at the theatre
here, to make sure of a good audience on the Monday
night, always, I admit, a desirable object, which takes
the form of " Shareholders' Night," the privilege to
these fortunates being that of going into any part of
the house at half-price. They were very much in
evidence on that night, but I failed to observe any
pronounced efforts on their part to swell their divi-
dends by further appearances, which suggested a doubt
as to the efficiency of the scheme : we naturally could
not ascribe it to our want of power to amuse. It
is a charming little theatre, excellently managed, and
a delightful old town to visit, but it always seems
a pity to work at a loss, as we did, in spite of the
fact that the business was the best done for some
time, and possibly it may be true, as I was told, that
the townspeople have not yet forgotten the terrible
disaster which overtook the old house ; it is to be
hoped that this feeling will wear off, and the theatre
resume its former popularity.

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The Guildhall is quite one of the sights of the
place, and is well worth visiting, its age being lost in
the vista of years, the earliest known thing about it
is its being restored in 1536! The custodian of the
place gave us the usual guide-book information, and
was in grave doubt as to whether I should not visit the
dungeons after I had insisted on occupying the
Judge's bench, and singing the Judge's song from Trial
by Jury, with Plummer as " the crowd in court."

Mr Richards, the genial chairman of the board at
the theatre, gave us a delightful day at Budleigh
Salterton, a capital golf-course with ideal surround-
ings, and we wound up the week with a meet of the
Devon and Somerset foxhounds at the beautiful
little village of St Mary's Clyst — where for the first
time within my recollection I was photographed by
accident, knowing nothing of it until the operator
came to the theatre with a proof, he himself having
found out by chance that I was standing close to
the hounds when he took them. It was a pleasant
souvenir of an interesting day, but disconcerting to
find that my attitude and expression were calculated
to give the impression that I was stage-managing the
whole hunt.

On arriving at Torquay the following Sunday,
without having made previous arrangements for due
lodgment, I yielded to the kindly persuasions of
Plummer and his cow-punching brother to accom-
pany them to the rooms they had booked, and
ascertain if an extra bedroom was available. We
had spent a very cheery week under the same roof

iao

ONIONS

at Exeter, and it was only an unwonted display of
tact on my part, caused by the reflection that, in
view of his approaching departure, the brothers might
like to be alone together, which had suggested a
temporary dissolution of partnership. I therefore
yielded, as gracefully as my figure would permit, to
their invitation, but on the opening of the massive
front door of their joint residence we were greeted
with such a positively overwhelming reek of onions
as to cause us all to fall back some feet in a panic of
dismay, and force me to recognise the advisability of
reconnoitring elsewhere. It was then only ten-thirty,
we having come by an early train for this purpose,
and the brothers kindly came to help in my search,
during which hour conversation naturally turned on
the heinous offence of saturating other people's apart-
ments with a powerful odour of a possibly unwelcome
nature. Plummer was particularly emphatic in his
condemnation of the proceeding, until he suddenly
remembered that he, as caterer-in-chief, had ordered
the onions himself. This, of course, put an entirely
new aspect on the affair, " the obnoxious reek "
transmuted itself automatically into "an appetising
smell," and finally, having disposed of myself and
my belongings in a harbour of refuge elsewhere, I
returned to their abode to render what assistance
I could in the demolishing of the excellent fare which
accompanied the delicious vegetable.

Having made a solemn vow to practise the virtue
of economy, I determined that a light tea would be
sufficient sustenance for the rest of the day, but the

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solitariness of my rooms, after the cheery companion-
ship of the preceding week, combined with the early
hour at which we had gathered the onions, drove me
forth to seek the solace of a late dinner at a hotel.

With my vow still reproaching me, as it were,
with my weakness, I ordered a modest pint of bur-
gundy with the diner a prixfixe of five shillings (the
only available meal) and proceeded as usual to enjoy
the book I was then reading without paying any atten-
tion to the waiter until I required a drink, when I
found my glass filled with hock. I called him and
drew his attention to the mistake and he asserted
that the number I had ordered was the wine he had
brought ; having no particular objection to hock I
said no more, but I felt a certain annoyance, which
was increased on finding it charged on the bill at
five shillings and sixpence. I have a suspicion that
it was the last pint of a wine which was seldom
called for and of which they were anxious to be
rid. Thus was my vow broken for me by a waiter,
and in sheer distress at the fact I committed the
further lapse of an eighteenpenny cigar, coffee and
liqueur, and returned to my rooms with the mixed
sensations of millionairism and gross extravagance.

The contiguity of Paignton naturally brought to
my memory the recollection that it was the scene of
the first and copyright performance of Gilbert and
Sullivan's opera, The Pirates of Penzance, in which
the part of Sergeant of Police was played by my old
friend Fred Billington, who is, as a matter of fact,
still playing it with Mrs Carte's repertoire company

123

T. R. PAIGNTON

in the provinces. The part fell to me when the
piece was done in London, and I felt a keen interest
in visiting the locale of its birth at the Bijou
Theatre, Paignton, but to my dismay I could find
no trace of any such theatre. Having secured the
attention of "the oldest inhabitant" I elicited the
fact that "he thought he'd heard on plays being
given at the old hotel yonder," and sure enough, on
inquiring of the courteous and hospitable landlord,
Mr Webb, I was shown what remained of the Bijou
Theatre, in former times the only place of entertain-
ment in the little town.

The stage has been converted into a billiard-room,
and folding-doors shut it off from what was the tiny
auditorium, but to my surprise there was no com-
memorative tablet to be seen recording the honour
the little room had received, an omission, however,
which Mr Webb declared he should speedily rectify.

Several members of our company being with me,
including Miss Trevor Lloyd, who has sung several of
the soprano parts in these operas, we gave an excerpt
from the Pirates in the shape of the chorus of Police,
she representing Mabel and 1 the entire police force,
and other friends filling in the bits they knew, and,
according to my intimate knowledge of the music,
the bits they did not.

It was a joyous quarter of an hour, and greatly
amused the landlord and his entire staff, among
whom was the inevitable old waiter, who might have
been present at the copyright performance, and who
evidently thought us a parcel of lunatics.

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One of the ladies of the company gave a little
supper that night to mark the occasion, the menu of
which, though original, required a certain amount of
bravery to tackle at midnight, consisting as it did of
hare soup, hot-pot liberally sprinkled with mush-
rooms, a very alcoholic trifle, and a special cuv e6 of
lager, demi-chaud. There were some "heads" the
next morning, and fortunately no rehearsal necessi-
tated early rising, but I am convinced that the
climate of Torquay, while perhaps inducing it, is
by no means suited to high living.

CHAPTER XI

MARKETING— RUGGER— " FAITHFUL JAMES "—BURNLEY

ONE of the charms of living in apartments when on
tour is undoubtedly to be found in the necessary
marketing, or perhaps it might be more accurately
described as " shopping," there being very few men,
I fancy, who possess more than the vaguest idea as
to what they ought to pay for provend. Plummer
was a greater adept in the art than I, and would
frequently head me off from some delicacy which
had caught my eye, generally in a fishmonger's, and
which at the same moment had appealed to his nose.
The only article in the purchase of which I would
brook no interference was bacon, and to obtain this
concession I had to bribe him by allowing him to
buy a bottle of some very pungent and much ad-
vertised sauce, which I simply detested, and of which
he partook so sparingly that three parts of the bottle
travelled with us for several weeks, and was finally
used by a mistaken landlady as a hair- wash.

I do not wish to draw any comparison on the
intellectual qualities of the different species of shop
assistants, but it was forcibly brought to my notice
that grocers must be an eminently observant type,
for in at least four towns which I had never before
visited I was greeted, at the conclusion of my

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purchases, with the remark. " What address, Mr
Barrington ? " This never failed to tickle the infini-
tesimal strain of conceit which we are told is a
universal attribute of the theatrical profession, and
did much to restore the balance of self-respect which
the frequent indifference of the landlady to the most
genuine pretensions had severely shaken.

One of the strongest characteristics of theatrical
landladies is their garrulity, which, combined with
the almost invariable familiarity they display, is
occasionally rather irritating.

A habit to which I am much addicted when ab-
sorbing a lonely meal is that of reading a book, and
I was once driven nearly to distraction while revelling
in one of Cosmo Hamilton's delightful stories, at
breakfast, by a talkative landlady (they don't do
it so much at dinner — possibly because I usually
dined out), who would insist on telling me about all
the Gilbert and Sullivan operas in which she had
seen me play ; as a matter of fact she had never seen
me at all: I had never before been to the town in
question, and she was mistaking me for my old friend
of the D'Oyly Carte Company, Fred Billington.

From Torquay to Newport, Monmouth, was
another striking illustration of the value of contrast
in promoting that equable temperament so invaluable
to the touring actor. Here is no lovely bay sur-
rounded with purple madder cliffs bathed in the
opalescent glories of the setting sun, the faint blue
haze of smoke curling upwards from farm and cottage,
in the still air, as emblems of peace and rest. In

126

THE HARDY AUTOGRAPH HUNTER

their places we have the far-reaching and impressive
docks, the forest of red funnels in place of the cliffs,
the black reek of smoke which tells of approaching
departure as the mighty engines strain at the leash of
their massive chain cables, amid the almost deafening
intermittent roar of the coal as it is poured into the
insatiable maw of these sea-going monsters.

If at Torquay you sleep, at Newport you must
wake, and be up and doing if you would hold your
own, not to mention a bit of theirs.

As a slight proof of the alertness of the residents
I will instance the case of a lady and her daughter,
strangers to me, who, desirous of securing my auto-
graph, had called at several hotels and the theatre,
all to no purpose, and finally ran me to earth in the
main street, laden with market produce which I was
carrying home.

The album and a pen and ink were straightway
produced, and I was compelled to stand and deliver,
which I did while the pretty daughter held the
groceries and the sweet biscuits. Fortunately the
bloaters were to be delivered by cart.

Newport is nothing if not energetic, and even
football seems a more strenuous game here than
elsewhere, so much so that after years of allegiance
to the soccer game, as being the better to look on
at, my preference was considerably undermined on
witnessing a great match between Newport and
Swansea, old and keen antagonists.

Through the courtesy of Mr Dauncey, a prominent
official of the club, I was enabled to see Newport

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MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

maintain their unbeaten record, and the match was
such a revelation to me of the possibilities of the
game, to which I had been a stranger for many
years, that I have since taken every opportunity of
witnessing first-class matches.

The majority of the team occupied stalls at the
theatre the same evening, at our invitation, but
their presence was not an unmixed blessing, we on
the stage being curious to observe the heroes of the
fray, the heroes themselves being chiefly occupied in
reading what the evening papers said of the match
and their individual efforts, and the rest of the audience
devoting the major part of their attention to the
heroes.

During our week in Blackburn the manager of
the theatre in Burnley came over and was so much
pleased with our programme as to invite us to go to
him for the week including New Year's Day, which
we agreed to do. This left a hiatus of three weeks
after finishing at Newport, which was very kindly
filled in for me at the Tivoli by my ever-courteous
friends Mr Sutton and Mr Tozer. I chose for this
appearance an old one-act comedy by B. C. Stephen-
son called Faithful James, which I was able to
cast and rehearse among the company on tour, so
that we left Newport on the Sunday and opened at
the Tivoli without a break, on the following Monday.

This little comedy went so extremely well that
1 fondly imagined I had at last found my " golden
egg " for the halls, but I was once again doomed to
disappointment, the managerial verdict being that

128

GARDENING v. ACTING

there was not enough of me in the piece to make it
a " star turn " ; I believe that what they really want
is a twenty-five-minute version of The Mikado, but
I have some diffidence in approaching Sir William
Gilbert with such a suggestion.

This engagement gave us breathing space to re-
hearse one or two new-comers who were to play
in Jericho for the Burnley week, and our doing so
on the stage of the Tivoli, very kindly lent by the
management, excited a little wonder on the part of
stray spectators as to what kind of sketch for the
halls it was that had four acts.

One of the spectators was a stage hand whom 1
had known for years, and who invariably displayed
a most friendly interest in my work. I noticed him
wearing a somewhat anxious expression, and on
asking the cause of it was met with the inquiry, made
in a most sympathetic tone : " Well, guv'nor, I
like wot I've 'card of it very much — but — wot about
the time limit ? "

One of the new ladies, engaged in James and being
considered for The Walls, a very charming and
sympathetic little actress, had some rather quaint
notions as to the obligations of a contract, having on
one occasion granted herself a three weeks' leave of
absence because " her garden needed attention," and
on another because "spring was coming and she
must go home and look after her daffodils ! " These
derelictions from duty she herself confessed, but as
there did not seem much scope for gardening
operations in Burnley during the limited period of
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one week she was engaged for the part which required
filling, and of which she gave an excellent performance.
I must also do her the justice to say that, when I
returned from Burnley to a three weeks' engagement
at the Pavilion, once more with Faithful James, she
was never once absent, nor did she express the
faintest hint of an interest in horticultural pursuits.
I had some trouble in casting the part of an irascible
Admiral for this engagement, finally securing an
excellent actor, who was, however, more at home
in " costume " plays, and found some difficulty in
adapting his cultivated dignity of diction and gesture
to the prestissimo agitato method required on the
halls. That he succeeded in doing so proved him
an actor of resource, but I think he never fully
overcame the reluctance with which he wore, through
the exigencies of the play, a very battered and
dilapidated tall hat, with which he could not, with
all his resource, accomplish the recognised high-
comedy salutation.

I had a charming illustration, during this engage-
ment, of the ready manner in which artists on the
music-hall stage will come forward to help a brother
or sister player out of an impasse. A member of my
company had made a mistake of a whole hour in the
time fixed for our sketch at a matine'e and, having
naturally sent no word, we were all left wondering
what had happened and what to do. In the mean-
time our "turn" arrived, and was readily filled by
other artists, among whom were Miss Vesta Victoria,
who most kindly sang an extra song, on being in-

130

VESTA VICTORIA

formed that the missing man had arrived, and would
be ready in two minutes, just as I was suggesting to
the stage manager that I had better do a single turn
with a piano.

I was extremely grateful to Miss Victoria, and said
so, for, apart from the pleasure of hearing her ad-
ditional song, I will admit that the prospect of giving
a sketch at the piano disguised as an elderly and
artful-looking waiter did not appeal to me very
forcibly.

Songs and sketches at a piano form a class of
entertainment over which I have never been able to
" enthuse " to any great extent, even when given by
the very best exponents — a feeling which naturally
militates against a personal production of the airy
and dashing manner which seems so necessary to bring
these items to a successful issue.

The archness and vivacity of the feminine expon-
ents of this form of art are, of course, extremely
acceptable, as being attributes of the sex for which
one looks, but when exploited by a " mere man "
scarcely possess the same attraction.

The frequency with which our anticipations of a
pleasure to come fail to materialise has an echo in
the fewer occasions on which a pleasurable realisation
is not expected, a notable example of which, to me,
was our visit to Burnley.

For one thing the town was very much excited
over the forthcoming election, when a close fight was
regarded as a certainty, and a possible victory for
the Conservative candidate anticipated in what had

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formerly been a hot-bed of radicalism. I notice that
I have written " conservative " with a capital " C "
and " radicalism " with a small " r " — an unconscious
indication of my political tendencies. By way of
doing what I could for the cause, I made a practice
of holding talks with " the man in the street " when-
ever I could find one with the leisure to stand and
gaze at the electoral picture posters which plastered
the walls. The term " picture " posters is somewhat
of a misnomer, for the glaring crudites of these
works of art, both in colour and drawing, in many
cases invited ridicule instead of sympathy, but never-
theless I presume they were not without effect, in
view of the final triumph of Mr Arbuthnot, who was
also singularly fortunate in having the assistance of
such energetic canvassers as his wife and Sir John
and Lady Thursby.

It was a great disappointment when our candidate
failed to retain his seat at the celebrated Budget
election of December 1910, and, while I do not for
one moment suggest that the loss of my assistance
as a canvasser affected the result in the slightest
degree, I take pleasure in the fact that he was
elected within a few days of my visit, during which
I was as conspicuous in my absence from any meetings
as I was from the town itself on the later occa-
sion.

We had a very pleasant and amusing luncheon
one day during the week, at Ormerod Hall, during
which all election topics were taboo, the punish-
ment for breach of the rule being something that

13*

BURNLEY AND GROUSE

fitted the crime, as Gilbert put it, and it was very
odd how anyone on the brink of an indiscretion
immediately became troubled with a cough. The
moment lunch was over the canvassing recommenced
over the telephone, while Sir John and I left for
a drive over the moors in a car, a Scotch plaid and
a Scotch mist. Within a mile or two of Burnley's
smoky chimneys we were out on the moors, and the
car put up the first brace of grouse I had ever seen,
except at the poulterer's or on the table, and at the
moment I honestly thought I preferred them on the
moor.

The mist had developed into a strong resemblance
to a sea fog, and when we turned for home at the
keeper's cottage — being stopped by a wall of it, the
fog, I mean — I wondered how he knew where he was,
and ever found his way into the town.

The natives of Burnley I found most friendlily dis-
posed, and one of them on one occasion embarrassingly
so. It was a very wet night and, having ordered
a cab to take me home after work, I offered a lift to
three of the ladies who lived near me. They ac-
cepted, and whether the sense of responsibility proved
too much for the horse, or for what other reason will
never be known, at the bottom of a hill, which he
should have ascended, he preferred to break a shaft
and assume a recumbent attitude on the road — I am
not sure that the awful granite setts with which the
town is paved are entitled to the definition " road,"
but let that pass (I trust for some time) — at all events
there we were, and had to remain while the cabman

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mended both the shaft and the horse with pieces of
string. During the proceedings I naturally lowered
the window to look out for a moment, when I ob-
served a lady, in the national costume of clogs and
shawl (and other garments, I believe), taking a great
interest in the operations. As soon as she saw me
she approached the window, whereupon I modestly
withdrew my head, when, actuated by an evident de-
sire to help in some way, she put her head right inside
the carriage and murmured : " Are ye a lone man ? "
in a most sympathetic voice. The expression of her
face on seeing the three ladies in the cab was delight-
fully quaint, being a mixture of surprise and reproof,
but their silence must have alienated her sympathy, for
she left hurriedly, whereupon the three ladies plied me
with the most puzzling and pertinent questions as to
the meaning of the incident, utterly declining to
accept my explanation that her action was prompted
by pure friendship.

In many cases it is the surest way to earn the
discredence of the fair sex by asserting the absolute
truth, but in this instance they were perhaps right,
one of them even mischievously suggesting that I
had used a superfluous adjective.

New Year's Eve we all felt should be celebrated
in some manner, and a committee — consisting of
Hanworth, Browning, Edwards, Plummer and myself
— was appointed to "see what could be done." The
first obvious step was to interview the proprietor of
a good hotel with a view to supper, with merriment
and late hours to follow ; he was soon found, and

'34

NEW YEAR'S EVE SUPPER

agreed to do all we required if we could content
ourselves with what his head waiter described as
" a cold calculation." I have heard it called " cold
collection," before now, but never "calculation,"
but to prove that he meant it he repeated it several
times.

The next consideration was the presents, and here
I called in the assistance of one of the ladies, with
excellent results ; the only gift costing more than
twopence was a little tin engine (fourpence) for the
manager, chosen in view of the fact that in arrang-
ing our journeys he had proved himself a walking
Bradshaw. The hero of the play, having returned
from Australia, had of course a box of woolly sheep,
and the whole company were suitably " gifted," much
to their amusement.

The reason for a cold calculation being imperative
was that the staff of the hotel was being indulged with
its annual ball, in which we all joined after supper,
and feeling that I owed the staff a debt for their
complaisance I conscripted our men for their ladies
and personally conducted a quadrille with a delightful
cook as my partner.

There was one very weird dance, called, I fancy,
the Military Two Step, which I danced with a pretty
little woman who acted as our wardrobe-mistress,
and which I fancied I was rather good at until she
asked me to stop and told me that I knew nothing
about it ; feeling a little hurt I handed her over to
one of the company who I knew could not dance, by
way of revenge, but she afterwards told me " he was

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first rate," which made me wonder what I could have
been.

I overheard a remark of one of the stage hands
one night to the effect that he " couldn't quite make
out this company — they're all ladies and gentle-
men," which rather pleased me, but unfortunately,
immediately after making it, he very clumsily trod
on the gown of one of the ladies, with disastrous
results to a beautiful lace overskirt, and a very
excusable " damn " was launched at him ; whether
our pretensions to gentility had annoyed, as well as
puzzled, him, I do not know, but the "reproof" was
received with a smile of pleasure which plainly said
" now I know where I am I "

136

CHAPTER XII

CAMBRIDGE " RAGGING " — CIRCUITOUS ROUTE
MARCHING — IRELAND

FEBRUARY 1910 sees me once more "on the road,"
once more with Jericho and once more with practi-
cally the same company. Cambridge was our start-
ing point this time, and during the three days of our
stay the "men" did everything in their power to
give us a good time in every way. Plummer and
I were again room-mates, and on our arrival found
a note awaiting us, almost in the form of a Royal
Command, to the effect that we were expected to
dine with the writer, one MacCormick, a nephew
of his, and a most excellent dinner it was too, con-
ceived and executed in a lavish spirit, the sole note
of parsimony struck being the restriction of choice
in the matter of liqueurs to eight !

I had only once before been to Cambridge, some
years ago, when my nephew, Rutland F. Cumberleye,
was playing in the Varsity rugger team, when I
had the same cheery welcome, but this was to be
my first experience of play-acting to them, and a
very pleasant one it proved. There was just a
moment of wonder on my part as to whether our
friendly relations were to be maintained in their
integrity when the curtain went up on the Saturday

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night, discovering me at the piano prepared for song
and story, and I was greeted by a stentorian voice
from the stalls, proceeding, I believe, from Brown
of Clare, asking : " How are you, old Sport ? " I
was much touched at this proof of a kindly anxiety
as to my health tendered by an absolute stranger,
and gratefully replied : " Very well indeed. How are
you, young Blood ? " — a little interchange of com-
pliments which seemed to vastly amuse the rest of
the audience. Whether this proved the signal for
opening the floodgates of conversation, or whether
it was the usual mode of procedure, I do not know,
but there followed a stream of interrogations and
remarks, during my stories, to all of which I replied,
fortunately without losing the thread of my dis-
course, culminating in one of my auditors (who had
evidently been present the evening before), on my
commencing a certain story, very kindly and
promptly announcing the point. I very sweetly
recommended him to take a turn outside, as he had
heard it, advice which was backed up by the rest of
his confreres in the stalls, and this soiree conver-
sationale then closed with honours easy.

This disposition to " rag " the performers has been,
I am told, handed down as de rigeur from pre-
historic days, and, if met in the good-humoured way
in which it is meant, is quite an addition to the
pleasure of the evening, but there have been cases
where the artist has resented it, with disastrous
results to the entire performance.

I addressed a letter to the editor of the Gi~anta,

138

RAGGING ACTORS

on the subject, which was published on the following
Saturday together with some sympathetic editorial
remarks, and I heard later on a rumour to the effect
that the " powers that be had seriously considered the
advisability of putting the theatre out of bounds " ;
it has not been done, however, and would have been
not only a serious mistake, but a great deprivation to
undergraduates and play-actors anxious to make an
exhaustive study of mutual characteristics.

Much depends upon the mood in which the victim
of ragging may chance to be ; there is naturally no
time in which to think that personal remarks suddenly
flung at you may be, in fact, generally are, the ebul-
lition of youth and good-nature — in most cases that
is — for there have been occasions when offence was
meant and taken — and happy is he who, as in my
instance, feels fit and well, recognises the procedure
as the outcome of irresponsible frivolity, and is equal
to the occasion ; he is absolutely sure to command the
sympathy and attention of the " raggers " for the
remainder of the evening, but should anything have
chanced to bring him to his work in a bad humour,
and he indulge in the " retort discourteous," woe
betide his possibility of a hearing !

After this amusing experience, I was curious to
observe the behaviour of these light-hearted young
bloods on leaving the theatre, and, as the part I was
playing made its final exit in Act III., I was able to
dress and patrol the opposite side of the street; I was
at once struck with the fact that there were at least
three sets of proctors and bull-dogs on duty, and

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pulling down my cap, and turning up the collar of
my coat, I did my best to invite their attention by
my suspicious loitering, but, to my great chagrin, to
no purpose.

The crowd shortly streamed out of the theatre, and
it was quite entertaining to watch lighted pipes being
thrust into pockets and remnants of black cloth,
simulating gowns, being assumed at sight of the
authorities. I had the satisfaction of seeing one up-
roarious young gentleman proctorised, but his was
not a case of too much theatre, as he came from the
opposite direction, and was too elaborately dignified
to attempt escape, and so robbed me of the
treat I desired, that of seeing the bull-dogs give
chase.

The number of tea-parties we crowded into the
three days, as well as the cakes we were expected to
demolish at each, was something astounding, and en-
abled one to realise why the permission given to all
pastrycooks' assistants to eat as much as they like,
is not so recklessly extravagant or hospitable as it
sounds.

From Cambridge to Hastings we travelled in very
roundabout manner through some six or seven
counties in order not to leave a certain railway
system which had promised us in return to furnish
a special train some three weeks later on to enable us
to catch a boat for Ireland after working on the
Saturday night ; this was reasonable enough, but as
it had already been settled that we should not travel
by that particular boat, and therefore not need the

140

VALENTINES

special train, the circuitous route was a superfluity of
consideration.

What a totally different aspect such intensely

" summer " towns as Hastings present in the winter !

—nowhere to go, nothing to do, and very little to see,

with the exception of a professor who made a shivery

dive from the pier-head twice daily.

We were busy rehearsing one morning when two
ladies came to inspect the seats they wished to book
in the balcony ; they took no notice of the company
on the stage and discussed the matter of their seats
at the tops of their voices until I remarked : " I do
hope we are not disturbing you ? " when they dis-
covered us and fled, I fear without booking seats
at all.

There was a most cosy little cafe' here, run by two
ladies and their mother, with whom I made great
friends, and when the afternoon-tea customers had all
departed we gathered round the fire and the dear old
lady gave me her impression of Savoy operas, all of
which she had seen and loved ; to have been a Savoyard
seems a universal passport to the esteem and con-
sideration of Savoy devotees, and is by no means to
be despised as a recommendation to their unvarying
hospitality.

To Worthing on St Valentine's Day, where, having
an Early Victorian desire to send one away I ransacked
the town to find it, but without success. In my
younger days I remember how we boys used to save
up our pocket-money for weeks in order to buy ex-
pensive rubbish to send to our " loves " ; and it was

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also useful as a declaration of a passion which might
not hitherto have been suspected, and affords an indi-
cation of Early Victorian simplicity which would seem
to have vanished with the pretty fashion itself. The
modern youth has other ways of expressing devotion,
and more often than not expects the "present" to
come from the opposite direction. Another point of
contrast may be noted between " then and now " in
that while, in those days, we felt ourselves honoured
in the proud possession of " a love," the modern swain
is to be frequently heard alluding to his " best girl,"
an expression which bears the prima facie indication
of a host of aspirants to the honour of his notice, a
complete reversal of the customs of chivalry of which
we need not feel inordinately proud.

Max O'Rell has written exhaustively and delight-
fully on this subject and it might not be an un-
profitable procedure to include his essays in the
curriculum of schools for the youth of both
sexes.

I found several relations and many friends in
Worthing who deplored the fact that, it being Lent,
they were unable to give themselves the pleasure of
going to the theatre. This struck me as most edify-
ing behaviour, but my admiration of their sense of
duty was rather chilled on finding out by judicious
questioning that they were not prepared to forgo the
pleasures of bridge and rinking. When I ventured
to ask for an explanation of the difference, an argu-
ment ensued which ended in my rescuing a cousin
from the fold of intolerance and providing him, at his

142

AS "PERKS" IN "A MEMBER OF TATTERSALLS," WORTHING

LENTEN OBSERVANCES

own expense, with a pleasant evening in the proscribed
area.

We were to suffer much more severely from the
strict observance of Lent a little later on in Ireland,
but that this is so is a fact so widely known and
appreciated that it becomes your own fault if you
court disaster by going there during this period.
We, however, did so, and met with the same incon-
sistency as obtains in England, exemplified by the
holding of a Point- to-Point race-meeting at which
the whole countryside was present, priests included.

By way of breaking the journey from Worthing to
Cork, we put in a week at Derby, another town
which 1 had never previously visited, where our stay
was considerably cheered by the hospitality of the
officers of the Sherwood Foresters, at the depot. To
one of them, by name Stackhouse, I was indebted for
a charming excursion by motor car to Repton School,
a stroll round the precincts of which made me long
for my reincarnation as a schoolboy in residence, the
sentiment being intensified by the reception of a
cheery nod of salutation from " The Head," an old
cricket opponent.

From Derby to Cork, starting on a Sunday morn-
ing, is a journey offering a great variety of scenes,
expressions, pleasures and pains ; occupying as it
did from nine-thirty A.M. on Sunday until three-
thirty P.M. on the Monday.

One of the bright spots was the excellent dinner
provided by the management while waiting two
hours for the boat at Holyhead, which we enjoyed

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in blissful ignorance of the rising wind which was
shortly to make some of us feel we never wished to
eat again.

The majority of us were so thankful to get into
a train again at Kingstown that we followed a total
stranger who resembled our manager, and having
bestowed all our personal hand-luggage about the
carriage, and ourselves in comfortable corners, were
snatching a fitful dose when we arrived at Kings-
bridge, where the ticket-collector drew our attention
to the fact that we had commandeered a first saloon
in place of the third-class we were entitled to, and in-
sisted on our changing. This we absolutely refused
to do until breakfast had been served ; and we had
our way, and our breakfast (some of us), and travelled
in comfort to Limerick Junction, where we did have
to move, to change, but as our belongings were too
numerous to move in the time allowed for stopping
they were permitted to remain where they were, thus
furnishing the Irish situation of the luggage travelling
first class, and the owners thereof third.

I was told that I should find the Irish theatrical
landladies most genial and obliging, and so indeed
they are, but unless my experiences were unfortunate
I should say that a great part of their geniality is
assumed for the purpose of concealing shortcomings
in the necessities, not to say luxuries, of life and,
incidentally, to prevent austere inquiries into the
cleanliness, or otherwise, of their rooms and belong-
ings.

Our landlady in Cork was an example, for when,

144

IRISH LANDLADIES

having spilt a jugful of hot water on the floor of my
bedroom, necessitating a great deal of mopping up,
[ told her I had no idea how pretty the pattern of
the oilcloth was, she was offended almost beyond
pacification, and for two days went about looking
like a terrier who has been discarded for a pom, until
set matters right by an audaciously inspired
encomium on her cooking. I only did this under
protest, Plummer begging me to do so because "she
really had a sweet nature " 1 The morning bath never
furnished more than sufficient hot water for one, and
a music-hall star, who was also staying in the house
and had found this out, used to be called at seven to
bathe and go back to bed, as Plummer declared, on
purpose to annoy us. The landlady said the majority
of her lodgers took their morning bath during the
afternoon, but, in cross-examination, we elicited the
fact that the afternoon was the time they selected
for breakfast.

The members of the Cork City Club would be
very bad to beat for hospitality anywhere, I fancy ;
there were luncheons and supper-parties galore, and
one would-be host suggested a breakfast-party, but
seven-thirty was too early for us.

We found auction bridge in full swing here, and
Browning, as the author of a book on the subject,
was reputed as a shining light, some of the glory of
which refracted on me, but I rather dented my halo
by playing as "no trumps" a hand in which I had
been left with the call of « two hearts " ; the truth
being that, at the next table to ours, five men were
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engaged in a game which seemed to demand loud
shouting, and peals of laughter, called I believe
" Spoilfive."

One of our "principal hosts" — and very well he
played the part — named Wallis, very kindly drove me
out to Carrignavar for my first experience of a Point-
to-Point meeting in Ireland, where I met more
charming people, including the officers of the Royal
Welsh Fusiliers, who held the meeting, and fortified
the refreshment tent to stand the hospitable siege of
all comers. I do not remember ever before meeting
at one time so many present and ex-M.F.H.'s, and
the whole thing went with a swing and evident
enjoyment of the sport which was most refreshing.

Tips abounded of course, and I had a bet on the
race, but failed to find a winner, but Plummer, who
was unable to come out, had commissioned me to
back the favourite in the second race for half-a-
sovereign for him, which I entirely forgot to do ; it
won, and of course I had to pay, but, fortunately,
it was only an even-money chance so did not make
matters much worse, especially after deducting my
winning commission.

My friend Wallis had great hopes of winning the
open race with a horse of his, called Good Settler,
but about three fences from home, when he looked
to have quite a good winning chance, he suddenly
awoke to the meaning of his name, and proceeded
to illustrate it in the bog, leaving us to our share of
the responsibility with the bookmakers.

That horses are very human, and understand more

146

ILLEGITIMATE RACE STORY

than some of us imagine, was proved to me in another
instance when in Dublin ; there was a theatrical
company which included among its members a horse,
which was being boxed for Cork, wearing the most
indignant expression imaginable, and on inquiry I
found that the railway company had demanded a fee
of sixpence per mile for his conveyance ; this appear-
ing to a manager excessive, he had appealed in vain
for a reduction of the charge, but a solution of the
difficulty was found in booking him at a cheaper rate
as " fish," a definition of horseflesh which he evidently
very strongly resented.

I had a good story from Major Lynch, for the
truth of which he and others vouched, apropos of one of
the illegal race-meetings which used to be so popular
over here. A man was out with the hounds and took
a toss, pursued his loose horse for some two miles, and
finally arrived at one of the said meetings, to find
that his horse had been caught, christened, entered
for a race which was just about to start, and for
which he was a hot favourite ; his " owner " was up,
racing colours and all, and only relinquished his
mount on payment of ten shillings, the real owner
even then having a narrow escape of being roughly
handled by the crowd, which saw itself done out of
a supposedly " good thing " !

He was also responsible for a version, which was
new to me, of the definition of an Irish " bull " given
by a peasant who was asked for his idea, and after much
thought evolved the following : — " Well, sorr, av ye
go into a meadow where there's fourteen cows lyin'

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down, an' one av thim cows is shstandin' up — that
cow'll be the bull ! "

We had persuaded one of the ladies of our company
to form a menage a trois with us in Cork — I need
hardly say of a perfectly harmless character, or I
should certainly not have alluded to it — subject to
a week's notice on her part when she considered it
desirable to terminate the contract, and it was an
inestimable boon to Plummer and myself to have such
a charming mess-president and supervisor of general
comforts. Her presence was also an admirable
corrective to the almost inevitable slackness of good
manners which assails the touring actor who perforce
must live a self-centred existence, and when, in addi-
tion, the C. O. proves herself such an absolute bon
camarade as did ours, her beneficent influence can
hardly be over-estimated. That the situation may,
however, be productive of some bewilderment to
strangers was brought to our notice in Dublin, where
a severe attack of tonsilitis necessitated the calling
in of a doctor ; being " next for duty " I fetched him,
and after his interview he returned to make his
report. Plummer and I were at breakfast, and when
he alluded to the patient as my wife, I of course
undeceived him, whereupon he at once spoke of her
as Mrs Plummer ; being once more undeceived, he
hardly seemed to know what to make of it, but he
did not throw up his brief, and later on complimented
both of us on our qualities as hospital nurses, which
commendation we were proud to have endorsed by
the patient.

148

JOKE THAT FAILED

He was discussing " throats " of all kinds with me
one day and I told him a true story of a lady of my
acquaintance who had a peculiar kind of flat-footed,
shuffling walk which I found very difficult to keep
step with ; I ventured one day to ask her the reason
of it and her answer struck me as most amusing,
being that " she had had a bad attack of diphtheria
when a child." Never having heard of diphtheria in
the feet I expected the doctor to laugh as heartily as
I had, but the humour failed to strike him, and he
waited, with that disconcerting expression that
seems to say " Well ? " and I was forced to say
" That's all," and laugh myself, but all undaunted
I tried him again, this time with some success, with
the story of the old lady who asked the policeman,
" Where will I get the tram for Blackrock, sorr ? "
and received for answer, " If ye stay where ye are,
ma'am, ye'll get it in the small of yer back ! "

I had a somewhat Irish criticism in one of the
influential Dublin journals on my "entertainment,"
which it described as " not in any way brilliant, but
perhaps serves its purpose, as being only meant to be
a trifle."

The mention of " trifle " recalls a most delightful
supper-party given us by Mrs Gunn, the widow of
my old friend, and D'Oyly Carte's partner, Michael
Gunn, who has not long since retired from .the
active management of the Dublin theatre, which she
took over on her husband's death. Among other
delicacies she produced a bottle of very ancient
liqueur called Trappistine (her husband's cellar was

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famous among his friends), which we found appealed
to us very strongly indeed. Mrs Gunn asked if
I would carry a bottle of it to my wife, with her
love, which I was naturally pleased to do, but never
did present run so many risks of not reaching its
destination as did that bottle. I could not get home
for some weeks, and every Sunday I unpacked on
arrival it stared me in the face and asked me to
uncork it, which I certainly should have done but
for Plummer's stern sense of honesty and firmly
expressed intention not to touch a drop of it if
I did ; it eventually got safely home and was not
appreciated !

150

CHAPTER XIII

BELFAST — PERTH — A PERTHSHIRE IDYLL

IT may have been only imagination on my part, but
I most certainly received the impression that Belfast
was not as strict in its Lenten observances as Dublin
and Cork, anyhow it was gratifying to notice an
improvement in our business. We were excellently
housed here too, and the landlady was the proud
possessor of a delightful little baby girl who insisted
on supplementing her private commissariat by visiting
us at every meal except supper, and demanding her
share of whatever was going ; she must have had a
rare digestion, but tried it rather highly on one
occasion when we found her nearly choked with a
lengthy strip of bacon rind she had annexed when
unnoticed.

It was otherwise a very uneventful week, being too
wet for golf, and only redeemed by the incidents of
the departure and passage to Glasgow, for which we
inherited the reversion of a special steamer which
had been chartered to bring over the entire company
and effects of Pinkie and the Fairies.

Some half-dozen of us assembled for mid-day
dinner, before going aboard, at Miss Trevor Lloyd's
rooms, and there was tremendous excitement in the
street on the arrival of large contingents of Fairies in

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furs and attendant nurses and governesses, all look-
ing as if the passage had hardly been as smooth as
they could have wished.

I had several saloon berths for the voyage, few of
which I used owing to the marvellous smoothness
of the sea and the clear night, a combination which
offered an irresistible temptation to remain on deck.
A short nap, lasting as far as the end of Belfast
Lough, fortified me for my night watch which was
full of interest. The lights of Ayr, Arran and
Ardrossan opened up in turn and the effect was
most strikingly beautiful as the islands loomed out
of the clear dark of the night, with little points of
light increasing from stars to lamps as we drew
nearer ; the chief engineer had come up for a breath
of air as we passed an island on which there was a
revolving light which had a most weird effect as it
shone first on the sea and then hurried round the
cottages and houses on the island as if telling the
inhabitants that it was on duty. I spoke of this to
the engineer, near whom I was standing, and to my
great pleasure he forthwith quoted Kipling's line,
"the light which wakes the sailor's wife to prayer."
He was anxious that I should go below and inspect
his engines, but the idea of so many steps, up again,
appalled me and I excused myself on the ground of
shortness of breath ; he was very sympathetic but
some ten minutes later, when I burst involuntarily
into song at sight of the gracious moon, giving all
the value I could to both parts of the duet, " The
Moon hath raised her Lamp above," he remarked,

UP THE CLYDE

rather tersely I thought, " There isna much wrang
aboot yere chest ! "

I thought perhaps he was feeling a little hurt, and
tried to explain that singing was not the tax on
the breath that stair-climbing would be, and he
resumed his friendly smile, whereupon I took an
encore for the duet and gave him quite a selec-
tion of unaccompanied songs, at the conclusion of
which he was kind enough to say, " That's fine."
I was just about to launch into a serious recitation,
having told him the title of it, when he said he must
" gang awa' doon," and did so.

The entrance into, and passage up, the Clyde was
a succession of pictures to interest any artistic eye,
the chilly dawn growing gradually lighter and dis-
closing the monster shapes of the big steamers going
out, the barges and ferry boats full of workmen
crossing the river to the different yards, while the
air was already beginning to throb with the noise
of iron meeting iron, which as we slowly steamed
towards our berth swelled to the full volume of its
chorus of workers.

This being my first journey up the Clyde brought
me a great disillusionment of the mental picture I
had formed of the celebrated stream, but, while much
disappointed at its extreme narrowness, I was lost in
admiration of the marvellous manner in which these
sea-going monsters are warped in and out of docks
and through lock-gates which look as if they could
not possibly open widely enough.

It seemed, for some reason which I cannot possibly

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explain, a most undignified manner of arriving from a
foreign country. We slid alongside an unpretentious-
looking kind of quay, amid no excitement or curiosity
of any sort, landed unobserved and were immediately
absorbed into the ordinary street traffic ; I felt that
someone should have met us, and congratulated us
on a safe arrival.

A stroll up Buchanan Street saw us embarked in
the train for Perth, a town to which I had always
hoped to pay a visit, so rich is it in history and
romance. After this very lengthy journey we were
more than grateful for the basin of excellent Scotch
broth which the intuition of our landlady had pro-
vided, but, being somewhat rich, a little went a long
way I found, while Plummer, more courageous,
shortly after complained of "black spots and the
room going round" — which in the kindness of his
heart he ascribed to the steamer passage.

Being here, it was the obvious thing to do, to buy
and reread " The Fair Maid of Perth," and also visit
her house, of which, I gathered, there is very little of
the original remaining.

Having also heard a legend to the effect that there
was a hotel at the window of which it was possible to
sit and fish for salmon (catch salmon, I believe it was)
I looked for this also, but failed to find any trace
of it, and our host at the golf club on the North
Inch, Mr Robertson, whose hospitality considerably
brightened the last weeks of Lent, confessed that in
all his years of residence, and they were many, he
had never heard of such fishing facilities.

MISTRESS MILNE

We made the acquaintance of a most delightful
old lady, a Dundee fishwife, who came twice a week
to hawk her wares, and dined regularly with Mrs
Milne, our cheery landlady. Mistress Macfarlane
was over sixty, and without a grey hair on her head,
and of truly noble proportions. These and her un-
failing good humour so appealed to Plummer as to
impel him to a proposal of marriage, but it appeared
that she held men in very light esteem and refused,
which was a pity, as she would have played Audrey
to perfection, with perhaps a new reading in
which Touchstone would have come off second
best.

One of our company secured a day's fishing and
unfortunately caught some trout, which he kindly
presented to us, whereupon he was invited to break-
fast to help eat them ; they turned out to be rather
a failure and I saw the party going breakfastless when
our worthy Mistress Milne appeared with a handsome
"plat" of eggs and bacon, accompanied with the
remark, " I ken weel they Tay troots ! " and the
balance was restored.

A stroll round the North Inch, where from time
immemorial the Burghers Club has golfed, and of old
the races were held, was made additionally interesting
by an endeavour to locate the spot where Conachar
dived into the river at the conclusion of the great
fight between the two rival clans so magnificently
treated by Sir Walter Scott, but this again no one
could point out, nor was there discoverable even a
shaving of the ladder Rothesay used in mounting

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to the Fair Maid's window. The window itself is, I
was credibly informed, the only part of the original
house left, and is, per se, strong evidence of the purity
of Rothesay's intentions, for it is too small to admit
the passage of anything larger than a diminutive cat,
nor could the Fair Maid have eloped by its means.
This is but another proof of the wisdom of leaving
unvisited many spots around which the halo of
historical romance has cast a glamour which the
actuality so often rudely dispels.

We had, however, a romantic experience of our own
during the week, to which, imbued with the feeling
engendered by the reperusal of Scott's delightful tale,
I have felt irresistibly impelled to endeavour to lend
an echo of the atmosphere which seems to envelop
Perth and its neighbourhood, and which I venture to
entitle :

A PERTHSHIRE IDYLL

OR
How MISTRESS LUCIE SYMES BECAME A BRIDE

( The explanation of words marked * will be found in the

Glossary]

On a heavenly morning in spring, at an hour when
many of the honest burghers of Perth were just
awaking to the knowledge that a steaming bowl of
porridge was awaiting their pleasure, the casual
traveller along one of those mysterious wynds * with
which their quaint old town abounds, might, were he

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PERTHSHIRE IDYLL

possessed of an observant eye, have noticed the
sallying forth of a small but gay cavalcade * com-
posed of four persons, whose position and occupation
in life he might have been at some pains to de-
termine.

It was too early an hour for the gentry of the town
te be astir, while few even of the thrifty mercers had
appeared within their beetle-browed doorways, but a
second look from the typically incurious Scotsman
may have led to the muttered expression " Southrons
—they'll be some of yon player folk who tramped
into town yestre'en."

The debonair party consisted of a jovial-looking
somewhat portly man, who carried his fifty odd years
with the mien * of a former athlete, and seemed to be
the leader of the expedition, his companion being
an alert-looking young woman, whose bright and
bonny face indicated the happy and witful tempera-
ment associated with the Celtic race. The two other
members of the party were a young man, whose
appearance and carriage were a juvenile replica of
those of his elderly friend, and a buxom maiden of
some ten summers, and as many winters, whose
springy step and merry outlook proved her possessed
of that joie de vivre * which our Gallic neighbours
so keenly appreciate.

Little indeed did any of the four suspect, as they
fared forth in the callow morning air, what a strange
happening Pandora was preparing for two of their
number. With snatches of song and merry jest they
left the old town far behind, and below the battle-

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ments of Kinnoul sought the banks of the smoothly
flowing river where the industrious salmon netters
were to be seen hauling on the strands through
which the silvery gleam of a Tay salmon, as he
surrenders life and liberty, brings a feeling of regret
that such things must be ere we can come to the
full appreciation of the noble fish.

Here for an idle hour or two the four sat basking *
in the sun and watching the netting, until the pangs
of hunger gave reminder of the early hour at which
the morning nourishment had been consumed, and
as, through a lack of foresight on the part of all,
severely rebuked by the leader, Master Roland Swift,
there had been no effort to provide for this
emergency, it became imperative to wander forth in
search of the wherewithal to recruit exhausted nature,
Master Swift, with the wisdom of years, suggested a
retirement to the base, where supplies are invariably
kept, but with the enthusiasm of youth — or was this
the moment of which Pandora took advantage-
Master Glazier loudly clamoured for a forward move-
ment, arguing that there must of necessity be
somewhere within reach a hostelry * ready and willing
to supply their modest requirements ; it being yet
wanting some few minutes of noon, and the original
intention having undoubtedly been the spending of
the entire day away from the city, both Mistress
Olive Robartes and Mistress Lucie Symes added
their entreaties, and the voice of wisdom, as
ordinarily, occupied a rearward position.*

The resolution to go forward at any risk was

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PERTHSHIRE IDYLL

followed by a hasty chaffering with the stalwart
fisher-folk concerning the price of a ferry to the far
side of the Tay, and the matter being adjusted to the
delicate satisfaction of these simple-minded men,
behold the expedition safely landed at the bottom
of a steep and tortuous ghyll* leading up from
the banks, among trees, hedges and indigenous wild
grasses, which all combined to present nature in a
most attractive garb to our four pilgrims. Mistress
Lucie here acted as pioneer, with that firm and even
flat-footed * step so indispensable to the mountaineer,
followed at the space of some three yards by Master
Glazier, the rearguard being formed by Mistress
Olive and Master Swift ; these precise details became
noteworthy only in the light of what followed, when
some two hundred yards of the ascent had been
traversed in the same order, leaving the latter couple
in the advantageous position of witnesses * to the
importance of the occurrence.

At the side of the path there lay, insidious object,
the loose hoop of a barrel, complete in circumference,
and of some two feet in diameter ; moved by who
shall say what spirit of mischief, or fell intent, Master
Glazier, having seized the hoop, dexterously flung it
over the shoulders of the fair Mistress Lucie, ac-
companying his action with the fateful words :
" Lucie ! With this ring I thee wed ! "
Dumb * with astonishment the four stood, until
the tension was relieved by the excited exclamation
from Mistress Olive of "A marriage 1 It is a
marriage, and we two are the witnesses ! " Of the con-

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tracting parties Master Glazier appeared the more
disconcerted, Mistress Lucie, with a thrifty foresight
something unusual in the circumstances, immediately
asking of the witnesses : " What are you going to
give us for a wedding present ? "

Her anxiety being allayed with a Scots penny*
on the part of Master Swift and a small and delicate
mechanism for improving and cooling the visage on
behalf of Mistress Olive, the journey was resumed
amid a buzz of excited contemplation of the position,
including the practicability of securing a divorce at
equally moderate charges and at equal speed. It is
notorious that an excessive use of the vocal organs
increases the necessity for liquid and solid refresh-
ment, and it was therefore with no little joy to all
concerned that there loomed * in the near neighbour-
hood a house of most attractive exterior.

Whether hostelry or private house, it was deter-
mined that there and shortly should these necessities
be relieved, and a short approach through the loaning *
saw the party greeted by a most hospitable house-
keeper, in the absence of the master of the house, at
that moment ambling into Perth on his palfrey.*

The diffident request made for a glass of milk and
a biscuit was met by an invitation " to come ben* the
hoose" and something should be forthcoming, the
something eventually proving to be an excellent cup
of tea, with the welcome addition of eggs, hot scones,
cakes of all kinds and delicious home-baked bread.
Surely Lucullus * never partook of a better wedding
breakfast than this perfect stranger, in his own

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PERTHSHIRE IDYLL

absence, offered to this unexpectedly married pair.
And surely none but those under the domination
of Cupid could have, in so light-hearted a manner,
accepted the Unknown's hospitality. The presence
of a loaded shot-gun in the feast-room suggested
to Master Swift the advisability of using sufficient
despatch in the meal to allow of departure before the
return of its owner ; not that this indicated a want of
courage on his part, or a supposition that the owner of
the house was of a bloodthirsty nature, but rather as
a precautionary measure against the possible return
of a hungry man to a larder depleted by strangers.

The wedding-feast being despatched, and vails *
bestowed, the expedition set forth, cheered and re-
habilitated, on its return to Perth, and here the
voracious chronicler (a printer's error has crept in,
observe) is compelled to the sad reflection that
contentment of the body does not invariably pro-
duce contentment of the mind, this being forced
upon his notice by the bickerings indulged in by
the newly-wedded pair on the homeward path, on
all matters pertaining to married life, the ordering
of the household and, above all, on the firmly ex-
pressed determination on the part of Mistress Glazier
to keep control of all moneys, subject to a weekly
dole * of infinitesimal dimensions to serve her
spouse's private needs.

There being no necessity for concealment, we
may admit that the persons taking part in this little
pilgrimage were indeed members of the troop of
mummers* then performing in Perth, the actual
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names being suppressed by the chronicler only in
view of any possible question arising as to the
validity or illegality of the marriage. Even this
precaution would not have been necessary had the
contracting parties been certain of their own wishes
in the matter, but a regard for the truth compels the
historian to reveal that the episode seemed to have
created a feeling of slight irritation on the part of
both, the determination to consider it a marriage
seeming to depend entirely on the mood of one or
the other in turn, and the fact of their never being
in agreement at the same time put a certain strain
on their friendship, which was naturally carefully
fostered by the other members of the troupe, who
found therein much cause for amusement.

Marriage, it would seem, is rarely an unmixed
blessing, and the fatal facility * offered by Scotland
for experiments in this direction is much to be
deplored. Here are two young people who were
happy together as friends, quarrelled the moment
they were united, and on the last occasion when
met with were as happy once more as previously,
being at last in agreement as to the desirability of
forgetting the entire occurrence.

There is, however, one aspect of the affair which
each would do well to bear in mind, and that is
that, the circumstances being known to all the
members of the troupe, it will be a costly matter
should either of the two later on wish to contract a
serious marriage in contradistinction to a Perthshire
Idyll ! * In conclusion, the narrator of this romantic

162

PERTHSHIRE IDYLL

episode would like to mention that the involuntary
host, Mr Leyburn of the Grange of Elcho, was also
met with and thanked for his hospitality later in
the week, when he was good enough to express his
delight at having been of such signal service in
Cupid's cause.

GLOSSARY

PACK

1 56. Wynd. A narrow passage haunted by Boreas.

157. Cavalcade. From the French "cheval," a foot traveller.
1 57. Mien. Signifying " nothing mean about me."

157. Joie de vivre. " All alive-oh ! "

158. Basking. A change from busking.
158. Hostelry. Non-existent.

158. Rearward position. " Took a back seat."

159. Ghyll. No relation to Gill or Jill.
159- Flat-footed. No personal reference.

1 59. Witnesses. At times suborned.
159- Dumb. Inexplicable.

160. Scots penny. Invaluable.
160. Loomed. It did not.

160. Loaning. The path to borrow.

160. Palfrey. Anglice, bicycle.

1 60. Come ben. Everyone knows this.

160. Lucullus. Everyone doesn't.

161. Vails. A motor of satisfaction.
161. Dole. — ful.

161. Mummers. Almost extinct.

1 62. Fatal facility. Admirable alliteration.
162. Idyll. Something that really happened.

163

CHAPTER XIV

SUNDAY BATHING — POINTS OF VIEW re HEROES—
THE "STAR" IN EACH ACT — MAGNANIMITY OF
PLUMMER — GOLFERS' EXCUSES — PYJAMAS — " THE
JUDGE AND THE LADY " — THE QUORN HUNT

MEETING

WHERE could we find a finer sight than the view
from either side of a train as it crosses the Forth
Bridge to the accompaniments of a storm of rain
and hail, varied by the lurid bursts of a brilliant
sunset ? Perched up at this great height the train
itself seems no more than a toy and the whole of
the surroundings combine to enforce the reflection
that the human being is the veriest atom of Nature's
scheme. Even the thought that human brains and
hands have united to span this mighty firth for their
own convenience, and have thus in a measure domin-
ated the elements, does not altogether reinstate the
sense of self-importance which is our normal attitude
in face of these wonders, for it brings to the mind
the awful fact that what has once happened may
happen again, and it is with a distinct feeling of
relief that one finds oneself safe on the southern
shore and gliding peacefully into Edinburgh.

What a contrast does Edinburgh present to
London on a Sunday evening ; both are orderly

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SUNDAY IN EDINBURGH

enough, but there is a kind of subdued gaiety
about the Scottish capital which is wholly lacking
in town, which I fancy is chiefly to be accounted
for by the fact that all who are abroad foregather
in Princes Street, the entire length of which is
packed with people, who seem to patrol it from one
end to the other for at least two hours, and most of
whom appear to have a nodding acquaintance with
every soul who passes.

The march of civilisation has also, mirabile dictu,
brought with it the Sunday golf habit, though at
present no great facilities are offered by the railway
companies for such an unholy revel, but this will
doubtless come in time.

With an hour's wait before proceeding to Newcastle-
on-Tyne, our destination for the following week, the
obvious course is to call on some old friends for
afternoon tea ; but here a certain disappointment
awaited me, owing to this being a surprise visit, in
the fact that, tea being over and her callers departed,
my hostess had sought the seclusion of the bathroom,
whither a certain sense of delicacy precluded me
from following her, in spite of the dusty accumula-
tion of a long journey, which seemed to suggest the
advisability of so doing.

She had, however, left a charming sister and brother
as understudies, who ministered most kindly to our
wants, and we went on our way stimulated and
refreshed by the ever- welcome tea, hospitality having
obliterated all feeling of envy towards the occupant
of the bathroom.

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Newcastle on Bank Holiday was a vivid contrast
to the quiet of Perth, and it was a great treat to be
greeted on the Monday night by a house packed from
floor to ceiling with an audience determined to be
amused with whatever fare was provided for it. They
took the hero of the play, Jack Frobisher, to their
hearts at once, and the more he " rated " his wife, the
Lady Alethea, for her "goings on" the more they
applauded his strong though highly virtuous remon-
strances, with, however, one exception, as I heard
afterwards, that of a man who was asked how he liked
the play and replied : " Very much indeed, but I can't
stand that Frobisher fellow — he's too damn good to
live ! " — a somewhat opposite view of the situation to
that taken by a feminine sympathiser of Frobisher's,
who thought him so much too good for his wife that
on their reconciliation, and consequent arrangement,
at the end of the play, to leave for Queensland to-
gether, she remarked : " Well, it's to be hoped she'll
die on the way out ! "

In several of the towns we had visited it had been
suggested that " it was a great pity that Barrington
did not appear in the last act" — the self-seeking old
Lord Steventon not making a reappearance after
being severely routed by Frobisher in one of his
virtuous outbursts — the suggestion not being intended
as in any way imputing a fault on the part of the
author, but on the ground of the advisability, from a
business point of view, of the "star" appearing in
each act. Being anxious to put the matter to the
test, Mr Sutro was approached, and most kindly wrote

166

A COMPLIMENT FROM SUTRO

in a part for the Marquis, which certainly had the
effect of considerably brightening the last act, but
although there was a perceptible increase in the
laughter I failed to notice a corresponding one in
the receipts, and in no town which we subsequently
visited did I hear of an additional row of stalls
being required. These facts, however, in no way
detract from the charm of the compliment paid me
by Mr Sutro in rearranging the last act of his master-
piece on my personal request.

It may have been owing to my vanity over this
concession that I met with an unpleasant and un-
dignified little accident in this town ; I was going out
golfing one morning, and in a, perhaps, lordly manner
signalled a tram to stop, which it declined to do until
some forty yards past me. I stepped off the kerb hur-
riedly to go after it. The wood of the street was wet,
my nailed boots flew from under me and I landed with
a bang on my back, half on the kerb and half in the
gutter. I rose with both body and dignity very much
hurt, the former arising chiefly from having fallen on
my pipe, which was broken and almost embedded in a
soft part of the figure, and the shaking I got lasted
for some considerable time, and fostered a distrust of
nails, the golfer's safeguard.

I was waited on at my rooms by a very deaf middle-
aged person, who imagined that she heard quite well,
and insisted on long conversations, of a most dis-
connected nature, with a persistence which rather
annoyed me. By way of getting some amusement
out of the situation I invited some of the ladies of

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the company to tea one afternoon and, without telling
them of her affliction, proceeded to address her, with
a smiling face, by all the opprobrious epithets of
which I could think and of which the presence of
ladies admitted. Their blank looks of astonishment
at the first two or three efforts were a great joy to me,
the Hebe's smile being as expansive as mine, and her
answers for once singularly appropriate, and it was
not until I asked the " darling old blithering idiot "
to bring the relay of muffins, to which she replied
that " there's no more eggs in the house," that they
began to have a glimmering of the truth, confirmed
by my final request for some particulars of her " lurid
past," her answer to which was that she had " ordered
one from the fishmonger but it hadn't come ! "

There was one feature connected with the intro-
duction of the Marquis into the last act of the play
which will always give me great pleasure to remember ;
it is inevitable that when one character is to be
specially considered some other part must suffer, and
in this case it was that of Hannaford, which was played
by Lambert Plummer. The part had some excellent
comedy lines, the majority of which were bodily trans-
planted to that of Lord Steventon, and I confess to a
feeling of uneasiness at the first rehearsal, arising from
the mental suggestion of " put yourself in his place,"
as to how this ruthless treatment of his part might
affect my friend ; it was therefore a source of great
pleasure to find that neither then nor at any subsequent
moment did Plummer betray the faintest sign of an-
noyance or chagrin over the affair, a forbearance which

168

OVERCROWDING

I venture to think as rare as it was delightful. I have
known instances where artists of good standing and
equal attainments have waged furious at the deletion
of a line or two, not to mention a whole speech, from
their part, entirely oblivious of the necessity for altera-
tion as the scene shapes itself at rehearsal ; and I have
seen an emotional extra-lady burst into tears at being
told she could not speak a certain remark, which must
be given to Miss Blank — the fact that Miss Blank
was the only person who could be " on " in the scene
in question proving no kind of consolation whatever.
My visit to Sheffield this time was chiefly notable
for a very striking illustration of the elasticity of
theatrical rooms ; the house was a detached one, and
by no means large, yet it served to shelter Mr and
Mrs Browning, two other ladies of the company,
myself and a married couple of music-hall artists of
German-American extraction, who played various
wind instruments by day and by night, in addition to
which there was the family, which I believe numbered
four in all. We were all waited on by one little
Abigail of fourteen, the daughter of the house, and
although the meals were punctual and tolerably well
cooked it was unavoidable that much was left to be
desired in other directions, and the policy of over-
crowding must be at least a doubtful one to pursue.
The prevailing idea on the part of landladies in houses
of this type seems to be that a certain amount of
attention being paid to the cleanliness and comfort
of the sitting-room warrants the almost complete
neglect of the bedroom department. This may pro-

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ceed from a desire to inculcate the principle of early
rising, which, I am told, is somewhat lacking in " the
profession," and it certainly achieved its object in my
case, for I spent as little time as possible in the com-
fortless sleeping-retreat placed at my disposal, but
the virtue of early rising was largely discounted by
the vice of late retirements, and I was not sorry when
the week was over and I again became normal.

I had a day's golf here with Browning and found
that I was still suffering from the effects of my fall
in Newcastle, my right arm being very stiff, and to
this cause I naturally ascribed the severe beating I
received. How is it that so few golfers are ever
beaten on their merits, I wonder ; there is always
some excuse to offer, and from my own personal
experience the excuses are as varied as they are
numerous, ranging from the man who missed a put
to win the match at Felixstowe because of the noise
made by the larks — to him who has had his game
ruined by the barring of a certain club which he
probably very seldom used.

There is an old adage to the effect that an
Englishman never knows when he is beaten, but that
was written before golf was introduced, for there can
be no mistake about five up and four to play. I do
however recollect a match I lost at Cassiobury for
the result of which I submit I had a valid excuse.
My host and opponent said to me before starting:
"You won't mind the dogs going round with us,
Pooh Bah ? " — to which I unsuspectingly replied :
" Certainly not ! " and off we started with the pack

170

GOLFING WITH HOUNDS

of four. I was not long in discovering that they had
all been trained to take a polite interest in putting,
and on every green they seemed to take it in turn to
come between the eye and the hole at the most
critical moment. I spoke very strongly to one
middle-aged fox-terrier, who was the worst offender,
and to my great relief he made a dignified exit
homewards, but his three friends stuck bravely to
the task, and it was almost worth the defeat I
sustained to witness their evident delight when I
handed the stakes to their victorious owner, Lord
Essex.

I suggested to him that the pack was worth a few
strokes to him on the round, but he only remarked :
" I was afraid you'd find them a nuisance, that's why
I asked you first 1 "

I made another match for a future occasion, " dogs
barred," but there seems to be great difficulty in
fixing a date.

On the last three nights of the week in Newcastle
I gave a trial to a new sketch with which I was to
open at the Tivoli on the conclusion of the tour. It
was written by my old friend and Savoy colleague,
Arthur Law, and was a condensation of a three-act
farce of his which had had some vogue. He called
the sketch The Judge and the Lady and it proved
very successful, although suffering from that tame
finish which seems so difficult to avoid in these
trifles.

The method requisite for this sketch work is
so strikingly different to that called for by the

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ordinary stage play that the way it went spoke very
highly to the powers of adaptability possessed by the
artists who appeared in it and who really seemed to
revel in the chance afforded for a little relaxation
from High Art. Hot baths, blankets, nightcaps and
pyjamas entered largely into the scheme, which also
included a baby, which of course was only a dummy,
no real one being of stout enough material to stand
the treatment required by the plot. Apropos
pyjamas, Pauline Chase and Marie Lohr seem to
have set the fashion of pyjama plays, but even they
might have been jealous of the latest recruit ;
Plummer, in the sketch in question, presenting a
quite gorgeous spectacle; my pyjamas were hidden
under a dressing gown, and I trust the day may be
far distant on which circumstances may compel my
appearance in this neglige", though really, with the
present craze for presenting most of the feminine
intimities of costume in public, and the almost total
absence of the same articles in the case of certain
lovely dancers, it becomes difficult to determine
where realism should cease and art recommence, and
a representation of the Garden of Eden, if put on
the stage, would probably be severely criticised
unless " altogether " true to nature.

A protest against a pyjama-monopoly on the
part of the ladies is offered by Charlie Hawtrey in
that delightful adaptation of a witty French comedy
called Inconstant George — in my humble opinion one
of the cleverest specimens of writing, contrast of
character, and invention that has been seen for a long

172

CHARLES HAWTREY

HAWTREY AT HIS BEST

time. The delicate shade of Hawtrey's night-wear
is an excellent contrast to the " voyant " gown-tones
of the lady who so artistically, and with no hint of
suggestion, has attitudinised sinuously on the
gorgeous coverlet before he makes his appearance,
and the stage management of this act in particular
is a remarkable instance of the skill requisite in a
skater on ice of French manufacture.

Where have we an author capable of inventing the
humour of that situation where a man is taxed by his
friend with writing love-letters to that friend's wife,
and this while in the undignified position of being in
bed ? And if we have such an author, have we the
censor to pass it ?

Hawtrey's mixture of dismay, irritation and anger
at the absurd figure he feels he must cut are all
admirably shadowed, and no less delightful, in quite
another atmosphere, is the delicate restraint shown at
the final curtain of the play, when, without laying a
single finger on the sleeping girl he loves, he sits, at
some little distance, to watch over her till the arrival
of her legal guardian.

The play is preceded by a very charming little one-
act wordless play (so-called), entitled Tlie Portrait.
I was rather surprised at finding on the programme
the name of Gordon Cleather as taking part in this,
and knowing him as a delightful singer I felt regret
that under the circumstances I should not be allowed
to hear him, but to my great astonishment the
curtain rose on my friend Cleather, representing an
artist in his studio, and singing a very charming

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song ! I looked at my programme, fancying I must
have read it wrongly — but no, it said " wordless " play
— and sure enough, when he had finished singing he
was unable to speak ! — and, with an occasional burst
of song, this state of things obtained until the end of
the play. It struck me as so quaint that a man
should be able to sing and not talk that, as far I was
concerned, the little play lost much of its effect.

My experience with the Leeds audiences led me
to think that the same predilection for stronger fare
than my entertainment provided might exist in
Bradford, an idea which received strong confirmation
on the Monday night, when several occupants of the
gallery made a leisurely but very noisy exit, during
one of my best stories, and, as 1 afterwards heard, in-
quired of the manager : " What sort of - - tommy-
rot are ye givin' us now ? "

Even this did not convince the management of the
desirability of a change of " opening," but the Tuesday
and Wednesday proving equally depressing, I insisted
on "trying" The Judge and the Lady, with the
pleasing result of being asked why I had not
mentioned the style of it before !

It is difficult to account for the prejudice which
exists in the minds of theatrical managers against the
" unknown," extending to plays and players alike ; it
is of course one of the greatest difficulties which an
untried author or artist has to face, and is almost
insurmountable without the aid of either some
fortunate chance or the golden key.

In this particular instance it was merely a repeti-

THE QUORN HUNT MEETING

tion of the old formula " well, it can't be worse," which
furnished yet another proof of how much better it
was, and I can only hope that the non-contents of
the first night were beguiled into giving me a chance
of reinstatement.

Edward Compton was here, with a very luxurious
blue motor car, and incidentally with his Comedy
Company, at the other theatre, and John Hart, he
and I had a pleasant day's golf at Hawksworth,
Hart's hospitality to all golfers visiting Bradford being
an inducement to go there as frequently as possible,
and greatly adding to the attraction of a first-rate
links.

From Bradford to Halifax would seem to be about
a twenty minutes' journey, according to both trains
and trams, but to occupy a whole Sunday with such
a trip would be a task beyond even the cleverest
arranger of a tour, so we lengthened it to an appreci-
able extent by putting in a week at Nottingham on
the way, a detour which pleased me very much as I
always look forward to visiting Nottingham, where I
have friends who have given me many pleasant times
and recollections ; also it was an agreeable preparative
for a stay in a town which I have so frequently heard
alluded to in a very disparaging manner, a manner
which, from my own experience, I find to be totally
unwarranted.

The Quorn Hunt Meeting was held at Lough-
borough during the week we were in Nottingham,
and, as neither Plummer nor I had ever seen the
course, we determined to honour the proceedings

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with our presence and, if possible, capture some
wealth from the bookmakers. We accomplished the
former intention, but the latter proved (as usual)
a task beyond our intelligence, not having more of
this commodity than we could gather from Sporting
Snippets, the tipsters of which journal — or should one
say " vaticinators " ? — being of such varied opinions as
to select at least four horses for each race, which made
a selection difficult in the face of only three runners.
We backed the favourite in the first race and to our
horror saw him fall at the last fence but one, when
leading fully ten lengths from the only horse that
seemed to threaten danger ; by the time the rider had
got him up and remounted, the other horse was well
past him and was rapidly — or so it seemed, but was
not — nearing the last fence, and our excitement was
intense ; however, our hero caught him, they jumped
the fence together and the favourite sailed home
an easy winner. The horse was Captain Power's
Revelstoke and was ridden by the gallant gentleman-
rider, Teddie Brooks, and it was a great and popular
performance.

The fatigue of drawing our winnings, coupled with
the strain of a fairly long walk from the station, sug-
gested the advisability of a retirement to the luncheon
tent, but to our dismay no such harbour of refuge was
to be found and we were forced to be content with
large chunks of bread and cheese, after all not a lunch
to be despised, but with the usual irony of Fate, for
having satisfied our cravings, and started for a stroll
along the coaches and cars on the aristocratic side of

176

SNAPSHOTS

the course, we received at least three invitations to
most recherche luncheons, which we could not accept.

I secured some excellent snapshots of the different
occurrences at the meeting, which will serve as a
souvenir of a very enjoyable day, and I cannot help
a slight feeling of regret at the edict pronounced
against this practice by the Jockey Club officials, for
it seems a little hard that the pleasure of the many
should be barred on account of the intrusive few
who most undoubtedly take these pictures with the
frankly avowed object of selling them to journals.

On the other hand it might be a source of great
annoyance to the victim should he be " snapped "
cheering home a winner when he should have been
cheering his leader in the House. I was myself once
" shot " at Kempton when I should have been appear-
ing at a charity matine'e in town, and oddly enough
with the very lady with whom I was to have acted,
and to meet with whom, at the races, was a great
surprise, she having sent me a telegram early that
morning to the effect that "she did not feel well
enough to play ! " which was the sole reason why I
absented myself from the performance. The number
of artists who "promise to appear," and fail on the
day, has, it seems to me, greatly increased of late,
and is much to be deplored ; the inability to say " no "
when asked is frequently the cause of this failure to
keep faith, and should be sternly discouraged, as it
falls hardly on those who do fulfil their promise and
are frequently compelled, by their good nature, to
supply the deficiency with an " extra turn."
M 177

CHAPTER XV

HALIFAX — FALSE ECONOMY — HULL

HALIFAX at last ! Which sounds rather like reach-
ing the Promised Land, the comparison being borne
out to some extent by the wearisome journey con-
tingent on my arrival ; had it been Halifax, Nova
Scotia, it could not have taken much longer or been
much more crowded with incident.

The circumstances incidental to my arrival were
hardly calculated to counteract the poor reputation
of the town for comfort and elegance of which I had
been a frequent oral recipient, a cold and pitiless rain
in the small hours not being the best of mediums for
viewing novel surroundings.

Business of importance had necessitated my
presence in London for a few hours on the Sunday,
and the summons being quite unexpected I preferred
to travel back the same night to making an unan-
nounced appearance at home at a late hour and being
thereby compelled to travel most of the next day with
the certainty of making a " first appearance in this
town " of a fatigued description.

There was also an additional motive in the shape
of an intermittent attack of economy, to which I am
very occasionally subject, and which foolishly sug-

178

BRADSHAW'S (MIS)GUIDE

gested the idea that the night journey would eliminate
the otherwise obvious hotel bill.

This praiseworthy resolution, like many another,
proved better in theory than practice, but it was
possibly my own fault in selecting a train which
should have gone direct, but, in some mysterious
manner, side-slipped and threw me out at York.

I have, in common with many people who should
know better, always prided myself on a capacity to
thoroughly understand Bradshaw, indeed I have fre-
quently picked up his guide for an odd five minutes
of light reading, when I have devised trips which I
should like to have made, but on this occasion I dis-
covered later that I had overlooked a train which, for
some occult reason, was given in abnormally small
figures and which would not only have given me an
extra hour in town but would have travelled direct
and arrived at the -same time as the one I carefully
selected, but as this is one of the traps which Brad-
shaw lays for his readers I was consoled by the
thought of the pleasure it would afford him when
he heard that I had fallen into it.

The arrangement of train time-tables has always
been a matter of wonder and admiration to me, and
I have always had a great desire to meet Bradshaw
and tell him what I think of some of his tricks, but
when I consider the number of heads which have been
put together on the compilation and production of
the play in which I am now appearing — viz. The Girl
in the Train — which deals with only one train, I am
forced to the conclusion that more than one hand goes

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to the framing of railway tables and that, ergo, Brad-
shaw is a myth, and should be "and Co," a Q.E.D.
which I arrive at with regret as dispelling another
illusion of youth.

But to my train. From London to York I slept
fitfully in a much overheated compartment, being
frequently aroused by sonorous choruses chanted by
a team of victorious footballers on the next coach,
who were returning to their northern fastnesses full of
goals and beer ; at York, where I had to change and
wait some fifteen minutes, I was much cheered by a
cup of some hot beverage which I was informed was
meant to represent coffee, which it did very feebly,
and then came the deviation, from York to Leeds,
which the later train would have avoided. It was
during this part of the journey that I appreciated the
kindness of motive in Bradshaw's trap, for, as we
rushed along through wolds and on the tops of moors
in a grey dawn, presaging a stormy day, the effect
was one never to be forgotten, causing me to break
forth into the lines at the end of this chapter, which
any reader who is so minded can skip.

To the artistic eye there may be discernible a
slight deterioration in the style of the coaches work-
ing this journey as compared with those of the
main artery, and on making a final change at Leeds
for Halifax this subtle distinction became still more
strongly marked, the " local " train seeming to ex-
press (no joke) the feeling that " if you will travel
at these unearthly hours you must think yourself
lucky to get there in anything I " However, about

1 80

ENTHUSIASTIC RECEPTION IN HALIFAX

six o'clock I did arrive, the only passenger, with not
even a friendly porter to greet me and tell me where
I lived, and the rain falling in torrents. I put my-
self under the guidance of a burly operative of sorts,
who seemed anxious for a job, not without certain
misgivings of being beguiled into some side street
and robbed, which were absolutely without founda-
tion, for he led me straight to the house, my
troubles as I thought being ended, but I was wrong
again ; ring and knock as I might I could awake
no one except the decollete-looking landlady of
the house two doors off, who inquired with much
cordiality if I wanted rooms ; I presume she must
be on the watch, night and day, for customers, as
she betrayed no surprise at the unearthly hour of
my arrival.

I informed her that I had some rooms but couldn't
get in, so she retired with a snort of annoyance and
contempt, and I took up a position in the centre of
the street (it was still raining in torrents) and yelled
" Plummer 1 " at the top of my voice, till I thought
the police would interfere. The door was at last
opened by a somnolent youth, who said he " thought
he'd heard something ! " and was kind enough to
take me absolutely on trust and show me to the
sitting-room before retiring to his broken rest.

After an interlude of lager beer and bread and
butter, which I annexed from a cupboard without
any knowledge of their legal owner, I went ex-
ploring for my bedroom, carrying in my hand a
large slice wherewith to appease anything or any-

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body I might meet, and the first room I entered
contained Plummer, fast asleep ; I woke him and
he said he had distinctly heard me calling him but
thought it was a dream, as I was not expected for
hours ; not recognising his right to dream of me at
all, I insisted on his eating the bread and butter, in
the hope that a worse dream would follow, discovered
my own room and was soon sleeping the sleep of the
wearied traveller whose troubles are over, but as I
dosed off I recognised that the economical tendency,
which had been the origin of the scheme, had failed
to materialise, as, owing to the footballers, I had
first of all paid eleven shillings' excess from London
to York; then the porter at York had naturally
transferred my dressing-case from one first-class
carriage to another on the branch line — being a first-
class traveller was proof of my inability to carry it
myself — four shillings more ; then another carried it
from one station to the other at Leeds, another
shilling, and by that time I had become so con-
vinced of the futility of further endeavours at saving
money as to resolutely " book " first class for the
rest of the journey ; the extra sovereign or so thus
invested in false economy would have furnished a
bed and breakfast of more than moderate expanse,
but I should have been robbed of an experience
which I thoroughly enjoyed retrospectively.

There is excellent golf at Halifax, and on the
far side of the hills, among the spurs of the moor,
it was very pleasant to hear the grouse calling their
appreciation of a good stroke, a cheerful sound which

182

CLARICE MAYNE

I heard twice in one day. This is not to be taken as
a confession of bad play on my part, which would
perhaps excuse a certain amount of grousing, but
rather a testimony of the superexcellence of the
two strokes in question. The journey out to the
links on the tram is well worth the time and
trouble, even to a non-golfer, on account of the
magnificent views presented as the car travels
higher and higher up the hills which surround the
town in all directions, and it is a quaint sight to
look across valleys and see other trams outlined
on the sky-line and looking like crawling flies, with
others coming down hills like the side of a house,
holding on by their feet. Our particular car
stopped carefully some half-mile from the links, but
a cautiously tendered bribe of a shilling resulted in
the extra distance being negotiated, at which I felt
rather pleased, until informed that it was quite legal
and at the option of any traveller wishing to traverse
the extra bit.

Miss Clarice Mayne was appearing at the Variety
Theatre during the week we were there, with her
talented actor accompanist, Mr Tate, singing her
celebrated song, " I'm longing for Someone to Love
Me," and she also made her first appearance on the
links under his tuition one day when we were out
there playing, braving a very heavy hailstorm with
the courage and enthusiasm proper to a beginner.
We passed them at the second hole, Miss Mayne
having twice missed the ball entirely, and I could
not resist paraphrasing her song and chanting, "I'm

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longing for Someone to ' Hit ' Me ! " — a reflection on
her skill which seemed not only to amuse her but
also to stimulate her efforts, for she immediately hit
the ball well, and very nearly myself with it.

Hull was the next town we visited on the tour,
and it being my third visit within the last two years
or so it felt rather like coming home, a feeling
intensified by the greetings awaiting me from personal
friends. I also had a married niece in residence at
Beverley, a visit to whom brought in its train a stroll
round this wonderfully picturesque old town, where
there are countless " bits " to be found which would
delight an artist with a sense of colour in old walls
and quaint buildings.

It was while we were in Hull that the news of King
Edward's serious illness became the one topic of
conversation, and there was a most distinctly felt air
of uneasiness and concern which seemed to affect
everybody and everything, and when the terrible
news came of the fatal termination of the illness, its
appalling suddenness seemed to leave us absolutely
breathless with consternation and grief, the dominant
feeling, even with those who had never set eyes upon
him, being that of the loss of one's dearest and most
intimate personal friend-^a striking tribute to the
grand personality of the King who had so endeared
himself to every single individual of his subjects as a
man.

The night before the dreaded news arrived we went
through our work in an atmosphere of tension which
was evidently shared to its full extent by the

184

audience, and the whole proceedings were so per-
functory as to afford an experience which I can
never forget and which I trust will never be re-
peated.

After the Friday night's performance we, of course,
closed down and found our way home to London, a
day earlier than would otherwise have been the case,
and thus concluded a tour which I shall always look
back upon with a grateful remembrance of many
happy times with very pleasant associates.

I had been touring for so long that it felt quite
strange on the following Monday morning not to be
rushing off to some provincial city, and indeed it
was some weeks before I finally realised that I had
at last secured the London engagement which is
the ambition of so many actors on tour ; at the
moment of writing this that engagement has lasted
close upon nine months, and looks quite likely to
record yet another nine, The Girl in the Train
being evidently a first- class traveller, who appears to
have taken out a season ticket, but with the addi-
tioned privilege of being able to transfer her " season-
ticket" to other representatives of the part, Miss
Phyllis Dare having had four successful successors
who have in turn changed at Vaudeville Junction and
taken other lines ; as a matter of fact I am the only
passenger who has made the complete journey with-
out a stop.

I conclude this chapter, as I threatened, with my
attempt to describe in verse one of the episodes on
my journey to Halifax, and may perhaps be allowed

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to reiterate the hint that there is no binding obliga-
tion to read it.

DAWN ON THE MOORS

There is a wind which blows when dawn is near
And all the world is lying calm and still ;
And whatso'er may be the time of year
This wind, or faint or strong, is always chill !
Just as our forces fail at ebb of tide,
Which brings the weakest hour of all to man,
So does the desolated countryside
Appear to suffer from the self-same ban !

Come to this window here, and watch with me
The soft grey dawning of this April day,
And turn your eyes, the misty shapes to see
Of beech and elm and larch in feathered spray.
We rush and roar along in speeding train
Out on the top of undulating wolds
Which are a-glint with newly-fallen rain
That greets us as the silv'ry dawn unfolds.

What are those forms fantastic, dancing there
Out on the misty moorlands' rise and fall ?
Are they gay cavaliers and ladyes fair
Beneath the trees they deem a pillared Hall ?
See how the sunrise with its first faint gleam
Throws on these shapes an opalescent mist,
Lends them the colours of an artist's dream
Such as you find in cobweb new sun-kist !

What is the measure which they tread so fast,
These slender wraiths by April dawning drest ?
So strenuous, they sink to earth at last,
As though in yearning for their long day's rest !
186

DAWN ON THE MOORS

Smoke from the engine, say you ? Surely no !
Visions evoked by thoughts of other dawns !
See ! There is one whose graceful form I know !
Who oft has paced with me on trim-kept lawns.

And look ! The Sun is tinging all the skies
With promise of another heav'n-sent day
Such as, alone, she gives me, when her eyes,
So tender, sweet and true, are turned my way !
The Day is come ! And she — who knows it near —
And knows me lonely — sees me, in her sleep —
Comes with it ! For a moment, brief but clear,
We are together ! Lovers' tryst to keep !

187

CHAPTER XVI

UNDERSTUDIES AND ASPIRANTS

WHATEVER the play to be produced, musical or
.otherwise, we are constantly being told nowadays
by the " inspired " journalist that, " Mr Manager has
found great difficulty in casting certain of the parts " ;
this is, on the face of it, only another way of sug-
gesting that there is an alarming dearth of talent
among actors and actresses, an imputation which
is perhaps not entirely unwarranted — although it is
my belief that there are plenty of artists of both
sexes who only need the longed-for opportunity to
prove their mettle. There are many seekers for these
opportunities, but they do not always materialise
because of the seeking, although the simple fact of
being "on the spot" has frequently had a happy
result, but just as frequently the reverse. Luck
enters largely into the matter; as for instance in
a case which came under my personal observation
quite lately : a stage aspirant had successfully stormed
the magic circle and, though only just emerged from
his shell, was of so precocious a nature as to be forth-
with entrusted with a few — but important — lines ; in
justice to him it must be admitted that he was born
with certain social advantages which made for com-

188

LUCK

petency in the matter of speaking the King's English
and also endowed him with an accompanying dis-
tinction of appearance ; he was no sooner afloat
on his first small raft than he consulted me on
applying for the second understudy of the principal
comedy part, which he was very diffident about
obtaining. I ventured a prophecy that he would get
it, and moreover that, should he have the good
fortune to be wanted to play it, he would come
through the ordeal with credit. Within less than
one month he was instructed to proceed to a large
town in the provinces and take up the part, the
principal comedian having been taken ill ; and his
performance was so satisfactory to the management
that he has remained in the company ever since.
This of course is a deserving case, but here is where
the luck came in : the first understudy would, in
the ordinary course of events, have been sent from
London, but could not be spared from his post
because the comedian he understudied had been
ordered to take a rest.

This is of course a somewhat exceptional case
and many aspirants may grow grey as understudies
without such a chance.

I should be the last to depreciate the value of
an artistic education, either musical or dramatic, and
everyone is aware of the good work done not only
by public academies but also by schools formed by
active or retired singers and actors ; but I invariably
experience a feeling of sadness on reading those
lengthy lists of names, which appear with an appalling

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regularity, of students who have passed this or that
test, have won gold or silver medals for this or that
accomplishment, and are then scattered broadcast
to assail the different professions for which they
are stamped as not only eligible but proficient.

As regards acting, pure and simple — by which
I only mean to exclude musical plays — there cannot
possibly be more than one school which the aspirant
will find it advantageous to join, the school of
" practice in public," and of this stamp of school there
are not many to choose from ; in bygone days Sarah
Thome's companies were responsible for many of the
well-taught artists who are still among us, and to
F. R. Benson undoubtedly belongs the credit of
doing yeoman service to the modern stage, his
Shakespearean repertoire company having, under
his judicious training, been the means of discovering,
modelling and perfecting the dormant talents of
many of our present prominent favourites.

All the odd "acting societies" which have been
formed of late years must also undoubtedly work for
good ; I do not intend, in using the word " odd," any
reflection on their character or behaviour, but only
an allusion to their number, which seems steadily
on the increase, the title chosen by one of the latest
formed possibly however having influenced my mind
in using the adjective. They most certainly provide
opportunities for producing such talent as their
committees may decide to be in the possession of
certain plays and players, which otherwise might
languish for ages in the oblivion from which some of

190

SCHOOLS OF ACTING

each should never have been dragged, and for this
the playgoing public should be grateful, for in spite
of all the drawbacks of inconvenient times and places
of production, which render the presence of the
" managerial eye " a difficulty, I believe it is a fact
that these performances have proved of material
advantage to authors, artists, and even absentee
managers.

These societies are, however, hardly " schools,"
many of the artists belonging to them, and taking
part in their performances, having already won their
spurs in the acting world and accepting these fitful
appearances as a means of reminding forgetful
managers that there is genuine talent about, if they
will only spare the time to look for it.

Aspirants for work in musical plays have perhaps
more to go through before coming into the horizon
of the manager's view than their more fortunate
brethren of the dramatic stage, having first of all
to pass the dread ordeal of a " voice trial," nowadays
rather magniloquently alluded to as " an audition " ;
the word ordeal only faintly describes what is fre-
quently a holocaust of ambitious victims, who stand
or sit about the stage in dismal half-dozens awaiting
their turn to demonstrate their fitness, or the reverse,
before a judge of the sternest description and a jury
composed of fellow-aspirants, robbed of most of their
sympathy from the very fact of the competition. It
is little wonder that voices quiver and knees tremble
long before the first verse of the selected song has
been interrupted with a suave " Thank you — that

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will do — you shall hear from us if there is a
vacancy."

I have been present at many of these " auditions,"
and must admit that the sketch given of one of them
by Pelissier and his confreres at the Apollo is so
near the actual thing at some moments as to be
almost equally painful.

I suppose there is no actor or actress of assured
position who is not constantly being implored to
use his or her influence in obtaining a start for some
prodigy of talent which has been discovered by, as
a rule, admiring mothers or fathers, whose notions
as to the requirements for a theatrical career would
be laughable if not so pathetic.

There is a popular superstition to the effect that
" a word from you will do so much, Mr Actor," but
my own experience teaches me that, with of course
some few exceptions, that " word " is, if anything,
less of an assistance than an actual drawback ; I
fancy there is a lurking suspicion on the part of the
high official approached that the counsel for the
plaintiff has his own fish to fry, and no doubt this
is frequently the case, while an additional difficulty
is added to the procuring of an opening for some
prote'ge' by the species of chevaux-de-frise of accre-
dited agents and appointed talent seekers which
surrounds every manager of distinction, and who
are humanly resentful of any infringements of their
privileges.

The commercial element will also occasionally enter
largely into the transaction ; of course entirely with-

192

LONG PROBATION

out the knowledge of the manager, and against his
principles as well, and I well remember a case
occurring some years since when it was discovered
that a chorus master had framed his recommendation
of the applicants on a scale corresponding with the
fee he had received ; needless to say that, on the
circumstances leaking out — if I remember rightly
through his strongly recommending a vocalist who
had no voice whatever — he ceased to adorn that
particular theatre with his presence.

Even after all the outworks have been stormed,
and the much-desired contract secured, there is in
most cases a long and wearisome term of probation
to be passed before the chance is offered, and bitter
heart-burning will be aroused by the selection, for
some inexplicable reason, of another aspirant for the
position which on the surface belongs, of right, to the
slighted one.

I was once rehearsing for a musical play in which
I was to appear, and the leading lady — who had a
rather dramatic type of part — was for some reason
prevented from attending some three or four re-
hearsals ; it was naturally difficult to proceed with
the scenes in which she was concerned without some
sort of representative, and being the early days of
rehearsals, understudies had not been allotted ; how-
ever, on a request from the stage manager for
someone to come to his assistance and read the
part, an intelligent and youthful chorister promptly
proceeded to show that she not only knew most of
the words and music but was capable of giving a
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more than useful rendering of the part ; the average
person would reason from this that she would be
given the regular understudy — which in fact she
was — and that on the first opportunity she would
be called upon to play it — which she was not — at
least two other people being given preference over
her. The same girl also came to the rescue one
evening during the run of the play, when the
soubrette of the cast was suddenly seized with illness
just as the end of the act approached, and stepping
out of the ranks took up the part and finished the
act, thus saving an awkward situation.

I am not at all sure that there is not a certain
danger to the prospects of a career in demonstrating
this species of " general utility," the above being by
no means an isolated case of the kind within my own
experience, and it is only too certain that such treat-
ment, however unavoidable, and for whatever reason
meted out, is bound to create a feeling of discourage-
ment difficult of dissipation.

The ideas of stage managers certainly appear to
run in a kind of groove, at least as regards under-
studies, any effort at originality on their part being,
as a rule, sternly repressed ; this is all very well, of
course, if such originality tends to make a serious
difference in the scheme of the play or scene in which
it is shown, but as so many of the popular favourites
of the day have secured much of their popularity by
certain little tricks of manner, quaint gestures and
idiosyncrasies of all sorts and kinds, it naturally
follows that it must prove an almost insurmountable

194

PERCEPTION

handicap to the understudy to be compelled to follow
so literally in the footsteps of his or her overstudy, so
few of the supervisors having the power to discrimi-
nate in the matter of personal temperament and
thereby realise the values of a slightly different read-
ing compelled by the difference in nature.

This lack of perception is the means of placing
many a round peg in a square hole while square pegs
to fit truly lie at hand unnoticed ; if Mr Jones is
short, stout and shock-headed, the ranks of the
professional army are searched to provide an under-
study for him with the same personal attractions, and
he is secured without any consideration as to his real
fitness for the part and even less as to whether the
part might not perhaps be more effective if played by
an artist who is tall, thin and of more sedate capillary
adornments. Confusion becomes worse confounded
if, in such a case, the part played by the original
artist is not precisely of the style which the author
would have written for him had he been aware of his
going to play it, but which, by right of his position
as " principal comedian," is, in a manner, forced upon
him ; it is easy to understand that, given the original
discrepancy between artist and role, and adding thereto
the difference between artist and understudy, we fre-
quently obtain a kaleidoscopic result as irritating as
it is unnecessary.

Looked at from every aspect there is little doubt
that the position of an understudy is a not too envi-
able one, and it is not to be wondered at that those
who have been through the mill, and have attained

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success are as a rule full of sympathy and ready with
assistance to those who are still on probation, and it
is by no means one of the least pleasant incidents of
stage life to recall the many occasions on which, after
the fall of the final curtain, a spontaneous and hearty
burst of applause has greeted the initial effort of a
performer, from the hands not only of the principal
artists concerned but the entire company, who have
watched that effort with a sympathy and appreciation
possibly enhanced by the reflection that yet another
has stepped out of the ranks and set foot on the
ladder of success.

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CHAPTER XVII

AUTHORS AND ALTERATIONS

THE would-be playwright of to-day has, it would
seem, a far greater chance of securing a hearing,
or at all events a reading, than was accorded
to his like in past times, a fact that undoubtedly
works for the benefit of the play-going public ; for
where, some years ago, we could count the recognised
authors almost on the fingers of one hand, not only
would both hands now be wanted but even the feet-
fingers might have to be requisitioned ; the latter
suggestion is not, perhaps, entirely inept, as some of
the so-called plays which have actually been presented
to a discriminating public verdict have been sufficiently
clumsily contrived as to warrant the innuendo.

The " one-handed " authors, so to speak, have
maintained their well-earned position, but serious
rivals have sprung up in all directions, and some of
the most notable successes of late years have been
achieved by women writers, some of them being
novelists of distinction and some entering the arena
direct, thereby escaping one of the most insidious
pitfalls laid for the former, that of a predisposition
to redundancy which is the natural outcome of tale-
writing as opposed to play- writing.

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In this connection it is rather interesting to observe
that the " dramatised novel " very rarely obtains the
success achieved by the "original" play, and the
writers who have succeeded in dramatising their own
novels without seeking the aid of someone qualified
to instruct in the art of stage construction are even
rarer than the nigro cygno so frequently alluded to
by the platitudinist. It is in fact becoming more
and more plain that, with the exception of some few
writers, more than one cook is an absolute necessity
to the proper seasoning of the dramatic broth, and
even among the exceptions are to be found exceptions
where the friendly critic has been compelled to place
a warning finger on a weak spot.

It is certain that in the case of musical plays it has
become a sine qua non that a multiplicity of cooks shall
be employed, even the writer of the love lyrics, in
some cases, being considered as unequal to the strain,
or should it be strains, of also providing the neces-
sary humorous songs, thereby frequently producing a
hotchpotch of style which has perhaps done as much
as anything to earn for this kind of entertainment
the definition of "go as you please."

As an instance of the incongruities which may, and
do, arise out of this situation the present version of
T/te Girl in the Train offers a striking example ;
with the inclusion in the cast of Miss Connie Ediss
it became imperative to provide her with a song,
sua generis, and an additional author was at once
called in to furnish it, with the happy result of a
great success for Miss Ediss in a ditty entitled

198

INCONSISTENCIES

" When I was in the Chorus at the Gaiety," which is
set to a very captivating tune ; I have not been able
to discover the names of either author or composer,
but gather that the former could hardly have seen the
play, in which Miss Ediss' part is that of an old and
valued confidential maid-servant in a Dutch family,
resident in Holland, who could never by any possi-
bility have appeared at the Gaiety Theatre, London.

Of course, where the story or plot of a piece is of
no great consequence these glaring inconsistencies
may by their effectiveness warrant their inclusion, but
where there is more than a thread of a story — as there
undoubtedly is in this play — it becomes a rather
severe task on the energies and talents of the
members of the cast holding that thread, to reunite
it and reawaken the interest of the audience which
has been shattered by a violent break at the moment
it was thought to be secured.

The feelings of an author who revisited his play
after a long absence, and possibly in ignorance of the
changes made, can be more easily imagined than
described ; but even so, when met with the comfort-
ing assurance that the box-office receipts had appreci-
ably increased, owing to these innovations, there is
little doubt that his resentment would be soothed by
the application of a little unearned increment.

1 have often thought that it would be interesting,
in the way of an experiment, to adopt the same pro-
cedure in the case of a comedy written, say, by some
one of our autocratic authors who allows no other pen
to have a share in his work.

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Take for instance a play by Sir Arthur Pinero
(any play) which has earned its usual great success
and is at length approaching the end of the run ;
retain the main features of the plot and reverse all the
characters ; let the good long-suffering husband be-
come the " pleasure-seeking-at-any-cost-to-domestic-
happiness" person, in place of the wife, as in the
original, and so on with the rest of the cast, possibly
by this means arousing sufficient curiosity in the
public mind to furnish another twelve months'
run.

In the important matter of royalties the position of
modern authors shows great improvement, the per-
centages are larger, and are paid with a regularity
undreamt of in " the good old days," and therefore
one successful play proves in itself a small fortune,
another reason why so many plays are now exploited.

An excellent story apropos this question appeared
the other day in London Opinion, which, with
apologies, I venture to annex ; the author was the
well-known and popular musical director of Drury
Lane, Jimmy Glover, who said that he once adapted
a play from the French for three pounds, with promise
of a further ten shillings if it were a success ; the
purchaser made something like twenty thousand out
of it, and, concludes Glover, " it is only fair to say
that when I wrote for the extra ten shillings it was
paid without a murmur " — under modern conditions
there would have been at least two noughts to follow
that ten.

Another feature in the modern author contract is

200

A GOOD PLAY NO GOOD

that after a certain term his play, with the rights in it,
returns to him, manifestly a most fair arrangement,
and one which prevents the locking up of the author's
property, which may occur from some totally unfor-
seen cause.

I myself suffered from want of knowledge of this
point when surrendering, for a very modest per-
centage, the entire rights of a musical play which
I had adapted ; it was quite a success, has been once
reproduced, with equal success, in spite of adverse
circumstances, and yet is lost to me for ever unless
an opportunity, totally unlocked for by me, arises
for a further production by the same manager.

One great difficulty with which authors have to
contend is in writing a play for a certain cast or,
possibly, one or two certain performers, this diffi-
culty being intensified in the case of a play written
for an actor- manager.

I once dramatised a very well-known novel for
an equally well-known man of this position, and
on reading the play to him was more than pleased
when he remarked, " That is one of the best plays I've
heard for a long time," but my satisfaction was short
lived, for he went on to say, " but — there are too
many good parts in it for it to suit me — it is an
absolute necessity that the part I play should stand
out in importance above all the rest " ; naturally this
line of argument did not appeal to me, but assuming
him to be the best judge of his own interests I felt
that discussion was useless, and the manuscript joined
the others on my shelf of " waiting in hopes."

201

One of the most painful sensations which an author
can inflict upon himself may be found in the re-
perusal of some play which he has taken down from
the aforesaid shelf, under the impression that it would
be "just the thing" for So-and-so, who has perhaps
communicated the want of a play ; the film of dust on
the cover (he is a tidy man and it is but a film) is
removed, and he sits down to read it with anticipa-
tory enjoyment. More often than not he gets no
further than the first act before finding out that
the six months or so which have elapsed since its
completion have covered the film of dust with an
accumulation of rust which makes every situation and
speech creakwith antiquity ; his only consolation being
the rare fortune of finding the germ idea still good,
and worth the expenditure of fresh hours of hard work.

Dramatic authors suffer far less than those who
write the libretti for musical pieces from the alterations
and eliminations to which their plays are subjected,
and very necessarily so, at the earlier rehearsals.
So many pages of dialogue require so much time
to deliver, and the length can be fairly easily deter-
mined before coming to the stage at all, but when
the musical numbers have to be reckoned with, not
to speak of time allowed for the inevitable encores,
the time-sheet is thrown very much out of balance,
and I have known it necessary, even as late as the
dress rehearsal, to cut out solid blocks of the play,
which, unless done by a practised hand, is apt to
render the whole somewhat disjointed.

The fatigue of these lengthy rehearsals is enormous,

202

PAYMENT FOR REHEARSAL

and I have constantly known them to last from eleven
o'clock until five-thirty, with an interval for lunch.

In one play we were producing at Daly's some years
since we had a remarkable sequence of these long
days, owing to what was perhaps a somewhat unusual
vagueness in the method of the author, and as they
threatened to become a serious item of expense to the
choristers, George Edwardes, with his invariable
thoughtfulness for all concerned in his productions,
commissioned a certain caterer to supply tea and beef
sandwiches and cake for the sustenance of the hard-
working members of the chorus. Needless to say
that this kind action was fully appreciated by all,
except perhaps one man who fancied he saw in it
a possibility of getting even further concessions from
the management in shape of payment for rehearsals,
and, with this object in view, proposed that they
should all sign a letter of thanks to Edwardes ; this
was received with acclamation, and the letter written,
whereupon he suggested an addition in the shape of
a request for payment ; this being as peremptorily
negatived as the other had been approved he re-
marked : " Well, we might write it and scratch it
out!"

Naturally none but the merest tyro actually enjoys
rehearsing, and in the case of a play which is running
well and, in consequence of illness or absence from
some other cause of one or two members of the cast,
needs constant attendance at the theatre for the sake
of those taking their places, is much more of a
weariness than the original affair. We have been

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MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

curiously unfortunate in this respect with The Girl in
tJie Train, having had few entire weeks without a call
of some sort.

Speaking about this on one occasion brought me
a recompense in the form of an interesting re-
miniscence on the part of my old friend Colonel
McCalmont, to whom I was unburdening myself
of the grievance. It seems that many years ago
he played Sir Joseph Porter in Pinafore with some
amateurs in Belfast, and made such a hit in the part
that D'Oyly Carte gave him permission to appear in
the part with the Repertoire Company whenever it
found itself in the town, and he cared to do so.
He told me that on several occasions he did so, and
only relinquished the pleasure on finding out the dis-
taste the company evinced for attending rehearsals of
a play which they had been appearing in for years.
As a reward for their forbearance he took advantage
of his last appearance chancing to be made on the eve
of the wedding of one of the ladies of the company to
invite them all to dinner, and a very joyous gathering
resulted, jthe Dick Deadeye of the company, my old
friend Billington, afterwards declaring that from the
time of demolition of the lobster salad he had no
further recollection of how the evening was spent,
except that he did make up for the part. The
colonel gave the bride away at the ceremony on
the following day, and used his authority as loco
parentis to soothe the anger of a christening party
which insisted on a prior claim on the church and
failed to appreciate the very natural impatience of the

204

STAGE-MANAGING THE BIRDS IN MY GARDEN

SENSE OF HUMOUR

bride and bridegroom, whose occupation necessitated
an appearance the same evening in lolanthe.

At one of our lengthy rehearsals at the Savoy,
when the company was also playing at night, .1
remember we were all getting very tired, and Gilbert
perhaps a little irritated at the inevitable slackness,
when suddenly one of the ladies of the chorus stepped
forward and said, " I want to go home." Gilbert,
ready as usual, replied, " Well, we all want to go
home — what's the matter ? " The lady announced
that she must go, as she had been very much annoyed
by one of the gentleman choristers putting his arm
round her waist and calling her " a pretty dear," but
she was immediately mollified, and resumed her place,
on Gilbert assuring her very seriously that "he
couldn't have meant it ! "

Most actors are blessed with a sense of humour,
which is undoubtedly fostered by the nature of their
calling, and it is indeed fortunate that this should be
so for the workers in a profession so full of vicissi-
tudes and trials of all kinds ; the actor is almost
always optimistic and that good engagement which
is to bring fame and wealth is always in the immedi-
ate future, even after weary months of waiting, and
as a rule he bears his reverses with a jauntiness born
of the brave heart he carries. The much-discussed
question of "Sketches" must frequently bring an
anxious thought to the minds of many to whom
" the Halls " have been a boon not fully appreciated
perhaps by those in regular work. Surely there is
room for all: the sketch players do not oust the

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single-turn artists, and many a manager has dis-
covered in a sketch the very person he has been
vainly seeking to fill some position in a forthcoming
production ; neither managers nor actors can spend
all their time on the steps of the agent's office, and a
short visit to a music hall may often result in profit
as well as amusement.

That there should be a time limit is, I think,
reasonable, both in fairness to the regular theatres
and in defence of the single-turn artist, who might
be in danger of being crowded out, though this
danger, owing to the cosmopolitan taste of music-
hall audiences is reduced to a minimum.

The sense of humour is naturally not always in
evidence, a proof of which was furnished to me the
other day in the telling of a story by Huntley Wright
to myself and another actor, who shall be nameless.
Two brother play-actors had foregathered in a hotel
bar in Manchester and one remarked, "Dear old
chap — haven't seen you for years — where are you
now ? " " Oh, I'm out with Wicked Women
and this week, dear boy, we're regularly 'off the
map,' a place called ' Ince ' — sort of suburb of Wigan
— but next week, thank goodness ! we get back to
civilisation." "Oh — where are you next week?"
"'Delf,' old boy." "Ah!" Both Wright and
myself thoroughly enjoyed this, but the third never
even smiled and then said : "I never heard of
either of those places. "

I heard from the same source two stories con-
cerning theatrical landladies which strongly appealed

206

HUNTLEY WRIGHT'S CHRISTMAS DINNER

to me, having lately had an experience of some
of the weird specimens of this product ; needless to
say that both the ladies were provincial and of quite
an ordinary type.

The first related to Christmas Day. Huntley
Wright having, of course, a night off, and wishing
to take advantage of it by giving a little dinner and
card party, had done all his shopping and rang for
his landlady after breakfast, to give final instructions.
She appeared, with red eyes, a most woebegone ex-
pression, and clad in deep mourning which had seen
much wear ; having taken his courage in both hands
he started on his instructions, to be met at once with
the statement: "You can't 'ave no dinner in this
'ouse to-day." Fearing some terrible bereavement,
the would-be host inquired the reason. " Well,
sir," was the reply, " you see this is 'ow it is. I lost
my dear 'usband on Chrismiss Day ten years ago."

"Ten years!" shouted Wright. "Well, but "

" Wait a moment," sniffed the mourner — " every
year since then I've took a day's 'oliday — which I
spends sittin on 'is tombstone \ " There was no dinner.

The other case was that of a very sympathetic old
Lancashire landlady, and the occasion was the catch-
ing of a chill which necessitated lying in bed for a
day or so ; she was one of that type of women who
has inevitably suffered from the same complaint as
the patient to whom she may be talking, but always
in a much more virulent form, or, if that course
appears inconvenient, has had a friend or relation
who was " never free from it."

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On this occasion the patient was suffering, as I said
before, from a chill on the liver, and it is a very odd
thing about this type of lady that although she will
discuss, with appalling frankness, the state of her
internal mechanism there is one exception she makes,
and that is the liver, no lady being supposed to
possess such a thing; it was therefore her husband
who was used in the following species of monologue :
— " Chill on the liver ? — ah — and well I remember my
'usband with it — 'e 'ad jest your 'igh colour — couldn't
fancy anything but a little rum and milk — I suppose

you No ? — ah, you've gone past it — jest like 'e did,

poor fellow — an' that's jest 'ow 'e used to swear at
me too — lor' — you are like 'im — died in that very bed

'e did, where you're a-lyin' " Hasty exit to avoid a

carefully aimed golf-boot.

Whatever their faults, however, they are a kind-
hearted race, and prone to great disappointment if
the appetite of their tenant proves unequal to the
lavish supply they make when left to their own
devices, although in some cases there is this method
in their madness : that much will be " left over " which
will never be asked for again. That this is not always
so was proved to me by my landlady once in Man-
chester, when I was dining out on the Sunday ; just
as I was getting into the cab she waddled up and
thrust a very sticky parcel into my hand with the
remark : " In case they don't give ye enough ! " The
packet contained some half-dozen sandwiches, and a
cake of home-made toffee which was rapidly melting
all over the bread.

208

CHAPTER XVIII

"THE CHOCOLATE SOLDIER" — "BARON TRENCK"

THE shortsighted policy of looking too far ahead has
often, in theatrical matters at least, brought in its
train a series of complications, not to say disasters,
which might have been avoided by adopting the
more obvious one of leaving well alone, the great
difficulty being of course to decide when it is " well,"
this difficulty being increased by the extraordinary
unanimity of the diametrically opposite opinions
offered by "those who should know," on each and
every play that has ever been submitted to the
public.

The divergence of individual opinions on a play
is really something marvellous ; you will find two
clubmen discussing, let us say, TJie Quaker Girl
and TJie Arcadians. A will tell you that the former
is "absolutely the biggest rot I ever saw," and the
latter — " the only thing worth going to just now " ;
while B will give an identical opinion but transpose
the plays. It is to be presumed that both are
equally sincere in their pronouncements, but it is an
interesting problem to solve as to which of them is
correct in his summing up, especially when we con-
sider that, it being after all a matter of personal
opinions, both may be right,
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An odd point about these much-discussed plays—
I refer to plays generally, and not in particular to
the two I have chosen for purposes of illustration-
is that, in spite of a strongly worded contempt for the
entertainment, you will find at certain theatres the
expressors of these criticisms in constant evidence,
and certainly not voicing any dissatisfaction with the
fare provided. Of course in some cases this may be
accounted for by the lure of the personal friend on
the working side of the footlights, but when that
attraction does not exist the motive for supporting
a decried entertainment is difficult of comprehen-
sion.

A periodical statement is made in all journals
dealing with theatrical matters to the effect that in
musical plays "there is a strongly developing taste
on the part of the public for those which present
a continuity of plot and action with more than a
soup f on of serious interest." This statement has,
within my recollection, cropped up with studied
regularity whenever there has seemed to be a dearth
of the "go-as-you-please" form of play, but that
there is more than a modicum of truth in the im-
plication is, to my mind, amply demonstrated by
the success of plays of Tlie Chocolate Soldier type.
Here we have a piece which, in regard to the differ-
ent parts, is more fairly balanced than is the case
with the one in which two, or perhaps three, artists
are overloaded with material, producing the inevit-
able shrinkage in the work allotted to other members
of the cast, who, given the opportunity, are usually j

210

COMIC (?) INTERPOLATIONS

equally as competent to shine as their more favoured (?)
brethren.

The leading soprano, by the exigencies of the plot,
carries the larger burden of this work, but even then
the proportions are better maintained than usual,
with the result of an effective ensemble which, in
giving each their opportunity, constitutes an en-
tertainment much more acceptable to the general
public. Also, in this kind of play there is no pos-
sibility allowed to the artist known to the present-
day playgoer as "an irresponsible comedian " to em-
broider his part with words or business absolutely
foreign to the matter in hand, and this I believe to
be a very great factor in the success of this stamp of
play. The really intelligent comedian should surely
be capable of importing his personal humour into
each and every part he plays without stepping out of
the environment of the piece, but it is very rarely
the case to find this done, and perhaps the excuse
may be urged that a laxity in this matter is met
with more approval from the majority of the play-
goers than is signified by the minority, who appreciate
the more artistic abstention from such methods.

It is difficult to call to mind any musical play
wherein the comic men and women have not, at some
period of the evening, induced a feeling of regret
(not to use a stronger word) at some totally un-
necessary interpolation which has severely marred
what was otherwise an excellent, and possibly even
artistic, performance. Of course, in many cases, these
regrettable interpolations are less the fault of the

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MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

artists making them than that of the manager who
introduces them, equally of course with the best
possible motive — namely, that of (in his opinion)
brightening up the piece. That this method is not
invariably attended with the happiest results is con-
clusively proved, in my humble opinion, in the case
of The Girl in the Train. Here we have what was,
at the start, a straightforward play, with a plot which
was developed in a pleasant and interesting manner,
and, without unduly fatiguing the attention, adhered
to in the second act, and brought to the inevitable
happy conclusion with what one might describe as
a praiseworthy consecutiveness which, from its very
rarity, seemed to be worth preserving, not only to
those concerned in the work, but also to the playgoer
with a preference for this type of piece. But what
happens ? The powers that be come to the conclusion,
for reasons naturally not divulged, but presumably
not entirely disconnected with the box-office returns,
that the introduction of some new feature is impera-
tive to give the play the fillip which seems advisable.
The return to England, after some years' absence,
of so popular a public favourite as Miss Connie Ediss
apparently synchronised with the object in view, and
she was persuaded to take the seat in the train vacated
by the former " confidential maid " to the heroine, Mrs
Van Buren ; everyone knows, admires, and loves (and
speaks of her as) Connie Ediss, and in suitable sur-
roundings her humour and breadth of style have again
and again proved invaluable, but in this particular
instance a strong note of incongruity was struck by

212

MR F. C. WHITNEY

the confidential Dutch servant of a Dutch mistress
living in Holland breaking out into a song dealing
with famous London and Brighton hotels, and with
the refrain of "When I was in the Chorus at the
Gaiety."

A sympathetic little scene between the mistress
and maid was eliminated entirely, to the disadvantage
of the plot, and those of us who had to deal with the
story were distinctly conscious of an effort being
required to reunite the broken thread.

That the song in question was an undoubted
success is an incontrovertible fact, and, in its proper
environment, would have made the success of any act
in which it fell, but it did not certainly belong to this
play, and, as I have tried to show, caused a break in
the interest which proved exceedingly difficult to
bridge.

It was just about this time that I was " approached "
on behalf of Mr Wrhitney, who was gratifyingly
anxious to secure me for his production of Baron
Trenck, and as I imagined I saw symptoms of the
train approaching a terminus I consulted the Super-
intendent of the Traffic, who very kindly consented
to my stepping off when the train slowed down for
Holy Week. However, Fate stepped in once more,
and a very severe attack of bronchitis necessitated
my removal to a nursing-home some ten days earlier,
and although I was anxious to reappear for a few
nights, at least, on recovering, George Edwardes
thought it inadvisable to make any further change,
in which he was doubtless correct, but I felt some

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natural disappointment at having played my part for
the last time without being aware of it.

I was thus free to commence rehearsals of Baron
Trenck, this being my first engagement with a
manager owing allegiance to the Stars and Stripes.

Mr Whitney is the fortunate possessor of a person-
ality so genial as to make him a persona grata with
all who come in contact with him, and with this
trait he combines an optimism which is positively
exhilarating, and although the first-night reception
of Baron Trenck was not altogether favourable,
even though enthusiastic at moments, it entirely
failed to shake his faith in the ultimate success of
the opera, a faith which I admit I share, for where
there is so much to enjoy and admire it only needs
the elimination of the dull portions, and the general
" pulling-together " which, at the time of writing
this, the opera is undergoing, to establish its success,
and, incidentally, dissipate the reputation for ill luck
which in some odd way the theatre has acquired.

An initial error was made in describing it as a
"comic opera," which it certainly is not, the term
which would have fitted it more nearly being, in my
estimation, " light opera," which is a distinction with
a great difference, the predominance given by the
author to the love interest completely overshadowing
the "comic relief." This combination arises, as I
gathered from the original adaptor of the German
book, from two causes, firstly, the attraction possessed
by these lengthy duets in dramatic style for the
German audiences, and secondly to the uproarious

214

' HUSTLING "

mirth aroused in the same audiences by humour
which, to the differently constituted English mind,
appears to be not only feeble to a degree but of so
hoary an antiquity as to be unworthy of disinterment.

Whether the faith I have alluded to is to be
justified or not, remains to be seen, but the come-
dians entrusted with the lighter side of the work have
plenty of straw to hand for the making of their
proverbial bricks, the first act being most fortuitously
laid in a farmyard, the cheerful aspect of which is
somewhat discounted by an overwhelming tree of
a totally unknown type, presumably of Slavonian
origin, but not, it is fervently to be hoped, the
Slavonian Upas.

The American method of rehearsing naturally
interested me much, as a novel experience, the play
having an American " producer," who was described
to me as a " hustler " of pronounced ability, and in
whom Mr Whitney had every confidence ; I found
him a genial, capable man, with a very keen sense
of humour, which stood him in good stead in dealing
with our insular idiosyncrasies, but the marvellous
smoothness of the Savoy rehearsals of the olden days,
conducted entirely by Gilbert, have perhaps made me
slightly hypercritical on the subject of time-wasting,
a feeling which has not been wholly eradicated by
the many subsequent years of trial in connection
with musical comedies, so many scenes in which
are absolutely and literally written at rehearsal, but
with regard to this production there was only one
serious cause of delay, arising from the " producer's "

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conception of one of the two most prominent characters
differing in a most marked manner from that of Mr
Whitney, who, being unable to attend the earlier
rehearsals, found himself in the position of having
to "undo and remake" — at a very considerable
expenditure of time and patience on the part of all
concerned ; the only drawback to this bouleversement
of a reading of character is the appearance, at odd
moments, of certain remnants of the earlier teaching,
thereby producing a complexity of character not
perhaps intended by the author.

The success of an opera or musical comedy, but
more especially the former, must of necessity depend
on the clearness with which the plot or story (if any
exist) reaches the intelligence of the audience, and
the fact should never be lost sight of that the
audience has assembled to be amused and will almost
involuntarily resent a strain upon its attention
sufficient to warrant the query " What is it all
about ? "

If this fact were more generally recognised, authors
would grasp the inadvisability of telling such plot or
story in the form of lyrics, instead of a few concise
speeches which would furnish all the needful explana-
tion, while the lyrics could be left to the tender
mercies of the artists dealing with them.

To tell the story in lyrics necessitates not only a
Gilbert to write them, but artists possessed of an
enunciation in the delivery which is unfortunately
very rare, I was about to write " nowadays," but on
retrospection I have come to the conclusion that

216

HARSH (?) CRITICISM

singers of the present day are at least no worse than
their forerunners, and some of them even better, but
the chief offenders in this matter of indistinct delivery
are undoubtedly those who attach undue importance
to "voice production," and the blame for this, I
fancy, rests less on their shoulders than on those of
their instructors, who probably adopt what is known
as "the Italian method."

I have before now alluded to the difficulty, within
my own experience, of writing singable lyrics to
music already composed, a difficulty largely increased
in the case of rendering into English, lyrics which
have been set by a foreign composer in a foreign
tongue, but the difficulty is by no means insurmount-
able, though it calls imperatively for two qualifications
in the attack — namely, a knowledge of music and
a keen perception in the matter of emphasis.

One journal, in dealing with the production of
Baron Trenck, made use of the headline, " Volupiik
Opera at the Whitney Theatre," which was perhaps
a slight overstrain in the effort to display originality
on the part of the critic of the paper in question, but,
while deprecating the wilful exaggeration of the
term, it is perhaps, from another point of view,
entitled to some commendation, as indicating a
tendency on the part of, at least, one of a highly
influential body of men to write of things as he finds
them, a proceeding which is less honoured in the
breach than the observance, and also one which
offers the delightful possibility of his being able to
refer, on a second visit to the play, to the improve-

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ment consequent upon the attention paid to his
reprimand.

Mr Desmond Coke writes an interesting article on
the subject of critics, in The Daily Mail, in which he
compares the American and English critic, rather to
the advantage of the former, whom he describes as
"fearless," but he undoubtedly weakens his case in
saying that " it is surely more exhilarating than the
usual " to read such criticisms as that delivered by
a Chicago journal on Miss Blank's voice, which he
compares to that of "a rheumatic corncrake," but
he re-establishes it perhaps at the close of the
article where he proffers the following advice to the
critic : —

" As complement to tactful praise must go some truthful blame."

To which I will venture to add a line of my own :

" A combination only found in him who plays the game."

318

CHAPTER XIX

GERMAN INVASION — " THE GIRL IN THE TRAIN "

WALTZES — FOREIGN COMPETITION

ON my return to town I combined for a short time
the pleasure of playing nightly at the Tivoli with the
stress of rehearsals for the anglicised version of Die
Geschiedene Frau, and within a week or so I real-
ised that the long-threatened German invasion was
an accomplished fact.

The presence of Victor Leon, the author, Leo
Fall, the composer, their interpreters, agents and
personal suites, and later on Herr Kapellmeister
Stier who was to be the conductor, imparted quite
an international character to the proceedings, and,
largely owing to their inability to speak English and
ours to speak German, led to complications which
occasionally had their amusing side, but which of
necessity made for an appalling waste of time in
rehearsing numbers and effects which were destined
to ultimate elimination.

The Czar of all the Russias is scarcely more
autocratic than is George Edwardes in the matter of
the plays he produces, but, however much one may
deprecate the omission of some pet bit of music or
scene, the result is almost invariably a confirmation
of his judgment, and whatever may have been ex-

219

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

cised is rarely reintroduced though frequently
supplemented with something new ; as, however, the
necessity for these, often radical, alterations can only
be discovered at rehearsal, it follows naturally that
a considerable amount of time is cut to waste in
rehearsing material eventually to be pronounced
unsuitable, thus producing a weariness of the flesh in
the poor artist who only appears in the second act
and may attend for a week without even speaking.

The fact of no one being put forward as the author
of the English version of the play considerably
added to the atmosphere of doubt as to whom one
should apply for advice on certain points or instruc-
tion as to method of procedure, and even when,
eventually, a well-known author made a short series
of appearances, of a somewhat tentative description,
the presence of George Edwardes at the same time
induced a certain hesitation in saddling his shoulders
with the burden of guilt.

I look upon the piece as a kind of reversion to the
old style of entertainment of a comedy with music,
or, to give it its condensed title, a vaudeville ; the
first act, with its very occasional numbers, certainly
bears out my argument, which would be sustained
in Act II. but for one number which differs from the
rest as not being evolved entirely out of "the
situation." While there are many who find great
pleasure in this form of piece there are undoubtedly
just as many who prefer the irresponsibilities of
musical comedy, and it has amused me to find
opinions so much at variance as to, on one hand,

220

A LONG 'JOURNEY FOR NOTHING

condemn the second act for a faulty elucidation of
the story, and on the other to recommend an entire
abstention from the first I

The manager who has the savoir faire so to
manipulate his entertainment as to retain the
patronage of a clientele of such diverse requirements
is evidently possessed of an insight little less than
miraculous.

The strong resemblance of the first act to Gilbert
and Sullivan's Trial by Jury was undoubtedly the
cause of my being engaged for the part of the
President of the Divorce Court, and on my first
interview with George Edwardes he only considered
it necessary to read me that act to give me sufficient
inducement to play the part — the fact that at this
time the second act was not written, or rather
adapted, not affecting the matter — in which supposi-
tion he was quite correct.

I travelled up from Hull, where we were finishing
the tour of The Walls of Jericho, to attend my first
musical rehearsal, and was rather surprised to find
that the Judge's music was inclined to be conspicuous
by its absence, in fact I travelled all those miles and
back again to rehearse one concerted number, my
share of which was limited to certain interjections
such as " Who did ? " " Who was ? " etc., and even
these were spoken, and not sung — but I mention this
in no spirit of complaint, it being one of those little
trials which are almost unavoidable during the early
rehearsals of a new piece.

Huntley Wright had meanwhile been hard at

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MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

work learning the music of the part of Van Tromp,
the father of the heroine, and it was not until my
reappearance at rehearsal a week later that I was
met with the proposition to exchange parts with him,
considerably to my disappointment.

Although there can be no question, I hope, that
the President of the Court would have been as safe
in my hands as in his, I can readily enter into the
desire of a comedian to shine in two acts in preference
to one, and I was able to appreciate the humour of
the solution of the change as offered to me — namely,
that the author required a younger man in the part,
this reason being I fancy ascribable to a faulty trans-
lation of some wish expressed in German, as the two
are alluded to in the play as contemporaries.

There was a duet for the two men in Act II. which
threatened to partake of the character of a topical
number, but on consideration it was thought wiser to
avoid such a procedure, for the main reason that while
it is comparatively easy for a solo singer to write and
sing verses practically on a moment's notice, it is
manifestly unfair to expect the same readiness of his
partner in a duet.

In the endeavour to get away if possible from the
beaten track I had George Edwardes' permission to
approach the composer with any idea that might occur
to me, which I did, but the difficulties proved absol-
utely insurmountable.

Having evolved the idea of " Memories," I inter-
viewed author, composer, interpreter and suite, also
making a gallant if ineffectual attempt to present my

222

HUNTLEY WRIGHT

"MEMORIES"

wishes in their own vernacular, and was received with
a consideration and urbanity perfectly charming, but,
owing to the departure of the composer for his native
land, the time only allowed him to write an air before
receiving the lyric, an inversion of the recognised
method of procedure, and attended, in this instance,
with the unsatisfactory result of a tune more resemb-
ling in character the Dead March than anything else,
and therefore not affording the requisite inspiration
for the verses.

I was more fortunate in dealing with a song for
Evett, written also by Herr Fall at the last moment,
and which lent itself very easily to treatment as a love
lyric, the mode of progression being chosen as being
shorter than the alternative, which was, firstly to
write a lyric, secondly have it translated into German,
thirdly composed, and fourthly retranslated into
English ; but after all this song has not been used,
up to the present.

No one who has not tried it can have any concep-
tion of the difficulty of setting words to music already
written ; to maintain the sense is of course easy
enough, but to give grace to the metre and rhyme is
a difficult task.

In the days of old adaptations of French light
operas, such as Olivette, Mascotte and the like, the
principle of keeping the sense only was followed, with
the result that some of the so-called lyrics are appal-
ling in their baldness, but people have grown more
exigeant with time, and it is not unusual nowadays
to find a supposedly brainless patron of the stalls

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MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

offering the criticism : " I like the tune, but the words
are rotten ! " thereby displaying a more delicate sense
of art than grammar.

Everyone is aware that to criticise in any way a
case which is sub judice is a grave breach of etiquette,
if not something worse, and, as the run of a play may
be taken as placing it in the position of sub judice
I do not propose to analyse its chances of a lengthy
run ; the first-night criticism is of a different nature,
in that the merits of the play, per se, are set forth
much as a merchant, who must announce certain goods
for sale, brings them to the notice of his patrons.
That the initial success of The Girl in the Train
was very marked is an undeniable fact, and only the
future can decide whether the customary procedure
of dropping in new numbers and scenes will prove as
acceptable in a vaudeville as in that frankly confessed
hotch-potch known as a musical comedy.

This method most certainly did not obtain in the
cases of the light operas to which I have alluded, their
popularity and duration of attraction being entirely
maintained by the work as originally presented. I am
not aware who was the originator of this scheme of
" second editions," but it can hardly have been the
author, who is in some cases called upon for sufficient
material to supply the nucleus of at least two pieces,
although, presumably, at a commensurate increase in
fees.

It is a somewhat sorrowful reflection that our chief
London manager should be compelled to seek suc-
cesses in the foreign manufactories, but the fact

224

THE WALTZ

remains that The Merry Widow, The Dollar Princess,
The Girl in the Train and, if report speaks truly, The
Count of Luxembourg have done more than anything
else to remove the stigma which has hitherto attached
to everything " made in Germany."

I have heard the explanation put forward that
the Germans have very carefully studied our modus
operands in light opera, extracted therefrom all the
best points and applied them to their own scheme
(with the additional advantage they seem to possess
of plot-finders) for years past, with the happy results
exemplified in the pieces I have mentioned ; but there
is more in it than this, and I fear it is an incontrovert-
ible fact that they are ahead of us in the matter of
abundance of composers.

Still, waltzes are not the be-all and end-all of music,
though there is no denying their attractiveness, as
there is equally no denying the German pre-eminence
of composition, as far as they are concerned — if, indeed,
one might not almost say, in connection with musical
plays, only as far as they are concerned — and a piece in
which the numbers consist of a succession of waltzes is
apt to become a trifle boring, all of which fosters the
hope that, under more fortuitous circumstances, our
native composers may once again dominate the market
and introduce a few bars' rest into the seemingly in-
terminable melodious jingle of English gold trickling
into foreign pockets in the shape of fees.

The more fortuitous circumstances are to be found,
I would venture to suggest, in some new author, or
authors, who would supply pieces of the type of The
p 225

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

Arcadians or, to go back a little, The White Chrys-
anthemum, plays which interest the mind without
fatiguing it, as well as please the eye and ear, and
with these pieces forthcoming, composers like Leslie
Stuart, Howard Talbot and some two or three more
would be found equal to the occasion.

The duet " Memories," to which I have already
referred, although a fairly pronounced success on the
first night, did not altogether satisfy George Edwardes'
ideas of what was wanted, not perhaps entirely for
the situation but also for the general brightness of
the play, it being, as its name implies, more a medium
for artistic and subdued effects and not containing the
elements of bustle and movement which he considered
desirable. After some ten weeks, therefore, and as
the result of much cogitation on the part of Huntley
Wright and myself, I wrote an entirely new number,
which dealt with dancing " ancient and modern," with
dialogue between the verses ; the assistance of Doctor
Hugo Felix was secured and the happy result 'arrived
at of a duet which satisfied the powers that be and
certainly appears to appeal more strongly to our
audiences than did the former and more reposeful
one. I have not seen this number, and possibly may
never do so, but I have a slight feeling of regret at
the loss of its predecessor, together with the hope that
I may not be alone in my point of view. The number
of nails which the coffin of " the artistic " seems
capable of receiving without being entirely destroyed
is truly marvellous, but, on the other hand, it is a
very difficult matter to decide to what extent the

226

AS LUCAS VAN TROMP IN " THE GIRL IN THE TRAIN

HORSEPLAY

standard of art may be frayed without becoming torn
out of all semblance.

In this connection it is somewhat instructive to
read a criticism in Munsey's Magazine, wherein the
writer attacks our actors and audiences as follows : —
" Apropos of the foolery that seems to elicit mirth
in an English theatre, the musical comedy just now
prevalent in London furnishes striking examples. It
is as if the usually staid Britisher, once he makes up
his mind to go to the play for amusement's sake, leaves
all his ordinary standards of common-sense outside
the theatre, and is prepared to laugh at any and every
sort of nonsense that the comedians may please to
offer him." This rather sweeping condemnation is
probably to some extent deserved, but is qualified in
the same article by an allusion to The Girl in the Train
as follows : — " Its success was instantaneous, and this
time on sheer merit of piece and presentation alone,
for there is practically no interpolated horseplay."

This seems to indicate that, given the material, we
can and do maintain our standard of art, so that it all
comes back to the difficulty of finding the material, of
which no American importation, as far as my memory
serves me, has proved exceptionally remarkable for
durability or artistry of texture.

Although the word "horseplay" is somewhat in-
applicable to the situation, the difference between
the two duets I have written for Huntley Wright
and myself is almost sufficiently strongly marked to
warrant its use, and it has proved no small consolation
to me to have met many who preferred the more

F2 227

MORE RUTLAND HARRINGTON

quiet humour of " Memories," both in words and
business, to the necessarily extravagant burlesque of
The Merry Widow waltz, but, as there is no room for
doubt as to the latter effort meeting with a far larger
meed of applause and laughter than the former, there
is presumably an end to all argument as to which
is the better.

The pathetic little song which Clara Evelyn sang
at the piano, and of which I was also the guilty author,
shared the same fate as the first duet, and was re-
placed by an effort at mingling humour with pathos
(also mine) of which I felt by no means proud, but
which invariably secures an encore — yet another proof
of the sagacity of George Edwardes in the knowledge
of " what the public wants," but this desirable result
was not achieved until after a second song of a senti-
mental character, with a waltz refrain, had been given
a fair trial.

I cannot help thinking that there are indications
that the waltz numbers, of which at the present time
there would seem to be somewhat of a plethora, are
gradually losing their undoubted attraction in con-
sequence of the over-supply.

The rise of the waltz, especially the Fall waltz-
in which remark there seems to lurk a musical joke-
has been most remarkable, but the English is hardly
such a waltz-loving nature as is the German, and
there are not wanting signs of a desire to hear love
and passion sung of in a different metre, possibly a
less sensuous one.

Owing to the success of our " dancing " duet, the

228

MANY PASSENGERS

quartet which followed it was somewhat discounted
and the places of the two numbers were changed in
consequence ; this reminded me of one of my olden-
time topical songs, which proved so " popular " as to
upset most that succeeded it, and George Edwardes
asked me if I would mind it coming almost at the
end of the play ; I suggested that I should sing it
after the final curtain, but the idea did not appeal to
him, and it was left undisturbed.

In spite of many vicissitudes, in the form of absence
from the cast of many of the principals, either from
illness or other causes, we have already celebrated
our two hundred and fiftieth performance and the
running gear seems to work as if wound up for an
indefinite time.

Owing to the absence of Clara Evelyn, through
illness, we had a very strenuous day on one particu-
lar Wednesday. There were certain alterations to
go in, which had been rehearsed, and there was
a " call " for the new lady, which occupied us until
the time the doors opened for the matinee, and the
performance which followed was rather an ordeal,
most of us spending our time in the wings in a state
of uncertainty as to the new positions of certain
scenes and songs, which, added to the nervous feeling
of a new artist in one of the parts, eventually pro-
voked a sensation of great satisfaction that all had
gone off with no serious contretemps.

At different times I have played with four Presi-
dents, four Gonda Van der Loos, three Karl Van
Burens and two Mrs Van Burens, not to speak of

229

MORE RUTLAND BARRINGTON

the minor parts, and I hold the enviable record of
being the only member of the cast who has played
at every performance, but even these drastic changes
do not seem to have injured the vitality of the play.

Being a trifle envious of Huntley Wright's second-
act costume of knee breeches I requested permission
to array myself in ordinary evening dress, so as to
secure some sort of distinctiveness ; this was readily
accorded to me, and proved so effective that the
other men were very shortly clothed in the same
manner, which leaves me where I was, and necessi-
tates further thought.

The costume in which one appears has, I fancy,
very much more to do with the success with which
one meets, both from an acting and personal point
of view, than is generally recognised, and influences
to an appreciable extent the pleasure with which we
watch our favourite performers.

For instance, the late Henry Neville, who did
a large amount of fine work in his time, was essenti-
ally a " costume actor " ; his Charles Surface was
a long way the best within my recollection and was
even an outstanding feature of a cast which included
the late William Farren, a splendid Sir Peter, and
John Clayton, equally good as Joseph Surface, but
hamper Neville with modern dress and you destroyed
a large part of his delightful distinction ; with the
costume went the gallant bearing belonging to it.
To come to more modern examples, everyone knows
and appreciates the charm of Charles Hawtrey in
present-day clothing, and I would venture to assert

230

COSTUME

that many of those who saw him in T/te Noble
Spaniard felt a lack of something, the nature of
which they were possibly unable to define, the fact
being that it was " dear old Charlie," but hampered
by a peculiar rig.

Then again, my young friend Harry Irving, whose
portrait in neglige lends a characteristic thoughtful
attention to the page he faces — as Hawtrey studi-
ously regards his — is another case in point. The first
occasion on which I saw him play was in The House
Opposite, and in which he gave a masterly and
refreshing rendition of a difficult part, in modern
dress, and, having some curiosity to see whether
costume was, to him, an aid or the reverse, I
welcomed the opportunity of seeing him in Princess
Clementine, when I found that, with the exception
of some beautifully delivered love speeches, which
would certainly have seemed incongruous if associ-
ated with frock-coat and trousers, he afforded me
less pleasure than in the other play. Costume again.

Wyndham is undoubtedly one of the few men
to whom no kind of costume comes amiss ; Davy
Garrick or The Candidate — as wide apart as the
poles — make no shade of difference to his perform-
ance, or the pleasure with which we witness it, the
manner of each being assumed with the dress of each,
a fortuitous talent to possess.

These examples could of course be multiplied
ad infinitum, but are perhaps sufficient to support
my theory of the influence exerted on the actor by
" costume."

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The art of pitching the voice to suit the size of
the theatre in which one is playing is only to be
acquired by experience, by which I mean that it is
only the experienced artist who can tell at once, in
a strange theatre, what power of voice is necessary.
Some have occasionally sent someone to the back
of the gallery to report on the subject, not always
with happy results, as I remember in the case of
a lady at Daly's who had one line in the first act
which ran, "Can anyone lend me a cow?" (It was
a farmyard scene.) She sent her maid to listen, and
on her return was told : " Yes, miss ; I heard every
word. You said : * Can anyone lend me a pound ? ' '

The stage-hands are noted as a rule for a certain
dry humour, of which the following is a fairly good
example. There was a musical comedy billed at a
theatre being run by a species of mushroom manage-
ment, and the announcements ran : " Book by Sir
A. B. Lyrics by Sir C. D. Music composed by Sir
E. F." Two of the men were reading it out and one
remarked : " Bill, we're gettin' aristocratic, ain't us ?
Three knights!" To which Bill replied: "Yus;
that's about wot I give it ! "

A book must have an ending, however much one
may want to say more, but there is an always present
danger of proving wearisome whatever the entertain-
ment provided, a striking illustration of which was
furnished me the other evening. I arrived at the
Vaudeville for work at my usual time, and as I dis-
charged my taxi it was engaged by a disappointed-
looking gentleman of a kind of provincial exterior

232

H. B. IRVING

EXIT

appearance, who had come out of the house as I
drove up. He looked at me sternly as he saw me
enter the theatre and said loudly to the driver :
"Empire! Quick 1" His exit was as abrupt as
mine.

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Leblanc, Maurice.

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Le Gallienne, Richard.

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Leverson, Ada.

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Macfall, Haldane.

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Scott, Sir Walter.

- Sir Walter Scott. Letters Written by Members of his

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Seccombe, Thomas.

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— The Last Persecution. 6s.

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Swan, Mark E.

- Top o' the World. With 6 illustrations in colour and

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TEMPLE OF FAME, THE. Illustrated. Crown 8vo.
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I. Great Musicians. By Ernest Oldmeadow.
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Turner, Edgar, and Reginald Hodder.

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Withers, Percy, M.B., B.S.

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Wright, W. P.

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- The Perfect Garden : How to Keep it Beautiful and

Fruitful, with Practical Hints on Economical Manage-
ment and the Culture of all the Principal Flowers,
Fruits and Vegetables. With six illustrations in
Colour and many in black and white. Large post
8vo. 6s. net. [Third Edition.

- Popular Garden Flowers. With six illustrations in

Colour and many in black and white. Large post
8vo. Cloth gilt. 6s. net.

Wyndham, Horace.

— Roses and Rue. 6s.

— The Flare of the Footlights. Cheap edition, is. net.

— Audrey the Actress. With frontispiece. 6C.

[ Out of print.
19

The Grant Richards Books

Xenophon. See tinder Richards, Herbert, M.A.

Young, Filson.

— Christopher Columbus and the New World of his Dis-

covery. Illustrated. With a Chapter by the Earl
of Dunraven. Two vols. Demy 8vo. Buckram gilt.
255. net. \_Out of print.

— Venus and Cupid : An Impression in Prose after

Velasquez in Colour. Edition limited to 339 copies
for sale in Great Britain ; printed on Arnold Hand-
made paper, with a Photogravure Reproduction of
the Rokeby Venus. Crown 410. I2S. 6d. net. Also
ii copies on Japanese vellum at £2 2s. net (of
which 3 remain).

— The Sands of Pleasure. With frontispiece in colour

by R. J. Pannett. 6s. Cheap edition, crown 8vo.
sewed, with cover design by R. J. Pannett, is. net.

[Seventy-fifth Thousand.

— When the Tide Turns. 6s. [Second Edition.

— The Wagner Stories. Large post 8vo. Persian yapp

or cloth gilt. 55. net. [Fourth Edition.

— Mastersingers. New Edition. Revised and Enlarged.

With portrait. Large post 8vo. Persian yapp or
c!oth gilt. 53. net.

— More Mastersingers. With frontispiece. Large post

8vo. Persian yapp or cloth gilt. 55. net.

— Memory Harbour : Essays chiefly in Description.

Imperial i6mo. Buckram gilt. 53. net.

— Ireland at the Cross Roads. New Edition. Crown 8vo.

Cloth gilt. 35. 6d. net.

— The Happy Motorist : An Introduction to the Use and

Enjoyment of the Motor Car. Crown 8vo. Cloth.
35. 6d. net.

— The Lover's Hours. Fcap. 410. 2s. 6d. net.

Young, Rev. William. See under Baxter, Richard.

INDEX OF PRICES

£11 55. net.

The Birds of the British Islands
( Five Vols. ) Half seal gilt.

£10 IDS. net.

The Birds of the British Islands
(Five Vols.). Half vellum gilt.

£9 net.

The Birds of the British Islands
(Five Vols.). Buckram gilt.

£7 IDS. net.

The Birds of the British Islands
(in Twenty Parts).

£2 2s. net.

Oxford, its Bnildingsand Gardens.
Venus and Cupid. Jap. Vellum.

£i us. 6d. net.
The Essays of Michael Lord of
Montaigne. (Three Vols. )

£i 53- net-
Christopher Columbus (Two Vols. )
Voyages of Captain William
Dampier (Two Vols. ).

£i 43. net.

Empires of the Far East. (Two
Vols.}

£i is. net.

Oxford, its Buildings and Gardens.
The Tragedy of Russia in Pacific
Asia. (Two Vols. )

i6s. net.

The Great Pacific Coast.
Pekin to Paris.

155. net.

Round the World in a Motor Car.
The Complete Wildfowler.
Queens of Old Spain.

i2s. 6d. net.

Mediterranean Moods.

Manet and the French Impres-
sionists.

The Third French Republic.

Balzac.

Venus and Cupid.

Ten Years of Motors and Motor
Racing.

IDS. 6d. net.

Evolution in Italian Art.

Shamrock Land.

Portugal.

The Romance of Steel.

73. 6d. net.

More Rutland Barrington.
The Corsican.
My Restless Life.
A Shrophire Lad (yapp).
Thomas Chatterton.
Hiawatha.

The Saints' Everlasting Rest.
Submarine Warfare.

75. net.

Aristophanes and Others.
Platonica.

6s. net.

The Menace of Socialism.
Egypt of Yesterday and To-day.
Health, Strength, and Happiness.
A Shropshire Lad (buckram).
Grimm's Fairy Tales.
Garden Week by Week.
The Book of Georgian Verse.
Finn the Wolfhound,
Man's Survival after Death.
Notes on Xenophon and Others.
The Perfect Garden.
Popular Garden Flowers.

6s.

Ingram.
Day.

Love, and Extras.
Phrynette and London.
The Fortune Hunter.
The Doctor's Lass.
Adventures of a Nice Young Man.
The Children of the Gutter.
Easy Money.
The Man from the Moon.
A Babe Unborn.
Get- Rich- Quick Wallingford.
Renee.

The Upper Hand.
The Boys' Book of Airships.
The Boys' Book of Railways.
The Boys' Book of Steamships.
The Boy's Book of Locomotives.
The Boys' Book of Warships.
The Crimson Conquest.
Arsene Lupin versus Holmlock
Shears.

Index of Prices

6s. (cont.)
The Grip of Fear.
The Limit.

The Living Strong Box.
Multitude and Solitude.
Antonio.

The Last Persecution.
The Passer-by.
The Bronze Bell.
The Cliff End.
The Heart Line.
The Dual Heritage.
The Individualist.
The Japanese Spy.
Love's Shadow.
Captain Margaret.
Aunt Maud.
Beatrix of Clare.
The Armada Gold.
The Black Bag.

When Kings go forth to Brittle.
Roses and Rue.
When the Tide Turns.
The Scoundrel.
The Unpardonable Sin.
The Genteel A. B.
The Brass Bowl.
The Sands of Pleasure.
Susan.

The Message.
The Twelfth Hour.
The Hill of Dreams.
The House of Souls.
The Blue Star.
The Miracle Worker.
The Private War.
The Broken Law.
The Earthquake.
Parson Brand.
The Same Clay.
The Pool of Flame.
The Black Motor Car.
A Tangled I.
In Pastures New.
The Butcher of Bruton Street.
A Comedy of Mammon.

55. net.

More Mastersingers.
The Last Episode of the French

Revolution.

The Theory of the Theatre.
Household Administration.
A Garland of Childhood.
^Esop's Fables.
The Riddle of Personality.
Cawein's New Poems.
Fleet Street and other Poems.

53. net (cont.)

Materials and Methods of Fiction.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
The Story of Sir Galahad.
Memory Harbour.
The Call of the Sea (persian yapp).
Bernard Shaw.
The Wagner Stories (leather and

cloth).

Mastersingers (leather and cloth).
The Pocket Book of Poems and

Songs for the Open Air (persian

yapp).

Traveller's Joy (persian yapp )
Mammon and his Message.
The Triumph of Mammon.
The Theatrocrat.
Hssays in Socialism.
Ibsen.
The Gourmet's Guide to Europe.

S3-

The Sunken Submarine.
The Chase of the Golden Meteor.

43. 6d. net.

D. Junii Juvenalis Saturoe.
M. Manilii Astronomicon I.

45. net.

The Book of Camping and Wood-
craft.

The Call of the Sea (cloth).

The Pocket Book of Poems and
Songs for the Open Air (cloth).

Traveller's Joy (cloth).

33. 6d. net.

Great Kleopatra.
Romance and Reality.
An Imperial Commonwealth.
Inspired Millionaires.
Fifty Years of Modern Painting.
Apollonius of Tyana.
The Validity of English Ordina-
tions.

Jack the Giant Killer, Junior.
Testament of John Davidson.
Favourite Fish and Fishing.
The Tragedy of Nan.
The Land of Never Was.
Top o' the World.
England's Story for Childn-n.
Great Musicians.
Great English Poets.
Great English Novelists.
Great English Painters.
Great Soldiers.
Her Brother's Letters.
Ireland at the Cross Roads.

22

Index of Prices

33. 6d. net (cont.)
Grant Allen's Historical Guides.
Holiday and Other Poems.
The Happy Motorist.
The Canker at the Heart.
Psyche and Soma.
A Night of Wonders.
The Bird in Song (leather).

35. Gd.

A Commentary.
The Woman Who Did.

35. net.

Burne- Jones (leather).
Rodin (leather).
G. F. Watts (leather).
Rossetti (leather).
Turner (leather).
Whistler (leather).
Religio Medici (leather).

2S. 6d. net.

The Nation and the Army.

The Agamemnon of /Eschylus.

Mister Sharptooth.

Consule Planco.

Poems by Miriam Smith.

Through Finland.

The Lover's Hours.

The Chapbooks (leather).

Through Portugal.

The Defenceless Islands.

Confessions of an Anarchist.

A Shropshire Lad (hand - made

paper).

The Future Prime Minister.
Chats about Wine.

25. 6d.
Letters from a Grandmother.

28. net.

Powder and Jam.

Omar Repentant.

Burne-Jones (cloth).

Rodin (cloth).

G. F. Watts (cloth).

Rossetti (cloth).

Turner (cloth).

Whistler (cloth).

The Bird in Song (cloth).

The Christmas Book (leather).

Religio Medici (cloth).

is. 6d. net.
Waistcoat Pocket Guides.
The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
(Persian yapp).

is. 6d. net (cont.)
Early Poems of D. G. Rossetti

(Persian yapp).

The Song of Songs (persian yapp).
Sister Benvenuta (persian yapp).
A Shropshire Lad (persian yapp).
English Nature Poems (persian

yapp).

In Memoriam (persian yapp).
Love Poems of Herrick (persian

yapp).
Everyman (persian yapp).

is. net.

The Unpardonable Sin.
Confessions of an Anarchist.
Susan (sewed).

Flare of the Footlights (sewed).
The Sands of Pleasure (sewed).
The Same Clay (sewed).
Business Success (cloth).
The Message (sewed).
Bernard Shaw (sewed).
The Rector and the Rubrics.
The Earthquake (sewed).
Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

(leather).
Early Poems of D. G. Rossetti

(leather).

The Song of Songs (leather).
Sister Benvenuta (leather).
A Shropshire Lad (leather).
English Nature Poems (leather).
In Memoriam (leather).
Love Poems of Herrick (leather).
Everyman (leather).
The Christmas Book (cloth).

6d. net.

Business Success (sewed).
Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

(cloth).

The Song of Songs (cloth).
The Early Poems of D. G. Rossetti

(cloth).

Sister Benvenuta (cloth).
A Shropshire Lad (cloth).
English Nature Poems (cloth).
In Memoriam (cloth).
Love Poems of Herrick (cloth).
Everyman (cloth).
The Venetian Series.
The Woman's Charter of Rights

and Liberties.

6d.

Essays in Socialism.

I^omlon: Stranaeuwi/n, Printcrt.

PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE
CARDS OR SLIPS FROM THIS POCKET

UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO LIBRARY

PN Harrington, Rutland

2598 More Rutland Barrington, bv

B43A3 himself

1911