,c?v a
LIBRARY I
ME, GHIM'S DEEAM.
NEW YORK:
Copyright, 1878, by
G. W. Carleton & Co., Publishers.
LONDON I 8. LOW to CO.
MDCCCLXXVin.
TROW*S
PRINTING AND BOOKBINDING Co*
INTRODUCTION.
VIGOROUS youth, born replete with
energy, courage, and will, grew up
into sturdy manhood. Powerful in
his physical strength, broad and far-reaching
in his views, fervid and lofty in the purposes
of his life, keen in his mental acumen, in-
genious to the ablest degree, he gathered wealth
and power without effort, and steadily gained
each higher step of his ambition, tireless and
strong. Suddenly there fell a thunderbolt
upon him. It thrilled his frame with a
bewildering jar, then passed forever as
quickly as it came, leaving him scathless,
whole, uninjured, but with livid face and
congested heart, appalled, stricken in the
yi INTRODUCTION.
imagination with a profound sense of terror
and despair and gloom, which years failed to
remove.
Likewise a nation arose: possessing a
sound constitution to begin with, enterprising
in the vigor of its youth, developing grandly
to maturity, inspired by its own matchless op-
portunity for expansion to singular greatness
and usefulness- all its aspirations instantly
quenched, its abounding energy thunderstruck
and gone, years failing to restore it.
Historians yet to be born will point the
finger of commiseration back to this unfor-
tunate point, and exclaim : "Ah / if that
people at that time had seen themselves as
a whole / had realized their united strength /
and used it! But they sank into idleness! lost,
lost, lost all those years, rather than gain,
accumulate, prosper!"
MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
CHAPTER I.
T was in the autumn of 1877.
I had a dream. It must have been
a dream. I thought I was living in
a land of plenty, yet saw destitution around
me in many homes. I was in a country
blessed by nature above all other countries
on the globe, yet thousands of persons were
suffering for want of the necessaries of life.
It seemed incredible. I looked more closely,
to see if I was really among an enlightened
people, or in a half-civilized region. I found
I was not in famine-stricken India, but in this
bright land of America, with a people sup-
8 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
posed to be enjoying the benefit of civilization
and modern improvements ; a country teem-
ing with products, and furnishing the gold and
silver of the world. Yet many persons were
sorely in want. I thought of the universal
prosperity that once existed here, though of
course I was still dreaming. In this portion
of my dream I imagined that only a few years
ago this nation was enterprising ; no nation
extant had built so much labor-saving ma-
chinery. And now this vast enginery was in
motion, and numberless human hands were
idle. More work was the great want. Not
less machinery, but more work. Work for this
machinery and for these thousands of men
supplanted by machinery. A gigantic enter-
prise was in order. No slight enlargement of
the existing industries, but a colossal undertak-
ing an enterprise absorbing the labor of hun-
dreds of thousands of men now yearning for
work,
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 9
My mind was soon fixed upon a certain
wonderful plan of my own for the removal of
the whole great trouble. It was all a dream,
but such an extraordinary dream I must relate
it, though it may fill an entire volume.
I dreamed that away back in my youth I had
conceived the building of a huge structure
which the world needed, and all along through
the years I had carefully considered the enter-
prise, until now the opportune period had come
for its grand fulfillment. It was too great a
project to be undertaken in times when labor
and capital were busily employed, before the
era of mighty and multitudinous labor-saving
inventions ; but every condition now was
as favorable as possibly could be to the carry-
ing out of this tremendous plan of mine.
It was a vast engineering work, so differ-
ent from any ever attempted or thought
of by mortal man, that civil engineers would
stand aghast at the mere proposal of it.
io MR. GHIMS DREAM.
And the building of the colossal structure
I planned would employ the labor of
so many thousands and thousands of men,
and would present to the view of the world
so gigantic an embodiment of usefulness
when completed, that a contemplation of
the achievement was among the sublimi-
ties. And the reflection that this great
enterprise must, by employing so much of
the surplus labor, not only be a benefit to
those employed, but restore the industrial
balance which is now disturbed, thus re-
viving business and checking the annual
waste of millions through the non-per-
formance of work which might be per-
formed this reflection swept through me
like an inspiration !
It was not an upstart scheme. I had
been deliberating the subject so many years
in silence, calmly awaiting the proper time
for carrying out the project, there was
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. n
nothing sudden in the enterprise itself. It
was a fully matured plan, strengthened by
contemplation and reasoning and observa-
tion regarding this one especial purpose, un-
til it had grown into a settled design. And
now it was to be accomplished! I saw
the lofty ambition of my life realized !
Wildly, intensely, ecstatically I dreamed !
Though I deplored the suffering which
came from the great lack of employment,
yet I saw that this dark state of things
was the very condition essential to prepare
the way for my great undertaking. It
seemed providential. The more extensive
and painful the distress, the more readily I
should be able to remove the whole fell
difficulty at one stroke, by furnishing count-
less numbers of workmen employment and
wages in building the mighty structure I
saw in my mind's eye. And thus it would
serve a doubly useful purpose.
12 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
f
Building the immense structure would
furnish so much employment, workingmen
would favor the enterprise unanimously.
And as it would furnish employment to a
vast amount of capital, also now idle, mon-
eyed men would only need to be convinced
of its practicability, and capital would flow
to it in abundance. Therefore, to engage
the interest of moneyed men in favor
of the enterprise was the first proceed-
ing and the only one necessary to in-
sure its accomplishment. A great deal
depends, thought I in my dream, upon the
manner in which capital is sought to be
enlisted in its favor. Many worthy schemes
have failed for lack of skillful management.
The right method will win, and the wrong
method will not win, the confidence it de-
serves. I will personally take my plan to
some of the leading capitalists. (Oh, I
wish I had a hundred million dollars my-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 13
self !) I will go in person to the most
affluent, one by one, and I will convince
them all, beyond a fraction of a doubt,
that this stupendous project of mine is
destined to be accomplished, and that it
will prove the most useful measure of ad-
vance made in this century. I do not
possess the command of stately language
or fine rhetoric, but I can express myself
clearly and practically. I do not expect
or wish to convince immediately any one.
I would not waste my time detailing a pro-
ject to a man who would instantly agree
with me upon an undertaking entirely new
and so gigantic. He would as quickly
change again to the opposite opinion. The
deliberate, careful, gradual acceptance of my
view, and then an enthusiastic maintenance
of it, is the sterling kind of support I so-
licit. I have been long years developing
my own fervid conclusions regarding the
U MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
matter, and cannot reasonably hope for a
sudden brilliant conversion of the world
upon it. If I go to a millionaire, and
he patiently hears me a couple of hours,
and then deliberately calls me an idiot, I
shall put that millionaire's name on my list
as one who will come out a staunch sup-
porter of my enterprise in due time. And
if the next millionaire to whom I unfold
my plan accepts it eagerly without thought,
I shall consider his name as that of a man
not worth while putting on my list ; for,
when the time comes to issue the stock,
such a quickly-changing man will more
likely be penniless than rich. I do not
want impulsive, fickle men for the sup-
port of this huge work. All would tum-
ble, all would sink. I want solid, strong
men ; men of weight ; men of breadth ;
men of slow, sound judgment ; men who
can deliberately take in a great idea, and
MR. GfffM'S DREAM. 15
calmly consider it on its own merits ; men
of comprehensive grasp in their perceptions
of the future ; men who steadily, through
all panics, believe in progress ; men who
are able to discern a great opportunity, and
fill it with a great enterprise : these are
the men of whom I seek audience.
In my own city of Boston there were
such millionaires, and a number elsewhere.
Among the latter were two in the Empire
State, whom I wished to consult first of all.
These were William H. Vanderbilt and Jay
Gould. I visited Vanderbilt first. I man-
aged to obtain one whole evening with him,
and, after a two hours' presentation of my
grand plan, I found him as thoroughly con-
servative and cautious as I had desired ; as
skeptical regarding the feasibility of my
transcendent undertaking as I had antici-
pated. All was well. Had he ardently coin-
cided with me in my huge notion in so short
16 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
a time, never having thought of the great
subject before, I should have passed away
from his presence utterly dejected, feeling
that the stoutest support I had hoped to
win was, after all, but a mere weak, supple,
fickle, poor prop. I should have vanished
from his sight forevermore. But his cool
unbelief in my project at the outset, his
sturdy remark that he couldn't think of it,
encouraged me in my opinion that he would
think of it, that he was just the man to
think of it, and the one man whose think-
ing of it would lead to the surest material
results.
Vanderbilt was the mortal on whom
my highest hopes rested and' centered.
Around him a throng of moneyed men were
to gather and unite in the vast enterprise
I had planned for the good of the world !
The towering wealth of Vanderbilt was to
rise to the apex of the glittering pile de-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 17
voted to the high purpose of rousing Pro-
gress from its four years' stupid slumber,
and putting together a structure so massive,
so useful, so thoroughly unique, that its
construction would be one signal step for-
ward in the march of mankind.
I had met with the highest degree of
success I deemed possible in that brief
space, and was feeling in a perfectly satis-
factory frame of mind at the end of my
first visit to the man who was destined to
become the most powerful supporter of my
plan.
Whatever his thoughts were at the time,
however compassionate the smile upon his
face as I left him, my faith in his ultimate
acquiescence was complete. Before making
a second visit, I allowed him a week to think
of my plan, or not think of it, as he pleased,
knowing that he must think of it, that the
subject was too momentous for any person
1 8 MR. GHIATS DREAM.
who had once considered it a moment ever
to forget it. The project at any time would
be stunning; and at this particular time,
when the welfare of millions of working-
men directly, and all other persons indi-
rectly, depended upon whether sufficient em-
ployment was to be furnished or not, a use-
ful enterprise involving the labor of so con-
siderable a number was too important to
be dropped as unworthy of consideration.
Every man would think of it. The world
over, it would be the unfailing topic of con-
versation. And if I were to publish a little
brochure upon it, a compendious statement
of the subject in all its bearings, hundreds
of thousands of copies would be sold ! For
it was the most important subject before
the people.
Giving Mr. Vanderbilt a few days to
think of it (in the intervals between the
busy hours of railroad management press-
MR. GHIATS DREAM. 19
ing upon him), I decided to lay my plan
open to the keen intellect of Jay Gould
in the meantime. But when I went to see
him he was out of town.
I deferred attacking Jay Gould with my
stunning scheme until I could catch him
at home.
I next called on Robert B. Roosevelt.
I knew that Roosevelt would become an
earnest advocate of my project. Roosevelt
is a man of progress, in spite of his strange
affiliations with the pull-back statesmen.
His views on the labor question had always
agreed with mine, and, though I had never
yet mentioned to him my prodigious scheme,
yet I was sure that after I had stunned
him with it, and after he had considered
it well, he would come out strongly in its
favor, as every sensible man of progress
would. Roosevelt especially, as Roosevelt
is a singularly far-seeing, practical, level-
20 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
headed man, as well as a wide-awake, go-
ahead, nineteenth-century man. Some other
members of Congress I knew were equally in
harmony with the constructive spirit of the
age, and I was confident of their patriotic
support of my great enterprise if Govern-
ment should be solicited to favor it.
My interview with Roosevelt happens to
be one of the haziest portions of my dream,
but my next experience rolls before me
clearly.
The sudden acquaintance I formed with
George Law is so vivid in my remem-
brance that I shall not forget it for two
hundred years. I happened to be walking
by this great millionaire's house on Fifth
Avenue, when the veritable Live Oak George
himself happened to be entering. He was
one of the millionaires whom I had intended
to visit last and least, I felt so exceedingly
dubious about ever trying to move such an
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 21
invincible nature as I had understood his
to be ; but some kind angel directed my
steps to this particular spot at this auspi-
cious moment, and impressed me that this
was the very nick of time to tackle the
six-foot possessor of six million dollars, and
assured me that he should be one of the
first to be won to my cause.
Confidently turning toward this great mil-
lionaire, I followed him up the steps, and
accosted him just before he passed his
threshold.
" I have called to see Mr. Law. Perhaps
he is not at home."
" No, he's not. He'll be in in a moment,
though," said he, stepping in. Evidently a
mirthful mood was on him.
" Now he is in, isn't he ?" I queried.
"Yes. Who ain't you?"
"The Czar of all Rhode Island. Can I
see Live Oak George about two hours?"
22 MR. GtffM'S DREAM.
Had I said only about two minutes, I
should have made a diplomatic fiasco. But
two hours ! Two hours of his precious time !
The greatness of the request prevailed over
his stern opposition. The strangeness of my
suggestion rendered him more eccentric. He
drew me in like a prodigal son.
" Two hours !" he ejaculated, sinking upon
a sofa, and pointing out a great arm-chair
to me.
" Are you a lightning-rod fiend ?" quoth
he, suddenly rising.
I quieted him down.
" Or a book-peddling nuisance ?" roared
he, jumping up again.
I calmed the lion down once more.
"Well, how much money did you s'pose
you were going to borrow ?"
" I have a grander purpose in coming
here Mr. Law !"
" Incredible ! I take it you are a tramp
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 23
of some kind, high or low. Well, what is
your grand purpose ?"
For two hours I poured into this great
man's ears the details of a plan so mighty
in its scope that he was almost bewildered.
Flinging himself upon the sofa, apparently
overwhelmed by the pressure of something
greater than he could bear, gazing up at the
ceiling or glaring down at the floor in utter
amazement, sometimes rousing himself and
pacing the room for awhile, stopping now
and then to fix his astonished eyes on me,
silently hearing every word I spoke, and
evidently willing to ponder deeply every
idea I broached, though sometimes shaking
his head in all directions, and holding it
now and then between his hands and press-
ing it hard, and then approaching me and
feeling of me, to see if I were really a
human being standing there and talking to
him, or only a wild phantom of his brain ;
24 MR, GHIM'S DREAM.
dropping again upon the sofa confounded,
yet wide awake and intently alert thus the
two hours passed, bringing to me the sat-
isfactory conclusion that he had listened to
every word I said, that we had not once
been disturbed by any one coming in, that
I had transmitted into George Law's deep
and level understanding, in regular order,
the entire series of thoughts I had wished
to plant there at my first interview, and
now those ideas were sure of subsequent
reflection.
To depart immediately was the next step
in my programme. To leave him to calm
meditation, in silence and alone, while my
grand project was glowing in his recollec-
tion.
" I will call again in a week," I quickly
remarked, and was making an abrupt exit
He detained me.
" Call again now," he demanded. " Sit down.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM, 25
Young man, you are perfectly astounding
with that insane project of yours. Yet the
plan looks reasonable. Of course it ain't
reasonable ; of course it's only a madman's
freak ; but I couldn't help listening, and
you almost exploded me with that stupen-
dous scheme. My head feels as big as an
empty flour barrel. Couldn't you have told
me half at a time ? Oh ! it is too much !
too much ! Ah ! I am going to die !"
" So am I, some time. But it is no use
whatever to die now, Mr. Law. Wait till
you have helped to carry out this gigantic
work, and seen it in successful operation."
" If I live till then I'll be as old as
Methuselah is," he pleasantly remarked.
I anticipated seeing Live Oak George in
due time as staunch a supporter of my huge
enterprise as Vanderbilt himself.
I left him for a week and interviewed
other millionaires,
a6 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
I have not yet told the reader what my
great project was. I cannot inject it here,
in a paragraph or two. It requires con-
siderable space and time. I stipulated for
two hours' time on presenting the subject
to Mr. Law and Mr. Vanderbilt. The
time which I expect of the reader for a
similar purpose will begin when we reach
another chapter. Meanwhile I wish to de-
scribe briefly my experience with other mill-
ionaires whom I converted to my scheme.
Soon after Jay Gould returned to town I
took myself into his presence, timing my
call auspiciously, securing the desired two
hours' interview.
The ponderous George Law was the mill-
ionaire I had last encountered ; here was a
different kind of a bear to meet. Jay
Gould is as little as George Law is big, and
as far the opposite as can be in the impres-
sion he makes upon you. The greater does
MR. GfffM'S DREAM. 27
not invite your approach, but when once
within the radiation of his great heart you
feel yourself perfectly at home, and you
have a strong liking for the old gentleman.
Jay Gould attracts, you in quite another
way ; his diminutive body is topped with a
mighty intellect, the glance of which from
his keen eyes fascinates and lures you to-
ward him, and holds you at a certain dis-
tance from him. If you would approach
nearer, you must gain access to his nature
by addressing yourself to his head, and not
to his heart Waste no sentiment here,
but if you have any superb money-making
enterprise in view, fortified by sound reason-
ing and logical deductions, he will listen
willingly. He discerns the foundation of
things, and sees clearly if matters there
are solid and substantial. It is a broad
measure of pure mentality which controls
him, with no animality involved in it to
28 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
restrain it, or be restrained by it. If you
have any scheme for his consideration, he
knows by intuition whether it is worthy
or unworthy. Whether it is feasible or not
he will determine afterward, but with greater
promptness than any other man. Of all
the millionaires I interviewed, he was the eas-
iest man to talk to, the quickest thinker, the
readiest to grasp the far-reaching possibilities
suggested by the great scheme with which
I plied him. Regarding its feasibility, he
was as cautious as man can be. But I
wished him to be wary in that regard un-
til he had deliberately thought over the
subject at divers times and under various
circumstances, that he might the more
slowly and surely develop a strong, tena-
cious, unflinching adhesion to the enterprise.
He did not express an opinion for or
against it during my first interview, and I
was careful not to disturb the delicate poise
MR. GHIATS DREAM. . 29
by questioning him. I went my way, giv-
ing him a week to revolve the scheme in
his busy brain.
Returning to my first millionaire at the
expiration of a week from the time of my
former call, I found Mr. Vanderbilt smiling
and genial, as glad to see me as if I had
been a two-tailed monkey or any other cu-
riosity, and a very little more inclined to
consider my monstrous scheme than he
was before.
" Your plan seems to me impracticable,"
said Vanderbilt, "but even if it were a
feasible undertaking, I am not the man who
should enter largely into it. My money is
all in railroads. Idle capital is what you
want to secure. Enlist that all in your
enterprise, and then you can begin to try
to go ahead. How could I do anything ?"
"Sell out."
He was astounded. But I meant exactly
what I said, and I repeated it.
30 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
" Sell out. Have done with railroads !
Embark your immense fortune in this huge
enterprise looming up. Take hold of it
now in its incipiency ; profit accordingly.
Don't wait till the embryo has grown, and
others control it. Manage it yourself. You
have the first chance, the best chance if you
avail yourself of the present opportunity.
Sell out; let idle capital buy your rail-
roads; throw your vast fortune into this
new industrial enterprise. You will thus
rise to a higher, broader business. And in
it you will be honored as the pioneer of
a new era. You can make it immensely
profitable, too. You will be president of
the company, the largest stockholder, the
controller of affairs. Drop railroads, and
take up "
At this point we were interrupted by a
useless annoyance in the shape of a caller,
who, I vehemently remarked to myself,
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 31
called upon an errand not one thousandth
part as important as mine, whatever his was.
When he was gone we resumed.
" Mr. Vanderbilt," said I, " this depression
in business and industry, with the great suf-
fering caused by it, seems to me entirely
needless. With all the deference I can feel
toward the prevalent opinion that this is a
necessary state of things, a healthy reaction
from extravagance, coming down to hard-
pan, knowing where we are, and so forth
I cannot but look at the matter in a very
different light. People in general do not
view the situation as it really is. They
think it complicated and beyond their capac-
ity to understand, whereas it is perfectly
simple and easy to understand by any one
who can think. This is the practical way
I view the matter: A few years ago we
had real prosperity ; not fictitious, as many
claim, but real prosperity. We can regain
32 MR. GHIATS DREAM.
it at once if we begin at once the right
course. If these multitudes of mechanics
and others now idle had employment in
their respective mechanical and other occu-
pations, their work would add many mill-
ion dollars' worth yearly to the solid wealth
of the world, and that would be prosperity
again. The work they might do is not
done, the wealth they would add to the
world is not added ; the absolutely neces-
sary work is all that is now being done ;
no progress is being made ; a stoppage has
come; this depression is not a healthy state
of things. The decrease in business, and tke
decrease in accumulation of wealth, bring
hard times to the wealthy, and harder times
to the poor. Yet the means for doing work,
the means for accumulating wealth, are
more numerous than ever before. We have
stopped using the means. Is this a healthy
state of things ? It is evident to me that
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 33
industries must enlarge and multiply. The
world is progressing. To check it is dan-
gerous, and just that danger exists. Again
we must advance, and speedily. Retrograd-
ing does not improve our condition.
" We have been retrograding four years.
Look at the result. It is wholly unprofit-
able. Retrograding is the wrong course.
Were it the right course, we should see
prosperity, accumulation, contentment, in-
stead of what we do see. The fact that
affairs have been steadily growing worse in-
dicates that the people have been steadily
going wrong, steadily trying to carry out a
mistaken idea. Attributing the hard times
to the kind of money in use, and to every-
thing but the real cause, the fundamental
principle of the whole matter is ignored.
Labor-saving inventions have created a new
era ! We must act accordingly. Machinery
has wrought a revolution in the results of
34 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
industry. We must adapt ourselves to the
age of machinery, and make use of our
immense facilities. Huge industrial enter-
prises must be engaged in. Useful or use-
less in themselves, they will start business,
and thus awaken all industries to their nor-
mal activity. The war kept us busy awhile ;
rebuilding burnt cities kept us busy awhile.
Meantime, labor-saving inventions were mul-
tiplying as never before. And now, with
immense mechanical power, and so little
for it to do, activity has subsided, business
has fallen flat. Work is needed ! a vast
amount of work ! Start a great enterprise
requiring the labor of a vast number of
men, and Progress will resume its function
of leading mankind onward to grander en-
terprises still. The past has been a career
of glorious progress, and shall not the fu-
ture be also ? My project may seem to
you now chimerical, ridiculous, impossible
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 35
to carry out But every new step in ad-
vance has been an amazing, stunning step.
Every project has been incredible until ac-
complished. And now shall the world stop?
Stagnation is death. We must go on, enter
upon new incredible works, each one
greater than the last What shall be the
next one ? There will be one ; what shall
it be ? Here are a myriad of unemployed
workmen aching to work, to construct some-
thing, anything useful, some new embodi-
ment of the world's progress, whatever it
may be, however large or costly. The
labor will be labor well bestowed, and the
capital invested will do the noblest service
capital ever performed."
" You want to raise a hundred millions ?
It is a large sum."
" The Suez Canal cost over eighty mill-
ions."
" How much ?"
36 MR. GJTSM'S DREAM.
" The exact cost was $80,893)665. My
project calls for a sum not very much
larger, and its usefulness will be immeasura-
bly greater!"
Our talk was protracted, and repeated
with variations, at hebdomadal intervals, un-
til in a few weeks I had the satisfaction of
seeing Vanderbilt thoroughly convinced in
favor of the gigantic enterprise I had
planned. He sold over fifty million dol-
lars' worth of his railroad stock, gradually,
privately, and realized its full value. Then
he earnestly entered upon the work of
chartering the new company for the new
business, with a hundred million dollars of
capital as a basis, of which he furnished
more than half, and thus gained a control-
ling interest.
In the meantime I had been drumming
up custom from other millionaires, persuad-
ing them to go into the enterprise with
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 37
their mites, some five millions, some four,
some two, some only one little million. I
pursued the same general method in con-
vincing each, varying the details of my
operations according to the whimsical char-
acteristics of the different men, but success-
ful with every one. I visited August Bel-
mont, the Lorillards, Fred. Stevens, Moses
Taylor, Marshall O. Roberts, James Lennox,
Mr. Kernochan, Mr. Rhinelander, and all
the leading millionaires of New York who
were at home.
Alexander T. Stewart was dead, but Alex-
ander Stuart was living and worth five mill-
ion dollars. I called upon the great sugar
refiner at his time-honored place of abode
in the lower part of New York, and found
him a pleasant old bachelor, willing to lis-
ten to my project, and after several inter-
views a believer in it, though strongly op-
posed to new-fangled notions in general.
38 MR. CHIMES DREAM.
Whatever was really and indisputably use-
ful he believed in, and for that reason he
could not but admit that my plan was
deserving of success. He gave it solid
support in the form of four millions he
subscribed to the stock, and put a provis-
ion in his will whereby in case of his death
that money could not be withdrawn from
that purpose. Having no family of his own,
he willed that amount to me. I being
thoroughly committed to the great enter-
prise, of course I would put the four mill-
ions into it, while any one else might or
might not. The legacy in prospect was
such an entirely unexpected honor to me,
that when I was first informed of it I was
too deeply moved to say a word, and could
only silently think how gratefully I should
revere his memory as long as he lived,
and how filially I should write and publish
his biography after he was dead.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 39
I had some difficulty in convincing this
gentleman in the first place that many
mechanics are out of employment and in
poverty through no fault of their own.
Self-made millionaires are so apt to suppose
that any man could have been equally suc-
cessful. Successful men are so unwilling to
believe that there are men of less capacity.
It was the capacity of this man, together
with the Scotch-Irish force which runs in
his veins, that enabled him to be so emi-
nently successful.
Many have wondered why a man of such
immense property has never married. He
told me the reason one day, in strict con-
dence, and so I will repeat it. The great
sugar refiner said his whole life had been
among sweet things ; and even when he was
a boy, peddling sugar -candy, he became so
satiated with sweet things he could never
afterward love anything sweet.
40 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
The other great sugar refiner, his brother,
Robert L. Stuart, a few years older than
my great benefactor, I found dwelling in a
magnificent residence on Fifth Avenue,
beguiling the leisure of his threescore
years and ten in sumptuous style. He,
too, has acquired between five and six mill-
ions ; and he, too, after several pleasant in-
terviews, entered solidly into my great en-
terprise, putting down his name for four
millions.
I was sure of Peter Cooper. A progressive
man of infinite versatility ; the designer and
builder of the first locomotive constructed
in America; successful in every business un-
dertaking of his life so far (though he is only
eighty-six) ; a man who has made money
as grocer, coachmaker, cabinetmaker, and in
various greater capacities ; the originator of
the anthracite puddling process; the builder
of immense ironworks ; the owner of a
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 41
glue factory ; the president of a great
mining company ; an enterprising philan-
thropist, always thinking of the poor, and
spending freely to promote the welfare of
the industrial classes I knew that the
founder of Cooper Institute would not re-
quire urging to support a useful enterprise
that would give employment to a vast
number in pressing need of it. Even
from him I did not look for an imme-
diate indorsement of my stunning scheme.
I expected the genial old gentleman's blue
eyes would stare in astonishment at me,
and so they did. I anticipated that his
kindly and benevolent visage would work
itself up into something like a sneer to
begin with, and so it did. I guessed he
would double his tall form with mirth at
my incredible project, and shake the whiten-
ing locks of thin brown hair which hang
to his shoulders, and bend his fragile neck
42 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
again and again to gaze down at me over
his noble Roman nose, in perfect astonish-
ment at the gigantic enterprise I origi-
nated, and so he did. The great originator
of enterprises himself was more completely
taken aback by the magnitude of mine
than some of the other millionaires I con-
fronted with it ; but I knew he only needed
time to think it over, and Peter Cooper
would come out one of my most enthu-
siastic advocates. In due time he threw
his whole soul into the worthy enterprise,
and threw in several million dollars besides.
" My dear Ghim ," said he, " if it wasn't
for my glue factory, now, I would put in
a million more ; but I must stick to my
glue."
Joshua Montgomery Sears, of Boston,
the ardent young millionaire, with the fer-
vor of twenty-two bright summers and
love's young dream besides thrilling through
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 43
him, was about to take his lovely bride on
a trip to Europe. At present he was
travelling in this country. The day before
his departure from these shores I had a
long and uninterrupted interview, and directed
the surplus force of his youthful ardor to
the contemplation of the vast enterprise I
had in mind. It was a fitting season,
for during his voyage he contemplated the
project unceasingly ; and he mailed me an
earnest letter the day he arrived out, declar-
ing he would put every dollar of his sev-
eral millions into my thoroughly useful un-
dertaking.
William Emerson Baker, the eccentric sew-
ing-machine millionaire, of Ridge Hill fame,
required but three efforts on my part to con-
vince him of the wisdom of putting four mill-
ions into my magnificent enterprise. On the
day of my first visit to this merry genius at
his vast estate in Wellesley, Mass., he was
44 MR. GHIWS DREAM.
seriously contemplating through his eye-glass
the intention of putting another million into
a new piggery, the recently-built luxurious
edifice having become carelessly soiled by
the tenants. They had rooted up the Brus-
sels, tarnished the satin-covered sofas they
had sat in, tipped over the rosewood chairs
in itching to scratch their backs, made
havoc with the downy feather beds and
lace curtains, reared up and swept off all
the articles of vertu from the malachite
mantelpieces, walk>wed like sixty in the fire
in the fire-places, thus blackening even the
snowy white cornices and the orrtate fres-
coes, and in every way injuring the mar-
ket value of their palatial mansion. The
owner of these unruly slaves was cogitat-
ing and deciding whether to build them a
new habitation, or exchange them for edu-
cated hogs. I persuaded him to cut them
up into little square pieces and put them
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 45
into bean-pots in his Institute of Cookery,
and invest all his extra millions of dollars
in the grand project my own unique genius
had originated. The pigs when defunct com-
prised a larger pile of comestibles than could
be devoured at his enormous grange at
Wellesley and his Chester Square residence
in Boston put together ; so he issued in-
vitations to a splendid funeral, and had all
the Governors of all the States, and all the
people of the Southern States who hap-
pened to be north of Mason and Dixon's
line, gathered at Ridge Hill Farm to par-
take of pork and beans. A great deal was
left over, sent into Boston, and given away.
Boston will have pork and beans for years
to come.
I called upon all the principal million-
aires in Boston and vicinity, one by one,
and secured them all in favor of my stu-
pendous undertaking.
46 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
Charles Francis Adams, dwelling a few
miles out, on his ancient estate in Quincy,
Mass., put three millions into my great pro-
ject. This rich man's sons all became advo-
cates of the enterprise, aiding it by the rich-
ness of their wit, their energy, and their
numbers.
A remarkable coincidence occurred one
day. I was at home, and my thoughts were
running upon the destitution and misery of
thousands of persons in my family (the
great human family), especially the poor
circumstances of various persons whom I
happened to know personally. I was think-
ing of the suffering I had seen them ex-
perience from day to day, and how painful
it was to me to look at my own poverty
and find that I had not the means to re-
lieve them, and hardly knew how I was
going to get bread myself. Many a time
I had thus meditated sadly on the wretch-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 47
edness I knew existed around me, seeing
it myself and partaking of it myself, and
knowing that one thing would remove it,
just one thing would put happiness in many
spots where now unhappiness lingers, and
that one thing was money. I was ponder-
ing on my urgent need of money when
lo, there came to my poverty-stricken home
the greatest blessing in disguise that ever
fell to my lot. It was a pair of twins !
Here I was, sunk in the very depth of
pecuniary want, having been unfortunate in
business, and having used up all the few
little dollars I had remaining for the pur-
pose of making that highly important jour-
ney among the millionaires in New York
and elsewhere, and now I had come home
with the exultation of knowing that I had
been successful and my colossal enterprise
was under way, but at the same time with
the dire feeling that I knew not where-
48 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
withal I could purchase bread which comes
so handy when hungry, and pay the little
rent of the little room which is so much
more convenient to occupy than living out-
doors. By and by, when I had carried out
my grand plan, everything would be lovely
for everybody, but the interim looked dubi-
ously empty for me. At this awful juncture
of affairs I was blessed with that sudden
pair of twins ! They came so unexpectedly,
my joy was such that I can scarcely de-
scribe it. But I shall never forget it. I
think no man ever received a pair of twins
with more astonishment or with feelings
more intense and deep than were mine in
that exceedingly depressed state of my
finances. Yet I welcomed the twins with a
fondness as real and as passionate as ever
mortal experienced ; and I solemnly declared
that they were Heaven-sent gifts. I am not
a married man ; that pair of twins came
MR. GHIM'S DREAM: 49
to me by mail ; they were sent by Peter
Cooper and George Law, and consisted
of two twelve-thousand-dollar checks! That
was a pair of twins worth having ; they
were useful to a poor man ; they were worth
caressing. The coincidence I noticed was
that they came together, and were just the
same size. Both of them were the same
size. The wonder was, not that the great
philanthropist, Peter Cooper, divined my
needs, and sent me a few thousand dollars,
for there was nothing remarkable or unnat-
ural in that; nor that the great heart of
George Law moved him likewise, for there
was nothing wrong in that, and nothing sur-
prising; but that both happened to do the
same thing at the same time this was the
wonderful coincidence. They never made a
wiser investment. That money did an im-
mense amount of good. It enabled me to
continue with greater advantage my indefa."
50 MR. GfffM'S DREAM.
tigable efforts in behalf of the huge pro-
ject I had set on foot, as it supplied me with
the means of going and coming wherever
I desired, without the oppressive draw-
back of impecuniousness. Furthermore, it
enabled me to begin to eat three square
meals a day. Better than all, it was instru-
mental in brightening sad faces my heart
had ached in beholding day after day ; in
removing some who had been tied by stress
of circumstances to unhealthful occupations,
and were dying down ; in relieving necessi-
ties I had been forced to witness, power-
less to relieve till now, wtfere want was so
extreme that tears of sadness were changed
to tears of gratitude by a five-dollar bill.
It often started my own tears when I looked
upon the change wrought the happy homes
that had been dreary, the cheerful faces that
had been woe-begone, the hopeful hearts
that were recently in despair. And the
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 51
credit of it all was due to Peter Cooper
and George Law. If they had not manu-
factured and sent me that pair of twins
But I must return to the main subject,
the magnificent plan I had conceived for
the advancement of mankind one single
step. I fancied that when that important
step I suggested had been taken, and as a
result of my labors to that end I had some-
how become a millionaire myself, twelve-
thousand-dollar checks would seem paltry,
and I should be giving instead of receiv-
ing these little munificences.
A session of Congress was approaching,
and I went to Washington, not to lobby
any claim through, for I had secured else-
where all the influence my project needed ;
I had no favors to ask of Congress ; I
went there for my own diversion, as a re-
laxation from the earnest endeavors I had
been making among millionaires ; and at
5* MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
the same time to edify upon that particular
topic of mine any of the great ones of
the earth whom chance might throw in my
way at Washington.
Meeting President Hayes one day in La-
fayette Square, I expounded to him the
great subject which filled my mind ; and
calling upon him a few times afterward
at his house when he did not happen to
be travelling in a little while I numbered
him among the earnest believers in my
scheme. President Tilden was travelling in
Europe, but during his absence President
Hayes was assiduously performing the du-
ties of Chief Magistrate of this country,
being constantly in every part of it. Not
waiting for President Tilden's return, I sent
him a cable dispatch containing an inkling
of my colossal scheme. It brought him
home by the next steamer. I soon won
his confidence in favor of my gigantic en-
terprise. He put a barrel of money into it.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 53
Looking down from the Senate gallery
one day upon the famous hyacinthine lock
which tumbles gracefully adown the brow
of New York's intellectual giant, I be-
thought me of going down into the lobby,
sending in my card, and calling him out
for an interview. But the wild animals
down in the pit before me were suddenly
stirred into animation by the intense inter-
est of some utterance made among them,
and the Utica lion was glaring so fiercely
at the Georgia lion, the occasion was inop-
portune ; I waited till the following day.
All was quiet then. Gordon was not rous-
ing them ; Edmunds was not stinging
them ; Patterson was not grilling them ;
Morrill was lulling them. There was Sen-
ator Conkling, cleaning his finger-nails, as
usual. I was close to the Diplomatic
gallery, just above him. I glanced across
the Chamber before going down into the
54 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
lobby. Over in the Reporters' gallery
were various journalists. Leaning over
the middle was one who always attracts
attention, and always ought to. He is the
ablest thinker and writer that walks into
the Senate Chamber, above or below. His
practical insight, of matters in general and
matters in particular, surpasses that of a
dozen Senators combined. His power of
penetration is marvellous. He is a keen
ferret, a detective whom you need not
hope to escape if you are a government
official and any tendency to fraud lurks
within you. He is peculiarly witty withal
when the mood is on him. He is the
journalist who looks at you so seriously
and writes about you so facetiously. Meet-
ing him one day as he came out of
Welcker's, I took him up to Wormley's,
and while we were gorging ourselves, I
filled his ears with the narration of my stu-
MR. QHIM'S DREAM. 55
pendous plan, repeating the dose at inter-
tervals subsequently, until Donn Piatt was
convinced. He threw the whole force of
his " gigantic intellect," as he jestingly calls
it (speaking a true word in jest), into
a leading editorial in his paper, committing
The Capital in favor of my magnificent
and undeniably useful project.
But on this day the powerful gladiator
from the Empire State was my prey. The
doorkeeper took in my card, and Senator
Conkling did me the honor to appear.
We stepped into the Vice-President's pala-
tial room, and I assured the Senator that
my business was of such transcendent im-
portance I must crave a couple of hours
of his leisure when at home ; and I asked
him to appoint the time.
" But what a big man you are !" was
my first exclamation. " I had no idea
you were so big !"
56 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
" Yes, I have been called great," he quietly .
remarked.
" You don't look half so tall and broad-
shouldered in the Senate as you do out
here."
" I am among great men in there," he
explained.
" That's the reason," said I. " Out among
common-sized men a Senator's magnitude
shows itself. And now I see why you are
so often called a dandy. Fine clothes and
a blue necktie don't look well on a large
man. Only on dapper little men. In the
Senate Chamber, among so many large
men, you don't look large, and you don't
appear foppish. But outside "
" Yes," interrupted the Senator, in his
pleasant, yet firm, strong way, " I have
been called out at sundry times by original
geniuses, but you are the first to draw
me from senatorial duties to inform me
MR. GHIWS DREAM. 57
how my personal appearance strikes you. I
conjecture you have been reading a ladies'
magazine, or wasting valuable time with a
dilettante, or gossiping with a man-milliner.
If your business with me is now concluded,
our interview ends."
" I want two hours," said I. " I have a
colossal plan to unfold to you, in which
your great city of New York is specially
concerned."
After some further conversation, I secured
the appointment I desired, met him at his
house at the hour designated, held various sub-
sequent interviews, and was finally successful
in polarizing all the atoms of that entire
mighty globe of cerebral substance in the
right direction regarding my scheme.
In a similar way, and with similar results,
I attacked a number of the leaders of
thought at the capital.
The broad, judicial mind of Chief Jus-
3
58 MR. GfflM'S DREAM.
tice Waite became deeply enamored of the
project.
Even the serene and lofty complacency
of the venerable Fernando Wood bent to
consider my sweeping measure of progress;
and, waving its hoary conservatism away
behind it, entered with dignified enthusiasm
into the rising effort of human nature to
advance.
But I must admit that not every mem-
ber of Congress was or ever could be con-
vinced of the usefulness of this or any
other progressive step. There are men
who have no conception of progress; and to
talk with such men upon new and great
themes would be a waste of time. They
are constitutionally predisposed to favor in-
activity rather than progress, to frown upon
forward movements" and let stagnation ruin
a people. Such men I did not attempt
to convince. I did not seek an interview
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 59
with Randall in the House, or Bayard in
the Senate, though the former comes from
the great State which furnished a stentorian
advocate of my enterprise in the person of
the famous Pig Iron Kelley, and the other
represents a little State which produced
that incomparable letter-writer, George Alfred
Townsend. The latter became a solid
supporter of my forthcoming measure, and
eloquently rounded many a pithy period con-
cerning it over the signature of " Gath."
It was not so difficult to convince him at
last as to catch him at first. He was in
New York one day, New Orleans the next,
Saratoga the next, St. Louis the next, Wash-
ington the next, and had an engagement to
be in San Francisco the next. I caught
. him in the only place where he was ever
quiet on an express train. For subsequent
interviews, I had no difficulty in finding
him on an express train. This soul-stirring
60 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
journalist committed himself thoroughly and
strongly in favor of the gigantic plan I
had marked out. Journalists all favored
it. At first, of course, they all ridiculed it ;
but after due consideration they all edged
around to the sensible side. Newspaper
correspondents harped upon it, and shortly
the idea was broadcast.
Perley considered its influence upon the
Republican party.
Jay Charlton dived into its technique.
Poiein wrote up its profitableness as a
speculation.
Redfield was sure it would not break
the solid South.
\
Boynton prophesied what its effect would
be, from the Gulf to Alaska.
Eugene Lawrence was disappointed at not .
finding anything dangerously Ultramontane
in the scheme.
Every one treated it in his own special,
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 61
characteristic way, and thus it was analyzed
completely and advertised thoroughly.
Before narrating further how my great
project fared, I will in one long chapter
describe what the enterprise was, and how
I came to think of it
62 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
CHAPTER II.
WAS born upon the sea. The
billows were very angry at the time.
They dashed against the vessel, and
they made such a terrible ado about it how
could I ever forget it?
My father was a sea captain, and he always
kept his little family with him. He and my
mother were one. One cannot well be in
two places at the same time. They steered
together in their course through married life,
keeping clear of its breakers, and holding to
the same latitude and longitude so closely
that the smallest angry wave could not roll
between them. And so it happened that I,
their only child, was born upon the ocean.
MR. GlflM'S DREAM. 63
I was rocked in a crystal cradle one
hundred feet wide and forty feet deep. It
has rocked many persons into their long
sleep.
My infancy and youth were mainly spent
upon the restless waves.
When I dive down deep into memory,
and bring up to the light a few of the old-
est impressions I have stowed away there, to
look them over and feel them again I find
myself standing on a wooden thing which
goes by the name of a ship; but the "good
ship," as they call it, is in a woful plight, and
all the matters around are horribly mixed ;
nothing I can see or feel has any stability:
there is no settled bottom or top to any-
thing; whatever is up one minute is down
the next ; the ship is a mere wooden play-
thing for some monster, and all the frag-
ments of the vast sea around it are swinging
hither or surging thither, rushing on with
64 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
resistless force. The howling winds and the
roaring waters combine to render the situ-
ation awful! I lose my hold of the door,
and go sliding around on the slippery deck,
coasting from point to point, until I clutch
something; and even then I see no place
of safety in the entire universe, for nothing
will keep still! I look up, and there I see
a tremendous bank of water approaching,
coming on so steadily, so firmly, so mightily,
that I expect when it gets here it will over-
whelm little me and all hereabouts. I can
feel the ship going down, down, and I can
see that gigantic ridge of water coming on,
on, until its foot reaches the vessel, giving
it such a kick that it tips the little wooden
thing half over and sends it up, up, up,
as though we were going up into Heaven
this very minute! Away up on the top
of a ridge of water we are lifted, at the
mercy of a single wave, and as the pal-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 65
try wooden thing sways over the crest to
the other side we begin to go down again
into that awful chasm, for the water rolls
away from beneath and lets us down,
down, down, so low, so far, so long, that
it seems as though we were to keep on
going down forever; but another rover, like
the former, comes and gives the ship an-
other kick, which sends it part way over
and up again, up, up, up to that dizzy
height from which I look around in
all directions down on wrathy Neptune,
who is opening his mouth and roaring far
and wide. The air appears to be moving
in all possible directions, and moving
in all possible haste, but down from the
heavens upon a sudden comes a gust of
wind with greater velocity ; and as it sweeps
the cordage through and through, it splits
the maintop-gallant sail from yard to yard,
and carries away the main-royal entire, giv-
66 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
ing it a blow that sets it flying high and
away. Furiously another squall comes on,
and every sail is put to the severest test
of its tension by a mad current of air which
reaves the vessel of everything willing to
go before it ! In half the twinkling of
an eye it snatches off the weakest remain-
ing sail, wrenches another from its clew-
lines, and smacks the gaily flying streamers
into shreds ! Gust after gust swoops from
the raging fluid above us, down *to the
raging fluid beneath us, creating havoc in
every yielding obstacle to its course, and
dashing upon the sea to expend its power
there in goading Neptune up into a whiter
heat of fury ! Every downward gust is a
reckless plunge of air which plows yet
deeper into the roughened surface of the
ocean, raising a billow to sweep away the
ruins created by its impetuous career among
the older waves, meeting the newer undula-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 67
tions, clashing sometimes into a heterogene-
ous mixture, all rolling away in confusion,
sometimes compounding into one deep and
mighty surge. Heavy-looking clouds are
now rumbling in the distance, and tumbling
along pell-mell in their ardor, firing up and
shooting each other through and through,
bellowing in tones which echo long and
loudly from the broad ocean beneath.
Squalls thicken and darken with the rain
which now comes pouring from the over-
hanging firmament of awful blackness upon
the underlying fundament of awful rough-
ness. Oh ! how it rains ! Yet the drench-
ing water from that source is welcome, for
it washes the deck of the drenching spray
that comes from the filthy swash of the
sea. But the wild activity of the wind is
ruinous. Fearful and only fearful is the
situation now, for peril and only peril is
felt Ah ! sad news ! " Man overboard !"
68 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
is shouted from the bow. Instantly the
cry is taken up, hoarsely repeated over the
deck, and rung out at every point in the
rigging, from the flying-jib to the spanker-
boom. I see a man hurrying from the
quarter-deck with a rope, and bending over
the stern ; another goes to the larboard
bulwark, and one to the starboard ; while
others are hurrying down the ratlines to
man a boat. Every effort is made to re-
cover poor Jack. But the luckless fellow,
in losing his hold of the bowsprit, lost his
hold of the entire globe, slipped away from
earth into unknown regions, and will never
close his fingers upon a rope again, even a
vessel's shroud. And any one else on board
might pass off in a similar way. The good
ship itself might go to destruction with us
all. This is a shaky place for a man to try
to live. After much groaning of the discon-
tented thing called a ship, the violence of
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 69
the storm abates, and the wooden article on
which we are enduring life goes on less
noisily and somewhat less disagreeably. The
fitfulness of the wind is gone, but the
water is never still, and therefore the ship
is never quiet. I see the mighty surges of
the ocean rolling toward me day after day,
and I feel them rocking me in my cradle
night after night, with the dreariest monot-
ony from week to week, until a vague vis-
ion or hope of something firm and solid in
the world, somewhere, grows into a splendid
reality, and looms up in the horizon to
meet the very yearnings of my instinct.
Land ! I land in Heaven ! It is a place
of such solidity and grandeur, affording
such new delight, I call it Heaven. There
are so many calm and lovely objects every-
where, land is a perfect Heaven to this
little four-year-old me. Hither and thither
in Heaven I rove as well as my sea-legs
70 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
will allow. It is -a delightfully hard road
to travel. They call it a pavement ; I
call it the deck. I test the countless
articles around me ; I put my hands upon
them, and my finger-ends partake of the
satisfaction I feel to find that all these
queer things are real, substantial, tangible.
It is the veritable Heaven of my intense
longings, and I enjoy it as no one born
and brought up on the land of the earth
could. As I walk this deck I am so
pleased I laugh at every step. It is such
a queer deck to my unaccustomed feet I
hardly know how to tread. I expect it
to come up, but it fails me ; I look for it
to go down, but it is I who go down. I
jump up and try it again until I feel
squeamish ; then I swing my hips and
surge along till I am all right again. Every
scene is delightful from its novelty. But
the strange quiet investing all is amazing.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 71
The elements here are numberless, and yet
how little clashing. There is now and then
a jar, a slight rumbling, a curious trembling,
an earthquake they call it ; but that is
soon over, and all is quiet and peaceful as
before. The people living here, however,
seem agitated when they are taken and
shaken by the main beneath them ; but
what would be their feeling if this deck
on which they walk were always rearing
or plunging, and their houses always ca-
reening ? How would they like to live
where the foundation of one's abiding-place
is nothing but water, into whose fatal depths
an unseen rock at any time might sink
their house and all its contents? I won-
der that people here do not enjoy their
homes without exception, for it seems to me
they have nothing to make them unhappy.
I hear a multitude of different sounds which
I cannot recognize, and I listen eagerly to
72 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
them all ; yet persons who have always
dwelt here say they hear nothing; and then
they say, " Yes, we hear plenty of noise."
To me it is a continual mixture of pleasing
sounds, albeit a queer species of quiet some-
how pervades everything here. It is not
silence, but quiet, a strange immovableness
of things. I do not find a hammock
swinging anywhere, and the bunks are the
flattest things a young sailor ever saw. I
become acquainted with youngsters of my
age, and they all ask me why I waddle
instead of walking as they do. I don't
know. But I think a while, and I tell them
that if they come on to my deck perhaps
they will waddle. I see some pretty little
boys wearing one-legged pants, and I don't
know what to make of them. I think they
are angels, but I am told they are girls. We
never had any on board our ship. I see
some bigger and more robustious angels,
MR. GHIATS DREAM. 73
too. My father says they remind him of
my dead mother. And I see some scrawny
angels, but I can't help liking them. I
am so happy I like everything I see or
hear here. Oh, these people who live on
land are blest ! blest ! or would be if they did
but know it, if they would only think so.
After a while my father and I, with some
other folks, go out of this hard, solid place,
where the ground and the houses stand so
still, and where so many people are bustling
about and making all sorts of music we go
from here way out upon a broader deck,
where there is not a man to be seen for
many a cable's length. Out here the deck
is painted green, and it feels inexpressibly
soft and nice. What a calm prevails! There
is no music here. It is solid quiet. I
never knew there could be such silence.
It is absolutely serene. Oh, this is a queer
place, but it is perfectly delightful. Half a
74 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
knot to windward I see some big people
with horns. Those men are so large
they have four legs to stand on, and carry
an extra leg hung behind. They are the
funniest persons I ever saw aboard anything.
Some of them are kissing the soft green
deck ! What queer folks live out here, as
well as back there. I saw some men there
like these, only with big long ears, and
other men called them donkeys. We pass
on, and by and by we reach a cool and
lovely spot wHere the green deck changes
to brown, and a lot of masts have been
built into it. I am told we are in a forest.
What an odd set of masts ! All full of
such yards and cross-trees! And the poles
jut up so close to each other, everything
above is a tangle. They are all yard-arm
and yard-arm ! Bless my eyes if I can
make out a single shroud to them all !
No sails, no halliards, no clew-lines nor
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 75
garnets, no shrouds nor ratlines, no stays,
no braces, no rigging of any kind, what
do they want of all those curious yards,
every one of which is jogged up and twisted
and gone askew to nothing ? Ha ! ha !
what land-lubber stuck all those masts into
the deck, and forgot to put in even one
jib ? This is a wonderful world. Now I
hear some music. Up there where the top-
gallant shrouds ought to be, and away up
on that royal mast, I see gulls have boarded
us. My weather eye is out for them, and I
can see the stormy petrels and sea-gulls
alight. But Mother Carey's chickens here
are curious things. And I never saw such
infant sea-gulls before, nor so many sorts
and colors as well as sizes. Nor did I ever
hear them express their thoughts so deli-
cately. Oh, they are sweet, perfectly sweet,
and I am charmed to death almost. What
a remarkable kind of a place this is ! We
76 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
climb over a gunwale, but there is no danger
of falling into the briny. On we walk until
we come to a cabin, as they call it, though
we have no such cabin on our ship. While
my folks are stopping here I go out of the
cubin on to the deck again. Looking far
away, I box the compass. Then I climb
over a stone bulwark into what they call a
road, though a ship's yawl would get aground
in such shallow roads as they have here. I
sit down in the sand until I begin to feel
dizzy ; then I sway myself up and swing
along on my pins, tramping to windward,
then to leeward, and boxing the compass
again while I take a turn around. I dive
into this land-lubber's cabin once more,
and, finding my folks not ready yet to go,
it occurs to me that I will ride on the
hurricane deck a while. I hoist myself up
a stairway, then up a ladder, but the hur-
ricane deck is all tipped to larboard, and
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 77
hangs there ; it is too steep to stand on ;
I should slide into the lee-scuppers unless
I belayed myself to that red, square
smoke-pipe; so I climb back and fumble
around in the galley. Soon I am about
to go down into the hold, when the old
salts here tell me it is so dark down
there I couldn't see my hand a rod be-
fore me ; so I only fathom it with a
stone tied to a string, until I hollo at
the strange sight of two green eyes down
there in the dark looking up at me aw-
fully. Out on deck I go again, and pick-
ing out the smallest mast hereaway, I shin
up to the main-yard, but there I get stuck
and have to be lifted out yelling. I am
hurt, but I soon get over that, and I am
so satisfied I laugh in perfect glee at the
host of new and mysterious things I see
around me everywhere. Day after day I
enjoy sights, sights, sights, delights, delights,
78 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
delights! I want to live here always, but in
a few days my father says that old Neptune
is loudly calling for us, and we must go.
So I take a dismal leave of this, my beauti-
ful Heaven, with its myriad contents, never
to see them, perhaps, any more. Oh ! it is
hard, hard to part with all the lovely beings
here, knowing that they remain to enjoy
their varied lives amid these entrancing
scenes, while I must go upon the ocean's
drear waste, and see no land again for a long,
long time. To leave the endless variety of
music here, and endure the monotonous roar
of the sea alone, is a misery ; but there is no
help for it, so I sadly bestir myself for our
departure. With tears in my eyes I kiss all
the little angels I can find, and I throw one
big, wholesale kiss to the delicate little petrels
and every other sweet creature that dwells in
this paradise bidding them all come and see
me if they can, early and often, in my home
MR. GfflM'S DREAM. 79
upon the sea. Away we sail, and this little
four-year-old fellow grows homesick, or land-
sick, or something, as well as seasick. A
furious gale comes and tosses us up and
around so carelessly that my little stomach
cannot endure it without issuing a protest
After the brief sojourn where it was so calm
and where I was so happy, treading a deck
that heaved so rarely, I must now become
accustomed to the motion of the seething sea
again. Oh ! I do not want this any more !
I long for the solid Heaven I left behind me !
But on we totter, the gale above us passes,
the raging fever of the ocean subsides, and
through the ordinary swell of the crestfallen
sea we cut our way, carrying every sheet in
the wind, all of us growing more contented
every day in the cheering sunlight's blaze.
We have a stock of harpoons on board.
Every man is enlisted for a warfare of two
years and twenty months against the whales,
8o MR. GfflM'S DREAM.
and we are bound for that cold sea where
many of the oily giants swim. We occa-
sionally meet other ships. They are all
plunging along as we are, rolling and pitch-
ing. But we pass a huge dark object that
neither rolls nor pitches in the least. Waves
are breaking their heads upon it, yet the
grim pile stands unmoved. This little four-
year-old boy is interested to inquire why that
thing is not tossed about like other things
on the water, and I am told that it is a
rock. The answer does not satisfy me, for
it seems to me that if it is a rock it ought
to rock. Our vessel seems more of a real
"rock" to me, and that dark object is the
only staunch thing I have seen upon the
water. They tell me it does not float, while
the vessel does ; and they explain the differ-
ence, to my satisfaction ; but by and by we
pass another great object that is really float-
ing, yet neither rocking nor a rock ; a
MR. GfflM'S DREAM. 81
massive thing, not dark and frowning, but
bright and glistening ; supported by the
water, though it is hard and solid all
through ; a vast object that is moving
steadily and grandly, heedless of the mightiest
waves, and able to carry a multitude of peo-
ple if they could get upon it. I am in-
formed it is an iceberg, and I inquire why
we do not travel upon an iceberg, or upon
something steady like that, instead of being
tossed about in such a frail thing as a ship. I
do not get a satisfactory answer to my queries.
They tell me that an iceberg melts and dis-
appears, but I tell them that wood does not
melt, and I want to know why we do not
have a ship or something of that size, or
of some sort of respectable size, so that the
strongest gales cannot imperil or disturb us.
The sailors all laugh. No question ever
seemed to them more idle. But no question
ever seemed to me more important. I persist
82 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
in my inquiries till I sober them, when they
seriously answer that they are dumbfounded.
And well they might be.
The waves of the ocean were tremendous
when I first looked upon them. My little
eyes beheld them in all their real glory,
and I see them still the same. The cir-
cumstances were such that I felt the winds
and saw the waves just as they were, and not
as they might be imagined afar off. I was
too young to be intoxicated with glamour,
and to call the terrible waters sublime. I
could only view them in the light of their
own actual worth. No preconceived opinions
of mine were operating then to mould them
to an ideal. Romance was not there, to
brighten their fearful mien, to charm away
the reality. Precisely as the waves were,
they rolled before me ; and the impression
they fixed upon a new mind was true and
lasting.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 83
To one who was born and brought up on
the sea, there is a rich ludicrousness in the
ideas of those who were not (so far as their
ideas pertain to that subject the sea).
After settling upon land, nothing so amused
me as to hear the narrow ideas of people
in general upon so great a matter as the
ocean. I found the impression common
among them that a vessel four or five hun-
dred feet long is a huge thing ! Bless their
little hearts, it may seem great to them. It
is great when compared with smaller things,
but a mere trifle when compared with greater
things. Everything is judged by compari-
son. Quietly resting in still water at the
dock, with river steamboats around, and a
rowboat happening near, the ocean steamer
appears a vast object. Place it in a dry-dock,
and it seems larger still. But it is not in its
element. Replace it in its element, and view
it when that element in mid-ocean is surging
84 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
around it fiercely, threatening its life the
comparison is there reversed ; the mightier
mass belittles the vessel to a mere nothing ;
it disappears altogether, and the drowning
wretches find it worse than nothing, for it
brought them to their destruction. In their
last moments they perceive that the ocean
steamer, four or five hundred feet long, is not
a very great thing after all ; that if it had
been four or five hundred feet shorter it
would have been quite as great in the end ;
that such a thing as that is not a fit article
with which to navigate a stormy sea ; that
they would not be in a more unnatural situ-
ation if that same vessel, with themselves on
board, were in one of the streets of New-
York Canal street, for instance endeavoring
to sail on the dampness which settles there
when the sweet springtime comes.
It is easy to see how the erroneous im-
pression originated, that a vessel four or five
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 85
hundred feet long is a massive object Almost
every one obtains the first impression of an
ocean steamer by seeing it lying quietly at
the dock, or moving steadily through the still
waters of a harbor, where the contrast with
boats or with ripples can only serve to mag-
nify the ocean steamer in appearance the
ocean itself being so far in the background
as to be on the other side of the picture,
out of sight. With most persons, the first
impression of an ocean steamer has nothing
of the ocean about it, and is consequently a
false impression. And first impressions are
not eradicated easily. If every one caught
the first sight of an ocean steamer while it
was performing its function, laboring to sur-
vive a terrific storm at sea, we should all
regard an ocean steamer as no very great
affair on the ocean.
In consequence of the ideas of people who
emanate from the land, pursuing their ludi-
86 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
crous little methods in regard to the ocean,
the briny deep is salting them down at a
fearful rate. If it were not horrible, it would
be laughable, to see intelligent people con-
tinue a system of navigation by which thou-
sands of the most highly organized beings
upon earth perish every year unnecessarily.
The champion grave-digger of the world
is Neptune. If you wish to be buried
nicely, speedily, thoroughly, cheaply, yet fash-
ionably, go to him. He is an undertaker as
well as a grave-digger, and will take your
whole case into his own hands. It will be
attended to at once, though he has a great
deal to do. He is always busy somewhere.
His business is overwhelming. And no one
could carry on that business better. He has
been extensively patronized by all classes,
taking the highest to the lowest. He will
bury you more than six feet deep if you
wish ; he will put you as low as you please.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 87
You have but to let him reach and take
you, when he will gently lay you in a grave
so deep that no body-snatcher on earth will
ever get a rope around your neck for an
enterprising doctor to plunge his knife into
your still mysterious spleen.
Although Neptune is very strong, he has
one weak point : he lacks intelligence. He
pervades eveiy drop of every ocean with his
might, yet the whole is merely blind force
The enlightened force of intelligence in all
men combined, however, does not successfully
cope with that blind force ; there is not a
safe conveyance on the ocean !
If " knowledge is power," Neptune's power
over man has been very great for one pos-
sessing Neptune's amount of knowledge.
Neptune has no more knowledge of what
he is doing than if he were a crazy man
or an angry woman, or a mad dog, or a red-
hot stove. And has Neptune's powerful en-
88 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
emy, Man, been more thoughtful ? Failing
to provide against the simple combination
of weak drops of water in motion, thousands
of souls every year are completely washed
out of the bodies that were made especially
for them.
Human beings rush upon the sea, there
to be lightly tossed off into ready-made
graves which rise to fold them in.
Whole shiploads of people from time to
time have disappeared. Four of the best
steamships, the President, the Pacific, the
City of Glasgow, and the City of Boston,
were never heard from after leaving port for
the last time. Hundreds of persons upon
each of those vessels were forever missing.
Another steamer Pacific has been lost, and
more than 100 persons have gone down with
it.
The great ocean disasters of recent years
are vividly remembered: the steamer Ville
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. . 89
du Havre carried down to death 226 per-
sons, the Schiller 311, the Atlantic nearly
500, the Cospatrick nearly 500.
Among the legion of shipwrecks I will
enumerate a few others, in alphabetical order,
without including in the list a single case
where less than a hundred persons per-
ished :
The Amazon, .... Jan. 4, 1852, ; lives lost, 102
" Anna Jane, . . . Sept. 29, 1853 ; " " 393
" Arctic, Sept. 27, 1854; 323
" Austria, Sept. 13, 1858 \ " " 461
" Birkenhead, . . . Feb. 26, 1852; " " 438
" Cambria, .... Oct. 19, 1870; " " 170
" Captain, Sept. 7, 1870; " " 500
" Central America, . 1857; " " 417
" Charles Bartlett, . . July, 1849 ; " " 132
" Earl of Abergavenny, Feb. 5, 1805 ; " " 247
" Exmouth, . . . . April 28, 1847; " " 2 5 Z
" Favorite, ..... April 28, 1854 ; " " 201
" Floridian, .... Feb. 28, 1849 ; " 174
" Golden Gate, . . . July 27, 1862 ; " " 204
" Halsewell, . . . . Jan. 6, 1786; " " 166
" John, May 3, 1855; " " 190
" Lady Nugent, . . . May, 1854; " " 400
9 o ^ MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
The London, Jan. n, 1866; lives lost, 230
" Northfleet, .... Jan. 22, 1873 J " " 2 93
" Ocean Monarch, . . Aug. 24, 1848 ; " " 178
" Pomona, April 28, 1859 ; " " 386
" Powhattan, .... April 15, 1854; " " 250
" Queen Charlotte, . . Sept. 19,1854; " " 117
" Queen Charlotte, . . March 17, 1800; " " 700
" Rothsay Castle, . . Aug. 17, 1831 ; " " 130
" Royal Adelaide, . t . April 30, 1850; " " 206
" .Royal Charter, . .0^.26,1859; " 459
" Royal George,. . . Aug. 29, 1782; " " 800
" San Francisco, . . . Dec. 24, 1853; " " 300
" Staffordshire, . . . Dec. 29, 1853 ; " " 175
" Tayleur, Jan. 21, 1854; " " 290
These were among the so-called large
vessels. Reckoning the vast number of
lives lost by the destruction of smaller ves-
sels, the total for any one year is several
thousand persons.
From the little port of Gloucester, Mass.,
over 300 vessels have gone to wreck within
one generation.
During six tempestuous weeks beginning
in December, 1839, 1 9 2 vessels were driven
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 91
upon the shore of New England ; 192 com-
plete wrecks; 89 of them on one day, Dec.
15. 1839.
The loss of vessels from all the ports of
the world together is enormous every year.
For instance, during only one month (May,
1873) 1 6 of the vessels bound to or from
American ports alone were lost.
In the previous summer, 41 vessels en-
gaged in the seal fishery were wrecked on
the coast of Labrador and Newfoundland.
Those 41 vessels contained 4,000 persons, of
whom only 175 were saved. Thus, in one
year 3,825 persons 'were drowned in one
small portion of one of the oceans. Though
such fatality at sea is not the rule, the
average is great, and the aggregate is im-
mense.
Yet the same old system continues." Little
things called ships are built, in great num-
bers, and sent out to destruction.
92 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
In 1873 the number of vessels built in
America was 1,700.
In the five years ending with 1872, the
number of vessels built in America was
5,387, and the number of American vessels
lost during those five years was 2,117, nearly
half as many as were built.
There are now more than 20,000 vessels
in ocean waters, yet not a one is A i.
Now let us turn from the unprofitable
past to the glorious future.
There is one perfectly safe and sure way
to cross the ocean. And only one. Have
patience, and we will come to it and give it
a thorough examination together. When
upon the sea, the amount of one's patience
and long-suffering is greater than it should be.
The ships we embark in go to pieces, and
the difficulty is supposed to be without
remedy. If our dwelling-houses were as fre-
quently to break in pieces and scatter us
MR. GHIATS DREAM. 93
out, or if they were in the habit of surging
around and shaking us up without spilling
us out, something would be done ! In this
part of the world something on a large
scale would be very soon begun, in the en-
deavor to reform the matter. Houses would
be built which could not so readily wabble.
Vessels can be built which will not disport
themselves in a risky and ludicrous style.
There is a way to build a ship that cannot
sink or go to pieces, cannot pitch or roll.
And the same method will avert seasick-
ness, that broad, deep, long, high, insurmount-
able misery, that wretchedness, beginning with
the grim shadow of dreaded seasickness, and
merging into the agony of terribly real
seasickness ! It is time for a demurrer to
the action. Year after year, century after
century, man has travelled the ocean ; and
what has been done to alleviate, or even
mitigate, the sufferings of the journey, the
94 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
pangs from that abominable disorder, that
old complaint, that worthless relic of an age
weak with ignorance, that shameful barbarism
of deportment at sea called seasickness ?
The most widespread epidemic that ever
travelled the world was seasickness. And
what is its present condition ? The malady
still prevails. It covers the ocean, for even
the great portion of the nineteenth century
gone has failed to combine the simple ele-
ments of a compound which is to quell the
epidemic. Smaller ills are met, each with its
antidote; the more occult the nature of an
ill, the more its counteracting agent is sought
while plainer difficulties are overlooked. The
evil of too great power has one plain anti-
dote : equal power. Let the force of the
ocean be what it may at any one point, man
can bring a greater force of resistance at
that point if he will. And he certainly will !
Then may the ship say unto the ocean, as
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 95
Emilia so quaintly said to Othello, "Thou
hast not half the power to do me harm
that I have to be hurt!"
Building a vessel that can be easily over-
come and sunk by the force of a soulless
body is absurd ! Tossing upon the water
when we do not like the motion is ridic-
ulous ! Tossing out victuals is ludicrous !
The coming man will do no such thing on
the coming ship, for the coming ship will
be adapted to the man aboard. He will
not walk in a zigzag line on a ship that
bobs along in a zigzag course. He will
not appear highly intoxicated in the calm
endeavor to tread an inclined plane which
is shifting every moment He will not
yearn for the end of his journey. Nor
will he be forced to bring his journey to a
sudden end among the purple mullets.
No! If man's ingenuity cannot contrive
a method of going safely and smoothly over
96 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
a mere inanimate substance no harder than
the soft and fluent matter called water then
the age of improvements has ended!
Many thousand persons are rocking upon
the ocean at all times. Rocking and reeling
and tottering over the sea oh, it is ridicu-
lous ! Every hour, every minute, several thou-
sand persons are deep in the agony of
seasickness. Their feelings can never be
known by those who are only slightly af-
fected. Seasickness as experienced by some
is merely nausea for a day or two. Let them
not sneer at the malady in others, who pass
through the most excruciating series of tor-
ments that human nature can bear. Words
cannot be found strong enough to describe
it. However sensational it seems, it is all
true seasickness is. There is no romance
about it. Yet it is stirringly sensational. In
its hardest, strongest, fiercest form, it runs
into ship-fever, and is fatal.
MR. GffSM'S DREAM. 97
There are pleasant ways in which to regard
seasickness. One is to consider it an auc-
tion, whereby we are clearing out a stock of
damaged goods, and they are going cheap.
Everything must be disposed of. Here is a
pie, an elegant pie, just now taken in; how
much is it worth? You can't buy these
goods new for less than ten or fifteen cents.
To be sure, this is second-hand; but how
much is it worth? One scent. Only one
scent. Going, going, gone to Mr. Neptune
there, for only one scent. Now, here is a
piece of tripe we laid in earlier ; some onions
and cheese and many other things along with
it ; how much for the lot ? The onions alone
would be sure to bring a scent. But they
must all go together. What is the lot worth ?
Start them at anything you like ; they will
be sure to go. How much for the lot ? The
tripe may be a little the worse for wear, but
it can't be much worse. One scent will start
98 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
them. There they go, to Mr. Neptune, for one
scent. Next is a good, solid, rich, yellow,
saleratus biscuit, every chink full of powerful
soda. It will certainly bring a dolor. A
dolor to start it. A dolor. Going only a
dolor going, going, gone to Mr. Neptune
again, and for only one dolor. Cheap enough
for that. Here is a little soup left ; we had
more, but we couldn't get along at all with-
out using some of it, and this is what is
left of the quickly nourishing soup. Excel-
lent soup once. Take it now for what it's
worth. Nothing to start it. Who bids more ?
Nothing, nothing, nothing. Gone to Mr.
Neptune for nothing.
There are unpleasant ways, also, in which
to regard seasickness. When seasick, all is
horribleness ! There is no way to rest ! The
world has broken loose ! We are maddening !
We look in every direction, but there is
nothing to depend upon; not an atom is
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 99
quiet; everything we see and feel is in terri-
ble motion ! The air is rushing, the ocean is
boiling, the billows are foaming, the water
is dashing, the waves are leaping, the spray
is drenching, the surges are thundering, the
ship is rolling and pitching, its prow is div-
ing, its masts are bending, its joints are
creaking, its timbers are groaning, upon its
heaving deck we are roaming it is a world
of solids and fluids in a fever of action ! Yet
the world around us seems calm compared
to the chaos of gyrating solids and fluids
within us!
Let us consider the pleasures to be derived
in travelling upon a first-class steamship. Here
we roll in the luxury of stately staterooms.
Delectable ! This is princely suffering ! We
surge out and roll more heavily. It is the
very poetry of motion in blank verse ! En-
tering a series of elegant saloons, and noting
the superb misery to be had in the first-
ioo MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
cabin are we pained ? Let us not be squeam-
ish about it ; the pain we feel is the very ex-
cess of delight! We are simply infatuated
with vexation. What fine carving ! What
exquisite torment ! What rich upholstering !
What interesting spasms ! What lovely tints !
What grand convulsions ! What supernal
chandeliers ! What gay fits ! What charm-
ing gilt! What sublime explosions! What
beautiful wainscotings ! What extreme feel-
ings! What downy seats! What sumptuous
wretchedness ! The doors extend to us bright
silver hands ; the richly painted walls bloom
with golden touches ; the glassy varnish re-
flects our happiness all, all, and adds so
much to our joy ! We are swayed from de-
light to delight What handsome doorways !
What showy stairways ! How pretty all
ways ! A fickle ship in display ! She is
richly attired for a dance, and is she not
gaily rushing through a lively season! We
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 101
think of her gilded trappings, and how they
soothe our troubled feelings. Oh, we are en-
during splendid misery! Let the ocean roar;
no matter what is without when all this is
within ! Sublimity everywhere ! The ship
has a npble prow! Don't we enjoy it! We
are compelled to stagger among mahogany.
If it were oak, perhaps we should be un-
happy. If pine, we might be miserable. We
are pitched by fate to unexpected pleasures*
A sick stranger is flung to us for a desperate
embrace. Another lurch, and away we go,
sadly parting. Life is dreadfully enchanting
here. We are frantic in admiration of the
ocean, yet we have only seen the surface;
we shall be lost in speechless pleasures if we
go down. While the ship floats we appreci-
ate every trifle of happiness vouchsafed to
us. Ever surrounded by jauntily moving or-
naments, we thread our devious way among
these pretty things, feeling ineffable feelings,
102 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
looking at every portion of the ship in turn,
utterly satisfied with it all. Existence here
has a charm of its own. It is sweet trouble!
It is imperial agony ! It is a blissful fore-
taste of eternal punishment ! But we need
not feel any anxiety; everything here is first-
class; we may feel perfect security; we could
not ourselves more safely decorate the cabin,
nor more securely deck the deck. Depend
upon it, the whole vessel is safely adorned.
The prow will never make a fatal plunge,
for if you could see the figure-head ! if you
could but look into the face of that divine
protecting genius ! We are free from danger
all around the hull is guarded from the
ocean by thick coats of paint. Moreover,
the outline is a graceful contour. Everything
has been done that could be done. Money
was lavished upon the engines down there,
to give the iron a rich lustre. Every bit of
the ship is sufficiently refined and polished.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 103
The vessel is perfect; not a crack could be
discovered. Passengers are all right, in any
event they occupy the finest part of the
ship. Could so ornate a vessel sink ? Is it
possible that such a beautiful feminine crea-
ture could dive all over into that dirty
water, and get drowned ? Well, if she did,
every glittering thing will cheer us with its
bright looks when the ship sinks. We will
feast our eyes upon the sparkling tips of
burnished brass. Drowning, we shall be happy
to know that " a thing of beauty is a joy
forever," and therefore such beautiful things
as these ocean steamers must go on delight-
ing other people thus forever. Posterity, we
congratulate you. An ocean steamer, inside
or outside, is a dreadfully charming place.
How delightful to heave with overwhelming
emotion amid such scenes ! How sweet to
visit the railing, and linger there ! These are
blissful throes of anguish ! Upon a first-class
104 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
steamship nausea is simply divine ! After ex-
ploring the whole vessel a few hundred times^
we meet objects that look a little familiar.
We recognize them, and sometimes we are
moved to embrace them. It seems as though
we had always lived here and sometimes as
though we should die here. It is a pictur-
esque locality for walking. With carefully
studied gait, we loiter along from saloon to sa-
loon. Ah ! these fleeting moments are linger-
ing hours of halcyon distress. When sated with
the glory of all the ship's saloons, we can
seek the hidden charm of freshness in that
retired nook, that pretty niche, that lovely
retreat the state-room. Entering that bower,
the pleasing memories awakened are inde-
scribable. When we leave this fragrant niche,
we trip around over the deck, and fantas-
tically toe the bulwark. There we obtain
immediate relief from too much of a good
thing. We leave the bulwark with a lighter
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 105
step, and plunge under cover, taking um-
brage at a sofa, beneath a proudly swaying
wall. Then something suddenly happens
again. " History repeats itself." Oh ! we are
having a grand time ! These are the stirring
moments that make our lives worth living!
How sweet the air! Nothing could ap-
proach the fragrance ! A ship's aroma there
is no other property like it ! We smell it,
we condemn it, we keep it, we hate it, we
breathe it, we loathe it, we avoid it, we catch
it, we shun it, we despise it, we chew it, we
cannot help it, we swallow it, we have it,
we drink it, we secure it, we dwell upon it,
we move in it, we fill our pockets with it,
and every stitch of clothing receives and
holds its share of it. Every charming nook
in the ship is redolent of it. We feel, with
Othello, " if it were now to die, 'twere now
to be most happy "though he said it soon
after getting married, and in troth we are in
io6 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
a different plight. In many ways the vessel
enthralls us. The activity of perennial youth
pervades it. Exhilaration reigns. Look at
the lively hangings. The walls come and
go. The people move with alacrity. We
are thrown together frequently ; we often
meet unexpectedly ; this is a pleasure : this
is companionship ! Sometimes a number of
us get together in a knot in one corner;
without knowing why, we gather suddenly,
and hold a mysterious conclave; then we all
go to another corner; soon we go back
again, all together ; then we are all moved
to try that other corner again ; we go
through these proceedings several times ;
this is society ! Eating is one of the pleas-
ant horrors, too. Hesitation and celerity join
their forces above the board. When we take
dinner or supper, or break that sweet fast
in the morning, the table is well supplied
with the various kinds of motion. English
MR. GHIATS DREAM. 107
plates glide, and upon them our French rolls
roll. These China cups of China tea are
very fluent ; coffee is quite as rapid in its
delivery, getting the floor and holding it,
agitating the whole assembly. Butter spreads
itself likewise, and bread of course goes after
it. The meat is restless, and the cheese
more animated than usual. The ham en-
deavors to walk again. How the eggs are
rolling. The tongue is extremely active,
though it says nothing. Expectation is on
tiptoe, ready to rush out to the bulwark.
Hurry, hurry, is the rule. Kiss me quick
and go, my victuals. Quick returns and
small profits by eating. The various forces
of the edibles are correlated at last in the
stomach, and converted into one kind of
motion. Returning from the bulwark, ex-
amine the gilt-edged mirrors, and admire the
picture of happiness in each. Walk out on
deck again for more delights. You can take
io8 MR. GHIJWS DREAM.
a bath for nothing in the lee-scuppers ; and
when you find you may slide down hill all
day without walking up, it is enough to
convert old age into youth or second child-
hood. At night, if you would study astron-
omy, every mast will bow to you, and point
out every star.
Seasickness is one of the greatest evils of
the world, and I am about to propose a plan,
involving a radical change in nautical affairs,
which will obviate the misery and peril of
sea voyages.
When this new system of navigation has
been adopted, we shall have no poets exas-
perating our minds with such an awful pre-
sentation of truth as the following :
" Then rose from sea to sky the wild farewell ;
Then shrieked the timid, and stood still the brave;
Then some leaped overboard with dreadful yell,
As eager to anticipate their grave."
Nor shall we continue to be pained by
such a dreadful ending as this:
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 109
" Till, all exhausted and bereft of strength,
O'erpowered they yield to cruel fate at length.
The burying waters close around their head
They sink ! forever numbered with the dead."
And, alas ! we shall not dwell with mourn-
ful pleasure on the sweet rhythm which tells
us thus the sad sequel of lives cut off in the
brightness of youth and strength and hope :
"Soft sigh the winds of heaven o'er their grave,
While the billow mournful rolls,
And the mermaid's song condoles,
Singing glory to the souls
Of the brave."
The following tribute, too, will be brought
to light as a curiosity in literature, a relic of
the age of shipwrecks:
" God rest the brave
Who 'neath the Atlantic wave
Have sunk to their last home !
******
The tempest blast their parting knell,
The gurgling waters their farewell,
. Their winding sheet the cold dark wave,
Their gallant ship her liegemen's grave."
no MR. GHfM'S DREAM.
And scarcely credible will seem the fact
that mankind ever sacrificed itself to the
ocean so freely as to inspire the beautiful la-
ment in the following sad apostrophe to Nep-
tune:
" To thee the love of woman hath gone down ;
Dark flow thy tides o'er manhood's noble head,
O'er youth's bright locks and beauty's flowery crown.
Yet must thou hear a voice : ' Restore the dead !
Earth shall reclaim her precious things from thee ;
Restore the dead, thou sea !' "
Equally strange then will this more sub-
lime apostrophe to Neptune seem :
" Upon the watery plain
The wrecks are all thy deed, nor doth remain
A shadow of man's ravage, save his own,
When for a moment, like a drop of rain,
He sinks into thy depths with bubbling groan,
Without a grave, unknelled, uncoffined, and unknown."
With stranger feelings still the future anti-
quarian will sound the following lines, and
marvel at the simple foolhardiness of these
times :
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. in
"Hark! Pity! Hark!
Now mounts, now totters on the tempest's wings,
Now grounds and shivers the replunging bark.
Cling to the shrouds ! In vain !"
But he will be utterly astounded on learn-
ing by his researches that people in this age
of abundant energy cared more for ostenta-
tious display than they did for their lives,
and travelled in ships that would burn. As
no pity is called for under such circumstances,
we cannot well blame the future antiquarian
if his sense of the ludicrous moves him to
hilarious laughter when he comes across such
piteous lines as these :
"Lo! o'er the waves a lurid light is cast;
Blood-red the ship pursues her burning way;
Devoured by fire, sore smitten by the blast,
Her doom is sealed ere dawns another day."
When he stops laughing at such incongru-
ity his comment will be : " Well, they were
simply foolish to navigate with such com bus-
iia MR. GHIATS DREAM.
tible little things. Yet they had thousands
and thousands of those before they had one
of the right kind. In 1877 tne 7 na cl over
twenty thousand sea-going vessels, and not
one of them worthy to be used for sea-going.
Not a person on earth until then had ever
put forth the idea of building a vessel of the
right size and shape. The people of that
period spent their abundance on mere show,
and idled away their time in writing poetical
wails over their griefs, instead of taking hold
and working practically to improve, to ad-
vance, to do away with their imperfect struc-
tures, to rise above their difficulties, to remove
the cause of their continually recurring ocean
catastrophes."
Pursuing his researches, he will ponder over
the ponderous strangeness of such extraordi-
nary doings as these :
" A thousand miles from land are we,
Tossing about on the roaring seal
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 113
From billow to bounding billow cast,
Like fleecy snow on the stormy blast !"
In his grim delight at the seeming novelty
of any human being being so ridiculously
circumstanced, and yet perceiving that it is
not a novelty, but a thing of the past, he
may exclaim : " There is nothing new under
the sun!"
But there is. And the change I am about
to propose in the method of navigating the
sea will develop an entirely new thing under
the sun.
Our water vehicles have been touched up
with a few changes now and then. How
steamers can be pushed forward with the
least amount of puffing and sweating has
been importantly discussed, and a great deal
of thought has been given to the angles and
curves. Ho ! let the angles and curves be
what they may, and the boilers large or
small, the ocean rolls around them all with
ii4 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
a power so terrible that every ship is made
to squeak, and some of our greatest favorites
are lost. The ocean beats upon the shore
of every land, proudly exclaiming to Inven-
tion, " Thus far shalt thou come, but no
farther!" and inventors have stood awe-
stricken, regarding the great highway of
nations as one that must always be uncom-
fortable, and always dangerous to travel.
The great subject of ocean transit has
been darkly and narrowly viewed. We still
trust our giddy creations where they will sink
or swim, according to the weather; and we
trust ourselves upon them, expecting to
survive or perish, doubtful which.
Our greatest vehicles on land all move
with majesty and power; our greatest vehi-
cles on water are kicked about in a style
truly laughable.
The future will reflect and wonder at the
relative proportions of our land and water
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 115
structures, when the former are built to
quietly sleep and the latter must live in fury.
On land we have acres covered by one roof ;
blocks joined to blocks; a city, miles in ex-
tent, with conjoint houses, ubiquitous pave-
ment, with intersecting gas-pipes, sewers, and
water-pipes; forming one grand structure,
complete in itself, interdependent, a unity;
and yet, with all its greatness, to rest upon
the quiet earth. Such a thing is possible ;
it is achieved. A unity of much less dimen-
sions, only sufficient to traverse the ocean
securely, is certainly possible, and it will be
achieved.
Manifestly there is a need of something
better to take the place of the unreliable
thing called a ship.
Now let us see precisely what is required.
Safety, of course. Speed is but a secondary
consideration. Safety first. How shall we
secure safety ? By obtaining steadiness. We
n6 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
may like swiftness, but we must have steadi-
ness. A ship that is steady is safe; a man
that is steady is safe. Many a ship is fast,
but not steady or safe; many a man is fast,
but not steady or safe. Vessels at the dock
are steady, but when they go to sea they
become intoxicated. Some men do when
they go away on a journey. A ship, so
quiet and well behaved where civilized people
dwell, is terribly unsteady when travelling
abroad. The reason is plain : ships have not
yet grown large enough to resist the power-
ful influences thrown around them. And
when ships develop to the right size they
will progress to the right form. It will
never make the passage of the Atlantic safe
and comfortable to augment the number of
its little floating palaces. They are swarming
out of the Clyde and the Delaware, but the
savage sea is ready for them ; their numbers
cannot avail ; the ocean has power to destroy
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 117
them all, one by one. Swell the number of
the uncanny things till every square mile of
ocean has its bobbing toy ! yet the very
finest will be kicked and cuffed around un-
feelingly, broken unmercifully, ruined utterly !
The ocean is a broad-gauge route ! Broad-
gauge vehicles are required for such a strik-
ingly broad-gauge route. The route is tried
by a host of vehicles ; not one of them fits
the track. They are all of one sort by being
narrow-gauge ; and the narrow-gauge is clearly
inadequate. Centuries of experience unite
their long lists of ocean horrors to show
that a narrow-gauge vehicle is not adapted
to a broad-gauge route; yet a narrow-minded
policy continues trying hard to run narrow-
gauge vehicles comfortably on a broad-gauge
route.
The great ocean vehicle of the future will
not be called a ship. Vivid recollections of
seasickness will die with that word. The
n8 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
distantly coming man will laugh upon ascer-
taining in musty books what ships were.
The vehicle made to carry him over the
stormy sea will less resemble a ship of the
present day than a whale resembles a min-
now.
Let us conceive the thing whereon the
future man will traverse every ocean. And,
for the convenience of a name, let us call
the mighty structure a TOTO.
Taking one long leap requiring hundreds
of years, we come down in New Jersey.
Thus reaching the center of New Jersey, we
proceed northeasterly, in the direction of
what was formerly Jersey City. Before we
arrive within a dozen miles we enter the
suburbs of a vast commercial city. We
find that Manhattan Island overflowed in
every direction long ago, and now New York
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 119
and New Jersey here are one. New York
City and all its populous neighborhood, in-
cluding a piece of the State of New Jersey
ceded to it, were united into one grand
municipality, in order that America might
wear the honor of having the largest city in
the world. And here it is : a city of stu-
pendous proportions, and rapidly growing ;
containing already tens of millions of deni-
zens ; the commercial emporium of a conti-
nent whereon dwell five hundred millions of
people.
New York City swung its arms around
New York Bay, and took it all into its
embrace.
Floating in the waters of this bay are
worthy bearers for the mighty commerce of
this port. From the Narrows around to the
Narrows again, the densely populated shore
is lined with structures that were built for
use, for safety and for comfort on the water.
120 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
Interspersed with river craft are those of quite
another form and size, and built as differently
from river craft as an ocean is differenj: from
a river.
Touching at intervals the shore around
the bay, and touching Manhattan Island at
various points, these sea-going and seaworthy
conveyances are receiving and discharging
mankind and merchandise. All these ocean
vehicles have to encounter the same bois-
terous Atlantic Ocean, and they are all of a
similar shape and size. They are just large
enough for safety where the elements are
fiercest. A greater magnitude than that is
not required, and who could now be satisfied
with anything less?
In the ignorance and weakness of the
world's youth, of course, mankind was forced
to endure hardships. But as the world gath-
ered strength it gathered the means of ob-
taining the comforts of life. And thus many
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 121
hardships were swept away by inventors. In
the latter part of the nineteenth century one
arose and inquired : Wherefore the necessity
of enduring the last and greatest of all hard-
ships when easy ships might be built to take
the place of the hard ships?
Mankind soon built an easy ship, and called
the easy ship a Toto.
We will go on board a Toto, and see what
it is.
In passing from the solid ground to the
Toto, we pass from a city on land to a neat
little city on water. The buildings are not
so high, and there are other differences to be
described.
We enter the floating little city by its cen-
tral thoroughfare, and walk straight on to the
other end. The distance is only 600 yards.
But in traversing these cross streets we are
particularly struck with the breadth of the
Toto, for it is half its length. Its horizontal
129 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
boundary line is oval. The Toto is very
nearly level, and might be called a gigantic
raft. But a raft is a crude affair, and this is
not. Other considerations lead us to think
of the Toto as a great ferry-boat. It is a
ferry-boat worthy of its line ! How solid and
firm the structure beneath our feet ! Is there
anything here that would give way in a
storm? Are we shut up within the walls of
a paltry ship, "cabined, cribbed, confined,"
breathing the foul air which forms the all-
pervading spirit of a tipsy vessel ? No ; we
walk these open streets as we would tread
Broadway. When we are out at sea we
shall get a smell of the ocean, sometimes
a sight, but not a taste! not a taste of the
filthy brine!
The Toto appears to the mind at first to
be of a prodigious length, but in reality the
most prodigious dimension of the Toto is
its width, and not its length. When vessels
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 123
400 or 500 feet long were built in great
numbers, it would have required only four
of those 500 feet vessels in one straight line
to exceed the length of the Toto. To fill
out the width, and cover an area of water
equal to that covered by the Toto, quite a
number more would have been required. But
there were plenty of them. The twenty thou-
sand vessels afloat in 1877, if massed into
groups of the size of a Toto, would have
shown the ability of mankind at that period
to have constructed, not merely one Toto,
but many Totos.
All great structures, the vast bridges, tow-
ering buildings, etc., do not seem so gigantic
when built as they do beforehand, when we
contemplate their proposed enormous dimen-
sions in figures. Everything outdoors appears
more tremendous when considered indoors
than it does when we go out and look upon
it. Outdoors we see it in its natural position,
134 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
we get a correct idea of its real size ; that
is, its relative bigness. Comparing it with
its surroundings, no great bridge ever seems
too large ; we are beholding it in its ele-
ment. When we behold the Toto in its
element, far from land, and compare it with
its surroundings will it seem too large?
No, indeed !
Cities upon land extend for miles in length
and miles in breadth, while this little city is
only 600 yards in length and 300 yards in
breadth, only one-eighteenth of a square
mile.
Let us go to the lower end of Manhattan
Island, the point of New York City which
used to be called the Battery, and go on
board the Toto there. Totos are mainly
alike, but that one is at a point of historic
interest.
We go.
Here we are, where Castle Garden used
MR. GfffM'S DREAM. 125
to loom up, in the gloiy of its rotundity
looking far more formidable than the Battery
which crouched behind it. This is the place
where Jenny Lind sang, rendering Castle
Garden one of the scenes of story and song.
It became the very first objective point of
many travellers from foreign lands. The
Battery faded and brightened, and faded
again until it brightened up with a new
light when from this spot the first and only
original Toto took its new departure to
gladden the vision of the assembled millions
who saw it going and coming. America
saw it going, and England afterward saw it
coming. All England would rather have
walked to their Land's End than to have
missed that sublime spectacle. But the sight
is too common now to be remarkable.
What is a new city, in any land, after one has
seen a hundred ? What is a new city on the
water after one has seen a hundred? When
126 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
this old land was new, however, when it was
Young America, the Toto was said to be a
" big thing." It was an elephant, some de-
clared. It was a whale, thought others.
But the elephant, when trained, was appre-
ciated. The whale was valuable, and not a
man was taken into that whale who did not
come out again in a few days, without even
having been sick in the stomach.
We find that very little iron is used in
the construction of the Toto. There is
some, but not a great deal. There is more
than would be sufficient to make one steel
pen, but not so much that any person would
ever think of saying that the Toto is built
of iron. The principal material is much
lighter, yet very tough and durable. It is a
substance which for a long time was manu-
factured only in sheets, forming an article
remarkably strong for its thickness, and called
paper. When its utility jumped from simple
MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
127
paper to car-wheels, taking in small boats on
the way, it was found suitable for convey-
ances of any size, by land or water, from the
smallest toy to the support of a ponderous
railroad train ; from paper boats to a Toto
on paper.
These houses on the Toto are built of
chemically prepared wood, and will not burn.
So are the pavements. Every material com-
prising any portion of the Toto is incom-
bustible. Whatever was by nature inciner-
able has been so treated that combustion is
impossible. No person even who is liable
to spontaneous combustion has ever succeeded
in getting on board a Toto now we may
be sure that all fire is amply guarded against.
When standing on any one of the streets
of the Toto, we may say we are on deck
Standing on the flat roof which extends over,
each block of houses, we may say we are on
the promenade-deck, As the freest winds
128 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
are harmless to the strong Toto, it has noth-
ing that could rightly be termed a hurricane-
deck. The portion of the Toto beneath the
houses and streets may be called the hold.
In the space down there the Toto carries
merchandise: up here, in airy houses, people.
The hold is reached through capacious open-
ings in the courtyard of each block, the
street pavements being left unbroken for
travel.
How is the Toto steered ? How is the rud-
der of so ponderous a vessel swung? From
a pilot-house located well forward, in the top
of a tower, the Toto is guided, easily guided,
yielding readily to the touch of one man, for
his arm is aided by a mechanical appliance
a thousand arms strong. As the little finger
of an organ player can thrill the mightiest
instrument of music if aided by mechanical
power, so can the arm of a pilot sway the helm
of the mightiest instrument of travel. The
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 129
Great Eastern was easily steered by one
finger, with the assistance of a steam con-
trivance. There is no difficulty in steering a
Toto.
All of the houses (except the lofty pilot-
house) are of a uniform height ; the flat
roofs are alike ; and thus each square is fitly
topped off with a promenade-deck. Here
are chairs for those who wish to sit ; here
is space for those who wish to walk ; and
here is a railing around.
Hotels comprise a large portion of the
houses on the Toto. Every house is crammed.
But the cool sea breeze will play around and
into and through them with such a ventilat-
ing effect, it will wholly dispel the obnoxious
ideas pertaining * to a crammed house on
land. A hotel quietly standing on the
heated earth and a hotel carried forward
over the cool sea differ widely. People
huddle together by instinct whenever the air
130 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
is cool, to obtain comfortable warmth. And
here upon the Toto, what if every house is
crammed full ? " The more the merrier ! ''
Crowd on, young hearts, crowd on, and we
will keep each other warm. We shall not
need to clutch a wet railing, or put our arms
around a cold mast, or hug an iron capstan,
to save our lives, and after all embrace each
other in dying misery ; but, glowing with the
perennial life of health and happiness and
security, we shall throng the streets of the
Toto by day, and pack ourselves into its
houses at night with a nearness that will be
comfortable and cosy.
These streets will not be obstructed by
teams after the Toto has started. Vehicles
will not be needed in this little city. There
will be plenty of room for human locomotion.
We notice but one apothecary shop in
town. The invigorating effect of the sea air
will be so potent it will tone up every system
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 131
to a physical point where physic will not be
required.
The climate is so salubrious on the Toto
at sea that the rate of mortality is very
small. In every town of this size, of course,
deaths will sometimes occur ; yet this little city
is so delightfully healthy that its population
is generally larger at the end of the passage
than at the beginning. There are six jolly
doctors on board, to one cadaverous under-
taker and one forlorn druggist.
The sea air is so stimulating that no greater
stimulation is desired, and the happiness of
a journey on the Toto is so intoxicating
that no sublimer intoxication is possible.
Every one admits this openly. Therefore,
upon the Toto there are no grog-shops visible
to the naked eye. No one but a person
under the strain of arduous duties will be
expected to need the aid of inebriation. The
only man supposed to drink whiskey is the
pilot.
i 3 a MR. GHIATS DREAM.
Every Toto has a name, and this one's
name is Jonah.
We are to cross the Atlantic on this Toto.
In a few days we shall walk off into another
republic.
During the whole passage we need not
see the ocean if we choose not. But, under
the circumstances, we shall delight to see it.
Every day we shall take a stroll to the
suburbs to see the sea. People who are so
fortunate as to occupy those elegant houses
upon the border of the Toto can view the
ocean from their windows, but the rest of
us will often walk out to that elliptical
street on which those houses front, and there
we shall look out upon the "gray and mel-
ancholy waste," and listen to its grand and
ceaseless roar. It will not seem so gray
and melancholy as it did to some who lived
before us.
Noah did not have a Toto. Notwith-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
'33
standing it took him 120 years to build his
structure, an ark 450 feet in length, seven-
ty-five in width, and forty-five in height, was
a smaller thing than some of the vessels
that were bobbing around in 1877. How-
ever huge for Noah's day of small things, it
would seem small for this day of huge
things. The Toto is of quite a different shape
as well as size. And it ought to be. The
water which Noah encountered was mostly
from above ; the water we encounter is
mostly underneath ; so we can have plenty
of ventilation without water in ours.
Through the Narrows our ocean vehicle
can reach the ocean from the bay without
difficulty; and it might with even another
Toto on each side, for a Toto is only one-
sixth the width of the Narrows, and the
water is of immense depth.
Here we go, sailing out through this deep
strait, meeting and passing another Toto in
the narrowest part of the Narrows.
i 3 4 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
The shallowest point in the whole channel
from New York to the sea is no less than
22 feet deep at low tide. And this is a soft
bottom. If the channel at any point were
not deep enough for the Toto, it could be
made deep enough ! and kept deep enough !
In the Narrows the depth of water ranges
from 40 to 116 feet at low tide.
We steadily advance, emerging from the
lower bay, and moving out so quietly upon
that rolling prairie of water that we seem to
be borne along on a floating island, a thickly
populated little island, which grows smaller
and smaller in appearance, even to us who
are upon it, as we are carried further and
further out upon the broad field of the sea.
Any given distance looks so much less
upon the water than upon the land, that the
dimensions of the Toto out here on the
water do not seem so great as we had
naturally supposed. Gaining permission to
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 135
go up that tower to the pilot-house, we first
look out upon the Toto, then around upon
the ocean, and this structure looks much
smaller than we could ever have imagined
a structure to appear when it is 600 yards
long and 300 yards wide. Too big? It
looks almost too little !
What moves the Toto? This is the most
important question pertaining to it ? When
it was first put, it was in this form : What
can move the Toto ? Many pronounced the
query unanswerable. They said that the
Toto could be built, but never could be oper-
ated. The author of the Toto anticipated
their objection, and met it squarely before-
hand, in this way : If a small object can be
moved through water by mechanical power,
it only needs great mechanical power to
move a great object. Even less proportional
power is required to drive a large vessel
than a small one of the same shape.
136 MR. GfffM'S DREAM.
The Toto is not of the same shape ; a
broad structure moves through water at a
disadvantage regarding power ; but what is
that compared to the immeasurable advan-
tage of safety and comfort! Whatever
amount of power is requisite to move the
Toto, the power can be supplied. There
is nothing so great, which man can put
together, but man can move it by steam.
A large aggregation of matter only requires a
large aggregation of power to move it. Steam
will move the Toto. If any superior motor
shall be devised in the future, the Toto will
use it, whether it be cold vapor, warm heat,
spiritualism, wet dryness, perfect fluid, sunlight,
moonshine, wave motion, will power, yeast,
natural affinity, slander, the tide, the ballot,
perpetual motion, woman suffrage, odd force,
or any other odd force. But steam is adequate
to the propulsion of any bulk through the
readily yielding fluid water. When the Toto
MR. GJTSM'S DREAM. 137
is ready to start, we will brighten up those
jolly fires below, wake up the screw propellers
to a lively sense of duty, get up a revolution
among them, and travel by the method of pro-
pulsion now in vogue swimming ahead by
twisting the heels. We might have sails, with
no fear that the wind would tip us over ; but
the appliances for sails would be cumbersome ;
we shall use steam. A few halting minds will
still doubt that the Toto will ever move. Let
their conservative souls be harried by the re-
flection that their greatest grandfathers thought
it absurd to suppose that steam could move
the smallest vessel ; ridiculous to entertain the
notion that we could burn black stones to
warm our houses, and a mere gas to light
them ; folly to believe that we could ever send
a message to a distant land with lightning
speed. The world moves and the world is a
great deal larger than the Toto. The world of
thought moves. The power that moves it
138 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
now will move it in the future, continuing its
progress through all time. Ability which put
the first small ship upon its course is working
yet, and will discover means to satisfy man's
growing wants. The field of invention has
not been trampled down. Vast plains of im-
provement are barely touched. Rising in par-
tial obscurity, loom gigantic mountains yet to
be scaled, whose peaks will be carved by
explorers into enduring monuments of fame.
Our descendants will not envy us for having
lived in so apt an age for invention ; the
greatest results of searching thought are yet to
come ; the brightest pages in the history of
mankind's progress will be written in the
future. Nature is inexhaustible. The Toto
shall move, as truly as Galileo's earth moved.
The many who doubted that were ancestors of
those who will doubt this. Builders of bob-
bing things called ships, now let us have a
Toto!
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 139
That was in 1877.
When the leaven had worked sufficiently
the Toto was forthcoming, and its success
when once upon the ocean was immediate,
going beyond the greatest expectations of
conservatives and flush with the highest
hopes of enthusiastic builders. The Toto
was so thoroughly unique in its design,
bringing with it such a new departure from
all previous modes of travelling, that its advent
was the event of the century.
O, that day ! when the first Toto moved !
Moved from New York to cross the ocean !
What multitudes pressed to the Battery,
crammed every street for miles above,
covered every hill slope, commanding a
view of the bay ! Millions were gath-
ered within that horizon ! Square miles
of people ! Humans in groups of countless
hundreds of thousands, all with their hearts
full, looked upon that sight, and wept. The
140 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
sensation was too intense for calm and cold
endurance. It was a stirring, swelling, rous-
ing motive, which nothing less than the
pageantry of war could rival. And this was
a peaceful accomplishment, undeniably worthy,
and solidly useful. The shining emblems of
the glory of refined barbarity, modern war,
plated savagery, which rears itself in triumph
over desolation and deadness and sadness,
did not glitter here. To act the studied part
of gaudy splendor would not have height-
ened the simple majesty of this occasion.
Its grandeur rose above all meretricious
adornment. The noble spirit of Destruction,
with all the prestige of its honored prow-
ess, with all its pride of the homage paid
to its usefulness in the past, began to per-
ceive that its mission among enlightened
people was waning ; the world at last was
uniting, nations were understanding each
other, and all were becoming engrossed by
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 141
the nobler spirit of Construction. This
country had just emerged from a labor
crisis. Unemployed thousands of men, in
these hard times, had run the risky gauntlet
of vagrancy on one hand and useless over-
production on the other, till hoarded capital
in abundance was poured out for their em-
ployment in building a Toto. That was a
move toward thrift, a successful move toward
instant thrift, restoring the equilibrium of labor
at once by commencing this urgently needed
work. Enforced idleness was relieved ; wast-
ing lives were turned to account ; and the
darkness of that peculiarly dangerous juncture
passed away. The domain of work had now
been enlarged ; every man had something to
do ; all were earning and spending money ;
business arose like the sun rising into a clear
day ; the nation prospered again. The first
swim of the first Toto brought the grand holi-
day! There was universal joy. Every buoy-
142 MR. GHIATS DREAM.
ant nature felt inspired, and every nature for
the nonce was buoyant. Gladness reigned.
Usefulness had won! The Toto at last ex-
isted, and was majestically moving upon its
course, beginning its career of unexampled
usefulness ! As millions of eyes gazed upon
that sublime spectacle, millions of hearts were
wrought up till those eyes could see no longer.
The greatness of the event was too impressive
for stolid indifference. All were bright, gay,
jubilant. And more : Their minds were ex-
panded, strengthened, ennobled. Up into the
realm of useful endeavor, profitable work,
noble enterprise, every soul was lifted by the
achievement those millions beheld. They saw
the token of a new era dawning. The ease of
travel now across the rough Atlantic, the
mingling of all the peoples of Europe in their
suddenly augmented flow through every inter-
vening country to reach the Toto, their
friendly communion everywhere in drifting
MR. GfffM'S DREAM. 143
back to their homes, the healthful mixture of
every shade of opinion and feeling as the result
of this new impetus to travel, the mental ex-
pansion, the enlightenment, the sweeping
away of old prejudices, the real progress, the
improvement of the intellect, was to elevate
the tone of the world, create a community of
interests, unite all lands by centering their pro-
gressive thought upon one great object. The
Toto in mid-ocean was a hyphen connecting
the Old world with the New. It had drawn
upon itself the attention of every civilized
nation possessing a sea-coast, and in their com-
bined scrutiny of this one object, and their
united admiration of its worth, all dropped the
less worthy enterprises of wholesale human
destruction, and devoted their surplus energies
to the construction of Totos. Idle display was
flung to the winds, and works of usefulness
commenced. The new ear was begun.
On that memorable day, when the first
144 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
Toto was moving, was gliding seaward the
focus of glances by millions, and there were
flowing toward it the acclamations of that
host, that measureless array of gazers from
hilltops above hilltops and the Jersey and
island shores, there was also flowing through
countless brains a little rhyme; not poetry,
but rhyme :
This is the Toto which Vanderbilt built,
Which Vanderbilt built,
Which Vanderbilt built,
Built to advance mankind !
He answered the people's unanimous call,
In misery all,
Replete with gall,
Needing a ship of this kind.
Seasick and perishing thousands cried out;
He heard the shout,
He brought this about,
Taking a hint not the slyest.
His wonderful genius for organization
And administration
Moved every nation,
Lifting America highest!
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 145
When he enlisted ;he men and the means
He wrought such scenes
As kings and queens
And angels came to see ;
Honoring this above all other lands
With ocean sands;
And now it stands
Peerless regarding the sea!
The Toto's a vessel that's strong and staunch
From root to branch;
And with it we launch
An era no man can stop.
Here on this day it is plainly shown,
And soon will be known
From zone to zone,,
This side of the globe is the top /
Of course there was a great deal of poetry
also floating around in those times, upon the
same subject.
Now we are travelling splendidly. All on
board are comfortable, and are safe, albeit on
the ocean. There is nothing flimsy about
this conveyance for the sea. This is no
i 4 6 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
flighty basket in the air. We are not at
the mercy of fickle currents of wind. We
are not sailing off promiscuously among
the stars, a little globe of our own. We
are making the most of our advantages
in taking the water for a support, instead
of overlooking that matter, getting above
such a thing, kiting away from our sphere,
roaming an uncomfortable region, hung high
in the air to a bag of gas, a thing that
may easily break, turning aeronauts into
aerolites, compelling them to end their fast
trip in a life-boat, sailing vertically from
the sky to the sea. A balloon is a grand
plaything, and people may go to sea with
that conveyance without being seasick ; but,
for the multitude to travel with the least
expense and with the greatest comfort, it is
manifestly safer as well as cheaper to take
the best foundation obtainable. For travel-
ling over land it is the earth itself, and for
MR. GffSM'S DREAM. 147
travelling over the sea it is the water. The
ground will freely support the heaviest bas-
ket or car. The air will not furnish such
support ; costly means are required to hold
it up. Therefore any method of traversing
the upper regions must be at a disadvan-
tage.
The Toto is substantial. Its advance is
sure. There is no conceivable obstacle.
The winds? We need not fear that any
wind which will ever blow can tip over this
great raft, or injure a fibre of its solid sub-
stance.
The waves? At the touch of the Toto
the highest waves fall, and the hardy swim-
mer glides over their soft and loose and
yielding bodies easily.
But the rocks? Will not the Toto run
upon unyielding rocks, and will not the
sharp rocks puncture the life out of the
Toto? Impossible. If the Toto should by
148 . MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
accident become unmanageable, and be car-
ried astray, the monster could not be demol-
ished by anything it met. Of course the
Toto is built in water-tight sections, that a
leak in any part would not ingulf the whole.
A ship of the old style might be divided
into any number of water-tight compart-
ments, yet what were they, all united, but
simply one ? It was but one poor, weak,
light, paltry thing, to be tossed about upon
the water as a unit, with all its united com-
partments. A single wave could grasp it,
and the whole was gone ! One billow could
seize it as though it were a bubble, and lift
it high, and fling it, one whole toy, upon the
jagged rocks, every compartment then divid-
ing and subdividing, all together dashing and
crashing into the scattered flinders of a com-
plete wreck! But the Toto could not be
thus acted upon. If haply it were disabled,
it would merely drift ; slowly drift ; quietly
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 149
drift. The ocean could not concentrate suf-
ficient power to destroy it. No billow could
lift it, no wave could sink it, no iceberg
could crush it. The monster would steadily
drift ; and, wherever it might float, there is
not a rock that could destroy it. The Toto
would drift until it touched, and there it
would stay until its constitutional disabilities
were removed, when its course could be
directed elsewhere. If the gigantic vessel
were madly driven with all its force upon
the hugest rock, and one of its compart-
ments wholly smashed, yet the wounded mon-
ster would remain not a thing to be flung
away by the angry Neptune even then. Or
if, peradventure, the Toto should blindly rush
into collision with another Toto, still the two
great fellows could not annihilate each other
with one blow. Always retaining such im-
mense strength in reserve, the vast resources
of each would enable it to live and move.
J5o MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
It would not die by one stroke, however
crippled.
Here upon the Toto we cannot but think
of the way our early fathers travelled : sail-
ing on a quiet river or a placid lake in a
thing which the ripples could not in the
least disturb, yet bobbing out upon the sea
in a shell that a single wave might over-
power.
And now we are ready to answer in a
thoroughly practical manner the fervid old
conundrum :
"Why do the roaring ocean
And the night wind, cold and bleak,
As they beat at the heart of the mother,
Drive the color from her cheek ? "
Simply because when the bleak winds blow so,
Her boy at sea is not on a Toto.
In this connection we bethink ourselves
of another puzzling newspaper paragraph we
read in the olden time :
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 151
"A sea stove in the bark Mary Jane let the water
into her; and she went to the bottom."
People in reading that used to ask what
sort of a thing a sea stove was, and how it
let the water in. The idea that human beings
would go to sea in a structure so frail that
the sea could stave it in, was incredible to
some people, and yet it was true. The nu-
merous wrecks in those times caused the
people to send out fearful howls as well as
dreadful barks ; they issued more than five
thousand barks before there was one Toto.
As we move steadily forward on the ocean,
and distance begins to lend enchantment to
the view of the land we are leaving, our
thoughts embrace the far-off time when a ves-
sel called the Great Eastern was launched
upon the sea. We remember what was then
considered its immensity, and how we laughed.
We remember, too, how we marvelled at its
non-success as a passenger vessel. But now,
152 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
when we have climbed to the top of our house
upon the Toto, stepped out upon its level
roof, and taken chairs for an hour to enjoy the
delicious breeze from the watery plain before
us, we think the matter over, and we seem to
see the cause of the Great Easterns failure:
As human beings are slow to risk themselves
where they think the chances of life are doubt-
ful, it is not strange that a larger vessel than
usual of the old-fashioned shape appeared un-
wieldy, and therefore unsafe. What a contrast
between that great little thing and this !
When we look around upon the Toto, and see
the breadth as well as length, giving it the
appearance as well as the fact of solidity and
strength ; when we think what an area is cov-
ered by this level giant, rendering the waves
puny in comparison and powerless, we no
longer wonder that people were shy of a mon-
ster of the old shape, whose size made it only
look cumbersome without adding to its safety.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 153
The Toto is a horse of a different color, and
carries every one without fear.
We are now well out upon the Atlantic ;
not " half seas over," nor anything like it,
but we are making steady progress ; and the
question arises, not "To be or not to be?"
as it used to, nor " How long will it take
to get across ? " but " How long will this
delightful trip last ? " The fleetest vessels
used to cross the Atlantic in nine days.
Occasionally one would make a quicker pas-
sage ; the steamer City of Berlin arrived in
New York, Sept. 25, 1875, in 7 days and 18
hours from Queenstown ; and returned in 7
days, 15 hours; and 48 minutes, actual time,
from New York to Queenstown ; but the
usual time for the fastest steamers was nine
days. Those nine days, trien and there,
seemed longer than nine weeks would, now
and here. So we are not in a hurry. With
the comforts of a sea-voyage on the Toto,
154 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
the urgent desire for swift-sailing vessels
ended. Naturally enough. Put a man in a
nice place, and he is not in a hurry to leave
it ; the Toto is a nice place to spend a few
weeks, and mankind are not in a hurry to
leave it We may be three weeks on the
way. They will be the pleasantest three
weeks of our lives. If it were desired to
make a quicker passage, the Toto could take
us across in nine days, or even less. But
we should have to pay the Toto much
moneys. For nothing is so expensive as
speed. It costs a great deal to keep even
one man going if he is fast And in every
kind of locomotion in every body through-
out the universe, whatever is gained in speed
is lost in power. To a body moving through
water, the resistance increases with the speed
in a compound ratio. That is, unless the
theory of " stream lines " proves that water
offers no resistance to bodies moving through
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 155
it. In which case, it will only be necessary
to substitute some other word for. "resist-
ance." It certainly requires power to push
the smoothest vessel through the most "per-
fect fluid." As matter in every other form
offers resistance to the passage of bodies
through it (in addition to friction), it seems
as though if water does not it ought to.
Air is a much lighter fluid than water, 800
times lighter, yet the resistance of mere air,
in a tornado, is greater than the power of
man to walk against it. Is it mere friction ?
By giving the Toto a large share of our
back pay, he would put us through the waves
to Europe quickly. But we are not running
away from our own country ; we do not care
to make the journey in a shorter time than
three weeks. With comfottable houses to
live in, pleasant streets to travel in, a boule-
vard around the whole, where we may walk,
talk, run, play, sit, sing, think, drink, wink,
'56 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
blink, go to the brink, and never sink, nor
shrink why, we are living atthe seaside!
We do not want to hasten away. We
have gone to a watering-place to spend a
few weeks. No matter if it should be two
months. We are happy. We are tranquil
We are not jeopardizing our lives. We
are not even imperilling our equanimity.
We are not seeking health and finding none.
We are not studying geometry by walking
up and down an inclined plane, or studying
natural philosophy to know how to do it.
We are moving in a bee-line, with friendly
stomachs, cheerful faces, placid tempers, light
hearts, untroubled bodies, and contented
souls. This is all due to the Toto.
The Toto has been so great a boon to
emigrants galore, that here and now and
often every day upon the Toto we hear their
voices rising by the thousand as they sing
the grand old song:
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. . 157
" We are out on an ocean sailing,
Homeward bound we smoothly glide ;
We are out on an ocean sailing,
To a home beyond the tide !
" Millions now are safely landed
Over on the golden shore ;
Millions more are on their journey,
Yet there's room for millions more ! "
Before the Toto came into being, away
back there in the nineteenth century, when
the idea of building a Toto was first suggest-
ed, what a stir it created ! The very idea
touched the world like a bombshell. Many
believed the whole thing had exploded into
a million fragments. And so it had ; but it
had done its work.
At first, like all new enterprises, it met
conservative criticism. Fogies declared that
to build a Toto was too great an under-
taking : but the masses of this progressive
people began to compare the undertaking
with Neptune's undertaking, and decided to
158 MR. GHIATS DREAM.
favor the Toto. Knowing ones called the
idea a mere speculation. Sellers told buyers
" There's millions in it !" Unbelievers went
down into their grave graves, taking the old
hulks along with 'them, gravely singing
" Hold on ; don't give up the ship for the
Toto." Some would not give up the ship,
and the ship gave up them. Nothing less
than a Toto was suitable for crossing the
ocean. Until the advent of the Toto, every
ship had been called feminine, a she. They
were all weaker vessels, and never should
have been put to such hard work as many
of them had to undergo. Poor things,
their powers of endurance were tested beyond
all reasonable bounds, and they lost their
lives, many of them. Ah ! too small-waisted,
too fragile and frail, were those weaker ves-
sels. A stronger vessel came. The Toto
was a he ! Neptune and he agreed with
each other immediately, and have had no
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 159
trouble since. With the other vessels, there
was frequently a general falling out.
When it was decided to build a Toto, and
builders mooted a way to build it, some de-
clared it a problem. It proved to be no
problem at all. A simple granite mole was
built, in the form of a letter U, the two
ends running out into the water; then, with
a coffer-dam connecting the two ends, and
the water pumped out, nothing was easier
than to build the Toto inside of this im-
mense dry dock. When it was finished they
removed the coffer-dam, and the boat was
ready to start, like any ferry-boat from its U
shaped dock.
Behold that gracefully sweeping line of
houses on the Toto, facing its outer street,
extending around the diminutive city, three-
quarters of a mile, a curvilinear row of the
best hotels and private dwellings. All front-
ing directly upon the ocean, all possess a
160 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
location which is superb. Every one looks
pleasantly down on the water. Their faces
are lines of beauty, perfect curves, and are
lovely. Neptune tries his best to kiss them,
but he never succeeds. He dances around
before them all ; he is as fascinatingly grace-
ful as the monster can be ; now and then he
reaches up as high as he can, but they hold
up their faces higher, refusing his eager ad-
vances, quietly mocking the old fellow's pre-
sumptuous rudeness. They seem to like it,
too, and sweetly smile upon him constantly.
Well, they are too good for him, and he
knows it if he knows anything. But he
seems always yearning toward them, and
they return his every glance, in a harmless
kind of flirtation. There is very little love
lost between them.
Every room in every house on the Toto
is lighted by gas, and in winter is warmed
by steam from one common source of sup-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 161
ply. The system of sewerage resembles that
of a city on land. Ingeniously constructed
valves at the outlets prevent the inward flow
of the waves. Comfort and cleanliness are
well provided for. The Toto is a pleasant
little city to dwell in. During the summer
it is agreeably cool, and in winter warmer
than the cold cities on land, for the gr$at
body of water beneath it maintains a more
equable temperature than the great body of
baking and freezing dirt on which mankind
chiefly resides.
In former times people all resided on the
land, only one-fourth of the surface of the
globe, regarding the other three-fourths as a
carriage-way, on which they could generally
cross from one continent to another, by
jouncing along all the way. When a ca-
tastrophe occurred on the road, all whom it
did not silence forever it petrified for a
time, in their amazement that the little bit
1 62 MR, GHIM'S DREAM.
of a thing they had sent out to jolt over
that rough road to Europe, had gone to
smash. It seemed strange that so nice a
little carriage, made expressly, put together
so closely, water-tight in every part, well
painted, varnished, garaished, provided with
the richest upholstery, could start for Europe
and come to naught. And they sent out
another just like her.
A majority of the people on the Toto
are passengers, but there are persons who
have lavished money on apartments for the
summer. And there are others so charmed
with a life on the ocean wave in a mascu-
line ship, they enjoy its delights the year
round.
Little did the builders of the first Toto
surmise what an institution they founded.
Enthusiastic as they were, it was impossible
for any mortal man in that day to grasp the
whole breadth of the future in his freest con-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 163
ception ; the reality outruns the wildest esti-
mates of those who favored progress on the
ocean. They put upon the sea a Toto ; no
lesser article would satisfy existing wants.
Looking beyond, they could not measure or
conjecture the entire sweep of its useful-
ness; they could only see the future grandly
growing !
Now let us take a backward leap from
the distant future, and view the subject from
the standpoint of our time.
The Toto is the coming ship. No pro-
gressive man will doubt it, upon reflection.
Conservatives will treat the matter with
scorn. So be it. Even the most advanced
and practical of thinking minds will receive
the startling idea with a grin; but calcula-
tion will remove all doubt concerning the
feasibility of the plan.
164 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
The advent of the Toto will be an epoch,
beginning the glorious era of man's reign
over Neptune. Until that time, Neptune
will reign over man. But the change is to
occur. Whether the people of this gener-
ation shall honor themselves by that grand
event, or allow it to slip into the hands of
those who are to come with outstretched
fingers ready to grasp it, let this generation
determine. The world's widening future will
certainly take it in. Shall the present age
neglect a grand opportunity? The Toto is
conceived, and the time is coming when it
will surely be produced. The world's long
future, without a Toto, would be a dismal
future indee'd. If the existing peril and misery
of ocean travel were perpetuated through all
coming time, what a progressive people
would traverse this planet !
A railroad across the American continent,
3,000 miles, was built, and has become in-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 165
dispensable. When easy transit across the
Atlantic Ocean is attained, it will likewise
be regarded as indispensable. Constructing
that long railroad to California has obviated
the misery of a sea-voyage around to that
distant region. If a railroad for a like pur-
pose in the other direction to Europe-
were practicable, it would undoubtedly be
constructed. A railroad extending 3,000 miles
does not seem too great an undertaking,
though the average cost of 3,000 miles of
railway, in this country, is $165,348,000. But,
instead of a structure 3,000 miles in length,
a neat little thing only 600 yards long and
300 yards wide will be sufficient for the pur-
pose of crossing the ocean steadily, and will
be infinitely safer than any railroad ever built
in any land. Three thousand miles of rail-
way comprise a much greater structure than
it seems in actually looking at it, for only a
small portion is visible at any one point of
1 66 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
observation. It is an immensely long structure,
much longer than the Toto. The Toto is
wider, but the width of the Toto is not nearly
so great in proportion, as the length of the
railroad. If 3,000 miles of railway, with all
its appurtenances, were massed together, piled
up on a piece of ground 600 yards long and
300 yards wide, the greatness of that bulk
would be astounding! The amount of ma-
terial used in 3,000 miles of railway, together
with its shops and stations and grand central
depots and rolling stock and paraphernalia,
if it could all be seen in one huge pile,
would be so enormous that even the Toto
would look petty beside it. Yet that im-
mense pile of railway iron and wood, &c.,
costing over 165,000,000 of dollars, would
represent only 3,000 miles of railway, while
railways in this country alone have in some
recent years been increasing at the rate
of 8,000 miles a year, at an expense of more
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 167
than $400,600,000 a year! In the United
States we have now 73,000 miles of railway ;
let us have 600 yards of Toto.
Place it upon that most important route,
that route which is necessarily travelled a
great deal now in spite of its discomforts,
and the easy-going Toto on that extensively
used ferry will be the right masculine in
the right place.
The ocean telegraph was a worthy and
noble undertaking. Millions were ventured
in support of the doubtful project, the un-
certain enterprise became a grand success,
and now for several years men have been
shooting their ideas across the ocean. Dur-
ing those same years many of the same
men have betaken themselves to the other
side. Some have not been able to get
half way across; most have succeeded, after
a fashion (and what a fashion !) in reaching
the destination they desired. But think
1 68 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
what they have all been doing on the
way : Extolling the merits of the ocean
cable, thinking what a grand advance had
been made by man at the bottom of the
sea, yet never thinking what a grander ad-
vance might be made by man at the top
of the sea. Glad of such a good way to
get their thoughts carried, while despairing
of any good way to get their bodies and
souls carried. Progressive age!
It is only a few years since the ocean
telegraph was undertaken and sneered at as
impossible, yet now there are more than
50,000 miles of submarine telegraph in
use.
Public buildings grow more stupendous ;
ocean steamers merely increase in number ;
the largest are mere trifles in a storm. One
of the many passenger lines across the
Atlantic numbers twenty-seven steamers.
If all the dead ships could be raised from
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 169
their deep graves, it would be found that
more materials were used in their construction
than would have sufficed to build a dozen
Totos; and there is money enough likewise
at the bottom of the sea to have furnished
them all more sumptuously than any first-
class steamship extant above the waves. The
legion of vessels lost are beyond redemption.
A multitude of living ships are going in the
old road to destruction. Ships are now
building in the same old way ; thousands of
vessels are at this moment taking the old
form ; thousands more are yet to be built,
in the scattered little shipyards of the world,
upon the same old fatal pattern, endowed
with that same weakness that has proved so
often frailty, and launched upon the roughest
tide of life, to meet with premature death.
If a housebuilder saw his house sink into
the earth, he would build no more houses
without considering well the foundation.
170 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
Builders of vessels, consider the foundation,
and adapt the structure to it. Spread. Noth-
ing narrow will hold its own upon a soft
base. It is the widest and flattest weight
which will sink the least and stand the firmest,
on a foundation which is moist and soft.
The ocean is moist and soft. Width, width
is required in anything that would float
securely upon it.
Were a Toto now plying the ocean be-
tween America and Europe, where are the
fogies who would seek to place an injunction
upon its movements? Who would wish to
destroy its usefulness, give up the splendor
of its greatness, lose forever the glory
its presence would reflect upon mankind ?
Where live the people who would prefer
that there were no such structure, that they
themselves should be compelled to use the
means of transit in vogue before the Toto
existed ? Who is the public-spirited man
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 171
who would argue in favor of going back to
the old, ridiculous method, painfully bobbing
over the sea ? What nation possessing a
Toto would throw away the boon ? What
great government, on building and operating
the first Toto, would not esteem it an honor,
and proudly point to that evidence of the
nation's advancement beyond every other
maritime nation on earth ? If these are
cogent reasons for holding on to the posses-
sion of a Toto when built, they are solid
arguments for building one. What great
land with an ocean rolling up to its borders
in loud defiance can stand the taunts of
Neptune any longer? or afford to be behind
in the coming struggle of nations for the
first honors in the warfare against the com-
mon enemy, Neptune ?
Neptune is a big, strong fellow, and he
wrestles with giant might, but the Toto can
stand it all. Neptune has a great round
i72 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
body, measuring 150,000,000 of square miles
upon its surface, while the Toto will cover
only one twenty-seven hundred millionth of
it, yet the Toto will endure all its upheav-
ings without getting agitated.
The work of building a Toto is not so
great as it might seem. Rearing an edifice
to be used upon land, if it were desired to
build the structure 600 yards long, builders
would erect it without any thought of diffi-
culty. Building a structure 600 yards by
300 yards, for the land or the sea, is only a
question of time. If the length were 600
feet, it would be plainly feasible, as the
Great Eastern is 680 feet. In building
a bridge or any structure on a large
scale, when it has been built 600 feet,
another 600 feet can be built, can it not ?
And another 600 feet can be added to it.
That is the entire length of the Toto. Its
width is only half.
MR. GfflM'S DREAM. 173
The means for building a Toto are
plentiful, and running to waste. So many
men are out of employment! So much
money is out of employment ! Money and
labor are the factors which carry out great
enterprises. They are now ready and waiting.
Not wanted anywhere, except in something
new. All the old industries are full, and
thousands of surplus workers are vainly
seeking employment Machinery has taken
the place of hand labor to such an extent
that hosts of persons are squeezed out of
every industrial pursuit. New enterprises
must be opened up. Great enterprises. Now
is the time for the largest enterprises to be in-
augurated, for the means of carrying them
forward are now most painfully yearning to
be used. They have built many cities,
large and small ; they can certainly build
another. Just now they have nothing else
to do, and ache to build the floating little
174 MR - GHIM'S DREAM.
city, the Toto. If Chicago were burned down
again, they would build it again ; if the best
part of Boston were burned down again, up
they would build it again ; though either
task would be greater than building a Toto !
Men are suffering keenly for want of em-
ployment. Why shall not mechanics be fur-
nished with mechanical labor ? They are
told of unoccupied lands in the Western ter-
ritories, millions of acres ; but those millions
of acres are mostly mountain and desert;
nearly all the good land is now occupied.
Even were it not, agriculture affords little
pleasure and less profit to mechanics. They
feel no attraction toward unoccupied lands,
and surely the unoccupied lands can get
along without them. Unoccupied lands are
not suffering for their services, but wretch-
edly occupied oceans are.
Men of money, a vast deal of wretched-
ness will be prevented, on land as well as at
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 175
sea, by giving a host of men employment in
building a Toto. The project will always be
in order henceforth, and just now it is par-
ticularly timely.
Construct a Toto, and you virtually bridge
the ocean. That bridge will carry multitudes
of persons who would never otherwise go
across on account of the troubles and perils
of the voyage. We all "speak well of the
bridge that carries us safely over." And this
induces others to come. Build a Toto, and
ocean travel will be vastly increased.
The patronage of the very first Toto will
be equalled only by its capacity. Steamers
of the old style will be left in the lurch.
Travellers will flock to the Toto as they
would rush from any danger to safety. If
you choose to limit all persons on the great
structure to the space they now enjoy on a
first-class vessel, the capacity of a Toto will
be immense. And it would be easier than
176 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
on a rolling vessel to put up with the spacious-
ness of a coffin for sleeping purposes.
The feasibility of constructing a Toto will
not be arrived at by any one who considers
it merely an enlarged ship of the present
style. It is an entirely different structure.
Any person looking upon the huge black hull
of the Great Eastern or any other steamer, and
imagining a ship of that style, but of vastly
increased dimensions, would naturally shake
his head at the idea of building a boat so
big. And well he might, for such a boat
would not be practicable at all. It would
draw too much water, to begin with, and
for many other obvious reasons it would
not be suitable. The Toto is projected upon
a plan entirely new, with no reference to the
little old shipbuilding plan which has proved
such a perfect failure.
The great width of the Toto is a feature
which gives it immense advantage in the
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 177
matter of strength. A vessel of the present
long and narrow style is required to be built
of the most carefully selected materials of
the choicest quality, to give adequate strength
to the slim thing, which sometimes is dashed
to pieces. The Great Eastern, with 680 feet
of length, has only 70 feet of width except
at the paddle-boxes and the engines behind
them, where the width is 107 feet. Its length
enables it to travel smoothly when cutting
the waves at right angles, and even to cross
the waves diagonally with but little rocking.
But alas for the Great Eastern in the trough
of the sea ! It rolls prodigiously. Seldom
does it get into that predicament, but the
case has sometimes happened, and has proved
the impotence of even the mightiest ship
built upon the narrow principle. There is
not width enough to that greatest of old-fash-
ioned vessels to enable it to stand quietly
on the ocean when the waves are coming
178 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
broadside on. Then arises in the mind of
the passenger a statement of the facetious
ship-agent that lured him here : " Seasick-
ness is unknown on board this vessel."
The Toto will draw less water than some
would suppose. A vessel of the existing
narrow form, with its entire width tapering
down to a narrow keel, must extend deep
into the water ; but the Toto, broad at the
bottom, and for the most part flat, cannot be
pressed deep, unless excessively freighted.
It might be averred that the Toto is too
thin. That is, that the vertical thickness of
a structure spreading so wide, and not ex-
tending to a remarkable depth, would not
give it sufficient strength, and that a vessel
of the old style is really of a stouter form
than the widespreading Toto. This would
be true if the Toto were to proceed over
the water in the style of those vessels, rear-
ing and pitching, and rolling and plunging.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 179
If the Toto were to go cavorting over the
sea, tossed about like a chip, if one side
were to be lifted till the Toto stood at an
angle of 135 degrees with the surface of
the ocean, and then the other side were to
come up likewise, and so on, till the Toto
had crossed the ocean, there would be little
left of the Toto after such a shaking. But
as the Toto is a broad, level structure, it will
not be subject to such goings on. Neptune
can not play with the Toto. When Nep-
tune's bosom swells, he sometimes creates
waves a hundred feet broad, but the Toto
is broader still, and Neptune can never get
the Toto into the trough of the sea. Ves-
sels of the present narrow form are lifted
and lowered, and lifted and lowered, and
tipped and knocked, and kicked and shoved
and rolled from side to side between the
rolling waves for a vessel is narrower than a
wave ; but the Toto can never get caught
i8o MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
between the crests of two great billows, for
its width is so great it will extend across
nine of them ; and its length, when crossing
them at right angles, will cover eighteen of
those ruffles on Neptune's bosom. I do not
overlook the fact that the outer portion of
the Toto must be exceedingly stout, as it
will have to resist a far greater force from
the oncoming waves than a vessel which is
lifted by them. The Toto, spreading over
quite a number of waves, will not be lifted
by any one, but must meet the full force of
every coming billow. I admit that in storms
the beating force of the waves will be tre-
mendous, for they will dash against the rim
of the Toto as they dash against the rocky
shore of the land : and the rim of the Toto
must be very staunch. But it is only the
rim which will necessarily be so extremely
stout ; for the water, after expending its
force there, and being overcome, will smoothly
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 181
slide along beneath the level bottom of the
floating island. That portion of the Toto
which comes in contact with the water is so
different in form from that of other vessels,
that it would hardly be appropriate to call
it the hull. A large portion of it is a level
bottom ; the remainder inclines upward around
the structure, and I call it the rim. That
broad, level bottom will be subject to very
little strain, the force of the waves being met
by that stout rim ; and as it is only the cir-
cumference, the rim, which will need to be
constructed of immense strength, and as the
circumference of an oval figure is less in pro-
portion than that of a long and narrow one,
and as the strength of the arch inheres in a
rim of this oval form, it will be seen that
the work of giving the Toto its requisite
strength is assisted by three conditions es-
pecially favorable to it; so that even that
feature of the Toto will not be so extreme
i8 2 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
as might at first appear. And it is only
when the waves are running very high that
the Toto's immense power of resistance will
be tested. When the Toto is moving in
the direction of the waves, their action will
not retard its progress, but will aid it.
The rim of the Toto will be built to a
sufficient height to prevent the waves from
breaking over. This breakwater will preclude
the possibility of a horizontal view of the
ocean from the pavement of this outer street
upon the Toto, or from the doors and win-
dows in the first story of these houses; but
from the upper stories and from the prome-
nade deck (the flat roof) a magnificent view
of the ocean will be had at all times, in fair
weather or foul ; and on the opposite side
of the street will be a shelf-platform running
around the edge of the Toto, built within
three feet of the top of the rim, as a prome-
nade for those who desire to approach the
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 183
nearest to the ocean, and look over upon it
in its majesty, feeling secure from its clutch
and interpreting into the language of ro-
mance what the wild waves are saying.
And now some ingenious Yankee may
guess that some inquisitive whale would
stick his nose up through the bottom of
the Toto, to investigate matters above him.
The whale would know better. If not, it
would simply be an unfortunate attempt, as
the would-be housebreaking whale would not
succeed in getting anything more substantial
than a nosebleed. If any person supposes
that a structure of this magnitude and im-
portance would be built in so flimsy a man-
ner that a big fish would have access where
he pleased, let him cherish that shrewd sur-
mise and tell it to the marine monsters
when the first Toto is ready. Though the
Toto will not have much iron in its struc-
ture, it will have sufficient to meet every
184 MR. GHIATS DREAM.
demand. Sword-fishes and other marine pests
will not find the Toto unprepared to meet
them.
The attempt to obviate seasickness by con-
structing a hanging-saloon within a vessel of
the ordinary size and shape was as futile as
might have been expected. Any person who
has observed what motion of the vessel ex-
cruciated him the most, has perceived that
the rolling and pitching are not the cause
of seasickness. The rolling and pitching give
a swaying motion to the body, which adds a
trifle to the cruciating influence of the real
cause of seasickness the upward and down-
ward motion ! It is that lifting up, up, up,
and that sinking away of the floor, letting
us down, down, down, till it begins again to
rise, rise, rise. This deranges the stomach in
a manner which no hanging-saloon can avert,
for the whole ship is moving bodily up and
^down, carrying up and down with it the
hanging-saloon.
MR. GHIATS DREAM. 185
To be sure, a person in a hanging-saloon
need not suffer with seasickness, for, if the
hanging-saloon is furnished in a style appro-
priate to a hanging-saloon, he will have at
his disposal the means and the inclination to
hang himself.
There will be no hanging-saloon within
the Toto. The whole structure will maintain
its level, every head will be level, and no
one will even hang his head. Blissful enjoy-
ment of the sunny hours, romantic apprecia-
tion of the nights beneath that perfect dome
of stars feelings of every pleasant kind will
dominate us as we journey on the Toto ; and
along with every thought will come the sub-
lime realization This noble structure is
worthy of the ocean !
During the year 1873 tne number of im-
migrants landing at New York alone was
267,000, Their journey was very disagreeable.
They were literally pitched over from Europe.
1 86 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
If they could have come smoothly, how
much misery would have been saved them.
Were there but one such means of con-
veyance, they all would gladly have taken
it. The many thousands who went to other
American ports would have crossed the
ocean by this one lovely route. And num-
berless thousands of others would have come,
for pleasure, or business, or health, or enter-
prise, or curiosity, or some one of the various
motives which draw the multitude wherever
no unpleasant barrier checks them. In the
fifteen years ending with 1870, more than
three millions of emigrants arrived in the
United States. Millions more would have
come, undoubtedly, had the "bridge" been
ready which would carry them safely and
smoothly and easily over.
The Toto is required. All persons directly
or indirectly concerned in the existing lines
of ocean steamers will naturally say, " No,"
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 187
and perhaps extend the word " No " until
they utter " Nonsense ! " But the vast ma-
jority of people will admit the necessity of
at least one worthy carryall for the Atlantic
Ocean now, to begin with.
Against the project of building a Toto,
arguments must be expected, on account of
that vast pecuniary interest now lodged in the
flighty host of vehicles bobbing over the
sea. Do not be surprised, therefore, to hear
upon every hand the desperate sophistries of
those whose anxious souls hover over their
marine risks. Patiently hear whatever falla-
cies their apprehensions may inspire, sympa-
thizing with them in there waning fortunes,
kindly soothing them in their distress, drop-
ping a tear or two with them in these their
last hours, comforting them at the approach
of the inevitable. It is sad. But let not
their hearts despond; there maybe uses for
their narrow little steamers; this country is
full of creeks.
1 88 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
What an array of figures they will bring
out to prove their side of the case, to belit-
tle the importance of the Toto. I anticipate
those methods of opposition, and take them
by the forelock, disposing of them now.
They would surely come. Every great enter-
prise is opposed. On the same principle that
every man of any account has enemies,
every project of any account has opposition.
Statistics will be brought out to show how
many more people were killed by railroads
during one year than were killed by ocean
steamers ; as though that, if true, were a valid
argument against having a perfectly safe ferry
across the Atlantic. The fatality on railroads
is one thing, and the fatality from ocean
steamers is another thing ; and to compare
the two things together, with the purpose of
keeping down the better to the level of the
worse, is a style of argument they are wel-
come to who use it. Were I to reply with
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 189
similar sophistry, I should retort that the
number of persons knocked down and killed
by vehicles in the streets of London exceeds
the number of people killed by railroads in
the whole of England. That is a fact, but
what of it ? Is it an argument against im-
proved railways, if they could be had ? Or,
if I should claim that the number of persons
who die of typhoid fever in London exceeds
the number run over and killed on the tram-
ways, would that be an argument against
having good tramways? There is no con-
gruity between typhoid fever and tramways,
nor between the number of deaths by rail-
ways and the number of deaths by ocean
steamers.
Adroitly devised statements will be forth-
coming from interested parties, directly or in-
directly, in opposition to the Toto.
Look out for innuendoes about this time ;
look out for their motive. Look out for
1 90 MR. GHIM^S DREAM.
gross exaggerations. Look out for pleasant
caricatures. Look out for a numerous fol-
lowing by envious apes with their suddenly
conceived figments. Look out for deprecia-
tion and opposition of every kind ; but, if
you desire an honest man's opinion, take
your own when you are next upon the sea.
And, even then, look out or you will become
a believer in the Toto.
The greatest physical need of mankind at
this time is a Toto.
So great a project is amazing at the first
thought, but what great achievement is not ?
The world is progressing, and every import-
ant step of its progress is amazing. It is
almost incredible that the great inventions
which are now in such common use as to
be indispensable steam, the printing-press,
the telegraph are of such recent origin. The
youth of to-day, growing up with the sight
of railroads everywhere, would naturally sup-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 191
pose that railroads had been in vogue for
ages. What more amazing to him than to be
told that about fifty years ago there was not a
railroad on earth ; that the telegraph was not
used until long afterward ; that they were
both bitterly denounced by the majority of
people living when they were introduced ;
that in 1814 Great Britain had only two
steam vessels, and now she has nearly four
thousand ; that an able and prominent mem-
ber of the British Association declared before
that body only forty-five years ago that no
steam vessel could ever cross the Atlantic;
that another prominent Englishman averred
that the electric telegraph was impossible, and
would not be wanted by the people even if it
were possible ; that the four million sewing-
machines in the United States had their origin
as lately as 1853; that 200,000 patents have
been granted in this new country, and they
are increasing at the rate of nearly 300 a
192 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
week; that the round earth was universally
admitted to be flat until within two or three
hundred years ; that there are fogies upon it
now who keep it as flat as they can ; that
there could be any hesitation in building a
Toto!
Look back about fifty years, and see how
the pull-backs tugged to prevent the railway
system from starting and moving on. For-
tunately, the breeching broke, and then they
had to clear the track ! for the locomotive
was getting ahead of them ! I extract the
following from an editorial in that most useful
and sterling journal of modern times, the
Scientific American, of the date Oct. 30,
1875 :
"On the 2;th of September, 1825, the first
railroad for conveying passengers was opened
in England, between the towns of Darlington
and Stockton. The occasion brought together
a throng of witnesses, some doubtful, more
MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
193
scornful, and all perhaps better prepared to
scoff at the failure which it was confidently
predicted awaited the bold inventor in his
daring attempt to make vehicles travel at the
unprecedented rate of fifteen miles an hour,
than to congratulate him upon the triumph
which upset their theories and left them
questioning the reliability of their senses. It
is suggestive to contrast this unbelieving as-
semblage with the gigantic gathering which
has enthusiastically celebrated the day which
marks the lapse of the half century since that
victory over prejudice and ignorance was
gained. * * * * The question of nui-
sance became the ground for many of the
most absurd objections to Stephenson's pro-
posed use of the locomotive for passenger
transportation. ' The noise of the machine
will scare cows so badly that their lacteal
functions will be arrested;' 'if cows get on
194 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
the track, how will the engine get out of
the way ? ' are specimens of this cavilling."
Only fifty-two years since then ! The rail-
road now is common, and its entire structure
is immense. Other vast enterprises also have
grown up, stunning at the outset, but shortly
becoming essential elements of civilization.
Another stunning step in human progress is
to come. Let it be such a firm step on the
ocean that the very whales will forget the
story of Jonah in their wonder. Yet one of
the commonest things in future years will be
the Toto.
It has been well said
" The folly of one age is the wisdom of
the next." The New Age.
The dark ages were not very remote, ac-
cording to the following, from the Herald
of the Hub, of the date Oct. 31, 1875 :
" About seventy years ago the gas lamp
was introduced in London, by a German
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 195
named Winsor, and soon afterward the citizens
lighted Bishopsgate street as an experiment.
Terrible consequences from this innovation
were predicted by non-progressive alarmists,
and these antiquated scarecrows spread the
notion that the extensive use of gas in Lon-
don would poison the air, and eventually
blow up the inhabitants."
But the opposers of gas received more
light. There is now plenty of gas in Lon-
don and Washington and elsewhere. Yet
there is not a reliable ship on the globe.
There will be.
Adorn the Toto little or much, it will be
lovely. Build the first Toto unadorned, yet
it will be adorned the most among all the
floating palaces of the sea, for it will adorn
itself with a multitude of happy human faces.
No other kind of adornment equals that!
And that kind of adornment is not the pre-
vailing feature of rolling ships.
196 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
Embellish the Toto first or last, the peoples
of the earth will enjoy it always. Many will
come from many lands, attracted by its funda-
mental worth, ornamented or plain. What-
ever the decoration, the one inherent charm of
the Toto will be its masculine strength, its
power to resist the turbulence of that un-
scrupulous, noisy Neptune.
Garnish the Toto in due time. Please the
eye, but come to terms with the stomach first.
The most fastidious eye is naught so long as
the most dainty stomach is squeamish. Away
with glitter until there is substance ! Paint
nothing until there is something worth paint-
ing ! It is better to be well on a dray than
ill in a landaulet.
The suffering of the past is crying out unto
us who are living and moulding the future.
Borne on every breeze around the earth still
sweeps the groan of every human being who
has sunk into the ocean depths. Their cries
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 197
are growing feebler, but the sad vibrations
linger yet, and will roll on forever. Each im-
pulsion of despair, so loudly rung out, is be-
coming fainter every year; yet they are grow-
ing greater in their number every year.
Thousands of the saddest wailings have been
newly added to the cry of drowning thou-
sands lost in each year gone ; and thousands
more, of hearts that now are glowing with
the light of hope, are doomed within a year
to add their piteous entreaties to the com-
mon shriek, and keep it rolling on. And so
it will continue, until mankind shall send a
worthy answer to the sea, the formidable
might of Neptune shall be nobly met, and
on the cruel waters of an ocean maddening
up into destructive fury shall calmly and
triumphantly and grandly float a safe and
comfortable vehicle the Toto.
198 MR. GHIM >S DREAM.
CHAPTER III.
HE foregoing chapter comprises the
gist of my argument to Mr. Vander-
bilt and others, in regard to the huge
enterprise I projected.
And now we shall see what came of it.
The building of a Toto began.
John Roach, the celebrated ship-builder,
superintended the construction of the first
Toto. Vanderbilt raised the money, Roach
furnished the mechanical ability, I concocted
the idea. We three produced the first Toto.
Roach was the hardest worked man of the
trio. All the responsibility rested on him
from the moment he commenced to build the
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 199
Toto. Happily, John Roach was born with
a head equal to the task, though it had to
apply itself to a work entirely original. For-
tunately, too, he had a chip of the old block
with him Henry Roach who proved an
able assistant.
A vast deal of thinking had to be done
before the specifications of the huge struc-
ture could be determined upon in all their
details ; but this was accomplished while the
framework was undergoing construction ; and
thus the great enterprise went forward with-
out delay. Time was precious ; so many were
suffering for want of employment.
The forthcoming grand embodiment of hu-
man progress began to take form within a
few weeks from the time Mr. Roach took
hold of the enterprise. The actual outline
of the structure was soon visible, and all its
parts were seen to be coming together and
uniting in unmistakable reality. In just five
200 MR. GffSM'S DREAM.
years from its inception the monster was
ready for the sea.
In the meantime, the enormous amount of
employment it created gave a stirring impulse
to mercantile transactions, revived industry in
all its branches, quickened the circulation of
money, accelerated the flow of good nature,
restored the confidence needed among busi-
ness men, and drove dull times away. Pros-
perity was restored. Progress was resumed.
Activity reigned.
As the time approached for that most
signal proceeding of this century, the launch
of the first Toto, preparations were made to
celebrate the event in a manner befitting its
magnitude, with a ceremony appropriate to
the grandeur of the deed itself and the sub-
limity of its meaning.
Countless organizations pressed their claims
for the right of the line in the great civic
procession which marched from Central Park
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 201
to the Battery, lest they should be behind,
unable to get within a mile of the Toto. An
avalanche of letters poured into Vanderbilt's
office for weeks beforehand, urgently solicit-
ing passes within the charmed circle around
the tower, reserved for the nearest spectators
of the ceremony.
As the inauguration of the first Toto was
an event entirely new in the history of the
world, it was fitting that the management of
the long procession on that day should in-
volve a new feature. Instead of one chief
marshal, we had two. I induced the most
famous general of the war to command it first,
and another noted general to command it last.
One marshalled the vast host of organizations
together, and led them forward ; the other
conducted them back in good order. Thus
promptness was secured, and discipline main-
tained. The members of every company were
notified beforehand precisely where and ex-
202 MR. GfffM'S DREAM.
actly when to rendezvous, to march immedi-
ately. Each organization fell into line with
the precision of clock-work, moving without a
moment's stoppage of any one of the numer-
ous parts. I believed such accuracy attainable,
and I determined to have it. I selected the
men who could carry out this idea, and they
managed the vast array of organizations with
the foresight required. Grant led them forth,
and McClellan led them back.
The passage of the long procession to the
Toto, the crowding upon it of as many as
could find a foothold, was followed by the
dedicatory exercises, in the open air, on the
widest thoroughfare of the Toto, where a small
platform had been erected for a few of the
most prominent actors in the scene.
I had thought it might add something to
the pleasure of the time to have the Toto
dedicated by Free Masons. They are always
willing to entertain the people by dedicating.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 203
I love to see them march up on a platform
in front of us common people, and dedicate
public buildings, soldiers' monuments, &c.,
according to their ritual, without betraying
the important secrets of their order. Not
being a Free Mason myself, I consulted a
Sir Knight, who referred me to an Eminent
Commander, who sent me to a Right Emi-
nent Grand Commander, who directed me to
the Grand Generalissimo of the United
States : and through his influence I had all
the Free Masons of the United States pres-
ent to dedicate my Toto. This portion of
the ceremony was opened by the Grand
Master of the Commandery of New York,
as follows :
GRAND MASTER. From time immemorial
it has been the custom of the Ancient and
Honorable Fraternity of Free and Accepted
Masons, when requested to do so, to conse-
crate, with ancient forms, such public works
204 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
as are of patriotic and common interest.
This structure, therefore, we may consecrate
in accordance with our law, and in accord-
ance with ancient usage. Brother Deputy
Grand Master, what is the proper jewel of
your office?
DEPUTY GRAND MASTER. The square.
GRAND MASTER. What does it teach?
+
DEPUTY GRAND MASTER. To square our
accounts by the square of virtue, and by it
we prove our work.
GRAND MASTER. Have you applied your
jewel to this structure?
DEPUTY GRAND MASTER. I have. The
work is square. The craftsmen have done
their duty.
[It seemed to me more round than square.
Still, I kept quiet. I did not wish to accuse
a Deputy Grand Master of falsehood.]
GRAND MASTER. Brother Senior Grand
Warden, what is the jewel of your office ?
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 205
SENIOR GRAND WARDEN. The level.
GRAND MASTER. What does it teach ?
SENIOR GRAND WARDEN. The equality of
all men ; and by it we prove our work.
GRAND MASTER. Have you applied your
jewel to this structure?
SENIOR GRAND WARDEN. I have. The
work is level. The craftsmen have done
their duty.
GRAND MASTER. Brother Junior Grand
Warden, what is the jewel of your office?
JUNIOR GRAND WARDEN. The plumb.
GRAND MASTER. What does it teach?
JUNIOR GRAND WARDEN. To walk up-
rightly; and by it we prove our work.
GRAND MASTER. Have you applied your
jewel to this structure?
JUNIOR GRAND WARDEN. I have. The
work is plumb. The craftsmen have done
their duty.
["Plumb, is it?" thought I. "The Toto is
206 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
level, but who would think of saying it is
plumb?"]
The Grand Master, striking the Toto three
times with the gavel, said :
Well made well proved true and trusty.
This undertaking has been conducted and
completed by the craftsmen according to the
grand plan, in Peace, Harmony and Brotherly
Love.
The Deputy Grand Master received from
the Grand Marshal a vessel of corn, and,
pouring out the corn, said :
May the health of the community which
has executed this undertaking be preserved,
and their labors be prospered.
The Grand Marshal presented a cup of wine
to the Senior Grand Warden, who poured the
wine down his throat, saying :
May plenty be vouchsafed to the people of
this city, and blessings attend all its great un-
dertakings.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 207
The Grand Marshal presented a cup of oil
to the Junior Grand Warden, who poured the
oil (not down his throat, but into a lamp, for
it was kerosene oil), saying :
May this people be preserved in peace, and
enjoy every blessing.
The Grand Chaplain then pronounced the
following invocation :
May corn, wine, and kerosene oil, and all
the necessaries of life, abound among men
throughout the world ; and may this structure
long remain in its grandeur and strength, to
traverse the ocean securely; to which noble
and useful purpose it has now been con-
secrated.
GRAND MASTER. Grand Marshal, you will
make proclamation that this structure has
been duly consecrated in accordance with an-
cient form and usage.
GRAND MARSHAL. In the name of the
Most Worshipful Grand Lodge of the Com-
zoS MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
monwealth of New York, I now proclaim that
the structure here built by the most enterpris-
ing men now living, for the purpose of carry-
ing people safely and comfortably across the
ocean, has this day been found square, level,
and plumb, true and trusty, and consecrated
according to the ancient forms of Masons.
This Proclamation is made from the EAST, the
WEST, the SOUTH ONCE (trumpet), TWICE
(trumpet twice), THRICE (trumpet thrice).
All interested will take due notice thereof.
The Masonic feature of the dedication of
the Toto reminded me of a similar ceremony
at the dedication of the Soldiers' Monument
on Boston Common, Sept. 17, 1877, and my
impression at the time that probably no more
grand and imposing public proceeding than
this serious pouring of corn and wine and oil
was occurring on any portion of the earth
except among the savages. Moreover, that
calling a round monument square was only
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 209
exceeded by calling it level. Centuries of
corroding time may level it ; at present it is
plumb. My aim is always practical utility,
and had I been the Grand Master of masonic
ceremonies on that occasion, I should have
directed my men in regalia to examine that
staging full of seats on Black stone Square
before it fell with all those people on it, thus
saving five broken legs and several broken
ribs. There was where the square, and the
plumb, and so forth were needed, to see if the
craftsmen had done their duty, before so many
people were injured by the structure suddenly
becoming level. Possibly the builders had
been pouring too much corn, or too much oil,
but probably too much wine.
At the dedication of the Toto, after the
Free Masons had played their part, a gun was
fired and the American Hymn was sung by
a million voices in the open air ; a few words
were spoken by the originator of the Toto;
2io MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
a selected chorus sang a poem written for the
occasion by James Russell Lowell ; Vanderbilt
bowed his acknowledgments to the eulogy it
contained ; Roach delivered a short address on
the history of shipbuilding, and especially its
progress since the building of the steamer Hu-
ron; a solo was attempted and sung by the
broken voice of the venerable Jenny Lind, in
honor of the old memories clinging to this
spot ; and the next thing on the programme
was an oration by Senator Roscoe Conkling,
who delivered the most eloquent address which
his powerful mind was ever inspired to create.
In his own superb style, he declared the past
five years, from 1877 to 1882, the most mem-
orable five years conceivable in American
history. And he uttered much besides, in
every one of those solid sentences of his.
" You, sir," said he, turning to Ex-President
Hayes upon his left, " and you, sir," gracefully
swinging to President Bristow on his right,
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 2 n
" had the honor to stand at the helm of this
mighty creation of human foresight in govern-
ment, called a Republic, when this other
mighty creation of human foresight, called a
Toto, had its amazing inception and its glori-
ous consummation. The deed we perform
this day will be known in the remotest future
of the human race, when all the brilliant
achievements hitherto won shall have van-
ished from the memory of man, to perish
utterly. The names of the men who engaged
in this noble enterprise will quiver on human
lips a million years to come, as they break
through their emotion to speak of this one
huge stride in the march of Progress."
I have given but the weakest paragraph in
his powerful address. The whole occupied an
hour, and was poured into the ears of the
most remarkable assemblage ever formed.
Not only the wise, profound, witty and
famous of this land, but celebrities of all
212 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
lands, were numerously gathered here, to wit-
ness the inauguration of so stupendous a
movement as the movement of the Toto.
Crowned heads from Europe were bumping
each other in the dense throng.
At the conclusion of Senator Conkling's
address, the stars and stripes ran up the
Toto's flagstaff over the tower, the Star
Spangled Banner was sung by square miles
of people on housetops stretching up Man-
hattan Island, the procession marched away,
the ponderous engines were put in motion,
and the launch of the first Toto began. He
floated out with the ease and grace of a swan,
and glided toward the outer bay, to the music
of countless bands afloat and ashore.
Such was the confidence beforehand in the
structure, every detail in its furnishing was
completed before the Toto was launched, and
now it was out and bound for England direct.
The broad escutcheon upon its stern, bearing
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 213
its proud name of PROGRESS, was now re-
vealed to the gaze of millions behind, who
crowded the housetops of New York and
Brooklyn, on platforms erected up there, and
loaded the roofs as they had never been
laden before. Jersey City, too, was densely
occupied with watchers, and every visible spot
of earth in the region around was covered
with human beings intensely interested in the
sublime event, and clambering up from be-
hind every obstacle, to peer through the in-
tervening space and view the wondrous
scene. The most near-sighted persons, though
miles away, could see something without an
opera-glass.
The coffer-dam had been removed pre-
viously ; this work required many days. For
weeks the Toto had been afloat, waiting for the
ceremonious public launch from its quiet little
resting-place to the boisterous surface of the
2i 4 MR. CHIMES DREAM.
broad ocean. The i/th of September, 1882,
was the day thus honored.
Months before the Toto was launched,
every habitation upon it, every room, cot,
and lounge, had been engaged at a high pre-
mium for occupancy during its first passage
across the Atlantic ; and yet but a small
fraction of the multitude eager to enjoy this
splendid novelty could be accommodated.
These fortunate ones, numbering a hundred
thousand, were now experiencing the most
novel hour of their lives, and were accord-
ingly full of the delight which novelty brings.
There was ceaseless, jaunty traversing to and
fro upon the Toto, exploring its upper and
lower regions for every point of interest, a
smile of satisfaction adorning every counte-
nance, the laughter of overflowing good na-
ture echoing interminably. Life, life, rollick-
ing life, the highest exhilaration of life,
abounded. The stupendous structure itself
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 215
was alive with its forward motion, and the
stir of its hundred thousand occupants ren-
dered it seemingly more alive with the molec-
ular motion of its parts.
Onward to the Narrows the leviathan was
steadily conveying us at the rate of six miles
an hour.
We passed to the lower bay, and followed
the channel around near Sandy Hook, out to
the open sea. And now the special interest
in the Toto as a sea-going vessel deepened
and broadened, and was rising to its climax.
The Toto was soon to meet the supreme
test. Here were the mighty waves of the
Atlantic rolling their huge volumes toward
us. Eternally-moving swaths of water, from
twenty to forty feet high, were to lose their
momentum in surging against our stately
craft. Not merely one of these contentious
agents of Neptune must be subdued, but
another, another, and another continually,
2i6 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
whenever the waves were moving in oppo-
sition to our course. We glided on toward
the heavily-rolling surface of the ocean, reach-
ing it gradually over the lesser billows, and
watched with the keenest sense the powerful
efforts made by the element which the Toto
was built especially to combat.
Night had fallen around us. The smallest
hours of the night were passing when this
trial of strength between two monsters oc-
curred. It was after midnight but who had
retired to bed? Not a soul of the hundred
thousand aboard. The full round moon had
rolled up and shone down from its topmost
height, giving to our little city its brightest
illumination of the night, and was rolling on
its downward track.
On board the Toto, enthusiasm had kept
every person awake and alert ; and on the
land behind us, was any living person asleep ?
The miles on miles of the shore of Long
MR. GHIATS DREAM. 217
Island while it remained in sight, and the
square miles of ground behind the shore were
white with square miles of human faces di-
rected toward us, imparting to that moonlight
scene a grandeur of picturesqueness that can
never die in the memory of those who beheld
it. We were a hundred thousand, they were
millions. The sight they saw was grand, the
sight we saw was sublime.
Breaking away our gaze from that vast
splendor behind us, we peered before us, upon
the heavy and heavier swell of the ocean we
were to meet and baffle. The waves were not
running mountains high : they never do ; but
they were running hillocks high, and further
out they were running at their highest. A
lengthy storm had been rousing the great
deep for days, and had only ceased on the
morning of the day we started, leaving the
ocean ruffled by those tremendous undula-
tions, with crowns of forty feet vertical height
2i8 MR. GHIM S DREAM.
from the trough of the sea, rolling now with
an impetuosity requiring several days of mod-
erate weather to bring down to the average.
No more fortunate start could have happened,
for it enabled us to witness thus early in the
first trip ever made by the Toto a full test of
its usefulness. And, moreover, without the un-
pleasant feature of a storm keeping us indoors.
We could occupy our streets and house-tops,
and traverse the Toto conveniently to every
part. We did. All night long the promenad-
ing continued, with scarcely any abatement.
The superb novelty of this great night's expe-
rience made peripatetics of us all. But while
the itinerant multitude trod those streets with
careless step and thoughtless mood, a few
were closely studying the great problem which
the Toto was aiding them now to solve. Men
who had risked millions in this new system of
ocean navigation were intensely absorbed in
the prospect. And I, who did not own one
MR. GHIMS DREAM.
219
share, not having a million dollars to purchase
it, was more deeply interested than all, as I
had originated the project which jeopardized
these hundred thousand persons' lives.
Now in the pilot-house, now at the extreme
front edge, now looking down over the stern,
now somewhere else, I was everywhere, dili-
gently observing ; but as time passed on, and
we were nearing the heaviest waves we were
to encounter, I betook myself to the extremest
position forward, where the billows, if they
were to sweep us away, should fold me first
in their deadly embrace. From a similar im-
pulse, Roach, the builder, wended his way to
the same fascinating spot ; and Vanderbilt,
the chief owner, joined us. Other celebrities,
also, tarried here a while, and then continued
their meanderings. Bayard Taylor, the travel-
ler, of course, travelled to this spot, and so-
journed half an hour. His friend, the witty
paragrapher, the Danbury News man, had a
320 MR. GffSM'S DREAM.
curiosity . to gratify here. George Alfred
Townsend rushed here repeatedly. The ven-
erable Peter Cooper, George Law, the brothers
Stuart, both the Roosevelts, all the Adamses,
and others, happened along.
Senator Conkling, arm in arm with George
William Curtis, paced from the Kernan Hotel,
to enjoy a sight of the ocean from this vantage
point when the sea was running high, and
looked down fraternally on the tumultuous
waters, which were heaving and contending
and uniting like angry statesmen.
These two prominent creators of public
opinion had latterly vied with each other only
in their endeavors to be foremost in thunder-
ing the praises of the magnificent useful enter-
prise just completed. As they approached our
little group they were considering the subject
of ambition.
" I have often marvelled," said Senator
Conkling, "that you, my dear George, have
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 221
i
always shunned the road leading to Senatorial
honors."
George William Curtis, with a smile as deep
as eternity, replied that he considered the
scope for exalted influence afforded a journal-
ist was as much greater and loftier than that
wielded by a Senator as the flight of a power-
ful eagle is greater and loftier than that of a
crow.
" But nothing personal is meant, my dear
Roscoe," he added, dimpling.
" I perceive an additional reason," said
Conkling. " I notice that the highest am-
bition invariably defeats itself. It is a curi-
ous fact worth noticing, that every President
in modern times, from the election of Lincoln
till now, has been the very man who cared
the least to become President. The hardest
strivers for the place were always baffled, an
humbler man taken up and lifted to the
Executive Chair. Ambition is a tumor. I
222 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
have had mine cut off. I am now the most
contented public man on the globe."
"Therefore, my dear Conkling, you are
the most likely to reach the Presidency
next."
" I no longer care for the Presidency. I
shall not go one step toward it."
" The more surely it will come to you."
Other Senators and other public men and
gifted ladies, passing along, stopped and staid
a while.
The waves ran higher, but the Toto main-
tained its speed of six miles an hour. We
who were gathered upon its forward edge
looked over at times for a vertical view of
the ocean. Standing on the shelf-platform
which extended around inside, three feet
below the top of the rim of the Toto, we
could not look down vertically to the ocean,
as the rim was four feet thick. But stand-
ing upon the rim itself, which had a light
MR. GJTIM'S DREAM. 223
but firm railing flush with its outer edge, we
could bend over and peer straight down on
the rising and falling surface of the mighty
waters. It was a sight of which I never
tired. Were the Toto itself rising and fall-
ing with the water, like all other vessels, no
such scene would have met our gaze. The
Toto was still maintaining its steady poise,
though advancing in a region of gigantic bil-
lows. Mightier yet were to be reached, and
we who were most interested remained at this
point to witness the effect of Neptune's
fiercest hostility.
Some persons had imagined that the Toto
would experience a jarring pulsation through
it at every encounter with a wave. This
would be a constant source of annoyance
throughout the Toto. Theoretically, this
might happen ; practically, it did not. The
rim being oval, and nowhere straight, there
was no heavy broadside shock to thrill
224 MR. GHIATS DREAM.
through the structure. Each great wave
touched the curved outline at one point first,
and all other points afterward. Thus every
encounter was gradual. At all times there
were several billows rolling past the Toto.
Its steadiness was perfect. And its speed
exceeded our anticipations. But as we looked
down vertically from its forward edge, and
saw the water rising every minute as an ob-
stacle to its speed, we also saw it falling
every minute, removing an obstacle ; falling
away down to as great a depth below the
average level as it had risen above it, thus
compensating for its enormous rise a moment
before.
It was a curious sight we saw, looking
down when a wave had lowered the surface
of the water beneath us, away down to a
depth of forty feet below where it had been,
to see that the Toto did not descend along
with it, but seemed to hang out over that
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 225
abysm, as though pushing across it. The
body of the structure extending far back,
over the width of eighteen of these broad
billows, held it up in its level attitude, what-
ever might be the height or depth of a wave
at any point around it.
But we were meeting greater and greater
waves, and we awaited the result of the on-
set. If one should sweep over us !
My confidence, however, was strong. In
any event, I felt no apprehension regarding
my own life. If the Toto were swamped, I,
having brought it into existence, would not
care to survive the misfortune, even if escape
to land were possible. I felt as complacent as
could be.
"A smile is passing over the face of our
transcendent young genius," remarked Senator
Conkling, with a touch of sarcasm in the re-
mark. " What is it, Ghim ? What facetious
idea has come ?"
22 6 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
" A droll notion, Senator, which you your-
self threw out at the Rochester Convention in
1877. An ingenuous lady once said she had
always noticed that when she lived through
February she lived through the whole year.
Ha ! ha ! ha ! And now, if the Toto lives
through the waves we are shortly to meet,
he will live on through all."
"I hope he will," remarked the Senator,
taking out his pocket-knife and cleaning his
finger-nails by moonlight.
" Another smile has reached the phiz of our
Ghim. What is it all about?" queried the
Danbury News man, at whom I happened to
be looking.
" A reminiscence of your own," said I. " I
learned from the columns of your highly in-
fluential and useful journal (ahem !) about
a case where a train of cars ran off the track
and were smashed to pieces, when a fat old
lady who had never travelled on a railroad be-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 227
fore, and was bound for Stamford, crawled out
of the wreck and inquired ' Is this Stamford ?'
' No, this is a catastrophe,' was the reply.
' Well, if this ain't Stamford, I hadn't oughter
got off here,' So now, if we meet waves too
big, there will be a catastrophe, and there
will be a hundred thousand of us folks, who
never travelled this way before, wriggling
about in the water, thinking we ' hadn't
oughter got off here.' "
The moon was descending, the waves were
rising. But at 3 o'clock the climax of the
situation was reached. Captain Garrett, who
commanded the vessel, came down from the
pilot-house and informed us that the Toto
was traversing the highest waves it would
ever encounter. Its test as a sea-going ves-
sel had now been fully and successfully met !
Captain Garrett hastened back to the top
of the tower, and blew five screeches from
the whistle. A great event was now to
228 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
occur, in honor of the Toto's complete
success.
The tower was built upon arches over the
central thoroughfare, which bore the name of
Indiana Avenue. Fronting on one side of
Indiana Avenue was the Voorhees Hotel,
by far the largest in the city. The Voorhees
Hotel was long and narrow; one end was
painted yellowish red. This hotel extended
the entire length of the Toto, minus the
width of the street at each end. All the cross
streets were spanned by the building itself,
just above the first story. The second story,
in front, comprised one long dining-room,
seventeen hundred feet in length, and thirty
feet in width. In this immense dining-room
was now to be held the greatest banquet the
world had ever witnessed or ever dreamed of.
The invitations were issued a year before
hand; the moment had come, the whistle
announced it ; and now the greatest of earth
MR. GHIJ^S DREAM. 229
from inventors down to monarchs, were gath-
ering in response to the signal which told
them the time had arrived for rejoicing and
feasting and speech-making over the triumph-
ant career of the Toto. Such a banquet earlier
would have signified nothing. Not until the
new structure had met its enemy in the full
tide of his strength, and successfully passed
the terrific ordeal, could that mighty fact
be appropriately celebrated. Now we could
do it, and with a gusto. Hunger was begin-
ning in earnest to press its claims. Many of
us had eaten nothing, cared for nothing to
eat, in the heightening excitement of all the
hours since we started. But now the climax
had come, and henceforth the intense novelty
of it all must wane.
Preparations for the banquet had been com-
pleted in all their details. The arrangements
had been specified to each invited guest weeks
before. Every one knew precisely the spot to
2 3 o MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
go to, the chair to occupy, in the whole vast
array. At the welcome sound of the steam-
whistle, thirty-six hundred persons moved with
joyful steps toward the Voorhees Hotel. All
sat down together in one room, and ate their
fill.
It was a notable assembly, embracing the
leading inventors of all nations, the greatest
authors of every tongue, the most famous
statesmen of the world, brilliant American
sovereigns, and every royal head on the globe.
Regarding the latter, all, all had been drawn
by the magic of this mighty revolution in
commercial affairs. In the speech-making
which attended this banquet, their royal high-
nesses let out the secret of their unanimous
attendance here ; America was bearing away
the palm for enterprise; no head of a mari-
time nation could tranquilly rest upon its
pillow at home during such an august hour as
this ; all were here to observe with their own
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 231
eyes, and to plan the immediate construction
of Totos in their own waters.
The ruler of Japan, even the ruler of China,
sat down at this board. The enterprising
Dom Pedro, of Brazil, would not have missed
the occasion for half his kingdom. Ralph
Waldo Emerson emerged from retirement, and
enjoyed this stirring event at the Voorhees
Hotel. The " tall Sycamore of the Wabash "
of course, graced the occasion with his flowing
locks and flowing accents.
Ben Butler and Ben Hill took seats near
each other, with only the Queen of England
between.
The Sultan of Turkey sat near the Czar
of Russia, with Her Majesty Queen Isabella
for meat to the great sandwich.
The beetling brow of Mark Twain threw
more colossal majesty on the scene, and his
long-drawn tones lengthened the humorous
feeling his droll ideas aroused.
232 MR. GJflM'S DREAM.
The merry little old doctor, Oliver Wendell
Holmes, took out a manuscript when called
up, and read a chirruping poem. With his
usual felicitousness of expression, he touched
upon various persons present. The greatest
roach he had ever come across while eating
was John Roach, the builder of the Toto.
The man of progress who had put himself
furthest in the van was Vanderbilt. The fact
that the Toto existed, and was not a mere
whim, was due to one here who persisted,
which his name it was Ghim.
The rollicking little round Sunset Cox
climbed up into a chair betwixt Harriet
Beecher Stowe and Clara Louise Kellogg,
and set tables roaring by his youthful exu-
berance.
The gifted Mary Clemmer, directly oppo-
site, snugly ensconced between Max Stra-
kosch and the Khedive of Egypt, exulted in
her superb opportunity for studying human
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 233
nature. Not a face within range escaped her
keen scrutiny.
The Princess of Wales, with Whitelaw Reid
on one side, and Bret Harte on the other,
enjoyed the occasion royally.
The talented Olivia, and the queenly Olive
Logan, and the ferocious General Logan, and
the vigorous Clarence Cook, and the mother
of us all, Mrs. Livermore, were mingled with
the kingly Grand Duke of Russia, the ardent
Gambetta, the smooth Disraeli, the earnest
Grace Greenwood, and the bewitching Phoebe
Cozzens.
The Empress Eugenie was sometimes smil-
ing in a Frenchy chat with the Hon. Matt
Carpenter upon her right, and sometimes se-
riously listening to the King of Dahomey
upon her left.
Cyrus W. Field and Kate Field and
James T. Fields, and various Fields, were
present.
234 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
Far too numerous to mention were the
many others who attended this banquet.
The decoration of the room was gorgeous.
The arrangement of tables was transverse,
except at the ends of the room, where a few
tables ran lengthwise, to afford every person
the best opportunity attainable for seeing
many. But as no one could see all, or hear
everything, imaginary lines divided the whole
into three groups of twelve hundred persons
each, except when some stentorian voice
gained the ears of the whole assembly.
An incident occurred in "our set," of small
importance to the multitude, but of tremen-
dous importance to me. Ik Marvel, deliver-
ing a little speech in eloquent Saxon,
complimenting me, alluded to the Toto as
my Toto. Replying, I mentioned the fact
that not a single iron rod or creosoted stick
of timber, or even a ten-penny nail in the
whole structure belonged to me ; that the
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 235
shares were a million dollars each, and I did
not own a share.
Vanderbilt suddenly arose.
" Ladies and gentlemen," said he, " our
young friend's remarks move me to say a
few words right here, and perform a deed
right here which I planned for a future
occasion when I could see him alone.
I am too impatient now to await that time.
You are all aware that I own fifty-one of
the hundred shares representing the value of
the Toto, while he who virtually created this
entire structure owns nothing of it, alas ! and
is poorer than the poorest of you. I now
present to him, as a trifling reward for his
thoughtful services in behalf of suffering hu-
manity, by conceiving and carrying forward so
gigantic an enterprise as the building of the
first Toto, a million dollars' worth of its stock."
As soon as I could be heard I replied,
protesting against such a squandering of
236 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
property. It would leave Vanderbilt with
only fifty shares, not enough for a controlling
interest if all the other stockholders ever
united against him. " Besides," said I, " I
shall not be penniless all my life. Mr. Stuart
here has willed me his entire interest in the
Toto. If I should survive him, there is four
million dollars' worth "
"What!" exclaimed Vanderbilt. "Am I to
be outdone by one less able ? I will be
sweeter to you than the sugar refiner. I
present you five million dollars' worth this
day. I "
" Halt, Mr. Vanderbilt. Before you go
higher still, I accept your noble present, lest
you give your whole fortune away. I am
eternally obliged. Please imagine me ever-
lastingly thanking you for your generous im-
pulse. It shall not be in vain. Circum-
stances have taught me the full value of
money, and the highest use of it. The in-
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 237
come of those five millions will be well ap-
propriated, you may depend upon it. Your
unparallelled "
" Enough ! enough !" cried Vanderbilt "It
seems to me I see our friend John B. Gough
among us. As we are travelling by water,
I am sure we shall all be delighted to hear
remarks from a wet water man, upon water
in general and water in particular."
Mr. Gough responded :
" Nothing inspires a man like cold water
on a cold morning. It's a fatal mistake to
drink anything else. I never drink anything
else except by mistake. In the exhilaration
prevailing among these thiity-six hundred
persons feeding their tape-worms together,
no wonder some errors are committed. I
see a cold water man has taken wine by
mistake, and feels bigger than a Toto. If he
makes the same mistake repeatedly, he will
wind up with the grave error of rolling un-
238 MR, GHIM'S DREAM.
der the table. When a man drinks dry
Sillery wine instead of wet water, he drinks
contamination to his soul ! The past forty
years I've drunk water continually. I have
travelled widely, and always on water. I
mean as a beverage. In the other regard,
water has been too strong to suit my
stomach. On land my stomach travelled
comfortably, on water uncomfortably ; and
there is more water than land. I shall never
cease to forget how I staggered over the
water the first time I went across, to enjoy
life in London. But now we're travelling
like a duck ! A big duck. The Toto has
dignity. It takes to the ocean like a duck
to a pond, and preserves its stateliness like a
swan. Governor Swan of Maryland, will
you have the goodness to favor us with a
pantomime ?"
Gov. Swan replied with gesticulations until
his voice came up, when all heard and were
MR. GHIAPS DREAM. 239
fascinated. When he was fairly under way,
he took occasion to retort upon Gough with
a piece of pleasantry, but Gough had vanished.
He had not rolled under the table. He was
not on board the Toto. But Helen Potter
was. She had personated Gough as well as
he could personate himself.
Had this banquet been a small affair, only
one sex would have been privileged to enjoy
it. But the event it commemorated was
great, and all the proceedings it inspired
were comprehensive. The Toto was broad ;
no small or one-sided celebration would have
honored it.
Here were female thinkers and writers of
weight. Mrs. Julia Ward Howe irradiated
this banquet hall with her bright presence,
and let fall impressive words when her turn
came. Other profound speakers of her gender
moved us likewise with their deep utterances ;
and more of her sex were here to devour
240 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
truffles and speeches, and allow their own
sweet voices to be heard in chat.
Judge Bingham of Ohio was present,
crammed with materials for a ready-made
speech. He was called upon. Commencing
in moderate style, as usual, growing warmer
and fiercer, as usual, he became impetuous
and furious, he gesticulated with irresistible
force, he cracked the table with his knocks,
he would have levelled an oak at every
thrust, he projected thunderbolts faster and
faster, he fixed his eyes on imaginary foes,
he glared unutterable defiance over his eagle
beak, and swept like a hurricane to his
conclusion, winding up as follows :
" Fancy a far-away observer of the earth,
another astronomical Proctor, standing now
on the star Sirius, seventy-five millions of
millions of miles from Boston. He has been
looking off into the realms of ether, to pene-
trate as far as instruments can fathom the
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 241
mighty mass of yet unmeasured substance
which infinite space contains. His reason
tells him that all matter has its limits, al-
though his furthest measurements of the
whole are vain. The lengthening reaches of
his straining vision through his telescopes are
futile, and he draws in now within the scope
of easy observation, and looks upon the earth.
His scrutiny of orbs that roll in legions upon
legions within the radius of octillions of non-
illions of miles swept by his colossal glass for
the daily news of the world, his discoveries of
the great achievements wrought upon every
inhabited globe in the whole domain he scans,
his study of the vast works of the Creator's
creatures carrying forward the work of crea-
tion, fill his mind each day with a still more
sublime conception of the possibilities of prog-
ress, and he contemplates the future of the
universe with an expansion of soul which is
inspiring until he turns his telescope to view
242 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
the earth, and then he bursts out laughing.
He always laughs when he looks upon the
curious little globe called the earth, and thinks
of the ludricrous incongruities he perceives
there ; the people suffering all manner of evils
and not using means to remedy their troubles,
not even seeming to know that their difficul-
ties can be remedied. It convulses him with
mirth every time he turns his ten-mile tele-
scope from its grand review of the doings of
numberless gigantic and densely populated
globes massed before his telescope as he sweeps
the boundless depths of abysmal space to
take in even that infinitesimal fraction of the
remote star multitudes comprising the world
to cover the earth with his glass and see
human beings strenuously insisting that the
welfare of the world depends upon the dem-
ocratic party coming into power! and other
human beings crazy over the idea that the
world will go to wreck and ruin if the repub-
MR. GHUrS DREAM, 243
lican party does not continue to hold the
helm ! He thinks of the world, of the im-
mense regions of populous globes through
which his vision has been roaming to the
extent of his powerful glass, and now as he
covers the earth with one eye he looks at the
rolling seas with their twenty thousand toss-
ing chips called ships, and he grins with
irresistible fervor as he contemplates these
millions and millions of human beings
with their millions and millions of dollars,
and their millions and millions of horse
powers connected with almost every con-
ceivable form and variety of machinery
to assist them in great works, and yet no
great works accomplished in this department
of human activity. Floating out upon those
bobbing and swaying and lurching and
pitching and rolling little things that were
built to traverse oceans with the hope of
their living through the ordeal, he sees them
244 MR. GJffM'S DREAM.
sometimes getting across, and sometimes
getting in and going down thousands and
thousands of healthy people every year
gulped down by old Neptune, and yet their
survivors never seem to think of improving
on such a wholesale method of human
slaughter oh, it is too, too funny ! and he
laughs and laughs at such ridiculous doings
until he can catch his breath and say ' Ah,
Proctor, you are teaching the people lessons
of distance, but when will they apply them ?
You have expanded their minds by telling
them how many millions of millions of miles
they would have to walk to reach the nearest
fixed star, as there is no safe conveyance in
that direction ; but when will they learn that
there is no safe conveyance across their own
water, and that a really safe one would only
need to be one fifty-four millionth of a mil-
lionth of the length of the distance between
them and the very nearest star!' Again
MR. GHIATS DREAM. 245
imagine that far-away observer, our gifted
Proctor's astronomical cousin, seventy-five
million million times removed, lifting his
ten-mile glass once more to that little speck
of the world called the earth, which has
always been of such tremendous importance
in the cosmic plan that it has for ages
maintained its position in the very centre of
the universe, graciously allowing the vast
wheel called the Milky Way to revolve
around it imagine that looker-on raising his
glass in a smiling mood to see if the people
of earth continue as short-sighted as ever,
that he may have another good laugh with
his Sirius companions as he tells them how
the folks in the middle of the universe are
doing their best to stir up political tempests
over absolute trifles, how they are going
stark mad in every civilized country so fast
that thousands have to be penned up; how
the people in general are possessed with an
246 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
insane desire for gaudy appearances, regard-
less of convenience or comfort or health or
peace of mind or anything else that is
wholesome and useful ; how they fill them-
selves with the rankest of stinking fluids in
order that their nerves may be wrought up
to such a pitch of excitement that they will
enjoy a hundred years of life to-day lest
they die to-morrow; how they put all
their force into dazzling displays of tran-
sient strength, and are growing incapable
of steady and long-continued exercise of
power, whether personal or governmental ;
how they have grown to such numbers and
yet have not .increased the knowledge of
their own united strength to its real limits ;
how they have always tried their wretched
best to be content with gilded misery in
their travels on the ocean; how they devote
their attention to innumerable quick little
efforts at building bobbing baubles of ships,
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 247
instead of broadly and serenely and surely
combining and putting together a structure
of sterling strength and steady usefulness;
how they are always going through a host of
other just as laughable little antics for the
amusement of observers in the heavens; how
he has refrained from glancing at the earth
for a year or two, as he has been too busy
in studying the grand achievements of other
orbs, and he never did discover anything on
earth of importance commensurate with its
people's capabilities of progress ; how he
feels a touch of dyspepsia after his grave
labors in grander fields, and will now take a
laugh for the good of his health by turning
his telescope toward the earth, and shaking
up his torpid liver over the comic attempts
of those queer folk, who are always tugging
to make progress in opposite directions at
the same time ; how he surmises that the
earth was made for the purpose of amusing
248 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
the rest of creation by its people's frenzied
efforts to be happy ; how appropriate that
Boston was located on the earth, to spread
ideas of breadth and freedom and progress
among the inhabitants of a globe of such
importance, and keep the narrow minds of
earth's people from collapsing altogether ;
how an observer from Sirius cannot but
smile at the people of earth for regarding
all the immense orbs in space as their little
stars, and alluding to one which is 150,000,-
ooo times the size of the earth as their star
Sirius ; how remarkable it is that the cos-
mographic plan of the universe is such that
the earth is the nucleus of creation, and the
cosmogony of the entire immeasurable
amount has its beginning and ending upon
that atom of the whole, by which its people
are highly favored, republicans as well as
democrats; how strange it is that the in-
habitants of a globe of such importance have
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 249
been so long at the mercy of their own sea,
when they could journey over it in absolute
security if they would navigate it in the
right way, with vehicles of the right form
and size ; how those comically bobbing
things called ships will stir up his risibilities
now after he has not seen them for a year or
two, or anything else quite so ridiculous ; how
he will now what ! he sees on the Atlantic
Ocean at last the very thing they have
always needed a steady and safe and ad-
mirable structure the Toto! Earth is im-
proving. Man is progressing. Four cheers
for the author of the Toto I"
Another impetuous orator, General Joseph
R. Hawley, who stood at the head of the
vast Centennial enterprise, and had thrown
his whole soul into this vast enterprise also,
was afforded the opportunity to pour out his
pent up flood of enthusiasm. The mention
of his name in connection with the word
MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
Centennial brought him to his feet with a
jump and a declamation :
"Centennial! That magic word united
forty million minds on one great thought,
and drew the enterprising thousands from all
lands. They came to view a nation that had
risen in a hundred years unto colossal
strength, a nation that has proved itself a
prodigy among its rivals; and they came to
learn the secret of its wonderful prosperty.
No other nation upon earth has thriven in
the same proportion; and what has been the
means of its magnificent and sumptuous
success? This country's greatest measure of
success is due to inventors. Their inspiration
caused its rapid rise ; their inspiration is lift-
ing it apace; their inspiration has carried it
already up to such a height of practical
achievement that politicians grovelling below
are bewildered and lost in their endeavors to
comprehend the situation. Politicians are
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 251
behind the times, and are groping in shadows.
Invention is the spirit of the age ! before
whose solid works, and under whose more
potent and enduring influence, all petty con-
troversies upon special modes of government
are passing away, as the morning remnants
of a fevered dream are swept into oblivion at
the rising of the sun in his usefulness and
greatness and progress! Political animosities
fade, and die, and are forgotten. Invention
lives ! and grows ! and in its massive embodi-
ments of progress it looks on down upon
the ages as they come, plainly discernible,
unmistakable, tangible, while the constant
political fret, and the periodical tempests over
paltry details of human administration sink
into their forever dwindling importance. In-
vention soars above the plane of ephemeral
partisan thought ; out of its very castles in
the air it builds substantial abodes for the
better accommodation of man; up to these
252 MR. GJffM'S DREAM.
created improvements the genius of invention
lifts the human race ! Invention alone has
builded Civilization, the entire superstructure
and every detail within it. In a hundred
years what marvels were added ! Another
hundred years began. What are to be its
issues ? Out of this cycle of a hundred years
will arise undoubtedly some stupendous
works to illumine the pages of its history,
to aid the promotion of human advancement
to the end. What shall they be ? The
answer slumbers in minds unborn, with inter-
vening generations to rear impressive splen-
dors upon the foundation of the past. When
the hundred years now begun shall have
rolled away, and again America looks
proudly back, what happier reminiscence then
can arise than that this advancing nation
signalized the beginning of its new centennial
period by the beginning of a new enterprise
by which it stepped forth suddenly one
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 253
sweeping stride beyond all other nations!
that the Totos dotting every ocean had their
commencement in the plan of 1877, tne fi rst
year of our new one hundred years !"
He proceeded. He was followed by John
L. Swift, John Wetherbee, and other men of
enthusiasm, some of them witty fulminators
of trifles, yet all earnest believers in progress.
This great occasion of feasting passed
through its stately stages to its close. It was
no symposium, but an orderly banquet of
clear-headed, far-seeing men and women, pro-
foundly impressed by the fact that a record of
this event would glow in after ages upon one
of the brilliant leaves of history.
Weariness at last fell upon all. Sleep com-
plained of neglect, and would not be put off
longer. The lateness of the hour, too, con-
spired with the imagination to lay a heavy
hand on these tired bodies, and put out their
lights for renewal. It was time. The night
254 MR. GHIM^S DREAM.
was wholly gone; the gas was becoming
feeble ; the sun of a new day had swept across
the ocean, and was casting his early nays
through eastern windows, dimming all lights
that were lesser, subduing the brilliance of
nocturnal display, and smothering the intense
animation which all night long had attended
the moonlight vigils without and the banquet-
ing within. It was ended, and thirty-six
hundred persons dragged themselves away to
their beds, to sleep a day and a night.
Before I retired to rest, I travelled up to
the top of the Toto's tower once more, to
take one last fond look around upon the giant
I had brought into being; and I' felt a resist-
less exaltation of pride, and a pardonable
thrill of vanity, in view of the broad measure
of usefulness which the great work embodied,
and the limitless ramifications of its influence
for good upon industries in every civilized
nation.
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 255
Descending from the tower in deep
thought, and moving whithersoever the im-
pulse of the moment led me, I soon found
myself again in that fascinating spot at the
extreme edge of the Toto forward, my hand
upon the railing on the rim, and looking
steadfastly down from this firm resting-place,
to view the :mad waters in their everlasting
rise and .fall,. How many minutes or hours
I remained over this enchaining spectacle I
know not, but I drew myself away at: last,
with a lingering look of triumph at the mon-
ster I had subdued, and a smile. of derisidn
at his impotence :in rolling volumes of inert
matter toward me and my hundred thousand
people. .Let Neptune act his fiercest, a
leviathan of my own fashioning was ever suc-
cessfully contending with him, pressing him
back, pressing ever majestically forward.
I retired at last to my room and my
couch, and fell into my deepest slumber.
256 MR. GHIM'S DREAM.
Oh, what a sleep ! Oh, what an awaken-
ing ! Did I arise inspired with a proud recol-
lection of that great day and night's ex-
perience? I arose to a disenchantment of it
all. The whole was a dream. There had
been no procession, no dedication, no twins,
no banquet. There was no grand Voorhees
Hotel upon the Toto. Alas ! there was
no Toto. There was nothing but a dream.
Was there a condition of hard times oppress-
ing the people ? Surely, that notion must
have been a dream ; for why would a great
nation of intelligent people allow it? With
the benefits of modern appliances, the stores
of accumulated knowledge, the development
of intellect in the heightening advance of
civilization, why would they as a nation not
the poor alone, but all suddenly become
bewildered, cease to progress, fail to render
their vast accumulations profitable, and suffer
hard times? Would a Congress and a
MR. GHIM'S DREAM. 257
people narrow their gaze to a scrutiny of
trivial objects, and let the gigantic cause of a
difficulty stand before them so large as to be
unnoticed? Then there might be hard times.
But that is incredible. Could there be a
Congress and a people suffering and not
tracing their misfortune to its source ? Labor-
saving inventions, in vast numbers, work vast
changes in industry, enabling us to accomplish
results which in former times would be simply
astounding. It would be a mythical Congress
and a mythical people who would overlook
the sweeping drift of invention ; or see it and
deny its logical and inevitable tendency ; re-
fuse to adapt themselves to it, and accomplish
what they might ; pass by a fact of such trans-
cendent importance, and glare at something
petty ; attribute to dollars instead of machines
a diminution of manual employment ; deplore
the number of tramps, yet reduce the number
of government employees; abandon public
258 MR. GHIM'S DREAM*
works while private enterprise flags, .dis-
couraged by the lack of government enter-
prise ; endeavor to save a few dollars to the
treasury while millions are yearly lost in the
idleness fostered by that policy ! An intelli-
gent nation would not do that, for that would
create hard times. So there are no hard times ;
it must be a dream.
THE END.
1878
1878.
AND NEW EDITIONS,
RECENTLY ISSUED BY
Gr. W.CARLETON& Co., Publishers,
Madison Square, New York,
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MARY J. HOLMES* WORKS.
i -TEMPEST AND SUNSHINE.
*. ENGLISH ORPHANS.
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; MEADOW BROOK.
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13. ETHELYN'S MISTAKE.
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3,15. -EDNA BROWNING.
17. EDITH LYLE.
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"Mrs. Holmes' stories are universally read. Her admirers are numberless.
She is fa many respects without a rival in the world of fiction. Her character*
;;e always life-like, and she makes them talk and act like human beings, subject
to the same emotions, swayed by the same passions, and actuated by the same
Thrives whkh arc common among men and women of every day existence. Mrs.
Holmes is very happy in portraying domestic life. Old and young peruse her
-tcries with great delight, for she writes in a style that all can comprehend."
Mew York Weekly.
"Mrs. Holmes stories are all of a domestic character, and their interest,
therefore, is not so intense as if they were more highly seasoned with sensational-
ism, but it is f fa healthy and abiding character. Almost any new book which her
publisher might choose to announce from her pen would get an immediate and
general reading. The interest in her tales begins at once, and is maintained to
the close. Her sentiments are so sound, her sympathies so warm and ready,
an-! her knowledge of manners, character, and the varied incidents of ordinary
lite is so thorough, that she would find it difficult to write any other than an
excellent tale if she were to try it" Bottom Banner.
" Mrs. Holmes is very amusing ; has a quick and true sense ot hcmor, a
sympathetic tone, a perception of character, and a familial, attractive style,
pleasantly adapted to the comprehension and the Uste of that large class U
itrrrican readers for whom fashionable novels and ideal fantasies have no
-karm." Htttry T. Tuckerman.
The Tohimes are ah handsomely printed and bound in doth, cold
uaywhqa, and sent by mail, jottage free, on receipt of prire [f 1.30 each]. I-}
Q. W CARLETON ft CO., Publisher^
Madison Square^ New Ytrk.
CHARLES DICKENS' WORKS.
A New Edition.
.Among the many editions of the works of this greatest tf
fcnglish Novelists, there has not been until now one that entirely
satisfies the public demand, Without exception, they each have
some strong distinctive objection, either the form and dimensions
of the volumes are unhandy or, the type is small and indistinct
or, the illustrations are unsatisfactory or, the binding is poor or,
the price ts too high.
An entirely new edition is now, however, published by G. W.
Carleton & Co. of New York, which, it is believed, will, in every
respect, completely satisfy the popular demand. It is known as
"Carleton' New Illutrated Edition."
COMPLETE IN 15 VOLUMES.
The size and form is most convenient for holding, the type fa
entirely new, and of a cleat and open character that has received the
approval of the reading community in other popular works.
The illustrations are by the original artists chosen ly Charles
Dickens himself and the paper, printing, and binding are of an
attractive and substantial character.
This beautiful new edition is complete in 15 volumes at the
extremely reasonable price of $1.50 per volume, as follows :
I. PICKWICK PAPERS AND CATALOGUE.
2. OLIVER TWIST. UNCOMMERCIAL TRAVELLER.
3. DAVID COPPERFIELD.
4. GREAT EXPECTATIONS. ITALY AND AMERICA.
5. DOMBEY AND SON.
6. BARNABY RUDGE AND EDWIN DROOD.
7. NICHOLAS NICKLEBY.
8. CURIOSITY SHOP AND MISCELLANEOUS.
9. BLEAK HOUSE.
IO. LITTLE DORRIT.
II. MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT.
12. OUR MUTUAL FRIEND.
13. CHRISTMAS BOOKS. TALE OF TWC CITIES.
4. SKETCHES BY WOZ AND HARD TIMES.
15. CHILD'S ENGLAND AND MISCELLANEOUS.
The first volume Pickwick Papers contains an alphabetical
catalogue of all of Charles Dickens' writings, with their psitioas
in the volumes.
This edition is sold by Booksellers, everywhere and single speci-
men copies will be forwarded by mail, postage free, on receipt of
price, $1.50, by
G. W, CARLETON & CO,, Publishers,
Madison Square, New York.