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Public Library 




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MR. GOGGLES 



BY 



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amd fnm Pkatographi 



MERCANTILE Library^ ' 

NEW YORK. 



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B. W. DODGB & COMPANY 
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1907 



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PUBLIC LIBRARY 

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LOG BOOK OF THE 
ILLUSTRATIONS 



Frontispiece .... By Eliot Keen 

Plymouth Rock— "The Comer Stone of Amer- 
ican Liberty" 14 

The stone is now inclosed in a handsome granite 
canopy, but the gates are opened so that visitors may 
press their feet upon this **Rock of AH the Ages. ' 
One of the most interesting sights in the home of the 
Pilgrims. 

A Sketch of Pl5rmouth in 1620 ... 22 

as near as it can be stirmised from the records, is of 
interest. 

It is reproduced by permission from a copyrighted 
picture owned by Mr. A. S. Burbank, Plymouth, and 
shows the Governor's House somewhat more im- 
posing than the rest, and the others grouped around 
It. 

Clark's Island 22 

Directly opposite Plymouth. A party of the 
Pflgrii^, in a shallop, were driven ashore 'on this 
island in a storm. Not till daylight did they discover 
their exact whereabouts. They nnaUy made their way 
to the mainland and decided to select it as their place 
of settlement. 

In honor of the port in Ens^land from whence they 
had sailed, they named it loymouth. 

'* God hsul sifted three Kingdoms, to find the wheat for 
this planting."— Lofigfr/low. 

Old Church in Atisterfield, England . .22 

attended by Governor Bradford and his friends 

S' i8t prior to the exodus of the Pilgrims to Holland, 
radford was then about seventeen years of age. 



ii The Illustrations 



Paa» 
Birthplace of Bradford 22 

Birthplace of Bradford in Austerfield, Etijjand, 
first Governor of Plymouth, leader and historian of 
the Pilgrims. 

The Old Biuying Ground at Pl3miouth . . 30 

"Beneath thoee ruggpd elms, that yew-txee't thade* 

Whete heaves the turf in many a mouMering heap. 
Bach in hit narrow cell forever laia. 

The rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep. 
The breezy call of incense-breathing Mom, 

The swallow tittering from the straw-buHt shed. 
The cock's shrill clarion, or the echoing hom^ 

No more shall rouse them from their lowly bed.*' 

—Grays EUgy, 

No Spot in Pljrmouth is so interesting to the an- 
tiqtiarian as Burial Hill. It is indeed hallowed 
ground. Here lies all that is mortal of that famous 
Mayflower " band. Here are the graves of Governor 
Bradford, Governor Oarver, Elder Brewster and 
others. It stands on an eminence back of the town, 
where the Old Fort originally stood, and has its en- 
trance to the right of the First Church in America. 

Interior of Pilgrim Hall, Plymouth . . .22 

This is one of the most interesting places in New 
England. Many relics of rare historical importance 
are in this collection and no tourist should leave the 
town without paying it a visit. The pictures of Elder 
Brewster's Chair, the White Cradle, Spinning Whed, 
etc., were all kindly loaned by the Society and per- 
mission granted to use them. 

Among other valuable possessions owned by the 
Society may be mentionea the Sword of Miles Stan- 
dish, an ancient Christenine Blanket, Certificate with 
Autograph Signature of Cord Nelson, Steel Yards, 
Halberds, Samplers, Bead Ptirses, Shoes, Chests, Slip- 
pers, Canes, Hats, Coats, etc., worn by the Pilgrims or 
of that date. Also Letter from Oliver Cromwell, 
Original Wills of Peregrine White, etc. etc. 

The Church of Scrooby, England ... 30 

The old church at Scrooby, England, from which 
William Brewster and his freinds seceded, to form 
the first body of "Separatists." 

Drawn by William Holman at Scrooby and kindly 
loaned bv the Pilgrim Sodetv. 



The Illustrations iii 

Page 

The First Church in America of the Pilgrims 30 

, The first church of the Separatists or Pilgrims was 

organized under the leadership of William Brewster 
( w;erwards Elder Brewster^ — at his home in Scrooby 
Manor, England. Here in his drawing-room on 
Sundays gathered together for divine service a small 
company of men and women determined to be for- 
ever free in their expression of religious devotions. 

This organization, after removal, established the 
First Church in America, as it was called. It is still 
in existence and occupies a stately edifice in the old 
town of Plymouth. It has piously preserved its rec- 
ords in unbroken succession from the days of Robin- 
son and Brewster to the present. It is well worth a 
visit. 

Home of the Great Captain of the Pilgrims, 38 
Miles Standish, near Duxbury 

Where he lies buried no man knows, but it is be- 
lieved to be in Harden Hill in Duxbury which is now 
marked by a group of large boulders flanked on all 
four sides by cannon. 

Home of John Alden and Priscilla ... 38 

"Archly the maiden smiled and with eyes over numing 

with laughter, 
Said in a tremulous voice, " Why don't vou speak for 

yourself, John?*' 

In Longfellow's beautiful poem, **The Courtship 
of Miles Standish," the romantic story of their love- 
making is told. The house to whidi he took his 
young bride is still standing and can be seen a short 
distance from the railroad track near Duxbury. 

Some Interesting Relics of the Pilgrim Fathers 38 

Cradle of Peregrine White, first white child bom in 
New England. This interesting event happened 
while the Mayflower * ' was still at anchor in Province- 
town Harbor. 

Chair belonging to Elder Brewster. 

A Spinning wheel of the time of the Pilgrims. 



iv The Illustrations 



Pa«e 

Monument on Captain's Hill, Duxbiiry . . 38 

In honor of the Pilgrim's intre^nd fighter, Captain 
Standish. 

Forefathers' Monument 38 

A gigantic marble column erected on Burial Hill, 
and dedicated to the immortal company of the 
"Mayflower." The name of every passenger is in- 
scribed on the square tablets on the colunm. 

The Governor Benning Wentworth Mansion 

at Portsmouth, N, H. . .46 

Reginald Wentworth, Lord of the Manor of Went- 
worth, in Berks, is considered the conunon ancestor 
of the Wentworths of England and America. 

Another distinguished member of this family was 
the Marquis of Rockingham, who voted for tne re- 
peal of the Stamp Act and acted with Chatham 
against Lord North. 

Yet it was the enforcen:ient of the Stamp Act under 
Sir John Wentworth, last of the Royalist Governors of 
New Hampshire, which caused the War of Revolution 
and ^ecipitated the ruin of the family estates in 
America. "Long John** Wentworth of Chicago is a 
descendant of this family. 

The Home of Rebecca Nurse at Danvers, Mass . 50 

(still standing) an aged and infirm old lady, univers- 
ally beloved by her neighbors, who was tried for 
witchcraft. 

So ridiculous was the testimony presented that 
the jtiry brought in a verdict of Not Guilty." 
But the frenzied people demanded her life and the 
judge ordered a verdict of guilty. 

Headquarters of Gen. Gage at Danvers . 54 
Birthplace of Nathaniel Hawthorne, Salem, 

Mass 58 

The Wa3rside Inn at Sudbury, Mass. . 70 

** Aa aocieat it this hostelry 
As any in the land may be-- 
Btiilt in the old Colonial Days. 
When men lived in a grander way." 

Celebrated in Longfellow's poems of "Twice Told 
Tales." 



The Illustrations 



Pa8» 

Montunent to Hannah Dnston, Haverhill 78 

This woman's experience while unusually frightful 
was typical of the fate that awaited those who were 
the unfortunate victims of the Indians in Colonial 
days. 

As a prisoner, she was compelled to follow her 
captors many weary days. At length, worn out by 
their exertions to escape the pursuing enemy, they 
sank into an exhaustive sleep. 

Mrs. Duston seized her opportunity. With unex- 
ampled heroism she despatched no less than fourteen 
of her captors. In the confusion which followed she 
made her escape and in due time reached the settle- 
ment of Haverhill. 

Monument at the "Old North Bridge," Con- 

cOTd, Mass 86 

where the advance of the British was finally checked, 
1775. The graves of the first two British soldiers 
kided in the war are at the end of the Bridge. 



Where the Good Gray Poet, John G. Whittier, 

Was Bom 94 

Haverhill, Mass., now a prosperous shoe town. 

Statue of the "Minute Men," Concord, Mass. 102 
Monroe Tavern, Lexington, Mass. . .110 

where the "Minute Men" gathered to oppose the 
advance of the British, 1775. 

Birthplace of Horace Greeley, at Amherst, 

N. H 118 

Pounder of the New York Tribune and the greatest 
of all the anti-slavery agitators. 

The Birthplace of President Franklin Pierce at 

HillsboUD, N. H 126 

Pierce was a great friend of Hawthorne's, both 
being classmates at Bowdoin College. 



vi The Illustrations 

Page 

Interior of President Pierce's Birthplace . • 134 

Note the old Colonial wall paper now coming into 
vogue again. 

Monument to "Minute Men" at Lexington . 142 

"Stand your ground; Don't fire unless fired upon, 
but if they mean to have war, let it begin here." 
Capt. Parker to the "Minute Men" at Lexington, 
Aiwil 17, 1775. 

The Old Manse at Concord, Mass. . . .150 

Residence of Emerson's s^randfather, "The Fighting 
Parson," and where Hawuiome wrote "Mosses from 
an Old Manse." 

Residence of Denman Thompson at Swanzey, 

N. H 166 

Mr. Thompson's great character," Joshua Whitcomb" 
in the "Old Homestead," has been witnessed by 
thousands and is one of the most interesting ' ' B'gosh ' 
plays ever produced. 

"OldManof theMotmtains" . . . .174 

Entrance to Crawford Notch and New Profile 

House, Franconia, N. H. . . 182 

Main Street in Old Amherst .... 190 

Seat of Amherst Oollege, from which Henry Ward 
Beecher graduated. 

Snap Shots 

Owl Head, on the Shore of Bar Harbor . . 194 

View of Camden, Maine 198 

Snrf near Camden .... . . 206 

A Bit of the Berkshires . . . • .214 
Lake Magunticook, Maine 222 



TO THE KING ROW 



MercantileLibrary, 

- NEW YORK. 



Mr. Goggles 

Chafteb I. 

[Wireless Message from Nantucket Lightship to 
Schuyler Van Rensselaer, Union Club, Fifth Ave., 
New York, from the Earl ofDrysdale.] 

On Board H. M. R. M. SS. Lucania, 

Opp^Nantuckbt Lightship, June, 190 — 

Breakfast with me to-morrow, Palm Room, Waldorf, 
Came over rather suddenly. Very important. 

Drtdsalb. 



[Letter from the Earl of Drysdale to Schuyler Van 
Rensselaer at Lenox, Mass.] 

The Waldorf. 

Monday. 
Dear Schuyler: 

I was awfully knocked out to find that after all you 
did not get my wireless, for I have simply a chapter of 
horrors to write you in consequence. 

You remember that little affair at Longchamps 
last summer in which, instead of being ridiculous as 
usual, I came out what you call, I think, a ''winner." 

Well, of course, the fellow was a dreadful cad, as 
you know, to strike her horse the way he did, and if I 
had not caught the beast he wotdd have bolted. But 

5 



MR. GCX3GLES 



any one else would have done the same thing, and when 
he tried to thrash me for my interference it wasn't his 
fault that he didn't know that I was stroke in the 
'Varsity team and the best boxer in Oxford in my time. 

We all make mistakes, you know, and when it was 
all over and she came out of the crowd to shake hands 
and say I was the real thing — ^whatever that means — 
I felt more than repaid, for the look in her face reassured 
me. 

I didn't see her again till one afternoon in London. 
She was very anxious to visit the House of Lords, and 
I passed her, with a party of friends, reading the notice 
at the portal, "This Entrance for Peers, Sons of Peers, 
and Ministers Plenipotentiary Only." 

Dear me, it was a narrow escape! I had almost 
watered when I caught myself and bowed. I belonged 
in London, I said, and perhaps I could serve them« 

She doubted it, because the American Ambassador 
had informed her that no passes could be obtained that 
wotdd admit them before at least six weeks, all having 
been secured up to that time. They were awfully put 
out, as they had booked to sail in two weeks, but wanted 
to see the Lords and Commons very much. 

I could have kicked the attendant who asked, 
*' Shall I get some tickets for your Lordship?" For- 
tunately, the ladies didn't hear, and I said: "If you will 
wait a little I might fix things for you. My governor is 
well known to some of the members. Pardon me a 
moment." 

And I went behind a pillar and wrote an order for 
a pass which I gave to the door-keeper. In due time 
they were ushered in, and I walked, rode or ran over to 
the Marlborough Club, I don't remember which, and 



MR. GOGGLES 



braced my shattered nerves with some Scotch-and-soda. 

Once again, and only once, did I see her. Some 
friends of mine came in from the provinces, and after 
doing Madame Tussaud, I took them to the Tower. 
"That," I said, pointing to the cornice of the Tower on 
the north end, "is the place where Sir Walter Raleigh 
spent many a weary hour walking to and fro." 

"You don't mean our Sir Walter Raleigh," said a 
pleasant voice at my side; "the Raleigh who settled 
Virginia? I'm from the States," she rattled on, and 
then — 

Well, she blushed furiously when I turned around, 
and begged pardon for her intrusion. However, before 
I could regain my wits she had disappeared. 

But that glance decided me, and here I am. 

I sha'n't worry you with my more than Sherlock 
Holmes-like perspicacity in discovering her abiding-place 
and her tdtimate destination. I could not m^e a 
booking on the same steamer, and though I am about a 
week late I am on the same half of the world with her. 

Her father, I believe, is in trade of some sort. Are 
there such things as Tobacco Magnates? And what are 
they? I believe he does something in that line, what- 
ever it is. 

And so I came over here hot-foot to find her. She 
told some of my friends that before going back to the 
tall grass — does she live in the fields? — she was going 
down East to see some of her father's people, and also 
to visit some of the noted places in that part of the 
cotmtry. 

So I thought I too would go down East, and thereby 
hangs a tale. I went to one of those large booking- 
offices where they send people out in droves to see 



8 MR. GOGGLES 



places. "Personally Conducted Tours" is, I believe, 
what fhey call them. 

When inside the office the clerk said: ''The manager 
can't see you before noon." As it lacked only a few 
moments of that hour I decided to wait, wondering why 
the n[ianager wanted to see me. 

Presently the door of the private office opened, and 
before I had time to speak the manager said: "You look 
a likely sort. Ever traveled much?" 

"A good deal," I said, still at a loss to understand 
what next was coming. 

"You remittance men generally have good training, 
and if you'd only let booze alone could do very well. 
If you'U promise to cut it out for three months I'll take 
a chance on you and let you pilot a party through New 
England, starting to-morrow. You get twenty a 
week and found. If that's a go say the word and it's 
settled." 

I was too dazed to know what to do, but I had sense 
enough to know that I was expected to escort a mixed 
party of travelers through a part of the country I was 
anxious to visit myself. 

My heart stood still at the thought of being sponsor 
for a mob of what we call "Cookies" at home. 

"There's some of the bunch out there," broke in the 
manager — "it's a swell party." 

(Hory Hallelujah! In the direction pointed out, Uiere 
stood the object of my search, and it suddenly occurred 
to me that much might be gained by the deal. So with- 
out knowing much more than I have told you, I accepted 
the position, and to-morrow I go to Boston in charge of a 
Personally Conducted Tour through New England. 

I am so thoroughly dazed that I cannot write you 



MR. GOGGLES 



any more to-night. But to-morrow I will tell you for 
the time being you are to be Lord Arthur Drysd^e 
and all the rest of it, while I for the time being become 
Schuyler Van Rensselaer, Manager of a Personally Con- 
ducted Tour through New England, as per advertise- 
ment of Welland & Haymont, Tourist Ticket Offices. 
Till then, Yours, 

Drtsdalb. 

P. S. — ^The manager of the concern suddenly asked 
me my name and I had to say something. I did not 
want to give my real one, of course, but I wanted one 
that sounded real, so, without thinking what I was 
doing, I told him my name was Schuyler Van Rensse- 
laer. And that was what went down on the books, 
and under that awftd appellation I shall live for a few 
days or weeks. 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to John Winthrop, Esq., 
of Winthrop, Morris & Co., Tobacco Manufacturers, 
Richmond, Va.] 

Nbw York. 
You dear old Sweetheart: 

Here we are again once more in the land of liberty 
where every one is as good as the next and a great deal 
better. 

I tell you, pop, this liberty, equality, e pluribus tmuni, 
et cetera, is all to the good — ^for those who like it; but 
I don't mind telling you that there are some things on the 
otiier side that would bear transplanting here to the 
great advantage of dear Uncle Sam. 

Now I am not in love with any particular Englishman, 



lo MR. GCX3GLES 

and I still say "bath" instead of "bawth." But I 
cotddn't help noticing that some things are done better 
in London than we do them in Pittsburgh, Pa., and they 
are the things that cost nothing, too. 

We left Southampton on the St. Patd last Saturday, 
and arrived at Sandy Hook this morning. There were 
the usual ntunber of Somebodies and the usual lot of 
Nobodies who thought they were Somebodies. And of 
course that irrepressible nuisance who saw nothing good 
in Europe and who constantly vociferated that Little 
Old New York was good enough for him. 

Of course patriotism is well enough in its way, and I 
hope you don't think I have lost any of mine. In fact, 
I know I haven't. But I have been visiting our Old 
Home — ^yours and mine, and that of countless thousands 
of other Americans, and such assertiveness struck me 
tmpleasantly. 

How much nicer it was and how much more tactful, 
to have Sir Arthur Pembroke, a well-known mem- 
ber of Parliament, arise, as he did at the conclusion of 
the concert last Wednesday night, to request that the 
glee club (composed entirely of Britishers) would sing, 
out of compliment to the American ship on which they 
was sailing, to the American passengers, and to the 
great cotmtry he was going to see for the first time, 
"The Star-spangled Banner." 

Instantly we all sprang to our feet and cheered first 
for that grand old tune, then for the courteous English- 
man who had proposed it. Tears filled my eyes as we 
all joined in the singing, and I had a queer sensation 
running all through me. 

Popsy, I don't know just what made me do it, but 



MR. GOGGLES n 



when that hymn ended I acttially got on my feet 
among all those passengers and said, with a grandilo- 
quent gesture, meant to conceal my nervousness: 
" Fellow citizens, are we to be excelled even in courtesy 
by an Englishman? " (Cries of " Hear, hear! No, No !") 
" I call for a voltmteer quartette, all Americans, to sing 
•God Save the King!"' 

I tell you. Dad, that made a great hit. Before I knew 
it, I was led or pushed up to the piano amid a whirlwind 
of applatise. When I struck the first bar of England's 
national anthem my nervousness had all disappeared 
and the notes rang out true and clear. Of course every- 
body rose, and sudi a volume of sound went up that my 
poor little playing and the voices of the quartette were 
completely lost. Everybody was delighted and the 
evening wound up in a blaze of glory, so to speak. 

I mention this as an illustration of the courteous 
spirit which met me on every side in England. If it 
contrasts unpleasantly with the spirit of the Little Old 
New Yorkers, I am sorry. 

I shall have much to tell you when I come home. I 
visited many of the places your early ancestors came 
from. I made a drawing of the home of William Brew- 
ster at Scrooby Manor — ^immortalized in the aimals of 
the First Church in Plymouth by the loving title "Elder 
Brewster," and I stood in the same drawing-room where 
so many of the future passengers of the Mayflower were 
wont to gather for divine service on Sunday afternoons. 

That was before they had formally resolved to organ- 
ize a separate church. Later, when they had formed 
the first Congregational Society in the world, they met 
at a quaint little inn called the Saracen's Head. I 
n:iade a drawing of that also and one or two others, 



ij MR. GOGGLES 



Austerfield Church, where Wm. Bradford — ^afterwards 
Governor Bradford of Plymouth Colony — ^was baptized, 
and of Austerfield, where he was bom. 

Besides these 1 have the old Scrooby Church, where 
the Pilgrims formerly worshipped and from which they 
seceded. 

I can't begin to tell you how much all this interested 
and delighted me. I tried hard to get a portrait of the 
Rev. John Robinson, their first pastor, and their only 
pastor till the day of his death. He was a man of sin- 
gular beauty of character and of great liberality of spirit. 

In his great work Brewster was powerfully aided 
by Robinson, who remained steadfast during their exile 
to Holland, their return to England and their final de- 
parture to America. I was delighted to know that this 
First Church, as it was called, is still in existence in the 
little town they founded on the shores of Massachusetts 
Bay — ^Plymoutii, and that the church has piously pre- 
served its records, from the days of Robinson and 
Brewster to the present. 

When I had finally exhausted the treasures of Auster- 
field and Scrooby, I took a run up to Groton in Suffolk, — 
the home of your most illustrious ancestor, the Hon. 
John Winthrop, first governor of Massachusetts and 
leader of the great Puritan exodus that was to found our 
great Republic. 

I have never been absolutely dear about the differ- 
ence between Pilgrim and Puritan. I learned that the 
Pilgrims were for absolute separation from the Church 
of England, while the Puritans thought the needed 
ref om:i8 could be accomplished without such a radical 
step. 

In those dajrs it meant something to incur the dis- 



MR. GOGGLES 13 



pleasure of the royal authority in chtirch affairs. The 
Puritans thought that the Pilgrims, by their more ad- 
vanced position, wotdd bring about a conflict that would 
be ruinous to all. In this respect they were like the 
opponents of slavery in our own ante-civil-war days. 
The Puritans hotly resented being called Separatists, 
just as the anti-slavery men denied being Abolitionists. 

Though the Puritans, like the Abolitionists, were 
weak numerically and in all i>robability might never 
have been strong enough to found a new state, the fact 
remains that the principle for which they both contested 
— religious freedom and the abolishment of slavery — 
became tdtimately the object for which all contended 
and achieved. 

So you see. Popper, you must let me reverence, even 
more than I have, the memory of my great, great, great 
maternal grandmother, even if she did make her bashful 
lover propose to her. 

I wonder if these " Little Old New Yorkers" could go 
back more than twenty years if they tried without land- 
ing in some out of the way place that nobody ever 
heard of before? 

Well, this is a drefful long letter, dear Daddy, but I 
got quite worked up and simply cotddn't help it. 
Your affectionate daughter, 

Hblbn. 



[Letter from Schuyler Van Rensselaer, of Lenox, to the 
Earl of Drysdale.] 

My Dear Drysdale: 

What crazy mal^e-mer scheme has got into your 
head now? 



14 MR. GCX3GLES 



Of course you can use my name, although I have just 
refused a flattering offer from the agent of a large cigar 
concern for a similar privilege. He even showed me 
a huge twelve sheet poster (he called it) of myself » 
large enough to cover the side of a house, inscribed: 

"The Smoke of Quality t" 
Van Rensselaer ugars 
Frequently Goodl 1 
Laigest Seller in the Wotldl 1 I 
5 cts. All Dealers. 

My face (frontispiece, he called it) was framed in an 
oval of bay-leaves H la (}8ssar, Hannibal, and Napoleon. 
My necktie was a vivid red, my clothes of a checker- 
board pattern, and my thumbs were stuck in my arm- 
pits. 

I was to get quite a comfortable sum of money for 
this, besides unlimited "Van Rensselaers" to smoke. 

But I spumed the offer. I gently but firmly informed 
the puryevor of this delectable weed that I could not 
have fame thrust upon me. '* Until I have done some- 
thing of which my cotmtrymen are proud,*' I said, "I 
cannot pose even on a bill board as a celebrity. Do not 
tempt me. Try Knockefeller or J. Pierpont." 

And now you want this valuable privilege for nothing. 
Well, old man, go ahead. I send this note addressed 
to myself as desired. So you start right. 

Let me hear from you soon. The Embassy crowd 
are coming up. Can't you come up for the week end? 

Faithfully, 

Van. 



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iovx. 






MR. GCX3GLES 1$ 



[Letter from Miss Helen Winthrop to her Father.] 

Th» Tourainb, B08TON9 July 5, 19 — 
Your dear O. S. T.: 

That means Old Sweet Thing, stupid, so don't waste 
any more time puzzling over it, for I'm in a hurry to tell 
you lots and lots about itihe loveliest trip I ever made. 

We left New York for Bostom on the Fall River Line. 
You may not believe me, Popsy, but New York is cele- 
brated for some other things besides the fact that it is 
the headquarters of your Tobacco Company. I know 
you don't like me, to make such rash statements, but if 
you had seen that gloi^cjus p$|^j)ly<AC^<>ned towers that 
stood revealed as><i^49?^''mii;j^<^^ glided out into 
the river, I think fcven you wotildr'a^timiit The sun was 
quite low in the ^esfej^^.'ttircfpv; .a.&ery glow into myriads 
of wimdows. The itmosptere Js s6 itwishingly clear that 
the sail which now commenced was far more beautiful 
than aftything I had ever dreamed of even in my wildest 
fancies. 

In a few moments we were out in midstream headed 
for the bay, where the boat swings around the Battery 
on its way up the East River to the Sound. 

And that Bay! Was there ever a more beautiful 
harbor in the world? I simply can't describe 
it. There were great ocean greyhounds coming 
in and|going out. Saucy little tugs dartedj^hither and 
thither. Lumbering ferry boats, crowded to the rails, 
with workers hcmieward bound. Long tows of freight 
cars, coal barges, yachts, motor boats, excursion boats, 
tank steamers, and every possible description of marine 
craft ia endless procession and apparent confusion. Yet 



i6 MR. GOGGLES 



all sailed by "the rule of the road" and everything moved 
in precision. 

As we rounded the Battery we got a glimpse of Ellis 
Island where all the immigraiits land; of the great 
Statue of Liberty; of old Castle William and Governor's 
Island In the distance we could see some war ^ps 
lying off Staten Island, and knew that the ocean — ^the 
deep aad dark blue ocean — ^lay just beyond 

I got busy with my camera, and I will just paste a few 
of these pictures in this letter, which will help you to 
enjoy the trip next year, when you make it again with 
me, for I am determined that you are not going to waste 
all your time making more dollars than you or I can 
ever spend decently. 

WeU, ahnost before you could say it, we were headed 
up the East River. The sight of the great city on both 
sides of the stream was certainly of the keenest interest. 
Just before you come to the Bridge you get a very sharp 
contrast betweem old New York and the new. Below 
Wall Street ferry, there are some houses of Colonial 
days still standing, while directly behind them rise the 
gigantic structures of (the present great financial dis- 
trict. I shouldn't be surprised if your office was among 
them. If so, you should be ashamed to gaze so 
haughtily at the modest, unpretentious buildings that 
were there long before you or your Tobacco company 
were ever thought of. On the right hand side, directly 
opposite, are the immense warehouses of Brooldys, and 
just above them that fashionable part of town known 
as "The Heights." 

They have a new bridge over the East River now. It is 
not very far from the old one, whidi we are now passing, 
and just before you come to it on the New York side is 



MR, GOGGLES 17 



seen one of the many Recreation Parks, for which this 
great dty is famous. On the Brooklym side is the Navy 
Yard. The new bridge ends at the foot of Broadway, 
Brooklyn — bright among the great buildings of the Sugar 
Trust — friends of yours, I suppose. Then, as we go up 
a little further, past the 23rd Street ferry to 34th Street, 
we come to die anchorage of the New York Yacht Qub, 
and almost any evening you can see the boat of your 
special admirer, J. Pierpont. The "Kanawha" belong- 
ing to Rogers of the "System" as Tom says; and other 
beautiful vessels, owmed by New York's great financiers, 
who make this their anchorage, while the owners slave 
pitilessly all day in the stifling heat down town piling up 
money which they do not need. 

We are now fairly well "uptown" as they say in New 
York. On the Brooklyn side is the terminal of the 
Long Island Railroad; just beyond are some im- 
portant plants of the Standard Oil Company and 
various other large manufacturing concerns. Then we 
come to Astoria, where another new bridge is to be 
built. Turning to the New York side again we see the 
top of some of their uptown skyscrapers like the Flat- 
iron, the Times building, the famous Waldorf-Astoria 
and the new Plaza Hotel. We also passed several parks 
and one or two small breathing places such as we saw 
further downtown. A number of breweries, cigar fac- 
tories, piano warehouses, etc., are passed in succession. 

Pretty soon we came to Blackwell's Island, the city's 
penitentiary. It contains also almshouses, workhouses 
and lunatic asylums. It is certainly well kept. Then we 
enter Hell Gate — terrible now in name only, but in 
former years a veritable hell for luddess mariners caught 
unawares in its vortex. 



i8 MR. GOGGLES 



Blackwell's Island is followed by Ward's, Randall's, 
Hart's and North Brother Islands, all devoted to the 
uses of the various departments of the city's poor and 
unfortunate. 

In a few moments we reached the Sound proper and 
were now out on that g^and sheet of water — from three 
to thirty miles wide — which separates Long Island from 
the mainland. 

You feel now as if the trip had only commenced, and 
that what had gone before was only a curtain-raiser, so 
to speak. I have not spoken of the boat itself, dear 
Popsy, but I hardly think Mr. Carnegie in his grand new 
house in New York is any more comfortable. 

The dining room is cheerful and the service good. I 
can eat your New England breakfast of brown bread, 
cofEee and beans, as it is served in our home and enjoy 
it. Yet in a restaurant where the plates are an inch 
thick and the cups have big rough spaces bitten out of 
the edges, I cotildn't eat at all. You tmderstand? 

It isn't like a hotel, exactly, because it's nicer, more 
sociable, more, more— oh, I don't know what to say 
— ^likable — I guess, is as good a word as any. 

They leave at the right time. You have ample leisure 
to enjoy the sights I have described before the shades of 
night render the shore indistinct. By that time the big 
dinner crush is over, and there is an excellent cuisine 
and excellent service awaiting you. The charges are 
reasonable, and the bill of fare embraces all that can be 
desired. 

After dinner I went on deck. We were then about oflf 
Willett's Point, a fort on Long Island where a most in- 
teresting event occurred. 

The orchestra gathered on the top deck. It was then 



MR. GOGGLES 19 



about sundown, and they grouped themselves at the foot 
of the halliards that would soon bring Old Glory to the 
foot of the flagstaff. 

As the sailors began slowly to lower the grand old 
s3ntnbol of freedom the orchestra struck up the "Star 
Spangled Banner." Everybody uncovered, and I tell you, 
Popsy, I never saw anything that moved me just so 
much. I just wished I were a man, ®o I could take off 
my hat, too. 

Toward morning Newport'sTlights are rapidly ap- 
proaching as we sail arotmd old Point Judith and catch 
the beam from Beaver Tail Light. Brenton's Reef 
Light Ship is passed on the right, and the run up the 
bay with the great Government Naval Training Station 
on Conanicut Island on the left has commenced, but is 
over in a very few moments as our boat ties up at this 
celebrated town. 



[A Letter from Helen to her Father,^ 

Dear Dad: 

I sha'n't waste much time on the "400" side of New- 
port. There are hackmen by the dozen who will drive 
you round the town and say with awed voices : "On the 
right is the residence of Mr. Jimmie B. Astorbilt ; it cost 
480,000 million dollars. On the left is the Marble 
Palace of James Jenkins, the Mustard King; just ahead 
is the home of Dinkelspiel Dustinstacks, the Coal Baron, 
etc'' 

A shining trap comes down the Avenue, and you are 
congratulated by the driver on having actually seen, with 
your own eyes, Mrs. Bullionaire, the leader of New York 



20 MR, GOGGLES 



society with her two famous twin daughters, Gertie and 
Sue. Thmkofit! 

You are supposed to be properly impressed with this 
sort of thing, but for my part I declined to listen to it, 
and ordered the cabman to show me the monument to 
Oliver Hazard Perry of "We have met the enemy and 
they are ours 1" fame, or his brother, Matthew Galbraith 
Perry, who first opened the ports of Japan to the trade of 
the civilized world. It is perhaps not too much to say 
that the present proud position occupied by the little 
brown man was greatly hastened by the peremptory de- 
mand from Perry that morning fifty years ago, when he 
secured the first commercial treaty ever made by the 
Mikado for Western trading, and the United States se- 
cured the prize. 

It seems a pity to so dwarf all the other exquisite at- 
tractions of Newport by its social side, that everything 
else is forgotten. A gathering at the Casino attracts 
a crowd of morbid sightseers who act as if it was a 
circus. Yet as a matter of fact, the town has another side 
to it, of equal interest and importance. Ample accom- 
modations for persons of moderate means are easily ob- 
tainable, and the remarkably salubrious climate of New- 
port, which is of course, its chief diarm for the rich, is 
within the reach of many thousands who are kept away 
from Newport just on this account 

I suppose you would insist on living some- 
where on the Avenue, or having a house facing the Qiflf 
walk. But, personally I like the other and much less 
expensive part of town better. But then I*m a Philis- 
tine. 

It IS all very well to make money, dear Dad, but what's 
the use, if you can't spare time to get the good of it? I 



MR. GOGGLES 2t 



keep telling you this all (the time, but you don't bdievc it, 
or won't whidi is the same thing. 

But this trip proves one thing to my satisfaction. It 
is worth more than money to see all the beauties of it, 
no matter if it cost a fortune, whidi it doesnt. You spend 
more for cigars in a week than it all amounts to. 
With lots of love and kisses, 

Yours, 

Helen. 



[Telegram from Schuyler Van Rensselaer to the Same 
at Hotel Somerset, Boston.] 

Lenox, Mass. 
Wilberforce left here in his motor car for a trip along the 
South Shore. Forgot to tell him who you are. 'Ware 
Wilberforce. Van. 



[Telegram from Drysdale to Schuyler Van Rensselaer.] 

Boston, Mass. 
Find Wilberforce and wire him to cut me if we meet, 
Important. Drtsdalb. 



[Letter from Schuyler Van Rensselaer to Drysdale.] 

Dear Drysdale: 

I don't know whether you are aware of it or not, 
but there is absolutely no possibility of keeping up this 
game for any length of time to speak of. 

Wilberforce came up from Washington yesterday 
and has a letter from your young brotherthe Honorable 



22 MR. GOGGLES 



Bradford, and Brad wants to know if you've turned up 
3ret. 

Besides that, your twenty-seven trunks are all at the 
hotel, and one of the pesky things got a hole poked in it 
on the way over. 

That wouldn't be so bad were it not that it has ex- 
posed your coat of arms and monogram embroidered 
on some linen. These are uncommon things for a man 
to wear in these parts and one of our enterprising yel- 
low journals is making out that you have been myste- 
riously made away with. 

I nearly dropped in my tracks this afternoon when I 
heard from the Club window: "Uxtra, Terrible!" and a 
big headline sajdng: 

EARL OF DRYSDALE 
DEADl 

I sent a man out for a copy and was immensely re- 
lieved to find the words "Is the" printed in very small 
letters at the top ! I couldn't see them from the window 
at all, of course, and it upset me dreadfully. I shall 
have to take another Scotch-and-soda. 

Well, of course, that's set the whole town talking. 

I called Brad on the 'phone, and said I knew where 
you were and that you were all right ; also that you would 
turn up in a few days, and for him to stop this infernal 
newspaper talk. Thank goodness, to-night's papers 
are greatly subdued — a mere paragraph saying that 
your whereabouts were no secret and that you had gone 
out of town with some friends, etc. 

So for the present you arQ 3afe, but the deuce take it, 
what about next week? 




OOnriQHT BY A. S. lURBANK PLYMOUTH, MASS. 




Clark's Island. Here the Shallop Landed 




Old Church at Austerfield 
England 



Birthplace of Bradford 




Interior Pilgrim Hall, Plymouth 



YtiJ :.J.' YOhK 
PUBi-iC LIBRARY 

ASTOn, LSNOX 



MR. GOGGLES 23 



The Governor has gone out to Mexico about some 
mines he has down there and has just wired me to join 
him at once. I leave on the Limited to-morrow at ten. 
Wire me what to do. 

Wilberforce, as I wired you this morning, is going 
down New England way, and of cotirse, should he meet 
you, would give the whole affair away. 

I would have told him your story, but bless me, my 
boy, he would never believe it. You know your father 
got him his appointment, and he'd simply die if he 
tiiought he couldf, render ypu any. service, and that's 
what he'd think he ^as. doing, if he .caught you Per- 
sonally Ckmductii^^'aiLytiiiiig tsndt r^ote sacred self. 

Chuck it. Jack,! Tlj^, g^rl'^all right, no doubt, but 
there's bushels of Mso.tip: hem at Leii^x and all dying 
for a title. YoUfs' sincerely; 



Van. 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to Mr. J. Winthrop.] 

Hotel Somerset^ Boston. 
Venerable and Respected Sire: 

I believe I have actually acquired a certain amotmt 
of hauteur in this dear old town that is absolutely for- 
eign to the atmosphere of Pittsburgh. 

This is an intellect town, as I beard a New York man 
say. The streets are so delightftdly crooked that it is 
not unusual for a stranger going down one street to 
meet himself coming up another. 

I hadn't left the Parker House over three minutes 
this morning when I felt myself helplessly lost. I 
wandered around aimlessly for almost an hour before I 



24 MR. GOGGLES 



ventured to ask a policeman where my destination lay. 
That's real Bostonese. In Richmond I'd have said 
"where the hotel was." 

"The Parker House? Oh, yes! Certainly; that's it 
across the street." 

The 179th edition of the Fartners Almanac is now for 
sale on the streets and in the bookshops. For one hun- 
dred and seventy-nine years New England has been loyal 
in her support of this peerless publication. By it the 
fanner sows his seed and reaps his crop. It tells him 
months in advance whether it will rain on the day he 
means to cut his hay, and he plans accordingly. 

The housewife is informed as to the best manner in 
which to prepare Codfish Cakes, Pork and Beans — and 
has been faitfifully so informed every year since 1727. 
Let us hope that the dear old soul will get it through 
her head before the millenium. 

The signs of the zodiac, in all their pristine grandeur, 
are emblazoned on every page. The art of the wood 
engraver — ^who apparently works with a meat ax in New 
England— will never perish from the earth while the 
Fanners Almanac exists. But Timothy Cole, Frank 
Fovder and Frank Frendi had best look to their laurds. 

The phases of tfie moon, the surgings of the tide, the 
proper size for a roasting ear, are all faithfully recorckd 
in ibis delectable volume. The last line is particularly 
toudui^. It informs a waiting world that ''a little flour 
mixed witfi water poured over a bum will rdieve the 
pain.'' 

Dear old Almanac! With all diy &ults we hope you're 
still in swaddling dotfaes and have a long and virtuous 
career ahead. 

There are some other quaint things I have seen, Pop, 



MR. GOGGLES 2$ 



over here in the book line. I think you asked me to get 
you a copy of the old Bay State Psalm Bode and the 
New England Primer. I tried, but they seem to be 
appreciated by somebody else as well as you. The last 
"Bid" as you would say, for a Primer, was something 
like five thousand dollars, with none offered, and the 
Psalm Book is even higher. 

One of the men in your supply department said he 
could duplicate either of them for about seven dollars a 
thousand and give me a much better looking job in the 
bargain — ^"it wouldn't have that bum old-fashioned type, 
and the dirty, yellow, motheaten paper, either." 

Tempted as I was to order a few thousand, I heroically 
declined. Price is not always everything. 

We have been doing the town in "electrics" — ^trolleys, 
they call them elsewhere. The service is very good. We 
went to Bunker Hill, Dorchester, crossed over to East 
Boston in the new tunnel and had a good time generally. 

Not many years ago the Boston man who went as far 
from home as Roxbury, would remark he had been "out 
west." Now, you can't say that truthfully unless you go 
as far as Worcester. 

Write me soon again, Honey. I miss you more and 
more every day, though you don't deserve to be tdd any* 
thing half so nice. 

Helen. 

P. S.— I notice I said Book shops. That's what Gog- 
gles calls them. 



MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to her Father.] 

HoTBL Vbndomb, Boston, August aad. 
Dearest Daddy: 

In your last letter you asked me why I didn't de- 
scribe Boston a little mpre seriously. 

Candidly speaking, Dad, I suppose the reason is that 
it is one of those beautiful and noble cities that one could 
not describe any more than he could describe a O)rot or 
some marvelous sunset that he had seen. 

Still, if you have the patience to read, I should like to 
tell you a little about die interesting places and things 
which I saw in the "Hub of the Universe," as Dr. 
Holmes called it. 

It has another name that I like better — "The City of 
Beautiful Ideals." 

It was planted in prayer, nurtured in faith, and irom 
it have sprung the thoughts and ideals that have nour* 
ished the life of the whole nation. So I think the twen- 
tieth century pilgrim must enter Boston in a mood 
hushed and reverent, as he would enter a temple, and 
perhaps, if he listens, the divine message will come to 
him as it came to tiiose older pilgrims ; a message of a 
truer, simpler life than he has ever known. I have read 
somewhere that on his arrival the visitor to Boston in- 
variably climbs first to the cupola of the State House, 
and ftx>m it gazes out on the beautiful waters of Boston 
Harbor ; but we did not do this. I remember standing 
before Park Street Churdi (though I can not remember 
how we got there) looking up at the edifice and thinking 
it was in this churdi that Dr. Edward Everett Hale, as a 
boy, heard for the first time the singing of "America.** 
Miss Nickerson said that on the site of this church there 



MR, GOGGLES 27 



once stood a huge building called "The Granary." It 
held 12,000 bushels of grain, and it was kept full by the 
town to be sold to the poor at cost, in case of famine. 
The Old Granary Burying Ground, which lies between the 
Tremont building and Park Street Church, must get its 
name from this town granary. Here can be seen the 
granite obelisk which the dtizenft of Boston erected in 
1827, over the grave of the parents of Benjamin Frank- 
lin ; and here lie also the bodies of John Hancock, Samuel 
Adams, Peter Faneuil and Paul Revere. 

From the comer of Tremont and Park streets one 
can see the historic old Common curving in all its beauty 
to the foot of the hill, and if he raises his head he will 
catch his first glimpse of the State House on Beacon 
HiU. 

The State House is the most conspicuous building in the 
whole city. Its cornerstone was laid by Samuel Adams, 
assisted by Paul Revere, in 1795, and three years later it 
was dedicated and occupied for the first time. But, grand 
as it is, it can not occupy the place in the hearts of the 
Bostonians which is held by that little brick structure 
which stands at the head of State street, Bostcm's Old 
State House. 

Here the royal governor and his councillors held their 
meetings before the Revolution, and from its small bal- 
cony were read the royal decrees. Washingfton reviewed 
his troops from its windows, and the State Constitution 
was conceived under its roof. 

It must have been a sad day when the members of the 
state government said farewell to this ancient Capitol 
and marched in formal procession to the new building on 
Beacon Hill. 

It is interesting to know that the land on which the 



28 MR. GOGGLES 



new State House stands was originally a oow pasture be- 
longing to John Hancock, and was purchased from him 
for $4iOoa 

Even dearer than the Old State House to the heart of 
the Bostonian is Faneuil HalL 

In 1742 Peter Faneuil presented it to the town of Bos- 
ton to be used for a town hall and market There in the 
k>wering days preceding the Revolution, the citizens of 
Boston rocked the infant Liberty until it grew large 
enough to sit up and shake its fist at King George. 

When the British occupied Boston in 1775-76, the of- 
ficers used it as a theater. Today it is the h<Hne of the 
Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company, the oldest 
military organization on this continent 

Two objects of the greatest interest to me were the 
dock in the cupola which was presented by the school 
children, and the queer grasshopper weather-vane made 
in imitation of one on the Rc^al Exchange of London. 

Not far f nnn Faneuil Hall stands one of Boston's most 
famous churches, the Old South. 

Here the unhappy Judge Sewall confessed his error 
regarding witchcraft, and here was the starting point of 
the gallant Boston Tea Party. In this church the in- 
fant Benjamin Franklin was baptized on January 6, 
1706. At that time the Franklins lived in a small modem 
bouse on Milk street opposite to the Old South Church. 

The churdi is used now as a museum, and we spent 
an entire morning looking at the Colonial and Revolu- 
tionary relics which it contained. Two places in Boston 
filled me with enthusiasm ; Cbpps Hill and the Old North 
Church. They are neighbors, as is fitting. 

Once the hill was the site of a windmill ; now it is a 



MR. GOGGLES 39 



burial place, and in it rest the bodies of the Mather family 
and many others. 

Quite near it stands the historic Old North Church. 
It is the oldest church in Boston, having been built in 

1723. 

One could spend a day inside looking at the ancient 
organ, the clock, the belfry from which hung the lanterns 
of Paul Revere fame, and th^ wonderful chime of bells, 
the first set cast in America. 

Another old church, full of historic associations, is 
King's Chapel, the first Episcopal church in Boston. It 
was erected in 1689, a small wooden building, which was 
later replaced by the present structure. It was furnished 
by three English kings. Its organ, given by Thomas 
Brattle, was the first large one erected in New Eng- 
land. Here the 'loyalist" gentry attended divine serv- 
ice. 

The governor had a special pew which was lined with 
china tiles and its windows draped in crimson damask. 

In the burial ground which is attadied to the chapel 
lie the bodies of John Winthrop, the Rev. John Cotton, 
Governor Shirley and Lady Andros. 

The literary charm of Boston seems concentrated in 
the vicinity of Beacon Hill. 

In this neighborhood lived Gilbert Stuart, Josiah 
Quincy, Channing, Richard H. Dana, Prescott, Motley, 
and a host of others. Here James T. Fields drew his 
quaint, sweet pictures of human life, and from his room 
overlooking the Charles, his Autocrat neighbor wrote his 
brilliant sketches. Near the Charles, Longfellow wooed 
and won Miss Appleton, and Hawthorne was wont to sit 
at sunset, "watching the vessels dropping down the 
stream. 



30 MR. GOGGLES 



How delightful it is to think that only a few doors 
from here James Russell Lowell gave his charming din- 
ners» and the Jacobins' Qub held its meetings ! 

The charm of that life to me was its simplicity. Think 
of Mrs. Hawthorne walking across the G>nmion with a 
broom in her hand which she had bought, and Mr. 
Whipple in the garden pidcing currants for supper! 

Everybody knew everybody, and in those days there 
was time for friendship. I like to imagine the crowd 
which gathered in the ''Comer Book Store" to discuss 
the politics of the day or Emerson's last lecttu-e. Prob- 
ably Mr. Emerson himself, leaning against the book 
shelves, would give one of his orations which Lowell 
says ''began nowhere and ended everywhere; and yet, 
as always with that divine man, left you feeling that 
something beautiful had passed that way, something 
more beautiful than anything else, like the rising and set- 
ting of stars. * * * He boggled, he lost his place, 
he had to put on his glasses; but it was as if a crea- 
ture from some fairer world had lost his way in our 
fogs, and it was our fault and not his." 

Mr. Goggles and I are reading Dr. Edward Everett 
Hale's book called "Lowell and His Friends," and it gives 
the most fascinating description of old Boston. He has 
such an endianting manner of describing the home life . 
of that period, its diarm and gayety and informality, that 
it seems as if one could never leave off reading it. 

We went to see the homes of Wendell Phillips 
Howells, Edwin Booth, and many others, and one after- 
noon we took a car out to Cambridge and visited Long- 
fellow's old house on Brattle street. Many of his best 
poems were written in this house. It is known as the 
"Craigie House," and is full of historic interest, having 




The Scrooby Church 
at Scrooby Manor, England 




Present Edifice "The First Church in' America" 
Founded by the Pilgrims 



MR. GCXSGLES 31 



been occupied for eight months by Washington, who used 
it as his headquarters. Sixty years later it was given 
to Longfellow by his father-in-law as a wedding present, 
and here he brought his bride and lived until his death. 
Mrs. Longfellow was a woman of great ctdture, and the 
old "Craigie House" was one of the most charming of 
literary homes. 

The portiom of Boston's territory known as the Back 
Bay is well worth visiting. A pleasant way of reaching 
it is to follow the famous ''Long Path" which rims 
from Joy street to-Boylston, and taking the latter thor- 
oughfare pass b^;t^e MaS9aGii<i39e^ Institute of Tech- 
nology, (the Brun^wiidtKdtd/andspiheof the most beau- 
tiful shops in'the:,icity, .and arrive '. finally at Copley 
Square. 

On this magnificent square are the Museum of Fine 
Arts, Tnmty Church, the New Old South, and the 
Public Library, all splendid buildings that appeal tre- 
mendously to the eye and to the imagination. 

The Public Library is a stately and noble edifice, beau- 
tiful without and within. 

The mural art is the work of John S. Sargent, Edwin 
A. Abbey, Puvis de Chavannes, and John Elliott, and 
is dignified and beautiful. 

One could stand for hours in Bates Hall, where every 
table is filled with eager readers, or spend an afternoon 
in the fine arts department. 

The atmosphere of the place is helpful and s}mipathetic 
and filled with life and energy. 

On the southerly side of Copley Square stands the 
Museum of Fine Arts, another center which has a won- 
derful influence over the efttire community. 

The Museum was erected in 1876, and during this 



32 MR. GOGGLES 



quarter of a century a most wonderful collection of 
sculptural casts and paintings has been secured. 

Here one sees paintings by Millet, G>rot, William Hunt, 
George Fuller, John S. Saigent and others. 

One longs for leisure when one visits such a place. 
I did manage to escape from the others and potter about 
for an hour in the "Allston room," where many of Alls- 
ton's most beautiful works are exposed 

One of the custodians told us diere was an art school 
conducted on the third floor, the one above the pictures, 
and I saw several girls, evidently students, in long- 
sleeved blue aprons, strolling in the galleries. How ideal 
it must be to study art in such a place I 

Only a step from the Museum is Trinity Church, whose 
beautiful interior seems still thrilling witli the wonderful 
voice of Phillips Brodcs. 

I suppose architecturally it is the most beautiful church 
in New England. It is wonderfully decorated by John 
La Farge, but one is most impressed by the spirit of the 
place, the spirit of tender hospitality ; it seems to throw 
out divine arms of charity and love to all mankind, as 
did that great spirit who ministered within its walls. 

To stand in front of Trinity Church on a fair, summer 
afternoon is to rejoice. 

Looking across a grassy triangle one sees the beauti- 
ful buildings I have so poorly described, and one which I 
shall not attempt to describe because I can not, the 
New Old South Church. Warm and serene its tower 
rises against the glorious blue of the sky, and the sight 
is a thing one can never forget. It seems to lift one out 
of the dusty earth into the Heaven towards which it 
points. 

Behind the library lies the Back Bay Fens with its 



MR. GOGGLES 33 



quaint poplar trees and low picturesque bridges, and mot 
far distant is the river and Harvard bridge. It is pleas- 
ant to stand on this bridge at sunset and look at the 
spires and roofs of the oollege town and then down at 
the placid Charles. 

How Dr. Holmes loved this river, and what comfort 
and inspiration he must have derived from its peaceful 
waters! 

August 23rd. 

Yesterday was a long, rainy day, which I spent almost 
wholly in writing to you. Today as I read over the 
pages, I find I have left out several places which are 
sure to be of interest to my dear old Dad. These are the 
Chamber of Commerce, the Old County Court House, and 
Bunker Hill Monument (my dear, think of my forget- 
ting thatl) 

Mr. Goggles says that the Chamber of Commerce is 
one of the most beautiful buildings he has ever seen. It 
is made of a lovely pink granite, and has a granite crown 
on its head, which I suppose gives it the dignified name 
of "King of Boston Buildmgs.'' 

I believe that the Chamber formerly occupied rooms 
in Quincy Market, but they were very anxious to have 
a suitable building, and how glad they must have been 
when Henry M. Whitney donated the land on which this 
beautiful building is placed ! 

Far different in character, but to me more interesting, 
is grim Old Court House which frowns out at me from 
behind the Oty Haai. 

You will remember some of the historic trials which 
took place within its walls, and here it stands today 
scowling down on the hustling, bustling people of the 
twentieth century. 



34 MR. GOGGLES 



We are only going to sp^id a few hours at present in 
Boston. Our guide has mapped out quite an original 
plan for us which I am sure will be very interesting. 

Prom here we take a train on the Old Colony Road 
to Provincetown — ^the end of Cape Cod. 

This little town rejoices in the honor of having first 
received the Mayflower and its immortal passengers. 
There is a society formed for the purpose of collecting 
funds for the erection of a monument commemorating 
this event, but they seem to be very slow about it. 
Perhaps the rest of us don't know about the project or 
it would grow faster. It is certainly a meritorious 
object. 

However, that is the idea. To follow in the footsteps 
of the Puritan and Pilgrim in New England, and I like 
it tremendously. 

By the way, I wish you could find a place for this 
guide of ours when the season's over. He seems quite 
an intelligent young man and has evidently had a decent 
bringing up. He speaks French and German very 
nicely, I believe, and but for one fault would be ahnost 
ideaL He affects at times a manner that does not com- 
port with his real station in life. 

For instance, he sometimes forgets such little details 
as getting us newspapers, time cards, etc. Once when 
I spoke about this he said his man always attended to 
these things, and then checked himself as if he had made 
a slip, and blushed violently. 

Also he seems to have a perfect mania for canes. He 
carries one with him constantly. He has also a rather 
odd way of wearing a certain large ring on his finger. 
The seal side is always worn inside the hand. It is a 
very unusual style of ring, for I saw it once when he 



MR. GOGGLES 35 



wa^'t looking. It is very elaborately engraved and 
looks like one of the kind you hand down from father to 
son from the third to the fourth generation. I should 
like to have seen it closer, but just then he turned the 
seal back to the inside and I lost the chance. 

Nevertheless, I cannot say too much in praise of his 
uniform courtesy to me at all times and under all cir- 
cumstances. He is a veritable storehouse of informa- 
tion regarding New England history and has no end of 
anecdotes and stories concerning the people and their 
early lives. I suppose though, that is his business, and 
if so he certainly is up to his line. 

It was his idea to follow the exact footsteps of the 
Pilgrims. For that reason we shall skip Boston for the 
present. We shall take a sail boat at Provincetown 
and explore the shores just as the Pilgrims did before 
they finally landed at Plymouth. 

I never knew that they landed anywhere else than at 
Plymouth, but Mr. Goggles, that's his name, seems 
to have ever3rthing at his finger's ends, yet calmly 
admits that he never studied Colonial history in his 
life. 

Well, he is certainly a most interesting young man, 
and I do hope you can find something for htm to do by 
the time the season's ended. Otherwise he may go to 
California or the South of Europe, and that is a dis- 
agreeable thought, I am sorry to say. 

We leave this morning for the Cape. 

Yours, 

Hblbn. 



36 MR. GOGGLES 



[Telegram from Drysdale to Van.] 

Boston, Mass. 
Schuyler Van Rensselaer: 

Don't leave New York till you get my letter if you 
can possibly help it. Can't cable Bradford or write 
Wilberforce. Particulars by mail. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Schuyler.] 

Dear Van: 

Your letter about that infernal newspaper business 
came to hand. 

Isn't it disgusting? Why can't a fellow disappear 
for a few days without everybody getting curious about 
it? 

I'm glad you wrote as you did, for a branch of that 
same newspaper printed here copied the silly stuff the 
next day with the addition of my picture (?) 

Oh, you should have seen it, Van! You know I'm 
not conceited, but surely I look better than a policeman 
who endorses Be-tu-na for Catarrh, Blackheads, Suicide 
and Broken Necks. 

Yes, that's what they did. I found it out afterwards. 
They had a "hole" to fill in that particular issue and 
cut the portrait out of an old patent medicine adver- 
tisement. 

I'm glad I got your note first or this would certainly 
have got on my nerves. 

But, never mind. The thing has quieted down now — 
thanks to your coolness — ^but what if it should break 
out again and you in the wilds of Mexico ? 

Think of that, Van! You wouldn't leave me in the 



MR, GOGGLES 37 



lurch like that, old fellow, would you? Just imagine 
what is liable to happen. Cable from father to the 
British Ambassador, who owes his berth to the Governor. 
— ^asking him to start an immediate investigation. 

Bradford comes out on the next steamer. My trunks 
are broken open and searched for a clew. And, horrors, 
my real photograph — ^with a special double coltm:m cut 
showing my monogram — will adorn that awful paper 
again. 

Van, the thing is not to be thought of. You don't 
have to go near that beastly mine. Sell it to me. I 
don't know what it's worth and don't care. Only don't 
go near it. What is it you say over here ? Aw — ^forget 
it! 

That's it. Van. Forget it. Don't even think that it 
ever existed. Wire me, cable me or send a special train 
saying you have accepted my terms. 

Anytiiing to relieve the anxiety of 

Your distracted 

Drysdalb. 

P. 8. — She grows more lovable every minute. Van. 
she's worth all the mines in Montezuma and Johannes- 
burg thrown together. 

Her father it seems is a Southerner by birth — 
descendant of old John Winthrop, I believe. Same 
name, so I suppose it must be. 

He's one of those great Captains of Industry you 
hear about — ^had something to do with the Tobacco 
crowd, or something like that. 

Anyhow, she isn't the poor and lovely maiden — in a 
worldly sense — I took her to be. I'm sorry for that, 
as I have more than enough for both. 

She's here purely on an errand of love. Love for her 



38 MR. GOGGLES 



country. Here is where it began, she says, and here 
it had its most romantic period. 

She is singularly interesting when she talks of the 
early days in the Colonies. My, but wouldn't she just 
revel in that bundle of old papers we have in the strong 
box at home! Why, I don't believe there was a noted 
character in these parts, from the landing of the "May- 
flower" down to the evacuation of the British from 
Boston, who isn't mentioned somewhere among them. 

Oh, Van, she's lovely! 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to her Father.] 

Hotel Tourainb, Boston. 
To the Honorable the Great Captain of Industry: 

Dear Sir: Not a line from you for a week. Whafs 
that? The office wrote me by every steamer? Well, 
what if it did? Do you suppose I like to get a letter 
from you signed with a rubber stamp, although you are 
at particular pains to inform me that it is '^dictated by 

/. w.r 

Now, that's where you differ so greatiy from Goggles. 
He couldn't think of doing such a tiling — ^I just know 
he wouldn't. Funny, isn't it, how some men understand 
women and others don't? 

We are meeting with all kinds of surprises in this 
land of thrift and economy. Last night, while waiting 
for a Cambridge Electric, we dropped into a drug store 
for a hot soda. While waiting to be served in walked a 
customer who sought ito save the $2.00 charged for a 
doctor's visit by having the drug clerk prescribe for him. 

People who go to apothecaries to have their diseases 





Home of John Alden and Priscilla 



Home of Miles Standish 






Monument at Duxbury to Pilgrim Spinning Wheel Forefathers' Monument 
Captain Standish Plymouth 





The Old Burying-Ground at Plymouth 



Cradle of Peregrine White 

The First White Child 

Born in New 

England 



; THE NEW YORK 
PUBLIC LIBRARY I 

jurroR, LSMox 

TILUKN FOUNDATICHttSl 



MR. GOGGLES 39 



prescribed for^ occasionally get very strange diagnoses. 
This patient remarked, ''I seem to have something queer 
in my stomach, and I want you to give me sometfiing 
for it'' 

"What are your symptoms ?*' the apothecary asked. 

"Every little while something seems to rise up, and 
then settles back again, and by and by it rises up again.'' 

The apodiecary put his chin in the palm of his hand, 
and meditated a while. 

"Look here!" he said, gravely. "You haven't gone 
and swallowed an elevator, have you?" 

The introduction of eleetriciistreft-cars into this staid 
old town gave rise to much discti^sion as to the danger 
attending such swift methods of locomotion, and some 
amusing things^^J^veibeen said, by timid passengers. 

One day the driver of one of the cars carelessly al- 
lowed his car to bump against the cars in front of him 
with sufficient force to give the passengers quite a shaking 
up. Before another start could be made an old lady 
jumped to her feet and hurriedly left the car. 

As soon as she found herself safe on the ground she 
turned to the conductor, and, quivering with fright and 
indignation, said : 

"That's the last time I ever will get in one of them lec- 
tric cars, and I don't care if you tell the company so!" 

Had he been a New York conductor he would have 
simply floored the dear old lady with profanity and 
abuse. Being a Boston production he politely touched 
his cap and said respectfully, "Yes, ma'am." 

Funny what a diflference there is between the two 
breeds. 

We spent the evening at Longfellow's Home and saw 
his study pretty much as he left it James RusseH 



40 MR. GOGGLES 



Lowell, Tho6. Wentworth Higginson, aad a number of 
other notables, were neighbors of his. Cambridge is 
rather interesting om the whole. The ehn under whidi 
Washington took command of die Continental Army is 
still standing, and has to be protected by an iron fence or 
relic hunters would carve it up piece-meal. 

The beautiful grounds of Harvard Collie, the splen- 
did structures of its numerous buildings, are, of course, 
the chief objects of interest. The town is not, to my 
mind, quite so picturesque and impressive as Oxford, but 
nevertheless it has the atmosphere of a literary place and 
we felt well repaid for our visit 

I am going for a short run tomorrow somewhere in 
the '1)ack districts." We shan't stop long anywhere — 
just make a passing visit to a number of small towns. 

Till I write again. 

Helen. 



^^etter from Miss Winthrop to her Father. I 

My dear old Popsadoodles: 

Here we are at Provincetown — ^the landing place 
of the Pilgrims. Just think of it I 

The breaking waves dashed high 

On a stem and rock-bound coast, 
And the woods against a stormy sky 

Their giant branches tossed. 

Aye, call it holy ground. 
The sod where first they trod; 

They have left unstained what here they found- 
Freedom to worship God I 



MR. GOGGLES 4X 



Mr. Goggles — ^that's the name of our guide, Schuyler 
Gogglee — ^has proved a veritable mine of information 
concerning this absorbingly interesting trip. He 
pointed out to us the spot in the harbor where the 
gallant little "Mayflower" probably anchored, and 
told us of the stormy passage she encountered, whereby 
she was driven many hundreds of miles out of her course 
and was finally obl^ed to n:iake a landing on Cape Cod 
instead of Delaware River, as at first intended. 

Danger and disaster were their constant companions 
all the weary voyage. Two vessels started out to make 
the perilous voyage — the "Speedwell" and the "May- 
flower." The "Speedwell" proved unseaworthy and 
was obliged to return. The "Mayflower" wotdd have 
foundered in mid-ocean but for a huge iron screw which 
one of the passengers brought from Delft and which 
served to hold together a beam amidships which had 
given way and threatened to sink the little vessel at any 
moment. Doesn't it seem as if nothing but the Provi^ 
dence of God enabled these poor people to accomplish 
the voyage in safety? 

I want to write quite at length, dear Popsy, on this 
subject while I am here on the ground and under the 
influence of the stirring events which I record. You 
may find this letter prosy on that account, but save it 
for me an3rway, as some day I may write a book, and 
it will make splendid reference. 

When the "Mayflower" finally came to anchor, they 
had no means of getting ashore except by wading. The 
water here in the bay is very shallow for quite a distance 
from the shore. Bradford's History says: "a bow 
shoot"— or as far as an archer could send his arrow. 
Many caught cold from this exposure, and all suffered 



42 MR. GOGGLES 



severely. This experience undoubtedly laid the foun- 
dation for the terrible sickness that was soon to come 
upon them at Plymouth. 

Before landing they signed a sort of an agreement 
among themselves, setting forth the rules under which 
they would govern their community. This Compact, 
as it is called, was signed in the little cabin of the ship 
by such men as Elder Brewster, Wm. Bradford, Myles 
Standish, John Alden, Edward Winslow, William Carver 
and others whose names are now immortal. 

I don't believe the American people recognise the 
importance of this Compact, or how much it did ulti- 
mately in the struggle for freedom. Its language is 
very much like the preamble to our Constitution, and as 
a forerunner of the Declaration of Independence its 
resemblance is prophetic. I bought a copy at one of 
the small souvenir stores, where I also became a member 
of the Cape Cod Pilgrim Memorial Association, which 
proposes at some future day to erect a monument at 
Provincetown to commemorate the Landing. Mr. J. 
Henry Sears, of Boston, is President of this organization, 
and you ought to send him a subscription. 

Isn't it strange that Massachusetts, which is so deeply 
interested in its Colonial History, makes no effort to 
celebrate "Compact Day?" It occurs November aist, 
ahnost the same week as Thanksgiving, and I think 
ought either to be combined with that occasion or have 
a little attention paid to it on its own account. Lincoln 
said the signing of the Compact did more for the cause 
of humanity "than that day at Runnymede." 

The Cape Cod Society, by dint of hard scratching, has 
raised about ten thousand dollars; the State agrees to 
give twenty-five thousand dollars additional when the 



MR. GOGGLES 43 



society raises a like amount. It certainly ought not to 
be difficult to accomplish so worthy an undertaking, if 
its purpose were only more widely known. Speak to 
some of your old New England lads in the West about 
this for me, Daddy, and I will give my candy money for 
a month. 

Well, the Pilgrims had to spend almost five weeks seek- 
ing a suitable landing place. The neighborhood around 
Provincetown and Truro was thoroughly explored, but 
with no result. Finally the fourth attempt landed them 
on Clark's Island opposite Plymouth. 

Great events sometimes hang on slender threads. A 
fearful gale overtook the shallop on this voyage and 
threatened its destruction; the pilot knew nothing of 
the coast, and they were on the point of beaching the 
boat in a cove full of breakers when one of the sailors 
bid them "about with her if they were men, or else they 
would all be lost." So that the fortunes of the Great 
Republic hung at this critical moment on the brawny 
arms and cool-headedness of a nameless mariner. 

Think of that, dear Popsy, you who sometimes say 
the country will be lost tmless some particular party is 
put in power, or the gold standard is maintained, or the 
tariff kept up, etc. 

Not tmtil friendly daylight came did they know they 
were on an island. And with the stm came renewed 
courage. Being Saturday, they dried their buff coats, 
cleaned their arms of rust, and, as Bradford says, "re- 
paired to keep ye Sabboath." 

History does not tell us how the adventurous eighteen 
passed their first Lord's Day on Clark's Island. One 
writer says, very simply," Wee rested " ; and his language 
reappears on a tablet of imperishable rock at the highest 



44 MIL GOGGLES 



point of the island, which Mr. Stanwood took us to see. 
It reads: 

On The 

Sabboath Day 

Wee 

Rested 

9o December 

1620 

Having selected their final landing place the explorers 
returned to the "Bfayflower*' to conduct the rest of the 
party thither. 

During their absence a great sorrow had come to 
Governor Bradford. His beautiful young wife, Dor- 
othy, had fallen from the deck and was drowned. Per- 
egrine White, the first white child bom in New 
England, opened his eyes under the dear blue skies of 
Provincetown Harbor. Thus Life and Death were al- 
ready at work among the Pilgrims. 

Wasn't it a singular coincidence that Captain John 
Smith, who had visited this part of New England some 
years before, had given the exact spot where the Pil- 
grims landed the name of Pl3nnouth? 

The Pilgrims, unaware of this fact, gave it the name 
Plymouth in honor of the last English port from which 
they sailed. 

Popsy, dear, I can hardly write you the story of their 
terrible sufferings during the first winter. It makes 
me cry to think of it. A terrible plague, like sickness, 
came upon them. Nearly half their number died. 
They were threatened witii massacre by the Indians; 
yet at a time when only seven men were capable of 
bearing arms, Captain Standish defied Canonicus to do 



MR. GOGGLES 45 



his worst, jtist as if he had the whole of otir regular army 
at his back. 

Bradford tells how the passengers of the good ship 
"Aim/'which came over two years later,were affected by 
what they saw when they first set foot in Plymouth. 
They were met by a band of haggard men and women 
meanly appareled and in some cases little better than 
half naked. The best dish they could set before their 
friends was a lobster or a piece of fish with com bread 
and no other drink than a cup of water. Some of the 
newly arrived fell weeping; while even the joy of meet- 
ing friends from whom they had long been separated 
could not dispel the sadness felt at beholding their 
miserable condition. Sickness had come to all and 
death to many. 

Nevertheless town meetings had been held, civil 
government organized and Thanksgiving Day ap- 
pointed by Governor Bradford. The history of our 
cotmtry bad begun. 

I have quoted a good deal from Governor Bradford's 
History, and I must tell you something about this re- 
markable document. 

No one in our cotmtry knew that such a work existed, 
By accident it was discovered some few years ago in the 
Bodleian Library at Oxford. How it came there or 
why it should have lain there unrecognized for nearly 
three centuries no one can explain. 

And here again the English performed one of those 
delightful acts of courtesy upon which I have already 
commented. Although they have a deep and abiding 
interest in a settlement that in those days belonged to 
the Crown, they recognized the strong desire our country 
had to possess this document. So through our Minister 



46 MR. GOGGLES 



at the Court of St. James the precious volume was re- 
turned to the Governor and Company of the Massachu- 
setts Bay in New England, and now reposes in the State 
House in Boston. 

To-morrow we shall follow further in the footsteps 
of your ancestors. We sailed over from Provincetown 
this morning in a modem shallop and landed where the 
Pilgrims did in Pl3nnouth late this afternoon. 

I am tired to-night, dear Popsy» so will go to bed 
early. Mr Goggles proves a most interesting eater- 
tainer. 

Your loving daughter, 

Hblbn. 



MR. GOGGLES 47a 



Sagamore Beach Hotel, Cape Cod, 
Sagamore Beach, Mass. 
Dear Popsy: 

Thanks many times for the comforting wire received 
from you this morning. In the language of that univer- 
sal favorite in this part of the country — ^the old Farmers' 
Almanac — ^the moon is in the Perihelion when I hear 
from you, and the weather is rainy, hot, cold, dry with 
rain or sudden snowy, sultry weather. Also, Caeser died 
B. C. 41 144. ^ 

Knowing that in your heart of hearts you cherish a 
secret liking for that lively compendium of agricultural 
wit, humor and wisdom, I am going to quote you some 
of the helpful hints from one I noticed hanging by a red 
string in the kitchen of a farm house where we stopped 
for lunch yesterday: 

"Bee-raising is a good side Une for the 
farmer, especially since the swell restaurants 
have made a specialty of fried bees' knees. 
Such a beesnessl 

Being a farmer's wife is an acquired taste, 
Hke olives. 

At first a woman hates farm work, grad- 
ually she gets used to it, and just as she com- 
mences to reaUy eat it up, she usually dies. 

To get rid of grasshoppers, rub their hind 
legs thoroughly with machine oil. This will 
make them so supple and lively that they will 
jump themselves to death. 

To get rid of katydids the best plan is to 
stay up all night and contradict every state- 
ment they make. By morning they will be 
so annoyed and petti^ that they wiU cease to 
speak. The next evening, however, they will 
be at it good and strong again. 

Guinea hens should have axle grease rubbed 



48a MR. GOGGLES 



on their vocal chords three times a day. 
If this does not improve the liquid qttality 
of their tones, tie their necks into a true 
lover's knot and let it go at that. 

Holes. Large demands are heard from all 
parts of the country for holes and where to 
get them. Let the farmer be guided by our 
experience in the selection of holes. Post holes 
may be had at wholesale qtiite as cheaply as at 
retail, and early orders insure prompt receipt 
of the holes. Or, if the redolent farmhand is 
handy with the pile driver, let him take about 
four feet of the morning atmosphere (be sure 
there are no mockingbirds in it) and placing 
it on end, drive it perpendicularly down where 
the post is desired. 

Decency in farming. It is time to call a 
halt on the indecent habit, alas too common 
among the middle and northern east, of expos- 
ing to passers-by the naked trees with their 
naked branches. After the trustful tree has 
yielded its all to your harvest, why leave it 
naked to shame the beholders? 

Oommon gratitude would suggest providing 
some attire that would relieve their embarass- 
ment, and we commend this thought to all 
who have the first spark of humanity in them. 

Tools. The care of garden tools is a matter 
which every good earth-worker appreciates. 
When, in the early spring, the hands are at 
leisure, and their feet are still, then the pru- 
dent and foresighted yap shoos his trusty 
helpers toward the cold and uninviting tool- 
house, and there amidst the reek of fertilizers 
and the stench of decayed greenbacks from 
last year's profits piled with the rest of the 
farm refuse, in the qtiiet of the long spring 
days, he readjusts the delicate mechanism of 
the garden tools. 



MR. GOGGLES 49a 



Many costly methods are employed by the 
farmers of this country to keep squabs from 
getting pigeon-toed» but we have never found 
a better method than early instructing the 
young bird in the beauty and grace of the 
regular military carriage. Go to the barn- 
yard each morning, and, if possible, have one 
or more musical instruments to give the 
martial flavor. Forming the squabs in single 
file, march them, toes out, up and down the 
yard. Very satisfactory results may be ex- 
pected in the course of three to six months. 

In raising turkeys, as every one knows, it is 
essential that the backs of the young birds do 
not get wet, as this is fatal. If each one of 
the brood is supplied with an umbrella this 
can easily be avcnded, or mackintoshes and 
rubbers will do. 

A history of the Thaw trial will make an 
excellent fertilizer if the land is strong enough 
to deodorize it. 

Dogs should not be allowed to chew holes 
in their pants. 

A beautiful, restftd effect can be obtained by 
painting the fence blue, the walls of the house 
purple, and the trinmiings a bright vermilion. 

In the dairy it is no longer considered sani- 
tary to bite holes in swiss cheese with store 
teeth. Holes can be bitten in tripe, however, 
with any did kind of teeth as heretofore. 

Jtist because you get milk from cows, do 
not expect a reddish horse to give horse-radish 
or a chestnut horse to give horse-chestnuts. 
There are limits to nature's wonders. 

Never milk ducks when they are moulting. 

Do not prune onion trees too often or they 
will be full of prunes. 

When blackberries are green they are red. 



5oa MR. GOGGLES 



Get out fencing stuff and haul it to the 
ground where it is to be used, thus saving 
• time later. By putting up a good fence early 

in the season, we prevent the stock from ac- 
quiring bad habits of breaking out, which 
they are Hable to do if you begin with an insuf- 
ficient fence. Some fanners send their stock 
to night school in the winter in a vain attempt 
to remedy this evil tendency, but it rarely 
succeeds. Better depend upon the fence. 

We have received so many letters from 
anxious correspondents that we feel compelled 
to answer once for all the question whether 
all that the ground bears should be turned 
into money by the gentleman farmer. Un- 
questionably, yes. Let the liberality of nature 
Une your pockets deep with gold. 

There is the yearly harvest of snow, for 
example, which is in many instances neglected. 
The ground having borne the snow it is time 
to gather. First mow the snow carefully. A 
scythe will do this perfectly well, care being 
used not to dent the earth. Next rake, spread, 
turn and let it bake in the sun. In the early 
evening the frugal husbandman will come o'er 
the lea with a ripe fragrant load of early spring 
snow, which, stacked around on the inside 
c^ the milk cans, will cause an abundant frost 
among the milk customers." 

Mr. Goggles was vastly amused at this production, 
and begged for my copy so earnestly that I yielded to 
his entreaties. I cannot, therefore, send you one, but I 
know you will enjoy reading these extracts. 

I shall be glad indeed when you find it possible to 
return. 

Yours lovingly, 

Helen. 



MR. GOGGLES 47 



Chapter II 

[Telegram from Van Rensselaer to Drysdale,] 

At Plymouth, Mass., Sagamorb Hotbl. 
It isn't the mine I must go to see. It's the Governor. 
He's down with Chs^jres fever. Better come back at 
once or can't tell what will happen. Van. 

(NoTB BT Clbrk at Sagamorb Hotbl.) 
Delayed in transmission. Party addressed gone and 
no forwarding address given. Return to sender. 



[Letter from Van R. to Drysdale,] 

Returned ten days later, marked "Not Potmd." 
Dear Drysdale: 

It was awfully kind of you to offer to take that 
mine off my hands and I would accommodate you in a 
minute, especially as I now know that it won't jrield 
enough ore in a thousand years to pay for the crusher 
we erected before we got through the salted portion of 
the deal. 

But it's the Governor's illness that bothers me. He 
is down with some sort of a tropical fever, and mother 
18 simply wild with anxiety. Jack is on his yacht some- 
where off Labrador — ^he's never where he's wanted — and 
both the girls are abroad. It's simply up to me to go 
and that's all there is about it. 

So you've got to come back and resign your lucrative 



48 MR. GOGGLES 



position. How you can manage to exist without your 
princely income from that source I cannot tell. I need 
^ a man myself and if you could give me a letter from your 
late employers stating that you were a sober, industrious, 
intelligent sort of a cuss — ^hang it, under those con- 
ditions I would agree to give you twenty-five per week 
even though I know in my heart of hearts you are not 
worth it. 

But enough of this airy persiflage. I must go to 
Mexico at once. You must come to New York at 
once and resume your own name and give me back mine. 

Otherwise there will be no end of complications. 
Don't you see, your trunks are here but you are not; 
your mail has been opened by some one who has an ap- 
parent interest in keeping your disappearance a secret. 

That's me, you wretch. I'm liable to be collared in 
Mexico on the charge of niurder — an extraditable 
offence — ^and torn from the side of my venerable parent, 
who will not be helped on to recovery by the shock. 

On the other hand you are liable to the same de- 
lightful programme for impersonating me. If anything 
should happen to me in Mexico you would be blamed. 
Even if nothing happened it would be several weeks 
before they cotdd reach me and receive the necessary 
proof that wotdd liberate you. 

Oh, confound that butterfly chase of yours! There's 
as good fish in the sea as ever yet were caught, and I 
do wish you wotdd come to your senses. 

Heavens! I have just thought of it! Suppose this 
letter should never reach you! You gave me only 
general directions and I'm guessing at an address. 

Well, the result be on your own head. And may the 
fates be land to us both. Au revoir« Van. 



MR. GOGGLES 49 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

Also returned and marked ''Not Pound." 

Plymouth. 
Dear Van: 

I forgot to give you a schedtde of dates, and it just 
occurred to me that in view of recent developments it 
would be just as well to be in dose touch with each other, 
so for the present you had better make it Hotel Vendome, 
Boston, where I shall be within a week. We shall do Ply- 
mouth today or tomorrow, though it is such a fascinating, 
qiiamt little town that I am in no hurry to leave it. 

I've just been thinking what a nice fix we would both 
be in if you shotdd suddenly leave town. You are 
likely to be arrested for impersonating me, and I for a 
similar crime in your case. This might not be bad if 
we were where we could be brought face to face quickly. 
But with a couple of thousand miles between us there 
is the unpleasant possibility of spending a couple of 
weeks in Old Bailey. 

Pleasant x>rospect, isn't it? Well, so far as I'm con- 
cerned I wouldn't mind it, for my Personally Conducted 
Tour has been far more than satisfactory. To be in 
her society for an hour is Worth a year in prison. 

Dear Van, I can't tell you how much I am "gone." I 
thought it was bad enough in London, but it is intensi- 
fied a hundred times over here. She is so gentle, so 
considerate, so 

Oh, hang it! How can you be expected to tmderstand? 
You can't, so there's no use my trjring to make you. 

Well, I'm glad to get this letter off my hands, for 
therell be lots of trouble if I don't. Au revoir. 

Yours, Drtsdalb. 



so MR. GOGGLES 



^tter from Miss Winthrop to her Father \ 

Dear Daddy: 

We are beginning to appreciate the m^y interesting 
tilings that are constantly coming to light on this de- 
lightful trip. Our amiable guide, mentor and friend, 
Mr. Goggles, is not among the least of our novel ac- 
qtiisitions. Some of the tales he weaves make our old 
friend Baron Munchausen appear like a veritable 
mountain of truth and veracity. 

He has been with Stanley in Darkest Africa, with 
Kennan in Siberia, and actually claims to have pene* 
trated regions in Northern China as yet tmtrod by the 
foot of man. But with it all he is the most singularly 
benighted specimen regarding the mysteries of Amer- 
ican slang that I have ever yet encountered. 

It is positively laughable to note the look of puzzled 
blankness that spreads over his face when I use some 
of my High School vocabulary. He is too polite to 
rebuke me and too much of a philological enthusiast 
not to appreciate the peculiar picturesqueness of some 
of my expressions. It is genuinely enjoyable to hear 
his hearty laugh when some particularly atrocious 
specimen is dissected and explained for his edification. 

We are going to let the day go by in idleness. The 
dear old town seems to invite one to repose. So peaceful 
and quiet is the whole atmosphere that one can not 
realize that it should ever have been the theatre of so 
much strenuousness and strife. Yet for the Simple Life 
which the Pilgrims would have lived from choice, the 
selection was indeed a happy one. 

To-morrow I shall write you a decent letter. 

With love and kisses. Your affect, daughter, 

Hblbn. 



THENEWTOBt , 
KJBiiC LIBRARY I 

[xrujEN rooNOATroml 



MR. GCXJGLES 55 



P. S. — ^We spent the evening at a Strawbeny Festival 
given by the Ladies' Aid Society of one of the churches 
here. This mild form of dissipation was a new exper- 
ience for our English champion, and he was as happy as 
a collector who had just secured a new specimen, and 
acted in precisely that spirit. 

There were, of course, the usual Tableaux vivants in 
the basement with the temperature at a fearful emi- 
nence — with Faith, Hope and Charity in various stages 
of perspiration and awkwardness. 

The inevitable "Xprfew Shall Not Ring To-night, " by 
the local eloculionSi;.'w^ ol c6urse jon the programme, 
and was receiv^S'9Ai^ali^w$th avoUey of plaudits and 
smothered malepicticnis^^ : ^ 

And this lead^ aooe ttiliechtf a sentiment propounded by 
our guide. WHy^ do well-meaning parents teach their 
otherwise inoffensive offspring to inflict such atrocities 
as "Curfew," "'Ostler Joe," and other Fourth Reader 
favorites upon the devoted heads of their defenseless 
friends? "Oh, no, I'll never smoke or chew, said little 
Robbie Read," etc., etc. There was one selection 
which I thought was genuinely funny. And it was 
given by a little red-headed freckle-faced lad, who, I am 
sure from the sparkle in his blue eye, thoroughly ap- 
preciated the humor of what he was saying. I asked 
him for a copy as a souvenir of the occasion, and also 
because I thought it would come in handy in another 
way. 

Mr. Goggles sat there with a look of blank amaze- 
ment at the laughter that greeted the young reciter. 
"Oh," he said, with a shade of irritation in his voice, 
"how beastly stupid of me not to know Sanskrit." 

"Sanskrit!" I replied, laughing at his discomfiture— 



S2 MR. GOGGLES 



"that isn't Sanskrit — ^that's United States of America 
up-to-date and including the present." 

"0-w, yesl" he answered in that polite, deferential 
way he has. " 0-w, yes — but I wish I wasn't so stupid. 
I only know eleven languages fluently, and here is 
a bit of America where I can't understand a blessed 
word!" 

"Never mind. When the show's over 111 get the 
original and make you a free translation." 

"Ohl thank you very much," and he looked things' 
unutterable. 

Do you know that young gentleman gets to be more 
and more of a mystery to me. There is a certain amount 
of dignity about him that seems perfectly natural in 
spite of his inferior social position. He takes all my 
persifls^e with the utmost goodness and it is simply 
delicious to hear him say: "Oh, now Miss Winthrop, 
you're ragging me," when I make some rather free 
translation of some "Americanism" which is his decent 
way of characterizing our current slang. 

Well, here are the verses that contributed so much 
to his mystification and to my enjoyment. The piece 
is called 

THE TIGHTWAD'S DOWNFALL. 

Oh, he surely was a tightwad; 'twas a case of pinch and save 
Tin he'd bunched a roll o' green ones, !twoald have gagged the 

Mammoth Oave; 
He had skinned his trusting Papa, he had flim-flammed 

Mamma some. 
He had not a friend remaining in the circle of his home. 
He had gold-bricked Brother Broadcloth — ^fleeced him plenty 

unawares 
Till the man who wore the Alb^ didn't name him in his 

prayers; 



MR. GOGGLES 53 



He had made him go bankrupt, spite of money in his sock, 
And the negfoibors never mentioned him without an awful 
knock. 

Soon he'd got his ill-got ingots to proportions that were fierce — 
Why, he owned bank notes in barrels, and gold bullion by the 

tierce; 
He had silver dollars hidden in the cellar in a bin. 
Yet the way he kept on savin' was the rankest sort o' sin 
But there came his way one morning a sort o' sly an' shifty 

chap. 
With a phony tale o' gold mines and a blue print profile map; 
Sang his warble to the tightwad, done him up, and done him 

good; 
Then he faded from the landscape — now the tightwad's sawing 

wood. 

You can imagine what a time I had trying to render 
this into the English of Belgravia and Majrf air. I finally 
succeeded, however, and I never in my life saw a man 
whose laugh was so infectious and whose appreciation 
of the subtleties of our Yankee slang was so keen. It 
did us all good to hear his loud and hearty gufiEaws — ^and 
I haven't regretted the quarter apiece it cost us to see 
the Strawberry Festival of the Ladies' Aid. 

Fm sleepy, dear Popsy, and must go to bed. This is 
a long P. S., I know, but I just couldn't sleep till I wrote 
you about Mr. Tightwad. Wasn't he just like Uncle 
Ebenfiser? 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van Rensselaer,] 

My Dear Van: 

I wrote you somewhat at length the other day because 
I wanted to enjoy my outing with nothing to disturb 
me. It would be deucedly awkward to have a sudden 



54 MR. GOGGLES 



hullabaloo raised about my absence, hence my some- 
what lengthy epistle. I suppose you received it all 
right, for I have heard nothing to the contrary. 

This trip is developing into the most romantic and 
delightful set of experiences imaginable. Miss Winthrop 
is deeply interested in everything she sees, and I too 
cannot help but feel an awakening when I walk the 
"holy ground." 

The very old places are deeply interesting. The very, 
very new possess a charm also, but the in-betweens are 
something to pray over. 

At some period or other in this country the architects 
and householders must have had a period of temporary 
insanity. Every once in a while you come upon a resi- 
dence with all the possibilities imaginable, but utterly 
ruined in the design and arrangement. I have tried 
in vain to give a name to this peculiar period. It is not 
Colonial, Romanesque, Renaissance, nor French. It is 
a strange commingling of the worst features of all with 
none of the best. The Mansard roof with ginger-bread 
trimmings of the most ridiculous conception are the 
leading "motifs." The clever writer who described 
good architecture as "frozen music" has been para- 
phrased by another who calls mediocre architecture 
"frozen rag-time." Even the latter term but ill de- 
scribes the feeling of cheerlessness, forbiddingness and 
utter loneliness exuded by these moments of an 
imbecile period. 

Nothing could exceed the chill of the "best" room 
in one of these houses. It was rarely used except when 
"company" came, or for ftmerals. The odor of dead air 
and dampness was oppressive. When we glanced at 
the stem and sotemn array of horsehair furniture, black 



THE «EW YOBI 
PUBLIC LIBRARY 

ASTCR, LESOX 
TILwEN FOUNUATIOIW 



MR. GOGGLES 55 



walnut bureaus, chairs and table, there was little to in- 
spire a cheerful spirit. 

Even the quaint and pretty custom of working 
"samplers" in Colonial days had here gone to seed. 
On the walls were monstrous worsted mottoes setting 
forth in glaring and outrageous colors some such lugu- 
brious refrain as "Give us this day our Daily Bread." 
"He Giveth His Beloved Sleep," etc. They were, 
however, a consistent accompaniment to the inevitable 
crayon portraits of the lord and lady of the house 
which glared at you from conspicuous comers of the 
room and sta^«|:the beholder with the ferocity of their 
expression. I ''1^.^ >dif^tl w0tidered if a child cotdd 
throw its arms in loving embrace arotmd any person 
possessing such st^q^leatures. 

The mantelpiece too, was a study in itself. It was 
usually decked out with the most amazing collection of 
daguerreotypes bound in brass that mortal eye has ever 
seen. One that I noticed particularly portrayed the 
yotmg lady of the house at an important period in her 
career. 

The skirt was like a balloon and she leaned ecstatically 
on the arm of a young man. Between them was a huge 
voltime, bearing, in conspicuously large type, the title 
"Poems of Love." His broad, checked "Spring "bot- 
tom" trousers, a very low-crowned derby and extremely 
shiny hair (plastered over his left eye in on one grand 
all-compelling curve) proclaimed him beyond doubt a 
Beau Brummel of the vintage of '69. 

In an inspired moment these young persons had had 
this picture "touched up" in color. This was evidently 
done by a house painter, for nothing now remained of 
the color but a hectic flush on the cheeks of one and a 



S6 MR. GOGGLES 



strand of shining gold on the waistcoat of the other. 
The latter evidently was sacred to the memory of his 
watch chain. 

A ntimber of other objets (Tart adorned the manteL 
A mortuary card framed in black, containing a weeping 
willow and an unnecessarily large lock of the dear de- 
parted's hair» stood in one comer; a large sea shell and 
some red beaded work flanked the other. Scattered 
promiscuously over the rest of the mantel space were 
tintypes of Uncle Josh, Cousin Hiram, Aunt Minerva, 
Maw and Paw. Some ancient steel plates from Godey's 
Ladies' Book, of a lachrymose order like "The Wounded 
Bird" and "The Favored Swain" completed the art 
part of the mantel ensemble. 

The fire-place had originally been made for a Baltimore 
heater* but the march of improvement had caused the 
introduction of a furnace into the cellar. On mild, 
balmy days this ftimace I learned, would send forth 
such a torrent of hot air as would melt even the heart 
of the man who designed the wonderful carpet which 
covered the floor but not the register. 

On cold days, however, this same roaring, shrieking 
furnace became as a timid, shrinking violet. Nothing 
could induce it to make its presence felt. It practically 
as well as figuratively, gave you a frosty welcome. 

The wall paper was something I can neither forget nor 
forgive. I remember looking at it furtively, hoping 
that it would at least stay where it was till I left, and I 
have a dim recollection of a great sense of relief when I 
made my escape and it was still there. 

I have often wondered what specimens of the human 
family dwelt in these curio halls and fondly called it 
home. I often wonder if it was the sort of person who 



MR. GOGGLES 57 



was chronicled by the local papers as the ''guest of her 
husband" when she paid him a visit during his tem- 
porary absence on affairs of state. That always seemed 
so funny that I cut out the item and quote it herewith: 

Mrs. G. A. Northcott, of Huntington, wife 
of the president of the Senate, is in the dty, 
the guest of her husband, at the Kanawha. 

Well, Van, whatever their faults or their shortcomings 
were, they were punished enough as it was. Far be it 
irom me to wish them any further disaster. Hell hath 
no fury in my eyes like living in one of those "Man- 
sards." 

But the early period, Van, when all your ideas, your 
furniture, your gardens, were copied or brought direct 
from old England— my cotmtry, and yours at that time 
too — Ah! that is another delightful story. 

I am afraid I am putting a strain on you with this 
long letter. I am a little bit disturbed about Miss 
Winthrop to-night. A new addition to our party in the 
shape of a Western arrival seems to have made quite a 
difference. He has monopolized her the whole of the 
day. I cannot say, either, that his attentions have been 
wholly disagreeable. I believe he is known to her 
father. 

Well, old man, no use bothering you. Hope the mine 
will prove a profitable investment. 

Yours sincerely, 

Drysdalb. 



58 MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to her Father.] 

Plymouth, Mass., July 31, 19— 
You Dear Old Lovey: 

I dropped you a wire the other day just to kt you 
know I was still in the land of the living. 

Somehow or other I got kind of lost in the past of this 
dear old town, and I hated to think of anything mun- 
dane, or do anything that would bring me back from 
Anno Domini 1620 to A. D. 1907. It has been a most 
enjoyable experience. 

Of course we started at Hymoutfi Rock itself. This 
"Rock of all the Ages" as it is called, has been dignified 
with an imposing canopy, and is the first thing that all 
strangers ask for. Although an iron fence surrounds 
it, still it is opened at intervals, so that tourists may 
reverently press the celebrated stone with their own un- 
hallowed feet On the side of the wicket is carved Aat 
immortal date — 1620. 

Passing up the main street from the water front we 
traverse the first public highway ever laid out in Amer- 
ica — ^Leyden Street — so named in honor of the town in 
Holland where the Pilgrims lived so long. As we near 
the principal street in the modem town we pass on the 
way what is left of Coles Hill, where many of the first 
settlers were buried. A tablet suitably inscribed marks 
their resting place. Then up past the identical spring 
which furnished the water for the community, and which, 
by reason of its proximity to the house of Elder Brew- 
ster, became known as "Elder Brewster's Spring/' and so 
retains its title to this day. 

At the head of this little street stanck a handsome edi<* 







cd 

o 
8 

cd 
'a 

PQ 



ptJBLiC LIBRARY 



MR. GOGGLES 59 



fioe. This is the modem structure of the First Church 
in America founded by the Pilgrims. 

This church is the oldest in our country, and has 
piously preserved its records in unbroken succession from 
the days of Pastor Robinson and Elder Brewster to the 
pt«sen!t 

I couldn't help thinking dear Popsy, of Gray's Elegy, 
as we stood there in die old burying ground just about 
dusk. Mr. Goggles, with that nice sense of the eter- 
nal fitness of things which he possesses, took us there 
just about that time, and, to my great surprise and pleas- 
ure, repeated softly those lines that were so singularly 
appropriate. ': 

I could not iSSsist scaling a glance at him as he stood 
by my side. His face, which is always interesting, was 
softened by the in^uence of the place, and he looked so 
big and handsome and withal, so; much tiie man! 

"Beneath those rugged elms, that yew-tree's shade^ 

Where heaves the turf in many a mouldering heap, 
Each in his narrow cell forever laid, 

The rude forefathers of the hamlet sle^. 
The breezy call of incense-breathing mom. 

The swallow twittering from the straw-built shed. 
The cock's shrill clarion, or the edioing horn. 

No more shall rouse them from their lowly bed." 

No spot in Plymouth was so interesting to me as 
Burial Hill. Here are the graves of Governor Bradford, 
Governor Carver, Elder Brewster and the "Nameless 
Nobleman." Across tiie bay, on Captain's Hill, in Dux- 
bury, rises a marble shaft to mark the spot where Hved 
the famous captain of Plymouth, Myles Standish. Where 
his grave is, no man knows. In the absence of definite 
proof, tradition is all important, and so far as it has been 
fairly determined, they tell me the sacred spot is at or 



6o MR. GOGGLES 



near that place in Harden Hill, in Duxbury, which if 
now marked by a group of huge boulders flanked on all 
four sides by cannon. 

It is a matter of profound regret to most searchers 
after ancient landmarks, I find, that the Rlgrims took 
so little care of their graves. Yet a moments considera- 
tion will reveal the reason. 

Aside from the fact that the Pilgrims had neither the 
money to import headstones, nor the skill with which to 
carve them, tiiere was still another and more potent rea- 
son for Ae seeming neglect. Their whole lives, their 
whole religion, as we know, was one unending protest 
against Rome — her creeds and her practices. The mo- 
ment tile soul left the body it was, in the minds of tiiese 
austere religionists, an act of sacrilege to follow it to 
the grave with words of kindly remembrance, or widi 
any manifestation of grief. Such were construed as be- 
ing an encroachment on ''the counsels of the Almighty.'' 
All sense of personal loss was sternly rq>ressed, and tiie 
overcharged heart that cried out in its agony was re- 
buked as rebelling against the chastisement of a just and 
offended God. Every form of funeral service, domestic 
or congregational, was rigorously omitted as tending to- 
ward superstition and popery. 

Volleys of musketry, however, were fired over the 
graves of Standish, Carver, Bradford, and one or two 
others, but even this purely military function was unac- 
companied by even the prayer of a chaplain. 

In view of this custom, it was, perhaps, not alto- 
gether from fear of the Indians that the resting places of 
those who died that first winter were levdled to the 
grotmd and planted with com. Perhaps their own hearts 
were sorely tempted to cherish and adorn those lonely 



MR. GOGGLES 6^ 



graves where so much of love and hope lay buried. But 
any yielding to such carnal feelings was in the na- 
ttu-e of badcsliding, which could not be thought of in a 
community where so mudi had been sacrificed to secure 
freedom from just such conditions. 

A few of tbt older settlers, inking of those who had 
suffered and endured with them, and who had gone be- 
fore, begged to be buried beside their departed friends — 
revealing in this request their loving and unbigoted 
hearts. 

Even Standish, the warrior, the stem man, yielded to 
the touch that makes the whole world kin, and though 
he did not express himself while alive, yet left a written 
request that he might be buried as dose as possible to 
his "dear little children." 

Poor Puritan father! Poor Puritan mother! How 
much of solace and comfort they denied themselves in 
thus penning up the natural feelings of the heart! 

I have dwelt with more than usual detail on this par- 
ticular subject. But I feel dear Popsy that you would enjoy 
reading all about it as you have often expressed a wish 
to come here. Seeing that you are only worth a dozen 
millions, I realize that you will never be able to afford 
the luxury, so I send you a pen picture instead. 

I notice I have unconsciously repeated some of the 
exact language of Goggles. He seems to be re- 
garded as an authority on this subject — ^at least one would 
imagine so, to hear others ask him all manner of ques- 
tions and seem satisfied with his replies. 

Well, old sweetheart, I wish all you Puritan peo- 
ple would visit your own sacred fires before leaving 
them for good. Even those who remain bdiind seem 
equally indifferent. I have met more people in Boston 



62 MR. GOGGLES 



who have never been to Pl3rmouth than I have in 
Richmond. 

Is that a nice thii^ to say to my dear old Puritan 
daddy who lets me do everything I want? 

Well, dear heart, good night 

Helen. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

Dear Van: 

This has been rather a trying day on the whde. We 
were jcnned, as I wrote you in my last, by somt friends 
of Miss Winthrop who were motoring in this part of the 
country and it was not long before they fastened them- 
selves upon us. 

The leader of the party is a Mr. Chubb — ^Josiah Chubb — 
and his father is, I understand, a coal bar<m, whatever 
that is. I can quite believe that his father remarked on 
a certain occasion that he thought his company had been 
divinely appointed to dig the bituminous wealdi out of 
the ground, while the rest of us were merely created for 
drawers of water and hewers of wooa. 

The son addressed me as "fellow,'* and made some 
ill-natured allusions to my humUe station as "a, baker 
for a bunch of cookies.'' I said nothing in reply, but 
lodced at Miss Winthrop out of the comer of my eye. 
"Well," she drawled slowly, "perhaps it's better to be a 
baker than a coal heaver; who knows?" 

Just then a man with a sack of coal on his back passed 
us, while a brightly painted wagon stopped in frcmt of 
our place with the word "Bakery^' ackiming its every 
side. 

I tried to conceal a smile tiiat tfareatraed to destroy 



MR. GCXK2LES 63 



my gravity* and was soon lost in studying his Maxwell. 

Chubb insisted on being with us every day. We spent 
quite a while in Pilgrim Hall, where they have a very 
splendid collection of Colonial things — ^Elder Brewster's 
chair, sword of Myles Standish, John Aiden's Bible, 
cradle of Per^frine White, first diild bom here, etc, etc. 

I was particularly interested in a letter given by our 
great Lord Nelson to a Yankee sailor who safely piloted 
him through the Bay to Boston. Nelson had taken him 
and his ship a prisoner on the high seas, but offered him 
his liberty if he would conduct in safety, the ships of the 
fleet to a safe anchorage in Boston Bay. 

Tlie letter recites this deed, and gives praise to a brave 
man who, though he might have wrecked the ships, stood 
by his word to bring them to safety. Nelson's letter was 
to other British commanders ordering them to "at once 
release the bearer of this, Capt. Carver," in case he should 
again be the victim of British privateersmen, and states 
how their own crew gave their departing prisoner three 
hearty British dieers. 

The whole hall is filled with just sudi interesting ma- 
terial as this. I, for instance, never knew that Nelson 
had been over here, but evidently he has. And yet all 
day long this Chubb fellow diafed at losing what he 
called valuable time. Even a personal communication 
from OKver Cromwell to John Winthrop, ancestor of 
Helen's, failed to interest him. 

He prided himself on being right up to the minute. 
Nothing of such ancient and mediaevsd rot, he informed 
her, was worthy the attention of a future coal baron. 

We ended the day by a visit to the National Monument 
erected to the Pilgrim Fatiiers a short distance to the rear 
of tile burial ground and on a slightiy higher eminence. 



MR.GCXK2LES 



I have no l^ad for figures, but remember only in a 
vague way that the Mcmument is very high and very im- 
pressive. It is surmounted by a statue of Freedom, and 
decorated with has reliefs of scenes of the landing, al- 
l^;orical figures of Law, Morality, Truth, Education. 
It is a noble work of art. One taUet contains all the 
names of the Mayflower's passengers. 

How about the mine? Isn't it about time I was send- 
ing you a dieck to dose the deal? 

Yours, Drysdalb. 

N. B. — ^TcMnorrow we shall ride around the country 
hereabouts in the detestable Chubb's automobile. Unfor- 
tunately for me the roads here are well built and kept in 
perfect repair. So unusual I am told in America. We 
shall visit Duxbury where Standish lived, and will prob- 
aUy see the homesteads of Edward Winslow, John Alden, 
Governor Bradford and other Colonial nobles whidi 
are scattered all about here. 

To ccnne down to more modem times, the home of 
Daniel Webster is at Marshfield — ^not far from here — ^and 
the site of the very first raHroad ever operated by steam 
and running on rails in this country. That is at Quincy, 
and though it was only operated to haul stone from a 
quarry, it antedates the Baltimore & Ohio, and other 
claimants, by several years. Interesting, isn't it? 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to her Father.] 

Dear Old Sweetheart: 

Did you tell Josia Chubb where I was? I'd hate to 
diink that of you, for he's certainly, if you don't 



MR. GOGGLES 65 



mind my saying so, the limit. I know he's the son of 
your old friend and will some day be a Coal Baron, but 
really, I'd rather be a typewriter dian a Coal Baroness. 

In my opinion Fate seems to deal her favors with 
wretchedly poor taste. Here for instance, is Goggles, as 
we call him. Probably he doesn't boast of any old family 
tree, and perhaps he's only a human guide book, as you 
remarked in one of your letters. 

But the other day he got into an arg^ument about ihit 
family of Miles Standish with a well known savant of 
the Massachusetts Historical Society, and somehow or 
other he has a knowledge of English genealogy — particu- 
larly regarding the old Puritan and Pilgrim families, that 
is something extraordinary. He seemed to know exactly 
how much right there was in Standish's claim to the 
estate of Standish Hall, and knew all about his career in 
the Low Countries. 

But Chubb! Oh, Chubb is unspeakable. I'll admit 
he has a great big, splendid touring car ; he insists that I 
spend the day with him tomorrow. I finally consented, 
provided several other members of our party were in- 
vited. So Goggles comes along, for which I am truly 
thankful. 

That young man has been the very soul of consideration 
this trip. It seems to me that I won't be able to get along 
without him if this thing keeps up much longer. I 
wonder if I could hire him as a traveling companion all 
for myself? Oh, I suppose that would be out of the 
question. But thaf s the way I feel scmietimes. 

It is so hard to get good servants that you must pardon 
me, Popsy, if I give vent to my feelings occasionally. 

Well, we have done the Landing Place of the Pil- 
grims pzetty thoroughly, don't you think so 7 Tomor- 



66 MR. GOGGLES 



row we shall go down the Cape on Chubb's ** Flyer," 
but, nevertheless, I intend to enjoy it, Chubb or no 
Chubb. 
With love and kisses. 

Your affect, daughter, 

Helen. 



[Miss Winthrop to her Father.^ 

Boston. 
Dear Popsy: 

Mr. Chubb, with his new Maxwell motor car drove 
up to the Somerset bright and early this morning. 

For the first time since we started Goggles seemed 
somewhat out of sorts. I insisted that he come along, as 
it seemed the least I could do for his uniform courtesy 
during this trip. 

I am rather glad we did, for tiie chauffeur failed to 
materialize, and Mr. Chubb had some doubt about start- 
ing. Goggles, however, kindly looked the madiine over, 
and volunteered to drive. We sat together, he and I, and I 
must say that his work as a guide was almost cast in the 
shade by his accomplishments as a chauffeur. I did not 
tell him I had a machine of my own and was more or less 
familiar with the different makes, but I knew from his 
remarks that he knew a good deal more of the subject 
than he was willing I should suspect. His talk, however, 
was mainly about the leading French makes, and with 
these he seemed entirely familiar. 

He is really die first Englishman I ever met who ac- 
tually had a good word to say of the French as a work- 
a-day nation. He extolled their wonderful ability as 



MR. GOGGLES 67 



mechanica] engineers, and claimed that they really were 
the first to demonstrate the practicability of the trans- 
atlantic cable with a line from Paris to London, and were 
almost oontonporaneous with Morse in the discovery of 
telegraphy. Contrary to the general impression, he says, 
the French are a wonderfully clever people mechanically, 
but somehow or other we Anglo-Saxons associate that 
nation with only artistic and perhaps frivolous achieve- 
ments. He rather embarrassed me, in a sense, with his 
perfect familiarity with tiie behind-the-scenes knowledge 
of tiieir practical greatness — ^so different from the aver- 
age talk about that country — diat he held me perfectly 
fascinated. And all because he once rode a French auto- 
mobile I 

Mr. Chubb claimed that he could go easily sixty miles 
an hour, but the many charming towns we passed through 
were so delightfully quaint and different from anything 
I had ever seen that we todc things much more leisurely. 

"Down the Cape" as they csdl it here is an experience 
by itself. The country is wholly different from any other 
place you have ever seen. The people are different, and 
the ^ok place is romantic and beautiful to a degree 
hard to describe. I know you were never there for you 
were bom too near it 

It isn't so many years ago I am told that the Cape 
was almost a sealed book to the summer tourist. Occa- 
sionally a traveler more daring than the rest would ven- 
ture upon the infrequent trains and go forth like a Liv- 
ingston or a Stanley, a strange country for to see. But 
today! 

Well, there are trains leaving Boston almost" every 
hour of the day. One in the afternoon particularly 
is a private train made up exclusively of parser 



68 MR. GOGGLES 



cars — ^for Boston's most exclusive and aristocratic so- 
ciety have set the seal of their approval on the Cape, and 
the demand for luxurious travel has kept pace with this 
altered state of things. I could not begin to mention all 
the prominent Boston families who live down here in Ae 
summer among the various villages, but they include a 
highly important division. Mr. Qeveland's home at Buz- 
zard's Bay— Joe JeflFerson's and Richard Olney's come 
most reacUly to mind — but there are a host of others. 

And no wonder. Even the short time I spent on 
it gave me an insatiable appetite for more. The 
conference of the land is such that it is swept by 
ocean breezes from all sides. The soil is, of course, very 
sandy. Consequently, there is an utter absence of any* 
thing like dampness no matter how mudi it rains, and 
so we have a climate much like Lakewood, Saratoga and 
Long Branch all rolled into one. 

But perhaps the chief charm lies in the fact that in 
this out of the way place contact with the outer world is 
still only transient and brief at the most, and the oddity, 
quaintness and originality of the peoplt is still preserved. 

Most of the towns are very old. In fact, few of them 
date much nearer than early in the 1700's. The town of 
Brewster — z great favorite with Chicago people — for in- 
stance, was named after the famous Plymouth elder of 
that name, and was founded not many years after that 
celebrated settlement Wellfleet, way down at the end of 
the Cape, was at one time third in importance of all the 
towns in New England by reason of its whale fisheries. 
The old seal of the town shows the picture of a whale, 
and the early name was Whale-fleet. 

But the whaling industry is a forgotten chapter amcMig 
the Cape Codders of today, and Wellfleet now suiq)orts 



MR. GOGGLES 69 



itsdf by the antithesis of the whale — ^the clam — ^and as a 
station for the Marconi Wireless Telegrai* Company. 

Ever and anon, as we drove from one town to another, 
glimpses of ocean, lake and woodland greeted the eyes. 
The roads ai^ in splendid condition, except at intervals in 
the lower part of the Cape where transit is rare and sand 
dunes plentiful. Wayside inns are frequent, reasonable 
in charge, and delightful in service. Everjrwhere there is 
(he feeling of having dropped a century or so, and liv- 
ing back in the days that are no more. 

At Chatham we stopped long enough for a dip in the 
ocean. The Gulf Stream laves the beach here and ren- 
ders the water particularly enjoyable. ^ 

Although whaling is only a memory there are occa- 
sional "btows" seen off shore at the end of the Cape. It 
is not unusual for a visitor to be able to join a whaling 
party and enjoy all the danger and exdtement of this 
pastime without going further from the mainland thaa 
he can traverse again before night falls. 

Coming back from Chatham I changed seats and rode 
with Mr. Chubb, leaving his aunt to sit with Goggles. 
For a young gentleman who can be delightfully 
interesting on a trip like this when he wishes. Goggles 
can certainly be the other way as well. Not a 
word out of him could she gc« except, ''Yes? No! 
Really r "How nicer "Oh! dear r etc, eta 

Now, Popsy, I fed as if you owed me a lot for keep- 
ing you so well posted on my comings and gcMUgs. Don't 
you agree with me? 

Your affect daughter, 

Helen. 



yo MR. GCXX^LES 



[Letter from Drysdale to Von.] 

Dear Van: 

I accepted an invitation to join Miss Wintfarop in a 
motor trip "down the Cape," a$ they call it, forgetting 
for the moment that I am a hired minion at $3.33 per diem. 
I told the rest of the party, however, that the company 
would pay their expenses no matter where they went till 
I got bade 

Most of them ran up to Boston, which is only a short 
distance from here, but this little faux pas of mine will 
use up all tile salary I will draw for the next two months. 
That's what I call hard luck. 

Still, it was easily worth it Chubb knows as 
much about a motor car as a Bostcm man knows about 
New England. If it hadn't been for the perfectly splendid 
roads and the almost flat surface, there's no telling what 
might have happened with that gas-fitter at the wheel. 

Of course, his diauffeur had to disappear. That's a 
way chauffeurs have. I saw he was almost ready to funk 
on the trip, and although I was one of the invited guests, 
I volunteered to assist if desired. I might not have been 
so willing had I not observed that Miss Winthrop was 
occupying the front seat, and before he could get a 
chance to exchange places with her aunt in the rear, I had 
the machine going at a pretty good dip. 

He made the best of a bad bargain and I settled my- 
self down to a delicious day's enjoyment. 

Miss Winthrop improves every minute of my acquaint- 
ance. She has that very rare attribute in women — z, keen 
sense of humor and seems to have a soul above the al- 
mighty dollar. 

It was not my place, of course, to speak until spc^en 



MR. GOGGLES 71 



to, but I managed to keep her talking quite continuously. 

She told some very queer stories about life in Uiese 
parts, and the climate which is very changeable. Some- 
times I fear I showed by my face that I was somewhat 
startled, but of course I couldn't, or wouldn't, have you 
think I impugn her veracity for a moment. 

We passed a team with a kind of harness I had never 
seen before, and when I said: '"Miss, can you tell me 
what sort of a rig that is?" she answered instantly: 
"'That's raw hide — ^ most remarkable kind of a harness 
you ever saw." 

'"Why so?" I ventured to inquire. 

"WeU," she said, "it's so pliable, as it were, and yet so 
rigid at times. An uncle of mine overtook a man lead- 
ing a team with that raw hide harness. They were at 
the foot of a hill and suddenly a heavy thunder shower 
came up. In a few moments man, horse and harness 
were soaked through." 

"Really!" 

"The first thing you knew that harness b^;an to stretdi. 
The driver led his horses till they reached the top of die 
hill, the wagon was still at the bottom." 

"How remarkable." 

"You see, the wagon wouldn't move till all the stretch 
was out of the harness. So the driver took a budde 
around a tree, and went into the hotel for refreshment." 

"I foltow you." 

"While he was wetting himself and drying himself at 
the same time, the weather made one of those lightning 
changes for which New England is famous. The sun 
shone brightly. And what do you suppose happened?" 

"Oh, really, I couldn't imagine, you know." 

"Well, that harness b^^an to shrink. Slowly at first. 



72 MR. GOGGLES 



but gradually faster and faster as it grew dryer, till Ac 
wagon was coming up the hill on a run I It strudc At 
tree with such force that half its load was thrown to die 
ground." 

I thought that was a very remarkable occurrence, but 
very natural under tiie circumstances. I am going to 
get a set of that harness to take back with me. 

Still it struck me as very unusual. Was it? My atti- 
tude seemed to encourage her, however, for she told me 
of a night watchman they have down at her home whom 
she thinks is the most conscientious man she ever knew. 

One evening some boys threw a stone through Ae 
music room window, and he was sent to investigate tfie 
damage. 

"Oh, Miss Helen," he said on returning, "if s much 
more serious ^n I supposed. The pane is bruk cm bodi 
sides!" 

She was certainly in gay spirits. She wound up tlus 
slight digression by relating the story of an aunt of hers 
up in Maine, from whom permissicm was desired to run 
tel^hone wires to an adjoining house. 

"Why, certainly," sdd the dear old lady, who likes to 
oblige everybody, "only you must agree not to talk after 
nine o'dodc. I'm a very light sleeper and the least noise 
will keep me awake." 

What other remarkable and spectacular incidents might 
have befallen those wonderful relatives of hers I do not 
know for just then we drew up at the quaintest sort of 
an inn for luncheon. And after lunch I was rel^;aited to 
the rear with Aunt Fanny. 

You do not write me about tfiat mine. In fact, I 
haven't heard from you since I wrote you to give up that 
beastly Mexican trip. 



MR. GOGGLES 73 



Heavens! Suppose you've gone anyhow, and all my 
letters have failed to reach you I 

Horrors! What would happen! But I will dismiss 
my fears. Mr. Chubb is disaster enough for one letter. 

Yours, Dbysdale. 



[Letter from Miss Winihrop io her Father.] 

Boston, July 31. 
Dear Popsadoodles: 

Dearie me I It seems a^ if I did nothing but wire you 
for money, and write yoq such long letters that you 
never find time to read them. Won't you be glad when 
I get back to the Bride of the Blue Ridge? Isn't that 
a pretty name for Durham?^ I thought it out all by my- 
self. Yes, this Eastern Cultuah is certainly doing me 
good. 

We have continued our trip "down the Cape." We 
have seen the famous Cranberry bogs and the ancient 
methods of drying codfish. We also saw the 
first plant for the production of salt out of sea water. 
That otlier scheme for extracting gold out of the same 
commodity is no longer in evidence. About all that serves 
to remind one that the thrifty Yankee put his hard-earned 
cash in such a bubble, is the occasional appearance of a 
smooth tongued sharper, still selling beautifully engraved 
sheets of paper representing shares in this inexhaustible 
money-maker, and finding buyers ! 

Well, something must be done to keep the rural com- 
munity from going to the dogs from want of mental ex- 
citement. The days of the lightning rod agent, when the 
poor farmer's note for ten dollars was promptly raised 
to ten hundred, and his farm seized in payment, are gone. 



74 MR. GOGGLES 



The gold brick industry, however, is still popuhr in New 
England; and Louisiana lottery tickets are in brisk de- 
mand. With these, and tiie patent medicine habit, the 
Down East agriculturist manages to keep his senses. 

Another curkms trait of these deligirtf ul people is the 
County History habit This peculiarity seems to be in- 
born in these simple sons of toil. 

Fame at $150 per page, seems high to the unsophisti- 
cated dty man. Still when that includes a full page 
'Tialf-tone" portrait of yourself (taken always twenty 
years before, when the hair was still in evidence) it can- 
not be considered expensive. Many a man has paid a 
good deal more, for less satisfaction, than comes from the 
placid contemplation of a picture of his own classic fea- 
tures, with his signature sprawled underneath, and a 
page of hysterical pan^;yric directly opposite;. 

Who has not felt a thrill of pride as he has read of 
"the indomitable will" of this or that prominent citizen, 
"which conquered all obstacles,'' "whose many virtues in 
a brief but meteoric career has shed luster upon his native 
village of Popham's Four G)mers?'' 

Is it at all strange that such a strong character is now 
recognized as the controlling genius in the great Hay, 
Grain and Feed business owned by the subject of this 
sketch in the nearby commercial center of East Middle 
Popham?" 

Oh! these dear old compendiums of fact, fiction, and 
fiddlesticks f Who shall say that dieir work has not in its 
ultimate phase, borne fruit of lasting benefit to the com- 
munity? The Library giving habit is only the County 
History habit carried out to its legitimate and logical con- 
clusion, and it is worth the money. 

But dear Popsy, I do iiot want you to think that I am 



MR. GOGGLES 75 



not in sympathy with the New England fanner. He is 
an old, sweet thing — a contradiction of hard-headedness 
and warm-heartedness. The Winning of the West by its 
railroads would never have been possible but for the New 
England farmer's love of a gamble. Originally the great 
copper mines sprang from the same source. Goldfield, 
Tonapah, Bullfrog, and many other of the recently opened 
mines in Nevada owe much to this same New England 
farmer. Likewise a large number of mines which will 
never exist except in the heated imagination of their pro- 
jectors. 

He has bought stock in Spindle Top Oil Gushers in 
Texas, only to find later that the shock which leveled 
Mont Pel6e, also forever stopped the flow of oil in Spindle 
Top. 

Periiaps he does like a big piece of blue sky for his 
money, in preference to real estate, at times, — ^but leave 
him alone ; in the long run he wins out 

The night I was down at Wdlfleet was a red letter day 
in the annals of that town. Marconi had come from 
Glace Bay and was tr3ring to get his Wireless Station in 
communication with Poldhu. The one hotel was filled 
with newspaper reporters, artists and photographers, as 
it was conficfently expected that the first attempt to send 
a message across the Atlantic would be successful. 

Three days had been consumed in experimental woric^ 
and any moment might either bring success, or prove 
tiiat something had still to be discovered, and that an- 
other year's delay must ensue. The members of the press 
drove out twice a day to get reports, and so far had 
made seven trips without results. Reports were encour- 
aging, however, and for the moment, Wellfleet held the 
center of the world's stage, as in the old whaling days. 



76 MR. GOGGLES 



Shortly after three o'clock the army of correspondents 
were seen retummg furiously to the hotel. In a few mo- 
ments the one lone little telegpraph operator was over- 
whelmed with business, and the whole world learned that 
the first message by wireless from President Roosevelt 
to King Edward had been received and answered. 

The little Cape G>d town rose to the occasion. The 
Selectmen voted to g^ve the distinguished scientist and 
the newspaper representatives the freedom of the town 
and a grand blowout at the Town Hall that night. 

And this is how it came about that I saw for the first 
time with appropriate surrotmdings and with correct local 
color, a representation of that bygone institution in New 
England, "The Singin' Skewl." 

You remember how they were dressed — the women all 
in calicoes, linens, and huge poke bonnets. The men in 
very tight and very short trousers. There wasn't any- 
thing but a tuning fork to give them the key, but after 
the leader hit it <mce or twice, they would start up like 
this: 

Soprano {so\o)\ Cousin Hezekiah Cou*^° "^ 

phi 
if A^ (solo): And Sophia And a 

So 

And Jed * di ^j^ 
First Bass: And Jedediah 

Second Bass: Kit 

all 

coming Tea! 

here 

to 

Chorus: Ohwontwehaveajollytime 

AHiogetkor 

«< 

When . . they • . all • . come totea. 



mr.gcxk;les tj 



Then they sang another one that I think I've heard you 
tell me about I don't quite recall the words, but it was 
something to the effect that, 

Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking 
What a fine world this would be 
If the men were all transported 
Far beyond the Northern Sea 1 

Chorus: 

Tooral— looral looral— lay 
Tooral— looral looral— lea 
If the men were all transported 
Far beyond the Northern Seal 

I thought Goggles would die laughing. He said 
he had the program of a real genuine concert that 
took place in Sakm almost a hundred years ago. This 
performance brought it back to him, he said, and he cer- 
tainly seemed to enjoy it as much as I, which is saying a 
good deal 

Well, Popsy, all good things must oome to an end, and 
so with this concert. It was quite a treat to see how well 
the Selectmen did their speedhmaking, and how nice 
Marconi was, even though I know his eye was on the 
dock and he was counting the moments till the next train 
left for Boston. Shortly after nine the rush of celebrities 
to the train occurred, and Wellfleet went back to slumber 
and to be forgotten by the rest of the world. 

But Popsy, I shall never forget Wellfleet nor dear old 
Cape Cod. You must make up your mind to build a 
summer cottage in one of the towns. I don't care much 
which one you prefer, as they are all perfectly charming. 

Wellj good-night, old foggy weather. I'm sleepy. 

Hexen. 



78 MR. GOGGLES 



[From Drysdale to Van.] 

Boston, July 31. 

Dear Van: 

Your oantinued silence is getting on my nerves. I feel 
certain you have written, and your letters are somewhere 
in the country trying to over^ike me. But still it seems 
funny tiiat none of them has been delivered. I grow 
positively pale with fear when I think you might possibly 
have gone to Mexico and I not know anything about it 

We have returned from our short digression down the 
Cape in Chubb's Maxwell. 

Chubb seems to me an unspeakable sort of a cad. He 
insisted on sitting next to Heldn — ^Miss Winthrop, I 
mean*-and apparently had no sense of her utter lack of 
interest in his conversaticm. 

He likes nothing old, and anything dating before the 
formation of the Coal combine has no interest for him. 
He told us of a recent trip to Europe during which time 
he had evidently tried hard to appreciate tiie beauties of 
his environment. "But it was no use!" he said. ''Nobody 
could talk United States." He said if the Louvre was in 
Cncinnaty, "the joint would be pulled by the police." 
What in the world does that mean? The statues, he 
thought, were positively indecent In Cincinnati it ap- 
pears they put tights on Venus and bathing suits on 
Aphrodite. 

"I knew something was 99-100 pure out there," said 
Miss Winthrop, 'T)ut I didn't know it was the dty." Both 
laughed munoderately at this. witticism, but it was too 
much for me. And his opinion of the Old Masters is 
shocking. He says if anyone gave him one of tiiese 



']'H:i ?JSv/ '•"•••cK 



.,s rt:P„ LENOX 
XILUiLiS i-OUWDATIONfi 



MK.GOGGLBS 79 



pictures, 2nd ke had to keep it, ke would charge tfaeoi 
storage! 

These remarks seemed to amuse Miss Wintiirop 
mightily, though to me they were unintelligible jargon. 

He finally abandoned his journey at Lake Coma It 
gave him a pain, he said. People were always talking 
about the scenery, — grand, beautiful, sublime, etc 

"Whafs the good of scenery?" he asked. 'Tfou can't 
eat it, you can't drink it, you can't smoke it Photo- 
graphs are a darned sight better,— cost less and you 
don't have to go Aere." 

So he packed up his duds, wired for a berlli on the 
Lucohia, amd travded night and day till he readied 
home. 

"Never again for me," he concluded. "You folks can 
have all you want of London, Paris, Vienna or Rome, but 
it's me for the ivory-mounted hills of Cindnnaty." 

What was so confoundedly funny in his remarks I 
could not see. But Miss Winthrop found them vastly 
amusing, so I suppose they must have hfien dever. 

I think he went out of his way needlessly to remind 
me of my position. He always handed out Miss Win- 
throp himsdf, but would give me the rugs, coats, shawls, 
etc., to bring into the hotel with Aunty. Then I was 
usually obliged to go back and put the car in the garage. 

Now, do write, Well, never mind. 

Yrt, 

DSYSDALB. 



8o MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to her Father.] 

Beach Bluff Hotel, Bbach Bluff, Mass. 
Respected and Dear Sir: 

Will you permit me to place on record my deep sense 
of obligation for your invariable habit of answering my 
letter by return mail? I have not had one scrap of the 
pen from you now for three weeks. True, I received 
the checks sent by the office. Query: Am I on the reg- 
ular pay roll, or merely an "extra"? 

Were it not for the yellow journals I would forget that 
I ever owned such a careless, negligent, heartless, lov- 
able, dear, indulgent parent 

Yesterday there was a full page sketch of you in that 
grand literary depository, the Magazine Section of the 
Sunday Orb. It was modestly entitled: "A Great Cap- 
tain of Industry Now at War in Great Britain." 

Was that done to impress me because you knew I'd 
be down where a real war actually did take place? I'm 
ashamed of you. Anyhow I wish you'd have a portrait 
taken. These papers will print your picture, anyhow, so 
you might as well give them a good one. I think you are 
a great deal better looking than Mr. Three Dollar Doug- 
lass, who seems to be the model from which they all copy. 

Mr. Van Rensselaer was not at all moved by the Iwil- 
liancy of your glory. Of course, one can't expect a mere 
chauffeur to understand or appreciate these things. Still, 
I think he might have shown some slight interest. 

Instead, he merely glanced at the picture and re- 
marked: "Reminds me of a man I met in Paris once. 
He was trying to buy the government monc^oly of the 
Tobacco business, or something of that sort" 



MR, GOGGLES 8i 



"I suppose you introduced him to the proper parties," I 
remarked, sarcastically. 

"Well," he said slowly, "I did what I could. I took 
him to the British Ambassador's. But he really didn't need 
any help. He had his nerve with him as you say in this 
coimtry. It was only a little courtesy on my part." 

"And did you wait outside, or call for him later?" 

His face reddened immediately and he bit his lip. "Oh, 
yes; I forgot!" he stammered — ^"I waited — ^yes, I waited." 

He seems to have "knocked around a bit," as he ex- 
presses it. But there is always that curious half-repressed 
air about him that puzzles one so. Still, he's intelligent — , 
very. And quite well educated. He certainly improves 
on acquaintance. 

Only half an hour's ride from the North station takes 
one to the lovely old town of Salem, beautiful, colonial, 
witch-haunted Salem. So here we are. 

Now we are going out for a little walk, and I'm going 
to spend most of the day "In the footsteps of Hawthorne," 
as the guide books say. 

Hawthorne lived in several houses during his almost 
half century of residence here. He was bom in the Union 
street house, but the Herbert street house is the one for 
which he evidently had the greatest affection * It adjoins 
the birthplace house to the rear. 

His room in the Herbert street house is in the south- 
west comer of the third story overlooking his birthplace. 
Here with a diamond, he scratched his name on a pane 
of glass. 

Of this same room Hawthome himself wrote : 

"In this dismal chamber FAME was won," and again in the 
often-quoted letter written October 4, 1840: "Here I sit in my 
old accustomed chamber where I used to sit in days gone by. 



82 MR. GOGGLES 



Here I have written many tales. . . . Should I hare a 
biographer he onght to make great mention of this chamber in 
my memoirs, because so much of my lonely youth was wasted 
here." This chamber is again referred to in a humorous vein: 
. . . "Here I am, in my old chamber, where I produced those 
stupendous works of fiction which have since impressed the 
universe with wonderment and awe! To this chamber, doubt- 
less, in all succeeding ages, pilgrims will come to pay their 
tribute of reverence ;— they will put off their shoes at the 
threshold for fear of desecrating the tattered old carpets) 
'There,' they will exclaim, 'is the very bed in which he slum- 
bered, and where he was visited by those etheral visions which 
he afterwards fixed forever in glowing words. There is the 
wash-stand at which this exalted personage cleansed himself 
from the stains of earth and rendered his outward man a fitting 
exponent of the pure soul within. There, in its mahogany 
frame, is the dressing-glass which often reflected that noble 
brow, those hyacinthine lodes, that mouth bright with smiles or 
tremulous with feeling, that flashing or melting eye, that — ^iJn 
short, every item of the magnanimous face of this unexampled 
man. There is the pine table^— there is the old flag-bottomed 
chair on ^hich he sat, and at which he scribbled, during his 
agonies of inspiration! There is the old chest of drawers in 
which he kept what shirts a poor author may be supposed to 
have possessed! There is the closet in which was deposited his 
threadbare suit of black 1 There is the worn-out shoe-brush with 
which this polished writer polished his boots. There is— but I 
believe this will be pretty much all, so here I close the catalogue." 

Up to the time when he wrote "The Scarlet Letter," 
Hawthorne's life was practically the same as many other 
of his neighbors. "Whatever may be my gifts" he wrote 
in 1841, "I have not shown a single one that may avail 
to gather gold." He was known to have written a few 
things, but nothing of importance had as yet come from 
his pen. 

On this subject he wrote : "When I look at the scanty 
avails of my past literary efforts I do not fed authorized 
to expect much from the future. "Yet," he continues, in 
a more hopeful vein, "We shall see. Other persons have 
bought large estates and built splendid mansions with 
such little books as I mean to write, so that perhaps it is 



MR. GOGGLES 83 



not unreasonable to hope that mine may enable me to 
build a little cottage, or, at least, to buy or hure one." 

At this period he was living at Brook Farm — ^that won- 
derful group of idealists so many of whom were destined 
later to achieve a large measure of fame in the world that 
then looked down upon them and their Utopian dreams 
so coldly. 

A great part of the manual labor on the farm was per- 
formed by the sojourners themselves. Hawthorne speaks 
thus of his own experience: 

"We have eight cows, and the number is now increased 
by a transcendental heifer belonging to Miss Margaret 
FuHer. She is very fractious, I believe, and apt to kick 
over the milk pail. I intend to convert myself into a 
milkmaid this evening, but I pray Heaven that Mr. Rip- 
ley may be moved to assign me the kindliest cow in the 
herd. * * * I ijfce my brothers in affliction very well, 
and could you see us sitting round our table at meal times 
before the great kitchen fire, you would call it a dieerful 
sight.*' 

Later: "I did not milk the cows last night because 
Mr. Ripley was afraid to trust them to my hands, or me 
to their horns, I know not which. But this morning I 
have done wonders. Before breakfast I went out to the 
bam and began to diop hay for the cattle, and, with sudi 
'righteous vehemence,' as Mr. Ripley says, did I labor, 
that in the space of ten minutes I broke the machine.'* 

Such was life at Brook Farm. 

His friend^ip with Franklin Pierce, a classmate of 
his ait Bowdoin, was mainly responsible for his frequent 
appointments to government service. The application of 
that patriotic and high-minded political principle — ^"to the 
victors belong the spoils," has had at least one good re- 



84 MR. GOGGLES 



suit To it, American literature owes the brightest star in 
its constellation. 

Turned out at the instigation of some obscure political 
boss to makd room for a better ( ?) man, HawAome's 
gentle spirit was greatly depressed. It wasn't the first 
time it had happened, and some of the best years of his 
life had been spent in the service. 

It was with mudi trepidation, therefore, that he broke 
the unwelcome news to his wife. 

To his pleasant surprise, the announcement brought no 
corresponding sense of disaster to her courageous spirit 
On the contrary, she welcomed relief from the tasks that 
had ever proved irksome to him. 

"I am rather glad of it,** she answered. "Now you 
will have a chance to write your romance." 

"Yes, but weVe got to live meanwhile,** he replied, witfi 
an air of deep dejection. 

Mrs. Hawthorne pulled out a bureau drawer and 
showed him part of the money she had been able to save 
out of his sdary. And forthwith work on "The Scarlet 
Letter** was commenced. 

To Mr. James T. Fields, (the great Boston ptd>lisher at 
that time, part of the manuscript was submitted, and its 
completion urged. Writing to a friend, Hawthorne says: 
"Part of my story is now in Boston and the balance here, 
so we can say it is fourteen miles long, anyway.** 

In a few weeks the remainder was finished, and "The 
Scarlet Letter*' brought Hawtfiome fame in a digfat. 

The first edition was only five thousand copies, and the 
type was all distributed, no further demand being looked 
for. In a short time the orders had grown so fast that 
the book was reset and this time electrotyped. To this 
day the popularity of this charming romance knows no 



MR. GOGGLES 85 



diminution. The "best sellers" of today are but feeble 
aggregates against the endless editions of "The Scarlet 
Letter.'' 

The publication of "The Scarlet Letter" led naturally to 
a renewed interest in Hawthorne's career in the Salem 
Custom House. 

We visited this reminder of Salem's early maritime im- 
portance and of Hawthorne's early labors at the foot of 
Derby street. The pen and the inkstand which he used 
are still shown, as are also the weights, beams and stencil 
with which he marked inspected goods, "N. Haw- 
thorne." The desk at which he wrote is fortunately in 
the possession of the Essex Institute 

Tbe existence of a law prescribing the cruel penal- 
ties of "The Scarlet Letter" has been generally dis- 
trusted. Yet an actual copy of the law in antique print 
is also in the possession of the Institute and proudly ex- 
hibited to all inquirers. We met Barrie, the great Scotdi 
writer, looking around ; when shown the copy, he declared 
it to be the most valuable possession of the Society. It in- 
terested him more than anything else he saw in Salem. 

"The Blithedale Romance," "The House of Seven Ga- 
bles," "The Snow Image," "Endicott and the Red Cross," 
"Dolliver Romance," "Dr. Grimshaw's Secret," "The 
Marble Faun," quickly followed, and established Haw- 
thorne's reputation as the greatest of all American ro- 
manticists. 

"The House of Seven Gables" is an object of general 
interest to the visitor to Salem. As a matter of fact, no 
such particular house ever existed, but popular fancy has 
seized upon No. 54 Turner Street as the one referred to 
in the tale. Hawthorne frequently visited there and on 
one occasion was taken through the old house by his 



86 MR. GOGGLES 



otmsin. Miss Susan Ingersoll, who said the hooae once 
had seven gaUes. 

Coming down the crooked stairs, Hawthorne is said to 
have repeated, half aloud, "House of the Seven Gables, — 
that sounds wdl," and not long after the romance bear- 
ing this name appeared. 

It was certainly a most interesting day, Popsy, and 
I was more than pleased with what I saw and heard. 

I have, no doubt, worn your patience threadbare with 
this long letter, but I simfdy oouldnt hdp it Good 
night. 

Helen. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van Rensselaer.] 

Lincoln Hotel, Swampscott, Mass., Aug. 2. 
My Dear Van: 

I am beginning to feel somewhat uncomfortaUe over 
your continued silence. A young person who calls him- 
self a reporter joined our party last night and gave me 
rather a bad quarter of an hour at dinner. 

His paper is very fond of solving sensational prob- 
lems, and he kept me quite interested describing some of 
his past experiences. I took no particular notice of his 
remarks till he mentioned that he thought he would soon 
be employed on another similar case; a mysterious dis- 
appearance of some kind. 

I didn't care to press him for any particulars, and for- 
tunately he was somewhat reserved himself. Miss Win- 
throp, however, told me this morning that a very strange 
thing had happened in New York during our absence, 
and whidi she thought was not wholly unconnected with 
our newspaper friend's yisit tP N^w England. A young 



■■:, LIBRARY 



MR. GOGGLES 87 



Englishman, she said, had suddenly dropped out of sight, 
while at the same time a rich young American had also 
disappeared. 

"WeU/' I said, "what of that? Isn't this what you caU 
a free country?" 

"Perhaps," she answered, "but none of us are free to 
drop out of it with no explanation." 

Fortunately, she abruptly changed the subject. Our 
trip is expanding. After we do Salem, Lexington and 
G>ncord, we shall go up the Maine Coast and possibly 
further. I wish it would last forever. 

The prospect of losing her. Van, is awful. There is 
no doubt about it, she is perfectly adorable. I ought to 
know. In all our <jon5tant association she has shown so 
much consideration for everyone — ^has been so uniformly 
courteous to the guide, that I am more than ever con- 
vinced that I have made no mistake. 

"What will you do when the season ends ?" she asked 
after a short pause. "Do you 'personally conduct' in die 
winter, as well?" 

"Oh, there is Florida and California in this country, 
besides the Riviera, Italy and Egypt," I replied, evading 
a direct answer. 

"I know," she said, "but I should think you would like 
to get into something more — ^more — " 

"Respectable?" said I, laughing. 

"No. Not that exactly," she said quite seriously. 
'TBut it seems to me somehow, that you have it in you to 
be a man of affairs. Papa wasn't always rich, you know 
— ^in fact, as a boy, he was very poor — started with $50 
and an old mule," she added laughing. "The old homestead 
refused to raise anything for a time but stones and mort- 
gages." 



88 MR. GOGGLES 



''He's what you call a self-made man. Now if you 
could sell goods or get up a new brand of cigarettes, I 
believe Popsy could place you. And I believe you'd win 
out,'* she concluded, in quite a burst of enthusiasm. 

''But I don't know anydiing about tiie Tobacco busi- 
ness/' I bq;an. 

"Wen, you'd know enough not to let the others find it 
out, wouldn't you?" 

"Perhaps." 

"Suppose you were asked to think of a name for a new 
brand of Eg^tian cigarettes. What would you call 
them?" 

"Oh! I don't know. After some place in Egypt, I 
suppose — Suez, for instance, or ^" 

"No," she replied. "I see you are hopelessly ignorant 
You would pick out a name ^at meant nothing, signified 
nothing, and was as far removed from Egypt as possible. 

"Supposing your brand was a flat failure," she ccm- 
tinued. "How would you advertise it?" 

"Largest selling brand in the world!" I said, sarcasti- 
cally. 

"Right you are !" she cried. "You're not half so stupid 
as you'd like me to believe. I shall write the pater this 
very afternoon." 

I can't teiryou, Van, how delightftilfthese occasional 
tete-a-tetes are. She is altogether so charmingly frank, 
and is so honest in her endeavor to further my welfare, 
that I am beginning to dread the final outcome of this 
business. I haven't meant to deceive her, but I am afraid 
she will not relish the deception, no matter what excuse I 
offer. 

But I don't care. I win make a clean breast of die 
whole thing and throw myself on the mercy of the Court, 



MR. GOGGLES 89 



I told her the story of my colonial ancestor, Franklin-^ 
Lord Franklin, you remember, who married a pretty girl 
who was only a scullery maid in an inn at the next town 
from here, old Marblehead. She was actually scrubbing 
the stairs when my august cousin passed tiirough the 
town on a visit to Governor Wentworth, but she was ex- 
traordinarily pretty and my lord prcmiptly fell in love 
with her, sent her to England to be educated; and mar- 
ried her. Miss Winthrop thought the story very pretty, 
but said the girl took great chances. 

''What chances?'' said I. "Lots of American girls 
marry Englishmen of title nowadays and are happy." 

''Why are you always defending Englishmen of title ?*' 
she suddenly asked, giving me a glance that I felt pierced 
me through and through. 

"Because I am— because I like— because — Oh! simply 
because I think you are prejudiced," I stammered — ^and 
Van, I was frightened to death. I was so full of Lord 
Franklin that I was afraid diat in my excitement I had 
spoken of him as a kinsman, but I couldn't remember. 

"Well," she said, "perhaps I am. Anyhow, I never 
had much use for a man who wotddn't work." 

Van, I'm going to learn the tobacco business. 

Yours, 

Drysdale. 

P. S. — ^Van, do men in the tobacco business have to 
work? 



90 MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Salem, Mass., Aug. 3. 
Dear Old Sweet Thing: 

It is out of the question to write you all I want about 
diis quaint old town. It is the most interesting dty in 
the whole country. 

After a most delightful day spent among the haunts of 
Hawthorne, we took up another and more sombre page 
in the annals of old Salem — ^Witchcraft 

I often wonder, Popsy, why they don't get your adver- 
tising man down here. He'd boom the place on other and 
pleasanter lines than Witchcraft, I'm sure. Those days 
are among the most interesting in Salem's history, no 
doubt, but the episode is such a painful one, that it needs 
glossing over. 

In Justice to Salem it must be borne in mind 
that a belief in witchcraft prevailed everywhere at 
that time, and executions for this crime were frequent 
Boston was guilty of one before Salem. Persons who for- 
get this, do the town a great injustice. To read of the 
persecution and judicial murder of nineteen friendless 
and unhappy old grandmothers as a result of this craze, 
comes with a decided shock to the stranger, in spite of 
the lapse of centuries. 

In the Court House you can see the documents record- 
ing the original testimony taken at the trials. The death 
warrant of old Bridget Bishop, together with the sheriff's 
return, certifying that he had taken the poor creature out 
on Gallows Hill and there "hanged her by the neck till 
she was dead" is also shown. Some of tihe pins which 
the victims testified were found in their bodies, are also 
in this curious collection. 



MR. GOGGLES 91 



It seems incredible that in any day people could have 
be«i deprived of their lives on such flimsy evidence as 
proved sufficient for conviction in these witch trials. One 
dear old lady, Rebecca Nurse, seventy years of age and of 
exemplary character, fell a victim to the delusion. At her 
trial, a paper signed by thirty-nine of her neighbors testi- 
fying to her blameless life, was offered in her defense. 
The jury returned a verdict of "Not Guilty," but the fury 
of the mob was so great that the judges were onnpelled 
to set aside the finding and condemn her to death. She 
was accordingly executed. A granite monument, bearing 
a tribute from the pen of Whittier, now marks her resting 
place. Her home is still standing. 

The case of Giles Corey is without parallel in this coun- 
try as regards the cruel manner of his death. He was an 
octogenarian and unpopular. He was greatly interested 
in Ihe witch trials, but his wife, Martha, objected to his 
attendance. She was soon accused of witchcraft and 
the testimony of her own husband was largely instru- 
mental in causing her death sentence. 

After the trial the old man realized the grievous wrong 
he had done her, and perhaps welcomed the news that he 
himself was to be arrested on the same terrible charge. 

When arraigned for trial he absolutely refused to plead, 
notwithstanding that under the law as it then stood, he 
would be cast into prison and heavy weights put upon 
his prostrate body until he answered — or died. 

This fiendish punishment was inflicted on Giles Corey, 
three days before his wife was hanged, and he endured 
his terrible agony, till death brought relief. There is 
abundant evidence to prove that he thus purposely ex- 
piated the great wrong he had done his wife. 



92 MR. GOGGLES 

Opposite ibe site of tiie old Court House a bronze 
tablet has been erected telling the story. 

Nearly opposite this spot 

Stood, in the middle of ihp street, 

A btiildiiiig: devoted, from 1677 until 1718, 

.To municipal and Judicial uses. 

In it in 1692, 

were tried and condemned for wttdicraft 

Most of the nineteen persons 

Who suffered death on the gallows. 

Giles Corey was here put to trial 

on the same charge, and, refosing to plead. 

Was taken away and pressed to death. 

In January, i6g3, twenty-one persons 

were tried here for witchcraft, 

of whom eighteen were acquitted and 

three condemned, but later set free, 

together with about 150 accused persons. 

In a general delivery which occurred in May. 

There is still standing what is known here as the 
''Witches' House/' which is also the house in which the 
great preacher, Roger Williams, lived. In this place 
some of the trials were held. The massive beams and 
chimney, which they showed me, are the same that were 
in the house at that time. It is altered by the addition of 
a drug store and the top floors are occupied by an enter- 
prising Irishman who sells antiques and curios — a pe- 
culiarly suitable location. Otherwise it remains as orig- 
inally constructed. 

I can't help feeling a little depressed, Popsy, over this 
dark chapter in Salem's history. But the revulsi<m of 
feeling which followed the execution of poor old Rebecca 
Nurse was so great, that the belief in witchcraft was 
utterly routed, not only in Salem, but from the civilized 
world as well. "Out of evil cometh good." 

In "Alice Doane's Appeal" Hawthorne points out the 
true lesson of the witdicraft delusion, and the duty of 



MR. GCXKSLE^ 93 



marking the ^>ot where the final acts of that tragedy took 
place — SL duty which still remains to be performed. 

"Yet, ere we left the hill, we could not but regret that there 
is nothing on its barren summit^ no relk of old, nor lettered 
stone of later days, to assist the imagination in s^pealing to the 
heart We build the memorial column on the height which our 
fathers made sacred with their blood, poured out in a holy 
cause. And here, in dark funereal stone, should rise another 
monument, sadly commemorative of the errors of an early race, 
and not to be cast down, while the human heart has one in- 
firmity that may resuk in crime." 

Isn't it strange that Salem lets Hawthorne's appeal re- 
main so long unheeded? I actually heard that Gallows 
Hill itself is in the market to be sold for suburban lots. 
Do you think that's quite right, Popsy? 

I don't believe we shall have time to see much more of 
dear old Salem, though we have not exhausted its treas- 
ures by any means. We went into the Essex Institute, 
whidi is well worth a visit, and also the Peabody Insti- 
tute, founded by George Peabody, the great philanthropist, 
who, by the way, wajs bom near here and laid the founda- 
tion of his vast fortune in this village. 

In the grounds of the Essex Institute is preserved the 
original First Church in Salem. It is a curious build- 
ing, scarcely larger than a good sized room. It was, how- 
ever, the home of the oldest Congregational Society or^ 
ganized in America, the one in Rymouth having been 
transplanted from England. It was founded in 1629, and 
in 1635 enlarged. The contract for this work, in Gover- 
nor Endicott's own handwriting, is still preserved in the 
City HaU. 

It is signed also by Roger Conant — the original setUer 
of Salem, — ^he having come frcmi Cape Ann two years be- 
fore Endicott — also by William Hawthorne, (great- 
grandfather of Nathaniel Hawthorne), John Woodbury 



94 MR. GOGGLES 



and Lawrence Leach. John Pickering was the contractor 
— ^he whose descendant, Timothy, was Washington's 
great friend, and who filled tiie place of Secretary of War, 
Postmaster General, and Secretary of State in his cabi- 
nets, besides being a Senator and Representative. Rcker- 
ing was extremely prominent in several battles of the 
Revolution, and altogether was quite a national figure. 
His house still stands in Salem. It was built in 1669, 
and has been in the family ever since. 

Salem, you must know, contends with both Lexington 
and Concord and New York, for the honor of having of- 
fered the first armed resistance to the British. These 
First-Blood-spilled-in-the-Revolution places are running 
a good second with the old mammies who nursed George 
Washington. On the old North Bridge is this tablet: 

the first ^^^^ 

Armed Resistance The advance of 300 British 

to the • Troops led by Lt CoL Leslie 

Royal Authority And sent by Gen. Gage to seize 

"^^BRIDGE Munitions of War was here 

a6 Fd)y 1775 Arrested 

It must have been a more important incident than 
History usually gives it credit for, as Edmund Burke re- 
ferred to it in a speech in Parliament in which he pointed 
out the slender thread on which the peace of the kingdom 
hung, claiming that the least exertion of military power 
on that occasion would have precipitated a conflict 

Near this same old bridge occurred the death of John 
Winthrc^'s eldest son by drowning, which sad event hap- 
pened the day after he landed, to the unspeakable grief o< 
the First Governor. 






[fOBUC 



\ttLja» 



>^^^S^ 



MR. GOGGLES 95 



One of the red letter days in Salem's history is the 
visit of Lafayette. It was made the occasion of a re- 
markable demonstration — Salem having played so promi- 
nent a part in the Revolution by reason of her men and 
ships and general activity. 

I suppose I should make special mention of the fact 
that the Hon. Joseph Chamberlain, England's leading 
statesman, came here for one of Salem's girls for a bride 
— Mary Endicott, descendant of the Colonial Grovemor. 
The old Endicott house still stands and is a splendid speci-* 
men of Colonial arcKtecture.. 

Speaking of ^rdMtcXtiTf\^&^ artists and 

designers from all werTOe^wWld;ic;fiftfle:h^re to study the 
beautiful work doni ly iJi^ t^lders of Colonial days. In 
this respect the litti&j^'i^iijbccupies^ a ,\V[iique situaition in 
the realm of the creative arts. '" / , 

But I fear, Popsy, I have already written too much. 
I could not help it, however. It is certainly an event in 
my life — ^this visit to Salem. 

By the way, I have a friend whom I think would be a 
valuable addition to the forces of the Tobacco Company. 
Exactly in what department, I do not know, but his gen- 
eral all-around ability makes me feel that he could fit 
in almost anywhere. I shall give you more particulars 
when I write you again. 

With stacks and bushels of love, believe me. 

Your affect, daughter, Helen. 



MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to her Father.] 

Lexington, Mass., August oo, 19 — . 
Dear Daddy: 

Here I am in the place which you have so often de- 
scribed to me, and which I have always I<mged to see for 
myself I 

It certainly does give one little thrills to be standing 
on this consecrated ground, and it doesn't take mu^ 
imagination to see the redcoats ccmiing down the street 
and hear the beating of the drums. I stood on the Com- 
mon this morning dose by the spot where those fearless 
minute men assembled Ihat other morning and awaited 
the arrival of Pitcaim and his 800 trained soldiers, ''too 
few to resist, too brave to fly/' A gigantic boulder marks 
the spot where they stood, and on it are those brave 
words of Captain John Parker: "Stand your ground. 
Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have 
war, let it b^^in here." 

And there it began. Pitcaim ordered the men to lay 
down tiieir arms and disperse, and then occurred the first 
tragedy of the Revolution. A monument, covered with 
ivy, marks the battlefield. The monument has this in- 
scription, which shows the sentiments of the people in 
1799, when the monument was erected: 

SACRED TO THE LIBERTY AND THE RIGHTS OF 

MANKIND! I I 
TO THE FREEDOM AND INDEPENDENCE OF AMERICA 
SEALED AND DEFENDED WITH THE BLOOD OF HER 

SONS 
THIS MONUMENT IS ERECTED 

By the Inhabitants of Lexicon 
Under the Patronage and at the Expense of 

The Commonwealdi of Massadiusetts, 
To the Memory of Their Fellow Citizen^ 



MR. GOGGLES 97 



Ensign Robert Monroe and Messrs. Jonas Parkeri 

Samuel Hadky, Johnathan Harrington, Jr., 

Isaac Mnzzy, Cald> Harrington and John Brown 

of Lexington and Ashahel Porter, of Wqbum, 

Who fell on This Field, the First Victims to the 

Sword of British Tjrranny and Oppression, 

On the Morning of the Ever Memorable 

Nineteenth of April, An. Dom. 1775 

The Die Was Cast I ! ! 

The Blood of These Martyrs 

In die Cause of God and Their Country 

Was the Cen^mt of the Union of These States, then 

Colonies, and Gave the Spring to the Spirit, Firmness 

and Resolution of Their Fellow Citizens. 

They Rose as One Man to Revenge Their Brethren's 

Blood and at the Point of die Sword, to Assert and 

Defend their Native Rights. 

They Nobly Dar'd to Be Free I I 

The Contest Was Long, Bloody and Affecting. 

Righteous Heaven Approved the Solenm Appcail, 

Victory Crowned Their Arms; and 

The Peace, Liberty and Indep^dence of the United 

States of America Was Their Glorious Reward. 

House of 

JONATHAN HARRINGTON 

\dio wounded on the common 

April 19 1775 

dragged himself to the 

door and died at his 

wife's feet 

Here is one on the road leading to Concord. I give it 
exactly as k appears without punctuation: 

At thia well «>ril ip 1775 

JAMES HAYWAM) OF ACTON 

met a British soldier who raising his gun 

said you are a dead man 

And so are you replied Hayward 

Both fired The soldier was instant^ 

lolled and Hasrward mortally 

wounded 

Near this spot 

EARL PERCY 

with reinforcements planted a 

fieldpieoe to cover the retreat of tiie 

British Troops 

April 19 1775 



98 MR. GOGGLES 



The Munroe Tavern on Massachusetts Avenue bears 
this inscription: 

EARL PERCY'S 

HEADQUARTERS AND HOSPITAL 

April 19 1775 

THE MUNROE TAVERN 

Built 1695 

O9 Daddy, it makes me sad and happy all in one to 
think of those simple people who lived and died so fear- 
lessly. Truly "their hopes were stronger than their 
fears.'' No wonder that Lexii^^ton is proud of her 
martyrs, and we cannot blame Concord for being a little 
bit jealous, for, you know, the people of Concord say that 
the trouble was "merely incidental'' and might have oc- 
curred in any one of the half a dozen towns through 
which the Redcoats passed. I suppose that is true, but 
just &e same the Lexington men did assemble on the 
green, and the Concord folks may talk and scold all Aey 
please. I shall still continue to adcx-e Lexington. I was 
so thankful that Mr. Chubb did not accompany us here, 
for he would have spoiled everything! I should like to 
stop over for a week, but we must go on tomorrow to 
Concord. 

Dearest love and kisses from 

Hblen. 



[Helen Winthrop to her Father in Pittsburgh.] 

CoNCOKD^ August 26, 19—* 
Dearest Dad: 

We arrived here this morning about nine o'clock and 
engaged rooms at "The Wayside," Concord's best hotel. 
It really seems as if all those wonderful men who lived 



MR. GOGGLES 99 



here so long ago, Emerson, Hawthorne, Thoreau and 
Alcott, had cast a spell on the atmosphere. There is a 
feeling almost of consecration in the place, and as I 
looked for the first time on its quiet beauty, I kept re- 
peating to myself the words of "the Concord seer*': 

"Behind thee leave thy merchandise, 

Thy churches and thy charities; 

And leave thy peacock wit behind ; 

Enough for thee the primal mmd 
That flows In streams, that breatiies in wind 

Leave all thy pedant lore apart; 
God hid the whole world in thy heart 
Love shuns the sage, the child it crowns. 

Gives all to them who all renounce." 

This morning I strolled along the shady streets, stop- 
ping once, in a little shop to buy some photographs and 
views of the celebrities and noted places. The shop- 
keeper was a dear, little old woman with a gentle face 
and dark, pretty eyes. Everywhere one feds the pride 
and sympathy of the people in the great spirits who have 
given them their wonderful heritage. 

The old North Bridge where the minute men gathered 
is gone, but there is a rustic bridge in its place. As I 
stood there, Mr. Goggles came lounging around 
the comer, looking very comfortable and handsome in 
his white flannels. He seemed surprised to see me and 
said he had left the others to enjoy a quiet walk by him- 
self, and, as I had come away for the same purpose, it 
seemed quite natural to go on together. 

I am afraid that we did not "do the town" very sys- 
tematically; we simply wandered about and stumtded 
against interesting things. One of them, was the beauti- 
ful free library built by William Munroe and given 



<^%'^ 



X^if-- 



100 MR. GOGGLES 



"yrtth Funds for its Maintenance 

and Extension 

For the Use of the Inhabitants 

of His Native Town" 

Here we saw a fine crayon portrait of Emerson and a 

bust of Hawthorne. Then we went to the Barrett House 

and visited the ""Master Room'' wfiere the patriotic 

farmers enlisted, and after this, it was impossible not to 

wander down the Lexington road, stopping to read die 

various tablets which have been erected to commemorate 

important events. I copied the inscriptions of two of 

these tablets to send to my poor old Dad who can't see 

these things for himself. The first one is as follows : 

'This Bluff 

Was used as a Rallying Point 

By the British 

April 19, 1775. 

After a Sharp Fight 

They Returned to Fiske Hill 

From Which Thgr Were Driven 

In Great Cbnfosion. 

The second tablet was at Meriam's Comer where die 

Lexington and Bedford roads join: 

^ne British Troops 

Retreating From The 

Old North Bridge 

Were Here Attacked m Flank 

By the Men of Concord 

Aiid Neighboring Towns 

And Driven Under a Hot Fire 

To Charlestown.** 

Right near this spot stands a yellow house in sudi 

apparent good condition, that one has to get quite dose, 

before one sees that its poor old face is covered with the 

wrinkles of Sigt. Of course, you have already guessed 

that this was the Meriam House. A very nice, old man 

took us inside, and we lodced at the curious dosets and 

the old oven, and tried to imagine the consternation of 



MR. GCXKJLES xoi 



poor Mrs. Meriam that cold April morning when the 
British troops came so near helping themselves to the 
&mily breakfast I 

Possibly this may have reminded us that it was lundi 
time, but we lingered to visit one more place of interest, 
Munroe's Tavern, where the British troops gathered. It 
is little changed, and the taproom is exactly the same as 
it was on that day when the impetuous Pitcaim stirred 
his toddy with his fingers and swore that he would do 
likewise "with the blood of the rebels in the morning." 

We came back to the hotel, tired and hungry and fairly 
dizzy with all our sensations and impressions. This after- 
noon, but really I mustn^t tell you about that, now! It 
is time for dinner, so good-bye, dear. 

Yom- loving, Helen. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

The Colonial Arms, Gloucbstbr, Mass. 
Dear Van: 

And still no letter from you! I declare I'm getting 
nervous. What in the world can the matter be? Wire 
me on receipt of this, to let me know at least that you are 
alive. 

Our trip, as I wrote you, is expanding. Yesterday was 
spent in Concord, and I declare. Van, it was almost the 
most interesting day yet 

Never before was Her Highness so sweet and gradous. 
For once, my party seemed willing to entertain eadi other, 
so Miss Winthrop and I were alone together most of the 
day. I improved the opportunity to fall more madly in 
love with her than ever— if that were possible. 

We first went to Emerson's old home, passing on the 



I02 MR. GOGGLES 



way the First Qiurch in which he preached in his early 
days, and in which the first Provincial Congress met, 
under the leadership of John Hancock and Samuel Adams. 
Those stormy days, just before the outbreak of the war, 
had their beginning in this sleepy old town. The original 
church building was burned down, but the present one is a 
duplicate as nearly as possible. 

A little beyond Emerson's house is "Wayside,'' one of 
Hawthorne's Concord homes. The other, "The Old 
Manse," lies in a different direction. Here was written 
''Moses from an Old Manse." 

Tucked under the ridge is the Hillside Chapel of the 
never-to-be-forgotten group of Concord Philosophers, 
founded by Bronson Alcott Here also was the famous 
Brook Farm community, composed of men and women 
nearly all of whom rose to distinction in later life. 

Of this number were George William Curtis, Chas. A. 
Dana, the Alcotts, Phoebe, Louisa and Bronson, Margaret 
Fuller, Emerson, Channing, Agassiz, James Russdl 
Lowell, Sanborn, Thoreau, Hawthorne, George Ripley 
and others. 

It was founded on the idea of a community of interest 
and certainly was a unique and thoroughly ideal- 
istic organization. That it failed to survive the conditions 
which surrounded it was no fault of the brilliant intel- 
lects which conceived the plan. 

Thoreau lived in a little cabin on the edge of Walden 
Pond. The Emersons had lived for many generations in 
Concord. The Old Manse was the home of the Rev. 
William Emerson, grandfather of Ralph Waldo, and 
from its windows he watched the fight at the old North 
Bridge on that memorable morning in April and saw the 
shot fired that was heard round the world. 



THE new loni 
FOfiUC liBRART 

fotmoATSoan 



MR. GOGGLES 103 



The fighting parson narrowly missed actual partidpa- 
tion in the fray. At sunrise he had answered Dr. Prcs- 
cott's alarm and joined the gathering of Minute Men on 
the little eminence above the Bridge called Mile Long 
Bridge. As die British approached, in numbers treble 
those of their antagonists, the good doctor went to the old 
manse to see if all was well with his family and was 
there lodced in, presunrably by some of his devoted par- 
ishioners, who feared he might recklessly expose himself. 

But I don't want to weary you about the battle of Con- 
cord and Lexington. Miss Winthrop is writing about it 
to her father. The place remains much as it did then. 
The first British soldiers who were killed in the Rev<Ju- 
tion fell here, and are bu|fed^5RS3^^:^Mqpe-,wa^ just a 
few feet from the bridge i44f^ i^'ilj^VV^) e: : i» > 

Monroe's Tavern, wher^. me Brttish tfoops* fathered, 
is still standing and is hutilittl^^dfiMgeAi^'The^proom 
and the table on which PijtciSJSi 3^ tiis J<^4!^^ ^^ 
stirred it with his fingers "as I will do with the blood of 
rebels in the morning," is preserved exactly as it was on 
that fateful day. Meriam's Comer, where the Minute 
Men ran during the retreat to cut the enemy off, is, I am 
told, wholly unchanged. A bronze tablet teUs the story 
of the pursuit which lasted from this comer almost to 
Charlestown. 

During Washington's occupation of Cambric^e, Har- 
vard College was moved to Concord and remained here 
until the end of the war. 

In the afternoon we went to Sleepy Hollow cemetery — 
where rests all that is mortal of Hawthorne, Channing, 
Thoreau, Emerson, Sherman Hoar and Senator George 
Frisbie Hoar (of the family of statesmen) who have 
made their hom^ in Concord for generations. 



I04 MR. GOGGLES 



Margaret Sidney, whose delightful series of stories 
"The Five Little Peppers," for young folks, is also a 
resident of this village. 

In my discussions with Miss Winthrop I am afraid I 
made some very lame explanations to account for my 
rather surprising intimate knowledge of Concord and its 
surrowidings. But you know. Van, tiiat under the cir- 
cumstances it was entirely natural. I remarked that of 
necessity all this material must be known to me, as it was 
my business to have it on the tip of my tongue. Never- 
theless, she was slightly curious, but a threatened accident 
which, but for my instant action, would have resulted seri- 
ously — saved both her and myself, and accomplished won- 
ders for me at the same time. 

A motor car came around a bend in die road at in- 
credible speed. I had scarcely time to grasp Miss Win- 
throp in my arms and step back into safety, before the 
machine was upon us and gone. It was a very narrow 
escape, and to my great satisfaction she showed her ap- 
preciation by a much friendlier manner all the afternoon. 

Certain things seem to convince me that this girl is 
absolutely sincere in her utter disregard of social posi- 
tion, etc. I have a growing belief that if she loved me, 
the fact of my humble occupation would not weigh with 
her, if she had once made up her mind. 

I am beginning to wonder what the outcome of the 
whole thing will be. 

I wish I knew. And, Van, if there's the first spark of 
manhood or decency in you, write me a letter. 

Yours, 

Drtsdalb. 



MR. GOGGLES 105 



ILetter from Helen to her Father. I 

The Wayside Inn, Ltnn, Mass. 
Dear Pop: 

It was very good of you to send me another cable, and 
though you shocked me with the prodigality of your ex- 
pense, I felt that the occasion was ample justification. 

We ran down here irom Boston this morning, stop- 
ping at a number of rather interesting places on the 
way down. Our route took us through a little place 
called Saugus, which ought to be very dear to Car- 
negie's heart, for here was established the first iron works 
in the country. 

Passing the Lynn Marshes, made famous by the paint- 
ings of Harlow and others, we sped through Lynn it- 
self, the great shoe city of New England and a town of 
Aladdin-like fortunes. Here also. Christian Science was 
bom, Mrs. Eddy living in Broad street at the time of 
the inception of the cult. One of the main plants of the 
great General Electric Company is also here. 

A great State Boulevard, skirting the shore, now con- 
nects Boston with all the North Shore towns. A noble 
thoroughfare it is, ^ith its magnificent sea wall, cement 
walks, fn^cadam roadwtay, prem terraces, (and {^hade 
trees. Opposite Lynn lies Nahant, where Longfellow 
lived when he wrote "The Bells of Lynn." Senator 
Lodge is about the last of the old families to retain his 
residence in Ais charming neck of land. A trolley line 
now goes over the state roa<i connecting Nahant with 
the mainland, and soon the hills of Little Nahant will be 
cut up into small lots to provide for Lynn's ever increas- 
ing industrial army. 



io6 MR. gcxk;les 



Professor Elihu Thomson, one of the founders of the 
great General Electric Co., is still living in Swampscott 

The story of the building up of this great industry is 
quite interesting. The General Electric Company is the 
combination of the Thomson-Houston Electric Company 
and thie Edison General in 1892. Professors Elihu Thom- 
son and Edwin J. Houston began work in the electrical 
field in Philadelphia before 1880. The former, in that 
year, went to New Britain where tEe infant industry 
which afterwards became the Thomson-Houston Com- 
pany was established. In about three years from that 
time the industry was removed to Lynn, and under the 
management of Mr. Charles A. CoflSn, who is now presi- 
dent of the company, it has grown to its present im- 
portance. Mr. Cofiin at that time was in the shoe business. 
He was one of die original syndicate of Lynn gentlemen 
who became interested in the new enterprise at the time 
of the establishment of the electric industry in Lynn. 
His growing interest in this direction caused him in a 
short time to retire from the shoe Irasiness, and it can 
truthfully be said that to his enterprise, energy and per- 
severance, the corporation as it now exists is mainly due. 
In 1892, the Thomson-Houston Company, which had 
grown to be a very important manufacturing enterprise 
in Lynn, and whose products were sent everjrwhere, was 
united with the Edison General Electric Company, the 
works of which were in Schenectady, Mr. Coffin and 
many of the (^cers of the former company taking diarge 
of the affairs. 

The house of President Coffin is on Ocean street, and 
adjoins that of Mr. Tuttle, president of the Boston ft 
Maine R. R., one of the most beautiful streets in America. 
Beyond Swampscott is old Marblehead, one of the most 



MR. GOGGLES 107 



picturesque towns on the map. It was from here and 
from Beverly, an adjoining town, that the sailors came 
who conducted Washington in safety across the Dela- 
ware in his remarkable retreat from Trenton. 

It seems a shame not to go more into the history of 
Marblehead than I have done. The first Episcopal 
Chtuch in America — St. Michael's-By-the-Sea— is here 
and in active use. The pulpit, reredos, hall and com- 
munion service, are the original ones that came from 
England, and the church boasts of some silver presented 
by Queen Anne. It had a stormy time during the Revolu- 
tion. Its rector at that period was the one who later 
pronounced the banns between Martha Custis and Geoige 
Washington. 

A monument erected in honor of Captain Mumford 
and his men, vrho boarded the British man-of-war Ranger 
during the Revolution, and carried her a captive at the 
end of marlinspikes, is also a prominent feature in the 
town. 

The queer crooked streets with no sidewalks are un- 
like anything else on the coast. An old dismantled pre- 
Revolutionary fort guards the entrance to a harbor fam- 
ous the world over. The "Neck," as it is called, is given 
over to the summer colony. 

One of the notable structures at Beverly Farms be- 
yond Marblehead is that of the Swifts of Chicago. And 
thereby hangs a tale. 

The original Swifts, (E. C. and G. F.) were Cape 
Codders and were engaged in the beef business. Some 
friends of theirs, J. B. Thomas of Peabody, John Sawyer 
of Peabody, and N. E. Hale of Boston, raised some capi- 
tal for them to go West and engage in the cattle business 



io8 MR. GOGGLES 



— the omipetition from that source having shown signs 
of direatening eastern stq>reniaGy. 

So like the Bell Telephone, the great G)i>per Mines 
and the General Electric we also owe Ae great Packing 
Industry to our modes! friends along the North Shore. 

From about the Swift place clear up to Cape Ann the 
shore is lined with magnificent residences. It is specially 
favored by the foreign ambassadors at Washington who 
frequent Magnolia in large numbers. I cannot dose, 
Popsy, without telling you something of the real natives 
who live a little back in the country— the ones who are 
directly the opposite of the migratory trirds who line the 
shores in summer. Goggles gives an amusing account 
of the first letter ever written to his wife by a certain 
old gentleman in this neighborhood. Where he got it 
I don't know. 

The couple had never been separated in all the years 
of their married life until 'Ta,'' at the age of seventy, 
concluded to visit some relatives in Boston. 

When he was preparing to start on his memorable 
trip his wife, who was to remain at home, said: 

"Pa, you never writ me a letter in your life, an* I 
do hope when you git safely Aere youll write me a line 
and let me know how you bore the journey. Ill buy a 
sheet of paper and give you a wafer, so you won't have 
no trouble about that'' 

Pa was absent a week, and, faithful to his promise, he 
sent a letter. It read thus: 

''Respected Lady: 

"I got here safe, and I am very well, and I hopt 
you are the same. I shall be glad to git home, for tiie 
pride of the airth that I see here is enough to ruin tiie 



MR. GOGGLES X09 



nation. Gadt the women folks are too lazy to set up in 
their carriages. They loll back and lode as if they was 
goin' to sleep, and I don't s'pose one of 'em could milk a 
cow or feed a pig. 

"Nephew Abijah has a proper dairy of horses, an' I 
have rid all over Boston. There w'an't no need o' puttin' 
them boughten buttons on my coat, for nobody noticed 
'em. I am, 

"Your Respected Husband." 

Well, that will be about all this time. 
From your respected, 

Daughtei. 



no MR. GOGGLES 



Chaftbb m 

[Letter from Drysdale to Van Rensselaer.] 

Dear Van: 

I have decided that you are unspeakaUe. I hope you 
will sooo adorn that drde of society to which your emi- 
nent talents so justly entitle you. In future I shall en- 
deavor to select my acquaintances elsewhere than from 
the ranks of the criminal classes. 

We had quite an interesting walk on the beadi today — 
Helen and I — ^I mean. Miss Winthrop. She was in one 
of her buoyant moods and gave free vent to her fandes. 
She was talking of the future in a general way. 

"I believe I shall miss you s<Hnewhat/' she remarked, 
with a look in her eyes that made me feel that it was 
about the last thing which would trouble her. ''Yes, I 
really mean it," noting my look. 

"You seem to have all the outward and visible signs 
of a well-bred person," she omtinued, "and your om- 
versation at times is quite tolerable. Nor do you per- 
sist in wearing garments reddent of gasoline, as your 
kin generally do." 

"Yes, mem," I murmured. 

"Show your teeth, Bosco," she added, noting my 
rather doleful expression. "There, that's better. It's 
always better to laugh than to cry. Now, I have some- 
times thought I would not be averse to a man constructed 



MR. GOGGLES in 



somewhat on your plan," looking at me critically, as if I 
were a new gown. ''Why couldn't you have had 
sense enough to be better bom?" she asked suddenly. 

"That was hardly of my choosing," I ventured to re- 
mark. 

"Never mind; you should have given your personal 
attention to such an important matter. Now it's too late. 
Too late," and she looked genuinely distressed. 

The mood suited me, and I had no desire to divert the 
flow of her thoughts. 

"I have one or two fairly famous ancestors," I com- 
menced 

"Oh ! Family trees ! Fiddlesticks," she answered ; "It's 
what a man is himself, that counfts. I don't believe in 
pedigree." 

"You may not," I answered, "but blood will tell. How 
about your father?" 

"Self-made, every inch of him." 

"How about Abraham Lincoln?" I asked. "We see 
that his ancestors in Hingham were certainly men of un- 
usual prominence in the early days of the country. His 
was, to my mind, clearly a case of suspended animation. 
I can't help but think that the spirit of these old an- 
cestors reappears, streng^ened and reincarnated by 
the enforced idleness of the intervening non-productive 
years." 

"You, I suppose, are tr3ring to make out that you are 
tfie product of unproductive years?" 

"I'm not dead yet. You are kind enough to say that 
I do the work at hand in a satisfactory manner. Perhaps 
more important tasks will yet fall to my lot." 

She looked up rather inquiringly. "If you talk like 
that to pater, I am quite sure you will land a soft thing in 



112 MR. GOGGLES 



the Tobacco company. Meanwhile/' she concluded, ''let 
us change the subject If s almost too bad I can't have you 
myself. Honest You're a good sort, and the girl that 
gets you won't get a lemon, either." 

I couldn't understand that last remark. Van, but from 
her manner I think it was kindly meant But I'm not 
fruit, as she admitted. 

It seemed all very delightful. She spdce with an air 
of half r^^etfulness, and I really begin to feel that under 
more favorable circumstances I would stand a fair diance. 
How to maintain my present attitude and still succeed is 
the question. I am at present tiie victim of her dear 
inconsistency. I wish I had grown up ''in trade." But 
I didn't Why don't I own one of these stores, with a 
fearful looking wooden Indian outside? 

On the way home she again referred to the subject 
*'I did not mean to hurt your feelings," she remarked, 
''and you must pardon my seeming rudeness. I am sinr 
cere in wishing you well." 

"Thank you, mem," I answered. "It is very nice of 
you. But I could comprehend you more dearly if you 
were more consistent — ^if you will pardon the liberty." 

"How so?" with raised eyebrows. ^ '^ 

"It's not for me to criticise," I said, "but a week ago 
you would have nothing of birth or breeding. Now yon 
politely decline a heart and hand that was never of- 
f erred you, on the score of plebian origin." 

She smiled. 

"Now, what's a poor chauffeur going to do? I con- 
fess that the mere thought of marrying you is entranc- 
ing. If I had met you on your father's fann— you say 
his marvelous career is all within your own lifetime — wc 
should in all probability have aUowed matters to go to 



MR. GOGGLES ^ 113 



their own delightful e«ding. As it is now, when this 
trip is over I'm going back to England." 

^'Going back?*" with a ^lade of a tremor in her vcnoe. 

''I think so, — ^miless/' I added, smiling, ''something 
tnms up definitely in your garage or the Tobacco busi- 



No response. 

*Tfou see that old spire over there?' 1 remarked pres- 
ently, pointing in the direction of old Marblehead. 

"Yes." 

''Well, opposite that church is the inn where Lord 
Franklin met his future wife. She was washing the 
steps as he entered. In the end, as I told you, she 
married the nobleman and became the Lady Franklin. 
You can read all about it in your school books." 

"Very pretty," she said. "Perhaps you can tell equally 
romantic tales of how Dottie Dimple married Lord Noo- 
dles, or how Floradora Footlights married the Earl of 
Emptyh^d?" 

"You may not believe it," I said, "but these same mes- 
alliances, as you call them, are a good thing sometimes." 

"Ever read Longfellow's 'Courtship of Miles Stand- 
iA'?' 

I reddened. 

Nothing more was said for a few moments; then. 

"It's a lovely day." 

"It has been. It's now almost six." 

Good night. Van. Wherever you are, may Heaven 
protect and defend you. You'll need all kinds of help 
when I find you. 

Yours, 

Drysdale. 



114 ' MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Miss Winthrop to her Paiher.] 

Colonial Arms, Gloucbstbr. Mass. 
Dear Pop: 

This is merely a postscript to my last letter. Only it 
is so different in subject that I thought I wouldn't jumble 
it up with telephone, beef and electricity. 

It has to do with a very beautiful and lovely service 
which is rendered every February in memory of the poor 
fishermen of the village who have lost their lives during 
the preceding winter in their hazardous occupation. 

The courage and daring of the Gloucester fisherman 
is proverbial. But neither his skill nor his prowess avail 
him much when one of these terrible fogs descend on the 
Banks shutting out completely the whereabouts of the 
schooner from the men in the yawl. When a storm fol- 
lows this calm, as it usually does, woe betide the luckless 
fisherman adrift on the bleakest coast in Christend(xn. 
With nothing to shield him from the fury of the elements 
and but a frail dory in which to make (the contest, the 
combat is an tmequal one. Small wonder it is then, that 
the death list at Gloucester is a long one, and that every 
storm leaves a broken heart at Cape Ann. 

Norman's Woe, a particularly dangerous ledge, the 
scene of Longfellow's poem, "The Wreck of the Hes- 
perus," lies just outside the harbor of Gloucester. All 
along the coast are others almost as bad. But the silent 
treachery of the fog on the Banks is the greatest danger 
of all. 

And so once each year a Memorial Service is held in 
the town. The school children gather at a place on the 
shore and strew flowers on the waves in memory of the 
brave lads who will never again be seen in the quaint old 



MR. GOGGLES iiS 



streets of the little village that welcomed them so eagerly 
on each return. 

It is a very solemn occasion, but to my mind singularly 
sweet and sacred. It is one of the few things I shall al- 
ways be pleased to remember. 

I shall stop writing a few days in order that you may 
have a chance to catch up. 

Your affectionate daughter, 

Helen. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Profile House, Rianconia, New Hampshire. 
Dear Popsy: 

The nearer I get to New York the more I am pleased 
with the prospect of meeting you. I shall, of course, ex- 
pect to meet — ^not a great Captain of Industry — ^but my 
own old, dear, sweet, popsadoodles. 

No doubt the camera men will snap you as you cross 
the bridge, leaning, I hope, on the arm of the dear daugh- 
ter to whom you wrote so many charming letters while 
in London. I hope the reporters won't forget that, at 
least. 

It is, of course, beyond my powers of description to 
tell you of the many beauties of this wonderful region. 
For a full and unabridged account I must refer you to 
the inspired pages of the advertising literature sent upon 
request by all the hotels, railroads and steamship com- 
panies. I can truthfully say that even they, with all their 
self-interest, cannot say too much of the manifold beau- 
ties of this region. It must be seen to be appreciated. 

Aside from the White Mountains this state, I think, 
has a stronger claim upon our affections as the originator 



Ii6 MR. GOGGLES 



of an idea that should appeal to every community in oar 
country— Old Home Week. 

To the Honorable Frank W. Rollins, one time govern-^ 
or of this state, is due the inception of this splendid 
thought. He recognized the yearning that is in the 
hearts of all of us to visit, at least, once before we die, 
the scenes of our childhood. I have often heard you 
give voice to the same impulse, and I am sure it needs 
but some general expression of the same feeling to soon 
make you one of the band of devoted pilgrims who now, 
from every node and comer of our country, come to visit 
their old New England homes. 

I cannot think of anything that has interested me more 
tlum this Old Home Week. At Boscawen, the returning; 
sons and daughters of the little village decided to mark 
the boyhood homes of those among them who achieved 
fame and glory in the great wide world beyond. 

At the home of Johnny Dix, as the people remembered 

him, they erected a bronze tablet on the fine old house in 

which he was bom. 

BIRTHPLACE OF 
GEN. JOHN A. DIX 
BORN JULY 24, iTqS. 

"if anybody attempts to HAX7L DOWN 
THE AMERICAN FLAG, SHOOT HIM ON THE SFOT!" 

The same old mansion subsequently descended to busi- 
ness purposes. And among the first tenants was a young 
obscure lawyer of whom the country was to hear much 
of at a later period. So the next tablet reads: 

ON THIS SITE A. a 1805 
STOOD THE FIRST LAW OFFICE OF 

HON. DANIEL WEBSTER, 

THE GREATEST INTEJUPRETER OF THE AMERICAN CONSnTUTIDN, 
ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREAT ORATORS. 
''LIBERTY AND UNION, NOW AND FQREVIR 
/i^i ONI ANO INSEPARABLE.'' ...i> 



MR. GOGGLES 117 



Another tablet was erected to Wm. Pitt Fessenden, 
who succeeded the great Chase as secretary of the treas- 
ury in Lincobi's cabinet during the troublous days of the 
Qvil War. 

Similar interest in the recognition of old time neigh- 
bors who achieved greatness, has marked the gatherings 
of Old Home Week throughout all New England. For 
the movement has spread through every state, and year 
by year grows in interest and popularity. During the 
early summer almost every business house affixes to its 
correspondence a ^'sticker'' calling attention to Old 
Home Week, which is now held in Aug^t 

They tell rather a good story on Albert E. Pillsbury, 
former attorney-general of Massadiusetts, who re- 
turned to Amherst in OH Home Week. He noticed 
that the home of an old neighbor of his, Horace Greeley, 
possessed no mark to indicate its historic interest 

Accordingly he had prepared and placed on the house 
a tablet inscribed: 

''bIBTHPLACE of HORACE GREELEY." 
FOUNDER OF THE 
NEW YORK TRIBUNE. 

While he was engaged in the task, an alien native 
passed, paused to read the inscription, and, turning to 
Mr. Pillsbury, remarked with some acidity: "The gall of 
some of you fellers that hev made money in the city is 
fairly sick'nin'. What do you suppose folks care whether 
you was bom on this farm or some other farm? Them's 
my sentiments, Mr. Greeley, and don't you fergit it'* 

The sentiments inspired by this annual reunion of old 
time neighbors is not only of the most elevating nature, 
but it seems to have its practical side as well. 

More than one "Old Homer*' who has prospered in 



ii8 MR. GOGGLES 



this world's goods has had stirred within him the desire to 
secure possession of his old boyhood home for a sum- 
mer place. Many abandoned farms have thus been re- 
claimed, and many more have found tenants that would 
never have been attracted otherwise. 

The program of exercises at these gatherings is as 
unique as it is interesting. The keynote seems to be local 
pride in the success of those who had achieved position 
in the outside world, on the one side, and love for the 
scenes and home of boyhood days, on the other. 
The speeches are for the most part impromptu and in- 
formal, and relate largely to reminiscences of the past. 
Some of the G>mmittees arrange collections of historical 
interest pertaining to their individual towns. Others 
transform the town hall into a resemblance of the interior 
of an old farmhouse for the evening indoor exercises, 
lighting it with Candles and lanterns and decorating it 
lavishly with the simple flowers of the neighborhood — 
asters, sunflowers, sweet peas, etc., etc. 

I am quite certain, Popsy, that if next August finds 
you in this cotmtry it will also find you making this 
pilgrimage with me. 

It's a grand good idea. Papa, and I can think of noth- 
ing that could improve the present arrangements. 
Strangers are beginning to become interested, and it is 
certainly a great novelty to those who have never seen 
the celebration. 

The idea has spread even to those far away parts of 
our country like California, whose New England contin- 
gent cannot very well make the journey. 

They gather together at some convenient location 
nearer their homes, and celebrate Old Home Week in 
company with their neighbors back on the old farm. 



THE NEW YOKK 
PUni.IC LIBRARY 



: ENOI 

l-IDATIOHl 



MR. GOGGLES 1x9 



Altogether Governor Rollins probably never rendered 
his state a greater service than when he hit upon the 
idea of Old Home Week. 

I am b^^inning to feel homesick myself. When shall I 
see you? 

Your affectionate, 

Helen. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

. Hotel Wbntworth, 
Newcastle, near Portsmouth, N. H. 
Dearest: 

There's no need to enlighten you as to the whereabouts 
of this particular spot on the map. I cheerfully admit 
that you keep in close touch with world events at any 
rate, even if smaller things fail to interest your gigantic 
intellect. 

And so we are at the famous meeting place of the 
Russian and Japanese plenipotentiaries who are here 
trying to arrange a settlement of the present deplorable 
conflict^ 

Never before has a summer resort hostelry been so 
suddenly transformed from a state of semi-somnambu- 
lency into a position where not only the fierce white light 
that beats upon a throne descends upon it, but where a 
dozen fierce white lights are upon it, all at once. 

The Tower of Babel is perhaps the only parallel for the 
numerous tongues that are spoken here. For once this 
dear old part of Jthe country^which in its early^days pre. 



xao MR. GOGGLES 



served wahrckm for one bandred and fifty years tbe 
parity of its English, has had its traditions ruddy shat- 
tered French, Russian, Spanish, German, J^ianese, 
Chinese, Dutdi, Italian, Hungarian, Polidi and every 
other nationality is represented in some sort of fashioii. 
Famous correspondents, noted writers in every tongue, 
soldiers, sailors, statesmen and all the component parts 
that go to make up oflSdaldom are here by scores. 
Gunera men hy the hundreds are everywhere. Special 
artists, special this, and special that, are thicker than bees 
around the hive. It is all very inspiring and wo nd erf u lly 
interesting. 

Count Witte, the huge leader of the Russian forces, 
seems to be the one who attracts the most attentba Per- 
haps that is on account of his tremendous size. It makes 
him easily recognizable. But he is much esteemed for his 
great fame as a diplomatist 

The Baron Komuri, though undoubtedly a wonderfully 
able man, suffers much by physical contrast with his 
Russian opponent Scraps of gossip reach us from time 
to time and create the most intense excitement 

One moment terms are agreed upon by common re- 
port and the work of President Roosevelt seems to be 
crowned with success. The next moment, a fatal objec- 
tion has been encountered, the Russians have refused to 
discuss the matter further and the whole affair seems 
to be doomed to failure. 

Sentiment among the guests seems to be not to con- 
cern itself so mudi with the terms of settlement as to a 
settlement of some kmd of itself. So long as the affair is 
a success they don't care much one way or the other 
which wins'the^diplomatic victory. 

C6unt Witte is reported this morning as having furi- 



MR. GOGGLES wi 



ously rejected the Japs demand for indemnity. All over 
the place one can hear his stubborn refusal, ^Not a 
kopeck!" repeated by everyone. The situation at present 
lodes very dubious. I cannot see how they can possibly 
agree from all accounts but they may after all. How- 
ever, we cannot wait for the outcome. 

This old town is wonderfully interesting of itself. I 
recall with lively interest that most delightful of all boys' 
bodes, "The Story of a Bad Boy." The home of the 
author, Thomas Bailey Aldridi, in G>urt street, is much 
sought after by visitors. 

But i>erhaps die most interesting building in the whole 
r^on hereabouts is the historic mansion of Governor 
Benning Wentworth, about two miles out of town, built 
in 1750. Itwas^from this house*that the famous Stamp 
Act was issued which so enraged the Colonists that the 
Revolution ultimately broke out. 

The Wentworths seem to have been notable people and 
diis particular mansion, aside from its historical impor- 
tance, was filled in its day with the most impressive furni- 
ture, carvings, paintings and decorations that could well 
be imagined. It originally contained fifty-two rooms but 
by the removal of a portion this number was reduced to 
forty-five. 

The Wentworths being Ro3ralist Governors, were of 
course expatriated during the war and their possessions 
confiscated. The summer home of the family at Little 
Harbor was the center of social and political activity in 
its day. A visit to the old place is still one of the delights 
of the visitor to Portsmouth. 

The oldest dwelling in New Hampshire — ^the Weeks 
bouse, built in 1638, is also here — or at Greenland, not 
&r distant. The Warner house, the Governor Langdon 



122 MR. GOGGLES 



house, the Ladd house, the Meserve house, all built in the 
early years of tiie eighteenth century, are still standing 
and in an excellent state of preservation. 

But of all the old houses the one occupied by Allen, 
boatswain to Paul Jones, tiie first great captain of our 
Navy, seemed to interest me the most 

The grave of Admiral David Glasgow Farragut, hero 
of Mobile Bay and New Orleans, is also here. 

Along the Piscataqua and across one of the bridges 
brings you to the Portsmouth Navy Yard. This is really 
Kittery Point 

On tiie left as you approach the Yard is an old man- 
sion once the h(»ne of Sir William Pepperell, the Con- 
queror of Louisburg. This briHiant ^cploit, popsy, de- 
serves a whole letter by itself. And I will tell it to you 
some day. 

It was to the Portsmouth Navy Yard that Admiral 
Cervera and other officers and men captured at the bat- 
tle of Santiago were taken. Oh! there's lots to see and 
hear about old Portsmouth if one were only interested 
as I fear you are not. 

For a long time all that was left of that grand old 
ship "Old Ironsides'* lay rotting her life away at the dodc. 
She has since been transferred to Oiarlestowii, there to 
continue the ignominious career commenced at Ports- 
mouth. Every little while some agitation is set afoot 
looking toward a rehabilitation of this grand old ship 
but notfiing is ever done. It's a shame and reproadi to 
our government. 

Now I really must stop. You will probably read in 
the papers long before this letter reaches you, all about 
the final settlement of the Peace Negotiations. But the 
other things in Portsmouth interested me more. 

Your loving daughter, Helen, ^ 



%*/r 



MR. GOGGLES 1^3 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 
Dear Van: 

At the present rate of progress I have but one more 
week of decency and respectability left. After that the 
deluge. 

But what care you^ safe 'neath sunny Southern skies, 
hugely enjoying no doubt my sorry plight, and twin- 
kling a song of thankfulness that your own precious neck 
is in no similar danger of stretdiing. 

Ask that lovely senorita .to sing that over again for 
me, won't you please? It was delightful. Was there 
ever sudi charming music and have tiie stars ever shone 
so brightly before? 

"Uxtree! Uxtree! Full account horrible murder in 
New York! Uxtree!! Uxtree!|!|!f 

That concerns me. Van. The newsboys have been 
yelling it for the last half hour. The trail is getting 
warmer. This may be the last letter you will ever re- 
ceive from me. Van. When you lode upon my cold, up- 
turned face, and remember that just one short message 
from you would have saved that young and beautiful 
life, I wonder if a spark of pity will reach that cold chilled 
drop-forged heart of yours? I doubt it. 

And just when everything was going on nicely with 
Helen — ^Miss Winthrop, I mean. 

A rather curious incident happened since I wrote you 
last. Aunt Fanny, Mr. Chubb and the others arranged 
to attend a hop at one of the summer hotels near here 
last night. At the appointed hour no Chubb, i«o Aunt 
Fanny. Instead, a telephone from somewhere up in the 
woods that tire troubles would detain them some time 
and for Miss Winthrop to proceed to the dance and 
await their arrival. 



124 MR. GOGGtgS 



Then another 'phone from Aunt Fanny, this time say- 
ing she would have another attack of her old trouble un- 
less she dined at her accustomed hour, and she would 
sup at the excellent hostdry whither they had stepped 
for repairs. More dday. 

"Gc^les," said Miss Winthrop, "You'll have to woric 
overtime tonight, if you don't mind. I'll have to ask 
3rou to escort me over to the Wentworth, dine with me 
there, and await the condusion of the hop. Aunt Fanny 
18 detained but will join us later. No one knows us, so 
for tonight you nmy impersonate one of your famous 
ancestors— reincarnated, — ^while we dine." 

I dropped the "Yes, mem/' business this time, bowed 
low, and expressed the pleasure that I really and truly 
fdt 

"For tonight then, I am say — Lord Arthur Hamilton, 
eldest son of the Earl of Lenox," I said, laughing at the 
curious application of my contention of a few days ago. 

"Yes, my lord," she replied, with an elaborate curtsy, 
"for tonight" And nodding gayly she left the room. 

On the way to my quarters, which I speedily changed, 
I sdected the handsomest duster of American beauties 
the house afforded — and sent them to her room "with the 
compliments of Hamilton." 

Underneath the tonneau was my evening dress. It 
has come in so useful oa many unexpected occasions that 
I am never without it. This time I could have kissed it 
from sheer gratitude. 

It was the work of but a short time in my new quarters 
to get a good bath, shave, and dean up, generally. I 
was soon in the hall awaiting her appearance. 

Van, I cannot describe the vision of loveliness that 
soon burst upon me — and with my roses leaning l^tiy 



MR. GOGGLES 125 



on her arms! I tell you, my boy, it was worth all the 
trouble Tve gone to and nK>re! 

My heart sank as she swept past, with never a look of 
recognition I Had she after all, repented ? ^ 

She took a seat at the table, but kept her ^es discreetly 
in another direction. I finally resolved to speak. 

"PardcMi me, Miss Winthrop," I said quietly; "but 
if you regretted your action of an hour ago I will dismiss 
Lord Hamilton and bring back ' Goggles/ '' 

For a moment she was speechless. Then putting out 
her hand in the most cordial manner possible, she said: 
"I did not expect the transformation to be quite so com- 
plete. Forgive me, my Lord" — ^this latter, a little bit sar- 
castically, I fear. 

And so we went in to dinner. 

If I am not hung, drawn and quartered within the 
next twenty-four hours — ^thanks to you — ^I shall write 
you the result of playing a Lord at a one-night stand in 
the old colony of Massachusetts Bay. 

Yours in ecstasy, 

Drysdale. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

Dear Van: 

The cruel death, which you have so kindly meted out to 
me, is very inopportune at the present mcxnent It has 
likewise no further terrors for me. I dined last night 
with Miss Winthrop. 

I think you had better postpone the execution. I am 
consumed with a f everislt— nay burning — desire to live 
a little longer. A week will be better than nothing. 
Away with mdancholyl Let joy be unconfined! 



ia6 MR. GOGGLES 



It was a night in a thousand years. 

When we were ocHnfortaUy seated I picked up the 
UU of fore. ""ShaU I order the dinnerri asked 

A slight affirmative nod acoonq>anied by an amused 
smile of incredulity. 

I submitted the list of my selections, which met with 
her surprised s^rovaL 

"'Amazing man," she remarked "Where did you ob- 
tain such exquiske culinary taste?*' 

'Inherited/' I said, to recall the role whidi each was 
irfaying. 

"Have you heard latdy from Her Grace the Count- 
ess?" by way of conversation. 

"Yes; mother is now at Nice. She left the yadit at 
Gmnes and motored up. Father expects to join her in 
Italy during the holiday recess." 

"Is the House sitting yet?" 

"Yes. The/re having one of their usual nasty 
wrangles with the beastly Commons." 

"I hope theyll abolish that stupid House of Lords." 

"Why?" 

"Because they've outlived their usefulness." 

"What would you substitute— the 400?" 

"WeU, hardly." 

"What then?" 

"Oh! Nothing." 

"They have that already, according to your idea." 

"Honk! Honk!" 

I smiled. 

And so the talk ran on. I commented on At breath- 
less interest with which the American people read the 
accounts of the bathing at Bailey's Beach, and how the 
whole country had been prostrated with grief upon learn- 



:*f*y"*- 






MR. GOGGLES 127 



ing that Mrs. Montmorency-Cavendish-Jones had stepped 
iq>on a pebble and possibly sprained her ankle; 
the pictures of Mrs. Jones on horseback; Mrs. Jones's 
famous villa "Gluepoint;" the pebble on whidi she 
stepped, and <the ankle which it was thought had been 
turned^ together with other pictures of Mr. Jones, the 
Glue King, husband to Mrs. Jones, and the Jones's pet 
Pomeranian spaniel — ^all of which accompanied the article 
conveying the startling intelligence of her mishap. 

There was silence for a few moments, during which 
she apparently tried to see what the back of my head 
looked like, judging from the steady searching gaze she 
bent upon me. 

Her invdisHj^ion was apparently satisfactory, for she 
smiled gei^ai^siltits '^nelj^en. 

''Wherc^did yoii i6aro ;tOT«^ir^^ dress suit?" she finally 
asked. "li ^gjidltifjjj^rited also?'/ 

"No. T^icfci^fl^that up*with*other accomplishments at 
a lumber camp." ^'.'^V 

"What other accomplishments?" 

"Oh! to smoke Bull Durham, Duke's Best, chew Star 
and otherwise contribute to the ooflFers of your worthy 
sire." 

"Quite a liberal education." 

"Yes. But I wish you could have said practical in- 
stead of liberal." 

"He's coming home soon." 

"Who?" 

"Papa." 

"I'm glad, if that means happiness for you." 

"It does. He's the sweetest, dearest daddy that ever 
was. I wish he was here this very minute." And some- 
thiag very like a tear glistened in her eye. 



128 MR. GOGGLES 



''Gtndidly speaking, I can think of no improvement 
in the situation just as it stands." 

"Thank you. But seriously, what of the future? I 
really mean to help you. I don't like the garage idea. 
What about something better — ^business?" 

"In trade? Oh! horrors! None of my people have 
ever been in trade — I meam er — er. I don't know any- 
thing about business. I — I — like motoring best" 

"I have personal reasons for wishing you to drop the 
motor business. I pnnnise that you shall lose nothing 
by it." 

This was said so quietly and so seriously that it took 
me by surprise. 

"I wish nothing but that to whidi I am fairly entitled," 
I said. "I am only too pleased to leave my fate in your 
hands." 

What might have developed at this juncture I do sot 
know. Just then in walked Aunt Fanny, who had ar- 
rived mudi before her expected time. She said "fortu- 
nately." I didn't. 

Much more remains to be written, but not tonight. 

Another of these wretdied "Drysdale Disappearance" 
extras has just been handed me, and I'd better spend the 
Mext few hours in preparing for a better world. 

Unless you should suddenly have a change of heart and 
do the right thing. But you won't. 

Yours, 

Drysdale. 



MR. GOGGLES 129 



[Letter from Van Rensselaer to Drysdale.] 

Chihuahua^ Mexico. 
Dear Drysdale: 

It's taken just about ten days to get your telegram and 
practically the cost of an Indian and a pony. I could 
have hired one for the rest of his natural life, pony in- 
cluded, for what the delivery charges cost me. 

I meant to have answered your last letter, but the 
mails up in this neck of the woods are few and far be- 
tween. I stayed with the Governor at Mexico City till 
the fever broke, and then, when everything seemed se- 
rene, I packed my burro and started for the three weeks' 
trip to the mines. 

I'm doing fairly well at the new work, but I'm not 
letter perfect. Do you remember what Tommy said 
when he was asked how he was getting along at school ? 

"First rate," but "I ain't doing as well as some of the 
others boys, though. I can stand on my head, but I 
have to put my feet against the fence. I want to do it 
without being anywhere near the fence, and I guess I 
can after a while." 

I guess I'm a little like Tommy. The things I've been 
sent here to learn, don't come so natural a» the things I 
shouldn't bother about. 

The himting here, for instance, is great, and down the 
coast a little is some of the finest tuna fishing you ever 
saw. The swimming isn't so good on account of the 
sharks. But even a shark's better than being in love. 

I honestly wish you'd ship that bale of calico which 
seems to have made such an impression upon you, and 
come down here for a while. There was a party of our 
kind passed through the trail yesterday bound further 



I30 MR. GOGGLES 



south. One of the young ladies was rather attractive. 
They stopped here for lundi, and I was rather lonesome 
after she had gone. Her name, I think, is Edith. 

I rather like that name — ^Edith. Don't you think it 
sounds rather pretty? 
Write me soon as you can. 

Yours, 

Van, 
P. S. — ^Edith promised to stop here on her way back. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Magnolia^ Mass. 
Daddy Dear: 

We "did" a lot of little towns "bade country way," 
and it was surprising the ntmiber of things we saw that 
excited both our interest and our risibility. 

Everywhere we stopped I made it a point to get one of 
the local papers. You have always manifested such an in- 
terest in that little sheet that comes from your own old 
home, that I thought you would like to know how some of 
your old time neighbors were getting on. In the midst of 
the exciting scenes of your present Napoleonic career, I 
trust it will, at least, have the effect of keeping a sense 
of your own importance within reasonable bounds. I'll 
admit, dear, that you never have yet shown S3rmptoms 
of cerebral tumefaction, but after hobnobbing with all 
these Dukes and Lords you've been telling about, I feel 
the need of every precautionary measure I can suggest 
And the realization of the present simple life of your 
old-time friends can do you no harm. 

Read, ponder, and inwardly digest! 



MR. GOGGLES 131 



"Mr. G. A. Gazzam forgot to wind his watch night before last 

Pietro Vermicelli has rdinquished his connection with the 
track-repairing gang on the East and West Railroad. 

Colonel Sabertash had his boots half-soled and heeled yester- 
day. The colonel has long been noted for his recherchi foot- 
wear. 

Mrs. Limberchin writes to inform us that her kitchen tea- 
kettle boiled over one day this week, and caused quite a slop 
on the floor. 

We are gratified to hear that Mrs. Blackamoor Pup^ has sent 
her pet dog into the country. The Puggs will remain in town. 

The Homespuns had their Aunt Keziah at supper Wednesday 
evening. The old lady looks much improved in her new cellu- 
loid teeth. 

Mrs. Brown, of Suite No. 12, Hotel Discomfort, has engaged 
a new maid-of-all-work. The young person answers to the name 
of Bridget, and is unusually iSRxxtvX. in cousins. 

Mrs. Captain A. B. Cutter's girl broke another dish yesterday. 
Mrs. Captain Cutter declares it is shameful. All of Mrs. Cap- 
tain Cutter's many friends will sympathize with that estimable 
lady in this the hour of her affliction. 

Among those who missed the 6.25 train to Suburbantown last 
evening were Mrs. Slowbody, Henry and Thomas Smith, Gen- 
eral McGout, the Misses Shopperly and maid, Charles Montgom- 
ery Begg, Terrence McFlaherty, Doctor Longlanc^ Ah Sin Finn, 
Mrs. Mulvey, John Smith and the two DogUngton boys." 

Au revoir, 

Helen. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

Poland Spring House, South Poland, Me. 
Dear Van: 

I am still living in the realms of bliss and enchantment. 
It is a very decided shodc in my present soulful state of 
mind to even remember that such a person as you exists. 

Nothing but the knowledge that you are certain to spoil 



132 MR. GOGGLES 



all my plans if you don't show up soon makes it possible 
to consider you at all. And if that happens, Van 

I never enjoyed Helen's talk more than I did last niglit. 
The old farm seemed very close to her heart all the 
evening, and her father's name was on her lips most of 
the time. I am afraid she was a little bit homesick. I 
think I have heard some interesting stories in my day 
Van, but the story of her father's career is without doubt 
the most remarkable tale I ever heard. It makes the 
"Arabian Nights" seem dull as a market report by 
comparison. 

If Helen could only be induced to put it in book form it 
would make all the present "best sellers" scratch for a 
living. I suppose one would miss the personal touch in 
the book, for Helen showed plainly her intense admiration 
for the chief actors in the drama. 

Another figure besides her father looms large in the 
recital — 2l dear, old, grandad, whom both Helen and her 
father loved with an almost idolatrous affection. 

The first scene is laid in the cabin home of a tobacco 
planter in the Old Dominion. The great Civil War is at 
last ended, and among the beaten and discouraged John- 
nies who made their way back home as best they could 
from Appomattox — was this gfrandad who had been a 
soldier in the Army of Virginia. 

It wasn't much of a home to which he returned. 
Armies had marched and countermarched over the old 
farm, and desolation marked their path. But the Boy 
was there. 

Owing to the almost providential fact that a Northern 
man, in some way or other, had contrived to occupy the 
house during hostilities, a few pounds of tobacco stored 
in the cellar were miraculously preserved. An old mule. 



MR. GOGGLES 133 



considered too worthless for confiscation by the contend- 
ing armies, also proved a valuable asset. 

Thus equipped, the Man and the Boy set out for the 
Norfolk market, where the tobacco was disposed of. The 
proceeds, though small, were promptly invested in hams 
and bacon, which was also disposed of on the return trip. 
The net result of the venture provided means for the 
planting of another crop — ^and the present corporation is 
the subsequent development. 

Of course, Van, yoa'U say that I'm drawing a long 
bow, and that Helen has been using her wonderful pow- 
ers of imagination to amuse herself at my expense. Nev- 
ertheless, every word that Helen tol9 me is true. Down 
on her father's magnificent country estate, near Nor- 
folk, the old original bam in which the two commenced 
the manufacture of tobacco, is now standing. It was 
transplanted bodily, plank by plank. I have seen a photo 
of it myself, and when Helen says it probably cost about 
fifty or sixty dollars, I could see myself that it could be 
duplicated today for about that amount. Helen tells me. 
Van, that her dear old grandad preserved his origfinal 
characteristics to the last. He never grew "stuck up" 
over the family success, or the big noise his boy made in 
the world. 

When he came to town, which he did occasionally, he 
wore the wide brimmed slouch hat of the Southern 
planter, and a black broadcloth suit. The inevitable 
"quid" of tobacco was always present, and seemed to 
afford the old gentleman endless enjoyment. 

These visits were red-letter days to Helen's father. It 
was his special delight to lead the old gentleman into 
some meeting or other, where were gathered all the great 
financiers and famous men of fee country, and say with 



134 MR. GOGGLES 



a ring of pride in his voice, which no one could mistake, 
"Gentlemen — my father." 

There was never any business cm hand quite so im- 
portant as seeing that every kindness and courtesy was 
shown the old gentleman. He might be planning one of 
his biggest coups, Helen tells me, but if the old father 
came to town ever3rthing else was set aside. No hired 
man was delegated to wait upon him. It was the son 
himself who did that job. He, and he alone, was oxn- 
petent to assist the old gentleman up and down the steps 
to the office. And if Rockefeller, or Morgan, or Car- 
negie, or the whole bunch together, wanted to see him 
just then, they had to wait till that particular job was 
finished, no matter what the consequences. 

One night in particular Helen said, there was a great 
gathering up at the house. One of the legal department 
had just been appointed Ambassador to the Court of St. 
James, or a big deal had been successfully engi- 
neered — I forget which. Anyhow, the seats around the 
table were filled with the mighty. 

It got along to coffee and cigars, and personal recollec- 
tions began to circulate. Van, this is certainly a most 
wonderful country. Of all the celebrities present that 
night, Mr. Morgan was the only one who never knew 
poverty. Cam^e, Rodcefeller, Ryan, Hill, Fuller, Qioate, 
and a dozen others were telling incidents of their early 
struggles when they hadn't the price of a postage stamp. 

Suddenly the old gentleman turned to the company 
and said : 'T5id I ever tell you how Bob once helped a 
hen to raise a family of ducks?* 

Instantly all eyes were turned In his direction, and 
quiet reigned in the room. 

''Bob was about ten years old,'* began the old gmtle- 






z*^< 



^»i 



MR. GCX3GLES 135 



man, "when he got an idea there was money in ducks. 
He pestered us all to death with no end of questions about 
the time to hatch, the time to kill, what they were worth, 
how to raise them, etc. In the end he got a setting of 
eggs and put them under an old hen. 

"It seemed as if he simply couldn't wait 'till tiiose eggs 
^latched. He kept tabs on the days, and spent most of 
his time peeking at the eggs under the hen on tfie nest. 
We coulchi't get any work out p{ him, at all. Those ducks 
simply had possession of .him; body and soul. He ate, 
slept, talked and dreamed of nothing but ducks. 

"He G(5ui<$n't even wdt 'till Nature todc its course. 
Within a-da^iir'so of the hat^i^g, he was alongside the 
old hen to see i|ftlfffre was anything doing. He took out 
one tgg and j^J^dpped a little hole in it to see if there was 
anything in^de. 

"To his great delight there was a little duckling, all 
right Replacing the egg he left the nest alone for a 
while. But not for long. He returned soon, as if he had 
another thought, took out the same egg and poked the 
hole a little larger. 

"In the morning he was at the nest by daybreak and 
he pulled out the same old egg. This time he chipped all 
the shell away from the egg and put the live duckling 
under the hen in its place. 

"The next day he approached the nest a little bit fear- 
ful lest the results of his impatience might have proved 
bad for the duck. When he found the little bird very 
much alive, he promptly proceeded to take each egg out 
of the nest, break the shell off, and replace the little dude 
where Ae egg had been !" 

When the shouts of laughter which greeted this tale 
had subsided, the old gentleman was mightily pleased. 



136 MR. GOGGLES 



"That's been him all through life," he concluded. "He's 
willing to assist even Nature if things don't come quick 
enough to suit him." 

Of course, I can't repeat as Helen did, the quaint and 
soft Southern drawl which added so much charm to the 
telling of the old gentleman's story, nor can you see him 
peeking under a napkin as if it were a nest. 

To me. Van, not the least interesting part of it is the 
amazing difference in the place of the story itself, and 
the scene in which it was retold. It is certainly a 
wonderful country where such things happen. 

God, in his infinite mercy, vouchafed the father many 
years in which to enjoy and rejoice in the Napoleonic 
career of the son. And, of all the lavish gifts which for- 
tune showered upon the son, this was esteemed the great- 
est. 

He died only recently, and there is a college endowed 
to his memory somewhere in the Car(Jinas. Numberless 
schools and churches throughout the South have been 
benefited by the family's millions. 

Altogether, Van, I begin to feel as if my patent of 
nobility isn't so much of a thing after all. It actually 
begins to seem quite dusty and moth-eaten when you com- 
pare it with what I know of another kind. 

Well, I hope you will write me soon. I shall look for 
some news tomorrow. Yours, 

Drysdale. 

P. 8. — ^The subject of going into the Company also 
came up incidentally. I again pleaded my ignorance. 
Helen said I ought to try my luck anyhow. 

"You know there's a good deal of luck in business — 
especially the tobacco business," she added. 



MR. GOGGLES 137 



** Take the case of one of our best brands. It's popu- 
larity all arose as a direct result of the war." 

"How^s that?" 

"Please don't interrupt. The tobacco was then being 
manufactured in a small way. When the Boys in Blue 
passed that way they helped themselves to it as they 
foraged around, and the Boys in Gray did the same. It 
was a good tobacco, and after the war was over a good 
many men retained a very vivid recollection of a most 
pleasing smoke they had enjoyed at that particular place. 
So they commenced writing the station agent and the 
postmaster asking them if they could not get some more 
of that smoking tobacco 'with the bull on it' 

" Of course they cotdd. Papa's men never yet knew 
a time when they couldn't supply a demand for their 
goods. And so the trade grew and grew and grew, till 
the 'Buir is now one of the big assets of the com- 
pany and the young man who developed this brand has 
a front seat in the King Row. 

"What's the ' King Row?' " 

"Oh! Nevermind." 

"You ought to be in the advertising business." 

"You ought to be in some business ; even that, if noth- 
ing else." 



[Letter from Helen's Father in London.] 

CLARmcES^ London. 
My Dear Helen: 

You needn't thank me so profusely for my "brilliant 
flashes of silence" during this trip. I'm not much on the 
talk, as you know, but I enjoy — really I do — your letters 
very mudi. 



138 MR. GCXXJLES 



But if you keep up this New England patriotic business 
much longer, I believe I will turn loose some of my 
advertising men down there, as you suggest 

But it won't be to boom their Altars of Liberty, their 
sacred fires, or their Old Homesteads. It will be just to 
remind them that the Old Dominion wasn't so slow in 
the days of '76. 

I honestly believe a good campaign of paint and post- 
ing on that subject would do New England good. I would 
remind them that the Commander-in-chief of all the 
American forces was a Southerner, and that the Declara- 
tion of Independence was written by another Southerner. 

I wouldn't mind also calling their attention to another 
half-forgotten fact. That my own state was the first of 
all the states to adopt and ratify a Declaration of Inde- 
pendence. Have you forgotten all about the MecMen- 
berg Declaration? And that Patridc Henry's great Give- 
me-liberty-or-give-me-death speech was a corker and of 
the utmost value in cementing all the colonies together 
and finally binding them into a Union? 

Yes, I can see great possibilities in a campaign of this 
sort. We could offset Lexington where the first battle 
was fought, witfi Yorktown, the last With Ae first blood 
shed in the North we could point to the death of Qqitain 
Wilmot in the South, as the last. I think we need have 
no fear of the contrast. And I believe I would be justi- 
fied in giving preferred locations to the work of the 
Tarheel boys from North Carolina. If you will tsJce the 
trouble to lode back you will find that after five years of 
constant fighting the American cause was nowhere near 
success and things financially were in desperate straits. 
Everything seemed to have gone to the bad. 

And then you will find that a great victory was gained 



MR. GCX3GLES 139 



in the South — not by the regular army, but by just the 
ordmary country boys of North Carolina, which changed 
the aspect of the whole situation. 

Look it up. It will do you good. They whipped over 
eleven hundred British regulars at Kings Mountain, all 
to pieces. All who weren't killed were captured. 

This made everybody feel so good that a new army was 
raised for the South, which did such splendid work that 
everybody grew enthusiastic again. 

Comwallis became so furious over the repeated suc- 
cesses of Greene, Morgan, Lee and the others, that he 
sent his best battalion under the renowned Tarleton, to 
crush them without further delay. 

Tarleton was simply eaten up at Cowi)ens, and Com- 
wallis took the field himself. He was trapped and beaten 
so many times that he was virtually a defeated man and 
a prisoner in Yorktown when Washington reached the 
scene with his Northern troops. 

So if New England started the war, the South 
brought it to an end. And when you're handing out 
any special remarks on this subject just please don't for- 
get to put my "Tarheel" boys — ^whose brilliant work 
started the beginning of the end — ^at top of column next 
to pure reading. 

There, that's quite a patriotic outburst for me. But I 
mean it, just the same! 

I notice you make quite a good deal of mention of your 
chauflfeur— Goggles, I mean. Judging from what you say, 
I should think possibly we could find a place for lum 
somewhere. I will keep him in mind. And you keep 
yourself in hand. 

Write me as often as you can, honey lamb, for I am 
much cheered by your letters, and grow daily more im- 



I40 MR. GOGGLES 



patient to see you, as the time for my departure grows 
nearer. I shall cable you the moment arrangements to 
this effect are completed. 

With mudi love, believe me, as ever, 

Your affectionate, 

Father. 

P. S.— Almost forgot to mention, that Sir Walter 
Raleigh introduced tobacco into England, brimging it 
from my own state — ought to get out a special poster on 
that. 

Don't you remember that one of his servants, seeing 
him smoke for the first time, thought he was afire and 
threw a pail of water over him? 

We ought to do something for that man's memory. 
Think I'll name a new braad after him or have a statue 
erected in the town of Raleigh. 

The Englishmen built up quite a nice business in this 
line — but it really belonged to a gentleman in North 
Carolina — so I'm brimging it back witJi me. 

You ought to take a run down to Jamestown with 
me. There's a real old settlement for you — ^if that's 
what you're looking for. J. W. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Dear, Dear Dad: 

I have wanted a letter from you. Oh! ever so mudi 
more than usual, this week. You seem so far away at 
present. Not that you haven't been further, for that mat- 
ter, or that your absence hasn't been unduly prolonged 
before. 

But dcMi't you ever have a few minutes, at times, that 



MR. GOGGLES 141 



somehow or other, without knowing why, you would like 
to see me for just a little while? 

Well, that's the mood I've been in. I wish a certain 
mighty personage in the industrial world would find it 
imperative to return at once to New York. 

I think I have mentioned once or twice the name of 
Goggles in these letters, have I not? It isn't a very 
pretty name, is it? But I like it lots better than Clar- 
ence, or Sanford, or Merton — don't you? 

Well, Goggles is getting, I fear, on my — ^nerves. Yes, 
that's it, nerves. I believe I have already imparted the 
momentous information that the aforesaid Goggles is not 
at all an unpleasant person in speech or manner. In fact, 
I might go further and say that he is quite interesting at 
times, or to be more specifically exact — I have foumd him 
so to be. 

Oh, dear! I wish you had stayed on your old farm. 
Why did you make all this money? What good is it? 

I wish you could meet Mr. Goggles. I'll admit that 
he is poor, but that's his only fault. But no amount of 
money could make him more of a gentleman, in the best 
sense of the word. 

You know I've known him for a long, long time — ^al- 
most six months. And of late his professional duties 
have made it so that we are together pretty constaatly. 

And I wish you'd hurry home. I want to snuggle up 
in your lap and feel your big arms around me. 

Steady there; s-t-e-a-d-y! 

We shall do some hunting and fishing up in the 
Rangely region next week. We ought soon to be starting 
home. When will you leave Londoa? 

Well, we took a little rim on the Boston & Maine up 
the North Shore today. Goggles said he had some 



142 MR. GOGGLES 



friends up at Magnolia— just fancy— and asked for a day 
off. Atmty and I went akmg in the same train, and 
would you believe me» Goggles had the impudence to 
walk right up into one of the Embassy houses. I forget 
which — a lot of them summer up here — and unless Fm 
awfully mistaken, the owner himsdf came half running 
down the road to meet him, so glad was he apparently to 
see him. 

At first I thought it was a real social call, but Aunt 
says he was probably trying to sell him a new motor car; 
and these people who want motors make a time over al- 
most anyone whom they think can help them to get one 
quickly. 

I didn't find the day so interesting, yet I don't know 
why; although I was much amused at a story I heard 
about the railroad itself which, by the way, was one of 
the earliest to be built in this country. 

Some years ago, when it was still a novelty, a wagcm 
load of country people came to look at the new 
engine and a train of cars. None of them had ever seen 
such a sight, with the exception of one old and loquacious 
man. He had not only seen an "'injine" before, but had 
"rid behind one." 

He was naturally the great man of the hour, and per- 
haps, was to be pardoned for putting on some rather 
comical airs of self-importance. 

With his friends following dose at his beds, he walked 
all around the engine, enlightenii^ them in regard to its 
workings and the value of steam in general. 

"Now this is the steam diist, and this is the cow- 
kctcher, and these are the drive wheds," he said, touch- 
ing everything he named wkh the end of a queer <Ad 



ptJBLICLlBRARt] 

I ACTOR, t«*'°^„--| 



MR.GOGGL£S 143 



cane of twisted wood, until an old lady, evidently bis 
wife, said: 

"Don't tech things, pa, don't There's no telling what 
harm you might do." 

The old gentleman paid no heed to this admonition, 
but went on touching liie various parts of the engine. 

"This is the driving shaft, and this, of course, is the 
b'Uer, and this '' 

At that moment the engineer, in a spirit of mischief, 
blew the whistle with a loud, unearthly screech, which 
caused the examining" party to fly precipitately, with 
shrieks of affright ;. 

Shaking her finger reprovingly at her husband, the old 
lady said, in a tone of dtSh^: 

"There, now, pa! ^I told you youMMo some mischief 
with that meddlin' cane. I s'spect we'll have it to pay 
for. Somethin's bu'st sure. I ain't goin' nigh the tWng 
again!" 

Well, the old Boston & Maine is now one of the great 
roads of America, and runs all kinds of luxurious trains 
away up north to the Maine woods, to Bar Harbor and 
Canada, almost solely for the benefit of vacation parties. 

It takes in dozens of popular seacoast resorts between 
Boston and Portland, like Kennebunkport, York Beach 
and Old Orchard. It stands at the entrance to the "Play 
Grotmd of America" as it has been aptly called. Which 
is a good name for this altogether charming and roman- 
tic region of Mountain, River, Lake and Shore. 

Do you suppose I could get a position anywhere as a 
writer for guide books? 

Your affectionate daughter, 
Helen. 

p, s. — ^Aunt Fanny was detained by an accident last 



144 MR. GM3GGLES 



night and left me in rather an awkward position. I 
shall tell yovL about it in my next I had to have some 
one dine witfi me; so I commandeered — ^Mr. Goggles ! 



[Letter from Van to Drysdale.] 

Dear Drysdale: 

It's rather funny (?) to read your letters. Two of 
them readied me yesterday. Incidentally^ the mail car- 
riers were ambushed. One man was killed and two hor- 
ribly wounded. But that's r^^r, nowadays. It's 
worth it, to get a letter from you. 

Yes. I do nothing at all except sit on the sunny side 
of a wide veranda listening to &e dulcet strains of the 
mandolin and the liquid tones of the Southern sirens. 
Likewise the castanets and the hammock which play such 
an important part in your vivid imagination. 

Last night we were serenaded. Urgent invitations 
were extended to come out into the moonlight and join 
our ardent admirers. Those who responded were hailed 
with enthusiasm and Mauser bullets. 

When too long denied a sight of their loved ones, the 
fiery Southern heart is apt to become a trifle impetuous, 
and this somewhat exuberant exhibition of feeling on 
their part ought not to be too harshly construed. 

Nevertheless this dolce far niente existence is alto- 
gether too monotonous for me. I long ior the fleshpots 
of Egypt and an aisle seat in the orchestra, somewhere 
along the Great White Way. 

I view with alarm, as the state^nen say, the imminent 
possibility of your ignominous death on the gallows. 
Heaven forbid t Of course, we both know that if you 



MR. GOGGLES 145 



got your just deserts, hanging, in your case, would only 
be a lovely death. But this is a queer world, and the 
race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the 
strong. So you may escape with this light penalty after 
aU. 

And so you chide me, gentle creature, for not coming 
to your rescue? Fain would I fly to thee, dearest, were it 
not for my popularity here. The natives would die rather 
than see me leave. You wouldn't have a lot of poor 
innocent savages bite the dirt, just for the sake of saving 
your worthless neck, would you? 

Send along a gtmboat. Send two. I don't care how 
many. I am resigned to seeing you live, provided I only 
get out of here. 

Cable London. They've got some boats somewhere 
along the coast, and I heard that Atterbury's yacht is 
somewhere on the Gulf looking for rubber. Get in toudi 
with him. 

I've got to get out the back door. The front is hope- 
lessly closed. 

As ever. 

Van. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

Dear Van: 

I slept the sleep of the just last night. Aunt Fanny 
raised her lorgnette at me— only to let it fall with a 
crash when its lenses revealed the fact that the dashing, 
handsome, debonair young man upon whom she gazed 
was none other than Goggles — ^poor plain gasoline 
Goggles. 



146 MR. GOGGLES 



"Good gracious!" she exclaimed. 'Td never have 
known you; why you look like a perfect gentleman." 

''Thanks, awfully/' I drawled. 'It is a bit of a strain 
on me. But if s only for erne night.'' 

"What does this mean, Helen?" rather testily. 

"Nothing, aunty. Rehearsing amateur theatricals, 
that's all. He's Lord Hamilton tonight and I'm the Lady 
G>mstarch. Don't you think he takes the part well 
— almost to the manner bom?" 

"How l(mg have you been rehearsing the part, young 
man?" 

That was a puzzle. I looked at Miss Winthrop but 
there was nothing in her eyes but laughter. 

"Many generations," — bowing gravely to both the 
ladies. 

"Here comes Chubb," broke in Miss Winthrop, 
— ^" permit me to present my friend. Lord Hanulton" — 
and Percy stretched out a great big Westphalian ham 
which did duty with him, for a hand. Then his eyes met 
mine. His hand dropped like stock that has passed a 
dividend. 

"Jove, what a fine butler you'd make I" he remarked. 
Miss Winthrop was plainly annoyed. 

"Yes," I said. "Suppose we try. Have a cigarette, sir ;" 
and I passed him my case. 

He helped himself but lingered over the case itself. 

"You're letter perfect in your role," he finally re- 
marked, "even to the property. This is a solid gold 
chased cigarette case with a real baronet's coat-of-arms in 
the centre." 

"I'd like to make you a bet," he added suddenly. 

"What is it?" I said unthinkingly. 



MR. GOGGLES 147 



'TU bet your watch has the same eagravmg as the 
cigarette case/' 

"Time was made for slaves/' I answ|ered haughtily. 
"A sundial to mark only the shining hours is enough for 
me. I cannot take you up/' 

Whew! But I was frightened. Not only did my 
watch have them on, but my sleeve-links as well ! It was 
a bad fright 

Happily it was soon over. We went to the "hop/' 
they called it. And I danced with Helen! 

Chubb stopped me on my way to my rooms. 

"Have you read tonight's papers?" 

"No/' 

"There's something in it about a missing young Eng- 
lishman belonging to a titled family." 

"Yes?" 

"I thought you might be interested." 

"Why?" 

"Your cigarette case is marked with his initials." 

"So are my sleeve-links/' I replied nonchalantly. "Like 
to see them?" 

"Oh, no. Only I'd get that dress suit outfit back to 
the man from whom you hired them as soon as possible. 
You might have a hard time to explain things if the 
police nabbed you." 

"Thanks. I see the point. Good night." 

"Good night." 

You, my dear friend, care nothing for my predicament. 
Oh ! Why do I waste time on such an utterly base per- 
son as you? 

Yours, 

Drysdale. 



148 MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Knight of the Golden Fleece: 

The "c^ce'' this morning sends me another check 
from which I infer that your conscience is troubling you. 
In this land of steady habits, one of your checks goes a 
long way. What shall I do with the veritable snow 
storm that has descended upon me, in lieu of a few 
scratches from your own dear old pen? 

Shall I paste them cm my hand bag or paper the room 
with them? 

We had rather a good jckt on Goggles this afternoon. 
We lunched at a small inn— 4he Wolfs Tavern, I think 
it was called — ^at Newburyport, and two dd cronies were 
at an adjoining table. They were very intimate friends, 
I judge, for one of them ventured to say to the other: 
'*Why don't you wear a wig?" 

"I'd rather dye," was the answer, and though the 
pun was an old one it happened to be new to Goggles, 
and greatly amused him — ^not so much however, that he 
did not speedily forget the point 

That night, on returning home, he said to Chubb, "I 
heard an awfully good thing this aftemocm. One old 
gentleman asked another why he didn't wear a wig, and 
the other said he'd rather commit suicide than do such a 
thing." 

Mr. Chubb didn't laugh and poor Goggles thinks the 
Americans have only a sense of humor "in spots," as he 
expressed it 

We have met some very nice people on our travels, 
and some of the children are certainly very attractive. 
One dear little three-year-old in particular, whose ac- 
quaintance I have managed to scrape up, confided in me 



MR. GOGGLES 149 



going up stairs tonigbt, that she had been to a party that 
afternoon. "And/' she added, with a trace of indigna- 
tion in her voice (I thought), "at the party a little girl 
fell through a diair to the floor. All the other girls 
laughed, but I didn't." 
"Well," I asked, "why didn't you laugh?" 
" 'Cause I was the one that fell through." 
And so, Popsy, No. 10 is still very much enjoying her- 
self, and not at all hurt by your unspeakable, brutal, 
shameful, horrible silence. 

Helen. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

Dear Van: 

I am simply overwhelmed with joy at the cheering 
news which your letter imparts. In case of emergency, 
a telegfram will reach you in the incredible speed of 
about six weeks if everything goes right and no revolts 
or tribal wars break out in the meantime. In which 
event it is safe to conclude that you could never be 
reached at all — at least in time to do any good. 

How pleasant! 

I tell you. Van, this thing is wearing on me. I have 
kept the car for the most part of the time in the back- 
woods — ^as far from the Daily Orb as possible. But the 
chase is getting hot. Van, and I can't tell you just what 
may happen any minute. 

But, hang it all ! I forget the whole wretched business 
with her. The moment she takes a seat beside me, as 
she frequently does, I do not seem to care what happens. 
Judging from all I hear, you do not hang murderers — 
ugh! — ^in this country with the speed with which they 



X50 MR. GOGGLES 



do in the old, so, perhaps, I am needlessly alarmed. Ifi 
a positively charming thought, however, isn't it? 

Anwhow, if I get out of this scrape alive the future 
has no terrors for me. Miss Winthrop has told me posi- 
tively that if I can get a letter of recommendation from 
my last employer she will see that I am taken care of 
after the season is over. I am to have a place oi some 
sort either in the Tobacco Company or in the private 
garage of the aforesaid company's president. So, every 
prospect pleases. 

I very nearly made a fatal error last might when she 
spoke about references. I almost blurted out your name 
as my last employer. 

"Van Rensselaer, did you say? Did you know him? 
Why, he's the man who's missing. Why— why— why — " 
Mid then she stopped. 

"Pardon me," I said hurriedly, "but you interrupted me. 
I was going to say that a Mr. Van Rensselaer had a 
chauffeur who knew me in England." 

She heaved a sigh of relief, it seemed to me. At any 
rate, her face cleared. "Thaf s a very serious case," she 
added, solemnly. I am beginning to be worried about 
the outcome. 

"By the way," she said just before leaving, "You must 
have worked for a lot of people. Have you ever met 
this other man — ^Drysdale — Lord Dr3rsdale, I believe they 
call him?" 

"Oh, yes," I answered. "I know him." 

"Have you ever worked for him?" 

"Some. Not very much." 

"What sort of a man is he to work for?" 

"Oh, fairish. Plays a good game of golf, shoots well, 
knows his motor from nut tP cyli^4w~— ** 



MR. GOGGLES 151 



'Tm not asking what he can do. I asked what sort 
of a man he is to work for/' 

"B^ pardon, ma'am. I should say he was a goodish 
sort to work for." 

"I'm glad to know thait." 

And then she left. I felt as if I'd like to kiss her 
hand, but I didn't dare. 

But it was just like her. All through this trip it has 
been the same — ^thoughtfulness for everyone — churlish- 
ness for none. I have made no mistake, Van, and if 
nothing untoward happens I think everything will turn 
out well. 

She asked me to take a walk. along the shore yester- 
day afternoon and t did. We talked on many things, 
and in her blunt way ^her.said: "What a pity that you 
are only a chauflFeurJ'' For goodness' sake. Van, get out 
of the woods as soon as you can. 

Yours, 

Drysdale. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Dear Old Daddy: 

There was a horrible caricature of you in last Sun- 
day's papers. It was almost sacreligious to me, but I 
suppose you will only find it a cause for ribald merri- 
ment. 

It was a reproduction from a London weekly of a 
"sketch from life" under the mellowing caption of "The 
Private Life of Great Men— The Head of the Great 
Tobacco Trust Writing a Loving Letter to His Darling 
Daughter in America." 

I could almost hear the scrape of your pen. Daddy, 



152 MR. GOGGLES 



and I iwanted to throw my arms around your neck even 
though the face was the face of another. Why wovlt 
you have a portrait taken ! 

Well, it seemed so good to even have you think enough 
of me to put that title underneath that I forgive you. 
Besides, it was quite clever — for you. 

We have been doing the truly rural up here in Maine, 
and some of the doings of the natives are highly amus- 
ing. You must remember we are Way Down East; 
about where old Jed Prouty lived, I should imagine, and 
where cowhide boots and poke bonnets are de riguer. 
Along the seacoast the fisher folk are also delightfully 
unsophisticated. 

Owing to their lack of dental facilities these folk 
are apt to be negligent in the care of their teeth, and 
the natural result is that they lose them while still young. 
It is said to be one of the recognized preparations for 
marriage in some of the fishing villages for the bride 
elect to be provided with a set of artificial teeth. 

Not only in New England, but in other places as well, 
young people who are contemplating matrimony, do not 
always hasten to inform their parents of their plans. But 
the old folks ever)nvhere learn to "put this and that to- 
gether." 

Not long ago a lady who has a cottage on the Maine 
coast said to a "native" to whom she had given more or 
less employment: 

"When is your son Charles to be married? He has 
been engaged to Jessie for two or three years, hasn't 
he?" 

"Yes," the mother replied, "they've been engaged now 
for goin' on four year; an' I kind o' suspect that there's 
somethin' goin' on. I don't know as they's goin' to b^ 



MR. GOGGLES 153 



married, but Jess's had all her teeth out, so I shouldn't 
wonder a bit if they was." 

It doesn't seem to make much difference in this great 
land of ours ; there is always something of interest wher- 
ever you go. 

But if there was a spot an3rwhere, from Maine to Gtli- 
fomia, where I would be sure of receiving that letter a 
certain great Captain of Industry wrote to his Loving 
Daughter in America, I believe I would start for it this 
minute. I'm really homesick tonight. Goggles has been 
away all day. 

Yours, 

Helen. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Dear Doodles: 

This morning while waiting for the train to connect 
with Poland Springs a rather curious thing happened. 
As it relates to business I know you will be interested. 

Three gentlemen stood chatting together, and one 
chanced to notice two-thirds of a cigarette, one of your 
delectable brands, lying at their feet. 

"Ah," said he, "the lady with whom he had an ap- 
pointment CBme sooner than he expected. He would 
never have lighted it, if he had known." 

(Of course not; who would willingly waste one of 
your Peerless Productions?) 

"No," said the second, "that isn't it. He was only a 
banner, and he couldn't stand any more of it." 

(Envy. Or Base Ingratitude. Or Both.) 

"I think you are both wrong," put in the other. "He 



154 MR. GOGGLES 



dropped it by acddent, and was too proud to pick it 
up. 

Each one of the three was sure that his conjecture was 
correct, and they urged their respective views with some 
heat and animation. At a short distance from tiiem stood 
two boys, one of whom had been intently watching the 
group. 

"Bill/' said he to his friend, ''look at tiiem three gents, 
fightin' over a bit of a cigarette. The big un found it 
fust, but the others were on him afore he could grab if 

Goggles rejoined us today, and it put Kfe in the whole 
party to have him with us once again. Everyone missed 
him sadly during his enforced absence. He brought a 
mysterious looking suit case, and when I laughingly 
chaffed him about needing his full dress when in sudi 
distinguished company, he took it quite seriously and 
apologized for having neglected the precaution before. 

Fanqr a chauffeur in a dress suit! He would lode 
like a dgar store Inc^an in a coat of mail. What would 
he do with his hands? It isn't every (me can wear them 
with any degree of comfort, is it, Popsy? 

I'm half sorry he affected that attire. I'm afraid I've 
made too mudi of him. 

Yet, I don't know. I've never seen a man who seemed 
more naturally built for one. But practice is necessary for 
the proper wearing of it 

I thought, and thought, I might get a letter from you 
here, but of course, I knew better. All our mail was 
ordered to the Poland Spring House some days ago. 

Good night, Popsy, I'm sleepy. 

Yours, 

Helen. 



MR. GOGGLES IS5 



^Letter from Miss Winthrop to her father] 

Portland, Maine^ 
September 4th, 19— 

My Darling Dad : 

I do feel ashamed to think that I haven't sent you 
anything for a week but those souvenir post cards ! You 
said in your last letter that you were longing to see me, 
and that made me homesick. 

Don't I want to see you, you dear old tiling! How 
I wish that I could transport you, from smoky old Lon- 
don to "the Gem of Casco Bay" — ^that, my dear, is 
Portiand. 

I was so glad that we cam^ by boat because the harbor 
is superb. Miss Nickerson called me about four A. M. 
Island after island, sticking their darling heads out of 
the water like fairies! 

I tried to imagine that I was Captain John Smith, the 
first white man or rather woman to see it, but this 
wasn't easy. 

I'm not going to stop to describe the city— I didn't 
care much for the "residential portion," but I do love 
the dear old elms that line the streets. Today I went 
to see the home of your favorite and— I am afraid 
— ^your only poet, Longfellow. It is a shame not to like 
poetry any better than you do ! 

We have so many pictures at home of the house, that 
I won't stop to describe the outside. It is a red brick, 
and three stories high, but the houses on either side are 
so much taller that it reminds one of a poor little maiden- 
lady wedged in a crowd of rough men and peering out 
at one with frightened eyes. 

There wasn't a bit of grass in the front yard, but as 



156 MR. GOGGLES 



soon as we were inside the hall we caugbt a delicious 
glimpse of the lovely dd garden at tiie back — ^tall elms 
and fresh green vines. I could just imagine charming 
Mrs. Longfellow coming in from that garden with 
golden daffies in her hand, and perhaps going upstairs to 
put a few on her husband's desk. Thinking this, made 
me want to run right away to k>ok at tiie desk, and I 
did. . , 

There is a register on the aesk, and a quill (once be- 
longing to the poet's father) for visitors to write their 
names, but somehow I didn't feel like writing mine; I 
just wanted to touch the dull old mahogany with my 
fingers and, like magic, this prosy old world seemed to 
disappear. I could see the poet leaning his elbows on 
the desk, looking out through the rain-splashed windows 
upon the old garden; the desk must have been piled 
with books then, and there were sheets of paper lying 
loosely, and a dear, little blotting pad! My eyes sud- 
denly got quite dim, and I ran downstairs to find the 
others. I found them in the kitchen. The house was 
built in 1785 by General Pdeg Wadsworth, Longfellow's 
grandfather, and the Wadsworth family lived here be- 
fore the Longfellows took possession. 

Think of all the little Wadsworths and Longfellows 
who have romped in this big kitdien; how many little 
people have roasted apples and chestnuts in tiie brick 
fireplace, and watched with awe the preparations for 
Thanksgiving dinner! 

General Wadsworth, grandfatiier of Longfellow, had 
a romantic career. He was one of the first to organize 
a company in the Revolution. He rendered important 
service in Boston at Roxbury and Dorchester Heights. 



MR. GOGGLES 157 



After Washington's departure he became aide-de-camp 
to General Ward. 

While in command of the land forces in Maine he was 
surprised in an old farmhouse at Thomaston, across the 
river from the residence of another noted soldier of the 
Revolution, Gen. Henry Knox. 

After a desperate resistance and being sorely wounded, 
he was carried a captive by the British to Castine, where 
after a series of stirring adventures, he managed to 
escape. 

He came to Portland from Plymouth. It was his 
daughter Zilpah who married Stephen Longfellow, who 
became the mother of the famous poet. 

Of the other children of General Wadsworth, Alexander 
greatly distinguished himself in the Navy during the en- 
gagement between the Constitution and the Guerriire, 
One of the forts in the Portland Harbor (Fort Scammel) 
is named after him. 

Another son, Henry, ithe uncle for whom the poet was 
named, achieved fame in the harbor of Tripoli. He 
voluntarily sacrificed his life in the fireship Intrepid to 
prevent her falling into the hands of the enemy. 

Isn't it strange that so peaceful and so kindly a nature 
as Longfellow undoubtedly had, should have been in- 
herited from sudi a line of fearless warriors? 

The parlor was very grand and stately, but to my 
mind not half as attractive as the family living room. 
The poet's chair still stands by his favorite window, and 
near by is his mother's sewing table and the big table 
where the diildren gathered on winter evenings to study 
their lessons. 

The most interesting room is undoubtedly (the "Den," 
with "The Rainy Day" desk as it is called. Here the 



158 MR. GOGGLES 



poet sat one drizzling afternoon watdiing the rain-dr<^ 
patter on the garden walk beyond the window. And be- 
fore the dose of day he had written that sweetest of all 
his poems b^^inning: 

" Into each life some rain must fall 
Some days must be dark and dreary.'' 

I wish I could go on and describe the other rooms ; the 
guest chamber wifli its tall four-post bedstead, and the 
little room which Stephen Longfellow called his law 
office; but I must wait until I see you. 

The Longfellow house, to my mind, is the most inter- 
esting thing in all Portland. Yet the "Captain's graves," 
as they are called, are equal in some respects. 

No event in history has so much interest for the Port- 
lander as that famous fight between the Enterprise and 
Boxer, in the War of 1812. 

The contest was witnessed by nearly all the inhabitants, 
the scene of the conflict being plainly visible. For awhile, 
nothing definite of the outcome could be made, and the 
anxiety was great, as many of Portland's young men 
were on board the Enterprise. 

In the morning, however, the Enterprise was discerned 
badly battered but crawling slowly into the harbor leading 
her prize. 

The two young Giptains both fell in the fighting. They 
were mere lads, and both are lying side by side in tl^ 
graveyard. For many years the grave of the Captain of 
the Boxer was unmarked. A stranger passing through 
the dty caused a headstone to be erected at his expense 
and a record of the fierce battle engraved upon the stone. 

The old flag of the Enterprise which flew so proudly on 
that day is now among the treasures of the Longfellow 
House. 



MR. GOGGLES I59 



Portland has also one of the most interesting of all the 
Historical Collections in New England, and is well worth 
a visit. The situation of the town is one of extraordinary 
natural beauty, commanding as it does from its eminence, 
such a sweeping view of the harbor and its numerous 
islands. 

The residence of Neal Dow, the great temperance ad- 
vocate, and author of Maine's prohibition law, is one of 
the sights as is also the late home of Ex-Speaker Reed. 

But I must desist. I know you are tired. This is also 
the gateway to the White Mountains, We may run 
up for a day or so and then continue on up the coast. 

Now, my dear, my fondest love to you and all the 
dear ones at home, from your loving daughter, 

Helen. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

York Beach, Maine. 
Dear Van: 

As I left Portland this morning tiie papers were full 
of huge black type, clear across the page, regarding oiu* 
recent mysterious murders. I think it is very bad form 
for you to kill your dearest friend, and my own opinion 
of myself for committing a similar fiendish crime is 
wholly unprintable. I only hope and trust that you will 
soon be apprdiended. Nothing would please me better 
than to see you brought back to New York at once, and, 
I believe, if necessary, I could endure the discomfort of 
having you handcuffed all the way. 

A wretch like you is not entitled to mercy. The more 
I think of your utter heartlessness, the more tempted am 
I to put the authorities on your trail. I quite agree with 



i6o MR. GOGGLES 



the papers in their delicate allusion to you as being not 
a man, but a fiend incarnate. That's just what you are, 
I knew it all the time. And you deserve worse than 
death. I hope they will also print your picture in the Sun- 
day supplement, or do something worse if possible. 

This is one of the most magnificent beaches, I think, 
in the world. It's almost one of the first Colonial settle- 
ments, though I can never understand for the life of me, 
why these Pilgrims insisted on htmting up such tmhos- 
pitable r^ons in which to plant their own vine and 
fig trees. 

(A mere fig^e of speech. Van. Too far north to 
grow an3rthing but rocks and pine trees.) 

Miss Winthrop told me this morning that while my 
observations on the Pilg^rims were somewhat amusing, 
and at times quite novel, she was still of the opinion that 
if I should confine my remarks to gasoline, clutches, run- 
ning gear, etc, etc, though I might not shine as a 
literary person, I would stand a better chance of a good 
job in her father's garage this winter. 

I touched my cap respectfully, and said, "Yes, Miss." 

"Besides," she added, dropping on the instant that 
haughty manner, which she put on and ofiE like an auto- 
mobile coat, and resuming her own irresistible winsome 
way, "This little town contributed quite an important 
institution to those early settlers — 2l grist mill. . The first 
one ever made in America was built in this same litde 
out-of-the-way village of York, Maine." 

"How remarkaWe." 

"Indeed, it was! Naturally," she continued, "it was 
a rather rough affair. A very great, great, great an- 
cestor of mine (where do you suppose she gets all these 
wonderful ancestors. Van?) had some grain ground al 



MR. GOGGLES a6i 



the mill and bis wife tried to sift it. The meal sieve 
proved to be useless and she had to resort to a ladder. 
This worked somewhat better, but even this was con- 
siderably too fine until she took out every other round." 

Everybody laughed, Van, except me. I thought it was 
a shame to impose on her innocence by any such pal- 
pably false story. Fancy ! Sieving grain with a step 
ladder ! 

We are all going bathing on this wonderful beach- - 
that is, all but the chauffeur. He is supposed to look 
after the lunch baskets, shawls, cameras, etc They have 
some excellent hotels here, so I think after putting up 
the brute I will enjoy a real good dinner myself and let 
the others enjoy tiie picnic 

I presume I really make myself amenable in the eyes 
of the law by asking the favor of a few lines in reply. 
Ugh! Who would ever have thought I woidd corre- 
spond with a murderer! Or that I should beseech and 
implore him to answer my letter at once! 

In agony. 

Yours, 

Drysdale. 



[Letter from Van to Drysdale.] 

Dear Drysdale : 

I have just received the cheering news from Camp, 
that a party of Yanquis attacked our carrier about twenty 
miles from here and left the poor fellow for dead. He 
recovered and is now in the hospital. He can give no 
connected account of himself as yet, but from what he 
has be^i able to say, we gather that what money he had 
was stolen and all the letters scattered to the four winds 



i62 MR. GOGGLES 



of Heaven. That means a loss of at least another four 
weeks before you hear from me. 

In the meantime, dear boy, especially while you're 
in New England, call on Mrs. Eddy, Mother of Chris- 
tian 'Science. She lives at G)noord, New Hampshire. 
She will probably convince you that there has been no 
delay on my part, and that you merely think so. And 
will you kindly write me exactly your impressions of 
that interview? I am quite curious to know how you 
receive that precious information. 

The bunch of papers you sent came in yesterday. I 
was so much interested in them as a whole that I 
couldn't read your artide with any degree of personal 
interest I'm so far away from everything, you know, 
that it reads just like any other vulgar crime. Besides, 
what danger is there for me, anyhow? They can't ar- 
rest me without sending a small army of soldiers. I 
can't get away from here, unless some soldiers are 
sent 1 don't care much whether they come to arrest 
me or to set me free — ^which is what it amounts to. 

Of course, my heart bleeds for you, dear, sweet, good, 
old boy. Every moment spent at Miss Winthrop's side 
must seem like a thousand years. What a martyr you 
are! I shall never again read "Baxter's Saints' Rest" 
without thinking how you've left them all at the post 

I think you'd look real cute in short hair and striped 
coat and trousers. I don't know whether they wear 
waistcoats or not, but I do know each man has a lovely 
pewter spoon, all for his very own, and every day they 
meet in the Kindergarten. 

They form in one long line, one hand on tfie shoulder 
in front, the other bearing aloft the aforesaid pewter 
spoon. This is done so that the little dears cannot carry 



MR. GOGGLES (163 



anything else in their hands such as Teddy Bears, lemons, 
knives, dirks or pistols. In that way they march into the 
dearest dining room in the world, luxuriantly furnished 
with handsome white pine tables and plain granite walls 
and floors. In order to shut oflF all contact with the cruel 
and heartless world outside, the windows are very small 
and ornamented with plain and fancy bar-iron g^U work 
— ^mostly plain. 

I wish you would have me arrested. Van. This place 
is getting monotonous. The foreman has just stopped in 
to tell me that a small reconnoitering party we sent out 
last night has been cut to pieces. How careless ! 

Send me some more papers. I am quite interested in 
that story to which you have called my attention. 

Ugh! Think of me — ^a Van Rensselaer — correspond- 
ing with a murderer! 

Your«, 

Van. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Vcm.] 

Dear Van: 

That awful story of my disappearance has been going 
the roimds of the London press for a week. I wired to 
the Waldorf for my mail (your mail) to be forwarded 
here. And a case two feet square filled with letters and 
tel^[rams came in this morning. I've had a lovely day. 

I told Brad to say nothing; that ever3^hing was all 
right; so I gfuess no one is yet on the track of Van 
Rensselaer, the despicable murderer of his dearest friend ! 

How I just love to roll these words over my tongue! 
Miss Winthrop mentioned the case casually this mom- 



i64 MR. GOGGLES 



ing at breakfast. Would you like to know what she 
thmks of you? 

As you are probably comfortably seated in some shady 
hacienda with a clinking glass of Scotch and soda by 
your side — to say nothing of an assortment of simdiy 
and various lovely senoritas, — I think it will do your 
heart good. At all events, it will reduce your bump of 
conceit, which no doubt it sadly needs. I find it hard to 
convey the exact measure of scorn and detestation im- 
plied in her tones. Van, it was something terrible. I 
almost felt like committing suicide for you. I hated my- 
self for ever having known you. 

I had to agree with her. In fact, I admitted that it 
was at least deuced bad form. 

"Bad form," she cried, with a look that froze the 
blood in my heart. "Bad form! It's — Ws — ^it's" — and 
here her horror and indignation proved too much for ut- 
terance. 

Presently she calmed down. "Thank goodness," she 
said, "the British government has taken up the matter. 
He's a peer of the realm, this Drysdde is, and they 
don't propose to be humbugged any longer. I believe 
the case is already in the hands of Scotland Yard." 

Van, you could have knocked me over with a puff. 
Scotland Yard! A Parliamentary inquiry! And you 
off in Sunny Mexico listening to the castanets and man- 
dolin regardless of the awful position in which you have 
placed me ! 

I'll look nice, won't I, discovered as the conductor of 
a party of tourists in far off America! Think of what 
Reynolds will say and the Daily Mail and the Express \ 

And Miss Wintiirop ! 

Van, there's but one thing for you to do. Get a spe- 



MR. GOGGLES 165 



dal train or buy a railroad Or, go to the Coast and get 
a steamer. If I knew just where you were I could easily 
enough get you one of our gunboats — ^the governor 
would fix that — ^and come up here as fast as steam, sails, 
or rail will let you. 

I know the subtle charm that lies 'neath sunny skies, 
but I wouldn't desert a friend for all the semoritas in the 
world. 

I suppose I could end it all by making a clean breast 
of it to Miss Winthrop, but I know you aren't such a 
cad as to even hint at a thing like fhat 

Get the steamer or the train and relieve. 

Your distressed, 

Drysdale. 



From the New York Orb. 
A BOGUS VAN RENSSELAER. 



ENGLISHMAN IS MASQUERADING AS SQON 
OF OLD NEW YORK FAMILY. 



PERSONALLY CONDUCTING TOURISTS. 



For Three Weeks He Has Been Traveling Around New 
England With Party of Sightseers— Refuses to Make 
Statement When Confronted With Facts— His Ob- 
ject for This Disguise Not Apparent. 



Special Dispatch to The Orb. 
Boston. — In connection with the mysterious disap- 
pearance of Schuyler Van Rensselaer from his New 



i66 MR. GOGGLES 



York home and haunts, the appearance in various New 
England towns of a man using the name of Van Rens- 
selaer is interesting. The masquerader is obviously an 
Englishman of good breeding and refinement He speaks 
with an English accent, and bears himself like a gentle- 
man. For three weeks he has been in charge of a "per- 
sonally conducted" party of tourists who have visited 
Plymouth, Lexington, Salem, and various other historical 
towns around New England. 

The Englishman is uncommunicative, and when ques^ 
tioned r^;arding his people, home and antecedents, re-- 
fuses to answer questions, and appears disturbed. He 
says his name is Schuyler Van Rensselaer, that his home 
is in England, that he is trying to earn an honest livii^ 
as a tourist agent, but beyond that will say nothing. 

His name may be Sdiuyler Van Rensselaer^ and it may 
be something else, but it is certain that he is not the 
Schuyler Van Rensselaer who dropped out of sight a 
week or two ago. In fact, it is doubtful if the two Van 
Rensselaers ever heard of each other. 

A correspondent of the Orb has been travcfii^ for 
three days with the "personally conducted" tourists and 
has watdied "Van Rensselaer" closely. He has attended 
strictly to his business, and beyond being particulariy at- 
tentive to a wealthy young woman who is a member of 
his party, there has been little in his conduct to arouse 
comment. He is remarkably well-informed regarding 
Colonial history and he talks about the early days in 
Plymouth, Salem, Boston and Concord with a glibness 
bom of long practice or deep study 

When the fact of the disappearance of Schuyler Van 
Rensselaer was pointed out to him today by the Orb cor- 
respondent he seemed deeply interested. He asked many 



MR. GOGGLES 167 



questions regarding the subject, but when direct questions 
were asked of him he declined to answer, merely sa3rii^: 
"Really, I know nodiing of the maittah, and cahn't say 
anything about it. There may be forty men by my name, 
don't you know, and I cahn't be expected to keep trade 
of them. Perhaps the fellah is oflf on a lark, don't you 
know. Such things have happened befoah, and I am 
suah the young chap will turn up all right" 

But in spite of his apparent nonchalance the young 
man was clearly perturbed, and there are indications that 
he knows much more about the matter than he is willing 
to admit 



[Letter from Van to Drysdale.] 

In Camp, Mexico. 
Dear Drysdale: 

We're really having quite a devil of a time down here. 
I didn't take it very seriously at first, but every once in a 
while it occurs to me that possibly you are getting im- 
patient at my continued silence, although I don't imagine 
it troubles you very much, after all. 

I've really made two good attempts to get a letter 
through, but, as I wrote you last week, neither of them 
succeeded. In fact, the letter in which I wrote you to 
this eflfect, is I fear also lost So it will be some time 
before you know anything at all about the situation down 
here. 

I've had a good laugh at that newspaper story. I can 
imagine how proud you are to see your name in letters a 
foot high in all the papers. Have they got out a poster 
yet announcing the Great Drysdale Mystery, as a double 
page special horror? Is it to be illustrated with those 



i68 MR. GOGGLES 



funny young females with wasp-like waists that Eddy 
always draws? 

When it's aU over I'd like to see Opper get at work 
on it You and I will be Alphonse and Gaston. Maud will 
be coming up behind. When we have said "After you, 
my dear Al|^nse/' half a dozen times, and are bending 
low, Maud will double herself up like a jack knife and 
spring open. You will land in London and I in New 
York. Maud will canter gayly up the field saying "Hee ! 
Haw!" 

The indications at present are that we shall be prac- 
tically helpless for some time. We have sent word fi- 
nally to the garrison for help, and another courier goes 
this afternoon to urge haste. Hence this letter. 

I thought this was a land of shady haciendas, lovely 
senoritas, mandolins, zithers and song. 

Bah! Give me the great White Way every time. 

Yours, 

Van. 

P. S. — ^I shouldn't think it would help you with Miss 
Winthrop to have all this notoriety. I don't believe 
from what you've told me that she'd like tfiat sort of 
tfiing. 



[Letter from the Earl of Drysdale to his brother, 
William Henry Douglas.] 

PoBTLAND, Maine, U. S. A., 

September 2d, 19 

My Dear BiUy : 

I believe I promised you a letter from Q>ncord, but 
I really couldn't manage it. These American tourists 
rush about like madmen, and there is hardly enough 



MR. GOGGLES 169 



time left in the day to get one's meals and a decent 
smoke. 

However, the coimtry is worth it, I will admit. I 
advise you to take a run over here next summer, old 
man, for it would do your literary soul no end of good. 
There is enough material on this shore alone for a dozen 
stories. I am tempted to write up some of these queer 
people myself, though I know as much about writing 
as you do about golf! 

We came by boat from Boston, leaving there last 
evening and arriving very early this morning. 

The captain of the boat amused me no end. He was 
a rum old chap, and a typical Cape Codder — Cape Cod, 
you imderstand, being that part of New England which 
runs out into the Atlantic, like a little dog's tail. He 
stood near me on the deck last evening, and there was 
something about his cheerful, sea-worn appearance that 
invited conversation. "Rather fine weather," said I; 
"No danger of a storm, I suppose?" 

The captain allowed his eye to travel slowly over the 
heavens. 

"I ain't a-sayin' nothin'," he remarked, finally, "that 
she will or that she won't, but I Tvill go so far as to say 
that when you see her lookin' that way, an' the sea as 
smooth's a floor, ye've no cause to think she's goin' to 
cut up any capers." 

He fumbled in his podcet and brought up a large 
square of tobacco and a horn-handled knife and pro- 
ceeded to cut vigorously. 

"By gum I" he exclaimed, "this 'ere tobakker's tough's 
the devil's kite string! I'll bet 't was raised whar thar 
wa'n't no rain. Hack oflF a piece fur yerself," he con- 
tinued graciously, "If ye have the patience." 



I70 MR. GOGGLES 



I declined politely and lighted my pipe. 

"You're a stranger, I sec/' he went on, cordially; "I 
g^ess these 'ere waters's new to yon?" 

I nodded. 

"That's what I says f myself the minute I see ye/' he 
said, serenely. "A Britisher," says I, "An' a single man 't 
that" 

"How did you know all that?" said I, amazed at his 
Sherlock Holmes perspicacity. 

He smiled and winked meaningly. 

"Wal, I watched ye cruisin' 'round/' he said, cheer- 
fully, "An' ye ain't the look o' a married man." 

"What's the loc4c of a married man?" I asked curi- 
ously. 

"Meachin'," said the captain, solonnly, reaching for 
his tobacco; "Meadiin'l I ain't no hater o' the female 
variety — ^had tew on 'em myself — bat when I see a man 
a-stompin' along, kxrfdn' as ef he hadn't a dam thing t* 
bother him, it stands t' reason 't diat thar fellow ain't 
never been spliced." 

The captain signed and fixed his eye on a seagull over 
our heads. 

"Noisy creaturs, ain't they?" he said; "Mind me some- 
thin' o' w<»nen folks — ^forever fussin' 'beout somethin'." 

"Have you always followed the sea?" said I changing 
the subject carefully. 

"Somethin' that way/' he said, winking broadly; 
"Why, man, I was member o' the navy afore I got ter 
yer age, an' master o' a vessel besides, an' in them days 
thar wa'n't no 'tamal book foolishness ter dog a man's 
brains. The question was allers, *Can ye sail a boat, or 
can't ye?' an' then a word or tew t' see ef ye was up an' 
dressed. I ain't forgot," pursued the captain, with a 



MR. GOGGLES .171 



hoarse chuckle at the recollection, "Groin' with a mate 
o' mine, a midshipman, f the commodore what was ter 
put him through his paces. 'Perkins,' says the commo- 
dore, lookin' 't him fiercelike through his glasses, 'What'd 
be yer course, supposin' 's ye was oft 2l lee shore, scud- 
din' afore a squall, both anchors an' yer rudder gone, yer 
sail kerried away an' yer boat scuddin' rapid through 
the breakers ?' 'Fur's I can see, sir,' says Perkins, dazed 
like, 'AH them things couldn't rightly happen ter one 
vessel 'n one voyage, sir.' 

" 'Tut, tut, young gentlemaa,' says the commodore, 
gittin' 's red 's a fightin' cock, 'We must have yer opinion, 
supposin' 's it 'd actually happened.' 

" 'Well, sir,' says Perkins, 'Sails all kerried away, do 
ye say, sir?' 
" 'Aye, all — every rag,' says the commodore. 
'"Anchor gone, too, sir?' says Perkins, scratdiin' his 
head. 
" 'Aye,' says the commodore ; 'Not 'n oncommon case/ 
" 'No rudder, either?' says Perkins, givin' me an ager- 
nizin' look. 

"'Aye,' says the commodore; 'Rudder unshipped. 
Come sir, come, bear a hand abeout 't. What would ye 
do?' 

" *Wal, sir,' says Perkins, at las', white an' desp'rit, 
'Wal, I'd let the infernal tub go t' the devil, whar she'd 
orter go !' 

" 'Right, sir !' says the commodore, beamin' like a full 
moon; 'Perfectly right! That will do, sir. The derk 
will note 't Mr. Perkins 's parssed.' " 

The captain paused to light his pipe. "Them new- 
fangled middies 's mighty picturusque," he observed, be- 
nignantly, "But I've noticed pretty darned well 't when it 



172 MR. GOGGLES 



comes 't sailin' a boat they stan' jest's much diarace o' 
shovin' *er on the breakers 's one o' us old salts, an* a 
leetle mite more, by gum!" 

He gave me a sprightly wink, and strolled leisurely 
down the deck, leaving me absorbed in wonder and ad- 
miration. We left the boat so hurriedly this morning 
that I had time only for a farewell hand-shake. 

He would make a capital character for one of your 
tales, only you had better come over here and give it 
the proper New England setting. 

Be sure to do it next season. 

Now, old chap, I really must bring this to a dose, and 
tell you about Portland some other time. 

Love to the Governor and the rest. 

Your affectionate brother. 

Jack. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Poland Spring House, 
South Poland^ Mains. 
Dear old Daddy: 

After many devious wanderings we have finally arrived 
at this Mecca of the modem seeker after health and 
recreation, as the guide book says. Thanks for many, 
many letters which overtook us here. To thousands of 
persons throughout the country the name of this old 
caravansary is associated with such pleasant memories 
that I do not blame them for loving the old place. 

It is quite a ways back from the railroad, but the drive 
up is delightful. It is magnificently situated when you 
get here. 

The Ridcer family, owners of the Poland, are as 



MR. GOGGLES 173 



much of an institution as the hotel itself. For over a 
hundred years the Rickers have kept a hotel here. The 
Mansion House is merely the old Wentworth Ricker Inn 
of 1795, enlarged from year to year, and modernized to 
meet the changed conditions. The original old inn now 
forms but a small portion of the present imposing struc- 
ture. 

Old Jabez Ricker was the founder, so runs the legend, 
settling on the farm in 1793. But Hiram Ricker, grand- 
son of Jabez, is the one who brought the family into 
prominence, and thereby hangs a tale. 

Hiram, it seems, had more than the usual measure of 
the inquisitiveness ascribed to the Down East Yankee. 
Among other folk-lore of the neighborhood was an In- 
dian legend pertaining to a Spring with wonderful heal- 
ing waters. This story was constantly recurring to his 
mind, and this far-famed medicine Spring of the Indians 
occupied a good deal of his thoughts. That this Spring 
and the one on his father's farm were one and the same 
never occurred to him until in the natural course of 
events the necessary evidence came to light 

The Spring was located in the woods just on the out- 
skirts of the farm, and naturally was somewhat removed 
from the scene of active work. Still, from time to time, 
the plow would unearth curious Indian relics of one sort 
and another in the vicinity of the Spring. Strange to 
relate, these relics were not sudi as were made or used 
by the Sagadahocks or other tribes living in Maine, but 
were the handiwork of the Iroquois, Narragansetts, Mo- 
hawks, and other red men of far away provinces. 

To Hiram Ricker these discoveries meant more than 
the mere finding of aboriginal curiosities. Coupled with 



174 MR. GOGGLES 



the traditions wbich he had heard as a boy, he rightly 
concluded that there must be something in the legend. 

He finally tested the truth of these stories by curing 
himself, with nothing but the water of this spring, of a 
stubborn trouble that refused to 3rield to any other agent. 

Now, I don't want to turn this letter into an adver- 
tisement of Poland water, but the next time you are botii- 
ered with that old trouble of yours I am going to pre- 
scribe Poland. 

Hiram Ricker was a unique diaracter in his day. Books 
were rather scarce, and his chief literary pursuit consisted 
of a close study of the Bible. Like Frarik T. Bullen, whose 
marvelous tales of seafaring life have delighted multi- 
tudes of readers and whose knowledge of literature was 
confined solely to the Bible, Hiram Ricker knew noth- 
ing of literature beyond the Bible. 

The descendants of Hiram Ricker — ^Edward P., Alvan 
B. and Hiram W. Ricker, preserve the ancestral char- 
acteristics. Edward P. Ricker, the present head of the 
family — the man with whom the public come in contact — 
resembles in many respects his noted father. Hi)rsically 
he is a large man with the commanding air of one to 
whom large interests are confided. 

As a memorial to his ancestors, this Ricker brought 
from the Chicago World's Fair, the building which had 
been erected on that occasion by the State of Maine. 
A granite memorial tablet records the fact that the pres- 
ent generation of Rickers transported this building, stone 
by stone, from Chicago to their grounds in Poland, in 
honor of the hundredth anniversary of the founding of 
their family. 

In Maine, Edward Ricker is the friend of ever3rone. 
He was much esteemed by the late Jas. G. Blaine, and has 




Old Man of the Mountains, Franconia, N. H. 



MR. GOGGLES *75 



a copy of a Revolutionary commission issued to a great- 
grandfather of Senator Wm. P. Frye, of Maine, pre- 
sented to him by the latter. 

There is probably no man of prominence anywhere in 
the Unicm who has not at some time or other been a 
guest at Poland and met this celebrated boniface. The 
hotel business is a peculiar one, and in some respects Ed- 
ward P. Ricker maintains ito the Poland what the late 
P. T. Bamum did to »thiL greatest circus on earth. He 
was part of the show/and')|^lii^.0!^.of the most in- 
teresting exhibits an4ng^5^>;' \-^'i 

As a resort which tias perh^s a more Widely scattered 
clientfele than almos^J^lftdry^oiSer 1 evar heird of Poland 
Springs is unique. An^'td be in J^aShe aiid not talk of 
it would be ridiculous. 

A remnant of the old "Shaker" community is found 
not far from here. They are a curious people, fast 
dwindling away. There seems to be no end of fads and 
fancies in religion in theological New England. But 
Christian Science has them all beaten to a standstill. 

We shall run up further north from here. And then 
home again. 

The golfing, boating, fishing on the lakes, riding, etc., 
is all that could be desired. 

With lots of love. 

Your loving, Helen.. . 



[Letter from Miss Wif^throp to her Father.] 

Dear Daddy: 

That picture of you on the old farm has been with me 
a good deal lately. I don't seem able to get it out of my 
head. 



i;6 MR. GOGGLES 



For one thing, you wouldn't be away from me so much 
if we lived on a farm, would you, Daddy dear? And I 
wouldn't have to care whether the man I married was 
rich or poor, would I, just so l<Mig as I loved him? 

This having so mudi mcmey isn't what it's thought to 
be, is it? I know a young man already whom I believe 
I could love very dearly if I didn't have money. Why is 
it that all the ridi young men are so insufferably dull and 
the poor ones — cote at least — so extraordinarily interest- 
ing? Is money such a wonderful possession, after all? 

I saw by the cables this morning that you will sail 
on the Kaiser WUhelm iot New York this week. Well, 
you can't come any too soon to suit me. 

I am afraid your daughter is acquiring unhappiness. 

Affectionately, 

Helen. 

P. S. — On the way over think up some plan to start a 
young man in business who deserves every possible 
chance. I had a most diarming dinner with Mr. Goggles 
last nig^t 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Dear Daddy: 

We left our motor car to take a run up by rail to 
that sportsman's paradise, the North Woods of Maine. 

A very funny thing happened on the train. We were 
riding on the Maine Central Road, and an old lady 
boarded the cars at Aroostook very much incensed over 
something and gfreatly excited. "He's a horrid wretch 
and I won't do no such thing," she exclaimed indig- 
nantly, as she dropped into the seat next to our chauf- 
feur. 



MR. GOGGLES m 



Of course he was all attention at once, and sought to 
soothe her agitation. I don't know whether he is nicer 
to old ladies than to young — ^looks as if it didn't matter 
which. 

In a moment she was pouring out her troubles to him ; 
she declared she ''never did see sech a sassy feller as the 
brakeman," who had opened the door and cried out, 
"Bumham, Bumham, change for Unity, Thomdike, 
Knox, Brooks and Belfast! Do not leave your packages 
nor umbrellas m the car — Burn-um! Bum-um!" 

She said she had "'some twisted doughnuts, a home- 
made cheese, some home-made socks and a patchwork 
quilt which she was bringing down to hdr daughter 
Nancy, and she shouldn't bum um for nobody nor 
nothin'r 

I was ready to shriek with laughter, but checked my- 
self as I saw him gently explain to her the real situation, 
and in such a manner as to ward off any suspicion that 
the old lady's misunderstanding was anything laughable. 
But the dear old lady was brighter than she looked. A 
twinkle shone in her faded blue eye, and she said: "I 
reckon you must hev a right good mother, young man. 
Here I've gone and made myself a laughing-stock tew 
the hull car, an' yet you make it so's if 'twas all right." 

But diat's always him — I don't believe he could play 
the cad if he tried. 

Pop, if you don't find him a situation in the Company 
I'll buy a car and keep him for myself. 

Now, we're going after some deer, and some pickerel, 
and some salmon, and a great big cargo of health and 
happiness. 

My! But don't I wish you were here! 

In haste, Helen. 



1/8 MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

Dear Van: 

A rather vulgar person called oa me this morning. It 
seems he saw me receive that express package yesterday 
containing my mail, etc. 

He said he had come all the way from New York be- 
cause the hotel people thought that among them were 
some letters addressed to Arthur Drysdale which the 
clerk had included by mistake. If I would kindly return 
them to him, he would be much obliged and so would Mr. 
Biad. 

Thunder! What could I do? Of course, there were 
some letters for Drysdale. The hotel people knew that. 
But I had opened every one. But for that I would have 
handed them back gladly rather than run the risk of ex- 
posure. But what was I to do? 

In my dilemma I turned instinctively to Miss Win- 
throp. Ah! Van, there's a woman with brains if ever 
I saw one. Asking the fellow to wait a moment I 
sought her out Touching my cap respectfully, I said: 
"B^ pardon. Miss, but I'm in a bit of trouble." 

"What is it, G<^;gles?" she answered, with that old- 
time friendly look in her eyes. "Can I help you?'* 

"I think you can. Miss.'' So I explained how some 
letters had apparently come to me which the hotel people 
thought belonged to someone else. 

Wasn't that a clever way of putting it. Van? 

"And a messenger has come all the way from New 
York for them?" 

"Yes, Miss." 

"Ask him to see me." 

So Mr. Messenger was summoned 



MR. GOGGLES 179 

"Have you a written order for those letters ?** 

''No, ma'am/' said the stranger, who loolttd consider- 
ably taken back. 

"Well, we couldn't thittk of giving them to you," she 
answered, very decidedly. 

"But I really must have them," he answered, some^ 
what defiantly, making a move as if to unfold the hpd 
of his coat. 

"You mean," she answered sweetly, "the hotel must 
have them." 

"Same thmg." 

"Not at all. Goggles, make a package of the letters, 
address them to the hotel, deliver them to the express 
company, and take a receipt for them. That will be all," 
she added, bowing to both of us. 

I didn't even have to show the letters to anyone. I 
thought it was the cleverest move I could imagine. The 
messenger was crest&llen. 

"There's some phoney work going on somewhere, all 
right. But that young Miss has csdled the turn on me. 
See you later," he added, I thought rather significantly, 
—"Good day." 

"Good-bye," I said, immensely relieved. These situa- 
tions are coming up constantly. Van, and are bq;inning 
to get on my nerves. 

I am looking for just one letter now. And ifiat is 
from you sa3ang you have arrived in New York. 

When shall I ever receive it? This suspense is some^ 
thing awful. Van. 

Yours, 

Dktsdalb. 
P. S.— Isn't Miss Winthrop a firick? 



i8o MR. GOGGLES 



Chapter IV 

[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Portland^ Mainb. 
Dear Popsy: 

Nothing has overtaken me yet in the line of a letter 
from you but I will be charitable enough to suppose that 
somewhere between here and London is an epistle look- 
ing for an owner. I really think it will have quite a 
little journey ere it overtakes me at the present rate. 

We thought we'd take just a little day or two extra 
to see some of the other far-famed wonders of this mar- 
velous region. The Boston & Maine connects here with 
trains for the White Mountains, Quebec, Montreal and 
the Adirondacks on the west. The Maine Central be- 
gins here and takes you by one route up to the Rangely 
Lake district and on another branch to Farmington, 
Phillips or the Dead River region. 

Motor cars have penetrated the fastnesses of the pri- 
meval forests of the great North Woods — to the marvel of 
the natives who know of them ,only through the illus- 
trated papers. But not wishing to be out of the reach 
of civilization in case you should cable me that you had 
started, I confined this "side-stepping," as you would 
call it, to the more reliable and luxurious mode of travel 
provided by the railroad lines aforementioned. 

As it was late when .wc 5torte4 for th^ WWte Moun- 



MR. GOGGLES i8i 



tains we concluded to stop off at some small station just 
before we entered the portals of this impressive region — 
and stopped for the night at Intervale. 

Darkness had already fallen so we saw but little of 
the beauties with which we were unconsciously sur- 
rounded. In the morning what a glorious surprise! 
There was the Presidentisd Range silent, majestic, awe- 
inspiring. In the distance could be seen old White Face 
and the dull brown top of Mount Washingtcm. 

From the valley in which we had so fortunately lo- 
cated, the scene was one of impressive grandeur. I could 
not but thank Goggles upon whose suggestion the selec- 
tion was made. He, it seems, has traveled extensively in 
mountainous countries and seems to be willing to go to 
no end of trouble when his party is appreciative. After 
breakfast we drove to some of the picturesque places in 
the village, of which there ate many— the Artists Falls 
for example. We left the little caravansary that had 
sheltered us for the night with a feeling that at last we 
had found an inn with a proprietor who had a heart 
The charges were very reasonable and the service be- 
yond criticism. 

Resuming our journey we were soon approaching the 
Eastern gateway of the White Mountains, Crawford 
Notch. 

The feeling, as one enters this enchanted region, is one 
hard to describe. On all sides tower gigantic heights and 
each turn of the road reveals unexpected vistas of moun- 
tain, valley and stream. The chug-chug of the double 
engines as they strain and pull up the steep grade, alone 
breaks the stillness of these everlasting hills. 

By and by we are in the midst of the storied beauty of 
this famous region. On all sides, rear the peaks of gi" 



iSa MR. GOGGLES 



gantic mountains, clad in their robes of scMnbre daric 
green. We leave the train at the Fabyan House. Any 
of a dozen others would have done just as well but we 
chose the one nearest Mount Washington, which we had 
already concluded to ascend. 

A well-built, inclined railway of modem omstnicticm 
makes the journey to the summit a matter of no fatigue 
whatever. You enter the open car very much as if you 
were going to shoot the chutes or any other of these 
awful things they do at Coney Island. Only here every- 
thing seems so different 

You are going on quite a little journey and every foot 
of ascent brings you fresh visions of entrancing beauty. 

We concluded to spend the evening at the summit. 
One of the inducements offered was the opportunity of 
seeing the sunrise in the morning. I am ashamed dear 
Popsy to say how utterly unable I am to describe this 
most magnificent scene. You know that sometimes I feel 
I am an agnostic and a free thinker. Well, of course, 
I'm not, but at times I am ccmstrained to sort of break 
the bounds, don't you know. 

Well, one view of a sunrise at Mount Washington will 
dissipate all such egotistic — thaf s the right word, Popsy — 
egotistic notions. You will feel as you never fdt before, 
that you are but an insignificant atom in the great Crea- 
tor's plans, and that there is after all a power, greater 
than human, which plans and arranges this universe. 

I hope you won't laugh at this. I intend to have yoq 
— ^you, "one of the mighty forces in our modem civiliza- 
tion," as the papers say — ^witness this sublime spectacle. 
I know that you will clasp my hand just a little closer 
and will say nothing. Perhaps you will feel that "$50 
and a mule" are really greater than all the hundreds of 




New Profile House, Franconia, N. H. 




Entrance to Crawford Notch, Franconia, N. H. 



TRE !fEW TORK 

P'in:,:, LIBRARY I 



.•' LENOX 

-ojndatiohbI 



MR. GOGGLES [183 



millions that you now command. A sunrise in the White 
Mountains is a liberal education. 

Neither the Summit House or the Fabyan represent all 
that is delightful in a hostelry sense in the White Moun- 
tains. There are dozens of others, the Mount Wash- 
ington House, for instance, the Profile House and others 
"too numerous to mention,'' as the guide-books say. 

Each has its own coterie of admirers. They adl have 
every modem convenience. Each is so situated that some 
special view of the mountains is specially attractive. And 
the drives in their vicinity all have a charm of their own. 

The dry, bracimg atmosph^^ of this mountainous re- 
gion is, of course, one;of its^i)rind^al assets. When you 
add to that all the attraiMtons that tend to add zest to 
outdoor life you hav^ reach^. the acme of western en- 
joyment. All the popu]^; sports are here enjoyed to per- 
fection — riding, driving, golf, tennis, etc., etc. In short, 
a sojourn in this remarkable region is at once a revela- 
tion and a consummation of the things devoutly to be 
wished for. 

After we had surfeited ourselves with the various 
charms of this vicinity we concluded to forsake the ac- 
complishments of civilization for a brief term in the wil- 
derness. And so we hied ourselves for a brief sojourn 
in the North Woods, which to the uninitiated means the 
uttermost wilds of Maine. Helen. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.'] 

The Samoset, Rockland, Me. 
Dear Daddy: 

I was not only delighted, but simply overwhelmed to 
get even that short note from you here. I lode forward 



i84 MR. GOGGLES 



with impatience to the '1>atch'' of letters which yoa say 
will reach me at Lenox. 

We lingered a day extra here because the bay of old 
Penobscot, spread out before us, is dotted with tiie ships 
of the North Atlantic Squadron going through their an- 
nual summer drill. Isn't it strange that all these maneu- 
vers always occur at some such perfectly delightful town 
as this or Bar Harbor? 

Goggles doesn't seem to care much for the navy. I 
danced with a number of the officers last night, and a 
young lieutenant from the flagship seemed very anxious 
to. see that we all enjoyed ourselves. He looked very 
well in his natty uniform, and was what you call rather 
well built But he simply couldn't talk. He thought 
the Bay of Penobscot reminded him of the Bay of 
Naples. He also admired the huge government break- 
water which juts out right from the hotel g^unds. At 
that point his vocabulary was exhausted. He lacked 
what I call the divine quality of being interesting. 

Now, if that had been Goggles instead, he would have 
had no end of delightful stories of the trip just finished, 
the peoples he saw, and the countries visited. I saw him 
sitting all alone on a rock by the seashore and was al- 
most tempted to send for him he looked so forlorn. 

The town behind us is quite famous in its way for its 
huge deposits of limestone of a wonderfully superior 
quality. Cement is made from this rock, and is, I be- 
lieve the standard of the world — at least so their adver- 
tisements state. 

Isn't it astonishing how many things are the ''Standard 
of the World," especially when they happen to be branded 
after the name of the proprietor? 

This is no reflection upon the admitted superlative ex- 



MR. GOGGLES 185 



cellence of the brand of smoking tobacco which bears 
your honored name. 

In the morning we drove over to Camden and in the 
afternoon to Thomaston. 

At one time Thomaston was the county seat of no less 
a personage than General Henry Knox, one of the best 
beloved and most trusted officers on the staflf of Wash- 
ington, and the first Secretary of War in the first Cabi- 
net. 

The wife of General Knox was a brilliant woman in 
society, much admired and deferred to by General and 
Mrs. Washington, but a person of a very haughty and 
worldly temper. When her husband finally resigned his 
office as Secretary of War under Washington and re- 
moved to Thomaston, where he had acquired an exten- 
sive property, he proceeded to build a mansion at a cost 
of fifty thousand dollars, somewhat after the fashion of 
Washington at Mount Vernon and Jefferson at Monti- 
cello. 

The general himself was of a social disposition, and 
not above mingling with the poorest of his worthy neigh- . 
bors; but his wife made no visits, and exchanged no 
civilities. As the historian says, she used to ride out 
in her coach, the only one in the neighborhood, but al- 
ways returned home without alighting, "like Noah's 
dove.*' 

General Knox habitually went to church, and one day 
invited the preacher — ^an "exchange" — ^home to dine with 
him. As they entered the dining room they found Mrs. 
Knox seated at the table. 

"Rise, my dear," said General Knox, "and the parson 
will ask a blessing." 

She took no notice, but remained seated. 



i86 MR. GOGGLES 



He rq>eated his request in a mort emphatic manner. 
Still she did not move. Then, with something of that 
stentorian voice which at the battle of Trenton had risen 
above the tempest, he said once more: 

'Hise, my dear! the parson is going to ask a UessingT 

But this time, too, the lady sat unmoved in all her 
stateliness, and the blessing was asked and dinner pro- 
ceeded with, as if nothing had happened. 

The ill-assorted couple had one son, whom the mother 
petted and spoiled. At one time she was visiting at a 
house in Massachusetts, and the little boy amused him- 
self by disarranging everything in the room, especially 
the books. His mother, in answer to a lode of remon- 
strance from the mistress of the house, simply re- 
marked: 

"Oh, Henry mustn't be restrained; we never think of 
crossing him in anjrthing.'' 

"But I cannot have my books spoiled,*' said the lady, 
"as my husband is not a bookbinder/' 

This reference to the early occupation of General Knox 
was so distasteful to Mrs. Knox that she todc an imme- 
diate and unceremonious leave. 

It is little to be wondered at that this boy became a 
worthless character, a grief and disgrace to his parents. 
Shortly before he died he came under the influence of 
religion, and was so ashamed of his misdeeds that he 
b^ged not to be buried in the family enclosure, among 
those whom he had disgraced, but in some out-of-the-way 
comer, with no stone to mark the spot 

General Knox entertained Lafayette and Washingtcm 
in his home in Tbomaston. He engaged in so many gi- 
gantic and profitless undertakings in connection with his 



MR. GOGGLES 1187 



vast estate that he became hopelessly engaged in financial 
difficulties. 

The outbuildings of the general's home are now used 
as a freight house for the railroad. The fate of the man- 
sion itself is pitiful in the extreme, it having descended 
to a negro tenement. 

The old four-posted bed used by Lafayette, and much 
of tfie general's personal furniture has been acquired by 
patriotic persons in the neighborhood, who have also 
erected a stone at the depot marking the general's home. 

Occasionally those relics are brought together at a 
local historical exhibition, and it is to be hoped that in 
time they may be acquired by the local chapter of the 
D. A. R. in the interests of the general public. 

That is the least that can be done for the old soldier 
over whom Washington wept as he clasped his hand at 
that farewell meeting in Fraunce's Tavern. 

Almost within sight of Knox's home but on the (^ 
posite side of the river can be seen the Wadsworth house 
— ^in which General Wadsworth was captured and to 
which I have already referred. 

I am constantly astonished at the many interesting 
things that happened in such out of the way places. 

Tomorrow I think we go to Poland. 

With love, 

Helen. 

P. S. — General Knox's grave could be better cared for, 
I think. 



i88 MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Bar Harbor^ Maine. 
Honored Sire: 

A cable is better than nothing. It does not, however, 
partake of your own dear personality, which is what I 
most appreciate in a letter. You don't know what that 
means, dp you? Of course you don't. And I won't tell 
you. 

Still, it shows signs of progress. It is miles and miles 
ahead of a typewritten, rubber stamp affair — and for this 
much, receive, I pray you, my most abject salutations. 

I knew you'd miss your steamer. Well, never mind. 
I can extend the trip a week or so longer, without any 
trouble whatever — as you have no doubt already realized 
by the date line of this letter. 

There's quite a number of your sort here— captains of 
industry galore ; money in reams, barrels and h(^heads. 
Yet withal, a most charming and cultivated air ,pervades 
the entire place. That is not, however, just how I 
meant to express myself. Money need not necessarily be 
''tabooed," as Mr. Goggles says, but its possession need 
not be hailed from the housetops. And that's what I 
like about Bar Harbor. There is an abundance of 
wealth here to be sure, but nobody is disagreeably im- 
pressed by its ostentatious display. Everybody here is 
not rich. There is a vast number of visitors who fol- 
low intellectual pursuits, and everybody knows that they 
can't by any possibility make money in that line. Yet 
the two classes are perfectly comfortable. The one set 
come because nothing finer can be had at any price and 
the other because the same thing is available to them 
also at any price. 



MR. GOGGLES ^189 



The scene at the dock, papa, as the steamer lands is 
animated in the extreme. The irrepressible * * backboard* * 
— 3. peculiarly local production — is everywhere in evi- 
dence. This vehicle may contain from six to a dozen 
seats, each seat holding two; the w*hole swinging, only 
a long board resting apparently on the front and rear 
axles. The costly equipages of the opulent cottagers add 
a note of stateliness to the pageant as it winds up the 
hill. The gay summer costumes, the bright hued hats, 
parasols, and other feminine accoutrements contribute a 
needed dash of color, to what is unquestionably one of 
the most eflfective "moving pictures" ever produced. 

It's not so many years ago since Bar Harbor was 
known only to artists. Had they been content to keep 
their knowledge to themselves, perhaps they would yet 
be in undisputed possession of its treasures. But their 
pictures told the story to the outside world, and slowly 
but surely the fame of Bar Harbor was in the ascendant. 
With the advent of the summer colony, this charming 
resort was at last on the road to that royal destiny which 
the advertisements modestly announce as her rightful 
heritage, "The Queen of American Resorts." 

The French and Indian antecedents of Bar Harbor are 
certainly entitled to some consideration at the hands 
of the local nomenclaturist. But no. That splendid 
genius who has given us such spirited exhibitions of his 
talents in Horse's Head, Painted Post, Four Comers, 
Kalamazoo, Devil's Den, etc., etc., early seized upon 
Bar Harbor. As a result we have Eden as the name of 
Duck Islands, Great Head, Hole-in-the-Wall, Spouting 
Horn, Thunder Cave, Schooner Head, Frenchman's Bay, 
Green Mountain, Brown Mountain, Robinson Mountain, 



190 MR. GOGGLES 



Saiigeiit Mountain, Long Cove, Bass Cove, Sullivan, 
Grindstone and Mosquito HartxM^ 

I think you'd better take a few moments, Popsy, to di- 
gest this long list of atrocities. Bar Harbor escaped be- 
ing called Poverty Flats or some other such delightful 
misnomer sinq>ly from the fact that at low tide a bar is 
exposed, connecting the town with one of the adjoining 
smaller islands. This, forming a natural harbor, and 
tliere being no Mikes or Pats or Biddies around at the 
time, the name was a natural growth. And it is the 
most delightful cm the whole island! 

The guide-hoc^ and railroad folders have quite a 
time describing the many beauties of this favored region. 
And no wonder. I am free to confess that there is a limit 
to the supply of adjectives and the enthusiastic writer is 
soon "out of stock,'' as the stores say. Personally I think 
it is oae of those places which cannot be described. 
"Every prospect pleases and only man is vile." 

In tiie old French and Indian days, this island figured 
quite prominently in the making of history. It harbored 
the flotillas of the romantic Jacques Cartier, the renowned 
Champlain, La Saussaye, Du Mont and others. Some 
attempt at colonization was made by France but it all 
came to an inglorious end when an English fleet under 
Argall attadced the settlement. In true buccaneer style 
the French were made to walk the plank and others 
taken prisoners. In the playful spirit of the time, a 
boat-load was cast adrift in the Atlantic, to meet what- 
ever fate the fortunes of war dealt them. 

The celebrated Captain Kidd is also credited with hav- 
ing honored these shores with frequent visits. Naturally 
he buried treasure here also. 

This gentleman was evidently a non-union man and 



tOR*. 



ittt»^ 






MR. GOGGLES 191 



Mcver bothered himself about an eight-hour day. It cer- 
tainly took him some time to capture the treasure. That, 
we must admit, but when did he find time to bury it? 
Think of the years and years he must have spent in this 
branch of his business. There is scarcely a place from 
Long Island Sound to Bar Harbor in which there isn't a 
well authenticated tradition regarding buried treasure of 
Captain Kidd's! Poor fellow! He was sadly over- 
worked. 

An echo of the profligate days of Louis XIV reached 
even this far away shore in those early days. 

Henrietta, Duchesse. d'Orleans, aunt of the king, ob- 
tained from her unlprtupati^iusband, Charles the First, 
the relinquishment of Arcadia by tl^e; English. 

Whether this,^ interference with Britons' prestige in 
America, a poiiit on which they, were very sensitive, was 
responsible for her dramatic ending, can only be sur- 
mised. Suffice it to say that she was soon one of the 
many victims of the poisoners in the time of Louis. The 
peculiarly sad part of this tragedy arose from the fact 
that the poisoners, to make sure of their atrocious work, 
so managed the plot that the poison was unwittingly 
sent to the widowed queen by her own lover the Chev- 
alier de Lorraine. 

The influence of this unhappy woman, together with 
two other noted French women, that of Madame de 
Guercheville and Madame Gregoire, was felt for a long 
time in this lonely isle. The former established a colony 
under a grant dated 1607 from Henry IV. The latter 
subsequently (after the abandonment of this colony) ob- 
tained a grant for the island from the Colony of Massa- 
chusetts Bay, who were satisfied that she was a lineal 



192 MR. GOGGLES 



descendant of Cadillac, who had obtained the grant in 
1688 from Louis XIV. 

What that keen appreciation for the romantic and 
poetic traditions of history, characteristic of our modem 
life, there is now no reminder on the island of Mt. 
Desert of the French occupation. The grave of the 
Gregoires is in the old northeast comer of the burying 
ground. But no stone marks the site of the homes of 
Gregoire, de Guerdieville or of Henrietta of Orleans. 
Even the Rodicks had a hotel named after them. But 
tfiey were porgy fishermen. 

I think we shall stay here a few days. There is cer- 
tainly a fascination about the island which is wholly a 
thing of its own creation. There is a sense of freedom, 
of exhilaration which you do not feel on the mainland. 
The roads are magnificent and driving a wonderful pleas- 
ure. I cannot begin to describe the many surprises pro- 
voked by a walk on the Tow or Shore road. Every step 
reveals a marine picture of wondrous beauty. The har- 
bor is dotted with the gleaming hulls of many private 
yachts. Hither and thither dart the whitened sails of 
numerous yachts and pleasure sailing craft of every de- 
scription. The Indian birch-bark canoe, with its bril- 
liant trappings filled with gay and laughing parties, is 
everywhere in evidence. Rounding the islands and com- 
ing to anchor in the harbor are the numerous vessels of 
the fishing fleet at the dose of a satisfactory day's 
"catch,** which include craft of every conceivable pic- 
turesque description. 

In the offing, perhaps, may be at anchor, the gfreat 
white fighting ships of the North Atlantic squadron, who 
rendezvous each summer at this resort. Saucy little 
gigs, latmches and barges, conveying admirals, captains 



MR. GOGGLES. 193 



and distinguished visitors, impart an animation to the pic- 
ture, the delight of which lingers long on the memory. 
There may be more interesting sights than Bar Harbor's 
green waters at the height of the season, but if there is 
then I for one, have failed to see them. 

The pleasures of the sea are only exceeded by the re- 
markable wealth of beauty on the mainland. An island 
only fourteen miles long and twelve broad, yet traversed 
by a dozen mountains, is not to be denied. All the charm 
of woodland, lake, river and mountain are encompassed 
in this miniature fairyland. 

Up Green Mountain the trip is full of kaleidoscopic 
surprises. One moment the path lies through a noble 
forest of pine, spruce and birch. Again you are looking 
down on Eagle Lake. A little further along appears a 
strip of the ocean studded with numerous islands. Turn- 
ing abruptly to the left the eastern coast of the island 
comes into view. The village of Bar Harbor lies at your 
feet with its twinkling water craft. Just beyond are the 
dark green hills of Porcupine Islands. Lamoine on its 
level peninsula, Sullivan at the head of its beautiful bay, 
Sorrento with its pretty little harbor shut in by pictur- 
esque islands, and Winter Harbor, with its rocky head- 
lands all come into view. 

All the other drives seem to have beauties of their own 
also. The view from the top of Green Mountain de- 
serves a chapter in itself. I feel that I cannot do justice 
to that panorama of ocean, bay, harbor, village and main- 
land stretched out before the eyes till skyline meets hori- 
zon. It was certainly a justification of all the extrava- 
gant claims made on behalf of this wonderful island. I 
felt fully repaid and can truly say that Bar Harbor was 
all my fancy painted it. 



194 MR. GOGGLES 



In the development of the Cottage Colony man for 
once at least, has worked in harmony with Nature's plans. 
No more artistic or beautiful villas can be seen anywhere 
in this or other countries. While they show utter disre- 
gard for cost, yet there are no offenses against architec- 
tural good taste and the landscape gardening is on the 
same tasteful and successful magnificence. Some of the 
best known names in the country are residents here in the 
summer. 

It will be a long time before we forget our delightful 
impressions of this charming spot. I have seen, as you 
know, many of the oldtime famous resorts, but this one 
transcends them all in everything that one desires in a 
summer residence. 

I am afraid I am getting too enthusiastic or too tire- 
some. Which? 

Well, I'll stop. It's time for bed. 

Your aff. 

Helen. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Castine, Maine. 
Dear Popsy: 

I really think we have finally turned our faces home- 
ward. I shall be guided somewhat by your own move- 
ments, regarding the exact date of our arrival in New 
York. 

Whether the country at large can stand such an epoch 
marking event as our meeting, is a question. But I am 
reckless. I really do not care what happens to such a 
big splendid place anyhow. Something ought to happen 
to take the conceit out of it. 




Grtat Head, Mt. Desert Island 



MR. GOGGLES 195 



Wc came over from Bar Harbor this morning on the 
Sappho, the little express steamer that runs in connection 
with the railroad. We passed through Sorrento, a very 
charming summer colony on the way to Castine. 

Castine held me fascinated. Not so much for what it 
is today as for its highly romantic career of the past. 
Why anybody, (to say nothing of three great nations), 
should struggle so valiantly for the possession of such an 
out of the way place passes my understanding. Yet it 
was the scene of more dramatic incidents in the early 
history of our country than almost any other section. 
Wrested in turn by the Indians from the settlers, by the 
settlers from the Indians, by England from Prance, by 
Prance from England,by;England fromthfe Colonies and 
finally by the Colonies^from Enjgland, one would imagine 
it was a point of the utmost strategic importance. 

It doesn't seem to Ijave been anything of the sort. It 
evidently derived its importance from the fact that it 
was a French outpost, thrust, with impudent indiscretion, 
so far out, as to be a constant source of irritation and 
temptation to the English. 

In the long struggle for supremacy in America be- 
tween these two powerful nations poor little Castine was 
always the first to feel the shock of battle. Up would 
come a detachment from Maine or Massachusetts, and 
capture the fort. News would soon reach Quebec, and 
down would come a horde of French or Indians to re- 
take the post And so on it would go — battledore and 
shuttlecock with Castine the ball. Traces of more than 
a score of forts can still be seen on its shores. The ruins 
of old Fort George are still in a remarkable state of prcs- 
ervaticxi. The moat is intact, the esplanade harshly 



196 MR. GOGGLES 



broken in outline. A few hours' woric, they say, would 
serve to put it in fairiy good condition again. 

It was in this fort that General Wadsworth, grand- 
father of Longfellow, was taken after his capture at 
Thomaston. The romance of his daring escape — his des- 
perate plight on the wilds of the coast after leaving the 
fort, reads like a chapter from medieval days. 

When the Colonists attacked this same fort it was our 
old friend General Wadsworth, whe led the assatdt in 
person. Paul Revere, he of the famous Lexington ride, 
commanded the artillery. 

Another familiar name which stands forth prominently 
in connection with events in this part of the country is 
General Benjamin Lincoln of Hingham, one of the an- 
cestors of Abraham Lincoln. It must be that Goggles is 
right, for there certainly was quality in the Lincoln blood. 
This General Lincoln was the trusted friend of General 
Henry Knox, Washington's most beloved officer in the 
Continental army and rendered valiant service in the 
army. 

Another famous name in history in that same engage- 
ment was Captain, afterwards Sir John Moore, who was 
seriously wounded. He was subsequently killed in the 
Hundred Days War in Spain against Napoleon under 
Wellington. Byron said Wolfe's lines on that occasion 
were the finest he ever read. You remember them, be- 
ginning — 

" Not a drum was heard, not a funeral note 
As his corpse to the rampart we hurried. 

Not a soldier discharged his farewell shot, 
O'er the grave where our hero we buried.** 

"Moore," said Napoleon, who had cause to know, "was 
a brave soldier, an excellent officer and a man of talent." 



MR. GOGGLES 197 



Being informed of his death, he said : "Ah ! that is neces- 
sary sometimes. He died gloriously; he died like a sol- 
dier." 

It seems strange doesn't it, Popsy, that such a little bit 
of a place as Castine should loom so large in the world's 
history? 

We know that the great minister of Louis the Magni- 
ficent, Cardinal Richelieu, was well acquainted with 
every foot of Castine by constant consideration of its 
military strength. Mazarin, Colbert and other great 
chancellors of France, were likewise well informed. In 
the great halls of Westminster in England, maps and 
ground plans and approaches of Castine were the con- 
stant study of such statesmen as Clarendon, the great 
Bolingbroke, My Lord Buckingham, the favorite of 
Charles the First, Thurlow and other great ministers. 

How are the mighty fallen! Today, there are now 
none so poor politically as to do her reverence — ^but the 
summer colony never tire of her praises. 

A sense of the old importance of Castine has descended 
in spirit at least, to the natives of today. An unusually 
high standard of refinement and culture is plainly dis- 
cernible and a normal high school, perhaps the finest 
in the state, attests the intellectual appreciation of the 
people. In its new role as one of the most delightful 
vacation towns on the coast it bids fair to enjoy in future 
a career of peace and rest as equally distinguished as its 
former period of war and bustle. 

We left old Castine with deep regrets and a sigh for 
the knightly warriors of old who far from home and 
loved ones, still battled valiantly for country, God and 
king. With the passing of Castine, so ended also the 
dominion of France in America. 



198 MR. GOGGLES 



The many attractions of the island studded coast in- 
duced us to return to Rockland by steamer. Deer Isle 
whence come those famous mariners always selected to 
man the sloop selected to defend the America's cup, is 
seen in the distance. Dark Harbor, Isleboro and a dozen 
other charming resorts, are next on the way with the dark 
mountains of Camden in the distance. Presently Owl's 
Head lighthouse, marking the entrance to Rockland Har- 
bor, looms into view and the boat swings gracefully into 
Rockland Harbor. 

The sail was so thoroughly enjoyable that we soon 
reached the conclusion that we could stand a little more 
of the same thing. Accordingly we Itmched at the Som- 
erset and (took the boat back to Portland, there to con- 
nect with the various lines that connect this summer land 
with the trains. In the night we passed famed Mon- 
hegan Light and again enjoyed a morning sail up beauti- 
ful Casco Bay. 

The route followed by these steamers takes one 
through one of the most interesting regions of the 
Maine coast. There seem to be no end of beautiful har- 
bors, enticing islands and other attractions. Popham 
Beach, Boothbay Harbor, Squirrel Island, Small Point, 
Pemaquid, Georgetown, Christmas Cove, far-famed 
Monhegan Isle, Mutineer's Hill, cause to rise up in 
countless minds memories of miany happy hours spent 
along this favored region. 

Pemaquid is one of the most interesting spots to the 
antiquarian along the whole coast of New England. It 
marks the site of a fort erected there as far back as 
1607. On the face of a huge boulder this date is roughly 
carved and is all that remains of Ferdinand George's 
first attempt to colonize in this neighborhood. 




0) 



E 

6 



o 

CO 

s- 



MR. GOGGLES 199 



Pl)rmouth has so long held the centre of the stage with 
a spot light glaring all the time upon her, that few per- 
sons are aware of this early settlement at Pemaquid. Yet 
history tells tis that even the Pilgrims tiiemselves were 
saved by the little group of fishermen at Pemaquid dur- 
ing that terrible second winter. 

Another figure, without which no New England story 
is ever genuine, also appears at this juncture — our an- 
cient and venerable Indian hero, Samoset — ^whose "Wel- 
come EnglishmaM," has done duty in histories, hotel 
booklets, railroad guides. Forefather's dinners and real 
estate ads. time without number. 

This picturesque figfure has also been appropriated by 
the Pilgrims. In fact, a careful study of these enterpris- 
ing gentry at that particular period shows them to have 
had a predilection for appropriating almost anything. No 
one in Pl)rmouth seems to have been at all surprised to 
see a savage walk right out of the primeval forest and 
address them in their native tongue! He is one of the 
most valuable "properties" the Pilgrims have, yet he 
really belongs to Pemaquid. Samoset informed Gov- 
ernor Bradford of the existence of the settlement in 
Maine and as the Pilgrims were sorely pressed for food 
Winslow was sent with a shallop to investigate. He re- 
turned with an abundance of supplies and informed the 
governor that there were more than thirty ships sailing 
and fishing at Pemaquid Bay. 

This undoubtedly led to the other trading expeditions 
sent out by the Pilgrims which ultimately extended as 
far north as Louisburg. 

Pemaquid seems to have been known as a fishing and 
trading post as far back as 1602 and was frequently vis- 
ited by vessels from both France and England. There 



200 MR. GOGGLES 



are other instances of such spasmodic settlements else- 
where along the coast — ^notably Cape Ann, whose fishing 
rights were actually controlled by a company in London. 
In fact, our little hot-tempered friend from Plymouth — 
Myles Standish — ^had quite a mix-up with one of those 
visiting traders on one occasion, as a result of this con- 
dition of things. 

The latter was of the opinion that the Plymouth party 
were poaching on their preserves. That was the wrong 
kind of an observation to make in the presence of such 
a timid, shrinking sort of a violet, as the Pl)rmouth cap- 
tain. As a natural result, all hands got busy, and the 
Plymouth shallop sailed home with a lot of other things 
besides the fish they had come to catch. 

Pemaquid began to grow in importance. Quite a good 
sized fort was built there in 1630, which was destroyed 
by pirates a couple of years later. Then Governor An- 
dros of New York, received orders from England to 
build another. This was destroyed by Indians. A third, 
this time of stone and mortar, with a wall twenty-two 
feet high, was erected under the supervision of Sir 
William Phipps, tiie first governor of Massachusetts, at 
a cost of $20,000— a huge sum for those days. This was 
destroyed by a combined land and naval attack by the 
French and Indians under our friend Baron Castine and 
three French warships under Admiral D'Iberville. 

Nothing daunted, a fourth was built by England which 
stood tin 1759, when the last fort on old Pemaquid was 
destroyed by its own builders to prevent it falling into 
the hands of the British during the Revolution. 

What Castine was to the French so was Pemaquid to 
the English. And during the long struggle between 
those powerful nations for supremacy in America, both 



MR. GOGGLES 201 



these almost forgotten places were constantly in the fore- 
front of battle. 

As seats of empire they no longer exist, but as havens 
of rest and recreation who shall deny that their latter 
day mission is not more valuable to the world than their 
former? 

In the afternoon we ran over to Monhegan Island — 
one of the most noted of all the outlying islands of 
Maine. It's a dozen or so miles right out into the ocean. 
It is unique inasmuch as it is a small world by itself. 
The island contains something like a thousand acres. It 
has about a hundred inhabitants. The men are wholly 
engaged in fishing. The smaller people tend the few 
live stock on the island and do what little farming is 
possible. 

There are no roads on the island. It is said that some 
of the natives have actually never even seen a horse and 
know of them only through reading. What they would 
do if we should suddenly tear through the blissful quiet 
with the honk-honk of an automobile, I do not venture 
to predict. 

The inhabitants seem well contented. They have about 
a dozen or fifteen houses and a schoolhouse. There is 
no representative of the law on the island, the people 
governing themselves according to their ancient usage. 
They have no need of taxes consequently collect none. 
Most of them are comfortably situated, some even well 
to do. The famous light which is on their island keeps 
them constantly in touch with inland aflfairs. 

About the only thing that aflfords them social diversion 
is the occasional visits of hard pressed mariners. Their 
island is so fortunately situated that vessels forced upon 



202 MR. GOGGLES 



the shore in heavy gales frequently seek the shelter of 
its harbor. 

At such times every door is opened and the unex- 
pected guest is made thrice welcome. After the fatigue 
and hunger have been relieved, the mariners spin out the 
story of their adventures and for the time being the 
island is bubbling over with excitement. 

Stories of the great fight between the Boxer and En- 
terprise, which was fought near her rocky headlands, 
are still handed down from father to son in the original 
language of their not very remote ancestors who per- 
sonally saw what they described. 

They are omnivorous readers, for which they have 
ample time, and liberal subscribers to the better class of 
magazines and periodicals. There is a delightful sim- 
plicity about these people at present. But the island it- 
self will in time become so popular with summer tourists 
that I fear they will ultimately discover the money mak- 
ing possibilities of the "Cookie" and the "personally con- 
ducted." 

Let us hope these panhandling days will never pene- 
trate ideal conditions and thus destroy the dignity and 
peace of dear old Monhegan. 

Another island in this vicinity, of an entirely different 
character, but on account of its level ground, of more 
popularity is Squirrel Island. This has been a great fa- 
vorite with Maine people for many years, but is now at- 
tracting a large and constantly increasing number of 
strangers from other states. Those who look for the 
primitive resort of twenty years ago, will be sadly dis- 
appointed they tell me. The vastly exciting game of 
croquet has been succeeded by golf. The amateur base- 
ball games which formed a nine days wonder, are now 



MR. GOGGLES 203 



played in the handsome new Casino grounds. Evening 
dress is de rigeur at any gathering at night and the 
sweet simplicity of olden times has given way before 
the advent of wealth and fashion. 

Still the change is not for the worse. I must confess 
that there is a positive physical tonic in the change of 
dress and I believe much of the growing popularity of 
the custom is due to the fact that people realize this 
fact. 

Directly across the bay is Boothbay Harbor — another 
charming resort and there are scores and hundreds all 
about here equally good. All this part of Maine is ideal 
summer land. Its cool and bracing breezes come from 
the Arctic current which flows direct from the pole almost 
down the coast of Maine. 

This strata of ice cold water does not meet the warm 
water of the Gulf Stream till it reaches Portsmouth. At 
that' point the Gulf Stream makes out into the ocean 
bound for Europe. It never touches the waters of 
Maine. That's why bathing at Bar Harbor and almost 
anywhere else north of York Beach is considered too 
cold to be popular. 

In leaving the "rock-bound coast of Maine" it is with a 
lovely sense of its many remarkable attractions. If we 
have apparently forgotten our car, Papa, it is simply 
that the marine end of our trip for the time being proved 
too seductive to resist. 

I rather imagine we shall make a short trip into the 
White Mountains. It is a few hours run from here. 
In fact, Goggles says this is the most astonishing coun- 
try he ever saw — all sorts and kinds of coimtry rolled 
into one — ^and all so near to each other that a few hours' 
run will take you from one to the other. 



204 MR. GOGGLES 



Goggles is a sutprisingly good sailor. Also a good 
golfer. He doesn't believe in shooting. Can't under- 
stand why anyone should want to kill such a sweet and 
beautiful creature as a deer. 

Neither do I and I am glad to find one man who 
doesn't need to go a-butchering to make a holiday. 

I hope to get one of your far-famed letters one of 
these days. 

Your aflf. 

Helen. 



MR. GOGGLES 205 



Chaptek V 

[Letter from Helen to her Father,] 

Dear Daddy: 

I am beginning to count the minutes till I see you 
again. A month, ordinarily, is not so long, but the one 
just ahead of me seems as if it stretched into eternity. 

I was glad to know by your letters at Portland that you 
still had lots of confidence in the common sense of your 
only daughter. Of course, I didn't mean you to under- 
stand that I was serious when I spoke of Goggles. Still 
it is nice of you to say what you did. 

I think myself that if he is the right man, money 
needn't make so much difference. I have plenty for both. 

But I rather imagine the difficulty in that case would be 
with this imperious young person himself. Nothing 
can exceed the extreme condescension, the hearty disdain, 
with which he demeans himself toward what he terms the 
"recent rich." 

Anyone to see him on these occasions would esteem him 
the scion of a hundred earls. It's positively refreshing. 

I shall, however, from now on, dismiss him from my 
mind. He has been a most excellent guide, and has ex- 
erted himself to the utmost to make everyone comfortable. 
I have decided that I don't want him as a chauffeur — ^it's 
really embarrassing at times to hand him shawls, straps 
and things, and treat him as a "useful" man. And there 



ao6 MR. GOGGLES 



are times when he seems too superior for even cigarettes^ 
plug or smoking. 
Oh, dear ! I wish I had stayed at home. 

Your Loving Daughter, 

Helen. 



[Letter from Van to Drysdale.] 

In Camp. 

Dear Drysdale: 

I suppose I ought to shed hot scalding tears at the 
awful dilemma in which you are placed. I am so lost 
in admiration, however, at your effrontery in blaming me 
for it, that I cannot quite get into the proper melting 
mood. 

Any man who is so hopelessly in love with a woman to 
whom he may only say, "Yes, mem." "No, mem." "Do 
you think so?" etc., is hardly a fit subject for commisera- 
tion. 

Now if it were only Edith. Oh! I forgot to tell you. 
Her party met with some mishap which compelled them 
to return to such pitiable hospitality as we could aflford. 
They were here for about a week. 

If Miss Winthrop is anything half as sweet as Edith 
(but pshaw! that can't possibly be) I could tmderstand 
your perfectly ridiculous procedure. Edith is one girl in 
a thousand; yes, in a million. 

I think you have intimated that Miss Winthrop is 
passing fair. In fact, you have raved over her beauty so 
much that it is positively disgfusting. What will you say 
when you see Edith? 

She will be in New York next winter. She has a cousin 
there who is her great chum. Same name, too, as tiiat 




E 

6 



3 
CO 



""tc'^l 






<'L 






MR. GOGGLES 207 



girl who has you hypnotized — Helen. Wonder if it's the 
same? 

Can't be. Edith is one of our kind. She doesn't teach 
school, as, no doubt, Miss Winthrop does — ^though that 
is not crime. Yes it is. At any rate it's punished by 
hard labor. 

Well, what I started out to say, before I got oflF the 
track, was that your gunboat suggestion is not at all bad. 
We can see the coast for miles from a high boulder not 
far from the camp, and access to the shore is easy and 
safe. 

No one thinks assistance coUld possibly reach us from 
that side, so it is left entirely unprotected. You see we 
are on a narrow strip of upland, and the trail leads from 
the interior. 

Edith and her party were much interested in your gun- 
boat scheme. She thinks it is perfectly splendid. 

They depart tomorrow. After that your gunboat can't 
come any too soon. 

Yours, 

Van. 

P. S. — Courier has just brought in word that a small 
black object is descried on the horizon. It is leaving a 
long dark trail in the sky behind it 

Well, if it's your gunboat it will have to wait a day. 

V. 



[Letter from Drysdaie to Van.] 

Dear Van: 

That letter of yours is the proverbial strain that breaks 
the back of one of the most monumental asses in New 
England. 



ao8 MIL GOGGLES 



What a preposterous and ridiculous idea it is to even 
think of /trying to break through the rascals who sur- 
round you I 

There have been times, dear Van, during the past few 
weeks, in which I could have applauded that spectacular 
and dramatic manner of your taking o£F. But not now. 
Van; not now. 

Your mother needs you. Your father needs you. Your 
sister needs you. Edith needs you. It is not to be 
thought of. 

Besides, have you paused to reflect upon the lovely 
situation in which your demise at the present time will 
leave me? 

Of course, if you choose to break the hearts of all your 
friends and family, you will try to escape. But take my 
advice and remain inactive. You are not prepared to die. 
I cabled for a gunboat which ought to reach you soon. 

Get on board and they will let you off at the first 
American port you touch. Frcmi there, get on a rail- 
road train and come up here, quick. 

Miss Winthrop's father is expected home in about a 
month. We are now returning to New York. I am just 
as far away frcmi the object of my travels as I was at 
the start. 

With possibly this exception. We do get along fa- 
mously together. We often walk alone, and many oppor- 
tunities are provided for long and delightful tete-a-tetes. 

Oh, if only you were here ! But youVe spoiled every- 
thing. I scarcely hear a knock on the door without 
thinking some idiot of an officer has come to arrest me. 

In your detestable mind, no doubt, this would make a 
happy ending. If Miss Winthrop cares for me she will 
be all sympathy and helpfulness; refuse to believe me 



MR. GOGGLES 209 



guilty and stoutly protest that it is all a horrible mis- 
take. 

I grant you, Van, that that is a very delightful picture. 
Can you imagine the situation? 

TIME^THE PRESENT. 

Scene — ^In the Grounds of the Aspinwall, Lenox. 

Enter: Deeply distressed female weeping bitterly. Soft 
music, green lights. 

"Where is my faithful Goggles? Oh! Shall I never see him 
again? How can I live without Goggles! Come to my arms. 
Goggles. Never more shall we be parted, never. I love you, 
love you, love you!" 

I 
Say Van, that's perfectly fine. I don't care how soon 

I'm arrested. 

What's that? Suppose she skipped back to New York 
leaving you to look out for yourself? 

Of course, it wouldn't be you if you didn't think up 
some nasty thing like that, you green-eyed monster. 

Van, you can make a man think of more horrible situa- 
tions in a minute, with your inane suggestions, than I can 
forget in a month. It's positively indecent. 

Yes, and what's worse, if you never turn up again, as 
you surely won't (if you are killed down there in that 
wilderness), there will never be any explanation. 

Good-night, sweet, kind friend. Is my necktie on 
straight? Does it harmonize with the color of the 
rope? 

Yours, 

Drysdale. 



2IO MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Helen to her Fatker.'\ 

Dear Pop: 

I shall only be able to write joa a few letters now as it 
will soon be sailing date. Oh! how glad IH be to 
see joa\ 

We met with what threatened to be rather a sad acci- 
dent yesterday. Chubb was at the steering-wheel of a 
strange car when it struck a sunken trolley track, half 
hidden under tall grass. The jolt threw the wheel out 
of his hands and he lost control. 

In a nunnent we were skimming down the road at a 
very lively gait, headed straight for a dump of trees. 
I didn't realize the danger till I heard Chubb cry, "J^"*Vt 
Miss Winthrop, jump!" 

And he disappeared over the side! 

Aunt Fanny was in a faint I htgin to realize the 
great danger we were in, but was perfectly helpless. 

Faster and faster slipped the road under us, and these 
awful blade trees with thdr waving branches, seemed 
fairly to be dancing in ghoulish glee at our impending 
catastrophe. 

Already one side of the machine had left the levd road 
and was rocking violently to and fro. I was so utterly 
dazed with fear that I didn't hear the chug-chug of an- 
other machine now almost alongside. Another moment I 
thought, and it will all be over. I remember a distinct 
feeling of relief at the thought that the horrible suspense 
would soon be ended, and closed my eyes to shut out the 
impending crash. 

A grating, grinding sound suddenly struck my ears 
and a feeling that the power had been suddenly shut oflF 
caused a wild hope to leap in my heart. Had something 



MR. GOGGLES 211 



miraculous suddenly intervened to prevent our certain 
destruction? • 

I was too stunned to reason or comprehend. I guess 
I must have joined Aunt Fanny in a faint. However that 
may be, I opened my eyes to find myself lying on the lush 
grass looking right up into the smiling face of — Goggles!. 

"You're all right," he sang out cheerily, "but be still a 
moment. I'll get you a glass of water." 

In a moment he returned and the delicious draught sent 
renewed life through my shattered nerves. Then he 
turned to another form on the ground. 

"Where's Aunt Fanny?" I asked, anxiously. 

"Here, my dear," said a voice in the direction of 
Goggles. "But what in the world has happened? Are 
we alive?" 

"Seems so. There's the machine ; there's the trees. And 
there's Goggles. Why, there's two machines !" 

And so there was. 

Goggles never had any confidence in Chubb as a driver 
he told me that night. So when we started out he kept 
close behind in his Maxwell, '' for an3rthing that might 
be needed,"ihe explained. 

He understood exactly what had happened and was 
alongside in far less time than it takes to tell. It was the 
work of a moment to throw off the power and apply the 
brake. How he managed the jump from his car to ours 
I do not know. Nor will any amount of coaxing get him 
to say znything about it. He was as mute as an oyster 
when we brought the subject up after dinner, so I have 
given him up as a queer customer. 

We retired rather early. I was rather badly shaken up 
and had a real good fright. Before going upstairs Aunt 
Fanny had the grace to send for him. 



212 MR. GOGGLES 

"You arc a very brave and noble lad," she said, in that 
whole-souled manner she has when she wants to. "I 
wish to thank you for my niece and for myself. It was 
a courageous thing to do." 

"The niece endorses emphatically all the Aunt has 
said," I added, holding out my hand. 

For about the fraction of a minute he hesitated. Then 
I felt a warm pressure that — ^would you believe it — sent 
the color to my cheeks? 

Thank goo<hiess it was dark. I shan't shake hands 
with that young man again till my nerves are in better 
shape. And you better hurry home. 

Your loving daughter, Helen. 

N. B. — ^We didn't see Chubb again. He wasn't badly 
hurt, only he thought he had been away from the office 
long enough. He didn't even stop to bid us good-bye. 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

The Aspinwall, Lenox, Mass. 
My dear Van: 

Affairs at the old homestead are moving along in 
their old quiet humdrum way. The old brindle cow is 
now giving two quarts a day, and the old oaken bucket, 
three. Old Dobbin has gone lame, the hens have the pip 
and the com is full of rust. Several new kinds of gold 
bricks have been sold to me since my last, and a note for 
fifteen hundred dollars turned up, raised from fifteen, 
which I gave for a new incubator. 

The incubator man also sold me the country rights for 
a great scheme to raise chickens dieaply. 

I was to feed them commeal exclusively for awhile, 
then mix a little sawdust with the meal. I was gradually 



MR. GOGGLES 213 



to diminish the corn and. increase the sawdust till no meal 
was left. 

The plan seemed to work all right till suddenly a brood 
was hatched. Most of the chicks had wooden legs. And 
one was a woodchuck. 

Then the hens began to lay nothing but kmotholes. 

Finally, one morning, when I was in a hurry, I bit a 
hard boiled egg in two and got my mouth full of 
splinters. 

With these trifling exceptions the independent life of a 
farmer is still all that the poets rave about 

Last night at the meetin' house the choir sang, ''Where 
is My Wandering Boy Tonight?" And I told the pastor 
that if he would locate a certain young lady answering to 
the name of Edith, that at least, one wandering boy would 
be found not far from that vicinity. I wouldn't be at all 
surprised to hear that you let that gunboat go. I fully 
expect a high sounding epistle about your magnanimous 
sacrifice on behalf of a distressed female whom your de- 
sertion at that time would have exposed to an almost cer- 
tain and horrible death. 

It is simply disgusting to think what a man will do for 
a pretty face. Home, mother, honor, friends — everything 
— is sacrificed at the rustle of a silken skirt so long as the 
owner is fair to look upon. 

And what do you suppose she cares for you — ^you 
miserable, smudgy-faced ditch digger? Bah! it mdces 
me shudder to think of the frailty of man — ^tlie utter 
worthlessness of human friendship under such circum- 
stances. 

Your place is home. Here. And rig^t now. Any 
moment I may be haled as a detestable criminal ! And all 
because you can't be found. 



214 MR. GOGGLES 



And just when things were going so nicely with Miss 
Winthropytoo! 

Oh I for words to express my opinion of you— caitiflF, 
coward, wretch I 

Unless I receive immediately^ a telegram or letter say- 
ing that you have started, I shall positively forbid Helen 
from renewing her acquaintance with Edith in New York. 

Disgustedly yours, 

D&YSDALE. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Dear Pop: 

I Mrish there was some way of coming home by rail 
from Lcmdon. Now that you are really packing up, the 
time seems to drag so. Don't postpone your departure 
again, will you? 

I had a rather long letter from Mr. Chubb this morn- 
ing. It didn't interest me, particularly. He makes a 
long explanation which doesn't explain. 

Mr. Goggles tock us for a ride through these beautiful 
hills. Both Aunt Fanny and myself have decided that 
some breaking down of the barriers is permissible now, 
under the circumstances. We talked now on the ap- 
proaching end of our trip, and his future. 

"I've had some letters frcwn father," I said, by way of 
introducing the subject 

No answer. 

"I mentioned to him the fact that I had discovered, pos- 
sibly, a valuable addition to the forces of the Tobacco 
Company." 

"Awfully good of you to put in that 'possibly.' " 

"Thank you, Mr. Teddy Bear." 




A Bit of the Berkshires 



I PUBLIC ;JjRARY 

ASTU:?. LENOX 
[TILDEN yuUNDATIONB 



MR. GOGGLES 215 



No answer. 

"I as much as told His Majesty that he must take care 
of you. They do that occasionally in the company, I bc- 
Ueve.^' 

"How touching," 

"Exactly." 

"What would I be supposed to do?" 

"I don't know. Couldn't you draw your salary?" 

"Yes. But would that pass for work, there?" 

"It's been known to." 

He didn't seem to betray an overwhelming interest in 
the project, papa, and I am afraid after all he might prove 
more ornamental than useful. And I'd hate to be the 
means of introducing such an anomaly into your splendid 
organization; ' 

He had a rough sketch of a new house which seemed to 
interest him more. "This," he explained, looking at the 
plans," is the house of John o' Dreams; he is building it 
for the bride of his imagination. See, here is the rose 
garden, and here's the " 

'*What room is that?" I said, interrupting. 

"Oh, that's the gun room. Across the hall is the bil- 
liard room. Up in the tower there, is the study. It over- 
lodes the sea. The music room is here." 

"And where may this wonderful mansion be?" 

" 'Tisn't very wonderful, nor even a mansion. Merely 
a little shooting box I was— he is— supposed to btiild on 
the coast of Scotland. The moors are all behind it Here 
they are ; see !" And he pointed out the direction. 

"Qose to the sea; isn't it?" 

"Very. The tower rooms look directly over it. The 
surf breaks on the foundation rocks." 

"John o' Dreams is quite a clever architect," I re- 



2i6 MR. GOGGLES 



marked; ''almost as clever as the artist who taught yoa 
cocldng in the lumber caiiq>. ''I wonder if he is a rein- 
carnation, too?*' 

Goggles smiled. And such a winning, genial smilel 
Not that half frightened cjmical one of old, but something 
so irresistible, so infectious, that it aq>tured everything. 

Aunt Fanny has been much interested in our, — I mean 
Mr. Goggles'— queer doctrine of Reincarnation. Certainly 
if it produces such good architects, good chau£Feurs and 
good dinners, it can't be a bad thing. I tell him to stay 
here with it. There never was a time when something 
new in the Psychic line wasn't welccxned with open arms 
in New England. 

Christian Science for the time being has lost its novelty. 
For a good many years, however, this churdi will produce 
a body of soothsayers, readers and doctors that Mrill do 
much to gratify tihe craving of New England for the 
weird and the mystic. 

The Spiritualists still hold forth in highly respectable 
numbers, and manage to secure an apparently endless 
supply of dupes. They do the same old rappings on the 
same old table in the same old way. Their Camp Meet- 
ings are everywhere in summer, but something else is 
needed, some new psycalistic shocker and Reincarnation 
is as good as any. 

I am sorry to say, however, that Free Thinking seems 
to have got the better start. There is quite a discussion 
going on now about this fad. I don't know just what it 
means, nor what it is about. But it touches more espe- 
cially on Marriage and Divorce— -the Uselessness of 
Either. Ahem I 

Some fine morning when our dear Puritanic friends 
suddenly realize ''whither they are drifting,'' that did 



MR. GOGGLES 217 



New England coiiscience will wake and smite them hip 
and thigh. Into the fire will go all these essays on 
Trial Marriages, Should the State Take the Children, and 
other such shocking themes as are now discussed in all 
piety and sincerity. 

From the days of good old Anne Hutchinson to the 
present, New England has always been the friend, the 
protector and the guardian angel of the man or woman 
with a new cult. 

Think then of the beauty of Reincarnation ! No mat- 
ter how feeble we seem to be or listless or unambitious. 
That's "suspended animation" for which we are not to 
blame. When Nature wants us to be great she will be- 
stow upon us the peerless gift of genius. So, no matter 
what condition may be ours — ^it is right. 

I don't think much of that doctrine myself. Still, as 
food for thought for the faddist it will do as well as the 
others. 

I simply just love to relate all these queer things to you, 
Popsy — ^you are so patient, so tolerant, so altogether help- 
less. 

Besides that, I don't believe you read much more than 
to find out whether I am alive and well or not. Then the 
secretary does the rest 

Sir f A Day of Reckoning Is At Hand ! 

Till then, as ever. 

Your loving, 

Helen. 

P. S. — ^You are great because your father was great, 
Mr. Reincarnation. 



2i8 MR. GOGGLES 



[Letter from Van.] 

My dear Drysdale: 

I am writing you this note with my eyes filled with 
tears and my heart heavy with sorrow. 

I let the gunboat go! 

I know you will forgive me when you know the rea- 
son why. You would have done the same thing had you 
been in my place. 

Besides, I don't believe you will be hung right away. 
Of course, you might, I'll admit, but then you always 
were lucky. I honestly forgot all about that at the time. 
It was beastly careless of me, and I am ashamed of my- 
self. 

I cannot sleep at night now for thinking. Every once 
in a while I hear a deep solemn voice saying something 
about ''hanging by the neck till you be dead," and I see 
your face looking at me, oh ! so reproachfully. 

It's dreadfully annoying, especially when one would 
rather — much rather — be thinking of someone else. Why 
can't these vulgar criminals be kept where they belong? 

As I said in my last letter, the party, including Miss 
Edith, returned for a few weeks' stay. Now, old man, 
I would gladly have left on the boat, only, don't you see, 
there was an unprotected female on my hands, so to 
speak. Why, it would have been certain death to leave 
her at that critical mcxnent Her father, brother, and rest 
of the party — ^what did th^ know about the dangers 
which threatened her on every side? Besides, they had 
enough to do to look after the others. 

I tell you, my boy, it was one of those supreme mo- 
ments when self simply had to be forgotten. I flatter 
myself that I had moral courage enough to rise to the 



MR. GOGGLES 219 



occasion. Congratulate me. It is very hard, sometimes^ 
to choose 'twixt love and duty. 

The captain said he couldn't get here again for another 
month. I don't think Edith can stay any longer than a 
month. At least, she says so. 

When you recall the fact that these coasters don't get 
here much oftener than once a year, a month doesn't seem 
so fearfully long, does it? 

I think I would worry about missing that gunboat were 
it not that I understood your high ideals so well — ^Rescue 
the Perishing! Duty first — ^and all these other humdrum 
aphorisms, as I used to call them.- 

Now, I realize what they mean, and am lost in profound 
admiration of your splendid character, which, I fear, I 
did not sufficiently appreciate before. 

Ever yours. 

Van. 

P. S. — ^Why don't you drop that silly infatuation you 
have for Helen? It's positively sickening. Resume your 
proper place in society, and let me stay here as long as I 
want. 

Edith thinks it is delightful and is in no hurry to get 
back. 



[Letter from Helen to her Father.] 

Dear Daddy: 

Thanks for your cablegram. You needn't hurry home 
on my account. I didn't mean to alarm you. 

You don't understand. Every once in a while I have 
just a sort of hankering for you that I can't help. It 
doesn't mean that I'm ill or anything of the sort If you 
were just an ordinary, every-day, ccnnmonplace father. 



220 MR. GOGGLES 



you might comprehend. But you're so many different 
kinds of Wizards, Magnates, Napoleons, etc, etc, that 
you can't be expected to know. 

Perhaps if that magician of figures at the head of your 
auditing department was requested to take these plaints 
of mine and tabulate them into rows and columns of be- 
wildering figures, he would deduce the startling but cor- 
rect result that the answer was— one little homesidc 
daughter would like to crawl into the lap of her long lost 
daddy. 

And why? Well, because. 

That again is a sealed bode to you. Though you have 
read— or are supposed to have read — no end of long and 
intimate letters from your loving child. 

Yet, it isn't what I say in these letters that ought to 
interest you. It's what I don't say. Now, isn't that 
plain? 

Well, I'm going to stop scolding you. Perhaps on the 
way over you may get time to think. 

Sometimes I wish you would get sick. Not very sick, 
you know, but just enough to have the doctor order you 
away for a rest. 

Then you and I and Goggles could just go off and 
motor to our heart's content 

I wish I could get out of the habit of reckoning Gog- 
gles in on all my future plans. But that young man is 
evidently a necessary part of all my calculations. When 
he takes a day off I simply do nothing till he comes 
back. 

If work produces such men as you and Goggles I don't 
see the use of leisure. And would you mind telling me 
just one thing? Why should a man worth millions keep 
on piling them up ? 



MR. GOGGLES 221 



It is because if he doesn't he will develop (or degen- 
erate) into one of our leisure class? 

If so, I don't blame him. But there ought to be a 
happy medium somewhere. 

Goggles says wealth is no crime. "In which event," I 
remarked, "you are in no danger of prosecution." 

"Perhaps not," he answered. "Anyhow, I'd hate to get 
in trouble among strangers in a strange land." 

I didn't say anything, but I don't think he is absolutely 
without friends while you and I are living, is he. Pop? 

Well, soon 111 see you, then I'll happy be. 

Your loving, 

Helen. 



[From the New York Daily Orb.] 
THE GREAT VAN RENSSELAER MYSTERY. 

AN IMPORTANT ARREST IN THE CASE. 

Splendid work of the Detective Bureau. 
Special to the Orb. 

Lenox, Mass. — Considerable excitement was created 
among the Summer Contingent and the Cottage Colony 
by the arrest of one Goggles, a chauffeur in charge of a 
party of tourists who had been motoring through New 
England. 

The arrest was made in connection with the mysterious 
disappearance of Mr. Schuyler Van Rensselaer^ a resident 
of this village. 

It will be recalled by our residents, that Mr. Van 
Rensselaer left Lenox suddenly, some time ago, in 
response to an urgent telegram from New York signed 
Drysdale. It was reported at the time that the real cause 
of his departure was in connection with the famous Kitty 
Belle mines, in Mexico, in which the Van Rensselaers are 
heavily interested. 



222 MR. GOGGLES 



As no word from young Mr. Van Rensselaer has 
reached the family for some time they naturally became 
anxious and started an investigation. 

Judge of their dismay when they learned that all let- 
tersy tel^^rams, cables, etc., sent to the Waldorf, where he 
was last seen, were forwarded to various places in New 
England, where it is needless to say Mr. Van Rens- 
selaer never was. 

Swift upon the heels of this startling discovery came 
the information that a Lord Drysdale, a friend of his, 
and whom he presumably had gone to New York to meet, 
had also disappeared from view! 

The situation now assumed a most serious aspect and 
the feelings of the family may better be imagined than 
described. 

Considerable difficulty was encountered by the failure 
of the hotel pec^le to co-operate with the authorities. 
They treated the whole matter as a joke, and positively 
refused to answer any questions, claiming that guests in 
their house had the same privacy as if they were in their 
own homes. 

Matters remained in this condition until an item bear- 
ing upon the case a4>peared last Monday (exclusively) in 
the Daily Orb. 

This fell under the watchful eye of Mr. Josiah Chubb, 
whose father is the well-known Coal Baron. 

He called at headquarters and detailed a strange ex- 
perience he had with a chauffeur during a recent trip to 
New England. They were stopping at a place on the 
North Shore. An accident detained him from a dinner 
engagement, and to his unspeakable disgust he found one 
of the ladies of the party dining with the chauffeur. 

The bearing of the chauffeur was so natural, that for 










"^Ne/ 



MR. GOGGLES 223 



the moment Mr. Chubb was thrown off his guard. In 
the character of gentleman he was apparently letter per- 
fect in his role. 

An incident occurred at the conclusion of the dinner, 
however, which the authorities think will have a great 
bearing on the great Van Rensselaer-Drysdale mystery. 

The chauffeur had the effrontery to offer his cigarette 
case to Mr. Chubb. Although Mr. Chubb was about to 
resent this piece of impertinence, he concealed his an- 
noyance as he saw at once that the case was of rare de- 
sign and excq>tionally costly. In the middle of the case 
were some initials and a coat-pf-arms. 

As near as Mr. Chubb could recollect, the party must 
be somewhere in the Berkshire Hills. 

Detective Keller from headquarters was immediately 
despatdied to that locality, and after tracing them 
through a number of towns finally came up to them at 
Lenox. 

Upon being requested to accompany the officer to New 
York, Mr. Goggles — that is the name of the chauffeur — 
was visibly perturbed. He b^ged piteously to be al- 
lowed to make some such arrangements as would insure 
the safety and comfort of the party in his charge, till 
such time as hb company could provide a substitute 
driver. 

Mr. Chubb described him as a man of unusual ability, 
with all the airs and graces of a Chesterfield. That he 
is a criminal of more than ordinary cunning is best proven 
by the fact that he induced the detective to accede to his 
wishes, obtained sufficient time to assure the ladies of his 
party that it was all a horrible mistake which would be 
duly rectified. 

One of the party, Miss Helen Winthrop, daughter of 



224 MR. GOGGLES 



Mr. John Winthrop, the great Totacco magnate, was 
plainly distressed at the turn events have taken. Mr. 
Chubb says that the attentions of this chauffeur to this 
wdl known heiress were very marked. ''It became so 
apparent/' remarked this gentleman, ''that I wzs in duty 
bound to put a stop to the ridiculous affair." 

Nevertheless, the young woman in question sent some 
urgent cables to Nantucket in an attempt to reach by 
wireless some incoming steamship. 

She also announced her determinati<Mi to abandon the 
trip at once and return to New York by the White 
Mountain Express which leaves here this afternoon. 

The other members of the party, especially one elderly 
lady, are dumfounded at the arrest of G<^;gles. Aunt 
Fanny, as she is called, has also decided to acomqiany 
her niece to New York. 

The young man, doubtless, has need of all the friends 
he can get in this terrible situation. He is utterly unaUe 
to produce any evidence to account for the possessicm of 
some letters addressed to Van Rensselaer which were 
found amcMig his effects. Nor can any trace either of 
Van Rensselaer or Drysdale be found. 

The police argue, and rightly, too, that if either of 
these gentlemen were alive they would show themselves 
at this critical juncture of affairs. The appearance of 
Van Rensselaer alone would undoubtedly save the neck 
<^ Goggles, as he is not yet diarged with the disappear- 
ance of Drysdale. And a few weeks' delay is all-im- 
portant in a case of this kind. 

Further particulars, with photographs of the principals 
and scenes in the now celebrated Tour Throv^ New 
England will appear in the Special News Section of the 
Stmday edition of the Orb. 



MR. GOGGLES 2^5 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

My dear Ygung Christian Friend: 

This is a voice from the Tombs. 

Yes. 

I've finally been arrested. 

Give my love to Edith. 

I would cheerfully sink that gunboat and leave you 
both marooned where you are. Only I dare not 

The Judge told me that if I was so positive that you 
were alive all I need do was to produce you. That would 
end the whole matter, as I was not implicated in the 
Drysdale affair at all. 

I thanked him and said I could only ask him to take my 
word for it for a few weeks. At the end of that time 
if I failed, I would save the State the expense of a trial 
and plead guilty. 

Will you therefore kindly explain my sorry plight to 
Edith, and say that I would greatly appreciate it if she 
would resume her journey and allow you to forsake the 
primrose path of dalliance and return to home, and duty? 

When the news of my arrest leaked out in the village. 
Miss Winthrop was temporarily absent Upon her re- 
turn she at once summoned the detective. I lived a 
thousand years while that wretch was gone. 

"What did she say? How did she act?" I demanded 
the moment he returned. 

As near as I could make out she was simply stunned 
with horror at first Poor Aunt Fanny was completely 
prostrated. 

As the detective proceeded in his narration he came to 
the name of Chubb. 

In an instant, he told me, her whole demeanor changed. 



2j6 MR. goggles 



"Chubb» did you say— Chubb? Is he the man who is at 
the bottom of all this trouble? " 

"Yes, ma'am," meekly answered the minion of the law. 

He told me afterwards he never was so completely 
taken back in his life. In a moment, her deep dejection 
vanished, and she was quivering with anger. 

"There, Aunt Fanny, I knew it. If s nothing but a 
contemptible, dirty trick. That young man is poor, alone, 
and friendless. A stranger in a strange land.'' 

Van, I hated you when I heard that What a disgrace- 
ful dog you are to lead me into such a role of deceit and 
dishonor. Oh ! How can I ever forgive you ! 

Well, there was more talk in the same strain, but as it 
hurts my conscience to even think about it, I shall for- 
bear its recital. 

But she isn't only a fair-weather friend. I saw her for 
just a moment, and before everyone she came up and said : 

"Upon your word of honor as a gentleman, guilty or 
not guilty?" 

"Upon my word of honor, as a gentleman," I slowly 
repeated, looking straight into her eyes, "Not guilty I" 

"Then," she said, holding out her haad with all her old- 
time cordiality, "let slip the dogs of war ; there's one good 
fighter in the family already. Who knows but there may 
be two?" 

And so I left her. 

The detective said they would follow on the next train. 

I feel very happy tonight. Just one or two more days 
of this experience and I shall know beyond peradventure 
whether her 'art is true to Goggles or not 

That's worth everything that can possibly happen. 

What a pity that there are not enough Helens to go 
around. Van. 



MR. GOGGLES 327 



Edith, I suppose, is well enough in her way, but I 
really wish my old friend could be fortunate enough to 
meet another Helen. 

Yours in ecstasy, Drysdale. 



[Wireless Telegram from Helen to her Father.] 

Mr. John Winthrop, Passenger Steamer Deutschland, 

via Nantucket : 

Please save your very first hour on land for me. Need 
your advice and counsel very, very much. Will meet you 
with tug. 

Helen. 



[Letter from Helen to Goggles.] 

Dear Mr. Goggles: 

We arrived yesterday afternoon from Lenox, feeling 
certain that we had made no mistake in you. 

I tried to reach father by Wireless yesterday. His 
steamer ought to be near Nantucket this morning. He 
is due tomorrow. 

I think it will do no harm to enlist his counsel and in- 
fluence. I haven't spoken much to you of him, but 
he is really a man of some consequence in this town, 
though no one would ever know it. He is not fond of the 
limelight, and so you don't hear so much of him as you 
might. 

But I will have him call and see you. I firmly be- 
lieve in your innocence, and do not intend to leave you 
to fight it out alone if I can help it. 

We all need friends, at times. If you have deceived 
me in any way, now is the time to speak. I am honest in 



jj8 MR. GOGGLES 



my determination to help you. I have accepted your 
word of honor in the Van Rensselaer matter so that need 
no longer be discussed. But is there any other white lie. 
Reincarnation, or anything else, that you have not been 
frank about and that would cause me distress if I 
knew it? 

I want to know that I am fighting for a man who al- 
ways impressed me as incapable of a dishonest action. 

What does he say? 

Yours truly, Helen Winthrop. 



[Letter from Goggles to Miss Winthrop.] 

My dear Miss Winthrop: 

It is certainly very kind of you to write me such a re- 
assuring letter as yours of yesterday. 

I am more than obliged to you for your kind offers 
of assistance. But in an unsavory incident of this na- 
ture, do you think it wise to become identified with it? 

My judgment would be to let everything rest tmtil the 
arrival of your father which may now be hourly expected. 

It is quite possible that he may recall having met me 
in Paris. I believe I mentioned tiiis incident before. 

I do not now remember any act of deceit on my part 
which would cause you any uneasiness. I have not, how- 
ever, like Othello, told you the whole story of my life. 
There are some ghastly details. 

As you are very earnest on this point, I do not feel as 
if I could answer it except as I have above. Suppose 
you withdraw it till I have seen your father? I promise 
you then an answer satisfactory to the utmost limit. 

With many thanks for your kind interest, I am. 

Sincerely yours, Arthur Goggles. 



MR. GOGGLES 2J9 



[Letter from Drysdale to Van.] 

Dear Van: 

Richard's himself again! 

Yes. Honorably discharged and all that sort of thing, 
you know. Many abject s^lc^es on the part of Head- 
quarters and a general objuration by everybody , of Chubb. 

And you, my dear friend, the cause of all this misery — 
you go scot free. 

Is there such a thing as justice in this world? 

Well, I suppose you'd like to know all about it. You 
don't deserve it, but I'll tell you. 

Helen's father arrived in the afternoon. He had al- 
ready been notified by wireless that his presence was 
urgently needed. 

Upon learning the particulars from Helen he called vtp 
his legal department. He keeps a whole department for 
his own use. 

Great heads in that legal dq>artment, Van. No use 
talking, it's certainly a great company. They got me 
clear of the meshes of the law in no time. 

But, let me tell you from the beginning. 

I met the Governor, as I told you, in Paris, when he 
was over there trjring to buy the Government Monopoly 
of Tobacco. I h24>pened to know scnne people whom he 
found it necessary to meet, and was able to he^ him a 
bit. 

Perhaps that's not right, exactly. I don't believe any- 
body could help him. But, however, that's not the point 
He seemed to think I did, which is the same thing. 

I concluded to make what use I could of that fortunate 
meeting. I carefully arranged that no one but he should 
be admitted at our first interview. 



230 MR. GOGGLES 



The rest was not difficult 

I told him frankly just what an unmitigated ass you 
were^ and how your infatuation for a petticoat had got us 
all into this trouble. 

He was awfully disgusted with you, Van. I'd hate to 
repeat all the mean things he said, but you deserved them 
all and more. 

That was before I told him how I had gqne to New 
England with his daughter's party. 

"You don't mean to tell me that you adopted this ruse 
for fear my girl would fall in love with the title instead 
of the man, do you?" 

"Not that way exactly, sir," I stammered. "She could 
have her pick, any time, in England. But I wanted to 
be chosen for myielf — for my winsome manaers, my 
fatal gift of beauty and other unapproachable accom- 
plishments," I added, trying hard to laugh. 

"How did you come out?" he asked. 

"Well — ^you're here, for one thing." 

"I see. I suppose the first thing to do is to get you 
out of this place. Then we'll go up to the house and talk 
things over. Helen know anything about this Lordship 
business yet?" 

"No, sir; I think not" 

"Well, you better let things be as they are for the 
present. I'd like to have a talk with Helen myself before 
anything more is done." 

"The legal department will see that you get out of here 
soon. When you do, come up to the house. Ill go there 
now with Helen. Here's the address." 

The rest of the story I gleaned from Helen. 

"Well, what do you think of Goggles?" she asked as 
soon as their big car edged itself clear of the curb. 



MR. GOGGLES 231 



"All right." 

The governor isn't much of a talker. 

Silence for a block. 

Then, like a shot out of a gun. 

"Helen, are you much interested in this young man?" 

"Well — er — er — ^that is — ^no — ^yes — I don't know." 

"Yes, you do. Else why all this fuss about him? Any- 
how, I've asked him. up to dinner tonight. We'll both 
look him over." 

Now, I'm not going to tell you any more. Helen agreed 
with me perfectly that you are an unspeakable wretch for 
compelling me to deceive her so long. She never thought 
that of you. Was horribly shocked, etc., etc. 

We had so much to talk about that evening — our re- 
cent travels, reincarnation, etc., that we soon forgot the 
author of all our misery. 

I do wish, however, that we could hear from you. 

Yours, 

Drysdale. 



[Telegram from Van to Drysdale.'] 

Galveston, Texas. 
Edith's yacht turned up unexpectedly. Coming up 
fast as I can. Reach New York about three, four weeks. 
Guess you can hold out all right. She g^ows more 
charming every day. 

Van. 



[From the New York Herald.] 

WINTHROP— DRYSDALE.— On Monday, at 
the residence of the bride's father. Lord Arthur 
Prescott Drysdale to Helen, iroimgest daughter of 
John Winthrop. London pai>er8 please copy. 

Mercantile Library, 

NEW YORK, 






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