Niels Klim's journey under the ground; being a narrative of his wonderful descent to the subterranean lands; together with an account of the sensible animals and trees inhabiting the planet Nazar and the firmament

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NIELS KLDPS NARRATIVE.

NIELS KLIM'S

JOURNEY UNDER THE GROUND;

BEING A

NARRATIVE OF HIS WONDERFUL DESCENT TO THE SUBTER-
RANEAN LANDS ; TOGETHER WITH AN ACCOUNT OF THE
SENSIBLE ANIMALS AND TREES INHABITING THE

PLANET NAZAR AND THE FIRMAMENT.

BY LOUIS HOLBERG.

TRANSLATED FROM THE DANISH BY

JOHN GIERLOW.

WITH A SKETCH OF THE AUTHOR'S LIFE.

BOSTON :

PUBLISHED BY SAXTON, PEIRCE & CO.

NEW YORK:
SAXTON & MILES.

1845.

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1844,

BY SAXTON, PEIRCE AND CO.
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of Massachusetts.

BCTTTS, PRINTER,
SCHOOL CIBSXT.

LIST OF PLATES.

NIELS KLIM'S DESCENT TO THE PLANET NAZAR, . . 1

A CRIMINAL LED BY THREE WATCHMEN, .... 23

PRESENTATION OF NIELS KLIM AT THE COURT OF POTU, 29

A CITIZEN OF POTU LED IN TRIUMPH, 41

THE JUDGMENT OF A KING'S CHARACTER, PRONOUNCED

BY A POTUAN COUNCIL, 48

A NEW FASHION INTRODUCED INTO MARTINIA, ... 99

420794

INTRODUCTION,

LEWIS HOLBERG, the author of the Narrative
of Niels Klim, was the most eminent writer
among the Danes in the eighteenth century.
His works show a surprising versatility of genius,
comprising Histories and Treatises on Jurispru-
dence, together with Satires and Comedies. He
was by birth a Norwegian, but was educated
at the University at Copenhagen in Denmark.
Soon after receiving a theological degree from
that Institution, he visited Holland and England,
and resided about two years at Oxford. Shortly
after his return he published an " Introduction
to European History," and an " Appendix to the

Vlll INTRODUCTION,

Universal History," in which he gives an account
of contemporaneous affairs in the principal gov-
ernments of the world. His historical labors
were interrupted by a royal appointment to a
professorship in the University. This office he
enjoyed for five years, and then went abroad.
In his Autobiography he has given an interest-
ing account of his travels, both at this time and
subsequently, and has described men and man-
ners in a way highly entertaining, and generally
just. He visited most of the cities of Southern
Europe, abiding some time in each. He was
well received by men of letters, and made many
valuable acquaintance, wherever he went. After
remaining one whole winter at Rome, and ac-
complishing the object of his mission, he returned
to Copenhagen. His income was now small, and
for two years he was oppressed with great pecu-
niary difficulties. It was during this period that
he published in the Danish language, his " Intro-
duction to the Law of Nature and of Nations."
In this treatise, Holberg aimed rather to apply
the principles of Natural Law to the Laws and
Constitutions of Norway and Denmark, than
elaborately to discuss the principles themselves.

INTRODUCTION. IX

The work was coldly received at its first ap-
pearance, but, after ten or twelve years began to
excite public attention, and passed through sev-
eral editions.

At length, the professorship of metaphysics
becoming vacant, he received the appointment.
The emoluments of this office, though small,
supplied his necessities, and, not long after, on
obtaining a more lucrative station in the Univer-
sity, he was relieved from his embarrassments.

Hitherto, he had devoted himself almost
exclusively to Jurisprudence, History and Lan-
guages, and had never tried his hand at poetical
composition. Indeed, he had ever felt a strange
aversion to the study of poetry, and, although
he had read the Latin Poets, and composed La-
tin Poems, it was more for the sake of pro-
ficiency in the language, than for pleasure, or,
in his own words, "as a sick man swallows
bitter draughts, not because they are grateful to
the palate, but, because they are recommended
by the physicians."

He now, however, seemed inspired by a new
ambition, and set himself to imitate one of
Juvenal's Satires. Encouraged by his unexpect-

INTRODUCTION.

ed facility, he projected and composed an orig-
inal poem. Its success, when published; sur-
passed that of any work previously written in
the Danish language. Judicious critics hear-
tily commended it, and some even looked upon
it as introducing a new era in thev national litera-
ture. It was also published in Sweden and Ger-
many, and raised the author's reputation abroad.
He next published five more Satires, prefixing
to each a short preface, unfolding the writer's
design. His poetical productions were a source
of more honor than gain, and, becoming weary
of almost profitless pursuits, he abandoned
poetry, and devoted himself to his former
studies.

Nevertheless, the solicitations of friends pre-
vailed upon him to turn his attention to Dramatic
composition. Here he was equally successful.
His comedies were received with great applause,
and still hold possession of the stage. Like his
Satires, they were intended to expose fashion-
able vice and folly. They are twenty-five in
number. The names of several will give some
notion of their general character — The Bab-
bling Barber ; Always Busy and Doing Noth-

INTRODUCTION. XI

ing ; The Treacherous Step-father ; The Polit-
ical Tinman.

His health being impaired by unintermitted
literary labor, he determined to seek relief from
the baths of Aix-la-Chapelle. He did not derive
from them the benefit he anticipated, but, after
spending the winter in Paris, returned home with
renewed health and spirits. His next publica-
tion, was a Satirical Poem, entitled " Metamor-
phosis," in which brutes and trees are trans-
formed into men. This was the last of his poet-
ical efforts.

For several years he had been engaged in pre-
paring "A General Ecclesiastical History from
the origin of Christianity to the Reformation of
Luther" which he now published. This pro-
duction, the author affirms, was written with
perfect impartiality. He sometimes censured
the Fathers, praised heretics, when they de-
served it, and occasionally even commended the
Popes. It was extremely popular, though all
were not pleased with its liberal spirit. A Com-
parative Biography of Asiatic and Indian He-
roes, after Plutarch's style j A short Historical
Account of his Native Town ; The Narrative of

INTRODUCTION.

Niels Klim; His Autobiography ; and a His-
tory of the Jewish Nation, digested from the
works of Josephus, Prideaux, and Basnage, close
the list of his works.

" The Journey to the World under ground"
or " Narrative of Niels Klim" had been
written for a long time, but he had refrained
from printing it from an unwillingness to pro-
voke enmity. But the importunity of friends,
and the generous offer of a bookseller finally
prevailed, and he put it into the printer's hands.
The following account of this performance is
abridged from his autobiography.

There are many persons of both sexes in my
country, who believe in fairies and supernatural
beings, and who are ready to swear, that they
have been conveyed by spirits to hills and
mountain caves. This superstition is ridiculed
in Klim, the hero of the tale. He is supposed
to be transported to the world under ground,
where he meets with some surprising adventures.
Many strange creatures inhabit this new world ;
trees, for instance, are introduced, endowed with
speech, and musical instruments discuss ques-
tions of philosophy and finance. Amongst the

INTRODUCTION.

characters, those geniuses, who perceive every-
thing at a glance, but penetrate nothing, are
conspicuous. People of quick perception, whom
we use to admire, are despised by the Potuans,
who look upon them as idle loungers, that,
though always moving, make no progress.
Prudent men, on the contrary, who measure
their own strength, and advance cautiously, are
greatly esteemed by that nation, though with us
they pass for fools or cowards. The Potuans
and Martinians are examples of both these
extremes. By the former Klim was considered
a blockhead, on account of the quickness of his
perceptions ; by the latter he was equally despised
for the slowness of his apprehension. To Klim,
who measures virtues and vices by the ordinary
standard, everything is a paradox ; but what he
at first condemns, he admires and extols aftet
deliberation ; so that the object of the whole
work is to correct popular errors, and to distin-
guish the semblance of virtue and vice from the
reality. Its subordinate design is to expose the
monstrous fictions, which some authors obtrude
upon us in their descriptions of remote coun-
tries.

XIV

INTRODUCTION.

" The Narrative of Niels Klim" though
written so many years ago, contains many sati-
rical hits, exceedingly applicable to the present
time ; thus showing that what appears to one age
to be a whim altogether new, may be, in fact,
only some old notion newly promulgated. Great-
er liberties were allowed at that period in litera-
ture than would now be permitted. Holberg's
humorous productions are not wholly free from
a fault, whose existence the taste of any age may
explain, but does not excuse.

After living in competency for many years in
Copenhagen, he was, in 1747, created a baron
by the king of Denmark. He died in 1754.

•*•-

APOLOGETIC PREFACE.

PETER KLIM AND ANDREAS KLIM, THE SONS OF THOMAS KLIM,

AND GRANDSONS OF KLIM THE GREAT, TO

THE KIND READER.

SINCE it has come to our ears that some persons
have doubted the truth of this story, and that, conse-
quently, the publisher of the subterranean voyage has
gotten, here and there, a bad reputation, we have, to
prevent all false accusations, held it advisable to pre-
fix to this new edition certificates from men whose
honesty and sincerity are raised above all distrust, and
whose evidence will secure the publisher against all
opposition. The first two of these witnesses we know
to have been contemporary with our hero; the rest
flourished at a period immediately subsequent ; and all
are generally known as people venerable in virtue and

XVI

t

APOLOGETIC PREFACE.

honesty, whose cool and sound judgments effectually
preclude the blandishments of cajolery, while their no-
ble candor and undeviating uprightness forbid the
sanction of their names to whatever is, in its nature,
deceitful or fictitious. With the testimony of such re-
spectable persons, we shall bind the tongues of all
false, prejudiced and sneering critics, and, before these
signatures, oblige them to acknowledge their folly and
take back their heedless accusations. The certificate
sent to my brother and myself reads thus :

" At the desire of the estimable and much respect-
ed young men, PETER KLIM and ANDREAS KLIM, we,
the undersigned, do certify, that among the books and
papers left by the celebrated NIELS KLIM, we have
seen a manuscript, with the title, ' Subterranean
Voyage.' To the same ' Voyage ' were added a sub-
terranean Grammar and Dictionary, in two languages,
namely, Danish and Quamitic. By comparing the cel-
ebrated Abelin's Latin translation with this old manu-
script, we find that the former does not, in the least
point, deviate from the hand-text. To its further con-
firmation we have hereby placed our seals.

ADRIAN PETERSON, MPP.

JENS THORLAKSEN, MPP.

SVEND KLAK, MPP.

JOKUM BRANDER, MPP. > #$i

JENS GAD, (for self and brother,) MPP.

HlERONYMOUS GlBS, (Scotch,) MPP."

APOLOGETIC PREFACE. Xvii

We hope by such distinguished and authentic testi-
mony to remove all doubt ; but should there be found
any stubborn enough to persist in their suspicions, in
spite of these certificates, we will anticipate their ob-
jections, and endeavor to subdue their incredulity with
other weapons.

It is a known fact, that in a section of Norway,
called Finnmark, exist people who have advanced so
far in the study and practice of natural witchcraft, (a
science into which other nations have scarcely looked,)
that they can excite and subdue storms; transform
themselves to wolves ; speak several, and in our world
entirely unknown, languages; and travel from the
north to the south pole in less time than one hour.
One of these Finns, by name Peyvis, came lately to
Bergen, and exhibited so many strange proofs of his
art and science, that all present deemed him worthy of
a doctor's hat : at the same time a fierce critic came
out with a review of the " Subterranean Travels,"
which he assumptively tagged to the long list of " old
women's stories ; " the honor of the Klims being thus
impugned, and his own by implication, Peyvis, through
our influence, obtained permission to collect materials
and prepare himself for a voyage under ground. He
commenced by publishing a card, wherein he exalted
his abilities in the following expressions :

XV111 APOLOGETIC PREFACE.

What will you 1 say !
From northern ice to southern land :
From eastern isles to western sand,
Spirits of earth, spirits of air ;
Spirits foul and spirits fair,

My power obey !

I break the rainbow's arched line ;
That herald of approaching calm.
Thunder I send by cold moonshine, —
Mine is the bane and mine the balm.
My beck upwhirls the hurricane :
The sun and moon and stars in vain
Their wonted course would keep ;
Honey from out the rock doth weep

When I command.

My potent wand,

Stretched on the mighty northern wave,
Or seas that farther India lave,
Subdues their mountain billows hoarse,
To inland brooklets' murmuring course.
What is on earth, what is in sea,
In air and fire, from Pey vis free ?'

Everybody shuddered from fear at hearing these in-
credible assumptions. The Finn immediately prepared
himself for the voyage, undressed, and, strange sight!
suddenly transformed to an eagle, raised himself in-
to the air and soon vanished. After a full month's
absence, our wonderful doctor, early on a morning,

APOLOGETIC PREFACE.

XIX

re-appeared, entirely exhausted, his forehead stream-
ing with sweat. When sufficiently recovered from his
fatigue, he commenced a description of his adventures
on his air passage and in the subterranean lands. He
told us that on his arrival below, war was raging be-
tween the established government and the opposition,
in which the party of Klim got the ascendancy, and
reinstated the son of our Niels on the throne; our
kinsman had for a long time borne the sceptre, under
the administration of his mother ; but now, old and
glorified for many great feats, reigned alone over the
whole subterranean world, with the name of Niels the
Second.

Now, take shame to yourselves, ye incredulous
mortals ! and learn hereafter, in important matters,
to proceed with more caution. Be ashamed, ye scof-
fers! and ask pardon for your unfounded accusa-
tions, your atrocious sneers. Stand abashed, finally,
ye hyper-critics! and know that the learned world
shall no longer suffer from your audacious and unrea-
sonable judgments ; then silence your stunted progeny
at their birth, or if you will, yourselves !

-•*•

CHAPTER I.

THE AUTHOR'S DESCENT TO THE ABYSS.

•*••

IN the year 1664, after graduating at the Aca-
demy of Copenhagen, in Theology and Philoso-
phy, I prepared to return to my father-land, and
took passage in a ship bound for the city of Ber-
gen, in Norway. I had been furnished with bril-
liant testimonials from both faculties, and wanted
only money ; — a fate common to Norwegian
students, who generally return home with empty
purses from the Temple of the Muses.

We had a good wind, and in three days arrived
at my native town, Bergen.
1

2 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

I occupied myself now, in expanding my
knowledge of natural philosophy, and for prac-
tice, geologically examined the neighboring
mountains. On the top of the most interesting
of these mountains, (interesting I mean to a stu-
dent,) was a remarkable cave, which the inhabi-
tants of the town called Florien. From its
mouth, a mild and not unpleasant air issues at
certain periods, as though the cave inhaled the
breeze and gently sighed it forth again.

The learned in Bergen, especially the cele-
brated Abelin and Edward, had longed to exam-
ine it; but these latter, from their great age,
being unable to perform so arduous a feat, used
every occasion to induce the young and adven-
turous to attempt the exploration. Instigated,
(and it was a foolish, and I might say, a wicked
resolution,) instigated, I say, not less by the en-
couragement of these great men than by my own
inclination, I determined to descend into the
cave. The longer I thought of the matter, the
firmer I became. I prepared every thing needful
for the expedition, and on a Thursday, at the
morning twilight, departed from the city. I
started thus early, because I desired to finish my

NAEKATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

labors before dark, and make a report the same
evening.

How little did I then dream that like another
Phaeton, I should be driven headlong through
the air and precipitated to another globe, there to
ramble for the space of ten years, before I should
see my friends and native land again. The ex-
pedition took place in the year 1665. Accom-
panied by four men to carry the necessary im-
plements, and assist in letting me down, I as-
cended the mountain. v Arrived at the top, near
the fatal cave, we sat down to breakfast. Now,
for the first time, my heart began to faint, -as
though it foreboded my coming misfortune ; but,
in a moment, my half extinguished courage
blazed again. I fixed a rope around my body,
stood on the edge of the cave, and commended
my soul to God. Ordering the men to veer the
rope steadily, and to hold when I cried out, I
took a boat-hook in my right hand, and glided
into the abyss. Aided by the pole, I was ena-
bled to keep clear of the jutting points of rock
that would have impeded my progress, as well
as have wounded me. I was somewhat anxious
about the rope, for it rubbed hard against the
•# - •*•

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

rocks at the top ; and, in fact, I had scarcely de-
scended twenty to thirty feet, when it gave way,
and I tumbled with strange quickness down the
abyss, armed like Pluto, with a boat-hook, how-
ever, in place of a sceptre.

Enveloped by thick darkness, I had been fall-
ing about a quarter of an hour, when I observed
a faint light, and soon after a clear and bright-
shining heaven. I thought, in my agitation,
that some counter current of air had blown me
back to earth. The sun, moon and stars, ap-
peared so much smaller here than to people on
the surface, that I was at a loss with regard to
my where-a-bout.

I concluded that I must have died, and that
my spirit was now about to be carried to the
blessed dwellings. I immediately conceived the
folly of this conclusion, however, when I found
myself armed with a boat-hook, and dragging be-
hind me a long strip of rope ; well knowing that
neither of these were needful to land me in Para-
dise, and that the celestial citizens would scarcely
approve of these accessories, with which I appear-
ed, in the manner of the giants of old, likely to
attack heaven and eject the gods therefrom.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

Finally, a new light glimmered in my brain.
I must have got into the subterranean firmament.
This conclusion decided the opinion of those,
who insist that the earth is hollow, and that
within its shell there is another, lesser world,
with corresponding suns, planets, stars, &c., to
be well-grounded. The result proved that I
guessed right.

The rapidity of my descent, continually aug-
mented for a long time, now began to decrease
gradually. I was approaching a planet which I
had from the first seen directly before me. By
degrees it grew larger and larger, when, penetra-
ting the thick atmosphere which surrounded it,
I plainly saw seas, mountains and dales on its
surface.

As the bold bird, between the billow's top
And mountain's summit, sweeps around
The muscle-clothed rock, and with light wing
Sports on the foam, my body hovered.

I found now that I did not hang in the atmo-
sphere, buoyed up by the strong current of which
I have spoken, but that the perpendicular line of
my descent was changed to a circle. I will not

deny that my hair rose up on my head in fear,
l*

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

I knew not but that I might be metamorphosed
to a planet or to a satellite ; to be turned around
in an eternal whirl. Yet my courage returned,
as I became somewhat accustomed to the mo-
tion. The wind was gentle and refreshing.
I was but little hungry or thirsty ; but recollect-
ing there was a small cake in my pocket, I took
it out and tasted it. The first mouthful, how-
ever, was disagreeable, and I threw it from me.
The cake not only remained in the air, but to
my great astonishment, began to circle about me.
I obtained at this time a knowledge of the true
law of motion, which is, that all bodies, when
well balanced, must move in a circle.

I remained in the orbit in which I was at first
thrown three days. As I continually moved
about the planet nearest to me, I could easily
distinguish between night and day ; for I could
see the subterranean sun ascend and descend —
the night, however, did not bring with it dark-
ness as it does with us. I observed, that on the
descent of the sun, the whole heavens became
illuminated with a peculiar and very bright light.
This, I ascribed to the reflection of the sun from
the internal arch of the earth.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M.

But just as I began to fancy myself in the
near presence of the immortal gods, about to
become myself a new heavenly light and won-
dered at as a brilliant star — behold ! a horrible,
winged monster appeared, who seemed to threaten
me with instant destruction. When I saw this
object in the distance I supposed it to be one of
the celestial signs, but when it came near I per-
ceived it to be an enormous eagle, which fol-
lowed in my wake as if about to pounce upon
me. I observed that this creature noticed me
particularly, but could not determine whether
as a friend or enemy.

Had I reflected, I should not have wondered
that a human being, swinging round in the air,
with a boat-hook in his hand, and a long rope
dragging behind him, like a tail, should attract
the attention of even a brute creature.

My uncommon figure gave, as I afterwards
understood, occasion for strange reports to the
inhabitants on my side of the planet.

.The astronomers regarded me as a comet,
with a very long tail. The superstitious thought
my appearance to be significant of some coming
misfortune. Some draughtsmen took my figure,

8 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

as far as they could descry it, so that when I
landed I found paintings of myself, and engrav-
ings taken from them, and hawked about.

But to return ; the eagle flew towards me and
attacked me with his wings very furiously. I
defended myself as well as I could with my
boat-hook, and even vigorously, considering my
unstable situation. At last, when he attempted
to grapple with me, I thrust the hook in be-
tween his wings so firmly that I could not extri-
cate it.

The wounded monster fell, with a terrible
cry, to the globe beneath ; and holding the hook,
I, well tired of my pendant attitude, was dragged
to the planet.

At first my descent was violent, but the in-
creasing thickness of the atmosphere as I ap-
proached the planet, made me sink with an easy
and soft fall to the earth. Immediately on
touching it the eagle died of its wounds.

It was now night : or rather the sun was
down, for it was not dark. I could see clearly
to read the papers I had in my pocket.

The light, as I have already said, comes from
the firmament or internal shell of our earth, half

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

9

of it being brightened at one time like our moon.
The only difference between night and day is
that the absence of the sun makes the weather a
little colder.

CHAPTER II.

THE AUTHOR'S ARRIVAL AT THE PLANET NAZAB.

MY voyage through the air was now ended.
I lay for a long time entirely immovable, await-
ing my fate with the approach of day. I now
observed that the wants and weaknesses of
humanity, which, during my passage had ceased,
now returned. I was both sleepy and hungry.
Fatigued in mind and body I fell into a deep
slumber. I had slept, as far as I could judge,
about two hours, when a terrible roar, which
had previously disturbed my slumbers, suddenly
waked me. I had dreamed some curious dreams ;

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 11

in one, I thought myself to be in Norway, at the
church in my native town, listening to the sing-
ing of our clerk, whose voice was really un-
pleasant from its roughness. My first impression
therefore, on recovering myself was, that this
man was indulging in an extraordinarily ambi-
tious strain. In fact, on opening my eyes, I
saw a huge bull within a few feet of me. At the
same moment, a vigorous roar from this animal
convinced me that I did not listen to church music.

It was now day-break, and the rising sun
began to gild the green oaks and fruitful fields,
which, spreading abroad in every direction,
astonished my recovered sense.

How much greater was my surprise when I
saw the trees, of which there were great num-
bers in my vieAV, move, although not a breeze
stirred.

The vicinity of the bull not being pleasing to
me, I arose and began to ascend a tree which
stood near. As I raised myself by its limbs, it
gave a low, yet shrill scream, and I got at the
same time a lively slap on my ear, which pro-
pelled me headlong to the ground. Here I lay
as if struck by lightning, about to give up my

12 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

spirit, when I heard around me a murmuring
noise, such as is heard on the Exchange when
the merchants are assembled.

I opened my eyes and saw many trees moving
about the field. Imagine my agitation, when
one of the trees swept towards me, bent one of
its branches, and, lifting me from the ground,
carried me off, in spite of my woful cries, fol-
lowed by an innumerable number of its compan-
ions of all kinds and sizes. From their trunks
issued certain articulated sounds, which were
entirely incomprehensible to me, and of which I
retained only the words : Pikel-JEmi, on account
of their being often repeated. I will here say,
these words mean an extraordinary monkey,
which creature they took me to be, from my
shape and dress. All this, of course, I learned
after being some months among them.

In my present condition, I was far from being
able to conceive of the nature of sensible, speak-
ing trees. In truth, so confounded was I, that
I forgot I could speak myself. As little could I
understand the meaning of the slow, solemn pro-
cession, and the confused murmurs which re-
sounded in the air.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 13

I fancied they were reproaching or expressing
their contempt of me. I was not far from the
truth : for the tree into which I had climbed to
escape from the bull, was no less than the wife
of the sheriff of the neighboring town, to which
they were now taking me a prisoner.

The buildings and streets of this town were
very handsome and extensive. The houses,
from their height, appeared like huge towers.
The streets were wide and filled with trees,
which swayed about and saluted each other by
lowering their branches.

The greater this declination, the more ex-
pressive was it of respect and esteem.

As we passed through a very wide street I
saw a tall oak approach a distinguished house,
when the trees which escorted me, stepped
gracefully back, and bent their branches to the
ground. I concluded this must be a more than
common personage. In fact, it was the sheriff
himself, the very dignitary, whose lady it was
insisted I had come too near. I was carried
to the hall of this officer's house, and the door
was locked upon me. Several trees armed with
axes kept guard over me. The axes were held

— ? *

•#• —

14 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

in the branches, which served the same purpose
as human hands. I noticed that high up in the
branches each wore a head, about the size of
my own, covered with leaves and tendrils instead
of hair. Below were two roots or legs, very
short.

These trees were much smaller than those on
our earth, in fact being about the height of a
man ; some indeed were much shorter ; but
these I concluded to be children.

While reflecting on the miserable situation in
which I found myself, and weeping over the ill-
luck of my adventure, my guards stepped up to
me and commanded me to follow them. They
led me to a splendid building in the middle of
the market-place.

At the door of this building stood Justice, cut
out in the form of a tree, holding among the
branches a pair of scales. I presumed the struc-
ture to be the court-house, nor was I deceived.
I was carried into a large room, the floor of
which was overlaid with glittering marble flags
of various colors.

At the upper end a golden chair was raised a
little above the floor, like a judge's seat ; in it

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 15

was seated a sedate palm tree, distinguished from
the rest by the gorgeousness of his leaves ; a lit-
tle below him were seated twelve assessors, six
on either side. About them stood twenty-four
officers holding axes. I was not a little terrified
when brought a prisoner before these magnates.

As I entered the hail, all the officers of the
court stood up, elevated their branches and
then sat down. After this ceremony I was
placed at the bar between two trees, the stems
of which were covered with sheep-skins. These
persons I supposed to be lawyers, and so they
were.

Before the trial commenced, the head of the
judge was wrapped up in a black blanket. The
accuser then made a short speech, which he
thrice repeated. The lawyer appointed to de-
fend me, replied in the same manner. A perfect
silence then ensued. In half an hour the su-
perior judge rose from the chair, removed the
blanket, raised the branches towards Heaven,
and spoke with much grace, what I supposed to
be my sentence. I was then carried back to
my prison.

While I mused on the strange things I had

16 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

witnessed, a tree came into my cell, with an
instrument resembling a lancet in his hand.
He stripped one of my arms, and made a punc-
ture in the median vein. When he had taken
from me as much blood as he deemed sufficient,
he bound up the wound with great dexterity.
He then examined my blood with much atten-
tion, and departed silently, with an expression of
wonder.

This circumstance by no means weakened the
opinion which I had for some time entertained,
that these people were shallow and foolish. But
my judgment proved to be too hasty. When
I was better enabled to judge of what passed
about me, by acquaintance with the subterra-
nean languages, my contempt was changed to
admiration.

I will now explain the ceremonies, which to
my ignorance seemed ridiculous.

From my figure it was concluded that I was
an inhabitant of the firmament. I was supposed
to have attempted to violate the person of a
chaste and virtuous lady, and for this crime I
had been taken to the court-house for trial.

The rising of the branches towards Heaven,

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

17

was a common ceremony of religion. The law-
yers were clothed in sheep-skin, to remind them
of the attributes of their calling — innocence,
faithfulness, and sedateness. The repetition of
their speeches was on account of the very slow
apprehension and cautious decision of the peo-
ple, by which peculiarities they were distinguish-
ed from all the inhabitants of the subterranean
world. But what most excited my curiosity was
the history of the supreme judge. This was a
virgin, a native of the town, and appointed by
the King to the office of Kaki, or judge, for her
superior virtue and talent. It must be observed
that this nation pay no regard to sex in appoint-
ments to office, but, after a strict examination,
elect those to take charge of affairs who are
proved to be the most worthy.

Seminaries are established throughout the
country, to teach the aspirants to public honors
the duties appertaining to the direction of gov-
ernment. The business of the administrators
of these colleges is to search closely into the
brains and hearts of the young students, and
when satisfied with their virtue and ability, to
give to the king a list of those fully prepared to

2*

18 NAHRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M.

fill the public offices. The administrators are
called Karatti.

The young virgin of whom I have spoken,
had received, four years before from the Karatti,
a certificate for remarkable attainments and vir-
tues, and had been invested with the " blanket."
This blanket was wrapped about her head during
my trial ; this precaution, however, is taken only
in trials such as mine, in which the occasional-
ly broad nature of the testimony might have a
painful effect upon the virgin judge, should her
face be exposed to the public gaze.

The name of this virgin was Palmka. She
had officiated for three years with the greatest
honor, and was considered the most learned tree
in the city.

She solved with so much discretion the knot-
tiest questions, that her decisions had come to
be regarded as oracles.

As Themis' self, with scales of equal weight,
She judged with candor both the small and great :
The sands of truth she, like the goddess, frees
From falsehood's glitter and from error's lees.

The following account was given to me' of
the blood-letting to which I had been subjected.

-*-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 19

When any one is proved to be guilty of a crime,
he is bled, for the purpose of detecting from the
color of the fluid, or blood, how far his guilt
was voluntary or otherwise ; whether he had
sinned through malice or distemper. Should
the fluid be found discolored, he is sent to the
hospital to be cured ; thus this process is rather
a correction than a punishment. A member of
the council, or any one high in office, would be
removed, should it be found necessary to bleed
him.

The reason why the surgeon, who performed
the operation on me, was astonished, was, on
account of the redness of my blood. The in-
habitants having a sort of white fluid in their
veins, the purity of which is proportional to
their innocence and excellence.

I was put at my ease when I observed that
the trees generally possessed a large share of
humanity. This was displayed in their little
attentions to me. Food was brought to me
t.wice a day. It consisted of fruit and several
kinds of beans ; my drink was a clear, sweet and
exceedingly delicious juice.

The sheriff, in whose house I was imprison-

20

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

ed, had immediately given notice to the King
that he had by accident got possession of a
somewhat sensible animal of an uncommon fig-
ure. The description of my person excited
the king's curiosity. Orders were given to
the sheriff, that I should be taught the lan-
guage of the country; on which I should be
sent to court. A teacher was appointed for me,
whose instruction enabled me in a half year to
speak very comprehensibly. After this prepara-
tory course of private study, I was sent to the
seminary, where particular care was taken both
of my mental and physical education. Indeed,
so enthusiastic were they to naturalize me, that
they actually fastened branches to my body to
make me look as much as possible like them-
selves.

i -

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

CHAPTER III.

DESCRIPTION OF THE TOM KEBA.

DURING the course of my education, my land-
lord frequently carried me about the town, and
pointed out the most remarkable things. Keba
is the town next in size and importance to the
capital of the kingdom of Potu. The inhabit-
ants are distinguished for their sedateness and
moderation ; old age is more respected by them
than by any other community. They are
strangely addicted to the pitting of animals
against each other; or, as they call it, "play
fight." I wondered that so moral a people could

22 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

enjoy these brutal sports. My landlord noticed
my surprise, and said, that throughout the king-
dom it was the custom to vary their lives with
a due mixture of earnest duties and amusing
pleasures. Theatrical plays are very much in
vogue with them. I was vexed, however, to
hear that disputations are reckoned suitable for
the stage, while with us they are confined to the
universities.

At certain times in the year, disputants are
set against each other, as we pit dogs and game
cocks. High bets are made in favor of one or
the other, and a premium is given to the win-
ner.

Beside these disputants, who are called Mas-
bakki, or boxers, various quadrupeds, wild as
well as tame, are trained to fight as on our globe.

In this town a gymnasium is established, in
which the liberal arts are taught with much suc-
cess.

My landlord carried me, on a high festival day,
to this academy. On this occasion a Madic, or
teacher in philosophy, was elected. The candi-
date made a very prosy speech on some philoso-
phical question, after which, without farther

v .

,;*

•*••

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 23

ceremony, he was entered, by the administra-
tors, on the list of the public teachers.

On our way home from the academy, we met
a criminal, led by three watchmen. By sen-
tence of the kaki, he had been bled, and was
now on his way to the city hospital. I inquir-
ed concerning his crime, and was answered, that
he had publicly lectured on the being and quali-
ties of God — a subject entirely forbidden in this
country. Disputants on these matters are re-
garded as insane, and are always sent to the
mad-house, where they are doctored, until they
recover their sound reason. I exclaimed : Heav-
en and Earth ! how would such laws operate on
our globe, where thousands of priests quarrel
every day about the divine attributes, the nature
of spirits, and other secrets of the same charac-
ter ? Truly, here they would all be sent straight-
way to the mad-house. These, among many
other singular customs, I observed during my
college life. Finally, the time came when,
furnished with appropriate testimonies from the
teachers, I was ordered to court. Here is my
certificate. How angry and confused, was I,
when I read it : —

24 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

"In accordance with your royal order, we
hereby send the animal, which sometime since
came down to us from the firmament ; which ani-
mal calls itself man. We have, with sedulous care
and patient industry, taught this singular creature
in our school, and after a very severe examination,
pronounce it to be very quick in its perceptions
and very docile in its manners. Nevertheless,
from its obtuse and miserable judgment — which
we believe arises from its too hasty inferences —
its ridiculous scepticism on unquestionable points,
and its no less ridiculous credulity on doubtful
ones, we may scarcely number it among sensi-
ble beings. However, as it is far quicker on its
legs than any of our race, we humbly suggest,
that it is very well adapted for the situation of a
running-camp-footman. Written at our Semi-
nary at Keba by your Highness' most humble
servants.

NEHEK, JOKTAN, RAPASI. KILAK."

•I returned sorrowfully to my landlord, and
begged of him with tears in my eyes, to use his
influence to alter the nature of my certificate
from the Karatti, and to show them my testimo-
ny from the academy of Copenhagen, in which
I was represented as a remarkable student. He
replied to me, " that this diploma might be well

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M. 25

enough in Copenhagen, where probably the
shadow was regarded more than the substance :
the bark more than the sap ; but here, where the
kernel was more important than aught else, it
was of no use."

He counselled me to bear my fate with pa-
tience, and assured me, in the politest manner,
of his friendship. Having nothing more to say,
I made ready, without delay, for the journey.
There travelled in company with me several
small trees, which had been educated with me
in the seminary, and were now destined to the
capital for preferment.

Our leader was an old Karatti, who rode on
an ox, because from his age he could not walk.
Our progress was very slow, so that three days
were occupied in our passage. We had a quick
and comfortable jaunt, if I except the meeting
with some wild monkeys, that would spring to-
wards me, and pester me now and then. They
evidently supposed me to be one of their race.
I could not suppress my anger, however, when
I observed that the trees seemed to perceive this
mistake of the monkeys, which gave the sap-
lings food for laughter at my expense. I must

-•*•

26

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

remark that I was carried to court in the same
dress which I wore on my descent to the planet,
with the boat-hook in my hand and the rope
dragging after me. This was by order of the
king, who wished to see me in my own bark.

CHAPTER IV.

THE ROYAL COURT OF POTU.

AT last, we entered the large and splendid cap-
ital of the kingdom of Potu.

We were first carried to a house, where all
students from the country seminaries are receiv-
ed, for the purpose of refreshment. Here we
prepared for an interview with the king. In the
mean time our Karatti, or leader went before to
announce us to the court. On his return, we
were all ordered to follow him. On our way to
court we met several small trees, with printed
stories in their branches. These were literary

28 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

hawkers. I accidentally fixed my eye upon the
title of one of these books. It was : " A true
account of an entirely new and wonderful me-
teor, or flying dragon, which was seen last year
in the heavens." I knew this was myself, and
therefore purchased the book, for which three
kilak — about two cents — were demanded. On
the title page I found an engraving of myself, as
I appeared while hovering over the planet, ac-
companied by boat-hook and rope. We now
approached the castle, an extensive series of bat-
tlements and buildings, more distinguished for
its strength and delicacy of finish than for splen-
dor. It presented to my view a very singular,
and, I may say rural, appearance, from the vast
number of trees on the walls.

It was now noon, and the dinner hour. The
king wishing to see me before he dined, I was
brought alone to the dining hall. The king
received me very graciously, uniting in a re-
markable degree, while addressing me, mildness
of tone with dignity of expression.

At my entrance into the hall, I knelt before
the throne : the king demanded the meaning of
the ceremony. Having told him the reason, he

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 29

remarked, that such worship was due only to
the Divinity. When I had raised myself, he
put to me several questions — demanding how I
had come down ? — the reason of my journey —
my name — where I came from, &c., all which
questions I answered truly. Finally, he inquired
concerning my religion, and was evidently
much pleased with our creed. I was ordered to
wait till dinner was over. At the table were
seated with the King, the Queen, Prince, and
Kadok, or great chancellor. At a certain sign,
a maiden tree entered, bearing in her eight
branches, as many dishes, which was the num-
ber daily served at the royal table. Another tree
entered with eight bottles, filled with as many
different juices. In the dinner conversation,
frequent mention was made of myself.

After dinner, the King ordered me to show
my testimony. After reading it, he looked at
my legs. " The Karatti are perfectly right ! "
said he ; "and their advice shall be followed."
A Kiva, or secretary, was now sent for, to enter
me, among others, in the royal register of pro-
motion. This Kiva was a tree of remarkable

external appearance; he had eleven branches —
3*

30 KARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

a singular number — and was able to write elev-
en letters at once. With this tree I afterwards
became very intimate ; he wrote all the letters
which I, as footman, carried about the country.
On receiving my appointment, I went to bed.
Although I was much fatigued, I could not get
any sleep for a long while. However, I fell, at
last, into an uneasy slumber, from which I was
suddenly roused by an uncommonly large mon-
key, which, on opening my eyes, I found playing
all manner of tricks with me, much to the amuse-
ment of several young trees, my companions.
The king laughed heartily over the jokes of the
monkeys, when they were related to him, but at
the same time, ordered me to be- clothed in the
subterranean manner ; that is, ornamented with
branches, as I had been at my first arrival below
ground. My European clothes were taken form
me and hung up in the museum, with the fol-
lowing description attached :

DRESS OF THE CREATURES ABOVE GROUND.

After my fright from the monkey, I got no
more sleep. In the morning I rose with the sun,
and went to receive my charge for the day. An

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 31

innumerable number of errands were given me
to perform, together with letters and documents
directed to all parts of the country.

This life I led four years ; during my rambles
I studied the character of the inhabitants, and
copied, as far as possible, their habits. The peo-
ple generally are distinguished for the politeness
of their manners, and the sensibleness of their
notions. The citizens of the town of Maholki,
only, are wanting in refinement and judgment ;
they are thorn trees ; very obstinate and crabbed
in disposition, and great gossips, withal ; let one
take you by the button and you cannot get away
easily.

Each province is peopled by its own race of
trees ; in the country each village has one sect ;
but the large cities contain a mixed population.

I had a good opportunity, as courier-general,
to observe the peculiarities of these people, and
I shall now describe their polity and religion,
their laws and sciences.

•*•

CHAPTER V.

THE KINGDOM OE POTU AND ITS INHABITANTS.

THE kingdom of Potu is enclosed within very
narrow boundaries, and occupies but a small
space of the inner globe.

The whole planet Nazar is scarcely six hun-
dred miles in circumference, and may be travelled
over its whole extent without guide or interpre-
ter, for there is but one language throughout.
As the Europeans on our globe take the first
rank among the nations, so are the Potuans dis-
tinguished among the nations of Nazar for their
virtue and understanding.

-•*•

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 33

The roads are dotted by stone pillars, which,
covered with inscriptions, denote every mile ;
affixed to them are hands pointing the road to
every city and village ; — splendid cities and
prosperous villages ! The country is intersected
by greater and lesser canals, on which boats pro-
pelled by oars, skim with wonderful celerity.
The oars are driven by self-moving machines, so
quietly that very little motion is given to the
water. The planet Nazar has the same motion
with the earth, and all the peculiarities of the
latter planet : night and day ; spring, summer,
autumn, and winter. The inhabitants consist of
oak, lime, poplar, thorn, and pine trees, from
which the months — there being six in each sub-
terranean year — take their names.

The chronology is peculiar, being fixed by
remarkable occurrences. Their oldest tradition
is, that three thousand years ago, a mighty comet
appeared, immediately after which followed a
flood, which swept off all the races of trees, ani-
mals, &c., with the exception of one or two of
each race, who saved themselves upon a high
mountain, and from whom descended the present
inhabitants. Corn and other grain with the

34 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

fruits common to Europe, grow here in great
profusion. The waters are filled with fish, and
upon the banks of the rivers are seated splendid
country houses. Their drink is prepared from
certain herbs, which bloom at all times of the
year.

In Potu is established a very useful law called
the "generation law."

This law varies the liberties and advantages
of the people according to the number of chil-
dren each one possesses. Thus, he who is the
father of six children is exempted from all com-
mon and extraordinary taxes. Therefore gene-
ration is quite as useful and desirable in this
country as on the earth it is burthensome and
dangerous : below ground never was such a thing
imagined as a small-pox-tax.

No one can hold two offices at once. It is
thought that each office, however small, requires
the sole attention of its occupant, and that none
should be employed in that which they do not
understand.

I remember to have heard the philosopher
Rakbasi speak thus : " Every one should know
his own talents, and should impartially judge of

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

35

his own merits and faults ; otherwise the actor
must be considered more sensible than natural
men ; for he chooses, not the best part, but that
which he can execute best. Shall we allow
the actor to be wiser on the stage than we in
life ? "

The inhabitants of this kingdom are not di-
vided into classes ; those alone being regarded
who are noted for virtue and industry. The
highest rank, if rank it may be called, is given
to those who possess the greatest number of
branches, they being enabled to do the most
work.

•*-

CHAPTER VI.

THE RELIGION OF THE POTUANS.

THE system of religion in Potu is very sim-
ple.

It is forbidden, under pain of banishment to
the firmament, to explain the holy books ; who-
ever dares to dispute the being and nature of the
Deity, is sent to the mad-house and is bled. It
is foolish, they say, to attempt to describe that
to which our senses are as blind as the eyes of
the owl in sunshine. All agree in worshiping
a superior being, whose omnipotence has crear
ted and whose providence maintains all things.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 37

Each one is permitted to think and worship as he
pleases ; they only who publicly attack the pre-
vailing religion, are punished as peace-disturbers.
The people pray seldom, but with so ardent a
devotion, that a looker-on would think them
enraptured during the continuance of the prayer.

I told them that it was our custom to pray and
sing psalms, while at our domestic duties. This
they blamed. " An earthly king," said they,
" would be angry should one who came to pe-
tition for something, brush his clothes and comb
his hair in the presence of his sovereign."

They have many curious notions of religion,
which they defend very artfully ; for example,
when I remarked to some of them whose friend-
ship I had gained, that they could not expect to
be blessed after death, since they walked in
darkness here, they answered : " He, who with
severity condemned others, was himself in dan-
ger of being condemned."

I once advised them to pray every day. They
did not deny the importance of prayer, but
thought true religion consisted in obeying the
will of God. " Suppose," continued they, " that

a king has two kinds of subjects : some err
4

38

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

every day, violating from ignorance or malice the
ruler's commands ; they come each day with peti-
tions and deprecations to the palace, beg pardon
for their faults, and depart only to recommit them.

" The others come seldom, and never volunta-
rily to court, but execute faithfully and diligent-
ly every of the king's commands, and thereby
evince the respect and loyalty due to him.

" Will not the king think these deserving of
his love, as good subjects and faithful ; but, on
the contrary, those as evil subjects, burthensome
as well for their misdeeds as for their frequent
petitions ? "

There are five festival days during the year.
The first of these, which takes place at the be-
ginning of the oak month, is solemnized with
great devotion, in dark places, where not a ray
of light is suffered to enter, signifying that the
being they worship is inconceivable. The fes-
tival is called the "inconceivable-God's-day."
The whole day, from sunrise to sunset, the peo-
ple remain immovable, engaged in earnest and
heart-felt prayer. In the four other festivals,
thanks to God for his blessings form the princi-
pal ceremonies.

CHAPTER VII.

THE POTUAN CONSTITUTION.

IN the kingdom of Potu the crown is inherited,
as with us, by the eldest son of the king, whose
power is absolute. The government, however,
is rather fatherly than tyrannical. Justice is not
meted and bounded by law alone, but is the re-
sult of principle, a principle of the widest philo-
sophic comprehension. Thus, monarchy and lib-
erty are closely united, which otherwise would
be inimical to each other. The ruler seeks to
maintain, as far as possible, an equality among
his subjects. Honors are not limited to any

40 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

class; but the poorer and more ignorant are called
upon to receive their opinions from and submit
to the decisions of the richer and more intelligent :
the young are to respect the aged.

The annals of Potu show that some centuries
ago, certain classes were highly favored by the
laws to the exclusion of the great body of the
people ; frequent disturbances had been the re-
sult of this favoritism, till a citizen of the town
Keba, proposed an alteration in the laws, by which
all distinctions of class were abolished, and while
the office of king should still remain hereditary,
all the other officers of government should be
subject to the will of the people, all of whom
should be allowed to vote, who could read and
write, at least, their names.

According to the custom of the subterraneans
in such affairs, this intelligent and patriotic citi-
zen was led to the market-place, with a rope
about his neck : his proposition was considered,
and after grave deliberation was adopted, as con-
ducive to the general interest.

The mover was then carried in triumph through
the city, honored by the grateful shouts of the
people.

UBRAril
ofTME

vnerrv ,OF

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

41

He, who has the most numerous offspring, is
regarded as the most deserving citizen ; he is
honored above all others, without exception.

Such men are looked upon as heroes, and their
memory is sainted by posterity. They only re-
ceive the name, which on the earth is awarded
to the disturbers and enemies of the race — the
name of — great !

It is very easy to conceive of the degree in
which Alexander and Julius Caesar would be
prized by this people ; both of whom not only
had no children themselves, but murdered mil-
lions of the offspring of others.

I remember to have read the following inscrip-
tion on the tomb of a Keban peasant :

" Here lies Jorktan the great, the hero of his
time, father of thirty children."

Among the court officers the Kadori, or grand-
chamberlain, is the superior. Next after him
comes the Smizian, or treasurer. In my time,
the seven-branched widow, Kahagna, filled the
latter place. She was a virtuous and industri-
ous woman ; although her duties were many and
important, she nursed her child herself. I re-
marked once, that I thought this to be trouble-

-•*

42 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

some and unfit for so great a lady. I was replied
to in this wise : " For what purpose has nature
given breasts to woman ? for the ornament of the
body alone, — or for the nourishment of their
children ? "

The crown prince was a child of six years ;
his governor was the wisest tree in the kingdom.
I have seen an abstract of moral philosophy and
policy, written by him for the use of the prince,
the title of which is Mahalda Libal Helit, which
in the subterranean language means, The Coun-
try's Rudder. It contains many fundamental
and useful precepts, of which I recollect the
following :

" 1st. Neither praise nor blame should be too
hastily credited ; judgment should be deferred
until accurate knowledge of the matter is ob-
tained.

" 2d. When a tree is accused of any crime, and
the accusation is supported, then the life of the
culprit must be examined, his good and evil ac-
tions must be compared, and judgment be given
according to the preponderance of either.

" 3d. The king must be accurately acquaint-

-*-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 43

ed with the opinions of his subjects, and must
strive to keep union among them.

" 4th. Punishment is not less necessary than
reward. The former restrains evil ; the latter
promotes good.

" 5th. Sound reason teaches that especial re-
gard should be had to the fitness of candidates
to public offices ; but, though piety and honesty
go to form the greatest merit, yet, as the appear-
ance of these virtues is often imposed on us for
the reality, no tree should be severely judged till
he gets into office, when he will show himself
what he is.

" 6th. To make a treasurer of a poor man, or
a bankrupt, is to make a hungry wolf purveyor
of the kitchen. The case of a rich miser is still
stronger; the bankrupt or the pennyless may
set bounds to their peculation ; the miser never
has enough.

" 7th. When the prevalence of vice renders a
reformation necessary, great care and deliberation
must be used ; to banish at once, and in a mass,
old and rooted faults, would be like prescribing
laxative and restringent medicines at the same
time to an invalid.

44

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

" 8th. They who boldly promise everything,
and take upon themselves many duties, are either
fools who know not their own powers or the
importance of affairs, or are mean and unjust
citizens who regard their own and not their
country's welfare."

CHAPTER VIII.

THE ACADEMIES OF POTU.

IN this kingdom are three academies ; one in
Potu, one in Keba, and one in Nahami.

The sciences taught in them are history, polit-
ical economy, mathematics, and jurisprudence.
Their theological creed is so short that it can be
written on two pages. It contains this doctrine
simply, that God, the creator of all things, shall
be loved and honored ; and that He will, in an
other life, reward us for our virtues and punish
us for our vices. Theology forms no part of an
academical course, as it is forbidden by law to

46 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

discuss these matters. Neither is medicine num-
bered among the studies ; for, as the trees live
moderately, there is no such thing as internal
disease.

The students ate employed in solving compli-
cated and difficult questions, and he who most
elegantly and clearly explains his question, is
entitled to a reward. No one studies more than
one science, and thus each gets a full knowledge
of his peculiar subject.

The teachers themselves are obliged to give,
each year, a proof of their learning. The teach-
ers of philosophy are required to solve some
problem in morals ; the historians, to elaborate
some passage in history ; the jurists, to elucidate
some intricate point of law ; these last are the
only professors expected to be good orators. I
told them that the study of rhetoric was com-
mon to all students in our colleges, and that all
studies were merged in it. They disapproved
of this, saying, that should all mechanics strive
to make a masterly shoe, the work of most would
be bad, and the shoemakers alone would win the
prize. ;.Vj ;'

Besides these academies, there are preparatory

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 47

gymnasiums, where great pains are taken to dis-
cover the bent of the young, that they may be
brought up in that science to which they are
best fitted. While I was at the seminary of Ke-
ba, the bishop had four sons there, preparing for
a military course ; four others, whose father was
a counsellor, were learning mechanical arts, and
two maidens were studying navigation. The
rank and sex of the scholars are entirely over-
looked, in their regard to fitness and pro-
priety.

He who challenges another to fight, loses for-
ever his right to use weapons, and is condemned
to live under guardianship, as one who cannot
curb his passions or temper his judgment. I
observed that the names of parties who go to
law, are kept secret from the judge, he not being
an inhabitant of the place where the trial is car-
ried on. The object of this singular law is to
prevent all partiality and bribery on the part of
the judge, by withholding from him all knowl-
edge of the influence or property of the liti-
gants.

Justice is executed without regard to persons.
The king, indeed, is not required to appear in

48 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

court, but after death, his memory is put to the
bar of public opinion, and his life is vindicated
or condemned through the peoples' advocates.
This trial takes place before the' Senate, and
judgment is freely pronounced according to the
weight of the evidence. A herald proclaims
the decision, which is inscribed on the king's
monument. The words used in these trials are :
Praiseworthy, — good, — not bad, — moderate,
— tolerable. Sentence must be pronounced by
one of these words.

The Potuans give the following reason for
this custom. The living king cannot be brought
to justice without causing rebellion. As long as
he lives, the people owe to him blind obedience
and constant reverence. But when the king is
dead, the bond between them is dissolved, and,
his memory belonging- to them, they are bound
to justify it as his virtues and vices principally
affected themselves.

The Potuanic annals show that for centuries
only one king has received the last degree of
judgment — tolerable — or, in their tongue : Rip-
fac-si. This was King Miklcta. Although the
Potuans are well versed in arms, and defend

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

49

themselves bravely, when attacked, they never
make war on others.

But this king excited by a miserable desire to
extend the borders of his empire, entered into an
offensive war with his neighbors, and subdued
many of them.

The Potuans gained, indeed, in power and
wealth, but they suffered more from the loss of
friendship and the increase of fear and envy in
the conquered. The honorable regard for justice
and equity, to which they had hitherto owed
their prosperity and supremacy, began from that
time to fade. On the death of Mikleta, howev-
er, the people recovered from their folly, and
showed their regret for it, while at the same
time they regained the good will of their neigh-
bors, by putting a blot upon the memory of their
ruler.

But, to return to myself. I took but little
pleasure in associating with my companions, a
set of absurd trees, who constantly ridiculed me
for my quick perception.

This quality, I have already said, I was blam-
ed for, very early in my career ; but by learned

trees, with grave and dignified complaisance.
5

50

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

These sapplings, on the contrary, pestered me
with silly nicknames. For example, they took
a malicious delight in calling me Skabba, which
means an untimely or unripe thing.

CHAPTER IX.

THE JOURNEY AROUND THE PLANET NAZAR.

I HAD now performed the toilsome duties of a
courier for two years, having been every where
with orders and letters. I was tired of this
troublesome and unbecoming business. I sent
to the king petition after petition, asking for
my discharge, and soliciting for a more honora-
ble appointment. But I was repeatedly refused,
for his majesty did not think my abilities would
warrant promotion. He condescended to refer
me to the laws and customs, which allowed
those only to be placed in respectable and im-

52 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

portant offices, who were fitted for them by
talent and virtue. It was necessary, he con-
tinued, that I should remain where I was, till I
could, by my merits, pave my way to distinction.
He concluded thus :

Study to know yourself, is wisdom's rule ;
The wise man reasons, — blunders, still, the fool.
Strive not with feeble powers great weights to move,
Before your shoulders long experience prove.

I was thus obliged to remain, as patiently as
I could, in my old service, amusing myself in
thinking how to bring my talents to the light.
In my continual journeys about the country, I
studied the nature of the people, the quality of
the soil ; and, in short, became accurately ac-
quainted with every thing worthy of observa-
tion. That I might not forget any thing, I used
myself to write notes of each journey. These
notes I enlarged afterwards, as well as I could,
and was thus enabled to deliver to the king a
volume of considerable size.

I soon observed that this work was far from
being displeasing to his majesty. He read it
through with attention, and then recommended
it to the senate with much ceremony. It was

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

53

soon determined that I should be made use of
to discover and make known whatever there was
of interest throughout the planet. Truly ! I
expected some other reward for my sleepless
nights and laborious days, than still greater bur-
thens, still heavier travail. But I could only in
silence sigh with the poet :

" Alas ! that Virtue should be praised by all, —
Should warm, with its mild beams, all hearts :
Yet mock and freeze its owner."

However, as I have always had a great desire
to see and hear every thing new, and expected,
withal, a magnificent reward from the really
kind-hearted king on my return, I set about this
work with a kind.of pleasure.

Although the planet Nazar is but about six
hundred miles in circumference, it seems, to the
trees, of vast extent, principally on account of
their slow movement. No Potuan could go
round it in less time than two years, whereas, I, i
with my long legs, could traverse it easily in
two months.

I set out on this journey in the Poplar month.

Most of the things which I shall now relate,
are so curious, that the reader may be easily

\\

n.tr

\

54 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

brought to believe them to be written from mere
whim, or at least to be poetical contrivance.
The physical and moral diversities are so many
and so great, on this planet, that a man who has
only considered the difference between the anti-
podal nations of the earth, can form but a faint
idea of the same. It must be observed that the
nations of Nazar are divided by sounds and seas,
and that this globe is a kind of Archipelago.

It would be wearisome to relate all my ad-
ventures, and I shall limit my remarks to those
people who seemed to me the most remarkable.

The only things which I found in common
with all, were figure and language. All were
trees. But in customs, gestures, and sense, so
great was the diversity, that each province ap-
peared like a new world.

In duamso, the province next to Potu, the
inhabitants are entirely oak trees. They know
not of bodily weakness or disease, but arrive in
perfect and continued health to a very great age.
They seem to be the most fortunate of all
creatures ; but I found, after some intercourse
with .them, that this assumption was a great
mistake. Although I never saw any of them

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

55

sad, yet none appeared to be happy. The
purest heaven is never impressive, but after a
storm ; so happiness is not appreciated by these
oaks, because it is never interrupted ; they bless
not health, because they are never sick. They
spend their lives in tame and uninterrupted
indifference. Possessed of little politeness and
goodness of heart, their conversation is cold and
cheerless; their manners stiff and haughty.
Without passions, they are crimeless; without
weakness, they are pityless.

Those alone to whom pain and sickness bring
the remembrance of their mortality, learn in
their own sufferings, to sympathise with and
compassionate the woes of others.

I was now in a land, where I had a living
proof of how much the occurrence of pain and
the fear of death tend to produce mutual love
and cheerful converse among fellow beings.
Here, for the first time, I came to know the
folly and sin of grumbling at the Creator, for
bringing upon us trouble and suffering, which
are really good for us, and which produce the
happiest consequences.

The province Lalak, which is sometimes

I

56 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

called Maskatta, or the Blessed Land, was the
next in the order of my journey. This land is
very appropriately named. All things spring
forth spontaneously :

Here, between melon vines and moist strawberry,

Flow milky brooks and amber streams of mead ;
There, luscious wine, from chrystal, spouts more merry,

As Bacchus from his slumber had been freed.
Far down along the mountain's verdant side,

The limpid juice, with golden lustre, ripples.
In dales, soft undulating, oozing glide

Sweet waters, out of teeming nature's nipples ;
And trees of Paradise their branches reach,

Bending with purple plum and mellow peach.
From all the land nutricious savors rise,

To bless its sons, then mount to scent the skies.

These advantages do not, by any means,
make the inhabitants happy. It occurred to me,
that laborers in harsher climates are much better
off than these people, who necessarily languish
in idleness and luxury.

Next to Lalak is Mardak, inhabited by
cypresses. Of these are different descents or
races, determined by the number or shape of
their eyes. Here is a list of the varieties :

Nagiri, who have oblong eyes ; to whom all
objects appear oblong.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 57

Naquire, whose eyes are square.

Pal am pi, who have very small eyes.

Jaraku, with two eyes, which are turned in
opposite directions.

Mehanki, with three eyes.

Panasuki, with four eyes.

Harramba, whose eyes occupy the whole
forehead ; and finally,

Skodolki, who have a single eye in the neck.

The most numerous and powerful of these
races, are the Nagirians. Kings, senators arid
priests are always chosen from this class. None
are admitted to any office, but those who
acknowledge and testify by oath, that a certain
table, dedicated to the sun and placed in the
temple, is oblong. This table is the holiest
object of mardakanic worship. The oath, to
be taken by aspirants to honors, is as follows :

" Kaki manaska quihampu miriac jakku, mes-
imbrii caphani crukkia, manaskar quebriac kru-
sondora."

In English :

" I swear, that the holy table of the sun
seems oblong to me, and I promise to remain in
this opinion until my last breath."

58 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

When the neophyte, of either class, has sworn
this oath, he is taken up among the Nagirians,
and is qualified for any office. On the day after
my arrival, as I walked in the market-place, I
met a party bearing an old man to the whipping
post. I asked them the nature of his offence,
and was told that he was a heretic, who had
publicly declared that the holy table of the sun
appeared square to him.

I immediately entered the temple, being
curious to know whether or not my eyes were
orthodox. The table was certainly square to
my view, and I said so to my landlord, on my
return. This tree, who had been recently ap-
pointed a church-warden, drew a deep sigh on
this occasion, and confessed that it also seemed
square to him, but that he dared not express
such an opinion, openly, from fear of being
ejected from office, if not worse.

Trembling in every joint, I quietly left this
region, fearful that my back might suffer on
account of my heterodox vision.

The duchy of Kimal is considered the
mightiest and richest of the states on this
planet. There are numberless silver mines

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 59

within its borders : the sand of its rivers is
colored by gold, and its coasts are paved with
pearl oysters of the finest water.

The people of this province, nevertheless, are
more miserable than those of any other I
visited. They are miners, gold-strainers and
pearl-divers, condemned to the most infamous
slavery, drenched in water, or secluded from air
and light, and all for the sake of dear gain.
How strange and senseless is the lust for brilliant
baubles !

The possessors of wealth are obliged to keep
a continual watch over their property, for the
land is full of robbers. None can travel without
an armed retinue. Thus, this people, on which
their neighbors look with longing eyes, should
deserve pity rather than excite envy. Fear,
mistrust and jealousy rage in all hearts : each
regards his neighbor as an enemy. Sorrows and
terrors, sleepless nights, pale faces and trembling
hands are the fruits of that very wealth, which
. their neighbors look upon as the greatest good.

My wanderings through Kimal were the most
unpleasant and dangerous in all my experience.
My course was towards the east. I journeyed

60 NARHATIYE OF NIELS KLIM.

among many people, who were generally polite
and social, but whose customs were not sin-
gular enough to merit particular attention. I
had much cause to wonder, when I came among
the Q,uambojas, in whom nature was entirely
perverted. The older these people grow, the
more lustful they become. Rashness, lascivious-
ness and roguery increase with years. None are
suffered to hold offices after the fortieth year.
At this age, the wildness and moral insensibility
of boyhood begins ; the sports of childhood,
only, are tolerated. The tree becomes a minor,
and is placed under the guardianship of his
younger relations.

I did not think it advisable to remain long in
Gluamboja, where in a few years, I should be
sentenced to become a child again.

I witnessed a perversion of a different kind in
Kokleku. In the former province, nature is the
agent of this perversion ; here the law is the
agent. The Koklekuans are juniper trees.

The males alone cook and perform all domes-
tic duties. In time of war, they serve in the
army, but always in the ranks. To the females,
are entrusted all civil, divine and military offices.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 61

The females reason thus : The males are en-
dowed with greater bodily strength, and greater
powers of endurance ; therefore, it is clear that
nature intended them to do all the work. But
this will keep them so busy, that they will not
have time to think. Moreover, as continual
physical labor degrades the mind, if they should
presume to think, their thoughts would be
puerile, and practically useless. Therefore, it
is plain, that to the females belongs the direction
of affairs. The lady of the house may be found
in the study with books and papers about her,
while the master is in the kitchen cooking and
washing.

I saw many mournful effects of this incon-
sistent custom.

In other places, females are to be found, who
bring their chastity to market and trade with
their charms. Here the young males sell their
nights, and for this end congregate in certain
dwellings, before which signs are hung out.
When these males get to be too troublesome,
they are punished as prostitutes are, elsewhere.
Females stroll about the streets, beckon to the
men, stare at them, whistle and cry psh ! to

62 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

them ; chuckle them under the chin and do all
manner of tricks, without the least sense of
shame. These females boast of their victories,
as dandies, with us, plume themselves on their
intimacy with ladies, whose only favor may
have been a sharp box on the ear. None are
here blamed for besieging a young male with
love letters and presents. But a young fellow
would be looked upon as having outraged all
decency, should he stammer out a faint yes, to
the first entreaty of a young female.

At the time I was in the country a terrible
commotion arose on account of the violation of
a senator's son by a young virgin. She was
generally condemned for this high-handed and
abominable action. The friends of the youth
insisted that she should be prosecuted, and if the
crime were proved, sentenced to mend the young
fellow's honor by marrying him, especially as
it could be sworn to that he had lived a pure
and virtuous life till this libertiness had seduced
him.

Blessed Europe ! I exclaimed on this occa-
sion ; thrice blessed France and England !
where the names — weaker sex — frail vessels

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

63

— are no idle names : — where the wives are so
entirely subjected to their husbands that they
seem to be rather machines or automatons than
creatures endowed with free will and noble
aspirations !

The most splendid building in Kokleku is the
Queen's harem, in which three hundred beauti-
ful young fellows are shut up for life. So jeal-
ous is the queen, that no female is allowed to
approach the walls within one hundred yards.
Never beholding any of their race but the queen
and a few dried-up and ugly spinsters, the poor
creatures vegetate, mindless and joyless.

Having heard, accidentally, that my form had
been praised in the presence of the queen, I has-
tily escaped from this unnatural and execrable
land:

— Fear to my feet gave wings.

Continuing my course still to the east, I came
to the philosophical-land, as its inhabitants, who
are principally engaged in the study of philoso-
phy and the sciences, vain-gloriously call it. I
had long and earnestly wished to see this land,
which I enthusiastically ascribed to be the seat
of the muses.

64 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

I hurried on with all possible celerity. But
the roads were so full of stones, holes and bogs,
that I was delayed, besmirched, and bruised.
However, I endured these troubles patiently,
anticipating the delights that awaited me, and
well knowing that the path to paradise is not
over roses. When I had struggled onward for
an hour I met a peasant, of whom, after saluting
him, I demanded how far distant the borders of
Maskattia were ? "You should rather ask," he
replied, " how far you must go back ; — for you
are now in the very middle of it ! "

In great astonishment I asked, " How is it,
that a land inhabited by pure philosophers,
should appear like the abode of wild animals and
ignorant barbarians ? " " Indeed," said the peas-
ant, " It would look better if the people could
find time to attend to such trifles. At present
they must be excused, for they have higher and
nobler things in their heads : they are now specu-
lating about the shortest road to the sun. No-
body can blow and swallow at the same time."

I understood the meaning of the cunning
peasant, and left him, after getting the direction
to the capital city, Casea. Instead of guards
*

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 65

and the usual collection about the gates of a
large town, hens and geese strutted about at their
ease : in the crevices of the gate hung birds-
nests and cobwebs.

In the streets philosophers and swine were
mingled together, and both classes being alike
filthy, they were only to be distinguished from
each other by form.

The philosophers wore a kind of cloak, of the
color of which I should not dare to give an opin-
ion, so thick was the dirt upon them. I was
run into by one of these wise men, who seemed
to be enraptured by some speculation.

" I beg pardon, master of arts ! " I exclaimed,
" may I ask of you the name of this town ? "
He stood for some time immovable, with closed
eyes ; then recovering somewhat from his trance,
and rolling his eyes upwards, he muttered : " We
are not far from noon ! "

This untimely answer, which betrayed a per-
fect insensibility, convinced me that intelligence
resulting from methodical and practical study is
preferable to the torpid insanity incident to much
learning.

I went on, hoping to meet with some sensible

, 6*

•*-

66 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

animal, or any body rather than a philosopher.
In the market-place, — a very extensive square, —
were a great many statues and pillars, covered
with inscriptions.

I approached one of them to get. if possible,
the meaning of the characters. While engaged
in spelling tire words, my back suddenly became
warm, and immediately after I felt warm water
trickling down my legs. I turned round to dis-
cover the fountain of the stream, and, lo ! an
abstracted philosopher was performing, at ease
on my back, the same operation that the dogs
do against the study.

This infamous trick excited my wrath, and I
gave him a severe blow.

The philosopher regained his wits at this, and
seizing me by the hair, dragged me around the
market-place. Our struggles soon brought us
both to the ground. Then a multitude of phi-
losophers came running towards us, and having
dragged me from under my opponent, beat me
with their sticks till I became senseless. I was
then carried to a large house and thrown into
the middle of the hall. I now recovered in a
measure from my ill treatment.
•*• —

NAREATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

67

On seeing this, the wise man who first in-
sulted me, recommenced to beat me, notwith-
standing my prayers for mercy. I now learned
that the intensity of no anger can be compared
to the philosophical ; and that the teachers of
virtue and moderation are not called upon to
practise the same. The longer my oppressor
beat me, the more did his blood boil. At last
there came into the hall four sophists, whose
cloaks proclaimed them to be of a different class
from my late tyrants. They had some compas-
sion for me, and soothed the rage of the others.
I was taken to another house, and right glad was
I to escape the hands of the bandits, and get
among honest people.

I related to my protectors the cause of the
calamity. They laughed heartily at the whole
matter, and then explained to me that the phi-
losopher, absorbed in deep thought, had mistaken
me for a pillar before which it is customary, on
certain natural occasions, to stop.

Just when I supposed myself in safety. I near-
ly gave up the ghost from fear. I was led into
a dissecting room, filled with bones and dead
bodies, the stench from which was intolerable.

68 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

After languishing in this disgusting den for
half an hour, the lady of the house brought in
my dinner, which she had prepared herself. She
was very polite and amiable ; but looked at me
closely, and sighed continually. I asked the
reason of her sorrow. She answered, " that she
became sick when she thought of what I was to
suffer."

" You have, indeed," she said, " come among
honest people, for my husband, who lives in this
house, is a doctor of medicine, and the others
are his colleagues : but your uncommon figure
has awakened their curiosity, and they have de-
termined to take your internal structure into close
consideration. In fine, they intend to cut you
up, in the hope of finding some new phenomena
in anatomy." I was thunder-struck at hearing
these tidings. I cried out indignantly :

"How can people be called honest, madam !
who entertain strangers only to cut them up ? "

" You should stick your fingers in the ground,"
she replied, " and smell the land you have got
into ! " I begged her with tears in my eyes to
intercede for me. She answered, " My interces-
sion would be of no service to you : but I will

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 69

endeavor to save you by other means." She
then took my hand, carefully led me out by a
back door, and guided me to the city gate.

Here I would have taken leave of my kind
and gentle guide ; but while manifesting my
gratitude in the most lively expressions, she sud-
denly interrupted my speech and signified her
intention not to leave me till I should be in per-
fect safety. She would not be persuaded to re-
turn. We walked on together. Meanwhile
she entertained me with just and sensible re-
marks on the customs and follies of the people.
Afterwards she turned the discourse to more
delicate matters. We were at some distance
from the city. My soft companion adverted to
the danger from which she had saved me, and
suddenly demanded of me, in return, a politeness
which was morally impossible.

She told me with much feeling and warmth
of the unfortunate fate of females in this land :
— that the philosophers, entirely absorbed by
their speculations, and buried among their books,
neglect to an alarming extent, the duties of mar-
riage. " Yes," she continued, " I can swear to
you, that we should be wholly undone if some

70 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

polite traveller did not occasionally take pity on
our miserable condition, and mitigate our tor-
ments.

I pretended not to understand her meaning,
and showed the usual common-place and com-
placent sympathy.

But my coolness was as oil to the flame. I
increased my pace. The poor lady, whose heart
had hitherto been subjected to the sweet-smiling
goddess, now changed to a fury.

I fled from my new danger. Fear and length
of legs enabled me to outstrip her. Mingled
with her shrieks, opprobrious epithets fell fast ;
the last I could distinguish were : Kaki Spalaki :
— ungrateful hound !

I passed on to other provinces, in which I
found but little uncommon and peculiar.

I now thought that I had seen all the wonders
of Nazar. But when I came to the land of Cabac,
more curious and more incredible things were
disclosed to my gaze. Among the Cabacans
there is a certain class without heads. These
are born without that appendage. They speak
through a hole in the middle of the breast. On
account of this natural defect, they are generally

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 71

excluded from offices where brains are thought
to be useful. They are notwithstanding a ser-
viceable class : the most of them are to be seen
at court j being gentlemen of the bed-chamber,
stewards of the household, keepers of the ha-
rem, &c.

Beadles, vestry-clerks and such brainless offi-
cers are chosen from this class.

Occasionally one of them is taken up into the
senate, either by the particular favor of govern-
ment, or through the influence of friends. This
is done, generally, without injury to the coun-
try ; for it is well known that the business of
the country is carried on by a few senators, and
that the rest are only useful to fill the seats, and
agree and subscribe to the determinations of the
leaders.

The inhabitants of the two provinces, Cam-
bara and Spelek, are all lime trees. But their
resemblance ends in form. The Cambarans live
only about four years. The Spelekians, on the
other hand, attain to the wonderful age of four
hundred years.

In the former place, the people have their full
growth a few weeks after birth, and finish their
#-

72 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

education before the first year. During the three
remaining years they prepare for death. The
province appeared to be a true Platonic republic,
in which all the virtues reached to their perfec-
tion. The inhabitants, on account of their short
lives, are, as it were, continually on the wing.
They regard this life as a gate through which
they hastily pass. Their hearts are fixed on the
future rather than on the present. They may
be called true philosophers, for they care not for
luxury and pleasure, but strive through fear of
God, virtuous actions, and clear consciences, to
make themselves worthy of eternal happiness.
In a word, this land seemed to be the habitation
of saints and angels ; — the only school of virtue.

I was here brought to think of the unreasona-
bleness of those who grumble at the shortness of
life, — those quarrellers with providence! Life
can be called short when passed in luxury and
idleness. The shortest life is long when it is
well employed.

In Spelek, on the contrary, all the vices com-
mon to erring creatures seem to be congregated.
The people have only the present in their minds,
for the future has no sensible vanishing point-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 73

Sincerity, honesty, chastity and decency have
taken flight to give place to falsehood, lascivious-
ness, and bad manners.

I was happy to get away from this province,
although I was obliged to traverse desolate and
rocky regions which lay beyond it. These
deserts separate Spelek from Spalank, or the
"Innocent Land."

This name is obtained from the meekness and
innocence of the inhabitants. These are all
stone oaks, and are thought to be the happiest
of all sensible beings. They are not subject to
any agitation of mind, and are free from all
vices.

Free, of compulsion ignorant, did all obey
The simple rules of nature. Justice easy
And virtue unadorned they practised ; for unknown
Were punishment and fear. On no holy stone
Were menaces engraved : no holy table
Declared the thunders of the law. None trembled
At the ruler's frown or nod : but, without guard, —
With sharpened steel on shoulder ready poised, —
Or castled wall bristling with murder's tools,
Were all ranks safe. On no battle-field
Was victor crowned or bloody altar
Heaped with his kinsmen's corpses.

With sports

And pleasant tales, in infant innocence they lived
(The innocence that lies in mother's lap unstained.)
7

74 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

Thus passed they from the fond embrace of peace,
With easy change to Death's determined grasp.

When I came to this province, I found that
the reputation which these people had gained,
namely : that they practised virtue from inclina-
tion rather than from the authority of law —
was well founded.

But as envy and ambition were entirely un-
known to them, — the inducements to excel,
and the will for great things were wanting.

They had no palaces, no courts, no fine build-
ings. They had no magistrates Jo administer
law ; no avarice to carry them to court. In fine,
although without vices, they knew nothing of
the arts. — of splendid virtues. — nor of any of
the things which refine a people. They ap-
peared to be rather an oak forest than a sensible
and thoughtful nation.

I travelled next through the province Kiliak.
The natives of this province are born with cer-
tain marks on their foreheads, which point out
how long they will live. At first I imagined
these people to be happy, as death could never
overtake them unexpectedly, nor tear them away
in the midst of their sins. But as each one

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 75

knows on what day he shall die, it is usual to
postpone repentance till the last hour. They
only are really pious who begin to sing their
death song.

I saw several move about the streets with
drooping heads and miserable looks — the signs
upon their foreheads proclaimed their speedy
dissolution.

They counted their remaining hours and min-
utes upon their fingers, and regarded with horror
the rapidity of time.

The Creator's wisdom and goodness to us in
this respect became obvious to me in this land.
I could no longer doubt that it is better for us to
be ignorant of the future.

From Kiliak I sailed over a black sound to
the kingdom of Askarak ; there new wonders
greeted me. While in Cabac, people are to be
seen without heads, here, on the contrary, indi-
viduals come into the world with seven heads.
These are great universal geniuses. In former
times, they were worshiped with almost divine
veneration, and were made senators, chief magis-
trates, &c. As they had as many plans and ex-
pedients as heads, they executed with zeal and

76 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

rapidity many different things, and while the
government was in their hands, there was noth-
ing left unchanged.

But as they made several sets of ideas effec-
tive at once, it happened, very naturally, that
these ideas came in contact with each other. At
last, they mingled together so intricately, that
the seven-headed geniuses could not discriminate
in from out. The affairs of government became
so disordered that centuries were required to
restore them to the simplicity from which these
all-knowing magistrates had brought them.

A law had been established, before I went
there, by which all seven-headed people were
excluded from important offices, and the admin-
istration of government was given to simple and
ordinary persons, that is, persons with but one
head.

The many-headed now occupy the same
places as the headless of Cabac.

Beyond Askarak, and separated from it by ex-
tensive deserts, lays the Duchy of Bostanki.
The Bostankins resemble the Potuans in their
external form. Their internal construction is
very singular. The heart is placed in the right

NARRATIVE OF MELS KLIM. 77

leg ; so that it may be literally said of them,
that their hearts are in their breeches.

They are notorious for being the greatest cow-
ards among all the inhabitants of Nazar.

Angry, from faintness and fatigue, I came to
a tavern near the city gates. I could not abstain
from growling at the landlord because he could
not provide what I called for. The poor fellow
fell on his knees before me, begged my pardon
amid tears and groans, and held his right leg to-
wards me that I might feel how his heart beat.

At this I laughed, and almost forgot to be
angry. I wiped the tears from the poor sinner's
eyes, and told him not to be afraid. He rose up,
kissed my hand, and went out to prepare my
food. Not long after, I heard lamentable cries
and howls in the kitchen. I hastened thither,
and to my great astonishment, saw the humble
and trembling Monsieur poltroon engaged, very
valiantly, in beating his wife and servant girls.
When he perceived me he took to flight. I
turned to the weeping wife and girls and de-
manded what, could have excited such terrible
anger in my lamb-like host. They stood for

some time, silently, with their eyes fixed on the

7*

78 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

ground. At length, the wife replied in the fol-
lowing words : " You do not seem, dear stranger !
to have much knowledge of human nature. The
citizens of this place, who dare not look at an
armed enemy, and, at the least noise, creep like
mice into holes, hector in the kitchens, and ty-
rannize over us feeble women."

Thoroughly disgusted by the mean and
cowardly spirit of this people, I hired a boat
to go to Mikolak. On landing I missed my
outer coat, which I recollected to have put in
the boat at starting. After quarrelling a long
time with the boatman, who denied all knowl-
edge of it, I went to a magistrate, and related
the whole matter to him. I asserted that I had
at least a right to demand my own property, if I
could not sue at law one with whom I had en-
trusted my goods.

The boatman still denied the theft, and re-
quired that I should be punished for wrongly
accusing him. In this doubtful case, the court
demanded witnesses. This demand I could not
answer, but proposed that my opponent should
take oath on his innocence.

At this proposal the judge smiled and said :

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 79

" In this land, my friend, there is no weight in
religious confirmation. The laws are our gods.
Proof must, therefore, be given in a formal man-
ner, by witnesses or written documents. Who-
ever cannot do this not only lose their case, but
are subject to punishment for malicious accusa-
tion. Prove your case by witnesses, and you
will get your own again." I lost my case, but
from regard to the hospitality due to strangers,
was not punished.

I had far more reason to pity this people than
to regret my own loss. How weak is that,
society which relies for its safety on bare human
laws. It is like a city built on a volcanic moun-
tain ! Little firmness has that political structure
which rests not on the foundation of religion.

Leaving this atheistic land, I crossed a very
high mountain to Bragmat, which lays in a dale
at the foot of the mountain. The people of this
city are juniper trees. The first that I met
rushed towards me, and pressing with the weight
of his body, felled me to the ground. When I
demanded the reason of this rough salutation, he
begged my pardon in the most polite and elegant
expressions. A few minutes after, another struck

80 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

me in the side with a hedge-pole, and likewise
excused his carelessness in a pretty speech. I
thought they must be blind, and gave to all I
passed a very wide berth.

I was afterwards informed that some among
them were possessed of a very sharp sight, so
that they can behold objects far beyond the
view of others, but they could not see what was
directly before them. These sharp-sighted peo-
ple are called Makkati, and are, most of them,
adepts in astronomy and transcendental philoso-
phy.

I passed through several other provinces, in
which I found nothing worthy to be recorded
in this history ; and returned to Potu after an
absence of two months.

I entered the city of Potu on the tenth day of
the Ash month. The first thing I did was to
deliver my journal to the king, who ordered it
to be printed.

It must be observed that the art of printing,
which both the Europeans and Chinese claim to
have invented, has been well known in Nazar
for ages. The Potuans were so much pleased
with my book that they were never tired of

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 81

reading it. Little trees carried it about the
streets and cried : " Court-footman Skabba's
Travels around the Globe."

Puffed up by my success, I now strove for
higher things, and awaited, somewhat impa-
tiently, an appointment to a great and respecta-
ble office. My expectations not being answered,
I gave in a new petition, in which I eulogized
my work and claimed a suitable reward for my
uncommon merit.

The mild and beneficent king was moved by
my prayers, and promised to keep me in gracious
remembrance.

He kept his promise, but not to my liking, for
his grace consisted only in making an addition
to my stipend.

I had pointed my nose another way, but not
daring to press the king with more petitions, I
made my complaint to the great chancellor.
This very sensible personage listened to me with
his usual urbanity, and promised to serve me.
At the same time he advised me to abandon my
unreasonable desires, and take a more exact view
of my weak judgment and general insignificance.
"Nature," he said, "has been a step-mother to

82 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

you ; you want, altogether, the talents which
clear the road to important offices. You must
creep before you walk ; and it is foolish to think
of flying without wings." He acknowledged
my merits : " But," he continued, " it is not
such merits as yours that will give you admit-
tance to State affairs. If all merit should give
this right, then every painter and sculptor, this
for his skill in carving, that for his knowledge
of colors, might demand a seat at the council
board. Merit ought to be rewarded, but the
reward should be adapted to the object, that the
State may not suffer."

This speech struck me, and had the effect to
keep me very quiet for some time. But I could
not endure the thought of growing grey in my
base employment. I determined on the despe-
rate attempt, which I had formerly considered,
to improve the constitution, and thus, by a bold
stroke, to advance my own and the country's
welfare.

Shortly before my journey I had strictly ex-
amined the internal condition of the kingdom,
to discover the least failing in its machinery,
and the best means to remedy it.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 83

In the province Kokleku I had learnt that the
government waggles in which women have a
part. For being by nature vain, they strive to
extend their power in every conceivable direc-
tion, and stop not till they have procured for
themselves perfect and unlimited dominion.

I concluded, therefore, to propose the exclu-
sion of the fair sex from all public offices, and
trusted to get a sufficiency of voices on my side
by placing the case in its best light. It seemed
an easy matter, to me, to convince the male sex
of the dangers to which they were exposed, if
they did not, in time, weaken this female power.

I executed this plan with all the art I was
possessed of, supporting it with the most cogent
reasons, and sent it to the king.

He, who had given me many proofs of his
favor, was astonished at this miserable and im-
pertinent project, as he graciously called it, and
said, that it would fall out to my destruction.

But relying partly on my reasonings and partly
on the support of the whole male population, I
held obstinately to my plan. According to law,
I was led to the market-place with a rope about
my neck, to await the decision of the Council.

84 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

When the counsellors had given their votes, the
sentence was sent to be subscribed by the king,
which being done, it was publicly read by a
herald, as follows :

" On mature consideration we adjudge, that
the proposal made by Sr : Skabba, first court-
footman to his majesty, to exclude the second
sex from public offices, cannot be accepted,
without affecting the peace and order of the
kingdom : since the women, who form the half
of our population, would naturally be excited by
this innovation, and thereby become hostile and
troublesome to the government. Furthermore,
we hold it to be unjust to deny, to trees of ex-
cellent qualities, admission to offices of which
they have hitherto shown themselves to be wor-
thy ; and especially it is incredible, that nature,
which does nothing inconsiderately, should have
idly endued them with superior and varied gifts.
We believe the welfare of the kingdom requires
that a regard should be had to fitness rather than
to names, in the disposal of offices. As the land
is not seldom in need of capable subjects, we
pronounce a statute which should declare an en-
tire half of the inhabitants, merely from birth,

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M. 85

unworthy of and useless in affairs, to be deplora-
ble.

" After grave deliberation we declare this to be
justice : let the aforesaid Skabba, for his no less
despicable than bold proposal, suffer the usual
punishment in such cases."

The good king took my misfortune to heart,
but did not seek to change the resolution of the
Council. As a matter of form he signed the
warrant for my execution. Yet with his char-
acteristic mildness, and in consideration of my
having been born and educated in a strange
world, where a quick and reckless head is thought
to be a blessing, he commuted my punishment
to imprisonment till the beginning of the Birch
month, when, with other animals, I should be
banished to the firmament. When this sentence
was published, I was sent to prison.

CHAPTER X.

THE VOYAGE TO THE FIRMAMENT.

TWICE a year, some very large birds, called
Kupakki or post birds, are wont to show them-
selves on the planet Nazar.

They come and go at certain regular periods,
which has given rise to various opinions. Some
think, that insects, of which great multitudes ap-
pear at the same periods, and which the birds
are very fond of eating, entice them down to the
planet. This is my own notion. The circum-
stance, that when these insects disappear, the
birds return to the firmament, places the opinion

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 87

almost beyond all doubt. It is the same instinct,
which leads certain species of birds on our earth
to migrate at regular periods.

Others believe, that these birds are trained
like hawks and other birds of prey, to fetch booty
from other lands. This conjecture is grounded
upon the great care with which they lay down
their burdens, when their flight is finished. This
supposition is somewhat strengthened by the
fact, that they become tame and gentle just be-
fore they begin their flight, suffering themselves
to be thrown into nets, under which they lie im-
movable. Meanwhile they are fed with insects
till the regular period arrives. Then a long box,
just large enough to hold a tree or man, is fas-
tened to a rope, which is again tied to the legs
of the bird. On the banishment day, food is
withheld from them, the nets are raised, and the
kupakkis wing their way to the firmament.

Two citizens of Potu had been doomed to
banishment with myself. One was a metaphy-
sician, who had offended the law by making
some sage remarks upon the nature of spirits ;
the other was a fanatic, who, by starting doubts
concerning the holiness of religion and the unit-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

ing force of the civil law, was suspected to have
designed the overthrow of both. This latter
would not regulate himself by the public ordi-
nances, because, he said, all civil obedience was
inconsistent with his conscience. Thus three of
us, namely, a project-maker, a metaphysician,
and a fanatic, were, on the first day of the Birch
month, shut up in boxes.

I never knew what became of my fellow-suf-
ferers. As for myself, I was enclosed, with food
sufficient for a few days. Shortly after, my ku-
pakki, finding nothing to eat, started off with
amazing speed.

It is generally believed, under ground, that
the distance between the planet Nazar and the
firmament is about four hundred miles. I had
no means of determining how long my passage
was, but conjectured it to be about twenty-four
hours.

I heard nothing, during this time, but the
heavy and monotonous flapping of the kupakki's
wings. At last, there sounded in my ears a con-
founding noise, which announced that we could
not be far from land.

I now observed that the bird had really been
4

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 89

trained, for he set the box, with so much care
on the ground, that I did not feel the slightest
jar. The box was immediately opened, and I
rose up in the midst of a great multitude of
monkeys, who, to my astonishment, conversed
together in an intelligent language rather than
chattered, and walked to and fro, in measured
and dignified paces. They were dressed in
cloths of varied colors. A number of them
advanced towards me with much politeness, and
handed me from the box.

They seemed to be surprised at my figure,
particularly when they discovered I had no tail.
Their amazement was not at all lessened by the
fact, that I resembled them (laying aside the tail)
more nearly than did any stranger they had
hitherto seen.

At the time of my arrival the water was very
high, owing to the nearness of Nazar. This
planet has the same effect upon the tides of the
firmament, as our moon has upon those of the
earth.

I was led to a very large building, ornamented
in the richest style. The presence of a guard at

the door convinced me that it was the residence

8*

90 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

of no common monkey. It was, as I afterwards
learnt, the residence of the mayor of the mon-
keys.

A number of teachers were selected to instruct
me in their language.

In three months I was enabled to speak with
considerable readiness. Then I expected to pro-
cure for myself the admiration of all, for my
prompt ingenuity and superior memory. But
my teachers declared me to be sluggish and dull
of apprehension, and in their impatience often
threatened to abandon their charge. As, on
the planet Nazar, I had been ironically named
Skabba, or the untimely, for my quick percep-
tions, so here I was called Kakidoran, which
signifies, idle and stupid. Those only are re-

Uspected here, who can comprehend and express
- any thing instantaneously. I amused myself
during the course of my studies by walking
about the city, in which I met on all sides nota-
ble signs of splendor and luxury.

When I had finished my education, that is,
when I could speak fluently, I was carried to
the capital city Martinia, from which the whole
country takes its name. The object of the

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 91

mayor evidently was, to insinuate himself into
the favor of a certain counsellor, by presenting
to him a strange and unprecedented animal.

The government of Martinia is aristocratical.
The state is administered by a great council,
selected from the body of the old nobility.

Before proceeding to the house of the lord, to
whom I was to be offered, the mayor led me to
a hotel, where we could make ourselves present-
able to his excellency. Several servants, called
maskatti, or dressers, joined us for this purpose.
One took the mayor's sword to burnish it ;
another tied different colored bands to his tail.
I will here remark, that nothing lays nearer to a
monkey's heart than the adornment of his tail.

When my conductor was polished, dressed
and adorned, we departed for the president's
palace, followed by three servants.

On coming to the entrance, the mayor loosed
his shoes, that he might not soil the marble
floor. After waiting for a long time, with not a
little impatience, we were suffered to enter the
reception hall. Here the president sat in a
golden chair.

As soon as he saw us, the president burst out

92 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

in a terrific laugh. I concluded either that he
was seized by delirium, or that silly and insane
laughter was a peculiarity of great people in
Martinia. In short, I took his lordship to be a
fool.

I afterwards expressed this opinion to the
mayor; but he assured me that the president
was a monkey of remarkable natural powers ;
that his mind was so comprehensive, that he not
only determined matters of the highest impor-
tance at table, with his glass in hand, but even
wrote or dictated a new statute between the
courses.

His excellency tattled to me half an hour, his
tongue wagging, the while, with an agility im-
measurably superior to that of OUT European
barbers.

Then turning to my companion, he said, he
would take me among his subordinate attend-
ants, since he perceived, from my sluggish dispo-
sition, that I must have been born in the land of
stupidity', where

Long-eared mortals, in perpetual fogs,

Oft lose their way to mire in horrid bogs : —

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 93

and consequently that I was unfit for any office
of trust and respectability. "I have, indeed,"
urged the mayor, " observed a natural obtuseness
in this man ; nevertheless, when he is allowed
time to think, he judges by no means badly."

" Of what use is that," replied the president ;
" here we need nimble officers, for the immense
diversity of our affairs does not give us time to
think."

The president, having spoken thus, very
gravely, and carefully examined my body, and di-
rected me to lift a heavy weight from the floor.
Seeing that I did this with ease, he remarked :
" Nature, although she has stinted you in the
faculties of the soul, has compensated, in some
measure, by granting to you a degree of bodily
strength."

I now received orders to go out and wait in
the court. Soon after the mayor followed, and
as he passed, told me that his excellency had
determined to include me in his train.

I concluded from . his lordship's undervaluing
opinion of me, that rny situation could not be
very elevated ; still, I was curious to know my
fate, and therefore asked the mayor if he knew

94 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

what I was to be entrusted with. The mayor
answered : " His excellency, with special grace,
has appointed you for his chief porteur,* with a
yearly pay of twenty-five stercolatus." (A ster-
colatu is about one dollar of our money. ) " Fur-
thermore, he will not require your services for
any but himself and her grace, his lady." This
answer was like a thunder-stroke to me ; but I
was sensible that it was useless to object.

I was carried to a chamber, where a supper of
dried fruits was laid ; after eating a little, my
bed was pointed out to me.

I threw myself upon the bed, but my mind
was so agitated, that I could not for a time clo se
my eyes in sleep. The pride and contempt
with which the monkeys regarded me, provoked
me almost to rage. A more than Spartan patience
was needed to listen with indifference to their
sneers. At last I slumbered. How long I
know not, for in the firmament there is no divis-
ion of night and day. It is never dark, except
at a certain period, when the planet Nazar comes
between the firmament and the subterranean sun.

* A porteur is one who carries his employer in a chair,
from place to place.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 95

On awakening, I found at my side a mean
looking monkey, who asserted that he was my
colleague. He had brought with him a false
tail, which he fixed upon me, and then tied to
it some ribbons of various colors. He told me
that in half an hour the president would be ready
to set out for the Academy, and that I must pre-
pare myself to begin my duties. The ceremony
of promoting a doctor was to take place.

We bore the president to the Academy in a
golden sedan, and were suffered to remain in the
hall during the performance.

At the entrance of the president, all the doc-
tors and masters of art rose and turned their tails
towards him. To a dweller on the earth, such
salutations would probably have appeared un-
seemly and ridiculous, as such a movement with
us is expressive of indifference or dislike.

But every land has its own customs. I have
seen so many strange ceremonies and varied
usages, that I have come to observe, rather than
laugh at them.

The act of promotion, on this occasion, was
performed with the following ceremonies. The
candidate was placed in the middle of the hall.

96 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

Then three officers, each with a pail of cold wa-
ter, approached him with measured steps. Each
in turn dashed his bucket of water in the candi-
date's face. The sufferer is obliged to receive
this bath without distorting his countenance, on
pain of forfeiting his degree. Odorous oils were
then sprinkled over him, and finally a powerful
vomit was given to him. When this last dose
had produced its usual effect upon the candidate,
he was pronounced to be a lawfully graduated
doctor.

I turned to a learned doctor, who stood near
me, and humbly asked him the meaning of all I
had seen.

First expressing his pity for my ignorance, the
sneering pedant condescended to inform me, that
the ceremony of the water was significant of the
preparation for anew course of life and duty ; the
ointment, of elevation above the mass ; and the
vomit, of the extermination of prejudice and error.

I fancied, but I did not say so, that my digni-
fied instructor in the mysteries needed a fresh
vomit.

The Martinianic religion is not at all practical.
There are two hundred and thirty speculations

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

97

concerning j;he form and being of God, and three
hundred and ninety-six of the nature and quali-
ties of the soul. There are many churches and
theological seminaries, but in neither is taught
the way to live and die well. The people are
all critics, who go to be amused by the art and
delicacy of the holy teachers. The more ob-
scure and involved the propositions of their
preachers, the more are they praised. The Mar-
tin ians are indifferent to every thing they can
easily understand.

Martinia is the paradise of project-makers.
The more inconsistent and useless a scheme, the
surer is it of general approbation.

When I once spoke with an enthusiastic mon-
key, of the earth and its inhabitants, he fell upon
the notion, to bore through to the surface, and
make a convenient and easy way of communi-
cation.

He prepared a long and eloquently worded
plan on this subject, which pleased and excited
every body.

A company was formed, and named the " Sub-
terranean Boring Company ; " its originator, Hiho
Pop-coq, was made its president. The stock

98 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

was seized on with avidity, and the project was
not abandoned until a multitude of families had
been ruined, and the public affairs brought into
the greatest disorder ; and even then the scheme
was dropped, less from its supposed impractica-
bility, than from the length of time required to
accomplish it.

The author of it was not only left unpunished,
but was overwhelmed with the general applause,
for the originality and boldness of his attempt.

The Martinians are used to console them-
selves on such occasions, by repeating the fol-
lowing couplet :

" The project ended in defeat ;
The notion was, however, neat."

When I had thoroughly studied the character
of this people, I determined to take advantage of
their weaknesses, and by some outrageous pro-
posal, to gain their respect, and thereby better
my condition.

I revealed my intention to a shrewd old mon-
key, who encouraged me in these words :

Who would succeed in Martianic land,
Must quit the useful, to propose the grand ;

*

fc N

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 99

Hazard those deeds, that to the gallows pave,
Thy fortune's made ! Here's honor for the knave.

After due deliberation, my choice became
fixed upon that ornament for the head, called
wigs by us.

I had previously noticed that the land contain,
ed a multitude of goats ; with the hair of these
creatures I proposed to manufacture my wigs.

My step-father had been engaged in the trade,
and as I had, with the inquisitiveness of youth,
observed the process, I could bungle at it.

I made a goafs-hair wig for myself, and
adorned with it, presented myself to the presi-
dent.

This dignitary was astonished at the new and
uncommon decoration. He seized it from my
head, and placing it on his own, hastened in a
very undignified manner to the mirror.

So enraptured was he at the sight of the pom-
pous protuberance, that he shrieked out : " Divine
art, how like a God am I ! " — he sent immedi-
ately for her Grace to partake in his joy.

She was not less pleased than her lord. She
embraced him, kissed him, and assured him that
she had never seen him more handsome.
*

100 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

The president addressed himself to me with
much less haughtiness than usual. " O Kaki-
doran ! " he exclaimed, "if this discovery of
yours pleases the Council as well as it does me,
your fortune is made. You may hope for the
most honorable reward the State can give."

I gracefully thanked his Excellency, and im-
mediately wrote a petition, which I requested
him to lay before the Council.

His Excellency took the petition together with
the wig, and departed. I understood that all
the cases which were to come before the Council
on this day, had been laid aside, so inquisitive
were all to hear and examine my project. The
work was accepted, and an appropriate reward
was adjudged to me. I was called up to
the council-chamber ; on my entrance, an old
monkey stood up, and, after thanking me in the
name of the whole republic, proclaimed that my
work should be rewarded as its merits deserved.
He then demanded, what length of time I should
need to fabricate another such head ornament ?
I replied, that it was reward enough for me,
that my curious workmanship had gained the
approbation of the great men who composed

•*•-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 101

the Council ; for the rest, I bound myself to
make another wig in two days, and also to
manufacture wigs enough for the whole city
in a month, provided I might count upon the
assistance of a number of monkeys, accustomed
to work. This proposal, however, made the
president hot about the ears, and he exclaimed
with much eagerness : " It is not fit, my dear
Kakidoran, that this ornament should be com-
mon to the whole town, for being worn by all
without distinction, it will become ordinary and
vulgar. The nobility must necessarily be dis-
tinguished from the common people."

All the members of the Council concurred in
his opinion, and the city marshal was charged to
take heed that none might wear wigs, except
the nobility. This order having been promul-
gated, the citizens thronged about the council-
chamber to obtain titles and charters, which
some bought with their money and others pro-
cured through the influence of their friends ; so
that in a short time full half the city were made
nobles. But when petition after petition poured
in from the provinces, that the like favor should

be extended to them, the Council, being pos-
9*

102 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M.

sessed with a righteous fear of riot and civil war,
finally determined to allow every one, without
distinction of rank, to wear a wig. I thus had
the pleasure to see the whole Martinianic nation
wigged before I left that country. And, truly,
it can scarcely be imagined what a funny and
ridiculous appearance the wigged monkeys pre-
sented ! The whole nation made so much of
my project and its accomplishment, that a new
era was established ; and from this time the
wig-age commenced in the Martinianic annals.

In the meantime, I was loaded with praises
and panegyrics, wrapped in a purple cloak, and
returned from the court-house in the president's
own sedan, the same porteur, who had formerly
been my companion, serving me now as a horse.
From that day I dined continually at the table
of his Excellency.

With this glittering preamble to my fortunes,
I commenced in earnest the work I had prom-
ised, and soon finished wigs enough for the
whole Council ; and after sweating for a month
— a patent of nobility was brought to me,
couched in the following words :

" In consideration of the most excellent and

4

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 103

very useful discovery, through which Kakidoran,
born in Europe, has made himself worthy of the
gratitude of the whole Martiniauic nation, we
have resolved to advance him to the rank of
nobility, so that he, and all his descendants shall
be regarded as true noblemen, and enjoy all the
prerogatives and rights, of which the nobility of
Martinia are in possession. Furthermore, we
have determined to dignify him with a new
name ; he shall therefore from this day, be no
longer called Kakidoran, but Kikidorian. More-
over, since his new dignity requires a richer
style of living, we grant him a yearly pension of
two hundred patarer. Given in the council-
chamber of Martinia, the fourth day of the
month Merian, under the great seal of the
Council."

Thus I suddenly became changed from a
simple porteur to a respectable nobleman, and
lived for a long while in great splendor and
honor. When it was known that I was high in
the favor of the president, everybody sought my
good will and protection. It is the fashion
among the poets of Martinia to panegyrize the
tails of eminent monkeys, as it is with us to
eulogize the beauty of women. Several poets
commended the beauty of my tail, although I

104 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

had none. To say everything on this subject in
a few words — their fawning servility towards
me was so extreme, that a certain man of high
rank and station, did not hesitate, nor did he
feel himself shamed, to promise me that his wife
should make herself agreeable to me in every
possible way, provided that I would recompense
him by recommending him to the president.

When I had lived in this land for the space of
two years, at first a porteur and latterly a noble-
man, an incident, entirely unexpected, occurred,
which was nearly fatal to me. I had, up to this
period, been in special favor with his Excellency ;
and her Grace, the president's lady, had evinced
so much kindness to me, that I was regarded the
first among all her favorites. She was distin-
guished for her virtue ; but, when in the lapse of
time, I perceived one after another ambiguity in
her expressions, I began to feel a kind of mis-
trust, especially when I observed that

Sometimes she'd smile with wanton grace,
Then unto sudden tears give place,
While gazing, silent, on my face
With mild devotion.
Her's all the art of tenderness,
That pleases while it wounds no less :

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 105

Her breasts, half-covered, now confess

Their strange emotion.
Then sighs that can no reason find,
Or used to make my reason blind : —
Her hands upon her breast entwined —

Ah, female charms !
Her face would lose its rosy hue
For lily's, washed in morning dew ;
Aurora's purple blazed anew,

In love's alarms.

My suspicions finally became certainties, when
a chambermaid brought to me, one day, the
following note :

11 DEAREST KIKIDORIAN, —

" The feeling which I owe to my rank and
high descent, and the modesty natural to my
sex, have until now hindered the sparks of
love which have long secretly burned in my
bosom, from breaking forth in open flame : but
I am weary of the combat, and my heart can no
longer resist its bewitching enemy. Have pity
for a female, from whom only the utmost degree
of burning love could have been able to extort a
confession.

PTARNNSA."

I cannot describe how singularly I felt at this
entirely unexpected declaration of love : but as I

106 NARRATIVE OP NIELS KLIM.

held it far better to expose myself to the revenge
of a furious female, than to sin against the order
of nature, by a shameful intimacy with a crea-
ture that did not belong to my race, I immedi-
ately wrote an answer in the following words:

" GRACIOUS LADY, —

"The constant favor his Excellency, your
husband, has shown to me ; the undeserved
benefits he has bestowed upon me ; the moral
impossibility of fulfilling your gracious desires ;
and many other reasons, that I will not name,
move me to submit to the anger of my gracious
lady, rather than consent to an action that would
stigmatize me as the most ungrateful and the
lowest among all two-legged creatures. Besides,
what is desired of me, would be more bitter to
satisfy than death itself. This action, if I
yielded to it, would effect the ruin and dishonor
of one of the most respected families in the State,
and my willingness would injure, before all
others, that person who has desired it. With
the most solemn and sincere assurances of grati-
tude I must here declare, gracious lady, that
under no circumstances can I fulfil your wishes
in this respect, although to all other commands
I promise a blind obedience.

KlKIDORIAN."

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M. 107

Underneath I wrote the following admoni-
tion:

" Think of this heavy sin ;

Fly ere it be too late :
Shall vice, the pander, newly in,

Bow virtue to the gate ?
Let Cupid not ensnare you —

His cunning wiles beware you,
The sweets of sin soon vanish —

Its pains, ah ! who can banish."

This letter I sent to the lady, and it had the
effect that I expected ; her love was changed to
the bitterest hatred : —

In vain her glowing tongue would vie,
To tell her frightful agony.
Despairing shame her accents clip ; —
They freeze upon her snowy lip.
No tears did flow ; such pain oft dries
The blessed current of the eyes :
Fell vengeance from her black orbs glanced,
While like a fury, she advanced.

Nevertheless, she restrained her fury, until she
recovered the love-letter she had written to me.
As soon as she had secured it, she hired some
persons to testify by oath, that, in the absence
of his Excellency, I had attempted to violate her.
This fable was represented with so much art
and speciousness, that the president did not

108 NARRATIVE OP NIELS KLIM.

doubt its truth, and I was ordered to be put in
prison. In this, my despairing condition, I saw
no other means of deliverance than to confess
the crime, with which I had been charged, and
supplicate the president for mercy : which being
done, my life was conceded, but I was doomed
to perpetual imprisonment. My charter of no-
bility was immediately taken from me, and I
was sent to the galleys as a slave. My destina-
tion was to one of the ships belonging to the
republic, which then lay ready to sail for Mez-
endares, or the Land-of-wonders. Thence were
brought the wares that Martinia cannot produce.
This ship, on board of which my evil fortune
had now cast me, was propelled both by sails
and oars ; at each oar two slaves were chained :
consequently I was attached to another unfortu-
nate. I was consoled, however, by the prospect
of a voyage, during which I hoped to find new
food and nourishment for my insatiable inquisi-
tiveness, although I did not believe all that the
seamen told of the curious things I should see.
Several interpreters accompanied us ; these being
made use of by the Mezendaric merchants in
the course of their commercial negotiations.

CHAPTER XI.

THE VOYAGE TO THE LAND-OF-WONDERS.

BEFORE I proceed to the description of this
sea-yoyage, I must first caution all severe and
unmerciful critics not to frown too much at the
narration of things, which seem to war against
nature, and even surpass the faculties of faith in
the most credulous man. I relate incredible but
true things, that I have seen with my own eyes.
Raw and ignorant ninnies who have never
started a foot from their homes, regard every
thing as fable, whose equal they have never
heard of or seen ; or, with which they have not

10

110

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

been familiar from childhood. Learned people,
on the contrary, especially those who have a
deep knowledge of natural history, and whose
experience has proved to them how fruitful
nature is in changes, will pass a more reasonable
sentence upon the uncommon things narrated.

In former days a people were found in Scythia,
called Arimasps, who had but one eye, which
was placed in the middle of the forehead:
another people, under the same climate, had their
foot-soles turned out backwards, and in Albany
were people born with gray hairs. The ancient
Sanromates ate only on every third day and
fasted the other two ; in Africa were certain
families who could bewitch others by their talk ;
and it is a well known fact, that there were
certain persons in Illyria, with two eye-balls to
each eye, who killed people by merely looking
at them : this, however, they could do, only
when they were angry : then their fierce and
scintillating stare was fatal to whomever was
rash or unfortunate enough to meet it : on the
mountains of Hindostan were to be found whole
nations with dog's heads, who barked ; and others
who had eyes in their backs. Who would

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M. Ill

believe this and even more, if Pliny, one of the
most earnest writers, had not solemnly assured
us, that he had neither heard nor read the least
hereof, but had seen it all with his own eyes ?
Yes, who would have imagined that this earth
was hollow j that within its circumference were
both a sun and moon, if my own experience had
not discovered the secret? Who would have
thought it possible, that there was a globe,
inhabited by walking, sensible trees, if the same
experience had not placed it beyond all doubt ?
Nevertheless, I will not pick a quarrel with any
one, on account of his incredulity in this matter,
because I must confess, that I myself, before I
made this voyage, mistrusted whether these
tales might not have arisen from the exagge-
rated representations of seamen, or that they
were the result of that well-known qualification
of this class of men, familiarly styled the " spin-
ning a yarn."

In the beginning of the month Radir, we
went on board our ship, weighed anchor, and

The wind in swelling sails embraced the bending masts,
And, like an arrow in the air, with lightning speed,
The keel shrieked through the foaming billows.

112 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

The wind was fair for some days, during
which we poor rowers had a comfortable time,
for the oars were not needed ; but on the fourth
day it fell calm ;

The sails did fall : in haste the seats were fixed ;

With plashing stroke, the oars smote heaven in the waters.

For a long time we met with nothing ; but as
soon as we lost sight of land, strange figures
raised themselves from the quaking gulph.
They were mermaids, who, when the weather
becomes calm and the billows rest themselves,
rise to the surface and swim towards any passing
ship, to ask for alms. Their language was so
similar to the Martinianic, that some of our
sailors could speak with them without an in-
terpreter. One of these singular creatures
demanded of me a piece of meat ; when I gave
it to her, she looked at me steadily for a time,
and said : you will soon become a hero, and rule
over mighty nations ! I laughed at this divina-
tion, for I considered it empty flattery, although
the sailors swore to it, that the mermaids' pre-
diction seldom failed. At the end of eight days
we came in sight of land, which the seamen

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 113

called Picardania. As we entered the harbor, a
magpie came flying towards us, which, they said,
was the custom-house inspector-general. When
this dignitary had flown thrice around the ship,
he returned to the shore arid came back with
three other magpies : these seated themselves on
the prow of the ship. I came very near bursting
with laughter, when I saw one of our inter-
preters approach these magpies, with many
compliments, and heard him hold a long con-
versation with them. They had come for the
purpose of examining our freight and detecting
any forbidden articles that we might have con-
cealed; when all was found correct, we were
suffered to unload. As soon as this was done, a
number of magpies flew to the ship, who proved
to be merchants. The captain then went ashore,
accompanied by myself and two monkeys,
namely, our supercargo and an interpreter ; after
clearing the ship and disposing of the cargo, we
returned, and shortly set sail.

In three days we reached Music -land. After
casting anchor, we went on shore, preceded by
one of the interpreters, who carried a bass-viol

in his hand. As we found the whole country
10*

114 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

about us empty and desolate, discovering no
where any trace of living creatures, the captain
ordered a trumpet to be sounded, to inform the
inhabitants of our arrival. Before the echoes of
the blast from the trumpet had subsided, (and
they seemed to penetrate farther and reverberate
longer than usual from the perfect stillness of
this apparently void region,) about thirty musical
instruments came hopping towards us. These
were bass-viols. On the very long neck of each
was placed a little head; the body was also
small, and covered by a smooth bark, which,
however, did not close entirely around the frame,
but was open in front and disposed loosely about
them. Over the navel, nature had built a bridge,
above which four strings were drawn. The
whole machine rested on a single leg, so that
their motion was a spring rather than a walk.
Their activity was very great, and they jumped
with much agility over the fields. In short, we
should have taken them for musical instruments,
as their general appearance purported, if they
had not had each two arms and hands. In the
one hand was a bow, the other was used upon
the frets. When our interpreter would converse

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M. 115

with them, he put his viol in its position, and
commenced playing an air. They immediately
answered him by touching their strings, and
thus alternating with each other, a regular
musical conversation was carried on. At first
they played only Adagio, with much harmony ;
then they passed over to discordant tunes ; and
finally concluded with a very pleasant and lively
Presto. As soon as our people heard this, they
leaped and sung for joy, saying, that the bargain
for the wares was now fixed. Afterwards I
learnt that the Adagio, they first played, was
merely an opening or preface to the conversa-
tion, and consisted only of compliments ; that
the discordant tones which followed, were bick-
erings and disputes about prices ; and, finally, that
the sweet sounding Presto indicated that an
agreement had been made. At the conclusion
of these negotiations, the wares stipulated for
were landed. The most important of these is
Kolofonium, with which the inhabitants rub
their bows or organs of speech.

Late in the month of Cusan, we set sail from
Music-land, and after some days sailing hove in
sight of a new land, which, on account of the

116 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

foul smell that reached our noses at a great
distance, our seamen supposed to be Pyglos-
sia.

The inhabitants of this land are not very
unlike the human race in their general appear-
ance ; the sole difference being, that these people
have no mouth: they speak from the face
which turns towards the south when the nose
points to the north. The first of them who came
on board, was a rich merchant. He saluted us
after the custom of his nation, by turning his back
towards us, and immediately began to bargain
with us for our wares. I kept myself considera-
bly remote during the negotiation, as neither the
sound nor the smell of his speech pleased me.
To my great horror our barber was taken sick
at this time, so that I was obliged to summon a
Pyglossian perfume. As the barbers here are
quite as talkative as among us, this one, while
shaving me, filled the cabin with so disagreeable
a smell, that, on his departure, we were Obliged
to smoke with all the incense we had on board.

We sailed hence to Iceland. This land con-
sisted of desolate rocks, covered by eternal
snows. The inhabitants who are all of ice, live
•*-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 117

here and there in the clefts of the rocks on the
tops of the mountains, where the sun is never
seen, enveloped by almost perpetual darkness
and frost. The only light they have comes
from the shining rime.

These lands, of which I here have given a
view, are all subject to the great emperor of
Mezendora proper, and are therefore called by
seafaring people the Mezendoric islands. This
great and wonderful country, namely, Mezen-
dora, is the goal of all extended voyages. Eight
days sail from Iceland brought us to the imperial
residence. There we found all that realized,
which our poets have fancied of the societies of
animals, trees and plants ; Mezendora being, so
to speak, the common father-land of all sensible
animals and plants. In this empire each animal
and every tree can obtain citizenship, merely by
submitting to the government and laws. One
would suppose, that, on account of the mixture
of so many different creatures, great confusion
would prevail among them : but this is far from
the case. On the contrary, this very difference
produces the most happy effects ; which must
be attributed to their wise laws and institutions,

118 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M.

decreeing to each subject that office and employ-
ment to which his nature and special faculties
are best fitted. Thus, the lion, in consideration
of his natural magnanimity, is always chosen
regent. The elephant, on account of his keen
judgment, is called to sit in the State-council.
Courtiers are made of chameleons, because they
are inconstant and know how to temporize.
The army consists of bears, tigers and other
valorous animals ; in the marine service, on the
contrary, are oxen and bulls ; seamen being gen-
erally hardy and brave people ; but severe,
inflexible, and not particularly delicate in their
living, which corresponds very well with their
element. There is a seminary for this class,
where calves or sea-cadets are educated for sea-
officers. Trees, for their natural discretion and
gravity, are usually appointed judges: counsel-
lors are geese ; and the lawyers of the courts
in ordinary are magpies. Foxes are generally
selected as ambassadors, consuls, commercial-
agents, and secretaries-of-legation. The ravens
are chosen for dealing-masters and executors on
the effects of those deceased. The buck-goats
are philosophers, and especially grammarians,

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 119

partly for the sake of their horns, which they
use on the slightest occasion, to gore their
opponents, and partly in consideration of their
reverend beards, which so notably distinguish
them from all other creatures. The staid yet
energetic horse has the suffrage for the mayor-
alty and other civil dignitaries. Estate owners
and peasants are serpents, moles, rats and mice.
The ass, on account of his braying voice, is
always the leader of the church-choir. Treas-
urers, cashiers and inspectors are commonly
wolves ; their clerks, being hawks. The (roos-
ters) cocks are appointed for watchmen, and the
dogs house-porters.

The first who came on board of us, was a
lean wolf or inspector, the same as a custom-
house-officer in Europe, followed by four hawks,
his clerks. These took from our wares what
pleased them best, proving to us thereby that
they understood their business perfectly, and had
all its appropriate tricks at their fingers' ends.
The captain took me ashore with him. As
soon as we had set foot on the quay, a cock
came towards us, demanded whence we were,
the nature of our cargo, and announced us to

120 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M.

the inspector-general. This latter received us
with much courtesy, and invited us to dine with
him. The mistress of the house, whom I had
heard to be one of the greatest beauties among
the female wolves, was not present at the table :
the reason of this was, as we afterwards learned,
her husband's jealousy, who did not deem- it
advisable to allow such a handsome wife to be
seen by strangers. There were, however, sev-
eral ladies at table ; among others, a certain com-
modore's wife, a white cow with black spots :
next to her sat a black cat, wife to the master of
hunt at court, newly arrived from the country.
At my side was placed a speckled sow, the lady
of a renovation-inspector : that species of officer-
ship being generally taken from the hog-race.
It must be observed that the inhabitants of the
Mezendoric empire, although they are animals in
figure, have hands and fingers on the fore feet.

After dinner the speckled sow entered into
conversation with our interpreter, during which
she told him that she was overhead and ears in
love with me. He comforted her in the best
manner he could, and promised her his support
and aid ; then he turned himself towards me and

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 121

endeavored to persuade me to be easy ; but when
he observed that his flattering and arguments
were vain, he advised me to take to flight, as he
knew that . this lady would move heaven and
earth to satisfy her desires. From this time I
remained constantly on board ; but the ship
itself was not a fortification sufficiently secure
from the attacks of this lady, who by messengers
and love-letters strove to melt the ice that sur-
rounded my heart. Had I not, in the ship-
wreck I afterwards suffered, lost my papers, I
should now give some specimens of the swine's
poetry. I have forgotten it all, except the fol-
lowing lines, in which she praises her being
thus:

O them ! for whom my too fond soul most ardently doth

thirst,

f For whom my earliest passion, in retirement I have nursed :
Think not my figure homely, though it be endued in

bristles, —
What beauty hath the leafless tree, through which the cold

wind whistles ?
How unadorned the noble horse, when of his beauteous

mane he's shorn !
0 ! who would love a purring cat, all in her furlessness

forlorn.

Ah, look around my darling pig ! look on all living things,
11

122 NAKRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

From the huge unwieldly mammoth to the smallest bird that

sings ; —
Were these not shagged or feathered all, how loudly should

we jeer ; —
Who would warmly strive to please e'en man, were man

without a beard ?

After our truck was finished and a rich freight
stowed away, we sailed for home. We had
scarcely got into the open sea when it suddenly
became calm, but soon after the wind breezed
up. Having sailed awhile with a good wind,
we saw again some mermaids, who

— dripping wet
Shot forth , and dived between the foaming waves,

and now and then emitted horrible shrieks.
The sailors were much terrified at this, for they
knew by experience, that these mournful sounds
were presages of storm and wreck. They had
scarcely taken in the sails, before the whole
heavens became veiled in black clouds :

Day sinks in night : all nature shudders.
Then, in an instant, loose from every point
The storm, in frightful gusts and devilish uproar
Breaks ; the axis of the globe grates fearful, —
And thunders, clap on clap, resound the concave :
The waves, din-maddened, tower to mountains.
Wildly, gone her helm, the half-crushed craft

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 123

Tumbles ungovernable. Now despairing shrieks
Mingling with ocean's roar and crash of heaven,
Rise from the peopled deck : 'tis finished !

Every movable thing on deck floated off, for
besides the ever-rolling billows, an immense rain
fell in terrific water-spouts, accompanied by
thunder and lightning. It seemed as though all
the elements had conspired for our destruction.
During the rolling of the ship,?our masts were
carried away, and then all hope of salvation was
gone. Now and then a huge billow rolled over
us, and carried with it one or two men far
beyond the ship. The storm raged more and
more ; no one cared longer for the vessel : with-
out helm, without masts, without captain and
mates, who had been washed overboard, the
wreck lay at the pleasure of the waves. Having
floated thus for three days, a bauble for the
storm, we finally descried a mountainous land
in the distance. While rejoicing in the hope of
soon reaching this haven, our vessel struck so
hard against a blind rock, that she was instantly
dashed in pieces. In the confusion and terror
of the moment I got hold of a plank, and, care-
less for the rest, thought only upon saving

124 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

myself, so that even now I know nothing of the
fate of my companions. I was quickly driven
forth by the billows ; and this was fortunate for
me, for otherwise I should have been crushed
among the timbers of the ship or torn in pieces
by the jagged rocks upon which we had been
cast, or escaping this should eventually have
perished from hunger and fatigue. I was wafted
by the waves within a cape, where the sea was
calmer, and where the roaring of the excited
ocean sounded less frightfully. When I saw
that I was near the shore, I began to scream
vigorously, hoping to call the inhabitants to my
assistance. I soon heard a sound on the sea-
shore, and saw some of the natives come from a
wood near by ; they got into a yawl and sailed
towards me ; this boat being curiously fashioned
of ozier and oak-branches twisted together, I
concluded that this people must be very wild
and uncultivated. I was heartily glad, when I
found them to be men, for they were the first
human beings I had met during the whole
voyage. They are very like the inhabitants of
our globe, who live in hot climates ; their beards
are black and their hair curled ; the few among

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

125

them who have long and light hair, are consid-
ered monsters. The land which they inhabit is
very rocky : from the curved ridges of the rocks
and the connecting tops of the mountains, which
cut the air in multiplied sinuosities, every sound
reverberates in echo upon echo from the dates
below. The people in the yawl approached the
plank upon which I floated, drew me from it,
carried me to the shore, and gave me to eat and
drink. Although the food did not taste very
good, yet as I had fasted for three days, it
refreshed me very much, and in a short time I
regained my former strength.

11*

CHAPTER XII.

THE AUTHOR'S ARRIVAL IN QUA1A.

MEANWHILE a large multitude of people col-
lected around me from all parts. They requested
me to speak ; but as I did not understand their
language I could not answer them. They
repeated often the word Dank, Dank, and sup-
posing them to be Germans, I addressed them in
this language, then in Danish, and finally in
Latin; but they signified to me, by shaking
their heads, that these languages were unknown
to them. I tried at last to declare myself in the
subterranean tongues, namely, in Nazaric and
Martini anic ; but it was in vain.

•*•

NARRATIVE OF NIELS *KLIM. 127

After having addressed each other, thus incom-
prehensibly for a long time, I was carried to a
small hut, formed of wickers intricately twisted.
In this hut were neither chairs nor tables ; these
people seat themselves on the ground to eat ;
instead of beds they spread straw on the earthy
floor, upon which they throw themselves inde-
scriminately at night. Their food is milk, cheese,
barley-bread and meat, which they rudely broil
on the coals ; for they do not understand cook-
ing. Thus I lived with them, like a dog, until
I learned so much of their language, that I could
speak with them and assist them a little in their
ignorance. The simplest rules of living that I
prepared for them were considered as divine
commands. My fame soon spread abroad, and
all the villages around sent forth crowds to a
teacher, who, they believed, had been sent to
them from heaven. I heard even, that some
had commenced a new chronology from the date
of my arrival. All this pleased me only so
much the more, as formerly in Nazar I had been
abused for my imprudence and wavering judg-
ment, and in Martinia despised and commiserated
for my ignorance. True, indeed, is the old

128 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

proverb ; that among the blind the one-eyed
rules. I had now come to a land, where with
little understanding, I could raise myself to
the highest dignities. There were here the best
opportunities to employ my talents, since this
fruitful land produced in abundance whatever
subserved for pleasure and luxury as well as use-
fulness and comfort. The inhabitants were not
indocile nor were they wanting in conception ;
but since they had been blessed with no light
without themselves, they groped in the thickest
darkness. When I told them of my birth, my
native land, of the shipwreck I had suffered, and
of other occurrences in my voyages, not one
would credit me. They thought rather that I
was an inhabitant of the sun, and had come
down to enlighten them, wherefore they called
me Pikil-Su, that is the sun's ambassador. For
their religion, they believed in and acknowl-
edged a God, but cared not at all to prove his
existence. They thought it enough for them
that their forefathers had believed the same ;
and this blind submission to time-honored for-
mulae was their simple and sole theology. Of
the moral law, they were ignorant of all com-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 129

mandments save this : Do not unto others that
which you would not have others do unto you.
They had no laws ; the will of the emperor was
their only rule. Of chronology they had but a
slight conception ; their years were determined
by the eclipses of the sun by Nazar's interven-
tion. Were one asked his age, he would an-
swer : that he had attained so many eclipses.
Their knowledge of natural science too, was
very unsatisfactory and unreasonable ; they
believed the sun to be a plate of gold, and the
planet Nazar, a cheese. Their property con-
sisted in hogs, which, after marking, they drove
into the woods : the wealth of each was deter-
mined by the number of his swine.

I applied myself, with all the fervor imagina-
ble, to refine and enlighten this rude, yet prom-
ising people, so that shortly I came to be regarded
among them as a saint ; their trust in my wisdom
was so great, that they thought nothing impossi-
ble with me. Therefore, when overtaken by
misfortune, they would hasten to my hut and
pray for my assistance. Once I found a peasant
on his knees before my door, weeping, and bit-
terly complaining over the unfruitfulness of his

130 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

trees, and beseeching me to use my authority,
that his trees should bear fruit to him abundantly,
as of old.

I had heard that this whole country was gov-
erned by a Regent, whose residence, or palace, at
that time, was about eight days' travel from the
town where I lived. I say at that time, because
the court dwelt, not in substantial, fixed houses,
but in tents ; and the residence was moved at
pleasure from one province to another. The
ruler at that period was an old man, named Cas-
ba, which signifies, the great emperor. In con-
sideration of its many large provinces, this coun-
try was indeed a great empire ; but, from the
ignorance of the inhabitants, who made little use
of their many natural advantages, and also from
the absence of that unanimity among the prov-
inces, which would have dignified and strength-
ened their counsels, and subserved for their mu-
tual protection, they were exposed to the attacks
and mockeries of their mere vigorous neighbors,
and not unfrequently obliged to pay tribute to
nations much inferior to themselves.

The report of my name and power was
spread in a short time even to the remotest prov-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 131

inces. Nothing could be done without consult-
ing me, as an oracle, and when any undertaking
miscarried, its failure was ascribed to my indif-
ference or indignation ; wherefore, oblations were
frequently made to assuage my anger. Finally
the rumor was carried to the ears of the old em-
peror, that a great man had come into his domin-
ions, in a strange dress, who gave himself out
as ambassador of the sun, and had proved him-
self more than man, by bestowing to the Q,uam-
ites (thus the inhabitants were called, after the
name of the land, Quama,) wise and almost di-
vine rules of life. He therefore sent ambassadors,
with orders to invite me to the imperial resi-
dence. These were thirty in number, all clothed
in tiger-skins, this dress being considered in Q,ua-
ma the greatest of ornaments, since none were
permitted to wear it, but those who had distin-
guished themselves in war against the Tana-
quites, a nation of sensible tigers, and the mortal
enemies of the Q,uamites.

I had built, in the town where I dwelt, a walled
house, after the European style. At the sight of
it, the imperial ambassadors were astonished, and
exclaimed that it was a work beyond human

•*•— •*•

132 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL7M.

powers ; they entered it, as a sanctuary, with
devout reverence, and there proclaimed to me
the emperor's invitation in the following speech :
" Since the great emperor, our most gracious
lord, reckons his genealogy through manifold
generations, from Spunko, the sun's son, the pri-
mary regent of duama, nothing could surprise
him more agreeably than this embassy ; where-
fore his majesty joyfully greets the ambassador
of the sun, and humbly invites him to the capi-
tal city of the empire." I answered by express-
ing my most humble thanks for the emperor's
condescension, and immediately repaired, with
the ambassadors, to the capital. These lords
had been fourteen days on their journey to me,
but assisted by my genius, the return occupied
only four days.

I had observed, during my residence in this
country, that there were vast numbers of horses
running wild in the woods, and hence rather
burthensome than useful to the inhabitants. I
showed to the people how beneficial these ani-
mals might be made to them, and taught them
how to tame these noble creatures. At my sug-
gestion and by my direction, a number of them

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 133

were caught and broken in, and thus I was ena-
bled to mount the ambassadors, and materially
shorten the period of our journey.

No idea can be formed of the wonder and
astonishment with which the Quamites wit-
nessed our entry into the city ; some were so
frightened that they ran far into the country.
The emperor himself dared not, in his fear, come
out from his tent, nor would he stir, until one of
the ambassadors, dismounting his horse, went in
and explained the whole secret to him. Shortly
I was, with a great retinue, led into the imperial
tent. The old emperor was seated on a carpet
surrounded by his courtiers. On my entrance, I
acknowledged, in the most polite terms, the ex-
ceeding grace his imperial majesty had shown me ;
thereupon the emperor arose and asked me what
the king of the sun, and father of his family pro- ,
posed to do. Conceiving it politic, and even
necessary not to undeceive the duamites in the
opinion they themselves first entertained, I an-
swered : that his majesty, the king of the sun,
had sent me down to this land to refine, by good
laws and salutary rules of life, the uncultivated
manners of the Quamites, and teach them the

12

134

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

arts, through which they might not only resist
and repel their valiant and energetic neighbors,
but even extend the boundaries of their own
empire ; and added, that I had been ordered to
remain with them forever. The emperor listen-
ed to this speech with much apparent pleasure,
ordered a tent to be immediately raised for me
near his own, gave me fifteen servants, and
treated me less as a subject than as an intimate
friend.

CHAPTER XIII.

THE BEGINNING OF THE FIFTH MONARCHY.

FROM this time all my exertions were directed
to the accomplishment of a radical reform
throughout the country. I commenced by im-
proving their mode of warfare, in exercising the
young men in riding, fencing and shooting.
My constant labor was rewarded so well that, in
a short time, I exhibited before the emperor six
thousand horsemen.

At this period the Tanquites were preparing
for a new attack upon the Qtuamites, on account
of the refusal of this latter people to pay a yearly

136 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

tribute which had been several times demanded
and as often denied. I went, at the emperor's
desire, with my cavalry and some footmen to
meet the invaders. To the infantry I gave
javelins and arrows, that they might fight their
enemies at a distance ; for the Quamites had
formerly used only short swords or poignards,
and consequently were obliged to meet in close
combat their frightful foes, the Tanaquites, who
excelling them greatly in personal strength, had
great advantage over them. Hearing that the
enemy were approaching the boundary, as com-
mander-in-chief, I repaired instantly towards
them. On meeting the invaders I caused the
footmen to attack them with their javelins ; this
put them into panic and flight, and determined the
fate of the day. The enemy suffered a terrible
defeat and the Tanaquitic leader, with twenty
other noble tigers, were taken prisoners alive
and carried in triumph to Quama. It is not
possible to describe the general and tumultuous
joy that filled the whole country for this glorious
victory ; because in former wars the Quamites
had generally been obliged to lay down their
arms. The emperor commanded the prisoners
. *

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

137

to be immediately executed, according to old
custom ; but considering this a horrible custom,
I persuaded him to respite them, and put them
in prison for further deliberation.

I had observed that this land was very rich in
saltpetre, and had collected a considerable quan-
tity for the purpose of making powder. This
intention I had kept secret, however, from all
except the emperor, whose permission I needed
to establish manufactories for rifles and other
guns. With the aid of these I hoped in a short
time to subdue all the enemies of the empire.
When I had finished some hundred rifles and
prepared balls suitable for them, I made a trial
of my project to the astonishment of all. A cer-
tain number of soldiers were selected to learn
this military art, and were exercised in the
management of the guns. When this body of
soldiers had become accustomed to the use of
these new engines of war, and could employ
them effectively, a review was held, after which
the emperor proclaimed me Jakal, that is, gene-
ralissimo over the whole army. While all these
matters were pending, I. had entered into an

intimate friendship with the brave leader of the
12*

138 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

Tanaquites, the imprisoned Tomopoloko, with
whom I held frequent and interesting conversa-
tions, with the object of learning the constitu-
tion, character, and customs of his nation. I
could not but observe, to my great astonishment,
that they were a witty, moral and enlightened
people, and that the sciences were earnestly and
effectively cultivated by them. The chief told
me, that towards the east were a valorous people,
against whose attacks, the Tanaquites were
obliged to keep themselves always prepared.
The inhabitants of that country, he added, were
small, and in reality much inferior in bodily
strength to those of Tanaquis ; but being of
superior acuteness and agility, and excellent
bowmen, they had in fact, often forced the
Tanaquites to sue for peace.

I soon came to know, that this formidable
nation consisted of cats ; and that they had
distinguished themselves among all the nations
under the firmament, for their rational judg-
ment and political acumen. It provoked and
pained me not a little, that skilfulness, the
sciences, and polite manners, should be univer-
sally among the animals of the subterranean

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 139

world, while only real human beings, namely,
the Quamites were sunk to the profoundest
depths of uncultivated barbarism. I consoled
myself, however, in the hope that, through my
endeavors, this shame would soon cease, and
the Qiiamites would recover that dominion,
which belonged to them as men over all other
animals.

Since their last defeat, the Tanaquites kept
very quiet for a long time ; but when they found
out the nature and condition of our cavalry ;
when they discovered that those centaurs, who
had frightened them so terribly at first, were
nothing in reality, but tamed horses with men
seated upon them, they took courage and armed
new troops against the Quamites, under the
command of their king. Their whole army
consisted of twenty thousand tigers, all veteran
soldiers, heroes of many hard fought fields,
except two regiments of new recruits ; these
hastily collected warriors were, however, more
formidable in name and numbers than in service.
Already sure of victory, they fell at once upon
Q,uama. I immediately ordered against them
twelve thousand infantry, among whom were six

140- NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

hundred musketeers, and four thousand horse-
men. As I had not the slightest doubt of a for-
tunate termination to this expedition, I requested
the emperor to take command of it, and thus
reap the honor of the victory. By this appear-
ance of modesty, I lost no respect, for the whole
army still considered me the true leader. I first
directed my cavalry against the enemy, but
these were resisted with so much vigor, that
the side of victory was for a long time doubt-
ful: at the critical moment, when triumph
was vacillating between the two powers, I
detached my musketeers from the main body
and advanced upon the foe. The Tanaquites
were much astonished at the first shots, for they
could not conceive whence came the thunder
and lightning ; but when they saw the mournful
effects of our continued volleys, they became
terrified ; at the first discharge fell about two
hundred tigers, among which were two chaplains,
who were shot down while encouraging the
soldiers to bravery. When I observed the panic
among the enemy, I commanded a second dis-
charge, whose results were more fatal than the
former ; their king himself was shot : then the

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 141

Tanaquites took to flight ; our cavalry followed
them, and cut down so many of the flying multi-
tude, that those in the rear could not proceed
from the huge piles of slain that covered the
way. When the battle was over, we counted
the killed of the enemy and found them to be
thirteen thousand : our own loss was com-
paratively very slight. The victorious army
marched into the kingdom of Tanaqui and en-
camped before its capital. The general terror
had meanwhile increased so much, that the
magistrates submissively met the conquerors and
delivered the keys of the city. The capital
surrendering, the whole country soon followed
its example. The disregard and contempt in
which the Quamites had to this time been held,
were changed to admiration arid fear : the em-
pire, with the addition of the newly conquered
kingdom, was extended to twice its former size.
The glory of these actions was with one voice
ascribed to my superior knowledge and untiring
industry ; and the esteem which had been long
cherished for me, now passed over to a reverent
and divine worship. This period of general
peace and exultation, I thought a fitting time to

142 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M.

advance the civilization and refinement of the
Quamites, and as a practical commencement to
this great work I ordered the royal Tanaquitic
library to be moved to Q,uama.

My curiosity to become acquainted with this
library had been at first excited by the impris-
oned leader Tomopoloko, who told me that
among its manuscripts was one, whose author
had been up to our globe, in which history
of his travels he had described several of its
kingdoms, particularly those of Europe. The
Tanaquites had seized this manuscript during
one of their predatory excursions into a distant
land ; but as the author had concealed his name,
they knew not what countryman he was, nor in
what manner he had passed up through the
earth. The quaint title of this book was :
" Tanian's* Travels Above-ground ; being a
description of the kingdoms and countries there,
especially those of Europe." From the antiq-
uity of this work together with its great popu-
larity, it had become so ragged, that what I was
most anxious to learn, namely, the narration of

* This name is taken to be predicated.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. , 143

the author's journey to our earth and hie return,
was most unfortunately lost. Here is the con-
tents of this singular manuscript, such as I found
it:

" Fragments of Tanian's Diary, kept on a Voyage above-
ground, Translated by his Excellency, M. Tomopoloko,
General-in-chief, in the Service of his Tanaquitic majesty."

*******
" This land (Germany) was called the Roman
empire ; but it has been an empty title, since the
Roman monarchy was demolished several centu-
ries since. The language of this land is not
to understand, on account of its perverted
style ; for, what in other languages is placed
— Jaefore, in this comes after, so that the mean-
4»g cannot be had before a whole page is read
through. The form of government is very
inconsistent ;°™^° ftlink tfj°y ^B^fl ft yeffePt and
yet have none ; it should be an empire, yet it is
divided into several duchies, each of which
lias its own government, and often engages in a
formal war with its neighbor. The whole land
is called 'holy,' although there is not to be
found in it the least trace of piety. The regent,
or more correctly the unregent, who bears the

144 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

name of emperor, is denominated ' the continual
augmenter of his country,' although he not
seldom diminishes it ; ' invincible,' notwithstand-
ing he is often slain : sometimes by the French,
sometimes by the Turks. One has no less
reason to wonder at the people's rights and liber-
ties ; but although they have many rights, they
are forbidden to use them. Innumerable com-
mentaries have been written upon the German
constitution, but notwithstanding this, they have
made no advance because

*******
" The capital of this country (France) is
called Paris, and is very large, and may in a
certain degree be considered the capital of all
Europe ; for it exercises a peculiar law-giving
power over the whole continent. It has, for
example, the exclusive right to prescribe the
universal mode of dress and living ; and no style
of dress, however inconvenient or ridiculous,
may be controverted after the Parisians have
once established it. How or when they obtained
this prescriptive right is unknown to me. I
observed, however, that this dominion did not
extend to other things; for the other nations

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

145

often make war with the French, and not
seldom force them to sue for peace on very hard
terms ; but subservience in dress and living nev-
ertheless continues. In quickness of judgment,
inquisitiveness after news, and fruitfulness of
discovery, the French are much like the Mar-
tinians.

" From Bologna we went to Rome. This
latter city is governed by a priest, who is held
to be the mightiest of the kings and rulers of
Europe, although his possessions may be trav-
elled through in one day. Beyond all other
regents, who only have supremacy over their
subjects' lives and goods, he can govern souls.
The Europeans generally believe that this priest
has in his possession the keys of heaven. I was
very curious to see these keys, but all my en-
deavors were in vain. His power, not only
ever his own subjects, but the whole_ human

^ consists principally in that he can abartbra

those whom God condemns, and condemn, those
whom God absolves: an immense authority.
which the inhabitants of our subterranean world
seriously believe is not becoming to any mortal

13

146 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

man. But it is an easy matter to induce the
Europeans to credit the most unreasonable as-
sertions, and submit to the most high-handed
assumptions, notwithstanding they consider
themselves alone sensible and enlightened, and,
puffed up with their foolish conceits, look con-
temptuously upon all other nations, whom they
call barbarous.

" I will not, by any means, defend our subter-
ranean manners and institutions : my purpose
simply is, to examine those of the Europeans,
and show how little claim these people have to
find fault with other nations.

" It is customary, in some parts of Europe, to
powder the hair and clothes with ground and
sifted corn ; the same which nature has produced
for the nourishment of man. This flour is
called hair-powder. It is combed out with great
care at night, preparatory to afresh sprinkling in
the morning. There is another custom with
them, which did not appear less ridiculous to
me. They have certain coverings for the head,
called hats, made ostensibly, to protect the head
from the weather, but which, instead of being
used for this very reasonable purpose, are gen-

*

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 147

erally worn under the arm, even in the winter.
This seemed as foolish to me as would the
instance of one's walking through the city with
his cloak or breeches in his hand ; thus expos-
ing his body, which these should cover, to the
severity of the weather.

" The doctrines of European religion are ex-
cellent and consistent with sound reason. In
their books of moral law they are commanded
to read the Christian precepts often ; to search
into their true meaning, and are advised to be
indulgent with the weak and erring. Neverthe-
less, should any understand one or another doc-
trine of these books in any but the established
sense, they would be imprisoned, lashed, yes,
and even burned for their want of judgment.
This seemed to me the same case, as if one
should be punished for a blemish in sight,
through which he saw that object scaiare which
others believed to be round. I was told that
some thousand people had been executed by
hanging or burning, for their originality of
thought.

" In most cities and villages are to be found
certain persons standing in high places, who

148 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

animadvert severely upon the sins of others,
which they themselves commit daily : this
seemed to me as sensible as the preaching of
temperance by a drunkard.

"In the larger towns, it is almost generally
the' fashion to invite one's guests, immediately
after meals, to imbibe a kind of sup made from
burnt beans, which they call coffee. To the
places where this is drunk, they are drawn in a
great box on four wheels, by two very strong
animals ; for the higher classes of Europeans
hold it to be very indecent to move about on
their feet.

" On the first day of the year, the Europeans
are attacked by a certain disease, which we
subterraneans know nothing of. The symptoms
of this malady are a peculiar disturbance of the
mind and agitation of the head ; its effects are
that none can remain, on that day, five minutes
in one place. They run furiously from one
house to another, with no appreciable reason.
This disease continues with many even fourteen
days ; until at last, they become weary of their
eternal gadding, check themselves and regain
their former health.

NARRATIVE Or NIELS KLIM. 149

" In France, Italy and Spain, the people lose
their reason for some weeks, in the winter
season. This delirium is moderated by strew-
ing ashes on the foreheads of the sufferers. In
the northern parts of Europe, to which this
disease sometimes extends, and where the ashes
have no power, nature is left to work the cure.

" It is the custom with most Europeans, to
enter into a solemn compact with God, in the pre-
sence of witnesses, three or four times a year,
which they invariably and immediately break.
This compact is called ' communion,' and seems
to have been established only to show that the
Europeans are used to break their promises
several times each year. They confess their
sins and implore the mercy of God, in certain
melodies, accompanied by instrumental music.
As the magnitude of their sins increases, their
music becomes louder: thus fluters, trumpeters
and drummers are favorite helpers to devotion.

" Almost all the nations of Europe are obliged
to acknowledge and believe in the doctrines,
which are contained in a certain * holy book.'
At the south the reading of this book is entirely

forbidden ; so that the people are forced to credit
13*

150 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

what they dare not read ; in these same regions,
it is likewise austerely forbidden to worship
God, except in a language incomprehensible to
the people ; so that, only those prayers are held
to be lawful and pleasing to God, which are
uttered from memory, without comprehen-
sion.

" The learned controversies which occupy the
European academies, consist in the discussion of
matters, the development of which is productive
of no benefit, and in the examination of phe-
nomena, the nature of which is beyond the
reach of the human mind. The most serious
study of a European scholar, is the considera-
tion of a pair of old boots, the slippers, necklaces
and gowns of a race long extinct. Of the
sciences, both worldly and divine, none judge
for themselves, but subscribe blindly to the
opinions of a few. The decisions of these,
when once established, they cling to, like
oysters to the rocks. They select a few from
their number whom they call, ' wise,' and
credit them implicitly. Now, there would be
nothing to object against this, could raw and
ignorant people decide in this case ; but to

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M. 151

decide concerning wisdom requires, methinks, a
certain degree of sapience in the judge.

" In the southern countries, certain cakes are
carried about, which the priests set up for Gods ;
the most curious part of this matter is, the
bakers themselves, while the dough yet cleaves
to their fingers, will swear that these cakes have
created heaven and earth.

" The English prefer their liberty to all else,
and are not slaves, except to their wives. To-
day they reject that religion, which yesterday
they professed. I ascribe this fickleness to the
situation of their country; they are islanders
and seamen, and probably become affected by
the variable element that surrounds them. They
inquire very often after each other's health, so
that one would suppose them to be all doctors ;
but the question : how do you do ? is merely a
form of speech ; a sound without the slightest
signification.

" Towards the north, is a republic, consisting
of seven provinces. These are called ' united,'
notwithstanding there is not to be found the
least trace of union among them. The mob
boast of their power, and insist upon their right

152 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

to dispose of state affairs ; but no where is the
commonalty more excluded from such matters ;
the whole government being in the hands of
some few families.

" The inhabitants of this republic he-'p up great
riches with anxious and unwearied vigilance,
which, however, they do not enjoy : their purses
are always full, their stomachs always empty.
One would almost believe they lived on smoke,
which they continually suck through tubes or
pipes, made of clay. It must, nevertheless, be
confessed, that these people surpass all others in
cleanliness ; for they wash everything but their
hands.

" Every land has its own laws and customs,
which are usually opposed to each other. For
example ; by law, the wife is subject to the
husband ; by custom, the husband is ruled by
the wife.

" In Europe, the superfluous members of
society only are respected ; these devour not
only the fruits of the land but the land itself.
The cultivators of the soil, who feed these
gorges are degraded for their industry and de-
spised for their usefulness.

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 153

" The prevalence of vice and crime in Europe
may perhaps be fairly inferred from the great
number of gallows and scaffolds to be seen
everywhere. Each town has its own execu-
tioner. I must, for justice sake, clear England
from this stigma ; I believe there are no public
murderers in that country : the inhabitants
hang themselves.

" JHaaTe" a kind of suspicion that the Euro-
peans are cannibals ; for they shut large flocks
of healthful and strong persons in certain inclo-
sures, called cloisters, for the purpose of making
them fat and smooth. This object seldom fails,
as these prisoners, free from all labor and care,
have nothing to do but to enjoy themselves in
these gardens of pleasure.

" Europeans commonly drink water in the
morning to cool their stomachs j this object
accomplished, they drink brandy to heat them
again.

"In Europe are two principal sects in reli-
gion ; the Roman catholic and the protestant.
The protestants worship but one God ; the
catholics, several. Each city and village, with
these, has its appropriate God or Goddess. All

154 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

these deities are created by the pope, or superior
priest at Rome, who, on his part, is chosen by
certain other priests, called cardinals. The
mighty power of these creators of the creator
of the gods, does not, as it would seem to
an indifferent spectator, apparently alarm the
people.

" The ancient inhabitants of Italy subdued
the whole world, and obeyed their wives ; the
present, on the contrary, abuse their wives and
submit to the whole world.

" The Europeans generally feed upon the
same victuals with the subterraneans. The
Spaniards alone live on the air.

" Commerce flourishes here and there ; many
things are offered for sale in Europe, which with
us are never objects of trade. Thus in Rome,
people sell heaven : in Switzerland, themselves ;
and in ******* ? the crown,
sceptre arid throne are offered at public auction.

" In Spain, idleness is the true mark of a
well-bred man ; and the distinguishing proof of
pure nobility is an aptitude to sleep.

" Among European writers, those are in the
highest repute, who change the natural order of
-*•

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M. 155

words, making that which is in itself simple and
distinct, intricate and incomprehensible. The
class most noted for this abominable perversion
of style is that of the l poets : ' this singular
removal of words is called •' poetry.' The capa-
bility to puzzle is by no means the only requi-
site to become a true poet ; one must be able to
lie most terribly. A certain old poet named
Homerus, who possessed both these qualities in
an eminent degree, is styled the 'master,' and
is idolized with a kind of divine worship. He
has had many imitators of his distortion of
sentences and falsification of truth ; but, it is
said, none have yet reached his excellence.

" The cultivators of science purchase books
in great quantities, not so much, I am told, for
the sake of the contents, as for their antiqueness
of style or elegance of binding.

The learned and unlearned are distinguished
from each other by different dresses and man-
ners j but especially by different religions : the
latter believe mostly in one God ; the former
worship many divinities, both male and female.
Among the principal of these are, Apollo,
Minerva, and nine muses ; besides many lesser

156 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KUM.

whole and half Gods. The poets particularly
implore their aid and l hail ' them when they
take a notion to rage.

" The learned are divided, according to their
different studies into the classes of philosophers,
poets, grammarians, natural philosophers, meta-
physicians, &c.

"A philosopher is a scientific tradesman,
who, for a certain price, sells prescriptions of
self-denial, temperance and poverty ; he generally
preaches the pains of wealth, till he becomes
rich himself, when he abandons the world for a
comfortable and dignified retreat. The father
of the philosophers, Seneca, is said to have col-
lected royal wealth.

" A poet is one who makes a great stir with
printed prattle, falsehood and fury. Madness is
the characteristic of the true poet. All those
who express themselves, with clearness, precision
and simplicity are deemed unworthy of the
laurel wreath.

" The grammarians are a sort of military body,
who disturb the public peace. They are distin-
guished from all other warriors, by dress and
weapons. They wear black instead of colored

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 157

uniforms, and wield pens rather than swords.
They fight with as much obstinacy for letters
and words as do the others for liberty and
father-land.

"A natural philosopher is one who searches
into the bowels of the earth, studies the nature
of animals, worms and insects, and, in a word, is
familiar with every thing, but himself.

"A metaphysician is a sort of philosopher,
partly visionary and partly sceptical, who sees
what is concealed from all others. He describes
the being and unfolds the nature of souls and
spirits, and knows both what is, and what is
not. From the acuteness of his sight, the meta-
physician cannot discern what lies directly
betore his feet.

" I have thus briefly considered the condition
of the learned republic in Europe. I could
relate many other things, but I think I have
given the reader a sufficient test, by which he
may judge how far the Europeans have a right
to hold themselves preeminent for wisdom.

" The people above-ground are exceedingly
pious, and extraordinarily zealous in praying.

Their prayers, however, do not arise from the
14

158

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

j impulses and emotions of their hearts,; but are
subdued to mere matters of form, directed by
bells, clocks or sun-dials. Their devotion is
entirely mechanical, founded on external signs
and old customs rather than in sincere feeling.

"When I came to Italy, I fancied myself
master over the whole country ; for every one
called himself my slave. I took a notion to test
the extent of this humble obedience, and com-
manded my landlord to lend me his wife for a
night ; he became very angry, however, at this,
and ordered me out of his house.

" In the north, there are many people who
seek with great pains to obtain titles of offices
which they do not hold ; and many lose their
reason in their eagerness to be on the right side.

Furthermore,"

*******

Here I lost my patience. Inflamed to the
utmost fury, I threw the book on the ground,
and assured Tomopoloko, who was by me, that
it was the fiction of an unjust and choleric
writer. When my first passion was cooled, I
reviewed my sentence, and finally concluded

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIAI. 159

that the author of these travels, although unfair
and untrue in many particulars, had nevertheless
made some good points and happy reflections.

I will now return to civil affairs. All our
neighbors had kept very quiet for a long period,
and during this peace I made every effort to
constitute the government according to my own
notions, and strengthen the army in numbers
and efficiency.

Suddenly, we received information that three
warlike and formidable nations, namely, the
Arctonians, Kispusiananians and Alectorians,
had united against the Gluamites. The first
named were bears gifted with reason and speech.
The Kispusiananians were a nation of large
cats celebrated for their cunning and ferocity.
The Alectorians were cocks, armed with bows
and arrows. These arrows with poisoned tips, ,
were cast with wonderful precision, and their
least touch was fatal.

These three nations had been irritated by the
uncommon progress of the Quamites as well as
by the fall of the Tanaquites. The allied
powers sent ambassadors to Q,uama, to demand
the liberty of the imprisoned Tanaquitians and

160 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

the cession of their land, with power to declare
war should the same be denied. By my advice,
they were immediately dismissed with the fol-
lowing answer : " Since the Tanaquitians, vio-
lators of peace and alliance, have deserved the
misery which they have brought upon them-
selves by their own folly and pride, his majesty ;
the emperor, is determined to defend, to the
utmost, the possessions of a land, conquered in a
lawful war, in spite of the threats and fearless
of the strength of your unnatural alliance."

In a short time I had an army of forty thou-
sand men ready for the coming war: among
these were eight thousand horsemen and two
thousand riflemen. The emperor, old as he
was, determined to follow this campaign ; his
eagerness and ambition were so great, that
neither his wife's representations nor mine were
effective enough to induce him to abandon this
intention.

In this state of affairs, I was made somewhat
uneasy from mistrust of the Tanaquitians. I
feared that, impatient of their unaccustomed
slavery, they would take the first opportunity
to throw off their yoke, and go over to the

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 161

enemy. I did not deceive myself: for immedi-
ately after the declaration of war, we heard that
full twelve thousand Tanaquitians in complete
armor, had marched for the enemy's encamp-
ment. Thus were we occupied at once with
four mighty foes.

In the beginning of the month Kilian, we
commenced our march. From a spy, we learnt
that the united troops had already besieged the
fort Sibol in Tanaqni. on the borders of Kispu-
siania. On our arrival before the place, they
abandoned the siege and prepared to meet us.
The battle took place in a dale near the fort, and
is to this day called the " Sibolic battle."

The Arctonians, who formed their left wing/
made great havoc among our cavalry ; and, sup-
ported by the rebellious Tanaquites, fell furi-
ously on our right ; a moment longer and the
fate of the conflict would have been deter-
mined. I detached a body of riflemen to en-
gage the attention of the enemy, and allow the
cavalry to recover ; this movement was very
effective ; the men handled their guns well, and
the enemy hastily abandoned their ground,

under a terrific shower of balls. Meanwhile,
14*

162 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

the Kispusiananians on the other side pressed our
infantry very hard ; six hundred Qimmites were
down : some killed, others mortally wounded.
The recovered cavalry now rushed upon them
impetuously, broke their ranks, and, unresisted,
slaughtered them by thousands.

The Alectorians, who formed the reserve,
gave us the greatest trouble, for when our
soldiers would attack them, they flew into the
air, whence they shot on our heads their poi-
soned arrows. One of these entered the neck
of the old emperor, while fighting vigorously in
the midst of the field. He fell directly from his
horse, was carried to his tent, and shortly after
expired. The soldiers having been kept in
ignorance of their sovereign's death, the battle
was continued until midnight. I soon found
that our balls had but little effect upon our
flying enemies ; their motions being so rapid
that our gunners could take no aim. Some
new method must be devised to check them ; a
lucky expedient occurred to me ; I ordered the
guns to be loaded with small shot : these scatter-
ing, brought them down in great flocks, and
soon half of them were destroyed ; the rest laid

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 163

down their weapons and surrendered. The Arc-
tonians and Kispusiananians quickly followed
their example, and their fortifications were sur-
rendered to our hands.

When all these things were fortunately brought to an end,
Behold then I called together the first among the people, the

eldest,

The heads of all the troops, to Council, in full assembly ;
Like the bubbling ocean's high-roaring billows
They all did stream to me ; and silently heard my speech :

"Noble, brave and celebrated warriors. I
doubt not, that it is well known to the most of
you, that I ofttimes advised his majesty not to
hazard his precious life in this desperate strife.
But his natural courage and fearless heroism
would not suffer him to remain at home, while
his brave people exposed themselves abroad. O,
that he could have witnessed our glorious
victory ! Then our entrance into the imperial
residence would have been a true triumph, and
our joy over so many noble deeds would have
been perfect ; not as now, mingled with torment-
ing sorrow ! I can no longer conceal from you
the mournful event, which has given each one
of us, a greater wound than could all the arrows

*•

164 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

of the enemy. Know then, that our emperor,
in the thickest of the battle, was struck by an
unfortunate arrow, and soon after expired. Hor-
rible event ! What sorrow, what general mourn-
ing will the loss of this great king cause over
the whole country ! Yet, do not lose courage !
The great hero has ceased to live in himself ;
but he is not dead to you ! Your emperor lives
again in two princes, true images of their great
father, and heirs no less to his virtues than to his
dignities. You have not changed your emperor,
but only your emperor's name. Since the prince
Timuso, as the first born, receives the crown, I
am, from this moment, under his sceptre, the
leader of the army.

" Hail, Timuso ! To him let us swear alle-
giance ! To him, let us swear eternal loyalty !
Him, let us all hereafter obey ! "

mmm

CHAPTER XIV.

THE AUTHOR BECOMES A MONARCH UNDER THE
GROUND.

WHEN my speech was ended, they all cried
out with loud voices : " We will have Pikil-Su,
for emperor." When I heard this, I became
terrified, and begged them, with tears in my
eyes, not to forget the fidelity and duty they
owed to the imperial family. But my words
were of.no use. They all approached me, and
placed the crown upon my head, repeating the
above-mentioned exclamation. I was then car-
ried from the tent and proclaimed before the
whole army, emperor of Q,uama, king of Tanqui,

1C6 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

Arctonia and Alectoria, and duke of Kispusiana-
nia. Afterwards we made a triumphal entry
into the capital, where prince Timuso, himself
acknowledged me for emperor. Thus, from a
miserable, shipwrecked wretch, I became a great
and powerful monarch. I soon married the
daughter of the deceased emperor, for the people
still loved and honored the old royal family.
This princess was named Ralac, and

Bloomed, like the new-blown rose
In mellowed, purple-smile.

when I had reduced to order the affairs of the
empire, and firmly established myself on the
throne, I thought of new means, by which I
might extend my dominions, and render my
power fearful to the whole subterranean world.
I turned my attention to a navy, and soon had a
fleet of twenty ships on the sea.

I soon came to regard myself an under-ground
Alexander ; and determined to make myself as
famous as he had on our globe. I concluded to
sail first for Mezendore and thence to Martinia.
We set sail at that period of the year, when
! the planet Nazar is of the middle size, and

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 167

in a few days came in sight of the Mezendoric
coast.

I immediately sent ambassadors to the impe-
rial residence, of whom was demanded in the
name of the emperor,

" What their purpose ; whence they came
Over the foaming billows of the swelling main."

The ambassadors answered :

" Neither misleading stars, deluding winds nor storm
Here brought us ; with voluntary will we steered."

and thereupon delivered to the emperor a letter
of the following contents :

" We, Niels Klim, ambassador of the sun,
emperor in QAiama, king of Tanaqui, Arctonia,
and Alectoria, and duke of Kispusianania, salute
the emperor of Mezendore, Miklopolata. We
humbly make known, that it is concluded in
the unchangeable councils of heaven, that all the
empires and kingdoms of the world must sur-
render themselves to the power of Q,uama ; and
as the will of providence is irrevocable, your
kingdom must necessarily submit to fate. We

168 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

therefore advise you to surrender voluntarily
yourself and your dominions, rather than fool-
ishly resist our invincible phalanx, and thereby
experience all the bloody horrors of war.

"Given from our fleet, the third day in the
month Rimat."

In a few days our ambassadors returned with
a bold and haughty answer. I made a descent
upon the coast, placed my army in battle array,
and sent spies to examine the condition of the
enemy. The spies came back in great haste,
and related that an immense army, of sixty
thousand in number, consisting of lions, tigers,
elephants, bears and birds of prey, was drawing
towards us. We were soon apprised of their
near approach, by roars, shrieks and terrific cries,
commingling a devilish tumult. The combat
soon commenced, and truly, 't was one of the
hottest and most contumaceous, in which I ever
engaged : at last we put them to flight.

In this engagement fell thirty-three thousand
Mezendarians, and about four thousand were
made prisoners. We followed our victory,
and drew before the capital city; this we

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 169

besieged both by land and sea. So energetic
was our blockade, that the enemy quickly pro-
posed a parley, and sent ambassadors to ask for
peace on reasonable conditions. The emperor
offered to me his daughter, the handsomest of
the lionesses, in marriage, and the half of his
empire as a dowry. These conditions, although
very honorable, were very displeasing to me, for
I considered it both unsafe and illicit to forsake
my wife, whom I left behind in pregnancy, and
marry a lioness. I therefore sent back the am-
bassadors without answer.

I now ordered my cannon to be directed
against the wall, which, although built of stone?
was soon rent. The emperor lost all hope and
surrendered himself together with all his lands.
After putting a garrison in the capital, I took the
emperor on board my own ship, and laid my
course for Martinia, the coast of which we
reached after a long but fortunate voyage.

We obtained here the same success as else-
where. When the Martinians submitted, I
determined to include their neighbors under the
same yoke. As I was preparing to effect this,
ambassadors from four adjacent countries arrived,

15

*

170

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

and voluntarily acknowledged allegiance to me.
I now possessed so many kingdoms, that I did not
deem it worth my trouble to ascertaiu the names
of these ; but included them all under the title
of the Martinianic "dominion."

•*--

CHAPTER XV

A SUDDEN CHANGE IN THE FORTUNES OF THE
AUTHOR.

HAVING made so many and extraordinary
warlike excursions, and added to our fleet a
number of Martinianic ships, we set sail for our
own land, into which we entered with a splen-
dor exceeding the old Roman triumphs. And
really my deeds deserved all possible honors ;
for what heroic action could be greater and
more glorious than to change a despised nation,
a nation exposed to. the insults of its weaker
neighbors, to the acknowledged and respected
ruler of the whole subterranean world ? What

172 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

could be more honorable to a man, than to rein-
state the human race in that dominion, which
nature has given to it, over all other animals ?

From this time a new period may be reckoned
in history ; a fifth monarchy can be added to
the glorious roll of splendid empires. To the
Assyrian, Persian, Greek and Roman empires,
the Subterranean-Q,uamatic monarchy, which
unquestionably exceeds them all in magnificence
and power, may not be considered unworthy to
be joined. I could not decline, for obvious
reasons, the title of Koble, or great, with which
the conquered nations saluted me.

I was hailed thereafter, by the following titles :
" Niels the Great, Ambassador of the Sun, Empe-
ror in Qiiama and Mezendore, King of Tanaqui,
Alectoria, Arctonia, the Mezendoric and Martini-
anic dominions, Grand Duke of Kespusianania,
Ruler of Martinia, etc. etc."

firmly founded, stood

The mighty empire ; the favorite of fortune,
I seemed as firmly fixed ; not one, alas !
May be deemed happy 'till his latest hour.

When I had reached this splendid and pow-
erful height, greater than any man should desire,

-*- '•

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 173

I became, what men usually become, who are
raised from a simple state to great honor in the
world. I forgot my former condition, and in-
clined to vanity. Instead of exerting myself to
retain the favor of the people. I proved myself
cruel and rigorous to all classes. My subjects,
whom I had formerly endeared by friendly and
polite conduct, I now regarded and treated as
slaves. For this course, I came soon to be
despised ; the love and reverence of my people
were changed to indifference and fear. Their
sentiments towa-rds me I soon had reason to
understand, when I issued a proclamation to the
inhabitants.

The occasion was this : the empress, whom I
left in pregnancy during my last expedition, had
in my absence been delivered of a son. This
prince I wished to have nominated as my suc-
cessor. I therefore summoned a Diet, and com-
manded the Quamitian nobles and the great
men among the conquered nations, to meet in
the capita], at the crowning of the child. None
dared to disobey this proclamation, and the
coronation passed off with great magnificence ;

but I observed by the countenances of my sub-
15*

174 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

jects, that their joy was dissembled. I became
more confirmed in my mistrust, when I learnt
that a multitude of libels had been spread about.
These libels, by unknown authors, criticised me
very severely, and asserted that prince Timuso
was insulted in the choice of my son. This
enraged me so much that I could not rest
until that noble and excellent prince should be
removed from my path. I therefore suborned
some persons to accuse him of treason ; and
since rulers seldom want assistants, when they
would commit crimes, I was quickly enabled to
prove that Timuso had attempted my life. I
had him sentenced to death by bribed judges,
and then threw him into prison, where he was
privately murdered ; for I feared to excite a
rebellion by a public execution. I had deter-
mined to murder the younger prince likewise ;
but postponed it. His youth procured for
him the safety, which neither my justice nor
humanity would have granted him. Having
once imbued my hands in innocent blood, my
cruelty and moroseness knew no bounds. I
doomed to death several whole families, whose
loyalty I merely suspected. Not a day passed

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 175

without bloodshed. I defiled my soul with the
blood of innocence, virtue and nobleness. All
these things hastened a rebellion, excited by
the nobles, who had been long disgusted with
me.

I will here acknowledge, that I deserved all
the misfortunes that afterwards met me. It had
certainly been more fit for a Christian king to
have taught his ignorant and heathen subjects
to know the true God, and to have given them
an example in my own person of the sweet
charities of the true religion, than to have
excelled, even themselves in barbarity, sin and
moral turpitude. It would have been an easy
matter for me to have reformed the whole sub-
terranean world, for whatever I commanded
was fulfilled ; whatever I determined was
received in perfect good faith ; whenever I
spoke, my words were as those of a God. But
I forgot God and myself; I thought of nothing
but empty arid vain splendor, and the augmenta-
tion of my power ; wherefore I perpetrated many
cruelties, until the people, unable to bear more,
(and they were a1 patient people,) broke out
against me.

176 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

While matters stood thus. I determined to lay
hands on prince Hidoba. This intention I
revealed to my high-chancellor, Kalak, in whom
I had great confidence. He promised to be of
service to me in all things, and departed to fulfil
my order : but at heart, he detested my cowardly
fears, and left me only to discover my plot to
the prince. Together they repaired to the fort,
collected the garrison, and represented, in a
touching manner, their danger and my fears.
The tears of the unfortunate prince gave weight
to his words ; all seized their arms, and promised
that they would hazard their lives for him.
The cunning chancellor took the opportunity to
persuade them to swear loyalty to the prince,
and sent messages to others, who, he knew,
were displeased with me, to take arms against
the tyrant.

All armed themselves, whose hearts, through fear and horror,
Did burn towards their country's tyrant ; they met

and united with the garrison, while I awaited
the return of the chancellor.

*******

By the advice of Pomopoloko, I fled seasona-

•*-

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 177

bly to Tanaqui, leaving my own capital before
the inhabitants generally were apprised of the
immediate cause of the sudden out-break.
Arrived in Tanaqui, I quickly collected an army
of forty thousand men, and boldly retraced the
steps which a few days before I had pursued in
fear and trembling. I had little doubt that my
powers would be augmented by Quamites, who
had been either too remote to suffer from my
cruelty, or too indifferent to my infamy, to hesi-
tate in joining a force so overpowering, and a
leader whose prospects were so brilliant as mine.
But I was deceived in my hopes : instead of
auxiliaries a herald from the prince met me.
The object of his mission was to declare a
formal war, and, for a commencement of hostili-
ties, that my wife and son had been imprisoned.
On the footsteps of the herald came the Qua-
mitic forces. A bloody engagement took place,
in which our part proved to be inferior. I, left
to my fate, fled to a neighboring mountain,
crossed its side and descended to a dale behind
it. There I remained in concealment for some
time, bemoaning, the while, my misery, as I
then believed, but which I afterwards more

•*.

178 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

justly named, my folly. I was so agitated, had
so thoroughly lost that presence of mind for
which I had in former days been distinguished,
that I did not remove from my head the crown,
which, being ornamented with sunbeams, would
have easily betrayed me. While panting like a
bayed lion, I heard a nestling on the other side
of the mountain, which I supposed was made by
men beating the bushes to discover any hiders.
I now looked around for a more secure retreat,
for I doubted not that my flight had been
noticed, and that these pursuers would search
on my side of the mountain. Behind me was

A thick and matted forest, sunk between hills

All desolate and bare, whose dark and awful silence
Beckoned me.

I hurried thither, fiercely flinging aside the
thorny bushes that clung as fiercely to me, and
came at last to the mouth of a cave. Creeping
in, I observed that the cave was deep, and as far
as the light penetrated, level. I determined to
explore its recesses, though I think I should not
have been so hardy in my days of fortune.

After treading cautiously a hundred paces, I

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 179

suddenly lost my footing, and plunged with the
quickness of lightning, into a hole that must
have had perpendicular sides.

Having shot through this passage, the abode
of palpable darkness and night, I suddenly per-
ceived a faint light.

As when through clouds the moon doth gleam
With pallid smile.

As this light increased, rny speed decreased, so
that without pain or trouble, I was soon brought
to a stand between two high mountains. My
sensations, during this remarkable passage, were
similar to those experienced while tossing among
the billows of the ocean. On recovering, I
found myself, to my great astonishment, in the
same spot from which, years before, I had
plunged into the subterranean regions. A
moment's reflection gave me the means to
account for the decrease of speed in the latter
part of my course. The weight of the atmos-
phere is much greater on the surface of the
globe, than below ; consequently I was buoyed
up by the increasing resistance of the air towards
the surface. Had this not been the case, I
*•

J80

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

should, unquestionably, at least in my own mind,
have shot off to the moon.

Still, being obnoxious to cavil, I will defer
this hypothesis to the astronomer's closer exami-
nation.

CHAPTER XVI.

THE AUTHOR'S RETURN TO HIS FATHER-LAND, AND
THE END OF THE FIFTH MONARCHY.

ALTHOUGH perfectly sensible, my limbs were
entirely benumbed ; and I lay helpless for a long
time. Meanwhile I ruminated on my singular
course. The events of the past years rose one
after another with clearness in my mind ; partic-
ularly those of my exaltation and fame. Here
was I, the late founder of the splendid fifth mon-
archy, metamorphosed to a poor and hungry
bachelor-of-arts ; a change so terrible and un-
precedented, that it might well have disturbed

the strongest brain. I seriously examined my
16

182 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

present circumstances — were they real ? or did
I dream ? Alas ? the tremors of terror and un-
certainty only gave place to the pangs of sorrow
and regret.

" Almighty Father ! " I exclaimed, and towards heaven
Stretched my trembling hands, " what sin provoked thy ven-
geance,

That all thy thunders crash upon my head?
Where am T ? whence came 1 1 how shall I escape
Thy anger."

Truly ! should one look over the journals of
all times, he will neither in ancient nor modern

history find a parallel to so great a fall ; with

i
the single exception of that of Nebuchadnezzar,

who from the greatest of kings was changed to
a dumb beast.

I began to descend the mountain by the path
which leads to Sandvig. When about half way
down, I observed some boys, whom I beckoned
towards me, repeating the words : Jem pikal
salim, which in the Q,uamitic language signify :
show me the way. The lads, however, were
apparently frightened at seeing a man in a
strange dress, and with a hat on his head glitter-
ing with golden rays ; for they rushed down the

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 183

mountain in great haste, arriving at Sandvig an
hour hefore me. The rumor of the strange
appearance on the mountain was spread about
and caused terror throughout the town ; the
notion was, that the shoemaker of Jerusalem
wandered among the mountains. This impres-
sion arose thus: the boys on being questioned
by the townsmen, replied that I had told them
who I was. I afterwards learnt that my words,
Jeru pikal salim, had been interpreted by sound,
and that this clew, acted upon by fear and super-
stition, had been developed into the strangest of
fables. This story was unquestioned by this
simple people, inasmuch as the adventures of
the travelling shoemaker were then newly re-
ported, and it had been asserted that he had
been seen a sliort time before in Hamburg.

When, towards evening, I entered Sandvig, I
observed that the inhabitants were collected in
large flocks, to gaze at me. As I approached
them and spoke, they all took to flight, except
one old man : him I addressed, and begged of
him to give me lodging at his house. He asked
me, "where I was born, whence I came, &c."
I answered him, with a sigh : " When I come to

184 NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM.

your house, I will relate events that will seem
incredible to yon, and whose equals you will
not find in any history." The old man then
took me by the hand and led me to his house.
When there I demanded drink ; he gave me a
glass of beer. When I recovered my breath,
after this draught, I addressed the old man thus :
" You see before you a human being, who has
been a bolt for the changing winds of fortune ;
one, who has been pursued by a fatality more
controlling and more unhappy than was ever
experienced by mortal."

" Moral and physical revolutions may be
effected in a moment, without surprising men •
but what has befallen me is beyond the reach of
human imagination !"

"It is the traveller's fate;" my landlord
answered ; " many strange events and changes
might happen on a voyage of sixteen hundred
years."

I did not understand this, and requested him
to tell me what he meant by sixteen hundred
years. He replied : " If one may believe history,
it is now sixteen hundred years since Jerusalem
was destroyed, and I doubt not, venerable man,

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KL1M. 185

that you were already of age at its destruction.
If what is said of you is true, you must have
been born in the reign of Tiberius. I know
that this matter is rather supposed than proved.
The inhabitants of this place, however, believe
you to be the shoemaker of Jerusalem, cele-
brated in history, who, since the time of Christ,
has travelled about the world. Nevertheless,
the more I look at you, the greater resemblance
I find to an old friend of mine, who twelve
years since perished on the top of a neighboring
mountain." At these words, I looked carefully
at my host. In a moment the fog was cleared
from before my eyes. I saw before me my
dear friend Abelin, in whose house, at Bergen, I
had spent many happy days. I ran to his em-
brace with outstretched arms. " Then 'tis you,
my dear Abelin ! I can scarcely believe my
eyes. Here you see Klim again, who has just
returned from the subterranean world. I am
the same, who twelve years since plunged into
the mountain cave. He fell upon my neck and
with tearful eyes, demanded where I had been
and what had happened to me. I told him all

that had occurred. At first he would not credit
16*

186 NARRATIVE OF NIELS HUM.

me ; but afterwards he acknowledged that all
must have been so, for I could never have
invented such strange adventures.

Abelin advised me not to repeat these things
to others, and to keep myself secluded in his
house. He told the people, who rushed to his
house to see the " shoemaker of Jerusalem,"
that I had vanished; for he justly concluded this
to be the best and most satisfactory answer he
could make to an ignorant and superstitious
peasantry. I remained in concealment until
clothes, more suitable to the surface of the earth,
than those I brought from below, were made,
when Abelin reported me to be a relative of his,
lately a student in Trondhjim, on a visit. He
recommended me to the bishop of Bergen, who
promised to me the first rectorship that should
become vacant. This office was much to my
taste, for it seemed to have a likeness to my
former state, a school-master being a miniature
of royalty. The rod may be likened to the
sceptre ; the desk to the throne. After wait-
ing for a vacancy in vain, I determined, from
necessity, to accept the first office I could get.
At this time the sacristan of the church died ;

NARRATIVE OF NIELS KLIM. 187

his place was offered to me by the bishop and
accepted. An amusing promotion to one who
had lately reigned over many great kingdoms.
Nevertheless, since nothing is so ridiculous as
poverty, and since it is foolish to throw away
dirty water, before clean is at hand, I think it
would have been still more laughable to have
refused it. Fulfilling the duties of this office, I
now live in philosophic ease.

Shortly after my induction, a marriage with a
merchant's daughter was proposed to me. I
could have liked the girl, but as it was probable
that the empress of Q,uama was yet alive, I did
not care to make myself obnoxious to the ban of
polygamy. M. Abelin, however, into whose
bosom. I was used to pour my doubts, and all the
pressures of my heart, abridged this fear, and
advised me to marry ; which I did. With this
wife I have lived six years in peaceful and
affectionate union. During this period she has
borne me three fine sons, wholly worthy of
their half brother, the prince of Quama.

To my wife, I never told my subterranean
adventures ; but I can never forget, for a
moment, the splendor that once surrounded me.
-*-

188

NARRATIVE OF NIELS JCLIM.

To this day, I often express myself in signs
and words, which, however consistent in the
mighty ruler and magnificent tyrant, are little
adapted to the humble sacristan of Bergen.

•*•-

--*-

THE SUPPLEMENT OF ABELIN.

NIELS KLIM lived to the year 1695. His
irreprehensible life and amiable disposition en-
deared him to all. Yet were the priests now
and then angry with him for his great sedateness
arid reservedness, which they called pride and
haughtiness. I, who knew the man, wondered
much at the modesty, humility and patience
with which he, who had been monarch over
many nations, executed his mean and vulgar
duties. So long as his strength permitted, he
would, at a certain time in the year, ascend the
mountain and gaze into the cave, out of which
he came to the surface. His friends observed

•4-

190

THE SUPPLEMENT OF ABELIN.

that he always returned weeping, and immedi-
ately shut himself in his chamber, where he
remained alone the rest of the day.

His wife informed me, that she frequently
heard him murmur in his dreams, of armies and
navies. His library consisted mostly of political
works; for this selection he was blamed by
several, who thought this description of books
unfit for a sacristan.

Of the "subterranean travels," there is but a
single copy, written by his own hand, which is
in my possession.

I have often had it in mind to publish them,
but several important reasons have hindered me
from doing so.

•*•-

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