Full text of "The old Jersey captive: or, A narrative of the captivity of Thomas Andros, (now pastor of the church in Berkley,) on board the old Jersey Prison Ship at New York, 1781. In a series of letters to a friend, suited to inspire faith and confidence in a particular divine providence ... Boston, W. Peirce, 1833"

From the Original Painting by Thomas Hardy

WILLIAM AUGUSTUS BOWLES

Chief of the Embassy from the Creek and Cherokee Nations

THE

MAGAZINE OF HISTORY

WITH

NOTES AND QUERIES
Extra Number No.4fi

COMPRISING

PORTRAIT OF WILLIAM AUGUSTUS BOWLES Frontispiece

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE (1833) . . . Thomas Andros

AUTHENTIC MEMOIRS OF WILLIAM AUGUSTUS BOWLES (1791)

Capt. - Bayntun

A MEMOIR ON THE ANTIQUITIES OF THE WESTERN PART OF
THE STATE OF NEW YORK (1820) De Witt Clinton

TARRYTOWN, NEW YORK

REPRINTED

WILLIAM ABBATT

1916
Being Extra Number 46 of THE MAGAZINE OF HISTORY WITH NOTES AND QUERIES

EDITOR S PREFACE

OUR three items are exceedingly unlike, but all are extremely
rare in their original form, and only one has ever been re-
published, and then only in a very limited edition. Such
personal recollections of our Revolution as Mr. Andros , where
the author tells what he personally saw and did, are of great his
torical value, and now very hard to find. Only one copy of it has
been sold at auction since the Morrell copy many years ago, brought
$11.

The Bowles Memoirs is a work of the greatest rarity. But few
copies of it are known to exist, and Peter Force attempted, for
twenty years, to procure one, but failed. Mr. Field, collecting as
he did so many years ago, when books of this kind were very much
more common than they are now, was also unable to procure a
copy. It is, however, thus described in his Indian Bibliography:

"The subject of this biographical sketch attracted much
attention in England, whither he went to enlist the interposi
tion of the Crown in favor of the Creek Indians, over whom
he had acquired a sort of chieftainship. He claimed for them
the rights of an independent and sovereign nation. The work
is ranked among the rarest works relating to the American
Aborigines."

Though the author of the "Memoirs" says Bowles was the
son of a planter, his father was really a British schoolmaster; and
Halkett and Laing say the author himself was Captain Bayntun,
of the "Provincial forces," probably the very regiment in which
Bowles served.

The subject of Captain Bayntun s memoir was born in Frederick
County, Maryland, in 1763. His adventurous life is well de
scribed in the following pages we may add that after the Revo
lution he succeeded in keeping the state of Georgia in a turmoil
for several years, through his influence with the Indians.

2 EDITOR S PREFACE

In 1792 he fell into the hands of his old enemies, the Spaniards,
and was carried first to Madrid and then to Manila. From there
he escaped and returned to his old comrades, the Creeks, but was
again captured by the Spaniards in 1804, carried to Havana and
immured in the Morro Castle until death released him, December
23, 1805. Undoubtedly a man of unusual ability, he had crowded
into his thirty years of active life an amount of romance such as
fell to the lot of few other men of like age or any epoch. The cir
cumstance of his "embassy" to London preserved his portrait for
posterity, and it is a pity that no fuller account of his life exists
than that which we here reprint.

Nothing specific is known of his conduct towards his antago
nists, but no acts of vindictive cruelty or treachery such as are in-
dissolubly associated with the Girtys and other renegade "White
Indians," are recorded against him; and it would seem that he
might have been a Sir William Johnson to the Southern Indians,
had he possessed that leader s opportunities. The last sale of a
copy was in 1914, when it brought $125; one of the highest prices
paid for any one of the various rarities which we have given to
our subscribers at our nominal prices.

Of our third work we may say that only one copy of the first
edition (1818) seems to have survived to our day. In it Governor
Clinton states positively that there were then evidences of a
Spanish colony having existed in the Onondaga Valley.

Nothing of this appears in the second edition (1820) (Field s
Indian Bibliography, No. 330) from which we make our copy:
so it appears likely that he changed his opinion meantime, and the
excessive rarity of the first edition may be due to his efforts to
destroy all copies containing what he may have deemed an un
tenable claim.

As near foe-simile as possible

THE

OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE:

OR A

NARRATIVE OF THE CAPTIVITY
OF

THOMAS ANDROS,

( NOW PASTOR OF THE CHURCH IN BERKLEY,)
ON BOARD

THE OLD JERSEY PRISON SHIP

AT NEW YORK, 1781.

IN A SERIES OF LETTERS TO A FRIEND, SUITED TO

INSPIRE FAITH AND CONFIDENCE IN A

PARTICULAR DIVINE PROVIDENCE.

"O may our lips and lives make known
Thy goodness and thy praise."

BOSTON :
PUBLISHED BY WILLIAM PEIRCE,

No. 9 Cornhill

1833.

TARRYTOWN, NEW YORK

REPRINTED

WILLIAM ABBATT

1916
Being Extra Number 46 of THE MAGAZINE OF HISTORY WITH NOTES AND QUERIES.

EDITOR S PREFACE

THOMAS ANDROS, the youngest of three brothers, was born
at Norwich, Conn., May 1, 1759. At the breaking out of the
Revolutionary War, he was among the first to enrol himself
as a soldier and joined the American army, then at Cambridge.

On the evacuation of Boston he accompanied the army to New
York, where he was engaged in the battles of Long Island and
White Plains. At the expiration of his term of service he returned
to his mother s home, Plainfield, Conn,, but subsequently entered
the army again and was at the battle of Butts Hill, R. I. He also
served in the Connecticut militia at several times when not in the
army, until 1781, when he enlisted on board a private-armed
vessel at New London. (Here his narrative of imprisonment and
sufferings begins.)*

A long illness and much suffering ensued on his return home,
and led him to study for the ministry, to which he was ordained in
March, 1788, when he immediately entered upon his life-work as
pastor of the Congregational Church of Berkley, Mass., which
proved to be his only charge he dying there in December, 1845, at
the age of 86, after the almost unrivalled term of fifty-seven years
of pastoral work in one church.

The "Taunton Association of Ministers" of which he was the
oldest member, thus commemorated his work and character, in
an entry on its Records:

"He was an eminent example of self-taught men, a warm
patron of education and a deeply-interested friend of the rising
generation. As a preacher he held high rank; as a pastor he was
affectionate, laborious and untiring in interest, both for the spirit-

*It is now out of print, and ought to be republished. Rev. Enoch Sanford, History of
Berkley. Mass. (N. Y.. 1872.)

4 EDITOR S PREFACE

ual and temporal welfare of his people; as an author his merit will
not suffer in comparison with many whose works are much more
voluminous."* One of his sons, Richard Salter Storrs Andros, who
held various state and national offices in Boston, and was a highly
respected citizen, died in 1868.

Another son, Milton, was a lawyer and Asst. . S. District
Attorney at Boston.

*He was the author of a number of theological essays, which are catalogued in Emery s
Ministry of Taunton Boston, 1853 to which I am indebted for these particulars of his life.
(ED.)

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE
LETTER I

Introduction His Captivity Old Jersey Reflections first night below His opinions
of the Revolutionary cause and Privateering Fearful mortality Burial of the Dead, &c.

VIRGIL represents ^Eneas as soothing the breasts of his afflict
ed companions with this remark: "Perhaps the recollection
of these things will hereafter be delightful." But to afford
real pleasure the remembrance of hardships and sufferings must be
connected with some principles and facts, which cannot apply to
every child of sorrow. The daring achievements of which the
pirate may boast, and the fearful calamities he may have suffered,
can never be truly delightful in a serious recollection, but a source
of the keenest anguish. On this principle there is no escape from
misery to such as never repent of their crimes. The recollection
of their mad and impious deeds must be tormenting as long as they
remain conscious, rational beings. Two things in such a recollec
tion, if it be a source of real comfort, must be true; a consciousness
that the cause in which we suffered was good and just, and a sense
that the help by which we were sustained and our deliverance
effected, was the bestowment of a gracious and compassionate
Creator. I had a full conviction at the time, that the Revolution
ary cause was just. I was but in my seventeenth year when the
struggle commenced, and no politician; but even a schoolboy could
see the justice of some of the principles on the ground of which
the country had recourse to arms. The colonies had arrived to the
age of manhood. They were fully competent to govern themselves
and they demanded their freedom, or at least a just representation
in the national legislature.

For a Power three thousand miles distant to claim a right to
make laws to bind us in all cases whatever, and we have no voice

6 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

in that legislature, this, it seemed, was a principle to which two
millions of freemen ought not tamely to submit. And as all peti
tions and remonstances availed nothing, and as the British govern
ment, instead of the charter of our liberties and rights, sent her
fleets and armies to enforce her arbitrary claims, the Colonies had
no alternative but slavery or war. Appealing to Almighty God
for the justice of their cause, they chose the latter. Whether I
approved the motives that led me into the service, is another ques
tion, which I shall presently notice. As to the strength given to
sustain my toils and sufferings, and the deliverances granted, I
had a powerful conviction that these were the gift of the great
fountain of all good.

In the following narrative our highest gratification, as we were
to hope, is to give glory to that kind and merciful Providence which
alone could have rescued me in the midst of so many deaths.

I would speak not so much of anything I myself achieved,
as what the God of love and pity performed.

In the summer of 1781, the ship Hannah, a very rich prize
was captured and brought into the port of New London. But in
this case it was far worse than in common lottery -gambling, for it
followed that there were thousands of fearful blanks to this one
prize. It infatuated great numbers of young men, who flocked
on board our private armed ships, fancying the same success would
attend their adventures; but no such prize was ever after brought
into that port.

But New London became such a nest of privateers that the
English determined on its destruction, and sent an armament and
laid it in ashes, and took Fort Griswold, at the Groton side of the
river, and with savage cruelty put the garrison to the sword after
they had surrendered. Another mighty blank to this prize was
that our privateers so swarmed on the ocean that the British cruisers

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 7

who were everywhere in pursuit of them, soon filled the prisons
at New York to overflowing with captured American seamen.

Among these deluded and infatuated youth I was one. I
entered a volunteer on board a new brig, called the Fair American,
built on purpose to prey upon the British commerce. She mounted
sixteen carriage-guns and was manned by a crew whose numbers
exceeded what was really her complement. The quarter-deck,
tops and long boat were crowded with musketry, so that in action
she was a complete flame of fire.

We had not been long at sea before we discovered and gave
chase to an English brig, as large as ours and in appearance mounted
as many guns. As we approached her she saluted us with her stern
chases, but after exchanging a few shots, we ran directly along
side, as near as we could and not get entangled in her top hamper,
and with one salute of all the fire we could display, put her to
silence. And thanks be to God, no lives were lost.

I, with others, went on board to man the prize and to take her
into port. But the prize-master disobeyed orders. His orders
were, not to approach the American coast till we had reached the
longitude of New Bedford, and then to haul up to the northward,
and with a press of sail to make for that port. But he aimed to
make land on the back of Long Island. The consequence was,
we were captured on the 2?th of August, by the Solebay frigate,
and safely stowed away in the Old Jersey Prison ship, at New York.

This was an old sixty -four gun ship, which through age had
become unfit for further actual service. She was stripped of every
spar, and all her rigging. And after a battle with the French
fleet her* lion figure-head was taken away to repair another ship,
no appearance of ornament was left, and nothing remained but
an old, unsightly rotten hulk. Her dark and filthy external ap-

*In the original "and" precedes "her lion."

8 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

pearance perfectly corresponded with the death and despair that
reigned within, and nothing could be more foreign from truth than
to paint her with colors flying, or any circumstance or appendage
to please the eye. She was moored about three-quarters of a mile
to the eastward of Brooklyn ferry, near a tide-mill on the Long
Island shore. The nearest distance to land was about twenty rods.
And doubtless no other ship in the British navy ever proved the
means of the destruction of so many human beings. It is com
puted that not less than eleven thousand American seamen perished
in her. But after it was known that it was next to certain death
to confine a prisoner here, the inhumanity and wickedness of doing
it was about the same as if he had been taken into the city and
deliberately shot on some public square. But as if mercy had fled
from the earth, here we were doomed to dwell; and never while I
was on board did any Howard or angel of pity appear, to inquire into
or alleviate our woes. Once or twice, by the order of a stranger
on the quarter-deck, a bag of apples were hurled promiscuously
into the midst of hundreds of prisoners crowded together as thick
as they could stand, and life and limbs were endangered in the scram
ble. This, instead of compassion, was a cruel sport. When I
saw it about to commence, I fled to the most distant part of the
ship. On the commencement of the first evening, we were driven
down to darkness between decks secured by iron gratings and an
armed soldiery. And now a scene of horror which baffles all de
scription, presented itself. On every side wretched, desponding
shapes of men could be seen. Around the well-room an armed
guard were forcing up the prisoners to the winches, to clear the
ship of water and prevent her sinking ; and little else could he heard
but a roar of mutual execrations, reproaches and insults. During
this operation there was a small, dim light admitted below, but
it served to make darkness more visible, and horror more terrific.
In my reflections I said "This must be a complete image and antic-

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 9

ipation of Hell." Milton s description of the dark world rushed
upon my mind:

Sights of woe, regions of sorrow, doleful
Shades, where peace and rest can never dwell

But another reflection inflicted a still deeper wound : How came
I here? From what motive did I go in quest of British property
on the ocean? The cause of America I did indeed approve, and as
to the business of privateering, considered as a national act, I did
not see the force of that reasoning which some good men con
demned it.

If it be right to inflict a wound on a nation with which we are
at war, it is right, thought I, to strike at their commerce. Is it
not the object of war to bring a wicked nation to a sense of justice
by the infliction of pain? Strike then where they will feel most
sensibly*. But was it real love of country or a desire to please my
Maker, that prompted me to engage in this service? My conduct
was indeed legalized by my country, but what better than that of
a pirate was my motive? I could not stand before this self -scrut
iny. As the bar of God and my own conscience I was condemned.
I cried out "O Lord God thou art good but I am wicked. Thou
hast done right in sending me to this doleful prison; it is just what
I deserve." I could indeed plead that sordid avarice was not my

*What I have here related I would not have pass for my riper and more sober thoughts of
war. I do now condemn war in all its causes and forms, except that of absolute self-defence.
And even in this case a people cught to act by the Christian spirit and rule to be slow to anger,
to be long-suffering, to put up with many injuries and insults rather than to have recourse to
war. It is a desperate remedy, and generally far worse than the disease. And it at last, in
self-defence, we must strike, let the blow be as mild and mixed with as much mercy as possible.
However falsely ambitious and wicked men may reason about the doctrine of self-defence,
and misapply it to justify war in all cases, I am not prepared to surrender it; for in this surren
der it appears to me I do necessarily give up the possibility of maintaining civil government.
I must believe with St. Paul, that the sword is the proper badge of the civil magistrate, and
even God requires he should so use it as to be a terror to evil-doers. Rom. 13.

To speak of civil government as itself guilty of murder when the law punishes capitally
the man who has shed the blood of his neighbor, is, I believe, to commit the crime of speaking
evil of dignities, and borders more on insanity than sound scripture reason.

10 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

sole motive, but curiosity a love of enterprize, a wish to witness
something of the "pomp and circumstance of war," to gaze at what
kept the world awake, had an influence; but this was but a slender
palliation. I was so overwhelmed with a sense of guilt that I do
not recollect that I even asked for pardon or deliverance at this
time.

When I first became an inmate of this abode of suffering, de
spair and death, there were about four hundred prisoners on board,
but in a short time they amounted to twelve hundred. And in
proportion to our numbers the mortality increased.

All the most deadly diseases were pressed into the service of
the King of Terrors, but his prime ministers were dysentery, small
pox and yellow fever. There were two hospital ships near to the
Old Jersey, but these were soon so crowded with the sick that they
could receive no more; the consequence was the diseased and the
healthy were mingled together in the main ship. In a short time
we had two hundred or more sick and dying lodged in the fore part
of the gun-deck, where all the prisoners were confined at night.
Utter derangement was a common symptom of yellow fever, and
to increase the horror of the darkness that shrouded us (for we were
allowed no light betwixt decks) the voice of warning would be heard
Take heed to yourselves. There is a madman stalking through
the ship with a knife in his hand." I sometimes found the man a
corpse in the morning, by whose side I laid myself down at night.
At another time he would become deranged, and attempt in dark
ness to rise and stumble over the bodies that everywhere covered
the deck. In this case I had to hold him in his place by main
strength. In spite of my efforts he would sometimes rise, and then
I had to close in with him, trip up his heels and lay him again upon
the deck. While so many were sick with raging fever there was a
loud cry for water, but none could be had except on the upper deck,
and but one allowed to ascend at a time. The suffering then from

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 11

the rage of thirst during the night was very great. Nor was it at
all times safe to attempt to go up. Provoked by the continual
cry for leave to ascend, when there was already one on deck, the
sentry would push them back with his bayonet. By one of these
thrusts, which was more spiteful and violent than common, I had
a narrow escape of my life. In the morning the hatchways were
thrown open and we were allowed to ascend all at once, and remain
on the upper deck during the day. But the first object that met
our view in the morning was a most appalling spectacle. A boat
loaded with dead bodies, conveying them to the Long Island shore,
where they were very slightly covered with sand. I sometimes used
to stand to count the number of times the shovel was filled with
sand to cover a dead body. And certain I am that a few high
tides or torrents of rain must have disinterred them. And had
they not been removed, I should suppose the shore even now would
be covered with huge piles of the bones of American seamen. There
were probably four hundred on board who had never had the small
pox some perhaps, might have been saved by inoculation. But
humanity was wanting to try even this experiment let our disease
be what it would, we were abandoned to our fate. Now and then
an American physician was brought in as a captive, but if he could
obtain his parole he left the ship; nor could we much blame him
for this. For his own death was next to certain, and his success
in saving others by medicine in our situation was small. I remem
ber only two American physicians who tarried on board a few days.
No English physician or any one from the city, even, to my know
ledge came near us. There were thirteen of the crew to which I
belonged, but in a short time all but three or four were dead. The
most healthy and vigorous were first seized with the fever, and
died in a few hours. For them there seemed to be no mercy. My
constitution was less muscular and plethoric, and I escaped the
fever longer than any of the thirteen except one, and the first on
set was less violent.

12 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

There is one palliating circumstance as to the inhumanity
of the British, which ought to be mentioned. The prisoners were
furnished with buckets and brushes to cleanse the ship, and with
vinegar to sprinkle her inside; but their indolence and despair were
such that they would not use them, or but rarely. And, indeed, at
this time the encouragement to do so was small; for the whole
ship, from her keel to the tafferel (taffrail) was equally affected,
and contained pestilence sufficient to desolate a world; disease
and death were wrought into her very timbers. At the time I left
it is to be presumed a more filthy, contagious and deadly abode
for human beings never existed among a Christianized people.
It fell but little short of the Black Hole at Calcutta. Death was
more lingering, but almost equally certain.

The lower hold and the orlop deck were such a terror that no
man would venture down into them. Humanity would have dic
tated a more merciful treatment to a band of pirates who had been
condemned, and were only awaiting the gibbet, than to have sent
them here. But in the view of the English we were rebels and
traitors. We had risen against the mother-country in an unjust and
wanton war. On this ground they seemed to consider us as not
entitled to that humanity which might be expected by prisoners
taken in a war with a foreign nation. Our water was good, could
we have had enough of it; our bread was bad in the superlative de
gree. I do not recollect seeing any which was not full of living
vermin; but eat it, worms and all, we must, or starve. The prison
ers had laws and regulations among themselves. In severity they
were like the laws of Draco. Woe to him that dared to trample
them underfoot.

A secret, prejudicial to a prisoner, revealed to the guard was
death. Captain Young, of Boston, concealed himself in a large
chest belonging to a sailor going to be exchanged, and was carried
on board the cartel and we considered his escape ascertain; but

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 13

the secret leaked out and he was brought back, and one Spicer,
of Providence, being suspected as the traitor, the enraged prisoners
were about to take his life. His head was drawn back and the
knife raised to cut his throat; but having obtained a hint of what
was going on below, the guard at this instant rushed down and
rescued the man. Of his guilt at the time there was to me, at
least, no convincing evidence. It is a pleasure now to reflect that
I had no hand in the outrage.

If there was any principle among the prisoners that could
not be shaken, it was the love of their country. I knew no one to
be seduced into the British service. They attempted to force one
of a prize brig s crew into the navy, but he chose rather to die than
perform any duty; and he was again restored to the prison-ship.

Another rule, the violation of which would expose the offender
to great danger, was, not to touch the provisions belonging to an
other mess. This was a common cause, and if one complained that
he was robbed it produced an excitement of no little terror.

Another rule was no giant-like man should be allowed to
tyrannize over or abuse another who was in no way his equal in
strength. As to religion, I do not remember of beholding any trace
of it in the ship. I saw no Bible, heard no prayers, no religious
conversation no clergyman visited us, though no set of afflicted
and dying men more needed the light and consolations of religion.
But the Bethel-flag had not yet waved over any ship. I know not
that God s name was ever mentioned, unless it was in profaneness
or blasphemy; but as every man had almost the certain prospect
of death before him, no doubt there were more or less who, in their
own mind, like myself, had some serious thoughts of their accounta
bility of a future state and of a judgment to come; but as to the
main body it seemed that when they most needed religion, there
[then] they treated it with the greatest contempt.

14 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

I wish it to be understood that what I have said of this horrid
prison relates almost exclusively to the time I was on board. Of
what took place before or afterward, I say little. To all I do relate,
the words of the Latin poet are in some degree applicable:

Which things, most worthy of pity,

I myself saw.
And of them was a part.

Nor would I heap the cruel horrors of this prison-ship as a reproach
upon the whole nation without exception. It is indeed a blot which
a thousand ages cannot eradicate from the name of Britain; but
no doubt when the pious and humane among them came to know
what had been done, they utterly reprobated such cruelty. Since
that time the nation has so greatly improved in Christian light,
feeling and humanity, they would not now treat even rebels with
such barbarity; and it is expected that this remark will be realized
in their treatment of all other countries, who may wish and struggle
to obtain the blessings of freedom and independence. While on
board almost every thought was occupied to invent some plan of
escape; but day after day passed and none presented that I dared
to put into execution. But the time had now come when I must
be delivered from the ship, or die. It could not be delayed even
a few days longer; but no plan could I think of that offered a gleam
of hope. If I did escape with my life, I could see no way for it but
by miracle.

LETTER II

Death in appearance unavoidable Escape from the ship by unexpected means Con
cealment in a swamp Shapes his course for the east end of the Island Village resounding
with martial music Dwelling-house mistaken for a barn Sufferings during the night
Escape from being recaptured by two dragoons.

N the close of my first letter it was observed that if I did escape
it seemed it must be by miracle. This remark was founded on
the following facts:

1. If I continued on board a few days, or even hours, the

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 15

prospect was certain death; for I was now seized with the yellow
fever, and should unavoidably take the natural small-pox with it;
and who does not know that I could not survive the operation of
both of these diseases at once? I had never experienced the latter
disease in any way, and it was now beginning to rage on board the
Old Jersey, and none could be removed. The hospital ships being
already full of the sick, the pox was nearly ripe in the pustules of
some and I not only slept near them but assisted in nursing those
who had the symptoms most violently. In a very short time my
doom must have been settled, had I remained in the ship.

2. The arrival of a cartel and my being exchanged would not
help the matter, but rendered my death the more sure. When a
list of the names of the prisoners was called for on board the frig
ate by which we were captured, I stepped up and gave in my name
first, supposing that in case of an exchange I should be the sooner
favored with this privilege. And the fact indeed was that no ex
changes took place but from the port of New London; and former
exchanges had left me the first on the roll of captives from this port;
and I dreaded nothing more than the arrival of a cartel, for num
bers would be put on board and sent home with me from the hospital-
ships, whose flesh was ready to fall from their bones in this dread
ful disease; and indeed I had no sooner made my escape than a
cartel did arrive, and such dying men were actually crowded into
it; and it was evidently the policy of the English to return for sound
and healthy men sent from our prisons, such Americans as had but
just the breath of life in them, and were sure to die before they
reached home. The guard were wont to tell a man, while in health,
"You have not been here long enough, you are too well to be ex
changed".

3. There was yet one more conceivable method of getting
from the ship, and that was, the next night, to steal down through
a gun -port which we had managed to open when we pleased, un-

16 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

beknown to the guard, and swim ashore. But this was a most
forlorn hope ; for I was under the operation of the yellow fever and
but just able to walk, and when well I could never swim ten rods,
and should now have at least twenty to swim. Besides, when in
the water there was almost a certainty I should be discovered by the
guard and shot as others had been.

In this situation what wisdom or what finite power could save
me? If I tarried on board I must perish! If put on board the
cartel every hour expected, I must perish! If I attempted to swim
away I must! If utter despair of life had now taken hold of me,
who could have said there was no ground for it? But now it seems
that God, who had something more for me to do than to perish in
that ship, undertook for me.

When helpers fail and foes invade,
God is our all-sufficient aid.

Mr. Emery, the sailing-master, was just now going ashore after
water; without really considering what I said and without the
least expectation of success, I thus addressed him: "Mr. Emery,
may I go on shore with you after water?" My lips seemed to move
almost involuntarily for no such thing, to my knowledge, had ever
been granted to such a prisoner. To my surprise and the astonish
ment of all that heard him, he replied "Yes, with all my heart."
I then descended immediately into the boat, which was in waiting
for him. But the prisoners came to the ship s side and queried
"What is that sick man going on shore for?" And the British
sailors endeavored to dissuade me from it, but never was counsel
so little resisted as theirs, and to put them all to silence I again
ascended on board; but even this was an interposition of a kind
Providence, for I had neglected to take my great coat, without which
I must have perished in cold and storms. But I now put it on
and waited for the sailing-master, meaning to step down again into
the boat just before him, which I did, and turned my face away,

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 17

that I might not be recognized and another attempt be made to
prevent my going.

The boat was pushed off and we were soon clear of the ship.
I took an oar, and attempted to row, but an English sailor took it
from me and very kindly said "Give me the oar, you are not able
to use it, you are too unwell." I resigned it, and gave up myself to
the most intense thought upon my situation. I had commenced
the execution of a plan, in which if I failed my life was gone; but
if I succeeded it was possible I might live. I looked back to the
black and unsightly old ship as an object of the greatest horror.
"Am I to escape or return there and perish?" was with me the all-
absorbing question. I believed in a God whose plans and purposes
were eternal and immutable, and I had no doubt but that with him
my bounds were set and my destiny unalterably fixed. Oh, that
I could know how he intended to dispose of me, that I might struggle
with the hope of success, or resign myself to my fate.

But this train of thought was soon terminated by the con
sideration that "secret things belong to God," and that my present
concern was action on the application of the proper means of es
cape and now we had ascended the creek and arrived to the spring
where the casks were to be filled, and I proposed to the sailors to go
in quest of apples. I had before told them that this was my object
in coming ashore, but they chose to defer it till the boat was loaded ;
and as they did not exact any labor of me, this was just as I would
have it. I thought I could do quite as well without their company
as with it.

The sailing-master passing by me very kindly remarked
"This fresh air will be of service to you." This emboldened me
to ask leave to ascend the bank, a slope of about forty-five degrees
and thirty feet in height, terminating in a plain of considerable
extent, and to call at an house nearby for some refreshments. He
said "Go, but take care and not be out of the way." I replied

18 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

"my state of health was such that there was nothing to fear on that
score." But here I confess, I violated a principle of honour for
which I could not then, nor can I now entirely excuse myself. I
feel a degree of conscious meanness for treating a man thus who put
confidence in me, and treated me in such a manner as shewed he was
a gentleman of sensibility and kindness. But the love of life was
my temptation; but this principle is always too great when it
tempts us to violate any principle of moral rectitude and honor.
Should I even now learn that my escape involved him in any trouble
it would be a matter of deep regret. Not long after my arrival at
home I sent him my apology for what I did, by a British officer who
was exchanged and going directly to New York.

I consider him as God s chosen instrument to save me and
to him as such I owe my life.

When the boat returned the inquiry was made by the prisoners
(as I was afterwards informed) "Where is the sick man that went
with you?" The English sailors consoled themselves with this
reply: "Ah, he is safe enough, he will never live to go a mile."
They did not know what the Sovereign of life and death could
enable a sick man to do.

Intent on the business of escape, I surveyed the landscape all
around. I discovered at the distance of half a mile what appeared
to be a dense swamp of young maples and other bushes. On this
I fixed as my hiding-place. But how should I get to it without
being discovered and apprehended before I could reach it? I had
reason to think the boat s crew would keep an eye upon me, and
people were to be seen at a distance in almost every direction.
But there was an orchard which extended a good way toward the
swamp, and while I wandered from tree to tree in this orchard,
I should not be suspected of anything more than searching after
fruit. But at my first entrance into it I found a soldier on sentry,
and I had to find out what his business was, and soon discovered he

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 19

had nothing to do with me, but only to guard an heap of apples;
and now I gradually worked myself off to the end of the orchard
next to the swamp, and looking round on every side I saw no
person from whom I might apprehend immediate danger.

The boat s crew being yet at work under the bank of the creek,
and out of sight, I stepped off deliberately (for I was unable to
run, and had I been able it would have tended to excite suspicion
in any one that might have seen me, even at a distance) and having
forded the creek once or twice, I reached the swamp in safety. I
soon found a place which seemed to have been formed by nature
on purpose for concealment. An huge log, twenty feet in length,
having lain there for many years, was spread over on both sides
with such a dense covering of green running briars as to be im
pervious to the eye. Lifting up this covering at one end, I crept
in close by the log, and rested comfortably and securely, for I was
well defended from the northeast storm which soon commenced.

When the complete darkness of the night had shut in, and
while raining in torrents, I began to feel my way out. And though
but just able to walk, and though often thrown all along into the
water by my clothes getting entangled with the bushes, yet I
reached the dry land, and endeavored to shape my course for the
east end of Long Island. In this I was assisted by finding how
New York bore from me by the sound of ship bells, and the din
of labor and activity, even at that time of night.

Here let me remark how easy it is with God to cause men to
do good, when they intend no such thing. Without my greatcoat,
it would have been scarcely possible to have survived the tempest,
rain and cold of this night in the month of October. But had not
the prisoners endeavored to prevent my going into the boat, and
caused me to ascend again into the ship, I should have left it be
hind. Little did I then think what good Heaven meant to bestow
on me, by the trouble they then gave me.

20 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

I soon fell into a road that seemed to lead the right way, and
when during the night I perceived I was about to meet any one,
my constant plan was to retire to a small distance from the path,
and roll myself up as well as I could, to resemble a small bunch
of bushes or fern. By this expedient I was often saved from re
capture.

This road soon brought me into quite a populous village,
which was resounding with drums and fifes and full of soldiers;
but in great mercy to me it rained in torrents, so I passed through
in the midst of the street in safety. Here I would remark, once
for all, that I was then so entirely unacquainted with the particu
lar geography of Long Island, that I could not name the places
where the events of my narrative happened, nor shall I now at
tempt to do it. By an accurate map before me, it is possible I
might decide what village this was but I shall let it pass without
a name. It would not have been any great mark of wisdom to
have stopped when passing through it and inquired of these fifers
and drummers what was the name of the place.

Being sick, and greatly exhausted by the adventures of the
day and night, it now became absolutely necessary to seek a place
of rest, and a barn to me was now the only palace in which I dared
to enter. I stepped up to the door of what I took to be such a
building, and was just about to open it, when my eye was arrested
by a white streak on the threshold, which I found to be the light
reflected from a candle, and I heard human voices within. But
human voices were now to me the objects of the greatest terror,
and I fled with all the speed I possessed.

Coming to another barn I discovered an high stack of hay in
the yard, covered with a Dutch cap. I ascended, and sunk my
self down deep in the hay, supposing I had found a most comfort
able retreat. But how miserably was I deceived! The weather
had now cleared up, and the wind blew strong and cold from the

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 21

northwest, and the hay was nothing but coarse sedge, and the
wind passed into it and reached me as if I had no protection from
it. I had not a dry thread in my clothes, and my sufferings from
this time to about eleven o clock the next day, were great too
great even for health; but I had to encounter them under the
operation of a malignant fever, which would have confined me to
my room if not to my bed, had I been at home.

A young woman came into the yard and milked a cow, just
at the foot of the tower where I lay concealed; but I had no eye
to pity or kind hand to alleviate my distress. This brought home,
with all the tender charities of mother, sister and brothers, to my
recollection, with a sensibility I could feel, but cannot describe.
The day was clear, and grew more moderate; and the coast being
clear also, I left my cold and wretched retreat and deliberately
made off for the woods, at a distance of half a mile. However,
before I descended I had seen prisoners who had escaped from the
ship, retaken and carried back. But I would have no companion
it would excite suspicion and render concealment more difficult,
and under the kind Providence of God I chose to be my own coun
sellor and to have none to fall out with in the way, as to what course
we should pursue.

Having entered the woods I found a small but deep, dry
hollow, clear of brush in the centre, though surrounded with a
thicket on every side. Into this the sun shone with a most de
lightful warmth. Her I stripped myself naked and spread out my
clothes to dry.

Being too impatient of delay, I regained the road just as the
sun was setting, but it came near to proving fatal ; for I discovered
just ahead, two light dragoons coming down upon me! At first
it seemed escape was impossible. But that God, who gave me a
quickness of thought in expedients that seemed to go quite beyond
myself, was present with his kind aid.

22 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

I now happened to be near a small cottage and a cornfield
adjoining the road. I f ained myself to be the man of that cottage,
the owner of that cornfield; and getting over the fence, I went
about the field deliberately picking up ears of corn that had fallen
down and righting up the cap sheaf of a stack of stalks. The
dragoons came nigh, eyed me carefully though I affected to take
no notice of them and passed on. They were probably in search
of me.

I had lost my hat overboard when in the Old Jersey, and had
thenceforward to cover my head with an handkerchief. I deemed
it a calamity at the time, but as an act of Providence the mystery
now began to be unfolded. Having no hat but an handkerchief
about my head, helped to deceive the dragoons, and cause them to
think I was the cottager who owned that cornfield.

LETTER III

Subsists upon fruit Escape from falling into the hands of a guard Attacked by a kennel
of dogs The value of a barn The roughness and meanness of an old man The benevolence
and kindness of a woman Encampment of soldiers The day passed on a stack of rye, under
a Dutch cap Extensive plain, falls into the hands of a British light-horseman Providential
escape, but soon finds himself in the midst of a party of horse and foot.

TO lie concealed during the day and to travel at night, was my
practice till I had got far towards the east end of the Island.

For several days I had not taken any nourishment but water
and apples. I found late pears, and was pleased with their taste,
but they operated as an emetic, quicker than ipecac. A subacid
apple sat well on my stomach, and was very refreshing, though had
I been sick at home with the same disease, I should have probably
been denied this favor. Indeed, from what I experienced in the
free use of water, ripe fruit, unfermented cider found at the presses,
etc., I was led to suspect that a great deal of the kind nursing of
persons in fever was an unnecessary and cruel kind of self-denial.

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 23

But I supposed Nature would sink without some other kind of
aliment. But the first attempt to act upon this principle would
have proved fatal, had it not been for a kind Providential inter
ference.

Late in the evening I stepped up to an house on the road, and
lifted my hand to rap, but the door folded inward and evaded my
stroke, and a lady appeared with a light in her hand. I besought
of her a draught of milk; she replied that there was then a guard
of soldiers in the house, and they had consumed it all. The busi
ness of this guard was to keep a lookout towards Long Island Sound
and their sentries were on the opposite side of the house. Had I
rapped, and been met by one of this guard instead of the lady
what would have been the result? And by whose arrangement did
the incident so happen that I escaped?

Pursuing my journey, I came to a place where the road
parted, one branch turned off through a lofty grove of wood; the
other ascended a gentle rise towards a house nearby. I knew not
which to take; but that leading towards the house best suited my
general course. But coming up near the house, there issued forth
from the outbuildings a greater kennel of dogs than I had ever
before seen, and assaulted me with a furious yelling. I stopped
short, drew up my hands as far as I could out of their reach, and
stood still. They snapped at me very spitefully, with their jaws
within a few inches of my body, and now, what was I to do? To
have attacked them, or fled precipitately, would have been instant
destruction. I concluded to take no notice of them, but to turn
about gently and take the other road, as if there was no such
creature in the world as a dog. I did so, and they followed me for
about twenty rods, snapping at me and seeming to say "You shall
not escape; we will have a taste of your blood." And in this
design there seemed to be a perfect union, from the great bow-wow
down to the yelping spaniel. But at last they all ceased to roar,

24 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

bid me goodnight, and disappeared; and I was not much grieved
at the loss of their company and their music. It was a concert in
which all the discords in the whole staff were put in requisition.

The next place where the reader will find me is a barn. And
indeed I never knew the full value of such a fabrick till now.
Who can sufficiently eulogize its utility? Were I a poet, Its praises
should not go unsung. In a feeling personification, I would hail
thee as full of mercy to the brute creation, defending them from the
stormy blasts and chilling frosts of winter. Nor would I stop here;
for to how many wretched, wandering human beings hast thou
been a kind retreat! Denied even the hearth of a hard-hearted
avarice and proud unfeeling luxury, they had perished in the high
way, had not thy hospitable doors been open for their reception.
To thee, as the means of protection from floods of rain and cold,
I owe the preservation of my life.

Had I ventured into the habitations of men instead of those
of the horned ox, my escape had been impossible. Soon after es
caping the fury of the dogs, in this peaceful abode I took up my
lodgings for the night. A man coming into it in the morning, I
made bold to slide down from the hayloft; and after making some
apology for trespassing upon his premises I asked him if it was
probable I could get some refreshment in the house. He seemed
to think I could. I then entered the house and stated my wants;
but as I did not design to be a mean, dishonest beggar, just get what
I wanted and then say I had nothing to pay, or sneak off and say
nothing about pay, I told the family I had but three coppers with
me, so that if they gave me meat or drink it must be done merely
on the score of charity. But the woman seemed to be thinking
more about providing something for the relief of a wretched
sufferer, as I must have appeared to her, than about money. But
the old man was troublesome with his questions. He said it was
but a few days ago two men called at his house and told a story

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 25

which was found to be all false; and at last he observed outright"!
believe thee also is a rogue;" but the woman would now and then
as he pressed hard upon me, check him and say, "Do let him alone."
She had no questions to ask, all she wanted was to feed me, and
had it not been for her I know not what the crabbed old man would
have done with me.

And here, O woman, in gratitude to thy sex, let me, with the
famous Ledyard remark that while I have found man too often
rough and cruel when I have been a suffering stranger, or have been
borne down with discouragement and sorrow at home, I have sel
dom found thee otherwise than gentle, kind, and humane. After
I had taken my refreshment I said to the old man "I thank you for
your kindness. Here are the three coppers, all I have to carry me
a long journey." He did not take them, but said "You may give
them to that little girl." She took them, but if she was illiberal
and mean, the old man made her so. I left the house, and going
a short distance, a spacious plain opened to view, and on it, by the
tents I saw I concluded there was an encampment of soldiers. I
therefore turned aside into the field, ascended a stack of rye covered
with a Dutch cap, and here I remained all the day, it being very
stormy; but in the evening I looked out from my hiding-place and
beheld a most lovely moonshine had succeeded the storm. The
tents had all disappeared, and I took up my journey over the plain.

Sometime in the latter part of the night I reached the east
end of it and saw before me a number of buildings, though before
this I had not seen any on the plain. But no sooner had I come up
to the first house than I was drawn into a scene of the utmost
peril. In the midst of the road there was a blacksmith s shop; on
the north side there was a lane forming a right angle with the road
and leading up to an house about twelve rods from it. To the
westward of the house about eight rods distant, stood the barn, and
a lane leading from the house to it; and in the square, three sides

26 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

of which were formed by the road and these two lanes was the
garden; and in the corner of this garden near to the house, I dis
covered a number of beehives and I coveted some of the honey.
I went first up to the house, and though the door was open I saw
no light and heard no noise. But I deemed it prudent not to
climb over the fence just at the door of the house, to get at the
bees, but to take the lane down to the barn and there to get into
the garden, and come up under the cover of the fence to the bee-
house. This I did not then call stealing, for I was in an enemy s
land and might make prize of whatever I could lay my hand upon.
But this opinion I now fear, will not stand the test of the Day of
Judgment.

Having just stepped into the barnyard and not suspecting
the least danger, I saw a great number of horses tied all around
the yard, with all their manes and docks cut in uniform. I stood
motionless for a moment, and began to say to myself, "What does
this mean Can one farmer own so many horses?" But before the
thought was finished, and as unexpected as a flash of lightning in
a clear day, a dragoon coming out of the barn, with his burnished
steel glittering in the bright rays of the moon, stepped up to me
and challenged: "Who comes there?" I answered "A friend."
But before he could say "A friend to whom?" a plan of escape must
be formed and put in execution. It was formed, and succeeded.
Before he could ask the second question I roared out as if I were
angry: "Where is the well? I want to get some water." Taking
me, from this seemingly honest and fearless query, to be one of
the party, he showed me the well, and I went to it deliberately,
drew water, and escaped out of his hands. The fact was, as I
soon found, this was a detachment of horse and foot going out on
the Island for forage, to be conveyed to the army at New York;
and doubtless he supposed me to be a person, a waggoner perhaps,
attached to it. And here again I found the great advantage of

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 27

losing my hat. Having an handkerchief tied about my head helped
out the deception.

The hand of Providence was here very striking in two things :
The instantaneous invention of a plan of escape in such an unex
pected emergency. And taking from me every emotion of fear. I
was naturally timid, but here I knew not what fear was, but had
the most perfect command of myself. A little hesitancy, a little
faltering through fear, would have been fatal. After leaving the
well I went down the lane into the road near to the blacksmith s
shop. At this moment four of the party came out from behind the
opposite side of the shop, in full view, at the distance of about
three rods from me. I stood motionless and said to myself "All
is now lost!"

But their attention was taken up with a small dog with which
they were sporting; but as they did not come at once and seize me
in the brightness of the moonlight, I began again to conceive hope,
and edged away to the fence and rolled through between the two
lower rails. Soon after the men said: "Let us go to the barn and
turn in;" and immediately disappeared. Their sporting with the
dog in itself was a trifling circumstance, but to me it was a great
event. It saved my life to me in the hour of despair it brought
deliverance.

Stretched along as close as I could lie to the lower rail of the
fence, I took a little time to survey my situation on all sides, and
to discover if I could, any opening for escape. If I attempted to
save myself by going out into the open field, I must be discovered
by the sentries and picked up by a dragoon. If I remained where
I was, it would soon be daylight, and I could not be mistaken for
one of the party. About thirty rods ahead I discovered a large
house, illuminated from the ground floor to the garret. This I
was sure must be the main bivouac of both infantry and horse,
and waggons were in numbers passing on to this house. At last

28 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

I hit upon this plan: when another waggon should pass I would rise
and lay hold of it behind, and let it carry me forward into the midst
of the party, and they would suppose me to belong to it. The
driver, sitting under cover forward, would not be able to see me.
When the next waggon passed, I attempted to get hold of it but
could not overtake it, and was left alone in the midst of the road
and considerably advanced towards the house just mentioned as
the general rendezvous. And now, as no other mode of escape
offered, I resolved to walk boldly and leisurely into and through
the midst of the throng of men and horses, and waggons and sen
tries, and pass away if I could. The plan succeeded, I passed
fearlessly, with great deliberation, erect, and firm without any
shyness through the midst of them. Some eyed me carefully, yet
no one said "Who art thou?" And I was soon out of sight and
hid in a dense prim-bush fence, lest a suspicion should arise that
a strange man had passed, and a dragoon should pursue me.

Twenty miles farther to the eastward, I narrowly escaped
falling again into the hands of this same party. Had I not with
out any knowledge or intention of my own, happened to take
another road, I should have met them in full march on their re
turn, and being in the daytime, escape would have been next to
impossible. As it was my road brought me on to the ground where
the night before they had chosen to bivouac, and I found their
fires still burning.

After leaving my hiding-place in the prim-fence, I soon found
myself in a large orchard in quest of fruit; I had examined nearly
every tree and found none. But just as I was about to give up
the search, I lit upon a tree where the ground was covered with the
fairest and the richest species of apple I ever tasted. They re
freshed me as if they had been gathered from paradise, having
neither eaten nor drank anything for a considerable time. How
all the other fruit in the orchard should have been gathered in,

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 29

and the produce of this uncommonly excellent tree left, struck me
as a kind of mystery. It was no miracle, but it was a mercy to a
wretched sufferer then burning up with fever and thirst. I now
sought for and took up my lodgings in the birth-place of my
Saviour.

Prosecuting my journey on a succeeding evening, I happened
to lie opposite to an house standing a little out of the road. Be
fore I was aware of the danger a dragoon met me, and stopped so
near I could have put my hand on his holsters. Now, thought I
to myself, "I am taken," but what a blessed thing it was I lost my
hat. The old dirty handkerchief about my head saved me again.
From this appearance, taking me to be the master of the house
nearby, he says "Have you any cider?" "No sir," was my reply,
"but we expect to make next week; call then and we shall be glad
to treat you." This said, we each went his own way.

Commencing my journey at another time, early in the even
ing, I was accosted by a man of a stern appearance and address,
standing on the door-step. He wished to know whence I came
and where bound. I told him I had just sailed out of New York,
bound to Augustine in Florida, and was driven ashore by an Amer
ican privateer, a little to the eastward of Sandy-Hook, and was
making my way down to Huntington, where I belonged. "What,"
says he, "You belong to an American privateer? I wonder you
have not been taken up before". By this it seems he would have
apprehended me, had he known what I was. He was no doubt a
Long Island Tory. But I replied "Sir, you mistake me, I did not
say I belonged or had belonged to an American privateer. I
meant to say I belonged to an English vessel out of New York,
and had been driven ashore by such a privateer." Then without
further ceremony I passed on, and he did not attempt to stop me. *

*When I had got clear of the Prison-ship and commenced my journey to the East end of
the Island, one of my first concerns was to frame a story that might serve to prevent my being
seized and returned back to captivity. In this story, I mixed just as much truth and just as

80 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

And now again I sought rest and concealment, as it grew late in
the evening, and again I found it in a barn. But I had now by
exposure contracted a violent cough, and could not suppress it,
though deep sunk in a haymow. The owner coming into the
barn in the morning, heard me, but he offered me no disturb
ance, and I hoped it would have been my peaceful retreat for
the whole day. But sometime after the man who visited the barn
had left it, a number of children came up to it, and placed their
hands against the door and gave it a violent shaking, crying out
at the same time, "Come out you runaway, you thief, you rob
ber," and then retreated with great precipitation. But I did not
remove out of my bed, hoping they might not give me another such
honorable salute. But it was not long before they appeared again,
and cried out, "Come out you old rogue, you runaway, you thief.
We know you are here, for Daddy heard you cough." And then
retreated as before. And I retreated also, fearing some older
children might honor me with a visit and find out in very deed
that I was a runaway.

After I had experienced so many narrow escapes, and had now
passed, as I supposed and as proved to be the fact, beyond all
further danger from foraging parties, scouts, and patrol of a mili
tary character; and though the fever was still upon me, yet it
seemed rather to abate than to be aggravated by all the exposure,
cold, storms, fatigues, fears, anxieties and privations I endured.

much falsehood as would render it probable, and deceive an enemy. And the substance of it
was what I stated to this man; subject, however, to such variations as circumstances would re
quire. And at the time, I had no reproaches of conscience for this falsehood. It was, I sup
posed, justified by expedience or necessity. But I now wholly condemn this reasoning. I
have no idea it can be right to tell a lie to any rational being in the universe to save my life,
or even my soul. I now protest against all lies, in every shape or form; whether lies of levity,
vanity, convenience, interest, fear or malignity.

Lying is entirely inconsistent with obedience or trust in God, whether we run into it to
avoid the greatest danger, or obtain the greatest good. Peter supposed that to save his own
life he must abjure all knowledge of Christ. But did he do right? I have never heard him
justified. He did not justify himself, for when he reflected on what he had done, "he went
out and wept bitterly."

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 31

I inferred with great confidence, that it was the design of Al
mighty God that I should yet again see home; and entering a
wood where no human eye could see me, I fell upon my knees, and
looking up to heaven, I attributed to him all my deliverances, and
all the understanding, assistance and strength by which I had
been sustained; and besought the continuance of his mercy to
extricate me from all remaining danger, and sufferings, and to
complete my deliverance. I arose, and now went forward more
than ever, under a sense of the Divine goodness and protection.

LETTER IV

Kind treatment by a woman The woods, supposed impossibility of living to pass them
The steel-hearted lady The contrast Affecting circumstances of a night passed in a pious
family.

I COME now to a day in which various and interesting inci
dents occurred. I now ventured to travel in open daylight, and
no longer to ask protection from the sable honors of an absent
sun. Commencing my journey early in the morning, I came to a
large and respectable dwelling-house, and thinking it time to seek
something to nourish my feeble frame (for appetite I had scarcely
any) I entered it; neatness, wealth and plenty seemed to reside
there. Among the inmates of it a decent woman, who appeared
to be the mistress of the family, and a tailor, who was mounted
upon a large table and plying his occupation, were all that attracted
my notice. To the lady I expressed my wants, telling her, at the
same time, which was my invariable practice, if she could impart
to me a morsel it must be a mere act of charity, giving, and hoping
to receive nothing again. For poverty was a companion of which
I could not rid myself. She made no objections, asked no ques
tions, but promptly furnished me with the dish of light food I de
sired. Expressing my obligations to her, I rose to depart. But
going round through another room she met me in the front entry,

82 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

placed an hat on my head, put an apple-pie in my hand and said,
"You will want this before you get through the woods/ I opened
my mouth to give vent to the grateful feelings with which my
heart was filled. But she would not tarry to hear a word, and in
stantly vanished out of my sight. The mystery of her conduct, as
I suppose, was this; she, her family and property, were under
British government. She was doubtless well satisfied that I was a
prisoner escaping from the hands of the English ; and if she granted
me any protection or succor, knowing me to be such, it might cost
the family the confiscation of all their estate. She did not there
fore wish to ask me any questions, or hear me explain who I was,
within hearing of that tailor. He might turn out to be a danger
ous informer. I then departed, but this mark of kindness was more
than I could well bear, and as I went on for some rods the tears
flowed copiously. What a melting power there is in human kind
ness! The recollection of her humanity and pity revives in my
breast even now, the same feeling of gratitude towards her. O,
how true are Solomon s words, "A man that hath friends must
show himself friendly."

Indeed there were but two things that could thus dissolve me
in my greatest sufferings and dangers; and these were, an act of
real kindness and compassion from a stranger, and the thought of
the pungent grief my misfortunes must occasion to the kindest
of mothers. As to my father, his paternal affection and care had
been long sleeping in the grave.

But by and by I began to recollect and consider what the lady
meant by the woods. I supposed it possible there might be a
forest, four or five miles in length, through which I must pass;
of the real fact I had not the least anticipation. But very soon I
came to the woods, and found a narrow road of deep loose sand
leading through them. The bushes on both sides grew hard up
to the waggon-ruts, and there was not a step of a sidewalk of more

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 33

solid ground, and the travelling was very laborious. But I pressed-
on with what strength I had, and after a few miles supposed I was
nearly through the wilderness, and began to look ahead for cleared
land and human dwellings, but none appeared. After I had with
great labor and almost insupportable distress travelled a distance
I deemed at least nine miles, I met two men pressing on in a direc
tion opposite to my own. They seemed to be in a hurry, and
anxious to know how far I had corne in these woods. "About
nine miles," said I, "how far have you come in them?" They re
plied, "about the same distance," and immediately pushed for
ward, asking me no other question. Then said I to myself, "Here
I make my grave; farewell thoughts of home, and all earthly ex
pectations; here I must lie down and die!" My feet were swelled
so that the tumefaction hung over the tops of my shoes for three-
fourths of an inch, and I was about to seek out a favorable spot to
lie down and rise no more. But at this instant something seemed
to whisper to me, "Will it not be just as well if you must die, to
die standing up and walking?" I could not say no, and resolved
to walk on till I fell down dead. And this whisper has been of
great service to me in after life, when I have been ready to sink in
discouragement under difficulties and troubles, or opposition and
persecution. For I have since found that the Old Jersey was not
the only abode of inhumanity and woe; but the whole world is but
one great prison-house of guilty, sorrowful and dying men, who
live in pride, envy and malice, "hateful and hating one another."

When I say "I have been ready to sink under such trials,"
I have recollected these woods and said, "Will it not be as well to
die standing up as lying down?" And thus I have taken courage
and gone forward, and the result has been as auspicious. For
such was the goodness of God that I was carried through this
Long Island wilderness, and a little before sunset I discovered, as
it were, land at no great distance.

34 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

The first house I came to at the east end of these woods, I
entered in quest of humanity and pity. But these virtues ap
peared not to be at home there. Everything without and within
denoted a situation happily above penury, or the trials, vexations,
and griefs of poverty. A degree of elegance and neatness appeared.
In the kitchen I discovered a number of fish just touched with
salt and hung up and dried. My feverish appetite fixed on a piece
of one of these fish, as a rasher that might taste well. I besought
the lady of the house to give me a very small bit, but my request
was not granted. I repeated it again and again. But her denial
was irrevocable. Now thought I, I will try an experiment, and
measure the hardness of your heart. So I stated to her my sickly,
destitute condition, told her she might judge by my appearance,
that I was overwhelmed by misfortune, and had been very un
successful at sea. I wished her to consider how she would be de
lighted had she a brother or dear friend suffering in a strange land,
if any one should stretch out to him the hand of relief, minister to
his necessities, wipe away his tears, and console his heart. Indeed
I suggested every thought and plea of which I was master, that
could move an heart not made of steel. And what was it all for?
For a piece of dried bluefish, not more than two inches square!
And did I succeed? No. All my intreaties were vain, so without
murmuring, or casting on her any reflection, I took my leave.

Here O woman, thou didst for once forget thyself, and forfeit
thy character for humanity and pity. After I was gone, I pre
sume thou didst reflect upon thine own insensibility and reproach
thyself, and I most cheerfully forgive thee.

Passing on but a few rods I entered another human dwelling,
and what renders the circumstance that took place the more to be
noticed is, it appeared to be a tavern. I expressed my wants to
a lady, who I had no doubt, was the mistress of the house. By
the cheerfulness and good nature depicted in her countenance and

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 35

her first movements, I knew my suit was granted, and I had noth
ing more to say, than to apprize her that I was pennyless, and if
she afforded me any relief she must do it hoping for nothing again.
Now, behold the contrast! In a few moments she placed on the
table a bowl of bread and milk, the whole of one of those fish
roasted, that I had begged for in vain at the other house, and a mug
of cider. And, says she, "sit down and eat." But her mercy
came near to cruelty in its consequences; for although I was aware
of the danger, yet I indulged too freely. My fever was soon en
raged to violence, and I was filled with alarm.

It was now growing dark and I went but a short distance
farther, and entered an house and begged the privilege of lodging
by the fire. My request was granted, and I sat down in silence,
too sick and distressed to do or say anything. But I could see and
hear. There was no one in the house but the man and his wife.
They appeared to be plain, open hearted, honest people, who never
had their minds elated with pride, nor their taste perverted by
false refinement, or that education which just unfits persons to be
useful and happy in the common walks of life.

They possessed good common sense, which is the best kind of
sense. Everything within indicated economy and neatness, order
and competence. But what was better than all this, they ap
peared to be cordial friends to each other. It was indeed one of
the few happy matches, nor was this all, for I soon perceived they
were united by still higher principles than mere conjugal affection
it was evident that the fear of God had took up its residence
there. Before it became late in the evening the man took his
Bible and read a chapter, and that with a tone and air that in
duced me to think he believed it. He then arose and devoutly
offered up his grateful acknowledgments and supplications to
God, through the Mediator. By this time I began to think I had
got into a safe, as well as a hospitable retreat. They had before

36 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

made many inquiries, not impertinent and captious, but such as
indicated they felt tenderly, and took an interest in my welfare;
but they evidently obtained no satisfaction from my answers, for
I was too weary and distressed to take pains to form or relate any
thing like a consistent story. And I was the less careful to do it
from my supposed safety, founded on their evident fear of God,
and kind feelings. But they seemed as if they could not rest till
they had drawn from me the real truth, though they gave not the
least hint that might reproach me for the want of truth and hon
esty. At last I resolved I would treat him so no longer. I would
throw off the mask, risk all consequences, and let them into the
real secret of my condition, and said: "You have asked me many
questions this evening, and I have told you nothing but falsehoods.
Now hear the truth. I am a prisoner, making my escape from the
Old Jersey, at New York. Of the horrors of this dreadful prison
you may have been informed. There, after many sufferings, I
was brought to have no prospect before me but certain death. But
by a remarkable and unexpected interposition of Providence I got
on shore, and having had many hair-breadth escapes, I have
reached this place, and am now lodged under your hospitable roof.
I am loaded with disease; and am in torment from the thousands
of vermin which are now devouring my flesh. I have dear and
kind friends in Connecticut, and I am now aiming to regain my
native home. The kindest of mothers is now probably weeping
for me as having, ere this, perished in my captivity, never more ex
pecting to see her child. Thus I have told you the real truth. I
have put my life in your hand. Go and inform against me and I
shall be taken back to the Prison ship, and death will be inevi
table." I ceased to speak, and all was profound silence. It took
some time to recover themselves from a flood of tears in which
they were bathed. At last the kind and amiable woman said,
"Let us go and bake his clothes." No sooner said than the man
seized a brand of fire and threw it into the oven. The woman pro-

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 37

vided a clean suit of clothes to supply the place of mine till they
had purified them by fire. The work done, a clean bed was laid
down, on which I was to rest, and rest I did as in a new world;
for I had got rid of a swarm of cannibals, who w r ere without mercy
eating me up alive! And what think you were my views and im
pressions in regard to what had here passed? Never before or
since have I seen a more just, practical comment on that religion
which many profess, but few properly exemplify: "I was an hun
gered and ye gave me meat, a stranger, and ye took me in, sick and
ye visited me." With wonder and gratitude these words shined in
my very soul. Well might I have said, O Jesus, is this the re
ligion thou hast given to the human family? If it universally
prevailed, the woes of man would be relieved and heaven would
come down to earth. This happy couple who are now, in all
probability, called away by their gracious Redeemer to fill a man
sion in the skies, and are now rejoicing before the throne of Him
whom they supremely loved, appeared to enjoy a rich reward in
the mercy they had shown to a wretched stranger. It was all
they asked. It was all performed with such cheerfulness, such
tenderness, simplicity and ease, as gave to Christianity by which it
was prompted, a beauty, which must have compelled the infidel
to admire what he affects to disbelieve.

In the morning I took my leave of this dear family, who had
enchanted and riveted my soul to them by their kindness, in es
teem and gratitude, which have for fifty years suffered no abate
ment.

I learned of them a lesson of humanity I have ever remem
bered and ever wished to imitate. The day was clear, and after
travelling a short distance I threw myself down on the sunny side
of a stinted pitch pine, upon a bed of warm sand. And what a
deliverance did I now find I had experienced! My body was no
longer food for millions. I rested as on a bed of down.

88 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

LETTER V

Arrival at Sag-Harbor Kindness met with in a public house Story of the sloop and
whaleboat Escape to New London, after being captured by an American privateer near
Plumb Island Relapse of fever Unable to travel Reaches home at Plainfield (Conn.), by
assistance Life despaired of Fearful views of eternity Gives up himself as lost forever.

OMITTING the notice of intervening circumstances and
events, in about a week after this I found myself at Sag-
Harbor, at the east end of Long Island. Nor did the kind
Providence of God here forsake me. Again I found humanity
and pity in a public house. I was permitted to lie by a warm fire
(a great luxury, the weather having become cold) while two others
of my companions on board the same engine of perdition to Amer-
can seamen, having made their escape, were denied this favor,
and had to take lodgings in the barn. While lying on my bed of
down (the warm brick hearth) the door of an adjoining room where
our host and his lady slept being open, I heard her say, "I could
not consent that the other two should lodge in the house, but I
pitied this young man." But I could see no cause for this differ
ence of feeling in the woman, but the agency of Him who hath all
hearts in his hand. In a few days an opportunity of crossing the
Sound presented. A whale-boat with a commission to make re
prisals upon the enemy, came into the harbor. Her crew, as I
supposed, were a set of honest good farmers who resided at Norwich
in Connecticut, where I was born, and knew my connections.
They agreed to give me a passage to New London. A sloop also
came into the harbor with a like commission, and with a permit to
bring a family from Connecticut, who belonged on the Island.
This boat and sloop made sail together, one bound to New London,
the other to Seabrook. But the weather being very boisterous
the boat was in danger, so we all went on board the sloop, and the
boat was made fast to her by a towline. But at no great distance
from Plumb Island a privateer, which proved to be out of Stoning-
ton, pounced upon us; and under the suspicion of our being illicit

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 39

traders, carried us all into New London. And here a scene of
wickedness was developed, of which I could not have supposed my
honest friends had been capable. An agent had been sent to New
York with golden armor, and he had obtained a quantity of dry
goods and brought them to Sag-Harbor. Here the cruising whale-
boat was to receive and carry them to New London, where they
would be libelled; and some of the crew were to come into court,
and give oath that they were taken from the enemy by virtue of
their commission. And thus a trade was carried on with the ene
my to an indefinite extent. These goods were put on board the
sloop, when the boat was made fast to her. And when the pri
vateer appeared and we could not escape from her, the captain of
the sloop agreed to declare the goods were his, and that he had
taken them as a lawful prize from the enemy. And the crew of the
whale-boat, the purchasers and owners of the goods, were to swear
they saw him do it. The goods being condemned, the captain of
the sloop was then to act like an honest rogue and to restore them
to the crew of the boat. But after the goods were actually con
demned and the crew of the boat, the real owners, had in open court
sworn that the goods were his by lawful capture, the captain of the
sloop thought he had now a fair opportunity to play upon them a
profitable trick; accordingly, he refused to restore them and went
off with the goods, sloop and all, to Connecticut river. But the
crew of the boat were not willing thus to quit all claim to the goods,
though they had sworn they were not theirs, and contrived to have
the sloop with the goods again seized. And I, who knew the whole
story, was sent for as a witness. And by my testimony, and that
of one of the whale-boat s crew, who had not testified before that
the goods were captured by the captain of the sloop, the real truth
came to light, and both sloop and goods were condemned; so that
the crew of the whale-boat ultimately obtained not only their
goods, but the sloop also, as an illicit trader. And thus the treach
ery of the captain did not prove so gainful as he intended. He was

40 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

taken in his own craftiness. An event so common, that it is a
matter of wonder that all rogues do not grow sick of their villainy.

In this business it was hard to tell who were the most un
principled offenders; who thought least of the guilt of perjury, and
trampling under foot the laws of their country. These cruising
boats were sometimes guilty of great injustice and barbarity to
wards the peaceful and friendly inhabitants of the Island.

There was no small excitement at Sag-Harbor when I first
arrived there, by what had just been done by one of them. They
entered an house, and not content with other plunder, they tore
from the neck of a woman just confined, her golden necklace.
How awfully true are the words of Paul: "For they that will be
rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and
hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For
the love of money is the root of all evil." 1 Tim. vi. 9, 10.

I had now travelled an hundred and fifty miles, and was
safely landed at New London. And to me it was a great mercy
that we were captured by the privateer out of Stonington; other
wise I should have been carried into Connecticut river, much
farther from home. But no sooner did I set my foot down in a
land of safety, than I immediately sank under the power of that
disease which had preyed upon me ever since I left the Prison ship.
It will perhaps scarcely be believed, that I could have travelled so
far, encountered such hardships, braved the chilling storms of
autumn, put up in the cold retreat of barns, shivering in wet
clothes, drenched in rain, without medicine, nursing, or any diet
commonly esteemed proper, and yet all this time have been under
the operation of an inveterate and settled fever. I should myself,
have judged that scarcely any person could, in such a condition,
have survived. I should have supposed his fever must have come
to a speedy crisis, and he must most probably have died. But
this was not the case. The fever did not seem to be on the whole

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 41

much increased, but it stuck fast to me. And what follows will
put this matter out of question. After arriving at New London I
could travel only about three miles; and all my strength failed,
under the revived power and rage of the fever. But in this, per
haps, the kind hand of woman had some agency. The lady at
Sag-Harbor who pressed me in her pity, thought of my welfare
after I should leave her house; and unsolicited gave me a meat pie
and a bottle of cider. Though I had riot much relish for the pie,
yet my thirst tempted me to drink of the liquid. I had before
drank freely at the press without injury. But here is the difference:
the cider in the bottle was fermented. I think it had some hand
in producing a relapse.

When I could go no farther, I found a man who was kind
enough to carry me up to Norwich Landing. And I tarried there
with a relative till my friends at Plainfield were informed of my
arrival, and my eldest brother came with a carriage to help me
home. The first night I lodged with a brother at Canterbury.
This night I deemed myself to be dying, and going directly to my
long home. But the next day, I so revived as to reach the dwell
ing of my mother. A most affectionate mother, who always
seemed willing to live or die for the good of her children, and who
had made up her mind to submit to the will of God, and never more
to see her son; and a child broken down with sickness and other
calamities, and needing all her soothing attentions, can imagine
what a kind of meeting it was! For a day or two it seemed to me
I was getting better. I was unwilling to be sick any longer. I
now wished to live and enjoy home; and I almost resolved I would
no longer complain of pain or weakness. I would get well at all
events. But the will of God was not so, and I perceived it was
vain to strive with my Maker. My resolution failed, my heart
sunk. I took my bed, and, as almost every one supposed, to rise
no more. The doctor was sent for. And that every wave of sor
row and discouragement might break upon me and sink me to the

42 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

lowest depth, he said to a friend, "I could not recover, unless I
was all made over new;" and a young man of my acquaintance
told me of it. My fever raged I felt a pain in my head, piercing
as if a sword had been run through it my reason fled. For
about three weeks I was in a state of perfect derangement, and not
able to articulate a word so as to be understood. I remember
making the attempt. My sister listened and listened, but could
not understand me, and I ceased from the effort as in vain. But
it is a great mistake to suppose deranged people have no thoughts,
and are insensible to suffering and pain.

In my derangement I lost all idea of being a human creature.
I felt and saw myself to be a very stately tree, whose trunk soon
divided itself into three great branches. I saw r nothing of the
form of a man about me, and was not conscious there was any such
being in the universe. By some means one of these great branches
was split down, and the pain of this disaster was immense.

It may seem strange, but of all this I have ever since pre
served a perfect remembrance, as of a thing that had taken place
in the full exercise of my reason. But in the midst of this period
of derangement I had a short, though perfectly lucid interval.
Heaven and earth, time and eternity, life and death, God and re
ligion, again assumed the character of momentous realities. I
now found myself, as I supposed, just breathing my last, my
spirit just quitting its tenement of clay. But my views and feel
ings now were such as to set at nought all the powers of description.
I had heretofore been oft awakened to a sense of danger as a sin
ner. The first instance of it took place when I was about ten
years old, but I as often relapsed again into sin. I had offered up
to heaven innumerable prayers, and was sometimes ready to
think I understood and possessed religion, though I could get no
strong hold of the divine promises, nor enjoy much comfort in the
hope of final salvation.

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 43

The fact was, I knew but little about myself. I was very
much a stranger to my own heart. But now my whole inner man
seemed to be made as luminous as the most transparent glass.
It seemed as though nothing good or bad could lurk in any corner
of it unseen; till this moment I never had an idea of any such self-
knowledge. But as to anything truly pure and holy, my soul ap
peared a perfect blank. As to external actions, though I could
have made out a list of them equal, perhaps, to some other self-
righteous man, yet my mind was perfectly turned away from these,
as not to be thought of, and fixed on the state of my heart. In it
I could discover no feeling, exercise or emotion, on which I could
rest as genuine repentance towards God and faith in the Lord
Jesus Christ. For aught I could see my religion went no farther
than that of devils; like them I did believe, I did tremble. For I
had a deep conviction of all the awful realities of a future state, as
revealed in the Gospel. But it seemed now absolutely too late
to ask or expect any mercy. I ceased to pray. I gave myself
up to certain damnation, and sunk down in perfect and black des
pair. But this I now know to be a criminal unbelief. It was noth
ing but pride and hardness of heart that prevented my coming to
Christ, in what now appeared my last moment. But though I
supposed it to be certain that God intended to cast my soul into
hell, I did not feel any sensible or raging enmity rising against him.

I was so guilty and so justly condemned, that my mouth
was completely stopped. And dreadful as was my state of mind,
I had not the least confidence in any of those refuges of lies in which
proud, healthy, prosperous sinners can hide themselves. The hail
of God s wrath pouring down upon my soul, swept them away.
Infidelity could afford me no aid. I could no more doubt the
truth of what the Bible saith of the future state of the wicked, than
I could doubt my own existence. As to guilt, remorse, terror and
despair, I was then in hell, and how could I doubt its reality?

44 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

I had in some period of my life tried to be a Universalist,
and great pains had been taken by a medical friend of liberal edu
cation to make me so. But in this awful crisis, this doctrine ap
peared to me to be folly and madness. It afforded not the least
gleam of hope. It had not the power of a straw to ward off the
lightning of heaven s wrath. For I knew the Holy Ghost had said,
"Without holiness no man shall see the Lord." And I had a per
fect conviction that I was not the subject of even the least degree
of this holiness. I said to myself "In a few minutes I shall know
what hell is;" and was rather impatient to be gone, and know the
worst of it. But now, as might be expected under this terrible
and overwhelming view of my situation, my reason again fled.

About ten days after this, an unexpected and favorable crisis
was formed in my disease, and I awaked as it were out of the
grave. I say unexpected, for my death was looked for as certain.
A joiner who lived near at hand, afterward told me, that having
seen me the evening before, and my brother calling at his house the
next morning, he did not ask him how I did, having no doubt but
he had come to speak for my coffin. Dr. Parish, who was then
fitting for college at the academy at Plainfield, likewise told me
that he not only regretted my death as certain, but the suspension
of his studies to attend my funeral.

When I found myself recovering it occasioned a kind of regret,
on the ground that I should have the affair of dying all to go over
again. But still I could not but consider myself as a brand plucked
from everlasting burnings. But it turned out in the end that this
fearful view of the certain perdition of such as die impenitent, did
not convert my soul. I entered into many solemn vows, ever
after, to live to God; but I proved unfaithful to these vows. For
it is not in the nature of an unconverted heart to be steadfast and
faithful in a covenant with God.

There were at this time certain evangelical and important

100

THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 45

truths, of which I was not convinced, and without which I con
ceive there can be no sound conversion. I did not know what it
was to be dead in trespasses and sins. Though I found my heart
was not right in the sight of God, yet I did not know that I was
such a slave to sin that there was no moral power in me ever to
turn from it, to the real love of holiness. Hence, to change my
heart and lead an holy life, I secretly depended on myself, and not
on a divine influence. This, I fear, is the great error of thousands.
Hence their awakenings and their conversions come to nothing.
This entire moral helplessness and dependence on the Spirit of
God, to give a new heart and power to live a new life, I trust I
was afterwards taught by experience to understand.

Another circumstance of spiritual darkness was, I did not
possess a clear view of the essential and momentous distinction
between false religious affections and such as were genuine. I
was ready to think all sorrow for sin, all kinds of repentance, all
kinds of love to God and Christ were real religion. But this I
afterwards found to be a most dangerous error. Like Peter s love
to Christ when he would not have him go up to Jerusalem and
suffer, so a great deal of love to God is nothing but hatred. Some
may love him so well that they cannot bear to hear his true char
acter ascribed to Him. They think it is heaping dishonor upon
Him, which they cannot bear Is this true love? At last, I trust
I found that no love of God has any religion in it but that which
primarily arises in the soul, from a view of the infinite excellence
and moral beauty of the divine character, considered just as it is,
independent of all selfish considerations.

It is a grand discovery in religion to find that the greatest and
most glorious, and even the very least exercise of it, consists in
that charity which seeketh not its own. For the want of this dis
covery how does selfishness, illiberality, avarice, indifference to the
honor of God and the best interests of men, prevail in the character
of many professors of Godliness.

101

46 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE

Some time in the latter part of October, 1781, I arrived at
home. And near the close of winter I so far regained my health,
through the great kindness of the God of love, as to engage in the
instruction of a school in the town where I resided; and since that
period almost my whole life has been devoted to the instruction of
youth, and preaching the everlasting Gospel. And whether my
life has been in any degree useful, or whether it would have been,
as to the glory of God and the good of mankind, as well that I
should have made my grave in the Old Jersey, will doubtless be
made manifest in the last day. Of one thing I am certain, that is,
it becomes me to say to the God of unchanging love, in review of
the whole history of my life,

"Thy thoughts of love to me surmount
The power of numbers to recount."

THE END.

102

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