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Full text of "The original works of William King ... Now first collected ... With historical notes, and memoirs of the author"

mm 




DUKE UNIVERSITY 




LIBRARY 



The Glenn Negley Collection 
of Utopian Literature 




Digitized by the Internet Archive 
in 2010 with funding from 
Duke University Libraries 



http://www.archive.org/details/originalworksofw02king 



THE 



ORIGINAL WORKS 



I N 



VERSE AND PROSE 



O F 



DR. WILLIAM KING. 



VOLUME If, 



THE ORIGINAL WORKS 
o F 

WILLIAM KING, LL. D. 

ADVOCATE OF DOCTORS COMMONS ; 

JUDGE OF THE HIGH COURT OF ADMIRALTY 

AND KEEPER OF THE RECORDS IN IRELAND, 

AND VICAR GENERAL TO THE LORD PRIMATE. 

NOW FIRST COLLECTED INTO THREE VOLUMES: 
WITH HISTORICAL NOTES, AND MEMOIRS OF THE AUTHOR. 

VOLUME THE SECOND. 




Certes lie was a moft engaging wightj 

Of focial glee, and wit humane though keei. ; 

Turning the night to day, and day to night. 

LONDON, 

PRINTED FOR THE EDITOR; AND SOLD BY N. CONAST, 

SUCCESSOR TO MR. WHISTON, IN FLEET-STREET. 

MDCCLXX V I. 



ITOP/A 

K5-H-0 
V.& 

THE TRANSACT I ONEER; 

With fomc of his 

PHILOSOPHICAL FANCIES: 
IN TWO DIALOGUES. 

Fiiir printed in the Year 1 700. 

"Ofcj xyut (ivrvgtx. Adag. ap. Erafm. 

f* Nugh addere pondus." Hor. Ep. I. xix. 42. 

f Nothing wounds fo much as jeft : and when men once become 
51 ridiculous, their labours will be flighted." Wotton, 



VO L. II. 



*! Since the world abounds in the nobleft fields of fpeculatiori, 

it is, methinks,the mark of a little genius, to be wholly convcrfant 

among infects, repacks, animalcules, and thofe trifling rarities 

that furnifh out the apartment of a Virtuofo. There are fome 

men whofe heads are fo oddly turned this way, that, chough they 

are utter ftrangers to the common occurrences of life, they are 

able to difcover the fex of a cockle, or defcribe the generation of 

a mite, in all its circumftances. They are fo little verfed in the 

world, that they fcarcely know a horfe from an ox j but, at the 

fame time, will tell you, with a great deal of gravity, that a flee 

is a rhinoceros, and a fnail an hermaphrodite. I have known one 

of thefe whimiical Philofcphers, who has fee a greater value upon 

a collection of fpiders than he would upon a flock of fheep, 

and have fold his coat off his back to purchafe a tarantula. — 

I would not have a fcholar wholly unacquainted with theie 

fecrets and curiofities of Nature; but certainly the mind of man, 

that is capable of fo much higher contemplation, fhould not be 

altogether fixed upon fuch mean and difproportionate objects. 

Obfervations of this kind are apt to alienate us too much from 

the knowledge of the world, and to make us ferious upon trifles ; 

by which means they expofe Philofophy to the ridicule of the 

whty, and contempt of the ignorant." Tatler, N° 216. 



[ 3 I 

PREFACE. 

BY the following Dialogues it is apparent, that by in- 
dultry alone a man may get fo much reputation, almoll 
in any profeffion, as (hall be fufficient to amufe the world, 
though he has neither parts nor learning to fuppoit it. 
The perfon who makes the chief figure in them has cer- 
tainly nothing but a buftling temper to recommend him ; 
and yet has gained fo much upon many people, that they 
will fcarce believe the evidence of their own fenfes ; but it 
is probable that thofe who are not pafl cure may now be 
undeceived. 

I have treated him under two characters : as an Author 
and an Editor a . In the former I have confidered his own 

perfonai 

a Dr. Hans Sloane was the Editor of the " Philofophical 
11 TranfaCUons," from Nov. 30, 1693, when he entered on the 
office of Secretarv, to Nov. 30, 1712, when he was fucceeded by 
Dr. Halley ; and the volumes which were published in that period 
(though fome particular trcatifes might juftly fumiih a fund of 
ridicule to a Humourilt) are monuments of his induftry and 
ingenuity, many of the pieces being written by himfelf. In the 
fame period he publifhed his famous " Catalogus Plantarum," 
which proved another fource of pleafantrv in cite hands of Dr. 
King. — Dr. Sloane, it is univerfally allowed, was a great Phy- 
iician and Natural ilt, and poiieilcd manv amiable qualities ; 
it is on the fcore only of credulity and vanity, that our Author 
lias leveled his attack. — He was born, April 16, 1660, at Killi- 
lcagh in Ireland : but a defire of perfecting himfelf in Phyficfc 
led him early to London, where he ftudied Botany at the famous 
garden at Chelfea, and clofely attended the public lectures of 
Anatomy and Phyfick. After four years hard lhuly, he went to 
Paris, and fpent a confiderable time in the fame laudable purfuits. 
He returned to London in 1684, to fettle in his profeffion ; and 
Was admitted a Fellow of the Royal Society in January fol- 
lowing, and of the College of Phylicians in 1687. The fame year 
he attended the duke of Albemarle to Jamaica, where he made his 
moll aftonilhing collection in the fhort fpace of fifteen months. He 
B ;. w^s 



4 PREFACE. 

jierfonal capacity : in the other, his judgement in the choice 
of his friends, and or the difcourfes that he publishes. 

I know it may be laid, he writes in a hurry, and has not 
time to correct and finilh it. But then who obliges him to 
write at all ? what occafion is there tor it ? or what is the 
ufe of it ? Befides, he p'ublifties notes forfboth, and pieces of 
no more than five, fix, or perhaps eight lines ; and wh.n 
time Cu\\ there be required lor the cpmpofal of inch? It is 
plain a man that is hjmfelf once pollened or" any fubjeft can 
e>:prefs it to another, it he has but language. If his head 
be clear, and the things rightly digefled in it, there can be 
no difficulty in the conveying of them thence. But where 
a man has no real parts, and is mailer of only fcraps picked 
up from one and trom another, or collected out or this 
book or that, and thefe all in confufion in his head, it is 
obvious what a Writer lie mutt needs make. No, our Tranf- 
aftioneer Ih'ould have kept to his old way of bunding, vying 
with Dr. Salmon b at auctions, mufteripg up books for a (hew, 

and 

<#,as Secretary to the Royal Society, ns we have find, from 1693 to 

i- : ir\ and was frequently cojafulted as a phyfician by Queen 

Anne, lie was created a baronet, April :, 1716; and appointed 

ph\ fician general to the army. He was chofeji Piefidentof the Col- 

1 I Phyficians, Sept. 30, 1719- In 1721, he fettled the Cbelfea 

1 on the company of Apotheparies, on condition only of 

presenting, yearly, fifty new plants to the Royal Society, till 

•..inner fhoi to two thousand. In 1-::, he was 

ian in ordinary to king George II ; and the fame 

year Succeeded Sir I :'aac Newton as Prefident of the Royal Society; 

luties of which refpec^able office he performed till 174.0, 

. of fouricore, he determined to retire to Chelfea ; 

where he died, Jan. 11, 1-;;. His valuable cabinet of rarities he 

. .v.lied to the publjck, on condition of twenty thoufand pounds 

made good to his family, though the tull coil of it e\- 

1 fifty thoufand. The parliament, accepting the legacy, 

i •! c cor.' . . ' an act paiTctl in 17^3 j and thus laid the 

able repository the Britifh MuTeuihi 

u William Salmon was an early pretender to phyfick; which 

he ptactifed, with various fucceis, for a long couife of ycais. 

lie publifhed a ci ble number of medical books, the pfin- 

of which Wi ' Seplafium ;" "The Complete 1'liy- 



iiciao 



PREFACE. 5 

arid .of acYing by figns, fcrapes, and wriggles. Half-fen- 
tences and broken phrales, with thefe affiftances, pafied pretty 
well upon fome. But he mult appear in print, ftript of 
them, and now all is out ; the world having got at length 
the true mealure of his abilities. 

Perhaps it may feem ft range, that I, who am no Member 
of the Royal Society, fhould deal fo freely with ihe perfon 
anil lbme correfpondents of one who is flipped into the 
poll of Secretary to that illuftrious Body. But I am moved 
by the refpedl I have for Natural Studies, and a fear leaft 
thofe men who have made fuch great advances in it, and 
thereby gained the applaufe of all the learned world, fhould 
lofe any part of it by the trifling and (hallow management 
of one who wants every qualification that is requifite for 
fuch a poif. All who read his " Tranfac~tions," either in 
England or beyond the Teas, cry out, "That the fubjecls which 
" he writes on are generally fo ridiculous and mean ; and he 
<c treats ot them fo emptily, and in a ftyle fo confufed and un- 
" intelligible, that it is plain he is fo far from any ufeful know- 
*' ledge, that he wants even common grammar." This is fo 
notorious from every line he has publifhed, that his oJvn 
words will be the belt proof ot what I fay : and I hare been 
fo careful in producing them, that I defy him to (hew he 
is once mifreprefented. Nay, there is Co little need of that, 
that I challenge any man, with all his art, to imitate the 
bulls and blunders which he fo naturally pours forth. 

" fician ;" a large " Herbal" in folio ; and " Polvgraphice." He 

had a great library, which was far more copious than valuable ; 

and the fame may be laid of his compilations. He was a great 

render of ncftrums, which was, and is lull, a much better trade 
'■.:t pi book-making. He died, wealthy, in the middle of 

December, 17 12 ; and his great library was fold by auction, by T. 

Ballard, in November, 17 13. Dr. Garth plainly hints at thii 

Author in his Difpenlary : 

" Cowflips and poppies e'er his eves he fpread, 
" And Salmon's works he laid beneath his head." 

See Granger, vol. 1\. p. 25. 

B 3 Hi» 



6 PREFACE. 

His correspondents are moft of them fo like himfelf for 
learning and underftanding, that a man may almoll fwear 
they were cad in the fame mould : indeed he has had a very 
lucky hit in the ch >ice of them. 

I am forry 10 fee that excellent Society in any hazard of 
being eclipled by the wi etched gambols of thefe people. 
Learned men abroad have ever very juftly had a vait eifeem 
for the Engiifli Society: but I find that now like to decline; 
they having no other way of judging of it but by the 
*' Philofophical Tranfac~tions." The world every where 
looks on them as a kind of Journal of the Royal Society, 
though there is no ground for that opinion ; for they were 
begun by Mr. Oldenburg c , who all along declared the Royal 
Society were not concerned in thofe Tranfadlions, but that 
they were a work of his own and fome friends. At that 
time they were carried on in fuch a manner, that they met 
every where with approbation, and were of real ufe. But, 
fince this new Secretarylhip, all agree a more ufelefs paper 
no where appears ; and I was concerned that fuch a one 
fhould pafs for a work of the Royal Society. 

It is their vindication that has drawn me to undertake this ; 
and if I can but difabufe the world by it, I have my end. 
I can truly fay, that I have no perfonal prejudice to the 
prefent Tranfadtioneer or any of his friends ; for I am but 
little known to any of them : and if they now think I have 
no defign to recommend myfelf to their acquaintance, I 
fancy the Reader will not believe they are miitaken. 

c This learned German philofopher was born at Bremen ; and, 
fettling at Oxford, was one of the firlt Fellows of the Royal 
Society ; he was choien Affiltant Secretary to Dr. Wilkins, and 
began the publication of their Transactions, which he continued 
■ till N° 36. He died in February, 1678. The Tranfaftions were 
continued by his iuccellbr Mr. Grew. 



DIALOGUE 



[ 7 ] 

DIALOGUE I. 

BETWEEN 

A GENTLEMAN and a VIRTUOSO. 

Yirt.T) RAY, Sir, what philofophical news have you heard 
X of late amongft our friends ? and what new difcoveries 
or improvements have they made ? 

Gent. Truly, Sir, I have fcarce enquired after philofophical 
news, fince Dr. Plot d and Mr. Oldenburg e were taken from, 
amongft us ; not but that there are a great many men of learning 
and merit frill remaining, who bear not only the titles of Vir- 
tuofi, but really deferve them. 

Virt. And are not the improvements they make worth en- 
quiring after ? 

Gent. Yes, Sir. But, thofe are only communicated to friends ; 
and, fince they have thought fit to conceal them, I know not whe- 
ther I may take the liberty of divulging what is kept as fecret by 
the Authors. 

Virt. Nay, whatever hath been communicated as a fecret, I 
lhall not defire you to divulge ; though methinks it is a pity any 
thing fhould be kept private, that might be of public ufe, and 
promote natural knowledge. But may I take the liberty to afk 
you why they are unwilling to publifh them ? 

Gent. Since you defire me to tell you the reafons, I fhall ac- 
quaint you with them as far as I am able. 

Virt. Sir, I fhall efteem it a fingular favour. 

Gent. Then you muft know, Sir, thele Gentlemen have that 
vaft opinion of the prefent " Philofophical Tranfattions," and the 
papers communicated therein, that they are unwilling to publifh 
their poor difcoveries or improvements amongft fubjecls fo nobic 
in themfelves, and fo accurately written. 

d He was birn in 1641 ; was elected one of the Secretaries to the 
Royal Society in 16S2, and published their Tranfaftions from Kc 145 
to 166 inclusive. He died April 3, 1696. 

e Ses above, p. 6. 

B 4 Virt. 



S THE TRANSACT IONEER. 

Virt. Truly their caution is but requi Cue : for, in the late 
Tranfadtions, moft of the fubjccls are indeed mull prodigioufly 
fublime, and penned too in a wondrous manner : fo that it i> a 
hard matter for the generality of Virtuofi, who imitate Bacon, 
Boyle, or men of that character, to write in the language ob- 
fervable in moil: of thofe papers ; for there the cxprefhons are 
fuitable to the fublimity of the fubjefts, and confequently mighty 
mvfterious, and above the reach of thefe Gentlemen. 

Gent. Yes, Sir. The fublimity of the ftvle makes it inac- 
ceffible to thofe that are not accuftomed to fuch flights. 

Virt. Why, it is no wonder ; for you muft know the " Fhi- 
" lofophical Tranfaclions" come through the hands of one, who 
takes care that every thing be nobly and clearly exnreffed, and 
by his own writings, which fo plentifully adorn thofe papers, 
one may fee, is abundantly qualified for the talk he has taken upon 
him. 

Gent. Pray are not the " Philofophical Tranfaclions" then 
publifhed By direction of the Royal Sbciery ? 

VtRT. No, no, Sir; far from it : that lies all upon one man" 
head ; and it is happy he has fo good a head-piece, 

Gent. May oi;e be fo bold as to afk the Compiler's name - 
Virt. I f up pole you cannot but have heard of one who is fo 
famous, and keeps correfpondence with lo many learned men : 
his name is fufficiently known amongft the Learned. 

Gent. If I guefs right at die man, 1 rnufi needs fay, I have 
heard a gre.it many mighty things faid of him— very line things 
indeed — and much to his renown ! 

Virt. O, Sir, he is a great man; for, befides his wonderful 
fkifl in phynck and philofophy, he has a llrange talent at Jljle : 
his knack at that is admirable. To coin ir.ee you of this, 1 ihall 
refer you to the " Philofophical Transactions," N° 252. p. 188; 
where you will find the following " reprefeniation of a lirnc- 
" ftbne marble found in Wales, wlieii ppmhed.;" fo his Intel- 
ligencer phrafes it. 

Gent. Admirable indeed ! 

Virt. Why! there lies the rarity of the thing: for an or- 
dinary Reader would think it was polilhed before it was fuuml. 
But, Sir, the Tranfaclioneer himfelf far ourlliips him, in bis Note 
upon this remarkable piece ; take it in his own words : " This 
'• ftone is a fort of coral, and the Lapidu Afiroitulis, Jive Jit liar is 

" jrhnum 



DIALOGUE I. 9 

■ primum genus, Boet do Boadt ; or Afiro'ites, Worm. Muf. Ir 
*' grows in the feas adjoining to Jamaica ; it is frequently found 
" foffile in England. 1 have iome of it found here that will polilh 
" as well as agat, which was many years fined found out by Mr. 
•• Beaumont. There are many other things growing in the feas 
" adjoining to Jamaica, and not to be found in thefe parts, which 
" are frequently dug up in the inland parts of England, and elfe- 
•' where, where they do not naturally grow." 

Gent. Prav, Sir, let me defire you to give the meaning of 
what you have related in plain Englilh ; for the fublimity of this 
way of exprefhon is above my mean capacity. 

Virt. The dignity of the fubjeft will by no means admit of 
it. Beiides, it will be an injuftice and leffening of the Author's 
performance. 

Gent. However, for difcourfe fake, pray let me afk ycu, 
what he means by that propofition this " ftone is a coral ?" 

ViRi. O, Sir, his meaning is very apparent. It is as much 
as if one fhould fay, " this elephant is an apple-tree." Now I 
hope it is plain ! There are fome tattling people likewife that 
lay, they cannot tell what he means by Aftroitidis neither. They 
fav, there is no precedent of any fuch word ; but, if they look into 
the Jamaican Catalogue, they will find thoufands of like kind. 
Why a perfon of his figure may make precedents, man ! For 
what follows, one poor firnple fellow that read it thought it had 
been a charm. 

Gent. Very like ! But pray, Sir, how arc we to interpret him, 
when he fays, the " lime-i'lone marble," that was " found in 
u Wales," and was " a coral," and the " Lapidis," and the Lord 
knows what, " grew in the feas adjoining to Jamaica?" Befidcs, 
what he has about its being " found" and " found again" has al- 
moft confounded me, I muft confefs. His Intelligencer fays, 
it was " found in Wales." He, that it " grows in the feas or 
" Jamaica :" that " it is frequently found foffile" (ma:k the 
phrafe) " in England ;' : that he " has fome of it found here, 
4< which was many years fince found out bv Mr. Beaumont ; 
" that there are many things found in the feas of Jamaica, not to 
** be found in thefe parts (i. e. in England), which are frequently 
" to be dug up in the inland parts of England, where yet, after 
** all, they do not grow." This, in my fenfe, is, to fay it was 
" found in Wales/* but " grew in Jamaica." It was " fre- 

" quently 



jo THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

*' quently found in England ;" and, by way of reinforcement, it 
was " found here," and " many years fince found ;" and that 
" there are many things growing in thofe feas, not found in thefe 
" parts of England, which are frequently dug up (or found) in 
" the inland parts of England, where yet they do not grow, or 
(' are not found." This to a man of ordinary undcrftanding is 
pretty odd ! What would the drift of this be, did the Author put 
it into Englifh ? 

Virt. I fee, Sir, you are altogether a ftranger to the language 
of our Author's writings, and the prefent " Philofophical Tranf- 
" actions j" otherwife you would eafily have known the meaning 
of all this. Had you read them as often as I, our way of ex- 
preffing ourfelves would have been a little more familiar to you : 
therefore have but recourfe to them, and your difficulties will 
van.ilh. Mean while, to proceed to other inftances of the excel- 
lency and perfe&ions of our Author's flyle. N» 237, p. 52, we 
are informed, that " the herb taken by Dampier to be Jew's-ear 
" is the Lichen terrefiris cinereus defcribed by Mr. Ray ; and 
" grows in moft barren places about London, and all over Eng- 
" land." 

Gent. I thought barren places had not been fo well flocked 
with herbs ! 

Virt. Strange ! what it is to be unacquainted with a modern 
ftyle ! You altogether mifapprehend the Author's peculiar way 
of exprcfhng himfelf. 

Gent. I mult confefs, I do not well undcrfland it; for I 
thought that, fince they grew in barren places and all over Eng- 
land, the Author had thought all England barren. 

Virt. No, by no means : all England is not barren. But T 

fhall leave the Author to explain himfelf. I fhall rather proceed 

,to other inftances of our Tranfaction-writer's great abilities. I 

fuppofe vou have heard of Jamaica pepper. See " Tranfa&ions," 

N° 192, p. 4G4. 

Gent. Yes, Sir; every kitchen-girl about the town knows 
Jamaica pepper. But why do you afk me that queftion ? 

"S "irt. Becaufe, if you had not heard of it, I mould have given 
you a fuller account of it. But, fince you know it already, I 
(hall entertain you with a copy of verfes upon it, written by our 
Author ; 

" Myrtus 



DIALOGUE L 11 

" Myrtus arborea foliis laurinis ar-omatica : five 
" Pieraenta, Jamaica Pepper, or All-fpice-txee. 
" This tree hath a trunk as thick as one's thigh, 
" Rifing ftreight for about 30 foot high." 
Gent. Mod excellent Poetry indeed ! 

Virt. Yes, Sir j it is a mixture of defigned Poetry and acci- 
dental Poetry. 

Gent. Pray what diftin&ion do you make betwixt defigned 
and accidental Poetry ? 

Virt. Whv, the two firft verfes were defigned for verfes ; but 
the third and fourth were written for profe, and happened to be 
poetical — according to our Author's genius. 

Gent. In what parts of Jamaica does this tree grow? 
Virt. " It grows on the hilly parts of the Ifland of Jamaica* 
*' but chiefly on the North fide thereof; and wherefoever thefe 
" trees grow, they are generally left ftanding when others are 
** felled ; or they are fometimes planted where they never grew, 
" becaufe of the great profit from the cured fruit." 

Gent. The truth of the matter is, thefe gardeners are ge- 
nerally politicians in their way ; for, if I mifremember not, the 
fame meafures are generally taken in England : for apple and 
cherry-trees are generally left ftanding, and planted fometimes 
" where they never grew, though other fort of trees are felled 
" down and burnt, and not otherwife regarded." But now you 
talk of gardening; if I remember right, I have heard that this 
fame learned gentleman is a great Botanift. 

Virt. An extraordinary one ! I^» 192, he gives the following 
juft account of the Arbor baccifera, laurifolla, aromatica, /rutin 
'viridi calyculato ramofo. " The bark confifts of two parts, one 
M outward, and another inward." 

Gent. That is common to all Barks; for I know none but 
what hath an out-fide and an in-Hde. 

Virt. But you mifapprehend ; this bark is different from all 
others, for it is two Barks ; our Author ufes parts and barks as 
fynonymous terms. 

Gent. But how will your Author make " the bark" two 

BARKS ? 

Virt. This he does by dividing the word bark in two parts, 
and then calling each of thofe parts a bark ; for, fays he, " the 
" outward bark is as thin as a milled Hulling, the inward bark being 

" as 



it THE TRANSACTIONESR. 

«* as thick ai a milled crown-plccc." Mark the aptntfs of the 
fimihes. But the excellence of our Author in describing plants 
will be much more evident if we look upon what follows : for a 
little after he adds, " The ends of the twigs arc branched into 
" bunches of flowers, (landtag fomething like Umbels, each of 
u which hath a foot-ftalk, on the top of which is a Calyx, made 
" up of fome Foliola, in which ftand five purple Petala, within 
" which is a large Stylus." 

Gent, Pray where lies the excellence of all this ? The ftyle 
is fo lofty, I am not able to difcern it. 

Virt. The excellence ! Where mould it lie, but in the Um- 
bels, the Calyx, the Foliola, and the purple Petala; thefe are 
high-flowing words, and not common Englifh. But to proceed : 
" To thefe follow fo many calyculated berries." 

Gent. Pray what is the meaning of " calyculated hemes ?" 

ViRT. It is only a term of our Author's. 

Gent. And is the phrafe " to thefe follow" your Author's 
too? 

Yirt. Yes, yes ; a peculiar phrafe of his own. 

Gent. Indeed he is a happy man, in forming new phrafes, 
and in coining of words. 

Virt. Our friend Mr. Ray f , Sir, is every whit as happy at 
invention ; foV, N° 221, in his account of our Author's " Cata- 
" logue of Jamaica Plants," he not only tells us, that the Doctor 
" refolvcs many doubts and difficulties in it" relating to the 
" Toddy tree," the " Sower-fop," the " Bonaviils," and the 
" Dildoe ;" but, to make it moreufeful and entertaining, has added 
this very learned note of his own: " Gtterum Dildoe normullis 
" Priapum fiftitium fignjficat, quo etfraenis lafcivae mulisrculse 
" abuti folent, ad nefariae quoddam libidinis genus feu coitum 

f Mr. John Ray was born at Braintrec in Effex, Nov. 20, i€x?; and 
educated in that town : whence he was fent to Catharine Hall, Cambridge, 
and afterward removed to Trinity College. In 1651, he wis chu.fen 
Creek lefturer to the college ; in 1653, matherratical lefterer } ?rd in 
1055, humanity reader. In 1660, he publifhc.l " A Catalogue of the 
" Cambridge Plants j" and was ordained Dec. 23, that year. H ; .s writ r..j 
aft r this period, particularly thofe on Natural Hiftory, are very numerous 
snJ valuable; and it is with plenfurc we are able to fcy, the curious n.ay 
(bod fevped to fee * com) lets collection of tl crn. 

" umbrattlem 



DIALOGUE I. t 3 

" umfiratilerfl exorccndum 5." But wliy do I infift fo much upon 
our Author's (kill in coining of words, and in Botanicks, fince his 
(kill in Phyfick alone would be enough to eftablifli a lafting 
reputation for him ; for, T*> 238, he hath, b\ r his great fagacity 
and (kill in that art, not only difcovercd Ipecacuanha to be 
'' harnilefs and helpful," but — 

Gent. O dear Sir, you need infill no longer on that topick : 
he mud be a man of a wonderful fagacity and (lull, to difcover 
that a " helpful" medicine was " harmlcfs." 

Virt. I profefs, it argues much clearnefs of judgement, and 
infight into the fabrick and conrtitution of a human bod)-. But, 
for a farther confirmation of his profound judgement, I mail r.dd a 
caution he hath feafonably given to the world, relating to the 
lift of Cynocrambe, or rats-bane (fee N* 203) ; for, " Matthews 
f* and his wife and three children having been lately very ill and 
" like to die by eating too much of it," our learned Arraotator 
gives the following advice : " Whether the quality or quantity 
n of this herb were the caufe of its effetts, I know not ; but I 
" think that every body will do well to be cautious and wary in 
" the ufe of it in fuch quantities, after fuch a warning." 

Gent. Truly, I think, the Author has done extraordinary 
well to caution the world; for, if it hati fuch dreadful e{Fe#s 
upon Matthews and his wife, it would have been a great reflec- 
tion upon the prudence of (uch people as, through indrfcretion, 
ffrould have fufilred by it, " after fo fair a warning/' for wan: cf 
this caution. 

Virt. The Do&or could have no other end in it, befides the 
good of mankind and his own leputation. Which confiderations 
have induced him to publifli much more for the benefit of man- 
kind ; for, after he hath informed us, $t* z$$ f that "there are 
" many people who are of opinion, that the (wallowing of (tones 
" or pebbles is very beneficial to the health, becaufe they fee birds 
*f languiili unlc/s they fwatlow gravel or i'mali ftor.es ;" he adds, 
" I was confulted ; but was always againft this practice in men,. 
" for I knew one that ciied by the ufe of them." Now what a 
vail infight into the effects of non-naturals upon human bodies 
mud a man have, to be thus aware cf them : " I was always 

g Improbable and improper as it rmift appear, this fagacious remark of 
ify. Ray is actually to be found in the '' Ti-uiifailioii-s," 

" againft 



i 4 THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

" againfl the ufe of them," fays he, " becaufe I knew one who 
*' fuffered by them." 

Gent. Every body mud own, he is a great man in his way. 

Virt. In his way ! He is a great man in every thing; he is 
univerfally qualified : a great Botanift, a great Phyfician, a great 
Philofopher, a great Man, and a great Naturalift. 

Gent. Pray, what hath he done in that way ? 

ViRT. Done, Sir ! He hath exceeded the age in every thing j 
he hath been fo curious that nothing almoft has palled him. 

G^;:t. What are the moft confide rable paHages in Natural 
Hillcr/, which he hath taken notice of ? 

Virt. The firft piece I mall mention is, an account of a China 
cabinet. This, Sir, is a rarity that few people have thought worth 
their while to write Differtations about, or indeed worth their 
notice ; but, I can allure you, our Virtuofo, who is indeed the 
wonder of his age, values it at a high rate, and hath taken care to 
adorn feveral of the Tranfactions with an account of its con- 
tents, and hath engraven them curioufly upon copper-plates ; fee 
" Trarifa&ions," N° 246. 

< ; :.-:t. O dear! a great deal of curiofity muft needs lye in 
tinpfe things : and the curiofity of the Doctor, as well as his 
humility in Hooping to take notice of fuch trifles, is very com- 
mendable. 

Virt. Sir, he hath not fo much as neglected an ear-picker or 
a rufly razor ; for he values any thing that come from The Indies 
or China at a high rate ; for, were it but a pebble or a cockle- 
fhell fiorn thence, he would foon write a comment upon it, and 
perpetuate its memory upon a copper-plate. 

Gent. Pray do you remember whofe picture that is, that is 
engraven among the razors and tooth-pickers ? what, is it the 
Author's ? 

Virt. Fie ! No. It is " a Chinefe figure, wherein is repre- 
" fented one of that nation, ufing one of thefe inftruments (that, 
"is an ear- picker), and expreffing great fatisfa6Hon therein." 
See " Tranfaaions," N° 246. 

Gent. A great deal of fatisfaclion, indeed for a man to (land 
ig his ears ! But pray of what ufe are the China ear-pickers, 
in the way of knowledge ? 

Virt. Why, the learned Author hath made this ufeful com- 
ment upon it : " Whatever pleafure the Chinefe may take, in thus 
a '< picking 



DIALOGUE I. 15 

"picking their ears; I am certain, moft people in thefe part?, 
'} who have had their hearing impaired, have had fuch inibfor- 
** tunes firft come to them by picking their ears too much." 

Gent. Why then were they brought into thefe parts, if they 
be of fuch mifchievous confequence ? 

Virt. The chief defign was, to entertain the Philofophical 
Secretary; for he took as much fatisfaction in looking upon the 
ear-picker, as the Chinefe could do in picking his ears. And 
truly, I think, that learned Naturalift is obliged in gratitude to 
make fome fuitable return of our Engliih rarities to the Chinefe. 
And I hope in time to fee, in the " Philofophical Tranfattions," 
not only the pictures and defcriptions of all the old razors and 
ill-fhapen knives in China; but it is to be hoped that the rarities 
of our own country will be taken into confideration, and likcwile 
their pi&ures curiouily engraven upon copper. 

Gent. Yes, by all means; efpecially fince they may be pur- 
chafed at fo cheap a rate j for any colder about the town will -be 
willing to communicate an odd-figured knife to a curious perfon, 
if it may any way contribute to the advancement of natural 
knowledge. 

Virt. Contribute to the advancement of natural knowledge ! 
There is no doubt of it, or any thing of lefs moment; for there 
is not an odd-coloured or an ill-fhapen pebble in the kingdom 
but the Secretary will manage it fo as to make it contribute to 
the general heap of Tranfattions. He makes it his peculiar bufi- 
nefs ; and of late he is become one of the moft compleat, I had 
almoft faid a mod accompli fhed, Naturalift. 

Gent. Truly any body in his fenfes would think fo ; for he 
is a man of prodigious qualifications, and wondrous natural parts. 
But pray what other rarities hath he received from China ? 

Virt. N° 247, this learned perfon gives an account of a kind 
of " down, of a dark ycllowiih fnuff colour, ihining like fuk, 
** fome of it a quarter of an inch long;" and that which makes 
it more remarkable is, not only its being like fnuff and like filk, 
but it alfo ref-'mbles the " Lanugo of fcandent and tree ferns, 
" r.r.d iome of our capillaries" at the fame time. 

Gent. I am afraid, it refcmbles fo many different thines at the 
fame time, that it car. fcarcc be like itfelf. But what ufe do they 
make of it 5 

Virt. 



ii> THE TRANS ACTIO M E E R. 

ViRT. " It is pretended, that feme of the fmall down may, 
" by being fwallowed, eaiily flip into the wind-pipe, without 
" choaking the perfon." 

Gent. That is an odd quality indeed. But what other rarities 
are defcribed in this China cabinet ? 

Virt. Page 46;, " Eight feveral inftruments made for paring 
" the nails, at which in China the people are very curious and 
*■' dextrous ;" as alfo " an instrument much like a horfe curry - 
" comb," with which " they currv the natives, as we do horfes.'' 
But, befides thefe, our learned Author tell us, it contained " a 
" fea-horfe tooth, a pair of brafs twezers, a purfe made of ftraw, 
" one wide-toothed comb, one (trait-toothed comb, an inftrument 
" to clean the combs, a fheet of brown parer from China, a black 
" Scarabxus, a icarlet butterfly, an alh-coloured Capricorn, a 
u locuit and a Phalaena all to pieces, a painter's brufh, &c." 

Gent. Thefe things muft needs be of great ufe, efpecially the 
brafs twezers and the combs. ! 

Virt. Of extraordinary ufe .' and " it were to be wifhed," favs 
our curious Annotator, " that other travellers into foreign parfs 
" would make fuch enquhies into fuch inftruments and materials 
** that are ans r manner of way for the benefit or innocent delight 
" of mankind," as tooth-pickers, razors, ear-pickers, &c. 

Gen't. I profefs, we are much obliged to the Doftor. He 
is a great promoter of philofophical and innocent mirth; for there 
it fcarce ar,/ thing that is comical and diverting, but he takes 
care to place it in the " Philofophical Tranfaciions." 

Virt. But thefe are nor all the rarities we are obliged to the 
Di-vlor for, from beyond leas ; for, fays he, N° 232, " A fellow 
"of die College of Phyfidans and Royal Society did me the 
•• favour, fome time fince, to fhew me a confulerable number of 
" fertile bones and lhells of feveral forts, he had lately come to 
** his hands from Maryland. One of thefe fofTils I had the favoiu 
•' to carry home with me, to compare with the tongue ot a Mh 
" I had obferved in Jamaica; and, comparing them, we found a 
•• perfect agreement of the tongue that was dug up in Maryland, 
" and that taken from the Paftinaca marina, frequent in the leas 
" of Jamaica. A par: of one of the joints of this tongue was dug 
♦•' up in England. - ' 

cJent. Pray what docs this contribute to the advancement of 
11 13 knowledge ? 



DIALOGUE*. 17 

Virt. You miftake the defign : it was never intended to ad- 
vance Natural knowledge ; for who is the wiler for knowing that 
the bones of a dead fifh have been dug up, or where ? No, the 
true ufe of the ftory is to amufe the ignorant ; for, if they talk 
of things that are out of the way, we prefently make an harangue 
about " tbe Mandibulum of a Pajiinaca Marina found fofiile in 
" Maryland;" and then they " are filenced at an inftant." 
[ Gent. By this, I perceive, your Secretary is a politician. 
Virt. Yes, and a Virtuofo too, of a new fort ; for he hath 
honoured feveral perfons of his own kidney with the titles of 
Virtuofo's ; and it is to be hoped, they will contribute their mites 
in a little time : but, alas ! moft of thefe of his creation are meer 
Beuxes ; they are afraid of difcompofing their intellectuals by 
ftudying. 

GenT. Nothing is to be expected from them as yet. Befides, 
the Secretary wants not materials for the " Tranfaftions." 

Virt. No, no; he hath materials enough, from his country 
Correfpondents ; and, if he mould not he can fubftitute hiftorical 
relations picked up by his own indufhy. As for example, 
N» 240, he gives us account of one Edmund Melleon, born at 
Port Leicefter. " He was feven foot fix inches high; the length 
" of his fpan fourteen inches ; of his cubit two foot two inches j 
* of his arm three foot two inches and a half; from the fhoulder 
"to the crown of his head eleven and three fourths; his name 
" Edmund Melleon." How long his depending parts were, I did 
not inquire ; nor whether he was pot-bellied. 

Gent. What was his father's name, and of what fiature ? 
Virt. What is that to Edmund Melleon, what his fatlver's 
name was ? 

Gent. Altogether as necefiary as to know that Melleon's 
name was Edmund. But 1 do not urge it further. Pray proceed 
to fet forth the excellence of the Doctor. 

Virt. That fets forth itfelf : but, if you pleafe, I fhall proceed 
to give you an account of another remarkable pafiage taken 
notice of in the " Philosophical Tranfactions," N° 242 ; for which 
wc are obliged to him : " In Pall-Mali, at London, lived one 
" Jofeph Clark, who was called the Pofturc-maiter, that had fuck 
" an abfolute command of his mufcles and joints, that he can 
** (i. e. could) dif-joint almoft all his whole body. He was a well- 
** grown fellow; yet he would appear in all the deformities that 
Vol.- II. C "can 



rS THE TRANSACTION'EER. 

*i can l>e lmagine«l, a- hunch-backed,' pot-bellied, fharp-brcaftedl 
"He dlf-joinfed ln> ;nm., (hold , , and thighs, tliat he 

" will (inllcul of vfoukf) appear as great an object, of pity as any 
,: rrJai) ; and he lias often impofed on the fame company vyhere 
" hJ hath been jult before, to give him money as a cripple h . 
u He turns his face into all fhapes ; fo that by himfclf he a£ts 
the uncouth faces" — of a Traniactionecr paufing over a 
China ear-picker. 

&£NT. How came this man to act the part of a conjurer fo 
naturally? what is the Secretary's opinion of it - 

Virt. He is of opinion, that it depended upon " bringing his 
u body to it, by ufing bimlelf to it." 

C «st. Ah! doubtlcf , if he had never been ufed to it, he 
could never have done it. 

Virt. It is an old faying, that " Cuftom. makes perfect." 

Gent. Yes, Sir; and therefore your learned Author is fo per- 
fect in the points you have mentioned. But, 1 fuppofe, you have 
more of his ciifcoveries to produce yet : they are fo diverting, I 
would fcarce wilh them at an end. 

Virt. Never fear that: they are not at an end; but I am- 
almoft weary of repeating them. However, I ihall give you an 
account of two or three things more, wouh your obfervation. 
Have vou any fkill in navigation ? 

GENT. Very little. 

Virt. But do you think you could guide a fhip from Jamaica 
to Scotland or Ireland ? 

Gent. I believe not. 

Virt. Alas ! You underftand vcrv little then indeed ; for our 
Secretary gives us an account of four filly beans, that could (leer 
that courfe, though th-.v never underftood the leaft na\ igation. 

Gent. What beans are thofe, pray? 

Virt. They are frequently run afliorc on the Orkney Iflands,. 
N° 222. " They are thrown up pretty frequently in great num- 
" bers, and are no otheruile regarded than as they ferve to make 

h He frequently made himfe'.f merry with the t.:vlors ; whom he em- 
ployed to take meafure of him in one pofture, which he changed for 
another when his cloaths were brought home. When they were altered, 
he was in a third fhape j and, by this wandering tumour, he puzzled 
ell the workmen about town, who found it impoflible to accommodate fo 
changeable a cuftorncr, See Guardian, N° ico. 

« fjvuff- 



D I A L O G U E I. j 9 

" fnufF-boxcs." Yet they fhew them much more favour than we 
do our beans ; for they are devoured by horfes and hogs. 

Gent. Thefe arc (trange beans indeed. 

Virt. Yes, Sir, fays he, " I have had a great defire to fee what 
" thefe beans; were/' they talked fo much of them, thinking they 
might be fomething more than beans. 

Gent. And did he get a fight of them at the laft ? 

Virt. Yes, and difcovered, that " Three of them grew in 
" Jamaica. The firft is called Cocoons, by me PkaJ'eolus max- 
" imus perennis, folio decompqfUo, lobo maximo contorto. It 
" is well figured by the name Perim Kakwvalli in the Hortus 
" Malabricus," and ill figured in another place ;" and ill defcribed 
in this place. — " The fecond fort of bean is called the Horfe-eye 
" bean, for its refemblance to the eye of that beaft, by reafon of 
M a Hilus almoft furrounding it. — The third kind of bean is 
" called the aih-coloured Nickar, as being very like a Nickar.— 
" The fourth kind of bean is well defcribed and ill figured by 
" Clufius." — But now I come to the navigation ; for " How 
" thefe feveral beans fhould come to the Scotch Ifles, and one 
" of them to Ireland, ieems very hard to determine." Yet our 
Author fays too, " It is eafy to conceive." 

Gent. How can that be ? " Hard to determine," and eafy to 
be determined too ! 

Virt. If you will have patience, you will fee it is hard to 
determine ; for they might be tolled with ftorms, and driven out 
of the moft obvious road j but "it is eafy to conceive that, 
" growing in Jamaica in the woods, they may either fall from. 
" the trees into the rivers, or be any other way conveyed by 
•* them into the feas. It is likewife very eafy to conceive that, 
" being got CO the fea, and floating in it," and the neighbourhood 
denying them the liberty of landing in their own country, they 
may take a refolution of tranfplanting th'emfelves into another 
country; M and, meeting with a Hop on the main continent of 
" America, is forced (mark the Grammar, they is forced) through 
" the Gulph of Florida, or Canal of Bahama, going there con- 
" ftantly.Eait, and into the North America Sea. But how they 
" fhould come the reft of their vovage, I cannot tell" (for they 
could give no account of themfclves) — " except die beans, being 
" brought North by the current of the Gulph of Florida, are put 
■' in the Wefterly wind's Way, and may be fuppofed by his means 
C z "at 



20 THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

*' at laft to arrive in Scotland ;" little thinking that, after fo long 
anil tlifiicuk a vovagc, inftead of propagating their fpecies, " they 
" mould he turned into fnuff-boxes, and no otherwife regarded." 
Gent. This it is to come into a ftrange countrv, without being 
able to give an account of one's felt ! 

Virt. Phoo ! There was no need of giving an account of thtm- 
felves ; there was one in England, who had given them a vifit in 
lamaica, was able to do that fure. 

Gent. Yes, indeed; he is a moft accomplifhed gentleman. 

Virt. Gentleman ! He is a Doctor of Phyfick, and under- 
ftands the ftrudture of a man's bodv fo well, that not the leafl 
accident can happen in anv part of it, but he prefently gives you 
the rationale of it. To confirm what I have faid in this reipcc"r, 
I need alledge no more than what he has offered concerning fut- 
focation ; for, when the point was debated at Hertford Aifize? 
about Mrs. Stout's being drowned, he very learnedly delivered 
his opinion of drowning in the following words, and fays, " Water 
»• fwallowed by the gullet will not drown *." 

GENT. And does he prove it too ? 

Virt. Prove it? There is no need of proving it ; it is felt- 
evident. Neverthelefs, to convince thole who do not ufe to fual- 
low by the gullet, he adds, " Drunkards who fwallow freely a 
'« great deal of liquor, and thofe who are forced by the civil-law 
« to drink a great quantity of water have no fuffocation or drown- 
" ing upon them." 

Gent. Truly thofe arc two inftances fufRcient to convince any 
reafonable man, that he may be drunk, or drink water, without being 
drowned. But what is this learned man's definition of drowning ? 

Virt. He fays, " He takes drowning, in a great meafure, to 
" be thus, viz. That though it is very likely, when one ftruggles, 
•' he may (to fave himfelf from being choaked) 1 wallow fome 
«« quantity of water : yet that is not the caufe of his death ; but 
** that which goes into the wind-pipe and lungs." 

Gent. If " fwallowing water" is not " the caufe of his death ;" 
how does that which goes into the wind-pipe caute it > Does 

> See Mr. Covvper's Trial, printed, with other pamphlets on that fub- 
jef\, in the " State Trials." This Gentleman was at that time at the 
bar, and fome years afterward was advanced to be one of the judges of 
the Common Pleas j in which nation he died, December 10,17*8, He 
w*s brother to Lord Chancellor Co.vper, 

not 



DIALOGUE!. n 

not the perfon (wallow that ? or does he fwaHow it " to fave him- 
M felf from being choaked >" 

Virt. Swallow it to prevent choaking ? By no means ; he dons 
not fwallow it at all. " It goes into the wind-pipe." And 
though water fwallowed will not choak, ''et when it goes into 
the lungs it will ; which this learned Phylician thus demonftratcs, ; 
H In prefcriptions, when people are very weak, or forced to take 
" medicines, I have observed fomc lpoonfu's in that condition 
" (if it went the wrong way) to have choaked or fuffocated the 
" perfon ;" whence it appears, that choaking is not caufed By 
fwallowing water, but by its entrance " the wrong way." 1.. 
which cale, it may be faid '■ to go into the lungs." 

Gent. But what is this to the queftion firft debated ? 

Virt. Why, the queftion being pur, whether the woman was 
Arangled, and fo fuffocated ; or whether fhe was drowned? Our 
learned evidence only offers to mew, that, if (he was luffocateti 
or cheated by water, it mufi get into her lungs ; whereas, in thole 
that are choaked, or Jirangled, nothing at all gets into them : fo 
that the fum of our Doctor's evidence proves that, if flie \va- 
Strangled or choaked before fhe was thrown into the water, Ihe 
could not be choaked again in the water, except u water went the 
** wrong way, as in prefcriptions, &c." And thus much might 
be f-jfhcicnt to mew our Doctor's great (kill in the mechanifm of 
a body ; one of the main points neceifarv in an accomplifhe^ 
Phylician. But, as a further inllance of his great knowledge, I. 
fhall add another paffagc of his evidence, which is, " That with- 
" out force, after death, litrle water will get into the ftomach j 
" occaufe, for thatnt mould, fwallowing is neceflary, which after 
" death cannot be done." In which paffage, the phrafes not only 
come very naturally from the Doctor (as '* for that it mould," 
&x.); but he very judicioufly tells us, that men cannot {wallow 
after death; and therefore thofe who would put water into a dead 
man praft-ufe force to get it in. Which, I think, is a demon- 
ftraiion of the Doctor's gnat flu 11 in Anatomv. 

Gent. Yes, indeed; and, if all you have faid of him be true, 
he is not only a great Phyfician, but a Botanift, and a Naturalift, 
and every tiling. Pray where does he live, and what are hie 
hours - I have fomething to communicate to him, whi< h perh p* 
may be acceptable. 

C 1 Virt 



12 THE T R A N S A C T I O N E R. 

Virt. His hour in an afternoon is betwixt fix and {even ; any 
body will tell you where to find him. Pray, if you light of him, 
give my fervice to him. 

Gent. I will certainly do that. 

ViRT. He is a very modeft civil gentleman. You muft be 
fure to compliment him, and he will take it very kindly : for the 
envious world fo feldom dues it, lie will be both furpiized and 
mightily pleafed at it. 

Gent. I ihall take care to compliment as well as I can; and 
I do not know well how I can fail : for I can think of none of 
his performances, but I muft either hold my tongue, or com- 
pliment. 

Virt. I am glad you have fo good an opinion of him. 

Gent. Sir, I have no other opinion of him but what lie de- 
ferves ; and how good it is, I ihall leave to his friends to judge. 
Sir, your fervant. 

mmsm 

DIALOGUE II. 

BETWEEN 

K GENTLEMAN and a TRANS ACTIONEER. 



S 



you lo opportunely. I have been juft now talking 
with a friend of yours concerning fome pafiages in the " Philofo- 
u . phical TraniacYions." And the great character he hath given 
you, and the learned pal'fages of your own Writings which he 
hath collected together to juilifv that character, have made me 
uneafy till I had the happinefs to pay my humble reipec~ls to you. 

Trans. Indeed I am very much obliged both to him and you, 

Gent. Sir, the chief end of my vifit now, next to paying my 
refpefts to you, is to communicate fome philosophical matters; 
which, if you think fit to publifh them in your " Fhilofophical 
" Tranfafitions," are at your fervice. 

Trans. Pray what may they be ? 

Cent. Sir, at prefer.:. I mail only offer you a definition of a 
Shell and a Cruft. 

Tb.aus : I defiie a fight of ifc 

Gent.. 



D I A L O G U E IT. 23 

'Gent. Here it is, Sir. 

Trans. " A Shell properly is fucli a bard fubirancc as co 
•"an entire animal, as an Qyltcr-ilull. A Oriift i fuoh a haw) 
".fubftance as covers only one particular joint oi tii included 
■"animal." N° 119. Sir, I am your* ferrant. Ii fotl Li 
any tiling of this nature, you will oblige me very much in com- 
•municating it, and do the world a great deal of fervice. 

Gent. I fhall be glad If any thing I can offer may olflig 
rthe world has (uch an opinion of. 

Trans. Truly 1 am obliged to the worhl, for their opinion 
oj me. And if any thing I can do to promote natural know- 
ledge may be of fervice to them, I fhall not 'pair mv labour. 

Gent. O, Sir, you have taken a great deal of pains already; 
for the compiling fo many Thilofophical Volumes in Qnarto 
muft take up a great deal of time ; nor could they be made fa 
e and correct, without as great application. 

Trans. It is indeed a -laborious work ; for, hefides ootwpil- 
i-ng of in mr.nv Volumes, the great correfpondenee which 1 am 
obliged to keep is no fmall ttoublc. 

Gent. It cannot chafe but be tronbletbme: but your h 
■ choice and the philolophical returns they make you recom 
the trouble. 

Trans. If it were not for that, it would be a mere piece oi 
flavery; but, as you lav, the difcoveries and improvements which 
arc communicated by my Correspondents make me value the trou 
i Hi muchlefs; for, I think, for weight, ufefaincfe, and 
circumftanccs, the papers I have publhiicu in &e " 1 1 .;:;.. Mions" 
are not incontidcrable. 

Gent. Inconsiderable! You 'have quite out-done Mr. 01 
burg: for the world never thought he pul.liflied enough; but 
you hcappjiilofophical relations together at fuch a proctigicru 
that you publifh " Tranfactions" as fad again as they d . 
The world is quite over-powered with them. 

Trans. Why, truly, I have ufed mv utmoft diligence and :arc, 
that not the leaft thing in nature ihouhl efcape my nc 
I am infinitely obliged to my Correfponden'rs for th'cii 

Gent. Trulv they are to be commended. Uur, methinks, it 
would be of great ufe to the world, if tlis mofl cohfiderable paf- 
fages in thofe papers were collected together, and publtffced fbi th 
U& of the Learr.al, 

C 4 Tran?. 



24 THE TRANSACTION EER. 

Trans. I have done that already; and, if you pleafe, I will 
give you an account of thole which I have a more peculiar rclilu 
for, and value at the higheft rate. 

Gent. Sir, it will be a very great favour; and I lhall be very 
much obliged to you. 

Trans. I can never be to feek where to begin then, as long 
as there is fuch a pcrfonage as Mr. James Pettiver k in the philo- 
fuphical world. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society indeed ! 
I made him fo. It is my way of rewarding my friends and bene- 
factors. We now begin to call it " Our Royal Society," Muf. Pet. 
c, 5. One would never think it that looks upon him — but he is 
certainly the darling of the Temple coffee-houfe club. 
Gent. Pray what is that ? 

Trans. Oh, la! why, do not you know? Where can you 
have lived ? Why you mud be an utter ltranger to philofophy 
and all pretty things ! Never heard of the Temple Club ? Oh, 
for fhame ; let us fee you there a Friday night. I am Prefulent 
there ; and I will allure you there are many odd things. And 
Mr. Pettiver is — Gad ! he is every thing. He is the very mufti, 
the oracle of our club. For my part, I never law any thing like 
him exactly. 

Gent. No, I believe not. 

Trans. Oh, then, I perceive jou know Mr. James— — 
Gent. No indeed, not I. 

Trans. No, I wonder at that: you ought to be acquainted 
M'ii him. I will be the inltrument of bringing it about. Sir, 
he and I are all one. You mult know we club notions, laying 
them up in a kind of ioint-ftoek, and have all things in com- 
mon. Sometimes he draws, and fomctimes I, as we have occafion. 
Bat he pa vs in molt plenteoufly. By my good-will, I would 
never be without turn. I call him the Philosophic Sancho, and 
be me Don. 1 own, 1 have learnt more of him than ever I did ac 
Orange or any where eiie. 
Gent. Orange, bii ; 

TRdNs. Yes, I knew it was cpjicker and cheaper than at Leyden 

• Padua; fu I was dabbed Doctor there en pajfant, whip an4 

away. But for Mr. Pettiser, he is an Author, and has treated 

on the fame topicks th.it I have. Have )ou read the " Muleum 

•■ P triverianum," or his treatifes in my " Traniucuons . : " 

* Ol gr;at eminence in his proleflion, as an Apothecary. 

Gent. 



D I A L O G U E H. 2 S 

Gent. No, really ; but, I obferve, all people fmile when they 
mention him : I believe he is mighty diverting. 

Trans. The mod of any thing in nature. But how mould a 
man of his parts be otherwife ? Oh," the fpecimens of modern mag- 
" nihcence and improvement," he has given the learned world f 
Tranf. N» 236. " His firft century confifts of feveral animals 
"and plants wholly new." Tranf. N° 224. And pray mark. 
how confiderable they are ; and how much mankind are indebted 
to his labour and ftudy. The Animals are Snails and Beetles, 
Caterpillars, Spiders, and others of the like fort ; the Plants, 
Rufhes, Thiftle<;, MofTes, with abundance more of equal worth. 
But, above all, Butterflies are his main delight. He gives them 
ftrange cramp names, and values himfelf for being the firft 
catcher. " Papilos Leucomclanos," fays he, " is not yet clearly 
" defcribed by any Author," Tranf. N° 224 ; and perhaps had 
never been defcribed (woe the day !) had it not been for this 
Author. He looks as big upon his Eotanic ac.quifuiors. Says 
he, " Be it known, that 1 have this year (beildes feveral before) 
M received near Twenty Volumes in Folio, with fair and per- 
" feft Specimens of Trees." Muf. Pet. But he is mod: luckv in 
the afligning the reafons of the names of his rarities. He 
has " Shells, called BLACKMOORS teeth, J fuppofe," fays he, 
" from their whiteness." Tranf. N° 214. Now we are on this 
fubjecl, I ought to acquaint you, he values nothing that has not 
as many titles and names as the King of Perfia. He will find 
in one Author or other twenty names for the fame tiling ; 
and thinks it impoflible " to enumerate the many advantages 
" that will occur from thus fynonvmizing of Authors ;" and 
elfewhere he fpeaks very big of the Englifh, that is, himftlf 
and me, " as to their critical methods in their difcoveries of 
f* non-deicript fpecies, and their judicious references to the fvno- 
" nymous names of various writers, whereby the terrible vices 
" of confufion and multiplicity have been much corrected. "' 
Tranf. N° 236. There is my ilyle too exactly; only a little 
more clear. He is as fuccefiful in his defcriptions as in his 
fvnonymizing. Take an iaftance in his tovtoife. He fays, " It 
" is guarded along the back with a round edge. (Do you mark ?) 
." His head about the bigncfs of a hoifc-bean ; tiic orbits of his 
ff eyes very large." 

Gekt- 



i6 THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

Gekt. How? The head no bigger than a " fmall bean," 
and yet " his eyes very large !" Why, fure, litis eyes are no: in 
Lis head. 

Trans. Pray let me go on. <l His fnout like a parrot's 
" bill, his upper pw inolu !ing the under. (Is not that pretty r) 

V Each foot has four fliarp claws like a moufe." 
Gent. Ciaws like a moule ' 

Trans. Ay, and "his tail taper, and about half an inch 
" long." Tranf. N° 246. Js not this admirable ? But he is not 
inferior as to Phyfick. He has " an African Materia Mcdiccc, 

V whofe innocent praclice confifls of no more art than compo- 
" fition." Tranf. N° 232. My own phrafe again! it is as 
tnuch as to fav, " harmld's and helpful'." But hear this Ahican 
Do£lor — He has Aclowa, good for crocoes or itch ; Bumbuntiy*, 
boiled and drunk, caufeth to vomit; Affunena, boiled and drunk, 
caufeth a flool ; Ambetunvay, caufeth an appetite to any fick 
perfon ; Attrumapkio, boiled and drunk, caufeth the great fort 
of pox to fkin and dry, and is good againit the phrenzy ; Mening 
is o-ood for the ftoppage of the head ; Apputtajy is good for the 
fcurw in the mouth. Of the two laft he and I have taken 
abundance, but without effect. Nor is Mr. Pettiver's phvfick 
beyond his breeding. Really he is a perfon of fingular addrels. 
>' It is," fays he to me, " my great ambition to approve myfelf 

«' ^our obliged humble fervant." See my M Transactions," N° 
43^. He ftyles mine " a moft excellent Catalogue of Jamaica 
.«« plant:;," ibid. Nav, he fays, I have ** been pleafed to fhew 
>< fuch an admirable fkill and talent this way, as will hardly be 
" matched, either in paft, prelent, or future ages." And this I 
have taken care to print in my " Tranfaclions," K° 236. 
•- Gent. 1'ruly, you are mighty happy in tire applaule of a per- 
fon of his Judgement; And, give you your due, ye vouch heartily 
for one another. Sure that is the reafon lb few others fpeak 
v/ell of you. 

Trans. Oh, no ; it is envy, mere envy. The invidious world 
cannot bear the luftre we caft. Mr. Pettiver concludes his 
u Mufeum" with a catalogue of " his kind friends." I will read 

TU:m. 

•Gent. Indeed I will fave you the labour. Let them ftand as 
shcy «•-• Nobody fure will diflurb or envy them the honour of 

1 See above, p. 13. 

being 



D I A L O G U E II. t? 

being in that Catalogue. And for collections of rarities, they 
mult needs lie in mighty renown and credit, fmce Mr. Pettiver 
'« has been pleafed to Ihew fuch an admirable (kill and talent 
" that way." But pray, Sir, proceed in the account of your 
'* Tranla&ions." 

Trans. The next thing I take notice of, as very confidcrable, 
and of extraordinary ufe to the curious, is, the great ikill in Bota- 
nicks obfervablc in my other Correspondents ; for, you mult: know, 
my peculiar genius is moft inclined to Botanicks. 

And, firft, as for the virtues of Medicines ; it hath not only 
been difcovered by Dr. Mullen, that " Irifli Mackenboy root may 
" be carried in the pocket three days without purging;" but what 
hath been obferved of the ftrange effects of Papaver corniculatunn 
is very remarkable; for N° 242, we have the following account. 
" In my Itinerary from London to Margaret Iiland (mark the 
" elegance of the word Itinerary), and thence molt by the fea- 
" fhore to the Lands-end, to obferve what plants each part pro- 
" duced. Between Penzance and Macketjew, lived one Charles 
*' Worth, an Apothecary, who, caufmg a pie to be made of the 
" faid poppy, and eating of the faid poppv-pie whilft hot, was 
" prefently taken with fuch a kind of a delirium, as made him 
" fancy that moft that he law was gold, and, calling for achamber- 
" pot, being a white earthen one, after having purged by ftool into 
" it, he broke it into pieces ; and bad the by-ftanders to fave 
" them, for they were all gold." 

Gent. Methinks your Correfpondent is very circumstantial, 
in relating the circumftances and fymptoms of the delirium. 

Trans. O dear Sir ! there was an abfolute necefhty to be exact: 
in particulars ; for, had he only told us, that the herb purged, and 
cauled a delirium, how mult we have known that he made ufe 
of an earthen chamber-pot, that he purged into it, and then 
broke it ? 

Gent. Truly, as you fay, we Ihould have been altogether at a* 
lofe there : and, to fpeak truth, the molt diverting circumftances 
would have been wanting. 

Trans. Yes, the pieafant circumftances fet off the ftory j 
for people purge into chamber-pots, and are delirious, that never 
took Papaver corniculatum. 

Gent. But, pray, what does this contribute to the advance- 
,-rrient of natural knowledge ? 

TSANi. 



*8 THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

Trans. If it enekeafes knowledge, it certainly advances it. 
And pray, docs not a man know more, that knows the chamber- 
pot was broken, than he that hears of a delirium and purging > 
But thefe were not all the eifec~ts of Papaver corniculatum j for, 
«' the man and maid fervants, having alio eaten of the fame pic, 
" (tripped themfelves quite naked, fo danced one againil another 
** a long time." 

Gent. Truly they had more fatisfa&ion in their delirium, 
than the mailer could have in breaking a dirty chamber-pot, one 
would think. But did not the mafter and the maid M dance one 
♦' againft another ?" 

Trans. If they had, it would have been Papaver cornicu- 
latum indeed ; but I cannot tell that : only " the miftrefs, who 
** was gone to market, coming home, and faying, ** How now ? 
'* what is here to do r" Tlie maid turned her breech againft her, 
** and, purging ftoutlv, faid, " There, miftrefs, is gold for you !" 

Gent. This Papaver corniculatum is a very itrange kind of 
an herb. 

(Trans. There is fcarce another in nature,exccpt Cynocrambe k , 
that can caufe fuch fymptoms. 

GfcNT. Say you fo, Sir? 

Trans. Yes; for, in N« 203, "Will Matthews, his wife 
** and three children, have been lately ill, and like to die. The 
" manner of their ficknefs was very odd j and thcicfore I mail 
«' give you a particular account of it." 

Gent. Pray do, Sir, 

Trans. " About three weeks ago, the woman went into the 
•* fields to gather fome herbs, and (having firft boiled them) 
" fried them with bacon for her own and her family's fupper." 

Gent. A very fine piece of cookery indeed, and very requifitc 
the world fliould be acquainted with it — efpecially the Philofo- 
phical part; they are much obliged to your Correfpondent. 

Trans. If I had not thought it ufeful to Philofophers, I had 
r.ot taken notice of it. But pray let me go on with my ftory. 

Gent. I beg your pardon, for interrupting you. 

Trans. " After they had been about two hours in bed, one 
" of the children fell very fick ; and fo did the other two pre- 
" {entity after: which obliged the man and his. wife to rife, and 

K Ste above, p, 13. 

" take 



D I A L O G U E II. 19 

" lake the children to the fire, where they fpewcd and fh — t, and 
" within half an hour fell faft afleep." 

Gent. Trulv, I think this Cynocrambe is as bad as Papaver 
corniculatum ; for thofe that took that, had fome fort of pleafure 
in its operation. 

Trans. Indeed, upon fecond thoughts, I think it is worfe ; 
for " they took the children to bed as they were afleep, and they 
" themfelves went to bed too, and fell fader afleep too than ever 
** they had done before. The man waked next morning about 
u three hours after his ufual time, went to his labour at Mr. 
*' Newport's ; but, he fays, he thought his chin had been all the 
" day in a fire ; and was forced to keep his hat full of water by 
" him all the day long, and frequently dipped his chin in it as he 
" was at work." 

Gent. Pray, Sir, expatiate no more upon this account; for I 
think it no great matter, whether his hat was full of water or not. 

Trans. What? would you have me give an account of a 
Philosophical Traniaftion, and not be exaft in relating matter 
of faft ? 

Gent. O, good Sir, pardon me; be as circumftantial as vou 
pleafe. It is a very Philofophical Tranfaftion indeed. A woman 
boiled herbs and bacon for fupper ; the children purged ; the 
good man flept longer than ordinary ; went to work at Mr. 
Newport's ; filled his hat full of water, and was fo difcerning as 
to think his chin was all the day in the fire, though he dipped 
it often in water. A very Philofophical relation, I mud needs 
fay ; and very fine circumftances to be particular in ! 

Trans. Truly, Sir, we ought to he particular in the circum- 
ftances of things fo remarkable : for this herb " is defcribed and 
" figured in feveral Authors ;" and therefore we ought to take 
notice of ° its effects." 

Gent. But pray, what inferences, or what confequcntial ufe, 
do you make of this obfervation ? 

Trans. Why, from the effefts of this plant, I draw this in- 
ference, " That, whether the quantity or quality of this herb 
" were the caufe of its effects, I know not ; but think that every 
" body will do well to be cautious and wary in the ufe of it, 
f* in fuch quantities, after fuch a warning." For, if the man and 
lus wife had purged as well as the children, they would have 
keen in a moft dreadful oafty pickle. 

Gent, 



jo THE T R ANS ACT IONEE R. 

Gent. Truly, the caution vou give and the rcafons allcdgcd 
for it are equally weighty. But, pray, are fhefe all the new dif- 
coveries made by your Correfjiontfcnts relating to the virtues of 
plants ? 

Trans. No, Sir. N° 231, we are informed, " that a certain 
" woman, eating by miftake fome roots of common hemlock 
" amongft parfnips, was immediately fcized with raving and 
** madnefs, talked obfccnclv, and could not forbear dancing ; oa 
" which exercife me was fo intent, that flic would have given 
" her cow for a bag-pipe." 

Gent. Poor woman ! it is a pity fire mould have wanted com- 
pany. Why did they not give fomebody a dofe of Papaver cor- 
niculatum, to dance againft her? 

Tratcs. I fuppofe, they were in too much concern, to fee her 
fo obfeene, and fo fooliflily merry. But, not to infill too long 
on one fubjeft, I mail proceed to give you a fuller account of 
the produfts of my Correfpondents ; and, as foon as I have given 
you a couple of inftanccs of the etymology of words, and their 
fkill in Logick, I (ball proceed to their Medicinal and Chirurgical 
obfervations. 

Gent. Pray, Sir, ufe what method you pleafe. It is no great 
matter how they are ranged. 

Trans. Then the firft thing I fhall offer is, an account of 
the etymology of Ambergrife Ben's name. The whole ftory 
runs thus, N s 232. " I fhall at the prefent let you know the 
" account I received from Ambergrife Ben ; for fo the man is 
" called, from the vaft quantity of that valuable commodity he 
" found two years ago near Ambergrife Point." Now who 
could ever have guelTed at the reafon of this man's name, had it 
not been accounted for in the " Philosophical TranfacYions ?" 

Gent. Indeed, I believe they would have been at a lofs. But 
pray proceed to the Logick. 

Trans. Yes, Sir, I was longing to let you hear that : for you 
muft know, N° 221, my Correfpondent hath been able, by clofe 
arguing, to tell that old Jenkins was older than old Parr. 
Gent. Pray how does he prove that ? 

Trans. Thus, " Henry Jenkins departed this life the tenth 
" day of December, 1670. — The battle of Flowdenfield was 
" fought upon the ninth day of September, in the year of our 
" Lord 1513.— Henry Jenkins was 12 years old when Flow- 

" denfield 



D I A L O G U E IT. ft 

** dennefd was fought : fo he lived 169 years '. Old Parr m lived 
** 152 vears, nine months. Ergo, Henry Jenkins out-lived old 
" Parr, by computation, fixteen years." 

Gent. Ha! ha! This "out-living by computation \" Ad- 
mirable indeed ! Well, Old. Jenkins is certainly proved older 
than Parr ! 

Trans. It is undeniable. 

Gent. Prav how came vour friend by a particular account of 
all the propofitions included in the foregoing argument ? 

Trans. Take it in his own words n : "Whenlcame f.rft to live 
" at Bolton in Yorkihire, I have forgot my landlord's name; but it 
** was told me, that there lived in that pariih a man near 150 
*' years old ; that he had fworn, as a witnefs in a caufe in York r 
"to 120 years; which the judges reproving him for, he faid, he 
" was butler at that time to the Lord Convers. But, trulv, it 
" was never in my thoughts, to inquire of my Lord Darc\> 
" whether this laft particular was true, or no." 

Gent. Truly that was a great overfighr. It would have 
given much fa tib faction to the learned world, had my Lord Darcy 
confirmed it. 

Trans. Indeed, I fhould have been better fatisf.ed nvfelf : 
for " I believed little of the ftory for a great many years ; till 
" one dav, being in my lifter's kitchen, Henry Jenkins came in, 
" to beg an alms. I had a mind to examine him. I told him,- 
" he was an old man." 

1 In the laft century of his life he was a fiflierman ; and when no 
lpnger able to follow that occupation, went begging about Eolton, ani- 
other places in Yorkshire. He v/as buried at Bolton, where, in 1743, 
a monument was erected to his memory. He was one of the oldeft of 
the poft-diluvians, of whom we have any credible account. 

m He was born in 1483, and d : ed in 1635. We are told by Dr. 
Fuller, that he was thus " charactered by an eye- witnefs : 
" From head to foot, his body had all over 
" A tjuickfet, thickfet nat'ral hairy cover." 
The fulleft account of him extant is in his " Life" by Taylor, in the 
" Harleian Mifcellany." See alfo ** Anatomia Thomre Parri, port annos 
"centum quinquaginta duos et meafes novem actos demortui, a G. 
" Harveio, aliis Regis Medicis adftantibus, habita," in the beautiful 
edition of Harvey's Works, 4to ; published by the College of Phyficians. 

r - Dr. Tancre.1 Robinfon, 

t Gent. 



3 i THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

GtNT. Pray did not he know that before ? 

Trans. What then ? He would be the apter to believe ir. 

Gent. You fay true indeed. 

Trans. And therefore, " I defned him to tell me how old 
" he was. He paufed a little ; and faid, that, to the heft of hi* 
"remembrance, he was 162 or 3 ; I alked him, what publick 
" thing he could remember ? He faid, Flowdenfield. I afked, 
u whether the King was there ? He faid, no. I afred him, how 
" old he might be then ? He faid, I believe, I might be between 
" ten and twelve ; for, faid he, I was fent to Northallerton, with 
" a horfe-load of arrows ; but they lent a bigger boy from thence 
44 to the army." 

Gent. You are very circumftantial indeed in your relations. 
But pray of what ufe are they to the advancement of knowledge > 

Trans. Advantage? Any thing about old Jenkins or old 
Parr is very acceptable to me ; and that is enough to make it ap- 
pear under the general title of " Philofophical Tranfaftions for 
u the Advancement of Natural Knowledge." But, thus much 
being faid of old Jenkins, I mail proceed to relate promilcuoullv 
what hath been of late difcovered relating to Medicine and 
Chirurgery. 

Gent. Certainly thofe muft be of great ufe. 

Trans. I fuppofe you have heard of what happened to Dr. 
Lifter. 

Gent. What, pray? 

Trans. Sir, he had the misfortune to be fcratched by the tooth 
of a Porpoife, i'ome time after the death of it ; fo that " tandem 
" tertius digitus male fe habuit," i. e. at laft his third finger was 
fick, N» 233. 

Gent. Truly I think the Doctor had been happy had he 
never been fick any where elfe but in his finger. But fince he 
commenced Author, I fear a metajlajis of the morbific matter into 
the feat of his understanding. 

Trans. I Should be concerned for him, mould it be fo. But 
I fhall proceed to relate what I juft now promifed you, viz. 
Some of the mod remarkable observations in Phyfick and Chirur- 
gery. And, firft, I ihall give vou an account of two medicated 
fprings, the one communicated to me by a Welfh Philofopher 
[Mr. Aubrey], and the other by a Frenchman [M. GeorrroyJ. 
The defcription of the fixft is as follows : " There is a rill, about 

" an 



D I A L O G U E II. 33 

u an ell broad, between two collines, covered with wood, about 
" twelve yards from this fpring; die rill, which falls from a 
* rock eight or nine foot high, makes a very grateful noife." 
N« a 33 . 

Gent. A very fine description of a medicated fpring; furely 
that " grateful noile" will invite feveral curious perfons to take 
a view of it. But is that the only medicinal quality ? 

Trans. All that our Philofopher takes notice of. But he 
tells us farther, " The fpring comes out of a pure white marie. 
" I thought there had been no white marie in Wales ; for die 
" earth is red." 

Gent. An admirable thought indeed ! And it is a wonder 
there is any chalk in England ; for the foil is not of that colour. 
This ingenious conclufion puts me in mind of thofe verfes in 
Virgil" : 

" Urbem, quam dicunt Romam, Melibcee, putavi 
" Stultus ego huic noftrae fimilem — 
" Sic canibus catulos iimiles, fie matribus hcedos 
" Noram : fie parvis componere magna folebam." 
And he mult needs be a man of wonderful fagacity, in my opinion, 
to conclude all things he knew not were like thofe he had before 
his eyes. 

Trans. But that is not all that may be faid for our Philo- 
fopher : for he hath further adorned his account of this fpring 
with a defcription of a tree that grows over it ; for, fays he, 
" about the fpring fpreads an old oak, with hoary mofs, on the 
" boughs whereof two crutches." 

Gent. A great ornament indeed ! And that " grateful noife," 
" the hoary mofs," and " the two crutches in the oak," mult 
needs contribute much to the advancement of natural knowledge, 
and to the underftanding of the nature of this medicated lpring. 

Trans. Truly, I mult needs own, the French Philofopher 
hath quite outdone him in that point ; for, in his account of 
the Mineral waters at Saint Amand, he tell us not what trees 
grow about it ; but that " molt fick people are willing to drink 
" fome, thinking to fwallow in great glalTes their health along 
" with that water :" and likewife, that " acid fpirits have not 
*' fermented at the firft with that water; but afterwards it hath 

• Bucolic. Eel. I. ver. to. 
Vol. II. D "made 



14 THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

" made fome little bubbles, which remained to the fides of the 
*' gla'lfes wherein were contained the liquors." N° 247. Now 
this ftory I admire mightily, efpecially for the elegance of the 
Ayle. 

Cent. Yes, it is extraordinary ; it is ahnoft as fine as your 
own. " Remained to the fides of the glafs" is admirably ex- 
preffed, and much better than " ftuck to them." Beficles, he- 
hath faid fomething of the nature of the waters. 

Trass. And he further tells us, " One may alfo warn in the 
€t mud of that fountain," as hogs do in our country. But to 
proceed to Chirurgical obfervations. N° 233, " Many in The 
*< Highlands, who pretend not to an)' fkill in furgery, do ven- 
** tare to cut the Uvula off when they are troubled with it; and 
«' prefcribe for a remedy thereafter a piece of bread and cheefe." 

Gent. That is very remarkable indeed ; for very few Englifh 
people are able to eat bread and cheefe when their throats are cut. 

Trans. No matter for that! If the thing be true, that is 
fufficient fatisfacYion. But pray, now we are talking of the Uvula, 
give me your opinion of the reaion of a Cough. 

Gent. You are a Phyfician ; and methinks it would be more 
proper for me to aik you that queftion. 

Trans. I think indeed I may as well tell you; for you may 
guefs a thoufand times before you hit on the right caufe. 

Gent. Pray what may it be ? 

Trans. In ihort, a Cough proceeds from " the Chamberlain's 
M landing." 

Gent. How can that be? 

Trans. That is a hard queftion to anfwer. But I am fure it 
is true ; for I received an account of it from one of my Cor* 
refpondents. 

Gent. And how docs he make it out ? 

Trans. Why, N° 233, he tell us, "that the inhabitants of. 
*' St. Kilda are every fummer infected with a cough, upon the 
** Chamberlain's landing." 

Gent. That is odd indeed. But how do thev cure it } 

Trans. u The ufual remedy is Gibeti drunk upon Brockan." 

Gent. So that the qualities of the remedies are as occult as 
the- caufe of the cough. 

Trans. No, no; the caufe of the cough is evidently the 
Chamberlain's landing. Thus much being faid relating to Phy- 

fick, 



DIALOGUE II. 35 

fick, I fhould immediately proceed to tell you " the fymproms 
•* of two brafs farthings." But I think it more inftructive to 
communicate to you fome cautions about marrying too foon, 
and fome things relating to Midwifery. And, firft, it hath been 
obferved, N« 233, ** that Anna George, who continued in the 
M flate of virginity till the one and fiftieth year of her age, mar- 
** ried, and brought forth a boy in the two and fiftieth vear of her 
" age. But, N° 229, " a Negro in Nevis" (who married before 
fhe was in the one and fiftieth year of her virginity) " had this 
" misfortune. Her navel did begin to fwell and impofthumate , 
" fo that moft people did believe fhe would die : and, after one 
" vear and half being with child, was at the laft delivered by 
u the navel ; for, after voiding of a great deal of ichor and mat- 
" ter, there did appear fome l>ones, which did prove to be a 
" child" (not the bones of a child, but the bones ivere a child) ; 
" after the extraction of the bones, the woman was eafy, and the 
'•' woman did recover." 

Gent. Very ftrange indeed ! 

Trans. N°233, " Another woman" (who was likewife mar- 
ried before the one and fiftieth year of her virginity) " was feven 
" years bringing forth a child, bone by bone, and all by the funda- 
* ment." 

Gent. A long birth truly ! and very ftrange ! 

Trans. But, Sir, I have another ftory as ftrange as that : for 
" Margaret Parry, lying-in with the laft of her three children, 
" fome bones of a. foetus came from her; after this, feveral other 
11 bones came away, and divers worked their way by degrees 
" through the flefh, above the os pubis." N° 243. 

Gent. Very ftrange too ! But I am afraid you are impofed 
upon by your Correfpondents ; for I am apt to believe wounds 
of the matrix are not fo flight as to lye open, fo long as thefe 
ftories require, without being mortal. 

Trans. I rely fo much upon the fincerity of my Correfpon- 
tlents, that I cannot tell how to difbelievc it. 

Gent. But do you believe " all the children were born per- 
" fe£t," notwithftanding " bones came away at feveral times, r" 
Truly I think it impofhble : and I wonder how you ihould be i'o 
apt to believe them. 

Trans. I beg your pardon, if I tell you it is no wonder; for 
I am not inclined to diftruft mankind. 

D 2 G£NT. 



jS THE TRANSACTIONEEK. 

Gent. To fpeak the truth, indeed, you hare a peculiar faculty 
of believing almoft any thing. But pray, what reafons can be 
given to juflify the finccrity of your Correfpondents ? 

Trans. Reafon ! Pihaw ! I do not trouble myfelfto inquire 
after the reafon of every thing that is told me ; if I fhould, I 
fhould have work enough, to find reafons for every thing that is 
communicated in the " Tranfaclions." 

Gent. Nay, I confefs, that would be too hard a tafk. But, I 
am afraid, I have interrupted you too long. 

Trans. Not at all, Sir. The next thing I fhall give you an 
account of is of a monftrous birth ; for, N 9 233, another gentlc- 
■woman, who loft her virginity before the fifty-firft year of her 
age, " bore an infant who had two heads ; one head was a bag, rc- 
" fembling the hood of a Benedictine Monk." But how far he 
was concerned in the getting of it, nobody knows but the parties 
concerned in ipfo faclo. It was obfervable, this child did not 
come out bone by bone, nor through the navel or the funda- 
ment; but the other way. — N° 126, gives an account of a child 
born without a brain ; which, had it lived long enough, would 
have made an excellent Publifher of " Philofophical Transactions." 
— N° 228, gives an account of another, that had his brains in the 
nape of his neck. — But the molt remarkable palTage which I 
would have you take notice of is, that, N«233, " Mr. Barrier 
" found, in a girl about eleven or twelve years old, inftead of a 
«' matrix, a very [thin membrane, placed where the matrix is. 
" The outward orifice was hermetically fealed up." And if the 
Chemifts in England would take the fame method with fome of 
our females, they probably might be maids at fifty-one. ,And 
were the fame method ufed at Tunquin, it could not be much 
amifs ; for, N° 243, we are told that, " at Tunquin, there are 
,** women common to any that will hire them, at e;ght or nine 
" years of age." But in England they are not women fo foon, 
though they hire themfelves betimes roo. 

Gent. Thefe are moil admirable flories indeed, to be publifhed 
in the " Philofophical Tranfactions !" Pray, Sii> how do you 
come by them ? 

Trans. Come by them ? I am obliged to my Correfpondents. 
Gent. Indeed, your Correfpondents are as judicious in mak- 
ing obfervations, as you are in publishing them. 

Trans, 



DIALOGUE II. 37 

Trans. Pray, Sir, do not compliment me. What I do is for 
the good of mankind, and for the advancement of Natural Know- 
ledge, and not to gain applaufeu 

Gent. Trulv, Sir, you are very modeft ; and therefore, I 
/hall decline giving you what I otherwifc by all means think. 
your due. 

Trans. Ay! Pray forbear any thing of that nature. It is 
better to pafs our time away in inquiries after knowledge, than 
compliments. And therefore I fhall proceed to acquaint you 
with feveral promifcuous obltrvations in Natural Hiflory ; which 
I am infinitely obliged to my Correfpondents for ; and for put- 
ting which in the " Philoiophical Tranfaftions," )OU will fay, 
the world will be obliged tc me. And, firft, I fhall let you 
know, that " of late the poor people have fe.t their wits as if 
" it were on the tenter-hooks, to make turnip-bread in Effex." 

Gent. By all means, the world will be very much obliged to 
you, for teaching them to make turnip-bread. But I admire the 
language of your Correfpondent fo much, that, I profefs, I am 
the lefs defirous to hear any thing more of your bread. 

Trans. I thought the novelty of the ftyle would furprize you. 

Gent. Surprize me! I am amazed at it. " Set their wits 
" as if it were on the tenter-hooks!" The fimile is very clofe 
and noble ; but pray proceed to your p'.ulofophical entertainment. 

Trans. I was about to acquaint you, in the next place, with 
an account of the Giants Caufeway in Ireland; f* which I was 
« very exact in getting from a perfon who was rei compos, and 
" perhaps peritus. But the prolixity of a philofophical defcription 
" will be too tedious at this time." See N°205. I thought like- 
wife to have told you fomething of " an arch in two ftone chim- 
** nies in Northamptonshire," N° 166. As alfo of " a fcrtus 
" fixteen years in utero," N° 139. "A monftrous child in Jut- 
t* land ;" " Ikulls of fowls defcribed 5" and of " a prodigioufly 
** large feather of the bird Cuntor." But, paffing by thefe, I 
fhall proceed to tell you, that, of late, Dr. Ballflour found feveral 
eggs in the cauda of a Barnacle, N° 222. 

Gent. Indeed, if you were not in hafte, thefe things would 
be very entertaining. 

Trans. They are great curiofities ; and, fince you like them 
fo well, I care not much if I give you a particular account of 
them. 

D 3 Gent. 



3 S THE TRANSACTION EER. 

Gent. Nay, Sir, you are in hafte. Pray proceed to the next. 

Trans. Then the next thing I (hall entertain you with is, an 
account of fome obfervations made in the Eaft Indies, almoft as 
remarkable as the contents of the China cabinet ; for, N*243, we 
are told that " there hath been feen an oyfter-fhell in Bantam, 
" that hath been about eighteen inches diameter ; and feveral in 
" Mocao, that hath been eighteen inches long." ' 

Gent. Thofe are rarities indeed ! " Several hath been eighteen 
" inches long." The elegance of the ftyle is very fingular too. 

Trans. This, Sir, is true modern language: molt of my 
Correfpondents endeavour to imitate me. 

Gent. They may imitate; but they will come far fliort of 
their mark : your ftyle is too intricate for them. But pray, as to 
the matter of fa£t ; you fay, there " hath been feen a fhell," 
which " hath been" fo big. Was it not To big when it was feen ? 
If not, as your ftory intimates, how could they tell 9 feveral hath 
*' been" fo big ? 

Tuans. I fee you make your remarks upon every thing I 
offer almoft ; and therefore I muft beg your pardon, if I pretend 
not to folve Philolophical difficulties. But to proceed : I mail give 
you an account of ltranger things than thefe ; for, N u 243," I 
*< am informed, by the perfon that did fee it, that, at Batavia, a 
" whole Duck was taken out of the belly of a Snake ; and that, 
" in Achin, they did kill a Snake that had a whole Deer in its 
" belly." 

Gent. Prodigious ! and almoft incredible ! 

Trans. Thefe are not half the ftrange ftories delivered in the 
" Philolophical Tranfaclions." N° 225, from Fort St. George, 
I have the following account : " Ina few days after my arrival, 
" thp fruits of my Gomroon journey fliewed themfelves ; for, a 
" Little below the inftep of my left foot, a worm put out its head, 
" which coft me much trouble." But, I am told, fome people 
breed maggots in their heads " without much trouble." 
Gent. Vc;-, Sir; they are natural to fome people. 
Trans. God fend they breed not in the heads of any of my 
Co refpoiidents ; for it will be a great difacivantage to the Publick ! 
Gent It was very well wifhed ; and I wifii they are not got 
Into them already," 

' Trans. Well, let us hope the beft, and proceed to our Philo- 

ibphi:al entertainment. N° 229, we are told that, " in Heittord- 

« * ' " lliirej 



DIALOGUE K. 39 

■" ihire, a ftorm of hail broke vaft numbers of pigeons wings, 
u and fell foul upon the crows and rooks ; and broke as many 
" glafs-windovvs as coll: four pounds repairing." 

Gent. That was an unfortunate mower indeed to the mafter 
of the houfe ! 

Trans. Truly it would vex a man. 

Gent. And mightily entertain a Tranfaclioneer. 

Trans. O dear, mighty diverting ! But pray have you heard 
of fuch a bird as the Scart ? 

Gent. Why, Sir ? 

Trans. Becaufe I am going to tell you fomething of it, which 
is remarkable. 

Gent. Pray, what is that-? 

Trans. Why, N° 133, we are told that " all tribes of birds 
" are obierved to have their Centinels. The watchfulnefs of the 
u Scart is true to a proverb. I know one, who, by furprizing the 
** Centinel, patched three hundred in a night." 

Gent. That is remarkable indeed : fo that, if a Virtuofo hath 
a mind to catch Scarts, he muft endeavour to furprize the Cen- 
tinel. Is not that the Philofophical ufe you make of this ftory ? 

T^an s. Yes, Sir ; that is the way to catch Scarts. 

Gent. That is, furely, of mighty ufe in Natural Philofophy. 
To know how to catch Scarts, makes a man much wifer. 

Trans. Certainly, it is fomething, to know how to furprize 
them. But to proceed : N° 225, we are informed, " that Fifh 
" are not only different from other animals ; but likewife differ 
" very much from one another, there being fcarce a fpecies of 
*' them that hath not remarkable differences." 

Gent. That is really very true ; for the Herring is much dif- 
ferent from the Lobfter, and the Lobfter differs much from the 
Whiting, and the Whiting from the Cockle. 

Trans. But, befules this more obvious obfervation, it is worth 
remarking, " that Filh have their blood naturally lefs hot than 
t* ours ; fo that the natural heat of ours would be a fever in 
" them, and mortal." For which reafon they drink no ftrong 
liquors, fuch as ale, beer, or wine ; but live continually in the 
water, and drink nothing elfe. But whether they do this by 
inftintt or tradition, I am not yet informed ;. but this I can fay, 
J never heard that fo much as one ever died of a feyer. 

Gi- nt. That is very remarkable indeed, 

D 4 Tranj. 



4 o THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

Trans. But they die of other diftempers : for " Fifli are 
" found to die in water frozen over;" occafioned by the freez- 
ing of the water. — " Their fins and tail affift them in their paf- 
" fage through the water, whither they will ; l>ut the dilation of 
" the air in the bladder makes them capable of fwimming, after 
" the fame manner as the dilating of the lungs and thorax bear 
" him up in water." 

Gent. Very well obferved indeed. 

Trans. " Flat fifh have none of this bladder; for r they are 
" able, by reafon of their breadth, to keep themfelves upon the 
«* water." 

Gent. But I think a broad ftone is as apt to fink as a narrow 
one ; and a mill-ftone will fink as another ftone that is not quite 
fo broad. 

Trans. I fliall not difpute that; but, in the next place, pro- 
ceed to give you an account of a fliower of Fifh. N* 243, we have 
the following words : " Since my laft to you, I have received an 
** account of the prodigious rain you long ago defired of me ; 
" and this opportunity offering of conveying it fafely to you, 
" I would rio longer delay it : and had I received the account 
'* as you promiled me of the herrings, I might poffibly have faid 
" fomething more ; but I (hall now leave that to you." 

Gent. The great concern you and vour Correfpondent feem to 
have been in makes me long for the ftory of the Fifties. 

Trans. I mail come to that prefently. ' " The account I had 
*' from a worthy gentleman of this country, who had a box full 
" of thefe Fifties, which he preferved ; but, that being miflaid, he 
" could not perform his promife of giving fome of them, though 
*' he fays he will certainly do it when he finds it." 

Gent. And pray, Sir, cannot you give an account of the 
Fifties till then? 

Trans. Yes, yes, I told you I fhould come to it prefently. 
" On WeJnefilay before Eafter, a pafture-field at Branftead, near 
" Wroth?, m in Kent, about two acres, which is far from the fea 
*' or any branch of it, and a place where there are no filh-ponds, 
«' but a fcarcity of water, was all overfpread with little Fiflies, 
" conceived to be rained down, there having been at that time a 
" great temped of thunder and rain. The Fifties were about the 
" length of a man's little finger, and judged by all that faw them 
*\ to be young Whitings. The field belonged to one Hare, a 

,( yeoman," 



D I A L O G U E II. 4r 

" yeoman." But why they Should fall into this yeoman's ground 
only, nobody knows. 

Gent. But pray how came they to be rained? 

Trans. That is unknown too : only it may probably be guef- 
fed, that the bird puntor, having robbed a fifh-market, could 
carry the prey no further. But, however it was, I think thi$ 
yeoman would do well to make a fifh-pond againft the next 
lhower. 

Gent. Truly, this ftory of the Filh is a very ftrange one ; it is 
almoft incredible. 

Trans. If you think this ftrange, what will you think of a 
fhower of Butter for the Fifh ? 

Gent. It is impoflible ! is it not ? 

Trans. As impoflible as you may think it, you will find it 
recorded as a truth, N° 220, in the following words : " We have 
" had of late, in the county of Limerick, fhowers of a fort of 
<c matter like Butter or Greafe. — Lay it by the fire, and it grow* 
"hard." 

Gent. How then can it be faid to be like Butter ? 

Trans. Becaufe my Correfpondent positively fays, " it was a 
" lhower of Butter." 

Gent. That is a good reafon indeed. 

Trans. No ftranger than true. But, if you will not believe 
this, how will you believe there is " a tree bearing Tallow :" 
N° 229, p. 587. 

Gent. I confers, were it not in the " Tranfaclions," one would 
not be apt to believe it. 

Trans. It is ftrange enough. But pray, did you ever hear of 
the hogs that fli — t Soap, and the cows that Ih — t Fire ? 

Gent. No, truly. 

Trans. Why, N° 263, we are informed, " that, in Lincoln- 
** fhire, they gather up hogs dung, and fteep it in water, and hav- 
" ing well ftirred it, ftrain it, and lo ufe it to wafti cioaths. 
" Hence the proverb, in Lincolnshire, Where the hogs ill — t Soap, 
" and the cows fh — t Fire." 

Gent. Truly we are much obliged to you and your Corre- 
fpondent, for this proverb and its explication. 

Trans. I mull needs fay, a great many Philofophers would 
never have heard of this proverb, had it not been published in my 
*' Tranfaclions." 

Gent. 



-4* THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

Gent. But, if they be ignorant now, it is none of your fault. 

TRANS. No, truly; I would not be guilty of letting fo uleful 
a proverb be loft, for want of taking notice of it. But did ynu 
hear the copy of verfes upon an Eel ? 

Gent. Not that I remember. 

Trans. N°. 223, we have the following : 

" An Ankham Eel, and a Witham Pike, 
" All England cannot fliew the like." 
. Gent. Then you keep correfpondence with Poets ? 

Trans. Any body that can furnilh me with Philofophical 
Ratters. 

Gent. Pray how were thefe verfes occafioned ? 

Trans. Becaufe that river is remarkable for good Eels. 

Gent. A weighty reafon indeed. But are thefe all the rnoft 
eonfidurable paffages in the " Tranfa&ions r" 

Trans. No, Sir. N° 221, Doctor Cvprianus P gives us an ac- 
count of a ladv that was delivered of a child, lt with a wound in 
u her breaft above four fingers long — occafioned by the flrength 
'* of imagination." 

Gent. That, indeed, is very ftrange. 

Trans. It is fo ; and, in my opinion, it is ftrange that a 
Lamb mould be fuckled by a Wether: and yet, N° 214, we arc 
told, " That Sir William Lowther had a Ewe, that had two 
" Lambs ; and (lie, dying, left them young to fhift for themfelves. 
" One of them was 'entertained by a Wether Sheep. — The Lamb 
" fucked the Wether, and brought him to milk, and was main- 
" tained by him all this fummer." 

Gent. This is a very PhUofophical ftory indeed,- this will 
employ the Wits to account for it. 

Trans. Aye, Sir. But thefe are not all the remarkable paf- 
fages taken notice of in thefe Philofophical News-papers ; for, 
N" 240, we have an account of "Glow-worms volant;" and 
" Butterflies eggs that were teftaceous, and near as big as Wrens, 

P Profeffbr of anatomy and furgery in the Univerfity of Franeker, and 
the moll: famous lithotomift of his time. It was a maxim with Cyprianus, 
that furgeons fhould never be " intimidated by threatening profpecls 
** from undertaking dangerous and difficult operations." Sir Thomas 
Millington, phyfician to king Charles 11, was happily cut for the ftone, 
at the age of futy-ei^ht, by this celebrated Prcfeflor, 

«' vnolt 



DIALOGUE II. 45 

moft gloriouily beftudded with gold and filver ; and they hatch 
[ " in the windows, and are a fport for children " 

Gent. Pray how came your Correfpondent to take notice of 
things only fit for'children ? What! did he think your genius 
lay the fame way as childrens do ? 

Trans. I know no reafon why "innocent diverfion" fhould 
not be encouraged amongft me and my Correfpondents, as well 
as amongft children. 

Gent. Indeed, I muft confefs, if it be agreeable, I have no- 
thing to fay againft it ; but fhall rather admire the noble genius of 
your own happy felt, and of your Correfpondents. 

Trans. O good Sir, forbear; pray do not compliment me. 
But to proceed : N° 240, there are likewife " Tonoifes e^gs by 
it ponds fides in great quantities — our dames fcruple not to ufe 
'• them as hens eggs in puddings."— N° 240, " Grafshoppers in 
*' July become volant, and have a kind of regimental difcipline, 
" and, as it were, fome commanders, offuch 'valour, that they are 
i* always ready to fly away, and rife firft when they arc purfued 
*' by the fowls, which I have often ferioufly remarked ;" and won- 
dered at the Simplicity of our commanders, who, inftead of run- 
ning away, are fo fool-hardy as to Hand to fight, regardlefs of 
their lives, not minding the example of thefe creatures, who take 
more care of their own fafety. 

Gent. Very philofophical indeed ! 

Trans. Philofophical! O, dear Sir, thefe things are nothing 
to what I fhall relate to you. I mall, in the next place, give you 
an account of one of the mofl unmannerly Dogs that ever you 
heard of. 

Gent. What is that, pray? 

Trans. Why, N° 235, upon the proclaiming of the peace, 
about a week ago, two troops of horfe difmounted were drawn 
in a line, in order to fire their vollies ; the centre of their line was 
againft the Butcher's door. 

Gent. But when will you let me hear the ftory of the Dog? 

Trans. Alas ! Sir, you have not patience; this is part of thfc 
ftory. " This Butcher kept a very large MaftilT-uog, the big- 
" geft in our town; a Dog of great courage for fighting. This 
" Dog was laid by the fire-fide afleep; but, upon the firft volley 
** ihe foldiers made, he immediately ftarted up." 

Geht. 



44 THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

Gent. A very ffout Dog, I tnufl qonfefs. Was this Dog the 
biggeft in your town ? 

Trans. Yi-s Sir; he was the biggeft. But, alas! y«u ar« 
quite miflaken ; ic was not his courage that made him " ftart up : 
•* he ran into a chamber, and hid himfelf under a bed." 

Gent. And was this your flout Dog f 

Trans. Yes, Sir ; he might be a flout Dog, and yet be fright- 
ened at fuch a furpiizing noife : and, I believe, had you or I 
teen aflcep, we fhould have been furprized too. 

Gent. Nay, T have nothing to anfwer to that. But pray go 
on with your ftory. 

Trans. " The maid fervant going to beat him down (lie 
** never ufing to go up flairs) ; as fhe was fo doing, a fecond volley 
* came ; which made the Dog rife, and run feveral times about 
*' the chamber with violent tremblings." 

Gent. And is that all you have to fay of this Dog ? 

Trans. Yes, Sir; and enough too. 

Gent. Nay, enough of all confeience ; I find no fault with' 
that: but I find no Philofophy in it. 

Trans. No Philofophy? Do you know what Philofophy is, 
pray ? 

Gent. What do you fay it is ? 

Trans. I do not trouble my head about fuch things; it is 
enough for me to tell you that it is Philofophy. 

Gent. Very ftrange Philofophy ! 

Trans. Strange ? It is the only Philofophy that I and my 
Correfpondents take delight in. But, if our Philofophy does not 
pleafe you, I fliall urge it no farther. 

Gent. Yes, yes, Sir ; it pleafes me much : but the novelty of 
the thing makes me afk fo many tpjeflions. Pray favour me 
with a further account of your difcoveries. 

Trans. I proceed; and fliall next entertain you with what 
has been very ravifhing unto me, and the more becaufe it relates 
to my own country. " In the county of Limerick in Ireland, 
«« on the 7th day of June, a great rumbling, or faint noife, was 
*' heard in the earth," N° 233. 

Gent. Pray how could that be? how could " a great rumb» 
" ling" be a " faint noife ?" 

Trans. Alas! what a queftion you afk ! " Soon after, to the 
** great terror and aitonifliHient of a great number of fpcdlators, 

*• a move 



D I A L O G U E II. 4< 3 

" a more wonderful thing happened ; for, in a bog, ftretching 
** North and South, the earth began to move, viz. meadow and 
u pafture land that lay on the fide of the bog, and feparated by a 
" large ditch." 

Gent. Sir, the language you exprcfs this ftory in is too high 
for me ; it is unintelligible. I cannot understand how " the 
Ci meadow and pafture-land that lay on the fide of the bog" 
could be " in a bog." 

Trans. If you cannot underftand Philofophical language, I 
cannot help that ; but mult give you the remaining part of the 
ftory in the words of the Author, for I have none elfe but Phi- 
lofophical words to exprefs myfelf in. His words are thefe ; 
" The pafture-land , rifmg very high, over-ran the ground be- 
" neath it, and moved upon its furface, rolling on with great 
**. pufhing violence, till it had covered the meadow ; and is held 
" to remain on it fixteen foot deep." 

Gent. " Held to remain." That is remarkable, truly. 

Trans. " In the motion of this earth, it drew after it the body 
u of the bog, part of it lying on the place where the pafture-land 
" that moved out of the place it had before ftood — and fo it con- 
" rinues at the prefent, to the great wonderment of thofe that 
" pafs by." 

Gent. Truly, Sir : you have told me a ftory now that is " 2 
14 great wonderment," not only becaufe " the meadow was held 
" to remain upon the pafture-land ;" but that which is the greateft 
wonderment to me is, that " the meadow fhould be able to move 
" forward of itfelf, and draw the body of the bog after it," ac- 
cording to your new Philofophy ; whereas, according to Boyle or 
Cartefius, I fhould have thought that both the bog and the land 
had been protruded by fome internal caufe. 

Trans. Strange! How readily you have learned to fpsak in 
the language of the Moderns ! Methinks you fpeak it as naturally 
as mv Correfpondents. 

G E N t. Sir, I always ftri ve to imitate thofc I admire. But, prav, 
let me not divert your further account of the late " Transitions." 

Trans. The next ftory I fhall relate is this. N° 256, " Mr. 
" Greatrax<J, coming to our houfc, and heaiing of my brothel's 

";! 

<* Valentine Greatrax, an Irifli gentleman, had a f?rong iuipulfe upoa 
hii mind to attempt the cure of djftafes, by toji-hing or flroking the 

parti 



4.5 THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

•« illnefs, defircd to fee him : he ordered the boy to flrip himfcir 

" to his fhirt ; which he did ; and, having given prcfcnt cafe to 
" his head by only ftroaking him with his hands, he fell to rub 
«« his back, which lie moft complained of. But the pain, being 
" frightened, prefently fled from his head to his right thigh : he 
" followed it there ; it fell to his knee, from thence to his leg ; 
«* but he frill purfued it to his ancle, thence to his foot, and at 
•* the laft to his great toe. As it fell lower, it grew more vio- 
«* lent ; efpecially when in his great toe, it made him roar out; 
" but, upo 1 rubbing it there, it Hole out at his toe-end ; and the 
«• boy cried out, It is quite gone." 

GENT. I Confefs, this ftory is very philosophical, medicinal, 
and circumftantial. And firft, for the circumftances : — that 
Greatrax had a defire to fee the boy — that he defned the boy to 
ft r h) — fcem very requiute preparatives for the cure, which to me 
is not a little furprizing ; for how this humour ihould be fo 
frightened, and have fuch an antipathy to Greatrax's hand as to 
run away from it, and that too where there was no paffage or 
vefiels for it to pafs through, I cannot comprehend. 

Trans. It is indeed very ltrange. But this Greatrax hath 
done more than that ; for " a frfllth, whofe name was Peirfon, 
" near us, had two daughters, extremely troubled with the evil ; 
*' the one in her thigh, the other in her arm: he cured them 
«* both at my father's 5 one of them lives ftill in the town ; 1 

parts affected. He firft pradtifed in his own family and neighbourhood ; 
and feverai perfons were, in all appearance, cured by him of different 
diforders. He afterwards came into England, where his reputation fcon 
rofe to a prodigious height : but it declined almoft as fait, whsn the 
expectations of the multitudes that reforted to him were not anfwered. 
Mr. Glanvill imputed his cures to a fanative quality inherent in his own 
COnftitntion ; fome to fiction ; and others (with more probability) to the 
force of imagination in his patients. Of this there were many inftancesj 
one of which, if a fact, is related by M. St. Evremsnd in a peculiar ftrain 
of pleafantry. It is certain that the great Mr. Boyle believed him to be 
an extraordinary perfon, and that he has attefted feveral of his cures. 
His manner of ftroking fome women was faid to be very different from 
his ufual method of operation. A^ print of him, by Faithorne, is pre- 
fixed to " A brief Account of Mr. V. Greatrax, and of divers of the 
•' flrange cures by him performed, written by himfelf, in a Letter to 
" R. B. (Robert Boyle, efq;) 166S," 4I0. See Granger, vol. IV. p. 31. 
and fee abb B.rch's Life of Boyle, 

" was 



D I A L O G U E II. 47 

*' Was with her yefterdav; fhe is a healthy woman, the mother 
* of feveral children : fhe (hewed me her arm." But whether the 
other (hewed her thigh or not, I think not at all material to 
relate. But this Greatrax had another very excellent qualitv j 
" for he would prefently take off fits of the mother, by laying 
" his glove on tlitir heads." 

Gent. Pray, Sir, was your Correfpondent compos mentis., 
when he fent you that relation ? or was he in a fright ? 

Trans. Why do you afk fuch queftions ? 

Gent. Becaufe he feems to be out of breath, or to breath* 
fhort, in his account of the fmith's daughters. One would think 
his inconnexion an effeft either of fome difaffe£tion of his intel- 
lectuals, or that he w«s mightily furprized at fomething. 

Trans. Truly, I cannot tell that; perhaps he might be ia 
fome little confternation at the ftrange effects of Greatrax's 
ftroaking. 

Gent. Indeed, they are fo ftrange, that I have not faith enough 
to believe them. 

Trans. If you have not faith enough to believe what my 
Correfpondents difcover and relate ; perhaps it may be becaufa 
you have not application enough to fearch into the caufes of 
things. Pray what think you of the operation of a Blifter, whea 
it cures a Fever ? 

Gent. That it hath a very good effect. 

Trans. Any body would conclude that; but a mighty Scotch 
Virtuofo r , and one of my particular acquaintance, hath made a 
long difcourfe upon this fubjeft ; and indeed he is fo fenfible of 
the length ofithimfclf, that, like an Orator, with unparalleled 
eloquence, after a long Procemium, he thus fpeaks to his Audi- 
tors, N°2 52. " Do but think then, had I infilled on Veficatioa 
" in general; what had I done for time and patience, to you, O 
" my Hearers, in a Difcourfe about a Blifier ? Any one but your- 
u felves fhould be ready to believe, that there can be nothing of 
** that confequence in the thing." 

Gent. That is a great compliment upon the Auditors. Bur, 
methinks, he chiefly defigned it home upon you, becaufe your in- 
duftry extends itfelf fo far as to take notice of things, in which 
u others fee nothing of that confequence." 

» William Coekburo, M. D. F. R, S. See vol. XXI. p. 161. 

Trans. 



4 8 THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

Trans. Truly I cannot tell whether he had a paiticular de- 
fign to compliment me ; hut thus lie proceeds : " and that thev 
" would rather throw away Medicine altogether, at leaft Blifbers 
*• out of Phyfick ; than to be troubled with a Difcourfe fo long, 
V that is more painful than a Blifter itfelf." 

Gknt. This is moft fharp wit. But pray, pood Sir, if this 
Difcourfe be fo very painful, I had rather you would pafs it by. 

Trans. No, no, be not afraid of it ; I will take care it fhall 
not be (o painful to you. I fhall only take notice of a few of the 
wittieft fentences, and the moft valuable paf£\gf>. " I muft beg 
" leave to tell vol'," fays he, " that I have eraplovcd mi crofcopef. 
i* to look upon this Fly and its powder, to fee if I could difcover 
* l any fharp inftruments, 1 words, oaggerB, or the like fort of 
M armiture, in theie warlike and wounding creatures." 

Gent That is an admirable paffage. " Dead Flies warlike 
" and wounding creatures !" Your Correfpondent truly was in 
the right to diiarni iuch fort of creatures j for, if they are able to 
make ufe of fwords and daggers after they are dead, there is no 
fafety amongft them. But what arms were diicovered Uy youv 
Correfpondent ? 

Trans. None at all ; " For," fays he, " whatfoever elfe T 
*' found, I could meet with no arms at all ; which makes me 
" think that, if they have any, as needs they muft, they are coat- 
'« cealed and are to be difcovered in another way." 

Gent. Nay, if they conceal their weapons, nobody know: 
how to deal with them. I wonder how your Hero durft w 
to ftay fo long in their company. 

Trans. It is dangerous indeed. "Creatures that have fet all 
" the Phyfick in this town in a combuftion or ferment." And 
trulv, fince " a g;reat man complained of E.\f trictii la lacing a 
" Fallax," I think he did verv impudentlv to meddle with them. 

Gent. And are thefe all the remarkable paliages in " his pain- 
" ful Difcourfe ?" 

Trans. No, Sir, he tells us, " Since death, or no circulation 
«' of the blood, is the conference of poifon ; we muft find as 
*• many kinds of poifon as there are ways of flopping the blood's 
f* motion." 

Gent. ThenHanging is poifon; for that is one way of " death, 
u or no circulation of the blood." 

Trans. Truly, my Correfpondent never confulered that con- 
sequence. Hold ! cow you talk of Hanging, one of my Cor- 
6 refpondents 



DIALOGUE ll. 49 

refpondents 5 is of opinion that Hanging is not poifon ; for, K° 
240 ', fays lie, fpeaking of men that are hanged, " The remark- 
" able lividnefs of their faces, with the extraordinary diftortion of 
" the jugulars in the feveral branches above the ligature, argue:, 
" they die in a great meafure apoplectic." 

Gent. Very learnedly concluded. Then, I fuppofe, Hanging 
hereafter will not be accounted an ignominious death 5 for it is 
no difgrace to die of an apoplexy. But pray proceed to the reft 
of your Philofophical relations. 

Trans. N°25i, we have the following account of a child's 
head. " I did take off the three upper "vertebra of the neck 
" before I could find the medulla Jpinalis. — The tongue was 
" frefh,and doubtlefs had performed the deglutition, to make ths 
" child f wallow the colliquamentum. The larynx and all the 
** parts of the throat #ere, as the reft of the body were, in as good 
" and natural condition as can be. I leave others to explain how 
" this child could live without brains." 

Gent. Oh, dear Sir, that fhould never have been omitted j it 
was the main thing in the relation. Befides, the explaining that 
would have folved a Problem at prefent much debated in the 
world ; which is j how moil of your Correfpondents can five 
under the very fame circumftances with that child. But prav, 
what ufe did he make of the bones ? 

Trans. That, Sir, he tells you very exprcfslv. Savs he, " T 
" keep the bones of that fkull in my houfe, to convince any body 
" that they are bones,", if they fhould queflion it. 

Gent. Truly, I cannot imagine for what other ufes you fhould 
keep them. But, pray, if the child wanted brains, I underfranJ 
not how the larynx and all the parts of the body could be in a 
good and natural condition. 

s Dr. William Mufgrave. This very learned phyfician and antiquary 
was born, in Somerfetihire, about 1657. He was admitted at New College, 
Oxford, 1675 ; took the degree of bachelor of laws, June 14, 1682 ; but, 
entering afterward on the phyfick line, diftinguiflied himfelf greatly byliis 
knowledge in that profeffion and in natural philofophy ; and was elected 
F. R. S. He was made Secretary in 1684, ; and puLlifhed the " Tranf- 
" actions" from N° 167 to 173 inclufive. He took his degrees in phyfick 
in ] 6S 5 and 16S9 ; and was admitted a fellow of the college of phyficians- 
In 1601, he feitted at Exeter j and, after having exere'rfed his profefiion 
there with great reputation, died Dec. 23, 1721. 

t Vol. XX. p. 179. 

Vol. II« F T?, 



5 o THE T R A N S A C T I O X E E R. 

Trans. That is onlv, as I told you before, our way of cx- 
piefhng ourfclves ; for as, amongft the Beaux, a carelefs ilrefs is 
the moil admired, fo wc Philofophers fignalize ourfclves by a 
carelefs uie of language. But to proceed. I ihall give you a 
fhort account of what happened lately in Lapland. N° 231, we 
have the following account of a fmall foit of creature, called 
Sable-mice. " They are fo fierce and angry, that, if a flick be 
" held out at them, they will bite it." 

Gent. That is very daring indeed ! 

Trans. " In their march, they keep a direct line, and are in- 
" numerable thoufands in each troop. — They march by night, 
" and in the twilight, and deep by day ;" as the Moufc in the 
Fable ufed to do.—" If they meet any thing in their way that 
* might flop them, they avoid it not, though it were fire, a deep 
" well, a torrent, or a lake j and by that mc^is thoulands of thcru 
M are deftroyed." 

Gent. Mighty refolute, truly ! 

Trans, 'i When they are met in woods or fields, and flopped, 
" they fet themfelves up on their hinder legs like a dog, and 
'.' make a kind of barking or fqueaking noiie— defending their 
" line as long as they can ; and if at the lalt they are forced out 
" of it, they creep into holes, and fet up a cry, founding like 
" Biabb, biabb ! Quarter, quarter !" Is not the language of the!?. 
Mice very remarkable ? 

Gent. Very rcmaikable, and entertaining for a PhilofopLer 5 
It enriches a man's underftanding much, to know the fury and 
conduct of a Moufe, and what noife it makes when it is frightened. 
But pray, Sir, let me beg the favour of an account of the Moors 
of Weil Barbary and their cuftoms ? 

Trans. Aye, with all my heart, Sir. N° 2^4, p. 248, we arc 
told, " That the Baibary Moor, when he rifes in the morning, 
" wafhes himlelf all over, and d relies ; then goes to their giarr.a> 
" or church ; lays his prayers, and returns home ; where his 
" wife, concubine, or ilave, hath his brcakfail ready for him, 
" which is ibmctimes made of barley or wheat gruel. — I have been 
" often treated with warm bread, frefh butter, and honcv, in a 
" morning ; as alio a haily-pudding with butter. In Sufe, I had 
" .1 bag of honey preferred to mc, with poppv-feeds in it i it 
" made mc flefcpy; but I found mvfelf well and in good temper 
M of body after it. — They feldom ulc a knife j and a fork is a 

" ilrange 



D I A L O G U E II. 51 

*' ftrange tiling amongft them. They are dextrous at this way 
"of carving; and never flinch, though they burn their fingers, 
** for that would look mean. When they have done, they lick. 
•' their fingers, as plough-men do in our country. After they 
*' have eaten the meat, they dip the bread in the fauce or broth, and 
*' eat it. For their meat to be ftrongly fcafoned, is no great 
" fault ; and if one fhould fay," It is too high of pepper;" they will 
*' replv, "It Is better to be ah than faugh !"■— They have gcod 
" Capons, Snipes, Pipers, and Antelopes. They will eat a Fox, 
u if fat ; but not if lean : whence the proverb, Helkl deeb,haram 
*' deeb, A Fox is lawful, and a Fox is unlawful ; i. e. Fat law* 
" ful, lean unlawful.— When the Moors have fcafted, every one 
u wafhes his hands and mouth ; thanks God — they talk a little, 
"or tell fome ftory, and then lie down to reft; where I fhall 
" leave them at the prefent, and do beg your pardon for fo tire* 
" fome and frivolous a difcourfe." 

Gent. Upon my word, Sir, I think, your Friend concludes 
rightly. 

Trans. Concludes rightly, Sir? Why, all my Friends con- 
clude fo. 

Gent. Aye, to be tirefome and frivolous. 

Trans. O dear Sir, no; but, if the length of this has been 
fomething tedious, I will now entertain you with one which may 
make amends ; for, N° 249, we received the following Letter : 
" Herewith you will receive a Cervus volans, divers forts of 
" Scarabs, and three or four forts of Lady-bugs." But, not to 
pafs too much time away upon this, I fhall rather tell you, that 
** Jeremiah Skelton, obferving a ltorm coming, laid, " I think it 
" will be rain ; I will go and gather in fome of the corn." — 
" While at this work, bringing in a burden and catting it upon 
** the barn-floor, the tempelt began as he came forth again $ 
"whereupon he ftcpt afulc for flicker into the barn-door, and, 
" while there, was flruck with a dreadful flafh of fire. A young 
" woman, that lived with her father in the houle that Ijclongcd 
" to this farm, leaves the houle, and, not feeing the young man 
" about the barn, goes with fpeed and tells the family he was re- 
" luted to that fhe feared he was flain. They came to the barn, 
*' and found it even fo, a lad ipciftaclc ! His clogs driven fiom 
" his feet, one not to be found, and the other cloven ; and liis 
" Uat not to be found after fcarch. This young man would have 
L > *' been 



*t THE TRANSACTION EER. 

11 been twenty-two years of age next June, is faid to have been 
11 fober and hopeful, was buried at Luddenden the Monday fol- 
" lowing." N° 249. — To this, I have two more philofophical 
matters to add. The firft is, an account of the generation of 
Fleas. See N° 249, p. 2. " At laft is difcovered, by the inde- 
" fatigable induflry of Signior Diacinto Ceftone, the true way of 
u the generation of Fleas, their worms, and entire metamorphofes j 
"which have hitherto been obfeure, though fought after. The 
" Fleas bring forth eggs (or a fort of nits) -, from thefc eggs are 
" hatched worms ; thefe worms make to themfelves bags like 
." filk-worms, and from out of thefe bags come Fleas." — Having 
thus given you an hiftorical account of the generation of Fleas ; 
I mall proceed to a difcourfe of Coffee, N° 256, p. 511. "Of 
" the Berries boiled in water, is made a drink, and drunk much 
" amongll the Arabians and Turks, and alfo now in Europe."— 
As for the manner of its being firft made a trade of in England, 
I mall give you the following account : " Anno 1652, one 
" Edwards came over into England, and married the daughter of 
"one Alderman^ Hodges. This Hodges fettled to drink Coffee 
" with Edwards with much delight. After this, Edwards fet up 
" one Pafqua for a Coffee-man. The Ale-houfe- keepers, fearing 
" it would fpoil their trade, petitioned the Lord Mayor againft 
" him. Upon this, Hodges joined as a partner with Pafqua one 
" Bowman. At the laft, Pafqua died, and Bowman kept the 
" trade ; and, when he died, left his wife, who had been Hodges's. 
" cook-maid, pretty rich; but fhe died poor. — John Painter was 
" Bowman's firft apprentice. Bowman died ; and, after a year, 
" his wife let the houfe to one Eatler, whofe daughter married 
" Humphrey Hodlkins, Bowman's fecond apprentice." And, 
after fome time, the trade grew univerfal : but what was the rife 
of Batfon's, "Will's, or Richard's, I cannot tell. But this I have. 
been told : " Coffee hath greatly encreafed the trade of Tobacco and 
" Pipes, Earthen Dimes, Tin Wares, News-papers, Coals, Candles, 
" Sugar, Tea, Chocolate ; and what not ? Coffee-houfes make all 
" forts of people fociablc ; they improve Arts and Merchandize, 
" and all other knowledge. And a worthy Member of this 
" Society has thought that Coffee-houfes have improved ufeful 
" knowledge very much."— I thought to have proceeded to giyj 
an hiftorical account of the mod remarkable trades in England ; 
fls Chimney-fweping, Tinkers, Pedlars, &c. ; and what were tha 

name; 



DIALOGUE II. 55 

names of thofe that were firft of that employment, as alfo the 
names of their apprentices, and who they married. But, fince I 
have preiTed upon your patience fo long, I fhall force no more 
upon you than you are willing to bear. Bur, pray, let me alk 
your opinion of thefe " Philofophical TranfadYions," and what 
thoughts you have of my Friends. Are they not men that 
take a great deal of pair.s to improve knowledge, and let nothing 
pafs that is worth noting ? 

Gent. Much pains, it muft be allowed, ye have taken: it is 
pity ye had not confidered to what purpofe. 

Trans. Why, is there not a great deal of natural knowledge zo 
be learned from what I have written and publilhed ? 

Gent. Sir, one may learn how prettily )ou and your Cor- 
refpondents are emploved ; but nothing that will make a man 
vvifer, or more a Philofopher : for what am I the wifer, for know- 
ing " the Mice creep into holes," or " how naftily the Moors 
" pull their meat ?" Nor is what you have acquainted me with, 
of the generation of Fleas, any more than what a louzy beggar 
could have told many years ago. And as for your Coffee-ftory, 
I take it to be a tale fit to be related only amongft old women 
and mechanicks. 

Tkans. And is that all you can fee in fuch improvements? 

Gent. No, Sir, it is not all : for your Correfpondent tells us, 
that Coffee promotes the Tobacco trade, and confumes Pipes and 
Candles. But, I fuppofe, any Coffee-woman knows that, without 
the afliitance of your Friend to inform her. 

Trans. Well, fince I fee you are refolved not to think fip 
well of my Correfpondents as I could wifh, I beg your pardon 
for entertaining you fo long with fuch Philofoplucal relations ; 
which, I perceive, inftead of diverting, have made you uneafy. 
But yet, I muft tell you, my Correfpondents will not be dif- 
couraged from purfmng their defign, though the whole World 
laugh at them. 



E ? CAN- 



i 54 ] 

O N T E N 



O F 



THE TRANSACT IONLER. 

THE Tatler's Opinion of a Virtuofo, Page* 

Some Account of Sir Hans Sloane, 3 

— of Dr. Salmon, 4 

of Mr. Oldenburg, 6 

of Dr. Plot, 7 

The Compiling of the Philofophical Tranfuftions the Work 

of a finglc Pcrfon, ibid. 

The Excellence of hi> Stvle, 8 

His Clearneis and Perlpicui'v, ibid. 

Genius to Poetry, io 

— ■ • ■ ■ Ycrles on Jamaica Pepper, 11 

— — Poli;ickb in Gardening, ibid. 

— — 1 — Skill in Botanicks, \z 



Mr. Ray's Definition of a very curious little Inftrument, ibid 

Ipecacuanha harmlefs and helpful, 13 

Cynurambe (or Rats-bane) not to be taken in too great 

Quantities ibid. 

■'.■• illpwing Pebbles dangerous, and whv, ibid. 

A China Eai -picker, 14 

Picking the Ears too much, dangerous, ibid. 

Ir.ltr.iment for paiing ihe Nails, 16 

A Curry-comb for .1 Man, ibid. 

A Pair of Brats Twix -..i-, ibid. 

\ wjcle-tpothed Comb, and a fmall-tootbed Comb, ibid. 

\ Sheet of Paper from China,- ibid, 

\ Scarlet P. tterflvj ibid. 

A Fp1 le Mai dihle, ibid. 

A Deicription uf the great Iiifhman, 17 

_ of Pod ure-rnafter Clark, [bid. 

bat traveled from Jamaica to Ireland. 18 

1 < ■ tied U) Dunking, 20 

Wiia; 



CONTENTS OF THE TRANSACTIONEER. 55 

What Drowning is, Page 20 

That Men cannot fwallow when they are dead, 2 1 

That a Shell is not a Cruft, 23 

Mr. Pcttiver's Specimens of Magnificence, 25 

. 1 — .— Twenty Volumes in Folio filled with Trees, ibid. 
— Blackmoors Teeth fo called for theirWhitenefs, ibid. 

. . Eyes of a Tortoife bigger than its Head, ibid. 

■ African Materia Mcdica, 26 

—————— Skill and Talent in Compliments, ibid. 

Irifli Machenboy purges not in the Pocket, 27 

Charles Worth, his Man and Maid, all merrily beflv-»-t, ibid. 
William Matthews and his Family much in the fame Pickle, il 
A Woman that talked obfeenely, and offered her Cow for 

a Bag-pipe, 30 

Of Ambergrife Ben, ibid. 

Old Jenkins older than Old Parr by Computation, 3 1 
Dr. Lifter bit by a Porpoifc, and how hij Finger fell fick 

thereupon, 34 

A Medicinal Spring with an Oak over ir, 33. 

The Medicinal Qualities of Bread and Checfc, 3+ 

The Chamberlain's Landing theCaufe of a Cough, ibid. 

Scurvy Conlequences of marrying too foon, 35 

A Head that was a Bag, 36 

A new Way to preferve a Maidenhead, ibid. 

Women in Tunquin begin betimes, ibid. 

Wits on Tenterhook to make Turnip-bread, 37 

A Fcetus fixteen Years in Utero, ibid 
Mr. Tranfa&ioneer's prodigioufly large Feather of the Bird 

Cuntor, ibid. 

Eggs in the Cauda of a Barnacle, ibid. 

The whifking Oyfter-mclls of Bantam, 3S 

A Buck in a Snake's Belly, ibid. 

Fotrr Pounds-worth of Glafs broken by Hail, 39 

joo Scarts murdered, in one Night, ibid. 

Filh dilYerent from one another, ibid. 

No Fifh die of Fevers, ibid. 

A Shower of Whitings, 40 

A Shower of Butter to drcf> them with, 4« 

A Tree bearing Tallow, ibid. 

Hogs that ih — t Soap, ibid. 

E 4 Cpvys 



5 6 CONTENTS OF THE TRANSACTIONEER. 

Cows that (h — t Fire, Page 41 

Verfes on an Eel and a Pike, 42 

A Lamb i'uckled by a Wether, ibid. 

Martial Difcipline of Grafshoppers, 43 

A ltout Butcher's Dog that run under a Bed, ibid. 

Mr, Hone O Hone's traveling Irifli Bog, 45 

Mr. Greatrax's Excellence in Stroaking, ibid. 

Some Account of him, 46 

A Dilcourle more painful than a Blifter, 47 

Cantharides armed with Swords and Daggers^ 41 

Hanging mortal, ibid. 

— r apopleftical, 49 

Some Account of Dr. Mufgrave, ibid. 
The Fiercenefs of a Sable Moufe, ibid. 
That a Fox is lawful, and a Fox is unlawful, 5X 
Four Sorts of Lady- bugs, ibid, 
Clo s cloven with Thunder, ibid. 
The true Way of the Generation of Fleas discovered by in- 
defatigable Induftry, 52 
Who was the Firft Coffee-man, ibid. 
That Coffee-houfes promote the Trade of News-papers, and 
make People fociable, 53 



USEFUL 



USEFUL TRANSACTIONS 

I N 

PHILOSOPHY, 

AND 

OTHER SORTS OF LEARNING: 

IN THREE PARTS. 



I. For the Months of January and February, 1708-9. 
II. For March and April, 1709. 
WI. For May, June, July, August, and September, 1709. 



" I mall not fcruplc to confds, that Truth, in fome cafes, 
" may beget Admiration. Mathematical Truths, 
« efpecially of new-invented Theorems, will raife it to a very 
"extraordinary degree. VVitnefs, that known ftory of the old 
u Mathematician, who hit upon a confulerahle difcovcry as he 
'« was bathing 5 and, in an ecftacy and tranfport of mind, ran 
** home naked through the public ftreet?. But how obfervablc 
M is it here, that even in a Truth, it is its feeming conformity 
" to Error that produces this admiration, by the common way 
" of novelty and Jnrprize : as when we find the ratio between 
"two things (whofe crrftance makes an exact comparifon appear 
" impoffirue) by a miJiutn that feemed beyond the reach of 
ft human wit to difcovcr or apply." 

Critical and Philosophical Enquiry into the 
Caufcs of Prodigies and Miracles, &c, 



C 59 3 

USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

(To be continued Monthly, as they fell.) 

PART I. 

For January and February, 1708-9. 

PREFACE. 

IT has been an old faying, " That there is no opinion fo ab- 
" furd, but that it has been maintained by fome Philofopher 5" 
as, " That Snow is Black; that Cabbages fpeak in the Moon; 
•" and that the Magpve is the moft coniidcrable Lawyer in the 
" Sun: that the birds -called Ganzas will carry a Man up to thofc 
" countries as Griffins will to the South Continent." Some tell 
vis, " That this Moon is fuch anothej: thing as Mambrino's Brafi 
" Bafon in Don Quixote ;" but Don Lamberto, in his famous 
Hiftory, proves it, by arguments undeniable, from mutton greeh 
boiled that is red, from green geefe that are white, &c. " that, 
M notwithstanding its appearance, it, is made of Green Chcefe." 
Some tell us, " That Women have no Souls ; that Self-murder 
" is lawful and convenient ; that Mince-pye and Plumb-porridge 
"are finful at Chrrftmas; that there is no Motion, no Pain;" 
with a thoufand fuch-like fancies, which have conuderably fliewn 
both their wit and judgement. It may not improperly be faid 
at pref^nt, that there is nothing in any art or fcicncc, ln>w mean 
foever it mav fecm at tuft, but that a true Virtuofo, by hand- 
ling it philofophicallv, may make of it a learned and large Dif- 
(ertation. The Athenians, in their profperitv, firft began fuch 
difcourfes for want of other/! iverfions ; the Roman-, being much 
taken up with their wars, had not. fo large (though form) fhare 
jn them. 1 lie Italians have had abundance of their Academies 
under whimhcal names, as the Infenfibk ; the AJlonij'ked, the 
Raving, the Doubtful, the Ignorant, and a multitude cf other.-. 
The French have fallen into this fame method, and have mads 

fa 



60 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

fo confiderable a progrefs in their amufcments, efTays, and ex- 
periments, that they have given a very good handle for imitation 
to the Britons. They have, as they are better at improvement 
than invention, made a great progrefs in the moil: curious parts 
of Philofophy, efpecially natural and mechanical. And yet what 
vaft provinces ftill remain untouched ! Alexander, had he lived 
now, might have daily found new worlds to conquer. The wor- 
thy Authors of the prefent " Ufeful Tranfa&ions" have communi- 
cated fome of them, but have infinitely more in their clofets. 
Thefe fliew, that good Houfewives, Trades-men, Boys, Pedlars, 
Semftreffes, Poets, Gipfies, and indeed all forts of profeffions, 
may be ufeful to the world, if they ftudy Philofophy, and fet 
their characters in a true light. The Gentlewoman, who wrote 
the difcourfe about the Invention of Samplers, is of a very grave 
and fed ate temper, and can ufe her pen in profe or poetry as 
well as her needle. She is daily making new collections of ancient 
characters wrought in embroidery, both upon woollen and linen. 
She had lately an old piece of frize fent her ; the letters indeed are 
picked out, but the flitches imitate fome words that have been 
there. This fhews marking, and, as we may call it, writing 
upon cloth, to have been very much ufed in King Henry the 
Eighth's time j tills, as me fays, being fome of that famous coat, 
part frize, part cloth of gold, which Charles Brandon, who had 
married the Queen Dowager of France, wore at a noble tourna- 
ment, with this elegant motto, 

" Cloth of frize, be not too bold, 

" Though thou art join'd to cloth of gold. 

" Cloth of gold, do not defpife, 

" Though thou art join'd to cloth of frize." 
The fame Author took the opportunity of a Weflern boat to 
Chelfea as foon as the laft great froft broke, not valuing her 
health fo much as the curiofity of feeing a band, that is enclofed 
in a glafs cafe, at the repoGtory of the ingenious Mr. Salter, 
famous for his Coffee, Mufick, Punch, and Poetry. It is very 
well attefted to have been the band which King Charles II. wore 
in his troubles, under the habit of a country-man. The hem, the 
plaits in the neck, and the faihion, (he fays, are of that age and 
quality; but fhe was particularly delighted with the ingenuity 
of the darning that is at the collar. The honeft Welfh School- 

rns.ftcr 



PREFACE TO PART I. 6r 

matter is a plain man, and is far from defigning any reflexion 
upon that country. The perfon who vindicates Millers and 
Taylors does the latter, as obliged to them for their truft and 
fidelity. The Collections from Meurfius will fhew that learned 
Foreigners can fpend their time as ufefully as the Britons, and 
fo make them not too vain of their own perfections. The laft 
Effay has a great variety of language, though the fenfe be much 
the fame ; and, if it may give encouragement to fome of our 
modern Poets, it will have its end. The whole is defigned to 
promote Learning as much as any thing of the fame nature and 
method that for thefe many years laft paft has appeared in publick. 
Farewell. 



N« I. 

An Essay on the Invention of Samplers; com- 
municated by Mrs. Judith Bagford : with an 
Account of her Collections for the fame 8 . 
By Mrs. Araeella Manly, Schooi-miftrefs at 
Hackney. 

c< r TH H E antiquity" of Samplers has not been " treated of by 
A " fo many Authors" as fuch a fubject may feem to de- 
ferve b . " I fhall now only give a fhort account of the obfer- 
H vations I have made fo many years" from old pieces of linen, 
of fuch feveral forts and kinds as I could find in Long-lane, 
Thieving-lane, Monmouth-ftreet, and other repofitories of valuable 
Tarities. " The general notion of moft Authors is, that we had 
" the original of them from the Chinefe ; but others are not in 
" the leaft inclined to that opinion, for at that time of day we 

a Mr. Humfry Wanley, F. R. S. communicated to the Royal Society, 
" An Eflay on the Invention of Printing, by Mr. John Bagford ; with 
" an account of his Collections for the fame." He was Librarian to 
J.ord Oxford; and died July 6, 1726. 

k See Phil. Tra-nf. for April, 1707, vol. XXVI, p. 2397. 

6 " had 



6? USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

« had no knowledge of them," p. 2397 c . I cannot tell that ; for 
Sir John Mandcvile d , if there he any truth in Hi (lory, was 
among them, and might bring from them not only that, but 
many other inventions, too exquilitc for the relifh of that age. 
I was told by a learned man, that their filks and earthen ware 
have all their fcveral marks and writings upon them. I confefs, 
I love them fo well, that I could be content to have enough to 
be every day tired with looking on their feverat inferiptions. 

However, without entering into any difpute, the ncccfiity of 
Samplers feems to have begun among)! the Heathen Gods them- 
felves ; for it was high time for Admetus and Hercules to brand 
their cattle both with their chriftian and furname, when there 
were fuch thieves abroad as Mercury and Cacus. 

But the firft account of that matter, as to our own fex, is that 
of Arachne ; who, weaving finer canvas for Samplers, bv which 
voung people might work by threads, incurred the anger of Pallas, 
hanged herfelf, and was afterwards turned into a lpider, whole 
web flill continues wrought with fpace intervening at equal 
diftance. It is certain that our fex was come to perfe&ion in 
them before the time of Pandion, who had a daughter named 
Philomela, who went to fee her filter Progne married fo one 
Tereus king of Thrace. Now it grieves my heart to think of 
this poor -creature ; not fo much becaule this lame Tereus ra- 
vifhed her, but becaufe he cut out her tongue, and pared her 
nails, fo that flic had no weapons to defend hcrfelf, and put her 
into a huge caftle, allowing her neither pen, ink, nor paper : 
but, as we fay, u no wit like a woman's" fhe — having from her 
childhood minded her Sampler, fet forth the whole ltory in needle- 
work, and fent it to her filter. Tereus would afterwards have 
killed them both; but they were changed, one into a fwallo.v, 

c This and the following references to pages point out fimiUr partakes 
in the " Philofophical Tranfadlions." 

<J Born at St. Alban's about the beginning of the fourteenth century. 
He was bred to phyfick j but, pofl'efTuig an invincible defire for travel- 
ing, left England in 1332, and did not return for four and thirty years. 
In that time, he had traveled through an infinite number of countries, 
and learnt almolt all languages. He published his Itinerary in Englifh. 
French, and Latin ; and it was translated into German, Dutch, art d 
Italian. His rambling difpolition leading him to a fecond journey, b • 
died at Liege, Nov. 17, 137 1. The belt Edition of his Travel? is that in 
8vo, printed in 1715, from a MS. in the Cotton Library. 

the 



ESSAY ON SAMPLERS, $ 9 

the other into a nightingale. Here it is very remarkable, that 
the memory of this flory doc:: it prcfent continue j for there aro 
no Samplers, which proceed in any meafure beyond the firft ru» 
diments, but have a tree and nightingale fitting on it, as may 
be proved by many inftances, more particularly one I took, from a 
child's breaft vvhofe nole was not of the cleaneft, appealing it in 
the mean time with a piece of ginger-bread. 

" I think therefore we might more probably take the rife of 
" Samplers from the ancient Grecians their marks or names at 
" the bottom of their pots, bowls," (ibid.) and other things, ef« 
pedal ly if that opinion be true, which learned men affirm, that 
the Greeks had traffick here with England long ago ; and that 
our language has a great many words entirely Greek ; which I 
mould be mighty glad of, becaufe I love it ever fince Mr. 
Preitwich faid he would in an evening's time teach me that or 
any other language I had a mind to. I went once to fee hit 
curiofnies, where he brought a piggen, marked, as I thought, 
" X. S." which, he faid, fiood for Xantippc Socrates, and was 
ufed by her to throw water on her huiband's head. It was an- 
cient, and not very redolent. He ihewed me a bowl, with 
" D. O. G." upon it, which, he faid, was that of Diogenes, an 
ill-natured philofopher. He ihewed me feveral other wooden 
platters and warning-tubs, the letters all branded into the wood, 
jult as we do them now. He faid further, " that the Romans 
" took this art from the Greeks ;" and ihewed me an old great 
long table-cloth, marked " J. U. L." which, he favs, Julius 
Ca?far left behind him in Britain j a dirty handkerchief, marked 
" N. E. R." which, he faid, once belonged to Nero ; it was- 
very bloody. 1 afked him, why he did not waih them. " Ob, 
" he !" lays he, " that is not like an Antiquary ! It is the dire 
" makes them valuable." He faid, " That, about the time of 
" Domitian, there lived one Hermogencs. that would kt no fort 
" of linen cfcape him. Then marking came moft in faihion, 
" that people might know their own again. And upon that, he 
opened a large cheit of old lir.cn ; which, he faid, " had been 
" left hiin by his mother, who had the honour to be a Pawn- 
" broker." Thefe he valued extremely, for their variety of mark- 
ing ; faying, " That, if he could not get a verv large fum for 
" then, ho vrould, at his death, leave them to fome public 
" repolitor.." 

But 



64 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

But to proceed in mv fubje£V. Though the Roman foldiers 
wives might bring Samplers into England ; yet the Britifh, for 
many ages, had no occafion, or, at leaft, could not ufc them. 
For Boadicea and her daughters, that always wore helmets, had 
no occafion or leifure to mark head-cloaths. The Britons had as 
little, feeing their table-cloths and napkins were only clean 
rufhes many years after the Conqueft. Hengift and Horfa 
brought over with their Saxon forces a banner with a raven em- 
broidered on it by their fitter ; but whether their linen was 
marked with " H H's," is not in hiftory. When the top of the 
countrv had onlv frefli ftraw for their bedding, it is not pro- 
bable they were fo curious as to mark their meeting. " I could 
" not find in the Bodleian Library at Oxford," (ibid.) whither I 
went out of curiofity, and was " kindly entertained by my Aunt 
" Pollard's fon Nicholas/' (ibid.) that in ancient time the ladies 
had any linen worth marking. Dervorgilla e , wife to John 
Baliol f King of Scots, and Margaret Dutchefs of Richmond 8, 
Mother to King Henry the Seventh, have nothing but plain or- 
dinary headcloaths. Mrs. Dorothy Wadham h feems to have had 
lawn, but too much ftarched. Queen Elizabeth had lace ; but of 
her hereafter. 

Having brought it down to this age, it is my humble opi- 
nion, that Samplers began to be in fafhion in King Henry the 
Eighth's time j for, before that, none but the^clergy had learning 
enough to read. And pray then what ufe could marking of linen 
be of to the laity, when no perfon could tell by the letters 

e Sometimes written ** Devorgilla ;" joint foundrefs with John Baliol 
of the College of that name, 1263. — Her picture in the Oxford gallery 
was taken from Jenny Raikes, an apothecary's daughter at Oxford, who 
was efteemed a beauty, and was twice married ; firft, to Mr. Mugg, reft^r 
of Stockport, who left her the advowfon of that rectory ; and afterwards 
to one Allen a clergyman, who had been a buccaneer, aud who, after he 
had got pofleflion of the advowfon, brought from Jamaica another wife 
and feveral children. See Granger, vol. I. p. 30. 

1 His portrait is faid to have been painted from an Oxford blackfmith. 

g Foundrefs of Chrift's College, Cambridge. 

h Daughter of the famous Sir William Feke, wife to Nicholas Wad- 
ham, and joint foundrefs with her hufband, in 1609, of the college which 
bears their name. They were Catholicks, and had formed a defign of 
eftablifhing a feminary at Venice: but the love of their country proved 
fuperior to their religious prejudice?, 

whqfs- 



ESSAY ON SAMPLERS. 6 3 

whofe it was unlefs they went to the Prieft, and that was a cer- 
tain way to lofe it. " Gammar Gurton's Needle i " made one of 
the moft entertaining interludes of that time ; it is printed in a 
black Letter, but not improper to be read in boarding-fchools. 
I have one of Scogan's night-caps, who was jefter to that king, 
with his name at length. And this I think ** to have been 
" taken from playing- cards : if it be certain that playing-cards 
" are as old as our King Henry the Sixth, nothing that I have 
" feen or considered feems to give fo fair a hint for Samplers," (ibid.) 
for we fee the court-cards all marked with their proper names, 
as David, Rachel, Judith, Alexander, Hewfon, &c. according 
to their different countries and ages. 

11 I could give you a fpecimen of two or three Samplers exact 
" as they were embroidered ; but I am apt to believe that if 
*} fome curious perfons," together with the church- wardens of 
IMington, Hackney, Chelfea, Camberwell, and fuch-like places, 
" had the liberty of lookinginto the feveral Boarding-fchools, there 
" might be found other fpecimens of female ingenuity." P. 2398. 

The ancient Samplers began firft with eyelet-holes ; then 
" cut-work was invented firft at Harleim." (ibid.) The invention 
of bobbins I do not find in any good Author ; fome refer it 
to the time of Queen Elizabeth k , when flie was detained in 
prifon : it began with purle and footing, and afterwards to bone- 
lace, now made in good perfection in Buckinghamshire. 

Then feveral forts of lace came into England, raifed-point, 
point of Venice, Colbertine, and Flanders lace, all according to 
the feveral inclinations and factions of parties, as the people in- 
clined either to the French or Spaniard. P. 2399. 

Afterwards thefe fort of matters " were efteemed fo great a 
" rarity, that pedlars carried them in bags at their backs, and got 
" money at great mens houfes," (ibid.) by felling gimp-lace and 
garters with the word " Jerufalem" upon them, and fo gained 
the money which children and fervants had otherwife beftowed 
in apples and oranges, caufing their learning to overcome their 
appetites. 

The Ladies firft began, as I faid, the marking of their linen; 
then " it was pradlifed by the working goldfmiths," who made 

« Re-printed in Dodflcy's Colle&ion of Old flays, vo). I. 
k Mr. Granger's charafter of this queen (vol. I. p. :8i.) is curious 
and judicious. 

Vol. II. P uf- 



66 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

ufe of it for the fecurity of their plate ; afterwards " pewter 
" came to be marked, and copper to be engraved. We have a 
" dark ftory of it in fome Authors j but I fliall enlarge upon 
" this fubjeft." P. 2400. 
, I mould tire you, Madam, fhould I tell you all my collections. 

" I have fpecimens of threads of all forts, as well of thofe 
" ufed in foreign countries as in England," p. 2407. So button- 
makers have patterns of all buttons, from the bignefs of thofe 
upon cloaks and Punch's doublet, to the fmalleft upon a Dutch- 
man's waiftcoat. 

i( Then ivajbing mall be handled in all its feveral ages and 
" times ; alfo the form and fize of folding, fewirig, and ironing 
" of linen, in feveral countries," p. 2401. 

I have feveral fpecimens of knot-works, p. 2408. 

I have a large collection of quilted balls. 

I have the devices, rcbufes, figns, effigies, marks, and epi- 
taphs, (p. 2409,) of all the fhop-keepers in the Old and New-Ex- 
change ; together with the rife and metamorphofis of Salifbury 
Change ; the various fate of Exeter Change, and feveral other 
places, as Pater Nofter Row, Ludgate Hill, &c. 

I was very much concerned " to fatisfy my curiofity" about 
the " ftatue" of a lady that I heard had killed herfelf with work- 
ing '. " This very much ran in my mind, to be farther fatisfied 
" that it was in Weftminfter, and not at St. Catharines. So my 
" friend Mrs. Betty Clavel and I, upon the 23d of October, 
" 1706, (the clay I ihall never forget) took boat for Weftruin- 
" fter." When we came there, we found an old man who " was 
" Church-keeper, or, as we call it, a Sexton, for fo the word 
" hgnifies both in the German and Dutch language; this gave 
" me much fatis faction," p. 2401 — 2404. But he knew little of 
the matter. Then a maid profered to ihew me the Parliament 
houfe : I, thinking it might be there, went with her, but , to Very 
little purpofe. After " having gratified the maid for her trouble, 
" we addrefied ourfelves to an old gardener, that was at work 
u in the College-garden ; for Mrs. Bullord had enquired of him. 
" when we fir ft came into the garden, whether he knew any 
" thing of fuch a ftatue ; and he readily told her he could ihew 
" her it," p. 2404. We found the ftatue amongft the tombs, as 

1 Lndy Elizabeth RuR'el. The flory has no other foundation than a 
mifap^rehenfionof the ftatuary's dellgn. 

3. . fi\\\ns 



ESSAY ON SAMPLERS. 67 

fitting upon a marble, and extending her hand, and one finger 
more particularly, in which me was wounded. This, through 
concern and indignation, made me break forth into the following 
verfes : 

" Who could believe that a fine needle's fmart 
" Should f ora a finger pierce a virgin's heart j 
" That, from an orifice fo very fmall, 
" The fpirits and the vital blood mould fall ? 
" Strephon and Phaon, I'll be judg'd by you, 
" If more than this has not been found too true. 
" From fmaller darts, much greater wounds arife, 
" When fhot by Cynthia's or by Laura's eyes." 
We returned home with extreme fatis faction, but fomething 
weary ; as you may chance to be, unlefs I conclude, and defer the 
reft to another time. I am, upon all occafions, yours, &c. 



N°II. 
Some Natural Observations, made in the School 
of Llandwwfwrhwy. By R. P. durino- his 
Reiidence there m . 

S I R ' Llandwwfwrhwy, March 1, 1708. 

CjEEING your papers communicated to the publick, in the 
VJ moft ingenious " Transactions" of the Royal Society ; and 
being fired, I hope, or rather prefume, with a defire and ex- 
pectation of equal glory ; I recolletled that faying of Mr. Cowley, 
" Tentanda via eft, qua me quoque poffim Tollere humo." And 
thence, upon fcrious recolleftion of paft accidents of my life, I 
drought it might not be unufeful to pofterity, nor to mankind 
at prefent, to give an account of what has happened to me, fince 
I firft came to be a fchool-mafter. 

In the memorable year 1688, being an hundred years after 
the " Spanifli invafion," and twenty years before this prefent 
year— as may appear by the moft exaft calculation— a perfon, 

"» " Some Natural Obfervations made in the Pari/hes of Kinardfey and 
« Donington, in Flint/hire, by the Rev. Mr. George Plaxton," are in 
Phil. Tranf. April 1707, vol, XXVI. p. 241 S. 

F 2 whofo 



tS USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

whofe goodnefs is greater than my defcrts, preferred me to the 
fchool of LlanJ-wwJhjvrbivj. At my coming to the town, I 
found perfons of all forts and fexes; men, women, and children. 
And that day (as I lhall always remember) there was a woman 
brought to bed of feven live children, which, dying foon after, 
were put into a tray, being half boys, and half girls, viz. three 
bovs and three girls, and one hermaphrodite. I coulJ not but 
wonder how perfons fhould be fo prolific in fo barren a place; 
for the town was furrounded with large mountains, nor did yo-.'. 
" come into it any way upon arable land," p. 2418. For there i, 
but one war to the town or parifh, and that was not convenient 
for a coach and fix horfes to turn in. This is all exprelied in the 
very name of Llandwwf-wrhwy ; for W is fignificant of a moun- 
tain, and the more W's there are in a town's name, the more 
mountains about it, p. 2419. Now there are few towns in Wales 
without a W. The name of the very country itfclf beginning with 
it, lhews it to be the predominant letter of the nation. Now M r , 
in this town's name, being four times multiplied into itfclf, pro- 
duces W four, or the fourth power of the root IV ; which is equal 
to W mountains quadratieally multiplied into /^mountains, which 
make a power of mountains. 

The word Lien is the fame that the Scots and Irifli pronounce 
Clan, which fignifics a companv of people of the fame lineage ; 
£!h1 indeed I found in this town, not only all of them akin each 
to the otlur, but likevvife to all Welshmen belides ; and, which 
molt furprized me, as they faid, were all gentlemen. The word 
Dwwf'n not unlike in found and bonification to the Englifh 
word Tuff, Rt'ff, Gruff. The word Rwirvy is likcwik the fame 
35 the Englifh word crooked or aivry. So that, the pedigree of 
the name of Llandiuivfr-uukivy being thus explained, it appears to 
he a town encompailed with mountains, with a rough crooked 
way leading to it. 

Thefe mountains " feem to be nothing elfe," p. 2419, but 2 
compolition of fuch hard, rocky, marmorcous, flinty, lapideous, 
itony, fcopulous, torrcy, cretaceous, obdurate, petri factor v, in- 
tractable, inciiilbluble, and, in a word, mountainous matter, as the 
Deluge could not carry away, nor the rains for many infinite 
numbers of years, although *'' gutta cavat lapidem," be able to 
penetrate, nor indeed caufe fuch an impreffion upon them as they 
might become fit for ploughing or palturage. 

6 Now, 



THE WELSH SCHOO L-M ASTER. 69 

Now, fpeaking of mountains, I cannot but take notice, that 
amonglt them is a fort of animal, that is neither flieep nor cow, 
Lut ferves the inhabitants inftead of both : it is endued with 
gravity, and bearded like a Philofopher from its infancy ; its 
favour is of the ranked, and its manners inclined to voluptuouf- 
nefs ; it afcends thofe mountains with great facility, without any 
help of flairs or ladder, even to the utmofl fummit, where its 
owner dares not follow, and a telefcope is wanting to furvey its 
proportion : it is very moderate in its diet, and lives upon much 
lefs then a maid and a cat at board-wages ; fo that in that point i 
can compare it to nothing but a hackney horfe, that is left to feed 
upon rack-ftaves, or fome of my acquaintance and yours that 
will flea a flint upon any occafion. The fides of fome of thefe 
mountains are not impervious by art, (ibid.) with fuch inflru- 
ments as pickaxes, maundriils, fledges, iron crows, fpades, and fuch 
like things. Within the veins lies a bituminous, fulphureous, and 
opake fort of brittle ftone,combuitible, inflammable ; which, being 
carried firflin wheelbarrows, and afterwards in carts to the town, is 
by the inhabitants called pit-coal, with which the mofl induflrious 
young gentlewomen of the family generally make a fire, which 
ferves for many ufes, as warming their fingers in winter, brewr 
ing their ale, feldom for wafhing their linen, fometimes for wait- 
ing their nofes, but daily for toafling their cheefe. Wood fag- 
gots are fcarcer here than at Bath or Northampton. I have feen 
fome fruit-trees in the adjoining vallies, particularly one, whofc 
delicioufnefs is protected with many pungent excrefcences s and its 
fruit is black when it is red, and red when it is green. There 
are feveral trees of above a foot high, which bear a plumb called 
drumnvbj/Jdjtb, almofl as good, if not the fame, as you and the 
North-Britons call a floe, or a flee. Alhes, elms, oaks, and crab- 
trees, we have none ; fo that we have no conveniency of a gallows 
nearer than Chefler. As for our grafs, it is as long as that upon 
any of your heaths whatfoevcr ; and for our hay, it is juil enough 
to frighten a fat ox, " dry up a milch cow, and ftarve a horfe," 
p. 2420. 

One thing I mufl further obferve to you, that within the parifh, 
about half a mile from the church, is a pretty farm, called 
Llandavie, where formerly St. David's anceflors lived; it is com- 
poled of fand, broken flones, gravel, and rubbifh, brought, as wc 
may fuppofe, from the neighbouring hill. The ancient edifice 
F 3 confifls 



7<5 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

confifts of one large room, in which there is an alcove, or an 
apartment for the gentry, divided by feveral furze faggots from 
the offices, where ufually lodge a poney, a cow and calf, and two 
milch goats, when they are fo civil to come home for calling for ; 
the whole " farm is a thoufand nine hundred yards in compafs, 
." and fixteen, eighteen, and twenty yards in breadth : it is fcarce 
" conceiveable how confulcrable a rent it yields the Lord Ap 
" Noah, whofe anceflors purchafed it from the Lord Ap Me- 
" thufalcm," p. 2420. 

But to come properly to my own habitation ; in the fchool of 
which, next under her Majefty, I am fupreme head and governor. 
It was built, or rather hewed out of a rock, by F-ayner, alias 
Morgan Dha, that is, the good Morgan, in the days, and by the 
command, of the patriarch Enoch Dha. All the damage it 
fuflained by the Flood was contracting fome damp ; but Japhet, 
knowing what Wales was, fent his eldeft fon Price Ap Japhet, 
who, coming there, endowed the fchool with twenty chauldron of 
coals yearly, which noble benefaction does, or at leaft fhould, itill 
continue. Since the Flood, there have been four hundred fixty-fix, 
and I am the four hundred fixty-feventh mailer ; before the Flood, 
they living long, there were but two, Rice Ap Evan Dha the 
good, and Davie Ap Shones Gonnah, or the naught, in whofe 
time the Flood came ; fo that, by adding two to 467, if I am 
not miftaken, I am the 469th mafter from Reyner, alias Morgan 
Dha, the founder — and God blefs him, and Rice Ap Japhet 
too! 

When I came to the fchool, I found but four that could read 
without book, and never a one but one that could write; and he 
could r.ot write neither, for he had neither pen, ink, nor paper, 
nor his father before him. But I and my ufher, who is my wife, 
by great induftrv, encreafed my fchool to fix, all the mod: con- 
siderable pcrfons of the parifh fending their Ions and daughters to 
us : fo that then I had two that could read, four that could not 
read, and never a one that could write ; and, by the mathematicks, 
it is eafy to calculate how much they improved. It is remark- 
able, 1 had never a fcholar under two years old, nor any much 
more than thirty, though 1 have in other places known feveral 
that have been upwards of forty. As my fcholars were preferred 
■to fhoes and ftockings, they went off; " fo that, as I remember," 
p. 2421, at one triennial vitiution of the Bifhop, the fchoolmaiicr 



THE WELSH SCHOOL-MASTER. 71 

of Llandwwfwrhwy being called, and alked by the Bifhop how 
many fcholars he had ; I anfvvercd, " I had none ; for, by great 
*' induftry, I had fo accompli flied them, that their parents, by my 
" advice, according to their capacities, had thought fit to provide 
" well for them in the bordering counties, fome to feed fheep, 
" and fome to ileal them." 

Near this town is the fined garden in the world ; for it is the 
moil productive of leeks, and thofe the moil redolent. It is the 
antient garden of St. David, from whence he took, the victorious 
leeks with which his foldiers were crowned this day j it is en- 
clofed with a natural ftone wall, p. 2422, upon which is this 
inscription : 

Dwyth Llivydd Dvoynnyth, 
Lhvyd D-zvyth Whynnyth, 
IVhynnyth Llivyd Whyn, 
Lhvyd, Whynnyth G-zvynn, 
Gavynn D<wynnyth Whyih 
Whynnyth Lhvyd Divyth. 
It is cbfervable, that, in this infeription, there are but eioht 
letters ; but each of them, by the different placing of words, is 
fignificant of feveral things : from which I think it is plainly de- 
monuxable, that in St. David's time the Welih had only thefe 
eight letters, D, G, H, L, N, T, W, Y, one of which letters, viz. 
B, is generally faid to be no letter, fo that we cannot pofitively 
affirm thefe eight letters to be more than feven ; and that the reft 
have been added unneceiTarily, by the fuperfluity and luxuriouf- 
nftfs of after-ages, to exprefs fuch habits, diet, and utenfils, as were 
unknown to the antient Britons. I think I may not have injured 
them by the following tranflation : 

" Come, Britons, come, and each receive 
" Such verdant Leek as tempted Eve ; 
" Tranfplanted here from paradife, 
" 'Twill fafely make ye brave and wifej 
** 'Tis with this fcent we will oppofe 
" The fweetnefs of the Englifh rofe." 
I defign you a fecond Letter. In the mean time, " Vale, vir 
" doftilTime ; et Societatem fummam qua decet obfervantiu meo 
*• nomine faluta. Tuus per omncs jafus, 

" R. P." 

F 4 N» III. 



72 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

N«> III. 

An Essay, proving, by Arguments Philofophical, 
that Millers, though falfely fo reputed, yet in 
reality are not Thieves ; w th an intervening 
Argument that Taylors likewile are not fo. In 
a Letter to Dr. Harborough, from Dr. 
Williams. 

SIR, 

IK NO W you to be a perfon of great ingenuity and candour, 
which are always averfe to fcandal and ill-nature ; and there- 
fore would be willing to have matters fet right, which might any 
ways reflect upon your neighbours. I fhall endeavour, though 
not fo fully as I intend hereafter, to fet the reputation of millers 
in a true light, and to fliew that the common notion people have 
of their being thieves does not proceed from any innate ill prin- 
ciples of the miller 's morality, quateniis miller $ but from the in- 
advertency or ignorance that the world has hitherto had of Phi- 
lofophical experiments. But, to fhew you the cenforioufnefs of 
the age in a parallel cafe, there was a gentleman of fome dignity 
began to complain that his taylor had cheated him of almoft half 
a yard of cloth in making his gown. I was very forry to rind 
any gentleman fo uncharitable ; and told him, " that he might 
" not poffibly bt acquainted with the timiditous, contractive, 
u and fhrinkative qualities of cloth, from its firit conflitution : 
*' for every one knows that cloth from the weavers is about 
** twice as broad as the fame cloth when it comes from the fullers, 
*' for there it is put into a place where it is pounded as the Phi- 
" lofopher was by the tyrant in his mortar : this creates in it a 
" natural averfion to all things that may conduce to its torment. 
" Then it is hung upon the rack ; and, bv tenters, crueller than 
" what Regulus endured, is ftretched to its utmoft limits, and 
" then fcarified with the cruel prickles of the moft piercing 
" teazles." I defued to know, u if this were not fufficient to 
'' occafion flrange horror of pain. Then is the fame cloth often 
" immerfed in cauldrons of the moft naufeous and fcakling 
u liquors. Nor does dying t^ere content its enemies, who throw 



MILLERS NO THIEVES. 7J 

.** it into The Thames, or fome other raging flood ; and there, 
f* by vaft poles, with ponderous lead annexed, plunge it into die 
** ftream, till the very waters themfelves look black, blue, and 
" red, upon fuch difmal occafions. But, after all, when it is 
" preiTed under the heavieft weights, a puniflv.nent thought fit- 
f* ring by the Britifli laws only to be inflicted upon the mod 
." obflinate of criminals, it cannot but for the future have a dread 
" of all things that may procure its affliction." Then I began to 
open to him the feveral caufes of flirinking : as, firft, " That 
" it might be occafioned by wetting, of which there are many 
" inftances in the treatifes of humidity : then it might, on the 
" contrary, be caufed by fire, as we may fee daily in bay and 
." laurel leaves, which, firft contracting themfelves in the flames, 
" at laft burft forth with a bomhardous fort of report ; as like- 
" wife in parchment, and more particularly in a Book preferved 
" out of the Fire of London, where the letters remain legible, 
f* the former being fmall by making the heft of their way, and 
f* the reft diminished in proportion, according to the hafte they 
" could make after them. Nay, this fort may likewife proceed 
" from the want of heat, as in old men and women ; and this is 
f properly called Jbriveling. Then flirinking may be for fear : 
" this fome Authors denote by Jbriuking anxay,Jlinhing aivay ; 
" but my Manufcript, which is an exact copy of a Gloffary out 
" of the Duke of Burgundy's Library, has it now plainly running 
." a-ivay, of which the French have given many inftances, at 
" Blenheim, Ramillies, The Scheld, Bruilels, and feveral other 
" places. This may very feafonably be ufed by rational creatures, 
" to avoid a blow ; when we fee the inanimate ufe it upon a 
" touch of the fingers, of which the fenfitive-plant is a fufficicne 
" demonstration. Then there is a flirinking of the finews, either 
" by a j'pa/mus, which is a convullive crampation of the part ; 
" or elfe by a total breach of the nerve, as in the firings of a 
" mufical inftrument, which, being cracked in the middle, each 
" part retires with great precipitation." Then I ftiewed him, 
" How cloth had endured moifture, fire, water, blows innumer- 
" able, preiTures, extenfion, convulfion, contraftion, and indeed 
" every thing that was tenible : from whence I concluded, that 
" I could not but believe that the boldeft of materials, much 
" more cloth, after fuch hard ufage at the formidable approach 
P of a taylor's large pair of flieers, would be apt to rctrocede, ter- 

" giverfe, 



74 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

". giverfe, or contract itielf; and that, immediately upon the 

*' intervening of the flieers, this would he done hy both fides 

" of the cloth fo difmally feparated ; and that thefe contrac- 

" tions or fhrinkings would happen not once only, but often, 

** upon various incifions of the fame garment. This fort of 

,s terror the Latins exprefs by co'it panma, an admirable word, 

" which denotes all manner of cohefion, congreffion, coition, 

" coagulation, contraction, and fuch like ; not as if the two 

" pieces of cloth came together again, as worms and fnakes and 

" other reptiles may do, if feparated, but that each part, upon 

" the divifion of the whole, fhould fo contract itfelf into rtfelf, 

" as not to let the feveral parts, if nicely meafured, retain the 

" fame extenfion or longitude that they had in the whole piece." 

I difcourfed to him, " How, after all, it was to endure the 

**. fevered punctures of needles, which muft neccflarily caufe its 

" further contraction." I difcourfed to him of " the nature of 

*' turnings-in and hemmings, of flay-tape, ftiffening, and gro- 

** gram; of the cruel incifions it was to endure, for pockets and 

" button-holes j how it muft farther bear the fcorching of hot 

" fearing-wax, and muft bear the preffure, heat and hiffing, of a 

" large iron goofe when over-roafted." I therefore told him, 

" That, for thefe various reafons, no wonder if his cloth might 

" have contracted itfelf for about half a yard." I reminded him, 

" That he was a fcholaTj that he ought to recollect how his 

" Greek and Latin verbs contract themfelves ; which was ob- 

u vious to him, though ahfolutcly unknown to his taylor." I 

defired him, '* at leaft to fufpend his cenfure till the publica- 

" tion of my Treatifes againft the Vulgar Errors, " That Cats 

" have Nine Lives," and " That Nine iaylors make but One 

" man ■," wherein I fhall evidently fliew that nine taylors arc 

" nine men, and deduce this from the ferjeants rolls, the books 

*{ of honeft agents, authentic and undoubted muftcrs, and from 

" advertifements, where more guineas are profered to bring any 

** one of them to Young Man's Coffee-houfe, than is propofed 

" for the reduction of a loft gelding or a lap-dog." He promifed 

me at laft to do it ; fince I fhewed him, " that it would be 

"highly injurious, when Philosophical experiments feemed to 

" evince the contrary, to caft the blemifti of a fault upon a 

«' Society, that has one of the rnoft noble Halls in London, and 

« whole 



MILLERS NO THIEVES. 75 

" whofe midery is as ancient as mankind's original parents." 
But how far have 1 wandered ! I am afraid that I have made my 
porch fo big, that my houfe may go through it. 

Before any one pretends to judge of the honedy and veracity 
of a milhr, it were proper that he fliould ftudy Experimental 
Philofophy and the Cartefian hypothefis of atoms, together with 
the nature of vibration, rarefaction, and motion, and to have fo 
far a knowledge in opticks as to make ufe of a magnifying-glafs, 
and to read carefully all Mr. Lcewenhoeck's obfervations. All 
this millers mould likewife do, for their own judification, when 
they have leifure time from their honed calling. Let us fuppofe 
now a bufliel of corn to be carried to the mill. Alas ! what can 
in reafon at mod be expected back again, if it were wholly left to 
nature, and were not preferved by the carefulnefs of the miller ? 
We all know that the hue flour is inclofed in a thick hulk ; and 
this hulk being broken by the mill-dones, the flour iffues fortli 
by fuch attrition. It is the nature of every thing, to rejoice in 
liberty : when they are loofeel, the particles make the bed of 
their way by a quick vibration, moving to lomething on which 
they may fettle, but far enough from the bran in which they were 
heretofore prifoners, although fuch flight generally tends to their 
own lofs and dedruilion ; and hence there is no fpace in the mill, 
in which fome or other do not take up their refidence : which is 
an ocular demondration, that it is the wantonnefs and perverfe- 
nefs of the flour, more than the fraud of the miller, which at the 
return makes the corn, as to its weight, oftentimes prove very 
deficient. I have always obferved, how thefe impetuous atoms 
leize upon the cloaths, hands, face, and hair, of the miller, fo as 
indeed to render him a ghaflly fpedtacle ; and I have been fo far 
from thinking that the miller took the corn, that I have been more 
afraid led the corn fliould deal the ?niller, eipecially confulering 
the fury and rapacioufhefs of thofe animals, as I Ihew hereafter. 
The Latins, though no great Experimental Philofophers, were 
fenfible of this ; and therefore called their fined flpur pollen, 
from the Greek ■cr^W.w, to fignify the quicknefs of its vibration. 
And indeed this vibration gathers flrcngth, not only from the in- 
nate heat of the corn, but from that which it acquires by the 
mill, which often proves fo hot that it breaks forth into flames of 
its own generation. Now, if we think how much the corn mud 
exhale and evaporate, eipecially being in fuch a fweat as it often 

is, 



■j6 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

is, end its pores open, we mult confefs that it rnuft decreafe in 
weight according to the proportion of its exhalation, which is 
fometimes exorbitant. Now all this allowance mult be made in 
j unification of the miller ; for, if the corn will perjpire, it is not 
in his power to help it. There has been a great diipute amongft 
the Latin criticks, whether meta was the upper mill-ilone, and 
catinus the lower (and indeed it was a very woithy controverfy) : 
but at laft the caufe was given againft 1'aulus the Lawyer; and 
Scaliger and his party gained the day, that catinus was the lower 
mill-flone. Their reafon feems to be irrefragable, from the 
name that it bears from its filching quality, being fuch a fort of 
thing as will have a lick, if it knows of any thing good that is 
furring. Now it were unjuft to charge all that upon the miller 
which the nether mill-ftone has taken; but prejudice will do any 
tiling, and catinus may fteal when the miller's horfe may not 
look over the hedge. Nor is it in the power of the miller to re- 
itrain fo many millions of unruly animals as there are in a bufhel 
of corn when ground : iome of them are winged like griffins, and 
fly up to the roof immediately ; fome hang by the walls like cats, 
whilft others lie upon the ground in the fliape of hideous ferpents. 
All this is perceiveable by glaffes, which mew us likewife what 
animals crawl upon the backs even of thofe animals. This, well 
thought of, would terrify fuch a beau as the Lord Foppington, to 
find, at the powdering of his perriwig, what a hideous number of 
monfters he bears about him. We mould therefore pity, rather 
than reproach, the poor miller under fuch doleful circumftances. 
I would here rectify one grand mifrake, which we have received 
from the Latins ; who, I confefs, tax the perfons who ground 
their corn with being thieves : but, alack ! they were not in the 
leaft regard like our millers ; for they ground with a hand-miil, 
and, being flaves, were kept to very ihort allowance ; and fo, 
when opportunity ferved, would pilfer for their belly. But that 
is far from any refemblance with our millers, who are fome of 
the ableft men in the parifh, and, by the help of wind or water, 
grind in large quantities, and are fo far from being thieves them- 
felves, that they keep a dog (whole name, according to the fong, 
is Bangor) to lie at the mill-door, and lee that all is under fafe 
cuftody, as far as the foregoing operations of nature will permit. 
Thefe ftudies would likewife not be unufeful to meal-met/ and 
bakers, who generally lie under great imputations ; for the latter 

of 



MILLERS NO THIEVES. 77 

of which, it is Cud that our laws firft contrived the pillory. But 
I hope, in time, Innocence may be defended by a more ftrict in- 
quiry into Nature. In the mean while, be affured that I cm, &c. 



N° IV. and V. 

An Account of BOOKS: in Letters to Dr. 
Littlebrand. By Dr. Playford. 

N° IV. 
An Account of Meursius's Treatifc of the Grecian 

Da.VClS. 

HONOURED SIR, 
T HAVE lately received two Books from Holland, which I 
-I have been long inquiring for, and at laft coil me no incon- 
liderable price. They are two Works of Meurfms. The firfl 
contains the feveral forts of « Greek Dances," which wonderfully 
llluftrate the Grecian ftoiy, and lets us conlidcrably into the poli- 
ticks of thole times, and the various occurrences of human life, 
fo as we may be the better able to direft our own for the future! 
I Stall g^Ye you only a ftort fpecimen of them ; for I defen with 
all fpeed to get a focicty of Dancing-mailers, both French and 
Englift, and lo to (hew that harmony which appears in our anci- 
ent and modern dances. We have indeed of late years made fume 
efforts to defenbe our French and country dances,' by books pub- 
lifted with inftruflions for the fame : but, alas ! we "are not come 
up to other nations , though we had long a^o a fufficient exam- 
ple j for, m the year .604, Carfare Negri, a Milanele, and, as he 
ftylcs himfclf, a famous and excellent prcfe'Jbr of the art of con- 
triving balls for courtiers and ladies, has not only printed their 
performers names in a beautiful folio, but has given a plain de- 
fcnption of the dance, with its feveral varieties and cuts of the 
cavers perfonages neceilary to the performance. Ainomr the ref< 
'° me tur a man and c «° women, others for a woman and two* 
men"; which dances I look upon to be very proper to be ufed 
r ' See p. : : 7> of Xe S ii\ faltatrical publication. 

by 



7 S USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

by our bride-maids and bride-men, and may be introduced to good 
purpofe at our country nuptials, and, for any thing I know, be as 
fignificant cuftoms as untying the garters and throwing the 
flocking. 

But to give you a tafte of the great Meurfius. I find his chiro- 
nomia to be in uie amongft us in various particulars ; it is that 
motion in a dance, which makes tire hands bear a correspondence 
with the feet, and both complete zfaltatrical, or, as I may call it, 
a dancitive fort of geflure. The learned Hadrianus Junius 
takes notice of the fait alio chironomica ; which our beft criticks 
interpret of morris-dancing, where the tofs of the handkerchief 
and extenfion of the hands give a graceful turn to the whole per- 
formance. I know fome derive the word morris-dance as if it 
were a Mcrifco or Mooriih dance ; and think it brought into 
England by thofe Emhailadors that King John fent to Miramo- 
malim, Emperor of Morocco, when he profered to turn Maho- 
metan, if affiftance were granted to him againft his Barons. 
Others carry it up as far as the Emperor Maui ice, who was killed 
by Phocas, who fet up Popery about the year 600 : but I doubt 
not but I lhall prove it much more ancient. The ckironomia, as 
Uefcribed by the old Scholiafts, is exactly like the found made 
by our young ladies with their cafianets, the crepitacula, or the 
Jijlra of the Phrygians and ^Egyptians ; and therefore I (hall make 
no fcruple to fay, that the ckironomia is moft properly reprefented 
bv our prefent faraband, which, though brought to us from 
Spain, and prattifed there by the Moors, yet was undoubtedly 
taken up by them from the Greeks, upon the Saracens over- 
running the Eaftern Empire. Here I cannot but obfervc the 
great miftake of all learned Dancing-mafters, who write the word 
cajianets, whereas it ought to be written chejien-nuts, as plainly 
appears by Bilhop Cooper's " Dictionary °." The colour and 

figure 

Thomas Cooper, born at Oxford, 1 5 17 ; fellow of Magdalen College, 
1540. When queen Mary came to the crown, he applied himfelf to 
phyfick, being fecretly inclined to the Proteftant religion : but on her 
death returned to divinity j took his Doctor's degree in March, 1566-7,, 
and was about that time made dean of Chrilt Church j in 1569, dean of 
Gloucefter ; and next year bifhop of Lincoln. In 1 5S4, he was tranflated 
to Winchester; and, Nov. 17, 1588, preached a fermon at Paul's Crofs, 
on the defeat of the Spaniih armada. He died at Winchester, April 29, 
4594. His «« Theiaurus Linguae Romans & Biitannicae, £<c. — Acceflit 

'.' Difticnauum 



GRECIANDANCES. 79 

figure of the prefent inftrument is not unlike what we vulgarly 
call cheft-nuts, and the found is very agreeable to that of a nut- 
cracker, or that of a cat's tread when her feet are pinched in 
walnut-fhells, and might keep time with the fnap of a barber's 
fingers, though at prefent they, turning themfelves to perriwig- 
making, have forgot their cittern P and their mufick — I had almoft 
faid, to the fhame of their profefiion. 

Mcurfius has many beautiful defcriptions, when he comes to 
the tetragonoi, the tetragrammoi, and the tetvacoloi of the Gre- 
cians. Thefe, confiding all of the number four, compofed what 
we call country dances. Thefe were plain at firft ; but, about 
the time of Alcibiades, as luxury increafed, they had more than 
two couple, and about that time brought in cajling-off, and the 
additional chiromania, or clapping of hands, fometimes with their 
own partner, and fometimes with another, fo as to keep an equal 
time with the mufick. The number of thefe is almoft infinite : 
but I ftay only for a new Edition of the ^voluminous Euftathius 
upon Homer ; and then I will proceed to make their parallel 
with " Green Sleeves," " Health to Betty," " Parfon upon Do- 
" rothy," " Cold and Raw," and many others, for which I hope 
to have the learned world's affiftance. 

He gives us an account of a very hard dance, if my Manu- 
fcript has it right, called pfalchadai -, which, confifting of the 
variety of motion by three perfons, mufl: have been the kayes, or 
fomething refembling it. I fhall prove that dance very ancient, 
from the Furies, the Graces, and from Nature itfelf, when the 
Sun, Moon, and Earth make an eclipfe, as is excellently fet forth 
in that admirable fyftem of Philofopliv, " The Rchearfal 1." 

In the time of Pericles, when Athens flourifhed in buildings, 
mufick, comedies, and all forts of delight and pleafure with 
the grcateft freedom, the nobleft perfonages, being fond of the 
wile Aipafia, whole found philofophy and refervednefs kept them 
at a diftance, invented the dances called ormoi, by us kffing- 

" Dittionarium Hiftoricum & Posticum, Sec." folio, printed in 1565, v.«s 
fj mui.li eflcemcd by queen Elizabeth, that lhe endeavoured to promote the 
author for it in the church as high as /he could : Bp. Gibfon had a lefs 
favourable opinion of it. He was alfo the author of many other works. 

P Or uibtrn, from ciibara, a kind of harp. This was formerly part of 
the furniture of every Barber's Shop. See Sir John Hawkins's Notes on 
" Walton's Complete Angler," Svo, 1766, p. 236. 

1 A well-known comidy, by the Duk*- of Buckingham, 

dances .- 



to USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

dances : thev had a brifk motion, which caufed a great enlivcn- 
ing of the faculties, and elevating of the fpirits j fo that kilTet 
then taken feemed to be out of rapture and cxtafv, more than 
out of the contrivance and defign that was laid for them. But 
thefe dances had not the univerfal vogue for above four Olym- 
piads, which was about fixteen years j for this happinefs, as all 
others, had an inconvenience to attend it : for, if ihe ormoi were 
propofed, prefently the old toothleis grandmother, the long- 
nofed mother, the fquinting freckled eldeit filler, would be for 
putting in for part of fo good an entertainment : fo that Xan- 
tippus, who firft began to difcourage them, was pleafed to lav, 
" That, upon fuch occafions, what fecmed to be gained by the 
«' penny, was really loft in the pound." 

You know my friend Bandorcuifius, who has written that 
excellent Treatilc of European Ornaments, and has admirably 
confuted Cravatefius and Ruffclius in many particulars. I here 
defire his opinion, to know whether the thurocopicon of the Epirots 
and Thracians, may not have been the fame as " Buffcoat has 
*' no Fellow ;" which is a dance no where can be pra&ifcd fo 
well as by the Train-bands of London and Weuminfter, and the 
Artillery-company in particular. 

The nymphai was taken from the Shepherds and Nymphs of 
Arcadia ; the dance was fomething rompiih, and kept every 
perfon almoft in motion. With us it is called " The God- 
" delTes :" but, when the graver perfons, fuch as Ceres, Vefta, 
Diana, came in, it was altered as to many of the meafures, and 
had the name of " Sage Leaves," which may even now be cal- 
led for by the mod legate peifon of the family. 

It would require a large folio, to defcribe the morphafmoi in 
all its particulars. It was fomctimes a total change of lhape, as 
in Pofture Clark r ; fometimes it reprefented the features and 
actions of other perfons, as in our modern Scaramouches and 
Harlequins ; fometimes they only difguifed themfelves by an 
unufual habit, not only" diverting the publick in the theatre, but 
very ofcen their private neighbours, with what we call mafquc- 
rading The Greeks had, upon this account, their ccpha projepa, 
their dumb (hews, which was action, though no voice ; as our 
modern Opera's have voice and no fenfe. Thefe we properly 
Ihould call muiiimett ; from whence we have changed the word 

r See above, p. 18. 

mumlbners, 



GRECIAN DANCES. Si 

mut/htlmers, mumper?, mummers. This comes from the Latin 
word muttum, as, Cornutus has it : ne viuttum unum omiferis ; 
ne Mu quidem, -vel Mut feceris ; " not a word;" which is much 
more elegantly cxpre'ffed in our ufual phrafe, " Mum for that." 
And I take this to come to us wholly from the Latin, being 
-abfolutcly againft the opinion of Blafius Multibibus, " De Jure 
" Putaiuli;" who quotes Gripholdus Mkknackius, " Floia Cor- 
" turn Verficale," a writer, in my judgement, not authentic; and 
the large Folio of Sckieckius Rodornus (who proves High Dutch 
to have been the language of Japhet) to ihew that Mum, even, 
in this cafe, came from Brunfwick \ though I confefs, if taken 
In a convenient quantity in a morning, it will occaiion fleep as 
well as filence. 

I ihould exceed the bounds of a Letter, mould I difcourfe of 
all their magadeis, or minuet, of their cordaxes, being dances 
defcribed both by Hefychius and Cicero, as exactly correfpending 
with our jig, as moving moft to the numbers of trochees and 
tribraches, noted, by the confent of all Authors, as the mod 
proper feet for cutting capers. 

You have here a fmall fketch of what Meurfius has done, to 
let us into the fecret of the Greeks : it were to be wifhed that 
Mr. Prince, Ifaac, Cavalrv, Ruel, Le Sac, L'Abadie, Siris, and 
the reft, when they teach any dances, would acquaint us with 
the Authors of them, and the reafons of their names s . This 

s Pofterity will be at no lofs for a defcription of the i'morcdee of 
Otabeitc. This dance, as we learn from the late curio'is publication of 
Dr. Hawkefworth, " is performed by young girls, whenever eight or 
" ten of them can be collected together, confirming of motions and gef- 
" tures beyond imagination wanton, in the practice of which they are 
*' brought up from their earlieft childhood, accompanied by words, which, 
" if it were polTible, would more explicitly convey the fame ideas. In 
" thefe dances they keep time with an er.aclnefs which is fcarcely ex- 
'« celled by the beft performers upon the fiajes of Europe. But the 
" practice, which is allowed 10 the virgin, is prohibited to the womju 
" from the moment that ihe has put thefe hopeful lcffor.s in practice, 
" and realized the fymbols of the dance." Yet in their fociety tailed 
Arrcty (formed of a conliderable number of the principal persons of both 
i.-<;:, am! in which every voman is common to every man) " the women, 
*' notwithftanding their occafional connexions with different men, Jane? 
" the un.r'Jtc in all its latitude, as an incitement to dtfires, which, it 
** is laid, are frequently graificd upon the fpot."' %h\s accurate defcrip- 
tion will furcly -ever need the elucidation of a Meurfus ! 

Vor. II. G will 



St USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

will undoubtedly be for the good of late pofteritv, who will be 
as curious to know all things as we are now ; and therefore, 
had we any regard to our fucceffors, we mould not let future 
ages be put to the trouble of having their great Doctors and 
Librarians puzzling themfclves with the feveral ages, names, and 
inventors, of our Britifh and Iriih dances, when fomc forty or 
fifty good printed Books or Manufcripts, rightly corrected bv a 
learned Society, might fct all things right, both at preicnt and 
hereafter. 

NoV. 

An Account of Meursius's Book of the Plays of the 
Grecian Boys. In a fecoud Letter. 

HONOURED SIR, 

I HAVE formerly given you fome account of the great 
Meurfius's Book of rt Greek Dances." I fhall now give you 
fome few but admirable remarks, out of his Treatife of the 
" Various Plays of the Grecian Boys and Girls." Nor is this 
lefs uftful than the former : it mews the natural fagacity of that 
nation from their infancy, for they had learning in their cradles ; 
not unlike to Quindtilian that excellent mafler of the Latins, 
and admirer of the Greeks, who provides even nurfes for his 
future orators. But of this more at large in a Treatife of Nurfes, 
wherein lhall be explained all their fongs, the true reafon of 
rattles and corals, of hammers, goe-carts, whirligigs and dul- 
cimers, &c. Meurfws in this feems to have done like Homer, 
who, after his Iliads, publimed his Odyffeys, comprehending in 
the laft more knowledge of nature, and examples for the manage- 
ment of human life, than were in the former, though by many 
it may for the grandeur of its images be the more admired. 

It is wonderful to confider what things great men have and do 
•mploy themleh ts in. Suetonius wrote a Book about the phys of 
the Grecian Children ; and, that being loft, Meurfius has endea- 
voured to reftore it by a Book he has published from Elzevir'i 
prefs, in which are many excellent things, from out of Athe- 
naus, Suidas, Pollux, Hefychius, Tzctzes, the admirable Eufta- 

thius. 



GRECIAN PLAYS, 8j 

thius, and others. It is concerning their private recreations ; for 
lie hail puliliflicd one before about their dancing, of which fome 
time ago I fent you an abltratt s . 

Indeed fome of the plays arc very remarkable, and very ufeful ; 
as the Ajcoliafmus, hopping upon one leg, and beating other boys 
with a leather, which the moderns call " Fox, to thy hole;" and 
requires great cunning, exercife, and patience, in the pcrfon by 
whom the fox is represented. But he has omitted the delineation 
of a pair of Hop-fcotches, with the names of their feveral apart- 
ments, which I hope to retrieve and publiih, together with the 
figure of the Hobbv-horfe that King Agtfilaus ufed to ride upon 
with his children. That of Socrates and others are all obferved 
by the ancients, and even Horace himfclf, to have been made of a 
long reed ; and therefore the Hobby -horfes introduced in " The 
" Rehearfal" arc abfurd, and without any precedent from anti- 
quity. They had likewife their collabifmos ; and fo they had their 
chyirinda, anfwerable to our " Hot-cockles," which play the 
learned Littleton r , by a fvnonymous term, calls " Selling ot pears," 
or " How many pears for a penny }" But as for the reafon of 
thofc names, that ingenious Author has left us in the dark. The 
tnu'ia calcbe, by the Latins called myiuda, by us " Blind-man's- 
" buff," was universally received amongft them, and probably 
took its beginning from that barbarous contempt which was put 
upon the divine Homer after his blindnefs. They had likewife 
their bafilinda, reprefenting our " Qucflions and commands," or 
** King 1 am :" though afterward in thefe latter ages the word 
was referred to the fport of chufing King and Queen upon Twelfth* 

s See the preceding Letter. 

t Adam Littleton was born Nov. 8, 1627 ; was educated urdcr Dr. 
Bulky at Weltminfter, and from thence elected ftudent i.f Carift Church, 
but ejected by the parliament vifitors in 1648. He was afterward ufher 
at Weltminfter; and in 1656 fecond mailer. After the Reftoration, he 
kept a fchool at Chelfea, and was admitted rector of that church in 
1674 ; the fame year he was made a prebendary of Weftminfter, and had 
a grant to fticceed Dr. Bu/hy in the mafterfliip of the fchool. He had 
been fome years before appointed king's chaplain ; and in 1670 accumu- 
lated his degrees in divinity, which were conferred upon him without 
taking any in arts, on account of his extraordinary merit. He v - as for 
fome time fub-dean of Weftminfter. He died June 30, 1694. Tlxe firft 
edition of his Dictionary was published in 1678. 

G 2 flight. 



84 USEFUL TTRANSACTIONS. 

night. But it is to be obferved, that there was no Twelfth-night 
celebrated amongft the Grecians ; by which they were deprived 
not only of plumb-cake, but of great diverfion. 

I have made it my general remark, that whereas the Englifh 
pkvys have barbarous founding names, as, " Almonds and Raifins,"' 
" Pufs in a Corner," " Barley-break," " Pufh-pin, " Chicken-a- 
u train-trow," and the like ; thofe of the Grecians feem all as 
if they were ladies in romances, as ecfujlinda, elcujlimla, chy- 
irinda, epbeJnJa, bafdinda, which feveral others. I defign to 
i'earch in the clofets of the curious, for their tops, giggs, marbles, 
trapfticks, balls, and other inftruments of their diverfion : but I 
am afraid, that, being entrufted to perfons of little forecafl, as 
youths generally are, there may few of them, through the injury 
of time, remain at prefent, though they would be of the greateft 
value. It would be very ufeful, if fome Virtuofo would put our 
childrens plays in a true light ; for, amongft other things, would 
appear their truth and juftice, in " going halves in birds nefts ;" 
their forefight and parfimony, in " hoarding apples ;" and the 
oreat benefits, as to the increafc of fecrefy, fidelity, and friend- 
ship, that may be gained by robbing of orchards, as Mr. Oiborn u , 
in the beginning of his " Advice to a Son," has extremely wel! 
obferved. 

To conclude this Difcourfe. I muft acknowledge my happi- 
nefs, who in a Manufcript found the following vcrfes. The firft 
was an Englifh Ode, very ancient, harmonious, and ufeful to ths 
publick, encouraging youth to exercife and hardfhip : 

" Boys, boys, come out to play : 

" The moon doth mine as bright as day. 

" Come with a whoop, and come with a call r 

" Come with a good will, or not at all. 

" Lofe your fupper,and lofe your flecp, 

" To come to your playmates in the ftreet." 

u Francis Oiborn, efq. His Works have been many times printed. The 
eighth edition, in Svo, 1682, under the following title : " The Works of 
" Francis Oiborn, efq. Divine, Moral, Hiflorical, Political 5 in Four 
" fevrral Tracts j viz. i» Advice to a Son, in two par f s. 2. Political 
" Ren;c"lions on the Government of the Turks 8 ;. Memoires on 

« Q^Elizabeth and K.James. 4. A Mifcellany of EfTays, Pnr-doa.es; 
u Problematical Difcourfes, Letters, Characters, &c." He v as born about 
15895 and died Feb. n ; 1638-9. 

There 



GRECIAN PLAYS. 85 

There are fome Manufcripts of this Ode, which have ir, " Boys and 
*' Girls, come out to Play." But this I wholly difallow, as not 
agreeable either to the Latin or the Greek. Befules, it would be 
very rompifh, for young lalTes to wander about by moon-light. 

The fecond was in Greek, from whence the Englifh was taken ; 
it is in the moft.fimple and anticnt Greek, com pofed in the ages 
before any other verfe but the Hexameter was in fafhion, and 
favours much of fome ancient oracle or lawgiver ; fo that I take 
it to have been at leaft as old as Orpheus or Linus, and to have 
been compofed by one of them : 

Kvixvtle, Msi<soi5;* MeiCotEj, xvpfjitls <a\onnv % 

Ki^^eIc aw «Tw, aw "Ktsou y.Vj/.^.(\t kxvXcj, 
Aevatli av7T7rvip»v, MeiCoiej, favatls @iOOov } 
Hw toi? x-OjAt-au^oiaii/ ev» f-erHtaai <mXctotli$. 
I have fet them down as they are in the Manuscript, without any 
accents; for thev are known to be of a late invention, of little ule, 
and very trouMefome. I take the Greek of them to be the more 
elegant, by how much they approach nearer to the Englh*h. 

The third is a Latin Ode, which I take to be about the age of 
Catullus — if not of that Author, before he came to reduce his 
verfes to one certain meafure, whereas here he gives himfelf a 
more Pindaric liberty : 

" Quse mora ! Nunc, pueri, currite, ludite ! 
" Jam radios ccelo difpergit Luna fereno 
" Fram- fuo non ipfa minor. 
" Quin propcrate leves, vos currite, ludite ! 
f Clamorem hortantum cupidis praevertite votis, 

" Tardius ille venit quifque vocatus adeft. 
" Quin fugite, aufugite, accurrite, ludite ! 
" Non dapibus licet, aut facili indulgere fopori ; 

" Dum fervent per compita paiTmi 
" Vox Comitum, Lufui'que, & ter refonabilis Echo." 

I expefr. my fon home from fchool next Eafter ; and then I hope 
to be furnifhed with more materials. In the njean time, believe 
me to be, Ike, 



N° VI. 



*(. USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

N» VI. 

A new Method to teach Learned Men how to 
Write Unintelligibly : being Collections out 
of Softlinius, an Italian; Bardowlius and Bardo- 
coxcombius, one Poet Laureat to King Ludd, the 
other to Queen Bonduca ; Scornfenfius an Egyp- 
tian, &c. jCommunicated by Mr. LoVEXT to 
Mr. Lac kit. 

MR. LAC K. IT came very penfively one morning to Mr. 
Loveit's clofet, entreating him, '< by all means to aflift 
" him in an affair of confequence ; for that he had refolved to 
" write a Poem, but was unwilling to lye under the lafh of the 
*' Criticks." " Nothing fo eafv," fays Mr. Loveit ; and,itcpping to 
the next lhclf, and thence reaching down a book, fays, " This is 
" the great Softlinius, an Italian Poet, who may be faid to have been 
" the Father of bong, Sonnet, Mafque, and Opera, from Petrarch 
" downwards. The words indeed fecm to be Latin ; but the lenfe 
" is un-come-at-able, unconceivable, and, as the Greeks have it, 
" acroa?natical. You may write in this ftyle without any body's 
" knowing your meaning; and it is unjuft in any perfon tocriti- 
" cize upon that which he cannot comprehend. And then many 
" of the fevereft Criticks do not underftand Latin j and I will 
" affute you, this is fuch a fort of language, ftyle, and fenfe, as 
" cannot be tranflated. Let me therefore read you one of the 
M Poet's Odes upon a Funeral, in which he imitates Catullus : 
" Herbis, Phoebe, potens ct aura cceli 

" Blandc perpetuans, rofafquc et herbas; 

" Oh folatia nunc Catulliana, 

" Direptis Zephyri faventis alis ! 

*' Opellam properate; nam rebellis 

" Mors herbas fuperabit impotentes. 

" Tu, Daphne, in Lachelin agas triumphos, 

" Aitate et Dryadeis, Oreadeifquo, 

'• Divum Floraque moilicellus ardor ; 

** Omnes lacrymula cumxnt globola, 

li Gcmmis 



THE ART OF WRITING UNINTELLIGIBLY. 87 

u Gcmmis flammcolos micant ocellos, 

" Agnofcunt Venerem mifclliorem. 

" Heu quantus dolor ! Heu Venus mifella ! 

** Heu mors pallidulum ferale nuiuen 

" Avolfit Calai'n puellulorum ; 

*' Florem, molliculas ncccile plantas, 

*' Exofi bibulum Stvgis vagari. 

"Jam Chloen nig. is tremenclus alis 

" Inclufit dolor, et gemunt gemuntur, 

" Et Chloc et Calais ; quis oh Deorum 

« Fert folatiolum Catullianum ? 

'.' Confervat duplices duplex Apollo ; 

" Hie Chloen medicus potente dextra, 

u Dum fervar, Calui'n juvat Poeta. 
" I hope this may be fufficiently to your purpofe ; but, if vou 
11 have a mind to aftorulh and confound the Criticks, you may do 
" it in your own language. I have many books turned out of, and 
" tranflated into, Pedlar's French, which is a very pretty variega- 
" tion of the Britiih idioms. But you had better have recourfe 
u to times more ancient, and pretend yourfelf to be fome Britifh, 
" Cornifh, or Armoniac Baid, and to have converfed with the 
" Manufcripts of Gogmagog and Bladud that made The Bath. 
u It is but altering a few letters, and fome terminations, and the 
" woik is done; you amufe the learned, and terrify the vulgar." 
Then, reaching down a book, fays he, " Here are the incftimable 
*' Remains of Bardoulius, Poet Laureat to King Ludd ; of Bar- 
" docoxcombius, who bore the fame dignity under Bonduca. I 
u will fhew you one, for a tafte. The afpeel: of it feems un» 
" couth at rirft, but mark the melody : 
" Eood KinT Eole, 

" 7Tn& he call's jroji his Bople, 

" Xnb he call's jiojx Fi&le^is Sj-iee ; 

" TCnb ^erie pas Fi&ole Fid&le, 

*' TCno rpice Fibble Fibole ; 

*' Foji 'spas my Laoy's Bijip-oay : 

" Dejiepofie pe Jceep Jjoly-oay, 

** TCno come to be- mejiriy. 
" Now, to let you into the fecret, it is but rectifying fome of the 
J' pot-hooks, and discarding fome fuperfluities of terminations, 
G 4 u and 



ft USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

K and the Pindaric is obvious. I have made mv Printer compofe 
f* fuch a copy of verfes many a time ■ and lie mall do it for you. 
<•' Good King Cole, 

** And he call'd for his Bowl, 

" And he call'd for Fidlers three ; 

" And there was Fiddle Fiddle, 

{• And twice Fiddle; Fiddle ; 

*' For 'twas my Lady's Birth-day: 

*' Therefore we keep Holy-day, 

" And come to be merrv. 
" This was the fame Prince that built Colechejler. Hi; right name 
" was Coil; and not the fame as fome think denominated Cole- 
" brook, for he was a worthy clothier of Reading, who many ag6s 
*f after happened to be drowned there ; of which there is a very 
"memorable hiftory, full of ufeful antiquities, for the improve- 
*' ment of the woollen manufactures w . 

" But to proceed yet further. There are fcveral that pretend 
*'" to be mighty Grecians, to have Hefiod, Mufaeus, and Homer, 
"at their fingers ends; but, alas! thev uhdefftand nothing of 
«' the moden. Creek, nor the beauties of Du Frefne's " Gloffary.'* 
•' Thefe perfons are left to be roknaged I y Coptic verfes. This, 
*< being a baftard Greek, is mixed with multitude of other lan- 
f* guages, and makes ufe of fome of the Creek characters, a little 
" deformed, and intermixed with others. The}-, having been long 
«' enflaved to t ■ Saracens, Marrialukes, and prefent Turks, have, 
" not had of late much time for learning : only there is one 
*' Scornflnfius a Poet, that has lately rifen up a'mongft them, 
<< whole Works i have here upon the table : him you may imi- 
f tate; fay what you pleafe in that language, and nobody will 
" think it worth while to confute you. By reading over of 
*' Kircher's " Prodromus Coptus," and an old door that Dr. 
f' Huntington fent from Grand Cairo, I have made ihift to put 
" fome of the fir ft lines into the Greek character : 

<l £7 Qcii-ccu, [sLoiiyu) t <9oi(>:<.u xpeij, L'^&y.i T^ofWo 

*' Na avTriVjr: /ipc-xXEJ, avSsvTfiO* Kxhtpog cmGr,^ 

I w If this cf memorable Hirtory" could be referred to, it would mod pro- 
bably be a curiofity The Hiitory of another famed Clothier oi that 
County (Ja^k of Newbury) is in print. 



THE ART OF WRITING UNINTELLIGIBLY. 89 

" "Evi ccvilaXifiK: ; •&»£{ hwmai d^uxcm hc/fag 

" Tr t tT Q&qxu, ^%\yu ; <b<x%xv xgsic, TuHpv navyu. 
" By the help of a gentleman that had converfation with the King 
" of the Gypfies, I found out that it was plain Englifh in Hexa- 
" meter verfe, fuch as you may find in Sir Philip Sidney*, and 
" fuch as were fent Ben Jonfony, beginning, 

" Benjamin, immortal Jonfon, mo ft highly renowned." 
But to explain to you the prefent Coptic verfes 5 they run 
thu s : 

u Oh, Pharao, may I go ? Pharao cries, Sir, by my troth, No. 

" Bring ye the kilderkin, and about houfe fling ve the fofTer. 

" Now fup it up briikh.-, and then pr'ythee oell for another j 

" See an it all out is ? There's none can drink any longer. 

" Teen'r, Pharaoh, may Igor Pharaoh cries, Go if you can 
"go. 
" But that language which may be of mofc ufe to you is the 
u Scr<zrvlia>:. It may pafs through as many counties as the, 
" Illyric, Malay, or Lingua Franca. This is wholly unintelligi- 
" We, and is of great eafe in the compofition of verfes ; you mult 
" take care that your lines be ftrait, and that you begin your, 

* This illuftrious ftatefman, foldier.and (cholar, was born at Penfhurft, 
Nov. 29, 15 54; was fent to Chrift Church very young, and at feventeen 
began his foreign travels. AfterdifHng jilhing himfclf ia feveral public em- 
ployments, he was knighted in i;8z j made governor of Flushing, and 
general of the horfe under his uncle Robert earl of LsiceP.er, in Otto* 
ber, 1585. His plory, though fplenaid, was but ihort-lived. He was 
defperately woundrd at ,he battle of Zutphen, Sept. 22, 1586, and died 
Odt. 16. His valour, wh'.ch was eftecmed h s rooft mining quality, was 
not exceeded by any of the heroes of that age : but even this was equalled 
by his humanity. After he had received his death's w^und, overcome 
tvith thirft from excefiive bleeding, he cal ed for drink ; which was pre- 
fcntly brought him. At the fame time a poor foldicr was carried along, 
defpiritely wounded, who fixed his eager eyes upon the bottle, juft as he 
was lifting it to his mouth j upon which, he inftantly delivered it to him, 
with thefe words, " Thy ne.efllty is yet greater than mine !" — The 
admirers of the polite arts will hear with pleafure, that th;s beautiful in- 
ftance of humanity employs at prefent the pencil of the ingenious Mr. 
Weft. 

y This excellent Poet and his Works are fo univerfally known, that 
we fhnll only here obferve, he was of Scotch extraction, was born in 1574, 
was a fhort time at St. John's College, Cambridge ; and died Aug. 6, 1637. 

" verfes, 



,o USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

" verfes with the great letters from the left (for the Orientals 
" generally write fo) ; and if you can make the feme figures to- 
u wards the la ft to fecm as if this rhimed, al! wil' be extremely 
" well ; vou may call them Turkifh, Perfic, More ccian, Fezzian, 
** or what you pleafe ; for, being without points, no one can dif- 
" prove you. I will write you fome immediately. They are veifes 
" tha: were fuppofed to be fent with fomc lions that came from. 
u Morocco : 

" This Epigram is very pretty, and the thought taken from the 
« EnglUh : 

u The lion and the unicorn fighting for the crown, 
" The lion beat the unicorn round about the town. 

u Here the imagination is moft excellently refined. By means 
*' of fuch compofitions, you may fufficiently recommend yourlelf 
" to the learned world. 

" You may fee what fuccefs fuch matters have, by the Ethiopic 
«' Epitaph z fet up for a lady who was wife to a great Virtuofo 
" in King Charles the Second's time, at the South fide of Weft- 
" minfter Abbey. People pafs over the Hebrew and the Greek a 
" with fmall expectation ; but this detains the eves, raifes the 
" thoughts, employs the admiration and wonder of the ignorant 
" as well as learned. Seeing a Blackmoor very intent upon it 
*' one day ; I afked him, What might be the fancv of it ? He 
" faid, It was very pretty, odd, but not eafilv expieffed in Englim. 
" But, as far as he could explain it, it was that the lady who 
" lay there was fair and virtuous ; but that the hulband that fur- 

z Under which is this infeription, " Anne, daughter to George Field- 
,f irg, efa. and of Mary his wife, the truly living (and as truly beloved) 
" wife of Sir Samuel Morland, knight and baronet, died Feb. 20, Ann. 
" Dom. 1679-50." Sir Samuel was mailer of the mecli3nicks to king 
Charles II. 

a There is alfo a Hebrew inscription on Lady Morland's tomb ; and 
near it is another, much in the fame tafie, to the memory of Lady 
C-rola Harfnet, vvh ■> died in childbed of her fecond fon, 0:t ro, 1674. 
On her tomb are two ihferiptions, the rirft in Hebrew, and the other in 
Gr.elc. 

M viveel 



THE ART OF WRITING UNINTELLIGIBLY. 9 i 
" vived was more virtuous than fhe. Upon which I afked him, 
« if this might not he the meaning of it, 

" The lady here might fair and 'virtuous be : 
" Her huiband's Firtuofo more than fhe ! 
« He told me, Thefe were exactly the words, only put into 
" Ethiopic characters b . 

" For abundance of fuch out-of-the-way extraneous fort of 
« Poetry, you may apply yourfelf to Kercher, who has it plenti- 
" fully before one of his Folios ; but, not having his Works by 
" me, I cannot fay exactly which. That in the lllyric language 
" is very prettily imitated in a Latin Ode ; but I hope not tranf- 
" lated exactly, for that would get an ill precedent to us whofe 
" Works will not bear it. 

" I expect fhortly fome Mufcovitic operas, fome fonnets from 
" Crim Tartary, and fome elegies from America ; which will be 
" the more eafy, becaufe thofe people have always to me feemed 
" more inclined to Traffick than Poetry. Gefner, in his " Mithri- 
a dates," give us an account, that the Elephants have a language. 
« I have fent to the Court of Siam, to know whether the white 
" Elephant keeps a Secretary or an Interpreter, and what com- 
" portions are amongft them in profe or verfe. I have a friend, 
" who converfes much with fanciful beings, who has procured 
" me many elegant works of the Fairies. According to the 
" fpecimen that Giraldus Cambrenns has given us oi their lan- 
« guage, it approaches near the Greek, as, Al Ydoratn, " Give mc 
"fait" Hydor YJoram, "Give me water:" by which it may 
" appear that the Fairies are no Devils, becaufe then they would 
« have no fait among them. And we may obferve, by this fpeci- 
" men, that their diction is extremely fonorous. 

" But I long, good Mr. Lackit, to fee what you will do"— 
But here, much company coming, the Entertainment broke off. 
This is all the account Mr. Lackit can give. 

b Job Ludolf, the writer of the " Hiflory of Ethiopia," and of an 
Ethiopic Grammar and Lexicon (who is faid to have undcrftood twenty. 
five languages), when he faw this infcrip'.ion, felt much the fame kind of 
emotion as he would have fell at the unexpected fight of a familiar friend 
in a ftrange country. Stc ihe Preface to his Ethiopic Grammar. Ludolf 
was a native of Thuringia, and had a more exatl knowledge of the Eihio- 
pic and old Alyflinian ihan any of his learned contemporaries. He died 
April S, 1704, in his 80th year. 

USEFUL 



I 9* 3 

USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

(To be continued Monthly, as they fell.) 

PART II. 

For March and April, 1709. 



PREFACE, 

IT is not doubted but, as thefe " Ufjful Tianfaclions" become 
more public, they will encourage worthy and ingenious per- 
sons to lend in fuch materials as may for the future contribute 
to the good and welfare of their native country. 

As to the prefent 4t Tranfacrions," it is to be noted, that, in 
the " Eunuch's Child," fuch a misfortune actually happened in 
England as is reported there from Italy, of a young gentlewoman, 
who has aftcd in the Plavhoufe for her diverfion, that was de- 
ceived by the appearance of a man, that is an Eunuch, who was 
ambitious of a night's lodging with her to no purpofe. The 
matter is known, both at Drury-lane and in the Hay-market. 

As for the " Difcourfe of Tongues," it were to be wiihed that 
ycrfons would be more communicative and forward to promote 
the public good. Nothing could be more ufeful than a full 
and true infpe£tion of human tongues ; and therefore it is hoped, 
.that if any peifons know themfelves to be notorious bufy-bodies, 
canters, flatterers, liars, tongue-pads, fpokefmen, rattlers, boun- 
cers, &c. they would in their wills bequeath their Tongues to 
be difleiited, and viewed by the microfcopes of the Ufeful Society, 
which would produce many wonderful phenomena. 

As to the " Migration of Cuckoo's," where mention is made 
of auguration, it is no new thing, but well known among the- 
Antients. Paufanias tells us, " That Parnaffus, a fon of the 
** Nymph Cleodora, was the inventor of it, who likewife gave 
** his name to that mountain fo celebrated by the Poets." That 

Mr. 



PREFACE TO PART II. 95 

Mr. D'Urfcy's birds (hould fccm different from thofe common 
ones that fly about, or are in cages, is no new or \vondertul 
thing; for Sir Walter Rawlegh ■-, who is an Author of un- 
doubted credit, tells us, " That the common Crow or Rook 
" of India is full of red feathers in the low Iflands of Coribai.a ; 
" and the Black-bird and Thrufh hath his feathers mixt with 
" black and carnation in the North parts of Virginia :" fo that 
red Crows and Rooks and carnation-coloured Thrufhes and 
Black- birds are no ftrangers to the other part of the world ; 
though a man would be drought to banter here, fhould he men- 
tion fuch things without fo good an authority as that of it:.- 
Walter Rawlegh b . 

* Or (as he himfelf fpelt his name) Ralegh. He was born in Devort- 
fhire, in 1552. He finifhed his ftudies at Oriel College, Oxford; and 
made but a fliort ftay there, his ambition prompting him to an active 
life, which he had a full opportunity of indulging throughout the reign 
cf Elizabeth, and diftinguiftied himfelf particularly by the difcovery of 
Virginia; but on her death he loft his intereft at court, was ftrippcd of 
all his preferments, and even accufed, tried, and condemned for high 
treafon, Nov. 17, 1603. Being reprieved, he continued prifoner in the 
Tower for many years ; and in that (ituation, befides other woiks, wrots 
his famous " Hiftory of the World." He was enlarged from confinement 
in 1616 ; but by the artifice of the Spani/h embafiador Gundamer, \vs3 
beheaded, 0£l. 2,9, in confequence of his former attainder. The bet? 
edition of his " Hiftory" is that publifhed in two volumes, folio, fcy 
Oldys ; who has difproved the common ftory of Sir Walter's burning- 
his fetond volume. A collection of his fmaller pieces was printed, in 
1748, in two volumes, 8vo. 

b The defign of Sir Walter's " Hiftory" was equal to the greatn-.'s 
ef his mind, and the execution to the ftreng f h of his parts and the 
variety of his learning. His ftyle is pure, nervous, and majeftie ; and 
much better fuited to the dignity of hiftory than that < f Lord Bacon. 
" Rawleigh and Hyde (fays the learned Author quoted in p. 5S) are the 
" only two our nation has yet produced of a true hi/tor ic genius 1 thj fn I 
«' excelling in majefty of thought, equal to the fubjecT: he undertook:; 
*' and the latter, for his comprehenfive knowledge of mankind, will fur 
" ever bear the unrivaled title of the Chancellor' of human nature." 
freaking of Rawlegh, he adds, " Obferve his great manner of eridihg 
** the Firjt P<i r t of the Hiftory of the World.— What flrength of co!< ur- 
" ing ; what grace, what noblenefc of expreftion ! with wh3t a majefty 
u does he clofe his immortal labour *' Ciititai E -• .-. v, &c, p. 6c>. 

7 The 



94 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

The " Trypal Veffels," mentioned in the fourth DifTertation, 
are not to be flighted ; fince they are fuch things as, wlien nicely 
tolled up in a ragout, often fervc as a difli in the entertainment 
of princes. 

As to what concerns the " Confecrated Clouts," I mult ac- 
quaint the Reader, that I lately received a Letter from Rome, 
containing an affair of great importance ; which is, that whilil 
his Holinefs Pope Clement was lately rumaging the Cattle of 
St. Angelo, for the trcafure of Sextus Quintus, to help to pay 
his tatterdemallion forces, who had more guittars than horfes or 
mufquets, he found in a corner an old cheft, that had lain mould- 
ing for many ages ; which being opened with much-ado, ex- 
pecting great treafure, it proved to be a collection of the child- 
bed linen provided for her Holinefs Pope Joan. She and her 
child dying in the proceiTion, as Hiilory records ; they were 
laid up, in cafe any future Infallibility fhould have occafion to 
make ufe of them. There were 3 mantles, 6 blankets, 6 beds, 
10 night-caps, 8 day-caps, 12 biggins next the head, 12 neck- 
cloths, a dozen and a half of flobbering-bibs, 6 pair of gloves, 
6 pair of fleeyes, feveral flays, 4 rollers, S belly-bands, and io 
pilches. It was no unpleafant fight, to fee the Pope and the old 
Cardinals handling and poring upon this childbed equipage, 
though moil of them had paid for feveral fetts for their nieces 
and nephews. There were ten dozen of extraordinary large 
diaper and damafk clouts ; and there was a memorandum tacked 
to them, that, by a peculiar fan£ti:y and quality that they were 
endued with, they would caufe a grea: aftringency when applied 
to human pofteriors ; which being taken notice of by Cardinal 
Trimalchini, he made this elegant fpeech - u 
" Mav it pleafe you, Holy Father, 

" Thefe Clouts fcem to have been the moll ufeful things that 
" could have been difcovered in the prefent circumflances of 
*' Europe. We fee their virtues have been tranfmitted down to 
" us for many ages. And now we have the greateil occafion 
" for the trial of them. I would defire therefore that your 
" Holinefs would be pleafed to diilribute them in fuch propor- 
" tion as you (hall think moll fitting, amongll the Sacred Con- 
fl fiftory. For, if the Germans make dailv fuch approaches to- 
" wards Rome, rattle fo with their drums, and thunder fo with 
«« their cannon ; I may be bold to fay, that, unlefs fome ex- 

" traordinary 



PREFACE TO PART II. 95 

" inordinary application is made, we may all of us chance to 
u be no fweeter than we mould be." 

So far my Author. 

I (hall detain my Reader no longer with a Preface ; but leave 
him to gather what benefit he can from the eofuing pages. 



N°I. 

THE EUNUCH'S CHILD. 

Some important Queries, whether a Woman, according to 
Juftice and any Principles of Philofophy, may lay a 
Child to an Eunuch : as the Matter was argued between 
the Churchwardens of Santo Chryfoltomo in Venice, 
and the Learned Academy of the Curiofi there : occa- 
fioned by an Accident of that Nature happening to 
Signiof Valentio Crimpaldi, Knight of the Order of 
the Caponi. 

SIR, 

THERE happened not long ago in Venice a remarkable 
accident, which has given occafion for many fpecul^ions. 
There was a young woman of creditable parentage, only ltd 
away by die deluiions of youth, that came and made oath before 
Mr. Jultice Nani, that me was with child by the Si?nior Valenrio 
Crimpaldi ; and defired his warrant againft him, that he might 
father it. The Churchwardens of Santo Chryfoflomo at the 
fame time appeared for the parifh, and prelfed the matter home 
upon the Juftice, who feemed averfe to granting any j not omV 
out of refnecT: to the quality of the perfon, who was a CaviUera y 
but likewiie becaufe he was publicly known and reputed :o be 
an Eunuch. 

However, the Churchwardens, tqgether with the Ocerfeers 
and Siddmcn, were very importunate, and the woman wi;h a 
modefty that (hewed ab if that had been her only flip, perfifted in 
her firft sfle'rtioh ; owning indeed, that lhe truited to the faith of 

the 



<5* USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

the Signior's being an Eunuch ; but, however, the Child 
was bis. 

The Juftice was an Hiilorian and a Virtuofo; and told them, 
H That all the Eaiiern people had Eunuchs for their prime con- 
" fidents, becaufe they would keep theL women to themlelves f 
and then argued, from the various parts that were wanting, that 
the matter was impoffible. 

However, one of the Sidefmen, being a Horfe-courfer, fpoke 
much to the fprightlinefs of geldings, and as to feveral of their 
feats of activity; infomnch that he ftaggered the Juftice, who, 
living near the Academy of the, Curio/i, fent for fome of his 
learned neighbours, to help him out in this difficulty. 

The hall was quickly full j and, after fome arguments managed 
with much earneftnefs, the venerable Signior Aerio, by his mien 
of gravity, feemed to command filence, and thus began : 

*. I am altogether of opinion, that this Child is rightlv laid to 
' the Signior Vaientio, notwithstanding his being an Eunuch ; and 

* I ground my opinion upon the experience I have of all forts of 

* effluvia's, and what their power is in the productions of nature. 

** To account for uncommon phenomena's may feem very 
"difficult; yet give me leave to make fome obtarvations on 
'* former experiments of the like kind, which, with remarks on 
" fome others lately made, may in fome meafure folve that 
« difficulty." Phil. Tranl". N° 315. p. 83. 

* I take it, Noble Sirs, that this matter might happen to proceed 

* from the vehement effluvia pafiing from the body of Signior 

* Vaientio : for I cannot fee how fo many particles as he is com- 
' pofed of mould not fhew themfelves more " than wax included 
" in a glafs, whofe motion has been experimented by the ap- 
" proach of a finger near its out-fide," ibid. 

* The words of the Author, if we may compare inanimate 
' things with animate, are very exprcflive, and come up to the 

* pivfent purpofe : 

" It was obfervable of the wax, that, after the motion and 
" attrition of the glafs was continued about three minutes, and 
*' then ceafing, the threads within feemed to hang in a carelefs 
" confufion, and were not inftantaneoufty erected. Bur, in and 
" about three or four feconds of time, they were fo every way 
■ " towards the circumference of the glafs, and feemingly with fo 

" much 



THE EUNUCH'S CHILD. 97 

*' much ftoutnefs, that a motion of the glafb alone would give 
" them no great diforder." P. 82. 

" But that which was the most furprizing was, to fee a 
" motion given them by the approach of one's hand, finger, or 
u any other body, at more than three inches distance from the 
" outward furface, notwithstanding the threads within touched 
u not the inward one. And it was farther obfervable, that, after 
" every repetition of the motion, and the new attrition of the 
" glafs, the distance at which the threads might be moved 
" feemed to be increafed ; and at another time, upon sudden 
" clapping of fpread hands on the parts, there has been fuch 
" a violent agitation of the threads within, as was very furpri- 
" zing, and continued fo for fome time. It feems, that the parts 
" of the effluvia are stiff and continued ; that, when any part of 
" them are pufhed, all that are on the fame line luffer the fame 
" diforder. So, allowing a continuation of parts, the effluvia 
" within and thofe without are all of a piece ; for thev arc both 
" begot by the lame attrition, that when the effluvia are pufhed 
" or dilturbed without, the effluvia within in the fame direction 
" arc fo too, and confequently the threads which are upheld and 
•* directed by them." P. 83. 

" It feems deducible from many other arguments of this Alt- 
" thor, that the figure of the parts of glafs and sealing-wax are 
" much alike ; otherwife the effluvia of one could not penetrate 
*' or pafs with fuch eafe the body of the other, and then aft as if 
" it was one and the fame with it." Phil. Tranf. N» 318. p. 221. 

1 I fhall leave the application of what I have laid to this au- 
' gust and learned audience. As to the vulgar, thev know 1 
' have always defpifed their common fentiments.' 

When Signior Aerio had decently difpofed himfelf, up rofa 
Signior Clappario, whofe velvet cloak and cane of ebony en- 
gaged the eyes of the fpeftatora to be fixed upon him. Who thus 
began : 

' I altogether agree, Moft Noble Sirs, with that illustrious 
1 perfon that fpoke lalt, as to the whole nature ot effluvia', and 
' their admirable effects in all produ&ions.' Then, turninj hiin- 
:' If about to the Knight, he faid, « Moft noble Signior Valentiu 
■ Crimpaldi, honoured with the dignity of the Caponi, by what i 
•have heard from the lady here, you are the Father of this 
' chih!. T.ike ic not, 1 befeech you, amifs ; tor the excellence 
' 0! \our voice has produced you sufficient to provide for the help- 

V« 1. II. il ' lcf 3 



98 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

* lcfs mother and this lovely infant, which will take away all re- 

* proaches caft upon your order for the future. 1 would not 
1 chink the ejflui'ias proceeding from your perfon fhould be of 

* leli value or reputation, than thole proceeding from the arti- 
4 t ; .t : il phofpborus, or polifhed amber. If their efflwj'tas can 

* caule light, why may. not vour more noble ones do the fame. 
' Give me leave to inform this noble audience and the world 
' what I know concerning the artificial phoj'phorus. 

" You may remember my telling you, many years a<ro, of 
'*' my good Friend Mr. Boyle's communicating to me, about die 
" year 16S0, his way of making the phofpborus with urine ; at 
" the fame time dcliring me to ule all my endeavours tc find out 
" fome other fubjecl trom whence it might be made in greater' 
*' quantity : and perhaps he might have made the like rcqueft to. 
" many more ; for, to ufe his own words, he really pitied his 
" Chemift, who was forced to evaporate fo prodigious a quantity 
" of urine, to get a very little of the phofpborus. 

" Soon after, in order to fee fome experiments in chemifu'-, I 
" lodged for a lhort time at his chemiiVs houic, one Mr. Bllgar, 
*{ then living in Mary Ie Bowftrcet, near Piccadilly, who was in- 
" deed equally if not more importunate with me than Mr. Boyle 
•f to try if I could find out fome other matter, trom which moie 
*i might be made than from urine : telling me there was fo great 
" a demand for it, that it would be of very gieat advantage 10 
« him. 

'* It being then a very hot fummcr, I caufed a piece of the Jiied 
»' matter in the fields where they empty the houfes ofqffice to be 

c Mr. Robert Boyle, feventh (on of Richard earl of Corke, was born 
Tan. 25, 1626-7. He W3S educated at Eaton ; and was an early pro- 
ficient in the mathematicks. On his return from foreign travel, he ap- 
plied himfelf particularly to chemittry ; and made fuch difcoveries in that 
branch' of feience, as can fcarce be credited upon lefs authority than his 
own. His exalted piety was equal to his extenfive knowledge. Thefe 
excellences kept pace with each other; but the former never led him to 
enthufialm, n u r the lat'er to vanity. He was himfelf " The Chrirtian 
" Virtuofo'' which he has del'cribed, in a book miner th-t title; and was 
the founder of the theological letfure which bears his name; and in 
which fome cf the preachers are faid to have excelled thcmfelves in 
ftrivirg to do jutlce to the piety of the founder. Mr. Boyle was fre- 
quently offered a tccragCj but declined that honour, He died, unmarried, 

Doc, 30, 169 1, 

" digged 



THE EUNUCH'S CHILD. ' 99 

u digged up ; in which, when broken in the dark, a great num- 
" ber of imall particles of phofpborus appeared. 

" This matter I carried to Mr. Boyle, who viewed, it with 

* great fatisfa£lion\ and Mr. Bilgar, by his direction, fell to 

* work thereon. 

" You well know, Sir, that human urine and dung do plenti- 
" fully ibound with an oleofum and common fait -. fo that I take 
" the artificial phofpborus to be nothing elle but that animal 
"oleofum coagulated with the mineral acid of fpirit of laic ; 
" which coagulum is preferred and diilb'lved in water, but ac- 
" cended by air. 

" Thefe confederations made me conjecture, that amber (which I 
" take to be a mineral oleofum coagulated with a mineral volatile 
" acid) might be a natural phofpborus. 

" So I fell to many experiments upon it, and at laft found that 
u by gently rubbing a well-polimed piece of amber with my hand 
" in the dark (which was the head of my cane) it produced a 
" light. 

" Whereupon I got a pretty large piece of amber, which I 
" caufed to be made long and taper ; and drawing it gently through 
" my hand, being very dry, it afforded a confidcrable light. 

" I then ufed many kinds of foft animal fubflances, and found 
" none did fo well as that of wool. And now new phenomena 
" offered themfelves ; for, upon drawing the piece of amber 
" fwiftly through the woollen cloth, and fqueezing it pretty hard 
" with my hand, a prodigious number of little cracklings were 
u heard, and every one of thofe produced a little flnfh of light. 
" But, when the amber was drawn gently and (lightly through 
" the cloth, it produced a light, but no crackling. But, by hold- 
" ing one's finger at a little diftancc from the amber, a large 
u crackling is produced, with a great flam of light fucceedihg 
" it; and what to me is very furprizing, upon its irruption ic 
" {hikes the finger very fenfibly, where-evcr applied, with a pufh 
" or puff like wind. 

" Now I make no queftion but, upon ufing a longer and larger 
" piece of amber, both the cracklings and light would be much 
" greater, becaufe I never vet found any crackling from the 
" head of my cane, although it is a pretty large one." Phil. 
Tranf. N° 314. p. 69. 

H 1 * Moil 



*o© USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

* Moft Noble Gentlemen, 
* You cannot imagine I ihould think the efflwvias of Signior 

* Vakntio and this lady lefs productive of what is glorious, than 

* the amber head of my can<J, or thofe ingredients with which Mr. 

* Bilgar made his phofphorus* 

He had fcarce made an end, when another pei Ton of diftinction 
rofe up, with a letter in his hand fent him by a friend from bevond 
fea.- " I am happy,' fays he, ' moft Noble Audience, that I have 
4 this minute received a Letter, dated March 30, 1708, which, 
' will ftrengthen the opinions of the worthy perfons that fpokc 
' before, will clear up the credit of this lady, and fhew the power 
' which the efflu-vias of Signior Valentio may have in the gene-. 
' ration of this pretty infant. The words of the Letter arc thefe :. 
44 From hence it is eafy to conclude, that, if nine or ten atmofpheres 
4< of air were condenfed in the fpace of one, and to remain in that* 
" ftate for a year or two, when the veiled that contains them* 
"mail become expofed open to the air, fuch as very thin glafs 
84 bubbles (fuppoling them not to be above five ar fix times fpeci- 

* fically heavier than their like bulk of common air), it would 
" float on fuch a medium ; which would be very furprizing, to fee 
41 a body iupported by an invifiblc agent. But I am not fure of 
44 this, for I cannot tell but it may be a means to render air vililde; , 
44 from whence fome difcoveries may be made, which otherwifc 
44 may be impoffible to know. But let- ic happen how it will (for 
" Nature will have her own ways) I doabt not but feveral ulcfut 
4< inferences may be made from fuch an experiment." Phil. , 
Tranf. N° 318. p. 218. 

' From whence I argue, that, if nine or ten atmofpheres con- . 

* denfed will raife things like glafs bubbles ; if thefe will float on. 
' a furprizing medium, and be fupported by an invifible agent ; 
•"and if Nature in all this will have. her own courfc ,- that then it 
1 may be concluded} that if nine or ten blue beans were put into a 

* blue bladder, to remain in that ftate for a year or two, and the 
s bladder containing them wereevery minute lhaken, with a lepe- 
4 tition of thefe Words, " Ten blue beans in a blue bladder* 1 1 
" Rattle, blue beans j rattle, blue bladder ; rattle, beans ; rattle, 
41 bladder, rattle !" that by this means Jounds might become vifi- 

* ble, and that they would be of a blue colour. Therefore, if all 

<• See Prior's Almn, ver. 29. 

* thefe 



THE EUNUCH'S CHILD. iot 

r thefe furprizing inftances are true in Nature, why may not Sig- 

* nior Valentio, who is more than an invifibls agent, nay, more 

* vifible than air itfelf, who has a coat of a blueim colour, and 

* a voice more harmonious than the rattling of any beans whar- 

* foever, be father of this child, when there are fuch pregnant in- 
' ftances for it throughout all the principles of philofophy ?' 

When he had fpoken and vyas let down, there was an univerfal 
filence amongft all the audience, each gazing upon the mother, her 
/on, and Valentio, who with all rational probability would loon be 
declared a father. 

Some were (truck with admiration at the force of the argument, 
others at the beauty of the expreffion, but mod at the fagacity of 
the perfons who had made fuch ufeful experiments. The Juflice 
was extremely difcompofed ; the Churchwardens were as much 
fatisfied ; when on a fudden a Gentlewoman appeared jn a decent 
habit, with a motherly fort of an afpe£t, and, prefling forward, 
defiled me might be heard in this matter, as believing fhe could 
by one particular inftance anfwer all the arguments juit now pro- 
pofed by the Curiofu 

Says me, ' Mod Noble Sirs, I am a widow of lome reputation 

* in the ward I live in, for the good offices I do upon many occa- 
' (ions. 1 have a daughter not yet twenty years of age, not un- 

* handfome neither (if I may fo fay it, though not unlike her 
' mother) ; (he has been twice a widow, Heavens hslp her ! Her 

* firft hulband was a feaman ; but he being gone, and my daughter 

* and I being lonely women, we did not know but he was as good 
' as dead. There came a perfon who made addrefTes to my daugh- 

* ter, though I gave him encouragement as to myfelf. To be 
' fhort, with much application, I gave them leave to come together. 

* The fack-pejfet Was eaten, and the flocking thrown. Well, let 

* me tell you, the thing that went to bed with my daughter was as 

* like a man as ever you faw any thing in the "varfal world. He 
I killed like any Chriftjan, and fang like an Angel. They had 
f not palled half a quarter of an hour, when out of the chamber 

* runs poor Molly, all in tears, poor foul ! " Lord, mother ! 
1 what have we got here ? Sure it is fome Spirit !" Well, we were 
( forced to flay till morning; and, by difcourfe with my neigh* 

* hours, I found that my daughter had gone to bed with Signior 
< Gioleppe, one that, it fcems, came over to ling in the Opera. 

H 3 ♦ Now, 



tea USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

' Now, from mine and mv Daughter's misfortune, let other 
1 perfons take heed, and efpeciafly you, Mr. Juflice, in pronoun- 
' cing your fentence ; for my daughter and I are both ready upon 
' our corporal oaths to (wear, that Signior Valcntio, being an 
' Eunuch, could nor get that child ; and lhe is a bafe woman that 
1 lavs it to him. I know my daughter, poor babe, has too much 
' ot rny blood in her, to have run crying out of bed, if any 
' Eunuch in Cnriftendqrh had been able to gee her with child.' 

The young gentlewoman w.ts by; and, looking down, made a 
courtety, in teftimony of her Mother's affirmation. 

This gave a new turn to the whole affair. All were willing r o 
believe the Ladies ; nor did the juftice any longer delay to give 
his opinion, though, to pleafe the Chuichwardens, he made fonie 
hefitation, as — that Signior Valentin appeared a» much a man as 
other people. Whereupon, to obviate that objection, (leps out a 
perlon, and de fired he rqjght tell him a Cable, and i'.tch ;i one as 
would (hew there is no trujf to ajpearances. 

" Sam Wills had view'u Kate Bets, a fattUrfg lafs ; 
" And for her pretty Mouth admired her faceJ 
" K.i-c had lik'd Sam, for Note of Rom..u lizc, 
*' Not minumg his complexion or bis sjie . 
*f They met— '.a/j Sam, alas, to fav the tru'.i, 
•■ I find my fclf deceives bv that {mill Mouth - 
*' Alas, cues Kate, could any one fnppofe, 
•' I caiki be fo deceiv'd bv inch a Ncfe ' 
" B ■/ I henceforth lhall hold this maxim hid, 
il To ii.ive experience firft, and then to truft '" 

.' . - icnr, the Woman thought fit to march on 

■ ,. . \ a: did no: think it woith his 

. ■ . ., - . , i of his manhood. 



N° II. 



C IC 3 ] 

N° ir. 
THE T O N G U E. 

New Additions to Mr. Anthony Van Leeuwenhoeck's 
Microfcopical Obfervations upon the Tongue, and the 
White Matter on the Tongues of Feverifh Perfons. In 
which are iheivn, the federal Particles proper for Prat- 
tling, Tattli ng, Pli; aim ng, Ha r a nguing.Ly i no, 
Flattering, Scolding, and other fuch like Oecu- 
lions. Communicated by Dr. Testy. 

HAVING lately feen Mr. Leeuwenhoeck's Obfervations 
upon the Tongues of Fcveriih. Perfons e , and finding them 
very curious, " and that he had taken care to have two Fevers, 
" the former more violent than the latter;" I was ambitious like- 
wife to make lb me experiments : though, not being willing to 
venture mv own perfon, I defired of a Wine-porter in the neigh- 
bourhood, that, when he mould find it requisite to drink more 
than ufual, he would take a pint or two of brandy extraordinary, 
and come to me the next morning, without hawking or fpitting, 
and as thirity as he could polfibly ; and accordingly, not failing, 
he mould have a fuitable reward. 

The next morning he came ; and, being defired to gape, which 
he could fcarce do, I found his lips almoft glewed up with a Vftrj 
black fubfiance ; which, being llparnted, •« I found his Tongue 
'•covered with a 'thick whitifh matter," p. 210. Having no 
'* pen-knife nor fiber tongue-icraper by me," 1 called for a targe 
cafe-knife, with which i made mv Butler gather firft the black 
matter oti of his lips, and then the white fur from his Tongue. 
Mv man would have put each of them into " clean China coffee- 
" difikds j" ibid, but 1 bad him fetch two new white earthen cham- 
ber-pots, and then, ordering the Porter two full pots of drink, 
I dihnilic't him, to hallen to the contemplation of what J had 
before me. 

e t( Obfervations on the White Morbid Matter on the Tongues of 
" Feverith Perfons, by A. V. Leeuwcnhoeck ," an Honorary Mstr.ber ojf 
tire Royal Society. Phil. Trznf. Vol. XXVI. N° 3 iS. p. zio. 

H 4 I bad 



ic4 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS, 

I bad ray man pour boiling rain-water into both the veflch, 
■ to the intent that the vifcous pr flimy matter, which did as it 
" were glew the particles together, might thereby be feparated, 
u that he might the better obferve them." He told mc, that he 
faw divers particles, that had the figure of pears, apples, plumbs, 
and oranges ; " but that none of them had any part that anfwered 
" to a flalk," ibid. All this I more readily believed, becaufe I 
knew his wife to be a Fruiterer : but whether this phenomenon 
may not be enlarged, is a quellion ; for, I believe, thev may be 
agreeable to the fevcral profelhons. Mr. Leeuwenhoeck " believed 
" his little fmall particles to be little fcales of the outward fkin of 
" the Tongue," ibid. And thefe in all probability would he much 
hardened and increafed in a Fifh-wife, who has great neceffity for 
the prefervation of fo important a member, efpecially at Billingf- 
gatc. Monfieur Lceuwenhoeck, "in this matter, found an un- 
*' ipeakable number of fmall roundilh particles,- about the fame 
" bienefs as the globules of the • Wood, which -caufe rednefs 
" Now, though they were not of a reddifh colour, yet he ima- 
" gined them to be fmall divided blood particles," pt 211. I afked 
my man if he faw any fuch particles ; he faid, he faw little white 
things. I told him, " they were the globules of the blood, that 
" caufed rednefs," p. ;ii; but 1 could not convince his unpliilofo- 
phical ignorance, how fuch red and blovdy globules -mould con- 
fut-ute a white fubftance. I allied him- " if he law an unfpeakable 
" number of long particles agreeing in length with the hair of a 
't man's beard,, that had not been fliaved in eight or ten days ?" 

p. 2JZ. . . • 

He, looking off from his microfcope, very faucily cried, 
«' How can I tell that, Sir ?. Do not forn^ mens beards grow fader 
W than other fpme ?" I afked .him if the particles were bright? 
He faid, " Yes j and that feveral were ve.y like a bright flame." 
Thefe I took to be fuch as Mr. Leeuwenhoeck obferved," although 
•« he did not take the leaf! phyfick, or 'indeed any thing elie but a 
*i little caudle, or a little veal broth with fome bread in it." ibid. I' 
may attribute the ihining of the particles in my prefent indance to 
another caufe; for. mv Wine-porter, from, his, fird attempt of a 
Fever, till the quenching of his third, rook no other fuftenance 
excepting burnt brandy. Therefore, in. this matter, I mud dif- 
agr;c with Monfieur Leeuwenhoeck, " that this white matter is 
1* protruded out of the Tongue, and no evaporation or coagulation 
i : u from 



THE TONGUE. ,05 

f* from tlie intrails," p. 213. For there fecms to mc in tins cafe, 
that the particles of fire were forced down by the great quantity 
of liquid particles of the brandy to the lowermoft parts of the in- 
trails, and there, working by the way of coction, caufed an ebul- 
lition, which naturally arifes with a white fubftance, as in the 
fcum of boiled Beef and Bag-pudding, Artichoaks, Calves Head*-, 
and' Legs of Mutton. 

Mr. Lceuwenhoeck " did difcover an unconceivable m:m1>er 
" of exceeding fmall Aniuialcula, and thofe of different forts, bur 
*' the greateft number of them were of one and the fame fizc ; and 
" that moft of thefe Animalcula rendezvouzed in that part of the 
" water where the faid matter of liis tongue lav," p. 214. This 
feems to me to let one into a noble phenomenon of nature ; for I 
inquired of my man if he did not think he faw that the particles of 
the white matter were like Eggs ; he told me, " Yes, and that he 
*' faw innumerable Serpents, Kites, Ravens, Oftriches, Crocodiles, 
" and fuch like fort of creatures, coming out of them." From 
whence I raifed this philosophical reafon, why drunken men are 
fo quarelfome ; for, as I faid before, the hot liquor throwing up 
an " evaporation or coagulation from the intrails," p. 213, raifes 
up likewife an inconceivable number of thefe little Eggs ; which, 
being quickly hatched there, as in an Egvptian oven, put the 
patient to an extreme torment ; fo that it is no wonder if perfons fo 
tormented by thefe Animalcula throw them out at random, with- 
out any fear, wit, or ferious confederation, oftentimes in very op- 
probrious language. 

. Mr. Leeuwenhoeck could do no greater fervice to the world> 
than to ftudy the figure, quantity, and quality, of thefe Animalcula 
rendezvousing upon the Tongues of all forts of perfons in their 
feveral circumftances ; for I doubt not but they would fhew the 
true reafon of the formation of all languages, and that they would 
be like the creatures that moft abound in their refpeftive countries. 

" After I had iatisfied myfelf concerning that matter which is 
" found upon the Tongue," and which we call the Thrufh, I let 
" my thoughts wander a little farther upon the confideration of 
" the Tongue itfelf, in order, if it were poffible, that I might 
" difcover the pores by which that matter is imbibed, which is 
" afterwards protruded out of the Tongue," Is 3 315, p. in ; for 
I take it, that, by a due obfervation of the quality of the particles 
of which the Tongue is compofed, we may give an account of the 

feveral 



xo6 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

feveral phxnomcna of the voice and fpeech that is produced by 
it. 

I am not infenfible that an articulate voice, when diftinft, is 
produced by rive organs, according to the Verfe, 

Guttur lingua palatum dentes & duo labra. 

u To found true words, the Throat and Tongue muft go, 
" The Palate, Teeth, and the two Lips alio." 

There may be very noble obfervations made concerning each of 
thefe feveral organs. The Hebrew and Oriental Languages found 
much from the Throat, which ihew that they came more imme- 
diately fioci the Heart; and as that is the feat of life, fo their 
found is commanding and majeitic. Not much different from 
them in that refpeft are the Gothic and Saxon, and the moft an- 
tient Britiih, which our Anceftors ufed, whilft honour, truth, and 
juilice, flourilhed in thefe parts. 

Of the Tongue I fhall fpeak fomething more largelv immedi- 
ate]'/. And for the other four organs, I defign particular Diffcr- 
tationr. concerning them. The Palate, or Roof of the Mouth, 
oftentimes bv great colds will iwell, and fall down to a vevv great 
bagnefc, and obfhucl; the voice. To help this, good old women, 
pitting the cafe of fuch as fhould be any wavs hindered from 
fjj aking, bv the help of Album Gitaec«fn and Honev, with their 
thumb it place the glands by a guule ;.ttrition into their due pofi- 
t.ons. The failure of this Palate is often occafioncd by love in 
fuch p'ufons who have felt more than one of Cyther*a'sjfi***«s ; 
t'..-:i due voice is not altogether fo lonorous and picafiiig as it was j 
bur '.nofe pcrfons- generally make ufe ot a fixttt organ the Nofe-,' 
tho.'.gh oftentimes, the budge of that failing, they make ulc of the 
(eventh organ, which is the Nolhil. 

The Teeth are very neceffary inftrumenrs, and contribute much 
to the temper and good humour of tpeech : tor we find by sfged 
pcrfons, who become edentulous or toothleis, that, their Lips fttlllhg 
in, and their Jaws being lomcthing protruded, they come to a ce<- 
rait! Cb'.iH-le pofition of face, and to a language fcarce to be un- 
derftood. Which, if it is, generally proves pecvifh 

The Lips arc ufeful for killing as well as fpcaking : of thefe I 
defign a particular account, when I give an abtlrac"V of ihe learned 
Kcinpius's Troatile Dc Outdo, or of Killing; and his par.icular 
©ifii ■: '•.(..••-., &e Oj'c.do Jud.-r, bt the K ; f. of Judas. 

I com- 



THE TONGUE. i»7 

I communicated my thoughts about the Tongue to the inge- 
nious Mr. Trencher, who advifed me " to take four diftinft 
** Tongues, one of a Cow, another of an Ox, a third of an Hog, 
" and a fourth of a Sheep ;" p. Hi. He ordered me to boil th« 
fiift, and place near to it an adjacent Udder upon a bed of Spinage, 
mollified with a fufficient quantity of frefli Butter. The Ox's 
Tongue he thought proper to roait, faying the particles would 
appear better after a torrefying evaporation. But, he faid, Venifon 
Sauce would not be improper to explicate the fcveral difcoveries 
he refolved to make. He told me that the Hog's and Sheep's 
Tongues might be got dried in mod paved allies. I invited him 
to come the next day about noon, and that all things mould be 
ready, and my microlcopes in order. 

He came according to his promife ; and the boiled Tongue, 
Udder, and buttered Spinage, were placed upon the table as prc- 
fcribed. " I let myfelf to examine the fkins of the fame, and 
" particularly the external particles that are upon the thieknefs 
" of the Tongue ; and where, as I conceive, is the place that ad- 
" mits the juices into the Tongue, by which that fenfation is 
* produced which we call die Tafte. I feparated thofe afore - 
" laid external particles as well as I could horn thofe that lay 
" under them ; and obferved that the latter, that is to fay, the 
" internal, were furnilhed with a very great number of pointed 
u particles, the tops of which for the molt part were broken ofi', 
"and remained flicking in the outmoft ikin. When I placed 
" one of thofe internal particles of the- Tongue before a mi- 
*' crofcope, it appeared to me to be as it were a tranfparcnt body, 
" foniething larger than a Thimble,*' as appears in the figures 
<!, N a i, 2. I told my Friend each moment what occurred to 
me ; but he was fo intent upon his eating, that I was afraid I 
fhould lcarce have materials enough wherewith to perform my 
microfcopical oblcrvations. At lull, I pcrfuaded him to look 
upon a part of the Tongue, which appeared to me to have a very 
great rcfcmblance of Thimbles. " Upon viewing with a micro* 
41 (cope lome of the Tongue which is between the protuberances 
" I obferred that ic was all over covered with a great number ofc 
" riling roundneffes," p. in, as appears l)v the figure, N° B. 
He immediately told me that the reprefentation of Thimbles 
(hewed that it belonged tea Female, and tin- reprefentation of 
Mojulain. (hewed the country it came horn : fiom vvhenee lie 

concluded. 



*>S USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

concluded, that it was the Tdoguc of a Wellh Cow; and for 

fi^rther cfemonftratioo, he (hewed mc Pen-Man- Maur, and Pen- 

. ds delineated in the Figures A. and D. He explained 

i', rr-c, that in the Figure G, N* 2, I was miftaken to think that 

t)it tops of the Thimbles were broken otf: for he faid they were 

, though without a top, as being Tavlors Thimbles : 

from whence he concluded the rationality of that fentence, that 

Taylors were fq congenial to the feminine fex, " That Nine of 

"' rlicrn muft go to the cqmpofuion of One Man." Now, fays 

my Friend, if vou pleafe to take this little piece of Tongue 

and view it with the nhciofcope, " you will find fevcral long 

'• particles in k." In the mean time I will cut myfelf another 

. arid demonftratc to you how T relilh or tafle it. 

** You fee, I ftjppofe, the aforementioned long particles, as in 

" Figure, Letter II. Now, when I prefs my Tongue againft the 

** roof of mv mouth, in order to tafte any thing, thefe long parti- 

•' etc;, as numerous as the grafs in the field, the ends of which are 

'-' cxceedinglruender, prefs through the uppermoft fkin, which at 

• at place is very tliin ; or, to fpeak more properly, is endued 

*» with irnatl pores or holes, and lb receives a little juice ; from 

41 all which proceeds fuch a fort of fenfataon, which we call 

** Tafte," p. H3- When thefe particles are fliarp, and meet with 

«ther (harp particles in the thing that is chewed, they produce a 

poignancy or pungency, as in earing of Sorrel and Tongue-grafs. 

i . 1 lard-feed originally is globular, and would confeqnently roll 

over thefe gratify particles of die Tongue, as a Bowling-green : 

bur, being contufed in a 1k>w1 by an iron ball, it affurnes a fliarp 

lire, and confequently has that poignancy or pungency 

which ha 1 ' bocafioned the epithet given it by Mr. Robinfon in his 

learned Treadle, called " Quu Genus," of Scelerata Sinnpis ; or, 

is Horace, in his " Art of Cookery," exprefics it, ver. 1-4, 

" The roguifn .Muftard, dangerous to the Nofe ;" 

which explains the phenomenon, that as the Nofe is a fupplctory 
organ to the Speech, ib it is like-wife to the tafte. 

When the particles are more obtufe and round, there is a fort 
ef gbbnefs in the tafte, not without a pleafantncis in the degluti- 
tion, as in Sack-poilet, Quaking-pudding, Oatmeal-caudle, or 
tbe iike. 

I 



Figures of Parts of the Tongue, taken from the Phte 
before Phil. Trans. N° 315. 



% kmMt 

r\\\ \* 5» ?*& ,. * wis. 




no USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

As my Servant was bringing in the roafted Tongue, I read to 
him this palTage out of Mr. Leeuwcnhoeck : 

" Some time ago a certain Gentleman related, as a very won- 
" dcrful thing, that the Oxen or Cow:, had their Tongues armed 
" with very fbarp particles. But I told him they inuft neceffa- 
" rily be fo, becaufc thofe beafts had no Teeth in the upper 
'* Mouth or Jaw j and therefore were forced to prefs the Grafs 
" with their Tongues againft the roots of their mouths, in order 
*' to break it to pieces." Ibid. 

My Friend, with a very fmall interruption of his eating, told 
me, he could not agree with Mr. Leeuwcnhoeck in that pofition, 
that Oxen and Cows had no Teeth in their upper Mouth or 
Jaw; for, he allured me, he had often feen them without a 
microfcope, as lodging with a Gentlewoman that bakes them 
nightly. He owned that Oxen had their Tongues armed with 
very lharp particles ; and thereupon gave me a lmall bit of the 
Ox's roaft Tongue before him, to view with my microfcope, 
which appeared to me in the fhape of the Figure defcribed under 
the Letter E. I complained to him, that die particles were not 
iharp. He anfweied, it was true and that the fubiidingof their 
points was occafioncd in their torrefa£tion by delusion of the 
globular particles of the Butter with which it had been balled, 
which made it more lufcious to the Palate. To confirm this, he 
Jhewecl me a furprizing initance. He cut a very large piece of 
the Tongue, and involved it in the Venifon Sauce, which is com- 
posed of fweet ingredients ; and, cutting oft' a very fmall parti- 
cle for me to view with my microkopc, I round that the virtue of 
that Sauce had made all thofe pointed particles to lubiide ; leaving 
onlv fome vcftrges or traces of the fame in the middle, as in Letter 
F; and three pointed and aipiring Pyramids, as N° 2, 3, 4 ; there 
being fome pointed particles, as K° 5, 6, and 7, ftill remaining 
which, notwithstanding the fuavity of the Sauce, may give 
pungency to the reliili. 

" I had caufed a Hog-butcher to bring me, at feveral times, 
"divers tongues of Hogs," p. 114; and, according to my 
Friend's advice, laid one dried before him, who,. immediately 
" cutting off" the outward fkin with all its " protuberant parti- 
cles," gave me a bit of the faid fkin to contemplate with my 
microfcope. He was going to eat a piece of the Tongue with 

fome 



THETONGUE. nx 

fome Muftard, when very furprizingly and eavneitly l.c called 
for fome Loaf-fugar, which lie kraped into ir. Now, Sir, fays 
he, it vou will look a little cloler you will fee the abfolute nec:f- 
fity of fome mollifving, dulcifying, and fmoothing body; other-, 
wife the fharp pointed particles of the Hog's Tongue, together 
with the faline particles and the fumous or fmoaky particles 
which it contracted or acquired in its drying, joined to the hamate 
and poignant particles of the Muftard, would too fharply pierca 
the Tongue, fo that a perfon might as well eat a thoufand of pins 
or needles, in their proportion, as a very little bit of a Hog's 
Tongue, unlefs, as I laid before, it were mollified, dulcified, or 
fmoothed with Sugar. Then I, looking intently through my 
Microlcope, " with great wonder difcovercd a mighty number of 
" verv flender long particles, which always run into a fharp point 
*t at the end, juft as needles do appe?.r to the naked eye," p. 115, 
much in the nature of thole defcribed in Fig, H, N° 1, 2; only 
thofe, being of an Ox's Tongue, appeared like Pack-needles, 
and tliefe of the Hog like Needles fit for a Nun's working of 
Point of Venice. My Friend fc raped a few minute particles of 
Loaf-fugar upon a diminutive bit of the Hog's Tongue. I faw 
them immediately fubfule, and bend as in Figure I ; " whufe 
" inward parts, as it were, fhrunk inwards. My Friend gave me 
" ievcial thin fiices cut from the Tongue ; the phenomena, or 
" appearances, whereof were alwavs various ; yea, fo much that 
" 1 was quite altonifhed at it ; and if I could but reprefent them 
" to any other body's eyes in the lame manner as I faw them my- 
" fclf, they would cry our, What wonders are these!" 
p. 1:1, 2. 

From this wonderful variety of the phenomena, I cannot fix 
any certain conclufions ; only this, That it feems that, the 
Tongues of Hogs being compofed of fuch fharp particles, anil 
the voice of the Hog being partly framed by the Tongue, there 
is a fharp, harfh, or unpleaiing found, which proceeds from that 
animal, which is called in a moderate expreff.on grumbling or 
growling, but more properly and philofophically, after an onoma- 
tofoictical formation, it is called grunting, from the Latin grume, 
or grundio, to grunt like a Swine ; which found fufficicntly 
denotes the nature of the beaft. Thefe fharp particles of the 
Tongue prelling upon the palate of the Hog (*' upon which I have 
u ©ften ftroaked- my fingers upwards and downwards, but could 
2 « perceive 



iix USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

•' perceive no more roughnefs than if I had been feeling a piece of 
"velvet," p. 116,) pierce the Palate fo as to wound it in many 
places, of which you have an initance in the figure C, reprefenting 
a very minute bit of a Hog's Palate, wounded after a mod barba- 
rous manner. This makes it very painful and uneafy for that 
creature to exprefs iti'elf, and fo different from a fvuati in its 
dving agonies: fin ce there is nothing more harmonious than the 
hill accents of the former, but of the latter nothing more dit- 
agrecablc. 

Thefe long acicular {harp particles " are not all of them round ; 
** but each ot them aifumes luch a figure as fuits bell: to the others 
* to which it is joined, and io as to leave no fpace nor vacuity 
* 4 between them, iniomuch that I have leen fome of them that 
*f were in a manner of a triangular figure," p. ni. Hereupon I 
mad* a very curious and ufeful obfervation, being refolved to 
know how many of thefe long flefli particles, or rather fkihy 
mufcles, might be contained in an inch. I confidered that the 
diameter of one of thcte little mufcles of fleih <v does not exceed 
44 two hairs breadth of one's head ; and when we compute that iix 
** hundred breadths of a hair does not exceed the diameter of one 
" inch, it follows, that three hundred diameters of thefe fmall 
"■ mufcles is but equal to the diameter of one inch ; and conic-' 
" qucntly then, that ninety thoufand of the faid fmall mufcles of 
" ficih make no more than the thickners of one inch;" p. 120. 
This Ihcws what a voracious creature Mankind is; who, in a 
fmall piece of Tongue, of no more than the thicknefs of one inch, 
can chew and fwallow mufcles of flefh, which, computed by the 
diameter of the hair of one's head, amount to and equal a hun- 
dred and eighty thoufand hairy diamtters, which is a lum prodi- 
gious. But more exact calculations of this and many other 
things ihall be fully demonftrated, in a large Treadle I intend, 
concerning the proportion of a Hatr's-breadth to a Cow's Thumb. 

My Friend told me, that his bulinefs would not iutfer him to 
Say very much longer, yet Hill he was delirous that he might tafic, 
ur I might iiifpcc} into, a ilice or two of the Sheep's Tongue, 
which 1 had prepared for him. It was very lli.uige 10 iee the di£* 
t'crence of this fpecinc creature's Tongue, trom that ot the Hog's 
befoic-mentioned. The very figure of it is as imooth as the 
found it pronounces, which we call bleatifig, from the Greek 
^.•.r,^«o^«», which ncvettlxeleis in my opinion is more properly 
6 expreilcd 



T H E T O N G U E. it 3 

cxpreiTed by the Latin word balo, ba being the only found that 
Sheep which I have had the opportunity of knowing ever make, 
though perhaps in feveral tones, or notes, according to their fex, 
age, or ftation. That which I can neareft reprefent it to is a 
fmooth bright-ihining ftrand, newly left dry by the ebb, in which 
there ftill remain many gulls of water flowing down gently, a* 
appears in the whole figure K : and this philofophically explains 
what feemcd before to be only metaphors, when we mention tor- 
rents, floods, and flreams of eloquence ; fince they are all na- 
turally inherent in the Tongue, though they have been improved 
by Ariftotle and Tully, in their Treatifes of Rhetorick and 
Oratory. 

1 then told my Friend, that by thefe fpeculations we might eafilv 
fee the feveral ufes thefe various partftles might be put to, in the 
feveral occurrences of man's life. I fhewed him how the Ion'* 
acute particles of the Tongue, as defcribed N° H, were proper 
for Scolding, Snarling, Criticifing, Slandering, and Backbiting. 
That the particles, N» I, had in themfelves much of the nature 
of the former, and carried with them an equal poignancy ; bur 
could make their fharpnefs bend itfelf and comply as occafion 
might offer, fo as to produce the effects of Lving. The Figure 
E, lets forth the fhape of an eternal Pratler or Tatlcr, who has 
a multitude of thefe particles, whofe iharpnefs is rendered obtufe 
or blunt by the perpetual ufe that is made of them. The Figure 
G, by the multitude of its Thimbles, N° 3, fhwes itfelf to be 
feminine; and tlie firlt pointed hillock, N* 4, denotes Maundcr- 
ing ; the fecond protuberance, N° 5, imports Scolding ; and the 
third, N» 6, being forked, demonftrates Cuckoldom, which id 
likewife denoted by the bottom of the Figure A, though there tlie 
forked particles feem more concealed, as being perhaps likely to 
be received with greater contentment, the coronet at the top de- 
noting riches and preferment to be gained bv it. 

The Figure reprefentcd by the Letter F, ihews the «pue nature 
of Pleading and Haranguing; the ftreams of Eloquence flowing 
from the root in feveral rivulets, N° 1 ; but terminating ftill in a 
poignancy, or pungency, which is not ungrateful, but rather 
tickles than offends the ears of the audience, after a various man- 
ner ; as in N° 2, and 4, which are what are vulgarly called ivtffi, 
or g irJs; and N° 3, which is extreme Satire. When thefe little 
iharpncllcs are wholly removed, then it comes to the fmoothneh, 

Vol. II. I which 



n 4 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

which appears in the Figure Letter K, and is proper for Flatter- 
ing, whence all thing-; flow fo eafily, that the current is not to be 
refilled. I was purluing my notions, when my Friend, being 
thirfty with eating his dried Tongues, called firft for a tankard 
of ftrong Ale, then for a bumper of Clavct ; and then, taking up 
the root of the Hog's Tongue, which was ahnolt the only thing 
he had left of all four of them, he told me, " that he had often 
" thought our Tafte proceeds alone from the Tongue; but within 
u thefe few days he was of another opinion ; for, when he viewed 
" that part of the roof of the Mouth, oppofite to the top of the 
" Throat, where the notched or jagged part6 of the Hog's Tongue 
" are determined, he judged that that was the place from whence 
" the Head did partly difcharge itfelf, and the matter to be caft 
" out which comes into the Mouth, without its proceeding from 

. " the Lungs ; as alio that there are a great many parts in it 
" which receive the matter which he calls the Tafte," p* 122, 3. 
Then, taking another glafs of Claret, he defired that within two 
or three days I would get him a Hog's Head, powdered, roafled 
whole. I deiired it might be on Wednefday ; for 1 was impa- 
tient ; and that, he having left me at prefent in l'uch uncertainties, 

* in the mean time I mould continue tajidefs. 

•$•$$"$• 

N« III. 
MIGRATION OF CUCKOO'S f . 

A Letter concerning the Migration of Cuckoo's, with 
their DeitrucVion of Eggs : And general Remarks con- 
cerning Eirtis Neil;, with the Speech of I^irdj. Commu- 
nicated by Mr. Martin Cheaeum, M. A. F. U.S. 

SIR, 

I HAVE often confidered, that it would be ncceffary for a 
ful Society, as we arc, to contemplate well the Migration, 
that is, the coming hither to a place that we do know, and the 

going 

f This Eflay wjs inferred by that arch veteran Poor Robin, in his annual 

.publication for 1775 ; but without any notice of the ingenious Author 



MIGRATION OF CUCKOO'S. 1:5 

going thither to a place that we do not know, of that celebrated 
Bird the Cuckoo : for I conceive that the knowledge of the 
place of his habitation in nv'mttr may " conduce to the difcovery 
'* of a very pretty phenomenon ?." 

The Bird has prudence indeed, and acts according to the way 
of the world. To ftay in the climate where he was well received 
during the continuation of prcfperity ; and then to leave his bene- 
factors amidft the chillnefs and ftorms of Fortune, till fuch times 
as he believes they have a frefh fupply for him to fpoil them of. 

" The bufinefs I would humbly recommend is, that the mem- 
" bers of the Ufeful Society, all over the realm, would themfelves, 
" or procure their inquifitivc Friends, to obferve and note down 
" the very day they firft fee or hear of the approach of that 
* ! migratory Bird the Cuckoo." P. 113. 

To promote tins the more effectually, in my judgement, ic 
might not be improper for the Secretaries of our Society to fend 
circular Letters to all School- mrdters, School-miftreffes, and to 

to whom he was indebted for it. From his great age, however, Poor Ro- 
bin may be excufed this neglect in citing his authority. He muft now 
be confider.ibly more than a hundred years old, as he began to publish hit 
Almanack early in the reign of Charles II. In this particular, he takes 
place of his feilow-labourer Francis Moore, who has been a writer tnly 
77 years. Honeft Partridge, whofe natural life was of fliortar duration, 
continues to inflruct us from the (hades — etiam mortous loquitur! 

S See in Phil. Tranf. vol. XXVI. No 315. p. 123, " A Letter from 
u the Rev. W. Dcrham, F. R. S, concerning the Migration of Birds." 
— This eminent philofopher and divine was born Nov. 26. 1657 ; and 
entered of Trinity College, Oxford, May 14, 1675. ** e was preientrd to 
the vicarage of Wargrtve in Berkthire, July 5, 16S; ; which he quitted, 
Aug. 31, 1689, for the valuable rectory of Upminflcr in ElTex. There 
he applied himfelf with great eagernefs totheftudy of nature, temalhe- 
matiiks, and natural philofophy j and became fo eminent that, he was foon 
defied F.R. S. and pioved a very ufeful and indultrious member of that 
learned body, as is plain from the many valuable papers of his in the 
Tranfiftions. Ini.716, he was made canon of Windfor; and in 1736 
had the degree of D. D. frum the univerfity of Oxford, on account of his 
gre.n learning, and " the fervices he had done to rtt'gion by the culturs 
" of natural knowledge," as was expreff&d in the dip'oma. After pub- 
lishing many valuable books, he died April 5, 1735 5 and left behind him, 
sTmongft other curioHties, a fpecimen of infects, and of m-.-ir kinds of 
feirJ<. of which he bad prcfcr»;d the male and female, 

I z all 



»i6 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

all perfons bearing a rule and authority over youth, that fhcy 
give full liberty and leave to them to go a BirdVnefling as often 
as the faid youth may think convenient : for by this means they 
may arrive at greater knowledge and preferment, than by always 
poring on their Books. " The feveral observations which they 
" make ought to be communicated to the Society." Ibid. 

I would have thefe lads enjoined to take notice what day, what 
hour, " how the wind fat," ibid, when they found any Birds-nefts 
whofe eggs had been fucked : for it is my opinion the Cuckoo 
migrates hither long before we generally hear it ; and, knowing 
his voice not to be of the cleared or moft pleafant, continues for 
fome time the fucking of raw eggs, with an intent to clear it. 

They mould likewife obfervc what nefts it chufes to borrow, to 
lay its egg in ; from whence we might probably make a good 
guefs at the commodities of the country it comes from, " whether 
«< from ward the Eafl, or any other point ;" ibid. 

Here is a noble field of contemplation for lads to ramble in : 
to confider why Jackdaws and Magpies differ in the ftruclure 
of their habitations from Tomtits and Screech-owls ; why fomc 
Birds are brought to bed in wool, fome in hair, the Martins ^in 
dirt, the Sparrows in thatch, and the Rooks on the tops of treei 
in brufh-faggots. 

There is one thing which I am forry I have forgot, u till the 
" lynx, or Wryneck, juft now come," has brought it to my 
thoughts. " This I take undoubtedly to be a Bird of paflagc : 
•' the wind has flood Southerly to-day, Westerly yeiter- 
" day," (ibid.) Easterly the preceding day, and the day before 
that Northerly : fo that we may be certain, if he came to- 
day, it was from the South; if yefterday, from the Weft; if on 
Tuefday, fiom the Eaft ; but if on Monday, from the North. 
Thus, by fixing the time of the Bird's coming, together with the 
change of the weather-cock and the blowing of the wind, wc 
may arrive to that knowledge of Migration of Birds, which will 
amount to little lefs than a demonstration. 

** But, for a further fumple, I Shall annex my observations laft 
" year. The Swallow came March the 3 ill, making a gieat out- 
" cry at his approach, as if he faw Something ilrange," p. 124. 
I was then walking ih my garden, in my new filk night-gown, and 
a velvet cap. At firft I thought he might be Surprised at fee- 
ing me in that habit, at having left me in a ftuif one lalt year : 

but, 



MIGRATION OF CUCKOO'S. 117 

but, upon further liftening to him (being verfed, as I fhall here- 
after acquaint vou, in the language of Birds), the firft word he 
fpoke diftin£tly was " Summer, Summer." J fmiled to mvfelf, 
and faid, " We old ones are not to be caught with chaff. Sum- 
" mer is a good thing indeed ; but, if you would have me be- 
" lieve that you brought it, you mould not come finglv." 

Immediately after, in a great confirmation, he cried " Smoak, 
" Smoak," in my old Lady Sparewell's kitchen chimney, where 
he had feveral years laft pad taken up his fummer's refidence. 

This fight was indeed not only to the poor bird, but likewife 
to myfelf, unufual : for it was but the night before I had buried 
the lady; and her grandfon, jolly Sir John, was that dav got in 
polletTion of her jointure. 

April the ift, 1708. The " lynx firft yelped here," p. 123, 
being a day remarkable for ieveral wife paffages. 

April the 2d. The Certhia, or Creeper, crept here, p. 124. 

April the 4th. I efpied the Ruticilla, or -Redftart, bluihiiv* 
here, ibid. 

April the 5th. I faw the Martin, and welcomed him as my 
namefake, ibid. 

April the 6th. The " Nightingale firft fang with us," ibid. 
But (he fang the day before at a lady's in the next parifh, at a vifit 
ike made there. 

April the 7th. " The Cuckoo, I was told, was heard by 
** Thomas Tatler," ibid. ; but, he being a perfon not of the bright- 
eft reputation, I could fcarce believe it till he had made a volun- 
tary affirmation of it before the Juftice. 

April the 8th. I continued from before day-break, till it was 
dark, in our home field, waiting its coming, but without fuccefs. 

" Upon the 9th of April, I heard it myfelf with great jov," 
ibid. ; and immediately (being now a widower) I plucked offmv 
flioe, to fee what coloured hair my next wife would have j and 
found two red ones, which gave me great fatisfaftion, according 
to an antient Receipt approved by many experiments. 

April the 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, I fpent each day in doing 
the fame thing, that is, hearkening to the Cuckoo. 

April the 17th, " I heard the Swift or Black Martin fqucak in 
*' a hole at my houfe, in which it has quietly built for feveral 
" years," ibid, though I never required any thing for his lodg- 
ing. His voice told me, that he was lomething indifpoled by 
I 3 his 



u* USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

his journey ; that he hoped reft might do him good. " So, it 
" being cold weather, he did not fly abroad till iome days after," 
ibid. ; when the Swallow and Martin received him with a regard 
due to fo near a relation. 

I do not know that I fpent a month more to my fatisfa£tion 
than this, upon the reception of thefe my migratory acquaintance. 
* I know this matter may feem new to fome. But Mr. Ran- 
dolph h , a noted Author (whofe Plays and Poems now bear the 
Fifth Edition, in his " Amyntas, or Impoflible Dowry," p. 206, 
tells us, that Cuckoo's do prelage conftancy ; and then intro- 
duces Mopfys, a learned Augur, with his Miftrefs Theftylis, and 
his Brother Jocailus ; where he numerates the feveral dialects that 
the Birds ufe in their language. 

The ST. Mopfus, where have you been all this live-long hour ? 
Mops. I have been difcourfing with the Birds. 
Thest. W'hv, can the Birds fpeak ? 

Jpc. In Fairyland they can. I have heard them chirp very 
good Greek and Latin. 

Mops. And our Birds talk far better than they. Anew-laid 

Ege of Sicily fhnll out-talk the braveft Parrot in Oberon's Utopia. 

The ST. But what language do they fpeak, fervant ? 

Mops. Several languages, as Cawation, Chirpation, Hoota- 

tion, Whiftleation, Crowation, Cacklehation, Skrcekation, Hif- 

iation. 

ThEST. x\nd Foolation ? 

Mops. No — that is our language ; we ourfelves fpeak that, 
that are the learned Augurs. 

The ingenious Mr. D'Urfey • was fenfible of all this ; and 
therefore, to divert the Town, has in his Play, called " The 

" Wonders 
fc Thomas Rsndolph, born June 15, 1605, was educated at Trinity 
College, Cambridge. The moil generally admired of his works (which 
coniifl of poems and plays, collected by his brother RoSert in a fif.h edi- 
tion 1664) is his " Mufes Looking-glafs," in which theie is a great va- 
riety of characters of the paflions and vice;, drawn with much truth, and 
interfpenld with fome flrok.es of natural humour. He dud in March 
3634. — Robert, who was alio a good Poet, was a ftucknt cf Chrift 
Church, vicar of Dorrington in Lincoln/hire, and died in J 67 1. 

' Thomas, or, as he was more frequently called, Tom Durfey, in the 
year 1706 brought on the ftage a performance imituled, « Wonders in 

" ihi 



MIGRATION OF CUCKOO'S. it 9 

*' Wonders of the Sun," introduced die " Kingdom of the Birds" 
with all their Croaking, Chattering, and Whifpering Language. 

It is a piece, I may venture to fay, that exc els any of his pre- 
ceding performances : a fubject fo elevated ; a confiftencj of fo 
various imnofiibilities ; fuch a multitude of characters or epifodes 
conducing to one fingle defign, to which they feem not to have 
the leaft coherence : the language of the whole, and particularly 
the eloquence of the Vice-roy in the Sun, who flutters gibberifh 
of the Author's own compofing : 

" Keelin, Scelin, Dal ley maczow, gollin bellin kendilango 
" Garzzokta blovvzin iningcr bounce, Pofflary gomon. 
" Wowla kan riggan, wawla kan roo." 

That fatirical genius which he fhews, by reprefenting Birds as 
High-fliers and Low-fliers, fufficiently declare him a complete 
matter of the Emblematic and Comic Opera. 

He fhews us what fports the Birds have in their kingdom. 
That the greateft in office there are molt gay and divertive. And 
Sir Pratler Parrot, Favourite and Hiftorian to the King, and Sir 
Owl Moufer, the King's Attorney General, are made to dance af- 
ter the French manner ; which is extremely natural, becaule they 
are both Low-fliers. 

" the Sun, or the Kingdom of the Birds, A Comic Opera," and printed 
it the fame year. He was descended from French parents who fled from 
Rochelle when it was befieged by Lewis XIV. They fettled at Exeter, 
where Mr. Durfey was born. He was the Author of 31 dramatic 
Pieces, and Songs without number. An impediment in his fpeech, which 
isfaid never to have affected him when fir.ging his own fongs, prevented 
his application to the Law, which his father intended him for. He ap- 
pears to have lived in great familiarity with the principal Noblemen and 
Wits and even fome of the crowned heads of the times in which he 
flouriftied 5 but was generally in a itate of poverty. After a very long 
life, he died Feb. 26, 1713; and was buried in St. James's Church-yard. 
Ke frequently ufed to rtlide with the Duke of Dorfet at Knole, where 
a picT-ue of him painted by Health isftill to be feen. The 67th Number 
of The Guardian was written in his favour, when grown old and poor, 
lo procure a fullhoufetoa play of bis own compofing, which was then 
going to be aded for his benefit. It is no fmall commendation of Mr. 
Durfey to have b?en loved, and, though in jocular terms, even praifed, by 
Mr. Addifon. Had he lived in an age when ballad operas v/ere fashion- 
able, he would have been efteemed a firft-rate writer, 

I 4 It 



tta USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

It is obfcrvable, that all along, whatever occafion he may have 
for bis Birds, he makes them preserve that character there, 
which they bore heretofore in another place. So, Sir Oliver 
continuss his paftime of Moufing ; and Sir Pratler is continually 
calling for his Sack, as being allowed him by his Prince : 

" O rare Parrot, Parrot ! Parrot's a Bird for the King. 
" A Cup of Sack for Parrot ; quick, quick, quick." 

His genius of the Black Bird, the emblem of jollity and con- 
tentment, affuming a human figure, defcants on his own freedom 
and happinefs in the Region of the Sun; and fatirically rail- 
lies on the vices of the under world, pitying us mortals, and 
chanting forth this raoft fublime Pindarique : 

" Whilft in eternal day, Terrey, Terrey, Rcrrey, Rerrey» 
" Hey — Terrey, Terrey, fings the Black Bird, 
" And what a world have they!" p. 67. 

Then, after a comical Dance of Birds and other creatures is 
performed, he makes the Nightingale finifh the fport in a Chorus : 

" Jug» J u g> J u g> J u g- Jug. Jug. 

" The jolly, jolly Philomel, 

" Upon the haw-thorn fings, &c." p. 69. 

But nothing is more pretty than his Epilogue, where he makes 
Cits and Ladies of his Starlings and Wagtails ; Beaux of his 
Woodcocks, Snipes of his Low-fliers, and Rooks and Hawks of 
his High-ones ; to whom he joins Ducks and Geefe for good 
Company. Cuckoo's and Owls are placed in the Galleries, and 
Swans fit ftill in the Boxes : whereas, " were they fwimining in 
«' The Thames, there were fevcral perfons prefent, whom lie 
11 need not name, that would dive to pull of their mourning 
" ftockings," denoting that Swans have black feet. 

My gravity would not give me leave to go to fee the machines, 
nor nature of the Birds which Mr. D'Urfey had brought upon 
■the Stage ; but I got one Mr. Slyford to go thither every time of 
its performance, who, coming lately into the country, gave me 
the following account. 

He fays, he was credibly informed, by the Keeper of the Firft 
Gallery, that, near adjoining to the back-fide of the Rofe-Tavern, 
and contiguous to the Play-houfe, there is a large neft, in which a 
fufficient quantity of Turtle-doves and young Pullets tre brought 

up 



MIGRATION OF CUCKOO'S. itt 

up by He and She Canary Birds, to ferve Gentlemen at a rate 
certain, not only in the performance of thefe Hieroglyphical 
Operas, but likewife on many other prefling occafions. 

My Friend afked him, if thefe Birds were not migratory, or 
kept to any one place more particular. He faid, that the chiefeft 
of them were of the migratory nature, often moving from the 
Hay Market to Drury Lane, and from Drury Lane to the Hay 
Market. 

He faid, they are at the firft much dearer than Wheat-ears, 
•\eafants with Eggs, or Ortolans. Thefe, at great expences, may 
be kept for a year or two without any migration : but, as their 
price, grows lefs, fo their wandering increafes daily ; and fome- 
times numbers of them pour themfelvcs down from Drury Lane 
and the nejis adjacent, upon Covent Garden, The Strand, and 
Fleet-ftreet, where they become ambulatory and noclivagom : 
that as for their nejis, it is oblervable, at their firft fitting, thai, 
they mnke them in fine chambers, over down and feather-beds: 
that they generally advance up two pair of ftairs the next feafon, 
>md may chance to neftle in the cock-loft at the third; from 
whence often, upon a North-eaiterly wind, they migrate into the 
Plantations ; but that he has cbterved their return from thence 
not to have been altogether fo certain. 

I have defired my Friend to feaixh further into the nature of 
thefe Birds ; which, as foon as the particulars come, to hand, I 
ihall communicate to the Publick. 

N« IV. 

Some Material Remaiks upon Mr. Anthony Van Leeu- 
wenhoeck's Microlcopical Observations on the Mem- 
branes of the Intertines and other Trypal Vessels ; 
communicated by a grave Matron in Field Lane, long 
accuilumed to Experiments of that nature. 

GENTLEMEN, Field Lane, April 29, 1709. 

" T TAKE the liberty to acquaint your Honours, that Pro- 
A " fcllbr Slaughter came to my houfe, April 7, telling me, that 
" he had lately viewed through a Microfcope a little piece of Gut, 

" which, 



lit U'SEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

"• which, k fa id, was part of the Bowels of a Woman : ant?, 
" having feparated a fmall particle tliereof from the reft, he dif- 
" covered in one of the thin Membrane*, of which for the moft 
"part the Gut is compofed, a great number of little fibres and 
•' vefilh, which lay in great multitudes over and acrofs each 
" other; asalfofome parttctes of Eat, which lay like bunches of 
" 8 va P es> on ^ c * a '^ fibres. He like wife obferved, about the 
" blood vcffcls which he difcovered fhut up as it were under the 
" outmoffc membrane, a great many fat particles lying ; from 
" whence he concluded, that the Woman who was the Owner 
" thereof had been very fat V I made him a courtefy, and 
told him, I believed the " little piece of Gut" at preient was 
the property of his Worfhip; and that the " Woman" could 
not-juftly be faid to be the " Owner:" that, by the particles of 
Far, he might conclude the Woman had been " very fat :" 
and that I agreed with him in that opinion ; adding further, 
that finee particles of Fat " lay like bunches of Grapes," it was 
very probable fhe had been the buxom wife of fome hen-pecked 
Vintner. It feems, that Gentlewoman, according as Mr. Pro- 
feiTbr Slaughter had the goodnefs to tell me, died iomething un- 
fortunately ; " and thereupon he produced two Differtations, fub- 
«• (bribed with the name of Peter Evertfe in Latin, dated March 
« \z ■ " from whence he explained to me, " that the Woman to 
*!■' whom that Gut belonged had been hanged, and that in her 
t life-time the had been troubled with tire Falling-ficknefs.'' 
He then laid down two very extraordinary maxims ; viz. 

" That, in fuch perfons as are hanged or ltrangled, as this 
« Woman was, the circulation of the blood is in a great meafure 
** interrupted by the rope," p. 54. A-id this he proved by innu- 
merable inftances of perfons, whole blood not only ftagnated, but 
whofe breath had been ftopr, and their necks broken, by that fatal 
operation. 

And, fecondly, that there is a great difference between a Dog 
that is hanged for worrying of Sheep, and a Thief that is hanged 
for Healing of them, becaufe " there will be a much greater 
" protrufion of blood" of that of a rational creature than that of a 
bealt ; and, " that the former has great concern at that time, and 

fc S,a *■' Microfcopical Obfervations on the Blood Vcffels and Mem- 

** bra nes of the Inteftines, by Mr. Anthony Van Leuwenhoeck, 

*} F. R. S." Phil. Trauf. vol. XXVI. No. 314. p. 53. 57, 

'( difmal 



THE TRYPAL VESSELS. 



"J 



h difmal thoughts of approaching death, upon account of the 
'* deferved puniftiment he undergoes, none of which things. 
** occur to Beafts," who under thofe circumftances are altogether 
thoughtlefs and unapprehensive ; fo that it is altogether untrue to 
fay of a man that is hanged, " that he died like a Dog," fince 
u his blood has fo much greater protrufion." 

And, thirdly, " that, in any fuch accidents as Hanging, Bleed- 
" ing is highly neceffary, in order to give the Blood room enough 
** for a free circulation," p. 5$. For " we muft fuppofe that a. 
u violent protrufion," or expulfion, of the Blood through the 
Tunica's of the veffels which would there coagulate, might be 
occafioned by the great and " fudden fright and forrow, 1 ' which 
at that time Jack Ketch might put the Criminal into. 

To divert him a little from this melancholy fubjedt, I took a 
large piece of Double-tripe out of the kettle, and, placing it 
before him in a clean difh, with Muftard, Vinegar, and Onion, 
juft by, I defired him, if he pleafed,, to dilTeft and eat of it ; and 
that he was heartily welcome. 

I told him, that at prefent this Tripe " belonged to me }" 
that it formerly had been in the poffeiTion of an Ox ; that it was 
never " troubled with the Falling-ficknefs," till it was knocked 
down by the Butcher, that he might the more eafily cut its throat ; 
and in that manner it died, as " a great many other animals lolc 
" their lives by the fpilling of their Blood," ibid. To this I at- 
tributed the delicate whitenefs of my Tripe : whereas I believed I 

fhould have found the " Tunicas or coats of the fmall Veffels 

«« extended, and the Blood philtrated through them lying dry in 

•* little lumps upon the extreme membrane," in cafe the Ox had 

been hanged. And I then {hewed A 

him how very fat my Double-tripe 

was ; upon which, taking a picture 

out of his pocket, he cried, " Oh ! 

M in thele fat particles are the Grapes 

" exactly;" p. 53. " the Bunch only 

• wants a Stalk." The Picture he 

gave me, and according to that 

draught a copy of it is here de- 

Jincared, as Figure A ; 

Then, 





U4 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

Then, looking upon the 
,Jj I fmooth part of the Single- 
tripe, which was extreme- 
ly (leak and clean, he pro- 
duces another Pitture, which 
he did me the honour like- 
wife to give me. Prav, 
Madam, fays he, accept of 
this drawn by my own 
hand, from the Membranes 
beforementioned. You fee 
the various crevices in it, 
as appears by the Figure 
marked B. 

From the crevices in the Hand, the Learned have framed the 
Art of Palmiftry, or Chiromancy ; from the wrinkles in the Fore- 
head, that of Metapofcopy : but the moft noble of all is, that 
which the Romans ufed, called Arufpicy, or Extifpacy. That 
great people, when they facrificed, caufed fome of their nobleft 
perfons to open and view the bowels and entrails of the beafts ; 
and thence to foretell things likelv to happen to the commonwealth. 
Now, Madam, fays he, when you know that an Ox is killed for a 
Lord Mayor or a Sheriff's Feait, it will be eafy for you to get the 
Tripal parts, and thence to learn what would be the fucceffes of 
the year enfuing. If " the Blood mould be protruded fo as to 
" ftagaate and lie coagulated upon the outward membranes," it 
would fignify a plentiful Seffion j and that, in all probability 
there would be " decent Executions." If the colour of the fat 
Panicles mould be verv bright and yellow, it might denote that 
Goldimiths Hall would be a proper place for his Lordfhip to 
keep his Mavoralty in. If the figures lhould appear in the fhape 
of grape-, as aforementioned (Figure A.) then Vintners Hall 
would be molt proper for him. And if the crevices mould appear 
reticular, or like a net, then Fifhmongers. 

Upon this, I thaaked Mr. Profcifor ; and told him, that here- 
after I would make my obfervations upon the Entrails as they 
came to me : that I was proud to think that fo great a nation as 
the Roman ihould condefcend to be fkilled in my Trade, and that 
lhould make me moie diligent for the future: that, at another 
time, it he would do me the honour of a vil;t, he mould fee the 
; " Crop 



THE TRYPAL VESSELS. 125 

" Crop of the Rand," and all the various mazes of the Honey- 
comb Tripe in perfe&ion, which, by a Microfcope, could not but, 
in his own expreflion, " appear wonderful." 

Our farther converfation was interrupted by a Patient that came 
to the ProfelTor ; but, when I fee him next, I doubt not but that 
I (hall have fomething new to communicate to the Publick. In 
the mean time, I hope your Honours will believe me a well-wilher 
to Ufeful Experiments ; and that I am, with due fubmiffion, 

Your Honours, &c. 



N° V. 

An Hiftorical and Chronological Account of Confecrated 
Clouts. Communicated by the Ingenious and Learned 
Virtuofo Signior Giovanni Barberixi, of Chel- 
sognia. Occafioned by a Paflage in the Poft-Boy, that 
the Pope has lately made a Prefent of the fame nature to 
the Young Prince of Asturias. 

THOUGH fome modern Authors, out of fpleen and prejudice, 
oppofe the great antiquity of Confecrated Clouts, and would 
fiuk them down many ages beneath their antient date and original: 
yet the Primitive Writers are not filent on fo material a point of 
Ecclefiaflical Hiftory ; and we have fufficient authority to traoe 
them as far backward as the middle of the Sixth Century, from 
the following ftory. 

When Bojiiface the Third was advanced to the Papal Chair, 
with a fatherly care and piety becoming fo great a Prelate, he 
promoted his relations and natural ilTue to the molt eminent ftations 
both in Church and State. One old Aunt only was left unpro- 
vided for, who had many years lived a Semftrefs of repute under 
a bulk in Rome : but it was now thought by his Holinefs not fo 
honourable, that me mould longer continue to make dowlat 
fhirts for footmen, or vend coarfe focks for the unfanclified feet of 
the vulgar. The young Princefs of Parma being big with child, 
Pope Boniface was dcfired to do a neighbourly office, and (land 
godfather to the fon and heir that about that time was expe£ted 
into the world. He, being frugal in his nature, and knowing 

what 



i25 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

what a Heathcnifli expcnce the luxury of the times had run it np< 
to, in prefenting GoiTips and Midwifes, and giving to Nurfes, 
Chambermaids, and Butlers — that, in return for Lambs-wool, 
Cake, and Groaning-cheeie — the child muft haveprefents of Silver 
Caudle-cups, Porringers, Spoons, and Suck-bottles, and thoffl 
often with the additional expence of double-gilt. Having therefore 
maturely considered theie things, he very prudently makes an ac- 
curate collection of old Shirts, and orders his fagacious Aunt to 
transform them with her utrnoft fkill and management into a fete 
of Chikl-bed-linen ; which, having received the grand ceremony 
of his Holinefs's benediction, with a plain but decent fett of Coral- 
bells and Whiflle, the old Lady is fent EmbafTadrefs extraordinary 
with this fpiritual prefent for the carnal pofteriors of his young 
Parmezan Highnefs. 

To give the better turn to this new miiuon, three or four old 
women were laid-in at thefirft ftage on the road, that were ordered 
to be mightily afflicted with the tooth-ach ; but the fanctifiecl 
Clouts were applied with wonderful fucr.els to their luminous 
cheeks, that by their primary inftitution were calculated only for 
the blind ones of the future Prince of Parma. Thev were received 
at court with that excefs of joy and gratitude that fo unexpected 
and furprizing a blefhng deferved ; and as the confecrated bundle 
promoted the bearer of them to an annual Penfion, a coach and 
fix ; fo we muft do them this Juftice, to fay they proved won- 
derful and infallible prefervatives againft all manner of Fits, Loofe- 
nefs, and Rickets : they did the whole buiinefs of Black Cherry 
Water and Goddard's Drops l : and, when compleatly fouled, 
they did not require half that profufion of foap fuds that is necef- 
fary to reftore common and unfan&ihed Clouts to a fecond appli- 
cation. 

This whimfical prefent from Old Infallibility gained wonder- 
ful credit and efteem in the world ; and a Royal confort no fooner 
began longing for Green Peas, in December, and Ripe Cherries 
at Chriftmas, but the next word was, " My Dear, I ihall never 
" have a good time of it, unlels. you get me a bundle of Con- 
" fecrated Clouts ; I cannot but fancy 1 miicarried the laft time 
" for want of them. Why, there is the Princefs of Parma could 
4t have them, I warrant you, brought by "his Holinefs's own Aunt, 

* A foporific medicjue, not yet c^uire out of vo&ue. 

" an<3 



OF CONSECRATED'CLOUTS. u 7 

" and a chopping boy came tumbling out after them — and fare, 
" my Dear, I am as good as flie ; for my Father had a Crown on 
" his head, when hers carried but a commiilion in his pocket." 
In fliort, this fort of Ware was fo much in vogue, and turned to 
fo good account, that the price of 50,000 Crowns was let on 
them by the Confiflory, and a Holy-Lumber Office erected for 
the benefit of Infants, Royal Commiflioncrs of the Childbed 
Duty appointed, and a handfome yearly income by it flowed 
into the Pope's Exchequer. And from that time forward, from 
the mighty Emperors of the Eaft and Well, down to the Kin<*5 
of the Ifle of Man, the German Princes, and the innumerable 
Monarchs of North and South Wales, they were all furnished 
from the Holy-Clout Office at a ftated rate, from the Whiiile 
and Suck-bottle down to the Go-gart and Leading-firings. 

For the two fucceeding centuries this continued a moft con- 
fiderable and flourishing branch of riie revenue of the Papal 
Chair ; but then unfortunately came on that long, bloody, and 
expcnfive war, known by the Name of bc/j; which impoverished 
our Chriftian Kings and Princes to thai degreej and reduced 
their illuftrious Families to that low ebb of cam, and want of the 
ready, that, for the fpace almoft of three following ages, our 
European Queens were forced to run on tick for Baby-cloaths, 
and take in every rag from Rome on the Strength of Royal credit. 
To remedy theie grand inconveniences, and fecure the mighty 
i'ums that Monarchy flood engaged for to the Apofiolical Cham- 
ber for Swaddling-clouts, a large and fubfiantial Vellum Shop- 
book was ordered into the Audit-houfe ; and a Commiilion of a 
Foreman and two Clerks erected, for the fending out of bills, 
and writing dunning letters, to all Chriftian Emperors, Kings, 
and Princes. 

And this (fays my companionate Author, like a good Catho- 
lick) was that unhappy age, when the great debts and neceflities 
of our Holy Mother Church put her lirft upon fophifiicating 
her good fhple-ware, and debafmg her vendible commodities, 
that She had hitherto managed with great profit, credit, and re- 
putation. But now, like a decaying Cic, flie began to put off 
counterfeit Coral for good, her Bells, Suck-bottles, and Whittles, 
were not Sterling, and wanted weight as well as the Hall-mark; 
flie would fell you Go-carts and Rattles for new, that were but 
fecond-hand j and, on her honeft Pontifical void, recojnnead to 
you Dowlas, Locrum, or Kerning Swaddling-bands, fojr fupejfiae 
6 Holland 



i2S USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

Holland and Cambrick of the beft. By which means, •uflom 
fell ftrangely off; and Die loft the bufmefs of many good and 
fubftantial families. 

About the latter end of the thirteenth or beginning of the 
fourteenth century, out comes Pope Leo, with a thundering Bull, 
in the nature of a Commiflion of Bankrupt, againft the Houle of 
Auilria, eight Crowned Heads, and three hundred German and 
Italian Princes, for vaft lums of money, and long arrears clue to 
the Holy-Clout Office, and Chamber of Accompts. Commif- 
fioners were appointed to meet twice a week at the Triple Hev 
Tavern in the Flaminian Way ; and a competent number of 
anathema's, in the nature of Spiritual Catchpoles, were directly 
iffued out againft all that fhould refufe to come in, and difcharge 
their refpeftive incumbrances, or give bond and fecurity to the 
fatisfa&ion of the Court. 

But, after many delays and remonftrances againft fo public a 
grievance, a compofition was agreed on of five (hillings in the 
pound, and a longer time allowed for paying off the old fcorea 
and clearing the debt. And, to prevent all inconveniences of 
this nature for the future, and for the better encouragement of 
cuftomers to bring ready money, and get good penny-worths, the 
price of a complete lett of Baby Clouts, and all necellary equip- 
ments fit for infants, was funk down from 50,000 to 10,000 
crowns : but then it was all clear gain ; you found your own 
materials, and paid only for the ceremonv and benediction. This 
Order of the Confiftory was publifhed with a Not a Bene, " No 
** goods delivered without the money down, or fufficicnt fecurity 
•' given." 

In this fiatc of fair barter and fale this matter continued till 
towards the latter end of the fifteenth century ; and then we find, 
by the public regifter and accompts of the Apoitolic Chamber, 
rhat the price was beat down 2000 crowns, and a mortgage of 
plate and jewels accepted for the remaining fum on the deficiency 
of ready cam. For the good old Dowager of Modena m , Anno 

m Defcended from the ancient Houfe of Erte. She was mother to 
Maria Beatrix, whom Lewis XIV. adopted as his daughter, and pre- 
fented with « fuitable portion upon her marriage with James then duke 
of York : when (he was reduced, at the Revolution, to feck for flicker in 
France, flie > was kindly received by Lewis, who treated her with 3 ge« 
nerofity that did him much honour. She died at St. Cermains, April 26, 
>7*8. 

1688, 



OF CONSECRATED CLOUTS. 129 

1688, being defirous to equip her young- granclfon his Wtifh. 
Highnefs's pofteriors with a choice fett of Holy Catholic Clout;, 
and being a good Market-woman and hard bargainer, (he pro- 
cured a complete equipage, coniifting of Mantle, Swathe, Clout?, 
and Whiffle, &c. for the fum of 8000 crowns : though it is re- 
ported bv feveral creditable Authors, that his Holinefs at the 
fame time made a folemn proteftation he was a lofer by the bar- 
gain, and that he would not have funk the price fo manifeftly to 
tlie prejudice of the public revenue, was it not in hopes of en- 
gaging the cuftom of the Family of D'Efte, and having the 
honour of feiving England for the future, that, on fome little cltf- 
guft, had laid out their money at other fhops for near two ages. 
But, the old lady not having the whole fum by her, and the Pope 
little faith, fhe was forced to fend into Limbo the great Gilt 
Bafon and Ewer that graced the Side-board on Coronati')" , 
R'maldo's old Goblet, her Ear-rings, Crbfslet, and Necklace, to 
her very Silver Tea-pot and Gold Spoons. 

Having thus given you an hiftorical and chronological account 
of the origin and growth of Confecrated Clouts, and of the dif- 
ferent fate and fuccefs that has attended them through fo many- 
ages, viz. from the fixth to the feventecnth century ; it may 
not be improper in this place to tell vou how Authors differ on 
this fubjett. There are not wanting men of learning and cha- 
racter, that affirm Pope Joan was the firft inftitutor of this cere- 
monv, and invented thefe confecrated prefents as rewards for the 
Nurfcs and Midwives that attended and delivered her of three or 
four Nephews, it being contrived for their benefit, that other 
Crowned Heads mould pay for her lyings-in. Perhaps you may 
be furprized at the exprefhon of " being delivered of a Nephew ;" 
but that is a peculiar privilege the Pope referves to himfelf, let 
his children be never fo many : yet the moment he is promoted 
to the chair, they ceafe to be fons and daughters like the com- 
mon offspring of the world, but commence Nephews and Nieces 
from the very hour of his exaltation. 

I might here likewife mention a fchifm that crept into the 
Clout office about the ninth centurv, occasioned by Starchanelli, 
the Pope's Laundrefs, counterfeiting the goods, and vending falfe 
ware to ieveral illuftrious families : but fhe was condemned by a 
General Council for her crime, with a fevere fentence : and after- 

Vol. II. K wards 



i 3 o t'bEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

wards growing penitent, (he turned Crinp Laundrefs, went to the 
Holy War, and wafhed foot folclie'rs that had ihirts out of love 
and charity. 

And now, Sir, perhaps you will afk me the ufe and application 
of this Difcourfe ; which when you hear, may be very furprizing 
and out of the way, when I tell you it is, to prove the title ot 
Charles the Third " to the Crown of Spain ; to demonftrate his 
being the rightful and lawful Prince ; and that the Duke of Anjou 
lias no pretence to, and is only an ulurper of, the Catholic 
Throne. 

And this I fhall prove from a paragraph in a late Port Boy, 
now to be feen in my Repofitory, that his Holinefs has made a 
prcient, and freely given a fett of Confecrnted Clouts to the 
young Prince of Afturias, the Duke of Anjou's fon : which can- 
not be done to a lawful Monarch, without violating all former 
precedents, and breaking in upon the very conftitution of the 
Vatican. To a private perfon, fuch as his Baker, Butcher, or 
Shoe-maker, he may freely give a benediction of this nature, 
without trefpafling upon ordinances and ftatutes : but to lawful 
Kings and Princes the Hated price is f.t ; it is out of Ids power to 
give ; and I dare affirm, that the very virtue and quality of the 
Clouts would be lo'd, if the utmolf. farthing was not paid down 
on the nail. I would therefore have his Holinefs coafider what 

n The archduke Charles of Auftria (ferond fon to the emperor Leo- 
pold 1 ), to whom the Spanifh crown was allotted by the two treaties of 
partition, of T698 and 17CO. Charles the Second of Spain, pro- 
voked at the indignity of parceling out his dominions without his eonfenr, 
and urged by the intrigues of the Marfhal de Harcourt with the cardinal 
I'orto-carero, (fee " The Way to Modern Preferment," iii our firft vo- 
lume, p. 185.) by a will made about a month before his death, bequeathed 
his monarchy entire to Philip duke of Anjou, fecond fon to the dauphin 
of France ; with a very dillant remainder to the archduke Chjrles. The 
king of Spain dying Nov. 1, 17C0, Philip was proclaimed at Madrid on 
the 24th of that month ; and was acknowledged as king bch by England 
and Holland. Yet the Grand Alliance was concluded, Sept. 7, 1701,1'n 
fupport of the emperor's pretentions. Leopold and his elderl fon the 
king cf the Romans having refigned their right to the aichduke, the 
latter was declared king of Spain, by the title of Charles III, Sept. 12, 
1703. Ke was unanimoufly ele£Ved emperor, Oft. 12, 171 1, on the death 
of his brother Jofeph ; and died Oct. 20, 1740. 

a faltc 



OF CONSECRATED CLOUTS. 13 r 

n falfe ficp he has made, and how far by this he has weakened 
his friend Philip's title to the Monarchy of Spain: and, unlefs 
he fpeedily fends in his bill, lays claim to the debt, and out of 
hand arrefts him for the monev, this may be brought as evidence 
a'gainft him into the Heralds-office, to invalidate his pretenfions, 
and may be one fubftantial roafon to fend him packing from 
Madrid. 



K % USEFUL 



[ *3fi ] 

USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

PART ILL 

Foi May, June, July, August, and September, 1709. 

CONTAINING 

A Voyage to the Ifland of Cajamai in America. 

Giving a brief Account of the Natural Rarities, Inhabitants, 
and Difeafes, of the Country : together with their Cures, 
after the Method ufed by Jasper Van Slonenbergh, a 
Learned Mernder of the Royal Virtuosi of Great 
Britain, in the Relation he has given ot his Voyages 
Into thofe Parts. 

Tranflatcd into English from the Dutch. 

•* Still Fame will grow, if once abroad it file, 

" Whether it be a troth, or be a lie." M. Drayton. 



PREFACEOFTHEPUBLISHERj- 

TH E World having been fo taken up with Wars, Treaties, 
and other Political Amufeinents, Poetry and Philofophv have 
of late found little encouragement: fo that ufeful Trearifes in 
Natural and Experimental Phiiofophy have in a maimer been laid 
afide by the Curious. 

However, the PuUifher of thefe Tran fact ions was refolved not 
to be totally difheartened. After a diligent fearch of what proba- 
bly migh* pleafe, he considered that the liking of the Town ge- 
nerally runs in the fame vein tor feme time together. At one 
feafon nothing pleafes but Novels, then Tranilations from the 
French, then Tragedies, when on a fudden all vanifhes into 
Operas 5 then nothing will take place but Difcourles concerning 
the Church) and all people arm themfelves with arguments as to 
its fafety, rites, and discipline ; then all again is fwallowcd up 
in Bickerflaff's Allrological Predictions and Tatling p. But 
that which feeras moll generally to have prevailed, is the pleafure 

• By Dr. Swift, and printed in his Works, vol. III. 
.», Mr.. Steele y,as atthavtims enja^ed in the Tatler. 

taken 



PREFACE TO PART III. 133 

taken from the perufal of accounts given by Travellers. The 
fuccel's at Daricn 1 gave no inconfuierabL* amuferaents, nor were 
D.impier's r relations lefs acceptable to the Ladies than the men 
ot buiinefs. Pfalmanazar s , by defcribing the Ifland of Formofa, 
with the ceremonies of their human and bloody facrificcs, of their 
garments, fhocs, garters, and top-knots, was refpedred bv the 
moll Learned and mod Curious, who were defirous of feeing 
him eat bis Beef, Mutton, and fecond Courfe, as they came raw 

1 A colony, eftablifhed by the Scots, in T6cg, at great cxpence, on :he 
ifthmus of Darien, between South and Nor.h America. This eftabli/h- 
ment, unlike the bloody conquells of the Spaniards, was formed by agree- 
ment with the natives of the country. But the Spaniards complaining that 
it was 2n infraction of treaty ; and the Englifh, that it would ruin their 
commerce ; the fettLmsnt was reluctantly abandoned in 1700. 

r See vol. III. p. 91. 

- George Pfalmanazar was the fictitious name of a very extraordinary 
perfon, who was undoubtedly a Frenchman born, and received his edu- 
cation in a college of Jefuits in an archiepifcopal city, the name or 
which, and alfo of his birth-place and parents, remain inviolable fecrets. 
At the age of Sixteen, he fell into the wild project of palfi.ng t r a Formo- 
fan ; and fet himfelf to form a new character and language, a grammar, a 
d viF.on of the year into twenty months, a new religion, &c. — After 
beir.g three months in London, he was cried up as a prodigy, and was fet 
to trmflate the church catechifm into the Formofm language; and was 
prevailed on to write the well-known " Hifiory of FormoSa." fie was 
fent by the Bimop of London to Oxford, to purfus iiich itudhs as he 
mould feem inclined to ; and had all the advantages of learning that the 
university could afford him. Among oth;r practices to obtain ct. j dit wi;b 
the publirk, he ufed to take a prodigious quantity of opium, and eat 
fi is meat raw (which he foon habituated himfelf to b\ ufing a good deal 
of pepper and fpices). On his return to London, he continued, for 
about ten years, to indulge a habit of idlenefs and extravagance. Some 
aofurdities, however, otferved in his Hifiory, effectually difcredited the 
whole relation, and faved him the trouble, and his friends the mortifi- 
cation, of an open confcflion of his guilt. He feemed, through a 
long courfe of life, to abhor the impofture ; and, in a work compiled by 
him, intituled, " A Syftem of Geography," 2 vols, folio, made an exprefs 
■declaration of it to the world (which he folemnly confirmed by his laff w;l! 
uatcd Jan. 1, 1760). His ltarning and ingenuity, in his latter days, pro- 
cured him a comfortable fubfiftence from his pen. He was concerned in 
compiling and writing Several works of credit ; particularly the Univerfal 
Hifiory, and the Hifiory of Printing published as Mr. Palmer's} and lived 
»>cT>>larily for many years. He died in 1763, aged S4. 

K- i from 



134 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

from the Clerk of the Kitchen, without the unncceliary help of 
a Cook to alter their natural flavour. Even the description of the 
New Atalantis % from the fluency of its ftyle, and the tender- 
nefs of its lovo-exprelhons, gained upon feveral hearts, who were 
not cautious enough to obferve what might lye under them ; 
nor fo wife as to confider that it is fafer talking of Ants, Elc- 

t Mrs. Manley, daughter of Sir Roger Manley, a zealous Royalift, 
was early in life cheated into marriage with a near relation, of her owa 
name, who had at the fame time a former wife living. Deferted by her 
hutband, (he was patronized by the duchels of Cleveland, a miftrefs of 
Charles II; but the duchefs, who was of a fickle temper, grew tired of Mrs. 
Manley in fix months, and difcharged her on pretence that (he intrigued 
with her fon. Re. king into folitude, (he wrote her firft tragedy, " The 
*' Royal Mifchief," acted in 1696, with great fuccefs. In the fame 
year, (he alfo publi/hed " The loft Lover, or jealous Hufband," a comedy. 
In her leifere hours (he wrote the " Atalantis;" for which, as ihe had 
made free in it with feveral diftinguiftied characters, her printer was ap- 
prehended, by a warrant from the fecretary's office. Mrs. Manley, un- 
willing an innocent perfon fhould fuffer, prefented herfelf before the 
court of King's bench as the author. Loid Sunderland, then fecretary of 
flate, being curious to know from whom fhe got information of feveral 
particulars which were fuppofed above her own intelligence ; fhe replied, 
with great humility, " that fhe had no defign in writing, further than 
" her own amufement and diverfion in the country, without intending 
" particular reflections and characters ; and did afiure them that nobody 
*' was concerned with her." When this was not believed, and the con- 
trary urged againft her by feveral circumftances ; fhe faid, " then it muft 
*' be by infpiration ; becaufe, knowing her own innocence, (he could ac- 
*' count for it no other way." Whether thofe in power were afhamed to 
bring a woman to trial for a few amorous trifles ; or whether (her cha- 
racters be'ng under feigned names) the law did not actually reach her ; 
ihe was difcharged after feveral public examinations. On the change of 
the Miniflry, /lie lived in reputation and gaiety. A fecond edition of a 
volume of her Letters was published in 1713- Several political pamphlets, 
to which (he contributed largely, are printed in the " Supplement to Dr. 
M Swift's Wi>rks." *' Lucius," a well-received tragedy, was written by 
her, and acted in 1717. It wvs dedicated to Sir Richard Steele, whom 
fhe had abufed in her " Atalantis," but who was then on fuch friendly 
terms with her, that he wrote the prologue to this play, as Mr. Prior dTd 
the epilogue. While the was employed in defence of the Miniffry, fhe 
connected herfelf with Mr. Barber the printer; and with him fhe lived 
until the time of her death, which happened in his houfe, Jul_y 11, 1724. 

pliants, 



PREFACE TO PART III. 135 

phants, Hedge-hogs, and Butterflies, than of pcifons of quality 
uudcr the moft fecret duguifes. 

The Publisher of thefe Papers therefore thought this Treatife 
might give fome iatisfaction to the Learned World. It \vas 
written in Dutch by the accurate Dr. Jafper Hans Van Slonen- 
bergh, a nerfon whofe name carries reputation along with it. 
It is filled with variety of knowledge: the Author is modeft; 
his ftyle humble ; his oblcrvations, raifed from the appearances of 
things, made as trfeful as they poffibly could be j for it is truth 
that Natural Philofophers muft fearch after, and not ornamental 
expreffions. ** Feeding of Fowl," Intr. p. 16, 17 ; " the educa- 
** tion and difcipline of Swine," p. 30, 31 ; " the making of Beds, 
"the untying of Breeches, and loofening of Girdles," p. 47, 
with many other things defcribed by this Author, may feem at 
firft to be trivial, yet contain in them great penetration of thouglii 
and depth of judgement. By thefe means philofophers fearch into 
the receffes of Nature ; which though to nice perfons they may 
not appear fo cleanly, yet have not therefore the lefs ufe in the 
animal ceconomv. Dr. Van Slonenhergh, in this Difcourfe, pro- 
pofed to himfelf, as far as he could, the example of a Britiih Au- 
thor u , who, in the year 1707, publifhed a large Folio of his 
Voyages into the American Iflands, and is defervedly efteemed by 
the Curious. He has traced his methods and expreffions, as 
Virgil did rhofe of Homer and Theocritus, and (as it is the com- 
mon opinion) with equal fuccefs : but that and the performance 
of the Translation out of Dutch muft be left to the candour of 
the Reader. I know it will be objected to the following papers, 
that many things fcem impertinent ; that moft are fuch as were 
known without traveling; that an old woman could effect fuch 
cures ; and that the obi .nations, which run fometimes a little 
upon the nafj, are made from the meaneft actions of mankind, 
and the very dregs of Nature. To this I fhall only reply, that 
fuch perfons ought to be quiet, rather than to expofe their own 
ignorance and want of reading ; for they muft fhew themfelves not 
to have ftudied any late Tranfactions of Philofophy, and that they 
do not know the methods of gaining a reputation at prefent, and 
carrying the Modern Learning far above any thing that could be 
pretended to by the Ancients. 

J See an account of Sir Hans Sloane, above, p, 3, 

£ 4 PRE- 



i 3 6 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

PREFACE OF THE AUTHOR. 

<f TT if. now /even years fince I went Surgeon, Apothecary, 

JL " and Chief Phyhcian, to the Count Dhona, to Caiamai," 
Pn.f. p. i. "I had been in my youth very much pieafetl with 
" the ltudy of plants, and had feen moll of thofe kinds of curi- 
•• ofkjes which were either in the fields or gardens of the curious 
" in thefe parts." In my infancy, being left to the care of an 
uncle I had in Ireland, I had fearched into the nature of Water- 
grafs and Chambrook or all kinds, ami I tound the pungency of 
the former very much corrected by a lump of raw Butter eaten 
V'th it, p. 64. As 1 grew op, 1 was admitted into the Potato- 
garden, the cultivation of which I (hall difcourfe of hereafter. I 
found Potatoes to be an earthy, flatulent, mealy, infipid fofc of 
food ; hut, fearching among the records of our Family, I dilco- 
vexed that they were to he rendered more nutritive and delicious 
by the vehicle of Burter-milk. I was not above fifteen, before I 
had feen various farts of Beans, Peafe, and Barley, in the cabinets 
of oui neighbouring Virtuoli. 

Having one day plealed my uncle, he gave mc fome of his 
fueeziyg; which, upon my enquiry, be told me was made of 
" Tobacco," p. ib ; the fame herb that the Family ihoit Pipe uied to 
be iilied with ; and that, being twilled like a cord, ferves for a 
chaw, and fupplies the want of provifion ; hut that it grew a 
treat many miles from our country. 

Tins i.iipiied me with a defire of '' cafting npy mite towards the 
»« advancement of natural knowledge. To deferve a place amontjft 
•• liie great and worthy pcrion-:, the ancient and heft Phvlicians, 
•• who tun tiled to the places whence their drugs were brought, 
•■ to inform themlelves concerning them,'' p. 64. 

I had praclifcd fome time when, the Count Dhona Setting out 
fni Caiamai, "Dr. Swammerdam was employed by him to look 
*■• out for one that could take care of him and his family in cafe of 
«• tickiiels. The Dcfloi lpake to me in this matter, and I relolved 
c togOi providediome preliminaries and conditions" (as the Rhino, 
the burly, &c.) " were agreed to ; which were all granted," 
Pref. p. 2. 

1 could not " take fuch care" of the Count and his Family as I 
would have done, '< nor make fuch experiments and ohlervations 

« in 



PREFACE TO PART III. i 37 

" in the vovage as 1 intended, being prevented by a very long and 
" tedious fea iicknefs," ibid. Some or the women, that had done 
puking, afked me, " Doftor, Why don't you cure yourfelf ? 
To which I replied, Sea-hckncfs was not in my *' preliminaries 
" nor conditions ;" and then difcourfed to them concerning the 
nature of Saline Panicles, Aquatic Exhalations, unufual Vibra- 
tion and Tolutation of the Interlines, p. 3, 4, (of which more 
hereafter); but they feemed to have little apprehenfion of fuch 
philofophical ideas, being immediately called away to dinner. 

" Upon my arrival at Cajamai, I fearched feveral places for 
" natural productions, meafuring their feveral parts by my 
" thumb," p. 2. Now/s/fe.v being Latin both for a Thumb and 
an lncb, I thought " my Thumb, with a little allowance, might 
u be reckoned an Inch ;" that is, fpeaking of human Thumbs j 
for a Cow's Thumb is onlv a figurative exprefiion. 

I obferved that " the leaves of Plants are greeneft on their 
" Uppefmolt fides, or that expofed to the fun-beams ; and lighter, 
" and (note whitifh and? rncath," p. 3. I thought it a iufricicnt 
fCcompcnce of mv " fea-ficknclV and labour, to find fuch ?. har- 
monv m Nature; " this UeiWg fo not only in Cajamai, hot in 
" all places where I have been." Whereupon I fell upon this 
fel'ious contemplation, " That, when leaves or tops of plants 
" hate not beet] expofed to the light and fun, thev are not only 
*• whiter, bat tenderer, and often digeftable by our Stomachs," 
ibid.; and this is moft apparent in Cabbages, whofe inward leaves, 
being contorted, involved, and conglomorated into a circular fort 
</t figure, and defended horn the " light and fun," p. 4, by 
many ambient leaves, that envelope the inward and unexpa.idel 
circumferences, I have known them boiled and eaten by Taylors 
and other perfons of very good fafhion " Hop Tops" ibid, are 
like-wife excellent good, and " Afparagus" juft fprouting. It 
\ Id be too long to enumerate " Lettuce, Chardons, Se&fy, and 
" Endives," all rendered white and tender bv only being covered 
with earth from the fun and light ; for theft we fee in our Kit* 
c! en-gardens, without travelling. " I have known a common 
" Bramble put into a dark room (ar Dr. Newton's near Illington) 
" whole ttyigs were iv*hife and tender," p. 3 ; but afterwards com- 
ing to the Jun and i\p\~. it produced Black bei ties. It is obferva- 
bte " in Tulips, at r.rlt fprouting, they arc all whitifh, then 
" green/ J p. 3 , which, if they at that time expan I themlclvcr. 

are 



i3? USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

arc called " Pariors ," but, when " the fun and light has fuither 
" acred upon them, we obfervc them with pleafure," till they ar- 
rive at rh.it fwarthy or rather footy complexion, which makes 
them be called *f Chimney Sweepers." I know fome Philofophers 
do not attribute fuch active qualities to light ; and tell us that 
Rofes a»d Mulberries were white, till tinged with the blcud of 
Adonis, and that of Pyrarnus and Thifbe, by which they became 
of a deeper <!>. e "■" ; but theic are of the Hermetic llrain, and perfons 
that we Botanifts look upon to be madmen. 

1 mult own tin obligations I have to the labours of Monfieuf 
Flumier, who went into the Caribec Iflands, " and obferved many 
"plants very acurately; he has engraved them himfelf, and 
"printed a Book, which con fills chiefly of Ferns; to which I 
"have added feveral new fpecies," p. 3,4. I was the more 
pleated with this ]>ock, becaufe it treats of Ferns or plants^ 
which is of great ufe in our country, not only to brew and bake 
with, but likewiie for its allies ; " in my youth," I have been pe- 
culiailv carious concerning it, and caufed hundreds, I may fay 
jthoufauds, to be dug up, to fee if upon cutting the root any two 
of them might have the lame figures painted in them by Nature, 
which i could never find. I have been likewife very curious 
abou: Fern-feed, and would very fain have got fome 5 but, being 
informed bv.levcv.il people of good confederation, that the Devil 
held it fur his property, and that he goes out every Midfummer^ 
night to gather it ; upon confulting the Curate of our Village, 
and he holding it unlawful for me to ft rive for it ; out ot con- 
fcience, I derifted. I was told, it might be fafely gathered in 
Cajamai ; but, after diligent fearch, could not find it io : for I am, 
very far from a Conjurer, " heing fenfible of my faults, not only 
" in mv opinions, which I propofe only as conjectures ; but that I 
" have many, imperfe&ions in my language and in my pbferva- 
" tions themiches, which were generally written in hafte, and by 
** one who knows too well how unduly qualified," p. 4, he is for, 
fuch an undertaking; and therefore, when 1 talk of " Monope- 
" talous, Diperalous, Tripetalous, Tetrapetalous, Pentapetalous, 
" and Esapetalous Plants; and of Quadrupeds, Teftaceous, and 
..rial 1 ," p. 6, 1 would have my Reader underftand. 
that they arc no magical terms, but fignify only, One, Two, 
; , Four, Five, or Six-leaved Flowers, Four-footed Beafts, or 

* As Qvid in his Wetamorphofif, and Majerus in his Emblems. 
s . 6 Animals 



PREFACE TO PART III. 139 

Animals with Shells on their backs. " I know it is impoffible to 
*' cfcape the cenfure of fcveial loits of men, as the envious and 
"malicious; I am fure they will fparc no pains to find fault," 
p. ult. ; but if, for the future, " they ihould endeavour" to render 
any " Diflertations of this kind ridiculous," however they may 
look upon " themfelves as great Wit;,," yet I fliall think them 
" very ignorant, and to underfband nothing of the argument, and, 
" upon ferious coniideration, mall treat them with the urine ft 
u contempt." 

If " any perfons" therefore " fliall afk to what purpofe ferve 
" fuch accounts" as thefe I make, I (hall only tell them what is 
reported of Gabriel Naude x , " That he ufed to fav he acquiefced 
" in the Ecclefiaftical Hiftory, doubted the Civil, and believed 
" the Natural ;" and that fuch forts of men as " thefe great 
" Wits," p. ult. have " been in all ages readv," not only to 
ridicule " the publication of fuch Woiks," but " even to abufe 
"their Princes, and blafphtine their .Maker ;" and therefore I 
would have all fuch as do not with Naude believe " Natural 
" Hiftorv," and niine in particular, to be delivered over to the 
fecular power, to undergo the pillory or gibbet, and by ecclefiafti- 
cal anathema's to be fent to the Devil and his AngcL. 

AUTHOR'S INTRODUCTION. 

MY Introduction, though it may feem fomething long, yet 
from the variety of matter, and feveral furprizing though 
common accidents, may to the curious and obierving Reader 
prove not unufeful. 

The Iiland of Cajamai has " one continued ridge of hills run- 
" ning through its middle, which are generally called the Blue 
** Mountains, faun their appearing in that colour." This I 

x Author of " Political Confiderations upon Refined Politicks, and th; 
" MaiUT-tlrokes of S:atc, as pradtifed by the Ancients and Moderns." 
This work was tr^nflated into Englifli, by Dr. King, in 1711, as a com- 
pliment to Mr. Harley. Thi Dedication (to the Duke of Beaufort), 
which contains fevcrai anecdjus of Cibriel Naude, will be printed in this 
collet ion, 

though: 



140 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

thought the more obfervnble, becaufe it is the fame in all couti* 
tries, that " the Iky appears fo, when in a clear clay we look to- 
** wards tlie Heavens. -The tops of iome of thofe mountains are 
" higher than others, and the hills of each fide are lower than 
" the mountains," p. 8 ; Nature, it feems, in Cajamai, as in the 
Alps and Pyrenees upon the Continent, and the rocks called The 
Biihop and his Clerks in the Ocean, being delighted with fuch 
variety. 

The Count Dhona was very defirous to have found large quan- 
tities of " Salt-petre," upon account of his own private intereft ; 
and had therefore " carried feveral people thither, on purpoie to 
«' try to make it, having had a patent for that dciign," p. 9 ; but 
beini th efly encouraged by an ancient Prophecy : 

HLt)ne tDae &c\>cn SJBen came out of t|>e S2Rett 
3To ma&e 5&alc=petre fitong, 
t£o turn it into ®un«potDuer 
?To charge the HUng'a eFamtott .♦ 
Ulljen let tl)t0 Health go rourtti, 
3ff)en let tfjig Cjealtb go rotirto ; 
aithougf) pour &tot&ing0 arc mate of Siffi, 
^our Knees fftall toucfj tfcc ground, &c. 

I told his Excellency, "trTat there was not any Salt-petre to he 
«• had from any natural iarth, but fome kind of Tinea! or Borax 
" out of a red earth; and that what Salt-petre was to be had 
** :herc, was from the earth dug out of caves where Indians were 
' : 'r.iriul, or where baits and tlieir dung are in great quantities." 

I roh! him Kk-ewrfe, " that I had feen in tlie woods many of 
" thefe Indians bones in caves," p. 4; and propoftt! to him a col- 
'''nn of them and bars dung ; the ufeftrlnefs of which had not 
ftf.en treated of by any European Virtuofb ; but this great defign, 
a< UHcwife nmferies I had projected for Bars, Owls, and other 
jjoftiwgous creatures, fell to the ground without further en- 
..couragement. 



Cencexnin 



VOYAGE TO C A J A M A I. ijt 

Conccrnino; Water In Catamaj. 

WATER in the hot fcafon is very uflful, of which there r»re 
many forts in Cajamni ; «* River Water, Pond Water, 
" Well Water, anil Spring Water, Sgj." p. i®, are the mo ft com- 
mon. " Frefh Water" of all iotts i> "very fcarce in dry \ears; 
" and cattle are forced to be driven a great way to it. If Well 
*} Water be near the fea, it is brackifli. River Water, if it run 
" down precipices and carry with it much clay and earth, is apt 
H to be thick and muddy. Spring Water is reckoned preferable 
" to other kinds," p. n. I know there are fomc who add to 
tliele i'pecies, under the names of Rock Water, Strong Water, and 
Maids Water: the firft is only the denomination given to water- 
when it is extremely clear or cool : the fecond is fub-divided into 
Aqua Vitae, Geneva, Brandy, and Rum, which is of the moft gene- 
ral ufe in this Ifland, as being an extract from its Sugar Canes 5 
and, when incorporated with the aforefaid Rock Water, Lemon 
Juice, and Sugar, makes an Elixir which conjoins fouls, as itfelf 
is compofed of conjoined liquors, where the fweet being melted bv 
the four, and fivtooth toothing the ftrong, from the concurrence of 
all together there ariles a harmony of friendship, wl licit, begun 
over night, will reign till it is dilturbed by the envious approach 
of the morning. As for Maids Water, we have little made in 
C^jamai, our paffengers generally having left what thev could 
fpare of it in Europe. 

I made many obfervations concerning Muddy and Stinking 
Water; I found that " Water being thick and muddy will have 
" an odd tafte if you drink it," p. 10 ; that the belt method is to 
give it time to fettle. We have a way in CajamaLof letting i; 
" percolate through a porous fione, made into the : form of a mor- 
" tar;" but here great care muft be taken of " putting the water 
u into the concave fide," ibid, for otherwife Water is of that fluid 
nature, that it will not tafily remain upon the convex. This 
obfervation may be of great ufe to many perfons, clpecially to 
fuch as are accuflomed to bite and fup their milk, and have not 
icen the ufe of fpoons ; for they, not underflanding the nature of 
concavity and convex it v, and that the concave fide is more capa- 
cious of liquids than the convex, when they firft handle that in- 
ftrurnent are apt to flobber. The learned Zaciuus has given us a 
2 uenjiraon 



6fs USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

definition of a Spoon, which is delivered to us by Dr. Eachard, in 
his " Dialogue between Timothy and Philautus 7" to Mr. 
Hobbes 2 . A Spoon h, " Inftrumentum quoddam concavo-con- 

M vexum, 

y Publifhed in 1672, and intituled, " Mr. Hobbefs State of Nature 
'* considered, in a Dialogue between Philautus and Timothy." This 
work was fo well received, that the next year he published another piece, 
under the title of " Some Opinions of Mr. Hobbes's confidered, in a fe- 
•• cond Dialogue, Sec." It does not appear that Mr. Hobbes ever vouch- 
fafed to enter the lids with this adverfaiy. — Dr. Eachard was alio author 
of a noted piece of drollery, intituled, " The Grounds and Occafions of 
" the Contempt of the Clergy and Religion enquired into, in a Letter 
** written to R. L." This pamphlet, which was publifhed without the 
author's name, made a gre.it noife, and was foon anfwersd by fever.il cler- 
gymen. Hz took the instances of abfuidity and nooftnfe, in this letter, 
from his father's fermons. The*' Letter to R. L." and the ' c Dialogue 
" betwixt Philautus and Timothy," are the moll eminent of h'.s works, 
which were long a favourite companion both of divines and laymen. 
Swift fpeaks of them with refpect, and feems indeed to have read them with 
attention. Some outlines of the " Tale of a Tub" have even been faid to 
be traced in the writings of Eachard. But it has been obferved of him, 
that he had do talent at all for ferious fubjecls. Mr. Baker, of St. John's 
College, Cambridge, in a blank leaf of his copy of Dr. Eachard's ** Let. 
" ter to R. L." oblerves, that he went to St. Mary's with great expec- 
tation to hear him preach, but was never more difappointed. He was 
admitted of Catharine Hall, May 10, 1655; B. A. 1656; fellow, July 
9, 1658 ; M. A. 1660; was chofen matter in j 67 , ; was twice vice 
chancellor; and died July 7, 1697, aged 61. He intended to have re- 
built the whole or greateft part of Catharine Hall ; but did not live to 
compleat that generous defign. He was buried in the chapel ; and thein- 
fcription on his tomb will be a lafting monument of his worth, and of the 
gratitude of that learned fociety. It is prin'ed in the fhort account of his 
life prefixed to a good edition published in 1774 by T. Davies, in 3 vols, 
and containing a •' Second Dialogue between Philautus and Timothy," no t 
publifhed in any of the twelve former editions. 

z Thomas Hobbes was born at Malmefbury, April 5, 1 5SS j fent in 
1603 to Magdalen Hall, Oxford ; and in 1608 taken into the family of 
lord Hardwicke (foon after created earl of Devonshire) as tutor to his 
fon, with whom he made the tour of Italy and France. On his return, 
he became known to perfons of the higheft rank, and eminently diiiin- 
gui/hed for their parts and learning. Lord chancellor Bacon admitted 
ivim to a great degree of familiarity ; he was much in favour with lord 

HeibefC 



V OYAGE TO C A J A M A T. 745 

" vexum, quo pofito in aliquor.1, in quo al'iucl quoculam direrfuoi 
" a pufuo, ante poiicum fun, & mronefuum in os poneiitis, 

" ccncipicur 

Herbert of Chsrbury ; and was particularly erteemed by Ben Jo.-.fon, who 
revifed thefirft work which he published, an English translation of Thucy- 
dides. His patron dying in 1626, and the young earl in 162", Mr, 
Hobbes went abroad a Second time, with Sir Getvoiz Clifton. In 1631. 
the Countefs of Devonfhhe put the third earl, then about 13, cnder 
his care, whom he ac<:ompan : ed in his travels from 163410 1637. On 
the breaking out of the civil war, he withdrew to Pari?, and continued 
there ten years, in which time he wrote many works, psiticii'arly his 
famous book " De Civc;" and his " Leviathan," printed at London in 
1650. After the publication of the letter, he rerurncd to EngimJ, and 
paii'ed the Summer commonly at Chatfworth. the ie.it of his pcttrcn ; and 
his winters in town, where Harvey, Selden, and Cowley, were his ino- 
rnate friends. In 1672, he wrote his own life in Latin verie; and in 
1675 published a translation of the Iliad and Odydey, in which he did as 
much injury to Homer as he had before do> e juftice to Thucydidvs. In 
1674, talcing leave of London, he went to fpend the rema nder of his 
days in Derby/hire : where, notw thlranding his great age, he p:ibli{hed 
from time to tirn: feveral pieces. In June, 1674, he fent his ?* Behsrncth" 
to a bookfeller, net to be published till a proper occasion offered. This 
appeared Soon after his death, which happened on the 4th of December 
following, at the age of 02. His character and manners are defcribed by Dr. 
Ksnnet, in the Memoirs of the Cavendifh Family, annexed to the Funeral 
Sermon on William Duke of Devonshire. This Sermon occaGoned an 
excellent pleafantry of Dr. King, printed in vol. III. p. 37. Mr. Kobbes's 
Writings, both in his life-time and Since his death, have been treated 
with great feverity. It is certain his notions concerning civil govsrnment 
have the mcfr, pernicious tendency. Bur, notwithstanding the errors in 
his opinions are many and great, he will ever be eSteemed a man of very 
extenfive genius. A Writer, to whoSe fentiments much deference ought to 
be paid, freaking of him, fays, *' But here let us dqjnfr.ee to that great 
" man's memory, at a time his Writings feem to be entirely degle&ed, 
" who, with all his errors, and thofe of the molt dangerous nature, we 
u muir allow to be one of the firll men of his age, for a bright wit, a deep 
"penetration, and a cultivated understanding. Several of whofe uncom- 
" mon Speculations, while they remained with him, lay unregarded ; but 
" when taken up by others, of whom we defervediy have a betler.opinion, 
*' received their due applaufe and approbation. The learned Reader fees 
*' I have Mr. Locke principally in my eye; and. indeed, that incompa- 
" rable man received no Small « ffi 1 i a n c c from Mr. Habhes's nitions. I 
*' could name fsvsral, upon which Mr. Locke vJues hhr.Llt, as difco- 

" verity 



144- USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

" concipitur is, qui pofuit primum pofitum in fecundum, e 
M pofitis aliquid concludcrc." 

Now concerning Foul Water: I c&ke " Thames Water, as 
'* paffing by fo great a city as London, to be the fouled in con- 
u tents," p. 1 1 ; though, for foulnefs, I (hould give the preference 
to " Water gathered ofT the Ships ducks from rain, which fmclls 
** and ferments presently, becaufe of iputle, dung, &c." ibid. 
Here perhaps Sir Courtly would hold his noie, and I agree that 
the remark is fomething natty ; but in Natural Hiftory fucja Ae- 
fcriptions are ncceffarv ; and as I hinted in my Preface, p. ult. 
we mull: not be diicouraged from publishing fuch lucubrations, 
for fear of being ridiculed by Traitors and Atheifts. " Upon the 
H whole matter, the cleaniing water from clay, mould, water-* 
* herbs, and other accidental impurities it meets with in its 
" couife, feems to be the way of making it good in all the world," 
p. ii. 

I had one day a long difpute with the ingenious Dr. Van Sly- 
boots, concerning " Water, which is the common drink of Caja- 
" mai." I told him, " it was the common cultom to drink a large 
" glafs of it in the morning, which is thought to prevent the true 
" Belly-ach ; and that by cleanfing the Guts of four and iharp 
" parts that may lye in them, the relicks of Lime juice, or orher 
" heterogeneous or morbific matter," p. 17. He would not in the 
leaft agree with me as to the ufe of Water after hard drinking; 
but referred me to a myftical Hypqthevls of the Dutch Phyfic'uns, 
that in fuch cafes a hair of the fame dog was inoft proper. I 

'* veries and improvements in knowledge ; but which he really borrowed 
" from the other, though admirably improved, and carried to a greater 
'S length : for that other haughty man was concifc and dogmatical, and 
H breathed the exa£t fpirit of his mafter LucretSu.3. But to mention one 
" only, and that Mr. Locke's afTcrtion, Tbtt Liberty btlovgs not to tie 
"Will; the fineir, and (as he confefles in a Letter to P. Limborch) the 
*' moft intricate Difiertation of any in his E.i'ay. This his predecciVar 
'« had before aflcrtcd on his Leviathan." See Be. Warburtcn's " Mifcc|- 
" laneous Tranflations, &c. 1725," p. 123. — Cowicy addrcfled an Ode to 
M<". Hobbes, in an exaggerated flrain of panegyric j in which, however, 
(as the judicious editor of Cowley's Select Works has obferved) " he does 
"but juftice to the vigour of his fcnfe, and the manly elegance of his 
" rtyle; for the latter of which qualities, chiefly, his philofophic writings 
" are now valuable." 

proceeded 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. i 4s 

proceeded to tell him, " that Water, by its analvfis, feems to be 
" next akin to the fpittle, and excretions of the glandule or ven- 
" tricle and guts ; that it is every where ready at hand to all man- 
" kind ; and all fanguineous Animals coming near the ftructure 
u of mankind make ufe of no other with their good wills," p. 27. 
He feemed to fly into a fort of paflion ; and faici, that fanguineous 
animals would drink Mum, Cyder, Perry, Pomperkin, Beer, Ab, 
and Canary, and other vinous Liquors, if they had (kill to make 
them, or opportunity to get at them j and therefore it was not out 
of " good will," but ncceffity, they drank Water. He inftanced 
to me in Rats getting fuddled by the afhftance of their Tail, *and fo 
oftentimes dropping into Butts of Malmfey — how Pack-horfes 
would drink Ale, and that as often as the Carrier, had thev but 
voice to call, or money to pay for it — that Monkeys, who imi- 
tate the ltruc"ture of mankind, would participate any fort of liquor 
they faw another tafte before them — and that Swine, whofe flefh 
comes neareft human, would never by their good wills touch 
anv Water, if ftrong liquors were before them 5 in which they 
delighted to fuch excefs, that David's Sow was become a Proverb 
for her drunkennefs. I told him, thefe were particular inflances ; 
" but that Negroes, Indians, Mahometans, and a great part of 
" mankind, know not the ufc of Wir.e or vinous liquors, and 
" yet looked frefher and are much healthier than we," p. 27. He 
faid, if by a black, fallow, or tawny complexion, I meant look- 
ing " frefher or healthier," he would agree with me ; but other- 
wife he thought that Europe could fhew ruddier cheeks and more 
rofy countenances, by the help of Ale, Wir.e, or Brandy, than any 
perfons in Africa or America could pretend to, by the affiftance 
of Water and Tobacco. I then inftanced to him, " in the 
" Northern nations, Goths and Vandals, who overcame raoft part 
"of the world, and did not end their victories till, by coming 
" over the Alps, they tailed and drank the Wines ; whence they 
" flopped their conquefl, became effeminate, and not fruitful." 
Why, replied Dr. Slyboots, did you ever hear that the Northern 
nations drank Water > No; it was want of good Ale that hin- 
dered the farther progrefs of their glory; it was this a infpired 

them 

a All who gave themfclves to warlike aeVons and enterprizes, to the 

conquefts of their neighbours, and {laughters of enemies, and died in 

baule, or of violent dea b.3 upon bold adventures or refoluticns, they went 

L immediately 



146 USEFUL T R A N S A C T I O I 

them with hopes that they fhouhl poffefs it in a ftate immortal, as 
we fi.ui in Sir William Temple's EflTays b , out of Olaus Magnus 
being the 25th and 29th flanzas of an Ode of Rcgticr Ladbrog L , 
tranflated into Latin by Olaus j. 

" Pugnavimus enfibus : 

" Hoc r'ulerc me facit fempcr, 

* l Quod Balden patris lcamna 

" Parata fcio in Aula. 

" Bibemus Ccrevifiam 

" Ex coacavis crateiibus Craniorum. 

" Non gemit vir fortis contra mortem 

" Magnirlci in Odini domibus. 

" Nc:i venio defperabundus 

" Verbis ad Othini aulam." 
And again, 

*' Fere animus finire. 

a Invitant me Dyfe, 

" Quas ex Odini aula 

" Otliinus rnihi mifit. 

" Lsetus Cerevifiam cum A Ms 

*• In fumma fede bibam. 

Immediately to the vaft hall or palace of Odin, their god of war, who 
eternally kept open houfe for fuch guefts, where they were entertained at 
infinite table:, in perpetual feafts and mirth, caroufing every man in 
bowls made of the flcuUa of their enemies they had llain j according to 
which numbers, every one in thefe manfions of pleafure was the moft 
honourei, and the beft entertained. Temple, 

b See the Effay " of Heroic Satire," vol. III. 8vo. p. 357. Sir 
William Temple was barn in 1628 5 and, after pafling with the highelt 
reputation through feveral honourable departments in the ftate, rehired 
to the cultivation of his beautiful garden at Sheen ; and died in January 
1698, in his 70th year. His Life and Character (fuppofed to be written 
by Dr. Swift) are prefixed to his Works. 

c This fong, or epicedium, of Rcgner, one of their famous kings, was 
compofed by him, in the Runic language, in the ninth century, after 
he was mortally Hung by a ferpent, and before the venom feized on his 
vitals. The whole fonnet is recited by Olaus Wormius in his " Litera- 
** tura Runica," and is well worth perufal. That which is extraordinary 
in it is, that fuch an alacrity or pleafure in dying was never exprelled in 
any other writing, nor amon» any other people. 

«*Vi. ■:■ 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. 147 

" Vitse clapfo funt horae, 

" Ridens moriar." f 

Nor was it any other liquor that the great Englifh Bard Zar. 
Dryden cckbratcs in his Play of King Arthur d , A£t I. 

« I call ye all 

« To Woden's Hall ; 

** Your temples round 

" With ivy bound, 

u In goblets crown'd, 
" And plenteous bowls of burnifh'd gold : 

" Where you fhall laugh, 

" And dance, and quaff 
" The Juice that makes the Britons bold." 
I found Dr. Van Slyboots an obftinate advocate againft Water; 
and fo I left him. But to proceed to Cajamai. 

" The mountainous part for the raoft part is very fteep, and the 
• high lands that want tillable earth are barren; for all the. high 
" land is covered with woods, which are great high trees, fomc 
" of them very good timber. Thefe trees fend clown their fibrous 
•• roots into the crannies of the rocks, where liere and there they 
■" meet with little receptacles, or natural bafons, wherein the Rain 
" Water is preferved, not only for the roots of the trees to give 
** them nouriihmenc ; but likewife to give Birds a.nd Inlefts 
"drink, and fometimes paffengers on the roads," p. 13, 14; I 
myfelf, upon making thefe obfervations, having had feveral op- 
portunities of regaling myfelf with liquors at fuch places, together 
with thofe inferior ranks of my fellow creatures, as Ducks, 
Water Snakes, Frogs, and Widgeons. I was very well pleafed 
to find the " meadow grounds after rain to be very green and plea- 
" fant;" but it was furprizing to find them after " long droughts 
" to be very much parched and withered. Low land i:> very 
u proper for hay, which feeds horfes very well. Grounds which 
*' have been manured for a long time need dung, and therefore 

J Published in 1 69 1. In a Dedication, to the Marquis of Halifax 1 , 
Mr. Dryden tells us, this Dramatic Opera was the laft piece of fervice he 
had the honour to do for his gracious matter King Charles II ; who did 
not live to fee the performance of it on the ftage. The Poet has beftowed 
a very handfome panegy.ic on that Monarch in the Dedication, as well 
at a juit compliment to his friendly patron. 

L z u lvulband.Tiea 



r 4 8 USEFUL TRANSACTION S. 

" hufbandmen keep their trafli in great heaps, to rot in time, to 
" make the better dung," p. 14, 15. Thefe are Remarks which 
I take to be as valuable as any made by Varro, Pliny, Colu- 
mella, and the late Writers concerning Hufbandiy. 

Concerning the Food of Cajamai. 

\RT of the Food of the beft inhabitants is " Poultry of 
" their rwn raifing, as Ducks, Hens, Geefe, and Turkeys, 
"which are fed with corn," p. 17. They are very careful in 
their education ; in fhort, I could obferve their Poultry lay eggs, 
fit upon them, hatch them, walk about the garden, and fee what 
they can pick up, as Ants, Worms, Flies, loofe Grain, &x. ibid. 
They hold up their heads as they drink ; and their Ducks eat up 
the dirt, that children may go abroad, j u it as they do in Holland, 
England, and other countries. But in Cajamai they have " Muf- 
" covy Ducks, which come originally from Guinea ; thefe are 
«« moft plentiful, and thrive extremely," p. 17. It ftartlcd me at 
firft, to think how " Mufcovy Ducks" iliould come originally 
from Guinea ; till, confulting with a learned Negro, who prac- 
ticed Phvlick,he told me, " That, many ages ago, the Emperor of 
Guinea trafficked with the Czar of Mufcovy ; and that they changed 
thefe fort of Guinea Ducks for Snow and Ice to cool their liquors; 
and that Ice and Snow would I>e valuable commodities if carried 
there at prefent. He told me how much Guinea, and indeed all 
, had been wronged, as to the original of Poultry, of which 
honour they had been robbed by other nations ; and that they had 
great injufdee done them concerning Turkey Cocks and Turkey 
Hens, for that they were Guinea Cocks, or Numidian Cocks, or 
African Cocks ; and that lb much had been allowed by the 
learned Columella, who calls the lun by the Name of Numulica 
and Africans •. aad that the ingenious Martial, who, being a Spa- 
niard, might probably beft underfland the Fowls of his neigh- 
bouring continent, calls the 'i potted Turkey the Numidica Gut- 
nun; by fome it is called Garamantica, the Garamantes being a 
people in the region of the Inward Libya. So that all Authors 
agree that the original of thefe Birds come from our country : 

and 



VOYAGE TO CAJ A MA I. 149 

anil yet, becaufe the Carthaginians and Phoenicians, thofe great 
matters in the Art of Sailing, carried fome of them into Afia, to 
humour the luxury of Sardanapalus the laft Monarch of Afiyria; 
and the Medcs, upon his death, transferring the Monarchy and 
this fort of Fowl together; in fome time after they came to be 
called Galli Medici. Alexander, in his Expedition into India, to 
fhew his grandeur, carried ail rarities, and fome of thefe among 
the reft ; which propagated there to that degree, that they had the 
general name of Indian Cocks, the French calling them lo to this 
day ; but feveral of the Europeans, and the Englifh in particular, 
ufe us barbaroufly, in calling them Turkey Cocks, for they cannot 
but know that the Turks were an up-ftart handful of men ; and 
that, coming from Scythia, they had more notion of Horfe-fklh. 
than any other dainties ; and that they had no fettled ieat of 
Empire till their taking of Conllantinople, which was not till 
about the year 1453, according to your Chriftian reckoning. 
Pardon me, Sir, laid the Black Doctor, if the love of my coun- 
try has made me fomething too particular." I exculed him, as I 
hope my Reader will do me ; for I take the obfervation to be 
wholly new, and that it may in time help to reftify the vulgar 
error concerning Turkey Cocks, 

The next principal part of their food is Swine, fome of which 
run wild in the woods. When thofe are " fhot, cut open, the 
«' Bones taken out, and the Flelh, gaflied on the infzde into the 
" Skin, filled with fait and expofed to the Sun, they are faid to 
** bzjirked," p. 16, 17. This gave me a more clear idea of that 
threatening exprefhon ufed in Europe, " I'll j irk your jacket ;" 
which carries greater terror with it than is generally apprehended. 
" This is fo brought home by the Hunters to their mailers, and 
*' eats much as Bacon if broiled on coals," ibid. I had the curi- 
ofity to have fome hied with Eggs, and itili it w eat much as 
" Bacon;" then boiled with Herbs, then with Fowls, and (till it 
" eat much as Bacon ■" fo that I could not attribute that tafte of 
Bacon to the Coals, but to fome " Baconic Particles in Swine's 
** Flelh," which make it, when " faked, dried, and jirked, rather 
" eat as Bacon'' than as red Herrings or dried Salmon. The 
inhabitants have "other Swine," which lye in. " Houlcs and 
■•'Styes," p. 17; thefe are creatures of great ingenuity and faga- 
pity, and obferve extraordinary " order and dilcipline." They 
fnarch out in the morning, " feveral hundreds of them together, 



i 5 o USEFUL TRANSACTICT 

** to feed on the fruits in the neighbour ch hey 

do with great civility and moderation. I have i en " goi into 
" the woods, to fee thefe Swine, where t! ,cd 

"me no fmall diverfion," ibid. The even! . cen •■ thus 

performed : Their Steward, or principal fervant, having pre . klcd 
all things nectilary at their fives, both for their repa.T. and their 
repofe, acquaints the Swine with it, by the blowing of " a Conch 
" ihell, whofe found is hke that of a trumpet. On the- firft 
** found, they lift up their heads from the ground where they are 
" feeding, and prick up their ears to hearken for the cord ; as 
" foon as ever they hear the fecond, they begin to make fome 
" movements homewards ; on the third they run with all their 
" fpeed to the place where the Ovcrfeer ufes to throw them corn. 
«< They feem to be as much, if not more, under difcipline than ' 
" any Troops I ever faw ;" ibid. I was relating this ftory to Dr. 
Van Slyboots, before-mentioned, who had been a great Traveller, 
and had fpent much of his time in England. He told me, that 
their Swine there had fomething of this difcipline, but nothing 
equal to that of Cajamai ; that twice a day they were called to 
their food, which was Whe}', Butter-milk, or common Hog-wafh ; 
that the ceremony was performed by a Wench, who, with a flick 
finking upon a trough or pale, ufed to endeavour to reprefent a 
drum, and then, with a fhrill voice, cry, "Come, Tig; come, 
*' Tio-: come, Tig." That they never ftaid for the word of 
command, of " One, Two, Three, and away ;" but he that 
heard die firft found ran as if the Devil drove, and left Urn to 
take the hindmoft, That they never complimented, as, " Pray, 
" Captain Swineface, help yourfelf. Where's the Silver Ladle 
*' and a Soup-plate for Colonel Porker's Lady? I will not be fo 
" rude as to carve the Carrot-tops before Madam Pigfney;" but 
all fall to hke Hogs, and eat like Hogs. They tell us indeed of 
a place where Pigs play upon the Organs; byt I take it to be 
fabulous. One of their Poets e has given them a laudable cha- 
raftei : 

" So 

e George ViHa-rs, Duke of Buckingham, in" The Rehearfal." — This 
noble writer, a man of great wit and humour, and of the moft whimlical 
(caprice, was the admiration and the jeft of the reign of Charles II. He 
•was the alchemift and the philofopherj the fiddler and the poet; the 
mimic and the llatefman. lie has left us a fpecimen of his admirable wit 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. 151 

u So Boar and Sow, when any ftorm is nigh, 
*' Snuff up, and find it gatheiing in the Iky : 
** Boar beckons Sow to trot in chefnut groves, 
" And there confummate their unfinifh'd loves. 
" Penhve in mud thev wallow all alone, 
' And fnoar and gruntle to sach other's moan f ." 
In truth, he endeavours to make their amour come little lhcrt of 
that cf Dido and iEncas, in the Firft. Book of that incomparable 
Poet Virgil. But the Ladies of Bayonne have found out the ex- 
cellency of this creature, and therefore (as it is recorded in " The 
" Lady's Travels into Spain g") they adorn them with ribbons, 

in his " Rehearfal," which had a con(iderable effVft in reforming the 
ftage. It was finished before the end of 1664; when the poe f , who w s 
drawn for Sir Robert Howard, had the name of Bilboa. But, the great 
plague and other accidents havinj prevented its being acted before 1 67 r> 
the name was changed from Bilboa to Bayes, and the whole artillery of 
the Author's wit was leveled at Mr. Dryden. He is faid to have been, 
aflifted in this comedy Ky Dr. Sprat, Mr. Clifford, and the celebrated 
author of Hudibras. — The Duke was born Jaiuaiy 30, 1627, the year 
before his father's afTaflination. After mar.y fufferings in th? royal caufe, 
he folicited one of the daughters of Cromwell in marriage; but was mor- 
tified with a denial. He afterwards married the only daughter of lord 
Fairfax ; and was foon committed to the Tower by the Protector. On 
the Reftoration, he was at firft flighted by the King ; but the charms of 
his wit and conveifation f:>on prevailed, and he was appointed a lord of 
the bedchamber. In May 1688, he purchafed the office of mafter of the 
horfe ; June 7, 1671, was inllalled c! r.ncellor of Cambridge, and was 
deprived of that office in 1674. He died, in contempt and mifery, April 
16, 1688; a melancholy example of the prostitution of talents. His end 
is pathetically defcribed in Mr. Pope's E, iitle to Lord Bathurfr. And fee 
fome further particulars of a Peer, " who was of fo g>ejt and at the fame 
4< time of fo little a character," in Granger, vol. III. p. 192. A neat 
edition of his works, with memoirs of the author, and a few explanatory- 
notes, was publifhed by T. Evans, in 1775, in 2 vols. Svo. 

' A parody on fix lines in Dryden's " Conqueft of Granada," part ii. 
p. 48. 

" So two kind Turtles," &c. 

E Written in a ferics of Letters to a Friend at Paris, by the Countefs 
of Danois, who had married a grandee of Spain, in the beginning of the 
prefcnt century. Thefe entertaining Letters, after palling through at lead 
ten editions, were republifhed, with improvements, in 2 vols. i2mo. 
hy T. D .ivies, in 1774. 

L 4- carry 



i 5 * USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

party them a vifiting, and treat them with the fame civility as the 
Ladies of other countries do their Lap-dogs. I muft do your 
Swine this juftice as to martial affairs you have been fpeaking of : 
I muft own that I have feen the Armies of the Confederates, and 
of the French ; and I am of opinion, that " the Swine of Cajamai 
" are as much, if not more, under command and diicipline than 
" any Troops I ever f.nv," p. 1 7 ; always excepting the French 
in one particular, who, by many Battles, have been brought to 
this diicipline, that, upon the approach of the Confederate and 
Britifli Forces and their firft onfet, they " hang down their 
"heads, and let fall their ears;" on the fecond, they "make 
f* fome movements;" and on the third, " they run with all their 
" fpeed," till they meet with fome River to leap into. 

It might feem a ftory, but I have been credibly affured by a 
worthy Colonel, that the " Wild Dogs in Cajamai," p. 67, 
keep an admirable ceconomv ; and that, without the affiftance of 
any human perfon, they ufed to hunt of themfelves the c.iule 
that were in the woods ; and at night, when one of the " Red 
" Do°s, called a Bulk, began to howl, he was anfwered by the 
" others in the woods, who came from all quarters to him, and 
" then went orderly about to take their Supper," p. 67. Thefe 
inftances of Wild Dogs and Swine, with others that I could give, 
might convince us of the rationality of thefe creatures ; and fhew 
that their ceconomy is better, in taking their Suppers orderly, 
than of fuch animals as fit up all night drinking of Punch, or 
playing at Baffet or Ombre, and take what they call Supper when 
it is a more proper time to go to Breakfaft. 

The Breakfaft of the inhabitants in Cajamai is " Chrcolate, 
" which ii ufed by all forts of people at all times, but chiefly in 
»' a morning. It feems to be nourilhing, chiefly by its Qilirfefs, 
" and by the Eggs mixed with it to be rendered more fo," p. 20. 
iSometimes I have thought it " hard of digeftion," othertimes 
" to be a wholelome F00J," ibid, but of this I am certain by 
many experiments, " that Chocolate colours the Album Grxcuin 
{« of thofc feeding on it of a dirty colour." 



Cqncerr.i r.£ 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI, i SJ 

Concerning the Effects of Heat in warm 
Climates. 

I Found Heat in Cajamai to be very flaggative of Candles ; and 
therefore the " niceit fort of people," efpecially the Ladies, 
" were deiiious of Wax Tapers ;" becaufe, through " the heat of 
" tlie Air, Tallow Candles were often fo very foft as not to be 
" able to Hand upright without falling or doubling down. Butter 
f* is likewife as foft there, as when it is half melted in Holland," 
p. io; and consequently cannot be kept from turning to Oil, 
without great judgement in the Cook-maid. 

I find all Authors to agree concerning the effects of Heat in the 
Torrid Zone upon Butter and Tailow Candles ; but I cannot 
agree with them concerning Lice. I know " it is a commonly- 
44 received opinion by iome ingenious men, that Lice die on 
" change of the Winds, or paffmg the iEcmator ; and that on the 
" South of the Tropick of Cancer are none to be found : but 
" this notion is certainly falfe, for although I think the great 
" Cweatings and little apparel of the inhabitants and travellers of 
" the Torrid Zone occahon lefs disturbance from this fort of 
" Vermin ; yet Indians, Moors, and Europeans, are fubject to 
" them, though they be not in fo great plenty as in more Northern 
" countries, where the inhabitants fweat lefs, and go better 
" cloathed, in the plies of which apparel thofe creatures find good 
" iheker." To this purpofe may ferve the flory of Starchaterus, 
a famous Prince and Giant of the North, who, in a Journev he 
had taken to his Miftrefs, in a great ftorm of fnow, to fhew the 
hardinefs of his conftitution, the greatnefs of his mind, and 
contempt of cold, fat down by a mountain, to encounter the 
innumerable enemies that lay in ambufcade in his Doublet, as we 
find in the moi't authentic Runic Hifloiics. 

The Dog-days are " intolerably hot and unhealthy : few people 
»' fiad themfelves perfectly well and eafy," p. io. This was ob- 
fcrvable even antongft the Ancients, who, notwithstanding their 
ignorance in Natural Hifiory, complained of the " Sirius ardens," 
or the parching heat of the Dog-flat"; as likewife by the molt 
vulgar Almanack-makers, who tell us when the Dog-days b.:"in, 
and what is likely to proceed from their fatal influence. 

In 



i 5 4 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

In the midft of " this heat" of the air, people endeavour to 
amend it, ** by Fans, Umbrellas, lying cool, and many other 
*' ingenious contrivances," ibid. 

The heat of the country produces very flrange effects upon 
their Liquors. " Wine brought hither muff be kept cool ; and 

* will for all that remain but a fmall time, without being pricked 
" and turning four. Cyder, Beer, and Ale, when bottled, huff 
«• and fly in this ftrange climate," p. zS. So that the Natives and 
Indians, when they fee fuch a prodigious deal of Froth come out, 
wonder extremely how it ever came to be flowed in fo fmall a 
veffel. " It feems to me that it fhould be very unhealthful to 
V drink their fmall Beer; which is the fecond or third running off 
" of the Malt, whence it muftcome that a great many feculencies 
" remain in the blood." Therefore it is very wifel r provided by 
the magistrates, that near every great town there fhould be a pub- 
lic officer, who, amongft other things, fhould take the iolemn 
affirmation of pafTengers, upon a pair of Rams Horns, " That 
*' they will never drink /mall Beer when they can get /rong h ." 

11 The heat of the air exhaufting the fpirits, no wonder if fome 
" of the edge of mankind to Vcnery be taken off. It is thought 
" by fome men they ar : bed, or charmed by the air : but 

*' by what I could find this appetite is the fame as in other places ; 
" neither are men more bewitched or charmed here than in Eu- 

* rope," p. 31. 

This is a very bad 'country for Chimney-fweepers ; the beft 
lnhabitants having " no chimneys or fire-places in their houfes, 
«' but in their Cook -room," p. 47. " which word is ufed for a 
•< Kitchen, and is a fea word, as many others of that country," 
p. 52: fo here they cry, " All hands to work," as at fea they 
cry, " All hands to prayers" when they are in great extremity. 

* Alluding to the ancient cufrorn at Highgate (now almoft obfolete) ; 
where it was ul"u..l for every public houfe to have a large pair of horns 
placed over the (ign ; and, when travellers ftopt for refrefhment, a pair 
of large horns fixed to the end of a ftaff was brought to them, and a 
kind of burlesque oath to the ab->ve purpofe, and abundance of other 
things of the fame kind, with the falvo of " Except I like the other 
"better." — This ludicrous ceremony was principally pradtifed at the 
Gitehoufe, ere£ted there in the fourteenth century, to receive toll for the 
Bifhop of London ; occafioned^by an old miry road from Grays Inn Lane 
to Barnet beiDg turned through a park belonging to that bifhoprick. 

" The 



VO Y AG E TO C A J AM AT. 155 

" The Negroes, who lie on die floor, and not in beds, are 
" not faid to go *-o bed, but to go and fieep ; and this phrafe has 
" generally obtained ail over the Plantations. Upon their going 
" to deep, they untie their breeches, and loofen their girdles, 
"finding by experience this cuftom healthy, becaufe they were 
" the cooler for fo doing," p. 31. " But they did not know a better 
" rcafon, that by fuch means the circulation of the blood is not 
" interrupted, and fo confequently humours are not depofited in 
" the feveral parts of the body, which ever follows fuch inter- 
** ruptions," p. 77. I have, in my practice, ordered the unbotton- 
ing of collars when too ftrait, unbuckling the fkoes upon the cafe 
of corns, unlacing of flays in fits, &x. with very good fuccefs. 

The better fort of perfons " lie as in Europe, though more on 
" Quilts, and with few if any coverings," p. 30. Therefore I 
found it not proper to bolt into a chamber till notice given, left 
there mould be more expofed than in the colder climates, where 
we lie under Feather-beds. Once advifing a perfonto be put to 
bed in a cold fit of an Ague ; I prefcribed a Warming-pan. They 
told me, they had no fuch utcnfil ; and that there had never been but 
one cargo ot Warming-pans lent over finceCajamai was a Dutch 
Plantation, and that came from an eminent Merchant in London. 

It feems " that Froft and Snow are never feen in this hot cli- 
" mate," p. 32; by which means the youth are deprived of many 
1 us, as Sliding, Skating, Foot-ball upon the Ice, and the 
great diverfion of throwing Snow-balls j but indeed " exercifes 
" here are not manv, becaufe of the heat of the air. Ridin°- in 
" thf mornings is the mofl ordinary, which, by eafily moving the 
" Abdomen, and confequently the contents, by that means for- 
" wauls the depuration of the blood in the feveral emun£tories 
" there placed," p. 34. The want of excrcife is the caufe of 
feveral difeafes ; and fuffers " the paffions of the mind to have a 
it power on mankind, efpecially hyflerical women and hypo- 
" condriacal men. They who cannot live eafily elfewhere have 
«« been of bad lives, who have not their wills, minds, or affairs 
" iettled, are much wo.fe to cure than thofc who have fedate 
" minds and quiet confeiences ; in all which refpe&s the Indians, 
" who are not covetous, nor trouble themfelves about many 
"things as we do, have much advantage of us," p. 3 1 ; for, 
excepting their inclination to " Veneiy, and Bawdry, and Theft," 
they cannot be faid to lead bad lives ; they have no Church con- 

. trovcrfies 



i 3 6 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

troverfics to difturb them, and but few fcruples of Confcience, as 
generally having their Religion to chufe ; they having no Eftates, 
*' their affairs are foon fettled ;" and there is little need of a Scri- 
vener to frame a Will, when they have no more to difpofe of to 
their Widow and Pigganinnies, but a Calabafh, fome Potatoes, 
a Pipkin, their Canvas Doublet and Breeches, and " perpetual 
** Slavery," p. 57. Befides, they are not fo inclined to lazinefs 
as the Europeans ; but " at night, although hard wrought, will 
** fing and dance with great aftivity." Their Scaramouches, 
Mafques, and Operas, are performed by " tying rattles to their 
** legs and wrifts, and cow-tails to their rumps, and adding fuch 
u other odd things to their bodies, in feveral places, as gives them 
<* a very extraordinary appearance." I got one of their Songs, in, 
which all the wouis arc, 

«' Ho — Baognion Ho — Baognion, 

« Ho— ha Ho— Ba 
u O Ognion Ognion. 

" Meri Bonbo 

" Mich Langa 

" Meri wa Langa." 
At the bafe, clap hands, and cry " Alia, Alia," p. 49, to. 
I did not get it interpreted, becaufe I was told " their Songs were 
** all bawdy, or that ways." I defign a fmall Difl'ertation, con- 
cerning the Laplandifh, Old Greek, Perfian, Turkilh, and Indian 
Muhck, of which 1 have fpecimens out of divers Authors. If I 
am not impofed upon by a Negro Phyfician, I have a Song, that 
has a great deal of Love and Gallantry in it, compokd by a 
Neoro Prince and Princefs, who were made captives, and fent 
hither. I have the Original : bur, few I believe underftanding 
it, I have here only fet down the Tranfiation, made by himfelf, 
as he told me. 

ODE. 

Darco. " Caefar, poflefs'd of Egypt's Queen, 
" And Concpacror of her charms, 
" Would envy, had he Darco feen 
" When lock'd in Zabra's arms. 
Zabra. " Should Memnon that fam'd Black revive, 
" Aurora's darling Son, 
** For Zabra's heart in vain he'd fhive, 
t* Where Darco reigns alone. 

Darco, 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. 157 

DarCO. " Frefli Mulberries new-prefs'd difclofc 
« A blood of purple hue ; 
'* And Zabra's lips, like crimfon Rofe, 
" Swell with a fragrant dew. 
Zabra. u Theamorous Sun has kifs'd his face ; 
" And, now thofe beams are fer, 
" A lovely Night affumes the place, 
M And tinges all with jet. 

Darco. " Darknefs is myfric prieft to Love, 
" And does its rites conceal ; 
* O'erfpread with clouds, fuch joys we'll prore 
" As Day fhall ne'er reveal. 
Zabra. " In gloom of Night, when Darco's eye& 
u Are guides, what heart can ftray ? 
" Whoever views his teeth, defcries 
" The bright and milky way. 

Darco. " Though born to rule fierce Libya's fands, 
" That with gold's luftre fhine, 
" With eafe I quit thofe high command* 
" Whilft Zabra thus is mine. 

Zabra. " Should I to that bleft world repair, 
" Where Whites no portion have ; 
** I'd foon, if Darco w ere not there, 
«' Fly back, and be a Si^ve." 



Of Things common with other Countries; fafe 
Portion?, Burying-Places, &c. 

" npHUNDER is here ; and on the feveral fubftances it meets 
JL " with, either animate or inanimate, the fame effects as 
" follow Thunder in Europe," p. 45. " Lightning for the moft 
" part precedes Thunder in this Ifland, as elfewhere ; efpecially 
" in the hotted feafons it lightens almoft all the night over," ibid. 
" Falling Stars arc here as common as elfewhere, and fo are 
" Rain-bow;,," ibid. 

I made 



i 5 S USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

I made fome general remarks in my Voyage ro Cajamai and 
ftay there, p. 32; which I think may be depended upon, and 
may be certain rules to perfons who go thither. 

" Servants who get fuddled with Rum, and fo in going home 
"fall off their horfes fall afleep, lie fomctimes whole nights ex- 
" pofed to the injury of the air," p. 29. " When you are in a 
" neighbouring plain, and it thunders and rains in the mountains, 
" you may fee the rain, and hear the thunder," p. 45. " Sur- 
** veyors do know their different fort of Trees by their Bark." 
** A Widow, that has a Sugar- work and near Forty Tl. 
11 Cattle, may be reputed rich." — " When Sheep come from 
" Guinea to Cajamai, they come in a Ship." Introd. " It is 
" efteemed here the wholefomett way to go to bed early, and 
" rife earlv," p. 30. " Perfons who being fea-fick, if thev can* 
" not eat as they ufe to do at land, they cannot expect the fame 
** quantity of Excrements." Voyage, p. 3. 

I think it one of the moft necellary things in the world, for a 
Phyfician, when he fets up in any place, to look out for proper 
and convenient Burying-iplaces for his Patients j confuiciing that 
we are all mortal, and it would be too much charge to embalm 
every perfon, and therefore the fooner out of fight the better. 
Cajamai is a molt excellent place for this;, " the air being fo hot 
*} as to corrupt and fpoi] meat in four hours, no wonder if a 
" difeafed body muft be foon buried; they ulually bury twelve 
" hours after death, at all times of the day and night," p. 48 ; 
fo that the melancholy object of the corpfe is foon removed from 
being a reproach to the Phj fician j who, if he be prudent enough 
for fo many hours to keep himfeif from touching the dead body, 
fo as not to make it bleed, may efcape well enough without cen- 
fure ; but is not fo advantageous to another Faculty, who have 
lictle opportunity of computing Funeral Harangues, for want of 
time ; fo that I remember not above two, for perfons whole 
thread of life I had lengthened in confumptions, that time might 
be given for fuch laudable compofures. " The Burial-place is a 
u little out of town. In the Town, or Church, is though: very 
*' unhealthy for the Living. Planters are buried in their Garden ; 
" and yet I never heard of any of them who walked after their 
* deaths, for being buried out of confecrated ground," ibid. This 
I look upon rs a farther happinefs, becaufe Spirits in that country 
1 ' tell 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. i 5f 

tell no talcs, nor how they came to be feparated from their body, 
which leads me to my nexc head ; viz. 



The Method I ufed to cure Diseases in Cajamai. 

« T TPON my coming thither, I was very uneafy, left by igno- 
V*J " ranee I fhould kill, inftead of curing; and indeed at 
" firft the inhabitant: would fc'arce truft me with, the management 
u of the lcaft Diftemper, till they had made tria i f what I could 
*' do with fome of the meaner fort," p. 90- Cut time gave me 
boldnefs in my praftico, and then aliuxance of fuccefs. I remem- 
bered the ftory of 2. young Scholar, who afterwards came to great 
preferment, That he, feeing a good likely woman afking an alms, 
not only relieved her, but told her the beft method fhe could take 
for a livelihood was to practice Phyfick ; that fhe fhould be a 
Stroker S and fo cure all ciiieafes ; that her fee fhould be a penny 
loaf, and a penn* rcadv money ; and that, during the operation, 
lhe fhould pronounce this cabaliftical and energetical expreflion, 
" For the Loaf in my lap, and the Penny in my purfe, 
" If you're never the better, you'll be never the worfe :" 
that, through the ftrength of her Patients imaginations, (he per- 
formed incredible cures ; and that, many years after, the fame 
Gentleman, being forced to come to London for relief in a diftem- 
per, had this famous Lady brought to him by the importunity of 
friends ; and that the fight of her, and the recollection of the 
former pallages, made him fall into fuch a fit of mirth and laugh- 
ter, as contributed mightily to his cure, and made the Doctrefs 
in fome meafure able to recompenfc her Benefaftor. So I found 
that " my medicines had the better operation, when I had brought 
" people to a belief that I could help them ; fo that they would 
" take the remedies in the order they were prefcribed, without 
" altering the method, or judging harfhly in cafe the perfondied," 
p. 90. Now this I take to be the perfection of a Phyfician, to 
bring people " not to judge harfhly in cafe die perfon dies." 
And indeed it fhould be confidered how uncertain the art is, and 
that all perfons do not think or practile alike; and that, as a 
Night-cap and Pepper-poffet are not always infallible remedies iu 

* A enter on the advocates for Greatrax j fee- above, p. 45. 

the 



i6o USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

the country, fo neither are " Liquid Laudanum, Pecoctum, 
* Album, Spirit of Hnrts-horn, or the Cortex," in your great 
Cities. It is with much difficulty that we bridle the tongues of 
Nurfes, Mid wives, and Chamber-maids, unlefs oftentimes we give 
them higher fees than we and our fervants set from the Under- 
takers. I find the generality of men to be eafily quieted j and 
that, upon the death of their Fathers who held plentiful Eftates, 
Grandmothers and Mothers that had large jointures, Wives either 
expenfive or difagreeable, they have great refignation, in duly fub- 
mitting to whatever is difpenfed to them by the means of the Phv- 
ficians ; but Parents parting with their onL, Children, Clergymen 
and Cuftom-houfe Officers Widows who lofe their maintenance 
with their hufbands, are in fuch cafes the mod cenforious and 
uncharitable, not to fay unchriftian, in their expreffions concern- 
ing perfons of our profeffion. 

1 had one patient, named Ifaac, who was a difmal inftance of 
infidelity. " He had a vomiting and loofenefs, which bad been 
" violent upon him, and weakened him confiderably. I gave 
"* him Liq. Laud, and Sp. C.C. I thought him very well reco- 
** vered ; but he, on the contrary, thought himlelf very ill, and 
" that he fhould certainly die of this illnefs. I faid, I could FIND 
"No disease. He faid, he was fure, fay WHAT I COULD, 
" THAT HE WOULD NOT RECOVER. As he faid, fo he did; 
"for he died, being very morofe ; and feemed to have no dif- 
" temper upon him, but fufiennefs and melancholy," p. 130. 
So that cither there muft be Spiras > in Phyfick as well as Divi- 
nity, 

1 A n.ime become proverbial, from Fiancis S^ira, a learned counf llor 
of repute at Citadella in Italy, in the middle of the fifteenth century. Thi> 
wretched m.in, the father of eleven children, was educated in the Romifh. 
faith, and continued in that communh n til he was 44 years old. He is 
faid to have acquired a plentiful eft.te by corrupting juftice, and other ini- 
quitous practices ; but, meet ng with Tome treatifes of Wicklitfe, he be- 
came fenfible of his crimes, and commenced a zealous teacher of that 
great Reformer's doctrine. At the end. of fix years, being cited before the 
Pope's Legate at Venice, he was prevailed upon to fi^n an instrument of 
abjuration, and was again received into the Romifh church. He firvived 
this recantation but two months, which were pafled in the mod unhappy 
defpondency imrginable. He appeared a perfect Skeleton, was always 
raging for drink, ever pining, yet fearful to live long ; dreading hell, yet 

eovcting 



VOYAGE TO CAJ AM AI. iC: 

nicy, or elfe there may be difeafes which have fymptoms that I am 
not acquainted with ; though my opinion is, that his death 
ought rather to be attributed to his unbelief, than to my want of. 
knowledge. 

I had likewife a Mother, that, upon the death of her Child, 
was very troublefome. 1 was fent for to a Colonel's Son, taken 
" with a Fever, and who was then in Convulfions, cold Sweats, 
'* &:c. I had him cupped and fcarified, gave him cordials and 
*' drops ; but ifi fome hours, his weaknefs increahng, he died," 
p. 95. I had no fooner difcharged my duty, in receiving my 
fees, and making my bows, &c. but, ao I was getting on horfe- 
back (for in that town I was forced to ride from door to door 
10 my patients) an out-cry was made, that the Lady of the 
houfe was dying. The foolifh " Mother, upon the Boy's death, 
" had fallen into violent Hyfteric Fits," p. 96. It feems fhe had. 
been very lavifh of her tongue, That the curfed Dutch Dog and 
fometimes Doctor had cut her child to pieces, tore out its heart 
blood, and given it poifon ; and that fhe would be the death of 
him. I conhdered whether the provocation was not fo great as 
that I might have let her gone after him ; but corr.'paffron made 
me give her twenty drops of Sal Armoniac, and let her " fmeli 
•' to my bottle of Volatile Salt, which was only half full, whereby, 
" there being particles ready to illue out in plenty, the fer.fories 
" were irritated, and the fits taken off." Though fuch language 
and pafhon ought to be corrected ; yet fince they proceed more 
from ignorance and ill-breeding, and want of conversation with 
the Learned rather than malice, Death may ieem to be too fever* 
a punifhment. 

1 had fevernl Noftrums, that I generally made ufe of upon fuch 
occafions : As, " Liquid Laudanum, Dec.octurn Album, Rice- 
" milk, Cortex Peruv. Extractum. Rudii, Venice Treacle, Luca- 
" tellis Balfam, Infuf. Croc. Metall. Confetr. Alkermes, Cin- 
" namon Water, Syrup of Clove-gillyflowers, Elixir Proprie- 
" tatis, Flos Sulphuris, Oxvmel. Sci!l. Vinum Emeticum, Spirit 
" of Caftor, Oil of Amber, Spirit of Sal Armoniic, Caftile Soap. 
" and Diafcordium," p. 91 — 96. 

coveting death ; in a continual torment, yet his own tormentor • till at 
length, worn out with grkf and terror, impatience and defpair, he departed 
this miferable lite, an Cxc.-asrdinary examp'e of the juflice and povxr of 
the Almighty. 

Vol. II, M Y«, 



it2 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

Ycr, notwitlvftanding all thefe Medicines, Art Was often forced 
to yield to the prevalence of the Difeafe. Death fet a period to 
the Apbthecstfy's Bill ; and the Patients found reft, either in the 
Chu'rCh-yartl or their o\Vn Gardens. 

The perfons I had to deal with happened for the moft part to 
have been jolly companions and hard drinkers. I was fent for to 
feve'ral when they were drunk, and left thein dead drunk. 

One of my firft Patients was a Gentleman who had " the Gout, 
•' and tampered with it ; his ilomach was alwa'ys out of Order, 
" becaufs of lijs exc< (fi've drinking, cfpccially Brandy and Sugar, 
'* by way of Dra n, in a' morning, to fettle, as he thought, hi? 
«' ilomach. He i i vomiting and loofenefs, which cO'n- 

ling the DcctfErum Album, Eafy Opiates, 
could think of, till he died," p. ;g. 

'•' The Chevalier MahoJ r, giver, to drinking and fitting up late, 
•' inuch troubled with Ik Ichings, died of a Drbpfy," p. 98. " I 
" had a Wheelwright died of a Dropfy ; another of a Dropfy, 
* Cbnfumption, and Pox," p. 101. "One, by a Salivation il'I 
•' mafia; choaked', hotwitriftandihg what could be? done 

•'for him," p. 93. " Mounfieurf Hbmperns had loft Ids limbs 
" by drinking Ram Punch : 1 in fome mcafure recovered him ; 
" but afterwards he fell into a violent vomittihg and loofenefs, 
" and in a very few days he died," p. 10;. " Dr. Hopman had 
drinkei of Rum Punch; 1 gave him Chicken 
'■ Broth and Watergruel ; he fent for another Phyfician, fell in 
*• Convul lions; and died," p. 112.. M James, a Servant Man-, 
*' though 1 ftruggled all I could, died of a Dropfy. A Joiner 
" died of a Cor:luii:j,'.Hi!i, notwithstanding Confect. de Hyacin. 
J* and oth^r things of that nature, given to flop his Loofenefs," 
p. tie. "I found feveral whole brains and fenfes were difturbed 
•' by rlieir excefies : one aged about fixty, from drinking too 
" much wine, for faintjriefs fell into a lethargic diflemper, talked 
"incoherently, and died. A Gentleman, much given to venery 
"and intemperance, Lad a Dropfy j and, although my medicines 
" wrought well, the watery humoui overwhelmed his Brain, made 
" him delirious, and alfo feized his Lungs, fo that he had a great 
" Cough, and died," p. 14.9. " Roger Bran, a Baker, by Wine, 
" Sugar, and Water, from morning till night, fell ill of a Vomit- 
•Vting and frenzy. J endeavoured what I could to remedy both 
''- the one and the other ; bu; he grew more outrageous, ana died 

" itt 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. 163 

" in a few hours," p. 144. " Not to mention Simon Stoker, who, 
" after a great debauch, lying on a cold marble floor, fell into a 
" Mania, fo that he was obferved to fpeak and aft very inco- 
" herently, and to get up in the night ; nor Snap, the Poftilion, 
'< who ufed to grow mad by drinking Rum Punch," ibid. " One 
" Skcllum's wife fell ill of an intermitting Fever ; one of the fits 
" ran fo high, as that after long and phrenetic difcourfe, notwith- 
11 ftanding Bliftering, kc. flie, after falling into cold fweats, died," 
p. 151. 

Here, I confefs, may have appeared a large fcene of morta- 
lity, and fufhcient to have depopulated a fmall Plantation. How- 
ever, it demonftrates my former proportion, concerning the ne- 
ccflity which a Phyfician has of looking out for good Church- 
yards for his Patients. 

But now, to come to fome of the Cures I have effected, I may 
he bold to fay, that no perion has made more ufe of Water-gruel, 
Chicken-broth, Betony, Sage 14 , and Rofemary-tea, nor with better 
effeft than myfelf. I may likevvife boaft of my improvement of 
the ufe of Feathers in the cafe of Vomiting. 

I cured Mrs. Buller, " of troublefome fancies and chimeras in 
" her thoughts, amongft other things, by the Sage and Rofeinaiy- 
" tea which I gave her. Afanguine Major, who had debauched 
in Brandy foi feveral days and nights, withont reft, fent for 
" me. He complained of a giddinefs in his head, and a fluttering 
" at his heart: I gave him Betony, Sage, and Rofemary-tea; fo 
u his diftemper wrought oft by degrees of itfelf, by temperate 
" living," p. 109. 

In like manner Mrs. B ■ , u on drinking too much wins, 
" fell into a vomiting, and going to ftool very often. I on 
" her a great deal of very thin Chicken Broth, and, after a fuffi- 
" cient evacuation, and a draught in the evening, flie was perfectly 
"well," p. 113. "A gentlewoman, Mrs.——, was troubled 
" with the Belly-ach, by drinking Brandy and ftrong Licpuors : 
" I cured her with Broth, Water-gruel, &c." p. 1 iS. 

I had feveral Patients that I called my Pellet-merchants, all 
which I cured by the fore-mentioned fpeciheks. " Mr*. Buller 
/ 

k The incomparable Tin 'Hire of Sage and Elixir of BArdana were then 
unknown; the difcovery of their virtues being refcrved for the imrnorta- 
lizat'on of Sir John Hill \ 

M z « Ml 



tff USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

" fell into a cor.ftipation of her belly ; I ordered her pin lick, bv 
" which ihe voided fome hard round balls, or Pellets, like Sbeeps- 
" dung. Then I gave her Sage and Rofcmary-tea, then a 
"vomit, which I promoted by thin Water-gruel and a Feather 
** put into her throat," p. 98, as I had done to Sir Henrv Muftard 
and others, p. 93 ; and afterwards fte was perfectly well. *' I 
*• cured a Turner of his Pellets by much Water- gruel. And 
" a Taylor bv the fame medicine, though his Pellets weie as haid 
" as ftones," p. 134. 

I had great fucceh> with " a Laundry-maid, who was troubled 
" with a Pruritus, or Itch ; I cured her with Brimftone t" by 
which I found a wonderful alteration between her " ringers, 
*' which before were uneafy, both by their itching and unfeemli- 
" nefs;" it being adifeafethe molt improper that could be for a. 
perfon of her profemon. 

" I cured a Cooper, by fending him from his Wife ; for, be 
" having a great pain in his Stomach, I doubted whether the 
i<r Compreilion in congrejfu might not deprefs the Sternum, and 
" make him worfe ; he being worfe every morning when at home, 
'• and better when at fea abient from his wife," p. 117. I have 
found the fame prefcription very prevalent, where married per- 
sons have been troubled with difcontent:, pceuijhnefs, or jeahulj. 

I was as fortunate in my applications to " one Bels, a Negro 
" woman, who ufed to tend children ,- fhe grew melancholy, mo- 
" role, taciturn, and by degrees fell into a perfect mopiflinefs oi 
" ftupidrty ; if fhe was bid to do any thing, flie would forget it; 
«• for inftance, put a broom- in her hand to f weep the houfe, there- 
•• (he itood with it looking on the ground. By cupping, vomit- 
" ine, and jalap, I made h«r ilir the broom, fweep the houfe, dc 
*' as flie was bid, and tend the children," p. 114. 

I pleafed one of my Patients, Mr. Doe, whom I had " re- 
•' lieved of the Belly-ach. I wifhed him to avoid taking away 
" any Blood, or making ufe of Phyfick ,- and that he fhould take 
♦' an exact care oi his diet, that it were eafy of digeftion, and 
<■• pleafant to his palate. To thefe laft prefcriptions he readilv 
4< agreed, and I heard no more of him," p. 119. Whenever 1 
made'ivfe of the method before-mentioned, my Patients never died- 
under my hands. 

One of my mofl complete fucceffes was with "a Servant," for 
v.iijm I had defigncd " burnt Wine and an Opiate : his MiftreL" 

(fox 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. 165 

("for womsn will be tampering) " had given him a Vomit, which 
** worked with him till he was feized with a Cramp." Upon this, 
fhe was frightened, thought (he had killed him ; and in this lad 
extremity, as people then ufually bethink themfelves of a Phv- 
cian, fhe fent for me. I ordered him burnt Wine, and defigned 
to have given him an Opiate ; " but he was well without it." 

I had many extraordinary ctfes, arnongft which, I muft reckon 
this as one : w About the month of September, in the year 1708, 
" Count Dhona's family were taken very ill of continual violent 
** Fevers, one after another being feized till it it went round the 
" whole houfe ; it ufually invaded them without any apparent 
" caufe," p. 31, or at leaft a very fmall one. My Lady's Wo- 
man, being called in hafte, ran with her mantua unpinned, and 
had it an hour after. The little Page fell into it immediately, 
becaufe the Houfekeeper did not give him Cake for his Breakfalt 
jult when he afked for it. Mrs. Bridget took it, becaufe (he \va; 
ordered to mill the Chocolate when it was Mrs. Chriftian's bufi- 
nefs to do it, p. 57. La Roache and Valiere, two rival Footmen, 
were taken ill out of complaifance to Sufan the Laundry-maid, 
who fell fick of it, p. 48. " I myfelf had it, and could not alTign 
" any caufe, if not being a little uncovered in the night by the 
" fheets falling off." But we all recovered. 

I had a remarkable cafe : I was called " to a Tavern-keeper's 
" wife." I found her " taken with a Lethargy, inclining to an 
h Apoplectic Fit ; on '/cry violent irritations, fhe would lift up 
" her Eye -lids, but would not fpeak. I ordered her to be bled 
" and blifUred; I gave her Diagridium and Drops of Sal Armo- 
" niac ; then I ordered one to hold a bottle of Volatile Salt to 
" her nofe, and a Snuff to be given her, of Marjoram, Bctony, and 
" White Hellebore. I flill proceeded." Now, to fee the wonder- 
ful operation of .thefe Medicines, the Drops, the Bottle, and the 
Snuff! The Gentlewoman was f about forty, fat, and phlegma- 
tf tic," juft upon her falling into this " Lethargy and Apopleclic 
*' Fit." During my operations, I was often interrupted by two 
or three old women : Lord, Sir, do not butcher the poor woman 
fpj fhe is only a little overtaken with a quart or two of Brandy 
more than ufual ; flay but till we have drunk three or four bowls 
of Punch, and fhe will come to herfelf ; fhe has been often fo, 
ind 1)0 harm came of it. " By the help of what 1 had given her 
M } " hrfh 



166 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

" firft, fhe went to ftool in the bed ; then her blifters rofe, and then 
••' ihe fncczed, and was heard to cry, Ought Ought three or four 
" times." Some of her neighbours aiked me, if it were not pro- 
per fhe fhould be fhifted ? To which, after due confuleration, I 
agreed, and prefaribed fotne Frankincenle to be burnt in the 
roorri. By plying her hard for two days, fhe looked up, nay more, 
could " fay a word or two, as Dry, Beer, Drink, and call for the 
"pot to make water ;" afterwards " fhe grew better, but fliut 
" her eyes ;, and, being morofe, would take nothing, and fhut her 
*i eyes. I threatened to get a pan of coals, and burn her with 
" them on her head ; which fo alarmed her, that fhe took things." 
I heard afterwards, that, as fhe grew fober, fhe grew well,[and that 
her morofenefs of temper proceeded chiefly from her being afhamed 
of what fhe had done. But fhe perfectly recovered of that 
drunken fit, by the aforefaid remedies. 

I had an inftance of the ill effect of not taking remedies in the 
order they were prefcribed, in one Broomfield. " He had a 
" Vomiting and Loofenefs, by drinking to a great height in Ca- 
"nary; I gave him Liq. Laud, and fome other things; but he 
" being fomething morofe and ill-natured, and at other times 
" phrenetic, and fo not taking his medicines as he ought, in fome 
" time he died," p. 142. 

I was> more than ordinarily fatisfied by the good fuccefs I had 
concerning Hogs Puddings. " A Hog being boiled, the Blood, 
" kept fomething too long, was made into Black-puddings j fe-r 
*' veral of the perfons eating them were taken ill of a Vomiting. 
" Being called, upon enquiry I concluded the Puddings to be the 
" caufe ; and, to follow the motion of Nature, gave them a Vomit, 
" to difcharge the caufe, efpecially confidering the Puddings 
*' were fcarce out of the ftomach ; upon Vomiting and a Cordial 
" Draught, they all recovered," p. 9;. I found feveral things 
dubious in this cafe : Firft, whether they were "furfeited, orpoi- 
** foned ?" Secondly, whether Nature would not have difcharged 
the caufe if I had not been called ? Thirdly, what fhould be the 
reafon, " Why fome fhould be violently ill, and others who had 
" eat of them fhould not complain at i:ll }" I attribute this laff, 
to the averfion that ordinary perfons generally hear to Phyfick, 
and that they durft not complain, as being more an aid of the 
Doctor than the Poifon. As to the lawfulnefs of eating Black 
Pudding?, fee the Focm of " Pugna Porcorum," vcrfe; the 90th, &r. 

I found. 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. 167 

I found an excellent Receipt to cure a melancholy morofe 
Huiband. Mrs. Barnevelt " brought me to fee her Hufband,\vho 
" had been very melancholy for feveral months ; he was morofe," 
fo that he never pulled off his hat, nor afked me to fit down ; 
" he would fcarce fpeak,," except it were" No, or, You lhan't," 
when his Wife afked any thing of him ; he was always " drowfy 
" and fleepy," as well up as a-bed. " I bled him, purged him, 
u gave him Sp. C.C. then bliftercd him," p. 151. In a few day? 
he was quite well ; and his Wife had a new gown and petticoat, 
and any thing fhe would defire, rather than fhe mould bring the 
Do6lor again. 

I had great fuccefs in affairs concerning Children. In the year 
1 700, I difcovered the fecret, " Tlrat Children lying in Huts, 
** expofed to the winds, were taken with Chincoughs ; that raw 
" Fruit will breed Worms, and that Worm-feed is proper for 
*' them," p. 104. " Face-cloaths, or Linen to be pinned over the 
" face of new-born Children, are never ufed in Cajamai," p. 115, 
it being hot, and thought there very unhealthy; and indeed the 
true jeafon is, they would ftifle them. Infant children, " that 
¥ have not the Breaft, are brought up by hand very well," p. 147 ; 
and I advifed this, rather than having them fuckled by Nurfcs 
that were very debauched as to drinking. " I always thought 
" tampering with Phyfick too much with Children, where the 
" difeafe is not plain, not to be fafe, they not being .able to inform 
^ the Phyfician of their malady, but by frowardntfs and crying," 
p. 148. It were to be w.ifhed, therefore, for the help of Phyfi- 
cians in fuch cafes, that women of good fenfe and ingenuity 
fliould be made Nurfes for fome time - ? fuch perfons, I mean, as 
flrould be chofen according to the method of Quincfilian ; that 
they fhouldftudy Dr. Wallis's 1 rules for making dumb and deaf 

perfons 

1 In 1653, in a treatife, " De Loquela," annexed to his " Grammatica 
** Linguae Anglicanae," Dr. Wallis tells us, " he has philofophically con- 
" fidered the formation of all founds ufed in articulate fpeech, as well of 
ec our own, as of any other language that he knew } by what organs, and 
" in what pofition, each found was formed ; with the nice diminutions of 
" each, which in fome letters of the fame organ are very fubtile : fo that 
" by fuch organs, in fuch pofition, the breath illuing from the lungs will 
ff form fuch founds, whether the perfon do or do not hear himfelf 
" fpeak." Purhiing thefe reflections, he was led to think it poflibl?, 

M 4 that 



iJ3 USEFUL T R A N S A C T I O N 5. 

jet forts be uni'.crftood; that they fliould have Bp. Wjlkins's m 
uniwfal charafter, and fie by the Pitture how every Letter-is 

that a deaf pevfun might be taught to fpeak, by being directed fo to apply 
the organs of fpeech, as the found of each letter required ; which children 
learn by imitation and frequent attempts, rather than by art. He made a 
trial or two wiih fuccefs ; ami particularly on Alexander Popham, fon tc the 
fimous admiral ; which involved him in a controverfy with Dr. William 
Holder, who claimed the merit of the cure (which the )a;terhad performed, 
it fecms, in 16^9; but Popham lofing what he had been taught by Holder, 
he was fent to Dr. Wallis. who brought him to his fpeech again). — Dr. John 
Wallis was born Nov. 23, 1616, was educated at Emanuel College, Cam- 
bridge; and was chofen frilow of Queen's about 1640. He was one of 
the earlicfr members of that learned body which gave birth to the Royal 
Society, and was appointed Savilian profefTor of geometry at Oxford, in 
1649, by the parliamentarians. At ths Restoration, he met with great re- 
fpedr from king Charles 11, was continued preftlTor, and appointed king's 
chaplain. His works were collected by the curators of the prefs at Ox- 
ford in 1699, and publ.fhed in 3 vols, folio. He died Oct. 28, 1703- — Dr. 
Holder was educated at Pembroke Hall, Cambridge; in 1660, proceeded 
D. D. and was afterward canon of Ely, F. R.S. canon of St. Paul's, 
fub-dean of the royal chapel, and fub-almoner to his majefty. He pub- 
lished feveral ingenious works ; and died Jan. 24, 1696-7. 

n " Dr. John VVilkins was born in 1614; entered a ftudent of New Inn 
in 1627, whence he removed to Magdalen Hall. Joining with the parlia- 
ment, he was made warden of Wadham College, April 13, 1648 ; in 
1056, he married Robina, fifter to the Protector, and obtained a dif- 
penfacion fur keeping his wardenfhip. In 1659, he was made rnafter of 
Trinity College, Cambridge, by Richard Cromwell; but was ejected, on 
the- Restoration, next year. He then became preacher to Gray's Inn, and 
rector of St. Lawrence Jury. About this time he became an active 
member, of the Royal Society ; was foon after made dean of Ripon ; and 
in 1 6 6 S , bifhop of Cheft er ; which preferment he did not long enjoy, 
flying Nov. 19, 1672. He published " A Difcovery of a new World, &c." 
at the age of 24; " A Difcovery of a new Planet, &c." in 1640 ; 
'-• Mercury, or the fecret and fwift Meffenger, Sec." in 1641 ; " Ma- 
'•' thematical Magic, &cc." in 1648. Thefe pieces were published entire, _ 
!n oi:c volume, 8vo, in 1708, under the title of " The Mathematical and 
'•' riiil.l phical Works of the Right Reverend fohn Wilkins, &c." with 
1 oimt of the Author's Life. To that collection i* fubioined an ex- 
trad of'hi's } .rper work, prin r ed in 1688, folio, and intituled, " An Effay 
•' towards a Roil Character ind a Philofophical Language.'' He was alfo 
'he author of fevers! theological works of rep'.'tarion. 

framed 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAL ic 9 

framed by the organs of fpeech. This would fhcw us the in- 
fancy of Letters, and the firft formation of articulate found-. 
Hence we mould know what children mean by fcrewing; the:* 
faces, and clafping their hands ; and whether they call for Alilk or 
Panada when they whimper, whether they do not afk for Sack 
when they arc froward, and whether by their crying and fquaul- 
ing they do not pofitively demand fomething to eafe them ot tjhfl 
Worms or Colic. But of this I mail treat briefly hereafter, \.x 
my Sixth Folio of the Generation of Butterflies. 

There was a Reverend, Gentleman that I had cured, by pre- 
ferring, amongft other things, my old remedy of " Sage and 
" Rokmary made into a drink, after the manner of Tea," p. i. f 6. 
(I often gave this to my Patients, for I knew, according to my 
maxim, that by fuch medicines, if they were " never the better, 
" they would be never the worfe," p. 147.) He had fallen imo 
a Confumption, by draining " his lungs in preaching." I ad- 
viled him " to remove from his pariih, to a place where no op- 
" portunity ihould be given of exercillng his lungs fo much," 
and to make a Sine-cure of his Living; " by this method he was 
" relieved." But afterwards, I fuppofe, being troubled with a 
femeamim confeience, and having no Phyfician by him, " he re- 
" turned to his parifli, fell into a fpitting of blood, turned con- 
" lumptive, and died j a fatal injlance of not following pre- 
" fcriptions ! I have often obferved, that the immoderate draining 
" of the lungs, by finging, hunting, trumpeting, inviting pepple to 
V fhows, &c. have brought Hoarfenefs, Coughs, Confumptions, 
"great Pains, Ulcers under the Sternum, and Death." What a 
number of worthy perfons have been loll by this means ! Ballad- 
fingers innumerable, who have caught violent colds at the corners 
of ftreets and at country markets ; Trumpeters to Monfters, High. 
German Artifts, and Lotteries ; Merry Andrews, Orators, 
Bullies, Welcomers, and other eloquent perfor.s, who, at the ex- 
pence of their own lungs, have in a manner extorted money from 
the audience, by the rhetorick of" Rareft Show in all the Fair, 
" jufl going to begin ; Gentlemen and Ladies, come in and take 
" your places !" But I hear that the Britifh nation have in fome 
meafure prevented this evil, by the fuppioflion ot Lotteries n ; and 

n A fpecies of Gaming which was Coon revived, and has within theft 
Vtry few years been extended to an enormous excefs. 

that 



t-j9 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

that May-Fair" and Bartholomew-Fair p are regulated ; and that 
the Magiftrates of London hunt with decent and becoming gia- 
vityl. I am extremely glad of this, for the fake of my old ac- 
quaintance, whofe affiftance and civilities I acknowledge to have 
received when I praftifed there as a Mountebank. 

" I faw mod of the Difeafes in Cajamai which I ha,d met withal 
* in Europe. Among the reft, it is very ordinary there for 

• So called from the month of May. It has been entirely abolished neat 
forty years. Shepherd's Market, near Curzon Street, was built on the 
fpot where it was held ; and the furtounding diftrict is ftyled " May 
« Fair." 

P Fitzrtephen, in 1 1 74, defcribes Smithfield (p. 36, ed. 177a) as a plain 
field, both in reality and name. " Here," fays he, " every Friday, unlcfs 
t it mould happen to be one of the more folemn feftivals, there is a 
" celebrated rendezvous of fine horfes brought to be fold. Thither 
" come, either to look or buy, a great number of perfons refiant in the 
" city, earls, barons, knights, -and a fwarm of citizens. — In another quar- 
*' ter, and apart from the reft, are placed the vendibles of the peafant, im- 
" plements of hufoar.dry in all kinds, fwine with their deep flanks, and 
*' cows with their diftended udders." Fiteftephen takes no notice of 
Bartholomew Fair, though it was granted by Henry II. Neither Maitlar.d 
nor Strype mentions the date of the grant ; fo that perhaps it might be 
pofterior to the year J 17.J.. Richard Sandwich, cujlot of the city in 
1295, difputed with the pricr of St. Bartholomew's concerning the profits 
•rifing from the fair; alledging, that, as the city privileges were forfeited 
to the crown, all the cuttoms and benefits arifing within the faid city muft 
belong to the king. — The fair is now reduced to a mere fliadow of its 
original confequence ; and is, in fadt, little more than a mart for toys and 
gingerbread, and a place of exhibition for jugglers and occafionsl monllers. 

<i " Many of the citizens take great delight in fowling, with merlins, 
" hivsks, &c. as likewife in hunting; and they have a right and pri- 
" vilege of hunting in Middlefex, Hertfordihire, in all the Chiltern coun- 
" try, and in Kent as far as the river Cray." Fitzftephen, p. 52.— 
It appears from the fame writer, p. 26, that Middlefex Foreft was then of 
confiderable extent : it was deaforefted in 1218. Amongft the officers of 
this great corporation, that of " The Common Hunt" (at prefent enjoyed 
by James Chamnefs, efq.) is not the leaft diftinguifhed. He has the care, 
of the pack of hounds belonging to the lord mayor and citizens, and at- 
tends them in hunting in thofe grounds to which they are authorized by 
charter. The Sword-bearer, the Common Cryer, the Common Hunt, and 
the Water Bailiff, are ftyled " the Four Efquires of the Lord Mayor's 
" ijoufehold." 

(* fcrvants 



VOYAGE TO C A J AM AT. r 7 i 

** fcrvants to pretend or diffemMe ficknefs of feveral forts; but 
" thefe by attention may be found out by Phyficians, and by pro- 
" per Queftions be difcovered as Forgeries, Perjuries, and 
* Lies," p. 141. I have found feveral young Scholars, after the 
time of breaking up, troubled with great inflammations and fore- 
nefb in their Eyes, fo as not to be able to look on a Book ; and 
lometimes with great pains in their BoweU and Stomach. The 
former I cured by Bljfters behind their Ears, and advifing more 
between their Shoulders and upon their W rifts in cafe their 111— 
nefs continued ; to the fecond I prefcribed bitter ?nedicines y as 
Wormleed, Centaury, or Hicra Picra, to be often repeated, ac- 
cording to the violence of their diftemper; and by thefe I feldom 
failed of a cure. I had great difficulty with ** a lufly Negro 
" Footman, who was to go feveral miles of an errand ; about 
tl twelve at night he fell extraordinary fick, lay flrait along, 
" would not fpeak, groaned, and feemed in a great agony j fome 
" who flood by thought him dead, fome bewitched, others that he 
" was poifoned. I examined matters as nicely as I could, con- 
" eluded this was a new ftrange difeafe, fuch as I had never feen, 
" or was not mentioned in any Author I had met with. Atlaft it 
" came into my head that he counterfeited ; whereupon I told the 
'* by-ftanders, that a Frying-pan with burning coals applied to 
" his head, and lighted Candles to his hands and feet, was the 
a only method to awake pcrfons in fuch cafes. Upon giving 
" him a quarter of an hour's time to confuler, he came to his 
" fpeech, and went about his buiinefs," p. 141. I do not men- 
tion this as a Receipt, but as a turn of thought, or coup cCefprit, 
which I had, and is very ufeful for a Phyfician. But the cafe 
which puzzled me mod was that of " a Carpenter, a lufly He- 
" Rogue, who faid he had the Bclly-ach. Fie had a blanket about 
" his middle, made wry faces, and bemoaned himfelf very much ; 
" he went to ftool very well, and did not vomit, I.told him, that 
" I believed he diflembled, and that, if he were well chaftized, 
" it would be his beft Phyfick — he feemed not to be of my mind." 
This fomething flaggered me ; when a young man I had with me 
defired he might fpeak. He had been apprentice to an Englifh 
Mountebank, and could name twenty Difcafes, all which, he faid, 
his Mafter could cure more than any other Orator could pretend 
to. Sir, fays he, the poor man is dangcrouflr ill ; and, if you 
let me examine him, you will find he has the Yawns, the Bones, 
1 and 



r 7 z USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

and the Hockle-grockles. — Pray, Friend, fays the young man, eft* 
not you find in a morning, when you arc called to work, that 
your eye-lids fink down again when juft lifted up ; tha; ycuv 
mouth opens by degrees, and very wide, and your breath come* 
out leifurely, with a Y — A — W — N at fome diftance; that your 
arms ftretch beyond your head, and then fall down again by your 
tides; that you have a fort of liftldfnefs or I-don': know-how- 
ifhnefs upon your fpirits, when vou mould rife; and that you 
had rather turn on the other fide, and go to fleep ? Oh, Lord, Sir, 
cries the Carpenter, every morning, indeed, Sir; and otten in the 
afternoon, Sir. Why then, fays the young man, you Irave the 
Yawns extremely. — But pray, Friend, when you fhould go of 3 
aicliage, and are bid w do or lift any thing, do not you find that 
vou have a Bone in your Leg, and another Bone in your Ann' 
Oh Lord,.Sir, cries the fellow, Bones, Sir ! I feel Bones all ovee 
me, from my Fingers ends to my Great-toe. Why then, replies 
the Youth, it is evident that you are extremely afiii£ted with the 
Bones ; and I pity you with all my heart. — But again : As to 
your Stomach ; when you are to work, do you find you have any 
ftomach to your work ? Truly, cries the Fellow, very little or 
rather no ftomach at all, Sir. — But, fuppofing you had a Plum- 
pudding, a Loin of Yeal, or Pig, provided for you, do you think 
you could find a ftomach ? What fhould ail me, fays he 5 — But if, 
a feeond time, you had a tit-bit, a hollow Bird, or fo, do you 
believe you could find another ftomach ? I warrant you, cries 
he, I could a very good one ; pray try me. — Then, turning to 
W, favs the Orator, Moft noble Doftor, you perceive the honeft 
JvLm ha; the Hockle-grockles, a defperate difeafe ; you fee he has 
two fcomachs to eat, and neyer a one to work ; this ran never be 
cured, unlefs he ftands the nointing. which is a fcarification with a 
Catrand-nine-tnik, and a fomentation, or imbrocation, of the bleed? 
\qv parts with fait and fair water. His Mafter .prornifed that the 
operation fhould be forthwith performed; but our backs were 
fctrccly turned, when the Patient fled for the fame. 

Here I intended to begin my Bool;, and to have fliewn what di- 
verf'tv I found in the Leaves of the Weeds growing in the Plains 
and Woods of Cajarnai ; how fome were fmaller, fome larger, 
fome whiter, browner, or greener, than others of the lame fpccic$ 
in. Europe, wjith their Figures curioufly de)ineated ; but the En- 

gravejj 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAI. * . r 7i 

graver, who mould have defcribcd " the various forts of Ferns that 
" I Lave colkifted, the White Bramble, the Bulk, the Difciplined 
" Swine, the Negroes Jackets," and feveral' other things of great 
importance, was lb ungrateful as to difappoint me; but I hope 
fpeedrly to make my Reader fome amends. 

In the mean time, I Ihall give an account of the ftrange variety 
ef Food tiled in feveral Nations, either out of neceiTitv or war.ton- 
nefs ; which I took occafion to consider of, from fome extraor- 
dinary forts- of Diet that I found in Cajamai, 



Concerning feveral forts of odd Dishes ufed by the 
Epicures and nice Eaters throughout the World. 

* "O^-SIDES the ordinary provision of Cajamai, the Inhabitants 
£j " eat the Racoon, a fmall Quadruped ; Rats are there fold 

" by the dozen, being thought delicious when feeding on Sugar- 
" car.es," p. 20. They are much better than tame Rabbits or 
Kittens, fo much efteemed by Gypfies. u The Indians eat 
" Snakes or Serpents ■," which tlvey take not to lie lb muddy as 
Pond Eels. " They likewife eat the Colli, a fort of Worm,. 
" breeding in rotten Timber," with as much eagernefs as Tillv 
bite at CaJdes or Gentils, and Robin-red-bieafts fly at Maggots 
when we have cracked naughty Filberds. 

" It is very happy for mankind that they were not reftrained 
'* by nature to any limited kind of food ; for otherwife they 
" fhould be at a great lofs when they came to multiply and 
" replenifh the earth, and live in climates where the difference 
*' of air and foil raifes new variety of vegetable and animal pro- 
" dudtions, they would want fuftenance, were they not fitted 
" by nature to make ufe of what they found ready for that pur- 
" pofe," p. 20. There would not be Beef and Glutton, Barn- 
door Fowl, Geeie, Hogs-puddings, and Apple-pyc, enough for 

• te common people, if the Gentlefolk had not taken a fancy to 
Herons, Bitterns, Peacocks, Swans, Hares, Cocks-combs,- Hogs- 
ears, Mulhxoons, Terrenes, Soups, and Oglios. 

" Nature has for this realon given to mankind their Cutti.ig 

"and Tearing, as well as Grinding Tee:'../' ibid.; that tough 

4 meat, 



i 7 4 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

meat, paxwax, and griftles, might not be loft, and that hard. 
Bifcuit, poor Jack, and Suflolk Cheefe, might come to be fwal- 
lowcd j (he has likewife given them Cracking Teeth) that fo thev 
might receive nourishment from Crack nclls, Nuts of all forts, 
and Kernels ; it fuffers infants to have no Teeth for a while, that 
fo Pap and fugared Milk may be confumed ; and then permits 
their Teeth to encreafe by degrees, that fo white Bread and Butter 
and Quaking-pudding may have their fharc in the nutriment of 
mortals; and afterwards, in old age, it takes away their Teeth 
apain, that fo Jelly-broths, Sack-pollet, and many other {lengthen- 
ing tilings, may have their turn of being uietul. 

" Some people live very well on Vegetables only, thinking 
" it inhuman to kill any things to eat;" fo do the Biachmans 
hi The Indies, and all that profefs the Pythagorean Philofophy : 
"others on Flefhonly; others live on Vegetables and Flefli," 
p. 21; and in fome places the Vegetables are in greater pro- _ 
portion than tire Flefli, as in Spain and France : hut more care is 
taken to adjuft their equality in tire Britilh Dorfnnions ; and this 
puts them upon many inventions, videlicet, ot roafl Mutton and 
Kidney-beans, Leg of Lamb and Collyflowers, Knuckle of \"eal 
and Spinage, and boiled Pork with Peafe, Potatoes, and Turnips. 

That which feems the ftrangeft is, " that the gicatcfl part of 
" mankind have their chief fuftenance from grains, Wheat, Rve, 
" Barley, Oats, Rice, &c. ibid. But of thefe I lball difeburfe 
at large, when I treat of Buttered Wheat, Maflin-brcad, Barley- 
broth, Rice-pudding, and Oat-cakes, whether to be fried or 
toafted. *' Kine, Goats, Swine, and Sheens Flelh, fuftains moft 
•« Perfons in thefe Parts ; fo do Camels in Arabia, and Horfes in 
" Tartary." The common Tartars only juft warm it under 
their Saddles; but the great Cham has the Cheeks hafhed, and 
the Brains fried, much after the fame manner as we do our 
Calves-head. See their Countrvman Pontakeronlkinfi's Treatife 
of the Tartarian Luxury. " Moft in Greenland" (efpecially 
where there are none but bcarim inhabitants) " fee'd on large 
" draughts of Train Oil. In many parts of Lapland, Fifh is 
" their chief fubfiftence," which they drcis with great perfe&ien 
of Shrimp3, Ovfters, Anchovy, and Ketclva'p. The Body is 
ferved to the Matter; and the dried Heads are food for the Cattle. 
"In England the poorer fort have their nouriflimcnt from 
" Milk Meats," as Curds an.l Cream, Whitepox; f urmetry, &x."' 
6 The 



Voyage to cajamal > 76 

The longed Livers eat Butter from Suffolk, and Cheefe from 
Chefhire and Warwickfhire. Roots affording fuftcnance arc 
Carrots, Parfhips, Radilhes, Onions, and Turnips, p. 21 ; which 
laft cat very well boiled with Beef, Dumplin, or Bag-pudding, 
either with or without Plums. 

" Though Stalks and Leaves afford no great Nouriihment, 
•' vet they have fometimes kept many from ftarving, as Celery, 
" Endive, Sorrel, Lettuce, Spinage, Mufhrooms, Artichokes," 
ibid. But the pcrfons who deal in Pickles have introduced a 
ftrange variety, fuch as Cucumbers, Girkins, European Mangoes, 
Clove Gillyflowers, Berberies, Purflain-ftalks, Afhen-keys, and 
Broom-buds, ibid. " Many feed on Pulfe, as Garden Peafe, 
** Windfor Beans, Kidnev Beans," Grey Peafe commonly in an 
evening, Sec. " I have known a Woman in Holland feed manv 
"months upon Hemp-feed;" me by that means cleared her 
voice fo as to fing like a Linnet. " Not to fpeak of Aco:ns 
" and Beechmaft, the food of cur forefathers," ibid. But that 
was many ages ago : and now we give them to our Hogs ; and fo 
eat them at fecond-hand, in Spare Ribs, Chines, and Gammons. 
" Dates are the food of many people in Barbary and Arabia," ibid. 
They are feldom ufed by us but in old-fafliioned Minced-pies 
and Florentines. " Figs" are very ferviceable in Lent. " Pifta- 
" chias," though dear, are very nourifhing. " Cheftnuts make 
" an excellent and common Soup in France ;" and may be put 
into Veal-pie with good fuccefs. 

Joachimus Struppius, in his Book called, " Anchora Famis," 
fpeaks of " Bread made of Apples, Citrons, Oranges, Cherries, 
" Almonds, Plumbs, Grapes, Rafberries, &x." p. 22. I fuppofe 
he means the feveral forts of Pies and Tarts compounded by the 
Relief Paftry-cooks, and the Marfhpancs, Macaroons, Paftes, and 
Jellies, &c. that are made out of the forementioned Fruits by the 
Confectioners; which are not only eaten in the cafe of Famine, 
but even in the midft of affluence, affording great comfort to 
Children, and likewife to Goffips and other perfons to whom 
Nature has given Sweet Teeth in their heads, as well as Tearei i 
and Grinders. 

11 Many ftrange things have been eaten injieges, for want of 
" better food, as Skins of Beads and Leather," ibid. ; fir ft they 
V:gan with their Jlippen and girdle, then came to their JbieUs, 

which 



r;5 USEFUL TRANSACTIONS. 

which were in latter ages, as well as anciently, made of Hides, 
and thofc fometimes fcven-fold, as was that of Ajax, recorded in 
Ovid ; and at Infl came to eat their Jboes, being more afraid of 
flarving, tlian going barefoot. Upon great occafions, they ufed to 
make a ftrong Broth of Size or Glew, which, with a Starch- 
pudding, and a brace of " Tallow Candles," ibid, for fecond 
courfe, made an extraordinary entertainment. 

Maecenas was an admirer " of Affes flefh," as other pcrfon; 
have been " of Mules," p. 22, 23 ; the mixture of the Mules flefh, 
in their opinion, giving that of the Ak, a more high and fprightly 
relifh. In places where they are to be had, " powdered Bufta- 
• loes" are efteemed more than hung Beef. ' As " Lions and 
" Panthers" in Libya are very good ; fo arc " Rhinoccrots," 
though their fkins are of tlie toughefh •* Foxes flc-fh" is much 
efteemed by Politicians; " Bears," grown fat by fucking their 
paws in winter, make good parties. " Wolves flefh" is tenderer 
than Maftiff's, -efpecially when hunted. " Otters and Beavers*' 
are convenient and ready food for Bargemen, when they have not 
the opportunity to fteal Mutton. " Bats" are proper for Confb.- 
bles and Watchmen, " Crocodiles" for hypocrites and perfon- 
who defire tears at command. " Blood of Animals" afford: 
Black Pudding. " Frogs" will produce Fricafces ; but I have 
not yet received the Receipt how " large Toads are drefl in New 
" England"." 

'* Perfons not ufed to eat Whales, Squirrels, or Elephants, 
'•' >-.*ould. think them a ftrange difli ; yet thofe ufed to them pre- 
" fer them to other victuals," p. 2;. A perfon of my acquaint- 
ance, being obliged to fome Gentlemen for a kindneis, invited 
riicm to dinner, and gave them two brace of boiled Cats and 
Onions, and a difh of roalt Hedge-hogs. Though the Gentleman' 
haJ taken great pains for his entertainment, yet his Guefls would 
have heen better pleafed with other fort of provifion. 

Were the Northern Nations as exquiiite in their tafles as the 
"Romans, they would in their country feats have their fcparate 
Parks for their Snails, and another for their Rats ; for fo I inter- 
pret the Latin woi*d glires, though I know the generality of 
prions take them io\- Dormice, p. 25; of fhefe they made exqui- 
iite dainties, of the latter there are many learned remarks made 
by the ingenious Author r of " The Soups and Sauces of the An- 

r Apicius Caflius. — See the Letters to Dr. Lifter and o:hei5, prefixed tc 
Ae •' Art of Cookery," in vol. III. " cicnts." 



VOYAGE TO CAJAMAT. » 77 

tc cicnts." But I think a Friend of mine has lurpafled them all, 
by a Park which he made for Spiders j the largeft of which was a 
verv fcnfible creature, knew his mafter's voice, and anfwered to 
the name of Robin. My Friend delighted himfelf much in Do- 
mitian's way of hunting, which was Fly-catching; moftof which 
he flew, and took others alive, which he preferred as food for his 
Spiders, that he drew out of his Park as the delicacy of his palate 
from time to time invited him. 

This being onlv a digrcllion from my defign, I am afraid I 
may trefpafs upon my Reader; but, if it find encouragement, I 
have materials enough to advance it into a complete Treatife, 

•$•<$$•$< 

CONTENTS OF THE VOYAGE. 

Preface of the Publifher. 
Experimental Philosophy in vels of extraordinary Men, 133 

a manner laid afule, pag.132 An Account of Dr. Van 
Liking of.the Town pleafed Slonenbergh, and Cha- 

with Accounts of Tra- rafter of his Writings, 139 

Preface of the Author. 

How theAuthorwhen young His Curiofity about Ferns 

cat Watergrafs, Potato;, and Fernfeed, • 13! 

and Buttermilk, 136 No Conjurer fenfible of his 

His Defire of Travel, ibid. ImperfeaiOnsastohis Lan- _ 

His going to Cajamai, ibid. guage and Obfervations, ibid.' 

His Sea Sicknefs, 137 Diapetalous, &c. Quadru- 

Howhe reckoned lmThumb _ peds, &c. no Magical _ 

an Inch, ibid. Terms, ibid. 

Found which Side of Leaves Thofe that do not believe 

are greener*, ibid. Natural Hiftory Atheifts 

Knew a White Bramble in and Traitors, fent to the 

a Dark Room, ibid. Devil and his Angels, 139 

' Author's Introduction. 

Mountains higher than Dr. Van Slyboot's Argu- 

Hills, 140 ment againtt drinking Wa- 

Propbccv of Saltpetre, ibid. ter, 144. 

Ofe of Bats Dung, ibid. Regner Ladbrock's Ode, 146 

Water; River, Pond, Spring, Dryden's Hyrrm of Ale, ibid. 

Well, Maids, &c. 141 Meadows Green, 147 

Muddy, Foul Water, ibid. Hay good for Horfes, ibid. 

Definition of a Spoon, ibid. Ducks eat up the Dirt, ibid. 

Vol: II. . N How 



t 7 8 CONTENTS OF THE VOYAGE. 



How Mufcovy Ducks came 
from Guinea, 147 

Diirertation about Turkey 
Cocks, ibid. 

Swines Fleih eats like Ba- 
con, 149 

The Ingenuity and Difci- 
pline of Swine, ibid. 

Better bred than Englifh 
Hogs, 150 

How they refemble French 
Troops, ibid. 

Wild Dogs go regularly to 
Supper, 152 

Effetts of Chocolate, ibid. 

Tallow Candles, 15,3 

Lice, ibid. 

The Giant Starchaterus 
loufv, ibid. 

Dog-days, ibid. 

Small Beer not good, 154 

Untying of Breeches, 155 

No Warming-pans, ibid. 

Indians do not make Wills ,1 56 

Indian Operas, Songs, &c. ibid. 

Ode between Darco and 
Zabra, ibid. 

Common Things, Safe Por- 
tions, Burying-places, 157 

The Stroking Woman, 159 

An Infidel in Pbyfick, 160 

Mother in Fits, becaufe her 
Sun died, 161 



The Nofrrums I ufed, 16 r 

How moft of my Patients 
died, 162 

Ufe of Water-gruel, Sage- 
tea, &c. 163 

Pellet Merchants, ibid. 

Cured a Laundry Maid of 
the Itch, 164 

Cured a Man bv fending 
him from his Wife, "ibid. 

Made Befs. fweep the Houfe,ibid. 

Cured a Man, who was well 
without Phyfick, ibid. 

An odd Fever, 16; 

An Old Woman drunk, ibid. 

People poifoned with Hogs- 
puddings, 166 

How to cure a morofe Huf- 
band, 167 

Wormfeed for Children, ibid, 

A Minifter would preach, 
notwithstanding my Pre- 
fcriptions, 169 

Cured Boys that would not 
go to School, and Ser- 
vants not going on Er- 
rands, 170 

Cured the Yawns, the 
Bones, and the Hockle- 
Croc.kles, 171 

Variety of Food in feveral 
Nations, 17 j 



A YIN- 



A VINDICATION 

OF THE REVEREND 

DR. HENRY SACHEVERELL, 

FROM THE 

False, Scandalous, and Malicious Aspersions, 
Caft upon Him in a late Infamous Pamphlet, 

INTITULED, 

THE MOD ERN F AN ATICK. 

Intended chiefly to expofe the Iniquity of the Faction in 
general, without taking any confioerable Notice of theif 
poor mad Tool Bis set in particular. 

In aDIALOGUE between a T o R Y and a Wh i G. 

T O WHICH ARE ADDED, 

MR, BISSET'S RECANTATION; 

An Anfwei to a second fcandalous Book that Mr. Bis s ET 
is now writing ; 

AND 

Two other Treatifes on the fame Subject, 



H 2 



The hiftory of Dr. Sachcvercll affords a vcrv finking example 
of the follv and madnifs of party, which could exalt an obi cure 
individual, polIeHed of the lowcil talents, to an height of popularity 
that the prclent times, behold with wonder and aftonilhment. He 
was the Ion of a clergyman at Marlborough, and received part of 
his education at that place. From thence lie was lent to Magda- 
len College, Oxford, of which he was cfcofeb a fellow ; and there 
becune known to Mr. Addiion, who addrclTed to him his poem 
intituled a An Account of the greateft Englifh Poets," dated Apr. 
3, 1694. His firft preferment was Cannock, in the countv of 
Stafford. He was afterward appointed chaplain of St. Saviour, 
Southwark. While in this fhuion, he preached his famous Ser- 
mons, at Derby, Aug. 15, 1709 ; and at St. Paul's, Nov. 5, in the 
fame year; and in one of them was luppoled to point at lord Go- 
dolphin, under the name of Volpjnc. It has been fuggefted that 
to this circumftance, as much as to the doctrines contained in his 
Sermons, he was indebted for his profecution, and eventually his" 
preferment. He was impeached by the houfe of commons ; and 
his trial began Feb. 27, 1709-10 ; and continued until the 23d of 
March, when he was fentenced to a fufpenfion from preaching for 
three vears, and hie two Sermons were ordered to be burnt. This 
ridiculous profecution overthrew the Miniltry, and laid the 
foundation of his fortune. He very foon after was p relented to a 
living near Shrewsbury ; and in the fame month that his fufpen- 
fion ended, had the valuable rectory of St. Andrew Holborn given 
Kim by the queen. At that time his reputation was fohigh, that he 
was enabled to fell the firft Sermon preached after his lentence ex- 
pired for the fum of £. 100. We find by Dean Swift's Letters that 
he hail alfo iritere-ft enough with the Miniftry to provide very am- 
ply for one of his brothers. After the accclhon of king George, 
-we hear little of him except by quarrels with his parishioners, al- 
though he was much fuipected to be concerned in Atterbury's 
Plot. He died June 5, 1724; and bv his will bequeathed to bifliop 
AtterbuLV, then in exile, who was fuppoled to have penned hit 
tUUcncc for him, the fum of £. 500, 



t ttl j 



A LETTER TO MR. BISSET', 

MR. BISSET, 

TH AT there might be fomcthing between the Book and the 
Title-page, as is ufual, I was refolved to give myfclf the 
honours of writing to you, and to let you into feme difcoveries, 
which perhaps have not yet occurred to you. The firft is, thac 
Dr. Sachevercll is very much your < /W««/(which I believe is more 
than you knew, and much more than you deferve) ; for, when I 
(hewed to him thofe amazing accounts of your fcandalous life, 
which every day flowed in to the Printer's fhop, from Iver, from 
VVhifton, from St. Katherine, and your other abodes, he would 
rot fuffcr me to print them. He thought recrimination a poor 
defence ; and that the Devil could not employ two Clergymen 

a Mr. William BilTet, eldeft brother of the collegiate church of St. Ka- 
therine, and Rettor of Whilton in North amptonfhire. He publifhed, in 
1709, " Remarks on Dr. SacheverelFs Sermon;" and in 17 10, " The 
" Modern Fanatick, with a large and true Account of the Life, Actions, 
*• Endowments, &c. of the famous Dr. Sachevereli. This was followed 
by the *' Vindication" here re-printed ; and by another piece of iron/, 
a pretended " Recantation of Mr. Billet," dated " St. Katherine's, 
" Jan. 17, 1710-ir." Mr. BilTet prepared a reply, which is dated Feb. 
41, 1710-11; but did not appear foon enough to prevent the publication 
of Dr. King's " Anfwer to a Second fcandalous Book that Mr. Bidet is 
" now writing; to be published as foon as poflible." The Eldeft Brother 
of St. Katherine's, however, was not dilheurtened from fending his fecond 
book into the world, under the lit le of" The Modern Fanatick, Part II;" 
but annexed to it a fmall poftfeript, complaining of the " unexampled 
" folly" of his antagonift, in pretending " to foretell what was to be 
" found in the feveral pages" of his redoubted labours. Mr. BilTet was 
more ferioufly replied to, in " A Letter to the Eldeft Brother of St. Ka- 
" therine, in anfwer to his fcurrilous pamphlet ;" and alfo in " A Dia~- 
" logue between the Eldeft Brother of St. Katherine's and a London 
" Curate," both publilhed in 1711. — That, whilft we llluflrate our Au- 
thor we may do juiiice to Mr. Billet, his remarks are occafionally annexed 
to this and the two following rreatifes, by way of note on the feveral paf- 
fages to which they allude. It is obvious that the fails on which the 
Vindicator formed his arguments were fupplied by Dr. Sachevercll him« 
felf,towhom the svhole pamphlet has by tome been attributed, 

]N 3 more 



t%t A LETTER TO MR. BISSET. 

more to his own fcrvice, than in fuch a tafk ; which is the reafo* 
tha: in the Book I have brought to your remembrance and fight 
fo.few of your ffns part. 1 would advife you, in your future 
controverfies, to believe, that in all difputes ill names are bad argu- 
ments ; that a caufe may be good, though the efpoufer wants that 
character ; and that paffive obedience is a ChrifHan dottrine, 
though you can prove Dr. Sacheverell " a Rebel, a Gamefter, an 
"' Ingrate, and whatever elfe you pleafe." 

Another fecret I would difcover to you is, that the Printer has 
this Black Lift by him,- and was once refolved to print it by it- 
felf; but lie has a new Edition of " The Englifti Rogue*" in 
the prefs, and he was afraid that two Books with the fame title, 
and contents much alike, would ruin the fale of each other. 
But he is determined ftill to do it, if you perfift in this hellifh. 
employment of " accufing the l>rethren :" and I believe the 
•Doctor and I myfelf, though we " love you fo dearly," ihall not 
be able to prevent the publication. 

A third fecret is, that by your Book you have confirmed me i» 
fny notion, that the poor Do£toF is in Cicero's circumitance : 
" Nemo hoftis reip. eft, qui non eodem tempore illi quoquerbel- 
** lum indicit c ." And I think I muft tell you another fecret, 
which is the fenfe of that Latin, " That every enemy of our 

* The famous production of Richard Head, the fon of an Iri/h minifler. 
This unhappy man, who had been educated at Oxford, was bred a book- 
feller, and twice failed in that bufinefs. After many afflictions, he was 
«aft away at fea, iB going to the Ifle of Wight, in 1678. He was tits 
•author of " Hie et ubique, or the Humours of Dublin," a comedy, printed 
in 1663, by which he acquired much reputation, and of feveral other 
pieces j particularly " Nugas Vcnales," which- would have ferved for a ge- 
neral title to his works. Roguery, fornication, and cuckoldom, were 
the ftanding topics of this author, who was perfuaded that his books 
would fell in proportion to the prevalency of thofe vices. He was of a 
lively genius, and had a confiderabk knowledge in the fecnes of low 
■life and debauchery. In the firft part of " The Englifh Rogue," he had". 
given fcope to fo much licentioufnefs, that he could not get an Imprimatur 
till he had expunged fome of the moll lufcious defciiptions. Three 
more parts were added afterward by Mr. Head, in conjunction with 
Francis Kirkman, who had alfo been his partner in trade, and of whom 
•we have made honourable mention in vol. I. p. 180. 
■ c Cic. Philip. iL 

"confti- 



A LETTER TO MR. BPSSET. i« 3 

* eonftitution is an enemy to the Do&or," becaufe he has courage 
to defend it, and expofe thofe that would deftroy it : for this rea- 
fon the faction declare war with him, batter him with fcandal 
and lies, poifon him with deadly flench from De Foe d , the Ob- 
fervator e , and "yourfelf; But, alas! you only add to his cha- 
racter, and make him the more confiderable. 

I have room for one difcovery more ; which is, that I have 
done with you ; that I have no defign to enter into a paper war 
with fo weak and trifling an adverfary. If you fhould happen 
to difcover your humble fervant, it may be you may think it 
worth your while to write my Life and Character j and, that you 
may not be at much trouble to enquire into it, I will give it you 
in (hort : Some years ago I gave my friends a little reafon to 
think that I did believe a Whig Miniftry would not deftroy the 

«1 Daniel De Foe, equally famous for politicks and poetry, was author 
•f ** The Review." When fentenced to be exalted above his fellows, 
he chearfully underwent the punifhment, and wrote "A Hymn to the 
** Pillory." He was author of an infinite number of books and pamphlets j 
but is perhaps at prefent beft known by his Hiftory of Robinfon Crufoe. 
He died at IOington, in eafy circumftances, in 1731. A daughter of 
his wa» married to the truly philofophical Mr. Baker. 

« A weekly paper, by George Ridpath and John Tutchin. The firft 
of thefe was alfo writer of •* The Flying Poft," in oppofition to " The 
" Poft Boy" of Abel Roper ; for which they equally and alternately de- 
served to be cudgeled, and were fo : 

" There Ridpath, Roper, cudgel* d* might ye view, 
" The very worfted ftill look'd black and blue." Dunciad ii. x^.g. 
Ridpath was committed to Newgate, Sept. 8, 1712; and, what is re- 
markable, he and Roper both died on the fame day. — Tutchin was con- 
cerned on the fide of Monmouth, in the time of Charles II ; and, for a 
political piece which he wrote in favour of him afterward, was fentenced 
k>y Jeffcries to be whipped through feveral towns in the Weft, and handled 
fo feverely, that he petitioned James II. to be hanged. When that king 
died in exile, he wrote an inveelive againft his memory, occafioned by 
forne humane elegies on his death. He lived to the latter end of queen 
Anne's reign; and was the author of a poem called " Foreigners," 
which produced the " True-born Englishman" of De Foe. Neither 
•f thefe writers has efcaped the lafh of our Englim Homer, though it 
does not appear what provocation the Utter of them had given him : 
" Earlefs on hi j,h llood unabafti'u De Foe, 
** Ani Tutchin flagrant from the lafij below." 

N 4 Nation: 



iS 4 A LETTER TO MR. BISSET. 

Ration : but I was form convinced to the contrary, and am now, 
upon mature deliberation, a great Tory, as high a Churchman as 
any in the kingdom. 1 love to read what the Tories write, and 
to hear what they fpeak ; I meet them at home and abroad, and 
very often Dr. Sachevercll is one of them. I think as they think,/ 
and do generally as they do^ and I fancy, if you enquire nicely 
and very malicioufly, you may find, from the day of my birth till 
row, that 1 have not kept rhyfelf without fin. It may be, I have 
robbed an Orchard, and difobeyedmy Matter at School, quarreled 
with the College Cook, fcolded furioufly at my Laundrefs, and 
taken a Degree too f . If you mould in your walks hear any 
thing of this nature, be fo kind as to keep it fecret ; for I am 
related to a great man in the Holy Society for Reformation of 
Manners I, who I know in his ivill has left me two of Oliver's 
Shillings, and a great Silver Calves-head j with the Works of 
the learned Bunyan h , the devout Baxter", and that admirable 

Polemical 

* This expreflioa of our Author milled Mr. Biflet, who concluded from 
ithis antagonilt was a Divine } and rook occafion, on that fuppofition, 
to reprimand him in feveral parts of his fecond book, for " writing out 
«« of character." 

i! This very ufeful fociety, having been treated cavalierly in Dr. Sa- 
cheverell's Aflize Sermon at Derby, was defended in a little treatife under 
th« title of " The Judgement of Dr. Henry SachevereJl, concerning the 
" Societies for Reformation of Manners, compared with the Judgement 
" of many of the Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Honourable Judge* 
*' of this Kingdom, and that of Ireland. With fome Reflections there- 
" upon. By Jonah Woodward, D. D. 1711." 

*» John Bunyan, born in 1628, was the fon of a tinker in Bedford- 
shire, where he for fome time followed his father's occupation. Accor- 
ding to himfelf, having a heavenly call, he applied diligently to read the 
Scriptures, and in a few years became a noted preacher as well as writer. 
He was long confined in the county gaol, for holding conventicles ; and 
fpent his time there in preaching, writing books, and tagging lacet for 
his fupport. After his enlargement, he travelled into many parts of the 
kingdom, " to vifit and confirm the brethren." He died Aug. 31, 1688; 
aged lixty ; having written books equal to the number of his year?. 
«' His mailer-piece" (fays Mr. Granger) " is his Pilgrim's Progrefs, one 
" of the moft popular, and, I may add, one of the molt ingenious book* 
** in the Englim language. — Bunyap, who has been mentioned smongft- 
" the leaftand loweft of our writers, and even ridiculed as a driveller bj 

* iho(9 



A LETTER TO DR. BISSET. 185 

Polemical Divine Ben Hoadly k ; all which I mall certainly lofe, 
if he hears from you, whole veracity he very much confides in, 
that I have been fuch a profligate liver, egg and bird. 

Jan, 



Farewell. 
Hi :7t?. 



H thofe who never read him, deferves a much higher rank than is com- 
«' monly imagined. His Pilgrim's Progrefs gives us a clear and dillinet 
** idea of Calviniftical divinity. The allegory is admirably carried on ; and 
" the characters juftly drawn, and uniformly fjpported (an obfervation, 
" however, not to fee extended to the Second Part). The author's original 
*' and poetic genius fhines through the coarfenefs and vulgarity of his 
" language; and intimates, that, if he had been a matter of numbers, he 
M might have compofed a poem worthy of Spenfer himfelf." This 
able Biographer, apprehenfive that " his opinion may be deemed para- 
" doxical," has modefl.lv confirmed it by the fentiments of two judicious 
Poets, Mr. Merrick and Dr. Roberts. 

» Mr. Richard Baxter was born in Shropshire, Nov. 12, 1615; and 
died De«. 8, 1691. He was the author of 145 different treatifes; and hit 
practical works have been publifhed in four volumes folio. The molt 
considerable of his writings are his " Catholic Theology," and his 
«' Saints Everlafting Re!l " — '* A Shove to heavy-arfed Chriftians," and 
" Eyes and Hooks for Unbelievers Breeches," with fome oti-»r tracts 
under equally ludicrous tides, were fathered on him by L'Eftrange. 
— He wa» a man famous for weaknefs of body and ftrength of mind ; 
for having the ltrongeft fenfe of religion himfelf, and exciting a fenfe of 
it in the thoughtlefs and profligate j for preaching more fermons, en- 
gaging in more controve rfies, and writing more books, than any other Non- 
conform^ of his age. He fpoke, difputed, and wrote, with tafe ; and 
chfeovered the fame intrepidity when he reproved Crcmwell and ex; oftu- 
lated with Charles II, as when he preached to a congregation of mecha- 
nics. His zeal for rel ; gion was extraordinary ; but it feems never to 
have prompted him to faction, or carried him to enthufiafm. This cham- 
pion of the Prefbyterians was the common butt of men of every other 
religion, and of thofe who were of no religion at all. But this had 
very little effect upon him ; his prefence and firmr.efs of mind on no 
•scafion forfook him. He was juft the fame man before he went into a 
prifon (where he was committed by Jtfteries in 1685), while he was in 
it, and when he came out of it ; and maintained an uniformity, of cha- 
racter to the laft gafp of life.— -See more of him in Granger, 
k See bereaftpr, the note inp. loo. 

A VINDI- 



[ t86 ] 

A VINDICATION 

OF THE REVEREND 

DR. SACHEVERELL 1 , 

*' Vir bonus, et prudens, dici dele&or ego, ac to ; 
*' Si clamet Nebulo furem, neeet cflc pudicum, 
" Contendat laipieo collum preffifTe paternum. 
° Mordcar opprobr'usfalfis, mutefnque colores * 
*' Falfus honor juvat, etmendax infamia tenet 
" Quem, niiiMendofum,etMend<icem." Hor. Ep. I. xvi. 22. 
«* As a madman who cafteth forth fire-brands, arrow?, and death : 
M io is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, aud faith, Am I 
" not in fport ? Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out : fo 
41 where there is no Tale-bearer, the fhjfe ceafeth." Prov. xxvi. 
18, 19, 20. 
" The treacherous dealers have dealt treacber onjly : yea the 
• treacherous dealers have dealt very treachero.uflv." If. xxiv. 16. 



M 



wifhed to fee. 

Whig. How is this? What ! do you call me DeftrucTjon : J 
am a ftranger to that name. 

To. What, a Whig, and a ftrangerto Deftruftion ! Sure you 
are but young in that clan ! I look upon Whiggifm and 
Deltr.uc~tion to be infeparable : I never fee one of you, but 
defolation, and ruin, and all the ills of human life, ftand forc- 
moft in my thoughts ; my furprized fancy gives me an ex- 
tempore landfkip of all the miferies and calamities of 41. The 
-head of a Whig, unlefs upon a pole on the City-gate, has upon 
me in fome meafure the effects of Medufa's in the days of yore ; 
it brings a eoldnefs upon my blood, Aiffen6 my joints, and for 
a little while gives me fome relation to a ftatue. 

Wh. Hey-day ! the old verbofe high-flying rant ! and .yet, 
for all this, " I am the only man you wifhed to fee." How does 
the compliment and the chara&er confiit ? 

To. It is really true; I never faw a Whig with fatisfaftion 
Vcfore, unlefs it was Daniel De Foe in the pillory. 1 am glad 
1 Sa an account of him, above, p. j8o. 



A V I N D I C A T I O N, &c iff 

to fee thee, l>ecaufc I would chaftife thee ; non quod amem, not 
becaufe I love thee, fed quod odio h abeam, but becauie I hate 
thee. I intend to roaft thee, old Ruin ; to fpread thy face with 
confufion, as it is with brafs. I will give thee fuch a lively 
portraiture of the faclion thou efpoufeft, as fhall imprefs thy 
confcience, though it be as hard as adamant; the detellablo 
picture fhall give you loathing and abhorrence, equal to the 
love you now feem to bear to fome of the odious originals. You 
have found trly mind in a pofture * fuited to the enterprize ; I 
will let it loofe upon tl>e occafion, and take my fill of roaring 
at your abominable clan, vour nefarious timely-defeated comrades. 

Wh. Why fure thou art pofleft ? 

To. I am ; not of the Devil though, hut of a Book that I 
believe he dictated, or had a hand in : it is a legitimate fon of 
the Father of Lies, the true offspring of the " Accufer of the 
u Brethren ;" it is this Book here, " The Modern Fanatick ; or,. 
" an Account of Dr. Sacheverell's Life, &c." written by 
that poor Madman Billet of St. Katherine. The character of 
the man is lb contemptible, that I wonder your party fhould 
chufe fuch a mifcreant for their champion ; it is a certain fign 
you are finking, when you catch at fuch broken reeds for help 
and fupport; I know the abilities of the man to be io defpicably 
weak"; his incapacities, even in his moil lucid intervals, are fo 
known and open, that nothing but infatuation could have drivea 
you to that choice. The Impeachment and this are the firft- 
rate party ftupidities of your Failion ; for every Porter has you 
in ridicule, and anfwers the whole Book with this decifive, " Ic 
" is done by poor Billet, the plain Engliih mad-man *1" 

Wh. Why truly I have brought the Book along with me, 
and did intend to make it the fubjeel: of our conversation while 
I flaid. You may talk as contemptibly of Mr. Billet as you 
pleaf; : the Book is admirably well written, he has futficienrly 
cxpo'.ed your Champion and jour caufe ; and I hope it will op»a 

™ I have hard of ho^i'.y poitures often, but never of mental, \ e. of 
invilVile, portures before ; and I fancy it would puzzle even Pjikre-mafter 
Clarke to exprefs them. Biiset. 

n Wmk abiliiits is like full if impthtefs ; and he that is mofi defpicaUy 
weak has certainly in that refpect no abiliri;s 3: all. BisstT. 

Here'* language !— This is that wotiiol lia* c»i:e<i i-r, ;•,..««>.- :: 
" rejoicing in ini^iii ty." Bisset, 



Ill A VINDICATION OF 

the eyes of thofe deluded ones, who are induftrioufly blind, and 
even averfe to feeing. I do allure vou, it has quickened the 
Spirits of our friends ; it' has given the party a life we did not 
expert fo foon ; and let me tell you, Neighbour Tory, it has 
fapt your chief buttrefs. 

To. We dclpife you, and all the efforts vou dare prefume to 
make againft us; we are built upon a rock, we have weathered 
out all the itonns that you and the Devil could pour out upon 
us, and are not to be hurt by thefe little puffs, which give me 
juft fuch apprehenllon of danger, as I mould have, if I faw a 
Church-mouie undermining the walls of it. Have we been 
acquainted with that faclion two or three and twenty years ? 
have wc feert your arts, and known your play ? have we learnt, 
bv dear-bought experience, that you have neither honour, con- 
fcience, nor loyalty ; that forgery, flunder, and bare-faced lying, 
are the chief weapons of your warfare ; that vou have all along 
fought with the Church with them only ? have we fo long heard 
you acknowledge the advantage of throwing dirt, " that fome 
,( will furcly (tick, if plentifully beftowed ;" and do you imagine 
that bv this time wc have not cretted fufficient defences againft 
all fuch weapons ? do you think they are able to make the lead 
impreiTion upon us, though managed by the moit dextrous arm ? 
I do allure you, they are not : they have now a quite different 
effect, and ferve only to give us mirth ; they administer now to 
our pleafure, and not to our pain. A Book of Whiggifm, to 
me, is " A Pill to purge Melancholy P ;" I fit down to read it, 
as I do the Hiftories and Memoirs of Dean Kennet i, with full 
alfurance, that the whole is one long premeditated lie. This is a 
true and a fhort character of this Book of Billet's ; there is in it 
fuch a vifible averfion to truth, that one would think the Author 
believed the nature of Virtue and Vice to be changed ; that a lie 
would fave, and truth condemn. I have been with Dr. Sacheverell ; 
and he has fumifhed me with fuch materials as, I think, will 
convince the mod implicit Whig, that every ftory in that Book 
relating to him is a malicious (lander ; that there is not the leaft 
grounds for any of them ; that every one of them are entirely the 
children of that fertile womb of forgery and lies, of malice and 

P A title of one of D'Urfey's performances j fee above, p. jo. 

* See p. 37, of our third vulume. 

revenge, 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL 18* 

revenge, the head of an enraged disappointed Whig. If you will 
have patience, I will make my Remarks to you upon the mod 
material parts of the Book, and confute them as I go along ; and 
leave you to intcrpofe and object, in what manner, and as often as, 
you plcafe. In the Book, he charges the Tories in general, and 
the Doftor in particular ; and the poor inconiiderablc wretch does 
it with an air, as if he had fpoken ex cathedra ; he makes himfelt 
a man of ftrange importance, that one would imagine the whole 
kingdom was to ftand or fall with him : a ftupid creature, never 
fixed in any principle, halting between the Church and Conventi- 
cle ; a pretended zealot for both, and, to the great difhonour of 
God and the Church, and the Bifhop that ordained him, an At- 
tendant upon both. In his Study, as I faid before, he is ignorant 
to the laft degree ; in the Defk, he is irregular, indevour, and, by 
an induftrious whine, ridicules the Liturgy; in die Pulpit, he is 
tedious, nonfenfical, rampant, enthufiafiic ; his Converfation is 
impudent, reviling, unhandlomely reproving; "the poifon of 
<• afps is under his tongue, and he fhoors out his arrows, even 
" bitter words," which he learnt from tire Sailors in St. Katherine, 
his chief companions ; in his Morals, he is lewd, fenfual, de- 
vililh, even to affaulting women r at noon day, and in his gown. 
This, I allure vou, is a true account cf the man, and I can make 
it good by undeniable tefiimony ; but I think I am not obliged to 
hring my vouchers againft him, till he thinks fit to produce any 
but Hearfay againft the Doftor. 

Wh. I mall be very glad to lay out the time I have to fpend 
with you in the manner you propofe ; but I muft beg of vou to 
obierve lome moderation, and bridle your tongue : you pive it a 
very unchriftian liberty, and feem to revile us with pleafure. I 
have heard a quite different account of Mr. Billet, and he ftands 
very fair in the efteem of our people ; I protelt, we always cried 

r Why don't they or their relations bring their adlion ? I once mcr» 
declare, before God and the world, that I never committed fornication, 
much lefs adultery j never offered to pick up any woman in my life, nor 
entertained a thought or purpofe of fo doing. My wife ar.d children are 
in Northamptonfhire ; and I have had for thefe two years a widow gentle- 
woman, younger than myfelf, with a maiden daughter about 16, living 
with me in the houfe. And is it 1 kely fhe would venture her ferfjn, 
daughter, and reputation, with fo lewd a mifcreant ? Bjbiet. 

» him 



i - * A VINDICATION OF 

him up as a very able man, and fome amongft us are not a little 
proud of him, efpecially fince this Book. I ihall be very much 
furprized if you can clear the Doctor and his friends, and wipe off 
the afpcifions in that Book, which truly I think they aie very 
open to, and which he has very judicioufly and fairly faftcned 
upon them. 

To. What I have fpoken of the man, I again affirm to be 
true ; I do not doubt but the Faflion is proud of him, and of them- 
felves too, becaufe he is a Clergyman ; to debauch a Parfon, i» 
more pkafurc to them than ten other conveifr,. The Devil it 
more pleafed with one Chriftian of his. feducing, than ten 
Heathens. 

Wh. Well, pr'ythee hold thy tongue, and go on with youP 
eaufe ; fee what he lavs in the Preface. 

To. In the Preface ? Nothing but a little High- treafon, or fo \ 
He wonders that the Whigs can be yet fo tame and paffivc ; he 
thinks that they are all dead, or ftrangely ftupid, that they do not 
immediately rife, and " difpenfe the contents of a few Mufque- 
** toons" at the Qjjeen and her Minifters. It is a great furprize 
to him, that they do not prepare their powder and ball, with a 
few texts of Scripture, and fight for " the kingdom of Chrift ;" 
that his Saints may be re-eftabliihed, and have the rule of the 
earth : for his part, he is ready, his Mufquetoons are charged, 
and he " thinks it his duty" to fall on ; his fingers itch to be 
dipt in the blood of a Churchman, that " the tongue of his dog» 
" may be red through the fame." I never heard a fellow talk 
of Murder with fo little concern in my life ; he makes no more 
©f killing a thoufand men, only for hollowing for the Church and 
the Doctor, than if they were fo many Wafps in a Honey-pot j it 
would delight his ears, to hear the Daughters of his Brethren 
fing, that " Hoadly • had killed his thousands, but Billet his ten 

" thoufands." 

* Few writers of eminence have been fo frequently or fo illiberally 
traduced 5 yet fewer ftill have had the felicity of M living till a nation 
*' became his converts," and of knowing " that fons have blurtied that 
•« their fathers had been his foes." — This great divine was born Nov. 4, 
1676 ; educated at Catharine Hall, Cambridge ; was eledted lecturer of 
St. Mildred, Poultry, 1701 j was rector of St. Pettr's Poor in 1704, and 
of Streatham in 1710 ; king's chaplain Feb. 16, 1715-165 bifhop of 
Bangor, March 18 following } tranflated to Hereford in 17:1, to Salifbury 



THE REVEREND DR. S ACHE VEHELL. t^t 

** thoufands." He fwears, lie would have made flrange havock if 
the Pretender had landed j he would have fent him home with a 
flea in his ear ; it is a pity he got out of Edinburgh Frith, when 
Sir George Bing was at dinner, and could not look our, or hie 
whole fleet fall afleep s ; I believe he thinks he could have 
managed him at the head of his army with as much eafe as hit 
Murle could when me had him in a Warming-pan. He is 2 
deadly bloody-minded fellow ; they tell me, that under his gown 
he is perfectly hung with loaded piltols, that he looks like one 
of the figures in the Queen's armoury in the Tower. 

Wh. Hold, you go on too far indeed. It is true, I do think 
he talks a little too feelingly of Mufquetoons and Murder,- but 
I mufl needs fay, that he and all of us are very much in the right 
to ftand upon the defenfive. I do allure you, your raifing that 
mob has given us fufficient reafon to look about us. 
: To. We raife that mob ! It is falfe : your party raifed it ; and 
I charge them with it, and God will : and the Government fhould 
be avenged of you for all the raifchief that enfued. That Riot 
was adjudged to be High-treafon ; and I look upon Mr. Hoadly 
to have as great a fliare of the guilt as Damaiee or Purchafe " : 

certainly 

in 1713, and to Winchefter in 1734, which he held near twenty-fevea 
years ; till, on April 17, 1761, at his houfe at Chelfea, in the fame calm, 
he had enjoyed amidft all the ftorms that blew around him, he died, full 
of years and honours, beloved and regretted by all good men, in the 85th 
year of his age. — His ufeful labours, which will ever be cfleemed by all 
lovers of the natural, civil, and religious rights of Englishmen, were col- 
lected into three large volumes in folio, 1773, by his fon, Dr. John 
Hoadly, the prefent chancellor of Winchefter, the only furviving male of 
a numerous and refpeclable family j who has prefixed to them a lhort 
account of the Bifhop's life, 

t On the iath of March, 1707-8, late at night, Sir George arrived at 
Edinburgh Frith, whither the French came but the day before ; and 
firing a gun for the fleet to come to an anchor, the enemy was alarmed, 
and flood out to fea. They were purfued by the Englifh admiral j wh« 
took the Salifbury man of war, and feveral prifoners of note. 

« The mob that attended Dr. Sacheverell to his trial attacked Mr. 
Burgefs's Meeting-houfe, March 1, 1709-10 j and, having pulled down 
the pulpit, pews, Stc. made a bonfire of them in Lincoln's Inn Fields, 
and would have thrown in the preacher if they had found him. A pro- 
clamation was ifiued, next day, offering a reward of one hundred pounds, 

for 



,„t A VINDICATION OF 

certainly he and his abettors all along intended a tumult, but one 
of their own kidney. They knew tiie advantage of it in the trial 
of poor Strafford w , and the execrable attempts upon king Charles 
the liiTt; and therefore Ben was pitched upon to blow the horn, 
to hollow the hounds together, to loo them full cry at Monarchy 
and the Teachers of Non-refiftance. He was to tell the people, 
*' that they were the original of government ; that kings and 
1 queens were creatures of their making; and when any part of 
*» their government was difpleafing to them, it was their duty 
" to rebel; to bind their kings in chains, and their nobles in 
" links of iron ; that the governed part had a right to do them- 
" felves juftice, when they apprehended any grievance or op- 
" preffion from the governing part." Now, when care is taken 

for apprehending any of the rioters. The abovementioned perfons were 
all that were difcovered. They were afterward tried at the Old Bailey 
for High Treafon ; and, being found guilty, received fentence of death : 
but, as a very able writer, Sir Michael Fofter, obferves, her Majefty's 
new advifers did not chufe to have the dawn of their adminirtration trained 
with the blood of Dr. Sacheverell's ahhjl advocates. They were there- 
fore pardoned; and Damaree, who. was one of the Queen's Watermen, 
was reftored to his badge and livery, which he wore until her Majefty's 
death. 

w On the 3d of May, 1641, an armed mob, led by Cornelius Burgefs, 
a Puritan Dodlor of Divinity, went to Weftminfter, crying out •' Juftice I 
** Juftice !" againft the earl of Strafford. They rifled Weftminfter Abbey, 
and infulted the king at Whitehall ; and when the juftices of peace 
would have committed fome of them, they were themfclves committed 
by the commons, who hs& incited the infurre£tion. — The earl, who was 
great from his honours and preferments, but greater in and from himfelf, 
pleaded his own caufe, with a clearnefs apd flrength of reafon, that mult 
have cleared h : m in any court but fuch as were determined to condemn 
him. When he faw that the force of argument was not likely to prevail, 
he had recourfe to the pathetic, of which he was a great mailer. Such 
were the powers of his eloquence, that many, who fincerely hated the 
prime minifter, as fincerely pitied the man. In the lift dreadful fcene of 
his life, he acquitted himfelf with a greatnefs of mind, fuitable to the 
dignity of his character. His enemies difplayed a malignant joy upon this 
occafion ; but his difmayed and affrighted friends considered his death as a 
prelude only to more executions. If there was a /hade in this great man's 
character, it was, that fome parts of his conduct coincided too much with 
(he arbitrary proceedings of king Charles. See Granger. 

M 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 193 

to inftil fuch principles as thefe into the minds of the people; 
when they are perfuatled " that they are to fpeak, and that none 
" is Lord over them ;" is it to be wondered at, that they aft in 
conformity to the doftrine which they have learnt ; that they 
take upon them to exprefs their refentment by fuch infurreftions, 
when their Governors, by any mal-adminiftration, as they think, 
become obnoxious to it ? Now indeed it happened, that this mob 
rofe with inclinations perfeftly different from what was expefted 
from them; and I am confident the FaElion promifed themfelves 
a moft profitable harvefl from the feed which Ben had fo artfully 
and fo induftrioufly fown for them. But though, as I fay, it. did 
happen that the lower had reafon for this complaint, 

" En quels confevimws agros !" 
though all he had done proved to the advantage of the enemy, 

" Sic vos, non vobis, vellera fertis, oves !" 
yet the guilt, the malignity, ftill refts upon the FaSlion. And I 
do think every mob for the future, I mean of this nature, that 
mall rife, may juftly be charged upon that doftrine; and he 
that preaches it, and he that praftifes it, is a Rebel to God and 
the King. 

Wh. How can we be faid to raife a mob that appeared in 
every thing againft us ? do you think that we intended to ftir up 
fo many enemies ? 

To. No, but I fay that, mobs and rebellion being the natural 
confequence of that doclrine, they that enforce and teach it are 
traitors ; they are the authors of all ftate-commotions, and are 
to be punilhed as fuch. It is true, this mob was againft you ; 
but they learnt of you to rife : they were taught it at St r Peter's 
Poor x , and vengeance mould begin there firft. 

Wh. But pray why fo much vengeance ? I think, if we did 
raife it for you, you ought to thank us ; you need not take it ill. 
I believe we (hall be very careful how we oblige you another time. 

To. All tumultuous alfemblies are againft my principle ; I 
hate mobs and infurreftions, though they favour my fide : it is 
a poor caufe, and a poor government too, that muft be fuppoited 
by popular tumults. A Ramp, and a Cromwell, and a Whig 
Miniftry only, court the many-headed monfter ; and therefore 
I muft needs fay, I neither thank them, nor juftify thcin. The 

* Alluding to the Difcouifcs of Mr. HoaJly, then Rcclor there, 
Vol.. II. O tranfaftiow 



i94 A VINDICATION OF 

tranfactions of that night, when Daniel Burgefs J fuffcreil, were 
extravagant, illegal, and amounted to high-trcafon : and yet I 
think it is to the eternal honour of her Majefty, that in her great 
clemency fiie gave her royal pardon to the two unhappy ignorants 
that were faid to appear foremoft, and fuffered condemnation; 
they certainly did not know that they were committing treafon ; 
they were hurried on by their zeal for a good caufe ; and 1 be- 
lieve in my confeience the men thought that they were acting 
Mir, not that they were rebelling againft, their Sovereign. Thus 
von fee, Friend Whig, I lay the riling of that mob at your door y 
upon the account of your dodrine. I alio charge vou with it 
upon the account of your practice ; for I believe it confided of 
Whigs and Dillenters, as well as Church-men- 

Wh. Dillenters' Why, do you think they would pull down, 
iheir own Meeting-houfes ? 

To. Ay, their very Dwelling-houfes, to ferve their caufe. 

Wh. What advantage could thev propofe ? 

To. I will tell you; juft the fame that they propofed from 
Daniel de Foe's " Shorten; Way with the Dillenters z ." In that 
Book, in effect, they are all to be confounded, their houfes burnt 
about their ears, and a general maffacre to enfue. This the 
villain in his papers and pamphlets wrote againft, as a Book 
publifaed by the Church-party ; alarms the whole world, pleads 
for the poor DilTenters, prays for the Queen's protection, and 
hopes fhe will at laft open her eyes, and not fuffer this bloody 
High -church persecution ; and much more to this purpofe. The 
Book was written To artificially that a great many well-meaning 
people began to believe it; from thence to pity them, and frora 
thence to fide in fome meafure with thofe that had taken upon 
them the name of moderate mens but you may remember, I 
believe poor De Foe does, that the fecret was difcovered, and 
the villain punifhed. Do you want any application, old Rump? 

Wh. No, no, I fee your drift : you would make me believe 
that the DilTenters pulled down fome of their Meeting-houfes, 
and charged the High-church with it, to make an eafier way to 

y See above, p. 191. 

2 This work containing reflections againft fome ecclefiaftics in power, 
for breathing too much a fpirit of perfecution, De Foe became obnoxious tor 
the miniftry, and was under a neceffity of explaining himfelf J which he 
did very explicitly. 

fome 



THE REVEREND DR. 5ACHEVERELL. 195 

ibme uncommon indance of her Majedy's favour, and fet the 
High party at a greater didance from her good efteem ; and 
fettle the principle and the men of moderation, that is, the then 
Minifhy, more firmly in her Court. But, however, I do not 
think that one Diu'enter did appear in that mob. 

To. I am fure fome of them did appear in it, and in Bridewell 
too afterwards ; but it does not appear by what authority the 
two bold unworthy ignorant Jufices difmiiled them in the night, 
and fent them from that place of correction and confinement t 
but it appears ivhj they did do it; the plot would have been 
all discovered, the villainy laid open, and the Faftion branded 
dill with more marks of infamy and reproach. I think vm 
need not take any more notice of the Preface : this is the bur- 
den of the Song ; the red is only a tedious account of himielf, 
the danger that he is in, the greatnefs of his family, the good- 
nefs of his principles, and the quietnefs of his confeience ; if that 
be quiet, then the fea may be fill in a ftorm ; then muft he ha 
feared and hardened, even to a Hate of reprobation — to accufe 
a brother clergyman ; to expofc him as an inGendiary, a fhedder 
of innocent blood, and a public nuifance to church and date; 
to give an account of a life that he knows nothing of j to charge 
him with all the wickednefs that the moil abandoned villain 
upon earth can be guilty of, without the lead proper or necef- 
fary teflimony • to revile, ridicule, and betrav, a Church that 
gives him his bread ; to fide with the enemies of that doctrine 
and difcipline, which in the mod folemn manner, even at the 
facrament, he has fsvorn to maintain, obferve, and obey ; to be 
a public fcandal to his order, a very hilling and a reproach to 
all good men; and this too inuufhioufly, with defign and plea- 
fure to himfelf : for a man, I fay, to be guilty of all this 
"malicious wickednefs;" and then " call God to witnefs, and 
" pray that the lie, if it is one, may be recorded againd the day 
" of judgement, that he never wronged any man, for this laffc 
" 21 years of his life." This is fuch a barefaced defiance of 
God and judgement, that i: feems to me the mod confummate 
reprobation. Human-nature, one would think, in the very lowed 
degree of corruption, could not be hurried to fuch a dupendous 
pitch of iniquity, to a fin lb abominable, fo heinous, fo damnable. 
But I pray God forgive him, and all thofe who have any fhare 
in that detedablc Book, and the hellifh principles that urged 
them to the publication of it. 

O 2 Wb. 



ic>6 A VINDICATION OF 

\\ r H. Come, come, as the Manager 1 faitl to Dr. Sachcverclt 
at the trial, " Pray tor yourfelf, we don't want your Prayers :" 
vou are plaguy pious on a futklcn ; make a man a devil, ami 
then pray for him : it Mr. Billet was here, I do not doubt but 
he would be able to juftity himfelt, and throw you upon your 
back in every article. Let us now lay by the Preface, and 
come to the Book : I want fome of the ftories ; you arc mighty 
unwilling to come to them : I would fain hear you plead for 
your Doctor. Cleanfe him from the fins we charge him with, 
*' et cris mihi magnus Apollo ;" walh off that dirt, as vou call 
rr, which Mr. Billet has thrown upon him ; and I will fwear 
you can do more than all the water in the Bay of Bifcay. 

To. Soft and fair, old Noll ; let us make our approaches re- 
gularly : here are three or four pages more in our way, before 
we come to the Doctor. I mull: not ftep over them, without 
fuch remarks as their malignity entitles them to. 

The commendable concern, the rightly-managed zeal, which 
we have lately exprelTed for the Church, for the Queen, and 
our native country, againft the fecret underminings of the in- 
triguing moderate, and the open invafions of t\\e furious Fanatick, 
he is pleafed to call " enthufiafm," p. 2 ; " an idea of fanaticifm, 
" fiery doclrine," p. 3 ; and all the red hot names that a moderate 
man, in the burnings of paffion and rage, can invent or think 
of. I appeal to you ; give me anv inftance of our madnefs or 
enthufiafm; tell me anyone outrage that we have committed. 
That upon the Meeting-houfes I charge you with : it was cer- 
tainly the work of your own hands ; and though you did not 
perifh in it, yet, I thank God, your caufe perifhed by it: " That 
*' which you thought would be for your good, was unto you 
" an occafion of falling ;" the certain fate of thofe that let them- 
fclves againft God and his vicegerent. 

Is it madnefs, or enthufiafm, for a people to (hew themtclves 
a little alarmed upon a public invafion of their liberties, their 
properties, their fovereign, and their religion ? How many years 
had we been grieved and plagued with »ou ! The Church of 
England (hewed fome of the brighteft inftances of her modera- 
tion, in the Apoftle's true meaning, " of her bearing afflictions 
" patiently ;" (he found her doctrines difputed, her difcipline 
not minded, and her fupreme head, the Queen, infulted and 

a Suppofed to be Sir Thomas Parker, afterward earl of Macclesfield. 
1 abuled : 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 197 

abufed : in fhort, fhc found that both differed great abatement 
of their reputation and grandeur at home and abroad j yet fhe 
did not immediately exert herfelf; fhe was prevailed upon, by 
fpecious pretences of peace, to fit ftill ; " that thus far they 
" would go, and no farther ;" that they would foon return en- 
tirely into her bofom, and raife her to her primitive luftre 
and glory, over which at prefent the " neceffity of affairs" forced 
them to draw fome veil and fhadow : (lie acquiefced, fhe fub- 
mitted, becaufe fhe was counfeled to it by thofc whom fhc 
thought her heft and choiceft offspring ; and particularly be- 
caufe her principles taught her to be mild and peaceable ; to 
believe folemn protections and declarations ; and to hope that, 
in the end, " all things would work together for her good." 
For thefe reafons, we bore you, we endured you, we differed 
you : but when you grew impudent upon concefhons ; when 
you hoifted our condefcenfions into property and right indif- 
putable ; when you attempted " to bind the ftrong man," be- 
caufe he indulged y r ou a place in his territories j it was time 
for us then to make ufe of thofe weapons, with which the 
government had armed us, and our Religion given us leave to 
combat : the weapons I fpeak of are our votes and fuffrages 
in all elections of magiftrates and representatives in parliament; 
by thefe we quell the factious, crufh the feditious, and quench 
the fire of the Fanaticks' fury ; by removing thofe from power, 
that intrigue with the two former, and give fuel and ftrong 
wind to blow up the latter : and (thanks be to God, that, by his 
vifible help, we have ufed them fo fuccesfully of late) my re- 
membrance does not regale my foul with any thing more agree- 
able and pltafant, than when it recounts to me what 1 have feen, 
heard, and done, within thefe laft three or four months. It was 
a noble entertainment, to fee the fons of the Church of England 
rouzed from their lethargy, to fee the foporiferous draughts of 
moderation fpued up and ufelefs ; it made my heart glad, to 
behold the becoming fpirit of Burgeffes, the noble ardor of the 
Citizens, and the univerfal zeal of the Freeholders, in all their 
tefpccYive elections. How did every good man exult and 
triumph ! How firangely were our fouls enlarged and lifted up, 
when we faw the proud Whig laid now, and the haughty 
Fanatick humbled ! The young men were exceeding glad at 
this " rebuilding the temple," and the old men were pleafed, 
O 3 though 



j 9 g A VINDICATION OF 

though they feared it would not rife fo beautiful as that which 
the enemy had thrown down ; and that which crowned it all 
was, the decency, the good behaviour, and the peaceable way of 
our proceedings; "there was no madnefs, no enthufiafm, no 
" fiery zeal," but in the enemy's quarters ; they indeed were ex- 
orbitantly rampant; they had no notion of civility, complaifance, 
or genteel behaviour ; the mouths even of their leaders con- 
defcended to echo the lies and flanders which their attending 
mob belched out behind them. 

Wh. Indeed, Tory, thou art a brave fellow : thy language 
and thy impudence will bear down any caufe, and give truth 
itfelf the lie. Do not 1 know that the Tories are the rudeft 
order of men upon earth ? have not I mvfelf been infulted ? 
are " the roads fafe ?" as he fays, p. 7 ; are not we of tha 
Low-church affronted upon all occaiions ? and do not you 
" drink damnation and confufion to us every day," as Mr. 
Billet obferves, p. 2. 

To. Some people, they fay, in the army, drink a health of 
that nature ; I heard fomething like it too from Greenwich ; I 
think they fay fome folks in Hamplhire are mightily given to 
it : but thefe are Whigs, old Sir Martin Marrall, and you know 
who it is that they would " confound and damn." What 
occafion have we to drink your confufion ? Alas, poor hearts ! 
you are confounded already : your caufe, as we fay, is damned ; 
and fo will the friends of it too, if you do not repent, and mend 
your manners. Pr'ythee, honcil Noll, do not mention that health 
any more, as a charge upon the Tories : we have had but three 
public complaints ; I have told you the places from whence 
they came : the finners were all Whigs, fome of them are, and 
all fhould be, puniihed ; and not one Tory, that I know of, has 
ever been fairly charged with it, convifted of it, or punifhed for 
it. No, we have more religion, we have more humanity, than 
to be guilty of any thing fb unbecoming, nay fo directly con- 
trary to nature and Chriftianity. Damnation with us is not fo 
light a fubjeft as to mix it with our cups of merriment ; we 
underftand and fear it, and think of it with fuch aweful dread, as 
would damp the pleafure of the moft fparkling glafs, and make 
the vintages of France and Spain taftelefs as the white of an egg, 
and infipid as water, I would no more wifli a Whig damned, 
than I would cut his throat. And though BifFet talks fo much 

Bf 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. i 99 

■of " difpenfing the contents of a Mufquetoon or two" at a 
parcel of poor ignorant boys and ftriplings, and that it would 
have delighted him to have lent half a dozen of them headlong 
into the other world, whether to Hell or Heaven it was all one 
to him ; I mull tell him I have a different notion of that fort 
of difpenfation : and I make it a queftion, being led to it by the 
opinion of fome very learned Divines, whether a good Ch'riftian 
may with fafety to his confeience kill a Thief that either alfaults 
him in his houfe or upon the road. Methinks a man that had 
any goodnefs, either of nature or principle, would flart, look 
pale, and lay by the piftol, when he confidered, that, if he dif- 
chargecl it, he mould immediately difpatch a foul to mifery and 
torment eternal. The money I carry about me is certainly 
"better loft than the vileft foul : the man may live to repent and 
amend his life ; or the juftice of the nation may overtake him, 
and the man have fome time given him to make his peace with 
Heaven, and go into the other world with fome necellary pre- 
paration. In fhort, I know not how it is, my blood grows 
cold and chill when I think of murder and damnation : and I 
wonder how BifTet can fpeak of them, as he does, with fo little 
remorfe. I profefs, he appears to me more like a foraging Hulfar, 
than a fancVified Divine as he pretends to be. In a word, I will 
not believe any of our party ever drank a glafs with that abo- 
minable, that accurfed, wifh before it; and I would have had 
as favourable an opinion of your friends, though I know you 
to be exorbitantly wicked, if you had not taken fo much pains 
to convince us that you can do it, if you had not been fo pub- 
licly and fo openly guilty of it, as if you gloried in that ex- 
ceftive defection from all that was kind and human, in that 
furprizing apoftacy from all that was charitable, religious, and 
Chriftian. I declare to you, you feem to be as proud of the 
Elderfhip among the Sons of Hell, as Billet of his Elderlhip 
among the Brethren of St. Katherine. 

Wh. Well, well, all this is harangue only; I believe both 
fides are bad enough in their wifhes to one another; where 
parties run high, there will be fomething of this nature on both 
fides. Thefe generals are nothing to my purpofe, I want par- 
ticulars. We arc now come to your Doctor : he ftands im- 
peached by William Bilfet, eldeft brother of St. Katherines, of 
twelve very high crimes and mifdemeanors ; what have you to 
O 4 fay 



too A VINDICATION OF 

fay that my judgement fhouhl not pafs asrainft him ? that I 
fhould not believe that the faid William Billet, Prime Manager, 
and one of the Commons of Great Biitain, has made good the 
Articles exhibited by him againll the faid Dr. Henry Sachcvercll ; 
and that the faid Dr. Plenty Sachcvercll is guilty of the high 
crimes and mifdemeanors charged upon him in all and every 
of thofe Articles ? Imprimis, He is charged with cafting very 
*' odious and black colours" upon the Dilfenters ; chat he would 
alienate the aflcclions of all their relations that are of the 
Church from them ; and that " his practice is as he preaches," 
p. 3 ; for he was very rude to his Unkle, and would not receive 
him, though his pockets ("welled with contributions, after his 
Trial, faying, " O ! is it you > I will own no relation to any 
" damned Prefbyterian of you all," p. 4. Now I think this is 
a very unhandfome behaviour to a relation fo near, and fo 
needv, from one of the Doctor's character; it gives me fuch a 
taile of the man, as will make me abhor him. 

To. Have a little patience j I do not doubt but I fhall fettle 
the Doctor in your good graces before you and I part. I am of 
Council for the Doctor : and the anfwer that we put in to the 
Articles in general, and to what the Reverend Manager has 
tirged to corroborate and enforce them, (hall be very fhort, and 
borrowed from a Sermon lately preached by the Reverend Dr. 
Welton b before the Lieutenancy c ; " he has impeached the 
" guiklcfs, and managed againft Heaven" and his own con- 
fidence. When I firft read this black catalogue of fins which 
Billet had enrolled to the world, and declared Dr. Sacheverell 
guilty of them, and owned at the fame time that he received the 
account from " his own good friends ;" which mult in confequence 
he the Doctor's enemies — when I found that he did not fo much 
as pretend to produce any authentic teftimony, but referred us to 
the two letters of the relators names ; and yet charged the Doctor 
as peremptorily with them, as if his own eyes had feen, and his 

b Richard Welton, D. D. reflor of St. Mary, Whitechapel. The 
Sermon abovementioned was preached before the court of lieutenancy, 
from Ecclef. viii. 2. and publiined in 4to, 1710. Several more of his 
Sermons are in print. 

c Dr. Welton's fentimonts about the Revolution, and Hanover fuc- 
eeflion, were fuffiiiently difcovered in the laft 30th of January j and time 
may come when he fhall be obliged to explain himfelf. Bissst. 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 201 

own ears had heard them — the indignation that would naturally 
life in any bread that had the leaft acquaintance with honour 
and virtue was ftrangely over-ruled, and even juftlcd out of my 
mind, by an immediate reflection upon the ftate and conditio o f 
the Clergy of the Church of England. To what unhappy cir- 
cumftances are they reduced, when luch falfe brethren are vio- 
lently obtruded upon them ! when fo many Anomala's, fo many 
unaccountable Heteroclites, are found in their holy order, which 
ufed to be fo regular and fo confident ! When the Gown is ftained 
with fo many indelible fpots and blemifhes, there mult be very 
great abatements of that honour and cfleem, which their high 
office gives them a peculiar claim to. With what face can they 
blame the Laity for withholding from them a part of that re- 
verence and refpedt which is their clue, when there are found 
among them luch as " fit and fpeak againft: their brethren, and 
" (lander their own mother's fons ;" who delight in expofing and 
aggravating the infirmities and the failings of thofe of their own 
order who differ from them in the wavs and means of preferring 
the primitive purity and glory of the Church of England j who 
will not with them think, that not to preach fome doctrines' d is 
the way to have the people learn them, and that to preach againft 
others will molt effectually perfuade the people to believe and 
practife them ; in a word, fuch as will not be perfuaded by their 
arguments and preferments, that to betray a Church for reafons 
of ftate is innocent and bhmelefs, and to pull it down the 
fureft way to prefervc it. 

How often have I heard many of them enlarge, with much 
malice, upon the ftories of this book ! drefs up the Doctor in all 
the frightful colours of Tyranny and Popery, and the blackeft 
habits of wickednefs and vice ! I have heard them repeat the ac- 
counts of this Book here with as much pleafurc and deadly hatred 
as that Apoflate wrote them ; and affirm them to be true, when 
they knew, and really believed in their own confeiences, that 
they were falfe. Met bin ks, if they had any (hare of that " Cluiftian 
" temper, moderation, and charity," which they pretend to value 
thcmfelves upon, it would have prompted them to endeavour to 
*' hide that multitude of fins," not to have laid them more open, 
and by their malicious comments given them a deeper die. 

d Viz. The nature and danger of fchil'm, paflive obtdience,J and jus 
divinum. King. 

Wh. 



J©a A VINDICATION OF 

\Vh. Pray leave oft' your preaching, or elfe keep clofer t» 
your text. Did the Doctor ufe his Unkle in the barbarous man- 
ner we fay he did ? is he guilty of what is contained in this article, 
©r not guiltv ? 

To. Why truly, old Rump, this ftory has fome foundation, 
which is more than any of the reft have to boaft of : for indeed 
the Doctor's Prefbyterian Unkle did come to fee him after his 
trial ; and I think the Doctor treated him in fu'ch a manner as 
became him, and as I myfclf in fuch circumftances would have 
done. By the bye, this man is but the Doctor's Hnlf-unkle, the 
Son of his Grandfather by a fecond venture*. The Doctor's 
Grandfather, being a Non-conformift, difmheritcd his Father for 
conforming to, and taking orders in, the Church of England; 
for which heinous and unpardonal . ie fin, he was always treated 
by his Family as a Baftard, and no Son ; fo that there was no 
correfpondence between the two Families : and when lie received 
this vifit from him, he did indeed fay, but not in the rough 
manner BiiTet mentions, " That he had heard of fuch a peifon, 
M but had never leen him, nor was he fure that he was the man.— 
" If you are my Unkle," fays the Doctor, " you know that you 
" always bore an implacable hatred to my Father and his Family; 
" and we have been considerable fufferers all of us upon your 
** account. I am furprized at a vifit from you at this time, when 
** my troubles arc in a manner over; fincc you did not think fit 
" 10 acquaint yourfelf with me before, nor to let me fee you in 
" mv afflictions, and becaufe you know how great a part of my 
•' Family lies upon me, I do not think myfelf obliged to take 
" notice of anv Relation that comes fo ill recommended, and that 
" I am fure hates me upon principle, as well as an old domeftic 
f* irrudcre." 

Now this is truly the fubftance, as the Doctor himfelf tells me, 
of what paffed between them. There was no fuch exprefiion as 
" damned Prefbyterian." The Doctor did indeed mention his 
principles to him, and how far he believed they had ftifled that 
natural affection which he ought to have to his Brother's Son. 

1 muft be plain with you, Neighbour Whig. Contidering how 
barbaroufly the Difibntcrs have ufed the Church ; how they have 
rent and divided it, and brought anguilh and diftrefs of heart to 
ii._ miniftcrs and members of it ; copfidering too how great a 

■ See a pleafantry on this word in a future Tract. 
4 fhare j 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 2 9J 

fhare they had in the Doctor's perfecution, how they reproached 
and ilandered, how they curfed and damned him — 1 wonder ho 
the Doctor could fee one of them fo patiently, when his limbs 
were yet in pain, and reminded him how long, and for what, they 
had_/?oe</j he fhewed a great deal more temper and good-humour 
than I could have done, if the vilitor had been more nearly re- 
lated to mc. Among the many good things that may be laid of 
Dr. Sacheverell, I know of none that appears with more luftre 
and advantage to his character, than the care that he takes of his 
Family that wants it ; which when I come to recount to you, as 
one of the twelve articles will oblige me, I believe you will agree 
with me, that no man ever deferved it lefs. Where a man has a 
great number of Relations that expect from him, and his purfc 
is not equal to the charge their neceffitics would bring upon him, 
he has a liberty to take as many to himfelf as he thinks he can 
provide for, and reject the reft. The Doclor's Family is a little 
divided as to matters of Religion ,- and where there is a compe- 
tition for mv charity, between a Relation that is of the Church 
and another that is of the Conventicle, St. Paul feems to deter- 
mine, by giving " the houfehold of faith" the pre-eminence upon 
fuch occafions, that I am to chufe the Churchman, and refufe 
the Fanatick. And this method, I believe, the Doctor does ob- 
lerve ; and all wife Churchmen fliould do fo too. The Dillenteis 
forfooth are angry if the Church is preferred before them ; they 
muft have fuperiority in all things, if you expect to live peace- 
ably among them. They are a poor defpicable handful of afpir- 
ing Schifmaticks, fo inconfulerable in refpect to the number of 
Churchmen, that I think they can never be fuperior to us, till 
our fins have provoked, and their goodnefs induced, God to 
fuffer " one to chace a thoufand, and ten to put ten thoufand to 
" flight." The former, I am fure, is more probable than the 
latter. 

Wh. Hold ; you are running away from the text again. I 
think, as you reprcfent the ftory of the Doctor's Unkle, and you 
fay you had it from himfelf, J do not fee any thing fo criminal 
in it. If the Doctor does fo much good to his Family, I cannot 
blame him for this ; but, you know, " do ninety-nine good turns, 
" if you deny me the hundredth, all the reft are forgotten." But 
he certainly muft be an ill-tempered ungrateful man to his Rela- 

" tions 



t<H A VINDICATION OF 

tions and Friends in other rcfpc&s. Is it not an horrid thing, 
p. 4, " that he (hould quarrel with that Family that maintained 
*' him a poor Orphan at School, and afterwards at the Univcrfity ; 
" and abufe the Bifhop of Savum 1 ' upon his Mother's account, 
*' whom he has put into an Hofpital ?" 

To. If I would ft ah a man's reputation, if I would fling it to 
the heart, if the expreffion may he ufed, I would do as this viper 
B'uTet has done ; I would charge him with want of natural af- 
fection to his kindred, and common gratitude to his Benefactors. 
Where there is an ahience of thefe virtues, there can be no place 
for any thing that is commendable or praile-worthy ; the man is a 
monfter, a creature of another fpecies, and (hould be treated as 
fuch. 

But I allure vou, upon mv own certain knowledge, the Do£lor 
is fo far from knowing any want of, that he is very eminent in, 
thele virtues. His afteftion to his Relations I have mentioned 
already : as to his gratitude to that good Family, efpecially to 
Madam Hearlt of Wanbrough, who took upon her the principal 
part, that is, the charge, of his education, I know the Doftor 
never omits any occfttion of exprelTing it ; he never thinks his 
tongue more happily employed, than when it declares the obliga- 
tions that he has to that excellent Ladv £ and her Family. I have 
had the honour to be with them, when Dr. Sacheverell has been 

i Dr. Gilbert Burnet, the celebrated Hiftorhn of his own Times*} 
whofe life, and particularly the confiderable lhare he had in effecting the 
Revolution, is well known from his own writings. He was rewarded 
with the bi/hoprick of Salifbury in a few days after Icing William was 
on thethr;ne, being confecrated May 31, 16S9. He diftinguiihed himfelf 
in the ho ife of lords, by declaring fir moderate meafures with regard to 
the Clergy who fcruuled to take the oaths, and for a toleration of Pro- 
tectant Diiientcrf . The laft five or fix years of his life he grew abflracled 
from the world. He lived to fee a fucceiTion take place, and that Family 
eitabliihed in whofe intercih he had been fo zealous, and died March ij, 
I - 14- 1 5. — His famous Hirtory was publiihed, after his death, by his ton, 
Themis Burnet, efq. who has been fufpected of garbling fome characters 
h'S father had very freely delineated j a fufpicion which feems to be too 
much countenanced by the orig-nal's nrt being (as was prumifed) depofited 
in the Cotton Library. See Swift's Works, vol. XVII. p. 335. 

g A lofty title for a country apothecary's wife J Bis set. 

amongfi: 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 205 

amongft them. I profefs, I almoft envied the happy way he 
lias of delivering himfclf to them upon this fubjec! ; 1 have heard 
him recount to them the long feries of favours that they have 
conferred upon him from his almoft childhood till now; and he 
acknowledges the vaft debt to them, with lo Incoming an addrefs, 
in a manner fo fuitable to the occafion, that it was as great a 
pleafure to me to hear him own his obligations, as it was to his 
good Benefactors to lay him under them. He always calls 
Madam Htarft his Mother, and he has her permifiion fo to do ; 
and I believe fhe was as much concerned for him in his late 
troubles as if he had been " her Son indeed;" and fhe wed it in 
all the feveral refpe£r.s that his condition required, and received 
him with a particular kindnefs after his troubles were over. 

If anv thing in this Book did lean hard upon the Doctor's 
quiet, it was this infufferable (lander ; it went agatoft his foul, 
to have it reported, that he had made verv ungenerous returns for 
the mighty favours he had received from Madam Heard, Mr. 
C — lain, and other Benefactors : and though I told him I could 
upon my own certain knowledge let the world right in this mat- 
ter, that I knew there had been nothing unhancliome faid or done, 
and that there was not the leaft mifuiuierltanding between them ; 
yet the Doctor was r-efolved to conoboiate my evidence, by put- 
ting into my hands this Letter, ligned with Madam Hearit's own 
hand, and drawn up by her order in the molt paltionate and con- 
vincing manner, and will ferve to illuftrate the truth of feme 
other parts of the Doctor's hiftorv, particularly what relates to 
the Unkle we have been fpeaking of. I will reau tt to you. 

" Dear Cousin, 
" ]1J AY ING had information of a late fcandalous Libel, pub- 
'** limed againfl the Reverend Dr. Sacheverell, full of 
" infamous and groundlefs afperfions, wherein he is accufed 
" of " turning a bitter enemy to the family which maintained 
" him a poor orphan at School, and fent him to the Univerfity, 
" &:c. ;" I think myfelf obliged, in point of juftice, as well as 
" truth and honour, to vindicate the injured reputation of fo 
" worthy a perfon, fo far as it relates to myfelf h , touching 

* She fhould have faid, " and my deceafed huibsnd, and the reft of 
" my relations," it" lhc h..d a mind to have cleared him." Bisset. 

♦'his 



t0i A VINDICATION OF 

** his education, and his conduct hoth at School and in the Uni- 
" verfny. 

" I cannot hut rejoice in this happy opportunity of giving the 
"world ajull and impartial character of him, whom either the 
*• ignorant or malicious have fligmatized and blackened with the 
" moll diabolical and profligate appellation-;. 

" By tome he has been reprefented as a bafe-born perfon, as 
'* though he had received his extract only from the dunghill. 
** But, that I may do juftice to the dead, as well as to the living, 
** it is well known, that his father was a very Reverend and 
" worthy Clergyman, a Miniller of St. Peter's Church in Marl- 
" borough, of no mean or contemptible family (as the Dedication 
" of one of the Doctor's Sermons lately preached at Derby does 
M modcftlv fugged). 

" In the beginning of thofe late unhappy times of confufion, 
" the Doctor's Father was fent to the TJniverfity, not to any 
'.' College, but to one of the Schifmatical Academies there, to be 
" inftructed in the principles of Non-conformity and Rebellion : 
° but, becaulehe could not comply with his Father's intentions, 
"' which fo mightily interfered with his duty to his God, and 
" the inviolable dictates of his own conference, he was for that 
" reafon disinherited (having onlv the bluffing of one fingle 
" Shilling and the Providence of God for his future fubfiftence), 
** whilft his paternal ettate was fettled upon a more fanR'ified 
u younger ion. 

" He lived many years in Marlborough, with the deferred 
" veneration and eflaern of all his Paiiflrioners ; and when it 
** pleafed God to call him to himfelf, he left a Widow and a 
*' numerous Family, to be Supported by her own induftrious 
•' labours and the overflowing kindnell'es of her friends. At 
•' that time (by a joint confent) my late Huiband, Mr. Edward 
*' Hearft, took this his Goclfon Henry into his paternal care, and 
" adopted him as his own Ion. He had his ftrft education at the 
" public School in Mail borough, where he made very large im- 
*' provements in his learning; and I cannot but repeat it with 
44 frefli Satisfaction and comfort, that 1 never knew him guilty of 
" anv immoral, nayol any childifh action 1 ; he always retiring to 
•' Lis private devotions before he went to School, and preferring 

» It follows that il.e knew very little of him. R i S3 s t. 

" die 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. i*y 

*' the public prayers of the Church on all occafions before his 
" ordinary recreations. 

" After the deceafe of my beloved Hufband, I took him to my 
" own arms; and it is now the pride and glory of my years, to 
" be called Mother by fo venerable a Son, and in being inftru- 
" mental , under God, of railing up fo courageous a champion for 
** the defence of his Church. 

" As his youth was full of the fvveeteft modefty, and the moft 
" complying dutifulnefs, (o was his behaviour no lefs full of 
" manly goodnefs and inviolable refpeft. towards me, from the 
u time of his firft admiffion into Magdalen College, unto this 
** very hour. Neither did I ever requeft any thing of him, which 
" he did not chearfully grant and comply with, though it were 
" to his own perfonal hindrance and disadvantage. 

u I urge but one inftance more ; and I leave God and the whole 
41 world to be judge in this matter. 

" If he had been guilty of ingratitude (the blackeft fin of 
** Hell), and had been fuch a profligate wretch as the Pamphleteer 
u would reprefent him to the world, I had never dropt fo many 
" forrowful tears, nor palled away fo many reftlefs nights, nor 
" felt thofc maternal throbs and convulfions of heart, during 
H the time of his late confinement and trial ; pangs not unequal 
♦* to the trembling bowels of his own Mother, who conceived 
" and brought him four., and whofe tender paps he has fucked. 

" For the confirmation of thefe truths, I not only now fub- 
" fcribe my name, but am reauy to atteft them by a moft folemn 
* and religious oath, as well as by the laft expiring breath of, Sir. 
" Your moft obliged kinfwoman and fervant, 

*' Wanbrough, New- 

41 Year'sDay, 1710-11. " KaTHERINE HEARST, 

« To Mr. Robert Coxe, in Bafinghall- 
" ftreet, London." 

And now pr'ythee, Neighbour, if it be polTible, lav by the Party - 
man a moment, and tell me feriouflv, can there be a more abo- 
minable Lyar upon earth than this Billet ? is there luch a daring 
Knight of the Poft alive ? can any thing but a Whig be fo impu- 
♦ient as to charge a man with fuch a deteftable vice, without any 
grounds at all for it ? But the wretch hugged himfelf, I do not 
doubt, when he had loaded him with this charge ; when he had 
fent him out like Cain, with a mark upon him, hoping, I 
fuppofc, that " whofoever met him, would kill him^' 

Wh. 



ao8 A VINDICATION OF 

\Vn. I do declare ir, you farprize me ; if we have no better 
fucccfs with the reft of our Articles, I think verily Billet (hall 
be enjoined " not to impeach any one again for the fpace of three 
<; whole years." What is this about the Bilhop of Sarum ■ did 
the Doctor " almfehim for putting his Mother into an Hofpital ?" 

To. You mult know, this is intended as a taunt upon the 
Doiftor; this is an unchrifiian reflection upon the misfortunes of 
his Family; his Father died, and left a Widow and many Chil- 
dren ; and the prefent Bilhop of Sarum, being one of the Truftces, 
gave his hand for the admillion of the Widow into a College 
erected for that ufe, and handfomely endowed by a late Bilhop of 
that Diocefe k . This he calls " putting her into an Hofpital." 
The Founder was refolved to Uy a guard againft that name, and 
therefore wrote this inlcription over the gate ': 
D. O. M. 
COLLEGIVM HOC MATRONARVM 
HVMILL1ME &EDICAVIT 
SETHVS EPISCOPVS SARVM 
ANNO DOMINI MDCLXXXII. 

k Dr. Seth Ward ; of whom, fee vol. III. p. 38. This very able man, 
whofe character was exemplary as a prelate, published feveral books of 
divinity ; but the greatelt part of his works are on mathematical fubjeifts. 
He was a dole reafoner and an admirable fpeaker, having, in the houfu 
of lords, been efteemed equal at leaft to the earl of Shaftelbury. He was 
polite, holpitable, and generous; and, in his lifetime, founded theabove- 
mentkned college at Saliibury, for the reception and fupport of ten poor 
clergymens widows ; and the fumptuous hofpital for ten poor men at 
Buntingford, the place of his nativity. The vacancies in the College of 
Matrons are alternately rilled up by the Bilhop of Saliibury and by the 
Dean and Chapter ; thofe in the Hofpital at Buntingford by the heirs for 
ever of his friend Ralph Freeman, efq. of Afpendon in Hertfordlhire. 
His intimate friend Dr. Walter Pope, the noted author of '* The Old 
" Man's Willi," has given us a juft and curious account of his life, in- 
terfperfed with agreeable anecdotes of his friends. Birtiop Burnet tells us, 
" Ward was a very dextrous man, if not too dextrous ; for his lincerity 
" was much questioned." 

1 See Dr. Pope's Life of Bp. Ward (p. 79) ; who is therein faid to 
have refented fuch reflections upon his College with the utmoir. indigna- 
tion. King. — " I have often heard him exprefs his dillike, if any one 
" called it an Hofpital ; for, faid lie, many of thefe are well defcended, 
" and have lived in good reputation : I would not have it faid of them, 
« that they were reduced to an Hofpital, but retired to a College, which 
** has a more honourable found." Ami 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 209 

And it is a very handfome reception for the widows of Clergy- 
men, and I would to God there were more of them : and I 
wifh to God alfo that this Billet's Widow may have no occafion 
to come into them. There is nothing in nature fo inhuman, as 
to throw the unhappinefs of a man's houfe into his teeth ; and to 
make that his reproach, which is his misfortune only. It is true, 
ihe was obliged to the Bilhop of Sarum for his hand in this af- 
fair; and Dr. Sacheverell has had reafon, in fome controverfies, 
to fpeak of the Brlhop of Sarum, and to confute him, in fuch a 
manner as I think every good man would have done in the heac 
of deputation, and in his zeal for the ancient eitahlilhed doctrines 
of the Church of England, which, I mult, needs fay, I think that 
Prelate has been as free with, as his kindred in the North with 
the Epifcopal Minifters of the Church of Scotland m ,- that 
is, he has almoft routed them, and brought them into contempt 
and difufe n . And 1 muft needs fay, if my Father that begat me, 
or my Mother that brought me into the world (which, by the 
bye, is a greater favour than bringing me into a College), fhould 
difown or dilpute, depreciate or leffen, forfake or give up, a 
ftanding doctrine of Chriftianity ; I mould forget my obligations 
fo far, as to warn my Fellow-chriflians againft it; to tell them 
the danger of adhering to them, and the fad confequences of 
apoflacy and defection from the Church, and of fchifm and difor- 
der in it. The Doctor has only done this, and in a manner cor- 
responding to the fubjedt of the difpute, and the perfon on the 
adverfe fide. 

Suppofe a man obliges me in the perfon of my Mother; and 
11 fparcs not to cry aloud," that every man is " a King and a 
'* Pried;" that every one may baptize, and call his Sovereign to 
account; that Epifcopacy is the tool and creature of Monarch v, 
holy orders an unneceiiary diitinction, and no more " a divine 
M inltitution °" than the habits of thofe that are admitted into 
them ; am I not in this cafe to forget my Benefactor, and remem- 
ber my God ? am I not to forego the carnal, and hokl faft to the 
fpiritual Mother, the Church of Chrilt ? I am furely obliged to 

m Bp. Burnet was a native of Edinburgh. 

n Thefe reproaches deferve a fevere cenfure from the Convoca- 
tion. Bisset. 

See Two Sermons at Salisbury. King. — They were preached 
Nov. 5, and Nov. 7, J710 j and printed together in 8vo. 

Vo I. II, Y l":;p 



2io A VINDICATION OF 

ftep over a favour clone to a particular member of the Clnu ch ; 
when I am defending the Church in general from afiauks ami 
violence, from injury and affront. 

And this is the cafe of Dr. Sacheverell. He has taken upon 
him, as almoll all Chriftendot.i has done, and it may he fervente 
calatno, with fome afperity of exprefiion, to contradict his Lord- 
ihip, to play Antiquity againtt Novelty, and to go farther than 
Holland or Geneva for the ancient Rated doctrines of the Chriftian 
Church, and the old eflabliflied difcipline of it. 

1 have heard the Doctor fpeak very gratefully of that Bifhop, 
as indeed he does of all to whom he is obliged. But, I muft 
own, when we urge the injury he has done the Church, and con- 
tinues hill to do, the puhlick has fo much the fuperiority of in- 
rereit in every generous breafl, that it is not polhble to keep our- 
felves within thofc limits which I know you men of temper and 
moderation would prescribe to us. Suppofc there were but four 
men in England that were mafters of Polemicks, that underftood 
all the controverfies in the Church; do you think it reafonable for 
thefe men to be filent, if the Bifliop of Sarum fliould preach 
i'alfe doctrine, becaufe he gave a Pig to one, a Vote in fome 
Eleclion to another, a piece of Scotch Cloth to a. third, and a 
Collar of Brawn to the fourth 5 Do not you think a Letter of 
this naturs from that Bifliop to thefe Polemical Divines would 
have great influence upon them, dry up all their ink, and fpoil 
their pens : 

♦* Gentlemen, I am going to cflablifli anew fort of Chriftianity, 
** I would refine a little upon the Author of it, and fhew where 
" the Apoftles were wrong ; and lay a much better fcheme of 
u Church-government than they have clone. 1 will new vamp 
*' vour Articles,, and make the world wonderfully eafy in matters 
** of faith and conference. Be pleafed to let me have no inter- 
** ruption from you ; but remember the Pig, and the Vote, the 
** Cloth, and the Brawn. And do not fly in the face of your 
44 BcnefactoF, whe, you know, beiides all this, is a Bifliop, and 
u consequently has a right to do what he pleafes with the 
,( Chnrch ; and he is an impudent Preibyter that pretends to 
" know more than I. Gilbert Sarum." 

Now do not you think it very reafonable that Religion fliould 
be gi\en up; that thefe men ihould be filent, and fuffer him to 
Eftake what havock he pleales.j becaufe he oace did them % com- 
mon, 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. »iz 

mon favour, and the world perhaps thinks they [are obliged to 
him ? Hey ! what are you dumb, old Noll ? Anfwer me. 

Wh. Why, faith, I do not know what to fay to you ; " the 
** caufe was well enough," as the Judge faid, " before you puzzled 
" it." I wifh I was well out of the houfe'. I believe thou wilt 
make me turn Tory : I fhall run in my zeal and hreak Billet's 
windows in defiance of " the contents of his Mufquetoons.'' 

Come, T yield the Firft Article : let us proceed to the Second. 
Here are eight Pages though between them : what are they 
for ? what docs he fay in them ? But pray be fhort, I want aa 
end of it j I am afraid you will make us appear no better than 
we fhould be. 

To. Why they are filled with heavy complaints againft the 
Tories in general ; that his perfon, his goods, and chattels, are in 
ilanger daily; that we will not fuffer the DiiTenters to grow 
rich ; and that, particularly in Wales, " there is a formal per- 
" fecution begun, not only by a League to have no commerce 
" with therri, which is a fort of outlawry, but alfo by exacting 
" of fines, by what colour of law he knows not." 

Wh. Do not you think that a very grievous oppreffion ? 
Will you (hut them out from all trade with you, and fo ftarvc 
them ? 

To. I will tell you the truth of this complain'-. Some gentle- 
men in Wales (for which I fhall ever commend their wifdom) 
have agreed among themfelves, under fuch and fuch penalties, 
never to trade with them, either for little or much. The penalty 
fometimes has been incurred ; and the law of the Society fatisfied, 
by the payment of the fine. Now this, which they do to one an- 
other by agreement, he calls " a formal perfecution of theDiflcn- 
" ters, and an illegal exaction of fines from them." 

Wh. What ? This then is only a covenant among fome par- 
ticular gentlemen, and the fines upon breach of it are paid to one 
another. This furc muft be fome ftrange mifinformation, or Mr, 
BilTet is induftrioufly in the wrong. I muft own to you, we are 
too apt to improve upon any ftory againft the High-flyers, and we 
do not much infift upon teftimony and confirmation; if it is but 
black enough, we defire no more: and truly it is the thing I 
molt diflikc in our party ; I have complained of it, but I could 
never fee any amendment. I hope, though, you do not pretend 
Jo juftify the re-folution of thefe gentlemen, " not to trade with 
P * « the 



nz A VINDICATION OF 

" the DifTcntcrs i" you had as good fhut them out of human 
focicty. 

To. I do not care if they were fo fhut out. I am clearly of 
the opinion of thofe gentlemen 5 I am for withdrawing myfelf 
from all fort of commerce with them : they hate you upon prin- 
ciple $ and think, they do God good fervice, if they can cheat 
you j in a word, fas eft et ab hojie doctri, I will learn to fight of 
my enemy. Nothing has done the DilTenters more fervice, than 
dealing only with one another, where it can poffibly be done. I 
know one that obferves this practice fo religioufly, that he will 
not touch either food or raiment, that was not bought in the fhop 
of a Fanatick. They will fend for the lead trifle to the other 
end of a long flreet to one of their own crew, when the very 
next neighbour, a Churchman, has it to fell : nay, I have known , 
one of them almoft fpue at the fight of an ungodly Mince-pvc, 
and immediately devour it like a Cormorant, when the good wo- 
man told him, " Honeft Mr. Such-an-one, who comes often to our 
" Meeting, was the maker." If a Tory had had a Finger in the 
Pye, it would have been fuperflitious, and forbidden meat ; and fo 
powerful is the touch of a Saint in this refpect, that fuperftition 
and interdiction are taken off by it ; and what that has fanctihed, 
muft not be refufed, or efteemed unhallowed. Alk them why 
they are thus narrow-fouled ? why they confine their dealings 
and their charity to one another ? They will tell you, that they 
only " love as brethren;" they muft help one another; St. 
Paul fays, " they are worfe than Infidels, that do not take care of 
*' their own ;" and much cant to this purpofe : but if the Church- 
man imitate them in this particular, it is " perfecution, inhuman, 
«' unchriftian," a perfect outlawry, and a deal of fuch fluff. If 
people were of my mind, old Null, they fhould have more reaioa 
to complain than they have : we are fo good-natured, or flupidly 
inadvertent, as to trade with them, and luffer them to grow rich 
by us, when our honeft friends of the Church are poor, want 
feulinefs, and ftand in their (hops as unemployed as an hoife in a 
pound. It is a fhame to fee them raife eftates, who could or 
would as foon raife the Church if we did not trade among them. 
When they are got into monev, and their flock runs high, like 
the Bank, they will grow infolent, and exereife dominion over 
you. " Keep them poor, and they will be quiet," I remember, 
vvas a Revolution principle, and the only one, I think, that the 
Church would reap any benefit by obferving. ^ H 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 213 

Wh. Thou art a glorious fellow ! You think you may Fay 
what you will, the world is all your own j I am fure, none of us 
prefume to talk, fo boldly. 

To. No ? I can give you the lie out of this, p. g : he charges 
the Church (and you know who is the Head of it, and that the 
prefent Minifters of State are true, and not occafional, Members 
of it) with Tyranny and Arbitrary Power; that every man's li- 
berty and property is infulted, that no one is fure even of the 
teeth in his head ; that High-church Tyranny, that is, the prefent 
Adminiftration, is worfe than Nero's or Dioclefian's. This, I 
think, is a note beyond Ela. I am fure, if a man laft winter had 
dared to fay this, with the alteration of Low for High, the Com- 
mons of Great Britain would have employed Jacob Tonfon's 
prelles a fecond time P. The fellow is confeious to himfelf, that 
no man efteems him, that he may fay or do what he pleafes ; for 
any Jury upon earth will bring him in Non compos. But go on 
to the other page, and there he illuftrates his propofition, " High- 
" church Tyranny is worfe than Nero's*! or Dioclefian's;" for 
he is often affronted as he goes along the ftreets ; a great many 
people fneer and laugh at him ; even ftrangers, poor man ! fhew 
him no refpeft ; and, which is worfe than all, even Beaux and 
Ladies mob him. Now, you know, Nero and Dioclefian never 
did any thing like this to their poor fubjecls : they only now and 
then burnt a city and half the inhabitants for their diverfion ; 
murdered by variety of torments a thoufand or fo for a break - 
fafl ; fent out for their fubjecls heads, as freely as we do for 
apples ; and devoured as many Virgins as St. George's Dragon. 
But, alas ! this is nothing : thefe people were happy in comparilon 
to poor Billet ; High-church tyrants fhew him no refpett ; he is 
never invited to dinner by them ; he has not drunk a glafs of good 
Ale at their coit, nor had " a Shilling from them, thefe eleven 
years," Pref. p. 2. Indeed, poor man, I do own, Nero would 
have been kinder to him : he would have put him out of his pain, 
and have flopped all his lamentation : it may be he would have 
given him a tune at parting ; he has been known to play to peo- 

P Mr. Tonfon was authorized to publifh the Trial of Sacheverell. 
1 If he had been on Col. Sidney's jury, he would not have gone from 
[ the bar ; but, upon the firft fight of Nero in his clofet-papers, have pro- 
nounced him guilty. Bisiit. 

P 3 pie 



si4 A VINDICATION OF 

•pic at an execution ; but, I believe, that being a time of devotion, 
Billet would have entered his proteft againft Mufick. 

But above all it is moll deplorable, that the Ladies fhould af- 
front and mob him ; he exprelTes a vaft concern for the irrepara- 
ble lofs of their favour ; he will never forgive the Doftor for 
engrotTing, as it were, all the Ladies ; a (ex, I am told, Billet 
lived by a great while ; and the little practice he has with them 
now, I am well allured, is not the " Practice of Piety." 1 mull: 
own, I do not wonder to hear a Fanatick lament the lofs of his 
intereft among the Women ,- they are as ufeful to a Conventicle 
as a Whig Miniftry, and, without taking a leafe of it, are forced 
to fupport, maintain, uphold, and keep it ; ihut the women out 
of the Meetings, and " there will foon be much grafs in the 
" place." The feditious Canter will read Wall Leclures by 
himfelf, be no more regarded than the Mountebank upon Tower- 
Hill, the Rat-catcher by Bow Church, or lord Wyngham r at an 
Impeachment. 

From himfelf, he proceeds, p. 7, to enumerate divers grievance* 
of other folks, and particularly laments the untimely death of a Wo- 
man in Fleet-ftreet, who loft her life, being in child-bed, " by the 
** ftones which the High-church tyrants threw in at her window." 

Wh. I hope you will allow that to be a little like Nero and 
Dioclefian : I did hear indeed of that young gentlewoman who 
was thus barbaroufly murdered by the mob when the Members 
for the City were declared. 

To. But fuppole now I can prove to you that this Woman 
died as fairly of a Dropfy as any one in the Bills of Mortality ; 
that fhe was feventy years old ; that fhe had had three Huibands, 
and never was with child in her life; that the ftones which the 
mob threw only did the errand they were fent upon ; juft re- 
proved the family for not illuminating their windows upon that 

* The late lord high chancellor. Bisset. — William Cowper, efq. 
fucceeded Sir .Vath an Wright, as lord keeper of the great feal, Oct. ir, 
1705 ; was created baron Cowper of Wyngham, Nov. 9 ; and appointed 
Jord chancellor May 4, 1 707; which poft he held till Sept. 14, 1710. On 
the accefliun of king George I, he was again appointed lord chancellor; 
»nJ, on refigning the great feals, was created vifcount Fordwich. and 
e.ul Cowper, March iS, 1717-18. It fhould be obferved, that he nobly re- 
fufed to accept new years gifts from the counfellors at law, which had 
long been given to his predeceflbrs ; and, what is rtill more to his ho- 
nour, he fbrefaw and oppofed the deflruchve meafures of the South Sea 
bubble in 1720. He died Oct. 10, 1723. night 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 215 

night of joy and triumph ; they hardly went into the room ; th: 
Woman in bed was dying, and no more heard ov felt them at that 
time, than fhe does me now. 

Wh, If you can prove this, then wc are a parcel of fons of 
Belial ; we are Liars, and Rogues, and whatever you will pleaie 
to call us. Why I tell you, the Woman being a Difientcr, flie 
had a Funeral Sermon in many Meetings, is looked upon as a 
Martyr for the Conventicle, and is called Stephen's Sifter, becaufe 
(he wasjlonedto death. 

To. What I fay is literally true : I received this account from 
a gentleman in that neighbourhood ; 1 have it here in this Letter 
under his own hand ; and I have commiihon to fay that he now 
lives, and the old woman died, between the Horn and the Leg- 
Tavern in Fleet-ftreet ; that Billet's whole account is a fcandalous 
lie ; and her furvivors in the houfe, though DilYenters, are ready 
to attelt the truth of this account. Now, Noll, what think you 
of this piece of High-church murder ? 

Wh. I think the villain deferves the death he fpeaks of, to be 
ftoned into the other world ; for it is not fit the fellow mould 
live. Indeed he often complains " that he is in danger, that the 
" ftreets and roads are not fafe;" and truly I do not blame him. 
I fuppofe he is confeious of his own iniquity, that he has juftlv 
incurred the difpleafure of his fellow-fubjec~ts, and that it would 
be meritorious in any of them to chaftife him. If a Whig muft 
be fuch a falfc knave as this, God blefs the High-church ! fay I. 

To. Here is another full and true account, p. 8, of horrid and 
barbarous murders, alTaults, aflaffinations, and other High-church 
outrages. " Tutchin 6 is in his grave, Mr. Samuel Johnfon l was 
H near it, and king William narrowly elcaped." 

It is true, indeed, he does own the Sectaries did murder king 
Charles I. But that is nothing to the murder of St. Tutchin j 
for the King " had warning, and time to prepare for his change ; 
" but the other was hurried out of the world, perhaps with many 
<« mangling wounds." The fellow indeed had an honeft dry 

5 See above, p. 183. 

« The celebrated chaplain of lord RufTel. His inflexible patriotifm 
involved him in frt-quent dangers; particularly, in 1692, his life was at- 
tempted by feven afl'afiins, who beat him in his bed, and one of them cut 
his head with a fword. He lived till May, 1703. All his treatifes were 
collected id 1710, in one folio volume, with fomc memorials of his life. 

P 4 drubbing 



ai6 A VINDICATION OF 

drubbing, juft as much as he deferved, and no more; but he 
was furioufly poxed u , as the Surgeon who diflecled him will 
witnefs ; or clfe he would have lived, thrived well, and mended, 
like a Walnut-tree, after a beating. But it is a lamentable thing 
that the Sectaries mould give king Charles the Fiift fo much 
warning, and we give poor Tutchin no more ; for he did not 
live above fix weeks afrer his bafling. Tutchin was fent out of 
the world by the Tories, with his head broken ; the Sectaries only 
cut off the King's head, and fent him into the other world with- 
out rt w . Bcfides, the Seftaries gave the King " a fair trial, as 
" they had power, the people being lords." But Tutchin had 
" no trial," and he, being one of the people, was better than a 
King, for he helped to u make Kings :" yet he was murdered at 
once, without any fhew of juftice or trial ; which plainly (hews, 
that the Seftaries are civiler to Kings than Tories. You laugh 
now, old Whig : but, I proteft, this is the drift of all he fays, and 
is really the lenfe and opinion of your party. 

If you cut off a King's head, it is jufiice ; if ive do but kick a 
fellow, it is murder : if you flice off a Drawer's nofe at Greenr 
lyich x , it is but " a fcratch," p- 9 ; if we do it, it is difmem- 
bering, and death by the Statute. There is a deal of difference 
betwee.r you Saints and us ; the nature of good and evil alters 
wonderfully upon your account now and then. I cannot imagine 
how you came by the privilege. I believe we are got into 
times now, in which your new charter will be fuperfeded : we 
Ihall ierve you as we have done Bewdley, reduce you to your old 
conftitution, and fet you upon a level with the reft of your 
lpecies ; and therefore I advifc you to live as righteoufly as you 
an : for, if you rob upon the highway, commit murder or 
- faciilcge, kill a Ciihop or a Parfon, depend upon it, you will be 
hanged ; which is more than I could have promifed you a little 
while Ago. 

» I have been aiTured from good hands this is wholly a (lander. Why 
docs not the Surgeon atteft it ? Bisset. 

* This comes very near the Iriihman's bull, that St. Patrick fwam 
to Holyhead with his head in his teeth. Was not king Charles's head 
buried in the fame coffin with his body ? Bisset. 

« Why are not the 3&ors in this tragedy profecuted upon the Coventry 
ait? Bisjet. 

From 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. u 7 

From railing at the Churchmen, he is come to extol and mag- 
nify the Diffentcrs. " They and their Minifters," he fays," have 
" contributed largely to the Church of England Lecturers, 
" though moft bitter againft them," p. u. This is a lie; they 
contribute to none of thofe that are real Churchmen, who dare 
tell them the truth ; who have courage to defend the Church of 
England ; to explain the nature of lchifm, and prove it to be a 
damnable fin. I own indeed they do advance the collections of 
their Friends, who preach up Comprehenfion, Moderation, Tem- 
per, Occafional Conformity, Refinance, Self-defence, and all the 
deteftable doctrines of Forty-one ; Hoadly and Bakery, Brad- 
ford 2 and Whaley a , Harris h and Turner c , thefe indeed partake 
of their liberality as well as their fins ; they receive their " thirty 
'< pieces of iilver," but upon Judas's terms, « to betray their 
" Saviour," to banter the Creed, burkfque Chriftianity, di- 
vide the Church, and "crucify the Son. of God afrefh." I 
ihould be glad to find that they contribute to Smallridge d , Mofs e , 

y Dr. William Baker, warden of Wadham College, Oxford ; raifed to the 
fee of Bangor in Align IV, 1723, and translated to Norwich in December, 
1727. He died in 1732. 

z Dr. Samuel Bradford, prebendary of Weflminfter ; matter of Corpus 
Chrifti College, Cambridge. He was made bifhop of Cariifle in April, 
1718 ; and tranflated to Rochefter in July, 1723. He died in 1731. 

a Nathanael Whaley, A. M. rector of Brington, Northampton/hire, 

b John Harris, D. D. reclor of St. Mildred, Breadftreet. 

c John Turner, D. D. vicar of Greenwich in Kent, and afterward 
chaplain to king George II, when prince of Wales. 

«• Dr. George Smallridge, born at Lichfkld about 1666, was in 1681 
elefted from Weflminfter to Chrift Church, Oxford; in 1693, made 
prebendary of Lichfield; and foon after canon of Chrift Church, 
and dean of Carlifle ; in 1713, dean of Chrift Church, and the year 
following bifhop of Briftol. Upon the accefllon of king George I, he 
•was appointed lord almoner; but was removed from that poft in 1715. 
He died Sept. 20, 1719. Sixty of his fermons were printed in 1726; 
which fhew him to have been a polite writer. He had publiftied fome 
works of merit in his lifetime; particularly " Animadverlions 'on a 
"piece upon Church Government," fo early as 1687; and a Latin 
pcem, intituled," Audio Davifiana, Oxonii habitaper Gul. Cooper &■ 
" Edw. Millington, Bibliopolas Londinenfes," 1689. 

« Robert Mofs, D. D. dean of Ely. 

Adam?, 



£i* A V INDICATION OF 

A daws f , Snape E, Hafllewood h , Savage ', C — lc, Sutton k , 
Uaiufoy l , the two S — ds m , &c. I would be glad to know how 
many of thefc partake of their bounty, who think themfelves 
bound in confeience to expofe the Schilm, to lay open the in- 
trigues of Moderation, and the flagitious fin of Occasional Com- 
nninion. Now I am upon this Subject, I mult take uotice of the 
ir.iolence of the Difibntors in every Election of a Lecturer; they, 
who have nothing to do with it, and contribute nothing, are 
molt zealous, molt tioublefome, molt noify, and give great dif- 
curbance to thofe who are more particularly concerned in that 
affair. Their being inhabitants is no plea, unlefs they will con- 
tinue to contribute j I lav, continue, for many of them often fub- 
fciibe only to give a glols to their vote, and are never known to 
pay unlefs their own fanatic lukewarn Son of Moderation chance 
Mi be elected. 

I have often wondered that the good Citizens mould give the 
enemy this licenie ; they would take it heinoufly, if any of us 
mould appear in their Meetings, and offer to vote in the election 
o{ any of their Tailors. I think the rcafon is equal on both fide?, 
and mould be pvactilcd accordingly. 

Bat they know the advantage of intermeddling in our Parochial 
Elections ; they have found fools enough in many Parilhes to 
fide with them, to hold up their hands for men of their recom- 
mendation; and give them fuccefs. This, they hope, will poifon 
their neighbours, fpread the contagion, and at lalt fix the plague 
of Herefy and Schilm among them. By thefe means, and upon 
this view, did thole Heteroclites Eoadly and Baker gain their 

i Joh-n AJamf, D D. rector firft of St. Alban, Woodflreet, then of 
St. Bartholomew, chaplain in ordinary, and provoft. of King's College,, 
Cambridge. 

£ Andrew Snape, D.D. another provoft of King's College. He was the 
firft who cnter-a the lilts againfl Bp. Hoadly in the celebrated Bangorian 
controverfy, and in the courfe of it publiilud four pamphlets. Throe 
volumes of his Sermons were punted in 174.1;, 8vo. 

i> John HafL-uood, U. D. rector of St. Olave, Southwark. 

* William Savage, D. D. matter of Emanuel College, Cambridge-, and 
rector of St. Andrew Wardrobe and St. Anne Blackfryars. 

k Gibbon Sutton, A. M. fellow of Trinity College, Cambridge, and 
lecturer of St. Benedict, Gracechurch-ftreet. 

' John Ramfey, rector of Langdon, Kent. 

m Q^ Two Scatter goodt, or two Smalkutodi t 

Elections, 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 219 

Elections, and write thcmfelves Lecturers. Pardon me, old Noll, 
for this digrefhon : I thought I had a fair opportunity, and I 
could not polhbly deny myfelf the pleafure of it. I will make 
you amends, and come to the Second Article againft die Doctor. 

In this Second Article, he is extremely incenfed at the Doctor 
and his party, for declaring therafelves high : and not onlv io, 
but " very high ; high for Rituals, high for very high ftccples, 
" high for Altars," and " high for low bows, and would not 
" condefcend to men of low eftate," p. 13 ; that is, would not give 
up their privileges, part with their rights, and in a manner facri- 
fice the Church, to their caprice. I remember the lord Wyng- 
ham n , in the Houfe of Peers, when a debate arofe, " Whether 
" that Court was obliged to conform to the laws, the rules, and 
" ufages of the Courts below," urged the highnefs of that Court 
as an argument to prove that they were not to condefcend to 
Courts below it. " If we are above them," fays he, '« let us 
" keep fo ; if their rules and ufages are a ftandard to us, we are 
*j upon a level with them, and have no claim to the fupcrioritv.'* 
Now that noble Peer is known to " condefcend to men of low 
" eftate as much as any body," where he can " with fafetv to 
" his highnefs or fuperioritv." I know him as humble and con- 
descending upon fome occafions as pofhble. But if an Hedger, 
or any Labourer, fliould come to him, and fay, " My Lord, fix 
" Horfes in your Coach arc not neceffary ; pray give me two, 
" and my neighbour two more" — Another come, and fav, " My 
" Lord, that Turret upon vour Houfe is fuperfluous ; it keeps 
" out neither wind nor weather : pray let me have the Lead, to 
" make Bullets and Standifhes ; and the Timber, to make Fire 
u to warm my poor family" — A third, upon a Waihing-day, take 
notice " that the beft Laurel-hedge in his Garden is covered 
" with my Lady's Shifts °, and petition my Lord that he would 
" not fuffer fo much Holland in his houfe ; that lefs would ferve 
M her Ladyfhip, and your poor neighbours of low ejlate will 
" not lie fatisfied without it."— Would not my Lord, notwith- 
ftanding his aptitude to gratify men beneath him, immediately 
reply, " You are to leave me to judge what is decent, proper, 
' ; and becoming my ftation ; you are not to reflect upon my 
" Equipage, my Turret, or my Wife's Shifts. I am the bell 

» See above, p. 114. 

■> Tiiis is a lign what his thoughts were upon. Bisszt. 

" J u ^gc 



■If A VINDICATION OF 

" judge what is handfome, neccffary, or convenient ; and you arc 
*♦ a parcel of impudent fcoundrels to call it in queftion. Either 
u . bring your fentiments to mine, and be quiet with me, or elfc 
" go farther off; for I will never condefcend to let you rifle me, 
" to ride away with my Horfcs, melt down my Turret, and make 
u Baby-clouts of my Wife's Shifts." 

This is truly the cafe between the High-church and Diffenters. 
They would, if they could, perfuade us to refign all to them 
that they pleafe to demand, make every conceffion they propofe, 
prefent them with the Holland Surplices, lift them up to the 
Lead of the Steeples, and furnifh them with Horfes to carry away 
the Altar Plate, give them the poffeffion of our fuperfluous Abbey 
Lands, abolifh all ceremonies, relax all difcipline, and make our- 
felves fools and beggars; then they will extol our moderation, 
Tome heartily in to us, and give us the praife of *' condefcending 
V to men of low eitatc." 

Ww. Indeed, Neighbour, you banter too much. Mr. BiiTet 
is in the right : you have many things too nearly related to 
Popery ; it gives offence, and mould be remedied. Here is Dr. 
Sachcverell " talks of retaining blrffed Advocates in Heaven, to 
" plead in their defence, which is Popery undifguifed," p. 13. 

To. It is vour ignorance, and his ftupidity undifguifed. Bur, 
becaufe I know the Doctor has been charged with Popery, upon 
rhe account of this exprcfiion, by lbme who by their Cloth I am 
iurc ought to underftand Religion better, you muft give me have 
to be a little ferious with you, and fet this controverfy in a plain 
and true light. 

Though the mediatorial office ftric"tly fpeaking peculiarly does 
belong to the perfon of Chriil in Heaven, exhibiting his merito- 
rious fufferings in our behalf at the right-hand of God the Father, 
according to that maxim of the Apoltle, there is but " one Mc- 
*• iliaior between God and man, the man Chrift Jefut P :" yet the 
office of mterccllion, which in Scripture is afcribed to the Para- 
clete, which word is fometimts rendered Advocate, lometimes 
Cr.wjorter, is promifcuouily uled, and in common applied to both 
Clnifl and the Holy Ghoit, who are jointly "our bleffed Advo- 
" catcs in Heaven." The Holv Ghoft is by our Saviour fly led, by 
v. ft of eminence, as luccccding into his place, office, and title, 
|ierc V", earth, i sr^pxAvjlD', to •srjet^a to »yie»" and, by way of 

f 1 Tim. ii. 5, 

difti notion, 



THE REVEREND DR. S AC HEVEJRELL. 221 

tliftin&ion, a^<&- wajaxXijI©', " the Holy Ghofi: the Com- 
" forter," and "another Comforter;" or, as it is tranflared in 
both places in the margin 1, Advocate*. And what this office of 
Advocatefhip is, we learn from St. Paul, ,in his Epiftle to the 
Romans': " The Spirit Helpeth our infirmities : for we know 
" not what we Ihould prav for as we ought : but the Spirit itferf 
" rrwketh interceffion for us with groanings which cannot be ut- 
" tered. And he that fearcheth the hearts, knoweth what is the 
" mind of the Spirit, becaufe he maketh interceffion for the Saints, 
" according to the will of God ;" from which interceffion (efpeci- 
ally, I conceive, fays that moft learned Bifhop of our Church 
Dr. Pearlon c , in his Exposition of the Creed, p 32S.) he hath 
the name of the Paraclete given hiin by Chrift, who faid, " I will 
"pray the Father, and he (hall give you another Paraclete*." 
This Advocatefhip is alfo in the very fame Term attributed to 
Chrift Jefus. " If any man fin," fays St. John, ^y-^u.y.\n^<>» 
tprjsf*" tufa tov -ET&1/f«, " we have an Advocate with the Fa- 

1 Our Church Bible, of a lite Oxford Edition, has no fuch word } nor 
any Bible / have. Bis set. 

r John xiv. 16. 26. 

5 Chap. viii. 26, 27. 

1 Dr. John Pear/on, who was fucceffively mailer of Jefus and Trinity 
•olleges in Cambridge, and alfo Margaret profeffor of divinity in that 
univerfity, was confecrated bi/hop of Chefter, Feb. 9, 1672. He enjoyed 
feveral other very confideralle preferments in that reign, which were a-; 
much above his ambition, as they were below his merit. He wag 
eminently read in ecclcfiafiical hiftory and antiquity, and was a moft 
exaft chronologift. He applied himfelf to every kind of learning that 
he thought efTential to his profeffion } and was in every kind a mafter. 
Hi« works are njt numerous, but they are all excellent ; and fome of 
the leaft of them (hew that he was one of the completeft divines of his 
age. The chief are, his " Expofition of the Creed," in Englifh ; and hit 
" Vindication of St. Ignatius'i Epifties," in Latin. The former, which 
has gone through twelve or thirteen editions, is one of the molt fini/hed 
pieces of theology in our language. It is itfelf a body tf divinity, but not 
a body ivitboMt a fpirit. The ftyle of it is juft ; the periods are, for the 
moft part, well turned j the method is very exact j and it is in general 
free from thofe errors which are too often found in theological fyftems. 
It has been tranflated into Latin by a foreign divine. Bp. Pearfon died 
in his 74th year, after having entirely loft his memory, July 16, 16S6. 
lee Granger. 
" John xiv. 10. 

2 " then 



*tz A VINDICATION OF 

*• rhcr, Jcfus Chrift the Righteous™," who (as the Author tc» 
the Hebrews) ever liveth to make intercejjion for us. Froni 
whence it is evident that the office of a Paraclete is in exprefs 
words equally attributed to both perfons of the ever-bleffed Tri- 
nity, God the Son and God the Holy Ghoft, interceding to God 
.the Father for us; and I defire to add this one obfervation to 
fcrcngthen the argument, that in both paiTages in thefe two 
Epiftles the verv fame word, \\\\j[ya.n\v t is made ufe of to denote 
the fame identical actions in both Perfons. 

Thefe now are the blcffed Advocates the Doctor advifes us " to 
* e retain, to plead our caufe in Heaven," which this ignorant 
Wretch millakcs for Popery; fo well qualified is he to cenfure 
falfe doctrine in others, or to preach true himfelf, that he i - 
whollv a fhanger to fo fundamental an article of ChrifVianity. 
Had there been no other Advocates in Heaven but the Romifh 
pretended ones of Saints and Angels, or had the Doctor men- 
tioned them, there had been fome ground or occafion for this 
uncharitable and unreafonable charge upon him of being " a 
" barefaced Papift." But, as it is impoflible to conceive this paf- 
fage to refer to any thing but thofe our real Advocates in Heaven ; 
fo I leave you to judge, whether this man's grofs ignorance and 
implacable malice do not loudly call for, and fland in need of, 
both their intercciYions, and the Doctor's forgivenefs. I mall 
conclude this matter, in the words of that judicious, and I had 
almoft faid infailible Prelate x (had not the - 1 arge of Popery lain 
before my eyes), whofc inimitable Trcatife I recommend to this 
ignorant creature to perufe ; and, l>cing written in Englifh y, it 
may ferve to expel that dark cloud of errors, that benights his 
poor, mad, intoxicated brain, 

na^«xX»)}©-, fays that worthy Writer, is five times ufed in 
Scripture, and that by St. John alone : tour times in his Gofptl, 
attributed to the Holy Ghoft ; once in his firft EpiiTle, fpoken of 
Chrift. 

When it relates to the IToly Ghofi, we translate it always Com- 
forter ; when to Chrift, we render ft Advocate i of which di- 

■w i Ep. John, it. i. 

* Few will think the Vindicator the better Proteftant for this. Bisset. 
J I ccUd, I tbrank Co.:, read r. Creek Author before he was borrr, or 
at leait before he could (peak. Bisset. 

viiriity 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 22$ 

verfity there can be no reafon, becaufc (Thrift, who is a rarachte, 
faid he would fend " another Paraclete," and therefore the no- 
tion muft be the fame in both. And, after an elaborate pioof of 
this matter, he concludes : 

" I conceive the notion of •sra^aj'.^vfl'^, common to the Son 
" and to the Holv Ghoft, to con fill: especially in the office of in- 
'•' terceffion, which by Sr. Paul is attributed to both 2 ." 

Now tliis is not Popery, but what true Proteflants have always 
believed. The Doftor does not bid his audience proilrate them- 
felves to Images and Pictures ; but, by a good life, a holy con- 
verfation, to recommend themfclves to " the bleffed Advocates 
" above.'' Now, a good life being the propereft recommenda- 
tion, you Whigs cannot bear the thoughts of retaining fuch 
Advocates. When anv thing in Religion is againft you, that 
you call Popery ; when it is in Government, you call it Tyrannv 
or Perfecution, and think it a fufficient juflitication of your 
averfion to it. 

Wh. No, no, you are mightily miftaken ; we lead as goad 
lives as the beft of you, and love Religion and Virtue as well as 
you. I proteft, J love the converfation of the Diffenters : they 
are full of Scripture Stories ; what they fay is fo edifying, and 
adapted to the meaneft capacity, always tending to exprefs aheir 
moderation in religious matters, and their abhorrence of all per- 
fecution : and befidcs, there is an air of piety in the very motion 
and habits of their Paftors ; their looks are fo ierene and upright, 
that Religion lcems to have taken an habitation in the coun- 
tenance of each of them. 

To. If you love a Dirienter for his Scripture ftories, you may 
as well love Dutch Tiles a , or Tapeftry Hangings. I do not 
think the Bible is always to be repeated over a Tea-table, and 
the comfortable accounts of' God's love to good men be given 
at Rack-gammon. I do not think our fins are to be fighed ouc 
jjt Cribbagc, and ejaculations thrown up at All-fours; and yet 
I have feen and heard all this done, and neverthelefs held my 
opinion, that they were all Hypocrites. It is anjierediiary ftiew, 

2 Expofition of the Creed, p. 320. 

a It had been well for Dr. Sacheverell if he had met with the fiory of 

E'i/ha, though in a tavern chimney. But, I fuppofe, the Doclor and his 

Champions hate a religious face, though on Tiles and Tapeftry. Bisset. 

4 or 



4»4 A VINDICATION OP 

or form of piety, and they themfelves arc no more afle&ed tlian 
I am by it ; their Fathers teach them to figh, and turn up the 
white of their eyes, as Beggars do their Children to cry, only 
to move your paflions, and deceive you. As to their Paftors, I 
hate a religious face. When Religion, as you fav, " has taken 
" an habitation in a man's countenance," it is generally Tenant 
for life there ; I feldom knew it remove lower, and take a place 
in his heart. I proteft, a formal religious face frights me : I 
clap my hands into my pockets like a Dutch Skipper, and have 
much ado to forbear hollowing out, " Thieves, Murder b , Mo- 
** deration," and all things that I tliink will hurt me. Excufe 
me, Neighbour ; if ever I take an uncommon liberty of fpeech, 
it is when thefe people are the fubjeft of difcourfe ; and yet 
you are always crowding it in upon me. I have always efteemed 
them, and have every day freih reafon to do it, utter and avowed 
Enemies to the Crown and to the Mitre. I know their prin- 
ciples are fo bad, and their practices fo nicely correfponding 
with them, that I cannot have a favourable thought of thofe men 
who do not vigorously oppofe them. 

Wh. Well, but why muft they be downright perfecutcd ? 
why muft their birth-right be taken from them ? why muft they 
be excluded all offices and places in the Government, which is 
one of your High-church fojlulata ? " Why muft you have all, 
" and they have none ?" This the Doctor affirms neceifary ; and 
it is another charge which Mr. Billet brings againft him, p. 14. 

To. If the Doctor has no more to anfwer for than this, he is 
the happieft man alive ; I think there is nothing more re.no:>- 
able, or more profitable, than a ftrift conformity to that opi- 
nion. No wife Government in Europe, but this, iuffers men 
to have a fhare in the Legiflature, whole principles are direftly 
contrary to, and whofe intereft they think it is to fubvert, the 
Government they live under. Why are they not content with 
their indulgence ? When they fued for that, their pleas all ran 
upon " tender, fcrupulous confeiences ;" that their only aim was, 
to live peaceably amongft us, in the enjoyment of " liberty of 
" confeience." We had no fooner warmed the cold Snake with 

b In the firji edition of this Tra£V, it appears that, bj a ftrange mif- 
take, it was printed " Thieves, Torus, Moderation." — Hence Bissit 
gravely afks, " Did ever the two hft (indeed, one is blotted out afwr it was 

f* printed) meet together before ?" 

that 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 225 

that Aft, but it exerted its fling, affected the afcendant, and 
wanted fuperiority and government. Of this truth we have 
daily inftances. Do they not pufh at us upon all occafions ? 
what offices, what places, though never {"0 mean and low, do 
they not contend for? Nothing is vacant, but your Faclion pro- 
pofe a candidate of their own complexion, and always appear in 
oppofition to the Church. Now what can the defign of this be, 
bur, as I hinted in another place, to ftcal by degrees into u the 
" ftrong man's houfe c ," that they may firft bind, and then deftroy 
him ? would not every wife man fhut Ins door againfv. fuch an 
enemy ? may he not build fuch mounds and fortreffes, as will 
prevent his making any inroads into his territories ? would you 
have us forget your darling principle, " felf-defence ?" Our Re- 
ligion indeed obliges us " to turn the other check to the man 
»' that ftrikes one of them :" but it no where forbids us to 
make fuch juflifiable provifions as will fecure us from his 
ftriking either. We are commanded to be ** as wife as Serpents, 
11 and as innocent as Doves ;" and from hence we derive a liberty 
to contrive the methods of our own prefervation : which if we 
fliould not do, we fhould not only be as innocent, but we mould 
be as filly as Doves ; and if any of the Serpent appeared in us, 
it would be that which our firft Parents learnt of him, " to be- 
" tray ourfelves and our Poftcrity." 

Wh. I proteft, you are too fevere : fuch men as you» are: 
enough to fire the nation. You mifrcprefent the Diffenters ex- 
ceedingly ; they have no ill defigns upon the prefent Eftablifh- 
ment either in Church or State : they would not willingly, I 
fuppofe, be oppreffed by either ; they readily fubmit, provided 
the terms of their fubjeclion be agreeable to the laws of God 
and the Realm. 

To. I deny that. They always difowned any fubjection; they 
affect an equality at leaft with the Church. This they gave us 
alTurance of, when, in the Metropolis of England, the City 
Sword was carried by a Fanatick to the Church in the morning, 
and to the Conventicle in the afternoon d . Believe me, this was 

c Here is a fpecial Son of the Church ! to make it not only a Den of 
Thieves, but the Devil's Caftle ! Bisset. 

J In 1698, SirHumphry Edwyn, then lord mayor, went to a conven- 
ticle, with the iii/gma of his office ; a circumftance which Swift has 
pleafantly bantered in his " Tale of a Tub." See his Works, vol.L 
p. 232. where the proccflion is reprefented in a humourous print. This 
Vol. II, <i_ tranfaftkn 



:*6 A VINDICATION Of 

a bold ftroke! it {hewed your will, and was a fair caution to 
the Churchmen to look about them. For thefe and other con- 
federations, it is very proper and realonable, that the Churchmen 
fhould have all the offices, and places of trull and power; and 
the Diffenters and all their mercenary abettors excluded, unlefs 
with fuch and fuch qualifications. 

Wh. Now that very thing Mr. Biflet and all of us call " Fo- 
il perv and Perfecution." 

To. I know it; but it is a lye. The Papifts, I know, per- 
fecute their adversaries, and handle them with great feverity; 
but this I heartily eppofe, and I hope in God I fhall never be lb 
wicked as to encourage it. But, my good Friend, I think 
there is a great deal of difference between throwing a man into 
a Fire, and out of an Office unlefs upon fuch and fuch terms; 
the former is murder direct, the latter juft and reafonable. And 
therefore I conclude, that Dr. Sacheverell is not guilty of the 
high crimes and mifdeineanors charged upon him in this Article 
by William Bidet, &c. 

Wh. Well, pray proceed. I would fain drop anchor ; I be- 
gin to defire an end of the conference. Here is fomething 
pretty notable upon your Doctor, two or three pages together ; 
here is " pride, vain-glory, envy, hatred, malice, and uncharita- 
" blencfs to his Mother," p. 15 — 19, charged upon him by 
wholefale. Pray begin ; and, " Good Lord, deliver him !" 

To. He does fo, it is true ; and that the Doctor is not guilty, 
is as true. The accufation is pretty extraordinary, and is indeed 
a notable inftancc, that Biffet " has no manner of grudge or 
" envy againft him, which he profeffes folemnly before God he 
" has not," p. 14. It puts me in mind of two fellows upon their 
neareft approaches to boxing. " Come, Sir," favs the perteft of 
them, " there is no malice :," and next moment beats his teeth 
down his throat. So fays Billet : " Look you, Dr. Sacheverell, 
" you are one of the vilefl Rafcals in nature, you are a malicious 
'* Incendiary, you deferve hanging, murder, and damnation ; 
" and I will take care, if poiTible, that fach a fcandalous High- 

tranfaftion probably occafioned the provifo in the Stat. 5 Geo. I. c. 4. 
which declares, That any Mayor, Bailiff, or other Magiftrate, being pre- 
feiit at any phec of Public Worfhip, other than the Church of England, 
in the peculiar habit of his office, or attended with the enfigns thereof, 
fliall, on conviction, be adjudged incapable to bear any public office or 
employment whatfoevei'. 

" fly'.hg 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 217 

<l ilvin^ dog fliall have his deferts. But I have no malice or ill- 
" will to you •" I love you dearly ; and, as I hope to be faved at tb* 
" day of judgement, I never did, or intended you, orany man, any 
" ill, or wrong, thefe lafi one and twenty years," Pref. p. ult. 

Billet is under great altonifhment, " that the Doctor fhould 
* be fo impudent and ambitious as to take upon him, though in 
<( a regular and academical way, the title of Doctor, and drive 
'* a number of young fellows more into that extravagance. It 
*' was a fhame, particularly, that he fliould do it, who was " the 
n fdn of a Pauper, and of a Mother in an Hofpital ;" to fpend a 
'* hundred pounds in that manner, did not at all become a perfon 
** in his circumftances ; none but Noblemen do it fo young ; ergo, 
** he is proud, ambitious, and full of vaiu-gtory." 

This follow Billet, you muft know, was expelled the Univer- 
fity before he had been in it three years e , for his impudence to 
his fuperiors; and therefore you are not to wonder if he doe* 
not underftand affairs of this nature. If a man has gone through 
the feveral ftudies, examinations, exercifes, and number of years, 
which the Univerfky requires as neceflary qualifications for the 
Doctorate ; and efpecially when they perform them with ap- 
plaufe, and to the general fatisfaction of the Univerfity, as Dr. 
Sacheverell did ; it is not ufual to feel his chin for a beard, or 
look into his mouth for the mark of his age, but into the Regifter 
for his Matriculation, and the performance of thofe things which 
by the Statutes are of neceffity antecedent to it. When this is 
done, the youngeft man need not bh'fb to take up the Scarlet ; 
for it is not efteemed pert or forward in thofe that do it, becaufo 
the Univcrfity values itfelf upon the number of Doctors. The 
Doctor's College efpecially does ; and the Founder has left en- 
couragement to prompt the Fellows of Magdalen to increafc the 
number annually. A long beard is no more effential to a Doctor 
in Oxford or Cambridge, than it was to a Philofopher in Athens 
or Rome of old ; and therefore Billet is a coxcomb and a block- 
head, for objecting this againft the Doctor, which is the con- 
ftant practice of his College, and when feme younger men than 
the Doctor were admitted to the fame Degree. As to the ex- 
travagant expence, " one hundred pounds { ," Biffct is as ig- 

e I never had the leart reprimond from any officer of my College, or 
the University ; and here is my te.limonial from the College in my fink 
year(i6gi): " Quum anti.jua lit, kc." Eissst. 
f I never beard it computed at \e(s. Biiset. 

Q„- ror-anl 



ait -A VINDICATION OF 

norant in tliis as in the other part of his charge. The Doctor 
had taken all his other Degrees regularly, performed his Ex- 
ercifes, and ftaid his time; which makes very great abatc- 
ments in the expence, and i educes it to lcfs than half that fum, 
cfpecially if any confidcrable number take the Degree together. 
" But why did he not give his Mother the money ?*' fay* 
Billet. Becaufc he always provided fo well for her, that fhe did 
not want it, fay I. The numher of the Doctor's Pupils, and 
the income of his Fellowfhip, and a fmall Living in the Town, 
enabled the Doctor to make very handfome prefents to his Mo- 
ther and other Relations^ and to take u the ambitious title of 
M Doctor," as he calls it. I believe no Son upon earth ever did 
give more fignal inftances of filial love and dear concern to a 
Mother and Relations, than Dr. Sacheverell has, and to my 
knowledge continues flill to do. He may fay, with good Zac» 
cheus, " The half of my goods I give away £." This he al- 
ways did when his eftate was much lei's than now it is ; and I 
am well affured that, upon this late enlargement of his income, 
he has dedicated JT io». per annum to the pious ufes we arc now 
fpeaking of h . The Doctor, in a due fenfe of the peculiar ac- 
ceptahlenefs of "charity in fecrct" before God, did not without 
the greateft reluctancy give me this account ; and with much 
more did he commiff on me to make it public. But I told him, 
it was one of the heavieft, charges upon him ; and he could not 
take off the impreflion it had made upon fome men's minds, to 
the great difadvantage of his reputation, any other way. Now 
this I fpeak to you here as a certain truth, and you may publifh. 
it from me upon the houie-top. 

Wh. I proteft, I am ftrangely iiaggered in my good opinion 
of this fellow Bidet. I begin to ule him with little ceremony. 
In the name of God, has the man no notion of a lye ? or hai 
he any receipt to take off the malignity and fin of it ? 

To. I tell you, he is a hack, a tool, a machine, that mult move 
as the Faclion bid him ; he muft fay as they fay, and do as they 
command : or do you think that a man who was at any liberty 
would accufe .Dr. Sacheverell publicly, as " ambitious, proud, 
" vain-glorious, and extravagant," when he himlelf lies lo open to 
the fame indictment ? The fellow's income at tl>e moll is not 

£ Lukexix. 8. 

h If he has dedicated jT ioo. to his Relations, h« ought to maintain hi* 
Mother entirely. Busjst. 

£izq. 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 22, 

£ 120. per annum '. He married ,1 woman, that I hear only in- 
crcafecl his Family k . He immediately fet up a Coach ', and in a 
moft fcandalous manner ran up a fhed againft that part of St. 
Katherinc's Church where the Altar is placed, and made it a 
Stable m ; it gave great offence to all good people, and occa- 
sioned much complaint : the fmell of his Horfes annoved the 
Communicants at the Holy Sacrament ; it was fo offenfive, that 
they feemed, like the Wife Men from the Eaft, " to meet their 
" Saviour in a manger;" and yet this good man refufed to re- 
move the nuifance, but fpoke very indifferently of the refpett 
due to places fet apart for religious worfhip, and dedicated to 
God ; and feemed to ridicule the people who were concerned at 
the great indecency of this thing. He learnt, no doubt, the prac- 
tice from his old Friends in Forty-one : they had taught him to 
turn Churches into Stables j to defile the Temples of God, and 
make his worfhipers " humble indeed," and " kneel down with 
" the Ox and the Horfe." And I muft add farther, that he was 
thus extravagant, while his Sifter was ftarving, and fubf:fted only 
by the charity of her acquaintance : he turned her out of doors 
into this wretched ftate, becaufe fhe prefumed to tell him, when 
fhe found him playing the wanton with his head in a Woman's 
bofom, " that it was indecent and fcandalous n ." To be fhorr, 

though, 

» My Reclory alone is confiderably more ; and fure my Srotherhood 
is worth fomelhing; I had fomething allowed me for preaching thrice a 
week ; and I had another co^fiderable income, no way depending on the 
Church. Bisset. 

k Implying that fhe did not increafe my income; which is a great 
falfehood. Bisset. 

1 It was above a year after I married, having then no child, nor ap- 
pearance of any, I kept it only as a leathern cmuemeaet, being over-per- 
fuaded, after much importunity and many refufals, to preach at a Chapel 
ob':ve two miles from me, thrice a week j and in my turns here, being to 
read prayers and preach (as I conftantly did) thrice a day; and let anyone 
judge if I was able to nvdk fo far and back again, after fueh bard work j 
and to have hired conftantly would have colt me more than keeping a 
Coach, for I had two Horfes to carry me and my Wife into the country 
before j which my Chariot would do more compleatly. Bisset. 

m There is a Turret with two thick walls between that and th« 
Church ; and there was before a Shed with a Copper in it for a \Va£h« 
houfe in the fame place. Bisset. 

* " For your chaftity and honefty, I did and do believe and fay that 
0^3 " I 01 * 



S3<> A VINDICATION OF 

though, the whhn of the Coach laded but a little while - ; tire 
Ilorfes were feizcil by the man that fold them P ; the Carpenter 
has his Stable again ; and poor Biffct walks on foot as impudent 
and as aukwardly as ever. 

Wh. Well, I do own, this is a good turn upon him j I won- 
der how he could lay himfelf fo open. I have two lilts in my 
pocket-book, one of Knaves, the other of Fools : I believe I mutt 
give my Mailer Billet a place in both cf them. 

To. We have now done with the Doctor's " priJe :" let us pro- 
ceed to his " envy, hatred, and malice." It feems, " He (hewed 
" a great deal of them all, in his fevere reflections upon Mr. 

" G , a competitor with him for the Chaplainibip of St. 

ft Mary Overies, and Dr. Tillotfon "3, and Dr. Stillingfleet, at the 
" Mitre Tavern inFenchurch-ftreet," p. 17. 

I myfelf was in company at that time. The Doctor did men- 
tion his feveral competitors, but not in that unbecoming manner, 
nor with words in the lead like ihefe. I have no remembrance 
of the expreflion, of" coming into timber;" it was agreed, that 
his competitors, many of them I am fure, did over-rate their iri- 

•' you were truly fo. As to your maid, you was to her a good mafter, 
*' and never pretended court/hip to her, and in my very foul believe never/ 
" touched her lips. Eliz. Bisset." Drawn up of my Sifter's own ac- 
cord, in her own form. Bisset. 

I kept the old Chariot above a year and a half, till it was almoft worn 
out ; and when hay was near five pounds a load (three times as dear as I 
gave at firft), I fold all together again. Bisset. 

P I had a Receip r from William Difher, the very day I bought them, 
for " 38/. 1 8 i. in full for a pair of Coach-horfes, Chariot, and Harnefs j" 
and I fold them again within five pounds of what I gave. Bisset. 

1 Dr. John Tillotfon, born in 1630, was educated in the principles of 
Puritanifm. His firft office in the church was the curacy cf Chefhunt 
in Hertford/hire, in 1661 ; whence he palled through feveral preferments 
tc the deanry of Canterbury in 1 672. He was appointed clerk of the clofet 
to the king in March 1689, dean of St. Paul's in December; and was 
confecrated archbiihop of Canterbury May 31, 1691. He published, 
IB 1693, Four Sermons 'I on the Divinity and Incarnation of cur Bleffed 
Saviour," to remove the imputation of Socinianifm, which had long been 
unjuftiy fixed upon him. He died Nov. 24, 1694. His Sermons have 
been printed in 3 folio volumes } and to the laft cJition of them, is pre- 
fixed a Life moft accurately compiled by Dr, Birch. 

6 terefh. 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 231 

tereft, and fpoke of it with a confidence that every body knew had 
no grounds. This might occaGon fome of the little farcafms r of 
converfation, which give a relilh to it, and make it agreeable ; 
and befides, I know, Dr. Sachevercll had not the molt ge- 
nerous treatment from his competitors and their friends; he had 
abundance of reafon to think himfelf ill ufed, and might, it may 
be, be provoked " to mix a little Bitter with his Wine :" but as 

for Mr. G , I have heard him give as handfome a character 

of him as poflible ; he fpeaks of him with abundance of cfreem, 
and thinks the Univerfity of Cambridge do him but common 
juftice in fetting fo great a value upon him as they do. 

I do remember alfo, that fome difcourfe arofe concerning the 
Writings of Dr. Tillotfon and Dr. Stillingfleet ; and I think the 
greateft part of the time we '{laid was fpent in fettling the dif- 
ferent chara£ters of thofe two great Divines ; which, by the bye, 
is one proof that the Tory Clergy do not meet in their Clubs to 
talk Politicks, rail at their Governors, and plot againft the 
Crown, as /our Faciion would infinuate. 

For converfation only, we refolved to divide ; fome would com- 
mend, others took the contrary fide. Now any one that has read 
the Writings of " thofe eminent men" will allow, that fome of 
them have *■ two handles;" that there is room for objections, 
enough at leaf! to furnifii out an innocent debate, and deceive the 
tedioufnefs of converfation ; their mod devout admirers mull 
own, that both of them have had their nods and titubations ; that 
Tillotfon himfelf has tript, and the great Stillingfleet has {lum- 
bered ; the one found it very difficult to fcreen himfelf from the 
fufpicion of Socinianifm and fome heterodox notions of Hell 
torments ; and the other could not atone for his " Irenicum * ," 

but 

r Jrenitf omira, " bitter jeers," on abfent and deceafed perfons, are the 
Pickles and Anchovies to give a reli/h to their Tavern Divinity Leftures ; 
for fometimes they preach over their Bottle. Bisset. 

s Published in 16 -9, under the title of " Irenicum, or a Weapon Salve 
" for the Churches Wounds." This work, though it {hewed great abili- 
ties and learning in a young man of 24, gave much offence to many of 
the church party; and indeed the Author himfelf made no fcruple after- 
ward of condemning it. He published his " Origines Sacrx" in 1662. 
— After being fucccflively rector of St. Andrew Holborn, lecturer at the 
Temple, canon relidentiary of St. Paul's, prebendary of Canterbury, and 

QL4 deaa 



sje A VINDICATION OF 

Luc by his indefatigable and inimitable Writings againft the 
Papifts. His " Origines Sacrse" is one of the foremoft of his 
performances ; but whoever affirms, that it is not over-burthened 
with quotations, and that all of them can be found in the places 
to which the Reader is directed; whoever believes that that/ 
Book lias not the failings naturally attending an unlverfal Scholar ; 
mu ft have a mighty intercft with learned men, to get a place in 
their good efteein, and fecure the reputation of his judgement 
among them. 

In this manner indeed Dr. Sacheverell and all of us did give 
ourlUves leave to talk of thofe great men. It is true, the Impli- 
cits amongft us were a little ftartled at thefe common objections, 
but were at lafl appeafed to our unanimous concluding refolution, 
that they were both the greate/I men of their age, in their different 
ways ; and that the Church of England could not pay any honour 
to their memories, which their great fcrvices and merits did not en- 
title them to. 

Wh. I think you give a fair and handfome account of this 
matter, and I am plealed to hear that the Clergy are fo well em- 
ployed when they meet together j for, I do allure you, I have 
heard you fcurvily reflected on by ibme of our Friends, and no- 
thing lels than plotting laid to your charge in thele meetings. 
Fray how did this Doctor behave himfelf in his College ? Here is 
a ftrange account, p. 18, of his difrefpectful carriage to the Prefi- 
dent of his College, his infolencc to the Fellows, and his turbu- 
lence in the Univerfity. 

To. The College lent a very handfome Teftimonial of his 
behaviour in Oxford, which was ready to be produced at his Trial, 
and did him fervice. This I fhall have occahon to produce to 
you, when I come to clear his notions of the Revolution. In the 
mean time, I can tell you, I had the honour to be at the Uni- 
verfity of Oxford in the Doctor's time j his behaviour there was 
admired by all ? ; and he thought himfelf happieil, who could moll 
nearly referable him. 

Wh After all, the Doctor cannot be the topping fellow you 
make him ; if he is, he is mightily mended fince tire Bilhop of 

dean of St. Paul's ; he was in 1689 made bilhop of Worcefter. He died, 
in his 64th year, March 27, 1699. His works were collected, in 6 vols, 
folio, in 1710. 

t Which 1 readily own, in or.e fenfe, to be true. BissKTi 

Lichfield 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL 235 

Lichfield and Coventry, now Worceftcr *, denied him Orders, for 
his ignorance and impudence. Mr. Billet tells us here, p. 21, 
that he pretended to underftand Latin hotter than his Bilhop j 
which put his Lotdfhip upon examining him in Divinity ; of 
which he found him to ignorant, that he lent him home, and 
" fet him a time of iludv to be better prepared." 

To. It is true, the Doctor was ordained by the Bifhop yon 
/peak of; and when he waited firft upon his Lordlhip with the 
nccellary Teftimonials for that purpofe, he was pleafed to make 
fome objections againft the Latin of a particular fentence or two. 
Dr. Sacheverell, with all imaginable fubmiflion, gave his Lord- 
fhip fome reafons, and fome grammatical authorities, for thinking 
die e.xprefhons proper. His Lordfhip, all the world knows, docs 
not pretend to any perfect freedom from, that impatience and 
fudden refentment which contradiction too often raifes in a man 
groivn old in Learning ; and thefe were a little heightened, when 
he found no tokens in the Doclor of fubmifuon to his judgement. 
The Doctor thought himfelf obliged to defend the then Dean w , 
who drew up the Teftimonial ; and with whom the Bifhop had 
had a difpute, which at that time had made them ftrangers. This 
mifunderftanding, the Doctor did believe, was the chief occaiion 
of his Lordfhip's objection, and that therefore he could not in 
honour, and gratitude to his patron the Dean, join with him in 
condemning what lie had drawn up for liis fervice : upon which 
the Doctor was difmiffed for that time ; but there was no exa- 
mination, no queflions in Divinity put to him, and confequently 

11 Dr. William Lloyd, fucce/Tively bifliop of St. Afapb, of Coventry and 
Lichfield, and of Worcefter, was born Aug. 18, 1627 ; and died Aug. 30, 
I7i7,in the 91ft year of his age," without lotlng the ufeof his underlland- 
*' ing," fays the writer of his Article in the " Biographia Britannica." 
From the following palTage of Dr. Swift, however, he does not appear t» 
have had always the entire ufe of it. " Yelterday the old bifhop of 
(t Worcefter, who pretends to be a prophet, went to the queen, by ap- 
" pointmenr, to prove to her majefty, out of Daniel and the Revehtiom, 
u that four years hence there would be a war of religion ; that the king of 
M France would ke a Proteftant, and fight on their fide ; that the Pope- 
" dom would be deftroyed, &c." Journal to Stella, July 1, 1712. — Bp. 
Burnet tell us, " he was the moil indefatigable in his induftry, and the 
" moft judicious in his obfervations, of any he knew, and one of the 
" greateft matters of ftyle then living." 

••' Pr. Lancelot Addifon } of whom, fee the Obfervations at the end of 
cm Third Volume, no 



,34 A VINDICATION OF 

ro room for this fcandalous ftory of his ignorance. But when 
the Dc&or waited upon the Bifliop a fcconil time, with Letters 
recommendatory from the Biihop of Oxford x , his Lordihip re- 
ceived him with a great deal of favour : he underwent an exa- 
mination publicly for three days with the reft of the candidates 
for Orders; and when he had received them, and his inftruments 
were delivered to him, the Biihop difmified the Doctor with this 
compliment, " Th:rt he wifhed it had been to the heft Living in 
" his Diocefe." This account I have heard confirmed by the 
■Reverend Mr. Price, Mafter of the Free School in St. Mary Axe, 
who was then Amanueniis to his Lordfhip, and an ear-witnefs of 
what palled J. The Biihop retained his good opinion of the Doctor 
for fome time j and there was a correfpondence between them, 
which the Doctor valued himfelf very much upon, till his Lord- 
fhip thought himfelf too freely dealt with in a Book, intituled, 
'* The Character of a Low Churchman," faid to be written by 
the Doctor ; but he never yet owned it : it was printed without a 
Name at firft ; and this laft Edition of it, with his Picture and 
Name before, was printed without his knowledge or confent, and 
in his abfencefrom town ; and therefore I fee no obligations upon 
me to vindicate Dr. Sacheverell from any charge which that 
Book lays him open to, till I become atTured, or know from the 
Doctor, that he wrote it. 

One word more. He owed no Canonical obedience to the Bi- 
fbop as his Ordinary ; for Cannock z , to which he was ordained, 
was not under his Jurifdiction, but a Peculiar of the Dean and 
Chapter of Lichfield ; and the Doctor did not offer himfelf to 
the Biihop to be ordained by him as his Biihop or Ordinary 5 
but, his Lurdlhip being in that neighbourhood, he thought it 
proper and handfome, as well as convenient for him, to receive 
ordination from his hands, whofe learning he has always fpoken 
of with the utmoft veneration. 

■« Dr. john Hough, principal of Magdalen Hall. He was nominated 
to the fee of Oxford in April, iGrjo ; and tranflated to Lichfield and 
Coventry in Au t ;uir, 1699. He refufed Canterbury in 171$, but accepted 
Worvcfier in Sept. 1717. He died, in his 93d year, March S, 1743. 

J Mr. Price was difcarded by his Lordfhip, for reafons he very well 
knows. BissrT. 

* Ib StjfionHhire, at jiq great oiftance from Lichfield. 

A man 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. i 3$ 

A man muft have a great deal of patience to enable hiin to 
perform the work I have undertaken, to rake over fuch a dung- 
hill of filth, to flay fo long in a place where nothing is to be 
found but what is grievous and offcnfive. Nothing but the con- 
cern 1 have to clear up the reputation of the Church in general, 
and my good Friend Dr. Sacheverell in particular, could en- 
courage, fupporr, and carry me through fo unpleafant a tafk. 

Wh. Pray what have you to fay to this other inftance of lus 
malice, " his barbarous infults upon the death of King William ; 
M his ftrange fentiments of the Revolution, and Mr. EberaTs 
H account under his own hand, who lives near Birmingham, 
" that the Doctor declared King William deferved to be De- 
" witted », and that he hoped he mould li veto lee it r" Tlu„, 
with fome more of his flights upon " King William's death, the 
41 Houfe of Hanover, and his drinking the Pretender's health 
" feveral times by the name of James the Third," is, I think, 
the fubllance of the next two or three pages, and the marrow of 
the charge contained in them. 

To. I have the good fortune to be very often in company with 
Dr. Sacheverell, and at times when fomething of this nature has 
been our ropick. He is too much a Gentleman and a Chriftian, 
to be guilty of any thing fo directly inconliftent with thofe cha- 
racters. In all my converfation, I could give my oath, that I 
do not remember that I have ever heard him fay any thing upoa 
the death of that King, that deferved thofe Inrd epithets, of 
" outrageous, barbarous, and infulting :" and I believe all that 
have heard the Doctor fpeak upon that fubjedt are of my mind ; 
or elfe Bidet would tell us where, when, and with whom, he 
gave this great offence. As to his opinion of " the Revolution, 
" the fucceffion in the illuttrious Houfe of Hanover, and his 
«' zeal againft; Popery," I have here by me the original Tefti- 
monial from his College, with their leal affixed to it, which I 
will read to you, and fave myfclf the trouble of -vindicating the 
Doctor upon this head any other way : 

44 Whereas our Letters Testimonial have been defired by Hcnrr 
" Sacheverell, Doctor of Divinity, and Fellow of St. Maiy 

a The Penfionary John De Witt and his brother Cornelius were maf- 
f.cred by the populace, Aug. i», 1672, with circumftances of unparalleled 
inhumanity. AjuJIiious account of this tragic event is given by Mr. 
Hume, Hift. of England, vol.Vll, p. 506, 

1 Magdalen 



a 3 6 A VINDICATION OF 

" Magdalen College in Oxford; we, the Prefident and Fellows 
" of the faid College, do hereby certify all perfons whom it may 
" concern, that the laid Henry Sacheverell is a perfon of a fobec 
** life and converfntion, well-arrc£ted to the picfent Conftitution 
•' both in Church and State, to her Majefty's perfon and govern - 
•• m-nt, and to the Protcflant Succefhon as by Law eftablifhed ; 
" that he hath always excelled a laudable zeal againft Popery* 
*' and hath never, in his Difcourfes, to the l>eft of our know- 
*' ledge, manifelted any ungrateful fenfc of the great blelTings, 
'• winch the Church and State, the Universities, and particularly 
** the College of which he is a Member, reaped by the late 
" happy Revolution. In witnefs whereof, we the laid Prefident 
" and Fellows have hereunto fet cur Common Seal, the 18th Day 
*' of January, in the 8th year of the reign of our Sovereign Lady 
*' Queen Anne, by the grace of God, of Great Britain, France, 
u and Ireland, Queen, Defender of the Faith, Annoque Domini 
11 1709." 

Now this was ready to be produced at his Trial, and in- 
tended to help forward his vindication from the high crimes and 
jnifdemeanors contained in the Firft Article of his Impeachment. 
I think I cannot add anv thing to it. This is an account under 
the hand and feal of thofe with whom he fpent the greatefl; part 
of his time in Oxford ; and I can anfwer for him fince he cam- 
to London, as often as I have had the happinels of being one of 
his companions. This Teltimonial alio clears him from the 
charge of " infolcnce to his Prefident, and great turbulence in 
44 his College," which we were jull now ipeaking of. 

Wh. I think it is enough : you take a great deal more pain? 
than you need to do : and I think, though I am a Whig, and 
do not much love the Doctor, this Teitimonial ought to have 
credit with us all, unlefs Mr. Billet had named the time when, 
and the place ujhere, he made himfelf a criminal in this refpect. 
But here is an ugly ftory, with chapter and verfe ; this of Mr. 
Eberal's, in which he declares, " that Dr. Sacheverell wifhed 
** King William De-witted." I remember fomcthing of this in 
a " Review w " formerly. Pray what is it ? 

To. What is it ? A lie, you may depend upon it, if it comes 
from the Review or Bidet ! The former peftered the Doctor 

k Written by Daniel De Foe j of whom fee above, p. 183. 

with 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. i& 

with this ftory, and charged him home, even to producing the 
names of thofe perfons who, Mr. Eberal fays, were prefent when 
the Doctor laid thofe words. His friends began to be a little 
alarmed at fo particular an account, and put him upon making 
his defence ; which he did, by printing this Certificate, with tltc 
hands of all thofe Gentlemen Ebcral mentioned, that the whole 
is a mod malicious falfehood, and that they never heard the 
Doctor fay anv thing like it. I will read the Certificate to you c , 
for your fatisfa&ion. 

" Whereas, in The Review, N # cxliv, p. 575, it is faid, that 
" Mr. Samuel Eheral, at or near Birmingham, has declared, that 
" he heard Dr. Henry Sacheverell fav of the late King William, 
" " That he deferved to be De-wittcd, and he hoped he fhould 
** live to fee it :" And whereas the faid Samuel Eberal has often 
" publicly declared, in the faid town of Birmingham, that the 
" faid words were fpoken in the prefence of the Reverend Mr. 
" Dagget, Rector of the faid Town, Mr. Henry Porter, Mer- 
" cer, and Father-in-law to the faid Samuel Eberal, and Mr. 
" Ifaac Spooner, Ironmonger : We, whofe names are hereunto 
" fubferibed, do teflify and declare, that we never heard rite 
" faid Dr. Heniy Sacheverell ufc any fuch expreilion, nor 
** utter any words tending that way. 

Witnefs our hands, this 31 dav cf March, 1710. 

" W. Dagget, Hen. Porter, Isaac Sfooxer/' 
Now this made even De Foe blufh, and he foibore to perfr- 
pute the Doctor any more with this ftory. But BifTct will re- 
vive it ; he is lure of the truth of it, and muft believe it. I 
know he has told tbJI ftory a thoufand times ; and I believe he 
may think it true now, it being one of the fad fates of Liars, " to 
** tell a Lie till they believe it themfelves." 

The ftory of the Doctor's drinking the Pretender's health 
feveral times is juft as true as this. I have a Letter" 1 here from 
Mr. Parker of Oxford, upon whom the whole ftory is charged, 
that he never knew the Doctor drink that health in his life, as 
this BifTet pretends j and any one that will give himfelf the trou- 

c Let the world judge whether this certificate of three pcifont ha 
balance to the pofitive oath cf cr:. Bisskt. 

d If {o, he would certainly have printed it; for it is an allowed 
snaxim, " De non entjbus, et non apparenribus, eadem eft ratio," BisseT. 

bis 



a** A VINDICATION OF 

ble of enquiring at Oxford or at Canterbury e , will find this tc* 
be as villainous a report, and as fcandalous a lie, as any in the 
Book. I obferve, when your Fatlion is at a lofs for fcaiuial, 
when your whole magazine is fpent upon the Tories, the Pre- 
tender is your dernier refort •, you plav him at us alltogethcr, and 
think you do our bufinefs effectually. It is my opinion, the 
Pretender has more hearty Friends among the Whigs and Dif- 
fenters of Great Britain, than in all Europe befides ; and his 
attempts to land firft in Scotland, which is fo fully flocked with 
them, confirms me in this notion. I believe he has more couit 
paid to him now, fuice fame alterations, than he has yet ever had. 

This, 1 think, is a fair, clear, and undoubted, teftimony of the 
Doctor's innocence in all that we have been fpeakitig of. In my 
opinion, it is a thorough vindication of him, from that Mat row 
of his charge, as you called it, contained in p. 21 — 23. 

Wh. If you go on thus, you will make this man as white as 
fnow, and Mr. Bidet as black as the Devil. For God's fake, 
plead guilty to lomething ; lure this Book of 63 pages muft 
have fome truth in it ; I would fain have you knock under a 
little. This Book will be a terrible fatirc upon my Friends, if 
vre can prove nothing in it. What fay you to this ftory about 
Sir Charles Holt ? It is a fwinger, if it be true. " The Doctor 
••was his Curate 1 ', and partly Chaplain;" and a Living being 
vacant in the gift of Sir Charles Holt, fomebody recommended 
the Doctor to him for the fucceffion ; but my Lady protcfted 
againft him j and faid, " He is a forry wretch ; he will go into 
•* the Kitchen among the Maids, aud banter the torments of Hell- 
*' fire before them."' 

To. That Sir Charles Holt had a Living in his gift void 
while Dr. Sacheverell was near him, is true; and that he rcfufed 
to give it him upon the account you ipeak of, is a lie. But, 
falfe as it is, I know it had obtained much, both before and at 
the Doctor's Trial, which put Mr. Bromley S upon writing to 
Sir Charles Holt to know the truth of it. He received an an- 
£wcr immediately, much in the Doctor's favour and commenda- 
tion ; and declared, that nothing but the Doctor's merit and 

e Where Mr. Parker's brother (the rrgiflcr of the prerogative court) 
was faid by Billet to hav» repeated this ftory to Dr. Boyfe, a phyficiin. 

' Ho was Curate tp Mr. Piercehoufe, the Incumbent of Aflon ; not 
to SirCbules, to whom he was only Chaplain. Bisset. 

£ William Bromley, cf«jj at that time Speaker of the hoiife of commons. 

growing 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. z*% 

growing parts hindered him from being prefcnted to that Living; 
he thought it would be a pity to bury fo promijing a young 
Gentleman in fuch a place. This Letter is now in the hands 
of Mr. Bromley, and did convince even his Enemies, thofe that 
wiflied and laboured to have the icandal hold good and tme h ; . 
and beTides, when the Doctor made his journey to his Living, 
lie was very handfomely and with great rcfpcct entertained at 
Afton near Birmingham, by Sir Charles and his Lady ; whicli, 
in my opinion, fhould convince every one that there could not 
he that averfion and abhorrence of the Do6lor in that good 
family, which this wretch Billet would perfuade the world there 
is. With this Letter to juftrfy the Doctor, Sir Charles wss 
pleafed to fend the Certificate I juft now mentioned, to vir.;':- 
care his reputation from the afperfion of Eberal. — What is the 
matter with you, Noll? I have not .thrown you into agitation** 
have I ? 

Wh. I do not know. I find ftrange motions within: I believ* 
I am in the " agonies of converfion ;" for it is not without great 
travail and pains that a Whig is delivered of his principles. 
This Book has made me mifcarry; and I perceive thou art an 
excellent Midwife; to make the beft of it. 

To. Pr'ythee keep yourfelf together a little longer, while I 
finhh ; and, my life for yours, I fend vou home a Tory. Here 
is die Sixth Article flares me in the face, and accufes the DccTor, 
p. z6, of " unchriftian imprecations, with a mixture of raee 2nd 
" profanenefs '.' This puts me in mind of a poor Watchman, 
who, the other morning, very elegantly gave us to under 
" that it was a dark cloudy morning, with a mixture of Moon* 
" fliine." I was as much at a lofs to reconcile the Watchman'; 
mixture with common fenfe, as I am Billet's. I can no mon 
account for " a dark light morning," than I can for " unchriftiaa 
" imprecations, mixt with rage and profanenefs ;" all impreca- 
tions are profane, and muft have rage in them : fo this i 
as proper, as, " I had a good Plum-pudding to-day, with a 

h To invalidate this narrarion, Mr. Billet has exhibited a certificate of 
Mr. William Whiftcn, to prove a negative — I he living was offered t» 
Mr. Whilton, who declined it — it was afterward given to Mr. Hoi'iex — • 
E r go, Dr. Sacbeverell could r.evsrhive had the refufaj of it. 

' This charge hs banters with a '.'ury of Mceoflnoe and Plum-fi:d- 
ding- BiiS£T- 

■' mixture 



2 .t» A VINDICATION OF 

•' mi vture of Flour and Ratfins." Well, but not a word more 
of the Pudding; the Doftor not only" damns the Diffcnters, 
'* but bids the Devil take them," p. 27. This is barbarous in- 
<tccd ; the Doclor not only damns the DiiTcnters, but double- 
damns them ; that is, " he wifhes them damned, with a mixture 
*' of damnation." But where does the Doftor do all this ? Why 
here, p. 26, and p. 27. He does not let us know any other 
place ; fomebody told him fo, he thinks; but, poor man, he has 
forgot it, or elfe he would certainly tell us " tke initial letters" 
of his name; for he fometimes does us that favour, and it is 
the ftrongeft evidence that he produces. So that here is a long 
(lory, without any mixture of evidence or truth, which is mad- 
nefs : and, fince Billet is upon his mixtures, I will give him 
3 fuitable motto : 

" Omne magnum mendacium habet mixturam dementi.e." 
Pr'ythee let him know that, when you fee him next, and defire 
him to make the belt ufe of the advertifement. 

Wh. Hang him, a dog, with a mixture of Hemp k ! I will 
never fee him again, if I can help it. Here is a ftory in the 
Seventh Article, which I think every body allows to be true ; 
that the Doftor courted a young Lady in Staffordshire, and left 
her very fouly, as Billet fays : I know abundance of Women 
who can hardly forgive him, though they love him well too. 
Billet lets off this very paflionately and naturally, as if he had 
been reading " Argalus and Parthenia I," or the fuft Volume 
of " The Atalantis m ." 

To. No, no, you miftake ; he himfclf has feen. a Woman un- 
der a difhefs of this nature; he has heard her reproaches for 
iuch " foul dealing," feen her tears, and felt her pallionatc 
clingingSj when he barbarouily left her, after a courtfhip of many 
years, and promifes to — 

Wh. Hold, I think you are in your agitations now : your 
pnffion makes you forget yourfelf; you fpeak as if Billet had 
clone all this to a Woman. 

To. I fpeak truth, and plainly ; which is more than he dare; 
or can do. I fay, William Billet, Elded Brother of St. Kathe- 

X Curling is with him an allowed peccadillo. Bisset. 

1 A well-known romance, of amorous fame. 

»" By Mrs. Manley j of whom fee above, p. 134. 

4 line's. 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 241 

lines, was formerly Minifter of Iv-er near Colebrook ; and Sarah 
Green of that place delighted to bear him, and, as he thoughr, 
to fee him : upon the ftrength of which, he became foon ac- 
quainted with the young Woman, her Mother, and Grandmo- 
ther j and promifed the Mother, upon her death-bed, that, if 
fhe died, he would take care of Sarah. She did die ; and the 
good man took Sarah to himfelf, brought her to London, courted 
her for a Wife, gave her fuitable raiment and education, took 
a companion into the houfe to te?.ch her addrefs and carriage, 
forced her to attend his Sifter, full fore againft her will, to the 
Conventicle, killed her dally, courted her nightly, and at laft 
turned her out of his houie, placed her in a common fervice, 
and cannot endure the fight of her, but, like wicked Amnon ", 
" the hatred wherewith he hateth her, is greater than the love 
" wherewith he has loved her 9 ." 

Wh. If this be true, the fellow is furely infatuated, to lay 
himfelf fo open, and give occalion for fuch a turn upon him: 
this is as bad for him as the ftory ot" the Coach ; but, if vou have 
good authority for it, it does not excufe the Doctor — I hope you 
do not pretend that. 

To. No, this does not excufe the Doctor ,' but I (hall do ic 
prefently. The Doctor behaved himfelf as honourably in this 
amour, which, by the bye, began twelve or thirteen years ago, 
as any man upon earth. It commenced, and was carried on, with 
a mutual refoiution not to marry without the Father's confent, 
which, by his civility to the Doctor at that time, they did noc 
defpair of obtaining : but, in due time, the Father fhewed them 
their miftake, protefted againft the match, and declared he would 
not give them a farthing, living or dying. Upon this, the Doctor 
was not fo frequent in his vifits as before ; but did all he could 
to bring the Father to confent, by the interceihon of fome neigh- 
bouring Gentlemen ; and, meeting with no fuccefs, the young 
Lady appeared mad, but not, like Billet, indeed ; fhe hoped by 

n 2 Sam. xiii. 1 5. 

To this itjry there needs no other anfwer but that of the rough dif- 
putant, " Belhfmin, thou lieit !" — Is it probable, that, while I was court- 
irg her, I fhould lee her do (for I had then no other fervant) all the work 
of the houfe, as making coal-liies, &c. ? — I have tret with her, by a 
Grange chance, at a friend's of mine in town, where Qxtfgntd a certificate 
" that this account i.= uf.erly f.il.'s." Bisskt^ 

Vol. II. R that 



I*K A VINDICATION OF 

th.ic boneji cheat to obtain what fhe found fhe couKI not any 
other way. But cite Father was flill obftinate ; the match broke 
off; the Laiiy returned to her fenies, anil the Doctor to his Col- 
lege and ftudies. Now this is a fair account of this whole 
matter : it was begun, carried on, and ended, with all the honour 
and fair-dealing that a man can fhew : he Hands acquitted now 
even bv the neighbouring Ladies who know the ftory ; and the 
young Lady berfelf does not condemn him. 

Wh. No, howfhould lhe ? the Woman is dead P. 
To. Only as live as you are; nav, fhe is more lively than 
ordinary now, for I hear her Father is juft dead, and has left her 
to dilpole ot herlelf, with a few tranlitory goods and chattels, 
which will tempt any man to take her, as mad and as deadz^ fhe 
is<l. I believe verily the poor young Lady muft put it into the 
Papers, as Partridge r was forced to dos " that fhe is alive and 
«' well;" and that Billet, as well as Bickerftaff, gives a falfer 
account of cruel and barbarous murders than all the Hiftorians 
of Grubftrecr. What 1 have told you is really fact : the Woman 
is in her ienfes, and in good health ; the Doctor is under no cen- 
fure, even in that country where the ftory is known; and there- 
fore this Fellow Billet is a vile flanderer; he ought to lofc that 
tongue which can tell fuch abominable lies, and that hand which 
can write them. 

Wh. I really believed this Woman once as mad as Oliver's 
Porter ', and now as dead as OliveT himfclf. What can be faid 
to or for fuch a Fellow as this ? He fpreadi ftories upon common 
hearfay only, and I am afraid from the commonefi people too. 

To. From this foul-dealing and murder, we come to [the 
Eighth Article, " great immodefty." He has heard, he favs, 
fomc odd ftories about " a Wench at Woodftock," and S — y 
W— r ' ; but he is not fure enough of them to report them. 
Now the Doctor protefts he does not know any woman in the 
world, vvhofe name begins and ends with thole letters ; and that, 
in his laft M folemn progrefs V as Billet calls it, he never called 

at 
P 1 find I was mifinformed about the gentlewoman's death. Bu.i 
S Why does not the Dotlor renew his addrefles ? Bissit. 

* In the Works of Dr. Swift. See hereafter, p. 263. 

* Of whom an account hat been given, rol. 1. p. 217. 
1 Sally Walter. 

» In th« beginning of May, 171©, Dr. Sasherwell entered upon a 

trjumphtnt 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 243 

at Wood frock. But that is nothing : he was very immodeft at a 
Chriftening in Southvvark j when he aiked the good Women, 
" it there was not fomehody in the company with Child ? If there 
" is not, I forfeit my Breeches ; for it is a Proverb in our coun- 
" try, That when a Parfon chriftens the Child, if none of the 
" good Women are breeding, he forfeits his Breeches," p. 2Z. 
The Doftor does not remember that he ever faid this (neither 
would he be at all concerned if he had faid it) ; but, it feems, the 
malignity ariles from his faying it " at fo facred an Ordinance." 
Over the Font, indeed, he could not have faid it with innocence ; 
but over the Ham and cold Fowls, I think, he might. You may 
here fee what notions thele four-headed Saints have of fociety 
and converfa. r ',pn 5 they will not allow the Minifter to take any 
fhare, or to raife any part, of that innocent mirth, which Religion 
indulges, artd which Nature requires. I remember, at Oxford, I 
was invited to fupper at a Ditfenter's, upon the clay when his 
Child was what they call chriftened ; the good Man in Black fat 
very furlily pious, and gave us an account of Nicodemus, till a 
bowl of Punch put a period to his hiltory. At fupper, he eat 
Bacon and Fowls, and preached " regeneration," miraculouflv ; 
every freih bit was " new birth," and at the lecond courfe he 
took occalion to tell, us we mud all " enter a fecond time into our 
11 Mother's womb." He took up a whole Fowl, which fell at once 
into the dim again, and plentifully beftowed the Sauce upon the 
Womens cloaths j " this," he faid, " naturally fuggefted to him 
" the fall of man, and the many fpots our nature received by it." 
Obfcrving the Women pretty bufy with their Handkerchiefs upon 
this occafion, he very compofedly told them, "they took more care 
" to clean the outward than the inward Woman." In fhorr, 
he would hardly fuffer any of the company to eat, or fpeak, but 
himfelf ; we had no mirth, but the little his ill-breeding and un- 
fociable temper gave us ; and, being very young folks, we wer» 
forced to convince him, " that there was a time for all things," 
in a manner which he did not like. 

I do not here pretend to juftify or encourage any " indecent le- 
" vities" in Clergymen, anv more than the ftoical morofities 
and mif-timed preachments of thefeLay Baptifts ; - but only I fay, a 

triumphant progrefs, to take pofleflion of a living in Wales; he was 
magnificently entertained at Oxford by the Umverfity, and received in 
the other great towns he palled through with loud acclamations and joy- 
ful congratulatioas of the people upon his deliverance. 

R z Minifter 



244 A VINDICATION OF 

Minifler may be " merry," as well as " angry, and (fin nor." 
He may repeat at (upper, after baptizing a Child, a whimfical* 
common country faying, without lofing u benefit of the Clergy." 

Wh. I think you fhould not take notice of thefe things : 
they are too trifling, and cannot hurt your Doctor's reputation, 
if they were really true. Here is a ftory in the Ninth Article 
worth your notice ; it feems, " he got fubftantially drunk at Sir 
" J. Walter's x houfe in Oxfordfhirc, and was laid flat under the 
<( table, which gave occafion for fome of the Wags to fay, 
" There lies the Pillar of the Church I" p. ^9. 

To. Some of the Wags ! No, fome of the Whigs faid it ; for 
the whole \i a lcandalous hellifh falfehood, and fuch a reflection 
upon the honour and reputation of Sir John Walter, and fuch a 
blot upon the Doctor's character, that he was refolvcd to clear 
them both, by communicating this Letter, which he received 
from that very worthy and much-efteemed Gentleman : 

" Reverend Sir, 
" T HAVE read that part of the Book you mentioned, and can 
" by no means think it worth your anfwering, becaufe, I am 
" credibly informed, the perfon that wrote it is a Madman ; but, 
" however, that part that belongs to me, I here teftify under my 
" hand to be an infamous, notorious, impudent lie r. 

" Weftminfter, Jan. 4. " J. Walter." 

Thus you fee, Noll, to what a prodigious height of iniquity 
and impudence your friends can fly, with what zeal they do the 
works of the Devil ; they feem as indultrious to earn Hell, as 
good Chriftians are to avoid it. I proteft, I am afraid they urll 
forget Chriftianity, return to their old Barbarifm, worfhip as well 
as work for the Devil, pluck out their eyes in blind devotion to 
him, and " offer their fons and their daughters," as well as 
" brethren," in facrifice at his altars. 

w As if for the Parfon to be the Town Bull were but a ivb'mf<y. 

BlSSET. 

x Representative in parliament for the city of Oxford, and one of the 
clerks comptrollers of the board of green cloth ; whom Dr. Swift has re- 
prefented as " an honeft drunken fellow," in his Journal to Stella, Oft. 1, 
and 5, 1711, and Jan. 13, 1712-13. 

y Hzjhould have faid, " As to the Doctor's behaviour at my houfe, to 
" my certain knowledge he was not difordered with drink," Bi sset. 

Wh. 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. i H 

Wh. Now you arc beginning to rant : mind what you arc 
about, and proceed to the Tenth Article. 

To. Thou canft not endure truth. In this Tenth Article, 
the Doftor is charged with being a great dab, as the Boys fay, 
for he plays on Sundays ; " that he has gamed often with an in- 
" timate Friend of Billet's upon that day," p. 29. Sure it was 
not Sir Henry fDutton Colt, Sir James of the Teak z , or black 
Wheate a , that gave the information ; no, but it was fome " inti- 
" mate Friend of his." If !>e could really prove that the Doftor 
ever kept company with " an intimate of his," I am fure we 
fhould have had a Thirteenth Article, " for keeping mod: fcan- 
" dalous company;" a character which, I am fure, mod of his 
" intimate friends" are open to. Well, but let us look over this 
leaf, and fee where the Doctor and this intimate Friend of his did 
it : here is no place mentioned ; his Intimate could not tell, 
or undoubtedly this material part of the fecret would have been 
imparted to fo near a Friend. Suppofe I mould give out in print, 
" That an intimate Friend of mine found him in bed with one of 
" his Parifhioners Wives, at Whifton in Northamptonfhhe." 
Would not he think himfelf horridly dealt with, if I did not tell 
the name of my intimate Friend, and of his " very intimate 
" Friend" the Woman he lay with ? and would not he think all 
the world fools and madmen to believe it ? and would not he 
himfelf be both, if he was troubled at it till fuch evidence con- 
finned it? If he does not mend his manners, recant b , and beg 
pardon for his Book, I will get an intimate Friend to tell me fuch 
itories of his life and converfation, as mail make his eyes fore to 
read them, and his cars tingle to hear them c . 

Wh. You would not fure accufe him of any thing that is falfe ? 

To. I would prove all my itories as he does; I would tell 
the world, This I had from an " intimate friend," this from a 
very near relation ; this I heard at a CofFee-houfe, and this Mr. 
A. B. told me ; for he thinks two Letters will condemn a 

z Sir James of the Peak is defcribei by Mrs. Manley, in " The new 
" Atalantis," as a notorious gameftcr. From his /kill is play, he was called 
" Monfieur le Chevalier," by the fools he had cheated of their eftates. 
His gaming on Sundays is cenfured in the Examiner, vol. I. Nr> 46. 

a Sir Thomas Wheate, baronet, was member for New Woodilock. 

b See the following Tradl, p. 237. 

c I defy him, and all his intimate Friends. Bis set. 

R 3 man, 



i 4 6 A VINDICATION OF 

man, as well as two Witneffcs. His Book is fluffed with A. 
B. C. D. &c. that it looks to me like Euclid ; only with this 
difference, yot^certainly find truth and demon flration in Euclid, 
but not fo much as the appearance of it in Bilfet. 

Wh. Indeed, I muff, own, here is a mighty abfence of proper 
tcfumony ; and I am afraid Mr. Bilfet is miftaken, if he thinks 
his fingle credit enough to gain the alfcnt and belief of his 
Readers. 

To. We are come now to eleventhly ; and I am as glad of it 
as his Audience when he comes to it, for he feldom exceeds 
tivelftbly in his Sermon ; and they rejoice to find that he is 
coming to a full flop. Indeed thefc eleventhly s and tavelftbly's, 
thefe falfc flories and falfe Englifh, the malice and uncharita- 
blenefs, the impudent cant arid folemn appeals to God to con- 
firm a lye, put me in. mind of the Dilfenting Teachers ancient 
and naodern ; they can do nothing unlefs they run twelve di- 
vifions, nay fome of them can arrive to fixteenthly and farther. 
This fellow can no more accufe than he can preach without 
fwelfthly ; and he makes very hard fhift to compleat his dozen : 
he is fadly put to it for his eleventhly; and it is a difcovery of a 
vaft fecict, which we knew nothing of, either in city or country, 
till now. The Doclor, like a Knave as he is, " when a Gentle- 
" man offered him a very good Living in Wales, accepted it, 
" though he was one of the Chaplains of St. Mary Ovcry's in 
*' Southwark." Why did he do this ? fays Bilfet. I remember 
.1 learned Head of a College in Cambridge, to the furprize of his 
friends, became a Prebendary of Canterbury ; and, being afked 
why he would take that preferment, being fo old and lo rich, 
he gravely replied, M Her Majefty offered it me fo kindly, that I 
" could not in civility refute it." The Doctor could not find 
any reafon to rcfufe it, till the Bifhop of St. Afaph * hinted one, 

« That 

ri Dr. William Fleetwood, born in The Tower of London, Jan. i, 1656, 
war, educated at Eaton, and thence elected to King's College, Cambridge. 
He entered into holy orders about the time of the Revolution, and was 
very foon efteemed a celebrated preacher. He was foon made chaplain 
to king William and queen Mary j was fellow of Eaton College, rector 
of St. Auftin's, London, and lecturer of St. Dunftan's in the Weft. Hit 
curious *• EiJay on Miracle?," on which Bp, Hoadly and others hare 
animadverted, was printed in :7c;. The next year he obtained from 

queea 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 247 

" That he ought not to take it, hecaufe he had never learnt 
" Welih." But tliis reaion fell to the ground, when the Doctor 
made it appear, "t hat, if he did preach in that Language, his 
41 Parilhioners mult learn Wclfh too." 

This unaccountable creature writes himfelf " Eldeft Brother 
u of St. Katherinc, and Reftor of Whifton in Northampton- 
44 fhire." Now, you muft know, there happens to be threescore 
miles between the Reftor and the Brother 4 ; and yet he is very 
angry with the Doctor, for " taking a Living at fo great a 
" diftance from Southwark." One would think by this, that 
Whifton flood upon Little-Tower-Hill, or that Northampton- 
shire was as near St. Katharine as it is in the Title-page of his 
Book. " Thou Fool, firft caft out the beam that is in thine own 
" eye ; then fhalt thou fee clearly to caft out the mote that is in 
" thy brother's eye." 

Wg. Does not the Law allow the Clergy of England to hold 
two Livings ? 

To. Yes, and the Gofpel too j and I defy him to fhew where 
it is forbidden. And our greateft Declaimers againft Pluralities 
were, and now are, themfelves Pluraliftsj but even the loudeft 
of thefc do not condemn the Doftor, hecaufe, though he has two 
preferments, he has but " one Cure of Souls" in the eye of the 
Law. 

Wh. And, I believe, Mr. Bidet's is the fame cafe ; and I hope 
he is no more to be condemned than your Doctor. 

<jueen Anne (in oppofition to the Houfe of Commons, who recommended 
their chaplain to it) a canonry of Windfor, to which he had been no- 
minated by king William the week before his death. In 1705, he retired 
to the little reftory of Wenham, Bucks, to indulge a natural inclination 
to the ftudy of Britifh hiftory and antiquities : and in 1707 an admira- 
ble fpecimen of his fkill appeared, in the " Chronicon Pretiofum." He 
was confecrated bilhop of St. Afaph, June 6, 1708 ; having been nomi- 
nated by the Queen without folicitation, and not even knowing of his 
preferment till he faw it in the Gazette. He was tranflated to Ely, 
Dec. 18, 1714; and died Aug. 4, 1723. His works wexe completely 
collected by archbiihop Herring, who had been his chaplain, and pub- 
lished, with a Life of the Author, in one volume folio, in 1737. 

e I have but four weeks in a quarter j when thefe are out, 1 have no- 
thing to do in the Church. BlSIET. 

R 4 To. 



t 4 3 A VINDICATION OF 

To. It is true ; I would only expofc the folly of the man, in 
this charge ; and how ilupid he is in making that a crime, which 
in its own nature is not ; and urging ic fo furioufly upon the 
Doctor, when, if there was any malignity in it, he himfelf is 
equally guilt v. 

Wh. Come, here is one Article more; and truly I do not well 
know what he means by it. Run over that 5 then (up up your 
Evidence, and adjourn; fori am wondci fully dtfirous to come 
to an anchor; thou haft tofi'ed me up and down ftrangely, and 
I am afraid I fliall be loft in the ftorm, which I am fure you 
will raife when you come to fum up and enforce what you 
have laid. 

To. Why, I declare, I do -"ot know whftl to make of this fame 
tivelftbjy. TheDoftor is charge in it with " falfehoods in doc- 
" trine and fait," and that " he preached an old Sermon before 
" the Magistrates of London, who he thinks deferved a new one, ' 
p. 31. The twofirft, he fays, " th Honourable Houle of Com- 
" mons proved againft him," as you ma; lee in the printed Trial ; 
and that this was not very nicely done, you ma] Ice in the printed 
Trial alfo, if you look towards the mi Idle of the Book. But, 
I perceive, the weight of this Twelfth Article lies chiefly in "his 
" preaching an old Sermon heroic the Magiftracy and Companies 
" of London, who deferved the honour .if a new one'." I be- 
lieve their Worships the Aldermen, efpecially the acute judges 
among them, had rather 1 mould prefent them with an " old 
" fine jewel," than with a new one which fell fliort in luftre and 
beauty. I believe the Doctor intended them the bell he had, 
and took fome time before he determined which of his Difcourfes 
he lhould prefent to them, 

I fancy Billet, by a nen» Sermon, means a Sermon with " new 
"doctrine; this of the Doctor's was full of "old doctrine," 
which lias lain in the Scriptures, the Homilies, and Articles of 
the ChuiJi, till it is quite out of date, and perfectly out of their 
mi id and remembrance : this is as unwelcome to their Worfhips, 
as die falling of Bank-ftock, or the New Miniftry ; they do not 
underftand docliines that appear in old ruffs. Give them thofc, 
that they think landed with the Revolution, fuch as are young 

« The decency of which he proves from the practice of Jockeys and 

Si ; Carpenters, Bisset. 

and 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. : 49 

and gay, fuch as give profit as well as pleafure, fuch as will 
make them Kings if the commonalty pleafe, hoift them from. 
Directors of the Bank to Directors of their Sovereign ; thefe arc 
the Sermons that will pleafe their Worships, gain thanks for 
their Excellency, and fend Gibfpn f to notify the egregious honour. 

W.H, But pray was not this Sermon of the Doctor's " a com- 
" mon hack at Oxford," as Billet affirms, p. 31 ? 

To. I have indeed heard the Doctor preach upon the fame 
fubject at Oxford fome years before he preached at St. Paul's ; 
but two thirds of the Sermon, at leaft, were new, and fuited to 
the occalion of the day on which he preached. Biffct is a very 
happy man if he can appear always i;e~ju, and has no occafion to 
revile his old ware. I do think the Clergy have the fame liberty 
in their Sermons, as the Queen has by law in her Fleet j they 
may build upon the old Keels, and keep themfelves within the 
Statute. A Merchant is Satisfied with a good Ship, though he 
can difcover iome Timber in it that has been uted before, when 
he finds it is not rotten, but found and firong. The Jockey does 
not throw his Racer to the Dogs after lie has run cue heat. The 
General does not cafhier his Soldier after the fir ft Battle; but 
intends, with Hudibras, that " he fhall live to fight another day." 
And I do believe the Clergy have fomething of this good hus- 
bandry among them ; and they are not at all to be blamed for it. 

Wh. I am fatisfied, if you are. Pray have you clone ■ I think 
you have laid enough upon this Article, and I hope our con- 
ference is at an end ; for he fays here, p. 32, " that he has done 
" with the Doctor;" and I am of the Judge's mind, If lie has 
" done with his Text, I have done with him." I never was 
fo miftaken in any caufe fince I was born : I was confident that 
the whole was true ; and that you could not fay any more for 
yqurfelf, than 1 have been able to fay for myfelf. 

To. It is true, he does fay here, p. 32, that he has done with 
our High Prieft, meaning the Doctor : but, at the end of the 
Book, a Poftlcript takes him to talk again ; a word or two about 
that, and fo conclude. Here is a copy of a Letter written to the 
Doftor by a Non-juror, and the Doctor owns that it is copia 
I'era ; he received the original from an Irifh Non-juring Dean, 
One of the worft of thofe who bear that character, among whom 

»' James G'.bfon, efi. was then Town Clerk of London. 

I do 



s$o A VINDICATION OF 

I do beHeve there arc many very excellent men. This Dean is 
pcevifh, impatient, fcurrilous, and always reviling ; he has a 
great ftiare of the worff. wit, the fatirical, and bellows it with- 
out diftinction upon all j mad that he has loft his preferment, 
and ajhamed, though willing, to regain it by taking the Oaths. 
After very great lervices to a Son of his in Magdalen College, 
he wrote this infolent Letter to Dr. Sacheverell. Such is the 
pride of the poor man, that he calls the Doctor plain Henry 
Sacheverell, becaufe he directed his to the Reverend Mr. Jones, 
and not to the Reverend Mr. Dean Jones. He has a Son, a 
Demy of Magdalen College, brought in by the Doctor's intereft 
when he was Dean of that Houfe. But the young Gentleman is 
not at all careful to obferve the Laws and Statutes of that Society; 
he is fo very remifs, that there has been fomc motions made 
to cut him out of it : the Dodtor interpofed, and defired it might 
not be done immediately; he would fee what he could do to- 
wards reclaiming the young man ; and, if he met with no luc- 
cefs, he would give his Father an account of it, and advife hiin 
to take his Son away privately, to avoid the fcandal of being ex- 
pelled. This latter the Doctor was forced to do : and, though 
he did it in the civilefl manner he could, he had this infolent, 
proud, unthankful return from that Non-juror. 

Wh. I have fcen him; he is a fat fhort man; he goes in a 
lay habit, with a fhort cloak and a very diminutive neckloth ; 
he looks like a primitive Quaker ; is troubled with bad lungs, 
and would be infufferably noiiy in company, if his bellows would 
hold to blow about all the malicious, ill-natured ribaldry he i6 
furniihed with. 

To. You have him exaftlv. I hope now you will allow 
that the Doctor is not in the intereft of the Non-jurors ; that 
the Jacobites do not court him, and place their hopes in his help. 

Wh. No, truly, this is pretty good evidence to the contrary ; 
I fliall begin to think, as you laid juft now, that " they pay 
*' their court fomewhere clle." 

To. You may depend upon it, I am right in that notion ; 
and I believe you will every day fee frefh confirmations of it. 
I have now done ; for this other Letter is trifling, and not worth 
Dur notice. As to the debt to Mr. Matthews, the Doctor never 
owed fix pence to one of that name in his lite. There was a con- 
troviafy of this nature between one Powel a Painter and the 
i Doctor : 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. j 5 i 

Doctor: but the debt was paid ; and the whole affair forgotten, 
except the generous part that the Doctor acted in it, which was 
the more remarkable becaufe he was then an Undergraduate 
and very young 2. 

Upon the whole then, is not the Doctor to efteem it his greateft 
happinefs, that, when fo many malicious as well as piercing 
eyes are upon him, when the whole herd of his enemies are 
learching into his life paft and prefent; they can find nothing 
but fuch trifles as thefe to blacken or charge him with ? Pofte- 
rity, if poffible, will have a better opinion of his character than 
we now have, when they find that his moft inveterate Adver- 
faries are forced to have recourfe to his younger years, and ar- 
raign the Doctor in Divinity with the common and almofl al- 
lowed h peccadillo's of the Under-graduate. Tell me the man that 
can undergo (pardon the expreilion) fuch * a day of judge- 
" ment," and preferve his reputation as he has done. The Bi- 
ihop of St. Afaph had a true fenfe of this, and very handfomely 
replied to the Doctor's Patron, who afked his Lordfhip, upon 
his deferring the Doctor's inftitution, " if he had any thing to 
** object again ft his Morals? 1 ' — "No fure, if any thing of that 
** nature could have been objected againftDr. Sachevere!l,I mould 
" have heard of it at his Trial." His Lordfhip knew the enemy 
was gone out, who would certainly gather all they could meet with, 
and report it to the Doctor's diladvantage. The Bifhop of Litch-, 
field and Coventry alfo, when the Doctor appealed to him at 
his Trial upon the fubject of his morals, was pleafed to declare 
to many noble Lords, " That it was the Doctor's particular good 
" fortune at this time, that he could allure them that his life and 
" character at Oxford was had in great efteem, and never, that he 
" knew of, fuffered upon the account of any immoralities." 

But fuppofc Dr. Sacheverell was reallv guilty of all that Bidet 
charges him with, of all that vour whole Faclion can bring 
againft him ; how docs this affect the cauie ? Is not Paffive Obe- 
dience a Chriftian Doctrine, becaufe the Doctor refilled the 

I Let the Irifh Dean, Mr. Ryley, and the poor WaflierwomaB, ice, 
anfwer for themfelves, and agree the matter with the Doctor at well as 
they can. Bisset. 

h I have read of venial fins ; bet never before of alfaved (Mies, even in 
the Church of Rome. Bis;j.t. 

Cook 



i S t A VINDICATION OF 

Cook, of his College, and " chaftiled liim with a Shoulder of 
' Mutton, when he was fifteen years old?" Are the Diffenters 
ous, becaufe the Doctor is unrighteous ? Are the Whigs 
innocent, becaufe he is not fo ? Is the laft Miniflry not to be 
blamed for the debts of the Navy, becaufe the Doctor owed 
Towel the Painter five pounds ? Are the Whigs to be juftihed 
for infulting their Sovereign, becaufe the Doctor was infolent to 
the President of his College? Is her Maje fly's Unkle » to be 
overlooked, Laid afide, and affronted, becaufe " the Doctor's 
" Unkle was not fo handfomely received by him as he expefted ?" 
Are the Duke and Duchefs of Marlborough, the Lord Sunder- 
bnd, the Lord Godolphin, to be excufed in their ingratitude and 
-ungenerous behaviour to the Queen, becaufe the Doctor " be- 
« came an enemy to Mrs. Hearlt, who brought him up, and 
** made him what he is ?" 

Wh. Hold, my Friend; we do not argue fo : you make the 
Doftor wondrouflv confidtrable ; all we hope to do, by laying 
open the fins of his life, is to make fume abatement in that faji 
ejleem which we fee the people have for him. 

To. It is falfe ; you do argue as I fay, and look farther than 
you own : your defign is, to depreciate the Doctor's character, 
kflen his reputation, and with that the cqufe ; he is in a great 
meafure the happy infirument, under God and the Queen, that 
has <nven us this nenu life'*-, flruck a damp upon Whiggifm, 
and laid it in a ftate of death. The eyes of the nation are upon 
hitn : the people love and admire him ; and, while they do fo, 
vou can have no hopes ; and therefore your whole endeavours 
are bent upon finking his intereft, and bringing the people off 
from that great efteem they have of his merit. If you can bury 
this in oblivion, you think it would be a good dtp to your own 
revivifcence ' ; and I know vou will fpare no pains, no coft, no 

i Laurence Hyde, .earl of Rochefter, the queen's maternal unkle. He 
had been appointed lord prelident of the council in September, 1710; and 
died May 2, 1711. See feveral curious particulars of this great nobleman, 
of the duke and duchefs of Marlborough, and of iheir families, in Dr. 
Svvifi's Works, and particularly in his Letters. 

!' A new life he has given us, with broken heads, broken limbs, broken 
w'mlows, and (this Writer hopes) broken hearts. Bissf.t. 

' This new-coined, long-winded .grabbed word, and fc poriferous, are 
ail that the trcrld has got by this learned Tieatife. Eisset. 

villain v. 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 253 

villain}', to effect it ; and of this I have fufFicient proof. The 
Doclor has received two Letters from Fuller m in the Mint, a 
man renowned for his fin, and intrigues with Daniel De Foe, 
in which he acquaints him of great preparations made againft 
him, the good Bifhop of London n , and other eminent Divines 

of 

m This infamous man, who pretended to prove the wurnv.ng-pan ftory, 
on which fo much ftrefs was laid at the'Revolution, was voted by the com- 
mons, Jan. 7, 1691-2, " a notorious cheat, impoftor, and falfe accufer." 
On the 23d of June, 1702, he was convi&ed, in Weftminfter Hall, u fo? 
" being an impoftor, and publishing falfe and fcandalous Libels t" and 
was condemned to ftand thrice in the pillory, to be fent to Bridewell, 
whipt, kept to hard labour, and to be kept in prifon till he paid a fine 
of 1000 marks. He published two different narratives of his own life j 
and a third, under the title of " Mr. William Fuller's Trip to Bridewell, 
** with a true Account of his barbarous Vfage in the Pillory, &c. 1703. " 
—We find him again figuring in the annals of impofture, in 1717$ 
when, being found guilty, Sept. 14, upon two indictments, of defrauding 
feveral perfons of fums of money on pretence of getting them places, he 
was fined fifty pounds, and imprifoned two years. 

n Dr. Henry Compton. This great Prelate oppofed the perfecuL 
Dr. Sacheverell, and protefted againft feveral fteps taken in that arlarr. 
He was the youngeft fon of Spencer earl of Northampton, and born i.-j 
1632. He was entered a nobleman of Queen's College, Oxford, in 1649 j 
and, at the Refioration, became a cornet in a regiment of horfe. Quit- 
ting that poff, he entered into orders, and was made C2non-commcner < 
Chrift Church in 1666 ; mufter of St. Crofs in 1667; canon of Chrift 
Church May 24, 1659 ; bi/fcop of Oxford in Dec. 1674. He was trani- 
lated to London Dec. iS, 1675 ; fworn of the privy council ; and apr 
tutor to the princefTes Mary and Anne, fucceffively queens of England. 
He ftrongly expected to be promoted to Canterbury ; and was greatly ci.- 
appointed when it was given to Dr. Sancrofc in 1677, but more when 
Dr. Tillotfon was preferred toitini6gi. He was degraded from his 
epifcopal funftion by king James, Sept. 6, 16S6 ; and reftcred Se; r, z?, 
1688. His learning was foperficial, but his great diligence in dis- 
charging his epifcopal duties was truly exemplary. He is faid to have 
been " an humble, modeft, generous, and good-natured man ; but weak, 
** wilful, much in the power of others, and ftrangely weided to a party." 
He appeared in arms at Nottingham a little before the Revolution, ani 
declared his readinefs to fight for the prince of Orange. He was a true 
bo and brave champion of ths church,, ar.d a melt munificent benefactor 



*S4 A VINDICATION OF 

of the Church of England. He tells him, " That a Book was ready 
u for the piefs ; that he himfelf was hired to tranfcribe it, a part of 
" which talk he did perform ; but it appeared fo deteftably wicked, 
" fo malicioufly falle and fcandalous, that he refufed, though he 
n wanted bread, to go on with it." The poor man thinks himfelf 
near his grave, is very ill, and very penitent; and, without any 
hopes of reward, gave the Doctor this caution, as the only fatif- 
fattion he could make him for engaging in it fo far as he had 
done. Some of the Doctor's friends are of opinion, that this 
Book of Billet's is the Book he mentions ; but, the Doctor only 
being concerned in this, it mull; be another. This was intended as 
the fore-runner of lome greater wickednefs. They were to fee 
how the world digefted this, before they gave us ftronger meat ; 
but thanks be to God, that her Majelty put a ftop to it ; that, 
by the late alterations °, fhe broke their meafures, and their 
hearts too. 

Wh. I will be bold to fay, for all this, that you Tories do 
over-rate the Doctor's merit; even fome of the Clergy fpeak 
againft him. 

To. I know they do, and againft the Church too ; and there- 
fore are to be looked upon as the filth of the earth, as " fait that 
" has loft its favour, and fit only to be trampled under foot." 
1 have fpent many an hour in getting a notion of a Whig 
Clergyman. I could plead a little in favour ©f a Lay Whig ; 
ignorance, perfuafion, intereft, and great temptation, may prevail 
upon a Layman : but, when I fee a man betraying a Church 
that gives him his bread, into the hands of thofe men that will 
certainly ftarve him when they have got it, is to mc the greatelt 
aftonilhment in nature, fomcthing that I fliall never be able to 
reconcile : they muft furely have a bribe that will keep them 
when the Church is loft, or their own intereft would make them 
honeft ; or elfe they mult be Kirkmen in difguife, and be re- 
iolved to facrihee the Liturgv, burn the Biftiops, throw up the 
ceremonies, and fall in with all the enthufialtic extravagance of 
the wildeft Fanaticifm. When the confeiences of thefe men are 

to it. Whatever imperfection there might be in his character, he was 
allowed to be much a gentleman, and no lefs a Chriltian. He died July 7, 
1713, aged 81. — He published feveral fmall treatifes on religious fubjecls ; 
and " The Life of Donna Olympia Malachini/' tranllated from the 
Italian. 

u The total change of Miniftry, 

the 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVER ELL. 255 
the fubjects of my meditation, it is a vaft furprize to me, that 
they do not remind them of oaths, covenants, and the moft folemn 
vows, to adhere firmly to the doctrine of the Church 5 all which 
they have fhamefully broken, and are perjured before God 
and man. 

I obferve thofe of the Clergy that arc moft furiouflv bent 
againfl the Church, upon the principles of Whiggifm, are thofe 
that have been raifed from the mcancft circumttances to a very 
elevated condition of life ; who have rifen gradually from cleaning 
a Gown, to wearing one ; who began Foot-boys and ended 
Chaplains to their Dukes, loaded with preferments, and fwelled 
with dignities. Poor abject wretches ! hoifted from a Dunghill 
to a Cathedral, from a Cottage to the Altar, and yet have no- 
thing raifed but their income ; their fpirit continues mean and 
low as their parentage : thele, like JBralesford P, are fcandaloully 
covetous to pleafe his Grace, which is " double idolatry." 

When I fee thefe men enemies to a Church that has given 
them eftates which they could not have the impudence to think 
of in the houfes of their Fathers ; I own, I have no moderation, 
no temper, no patience. When I fee them cloathed in Scarlet 
who were born to " embrace Dunghills Sj" without merit, with- 
out the common neceffary abilities 5 by the pure redundant Good- 
will of Pharaoh's daughter, taken from the mire, and advanced 
to iome eminence and height, and yet are always plotting againfi 
her, ever fiding with her enemies, and doing contrary to her 
inclination, her will, her earneft defire, " when it is their duty 
" to comply with it:" I can juftify fome refentment, and I 
have leave to expofe them to the world ; ihame and confufion of 
face, it may be, will work upon them, when nothing elfe will. 
Good God ! will they wound the breaft that gives them milk, 
and bite off the pap that reaches out nouriihment to them ? will 
they deftroy a Church that feeds them, and pull down the Altar 
by which they live ? ' 

You wonder, I believe, to fee me fo earneft ; but fure, if any 
time, or if any caufe, required more zeal than ordinary, it is 
furely this time, it is certainly thit caufe. When the enemy is 

P Humphry Bralesford, M. A. rettor of Hawkfworth, and prebendary 
of Southall, Nottinghamshire. 

s His father was a Dean, which makes him as prouias if he had been 
a Duke. Bisset. 

got 



a 5 6 A VINDICATION OF 

got within cur walls, it is time to exert ourfelves, to ftand u'p 
in our own defence, and to pufh back the encroaching rebels 
through the breach by which they entered. Though it is my 
real opinion that the DitTcnters are Schifmaticks, that " it is ini- 
" quitv, even their folemn Affemblics ;" yet thefe men ftand 
fairer in my efteem than a Whig Clergyman : he breaks the 
moft folemn facramental oaths, he betrays his truft, he gives up 
the caufe of God and the Church, knowingly, defignedly, and 
with premeditation. All your cant of " tender confcicnces, im- 
" proper time, forbearance, comprehenfion, and toleration," is 
chaff and froth ; it is a poor thin cobweb, and will not hide this 
body of fin I am fpeaking of. 

Wh. For God's fake, what do you mean by all this heat and 
pafiion ? Thou art as hot as a Glafs-houfe r ; I am really roajled 
with {landing fo near you. 

To. If you remember, I promifed you that I would roajf you ; 
and, if I had time, I would be " feven times hotter than I am » :" 
but I cannot at prefent proceed to the other part of this Book, 
in which he defcribes " the High- church men in general;" nei- 
ther do I think myfelf obliged to it, having at this time under- 
taken to ftand in defence of Dr. Sacheverell's caufe only j which, 
in a great meafure, is the caufe of the Church. What he fays 
in the remainder of this Book is an infamous fatire upon the 
Difcipline, the Ceremonies, and the Liturgy, of " the Church of 
" England as by Law efiablifhed." It fhews him an impudent 
apoftate from the communion of it ; a fchifmatical diflurber of 
its peace, and one of the vileft of thofe " falfe brethren" the 
Church has reafon to complain of, and arm againft. 

I mall therefore leave him to the chaftifement of our Con- 
vocation, to whofe confideration and correclion too her Majefly 
has earneftly recommended [itch men, and fuch books. We pro- 
mife ourfelves, from Her Majefty's moft gracious Letter, and the 
kind affurances given to that Synod, of all " fitting encourage - 
*< ment" from her royal felf, that they will//, and tianiaft thofe 
affairs which the prefent ftate of the Church make it abfolutely 
neceffary for them to do ■ and then this Billet, little as he is, and 
others, great as they are, will find that we have fome power, 

* Letine add, u as foul as a Draught-houfe." Bisset. 

• J QimA imagine how that can pcflibly be, on this fide Hell. Bisset. 

fom; 



THE REVEREND DR. SACHEVERELL. 15? 
fome discipline, left in the Churcli full ; and that there are men 
amongft m, who have courage to put it in execution, " deliver 
" over to Satan" the Apoftate, the Heretick, the Scliifmatick * 
and " cut off all thofe that trouble us c ." 

Wh. I believe I fhall never fee any thins: of that as lone as 

iiive. - s B 

To. And if you do not pray and ivz/h to fee it, it is no mat- 
tar whether you live or noj and fo adieu. 



N° II. 

MR. BISSET'S ft&€Z$%%%%®$»X 

I N 

ALctter to the Reverend Dr. HenrySacheverell ; 

Occafioned by his reading the Doctor's Vindication, lately 
Publifhed by Henry Clements, at the Half-Moon in 
St. Paul's Church-yard. 

" Heu quam difficile eft crimen non prodere vultu !" Ovid. 

*' I acknowledge my Faults, and my Sin is ever before 
" me." Pfal. li. 3. 

Reverend Sir, 

I HAVE read your " Vindication from feveral Afperfions caff 
" upon you in a Book" of my writing; and I muft honeftlv 
confcfs to you, that it has given me the " confuiion of fact" it 

1 Gal. v. 12. 

u This is a downright forgery. It was drawn up by the fame hand* 
with the Doctor's Vindication, as 1 am allured by their intimate ac- 
quaintance ; and my Publiflier's name put to it, the better to deceive the 
world: and it did fo in great meafure. Bisset. — At the bottom or" tho, 
original title ftood, " London printed, and may be fold by A. Baldwin, 
«' &c." as in Biffet's title-pages. 

Vol, II. S promife* 



i 5 8 MR, B I S S E T ' S 

promifes in the fccond page : the deteftable picture of the 
Faction " has given me loathing anil abhorrence, equal to the 
*' love which I once bore to the odious Originals,'* p. z. I am 
now convinced, that every word in my Book is falfe and fcan- 
dalous. But I did really believe, when I wrote thofe actions of 
your life, that they were undeniably true ; I had many of the 
accounts, as well as many encouragements to publifh them, from 
•very great Men. The authority with which I received them, 
the temptations I was under, the glittering profpecls I had of 
great preferment, and, I muft ingenuoufly own, fome natural 
inclination to revile, hurried me on irrefiftibly to the crime which 
I am now lamenting ; and thefe I hope alio will in fom* mea- 
fure extenuate the guilt, and make my way to forgivenefs eafv. 

It would be too tedious to lay before you all the fleps that were 
taken, the feveral confutations and cabals, antecedent to the 
publication of my " Modern Fanatick." Daniel De Foe had 
then a Book of this nature in hand, which, I find with the utmofr 
furprize, your Vindicator had fome knowledge of j but that was 
leveled at other great men, Biihops and Prieils, befklcs yourfelf. 
Our Party unanimoufly voted, that nothing could fo effectually 
revive and advance their credit with the people, as the death and 
defhuction of jours; and it was refolved that I fliould begin 
firft : my name being great among the mob, for my plain Englijb 
Sermon, they thought what I wrote would be more acceptable, 
and leave greater impreffions upon them. After this, De Foe 
was to appear, and charge the greateft men in the Church with 
no lefs than a conftant correfpondence with the Pretender ; fome 
Letters, by way of vouchers, were forged by them, and the ableft 
men in town at counterfeiting hands were actually in the fecret. 
This, I can allure you, upon my own knowledge, was the project 
Fuller had a fhare in, and advertifed you of w : but you are now 
in no danger; our party is dilpirited beyond expreffion, our mea» 
fures are all broken, our defigns all laid afide, and poor Fuller 
plentifully curfed for his confeientious difcovery of a plot, which 
the Managers had given up ever fince the late alterations at 
Court. 

This is an honeft account of the conception and birth of my 
Book, and what we intended mould fucceed it j and it is an 

■w See above, p. 153, 

unfpeakable 



RECANTATION. 259 

unfpeakable aftonifhment to me, that my Friends fhould furniffi 
fne with materials fo ca'fily to be confuted and expofed. I muft 
acknowledge, the ftory of " your gaming on Sundays" was my 
own ; I heartily beg pardon of God and you for it : our buii- 
nefs was accufation, and we did not think ourfelves obliged to 
pfecife veracity, any more than in an " Anfwer to a Bill in 
" Chanceiy," or in a Speech at an Impeachment. The reft of the 
{lories I received chiefly from Diffenting Preachers ; that of 
" fmuggling the wench at Woodftock," from Daniel Burgefs ; 
that of " the Breeches," from Mr. S — re j the little obfeene hint 
about " tickling their loins with her finger," from young 
R — f — well ; and truly, I muft confefs, neither of us knew at 
that time that we were giving a double entendre to a very ferious 
expreffion in lfaiah. I am obliged to your Vindicator, that he 
took no notice of it in his Book; I fuppofe his abhorrence fo 
fliocke«,lhim, that he could not engage in it. 

This fair confeffion, and honeft acknowledgment of my fin, 
I hope, will plead fuccefsfully for me, and induce you by your 
Pravers to retain thofe " bleffed Advocates in Heaven" in my 
favour, whofe nature and office your Vindicator lias with great 
perfpicuity illuftrated to me. 

To this petition, Reverend Sir, I would be admitted to add my 
thanks for a favour received. I am extremely touched with the 
fenfe of your Chriftian charity and brotherly affection, in with- 
holding from the Publick that account of my Life, which, your 
Vindicator's Letter tells me, my Enemies have put into Mr. 
Clements'? hands. It is a noble inftance of your genefofity, to 
keep' that a fecret, after I had given you fucli provocations as 
would juftify your declaring it in every ftreet and high wary. 
I do affure you, this generous and Chriftian aft has fo much, af- 
fected me; that I have bundled up all the packets of fiejh j caudal, 
which your Enemies have fent in to me for a fecond Book ; and, 
like the Sorcerers in the xix ,h of the Acts, burnt them upon a;i- 
'uiclion. I do not doubt but many things will forthwith be pub- 
lished againft you, under my name ; but vou and the world may 
depend upon it, they are fpurious. I do here folemnly declare 
to you, that I will have no part in any Book or Pamphlet here- 
after, that reflects upon your character and conduct, or upon the 
Vindicator, or the party which you efpoufe. Therefore I 'oeg 
of you :© accept of thb my fubmiffion and recantation, and to 
S % look 



26o M R. B I S S E T ' S 

look upon every thing of this nature, that is afcribed to me, or 
bears ray name, to be without my knowledge or content-; and 
fuller it not to provoke you to publilh the account aforefaid of 
my life and converfation ; becaufe, if you do, I am ruined, and 
my family mull ftarve. , 

You cannot imagine how I have been carciTed by fome of the 
City Clergv of the tnoderate principle, not to much for reviling 
jou (though that is extremely grateful), as for ridiculing the 
Liturgy, bantering the Ceremonies, and representing the whole 
Church with circumflances of contempt. 1 can atiure you, I 
am prorrvifed, by fome of them, no lefs a rewvd than the Living 
of ^:. Andrew* Holboum; which, I hear juft now, and am 
heartily glad of it, yon have a fairer prolpect of than any one 
in town x . 

I mention this court that is paid to mc, and the friendship J 
receive from my fuperiors, only as fo many arguments to induce 
vou to be propitious to me, and number me with tlioie of yeur 
Enemies that vou forgive. 

44 Et nuoniam ita natura comparati fumus, ut cui multum 
u debeamus, illi flurimum debere velimus ;" I muft end with 
another addrefs : that you would, Si'-, exprefs the continuance of 
your good-will to me, by interceding for me with thole Mem- 
bers of vour aco^uaintance that lit foremoft in tke Houfe of 
Convocation •- it will be an unlpeakable affliction to me to be 
the tirlt example of Church difcipline, and have my name fir ft in 
the regifters of Eccleliaftical cenfure. Let, I pray, this Letter be 
communicated to them ; I am very willing it ihould be printed ; 
for, 1 think, the more open the confellion, the more acceptable 
it is to God and our Governors. Alas ! I am too inconfiJerabie 
to be begun ivith ; there are higher objects of their refentment, 
and fuch as will become that auguft Affembly; and fuch as I 
will bear teftimony againft, for intriguing and caballing againft 
the Church, and, let me tell you, the Queen too. 

Upon the whole, Reverend Sir, I do here molt lolemnly allure 
you, That I will return faithfully to the bufincfs of my cal- 
ling ; that I will difcharge it as I ought : 1 will lay aiide all 
Book-writing and Party ; I will wear the Surplice, and read all 
the Prayers at Church j I will no more laugh and ridiculuufly 

x And which he accordingly obtained. 

cant 



RECANTATION. 261 

•cant out the Litany; I will bow reverently, and not with a grin, 
at the name of Jesus; I will not, as formerly, difpenfe with 
kneeling at the Sacrament ; I will not baptize without the fign 
of the Crofs, and GofTips ; I will have a longer Sermon, and a 
fhorter Prayer; I will conform cntirelv to the Church of Eng- 
land, and wholly abandon the Conventicle; " I will alfo take 
*' heed to my ways, that I ofiend not with my tongue." In a 
word, " I will put off the old man, with his deeds, and become 
" a new creature." 

Reverend Sfcr, be pleafed to excufe the length of this Epiftle ; 
it contains the breathings of my foul, and what I could not for- 
bear writing to you. I hope God will blcfs vou, and the Go- 
vernment reftore you ; that God will open your heart, and the 
Queen your mouth ; that you may again " teach the ways of 
*' righteuufnefs unto the wicked, that tinners may be converted 
" unto it;" among which, I confels with fhame and confufion 
of face, there is not a greater than 

Your poor, peniterrr, and moft affectionate brother, 
St. Kathcrine, 
Jan. 17,17 10- 1 1. W It, L I A M B i S S ET. 



N° III. 

An Answer to a Second Scandalous Book, 
that Mr. Bisset y is now writing, to be publifhed 
as loon as poffible. 

" And underftandeit my thoughts long before." Pfal. exxxix. 2. 

■" And to R E-C A N T, is but to c a N T again." 

Sir Roger L'Estrange, Sat. on Mr. Lee. 

Gentle Reader, 

I A M fure thou art very much furprized at the Title-page of 
this Book ; and I know that thou art this moment reafoning 

y Mr. Biflet was living in 1720, and publi/hcd Verfcs on the Birth- 
day of t'ne Qncen that year. He is called " the plain Englifh Madman," 
p. 187, from his " Plain Engli-fh, a Sermon," and " More plain Englifh, 
" in Two Sermons, for Reformation of Manners, 1704V* 

S 3 with 



jCz an answer to 

with thyfelf, and, with great wonderment of mind, groping for 
fome rational account of my defign. Now, methinks, 1 fee you 
fcratch your head, pull your under-lip, and look very ftudious 
upon the matter, full of thought, " how it is polTible for me to 
" anfwer a book before it is published." 

Now you mult know, Sir, that there are tiatural and there are 
moral impoltibilkies. The latter of thefe only fuppofe the high- 
eft degree of difficulty : thefe by men of great enterprizing fouls 
have been lurmounted : the flupendous march to the gloiiouc 
victory at Hockftct every one thought morally impofiible ; and 
yet the duke of Marlborough convinced us that it could be 
done. Every one eflecmed it morally impolhblc, that that cer- 
tain Curate of Salop z could, if he had any confeience, fo fcanda- 
louflv interpret St. Paul, and make the xiii t!l of the Romans en- 
courage Rebellion, more than an Ordinance of the Rump Parlia- 
ment, or Hoadly's " Mtafures of Obedience." Did anv one 
think it pojfible for Billet to be fo impudently wicked, as to 
charge Dr. Sacheverdl with fo many of the word iniquities, 
when in his confeience he knew them all to be malicious and 
falfe ; that they had no more title to belief, than he has to his 
Living, or Luraley Lloyd a to the epithet of Honourable ? And 
yet, you lee, thefe moral impojjibilities are got over. And there- 
fore prav, good Sir, ftand no more aghalt at the feeming dif- 
ficulty °f m y undertaking. I am a mighty Friend to all great 
.achievements, and fcorn to engage in. any work that to vulgar 
minds does not feem to have lomething in it of the impofiible. 
My natural inclination to great deiigns and great actions will 
make me for ever refpsct a Reverend Divine h , for the fu re- 
prizing Apotheoiis of a certain Duke ; nothing but the molt 
exalted genius could have founded his Grace's title to Heaven 

* Bp. Fleetwood pubhfhed, in 1 710, without his name, " The Thir- 
*' teenth Chapter to tee Romans, vindicated from the abufive S?nfes put 
" upon it. Written by a Curate of Salop, and directed to the Clergy of 
" that County, and the neighbouring ones of North Wales j to whom the 
*' Author wifheth patience, moderation, and a good understanding, for 
" half an hour." See an account cf the Birtiop, above, p. 246. 

a A perl'on who claimed the title of lord Lumley in preference to the 
noble family who dill enjoy it with the earldom of Scarborough. 

b D r , White Kennet ; fee vol. III. p. 37. 

upon 



A SECOND SCANDALOUS BOOK, Sec. 263 

upon fuch occult and moft indifputable reafons. The world 
will not exceed this great work, till the man is found that can 
fquare the Circle and take a Comet by the tail. 

There is in me a virtuous emulation, a laudable ardour of 
mind, to fignalize myfelf with thefe Heroes aforefaid, by fome- 
thing uncommon and unexpected} and therefore I am refolved 
" to anfwer a Book which is not yet published." But, before I 
begin, that I may not lofe the good efleem of righteous men, 
and guard againft the malicious afperfions of the wicked, I do 
declare, that I am no Conjurer ; that I have no good undcr- 
ftanding, no manner of commerce, with Satan upon this account; 
and therefore I defire that FIamfteed c and Partridge" 1 would 
neither love me as a Brother, nor hate me as a Rival. I do fur- 
ther folernnlv proteft, that I have no afliitance, dire£tlv or in- 
directly, from the Pope ; and that the Pretender has no more a 
hand in it than the Czar of-Mufcovy ; that I have nothing to do 
with Mahomet's Pigeons ; that I have no fort of acquaintance 

c John Flamfteed, M. A. born Aug. iq, 1646, was appointed afrro- 
nomer royal, March 4, 1674-5; and in 1684 was prefented to the 
living of Burftow in Surrey; which were all the preferments this truly 
great man ever obtained : but he was honoured with the friendship and 
confidence of Newton, Halley, Molineux, Wall:?, Caflini, aud other phi- 
lofophers of the firft reputation. He died Dec. 3 1, 1719. His " Hiftoria 
u Cirleftis Brltannica," that noble and lafting monument to his memory, 
was published in 3 volumes, folio, 1725 ; a great part of it having been 
printed before his death. He was alfo author of many other valuable 
works, and of numberlefs papers in the Philofophical Tianfadions. 

d John Partridge, born Jan. 18,1644, died June 24, 1714. — As he 
was the butt of the witty Dean cf St. Patrick's, the ridiculous part of his 
character, or -rather the ridicule that was thrown upon him, will be re- 
membered when the reft of his perfonal hiftory is forgotten. When he 
had learned to read, and a little to ivrite, he was bound apprentice to a 
(hoe-maker. When he was eighteen, he procured a Lily's Grammar, a 
Gouldman's Dictionary, Ovid's Metamorphofis, and a Latin Bible; and, 
by the help of thefe books, acquired Latin enough to read the works of 
aftrological authors in that language. He next applied himfelf to the 
ftudy of Greek and Hebrew; and alfo ftudied phytic. He was a fhoe- 
rr.aker in Covent Garden in 1 62o ; yet ftyled himfelf " Phyfician to his 
" Majefty" in 1682. He was one of the fworn phyficians, but never 
attended the court, nor received any falary. His epitaph, and a lift of 
fevera! of his works, are printed by Granger. 

S 4 with 



264 AN ANSWER TO 

with the French Prophets ; the bilhop of Worccfter e , or nny 
fecond-.fighted perfon ; and yet, for all this, I know that Air. 
Biffet, notwithftanding his fulemn promife to the contrary in his 
late Recantation ', is now writing againft Dr. Sacheverell and 
his Vindicator. This Second Book will not he fo big, but it is 
rtfolvcd by the Party that it fhall be asfsilfe, as the Firfh 

In the three or four firft pages, he excufes himfelf to the 
world, for not rejoining fooner ; for detaining from them fo long 
the plcafure and the profit which his Writings always derive 
to himfelf and friends ; that his affairs unhappily called him to 
"Whifton in Northamptonshire, and detained him there till juft 
now; and none of his Friends were fo kind as to let him know 
how much bis name was up in town, while be lay in bed\x\ the 
country : but, being now returned, his Acquaintance have re- 
counted to bim all that has part ; and, with an indignation fuita- 
ble to the affront, he buckles himfelf to the battle, refolves to 
cut clown all antagonists, and difpenfe amongft us the poor con- 
tents of that blunderbufs his head, which he does not doubt will 
convince the world how bavbaroufly he has been abufed in a late 
" Vindication of Dr. Sacheverell," and an infamous half-iheet, 
intituled, his " Recantation/' He declares, p. 4, with a mixture 
of rage and prof.nienefs, that he knows nothing of that Recanta- 
tion : and begs earneltly of his friends, the Dillenters and Whigs, 
■** that they would not think it pofhble for him to repent; that 
** he is entirely as wicked as they can defne, and does not feel 
<• the leaft relenting or remorfe." 

A very pious declaration this, for a Clergyman convicted of 
the higheft crimes, and found guilty of the blackeft fins ! lilefs 
me ! what will become of a finucr, that is afliamed of his re- 
pentance, and cries at the thoughts of our believing that he 
ivept ? I am of opinion, that ldb Printer mav he prevailed upon 
to produce the copy in his own hand-writing 6 : but I am not 
willing to carry matters to fuch extremes as yet ; I cluife to de- 
fer this grand confutation, till he favours the Publick with 
his Book now under my chaftilement. 

e Who pretended to be a Prophet. See above, p. 235. 

f See ihe preceding Tract, p. 259. 

j An infamous fali'ehood, which he well knows I can confute.. 

£lSS£T.. 

Ik 



. A SECOND SCANDALOUS BOOK, fcc. 265 

In page 6 of his Book he is extremely incenfed, that, in the 
firft page of the " Vindication," the Whig is called Destruc- 
tion. His words are thele : " How dares that pert Incendiarv, 
" that rafcally fcribbler, call a meml>er of the noble order of the 
" Rump, a Deltroverr" Poor man ! he lias been fo long ufed to 
call men by nvtong names, that he cannot bear to hear them 
called by the right. 

He is grieved, p. 9, that Mr. Hoadly has met with fuch in- 
different treatment. He lavs himfelf out verv pathetically upon 
this occaiion, and declares, with fomething little lei's than an 
oath, " that he cleferv.es more than all the Writers on this lids 
«' the Cape." Here, indeed, Mr. Billet and I fhall fhake hands ; 
I think 1 am really of his opinion, and am io tar from being 
Mr. Iloadly's enemy, that I did not care if " he had his deferts 
" to-morrow." 

But here enfues a terrible melancholy frory, p. 13. He has 
not flept a wink lince he read the account in the " Vindication" 
of the late tumults ; he has tolled and rolled in his bed, like a 
fhip in the Bav of Bilcay, ever lince he found that the Diffenters 
are charged with pulling down Daniel's Mceting-houfe h . It 
will do die Reader good, when his Book is publiihed, to fee 
how he foams. His words, you will rind, are thele : " In the 
" name of wonder, what docs this infignificant blockhead mean ? 
" Becaufe I and a few Diilenters were among the Mob, only 
u to fee what they did, to mark faces, and give our teitimony ; 
** does the Rafcal fay we were in it r" 

Refined reaioning, indeed ! Barefaced Popery ! True unco- 
vered Jefuitihn ! "Among the Mob, but not in it I" I have 
feen a fleck of Crows, with a mixture of Pigeons, in a field of 
Peufe : thefe poor innocent Doves deftroy more than all the 
Crows ; and yet the Owner, when he finds them fhot, is apt to 
quarrel with the next Gunner, as an unreafonable Murtherer : 
" For thefe poor creatures only come out for the air; and their 
** curiofity leads them into the fields, and would no more deftroy 
" the Peafe which he lows on purpole to feed them, than a 
" DifTenter would pull down a Meeting-houfe which lie knows 
" is built on purpole for him." 

If this diftinction of Mr. Bidet's will hold good, then no 
Rogue taken out of any gang can be hanged. He will certainly 
h See above, p. 191. 

plead, 



»M A N A N S W E R T O 

^ lead, that he was among the Thieves, but not in the Robbc-rv. I 
hope that Mr. J of. Killers will take effectual care that this man 
oe punifhed ; who lias contrived fuch a wicked diftinftion, as, 
'• contrary to Her Majeily's crown and dignity,'"' will fave half 
fire Robbers in Great Britain. In fhort, this is fo Jefuitical, 
that 1 am pcrfuaded Mr. Bidet is in the interefl: of the Preten- 
der ; and I am confident Taunton and Watfon, and the reft of a 
fate Jury in Guild-Lull, would convicl him, and give the Queen 
loo f. damages. 

In the 17th page, you will find him vindicating the reputation 
of divers Clergymen, who are diftinguifhed by the nick-names 
of Ammalas and Heteroclites. " Bv this," fays lie, " the fool has 
•*• only a mind to tell the world that lie lias learnt his Greek 
*• and La'in Grammar; and, miwithixanding his (hew of learn - 
'* ing, does not know how to ! pell : for, in the " Vindication,* 
*«■ he fpslls Venture, Venter ; . This man was a Son by a (econd 
"Venter." He is extremely laviih for a page or two, in re- 
proaching and ex pofmg the ignorance of the Vindicator ; but it 
iw my humble opinion, that his own ignorance is made more 
manifeil thereby. I have been with Dr. Bentley, that great 
_/forand mighty lumen of the Republic!* of Letters k ; and, after 
Jong fcarch into numberlefs proper Books, he docs fay, that there 
is one authority for it, in an old Mariufcript of Chaucer; and that: 
he thinks it is as well one wav as the other. 

But prav, Reverend Sir, why all this noife about that word ; 
how do ycu know but that the man had a mind to (hew Ids 
Leuning here too; and (which I am furehe has authority for) 
clap a little Latin to his Engliih ; and intend, by fecomi Ve?ittr, a 
fecond Belly ; that this was a Son by & fecomi Belly ? Now, if you 
look, into the Diclionarv, von will find, that Venter is Latin for a 
Belly ; and if you afk your Nurfc, or Sarah Green ' of Iver, they 
will tell vouthat Sons uluallv proceed from that part ; and there- 
fore, take it winch way yoU will, I think the Vindicator is reclus 
■■>: curia ; and vou are an ignarant ill-tempered Critick, to make 
fo much noife about nothing. 

A good Author certainlv is the moft unhnppv creature under 
the Fuji : he is cxpofed to the world, like a fine heauty, as a thing 

i See above, p. 2c2. 

■- Ashe 9)!<;r tjrnf-lf 'p the Preface to his DiflertafTon 6;; Fhal.vis. 

» Se^ *•> o ..:.!' ibove, ;■■. 241 . 

only 



A SECOND SCANDALOUS BOOK,&:c. 267 

only to be gazed at and criticifcd upon : few look without envy; 
and all are glad to find ibme fault : the lead trifle is worked up 
to perfett uglinefs, and the mod malicious plume and triumph 
upon the performance j as if one blot in either, like a little 
leaven, blotted the whole. Few Readers, though we always give 
them the compliment of " Gentle, or Chridian," have the civility 
and good nature of Horace m , 

" — ubi pluia nitent in carmine, non ego paucis 
" Offendar maculis." 

This confuleration has hitherto kept me from obliging this 
ill-nature-d prejudiced world with any of my lucubrations ; and 
nothing could have prevailed upon me to do it now, but the 
novelty of this my undertaking. I am fo vain as to think that 
the furprize of it will give the world £0 much of the agreeable, 
as will defend me from any forced criticifms or drained cenfures ; 
in confidence of which, I proceed to that which will be the 
20 th page of Mr. Billet's Book. Here he begins to tell us how 
many good Pamphlets have been publifhed againft the Doftor, 
" particularly one by a Curate of Salop, and another by an in- 
" feriur Clergyman ; both," he fays, " very excellent in their 
" kinds ; and the people ought to be convinced by them, how 
" defpicable a wretch the Doctor is ; it is a great fcandal to the 
" Church," he fays, " that that clean Writer mould be buried in a 
" poor Curacy in Salop." I have inquired into that matter, and 
do find that his Curacy is but fmall ; but he holds the liberty 
of making Quail-pipes in commendam, which is a very confider- 
able addition to his livelihood ,- and the fuperiority of this his 
only excellence has recommended him to other great advantages. 
The Pamphlet by an inferior Clergyman I have feen ; and truly, 
I think, the Author will never delerve any other epithet. He is 
inferior to the lozvef degree ; and he may depend upon it he 
will never rife, till we have another Jeroboam, who will " make 
" the lowed of the people Priefts ot the High-places ;" which 
God of his great mercy avert ! 

In page 28, there is a moft horrible noife about " a great Fa- 
" ther of the Church." " It is a ihame," he fays, " that lo great 
" a man mould be ufed with fo little refptft ; that he fhould be 
"charged with falfe docfarine, who is the only dandard of true : 

"> De Arte Poetic a, ver. 351. 

" but 



i&S A X A N S W E R TO 

" but he hopes the late punifhment inflicted upon an impudent 
" highflying revilcr of a Bifhop, by thofe great examples of im- 
" partial Jufiice, Taunton ami VVatlon, and their gang, will 
** prevent the like for the future. " He is informed, he (avs, 
that this M pert Scribbler of the Vindication is a young Sprig 
** of Divinity, one of laft year's shoot of Lecturers ; and he won- 
«' ders what bufineL fuch little Sprigs have to lafh.*' 

That " Vindication" is afcribed to fo manv, that I believe no 
one but Dr. Sacheverell and the Printer can mew the man ; hut, 
if he is a Sf»'ig> or a laft year's Ihoot, no wonder, in rav mind, 
that he becomes a Rod, and does lam. This poor man is always 
giving fome material evidence, that he never learned anv thing ait 
School. One would think that a pretender to Weftminikr 
School, and in Bufbv's time too, fhould not wonder that " young 
" lhoots and laft year's fprigs" lafo. I am fure, I had fuch 
repeated demonftrations in that School that they would cut, 
that the very recollect ior. gives me /mart. His ignorance of 
.thefe fcholaftic tools of correction confirm die truth of what I 
have often heard, that be was bred in fome Fanatic Academy, 
in thefe, the Saints ufe no rods ; firft, becaufe lajhing the Flcfb, 
is a piece of Popery ; and becaufe anv difcovery of the pofte- 
riors mult be carnal; and particularly because the Scripture 
obliges them " not to look backwards," by the ftory of Lot's 
Wife ; and exhorts them to " heal up breaches" but never to 
unbutton them. To this they add, the Liberty of the Subject, 
Tyranny, Pcrfecution, Arbitrary Power ; and, in ihort, that lajh- 
ing is directly .contrary to all ..Revolution principles, as Mr. 
Lechmere " will at any time undertake to demonftrate to them. 

Thus you fee, Reader, the fatality of taking Scripture in the 
exact letter, without any regard to the context, to the occafion, 
or to the difference of fpelling, though there is none in the 
found; which is the qnhappiriefs of the Diffcnters, and fuch as 
has led them into many of their gtofs errors, and confirmed 
numbers in their obftinacy. It is a prodigious number of con- 
verts, which this avcrfion to lajhing, upon Scripture and Revo- 
lution principles, both which they think of equal authority, has 
made among our School-boys : our Youth is itrangely corrupted 
by it ; and the contagion will fpread continually, unlefs our 
governors think fit to enact, that all School-mailers fhall lafh. 

n See the Obfcrvations at the end of vol. Ill, 

t thei r 



A SECOND SCANDALOUS BOOK, ic. 2 6 9 

their Difciplcs, or all in general let it alone. Such an Aft I 
think as rcafonable and as necellary as that which forbids En- 
chantments, and captivating baits in I'igeon-houfes, that Pigeons 
may he left to an unbiallcd choice, and every Farmer have 
neighbours-fare. 

This, I hope, is enough to give the world a taftc of Mr. Billet's 
Second Performance. They know what they are to expect ; 
and 1 humbly conceive it will be a warning to all Printers, not 
to be too forward in working for him. If I had time or pa- 
tience, I would give you an account of feme other parts of his 
intended prefent to the world; but I proteil, when I am rakinu- 
in his works, 1 envy even the Gold-finden of this, metropolis : 
for the)', poor Rogues ! now and then meet v. irh fomething that 
is good : but I, poor unhappy I, have one continued unrewarded 
flench; am forced, without all hopes, to turn over and remove 
the wretched excrement of his head, which is worfe to me than 
that of his tail. 

But to conclude. When Mr. Billet publishes his Book, per- 
haps the Reader will not find the quotations I have here made 
out of it ; and from thence conclude, in the language of the Lord 
Clarendon , " that I am a perlon who do not think myfelt" 
"obliged to any precile veracity F." But, good, dear, gentle, 
Chriftian Reader, entertain ne fuch fevere thought of your poor 
Author ; but, he allured, they are nova in his Manufcript : and, 

° Edward Hyde, born Feb. 16, 1608, was made lord chancellor in 
1657; and created baron Hyde, vifcount Cornbury, and earl of Claren- 
don, in November, 1660. He died at Rouen, in France, Dec. g, 1675.— 
His celebrated" Hiftory of the Rebellion" is a (triking proof of his abi- 
lities. As Mr. Granger obferves, " He had all that knowledge of his 
" fubject, that ftrength of head, as well as integrity of heart, which arc 
u efiential to a good hiftorian. He has been, in fome inftances, accufed 
" of partiality ; but this proceeded from an amiable, perhaps an invinci- 
" ble, caufe; the warmth (f his loyalty ar.d frimdjh'ip. He particularly 
" excels in characters, which, if drawn with prccifion and elegance, are 
*' as difficult to the ivriters, as they are agreeable to the readers of hillory. 
<{ — He paints himleif, in drawing the portraits of others ; and we every 
" where fee the clear and exact comprehenfion, the uncommon learning, 
«• the "dignity and equity of the lord chancellor, in his character as a 
" writer." 

p In his " Hi/rory of the Rebellion." Kikg, 

if 



a 7 o AN ANSWER, &c. 

if they are not found in his printed Book, depend upon it, that, 
in pure fpitc to me, he has left them out, onlv to depreciate -my 
reputation with the Learned World, and fink that exalted cha- 
racter, which fuch a performance as this, propria Marts, without 
the leaft fubterraneous afliftance, mult undoubtedly reward me 
with ; though I know he loves his oivn Works entirely, he will 
blot out, fpoil, and pull them in pieces, as the Dillenters did their 
Meeting-houfes. To injure a Tory, and mifchief the Church — 
oil! he is of a very barbarous temper; the Dutch at Amboyna 
or the Spaniards in Peru were nothing to him ; he often declares, 
" he could eat the heart of a Tory with pleafure." I muft own, 
indeed, it is the only wav for a Wing to have a good honeft 
heart in his belly. But, thanks be to God and the Queen, " who 
u have not given us over as a prey unto their teeth," our 
Church is efcaped, as a Bird out of the fnare of the Fowler • 
the fnare is broken, and we are delivered. 

N° IV. 

TWO LETTERS from honeft TOM BOGGY., 
to the Rev. Mr.GODDARD, Canon of Windsor. 

LETTER I. 

Occafioned by a Sermon (on Pfal. exxvi, 2. 3.) preached 
in St. George's Chapel, dedicated to her Grace the 
Duchefs of Marlborough **. 

Reverend Sir, 

W.HEN I think of the great intimacy that has been be- 
tween ui, I wonder the Canon fliould print any thing 
without confulting honeft Tom. It is to be conlidered, how 

Printed in 4to, 1710. The title of it was, " On Cenfure." — 
Thorns (Joad<trd, M. A. was inflalled in a c^nonry of Windfor, May 26, 
1707. Me was alfo re<£tor of St. Bennet Finch, London. He pub- 
lifh?d a -cth of January Sermon, in 4to, 1703 ; and a Sermon " on the 
" Mercy of God to this Church and Kingdom," 8vo, 1710 } they were all 
re.-printed in 171 5, with three others, under the title of" Six Sermons 
"• on feveral Occafions," Svo. bufv 



TOM BOGGY'S FIRST LETTER. 271 

hufy the High-flyers are at prefent, ancl how fome of them of late 
have been introduced into the very frefevce, and are crept into 
offices ; how ambitious the Church is grown ,• and, fmce they 
have dared to ipeak for thernfelves, how little they reo-ard what 
they fay ot others, w ho are not of that Faction as by law eriabiiihed. 
You lay what you plgafe, againft " cenfuring, judging, de- 
" faming, detracting, calumniating:" yet people will goon ia 
their own way; they will not fuficr you alone to be what you 
defire, and own yourfelf to be <: one that tranfgreffes his owa 
<( rules, and e.vcrcifes the talent he condemns in others." The 
world is a cenforious world, an impertinent world, an inquifitirE- 
world ; and, it a man print a Sermon in defence of the Admi- 
niftration, and the queftion be alked, Where he had his Divinity ? 
And if they are told, at Hinkfey r and at Heddington % at Mo- 
ther Franklin's r and at Mother Shephard's 5 , they will be apt io> 
afk, What fort of Colleges thefe are ? or what fort of Profeflor- 
the Ladies may be ? Supposing, I fay, that our principles of go- 
vernment were laid at Rump Hall and Kidney Hall, they w iO 
cry, " l'r'ythce, Tom, what perfons of quality and difiinc.ic.r_ 
w live there ?" How fhall I look, when I tell them, they air. 
Ale-houfes ? You fay, if fuch things be fo, and fuch things \>c 
fo, " you will be content to be called a flanderer." Yeu will be 
content ? why, they will call you what they pleafe. You caouoc 
think what they call honeft Tom, who never yet did any harm 
to them. I own, that you are extremely happy in a Patronci*. 
Such an " obliging, peaceable, condefcending, ancl forgiving 
'.' temper," muft captivate manhiud. When a perfon appears ia. 
averfe to pride, malice, detraction, and cenlorioufncfs ; fo " re- 
'• ferved as to her own intercft," but fo communicative and tiif- 
fniive of good to all others; who cannot but wift, as you dsv 
that flic may " reap the fruits" of thefe good qualities ? Vv'i:h. 
■ reafon, ther<.rore, you value yourfelf up^.-n " her Grace's appro* 
** bation," and think yourfelf fafe under " fuch a protection."* 
But conlider, that her Majefty's approbation could not protect* 
Sermon preached in her oxvn Chapel, from the infuks of or- 
Hoadly, who will undoubtedly come to your Canonry, whea 
you, as you have now a very good proipccT, (hail be advanced to 
a, Bilhoprick. 

■ See the '*. Trsgi-comecly of Joan of Kedir.g'on/' vol. Ill p. 3. 
'- Characters in the abore Tn^lcotn'-^. 

rnough 



2 7 2 TO.MBOGGY'S FIRST LETTER 

Though I recommend the aptnefs of the Dedication; yet 1 
muft tell you, that your manner of ad chefs is clumfy and awk- 
ward. You fay, in the fifth page, that all you have faid fo far 
is " very well known to her Grace already." Then what need 
had you to trouble her with it : and what a compliment is it to 
her Grace, to tell her, that fhe knows as much of a Court as you 
<lo ! You mav remember, before you and I were two, how, one 
morning about fix, a large company was invited to a chamber, by 
a great picture hung out of the window ; and I, being afleep, and 
.dreaming nothing of politicks, was (hewn for a celebrated Tiger, 
who was called Boggy, from whence, and for other reafons, I 
had that denomination; ever fines which time, I could never 
think that Boggv, or a Bear, could become a fit Lap-dog for a 
Lady. 

But now to come to your Divinity ; there is one point, that I 
am doubtful whether you may not be in the wrong, and that is, 
initiating, or vainly nuijbing, that people " may be happy in the 
" next world, proportion ably to the blefhngs that eminently dif- 
** tinguifh them in this." For you do not know what may hap- 
pen yet : a perfon may chance to have this diftincYion a little 
eclipled here, without being a lofer by it hereafter. And a Lady 
may poflibly get in at the jJrait gate, though fhe drop her key in 
the broad way. 

Mv dear Friend, I am always afraid, when either you or I 
meddle with Learning or Scripture. What does the Printer 
mean, by putting thefe odd characters hoxaxatot in the firft 
line of your Sermon ? are they to be read ? or do they itand 
there only to fright folks ? I thought it proper to fend to honell 
Mac Bufh, who, you knoyv, was always efteemed to be a better 
Divine £ than you or I were j and he has very kindly feat me 
this anfwer : 

" Sir, 
How came you to fend to me for the meaning of a Text ? You 
know, that Chum Goddard and I never cared for meddling with 
controversy, nor much with Books ; we knew how to fpend our 
time better than in our itudy. But, fince he has printed a Greek 
■word, and you afk my opinion about it, why may not I turn 

« Mr. William Bufh printed a Sermon in 1692, and another in 

* 6 9S- 
aJ Crhick 



TO THE CANON OF WINDSOR. r 73 

Critick as well as he ? His Text is, James iii. i. " My brethren, 
" be not many Matters." He begins, " The word ^»c-zx^n t 
" which in my Text is tranftated Ma/fers, properly fignifies 
" Teachers; and the Apoftle means by it, fuch as affuine to 
" themfelveS a power of cenfuring and finding fault with every 
" 'thing that is not juft according to their own notion and model 
"of things;" and afterw.mls, explaining the context, "know 
" ing that we fhall receive the greater condemnation," fays lie, 
p. 8, " do vbu not prefume to ceniure or judge one another here, 
" becaufe you are all referved to a greater judgement hereafter." 
The word $i$x?K<xKoi, in my Lexicon, docs not fignify Cen- 
furers and Judges ; but, in a Book that I borrowed upon this oc- 
cafion, I found ^ctanacXoi fignifies the fame as vo^o^xanaM^ 
'* Teachers of the Law," i Titus i. 7. And this Epiftte wai 
written to the Jews, amongft whom Ralbi, or Mafler, was a title 
of great honour; and therefore many were forward to be Do&ors 
and Mafters, without ability to inftru£V. the people in the Law, 
or, perhaps fo much as to apprehend the true fenfe of the Text. 
Upon this account it is, that the Pharifees are condemned of their 
affectation of being called Rabbi, Rabbi : and the Difciples are 
warned, not to be called Mafters, Matt, xxiii. which paffages, 
as Chum fays^ give light to the Text, if he could but have feen 
it : for it is upon the fame account that St. James advifes the: 
Jews he writes to, not to affetr. this title ; becaufe it is often 
great arrogance in a man to fet up for a Teacher, efpecially be- 
fore he has been a Learner; and he mail, as the Context has it, 
" receive greater condemnation." That is, not as Chum ex- 
plains it, p^. 8, " Do you not prefume to cenfure, and judge one 
" another here> &c." But do not affect to be called Rabbi; have 
a care how you pretend to fet up for Teachers ; for you will, 
expofe yourfelves to " great condemnation," if you teach what 
vou do not praftife; and to greater contempt, if you pretend to 
teach what you do not underftand. This I take to be the mean- 
ing of the Text ; and I leave Chum Goddard to apply it to 
himfelf and his prefent Dilcourfe, both as to the underftandyig 
and the practice. I am, yours, &c. 

Mac Bush. 

But to proceed i I find, in this Sermon againft cenfuring and 

defaming, you beftow a great many ill names and reflections 

Vol. IK T ' upon 



174 TOM BOGGY'S FIRST LETTER 

upon one that I fuppofe to have been your Fellow Collegiate. 

How he was bugged and carejfed; with what triumph and accla- 
mations he was " conduced through part of the kingdom r ," I 
know not ; nor allow it is a contra dift 'ion to the Chrillian Reli- 
gion, or an affront to the Government, that a Clergyman fhould 
be well entertained in a journey taken upon his lawful occafio^ : 
but this I dare fay, that you have no fuch antipathv again* 
him, but that, from Banbury to Shrewfbury, you would have 
been glad to have dined with him. 

You have got a very hard word, that you Gall Aclminiitra- 
tion, which you very often repeat, without feeming to have 
any clear notion of it : but you join that word with her, with 
it, with them ; fo that I fee you do not know what gender or 
number it is of ; whether it belongs to a perfon or a thing ; to 
one, tofeiv, or to many.. But, whatever it is, you need not be in 
fuch a terrible fear about it ; for it can never f agger, when it 
has got two fuch fupporters as you and Squire Bicktrftaff u . 

I have but one word more to fay to you, my good Friend. Let 
us all forgive and forget ; it will be beft for us. We have all our 
blind fides ; and therefore, though other people laughed at it, and 
thought it a blunder, yet I always commended you for that Even- 
ing Prayer you ufed one morning before an auguft Aftembly, 
" Lighten our darknefs," &c. for which prayer, I find, we have 
every day more arid more occafion. 

Accept of this, as being, with great fmcerity, intended to do. 
you fervice, and fet yourfelf right with yourfelf. 

Yours entirely, 

Tom Boccy. 

LETTER IT. 

Occafioned by the late Panegyrick given Him by the 
Review, Thurfday, July 13, 17 10. 

" Dat veniam corvis, vexat cenfura columbas." 

My good old Frtend ! 

TH E fame clay my laft came to your hand, there was pub- 
iimed a Review, which recommends your Sermon to the 
t See above, p. 242. 
»i The name aflumed by Mr. Steele, as author of The Tatler. 

publick 



TO THE CANON OF WINDSOR. 175 

publick as " an excellent Difcourfe, and well worth the pcrufal 
" of every Clniftian Reader." 

I fee now the force of your arguments and eloquence, when 
fuch a pen as that of the Review, fo ufed to fatire, can be tur- 
ned to a panegyrick in your favour, and a Diffenter be brought 
to chime in with a Churchman. 

At fn-ft, I could not well imagine how you and Mr. Bickerftaff 
and the Review fhould ever come to agree, when they are daily 
paffing cenfure upon all the world, and you are at the fame time 
declaiming againft it. But I find you have qualified yourfelf 
for their company, by a pallage in your Sermon which I obferved 
to you in my laft, " That you particularly exercife the talent 
" of cenfure yourfelf, and tranfgrefs the rules you fet to others." 
So that now it may be faid there is a triumvirate of Cato's in 
Great Britain. 

I find you have all three made yourfelves fo far Privy Coun- 
fellors, as to advife her Majcfty how flie may belt difpofe of her 
Hereditary Right. I fhall not concern myfelf with the other 
two Gentlemen; but your reafoning upon the point is eafily an- 
fwered : you fay, that " a mighty zeal fhewn for her Majefty's 
" Hereditary Right cafis a reflection on the a£l of Settlement," 
Ded. p. 4. And is it not as true, that a mighty zeal for the act 
of Settlement cafls a reflection on her Majefty's Hereditary 
Right? Perhaps you, that are raw in politicks, may fee this ar- 
gument in a clearer light when it is applied to yourfelf: no 
doubt but you have a good right and title to your Canonry, by 
vour learning, eloquence, and other merits ; you have likewife 
what one may call a Parliamentary Right. Now, if you had 
heard this laft right fo much infilled upon as I have done lately, 
you would have been apt to think that people fufpe£ted youf 
other titles. 

In my laf£, I meddled with little more then your Dedication, 
and faid a word or two to your Text, which was more than you 
did. Give me leave now to go a little further, and lay before 
you fome odd points in your main Difcourfe. 

I believe there is fcarce any man of figure befides yourfelf, in 

Great Britain, that would have dared, in a public Difcourfe, to 

have ufed thefc words, " the fudden and lamentable Revolution." 

Are fudden and lamentable, at this time of day, fit epithets for a 

T z Revolution? 



a 7 6 TOM BOGGY'S SECOND LETTER 

Revolution ? I verily believe, in my confcience, that you meant 
them concerning Job : but, feeing there was no mention of a 
Revolution in his Hiftory, as you call it, what occafion was there 
for it in your Sermon ? You meant it innocently, or may he 
meant nothing by it ; but what then ? If you were not under 
fucb protection and infucb company as you are, this would have 
raifed great fufpicions againft you, and might with good manage- 
ment have been improved into a high crime againft the Govern- 
ment. 

I mention this only as an indifcretion. Now let us fee fome-of 
your ftrong rcafoning againft rebuking in publick. You lay it 
down, that " it lias been feldom known that any good has been 
" done upon a guilty perfon, by publiihing his crimes, and pro- 
" claiming his infirmities. Sharp and feve'fe methods will rather 
u harden and confirm him in his wickednefs, than reclaim him 
*' from it," p. 14. 

I am afraid, dear Friend, that, bv thefe general propofitions of 
yours, you feem to encounter all laws, both divine and human, 
ecckfiaftical and civil. I own that I am not very well verfed in 
thefe Laws, nor yet in the Prophets ; but I have heard that fome 
of them, as Ifaiah, Jeremiah, Hofea, and Jonah, in particular, 
were ordered to do fomething contrary to thefe propofitions j and 
to pitblijh and proclaim, both to Prince and People, thofe fins 
which were like to bring down God's judgements upon them : 
and, as I remember, the King of Nineveh and his Nobles (who. 
might probably be as great as ours) proclaimed a Faft, and put 
on fackclofh, and by their repentance faved that great city, which 
otherwife in forty days time had been brought to deifruction. 

Peflnps you may fay, thefe Ninevites were Heathens ; but die 
Jews did not repent becaufe the Prophet Jeremy publijbed and 
proclaimed their iniquities ; and were rather " hardened and 
** confirmed in their wickednels." It may be fo ; but I do not 
remember that, for thefe reproofs and cenlures, any feandat or 
revilings were thrown upon the Prophet Jeremy by any of the 
other Prophets, except the falfe ones. Therefore, allowing that 
people will harden their hearts, yet I do not find that the nccefiity 
of leaving off preaching can be inferred from that argument, un- 
lefs, becaufe it is faid we muft not " do evil that good may come 
«' of it," you conclude from thence, that we muft not do good 
left evil come of it. 

Well ! 



TO THE CANON OF WINDSOR. a 77 

Well ! if reproof muft not be in publick, and " throwing ge- 
" neral reflections will never do any particular man good," p. 15 ; 
how then mull the proceeding be ? Why we arc told, that " a 
" private admonition will be more inftrumental to his recovery !" 

But, if wickednefs may appear barefaced, and truth muft come 
in diiguife, or under covert, 1 fhould be defirous to know how 
this may be done to the greateft edification ; though at prefent I 
hardly believe it practicable. 

As, fuppofe there is a careful and fufpicious Ufurer in your 
Parifh, and you muft not reprove him out of the pulpit for his 
covetoufnefs ; do you think, he will let you into his Counting- 
houie to do it ? 

If it be not fo proper, notwithstanding the aft of parliament, 
to preach againft the murder of King Charles the Firft upon the 
Thirtieth of January, left fome tender-hearted people mould 
take it amifs, and think you meant to fcandalize them, or re- 
flect upon their principles, their anceftors, or fomebody elfe, and 
fo you may give offence to weak brethren : do you think, if you 
went privately to the Calves-head Club, with a deflgn to inftruft 
them ; that, upon the fight of your Scarf, Circinglc, and Callock, 
you would be able to gain admittance ? May bcyott might, if 
you lent in your name. 

But, as far as I can find by thefe new rules, a Minifter, upon 
the Fifth of November, fhould let alone his Sermon, and at 
night take up his dark-lantern, go his rounds with the Watch- 
men, and appear more afraid of doing his duty than Guido 
Faux was of committing his treafon. 

After your general argument againft " public cenfure," you 
come to your chief point, and fhtw of what ill confequence it is 
when applied to great men. " When great men are reflected on. 
" what a difcouragement is it to them to proceed in their labours 
" for the public good ! what a continual trouble and vexation it 
"gives them!" p. 18. Yes, indeed! who knows but they may 
be fo " dilcouraged in their great labours," that they will no 
longer be at the pains of receiving five, ten, or twenty thoufand 
pounds a quarter ! who knows but they may be fo z>exeJ at laft, 
that they will rciign their places ! and " what fhall we do then?" 
Woc'be to that preacher that has fo vexed them ! 

I was going on with rriy obfervations upon fome other pafTages 

in your Dilcourfe ; viz. " How far we may or may not rcprov? 

T 3 " by 



j 7 8 TQM BOGGY'S SECOND LETTER 

t" by conjeclure, and romantically encounter faults that are ne 
" where hut in our own hrains : how fpiteful adverfaries may 
'• remove perfons from the degree of favour they are in, &c." 
p. 1 6. But I was interrupted by the Penny-poft-man, who 
brought me the following verfes under cover. 1 will not rob 
you of the fatisfaction of feeing how much you are honoured by 
an Author of this character : 

" To Windfor Canon, his well-chofen Friend, 
" The juft Review does kindeit greeting fend. 
" I've found the man by nature's gift defign'd 
" To pleafe my ear and captivate my mind, 
" By fympathy the eager palTions move, 
" And ftrike my foul with wonder and with love .' 
" Happy that place, where much lefs care is had 
" To fave the virtuous, than protc<£l the bad ; 
** Where Pallors mud their flubborn Flock, obey, 
■' Or that be thought a fcandal which they fay : 
u For, mould a fin, by fome grand foul belo\'d, 
*' Chance with an aukward z.eal to be itprov'd,' 
" And tender confeiente meet the fatal cutfe, 
" Of hardening w by reproof, and growing worfe : 
u When things to fuch extremities x are brought, 
*' 'Tis not the Sinner's, but the Teacher's, fault. 
" With Great Mens' wickednefs y, then, reft content, 
" And give them their own leiiure to repent; 
" Whilft their own head-ilrong will alone mult curb them, 
'" And nothing vex 2 , or venture to difturb them, 
" Left they fhould lofe their favour a in the court, 
" And no one but themielves be forry for't. 
•' Were I in panegyriek vers'd like you, 
M I'd bring whole offerings to your merit clue. 
" You've gain'd the concjueft ; and I freely own, 
" Diffenters may by Chuichmen be out-done. 

" Though once we fcem'd to be at fuch a dillance : 
" Yet both concenter in Divine rehftance : 

°*' Both teach what Kings mult do when Subjects fight, 
<( And both difclaim Hereditary Right. 



• GodJard's Sermon, p. 14. * P, 16. 7 P. 12. 14. 

P. jS, 3 p, , 2r 1 



"By 



} 



TO THE CANON OF WINDSOR, i^ 

" By Jove's command, two Eagles took their flight, 
" One from the Eaft, the iburce of infant light, 
" The other from the Wed, that bed of night : 
" The birds of thunder both at Delphi meet, 
■** The centre of the world, and Wifdom's feat. 
u So, by a Power not decent here to name, 
41 To one fixt point our various notions came. 
" Your thoughts from Oxford and from Windfor flew, 
" Whilft Shop and Meeting-houfe brought forth Review. 
u Your brains fierce Eloquence and Log'uk tried, 
" My humbler ftrain choice Socks and Stockings cried ; 
*' Yet in our common principles we meet, 
•" You finking from the Head, I riving from the Feet. 

" Pardon a hafty Mufe, ambitious grown, 
" T' extol a merit far beyond his own. 
" For, though a moderate Painter can't command 
" The ftroke of Titian's or of Raphael's hand : 
" Yet their tranfeendent works his fancy raile, 
*' And there's foine fkill in knowing <wbat to praife." 

R. V. W. 

July 14, 1 7 10. 

Unlefs I hear of vou from the Review or Obfervator b , I (hall 
trouble you no more till you are commanded to print again. 

I am, 

Yours entirely, 

TOM BOGGY. 

b At that time written entirely by Ridpath, a Scotchman ; of whom, 
•fee above, p. 1S3. Tutchin, who was his predecefTor, began that work, 
April 1, 1702 j and continued it till his death, Sept. 13, 1707, in the 
44th year of his age. Jn fume verfes on his death, he is called " Captain 
" Tutchin." 



T4 RUFINUSj 

i*.. 



C is© ] 
R U F I N U S ; 

O R, 

AN HISTORICAL ESSAY 

O N 

THE FAVOURITE MINISTRY 1 . 

IT is faid of Henry IV, of France, great grandfather to her pre- 
fent Majefty of Great Britain, that he was tin grand Roi fans 
Favori, a great King without a Favourite. And a more glorious 
character cannot be given of a prince : for it fuppofes him fuf- 
ficient to aft by his own counfels, and to controul his own 
paflions ; which Machiavel calls " the perfection of human wif- 
*• dom;" and which only can anfwer that great end of govern- 
ment, " the impartial distribution of favour and juftice." 

But thofe reigns have ever proved unfortunate, to fay no 
worfe, where princes have implicitly refigned themfelves into the 
1 lands of Favourites and Minions, the corrupters of government, 
and the evil genii of crowns. 

The Greek and Roman Hiftorians every where inform us, 
that they have been found grievances in all ages j and that thefe 
faTfe friends have fullied the glory of princes more than the rank- 
eft and moft inveterate enemies of Monarchy. Some, we read, 
after being raifed from nothing to the greatelt honours and riches, 
have had the brutality, in the midft of favours, to attempt the 
murder of princes with their own hands b . Others have banifhed 
them, from their glorious metropolis and the feat of univcrfal 
empire, into little defart iilands. Others have impriloned them 
in their own palaces, and produced them only now and then, to 
lerve a particular turn, or, like pageants, to grace a mimic tri- 
umph. Others, after deceiving \v:hl emperors' into aSts of tvranny, 
fi.ive had the infolence to give them opprobrious language, for 

b Written in 1711, and printed in 1712. It is evidently a fevere 
fatire on the Duke of Marlborough and his adherents. 

h See '* Original Papers, containing the Secret Hiftory of Great Britain, 
"from the Reftoration to the Accefiion of the Houfe of Hanover, by 
" James Macpherfon, ef<i." vol.1, p. 2Z0, 

offering 



R U F I N U S, fcc. tti 

offering to debate with them, or for -(hewing any reluctance 
when they were compelled to fign fanguinary and unnatural 
edicts again ft their fubjefts. But of all the favourites that arc 
branded to pofterity by the Ancients, for I meddle not with mo- 
dern inftances, there is none, whofe ftory, fome circumftanccs 
confidered, is better worth our prefent recollection than that of 
Rufinus. 

It were indeed to be wifhed that the Writers of his age had 
delivered down the tranla&ions of it with more certainty : but 
the fhort Effav I have here drawn from the moft authentic of 
them, imperfect, as it is, will furnifli more folid and ufeful re- 
flecnons. 

Rufinus then was a native of Gaul ; but fo mean and obfeure, 
that none of the Hiftorianshave been able to deduce his pedigree; 
and we find little mention of him till he was made Captain of 
the Guards to Theodofius the Great. It is probable, his begin- 
ning in the military fervice was much lower, and more fuitable to 
his extraction ; but by what ways and means he was advanced, 
from them into this poft, we are not told. Perhaps they were too 
flagrant to be named : however that be, he at lall became premier 
IVIinifter and fole I'avourite. 

He had all the endowments and advantages Nature could give 
him, except that of birth. His perfon, according to Nicephorus, 
was tall and beautiful; his temper compofed and iedate; his ad- 
drefs fmooth and affable ; his cor.verfation fubtle and infinuating ; 
which fitted him wonderfully for the intrigues of a Court : for 
his elevation quite turned his head, ziu], infiead of making a 
right ufe of it, by behaving himfelf with gratitude and acknow- 
ledgement to his prince, with regard and decency to his fuperior?, 
he grew treacherous to the one, and iniolent to the other. He 
began to forget his original; to neglect his old friends; to fwell 
with an opinion of his own fufficiency : to talk loudly of hit 
fer-vices and defirts; to flatter his ht-.ilmion and avarice with un- 
bounded profpects ; and, in the c\\t\ t to entertain droughts even 
of the Sovereign Power : in order to accomplifh which, he found 
it necelTary to remove mep of relolution, worrh, and probity, 
from the court, and fill their places with l'uch as were of more 
moderate, obfequious, and ductile principles. 

The firft attempt he made of this kind was upon Promorus, 
ane of Thcodofius's Generals, who, a little before, had defeated 

body 



iSx RUFINUS; OR, AN ESSAY 

a body of Barbarians, and obtained a fignal and wonderful vidtorv, 
which greatly eclipfed the glcry of Rufinus; which, had it 
been gained by him or any of his creatures, would have been 
diftinguifhed with grants and titles. But Promotus found very 
different effects from it : he was not only denied favour at court, 
but envied and traduced there, for having received the thanks 
and congratulations of the people on his return to Conftantinoptc. 
All this merit could not defend a brave and fuccefsful officer from 
the vile infinuations and calumnies of a jealous Favourite. He was 
a man of a fiery enterprizing genius, forward in action, and 
fcarlefs in danger; fo far confeious of his own fervices, as to 
require juftice, and to refent injuries. Zozimus calls him, 
' A.-j^x inT^iTX y.t* tfreiYlova, Sec a man above the temptation 
of money, who ferved his country and his prince without mean 
and fordid views. 

Tatianus and Proclus, men in great pofts and of a confidera- 
blc family, were the next eye-fore to him ; their juft and im- 
partial execution of their offices was a conftant reflection on his 
evil adminiitratior. He therefore took care to mifreprefent them 
too to the Emperor ; and in a fhort time, by his faHe accufa- 
tions and other perfidious artifices, accomplifhed their ruin, to die 
great detriment of the public, which loft a Patriot in the one, 
and a General in the other. 

But his malice was not confined to Jingle perfens : he knew 
how to depopulate whole cities, and was the advifer of thar in- 
human and barbarous maffacre of Theffalonica, wherein not lefs 
than feven thoufand perfons were facrificed ; for, to promote 
any defign, mens lives were of little confid'eration with him. 
It was on this occafion St. Ambrofe excommunicated Theodofius, 
and made him fenfible of the enormous crime he had committed, 
in gratifying an unchriftian revenge with the effufion of fo mu*li 
blood. But Rufinus, who had been the caufe of all, was har- 
dened in impenitence, and infulted the emperor's devout con- 
trition ; which provoked St. Ambrofe to rebuke him with the 
indignation he deferved. This excellent and truly primitive Bi- 
ihop was not afraid of exerting his authority againft the enemies 
of Religion, though never fo great and powerful. And it is 
much to be lamented, that his glorious example mines at lo great 
■4 diftance as to have loft all infiuer.ee on many of his Succeffors, 
.s-ho have acted with a nearer view to their temporal advantages 



ON THE FAVOURITE MINISTRY. z$ s 

ftian to their spiritual Iruflt ; and have not only given up the 
ceremonies and difciplinc of the Church, but, under a more ex- 
tensive charity, have profiituted her ejfential and fundamental 
rights to defigning Atheiftical Statefmcn ; and that too, fome- 
times, in oppofition to the pious intentions of Religious Princes. 
But, notwithstanding all their pretended meeknefs and low fub- 
miffions to Laymen in authority, they have frequently betrayed 
their love of dominion over the Clergy, and, to gratify their re- 
venge, have not fcrupled to Stretch their Visitatorial Power into a 
more than Papal Tyranny. But what is moft wonderful, and 
worthy our obfervation, is, ThcodoSius all along retained a good 
opinion of Rufinus, and at his death appointed him Governor of 
his fon Arcadius ; which, as it is the greateft blcmiih on his 
character, fo it is a clear demonstration, that no prince can l>e 
fecure from the poifon of fuch vipers, when once admitted into 
his bofom : for Theodofius, notwithttanding the detraSIion of the 
Pagan Historians, who every where traduce Christianity and the 
profeffors of it, is juftly recommended as a pattern of kingly 
virtues, and m moft things defer ving the imitation of all Chriftian 
princes, efpecially in his grt;.; regard to the honour and difciplinc 
of the Church. 

Rufinus, after the death of Theodpfius, was in reality emperor 
of the EaSt, and Arcadius only nominally fo, though a prince 
adorned with every virtue, of a foul truly royal, of an heart en- 
tirely Roman. He 3cted without controul, difpofed of all of- 
fices, put in and turned out, pardoned and punished, at pleafure. 
He was, in a word, pofielled of unlimited power, and exercifed it 
at large over the nobility and the populace, who were now both 
miferably degenerated from the virtue and glory of their an- 
ceftors. The dignity of the Patrician order was in a great mea- 
fure extinguished ; the Plebeians rights and privileges wer« 
grofsly invaded ; the laws of the Twelve Tables, the Magna 
Charta of the Romans, were no longer held facred, but openly 
and fcandaloufly violated ; the conftiiution, and even the Roman 
name itfelf, was in danger of being totally abolifhed. 

The Senate, that is, the majority of it, was become little better 
than a colleSl'ton, or aflembly, of Penfioners, Preferment-hunters, 
Boy-politicians, Sham-patriots, Petty-traitors, and Court-flaves, 
like the members of the prelent Parliament of France, being di- 
verted of their original Senatorial) authority ; had loll all S'enSe 

•f 



i*4 KUFINUS; OR, AN ESSAY 

of juitice, all freedom of voting, all that force of eloquence, that 
ipirit of liberty, which animated the old Romans, and made them 
the terror of arbitrary and tyrannical power. No proceedings 
were too violent, no decrees too unjufr, no profecutions too ian- 
guinary, no refolutions too abfurd, no actions, no management^ 
too profligate for them, when they were executing the commands 
of tlieir great lord and mafter Rufinus. They were grown 
odious in the eyes of the people, and contemptible in the opinion 
*f him they ferved ; whofe policy was, firit, to make men pro- 
fUmtc their characters to his drudgery, that he might afterwards 
tlifcard them at pleafure, without apprehensions of danger from 
their intercfts. 

Tiberius had not more reafon to laugh at the bafe compliances 
of the Senate in his time, when he cried out, O homines ad far- 
<vilutem paratos ! " O beafts of burthen !" than Rufinus had at 
the uavifh condefcenfions of this. But it may be urged, in apo- 
logy for the former, though Tacitus makes a very fevere re- 
flection upon them, Scilicet etiam ilium qui public am l:'<ertatem 
voile t tarn frojeila fervientium patientla ta-debat, " Such abjeft 
- contented flaves were naufeous, even to a Tyrant :" and Sueto- 
nius gives them no better character ; rrecantem fenatum, et 
prtteumbentem Jibi ed genu*, awliguis refponfu et callida cunclatione 
fufpendens, " The Emperor vouchfafed not to anfwer the flatter- 
" mg addreffes of the Senate, meanly begging and profirate at 
f lis feet :" J fay, it may be urged, in apology for the former, 
that what they did was in obedience to their fovereign ; where- 
as the latter acted in vile fubmiffio;i to their fellow-fubjec~t. 

Nor was the Eculefiaitical polity Iefs corrupt than the Civil: 
for, though the Church had at this time a St. Ambrofe, and 
fotne few more Fathers, both in the Eaft and Weft, who were 
diampions, and ready to be martyrs, for her j vet the greater 
number of her Paftors began to depart from the purity of her 
jloftrines, to renounce her homilies, to relax her canons, to en- 
courage all forts of erroneous opinions, to preach up the fierce 
and unchriftian principles of rebellion, inftead of the meek and 
pacific precepts of the Gofpel. It is eafy to conceive what effect 
,'uch indulgences had, in an age inclinable to Hereiv and Schifm. 
Men grew wanton in matters of faith ; every one almoft was 
iar forming a creed of his own; which, however ridiculous and 
.abfurd, blafphernous and prophay, never wanted, profelytes. 

The 



ON THE FAVOURITE MINISTRY. a* £ 

The Free-thinkers, as they flyled themfelves, treated the 
Prieflhood with the utmoft contempt, and denied the fanftion 
and eificacy of their office. They ridiculed the myjleries of 
Chrifrianity, as nothing but mere conjuration and prieji 'craft ; and 
publifiud, without the leaft cenfme, their undigejled irreligious 
Libels, ftolen from old heretical Authors, and penned with more 
affu ranee than argument. The inferior revolting Clergy, in 
defiance of their duty and canonical obedience, reviled and ma- 
ligned the orthodox Bifliops, and were openly rewarded and ap- 
plauded for it; wliilft the tru« fons ef the Church were im- 
peached and perfecuted, for detecting the perils of thefe falfi bre- 
thren c , and afferting the caufe of her with a fearlefs and primi- 
tive zeal. The Anans, and fome of the" more conliderable fefts, 
a* Socrates Scholafticus informs- us, were become prefumptuous 
enough 10 demand , not a toleration only, but a public ejlablijbment 
of their vvorihip, and hoped to raife themfelves on she ruins of 
the Church, 

But Arcadius, left they mould have expectations of favour 
from the throne, took care to publifh feveral edi£b, ftill extant ia 
the codes, againft them ; and to declare -to the world, that as he 
had been educated in the true Jaith, fo he would firmly adhere to- 
it, and countenance only thofe of his own perfuajion. However, 
Rufinus, knowing his wicked adminiftration could not be fup- 
ported without fubduing the Church as well as the State, gave 
an infolent proof of his power, fuperfeded thefe promifes, and 
forced the young emperor for a time to retract his roval word. 
He pretended, that " the Hereticks and Sehifmaticks were too 
" numerous, and confequently too formidable, a body of men, to 
*• be difobliged in th& prefent juncture of affairs ; that a rigorous 
«' enforcement of the laws would be called a peifccution; and 
• that a reign of moderation was more glorious than a reign of 
" jufticc." 

Thus Rufinus every where interpofed, every where prevailed} 
and his ambition for the prefent feemed fully fatisfied ; but his 
avarice knew no bounds. This was his predominant paffion, 
which had for fome time lain concealed, and now M length 
broke out like a flame pent-in. He made hjs power entirely lub- 
fervicnt to it : all preferments, ecclefiajlicai, civil, and military, 

« Alluding to the title of Dr, Sacheverell's famous Serr.an. 

«Wrs 



s»6 RUFINUSi OR, AN ESSAY 

wer; publicly ex pofed to fale, and even the determinations of 
private property were bought and fold. He had informers and 
evidences in conflant pay, who were inftrufted, on occafion, to 
Jnvear any thing, to accufe any body ; to prove this man a Luna- 
rick, and that an Ideot : by which means he had the lives and 
fortunes of all the fubjetts of the empire at his command. In a 
word, his whole adminiftration was one continued aft of rapine 
and plunder; and though it lafied but a few years, he had, by 
his grants from Arcadius, contributions from the Provinces, and 
extortions from the People, heaped together fo immeafurable a 
mafs of wealth, that he grew too bulky fo; - a fubject, and became 
dangerous to the Crown. 

But, notwithflanding his immoderate love of money, he had his 
extravagances, which appeared chiefly in the magnificence of hiy 
buildings : for he erefted the moft fumptuous and ftately fabrick 
in the whole empire ; and lb vaft was the expence of it, that the 
world, with fome reafon, fufpe&ed he had recourfe to the imperial 
coffers, whilft works of greater importance flood frill for want 
of money. Hiftorians have left us no particular defcriptions of this 
houfe ; only Sozomen fays in general, that it was an immenfe 
and coflly fabrick, built to perpetuate his name and family. 
But it happened to him, as it has fince done to Wolfey d and 
others in England, that what he defigned the monument of his 
greatnefs and glory proved one occafion of his difgrace and ruin. 

He affe&ed nothing more than a perpetual fmoothnefs and af- 
fability in his outward behaviour j but underneath there lurked a 
perfecuting and revengeful foul : I may add alfo, the trial and 
impeachment of Lucianus, defcribed by Zofimus and others, 

<* Cardinal Wolfey pofTefled, for fome years, all that power and gran- 
deur which could be enjoyed by the greateft favourite, and moft abfolute 
miniiter, under an arbitrary prince. After he was created cardinal and 
•onftituted legate (Sept. 7, 151 5), he exercifed as abfolute a power in the 
ehurch, as he did before in the ftate. His abilities were equal to his 
great offices ; but thefe were by no means equal to his ambition. He was 
the only man that ever had the afcendant over Henry ; but his friendfhip 
for him did not *' exceed the Jove of women :" the violence of that paffion 
■wHi not only too flrong for the ties of friend/hip, but of every law human 
aaJ divine. Had the cardinal not oppofed it, he had perhaps been fafe. 
He fell into difgrace loon after the king's marriage with Anne Boleyn - T 

-jtni di<"d, in his 60th year, Nov. 29, 1530- 

black 



ON THE FAVOURITE MINISTRY, ztf 

black, as any of bis cruelties, though it proved fatal to himfelf ^ 
for it raifed a general difcontent and clamour throughout the 
empire, which was not, in all his fubtlety, ever actually to be 
compofed. The people of Antioch, where Luc.ianus refided, 
had him in great elleem and veneration ; and when they found to 
what extremities Ruhnus was proceeding, they committed feveral 
outrages, demanding juftice, and threatening revenge. Rufmus 
was not a little furprized, to find his old friends the populace 
turned upon him j and, afi'uming a fpirit of Patriotifm, he en- 
deavoured to appeafe their rage, by pretending that Lucianm 
fhould.be ufed with tendernefs and humaniry,\vhen at the fame time 
he was actually dtfigning his life. Such is the moderation, fuch 
the merer, of Politicians and Statefmen ! But Lucianus wanted 
not an advocate in the midft of his fufferings, wliich, to his im- 
mortal honour, when others meanly Jbrunk, dared undertake the 
caufe of pcrfecuted innocence. 

The riot on one hand was condemned, as no lefs a crime than 
treafon ; on the other, it was excufed, as a juft remonjiraace and 
a cafe of necejfity : however, to pafs it over, he had now formed a 
defign to marry his daughter to Arcadius. But Fortune, that bad 
hitherto denied him nothing, forfook him here ; and Stilico, by 
his agents at Conllantinople, found means of recommending an- 
other lady, and engaged the emperor's affections before Rufmus 
had the lead fufpicion of it. 

After this, his power began vihbly to decline : the people freely 
arraigned his mi] managements, expofed his corruptions, and called 
aloud for refutation and jujiice. Some uttered bold fpeeches in 
public affemblies ; others wrote invectives againft him; and 
even his own flaves defended him with lefs zeal and vigour 
than ufual. 

Stilico was too wife and vigilant a Statefman, not to improve 
this opportunity to the beft advantage. He was of a more ex- 
tended genius, and better {killed in fmeffes, the ftratageou and 
myfteries of a deep and intricate policy, than Rufmus himfelfi 
he was the man in the world moft capable of turning his own 
weapons upon him, and making the means of his advancement 
the inftrument of his ruin ; which he the more eafily effected 
by the affiitance of the Lady who by his interefi: had been fo 
highly preferred, and who now reigned abfblute in the heart of 
Arcadius. She employed her whole influence in fivoux of him i 

and 



*8ft RUFINUS; OR, AN ESSAY 

and was abundantly convinced, that her own happinefs, as well 
as his, depended entirely on the iuppreffion of Rufinus and his 
family : he could expect nothing hut revenge and blood from a 
difgraced -zx\& fupplanted Statefma'n; nor fhe any thing Iefs from 
a female difappointed Rival. Such enemies were not to be ap- 
peafed, but deitroyed. 

All this while Rufinus obferved their motions with a ftrict 
and watchful eye : he was fo confeious of his own guilt, fo jea- 
lous in his nature, that lie apprehended every thing from a Party 
which was now coming into full power and authority : a Party, 
though hitherto fmaller in number than his own, yet always 
more confiderable in efreem, being compofed of men of the 
firft rank, the largcft properties, and the greateft abilities ; 
whom no motives could induce to acquiefce tamely under the 
grievances and calamities of their country, who could not without 
honor reflect on the conlequences of an endangered Church, a 
fubverted conftitution, an exhaufted treasury, and a perpetual 
war; who prcferved the principles of religion, honour, and 
loyalty, in the worfl of times, Cven under his molt detejiabh 
Minijiry. 

But he was not more mortified with the apprehenfions of his 
own ruin, than with the thoughts of Stiiico's grandeur and re- 
putation ; and refolvcd, if pofiible, not to part from his power* 
without giving fome concuifion to the (late, wliich he conceived 
would molt naturally be effected by calling in Foreign Powers j 
and therefore made a fecret league and uriiSt alliance with the 
Goths, Huns, and Alans. But his chief dependance was on 
Alaric the Goth, a prince and hero of great renown, who had 
commanded the Confederate Barbarians inhabiting the Banks of 
the Danube, in that memorable victory obtained near the Julian 
Alps over the ufurpers of the Wellein Empire on the death of 
Yalentinian. It was this Alaric who afterwards diftinguifhed 
his military virtues by many fuccefsful triumphs in Italy, and 
whom the Hiftorians have tranfmitted down to poiterity as a more 
than fecond Hannibal, in conquering and ciemolifhing Rome 
itfelf. 

Matters thus fettled abroad, he wanted not inftruments enough 
at home, ready to do their part in any hardy and defperate cn- 
terprize. Of thefe Antiochus was the chief; one more able to 
difturb and annoy, than to direct and govern ; and lb naturally 

bent 

3 



on the favourite ministry. 2S9 

bent on {edition and mifchief, that he is called IJovn^icci; i^yacto> t 
" the engine of iniquity." Rufinus had for ever engaged him to 
his intercity by making him Proconful, or what we now call Lord 
Lieutenant, of Greece ; where he ravaged and plundered all lie- 
fore him. There were many, particularly Gerontius, whom he 
had alio obliged, by putting under his care the Streights of Ther- 
mopylae, which, lying on the Gulph of Ziton, gave him the 
command of the fea. Gerontius was a man of lefs abilities than 
Antiochus, but equally zealous to promote all pernicious and 
treafonable practices. 

This attempt not only rouZed Stilico's indignation, who had 
conftant intelligence of the molt minute fprings and progrelTes of 
it } but, with good reafon, gave great offence to thofe who had 
any regards to the common fafety. And what a deplorable cii- 
cumftance is a nation in, when its chief Minifters fly to Foreigners 
on every approach of danger ; betray their truftaj barter away 
the conftitution of their country, and, in defiance of their natural 
prince, enter into rafh and rebellious treaties ! 

Here I may, without much digreffion, obferve, that, where 
Foreigners have been too freely admitted into any fettled go- 
vernment, they have feldom failed to alter the manners and reli- 
gion of the people, and the nature and frame of the conftitution ; 
which is the greater argument againft general naturalizations, 
when we confider that the fcum and dregs, the vagabonds and 
beggars of other countries generally take the benefit of fuch 
laws. Methods that are proper to advance a ftate in its begin- 
ning and infancy are often pernicious to it in its full growth 
and perfection. Rome owed its rife to the admilnon of the 
Sabines, and its ruin to the admiilion of the Goths. 

But Rufinus was now tranfported with the hopes he enter- 
tained of fupplantir.g Stilico, and dreamed of nothing lefs than 
a crown : for he was not content to oppofe him only, but, ac- 
cording to the ufual gratitude of Favourites, he had of late en- 
deavoured to lefien Arcadius in the opinion of his people ; to 
reprefent him as a poor weak prince, unqualified for the bulinefs 
of empire ; and, by fcattcring vaft fums of money, had drawn 
iome brave troops and perions of diftinftion into his Faction, 
who were to join Alaric, tkpofe Arcadius, and proclaim him 
emperor : the confequeoce of which was to be ; a military go- 

Yol. II. U vcnmiei.r, 



99 <5 RUFINt'S; OR, AN ESSAY 

vcrnment, the conftant fuppoit of ufurpation, and one of the 
grcateft calamities a kingdom can lahour under. 

Thus the condition of princes is more unhappy than that of 
private men. Their high itation renders them incapable of re- 
ceiving the returns of fiicndihip, or of knowing the hearts of 
thole that profefs it to them. Their power of doing good and 
conferring benefits excites ambition and envy, where it mould 
produce duty and gratitude. Nor arc we to account for this, 
upon the vile notions Hobbes and his admirers have of human 
nature in general ; but rather to impute it to the particular mis- 
fortune of kings in the choice of their Favourites, or to the cor- 
ruptions that are too often contracted in Court-education. 

But to return to Rurintrs. After he had projected this black 
trcafon againft tire bed of mafters and molt indulgent of princes, 
he was infatuated into a fecurity of fuccefs ; infomuch, that he 
had actually prepared the donative, the purple, and all ths en- 
figns of majelty, for his invelliturc. 

But Gaines, a celebrated general, and a friend to Stilico, re- 
Solved to prevent the ruin of his country, by the deftruction of 
Rufinus ; and he accordingly accomplifked it, on the very day 
that he had intended to dethrone and murder Arcadrus. 

After the foldiers,. who were his willing executioners, had 
killed him, there was no vile or contemptuous treatment wanting* 
to infult his dead body. His head was fixed on the point of a 
lance, and his mangled carcafc lay expofed in the ftreets to the 
furv of the multitude. A common foldier cut off his right- 
hand ; and had fo contrived it, that, by drawing the finews 
which moved the fingers, he could make it grafp any thing at 
pleafure. With this hand lie ufed to receive bribes ; he went 
about begging alms, and crying at every door, Aote t« axtory* 
" Remember a poor infatia.uk wretch." The people, pleafed 
with anv tiling that ridiculed and expofed the memory of Ru- 
finus, applauded the fellow for his ingenuity, and beftowed their 
mock- charity upon him. 

Such was the end of this mighty Favourite i and it may be of 
rnftru&ion to others, that covctoufnefs can never amais riches, 
fufficient, nor policy form alliances ftrong enough, to fecura 
them at hit from the relentments of an injured and opprelfed 
nation : they may fee the fatal effects of ambition and avarice, 
and the natural inftability of new and fudden greatnefs : they 

may 



ON THE FAVOURITE MINISTRY. 291 

rr.av karri, that the favours of good princes are not longer to be 
relied on by their minifters, than they give fatisfaftion and do 
juftice to their fubje&s. 

Aicadius, after he came to reflect: fully on the iniquity of 
Rurinus's actions, expreflod an utter detection of his memory, 
attainted his blood, feized his houfe, and confifcated his ellate : 
but he permitted his Wife and Daughter, objects below his royal 
vengeance, to fteal into Sanctuary ; where with difficulty they 
wcre preferved from the rage of the people, to whom they had 
made themfelves obnoxious and hateful, by their exceihve covet- 
oufneSs, pride, and infolence. 

Now Stilico directed the councils of the Eaftern and Weftcm 
empire without a rival; and mewed the good difpoiition of his 
Miniitry, by endeavouring to compofe wars and tumults, and to 
reftore peace and happinefs to the Romans. 

From this fingle inftance, it would be eafy to demonftrnte, 
that a Favourite Miniftry is fundamentally destructive of good 
government, and equally pernicious to the Prince and to the 
People : tfo the Prince, in that it endangers his crown, divefts 
him of his fovereignty, betrays him into a neglect of his beSt 
friends, 'gives a low idea of his abilities, begets a contempt of 
his perfon; and, in a word, makes him tbi tool Tacitus defcribes 
Claudius Cad'ar, Princeps cut non judicium non odium ejl, nifi indi- 
tum acjujfum, " a prince that is neither allowed the ufe of his 
M reafon nor the freedom of bis palTions, but is taught even to 
" love and hate :" to the People, in that it fliuts up all accefs to 
the throne, deftroys their fundamental rights, delivers them over 
Co the tyranny of their fellow-ful jects, renders the whole ad- 
ministration partial, and consequently uniuft and oppreSfive. 

Conftantinc the Great was io convinced of thele truths, and 
fo Ikilled in the policies of government, that, upon the firfr. 
murmurs and remonflrances of the people ag;ainft his Minifters 
and Favourites, for their infatiable avarice and misapplication of 
the public money, he iilued out the following ediR, which 
Baronius calls Sanclio fanSliJJima, digna fane qua ad velum cujtif- 
que principis pra foribus affigatur, cum fape contingat bonos prin- 
cipes aulicorum, mimflrorum, et magiflrat;:um perperamgeflis rebus 
enormiter infamaria ; " a moft righteous law, and worthy to be 
" engraven on the gates of all roval palaces ; for it too often 
* happens, that the bc*ft princes fuffcr grievoufly in their cha- 
U 1 " rafters 



2 9 x RUFINUS; OR, AN ESSAY 

' ". rafters by the mal-adminiftration of their courtiers, miniliei;, 
|" and magiftrates." 

u To all our Subjects throughout the Provinces. 

" If there be any perfon, of what place, condition, or quality 
** foever, that can truly and fully prove anv of our Judges, 
** Generals, Favourites, or Courtiers, guilty of undue and cor- 
u rupt practices in the execution of their refpc&ive trufts ; let 
*' him with all freedom and fecurity approach the throne, and 
t( appeal to us. We ourfelvcs will hear and take care of all ; 
" and, if the facts be proved, will do ourfelvcs juftice. Let him 
" acculc them with all freedom and fecurity ; for, as we faid, if 
" he make good his allegations, we will not fail to do ouifelves 
" iuftice on the man that fhall be found to have impofed on us 
" with fpecious but deceitful'counk-ls. And, for his encourage- 
** ment that fliall make fuch difcovery, we will amply reward 
" him with honours and riches. So may the divine Providence 
«* ever protect our royal perfon, and make us happy in the 
" flourifhing condition of the empire !" 

Here, the prerogative of the Prince, and the liberty of the 
Subject, which fome Republican lchemes make incompatible, 
are vindicated in the fame breath ; and, no doubt, when righly 
underftood, they will be owned to be the bed: guardian of each 
other. Prerogative, if it were not bounded by Liberty, would be 
apt to grow into Tyranny ; and Liberty, if it were not reftrained 
by Prerogative, would as naturally run into Anarchy, lntre- 
pidus et fecurus accedat, interpellat me, ipfe audiatn omnia, ex- 
preffes a very tender fenie of the fcdus populi, and is what a fub- 
jeft will only afk of his prince. Ipfe me -vindicabo de eo, qui me 
ufque ad hoc tempus fimulatd integritate deceperit, is the voice of 
maiefty, and what a prince ought to fay and do, in affertion of 
himfelf and his facrcd authority. 

When this edift was publiihcd, the Romans were in no very 
free ftate ; and yet we fee what ample fatisfattion they received 
from an abiolute and unlimited prince. Nor did he think it 
any diminution of his fovereignty, to deliver up his chief Fa- 
vourites to the juft complaints of his people : for they could not, 
with all their fubtlety and influence, impofe upon him, " that 
" an inquiry into public mifmanagements was affiontive te 

» Majefty." 



ON THE FAVOURITE MINISTRY. 293 

"* Majefty." On the contrary, he knew fuch doctrines were ad- 
vanced by thofe only who meant their own lecurity more than 
lus fervicc, and who would make princes accountable for the 
actions of their minifliers ; which is a ftate of bondage incon- 
fiftent with the principles and natilre of Monarchy. 

Now, whether this law is a pattern for fucceeding ages, lefs 
abfolute than Conftantine ; whether, when their Favourites be- 
come perfidious and infolent, when their Judges give falle and 
illegal judgements, when their Treafurers fquander and mifap- 
ply the public money, when their Vicerovs plunder the Provinces 
they fliould proteel, when their Generals for mean and fordid ends 
protract bloody and expenfive wars ; whether, in fuch circum- 
flances, Mercy mould not prevail over Tultice, is, with de- 
ference, fubmitted to thofe whofe duty and bufinefs it is to afiift 
Princes with their counfels, and to redrefs National erievances. 

But to difcufs the topicks above named at large would require 
a volume ; and that is not intended here. Betides, they might 
be illuftrated with examples more modern than this of Rufinus; 
which, as they are of nearer concernment to us, may hereafter 
deferve our inquiry and examination*. 

e A Poem, originally annexed to this Treatife, under the title of 
a Rufinus, or the Favourite," is printed in vol. III. p. 218. In both, 
the Author profetfed to render the meaning of his Original with as little 
variation as pofiib'x ; and confequently thought himfelf " not obliged to 
" account for any applications, or parallels, his Readers might pleafe to 
*' make :" which were however too glaringly pointed to be vet looked. 



V 3 AN 



I *94 3 . 

AN ESSAY ON CIVIL GOVERNMENT. 

Infcri'oed to Sir William Withers r . 

AS to a Body Politic, it ought to be governed by its charter, 
whether it be a city or otherwifc. Now, if it be a city, 
wherein there is a mavor and aldermen, a common-council and 
freemen, there, I fay again, every one of them, in their refpec^ive 
capacities, have the right of electing of officers in that city ; 
and though I know the fuperior governors do ufurp a tyrannical 
power over the poor freemen, as we do in our inferior ad-./ 
miniftrations, where the inhabitants of every little village are 
forced to fubmit to the abfolute government of the headborough, 
churchwardens, conftables, or tithing-men, of the faid villages; 
1 fpeak of my own knowledge, having had long experience of 
rule and dominion, as I may fo call it, without controul : yet, 
notwithstanding all this, I mult beg leave to fay, it it a falfe ftep 
we mr.giitrates make, when vvc thus endeavour to enflave the li- 
berties of the people committed to our care. 

In ancient times, the mayor, aldermen, and community, were 
all fummoncd to the electing of fuch officers as were to govern 
their reflective cities ; and the community was then not, fup- 
poled to lie reprefented by the common-council, but by fome fe- 
lectj honcft, difcreet, and wile men, chofen by the citizens as 
their reprefeatatives, or the whole body of the commons, for 
thefe following reaions, which 1 fhall humbly offer to your 
confideration. 

i. Tint the jurifdiction of a mayor, or aldermen, fherifFs, Sec. 
extends to a local jurifdiction ; and therefore ought to be cholen 
by thofe who live under their power, free of their city, and none 
eile. 

2. Becaufe freemen of the city pay fcot and lot, and arc bound 
to aflift the chief officers of the city. 

3. Becaufe qucft-men, jury-men, conftables, and fcavengers, are 
all chofen by the community of every ward ; and it is as equally 
Decenary and juft for the well-government of the city, that the 
fheiiff s officers fhould be chofen by the fame. 

i Lord Mayor of London in 1708. 

4- U 



AN ESSAY, l-c. j.95 

4. If there be any mifmana^ement in government, the citizens 
living in the city muft be taxed, and pay fines for mifgovern- 
ment ; and therefore it is mod fit they fhould have their vote in. 
election. And farther, if any accident happen by fire, or the 
mifcarriage of one or more of the chief officers, if it fo fall out 
that the treafure fhould lie cxhaufted and misapplied, I would 
fain know who mull be rclponlible for it; the feveral focietics of 
•the whole city, or the community, and every particular member 
thereof? 

And here give me leave to exprefs with furrow, what I am fure 
is the whifpering, nay the report of many, and, I fear, too true, 
that the cry of the widow and the orphans doth lolicit for 
vengeance agaiuft fome magillrates ; but 1 hope your Worfhip 
and I may with fafc confeiences wafh our hands from fuch guilt 
and opprcfiion : it is true, they wear chains of geld, but they arc 
chains as well as gold; and though their govjjts are honourable, 
they are verv burtbeufomt. 

I fhall proceed to enforce the argument for the freemen of 
cities and corporations ; and mall confider, once for all, whether 
the companies of the leveral milteries, or the freemen of London, 
for example, have a right to chufc minor:,, aldermen, and 
iherifls: and I do allert this for a truth, that the freemen only, 
or their reprefentatives who fhall be actually chofen to reprefent 
the freemen (excepting the lord-mayor, aldermen, and common- 
council), have a right to this election. It is plain that the very 
city and common-council in all things do acknowledge this to 
be the people's right; for, upon their election of reprefentatives 
2,1 parliament, the corumiffions they give them run in the name 
of the whole commonalty of the city : and it is generally ad- 
mitted to be the people's Tight, in all acts of common-council, 
and other public aefs, which run in the name of die commonalty 
of the city. They are therefore fuppoied to do thofe acts them- 
felves, or by their deputies. 

But I will waive this, left your Worfliip fhould think I would 
reduce all government to an uncertainty, by diuolving it into 
the firft principles, and fo feem, at laft, to run upon that rock of 
confufion, which fome people would have us fplit ourfelvcs 
upon. Now I crave leave to inform you, that the firft records 
that fhould make out the people's right, in mod: corporations of 
England, arc cither embezzled, burnt, or loft : but, the liberties 
I' + of 



e 9 6 AN ESSAY ON 

of London being confirmed by Magna Charts, it is plain that 
they not only txifled before that time, but that thofe common 
liberties were grounded upon right reaion, fo are confirmed by 
common law, and bv conference are unalterable ; and any law 
made againft thofe liberties of London, either by a power within 
the city or without the city, is null of itfelf. Now to make it 
appear, that it was one of the city liberties, before the Great 
Charter, that the freemen mould chufe their chief officers, we 
(can go no farther than their charter granted by king John, which 
is the fir ft charter the city of London hath extant : and by that 
charter it is laid to be granted to the barons of London, yearly to 
elect a mayor and fherirls. The word barons doth import no 
more than the freemen of London ; for then the freemen of every 
port were called barons, though at this time it is a title of 
ppbility. 

Now every body muft allow, that this very charter was not the 
original of thofe liberties of London, which are mentioned to be 
granted ; but that it was only declarative, mewing what the li- 
berties of the city were. And here I muft infer, that this 
charter, declaring that the barons of the city, wherein every par- 
ticular citizen is included, mould chufe the mayor, fheriffs, &c. ; 
this, I fay, doth but declare what was the common right of all 
the citizens of London before this charter. Whence we may 
conclude, that, before the Great Charter, it was the right of the 
citizens of London, none excluded, that they mould chufe the 
mavor, &c. and fuch a right as I afk leave to affirm to be unal- 
terable ; that is, juftly fo : for, being a right by the law of 
Nature, it is fupsrior to all other laws j and other laws are only 
fo far right as they agree with this. However, I may more 
boldly fay, that this liberty of the citizens of London, being con- 
firmed by the Great Charter, cannot be null by any act of com- 
mon-council ; and, in my poor country opinion, I think it was. 
not in the common-council's power to make an act. that might 
debar all but the liverymen of the feveral companies to come to 
the election of mayor and fheiitfs ; for they could not take away 
the right of the citizens declared by their charter. And in the 
fit ft charter, and all others, it is faid to be granted to the citizens 
indefinitely to chufe of themfelves a mayor ; and the charter 
pught to be conftrucd in favour of right ; and io it is to be taken, 
ph.at it is granted to all the citizens ; and this their right is ap- 
parently 



CIVIL GOVERNMENT. 29? 

patently tlie ufe of it here mentioned. And in the 20th year of 
Edward the Third, 1347, there is an acl of a common hall re- 
corded, wherein it is laid, M That there gathered together, on 
" Simon and Jude's clay, the whole commonalty into Guildhall, 
" London ; fo that the whole hall was full with the com- 
** monalty." 

The words of the a£t were thefe : " And it is agreed, that 
" from henceforth there (hall come the mavor, the aldermen, and 
" alio out of every ward of the city of London twelve, eight, or 
" fix, according as the ward mail he great or fmall, of the delicti 
M and wifell of every ward ; and fuch numbers, with the mavor 
" and aldermen, mail intermeddle and chufe a mayor and flierills 
"for the year following." This is a fufficient proof, I think, 
that it is the right of the citizens to elect ; for accordingly they 
did meet together, the whole body of the freemen ; and, finding 
it inconvenient, the commonalty did agree, at a full hall, that 
fuch a felect number fhould be chofen by every ward, and lent 
to the election of a mayor and (herifTs. And it is probable this 
was not the firft time that fuch an agreement was made; but 
that this was made after the commonalty had, upon tome oc- 
cafion, re-aiTumed the power of elcfting to themfclvcs : for, ac- 
cording to this agreement, it was the practice of the city for lome 
ages before it was put into the hands of the liverymen of each 
company. 

It is apparent, that it was the conflant practice for the lord 
mayor, iheriffs, aldermen, and the whole commonalty, to cleft 
every year : fo that the Records make it plainly appear, that the 
whole commonalty v/as either by themfelves or their deputies, 
which were feleSed men of their feveral wards, wherein is uih 
derftood the fame thing as the commonalty. And, if it were 
needful to ftrengthen this, I could prove that parliament-men 
were chofen by the lord mayor, aldermen, and the reprefentative 
of the whole commonalty of the city ; which admits that they 
were all there in their perfons, or in their deputies, to chufe 
them, and give them their commilTions j clle the commonalty is 
abuled, in having their names uled in the commiflions. 

Now I mail conclude from all this evidence, that, it being 
the liberty of all the freemen of Lomlon, by themfelves or de- 
puties, to chufe the lord mayor and ftieriffs ; and this being con- 
firmed to them by Magna Chaita, as unalterable; I alien, it was 

not 



i 9 S A N E S S A Y, i-c. 

not in the power of the common-council to take away the free* 
mens right; nor to fay who fhouhl be the peoples deputies, them- 
felvcs being deputed to another power. So that I conclude it 
was the ancient undoubted right of the citizens of London, by 
thenifelvcs or their deputies, to make their election of their mayor 
and fheriifs, and other chief officers of the city j and I conceive 
the right of the freemen of the city of London, to be the com- 
mon right of moft corporations and freemen cf the kingdom of 
England. 

But, from thefe particular points, relating to ourfelves and 
feveral corporations, let me pais to the communication of my 
thoughts concerning the ftate of the nation, and the prcfenc 
pofture of affairs in Europe. 

I cannot but tell you, Woiihipful Sir, that feme people are 
wifcr than forr.e, though I do no: boaft of my own wifdom. 
There is a great deal of difcrerion in the choice of men, time, and 
place : fo that " one man's meat may become another's poifon." 
Some a<es ago, our anceflors of Gotham endeavoured " to hedge 
" in the Cuckow," with fomc effect : about two years ago we 
made the like attempt to " hedge in a High-flyer y' but out 
Managers were Owls, and he got the better of us. So, about 
fixrv or feventy years fine;:, an honeil lad fang a fong of " The 
f* King fhall have his own again;" and every bodv liked it; 
but a certain fellow fan<r the fame words the other day, and was 
carried before the juftice for it. Tjiis, puts me in mind of a * * 
-* * •* * ■ v * * * * * 

Cetera defunt. 



Th# 



C 299 ] 

The LIFE of William Earl of Flanders, 
Son to Robert h Duke of Normandy. 

ROBERT duke of Normandy, in his return from the 
Holy Land, in the year eleven hundred, took to wife the 
lady Sibilla, fitter to William carl of Flanders K She was a 
woman of great virtue and wifdom, as well as beauty ; and 
managed affairs, both public and private, in the abfence of her 
hulband, with as much conduit as he could have done if prefent ; 
and fome perfons went fo far as to give her the preference. But 
ihe lived not long in Normandy, being deceived by the envy and 
faction of fome noblcmens ladies k : however, Ihe had one fon 
there, who was named William. 

Duke Robert being defeated in the fight at Tenechebray ?, 
1106, and taken prifoner, and afterwards, upon his endeavouring 
to efcape, having his eyes put out, 1107, and being more clofelv 
confined, could not but leave his infant fon in a defolate and 
miferable condition. However, the young prince found fafety 
and protection in tlie court of France ; where, by good education, 
added to an ingenuous and tractable difpofition, he gave extra- 
ordinary hopes of his future virtues, It was not only an a£t of 
charity and friendihip in the French king to breed up tliis prince ; 
but he had his title to the dukedom of Normandy at leatt, if no: 
to the crown of England, as a perpetual curb to king Henry, 
whole power, wifdom, and riches, began to grow formidable tq 
his neighbours. 

It was not many years before there was an occafion to make 
ufe of it m j for, in the year 1116, fome dilcords arifing between 

h Eldeft fon of William the Conqueror. 

1 Gemiticenfis, lib. vii. c. 14. Matthew Paris, p. 56. 

14 Gemit. ibid. '.' Vixit autem in Normannia parvo tempore, invidia 
u et faftione quorundam nobilium fesminarum decepia." 

1 Gemit. lib. vii. c. 13. Matt. Paris, p. 62, calls it Herchehay ; p. 70, 
Ttnecbilray. Walfingham, Hift. Neultr. p. 44, Tcncrchtbray. Gemi- 
ticenfis fays, the fight was 20 cal, Oft, Matt. Paris, 8 cal, Maii. 

n> Matt, Paris, p. 66. 

the 



3 oo THE LIFE OF WILLIAM 

the two kings ; and Lewis of France, receiving many damage? 
from the fubje&s of king Henry, called to his afliftance the earls 
of Anjou and Flanders, who hoth fwore that they would take 
Normandy from king Henry, and give it to William, the fon of 
tluke Rol>ert, to whom of right it more juftly belonged. But 
the king of England, being a wife and fore-feeing man, had 
gathered a great force, and made ftrong confederacies, and, 
being thus prepared, waited for his coming. King Lewis, 
with a numerous army, accompanied with thofe earls who had 
threatened fuch mighty things, came into Normandy, where he 
fcarce (laid above a night, before, upon better confederation, 
fearing the coming of the king of England, he retired into his 
own territories n . 

But by this means the battle between thefe two powerful kings 
was only delaved for iome time ; and it feemed to have hap- 
pened on purpofe that prince William might arrive to fuch an 
age as he might be able to vindicate his own right, and to fuch a 
degree of valour and conduct, that he might be fit to appear at 
the head of an army": for, in the year 1119, the two kings 
came to a pitched battle, after this manner : The king of France 
difpofed his men into rwo armies ; the command of the fir ft he 
gave to prince William ; and the fecond, in which his greateft 
ftrength confided, was led by himfelf in perfon. On the other 
fide, king Henry made three divifions ; in the firft, he placed 
trie nobility of Normandv j in the fecond, he was himfelf with 
the troops of England ; in the third were his fons, with the 
main ftrength of the infantry. The fight being begun, prince 
William charged bravely thorough the Norman nobility, and 
foon difmounted and difperfed them. Then, breaking into the 
army commanded by king Henry, he with a mighty force dif- 
ordered them ; but the king raillving his troops, and getting 
time to breathe, there began a molt bloody battle ; and their 
fpcars being broken, they fought hand to hand with their cutlalles. 
William Crifpin earl of Ebroicenfis (Evreux), having been 
iome fmall time before profcribed by king Henry, made up 
furioully to him, and ftruck him twice upon the head j but his 

a Matt. Paris, p. 67. " Cum, in da vht pernoftafTet, Regis Anglo- 
f* mm rormidans adventum, imbellis ad propria remeavit.'* 
Matt. Paiis, p. 68. 

helitiW 



EARL OF FLANDERS. 3*! 

helmet was impenetrable : yet bv the force of the blows, it wa% 
fo bruifed and dented, that the blood iilutd from him in great 
quantity. This fo enraged the king, that, with one blow, he 
brought both his enemy and his horfe to the ground ; and the 
earl was immediately taken from before the king's feet, and 
made pnfoner. Then the foot, with the king's fons, coming up, 
and being frefh, as not having yet engaged, bore in upon the 
enemy with their lances, and made fo heavy an imprelhon on 
them, that they forced the French to give back, and afterward to 
fly with all the fpeed they could pofiibly. So the entire victory 
remained to king Henry, who ftaid in the field till the chief 
commanders and nobility (for king Lewis himfelf had efcaped 
by flight) were taken and prefented to the conqueror. Baldwin 
earl of Flanders was carried off mortally wounded P. King 
Henry returned to Rouen, where he was received with much de- 
votion by the clergy, and great triumph by all his other fubjecrs. 

The behaviour of prince William in this battle could not but 
make his merits valuable in the court of France ; and many 
years did not pafs before there was an opportunity given of 
ihewing what efteem they had for him 1. Charles earl of 
Flanders, who had fucceeded Baldwin his kinfman, was treacher- 
ouflv murdered, in 1126, by fome of his nobles, as he was at Ids 
devotion in a church at Bruges, and died without leaving any 
illue. Nothing could feem more proper, than that prince 
William, who had delert without any honour, and a foul fit for 
government though without a territory, mould fucceed in tliis 
vacancy. He had not only received much favour, and afliftance, 
and friendfliip, from the feveral preceding earls of Flanders; 
but they had a nearer tyc of blood, they being both deicended 
from one flock ; that is to fay, they fprang from Baldwin with 

P Gemit. c. 6. Walfingham, Hyp. Neuftr. p. 443 — It may not be 
improper for the curious in hiftory to remark two v*ry grofs errors in 
Walfingham. He feems to divide the battle between king Henry and 
king Lewis, and to make two of it. He places the death of Baldwin 
earl of Flanders under the year n 18, and the combat between king 
Henry and Crifpin in the year 1119 ; and then, 1129, fome years after 
the death of Charles earl of Flanders, he makes king Henry fucceed him. 
*' Anno 1129, Mortuo Flandrenfi Comite Carolo, Henricus Rex Anglix 
" «le benepl3tito Regis Francis fuccc/fit jure confanguinitatis." Kikg. 

% Matt. Paris, p. 70. 

the 



gth THE LIFE OF WILLIAM 

the Beard, carl of Flanders ; and prince William came from 
his fifter queen Maud, who was his grandmother, and wife to 
William the Conqueror 1 ". For this reafon, the queen of Fiance 
thought he might not be unacceptable to the people of Flanders ; 
and, as a more particular favour to him, married him to her 
fifter, by which flie might the more earneftly engage her huf- 
band king Lewis, not only in his prefent promotion, but like- 
wife in his future afliftance. Lewis foon complied with the re- 
queft of his queen, and put him in polfelfion of Flanders ; 
where the firlt aft of his juftice was, to inflict fevere puniihments 
upon the murderers of his predeceffor s . King Henry was keep- 
in" - his Cluiftmas at Windlor (Windlefhoram), 1127, when 
the news was brought him, that his molt beloved friend 
Charles was murdered, and that he was fucceeded by William, 
who, having received fuch an increafe of ftrcngth, threatened not 
only the recovery of Normandy, but likewife of the crown of 
England. 

The kindnefs which king Lewis ihewed, and the affiftancc 
which he gave to the earl of Flanders, became not only very much 
fufpecred by king Henry, but made him gather a great force to- 
gether, and the next year, 1128, invade the kingdom of France, 
upon pretence that he protected his enemies. He continued 
eight days at Hefpard (Heipardum), with as much fecurity as he 
might have done in his own country: and till fuch time as he 
made king Lewis promife that he would give no fuccours to the 
earl of Flanders. King Henry, not content to deprive the earl of 
a friend, raifed him likewife up an enemy of Germany, a certain 
duke called Theodorickj who entered Flanders in ahoftile manner, 
and joined feyeral of the nobility, who were prepared for a revolt. 
But earl William came to meet them with a few troops, but well- 
difciplined. They fought gallantly on both fides ; and parti- 
cularly the earl's foldiers fupplied their want of number by their 
invincible valour ; whilft he himfelf appeared in the moft bloody 
part of the battle, cutting through the thicket! ranks of his ene- 
mies, and ftriking fuch terror into them with his fword and the 
fiercenefs of youth and vigour, that they were forced to betake 
themfclves to flight in a moft horrid diffraction. 

» Gemit. c. 14, 15, 16. 
s Matt. Paris, p. ^o« 

©r.eae 



EARL OF FLANDERS. 3°} 

Great part of this viftory was owing to the bravery of the com- 
mander ; but he did not long enjoy the fruits of his conqoeft, 
or his dukedom; for, fhortly after, as he was befieging the 
caftle of Angi, which belonged to king Henry, and had reduced 
it to fuch extremity that it was to be furrendered the day follow- 
ing, he received a fmall wound with a lance upon his liand, 
which however proved .mortal to him.*. He was buried io the 
church of St. Benin the Confefibr, and was fucceeded by Ter- 
ricus de Auieis, who was a relation to the former earls of 
Flanders. 

Thus died this unfortunate prince, leaving his father blind 
and in prifon, to prolong a miierable life for about fix years af- 
terwards. He was certainly worrhy of a better fat?, according 
to the character which our Hiftorians give of him : that be 
was a man of great probity, ftoutnefs, and bravery ; and a perfon 
whofe memory ought to be continued down to ail future ages ". 

1 6 cal. Aug. 1 128. Matt. Paris, p. 71. Gemit. 1. vii. c. 16. — He 
received a wound in his writt, which, by the unfkilhilnefs of a largeon, 
coft him his life. This one flight inconficlerable accident did, in 2II pro~ 
bability, put a flop to very great events : for, if that young prince had 
Survived his victory, it is hardly to be doubted but, through the jjflaefe 
of his caufe, the refutation of his valour, and the affiftance of the king 
of France, he would in a little time have recovered Normandy, and per- 
haps his father's liberty a which were the two defigns he had in agitation j 
nor could he well h.ve miffed the crown of England after the king's 
death, who was now in his decline, when he had fo fair a title, and no 
campstitor<! in view but a woman and an infant. Swift. 
* Matt. Paris, Gemiticenfis, ubi fupr*.. 



The 



[ 3©4 ] 

The Analogy between Physicians, Cooks, 
and Playwrights \ 

" When fliall we Three meet again:" Shakespeare. 

THOUGH I fehlom eat out of my own lodgings, I was 
prevailed on the other day to dine with ionic friends at 
^he Rummer in Queen- (tree t. A Phyfician, who was engaged to 
be of the party, flaying fomewhat beyond the time, Sam Trufty- 
would needs have me go with him into the kitchen, and fee how 
matters went there. I would have excufed myielf, fearing left 
the heat of the place, and the fteam of the leveral dimes, fliould 
have taken away my flomach; but he allured me, that Mr. 
Brawn B had an art (beyond other Cooks) of making his culromers 
more hungry by the fight of his kitchen. I was indeed very 
much pleafed and lurprized with the extraordinary fplendor and 
ceconomv I obferved there ; but, above all, with die great readi- 
nefs and dexterity of the man himfelf. His motions were (|uick, 
but not precipitate : he in an intrant applied himfelf from one 
(love to another without the leaft appearance of a hurry, and in 
the midft of fmoak and fire preferved an incredible lerenity of 
countenance. By this time the Do£lor was come, and made a 
thoufand apologies for being fo late. He allured us, by the 
great powers above, that nothing fliould have kept him but the 

a Firft printed in The Tatler, vol. V. No zz. — Dr. King's natural 
fund of humour and ready flow of wit were perpetually exerted to the en- 
tertainment of his friends, either in perfon or by his pen. From modeft 
diffidence, the infeparable companion of real merit, his lucubrations in 
general appeared without a name j many of them in detached eflays 
vere haftene-J to the prefs the moment they were written } others were 
conveyed to the public in various periodical publications. Conjecture 
might lead us to a few of the latter fort in The Examiner ; and to many in 
The Tatler. Though no friend to the political character of Mr. Steele, 
he readily affifted him on occafion as an Eilayift j and, when the fifib 
volume of Tatlers was begun by Mr. Harrifon, Dr. King was a regular 
aflbciatein that work. The eflay we have felected will be a fuffkient clue 
to the Reader who has curiofity to fearch for more. 

}> Celebrated in " The Art of Cookery," ver. 684. 

extreme 



THE ANALOGY, &c. 3 * ? 

extreme clanger of two or three or" his patients. We eafily be- 
lieved him, knowing his uncommon tendcrnefs for thofe under 
his care, and at the fame time the multiplicity of his practice, 
without the leaft affectation to make a fhew of it c . This gentle- 
man, after we had dined, was obliged to give audience to feveral 
Apothecaries that came to him, with different cafes, from ail 
parts of the town. Having fome knowledge of Phyikk, I took 
the liberty of looking over his bills as he wrote them, which he 
did with wonderful quicknefs and feeming inadvertencv, enter- 
taining us all the while with an incoherent but agreeable con- 
vention. Notwithftanding the great number of diftempers, the 
infinite variety of their fymptoms, and the ignorance of thofe who 
reprefented them, he entered into them all with an incredible pe- 
netration, and, without omitting one drug that was proper, or 
inferting one that was otherwife, difpatched more prefcriptions 
to the pui -pofe in three quarters of an hour, than Dr. Ebony has 
done in twenty years of his life. 

It being now towards fix of the clock, it was propofed that we 
fhould go and fee " Love for Love,'' which was to be played that 
night in Dairy Lane. I cannot fay but this excellent Comedy 
was tolerably well performed ; hut I mail be very cautious for the 
future how I bellow any commendations on this or that particular 
Player, fince I find by experience they have not judgement 
enough to fupport the weight of them : one, whom I allowed to 
be an admirable Buffoon, having upon that foot fet up for a Cri- 
tick ; and another, from being encouraged by me to attempt the 
part of Othello, having ever fince confidered himfelf, and verv 
lately acted, in the capacity of a Hero. I fat with great attention 
during the whole entertainment ; and could not but obferve, not- 
withftanding the great divcrlity of characters that are blended in 
it, how exactly the diftinttions of each were preferved through the 
whole ; and that no one perfon, from the beginning to the end, 
f|Mike a lentence that could properly have been put into the 
mouth of any other. 

As foon as the Play was over, I wrapped myfelf warm in my 
cloak, and walked directly to my lodgings. As I v/as recollect- 
ing how 1 had fpent the day, it came into my head that there was 
a very great analogy or refemblance between the necefiary quali- 
fications of a Phyfician, a Cook, and thofe of a Dramatic Writer. 

« Dr. John Freind. See the obfervations at the end of vol. III. 
Vol, II. X for 



3 o6 THE ANALOGY, k 

For the firft of thefc, if we confuler him in the hurry of his bufi- 
nefs, with his head full of materia medica, hard names of diftem- 
pers, and unfpeakable terms of anatomy — in thefe whimfical cir- 
cumftances, I fay, of what fatal coniequencc might the leaft over- 
fight prove ! For inftance, (hould he chance to prefcribe catechu, 
calaminaris, and oftiocolla, inftend oi fenugreek feed anil treacle of 
andromachus, to one in an erifipetalous fever j inftead of com- 
pound bryony water and Langius's anti-epikpticl, a decoclion of 
bifiort ox an erutbropapaverous cataplafm, in the paroxyjm of an 
Apoplexy ; the patient is loft, and, what is much worfe, his reputa- 
tion ruined for ever. — The province of a Cook is no lefs difficult 
and perplexing; heated as he is, and confounded with the mani- 
fold demands of thofe about him, he muft be fure not to miftake 
his ingredients, or the exact proportion of them. Now he 
muft dip in pepper, now in Jf iced pip/ins, then in phtaches, 
tfbnfies, moreiles, gcofeberrjes, jpinage, or barberries .- one moment 
he attends on olio, the next on offers in faff ado, eggs a-la-Hugue- 
notie ; and, in the midft of all thefe affairs, muft be at leifure to 
give proper and direct anlwers to fifty o t ueftions at once. It is no 
lefs neceffary that he fhould have a great command of the terms 
of his art : he " breaks a Deer, rears a Goofe, untaches a Curlew, 
" allays a Pheafant, fplavs a Bream, fides a Haddock, tufks a 
il Barbel, tranches a Sturgeon, barbs a Lobfter," &c. — The Poet 
remains to be confidered : he indeed compofes at leifure, and is 
lefs open to frequent interruptions than either of the former. 
But then the taftes and conftitutions he is to confult are no lefs 
difficult, and his work of a more refined and delicate nature. The 
infinite variety of his own thoughts is to him what a crowd of 
people are to the others. He finds himfelf engaged, perhaps, 
with a dozen or fourteen pcrfons, in a great meafure the creatures 
of his own imagination, each of which he is to furnifh with what 
is exactly proper to their character, and no more ; and to conduct 
them, in the fame figure and ftation, to the end of his defign. This 
requires a ready genius and a clofe attention ; otherwile he will 
fall into grofs errors, and often apply his wit and humour in the 
wrong place. It is for this reafon, that I, for my own part, 
would as loon propofe to eat luxurioufly in a cellar, or apply 
myfelf for a cure to Dr. Ebony in a dangerous illnefs, as hope to 
be entertained to my fatitfaction by moft of our modern dramatic 
performances. 

CON- 



CONTENTS OF VOL. II. 

r ]p H E Tranfaclioneer ; with fome of his Philofophical 
X Fancies : in Two Dialogues, Pag. i 

Preface, 2 

Dial. I. A Gentleman and a Virtuofo, 7 

II. A Gentleman and the Tranfaclioneer, 22 

Index to the Tranfaclioneer, 54 

Ufeful Tranfaclions in Philofophy, and other Sorts of 
Learning, in Three Parts. 
PART I. 
Preface, 59 

1. An Effay on the Invention of Samplers, communicated by- 
Mrs. Judith Bagford, with an Account of her Collections 
for the fame. By Mrs. Arabella Manly, School-miflrefs at 
Hackney, 61 

2. Some Natural Observations made in the School of Llan- 
dwwfwrhwy. ByR. P. during his Refulence there, 67 

3. An Effay, proving, by Arguments Philofophical, that Mil- 
lers, though falfely fo reputed, yet in reality are not Thieves ; 
with an intervening Argument, that Taylors likevvife arc noc 

fo. In a Letter to Dr. Harborough, from Dr. Williams, 7* 

4. An Account of Books, in' Letters to Dr. Littlebrand by Dr. 
Playford : with an Account of Meurfius's Treatife of the 
Grecian Games, 77 

5. An Account of Meurfius's Book of the Plays of the Grecian 
Boys, in a fecond Letter, 1 • 

6. A new Method to teach learned Men how to write unintel- 
ligibly : being Collections out of Softlinius an Italian, Bar- 
dowlius and Bardocoxcombius,one PoetLaureat to K. Lucid, 
the other to Q^Bonduca, Scornfenfius an Egyptian, Sec. 
Communicated by Mr. Loveit to Mr. Lackit. 86 

PART II. 
Preface, 92 

1. The Eunuch's Child: with fome important Queries, whe- 
ther a Woman, according to Juftice, and any Principles of Phi- 
lolophy, may lay a Child to an Eunuch ; as the Matter 
was argued between the Churchwardens of Sanfto Chry- 
foftomo in Venice, and the learned Academy of the Curioii 
there : occafioned by an Accident of that Nature happening 
to Signior Valentio Crimpalcfi, Knight of the Order of the 
Caponi, 95 

2. The Tongue. New Additions to Mr. Anthony Van Leewen- 
hoeck's Microfcopical Obfervations upon the Tongue, and 
the White Matter on the Tongues of Feverilh Perfons. In 
which are fliewn, the feveral Particles proper for Prattling, 

X 2 Tattling, 



3 oS CONTENTS OF VOL. IL 

Tattling, : Pleading, Haranguing, Lying, Flattering, Scolding, 
and other iuch like Occafions, communicated by Dr. TcftVjioj 

3. Migration of Cuckoos. A Letter concerning the Migration 
of Cuckoos, with their Deliruftion of Eggs : and general 
Remarks concerning Birds Nefts, with the Speech of Birds, 
communicated by Mr. Martin Cheapum, M. A. F. U. S. 114 

4. Some material Remarks upon Mr. Anthony Van Leewcn- 
hoeck's Microlcopical Obfervations on the Membranes of the 
Inteftines and other Trypal Veflels, communicated by a 
grave Matron in Field-lane, long accuftomed to Experi- 
ments of that Nature, J 21 

5. An Iliftotical and Chronological Account of Confccrated 
Clouts, communicated by the Ingenious and Learned Vir- 
tufifo, Seignior Giovanni Barberini of Chelfognia ; occa- 
sioned by a Paffage in the Poft-bov, that the Pope has lately 
made a Prefent of the lame Nature to the Young Prince of 
Afturias, 125 

PART III. 
A Voyage to the Iflandof Cajamai in America ; giving a brief 
Account of the Natural Rarities, Inhabitants, and Diieafes, 
of the Country; together with their Cures, after the Me- 
thod uftc! by Jafper Van Slonenbergh, a learned Member of 
the Royal Virtuoti of Great Britain, in the Relation he has 
given of his Voyages into thofe Parts, 131 

Preface of the Pubiifher, ibid. 

• of the Author, 136 

Author's Introduction, 139 

Particular Contents, 177 

A Vindication of the Rev. Dr. Henry Sachcvcrell, from the 
falfe, Scandalous, and malicious Afperfions, caft upon him 
in a late Pamphlet, intituled, " The Modern Fanatick,"&:c. 179 
Mr. Billet's Recantation, 257 

An Anfwer to a Second Scandalous Book that Mr. Billet is 

now writing, to be published as foon as pofhble, 261 

Two Letters from honeft Tom Boggy to Thomas Goddard, 
M. A. Canon of Windfor, occafioned by a Sermon preached 
in St. George's Chapel, and dedicated to the Duchefs of 
Marlborough, 270 

Rufmus ; or, an Hiflorical Effay on the Favourite Miniftry, 28© 
An Effay on Civil Government, 294 

The Life of William Earl of Flanders, 299 

The Analogy between Phyiicians, Cooks, and Playwrights, 304 

END OF THE SECOND VOLUME. . 



,4 



W 



«i 





r.^y^*s 



1 



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