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o F 







He, voii! of envy, 'guile, and lull of gain, 
Pour'd forth his unpremeditated ftrain. 

L O -N D O N, 





v ' Die 




I. A PREFACE of the Publisher of the Tragi-comedy of 

II. The Tragi-comedy of JOAN OF HEDINGTON. 

la Imitation of SHAKESPEARE. 

III. Some Account of HORACE'S Behaviour during 
With an ODE, to entreat his Departure thence; 
together with a Copy of his Medal, taken out of 
TRINITY-COLLEGE Buttery, by a Well- wittier to that 

upon Qfis Dives 

VOL. III. B 4 


C 3 3 

T O 


JT is many years fince, that tliis Tragi-comecly of Joan of 
Heclington came to my hands, when the truth of the facts 
were frefh in memory. However, it is hoped that time has fo 
far buried fome of them in oblivion, that now it may feem a 
fable j and that a murder like that of hanging-up of Joan, 
would never be attempted to be committed, by a perfon of breed- 
ing, in fo polite a town as that of Hedington. 

I have been credibly informed that, foon after its compofition, 
the parts were given out to feveral ingenious perfons for action. 
But that defign failed, becaufe fome decorations for the ftage 
were wanting, and the mufick between the acts, which was to 
have been very long, was not fully perfected. I have had in- 
formation likewife that the Prologue was not written by the 
Author, or rather Authors, of the Play, but by a perfon of good 
elocution and graceful prefence, who was to have fpoken it ; and 
would, by his delivery, have equaled Rofcius, Alleyn 8 , Burbage, 
or Betterton. ' 

The Prologues of the Ancients were introductory to the Play, 
and feldom pretended to wit ; but gave an account of the Au- 
thor of it, and whether it \vere,of his own compofure, or a tranf- 
lation j and infilled mod u t ^n entreaties for the good-nature, 
attention, and filence of their audience : 

a Edward Alleyn^ founder of Dulwich College, born Sept. i, 1566, was 
In high reputation in 1592, as appears from an Epigram of Ben Jonfon. 
Haywood calls him ' Proteus for fhape, and Rofcius fora tongue." 
He was one of the original actors in Shakefpeare's plays, a principal per- 
former in Jonfon'sj mailer of the Fortune Playhoufe near Whitecrofs- 
ftreet, and keeper of the king's wild beafts. He began to build the College 
at Dulwich in 1614} which he finirtied, at the expence of ten thoufand 
pounds, in 1617. He met with many difficulties in the eftablimment of 
his foundation, it being oppofed by lord Bacon ; but obtained the royal 
licenfe, June 19, 1621. He died Nov. 25, 16*6 j and was fcuried in his 
owa chapel. 

B ^ Date 


Date operam, et cumjllentio animad-uortite, 
Ut fiernofcatis, quidfibi Eunuchus velit b ; 
" Attend, and lift in filencc to our play, 
That ye may know what 'tis the Eunuch means ;" 
is the conclufion of the Prologue to that celebrated Play of 
Terence, which gained the repeated applaufe of Rome. And to 
the fame purpofe, though in more words, is the conclufion of 
the Prologue to Phormio : only in the latter he complains that 
one of their Plays, which was Hecyra, was not fuffered to be 
acted, by reafon of the diflurbance and noife of the fpcftators : 
Date operam, adefte aqito aninio per filentium : 
Nejimili utamur for tuna, atque uji fumus, 
Cum pfr tumnltum nofter grex motus loco efl c , 
Quern Acloris virtus nolris refiiiuit locum, 
Bonitafijue 'voflra aJjutans y atque tequanimltas. 
tl Give car ; be favourable ; and be filent ! 
" Let us not meet the fame ill fortune now, 
" That we before encovmter'd, when our troop 
?' Was by a tumult driven from their place ; 
" To which the Actor's merit, feconded 
" By your good-will and candour, has reftor'd us." 
The Prologues of all the Plays pf Terence fcem to have bcca 
written by the Aftors ; at kail not to have exceeded their ca- 
pacity. In that of Hecyra, the principal Aftor, Lucius Ambivius 
Turpio, upon his own- account, entreats their filence, that he 
might be encouraged to ftudy new parts ; and purchafe frcfh copiti 
for their clivtrfion : 

Mea catijd can/am bane acclpite, et filentium date, 
Ut: lucent fcribere alii;, mihique ut difcere 
Np-vas expcdiat, pofihac prttio emptas ttteo. 

b To thef: qaotations fro.n the Comic Poet we have annexed the 
beautiful tranflation of his happieft imitator. 

c Alluding to the difluibances on the iirft attempt to reprefent the 
^le.'yra, or " Ste^ir.'Cther." 

_ When firii 

" It was prefcnted, fuch a hurricane, 
" A tumult fo uncommon intervened, 
" It neither could be feen, ncr underfl-ood : 
<c So taken were the people, fo cngag'd, 
f By a rope dancer,' 1 Cor MAN. 



" Admit this plea for my fake, and be Client; 

" That other Poets may not fear to write; 

<f That I too may hereafter find it meet 

" To play new pieces bought at my expence d ." 
The Epilogues of the Ancients were of a more concife nature 
than their Prologues, and came up even to a Lacedaemonian bre- 
vity. Thai's and Baccnis, or Myfis and Phrygia, the ladies or 
chamber-maids of thofe times, were not forced to change their 
cloaths, and after the Play come to regale the audience with an 
Epilogue, not becoming the modefty of their fex. Nor did Lucius 
Ambivius Turpio, or Lucius Attilius Prineftinus, prefume to 
huff and threaten their audience, and to throw lightning and 
thunder amongft them, as has been done in thefe latter ages, anct 
been very judiciouily reflected on by Mr. Bayes in his " Rehearfal.'* 
The Epilogues of three Comedies of Terence, the Eunuclius* 
the Heautontimorumenos, and Phonnio, proceed to no farther an 
extent than that of thefe four words, Pos valete et plaudite, 
"Ye, farewell; and clap your hands!" But that of Hecyra 
curtails this exuberance, and is content with two, Vos pl&udile, 
" Clap your hands ;" and thofe of Andria and Adelphi con- 
defcend fo far as to have only one, viz. Plaudits, " Clap yout 
" hands e ." 


d From the two prologues to the " Hecyra," and fome paflages in 
Horace, we may collect that riots, parties, &c. were as common in Rome 
as in England ; and that' a firft night was as terrible, and the town as 
formidable, to Cascilius and Terence, as to the puny authors of our days; 
The high reputation of Ambivius Turpio (the Ator who fpoke this 
Prologue, and probably the Manager of the Company) as well as the 
efteem which Terence had for him, is evident; and we conceive no un- 
favourable idea of the Town-criticks of thofe times, who could h'ften to 
fuch a plea urgtd by the Aclor, and fo candidly acquiefce in all that he 
faid in his own commendation. We have feen indeed, and it is to btf 
hoped fhall fee again, an Acling Manager in our time, to whom modern 
Authors have as much reafon to be partial as Terence to Ambivius ; butj 
though he has helped out many a lame Play with a lively Prologue, I 
believe he would hardly venture to make fuch an addrefs to the publicle 
as this before us. COLMAX. 

e All the old Tragedies and Comedies afted at Rome concluded in this 

manner. Dome CANTO?. , Vot PLAUDIT E, dicat, fays Horace. Who the 

Cantor was, is matter of difpute. Monf. Dacier thinks it was the whole 

B 3 Chorus j 


The Prologues and Epilogues of our antient Englifh Poets 
were probably of the like composition, though fomc of them were 
made by the Authors themi'elvcs ; but moil ran upon the fame 
fubjct. I fliall proceed no farther at prefent upon this point, 
becaufe I clefign a compleat DifTertation concerning all the Pro- 
logues and Epilogues that have come to my hands, to iliew the 
priitine fimplicity of them, and the licentioufnefs that has daily 
crept in upon them in fviccceding ages. 

I have been allured 1 that one of the Authors of this Tragi- 
comedy ufed often to lay before him the Prologue of Ben Jon- 
fon to his moft applauded Play, called, "The Fox f ;" which 
does not yield to any Comedy of any other nation whatfocver, 
for the juftnefs of thought, propriety of expreffion, and the true 
painting of the characters } and may be faid to be the moft ex- 
cellent, as to the variety of incidents, the feveral cataftrophe's, 
and the compleat working-up of the whole defign. The piece 
is wliat I have thought fitting to lay before the Reader ; it being 
remarkable for the number of the vcrfe, and the quaintnefs of 
the expreffion. 


" Now, luck yet fend us ! and a little wit 

" Will ferve, to make our PLAY hit ; 
" (According to the palates of the feafon) 

" Here is rhyme, not empty of reafon. 
" This we vvcrs bid to credit, from our Poet, 

tf Whofc true fcope, if you would know it, 
" In all liis Poems ftill hath been this meafure, 

" To mix profit with jour plafure\ 

Chorus ; others fuppofe it to have been a (ingle Ac~h>r; Come the Prompter, 
and fotne the Corr.pofer. Before the w.-.rd Plaitdltt, in all the old copies, 
is an ft, which has alfo given rife to feveral learned conjectures. It is 
moft probable, according to the notion of Madam Dacier, that this ji, 
being the laA letter of the Greek alphabet, was nothing more than the 
mark of the tranfcriber, to fignify the end, like the Latin word Finis in 
modem books 5 or it might, as Cook fuppofrs, (land for "U:o;, Cantor, de- 
noting that the following \vo;d Plaudite was fpoken by him. COL MAN. 
1 In which, Bui I/age figured as the principal Comedian. 

5 ' "And 


*' And not as fome (whofe throats, their envy failing) 

" Cry hoarfely, All be writes is railing : 
" And, when his PLAYS come forth, think they can flout them, 

" With faying, He nvas a year about them. 
" To thefe there needs no lie, but this his creature, 

" Which was two months fince no feature ; 
" And, though he dares give them five lives to mend it, 

" 'Tis known, five weeks fully penn'd it: 
" From his own hand, without a coadjutor, 

" Novice, journeyman, or tutor. 
li Yet, thus much I can give you, as a token 

" Of his PLAY'S worth, No eggs are broken; 
" Nor quaking cuftards with fierce teeth affrighted, 

" Wherewith your rout are fo delighted ; 
" Nor hales he in a gull, old ends reciting, 

" To ftop gaps in his loofe writing ; 
" With fuch a deal of monftrous and forc'd atfioa f 

" As might make Beth'lera a faftion : 
*' Nor made he his PLAY from jefts ftol'n from each table, 

" But makes jefts to fit his fable ; 
" And fo prefents quick Comedy refined, 

" As beft Criticks have defigned, 
" The laws of Time, Place, Perfons, he obferveth, 

" From no needful rule he fwerveth. 
" All gall and copperas from his ink he draineth ; 

" Only a little fait remaineth, 
" Wherewith he'll rub your cheeks, till (red with laughter) 

" They fliall look frefli a week after." 

In my opinion, the moft remarkable paiTages in this Prologue 
may be applied to the Tragi-comedy of " Joan of Hedington." 
For, in the firft place, if a Poet takes care " to mix profit with 
'* pleafure," and endeavours that his " rhime be not empty of 
" reafon," a " little wit" will make his Play " hit," and gain it a 
defcrved fuccefs. In this performance, the main defign is to pro- 
mote an univerfal good, by expofing vice, and fliewing ths 
dangers it leads perfons into, either of lofs of limbs, or life itfelf ;' 
and when virtue is the chief aim, all good people will be pleafi'd 
to fee the contrary to it difregarded. And, fince the diction is 
eafy and proper, there is no occafion for points, puns, quibbles, 
*ld jefh, or forced expreflions ; fince our prefent age, like that of 
B 4 Auguftus, 


Auguftus, is more inclinable to rclifh the natural beauties of 
Terence, than the mean pretenfions to wit that were ufecl by 
Plautus, and afterwards exploded by Horace. The Prologue 
goes on, that it was objected to the author of" The Fox," that 
" all he wrote was railing;" whereas indeed he " drained all gall 
" from his ink, and left only a little fait." So, if perfons will do 
irregular actions, it is not a lampoon to tell them of it, and re- 
prove them with fume fmartnefs ; and this is fo far from reflec- 
tion, that it fhews the irrcgulaiitics of a very few are dilcoun- 
raianccd by a larger part, and ought at leaft to fhame thofe decay- 
ing members into a compliance with better examples. When the 
Prologue fays,. " the Author was not above five weeks about his 
" Play;" fometliing might likc\vife be faid of this, that the work- 
ing it up did not coft fo much time as the birth of an elephant, 
6r the production of the famous Oraiion of Ifocrates. Laftly, 
the Prologue takes notice, 

" The laws of Time, Place, Perfons, he obferveth, 

" From no needful rule he fwerveth." 

And in this Poem it may be remarked, that, notwithstanding the 
ihortnefs of it, it flill keeps up to the rule of Horace : 
Ne-ve minor, neu fit, 'quinto produciior Alu 
Fabula, qua pofci i<ult, etffefJata reponi. Ars Poet. ver. 189. 
Which is, 

" The Play which vpu dufign fhould often pleafe, 
" Muft have Five Ails, and neither more nor lefs." 

Mr. CREECH'S Translation.' 

Then as to Retime of the action, I have feen none (except " The 
" Ad ventures of Five Hours 8," and foiuc fe\v Tragedies in imita- 
tion of the French) that can come near it ; for the whole fpacs 
of time docs not feem in probability to be of greater extent than 
that of Mailer Churchwarden's fetching up the cows, and 
his wife's milking them. The place for the performance of 
the action is Comprehended in the fmall vicinage of Hcdington, 
in which ftreet everv body fees every body, and every body knows 
every thingi There is no running trom thence to Cowley, fo to 
Ilinkfe\, and then back to Marilon, a;> we have parallel inflanccs 
in moil of Shakdpeare's Tragedies. Then for the manner; of the 
perfons, they are entirety- carried on throughout : Mother Harris 
find Mother FrarJtlin do riot talk like Mr. Cole; neither do 

S A Tragi-comedy by Sir William Tuke j printed 1663, Folio. 

a Father 


Father Clerkenwell or Mr. Atfon approach the fpirit of Mr. 
PLnclar ; for, as Horace has it, ver. 256. 

Necfic enltar Tragico differ re color!, 

Ut nihil inter/it, Davufne loquatur, et audax 

Pythias, emuntto lucrata Simone talentum ; 

An cuJJosfamulufqiie Dei S Menus alumni. 

Which verfcs are admirably improved by Mr. Creech h, who in- 
deed has been a fecond Horace, if not a fuperior genius to him, 
and had done greater wonders if he had. received the lights 
which have been given fmce his deceaie to that Author, and lately 
communicated to the Publick '. 

" They muft not make all Perfons talk alike, 

" The city valet, and the country Dick ; 

" The chamber-maid grown impudently bold, 

" When (he has robb'd the lecher of his gold : 

" The downright farmer, and the dowdy fit, 
, " Or elfe the brijk companion o'er his pot." 

-Here are great notices of the fignificancy of the Latin tongue, not 
to be found in any Commentator except Mr. Creech. 

Davus is to fignify a city valet and a country Dick. 

h Mr. Thomas Creech was born at Blandford in Dorfet, in 1659, fon 
of Thomas Creech, gent, educated at Sherborn fchool, entered at Wadham 
College, Oxford, 1675; took the degree of A. B. 1680; M. A. 1689 j 
and the fame year was elected probationer fellow of All Souls. In 
1701, he was prefented by his college to the living of Welling in Hert- 
fordfliire. He was a good philofopher, divine, and poet ; but, through 
fome difappointment either in love or in his expectations, laid violent 
hands on himfelf before he had taken pofleflion of his living. He pub- 
liftied Lucretius in Englifli, i68z, 8vo ; in Latin, 1695, 8vo; i Tranf 
lation of Horace, 1684, 8vo 5 of Theocritus, with Rapin's Difcourfe of 
Pailorals, 1684, 8vo;.of Manilius, 1700. He translated the Lives of 
Pelopi Jas in Corn. Nepos and Plutarch, and that of Solon in the latter ; 
with his Laconic Apophthegus, Eflay on Socrates's Demon, and the two 
firft Books of Sympofius, the thirteenth Satire of Juvenal, and fome 
Poems of Ovid and Virgil. He was alfo author of feveral verfes and 
tranflations in the Mifcellany Poems. On his father's monument in 
Blandford Church, this Poet is called " The learned, much-admired, and 
M much-envied Mr. Creech." See Hutchins, Hi(t. of Dorfet, vol. L 

P- S3- 

1 Dr. Bentley's Horace was firft published in 1711, 



have not as yet any account of their Epitaphs, which I generally 
collect from all parifhcs once in ten years. 

Joan of Hedington, whetlicr bv the bruifcs (lie might have re- 
ceived in the ftruggle flie made for the laft efforts of life (as will 
Appear in the Play, when flic was tied to the beam by Pindar), 
or by the concern Ihe might have for the affront fhe had received 
after having lived fo long in the neighbourhood^ or being agitated 
by the Furies, ran diffracted, and in that violent condition dil- 
clofed the fecret tranfaitions of her life ; but undoubtedly what 
flic then delivered was like a Tick .woman's dream, inconliftent 
with itfelf, incoherent in its parts, and a mixture ot fome grounds 
of truth, veiled with a cloud of fabulous inventions, railed from 
an irregular imagination : fo that no great obfcrvation could be 
made from what fhe faid. However, it gave occafion to a Poem, 
called " Joanna Furens j" which, being a rhaplody of Latin and 
" Englifh, came but to few hands, and has llnce periflied. 

Having been already longer than 1 at firft defigned, I (hall 
make my remarks upon the Play much mortcr than I would have 
done otherwife. 

Revenge and Friendship arc t\vo great bafes upon which a Play 
may be built; and they apparently have the predominance in this 
Interlude. The provocation, the injury, the thirft after revenge, 
and the accomplishment of it, and that by the help of frund/bip, 
run through the whole contexture. 

The Drama is opened by Mother Shephard and Mr. Church- 
warden, two grave perfons ; as is that of the Adelphi in Terence : 
Senes qui primi t'enient, hi par tern aperient : 
In agenda partetn oflendent. 
" Part the old men, who firfl appear, will open ; 
" Part will in act be fhewn." 

Mitio and Demea, the two brothers, were in the firfc Scene to 
difplay their own characters, and to continue them throughout. 
So Mrs. Shephard, in the firft Scene, declares her diflike to vice ; 
and, having been an exact obferver of the whole tranfaction, 
concludes the Play with a very remarkable and ufcful piece of 

It has been objected to this Pla}>that the Scene between Mother 
Harris and Joan of Hedington has too much freedom of language, 
which they are pleafcd to term fcolding. But to this it may be 
anfwered, that both -of them preferve their character?:, for ill 



words will follow ill deeds ; and it may be further faid, that, in 
flic Tragedies of the Anticnts, both Greek and Latin, there are 
examples of greater intemperance in fpeech, fcolding imprecations, 
and ill language ; and that thefe perfons fpeak more like PrincelTes 
than Medea or Hecuba. In Terence's Andria, the fcolding fcene 
between Myfis and Davus is the moft artificial of all that Comedy, 
which, though not the \yittieft, is efteemed one of the moft nicely 
wrought pieces of that Author. The whole turn of the Play de- 
pends upon it j and Davus (ver. 801) commends himfelf for it, in 
thufe words : 

Paulum intereffie cenfes, ex ammo omnia, 

Utfert uatur a, facias, an de indiiftrid ? 
" Is there then 

" No difference, think you, whether all you fay 

?' Falls naturally from the heart, or comes 

"With cold premeditation k .-" 

Scolding inuft be fcolding ; and there are no other words it can 
be put into but thole of Nature. Joan and Mother. Harris had 
their nails to fight with : but it would have been ridiculous to 
have introduced them with their helmets and launces, like Joan 
of Arc or the Amazonian Hippolyta. 

It has likewife been objcfted, that, Joan of Hedirigton's calling 
not being commendable in its own nature, the Author ought not 
to have made her juftify herfelf fo far as to fay, f< (he had been 
." honeft in her calling." But for this there is an example in the 
Adclphi of Terence ; where Sannio, though he confeiles, 

Leno fum,faieor,fernicies commitnis adolefcentnim t 

Pei'jurus, peftii. 

41 Well, I am a Pimp ', 

f l The common bane of youth, a perjurer : 

f A public miikmcc," . 


* The words of Davus. to Myfis in this fpesch have the air of an oblique 
praife of th:s fce'ne from fhe Poet himfelf, ihewing with what aft it is in- 
troduced, and how naturally it is fuflained. COL MAN. 

1 This fee.-ns (fays Mr. Colmari) to be a tranflation from DiphHus, 
from whom this part of the fable was taken. 

" No calling is more baneful and pernicious, 
" Than that of a Procurer." WESTERHOVIUS. 

The Procurer vyas a common characler in the Comedy of the Anticnts j but, 



have not as yet any account of their Epitaphs, which I generally 
collcft from all parifhcs once in ten years. 

Joan of Hcdington, whether l>v the bruifes (lie might have re- 
ceived in the ftrugglc (lie made for the laft efforts of life (as will 
Appear in the Play, when flic was tied to the .beam by Pindur), 
or by the concern Ihe might have for the affront fhe had received 
after having lived fo long in the neighbourhood; or being agitated 
by the Furies, ran diftrafted, and in that violent condition dil- 
clofcd the fecret tranfaclions of her life j but undoubtedly what 
ihe then delivered was like a Tick .woman's dream, inconfiuent 
with itfelf, incoherent in its parts, and a mixture of fome grounds 
of truth, veiled with a cloud of fabulous inventions, railed from 
an irregular imagination : iu that no great oblcrvation could be 
made from what (lie laid. However, it gave occafion to a Poem, 
called " Joanna Karens;" which, being a rhapfody of Latin and 
" Englilh, came but to few hands, and has lince perifhcd. 

Having been already longer than 1 at firft dehgned, I fhall 
make my remarks upon the Play much fhorter than 1 would have 
done othcrvvife. 

Revenge and Friendfhip are two great bafes upon which a Play 
may be built; and they apparently have the predominance in this 
Interlude. The provocation, the injury, the thirft after revenge, 
and the accomplifliment of it, and that by the help of friendjbtp, 
run through the whole contexture. 

The Drama is opened by Mother Shephard and Mr. Church- 
warden, two grave psrfons ; as is that of the Adelphi in Terence : 
Sene s qui primi -venient, hi par tern aperient : 
In agenda partstn oftencient, 
" Part the old men, who firft appear, will open ; 
' " Part will in aft be fhewn." 

Mitio and Demea, the two brothers, were in the firfc Scene to 
difplay their own charafters, and to continue them throughout. 
So Mrs. Shephard, in the firft Scene, declares her diflikc to vice ; 
and, having been an exaft obferver of the whole tranfaftion, 
concludes the Play with a very remarkable and ufci'ul piece of' 

It has been objefted to this Play,.that the Scene between Mother 
Harris and Joan of ITedington has too much freedom of language, 
which they are pleafed to term fcolding. But to this it may be 
anfwered, that both -of them preferve their character?., for ill 



words will follow ill deeds ; and it may be further faid, that, in 
t-he Tragedies of the Anticnts, both Greek and Latin, there are 
examples of greater intemperance in fpeech, (folding imprecations, 
ar,d ill language 5 and that thefe perfons fpeak more like Princelles 
than Medea or Hecuba. In Terence's Andria, the fcolding fcene 
between Mylis an,d Davus is the moft artificial of all that Comedy, 
which, though not the \yittieft, is efteemed one of the moft nicely 
wrought pieces of that Author. The whole turn of the Play de- 
pends upon it j and Davus (ver. 801) commends himfelf for it, in 
thefe words : 

Paulum inter effe cenfes, ex animo omnla, 
Utfert natura, facias, an de indujtrid ? 
" Is there then 

" No difference, think you, whether all you fay 
?' Falls naturally from the heart, or comes 
"With cold premeditation k :" 

Scolding muft be fcolding ; and there are no othe-r words it can 
be put into but thofe of Nature. Joan and Mother. Harris had 
their nails to fight with : but it would have been ridiculous to 
have introduced them with their helmets and launces, like Joan 
of Arc or the Amazonian Hippolyta. 

It has likewife been objected, that, Joan of Hcdirigton's calling 
not being commendable in its own nature, the Author ought not 
to have made her juftify herfelt io far as to fay, " {he had been 
." honeft in her calling." But for this there is an example in the 
Adclphi of Terence ; where Sannio, though he confeilcs, 
Leno futti, fat cor, -per nicies commtinis aJoIefccnti'/m, 
Perjurus, pf/fis. 

" Well, I am a Pimp ', 
*' The common bane of youth, a perjurer : 
?' A public nuilancc," . 


k The words of Davus to Myfis in this fpesch have the air of an oblique 
praife of th:s fce'ne frjm fhe Poet himfelf, ihewing with what aft it is in- 
troduced, and how naturally it is fuftained. COLMAN. 

1 This feerns (fays Mr. Colmari) to be a tranflation from Diphilus, 
from whom this part of the fable was taken. 

" No calling is more baneful and pernicious, 
" Than that pf a Procurer." WESTERHOVIUS. 

The Procurer vyas a common charailer in the Comedy of the Anticnts } but, 



has faid juft before, 

Lenofum. AESCH. Scio. SA. At itaut vfquam fide fuit quif- 

quant optuma. 

"I'm a Procurer" 1 . AESCH. True. SA. And in my way 
" Of as good faith as any man alive." 

It has been further faid, that the foliloquy of Joan of Hedington 
in the fecond Scene of the firft Aft, and her expreffions in the 
fecond Scene of the third Aft, are too lofty for her character. 
But this criticifm will wholly vanifh, when thefe lines of Horace's 
Art of Poetry n are thoroughly confidered ; and it will be allowed 
that Comedy upon occafion may admit of elevated expreffions. 

Verfibus exponi Tragicii res Comica non *vult : 

Indignatur enim pr'watis ac prope focco 

Dignis carminibus narrari ccena Tbyefta, 

Singula quxque locum teneant fortita decent er, 

Interdum tamen ? t'ocem Comcedia tollit, 

Iratufque Chremes tumido delitigat ore. 

Which is thus tranflateci by Mr. Creech, with his ufual im- 
provement and brightnefs : 

" A Comic Story hates a Tragic ftyle, 

t( Bombaft fpoils humour, and diflorts nfmile, 

if we may pronounce from their remains, we may venture to fay that the 
character was never fo finely painted in any part of their works as in the 
following lines of Shakefpeare : 

" Fie, firrah, a bawd, a wicked bawd ! 

* The evil that thou caufeft to be done, 

" That is thy means to live. Doft thou but think, 

" What 'tis to cram a maw, or cloath a back, 

" From fuch a filthy vice ? Say to thyfelf, 

" From their abominable and beaftly touches, 

" I drink, I eat, array myfelf, and live ! 

" Canft thou believe thy living is a life, 

<( So ftinkingly depending ! Go, mend, mend !" 

Meajurc for Mtafure. 

m He fays this to ^Efchines, to intimidate him, alluding to the privi- 
leges allowed to the Romans at Athens, on account of the profit ac- 
cruing to :herepublick from their traffick in flaves. It was forbidden to 

hero, on pain of difinheritance. COIMAN. 
Ver. 89. 

" And 


" And tragical Tbyeftes' barbarous feait "I 

" Scorns mean and common words, and hates a jeft : f 
Let every fubjeft have what fits it beft. * 

" Yet Comedy may be allow'd to rife, 
" And rattle in a paffion or furprize." 

1 hope it will give no offence, that Mr. Cole, Aft II. Scene i. 
amongft the terrible things which he fuppofes to be at Shotover, 
declares that he fhould not be frighted if camels were ;there ; 
whereas a camel is an innocent harmlefs creature. But it muft 
be confidered, that the notion that he had raifed to himfelf of a 
camel was imprelled upon his imagination from the fight he had 
had of them in old tapeftry hangings, and might therefore think 
they had a phyfical terribility equal to their bulk. But I muft 
refrain j and omit the defence of particular expreffions, various 
readings, &c. and beg the Reader's kkd acceptance of thcfq 
endeavours, as being, &c. 

A. D. 1712, 


f 16 3 

O F 


In Imitation of SHAKESPEARE. 


S~> ALL ANTS, we here prefent you with a Play, 

The product of a country holiday. 
'Tis ufual now with Prologues to be witty. 
But we are not ; good faith, the more the pity ! 
Our Play won't make you laugh, nor make you cry, 
For 'tis a perfect Tragi-comecly. 
\Ve have no hopes for this our homely treat, 
But that, for being fhort, you'll think it fweet. 


SCENE, The High Street in HEDINGTON. 

Enter Mother SHEPHARD and the CHURCHWARDEN, 


YNDEED, Mr. Churchwarden, as I was faying before, this 
,1 fame Joan of Hedington is a naughty woman. 

CHURCH w. I cannot help it, Neighbour. 

M. SHEP. She does not keep a civil houfe, and is a difgrace to 
the town; for Gentlemen dare not come to my houfe to drink, 
for fear they Ihould be thought to go to Joan's. 

CHURCHW. Have you good ale, Mother? 

M. SHEP. Yes, that I have, marry, 

CHURCH. Why then, people will come, for all Joan, I war- 
rant you. But I muft go fetch up the cows, Ha ! here are 
Gentlemen a coming. 


M. SHEP. He ! a pox on them ! They are going to Franalin's. 
However, I have got fome good North-country cuftomers ftill ; 
and here are two of them coming. 

Enter Father CLERKENWELL and Mr. ATSON. 

M. SHEP. You are very welcome, Maflers : I am glad to 
fee you. 

F. CLERK. Have you got good ripe ale, Mother? 

M. SHEP. Yes, indeed, Sir : but I have but a little. 

ATS. How much ? 

M. SHEP. A dozen and a half. 

F. CLERK. What is that between us two? But come, let us 
go in. Wafli the two-quart mug, for I am a-dry ; two of them 
may quench my thirft a little for the prefent. Stay, give us a 
quarter of tobacco. [Exeunt* 

A C T II. S C E N E t. 

SCENE, The High Street. 

JOAN, "\ /I" ARR Y come up, you are fo proud with your 
1V1 black bag ! 

HARRIS. Well, it was none of your money paid for it. 

JOAN. But your daughter's did. You are fo proud of that 
minxs, and think to fpoil my cuftom ! But I would have you 
to know that I am founder than e'er a Harris of you all. 

HARRIS. You founder ! I would have you to know, I fcorn 
to let fuch pitiful rogues come into my houfe as you have to 
do with. 

JOAN. I would have you to know, I have as good cuftomers 
come to my houfe as any woman in Hedington no difgrace to 
you, Goody Harris. 

M. HARRIS. Sure you might have had a Miftrefs under your 
girdle when you fpoke to me, hufley. 

o N. B. Joan wore a Hat. and Mother Harris a Hood. KIN<J. 


JOAN. Huffey me no huffey, Mrs. Slopdawdry. I will pull 
your black bag for you. I am a better woman than yourfelf. 
I have been an old Parifhioner here, and gone to church, and 
all the town know I have been honeft in my calling ; and to be 
abufed by fuch a goffip as you, that are come to put off" your 
pocky ware in our parifh ! 

M. HARRIS, No more pocky ware than yourfelf. 

JOAN. You lye, you Whore. I'll tear your eyes out. 

[Fall a fighting, JOAN beats Mother HARRIS off the Stage, 
calling her Whore and Bitch, the other crying. 

SCENE II. The High Street. 

Let's view the mighty aft which I have done : 
The thing is worthy Joan of Hedington. 
I, that have favour'd youngfters many a fcore, 
Was ne'er affronted at this rate before 
By fuch an upftart, tawdry, pocky wkore ; 
She from the Maggoty Pie away was fenr, 
Becaufe fhe had not trade to pay her rent. 
At Hinkfey then they would not let her flay, 
Becaufe fhe kept a bawdy-houfe, they fay ; 
But now, I think, I've given the whore her due. 
Shall I be biijjled by a bitch like you ? 

No, I have beat her, and the drab is gone : ~\ 

I will reign miftrefs of this place alone, 
And be the topping dame of Hedington. j 

But: I think I had bcffc go home, and drink a dram of brandy. 

[Exit JOAN. 


SCENE, Mother HARRIS'S Houfe. 

Enter Mother HARRIS, FRANK HARRIS, and Mr. COLE. 

FRANK. r ~PMI I S is intolerable, that my mother fhould be 

JL abufed by fuch a drab as Joan of Hedington ! I 

will be revenged, Whatever it coft me. [Mother HARKIS groans. 



CoLE. Alas, my dear, torment thyfelf no more : 
And you, clear mother, ceafe to fob and groan. 
For, let me never more be happy made 
By the enjoyment of my lovely Frances, 
If I don't fatisfy your dire revenge. 

HARRIS. Ay, Mr. Cole, nothing could oblige me and my 
Daughter more, than if you would revenge me on that witch. 

FRANK. Ay, do, my dear; fludy how to revenge my mother 
of that witch. You are a fcholar : cannot you conjure? 

[CoLE walks about, mufwg. 

COLE. I'll break her windows windows me has none^ 
And then her lattice is not worth the breaking. 
I'll go and drink her brandy, and not pay her ; 
But not to pay for't would be ungenteel, 
And I can ne'er be guilty of a thing 
That does not favour of a gentleman. 
But flay 

1 have a friendfhip with a certain man, 
Cunning and clofe, and trufty to his friend> 
Pindar, my eyes delight, my other felf ; 
He promis'd me, that, difputations done, 
He'd take a walk, and meet me at this place. 
Oh, for his coming now, when moft I want him ! 
He'll find a fpeedy way to my revenge, 
And gratify my mother and my miftrefs. 
Two heads are always wifer far than one, 
And, when to mine his counfels fhall be join'd, 
We'll plague this faucy Joan, with force united. 

I believe, Mrs. Frances, it would do your mother good, to drink 
fome of this warm flip. 

M. HARRIS. I cannot drink flip, if it was flip of gold, till I 
am revenged. 

FRANK. Dear Mr. Cole, help my mother but in this one 
bufmefs; and I will love you better than "ever I did Mi 1 .' 

COLE. Blcffing attend you for this lad expreffion ! 
O what a vaft reward is this you promife ! 
Thy love, for which I many a time would die, 
Is to be gain'd now upon eafy terms. 
Were Joan on t'other fide of Shotover, 

C i A*<i 


And all the way ftuck full of bears and lions ; 
'Were fnakes and camels there, and living toads, 
I'll fetch her, though fix giants ftood to guard her. 
This I could do alone, with Tingle ftrength. 
But, when I lhall have Pindar's force and counfel, 
I'd dare indeed what would I not dare then ? 

HARRIS. I think you muft carry me to the bed, to lie down 
a little. 

FRANK. Pray, mother, flay a little: here is Crendon the 

M. HARRIS. Mufic encreafes melancholy thoughts : 
But brings no eafe to minds opprefs'd with grief. 

[They cany her off. 

Enter Father CLERKENWELL and ATSON. 

F. CLERK. Here, who is within here? Give me a quartern 
of brandy. 

ATS. And me another. Joan, we muft go up t\\?.Jtone flairs. 

JOAN. Hold, two words to a bargain. You owe me a groat 
for laft time. 

F. CLERK. Joan, where's your helper ? 

JOAN. She is gone a hay-making. 

F. CLERK. Well then, I will go to Mother Harris. 

Jo AN. -Rather than that, I will do any thing, 
Wipe off old fcores, and let you run on new. 
1 freely do forgive the groat you owe me. 
B\it mention not, oh, fpeak not any more 
That odious, filthy, pocky name of Harris ; 
For, when I hear it once, my curdled blood 
Chills at my heart, and trembles in my veins. 
Be'nt fo \inkind, dear Clerky, to go thither; 
I vow you make me weep with your unkindnefs. 

F. CLERK. I be'nt unkind, Joany ; I vow, you make me cry 
too. I wo'nt go, Joany, I wo'nt. 

ATS. No, he ^flian't go. Come, let us all three go up ftairs, 
and be friends; and bid your hulband burn us a pint of brandy. 




A C T IV. S C E N E I. 

SCENE, A Field adjacent to Mother HARRIS'S Hvuft. 
Enter Mr. PINDAR and Mr. COLE. 

PJND. T T ELL you, friend, from henceforth be at eafe. 

A The lovely Frances foon ihall be your own, 
And Mother Harris have her wifh'd revenge. 

COLE. Thou beft of friends, let me embrace thee clofe; 
Let's both away, and perfeft thy defign. 

FIND. Hold, you muft flay behind; I'll aft alone, 
To fhew how much Pindar will do for Cole. 
You, in my abfence, comfort up your mother, 
Put fugar in her ale, 'twill eafe her grief; 
And you and gentle Frances fearch the hen-rooft, 
That, when I bring home news of your revenge, 
With a large difli you lovers may be ready 
In eggs and bacon to proclaim my welcome. 
But, hold, I want a rope. 

COLE. Here's one lies ready. 

FIND. Tis well. Good-bye. [Exeunt. 

COLE. Now, ye propitious ftars, be guides to Pindar! 
For never man fo freely undertook 
To ferve his friend in fuch a dangerous moment ! 

SCENE IJ. Mother HARRIS'S Parlour. 
Enter FRANK HARRIS leading Mother HARRIS, and Mr. COLC. 

M. HARRIS. Lord \ Mr. Cole, that fugared ale was very goqd. 
I did not care if we had the other flaggon. 

Enter Mrs. FRANKLIN, 

Mrs. FRANKL. I am forry to fee you fo ill, Mrs. HarrlSj 
that famine Joan's a fawcy huffey, fhe beat me one day too 

COLE. Ah, Mrs. Franklin, this is kindly done, to come to 
comfort us in our diftrefs. 

M. FRANKL. I am willing to do any neighbourly kindnefs. 
Lord ! forfooth, you are black and blue : you muft put on fomc 
wet brown paper. 

COLE. [Afide to FRANK HARRIS.] This Mrs. Franklin is 

a very good woman 5 fhe underftands chirurgery, I fee. Will 

you pleafc to walk in, and drink, Mrs. Franklin? [Exeunt* 

C 3 ACT 

zz J O A N O F H E D I N G T O N. 

A C T V. S C E N E I. 
I A M glad they arc gone ; they were two Twinging fellows. 

Enter Mr. PINDAR. 
PIND. How do you do, Joan ? 

JOAN. Pretty well, Sir; though, I mud beg your pardon, J 
ilo not remember your name. 

PIND. I believe not. I was never here before. But Mr. 
Hopman, of Cripfy, recommended me to you for a gill of brandy, 
and a firk or two up the Jione Jtairs, little Joan up the Jlone 
flairs, little Joan. 

JOAN. Will you pleafc, Sir, to have your brandy before you 
go up, or burnt againft you come down ? 
PIND. Againft I come down, little Joan. 

SCENE II. JOAN'S Chamber, 
Mr. PIKVAV. folus. 

I'll do it ; and yet methinks my heart relents. 
Why Ihould I murder her that never hurt me ? " 
Not me, indeed : but furc my friend is me, 
And, fmcc this Joan has dar'd to be fo bold 
To injure Cole, fhe muft have injur'd Pindar. 
Hence then compafTion and all tender thought? ; 
For Mother Harris foon fhall be reveng'd, 
And by this hand of mine. 

Enter JOAN. 
My dear, come fit down upon the bed, little Joany. 

[Asjhe is going to fit down, be tc/et the 

nooj'e of the rope o-~ver her bead. 
JOAN. What is this for? 
PIND. No hurt, little Joany J no hurt ! 

[He pulh the ncofe, and ties kei- up to the beam. 
'Tid done, and now I'll inflantly to Cole, 

And bring him joyful news of his revenge'. [Exit. 




CHURCHW. Lord, mother, have you heard the news? 

M. SHEPH. No, not I : what news ? 

CHURCHW. Why, there is fuch a clutter about Joan's door, 
you would admire at h ; poor Joan has been almoft hanged. 
A Scholar came and tied her up to a beam in her chamber ; and, 
if her hufband had not come and cut her clown, flic had beeu 
hanged by this time. 

M. SHEPH. Well, 1 always faid flie would come to a bad end.; 
it "is but what fhe deferves, for being fuch a whore. 

CHURCHW. Well, I am glad the poor woman is not hanged, 
for all that. 

M. SHEPH. Women, whofe honour fhould be flLll their guide, 
When once they give it up, and go afide, 
Into a numerous maze of mifchiefs run, 
As may be feeu by Joan of Hedington ! 


f\ U R Play is done ; and, if it chance to pleafe, 

We fhall be mighty glad, and much at cafe ; 
But, if it fhould not pleafe you, Sirs ! what then ? 
Why our young Poet ne'er will write again ; 
for he's as proud and furly as old BEN ! 



Some Account of HORACE'S Behaviour during his Stay 
ODE to entreat his Departure thence. Together 
with a Copy of his Medal, taken out of TRINITY 
COLLEGE Buttery, by a Well-wifher to that 

HAVING had Come intimacy with Horace, and likewife an 
acquaintance with feveral of the Fellows of Trinity College, 
I have been fo curious as to colleft fome particulars concerning 
his ftay and behaviour at that place ; where he lay indeed, and 
eat and drank at the Matter's lodge ; but his apartment was mag- 
nificently fitted up, and his entertainment profufely provided for, 
at the coft of the Fellows and Scholars. He declared often, that 
his mind had prefaged to him that he fliquld come into Great 
Britain, from the very time he wrote the Thirty-fifth Ode of his 
Firft Book, to Fortune, where he implores her to preferve Caefar 
in his journey and voyage to Britain : 
O Diva, gratum qua regis Antium, 
Prafens vel imo taller e de gradu 
Mortals corpus, velfuperbos 

fertere funeribuj triumpbo), &c. 
" Great Goddefs, Antium's guardian power, 
" Whofe force is ftrong and quick to raife 
The loweft to the higheft place ; 
" Or, with a wondrous fall, 

" To briqg the haughty lower, 

" And turn proud triumphs to a funeral, ff." CREECH. 
Serves iturum Cafarem in ultima 
OrbisEritannos, etjuvenum recens 
Examen, Eo'is timendum 

Partitas, Oceanoque rubro. 
" Preferve great Caefar ! Czfar leads 
" To diftant Britain. Guide his fate, 
" And keep the glory of our ftate, 
" The youth that muft infeft 
" With arms the haughty Medes, 
f And fcafter fears and flavery through the EaiV 



And he aftually prophefied concerning his coming into Britain 
in the Fourth Ode of his Third Book ; where he declares he 
would undertake that voyage, by the help of the Mules, though 
he was naturally afraid of the fea, and a great cow ard according 
to his own character : 

Utcunque mecum vos eritis : libens 

Infanlentem navita Bojporitm 
Tentabo, et arentes arenas 
Littoris Affyrii 'viator. 

Yifam Britannos bofpitibus feros, 

Et Iff turn equiao f anguine Concanum. 
Pijam pbaretratos Gtlonos, 

Et Scytbicum inviotatus amnem. 

Whilft you my feeble fhip fhall guide, 

*' I'll fingly ftem the proudeft tide : 

" I'll travel through the fartheft Eaft, 

*' Where never mortal foot hath preft j 

" Britain's inhofpitable flood, 

" And Thracians pleas'd with horfes blood, 

" On Scythian fands I'll boldly tread, 

" And ftoutly fee the quiver'd Mede." CREECH. 

But in (hort, it feems, Horace would go any where for good 
ntertainment ; and, as their ill fate would have it, came to Trinity 
College, to exercife their hofpitality j which he has done to fome 
purpofe, as will appear hereafter. Whihl he was at Rome, he 
familiarly told Albius Tibullus 3 in the Fourth Epiflle of his Firii 

Me pinguem, et nitidum bene citrata cute <vifes, 
S^uem rider e voles, Epicuri de grege par cum. 
*' Then come and fee me now grown plump and fine, 
4t When you would laugh at one of Epicurus' fwine." 


He is much improved fince that time, and is become totus teres 
etque rotundu?, as round as a bowl, or die hoop of a tierce of 
claret ; fo that, when the Fellows faw this black unwieldy out- 
landifii pig come into their " kitchen-garden (which the College 
*' Cooks ufed to have for pot-herbs, fallads, &c. but has fmcc 
*' been forcibly difpofed of [by the Mailer], by taking the key 
*' and giving it to one of the Fellows* exprefsly againft the con- 



"Tent of the Seniors P;" they might apprehend, in the very worlt 
fenfc of the proverb, that " a hog was got into their peafe ;" for 
be ravaged them like an Irifh cocherer y who never departs ac 
long as he can find a fingle potatoe. 

When he firfl came, lie cried out againft merchants, for im- 
porting wine, and drinking out of plate ; and gave in his hill 
of fare very fparingly. Some chicory, mallows to loofen his 
body, and now and then a few olives, were all that he defired ; 
and would often repeat thefe verfcs of the Thirty-firft Ode of his 
FirflBook: - 

diies et aureis 
Mfrcator exjiceet culullh 

Vina Syr a reparata merce, 
Diis carus ipjis ; quippe ter et qitater 
Anno revifens aquor Atlanticum 
Impune: me pafcuitt oliva:. 
Me tichorea, levefque maha. 

" The merchant now, come fafe to land, 
*' In golden goblets quaffs the wine, 

" His Syrian wares and voyage gain'd. 
" He chiefeft darling of the Gods j 

" For twice a year he plows the main, 
* He rides the proud Atlantic floods, 

*' And yet makes fafe returns again. 
" Me cbicory and olives feed, 

*' Me loofening mallows nobly feaft ; 
" They give what Nature's wants can need, 

" And kindly fill the eafy gueft." CREE-CH. 

But foon afterwards he fhews himfelf not to be fo eafy a gucft ; 
and declares himfelf for " banquets," Noi con<vivia ; for rum- 
maging, carelefihefs, and debauchery : 

Nos con-vrvia, not prcelia Virginia* 

Seflh injipvenes nnguibus acrium 

Cantamus, i>acui,Ji<ve quod urimur, 

Non prater folitum leves. Od. I. vi. 

P See Remarks upon a Letter, by Mr. Miller, Fellow of Trinity 
College, p. 69. KING. 

" J fing 

HORACE'S B E H A V I O U R, &c. aj 

" I fmg foft boys and virgins wars, 
" How foon they fmile, how angry foon : 
" Wirh clofe-par'd nails and render tooth, 
" They all invade the ruffling youth ; 

" Thus urge my frolick on, 
" And bid farewell, a long farewell, to cares." 
Then there was nothing to be heard of from him, but 
" Hang forrow, caft away care ; 
" The College is bound to find us : 
" For you and I and all muft die, 
" And leave the world behind us !" 

Or elfe, as Mr. Creech has paraphrafed upon the Ninth Ode of 
the Firft Book, in the true ftrain of a Ballad, 
" All cares and fears are fond and vain, 

" Fly vexing thoughts of dark to-morroiu : 
What chance fcores up, count perfect gain; 

" And banifh bufmefs, banifh forrow." 

And then Horace would repeat twenty Songs to the fame pur- 
pofe, which appear in his Works, and are tranflated by his ad- 
mired Friend Mr. Creech ; for, during his flay in College, he 
gained fome fmattering in the Engliih ; and, being informed that 
Mr. Creech, who had tranflated his Works, was the fame perfon 
who had tranflated Lucretius, he had a great veneration for him, 
for having, as far as in him lay, propagated the Epicurean princi- 
ples : for Horace had always a bent to that Philofophy rather 
than any other, notwithstanding his pretended recantation, which 
he publimed in the Thirty fourth Ode of his Firft Book, 
Parcui Deorut;i citltor, et infrequent) 
Infanientis dumfapientia 

Confultus erro : nunc retror/um 
Vela dare, atque ittrare curfus 

Cogor relifios. 

" J, that but feldom did adore, 
" I that no God but Pleafure knew, 
" Whilft madj'hilofophy did blind, 
" And Epicurus fool'd my rnind, 
" Muft keep that impious courfe no more, 
*' But turn my fails and fteer anew." 

He pretended to have been converted by a clap of thunder, or 
J^rhaps took the advice of a grave perfon, whofc maxim it is, 

" that 


that a man fhould have the face of religion, for it would do 
" him fervice in the world." But I Qcver heard that Horace, 
\vhilft in College, ".kept Chapel l" him felt; but that he has 
hindered other perfons from minding Divinity, which fhould 
have heen their proper fludy, rather than to find out que's, and 
atque's, and fuel's, and necs, and nequis, at the expencc of a 
thoufand pounds a year and upwards, dcfigned for much better 
ufcs than to correct an old Latin Song-book, not to fay worfe of 
it, notwithflanding all the graces and beauties of its language. 

During his flay, he took every opportunity to recommend drink- 
ing and pleafure. Was it Spring-time, that was moft proper : 
Sol-vitur acris Hyems grata vice Peris, et Fa<voni ; 

'Trahuntque ficcas macbina carinas : 
At neque jamftabulis gaiidet pecus, aut arator igni, 

Necfrata can'u albicant pruinis, Od. I. iv. 

And 'therefore, as Mr. Creech fays, he advifes his Friend to live 
merrily : 

" Sharp Winter melts, Favonius fpreads his wing, 

" A pleating change, and bears the Spring : 
" Dry mips drawn down from flocks now plow the main, 

" And fpread their greedy fails again : 
" Nor flails the ox, nor fires the clown, delight ; 

" And fields have lofl their hoary white." 

For, according to this Author, the Spring makes him thirfly ; 
and he attributes his defire of liquor more to the feafon, than his 
own inclination : 

Jam Veris comites, qua mare temperant, 
Jmpellunt anim* lintea Thracia : 
Jam necprata rigent, nee fliwii Jlrepunt 
Hybernd ni-ve turgidi, &c. 

Adduxere fit'im tempora, Virglli : 
Sed pre/um Calibus ducere Liberum 
Si gefli! , juvenum nobilium diem 

Nardo <vina merebere. Od. IV. xii. 

*' The foft companions of the Spring, 

" The gentle Thracian Gales, 
" Spread o'er the Earth their flowery wing, 

" And fwell the greedy merchant's fails : 
^ Remarks upon a Letter, &c. p. 141. r r^d. 

" The 


" The ftreams, not fwoln with melted fnow, 

" In fair maeanders play ; 
" To quiet feas they fmoothly flow, 

" And gently eat their eafy way, &c. 

" The Seafon, Virgil, brings us thirft ; 

" And, if you mirth defjgn 
" With noble youths, bring ointment firft, 

" And I'll provide thee racy wine." CREICH. 

But Winter was the feafon he moft delighted in, which was the 
time for jollity, not only for profufenefs in drink, but in firing, 
<vetuJ1is extruat lignli focum. Epod. if. 

Then the fire was to be built high with dry and blazing logs ; 
and then he ufed to ftir up his friends to mirth, with his Thirteenth 
Epode : 

Horrida tempeftas ccelum contraxit ; tt imbres 
, Nivefque deditcunt Jtrvem, &c. 

The latter part of which has been fince tranflated into that com- 
mon but chearful fong, 

" Old Chiron thus preach'd to his pupil Achilles ;" 
which concludes to this purpofe, 

" But, all the while you lie before the town, 
" Drink, and drive care away; drink, and be merry : 
" You'll ne'er go the fooner to the Stygian Ferry. 
And, amidft his plenteous cups, he would ftill be commanding to 
lay on more fire. Who is there ?" Bring " coals, billets, turf, 
" fedge, charcoal*, anything; but do. not Itt us ftarve." And 
tlien he would break out into thefe words of the Ninth Ode of 
his Fiift Book, 

yides t ut alrdjtet ni-ve candidum 
Sorafff, nee jam fuftincant onus 
Sjlvte laborantei : gelxque 
Frigora conjliterint acuto ? 

Dij/bl-ve frigut, ligna fuper foco 
Large reponens : atque benignius 
Deprome quadrimum Sabind, 
Oh Tbaliarcbe, merum diotd. 

* Remarks upon a Letter, $cc. p. x$f , 


" See ho\y the hills arc white with {"now, 

' The feas are rough, the woods are toft, 
The trees beneath their burthen bow, 

" And purling flreams are bound in rroft. 
' Dillblve the cold with noble wine, 

' Dear friend, and make a rouzing fire ; 
'Gainft cold without, and care within, 

JL,et both with equal force confpire." CREECH. 

One of Horace's qualities was, that he never wanted to go 
home, but would keep up his company till fun-rifing, as he tells 
us in the Twenty-firft Ode of his Third Book : 
Vivaque producent lucerne, 

Dum rediens fugat aftra Phoebus. 

The Reader mufl pardon the want of a Tranflation to thcfe 
verfes, becaufe Mr. Creech tells us in his Preface, " That fome 
* principles he had made him cautious of fome Odes, and that 
he had parted by three more upon a different account." I 
cannot tell upon what account ; but this Ode happened to be fa 
unfortunate as to be one of them. 

Although he protended to be no newsmonger or politician, 
nor to concern himfelf how the war was managed, or wlio paid 
taxes, fo he enjojsed his eafe and pleafure ; 

g>yid bellicofus Cantaber, & Scythes, &c. Od. II. xi. 

" What fierce Cantabrians, what the Scythians dare, 
Make, friend, no objeft of thy care, &c." 
yet he was a religious obferver of all public rejoicings for any 
yi&ory; he never failed to be the moft zealous affiftant at a 
gawdy 1 or a bonfire. At fuch times, he ufed to be the ring- 
leader of his companions ; and this was generally the beginning 
and burthen of his Song: 

Nunc eft bibendum, nunc pede libera 
Pulfanda tellus s nunc Satiaribus 
Ornare pul-vinar Deorum 

Tempus erat dapibus, fodales. Od. J. xxxvii.. 

" Now, now, 'tis time to dance and play, 
" And drink, and frolick all the day ; 

t A feaft, a ftftival, a day of plenty j a word flill ufed in the 
trturerfities, JOHNSON. 


" 'Tis time, my friends, to banifh care ; 
' And coftly feafts 
*' With thankful hearts prepare 

* In hallow'd fhrines, and make the Gods your guefts." 
It feems, he was more peculiarly accuftomed to obfervc dbe 
Firft of March, for many years together. 

Martiis c celebs quid agam Kalendis, 

>uid velint fares, et acerra thnris 

Plena, miraris, &c. Od. UL via. 

" What I, a Batchelor, intend, 

" My learned Lord, and noble friend, 

" In Mart his Calends, you admire ; 

' What mean thofe flowers tkat crown my head, 

" The coals on green turf altars laid, 

" Where in fmall cenfers thankful fweets expire." 


And tlien lie was fo raodeft as to afe Maecenas to lay aftde 
thoughts of public bufinefs : 

Negligens, ne qua populus laboret ; 

farce privates nimium cavere. 

" Negleft the various turns of flate, 

" The fports of chance, or nods of fate :" IbiA. 

and to defue him to drink a hundred cups to his heakh, and fit 
up till day-light; which was hut a moderate requeft for fo greac 
a man to do for fuch a friend. 

Sume, Macfnas, cyatbos amid 

Sofpitis centum, et vigiles luceraas 

Perfer in lucem. 

** Let watching tapers chafe the night, 

** And rifing morn reftore the light." Ibid. 

Horace was refolved to keep up the good cuftom in England, 

though it was after fomething a different way from what he ufc4 

to do at Rome. A friend of his, coming into his chamber on. 

the Calends of March, which is more generally known by the 

Title of " St. David's-day," found him very complaifatit to the- 

feafon. Inftead of his vefTel of old ivine, he was very plentifully 

provided with a cragg of Weljb ale , inflead of the " flowers that 

" uied to crown his head," he had got a prpdigioufly over-growa 

5 **. 


feck m his hat ; and the " thankful fvveets" were much more 
fctbfa&orily fupplied with the odour of a dozen of warm crufU 
and a whole cheefe toafting before the fire. 

He was of a flattering temper ,- and there was no trufting to 
Urn, or any perfon that belonged to him. He that promifes 
over-much is fure to perform nothing. At one time no perfoa 
was fo great with him as Maecenas, as we fee by the Seventeenth 
Ode of his Second Book, where he takes an horrible oath, that 
he will sfluredly " die the fame day with Maecenas j" and that 
nothing fhould part them, not even the " breath of the fire- 
fpitting Chimaera," nor the forces of " the hundred-handed 
Gyas :" but there was nothing of all this (as well as fome 
other things) to be depended on. 

As he grew daily more unweildy, fo he fell into the Dutch 
faftion; and was extremely pleafed with a Book I had then by 
me, but is fmce loft, which was an Edition of his Odes and 
Epodes, in a fair character, with a tranflation on the other fide 
into Dutch profe. It might be very elegant for aught I know, 
being not much converfant in that language ; all that I can 
remember of it is, 

O nata mecum confide Manila. Od. III. xxi. 

saa&ait SfiJijtt $eer flBanlius TBourgourtnaefler toaeff* 

I fancy it might not be improper for Horace to take a journey 
to Amfterdam, to fee what improvements he can make of him- 
felf in Holland. In the mean time, there was a prodigious and 
unufual confumption of bread, ale, and firing, in the lodge ; 
fo that the fellows made a public complaint. They thought 
they were not obliged to pay for Horace's maintenance, whilfr, 
he was recruiting himfelf with fome few emendations of his 
work. They alledged, " That if any Bcnefaclor, Farmer, or out- 
** lying Officer of the College, be invited to the table of the 
** Mafter, Major Fellows, or Scholars, the College is to bear the 
' charge ; but, if the Matter, or any Member of the College, 
" invite any elfe, he muft pay the College the vaiue of the dinner 
" or fupper u ." 

The entertainment of fuch a gueft as Horace ran the College 
to great expence, and the Mafter to great extravagance in his 
<Jcmands from the Fellows. 

* Renmks upon a Letter, Set, p. 164, 


Mr. Miller, in his " Remarks on the Letter," fays, " I will 
infert but one account of what the Mafter has taken, betides 
his ftatutable allowances, and that in the compafs of one year, 
though he was abfent about half the time w . 

1. s. d. 
Coals, 63 12 o 
Commencement-money, 6134 
Weftminfter Ele&ion, 500 
Chamber Rent, 24 o o 
Extraorclinaries, 47 10 8 
Matter's Gardener, 2 o o 
Billets, 17 20 
Turf and Sedge, 14 99 
Charcoal, 15 o o 
From thePANDOxATOR. 
Ale, 62 1 6 o 

1. s. <l. 
Small Beer, 45 o o 
Bread, 59 70 
Flour, 9 o o 
Bran, i 10 4 
Dove-houfe, 5 o o 
From the STEWARD. 
Linen, about 12 o o 
Audit Exceeding?, 400 
Brawn, 3 10 o 
Chandler, 10 o 6 
Extra Commons, 41 12 o 
Servants Commons, 7 
more than Statute, i zz ^ - 

* Dr. Bentley, who was appointed mafter of Trinity College, by king 
William, in 1700, to reflore difcipline and learning in that College, 
endeavoured it to an eminent degree, proceeding up to the bottom flem 
very directly, and examining every candidate for fcholarfhips and fel- 
lowfhips thoroughly, and feemed as nearly as poflible to have given every 
one the place he really deferved j but at an election for fellow/hips, 
about 1703 or 1704, he ventured/or wee only, as he faid, " to recede from 
" that excellent rule, Dttur D'lgnijfimo, " in favour of Mr. Stubbs, nephew 
to the vice-mafter. Thus, fays Mr. Whifton, " he broke in upon his 
" integrity, and I think he never after returned to it." He carried mat- 
ters with fo high a hand in the government of this college, that, in 
1709, a complaint was brought againft him, before Dr. John Moore, 
bifhop of Ely, as vifitor, by feveral of the fellows, who, in order to> 
have him removed from the mafterfhip, charged him with embezzling 
the public money, and other mifdemeanours. In anfwer to this, he pre- 
fented a defence to the Bifhop, which was published in 1710, under the 
title of " The prefent State of Trinity College," 8vo. } and thus began 
a lading quarrel, which, having the nature of a btllum intefrinum, was 
carried on, like other civil wars, with the moft virulent animofity on 
each fide, till, after above twenty years continuance, it ended at lai! in the 
Doctor's favour. There is a large account of this difpute, and a liil of the 
feveral books written about it, in the " Biographia Britannica." 

VOL. III. D "On 


" On the whole, this one year, befides his ftatute-table, a 
"lowances, and dividend, he took 454 /. 6 s. i d. j for one far- 
" thing of which there is no colour of ftatute . 

" And there are fix or feven of thofe Items, which, for any 
" tiring I can find, are original encroachments of his own ; and the 
reft he has enlarged to the degree of amazement. How much 
" bread, &c. he had in reference to the whole College, and as 
"much as two other Colleges vn the Univerfity ; and how much 
u in companion to former Matters ; is referved to the evidence 
" on the articles. One fingle article, that of his fire, which 
** amounts to no/. 3 s. f)d. is fo much, that fcarce any Noble- 
ft man in England, I believe no Archbifhop, fpent the like ia 
<J the time. Tin's fuel muft be fold, or otherwife embezzled ; for, 
" if lie had kept a continual fire in every chimney of his lodge 
*' all that time, it could not have confumed fo much." 

The fame Author goes on to fliew, p. 1 70, how much the 
Matter exceeded the account of Mountague, in the following par- 
ticulars, for feveral years : 


1707 For Coals for 7 

the Lodge, i 

Billets for die Lodge, 
Turf and Sedge, 
Billets for both Afiizes, 
Pigeon-meat, j 

1708 Flour, n Bufhels, 9 
Bread, 59 

1. s. d. 

77- 14 8 

63 6 8 

76 ID o 

3 * * 


15 7 o 
10 6 

3 5 

6 o 


Anno 1. s. d. 

1708 Billets for the? 

Lodge, i I7 2 

Turf and Sedge, 14 9 q 

Billets for both Affizes, 3 o o 

Small Beer, i oo Barrels, 45 o o 

Ale, 314 Craggs, 62 60- 

1709 Flour; 13 7 
Bumels, i Peck, i 

Bread, 33 6 o 

Small Beer ,,101 Barrels, 45 9 o- 

Ale, 38 Craggs, 17 iz o 

It may feem very extraordinary that one fingle perfon fhould 
in a year expend *8 4 /. 6 /. i d. in bread, beer, and firing ; but, 
I think, I have abundantly juftified the Matter, in (hewing that he 
had a Gutfl vvtio was al>le to confume that and much more. But 
then it w;v; for the credit of the Society, that they once enter- 
tained a pei ton of that eminence; and it will redound to their 
immortal honour, not 0% in Great Britain, but throughout all 
Europe. However, the young lads, as they will be gibing and 
fcoffing at their betters, would often accoft Horace with thefe 

liaes of his own, at the end of the Second Epiftle of his Second 
Book ; telling him, that gaiety was more proper for their youth 
than his age ; and therefore dcfired him to ruflicate himfelf, and 
retreat to his own fly : 

Lufifti fatif, edifti fails, atque bibifti : 
Tempits abire tibi eft, tie potutn largitu tfquo 
Rideat, tt pulfet lafci-va decentius atas x . 

Thefe verfes not being tranflated by Mr. Creech, whofe tranf- 
lation may likewife be deficient in other particulars ; I fliall pre- 
fent the Reader with a Paraphrafe of thefe lines, and a Medal of 
Horace, in his prefent bulk and proportion. 

Advice to HORACE, to take his Leave of TRINITT 

HORACE, you now have long enough 

At Cambridge play'd the fool : 
Take back your criticizing fluff 

To Epicurus' School. 
But, in excufe of this, you'll fay, 

You're fo unwieldy grownj 
That, if amongfl that herd you lay; 

You fcarcely fhould be known. 
How many butter'd crufls you've toft, 

Into your weem fo big, 
That you're more like (at College coft) 

A porpoife than a pig. 

^ * Thefe lines kave, with the mod beautiful imagery, been applied to 
himfelf by one of the politeft Criticks oftheprefent age, mtheclofe of an 
admirabl " Diflertation on the Idea of UnivCrfal Poetry." 

Where BEN r LEY late tumultuous wont to fport 
In troubled waters, but now fleepi in port : 
The mighty Scholiaft, whofe unwearied pains 
Made HORACE dull, and humbled MIL TON'S drains." 
See Dunciad, Book iv. ver. aoi,&c. The great SCR IBLERU* explains the 
fecond line " retired into harbour ;" but the learned SCIPIOMAFFE* 
onderftands it (and we cannot but fubfcribe to his opinion) of a certain 
mint, of which this Profeflbr invited him to drink abundantly. 

D * But 

S O M E A C C O tJ N T, &c. 
But you from head to foot are brawn, 

And fo from fide to fide : 
You meafure (were a circle drawn) 

No longer than you're wide. 




Then blefs me, Sir, how many craggs 

You've drunk of potent ale ! 
No wonder if the belly fwaggs, 

That's rival to a whale. 
E'en let the Fellows take the reft, 

They've had a jolly taller : 
But no great likelihood to feaft, 

'Twixt Horace and the Mafter. 

I (hall give a further account of the proceedings of Horace j 
which perhaps may difcover fome points of learning that have 
hitherto lain fecret. In the mean time, I entreat the Reader to 

accept of thefc, 

From, &c. 

t 37 3 


T O 



$uis Dives fahetur ? " What Rich Man can be faved ?" 

Proving it eafy for a Camel to go through the Eye of a Needle. 

Delivered at the Devil's Arfe of Peak b . 

WHEN we come to be " laid up in the fepulchres of our 
" fathers, die laft foge of our throne of mortality," the 


a Afcribed to Dr. King, on the authority of " Miscellaneous Poenvs, 
** Tranflations, and Imitations, by feveral Hands," published by Lintot, 
in ^ vols. izmo. 1720 ; the firft volume, by Pope, the Duke of Bucking- 
ham, Gay, Betterton, and Dryden j the fecond, by King, Smith, Dibben, 
Fenton, Yalden, Rowe, Southcott, Broome, Ward, and Daniel. The 
collection, though commonly afcribed to Mr. Pope, was entirely formed 
fcy Lintot. 

> This little piece evidently alludes to, and was occafioned by, the 
famous Sermon preached by Dr. White Kennet, afterward Bifhop of 
Peterborough, on the death of William the firft Duke of Devonfhire, 
and publiflied under the title of " A Sermon preached at the Funeral of 
" the Right Noble William Duke of Devonshire, in the Church of AU- 
" Hallows in Derby, on Friday, Sept. 5, 1707$ with fome Memoirs of 
" the Family of Cavendifh," 8vo. jycS. It gave great offence at the time 
of its publication ; and was very feverely animadverted upon by the 
well-known John D.unton, in a pamphlet entitled, " The Hazard of a 
" Death-bed Repentance, fairly argued, from the late Remorfe of William 
" late Duke of Devonfhire, with ferious Reflections, &c, &c. The whole 
t( refolving that nice Queftlon, H^w far a Deatb-btd Repentance it pejjibie 
" be fincere ? And is publiflied by way of Anfwer to Dr. Kennel's Set- 
" mon, &c." 8vo, 1708. This Sermon occafioned Mr. Pope to take 
.notice of Dr. Kennet in the following very ferere lines : 
" When fervile Chaplains cry, that birth and place 
" Indue a Peer with honour, truth, and grace ; 
" Look in that breaft, moft dirty Dean ! be fair ; 
*' Say, can you find out one fuch lodger there ?" 

Imitations of Horace, Book II. Ep. ii. ver. 220. 

Dr. Kennet was born Aug. 10, 1660; in June, 1678, was entered of 

Edmund Hall, Oxford j B. D. in May, 1683 } M. A. in 1685 ; D. D. in 

D 3 16995 


fituation feems to be fomewhat horrid <= : but, upon review, the 
" Elyfian vallies open with greater amazement, and the rocky 
monumental hills of marble, that hang over in a more aweful 
guard of it,-feem to be Art infulting Nature." It is not " parts, 
corrupted in the fineft head, on the furface of which ftravvs 
" and feathers may fwim, while weightier matters lie at the bot- 
" tom d ;" it is not " knowledge, defined by fometo be a bubble in 
" the water, a meteor in the air, or a tumor and fpe&acle ;" it is not 
" being of a fociety for promoting flock sand work-houfes, for erec- 
" ting parochial libraries*;" or writing" Parochial Antiquities V 
that can preferve us from having " gravel in our mouths e." Upon 
this deplorable occafion, although my writings have funk into 
contempt and difufe, yet I fhall once again attempt " a feri- 
ous and rational difcourfe," under thefe two " paradoxes," 
which " my love of fingulavity makes me fond to maintain." I 
lhall fliew, firft, how a good rich man may be never the worfe for 
living oddly. Secondly, I fhall explain the ufe of my plank h and. 
door, in all cafes of defperate extremities. 

As to the firft point. A good rich man " may allow himfclt 
' to climb up any hill within his reach ; to fatigue himfelf within- 
" doors ; to acquire heat, ajid expcll moifture ; -to take a com- 
" fortable breakfaft, and then walk round his lodgings ; to have a 
** dinner provided for him about twelve o'clock ; to have a candle 
" with ten or twelve tobacco-pipes before him ,- then to Ihut the 
" door, and fall a fmoaking and writing, and thinking how to 
digeft what he had fed upon ; to be jealous of being burnt for 
" a heretick, and afraid of the Bifhop of Sarum * ; to run beyond 

1699; in 1701, archdeacon cf Huntingdon. By the management of 
Bp. Burnetj he preached the above mentioned fermon in 1707; and, by 
the fuccceding duke's recommendation, obtained the deamy of Peter- 
borough; of which fee he was confecrated bishop, Nov. 9, 1718. He 
died Dec. 19, 1728. 

c See Dr. Kennel's Sermon, p. \. d p, 2 g. t p. jj. 

f Publifiied by Dr. Kennet, in 410, 1695. C Sermon, p. jz. h P. 34. 

i Dr. Seth Ward, who at one period of his life had f^oken of Mr. 
Hobbs's Writings in very favourable terms, but afterward wrote agaiuft 
them. In 1 66 1 he was made dean, and next year bifhop, of Exeter ; in 
1667 was tranflated to Salifbury ; and in 1671 made chancellor of the 
Garter, being the firft Proteftant Bifhop that ever was fo. He died Jan. 6, 
1688-9, aged 71, after having had for many years the misfortune tQ 
outlive his fenfcs. 


fea in a fright, and be driven back by the fame : not to endure 
" contradiction, or an empty houfe ; in his ficknefs, to ride upon 
u a feather-bed in a coach j to hate any thoughts or difcourfc of 
w death ,- to make himfelf a warm coat the winter before he dies i 
and if then he falls into a pit, to catch hold of one of die Devil's 
" cloven feet k ;" or of my plank, which, under the next head, I 
Jhall prove worth both of them. 

Far be it from me to deny, that gloves, fcarves, funeral ferment, 
and memoirs, c. are proper to be ufed at the obfequies of the 
dead, " who too often affect fecrecy and filence," as their exe- 
- cutors do " a parcimonious narrownefs of mind V But thefe arc 
things of an inferior confideration to my plank and wicket. Some 
philofophers " have been glad to creep out of the world at any 
** hole ; " but I have a new * door of hope for diem," provided 
" they be men of parts and figure, and will give me crape 
enough to " confecrate their memory" with my decorums. I have 
before infmuated, that a good rich witty man may do any thing 
but be damned. But I fee fome people pricking up their ears 
there. You, Goodman Two-flioes, and you, Gammer Twoflioes, 
and you, Tom Trap, and you, Dick Froft, and you, Goody 
Gurtoc, that have lain in ftraw ever fince your bed was taken 
away for plunder in the civil wars : let me tell you, you are 
" poor ftupid wretches j" your " duller flame will be more eafily 
" extinguished ; you meaner finful fcrubs are generally given 
" over to a reprobate mind ;" your barley-bread and peafe-pudding 
make you becwy and Jlupid; and, " if you do not take care, 
" you will die as flupidly as you lived." Therefore look to it, 
and begin to repent as foon as you can ; the fooner the better for 
you who are poor people. But Heaven forbid that I fhould 
preach this doctrine to you, Mr. Alderman OCCASI; ortoyou,Mr. 
ON -ALL the Recorder j to you, the worfhipful Mr. Juftice CON- 
FORM ; or to you, my honoured patronefs, Lady MITT ! You 
are gentlefolks all ; you are perfons of greateft wit, and wealth, 
and ability, in this rich and ingenious corporation ; whom I am. 
glad to fee at church now and then, as your leifure will permit 
you. I befeech you not to furmife that I mean the leaft part of 
this to your Honours. All that I mean is this : " Ordinary abilities 
" may be altogether funk by a long vicious courfe of life n ." But 

k All thefe circumftances are related by Dr. Kennct of the celebrated 
Mr. Hobbs. Sermon, &c. p. 107. 

1 P, 3. w A faying of Mr. Hobbs, p, u6, P. 35. 

D 4 it 

40 A N A N S W E R, &c. 

it is an undoubted maxim, " That perfons of diftinguiflied fenfc 
" and judgement, by their nobler and brighter parts, have an acU 
" vantage of underftanding the worth of their fouls before they 
" refign thenj." Therefore, Gentlefolks, I have referved for you 
an expedient, called (l A death-bed repentance." After you 
f have made jbipiureck of a good confciunce," I have a plank 
for you, upon which "one or two" (I believe I can make room 
for you four gentry) " may efcape ." But, do you hear, you 
*' meaner finful wretches," that do not fit upon cujfbions, and are not 
qfleep, and have no vote in the veftry ; it will be little comfort 
for you, in tliisjlorm, to " expeft the like deliverance." Confider 
what has beenfaid j and you will not haflily repent of what yo\v 
have heard. 

Sermon, p. 34. 







LETTERS to Dr. LISTER and Others 

Occafioned principally by the Title of a Book publifhed by 
the Doftor, being the Works of APICIUS COELIUS, 
" concerning the Soups and Sauces of the Ancients a . n 

With an Extraft of the greateft Curiofities contained 
in that Book. 

By the Author of THE JOURNEY TO LpNDON. 
Humbly infcrihecl to the Honourable BEEFSTEAK CLUB. 

a *' Apicius Ccclius, de Opfoniis, five Condimentij, five Arte Co 
f quinaria, Libri Decenfi. Amfltlvd. 1709," 8vo. 

t 43 ] 


T O 


IT is now-a-days the hard fate of fuch as pretend to be Au~ 
thors, that they are not permitted to be raafters of their own 
works ; for, if fuch papers (however imperfeft) as may be called 
a copy of them, either by a fervant or any other means, come to the 
hands of a Bookfeller, he never confulers whether it be for the 
perfon's reputation to come into the world, whether it is agreeable 
to his fentiments, whether to his ftyle or correctnefs, or whether 
he has for fame time looked over it } nor doth he care what name 
or character he puts to it, fo he imagines he may get by it. 

It was the fate of the following Poem to be fo ufed, and printed 
with as much imperfection and as many miftakes as a Bookfeller* 
$hat has common fcnfe could imagine fhould pafs upon the town, 
cfpecially in an age fo polite and critical as the prefent. 

Thefe following Letters and Poem were at the prefs fome time 
before the other paper pretending to the fame title was crept out : 
and they had elfe, as the Learned fay, groaned under the prefs till 
fuch time as the fheets had one by one been perufed and cor- 
rected, not only by the Author, but his Friends ; whofe judge- 
ment, as he is fenfible he wants, fo is he proud to own that they 
fometimes condefcend to afford him. 

For many faults, that at firft feem fmall, yet create unpardona- 
ble errors. The number of the verfe turns upon the harfhnefs 
of a fyllable ; and the laying a ftrefs upon improper words will 
make the moft correft piece ridiculous. Falfe concord, tenfes, 
and grammar, nonfcnfe, impropriety, and confufion, may go down 
with fome perfons ; but it Qiould not be in the power of a Book- 
feller to lampoon an Author, and tell him, " You did write all 
" this : I have got it ; and you fliall ftand to the fcandal, and I 
" will have the benefit." Yet this is the prefent cafe, notwith-? 
{landing there are above threescore faults of this nature ; verfej 
tranfpofed, fome added, others altered, or rather that fliould have 
been altered, and near forty omitted. The Author does not 


value himfelf upon the whole ; but, if he fhews his efteem for 
Horace, and can by any means provoke perfons to read fo ufeful a 
treatife; if he fhews Iris averfion to the introduction of luxury, 
which may tend to the corruption of manners, and declares his 
love to the old Bvitifh hofpitality, charity, and valour, when the 
arms of the family, the old pikes, mufkets, and halberts, hung 
up in the hall over the long table, and the marrow-bones lay on 
the floor, and " Chevy Chacc" and " The old Courtier of the 
Queen's" were placed over the carved mantle-piece, and the beef 
and brown bread were carried every day to the poor ; he defires 
little farther, than that the Reader would for the future give all 
fuch Bookfellers as are before fpoken of no manner of encourage - 


C 45 1 


T O 

Dr. L I S T E R and OTHERS. 


To Mr. 


TH E happinefs of hearing now and then from you extremely 
delights me ; for, I muft confefs, moft of my other Friends 
are fo much taken up with politicks or fpeculations, that cither, 
their hopes or fears give them little leifure to perufe fuch parts 
of Learning as lay remote, and are fit only for the clofets of the 
Curious. How bleft are you at London, where you have new 
Books of all forts ! whilft we at a greater diftance, being deftitute 
of fuch improvements, muft content ourfelves with the old flore, 
and thumb the Clafficks as if we were never to get higher than 
our Tully or our "Virgil. 

You tantalize me only, when you tell me of the Edition of a 
Book by the ingenious Dr. Lifter, which you fay is a Treatife 
De Condimentis & Opfonih Peterum, " Of the Sauces and Soups 
" of the Ancients," as I take it. Give me leave to ufe an ex- 
prefiion, which, though vulgar, yet upon this occafion is juft and 
proper :~ You have made my mouth water, but have not fent me 
wherewithal to fatisfy my appetite. 

I have raifed a thoufand notions to myfelf, only from the title. 
Where could fuch a treafure lay hid ? what Manufcripts liavc 
been collated ? under what Emperor was it written ? Might it not 
have been in the reign of Heliogabalus, who, though vicious 
and in fome things fantaftical, yes was not incurious in th grand 
affair of eating ? 

Confider, dear Sir, in what uncertainties \v maft remain at 
prefent. You know my neighbour Mr. Greatrix is a learned 



Antiquary. I fliewcd him your Letter j which threw him into 
fucU a dubioulhefs, and indeed perplexity of mind, that the next 
day he durfl not put any catchup in \\isfijb-fauce, nor have his 
beloved pepper, oil, and lemon, with his partridge, lelt, before he 
had feen Dr. Lifter's Book, he might tranfgrefs in ufing feme* 
thing not common to the Ancients. 

Difparch it, therefore, to us with all fpeed ; for I expect won- 
ders from it. Let me tell you ; I hope, in the firft place, it will, 
in fome meafure remove the barbarity of our prefent education t 
for what hopes can there be of any. progrefs in Learning, vvhilft 
our Gentlemen fuffer their fons, at Weftminfter, Eaton, and 
Winchefter, to eat nothing but fait with their mutton, and 
vinegar with their roaft beef,wpon holidays ? what extenfivenefs 
can there be in their fouls ; cfpecially when, upon their going 
thence to the Univerfity, their knowledge in culinary matters is 
feldom enlarged, and their diet continues very much the fame ; 
and as tofatttes, they are in profound ignorance ? 

ft were to be wHhed, therefore, that every family had a French 
tutor ; for, befides his being Groom, Gardener, Butler, and Valet, 
you would fee that he is endued with a greater accomplimment j 
For, according to an ancient Author, Styot Galli, tctidem Coqui, 
'* As many Frenchmen as you have, fo many Cooks you may de- 
pend upon ;" which is very ufeful, where there is a numerous 
Iffue. And I doubt not but, with fuch tutors, and good houfe- 
keepers to provide cake zn<.\f<weet-meats, together with the ten- 
der care of an indulgent mother, to fee that the children eat and 
dxink every thing that they call for ; I doubt not, I fay, but we 
may have a warlike and frugal Gentry, a temperate and auftere 
Clergy ; and fuch Perfons of Quality, in all ftations, as may beft 
undergo the. fatigues of UM\ fleet and armies. 

Pardon me, Sir, if I break off abruptly ; for I am going to 
Monfieur D'Avaux, a perfon. famous for eafing the tooth-ach by 
wulftoK. He has promifed to (hew me how to ftrike a lancet 
into the jugular of a carp, fo as the blood may iffue thence with 
the greateil effufion, and then will inftantly perform the operation 
of ftewing it in its own blood,, in the prefence of myfelf and 
feveral more Virtuofi. But, let him ufe what claret he will in 
the performance, I will fecure enough to drink your health and 
Oie veil of your friends. I remain, Sir, &c. 




To Mr. - 


1 SHALL make bokl to claim your promife, in your laft obliging 
Letter, to obtain the happinefs of my correfpondence with Dr. 
Lifter ; and to that end have fent you the encloied, to be com- 
municated to him, if you think convenient. 


To Dr. L I S T E R, prefenr. 

I A M a plain man, and therefore never ufe compliments ; but 
I muft tell you, that I have a great ambition to hold a cor- 
refpondence with you, efpecially that I may beg you to commu- 
nicate your remarks from the Ancients, concerning dentlfcalpt^ 
vulgarly called tooth-picks. 1 take the ufe of them to have been 
of great antiquity, and the original to come from the inftLn<9: of 
Nature, which is the beft miftrefs upon all occafions. Tka 
Egyptians were a people excellent for their Philofphical and 
Mathematical obfervations : they fearched into all the fprings of 
aftion ; and, though I mufl condemn their fuperftition, I cannot 
but applaud their invention. This people had a vaft diftric~r that 
worshiped the crocodile, which is an animal, whofe jaws, being 
very oblong, give him the opportunity of having a great many 
teeth ; and, his habitation and bufinefs lying moft in the water, 
he, like our modern Dutch lubhflers b in Southwark, had a very 
good ftomach, and was extremely voracious. It is certain that 
lie had the water of Nile always ready, and confequently the 
opportunity of vvafhing his mouth after meals ; yet he had farther 
occafion for other inftruments to cleanfe his teeth, which are 
ferrate, or like a law. To this end, Nature has provided an. 
animal called the ichneumon, which performs this office, and is 
fo maintained by the produfit of its own labour. The Egyptians, 
feeing fuch an ufeful fagacity in the crocodile, which they fa 
much reverenced, foon began to imitate it, great examples eafily 
irawjng the multitude,- fo that it bercame their conflant cuftora 
Whole tnter grounds arc nov almoft all built upon, 


to pick their teeth, and wafli their mouths, after eating. I can- 
not find in Marfliam's " Dynafties c ," nor in the " Fragments of 
** Manethon d ," what year of the moon (for I hold the Egyptian 
years to have been lunar, that is, but of a month's continuance) 
fo venerable "an ufage firft began : for it is the fault of great 
Philologers, to omit fuch things as are moft material. Whether 
Sefoftris, in nis large conquefts, might extend the ufe of them, 
is as uncertain ; for the glorious actions of thofe ages lay very 
much in the dark. It is very probable that the public ufe of 
them came in about the fame time that the Egyptians made ufe 
of juries. I find, in the Preface to the " Third Part of Modern 
* Reports," that " the Chaldees had a great efleem for the 

c Sir John Mar/ham was born Aug. 23, 1601; educated at Weft- 
rainfter, and fent from thence to St. John's College, Oxford. He ftudied 
the law at the Middle Temple, and was appointed one of the fix clerks in 
Chancery in 1638 ; was deprived of that place by the parliamentarians, 
butreftored to it by King Charles II, who knighted him in 1660, and 
made him a baronet three years after. The title of the learned Hiftorian's 
work here alluded to is " Canon Chronicus JEgyptiacus, Ebraicus, 
" Grzcus, &c." and is at once a proof of his great erudition, profound 
judgement, and indefatigable induftry. The firft edition of it was printed 
at London, in folio, 1672 ; it was re-printed at Leipfic, in 410, 1676} 
and again at Franeker, in 4to, 1696; and very foon rendered the au- 
thor's name famous throughout Europe. It is well known that the 
Egyptians, like the Chinefe, pretended to incredible antiquity ; and had, 
in the lift of their Dynafties, extended their chronology to 36,525 years. 
Thefe Dynafties had long been rejected as fabulous : but Sir John Marfham 
has reduced them to Scripture chronology, by proving them to be not 
'fuccefli-vc, but collateral. Some things which he has advanced have been 
contradicted, if not confuted, by men of learning. But it is no wonder 
that one traveling in the darknefs of antiquity, as he did, fliould fomtimes 
inifs his way. Le Clerc fays, " fummo ftudio antiquitates jEgyptias col- 
" legit." Dr. Wotton fays, " he was the firft who made the Egyptian 
" antiquities intelligible." And the learned Dr. Shuckford tell$ us, 
* no tolerable fcheme can be formed of the Egyptian hiflory, that is 
a not, in the main, agreeing with his." He died May 25, 1685. 

* High prieft of Heliopolis in the time of Ptolomxus Philadelphus, at 
whofe requeft he wrote his hiftory, comprizing a period of 53,535 years, 
pretending to take his accounts from the facred infcriptions on the pillars 
f Hermes Trifmegiftus. His Dynafties were tranfcribed by Eufebius, 
ia hi* Chronica. See Bp. StUUngfleet's Origines Sacne, book i. c. 2. 

" number 


** number TWELVE, becaufe there were fo many figns of the 
" Zodiack ; from them this number came to the Egyptians, 
" and fo to Greece, where Mars himfelf was tried for a minder, 
" and was acquitted." Now it does not appear upon record, 
nor any JJone that I have feen, whether the jury clubbed, or 
whether Mars treated them, at dinner, though it is molt likely 
that he did ; for he was but a quarrelfome fort of perfon, and 
probably, though acquitted, might be as guilty as Count Koningf- 
mark e . Now the cuftom of juries dining at an eat'mg-houfe, 
and having glaffes of water brought them with tooth-picks tinged 
with vermilion fwimming at the top, being flill continued, why 
may we not imagine, that the tooth-picks were as ancient as the 
dinner, the dinner as the juries, and the juries at leaft as the grand- 
children of Mitzraim ? Homer makes his heroes feed fo grofsly, 
that they feem to have had more occafion for Jke ! wers than goofe- 

e Charles John lord Koningfmark, &c. a native of Drefden, and a necef- 
fitous adventurer, was tried and acquitted from being an accelfary to the 
murder of Thomas Thynne, efq. Feb. XT, 1681-1. Mr. Thynne was 
married to the lady Elizabeth Percy, countefs of Ogle, fole daughter and 
heirefs to Jofceline earl of Northumberland, but was murdered in hi 
coach, Feb. ii ( 1681-2, before confumnntion, by three afTaflins, fuppoled 
to be fuborned by count Koninpfmark, who had made fome advances to 
the lady Ogle. That lady was betrothed in his infancy to Henry Cavendifli 
earl of Ogle, only fon to Henry duke of Newcaftle, who, dying Nov. i, 
1680, before he was of an age to cohabit with her, left her a virgin 
widow. Mr. Thynne, who married her when (he was fcarcely fifteen, was 
prevailed on by her mother to travel another year before he bedded her ; 
in which interval fhe became acquainted with Koningfmark; who, having 
no hopes of obtaining her whilft her hufljand lived, is fuppofed to have 
contrived his death. The bdy, however, detefted this bafe and inhuman 
conduit, and foon after man ied the great duke of Somerfet. The ftory 
of the murder, which is well known by the reprefentation of it on an 
entablature of Mr. Thynne's monument in Weftminfter Abbey, may be 
faen in Rerefby's "Memoirs," p. 135. The three affafiins (Uratf, 
Boroflcy, and Stern) were hanged in Pall Mall, March 10, i68i-z. > 
Koningfmark is faid to have been killed in a quarrel in Hungary, in 
1686, in the 3 ift year of his age ; but we are, with more probability, 
informed, that when king George II. ma. J e fome alterations in his palace 
at Hanover, the count's body was found under the floor. His filler (mif- 
trefs to Auguttus II, king of Poland) was mother of the famous marfhal 
Saxe. Granger, vol. IV. p, 237. 

VOL. III. E uXb. 


quills. He is very tedious in ckfcribing a Smith's forge and an 
anvil ; whereas lie might have been more polite, in fetting out 
the tooth-pick-cafe or painted fntiff-box of Achilles, if that aga 
had not been fo barbarous as to want them. And here I cannot 
but confider, that Athens, in the time of Pericles, flou- 
riflied moft in fumptuous buildings, and Rome in its height of 
empire from Auguftus down to Adrian, had nothing that 
equalled the Royal or New Exchange, or. Pope's-head Alley, 
for curiofitics and toy-JIjops ; neither had their Senate any thing 
to alleviate their debates concerning the affairs of the univcrfe 
like raffling fometimes at Colonel Parfons's f . Altjiough the 
Egyptians often extended their conquefts into Africa and 
Ethiopia, and though the Cafre Blacks have very fine teeth ; 
yet I cannot find that they made ufe of any fuch inftrument; 
nor does Ludolphus 5, though very exal as to the Abyflmian 
empire, give any account of a matter fo important ; for which 
he is to. blame, as I fhall mew in my Treatife of "Forks and- 
** Napkins," of which I (hall fend you an Eflav with all expe- 
dition. I fl>all in that Treatife fully illuftrate or confute this- 
patTage of Dn Heylin h , in theThird Book of his " Cofmography," 
where he fays of the Chinefe, " That they eat their meat with 
" two flicks of ivory, eboay, or the like \ not touching it with 
" their hands at all, and therefore no great foulers of linen,. 
" The ufe of ' iilver forks with us, by fome of our fpruce gal- 
" lants taken up of late, came from hence into Italy, and from. 
" thence into England," I cannot agree with this learned Doftof 
in many of thefe particulars. For, tirft, the ufe of thefe flicks 
is not fo much to fane linen, as out of pure neceffity ; which 
aiifes from the length of their nails, which perfons of great 
quality in tbofe countries wear at a prodigious length, to prevent 
all poilibility of working, or being ferviceable to themfelvcs or 
others ; and therefore, if they would, they could not eafily feed 
themielves with thofe claws ; and 1 have very good authority,., 
that in the Eaft, and efpecially in Japan,, the Princes have the 
meat put into their mouths by their attendants.. Bdides, theftf 
Hicks are of no ufe but for their fort of meat, which, being fitau, 
is all boiled to rags. But what would thofe fticks ftgftify to 
carve z ttffikey-cock, or a chine of beef? Therefore our fork: are- 

f The White's^ Almack's, or Arthur's, of thofe days.- 

g See the fecond volume of this -cileaioa, p. 9 1 . 

See fane a?count of Ds,.Heylin/in eur Authorls < ( Advcifjiria." 


of quite different fhape : the ftecl ones are bidental, and the filver 
generally refembling tridents ; which makes me think them to 
be as ancient as the Saturnian race, where the former is appro- 
priated to Pluto, and the latter to Neptune. It is certain that 
Pedro Delia Valle, that famous Italian Traveller, carried his 
knife w&fork into The Eaft Indies ; and he gives a large account 
how, at the court of an Indian Prince, he was admired for his 
neatnefs in that particular, and his care in wiping that and his 
knife, before he returned them to their refpeftive repofitories. 
I could with Dr. Wotton, in the next edition of his " Modern 
" Learning," would fhew us how much we are improved tince 
Dr. Heylin's time, and tell us the original of ivory knives, vvitu 
Which young heirs are fuffered to mangle their own pu&!ln ; 
as likewife of fiker and gold knives, brought in with the dcterf 
tor can-ing of jellies and orange-butter-, and the indifpenfable ne- 
ceifity of a fd-ver-knife at the fide-board, to mingle fallads with, 
as is with great learning made out in a Treatife called Acetaria' 
concerning Dreffing of Sallads." A noble Work ! But I 

And yer, pardon me, good Doctor, I had alrnofr. forgot a thinjr 
that I would not have clone for the world, it is fo remarkable. I 
think I may be pofitive, from this verfe of Juvenal ', where lie 
fpeaks of the Egyptians, 

Porrum et cepe nefas viola, etfrangere morfu, 
that it was facrilege to chop a leek, or bite an onion." Nav, 
I believe that it amounts to a demonftration, that Pharaoh Ne'cho 
could have no true lenten porridge, nor any corner's fauce to his 
mutton ; the true receipt of making which fauce I have from an. 
ancient Mf. remaining at the Bull Inn in Bifhopfgatc-ftreer, 
\vhich runs thus : 

Take feven fpoonfuls of fpring water ; dice two onions of 
" moderate fee into a large faucer, and put in as much falc as 
" you can hold at thrice betwixt your fore-fingtr aud thumb, if 
" lrge, and ferve it up." Piolaivm eft. 

HOBSON, Carrier to the Univcrfity of Cambridge. 

The effigies of that worthy perfon remains ftill at that Inn k ; 
nd I dare fay, that not only Hobfon, but old Birch, and many 

i Sat. XV. 9 . thre 

k Hobfon, by the help of common fenfe, and a conftant attention to * 

few frugal maxims, raited a much greater fertun than a thoufand men of 

* genius 


other* of that mufical and delightful profeffion, would rathe? 
have been labourers at the Pyramids with that regale, than to 
have reigned at Memphis, and have been debarred of it. I break 
off abruptly. Believe me an admirer of your worth, and a fol- 
lower of your methods towards the increafe o Learning, and 
more efpecially your, c. 


To Mr. 


I AM now very feiioufly employed in a Work that, I hope, 
may be ufeful to the Publick, which is a Poem of the " Art 
< of Cookery," in imitation of Horace's " Art of Poetry," in- 
fcribed to Dr. Lifter, as hoping it may be in time read as a preli- 
minary to his Works. But I have not vanity enough to think it 
will live fo long. I have in she mean time lent you an imitation, 
of Horace's invitation of Torquatus to fupper, which is the Fifth, 
Epitftle of his Fif ft Book J . Perhaps you will find fo many faults 
in this,, that you may fave me the trouble of my other propofal^ 
but, however, take it as it is : 

If Bellvill can his generous foul confine % 

To a fmall room, few diflies, and fome wine, > 

I (hail expect my happineis at nine. J 

Two bottles of fmooth Palm,, or Anjou white^ 
Shall give a welcome, and prepare delight, 

genius and learning educated in that Univerfity ever acquired, or were 
even capable of acquiring. He was, to ufe the citizen's phrafe, A MUCK 
BETTER MAN than Milton, who has written two quibbling epitaphs 
vpotc hint. Hut, if that great Poet had never lived, Hobfon's name would? 
have been always remembered f as he took an effectual method of perpe-- 
tuatirrg his memory^ by creeling a handfome ftone conduit at Cambridge, 
Aipplying it by an aqueduft, and fettling feven lays of patture-ground to- 
wards the maintenance of th fame for ever. He died, in the time of the 
plague, 1630, in the 86th year of his age. Ste more of him in 'the 
Spectator, NO 509. His will is in Peck's Collections. Granger, vol. II. 
p. 400. 

1 This Epiftle has been imitated by Dr. Swift, in " Toland's Invitation 
< to Difmal, to dine with the Calves Head Club," vol. XVI, p. 35.7. 

* Then 



Then for the Bourdeaux you may fredly alk, 
But the Champaigne is to each man his flaflc. 
I tell you with what force I keep the field ; 
And if you can exceed it, fpeak, I'll yield. 
The fnow-white damaflc enfigns are difplay'd. 
And glittering falvcrs on the fule-l>oard 'laid. 
Tims we'll difperfe ell bufy thoughts and cares, 
The General's courffels, and the Statefman's fears : 
Nor fliall fleep reign in that precedent night, ^ 

Whofe joyful hours lead on the glorious light, 
Sacred to Britiflj worth in Blenheim's fight. 
The hleffings of good-fortune feem refws'tl, 
'IJnlcfs fometimes with generous freedom us'd. 
'Tis rnadnefs, not frugality, prepares 
A vaft excefs of wealth for ftjuandering heirs. 
Muft I of neither wine nor mirth partake, 
JLeft the cenforious world mould call me Rake? 
"Who, unacquainted with the generous wine, 
E'er fpoke bold truths, or framed a great defign ? 
That makes us Fancy every face has charms ; 
That gives us courage, and then finds us arms : 
Sees care difburthcn'd, and each tongue employ'd, 
The poor grown rich, and every wifli enjoy'd. 
This I'll perform, and promife yooi lhall fee 
A cleanlinefs from affectation free : 
No noife, no hurry, when the meat's fet on, 
Or when the difli is chang'O, the fervants gone- 
For all tilings ready, nothing more to fetch, 
Whatc'er you want is in the Maftcr's rcacl). 
Then for the company, I'll fee it chofe, 
Their emblematic fignal is the Rofe. 
If you of Freeman's raillery approve* 
Of Cotton's laugh, and Winner's talcs of. love, 
And Bellair's charming voice may be allow'd, 
What can you hope for better from a crowd r 
But I fhall not prcfcribe. Confult your eafe, 
Write back your men, ami number as you plcafe : 
Try your back-Hairs, and let the lobby wait ; 
A iuatagem in war is no deceit. 
I am, Sir, yours, &c. 

, 4 L E T T E R S T O 


To Mr. 

I HERE fend you what I promifed,a ' Difcourfe of Cookery," 
after the method which Horace has taken in his " Art of 
" Poetrv," which I have all along kept in my view ; for Horace cer- 
tainly is an Author to be imitated in the delivery of precepts, for 
any art orfcience. He is indeed fevereupon OUR fort of learning 
in fome of his Satires ; but even there he inftru6ts, as in the 
Fourth Satire of the Second Book, ver. 13. 
Longa qtnbus fades ovis erif, ilia memento, 
Ut fucd meHoris, et lit magis alba rotundh, 
Ponere : namque mar em cohibent callofa vitelliim. 
Choofc eggs oblong ; remember they'll be found 
< Of fwecter tafte, and whiter than the round : 
" The firmnefs of that fhell includes the male." 
I am much of his opinion, and could only wifii that the world 
was thoroughly informed of two other truths concerning eggs, 
One is, how incomparably better roajled eggs are than boiled ; the 
other, never to eat any butter with eggs in the Jhell. You cannot 
imagine how much more you will have of their flavour, and 
how much eafier they will fit upon your ftomach. The worthy 
perfon who recommended it to me mado many profelytes ; and I 
have the vanity to think that I have not been altogether un- 

I have in this Poem ufed a plain, eafy, familiar ftyle, as moft 
fit for precept ; neither have I been too exact an Imitator of 
Horace, as he himfelf directs. I have not confulted any of his 
Tranflators ; neither Mr. Oldham m , whofe copioufnefp runs into 
Paraphrafe } nor Ben Jonfon, who is admirable for his clofe fol- 

T- John Oldham, born Aug. 9, 1653, was a bachelor of Edmund Hall, 
Oxford ; A. B: in 1674, and foon after ufher to the free fchool at Croydon. 
In this fituation, fome of his poetry having been handed about, he was 
honoured with a vilit by the earls of Rochefter and Dorfet, Sir Charles 
Sedlcy, and other perfons of diftinftion. In 1678, he was tutor to the 
ion of Judge Thurland, and in 1681 to a fon of Sir William Hickes, 
By the advice of Sir William and the afliftance of Dr. Lower, he applied 
fur about a year to the ftudy of phyfic ; but, poetry being predominant, he 
liallened to London, and became aperfcft votary to the boule, yet v/ith- 


lowing of the original ; nor yet the Lord Rofcommon n , fo excel*- 
lent for the beauty of his language, and his penetration into the 
very defign and foul of that Author. I coniidcred that I went 
upon a new undertaking; and though I do not value my felt 
upon it fo much as Lucretius did, yet I dare fay it is more in- 
nocent and inoflfenfivc. 

Sometimes, when Horace's rules come too thick and fententious 
I have fo far taken liberty as to pafs over fome of .them ; for I 
consider the nature and temper of Cooks, who are not of the mofi: 
patient difpofition, as their under-fervants too often experience. I 
\vifli I might prevail with them to moderate their paflions, which 
will be the greater contjueft, feeing a continual heat is added to 
their native fire. 

Amidft the variety of dife&ions that Horace gives us in his 
" Art of Poetry," jvhich is one of the moft accurate pieces that he 
.or any other Author has written, there is a iecret connexion in 
reality, though he doth not exprefs it too plainly ; and- therefore 
this Imitation of it has many breaks in it. If fuch as fhall 
condelcend to read this Poem would at the fame time confuk 
Horace's original Latin, or fome of . the aforementioned Tranf- 
lators, they would find at leaft this benefit, that 'they would re- 

ont (inking into the debauchery of his contemporary wits. He was patro- 
nized by the earl of Kingfton, who would have made him his chaplain 
if he would have qualified hiirif^-lf. He lived with the earl, however, 
till his death, which was occafioned by the fmall.pox, Dec. o,, 1683- He 
was particularly efteemed by Mr. Dryden ; who has done him great juftice 
in " Verfes to his Memory." His works have been frequently printed in 
-one volume, 8vo j in 1721 in 2 vob. izmo. with the Author's Life j and 
very lately, unoer the infpecYion of Capt. Thornpfon, in 3 vols. izmo. 

n Wentworth Dillon, eatl of Rofcommon, was born in Ireland j and 
educated in Vorkfliire,. under the tuition of Dr. Hall, afterward bifliop of 
Norwich. When the troubles began in EngUnd, he was fent to fini/h his 
ftudies in Normandy, under the learneJ Bothart. At the Restoration, be 
was appointed captain of the band of gentlemen penfioners. Resigning this 
port, he went to Ireland, and was made captain of the guards by the duke 
.of Ormond. But the pleafures of the Englifli court being powerful motives 
for his return, he was made matter of the horfe to the duchefs of York. 
He now began to be diftlnguifhed as a poet ; and projected with Mr. 
Dryden the fixing of a ftandr.rd to our language ; a project which religious 
Cdumotions foon defeated. He died Jan. 17, 1684. His porms, which 
are goad, but not numerous, are printed in the " Woiks of tjje Minor 


collect thofe excellenc inftruflions which he delivers to us in fuch 
elegant language. 

I could wifii the Matter and Wardens of the Cooks Company 
would order this Poem to be read with due confideration ; for it 
is not lightly to be run over, feeing it contains many ufeful in- 
itruc~tions for human life. It is true, that fume of thefe rules 
may foem more principally to refpeft the Steward, Clerk of the 
Kitchen, Caterer, or perhaps the Butler. But the Cook being 
the principal perfon, without whom all the reft will be little 
regarded, they are directed to him ; and the Work being de^ 
ilgned for die univerfal good, it will accomplim fome part of its 
intent, if thofe fort of people will improve by it. 

It may happen, in this as in all works of Art, that there may 
be fome terms not obvious to common Readers ; but they are not 
many. The Reader may not have a juft idea of ^f-vjoled mutton, 
which is a Jheep roafted in its wool, to fave the labour of fleaing. 
Bacon and filbert tarts are fomething unufual ; but, fince Jprout 
tarts and pijlacb:o tarts are much the fame thing, and to be 
feen in Dr, Salmon's " Family Dictionary," thofe perfons who 
Jiave a defire for them may eafily find the way to make them. 
As for grout, it is an old Danim difh j and it is claimed as an 
honour to the ancient Family of Leigh, to carry a dilh of it up 
to the coronation, A 4<u-'fl>'f j>je was prepared for King James 
ths Firlt, when JtifFerey his dwarf rofe put of one armed with a 
fword and buckler ; and is fo recorded in hiftory, th4t there are 
few but know jt. Though marinated f.Jh, bippocraes, and am- 
bl^uei, are known to all thaf. deal in Cookery 5 yet terrenes are 
not fo ufual, being a filvcr vefTel filled with the moft coflly 
dainties after the manner of an oglio. A fur prize is likewife a 
tlifh not fo very common; which, pi omitlng little from its firlt 
appearance, when open abounds with all forts of variety; which 
\ cannot better refemble than to the Fifth Aft of or.e of our 
modern Cpmedies. Lti\ Motitetb, Vinegar, TallcJJin, and Bo/u t 
ihould be taken for difhes of rarities ; it may be known, that 
Monteth was a gentleman wjth a fcalloped coat, that Vinegar 
keeps the ri;.g at Lincoln's Inn Fields, Talieflm was one of the 
molt ancient Bards aii>oi;gfl the Britons ?, and BolTu one of the 


" See the note on ver. 255. of " The Art of Cookery." 

r Talieftin, chiof of the Bards, fiourifhed in the fixth century. His 
Vcrki atg ftijl prefcrved, ancl his memory held in high veneration among 



inoft certain inftruftors in criticifm that this latter age has 
produced 1. 

I hope i: will not be taken ill by the Wits, that I call my 
Cooks by the title of ingenious ; for I cannot imagine why Cooks 
may not be as well read as any other perlbns. I am fure their 
apprentices, of late years, have had very great opportunities of 
improvement ; and men of the hill pretences to literature have 
been very liberal, and fcnt in their contributions very largely. 
They have been very ferviceable both to fpit and o-uen; and for 
thefe twelve months part, whilft Dr. Wotton with his " Modern 
' Learning" was defending pye-crnji from fcorching, his dear 
Friend Dr. Bentley, with his " Phahris," has been Tinging of 
fapons. Not that this was occafioned by any fuperfluity or te- 
dioufnefs of their writings, or mutual commendations ; but it 
w:is found out by lome worthy patriots, to make the labours of 
the tiuo Doctors, as far as pollible, to become ufcful to the 

Indeed Cookery has an influence upon mens aftions even in 
the Inghett ftations of human life. The great Philofopher Pytha- 
goras, in his " Golden Verfes," mews himfelf to l>e extremely 
nice in eating, when he makes it one of his chief principles of 
morality to abllain from beans. The noblefl foundations of 
honour, juftice, and integrity, were found to lye hid in turnips ; 
as appears in that great Dictator, Cincinnatus, who went from 
the plough to the command of the Roman army; and, having 
brought home viftory, retired to his cottage : for, when the 
Samnite ambaffadors came thither to him, with a large bribe, 
;md found him drefling turnips for his repaft, they immediately 
returned with thiv fenter.ce, ' That it was impoflible to prevail 
" upon him th'at could be contented with fuch a fupper." In 
fliort, there are no honorary appellations but what may be made 
ufc of to Cooks ; for I find throughout the whole race of Char- 
Icmaigne, that the Great Cook of the Palace was one of the 
prime minillers of ftate, and conductor of armies : fo true is that 
maxim of Paulus JEmilius, after his gloiious expedition into 
tjrccce, when he was to entertain the Roman People, " that 

bis countrymen. Both Merlin and T^lieflin had prop befitd, that the 
Wel/h fhould regain their fovereignty over this ifland } which feemetl to 
f>e accomplished in the houfe of Tudor. GRAY. 
ft ee the note on ver. 58 5. 

5 g L E T T E R S T O 

there was equal flail required to bring an army into the field, 
and to let forth a magnificent entertainment r ; fince the one 
" was as far as pofiible to annoy your enemy, and the other to 
pleafute your friend." In ihort, as for all perfons that have 
not a due regard for the learned, induflrious, moral, upright, and 
warlike profeliion of Cookery, may thev live as the ancient 
inhabitants of Puerte Ventura, one of the Canary Iflands, where, 
they being fo barbarous as to make the moft contemptible .peribn 
to be their- butcher, they had likewife their meat fcived "up raw, 
bccaufe they had no fire to chefs it; and I take this to be a 
condition bad enough of all confidence ! 

As this fmall Eilay finds acceptance, I fhall be encouraged te 
purfjie.a great defign I have in hand, of publifhing a Bib'iotheca 
Culiiiaria, or the " Cook's Complete Library," which (hall begin 
jwith a Tranflation, or at leaft an Epitome, of Athenseus, who 
.treats of .all .things be longing to a Grecian Feaft. He fhall be 
jmblifhed, with all his comments, ufeful gloj/es, and indexes, of 
.a vaft copioufaefs, with cuts of the bajl ing-ladles, dripping-pans, 
4iu.\.drxJging-l>oxe.<, &c. lately dug up at Rome, out of an old 
jultterrxnean fkullery. I defign to have all Authors in all lan- 
guages upon that fubje6t; therefore pray confult what ..Oriental 
Manufcripts you have. I remember Erpenius, in his Notes 
( ijpon Locman's * Fables (whom I take to be die fame peribn 
.vvith /Efop) gives us an admirable receipt for making the four 
inilk, .that is, the bonny clabber, of the Arabians. I fliould be 
glad to know how Mahomet ufed to have \\isjboulder of mutton 
jdreffed, I hav^ heard he was a great lover of that joint, and 
.jthat a maid of an Inn poifoned him with one, faying, " If he is 

< This maxim feems to have been adopted by the gallant contriver of 
the modern felUval of" The Oaks." 

By birth an Abyffinian of Ethiopia or Nubia, anJ fold among the 
. JfraelHes as a black f)ave in the reigns of king David and Solomon. He 
j* by many fuppofed to be the fame with the ^Efop of the Greeks. And. 
Jndeed we find in the apologues of Locmaa in Arabic many particulars 
that are feen in yEfop's fables; fo that it is not eify to determine whe- 
ther, the Greek or the Arabian are the originals. That fpecies of inftruc- 
tion, however, is more agreeable to the genius of the Oriental than of the 
Weftern nations; and Planudes, in his fabulous Life of ^Efop, borrowed 
many of Jiis materials from traditions he found in the Eaft concerning 
Lccman, concluding them-to have been the frine peribn. Sec the preface 
to " Thfe Art of Loyc." 

" a Pro 

DR. L 1 S T E R A N D OT H E R S. 59 

* a Prophet, he will difcovcr it; if he is an impoftor, no matter 
tl what becomes of him." I Jhall have occafion for the affiftancc 
of all my Friends in this great work. I fome pofts ago clefircd 
a Friend to enquire what Manufcripts Sol. Harding, a famous 
Cook, may have left behind him at Ox foul. He fays, he finds 
among his Executors feveral admirable bills of fare for AriftOlle 
fuppers, and. entertainments of country ftrangers, with certain 
prices, according to their feveral Icafons. He fays, fome pages 
have large black erodes drawn over diem ; but for the greater 
part the Books are fair. and legible. 

Sir, I would beg you to fearch Cooks-Hall, what Manufcripts 
they may have, in their Archives. Sec what in Guildhall : what 
account of cujlard in the Sword-bearer's Office : how many tun 
He, a Common Cryer, or a Common Hunt, may eat in their life- 
time. But I tranfgrcfs the bounds of a. Letter, and have fbrayed 
from my fubjccl:, which fhould have been, to beg you to read the 
following lines, when you are inclined to be m oft favourable to 
your Friend ; for elfe they will never be able to endure your jufl. 
ccnfure. I rely upon your good-nature, and I am 

Your moft obliged, &c. 


To Mr. 


I HAVE reflected upon the difcourfe I had with you the other 
day, and, upon ferious confederation, find that the true un- 
derftanding of the whole " Art of Cookery" will be ufeful to all 
perfons that pretend to the belles lettres, and cfpecially to Poets. 

I do not find it proceeds from any enmity of the Cooks, but 
it is rather the fa,ult of their Mafteri, that Poets are not fo well 
acquainted with good eating; as otherwife they might be, if 
oftener invited. However, even in Mr- D'Urfey's c prefence, 
this I would be bound to fay, " That a good dinner is brother 
" to a good poem :'' only it is fomething more fubflantial; and, 
between two and three a clock, more agreaable. 

t See, in vol. II, Ufcful Traftfaftions," Partii. No 3. 



; I have known a fuppcr make the moft diverting part of a 
Comedy. Mr. Bettcrton , in " The Libertine V has fet very 
gravely with the leg of a chicken : but I have feen Jacomo very 
merry, and eat very heartily of peafe and buttered- eggs under 
the table. The Hoft, in "The Villain*," who carries tables, 
ftools, furniture, and provifions, all about him, gives great con- 
tent to the fpedators, when from the croxfrn of his hat he pro- 
duces his cold capon; fo Armarillis (or rather Parthenope, as 
1 take it) in " The Rehearfal," with her wine in her fpear, and 
lier pye in her helmet ; and the Cook that {Jobbers his beard 
with fack poflet, in 4< The Man's the Mailer XV" have, in my 
opinion, made the moft diverting part of the aft ion. Thdc 
-embellifhments we have received from our imitation of the an- 
cient Poets. Horace, in his Satires, makes Maecenas very merry 
with the recollection of the unui'ual entertainments and difhes 
given him by Nafidienus ; and with his raillery upon garlick in 
liis Third Epode. The Supper of Petronius, with all its ma- 
chines and connivances, gives us the -moll lively defcription of 
Nero's luxurv. Juvenal ipendt; a- whole Satire about tl>e price 
apd da-effing of a {ingle filh, with the judgement of the Roman 
.Senate concerning ir. Thus, whether ferious or jocofe, good eating 
is made the fubjeft and ingredient of poetical entertainments. 

I think all Poets agree that Epiibdes are to be interwoven iu 
their Poems with die greateft nicety of act ; and fo it is the lame 
thing at a good table : and yet I have fcen a very good Epifode 
((give me leave to call -it fo) made -by fending out the leg of a 
goofe, or the gizzard of a turkey, to be broiled: though 1 know 
that Criticks with a good ftomach have been offended that the 
.unity of action fhould be fo far broken. And yet, as in our 
Plays, fo at our common tables, many Epifodes are allowed, as 
Hieing of cucumbers, drefling of fallads, feafoning die infide of 
a furloin of beef, breaking lobfers claws, ftewing wild docks, 
loading of cliccfe, legs .of larks, and foveral others. 

Thomas Betterton, with juftice efteemed the Rofcius of his age, was 
born in 1635, came upon ihe ftage In 1656, and continued on it with gieat 
reputation more than 50 years. He died Apr. 28, 1710. Sir Richard 
Steele, who attended the ceremony of his funeral, publi/hed a paper ip 
" The Tatler" to his memory, vol. III. N 167. 

w A Tragedy by Thomas Shadwell, afted 1676. 

x A Tragedy by Thomas Porter, acted 1663. 

J A Corned}' by Sir William Davenant, acted 16-69, 

A Poet, 


A Poet, who, by proper expreffions and pleafmg images, is 
to lead us into the knowledge of neceffary truth, may delude 
his audience extremely, and indeed barbaroufly, unlefs lie has 
fome knowledge of this " Art of Cookery," and the progrefs of 
it. Would it not found ridiculous to hear Alexamk-n tle Great 
command his cannon to be mounted, and to throw red hot 
bullets out of his mortar-piects ? or to have Statira talk of tapeflrp. 
hangings, which, all the Learned know, were many years after 
her death firft hung up in the Hall of King Attalus ? Should* 
Sir John Falftafi complain of having dirtied \\isjilk Jtockings, or 
Anne of Boleyn call for her coach ; would a-n audience endure it,, 
when all the world knows that Queen Elizabeth was the firft 
that had her coach, or wore filk flocking*. Neither can a Poet 
put bops in an Englifhman's drink before herefy came in : nor 
can he ferve him with a difli of carp before that time : he might 
as well give King James the Firft a dim of ajparagu$ upon 
his firft coming to London, which were not brouglu: into England 
till many years after; or make Owen Tudor prefent Queen 
Catharine with a fugar-loaf, whereas he might as eafily have 
given her a diamond as large ; feeing the teeing of cakes at Wood- 
ftreet Corner, and the refining of fugar, was hut an invention of 
two hundred years (landing ; and before that time our Anceftors 
fwcctened and garniflicd all with honey ; of which there are fome 
remains, in Windfor boiuls, baron braski, and large /immels, feat 
for prefcnts from Lichficld. 

But now, on the contrary, it would {hew his reading, if the 
Poet put a hen turkey upon, a table in a Tragedy ; and therefore 
1 would advife it in Hamlet, rnftead of their painted trifles - t and 
I believe it would give more fatisfaftion to the Aftors. For 
Diodorus Siculus reports, how die fitters of Meleager, or Dio- 
medes, mourning for their brother, were turned into ten-turkeys j 
from whence proceeds their ftatelinefs of gate, refervednefs in 
converfation, and melancholy in the tone of their voice, and all 
their aftions. But this would be the mofl improper meat in 
the world for a Coraedy ; for melancholy and diftrefs require a 
different fort of diet, as well as language : and I have heard of 
a fair lady, that was pleafed to fay, " that, if fhe were upon a 
" ftrange road, and driven to great necefTity, fhe believed flie 
"might for once be able to fup upon a fack pc/et and a fat 
" capon," 

1 an; 


I am fure Poets, as well as Cooks, arc for having all worcfs 
nicely chofen and properly adapted; and therefore, I believe* 
they would mew the fame regret that I do, to hear perfons of 
fome rank and quality fay, Pray cut up that goofe. Help me 
" to fome of that chicken, hen, or capon, or half that plover ;" 
not confulering how indifcreetly they talk, before men of 'art ' t 
tfhofe proper terms are, " Break that Goofe;"" fruft that 
"Chicken;" "fpoil that Hen "fauce that Capon-" "mince 
* t that Plover." Pf they are fo much out in common things, 
how much more will they be with bitterns, kerons, cranes, and 
peacocks? But it is vain for us to complain of the 'faults and 
errors of the world, unlefs we lend our helping-hand to retrieve 

To conclude, our greatefl Author of Dramatic Poetry, Mr. 
Dryden z , has made ufe of the myfteries of this Art, in the Pro- 
logues to two of his Plays, one a Tragedy, the other a Comedy ; 
in which he has fhewn his greateft art, and proved moft fuccefsful. 
I had not feen the Play for fome years, before I hit upon almoft 
the fame words that he has in the following Prologue to " All 
* for Love." 

" Fops may have leave to level all they can, 
" As Pigmies would be glad to top a man. 
Half-wits are fleas, fo little and fo light, 
" We fcarce could know they live, but that they bite. 
" But, as the rich, when tir'd with daily feafls, 
For change become their next poor tenant's guefts : __ 
" Drink hearty draughts of Ale from plain brown bowk t 
" Andfnatcbtbe homely Rajber from the coah : 

John Dryden was born at Aldwincle, in Norlhamptonfhire, Aug. <J, 
1631; was educated at Weftminfter, under Dr. Bufby; and from 
thence defied, 1650, to Trinity College, Cambridge. In 1668, he was 
Sj pointed hiftoriographer and poet laureat ; which places he loft at the 
Revolution, 1688 : but his generous parron the earl of P./rfet, out of Irs 
private eftate, made up to him the lofs of his penfion. He married the 
lady Elizabeth Howard, daughter to the earl of Berkshire ; and died May r, 
1701. A lift of his works (too numerous for the rompafs of a note") may 
be feen in the " Biograplm Britannica." In one of the three prints pre- 
fixed to his " Virgil," 8vo, Mr. Dryden is reptefented in a long and large 
vrig. It was from his wearing fuch a wig that Swift compares him ta 
lady in a lobfter, vol.1, p. 292. 

4 "SO 


if So you, retiring from much betrer cheer, 

" For once may venture to do penance here ; l 

" And, fince that plenteous Autumn now is paft, 

" Whofe Grapes and Peaches have indul^M your tafte^ 

" Take .in good part from our poor Poet's board, 

" Such flirivel'd Fruit as Winter can afford." 

Kovjfops and^flj ihould come together, I cannot! y account 
for; hot I dout>r not but his ale, rajbcr, grape;, peaches, and 
jlriveled apples, might " Pit, Box, and Gallery," it well enough. 
His Prologue to " Sir Martin Mar-all" is fuch an exquifite Poem, 
taken from the fame Art, that I could \viih it tranflated' into Latin, 
so be prefixed to Dr. Lifter's Work. The whole is as follows i 


Fools, which each man meets iifhis difli each day, 
" Are yet the great regalia's of a Play : 
" In which to Poets you but jull appear, 
" To prize that higheft which coft them fo dear, 
" Fops in die town more cafily will pafs, 
" One ftory makes a ftatutable afs :, 

*' But fuch in Plays mud be muck thicker Towjij : ; ya^Htf:-; 
" Like yolks of eggs, a dozen beat to oiie., .; -a ,. /^ ( ,, 
*' Obferving Poets all their walks invade, . .% < 
" As iren watch woodcocks gliding tlxrough a elaje* 
-" And when they have- enough for Comedy,. . . ] . ; t- 
" They 'flow their feveral bodies in a- pyc^ >u . 
" The Poet's but the Cook to fafhion it, . . : - .- 
*' For, Gallants, you yourfelves have found tha \vif. !;v. 
*' To bid you welcome, would your bounty, wrong. ^H 

" None welcome thofe who bring their cheer "along. 4 * .-.. 

The image (which is the great perfection of a Poet) "is '.fo ei 
tremely lively, and well painted, that methinks 1'fec the whole 
Audience with a difli of buttered eggs in one hand/and a wood- 
cock pye in the other. I hope I may be cxcufcd, after fo. great 
an example ; for I declare I have no defign but to encourage Learn- 
ing, and am very far from any defigns againft it. And there- 
fbte I hope the worthy gentleman who faid that the " Journey to- 

Some Critidcs rad It Ckair, ' KIN a. 



" London b " ought to be burnt by the common hangman, as a 
Book, that, if received, would clifcourage ingenuity, would be 
plcafed not to make his bonfire at the upper end of Ludgate- 
flrect, for, fear of endangering the Bookicllers fhops and the 

I have abundance more to fay upon thefe fubjec"ls ; but I am 
afraid my firft courfe is fo tedious, that you will excufe me both 
the fecond courfe and the defert, and call for pipes and a candle. 
But confider, the Papers come from an old Friend ; and {pare 
them out of compaffion to, 
S J R, &c. 


To Mr. - 

I A M no great lover of writing more than I am forced to, and 
therefore have not troubled you with mv Letters to congratu- 
late your good fortune in London, or to bemoan our unhappinefs 
in the lofs of you here. The occafion of this is, to defire your 
afliftance in a matter that I am fallen into by the advice of fome 
Friends; but, unlcfs they help me, it will be impoJTible for me 
to get out of it. I have had the misfortune to write; but, 
what is w<Jrfe, I have never considered whether any one would 
Tead. Nay, I have been fo very bad as to defign to print ; but 
then a wicked thought came acrofs me with " Who will buy ?" 
For, if I tell you the title, you will be of my mind, that the very 
name will deftroy it : " The Art of Cookery, in Imitation of 
" Horace's Art of Poetry ; with fome familiar Letters to Dr. 
44 Lifter and others, occafioned principally by the title of a Book 
44 pubHfhcd by the Doctor, concerning the Soups and Sauces of 
4 * the Ancients." To this a Beau will cry, " Phough ! what 
44 have I to do with Kitchen- fluff" ?" To which I anfwer, " Buy 
44 it, and then give it to your Servants." For I hope to h've to fee 
the day when every miilrefs of a family, and every Steward, (hall 
call up their children and fervants with, " Come Mifs Betty, 
" how much have you got of your Art of Cookery ?" " Where did 
4 you leave oft; Mifs Ifabel ?" Mils Kitty, are you no farthcf' 

*> Printed in vol. I. p. 187. 

" than 


" than King Henry and the Miller ?" Yes, Madam ; I am come td 

" His name fhall be enroll'd 

" In Eftcourt's c Book, \Vhofe gridiron's fram'd of gold. 
' Pray, Mother, is that our Matter Eftcourt?" " Well, child, 
" if you mind this, you fhall not be put to your AJfembly's Ca- 
tecbifm next Saturday." What a glorious fight it will be, and 
how becoming a great family, to fee the Butler out-learning the 
Steward, and the painful Scullery-maid exerting her memory far 
beyond the mumping Houfe-keeper ! I am told that, if a Book is 
any thing ufeful, the Printers have a way of pirating on one another, 
and printing other perfons copies, which is very barbarous. And 
then fhall I be forced to come out with " The True Art of 
" Cookery is only to be had at Mr. Pindar's, a Patten-maker's, 
" under St. Dunftan's Church, with the Author's Seal at the Title- 
" page, being Three Saucepans, in a Bend proper, on a Cook's 
" Apron, Argent. Beware of Counterfeits." And be forced to 
put out Advertifements, with " Strops for Razors, and the beft 
" Spectacles, are to be had only at the Archimedes, &c." 

I defign proposals, which I muft get delivered to the Cooks 
Company, for the making an order that every apprentice fhall 
have the " Art of Cookery" when he is bound, which he fhall 
fay by heart before he is made free ; and then he fhall have Dr. 
Lifter's Book of " Soups and Sauces" delivered to him for hig 
future practice. But you know better what I am to do than I. 
For the kindnefs you may fhew me, I fhall always endeavour to 
make what returns lay in my power. I am yours, &c. 



1C A KNOT but recommend to your perufal a late exquiiite 
Comedy, called " The Lawyer's Fortune ; or, Love in a 
"Hollow Tree<tj" which piece has its peculiar emblifhments, 

* See note on ver. 519. 

" Left a chaftn fliould intervene, 
" When Death had fini/h'd Blackmore's reign, 
Yi. IIU F <<The 


and is a Poem carefully framed according to the niceft rules of 
the" Art of Cookery :" for the Play opens with a fcene of 
good Houfewifry, where Favourite the Houfe-keeper makes this 
ompla'int to the Lady Bonona. 

" FAV. The laft mutton killed was lean, Madam. Should noC 
fomc fat fheep be bought in r 

BON. What fay yau, Let-acre, to it? 

LIT. This is the worft time of the year for fheep. Th* 
frefli graft makes them fall away, and they begin to taile of 
" the wool ; they muft be fpared a while, and Favourite mud 
caft to fpend fome fait meat and fifli. I hope we fhall have 
" fome fat calves fhortly." 

What can be more agreeable than- this to.the, " Art of Cookery," 
where our Author fays, 

" But, though my edge be not too nicely ftr, 
Yet I another's appetite may whet 5 

" May teach him when to buy, when feafon pad, > 

** What's ftale, what's choice, what's plentiful, what wafte, > 
"'And lead him through the various maze of tafte." ' J 

In the Second Aft, Valentine, Mrs. Bonona's fon, the con- 
fummate character of the Play, having in the Firft Aft loft his 
Hawk, and confequently his way, benighted and lofl, and feeing a 
light- in a diflant houfe, comes to the thrifty, widow Furiofa's, 

" The. leaden crown devolv'd to thee 

" Great Poet of the hollow-tree !" SwiFT,Khapfody on Poetry. 
Sir William Grimfton, bart. (created vifcount Grimftoa and baron of 
Dunboyne in the kingdom of Ireland, June 3, 1719), when a boy, wrote 
a Play, to be afted by his fchool-fellows, intituled, " The Lawyer's For- 
tune; or, Love in a Hollow Tree;" printed in 410, 1705 ; a per* 
formance of fo little merit, that his LorJflrri at a more advanced period 
of life endeavoured by every means in His power to fupprefs it } and this 
he might poflibly have accomplifhed, had he not been engaged in a difpnte 
with the duchefs of Marlborough, about the Borough of St. Albans. 
To render him ridiculous in the eyes of his conftituents, her Grace caufed 
an impre.ffion of this Play to be printed, with an Elephant in the Title- 
page dancing on a Rope. This edition his Lordfliip purchased; but her 
Grace, being determined to accomplifh her defign, fent a copy to be re- 
printed in Holland, and afterward diftributed the whole impreflion among 
the Eleftors of St. Albans ; for which place he was chofen rep refentauve, 
*7'4> and J727 He died Oft. 15, 1756. 



fwMch is exactly according to the rule, " A Prince, who in 2 
' Foreft rides aftray !") 'where be finds the old gentlewoman card- 
ing, the fair Florida tier daughter forking on a parchment, tvhiljt 
the maid is Jpinning. Peg reaches a chair ; fack is called for ; and 
in the mean time the good old gentlewoman complains fo ofrogueSy 
that Jhe can fcarce keep a goofe or a turkey in fafety for them. 
'Then Florida enters, <witb a little white bottle about a pint, and 
an old-fajhioned glafs, fills and gi-iies her mother \ Jbe drinks tt) 
Valentine, he to Florida, Jbe to him again, he to Furiofa, nvhofets it 
do-run on the table. After afmall time, the old Lady cries, " Well, 
" it is my bed-time ; but my daughter will fhew you the way to 
" yours : for I know you would willingly be in it." This was 
extremely kind ! Now, upon her retirement (fee the great judge- 
ment of the Poet !) fhe being an old gentlewoman that went to 
bed, he fuits the following regale according to the age of the 
perfon. Had boys been put to bedj it had been proper to have 
" laid the goofe to the fire," but here it is otherwife : for, after 
feme intermediate difcourfe, he is invited to a repaft j when he 
rnodeftly excufes himfelf with, " Truly, Madam, I have no 
" ftomach to any meat, but to comply with you. You have, Ma- 
" dam, entertained me with all that is dclirable already." The 
Lady tells him, " cold Supper is better than none ;" fo be Jits at 
the table, offert to eat, but cannot. I am fure, Horace could not 
have prepared himfelf more exactly ; for (according to the rule, 
' A Widow has cold Pye"), though Valentine, being love-fick, 
could not eat, yet it was his fault, and not the Poet's. But, when. 
Valentine is to return the civility, and to invite Madam Furiofa, 
-and Madam Florida, with other good company, to his mother the 
hofpitable Lady Bonona's (who, by the bye, had called for two 
bottles of wine for Latitat her Attorney), then affluence and 
dainties are to appear (according to this Verfe " Mangoes, 
" Potargo, Champignons, Caveare") ; and Mrs. Favourite the 
Houfe-keeper makes thefe moft important enquiries. 

" FAV. Miftrefs, fhall I put any Mufhrooms, Mangoes, or 
" Bamboons, into the Sallad ? 

" BON. Yes, I pr'ythee,the beft thou haft. 

' FAV. Shall I ufe Ketchop or Anchovies in the Gravy ? 

BON. What you will." 

But, however magnificent the Dinner might be, yet Mrs. Bonona, 

as the manner of fome perfons is, makes her excufe for it, with, 

F a Well, 


* Well, Gentlemen, can ye fpare a little time to take a ftiorg 
** dinner ? I promife you, it (hall not be Jong." It is very pro- 
bable, though the Author dees not make any of the guefts give a 
relation of it, that Valentine, being a great fportfman, might 
fumiih the table with game and wild-fowl. There was at leaftr 
one Pheafant in the Houfe, which Valentine told his mother of the 
morning before. " Madam, I had a good flight of a Pheafant- 
ft cock, that, after my Hawk feized, made head as if he would 
" have fought ; but my Hawk plumed him prefently." Now it is 
not reafonable to fuppoie that, Vally lying abroad that night, th 
old gentlewoman under that concern would have any ftomach to 
it for her own fupper. However, to fee the fate of things, there 
is nothing permanent ; for one Mrs. Candia making (thouglx 
innocently) a prefent of an Hawk to Valentine,. Florida his mif- 
trefs grows jealous, and refolves to leave him, and run away with 
an odd fort of fellow, one Major Sly. Valentine, to appeals 
her, fends a meffage to her by a- boy, who tells her, * His maftcr,., 
"-to fhew the trouble he took by her mifapprehenfron, had fent 
"her fome vifible" tokens, the Hawk torn to pieces with his own 
" hands ;" and then pulls, out of the bajket the nvitigs and legs of a- 
fowL So we fee the poor bird demolijbed, and all hopes of wild- 
fowl deftroyecl for the future : and happy were it if misfortunes 
would flop here. But,. the cruel* Beauty refufing to be appeafed, 
Valentine takes a fudden rcfolution, which he communicates to 
Let-acre the Steward, to brujb off, and quit bis habitation. How- 
ever it was, whether Let-acre did not think his young Mafter 
leal, and Valentine Having threatened the Houfe-kecper to kick 
her immediately before for being too fond of him, and his boy 
being raw and unexperienced in traveling, it feems they made^ 
but {lender provifibn for their expedition ; for there is but one 
Scene interpofed, before we find diftrefied Valentine in the moit 
milerable condition that the joint Arts of Poetry and Cookery 
are able to reprefcnt him. There is a Scene of the greateft hor- 
ror, and moil moving to compalTion, of any thing that I havc. 
fcen amongrt the Moderns ; " Talks of no pyramids of Fowl, 
" or bilks of Filh," is nothing to it ; for here we fee an innocent, 
pcribn, unlefs punifted-for his Mother's and Houfc-kceper's ex- 
ua\agance, as was faid before, in their Mufhrooim, Mangoes* 
Bamboons, Ketchup, and Anchovies, reduced to the extremity of 
eating his cketfe without bread,. ad having no other drink but. 



water. For be and hit boy, with two /addles on his back anil 

wallet, came into a walk of confuted trees, where an owl hollows^ 

a bear and leopard walk acrofs the defart at a drftance, and jet 

they venture in j where Valentine accofts his boy with thefe lines, 

which would draw tears from ny thing that is not marbles 

" Hang up thy wallet on that tree 

" And creep thou in this hollow place with me, 

" Let's here repofe our wearied limbs till they more 

" wearied be ! 

" BOY. There is nothing left in the wallet but one piece of 
< cheefe. What fhall we do for bread ? 

" VAL. When we haveflept, we will feek out 
' Some roots that fhafll fupply that doubt. 
" BOY. But no drink, Mafter? 
" VAL. Under that rock a fpring I fee, 
Which (hall refrefli my thirft and thce."" 

So the Aft dofeS ; and it is difmal for die Audience to con- 
fider how Valentine and the poor boy, who, it ieems, had a com- 
ing ftomach, fhould continue there all the time the mufick was 
playing, and longer. But, to eafe them of their pain, by an in- 
vention which the Poets call catajlrophe, Valentine, though with 
a long beard, and very weak with faffing, is reconciled to Florida, 
who, embracing him, fays, " I doubt I have offended him too 
much ; but I will attend him home, cherMh him with cordials, 
" make him broths," (poor good-natured creature ! I wifh fhe 
had Dr. Lifter's Book to help her !) " anoint his limbs, and be 
' a nurfe, a tender nurfe, to him." Nor do blefllngs come alone ; 
-for the good Mother, having refrejbed him with warm bath, 
and kept him tenderly in the boufe, orders Favourite, with re- 
peated injunctions, " to get the beft entertainment fhe ever yet 
* provided, to confider what fhe has and what fhe wants, and to 
" get all ready in few hours." And fo this moft regular work is 
concluded with a dance and a wedding-dinner. I cannot believe 
there was any thing ever more of apiece than the Comedy. Some 
perfons may admire your meagre Tragedies ; but give me a Play 
where there is a profpeft of good meat or good wine ftirring in 
$very Aft of it. 

Though 1 am confident the Author had written this Play 
and printed it long before the " Art of Cookery" was thought 

7 o LETTERS, &c. 

of, and I had never read it till the other Poem was very nearly per? 
fcfted ; yet it is admirable to fee how a true rule will be adapted 
to a good work, or a good work to a true rule. I fhould be 
heartily glad, for the fake of the publick, if our Poets, for the 
future, would make ufe of fo good an example. I doubt not 
but, whenever you or I write Comedy, we fhall obferve it. 

I have juftnow met with a furprizing happinefs ; a Friend that 
has fcen two of Dr. Lifter's Works, one ." De Buccinis Fluviatilibus 
" et Marmis Exercitatio," an Exercitation of Sa and River 
Shell-nlh; in which, he fays, fome of the chiefeft raritifs are the 
fizzle and fpermatic vejels of a Snail, delineated by a microfcope, 
the omentttm or caul of its throat, its Fallopian tube, and its Jub- 
crocean tefticle ; which are things Hippocrates, Galen, Celfus, 
]Fernelius e , and Harvey f , were never mailers of. The other 
curiofity is the admirable piece of Ccelius Apicius, " De Opfoniis, 
*' five Condimentis, five Arte Coquinaria, Libri decem," being 
Ten Books of Soups and Sauces, and the Art of Cookery, as it is 
excellently printed for the Doftor, who in this fo important affair 
is not fufficiently communicative. My Friend fays, he has a 
promife of leave to read it. What Remarks he makes I fhall 
not be envious of, but impart to him I love as well as his 

Moft humble fervant, &c, 

Born in Picardy about the end of the fifteenth century. He made 
a remarkable progrefs in his fiudies at Paris. Before he applied him- 
felf entirely to phyfic, he taught philofophy in the College of St. Bar, 
bara } vhich he was forced to quit on the great increafe of his praftice. 
He was much efteemcd by Henry II, when Dauphin } who could not 
prevail on him to accept the place of firft phyfician till fome years after he 
came to the throne. Fernelius got a vaft eftate by his bufmefs 5 and was 
the author of many valuable works, which, with his Life by William 
Plantius his' difciple, have been frequently re-primed. 

f Dr. William Harvey, born April 2, 1578, and immortalized by hi? 
difcovery of the circulation of the blood. He had the happinefs, in his 
life-time, to find the clamours of ignorance, envy, and prejudice, againft 
his dottrine, totally filenced, and to fee it univerfally eftabli&ed. It has, 
by length of time, been more and more confirmed j and every man now 
fees and knows it from his own experience. Dr. Harvey died June 3,1657. 
His works, with an admirable portrait of the Author, were publimed, in 
one volume, 4 to, by the College of Phyficians, in ,766, with an elegance 
which reflefts the higheft honour on that refp eflable body. 


t 7* 1 





INGENIOUS LISTER, were a pifture drawn 
With Cynthia's face, but with A neck like Brawn j 
With wings of Turkey, and with feet of Calf, 
Though drawn by Kneller h, it would make you laugh J 
Such is, good Sir the figure of a Feaft, 5 

By fome rich Farmer's wife and fifter dreft; 
Which, were it not for .plenty and for fteam, 
Might be refembled to a fick man's dream, 
Where all ideas huddling run fo fart, 

That Syllabubs coine firft, and Soups the laft, 10 

Not but that Cooks and Poets ftill were free, 
To ufe rheir power in nice variety ; 
Hence Mackarel feem delightful to the eyes, 
Though drcfb'd with incoherent Goofeberries. 
Crabs, Salmon, Lobfters, are with Fennel fpread, 1-5 

Who never touch'd that herb till they were dead ^ 
Yet no man lards fait Pork with Orange-peel, 
Or garnifhes his Lamb with Spitchcock'd Eel. 

A Cook perhaps has mighty things profefs'd, 1 

*jfhen fent up but iwo difhes nicely drefs'd, ao j 

What fignify Scotcht-collops to a Feaft ? 

See an account of Dr. Lifter, vol. I. p. 189. 

h Sir Godfrey Kneller was at the head of his profeflion, from the reign 
of Charles II, to that of George I ; and had the honour to draw the 
portraits of ten crowned heads, befides feveral eleftors and princes, and 
*aoft of the nobility of England, 

F 4 Or 


Or you can make whip'cl Cream ; pray what relief 

.Will that be to a Sailor who wants Beef ; 

Who, lately fhip-wreck'd, never can have eafe, 

Till re-eftablifh'd in his Pork and Peafe ? j| 

When once begun, let induftry ne'er ceafe 

Till it has render'd all things of one piece : 

At your Defert bright Pewter comes too late, 

When your firft courfe was all ferv'd up in Plate. 

Moft knowing Sir ! the greateft part of Cooks aft 

Searching for truth, are cozen'd by its looks. 
One would have all things little ; hence has tried 
Turkey Poults frefh'd, from th' Egg in Batter fried ; 
Others, to fliew the largenefs of their foul, 

Prepare you Muttons fwol'd, and Oxen whole. ^ 

To vary the fame things, fome think is art. 
By larding -of Hogs-feet and Bacon-tart, 
The tafte is now to that perfection brought, 
That care, when wanting fkill, creates the fault, 

In Covent-Garden did a Taylor dwell, AQ 

Who might deferve a place in his own Hell : 
Give him a fingle coat to make, he'd do't; "J 

A v.eft, or breeches fingly ; but the brute > 

Could ne'er contrive all three to make a fuit : J, 

father than frame a Supper like fuch deaths, ^> 

I'd have fine eyes and teeth without my nofe. 

You that from pliant Paflc would fabricks raife, 
Expecting thence to gain immortal praife $ 
Your knuckles try and let your finews know 
Their power to knead, and give the form to dough j e$ 

Chufe your materials right, your feafoning fix, 
And with your Fruit refplendent Sugar mix : 
From thence of courfe the figure will arife, 
And elegance aJorn the furface of your Pies. 

Beauty from order fprings : the judging eye jj 

Will tell you if one fingle plate's awry. ' 

The Cook muft ftill regard the prefent time, 
T'omit what's in feafon is a crime. 
Your infant Feafe t' Afparagus prefer, 
Which to the Supper you may beft defer. 60 



Be cautious how you change old bills of fare, 
uch alterations fliould at leaft be rare ; 
Yet credit to the Anift will accrue, 

Who in known things ftill makes th' appearance new. 

Frefh dainties are by Britain's traffick known, 4j 

And now by conftant ufe familiar grown ; 

What Lord of old would bid his Cook prepare, 

Mangoes, Potargo, Champignons, Caveare ? . 

Or would our thrum-capp'd Anceftors find fault 

For want of Sugar-tongs, or Spoons for Salt ? 7 

New things produce new words, and thus Monteth 

Has by one veffel fav'd his name from death. 

The Seafons change us all. By Autumn's froft, 

The fhady leaves of trees and fruit are loft. 

But then the Spring breaks forth with frefh fupplies, 7j 

And from the teeming Earth new buds arife. 

o Stubble Geefe at Michaelmas are feen 
Upon the fpit ; next May produces Green. 

The fate of things lies always in the dark, 
What Cavalier would know St. James's Park 1 ? 
For Locket's (lands where gardens once did fpring, 
And Wild-ducks quack where Grafshoppers did fing; 
A Princely Palace on that fpace does rife, 
Where Sedley's k noble Mufe found Mulberries. 


In the time of king Henry VIII, the Park was a wild wet field ; 
but that prince, on building St. James's palace, inclofed it, laid it out in 
walks, and, collecting the waters together, gave to the ncw-inclofed ground 

-and new-raifed building the name of St. James. It was much enUrged by 
Charles II ; who added to it feveral fields, planted it with rows of lime- 
frees, laid out the Mall, formed the canal, with a decoy, and other pond 
for water fowl. The " Lime-trees or 77//a," whofe blofibms are incom- 
parably fragrant, were probably planted in confequence of a fuggeftion of 
ftlr, Evelyn, in his " Fumifugium," published in 1661. (See p. 48. of 
ia edition re-printed by B. White in 1772.) The improvements lately 
made feem in fome meafure to have brought it into the rtace it was ia 
before the Reftoration ; at leaft, the Wild-ducks have in their turn given 
way to the Grafshoppers. 

fc Sir Charles Sedley was born at Aylesford, in Kent, about 1639. At 
17 years of age, he was a fellow commoner of Wadham College, Oxford ; 
and rst'-irued to his o\yn country without taking any degree. At die Re- 



Since Places alter thus, what conftant thought 
Of filling various diflies can be taught ? 
For he pretends too much, or is a fool, 
Who'd fix thofe things where Fafliion is the rule. 

King Hardicnute, m'ulft Danes and Saxons flout, 
Carouz'd in nut-brown Ale, and din'd on Grout : 
Which difti its priftine honour ftill retains, 
And, when each Prince is crown'd, in fplendour reigns. 

By Northern cuflom, duty was exprefs'd 
To friends departed, by their Funeral Feaft. 
Though I've confulted Holinfhed ' and Stow m f 
I find it very difficult to know 

ftoration, ke came to London j commenced wit, courtier, poet, and gallant j 
and was fo much efteemed as to be a kind of oracle among the poetf . 
\Vhilft the reputation of his witincieafed,he became poor and debauched, 
bis eftate was impaired, and his morals much corrupted. In 1663, being 
fined five hundred pounds for a riot in Bow-ftreet, he became more ferious, 
and applied to politicks. His daughter Catharine, having been miftrefs to 
James II. before he afcended the throne, was created countefs of Dor- 
chefter, Jan. 2, i68j. Sir Charles, who looked upon this title as a 
fplendid indignity purchafed at the expence of his daughter's honour, was 
extremely active in bringing about the Revolution ; from a principle of 
gratitude, as he faid himfelf : " for, fince his majefty has made my 
" daughter a countefs, it is fit I fhould do all I can to make his daughter 
' a queen." He died Aug . 20, 1701. His works, which bear great 
marks of genius, were printed in a vols. Svo. 1719. Amongft rhem is 
a comedy called < The Mulberry Garden," afted at the Theatre Royal 
1668. Tfcat garden is atfo mentioned in feveral other comedies of the laft 

1 Raphael Holinfhed, who lived in the fixteenth century, publi/hed his 
* Chronicles** in z vols. folio, 1577 ; and again in 3 vols. 1587. In the 
fecond edition, feveral fhects were caftrated, in compliance to queen 
Elizabeth and her miniftry 5 but thofe caftrations have been printed fepa- 

m John Stow was born about 1535, and died April 5, 1605. He 
greatly aflifted Holinfted in the laft edition of his '< Chronicles ;" and 
publi/hed his " Survey of London," in 159$, 4*0. (fince frequently re- 
printed ; the fifth edition, in 1730, in a vols. folio, by Mr. Strype, with 
additions, and the Author's Life). In 1600, he published his ' Flore* 
*' Hiftoriarum j" reprinted with additions about five years afterward ; but, 
*w in its improved ftate, it was a mere abridgement of a hiftory of this 



Who, to refrefh th'attendants to a grave, 

Burnt-claret firft or Napks-bifcuit gave. 

Trotter from Quince and Apples firft did frame 

A Pye which ftill retains his proper name : IOO 

Though common grown, yet, with white Sugar ftrow'd, 

And butter'd right, its goodnefs is allow'd. 

As Wealth flow'd in, and Plenty fprang from Peace, 

Good-humour reign'd, and Pleafures found cncreafe. 

'Twas ufual then the banquet to prolong, IOJ 

By Mufick's charm, and fome delightful fong : 

Where every youth in pleafmg accents ftrove 

To tell the ftratagems and cares of Love. 

How fome fuccefbful were, how others croft : 

Then to the fparkling glafs would give his toaft, HO 

Whofe bloom did moft in his opinion fhine, 

To relifli both the Mufick and die Wine. 
Why am 1 ftvl'd a Cook, if I'm fo loth 

To marinate my Fifh, or feafon Broth, 

Or fend up what I roaft with pleafmg froth ; 115 

If I my Mailer's gi.fto won't difcern, 

But, through my bafi:ful folly, fcorn to learn ? 

When among fricndi good-humour takes its birth, 

'Tis not a tedious Feaft prolongs the mirth ; 

But 'tis not realon therefore you ihould (pare, 1*0^ 

When, as dieir future Burgefs, you prepare, > 

For a fat Corporation and their Mayor. * 

All things fliould find their room in proper place j 
-And what adorns this treat, would that difgrace. 

nation, which he had been above forty years collecting. " Stow ind 

" Holingfhed (faid an able Writer in 1727), the jcft and contempt of their 

learned and witty contemporaries, for long ftories of Jhewt and Jberijfs, 

11 are become the ferious amufement of our prefent Virtuofi. Any unin- 
formed, fenfelefs heap of rubbifli, under the name of a Hiftory of a 
Town, Society, College, or Province, have long fmce taken from us the 

-very idea of a genuine compofition. Every Monkifli Tale, and Lye, 
and Miracle, and Ballad, are refcued from their dull and worms, to 
proclaim the poverty of our Forefathers ; whofe nakolnefs, it feerm, 
their pious Pofterity take great pleafure to pry into : for of all thofc 
Writings given us by the Learnid Oxford Antiquary [Hi ARM], there 
is not one that is not a difgrace to Letters ; moft of them are fo to 
Common Senfc, aad fome even to Human Nature." Critical Enyuirj, 
I* p. $3. 



Some times the vulgar will of mirth partake, 1*5 

And have exceflive doings at their wake : 

Even Taylors at their yearly Fcafts look great, 

And all their Cucumbers are turned to Meat. 

A Prince, who in a Foreft rides afiray, 

And weary to fome cottage finds the way, 13* 

Talks of no pyramids of Fowl or bifks of Fifli, 

But hungry fups his Cream ferv'd up in earthen difli : 

Quenches his thirft with Ale in nut-brown bowls, 

And takes the hafty Raflier from the coals : 

Pleas'd as King Henry with the Miller free, jjj 

Who thought himfelf as good a man as he. 

Unkfs fome fweetnefs at the bottom lye, 
"Who cares for all the crinkling of the Pye ? 

Jf you would have me merry with your cheer, 
Be fo yourfelf, or fo at leaft appear. ? 4 

The things we eat by various juice controul 
The narrownefs or largenefs of our foul. 
Onions will make even Heirs or Widows weep; 
The tender Lettuce brings on fofter fleep ,- 

Eat Beef or Pye-cruft if you'd ferious be : |^.c 

Your Shell-nfti ratfes Venus from the Sea ; 
For Nature, that inclines to ill or good, 
Still nourifhes our paflions by our food. 

Happy the man that has each fortune tried, 

To whom fhe much has given, and much denied ; jj% 

With abftinence all delicates he fees, 
And can regale himfelf with Toaft and Cheefe ! 

Your Betters will defpife you, if they fee 
Things that are far furpafling your degree j 
Therefore beyond your fubftance never treat; 155 

Tis plenty, In fmall fortune, to be neat. 
*Tis certain that a Steward can't afford 
An entertainment equal with his Lord. 
Old age is frugal ; gay youth will abound 

With heat, and fee the flowing cup go round. i6 

A Widow has cold Pye ; Nurfe gives you Cake ; 
From genei-ous Merchants Ham or Sturgeon take. 
The Farmer has brown Bread as frefli as day, 
And Butter fragrant as the dew f May. 



Cornwall Squab-pye, and Devon White-pot brings, 165 

And Leicefter Beans and Bacon, food of Kings ! 

At Chiiftinas-time, be careful of your fame, 
See the old Tenants table be the fame ; 
Then, if you would fend up the Brawner's head, 
Sweet Roferrwry and Bays around it fpread : 7l 

His foaming tufks let fome large Pippin grace, 
Or midft thofe thundering fpears an Orange place; 
Sauce like himfelf, offenlive to its foes, 
The roguifh Muftard, dangerous to the nofe. 
Sack and the well-fpic'd Hippocras the Wine, 175 

Wailail the bowl with ancient ribbands fine, 
Porridge with Plumbs, and Turkeys with the Chine. 
Jf you perhaps would try fome difli unknown," 
Which more peculiarly you'd make your own, la 

Like ancient failors ftill regard the coaft, 
By venturing out too far you may be loft, 
By roafting that which your Forefathers boiPd, 
And boiling what they roafted, much is fpoil'd. 
That Cook to Britifh palates is complete, 185 

Whofe favoury hand gives tarns to common meat. 

Though Cooks are often men of pregnant wit, 
Through nicenefs of their fubjecl, few have writ. 
In what an awkward found that Ballad ran, 
Which with this bluftering paragraph began ; ifl 

tbere teas a jprincc of ILuibetlanB, 
$ potentate of bleb commanB, 
3Cen t^oufanD Ba6er0 BiB attenu bim, 
"STen tboufanti 3&retoer0 BiB befdenB bim? 

rou&bt bim Iftifaing-crirOfa, anB tboCe : ;c 

bim Small Beer, before be tofe* 

The Author raifes mountains fceming full, 
But all the cry produces little nuoo! : 
So, if you fuc a. Beggar for a houfe, 

And have a verdift, what d'ye gain .* A Loufr ! 2** 

Homer, more modeft, if we fcarch his Books, 
\Yill fhcw us that his Heroes all were Cooks : 
How lov'd Patroclus with Achilles joins, 
To rruarter, out the Oxs, and fpi: the. loins* 


Oh could that Poet live ! could lie rehearfe 205 

Thy Journey, LISTER, in immortal verfe ! 


Oh, how would Homer praife their dancing Dogs, 
Their ftinking Cheefc, and Fricafee of Frogs ! Zl9 

He'd raife no fables, fmg no flagrant lye, 
Of Boys with Cuftard choak'd at Newberry ; 
But their whole courfes you'd entirely fee, 
How all their parts from firft to laft agree. 

If you all forts of perfons would engage, 41 j 

Suit well your Eatables to every age. 

The favourite Child, that juft begins to prattle, 
And throws away his Silver Bells and Rattle, 
Is very humourfome, and makes great clutter, 
Till he has Windows on his Bread and Butter : 229 

He for repeated Supper-meat will cry, 
But won't tell Mammy what he'd have, or why. 

The fmooth-fac'd Youth, that has new Guardians chofe, * 
From Play-houfe fleps to Supper at the Rofe, > 

Where he a main or two at random throws : 225 > 

Squandering of wealth, impatient of advice, 
His eating mud be little, coftly, nice. 

Maturer Age, to this delight grown ftrangc, 
Each night frequents his club behind the Change, 
Expecting there frugality and health, 3<l 

And honour riling from a Sheriff's wealth : 
Unlefs he fome Infui ance-dinner lacks, 
'Tis very rarely he frequents Pontack's. 
But then old age, by ftill intruding years, 

Torments the feeble heart with anxious fears : 2j 

Morofe, perverfe in humour, diffident, 
The more he ftill abounds, the lefs content, 
His Larder and his Kitchen too obferves, 
And now, left he fliould want hereafter, ftarves : 
Thinks fcorn of all the prefent age can give, *4 

And none thefe threefcore years knew how to live. 
But now the Cook muft pafs through all degrees, -y 

And by his art difcordant tempers pleafe, " > 

And minifter to Health and to Difeafe. ) 



Far from the Parlour have your Kitchen plac'd, 445 

Dainties may in their working be difgrac'd. 
In private draw your Poultry, clean your Tripe, 
.And from your Eels their flimy fubftance wipe. 
Let cruel offices be done by night, 
For they who like th riling abhor the fight. j ; 

Next, let discretion moderate your coft, 
And, when you treat, three courfes be the moft. 
Let never frefh machines your Pafhy try, ^ 

Unlefs Grandees or Magirtrates are by : i 

Then you may put a Dwarf into a Pye n . 25$ J 

Or, if you'd fright an Alderman and Mayor, 
Within a Pafly lodge a living Hare ; 
Then midft their graved Furs fhall mirth arife, 
And all the Guild purfue with joyful cries. 

Crowd not your table : let you-r number be 3$f 

Not more than feven, and never lefs than three. 

'Tis the Defert that graces all the Feaft, 
Tor an ill end difparages the reft : 
A thoufand things well done, and one forgot, 
Defaces obligation, by that blot. fc^j 

Make your tranfparent Sweet-meats truly nice. 
With Indian Sugar and Arabian Spice : 
And let your various Creams incircled be 
With fwelling Fruit juft ravifh'd from the tree. 
Let Plates and Difhes be from China brought, 37* 

With lively paint and earth tranfparent wrought. 

In the reign of Charles I, Jcffery Hudfoa was lerved up to table, iti 
a cold pie, at Burlcigh on the Hill, the feat of the duke of Buckingham ; 
and, as foon as he made his appearance, prefented by the duchefs to the 
queen, who retained him in her fervice. He was then feven or eight 
years of age, and but eighteen inches in height ; and grew no taller till 
after thirty, when he fliot up to three feet nine inches. The king'* 
gigantic porter once drew him out of his pocket, in a mafque at court, t 
the furprize of all the fpeftatoxs. Soon after the breaking out of the civil 
war, he was made a captain in the royal army ; attended the queen, in 
1644, into France, where he fought a duel with Mr. Crofts, with piftol*, 
on horfeback, and killed his antagonift the firft fire. After the Rcflo- 
ration, he was imprifomfd in the Gatehoufe, on fufptcion of being con- 
cerned in the Popifii plot, and died in confinement in bis fixtjr tkird yeaiv 
Granger, vol. II. p. 405. 

A |ok$ which, has been frequency gut ic practice. The 


The Feaft now done, clifcourfes arc renew'd, 
And witty arguments. with mirth puifu'd : 
The cheerful Mafter midfl his jovial friends. 
His glafs " to their heft wiflies" recommends. ff~j 

The Grace-cup follows to his Sovereign's health, 
And to his Country, " Plenty, peace, and wealth." 
'Performing then the piety of grace, 
Each man that pleafes re-aiTumes his place : 
While at his gate, from fuch abundant ftore, 21* 

He fhowers his god-like bleffings on the poor. 

In days of old, our Fathers went to war, 
Expefting fturdy blows and hardy fare : 
Their Beef they often in their murrions ftew'd, 
And in their Bafket-hilts their Beverage brew'd. 285 

Some Officer perhaps might give content, 
To- a large cover'd Pipkin in his tent, 
Where every thing that every Soldier got, 
Fowl, Bacon, Cabbage, Mutton, and what nor, 
Was all thrown into bank, and went to pot. 29* 

But, when our conquefls were extend ve grown, 
And through the world our Britim worth was known, 
\Vealth on Commanders then flow'd in apace, 
Their Champaign fparkled equal with their Lace : 
Quails, Beccofko's, Ortolans, were fent 295 

To grace the levee of a General's tent. 
In their gilt Plate all delicates were fcen. 
And what was Earth before became a rich Terrene. 

When the young Players get to Iflingtori, 

They fondly think that all the world's their own : 300 

Prentices, Parifli-cleiks, and Hectors meet ; 
He that is drunk, or bullied, pays the Treat. 
Their talk is loofe ; and o'er the bouncing Ale, 
At Conilables and Jurtices they rail : 

JJot thinking Cuftard fuch a fcrious-thing, 305 

That Common Council Men 'twill thither bring; 
"Where many a man, at variance with his wife, 
With fofcening Mead and Cheefe-cake ends the ftrife. 
Even. Squires come there, and, with their mean difcourfe, 
Kendtr the Kitchen, which they fit in, wotfc. 310 

Midwives demure, and Chamber-maids moft gajr, 
foremen that pick the box and come to play. 



Here find their entertainment at the height, 

In Cream and Codlings reveling with delight. 

What thefe approve the great men will diflike : 31 

But here's the art, if you the palate ftrike, 

By management of common things, fo well, 

That what was thought the meaneft fliall excel ; 

While others ftrive in vain, all perfons own 

Such dimes could be drtfs'd by you alone. 3 j 

When ftraiten'd in your time, and fervants few, 
You'll rightly then compofe aa ambigite: 
Where firft and fecond Courfe, and your Defert 
All in one fingle table have their part. 

From fuch a vaft confufion 'tis delight, 325 ") 

To find the jarring elements unite, > 

And raife a ftrufture grateful to the fight. J 

Be not too far by old example led, 
With caution now we in their footfteps tread : 
The French our relifli help, and well fupply 330. 

The want of things too grofs by decency. 
Our Fathers moft admir'd their Sauces fweet, 
And often alk'd for Sugar with their Meat j 
They butter'd Currants on fat Veal beftow'd, 
And Rumps of Beef with Virgin-honey ftrew'd. 335 

Jnfipid Tafte, old Friend, to them who Paris knowr, ' * 
Where Rocombole, Shallot, and the rank Garlick, grow. 

Tom Bold did firft begin the ftrolling mart, 
And drove about his Turnips in a cart : 

Sometimes his Wife the Citizens would pleafe, 340 

And from the fame machine fell Pecks of Pcafe. 
Then Pippins did in Wheel-barrows abound, 
And Oranges in Whimfey-boarcls went round, 
Bcfs Hoy firft found it troublefome to bawl, 
And therefore plac'd her Cherries on a ftall ; - 343 

Her Currants there and Goofebcrries were fpread, 
With the enticing gold of Ginger-bread : 
But Flounders, Sprats, and Cucumbers, were cried, 
And every found and every voice was tried. 

At laft the Law this hideous din fupprefs'd, 2<e 

And order'd that the Sunday mould have reft ; 
And that no Nymph her noify food mould fell, 
Except it were new Milk or Mackarel. 

VOL. HI. G There 


There is no difli but what our Cooks have made, 
And merited a charter by their trade. 355 

Kot French Kickfhaws, or Oglio's brought from Spain, 
Alone have found improvement from their brain ; 
But Pudding, Brawn, and White-pots, own'd to .be 
Th'effects of native ingenuity. 

Owr Britifii Fleet, which now commands the main, 36*, 

Wight glorious wreaths of victory obtain, 
Would they take time ; would they with leifure work, 
With care would fait their Beef, and cure their Pork ; 
Would boil their liquor well whene'er they brew, 

Becaufe that, thrift and abftinence are good, 
As man'y things if rightly underftood ; 
Old Crofs condemns all perfons to be Fops,, 
That can't regale themfelves with Mutton-chops.. 
He often for ftuft Beef to Bedlam runs, 37, 

And the clean Rummer, as. the Peft-houfe, fliuns., 
Sometimes Poor Jack and Onions are his .dim, 
And then he faints thofe Frynrs whoftink of Fifli*. 
As for myfelf,, I take him to abftain, 
Who, has good meat, with decency, though plain: 375 

But,, though my edge be not too nicely let, 
Ye: I another's appetite may whet ; 

May teach him when to buy, when, feafon's part, > 

What's ftale, what choice, what plentiful, what wafte, - 

And lead him through the various maze of tafte.. 3 So Jj 

The fundamental principle of #11 
Is what ingenious Cooks TH RELISH cnU ; 
For, when the market fends in loads of food, 
They all are tafteltfs till that makes. them gqcxl* 
Befides, 'tis no ignobk piece of care, ^f^ 

To know for whom it is you would prepare : 
You'd pleafe a Friend, or reconcile a Brother, 
A tefty Father or a haughty Mother : 
Would mollify a Judge, would cr^m a Squire^ 
Or elfe fome fmiles from. Court you may dclire i- 35^ 

Or would, perhaps, fome hafty Supper give, 
To'fiiewthe fplendicl ilatc in which you live. 
Purfuant to,that intered you propofe, 
Muft all your \Vines anil ;;!! your Tslcat be cjioje, 

THE ART O F C O O K E R Y. 83 

Let men and manners every dim adapt, 395 

Who'd force his Pepper where his guefts are clapt? 

A cauldron of fat Beef and ftoop of Ale 

On the huzzaing mob fliall more prevail, 

Than if you give them with the niceft art 

Ragouts of Peacocks-brains, or Fil l>ert-tart. 40* 

The French by Soups and Haut-gouts glory raife, 
And their defires all terminate in praifc. 
The thrifty maxim of the wary Dutch 
Is, to fave all the money they can touch : 

" Hans," cries the Father, " fee a Pin lies there,' 405 

*' A Pin a day will fetch a Groat a vear. 
" To your Five Farthings join Three Farthings more; 
44 And they, if added, make your Halfpence Four !" 
Thus may your ftock by management encreafe, 
Your wars fliall gain you more than Britain's peace. 410 

Where love of wealth and rufty coin prevail, 
What hopes of Sugar'd Cakes or Butter'd Ale ? 

Cooke garnifli out fome tables, fome they fill, 
Or in a prudent mixture Ihew their fkill : 

Clog not your conftant meals; for difhes few 41 r 

Encreafe the appetite, when choice and new^ 
Even they who will Extragavance profefs, 
Have ftill an inward hatred for Excefs. 

Meat, forc'd too much, untouch'd at table lies, * 

Fe,w care for carving trifles in difguife, 4-20 L 

Or that fantaftic dim fome call furprize. j 

When pleafures to the eye and palate meet, 
That Cook has render'd his great work complete : 
His glory far, like SIR-LOIN'S KNIGHTHOOD, flies; 
Immortal made, as KIT-CAT by his Pies. 423 

Good-nature muft fome failings overlook, 
Kot wilfulnefs, but errors of the Cook. 
A ftring won't always give the found defign'd 
By the Mufician's touch and heavenly mind : 
Kor will an arrow from the Parthian bow i'" ' 430 

Still to the deftin'd point direftly go. 
Perhaps no Salt is thrown about the difh, 
Or no filed Parflcy fcatter'd on the Fifli j 

G 4 Shall 


Shall I in pafllon from my dinner fly, 

Ad hopes of pardon to my Cook deny, 435 

For things which careleflnefs might overfec, 

And all mankind commit as well as he r 

T with compaflion once may overlook 

A Skewer fent to table by my Cook : 

Btttr think not therefore tamely I'll permit 440 -v 

That he mould- dairy the fame fault commit* 

Per fear the Rafcal fend me up the Spit ! j 

Poor Roger Fowler had a generous mind r , 
Nor would fubmit to have his hand confin'd, 

B&c aim'd at all ; yet never could excel 4^' 

In any thing but fluffing of his Veal r 

But, when that difh was in perfc&ion {en> 

And that alone, would it not move your fpleen ? 

'Tistrue, in a long work, foft (lumbers creep, 

And' gently fink the Artift into fleep. 4^. 

Even Lamb hitnfelf, at the moft folemn feaft, 

Might have fome chargers not- exadly drefh. 
Tables ihould ba like piftur-es to the fight,. 

Some diflies caft in fhade^. fbme fpread in lights 

Ssn;e at a diftance brighten, fome near hand,. 4/55 

Where eafe may all tlieir dellcace command : 

Some mould be mov'd when broken ; otlicrs laft- 

Through the whole treat, incenriw to the taftc^ 
Ltcket, by many labours ft-eble grown, 

Up from the Kitchen call'd his deleft Son : 460^ 

" Though wife thyfclf," fays he, " though taught by me, 

" Yet fix this fentence in thy memory : 

M There are fome certain things that don't excel,. 

" And yet wse fay are tolerably iall.t 

There's many worthy men a Lawyer prize* 46 j 

" Whom they diilinguifh as of middle fize,, 

*' For pleading well at Bar-, or turning Books, 

"But this is nor, my Son, the fate of Cooks, 

" From whofe myfterious art true pleafure fprings 

'* To ./fa// of Garter^ and to throne of Kings., 479 

u A fimple fcenc, a difobliging fong, 

Which no way to tlic raain defign belong. 


** Or were they abfent never would be mifs'd, 

x< Have made a well-Wrought Comedy be hifs'd : 

" So in a Feaft no intermediate fault 475 

* f *WilI be allow'd ; bur, if not beft, 'tis naught." 

He that of feeble nerves and joints complains 
From Nine-pins, Coits, and from Trap-ball, ahftains; 
Cudgels avoids, and fhuns the Wreftling-place, 
Left Vinegar refound 'his loud difgrace. ^^ 

ut every one to Cookery pretends, 
Nor Maid or Miftrefs e'er confult their friends. 
Bur, Sir. if you would roaft a Fig, be free : 
Why not with Brawn, with Locket, or with me? 
We'll fee when 'tis enough, when both eyes out, 683 

Or if it wants the nice concluding bout. 
But, if it lies too long, the crackling'* patl'd, 
Not by the Drudging-box to be recall'd. 

Our Cambrian Fathers, fparing in their Food, 
Firft broil'd their hunted Goats on bars of wood, ,49* 

Sharp Hunger was their feafoning, or -they took 
Such Salt as iffued from the native rock. 
Their Sallading was never far to feek, 
The poignant Water-grafs, or favoury Leek; 
Until the Britifh Bards adornM iSns Ifle, ^ 95 

And taught tliem howtp roaft, and how to boils 
Then Talieffiu rdfe,, and fvveetly fining 
His Bririfli Harp, inftrufling whilft he fungi 
Taught them chat honefty they fUll poffefs, 

Their truth, their open heart, their modeft drefs, 500 

I>nty to kindred, conftancy to friend?, 
And inwartl -worth, which always recommends j 
Contempt of wealth and pleafure, to appear 
To all mankind with hofpitablc cheer. 

In after-ages, Arthur taught his Knights jce 

At his Round Table to record their tights. 
Cities erafc'd, encampments forc'd in field, - 

Monrters fubdued, and hideous tyrants quell'd, \ 

Infpir'd tliat Cambrian foul which ne'er can yield. J 

Then Guy, the pride of Warwick, truly great, 510 

T future Heroes due example fet, 

9 3 % 


By his capacious cauldron made appear, 

From whence the fpirits rife, and ftrength of war. 

The prefent age, to Gallantry encll.'d, 

Is'pleas'd with vaft improvements of the mind. ,51.5 

He that of honour, wir, and mirth, partakes, 

May be a fit companion o'er Btef-fteaks, 

His :;ame may be to fuiuiv times enroll'd 

In Lftcour 's 'ioolP, vViiofe Gridiron's fram'd of Gold. 

Scorn notthefe lines, defign'd to let you know 52, 

Profits that from a well-plac'd Table flow. 

'Tis a fage qucition, if the Art of Cooks 
Is lodg'd by Nature, or attain'd by Books : 
That man will never frame a noble treat, 

Whofe whole dependance lies on fome Receit. 525 

Then by pure Nature tyeiy thing is fpoil'd, 
She knows no more than ftew'd, bak'ci, lonft, and boiPd. 
When Art and Nature join^th' effect will be 
Some nice Ragout, or charming Fricaj'ee. 

The lad that would his genius fo advance 539 

That on the rope he might jjecurely da. ce, 
From tender years enures himfelf to pains, - 

To Summer's parching heat, and Winter rains, > 

And from the fire of Wine and Love abftains ; J 

!No Artift can his Hautboy's ftrps command, 535 

UnLefs fome fkilful Mafter form his hand ; 
But Gentry take their Cooks though never tried, 
It feems no more to them than up and ride. 
Preferments granted thus fhew him a fool 
That dreads a parent's check, or rods at fchool. cj. 

Ox-cheek when hot, and War.lens bak'd, fome crvj 
But 'tis with an intention men fhould buy. 

f That is, be admitted a member of The Beef Steak Club." . 
Richard Eftcourt, who was a Player and Dramatic Writer, is celebrated ;n 
the Spedtator, as pofiefled of a fprightly wit and an eafy and natural" 
poluenefs. His company was much coveted by the great, on' account of 
his qualifications as a boon companion. When the famous Beef Steak 
Club was firft inftituted, he had the office of Providore afligned him ; and, 
95 a mark of diaii\dion, tifed to wear a fmall gridiron of gold hung 
about his neck with a green filk ribband. He tiled in the year 1713. 


T II E A R T O F ' C OO K E R Y. 8? 

^rlwrs abound with fucli a plenteous (lore, 

Thar, if you'll let them treat, they'll afk no more : 

And 'tis the vaft ambition of thtir foul, .545 

To fee their Port admir'd, and Table full. 

But then, amid ft that cringing fawning crowd, 

Who talk fo very much, and laugh fo loud, 

Who with fuch grace his Honour's actions .praife, 

PQW well he fences, dances, Tings, and plays j .530 

Tell him his Livery's rich, his Chariot's fine, 

Ho.v choice his Meat, and delicate his Wine; 

Surrounded thus, how fheuld the Youth defcry 

The happinefs of Fricndfhip from a Lye ? 

Friends act with cautious temper when imccre, 555 

&ut flattering Impudence is void of care: 

So at an Irifh Funeral appears 

A train of Drabs with mercenary tears ; 

\Vho, wringing oft their hands with hideous moan, 

Know not his name for whom they fcern to groan j *6o 

While real Grief with filent fteps proceeds, 

And Love unfci^n'd with inward palTion bleeds. 

Hard fate of Wealth 1 Were Lords as Butchers wife, 

They from their meat would hanim all the "flies I 

The Pcrllan Kings, with Wine and malty Bowl, 565 

Search'd to the dark receffes of die foul : 

That, fo laid open, no one might preten3, 

Unlefs a man of worth, to be their Friend. 

But now the Guefts their Patrons undermine ; 

And dander them, for giving them their Wrnc.*| 

Great men have dearly thus -companions bought: . . . > 

Unlefs by thefe inftrudtiorrs they'll be taught, > 

They fpread the net, and will themfelvcs be caught. J 

Were Horace, that great Matter, now alive, 
A Feaft with wit and judgement he'd ctiiftri've. 5^5 

As thus : Suppofing that vo'u would rchearfe 
A lubour'd Work, and every DHh a Veffif. 
He'd fay, " Mend this, and t'other Line, jnd 
if after trial it were ("till aniits, 
He'd l)i J you give ft a new turn of face, 
Of let fonic Dilh more curious in its place. 


If you perfift, he would not ftfive to move 
A pafiion fo delightful as Self-love. 

We fhould fubmit our Treats to Criticks' view, 
And every prudent Cook fhould read BolTu 1. 585 

Judgement provides the Meat in feafon fit, 
. Which by the genius dreft, its fauce is Wit. 
Good Beef for Men, Pudding for Youth and Age, 
Come up to the decorum of the Srage. 

The Critick ftrikes out all that is not juft, 59* 

And 'tis even fo the Butler chips his Cruft. 
Poets and Paltry-cooks will be-the fame, 
Since both of them their images muft frame. 
Chimaera's from the Poet's fancies flow : 
The cook contrives his fhapes in real Dough. 595 

When Truth commands, there's no man can offend, 
That with a modeft love corrects his Friend, 
Though 'tis in toafting Bread, or buttering Peafe, 
So the reproof has temper, kindnefs, eafe. 

But why mould we reprove when faults are fmall ? 6o 

Becaufe,'tis better to have none at all. 
There's often weight in things that feem the leaft, 
And our rnoic trifling follies raife the jeft. 

'Tis by his cleanlinefs a Cook muft pleafe, 

A Kitchen will admit of no difeafe. 405 

The Fowler and the Huntfman both may run 
Amidft that dirt which he muft nicely fhun. ' 

! M. Le Rene Boflu, a native of Paris, began the courfe of his fiddles at 
Navarre } wnere he difcovered an early tafte for polite literature, and fdon 
made a furprizing'progrefs in all the valuable parts of learning. HJS firft 
great publication was, a " Parallel, or Companion betwixt the Principles 
" of Ariftotle's Natural Philol'ophy and thofe ot Defcartes. Paris, 1674." 
And next year produced his celebrated treatife on E, ic Poetry, which, 
Mr. Boileau fays, is one of the beft compolitions on the fuhjedl that ever 
appeared in the French language. It has gone through feveral editions. 
To one printed at the Hague, in 1714, F. Le Courayer has prefixed a dif- 
courfe on that treatife, and fome encomiums on it 5 and has alfo given fome 
memoirs of the author, who died March 14, 1680, aged 42 j and left a 
*aft number of Mf. volumes, which are kept in the abbey of St. John de 
Charire*. _ 



Empedocles, a Sage of old, would raifc 

A Name immortal by unufual ways j 

At laft his fancies grew fo very odd, 6l0 

He thought by roaj!ig to be made a God. 

Though fat, he leapt with his unwieldy fluff 

In vEtaa's flames, fo to have Fire enough. 

Were my Cook fat, and I a ftander-by) 

I'd rather than himfclf his Fifh fhould fry. $,- 

There are fome perfons fo cxceflive rude, 
That to your private Table they'll intrude. 
In vain you fly, in vain pretend to fafl: ; 
Turn like a Fox, they'll catch you at the laft. 
You muft, fince bars and doors are no defence, fj^ 

JEven quit your houfe as in a peftilence. 
Be quick, nay very quick, or he'll approach, 
And, as you're fcampering, flop you in your Coach, 
Then think of all your fins, and you will fee 
How right your guilt and punifhment agree: 4 a . 

Perhaps no tender pity could prevail, 
But you would throw forae debtor into gaol. 
Now mark th'cftift of his prevailing curfe, 
You are detain'd by fomething that is worfe. 

Were it in my eledion, I fhould chufc, g _ 

To meet a ravenous Wolf or Bear got loofe : 
He'll eat and talk, and talking ftill will eat, 
No quarter from the Parafite you'll get ; 
But, like a Leech well fix'd, he'll what's good. 
And never part till famfic<i with Blood. g 


, L E T T E R S T O 


To Mr. 


I MUST communicate my hnppinefs to you, bcarafc you are 
fo much my Friend 'as to rejoice nt it. I fomc days -ago met 
with an ol<l Acquaintance, a curious perfon, of whom I enquired 
jf%ie had fecn the Book, concerning Soup", and Sauces. He told 
me he had ; but that- he had hut a very flight view of it, the per- 
fon who was matter f it not being willing to part with fo va- 
luable a rarity out of his Cloiet. J defired him to give me what 
account he could of it. He fays, that it is a very hand fomc 
Oftavo; for, ever -fince the davs of Ogilhy r , good paper and good 
print and hue cuts make a Book become ingenious, and brighten 
up an Author ftrangclv ; that there is a copious Index ; and at 
the end a Catalogue of all the Doctor's Works, concerning 
Cockles, Englifh Beetles, Snails, Spielers that get up into the 
-air and throw us down Cobwebs, a Monfter vomited up by a 
Baker, and fuch like ; which, if carefully perufcd, would wonder- 

r " Here fwells the (nelfwith Co ILB Y THE GREAT.'' Duncia'l, i. 141,' 
John OgilSy, famous for the number as well -as the embelliftiment 
of his publications, Was born at Edinburgh about Nov. 17, 1600. Re 
vas by proi'-jiTion a dancing-rhaflcr ; but, getting lame by dn accident, 
applied himfcU to liudy. ' H'e translate:) the works tf Virgil, and pub iftied 
them, with his own piilure prefixed, in Svo, 1649-50. It was re-printed 
in 1659, on royal folio; and has his picture before it, as moft of the 
books which he pttbJi&ed have. At fifty-four years of age, he laarntd 
.the Greek tongue, and fet about his ^ranflation of Homer, which was 
p'ublifr.ed in 1660. ( The fame year he alfo printed a very fine Bible at 
Cambridge, In 1661, he was appointed mafter of the revels in Ireland. 
On his return to London, he continued his employment of tranflating and 
printing poetry till ihe great fire in September 1666, which deftroyed his 
whole property. He had afterward the good fortune to be appointed his 
majcfly'?; cofmogrspher and geographic printer j and printed feveral great 
voiks, translated or collected principally by himfelf. His laft and greeted 
undertaking was an " Atlas," which he did not live to finilh ; dying 
Sept. 4, 1676. He was employed by Charles II. to take a furvey of the 
roads of the kingdom ; and the pofls were rt-gulated according to that 
furvey. See Granger. Winftanley, in h>s " Lives of Poets," freaks of 
" Ogilby's large volumes, his translations of Homer and Virgil dyne ta 
" //'? lifif z?.A wilh fid excellent [culptvrei : and (what added great grace 
" to' his wJ.rks) he piintcd ihn all on ffeclnl good paper, and in a very 
" go* Utter." talr 

D R. L IS T E R A N D O T H E R S. u 

-fully improve us. There .is, it feems, no Manufcript ef it. in 
England, nor any other country that can t>e heard of; fo that this 
imprelTion is from one of Humclbcrgius, who, as my Friend 
fa\s'ic does i>ot believe contrived it himfelf, becaufe the things 
are fo very much out of the way, that it is not probable any 
.Learned Man would fet himfclf ferioufly to work to invent 
them. He tells me of this ingenious remark made by the Editor, 
' That, whatever Manufcripts tlierc might have been, they mufc 
" have been extremely vicious and corrupt, as being written out 
" by the Cooks themfelves, or fome of their Friends or Servants, 
" who are not always the molt accurate." And then, as my 
Friend obferved, if the Cook had ufed it much, it might be ful- 
lied ; the Cook perhaps not always licking his fingers when lie 
had occafion for it. I fliould think it no improvident matter for 
the State to order A fcler. Scrivener to tranfcribe Receipts, left 
ignorant Women and Houfe-keepers mould jmpofe upon future 
ages by ill-fpelt and uncorreft Receipts for potting of Lobften, 
or pickling of Tqrkeys. Cailius Apicius, it fecms, pafles for 
the Author of this Treatife; whofc fcience, learning, and difci- 
pline, were extremely contemned, and almoft abhorred, by- 
Seneca and the Stoicks, as introducing luxury, and infe&ing tluc 
manners of the Romans; and fo lay neglefted till the inferior 
ages ; but then were introduced, as being a help to Phyfick, to 
which a Learned Author, called Donatus, fays, that " the Kitchen 
<< is a Handmaid." I remember in our days, though we cannot 
in every refpeft come up to the Ancients, that by a vet)' good Au- 
thor an old gentleman is introduced as making uie of three 
Doctors, Dr. Diet, Dr. Quiet, and Dr. Merriman. They are 
reported to be excellent Phyficians ; and, if kept at a conlrant 
penfiou, their fees will not be very coftly. 

It feems, as my Friend has learnt, there were two perfons that 
bore the name of Apicius, one under the Rcpublick, the 'other in 
the time of Tiberius, who is recorded by Pliny, " to have had a 
" great deal of wit and judgement in all aifairs that related tp 
"Eating," and confequently has his name affixed, to many 
forts of Aumulets and Pancakes. Nor were Emperors lefs" 
contributors to fo .great an undertaking, as Vitellius, Com- 
modu.s, Didius Julianas, and Varius Hcliocabalus, whofe Im- 
perial names are prefixed to manifold receipts ; the laft of which 
Jiiiiperors had the peculiar glory of fall making Saufages o 



Shrimps, Crabs, Ovfters, Sprawr.s, and Lobfters. And thefe 
Saufages being mentioned by the Author which the Editor pub- 
lifhes, from that and many other arguments the Learned Doctor 

irrefragably maintains, that the Book, as now printed, could not 
be trarifcribcd till after the time of Heliogabalus, who gloried in 

:the Titles of Apicius and Vitellius, more than Antoninus, who 
had gained his reputation by a temperate, auftefe, and folid 
virtue. And, it k-ems, under his administration, a peifon that 
found out a new Soup might have as great a reward as Drake* or 

Dampier 1 might expetl for finding a new Continent. My 

'Friend favs, die Editor tell us of unheard-of dainties ; how 

<"' .SLfopu.s had a fupper of the tongues of Birds that could 
*' {peak ;" and that ' his Daughter regaled on Pearls," though 
he does not tell us how (he dreOcd them ; how " Hortenfius left 
w ten thoufand Pipes of Wine in his Cellar, for his Heir's drink- 

'" ing;" bow *' Vedius Pollio fed his Fifh-ponds with Man's 

-" Flefh ;" and how " Ca?far bought fix thoufand weight of 
" Lampreys for his Triumphal Supper." He fays, the Euitor 
proves equally to a demonftration, by the proportions and quanr 
tities fet down, ami the nauf^oufnefs of the ingredients, that 

the Dinners of the Emperors were oidered'by their Phyficians ; 

'and that the Recipe was taken by the Cook as the Collegiate 
Doclors would do their Bills to a modern Apothecary ; and that 
this cuftom was taken from the Egyptians ; and that this method 

continued rill the Goths aad Vandals overran the Weflern Em- 

s Born in Devonftiire in 1545. Before he had the royal fanfUon for 
his depredations, he was a famous freebooter againft the Spaniards. He 
was the firfl Englishman that encompafled the globe ; which he performed 
in two years and about ten months, from 1 577 to i 579. Magellan, whofe 
ftips pailed the South Seas fome time before, died in his paflage. On the 
4th of April, i S 8i, her majefty conferred on Drake the honour of km t ht- 
kpod. In 1587, by burning 100 veffels at Cadiz, he fufpended the threat- 
ened invafion fora year; and about the fame time, took a rich Eaft 
India rarraxk ntar the Terceras, by which the Engii/h gained fo great in- 
fight into trade in that part of the world, that it occafioned the eftabliflj- 
inent of the Eaft India Company. In 1588, he was appointed vice- 
admiral undsr lord Effingham, and acquitted himfelf in that important 
comn-and with his ufual valour and conduO. He'died Jan. 28, 1595^6. 

t Captain William Dampier was born in Somerfetfhire in 3652. He 
was employed in a voyage to the South Seas, w'th Woodes Rogers, at the 
time Dr. King wrote this Utter; from whence he returned in S,eptembet, 
1711. His voyage round the world is well known, and has gone through 
many editions. ^ . 


pire ; and that they, by ufe, exercife, nnd necefllty of abftinence, 
introduced the eating of Check and Venifon without thofe addi- 
tional Sauces, which the Phyficians of old found out to rtftorc 
the depraved appetites of fuch great men as had loft their 
ftomachs by an excels of luxury. Out of the ruins of Erafiftra- 
tus's Book of EnJivt, Glaucus Lorrenfis of Cow-heel, Mithaecus 
of HA-pots, Dionyfius of Sugar-fops, Agis of Pukled Broom- buds, 
Epinetus of Sack-po/et, Euthcdemus of Applt-JumpUng!* Hege- 
fippus of Black-pudding, .Crito of Svwccd Mackard, Stephanus 
cf Lemon-cream, Archites of Hogs-barjlet, Aceftius of $uince- 
marmalade, Hkkeiius of Potted Pigeons, Diodes of Swet-breaJt, 
and Philiftion of Oat-cakes, and feveral other fuch Authors, rlwi 
great Humclbergius compofed his Anaotations upon Apicius j 
whofe Receipts,, when part of Tully, Livy, and Tacitus, have 
been neglefted and loft, were prcfer'ved in" the utinoft parts of 
Tranfylvv.ia, for the peculiar palate of the ingenious Editor 
Latmus Latinius finds fault with feveral difhes of Apicius, and 
is pleafed to fay they are naufeous ; but our Editor defends that 
great perfon, by (hewing the difference of our cuftoms/ho\y 
Plutarch fays, 1 " the Antients ufecl no Pepper," whereas all or at 
lead five or fix hundred of Apicius's Delicates were fcafoned 
with it. For we may as well admire that fome Weft Indians 
Ihould abftain frora Sak, as that we fiwuld be able to bear the 
bitternefs of Hops in our common drink : and therefore we 
fliould not be averfe to Rue, Cummin, Parfley-feed, Marfh- 
mallows, or Nettles, with our common Meat ; or to have Pep- 
per, Honey, Salt, Vinegar, Raifins, Muftarcl and Oil, Rue, 
Mafnck, and Cardamums, ftrown promifcuoufly over our Dinner 
When it comes to table. My Friend tells me of fome toort 
'legations he made out of the Annotations, which he owes to 
h memory ; and therefore begs pardon if in fome things lie 
may miftake, becaufe it is not wilfully, as dm Papirius Petui 
was the great patron of Cuftard r That the Tetrapbvrmacon. 
" a difh much admired by the Emperors Adrian and Alexander 
* Severus, was made of Pheafant, Peacock, a wild Sow's Hock 
and Udder, wrth a Bread Pudding over it; and that the name 

Ph ikians""^ f Odd * diih ^ t0 bC fOUght f r amon S ft dlc - ' 

The Work is divided into Ten Books ; of which the Eiifl treat* 
1 Soups and Pickk-s, andaraongft other things' Ihws "ti'iat Sauce- 


pans were tinned before the time of Pliny; that Gordian ufed 
a Glafs of Bitter in a Morning; that the Antients fcalcled their 
Wine ; and that burnt Claret, as now praftifed, with Spice and 
Sugar, is pernicious ; that the Adulteration of Wine was as 
ancient as Cato ; that Brawn was a Roman Difh, which Apicius 
commends as wonderful -, its Sauce then was Muftard and Honey, 
before the frequent ufe of Sugar: nor were Sowced Hoes- feet, 
Cheeks, and Ears, unknown to thofe ages. It is very probable, 
they were not fo fuperftitious as to have fo great a delicate only 
at" Chriilmas. It were worth a Dillcrtation between two learned ' 
perfons, fo it were managed with temper and candour, to know 
whether the Britons taught it to the Romans, or whether Caefar 
introduced it into Britain: and it is ilrangc he fliould take no 
notice of it ; whereas he lias recorded that they did not eat Hare's 
flcfli ; that the Antients ufed to marinate their Filh, bv frying 
them in Oil, and the moment they were taken out pouring 
toiling Vinegar upon them. The Learned Annotator obferves, 
that the beft way of keeping the Liquor in Cyders is, by lay- 
ing the deep Shell downwards ; and by this means Apicius con- 
Teved Oyfters to Tiberius when in Parthia. A noble invention, 
fince made ufe of at Colch^fter with moft admirable fuccefs J 
What efta'es might Brawn or Locket have got in thofe days, 
when Apicius, only for boiling Sprouts after a new fafhion, 
tlcTervcdly came into the good graces of Drufus, who then com- 
manded the Roman armies ! 

The Firft Book having treated of Sauces or {landing Pickles 
for Relifli, which are ufed in moft of the fucceeding Receipts ; 
the Second has a glorious fubjet, of Saufages, both with fkins 
and without, which contains matters no lefs remarkable than 
the former. The Antients that were delicate in their eating 
prepared their own Mufhrooms with an Amber or at leaft a Silver 
Knife j where the Annotator fhews elegantly, againft Hardouinus, 
that the whole Knife, and not only the Handle, was of Amber 
or Silver, left the rufUnefs of an ordinary Knife might prove 
infeffious. This is a nicety which 1 hope we may in time ar- 
live to ; for the Britons, though not very forward in inventions", 
jet are out-done by no nations in imitation or improvements. 

The Third Book is of fucli Edibles as are produced in Gar- 
dens. The Romans ufed Nitre, to make their Herbs look green ; 
the Annotitor 'ihews'our Salt-petfe at prefent to differ from the 
6 ancient 

ancient Nitre. Apicius had a way of mincing tlicm firft with 1 

>il and Salt, and fo boiling them ; which ]'li av commends 
But the prcfent Receipt is, To let the Water boil W J1J ; throw in r 
Salt and a bit of Butter; and fo not onlv Sprouts bat Sprna^c 
will be green. There is a moft extraordinary obfcrvation of the 
Editor's, to which I cannot but agree ; that it is a vulgar error, - 
that Walnut-trees, like Ruffian Wives, thrive the better for beir.L' 
beaten } and that long poles and- ftones are ufed by bovs and 
others to get the fruit down, the Walnut-tree -being fo vcrv ' 
high they could not othcrwife reach it, rather out of kinJncfs ' 
to themkU-es, than any regard to the Tree that bears it. As- for 
Afparagus, there is an excellent remark, that, accordii^ to Pliny, ' 
thjy were the great care of the ancient Gardens, and that at' - 
lavenna three weighed a Pound ; but that in England it xvai - 
thought a rarity when a Hundred of them weighed thirty .- that - 
Cucumbers are apt to rife in the Stomach, unlcfs pared, or boiled 
With Oil , \inegar, and Honey: that the Egyptians would drink - 
hard without any difturbancc, bccaufe it was a .rule for them 
o have always boiled Cabbage for their firft diih- at Supper r - 
that the beft way to roaft Onions is in Cole wort Leaves, for fear 
of burning them : that Beets arc good for Smiths, becaufe they 
working at the fire, are generally cortive .- that Petvomus ha,' 
recorded a little eld Woman, who fold the Agrtft O/,- o f the 
Ancients , which honour I take to be a. much due to thofc w-ho 
. our days cry Ncttk,tops, Elder-buds, and Cliver, in- fpring, 
time very wholefome. 

The Fourth Book contains the univerfal Art of Cookery. A*' 
Hatdueus Sylvaticus compofed the Pandefts of Phyfic, and 
Juftmian thofe of Law; fo Apiciu, has done the PandeAs of bb 
Alt, m this Book which bears that infcription. The ^irft 
Chapter contains the admirable Receipt of a Salacacaby of Apicius 
Brmle m a Mortar Parley-feed, dried Penerval, dried Mnt,' ' 
Gmger, green Coriander, R a ifi ns ftoned, PIoev, Vinegar, Oil - 
and Wme; put them into a Caw&ulua-, th^ Cru.ts tf 1'vcet, 
tine Bread tl : Flefl, of al'ullet, Goat Ston^ Veffine Chcefc, 
- Kfnels, Cucumbers, .dried Onions minced 

. . . a; 

Soup aver it, garmfl, with Snow, and fend it up in 
Mum. Th Lacabulum bong, an unulual veiV.-l, mv 
went to bisD^ionary. whe^ finding an odd b^2 
vvaseahly periuade<l, from the whimficalneft of - 
U the fauufttculnefs of Snow-f^- 'us ,mirm f , 



the propereft veflel for a Phyfician to prescribe to fend to table 
upon that occafion might be a Bed-pan. There are fome ad- 
mirable Remarks in the Annotations to the Second Chapter, 
concerning the Dialogue of Afellius Sabinus, who introduces a 
corn bat bet ween Mufhrooms, Chats or Beccofico's, Oyfters, and Red- 
\, a Work that ought to be puMilhed : for the fame An- 
notate r obferves, that this Hi and is not deftitute of Redwings, 
though coming to us only in the hardeft weather, aoid therefore 
feltlom brought fat to our tables ; that the Chatt come to us in 
April and breed, and about Autumn return to Africk ; that 
experience fhews us they may be kept in cages, fed with Beef or 
Wether Mutton, Figs, Grapes, and minced Filberds, being 
dainties not unworthy the care of fuch as would preferve our 
Brhifti Kofpitality. There is a curious obfervation concerning 
tlw: divcrfity of Roman and Britifh dimes ; the firft delighting 
in Hodge-podge, Gallimaufreys, Forced Meats, Julfels, and Sal- 
magundies ; the latter in Spear-ribs, Surloins, Chines and Barons ; 
and thence our terras of Art, both as to Dreffing and Carving, 
become very different; for they, lying upon a fort of Couch, 
could not have carved thofe difhes which our Anccftors when 
they fat upon Forms ufed to do. But, fince the ufe of Cufhions 
and Elbow-chairs, and the Editions of good Books and Authors, 
it may be hoped in time we may come up to them. For indeed 
hitherto we have been fomcthing to blame ; and I believe few 
of us have feen a difli of Capon-ftones at table (Lamb-ftones 
is acknowledged by the learned Annotator that we have) : for 
the art of making Capons has long been buried in oblivion. 
Varro, the great Roman Antiquary, tells us how to do it by 
burning of their fpurs ; which, occafioning their fterility, makes 
them. Capons in erFet, though thofe parts thereby became more 
large and tender. 

The Fifth Book is of Pcafe-poi ridge ; under whicn are in- 
cluded, Frumetary u , Watcrgruel, Milk-porridge, Rice-milk, 
1'luvnary, Stir-alx>ut, and the like. The Latin or rather 
Gveek name is Auffrioj ; but my Friend was pleafed to entitle it 
Pantagruel, a Name ufed by Rabelais w , an eminent Phyfician. 

' There 

* On which, Dr. King has written a very ingenious Poem. 

Rabela ; .s, born about 1483, was Srft a Francifcan, and then a Bene- 
diaine ; but quitted both for the habit of a fecular prieft. After rambling 
about fome time, he fixed at MontpeJ ier, where he took the degrees ia 



There are fome very remarkable things in it; as, The Emperor had feldom any thing but Spoon-meat at Supper : that 
the Herb Fenugreek, with Pickles, Oil, and Wine, was a Roman 
Dainty ; upon which the Annotator obferves, that it is nor ufed 
in our Kitchen*, for a certain ungrateful bitternefs that it has ; 
jtnd that it is plainly a Phyfical Diet, that will give a ftool; and 
that, mixed with Oats, it is the beft Purge for Horfes : an ex- 
cellent invention for frugality, that nothing might be loft ; for 
What the Lord did not eat, he might fend to his Stable ! 

The Sixrh Book treats of Wild-fowl ; how to drefs Oftridges* 
(the biggeft, groirell, and inoft difficult of digeftion, of any Bird), 
Phcenicoptrices, Parrots, &c. 

The Seventh Book treats of things Jitmptvous and coftly, and 
therefore chiefly concerning Hog-meat ; in which the Romans 
came to that exdefs, that the Laws forbad the ufage of Hogs- 
harflet, Sweet-breads; Checks, &c. at their public Suppers ; 
and Cato> when Cenfor, fought to reftrain the extravagant ufs 
of Brawn, by feveral of his Orations. So much regard was 
had then to the Art of Cookery, that we fee it took place in 
the thoughts of the wifelt men, and bore a part in their moft 
important councils. But, alas ! the degeneracy of our prefent 
age is fuch, that I believe few betides the Annotator know the 
excellency of a Virgin Sow, efptcially of the black kind brought 
from China ; and how to make the moft of her Liver, Lights, 
Brains, and Pettitoes ; and to vary her into thofe fifty diflies 
which, Pliny fays, were ufually made of that delicious Creature. 
Bcf:dcs, Galen tells us more of its excellences : " That fellow 
" that eats Bacon for two or three days before he is to box or 
" wreftle, fhall be much ftronger than if he fliould eat the beft 
rt Roaft Beef or Bag Pudding in the Parifh." 

The Eighth Book treats of fuch Dainties as four-footed Beads 
atford us ; as, i. the Wild Boar, wh4cu they ufed to boil with all 
ks briftles om 2. The Deer, drelled with Broth made with 
Pepper, Wine, Honey, Oil, and ftewed Damfons, &c. 3. The- 
Wild Sbeep> of which there are " innumerable in the Mountains 
* of Yorkfhire and Weftmorhnd, that will let nobody handle 
" them ;" but, if they are cau-ght, they are to be fent up with 

phyfic, and pfaftifed with great reputation. He published, in 1532, forne, 
pieces of Hippocrates and Galen ; and his " Hiftory of Car^antuft an* 
" Pantagruel" in 1535. He died in icj'j. 

VOL. III. H an 


an " elegant Sauce, prcfcribed after a phyfical manner, in forn 
of an Ekauary, made of Pepper, Rue, Parsley-feed, Juniper,, 
' Thvme dried, Mint, Pcneryal, Honey, &c.'* with which any 
Apothecary in that country can furmih you. 4. Beef, with 
Onion Sauce, and commended by Celfus, but not much approved 
by Hippocrates, becaufe t-he Greeks fcarce knew how to make 
Oxen, and Ponvdering-tubs were in very few Families : for Phy- 
ficians have been very peculiar in their Dret in all ages ; other- 
wife Galen would fcarce have found out that young Foxes were 
in feafon in Autumn. 5. The Sucking Pig boiled in Paper. 
6, Tin: Have, the chief of the Roman dainties ; its Blood being: 
the fweeteft of any Animal, its natural fear contributing to thac 
excellence,. Though tlie Emperors and Nobility had Parks to 
fatten them in ; yet in the time of Didianus Julianus, if any one- 
had fcnt him one, or a Pig, he would make it laft him three: 
days ; whereas Alexander Sevarus haJ one every meal, which- 
muft have been a great expcnce, and is very remarkable. But 
the moft exquifuc Animal was referved for the laft Chapter; 
and that was the Dormoufe, a harmlcfs creativre, whofe innocence; 
might at leaft have defended it both from Cooks and Phyfkians- 
But Apicius found out an odd fort of fete for thofe poor crea- 
tures ; fome to be boned, and others to be put whole, wkh odd 
ingredients, into Hsgs-g:cls y and fo boiled for Sauiagcs. In an- 
cient times, people made ir their bufinefs to fatten them : Anftotle. 
tightly obferves, that fleep fattened them, and Martial from 
thence too poetically tells us that fl'eep was their only nourifh- 
ment.. But the Annotatof has cleared that point ; lie, gol man,. 
has tenderly oWerved one of them for many years, and find.; 
shat it does not fleep all the Winter, as falfely reported, but 
wakes at meals, and after its repaft then rolls itfelf up in a ball 
t fleep. This Dcrmoufe, according to the Author, did not 
drnik in three years time ; bat whether other Dormice do fo, I 
cannot teH, becaufe Bambocfelbergius's Treatifc " of Fattening 
" Doranice" is lolt. Though very coftly> they btcame a: common 
diih at great entertainments. Petronius delivers us an odd Re- ' 
eeipt for drcffing them, and ferving them up with Poppies and 
Honey; which muil be a. very foporiferous dainty, and as good 
as Owl-pye to fuch as want a nap after dinner. The fondnefs 
of the Romans came to be fo excellivc towards them, that, as 
Pliny lays, " the Ccnfom.u Laws and iVUrcus Scaurus in hi; 


'- Confulfhip, got them prohibited from public entertainments." 
Bur Nero, (Join mod us, and Heliogabalus, would not deny the 
libcitv, and indeed property, of their fubiects in fo reafonable 
an enjoyment ; and therefore we find them long after brought 
to table in the times of Ammianus Marcellinus, who tells us 
likewife, that " fcales were brought to table in tliofe ages, to 
" weigh curious Fifties, Birds and Dormice," to fee whether they 
were at the ftamlard of excellence and perfection, and fometimes, 
I fuppofe, to vie with other pretenders to magnificence. The 
Annotator takes hold of this occafion, to fhew " of how great 
" ufe fcales would be at the tables of our Nobility," cfpeciall* 
upon the bringing up of a difh of Wild-foul : " For if twelve 
M Larks (fays he) fhould weigh below twelve ounces, they would 
" l)c very lean, and fcarce tolerable ; if twelve and down-weight, 
"they would be very well j but if thirteen, they would be fat 
* to perfection." We fee upon how nice and exact a balance the 
happinefs of Eating depends ! 

I could fcarce forbear fmilin?, not to fay worfe, at fuch ex- 
actnefs and fuch dainties; and told my Friend, that thofe fcalcs 
would be of extraordinary ufe at Dunftable ; and that, if the 
Annotator had not prefcribed his Dormoufe, I mould upon the 
fail occafion be glad to vifit it, if I knew its vifiting-days and 
hours, fo as not to difturb it. 

My Friend faid, there remained but Two Books more, one of 
S.,-n and the other of River Fifh, in the account of which he 
would not be long, feeing his memory began to fail him almoit 
as much as my patience. 

" 'Tis true, in a long work, foft flumbcrs creep, 
" And gently fink the Artill into deep x j" 
efpccially when treating of Dormic*. 

The Ninth, Book is concerning Sea Fifli, where, amongfr, other 
learned Annotations, is recorded that famous Voyage of Apicius, 
who, having fpent many millions, and being retired into Cam- 
pania, heard that there were Lobfters of a vaft- and unufual big- 
nefs in Africa, and thereupon impatiently got on Ihipboard the 
fame day; and, having fufiered much at fea, came at lall to the 
coalt. But the fame of fo great a man's coming had landed 
before' him, and all the Fifliermen failed out to meet him, and 
prefentcd" him with their faircft Lobfters. He afkcd if they had 
no larger. They anfwered, " Their fea produced nothing mow 
* Art of Cookery, ver. 449. 
H 2 


" excellent than what they had brought." This honert freedom 
of theirs, with his difappointment, fo difgufted him, tliat he took 
pet, and had the Matter return home again immediately : and io r 
ic feerrrs, Africa loft the breed of one monfter more than, it had 
before X. There are many Receipts in the Book, to drefs Cramp- 
filh, that numb the hands of thofe that touch them z ; the Cuttle- 
fifli, whole blood is like ink ; the Pourcontrel, or Many-feet ; 
the Sea-urchin or Hodge-hog; with feveral others, vvhofc Sauces 
are agreeable to their natures. But, to the comfort of us Mo- 
derns, the Ancients often eat their Oyfters. alive, and fpread hard 
Eggs minced over their Sprats as we do now over our Salt-filh. 
There is one thing very curious concerning Herrings : It feems, 
the Ancients were very fantaftical, in making one thing pafs fo- 
another ; lo, at Petronius's Supper, the Cook fent up a fat Goole, 
Fifh, and Wild-fowl of all forts to appearance, but ftill all wcr 
made out of the fcveral parts of one lingle Porker. The great 
Nicomcdes, King" of Bithynia, had a very delightful deception* 
of this nature put upon him by his Cook ; the King was ex- 
tremely affefted with frefh. Herrings (as indeed who is not'-)- 
but, being far up in Afia from the fea coaft, his whole wealth 
could not have purchafed one; but his Cook. contrived fomt: fort 
of meat, which, put into a frame, fo refe rubied .'- Herring, that it 
was extremely tatisfaftoiy both ro this Prince's eyes and gttflo* 
My i'liend told me, that, to the honour of the City of London, 
he had feen a thing of this nature there ; that is, a Herring, or 
lather a Salmogundy, with the head and tail fo neatly laid, that 
it furprized him. He fays, many of the fpecies may be found at 
the Sugar Loaf in Bell Yard, as giving an excellent relifh to 
Burton Ale, and not coiling above fix pence, an inconfiderablc 
price for fo imperial a dainty. 

The Tenth Book, as my Friend tells me, is concerning fijb 
Sauces, which confiit of variety of ingredients, amongft which is 

7 Lord Lyttelton's Nineteenth, " Dialogue of the Dead ' (perhaps the 
rjicft humourous in that admirable colle<5Uun) feems to hava been entire!)' 
fuuiided on the hints fuggefted by Dr. King.. 

* The wonderful eleflric properties of ths Torpedo have been lately in- 
veftig-ued with the greatcft accuracy by the indefatigable researches of Tohn 
Walfh, ef<j. F. R. S. 

a The biftory of ihe ordering and generation of grata Colchefler oyftert, 
fcy Col. Tuke, u 19 Sprat's Hift. of the R, S p, jo 7 . 

i ** * H v 

generally a kind of Frumetary. But it is not to be forgotten by 
any perfon who would boil Fifli cxaftly, that they threw them 
alive into the water, which at prefent is faicl to be a Dutch Re- 
ceipt, but was derived from the Romans. It feerm, Seneca the 
rhilofopher (a man from whofc morofe temper little good in the 
Art of Cookery could be expeaed), in his Third Book of Na- 
tural Queftions, correaing the luxury of the times, fays, the 
Romans were come to that daintinefs, that they would not eat a 
Fifli unlcfs upon the fame day it was taken, that it mujiittafte of 
" the Sea," as they exprelled'it j and therefore had them brotghtby 
pcrfons who rode poft, and made a great outcry, whereupon all 
other people were obliged to give them the road. It was an 
ufual expreflion for a Roman to fay, In other matters I may 
** confide in you ; but in a thing of this weight, it is not con- 
" fiftent with my gravity and prudence. I will truft nothing but 
" my own eyes. Bring the filh hither, let ma fee him breathe 
" his laft." And, when the poor Fifli was brought to table 
fwimming and gafping, would cry out, Nothing i s more 
more beautiful than a dying Mullet !" My Friend fays, the 
Annotator looks upon thefe " as jefts made by the Stoicks, and 
" fpoken abfurdly and beyond nature ;" though the Annotator at 
the fame time tells us, that it was a law at Athens, that the 
Fifliermen mould not wafk their Fifli, but bring them as they 
came out of the fea. Happy were the Athenians in good Laws, 
and the Romans in great Examples ! But I believe our Britons 
need wifli their Friends no longer life, than till they fee London 
ferved with live Herrings and gafping Mackarel. It is true, we 
are not quite fo barbarous but that we throw our Crab- alive into 
fcalding water, and tie our Lobflers to the fpit to hear them 
fcroeak when they ace roafted ; our Eels ufe the fame periftaltic 
motion upon the gridiron, when their fkin is off and their guts 
are out, as they did before ; and our Gudgeons, taking oppor- 
tunity of jumping after they are flowered, give occafion to the 
admirable remark of fomc perfons folly, when, to avoid the 
clanger of the frying-pan, they leap into' the fire. My Friend 
faid, that the mention of Eels put him in mind of the concluding 
remark of the Annotator, " That they who amongft the Sybarites 
" would fifli for Eels, or fell them, fhould be free from all 
* taxes." I was glad to hear of the word conclude ; and told him 
nothing could be more acceptable to me than the mention of tha 
H 3 Svbarites 

,i LETTERS, &c. 

Sybarites, of whom I fhortly intend a Hiflory, (hewing how they 
dcfervedly banifiicd Cocks for waking them in a morning, and 
Smiths for being ufcful 5 how one cried out becaufe one of the 
"Rofe- leaves he lay on was rumpled; how they taught their 
Horfes to dance; and fo their enemies, coming againfl. them with 
guitars and larpfichords, fet them fo upon their Round Q's and 
Minuets, that the form of their battle was broken, and three "hun- 
dred thoufand of them {lain, as Gouldman b , Littleton, and feveral 
other good Authors, affirm. I told my Friend, I had much 
ovcrflayed my hour; but if, at anytime, he would find Dick 
Huinelbergius, Cafpar Barthius, and another Friend, with him- 
felf, I would invite him to dinner of a few but choice Diflieu to 
cover the Table at once, which, except they would think of any 
tiling better, fhould be a Salacacabv, a Dim of Fenugreek, a 
"Wild Sheep's head and appurtenance with aJintable lilettuary, a 
ragout of Capons Stones, and fome Donnoufe Saula^es. 

If, as Fi lends do with one another at a Venifon-pafty, you 
./hould fend for a plate, you know you may command it ; for 
what it mine is yours, as being entirely your, &c, 

k Francis GoulJman (who was educated at Chrift's College, Cambridge, 
was fometime reftorof S. Okenham in Elfex, and died 1689) publi/hed 
a Latin and Engli/h Dictionary, in three parts, 1 66^, 410 j which was 
feveral times re-printed, and in 1674 much enlarged by W. Robertfon, 
as it was again in 1678 by Dr. ScattergooJ. All the editions were printed 
at Cambridge. The defign of Gouldmar, according to Dr. Littleton, his 
fucccllbr in this fort of learning, was rather to make new additions, than 
t<> ^orrtft former miftakes, or to throw out the many barbarous words 
which had crept into the Dictionaries then extant: for this rea'bn Dr. 
Littleton (of whom fee vol.11, p. 82.) undertook to reform it. A Dia- 
Jyguc between Gouldman and Hefychius is printed in vol. I. p. 155. 








The virtuous difpofition of our Author is no where more re- 
markably diftinguifhed than in this piece ; wherein both the 
fubjeft and the example fo naturally lead into fome lefs chaite 
fome loofer love which itan<js in need of a remedy. 

Bioc. BRIT. 

H 4 

T O T H E 


Son of his Excellency the Earl of PEMBROKE 
and MONTGOMERY b ; Baron HERBERT of Caer- 
diff, Ross of Kendal, PARR, FITZ-HUGH,MAR- 
MION, ST QUINTIX, and HERBERT of Shutland ; 
Knight of the Garter, &c. &c, 


TH E following lines are written on a fubjeft that will 
naturally be protected by the goodnefs and temper of 
jour Lordfhip : for, as the advantages of your mind and per- 
fon muft kindle the flames of Love in the coldetl breall ; fo 
you are of an age moll fuiceptible of them in your own You 
have acquired all thole accomplishments at home, which 

F* Henry lord Herbert fucceeded to his father's titles in 1732, 
and died in 1749. 
b Thomas earl of Pembroke, on the acceflion of William ami 
JVfary, was fent ambafiador extraordinary to Holland ; on his 
return to England, was fworn of the privy council ; made colonel 
of a regiment of marines, and appointed firft commiflioner of the 
admiralty; lord privy leal in March 1691 ; hrft plenipotentiary 
t Ryfurick in 1697 ; lord prefulent of the council, May 1 1, 1699 ; 
lord high admiral of England and Ireland, Jan. 18, 1701-2. The 
latter port he refigoed in May 1702, to make room for the prince 
of Denmark; and was offered on that occafion a great penfion, 
which he generoufly refufcd. He was appointed lord lieutenant 
of Ireland, April 17, no; - f and on the prince's death, Oft. 2t>, 

1708, again lord high admiral. Toward the end of the year 

1709, finding that office too fatiguing, he obtained permilTion 
to refign it. He died in 1732. To the patronage of this noble 
lord Dr. King was indebted for his offices of Judge of the High 
Court of Admiralty and Keeper of the Record* in Ireland. 



others are forced to feek abroad ; and have given the world 
aifurance, by fuch beginnings, that you will foon be quali- 
fied to fill the higheft Offices of the Crown with the lame 
uivivertal applaufe that has conilantly attended your illuitrious 
Father in the dilcharge of them. For the good of your 
Poilerity, may you ever be happy in the choice of what 
you love ! And though thefe rules will be of fmall ufe to 
you that can frame much better ; yet let me beg leave that, 
by dedicating them to your fervice, I may have the honour 
of telling the world, that I am obliged to your Lordfhip ; 
and that I am moil entirely 

Your Lordfnip's 

Moil faithful humble fervant, 



o 7 


IT is endeavoured, in the following Poems, to give tfy: Readers 
of both fexes fome ideas of the Art of Love ; fuch a Love as 
is innocent and virtuous, and whofe tkfires terminate in prefent 
happincis and that of poftcrity. It would be in vain to think of 
doing it without help from the Antients, amongft whom none 
has touched that paffion more tenderly and juftly than OVID. 
He knew that he bore the mailer/hip in that Art ; and therefore, 
in the Fourth Book De Triftibus, when he would give fome ac- 
count of himfelf to future ages, he calls himfelf " Tenerorum 
'* Lufor Amorum," as if he gloried principally in the defcriptions 
he had made of that pallion. He tells us, he was a native of 
Sulmo, a city of the Peligni, about ninety miles to the North 
Kail of Rome : that it was called fo from Solymus, a companion 
of ."Eneas, who was the founder of it about four hundred years 
before the building of that City. This Solymus married a 
daughter of ^Eneas, who brought four with him from Troy : 
the firrt he left married in Thrace, the fecond in Peloponnefus, 
and the third in Epirus. Ovid, in the Second Book of hib Elegies, 
inviting his Miftrefs to Sulmo, dcfcribes it as one of the moft 
charming places that could be, to divert the fummer's heat; re- 
frdhed with dreams of water, rich paftures, corn, grapes, olives, 
and {hade in abundance. Hercules Ciofanus, a native of the place, 
has given a large and accurate account of it, before his excellent 
ohfervations upon Ovid's Works, which deferved the commenda- 
tions of Muretus, Manutius, and Melilius, the greatcft wits of 
that time, Ovid was born on the day when the two Confuls 
Hirtius and Panfa were flain at Mutina, fighting agairrift Mark 
Antony, who had been declared an enemy to the people of PvOine -, 
which was on the twenty-full c of March, in the yioth year after 
<he building of that City. Lucius, his father, was a Roman 
Knight of an antient family, which had preferved that dignity 
fiom the original of the order. Ovid had a brother, exactly a 
year older than iiimfclf, named Lucius. They were lx>tJ fent 
|to I\ome for their education under the beft mailers, where the 

c According to others,, tkc ainttami. 



deleft improved much in the ftudies of the Law, and was matter 
of a vigorous and manly eloquence : but our Publius fays, there 
fecmed to himfelf fomclhing tiiat was facred and celeftial in the 
Mufes, which ftole all his inclinations ; and though he confidered 
his Father's advice d , which told him of the uoprofitableocfs of that 
ihidv,' and bid before him the miferable poverty of Homer, and 
therefore endeavoured to turn his ftyle to Profe, yet Verfes would 
be intermixed, and the words fall into numbers without or even 
ag.tinft his will: fuch was his natural genius and eafmefs, that he 
could no more refrain them, than a large fpring can hinder itfelf 
from fending forth a pleafing liver. At twenty years old his 
brother died, for whom he complains as having loft a companion 
and a friend. By this means he became heir to a large patrimony 
in the territories of Sulmo, and to a houfe in that city, where 
there is now the Church of Sanfta Maria dc Tumba; as aifo to 
another houfe in Rome, near the Capitol, where is at prefent the 
Church of San&a A'Jaria dclla Confolatione ; as likcwife to plea-- 
fant orchards upon the hills between the Flaminian and Claudian 
ways, "m which he might recreate himfeif with his Mufcs. In 
thefe he ufed to employ many hours, watering them, as he tells 
us, with his own handf, as being, mod extremely delighted with 
all forts of Gardening and Hufbnndry. Some of his firlt Mailers 
were Plotius Grippus and Marcellus (by fome ftyled Aurelius), 
jFufcas the Rhetorician, under whom he declaimed to admiration, 
nd gained fo m-uch reputation, that Marcus Anna^us Seneca 
reckons him amongst, the principal of his time. Ovid fays, he 
pleaded the caules of fevcral criminals with good fuccefs, and 
that lie feveral times was arbitrator, and managed matters fo im- 
partially, that the very pedons againft whom he decreed ap- 
plauded his juftiee. He bore fuch offices as his digmtv required, 
and gave fentences in fuch Judicatories as by law ho was called 
to ; but did never afpne to be a Senator, as having a body not 
fitted for labour, nor a mind patient enough to fullain the cares of 
ambition. He was of mean ftature, {lender of body, fpare of 
diet, and, if not too amorous, every way temperate. He drank 
no wine bat what was much allayed with water ; neat in apparel 
pf a free, affable, and courtly behaviour. He took the resolution 
of i priding his time with perfons mod noted for worth and leanj- 
* f Sxp- paier dixit, Studium quid inutile tentas ? 

" Mafcnijes nullas ipfe reji>juit opes." Trill. 1. jv. 

ing : 


ing : amongft whom, Cornelius Gallus a moft wealthy anfl noWe 
Roman, and Marcus V r arro, were his Patrons ; Julius Graccir.u* 
an eminent Grammarian, and that famous Author Jufius Hyginus 
keeper of the Palatine Library, were his particular friends. H" 
was fb great an admirer of Portius Latro and his Sayings, that h 
made ufe of many of them in his Veifes. His chief delight was 
in the converfation of the Poets of his rime, and he never thought 
himfelf bleft but in their company ; cither when he was learning 
the nature of Birds and Serpents, and the virtue of Herbs, from 
Macer ; or the charms of Love's firts from Propertius ; or Heroi 
Aftions of the Thchan War, equal to that of Troy, from Pon- 
ticus ; or the reproof of Vice anxl Folly from the lambkks of 
Ballus ; or, laftlv, all variety of learning and numbers from tl& 
I-ivre of Horace, to whom his liftenrng ear was the more at- 
tentive, becaufe he firft brought the Lyric mer.fures amongft tl 
Romans, for which he had Sufficient caufe to glory. As Ovid 
paid due regard to the Poets thr.t preceded him. fo he lets uslcnovr 
that he did not want fitting rtfpeft from thofc that were younger 
than himfelf. He complai-ns, not without reafon, that lie had 
onh' a fight of Virgil ; and that death hindered the frierulfliipthae 
had elk l>cen between him and Tibullus, to whom he gives the 
fccond place- amorist the Elegiac Poets, as being fucceflbr to 
Gallus : he makes Propertius the Third, and was himfelf die 
youngeit. He began to write very foon, and had a reputation 
before the age that others generally appeared in the world. He 
owns, he had a heart that cafily took fire, and that Love was the 
fubjcft of his Verfes : but it was without reflexion or difreputa- 
tion to any one, though fome people pretended to find out fhe 
pcrfon who was concealed under the feigned name qf CorinntL 
He had written his Hroical Epiftles before f-uch time as the 
regard he bore to Marcus Varro made him accept of a comman<% 
and ferve under him in Afia. In his return from tlienct, he rrut'c 
a ftay at Athens, he attained to the utmoft exaftnefs in die 
Greek tongue : from thence he went to Alexandria, and in both 
thele places undoubtedly furnilhed himfclf whh thofe vaft mines 
and huge ftores of Grecian and Egyptian learning, and all ibai 
Hiftorv, Poetry, and moil occult Philolbphy, which appear In all 
his. "vVork *, but efpecially in liis " Mctamorphofes." Macer tl 
Pocr, before mentioned, was his companion in thdc travels. 
Having fecn moil at Uie Afiatic cities, thev cacie iato Sicily tog/s- 


ther, and diverted themfclves there for almoft a year's fpnce witu^ 
the ramies of that country. He had three wives ; the full when 
he was not quite fixteen years old, from whom, as he fays, for 
fufficient reafons, he was divorced ; and fo likewife from the 
fecond, not for any njal blame in her, but for difiike, according 
to the licentioufnefs of the times : but he extols often the chaftity 
and beauty of the laft, whom he inftrucled in Poetry, and entirely 
affeftetl, ftie continuing inviolably conftant to him, during all his 
misfortunes, notwithftanding many importunate felicitations. By 
the laft he had a daughter, named Perilla, married to Cornelius 
Fidus, by whom- fhe had two children. He continued long in 
favour at the Court of Auguftus, till, in the fiftieth year of his 
age, he fell under the Emperor's difpleafure. Tlfe reafon is un- 
known at this time, and of little ufe to conjefture ; though he 
fays that at Rome every one was acquainted with it e . He feems 
fatisfied that he had buried his father, being ninety years old ; 
and his mother likewife, being antient, foon after him ; that fo 
their old age might not be grieved at his misfortunes. He ex- 
preffes all the duty to them that fo good-natured a fon could do 
jpoffibly; and, if he could, would make their fliades fenfiblc, that 
it was an error, and not a crime, for which he fufrered. He re- 
ceived commands to retire to Tomi, a city of Sarmatia bordering- 
on the Euxine Sea : for Cxfar would not give it fo harlh a name 
as banijktnent. He had a fhip of his own in the Bay of Corinth, 
on which he made his voyage to the Euxine ; and then per- 
formed the reft of his journey on foot to a place the utmoft and 

e He fays in fevcral parts of his works, the caufes of his mifery were 
two: his having compofed books on the Art of Lovf, and his having 
feen femetbing. He does not tell us what it was he favv ; but gives us t$ 
underfland, that his books contributed lefs to his difgrace than that did : 
and on his complaining to Love, that, after labouring to enlarge bis empire, 
he obtained nothing for his reward but banifliment, Love anfwers, 
'< Utque hoc, fie utinam defendere cetera pofiss : 
" Scis aliud, quod te laeferit, efle jnagis." 

De Ponto, 1. iii. ep. 3. 

And in his Second Book De Triftibus, I. ii. ver. 103, he compares him- 
felf to unfortunate AdTzon, who had undefignedly fcen Diana naked, and 
fuffercd for it. Various attempts have been made to conjeflure what 
be faw t but it ftill remains an uncertainty. 


A.R T OP LOVE. ,., 

Bieft inhospitable of any that a Roman had ever been confined to* 
He complains of the dangers and mifcries of his pafiage, and the 
injuilicc of his companions and fervants i but, rcfolved that his. 
fpirit fhould not fink under his misfortunes, he mack: ufe of his 
rcfolution to overcome them, and prevailed fo far as to conquer 
his temper, that had been too much given up to eafe j and bcganv 
to pafs his days in fome content, by means of thofe verfes which: 
be made for his own fatisfaction, without any hopes of their 
coming to the perufal of others. And in this advcrfity of ^he 
Poet his character appears with the greateft luftre : here he fhews 
a courage undaunted, a fpirit not to be caft dowti, a constancy of 
love to the partner of his bed, and a fiiendfhip inviolable to thofe 
perfons of honour that he had confided in, many of which were 
of Confular dignity. He often folicited his repeal by the medi- 
ation of Germanicus Caefar and others, or that he might at leaft 
be removed to tome more temperate clime : but, he fays, hi* 
hopes forfook him upon the death of Auguftus. Yet in the 
fixth year of his confinement he ftill continued to folicit it, ami 
o thcfe ends his writings out of Pontus were defigned : in one of 
them to his wife, he undertakes to flew her, that his expedition, 
was more dangerous than that which Jafon made for the Golden 
Fleece ; as likewU'e in a-nother to Pedo Albitiovanus, a famoua 
Poet, that he had undergone more than Ulylies in all his twenty? 
years : bgenioufly thus contriving to bring either of thofe noble 
fubjefts to be comprehended in one of his Ibort Epiftles. Some 
ef thefe Letters were to his relations, as Rufus Funtlanus^ hia 
wife's uncle ; Suillius, that had married his wife's daughter? ta 
iialanus and Severus, erainent Poets ; to his friends Rufinus, 
Callio, Tuticanus, Atticus, with whom he had been moft inti- 
mate, and many others : as to Maximus Cotta, who. tuft fent 
kiin a moft elegant Oration, and then the images of Auguflus^ 
Tiberius, and Livia, which were a fight in thofe parts that cc- 
cafioned great veneration. He writes to Veftalis, then Governor 
of Ponrus, fprung from Daunus and the Alpine Kings ; as like- 
\\ife to Cotys, the fon of Cotys King of Tlirace, who was then 
Warring upon the Getes, to enlarge his territories, that he might 
be pioteiled from thofe incurfions ; and this, amongft others, he 
prays from the topic of Poetry, to which that Prince, it feems, 
was much addtcled. He writes likewife to Gra^cinus, one of his 
elJrft acquaintance, to congratulate him upon hii being defigned 


Conful ; as likewife to Scxtus Pompeius, when he had the like 
view of that dignity ; and at the fame time acknowledges, that' 
his lift, and the continuance of it, had been owing to his gootf 
offices. Nor did he omit writing to Meffalinus, fon to a cele- 
brated Orator of that name, and a great favourite in the Court of 
Auguftus : but one that he moft relied on was Fabius Maximus, 
a man of the greateft honour, that would not defert a friend for 
the frowns of Fortune ; efpecially one that, as Ovid had done, 
had loved and regarded him from the very time of his birth, 
end had been dependant upon that family, and efpecially his 
father, who was a pcrfon famous for his eloquence as well as his 
great dignity, and was the firft Patron of Ovid's Mufe, having. 
encouraged him to venture his compofirions to try the'ir fuccefs in 
publick. But he loft this good friend in the fifth year of Ins- 
confinement ; and therefore his expectation of relief was more 
entirely thrown upon tine confidence he had In the generofity of 
Brutus, to whom he wrote many pathetic Letters on that occasion. 
In the midft of the Getic wars, his good-humour gained fo far 
upon their barbarous nature, that they became convertible with 
him ; fo that he attained their language to perfection, and made 
it fubmit to numbers fo far, that he wrote a Poem in it. In an 
Epiftle to Carus, who was Tutor to the two C^fars, he tells 
him, " The fubjeft was the praiies of Augaftus : that he taught 
" them, that though the body of Auguftus was mortal, yet his 
*' divine part was gone to the heavens : that his fucceflbr Ti- 
" berius was equal to the virtues of his father, though his mo- 
u defty would have made him refufe the title of Emperor: chat it 
'* was queftionable whether Livia, reputed as the Vefta of hec 
" time for her modefty, was more happy and glorious in a 
' hulband or a fon : that no family could be better fupported 
* than the Emperor's, by two fuch fons as Germanic ;s and 
" Drufus." He recited all this and much more to the Barbarians, 
who by warlike figns tcftified their applaufe ; they exempted hiiw 
from all public burthens; they even againft his will fet garlands 
upon his head ; and ufed him in all refpe&s as kindly as his own 
countrymen would have done i therefore he did not folictt a re- 
moval out of any diflike to the people of the place, but for the 
inclemency of the climate. He muft certainly have been a per- 
fon univerfally beloved ; for he had that happinefs, that Envy 
aever pretended to cricicife upon any of his writings ; for, as he 
7 paid 

A R T O F L O V E. fl $ 

paid due veneration to antiquity an:) the learned men of the tirm>, 
io he owns that his Readers, wlvlft he was living, gave him fuch a 
portion of faint;, as lie rightly judged would laft him to all pofte- 
tity. As his birth was reported to have happened with that of 
Tibullus, one the moft polite, the other tire moft ingenious, of 
the Eles/ia.- Poets ; fo Livy is faid to have died the fame day with 
him, being the tirft of January, that in both he might be moft 
nobly and honourably accompanied. Some Authors think that 
he died at Tomos, in the fifth year of Til>erius. Some fay he 
lived fcven years, nine months, and eleven days ; others eight 
yean, and fome months ; others nine, and others ten years, under 
his misfortunes. All which may be the more uncertain, fmce 
'.vc have none of his Works fmce the Fourth Book of his Letters 
from Pontus, which were written in the fixth year. As he was 
honoured when living, fo his funerals were 'celebrated !>/ die 
Getes with univeifal forrow. He was, is fays Eufebius, buried 
near the gates of the city, where a monument was eretted for 
him hard by' a Jake which retains his name. His Sepulchre' is 
reported by Abraham Ortelius ', who cites Gafpar Brufchius for 
his Author, to have been found in the year 1508, with a magni- 
ficent coverture, on which was this Epitaph : 

FATUM NecEssiTATfs Ltjt. 
Hic/ttui eft f^ates, quern di'j'i Cxfarii ira 

Augujli, patria cadere jujjlt humo. . 
S<ff>e miftr voluit patriis occumbere tfrrjfy 

Sedfrufira -, bunc illifata Jedtre locum. 

A: tianflated by Mr. Sandys : 

" I-Tu-L- lies that living Poet, by the rage 

' Of great_ Augullus banifhed from Rome, 
" \Vl\o in h, r s country fought to inrer his age, 
< But vainly : fate hath lodg'd him in this tomb." 

: A celebrated geographer, bora at Antwerp In April ^527. He tnr 
Ied a great deal in England, Ireland, France, Italy, a 


ed < Orb. Terr,/' and a Tbefattrtt$ G 
, &r.' and died June io, 1598. 


Ifabella Queen of Hungary, about the year 1540, fliewed to 
Petrus Angelus Barcaeus, when he was at Belgrade, a filver pen 
with this infcription, " Ovidii Nafonis Calamus;" denoting that 
it had belonged to Ovid. This had not long before been found 
araongft fome old ruins, and fhe efteemed it as a venerable piece 
of antiquity. The elegant Poet Ccelius Calcagninus, when he 
was in Sarmatia, wrote an Elegy, wherein he defcribes the man- 
ners of the Scythians, and fays, " that not only Tomifvar but 
4< other places contend for the refidence of Ovid ; and that the 
pen remains, wherewith he ufed to relieve his tedious hours in 
" thofe regions ;" where Clius teftifiex all to be true that Ovid 
has recorded of them. And certainly never any two Poets had a 
Mufe more like than thete, fo fitted to the Elegiac ftyle. Calcag- 
ninus has a rarity in his Works not eafily to be found elfewhere, a 
copy of verfes all Pentameters ; which whether they arc not too 
foft, may be a queftion 5 however, being flioit, fliall be-tranfcribed, 
though not attempted in Englifti : 

Defie, Amor, ad Titmulum ; fofoe, Elegeia, comas \ 

Myrrha, tuos crines ; pone, Hyacinths, tuos. 

Sluintia obit, fed non ^uintiafola obit: 

Rifus obit, obit Gratia, Lufus obit : 

>uintia obit, fed cum Quintta 'et ipfe obii 

Nee meet mine anima in peclore fed tumulo eft. 

tJei mibi non poftbac decipietur Amor, 

Cui mater crebro Quintia i/ifafuit, 

Inque hujus pofuit nefcius armafmus, 

Arma, inquam, qua me furripuere tnihi. 

Heu I beu ! trifle jagum quifquit Amor is babet> 

Et prius ac nor it ft periife per it. 

Angelus PolitianusS, another incomparable imitator of OviJ, 
bewails the exile and death of that Poet in ilrains fo foft and 
moving, that I cannot tell whether any language but the Latin is 
capable of expreffing it. Crifpinus, the learned Editor of the 
Dauphin's Ovid, has efteemed it fo much, as to let it be twice 
printed in thofe volumes. Nor does Julius Scaliger upon the 
fame fubjeft want fuch ftrokes as were ufual to fo great a Mafter. 

g Born at Tufcany in July 1454. He \vas a prieft and canon of 
Florence. His works have been much admired, and frequently re-printed. 
He died in 1494. 

6 TJw 

A R T O F L O V E. n 5 

The verfes which Ovid defired his wife might be upon his 
tomb in large characters were thefe : 

Hie ego quijaceo tenerorum Lufor Amorum, 

Ingenio peril Nafo Poeta meo. 
At tibi qui tranfis nonfit grave quifquis amajli 

Dicer e, Nafonis molliter ofa cubent ! 

In which he continues his opinion, that his raafterfhip in the Art 
* Love would be his glory, notwithstanding he had fuffered by 
it; and defircs every traveller that had been in love would wifh 
>*t reft to las bones, which they muft do unlefs they would be 

As to his Works h, his Elegies to Corinna" were the firft 
that were produced in publick, which were in Five Books but 
afterward by him reduced to Three. The fubjefts fprung wholly 
from his own thoughts and imagination, nor does he feem to have 
.orrowed any hint from the Greeks, with whofe language at that 
time m all probability he was not converfant. Of thefe, accord- 
ing to Mr. Dryclen, it may be faid, That, if they be compared 
" vvith thofe of Tibullus and Propertius, it will be found that 
they feldom defigned before they wrote. And though the 
language of Tibullus be more polifhed, and the learning- Q f 
Propemus, efpeciaUy in his Fourth Book, more fet off to 
_ cremation 5 yet their common practice was to look no further 
than the next line,- whence it will inevitably follow, that they 
can drive to no certain point. But Ovid has always the goal 
m his eye, which direas him in his race ; fome beautiful de- 
" hgn, which he firft eftabliihes, and then contrives the mean* 
" which will naturally condud him to his end." His next Work 
in probability, was his Epiftles,-" which he alerts as his own 
invention and therefore juftly glories in them. The wit of 
them is fo copious, that ahnoft every two lines may feem an 
Epigram. Mr. Dryden obferves, that they are generally granted 
" to be the moft perfeft piece of Ovid ; and that the ftyle of them 
1 is tenderly paflionate and courtly, two properties well agnjc- 
" mg with the pcrfons who are Heroines and Lovers." Hi* 
next was his " Art of Love," in Three Books : concerning which 
it is hoped at prefent, chat though heretofore they fell under th 
difpleafure of Augullus ; . yet that now they are fo managed, as 

k The beft edition of them is byBurman, Leyden, 17x4, 4 Yols, 4 t. 



that they may venture within the verge of the court without finy 
forbiddance. About the fame time came forth his Two Books 
of the " Remedies of Love," and a fmall one of the " Improve.- 
" ment of the Face ;" and fome few fuch pieces as that upon the 
< Nut-tree," and perhaps fome others. I fuppofe thefe to have 
been all done before his travels into Greece and Egypt, in which 
he made collections out of multitudes of Authors (befides 
Parthenius of Chios, who treated on a like fubjeft) to compile 
lu's Fifteen Books of " Metamorphofes ;" than which all Authors 
agree that nothing can l>e more ingenious, nothing more excel- 
lent, artificial, or graceful, than the contexture of Fable with 
Fable, which, in fuch diverfity of matter, are fo cunningly 
woven together, that, all appear but one feries. Yet, as he was 
going into, baniihment, out of vexation at his own Poetry, which, 
was- alligned (though only colourably) to have been the cnule of 
it, he was re fo I veil to burn them. But there were too many 
copies got abroad ; and therefore he excufcs the faults that may 
te in them, as not having received his lad correction : and yet 
they are fome of the molt beautiful things that we have received! 
from the amients. As moft perfons that love Poetry fome time 
or another venture upon the Stage; fo Ovid Die wed what he 
could perform that way in a Tragedy called Medea ', which i-j 
now loft, but was then received with great applauie. Cornelius 
Tacitus thinks that neither Afinius nor Meilala, in anv of their 
compofitions, came up to the Medea of Ovid : and Quintilian 
fays, that by that Tragedy the Poet fliews how much he was 
iblc to do, when he would rather temper than indulge his wit. 
After his difmilfion from court, he had occafion to make ufc of a 
iMtirical ftyle, which he always before had induftrioufly avoided j 
but it was upon high provocation, and yet he docs it under tht 
concealed Name of Ibis. He is fuppofed to have written it in 
full paflion, either in his voyage, or as foon as he came to the 
Euxine fhoie, againft a peifoh that took occafion from his mif- 
fortunes to fcandalize and reproach him ; to make his wife un- 
eafy ; to endeavour to reduce him to the utmoft poverty by de- 
priving him of his ettate, which Auguftus had entirely left him ; 
for which clemency, in many excellent Verfes, the Poet is not 
ungrateful. He profdTes to lisve imitated'Callimachus, Who falls 

i "Medea," by Mr. Glover, the author fif Leonid**," is pethap* 
tkc .moii daflical trag?<!y in the English language, 


A R T O F L Q V E. IT; 

Tipdn Apollonius Rhodius in a Poem under the fame title. There 
can nothing include more of the antient Fable and Hiftory than 
this fmall Work ; efpecially of fuch as have come to any fatal 
mifchances. To alleviate his misfortunes, he wrote his Five 
Books " De Triftibus," which are a fort of Epiftles ; but to per- 
fons he thought, for fome reafons, it would then be improper to 
name. As likewifc his Four Books of *' Letters from Pontus," 
addreffed to perfons of the higheft quality, as beforementioned, 
from whom he expefted at leaft fome hopes of the relaxation of 
his punifliment. In all thefe, the ferenity of his mind, the juft- 
nel's or" the thought, the clearncfs and propriety of the expreffio^, 
the evennefs of the numbers, the tender moving of compaffion, 
intermixed with various topicks of perfuafive eloquence, hare 
made Bailor! affirm, t'.iat O*id lias made his very grief delight- 
ful ; and that, whether he was upon the banks of Tiber, or upon 
thole of the Danube, yet he ftill feemed to be in the midft of 
Helicon k , It was here that Ovid compofed his Twelve Books of 
the Fafti ; which is as much as to fay, he put the Roman Al- 
nanack and Calendar into verfe : a bold undertaking ; and yet, in 
the Six Books ' that remain, there is not only the raoft exaft 
dcfcription of the Roman Ceremonies, Cuftoms, and Antiqui- 
ties ; but, in fo obfcure, barren, antl dry a fubjeV, he has pro- 
ceeded with all the perfpicuity, cepioufnefs, fplendicl ornaments, 
and beautiful defcriptions, that can be imagined : infomuch that 
Hemiius thinks nothing can be more eafy, plain, and natural, 
than the ftory of Lucrece, where the impatience of young Tarquin, 
and his companions, and the fpeed of their liorfes in carrying 
them to Rome, does not come up to that quicknefs of" thought 

* Mr. Cowley remarks, that, t>y tlie ftyle of Ovid's Epiftles ex Panto 
and his deTnftl'us, very unlike that of his Metamorphofes, one may fee 
the humble and dejeded fpirit in which he wrote. The cold of the 
country, and his own defyiir, had benumbed his faculties. 

^ Many of the Learned fuppofe that no more than Six Books were ever 
written. In the fecond took de Triftibus, ver. 548, Ovid bys, 
" Sex ego Faflorum fcripfi, totidemque libellos, 
" Cumque fua fin^ en mcnf: volumen habet." 
It is matter of doubt whether he mnnsjix, or tivlcejlx, 

m Selden calls Ovid " a great canon lawyer," merely from thefe book, 
as giving us tUe bcfl account of ;he religion and feftivals of th< ol<J 

I 3 which 


which Ovid mews in his comprehenfive verfes. In this retire- 
ment, Ovid likewife began his " Halieuuca," or Book of Fifties ; 
for it is a queltion whether lie ever fmiflied it : but by that which 
remains it appears to have been an excellent and moft ufeful 
Hiftory of Nature ; wherein he defcribed many forts that were in 
that fca, with their wonderful qualities, wlvfe very names had 
before been unknown to Pliny, that moft induftrious Naturalilt 
among the Romans. This fubject Oppian afterward puriued in 
Greek verfe, and dedicated to the Emperor Antoninus. Ovid 
tells us of another Work that he compofed in Pontus, which was 
*' The Triumph of Germanicus," which, in his Epittles from 
thence to Salanus and Rufinus, he recommends to their protection. 
But this is loft, as were feveral others : ainongft which may be 
reckoned his Confolation to Livia upon the Death of Drufus, 
from whence Seneca has made uie of many things in his Confo- 
lations ; his Epigrams, mentioned by Prilcian and Martial j his 
Book " De Phxnomenis," fpoken of by Probus and Latan- 
tius ; his Book againft Poetalters, quoted by Quihtilian ; a Col- 
leftion of Prophecies, and Two Books of the War of Aclium, 
dedicated to Tiberius Ca;far, but not completed. At his depar- 
ture from Rome, he threw many things into the fire ; which he 
believed afterwards might have given fatisfaftion to the Reader, 
jf they had not met with fuch an irreprievable condemnation. 
There are feveral other things attributed to him ; as, the Pane- 
gyrick to Pifo, the Nightingale, the Flea, and a Poem about an 
Old Woman, in Three Books, which, being very filly, is very 
fcarce ; but Crifpinus tells us, the foolifh Author would impole 
it upon the world as if it were as true as Gofpel. In all his 
Works, Ovid's wit is acknwledged to be luxuriant, which his 
riper age would have corrected in his " Metamorphofes :" but he 
fhews how difficult it would have been to him by the Letters 
which he continued to write in his exile with the utmoir, exu- 
terance of thought and expreilion. Scaliger and Mr. Dryden 
differ upon the point, whether Ovid knew how to leave oft when 
he had well begun ; but then Mr. Dryden dcfcribes him as " vary- 
" ing the fame fenfe a hundred ways, and yet that the moft fevere 
' cenfor cannot but be pleafed with the prodigality of his wit ' 
" that every thing which he does becomes him j and if fome- 
4 * times he appears too gay, yet there is a fecret gracefulnefs of 
" youth which accompanies his writings." In Ovid's ftyle h a 

A R T O P L O V E. n, 

native fimplicity, which whoever goes about to mend, will find 
he corrupts it. He fays more by Nature than Art can come up 
to. What he ^loss, feems to be produced without pain j but it 
would be in vain for the greateft labour to attempt it. Scaliger 
takes notice, that ufmg the fame word or expreffion too often is a 
fault of fome Authors that pretend to be correct } but that the 
Princes of the ?oets, Virgil and Ovid, are free from the fufpicion 
of it. The observation is juft ; and yet Ovid mews how great a 
Mailer he was of words, by his repeating them even to advan- 
tage, as in thofe moft fweet Verfes of Phillis to Demophoon : 

Credidimus blandis, quorum tibi copia, verbis ; 

Credidimus generi, nominibttfque tuis. 
Credidimus lacrymis ; an et bafimulare docentur ? 

tla quoque babent artes, qudque jubenlur, cunt. 
Diis quoque credidimus : quo jam tot pignora nobis ? 

Partefath potiti qualibet inde cafi. 

Which, amongft the moft ingenious Verfions of the Epiftles, J 
find thus translated by Mr. Edward Pooley : 

" 1 foolimly believ'd the oaths you fwore, 

" The race you boaftcd, and the Gods you bore, 

" Who could hav thought fuch gentle words e'er hung 

" Upon a treacherous and deluding tongue ? 

" I faw you: tears, and 1 believ'd them all : 

" Can they lye too, and are they taught to faU ? 

" What needed all that numerous perjury ? 

" One was enough to one that lov'd like me." 

Some have thought he had too much compaflion for his own fail- 
ings, and that he rather loved than would any ways correct them. 
Seneca tells us, that, being defired by his Friends to leave out of 
his Works only three Verfes, he complied, on condition that he 
might fave three. Both parties wrote, and put the lines into the 
Arbitrator's hands, which, being produced, proved to be the 
fame. Two of them are recorded by Pedo Albinovanus the Poet, 
and his great Friend, who was there prefent ; which were thefe : 

Setnibovetnque r virum 1 femi-vir unique botiem. 

Sed gelidum Borean, egelidumque Not urn. 

? in the " Tranflation by feveral Hands," publiflicd by Tonfon. 

i 4 Whejeby 


Whereby it appears that his admirable wit did not Avap.t an an- 
fu'erable judgement in fuppreffihg the liberties of his Verfc, if' tie 
Lad not affefted it. : and lie was ufcd to fay, that a mole did not 
ini-fbecome a good face, but ' made it more lovely. However, 
Ovid has had the greateft character among the Learned in all 
ages : for, liefides the many great names beforementioned, Vel- 
leius Paterculus, a curious judge, ioins him with Tibullus, as 
the two perfons that had brought their Poems to perfection. By 
Martial and others he is placed with Virgil, as being both con- 
fummate in their way. The Fathers Laftantius, St. Jcrom, and 
t Auftin, have not denied his " Metamorphofis" its juft com- 
jnendation. Planudes translated it into Greek, to reftore that 
Learning, part of which had been brought from thence back 
again to his pwn country. Stephens moft jutlly efteems him thd 
bed Painter amongfl the Poets. Heinfius thought, that whoever 
would be drawn to the life mnft fit to him. And Raphael Regius 
fays, that his commanders, their ftratagems, and their battles, *rc 
fo rouch.ed by his pencil, that whoever views them attentively 
will imagine himfelf fo engaged, as to take part in their conflicts. 
And then no Poet has more naturally described the manners of the 
perfons he mentions, nor is more fententious, nor better expati- 

9 A monk of Conft-antinople; who lived at the end of the third 
f.a<\ the beginning of the fourth century, and fuf&red fome perfecution 
on account of his zeal for the Latin church. Th -t idiot of a Monk" 
i'f*ys Dr. Bentley, Dili", on ^Efop, p. 147) " has given us a Book, which 
I' he cglls '7ii Lift of /Efy, that perhaps cannot be matched in any lan- 
" guage for ignorance and nonfenfe, T5ut of all h'.s injuries to JE fop, th^t 
" which can Icaft be forgiven him is the making fuch a monfler of him 
* : for ug!;nefs; an abufe, that has found credit fo univerfally, that all 
" the modern Painters iince the time of Pl.tnudes have drawn him 
" m t!ie worft fhspes and features that fancy could invent. I wifh J 
" coulcf dp that ju/iire to the memory of the Phrygian, to, oblige thp 
*' Piinte-is to change their pencil": for it is certain, he was no deformed 
" f.trfen, and it is probable he was very handfome." In this particular. 
th? 1-abulift' has had the fate of our Engii/h Richard II-Ij who, whac- 
ever other epithets he deferred, had no r ght to that of CROOKB ACK F.B. 
One of the arguments, however, by which D;'. B;-ntley has vindicated 
the bejuty of JLtop, is " bccaufe his fellow flave was fair beyond ex- 
' ce'ptjon;" a topic, which (it has been pleafantly obferved) may be of ufe to all public focietief, tecaufe it makes all the rncmbers'of them 
? :ilfe .wife and pretty. See " A fl-.ort Aq ounrcf Dr. E:ml.>'s Humanity, 
?< jjfc.*; p- 94- And fee bov?, p. fi. 


ates upon the common-places of morality ; as temperance, friend- 
fliip, love of his country, labour, valour, learning, honefty, con- 
tcmpt of wealth, decay of outward beauty, and hopes of a laftine 
refutation raifccl by virtue. It may from this fmall remark be 
fecn what opinion the world had of this Author, and how ac- 
ceptable he was to them, when the fame Regius, who wrote th* 
Comment on the Mctamorphofis," rented fifty thoufand 
of them in his life-time. His perfon was in fo great favour in hjs 
profperity, that his pifture was cut in precious ftones, and worn 
by them in their rings. He mentions one of them with a crown 
of ivy on his head, which, in one of his melancholy Letters he 
fays was no longer a fitting ornament for him j and he fpcaks of 
another let in a ring of gold. Our ingenious countryman Mr 
Sandyi P tells us, he had fecn his figure in a cornelian of exquifite 
\vorkmanfliip, and an old medal of iilver ftamped with his imaee - 
and thofc he ha.s placed before his Tranflation of die Metamor' 
phofis. Hercules Ciofani q gives it us as delineated from an 
antient marble found at Sulmo, anJ given him by his Friend 
Julius Agapetus. Urfinus has a head of him in his collections, 
There arc k-veral others ; one from' an antient medal in the 
Dutch edkion ; another in the Dauphin's : but the mod excel 
lent, and that feems to approach ncarcft to the chafer of the 
original, is that rcpreCented by Peter Bcllori, Library- keeper and 
Antiquary to the Queen of Sweden, among his images of antient 
Philofophers, Poets, and Orators, .fet out in the vcar 1685- the 
"fteem which his mod learned Excellency Spanhemius has fhcwa 
P George Sandys, fon of Edwin archbilhop of York, born about ic 7 8 
publ.Aed Ovid's Metamorpho/i,, englifhed, mythologi.ed, III % 
fented , figure,, Oxford, ,632," folio. Frands Cleyn vva, th e >V 
ventor of the figures, and Solomon the engraver. He h a d befor* 
fted part of this tranflationj and in th= preface to thisfecond C dition 
be tells , that he has attempted to colic* out of fund* author, th, 
ph,lofoph,eal fenfe of the fables of Ovid. Mr. Drvdcn pronounced hi* 
the beft vcrfifier of the lart age. He w * alfo n excelj.nt geograjhtr 
and crmc ; and publiAed in ,6,5 his travels to Turkey, &c . Heli 5 
the rnvy-chamber to Charles I j and died in March 1643-4. From the 
Pvof Sandys, and the Homer of Otflby, Mr. Fo fe fixfttook his f 



for it in Ins Diflertations r will make others regard it. Tlte 
medial is of brafs, with Ovid's Head on one fide, and on the Re- 
mnrfe the Head of Menander Parrhafius, who caufed this Monu- 
ment to be made for poftciiojf. Nicolaus Heinfius, in his laft 
Edikkra of Ovid, prefixed this head to it, as he received it from 
doe exquifite treafurc of Mcdah collected by Felicia Rondanina, 
a. nsoffc noble and learned Roman Matron. And the generofity 
aacl good-nature of Sir Andrew Fountain, in communicating it 
oat cf his great flock of learned curiofities, is gratefully to be 
acknowledged *. 

There has been in this Preface fo much faid of Ovid, that 
tfceve may be lefi room to (peak of the following imitation. It is 
ai kalt fuch a one as Mr. Dryden mentions, " to be an endea- 
** vcur of a later Poet to write like one who has written before 
* fcitm on the fame fubjcct ; that is, not to translate his words, or 
** lie confined to his leiife, but only to fet him as a pattern, and 
** to write as he fuppofes that Author would have done, had 
" lie lived in our age and in our country. But he dares not fay 
" trut Sir John Denham r, or Mr. Cowley, have carried this Liber- 
" sine way, as the latter calls it, fo far as this definition reaches." 
Bfflt, alas. I the prefent Imitator has come up to it, if not perhaps 
exceeded it. Sir John Donhaai had Virgil, and Mr. Cowley 
EJ Pindar to deal with, who both wrote upon lafting founda- 
tions : but, the prefent fubjeV. being Love, it would be unrea- 
fonahle to thh.k of too great a confinement to be laid on it. And 
dioagh the paflTon and grounds of it will continue the fame 
through alf ages ; yet there will be many little modes, fafhions, 
aodp-aces-, ways of complaifance and addrcfs, entertainments and 
divcrfions, which time will vary. Since the world will exped 
new things, and perfons will write, and the Antients have fo great 

r De praffiantia 3c ufu numifmatum antiquorum, Romse, 1664, 4to. 
This learned writer and able ftatefman, after having been employed in 
embafSes at mcft of the courts in Europe, died at London, OS. 28, 
1710, aged 8 1. 

Dr. King alludes to a Frontifpiece prefixed to his firft edition. 

t Sir John Denham was born at Dublin in 16 5 ; and died March 19, 
1668. His" Poems and Tranflations" hav* been frequently printed in 
one Tolume. That which Mr. Dryden fpeaks of is called " The DCT 
flmclion of Troy, &c." 

See note on vcr. 1040, 

a fund 

A R T O F L O V E. n 3 

a fund of Learning ; whom can the Moderns take better to copy 
than fuch originals ? It is moft likely they may not come up to 
them j but it is a thoufand to one but their imitation is better 
than anyclumfy invention of their own. Whoever undertakes 
this way of writing, has as much reaibn to underftand the true 
fcope, genius, and force of the expreflions of his Author, as a 
literal TranAator : and after all, he lies under this misfortune, 
that the faults are all his own ; and if there is any thing that 
may feem pardonable, the Latin w at the bottom (hews to whom 
he is engaged for it.- An Imitator and his Author (land much, ' 
upon the fame terms as Ben does with his Father in the Comedy * : 
" What thof he 1* my Father, I an't bound Prentice to 'en-" 
There were many reafons why the Imitator tranfpofed feveral 
Verfes of Ovid, and lias divided the whole into Fourteen Parts 
rather than keep it in Three Books. Thcfe may be too tedious 
to be recited ; but, among the reft, fome were, that matters of 
the .fame fubjeft might lie more compact ; that too large a heap 
of precepts together might appear too burthenfome j and there- 
fore (if final! matters may allude to greater) as Virgil in his 
*' Georgicks," fo here moft of the parts end with fome remark- 
able Fable, which carries with it fome Moral : yet, if any perfons 
pleafe to take the Six firft Parts as the Firft Book, and divide the 
Eight laft, they may make Three Books of them again. There 
have by chance fome twenty lines crept into the Poem out of the 
" Remedy of Love," which (as inanimate things are generally the 
moft wayward and provoking) fince they would ftay, have been 
fuftered to ftand there. But as for the Love here mentioned, it 
being all prudent, honourable, and virtuous, there is no need of 
any remedy to be prescribed for it, but the fpeedy obtaining of 
what it defires. Should the Imitator's ftyle feem not to be fuf- 
ficiently reftrained, mould he not have afforded pains for review 
- or correction, let it be confulered, that perhaps even in that he 
defired to imitate his Author, and would not perufe them ; left, 
as fome of Ovid's Works were, fo thefe might be committed to 
the flames. But he leaves that for the Reader to do, if he pleafes, 
when he has bought them. 

w In the firft editions of the " Art of Cookery" and of the Art of 
" Love," Dr. King printed the original under the rcfpedlive pages of hit 

< Congrcve's Love for Love. 





"TTTHOE VEU knows not what it is TO LOVE, 

V V 'Ltt him but read thefe verfes, and improve. 
Swift fliip are rul'd by art, and oars, and fails : 
Skill guides our chariots, Wit o'er Love prevails. 
JVwtomcdon with reins let loofe could fly, 
Tiphys with Argo's fhip cut \Vaves and fky. 
In Love-affairs I'm charioteer of Truth, 
And fureft pilot to incautious youth. 
Love 's hot, unruly, eager t'o enjoy ;. 
But then confidcr he is but a boy. 
Chiron with pleating harp Achilles tam'd, 
And his rough manners with foft mufick fram'd : 
Tho' he'd in council florin, in battle rage, 
He bore a fecret reverence for age. 
Chiron's command with ftricl. obedience ties 
The fincwy arm by which brave Hector dies. 
That was his tafk, but fiercer Love is mine : 
They both are boys, and fprung from race divine. 
The ftiff-neckVi bull docs to the yoke fubmir, 
And rbe moft fiery courier champs the bitt : 
i\o Love fnall yield. I own, I've been his flave, 
.But cor.quei'M where my enemy was brave t 
/Vnd no\v Le c;arts his flames without a wound, 
And all his whifUir.g arrows die in found. 
N 7 or will I raife ray fame by hidden art, . 

In what I teach found reafcn Ihall haye part : 
For Nature's pri/fion cannot be cleftroy'cl, 
Bxit moves in Virtue's path when well emplov'd. 

P A R T T H F I R 5 T. it$ 

Vet dill 'twill be convenient to remove 

The tyranny and plagues of vulgar love. jjy 

May infant chaftity, grave mations' pride, 

A parent's wifh, and blufhes of a bride, 

Protect this Work ; fo guard it, that no rhyme 

In fyllable or thought may vent a crime ' 

The Soldier that Love's armour would defy ?< 

Will find his greateft courage is to fly : 

\\ r hen Beauty's amorous glances parky beat, 

The only concrueft then is 'to retreat : 

But, if the treacherous Fair pretend to yield, 

'Tii prcfent death unlefs you quit the field. $& 

Whilft youth and vanity, would make you range. 

Think on fome beauty may prevent your change; 

But fuch by falling flcies are never caught, 

No happinefs is found but what is fought 

The humfman learns where does trip o'er the laiivn,' ^ 

And where the foaming boar fccures his !>rawn. 

The fowler's low-bell robs tlte lark of ilecp, 

And they who hope for fifli muft fcarch die deep;* 

And IK chat fuel leeks for chaite defire 

Muft fearch where Virtue may that flame infpirea ; 

To foreign parts there is no need to roam-: 

The blelling may be met with nearer home. 

From India fome, others from neighbouring Francej; 

Bring tawny fluns, and puppets that can dante. 

The Sent of Britim Empire docs contain ; mi : 

Beauties that o'er -the conqucr'd globe will reign, i 

Ai fruitful fields with plenty blcfs die fight, 

And as the milky way adorns the night, jj n}t; 

So tat does with thofi, graceful nymphs abound, 

\Vliviie dove-like fofrnefi, is with roics crown'U. , b+t- 

Tl'.;v- tcndcreil blooms inviting fofmefs fpre.uf, 

Wliilil by their i'mallcft twine the captive's kdr 

There youth advanc'd in majefty docs fliine, 

Fit to be mother to a race divinu. v j t-.-ji 

No age in matrons, no decay appears ; *s.. 

By prudence only there you guefe nt yeafs. 

Sometimes you'll lee tbcfc Beauties fcuk th? ftwce 
By lofty, trees In royal gardens made- ; 



Or at St. James's, where a noble care 

Makes all things pleafing like himfelf appear 5 7* 

Or Kenfington, fweet air and bleft retreat 

Of him, that owns a Sovereign, though moft great V. 

Sometimes in wilder groves by chariots drawn 
They view the noble flag and tripping fawn. 
On Hyde-Park's circles if you chance to gaze, 75 

The lights revolving ftrike you with amaze. 

To Bath and Tunbridge they fometimes retreat, 
\V ith waters to difpel the parching heat ; 
But youth with reafon there may oft admire 
That which may raife in him a nobler fire ; So 

Till the kind Fair relieves what he endures, 
Caus'd at that water which all others cures. 

Sometimes at marriage rites you may efpy 
Their charms protected by a mother's eye, 
Where to bleft mufick they in dances move, 85 

With innocence and grace commanding love. 
But yearly when that folemn night returns, 
When grateful incenfe on the altar burns, 
For clofing the moft glorious day e'er feen, 

That firft gave light to happy Britain's Queen ; 90 

Then is the time for noble youth to try 
To make his choice with a judicious eye. 
Not truth of foreign realms, not fables told 
Of Nymphs ador'd, and Goddefles of old, 

Equal thofe beauties who that circle frame ; 9 c 

A fubjeft fit for never-dying fame : 
Whofe gold, pearl, diamonds, all around them thrown, 
Yet ftill can add no luftre to their own. 

But when their O^ieen does to the Senate go, 
And they make up the grandeur of the fhow j LO 

y George Prince of Denmark, confort to the Queen, greatly admired 
thefe fine gardens. They were purchafed by King William from Lord 
Chancellor Finch ; were enlarged by Queen Mary j and improved by 
Queen Anne, who was fo pleafcd with the place, that fhe frequently Cupped 
during the fummer in the Green- koufe, which is very beautiful. Queen 
Caroline extended the gardens to their prefent fize, three miles and a half 
in compafs. 

P A R T T II E F I R S T. 

Then guard your hearts, ye makers of our laws, 
For fear the judge be forc'd to plead his caufe ; 
Left the fubtmflive part fhould fall to you, 
And they who fuppliants help be forc'd to fue. 
Then may their yielding hearts companion take, 
And grant your vvifhes for your country's fake. 
Eafe to fcheir beauties wounds may goodnefs give j 
And fince you make all happy, let you live. 

Sometimes thefe Beauties on New-market plains, 
Ruling their gentle pads with filken reins, 
Behold the conflicts of the generous fteeds, 
Sprung from trnc blood, and well-attefted breeds. 
There youth may juftly with difcerning eye 
Through riding Amazonian habit fpy 
That which his fwifteft courfer cannot fly. l 

It is no treacherous or bafe piece of art, 
T'approve the fide with which the Fair takes part: 
For equal paiTion equal minds will flrike, 
Either in commendation or diflike. 

For, when two fencers ready ftand to fighr, iz 

And we're fpe&ators of the bloody fight, 
Our nimble paiTion Love has foon defign'd 
The man to whom we muft and will be kind. 
We think the other is not fie to win : 

This is our conqueror ere fight begin. 11 

If danger dares approach him, how we (tart ! 1 

Our frighted blood runs trembling to our heart.- > 

He takes the wounds, but we endure the fmait, J 

And Nature by fuch inftances does prove, 

That we fear moft for that which mod we love. jj 

Therefore, if chance fhould make her faddle Hide, 
Or any thing fhould flip, or be untied, 
Oh, think it not a too officious care 
With eagerncfs to run and help the fair. 

We offer fmall things to the powers above : 13 

*Tis not our merit that obtains their love. 
So when Eliza, whole propitious days 
Revolving Heaven does fccm again to raife ; 
Wbofe ruling genius fhew'd a mafter-fhoke 
In evety- thing fhe did, and all fhe /poke ; 14 

tit T H E A R T O F* L O V E. 

XVas ftepping o'er a paffage, which the rain 

Had fill'c), and fcem'd as ftepping back again j 

Young Raleigh fcorn'd to fee his Queen retreat, - 

And threw his velvet cloak beneath her feet. > 

The Queen approv'd the thought, and made him great z . 145 J 

Mark when the Queen her thanks divine would give 
Midft acclamations, that flic long may live; 
To whom kind Heaven the Welling has beftow'd, 
To let her arms fucceed for Europe's good. 

No tyranny throughout the triumph teigns, j ?a 

Kor arc the captives dragg'd with ponderous chains : 
But all declares the Brinfh fubjecV eafe, 
And that their war is for their neighbours' peace. 
Then, whilft the pomp of Majefty proceeds 

With (lately fteps, and eight well-chofen Heeds, 15? 

From every palace beauties may be feen, 
That will acknowledge none but Her for Queen. 
Then, if kind chance a lovely Maid has thrown 
Next to a Youth with graces like her own, 

Much fhe would learn, and many queftions afk : i&o 

The anfwers arc the Lover's plcaiing talk. 
" Is that the man who made the French to fly ? 
What place is Blenheim ? is the Danube nigh ? 
* Where was't that he with fworcl victorious ftood, 
** And made their trembling fquadrons chufe the flood ? jCj 

" What is \\\egold adorns this ftate ? 
" Is it not hammcr'd all from Vigo's plate ? 
" Don't it require a moft prodigious care 
" To manage treafu-rcs in the height of war ? 
" Miift he not be of calmeir, truth pollcft 17 

41 Prefules o'er councils of the Royal bread ? 
Sea-fights are furely difmal fcenes of war ! 
" Pray, Sir, were ever you at Gibraltar ? 

" Has not the Emperor got fome Envoy here ? -j 

Won't Danilh, SwedLfli, Pruflian Lords appear > 175 I 

XVho rcpvefents the Line of Hanover ? J 

^ * Sir Walter Raleigh is jvell known to have been indebted tg this 
!ile mark of gallantry for- his rife at court. See above, p. 03. 



" Don't The States General affift them ail ? 

" Should we not be in clanger, if they fall ? 

" If Savoy's Duke and Prince Eugene could meet 

" In tliis folemnity, 'twould be complete. 180 

" Think you that Barcelona could have ftood 

" Without the hazard of our noblefl blood ? 

" At Ramillies what enfigns did you get ? 

" Did many towns in Flanders then fubmit ^ . 

" Was it the Conqueror's bufinefs to deftroy, 115 

*' Or was he met by all of them with joy ? 

" Oh, could my wilh but fame eternal give, 

" The laurels on thofe brows fliould ever live !" 

The Britifli worth in nothing need defpair, 

When it has fuch afliftance from the Fair. 190, 

As Virtue merits, it expefts regard ; 
And Valour flies, where Beauty's the reward. 


IN Love affairs the Theatre has part, 
That wife and moft inftrufiling fcene of art, 

Where Vice is punifli'd with a juft reward, 195 

And Virtue meets with fuitable regard ; 
Where mutual Love and Friend (hip find return, 
But treacherous Infolence is hifs'd with fcorn, 
And Love's unlawful wiles in torment burn. 
This without bluflies whilft a virgin fees, ^ 

Upon fome brave fpectator Love may feize, \. 

Who, \i\\Jbe fends it, never can have eafe. J 

As things that were the beft at firft 
By their corruption grow the worft ; 

The modern Stage takes liberties aog 

Unfeen by our forefathers eyes. 
As bees from hive, from mole-hill ants j 
So fwarm the females and gallants, 
All crowding to the Comedy, 

For to be fecn, and not to fee. io 

VOL. III. K. But 


But, though thefe females are to blame, 
Yet ftill they have Tome native fhamc :- 
They all are filent till they're afk'd r 
' And ev'n their impudence is mafk'cl : 

For Mature would be modeft ftill, aitv 

And there's relutfancy in will. 

Sporting and Plays had harmlefs been,. 
And might by' any one be fcen, 
Till Romulus began to fpoil them, 

Who kept a Palace, call'cl A s Y L u M ; 3 - 

Where Baftar.ds, Pimps, and Thieves, and.Pandars, 
Were lifted all to be commanders. 
But then the rafcals were fo poor, 

* They could not change a Rogue for Whore ; 

And neighbouring Jades' refolv'd to tarry, 2e$ 

Rather than with fuch Scrubs they'd marry. 

But, for to cheat them, and be wiv'd, 

They knavifhly a farce cbntriv'd. 

No glided pillars there were feen, 

Nor was the cloth, they trod on green. 430. 

No Ghofts came' from the cellar crying, 

Nor Angels from the garret flying. 

The Houfe was made of flicks and buflies, 

And all the Floor was ftrew'd with rufhcs : 

The Seats were rfcis'd with turf and fods, 23$ 

Whence Heroes might be view'd and Gods. 
; Paris and Helen was the Play, 

And how both of them ran away. 

Romulus bad his varlets go 
f Invite the Sabines to his ihow. 240 

Unto this Opera no rate is ; 

They all were free to come in gratis : 

And they, as girls will feldom mifs 

A merry meeting, ; came to this. 

There was much wifhing, fighing, thinking, 245 
Not without whifpcnng and winking. 

Their pipes had then no (haking touch : 
Their fang and dance were like the Dutck :- 
The whole performance was by men, 

Becaufe they had no Eunuchs then^ 250 

m ' But 


But, whilft the mufick brifkly play'd, 1 

Romulus at his cuedifplay'cl f 

The fign for each man to his maid. 

" Huzza !" they cry; then feize : fome tremble 

In real faft, though moftdiiTeuible. 455 

Some are attempting an efcape, 

And others foftly cry, " A rape !" 

Whilft fome bawl out, " That they had rather 

" Than twenty pound lofe aa old father." 

Some look extremely pale, and others red, "I 

Some wifh they'd ne'er been born, or now were dead, f 

And others fairly wifh themfelves a-bed. * 

Some rant, tear, run ; whilft fome lit Mill, 
To fhew they're ravifli'cl much again ft their will. 

Thus Rome began ; and now at laft, 465 

After fo many ages paft, 

Their rapes and lewdnefs without fhame j 

Their vice and villany's the fame. 
Ill be their fate who would corrupt the Stage, 
And fpoil the true correftor of the age ! *7% 


NO W learn thofe arts which teach you to obtain 
Thofe beauties which you fee divinely reign. 

Though they by Nature are tranfcendent bright, 
And would be feen ev'n through the gloom of night ; 
Yet they their greateft luftre ftill difplay 175 

In the meridian pitch of calmeft day. 
'Tis then we purple view, and coftly gem, 
And with more admiration gaze on diem. 
Faults feek the dark ; they who by moon-light woo, 
May find their Fair-one as inconftant too. 289 

When Modefty fupported is by Truth, 
There is a boldnefs that becomes your youth. 
In gentle founds difclofe a Lover's care, 
'Tis better than your fishing and defpair, 


Birds ma}' abhor their groves, the flocks the plain,. 285 

The- Hare grown bold may face the Dogs again,- 

When Beauty don't in Virtue's anns rejoice,. 

Since Harmony HI Love is Nature's voice. 

Bat- harden'cl Impudence fometimes will try 

At things which Juftice cannot but deny. ~9 

Then, what that fays is Infolenee- and Pride,- 

Is Prudence with firm Honour for its guide.. 

The Lady's counfels often are betray'd 
By trufting fecrets to a fervilc Maid, 

The whole inwigues of whofe infidious brain. *$$ 

Are bafe, and only terminate in gain.- 
Let them take care of too diffiifive mirth ; 
Sufpicions thence,- and tshence attempts, take birth. 
Bad Ilium been with gravity employ 'd, 
By Sinon's craft it had not been deftroy'd. 
A vulgar air, mean fbngs, and free difcourfe^ 
With fly infmuations, may prove worfe- 
To fender Females than the Trojan Horfe. 

. Take care how you from Virtue ilray ;, 

S"ot Scandal follows the fame way, 

And more than Truth it will dovife 

Old Poets did delight in lies,. 

Which modern ones now call furprisu*. 

Some fay that Myrrha lov'd her Father, 

That Byblis lik'd her Brother rather. 310 

And in fuch tales old Greece did glory r 

Amongfl the which, pray take this Story. 
Crete was an Ifle, whofe fruitful nation* 

Swarm'd wkh an hundred corporations, 

And there upon Mount Ida flood 3 tj 

A venerable fpacious wood, 

Within whofe centre was a grove 

Immortaliz'd by birth of Jove : 

In vales below a Bull was fed, 

Whoto afl tke Kiire obey'd as heart* 320 

Betwixt his horns a tuft of black did grow, 
But all the reft of him was driven fnovv. 

(Our tale to truth does not confine us.) 

At tlie fame time one Juftice Minos, 



That liv'd hard by, was married lately ; 315 

.And, that his bride might mew more ftately, 
When through her pedigree he run, 
Found Ihe was daughter to the Sun. 
Her name Pafiphac was hight, 

And, as her Father, Ihe was bright. 33 

This Lady took up an odd fancy, 
That with this Bull me fain would dance ye. 
She'd mow him grafs, and cut down boughs, 
'On which his ftatelinefs might brow fe. 
Whilft thus Ihehetiges breaks and climbs, 3 JS 

Sure Minos mufl have happy times ! 
She never car'd for going fine, 
She'd rather trudge among the Kine 
Then at her Toilet fhe would fay, 

" Methir.ks 1 look bizarre to-day. 34 

u< Sure my glafs lies, TIT. not fo fair : 
*" Oh, were this face overgrown with'hair ! 
** I never was for top-knots born ; 
'* My favourites mould each be horn. 
'*' But now I'm liker to a Sow T 

" Than, what I wife to -be, a Cow Y 

" What would I give that 1 could lough ' 
'" My Bull-y cares for. none of thofs 
* That are afraid to fpoil their cloarhs : 

"" Did he but love me, he'd not fail 35* 

"*' To take me with my draggle-tail." 

Then tears would fall, and -then flie'd run, 
As would the De\il upon Dun. 
'When me fome -handibme Cow did fpy, 
She'd fcan her form with jealous eye. ?55 

Say, " How (he frifes it o"er the plain, 
" Rum on, and then turn* back again ! 
" She feems a Bear refolv'd to prance, 
" Or a She^afs that tries to dance. 

* In vain me thinks herfelf fo fine : j6 

*' She can't pleafe Bull-y ; for he's mine. 
** But 'tis revenge alone all'wages 
;<* My envy when the paflion rages. 

JL 3 "Here, 


" Here, Rafcal, quickly yoke that Cow, 

" And fee the fhrivel'd carrion plough. 365 

" But fecond counfel's beft : fhe dies : 

" I'll make immediate facrifice, i 

" And with the vi&im feaft my eyes.. J 

" 'Tis thus my Rivals I'll remove, 
" Who interpofe 'twixt me and what I love. ^ 37* 

" lo in Egypt 's worfhip'd now, 

" Since Jove transform'd her to a Cow. 

" 'Twas on a Bull Europa came 

" To that bleft land which bears her name. 

'' Who knows what Fate's ordain'd for me 

" The languifhing Pafiphae, 

" Had I a Bull as kind as Ihe !" 
When madnefs rages with unufual fire, 
*Tis not in Nature's power to quench defire ; 
Then Vice transforms man's reafon into beaft, 380 

And fo the monfter's made the Poet's jeft. 


LET Youth avoid the noxious heat of Wine : 
Bacchus to Cupid bears an ill defign. 
The grape, when fcatter'd on the wings of Love, 
So clogs the down, the feathers cannot move. 385 

The boy, who otherwife would fleeting ftray, 
Reels, rumbles, lies, and is enforc'd to flay. 
Then courage rifes, when the fpirit's fir'd, 
And rages to poffefs the tiling defir'd : 

Care vaniflies through the exalted .blood, 300 

And forrow palles in the purple flood j 
Laughter proceeds j nor can he want a foul, 
Whofe thoughts in fancied heaps of plenty roll. 
Uncommon freedom lets the lips impart 

Plain fimplc truth from a difiembJiug heart. $$$ 

Then to fome wanton paffion he muft run, 
Which his difcreeter hours would gladly fliun , 

.* Where 


Where he the time in thoughtlefs eafe may pafs, 
And write his billet-doux upon the glaft ; 

'^Vhilft finking eyes with languifhment.profcfs 40 

rollies his tongue refufes to confefs. 
Then his good-nature will take t'other fup, 
If ftie'il firft kifs, that he may kifs the cup. 
'Then fomething nice and coftly lie could eat, 
Suppofing ftill that fhe will carve the meat. 405 

But, if a Brother or a Hufband's by, 
Whom the ill-natur'd world may call a fpy, 
He thinks it not below him to pretend 
The open-heavtednefs .of a true friend ; 

'Gives him refpecl: furpaffing his degree : 410 

'f lie perfon that is meant by all hjle. 
'Tis thought the fafeft way to hide a paiTion, 
And therefore call'tl the friendfhip now in fafiilon. 
.By fccret figns and enigmatic ik-alth 

She is the toaft belongs to every health : '4*5 

' And all the Lover't bufinefs is to keep 
His thoughts from anger, his eyes from fleep, 
He'll laugh ye, dance ye, ftng ye, vault, look gay, 
And ruffle all the Ladies in his play. 

But ftill the Gentleman's extremely .fine, 420 

'There's nothing apifh in him but the wine. 
Many a mortal has been bin 

By marrying in a drunken fit. 

To lay this matter plain before ye, 

Pray hearken whflft I veil my ftqry. 4*5 

It happen'd about break of day 

GnolTis a girl had loft her way, 

And wander'd up and down ,the Strand, 

Whereabouts n6vy York Buildings {land : 

And half awake fhe roar'd as bad 430 

As if fhe 'really had been mad ; 

Unlac'd her bocidice, and her gown 

And petticoats hung dangling down : 

Her flioes were flipt, her ankles bare. 
And all around her flew her yellow hair. 435 

Oh, cruel Thefeiis f can "you go,- 

And leave your little Gnoflis fo ? 

K 4 You 


You in your fcull* did promife carriage, 

And gave me proofs of future marriage { 

But then laft night away did creep, 44* 

And bafely left me faft afleep. 

Then fhe is falling in a fit j 

But don't grow uglier one bit. 

The flood of tears rather fuppltes 

The native rheum about her eyes. 445 

The bubbies then are beat again : 

Women in paffion feel no pain. 

What will become of me ? oh, what 

Will come of me ? oh, tell me that ! 

Bacco was Drawer at the Sun, 45 

And had his belly like his tun : 
For blubber lips and cheeks all bloated, 
And frizzled pate, the youth was noted. 
He, as his cuftom was, got drunk, 

And then went ftroling for a punk. 455 

Six links and lantherns, 'caufe 'twas dark yet, 
He prefs'd from Covent-Garden Market : 
Then his next captives were the Waits, 
Who play'd left he Ihould break their pates. 
But, as along in ftate he pafles, 46* 

He met a fellow driving afles : 
For there are feveral folks, whofe trade it 
To milk them for confumptive ladies. 
Nothing would ferve but get aftride, 

And the old Bell-man too muft ride. 465 

What with their houting (houting yell, 
The fcene had ibmething in't of hell. 
And who fliould all this rabble meet, 
But GnolTy drabbling in the ftreet ? 

The fright deftroy'd her fpeech and colour, 47* 

And all remembrance of her fculler. 
Her conduct thrice bad her be flying t 
Her fears thrice hjnder'd her from trying. 
|/i ke bullrufhes on fide of brook, 
Or afpin leaves, her joints a]l fliook, 475 ' 



Bacco cry'd out, " I'm come, my dear, 

' I'll foon difperfe all thoughts of fear: 

*' Nothing but joys fhall revel here." 

Then, hugging her in brawny arm, 

Protefted, " She mould have no harm : 480 

" But rather would allure her, he _ 

" Rejoic'd in opportunity I 

" Of meeting fuch a one as fhe : 

" And that, encircled all around 

" With glafs and candles many a pound, 485 

" She mould with bells command the bar, 

" And call her rooms Sun, Moon, and Star t 

" That the good company were met, 

" And mould not want a wedding treat." 

In (hort, they married, and both made je, 49* 

He a free Landlord, (he a kind Landlady. 

The Spartan Lords their Villains would invite 
To an excefs of drink in childrens fight. 
The parent thus their innocence would fave, 
And to the load of Wine condemn the flave. 495 

PART v. 

THE feafon muft be mark'd for nice addrefs : 
A grant ill-tira'd will make the favour lefs., 
Not the wife Gardener more discretion needs 
To manage tender plants and hopeful feeds, 
To know when rain, when warmth, muft guard his flowers, 500 
Than Lovers do to watdh their moft aufpicious hours. 
As the judicious pilot views from far 
The influences of each rifing ftar, 
Where figns of future calms or ftorras appear, 
When fitting to be bold, and when to fear ; 5*5 

So Love's attendant by long art defcries 
The rife of growing paflion from the eyes. 
Love has its FeiUval as well as Fart, 
Nor does its Carnival for ever Lift. 



What was a vifit, now is to intrude ; jt 

What's civil now, to-morrow will be rude. 

Small figns denote great .things : the happy man 

That can retrieve a Glove, or falling Fan, 

With grateful joy the benefit receives, 

Whiifl with defponding ca.e his Rival grieves. 51$ 

Whene'er it may teem proper you fliould vvrke, 
l^et Ovid the prevailing words eiulite : 
By Scrope a , by Duke b , by Mulgrave c , then lie taught, 
?4nd Dryden's d eojual numbers tune your thought, 


a Sir Car Scjope, one of thofe writers in the reign of King^ Charles 
the Second, that Mr. Pope calls 

" The Mob f Gentlemen who write with cafe " 

He was created a Baronet, January 16, 1606. The greater part of his 
writings confift of Tranflations from Ovid, Virgil, and Horace, with fom 
Love Songs and Lampoons. They are to be found in the volumes' of 
Dryden's Mifcellanies. He died fome time in the year i {/So. 

b A writer of the fame clafs, and with about the fame decree of mer't, 
as Sir Car Scrope. fie appears to have been of Cambridge, and a 
friend to Mr, Otway, who has addreijed a Poetical I'p-.frlc to him. His 
Works are alfo printed in Dryden's Mifcellanies. " Dr. J>.;ke (fays Swift) 
" died fu Idenly two or tferee, weeks ago : he was one of the Witt when we 
" were children ; buc turned parfon, an<l Itft it, and never wrote further 
" than a prologue or recommendatory copy of vcrfes. He had a fine li- 
" v ' n g given him by the biffiop of Winchefter about three months ago; 
" he got his living fuddenly, and he got his dying fo too." Journal to 
Stella, Feb. 14, 1710-11. It appears by Le Neve tLut Dr. Duke was a 
.prebendary of Gloucester. 

c John Sheffield, earl of Mulgrave, born about 1650, fucceeded his 
father in that title in 165!?. Us was a man of uncommon wit and fpirir, 
and of no Jtfs. gallantry and politensfs. He cultivated an early acquaint- 
ance with Dryden and ether men of genius j to whom he was indebted 
for a much greater (hare of his reputation than was derived from his per- 
fonal merit. He diftingmfhed himfelf early as a naval commander ; lived 
in great familiarity wiihthe duke of Y.ork ; aad ferved him \vrli the fin- 
cerelt attachment after he attended the throne. He was innalltd knight 
<nf the Garter, May 29, 1674; made a gentkrjian of the bedchamber, co- 
Jonel of the old Holland regiment, governor of Hull, and commandta- cf 
the forces fent agaiuft Tangier ; lord chamberlain of the houfehoid, Oct. 
ao, 1655; creafed marquis of Normanly, May 10, 1^94; on the .ac- 
cnT'on of queen Anne, lord privy feal ; duke of Buckingham and Nor- 
B.wjr.y, March 13, 1702 j lord' fteward of the houfsLold, Sept. 1710; 



SubmiiTive voice and words do bcft agree 520 

To their hard fortune who muft fuppliants he. 
It was bv fpeech like this great Priam won 
Achilles' foul, and fo obtajn'd his fon. 

HOPE is an ufeful Goddefs in your cafe, 

And will increafc your fpeed in Cupid's race. 515 

Though in its promifes it fail fometimes, 
Yet with frefli refolution ftill it climbs. 
Though much is loft at play ; yet HOPE at laft 
Drives on, and meets with fome fuccefsful caft 
Why then make hafte ; on paper ting'd with gold 539 

By quill of dove, thy love-fick tale unfold. 
Move fprightly, knowing 'tis for life you pufh : 
Your Letter will not, though yourtelf might blufli. 
'Tis no ignoble maxim 1 would teach 

The Britifh Youth to ftudy rules of fpeech. 555 

That governs cities, that enacts our laws, 
Gives fecret ftrength to juftice in a caufe. 
To that the crowd, the judge, the fenate, yield: 
'Gainft that ev'n Beauty can't maintain the field. 
Conceal your art, and let your words appear j^jo 

Common, not vulgar ; not too plain, tho' clear. 
Shew not your eloquence at the rlrft fight; 
But from your fhade rife by degrees of light. 
Drefs thoughts as if Love's filence firlr. were broke, 
And wounded heart with trembling palTion fpoke. 54-5 

prefiHent of the council, June 12, 1711. He died Feb. 24, 1720-21. 
His writings were fplendidly printed in z volumes, 4to In 1723 ; and again 
(but much caftrated) in % vols. 8vo, 1729. His poetry, though commended 
by Rofcommon, Dryden, Lanfdown, Prior, Garth, and Po|'e, has incurred 
the cenfure of Warton and of Walpole. The duke's only fon (by his 
4hird wife Catharine daughter to the countefs of Dorchefter) dying at 
Rome, 1735, juft when he had entered his twentieth year, left the famly 
eftate to be inherited by natural children, of which the duke had levcral. 
d See above, p. 62. This truly great poet, 

" Dryden, the great high piiefl. of all the Nine," 

after having lived in exigencies, had a magnificent funeral bflowed on 
him by the contribution of feveral perfons of quality. His Preface], Dr. 
wift fays, vol. VII. p. 64. have been of great ufe to modern Cruicks 

" Though merely writ atfirft for filling 

" To raife the volume's price a fliitling." 



Suppofe that } r our firft Letter is fent back ; 
Yet fhe may yield upon 'the next attack. 
If not j by art a Diamond rough in hue 
Shall brighten up all-glorious to the view. 
Soft water-drops the marble will d-eftroy, 
And ten years fiege prove conqueror of Troy. 

Suppofe fh.' has read, but then no anfwer gave T 
It is fufficient fhe admits her flave. 
Write on ; for time the freedom may obtain 
Of having mutual love fent back again. f 

Perhaps fhe writes, but 'tis to bid you ceafe, 
And that your lines but difcompofe her peace. 
This is a ftratagem of Cupid's war - 
She'd, like a Parthian, wound you from afar, 
And by this art your conftancy would try : 
She's neareft much when feeming thus to fly. 
Purfue the fair difdain through every place 
That with her pretence fhe vouchsafes to grace. 
If to the Play fhe goes, be there, and fee 
How Love rewarded makes the Comedy. 
Fly to the Park, if thither flie'd retire j 
Perhaps feme gentle breeze may fan the fire, 
But if to Court, then follow, where you'll find 
Majeftic Truth with facred Hymen join'cl. 

It is in vaki forme -fludy to profefs 
Their inclination by too nice a drefs, 
As not content with manly cleanlinefs. 
Mien, fhape, or manner, no addition needs ? 
There's fomething carelefs that all art exceeds. 
Adonis from his lonely folitudes, 
Rough Thefeus landing from the briny floods, 
Hippolytus frefh hunting from tlie woods, 
O'er Heroines of race divine prevail'd, 
Where powder'cl wig and fnuff-box might have fail'd. 

No youth that's wife will to his figure truft. 
As if fo fine to be accofted firft. 
Diftrefs muft afk, and gratefully receive t 
'Tis Heaven and Beauty's honour, they can give. 
There's fome have thought that looking pale and wan, 
With a fubmiflion that is kfs than man, 


gain their end ; but funk in the attempt, 
And found, that which they merited, contempt. 
Gain but admittance, half your ftory's told : 
There's nothing then remains but to be bold. 
Venus and Fortune will afGlt your claim, 590 

And Cupid dart the breaft at which you aim. 
No need of ftudied fpeech, or ikilful rules : 
-Love has an eloquence beyond the fchools j 
Where fofteft words and accents will be found 
All flowing in to form the charming found. 595 

Of her you love bright images you'll raife t 
When juft, they are not flattery, but praife. 
What can be faid too much of what is good, 
Since an immortal fame is Virtue's food ? 

For nine years fpace Egypt had fruitlefs^ flood,. 600 

Without the aid of Nile's prolific flood, 
When Thrafius faid, " That bleifing to regain, 
** The Gods require a ftranger fhoukl be flain." 
" Be thou the man," (the fierce Bufuis cries : ) > 

"I'll make th'advifer his own facrifice ; C 

*' Nor can he blame the voice by which- he dies." j 

Perillus, firft and laft of's trade, 
For Phalaris a Bull had made : 
With fire beneath, and water hot, 

He put the brafier in the pot, (to 

And gave him, like an honeft fellow, 
Precedence in his Bull to bellow. 
The Tyrants both did right : No law more juft 
Than, " He that thinks of ill, fhould feel it firft." 
Curft be their arts, unftudied be their tra<le, $15 

Who female truth by falfehood would invade : 
That can betray a friend or kinfman's names, 
And by that covert hide unlawful flames : 
Whofe eager pailion finds its fure relief, 

When terminating in another's grief ? |zo 

Carelefs hereafter what they promife now, 
To the jEolian winds commit their vow; 
Then cite th' example of the faithlefs Jove, 
Who laughs, they fav, at perjury in Love. 



They think they have a thoufand ways to pleafe, 625 

Ten thoufand more to rob the mind of eafe. 

For, as the earth in various birth abounds, 

Their humour dances in fantaftic rounds ; 

Like Proteus, can be Lion, River, Bear, 

A Tree, or any thing that's fram'd of air. (30 

Thus they lay fnares, thus they fet off their bait 

With all the fine allurements of deceit. 

But they who through this courfe of mifchief run 

Will find that fraud is various, Virtue ONE. 

Achilles, a gigantic boy, 635 

Was wanted at the fiege of Troy : 

His country's danger did require him, 

And all the generals did defire him : 

For Difcord, you muft know, had thrown 

An Apple where 'twas two to one 64* 

But, if a ftir was made about it, 

Two of the three muft. go without it : 
f And fo it was j for Paris gave it 

To Venus, who refolv'd to have it. 

(The ftory here would be too long i 645 

But you may find it in the Song.) 

Venus, although not over-virtuous, 

Yet ftill defigning to be courteous, 
i Refolved to procure the varlet 

A flaming and triumphant harlot ; 65* 

Firft ftol'n by one (he would not ftay with, 

Then married to be run away with. 

Her Paris carried to his mother, 

And thence in Greece arofe that pother, 

Of which old Homer, Virgil, Dante, 655 

And Chaucer, make us fuch a cant. 
It was a juft and noble caufe, 

The breach of hofpitable laws : 

Though clone to one, yet common grief 

Made all unite to feek relief. . fcc 

But, when they fought the country round, 

There's no Achilles could be found. 

His mother was afraid t' have loft him, 

And therefore thus flie did accoft him : 



** My pretty clear, let me perfuade ye .'663 

** This once for to becdme a lady. 
" This petticoat and m'antua take, 
And wear this nightrail for my fake. 
** I've made your knots all of the fin ailed,. 
" Becaufe you're fomething of the tailed. 67* 

" I'd have you never go unlac'd, 
" For fear of fpoiling of 'your waift. 
" Now languifh on me fcorn me now 
" Smile frown run laugh 1 fee 'twill do. 
** You'd perfect all you now Begin, ~ 67$ 

** Only for poking out your chin." 

Him thus iaftrucled foon flic fends 
To Lycoraede, and there pretends 
It was a daughter of a Friend's, 
Who, grown full large by country- feeding, '- 68* 

* Was fent to her to mend her breedihg. 
Herfclf had now no child, nor no maa 
To truft but him, poor lonely woman ! 
That might reward him well hereafter, 

If he would ufe her as his daughter. 6^5 

In choice of na.rnes, as Iris, Ghlot^ 
Pfyche and Phil! is, (he took Zoe. 
Th' old man receiv'd her, and exprcft 
Much kindnefs.for his topping gueft : 

Shew'd her his girls .; faid, " Whilft- fhe'd (lay, 69. 

" His Zoe ftould be us'd as tliey." 
At firfl there much referv'dnefs part; 
But, when acquaintance grew at laft, 
They'd jefl, and every one would fliew 

Her works, which (he could' ne\-cr do. fj$ 

One faid, her fingers were moft fitting 
. For the rnoit fiddling work of knitting. 
Then one her wedding-bed would make, 
And all muft help her for love's fake. 

Zoe undreft in night-gown tawdry 70* 

With clumfy fift muft work embroidery; 

- Whilft others try her greafy clunches 
With ftoning currants in whole bunches. 



But there was one, call'd Declamy, 

Miflrufled fomething bv the by, 

And, figlung, thus one night (he faid, ^ 

" Why, Zoe, mayn't we go to bed r" I 

" Soon as you pleaie, good Miftrefs Ded.'* J 

The fleeting months foon rell about ; 

Time came when murder all muft out. ,, I0 

Zoe, for fear of the old man, 
Into the army quickly ran ; 
And iav'd the flitting of his nofe, 
By timely changing of her cloaths. 

Thus, whilft we Glory's dictates fhun, 7 , e 

Into the fnares of Vice we run : 
And he that ihould his country fervc, 
And beauty by his worth deferve, 
In female foftnefs wanton flays, 
And what he fhould adore betrays. 72e 


"13 U T now, O happy Youth, thy prize is found, 

*-* And all thy wiflies with fuccefs are crown'd. 

Not lo Pecans, when Apollo's prais'd ; 

Not trophies to victorious Grecians rais'd ; 

Not acclamations of exalted Rome, ' E [ r . J( . 

To welcome Peace with her Auguftus home ; 

Can more delight a brave and generous mind, 

Than it muft you to fee a Beauty kind : 

The bays to me with gratitude you'll give, 

Like Hefiod and like Homer make me live. 73<> 

Thus Pelops on triumphant chariot brought 

Hippodamy with his life's danger bought. 

Thus profperous Jafon, rich with golden fleece, 

On Argos' vocal timber fail'd to Greece. 

But flay, fond Youth, the danger is not pad : 7 , < 

You're not arriv'd i<i port, nor anchor caft. 



From you my art may ftill more bays deferve, 

If what by me you gain'd, by me you fhall prcfcrve. 

Nor than the conqueft is the glory lefs 

To .fix the throne on that which you poffefs. -40 

Now, Erato, divinefr, fofteft Mufe, 

Whofe name and office both do Love infufe, 

Aflift my great defign : If Venus' Son, 

That vagabond, would from his Mother run, 

And then, with foaring wings and body lisjht, 745 

Thro' the vaft world's extent would take his flight ; 

By artful bonds let me fucure his ftay, 

And make his univerfal Power obey. 

Whilft I my art would thus improve, 

And fondly thought to (hackle Love, 750 

Two neighbours that were (landing by, - 

Tormented both with jealoufy, I 

Told me it was in vain to try. J 

When one began his tale, as thus : 

"Perhaps you've heard of Daedalus, 755 

" When Minos would have made him flay, 

" How through the clouds he found his way. 

" He was a workman wife and good, 

" Building was what he underftood. 

" Like to the houfe where we aft Plays, -60 

" He made a turning winding maze, 

" Fitting to harbour ats of fin, 

" And put a Whore and Baftard in. 

" I've done your work ; and now my truft is, 

" Good Sir, that you will do me juftice. - 6 . 

'Tis true I hither fled for murther ; 

" Let my misfortunes go no further : 
. * Some end all punifhments fliould have. 

** Birth to the wretch my country gave : L 

< " Let it afford me now a grave. 

" Difmifs my fon ; at lead, if rather 

" You'd keep the boy, difmifs his Father. 

" This he might fay, and more, or fo j 

" But Minos would not let him go. 

" At this he was enrag'd, and cried, -.-- 

r V It is in danger wit is tried : 
' VOL. III. L 


" Minos pollclles Earth and Sea ; 
" The (ky and fire are left for me. 
" Pardon my fond attempt, great Jove, 
" If I approach your feats above. 
" It is ntccffity that draws 
" A new-invented rule for Nature's laws. 

" Thus he began : Full many a feather 
" With twine of thread he ftitch'd together : 
" (Abundance more than arc enough 
" To make youv wife and mine a muff.) 
" Thus he frames wings, and noshing lacks 
" To fix the whok, but melted wax : 
" That was the work of the young boy 
" Pleas'd at the fancy of the toy ; 
" Not gueiling, ere he was much older, 
" He fhould have one upon each flioulder^ 
" To whom his Father : Here's the Ship 
*' By which we muft from Minos {Tip. 
* Child, follow me jraft as, I fly on, 
" And keep your eye fix'd on Orion : 
* I'll be your guklc ; and never feaar,. 
" Conduced by a Father's care. 
" The Virgin and Bootes fhun. 
"Take heed left you approach the Sun j 
" His ilaming influence will be fclt, 
" And the diffufive wax wrtl melt, 
" The fea by rifing fogs difcover j 
" O'er that, be fure, you never hover. 
* It would be difficult to drag 

" Your wetted pinions, fliould they flag. 
' Between them both, the Iky is fair,. 
" No winds or. hurricanes are there, 
41 But you may. fan the fleeting air. 

" Thus fpeuking, he with whipcord ftring* 
" Fallens, and then extends, the wings i 
*' And, when the youth's completely divff, 
** Juft as the I^ag'e from her neft 
" ^y g en tl e flights her Eaglet tries 
** To dwe the fun, and moan* the flues ; 


" The Father fo his Boy prepares, 

" Not without kifs and falling tears. 

" In a large plain, a fifing height 

" Gives fume afiiftance to their flight. 

" With a quick fpring and fluttering no\fe t SiO 

" They in the fky their bodies poite. 

" Back on his Son the Father looks, 

" Praihng his fwift and even ftrokcs. 

" Now dread lefs, with bold art fupplicd, -j 

" He does on airy billows ride, "> 

*' And foar with an ambitious pride. J 

" Mortals, who by the limpid flood 

*< With patient angle long have ftopd, 

" On the fmooth water's fhining face 

" See the amazing creatures pafs, 839 

*' Look up aftonim'd, whilft the reed 

" Drops from the hand whole fenfc is dead, 

" Roll'd by the wind's impetuous hade 

*' They Samos now and Naxos pail, 

" Paros, and Delos bleit abode 835 

*' And parent of the Clarjian Gjpd. 

41 Lebinthus on their right hand lies, 

' And fweet Calydnc's Grove$ arij'e, 

" And fam'd Aftypaljta^ Fco? 

" Breeds Ihoals of hm in pwzy dens ; 49 

4 l When the unwary Boy, whofe growing years 

" Ne'er knew the worth ^tf cautious fears, 
" Mounts an aethercal h\U, whence l\e might jj>y 
' The lofty regions f a brighter ft.y. 

" Far from Jiis Father's call and aid 845 

I *' His wings in glittering fire difptay'tj, 

" Whofe ambient heat their plume invxjves* 

" And all their liquid bands d;iVoJves. 

4< He fees his looferi'-d pi.njons drop ; 

** On naked arms lies all his hope. 850 

*f From the vaft conc,av pfpcipice !; finds 
" A fwift deftruclion finking wit^i tlie winds. 

" Beneath him jjes a gaping .deep, 

" Whofe womb h e^uslly as ftcep. 

L i " Then, 



" Then, " Father ! Father !" he'd have cried : l^ 

" Tempefts the trembling founds divide, 

" Whilft difmal fear contrafts hrs breath, 

" And the rough wave completes his death. 
My Son! my Son !" long might the Father cry: 
There is no track to feek him in the Sky. 860 

" By floating wings his body found 

" Is cover'd with rhe neighbouring ground, 
His art, though not fuccefsful, has its fame, 
And the Icarian feas preferve his name." 

If men from Minos could efcape, $65 

And into Birds transform their fhape, 

And there was nothing that could hold them, 

Provided feathers might be fokl them ; 

The thought from madnefs furely fprings 

To fix a God that's born with wings. 87* 

Quoth t'other man, " Sir, if you ? ll< tarry, ") 

' I'll tell you a tale ; of my Boy Harry r r 

" Would make a Man afraid to -marry.. 3 

" This Boy does oft from paper white 

" In miniature produce a Kite. 875 

" With tender hands the wood he bends, 

44 On which the body he extends r 

** Pafte made of flour with water mix'd 

Is the cement by which 'tis fix'd : 

" Then fciflars from the maid he'll borrow, 880 

" With promife of return to-morrow. 

M With thofe he paper nicely cuts, 

" Which n die fides for- wings he puts.. 

" The tail, that's an eflential parr, 

" He manages with equal art j ' 885 

" With paper fhreds at diftance tied r . 
. ** As not too near, nor yet too wide, 

Which he to fitting length extends, 

** Till with a tuft the fabrick ends. 

** Next packthread of the evened twine, 89* 

** Or fometimes filk, he'll to it join,. 

" Which, by the guidance of his hand, 

** Its rife or downfall may command ; 


*< Or carry mefTengers, to fee 

If all above in order be. 89 5 

*' Then wanton Zephyrs fan it till it rife, 
* l And through aethereal rills ploughs up the azure Ikies. 
u Sometimes in -filent (hade of night 

*' He'll make it fhine with wondrous light 

" By lanthern with tranfparent folds, -500 

*' Which flcming wax in fafety holds. 

" This glittering with myfterious rays 

*' Does all the neighbourhood amaze. 

" Then comes the Conjurer o'th' place, 

" With legs afquint and crooked face, 905 

*' Who with his fpying-polc from far 

"Pronounces it a Blazing-ftar : '':"" 

-** That wheat fhall fall, and oats be dear, 

" And barley fhall not fpring that year: 

" That murrain -fhall infeft all kine, 91* 

" And meafles will deitroy the fwine : 

" That fair maids fweethearts fhall fall dead 

" Before they lofe their maidenhead ; 

*' And widows fhall be forc'd to tarry 

" A month at leaft before they -marry. 915 

" But, whilft the foo'l liis thooght enjoys, 

" The whole contrivance was my Boy's. 

" Now, >mark me, 'uvas from fuch like things 

" The Poets fram'd out Cupid's wings. 
, " If a Child's nature thus can foar, 

" And all this, lies within his pxnver., 

** His Mother. furely can clo more; 

-" Pray teli me what is .to be done, 

u If ihe'll with Cuckold-makers run. 

" No watchful care of jealous eye 

"Can hinder, rf efcape ihe'll try ; 

" The Kite will to her carrion -fly." 
Where native Modefty the mind fecure^ 
The Hufband has no need of locks and doors.; 
- Xhe fpecious Comet fram'd by Jealoufy 
Will prove dclufion all, and all a lie. 

L 3 P A-R T 


PART Vil. 

NO T all the Herbs by fage Medea found, 
Not Marfan drugs, though mixt with magic found* 
Not philtres ftuclied by ThelFalian art, 
Can rix the mind, and conftancy impart. 
Could thefe prevail, Jafon had felt their charms j 
Ulyfles ftill had died in Circe's arms. 
Continue lovely, if you'll be belov'd : 
Virtue from Virtue's bands is ne'er remov'd. 
Like Nireus beautiful, like Hy las gay; -^ 

By Time the blooming outfidc will decay. 
See Hyacinth again of form bereft, 
And only thorns upon the rofe-tree left. 
Then lay up lloies of learning and of \vit, 
Whofe fame fhall fcorn the Acherontic pit, 
And, whilft thofe fleeting fliadows vainly fly, 
Adorn the better part which cannot die. 

Ulyfles had no magick in his face; 
But then his eloquence had charming grace, 

Such as could force itfelf to be believ'd, ' < 

And all the watery GoddeiTcs deceiv'd : 
To whom Calypfq from her widow'*! fhore 
Sends him thefe fighs, which furious tempers bore. 

" Your paflagc often I by art delay'd ; 

" Oblig'd you more, the more to be betray 'd. - 9 -, 

" Here you have often on this rolling fand 
" Dekrib'd your fccnc of war with flrnder wand. 
4 Here's Troy, and this circumference its walls : 
" Here Simois gently in. the octan falls .- 

" Here lies my camp: theft- are the fpacions fields 6o 

' Where to this fword the crafty Dolon yields. 
u This of Sithonian Rhefus is the tent: 
" On with the plcafing tale your language went, 
:< When a tenth wave did with one iLifh deftroy 
" The platform of imaginary Tit>y. ^ 

" By fear like this I would, enforce your ftay, 
" To fee what names the waters toiVd away. 

I rook 


I took you caft up helplefs by the fea : ^ 

" Thoufands of happy hours you pafs'd with me ; > 

*' No mention made of old Penelope. J 

'* On adamant our wrongs we all engrave, 
" But write our benefits upon the wave. 
" Why then be gone, the feas uncertain truft ; 
" As I found_yo, fo may you find them juft. 
" Dying Calypfo mutt be left behind, 975 

" And all your vows be wafted with the wind !" 
Fond are the hopes he fltould be conflant now, 
Who to his tendercft part had broke his vow. 
13y artful charms the Miftrefs ftrives in vaia ~ 

The loofe inconftant wanderer to gain. I 

SJiamc is her entrance, and her end is pain. J 


TNDULGENCE foon takes with a noble mindt 
JL Who can be harfli that fees another kind ? 
Moft times the greateft art is to comply 
In granting that which juftice might deny. 
We form our tender plants by foft degrees, 
And from a warping ftem raife ftately trees. 
To cut th* oppofing waves we ftrive in vain ; . 
But, if we rife with them, and fall again, 
The wifli'd-for land with eafc we may attain. 
Such complaifancc will a rough humour bend, 
And, yielding to one failure, fave a fliead, 
Mildnefs and temper have a force divine, 
To make ev'n paffion with their nature join. 
The Hawk we hate, as living ftill in arms, 
And Wolves ailiduous in the Shepherd's harms. 
The fociable Swallow has no fears : 
Upon our towers the Dove her nc'ft prepares, :>-. - 
And both of thorn live free from human fnares. 
Far from loud rage and echoing noife of fights 
The fofteft Lovr in gcndc found delights. 

L .4 Smooth 


Smooth mirtli, bright fmilc's, calm peace, and flowing joy, 

Are the companions of the Paphian boy : 

Such as when Hymen fir ft his mantle fpread 

All o'er the (acred dowh which made the bridal bed. 100.5 

Thefe blandishments keep Love xipon the wing, 

His prefence frem, and always in the fpring :' 

This makes a profpeft endlefs to the vie'w, 

With light that rifcs ftill, and ftill is new. " 

At your approach find every thing ferene, ' ii 

Like Paphos honour'cl by the Cyprian Queen, 

Who brings along her daughter Harmony, 

With IVIufes fprung from Jove and Graces Three. 

Birds fhot by you, Fifh by your angle caught, 

The Golden Apples from Hefperia brought, 1015 

The blufhing Peach, the fragrant Neftareens, 

Laid in frefh beds of flowers and fcented greens, 

Fair Lilies ftrcw'd with bloody Mulberries, 

Or Grapes whofc juice made Bacchus reach the Ikies, 

May oftentimes a grateful prefent make, " 1020 

Kot for the value, but the giver's fake. 

Perhaps Ine may at vacant hours perufe 
The happy product of your eafy Mufe. 
Far from intrigue and fcandal be your verfe j 
But praife of virgin modcfty rehearfe : 1025 

Maufolus by his confort deified : 
How for Admetus bltft Alceftis died. 
Since Overbury's " Wife e ," no Poets feem 
T' have chofe a wifer or a nobler theme. 


e This poem, fuppofed to have been written for the earl of Somerfet, 
is the character of a good woman; jolt the revtrfe of the lady that 
his friend marred. It is printed with his Charafleis, &c. and hac! gone 
through fixtetn ec'itrons in 1638 ; the laft, a very accurate one, 
was publifhed by Mr. Capell, with other pierss of antient Poetry, in 
8vo, 1770. Sir Thomas Oveihury, a gentleman of eminent .parts and 
learning, and of judgement and experience beyond his years, was 
long the friend and confident of Robt.rt Car, ejrl of Somerfet. His 
abilities were of finguhr fervice to that fjvourite, who did nothing without 
Jiis advice jni dirjflion ; and was actuflomed to make ufe of his pen in 
his addrelles to the king and to his miflrefs. Overbury, who was naturally 
haughty and overbearing, prefumed to oppnfe tie earl's mni*ge with the 


You'tl help a neighbour, would a friend prefer, 1030 

Pardon a iervant, let all come from her. 
Thus what you grant if (he mud recommend, 
'Twill make a mutual gift and double friend. 
So, when pale want is craving at the door, 

We fend our favourite fon to help the poor; 1035 

Pleas'd with their grateful prayers that he may live, 
And find what heavenly pleafure 'tis to give. 
Piaife all her aftions, think her drefs is fine ; - 

Embroideries with gold, pearl, diamonds, join : t 

If our wealth does beft, when plac'd on beauty, mine. J 

If me in tabby waves encircled be, 
Think Amphytrite rifes from the fea. 
Jf by her the purpureal velvet's worn, 
Think that fhe riles like the blufh of morn ; 

countefs of Effex, and expected the fame deference to be paid to his judge- 
ment on this as upon every other occafion. This oppofition drew upon 
him the rage of the earl, and the fury of the countefs ; who determined on 
his ruin, and fpeedily effected it. In the guife of friendfliip, Car repre- 
fented to the king that it was neceflary to remove Overbury from the 
court by fome honourable employment, and advifed his being fent am- 
baflador to Mufcovy. The king confented. But the perlidioi-s minion 
prevailed on his credulous friend to decline the appointment; and then 
requeiled the monarch to punifli him for his refufal. He was committed 
to The Tower ; where his death, which was feveral iimes in vain at- 
tempted, was at lall effecled, by a poifoned clyfter, Sept. 15, 1613. A 
tragedy founded on this fad event, is among .the works of Mr. Savage. 
Mrs. Turner, who has been mentioned vol. I. p. 162, was an active accom- 
plice in this murder. We are told by Mr. Oldmixon, in " The Life and 
" Pofthumous Works of Arthur Maynwaring, efq." p. 3, that (he was 
a known mirlrefs of that gentleman's grandfather, Sir Arthur ; who was a 
courtier in the reign of James J, a favourite of Prince Henry, and a man 
of gallantry. When the Countefs and Mrs. Turner intended to pr-icli'c 
their infernsl experiments on the Earl of Eflex by powders and phiitres, 
they were afiifted with drugs by Dr. Foreman, of Lambeth, an en.inent 
Qnack ; and Mrs. Turner, to' try how effectually they would operate, 
gave them firft to S.r Anhur Maynwaring, who wai fo enflameH by 
them, that he rode fifteen miles, through a ftonn of rain ar--i thunder, 
to Turner's houfe. Wilfon, in his Life of King James, fays, he fcarco 
knew where he was, till he was there. 



Anl when her filks afar from Indus come, 1*4.5 

"Wrought in Chinefe or in the Perfiau loom, 
Think that the then like Pallas is array'd, 
By whofe myfterious art the wheel was made. 
Each day admire her different graceful air, 

In \yhich fhe winds her blight and flowing hair. 105-0 

With her when dancing let your genius fly : 
When in her fong the note expires, then die. 
If in die Autumn, when the walling year 
Its plenty fhews, that foon mult difnppear ; . 
When fwelling Grape and Peach with lovely hue, 1*5$ 

And Pear and Apple, frelh with fragrant dew, 
By tempting look and tafle perhaps invite 
That which we feldom rule, our appetite ; 
When noxious heat and fudden cold divides 

The time o'er which hale influence provides ; 1060 

Her feverifh blood mould pulfe unufual find, , 
Or vaporous damps of fpleen Ihould (ink her mind ; 
Then is the time to fhew a Lover's cares : 
Sometimes enlarge her hopes, contract her fears. 
Give the falubrious draughts with your own hand : 1065 

Perfuafion has the force of a command. 
Watch and attend ; then your reward will prove, 
When (he recovers, full increafe of Love. 

Far from this Love is haughty pride, 

Which antient Fables heft deride ; ^70 

Women imperious, void of fhame, 

And carelefs of their Lovers' fame, 

Who of tyrannic follies boaft, 

Tormenting him that loves them mofh 

When Hercules, by labours done, 1075 

Had prov'd himfclf to be Jove's fon ; 

By peace which he to Earth had given, 

peferv'd to have his reft in Heaven ; 

Envy, that ftrivcs to be uriuft, 

Refolv'd te mortify him fiiil ; 1086 

And that he fhouhl cnamour'd be 

Pf a proud jilt call'd Omphale, 

Who IhouM lu's tterofhip expofe 

By fpinning hemp in womeni cloaths. 



Her mind me did vouch fafe one clay 1085 

Thus to her Lover to difplay : 

" Come quickly, Sir, off with this Skin : 

" Think you I'll let a Tanner in ? 

" If you of Lions talk, or Boars, 

" You certainly turn out of doors. :c^o 

" Your club's abundantly too thick 

" For one fhall move a fiddle-flick. 

" What fhould you do with all thofe arrows ? 

" I will have nothing kill'd but Sparrows. 

" Ileccy, this clay you may remember ,- i9$ 

14 For you {hall fee a Lady's chamber. 

' Let me be rightly under flood : 

" What I intend is for your good. 

" In boddice I defign to lace ye, 

" And fo among my Maids I'll place ye. -i j C o 

" When you're gentecler grown, and thinner, 

" May be I'll call you up to dinner. 

" Wuh arms fo brawny, fills fo red, 

" You'll fcrub the rooms, or make the bed. 

" You can't flick pins, or frieze my hair. Hoc 

" Blci's me ! you've nothing of an air. 

" You'll ne'er come up to working point: 

" Your fingers all feem out of joint. 

" Tl\cn befides, Heccy, I muft tell ye 

" An idle hand has empty belly : I IIO 

** Therefore this morning I'll begin, 

" Try how your clumllnefs will fpin. 

" You are my ihudow, do you fee : 

*' Your hope, your thought, your wifh all be, I 

" Invented and control'd by me. 

" Look up whene'er I laugh ; look down 
" With trembling horror, if I frown, 
" Say as I fay : fervants can't lie, 

* Your truth is my propriety. 

" Nay, you fhould be to torture brought, sno 

* Were I but jealous you tranigrefl in thought ; 
" Or if from Jove your fingle wifh ihoukl crave 
* The fate of not continuing (till my {lave. 


" There is no Lover that is wife 

Pretends to win at cards or dice. llt $ 

" 'Tis for his Miftrefs all is thrown : 
Th' ill-fortune his, the good her own. . ' 

Melanion, whilom lovely youth, 
*< Fam'd for his valour and his truth, 

Whom every beauty did adorn' ' _. 1130 

Frerh as -Aurora's blulhing morn, 
*' Injp the horrid xvoods is run, 
" Where he ne'er fees the ray of fun, 
Nor to his palace dares return, 

Where he for Pfyche's love did burn, **3 

And found correction at "her hands 
' For difobeying juft commands ; 

But muft his (ilent penance do - 

" For once not buckling of her ftoe : I 

" A good example, child, for you. J 

< Which fliews you, when we have our fool, 
" We've policy enough to rule : 
' I m"i2;ht have made you fucli a fellow, 
-' As fhould have carried my umbrella, 
*' Or Iwre a flambeau by my chair, , 1145 

*' And bad the mob not come too near; 
*' Or lay the cloth, or wait at table ; 
*' Nay been a helper in the ftable. 

" To my commands obedience pay 

*' At dead of night, or break cf day. - 1150 

*' Speed is your province ; if 'tis I 
" That bid you run, you ought to fly.. 
* He that Love's nimble paflion feek 
" Will foon outftrip my chariot wheels. 
" Thro' Dog-ftar's l"ieat he'll tripping go, _ 

" Nor leaves he print upon the fnow. I 

" The wind itfclf to him is flow. 
" He that in Cupid's wars would fight, 
' Grief, winter, dirty roads, and. night, 

" A bed of earth midfl fliowers of rain, 1160 

" After no f upper, are his gain. 
ft Bright Phoebus .took Adujetus' pay, 
" And in a little cottage lay : 



All this he did for fear of Jove ; 

" And who would not do more for Love ? 1 1 6 ~ 

4 * If entrance is by locks denied, 

" Then through the roof or window Side,. 

" Leander each night fwam the lias, 

" That he might thereby Hero pleafe. 

" Perhaps I may be pleas'd to fee 1 1 70 

4t Your life in danger r \vhen forme, 

" You'll find my fen-ants in a rowj "I f 

*' Remember then you make your bow 5 f 

" For they are your fuperiors now. * 

*' No matter if you <3o engage > '7$ 

' My Porter, Woman, favourite Page, 

" My Dog, my Parrot, Monkey, Black, -| 

" Or any thing that does partake > 

* Of that admittance which you lack. J 

" But after all you mayn't prevail, n8 

" And your moll glittering hopes may fail ~ 

" For Ceres does not always yield 

*' The crop entrufted to the field. 

" Fair gales may bring you to a coaft 

" Where you'll by hidden rocks be loft. u9$ 

" Love is tenacious of its joys, 

*' Gives fmall reward for great employs j 

" But has as many griefs in ftore 

u As Shells by Neptune caft on ihore. 

" As Athos Hares, as Hybla Bees, 1190 

" Olives on the Palladian trees. 

4t And, when his angry arrows fall, 

* They're not found ting'd with common galL 

*' You're told I'm not at home, 'tis true : - 

" I may be there, but not for you j > 

" And I may let you fee it too. /, J, : 

*' Perhaps I bad you come at night : 

If the door's ftut, &.$$ ghr. ; r , ^ ^ 

Perhaps my Maid mall bid you go : , . f 

" A thing me knows you dare not do. -1200 

' Your rival ft all admifTion gain, 

*' And laugh to fse his foe in [wio. 

:_ U. J All 


" All this and more you muft endure, 
" If you from me expcfcV. a cure. 
" 'Tis fitting I fhould fearch the wound, 
" Left all your danger be not found." 
When eafy fononefs meets with woman's pride, 
Nothing which that can aft mult be denied. 
He that enjoy 'd the names of great and brave 
Is pleas'd to feem a female and a Have: 
The Hero, number'd with the gods before, 
Is fo tkbas'd d;> to be mail no more. 


NO T by the fail with which you put to -Tea 
Can you where Thetis fwells conducted be, 

To the fame port you'll different palTage find 1415 

And fill your flieets ev'n with contrarious wind. 
You nurs'd the Fawn, now grown Stag wondrous big, 
And ficep beneath the made you knew a twig. 1 
SThe bubbling Spring, increased by floods and rain, 
Rolls with impetuous flream, and foams the main: itze 

So Love augments in juft degrees ; at length 
By nutrimencal fires it gains its ftrength. 
Daily till midnight let kind looks or fong, 
Or tales of love, the pleafing hours prolong. 
No wearinefs upon their bjifs attends 1225 

Whom marriage vows have render'd more than friends. 
So Philomels of equal mates pofieft, 

With a cpng^nial heat, and downy reft, I 

And care incelfant, hover o'er their neft : 

Hence from their eggs (fmall worlds whence all things fpriny) 1230 
Produce a race by nature taught to fing; 
Who ne'er to this harmonious air had come, 
Had their parental love ftray'd far from home. 
By a fhort abfence mutual joys increaTc : 

'Tis from the toils of war we value peace. 1135 

When jqve a while the fruitful fhower reflrains,- 
JTlie field on his return a brighter verdure gains. 



So let not grief too much difturb thofc hearts, 

Which for a while the war or bufimefs parts. 

Twas hard to let Protefilaus go, 1240 

"Who diil his death by oracles foreknow. 

UlyiFes made indeed a tedious ftay, 

His twenty winters abfence was delay; 

But happinefs revives \v\i\\ his return, 

And Hymen's altars with frefh inccnfe burn : 1245 

Tale* of his mip, her web, they both recount; 

Pleas'd that their wedlock faith all dangers could furmount. 

Make thou fpeed back ; hafte to her longing arms : 
She may have real or impending harms. 

There are no minutes in a Lover's fears : 125* 

They meafure all their time by months and years. 
Poets are always Virtue's friends, 

'Tis what their Mufe ftill recommends: ' 

But then the fatal track it (hows 

Where devious vice through trouble goes. * 2 55 

They tell us, how a hufband's care 

Neglebd leaves a wife too fair 

In hands of a young fyark call'd Paris; 

And how the beauteous trull mifcarries. 

With kindnefs he receives the ycuth, n6e 

Whofe modeft looks might promife truth? 

Then gives him opportunity 

To throw the fpecious vizard by. 

The man had things to be adjultcd, 

With which the wife ftould not be rrafted j 1265 

And, whilft he gave himfelf die loofe, 

Left her at home to keep the houfe. 
When Helen faw his -back was tuni'd, 

The devil a bit the gipfy mournVK 

Says (he, " 'Tis his fault to be gone j i2?0 

*' It lha'n't be mine to lie alone. 

** A vacant pillow's fuch a jcft, 

" That with it I could never reft. 

* He ne'er confider'd his own danger, 
: ' To leave me with a handfome ftra-nger. 1x75 

44 Wolves would give good account uf SJiecp, 

.** Lef: to thtir vigilan.ce to keep. 

,60 T II E A R T O F L O V E. 

*' Pray who, except 'twere Geefe or Widgeons, 
" Would hire a Hawk to guard their Fidgeons? 

" Suppofing then it miglit be faid 1280 

tl That Menelaus now were dead: 

" A pretty figure I fhould make 

*' To go in mourning for his fake. 

" She that in widow's garb appears, 

" Efpecially when at my years, 

" May feem to be at her laft prayers. 

But I'll Hill have my heart divided 

" 'Twixt one to lofe, and one provided. 

" He that is gone, is gone : lels fear 

"Of wanting him that I have here." 1290 

The fequel was the Fire of Troy 

Brought to deftruftion by this Boy. 
They tell us, How a Wife provok'd, 

And to a brutifh Hufband yok'd, 

Who, by cliilra&ing paffion led, 1295 

Scorns all her charms, and flies her bed, 

When on her Rival fhe has feiz'd, 

Seems with a fecret horror pleas'd. 

They then defcribe her like fqme Boar 

Plunging his tufk in MaftifPs gore ; 1300 

Or Lionefs, whofe ravifh'd whelp 

Roars for his Mother's furioas help ; 

Or Bafiliik when rouz'd, whpfe breath, 

Teeth, fting, and eye-balls, all are death; 

Like franticks ftruck by magic rod 1305 

Of foriie defpis'd avenging God : 

Make her through blood for vengeance run, 

Like Progne facrificc her fon, 

And like Medea dart thofe fires 
.By which Creufa's ghofl expires. 1310 

Then let her with exalted rage 

Her grief with the fame crimes a flu age. 

To heighten and improve the curfe, 

Bccaufe he's bad, .tluy make her- worfc. 

So Tyndaris dillolv^s in tears, 1315 

When firft fhe of ChryfcJs hears j 



Her patience lefTens by degrees j 
But when at lad fhe Priamei's fees, 

But when Lyrneffis captive's led, 

And ravifh'd to defile her bed, 

"1 ' 

Revenge does to ^Egyftus fly for eafe ; . J 

In his adulterous arms does plots difclofe, - , 

Which fill Mycense with ftupendous woes, L 

And parricide and hell around her throws. J 

Ye Heavenly Powers, the female truth preferve> 1325 

And let it not from native goodnefs fwerve ; 
And let no wanton toys become the caufe 
Why men Ihould break Hymen's eternal laws ; 
But let fuch fables and fuch crimes remain 

Only as fictions of the Poet's brain : '31* 

Yet marks fet up to fhun thofe dangerous fhelves 
On which deprav'd mankind might wreck themfelve's ! 


A T firft, the flars, the air, the earth, and deep, 
^^- Lay all confus'd in one unorder'd heap. 
Till Love Eternal did each being ftrike *35J 

With voice Divine to march, and feck its Like. 
Then feeds of Heavens, then Air of vapourous found, 
Then fertile Earth circled with Waters round, 
On which the Bird, the Beaft, the Fifli, might move, 
All center'd in that univerfal Love. *34<3* 

Then Man was fram'd with foul of godlike, ray, 
And had a nobler fliare of Love than they : 
To him was Woman crown'd with virtue given, 
The molt immediate work and care of Heaven. 

Whilft thus my darling thoughts in raptures fung, $345 

Apollo to my fight in vifion fprung. 
His lyre with golden firings his touch commands, 
And wreaths of laurel flourish in his hands. 
Says he, " You Bard that of Love's precepts treat, 
*' Your art at Delphi you will beft complete. 13 ?o 

Vol. III. M "There's 


" There's a. Ihort maxim, prais'd when underftood, 
" Ufeful in praftice, and divinely good, 
" The pleafure of the blcft is doing well'. 

" 'Tis wifdom to difplay the ruling grace. 1355 

" Some men are happy in a charming face : 
" Know it, but be not vain. Some manly mow 
" By the exploded gun and nervous bow. 
" There let them prove their fkill ; perhaps fome heart 
" May find that every fhot is Cupid's dart. 1360 

" The prudent Lover, if his talent lies 
" In eloquence, e'nt talkative, but wife j 
" So mixes words delicious to the ear, 
" That all muft be pcrfuaded who can hear. 

" He that can fing, let him with pleating found, 1365 

" Though 'tis an air that is not mortal, wound. 
'Let not a Poet my own art refufe : 
< Til come, and bring affiftauce to his Mufe." 

But never by ill means your fortune pufli, 

Nor raife your credit by another's blulh. 1370 

The fecret rites of Ceres none profane, 
Nor tell what Gods in Samo-thracia reign. 
'Tis virtue by grave filence to conceal 
What talk without difcretion would reveal. 

For fault like this now Tantalus does lie 1375 

In midft of fruits and water, ftarv'd and dry- 
But Cytherea's modefty requires 
Moft care to cover all her lambent fires. 

Love has a pleafing turn, makes that feem belt, 
Of which our lawful wiflies are polleft. 1380 

Andromeda, of Libyc hue and blood, -k 

Was chain'd a prey to monfters of the flood : > 

Wing'd Perfeus faw her beauty through that cloud. J 

Andromache had large majeftic charms ; 

Therefore was fhteft grace to godlike Heftor's arms. '385. 

Beauties in imaller airs bear like commands, 
And wondrous Magick afts by flendereft wands. 
Like Cybele fouie bear a mother's fway, 
Whilft infant Gods ajid Hecoines obey. 



Some rule like ftars by guidance of their eyes, . 1390 

And others plcafe when like Minerva wife. 
!Love will from 'Heaven, Art, Nature, Fancy raife 
Something that may ex&lt its Confort's praife. 
There will be little jealoufies, 

By which Love's art its fubje&s tr'es. 1395 

They think it languishes with reft, 

But rifesi like the palm, oppreft. 

And as too much profperity 

Often makes way for luxury, 

Till we, by turn of fortune taught, 140* 

Have wifdom by experience bought ; 

So when the hoary a flies grow 

Around Love's coals, 'tis time to blow 

And then its craftinefs is fhown, 

To raife your caresj to hide its own ; 1405 

And have you by a rival croft, 

Only in hopes you mayn't be loft. 

Sometimes they fay that you are faulty, 

And that they Icnow where you were naughty ; 

And then perhaps your eyc$ they'd tear, * 

Or clfe dilacerate your hair, > 

Not fo much for revenge at fear. J 

But (he perhaps too far may run, 

And do what (he would have you Ihuri, 

Of which there's a poetic ftory .1415 

That, if you pleafe, I'll lay before you. 
Old Juno made her Jove comply 

For fear, not aiking when qr why, 

Unto a certain fort of matter, 

Marrying her fon unto his daughter .- i^zo 

And fo to bed the couple went, 

Not with their own, but friends confent. 

This Vulcan was a Smith, they tell us, 

That firft invented tongs and bellows $ 

For breath and fingers did their works ^425 

(We'd fingers long before we'd forks) ; 

Which made Us hands both hard and brawny, 

When wafh'd, of colour orange-tawny. 

M z JKs 


His whole complexion was a fallow, 

XVhere black had not deftroy'd the yellow. >4S<> 

One foot was clump'cl, which was the Wronger, 

T'other was fpiny, though much longer ; 

So both to the proportion come 

Of the fore-finger and the thumb. 

Jn fhort, the whole of him was nafly, j^j- 

Jll-natur'cl, vain, imperious, hafty : 

Deformity alike took place 

Both in his manners and his face. 

Venus had perfect fhape and fize ; 

But then fhe was not over-wife : 1440 

For fometimes fhe her knee is crimping 

To imitate th' old man in limping. 

Sometimes his duty paws fhe fcorns, 

Whilft her fair fingers fhew his horns. 

But Mars, the Bully of the place, is j*. . 

The chiefeft fpark in her good graces. 

At firft they're fhy, at laft grow bolder, 

And conjugal affection colder. 

They car'd not what was faid or done, 

Till impudence defied the Sun. ,, ._ 

Vulcan was told of this ; quoth he, 
" Is there fuch roguery ? I'll fee !" 
He then an iron net prepar'c!, 
Which he to the bed's tefter rear'd ; 

Which, when a pully gave a fnap, I4 - . 

Would fall, and make a cuckold's trap. 
. All thofe he plac'd in the beft room, 
Then feign'd that he muft go from home; 
For he at Lemnos forges had, 
And none but he to mind the trade, 14(>Q 

Love was too eager to beware 
Of falling into any fnare. 
They went to bed, and fo were caught ; 
And then they of repentance thought. 

The fhow being ready to begin, ,,5, 

Vulcan would call his neighbours in. 
Jove mould' be there, that does make bold 
With Juno, that notorious fcold ; 



"Neptune firil Bargeman on the water ; 

Thetis the Oyfter-woman's daughter ; I47O 

Pluto that Chimney-fweeping floven, 

With Proferpine hot from her oven ; 

And Mercury, that's fljarp and cunning 

In Dealing cuftoms and in running ; 

And Dy the Midwife, though a Virgin; J475 

And .flLfculapius the Surgeon ; 

Apollo, who might be Phyfician, 

Or ferve them elfe for a Mufician j 

The Piper Pan, to play her up j 

And Bacchus, with his chirping cup; i4?o 

And Hercules fhould bring his club in. 

To give the Rogue a lufty drubbing; 

And all the Cupids fhould be by, 

TO fee their Mother's infamy. 

One Momus cried, " You're hugely pkas'd ; 1485 

" I hope your mind will foon be eas'd : 

" For, when fo publicly you find it, 

(t People, you know, will little mind if. 

" They love to tell what no one knows, 

" And they themfelves only fuppofo. J49* 

" Not every hufband can afford 

f< To be a Cuckold on Tecord ; 

" Nor fhould he be a Cuckold ftyl'd, 

" That once or fo has been beguil'd j 

" Unlefs he makes it demonstration, "I 

" Then puts it in forae proclamation, 

" With general voice of all the nation." J 

The company were come, when Vulcan hopping 
And for his key in left-fide pocket groping, 

Cries, " 'Tis but opening of that door 1500 

" To prove myfelf a Cuckold, her a Whore." 

They all dcfir'd his leave that they might go ; 
They were not curious of fo vile a {how : 
1'erfons concerted might one another fee, 

And they'd believe fince witnefles were three. ^50^ 

And they, thus prov'd to be fuch foolilh elves, 
Might hear, try, judge, and e'en condemn themfelves. 



Difcretion covers that which it would blame, ^ 

Until fome fecret blufh and hidden fhame V 

Have cur'd the fault without the noife of fame. 
The work is done : and now let Ovid have 
Some gratitude attending on his grave ; 
Th' afpiring palm, the verdant laurel ftrow, 
And fvveets of myrtle wreaths around it throw. 
In Phy tick's Art as Podalirius fkill'd, 1515 

Keftor in Court, Achilles in the Field j 
As Ajax had in fingle Combat force, 
And as Automedon beft rul'd the Horfe ; 
As Chalcas veiVd in Prophecies from Jove : 
So Ovid has the Mafterfhip of Love. j-zc 

The Poet's honour will be much the lefs - 

Than that which by his means you may poffe.fs I 

In choice of Beauty's lafting happinefs. J 

Jjut, when the Amazonian quits the field, -j 

Let this be wrote' on the triumphant fhield, > 

That fhe by Ovid's Art was brought to yiefd. 

When Ovid's thoughts in Britifh ftyle you fee, ~] 

Which mayn't fo founding as the Roman be ; 
Yet then admittance grant : 'tis fame to me. J 


IWho the art of war to Danaans gave, J530 

Will make Penthefilea's force as brave": 
That both, becoming glorious to the fight, 
With equal arms may hold a dubious fight. 
What though twas Vulcan fram'd Achilles' fhield, 
My Amazonian dam fhall' make him yield. J53S 

A myrtle crown with viftory attends 
Thofe who are Cupid's and Diorie's friends. 
When Beauty has fo many arms in ftore, 
(Some men will fay)' why ftould you g ; ve ; t more , 
Tell me who, \vhcii Penelope appears x 54C 

With conftancy maintain^ for twenty years ; 



Who can the fair Laodamia fee 

In her Lord's arms expire as well as he ; 

Can view Alceftis, who with joy removes 

From earth, inftead of him fhe fo much loves ; 1545 

Can hear of bright Evadne, who in fires 

For her lov'd Capaneus prepaid, expires j 

When Virtue has itfelf a female name, 

So Truth, fo Goodnefb, Piety, and Fame ; 

Would headftrong fight, and would not conquerM be, 1550 

Or ftoop to fo much gencrofity ? 

'Tis not with fword, or fire, or ftrength of bow, 
That Female warriors to Uieir battle go : 
They have no ftratagem, or fubtile wile ; 

Their native innocence can ne'er beguile: i 55S 

The Fox's various maze, Bear's cruel den. 
They leave to fiercenefs and the craft of men. 
'Tvvas Jafon that transferr'd lus broken vows 
From kind Medea to another fpoufe : 

Thefeus left Gnoffis on the fands, to be 1560 

Prey to the birds, or monfters of the fea r 
Demophoon, nine times recall'd, forbore 
Return, and let his Phillis name the fhore. 
./Eneas wrackt, and hofpitably us'd, 

Fam'd for his piety, yet ftill refus'd 1565 

To ftay where lov'd, but left the dangerous fword 
By which fhe died to whom he broke his word. 
Piteous examples ! worthy better fate, 
If my inftruftions had not come too late : 

For then their art and prudence had retain'd 157* 

What hrft victorious rays of beauty gain'd. 
Whilft thus I thought, not without grief to find 
Dcfencelefs Virtue meet with fate unkind, 
Bright Cytherea's facred voice did reach 
My tingling ears, and thus fhe bad me teach : 1575 

> What had the harmlefs maid deferv'd from thee ? 
(' Thou haft given weapons to her enemy ; 
Whilft in the field fhe rnuft defencelefs ftand, 
f With want of fkill, and more unable hand. 
" Stefichorus, who would no fubjeft find 158* 

J? But harm to maid, vvas by the Gods ftruck blind : 

M But, 


" But, when his fong did with their glories rife, 

" He had his own reftor'd, to praii'e their eyes. 

fs Be rul'd by me, and arms defenfive give ; 

ff 'Tis by the Ladies favours you muft live." 7585 

She then one myftic leaf with berries four 
(Pluckt from her myrtle crown) bad me with fpeecl devour. 
I find the power infpir'd ; through purer fky 
My breath uiiiblves in verfe, to make young Lovers die. 
Here Modefty and Innocence fliall learn 159 

How they may truth from flattering fpeech difcern. 
But come with fpeed : lofe not the flying day. "] 

See how the crowding waves roll down away, f 

And neither, though at Love's command^ will flay. * 

Thefe waves and time we never can recal ; 1595 

But, as the minutes pafs, muft lofe them all. 
Npr like what's paft are days fuccecding good, 
But flide with warmth decay 'd and thicker blood. 
Flora, altliough a Goddefs, yet does fear 

The -change that grows with the declining year; 1609 

Whilft glittering fnakes, by cafting off their fkin ; 
Frefti courage gain, and life renew'd begin.. 
The Eagles caft their bills, the Stag its horn 5 
But Beauty to that blelUng is not born. 

Thus Nature prompts its ufe to forward Love, ?6o<j 

Grac'd by exarriples'of the Powers above. 
Endymion pierc'd the chafte Diana's heart, 
And cool Aurora fek Love's fiery dart. 


APerfon of. fome quality 

Happen'd, they fay, in Love to be 161* 

With one who held him by delay, 1 

Would neither fay him No nor Ay, f 

J^Jor would fhe have him go his way. J 

This Lady thought it beft to fend 

Vor fome experienc'U trufty frjenc!,. 1615 


To whom fhe might her mind impart, 

T' unchain her own, and bind his heart. 

A Tire-woman by occupation, 

A ufeful and a choice vocation. 

She faw all, heard all, never idle; $620 

Her ringers or her tongue would fiddle; 

Diverting with a kind of wit, 

Aiming at all woukl fometimes hit; 

Though in her fort of rambling way 

She many a ferious truth would fay. 3625 

Thus in much talk among the reft 

The oracle itfelf expreft : 

" I've heard fome cry, Well, I profefs 
" There's nothing to be gain'd by drefs 1 
*' They might as well fay that a field, J&3P 

" Uncultivated, yet would yield 
P As good a crop as that which {kill 
*' With utmoft diligence ihould till. 
f* Our vintage would be very fine, 

f If nbbody fhould prune their vine ! j$j, 

" Good fhape and air, it is confeft, 
*' Is given to fuch as Heaven has bleft ; 
f* But all folks have not the fame graces ; 
" There is diftinftion in our faces. 

" There was a time I'd not repine 1640 

f* For any thing amifs in mine, 
Which, though I fay it, ftill feems fairj 
" Thanks to my art as well as care ! A 
if Our grandmothers, they tell us, wore 
" Their Fardingale and their Bandore, 1645 

" Their Pinners, Forehead-cloth, and RufF, 
f Content with their own cloth and fluff; 
*' With Hats upon their pates like Hives, 
" Things might become fuch Soldiers wives ; 
(' Thought their own faces ftill would laft them 1650 

" In the fame mould which Nature caft them. 
." Dark Paper Buildings then rtood thick j 
" No Palaces of Stone or Brick : 
," And then, alas ! were no Exchanges : 
f? But fee how time and fabion changes I 1655 

4 "I hate 


" J hate old things and age. I fee, 
*' Thank Heaven, times good enough for me. 
** Your Goldfmiths now are mighty neat : 
" I love the air of Lombard -ftreet. 

" Whate'er a Ship from India brings, 1660 

" Pearls, Diamonds, Silks, are pretty things. 
" The Cabinet, the Screen, the Fan, 
' Pleafe me extremely, if Japan : 
" And, what affefts me rtill the more, 
/ They had none of them heretofore. 1665 

" When you're unmarried, never load ye 
" With Jewels ; they may incommode ye. 
** Lovers mayn't dare approach ; but moftly 
' They'll fear when married you'll be coftly. 
Fine Rings and Lockets beft are tried 167* 

' When given to you as a Bride. 
" In the mean time you fhew your fenfc 
" By going fine at fmall expence. 
* Sometimes your Hair you upwards furl, 
' Sometimes lay down in favourite curl. 1675 

* All inuft through twenty fidd lings pafs, 
" Which none can teach you. but your glafs. 
' Sometimes they inuft difhevel'd lie 
" OR neck of polifh'd ivory. 

" Sometimes with firings of pearl they're fix'd, 168* 

'* And the united beauty mix'd; 
" Or, when you won't their grace unfold, 
" Secure them with a bar of gold. 

" Humour and fafhions change each day ; ^ 

** Not birds in torefis, flowers in May, ? 

" Would fooner number 'd be than they. J 

*' There is a fort of negligence, 
" V/hich fome efteem, as excellence, 
" Your art with fo much art to hide, 

"That nothing of it be defcried; 1690 

" To make your carelefs treffes flow -i 

*,' With fo much air, that none mould know I 

" Whether they had been comb'd or no. J 

" But, in this fo negleftecl Hair, 

* Many a heart has found its fnare. 16^5 

it Nature 


V Nature indeed has kindly fent - 
f Us many things; more \ve invent: 
" Litile enough, as I may fay, 
*' To keep our Beauty from decay. 
" As leaves that with tierce winds engage, 
" Our curling .trefies fall with age. 
" But then by German herbs we find 
?' Colour, for locks to grey inciin'd. 
" Sometimes we purchafe hair ; and why ? 
*' Is not all that our own we buy ? 
, " You buy it publicly, fay they : 
" Why tell us that, when we don't pay. 
" Of French pomades the town is full : 
" Praife Heaven, no want of Spanifh Wool ! 
" Let them look flufht, let them look dead, 
" That can't afford the White and Red. 
" In Covent Garden you buy pofies, 
' There we our Lilies and our Rofes. 
"/Who would a charming Eyebrow lack, 
" Who can get any thing that's black ? 
" Let not thefe boxes open lie: 
" Some folks are too much given to pry, 
*' Art not difiembled would difgrace 
*' The purchas'd beauties of our face : 
' This if fuch perfons mould difcover, 
" 'T would rather lofe than gain a Lover. 
" Who is there now but underftands 
" Searcloths to flea the face or hands ? 
" Though the idea's not fo taking, 
" And the fkin feems but odd in making, 
" Yet, when 'twill with frefh luftre (nine, 
" Her fpark will tell you 'tis divine. 
" That Picture there your eye does ftrikej 
" It is the work of great Van Dyck, 
? Which by a Roman would be fainted : 
" What was't but canvas till 'twas painted ? 
" There's feveral things mould not be known : 
" O'er thcfe there is a curtain drawn, 
V 'Till 'tis their fcafon to be fhown. 






" Your door on fit oecafions keep '173$ 

tl Faft fhut : who knows but you're afleep ? 

M When our teeth, colour, hair, and eyes, -v 

** And what elfe at the toilet lies, I 

" Are all put on, we're faicl to rife. J 

** There was a Lady whom I knew, *1\* 

f> That muft be namelefs 'caufe 'tis true, 

" Who had the difmalleft mifchance 

** I've heard of fince I was in France : 
' " I do proteft, tlyj. thoughts of it 

** Have almoft put me in a fit. ' 1745 

" Old Lady MeanwelPs chamber-door, 

" Juft on the (lairs of the firft floor, 

** Stood open : and pray who fhould come, 

" But Knowall flouncing in the room ? 

"No fingle hair upon her head: 1751$ 

" I thought fhe would have fell down dead. 

*' At lail fhe found a cap of hair, 

" Which flic put on with fuch an air, 

" Tliat every lock was out of place, . 

" And all hung dangling down her face. >755 

" I would not mortify one fo, 

" Except fome twenty that I know. 

* Her carelcllnefs ami her defeft 

Were laid to Miftrefs Prue's negleft; 

<* And much ill-nature was betray'd ^769 

^' By noife and icokling with the inaid. 
-** The young look on fuch things as ftuff, 

.*< Thinking their bloom has art enough. 

" When finooth, we matter it not at all ; 

,** 'Tis whert the Thames is rough, we fqua\vl. ' 1755 

/' But whate'er 'tis may be pretended, 

** No face or lhape but may be mended. 

.*' All have our faults, and inufl abide them, 

" We therefore fliould take care to hide them. 

" You're (hort-; fit frill, you'll taller feem : 1770 

*' You're only fhorter from the {[cm. 
*' By loofev garb your Icannefs is conceal'd ; 
" By want of ftays the- groller ihapc reveal'd. 

< The 


*' The more the blemifhes upon the feet, 

* The greater care the lace and ihoes be neat. -775 

" Some backs and fides are wav'd like billows; 

" Tliele holes are beft made up with pillows. 

" Tlxick fingers always fhould command 

" Without the ftretching out the hand. 

*' Who has bad teeth fhould never fee 'i~*f 

" A play, unlefs a Tragedy. 

" For we can teach you how to fimper, 

" And when 'tis proper you Ihould wtiimpcr. 

*' Think that your grace and wit is now 
** Not in your laughing at a thing, but how. 'XT^J 

' Let room for fometlving more than breath Y/ * 

" Juft fhew the ends of milk-white teetlw 

" There is a je ri feat quay is found 

u In a foft fmootji aflfe&ed found : 

" But there's a (hricking crying tone, 179* 

Wliich I ne'er lik'd, when all is done : 

" And there are fome, who laugh like men* 

" As ne'er to fhut their mouths again ; 

" So very louxl and mal-propos, 
' " They feem like hautboys to a (how. **7^5 

" But now for the veverfe : 'tis fkill 

" To let your tears flow when you will. 

f* It. is of ufe when people dye; 

" Or elfe to have the fplecn, and cry, f 

*' Bccaufe you have no Rcafon why. J 

" Now for your talk Come, let me fee: 
jr.'.L."-' H ere lk >' our ^> ^ iere ^ r P yur T; 

" Defpife that R : your fpeech is better 

" Much for deftroying of one letter.. 

*' Now lifp, and have a fort of pride iSoj 

.' To feem as if your tongue were tied. 

" Thw is fuch a becoming fault, 

" Rather than want, it fhould be taugfif, 
'* And now that you have learnt to talk, 

" Pray let me fee if you can walk. i3i& 

" There's many dancing-mafters treat 

Of management of ladies fret. 



*< There's tome their mincing gait have chofe, 
" Treading without their heel or toes. 

" She that reads Ta(To f , or Malherbe S, 1815 

' Chufes a flep that is fupetbe, 
" Some giddy creatures, as if fhunnihg 
" Somtthing diflik'd, are always running, 
c ** Some prance like Frenchwomen, who ride 

" As our Life-guard-men, all aftride. iSzf> 

*' But each of thefe have decoration 
" According to their affectation, 
" That d'ance is grateful, and will pleafe, 
** Where all the motions glide with eafe. 
"We to the fkilful theatre 1825 

" This feeming want of art prefer. 
* " 'Tis no frnall art to give direction 
" How to fuit knots to each complexion, 
I . " How to adorn the breaft and head, 

" With blue, white, cherry, pink, or red. 1836 

" As the morn rifes, fo that day 

'' Wear purple, fky-colour, or grey r 

** Your black at Lent, your green in May^ 

*' Your filamot with leaves decay;. 

" All colours in the fummer (hine : 1835 

** The nymphs fhould be like gardens fine. 

f Torquato Tafib, the celebrated epic poet of Italy, was born March n } 
1544, and died April 25, 1595. His works have been often printed fepa- 
r^teiy at various places ; but the whole together, with his life, and feveral 
pieces for and againft his Gierufalemme Liberata, were printed at Flo- 
rence, 1724, infix vols. folio. The Englifh verfion of the " Jerufalem 
" Delivered," publiflied in 1763, by Mr. Hoole, in a vols. 8vo. will 
extend the fame of TafTo in this country. 

g Francis de Malherbs, confidered by his countrymen as the father of 
the French poetry, was born about 1555, and died in 1628. His poetical 
works, though divided into fix books-, make but a fmall volume. They 
crnfift of paraphrafes upon the Pfalms, odes, fonnets, and epigrams) and" 
were publiflied in feveral forms to the year 1666, when a very compleat 
edition of them came out at Paris, with the notes of M. Menage. Mal- 
herbe alfo tranflated fome works of Seneca, and fome books of Livy : By 
the manner in which TafTo and Malherbe are mentioned by Dr. King, 
they feem not to have been the mod fafiiionable authors of that age. Our 
Author ha tranflated what he calls " an admirable Ode of Malherbe/" 
which will be icfertsd in this Volume. 



** It is the fafhion now-a-days, 
" That almofl every Lady plays. 
" Ballet and Piquet grow to be 

" The fubjeft of our Comedy : f&yy 

" But whether we diverfion feek 
41 In thefe, in Comet, or in deck, 
" Or Ombre, where true judgement can 
" Difclofe the fentiments of man ; 

4< Let's have a care how we difcover, i^.- 

* Efpedally before a Lover, 
" Some paffions which we fliould conceal, 
" But heats of play too oft reveal. 
" For, be the matter fmall or great, 

" There's like abhorrence for a cheat. I 8^ 

" There's nothing fpoils a Woman's graces 
" Like peevimnefs and making faces : 
" Then angry words and rude difcourle, 
" You may be fure, become them worfe. 
" With hopes of gain, when we're befet, jj -^ 

" We do too commonly forget 
*' Such guards as fcreea us from thofe eyes 
" Which may obferve us, and defpife. 
" I'd burn the cards, rather than know 
" Of any of my friends did (b : i85 o 

' I've heard of fome fuch things j but I, 
< Thanks to my ftars, was nver by. 

" Thus we may pafs our time : the men > 

" A thoufand ways divert their fpleen, (. 

" Whilft we fit peeviflily within ,- \ 

" Hunting, cocking, racing, joaking, ' 
' Fuddling, fwimming, fencing, Imoaking : 
" And little thinking how poor we 
" Muft vent our fcandal o'er our tea. 

" I fee no reafon but we may 1870 

*' Be brifk, and equally as gay. 
" Whene'er our Gentlemen would range, 
" We'll take our chariot for the Changs : 
" If they're difpofing for the Play, 
We'll haften to the Opera : 1875 



" Or when they'll luftily caroufe, 
" We'll furely to the Indian Houfe r 
" And at fuch cofl whilft thus we roam> 
* For cheapnefs fake they'll ftay at home. 
'* Few wife mens thoughts e'er yet purfued l8S4> 

te That which their eyes had never view'd : 
** And fo our never being feen 
*< Is the fame thing as not t'have been* 
Grandeur itfelf and Poverty 

tf Were equal if no witnefs by r 1885 

" And they who always fing alone 
' Can ne'er be prais'd by more than one;. 
Had Danae been fhut up ft ill, 
** She'd been a Maid againft her will, 

' And might have grown prodigious old^ 4890 

" And nevar had her ftory told. 
" 'Tis fit fair maids fliou'cl run a-gadding 
' To fet the amourous Beaux a-madding. 
* To many a Sheep the Wolf has gone 
** Ere it can neatly feize on one, ^895 

" And many a Partridge fcapes away 
9t Before the Hawk can pounce its prey : 
** And fo, if pretty Damfels rove, 
*f They'll hnd out one perhaps may love j 
*' If they no diligence will fpare, 190* 

'* And in their dieffmg ftill take care. 
" The Fifl>er baits his hook all night, 
' In hopes by chance fome Eel may bite. 
" Each with their different grace appears^ 
" Virgins with blufli, Widows with tears, i^o^ 

" Which gain new Ilufbands tender-hearted, 
" To think how fuch a couple parted. 
" But then there are fome foppifli Beaux 
" Like us in all things but their cloaths. 
" That we may fcctn the more robuft, 19 19 

" And fittell to accofl them firft, 
'* With powdery paint, falfe locks, and hair, 
" They give thcmfelvcs.a female air; 
" Who, having all their tale by rote, 

And harping- ftill O n the fame note,. 791$ 



" Will tell us that, and nothing more 

" Than what a thoufand heard before. 

" Though they all marks of Love pretend, 

" There's nothing which they lefs intend : 

" And, 'midft a thoufand hideous oaths, 1910 

" With jewels falfe and borrow'd cloaths, 

" Our eafinefs may give belief 

" To one that is an errant thief." 

The fpark was coming ; flic undrcft 

Scuttles away as if pofleft. 1923 

The Governefs cries, " Where d'ye run r'* 
" Why, Madam, I've but juft begun." 
She bawls ; the other nothing hears, 
But leaves her prattling to the chairs. 

Virtue, without thefe little arts, *9j9 

At firft fubdues, then keeps, our hearts : 
And though more gracefully it fliows 
When it from lovely perfons flows ; 
Yet often Goodnefs moft prevails 

When Beauty in perfection fails. 1935 

Though every feature mayn't be well, 
Yet all together may excel. 
There's nothing but will cafy prove 
When all the reft's made up by Love. 


T7 I R G I N S fhould not unfkill'd in Mufic be ; 1940 

* For what's more like themfclves than Harmony ? 

Let not Vice ufe it only to betray, 

And Syrens by their Songs entice their prey. 

Let it with fcnte, with voice, and beauty join, 

Grateful to eyes and ear, and to the Mind Divine : 1945 

For there's a double grace when plcafing firings 

Are touch'd by her that more delightful lings. 

Thai Orpheus did the rage of dcicrts quell, 

And charm'd the monitrous instruments of Hell, 
VOL. III. N New 


New walls to Thebes Amphion thus began, 1950 

Whilft to the work officious marble ran. 

Thus with his harp and voice Anon rode 

On the mute Fifh. fafe through the rolling flood. 

Nor are the efTays of the Female wit 

Lefs charming in the verfcs they have writ. 1955 

From antient ages, Love has found the way 
Its bafliful thoughts by Letters to convey ; 
Which fometimcs run in fuch engaging irrairr, 
That pity makes the Fair write back again. 

What's thus intended, fome fmall time delay : J 96* . 

His paffion ftrengthens rather by our flay. 
Then with a cautious wit your pen wirh-hold, 
Left a too free expreflion make him bold. 
Create a mixture 'twixt his hope and fear, 

And in reproof let te.ndernd~s appear. 1965 

As he deferves it, give him hopes of life : 
A cruel Mitfrefs makes a frowr.rd Wife. 
Affect not foreign words : Love will impart 
A gentle ftyle more excellent than art. 

' Ailrea's h lines flow on with fo much eafe, 1970 

That fhe who writes like them muft furely plcafc. 
Orinda's ' works, with courtly graces flor'd, 
True fenfe in -nice exprclTions will afford : 


t> Aflrea was a nsme affumed by Mrs. A'phra Behn, a laciy well known 
in the gay and poetical world, in the licentious reign of King Charles II. 
She was Authorefs of feventeen Phy, Leiides two volumes of Novels, fe- 
veral Tranflations, and many Poems. She died April 1 6, 1689. Mr. 
Pope, fpeaking of her dramatic pieces, f<*ys, 

" The ftagc how loofely does Aftrea tread, 
" Who fairly puts all charailersto bed !" 

* Orinda, the poetical name of Mrs. Catharine Philips. She was the 
daughter of John Fowler, merchant, and born in London 1631 ; was mar- 
ried to James Philips, of the Pjiory of Cardigan, efq. about the year 
364,7; and died. in Fleet-fireet, in ths month of June, 1664. Her 
poems have been feveral times printed. She w^s alto the writer of a 
volume of Letters, publifhed many years after htr death, to Sir Charles 
Cotterel, intituled, " Letters fro:n Onnda to i'oliarchus ;" which have 
been admired. Mrs. Philips was as much famed for her fnendfiiip, as 
for her poetry : end hsd the good fortune to be cc;u<'.".y tftecftied by the 

be ft 


Whilft Chudleigh's k words feraphic thoughts exprefa 

In lofty grandeur, but without exccfs. 1975 

Oh, had not Beauty parts enough to wound, 

But it muft pierce us with Poetic found ! 

Whilft Phoebus fuffers female powers to tear 

Wreaths from his Daphne, which they juftly wear ! 

If greater things to leffer we compare, 19!$ 

The (kill of Love is like the art of War. 
The General fays, " Let him the Horfe command : 
" You by that Enfign, you that Cannon ftand : 
" Where danger calls, let t'other bring fupplies.'' 
With Pleafure all obey, in hopes to rife. 1985 

So, if you have a fervant fkill'd in Lawsj 
Send him with moving fpeech to plead your caufe; 
He that has' native unaffected voice, 
. In fmging what you bid him, will rejoice. 

And wealth, as beauty orders it, beitow'd, 199* 

Would make ev'n Mifers in expences proud. 
But they, o'er whom Apollo rules, have hearts ~J 

The moil fufceptible of Lovers fmarts, 
And like their God fo they feel Cupid's darts. 
The Gods and Kings are by their labour., praii'd, ( 1995 

And they again by them to honour rais'd. 
For none to Heaven or Majefty expreft 
Their duty well, but in return were blefl. 
Nor did the mighty Scipio think it fcorn 

That Ennius, in Calabrian Mountains born, iOfte 

His wars, retirements, councils, fhould attend, 
In all diftinguifli'd by the name of Friend. 
He that, for want of worlds to conquer, wept, 
Without confulting Homer never flept. 

beft poet and the beft divine of her age. Dr. Jeremy Taylor addrefTed his 
difcourfe " on the nature and effects of friend/hip" to this lady $ and Mr. 
Cowley has celebrated her memory, in an Ode preferved amonjft his 
Seleft Works." 

k This lady was daughter to Richard Lee, of Winflade, in the county 
of Devon, efq. She was born in the year 1656 ; became the wife of Sir 
George Chudleigh, of Afhton, in the faie county, bart. ; and died Dec. 
15, 1710. Her Poems were twice printed in her life-time in one volume, 
Svo j the fe<oad edition in 1709. 

N z Tfce 


The Poets' cares all terminate in fame ; 2005 

As they obtain, they give, a larting name. 

Thus from the dead Lucrece and Cynthia rife, 

And Berenice's hair adorns the Ikies. 

The facred Bard no treacherous craft difplays, 

But virtuous aftions crowns with his own bays. aoi 

Far from Ambition and Wealth's fordid care 

In him good-nature and content appear : 

And far from Courts, from ftudious parties free, 

He ilghs forth Laura's charms beneath fome tree ; 

Defpairing of the valued prize he loves, 20 15 

Commits his thoughts to winds and echoing groves. 

Poets have quick defire and paflion ftrong ; 
Where once it lights, there it continues long. 
They know that Truth is the perpetual band, 
By which the world and heaven of Love mud fland. io2 

The Poet's an foftens their tempers fo, 
That manners eafy as their verfcs flow. 
Oh could they but juft retribution find, 
And as themfelves what they adore be kind ! 
In vain they boaft of their celeftial fire, a0 2 5 

Whilft there remains a Heaven to which they can't afpire! 
Apelles firfl brought Venus to our view, 
With blooming charms and graces ever new, 
Who elfe unknown to mortals might remain 
Hid in the caverns of her native main : 2O3O 

And with the Painter now the Poets join 
To make the Mother and her Boy divine. 
Therefore attend, and from their mufick learn 
That which their minds infpir'd could bcft difccrn. 

Firft fee how Sidney J, then how Cowley mov'd, 203 c 

And with what ait it was that Waller r ' lov'd. 


J See an account of Sir PhUip Sidney, vol. II. p. 89. 
Mr. Abraham Co why was born in 1618 ; and died July 28 1667 
His Poetical Blofform," which are an abundant prcof of his talent for 
poetry, were generally regarded as an earncft of that fame to which he 
afterwards rofe, and which, in the opinion of fome of his contemporaries, 
edipfed tuat of every other Englift poet.-Cowley, who helped to corrupt 
the taft< of the age in which h, lived, and had himfelf been corrupted by 


Forget not Dorfct , in whofe generous mind 
Love, fcnfc, wit, honour, every grace combin'd : 


it, was a remarkable inftancc of true genius, feduced and perverted by falfe 
wit. But this wit, falfe as it was, raifed his reputation to a much higher 
pitch than that of Milton. There is a want of elegance in his words, 
and of harmony in his verification ; but this was more than atoned for 
by, his greatelt fault, the redundancy of his fancy. His Latin poems, 
which are elteemed the beft of his works, are written in the various mea- 
fures of the ancients, and have much of their unarYefted beauty. He was 
more fuccefsful in imitating the eafe and gaiety of Anacreon, than the 
bold and lofty flights of Pindar. His metaphor*, which are not only 
beyond, but contrary to nature, were generally admired in the reign of 
Charles II. To the merit of a good poet, may be added that of his being 
an admirable profe writer ; and his " Cutter of Coleman Street," a comedy 
which might even have claimed a place in the late judicious feleclion of 
his writings, where it is commended and the Preface to it preferred, i'. 
a ftriking inftance of dramatic merit. See Granger. 

" Edmund Waller, efq. born March 3, 1605 ; died Oft. I, 1687. He is 
commonly ftyled the Engliih Tibullus, and \vas the fitft who fliewed us cur 
tongue had beauty and numbers in it. The beft edition of his works is 
in 410, 1730, with elegant and ufeful notes by Mr. Fenton. Mr. Waller 
excelled all his predecelfors in harmonious verification. His love verfes 
have all the tendernefs and politenefs of the Reman poet he fo much re- 
fembled ; and his panepyrick on Cromwell has been ever efteemed a 
mafter-piece in its kind. His vein is never redundant, like that of 
Cowley : we frequently wi/h he had faid more, but never that he had faid 
lefs. His perfonal qualities were as am':ible as his poetical } and he \va$ 
equally formed to pleafc the witty and the fair. He not only retained all 
hi: faculties, but much of his ufual vivacity, at eighty years of his age. 

o Charles lord Buckhurfl,who v/.is created arl of Middlefex in the life- 
time of his father, April 4.. 1674, fuccce< ! cd to tlw earldom of Dorfet in 
Augult, 1677. This noble lord wasthe jurt admiration of the age he lived 
in. The fprightlinefs of his \vit recommended him to the efteem an4 
intimacy of King Charles II. He was a bountiful patron to poets and to 
men of parts ; and had a particular character for univerfal generofity. In ' 
the reign of James II, he atoned for the fillies of his youth, by a firm ad- 
herence to the Proteli ant religion ; for which he fliewed his concern, by 
conveying the princefs Anne into Derbyiliire, from vhe tumult of thole 
times; and, having been further inllrumental in the happy Revolution, 
was made lord chamberlain of the haufehold to king Williatn, and knight 
N 3 rf 


And if for me you one kind wifh would fpare, 
Answer a Poet to his friendly prayer. 2940 

Take Stepney's P verfe, with candour ever bleft; 
for Love will there ftill with his afhes reft. 
There let warm fpice and fragrant odours burn ? 
And everlafting fweets perfume his urn. 

Not that rhe living Mule is to be fcorn'd : 2045 

Britain with equal worth is ftill adorn'd. 
See Halifax 1, where fenfe and honour mixt 
Upon the merits juft reward have fixt : 
And read their works, who, writing in his praife, 
To their own verfe immortal laurels raife. 2050 


of the Carter. He had the honour of being appointed one of the lords 
juftices four years fucceffively; and died Jan. '29, 1705-6. His works, 
confifting chiefly of fprightly fongs, are printed with the Minor Poets. 

P George Stepney, efq. a man more famous as a Statefman than a Poet. 
He was born 1663, became acquainted at Cambridge with the celebrated 
Charles Montague, afterwards earl of Halifax ; and through his intereft 
was employed in feveral foreign negotiations, which he conducted with 
great reputation and fuccefs. He died in the year 1707, and was buried in 
XVeftminlter Abbey. His works are amongft thofe of the Minor Poets. 

1 Mr. Charles Montague was conftitutcd one of the lords commilTu'ners 
of the treafury, March 2, 1691-2 ; chancellor cf the exchequer, in May, 
1^94. The coin being exceedingly dsbafed and diminished, he formed the 
defign of calling in the money, and re- coining it, in 1695 ; and effected it 
in two years : to fupply the immediate want of calh, he r rojeded the 
ilTuing of exchequer bills. For this fervice, he had the thanks of the houfe 
cf commons in 1697. He was next year appointed firft lord commiffioner 
of the treafury ; and, refigning that ^oft in June 1700, obtained a grant of 
the office of auditor of the receipt of the exchequer ; and the fame year, 
Dec. 13, was created baron Halifax. On the accefiion of king George!, 
he was a member of the regency ; was appointed firft lord commiffioner of 
the treafury, Oct. 5, 1714 ; created vifcount Sunbury and earl of Halifax, 
Oft. 15; and died May 15, 1715. He was a magBificent patron of learn- 
ing ; and was himfelf an elegant writer, as may be fetn by his works in 
the Minor Poets. 

r Matthew Prior has been reputed a native of London ; but was born 
at Winburn in Dorfetfhire, July 21, 1664. (Hutchins's Hift. vol.11. 
P. 7V) His faihtr dying while he was very young, his uncle (a vintner 
near Charing Crofs) had the charge of him, fent him to Weftmirjfler 
Jjchoolj and afterward took him into his own bufine's. In this fituation, 


Learn Piior's r lines j for they can teach you more 
Than facred Ben s , or Spenfcr r , did before : 


he was accidentally diilinguifiied by Charles earl of Dorfet j who, deter- 
mining to place him in a fituation more fuited to his fine parts, fent him 
to St. J.,ha s s College, Cambridge, in 1682 ; where he proceeded bachelor 
of arts in 1686, and was fliortly after chofen fellow. At ihe univerfity, 
he contracted an intimate acquaintance with Mr. Charles Montague, af- 
terward earl of Halifax. On the Revolution, he was brought to court by 
his great patron the carl of Dorfet. In 1690, he was fccretary to the pleni- 
potentiaries at The Hague; and king William was fo fatisfied with his 
fen-ices, that, in the refolution to keep him near his perfon, he appointed 
him a gentleman of the bed-chamber. He was ag.;in employed as fecretary, 
at Ryfwick,ln 1697 ; having been the fame year nominated principal 
fecretary of ftate in Ireland. In 1697, he went fecretary to the earl of 
Portland, in his embafly to France. In 1699, he was made under-fecretary 
in the office of the earl of Jerfeyj and in a few days was ordered back to 
Paris, to afiiftthe ambafiador in the Partition-treaty j which hedifpatched 
to the fatisfaftion of both Sovereigns. In 1700, he was appointed one of 
the lords commiflioners for trade and plantations, and was elected member 
for Ea.ft Grinded. In 1704 and 1706, he exerted his poetical talent in 
honour of his country, on the fuccefsofher Majefty's arms. In July, 
171 1, he was employed in a fecret negotiation at Paris. In Auguft 1712, 
being fent again to France, to accommodate fuch matters as then remained 
unfettled in the congrefs at Utrecht, he had the honour of being prefented 
with the French king's picture fet with diamonds. From the end of that 
month, he had the appointment and authority of an ambaflador, till the 
death of the Queen ; and remained at Paris in a public character feme 
months after the accefiion of king George I. On his arrival in England, 
March 25,1715, he was taken intocuftody. In 1717, he was excepted 
out of the ac~l of grace ; and, at the clofe of that year, being difcharged 
from his confinement, retired from bufinefs, to Down Hall, in Effexj 
where he died, of a lingering fever, Sept. n, 1721. ' One Prior (fays 
" Bp. Burnet), who had been Jcrfey's fecretary, upon his death, was em- 
*' ployed to profecute that which the other did not live to finift. Prior 
-" had been a boy taken out of a tavern by the earl of Dorfet, who acci- 
* dentally found him reading Horace.". This ill-r.atured reflection pro- 
duced the following epigram by Mr. Dodfley, " Trifles," p. 24.1. 
(f One Prior ! and is this, this all the fame, 

" The Poet from th' Hiftorian can claim ? 

" No j Prior's verfe pofterity fhall quote, 

' When 'tis forgot one Bitrnet ever wrote.!" 
s See ferae account of Jonfon, vol. II. p. 89. 

N 4 * 


And mark him u well that uncouth Phyfick's art 

Can in the foitcft tune of Wit impart. 

See Paflorella o'er Florello's grave w , - 

Sec Tamerlane 35 make Bajazet his llavc ; "> 

And Phsedra y with her antient vigour rave. J 


t Edmund Sj>enfer, the celebrated author of the " Fairy Queen," fa- 
ther of the Englifh heroic peem, and of true paftoral poetry in England, 
\ born in London, and educated at Pembroke Hail, Cambridge; B. A. 
1572; M. A. 1576. His " Shepherd's Calendar," introducing him to 
that great judge of merit Sii Philip Sidney, raifed him from a fort of ob- 
fturity to the office of poet laureat to Eli/abeth ; but for fome time he 
only wore the barren laurel, without receiving any penfion. Burghky, it 
i* faid, prevented his receiving an hundred pounds which the queen in- 
tended for him. We rind him, however, in confiderable erteem with 
many eminent men in his time. He was fent abroad by Leicefter ; and 
was fecretary to Lord Grey of Wilton when deputy of Ireland. The 
queen alfo at lafl rewarded his fervices with a confiderable grant of lands 
in Ireland. In the Irilh rebellion under Defmond, he was plundered, and 
deprived of his eftate, and Jpent the latter part of his life with much grief of 
heart under the difappointnient of a broken fortune : he cied in 1598-9. 
Spenfer ftands difting'.iifhed from almoft all other poets in that faculty by 
\vhich a poet is diilinguilhed from other writers, namely, invention ; and 
excelled all his contemporaries in harmonious verification, 

n Dr. Samuel Garth, the celebrated author of " The Difpenfary," The 
iirft edition of this admirable poem came out in 1 694. 5 and it went through 
three impreffions in a few months. This extraordinary encouragement 
put him upon making feveral improvements in it; and in 1706, he pub- 
iilned the fourth edition, with ftveral additions. It was dedicated to 
Anthony Henley, efq. anil had commendatory verfes before it by Charles 
Ri.yle afterward e.irl of Orrery, Col. Chrift. Codrington, Thomas Cheeke, 
etij. and Co!. Henry Blount. Major Pack (Mifcell. p. 102.) obfcrvc-s, 
that " The Difpeufary had loll and gained in every edition ; almoft every 
* thing that Sir Samuel left out being a robbery from the publick, whilft 
" every thing lhat he added was an embelli/hment to his poem." On the 
-.-.cfcfivm of king George I, he had the honour of being knighted with 
the duke of Marlborough's fword. He died Jan. 18, 1718-19. H;s 
other pieces are pr nted in the collection of the Minor Poets. 

" Characters which the Editor acknowledges he does not recollect. 

* See Rowe's Play of Tamerlane. Mr. Nicholas Rowe was born in 
1673, was bred to the law, but feduced by the Mufes. Befades " Tanser- 
'Jane/' he wrote lix other usgedieE, a comedy, and fmral poems pub- 



Through Rapin's * nurferies and gardens walk, 

And find how Nymphs transformed by amorous colours talk. 

Pomona a fee with Milton's grandeur rife, 206* 

The moft delicious fruit of Paradife, 

With Apples might the firft-born man deceive, 

And more perfuafive voice than tempting Eve, 

Not to confine you here ; for many more 

Britain's luxuriant wealth has ftill in ftore, ic&t 

lifted in one volume under the title of " Mifcellaneous Works." He 

was appointed poet laureat on the accefiion of king George I ; and died 
Dec. 6, 1718. His translation of Lucan was not published till ten year* 
after his death ; but a fmall fpecimen of it, which was printed by Mr. 
Collins in 1713, underwent a fevere cenfure from Dr. Bentley, in his 
" Remarks on a Difcourfe on Freethinking." 

y Phsdra and Hippolitus, a Tragedy, by Edmund Smith, firft aded in 
1707. I's excellence confifts in the beauty and harmony of the verfifica- 
tion. It was honoureJ with a prologue by Mr. Addifon, to railly the tafte 
ot the pubiick for Italian operas. This ingenious poet was the Son of Mr. 
Keale; but, aflumed the name of Smith in compliment to an uncle whr 
was his guardian. He was born in 1686, and died in 1710. Me was* 
gootl-natuied man, a finished fcholar, a great poet, and a discerning critic, 
From an aft'e&ed carelefsnefs in drefs, he was diitinguiShed by his friend* 
,by the name of " Captain Rgg }" and was fiyled by the fair fex ' the 
" handfoine Sloven." His Works, confiding of the Tra- 
gedy, three or four odes, and a Latin oration, weic published by Mr. 
Oidifworth in 1719. 

z Rcnatus Rapin, a French Jefuit, born in 1621, died Oct. 17,1637, 
He published " Hortorum Libri Qiiatuor," a work \vhich has been much 
admired. An Englifh translation of it was published by Mr. Evelyn in 
1673 ; and another, in 1706, by James Gardener, M. A. of Jefus College, 

a John Philips, born Dec. 30, 1676, was educated at Chrift Church, 
Oxford. The firrt poem which distinguished him was his " Splendid 
" Shilling," which the author of the Taller flyles " the fineit burlefque 
" poem in the British language." His next was " Blenheim." The 
third, " Upon Cy<ier," founded upon the model of the Georgics, is .- 
very excellent piece in its kind, and has been translated into Italian by * 
Florentine nobleman. A Latin Ode to Mr. St. John, which is alfo a 
mailer-piece, completes his works. He died at Hereford, Feb. 15, 1708. 
He was one of thofe few poets whofe Mufe and manners were excellent 
and amiable j and >both were fo iu a very eminent degree. 



Whom would I number up, I muft outrun 
The longefl courfe of the laborious fuu. 


OU R manners like our countenance fhould be; 
They always candid, and the ether free : 

Bat, when our mind by anger is ported:, 2070 

Ournobls manhood is transform 'd to head. 
No feature then its wonted grace retains, 
When the blood blackens in the fwelling veins : 
The eye-balls fhoot out fiery darts would 1 kill 
Th'oppofer, if the Gorgon had its will. 2075 

When Pallas in a river faw the flute 
Deform'd her cheeks, flie let the reed be mute. 
Anger no more will mortify the face, 
Which in that pafiion once confults her glafs. 
Let Beauty ne'er be with this torment feiz'cl, aoSo 

But ever reft ferene, and ever pleas'd. 
A dark and fullcn brow feems to reprove 
The firfl advances that are made to Love, 
To which there's nothing more averfe than pride. 
Men without fpeaking often are denied : 2085 

And a diidainful look too oft reveals 
Thofe feeds of hatred which the tongue conceals. 
When eyes meet eyes, and fmiles to fmiles return, 
Tis then both hearts with equal ardour burn, 
And by their mutual paflion foon will know 2090 

That all are darfs, and fhot from Cupid's bow. 
But, when fome lovely form does ftrike your eyes, 
Be cautious ftill how you admit furprize. 
What you would love, with quick difcretion view : 
The object may deceive by being new. 2095 

You may fubmit to a tco hafty fate, 
And would fhake off the yoke when 'tis too late. 
We often into our deftruftion fink 
By not allowing t":me enough to think. 



Refift at firft : for help in vain we pray, aioo 

When ills have gainM full flrength by long delay. 

Be fpeecly ; left perhaps the growing hour 

Put what is now within, beyond our power. 

Love, as a fire in cities finds encreafe,- 

I'roc^c'.is, and till the whole's deflroy'd won't ceafe j 2105 

It with allurements does, like rivers, rife 

From little fprings, enlarg'd by vafl fupplies. 

Had Myrrha kept this guard, fhe had not flood 

A monumental crime in weeping wood. 

Becaufe that Love is pleafing" in its pain, an 

We not without reluctance health obtain. 

Phyfick may tarry till to-morrow's fun, 

Whilft the curs'd poifons through the vitals run. 

The tree not to be fhook has picrc'd the ground, 

And death muft follow the neglected wound. 2115 

O'er different ages Love bears different fway, 
Takes various turns to make all forts obey. 
The Colt unback'd we footh with gentle trace : 
We feed the Runner deftin'd for the race; 

And 'tis with time and mailers we prepare ZIJQ 

The manag'd Courfers rufhipg to the war. 
Ambitious Youth will have fome fparks of pride, 
And not without impatience be denied. 
If to his Love a Rival you afford, 

You then prefent a trial for his fword : 112$ 

His eager warmth difdains to be perplext, 
And rambles to the beauty that is next. 
Maturcr years proceed with care and fenfe, 
And, as they feklom give, fo feldom take offence : 
For he that knows refiftancc is in vain, 213* 

Knows likcwifc ftruggling will increafe his pain. 
Like wood that's lately cut in Paphian Grove, 
Time makes him a fit facrifice for Love. 
By flow degrees he fans the gentle fire, 

Till perfeverance makes the flame afpire. 4135 

This Love's more fure, the other is more gay ; 
But then he roves, whilfl this is forc'd to flay. 
There are fome tempers which you muft oblige, 
Not by a quick furrender, but a fiege; 

3 That 


That moft are pleas'd, when driven to dcfpair *H* 

By what they're pleas'd to call a cruel fair. 
They think, unlefs their ufage has been hard, 
Their conqueft lofes part of its reward. 
Thus fome raife fpleen from their abounding wealth, 
And, clog'd with fweets, from acids feek their health. 4145 

And many, a boat does its deftruftion find 
By having fcanty fails, too full of wind. 
Is it not treachery to declare 

The feeble parts we have in war? 

Is it not folly to afford 3150 

Our enemy a naked fword ? 

Yet 'tis my weaknefs to confcfs 

What puts men often in diftrefs : 

But then it is fuch Beaux b as be 

Pofleft with fo much vanity, 2155 

To think that wherefoe'er they turn 

Whoever looks on them muft burn. 

What they defire they think is true, 

With fmall encouragement from you. 

They will a fmgle look improve, ti6o 

And take civilities for love. 

" We ail expected you at play : 

'' Was't not a Miftrefs made you flay?" 

The Beau is fir'd, cries, " Now I find 

" I out of pity muft be kind: 8.165 

" She figh'd, impatient tiU I came." 

Thus, foaring to the lively flame, 

We fee the vain ambitious Fly 
{Scorch its gay wings, then unregarded die. 

b It is obvious that this word conveys at prefent a very different idea 
from its original fignification j which was plainly that of an accotuj'l'ifljtd 
gentleman. How different are the manly Beaux of Farquhar from the 
prefent Macaronics ! and how many intermediate gradations have arifen 
between them ! The genuine Beau appears to have been corrupted by a ferviJe 
imitation of that ludicrous character the pitit-maitre of our neighbour 
nation } a title aftcfted by fuch of that vain people as had no other, in 
humble emulation of their grand- ir.altre, Louis the Fourteenth. From 
theft came the Lord Foppingtons and Sir Harry WUdairs 5 and from them 
.^generated by degrees the Frxbbk and the Macarony ! 

* Bet* 

Both fexes have their jealoufy, 2170 

And ways to gain their ends thereby, 
But oftentimes too quick belief 
Has given a fucklen vent to grief, 
Occafion'd by fome perfons lying, 

To fet an eafy wife a-crying: 4175 

And Procris long ago, alas ! 
Experienced this unhappy cafe. 

There is a Mount, Hymettus ftyl'd, 
Where Pinks and Rofemary are wild, 
Where Strawberries and Myrtles grow, iiSo 

And Violets make a purple fhow ; 
Where the fweet Bays and Laurel Ihinc, 
All (haded by the lofty Pine ; 
Where Zephyrs, with their wanton motion, 
Have all the leaves at their devotion. 2185 

Here Cephalus, who Hunting lov'd, 
When dogs and men were both remov'd, 
And all his dufty labour done, 
In the meridian of the fun, 

Into fome fecret hedge would creep, 2190 

And fmg, and hum himfelf afleep. 
But commonly being hot and dry, 
He thus would for fome cooler cry : 
" O now, if fome 

"Cooler would come! 2195 

Deareft, rareft, 
" Lovelieft, faireft, 
" Cooler, come ! 

"Oh, AIR, 

" Frefh and rare ; 2100 

" Deareft, rareft, 
" Lovelieft, faireft, 

" Cooler, come ; Cooler, come ; Cooler, com* '." 
A Woman, that had heard him fing, 

Soon had her malice on the wing : 2205 

For Females ufually don't want 
A Fellow Goffip that will cant ; 
Who ftill is pleas'd with others ails, 
And therefore carries fpiteful talcs. 



She thought that fhe might raife fome flrife 2210 

By telling fomething to his Wife : 

That once upon a time fhe flood 

In fuch a place, in fuch a wood, 

On fuch a day, and fuch a year, 

There did, at lealt there did appear 2215 

('Caufe for the world fhe would not lie, 

As fhe muft tell her by the bye) 

Her Hufband ; firft more loudly bauling, 

And afterwards more fofcly calling 

A perfon not of the beft fame, 2220 

And Miftrefs Cooler was her name. 

Now, Gofiip, why fhould fhe come thither ? 

" But that they might be naught together?" 

When Cris heard all, her colour turn'd, 

And though her heart within her burn'd, . 2225 

And eyeballs fent forth fudden flafhes ; 

Her cheeks and lips were pale as afhes. 

Then, " Woe the day that fhe was born !" 

The nightrail innocent way torn : 

Many a thump was given the breaft, 2230 

" And fhe, oh, fhe fhould never reft : 

" She ftrait would heigh her to the wood, 

And he'd repent it that he fhould." 

With eager hafte away fhe moves, 

Never regarding fcarf or gloves : 21 35 

Into the grotto foon fhe creeps, 

And into every thicket peeps, 

And to her eyes there did appear 

Two prints of bodies that was clear : , 

* c And now (fhe cries) I plainly fee 224* 

" How time and place, and all agree : 

" But here's a covert where I'll lie, 

* And I fhallhave them by and by." 

'Twas noon ; and Cephalus, as laft time, 
Heated and ruffled with his paftime, 2245 

Came to the very felf-fame place 
Where he was us'd to wafh his face j 
And then he fung, and then he hum'd, 
And on his knee with fingers thrum'd, 



When Criily found all matters fair, azjo 

And that lie only wanted Air ; 

Saw what device was took to fool her, 

And no fuch one as Miftrefs Cooler. 

Miftrufting then no future harms, 

She would have rufh'd into his arms. 22? j 

But, as the leaves began to ruftle, 

He thought fome beaft had made the buftle. 

He Ihot, then cried, " I've kill'd my Deer." 

" Ay, fo you have," (fays Cris) " I fear." 1 

" Why, Crifly, pray what made you here ?" J 

" By GolTip Trot, I undcrftood 

" You kept a fir.all Girl in this wood." 

Quoth Ccph, " 'Tis pity thou fhould'ft die 

" For this thy foolifh jealoufy : 

" For 'tis a paflion that does move 314&J 

" Too often from excefs of love." 

But, when they fought for wound full fore, 

The petticoat was only tore, 

And Cie had got a lufty thump, 

Which in fome mcafure bruis'd her rump. 22^9 

Then home moft lovingly they went: 

Neither had reafon to repent. I 

Their following years pafs'd in content; J 

And Crifly made him the heft wife 

For the remainder of his life. -22?i 

The Mufe has done, nor will more laws obtrude, 
Left fhe, by being tedious, fhould be rude. 
Unbrace Love's fwans, let them unharnefs'd ftray, 
And eat Ambrofia through the milky way. 

Give liberty to every Paphian Dove, ia"3s 

And let them freely with the Cupids rove. 
But, when the Amazonian trophies rife 
With monuments of their paft victories; 
With what difcrction and what art they fought : 
Let them record, " They were by OVID taught." azSj 














C '95 ] 


A very Innocent and Harmlefs P O E M % 

Firft printed in 1699. 


THE Author of the following Poem may be thought to write 
for fame, and the applaufe of the town : but he wholly 
clifowns it ; for he writes only for the public good, the benefit of 
his country, and the manufacture of England. It is well known, 
that grave Senators have often, at the Palace-yard, refrcfhcd 
themfelves with Barley-broth in a morning, which has had a 
very folid influence on their cqunfels ; it is therefore hoped that 
other perfons may ufe it with the like fuccefs. No man can be 
ignorant, how of late years Coffee and Tea in a morning has 
prevailed; nay, Cold Waters have obtained their commendation, 
and Wells are fprung up from Acloti to Iftington, and crofs the 
water to Lambeth. Thefe liquors have feveral eminent cham- 
pions of all profefTions. But there have not been wanting perfons, 
in all ages, that have fhewn a true love for their country, and the 
proper diet of it, as Water-gruel, Milk-porridge, Rice-milk, 
and 'efpecially Furmetry both with Plums and without.. To this 
end, feveral worthy perfons have encouraged the eating fuch 
\vholefome diet in a morning ; and, that the poor may be pro-, 
viclecl, they have delired feveral Matrons to fland at Smithfi'eld- 

a " The Furmetary" was written to pleafe a Gentleman, who thought 
nothing fmooth or lofty could be written upon a mean fubjecl ; but had 
no intent of making any reflection upon " The Difpenfary," which has 
defervedly giined a lifting reputation. Dr. King's Preface to his Mifcel- 
lauies. See ao account of Sir Samuel Garth above, p. 184. 

O i bars, 


t>ars, Lea4en-Hall-market, Stocks-market, and divers other noted 
places in the City, efpecially at Fleet-ditch ; there to difpenje 
Furmetry to labouring people, and the poor, at reafonable rates, 
at three-half-pence and two-pence a dilh, which is nof dear, the 
Plums being confklered. 

The places are generally ftiled Furmetaries., because that food 
has got the general eileem ; but that at Fleet-ditch I take to be 
one of the moft remarkable, and therefore I have ftyled it " The 
' Furmetary :" and could eafily have had a certificate of the ufe- 
fulnefs of this Furmetary, figned by feveral eminent Carmen, 
Gardeners, Journeymen Taylors, and Balket-women, who have 
promifed to contribute to the maintenance of the fame, in cafe the 
Coffee-houfes fhould proceed to oppofe it. 

I have thought this a very proper fubject for an Heroic Poem ; 
and endeavoured to be as fmooth in my verfe, and as inoffenfive 
in my characters, as was pofiible. It is my cafe with Lucretius, 
that I write upon a fubjeft not treated of by the Ancients. But, 
" the greater labour, the greater glory." 

Virgil had a Homer to imitate ; but I ftand upon my own legs, 
without any fupport from abroad. I therefore fhall have more 
occafion for the Reader's favour, who, from the kind acceptance 
pf this, may expect the defcription of other Furmetaries about 
this City, from his moft humble fervant, 



NO fooner did the grey-ey'd Morning peep, 
And yawning mortals ftretch themfelves from flcep } 
Finders pf gold were now but newly part, 
And Bafket-women did to Market hafte ; 

The Watchmen were but juft returning home, * 

To give the Thieves more liberty to roam ; 
When from a hill, by growing beams of light, 
A (lately pile was offer'd to the fight ; 
Three fpacious doors let pafTengers go through 
And diftant flones did terminate their view : , 


^uft here, as ancient Poets fing, there flood, 

The noble palace of the valiant Lud ; 

His image now appears in Portland ftone, 

Each fide fupported by a god -like fon b . 

But, underneath, all the three heroes fhine> ~l 

In living colours, drawn upon a fign> r 

Which fhews the way to Ale, but not to Wine. ^ 

Near is a place enclos'd with iron-bars, 
Where many mortals curfe their cruel ftars, 
When brought by Ufuiers into diftrefs, * 

For having little, ftill muft live on lefs : 
Stern Avarice there keeps the rclentlefs door> 
And bids each wretch eternally be podr. 
Hence Hunger rifes, difmally he flalks, 

And takes each (ingle prifoner in his walks . it; 

This duty done, the meager monftr flares, 
Holds up his bones$ and thus begins his prayers : 

" Thou, Goddefs Famine, that canft fend us blights^ 
*' With parching heat by day, and ftorm by nights, 
*' Aflift me now : fo may all lands be thine, 3 

'^ And Ihoals Of orphans at thy altars pine : 
** Long may thy reign continue on each more, 
" Where-ever Peace and Plenty reign'd before ! 
" I muft confefs, that to thy gracious hand* 
' I widows owe, that are at my command ; 35 

fc As Dr. King's dcfcriptlon of Ludgate, though familiar to the prefent 
tge, will be lefs intelligible to the rifing generation, it may not be impro- 
per to obferve, that its name, which Geortry of Monmonth has afcribed 
to King Lud, was with greater propriety derived from its fituation near 
the rivulet Flud, or Fleet, which ran near it. So early as 1373, Ludgate 
was conftituted a prifon for poor debtors who were free of the city j and 
was greatly enlarged in 1454, by Sir Stephen Forfter, who, from having 
been himfelf confined there, became lord mayor of London, and eftabliflied 
feveral benevolent regulations for its government. The old gate becoming 
ruinous, an elegant building, as above defcribed by Dr. King, was erected 
in 1586, with the ftatue of Queen Elizabeth on the Weft front, and thofe 
of the pretended King Lud and his two fons on the Eaft. This was pulled 
down in 1760, and the ftatue of Elizabeth placed igainft the church of St. 
Dunftan in the Weft; Since that time, the city debtors have been con- 
fined in a put of the London workhoufe in BiJhopfgatc flreet. 

O 3 "I joy 

S9 8 T H E F IT R M E T A R Y. 

44 I joy to hear their numerous childrens cries j 

" And blefs thy power, to find they've no fupplies. 

" I thank thee for thofe Martyrs, who would flee 

" From fuperftitious rites and tyranny, 

*' And find their fullnefs of reward in me. 

44 But 'tis with much humility I own, 

" That generous favour you have lately fhown, 

" When men, that bravely have their country ferv'tl, T 

Receiv'd the juft reward that they deferv'd, f 

" And are preferr'd to me, and (hall be ftarv'd. * 

4< I can, but with regret, I can clefpife, 

*' Innumerable of the London cries : 

" When Peafe, and Mackarel, with their hariher found, 

" The tender organs of my ears confound j 

44 But that which makes my projects all mifcarry, 5* 

44 Is this inhuman, fatal FURMETARY. 

14 Not far from hence, juft by the Bridge of Fleet. 
" With Spoons and Porringers, and Napkin neat, 
" A faithlefs Syren does entice the fenfe, -. 

41 By fumes of viands, which fhe does difpenfe, > 

*' To mortal ftomachs, for rewarding pence. J 

Whilft each man's earlieft thoughts would banifh me, 
" Who have no other oracle but thce," 


WHILST fuch-like prayers keen Hunger would advance, 
Fainting and weaknefs threw him in a trance : 6 

"Famine took pity on her careful flave, 
And kindly to him this afiiftance gave. 
She took the figure of a thin parch'd Maid, 
Who many years had for a Hufband {laid ; 
And, coming near to Hunger, thus fhc faicl : 

44 My darling fon, whilft Peace and Plenty fmile, 
'* And Happinefs would over-run this ifle, 
" I joy to fee, by this thy prefent care, 
4 * I've ftill feme Friends remaining fince the war : 


" Pleafant, good-humour'd, beautiful, and gay> 

" Sometimes with mufick, and fometimes with play, 


" In fpite of us, A does on Venifon feed, 70 

" And Bread and Butter is for B decreed ; 
"CD combines with E F's generous foul, 
" To pafs their minutes with the fparkling bowl, 
" H, I's good-nature, from his endlefs flore, 
" Is ftill conferring bleflings on the poor, 
" For none, except 'tis K, regards them more. 
" L, M, N, O, P, Q^, is vainly great, 
" And fquanders half his fubftance in a treat : 
" Nice eating by R, S, is underftood, 
" T's fupper, though but little, yet is good j 
*' U's converfation's equal to his wine; 
" You fup with W, whene'er you dine : 
" X, Y, and Z, hating to be confin'd, 
Ramble to the next Eating-houfe they find. 


' Prolong their pleafures till th'approaching day. J 

AND PER SE AND alone, as Poets ufe, 

' The ftarving dictates of my rules purfues ; 

' No fwingtng coachman does afore him fliine, 

1 Nor has he any conftant place to dine, 
" But all his notions of a meal are mine. 
" Hafte, hafte, to him, a blefling give from me, 
And bid him write (harp things on FuRMETRY? 
" But I would have thee to CofFedro go, 
< And let Tobacco too thy bufmefs know ; 
With famous Teedrums in this cafe advi(e, 
4< Rely on Sagoe, who u always wife : 
" Amidft fuch counfel, banifli all defpair ; 
" Truft me, you lhall fucceed in this affair : r ,,jl 

That projeft which they FURMETARY call, 
u Before next Breakfaft-time (hall furely fall !" 

This faid, fhe quickly vanifh'd in a wind 
Had long within her body been confin'd : 
Thus Hercules, when he his miftrefs found, i* 

Soon knew her by her fcent, and by her found. 




HUNGER rejoic'tftohear the Weft command,. 
That FURMETARY mould no longer fland; 
With fpecd he to Coffedro's manfion flies, 
And bids the pale-fac'd mortal quickly rife. itv 

" Arife, my friend ; for upon thee do wait 
Difmal events and prodigies of Fate ! J 

' 'Tis break of day r thy footy broth prepare, 
" And all thy other liquors for a war : 

** Roufe up Tobacco, whofe delicious fight, ~\ 

" Illuminated round with beams of light, > 

' To my impatient mind will caufe delight. J 

4< How will he conquer noftrils that prefume 
To ftand th* attack of his impetuous fume T' 
" Let handfome Teedrums too be call'd to arms* 12* 

** For he has courage in the midft of charms : 
** Sagoe with counfel fills his wakeful brains, 
41 But then his wifdbm countervails his pains r 
'Tis he (hall be your guide, he mall effeft 
" That glorious conqueft which we all expeft : 125 

** The brave Hectorvus mail command this force ; 1 

** He'll meet Tubcarrio's Foot, or, which is worfe, f 

** Oppofe the fury of Carmanniel's Horfe. 
' For his reward, this he mall have each day, 
Drink Cofee, then fir ut out, and never pay.'* ije 

It was not long e'er the Grandees were met, 
And round news-papers in full order fet j 
Then Sagoe, riling, faid, " I hope you hear 
" Hunger's advice with an obedient ear j 

" Our great dcfign admits of no delay, 135 

" Famine commands, and we muft all obey ; 
* That Syren which does FURMETARY keep 
*' Long fmce is rifen from the bands of fleep ; 
" Her Spoons and Porringers wkh art difplay'd, 
" Many of Hunger's fubjefts have betray'd." 140 

" To arms," Heftorvus cried : " Coftedro ftotU, 
A IfTuc forth liquor from thy fcal^ing fpout 1" 



Great One-and-all-i gives the firft alarms i 
Then each man (hatches up offenfive arms. 

To Ditch of Fleet courageoufly they run, j^ 

Quicker than thought ; the battle is begun : 
Heftorvus firft Tubcarrio does attack, 
And by furprize foon lays him on his back j 
Thirftoand Drowtho then, approaching near, 
Soon overthrow two magazines of Beer. j *$ 

The innocent Syrena little thought 
That all thefe arms againft herfelf were brought j 
Nor that in her defence the drink was fpilt : 
How could fhe fear, that never yet knew guilt ? 
Her fragrant Juice, and her delicious Plums, j^* 

She does difpenfe (with gold upon her thumbs >r I 
Virgins and Youths around her flood ; fhe fate, 
Environ'd with a Wooden-chair of ftate. 

In the mean time, Tobacco ftrives to vex 

A numerous fquadron of the tender fex ; ifa 

What with ftrong fmoak, and with his ftronger breath, 
He funks Balked a and her fon to death. 

Coffedro then, with Teedrums and the baud 
Who carried fcalding liquors in their hand, 
Throw watery ammunition in their eyes ; $65 

On which Syrena's party frighten'd flies : 
Carmannio ftraight drives up a bulwark ftrong, 
And horfe oppofes to Coffedro's throng. 
Colcdrivio ftandi for bright Syrena's guard, 
And all her rallied Forces are prepar'd; >y$ 

Carmannio then to Teedrum's fquadron makes, 
And the lean mortal by the buttons takes j 
Not Teedrum's arts Carmannio could bcfcech, 
But his rough valour throws him in the ditch* 
Syrena, though furpriz'd, refolv'd to be J^J 

The great Bonduca of her FURMETRYI 
Before her throne courageoufly fhe ftands, 
Managing ladles-full with both her hands. 
The numerous Plums like hail-fhot flew about, 
And Plenty foon difpers'd die meagre rout. i$9 

So have I feen, at Fair that's nam'd from Horn, 
Many aJLadlc's. blow by Prentice borne $. 


In vain he frrives their paJTions to afluage, 

With threats would frighten ; with foft words engage j 

Until, through Milky gauntlet fountlly beat, i$* 

His prudent heels fecure a quick retreat. 

us exegi, quod nee Jovis ira nee ignis, 
Me potent ferrum, nee edax abolere vetujlas I 



Firft printed by the Author in r 704. 


MO U N T O W N * ! tliou fweet retreat from Dublin cares, 
Be famous for thy Apples and thy Pears ; 
For Turnips, Carrots, Lettuce, Beans, and Peafe ; 
For Peggy's Butter, and for Peggy's Cheefe. * 

May clouds of Pigeons round about thee fly } 
But condefcend fometitnes to make a Pye. 
May fat Geefe gaggle with melodious voice, 

And ne'er want Goofeberries or Apple-fauce : 40 

Ducks in thy Ponds, and Chicken in thy Pens, 
And be thy Turkeys numerous as thy Hens: 
May thy black Pigs lie warm in little ftye, 
And have no thought to grieve them till they die. 
Mountown ! the Mufes' mod delicious theme ; ft 

Oh ! may thy Codlins ever fwim in Cream I 
Thy Rafp- and Straw-berries in Bourdeaux drown, 
To add a redder tincture to their own ! 
Thy White-wine, Sugar, Milk, together club, 
To make that gentle viand Syllabub . so 

It was taken for a State Poem, and to have many myfterics in it j 
though it was only made, as well as " Orpheus and Eurydicc," for country 
diverfion. Dr. King's Preface to his Mii'cellan.'ts. 

d A pleafant villa to the South of Dublin, near the fea. 
e " Peace to thy gentle made, fweet-fmiling Henniver !" would 
have been our Author's ejaculation, if he had lived in 1775; when 
the admirers of this " gentle viand" lamented the irreparable lofs of the 
foundrefs of the Laftarium. 

Lac mlbi Jion aftatt tiovittft, nonfrigore dcjit ; 
" My milk in fummer's drought, nor winter falls; 

was the Matron's invitation to the publick j whilfl her happy cottage 
presented the Hvelieft reflection of its benignant owner : 
S^uam divet ficoris nivei, quam lefiit abundant ! 
" What lufcious milk, what rural ftores are mine !** 


*04 MULLY OF M O U N T O W & 

Thy Tarts to Tans, Cheefe-cakes to Cheefe-cakes join, 

To fpoil the relifh of the flowing Wine. 

But to the fading palate bring relief, 

By thy Weftphalian Ham, or BelgicBeef ; 

And, to complete thy bleflings in a word, it 

May ftill thy foil be generous as its Lord f ' I 


Oh ! Peggy, Peggy, when thou goefl to brew, 
Confider well what you're about to do ; 
Be very wife, very fedatcly think 

That what you're going now to make is drink : 30 

Confider who muft drink that drink, and then, 
What 'tis to have the praife of honefl men i 
For furely, Peggy, while that drink does laft, 
'Tis Peggy will be toajled or difgrac'd. 

Then, if thy Ale inglafs thou would'ft confine, 35 

To make its fparkling rays in beauty fhine, 
Let thy clean Bottle be entirely dry, ^ 

Left a white fubflance to the furface fly, I 

And, floating there, difturb the curious eye. 

But this great maxim muft be unclerftood, 40 

" Be fure, nay very fure, thy cork be good !" 
Then future ages (hall of Peggy tell, 
That Nymph that breiv'd and bottled A\c fo well. 


How fleet is air ! how many things have breath 
Which in a moment they refign to death ; 45 

Depriv'd of light, and all their happieft ftate, 
Not by their fault, but fome o'er-ruling Fate ! 
Although fair flowers, that juftly might invite, 
Are cropt, nay torn away for man's delight j 
Yet ftill thofe flowers, alas ! can make no moan, 50 

Nor has NarcifTus now a power to groan ! 
But all thofe things which breathe in different frame, 
By tie of common breath, man's pity claim. 
A gentle Lamb has rhetorick to plead, S 

And, when Ihe fees the Butcher's knife decreed, (. 

Her voice intreats him not to make her bleed f J 

f Judge U r ton, j u t 


But cruel gain, and luxury of tafte, 

With pride, ftill lays man's fellow-mortals wade: 

What earth and waters breed, or air infpires, 

Man for his palate fits by torturing fires. (O 

MULLY, a Cow fprung from a beauteous race, 
With fpreading front, did Mountown's paftures grace. 
Gentle (he was, and, with a gentle ftream, 
Each morn and night gave Milk that equal'd Cream, 
Offending none, of none flie ftood in dread, $5 

Much lefs of perfons which flie daily fedt 
" But Innocence cannot itfelf defend, 
*' 'Gainft treacherous arts, veil'd with the name of Friend." 

ROBIN of Derby-lhire, whofe temper fhocks 
The conftitution of his native rocks ; 70 

Born in a place S, which, if it once be nam'd, 
Would make a bluming modefty afliam'd : 
He with indulgence kindly did appear 
To make poor Mully his peculiar care, 

But inwardly this iullen churlim thief 75 

Had all his mind plac'd upon Mully's Beef; 
His fancy fed on her, and thus he'd cry, 
" Mully, as fure as I'm alive, you die ! 
*' 'Tis a brave Cow, O, Sirs, when Chriftmas comes, 
f f Thefe Shins fliall make the Porridge grac'd with Plums, Sa 
" Then, midll our cups, whilft we profufely dine, 
" This blade mall enter deep in Mully's Chine, 
^ What Ribs, what Rumps, what bak'd, boil'd, ftew'd, androaft ! 
" There fhan't one fmgle Tripe of her be loft !" 

When Peggy, Nymph of Mountown, heard thefe founds> 85 
She griev'd to hear of Mully's future wounds. 
." What crime/' faid me, " has gentle Mully done ? 
" Witnefs the rifing and the letting Sun, 
" That knows what Milk Ihe conftantly would give ! 
M Let that quench Robin's rage, and Mully live." 9* 

Daniel, a ipi ightly Swain, that us'd to flam 
The vigorous Steeds that drew his Lord's calafh, 

g The Devil's Arfe of Peak ; defcribed by Hobbes in a poem " DC 
. Mirabilibus Pecci," the beft of his poetical performances. Sec an *c- 
cunt of Hobbes, vol. II. p. 142. 


20 6 M U L L Y O F M O U N T O W N, 

To Peggy's fide inclin'd, for 'twas well known 
How well he lov'd thofe Cattle of his own. 

Then Terence fpoke, oraculous and fly, 
HcM neither grant the queftion'nor deny; 
Pleading for Milk, his thoughts were on Mince-pye : 
But all his arguments fo dubious were, 
That Mully thence had neither hopes nor fear. 

" You've fpoke," fays Robin } " but now, let me tell ye, 
* 'Tis not fair fpoken words that fill the belly ; 
" Pudding and Beef I love ; and cannot floop 
* To recommend your bonny-clapper Soup ; 
" You fay fhe's innocent : but whac of that ? 
Tis more than crime fufficient that (he's fat { 
*' And that which is prevailing in this cafe 
** Is, there's another Cow to fill her place. 
" And, granting Mully to have Milk in ftore, 
** Yet ftill this other Cow will give us more. 
* She dies." Stop here, my Mufe : forbear the reft : 
Aad veil that gruf which cannot be expreft ! 


C *? 1 


Firft printed by the Author in 1704. 

AS Poets fay, one Orpheus went 
To Hell upon an odd intent, 
Firft tell the ftory, then let's know, 
If any one will do fo now. 

This Orpheus was a jolly boy, ij 

Born long before the Siege of Troy ; 
His parents found the lad was (harp, 
And taught him on the Irifli Harp ; 
And, when grown fit for marriage life, 
Gave him Eurydice for wife, t 

And they, as foon as match was made, 
Set up the Ballad-fingvng trade. 

The cunning varlet could devife, 
For country folks, ten thoufand lies ; 

Affirming all thofe monftrous things 15 

Were done by force of harp and firings ; 
Could make a Tiger in a trice 
Tame as a Cat, and catch your Mice j 
Could make a Lion's cfturage flag, 

And ftraight could animate a Stag, t 

And, by the help of pleating ditties, 
Make Mill-ftones run, and build up Cities ; 
Each had the ufe of fluent tongue, 
If Dice fcolded, Orpheus fung. 

And fo, by difcord without ftrife, tj 

Compos'd one harmony of life ; 
And thus, as all their matters flood, 
They got an honeft livelihood : 

Happy were mortals, could they btt 

From any fudden danger free ! 30 

Happy were Poets, could their fong 
The feeble thread of life prolong ! 

But, as thefe two went ftroling on, 
Poor Dice's fcene of life was done $ 

4 Away 


Away her fleeting breath muft fly, 35 

Yet no one knows wherefore, or why. 

This caus'd the general lamentation, 
To all that knew her in her ftation - t 
How brifc (he was ftill to advance, 

The Harper's gain, and lead the dance, 43 

In every tune obferve her thrill, 
Sing on, yet change the money ftill. 

Orpheus befl knew what lofs he had, 
And, thinking on't, fell almoft mad, 

And [in defpair to Linus ran, 45 

Who was efteem'd a Cunning-man j 
.Cried, " He again muft Dice have, 
*' Or elfe be buried in her grave." 

Quoth Linus, " Soft, refrain your forrow i 
* ' What fails to-day, may fpeed to-morrow. 5* 

" Thank you the Gods for whate'er happens, 
" But don't fall out with your fat capons. 
" 'Tis many an honeft man's petition, 
'* That he may be in your condition. 
" If fuch a bleffing might be had, e j 

To change a living wife for dead, 
" I'd be your chapman j nay, I'd do't, 
" Though I gave forty pounds to boot, 
" Confider firft, you fave her diet ; 

" Confider next, you keep her- quiet : * 

" For, pray, what was fhe all along, 
' Except the burthen of your fong ? 
" What, though your Dice's under ground, 
" Yet many a woman may be found, 
" Who, in your gains if fhe may part take, 65 

' Truft me, will quickly make your heart ake : 
" Then reft content, as widowers fhould 
" The Gods beft know what's for our good !" 

Orpheus no longer could endure 
Such wounds where he expected cure. 7p 

" Is't poffible ?" cried he j " and can ^ 

' That noble creature, married man, I 

" In fuch a canfe be fo profane ? J 

s ru 


" I'll fly thee far as I would death, 

" Who from my Dice took her breath." 75 

Which faid, he foon outftript the wind, 
Whilft puffing Boreas lagg'd behind* 
And to Urganda's cave he came, 
A lady of prodigious fame ; 

Whofe hollow eyes and hopper breech 8 

Made common people call her Witch ; 
Down at her feet he proftrate lies, 
With trembling heart and blubber'd eyes. 

" Tell me," faid he, " for fure you know 
** The Powers above, and thofe below, f 5 

" Where does Eurydice remain ? 
" How (hall I fetch her back again ?" 

She fmilingly replied, " I'll tell 
" This eafily without a fpell : 
" The wife you look for's gone to Hell-* 
" Nay, never ftart, man, for 'tis fo ; - 

*' Except one ill-bred wife or two, V 

" The fafliion is, for all to go. J 

" Not that (he will be damn'd ; ne'er feat 
" But (he may get preferment there. 95 

" Indeed, (he might be fried in pitch, 
" If (he had been a bitter bitch ; 
u If (he had leapt athwart a fword, 
*' And afterwards had broke her word; 
" But your Eurydice, poor foul ! io 

" Was a good-natur'd harmlefs fool ; 
" Except a little cattervawling, 
" Was always painful in her calling ; 
" And, I dare truft old Pluto for't, 

" She will find favour in his Court : 105 

" But then to fetch her back, that ftill 
*' Remains, and may be paft my fltill ; 
" For, 'tis too fad a thing to jeft on, 
" You're the firft man e'er alk'd the queflioij j 
" Forhulbands are fuch felfifli elves, !! 

41 They care for little "but themfelves. 
" And then one rogue cries to another, 
" Since this wife's gone, e'en get another : 
Vo L. III. P tt Though 

si. 0RPHEUS AND E U R Y D I C & 

Though moft men let fuch thoughts alone, 

And fwear they've had enough of one. I rj- 

" But, fince you are fo kind to Dice, 

" Follow the courfe which I advife ye ; 

" E'en go to Hell yourfelf, and try 

" Th' effecT: of Mufick's harmony ; 

** For you will hardly find a friend, 12* 

** Whom you in fuch a cafe might fend? 

" Befides, their Proferpine has beeii 

" The brifkeft dancer on the green/ 

Before old Pluto ravifh'd her, 

*' Took her to Hell and you may fwear 

She had but little Mufick there; 

For, fince flie laft beheld the fun,' 

" Her merry dancing-days are done ; 

"She has a colt's tooth ftill, I warranty 

** And will not difapprove your errand. 

*< Then your requeft does reafon feem, 

*' For what's one fingle ghoft to them ? 

" Though thoufand phantoms fhould invade ye, 

*' Pafs on Faint Heart ne'er won fair Lady ! 

" The bold a way will find, or make, 

** Remember, 'tis for Dice's fake." 

Nothing pleas'd Orpheus half fo well, 
As news that he muft go to Hell. 
Th' impatient wight long'd to be going. 
As moft folk feek their own undoing ; 
Ne'er thought of what he left behind, 
Never confider'd he fhould find 
Scarce any pafTenger bcfida 
Himfelf, nor could he hire a guide. 

Will Mufick do't ?" cried he. " Ne'er heed.t 145 
* My harp fliall make the marble bleed j 
tf My harp all dangers fliall remove, 
* And dare all flames, but thofe of Love. 1 * 

Then kneeling begs, in terms moft civil) 
Urganda's pafsport to the Devil ; 
Hcrpafs fhe kindly to him gave, 

himtelf with falv> 


Such as thofe hardy people ufe, 

Who walk on fire without their fhoesj 

Who, on occafion, in a dark hole, 155 

Can gormondize on lighted Charcoal ; 

And drink eight quarts of flaming Fuelj 

As men in flux do Water-gruel. 

She bad him then go to thofe-caves, 

Where Conjurers keep Fairy (laves, iCa 

Such fort of creatures as will bade ye 

A Kitchen- wench for being nafty : 

But, if fhe neatly fcour her pewter, 

Give her the money that is due t'her. 

Orpheus went down a narrow hole, 165 

That was as dark as any coal ; 
He did at length fome glimmering fpy, 
By which, at leaft, he might defcry 
Ten thoufand little Fairy elves, 
Who there were folacing themfelves. 17? 

All ran about him, cried, " Oh, dear! 
*< Who thought to have feen Orpheus here ? 
" Tis that Queen's birth-day which you fee, 
" And you are come as luckily : 

" You had no Ballad but we bought it, 175 

" Paid Dice when fhe little thought it $ 
" When you beneath the yew-tree fat, 
" We've come, and all danc'd round your Hat } 
" But whereabouts did Die* leave ye ? 
" She had been welcome, Sir, believe me." if a 

" Thefe little chits would make one fwear," 
Quoth Orpheus, 'twixt difdain and fear. 
" And dare thefe Urchins jeer my croffes, 
" And laugh at mine and Dice's lofles. 
* Hands off 'the monkeys hold the faftcr; if 5 

*' Sirrahs, I am going to your Matter !" 

" Good words," quoth Oberon : " don't flinch j 
*' For, every time you ftir, I'll pinch ; 
" But, if you decently fit down, 

" I'll firfl equip you with a crown ; 190 

'* Then for each dance, and for each fong, 
" Our penct apiece the whole night long." 

P a Orpheus, 


Orpheus, who found no remedy, 

Made virtue of neceffity, 

Though all was out of tune, their dance 1^5 

Would only hinder his advance. 

Each note that from his fingers fell 

Seemed to be Dice's parting-bell, 

At laft, night let him eafe his crupper, 

Get on his legs, to go to fupper. 20* 

Quoth Nab, " We here have ftrangers felclom, 
" But, Sir, to what we have you're welcome." 

" Madam, they feem of light digeilion. 
" Is it not rude to alk a queftion ? 

" What they may be, fifli, flefli, or fruit ? 20 5 

' For I ne'er faw things fo minute." 


' A roafted ant, that's nicely done, 
" By one fmall atom of the fun. 
Thefe are flies eggs, in moon-fhine poach'd, 
" This a flea's thigh in collops fcotch'd, 2i 

" 'Twas hunted yeflerday i' th' Park, 
" And like t' have fcap'd us in the dark. 
" This is a diih entirely new, 
" Butterflies brains ditlblv'd in dew ; 
" Thefe lovers vows, thefe. courtiers hopes, 
" Things to be eat by microfcopes : 2^-5 

" Thefe fucking mites, a glow-worm's heart, 
" This a delicious rainbow-tart !" 

** Madam, I find, they're very nice, 
" And will digefl within a trice ; 

"I fee there's nothing you efteem, 22* 

" That's half fo grofs as our whipt-cream. 
" And I infer, from all thefe meats, 
" That fuch light fuppers keep clean fheets." 

" But, Sir," faid fire, " perhaps you're dry !" 
Then, fpeaking to a Fairy by, 225 

" You've taken care, my dear Endia, 
All's ready for my Raufia.' 1 

" S I R> 



" A drop of water, newly torn 
" Frefh from the rofy-finger'd Morn ; 

" A pearl of milk, that's gently preft Z3 

u From blooming Hebe's early breaft ; 
" With half a one of Cupid's tears ; 
*' When he in embryo firft appears ; 
" And honey from an infant bee 
" Makes liquor for the Gods and Me !" 235 

" Madam," fays he, " an't pleafe your Grace, 
" I'm going to a droughty place ; 
" And, if I an't too bold, pray charge her, 
" The draught I have be fomewhat larger." 

" Fetch me," faid fhe, " a mighty bowl, 240 

" Like Oberon's capacious foul, 
" And then fill up the burnifli'd gold 
" With juice that makes the Britons bold. 
" This from feven barley-corns I drew, 
" Its years are feven, and to the view 
" 'Tis clear, and fparkles fit for you. 

" But ftay 

" When I by Fate was laft time hurl'd, 
" To aft my pranks in t'other world, 

" I faw fome fparks as they were drinking, 250 

" With mighty mirth and little thinking, 
" Their jefts were fupernaculum, 
" I fnatch'd the rubies from each thumb, 
" And in this cryftal have them here, 
" Perhaps you'll like it more than Beer." 255 

Wine and late hours diflblv'd the feaft, 
And Men and Fairies went to reft. 

The bed where Orpheus was \o U? 
Was all ftufPd full of Harmony, 

Purling ftreams and amorous rills, 260 

Dying found that never kills : 
Zephyrus breathing, Love delighting, 
Joy to {lumber foft inviting : 
Trembling founds that make no noife. 
And fongs to pleafe without a voice, 465 

P 3 Were 


Were mixt with down that fell from Jove, 
When he became a Swan for love. 

'Twas night, and Nature's felf lay dead, 
Nodding upon a feather-bed ; 

The mountains feem'd to bend their tops, 'I 

And (butters clos'd the milleners fliops, f 

Excluding both the punks and fops. -* 

No ruffled ftreams to mill do come, 
The filent fifh were ftill more dumb ; 

Look in the chimney, not a fpark there, 375 

And darknefs did itfelf grow darker. 

But Orpheus could not fleep a wink, 
He had too many things to think : 
But, in the dark, his harp he fining, 
And to the liftening Fairies fung. tSo 

Prince Prim, who pitied fo much youth 
Join'd with fuch conftancy and truth, 
Soon gave him thus to underftand ; 

" Sir, I laft night receiv'd command 
" To fee you out of Fairy Land, 
u Into the Realm of Nofnotbocai j 
'.' But let not fear or fulphur choak ye j 
* ( For he's a Fiend of fenfe and wit, 
' And has got many rooms to lett." 

As quick as thought, by glow-worm glimpfe, 490 

Out walk the Fidler and the Prince. 
They foon arrive ; find Bocai brewing 
Of Claret for a Vintner's ftewing. 

" I come from Oberon," quoth Prince Prim. 

" 'Tis well," quoth Bopai : " what from him ?" 495 

" Why, fomething ftrange ; this honeft man 
* Had his wife died ; now, if he can, 
" He fays, he'd have her back again." 

Then Bocai, fmiling, cried, " You fee, 
'-' Orpheus, you'd better ftay with me. 350 

" For, let me tell you, Sir, this place, 
*' Although it has an ugly face, 
*' If to its value it were fold, 
Is worth ten thoufand ton of gold j 

& "And 


3 19 



** And vry famous in all ftory, 

Call'd by the name of Purgatory. 

44 For, when fome ages fliall have run, 

;* And Truth by Falfehood be undone, 

M Shall rife the Whore of Babylon ; 

*' And this fame Whore lhall be a Man, 

** Who, by his lies and cheating, can 

*' Be fuch a trader in ail evil, 

*' As to outdo our friend the Devil : 

He and his pimps lhall fay, that vvhcrn 

*' A man is dying, thither then 

" The Devil comes to take the foul, 

" And carry him down to this hole* 

*' But, if a man have ftore of wealth, 

41 To get fome prayers for his foul's health, 

The Devil has then no more to do, 

" But muft be forc'd to let him go 5 

" But we are no more fools than they, 

" Thus to be bubbled of our prey. 

" By thefe fame pious Frauds and Lies, 
*' Shall many Monafteries rife : 

*' Friars lhall get good meat and beer, 

*' To pray folks out that ne'er came here ; 

*' Pans, pots, and kettles, lhall be given, 
*' To fetch a man from hence to Heaven. 

*' Suppofe a man has taken purfes, 

" Or ftolen flieep, or cows, or horfes, 

" And chances to be hangM ; you'd cry, 

" Let him be hang'd, and fo good by. 

" Hold, fays the Friar j let me alone, 

" He's but to Purgatory gone j 

And if you'll let our Convent keep 

" Thofe purfes, cows, hoifes, and Iheep j 

" The fellow fliall find no more pain, 

?' Than if he were alive again." 

Here Orpheus figh'd, lw:gan to take on, "J 

Cried, " Could I find the Whore you fpake on, > 

" I'd give him my beft flitch of bacon : y 

" I'd give him cake and fugar'd fack, 

*' If he would bring my Die* back : 

P * Rathe? j 



" Rather than fhe fhould longer flay, 345 

" I'd find fome lufty man to pray. 

" And then poor Dice, let him try her, 

" I dare fay, would requite the Friar." 

Great Nofnotbocai fmil'd to fee 

Such goodnefs and fimplicity. , 350 

Then kindly led them to a cell, 
An outward granary of Hell ; 
A filthy place, that's feklorn fwepr, 
Where feeds of villainy are kept. 

" Orpheus," faid he, " I'd have you take 355 

" Some of thefe feeds here, for my fake; 
Which, if they are difcreetly hurl'd 
" Throughout the parts of t'other world, 
" They may oblige the Fiend you fue to, 
" And fill the palace of old Pluto. 360 

" Sow pride-feed uppermoft ; then above 
" Envy and J'candal plant f elf -love. 
<< Here take revenge, and malice without caufe, 
(l And here contempt of boncfly and la*ws ; 

' This hot feed's anger, and this hotter lujl, 365 

?' Beft fown with breach of friend/hip, and of trtift : 
" Thefe y?ar/8, bail, plague, and tempeft feeds, 
' And this a quinteilence of weeds, 
" This the worft fort of artichoke, 

" A plant that Pluto has himfelf bcfpoke; 37^ 

Nourifh it well, 'tis ufcful treachery. 
' This is a choice though little feed, a lye : 
" Here take fome now from thefe prodigious loads, 
" Of tender things that look like Toads. 
" In future times, thefe, finely dreft, 375 

" Shall each invade a Prince's breaft ; 
f< 'Tis flattery feed, though thinly fown, -* 

" It is a mighty plant when grown, f 

' When rooted deep, and fully blown ; J 

* Now fee thefe things like bubbles fly, 38* 

Tliefe are the feeds of vanity. 
<f Take tyrant acorns, which will beft advance^ 
f If fown in Eaflern climates, or in France ; 

3 " But 


f* But thefe are things of moft prodigious hopes, > 

" They're Jejuit bulbs tied up with ropes, L. 

f And thefe the Devil's grafts for future popes, J 

" Which with Fanaticifm are join'd fo clean, 

" You'd fcarce believe a knife had pafs'd between : 

*' Falfe-iuitneft feed had almoft been forgot, 

" 'Twill be your making, fhould there be a plotr 

?' And now, dear Orpheus, fcatter thefe but well; 39* 

V And you'll deferve the gratitude of Hell." 

Quoth Orpheus, "-You fhall be obey'd -v 

" In every thing that you have laid, L 

" For mifchief is the Poet's trade : J 

" And whatfoever they (hall bring, 

" You may allure yourfelf, I'll fing. 

" But pray what Poets fliall we have, 

*' At my returning from the grave ?" 

" Sad dogs !" quoth Bocai ** let me fee 3^5 

" But, fince what I fay cannot fhame them, 

" I'll e'en refolve to never name them." 
" But now," fays Bocai, " Sir, you may 

" Long to be going on your way, 

*' Unlefs you'll drink fome Aifcnick Claret : 400. 

" 'Tis burnt, you fee; but Sam can fpare it. 
Orpheus replied, " Kind Sir, 'tis neither 

?' Brandy nor whers that brought me hither j 

M But Love, and I an iaftancc can be, 

?' Love is as hot as pepper'd brandy ; 405 

" Yet, gentle Sir, you may command 

f A tune from a departing hand j 

" The ftyle and paHion both are good, 

' 'Tis The Three Children in the Wood." 

He fang; and pains themfelves found eafe; 41^ 

For griefs, when well exprefs'd, can pleafc. 

When he defcrib'd the childrens lofs, 
And how the Robins cover'd them with rnofs ; 

To hear the pity of thofe birds, 
'en Bocai's tears fell down with Orpheus' words. 415 


R U F I N U S | 

O R, 


Imitated from C L A U D I A N. 

OFT, as I wondering fland, a fecrct doubt 
Puzzles my reafon, and difturbs my thought, 
"Whether this lower work! by Chance does move, 
Or guided by the guardian hand of Jove. 

When I furvey the world's harmonious frame, jc* 

How Nature lives immutably the fame ; 
Bow ftatetl bounds and ambient fhores reibrairt 
The rowling furges of the briny msin ; 
Hew eonftant Time revolves the circling year j 
Hvr Day and ISight alternately Appear ; 10 

Then am 1 well convinc'd fome fecret foul, 
Some Firft Informing Power direcls die whole ; 
Some great Intelligence, who turns the Spheres, 
Who rules the fteady motion of the Stars, 

Who decks with borrow'' d light the waning Moon f 1C 

Jtod fills with native light th' unchanging Sun, 
Who hangs the Earth amidir furrounding fkies, 
Jirul bids her various Fruits in various Seafons rife, 

But, foon as I reflect on human ftate, 

How blind, how unproportional, is our fate ; &$ 

JJow ill men, crown'd with bleffings, fmoothly paf* 
A golden circle of delightful days ; 
How good men bear the rugged paths of life, 
Coademai'd to endlefs cares, to endlefs ftrifc : 
Then am. I loft again ; Religion fails, z$ 

Then Epicurus' bolder fcbeme prevails j 

This was written in 1711, and feetns to be a harfli fatire on the duke 
f Mittlborough. - t but was perhaps dictated rather by party rage than truth, 


R U F I N U S. 

Which through the void makes wandering atoms dance, 

And calls the medley world the work of Chance ; 

Which God's eternal Providence denies, 

And feigns him nodding in the diftant Ikies. 34 

At length RUFINUS' fate my doubt removes, 
And God's exijlence and \\KJtfJJice proves. 
Nor do I longer undeceiv'd complain, 
The Wicked flourifli, and triumphant reign 5 
Since they to Fortune's heights are rais'd alone, 35 

To rum with greater ruin headlong down *. 


b TheReader (if fuch an one by chance there be) who ha received no 
entertainment from the preceding lines may fpare himfelf the trouble of 
perufing a mafterly imitation of the fame original ; which ws are tempted 
to annex, as a rich repaft for the Literati. To the very learned and now 
right reverend author of them our beft excufe is fuggefted by his own 
motto L'ce^it intfrdum NOTiisiMA eligcre. 

" Oft have thefe thoughts my anxious foul opprefs'd, 
'* With fluctuating fury tore my breaft, 
*' Whether Omnilaent Powers, all good, heflow 
" Their care and bleffing on mankind below j 
" Or doth fole arbitrefs, "blind Chance, prefide. 
" And things at random drive the giddy guide. 
hen this 

" By 
" Ho 

When this harmonious whole I wondering found 

By h-.vs directed, ftricleft union bound ; 

w circling feafons in their turns appear, 
*' To pour their products, and complete the year; 
" How Night and Day in grateful change move round ; 
** How draggling deeps, unwilling, own a bound ; 
'* The tumult ceas'd. Yet, though reprefs'd my fears, 
'* My mind flill labours with the lefTening cares. 
*' As when retiring ftorms forfake the deep, 
" Pant to the more, and o'er the billows creep ; 
" Whi'e Ocean yet not all his peace regains, 
" Nor baffled Boreas quits the heaving plains, 
'* Thick fluttering blalb die in a diftant roar, 
'* And fainter murmurs fall along the more. 

" But now a confcious guidance I defcry, 
" Now fee a Mind Almighty, thron'd on high : 
" Who points the planets their unvaried way; 
" Fills the fair womb of Earth with offspring gay ; 
'* Gives changing Phoebe fpkndours not her own, 
" And ftores with unlent light the conftant Sun j 
" On Central axes hangs the fteady ball, 
u Secure in air, and gives h laws to roll. 

{20 R U F I N U Sj 

But here inftruft thy Bard, Pierian Dame, 
Whence, and of whom, the dire contagion came. 

Alefto'sbreaft with rage and envy glows, 

To fee the world pollefs'd of fvveet repofe. 40 

Down to the dreary realms below fhe bends, 
There fuinrnons a cabal of Sifter Fiends. 
Thither unnumber'd Plagues direft their flight, 
The curfed progeny of Hell and Night. 

Firft, Difcord rears her head, the nurfc of War ; 45 

Next, Famine fiercely ftalks with haughty air ; 
Then Age fcarce drags her limbs, fcarce draws her breath, 
But, tottering on, approaches neighbouring Death ; 
Here grows Difeafe, with inbred tortures worn ; -\ 

There Envy fnarls, and others good does mourn ; > 

There Sorrow fighs, her robe to tatters torn ; J 

Fear fltulks behind, and trembling hides her face, 
But Ralhnefs headlong thrufts her front of brafs ; 
Then Luxury, wealth's bane, profufely fliines, 
Whilft Want, attending in a cloud, repines. 55 

** When lo ! again 

' My views no more a certain profpeft boaft, 

" And all the promife of a God is loft. 

" Black gathering clouds my ruffled mind o'er-fpread, 

" Bewilder'd in the maze of life I tread, 

< See the fuccefsful Villain ride the ftate ; 

* The Patriot finking in the ftorms of Fate. 

** Sadden Religion's itrong fupports decay, 

** And all the towering fabrick falls away ; 

* With mournful eyes the fleeting form I view, 

" And forc'd, unwilling, other guides purfue ; 

'* That through the void teach (looping atoms rain'd, 

*' B? Chance aflbciate, and by Chance detain'd. 

' While lucky jumbles of a thoughtlefs rout 

* A world protluce, and at an heat ftrike out. 

f Exifts the whole, ungpvern'd, felf-combin'd, 

' Jfor wants the ftay of an immortal Mind. 

** But all my doubts RUFINUS' fall remov'd j 
" Abfolv'd the Gods, and Providence approval. 
' Of tardy Vengeance now no more 1 rave, 
When proftituted Purple courts the Slave ; 
' Hoifted aloft, juft fliewn, then headlong flung, 
** To deck the dunghill whence the infect fprung." 

Tranflations in Prole and Verfe, 1 724. 
A train 


A train of fleeplefs felt-tormenting cares, 

Daughters of meagre Avarice, appears 6 ; 

Who, as around her wither'd neck they cling, 

Confefs the parent hag from whence they fpring. 

Here ills of each malignant kind refort, 6 

A thoufand monfters guard the dreadful court. 

' Am id ft th' infernal crowd, Alefto ftands, 
And a deep filence awfully commands ; 
Then, in tumultuous terms like thefe, cxprefs'd 
A pafiion long had fvvell'd within her breaft : 5 

' Shall we fupine permit thefe peaceful days, 
" So fmooth, fo gay, fo undifturb'd, to pafs ? 
' Shall Pity melt, fhall Clemency controul, 
" A Fury's fierce and unrelentingyoa/? 

" What do our iron whips, our brands, avail ; - 1 

** What all the horrid implements of Hell ; 
" Since mighty Jove debars us of \\isjkies, 
" Since Theodofius too his earth denies ? 
" Such were the days, and fo their tenor ran, 
" When the firft happy Golden Age began : 75 

* Virtue and Concord, with their heavenly train, 
" With Piety and Faith, fecurely reign ; 

" Nay, Juftice, in imperial pomp array'd, 
" Boldly explores this everlafting made ; 
" Me flie, infulting, menaces and awes ; n 

* Reforms the world, and vindicates her laws. 
" Atxl fhall we then, neglected and forlorn, 

" From every region baniih'd, idly mourn ? 

" Alfert yourfelves ; know what, and whence, you arc : ^ 

" Attempt fome glorious mifchief wonh your care j i, 

" Involve the Univerfe in endlefs war. 

'* Oh ! that I could in Stygian vapours rife, 

" Darken the fun, pollute the balmy_/J/ ; 

" Let loofe the rivtrs, deluge every plain, _ 

" Break down the barriers of the roaring main, , L 

** And fhattcr Nature into Chaos once again !" J 

So rag'd the Fiend, and tofs'd her -vipers round, 
Which hilling pour'd their poifon on the ground. 

. c This is an inftance in which Dr. King, in common with greater 
TPoets, has facrificed Grammar to (even a very indifferent) Rhyrre. 

A murmur 

R U F I N U S; 

A murmur through the jarring audience rung, 

Different refolves from different reafons fprung. j-ijf 

So when the fury of the ftorm is paft, 

When the rough winds in fofter murmurs wafte ; 

So founds, fo fluftuates, the troubled fea, 

As the expiring tempeft plows its way. 

Megaera, rifing then, addrefs'd the throng, 10* 

To whom Sedition, Tumult, Rage, belong ; 
Whofc food is entrails of the guiklefs dead, 
Whofe drink is childrens blood by parents IheiL 
She fcorch'd Aleides with a frantic flame, 105 

She broke the bow, the favage world xlid tame j 
She nerv'd the arm, flie flung the deadly dart, 
When Athamas transfix'd Learchus' heart : 
She prompted Agamemnon's monftrous Wife 
To take her injur'd Lord's devoted life : ii 

She breath'd revenge and rage into the Son^ 
So did the Mother's blood the Sire's atone : 
She blinded Oedipus with kindred charms, 
Forc'd him inceftuous to a Mother's arms 
She flung Thyeftes, and his fury fed j 115 

She taught him to pollute a Daughter's bed. 
Such was her dreadful fpeech : 

" Your fchemes not practical nor lawful are, 
*' With Heaven and Jove to wage unequal war r 
' But, if the peace of Man you would invade, iz 

" If o'er the ravag'd Earth deftrufiion fpread. 
J Then fhall RUFINUS, fram'd for every ///, 
u With your own vengeance execute your will ; 
" A prodigy from favage parents fprung, 

" Impetuous as a Tigrefs new with young j 1*5- 

" Fierce as die Hydra, fickle as the Flood, 
And keen as meagre Harpies for their food. 

" Soon as the infant cfrew the vital air, 
I firft receiv'd him to my nnrfing care j 

41 And often he, when tender yet and young, ij 

Cried for the teat:, and on my bofom hung : 
" Whilft my horn'd ferpents round his vlfage play'd ; 
Hi features form'd, and there their itenofn fhed, 


'* Whilft I, infufmg, breath'cl into his heart 
*' Deceit and crafty and every hurtful art; jj* 

" Taught him t'involve his foul in fecret clouds, 
** With falfe diflembling fmiles to veil his fraud* 

*' Not dying patriots' tortures can ailuage 
*' His inborn cruelty, his native rage : 

Not Tagus" yellow torrent can fuffice 139 

His boundlefs and unfated avarice i 

Nor all the metal of Paftolus' ftreams, 

Nor Hermus glittering as the folar beams* 

" If you the ftratagem propos'd approve, 

Let us to Court this bane of crowns remove. i^g 

There fliall he foon, with his intriguing art, 

Guide uncontroul'd the willing Prince's heart* 

Not Numa's vvifdom fliall that heart defend. 
" When the falfe Favourite acts the faithful Fritnd* 

Soon as me ended, the furrounding crowd 139 

With peals of joy the black defign applaud. 

Now with an adamant her hair the bound, 
With a \A\itferpent girt her veft around ; 
Then haftes to Phlegethon's impetuous ftrearn, 
Whofe pitchy waves are flakes of rolling flame ; t jj 

There lights a torch, and ftraight, with wings difplay'd, 
Shoots fwiftly through the dun Tartarian glade. 

A place on Gallia's utmoft verge there lies, 
Extended to the fea and Southern ikies ; 

Where once Ulyfles, as old Fables tell, jC 

Jnvok'd and rais'd th' inhabitants of Hell ; 
Where oft, with flaring eyes, the trembling bint 
Sees airy phantoms fkim before the wind : 
Hence fprings the Fury into upper fkies, 

Infecting all the region as flie flies : 1*5 

She roars, and fhakes the atmofphere around, 
And Earth and Sea rebellow to the found. 
Then ftraight transform 'd her fnakes to filver hairs, 
And like an old decrepid fage appears ; 

Slowly {he creeps along with trembling gait, I jo 

Scarce can her languid limbs fuftain her weight. 
At length, arriving at RUFINUS' cell, 
Which, from hi* monilrou* birth, Ihe knew fe well, 


Z44- R U F I N U S ; 

She mildly thus Hell's darling hope acklrefVcl, 

Sooth'd his ambition, and inflam'd his breaft : 17- 

f Can Sloih diilblve RUFINUS ? canft: thou pafs 
" Thy fprightly youth in foft inglorious eafe ? 
' Know, that thy better Fate, thy kinder Star, 
' Does more exalted paths for thee prepare. 
" If thou an old man's connfel canft obey, 180 

" The fubjeft world fhall own thy fovereign fvvay : 
" For my enlighten'd foul, my confcious breail, 
' Of Magic's fecret fcience is pofTefs'd. 
*' Oft have I forc'd, with myflic midnight fpells, 
" -i\&fpelres from their fubterranean cells : 185 

" Old Hecate attends my powerful fong, 
' Powerful to haften fate, or to prolong ,- 
" Powerful the rooted ftubborn oak to move, 
" To flop the thunder burfting from above, 
" To make the rapid flood's defcending ftream 19* 

" Flow backward to the fountain whence it came. 
" Nor doubt my truth behold, with juft furprize, 
' An effort of my art a palace rife" 

Shefaid; and, lo ! a palace towering feems, 
With Parian pillars and metallic beams. . 195 

RUFINUS, ravifh'd with the vaft delight, 
Gorges his avarice, and gluts his fight. 
Such was his tranfport, fuch his fudden pride, 
When Midas firft \i\s golden c wijh enjoy'd : 

But, as his fliffening food to metal turn'd, 200 

He found his rafhnefs,, and his ruin mourn'd. 

*' Be thou or Man or God," Rufinus faid, 
" I follow wherefoe'er thy dictates lead." 

Then from his hut he flies, affumes the ftate 
Propounded by the Fiend, prepar'd by Fate. 205 

Ambition foon began to lift her head, 
Soaring, Ihe mounts with reftlefs pinions fpread j 
But Juftice, confcious, fhuns the poifon'd air, 
Where only proflituted tools repair ; 

Where STILICO and Virtue not avail ; 219 

Where royal favours ftand expos'd to fale ; 



Where now RUFINUS d , fcandaloufly great, 
Loads labouring nations with oppreflive weight ; 


d To the elegant writer whom we have already quoted in p. 219, the 
Curious are alfo indebted for the following valuable Fragment : 
Slow daftard Dulnefs is his native vice, 

But Mifchief quickens, and informs the tnafs, 

From realm to realm as the Deftroyer flies, 

A following tract of bloody ruin lies 

Beneath the Line with fiercer fires he glows, 

And adds new winter to Rhiphean fnows: 

An horrid refpite chains and racks afford, 

The cruel mercies of th' impending fword : 

Worfe than th' impending i'word protrafted breath, 

A life prolong'd to wail the woes of death. 
If any, bolder than the reft, deny 

When call'd the Tyrant's coffers to fupply ; 

Stung with the dire difgrace, he foams with ire, 

And his red eye-balls dart deftruftive fire. 

So the {truck Savage roves Getulia's plain, 

Tries the barb'd javelin, and provokes the pain; 

Robb'd of her young, fo the mad tigrefs roars, 

Hangs on the parth, and thunders to the fhores ; 

So hdles fierce, fo meditares her foe, 

The trodden fnake, while her big columns glovf ' 

- But ftill he thirds, ftill pines amidft his ftore, 
A wretch, that's always craving, always poor. 

See great FABRICIUS, great in indigence, 
Slight the deluding tribute of a prince; 
His fmall paternal plot SERRANUS plows, 
While fvveat bedews the toiling conlul's brows. 
Thofe lowly cots, the Curian names adorn, 
On cloud-hid Palatine look down with fcorn. 
O facred ftate ! where wealth or want ne'er come ; 
To ferve no motive, to enflave no Rome ! 
Let luxury thy o'er-charg'd nature load, 
And with fantaftic dainties heap thy board. 
To her full brcafts, me Mother Earth receives ; 
Cheaply I'll riot on the wealth (he gives. 
There, figur'd walls betray the Tynan loom, 
Th' imperial murix * proudly paints thy dome. 
Here, blooming meads their fragrant fweets difpenfc ; 
Here, living pleasures court the ravim'd fenfe ; 
Embroider'd carpets every field adorn, 
Blows in the grove, and opens in the lawn ; 

* A (hell fifli } of the liquor whereof a purple colour is made. 
VOL. HI. Q^ The 

2*6 R U F I 1S T U S; 

Keeps the obfcquious world depending full 

On the proud dictates of his lawlefs will; 475 

Advances thofe, whofe fierce and factious zeal 

Prompts ever to rejift, and to rebel: 

But thofe impeaches , who their Prince commend, 

Who, dauntlefs, dare \i\sfacred rights defend. 

Expounds finall-n'o/j into highcjl crimes, 22* 

Brands loyalty as treafon to the times. 

An haughty Minion, mad with empire grown r 

Enflaves t\\cfubjifis, and infults the Throae. 

A thoufand difemboguing rivers pay 

Their everlafh'ng homage to tliefea ; 225 

The Nile, -the Rhine, the Danube, and the Tharaas, 
Pour conftant clown their tributary ftreams : 
But yet t\\efea confefles no increafe, 
For all is fwallow'd in the deep abyfs. 

In craving, ftill RUFWUS' foul remains, 23* 

Though fed with ihowers of gold, and floods of gains ; 
For he defpoils and ravages the land, 
No ftate is free from his rapacious hand ; 
Tieafures immenfe he hoards ; creels a tower, -, 

To lodge the plunder'd world's collec~ted ftore : I 

UnmeafuE'd is his wealth, unbounded is his power. J 

The flowery couch and gently-murmuring ftreams 
Lull to loft {lumbers and unbroken dreams. 
There, clamorous .clients croud long rooms of irate,. 
And rawning levees call the Wretched, Great ! 
Here, on-fmooth whifpers, balmy Zephyr blows, 
And every Mufick wakes from calm repofe. 

A virtuous Poverty's a good confefs'd, 
When Nature made us % men, flie made us blefs'd. 
So live the Wile, who hear her heavenly voice, 
Who know to make, and know to ufe, their choice *. 

* " Adeo tritum thema eft, atqueab omnibus ja&atum, otiirm & fe- 
'* ceflum. piseponere vitse forenfi, & occypatas, propter fecurjtatett), liber- 
" tatem, dulcedinem, dignitatem, aut faltem ab indignitatfbus immuni- 
" tatem, ut XCKO trallet butic hcum fain bine traSet ; ita humanis concep- 
tibus in experience, & confeifibus in pproba4o coniwiit." ,Bacon, 
tfe Au-gra, Scient. 


O R, T H E F ,A V O U R I T E. ^ 

Oh! whither would'ft thou rove, miflaken man ? 
Vain are thy hopes, thy acquifitions vain : 

For now, fuppofe thy pua>;ice poffefs'd 24* 

Of all the fplendour of the glittering Eaft, 
Of CROESUS' mafs of weajth, of CYRUS' crown, 
Suppofc the ocean's trcafure all thy x>wn ; 
Still would thy foul tepine, ftill aflc for more> 
Unblcft with plenty, with abundance poor. 245 

FABRICIUS, in himfelf, in virtue great, 
Difdain'd a monarch's bribe, defpis'd his ftate. 
SERRANUS, as he grac'd the Conful's chair, 
So could he guide the plough's laborious (hare. 
The fam'd, the warlike, CURII deign'd to dwell 9:9 

In a poor lonely cot and humble cell. 
Such a retreat to me's more glorious far, 
Than all thy pomp, than all thy triumphs are : 
Give me my folitary native home, 

Take tliou thy rifing tower, thy lofty dome ; 255 

Though there, thy furniture of radiant die 
Abftra6ts and ravifhcs the curious eye; 
Though each apartment, every fpacious room, 
Shines with the glories of the Tyrian loom ; 

Yet here I view a more delightful fcene, io 

Where Nature's freflieft bloom and beauties reign ; 
Where the warm Zephyr's genial balmy wing, 
Playing, diffufes an eternal fpring : 
Though there thy lewd lafcivious limbs are laid, 
On a rich downy couch, or golden bed ; 165 

'Yet here, extended on the flowery grafs, 
More free from care, my guiltlefs hours I pafs : 
Though there, thy jyc ophants, a fervile race, 
Cringe at thy levees, ami refound thy praife ; 
Yet here a murmuring ftream, or warbling bird, 27* 

To me does fweeter -harmony afford. 

NATURE on all the power of blifs beftows, 
Which from her bounteous fource perpetual flows. 
But he alone with happinefs is bleft, 

\Vho knows to ufe it rightly when jporTefl; : 275 

A doctrine, if well poiz'd in Rcafon's fcale, 
Kor Luxury nor Want would thus prevail. 

Qz Nor 

it* R U F I N U S; 

Nor would our fleets fo frequent plow the main, 
Nor our embattled armies ftrew the plain. 

But, oh ! RUFINUS is to reafon blind ! aJ* 

A ftrange hydropic third inflames his mind. 
No bribes his growing appetite can fate ; 
For new poffeffions new defires create. 
No fenfe of fliame, no modefty, reftrains, 

Where Avarice or where Ambition reigns. 3.1$ 

When with ftrift oaths his profer'd faith he binds, 
Falfe are his vows, and treacherous his defigns. 
Now, fhould a Patriot rife, his power oppofe, 
Should he aflert a finking nation's caufe, 

He flirs a vengeance nothing can controul, 29* 

Such is the rancour of his haughty foul ; 
Fell as a lionefs in Libya's plain, 
When tortur'd with the javelin's pointed gain : 
Or a fpurn'd ferpent, as fhe fhoots along, 

With lightening in her eyes, and poifon in her tongue. 495 

Nor will thofe families eraz'd fuffice ; 
But provinces and cities he deftroys : 
Urg'd on with blind revenge and fettled hate, 
He labours the confufion of ihejlate ; 

Subverts the nation's old-eftablifli'd frame, 3** 

Explodes her laws, and tramples on her fame. ^ 

If e'er in mercy he pretends to fave 
A man purfued by faStion from the grave ; 
Then he invents new punifhments, neiv pains t 
Condemns tojilence, and from truth reftrains e : 3*5 

Then racks and pillories, and bonds and bars, 
Then ruin and impeachments he prepares. 
O dreadful mercy ! more than death fevere ! 
That doubly tortures whom it feems to fparc ! 

All feem enflav'd, all bow to him alone ; 31* 

Nor dare their hate their juft refentments own : 
But inward grieve, their fighs and pangs confm'd, 
Which with corrvulfivt farrow tear the mind. 

Alluding to the fentence then recently pafled on Dr. Sacheverell, for 
wkom our Author was a profeffed Advocate, See vol. U. P. 180. 



Envy is mute 'tis treafon to difclofe 

The baneful fource of their eternal woes. 315 

But STILICO'S fuperior foul appears 
Unfhock'd, unmov'd, by bafe ignoble fears. 
He is the Polar S:ar, direfts the Jlate, 
When parties rage, and public teifipefli beat; 
He is the fafe retreat, the fweet repofe, 340 

Can footh and calm affliftcd Virtue's luoes. 
He is the folid, firm, unlhaken force, 
That only knows to ftem th' invader's courfc. 

So when a river, fvvell'd with Winter's rains, 
The limits of its wonted (hore difdains ; 3*5 

Bridges, and ftones, and trees, in vain oppofe ; 
With unrefifted rage the torrent flows : 
But as it, rolling, meets a mighty rock, 
Whofe fix'd foundations can repel the fhock, 
Elided [urges roar in eddies round, 33* 

The rock, uwnrJ'd, reverberates the found, 


C 130 3 

O R, 

Lord BOLINGBROKE'S Welcome frorrt FRANCE t> 

" Et thure, et fidibus juvat 

" Placare, ct vitu'li fanguine debito 
" Cuftodes Numicte Deos." 

HOR. lib. I. Ocl. xxxvi. ad Pomponium 
Numidam, ob cujus ex Hifpani^ red- 
ditum gaudio exukat. 

WHAT noife is this, that interrupts my fleep ? 
What echoing fhouts rife from the briny deep ? 
Neptune a foletnn feflival prepares, 
And Peace through all his flowing orb declares : 
That dreadful trident, which he us'd to fhake, "jj 

Make Earth's foundations and Jove's palace quake, 
Now, by his fide, on ou?,y couch reclin'd, 
Gives a fmooth furface and a gentle wind : 
Innumerable Tritons lead the way, 

And crouds of Nereids round his chariot play, JQ 

The ancient Sea-gods with attention wait, 
To learn what's now the laft refuk of Fate ; 
.What earthly Monarch Neptune now decrees 
Alone his great vicegerent of the fcas. 

By an aufpicious gale, Britannia's fleet i - 

On Gallia's coaft this fhining triumph meet ; 
Thefc ponips divine their moutal fenfe furprize, 
JxDud to the ear, and dazzling to the eyes : 
Whilft fcaly Tritons, with their fhells, proclaim 
The names that mull furviye to future fame ; jo 

And Nymphs their diadems of pearl prepare 
for monarchs who, to purchafe peace, makq war : 

f Lord Bolingbroke fet out for France, accompanied by Mr. Hare 
one of his undcr-fecretaries, Mr. Prior, and the Abbe Gualtier, Aug. ^ j 
and arrived again in London, Aug. zi, i 7 iz. See tke note, p. a 34 . 


Then Neptune his inajeftic filence broke, 
And to the trembling failors mildly fpokc : 

" Throughout the world Britannia's flag difplayj a 5 

" 'Tis my command, that all the globe obey : 
" Let Britifli ft reamers wave their heads on high, 
""" And dread no foe beneath Jove's azure iky ; 
" The reft let Nereus tell" 

" If I have truth," fays Nereus, " and forcfee ^o 

" The intricate defigns of Deftiny ; 
' I, that have view'd whatever fleets have rode 
" With fliarpen'd keels to cut the yielding flood ; 
4t I, that could weigh the fates of Greece and Rome, 
*' Phoenician wealth, and Carthaginian doom ; 
" Muft furely know what, in the womb of time, 35 

" ^Vas fore-ordain'd for Britain's happy cljme ; 
" How wars upon the watery realms fliall ceafe, 
" And Anna give the world a glorious peace : 
" Refiore the fpicy trafKck of the Eaft, 

" And ftretch her empire to the diftant Weftt 40 

*' Her fleets defcry Aurora's purple bed, 
" And Phoebus' fteeds after their labours fed. 
" The Southern coafts, to Britain fcarcely known, 
" Shall grow as hofpitable as their own : 

41 No monfters (hall be feign'd, to guard their ftorc, 45 

" When Britifh trade fecures their golden ore : 
4t The fleecy product of the Cotfwold fiejd 
" Shall equal what Peruvian mountains yield-: 
4( Iron fhall there intrinfic value ihow, 
** And by Vulcanian art more precious grow, 5 

*" Britannia's royal fifliery fliall be 
44 Improv'd by a kind guardian deity ; 
44 That mighty talk to Glaucus we affign, 
" Of more importance than the richeft mine j 
" He fliall clireft them how to ftrike the Whale, 55 

" How to avoid the clanger, when prevail ; 
" What treafure lies upon the frozen coaft 
*' Not yet explor'd, nor negligently loft, 

" In vaft Acadia's plains, new theme for fame, 
** Towns fliall be built, facred to Anna's S name j -^p 

E Annapolis, the capital of Nova Scotia. 

CL 4 M The 


The filver fir and lofty pines fhall rife 
" From Britain's own united Colonies ; 
" Which to the mail fhall canvas wings afford, 
" And pitch, to ftrengthen the unfaithful board ; 
" Norway may then her naval ftores with-hold, 65 

" And proudly ftarve for want of Britifli gold. 
" O happy Ifle ! to fuch advantage plac'd, 
" That all the world is by thy counfels grac'd ; 
" Thy nation's genius, with induftrious arts, 
" Renders thee lovely to remoteft parts. 7 

" Eliza firft the fable fcene withdrew, 
*' And to the ancient world difplay'd the new ; 
" When Burleigh h at the helm of ftate was feen, 
" The trueft fubjeft to the greateft Queen : 
''The Indians, from' the Spanifli yoke made free, 75 

" Blefs'd the effects of Englilh liberty ; 
" Drake ' round the world his Sovereign's honour fpread, 
' Through ftraights and gulphs immenfe her fame convey'd ; 
f Nor refts enquiry here ; his carious eye 

" Defcries new conftellations in the fky, So 

" In which vaft fpace, ambitious mariners 
" Might place their names on high, and chufe their flars. 
" Raleigh k , with hopes of new difcoveries fir'cl, 
'.* And all the depths of human wit infpir'd, 
" Rov'd o-'er the Weftern world, in fearch of fame, 85 

f Adding frefh glory to Eliza's name; 
" Subdued new empires, that will records be 
" Immortal of a Queen's virginity f. 

" But think not, Albion, that thy fons decay, 
f Or that thy princes have lefs power to fway j 90 

h Sir William Cecil was made prefident of the court of wards Jan. 10, 
1561, at which time he was alfo fecretary of flate ; and was created lord 
Burleigh, Feb. zj, 1570-1. He died Aug. 4, 1598, in his y8th year, 
jifter having had a principal (hare in the adminiltration 40 years. He 
feas been defervedly placed at the head of our Englifh flatefmen ; not only 
for his great abilities and indefatigable application, but alfo for his in- 
violable attachment to the intercfl of his fovereign. See more in Grander. 

See above, p. 92. 

* See vol. II. p. 93. 

J Alluding to the firft fettlement of Virginia. 

- Whatever 


41 Whatever in Eliza's reign was feen, 

' With a re-doubled vigour fpiinga again : 

" Imperial Anna fhall the fcas controul, 

" And fpread her naval la\vs from Pole to Pole : 

" Nor think her conduct or hsrcounfels lefs, 95 . 

" In arts of war, or treaties for a peace ; 

" In thrifty management of Britain's wealth, 

" Embezzled lately, or purloln'd by ftealth. 

" No nation can fear want, or dread furprize, 

*' Where Oxford's m prudence Burleigh's lofs fupplies 5 ! 

" On him the puhlick moft fecurely leans, 

" To eafe the burthen of the beft of Queens : 

" On him the merchants fix their longing eyes, 

" When war (hall ceafe, and Britim commerce rife. 

" Alcides' ftrength and Atlas' firmer mind 1*5 

" To narrow ftreights of Europe were confin'd. ^ ., 

" The Britifli Sailors, from their Royal Change, 
" May find a nobler liberty to range. 
" Oxford fhall be their Polc-ftar to the South, 
" And there reward the efforts of their youth : i je 

Robert Harley, efq. was born Dec. 5,1661. On the acceflion of 
king William, he was defied member for Tregony ; and afterward for 
Radnor, which he reprefented till called to the upper houfe. Feb. n, 
1701-1, he was chofen fpeaker; as he was again, 31 Dec. following; 
and a third time, in the firft parliament of queen Anne. April 17, 1704, 
he was fworn of the privy council; and, MayiS following, appointed 
fecretary of ftate, being ftill fpeaker of the houfe of commons. His office 
of fecretary he refigned Feb. 12, 1707-8. Aug. 10, 1710, he was made a 
commiflioner of the treafury and chancellor of the exchequer; and three 
days after fworn again of the privy council ; where, on the 8th of Marck 
following, his life was attacked by Guifcard. The addrefs of both houfes 
of parliament (hews their great anxiety on that alarming occafion. Her 
mnjefty, in reward for his many fervices, advanced him to the peerage, 
by the title of baron Harley, earl of Oxford and earl Mortimer. On the 
2o,th of May, he was appointed lord treafurer; Aug. 15, chofen governor 
of the South Sea company, of which he had been the founder ; and, 
Oft. 3.6, 1712, was honoured with the Garter. July 27, 1714, he refigned 
the treafurer's rtaflf. June 10, 1715. his lordfhip was impeached by the 
houfe of commons ; and was committed to The Tower July 9, where 
he was confined till July z, 1717, when the impeachment was difmifled. 
He died May 21 1 1724. 



* Whence, through his conduct, trnffick fhall encreafe, 
** Ev'n to thofe Seas which take their name from peace n . 

" Peace. is the found muft glad' the Britons' ears 
** But fee ! the noble Bolingbroke appears j 
'6efture compos'd and looks ferene declare 115 

** The approaching iffue of a doubtful war. 
Now my ccerulean race fafe in the deep, 
<* Shall hear no cannons' roar tlifturb their fleep ; 
But fmootheil tides and the moft halcyon gales 
'Shall to their port direct Britannia's fails. 

** Ye Tritons, fons of Gods ! 'tis my command, 126 

** That you fee Bolingbroke in fafetyland ; 
** Your concave fhells for fofteit notes prepare, 
' Whilft Echo fhall repeat the gentleft air ; 
**1?he River-gods fhall there your triumphs meet, 
And, in old Ocean mix'd, your hero greet ; 
* Thames fhall ftand wondering, Ifis ftiall rejoice, 125 

** And both in tuneful numbers raife their voice. 

n The Pacific Ocean. 

Henry St. John, efq. was fecretary at war from April 20, 1704, 
to Feb. n, r^-8. He fucceeded Mr. Boyle as fecretary of ftate, Sept. 
ai, *7io; and July 7, 1712, was created baron St. John and vifcount 
BoliBgbroke : an honour he received reluctantly, having been difappointed 
f aft earldom and of the Garter. On the acceflion of king George I, be 
was made lord lieutenant and cuflos rotulorum of the county of EfTex. 
The feals were taken from him Ocl. i j, 1715, and all the papers in his 
office fecured. Soon after the meeting of the new parliament, perceiving 
limfeM" in danger, he withdrew into France. In 1723, his majefty having 
granted him a full and free pardon, he returned to his native country } 
and in about two years obtained an adl of parliament, to reftore him to 
his family inheritance. He remained, however, ftill a mere titular lord, 
not being admitted to take his feat in parliament. Inflamed with this 
taint, he again entered upon the public ftage, and embarked ftrongly in 
cppofition againft Sir Robert Walpole ; which he carried on with inimit- 
able fpirit,till, in 1735, on a disagreement with his principal coadjutors, 
lie retired to France, with a full refolution never more to engage in public 
bufmefs. On the death of his father, who lived to be extremely old, he 
fettled at Batterfea, the ancient feat of the family, where he patted the 
remainder of his days in the higheft dignity ; and died, Nov. 15, 1751* 
on the verge of fourfcore. During the latter part of bis life, he was much in 
the confidence of Frederick prince of Wales, and is fuppofed to have been 
$headvifer of the moft important fleps in that prince's political conduct. 



" The rapid MedwaV, and the fertile Trent, 

" In fvvifteft ftreams, confefs their true content. 

" Avon and Severn lhall in raptures join, 

" And Fame convey them to the Northern Tine : 130 

" Tweed then no more the Britons lhall divide, 

** But Peace and Plenty flow on either fide ; 

" Triumphs proclaim, and mirth and jovial feafts, 

" And all the world invite for welcome guefts." 

Faction, that through the land fo fatal fpread, 135 

No more (hall dare to raife her Hydra's head j 

But all her votaries in filence mourn 

The happinefs of Bolinghroke's return ; 

Far from the common pitch, he ihall arife, 

With great defigns, to dazzle Envy's eyes ; 14* 

Search deep, to know of Whiggifh plots the fource, 

Their ever-turning fchemes, and reftlefs courfe. 

Who fhall hereafter Britim annals read, 
But will reflect with wonder on this deed ? 
JTow artfully his conduct overcame 14.^ 

A ftubborn race, and quench'd a raging flame j 
Retriev'd the Britons from unruly fate, 

And overthrew the Phaetons of ftate ! 

Thcfe wife exploits through Gallia's nation ran, 

And fir'd their fouls, to fee the wondrous man : 150 

The aged counfellors, without furprize, 

Found wit and prudence fparkling in his eyes ; 

Wifdom that was not gam'd in courfe of years, 

Or reverence owing to his hoary hairs, 

But ftruck by force of genius ; fuch as drove i^ 

The Goddefs Pallas from the brain of Jove. 

The youth of France, with pleafure, look'd to fee 

His graceful mien and beauteous fymmetry : 

The virgins ran, as to unufual fhow, 

W"hen he to Paris came, and Fomainbleau ; 160 

Viewing the blooming minifter defir'd, 

And ftill, the more they gaz'd, the more admir'd. 

Nor did the Court, that belt, true grandeur knows, 

Their fentiments by lefler facts difclofe, 

By common pomp, or ceremonious train, t6$ 

Seen heretofore, or to be feea again; 



But they devis'd new honours, yet unknown, 
Or paid to any fubjcft of a crown. 

The Gallic King, in age and counfels wife, 

Sated with war, ami weary of difguife, 17* 

Wrth open arms falutes the Britifli Peer, 
Ami gladly owns his prince and character. 
As Hermes from the throne of Jove defcends, 
With grateful errand, to Heaven's choiceft friends ; 
As Iris from the bed of Juno flits, 175. 

To- bear her Queen's commands through yielding flues, 
W hi 1ft o'er her wmgs frefh beams of glory flow, 
And blended colours paint her wondrous bow i 
So Bolingbroke appears in Louis' light, 

With meflago heavenly ; and, with equal light, 1*0 

Ififpels all clouds of doubt, and fear of wars, 
An<V in his Miflrefs' name for Peace declares : 
Accents divine ! which the great King receives 
With the fame grace that mighty Anna gives. 

Let others boaft of blood, the fpoil of foes, 185 

Rapine and murder, and of endlcfs woes, 
Bctefted pomp ! and trophies gain'd from far,. 
With fpsngled enfigns, ftreaming in the air .' 
Count how they made Bavarian fubjefts feel 

The rags of fire, and edge of harden'd fleel : 19* 

Tatal effects of foul infatiate pride, 
That deal their wounds alike on either fide : 
IKo limit's fet to their ambitious ends, 
For who- bounds them, no longer can be friends. 
By different methods Bolingbroke fhall raife 195 

Hfs growing honours and immortal praife. 

He, fir'd with glory and the public good, 
Betwixt the people and their danger flood : 
Arm'd with convincing truths, he did appear; 
And all he faid was fparkling, bright, and clear. 200 

TTie liftening Senate with attention heard, 
And fame admjr'cl, while others trembling fear'd ; 
Not from the tropes of formal eloquence, 
But Dcmofthenic ftrength, and weight of fenfc : 
Such as fond Oxford to her Son fuppliecl, 205 

Bc&gn'd her own, as well as Britain's pride. 



Who, lefs beholden to the ancient {Trains, 

Might ftew i nobler blood in Englifh veins : 

Out-do whatever Homer fweetly Tung 

Of Neftor's counfels, or Ulyfles' tongue. ^ 

Oh ! all ye Nymphs, whilft time and youth allosr, 
Prepare the Rofe and Lily for his brow. 
Much he has done, but^lill has more .in view; 
To Anna's interelr. and his country true. 
More I could prophefy ; but muft refrain : 
Such truths would make another mortal vaim ! 


^1 n H E time will come (if Fate fhall pleafe to give 
-I- This feeble thread of mine more fpace to live) 
When I fhall you and all your afts rehearfe, 
In a much loftier and more fluent verfe ; 
To Ganges' banks, and China farther Eaft, 
To Carolina, and the diftant Weft, 
Your name fhall fly, and every where be bleft ; 
Through Spain and trafts of Libyan fands fhall g* 
To Ruffian limits, and to Zembla's fnow. 
Then fhall my eager Mufe expand her wing, 
Your love of juftice and your gcodnefs fmg; 
Your greatnefs, equal to the Irate you hold j 
In counfel wife, in execution bold : 
How there appears, in all that you difpenfe, 
Beauty, good-nature, and the ftrength of fenfc. 
Thefe let the world admire. From you a fmiJe 
Is more than a reward of all my toil. 

P A paraphrafe on Naudaeus's Addrefs to Cardinal de B.gni. Dr. Kiaj 
dedicated his Engliih verfign of that work to ihe -duke of Bsauf ,r:. 




YO U fay you love ; repeat again, 
Repeat th' amazing found, 
Repeat the eafe of all my pain, 
The cure of every wound. 

What you to thoufamls have denied, 

To me you freely give ; 
Whilft I in humble filence died 

Your mercy bids me live. 

So upon Latmos' top each night 

Endymion fighing lay, 
Gaz'd on the Moon's tranfcendent light ; 

Defpair'd, and durft not pray. 

But divine Cynthia faw his grief, 

Th' effect of conquering charms : 
Unafk'd the Goddefs brings relief, 

And falls into his arms. 


TH E cruel Caelia loves, and burns 
In flames fhe cannot hide ; 
.Make her, dear Thyrfis, cold returns, 
Treat her with fcorn and pride. 

You know the captives ftie has made, 

The torment of her chain : 
Let her, let her be once betray'd> 

Or rack her with difdain I 


See tears flow from her piercing eyes, 

She be,rjds her .knee. divhie; 
Her tears for Damon's fake defpife j 

Let her kneel ftill for mine. 

Purfue thy conqueft, charming youth, 
Her haughty beauty vex, 

Till trembling virgins learn this truth- 
Men can revenge their fex. 

An incomparable ODE of MALHERBE'S-I, written;by 
him when the Marriage was on foot between this 
King of FRANCE r and ANNE of AUSTRIA. 

Translated by a great Admirer of the Eafijiefs of Frenc 

Cette Annefi btlte, This Anna fo fair, 

: Qu'on vantf fi fort, So talked of by fame, 

Ponrquoy ne vient elle ? Why don't (he appear ? 

Vrayment, elle a tort! Indeed,' flic's to blame ! 

Son Louis foupire Lewis fighs for the fake 

Apres fes appas : Of her charms, as they fajr; 

S^ue I'eut elle dire, What excufe can (he make 

Slue elle ne <vient pas ? For not coming away ? 

Si il ne la poffede, If he does not polTefs, 

// s? en <va*nourir ; He jjies with despair ; 

Donnons y remede, Let's give him redrefs, 

Allans la querir. .And go, find qut the Fair. 

1 The Tranflitor propofcd to Ode with ^lljnvjginable exa&* 
nefs ; and he hopes he ha*.been prey juft to Malherhe : only in the fixth 
line he has made a fawll addition of thefe three words, "as they fay j" 
which he thinks is excufable, if we confider the French'Poef there talks a 
little too familiarly of the king's paffion, as if the king himfelf had 
owned it to him. The Translator thinks it more mannerly ai)d. refpeft- 
ful in Malherbe to pretend .to have ,tfae ,rcont <)t t,ouly .by hearfay. 


' Lewis the Fourteenth. 

M I S C E L L A N Y P O E M S. 


SEPTEMBER and November . now were paft, 
When men in bonfires did their firing wafte ; 
Yet ftill my monumental log did laft : 
To begging boys it was not made a prey 
On the King's birth or coronation day. 
\Vhy with thofc oaks, under whofe iacred fliade 
Charles was prcferv'd, fiiould any fire be made >~ 
At laft a froft, a difmal froft, there came, 
Like that which made a market upon Thame^: 
Unruly company would then have made 
Fire with, this log, whilft thus its owner pray'd : 
" Thou that art worlhip'd in Doclona's grove, 
' From all thy facred trees fierce flames remove : 
" Preferve this groaning branch, O hear my prayer, 
" Spare me this one, this one poor Billet fpare j 
" That, having many fires and flames \vithflood. 
" Its antient teftimonial may laft good 
" In future times to prove, I once had Wood !" 


In Imitation of PETRARCH. 

AT fight of murdcr'd Pompey' head 
Caefar forgets his fex and frate, 
And, whilft his generous tears are Hied, 
Whlies he had at leaft a milder fate. 

At Abfalom's untimely fall, 

David with grief his conqueft views ; 
JJay weeps for unrelenting Saul, 

And in fofc verfc tlie mournful theme purfues. 



The mightier Laura, from Love's darts fecufe, 
Beholds the thoufand deaths that I endure, 
Each death made horrid with mofl cruel pain ; 

Yet no frail pity in her looks appears, 

Her eyes betray no carelefs tears, 
But perfccute me fHH with anger and difJain. 

To the Right Honourable the late Earl of s , upon 

his difputirig publicly at Chfift Church, Oxford* 

MUSE, to thy matter's lodgings quickly fly; 
Entrance to thee his goodnefs won't deny : 
Witli due fubmiffion, tell him you are mine, 
And that you trouble him with this defign, 
Exa&ly to inform his noble youth 
Of what you heard juft now from vanquilh'd Truth : 
*' Conquer'd, undone ! 'Tis ftrange that there Ihould be 
" In this confeflion plcafare ev'n to me. 
" With well-wrought terms my hold I ftrbngly barrM, 
" And rough diftin&ions were my furly guard. 
4 Whilit I, fure of my caufe, this ftrength poflefs, 
u A noble youth advancing with addrefs, 
" Led glittering falfehood on with fo much art* 
" That I foon felt fad omens in my heart. 
" Words with that grace," faid I, " muft needs perfuade j 
" I find myfelf infcnfibly betray'd. 
" Whilft he parfues his conqueft, I retreat, 
" And by that name would palliate my defeat. 

" But here methinks I do the profpect fee 
Of all thofe triumphs lie prepares for me, 
** When Virtue 1 or when Innocence oppreft 
*' Fly for fure refuse to his generous breaft; 
" When with a noble mien his youth appears, 
' And gentle voice perfuades the liftening peers. 
' Judges mall wonder when he clears the laws, 
*' Difpelling mifts, which long have hid their caufe : 

Probably James the third of Arglsfea. Sfe the Memoirs of Dr. 
King, in our Fir.1 Volume, 

VOL. HI. R Th:n, 


" Then, by his aid, aid that can never fail, 
" Ev'n I, though conquer'd now, fhall fure prevail t- 
< Thoufands of wreaths to me he fhall repay 
" For that one laurel Error wears to-day." 


WHEN your kind wiflies firft I fought, 
'Twas in the dawn of youth : 
I toafted you, for you I fought, 
But never thought of truth. 

You faw how ftill my fire encreas'd ; 

I griev'd to be denied : 
You faid, " till I to wander ceas'd 

" You'd guard your heart with pride.?' 

I, that once feign'd too many lies, 

In height of paffion fwore 
By you and other deities, 

That I would range no more. 

I've fworh, and therefore now am fix r d>, 

No longer falfe and vain : 
My paffion is with honour mix'd, 

And both fliall ever reign. 


IL L from my bread tear fond defire, 
Since Laura is not mine : 
I'll ftrive to cure the amorous fire, 
And quench the flame with wine. 

Perhaps in groves and cooling lhadc 

Soft {lumbers I may find : 
There all the vows to Laura made 

Shall vanifh with die wind, 



the fpeaking firings and charming fong 

My paflion may remove: 
Oh, Mufick will the pain prolong, 

And is the food of love. 

I'll fearch heaven, earth, hell, feas, and air, 

And 'that fhall fet me free : 
Oh, Laura's image will be there 

Where Laura will not be. 

My foul mud ftill endure the pain* 

And with frelh torment rave : 
For none can ever break the chain 

That once was Laura's flave. 


A Soliloquy by NAN THRASHERWELL, being Part 
of a Play called " The New Troop." 

OM Y dear Thrafherwell, you're gone to fea, ~\ 

And happinefs muft ever banifli'd be f 

From our flock- bed, our garret, and from me ! * 

Perhaps he is on land at Portfmouth now 
In the embraces of fome Hampihire Sow, 
Who, with a wanton pat, cries, " Now, my Dear^ 
" You're wifhing for fome Wapping doxy here."- 
" Pox on them all ! but moft on bouncing Nan, 
" With whom the torments of my life began : 
" She is a bitter one !" You lye, ydu Rogue; 
You are a treacherous, falfe, ungrateful dog. 
Did not I take you up without a fliirt ? 
Woe worth the hand th fcrubb'd off all your dirt J 
Did not my intereft lift you in the Guard ? 
And had not you ten {hillings, ray reward ? 
Did I ndt then, before the Serjeant's face, 
Treat Jack, Tom, Will, and Martin, with difgrace ? 

R 2 Anil 


And Thraflierwcll before all others chufc, 

When I had the whole Regiment to loufe. 

Curs'd be the day when you produc'd your fword, 

The juft revenger of your injur'd word : 

The martial Youth round in a circle flood, 

With envious looks of love, and itching blood. 

You, with fome oaths that fignified confent, 

Cried ' Tom is Nan's !" and o'er the fword you went. 

Then I with fome more modefty would flep : 

The Enfign thump'd my bum, and made me leap. 

I leap'd indeed ; and you prevailing men 

Leave us no power of leaping back again. 


YOUNG Slouch the Farmer had a jolly Wife, 
That knew all the conveniences of life, 
Whofe diligence and cleanlinefs fupplied 
The wit which Nature had to him denied r 
But then me had a tongue that would be heard, 
And make a better man than Slouch afeard. 
This made cenforious perfons of the town 
Say, Slouch could hardly call his foul his own : 
For, if he went abroad too much, flie'd ufe 
To give him flippers, and lock up his fhoes. 
Talking he lov'd, and ne'er was more afflifted 
Than when he was diflurb'd or contradi&cd : 
Yet ftill into his ftory flie would break 
With, " 'Tis not fo pray give me leave to fpeak." 
His friends thought this was a tyrannic rule, 
Not differing much from calling of him fool ; 
Told him, he muft exert himfelf, and be 
In fact the mafter of his family. 

He faid, " That the next Tuefday noon would flicw 
" Whether he were the lord at home, or n j 



" When their good company he would entreat 

" To well-brew'd ale, and clean, if homely, meat." 

With aking heart home to his wife he goes, 

And on his knees does his ralh aft difclofe, 

And prays dear Sukey, that one day, at leaft, 

He might appear as maftcr of the feaft. 

" I'll grant your wifh," cries me, " that you may fee 

" 'Twere wifdom to be govern'd ftill by me," 

The guefts upon the day appointed came, 

Each bowfy Farmer with his fimpering dame. 

" Ho ! Sue !" cries Slouch, " why doft not thou appear ? 

" Are thefe thy manners wlxen Aunt Snap is here ?" 

" I pardon afk," fays Sue ; " I'd not offend 

" Any my dear invites, much lefs his friend." 

Slouch by his kinfman Gruffy had been taught 
To entertain his friends with finding fault, 
And make the main ingredient of his treat 
His faying, " There was nothing fit to eat : 
The boil'd Pork ftinks, the roaft Beefs not enough, 
" The Bacon's rufty, and the Hens are tough ; 
" The Veal's all rags, the Butter's turn'd to Oil ; 
" And thus I buy good meat for fluts to fpoil, 
" 'Tis we are the firft Slouches ever fate 
" Down to a Pudding without Plums or Fat. 
** What Teeth or Stomach's ftrong enough to feed 
" Upon a Gocfe my Grannum kept to breed ? 
*' Why muft old Pidgeons, and they ftale, be dreft, 
" When there's fo many fquab ones in the neft ? 
" This Beer is four, this mufty, thick, and rtale, 
" And worfe than any thing, except the Ale." 

Sue all this while many excufes made, 
Some things fhe own'd, at other times fhe laid 
The fault on chance, but oftener on the maid. 
Then Cheefe was brought. Says Slouch, " This e'en mail roll : 
" I'm fure 'tis hard enough to make a Bowl : 
*' This is Skim-milk, and therefore ic fhall go; 
" And this, becaufe 'tis Suffolk, follow too." 
But now Sue's patience did begin to wafte. 
Jtfpr Ignger could dilfimulation laft. 

R 3 Pray 


" Pray let me rife," fays Sue, " my dear : I'll find 
" A Cheefe perhaps may be to Levy's mind." 
Then in an entry, ftanding clofe, where he 
Alone, and none of all his friends might fee ; 
And brandifhing a cudgel he had felt, 
And far enough on this occafion fmek ; 
" I'll try, my joy," flic cried, "if I can pleafe 
My Deareft with a taflre of his Old Cheefe." 

Slouch turn'd his head, faw his wife's vigorous hand 
Wielding her oaken fapling of command, 
Knew well the twang : " Is't the Old Cheefe, my Dear 
" No need, no need of Cheefe," cries Slouch : " I'll fwear 
f I think I've din'd as well as my Lord Mayor !" 



TWO neighbours, Clod and Jolt, would married bcj 
But did not in their choice of Wives agree. 
Clod thought a Cuckold was a monftrous beaft 
With two huge glaring eyes and fpreading creft : 
Therefore, refolving never to be fuch, 
Married a Wife none but himfelf could touch, 
Jolt, thinking marriage was Fate, 
Which (hews us whom to love, and whom to hate, 
To a young handfome jolly lafs made court, 
And gave his friends convincing reafon for't, 
That, fince in life fuch mifchief muft he had, 
Beauty had fomething ftill that was not bad. 
Within two months, Fortune was pleas'd to feud 
A Tinker to Clod's houfe, with " Brafs to mend." 
The good old wife furvey'd the brawny fpark, 
And found his chine was large, though countenance dark. 
Firfl flie appears in all her airs, then tries 
The fquinting efforts of her amorous eyes. 
Much time was fpent, and much defire expreft : 
At laft die Tinker cried, Few words are beft j 

" Give 


Give me that Skillet then ; and, if I'm true, 
" I clearly earn it for the work I do." 
They 'greed ; they parted. On the Tinker goes, 
With the fame ftroke of pan and twang of nofc, 
Till he at Jolt's beheld a fprightly dame 
That fet his native vigour all on flame. 
He looks, fighs, faints, at laft begins to cry, 
" And can you then let a young Tinker die ?" 
Says fhe, " Give me your Skillet then, and try." 
" My Skillet ! Both my heart and Skillet take ; 
*' I wifh it were a Copper for your fake." 
After all this, not many days did pais 
Clod, fitting at Jolt's houfe, furvey'd the Brafs 
And glittering Pewter ftancling on the fhelf. 
Then, after fome gruff' muttering with himfelf, 
Cried, " Pr'ythee, Jolt, how came that Skillet thine " 
*' You know as well as I," quoth Joltj " 't'en't mine; 
" But I'll afk Nan." 'Twas done ; Nan told the matter 
In truth as 'twas ; then cried, " You've got the better : 
" For tell me, Dearefl, whether would you chufe 
" To be a gainer by me, or to lofe. 
" As for our Neighbour Clod, this I dare fay, 
'* We've Beauty and a Skillet more than they." 


TOM Banks by native incluftry was taught 
The various arts how Fifhes might be caught. 
Sometimes with trembling reed and fingle hair, 
And bait conceal'd, he'd for their death prepare, 
With melancholy thoughts and downcaft eyes, 
Expecting till deceit had gain'd its prize. 
Sometimes in rivulet quick and water clear 
They'd meet a fate more generous from his fpear. 
To bafket oft he'd pliant oziers turn, 
Where they might entrance find, but no return. 

R 4 His 


His net well pois'd with lead he'd fometimes throw, 

Encircling thus his captives all below. 

But, when he would a quick deftru&ion make, 

And from afar much Jarger booty take, 

He'd through the ftream, where mod defcending, fct 

From fide to fide his ftrong capacious net ; 

And then his ruftic crew with mighty poles 

Would drive his prey out from their owzy holes, 

And fo purfue them .down the rolling flood, 

Gafping for breath, and almoft choak'd with mud, 

Till they, of farther paffage quite bereft, 

"Were in the mafli with gills entangled left. 

Trot, who liv'd do\yn the ftream, ne'er thought his beer 
Was gooa, unlefs he had his water clear. 
He goes to Banks, and thus begins his tale : 
" Lord ! if ypu knew but how the people rail ! 
" They cannot boil, nor waflj, nor rinfe, they (ay, 
* With water fometimes ink, and fometimes whey, 
" According as you meet with mud or clay. 
" Befides, my wife thefe fix months could not brew, 
?' And now the blame of this all's laid on you ; 
* l For it will be a difmal thing to think 
" How we old Trots muft live and have no drink : 
" Therefore, I pray, fome other method take 
" Of filhing, were it only for our fake." 

Says Banks, " I'm forry it ftoulcl be my lot 
" Ever to difoblige my goffip Trot : 
" Yet 't'en't my fault ; but fo 'tis Fortune tries one 
" To make his meat become his neighbour's poifon ; 
'" And fo we pray for winds upon this coaft, 
" By which on t'other navies may be loft. 
t f Therefore in patience reft, though I proceed : 
" There's no ill-nature in the cafe, but need. 
* Though for your ufe this water will not ferve, 
? J'd rather you fliould choak, than I fhould ftarve." 




OL D Paddy Scot, with none of the beft faces, 
Had a moft knotty pate at folving cafes j 
In any point could tell you to a hair 
When was a grain of honefty to fpare. 
It happen'd, after prayers, one certain night. 
At home he had occafion for a light 
To turn Socinus r , Leffius, Efcobar, 
Fam'd Covarruvias, and the great Navarre : 
And therefore, as he from the chape] came, 
Extinguifhing a yellow taper's flame, 
By which juft,now he had devoutly pray'd, 
The ufcful remnant to his flceve convey'd. 
There happen'd a Phyfician to be by, 
Who thither came but only as a fpy, 
To find out others faults, but let alone 
Repentance for the crimes that were his own. 

This Doaor follow'd Paddy ; faid, " He lack'd 
' To know what made a facrilegious facV' 

Paddy with ftudious gravity replies, 

" That's as the place or as the matter lies : v 

" If from a place unfacred you fhould take 

" A facred thing, this facrilege would make j 

" Or an unfacred thing from facred place, 

" There would be nothing different in the cafe ; 

" But, if both thing and place fliould facred be, 

" 'Twere height of facrilege, as Doftors all agree." 
" Then," fays the Doctor, " for more light in this, 

f To put a fpecial cafe, were not amifs. 

M Suppofe a man fhould take a Common Prayer 

f f Out of a Chapel where there's fome to fpare." 

" A Common Prayer !" fays Paddy, " that would be 

f* A facrilege of an intenfe degree." 

t Mananus Socinus, an eminent civilian, born in Tufcany In 1482, 
died in Auguft, 1556. He is introduced here, as are the following per- 
fonages, for his great /kill in cafuiftry. He was grandfather to Fauftus 
Socinus, the founder of the kt which bears their name. 

* Suppofe 

25 M I S C E L L A N Y P O E M S, 

* Suppofe that one fhould in thefe holidays 
** Take thence a bunch of Rofemary or Bays." 

" I'd not be too cenforious in that cafe, 
** But 'twould be facrilege ftill from the place." 

** What if a man fhould from the chapel take 
** A taper's end : fhould he a fcruple make, 
*' If homeward to his chambers he fhouk! go, 
** Whether 'twere theft, or facrilege, or no c" 

The fly infmuation was perceiv'd, 
Says Paddy, ** Doctor, you inay be decciv'd, 
" Unlefs in cafes you dilUnguifh right ; 
* A But this may be refolv'd at the tirft fight. 
" As to the taper, it could be no theft, 
" For it had clone its duty, and was left : 
" Ami facrjlege in having it is none, 
" Bccaufc that in my fleeve I now have one," 



ONE night a fellow wandering without fear, 
As void of money as he was of care, 
Confideving both were wafh'd away with beer, 
With Strap the Conftable by Fortune meets, 
Whofe lantherns glare in the mo ft filent ftrects. 
Hefty, impatient any one fhould be 
So bold as to he drunk that night but he : 
" Sirand ; who goes there," cries Strap, " at hours fo late ? 
-' Anfwer. Your name ; or elfe have ;it your pate." 

" I wo'nt ftand, 'caufe I can't. Why inuft you know 
f From whence, it is I come, or where I go ?" 

" See here my ftaif," cries Strap ; " trembling behold 
.' Its radiant paint, and ornamental gold : 
" XVooden authority 'when thus I wield, 
' IVrfons of all degrees obedience yield. 
?' Then, be you the beft man in all the city, 
" ^'I::rk me ! I to the Cqqnter will commir e," 


u You 1 kifs, and fo forth. For that never fparc : 
*' If that be all, commit me if you dare ; 
-" Na perfon yet, either through fSar or fliame, 
" Durft commit me, that once had heard my name."-* 
" Pray then, what is't ?" " My name's ADULTERY ; ^ 

" And, faith, your future life would pleafant be > 

** Did your wife know you once committed mt." 


FROM London, Paul the Carrier coming downi 
To Wantage, meets a beauty of the tdwn, 
They both accoft with falutation pretty, 

As, " How do'ft, Paul ?" " Thank you : and how do'ft, Betty 
" Didft fee our Jack, nor Sifter ? No, you've feen, 
" I warrant, none but thofe who faw the Queen." 

" Many words fpoke in jeft," fays Paul, " are true, > 

" I came from Windfor u ; and, if fome folks knew > 

As much as I, it might be well for you," J 

" Lord, Paul ! what is't ?" " Why give me fomething for't, 
" This kifs ; and this. The matter's then in fliort : 
" The Parliament have made a proclamation, 
" Which will this week be fent all round the nation j 
" That Maids with little mouths do all prepare 
" On Sunday next to come before the Mayor, 
" And that all Batchelors be likcwife there : 
" For Maids with little mouths (hall, if they pleafe, 
" From thefe young men choofe two apiece." 

Betty, with bridled chin, extends her face, 
And then contracts her lips with fimpering grace, 
Cries, " Hem ! pray what mufl all the huge ones do 
'' For hufbands, when we little mouths have two ?" 

" Hold, not fo faft," cries he ; " pray pardon me : 
f l Maids with huge gaping wide mouths mufl have three." 

Where Qti_een Anne and her Court frequently refidcd. 



Betty diftorts her face with hideous fquawl, 
And month of a foot wide begins to bawl, 
* Oh I ho! is't fo ? The cafe is alter'd, Paul. 
" Is that the point ? I wilh the three were ten ; 
" I warrant I'd find mouth, if they'll find men." 


THERE was a lad, th r unlupkieft of his crew, 
Was ilill contriving fomething bad, but new. 
His comrades all obedience to him paid, 
In executing what defigns he laid : 
'Twas they ffeould rob the orchard, he'd retire, 
His foot was fafe whilft theirs was in the fire. 
He kept them in the dark to that degree, 
None fliould prefume to be fo wife as he, 
But, being at the top of all affairs, 
The profit was his own, the mifchief theirs ; 
There fell fome words made him begin to doubt, 
The rogues would grew fo wife to find him out j 
He was not plcas'd with this, and fo next day 
He cries to them, as going juft to play, 
" What a rare Jack -daw's neft is there ! look up, 
" You fee 'tis alrnoft at the ftceple's top." 
*' Ah," fays another, " we can have no hope 
*' Of getting thither to't without a rope." 
Says then the fleering fpark, with courteous grin, 
By which he drew his infant cullies in ; 

*' Nothing more eafy ; did you never fee - 

" How, in a fwarm, bees, hanging bee by bee, L 

V Make a long fort of rope below the tree. J 

" Why mayn't we do the fame, good Mr. John ? 
*' For that contrivance pray let me alone. 
Tom fhall hold Will, you Will, and I'll hold you, 
^ A.iul then 1 warrant you the thing will do. 

" Bur, 


** But, if there's any does not care to try, 

** Let us have no Jack-daws, and what care I !" 

That touch'd the quick, and fo they foon complied, ^ 

No argument like that was e'er denied, 1 

And therefore inftantly the thing was tried. J 

They hanging down on ftrength above depend : 
Then to himfelf mutters their trufly friend, 
*' The dogs are almoft ufelefs grown to me, 
" I ne'er mall have fuch opportunity 
" To part with them ; and fo e'en let them go." 
Then cries aloud, " So ho ! my lads ! fo ho 1 
" You're gone, unlcfs ye all hold faft below. 
41 They've ferv'd my turn, fo 'tis fit time to drop them ; 
" The Devil, if he wants them, let him flop them." 


A GENTLEMAN in hunting rode aftray, 
^*- More out of choice, than that he loft his wray, 
He let his company the Hare purfue, 
For he himfelf had other game in view. 
A Beggar by her trade ; yet not fo mean, 
But that her cheeks were frefh, and linen clean, 
" Miftrefs," quoth he, " and what if we two Ihou'd 
*' Retire a little way into the wood ?" 

She needed not much courtfhip to be kind, 
He ambles on before, fhe trots behind j 
For little Bobby, to her fhoulders bound, 
Hinders the gentle dame from ridding ground. 
He often afk'd her to expofe j but me 
Still fear'd the coming of his Company. 

Says fhe, " I know an unfrequented place, _ 

' To the left hand, where we our rime may pafs, L 

*' And the mean while your horfe may find feme grafs." J 
Thither they come, and both the horfe fecure ; 
Then thinks the Squire, I have the matter furc; 


* 5 4 M I S C E L L AN Y POEMS. 

She's afk'd to fit : but then excufe is made, 

" Sitting," fays fhe, " 's not ufual in my trade 

" Should you be rude, and then fhouhl throw me down, 

" I might perhaps break more backs than my own." 

'He fmiling cries, " Come, I'll the knot untie, 

*' And, if you mean the Child's, we'll lay it by." 

Says fhe, " That can't be done, for then 'twill cry. 

* l I'd not have us, but chiefly for your fake, 

' Difcover'd by the hideous noife 'twould make. 

" Ufe is another nature, and 'twould lack 

*' More than the breaft, its cuftom to the back." 

Then," fays the Gentleman, " I ihould be loth 

" To come fo far and difoblige you both : 

< Were the child tied to me, d'ye think 'twould do :" 

Mighty well, Sir ! Oh, Lord ! if tied to you !" 

With fpeed incredible to work fhe goes, 
And from her moulders foon the burthen throws ; ' 
Then mounts the infant with a gentle tofs 
Upon her generous friend, and, like a crofs, 
The meet fhe with a dextrous motion winds, 
Till a firm knot the wandering fabrick binds. 

The Gentleman had fcarce got time to know 
What fhe was doing ; fhe about to go, 
Cries, " Sir, good b'ye ; ben't angry that we parr, 
" 1 truft the child to you with all my heart : 
" But, ere you get another, 'ten't amifs 
** To try 2 year or two how you'll keep this." 


WITHIN the Shire of Nottingham there lies 
A parifh fam'd, becaufo the men were wife : 
Of their own ftrain they had a teacher fought, 
Who all his life was better fed than taught. 
It was about a quarter of a year 
Since he had fnoar'd, and eat, and fatten'd there, 



When he the houfe-keepfcrs, thoir wives, and all, 
Did to a fort of Parifli-meeting call ; 
Promifing foraething, which, well underftooJ, 
In little time would turn to all their good ; 

When met, he thus harangues : " Neighbours, I find, 
** That in your principles you're well inclin'd i 
" But then you're all felicitous for Sunday, 
' None feem to have a due regard for Monday, 
" Moft people then their dinners have to feck, 
** As if 'twere not the firft day of the week ; 
" But, when you have hafli'd meat and nothing more, 
" You only curfe the day that went before. 
** On Tuefday all folks dine by one confent : 
" And Wednesdays only faft by Parliament, 
" But Falling fure by Nature ne'er was meant. 
" The Market will for Thurfd.ay find a difli, 
" And Friday is a proper day for fifli, 
" After Fifh, Saturday requires fome Meat, 
" On Sunday you're oblig'd by law to treat ; 
" And the fame law ordains a Pudding then, 
" To children grateful, nor unfit for men. 
' Take Hens, Gcefe, Turkies, then, or fomething liglr r 
" Becaufe their legs, if broiPd, will fervc at night, 
" And, fincc I find that roaft Beef makes you fleer> 
" Corn it a little more, and fo 'twill keep. 
** Roaft it on Monday, pity it fliould be fpoil'd, 
* On Tuefday Mutton either roaft or boil'd. 
" On Wednefday fhoulci be fomc variety, 
A Loia or Bread of Veal, and Pigeon Pye. 
** On Thurfday each man of his dim make choice, 
** 'Tis fit on Market-days we all rejoice. 
" And then on Friday, as I faid before, 
We'll have a did of Fift, and one diih more. 
if On Saturday ftcv/d Beef, with foraething r.icc, 
*' Provided quick, and tofs'd up in a trice, 
" Becaufe that in the afternoon, you know, 
** By cuilom, we muft to the Ale-houfe go ; 
" For elfe how fhould our houfes e'er be clean, 
*' Except we gave fomc time to do it then ? 

i 5 6 M I S C E L L A N Y P O E M S, 

' From whence, unlefs we value not our lives, 
*' None part without remembering firfl our Wives* 
" But thefe are ftancling rules for every day, 
*' And very good ones, as I fo may fay : 
" After each meal, let's take a hearty cup ; 
* And where we dine, 'tis fitting that we fup. 

" Now for the application, and the ufe, 
' I found your care for Sunday an abufe : 
" All would be afking, Pray, Sir, where d'you dine ? 
*' I have roaft Beef, choice Vcnifon, Turkey, Chine : 
" Every one's hawling me. Then fay poor I, 
" It is a bitter bufmefs to deny ; 
" But, who is't cares for fourteen meals a day, 
" As for my own part, I had rather flay, 
*' And take them now and then and here and there, 
" According to my prefcnt bill of fare. 
" You know I'm fmgle : if you all agree 
" To treat by turns, each will be fure of me." 

The Veftry all applauded with a hum, 
And the fcvcn wifeft of them bad him come. 


WHEN the young people ride the Skimmington, 
There is a general trembling in a town. 
Not only he for whom the perfon rides 
Suffers, but they fweep other doors bcfides; 
And by that hieroglyphic does appear 
That the good woman is the rnafter there. 
At Jenny's door the barbarous Heathens fwept, 
And his poor wife fcolded until fhe wept, 
The mob fwept on, whilft fhe fent forth in vain, 
Her vocal thunder and her briney rain. 
Some few days after two young fparkt came there, 
And whilft fhe does her Coffee frefh prepare, 
One for difcourfe of news th'e mafler calls, 
T'other on this ungrateful fubjeft fails. 



ff Pray, Mrs. Jenny, whence came this report, 

" For I believe there's no great reafon for't, 

" As if the folks t'other day fwept your door, 

*' And half a dozen of your neighbours more ?" 

" There's nothing in't," fays Jenny ; " that is clone 

** Where the -wife rules, but here I rule alone, 

'* And, gentlemen, you'd much miftaken be, 

" If any one fhoulcl not think that of me. 

" Within thefe walls, my fuppliant vaflals know 

' What clue obedience to their prince they owe> 

" And kifs the fhadow of my papal toe. 

" My word's a law ; when I my power advance, 

" There's not a greater Monarch ev'n in France* 

" Not the Mogul or Czar of Mufcovy, -* 

" Not Prefter John, or Charn of Tartary, S 

*' Are in their houfes Monarch more than I. J . 

" My Houfe my Caftle is, and here I'm King, 

" I'm Pope, I'm Emperor, Monarch, every thing; 

" What though my wife be partner of my bed, 

" The Monarch's Crown fits only on this head." 

His wife had plaguy ears, as well as tongue, 
And, hearing all, thought his difcourfe too long : 
Her confcience faicl, he mould not tell fuch lies> 
And to her knowledge fuch ; Ihe therefore cries, 
" D'ye hear you Sirrah Monarch there 5 Come down 
*' And grind the Coifce or I'll crack your Crown," 


AV I R T UOS O had a mind to fee - 

One that would never difcontented be, I 

But in a carelefs way to all agree. J 

He had a Servant, much of j^fop's kind, -j 

Of perfonage uncouth, but fprightly mind, s 

" Humpus," fays he, I order that you find J 
" Out fuch a man, with fuch a chara&er, 
" As in this paper now I give you her.e, 

VOL, III. S 0t 

i S * M f S C E t L A N Y P O E M S. 

" Or I will lug your ears, or crack your pate, 
** Or rather you fhall meet with a worfe fate, 
" For 1 will break your back, and fet you flrait. 
** Bring him to dinner." Humpus foon withdrew* 
Was fafe, as having fucli a one in view 
At Covent Garden dial, whom he found 
Sitting with thoughtlefs air and look profound, 
Who, folitary gaping without care, 
Seem'd to fay, '* Who rs't ? wilt go any where ?" 

Says Humpus, " Sir, my Matter bad me pray 
" Your company to dine with him to-day." 
He fnuffs ; then follows ; up the flairs he goes, 
Never pulls his off his hat, nor cleans his fhoes, 
But, looking round him, faw a handfome room, 
And did not much repent him he was come ; 
Clofe to the fire he draws an elbow chair, 
And, lolling eafy, doth for fleep prepare. 
In comes the family, but he fits flill, 
Thinks, " Let them take the other chairs that will ! H 

The Mafter thus accofts him, " Sir, you're wet, 
** Pray have a cufliion underneath your feet." 
Thinks he, " If I do fpoil it, need I care ? 
** I fee he has eleven more to fpare." 

Dinner's brought up ; the Wife is bid retreat, 
And at the upper end muft be his feat. 
" This is not very ufual," thinks 'the Clown r 
H But Is not all the family his own ? 
" And why mould I, for contradiction's fake 
** Lofe a good dinner, which he bids me take ? 
*' If from his table Ihe difcarded be, 
" What need I care ! there is. the more for me.'* 

After a while, the Daughter's bid to {land, "J 

And bring him whatfoever he'll command. f 

Thinks he, " The better from the fairer hand." * 

Young Mafter next mufl rife, to fill him. wine, 
And flarve himfelf, to fee the booby dine : 
fie does. The Father afks, " What have you tliere ? 
" How dare you give a ftranger Vinegar ?" 
" Sir, 'twas Champagne I gave him." " Sir, indeed ! 
'* Take him and fcourge him till the rafcl bleed, 

** Bon'c 


" Don't fpare him for his tears nor age, I'll try 
" If Cat of nine tails can excufe a lye." 

Thinks the Clown, " That 'twas wine, I do believe"; 
" But fuch young rogues are apteft to deceive : 
" He's none of mine, but his own flefh and blood, 
" And how know I but 'tmay be for his good ?" 

When the defert came on, and jellies brought, 
Then was the difmal fcene of finding fault, 
They were fuch hideous, filthy, poifonous fluff, 
Could not be rail'd at nor reveng*d enough. 
Humpus was afk'd who made them. TrembKng he 
Said, " Sir, it was my Lady gave them me." 
" I'll take care fhe mail no more Poifon give, 
" I'll burn the witch ; Vent fitting fhe fhoutd live, 
" Set faggots in the court, I'll rtyake her fry, 
" And pray, good Sir, may't pleafe you to be by ?" 

Then, fmilling, fays the Clown, " Upon my life, 
' A pretty fancy this, to burn one's Wife ! 
" And, fince that actually is your defign, 
" Pray let me juft ftep home, and fetch you mine." 


P PL E - P Y E. 

F all the Delicates which Britons try, 
To pleafe the palate, or delight the eye 5 
Of all the feveral kinds of fumptuous fare ; 
There's none that can with APPLE-PYE compare, 
For coftly flavour, or fubftantial pafte, - 

For outward beauty, or for inward tafte. 

When firft this infant-dim in fafhion came, 
Th' ingredients were but coarfe, and rude the frame; 
As yet unpolifh'd in the modern arts, 

Our Fathers eat Brown Bread inftead of Tarts : i 

Pyes were but indigcfted lumps of Dough, 
Till time and juft expejicc improv'd ei$m fo, 
S a 


King COLE (as ancient Britifh Annals w tell) 
Reriown'd for fiddling and for eating well, 

Pippins in homely Cakes with Honey ftew'd, t$ 

" Juft as he bak'd," the Proverb fays, " he brcw'd !" 
Their greater art fucceeding Princes fhow'd, 
And model'd Pafte into a neater mode j 
Invention now grew lively, palate nice, 
And Sugar pointed out the way to Spice. 3,0 

But here for ages unimprov'd we flood, 
And Apple-pye was 1H11 but homely food j 
When god-like Edgar, of the Saxon Line, 
Polite of tails, and ftudious to refine, 

In the Defert perfuming Quinces caft, 25 

And perfefted with Cream the rich repaft. 
Hence we proceed the outward parts to trim, 
With Crinkumcranks adorn the polifh'd brim ; 
And each frefli Pye the pleas'd fpeftator greets 
With virgin-fancies, and with new conceits. 30 

Dear NELLY, learn with care the Paiiry art, 
And mind the eafy precepts I impart : 
Draw out your Dough elaborately thin, 
And ceafe not to fatigue your Rolling-pin : 
Of Eggs and Butter fee you mix enough : 35 

For then the Pafte will fwell into a Puffi 
Which will, in crumpling founds, your praife report, 
And eat, as Iloufewives fpeak, " exceeding Ihort." 
Rang'd in thick order let your Quinces lie j 
They give a charming relifli to the PYE. 4* 

If you are wife, you'll not Brown Sugar flight, 
The browner (if I form my judgement right) 
A deep' Vermillkm tinfture will difpcnfe, 
And make your Pippin redder than the Qumce. 

When this is done, there will be wanting Hill, 45 

'-The juft referve of Cloves and Candied Peel ; 
Nor can I blame you, if a drop you take 
Of Orange-water, for pcrfuming-fake. 
But here the nicety of art is fuch, 

There muft not be too little, nor too much : 50 

* See the old Ballad of " King Cole," in the original Anglo-Saxon 
language, in the fegejx] volume of this collection, p. 87. 


If with difcretion you thefe cofts employ, 
They quicken appetite j if not, they cloy. 

Next, in your mind this maxim firmly root, 
" Never o'ercharge your PYE with coftly fruit :" 
Oft let your Bodkin through the lid be font, j 

To give the kind imprifon'd treafure vent ; 
Left the fermenting liquor, clofely preft, ^ 

Inienfiblv, by conftant fretting, wafte, I 

And o'er-inform your tenement of Pfifte. J 

To chufe your Baker, think, and think again 60 

(You'll fcarce one honed Baker find in ten) : 
Adult and bruis'tl, I've often feen a PYE, 
Jn rich difguife and coftly ruin lie, 

While penfive Cruft beheld its form o'crthrown, - 

Exhaufted Apples griev'd, their moifture flown, > 

And Syrup from the fides ran trickling down. J 

O be not, be not tempted, lovely NELL, 
While the hot-piping odours ftrongly fmell, 
While the delicious fume creates a guft, 

To lick th' o'erflowing juice, or bite the cruft. 70 

You'll rather flay (if my advice may rule) 
Until the hot's corrected by the cool ; 
Till you've infus'd the lufcious ftore of Cream, 
And chang'd the purple for a filvcr ftream j 
Till that fmooth viand its mild force produce, 75 

And give a foftnefs to the tarter juice. 

Then flialt thou, pleas'd, the noble fabrick view, 
And have a flice into the bargain too ; 
Honour and fame alike we will partake, 
o well Til cat, what you fo richly mak,e. So 

., ' : ;I . 
S 3 The 


The A R T of making PUDDING S. 

<t PUDDING is own'd to be 

" Th' effeft of NATIVE INGENUITY," 

ART of COOKERY, ver, 35!, 

IS IN G of Feoo, by Britifh Nurfe defign'd, 
To make the Stripling brave, and Maiden kind. 
Delay nor, Mufe, in numbers to rehearfe 
The pleafures of our life, and finews of our verfe. 
Let PUDDING'S difh, moft wholefome, be thy theme, j 

And dip thy fwelling plumes in fragrant Cream, 

Sing then that Difh fo fitting to improve 
A tender modefty and trembling love j 
Swimming in Butter of a golden hue, 
Garnifh'd with drops of Rofe's fpicy dew, i 

Sometimes the frugal Matron feems in hafte, 
Nor cares to beat her Pudding into Pafte : 
Yet Milk in proper Skillet fhe will place, 
And gently fpice it with a blade of Mace ; 

Then fet fome careful Damfel to look to't, I j 

And ftill to ftir away the Bifhop's-foot ; 
For, if burnt Milk mould to the bottom flick, 
Like over-heated zeal ? 'twould make folks Tick, 
Into the Milk her Flour fhe gently throws, 
As Valets now would powder tender Beaux : ac 

The liquid forms in HASTY MASS unite, 
Forms equally delicious as they're white. 
In fhining difh the HASTY MASS is thrown, 
And feems to want no graces but its own. 

Yet ftill the Houfewife brings in frefh fupplies, 25 

To gratify the talle, and pleafe the eyes. 
She on the furface lumps of Butter lays, 
"Which, melting with the heat, its beams difplays ; 
From whence it caufes, wondrous to behold, 
A Silver foil bedeck'd with ftreams of Gold ! 30 




A S Neptune, when the three-tongued fork he takes. 
With ftrength divine the globe terreftrial fhakes. 
The higheft Hills, Nature't ftupendous Piles, 
Break with the force, and quiver into Ifles ; 
Yet on the ruins grow the lofty Pines, 35 

And Snow unmelted in the vallies fhines : 

Thus when the Dame her HEDCE-Hoc-PuDDiNG breaks, 
Her Fork indents irreparable ftreaks, 
The trembling lump, with Butter all around, 
Seems to perceive its fall, and then be drown'd? 40 

And yet the tops appear, whilft Almond* thick 
With bright Loaf-fegar on the furface ftick. 


YOU, Painter-like, now variegate the fhade, 
And thus from PUDDINGS there's a Landfcape made. 
And WISE and LONDON *, when they vTould difpofe 45 

Their Ever-greens into wcll-ordcr'd rows, 
So mix their colours, that each different plant 
Gives light and fliadow as the others wane 

* The two Royal Gardeners. KING. Mr. Addifon was of opinion, 
that " there are as many kinds of gardening as of poetry. Your makers 
*' of paftures and flower-gardens are epigracnmatifts and fonneteen ia 
f this art : contrivers of bowers and grottoes, treillages and cafcades, are 
" romance- wiiters. WISE and LONDON are our heroic poets j and if, 
" as a critic, I may fingle out any paflage of their works to commend, I 
" /hall take notice of that part in the upper garden at Kenfiagton, which 
" was firft nothing but a gravel-pit.. It muft have been a fine genius for 
" gardening, that could have thought of forming fuch an unfightly hol- 
*' low into fo beautiful art area, and to have hit the eye with fo un- 
" common and agreeable a fcene as that which it is now wrought into 
" I never yet met with any one, who has walked in this garden, who was 
*' not flruck with that part of it." Spectator, No 477 ; and fee above, 
f. 126. A good poem, by Mr.Tickell, intituled, " Keofington Garden," 
i printed in the firft volume of Dodfley's Colleftioa. 

S 4 IV. Making 


IV. Making of a GOOD PUDDING gets a GOOD HUSBAND, 

Y E Virgins, as tliefe lines you kindly take, 
So may you flill fuch glorious Pudding make, 59 

That crouds of Youth may ever be at flrife, 
TQ gain the fwect compofer for his Wife ! 

" Oh, Delicious !" 

BUT where muft our Confcflion firft begin, 
If Sack and Sugar once be thought a Sin ? 


HID in the dark, we mortals feldom know 
From whence the fource of happinefs may flow : 
Who to Broil'd Pudding would their thoughts have bent 
From bright PEWTERIA'S love-rick difcontent? 
Yet fo it was, PEWTERIA felt Love's heat 
In fiercer flames than thofe which roaft her meat. 
No Pudding's loft, but may with frefh delight, 
Be either fried next clay, or broil' d at night. 


BUT Mutton, thou moft nourifhing of meat, 
"Whofe fingle joint y may conftitute a treat; 
When made a Pudding, you excel the reft 
As much as That of other Food is bcft ! 

y A Loin. KING. 


To Mr. CARTER, Steward to the Lord CARTERET, 

A CCEPT of health from one who, writing this, 
^ ^ Wifhes VQXJ in the fame that now he is ; 
Though to your pcrfon lie may be unknown, 
His wifhes are as hearty as your own. 
For CARTER'S drink, when in his Mailer's haau, 
Has pleafure and good-nature at command.- 
What though his Lorxlfliip's lands are in your truft, 
'Tis greater to his BREWING to be juir. 
As to that matter, no one can find fault, 
If you fupply him ftill with WELL-DRIED MALT. 
Still be a fervant conftant to afford 
A liquor fitting for your generous Lord ; 
Liquor, like him, from feeds of worth in light, 
With fparkling atoms ftill nfcending bright. 
May your accompts fo with your Lord (land ckar. 
And have your reputation like your Beer j 
The main pcrfeftion of your life purfuc, 1 

In March, Oftober, every month, ftill brew, \. 

And get the character of " Who but You. 9 " J 


WE know how ruin once did reign, 
When Rome was fir'd, and Senate itain ; 
The Prince, with Brother's gore imbrued, 
His tender Mother's life purfued j 
How he the carcafe, as it lay, 
Did without tear or blufh furvey, 
And cenfure each majeftic grace 
That ftill adorn'd that breathlefs face : 
Yet lie with fword could domineer 
Where dawning-light does firft appear 
P'rom rays of Phoebus ; and command 
Through hi'j whole courfe, even to that ftrand 
Where he, abhorring fuch a fight, 
Sir # ks in the watery gloom of night : 



Yet he could death and terror throw, 
Where Thule ftarves in Northern fnow } 
Where Southern heats do fiercely pafs 
O'er burning fands that melt to glafs. 

Fond hopes ! Could height of Power affuage 
The mad excefs of NERO'S rage? 
Hard is the fate, when fubjecls find 
The Sword unjuft to Poifon join'd ! 


Ad A M I C U M, 

PR I MU S ab Angliaeis, Carolina; Tyntus z in oras, 
Palladias artes fecum, cytharamque fbnantcm 
Attulit ; aft illi comites Parnaflldp una 
Adveniunt, autorque vise confultus Apollo : 
Ille idem fparfos longe lateque colonos 
Legibus in coetus aequis, atque oppida cogit ; 
ilinc hominum molliri animos, hinc mercibus optis 
Crefcere divitias et furgerc tefta Deorum. 
Talibus aufpiciis dobe conduntur Athense, 
Sic byrfa ingencem Didonis crevit in urbem 
Carthago regum domitrix ; fie aurea Roma 
Orbe triumphato nitidum caput intuljt aftris. 

Attempted in ENGLISH, 

T YN T E was the man who firft, from Britifli Ihort, 
Palladian arts to Carolina bore ; 
His tuneful harp attending Mufes fining, 
And Phoebus' Ikill infpir'd the lays he fung. 
Strong towers and palaces their rife began, 
And liilening ftones to facred fabricks ran. 
Juft laws were taught, and curious arts of peace, 
And trade's brifk current flow'd wjth wealth's increafe. 
On fuch foundations learned Athens rofe ; 
So Dido's thong did Carthage firft inclofe : 
So Rome was taught OLD Empires to fubdue, 
As Tynte creates and governs, nbw, the NEW, 
z Major Tynte, Governor of Carolina, 



ULY. Hp EL L me, old Prophet, tell me how, 

JL Eftate when funk, and pocket low, 

What fubtle arts, what fecret ways, 

May the defponding fortune raife ? 

You laugh : thus Mifery is fcorn'd ! 
TlR. Sure 'tis enough you are return M 

Home by your Wit, and view again. 

Your Farm of Ithac, and Wife Pen. 
ULY. Sage friend, whofe word's a law to me, 

My want and nakednefs you fee : 

The fparks, who made my wife fuch offers, 

Have left me nothing in my coffers ; 

They've kill'd my oxen, Iheep, and geefe, 

Eat up my bacon and my cheefc. 

Lineage and virtue, at this pufh, 

Without the gelt, 's not worth a rufli. 
TlR. Why, not to mince the matter more, 

You are averfe to being poor; 

Therefore find out forae rich old cuffi 

That never thinks he has enough : 

Have you a Swan, a Turkey-pye, 

With Woodcocks, thither let them fly 

The Firft-fruits of your early Spring, 

Not to the Gods, but to Him bring. 

Though he a foundling Baftard be, 

Convict of frequent perjury ; 

His hands with brother's blood imbrued, 

By juftice for that crime purfued. 

Never the wall, when alk'cl, refufe, 

Nor lofe your friend, to fave your fhoes. 
ULY. 'Twixt Damas and the kennel go ! 

Which is the filthieft of the two ? 

Before Troy-town it was not fo. 

There with the beft I us'd to ftriye. 
TlR. Why, by that means you'll never thrive. 
ULY. It will be very hard, that's true : 

Yet I'll my generous mind fubdua* 



Transition from T A S S O, Canto iii. St. 3. 

SO when bold Mariners, whom hopes of ore 
Have urg'd to feek fome unfrequented fhore: 
The fea grown high, and pole unknown, do find : 
How falfe is every wave, and treacherous every wind ! 
If wifli'd-for land ibme happier fight defcrics, 
Diftant huzzas, faluting clamours, rife : 
Each ftrives to fhew his mate th' approaching bay, 
Forgets paft danger, and the tedious way. 

From II E S I O D. 

W HEN Satu-rn reign'd in Heaven, his fubjefts here 
Array'd with godly virtues did appear ; 
Care, Pain, Old Age, and Grief, were banifh'd far, 
With all the dreaifof Laws and doubtful War : 
But chearful Friendfhip, mix'd with Innocence, 
I'eafled their underftanding and their fenfe ; 
Nature abounded with unenvied {lore, 
Till their di'fcreeteft wits could aik no more ; 
And when, by fate, they came to breathe their laft, 
Diffolv'd in fleep their flitting vitals pafs'd. 
Then to much happier manfions they remov'd, 
There prais'd their Gd, and were by him bclov'd *. 

VERSES left in the King of FRANCE'S Bed- 
chamber, after the Death of the Duke DE MONT- 

/~\ N ne fe jouvient que du Mai ; 
V^ Ingratitude regne au monde : 
L'lnjure fe grave au metal, 

Et le Bien-fait s'ecrit fur 1'onde. 
" That 5P,they were as happy as the day h long. KING. 


T H A M E and ISIS. 

SO the God Thame, as through fome pond he glides, 
Into the arms of wandering Ifis flides : 
His ftrength, her foftnefs, in one bed combine, 
And both with bands inextricable join 5 
Now no ccerulean Nymph, or Sea god, knows 
Where Ifis, or where Thame, diftin&ly flows ; 
But with a lafling charm they blend their ftreara, 
Producing one imperial River THAME. 

Of D R E A M S. 

" For a Dream cometh through the multitude of Bufinefs." 

Ecclef. T. 4. 

" Somnia, qua ludunt mente volitantibus umbris, 
" Non delubra deum ncc ab anhere numina mittunt 
' Sed fibi quifque facit," etc. PETR.ONIVS. 

TH E flitting Dreams, that play before the wind, 
Are not by Heaven for Prophefies defign'd ; 
Nor by ^ethereal Beings fent us down, 
But each man is creator of hi* own : 
For, when their weary limbs are funk in eafe, 
The fouls eiTay to wander where they pleafc ; 
The fcatter'd images have fpace to play, 
And Night repeats the labours of the Day. 

I waked, fpeaking thefe out of a Dream in the 


NATURE a thoufand ways complain?, 
A thoufand words exprefs her pains : 
But for her Laughter has but three, 
And verv fmall ones, HA, HA, HE ! 



One of Lord BLESSINGTON'S Similes in his Play, 
called, " The Loft Princefs, A TRAGEDY.'* 

BU T, as a Huntfman going out to hawk, 
And finds two Filberds growing on one flalk ; 
The one he cracks, and, finding it not fouxdy 
Fancies the other fo, that's on the ground. 

A PASSAGE from the fame PLAY. 

" Stand here alive ! 

" Nay, he fhall die," quoth he, " fo may I thrive. 

" That is to fay, One, Two, and likewife Three." 

To the firfl Knight thus inftantly fpake he, 

" I did condemn thee, therefore thou fhalt dye> 

4 * And for your death there's a neceffity ; 

For you have been the caufe of that fc Knight's death." 

Then, turning to the third Knight, thus he faith, 

" Thou haft not done what I commanded thee." 

And thus he caus'd them to be (lain all Three ! 

Another, from the fame. 

Upon a day, betwixt them two faid thus, 
A Lord is loft if he be vicious. 
And drunkennefs will be a foul record 

Of any man, and chiefly of a Lord : ^ 

For there are many an eye, and many an ear, 
Still waiting on a Lord, he knows not where. 
For God's love, therefore, drink more temperately ; 
Wine makes a man to lofe moft wretchedly, 
His mind, his fenfe, and his limbs every one. 

Thou lhalt fee the reverfe, quoth he, andii, 

And prove it by your own experience, -> 

That wine's not guilty of fo great offence. I 

There is no wine bereaves me of my fenfe. J 

b i, e, The ftttnd Knight. KING, 





I HEARD ycfterday, that on Friday laft your hopes of marry- 
ing the fair lady Melinda were all vanimed, and that (he is ia 
the embraces of your rival. I proteft, it made ftrong impreflions 
on me, fo that I fled to Boethius for Confolation. But, his no- 
tions being too philofophical for me (yet to comfort you I wa 
refolved), I fet myfelf to fearch my conftant guide in affairs of 
this life, to fee if I might find any thing that in fuch diftrefs 
might be an afliftance to my Friend. The guide I mention is 
my little Grammar, which, for the many Receipts, both in the 
Syntax and ^ui mill, may vie with any Philofopher who pre- 
tends to Morality or Politicks. I confidered, Why may not he, 
that treats fo much of Words and Speech, have fomething con- 
cerning Women, who have fo vaft a talent in them both ? and 
at leaft, if any thing concerning Matrimony may be found, it will 
be in his defoription of the Three Concords. I went therefor^ 
to my fate, and, as a lucky omen, the firit line I met with was, 
Omnia -vine it amor ; et ttos cedamtts amort : 
tf Love all things conquers ; e'en we yield to Love." 

And here, thought I, appears the caufe how fo ingenious, 
fedate, and thoughtful a man as my Friend could let himfelf bo 
ruffled with the paffion of Love : but it is like our Deftiny ; 
fooner or later we muft all come to it, and therefore, refinance 
being in vain, we ought to comply with its firft motions, that fo 
our doom may be quickly known, without the torment of ex- 
pectation : and this agrees excellently with the verfes of an old 
Friend of mine ; 

" Might o'ercomes Right; and powerful Love can conquer 
" The grey-hair'd Senator and fparkifh Yonker. 
" Then, fince this Love will conquer one by one, 
" Let's all agree to yield ; the work is clone." 
I had fcarce given myfelf time to look on the Book, but I again, 
caft my eye on a paiTage, -which I thought might juftify my 
Friend in his endeavours to " alter his condition," as the married 
people term it, which was this ; 

a 7 * M I S C E L L A N Y POEMS. 

Tempora mutantur et nos miitamur in illis. 
" The Times are chang'd ; and with them, chang'tl are we.'* 
But then I again cohfidered, that this change is not always for 
the better, and that it might happen to my Friend as it did to 
Jack Crofly, 

" Times change ; we change : but, Jack, it is thy curfe, 
" Ever to change, and ever for the worfe." 

So that there may happen that, in my Friend's cafe, a danger 
inay have been avoided, infteaxl of a blefling being loft. For 
we find in the Accidence, that happinefs in Marriage feems to be 
confined only to Kings and Queens. There is no fuch expreflion 
as Ricardus et Melinda funt beati, " Richard and Melinda are 
*' happy j" but only, Rex et Regina funt beati t " The King and 
' the Queen are happy ;" which made me fall into this pathetic 
exprellion j 

" If Kings and Queens are only to be blcft 
" When join'd together, e'en God help the reft !" 
fo that the Comforts of Matrimony feem to be the flowers and 
prerogatives of the Crown, never to be alienated. 

Indeed, let my Friend remember the troubles he underwentin 
his Courtfhip, the tempefts, the hopes, the jealoufies, the con- 
tempt, and the defpair ; and I think I ought to congratulate iny 
Friend's deliverance. To fee the hard-heartednefs of thefe 

Peftora percujjit, pe flits quoque roborafiunt, 
Upon winch, an Acquaintance of mine made this Paraphrafs ; 

** At Cynthia's feet, the victim of her eyes, 
a The wretched, fad, defpairing, Daruon lies, 
" And does fuch piteous tales of love fehiarfe 
" As might an adamantine fortrcfs pierce : 
44 He ftrikes his breaft, but>with a wondrous ftroke 
" J Tis Cynthia's breaft that hardens into oak. 
' Each fainting figh and each heart-rending groan 
" Increafe her inclinations to bejlone. 
" But,. O ! that ftone her charming beauty keeps j 
" Cynthia's the marble, but 'tis Damon weeps. 
I know my dear Friend, as he can have no defire of 'tor- 
ments, fo for the continuance of fuch, he has in him an infe- 
parable appetite after liberty, ami being the mafter of his time as 
7 welt 


well as inclinations. How fweet is the found of Diluculofurgere 
falnberrimuw f/f, when it can be pronounced without any one to 
contradict it ! 

" O, may your hours of life be unconfin'd, 

" And wear an equal freedom with your mind ! 

" And may no Screech-owl's voice from curtains prar, 

" How your diverting friends have kept you late ! 

" And, when Aurora rouzes you to wealth, 

" And with her fragrant dawn would give you health, 

" Obey her voice : and let it not be faid, 

" You were commanded then to lie in bed." 

I will detain you but with one contemplation more, which 
fhall be upon thefe words, in the fame place, 

Amantium iree amoris redtntegratio efl ; 

which plainly feems to me to defcribc this opinion of fome old 
Philofophers, that envy and ftrife were the firft principles of all 
things ; and that, when people had fought and fquabbled till 
they were weary, they became very loving, and fell to the pro- 
duction of creatures. I have fent you this Tranflation out of % 
Fragment which may belong to Lucretius or fome other Author : 

" Men fay, the goddefs Strife prefides above, 
" And caufes things, and mixes e'en with Love. 
" He that adores her muft expect her fcorn, 
* Whilft crowds of bleeding flaves her ftate adorn. 
" She wars, makes peace, is crofs, gay, four, and kind, 
" And flies the compafs of the various wind. 
" But, when (he feems the conquerefs in the field, 
" She'll in that unexpected minute yield. 
* Then let Hymen's rites begin ; 
" lo, triumph ; enter in. 
" But you that have th' inconftant torment got, 
" Confider not the fortune of your lot ; 
" That Go<ldefs, who now bears the name of Wife, 
" Was^-oar* for hours before ; now bis for life." 
For my part, I fhould not envy his bargain ; and I am fare I 
wifh you AS well as myfelf ; and J am, with all fmcerity, 

Your obliged Friend (though perhaps out of your memory) 

P. S. If you fliew this to any perfon breathing, 
you fhall furely b^ pinched by the Fairies. 

t *74 3 




A. WIDOW'D Friend invites a widow'd Mufe 

To tell the melancholy news, 

And cloath herfelf with fable weeds, 
Such as^vill (hew her heart with forrow bleeds ; 

With grief flie can't exprefs, 5 

But in foft moving verfe, 
Which melts to tears, like that dark night 
In which thou vanifhed'ft from fight, 
To mount the regions of eternal light. 
For Heaven, it feems, denied a longer date. 10 

Thy happy courfe was run, 

Thy bufmefs here was done, 
And thou art fct, like the all-glorious fun. 

Yet, juft before thy death, 

Thou rais'dft thy tuneful breath. 15 

Like dying fvvans at their approaching fate. 


Come hither, friendly Mufe, and tell 

How this good Prophet fell, 

That liv'd fo well : 
What fracy meflTenger durfl ftrike the blow z 

Of fatal Death, 

And leize his breath, 
Who always was in readinefs to go ? 

c Written by Mr. Oldifworth, who continued the Examiners when Dr. 
Swift had given them up, and whom our Author is fuppofed occafionally 
to have aflifted in thofe papers. Whatever may be thought of Mr. Oldif- 
worth's poetry, the warmth of friendfliip which breathes through this Pin- 
darick demand; our commendation. 



Could not thy wit command 

The Fugitive to ftand, *5 

Which others could forbid to die, 
And blefs their names with immortality ? 

Hadft thou but us'd thy art, 

Death would have dropt his dart, 
And wondaring flopt the preffure of his leaden hand. 30 


Alas, he's cold ! Oh, for a grave 

To bury the fad tale ; 

For rears will not prevail 
Where Humour, Wit, or Virtue, could not fave ! 

Learning we boaft in vain : 35 

A tomb is all we gain 
For a life fpent in ftudy and in pain. 

Wretched Mortality ! 

Couldft thou thyfelf but fee, 

Thou wouldft hate life as we love thee. 4? 

Why then fo fond to live are vain mankind ? 

Why all thofe joys purfue, 

That feem to make life new ? 
Becaufe they can no greater pleafures find. 

But thou, my Friend, didft higher go, 45 

Refolv'J fublimer things to know> 
Wing'd Heaven, and left us here below. 

How fhouldft thou live in fuch an age of vice ? 
The Phcenix only dwells in Paradifc. 

Earth was too narow for thy mind, 50 

And thou, to all its flatteries blind, 

Now in the bowers of blifs 
Scrikeft thy harmonious Lyre, 

Where endlefs Pleafures reign, 
And Peace and Piety remain 55 

Amidft the blifsful choir; 
Thou doft in all perfections fhine, 
And add'rt frefh luftre to the courts divine j 
T * 


Whilft we lament thy top, too early fate : 

But greateft bleffings have the fliortefl date. 6 

In mournful Poetry 

Our laft efforts we'll try, 
Who bcft can write upon a theme fo great. 


Like warriours well appointed for the fighr, 

PofTefs'd with generous rage, 6 $ 

Each Poet mould engage ; 

Each ftrive who beft could prove 

His duty or his love } 
Each freely pay his tributary mite. 
Well may we grieve, well may we mourn thy lofs, 7* 

From whom fo many drew 

Such Heliconian dew, 
From whofe fpring fuch influence flows. 

Thy wit did kindly give 

Food by which others live r 75 

Eor,. at thy call, mirth fat on every face ; 

The favage throng 

Folio w'd thy fong : 

Thus ravifh'd and amaz'd, 
They danc'd around in one harmonious pace ; . 

And ftill with awcful Clence gax'd. 


But why do I expostulate, 
Since forrow cosnes too late 

To- hinder thine or fave another's fate ? 

When Heaven doth a defiring foul receive, 8$ 

He fcems to envy, that pretends to grieve. ^ 

Of what ftrange atoms are we made, 
That we of Death fhould be afraid, 
That's but a ftill, refrcfhing dream ! 

Why fhould we dread to mix with Earth, ja 

Our parent-clay that gave us birth t 

Or meet the Tyrant who hath loll his ft'tng. 

The King of Terrors ; then no more a King-, 

But we triumphant o'er the Grave and Him ? 




The world, ungrateful, feKlom doth produce 95 

A fruitful harveft for a virtuous Mufe ; 

If Piety appear 

To crown the happy year, 
'Tis always with indifference heard, 

And with fuch cool regard, too 

The grudging foil juft nourilhment denies, 
And fo the hopeful plant too early dies ; 

Such marks of goodnef* feldom laft, 

But where they're rooted faft. 

Religion here and Duty eafy grew, 105 

Thy Loyalty no new-taught doftrines knew, 
But principles from education drew. 

Envy herfelf mutt flop cv'n here, 

Ami clofc the falfe malicious ear. 


Thy Virtue's fled beyond her poifonous blaft, uc, 

Which can no longer laft ; 
Since Heaven, from her peculiar care, 

Did for thy fame prepare, 

For fear the vicious world Ihould fpoil the growth, 
Have chang'd thy virtue, or debas'd thy worth ! S 

But pity 'twas that thou fliouldft die, 

Firft-born of modeft Poetry 5 

Pity, thy gaiety and wit, 
Should only now for worms be fit, 
And, mix'd with Nature's rubbifli, huddled lie ? *** 


C *?s ] 

R A P U L I A; 

o R, 

The Region of the CnopsicKs d : 

A Fragment, in the Manner of RABELAIS . 

-C H A P. L 

The Situation of the Country, 

/"""t RAPULIA is a very fair and large territory, which on the 
V_> North is bounded with the~ JEthiopic Ocean, on the Eaft 
with Laconia and Viraginia, on the South by Moronia Felix, 
and Weftward with the Tryphonian Fens. It lies in that part 
of the Univerfe where is bred the monftrous bird called Rue, 
that for its prey will bear off an Elephant in its talons ; and is 
defcribed by the modern Geographers. 

The foil ii too fruitful, and the heavens too ferene ; fo that I 
have looked upon them with a filent envy, not without pity, 
when I confidered they were bleffings fo little deferred by the in- 
habitants. It lies in feventy-four degrees of longitude, and fixty 
degrees of latitude, and eleven degrees diftanr from the Cape of 
Good Hope ; and lies, as it were, oppofite to the whole coaft of 
Africa. It is commonly divided into two provinces, Pampha- 
gonia and Ivronia, the former of which is of the fame length 
and breadth as Great Britain (which I hope will not be taken as 
any reflection), the other is equal to the High and Low Dutch 
Lands. Both obey the fame prince, are governed by the fame 
laws, and differ very little in their habit or their manners. 

d " A fatire on the Dutch," fays the Editor of Dr. Jting's " Re- 
* mains.". His conjecture may poffibly be right ; or, having Dr. King's 
papers jn his pofll-flion; it may even have appeared from them that fuch 
was the intention if it had been competed. But, in its prefent unfiniihed 
ftate, it muft be owned, there is no flrikjng refembJance. 

e Of whprn, fee above, p. 96. 


C R A P U L I A v &c. 379 

PAMPHAGONIA: or, Glutton* Paradlfc. 

PAMPHAGONIA is of a triangular figure, like that of 
antient jEgypt, or the Greek, letter Delta, A. It is moun- 
tainous, inclofed with very high hills : its foil is of the richeft, 
fo that birds which come thither to feed, if they tarry but three 
months, grow fo very fat and weighty, that they cannot fly back 
again over the mountains, but fuffer themfelves to be taken up 
in the hand, and are as delicious as the Ortolan or the Beccaficos 
of the Italians. And it is no wonder to them who know that 
Geefe in Scotland are generated from leaves fallen into the water, 
and believe the teftimonv of one of our EmbaiTadors- that in the 
North-Eaft parts of the world Lambs grow upon ftalks lika 
Cabbages and eat up the grafs all round about them, to find the 
fame fort of provisions in this country. Befides, the Filh upon 
that coaft are in fuch plenty, and fo voracious (whether they 
conform themfelves to the genius of the place and people, or 
prefage to thernfelves the honour of fo magnificent a fepulchrc 
as was given to Nero's Turbot), that, as foon as the hook is caft 
in, they prefs to it a$ the Ghofts in Lucian did to Charon's boat, 
and cling to the iron as Miners do to a rope that is let down 
when the light of their candle forebodes fome malignant exha- 

The fea-ports, with which this country abounds more than any 
other, are of no other wfe than to receive and take in fuch 
things as are edible, which they have for their fuperfluous wool 
and hides : nor may the inhabitants export any thing that has the 
kaft relation to the palate. You fee nothing there but Fruit- 
trees. They hate Plains,, Limes, and Willows, as being idle and 
barren, and yielding nothing ufeful but their ftjade. There are 
Hops, Pears, Plumbs, and Apples, in the hedge-rows, as there is 
jn all Ivronia ; from whence the Lombards, and fome counties 
in the Weft of England, have learned their improvements. In 
antient times, Frugonia, or the Land of Frugality, took in this 
country as one of its provinces ; and Hiftories tell us, that, in 
Saturn's time, the Frugonian Princes gave laws to all this part of 
the world, and had their palace there ; and that their country was 
called Fajjonia., rom the fimplicity of their diet, which confined 
T 4 only 

*8o C&APULIA: 

only in Beech-mart. But that yoke has been long ago fhaken off; 
their manners are wholly changed, and, from the univerfality of 
their food, they have obtained, in their own country language f 
the title of Pamphagones. 

The Flrfl Province 0/*PAMrHAGONiA. 

FRIVIANDY, or Tight-bittia (that we may take the pro* 
vinccs in their order), were it not for a temperament peculiar 
to the place, is rather of the hottcfl to produce thofe who are pro- 
perly called good Trencher-men. Its utmoft poinr, which other 
Geographers call the Promontory of the Terra Auftralis, is of 
the fame latitude as the moft Southerly parts of CafUle, and is 
about forty-two degrees diftant from the Equator. The inha- 
bitants have curled hair and dufky complexions, and regard more 
the delicacy than the largcncfs and number of their difhes. In 
this very promontory, which we fhall call the Black one from 
its colour (for it is a very fmbaky region, partly from the fre- 
quent vapours of the place, partly from its vicinity to the Terra 
del Fogo, which, by the common confcnt of Geographers, lies on 
the right-hand of it, but rather nearer than they have placed it) 
is the city Lucina, whofe buildings are lofty, but apt to be fmoaky 
and offenfive to the fmell ; from whence a colony went, perhapi, 
as far as the Indies, where it remains to this day by the name of 

Here is the famous temple of the great Deity Omafius Gorg-ut, 
or Gorbelly. It is a vaft pile, and contains a thoufand hearths, 
and as many altars, which are conftantly employed in the 
Rucal Feftivals. In the midft is a high pyramid, as lofty as the 
hand of man can eredl it, little inferior to thofe of Memphis. It 
is called the Cheminean Tower. This, rifmg high, gives the 
fignal of war to the adjoining countries : for, as we by Beacons 
lighted upon a high hill difcover the danger of an approaching 
enemy, fo thefe, on the contrary, do the fame by letting their 
fmoke ceafc and their fires go out : for, when the" perpetual va- 
pour ceaies to roll forth in chick and dark clouds of fmoke, it is 

a token 


a token that the Hambrians are drawing nearer, than whom there 
can be no enemy more terrible to this nation. There are feveral 
fmaller towns, that lie under the dominion of this fupreme city. 
Charbona is the largeft village, and, what is feldom feen elfc- 
where, lies all under ground. Upon its barren foil arifes an- 
other, though of lefs note, called Favillia. After thefe lies 
Tenaille, a narrow town, and Batillu, a broad one, both con- 
iiderable. On the left are fomc fubfervicnt petty hamlets, as 
Aflaclora, Marmitta, Culliera, as ufeful for the reception of 
ftrangers, amongfl which, that of Marmitta is watered by the 
river Livenza ; which, as is faid of a fountain in the Peak of 
Derby, boils over twice in four-and-twenty hours. 

The Second Province O/"PAMPHAGONIA. 

EXT to this is the Golofinian difrrit, the moil pleafanc 
part of Pamphagonia, covered with Dates, Almonds, Figs, 

Olives, Pomegranates, Oranges, Citrons, and Piftaches ; through 
which run the fmootheft of flrcams, called the Oglium. Here is 
the beautiful city of Marzapane, with noble turrets glittering 
with gold, but lying too open to the enemy. Over it hang the 
pucker hills, out of whofe bowels they draw fomething that is 
hard, white, and fparkling, but fweet as that moifture which the 

' Ancients gathered out of the reeds which grew in Arabia and 
the Indies. You mail find few people here, who are grown up, 
but what have loft their teeth, and have fUnking breaths. Near 
to this is the little city Seplaiium, which admits of no tradcfmen 
but Perfumers. It is a town of great commerce with the people 
of Viraginia, efpecially the Locanians, who ufe to change their 
Looking-glafs with them for Oils and Paftils. The agreeable- 
nefs of the place, and the bounty of the Heavens, is favourable to 
their art ; for the whole track of land, at certain feafons, is co- 
vered with aromatic comfits, that fall like hail-flones : which 
Anathumiafis I take to be eiTentially the fame as that aerial 
Honey which we often find upon our oaks, efpecially in the 
fpring, and that it differs only in thicknefi : for whereas that 


S C R A P U L I A*. 

Honey is fprinklcd in drops, the little globules are hardened by 
die intenfe cold of the middle region, and rebound in falling. 

Of the Third Province of PAMPHAGONIA. 

IN the fifty-fifth degree, we come into the plains of Lecania, 
and fo into the very heart of Pamphagonia, where the chief 
city we meet with is Cibinium, which is waihed with the acid 
ftreams of the river Aflagion. In the Forum, or market-place, 
is the tomb (as I conjecture by the footfteps of fome letters now 
remaining) of Apicius, that famous Roman, not very beautiful, 
but antique. It is engraved upon the fhell of a Sea-crab ; and it 
might happen, notwithftanding what Seneca fays, that this fa- 
mous Epicure, after having fought for larger Shell-fim than the 
coafts of Gallia could fupply him with, and then going in vain 
to Africa to make a farther enquiry, might hear fome rumour 
concerning this coafr, fteer his courfe thither, and there dvc of a 
furfett. But this I leave to the Criticks. Here I lhall only 
roentjon the moft fertile fields of Lardana and Offulia. The 
delicious fituation of Mortadella, the pleafanteft of places, had 
.vontk-rfully delighted me, had it not been for the Salt-works 
which often approach too near it. There is an offenfive ftinking 
town called Formagium, alias Butterboxia, and Mantica a boggy- 
place near the confines of Ivronia. 

I halTcn to the metropolis of the whole region, which, whether 
you refpeft the uniformity of the building, the manners of the 
people, or their way of living, their rules for behaviour, their 
law and juftice, will (hew as much as if I wers to defccnd to 


Of 'lie Metropolis O/'PAMPHAGONIA, and the CvJIoms of the 

are but very few villages in this country, as well 
JL as in fome others ; from whence a Traveller may conjec- 
ture/ that die country-towns are devoured by the cities, which 


A F R A G M E N T. iSj 

3re not fo many in number as they are large and populous ; of 
which the mother and governefs is called Artocreopolis. The 
report goes, that in ancient times there were two famous cities, 
Artopolisand Creatimn, which had many and long contefts about 
the fuperiority : for fo it happens to places, as well as men, that 
increafe in power ; infomuch as the two moil flourifhing Uni- 
verfities in the world (to both of which I bear the relation of a 
Sou, though I am more peculiarly obliged to one of them for my 
education), notwithftanding they are filters, could not abllaia 
from fo ungrateful a contention. 

Artopolis boafled of its antiquity, and that it had flourifhed in 
the Saturnian age, when it had as yet no rival. Creatium fee 
forth its own fplendour, pleafantnefs, and power. At laft, i 
council being called, Creatium got the preference by die uni- 
verfal votes of the aflernbly = for fuch is the iniquity of the 
times, that though the head be covered with grey hairs, yet no- 
thing is allowed to the reverence of Antiquity, when encountered 
by a proud and upftart Novelty. The other city is now fo far 
negle&ed, that the ruins or footfteps of its magnificence are 
fcarce remaining, any more than of Verulam, as is moft ele- 
gantly fet forth by our noble Poet Spenfer iu his verfes on that 
iui>jet; the latter ufurping the name of the other, as well as 
the other has now the double title of Artocreopolis. The city 
is more extenfive than beautiful : it is fortified with a large and 
deep ditch of running water, which waflies almoft all the ftreets, 
wherein are a thoufand fevyal ponds for Fifli ; upon wlikh fwim 
Ducks, Geefe, Swans, and all forts of Water-fowl, which has 
been wifely imitated by the people of Augfburg. This ditch 5; 
called Grueffa. There are two waits, vvtefe materials were fur- 
nilhcd by the Flefh-market ; for they are made of Bones, the 
larger ferving for the foundations, the leiTer for the fuporftruc- 
ture, whilft the frnalleft fill up what is wanting in the middle ; 
being all cemented with the Whites of Eggs, by a wonderful 
artifice. The houfes are not very beautiful, nor built high after 
;he manner of other cities ; fo that there is no need of an Aa- 
euftus to reftrain the buildings to the height of feventy feet, a? 
was done at Rome ; nor is there room for a Seneca or Juvenal 
fo complain of the multitude of their flairs and number of 
their ftories. 

2*4 C R A P U L I Ai 

They have no regard for Stair-cafes ,- for indeed none of the 
citizens care for them, partly from the trouble f getting up 
them (efpecially when, as they often do, they have drunk hearti- 
ly) as much as for the danger of getting down again. Their 
houfes are all covered with large bladebones, very neatly joined 
together. There are no free citizens admitted, but fuch whofe 
employment has more immediately fome relation to the Table. 
Hufbandmen, Smiths, Millers, and Butchers, live in their colo- 
nies, who, when they have a Belly of an unwieldy bulk, are pro- 
moted to be Burgefles ; to which degree none were anciently ad- 
mitted but Cooks, Bakers, Victualers, and the graveft Senators, 
who are chofen here, as in other places, not for their prudenct, 
riches, or length of beard ; but for their meafure, which they 
inuft come up to yearly if they will pretend to bear any office in 
the public. As any one grows in dimenfions, he rifes in ho- 
nour ; fo that I have fcen fome who, from the meaneft and moft 
contemptible village, have, for their merits, been promoted to a 
more famous town, and at laft obtained the fcnatorial dignity in 
this moft celebrated city : and yet, when by fome difeafe (as it 
often happens), or by age, they have grown leaner than they art 
allowed to be by the Statutes, have loft their honour, together 
with the bulk of their carcafe. Their rtreets were paved with 
polifhed Marble ; which feemed ftrangc amongft a people fo in- 
curious, both becaufe the workmanmip was troublefome, and 
there might be danger in its being flippery. But the true reafon 
of it was, that they might not be forced to lift their feet higher 
than ordinary by the inequality of the pavement, and likewifc 
that the chairs of the fenators might the more eafily be puflied 
forward : for they never go on foot, or on horfe-back, nor even in 
a 6oach, to the Exchange, or their public feafts, becaufe-of their 
weight ; but they are moved about in great eafy Elbow-chairs, 
with four wheels to them, and continue fitting fo fixed, in the 
fame pofture, fnoring and ilabbcring till they are wheeled home 

At the four gates of tliis city, whofe form is circular, there 
fit in their turns as many fenators, who are called Bufcadores. 
Thefc carefully examine all who come in and go out : thofe that 
go out, left they Ihould prefunis by chance to do it failing, which 
they can eafily judge of by the extent of their bellies ; and, the 
matter being proved, they are fined jn a double fupper : thofe 
* that 

A F R A G M'E N T. 285 

that come in, to fee what they bring with them upon their re- 
turn ; for they muft neither depart with empty ftomachs, nor 
come back with empty hands. Every month, according to the 
laws, which they unwillingly tranfgrefs, there are ftated Feafts, 
at which all the fenators are obliged to be prefent, that after 
dinner (for no perfon can give his vote before he has dined) 
they may deliberate concerning the public affairs. The name of 
their Common-hall is Pythanos-come f . Every one knows his 
own feat, and his conveniences of a clofe-flool, and a couch to 
repofe upon when the heat of their wine and feafoned dainties- 
incline them to it. Their greateft delicacies are ferved up at the 
firft courfe ; for they think it foolilh. not to eat the beft things 
with the greateft appetite : nor do they cut their Boars, Sheep, 
Goats, and Lambs, into joints, or quarters, as commonly we do, 
but convey them whole to table, by the help of machines, as I 
remember to have read in Pctronius Arbiter. They are fineable 
who rife before they have fet fix hours ; for, when the edge of 
their ftomach is blunted, they do, what they call, " fit and pid- 
" die." They eat and drink fo leifurely, for the fame reafon as 
the famous Epicure of old wilhed that his neck were as long as 
a Crane's. They meafure the feafonable time for their departure 
after this method : they have a door to their Town-houfe, which 
is wide enough for the largell man to enter when he is failing ; 
through this the guefts pafs ; and when any one would depart, 
if he flops in this paflage, he is trulled to go out at another door ; 
but if it be as eafy as if he were fading, the Mafter of the Cere- 
monies makes him tarry till he comes to be of a ftatutable mag- 
nitude : after which example, Willfrid's needle in Belvoir Caftle t 
was a plcafant trial of Roman Catholic fanlity. They have 
Gardens of many acres extent, but not like tliofe of Adonis or 
Alcinoiis ; for nothing delightful is to be expected in them,, nei- 
ther order, nor regularity cf walk, nor grafs-plots, nor variety of 
flowers in the borders ; but you will find all planted with Cab- 
bages, Turnips, Garlick, and Muik-melons, which were carried 
hence to Italy, and are in quantity fufEcient to feaft an hundred 

There is a public College, or Hcfpital, whither they are fent 
^ho haye got the Dropfy, Gout, or Afthma, by their eating and 

f The Devil take the hindmoft. KING. 

f The beautiful refidsnce cf the duke of Rutland, 

drinking ; 


drinking ; and there they are nourifhed at the public expence. 
As for fuch as have loft their teeth by their luxury, or broken 
them by eating too greedily or incautioufly, they are provided 
for in the Ifland of Sorbonia. All the richer fort have feveral 
fervants, in the nature of vaffals, to cultivate their gardens, and 
be employed in inferior offices, who have their liberty when 
they can arrive at fuch a bulkinefs. If any of the Grandees 
of the country die of a furfeit, he is given, as being all made 
vp of the moft exquifite dainties, to be eaten up by his fer- 
vants } and this they do that nothing fliould be loft that is fo de- 
licate. The men are thick and fat to a miracle ; nor will any 
one falute another, whofe chin does not come to the midft 
cf his breaft, and his paunch fall to his knees. The women 
are nor unlike them, and in fhape refemble the Italians, and 
have breafts like the Hottentots. They go almoft naked, having 
no regard to their garments. The magiftrates and perfons of 
better figure have gowns made of the (kins of fuch beafts as 
they have eaten at one meal. All wear a knife, with a large 
fpoon, hanging upon their right-arm. Before their breafts they 
wear a fmooth fkin, inftead of a napkin, to receive what falls out 
of their mouths, and to wipe them upon occafion ; which whe- 
ther it be more black or greafy, is hard to determine. 

They are of a very flow apprehenfion, and no way fit for any 
fcience ; but yet underftand fuch arts as they have occafion for. 
Their Schools are Public-houfes, where they are educated in the 
fciences of Eating, Drinking, and Carving ; over which, one 
Archifilenius, an exquifite Epicure, was then Provoft, who, in- 
ftead of Grammar, read fome Fragments of Apicius. Inftead of 
a Library, there is a public repofuory of Drinking-veflels, in 
which Cups of all orders and fixes are difpofed into certain 
clafles. Cups and Difhes are inftead of Books. The younger 
Scholars have lefs, the elder have greater ; one has a Quart, the 
other a Pottle, the other a Gallon t this has a Hen, that a Goofe, 
a third a Lamb or a Porker : nor have they any liberty, or 
recefs, till the whole is finifhed ; and if, by a feven years fluf- 
fing, they are no proficients in Fatnefs, are prefently baniflied 
into the Fancetic Iflands ; nor are they fuffered long to ftay there 
idle and without improvement. Hither likewife are fent all 
Phyficians who prefcribe 3 courfe of diet to any perfon. When 



any one is Tick, without recourfe to ^Efculapius, they make him 
eat Radifh, and drink warm Water ; which, according to Celfus, 
will purge and vomit him. Venifon is that which they moft 
delight in ; but they never take it in Hunting, but by Nets and 
Gins. They look upon the Swine as the moft profitable and 
heft of all animals ; whether it is for the likenefs of its manners, 
as being good for nothing but the table, or elfe from its growing 
fat on the fudden with the worft of nutriment. It may not 
feem credible ; yet parfimony appears in the midft of their pro- 
fufeneis : but then it is very ill placed, for it is in Crumbs, 
Bones, and Crufts. They do not fo much as keep any Dogs, 
Cats, Hawks, or any thing that eats flefli. If any Perfon fuflfer 
meat to ftink, he is impaled j but Venifon and Rabbits are to 
have the baut-gout : and then their Cheefe is kept till it is over- 
run with little Animals, which they devour with Muftard and 
Sugar. This is an odd fort of cuftom, derived from the Dutch. 
The country abounds with Rivers, which ebb and flow ac- 
cording to their digeftion, and generally overflow at the begin- 
ning of January, and towards the end of February, and do mif- 
chief to the neighbouring country. 


Of tie Wars of the PAMPHAGONIANS. 

TH E Pamphagones have perpetual wars with the Harn- 
brians, or the Fancetic Iflands, and the Frugonians. * * 

* **->*.##**#** 

Catera defunt. 


t 3 


To my Honoured Friend Sir EDMUND WARCUPP, 
of Oxfordshire, Knight h . 


T SHALL make you but a bar! return for lending me thefe 
JL Memoirs, by fending them back in my Englifh. However, 
I did not think I could he too intent upon them, when, the 
longer I rend and confidered this Book, the chara&ers of two 
fuc h Brothers as the Duke of Bouillon and Marefchal Turenne 
raifed in me a true and more lively idea of your Sons, the 
Colonel and the Captain. It is true, that the former, being 
born Princes, became great Generals ; but then they lived long 
in the world to obtain it : whereas the other tiuo Brothers, though 
cut off in their bloom, had done more than any of fuch an age 
could do, towards equalling their great examples. 

The Battle of Sedan, in which the duke of Bouillon got his 
greateft glory, has nothing more confiderable in it than the 
aftion by which he gained the enemy's cannon : and, upon readt 
ing this, who could not but have an image of colonel Warcupp's 
bravery in the battle of Steynkirk ', where he drove the French 
from their cannon, and laid his own half-pike upon them. In 
the fame battle, when the count de Soiffons fhoukl have received 
the advantage of the victory, it is with furprize that we find 
him dead. This naturally brings captain Warcupp to our re- 
membrance, who, when he fhould have received the new com- 
mands which for his valour the King defigned him, was (in- 

h Prefixed by Dr. King to " New Memoirs and Characters of the 
* Two Great Brothers, the Duke of Bouillon and Marefchal Turenne." 
Tranfiated by him, from the French, in 1693. 

In this batile, which was fought Aug. 3, 1692, the Confederate' were 
commanded by king William in ^erfon, and the French by the duke of 
Luxemburg. The EngliRi were forced to retreat, with the lois of kve.'al 
th,ouund brave officers and foldiers. 



Read of enjoying the reward) found mortally wounded in his 
Majefty's fervice. 

This, to a common Reader, may fecm a melancholy and dn 
improper addrefs to a Father ; but then they muft be ignorant 
of the greatnefs of Sir Edmund Warcupp's mind, and his true 
notions of honour. Lacedaemon heretofore gloried in fo great a 
man as Thrafibulus, who, rc-ceiving his fon Pitanas dead upon 
a fhield in his country's fervice, interred him with thefe ex- 
preflions : " Let other Fathers fhed tears ; I will not. This 
" Youth died like mine, like a Spartan." 

England has reafon to boaft of a double honour in Sir Edmund 
Warcupp, who, with fuch an evennefs of temper and heroic 
patience, could bear the lo'fs of two Sons, fo young, fo brave, fo 
very much his own, and fb true Englifhmen. 

As for my own part, were I to be a Father, I fh'ou'ld wifh for 
fuch Sons j and, muft they die ! I would lofe them after the 
fame manner. And I am filre that, in bearing of my misfortune, 
I could have no better pattern than yourfelf. 

But, in the circumftances I am in at prefent, there is nothing 
I am more ambitious of, than to be admitted amongil the num- 
ber of, 

S I R, 

Your moft faithful friends, 

and humble fervants, 

W. K I N C. 

Vo L. III. tJ II. To 

L 190 1 


To the Right Honourable LORDS and GENTLEMEN;, 
Members of the Immortal BEEF-STEAK CLUB . 


IT is generally prefumecl,, that a Mifcellany Ihould confift of 
what the world moft delights in, that is, Variety. There 
the Serious may find Contemplation .; the Witty, Mirth; the Po- 
liticians, State Maxims ; the Humouribme, frefh Airs 5 the Amo- 
ious, new Sonnets ; true Worth may gain Preferment, and Vice 
meet with its due Correction : in ftiort, it fliould contain fuch 
things as may fatisfy the mind when its thoughts incline either 
to Infti uftion or Pleafure. It feems, therefore, moft proper that 
fuch a Mifcellany mould be dedicated to iome Club, or col- 
kdion of perfons ; that, if any part (hould not pleafe all, yet it 
may have its lucky chance, and at one time or another find 2 
Patron amongft iome of them. To whom then mould the Au- 
thor addrefs, fooner than to the noble BEEF-STEAK-CLUB, 
where every valuable quality reigns differently, but are all cc- 
merited by t^ie ties of good-nature and good-humour? When 
Dido laid the foundations of Carthage, fhe enclofed her fubjels, 
the wife and valiant Phoenicians, within the compafs of a thong, 
which fhe cut out of an Ox's hide ; and from thence arofe a for- 
midable Empire: So this Club, under the denomination of ano- 
ther part of the Ox, comprehends perfons of fuch valour, worth, 
and conduct, as may render their Country happy, and their 
Miilrefs great and glorious. 

But now to the Meat Beef has been that which has al~ 
ways reliflied with the world, either whole or in pieces, in ima-r 
gination or reality. Jupiter made his court to Europa in the 
lhape of a. Bull, and brought her over to this continent, which 
Hill retains her name : it was the fame Jupiter who turned the 
fair lo to a beautiful Cow, and fo preferved his Miilrefs from 
the fury of his Wife, and for a reward caufed her to be wor- 

k Prefixed to a Collection of our Author's Mifcellanies, publi/hed by 
himfelf, in one volume 8vo, In or about the year 1709. 

1 See an account o( Eikourt, their Proveditor, above, p. 86 ; and fome 
firther particulars oi him, in the Observations annexed to this Volume. 



ihi}x:d throughout all -&gypt. Pafiphae fell in lve with a 
natural Bull, and fo got a whimfical heir to the Cretan king- 
dom. But now, fmce the Britons have brought the French 
Mufiirooras, Trufles, and Kickfhaws, into contempt, people 
begin to relinquish Fables, and come to Iblid Beef and fat Lin- 
colnfiiire Oxen. Patroclus and Achilles of old delighted mod in 
Chines, Barens, Ribs, and Surloins roafted ; and that not without 
reafon, for they are excellent. Guy of Warwick regaled him- 
felf with boiled Rumps, Buttocks, Flanks, and Brifkets, not lefs 
admirable. There is no reafon but to believe that Beef-fteaks, 
when nicely broiled with the Gravy in them, may produce as 
good blood and vigorous fpirits as either of the former ; feeing 
they, approaching neareft to the fire, the place of greateft danger, 
have confequently gained to themfelves the pofl of honour. 
Such brax'ery cannot fail of fuccefs ; and I doubt not but in a 
little while the Members of this Club will be able to broil theic 
Steaks upon the magnificent and ftupendous Gridiron of the Ef- 
cuiial. In the mean time, I defire them to accept of the hearty 
wiihes foe their profperity, of 

Their moft obedient humble fervant, 



To the Reverend Dr. KNIPE, Matter of Weftminfter 


*T* HOUGH I have loft my natural Parents, who were moft 
X. indulgent to me, and the great Dr. Buiby , whofe me- 


Prefixed to " An Hiflorkal Account of th; Heathen Cods and 
' Heroes," printed in the beginning of the year 1711. 

iv Thomas Knipe, D. D. was alfo a prebendary of Weflminfter. H 
did not long furvive the date of this Dedication j dying 8 Id. Aug. 1711, 
sged 73. His epitaph is printed in Dart's Hirtory of that Abbey. 

Richard Bufby, D. D, was born Sept. -22, 1606 j and, having paffed 
V z through 

292. TO b R. K N I P & 

mory to rfte fliall be for ever facred ; yet, I thank God, I have 
a Mafter ftill remaining, to whom-I may pay my duty and ac- 
knowledgment for the benefits I have received by my educa- 
tion. It is in fome meafure to exprefs this duty, that I lay the 
following papers before you, expecting pardon for the faults that 
may be in them, from your innate goodnefs, which I have fo 
often experienced. 

The fubiect of the Poetical Hiftory has excrcifed the pens of 
Clemens Alexandrinus, Laftantius, Minutius Felix, Arnobius, 
St. Aufdn, and the learned Biihops Fulgentius and Eufrathius ; 
and is uieful, not only for the better knowledge of the Clafficks 
and all other polite Literature, but even of the Holy Scriptures 
themfelves. It mult be acknowledged, that the utmoil end of 
your inftruftion tends tp the understanding of the Text of the 
Holy Bible in all the learned Languages ; and the Fundamentals of 
our Religion, as taught in the Catechifin, Nine and Thirty 
Articles, and Homilies, of the Church of England : fo thar whofo- 
ever has had the happinefs of an education under you at Wc(l- 
minfter mutt attribute it to his own neglecl, if he be not a good 
Chriftian, and consequently a loyal Subjeft. That, by your 
wholefome inltruftions to the young Gentlemen of this nation, 
you may long contribute to the good of the Church and State, 
and the honour of her Majefty's Royal Foundation in which 
you are fo eminently placed, is the hearty wifh of, Sir, 

Your moft dutiful and- obedient fervant, 


through the clafles of Weftminfter School as a king's fcholar, was elected 
ftudent of Chrift Church in 1614; made prebendary of Wells and 
reftor of Cudworth, July i, 1639; mafter of Weftminfter School, Dec. 
13,1640; and by his fkill and diligence in the difcharge of this moft 
laborious and important office for the fpace of fifty-five years, bred up the 
greateft number of eminent men, in church and ftate, that ever adorned 
at one time any age or nation. He was inftalled prebendary of Weft- 
minfler, July 5, 1660 ; died April 6, 1695, aged 89 ; and was buried in 
Weftminfter Abbey, where a fine monument is erected to his memory* 

IV. Te 

*To the moft Noble Prince HENRY SOMERSET 
Duke of BEAUFORT, Marquis and Earl of WOR- 
and Lord of CHEPSTOW, RAGLAND, andGowER, 
Lord-Lieutenant of the County of SOUTHAMPTON, 
Lord Warden of the New Foreft, and One of Her 
MAJESTY'S moft Honourable Privy Council, &c. * 

May it pleafe your GRACE, 

TH E fubjeft of the following papers makes it feem proper 
that they fliouid be prefented to your Grace : for, fince 
you have been admitted to her Majefty's Council, it is convenient 
you fliould fee all the meafures that have been taken by perfons 
advanced to the like ftation. Mr. Gabriel Naude r , who was 
the Author of the French from which this is a Tranflation, is 
accounted one of the moft celebrated geniufes of the latter age, 
for his knowledge of men and books, the variety and extenfive- 
nefs of his conversation, and his good fortune in being admitted 
to the fervice of the moft illuftrious perfons then in Europe. 
His wifclom, prudence, good humour, and temperance, recom- 
mended him fo far, that, having ftudied Phyfick in Padua, with 
the famous Mr. Patin, under Mr. Moreau, and being returned 
from his travels, he was, in the year 1630, being then about 

P Prefixed to " Political Confiderations on Refined Politicks, See." 
tranflated from the French of Gabriel Naudatus in 1711. 

<1 See a poem, addrefled to this noble peer, above, p. 237. He fuo 
ceeded to his grandfather's titles in 1699, and died in 1714. His grace 
was twice married, and had the misfortune to lofe both ladies in child- 
bed ; the firft of them (lady Mary Sackvile, only daughter to Charles earl 
of Dorfet) in 1705, without iflue ; the fecond (lady Rachel Noel, fecond 
daughter to Wrioihefley Baptift earl of Gainfborough) in September 1709. 
By the fecond duchefs, he had three fons, two f which fuccefiively in- 
herited the titles. ' 

r He was born at Paris, Feb. 11, 1600, 

VOL. III. X thirty, 


thirty, fent by Cardinal Richlieu s upon an efpecial occafion 
to Rome, where he remained above twelve years as Library- 
keeper* to the Cardinal de Bagni, a perfon that had improved 
himfelf fo far in all good Authors relating to Politicks, and 
cfpecially in Ariftotle's Rhetorick, which was his favourite, that 
Cardinal Pamphilio, who afterwards fucceeded by the name of 
Innocent the Tenth u , faid, he feared no other rival befides him 
for the popedom ; but death prevented it. Mr. Naude was after- 
wards Library-keeper to Antonio Barbarini, nephew to Pope 
Urban VIII w . Upon his coming back from Rome, he was ad- 
mitted into the fervice of the Cardinal Mazarine *, of whofe 
penetration into mankind the whole world is fenfible. To thefc 
patrons be owed his preferments of canon of Verdun and 

5 John Armaud du Pleflis de Richlieu, the illuftrious ftatefman of 
France, was born Sept. 5, 1685 3 obtained a difpenfation for being made 
biflrop of Lucon at the early age of 22 } was dignified with the title of car- 
dinal ini6z2 ; was prime minifter in 1624, and died in 1642. The hiilorjr 
of his lite would be the hiftory of France. We fhall therefore only add, 
that, amidft other qualifications, his various political treatifes demonstrate 
him to have been an able writer} he was alfo a poet, and, in the true 
fpifit of that gcnui irritaiile, is faid to have envied Corneille the glory of 
his " Cid," and to have obliged the French academy to publifli a cri'- 
tidfm in 1637 to its difadvantage. 

1 He had been before employed in a like capacity by Henry de Mefmc 3, 
prefident a mortier. 

u He filled the pontifical chair from 1644 to 1655. 

V7 Better known by the name of Cardinal MafTeo Barbarini. He was 
advanced to the pontifical chair in 1623, and died July 29, 1644. He 
was equally famous for the variety of his learning and the elegance of 
his genius. His Latin poems were re- published, by Jof. Browne, A. M. 
in 1726. 

* This celebrated fucceflbr of Richlieu had the happinefs of ccm- 
pleating many of the great plans his predeceflbr had fchemed, but left 
unfiniihed.- Naudssus founded for this minifter a library of 40,000 volumes, 
at that period an immenfe collection ; but had the mortification, on the 
cardinal's difgrace^ of feeing the whole, which he had collefted wilh fo 
much labour, difperfc-d. JCaudzus himfelf purchased all the books in 
.ph-yfic, for 35colivres. His abilities in the felecling of books may be 
difcovered in his " Avis pour drefler un Bibiiotheque," which was tranf- 
latedjinto English, under the title of " Inftru&ions for creating a 
" Library, written by Gabriel ,Nau<le, publiihed in Engli/h, with fomi 
.*' Jinfrovcments, by John Evelyn, Efij. Lend. 1661." 



prior of Artige in the Limoifin. Queen Chriftina, who re* 
folved to make Sweden famous by her encouragement of learn- 
ing, invited him to Stockholm, where ihe fhewed him particular 
marks of her efteem. Upon his journey thence, he died at 
Abbeville, July 29, 1653, and fo hindered us from feveral things 
he had defigned to perfect Y. Pardon this fhort account of the 
Author ; for it is in fome meafure an apology for the prefumption 
of the Dedication > for I would have nothing approach your 
Grace, but what had formerly been fo far received in the world 
as that it might juftify its appearance once again in publick. 

The Author, in his Work, has made a fufficient apology for 
his fearching fo far into " the Secrets of State;" and fhewn that 
a great fpirit can have no prejudice, but rather reap advantage, 
from the difcovery of them. Now if Youth, under all the 
temptations of the world, can produce commendable actions fit- 
ting the dignity of a perfon's birth and grandeur ; if the ftridteir. 
rules of ceconomy are preferved, and temperance mixed with the 
fweeteft affability be always the product of his converfation, 
either in friend (hip or conjugal affection, the niceft trials of huma- 
nity; what may be expected from the finifhed years of fuch a. 
one, when he knows the rocks and quick-fands he is to avoid, 
and has no other port in view but where his anceftors fafely 
harboured ? It cannot be doubted, therefore, but the virtues 
and honour inherent in your Grace's family and perfon will al- 
ways conduct you through the difficulties of ftate affairs, and 
guard you againft the crafts of policy, preferving you in the love 
of your countrymen and the favour of your Prince. 

That your Grace will accept of this firfl eMay of my gratitude, 
is the utmoft ambition of your Grace's 

Moil obliged, moft dutiful, humble fervant, 


y Naudsus was very prudent and regular in hss conduft, very fober, 
never drinking any thing but water. Study being his principal occupation, 
he wrote a great number of books; from which Mr. Bayle embellished 
his Dictionary with many extracts. 


C *9* 1 


VOL. I. p. i. It Ihould have been mentioned, that another 
young ftudent of Chrift- Church, Mr. Edward Hannes, had a 
hand in the " Reflections on Varillas." This gentleman was, in 
1690, elected profellbr of chemiftry; and was the author of 
federal ingenious Latin poems, fome of which are printed in the 
" Mufae Anglicanse" and in other Mifcellanies. _ Mr. Addifon, 
has addrelfcd a Poem, " Ad D. D. Hannes, infigniffimum Medi- 
' cum et Poetam." 

P, 2. M. Varillas intituled his book, " Hiftoirc dcs Revolutions 
" arrivees en Europe en matiere de Religion." Paris, 6 vols. 410, 
1636, &c. ; and again in 1687, izmo. It was alfo printed in both 
fizes at Paris in 1690; and had before been published at Amfter- 
dam. It begins with the year 1374, and ends in 1650. At the 
head of the ftrft volume, Varillas had put the following adver- 
tifement : " In composing this work, I have taken my materials 
" indifferently from Catholic and Protcftant writers ; citing thclc 
" laft in their own words as often as I found them ingenuous 
" enough nor to fupprefs or difguife the moft important truths ; 
*' and it is through their own fault that I have been obliged to 
'* have recourfe to the Catholicks." 

P. 5. 1. 1 8. This extraft of M. Hozier's letter is cited in the 
Preface to M. Larroque's " Nouvelles Accufations centre M. 
*' Varillas, ou Remarques Critiques centre une partie de fon 
" premier livre de 1'Hiftoire de rHerefie. Amftelod. 1687." 

Ibid. 1. 27. It Ihould be obferved, in juftice to Varillas, that 
he denied this matter of the penfion. It is true, Le Long tells 
us (Biblotheque Hiftorique de la France, art. VARILLAS), " that 
" he was offered fuch by feveral French noblemen, as well as by 
*' foreigners ; which he always refufed : and particularly the 
" States of Holland offered him one, in 1669, to write their 
*' hiftory ; but he alfo refufed this, by tlie advke of M. Pom- 
" pone. He accepted that only of the clergy of France, which 
" M. dc Harlai, Archbifhop of Paris, had procured for him." 
But Varillas contradifts this ; and, in his anlwer to Burner, fays, 
" that he never accepted the penfion which M. Harlai had ob- 
*' tained for him from the clergy of France in 1670 ; nor yet that 
*' which he procured of the King for him, charged upon the ab- 
" bey of La Viftoire, in 1674; and that all that he received by 
*' the Archbifliop's means was, a prefent from the aflembly of the 
" Clergy in 1670, and a grant from the King of two thoufand 
" livres in 1685." See Niceron's Memoires, torn. V. p. 64. Paris, 
1728, 8vo. 

P. 93. July 24, 1775, the Emprefs beftovvcd on the marflial 
Romanzow an eftate of 5000 Pealants, 100,000 roubles in money; 
a fervic of plate j a Iwt with a wreath of laurel, enriched with 



precious ftones to the value of 30,000 roubles, a diamond flar 
and fhoulder-knot, &c. &c. 

P. 135. Dr. Richard Bentlcy z was l>orn at Wakefield in York- 
Ihire, Jan. z-j, 1661-2, and received there the firft part of his educa- 
tion; whence being removed to St. John's college, Cambridge, he 
followed his ftudies with indefatigable induftry. In 1689, being 
then matter of arts, he was incorporated in the fame degree at 
Wadham college, Oxford. Oft. 2, 1692, he was inftalled in a 
prebend at Worcefter, by Bp. Stillingfleet, to whom he was 
domertic chaplain ; and whofe recommendations, with thofe of 
Bp. Lloyd, obtained f9r him the honour of opening Mr. Boyle's 
famous lefturcs. In April 1694, he obtained the patent of keeper 
of the royal library; itt 1700, was prefented to the mafter- 
fliip of Trinity college ; was collated archdeacon of Ely, 
June 12, 1707; had a good benefice in that ifland ; and was 
chaplain to queen Anne, as he had been to king William. In 
1709, a complaint was hid againft him by feveral of the fellows, 
before the bifhop of Ely as vifitor, which, after above twenty 
years continuance, was terminated in his favour. In 1717, he 
had another difputc with his college, on the fees of creation fora 
doftorate ; on which occalion he was fufpended and degraded ; 
but reflored by a mandamus from the king's bench. He died 
July 14, 1742. 

Ibid. Dr. Aldrich died Dec. 14, 1710. He was a learned 
and pious Divine ; a warm zealot for the church intereit ; a 
flout champion for the prerogatives of the Crown ; and made 
himfelf famous, by contriving the hicroglyphical figures of the 
Oxford Almanacks ; in fomc of which, many people fancied 
ftrange allufions, particularly in favour of the Pretender. 

Ibid. Mr. Charles Boyle, born in Auguft 1676, was entered, when 
only 1 5, of Chriil Church, Oxford. He fucceeded to the title of 
arl of Orrery, Aug. 23, 1703, on the death of his elder brother 
Lionel, and had a regiment given him ; was elefted a knight of 
the thiftle, Oft. 13, 1705 ; railed to the rank of major general in 
1709, and fworn of the privy council. At the time the peace of 
Utrecht was fettling, he was appointed envoy extraordinary to the 
ftates of Flanders and Brabant, Jan. n, 1710-11; and, for his 
fervices, was created baron Boyle of Marfton, Somerfetfhiie, 
Sept. i o, 1711. He refuled at Brullels, as envoy, till June 1713 ; 
and, on the accefhon of king George I, was continued in his 
command in the army, made a lord of the bed-chamber; and 
lord lieutenant of the county of Somerfct, Dec. 3, 1714. He re- 
fjgned his poft in the bed-chamber in 1716, his regiment having 
before been taken from him. He was committed to The Tower, 

z He was " the fon a tradefman," fays the writer of his article in the 

" Biographia Britannica j" which Mr. Cumberland, in his " Letter t'j 

*' the Bp. of Oxford, 1767," p. 23, ftyles " a milVeiirefentation," ar.d a 

* 4 debating of his condition from that of a gentleman to a mean tradefman." 

X 3 Scpu 


Sept. 28, 1722, on fufpicion of being concerned in Layer's plot ; 
whence he \va , at length difcharged, after fuffering feverely in his 
health. He cued Aug. 28, 1731, aged 57. His tafte as a fine 
writer is well eirablifhed ; and the noble instrument which bear 
his name is a proof of his mechanical genius ; he had alto a pe- 
culiar turn to medicine ; and bought and read whatever was pub- 
lUhed on tha. fubject. 

P. 139. 1. 3. Add, as a Note, A_n Englifli tranflation of Pha^ 

larib was pul>lilhed in 1634; but the Tranflator confeffed he had 

no fkill in Greek, and that lie did it from " the moftapproved ver- 

" fionb in three fcverai languages." Another tranflation was pub- 

liflied by Mr. Whately of Magdalen College [probably that faid 

to be by J. S. 1699.] Mr. Budgell translated a fevy 'particular 

Letters, "which he annexed to his Memoirs of the Boyles. And, 

laftly, Dr. Franklin hath given a tranflation of the whole, in 

1749. From the laft-mentioned writer, we have extracted the 

following remarks : " The controverfy was on both fides carried 

"on with great learning and fpiritj and convinced the woild 

f that no fubj'jct was fo inconfiderable, but, if in the hands of 

" able men," might produce fomething worthy of their attention. 

'* I never heard my lord Orrery's abilities as a fcholar called in 

" queftion ; and Dr. Bcntjey was always looked on as a man of 

" wit and parts ; and yet I have been allured that, whilft the dif- 

" pute was in its height, the paimans of each fide behaved with 

" a partiality ufual in fuch cafes. The friends of Phalaris and 

*< Mr. Boyle would not allow their ad verfary any svit; whilft the 

" Doctor's advocates, on the other hand, made it their bufinefs to 

" reprefent Mr. Boyle as void of learning, ; and attributed all 

" the merit of his book to the affiftance of fome men of diftin- 

" guifhed merit in the college and univerfity of which he was a 

" member; and fo far did this malicious affectation prevail, that 

" Dr. Swift allud'es to it as a fact in his " Battle of the Books," 

" where he fays, " that Boyle had a fuit of armour given him by 

" all the gods." Many indeed, who gave into this foolifli opinion, 

did at the fame time allow, in jultice to the late lord Orrery, 

" that, if the weapons were put into his hand, he had at leaft the 

" fkill to manage them to the beft advantage. To recompenfe 

" any uneafinels, which might arife from reports of this kind, 

" Mr. Boyle had the fecret fatisfaction of feeing his enemies, whilft 

' they endeavoured to leffen his reputation, pay him the higheft 

' compliment, by attributing his work to the Literati of Chrifr, 

< Church ; who, if_they had really been concerned in it any far- 

' ther than cafual hints of converfation on the fubject, woujd, I 

' believe, lo:-g before this time have cleared their titles to a fhare 

' in the reputation acquired by it ; which as they have never yet 

' done, I fee no reafon why Mr. Boyle fhould not be looked 

1 upon as the fole author of that piece ; or why, as the labour 

' and merit of it was his own, his claim to the deferved ap- 


O N T H E F I R S T V O L U M E. 299 

f i plaufe it has met with fliould ever for the future be called in 
'{ queftion." 

1 Ibid. After 1. Z5 add, This occafioned the three following 
treatifes : 

" An Etfay concerning Critical and Curious Learning; in 
" which are contained fome fhort Reflections on the Controverfy, 
" <3cc. by T. R. efq. 1698." [Q^Thomas Rymer, efq.] 

" View of Diflertation, &c. [by John Milner, D. D. late vicar 
" of Leeds, in Yorkshire], 1698.'" 

' A Chronological Account of the Life of Pythagoras, and 
" other famous Men his Contemporaries j with an Epiftle to the 
" Rev. Dr. Bentley, concerning Porphyry's and Jamblichus's Lives 
" of Pythagoras. By the Right Reverend Father in God William 
" [Lloyd] Lord Bifhop of Coventry and Lichrield, 1699." The 
letter is dated Dec. 30, 1698. 

Ibid. Mr. Boyle, in his fecond edition, corrected fome mif- 
takes ; and annexed to it " A fhort Account of Dr. Bentley, by 
" way of Index." To the third edition, he added a fmall Ap- 
pendix, of four pages, occafioned by " A View of the Controverfy 
" between Dr. Bentley and Mr. Boyle, upon the Epiftles of Pha- 
'.' laris, &c. in order to the manifesting the Incertitude of Heathen 
" Chronology." [This feems to be Dr. Milner's book.] 

P. 140. After 1. 15, add, " An Anfwer to the " Short Ac- 
" count, &c." in relation to fome Mf. Notes on Callimachus and 
" Mr. Sennet's Appendix," was publifhed, in 1699, by Mr. 

Ibid. Dr. Bentley gave a very full and particular anfwer to 
die accufation relative to Sir Edward Sherburn, in the Pre- 
face to his Diflertation, p. xliii. et feqq. ; which was as pofitively 
contradicted by Sir Edward, in the " Short Account, &c." p. 134. 
Sir Edward was born Sept. 18, 1618; was clerk of the 
ordnance to King Charles I, but ejefted in 1641 for adhering to 
the royal caufe. Retiring with the King to Oxford, he was there 
made mafter of arts. On the furrender of that city to the parlia- 
ment, he fettled in the Middle Temple, and publifhed ieveral 
learned works. He recovered his office under King Charles II, 
but was again turned out by James II ; and betook himfelf ever 
after to a retired and ftudious courfe of life. He died Nov. 4, 
jyoz, in his 8 5th year. 

P. 141. Add to Note, Dr. Bentley's memory failed him here : it 
was not Rupilius, but his adverfary, who pe rmagna ne^otia dives 
babebat Clazomenis. Or perhaps he miftook wittingly, in order to 
compare the permagna negotia with the pus atque venenum. 

P. 142. This Letter from Dr. King was not immediately ad- 
drefTed to Mr. Boyle, but " to a Friend of that Gentleman." See 
" Boyle againft Bentley," p. 6. 

P. 143. The following P. S. was annexed to Dr. King's Let- 
ter, in the Short Account, &c." p. 138. " I hope, Sir, this 
X 4 " anfwer 


" anfwer of Dr. Bentley will divert you as much as his former 
" DiJ/ertation, his own fe<w Notes on Callimacbus, or his extra- 
"ordinary Colleflion of Pillt to purge Melancholy (London, Svo, 
** 1698, printed for Flayford) ; which He may have more ufe of, 
" tlian when it was firft publifhed." 

P. 150. Add to Note, Mr. Prefton has given a good defcription 
of a fimilar amphitheatre, at Hockley in the Hole, under the title 
of" ^Efop at the Bear-garden, a Vifion, 1715." It was dedicated 
originally, he fays, to Bull-baiting, Bear-baiting, Prize-fighting, 
ana all other forts of rough game ; and was not only attended by 
Butchers, Drovers, and great crowds of all forts of mob, but 
likewife by Dukes, Lords, Knights, Squires, &c. There were 
feats particularly fet apart for the quality, ornamented with old 
tapcftry hangings, into which none were admitted under half a 
crown at the leaft. Its neighbourhood was famous for flickering 
Thieves, Pickpockets, and infamous Women j and for breeding 

P. 152. Add to Note, St. Nicholas ftill holds his rank and 
veneration in the RulTian Calendar, and has almoft as many altars 
as the Virgin himfelf. Wraxall's Tour, 1774, p. 233. 

P. 165.1. 5. Add to Note, Wotton's attainments in the lan- 
guages were fo remarkable, as to be fet forth by his father, in a 
Pamphlet dedicated to King Charles II, intituled, " An Eflay OH 
** the Education of Children in the firft Rudiments of Learning ; 
** together with a Narrative of what Knowledge William Wot- 
" ton, a Child of Six Years of Age, hath attained unto, upon the 
" Improvement of thofe Rudiments in the Latin, Greek, and 
" Hebrew Tongues. By Henry Wotton, of Corpus Chrifti 
' College, Cambridge, and Minifter of Wrentham in Suffolk." 
"Re-printed in Svo. 1752. 

Ibid. 1. 1 6. Dr. King was very right in this affertion ; the 
ihape of Neftor's cup hath been miftaken by all who have written 
about it, from the days of Martial to thofe of our Euglifh. Homer j 
as is very fatisfa&orily fliewn by Mr, Clarke, in " The Con- 
" nedlion of Roman, Saxon, and Englifh Coins," p. 218. 

P. 170, 1. 12. read How far. 

P. 174. Richard Flecknoe, who lived in the reigns of Charles 
rhe Firft and Second, was better acquainted with the Nobility 
than with the Mufes. It" his own works are not fufficient to 
tranfmit his name to pofterity, Mr. Dryden has effectually per- 
formed that office in his celebrated fatire called " Mac Flecknoe." 
Langbairie enumerates five of his dramatic produclions. Plis 
other works confift of Epigrams and ^Enigmatical Chafers, 
and of a Diary, in burlelquc vcrfe, i2 mo , 1655. Dryden, in his 
Dedication to Limberham, has feverely raillied an Epiftle Dedi- 
catory ot Fleck noe's to a Nobleman ; but to what book it was 
pr-f.xed is_nOW unknown. Langbaine tells UK, he never could 
get o:>u ot" lus'plays afted : but this is a miftake. His " Love's 

" King- 


" Kingdom, a Paftoral Tragi-comcdy," appears, by the Dedi- 
cation to William Marquis of Newcaftle, to have been afted and 
damned. Q^If this is not the Dedication Dryden alludes to ? His 
" Love's Dominion, a Dramatique Piece full of excellent Mora- 
" litie, written as a Pattern for the reformed Stage, 1654," i2 mi> , 
is dedicated to Lady Eliz. Claypole, Cromwell's daughter. 

Ibid. Thomas Decker was contemporary with tlen Jonfon, 
and contended with that celebrated Laureat for the bays. Though 
his writings are in fmall estimation, he had in that age many 
friends amongft the Poets, particularly the ingenious Richard 
Brome. He wrote eight plays; clubbed with VVcblter in writ- 
ing three more ; and with Rowley and Ford in another. That 
which was in moil efteem was " The Untruiling the humourous 
" Poet," publifhed in 1602, in his own defence, againft " The 
*' Poer:'fler" of Jonfon, in which he was lamed under the title of 
Crifpiuus. Though far inferior to his antagonift, Decker gained 
fume nppiaufe, and retaliated on the Laureat under die name of 
Horace Junior. 

P. 175. 1. ult. r Critick. Ibid Note, 1. i. "The Generous 
" Enemies, orthe Ridiculous Lovers," a comedy, 1672, was writ- 
ten by John Carey ; or rather, according to Langbainc, itoieu 
by him f"n four eminent poets. 

Ibid. 1. 2. " Secret Love, or the Maiden Queen," 1679, was 
a tragedy of Dryden't ; the plot of it is founded on the hiftory of 
Clcobuline queen of Corinth. 

P. 179. 1. 34. One of the firlr. efforts of the Engiiih Stage; 
it was printed in the year 1 575, under the following title, " Ajryghr 
'' pithy pleafaunt and merie Comedie, intytuled Gammer Guv- 
" tons Nedle played on Stage not longe ago in Chriftes Col- 
" ledge, in Cambridge, made by Mr. S. Matter of Arts." It ;s 
alfo printed in Dodiley's Collection of Old Plays, vol. I. and in 
Hawkins's " Origin of the Englifh Drama," vol.1. 

Ibid. 1. 37. Printed in Dodfley's Collection, vol. V. unck-r 
the title of " Grim the Collier of Croydon, or the Devil and his 
" Dam ; with the Devil and S. Duncan, by J. T." It was firft 
printed in 1661, Svo. The plot is taken from Machiavel's ll Mar- 
" riage of Belphegor." 

P. 185. Add, See vol. II. p. 130. 

P. ico. John Swammerdam, born at Amfterdam in 1637, 
applied himfelf early in life to anatomical and medical ftuciies, 
purfuing at the fame time his favourite amufcoient of difcover- 
ing, catching, and examining, dying infects. In 1651, he went 
to Leyden; and was admitted a candidate of phyfic in 1663. 
From this time he applic i diligently to anatomy ; and in 1667 
fiiil injedted the uterine vellels of a human fubje& with ceiaceous 
matter, which ufeful attempt he afterward improved and per- 
fected. In 1668, he declined a fplendid offer ot an eftabliliuncat 
ujidcr the grand duke of Tufcany j and published the next year 



his general hiftoiy of Infefts ; whofe nature and properties were 
then liis chief Audy. In 1673, he publifhed his treatife on 
Bees ; hut, after that fatiguing performance, never recovered his 
former health and vigour, and took a total diftalle to worldly 
affairs. He died Feb. 17, 1680. 

P. 201. Lewis Maimbourg, born at Nancy in 161, was ad- 
mitted into the fociety of Jefuits in 1626; but being obliged in 
1682 to quit it, for aiTerting too boldly the authority oftheGal- 
lican church, againft the court of Rome, was rewarded, by 
Louis XIV, with a very honourable penfion, with which he re- 
tired to the abbey of St. Vitor, where he died Aug. 13, i686. 
He had great reputation as a preacher, and publifhed two 
volumes of Sermons. He was a voluminous hiftorian j having 
written the Hiftory of Arianifm, of the Iconoclaftcs, of the 
Croifades, of the Schifm of the Weft, of the Schifm of the 
Greeks, of the Decay of the Empire, of the League, of Lu- 
theranifm, of Calvinifm, of the Pontificate of St. Leo ; and was 
cornpofing the Hiftory of the Schifm of England when he died. 
Mr. Bayle fays, " Father Maimbourg's hiftories are very agree- 
" ably written, contain many lively ftrokes, and a great variety of 
" occafional inftrul'ions." 

P. 202. Dr. Cafe (on Mr. Granger's authority) is faid to 
have been fent for, to attend John Dennis in his phrenzy, though 
in far. it was to Partridge the Almanack-maker. We may the 
rather be excufed in following this able Biographer in fo fmall 
amiftake,'as we have fo frequently profited by his correct re- 
marks. The far,. however, for which that circumftance was 
mentioned, is ecjuallv true that he was living'in 1708. When 
Tutchin publifhed his Obfervators, John Cafe ufed frequently to 
advertize himfelf at the end of that paper, beginning in this formal 
manner," Your old PhyhcianDr. Cafe defires you not to forget 
him," &c. Sec. 

P. 205. 1. 31. r. with chicken, white beets, &c. 

P. 2.07. 1. 4. r. remarkable. 

Ibid. 1.7. Add this Note, In the Temple. This Pump has been 
perpetuated by Dr. Garth, in The Difpenfary, canto ii. 

" So glow-worms may compare with Titan's beams, 
" And Hare Court pump with Aganippe's ftreams." 

Ibid. 1. 1 8. This circumftance is noted by The Tatler, vol. V. 
N 47- 

P. 213. Liz. Torn Britton, the famous mufical fmall-coal-man, 
was born at or near Highain Ferrers in Northamptonfliire. ' He 
came to London ; and, having ferved feven years to a fmall- 
coal-man in St. John's Street, received a fum of money from 
his mafter, not to fet up in bufinefs. After having fpent the 
money in Northamptonfliire, he returned to London, and fet 
up the fmall-coal trade in a houfe adjoining to the little gate of 
.5 St. 

St. John of lerufalem next Clerkenwell Green, whe 
a great proficient in chemiftry ; and was as famous 

Liiicuiuuic ^ciiib \ji ^ c - A lie iiiuil^al ciuu, 

Ling, was kept up by Britton for many years, 
s, at his own little cell. He was univeifally 
for probity, fagacity, diligence, and humility ; and 
in his original profelTion, though he might have lived 


where he became 
for his know- 
ledge in the theory of mufic, in the practical part of which 
fcience he was alfo very confiderable. He left behind him a va- 
luable collection of mufic, mottly pricked by himfelf, which 
was fold for near an hundred pounds ; and an excellent collection 
of printed books of chemiftry and mufic. Befides thefe, he 
had in his life-time fold to lord Somers a curious collection of 
pamphlets, for about five hundred pounds ; and had fold by 
auction a noble library, principally of Rofacrufian writings, 
which excited general admiration. He had alfo a confiderable 
collection of mufical inftruments, which were fold for fourfcore 
pounds after his death; which happened in September 1714, 
being upwards of threcfcore years or age. The mufical club, 
alluded to by Dr. King, was 
at his own charges, 
efteemed for 
very reputably without it, till the time of his death. 

Ibid.J. 26. r. Grim. Ibid. Second Note, r. Gervafe Markham, 
author of a play called t( . Herod and Antipater," 162?. 

P. 214. 1. 7. Dr. King here miltakes the perfon who wrote 
this piece. It was not the Author of " Occana;" but Sir John 
Harrington, the Tranflator of Ariofto. It was called V A New 
' Difcourfe of a (tale Subject, called " The Metamqi phofis of 
f A-Jax." Written by Mifacmos to his Friend and Colin Phi- 
f loftilpnos," 8vo, 1596, printed by Field. 

P. 240. 1. 21. ;. Codrington. P. 244. 1. 37. r. Florence. 

P. 263. A corktree is now (1776) growing at Wimbledon. 


P. 9. M. De Boodt publifhecl, in 1637, " Hiftoria Gemmarum 
" & Lapidum, Lugd. Sat." Svo. 

P. 20. Spencer Cowper, efq. was tried July 16, 1699. The 
ftory of Sarah Stout's death, which furniflied the materials 
for feveral pamphlets at that time (re-printed with the State 
Trials} is recorded by Mrs. Manley, in the firft volume of her 
Atalantis. It alfp occafioned, in 1729, two indelicate poems, under 
the titles of " Sarah the Quaker to Lothario in the Shades," and 
" Lothario's Anfwer." 

P. 60. There is a print of the queen of France and duke of 
Suffolk, engraved on a large Iheet, from an original belonging to 
the late earl ot Granville, now Mr. Walpole's. On the right 
hand of the duke is his lance, appendent to which is a label, 

" Cloth of gold, do not defpife, 

" Though thou be match'd \yith cloth of frize : 

- Clotli 


" Cloth of frize, be not too bold, 
" Though thou be match 'd with cloth of gold." 
Mary queen of France, youngeft fifter to Henry VIII, was one 
of the moft beautiful women of her age. It is pretty clear that 
Charles Brandon gained her affections before me was married to 
Lewis XII ; as, foon after the death of that monarch, which was 
in about three months after his marriage, me plainly told him, 
" that if he did not free her from all her fcruples within a certain 
* time, fhe would never marry him." His cafuiftry fucceeded 
within the time limited : and flie became his wife. This was 
probably with the king's connivance. It is however certain, that 
no other fuhject durft have ventured upon a queen of France, and 
a fifter of the implacable Henry VIII. Charles Brandon was re- 
markable for the dignity and gracefulnefs of his perfon, and his 
robutt and athletic conftitution. He diftinguifhed himfelf in tilts 
and tournaments (the favourite exercifes of Henry), and made a 
confpicuous figure at the famous interview of the Englifh and 
French monarchs in the camp de drap d'or, between Guines and 
Archv.3. He was brought up with that prince, ftudied his dif- 
pofition, and exactly conformed to it. That conformity gradually 
brought on a ftricler intimacy ; and the king, to bring him nearer 
to himfelf, raifcd him trona a private pcrion to a duke. Granger. 

P. 14.6. Sir William Temple having in fome mcafure been the 
original caufe of the controverfy between Mr. Boyle and Dr. 
Bentley ; it may be entertaining to annex an extract of a letter 
o" his, from Moor Park, March 30, 1698. " I think there can 
*' be no exception to any thing in it [Mr. Boyle's Book], befides 
'* his partiality to me ; which perhaps will be lefs forgiven him 
*' by the Doctor, than any other For the reft, the com- 
" pal's and application of fo much leaming, the ftrength and per- 
" tinence of arguments, the candour of his relations, in return to 
*' fuch foul-mouthed railing, the pleafant turns of wit, and the 
" eafinefs of ftylf, arc, in my opinion, as extraordinary, as the 
" contrary of all thefe all appear to be in what the Doctor and 
" his Friend have written. So that I have as much reafon to be 
" pleafed with finding myfelf in Mr. Boyle's good opinion, as I 
** ihould be lorry to be in theirs." Sec the " Short Account of 
" Dr. Bentley's Humanity, &.c." p. 140. 

P. 165. 1. 4. r. phvfician. P. 169. Lotteries were firft drawn, 
in St. Paul's Church, about 1569; and the drawing continued 
right and day till all was finifhecl. 

P. 170. " PJavs, gaming-booths, and mufical-booths, at May- 
Fair, were prohibited, by proclamation, April 21, 1709. 

P. i So. Dr. Sacheverell was the ion of Jofhua .Sachevercll, of 
Marlborough, clerk (whom Bilfet, p. 255, calls a Dean). Henry 
became demy of Magdalen College in 1687, at the age of 15. 
A tranilarion of his, from Virgil's Firft Gcorgivk, dedicated to 
Mf. Drvdea, is in the ihirU volume of f< Mifcqlhuiy. Pocni'j," Jf'o?. 

O N T H E S E C O N-D V O L U M E, 305 

P. 191. The benevolent chancellor of Winchefter, whom we 
mentioned as the laft furviving male of the Hoadly family, died 
March n, 1776. He was mafter of the hofpital of St. Croix, and 
had feveral other good preferments. 

P. 198. Lieutenant-general Meredith, major-general Maccart- 
ney, and brigadier Honey wood, were cafhiercd, in December 1710, 
for drinking " Damnation to the prefent Miniftry !" 

P. zco. On the nth of November, 1717, Dr. Wekon, with 
his congregation, confiding of about 250 Nonjurors, was fur- 
prized by the juftices and conftables ; and moft of them, rcfufing 
the oaths, were ordered to be profecuted. 

P. 233. Lancelot Addifon, the fon of Lancelot a clergyman, 
was born in 1632, educated at Appleby, and fent thence to 
Queen's College, Oxford ; admitted to the degree of B. A. Jan. 25, 
1654 ; M. A. July 4, 1657. Being chofcn a terrcejilius for the 
act in 1658, his oration was fo fatirical, on the pride, ignorance, 
hypocrifv, and avarice, of thofe then in power, that he was com- 
pelled to make a recantation, and aik pardon on his knees. He 
accepted the chaplainfhip of Dunkirk, where he continued till ic 
was delivered to the French in i66z ; and next year went chaplain 
to Tangier. In 1670, he was appointed king's chaplain ; foon 
after, prebendary of Sarum ; dean of Lichfielcl, July 3, 1683$ 
and archdeacon of Coventry, Dec. 8, 1684. He died April 20, 
1705, afrer having publifhed many learned and ufeful treatifes, 
which are enumerated in the Biographical Dictionary. The ce- 
lebrated Joftph Addifon was his fpn. 

P. 245.. Dr. Swift tells us, vol. XIV. p. 228, " Sir James of the 
" Peak faid to Bouchier the gamefter, birrah, I fhall look better 
" than you, when I have been a month in my grave." 

P. 268. Nicholas Lechmere, efq. rejvefentative in parliament 
for Cockermouth, and one of the Managers againft Sacheverell, 
was an eminent Lawyer, a ftaunch Whig, and an Oppofer of all 
the meafurcs of the laft four years of Queen Anne, having been 
removed from his office of queen's counfel in June 1711. He 
was appointed folicitor-general in October 1714; chancellor of 
the clutchy court of Lancafler ; attorney-general in March, 
1717-18 ; and was created a Peer. Dying June 18, 1727 ; the title 
became extinct. The Reader will find a very humorous Ballda, 
called " Duke upon Duke," on a quarrel between this Nobleman 
and Sir John Guile, in Swift's Works, vol. VI. p. 114. 

P. 305. Dr. John Freind was born, in 1675, at Croton in 
Northamptor.fhire, where his father was rector. He was fent to 
Weftminiler-l'chool, with his brother Robert, who was after- 
wards mafter of it. He was elected to Chrift Church in 1690 ; 
and, under the aufpiccs of Dean Aldrich, undertook, with an- 
other ftudent, to publilh two orations, one of -#ichints, the 
other of Demofthenes, which were well received ; and was alfo 
prevailed upon to revife an edition of Ovid's Metamorphofis, 
y. which 


which Dr. Bentley feverely reprehends. He was director of the? 
fhidies to Mr. Boyle ; and, fays the great Critic, " was of the 
" fame fize for learning with the late Editor of the ^fopean 
" Fables [Mr. Alfop]. If they can but make a tolerable copj 
" of verfcs, with two or three fmall faults in it, they muft pre- 
" fently fet up ro be Authors." But, whatever may be thought 1 
of thofe ju eni ie performances, in his'profethonal capacity he was 
a mafterly writer. Af^r having publifhed feveral curious me- 
dical treatifcs, he was chofen profefTbr of chemifrry at Oxford 
In 1 704 5 and the next year attended lord Peterborow on his 
Spanifh expedition ; of which Dr. Freind publifhed an ac- 
count in 1707. He was created M. D. that year j in 1712, 
was elected a Member of the Royal Society ; and attended the 
duke of Ormond that year into Flanders. After his return, he 
refuled chiefly at London, and gave himfelf up wholly to the 
cares of his profeffion. He was elected a burgefs for Launcefton 
in 1722 ; and, being fufpefted of having a hand in Layer's plot, 
was committed to The Tower, March i<;, 1722-3, where he con- 
tinued a prifoner till the zift of June following. Soon after he 
obtained his liberty, he was made phyfician to the prince of 
Wales ; and, upon that prince's acceffion to the crown, became 
phyfician to queen Caroline, who honoured him with a vaft fhare 
of her confidence and efteem. He did not enjoy this office 
long; dying July 26, 1728, in his C2d year. Their majefties, in 
confederation of his great merit, fettled a penfion upon his widow. 
His celebrated " Hiltory of Phyfic," the firft part of which was 
printed in 1725, was tranflated into Latin by Dr. Wigan, and pub- 
lifhed, with the Latin works of Dr. Freind', at London, in folio, 
1733. They were re-printed at Paris, in 4to, 1735. 

VOL. Ill, 

P. 8. Hedington, Hinkfey, Cowley, and Marfton, are all in 
the neighbourhood of Oxford. 

P. 9. Note, 1. 13. r. apophthegms. P. 17. 1. i. r. Franklin. 

P. 56. 1. 22. This claim frill remains in force ; at leaft, it \v?.=: 
certainly exercifecl, in 1727, by the lord of the manor of Bardolr, 
in Addington, Surrey. See " Verfes on the Coronation of their 
" late Majefties King George II, and Qvicen Caroline, 1761," 
8vo, p. 64. The claim is mentioned in bpecd's Hiftory, under 
-Richard II. 

P. 73. Sir Charles Sedley outlived all his contemporary Wits, 
except the duke of Devonfhire, the earl of Godophin, and the duke 
of Buckingham, who married his granddaughter Catharine ; fee 
above, p. 138. 

P. 79. Jeffery Huclfon was born at Okeham in Rutland. He 
hath been celebrated by Davenant, in hi " JefFrcidos," a poem in 
three cantos. 

P. 84. 


P. 84. Vinegar was the keeper of the Ring in Moor-fields, and 
was fo called from the fournefs of his looks, and the aufterity of 
his government. The rabble paid him a profound veneration, 
and allowed his determination in all difputes and controveriies, 
either at cudgels or wreftling, to be final and conclufive. Thus 
Mr. Pieflon tells .us, TEibp at the Bear Garden, p. 26, 

" great VINEGAR appear'd, 
" By the whole rabble either lov'd or fear'd ; 
" Father of noife ! Methought I heard him fay, 
" Clear, clear the Ring ; the Bear fhall have fair play." 
Ibid. Brawn was mafter of The Rummer Tavern in Great 
Queen-ftreet. See a character of his kitchen, vol. II. p. 304. 
P. 86. Dick Eftcourt was Mr. Bickerftaff's apothecary; fee 
Tatler, K ^, His talents and extraordinary qualifications are 
celebrated in the Spectator, N e 264. 358. 370. and 468. He was 
author of a play, called " The Fair Example," 1706. 

P. 113. The Kit-cat Club, a Society of the firft rank, is faid 
to have been fo called from their meetings being originally at 
the houfe of one Chriftopher Catt. Charles earl of Dorfet was 
one of the firft founders of this Club, which confifted of no 
more than thirty-nine members, all men of the firll rank for 
quality or learning, moft of whom had been employed in the 
greateft offices of ftate and in the army, and none were admitted 
but thofe of the greateft diftinction in fome way or other. All 
their pictures were drawn by that great mailer Sir Godfrey 
Kneller ; and were kept, in commemoration of the auguft aflem- 
bly, by their ingenious Secretary jVtr. Jacob Tonfon j and are dill 
in the polleffion of his family. Sir Richard Blackmore publifhed, 
in 1708, a poem, called " The Rife and Progrefs of the Kit-cat 
*' Club." A ludicrous account 1 of it is alfo in Ned Ward's Hiftory 
" of Clubs," which reprefents Mr. Tonfon as the firft inftitutor. 
P. 138. Richard Duke, M. A. was prefcnted by the bifhop of 
'Winchefter to the rich living of Witney in Oxfordfhire, which 
was afterward enjoyed lucceffively by Dr. Freind, mafter of 
Weftminfter School, and his fonthe dean of Canterbury. Fifteen 
of Mr. Duke's " Sermons on feveral Occafions" were printed in 
1715, 8vo, and a third time in 1730. By the title-page, he appears 
to have been prebendary of Glouceftcr, rector of Whitney, and 
chaplain in ordinary to queen Anne. His poems were collected 
by Mr. Tonfon, and pubiifhed with thofe of Rofcommon in 1717. 
P. i-jt,. }. 6. Gleek is ufed by Shakefpeare, as a noun, in the 
fenfe of inuiick, or a mufician j as a verb, in that of fneering, 
gibing, or drolling upon. In Scotland, it is ftill retained, and 
lignihci to fool or fpcnd time idly, with fomething of mimickry 
01 drollery. See Johnfon's Dictionary. 

P. 179. Lady Clvudleigh alfo published, in 1710, a volume of 
" Eflavs upon feveral Subjects, in Profe and Verfe;" and com- 


plains, in the Preface, of Mr. Lintott's having added, without her 
confent, to the feconcl Edition of her Poems, '?- a Dialogue," (fait 
printed without a name in 1700) occafioned by a Wedding- 
Sermon of Mr. John Sprint, a Nonconformift Divine, at Milton 
Port, Somerfetfhire, called " Tke Bride-woman's Counfellor, 
" 1699." 

P. 185. Rowc's Lucan was firft publiflied, in folio, in 1718. 

P. 259. The poem on " Apple Pye" hath been claimed as 
Mr. Welfted's, in " The Weekly Oracle," Auguft 16, 1 73 c, ; with 
a remark, that " Dr. King, the Civilian, a gentleman of no mean re- 
' putation in the world of letters, let it pafs feme years, without 
'* contradiction, as his own." 

P. 263. A fourth edition of De la Quintinye's " Complete 
Gardener," 8vo. tranflated by George London and Henry Wife r 
was publiflied in 1704. They alfo wrote " The Retired Gardener." 

* % * In the progrefs of thefe Volumes through the prefs, the 
Editor could not but. frequently remark a finking fimilarity 
between Dr. King and the Author of the " Epiftles to Lorenzo ;" 
an obfervation, however, which he had no thought of men- 
tioning, till he obferved, in a monthly publication , the latter of 
thofe writers had been compared with Mr. Sterne. Without the 
rooft diftant intention either of " offering a fop to Cerberus a ," 
or of degrading the abilities of Dr. Kenrick ; it is fubmitted to 
the attentive Reader, whether our parallel be not the more faith- 
ful refemblance. Dr. King's moft ftriking charafterifticks were, 
an inexhauftible fund of real wit, and an irony moil feverely 
poignant; talents which Dr. Kenrick poffeires in perfection. 
The former was properly a ban vivant, and had a heart fo 
exquifitely convivial, that he was the delight of all with whom 
he afTociated : in this point of view, the comparifon will fcarcely 
be ttifputed. And even their poetry (admitting the remark of 
the Reviewer, " that it is eafier for a middling Poet in thefe 
" days to make good rhymes, than it was formerly for a good 
" one 3 ") is not unlike. Our Author, in his " Arc of Love," like 
the Writer of the " Epiftles," wifhed rather, perhaps, to attach his 
readers by the power of his philofophy, than by the fweetnefs of 
his poetry. Yet that many inftances might be produced, where 
ihefenfc of both muft be allowed to be happily adorned with the 
moft judicious choice of rhyme, the (lighteft inflection of the 
*' Orpheus and Eurydice" of the one, or the 14 Moral Epiftles" 
of the other, will plainly teftify. In their lighter ElYays, their 
manner h ftill more congenial : the fame concifenefs, the fame 
epigrammatic turn, is evidently confpicuous. And, to heighten 
the fimilarity, if Dr. King ventured boldly to enter the lifts with 
Dr. Bencley, Dr. Kenrick hath, not lei's daringly, waged literary 
war with a'modern Ariftarchus, the iuftly celebrated Author of 
The Rambler. 

Monthly Review, for December, 1775. 


C 309 ] 

I N P E X of PERSONS, PLACES, BOOKS, &c. inci- 
dentally mentioned, and occafionally illuftrated, 
in the NOTES. 

ADAMS, Dr. John, ii. 211. Brandon, Charles, iii. 303. 
Aclclifon, Dr. Lancelot, Brawn, of the Rummer, iii. 306. 
ii. 235. iii. 305. 
./Efop, iii. 58. 1 20. 
Aldrich, Dean, i. 135. iii. 297 
Alleyn, Edward, iii. 3. 
Almanack-makers, ii 115. 
Alfop, Mr. i. 236. 111.305. 
Amboyna, i. 67. 

Arthur, king, ii. 147. 
Aftrop, i. 67. 

Baker, Dr. William, ii. 217. 

Baliol, John, ii. 64. 

Bantam, i. 67. 

Barbarini, cardinal, iii. 194. 

Bardana, ii. 160. 

Bartholinus, Thomas, i. 145. 

Bartholomew Fair, ii. 169. ' 

Bathurfl, Dr. Ralph, i. 239. 

Battle Royal, i. 221. 

Bawd, iii. 14. 

Baxter, Richard, ii. 185. 

Bear-garden, iii. 300. 

Beau, iii. 188. 

Beaufort, duke of, iii. 293. 

Bedell, hp. i. 227. 

Behn, Mrs. Afra, iii. 178. 

Bentley, Dr. Richard, i. 141. 

iii. 33-35- *97- 
Barnard, Dr. i. 226. 
Betterton, Thomas, ii. 60. 
Billet, William, ii. 181.261. 
Borrichi'us, i. 125. 
BolTu, Le Rene, iii. 188. 

, Charles, iii. 297. 

Boyle,'Robert, ii. 94. 
Bradford, Dr. Samuel, ii. 217. 
Bralesford, Humphry, ii. 255. 
Brady, Dr. i. 235. 
Brahe, Tycho, i. 124. 


Britten, Tom, iii. 302. 
Buckingham, Sheffield duke of, 

iii. 138. 
Villiers, duke of, 

ii. 150. 

Bunyan, John, ii. 184. 
Burgels, Daniel, ii. 191. 
Burleigh, lord, iii. 232. 
Bumet, bp. ii. 204. 
Bulby, Dr. Richard, iii. 291. 
Bufh', William, ii. 272. 

Callimachus, i. 140. 
Cantor, at Rome, iii. 5. 
Carlifle, countefs of, i. 234. 
Caitwright, William,!. 134. 
Cafe, Dr. John, i. 202. iii. 3a. 
Charles, archduke, ii. 130. 
Chudleigh, lady, 179.307. 
Gibber, Caius Gabriel, i. 127. 
Ciofani, Hercules, iii. 120. 
Cithern, ii. 79. 
City Hunt, ii. 169. 
Clarendon, earl, ii. 269. 
Clarke, Pofture-mafter, ii. 18. 
Coaches, i. 193. 
Colman, George, iii. 4. 
Compton, bp. ii. 253. 
Cooper, Thomas, ii. 78. 
Coward, Dr. William,}. 237. 
Cowley, Abraham, iii. 180. Hi 

remark on Ovid, 117. 
Cowper, lord, ii. 214. 

Spencer, ii. 20. iii. 303. 

Creech, Thomas, iii. 9. 
Crew, bp. i. 226. 

Damaree, aWaterman, ii. 191. 
Dampier, captain William, iii. z. 
Y Darien. 


Darien, ii. 133. 
De Boodt, iii. 333. 
Decker, Thomas, iii. 301. 
De Foe, Daniel, ii. 1 83. 
Delegates, Court of, i. xiv. 
Demoi'vois, i. 152. 
Denham, sir John, iii. 122. 
Denmark, Reformation there, 

i. 119. 

Derham, Dr. William, ii. 115. 
Dervorgilla, queen, ii. 64. 
Dialogues of the Dead, i. 144. 
DomeTday Book, i. 12. 
Dorfet, earl of, iii. 181. 
Drake, Sir Francis, iii. 92. 
Dryden, John, iii. 62. 139. 
Duke, Richard, iii. 138.307. 
D'Urfey, ii. 118. 
Dutch-woman, the tall, i. 204. 

Eachard, Dr. John, i. 214. 
Edwin, Sir Humphry, ii. 225. 
Ely ; fee Ridel. 
Englifli Rogue, ii. 182. 
Eflcx, Robeit earl of, i. 228. 
Eilcourc, Dick, iii. 86. 306. 

Farnaby, Thomas, i. 236. 
Fealr ot'theOaks, iii. 58. 
Fell, bp. 1.238. 
Fcrnehus, Dr. iii. 70. 
Fiiher, Payne, i. 237. 
Flaintfeed, John, ii. 263. 
Hecknoe, Richard, iii. 300. 
Fleet wood, bp. ii. 246. 262. 
Ford, Charles, i. xxiv. 
Formofa, Hiftory of, ii. 133. 
France, Mary queen of, iii. 303. 
JFranklin, Dr. Thomas, iii. 298. 
"Freind, Dr. John, iii. 305. 
Fuller, William, ii. 253. 

Gammer Gurton's Needle, iii. 


Garth, Sir Samuel, iii. 184. 
.iii- 30. 
bp. i. a? 6. 

Gibfon, James, ii. 249. 
Gleekj iii. 307. 
Gloucefter, duke of, i. 44. 
Goddard's Drops, ii. 126. 
Goddard, Thomas, ii. 270. 
Gouldman, Francis, iii. 102. 
Granger, James, i. xv. 
Grcatrix, Valentine, ii. 4;. 
Grim the Collier of Croydon, 

iii. 301. 

Grimfton, lord, iii. 65. 
Grout, iii. 306. 

Halifax, carl of, iii. 182. 
Hall, Jacob, i. 204. 
Hannes, Dr. Ed ward, iii. 296. 
Hare Court Pump, iii. 302. 
Harley, Robert, iii. 233. 
Harrington, Sir John, i. 224. 

iii. 303. 

Harris, Dr. John, ii. 217. 
Harvey, Dr. William, iii. 70. 
Haverfham, lord, i. xv. 
Head, Richard, ii. 182. 
Hea'rne, Thomas, iii. 75. 
Henniyer, Mrs. iii. 203. 
Heylyn, Dr. Peter, i. 225. 
Highgate, ii. 154. 
Hoadly, bp. ii. 190. 

chancellor, iii. 304. 

Hobbes, Thomas, ii. 139. iii. 


Hobfon the Carrier, iii. 5 1. 
Holbein Hans, i. 261. 
Holinfliead, Raphael, iii. 74. 
Horfe-races, i. 152. 
Hudlon, Jeffery, iii. 79. 3*6. 

James, Sir ; fee Peak. 

Richard, i.**23 1. 

Jenkins, Old, ii. 89. 
Jews, many in Jamaica, i. 257. 
Johnfon, Samuel, ii. 215. 
Jonfon, Ben, ii. 89. 

Kennet, bp. iii. 37. 
Kenrick, Dr. William, iii. 308. 




Kirkman, Francis, i. 180. 
Kit-Cat Club, iii. 306. 
Kncller, Sir Godfr. iii. 71. 307. 
Knipe, Dr. Thomas, iii. 221. 
Koningfmark, count, iii. 49. 
Kynafton, Sir Francis, i. 235. 

Laflarium, iii. 203. 

Lady's Travels into Spain, ii. 


Le Brun Anthony, i. 278. 
Lechmere, Nicholas, iii. 305. 
Leeuwenhoeck, A. V. ii. 103. 
Lilly, William, i. 161. 
Linacre, Thomas, i. 240. 
Lincoln's Inn Fields, i. 145. 
Lintoti's Mifccllanies,iii. 37. 
Lifter, Dr. Martin, i. 161. 
Littleton, Adam, ii. 83. 
Lloyd, bp. ii. 233. 264. 
Locman, iii. 58. 
London, George, iii. 263. 307. 
Lotteries, ii. 169. iii. 304. 
Ludgate, iii. 197. 
Ludolf, Job, ii. 91. 

Malherbe, Francis, iii. 174. 
Mandevile, Sir John, ii. 62. 
Manethon, iii. 48. 
Manley, Mrs. Delarivier, ii. 


Markham, Gerv. i. 213. iii. 303. 
Madham, Sir John, iii. 48. 
May Fair, ii. 169. iii. 304; 
Mazaiin, cardinal, iii. 294. 
Meeting-houfes, ii. 191. iii. 313. 
Mentz ; fee Printing. 
Milner, Dr. John, iii. 299. 313. 
Mo<kna, ducheisof, ii. 128. 
Molewortb, lord, i. 37. 
Monimouth, duke of, i. 217. 
Moor Fields, ii. 145. 
Moore, Francis, ii. 1 1 5. 
More, Sir Thomas, i. 259. 
Mcrlarul, lady, ii. 90. iii. 5 1 3. 


126. Mofs, Dr. Robert, ii. 217. 

Mufgiave, Dr. William, ii. 49. 

Naudaeus, Gabriel, ii. 9. iii. 


Neftor's Cup, iii. 300. 
Nicholas, Sr. i. 152. iii. 300. 
Nicolfon, bp. i. 256. 

Ogilby, John, iii. 90. 
Oldenburg, Her.ry, ii. 6. 
Oldham, John, iii. 34. 
Oldifworth, Mr. iii. 274. 
Oliver's Porter, i. 217. 
Orinda, iii. 178. 
Ortelius, Abraham, iii 113. 
OILorn, Francis, ii. 84. 
Otaheite, i. 162. ii. 81. 
Overbury, Sir Thomas, iii. 152. 
Ovid, a Canon Lawyer, iii. 1 17. 
Oyfters, green Colchcfter, iii. 

Park, St. James's, iii. 73. 
Parliaments, i. 14. 
Parr, Thomas, iii. 31. 
Partridge, John, ii; 115. 263. 
Peak, Sir James of die, ii. 245. 

iii. 305. 

Pearion, bp. ii. 221. 
Pembroke, earl of, iii. 105. 
Petit Maitre, iii. 188. 
Pha!aris,iii. 298. 
Philip king of Spain, ii. 130. 
Philips, Mis. Catharine, iii. 


John, iii. 185. 

Pie-powder Court, i. 176. 

Planudes, iii. 120. 

Plaxton, George, ii, 67. 

Plot, Dr. Robert, ii. 7. 

Poland, i. 70. 

Politianus, Angelus, iii. 1 14, 

Poor Robin, ii. 1 1 5. 

Printing, when hi'ft ufed ar 

Mentz and at Spire, i. 259 ; 

at Oxford, 162. 
Y 2 Prior, 



Prior, Matthew, iii. 182. 

Pfalmanazar, George, ii. 133. 

Rabelais, iii. 96. 

Ralegh, Sir Walter, ii. 93. iii. 


Ramfey, John,ii. 218. 
Randolph, Robert, ii. 118. 

Thomas, ibid. 

Rapin, Renatus, iii. 185. 
Ray, John, ii. 12. 
Reformation of Manners, ii. 


Richlieu, cardinal, iii. 294. 
Richmond, duchefs of, ii. 64. 
Ridel, Geoffry, bp. of Ely, i. 


Ridpath, George, ii. : 83. 
Robinfon, Dr. Tancred, ii. 31. 

Thomas, i. 257.. 

Rochefter, earl of, ii. 253. 

Rome, Stage-riots there, iii. 5. 

Roper, Abel, ii. 183. 

Rowe, Nicholas, iii. 1 84. 308. 

Runic Poetry, ii. 176. 

Rutkl, lady, ii. 66. 

Ruilia, i. 95. 152. iii. 296.300. 

Smallridge, bp. ii. 217. 
Smith, Edmund, iii. 185. 
Snape, Dr. Andrew, ii. 218. 
Socinus, Marianus, iii. 249. 
Sorbierc, Samuel, i. 23. 
South, Dr. Robert, i. 210. 
Spain, ii. 151. 
Spanheim, iii. 122. 
Spenfer, Edmund, iii, 184. * 

Spira, Francis, ii, 160. 
Stanihurft, Richard, i. 218. 
Stat. i Geo. I, ii. 226. 
Stepney, George, iii. 182. 
Stillingfleet, bp. ii. 231. 
Stow, John, iii. 184. 
Stradling, Sir Edward, i. 230. 
Stratford, earl of, ii. 192. 
Sutton, Gibbon, ii. 218. 
Swammerdam, John, iii. 301. 
Sweden, i. 70. 
Swift, Thomas, i. 218. 
Sydenham, Dr. Thomas, i. 32. 

Talieffin, iii. 56. 

Taflb, Torquatus, iii. 174. 

Temple, Sir William, ii. 146. 

iii. 304. 

Thynne, Thomas, iii. 49. 
Tillotfon, bp. ii. 230. 
limorodee, ii. 81. 
Tonfon, Jacob, iii. 307. 
topography, i. 257. 
Torpedo, iii. 100. 
Tracey, Richard, i. 232. 
Tuke, Sir William, iii. 8. 
Turner, Dr. John, ii. 217. 
Mrs. i. 162. iii. 153. 

Sacheverell, Dr. Henry, ii. 180. 

242. iii. 304. 
Saffold, Dr. i. 202. 
Saint John, Henry, iii. 234. 
Salmon, Dr. William, ii. 4. 
Sandys, George, iii. in. 
Savage, Dr. William, ii. 218. 
Savilc, Sir Harry, i. 262. 
Scrope, Sir Car, iii. 138. 
Sedley, bir Charles, iii. 73. 
Seyley the Chimney-fweeper, i, 


Sherburn, Sir Edward, iii. 299. 
Sherlock, Dr. William, i. 210. Van Dyck, Sir Anthony, i. 261 

Tutchin, capt. John, 

Tynel, Sir Thomas, i. 22! 


Sidney, Sir Philip, ii. 89. 
Slavery, i. 93. 
Sioane, Sir Hans, ii. 5. 

Vaiiilas, Antoine, i. 2. iii. 296. 
Ycrnon of Chrift Church, i. 236. 
George, i. 225. 

Small-coal-man, the Mufical, Upton, judge, i. xv 
iii- 3 Oi Uiher, arciibp. i. 227. 



Wadham, lady, 64. Wickliff, John, i. 3. 

Waller, Edmund, iii. 181. Wilkins, bp. ii. 168. 

Wallis, Dr. )ohn, ii. 167. Wife, Henry, iii. 163. 307. 

Walter, Sir John, ii. 244. Wolfey, cardinal, ii. 286. 

Wanley, Humphry, ii. 61. Wotton, William, i. 167. iii. 
Ward, bp. ii. 208. iii. 38. 300. 

Welton, Dr. Richard, ii. aoo. 

iii. 3*4. York, Roger archbp. of, i. 253. 
Whaley, Nathanael, ii. 217. 

Wheate, Sir Thomas, ii. 245. Zouch, Richard, i. 234. ; 
Wickham, William of, i. 262. 

Vol. II. p. 9?. FirJI Note, after 1679-80, add, " aetatis if." 
She was his fecond lady. There are three infcriptions on her tomb, 
in Hebrew, ^Ethiopic, and Englifli. 

Reform the fecond Note thus, On an adjoining tablet, are three 
infcriptions, to the memory of Sir William's firft ladv, in Hebrew, 
Greek, and Englifh, the latter of them in thefe words : " Carola 
" daughter of Roger Harfnett, efq. and of Carola his wife, 
" the truly loving (and as truly beloved) wife of Samuel Mor- 
" land, knight and baronet, bare a fecond fon Oft. 4, died Oft. 10, 
" Anno Domini 1674, aetatis 23." 

P. 191. Note. The fame mob deftroyed the meeting-houfes of 
Mr. Earl in Long Acre, Mr. Bradbury in New-ftreet, Mr. Tay- 
lor in Leather Lane, Mr. Wright in Black Fryars, and Mr. Ha- 
milton in Clerkenwell ; and burnt the pulpit, pews, and fome of 
the Bibles. They threatened to demolifh Mr. Hoadly's church 
and houfe j and, when the guards came up, were detaching parties 
to deftroy Mr. Shower's meeting-houfe, and to pull down the 
Bank, which flood near it. " Hiftorical Account of Sacheverell." 

Vol. III. p. 299. The title of the traft mentioned in the fourth 
and fixth paragraphs is, " A View of the DilTertations upon the 
" Epiftles of Phalaris, Themiftocles, &c. lately publifhed by the 
" Rev. Dr. Bentley ; alfo of the Examination of the Dillertation 
" by the Hon. Mr. Boyle. In order to the manifeftingthe Incer- 
" tirude of Heathen Chronology." 


C 3'4 


USEFUL Mifcellanies , Part the Firft. 

i. Preface of the Publilher of Joan of Hedington, a 

Tragi-comedy, Pag. 3 

t. The Tragicomedy, 17 

3. Some Account of Horace's Behaviour during his Stay 
at Trinity College in Cambridge. With an Ode to 
entreat his Departure thence. Together with a Copy 
of his Medal, taken out of Trinity College Buttery, 
by a Well-wilher to that Society, 24 

4. An Anfwerto Clemens Alexandrinus's Sermon, upon 
Siuis Dives falvetur ? " What Rich Man can be 
" faved ':" proving it eafy for a Camel to go through 
the Eye of a Needle, 37 

The Art of Cookery ; in Imitation of Horace's Art of Poetry. 
With fome Letters to Dr. Lifter and Others , occafioned 
principally by the Title of a Book publifhed by the Doftor, 
being the Works of Apicius Ccelius, " concerning the Soups 
and Sauces of the Ancients :" With an Extraft of the 
greateft Curiofities contained in that Book, 41 

The Art of Love : In Imitation of Ovid De Arte Amandi. 

With a Preface, containing the Life of Ovid, 103 

The Furmetary, 195 

Mully of Mountown, 103 

Orpheus and Eurydice, aey 

Rufinus, or The Favourite, 218 

Britain's Palladium ; or, Lord BolingbrofceY Welcome from 

France, 230 

Verfes to the Duke of Beaufort, 237 


Song, 238 

An incomparable Ode of Malhetbe's, written by him 
when the Marriage was on foot between Louis XIV 
and Anne of Aullria, tranflated by an Admirer of the 
Eafmefs of French Poetry, 239 

The laft Billet, 240 

To Laura, in Imitation of Petrarch, ibid. 

To the Right Hon. the Earl of , upon his difputing 

publicly at Chrift Church, Oxford, 241 

A Gentleman to his Wife, 242 



The Mad Lover, pag. 24* 

The Soldier's Wedding, a Soliloquy, by Nan Thralher- 

well, being Part of a Play, called " The New Troopv" *4J 
The Old Cheefe, 444 

The Skillet, 34$ 

The Fifherman, e*7 

A Cafe of Confcience, t*6 

The Conftable, 250 

Little Mouths, 3.51 

Hold faft below, 25* 

The Beggar Woman, 53 

The Veftry, 254 

The Monarch, 256 

The Incurious, 257 

Apple-Pye, 259 

The Art of making Puddings, 261 

A Panegyric on Beer, to Mr. Carter, Steward to the 

Lord Carteret, 265 

Nero, a Satire, ibid. 

Verfes to Major Tynte, 266 

Ulyfles and Tirefias, a Dialogue on Riches, 267 

Tranflatior from TafTo, 26* 

from Hefiod, ibid. 

Verfes left in the King of France's Bed-chamber, after 

the Death of the Duke DC Montmorency, ibid. 

Thame and Ifis, 269 

Of Dreams, ibid. 

Verfes on waking out of a Dream, ibid. 

Extracts from " The Loft Princefs," a Play of Lord 
Bleffinton, 270 

A merry Letter to a Friend, on Love, Marriage, and a Single 
Life, occafioned by his Miftrefs's marrying his Rival, 271 

A Pindaric Ode to the Memory of Dr. King, 274 

Crapulia, or the Region of the Cropficks j a Fragment, in die 
Manner of Rabelais, 27$ 


i. To Sir Edmund Warcupp, 288 

i. To the Beef- Steak Club, 290 

3. To Dr. Knipe, 291 

4. To the Duke of Beaufort. 293 
Additional Obfervations, 296 
Index to the Notes, 309 
Addenda, 313 


Speedily will be publi/hed, by N. C o N A N T, 

In One large Olai)o Volume, 

%* This collection will confift principally of fcarce Pam- 
phlets, firft publiflied during the Four laft Years of Queen Anne. 
Some of them are avowedly the Dean's, though hitherto they 
have never appeared under his name ; and others we have his own 
Authority for afcribing to him, either as Suggefter of the Hints, 
or as aflyal Editor. Some valuable Letters are to be inferted ; and 
a few Mifcellaneous Eflays, in Profe and Verfe, which have an 
immediate Connexion with his Writings. To the whole will 
be added, Notes on all the preceding Volumes, to which this will 
form a proper Supplement. 


LOS AN&j>;jSS 

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