The parents' manual or, Home and school training

3.W. Smith-

THE

PARENTS' MANUAL;

OR,

HOME AND SCHOOL TRAINING.

BY

HIRAM OPvCUTT, A.M.,

Author of " The. Class-Book of Prose and Poetry " " Gleanings from School-
Life Experiences'1 and "The Teacher's Manual.'1''

" To teach, whether by word or action, is the greatest function on
earth." CHANNING.

BOSTON:

PUBLISHED BY THOMPSON", BROWN, & CO.,

25 AND 29, CORNHILL.

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1874, by

HIRAM ORCUTT,
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington.

EDUCATION

BOSTON :
RAND AVERY, & Co., STEREOTYPEKS AND PRINTERS.

TO

THE FAITHFUL MOTHERS IN AMERICA,

WHO REGARD THEIR HOMES AS THEIR KINGDOM, AND THE

POLISHING OP THEIR "JEWELS" AS THEIR

PRIDE AND CHIEF GLORY,

THIS VOLUME,

WHICH HAS BEEN WRITTEN FOR THE AID AND ENCOURAGE
MENT OF ALL WHO SUSTAIN PARENTAL RELATIONS,

IS RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED BY

THE AUTHOR.

54-1276

PREFACE.

THE family and the school are inseparably con
nected in the great work of education ; yet much
the larger share of the labor and responsibility
necessarily belongs to parents. Teachers are
only their assistants and employes, having dele
gated authority and. power ; and their success
and usefulness depend largely upon the wisdom
and co-operation of their emploj^ers. Hence the
discipline of the family embraces the discipline
of the school, and should be based upon the same
principles, and studied with equal care and earnest
ness both by parents and teachers.

With these views, and with the hope of aiding
in the noble work of training our American chil
dren for greater usefulness and a higher destiny
than we have yet realized, the author has pre
pared this volume. "THE PARENTS' MANUAL"
i* 5

6 PREFACE.

is designed as the counterpart of " THE TEACH
ER'S MANUAL," published two years ago. That
volume treated upon the teacher's duties to his
pupils in all the relations he sustains to the
school : this treats upon parents' duties in all
the relations they sustain to their children, in
the family, in the school, and in society, dur
ing the period of their minority.

The author is not aware that any one book
covering the same ground has ever been written
upon this subject. His aim has been to make the
work concise and practical. How far and how
well he has accomplished his object, he must
leave to the reader to judge.

TILDEN SEMINARY,
WEST LEBANON, N.H., April, 1874.

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I. PAG*.
INTRODUCTION 9

CHAPTER H.
PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY 12

CHAPTER HI.
PARENTAL CONTROL 19

CHAPTER IV.
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT 27

CHAPTER V.
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY 44

CHAPTER VI.
CHARACTER AND HABITS 72

CHAPTER VH.
RELIGIOUS TRAINING 105

8 CONTENTS.

CHAPTER VHL PAGE.

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE .115

CHAPTER IX.
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL .....

CHAPTER X.
THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY

CHAPTER XI.
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS 257

THE PARENTS' MANUAL,

i.

INTRODUCTION.

" Home is the sacred refuge of our life."

DRYDEX.

home of childhood, — what hal
lowed associations cluster around it !
How sacred to the memory and dear to
the heart that has felt its power ! The
place is consecrated by parental and filial
affection, and by innocent sports and
joys, which can never be repeated in the
experience of life. The very name ex
cites emotions which no language can
describe. And when the melody of

" Home, home, sweet, sweet home ! "

1 10' -THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

strikes upon the ear, the fountains .of the
soul are stirred to their lowest depths.

Here exist the most intimate and en
dearing of all human relations. Husband
and wife, parents and children, brothers
and sisters, constitute the home, and enjoy
a common sympathy, and toil together
to promote the common good.

The home was first planted in Eden by
God's own hand, and has been trans
planted into every civilized community.
In these family relations the father stands
as the ordained head of his household,
— to provide for their wants, promote
their happiness, and share their blessings.
The mother is his u helpmeet," his hon
ored queen, and the sharer of his author
ity and responsibility in the important
work of education: indeed, she is the
central light and animating spirit of
every true home ; and hence from her
emanates the educating and moulding
power in every family.

INTR OD UCTION. 11

The importance of this home to the
welfare of our race cannot be overesti
mated. It is the heart, whose arteries
extend to the utmost limits of human
society, and from which flows the life-
blood of the nation. If this blood is
pure, it imparts health and vigor to the
whole body politic ; but, if impure, it
engenders corruption, disease, and death.

Now, if home-training is so important,
and the mother is the chief source of
that influence which develops and ma
tures all that is noble in the future citi
zen, it must follow that the legitimate
sphere of her activity and usefulness lies
chiefly in her own household. If she
does well the work which has been as
signed her there, she will have no time,
nor strength, nor disposition, to seek an
other and more extensive field of labor.

II.

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY,

"YTTHO can measure it? Parents are
the God-commissioned guardians,
rulers, and guides of their children.
They have been selected from the race,
and ordained to this special work. Im
planted in them is an instinctive, peculiar
love for their offspring, which was de
signed to insure fidelity. United by the
ties of consanguinity, they are the near
est in affection, and the nearest in place.
In this fearful position, parents have in
charge the beginning and shaping of a
boundless, eternal destiny. As rulers
and teachers, they hold a sceptre more
royal than that of kings, and occupy a

12

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY. 13

throne nearest of any human power to
the throne of God. Parents are there
fore ordained as special ministers, to
keep safely, educate wisely, and bless
continually, their tender children.

Mark the filial spirit which the child
cherishes for the fond and faithful
mother. What more pure and elevat
ing ? With what simple and unfaltering
faith does he lean upon the maternal
arm, and trust in maternal fidelity!
Every tone of the mother's voice thrills
the heart of childhood; and every ex
pression of her countenance awakens joy
or SOITOW, hope or fear. Here we have
a glimpse of the unmeasured power of
home- training over the destiny of the
child, which is the measure of parental
responsibility ; yet no finite mind can
ever fully comprehend it.

And for what are parents training
their children? They enjoy them now

14 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

as sunbeams which cheer their homes,
and hold them as treasures which wealth
could not purchase. They hope to have
them as companions in riper years, and
to lean upon them for comfort and sup
port in declining life. But it will de
pend largely upon their early training
whether they will honor or dishonor the
name they have inherited ; whether they
will be a source of comfort and joy, or
will "bring the grav hairs of their par
ents in sorrow to their graves."

Parents are training their children also
for society, for the duties and responsi
bilities of citizenship. But what kind
of citizenship shall it be? "The child
is the father of the man; " and his devel
opment for good or evil, under parental
control, will determine his future char
acter. The neglect or mismanagement
of parents results in the misdeeds of chil
dren. The ill-tempered and disobedient

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY. 15

boy, unsubdued at home, will be dis
orderly at school, and contentious, vulgar,
and profane in the streets ; and he is thus
trained to enter directly upon a course
of dissipation and crime that may lead
to ruin. The unrestrained girl will be
likely to grow up self-willed, petulant,
vain, frivolous, and self-idolizing ; and
society made up of such citizens will be
come a mingled scene of struggling and
crushing antagonisms. Let it not be for
gotten that the thirty thousand human
beings now confined within prison- walls
in the United States were once innocent
children in maternal arms. What a fear
ful responsibility, then, rests upon Ameri
can parents, since the destiny of their
children and of the nation depends upon
their influence and efforts !

Again: the family is a school, and the
parents the divinely-ordained teachers.
Education begins at the dawn of existence,

16 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

and terminates only with life. Helpless
infancy is intrusted to parental love and
care. Its puny body must be nourished
and clothed. With what provident care
has the Creator provided for these special
wants ! and how tenderly does the true
mother watch over her precious charge,
and minister to its necessities and com
forts ! Anxious days and sleepless nights
bear testimony to her faithfulness. Ere
long, through the development of the
physical system, intelligence dawns ; and
smiles begin to play upon the counte
nance, as if the child had learned to rec
ognize with gratitude and love the
patient toil of its benefactor. During
this period its very life was in peril, de
pendent upon the mother, the guardian
angel of the home.

Here opens another scene in life's
drama. With intelligence come the ac
tivity and accountability of the child, and

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY. 17

a new responsibility upon the parent.
The tiny limbs must be trained to walk,
and the silent tongue to prattle. The
mind, like a clean white canvas, begins
now to receive impressions from the ex
ternal world through the senses, and to
judge of the right and wrong of childish
actions. Here double diligence must be
exercised to guard against new danger, —
not the danger of being harmed by fire
or water or poison through ignorance
of their uses and abuses, but by the cor
rupting influence of a wicked world. And
how can parents feel less solicitude for
the moral safety of their children who
have come to years of discretion, and are
compelled to walk amid so many pitfalls
of ruin, than for their physical safety
while exposed to the common accidents
of life?

At this critical period, provision must

be made to form the character; to ex-

2*

18 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

pand, mature, and furnish the mind ; to
cultivate the conscience; in a word, to
develop the whole being into true man
hood or womanhood. This is the end to
be reached, and by a process which is
expressed by the word " education ; " and
this vast work is intrusted chiefly to par
ents. For its accomplishment they are
held responsible ; and this responsibility
they cannot evade.

III.

PAKENTAL CONTROL,

r I ^HE discipline of the family, as treated
in this volume, implies much more
than family government : it includes the
management and culture of children in
all the relations they sustain while under
parental care. But parental control and
filial submission are not only a duty under
the divine law, but a necessity for the
welfare of the child. Without experi
ence, he is in the midst of danger, and
exposed to injury and death ; and yet he
fears no evil. His hand must be forcibly
withheld from the burning coals; and,
though he cry ever so bitterly, he must
not be allowed to play with edged tools,

19

20 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

nor to eat poison. The most strenuous
advocates of moral suasion must admit
that here, at least, authority and force are
properly and necessarily exercised. And
it is just here that the child is initiated
into submission to the power above him.
In every instance of positive and imme
diate danger, the parent interferes to pre
vent the evil ; and yet how many utterly
fail to administer positive government be
yond this point! Such neglect is entirely
inconsistent and ruinous. Government,
to be effective, must be absolute and uni
form, and must reach every case of wrong
as well as of danger.

The child has been described by some
writer as ua little crawling, creeping,
picking, pulling, pushing, climbing, tot-
tling, and tumbling piece of activity."
As such he is committed to the mother's
care. Activity is, indeed, a condition of
his mental and physical development;

PARENTAL CONTROL. 21

but it must be under constant control.
With a blind impulse he moves in every
direction, regardless alike of his own safe
ty and of the comforts and rights of
others. He may pull the boiling teapot
from the stove ; and may not the mother
force him away to prevent his death from
scalding? He may dash the china set
upon the floor ; and may she not, with
equal propriety, interpose her authority
to prevent the destruction of the prop
erty, and to teach the child the wrong of
such recklessness? Suppose she meets
angry wilfulness and sullen resistance in
her efforts to correct and restrain : may
she not, and should she not, hold the
little rebel under discipline until he is
subdued to cheerful obedience ?

There must be fixed statutes in every
domestic realm; and these must be re
vealed to the children as soon as they
can understand them, and must be re-

22 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

peated as often as they are disposed to
violate them. And these laws must
be enforced at all times and everywhere
if the desirable results of family govern
ment are to be realized. The habit of
disobedience, which often results from
parental weakness, may lead to some ter
rible, blighting calamity to the family.
How often are we startled by news of the
sudden and violent death of some darling
child! But, had that child been taught
unconditional obedience to parental au
thority, he would not have entered the
forbidden water, nor played upon the
brink of the precipice. Begin early to
enforce obedience, and with a steady
hand, firm purpose, and loving heart,
meet and subdue every rebellious effort
on the part of the child, and family gov
ernment will be comparatively easy, and
the fearful consequences of insubordina
tion will be avoided. Immediate sub-

PARENTAL CONTROL. 23

mission to separate and incidental com
mands and prohibitions is the only con
dition of absolute parental control and
filial security. This should be insisted on
from the beginning. I do not believe in
the "divine right of kings;" but I do
insist upon the divine right of parents to
control their children during all the years
of their minority ; and that the future
character of these children, as pupils, as
citizens, and as subjects of the divine
government, will be determined largely
by this early training.

It is from the ranks of children ungov-
erned at home that our reform-schools,
houses of correction, jails, and prisons
are filled ; and the domestic training
that saves from such fearful consequences
begins by securing obedience to specific
directions, and expands into a cheerful
compliance with general rules of right
and duty. If the child is not required to

24 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

obey a particular command, lie will not
conform to general laws in the family,
in the school, or in society : but if, on
the other hand, filial obedience early
becomes a habit, the severer struggles
between parents and children which cause
so much pain and grief in after-years
would be avoided; and that "stubborn
will " which defies parental authority, and
invokes severe punishments, would never
be formed.

This was evidently a part of the divine
plan. At first, the child is not only igno
rant and impulsive, but weak, and easily
controlled. Soon consciousness dawns,
and he begins to recognize the mother's
voice and smile. Fear, love, and rever
ence are awakened; and these become
powerful aids to maternal government.
This, then, is the opportunity, and these
the means provided by God, to enforce
the great lesson, and to teach the child

PARENTAL CONTROL. 25

not only the necessity, but the obligation,
of obedience.

Happy are those children who have
been thus reared under the discipline of
home ; happy in the peaceful submission
to parental authority, and in the enjoy
ment of parental love ; happy in the ex
ercise of filial affection, and reverence
toward those whom God has placed over
them; and happy in the enjoyment of
mutual love and mutual sympathy. And
happy, indeed, those parents whose fidel
ity has trained for themselves, their
country, and their God, such a family;
happy in their society and in the sun
shine of their affections; happy in the
thought that they will be sustained and
comforted in declining life by the strong
arm and tender heart of their own loyal
offspring, and that they will die, not
among strangers, but surrounded by
their own kindred; happy in the assur-

26 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ance that their children will in the future
honor their name, their memory, and
their virtues, and will bless the nation
through the influence of a noble and ex
alted citizenship.

IV.
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT.

LPAMILY government is both an art
and a science. Some parents are
endowed by nature with a special gift to
manage and control children ; while
others seem almost entirely to lack this
qualification. The first class, even, may
profit by suggestions from the more ex
perienced and wise ; but the second class,
who must also bear parental responsi
bility, especially need instruction and
training for their important work.

Insubordination is a characteristic of
our age and country. It is seen in the
irreverent and unruly spirit of children
in the family and in the school ; in their

27

28 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

rude, boisterous, and profane conduct in
the streets; in their truancy and crime,
which have filled our reform-schools and
houses of correction; in the frequent
rebellions in academies and colleges
throughout the land. That all these con
sequences have too often resulted directly
from parental inefficiency and misman
agement, no intelligent observer can
doubt.

Some parents, through their own per-
verseness, have lost the power to minister
at the sacred family altar. Their exam
ple and influence are wholly unfavorable
to wholesome discipline. They sustain
the sacred relation of husband and wife,
and have been intrusted with the holy
mission of moulding the character of
childhood; but they have become di
vorced in spirit and in life. Their little
differences are permitted to ripen into
open rupture ; and their home, which

PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 29

should be the very paradise of earthly
bliss, where affection and harmony al
ways dwell, becomes a scene of perpetual
strife and turmoil. And how fearful the
influence of such example over the im
mediate and more distant future of these
children! A large proportion of the
lawlessness, vice, and crime, which curse
American society, results directly from
this cause. Here, then, is a theme for
the contemplation of the Christian phi
lanthropist, who seeks the elevation of
our people and the perpetuity of our
free institutions. Let him toil to harmo
nize, purify, and enlighten the homes
where our future citizens must be trained.
Other parents do not attempt to gov
ern their children, nor believe in the
importance or utility of such control,
except in cases of absolute physical dan
ger: hence they offer no restraints, and
exercise no authority over them. They

3*

30 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

profess to believe that reproofs and pun
ishments result only in moroseness of
disposition, and perverseness of manners.
Such interpositions disturb the quiet and
harmony of the family ; and hence the
parents yield to every wish, and gratify
every desire, of their children, to avoid
the fancied evil. But such a family de
mocracy soon resolves itself into a fearful
despotism, where the children are the
rulers, and their parents are the obedient
and much-abused subjects. How wise (in
their own estimation), arrogant, dictato
rial, and ill-mannered such children be
come, we have frequent opportunities to
see. Nor could it be otherwise, under
this perverted order of things. The di
vinely-appointed sovereigns of the house
have been deposed, and are in subjec
tion. The natural subjects have never
learned obedience under authority :
hence the sad consequences are realized
at home, in school, and in society.

PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 31

Still other parents attempt to govern,
but fail, some from one cause, and some
from another. I may here specify some
of the more common ways of spoiling chil
dren.

First, I will name the fickle method.
Parental tenderness was designed by God
to insure fidelity. It inspires an undy
ing interest in the child's welfare ; and, if
rightly directed, will secure its object.
But the mother lacks firmness. Her con
victions are all right, and her views of
government, in the main, correct; but
she seems to have no power to resist her
child's importunity. He craves some im
proper gratification, and demands indul
gence. The mother refuses. The child
persists, because he has learned by expe
rience that she does not really mean no
when she says it. Why did she not teach
her darling that important lesson in the
beginning, and thus save herself all this

32 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

trouble and annoyance? She did not;
and hence the child undertakes to re
verse her decision, and with the full
assurance that he can accomplish his
object. It may cost a half-hour's teasing,
or a u flood of tears," or a violent fit of
passion, or a spasmodic display of affec
tion, as the case may be; but the worn
and weary mother will surely yield. The
contest is only a matter of time: the
result is not doubtful. And what is the
influence of this fickleness upon the tem
per and life of the child ? Does he love
his mother more tenderly ? Is he more
amiable, gentle, obedient, and faithful
afterwards ? No : he will become more
irritable and selfish, more demanding and
determined in his efforts to secure his
object. Develop the selfish propensities
of a child's nature, and his filial love will
be diminished in the same proportion.
The former is allowed to overgrow and

PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 33

cover up the latter. That mother is the
most earnestly loved by her children who
governs them with a firm and impartial
hand, whose decision always settles all
questions without controversy, and whose
promises are sure of fulfilment. Let par
ents carefully consider the requests of
their children asking indulgence ; and,
when they have said yes or no, let that
always be understood to be the final
decision.

Second, Another method of spoiling
children I will call the impulsive. Parents
practising this method of government are
fitful. They act towards their children as
they feel at the time. In their genial
mood, unbounded indulgence is allowed
them : they discover no faults to be cor
rected ; and will allow no punishments to
be inflicted, either at home or at school.
And yet, when the fit of passion comes
on, they assail their children with violence,

34 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

and chastise them in an unmerciful man
ner, and by means wholly unjustifiable
under any judicious system of training.
Pinching, pushing, cuffing, flogging,
thumping, and shutting up in the dark
closet, are among the penalties inflicted.
These unfortunate children soon learn to
enjoy the sunshine, and to endure the
storm ; but the influence of such treatment
upon their temper, habits, and life, is fear
ful. They have no confidence in the man
agement of their parents, and can cherish
for them but a limited amount of affec
tion. They grow up ill-tempered, fretful,
and disobedient, wholly unfitted for the
duties and responsibilities of mature life.

Third, I will allude to the scolding and
threatening methods of spoiling children.
Correction and reproof are proper and
necessary in family government ; but con
stant fault-finding is wrong and ruinous.
To ignore the good, and always censure

PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 35

the bad, tends to discourage the child,
and leaves him to contract habits of heed-
lessness, and to float along the current of
passion and evil influence, regardless of
consequences. His good qualities and
commendable conduct should be recog
nized, and encouraged by kind words of
approval. In this way, that pride of
character and self-respect may be culti
vated which will prevent much of the
wrong that parents are obliged to rebuke
and punish.

The habit of threatening children is
equally objectionable. The desire of the
parent is to enforce obedience without
severity ; but the result is very different.
Obedience is not rendered, and the fail
ure to secure it by threatening disarms
authority. Not only so, but every un
executed threat gives the child an exam
ple of falsehood. What does he care
about the oft-repeated assurance that he

36 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

will be " shut up in the dark closet," or
"sent to the cellar," or "skinned alive,"
since he knows that neither the im
prisonment nor the skinning is likely
to follow ? Or if, by chance, the threat
ened punishment is undertaken, the child
well understands his own ability to win
in the fight. He has learned to control
such parental weakness, and gain his ob
ject; and he will not fail to improve
every opportunity. And, when the ac
tions of parents so often contradict their
words, children will naturally learn the
lesson, and contract the habit of lying.
What a harvest of insubordination and
misery has been reaped in those families
which have been reared under such mis
management!

To avoid the contemplated evil, let
parents adopt the following negative
rules : —

Never threaten unless you design to
execute.

PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 37

Never threaten a specific punishment
for an anticipated offence.

Never resort to stratagem in the man
agement of children.

These are indeed golden rules in fami
ly discipline; and, if strictly followed,
will "hide a multitude of sins."

Fourth, The flogging method of spoil
ing children must not be overlooked.

I do not mean to call in question the
propriety and necessity of sometimes
resorting to severity in the government
of children. There are times when, liter
ally, to " spare the rod" is to "spoil the

child." There are cases in the treatment

•

of which the severest punishment is not
only the first and only remedy, but an
expression of the greatest kindness ;
and this severity is more often made
necessary by the mismanagement of
parents than by any other cause.

The system of family government

38 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

which I here condemn adopts " flog
ging " as a rule. It offers a blow for
every offence. It does not recognize
kindness as the necessary acompaniment
of severity, and management as a better
way of preventing evil. Corporal pun
ishment so employed appeals to the
lower nature of the child, and hence
does not secure the object.

I once called to account, for a slight
offence, a little boy seven years of age
who had been intrusted to my care. I
said to him, "Now, Bertie, what shall I
do with you for thus disobeying my
orders?" His answer was, "Whip me,
of course." The little fellow had been
so roughly treated in his home relations,
that he knew of no other disciplinary
agency but u flogging ; " and expected
this for every act of disobedience. And
he supposed still further, that this pen
alty, like penance, atoned for the crime.

PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 39

Hence he must infer that the fear of
punishment is the only motive to obedi
ence. View this system as we may, it
tends to subvert the true idea of disci
pline, and to degrade its subjects in the
scale of moral beings. No well-managed
and well-governed family needs such
treatment; and no wise and judicious
parent ever resorts to it.

Fifth, The persuasive is still another
method of spoiling children.

Persuasion, and every other mild meas
ure which tends to induce good behavior,
are legitimate agencies in family govern
ment. The moral power of gentleness,
forbearance, kindness, good example,
wholesome counsel, and proffered reward,
should be recognized, as well as the
moral power of reproof and punishment ;
but none of these may ever take the
place of authority.

But the liability of mistake is not in

40 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

the use, but in the abuse, of gentle meas
ures in the training of the young.
Moral suasion has its own proper sphere,
in the management of the family, to pre
vent evil. When the passions are un
ruffled, and the loyalty of our children is
unquestioned, it is Godlike to win and
control them by the power of affection.
It is proper, also, to rebuke and chastise
when they have abused our love, and
broken away from our authority. This
spirit of disobedience manifests itself in
different ways, according to the disposi
tion of the child and the circumstances
of the case, — sometimes in cool and de
liberate disregard of our wishes, some
times in sullen and determined hostility,
sometimes in passion that vents itself in
screams and angry tears, and sometimes
in open resistance. In either case, it is
wrong and ruinous to attempt to coax
him into obedience. The effort may sue-

PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 41

ceed, and it may fail : it makes but little
difference which. Authority, which is
the only legitimate controlling power in
such cases, has either been entirely set
aside, or greatly weakened by an appeal
to argument. To resort to persuasion,
therefore, is a confession of weakness, and
a loss of governing power.

Sixth, Nearly allied to the persuasive
is the bribing method of spoiling chil
dren.

Here, again, let me not be misunder
stood. I do not condemn the principle
of rewarding fidelity in family govern
ment. This is just and proper when
rightly applied. But rewarding spon
taneous and voluntary obedience on the
part of the child is quite another thing
from offering rewards to induce or restore
good behavior. In the first case, real
merit is compensated; in the second, a
price is paid the child for doing what ob-

4*

42 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ligation and duty demand of all. In the
former instance, there is an acknowl
edged allegiance to parental control, and
submission to parental authority; in the
latter, the proffered reward becomes the
prevailing motive to action, and loyalty
is sacrificed to selfishness. Paying chil
dren for being good is not the exercise
of authority, nor can it secure obedience.
It is a ruinous bargain, — a bounty upon
impudence and insubordination. In all
such traffic, disobedience becomes a cur
rency in the family market to purchase
any desired indulgence. If a slight of
fence will induce the mother to give a
single piece of pie, cake, or candy, to her
rebellious child, stubbornness will pur
chase more, and a fierce open war still
more, to gratify a craving, perverted pal
ate, and to weaken the sense of filial
obligation. The price paid for a tardy
compliance with parental commands in-

PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 43

duces the child to act from wrong mo
tives, and hence becomes a bribe in the
hands of the parent. Who can fail to see
the fearful train of evils that must follow
such a process of family government?
And yet is not a better method than
those here described, when adopted, the
exception, and not the rule, in our Amer
ican families ?

V.
PAEENTAL EFFICIENCY,

T MAY now inquire for the true method
of family government. It is based
upon divinely-established authority. The
very relations of parents and children
demand absolute and unconditional con
trol on the one hand, and obedience on
the other.

But this obedience is not, like filial
love and faith, instinctive. Every child
of common capacity turns to his mother
for food, and, with instinctive confidence,
seeks her sympathy and protection in the
hour of fright and danger. He cannot
be taught to love and confide in that
mother ; for affection and confidence

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 45

spring up spontaneously in the young
heart. But not so with obedience. The
mother sometimes wonders and is grieved
that her darling, so affectionate, so con
fiding, and so dependent, does not always
and instantly regard her wishes and
obey her commands. But I can tell her
the reason. That child has no natural
impulse in that direction ; has no idea of
submission. The habit of obedience is
yet to be created under parental disci
pline, .and is wholly the work of educa
tion. Hence it must follow that insub
ordination in the family is not so much
the fault of children as of their parents.
Had the mother, fully conscious of her
right and duty in this regard, employed
her authority and strength to secure
obedience to her commands during in
fancy and childhood, stubbornness would
be unknown in that family. Should she,
then, become angry with her children

46 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

for faults which her own neglect has cul
tivated and encouraged ? The child must
be taught obedience. The mother has
failed to enforce that lesson, and hence
her disappointment and grief. In the
exercise of mistaken kindness, she failed
to check the first indications of insubor
dination, and thus lost control over her
child, and laid the foundation for the
misrule and ruin which naturally follow.
But it may not be too late, even now, for
her to establish her authority, and correct
the evil. Let her do this without delay,
and by any proper means necessary.

And how shall this authority be exer
cised so as to prevent the consequences
of disobedience ? Authority, like gravity
in the material world, must always be
the controlling power in the family ; but
it may generally be concealed. It is " a
power behind the throne," always ac
knowledged and constant in its influence ;

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 47

but its sceptre is invisible. It operates
without friction, and holds in subjection
the conflicting and struggling passions
during the forming periods of childhood
and youth.

Authority is mild and gentle in its
more effective aspects. When the moth
er makes it the basis of her government,
it is not necessary for her to assume stern
ness and severity towards her children,
nor to command them in a harsh and
abrupt manner. The more gentle, cour
teous, and kind in her expressions, the
better, if they understand them as the
mandates of authority, to be instantly
obeyed. Even the reasons for her re
quirements may be explained, when she
can properly leave the child to reflect
upon the course of conduct recom
mended, with a view of securing his ap
proval. But, if a question of obedience
is pending, no reasons should be given.

48 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

The principle of simple submission to
authority must first be settled, and cheer
ful compliance secured. Reasons should
never be offered as inducements to
secure obedience. If the mother stops
to parley with her rebellious child, he
will surely gain the victory.

Nor is this view of our subject incon
sistent with indulgence. The mother
may indulge her children in all that is
beneficial and harmless, and forbear with
them when in fault, and yet exercise
over them absolute and supreme control.
Indeed, this very indulgence increases
her power to control them; and, when
her authority is justly and gently exer
cised, it serves to strengthen their love
and confidence. But, when maternal
authority is sacrificed in an attempt to
win and hold childish affection, it is
always a failure. Children enjoy, for the
time, the mother's excessive indulgence ;

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 49

but they soon learn her weakness. As
years roll on, insubordination becomes
intolerable, and severe punishments ne
cessary. Then they come to view her
imbecility with mingled emotions of
pity and contempt. Indulgence, with
out government, always tends to this
result ; and just here the mistake is made
in family discipline. The only way to
gain the lasting love and gratitude of
our children is to govern them. Nor is
there, as I have already intimated, any
antagonism between free indulgence and
absolute control. Of course, they must
be restrained in every thing that is
dangerous or injurious ; but they may
be gratified to any extent, and safely, in
every thing that is harmless, so long as
they cheerfully yield to acknowledged
authority.

Another principle of great importance
underlies fa,mily discipline. The child

50 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

must never gain any desired object by
disobedience; must never be gratified
by doing wrong. The favors bestowed
must reward only fidelity and submission.
And, still further, inconvenience, priva
tion, or pain, must attend and follow
every act of transgression. This is ac
cording to the divine plan, after which
family government should be modelled.

And it must be certain that merited
punishment will follow every wrong act.
To illustrate: The child approaches too
near the fire, or puts his fingers into the
blaze of the candle ; and, every time, he
'suffers pain as a consequence. The re
sult is, he soon learns obedience to
Nature's law, and keeps at a proper dis
tance from the fire. A slight pain, and
the positive certainty of suffering, have
accomplished the object. Now for the
application : Let the mother see to it
that every time her child disobeys her

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 51

commands, or disregards her wishes, he
will .suffer for the wrong, and she will
seldom have occasion to inflict severe
penalties. The certainty more than the
severity of the punishment makes it effect
ual. I will call this treatment mild se
verity, and commend it to every thought
ful parent. If attended by steadiness,
firmness, and decision, it will accomplish
much more than scolding, threatening,
and whipping.

Another important thought in this
connection. As far as possible, let the
punishment be the natural consequence
of the fault which has been committed.
For instance : Suppose the child always
throws down his hat which he is required
to hang upon the rack, and the mother
wishes to correct the habit. She may
require him to return and hang up his
hat, and, as a penalty for the first offence,
detain him five minutes before he is

52 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

allowed to return to his play; for the
second offence, ten minutes; and so on
until the habit is cured. Here the pri
vation is associated with the fault, and
seems naturally to result from it. The
child has time for reflection, and feels the
influence of a strong motive to reform.
Or suppose the child is allowed a recess
from study, say for thirty minutes, but
he remains at play for forty minutes.
Let the mother punish him by shortening
his recess, first to twenty minutes, then
to ten, and finally allow him no time for
play until she is assured that he will re
turn promptly as directed.

All such punishments are designed to
correct and cure the evil for the future
benefit of the child. They may be mild
or severe as the case requires, but should
never be vindictive, nor administered in
anger. Promptness and firmness are
demanded in correcting the faults of

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 53

children, but harshness and ill-temper
never.

Kindness and sympathy are powerful
disciplinary agencies, and should always
accompany reproof and severity. Let
the child be made to understand that
every look of disapprobation, every
word of rebuke, and every penalty in
flicted, is prompted by maternal love, and
the very fact will tend strongly to sub
due the rebellious spirit. And mutual
sympathy between parents and children
operates to secure the same result.
Look at the natural effect of sympathy in
its material and mental aspects. The
habits of one person are imparted to the
whole company : cheerfulness and joy, or
sorrow and sadness, expressed by one in
dividual, carry either happiness or gloom
to the hearts of the circle in which he
mingles. It is through sympathy that
mankind gain control over each other in

5*

54 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

the common affairs of life. They cherish
the feelings and embrace the opinions of
those they love; and, if these opinions
are changed in maturer years, it is more
the result of sympathy than argument.
Hence we can readily understand the
power of this principle over childhood.
The child is in full sympathy with the
true mother, clings to her in the hour
of danger, believes and confides in her
with unwavering confidence, imitates
her actions, treasures up her words, and
imbibes her very feelings and emotions.
This results partly from the intimate rela
tions they sustain to each other, and
partly from judicious training. The de
gree of love and confidence which the
child cherishes for his mother depends
upon the amount of sincere sympathy she
manifests in his childish hopes and fears,
joys and sorrows, recreations and amuse
ments, ideas and fancies. The more

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 55

childlike the parent, the better qualified
she is to manage and guide her house
hold. Hence the great importance of
gaining the confidence and love of our
children, and the still greater necessity
of being ourselves, in character and life,
what we desire them to become.

We have no right to expect that these
children will naturally do right, rather
than wrong. Facts are against such a
conclusion. Indeed, accountability pre
supposes instruction as to what is right
and wrong; and, when they begin to
recognize this distinction, both the good
and the bad in their conduct should
have our attention. We should not only
rebuke and punish the wrong, but also
commend the right with equal fidelity.
Serious mistakes are often made in deal
ing with the principle here involved.
For illustration : The child tells the
truth many times during the week, and,

56 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

in some instances, under special provoca
tion to deceive ; but the mother regards
truth-telling as a matter of course, and
offers no commendation. Finally the
temptation becomes too strong, and the
child tells a falsehood, — one lie against
many instances of truth-telling ; and he
is assailed at once with reproaches and
punishments. The reproof and chastise
ment may be proper, both in kind and
degree ; but, if the mother has failed to
commend her child for his fidelity, she
has omitted the most important part of
her duty. Such encouragement would
tend to form and strengthen the habit of
well-doing, and to weaken the power of
evil. To commend pure thoughts, cor
rect motives, and right actions, is to aid
the child in his efforts to establish a char
acter of integrity and uprightness.

I do not mean by these suggestions
to encourage the indiscriminate praise

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 57

and flattery of children by their parents.
This would defeat the end in view by
cultivating vanity and self-conceit. Praise
what is praiseworthy, rebuke what is
wrong ; and the influence of parental
discipline will tend to develop only -the
more noble elements of character.

There is one instance where the
mother never makes a mistake in the
application of this principle; viz., while
her children are learning the arts of
walking and talking. Mark the feeble,
staggering, and awkward exhibition of
that little girl in her first attempts to
walk ; and her half-uttered sounds, sylla
bles, and words, as she attempts to ex
press her rude thoughts in language.
But did any mother ever make such a
mistake as to scold and criticise her
little daughter for tottering to fall ; for
her awkwardness, and the crookedness
of her way; or for her stammering

58 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

utterances? Never: encouragement and
praise only fall from her lips. Every ex
pression of her countenance and every
word she utters indicate her excessive
delight in the efforts and success of her
child. She knows that all those mistakes
and blunders result from weakness and
inexperience, and will in due time be
corrected.

Why, then, cannot that mother pursue
the same course in the general manage
ment of her children? Most of their
imperfections result from childish weak
ness, as really as in walking and talking.
Let her commend their struggles to over
come temptations, and speak gently and
kindly of their faults, with the assurance
that time and experience will do much
to correct them. Develop the good, and
the evil will die out from neglect. This
principle is of universal application.

Consider another point; viz., the ac-

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 59

tivity of children, — the only examples
of u perpetual motion" yet discovered.
Whence this restlessness? It comes from
the earth, the air, and the sun, — the
great source of vitality discoverable in
animal and vegetable life. This force is
u pent up " in children, and is as neces
sary to their vitality and growth as
breathing is to their existence. It must
be liberated, and for the most part in
aimless activity, frolic, and mischief.
Why, then, censure or punish the child
for his restlessness? He has no ability
to keep still, and it is an absolute wrong
to attempt to repress his activity. Phys
ical development and health, and even
mental growth and vigor, depend upon
it. Parents should understand these
laws, and adapt the treatment of their
children to this demand of their nature.
"Fun and frolic" are essential to child
hood, and should be encouraged and

60 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

controlled, rather than restrained and
rebuked.

I have said that filial obedience is not
instinctive, but the result of education.
It is also true that reason and judgment
are not early developed. The mother
will be disappointed if she expects her
child to render spontaneous obedience to
her commands, or that he will judge cor
rectly as to the safety or propriety of his
own actions. He never judges that it
is best to do what his own inclinations
disapprove. He is not inclined to take
medicine, and cannot be argued into the
belief that it is best for him to do so.
He prefers to play rather than go to
school ; and no amount of reasoning will
convince him that he should clwose the
latter. He has formed an attachment for
unsafe playmates and companions, and
.does not see the necessity of being re
moved from them. His judgment is

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 61

immature and unreliable, and hence
should not be appealed to in such
matters. He should be entirely under
parental direction and control during
this forming period of life.

Nor can we expect the child to know
any thing of justice, right, and duty,
until he has been instructed in regard to
the relations and obligations of human
society. To illustrate : Two children are
playing upon the floor, and find a toy
which both very much desire. Each is
governed wholly by his own selfish
wishes, and demands that toy exclusively
for himself; and a quarrel is at once in
augurated. But are these children in
fault, if they have never been taught the
justice, propriety, and duty of yielding
to each other's wishes, and gratifying
each other's desires? So it is with truth
fulness. Children know nothing of the
desirableness of truth- telling, or the wick-

G2 THE PARENTS MANUAL.

edness of falsehood, unless they have
been taught this important lesson. How
can they know even what truth is, unless
by instruction ?

And what is truth to the child ? He
is delighted with his newly-acquired
power of expressing ideas of external
objects by the use of words. He comes
in from his play, and says to his mother,
"Me see a horse." — " No," replies the
mother : " the horses are all out of doors.
You don't see a horse here in the house."
But he re-assures her by a repetition of
his childish expression. Now, is that a
falsehood ? or did the child tell the truth ?
He did see the image of the horse formed
from the reality in his own mind; and
was not that a reality to him ?

Further to illustrate : The little boy is
about to join his brother in the yard to
play, and takes with him two apples
•which his mother gives him, with instruc-

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 63

tion to share them with his brother. He
resolves, as he goes out, to divide with
him; but afterwards changes his mind,
and eats both himself. When he returns
from his play, his mother asks the boy if
he gave his little brother the apple ; and
he replies that he did ! And, as it was
in his thought and purpose in the begin
ning, the statement was true. Applied
to the act, it was false. But how can the
child, without more instruction and ex
perience, be expected to analyze and
distinguish between these two cases,
and especially when he remembers, that,
only the day before, his mother told him
a " bear story " that had not one word
of truth in it ? Indeed, what is the
difference between the imaginary truths
which children sometimes tell and the
imaginary falsehoods which they hear
from their parents or read in their
sabbath - school books or other fiction

64 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

provided for them by professional story
tellers?

This view of the subject will, at least,
teach parents to deal gently and patiently
with the early falsehoods of their children,
which are often nothing more than the
fancies of their imagination. They have
no right to expect that young children
will, at first, understand and feel the ob
ligation to speak the truth, and should be
all the more in earnest and faithful in
impressing upon their tender minds these
great moral lessons. They need instruc
tion and encouragement more than severe
rebuke or punishment. Let truthfulness
be commended, and the pure principles
and precepts of the Holy Bible be
brought to bear upon the heart and
conscience whenever any falseness and
wrong has been discovered in the con
duct of the child. By such means, both
truth-telling and truth-loving will be in-

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 65

culcated, until they shall ripen into
habits based upon settled principles of
integrity, and shall regulate and control
the life.

I will here repeat a fundamental prin
ciple in family government ; viz., parental
authority must be absolute. The only
question touching this point, that will
admit of discussion, is, What means shall
be employed to establish and maintain
this authority? I have argued that gen
tle measures, if early and wisely em
ployed, would always accomplish the
object ; that dealing properly and faith
fully with the mind and heart of the child
would enable the parents to avoid, for
the most part, the necessity of inflicting
physical pain. But such wisdom and
skill are not the birthright of all parents ;
nor are they attainable by all. Some
lack the ability, others the requisite
knowledge, and still others firmness,

6*

66 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

patience, and perseverance, in the use of
the best methods of family government.
As a consequence, insubordination reigns
in many a household. Here the question
returns to us, Shall parental authority be
enforced? I answer, unhesitatingly, in
the affirmative. It must be maintained by
mildness or severity, as the occasion may
demand. Taking families as we find
them, corporal punishment is sometimes
not only proper, but absolutely necessary ;
and, when such cases occur, the punish
ment should be adapted to the circum
stances of the case, and should be
promptly and faithfully administered,
not as " a last resort," or "an evil to be
deplored," but as an appropriate and
saving remedy. It should never be in
flicted in anger, but always attended and
followed by kindness and sympathy.
u Solomon's rod," which, if u spared," will
" spoil the child," is undoubtedly a sym-

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 67

bol of authority, as the sceptre is the
symbol of power ; but the right and duty
to establish and maintain authority im
plies the right and duty to use the literal
rod when necessary, as really as other
and milder measures. Those parents
accomplish the end enjoined by the pre
cepts of Solomon who exercise complete
control over their children, either with
or without the infliction of bodily pain;
and those who fail to govern "spoil "
their children, however freely they may
use the rod.

The principle here laid down is, that
the parent must govern, and the child
obey; and, if obedience is refused, it
must be enforced. It is unfortunate that
the mother, through neglect or misman
agement, has allowed her children to
grow up in rudeness and insubordination ;
and that the father, through incapacity or
want of time, has failed to retain control

68 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

over them. As the result, they become
more and more ungovernable in the
family; will carry their turbulent spirit
into the school and into society ; and will,
in maturer life, defy the authority of the
State and the laws of God. But if such
habits have been formed, and this dis
obedience and recklessness cannot be
checked except by harsh measures, every
consideration of duty as parents, and of
affection and interest for the children,
urges this severe course of treatment.

The amputation of a mortified limb is
a terrible remedy ; but it often saves life.
The importance of early training, to
secure obedience by gentle means, cannot
be over-estimated ; but if this duty has
been neglected, and ill-temper and obsti
nacy in maturer life have brought these
children into collision with their parents,
they must be conquered and subdued.

Says the younger Edwards to a
friend, —

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 69

" Remember, there is but one mode of family gov
ernment. I have brought up and educated fourteen
boys, two of "whom I brought up, or rather suffered to
grow up, without the rod. One of these was my
youngest brother ; the other, Aaron Burr, my sister's
only son (both of them were orphans from infancy).
And, from my observation and experience, I tell you,
sir, ' maple-sugar government ' will never answer.
Beware how you let the first act of disobedience in
your little boys go unnoticed, and, unless evidence of
repentance be manifest, unpunished."

A practical question here urges itself
upon our consideration. Shall the child
be subdued in every instance, or punished
only for disobedience, and allowed to re
tire without submission ? If the parent
has provoked the controversy, — as may
be the case by some rash or unreasonable
act of her own, — it may be the easiest if
not the best way to solve the difficulty,
to regard the act of disobedience as final,
and punish for this alone, leaving the
command out of the question. But there
is danger in this course, even in such

70 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

cases. The child has rebelled, and has
been punished simply for disobedience.
He has not submitted : his punishment
has not subdued him. Indeed, he has
virtually conquered in the contest.

The parent should avoid, with great
care, every unnecessary provocation;
should see to it that her commands are
reasonable, and are given in the right
spirit; and then she may insist upon
unconditional and immediate obedience.
If this is refused, she should proceed to
enforce her orders, and never dismiss the
case until this object is accomplished.
No definite rule can be given as to the
kind and degree of punishment to be
inflicted in such cases : each judicious
mother may settle that question for herself.
The principle is unchangeable : obedience
must be rendered; but the method of se
curing this result may be varied by
circumstances. There are certain kinds

PARENTAL EFFICIENCY. 71

of corporal punishment, however, which
are never proper or tolerable. Among
these are standing or sitting for a long
time in an unnatural position, hold
ing weights in the outstretched hand,
and shaking the child by hold upon
his shoulders. Such violence threatens
physical injury, and therefore is wrong.
When severe punishments are needed,
they should be adapted to the circum
stances of the offence, and inflicted
promptly, deliberately, and so thor
oughly that a repetition will not be
called for.

VI.

CHARACTER AND HABITS,

nnHE character and habits of childhood
are the results of family-training, and
they will re-appear in manhood. Hence
the great importance of parental care
and solicitude as they contemplate their
duty from this stand-point. The child
must establish a character of integrity,
and be trained to habits of honesty,
benevolence, and industry, or he will be
lost to himself and to society. And yet
how many parents not only impart no
practical lessons to aid in forming this
character and these habits, but, by their
own life and management, encourage
dishonesty, selfishness, and indolence !

72

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 73

They practise deception in dealing with
their children, and thus teach them to be
false. They make promises which they
never fulfil, threaten punishments which
they never inflict, and sometimes tell
their children absolute falsehoods in re
gard to their food, medicine, or sports.
They do not realize the fact nor under
stand the influence of such treatment
upon the heart and character of sus
ceptible childhood ; but it must be
disastrous. Their own example of truth
fulness should be accompanied by posi
tive moral lessons drawn from life and
from the Scriptures of truth touching
this subject to enforce the precepts of
honesty.

Selfishness, too, is often encouraged
and cultivated under parental example.
We niny not expect benevolence to
spring up spontaneously in the heart of
the child. It is a plant of tender

74 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

growth, and must be nourished by
divine as well as human influence.
Without knowledge and experience,
the child cannot appreciate the rights
and wants of others, nor his own duty
in regard to them. His first attention
must necessarily be directed to himself;
and the natural tendency of his life is
to form selfish habits. To counteract
this tendency, and to cultivate the feel
ing and habit of benevolence, is evi
dently an important duty of parents.
Indeed, it is through parental fidelity
alone that the divine promise, " Train
up a child in the way he should go, and
when he is old he will not depart from
it," can be realized. The evil contem
plated is often the result of excessive
care and indulgence. If all the wants
of the child are anticipated, and every
member of the household is accustomed
to run at his bidding, the u little dar-

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 75

ling" will have a right to conclude that
he is the most important person on the
premises, and will expect and demand
unlimited gratification. So indulged
and gratified, the habits of self-denial
and self-reliance, which are indispensable
to success and happiness in life, will not
be formed; nor will the ear be trained
to listen to the calls of mercy and
benevolence.

HARMLESS INDULGENCE.

The indulgence of children in every
thing that is harmless, as I have said, is
eminently proper. We have, therefore,
only to distinguish between the harmless
and harmful, to understand and avoid the
contemplated evil. Whatever endangers
life is harmful ; and hence children must
not be indulged in eating poison, or
playing upon the margin of a precipice.
Whatever endangers health is harmful;

76 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

and hence eating at improper times, in
improper quantities, or of improper food,
and especially of those luxuries which
serve only to gratify a perverted appe
tite, should never be allowed. Whatever
tends to deprave the moral character, or
to cultivate and strengthen the selfish
propensities, is harmful ; and hence " evil
communications," corrupting literature,
and every degrading habit, should be
strictly prohibited.

Our cities are thronged with young
men from the country who are on the
highway to ruin through want of self-
restraint, and love of pleasure. And
where and how were these victims of
dissipation, lust, and crime, trained? I
answer, In the home school of selfishness,
and under the instruction of their own
unwise and too-indulgent parents. The
depraved appetite was there formed, and
the selfish passions there cherished and

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 77

indulged. Can it be possible that the
seed sown in early childhood, and wa
tered by the tears and warmed by the
sunlight of parental love,- has sprung up,
grown, and ripened into such a fearful
harvest? It is even so. The enemy
u sowed tares " while the divinely or
dained guardians of the home "slum
bered and slept."

And vanity, another form of selfish
ness, is the product of early training, and
more often in matters of dress. How
numerous the young women of our land
who have become the victims of fashion
and folly ; who disdain solid culture and
genuine refinement ; who seek their great
est enjoyment in the gay assembly, at
places of amusement, and over the latest
and most exciting novel ; and who, with
distorted views of life, judge of merit by
the false standard of wealth and social po
sition ! They too often ignore superior tal-

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78 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ents and high attainments unless decked
in the splendor which money can pur
chase. Such vanity and selfishness can
plead no apology, and can find no cure.
But who has distilled such wasting folly
into the minds of these daughters ? Was
it not the mother's example and precept
that first gave her little girl a fondness
for dress, and an admiration for fashion
able display, which, in her riper years,
occupy all her time and thoughts ? Chil
dren should be tastefully and neatly
dressed, and should acquire a love for
the beautiful in nature and art ; but they
should be taught, at the same time, the
proper use of apparel, and the great ex
cellence of moral and intellectual attain
ments to elevate and adorn female
character. If properly taught and man
aged through the period of girlhood,
they will become women who may have
wealth and culture without being proud

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 79

and vain ; who may become fashionable
in the true sense of that term, and yet
judge themselves and others by the ap
proved standard of excellence.

EMULATION.

Selfishness in the child is developed
also through emulation. We must here
distinguish between the good and the
bad in the application of this principle.
Emulation that seeks excellence and dis
tinction for their own sake, and for the
advantages they bring to their possessor,
is commendable. It implies a strong de
sire for superiority ; but it has honor for its
basis, and a desire for greater usefulness.
Hence Dryden says with propriety, —

" A noble emulation heats your breast/'

But, when competition degenerates into
rivalry, it engenders envy, resentment,
and detraction, and seeks only self-grati-

80 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

fication. The former aims to merit suc
cess: the latter is satisfied to obtain it.
An appeal to this principle in the family
or school usually awakens only an en
vious and selfish ambition. And hence
the offering of prizes to the one who
shall excel all others in a given task is
open to serious objections. Such a prize
is not a reward of merit, but of success,
which is often gained through superior
ability or superior advantages, and at
the expense of every noble and generous
feeling. This kind of emulation may
secure to one or two of a class a higher
order of attainments ; but this is frequent
ly gained at the sacrifice of that gener
ous sympathy and true manliness which
are the only sure guaranty of future suc
cess and usefulness. The many who have
made the greater effort, and are really
more deserving, are wronged, and the
successful competitor is always , injured

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 81

more than benefited by such promotion.
Pride and selfishness, under such training,
soon become the ruling passion of his
heart. Hence I would say to parents,
as I have said to teachers, Let all prizes
offered to children be based upon real
merit ; and let them be given to all the
deserving, instead of one.

Again: selfishness sometimes degen
erates into dishonesty, which manifests
itself in the little business transactions
among children. A favorite son, for
instance, boasts that he has u got the
best end of the bargain " in exchanging
knives or pencils with his playmates;
and his doting father smiles approvingly
upon his success, and marks this act of
shrewdness as evidence of special busi
ness talent. The boy has had the exam
ple, it may be, of his father and of his
father's neighbors, and has observed that
overreaching is the common habit of

82 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

many in society in the transactions of
e very-day life ; and why may he not
practise sharpness, and be commended
for it? If petty fraud is so common
among men, why may not their sons follow
their example, and learn the art of trade
thus early? Is it strange that we so
often read of theft and forgery, and
peculations from government, and em
bezzlements from bank and railroad cor
porations, when so many of our youth
are trained in the school of selfishness
from early childhood ? Whatever we de
sire to have expressed in the nation's life
must be taught to our children both by
example and precept. And what so im
portant as strict integrity and benevo
lence, in distinction from dishonesty and
selfishness? But these habits, also, must
be formed under faithful family training,
if they are to appear in practical life.
They are based upon the golden -rule of

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 83

Christianity, " Thou shalt love thy neigh
bor as thyself; " and in this loving and
doing for others "there is great reward.17
It is not in receiving benefits from our
fellow-men or from God that we experi
ence the greatest happiness, but in labor
ing for their good, and in the exercise of
the benevolent spirit. And this impor
tant lesson can be easily impressed upon
the tender hearts of children by teach
ing them to share their food and play
things with each other. Unfortunate is
that mother who has only one child to
train for her country and her God ;
unfortunate indeed is that child who has
no brothers or sisters to call forth his
generous sympathies and self-denying
actions. He may, on this very account,
grow up a u spoiled child " through
selfish indulgence. But that child who
has learned this important lesson in
early life may have begun a journey

84 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

across the continent, or a voyage across
the ocean, to carry civilization and Chris
tianity to the destitute and needy.

INDUSTBY.

To the same end, children should be
trained to habits of industry. u The idle
brain is the Devil's work-shop." And
this is not all : industry rightly under
stood and directed calls into exercise
the benevolent feelings. Children should
be taught to work voluntarily and cheer
fully, and for the sake of helping their
parents and doing good to all around
them. And this helpful service may be
rendered still more extensively, as op
portunity offers, by earning money, not
to be spent for their own gratification,
but to enable them to contribute of
their own means for the relief of suf
fering humanity. To forget self, and
love others, is Godlike ; and tins is a

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 85

very important lesson for childhood to
learn.

How instructive the answer of our
Saviour to the bigoted Jews who sought
to slay him because he wrought miracles
on the sabbath day ! — " My Father work-
eth hitherto, and I work." The " Father
worketh." Prompted by infinite love,
he works for the welfare of his creatures ;
and it is only through the working of
his power that his love is manifested.
Christ worked to relieve the suffering
poor, to comfort the afflicted, to bind up
the broken heart, and to breathe into the
benighted soul conscious of sin and guilt
the sunlight of hope, joy, and blessed
ness. And he is our example. The
spirit he manifested, and the lessons he
taught, should be imparted to our chil
dren, that they may become co-workers
with him in the world's elevation and
redemption. For the want of such train-

86 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ing, how many young men of our day
are spending their lives in indolence, and
wasting their energies both of body and
mind in useless or ruinous indulgence !
And how many young women, lost to
every noble sentiment and aim in life,
spend their years in the cold formalities
of etiquette, in frivolous gossip among
their equals, and in dressing and pleasure-
seeking! Let parents, if they can, esti
mate the consequences of such habits to
their children and to the world, and they
will have a measure of their own remiss-
ness in neglecting duties so important.

GOOD MANNERS.

The family should also be a school of
good manners. Manners and morals are
intimately connected. One is the coun
terpart of the other, and both are indis
pensable to constitute the true man or
woman. To quote an illustration ,which

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 87

I have employed in another work,
u Morals are the basis of human charac
ter ; and manners are its decorations,
which serve to make it more attractive
and lovely. Morals are the staple of
human laws, and the regulators of human
governments ; and refined manners serve
as gildings to make laws more effective,
and government more secure." And,
while I urge the necessity of training
children to habits of integrity and virtue,
I claim that it is also the duty of parents
to give special attention to their manners.
It is a mistaken notion that morality, or
even piety, alone, will so far regulate
the conduct that social culture will be
unnecessary. How often do we have
occasion to regret the lack of refinement
in those whose characters we admire ! and
all the more do we pity them because
of their generosity and goodness. Such
persons would not violate the laws of

88 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

good breeding, if they knew it; but, to
their sorrow, they have learned that
canons of etiquette are not found in
creeds and codes of Christian morals.
They are liable to come to our table
with u dirty nails," or to a mop their
foreheads" with their napkins; and yet
they would be utterly ignorant that they
had given offence by so doing.

Good manners must be taught in the
family, both by precept and example, if
we expect our children to become true
gentlemen and ladies, fitted to mingle in
refined society. It is not sufficient oc
casionally to tell them how they should
behave, and to rebuke them for some
grave offence. They must be trained to
habits of politeness with as much care
as to habits of obedience and integrity.
No father would expect his son to un
derstand practical engineering without
much study and practice. No mother

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 89

expects her daughter to become a skil
ful pianist without critical instruction
and long-continued recitations. And how
absurd to suppose that gracefulness of
manners can be acquired by hearing the
rules of good behavior, or reading manu
als of etiquette ! But many children do
not enjoy even these privileges. They
grow up entirely ignorant of the first
principles of politeness; and, when com
pelled to go into society, they experience
painful embarrassment in consequence of
their deficiency. This is not their fault ;
but it is none the less the source of their
torture.

In other families the theory of civility
may be taught, and rudeness sometimes
rebuked ; and yet the laws of politeness
are practically disregarded.

To illustrate : The mother goes out to
make an evening call, and takes with her
a little son; and she is mortified to see

8*

90 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

him standing in the hall with his hat on,
conversing with the lady of the house ;
and she rebukes him severely for his
rudeness. Now, if this mother had re
quired her son to uncover his head when
ever he came into her presence, would
he have been guilty of such a mistake ?
The children carry their home habits into
society. If the little daughter has been
required to practise civility in her inter
course with the family, she will not fail
to make a graceful salutation when she
meets the stranger at a public party.
To secure these desirable results, there
must be constant home-training in the
art of good behavior; and this children
have a right to expect and demand of
their parents. They must be taught how
to enter and leave a room ; how to
bow, walk, turn, sit, rise; how to intro
duce people to each other ; how to be
have at the table; and, in a wc^d, how

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 91

to conduct themselves under the varied
circumstances of life. Then will they be
fitted for access to refined society, and to
come under the influence and instruction
of the wise and cultivated.

But some maintain that the cultiva
tion of habits of courtesy tends to make
children affected; and affectation, they
say, is more offensive than awkwardness.
" Children must be allowed to be nat
ural" But it is natural for some children
to eat greedily, and with their knives,
at the table, and entirely to neglect their
superiors. Others are naturally inclined
to slouch into the presence of strangers
with their heads covered, to speak in a
loud and boorish manner, to use the
parlor as if it were a gymnasium, and to
interrupt and contradict their parents
when conversing with visitors. Should
such natural habits be tolerated, or cor
rected? But, under faithful early train-

92 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ing, children become civil and courteous
without being affected.

SELF-RELIANCE.

I have alluded to the importance of
self-reliance as a practical habit in life.
It cannot be over-estimated; nor will
parents be likely to give this thought
too much prominence in the training of
their children.

Helplessness and dependence are con
ditions of infancy and childhood ; but chil
dren cannot always lean upon parental
arms. They must be taught self-reliance.
The child, at first, has no confidence
in his own ability to walk. He totters
and falls because he does not trust his
own strength to sustain him. Hence
the mother holds his outstretched hand,
and leads him to his destined goal; or
he leans upon a chair by which he has
learned to measure his doubtful ' steps.

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 93

Now, how docs the mother teach her dar
ling to walk ? Not by giving him more
strength, but by teaching him self-reli
ance. He must learn to walk by walk
ing ; and after a few trials, with proper
assistance, he is left in the middle of the
floor, and encouraged to come to his
mother's arms. No matter if he cries
for help : he must not be assisted. No
matter if he tumbles : the effort will
give him confidence, and this confidence
will give him success. In a similar man
ner he must be taught to take care of
his own person, to provide for his own
wants, and to depend upon his own
efforts for the accomplishment of every
desirable object.

It is the special duty of parents to
cultivate the habit of self-reliance in
their children in every thing relating to
active life. If they fail in this in any
instance, the child's education is necessa-

94 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

rily defective, and his future success will
be doubtful.

Circumstances, however, sometimes do
for children what parents have failed to
do. They are born in honest poverty,
and trained in the school of industry.
Their straitened circumstances have com
pelled them to form the very habits upon
which success depends. Such parents
often envy their more wealthy neighbors,
and lament that they cannot furnish their
own children the means of personal grati
fication and the aid which many of their
associates enjoy. But what facts does
the history of these families reveal ? Often
the children of poverty succeed, while
those reared under the influence of wealth
fail. And why ? I answer, Because the
poor man's sons are compelled to form
habits of industry, self-reliance, and econ
omy, and early to shift for themselves;
while those who inherit riches sometimes

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 95

live in indolence and luxury which result
in dissipation, or in helplessness and de
pendence. Our country could furnish
many living illustrations of this truth.
Every neighborhood, every public insti
tution, and every profession, has its ex
amples.

But there are noble exceptions to this
rule, where children improve their easy
circumstances to secure a higher degree
of self-culture, and to gain a higher posi
tion in life. The necessities of poverty,
if accompanied by integrity and virtue,
may prove a greater blessing to a fam
ily of children than the possession of
wealth ; and yet the children of wealthy
parents should be so trained in early
life, that their money will not prove a
temptation to indolence, but an incen
tive and aid to greater industry and
more noble efforts.

96 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

SELF-CULTURE.

Again : self-reliance is indispensable to
self-culture, which is the only condition
of intellectual and moral growth. All
available instruction is drawn from the
child's own resources. True education is
not imparted, but self-produced. It re
sults from the exercise of the powers to
be developed. And this work begins, not
in the school, but in the mother's arms ;
and success or failure depends much
upon her training. To call forth arid
direct the energies of mind and soul is
her special work. Activity is the control
ling agency, and growth and progress
the sure results. Coleridge once said,
u There is no standing still with the mind :
if it is not rising upward to become an
angel, it is sinking downward to become
a devil." With what care, therefore,
should this mental and moral activity be
directed ! The elements of true manhood

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 97

and womanhood are inborn ; but they can
be developed only by culture. Self-help
and self-reliance are both the means
and the conditions of success in life.
Knowledge does not spring from intui
tion. The mind is not merely a recepta
cle into which the lore of the schools can
be poured, but an activity to cull out
and appropriate whatever is valuable in
books, lectures, social intercourse, and
the voice of the living teacher. These
rouse the intellect to action, and develop
its latent energies. Now, the thought
to be emphasized in this connection is,
that education is a process of self-devel
opment, which should be encouraged by
parents to the extent of their ability.
Children should be required to do their
own thinking, and to draw their own in
ferences. They should be told but little,
but induced to discover as much as
possible. They should solve their own

98 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

problems, and be instructed only as to
how to apply themselves to the work.
Outside help weakens the power of self-
instruction. It is the business of the
mother and teacher to guide the intellect
to its appropriate food, to awaken its
appetites, and fix the attention. In this
way the child may be early taught the
lesson of self-reliance, and habituated to
the work of successful self-culture.

PRACTICAL LIFE.

And our children must be trained for
the practical duties of the business world.
If they live, the time is not far distant
when they must shift for themselves.
To insure success, they must acquire
habits of integrity, prudence, and econo
my ; they must learn the value and
proper uses of money, and must become
self-reliant and industrious. And it is
evident that home - training ^flust be

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 99

chiefly relied upon for the needed instruc
tion and discipline. Hence the money
question, in the management of children,
may be properly discussed in this connec
tion. Children, like older persons, desire
what money will purchase ; and the prac
tical question is, To what extent and in
what manner shall they be gratified?
The only way for them to learn the
use of money, either for their present or
future benefit, is by using it.

How, then, shall our children be taught
practically the important principles of
political economy? The more common
way of furnishing them money is to give
only when they ask for it, and in quanti
ties determined by the frequency and im
portunity of their calls. Let us inquire
how this method operates in a practical
way. If the boy finds that he can be
gratified only through importunity and
servility, he will soon lose all feelings of

100 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

delicacy and manly pride in business-
matters. 'He will learn to gain his ob
ject through artfulness and pertinacity,
and will have little inducement to take
care of his money, to form plans of ex
penditure, or to practise self-denial. The
amount to be obtained does not depend
upon his frugality or financial skill, but
upon his coaxing and persistency. Hence
the tendency of this fitful and uncertain
method of obtaining money is to foster
the growth of all the ignoble propensities
of the boy's nature, and to discourage
the cultivation of his better qualities.
I may, therefore, venture here to suggest
ua more excellent way." Let parents
fix upon a definite sum of money to be
given to the child at stated times. It
may be a weekly or monthly allowance,
of such an amount as is thought best for
the child to control. This should always
be promptly paid, and left entirely at

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 101

the disposal of the party receiving it.
Prompt payments by parents tend to cul
tivate the same habit in children ; and
giving them control of their own money
enables the parents to instruct them, and
to train them from their earliest years, to
habits of forecast, thrift, economy, and
benevolence. They must be taught to
distinguish between the useful and the
injurious, and encouraged to spend their
money only for what is harmless or really
beneficial, for their own gratification ; and
to contribute to the relief of the suffering
and needy, remembering that u it is more
blessed to give than to receive."

It is sometimes objected that this
method of furnishing money to children
leads them to regard these regular pay
ments as debts, instead of gifts, from their
parents, and hence they are liable to lose
all feelings of obligation ; but it is not
necessarily so. This systematic arrange-

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102 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ment does not prevent occasional gifts as
rewards of merit, or expressions of paren
tal affection. The object to be gained is
the cultivation of correct habits in the
use of money and in business-life more
than the winning of affection. Besides,
the bestowing of too many gifts upon
children results in the cultivation of self
ishness instead of love and a sense of
obligation. This should be avoided.

I will here allude to a modification of
the method of furnishing money to chil
dren above recommended, which may
be still better. Instead of giving the
money at stated periods, let parents open
an account with their children, or estab
lish a savings-bank where they can deposit
their money for safe keeping. Let each
one have a separate book of suitable size,
and properly ruled, in which the weekly
allowance is to be credited, and all
sums which the child desires to draw

CHARACTER AND HABITS. 103

be charged. This obviates the necessity
of prompt payments, and enables chil
dren early to become acquainted with
business forms, and habituated to the
management of their own affairs, in a sys
tematic manner; and after a short time,
and with proper instruction, they can
keep their own books, and transact their
own business. In this way parents
really open with their children a kind of
savings-bank, encouraging them to allow
to remain on interest the larger part of
their income, adding interest to principal,
until enough has accumulated to make
some profitable investment for the dis
tant future. Thus will something be
saved, and such business habits formed
as will tend to secure success in maturer
life. Under proper instructions, and
after limited practice, these children will
need but little dictation or restraint as
to the manner of spending or investing

104 THE PARENTS1 MANUAL.

their money. They will form a correct
judgment, and acquire an accuracy and
self-reliance which will be invaluable to
them. Better allow them to make some
blunders, to be corrected, than to deprive
them of the benefit of the discipline. We
may be as generous as we please with
our children ; but all business with them
should be transacted with promptness
and accuracy, in a business-like ivay.
Thus may we hope to prepare them for
success and usefulness in riper years.

VII.
RELIGIOUS TRAINING.

vast importance of religious
training for our children must not,
for a moment, be lost sight of. I urge
this point, not only in view of the per
sonal relations of these children to so
ciety, but in view of their own duty and
happiness in their eternal relations to
God.

It is conceded by all that morality is an
indispensable element in individual or na
tional character. But, without religion,
there could be no morality. Religion
takes every principle, and rule of morals,
under its peremptory sanction ; and every
pure precept which has ever been incul-

105

106 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

cated, either by infidels or Christians, has
had one common origin, — the inspired
word of God.

Infidelity is an element of national
decay. The State could hope to gain no
strength in the future from an army of
children educated exclusively under its
influence. Such a training could not fit
them for the duties of citizenship in a
Christian community, and under laws
founded upon Christian principles.

The elements of a noble manhood,
which develop and inspire Christian pa
triotism, are not inborn. Benevolence,
love of truth, sobriety, and industry,
spring not from inclination or habit,
but result from the teachings and regen
erating power of the gospel. Our youth
must be educated under its influence,
and imbued with its spirit, if we may
hope for the prosperity and perpetuity
of the republic.

RELIGIOUS TRAINING. 107

The religious training of their children
is the first duty of parents ; and they
must take this work into their own
hands. So said the inspired penman
when giving the Decalogue to the Jews :
" And these words, which I command
thee this day, shall be in thy heart ;
and thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children, and shalt talk of them
when thou sittest in thy house, and when
thou walkest by the way, and when thou
liest down, and when thou risest up."

And a still higher authority enjoins
upon parents the same great duty:
" Suffer little children to come unto me"
said our Saviour. This injunction is ad
dressed directly to all fathers and moth
ers to whose care have been committed
" little children." Now is the time when
they are to be instructed in divine things,
and when they are to be suffered and
directed to come to Jesus, the great

108 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

Teacher and Guide of sinful men. Their
minds are just opening to understand the
visible and invisible things which are
revealed ; their hearts are now tender and
susceptible of durable impressions; and
their growing life is waiting, as it were,
to be directed by the loving hand of the
mother into the path of duty, peace, and
usefulness.

The personal welfare of our children
recurs for our consideration. A life of
virtue and piety stands opposed to a life
of vice and crime. The former is a life
of happiness ; the latter, of misery. The
one leads to honor and usefulness; the
other, to disgrace and ruin. And no
right-minded parent can be indifferent
as to which of these paths his children
tread. Vital interests are involved in
this question, when contemplated only
from a worldly stand-point; and when
we admit the doctrine of a future and

RELIGIOUS TRAINING. 109

endless life, of which the present is but
an introduction, and for which it is a
preparation, the subject assumes a fearful
importance. The duty of parents, in
obedience to the divine injunction, to
teach the great truths of Christianity dili
gently unto their children, now becomes
imperative and imposing.

And what truths of Christianity are so
important for our children to understand ?
I answer, first of all, that great truth in
subordination to which all the moral pre
cepts of the Decalogue are proclaimed ;
viz., that there is one, and only one, great
First Cause, who is the source of all
human obligations, and the only object
of human worship. This is the founda
tion of all revealed truth. Without it
human life is a desert, shut in on every
side by an impenetrable horizon. With
out this truth, man knows nothing of
his origin, and nothing of his end. Let

10

110 THE PARENTS1 MANUAL.

parents, therefore, teach this to their
children, with all the accompanying pre
cepts, so well calculated to regulate hu
man conduct and inspire human hopes.

And u suffer" the little children to come
to Jesus, the perfect exemplification of
all religious truth. Send them not to
the schools of the Pharisees to learn les
sons of morality, dogmas, and creeds, but
to Him "who teaches as never man
taught." Induce them to imitate his
example, obey his precepts, and cherish
his spirit, and they will attain to a higher
morality, a purer life, and more exalted
joys, than human philosophy has ever
taught. The yearning tenderness which
has flowed from the words and deeds of
Christ towards " little children " is well
calculated to call forth their love, and win
them to obedience.

The truth of God's existence and attri
butes can be impressed upon the minds

RELIGIOUS TRAINING. Ill

of children by directing their attention
to the visible creation. The starry
heavens above them speak of his good
ness, wisdom, and power; the wide ex
panse of living verdure, fertile fields,
shady groves, and blooming gardens,
express his constant love and bountiful
care. All Nature proclaims a God, and
invites us to reverence and adore.

Instruction in these great truths must
be drawn from the Holy Bible. We can
direct our children to no other fountain,
can give them no other guide of life, and
can point them to no other Saviour, than
is herein revealed. Here are unfolded
the institutions of the gospel, the means
of grace, and every duty that man owes
to his fellow-man and to God. It is our
special duty, therefore, as parents, to im
press upon their tender minds the pure
principles drawn from these sacred pages.

But children must be dealt with as

112 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

children. They should not be so intro
duced to the theory and practice of
Christian principles and observances as
to be repelled and disgusted : they should
be allured to the delightful paths of virtue
and piety.

They cannot comprehend the unmean
ing technicalities of religion ; and hence
parents should not read to them homilies
on Christian ethics or systematic theol
ogy. The truth must be opened to their
minds through their own channels of
thought and action. Childhood must be
amused. Its innocent sports are its very
life and activity ; and, as intimated in
another connection, this activity is the
only condition of its development and
growth. Children, therefore, in their
freedom, and in the use of their toys,
obey an imperative law of their being.
The question is, How far in their religious
culture should they be restrained ? The

RELIGIOUS TRAINING. 113

sabbath was made for children as well as
for men and women. But was it de
signed to abridge their freedom, and cut
off all their enjoyments ? Must all their
books and toys be laid aside, and they be
subjected to a formal service for which
they have no taste, and in which they can
now take no pleasure ? If so, the sab
bath will become a burden, to be antici
pated with dread, and endured with
impatience, and all its beneficial influence
worse than lost to these children. It
must follow, therefore, if parents would
bring their children under a wholesome
religious influence, they must make the
sabbath a delight ; must adapt its duties
to their nature ; and select and control
their amusements, instead of suppressing
them. The Divine Master delights to
see " little children" happy on the sab
bath as well as on week-days ; and must

approve of their freedom and childish
10*

114 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

glee, if only it can be tempered and
sweetened by a holy religious influence.
I will not presume to specify as to how
these desirable results can be secured,
but would earnestly enjoin upon all par
ents who seek the religious welfare of
their children, as far as possible, to make
the principles and precepts of our holy
religion pleasant and attractive to them.
" And, ye fathers, provoke not your chil
dren to wrath ; but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord ; "
remembering that they who bequeath to
their children the results of a thorough
Christian education endow them with
riches more valuable and enduring than
silver and gold.

VIII.

INTELLECTUAL COLTURE.

" 'Tis education forms the common mind :
Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined.

nnilOSE parents make a grave mistake
who rely solely upon the public
school for the mental training of their
children. This discipline should begin
early at home, and under the most care
ful supervision. As soon as the child
opens his eyes and puts forth his little
hands, as soon as his senses come in
contact with the material world, the
mind begins to drink in knowledge, and
expand by means of its own activity.
The foundations of the man's education
are laid mainly in the home of his child-

115

116 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

hood, and before he has reached the
proper school-age. Faithful early home-
training is, therefore, of the utmost im
portance.

" Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined."

Neglect or improper instruction in
childhood may result in waste and fail
ure in riper years. The "twig" must
be properly "bent," that the tree may be
developed in symmetrical and stately pro
portions. The growth of the tree results
from its own vitality ; but the shape and
direction of its trunk and limbs depend
upon its trimming and training. So also
in education. Self-culture is the only
means of sound mental development ;
but this must be inspired, directed, and
controlled, during childhood, by parental
fidelity and wisdom.

And first of all, and mainly, home-
training should consist in the discipline
of the observing faculties. Books are

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 117

little needed at this period, except so far
as they may aid in directing attention
to the real objects by which the child is
surrounded, and in explaining their quali
ties and uses. The mind of the child
opens upon a world of objects, and his
education must impart mainly object-les
sons.

A thirst for knowledge is inherent in
every human mind, and is early mani
fested. The child observes, and soon
learns to distinguish his friends and bene
factors from strangers. He watches with
intense interest every motion that comes
within range of his vision; he grasps
every solid object placed within his
reach, — the watch, the pencil, the knife,
the toy, — and bears it to his mouth, seem
ingly to make more sure the knowledge
of its peculiar properties by the aid of
two senses at once ; and, as soon as this
child has gained the power of locomo-

118 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

tion, he goes in search of objects to the
extreme limit of his little dominion.
When the power of speech is gained, he
hastens to call every thing by its proper
name, and to ask endless questions as to
its nature and utility.

Here, then, is the parent's opportunity
to commence the work of education.
First, it is the instructor's duty to remove
from reach and sight, as far as possible,
all objects which the child may not han
dle ; secondly, to select such toys for the
child's use as are proper and the most
interesting; and, finally, to be ready to
answer all inquiries, and to impart such
instruction as each subject will admit.
Another important thought in this con
nection, — the child should have the ear
nest sympathy of the parent in all his
efforts to gratify curiosity and gain
knowledge, in all his sports and games.
The parent should give attention when

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 119

the child, delighted, holds up his new
found treasure: he should smile upon
his expressed enthusiasm, and encourage
his search for truth. Kind looks and
gentle words have a magic power over
the mind of childhood under such cir
cumstances.

Among the first practical lessons to be
imparted in the examination of the objects
which occupy the attention of the child
are the names, parts, qualities, and uses
of these objects. For illustration, take
the object dinner '-bell, with which every
child is familiar. What are its parts?
It has a handle, tongue, and chain. What
are its qualities ? It is hard, smooth, and
sonorous. What are its acts ? It rings,
strikes, and sounds. What are its uses ?
It calls to dinner. A sheet of paper is
another object. Its parts? It has ends,
edges, surface, and lines. Its qualities?
It is smooth, limber, and pliable. Its

120 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

uses? To write and print upon, and
make books.

Next we may call attention to the idea
of number, form, size, color, and weight.
For example, take the object cat. The
number ? one. Its size ? large. Its form ?
that of a quadruped. Its color? black.
Its weight? ten pounds. Its qualities?
it is hairy, smooth, playful, cunning. Its
use ? it is good to catch mice. Again :
let ~boy be the object. The number?
many. Form ? like a man. Size ? small.
Color ? white. Weight ? thirty pounds.

The idea of size, measurement, and
weight, is determined by comparison
with a unit of measure ; and accuracy in
measuring with the eye is acquired only
by practice. Then give the child a
measure, and teach him its use; drill
him, at every opportunity, to judge of the
bulk and distance of objects around him ;
the size and weight of a stone ; the length,

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 121

breadth, and height of the table, the bu
reau, or the room itself; accustom him
to distinguish the colors of the different
objects that meet his eye, and the various
sounds that greet his ear.

Parents may next open to their children
the book of Nature, and trace with them
its ample pages. What a fruitful field for
mental culture and refinement is here
spread out before them ! — the heavens
above, with their rolling planets and shin
ing stars ; the dew that collects upon the
grass; the gently-falling rain that dis
tils from the clouds; the frost, ice, and
snow which appear in their season ; the
storm which gathers among the moun
tains, roaring and flashing with terrific
thunder and forked lightnings, and pour
ing itself in deluging torrents upon the
valleys below ; the ever-changing seasons,
which give u seed- time and harvest," and
come freighted each with its own pleas-
11

122 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ures and blessings. What objects and
themes for youthful contemplation ! What
sources of instruction, if the inquiring
mind of childhood is properly directed !

The child in the flower-garden may
take numberless lessons in discriminating
colors and odors, and in learning the
names and characteristics of the different
flowers that adorn the landscape and de
light the senses. He may cultivate a
taste for the beautiful in Nature, and a
fondness for that rich science which opens
at this point into the wide world of vege
table creation. The child in the culti
vated field should learn to distinguish
between the different grasses and grains.
Each kind has its own peculiar stalk and
leaf, and blossom and seed. The clover-
field differs from the herds-grass ; the
wheat, from the barley, oat, and rye-
field ; and, after the harvest, the kernels
all differ from each other. Now, how

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 123

many in the schools are put upon the
study of the higher English classics and
ornamental branches who are profoundly
ignorant of the most common and useful
facts by which their childhood was sur
rounded! And yet all these facts might
have been known perfectly, and much
profitable discipline secured, had the par
ents done their duty, and early called
their attention to the object-lessons of
Nature in the garden and in the field.

The child in the orchard and in the
wood should be taught early to name, at
sight, the apple, pear, peach, and plum
trees; the beach, birch, and maple, with
their various species ; and the evergreens,
which defy the chilling blasts and icy
grapple of winter. He 'should know them
by the color of their bark, and shape of
their leaves, and the taste of their fruit ;
and he should understand their compara
tive utility for the purposes of food, fruit,

124 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

and lumber. A knowledge of such facts
would lead the young pupil to inquire
into the philosophy of the vegetable
world ; to study the relations of the plant
and the tree to the elements which sur
round them ; and, finally, to investigate
the process by which plants grow under
the influence of heat, light, and moisture.
Still further : the child on the farm,
among the minerals, may be profitably
employed in learning the nature of the
soil, and the names of the different rocks
and metals with which he is familiar.
The different soils, and their adaptation
to the different crops which the farmer
expects them to yield; the manner of
enriching and cultivating them ; the
times and seasons for casting the seed,
nursing the plants, and gathering the har
vest, — are facts every boy should under
stand; and the girl, the corresponding
facts in her own domestic department.

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 125

The difference between the common
metals, — iron, lead, copper, silver, and
gold, — their uses and comparative values,
and the localities from which they are ob
tained ; why gold is more valuable than
silver, and silver than copper, and copper
than lead, when used as coin ; and why
iron is the most valuable of all metals
when used in the arts, — are facts which
every child can and should understand,
even while in the home school of Nature.
A knowledge of these facts will lead to
the science of agriculture, housekeeping,
mineralogy, geology, and lay the founda
tion for a successful business-life.

And, finally, the child may be intro
duced to the animal world. Domestic
animals first attract his attention. They
become his companions and his delight.
The dog, the cat, the cow, the horse,
are watched and trained and enjoyed in
the pastime of every-day life. The first
n»

126 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

business of the parent is, therefore, to
teach the child the distinctive nature
and habits of these animals. This in
struction will tend to awaken a new in
terest in the whole subject of animal
existence, and will lead the young
learner to study the history of the wild
animals that roam our forests and oc
cupy other countries. From a knowl
edge of the domestic fowls that afford
the child so much pleasure, he learns to
listen with delight to the songs of the
birds which frequent the groves about
his dwelling, and to study with interest
their varying forms, colors, notes, habits,
and history ; and ere long, under proper
encouragement, he is ready to search the
whole field of natural history for new
objects of interest.

And home instruction in the animal
kingdom finds an endless variety of
objects in the department of * insects.

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 127

They fill the air we breathe, the water
we drink, and every foot of soil upon
which we tread. In species they are
countless, in variety almost infinite.
Now, the child is familiar with many of
these short-lived but evidently happy
little creatures. Give him a microscope,
and teach him to study with care their
habits and history.

The water also teems with its own
inhabitants : the finny tribes and the
shell-fish are all objects of great interest
and profit for home lessons and instruc
tion.

Home geography affords another ap
propriate subject for home mental cul
ture. Children should have their atten
tion directed early to the prominent facts
on this important subject. First, they
may be taught the points of compass,
- east, west, north, and south. These
will be more easily and correctly fixed in

128 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

the mind by observing the position and
direction of the sun. Let the child
take a stand-point facing that luminary
at the time of its rising. The sun is
now in the east ; and the opposite point
is due west. Now let him stretch out
his arms, and point his fingers, and his
left hand will point to the north, and his
right hand to the south. This practical
lesson, learned from observation, should
now be applied to directions of different
objects in the room and in the field.
The sides of the room — which is east,
west, north, and south? What direc
tion is the stove from the opposite win
dow, and the window from the stove ?
What is the direction of the church, the
schoolhouse, and the store, from the
house? Does the street run north and
south ? or east and west ? Which way
does the brook or river run ? and which
way do the clouds move ?

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 129

Next the attention of the child may be
directed to "a description of the earth; "
that is, the door-yard with which he is
familiar ; the field, the pasture, and the
wood, over which he roams. He should
be taught to observe the hills and the
vales, the rocks and the trees and the
streams, and be required to describe
them in his childish way. He should
" bound " the yard, the field, and the
farm, carefully observing the points of
compass and the portions of land, or
neighboring farms adjoining. And, with
the points of compass, he should be
taught distances and measurements; the
number of rods in the garden-fence, and
to a neighbor's house; the number of
miles to the next village ; the number of
acres in the cornfield and meadow. Such
instruction lays the foundation for that
thorough and practical knowledge which
enabled Columbus to discover a continent,

130 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

and which is important in every depart
ment of life.

The observing faculties are early exer
cised also in numbering the different
objects which come in childhood's way ;
and this is practical arithmetic. Count
ing the fingers was the origin of the
Arabic and Roman methods of notation,
the reason of the increase from right to
left by tens, and of the ten characters
which we have to represent numbers.
Hence the word digits, the name (from
digiti) given to the figures ; which lit
erally means fingers.

Let children be put to counting their
fingers, their blocks, their marbles, the
doors and windows with their panes of
glass, and the sets of household articles.
Let them count the flocks and herds, the
stones and trees, and all the objects of
Nature which can attract their attention.
Let them count the stars, "which no man

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 131

can number." They should also be re
quired to exercise their memory by re
calling the things they have counted ; to
exercise their judgment by considering
comparative bulk in relation to numbers :
and, to make this home instruction prac
tical, let counting, adding, and sub
tracting be applied to the business
transactions of the farm, the workshop,
and the store.

By the proper discipline of the observ
ing faculties in childhood, two desirable
objects will be accomplished, which can
not fail to have an important bearing
upon the success and welfare of the man
and woman in after-life. First, a taste
will be cultivated, and a foundation laid,
for accurate and successful study in the
different departments of science, litera
ture, and language. This home school is
necessary to fit the child for the different
grades of instruction which he will re-

132 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ceive in the public school, academy, and
college.

The second object to be secured by
training the eye and ear to accurate see
ing and hearing is the habit of knowing
and telling the truth. Careless observa
tion must result in imperfect knowledge
and false representation. Misapprehen
sions, and misstatements of facts, are,
to-day, prevailing evils in every neigh
borhood and in every grade of society in
our land. The gossip of the "tea-party"
and the gossip of the newspaper con
tinue to disturb the peace of every
community by manufacturing strife and
stirring up scandal. History and litera
ture are full of misreprentations, and the
whole nation is groaning under a burden
of lies. And who can fail to see that
one fruitful source of these evils may be
found in the neglect of early training, as
above specified ?

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 133

A practical question here arises : How
shall the habit of accurate observation
be formed in childhood? I answer
briefly : Encourage the child to observe,
with fixed attention, every thing and
every occurrence that meets his senses.
Then, as a test of this accuracy, require
a description of what has been seen or
heard. For instance : The mother is about
to spread the table, and furnish it for a
tea-party. She requires her little girl to
sit down and watch every movement
until her work is accomplished ; and then
she will be expected to give a full ac
count of every step in the process, in its
order and in full, even to the number of
the plates, cups and saucers, knives and
forks and spoons, which have been used.
Or this mother wishes to send her boy on
an errand. She gives him the message ;
but, before allowing him to start, she re
quires him to repeat her order again
12

134 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

and again, until he has fixed every par
ticular in his mind. Had the father who
sent his son to a neighbor's house, to bor
row a flour-barrel for the purpose of con
fining his puppy, taken this course, he
would not have been mortified by learn
ing the next day that his boy asked the
neighbor for "an empty barrel of flour
to make a dog a hen-coop."

Direct the attention of the child to the
phenomena of Nature; train him to ob
serve accurately the time as indicated by
the watch, the clock, and especially the
sun, so that he may know the hours, as
they pass, by observation, and acquire the
habits of promptness and industry ; teach
him the importance of u order," which is
u heaven's first law ; " and do not forget
that a correct judgment cannot be formed
without a full knowledge of the facts and
principles, and processes of reasoning,
which have a bearing upon the subject,

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 135

and that these can be gained only by
accurate observation and study.

But intellectual culture at home
should not partake of the form and ne
cessary strictness of school discipline.
This would defeat the very object in
view. Children will not bear such con
finement ; and would, by formal and con
stant requirements, acquire a distaste for
the instruction to be imparted. Home-
lessons should be made agreeable and
attractive: and, to this end, they should
be made, in a measure, optional ; to be
sought rather than enforced. By skil
ful management on the part of parents,
the curiosity and interest of children may
be excited, and all the desirable results
secured, on the voluntary principle.

The conversation of the breakfast-
table, at dinner, and at tea, should be
conducted with a view to secure the
improvement of our children. Little

136 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ears are always open to listen, and little
minds always active to digest ideas upon
interesting topics so presented. The
taste is thus cultivated, the intellect ex
panded, and directed into the right chan
nels of thought.

Another suggestion in this connection :
When practicable, the parent should take
his child with him on short excursions,
and even on a journey. Nothing is bet
ter calculated to open and expand the
mind than the constantly- varying scenery
and circumstances which such excursions
afford.

But caution should always be exer
cised lest parents should over-train and
over-task their young children. The
laws of physical as well as mental
development demand that home life
should be comparatively free and active ;
and yet, under wise and judicious man
agement, it may be the season for great

INTELLECTUAL CULTURE. 137

improvement, and for laying the founda
tion of a thorough, practical education,
such as will develop true manhood and
womanhood.

12*

IX.

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.

school is an expansion of the
family. Children from different
homes are brought together, and commit
ted to the care and instruction of teach
ers employed for this purpose. These
teachers occupy the place of parents;
receive from them delegated authority
and power ; and assume their duties for
the purpose of carrying forward and
completing the important work of edu
cation. This work, as we have seen,
does not begin with the school ; nor is
it confined to the study of books. It
begins with infancy, under the influence
of the mother's smiles and tears - and

138

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 139

anxious care ; it progresses through
childhood, in the midst of toys, and a
world of objects which address themselves
to the senses, and interest the mind,
of the little stranger. These are the
most important periods of life, as the
child now receives the most durable im
pressions, and forms the most lasting
habits. But the time at length comes
when parental inability, or absorbing
home cares and toils, forbid proper at
tention to the child's higher education.
Assistance must be secured. The school
becomes a necessity ; but by no means,
and at no time, should our children be
committed entirely to the care of others.
It is an hour of special peril, when
without experience, or practical knowl
edge of the world, they are sent out to
mingle with new associates, to form new
relations, and to come under new con
trol. There is need, therefore, of

140 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

greater parental vigilance and fidelity
than ever before. No greater mistake
can be made than to suppose that the
discipline of the family may be confined
to the home, and that parental responsi
bility ceases when public instruction be
gins. This discipline and watchfulness
and special care should extend over the
whole period of minority.

I come now, therefore, to consider the
practical questions which have a bearing
upon the relations of parents to the
schools in which their children are edu
cated.

AT WHAT AGE

should children be sent to the public
school ? From four to eighteen is the
ordinary legal school-age. Some foolish
mothers send their children to school
even earlier than the law suggests, to
get them out of the way. They have the
"babies" still at home to be cared for,

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 141

but do not realize that the teacher, with
twenty, thirty, or forty pupils to govern
and instruct, has no time to give attention
to their restless children who are too
young to be instructed at the school.

But they ought to know that the school
room is no place for so young children.
Such an imprisonment, with nothing to
do, is an absolute wrong and injury to
the little prisoners. They have commit
ted no crime; and they need and have a
right to claim the freedom of home, with
their toys and pets and sports. The
activity which such freedom alone can
secure is absolutely necessary for healthy
physical development. Besides, the ob
ject -teaching and self -culture of the
home-school are far better for the child
than the false system of primary instruc
tion adopted in most of our public
schools.

Another thought in this connection:

142 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

When sent to school too early, and im
properly taught, the child becomes dis
gusted with school-life, and receives an
irreparable injury, affecting his progress
and improvement in later years. If he
enters at the right age, and is taught in
the proper way, he will learn to love his
school, and will acquire a taste for books
and study. He must not, therefore, be
sent too early. But at what age should
he enter the public school? I answer,
Better at twelve than three years old,
better at eight than five, and never young
er than six ; and, if the school which he
must attend is decidedly poor, he should
be delayed still longer.

I have urged the importance of correct
primary instruction at home, and have
here alluded to the importance of adopt
ing the same system in the school. This
is Nature's method, — the object first, and
then the sign, which may be either a pie-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 143

ture or a word' and, in either case, it
should be seen and recognized by its
looks. By this method, children are
taught to read words and sentences be
fore they know the letters of • the alpha
bet, just as they have, at home, learned
to distinguish different objects by sight
and by name without stopping to analyze
or explain. The analysis will come natu
rally afterwards, and the instruction so
given will be much more interesting and
profitable.

Parents as well as teachers should un
derstand that the old system of instruc
tion in primary schools is unnatural and
unwise ; and they should always give the
preference, in employing instructors, to
those who have been trained in modern
methods.

Indeed, all parents should be so well
informed as to the best methods of school
government and instruction as to be

144 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

qualified to exercise an intelligent super
vision over the training of their children.
Intelligence in school-matters is a neces
sary qualification to enable parents to
appreciate, a good school and a good
teacher, to adopt the best system, to pro
vide a suitable outfit, and to secure a wise
administration of educational affairs.

Another practical question to consider,
in preparing the public school for their
children, is, What

SYSTEM OF ORGANIZATION

shall be adopted?

Except in the cities, the district system
has generally prevailed in this country.
Every one who has given the matter any
attention is aware of the disadvantages
of this system; and many earnest efforts
have been made to remove the evil by
a change to what is termed the town
system.

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 145

In some States, the town system has
been established by law ; in others, en
abling acts have been passed allowing the
towns to abolish the district, and establish
the town system.

The advantages of the town over the
district system may here be considered.

1. Under town supervision, the schools
would all be of the same length, giving the
children in every family an equal amount
of instruction : under district supervis
ion, the length of the different schools
varies from twelve to thirty-six weeks
during the year. And as all parents are
taxed equally, according to their ability,
to support the public schools, and as
every man is interested in the education
of every other man's children, all should
enjoy equal school advantages.

2. Under town supervision, just so
many schools would be established as are
needed, and no more. Under the district

13

146 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

system, the number of schools is deter
mined by old district lines, without regard
to the number of pupils to be provided
for. The result is, some of these schools
are crowded much beyond the capacity
of the buildings to accommodate, and
others are so small that the advantages
of classification and class emulation are
entirely lost. And other evils result
indirectly from the same cause. The
small schools are likely to employ teach
ers of a lower grade ; to have a more
stingy outfit, and a less careful super
vision.

3. Under the town system, the aggre
gate expenses of common schools would
be much diminished. As at present man
aged, much money is wasted in building
schoolhouses, employing teachers, and
in running the schools. I have in mind
an instance which will illustrate. There
were in the town of L. five schools, in all

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 147

of which there were only thirty-six
pupils. In one other school, in the same
town, there was the same number. Now,
the one school was not too large to be
profitable : indeed, it could be managed
to much better advantage by a single
teacher than the small school of seven
pupils. This large school was in session
twenty-nine weeks during the year under
review, at an expense of $260. The
five small schools, running the same num
ber of weeks, with less efficient manage
ment and less satisfactory results, cost
$2,430. This gives us the practical
solution in figures which "do not lie."
In the large school, the whole expense
of twenty-nine weeks7 schooling was
$7.22 for each pupil: in the small
schools for the same time, the actual
expense, as estimated in the town report,
was $67.50 per scholar. This estimate
does not include the interest on the

148 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

additional amount of school property
invested in the five districts compared
with the one.

4. Under town supervision, more skil
ful teachers can be employed, and better
furnished schoolhouses provided, and
hence much more profitable schools
secured. We cannot expect that a dis
trict of only two or three families having
children to educate will be willing to
incur the expense of building a new
schoolhouse, and paying high salaries to
their teachers.

But, under the town system, all the
children in town would be provided for
equally, and those in the rural districts
would enjoy equal advantages with those
in the large villages. This would be
an important point gained, and would
result in establishing good schools in the
place of poor ones throughout the town
and state.

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 149

5. The crowning advantage resulting
from town supervision would be the
establishment of a graded school of high
order in the centre of the town, which
would be accessible to all. This school
would have three departments, — the
primary, the intermediate, and the aca
demic, — and would afford excellent facili
ties for every grade of pupils fitting for
business and for college. Such a town
system of public schools would supplant
the common mixed academies, leaving
only a few classical schools of high order,
and the higher seminaries and colleges,
where the graduates of the graded town-
schools could finish their education.

6. More complete supervision of the
schools would be secured under the town
system. The town board of education
would naturally be composed of culti
vated and efficient men, and would act in
concert for the common good of all.

13*

150 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

They would not only examine, but
employ, the teachers; and hence would
be able to secure those who are the best
qualified and adapted to the different
grades of the several schools.

These are some of the many advan
tages which would result from abolishing
the district and establishing the town
system. The utility of the change has
been demonstrated both in town and
state where the experiment has been
tried. That will be a fortunate day for
the cause of education when this true
system of public instruction shall have
been everywhere established; and it is
the first duty of parents to demand and
secure the school system here recom
mended.

The importance of the

GBADED SYSTEM OF SCHOOLS,

wherever such a classification can be

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 151

effected, justifies a special plea in its be
half. u A graded school," says Wells, uis
a school in which the pupils are divided
into classes according to their attainments,
and in which all the pupils of each class
attend to the same branches of study at
the same time."

The special utility and desirableness of
this system will occur to every intelligent
mind. Let us examine it.

In a thoroughly graded school, perfect
classification can be effected. Pupils of
the same age, having a common interest
and mutual sympathy, are brought to
gether. The influence of class pride and
emulation is brought to bear upon them.
With fewer classes, more time is given for
class-recitation and personal drill, and a
more complete supervision of the school
is secured.

Under this system, school trustees can
select teachers adapted and fitted for

152 THE PARENTS' MANUAL,

their own special departments, and can
employ them permanently ; can provide
a uniformity of text -books, and secure
more punctuality and regularity of at
tendance.

None of these advantages can be real
ized in the mixed, unclassified school;
and still this is the condition of a large
majority of the public schools in every
State in the Union.

These schools are thoroughly mixed:
all children of school-age — "from four
to eighteen" — are huddled together.
They are provided with text-books of
every kind, and upon every subject ; and
the teacher is expected to govern and
instruct this heterogeneous assemblage in
the most approved manner.

But how can she do this? There can
be no system or order in such a school.
Every thing is at the mercy of circum
stances. There are at least three schools

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 153

(in one) to be managed and taught, — •
the primary, the intermediate, and the
academic ; and still there is only one day
at a time to be devoted to them all. The
teacher must keep order, adapting her
discipline to the child of four years, and
to the man or woman of eighteen. A
little world, with all the diversities of
age and disposition, is under her admin
istration ; and for their improvement and
culture she is held responsible. From
twenty to thirty important recitations
must be conducted daily, and at such
times as chance may dictate. What can
even a good teacher accomplish under
such circumstances? What right have
parents to expect satisfactory results from
schools so organized ?

The graded system secures such a
division of labor as will obviate all theso
difficulties, and enable the teacher to
bring order out of confusion, and light
out of darkness.

154 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

Every one understands the importance
of this principle as applied to the de
partments of industry in practical life.
Division of labor is indispensable to suc
cess in the arts, as taught in political
economy.

To illustrate, I will refer to some ex
amples.

In the manufacture of pins, ten men
are actually employed for the purpose
of securing the benefits of classification
of the different kinds of labor.

One man draws out the wire ; another
straightens it ; a third cuts it ; the fourth
sharpens the point ; the fifth grinds it at
the top for receiving the head ; and the
other five men are employed in making
the different parts of the head, and finish
ing the whole. Now, why not require
each one of these ten men to make his
share of the pins, independent of his fel
lows? I answer, No one could acquire the

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 155

necessary skill and adaptation to every
part of the work : much time would
be wasted in passing from one point
to another, and hence comparatively
little would be accomplished. It is stated
upon good authority that these same ten
men, who, with the proper division of
labor, make forty-eight thousand pins per
day, could make only two hundred in the
same time if each was required to per
form every part of the work.

And, in the process of making a watch,
we are told that there are one hundred
and two distinct branches, which may
employ as many different apprentices.
Each one of these departments consti
tutes a separate trade; and the watch-
finisher is the only man of the whole
who knows how to make a watch in all
its parts.

This same principle is applied to the
mechanic arts generally. In all our fac-

156 THE PARENTS9 MANUAL.

tories, each operative has his own special
department, and confines himself to the
work assigned. The result is, much
more efficiency and skill, and hence
more productiveness of labor.

And what I here maintain is, that this
division of labor should be applied to
the management and instruction of our
schools.

First, secure as perfect a classification
of the pupils in the district as may be,
according to their age and attainments ;
second, assign to each department a
teacher who has been thoroughly trained,
and is adapted especially to the posi
tion to be occupied and the work to be
done; and, thirdly, furnish that teacher
with the necessary books and apparatus,
— tools to work with, — and the pro
cess of education will be successfully
carried on.

Having settled the system of school-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 157

organization to be adopted, parents
should proceed to make careful and
thorough preparation for the school.

SCHOOL-SITES AND SCHOOLHOUSES

demand their first attention. The loca
tion of the schoolhouse is a matter of
vital importance. Too often do we find
it situated in some dark alley, or on some
noisy street, on low and marshy ground,
or upon the barren rock where no shade-
trees can grow, or upon the dusty corner
where four roads meet. In such local
ities children are disturbed by noises,
suffer from excessive heat and cold, or
from dampness, insufficient light, and
bad air; and are robbed of all the ad
vantages and pleasures of pleasant sur
roundings and tasteful arrangements of
well-ordered playgrounds.

Other things being equal, the school-
house should have a central location, for

14

158 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

convenience of access. But this is not
the most important consideration. The
character of the grounds and surround
ings should weigh against a few rods of
additional distance for the children to
travel. The school-yard should be se
lected, laid out, and graded, with a view
to furnish the children pleasant and at
tractive play-grounds. This is as im
portant for the purposes of education
as a well-constructed and well-furnished
schoolroom. This yard should contain,
at least, a half-acre of level or sloping
ground, and should be ornamented with
shade-trees, and furnished with swings,
ball-bats, foot-balls, and other induce
ments to healthful exercise.

In selecting the site, special regard
should be had to the surroundings.
Noisy mills, factories, and work-shops, in
the immediate vicinity of the school-
house, are a serious hinderance to sue-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 159

cessful study. Stores, railroad-stations,
and taverns are liable to consume the
time, vitiate the taste, and corrupt the
morals, of pupils who are allowed to re
sort to them. Hence the schoolhouse
should, if possible, be removed from
all such local disadvantages; and, for
the sake of health, equal care should be
taken to avoid stables, sewers, marshes,
stagnant bodies of water, and low and
damp situations where heavy fogs linger
long after sunrise, and chill night-dews
gather before sunset.

And the school-site should be a beau
tiful location, where Nature has displayed
her romantic wildness and quiet grandeur.
Children are taught unconsciously by
the objects that surround them; and
hence the place where they are gath
ered for the study of books should also
afford opportunity for them to study the
book of Nature. They should be able

160 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

to gaze upon the towering mountain, the
peaceful valley, the shaded forest, and
the cultivated field ; and to listen to the
music of running brooks, and the songs
of the birds that frequent the shade- trees
under which they play.

The pleasantness and attractiveness of
the location and surroundings of the
schoolroom serve to make school-life
pleasant, and to cultivate a taste for the
beautiful in nature and art, — both ex
tremely desirable as means to the end in
view.

Schoolhouses should not only be prop
erly located, but constructed with great
care. Under the town system 'which has
been here recommended, the town school
board would have all these matters in
hand ; and they should see to it that
the site is well chosen, and that each
house is adapted, in size and finish, to
the number and grade of the pupils
to be accommodated.

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 161

The room for the primary department
will need different internal arrangements
from the intermediate, and the interme
diate from the academic. The benches
must be of suitable height to enable each
pupil to rest his feet upon the floor, and
so inclined as to allow a natural and easy
posture; the desks must be constructed
to suit the size and convenience of their
occupants; and all schoolhouses should
have rooms especially for hats, bonnets,
shawls, overcoats, umbrellas, dinner-bas
kets, &c., that the children may acquire
the habits of neatness and order, and
learn to take care of whatever is intrusted
to them.

Recitation-rooms should be furnished
with blackboards and brushes, and an
ample supply of apparatus suited to the
character of the school : if a primary
school, apparatus especially suited to
illustrate object- teaching.

14*

162 TEE PARENTS' MANUAL.

Lighting and heating the schoolhouse
is of the first importance. Light is ne
cessary to health ; and a good supply of
pure sunlight, controlled by shutters and
curtains, is needed, not only for healthful
study, but also to render the schoolroom
more cheerful and inviting. The com
mon mode of heating schoolrooms is very
objectionable, — much more so than the
old method by the open fireplace. The
tight box-stove, without the means of
evaporating water, in a room not suited
to the purposes of ventilation, is the
worst and most dangerous arrangement
that could be invented. It creates an
uneven temperature, deadens the air, and
fills it with smoke, rendering it wholly
unsuitable for the purposes of life. It is
believed that more cases of fatal disease
are contracted in the unventilated and im
properly-heated schoolrooms of the pres
ent day than anywhere else ; and -it be-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 163

comes a matter of great importance to
all parents, who seek to prepare their
children for a long and useful life, to un
derstand this subject, and to provide
against the evils contemplated.
The subject of

SCHOOLHOUSE VENTILATION

is so important to the welfare of the chil
dren in our schools, that I may properly
dwell upon it for a few moments. No
fact is more evident, even to common
observation, than that pure air is indis
pensable to health ; and yet there are but
comparatively few schoolhouses in any
community in which pure air can be
breathed for three hours during a win
ter's day.

Modern methods of heating school
rooms, already alluded to, have added
much to the evils resulting from almost
universal neglect in the matter of ven-

164 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

tilation. The facts before us are alarm
ing.

We may give our children the hard
fare at home which were the common
rations of other days, we may provide for
them the hard benches and uncomforta
ble arrangements of old-fashioned school-
houses, if we will give them also the fresh
air therein provided by loose windows
and spacious open fireplaces. But we
cannot, without guilt, shut them up for
six hours each day in a small, tight room
warmed by a close box-stove. Such an
atmosphere poisons the blood, drains the
vitality, and lays the foundation of a hun
dred forms of sickness and suffering.
Without pure air, the circulation of the
blood, instead of a current of life, be
comes a current of death, diffusing itself
through a million of channels into every
part of the system. Would parents buy
a solution of arsenic at the druggist's,

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 165

and inject it into the veins of their chil
dren ? This would prove no more fatal
than to inhale the poison of bad air which
they are compelled to breathe in most
of our schoolhouses, day after day, and
week after week. The only difference
is, one is a rapid and the other is a slow
process of poisoning.

When the schoolroom is first opened,
the air is comparatively pure : but, in a
short time, the fifty pairs of lungs have
consumed nearly all the oxygen ; and the
vicious compound that remains stupefies
the intellect, and, by slow degrees, saps
the very life-blood. These statements
are not theory, but facts ; the evils result
ing are not imaginary, but real, as illus
trated in the history of a large majority
of the public schools in our country.

But how can this evil be removed ? I
answer, Only by making special provision
for the circulation of fresh air in every

166 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

schoolroom. Perfect ventilation cannot
be secured except by scientific arrange
ments in connection with heating the
apartments. The circulation of the at
mosphere is effected through the agency
of heat; and when the building is so
finished as to admit a constant supply of
fresh air from without, and to eject that
which is impure, through ventilators
prepared near the top and bottom of the
upright ceiling, heat becomes the con
trolling power to keep the current in
circulation. In the absence of any spe
cial arrangements of this kind, resort must
be had to open doors and windows.
These, used skilfully by parties who
understand the laws of health and life,
will, in a measure, secure the object in
view. Yet there is danger in trusting a
matter of such vital importance to ar
rangements so imperfect, and circum
stances so variable.

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 167

I wish here to call special attention
to another point which has been alluded
to in this connection ; viz., the importance

of

SCHOOL-APPARATUS

to enable the teacher to work success
fully.

Apparatus is designed to illustrate and
enforce the principles of science ; and its
great utility is seen in the well-estab
lished fact, that instruction communicated
through the sense of sight is much better
understood, and much longer remem
bered. The child sees the representation
of number on his " numeral frame; " he
sees the shape of the earth in the arti
ficial globe, and is able to trace out the
ranges of mountains, the courses of
rivers, and the figure of continents,
upon the outline-maps which hang before
him; and he understands the definition
of a cube in distinction from a square

168 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

surface when he sees and handles the
block which bears that name.

Every schoolroom should have a
black-board as long as the unoccupied
space between the windows on every
side. This will enable the teacher to
represent to the eye many objects and
subjects which would otherwise be
either lost or imperfectly understood by
the pupils ; and will enable them to solve
the problems in the presence of the
class and teacher, greatly to their benefit.

No schoolroom is perfectly furnished
which has not in it a thermometer, to
enable the teacher to regulate the tem
perature ; and an unabridged diction
ary of the English language is indis
pensable, to be consulted daily and
hourly by the whole school as they
prosecute their studies.

Thorough instruction cannot be given
without these helps; and the more ad-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 169

vanced departments should be provided
with a cabinet, library and philosophical
apparatus, more or less extensive as cir
cumstances require.

Having settled the system of school-
organization to be adopted, and having
provided a suitable schoolhouse favorably
located and well furnished, the next
important duty to be performed by
parents is to select and employ a

HIGHLY COMPETED TEACHEB.

Under the district-system, this duty
devolves upon the school-trustees select
ed for that purpose. Under the town-
system, which I have earnestly commend
ed, it belongs to a committee of the town-
board of education. In either case, it is
a question of vital importance who are
to be intrusted with the management and
instruction of our schools.

The education of the young prince or

15

170 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

princess, in royal governments, is regard
ed as an important matter, affecting, as it
must, the welfare of nations. The selec
tion of a tutor for such an heir to the
throne always excites a deep interest and
solicitude throughout the kingdom or
empire. But we are a nation of sover
eigns j and our children, princes of a future
generation. Great care should, therefore,
be exercised in the selection of teachers
for every grade of schools.
And what are some of the

NECESSARY QUALIFICATIONS

of the good teacher ? This is a practical
question, and one which it seems proper
to answer in this connection. In the
past, too little attention has been given
to this subject. The writer well remem
bers the time when no examinations were
required of candidates for teachers of our
common schools : and, in many cases, the

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 171

only questions raised by the school-officer
as to the fitness of the applicant for the
important office, were, first, Is he physi
cally strong and courageous ? second,
Will he work cheap ? third, Will he con
sent to u board round " ?

These questions settled affirmatively,
the candidate was sure to be employed.
False opinions then very generally pre
vailed. It was believed that good school-
government could be maintained only by
physical force; and that anybody who
could read, write, and cipher, and u wield
the birch," could keep school. And
another serious error was and is enter
tained; viz., that a backward school does
not need a well-qualified teacher : while
the fact is, such a school demands all the
more attention because it is backward.
From such erroneous views has arisen
much of the indifference manifested by
parents as to the qualifications of their

172 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

teachers. Still it is a vital question ; and
I wish to direct to it, especially, the
attention of my readers.

PHYSICAL VIGOB.

Let me say, then, to the school-commit
tees intrusted with the important duty
of selecting teachers for their public
schools, Inquire, first of all, for physical
vigor (not flogging-power, but JieaUJi)
in your candidate. No employment
taxes more severely the vital energies, or
demands more vigorous health, than the
successful management and instruction
of a school. The teacher's is a confined
life. He has but few leisure days or
hours, and but short vacations, that he
can call his own. During six hours
every day, for at least five days in a
week, he is shut up between four walls,
and often in a badly- ventilated and uncom
fortable room ; and has but little oppor-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 173

tunity for the necessary exercise and
recreation.

His is also a laborious life. If faith
ful to his charge, his labors are in
cessant. He must govern and teach,
and teach and govern, and sometimes
under the most discouraging circum
stances. Out of school, his hours are
devoted to a preparation for his work, —
reading, studying, thinking, planning, for
the improvement and welfare of his
pupils.

Again : the teacher's life is full of care
and anxiety. He is laden with responsi
bility which he cannot shift if he would.
Not only do his confinement and unremit
ting toil tax his strength, and wear upon
his constitution, but his perplexing cares
and anxious watchings shock his nervous
system. Toilsome days and anxious
nights are a constant strain upon his very
life. To endure all this,, and sustain him-

15*

174 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

self under so severe a pressure, the
teacher must enjoy good health.

COMMON SENSE.

The second requisite qualification for a
good teacher is common sense. This may
seem to some to be superfluous ; but not
so. There is much more uncommon than
common sense among men ; and yet the
latter is indispensable to success in the
vocation of teaching. The teacher occu
pies a very important position. He is
thrown upon his own resources; must
act every day without aid or counsel
upon questions which have an important
bearing upon his success or failure. And
what shall guide him to the choice of the
best means to meet the emergency, and
to accomplish his object? He cannot
consult his professional books or his
more experienced and wise fellow-teach
ers ; but he must act without delay. And

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 175

what but his common sense can guide
him to a judicious course of action ? In
the management and government of his
school, and in all his intercourse with the
families of his patrons, he will meet a
thousand opportunities to exercise this
noble gift, this instinct of nature. Let
parents see to it, therefore, that their
teachers possess good common sense.

CHEEBFTJL AND HOPEFUL DISPOSITION.

Another of Nature's special gifts to the
successful teacher of children is a cheer
ful and hopeful disposition.

Some persons are constitutionally
gloomy and desponding. They always
look on the dark side of this bright
world; never see the "silver lining"
that gilds the dark cloud overhanging
them; and hence they wear upon their
countenance, and express in their words,
a funereal gloom that dispels all cheerful-

176 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ness, and shuts out the sunlight from the
heart. These men and women despair
of the future; anticipate no good for
themselves or for others ; and hence settle
down in gloomy despondency to brood
over their misfortunes. Now, it requires
no argument to show the undesirableness
of placing these desponders in the school
room.

"As the teacher is, so is the school."
The gloom and hopelessness which he
cherishes will be imparted to his pupils,
to suppress their cheerfulness, dampen
their enthusiasm, and discourage their
efforts. The expression of his counte
nance, the tones of his voice, and indeed
his very presence, cast a gloom over the
buoyant hearts of childhood and youth.

On the other hand, the cheerful and
hopeful teacher inspires his pupils with
his own spirit, and animates them by his
own living example. And children need

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 177

this inspiration and encouragement more
than instruction. Their improvement
while in school depends upon nothing so
much as the happy smile and cheerful
words of the hopeful and enthusiastic
teacher. This very hopefulness enables
the teacher to secure the best results of
his well-directed efforts. He has to deal
with dulness and stupidity ; and he sees
little or no improvement from day to day.
He is sometimes ready to give up in
despair ; but he remembers that the de
velopment of mind, like the growth of
the tree, is by slow and imperceptible
degrees. The sturdy oak that now defies
the storm and tempest is the product of
a hundred years ; and the intellect and
character which give manhood and
womanhood a proud pre-eminence in
positions of influence and usefulness
have often been unfolded by the patient
toil of the hopeful teacher under the

178 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

most trying difficulties. Let it not be
forgotten by parents, therefore, that
nothing can compensate for the want of
a cheerful and hopeful disposition in the
instructors of their children.

LOVE OF CHILDBED.

The love of children is still another
necessary natural qualification of the
teacher. Some possess it, and some do
not ; and when a candidate for the high
office of primary teacher especially pre
sents herself, who has not this fondness
for children in some degree at least, she
should be at once rejected on that
account.

This love of children qualifies the
teacher to be happy in their presence,
to be patient with their childishness, and
to sympathize with them in all their en
joyments and trials.

It is interesting to see how children

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 179

are drawn, as by magnetism, to the
teacher who loves them. They form her
acquaintance at sight; believe in her,
and cling to her as to their own mother
(whose place she occupies, and whose
responsibilities she has assumed) ; and of
course they are ready to obey her, and
profit by her example, precepts, and in
struction. This love of the teacher for
her pupils always inspires their love for
her in a corresponding degree. They
seek her society, and enjoy her presence ;
they follow her and cling to her as she
winds her way over the hill and through
the valley to and from the school ; they
welcome her to their homes, and enter
tain her by their smiles and childish
prattle; they invite her to mingle in
their sports; and she becomes a child
again while with children. It is not
strange, therefore, that mutual sympathy
is awakened, and mutual friendship ere-

180 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ated, such as will give the teacher un
bounded control over her pupils in the
management and discipline of her school.

LOVE FOE THE WORK.

Nearly allied to the love of children,
as a natural and necessary qualification
of the true teacher, is a love for the worJc.
Fondness for the society of the young
tends to make the business of teaching
agreeable ; but this is not all that is
necessary. Such other qualifications are
implied as create a taste for the details
of the teacher's work, and prepare him
to endure patiently the burdens and
vexations of school-life. He is patient
and persevering, industrious and faithful,
because he finds a positive pleasure in
the performance of each required duty.
He estimates the dignity and responsi
bility of the teacher's profession from a
higher standpoint, and cherishes a proud

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 18.1

satisfaction in the nobility of his position
and the important results of his labors.

APTNESS TO GOVERN AND TEACH.

Aptness to govern and to teacli is still
another natural gift to be sought in the
candidate for the teacher's office.

Aptness to govern is expressed in the
word authority, and implies ability to
direct and control others. It is inborn,
and manifests itself as a kind of instinct.
It is seen among children when assembled
to engage in their sports ; perhaps in

" Some village Hampden, that, with dauntless breast,
The little tyrant of his fields withstood."

Some one assumes the command,
and exercises his gift to rule. It is seen
among men. Whenever they organize
for any purpose,

" Some Cromwell, guiltless of his country's blood,"

becomes the leader, and exercises author-

16

182 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ity and control. In some families the
children are in complete subjection to
their parents, and yet no special effort
has ever been made to govern them.
The mother has authority, which is dis
covered in her eye, in the tones of her
voice, in her truthful words and un
changeable purposes. Under her man
agement the habit of obedience is soon
formed, and cheerful submission ren
dered.

In some schools (though these are
the exception, and not the rule) the
master has only to wave his hand, or
tap with his pencil upon the desk, to
restore perfect order. His very presence
is a ruling power, which his pupils are
inclined to recognize and obey. He has
authority, a natural aptness to govern.
Lack of discipline in the family and
school, which has become so fearful an
evil in our land, more often results from

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 183

a want of this native power than from
any other cause.

Aptness to teach is not always con
nected with aptness to govern, but is
equally desirable as a qualification for
the important duties our teachers have
to perform. Ability to teach well im
plies the power to interest and fix the
attention of the pupil or class ; the
power to illustrate and apply principles ;
the power to read character, so as to be
able to adapt instruction to the varying
capacities and dispositions of different
pupils ; and the discretion to know what
to teach, when to teach, and how much
to teach. Aptness to teach does not
necessarily imply the highest order of
scholarship, nor the largest ability to
understand and explain a given lesson;
but the power to inspire, guide, and
control pupils in self-culture, and in the
attainment of knowledge by their own
earnest application.

184 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

School-trustees should spare no pains,
in the selection of teachers for their
schools, to find those who possess these
peculiar gifts. And they should examine
the candidate also in reference to another
qualification; viz., energy of character, or
what is appropriately called "snap."
One live teacher is worth a score of dead
ones. He will accomplish much more
work ; and his presence and influence
are inspiring, not only in the schoolroom,
but in the homes of the children and by
the way. A live teacher makes a live
school, and awakens a new interest in
the cause of popular education in the
community where he resides. This vital
energy of which I speak enlivens his
whole being. It is seen in the elasticity
of his step, and in. his animated conver
sation. It flashes from his eyes, and
streams from his fingers, as the red cur
rent of life courses rapidly through his

, THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 185

veins, propelled by a heart, every fibre
of which throbs with sympathetic emo
tion, and a lively interest in the work in
which he is engaged. Energy is essential
to success in any enterprise, and espe
cially in the difficult and important work
of managing and teaching school.

WELL-BALANCED MIND.

And the teacher of our children should
have a well-balanced and highly -cultivated
mind.

The man or woman of " one idea," the
mere visionary of eccentric habits, should
never be tolerated in the schoolroom.
Such a person has distorted views of life,
and false principles of action ; and is an
unsafe exemplar and guide of youth.
The educator, above all men, should have
a sound mind, a clear judgment, and a
comprehensive knowledge of men and
things. All his mental faculties should

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186 TEE PARENTS' MANUAL.

be fully developed, and in harmonious
action ; and this implies not only sound
ness, but culture. And that culture
should be liberal ; by which I mean, the
mind should be disciplined by hard study,
and stored by extensive information gath
ered from the broad field of science, his
tory, and literature. It is not enough
that our teachers understand merely the
branches to be taught in our schools:
they should be intellectual men and wo
men, who have the power of systematic
thought ; the power to analyze, classify,
and reason; and the power to employ
their varied culture and attainments in
the business and duties of practical life.
Such teachers only are well furnished for
their work ; and such only should be re
garded as suitable candidates for the high
office which they are called to fill.

I have urged the desirableness of ex
tensive culture for all our teachers. I

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 187

must now insist upon the necessity of
a thorough knowledge of the primary
branches. This implies, first of all, a
knowledge of the principles which under
lie the science of arithmetic, geography,
grammar, history, &c. These principles,
with the reasons and application to the
science, must be learned and made famil
iar, or the teacher has no ability to in
struct successfully. It is important,
therefore, to inquire how thoroughly the
candidate (for whatever grade of school)
has been trained in these principles and

facts.

NORMAL TRAINING.

But this is not enough. Our teachers
must be professionally trained. We have
given them a position of great dignity ;
have intrusted them with a work of vast
importance ; and we require of them
duties of fearful import. u To teach,"
says Dr. Charming, " whether by word or

188 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

action, is the greatest function on earth;"
and can it be that they need no special
preparation for their work ?

We require of our physician, our law
yer, and our clergyman, that he should be
professionally educated. It is not enough
that he has been thoroughly drilled in
academic halls ; not enough that he has
been liberally educated. We do not in
trust to him the life of our child, unless
he has studied medicine ; nor an impor
tant suit in chancery, unless he has studied
law ; nor do we regard him qualified to
preach the gospel, unless he has studied
theology.

Yea, more. We require a professional
training for the common mechanic, the
farmer, the sailor, and indeed for every
art, trade, and occupation. We do not
allow a man to build a house, to cultivate
a farm, to navigate a ship, to shoe a
horse, to repair a watch, nor even to

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 189

shave the hair from the chin, who has not
served an apprenticeship in order to
learn the special art we expect him to
practise.

Now, " teaching is an art, and the
teacher an artist,1' — an art of the greatest
difficulty and highest importance. And
shall we continue to intrust the business
of educating our children to those who
have had no opportunity for normal in
struction ? — to the mere novice, simply
because she knows a little of arithmetic,
geography, and grammar ? Nothing can
be more inconsistent and unwise than to
assign a work so important to those who
have no skill, and who have been un
taught in the profession.

We have our schools of law, of medi
cine, and of divinity. We regard them
as a necessity. We require an appren
ticeship in every trade, and in every kind
of business. This, too, is highly appro-

190 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

priate and necessary to the end in view.
We expect none to undertake the duties
of these professions or trades who have
not had this special preparation. But,
until within a few years, no provision
was made for the professional training of
teachers ; nor was it regarded of any im
portance. The impression prevailed that
anybody could keep school; and hence
anybody who would serve an ignorant
constituency in this menial office for a
very small compensation was employed.
But I trust a ~ brighter day has dawned.
Normal schools have, at length, been es
tablished in nearly every State in the
Union, and a multitude of teachers have
been gathered into them. Still, only a
small part of the teachers of our public
schools have yet been reached. And this
is not the worst feature of the case.
The majority do not feel its importance.
They can secure their certificates, fulfil

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 191

their engagements, and receive their
wages ; and hence they are satisfied.

The great responsibility in this matter,
after all, rests upon parents. They do
not demand the professionally-educated
teachers. They too often prefer those
not qualified, if only they will consent to
work for less pay, and submit to more
hardships. Let it be understood through
out our country that no candidates for
the teacher's office will be accepted un
less they are normally educated, as it is
understood that no one can practise medi
cine unless he has studied the "healing
art," and soon normal schools would be
multiplied, and all filled by earnest stu
dents preparing themselves for the impor
tant work.

It is the duty of parents, therefore, to
demand of their teachers higher qualifi
cations. If not educated at the normal
school, they should be professionally edu

192 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

cated somewhere and in some way.
Then would teaching become a profes
sion in the same sense as law or medi
cine ; and our schools would be ele
vated to a position which their impor
tance demands, and to a usefulness so
much to be desired.

A NOBLE MAISTHOOD.

But the crowning excellence of the
well-qualified teacher is a noble manhood
or womanhood. We desire to make men
and women of our children. How can
we hope to do this, except through the
example, influence, and instruction of
true manliness or womanliness at home
and in the schoolroom ? Instructors
should possess such qualities and princi
ples as may be safely copied by their
pupils. They should have physical
vigor, gracefulness of manners, a highly-
cultivated and well-furnished mind, a

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 193

heart full of noble sentiments and swell
ing with generous emotions, and a char
acter founded upon Christian principle
and above suspicion. These virtues we
may hope to see ingrafted upon our chil
dren. Sure we may be that all the vices
of the teacher will be copied by his
pupils.

To illustrate, I may recall the story
of the china plate. A fanciful house
wife chanced to find among the waste
crockery of her hardware merchant a
style and figure of plate which greatly
pleased her. This specimen was badly
cracked and marred: but it showed an
exquisitely fine design ; and she at once
decided to send the plate to China, to
have a set manufactured exactly like the
pattern. This was her order ; and it was
executed accordingly. Imagine the mor
tification of the good lady, on receiving
her goods, to find the imitation so perfect,

17

194 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

that all the defects of the old plate had
been wrought into the new !

So parents may expect the reproduc
tion of the teacher in their children,
with all the spots and stains which are
found upon his character. Let them look
well, therefore, to the qualifications of
those to whom they intrust so important
a charge.

FEMALE TEACHERS

have taken the field of education as
by conquest. More than two-thirds of
the public schools of our land are man
aged and taught by women. A change
was produced by the war of the Rebel
lion, which called into military service a
large number of young men who had
been employed in teaching. But the rea
son why women are and will be retained
in the schools is found in the fact that
they are peculiarly fitted for the business

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 195

of teaching. Woman is the divinely ap
pointed teacher of her race. She has
natural endowments and special fitness
for the work in the school as well as in
the family. She has proved herself not
only uapt to teach," but also capable of
managing and governing successfully.
Her quick sensibilities, ardent sympathies,
natural love for the true, the beautiful,
and the good, her patience, perseverance,
and enthusiasm, eminently qualify her
for this important field of labor. Chil
dren are drawn to her as by a natural in
stinct: they trust in her with implicit
confidence.

Hence woman is especially adapted to
the primary and intermediate schools.
In selecting a teacher, the woman of
equal qualifications should always be
preferred to the man for either depart
ment. She has also honored the profes
sion in important positions in the acad-

196 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

emy and seminary ; and, in some instances,
at the head of these institutions.

As a class, woman has a higher stand
ard of morals and manners. She does
not " smoke," nor "drink," nor "swear,"
nor waste her time loafing in places of
public resort. And she has more refined
feelings and manners ; and therefore she
has more power to gain the affections and
win the confidence of the young who are
ready to profit by the influence of her
correct habits and good example.

And woman is not only adapted to the
care and instruction of children in the
family and school, but has the capacity
for that broad and thorough culture
which is essential to the position she
occupies. Both in the academic and
normal course of studies, she is quite the
equal of her brother. The difficulty has
been, she has lacked the opportunity to
improve and elevate herself. And to-day

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 197

there is no one thing more important to
the welfare of the rising generation than
the liberal education of woman. She
must mould the family, and give charac
ter to the children and youth as they will
be found in the school and as citizens in
the State. She is relied upon, and must
be, chiefly, to manage and instruct our
public schools. This fact is not to be
regretted, but should be urged as a new
plea for her elevation through culture.
The schools will be better taught and
better managed under her control just
as soon as she is allowed time and
opportunity to make the necessary prep
aration. And one of the most important
duties which parents owe to their chil
dren, in their relations to the school, is,
to provide for the education of these
teachers. They should not only seek
those to instruct their schools who have
the best qualifications, but should provide

17*

198 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

training-schools of high, order, that all
may be thoroughly fitted for their work.
The elevation of the teacher is the eleva
tion of the school, and the surest way to
secure the highest improvement of the
children. Parents in every State in the
Union, in every county, and in every
district, one and all, are therefore espe
cially interested in building up and sus
taining the Normal School.

PEBMASTENCY DESIEABLE.

Still another important suggestion to
parents in this connection is the perma
nency of their teachers. If any are so
unfortunate as to select a poor teacher
for their school, the quicker she is ex
changed, the better for all concerned ;
but, if efficient and desirable, let her be
retained as long as possible. The habit
of changing teachers, as practised in
many districts, twice or three times

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 199

every year, is ruinous to the school.
What can the teacher, who enters the
school for one term only, know of the
character and peculiarities of her pupils ?
What motive can she have to adopt and
attempt to carry out a systematic course
of instruction, when she knows that her
successor will be likely to introduce an
entirely different course ? What can
awaken interest in her pupils, or en
thusiasm in herself, when she realizes
that her work may be undone as soon
as she leaves it? And what can the
school do to advantage, when nearly all
their time is spent in experimenting
upon new theories and methods of in
struction?

But, with the permanent teacher, every
thing is different. On re-opening her
school after a vacation, she is cordially
greeted by loving and confiding pupils.
She knows every class and every scholar,

200 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

and understands their peculiarities and
their wants. On the day of opening, the
school can be completely organized, and
in good working order. All enter upon
their duties with interest and zeal ; and
the experience of previous terms in the
same position enables the teacher to
adapt her instruction to the character and
standing of her pupils, and the best
results are realized.

So it is in every kind of business, as all
understand. No business-firm would, if
they could avoid it, allow a quarterly
exchange of book-keepers in their mer
cantile-houses, of agents and overseers in
their factories, of financiers in their banks,
of masters for their merchantmen, of
commanders for their iron-clads, or of
engineers for their railroads. Business
men make no such blunders. And yet
the changes here indicated would be no
more disastrous than frequent changes of

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 201

teachers. We need, first efficiency, and
then permanency. Failing to abide this
principle, at least fifty per cent of the
real profit of our schools, for the last fifty
years, has been lost.

PUBLIC SCHOOLS AND A FREE STATE.

I have elsewhere argued the impor
tance of the family in its relations to the
State ; and have urged fidelity in family
discipline, that the children may be fitted
for the important duties of citizenship.
I now come to consider the public school
in its relations to our free government.

The character of the school is deter
mined by the character of the families of
which it is composed ; and the State must
become what the family and school have
made it.

The American common school, as
planted in New England and transplanted
in every free State in the Union, is, in an

202 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

important sense, a political institution, and
the very corner-stone of our government.
It is not a purely scholastic, domestic, nor
ecclesiastic institution; and yet it has
a close connection with the university,
the family, and the church. In it the
American people have their first drill in
public life. The child who enters the
public schoolroom for the first time
knows public life; and there can be no
substitute for the peculiar education in
citizenship he there receives. A public
school in America is a little republic,
where children of all orders of society,
and every grade of culture, are taught to
live together under a common system of
law, governed by public officials whose
authority is backed by the whole power
of the State. There, during the period
of school-life, he rehearses every phase of
the public life of his country. There he
receives that mental illumination and

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 203

rudimentary knowledge which help him
to be an intelligent citizen. There he
gains the more important instruction in
personal character as related to others
living under law. There he learns how
to conduct himself in his relations to his
fellow-men, and to respect their rights.

When we consider the exclusiveness
of family-life, the clannish tendency of all
business-connections, the violent preju
dices that influence individual members
of homes, churches, and professional
cliques, we can realize the importance of
that generous discipline of manhood and
womanhood which alone can fit our chil
dren for American citizenship. The
public school only can instruct the
masses of American people in what per
tains to public character and public virtue.
It stands next above the family ; and is
the first step out of that divine institu
tion into that other divine organization,

204 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

the State. And, if we can determine
what is the most essential element of
our national prosperity, we shall under
stand what is the most important lesson
to be taught in our public schools. And
can any doubt that that element is pub
lic virtue, and that lesson the morality
of the Bible? There was no question,
among our wise, practical, and devout
ancestors who established the American
public school, about its right and imper
ative duty to teach morality, and so
much of religious truth as is essential to
it. Indeed, the original common school
of our free States was a seminary of ear
nest moral patriotism. Moral instruction
bore a large proportion to the entire
work of the school. The Bible was the
reading-book. The master who failed to
maintain a high standard of character,
and who could not preserve order, was
turned out. The sermons, exhortations,

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 205

and prayers in the schoolroom were
often more effective for the youthful con
gregation than those emanating from the
pulpit. This emphasis on moral and pa
triotic culture in the old schoolhouse was
one of the most powerful elements of our
national success.

The common school of our day has
made great progress in the line of out
ward accommodations, and methods of
scientific and literary instruction ; but we
may fear that it is losing its original
power as the national teacher of public
character. As a scientific agency, it has
been prodigiously enlarged; but it is in
danger of losing that which once made
it our national sheet-anchor, as the natu
ral teacher of public virtue, and the
training-school of American citizenship.
Intellectual brilliancy is too often, un
der the name of "culture," allowed to
override every thing. Instruction in

18

206 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

morals and patriotism are too much neg
lected.

Our government is founded upon the
principles of Christianity ; and hence the
Bible, which is our text-book of Christian
morals, should not only be retained, but
faithfully taught in our schools, not to
impart dogmas and creeds, but to im
press its own purifying and life-giving
precepts upon the tender heart of child
hood. The personal and religious char
acter of our teachers should be a matter
of earnest solicitude and inquiry on the
part of those who are intrusted with the
guardianship of public instruction.

The people's school should be cher
ished as a national birthright : it should
be located upon every hill-top and in
every valley, throughout the length and
breadth of this vast country ; it should
receive the fostering care of our state
and central governments ; it should laing

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 207

within its enclosure, for culture and in
struction, all children of school-age, and
of every sect and condition in life; for
all are to become citizens, to share the
responsibility and to enjoy the blessings
of our free institutions.

Every effort of mistaken or misguided
men to subvert the public school, to
change its character and office, and to
turn it to secular and partisan purposes,
should be firmly and earnestly resisted.
Our laws guarantee to all religious free
dom. Every man, and class of men, are
protected in the enjoyment of their own
religious views, and modes of worship.
Hence it is not proper that the public
school, established for the education of
tlie whole people, should be under eccle
siastical and partisan control.

Now, if we would cherish and sustain
our free government, and preserve untar
nished for coining generations the bless-

208 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ings which it is calculated to bestow, we
must turn back to the common school
bequeathed us by our fathers, which
took under its guardianship the public
morals, and inculcated the pure princi
ples of patriotism. We must cling to
the Bible, the true source of all moral
instruction, and insist upon instilling its
conservative and purifying principles
into the minds and hearts of our chil
dren, and ingrafting them into their
lives. The present form of government
in America is the logical growth of a
Christian civilization which would be
impossible without the Christian morality
found in the New Testament. All our
great political conflicts are essentially
moral; and we must realize the truth,
that we have no security in the present or
the future, except in the faithful training
of our children, in the family and the
school, according to the genius and spirit

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 209

of our peculiar institutions. To cast off
this duty of the State to teach public
virtue and Christian patriotism in her
schools would be a criminal surrender of
important principles and our dearest
rights, and would result in nothing less
than political suicide.

COMPTJXSOBY

Our children belong to the State.
They will become citizens of this great
republic: and if it is true, as I have
asserted, that the public school alone can
instruct them in what pertains to public
character and public virtue ; if here
alone we can hope to give them that cul
ture and intelligence which are necessary
to -American citizenship, — it must follow
that the common school is a necessity,
and that its object will not be accom
plished until all the children in the nation
shall enjoy its advantages.

18*

210 TEE PARENTS' MANUAL.

Just here comes in the plea for compul
sory education.

The necessity for universal intelligence
and virtue to the perpetuity of a free
government was understood and pro
vided for by our Pilgrim ancestors.
Their first and greatest efforts were made
in this direction. They established the
public school for the very purpose of im
parting to the masses gratuitous primary
instruction and the morality of the Bible ;
but they failed to see the importance of
making attendance upon these schools
obligatory. Hence thousands upon thou
sands of unthinking or ungrateful par
ents in every free State in the Union
have allowed their children to grow up
in ignorance and vice, to their own in
jury and the peril of the republic.
Conscious of this mistake, and of the
alarming evils resulting from it, several,
of our States have already added a

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 211

compulsory clause to their school-laws ;
and when the whole American people
shall have reached the same conclusion,
and a general law compelling school-
attendance shall have been enacted, the
task of government will be much easier,
and the results flowing from popular rule
will be much more hopeful as the moral
tone of the nation is elevated.

United Germany and Switzerland owe
their greatest strength and security to
that feature of their laws which compels
parents to educate their children; and
such a law is equally consistent with
the genius of our own government.

Our school-system was established, and
has been maintained, under the superin
tendence of State authority. We com
pel our citizens to pay school-taxes, to
build and furnish schoolhouses, employ
teachers, and procure books ; and may
we not with as much reason compel

212 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

them to -allow their children to avail
themselves of the advantages thus pro
vided? The public weal demands the
school as a means of safety ; and, to the
same end, it demands attendance upon
this school. A free State has a right to
maintain its own freedom by compulsory
laws ; and hence it has the right, and
it is its duty, to compel intelligence in
every instance where ignorance would
be the result of voluntary action.

And the propriety of compulsory laws
in a republican form of government may
be seen by still further examples, drawn
from our own statute-books. The preser
vation of the State requires a military
force which the executive may raise and
control at discretion. The army and navy
are necessary to repel invasion, and sub
due rebellion ; and we find provision
made in our laws for either emergency.
We not only have a . standing army und

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 213

navy subject to the absolute control of
our President, but a militia composed of
our able-bodied citizens, who are subject
to a compulsory draft for military service.
But is it consistent with personal freedom
under a free government to compel a
citizen to leave his home, his family, and
his business, to enter upon the hard and
dangerous service of the camp and the
battle-field for the good of his country,
and not consistent to compel him to edu
cate his children in the free public
schools to the same end?

May we compel a child to enter the
State Reform School, or House of Correc
tion, and not rightfully compel him to
attend the public school, which may pre
vent the crime he has committed? May
we inflict severe penalties upon those who
have outraged the community by their
crimes, and not be allowed to enforce the
education of that class of children and

214 77IE PARENTS' MANUAL.

youth from which nine- tenths of all our
criminals come ?

Every law is an infringement upon the
personal freedom of that citizen who is
disposed to violate it ; but such personal
liberty must be restrained, and such laws
must be enforced as have in view the good
of the State.

Our free government is based upon
the principle of freedom under law. It
guarantees the right of every citizen to
do as he pleases, so long as he pleases to
do right. It restrains him from doing
what is wrong, so far as that wrong
inflicts an injury upon the State. Judged
by this principle, no man has any right
to allow his children to grow up in idle
ness, ignorance, and vice. The State has
provided the opportunity for their free
education ; and, if they do not improve it,
they become a source of social danger.
Idleness and ignorance are sure condi-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 215

tions of vice and crime; and these are
elements of national decay.

It becomes the imperative duty of par
ents, therefore, not only to provide the
best advantages for the education of
their children in free public schools, but
also to see to it that such a law is enacted
and enforced as will insure the education
of every man's children in the neighbor
hood and State.

PABENTS' RELATIONS TO TEACHEBS.

Parents have special duties to perform
in the relations they sustain to their
teachers. If well qualified and faithful,
as we demand, these teachers have a
right to claim fidelity and co-operation on
the part of their employers.

They should receive fair compensation
for their valuable services.

I see no reason why teaching should not
be as remunerative as other professional

216 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

labor, which is estimated not only as ser
vice, but in view of the time and money
spent in preparation. It is an admitted
principle, that wages should be increased
in proportion to the knowledge and skill
attained in every department of industry.

Common physical labor has its value ;
and the same labor, when directed by
that intelligence and special ability which
qualify for leadership, as master-work
men, may demand more compensation.
And if the preparation for the desired
service requires special training ; if years
of time and much money are necessary
to make that service available, as in the
learned professions, — salaries are raised
accordingly.

Hence the superintendent may receive
much more than the common operative ;
the physician may demand as much for a
single visit as his patient would receive
for a day's labor ; and the lawyer for an

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 217

hour's pleading, as much as his client for
a month's service.

It must follow, therefore, that the well-
qualified teacher should receive more pay
than the common day-laborer or the
illiterate household drudge. And yet, in
times past, this principle has not been
recognized ; and our public school-teach
ers have been so poorly paid, that the bet
ter class have, in many instances, sought
other and more lucrative employments.
It is hoped that wiser counsels will pre
vail, and that parents everywhere will
see not only the propriety, but the neces
sity, of employing the best teachers at
their command, and paying them liberally
for their services.

And teachers should have provided for
them a permanent and pleasant home in
the district where they teach.

I will not deny that there are some
advantages in the old practice of board-

19

218 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ing the schoolmaster "around."* He is
thus compelled to form an intimate
acquaintance with his patrons, and to
learn the peculiarities and wants of each
family. He may thus gain influence and
power in the management of his school
by securing the confidence and co-opera
tion of his pupils and their parents.
Still all these social advantages can be
gained, without the evil contemplated, by
visiting these families at their homes, as
the teacher should always do.

No one more needs the conveniences
and comforts of a home than the labo
rious and care-worn instructress of our
children. She needs it for rest and com
fort while she can be released from the
excitement and toil of the schoolroom.

* The author is aware that the habit of boarding the
teacher round is much less common than years ago. Still
it prevails in the rural districts to some extent, and
hence should receive a passing notice in this connection.

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 219

She needs it that she may have time and
opportunity to prepare herself for her
important school-duties. And she needs it
in common with all other civilized human
beings ; as u there is no place like home,"
even though it be substituted and tempo
rary.

What should we think of the church
that should require their pastor to board
among his parishioners ; that should com
pel him to feel that he has among his
people "no abiding-place," but must go
with his wife and children from house to
house to get his daily bread ? How
much time would such a minister have
to prepare himself for his pulpit-services ?
Indeed, how greatly would his usefulness
be abridged by such a foolish effort on
the part of his parish to economize !

And suppose the village doctor was
required to board among his patients ?
Such an idea would be ridiculed as pre-

220 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

posterous ; but why more unreasonable
to require the minister and doctor to
board in twenty different families every
three months than to require the school
master and school-mistress to do the
same?

The teacher needs a steady, pleasant
home ; and it is not only the imperative
duty but the best policy of trustees to
provide such a home.

Again : every teacher should be allowed
to manage his own school. If not com
petent to do so, he should not have been
employed. If a mistake has been made,
and an incompetent person engaged, the
difficulty will not be removed by the in
terference of parents.

Teachers often seek advice, and may
profit by it ; but any effort on the part of
parents to dictate and control in the mat
ter of school-management is not only un
wise, but ruinous. The teacher totf often

THE CHILDREN- AT SCHOOL. 221

finds among his patrons those who pre
sume to give gratuitous information and
counsel. Mrs. A., in a very friendly spirit,
informs him that her neighbor has some
very bad boys who always make trouble
in school, and warns him to be on his
guard. Mrs. C. thinks it important that
he should know how sensitive the parents
in that district are on the subject of
corporal punishment, and advises him to
govern mainly by moral suasion. She
assures him, if he will do so, he will be
popular and successful.

Mrs. L., an old school-teacher, has, in
her own estimation, some excellent ideas
upon different methods of instruction ;
and she is very anxious that the master
should adopt them in that school. So the
meddlesome mischief - making goes on,
until the young teacher is distracted and
perplexed beyond measure ; and as he
cannot, if he would, listen to the sugges-

19*

222 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

tions nor follow the advice of all, he is
sure to become the subject of tea-party
gossip, and of village criticism and abuse,
such as will greatly interfere with his use
fulness, if it does not prevent his success,
in that district.

Wise teachers pay no attention to such
unwarrantable interference ; and wise
parents allow and encourage the teacher
to manage his own school in his own way.

Another important idea : Parents
should always sustain the teacher in main
taining his authority in the school. That
authority is supreme, and may never be
trifled with by the pupil.

Unconditional obedience in the school,
as well as in the family, is the rule ; and
the teacher has a right to expect the
cordial support of all his patrons in
enforcing that rule. The best good of
the child, as well as the success of the
school, depends upon this co-operation.

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 223

Parents are too often ready to listen to
the complaints of their children, and to
sympathize with them in rebellion against
the authority of the school. It would be
better never to allow such fault-finding ;
never to criticise, but always to sustain
the teacher in the presence of children.
If they can have the encouragement of
parents in their recklessness at school, they
will become bold and defiant, and will
paralyze, if they do not destroy, the influ
ence and efforts even of the best teachers.

But grant that the teacher is in fault ;
that he is really inefficient, and the school
comparatively worthless : it is better to
sustain even a poor teacher for months
than to allow the pupils to have any
agency in breaking up the school. If an
incompetent teacher is to be dismissed, it
should be done by the independent action
of the district, and not at the suggestion
or by the aid of pupils in rebellion. Let

224 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

them be kept in subjection by whatever
means necessary, without regard to the ef
ficiency or inefficiency of the government
in power. Obedience and fidelity are
required of them in all their relations
to the school, no matter under what
circumstances they are placed. If all
parents should take this view of the
subject, and so co-operate and sustain
their teachers, our public schools would
be vastly more efficient and useful than
they ever have been ; the spirit of in
subordination which has manifested itself
to an alarming extent within a few years
past, in our public schools, academies, and
colleges, would soon be crushed out ; and
our children, as they come up to assume
the responsibilities of life, would become
obedient and loyal citizens, and faithful
subjects under the government of God.
We little realize how much the discipline
of the family and the school have 4o do

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 225

in forming the character and habits of
the future man and woman as they will
appear in their relations to the State
and under the divine law. Mothers and
teachers, under God, make them what
they are, and through them determine
the character and destiny of the nation.

Again : parents should encourage their
teacher by manifesting a real interest in
his work, and by a hearty co-operation
in all his efforts to benefit the school.
Such sympathy and aid have their influ
ence, not only upon the teacher, but upon
the school. Children are creatures of
impulse. They are greatly influenced by
circumstances, and in school-matters by
nothing more than by the interest or
apathy manifested by their parents.

It must follow, therefore, that if parents
would see their schools prosper, and their
children rising from grade to grade in a
thorough and systematic course of study,

226 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

they must manifest a deep interest and
an earnest enthusiasm in every thing that
pertains to the school.

They do not expect success in any
other enterprise without oversight and
interest. The tea-party, the sewing-circle,
the missionary-association, which are or
ganized in every community for social
and benevolent purposes, could not pros
per without the earnest attention of the
mothers and matrons who are interested
in them. No farmer w^ould intrust the
training of his animals to exhibit at a
county-fair or upon the race-ground
without a personal supervision, and a deep
interest manifested in every stage of
progress. The servants who have the
direct care of these animals are encour
aged by words of approval and praise,
and an abiding sympathy in all the
details of the process. And can it be a
matter of less importance and of less

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 227

interest to parents that their own chil
dren are under the process of training
for the stage of life and for immortality ?
and can they afford to give up this work
of education so entirely to others, that
both the teacher and the children lose the
inspiring influence of an approving smile
and an encouraging word from them as
they toil on in their arduous work ?

Next come the specific duties which
parents have to perform in these rela
tions. The degree of interest which they
feel in the working of their school is
manifest, —

1. In their efforts to secure constancy
and punctuality of attendance. Every
intelligent parent understands the impor
tance of this suggestion. Children who
do not give their undivided time and
attention to the school suffer an irrepara
ble loss of time, of ability, and of interest.
The days, half-days and hours of absence

228 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

and tardiness frequently amount to weeks
in terms, and months in years. And this
is not all : the loss of ability to study suc
cessfully results from the loss of time.
Lessons are dependent upon each other ;
and when one is learned, and the next
omitted, the scholar has no ability to
understand the third : he acquires super
ficial habits of study, becomes discour
aged, and loses his interest in his lessons
and in the school. And still further :
the class and the school to which he
belongs suffer in consequence of his ab
sences. The teacher's time is taxed in
giving him extra instruction ; and yet he
drags behind his class. And thus, not
unfrequently, scholars of good ability
accomplish nothing, and lose all the ben
efit of the school, in consequence of tar
diness and frequent absences which it is
the duty of parents to prevent. And,
beyond all these evil results, the habit of

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 229

irregularity is formed, which follows the
child through life. He who is habitually
tardy at school will be tardy at church,
tardy in business, and unreliable every
where.

And it is equally objectionable to allow
children leave of absence before the reg
ular hour for dismission. Parents should
so arrange their business and their meals
as to give their children the full control
of their time during the term of school ;
and then they should insist upon constant
and punctual attendance. A word to
the wise is sufficient on this point.

2. The interest parents feel in the suc
cess of their school appears also in their
efforts to encourage fidelity and studious-
ness in their children.

Parents should not only give their chil
dren the time while the school is in
session, and insist upon their con
stancy and punctuality in attendance, but

230 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

should also impress upon them the im
portance of improving the opportunities
thus afforded. Much may be done to aid
in the successful working of the school
by earnest home-counsel. Point out to
these children the personal advantages to
be realized in the future by those who
improve their youth by self-culture.
Show them that their relative position in
society, their influence and usefulness, de
pend upon the manner in which they
spend their fleeting school-days. Encour
age them faithfully to prepare every
lesson assigned them, and to cherish a
deep interest in every school-exercise, as
a means to the end in view.

Who can fail to see, that, if such an
interest should be manifested and such
an influence exerted in every family in
the district by the parents, a power
would be brought to bear upon the school
which would be felt for good in its ele-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 231

vation and prosperity ? Teachers would
by such co-operation be inspired with
new hope and encouragement, and would
renew their diligence and fidelity in the
noble work in which they are engaged.
A want of such encouragement and aid
has been a fruitful source of difficulty and
failure in the public schools of our coun-
try.

3. Parents who have a suitable degree
of interest will seek frequent opportu
nities to visit their schools.

Every parent in every district in the
nation should visit his children's school
at least twice during every term.
These visits should not be made for the
purpose of interfering with the discipline
of the school, or of assisting in conduct
ing its exercises. It is presumed that the
teacher employed is entirely competent
to manage his own affairs. But parents
should visit their schools to learn how

232 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

they are conducted, and to manifest their
interest in the education of their children.
These occasional visits will do more than
any thing else can do to rouse and
encourage the teacher, and to inspire the
pupils with zeal and earnestness in the
discharge of their school-duties. Such
visits have a decided influence over the
deportment of the school. They tend to
cultivate pride of character, school-pride,
and self-respect in the pupils, and to
check all tendencies to disorder and
rebellion. Few children are so aban
doned and reckless as to indulge in
improper conduct in the presence of
visitors, or so lost to self-respect as to
feel no interest in the reputation of the
school. Hence under such restraint
they learn to cultivate the habit of good
order, and to give respectful attention.

Again: parental visits have an influ
ence to secure a higher order of scholar-

THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL. 233

ship in the school. They awaken a new
interest, and create a new zeal, in the
work of the schoolroom. Children have
a laudable desire to appear well in the
presence of critics ; and hence they will
labor to prepare their lessons.

These are some of the obvious and
necessary results of a faithful discharge
of parental duty in school relations.

And it seems proper here to inquire
of parents, as a practical question, how
far they have performed these duties.

Have you, my friend, whose eye may
fall upon this printed page, always sus
tained the teacher of your children in
maintaining the authority of the school ?
Have you encouraged that teacher by
your own manifest zeal, interest, and co
operation in the arduous and important
work you have assigned him ? And, to
be more specific, have you made special

efforts to secure the constant and punc-
20*

234 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

tual attendance of your children upon
the exercises of the school? Have you
encouraged their fidelity and studious-
ness as pupils by earnest and constant ap
peals to their reason and conscience "?

And, finally, do you visit your school at
frequent intervals, and thus inspire and
encourage your children and their teacher
in the noble work you have given them
to do ? If so, do it more faithfully here
after : if not, from this hour wake up to
a consciousness of your obligations in
this regard, and henceforth do your duty.

X.

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY,

"CUBING all these years of home and
school life, our children must min
gle more or less in society. Hence, in the
discipline of the family, parental watch
fulness and care must have regard also
to this source of educational influence
and danger.

Childhood is confined, for the most
part, to the family-circle. Its associa
tions are formed amid the endearing rela
tions of home. Away from the strife
and bustle of the world, it breathes a
purer atmosphere, and feels the more
exalted and refining influences of love
and affection.

235

236 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

Youth is more exposed. It mingles
in the village and the school with com
panions and strangers, and necessarily
receives the impress of their example.
The daily transactions of life, the public
meeting, the customs, manners, and laws
of society, the arts, the professions, — all
these, which constitute the real life of
manhood, bring a powerful influence to
bear upon our children long before they
reach maturity.

And, that we may understand how far
parental responsibility extends in this
direction, let us inquire to what extent
the influence of society may control the
education and determine the destiny of
these children. This influence, as brought
to bear upon them for good or for evil,
may be regarded as threefold; viz., the
positively bad, the negatively bad, and
the positively good.

The positively bad influence is 'found

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 237

in the prevalence in community of false
views of life, erroneous* principles, and a
corrupt state of public taste and morals.
The influence of the wretched habits of
thought, feeling, and action, that is often
found in community, is sufficient to coun
teract, neutralize, or destroy the results
of the most successful education. And
this controlling influence of society is felt
much earlier than is generally supposed.
Could the mother's love and pure exam
ple control the child until early manhood,
he would be comparatively safe ; but
how often is public example responsible
for impressions made upon the almost
infant spirit ! — for a train of influences
which contaminate the atmosphere of
the nursery and the schoolroom ! How
often has the true mother, acting in all
the dignity of her exalted position, by a
calm and Christian spirit and a pure
Christian example, instructed, refined, and

238 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

elevated her child, until, under God, it
seemed to be allied to the angels in its
nature ! — and still as often the world has
come in to mar her beautiful workman
ship, and sometimes to destroy it.

It follows, therefore, that either these
corrupting influences of society must be
removed, or counteracted and controlled
by the special vigilance and earnest
action of parents in the training of their
children.

And the negatively bad influence of
society produces much evil to the cause
of education. The child comes from the
bosom of the family, his heart all glowing
with the kindly influences of home, and a
love of the pure and beautiful : the pupil
leaves the school, where he has tasted
the sweets of learning, and felt the
inspiring influence of the earnest and
true teacher's example. They enter the
community where there is felt but little

TUB CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 239

interest for the child, or his school, or his
education. Their warm affections meet
a cold and lifeless formality. Their
thoughts are diverted from the themes
connected with their own culture and ele
vation to the world of fashion, politics,
and speculation. And what must be the
influence of such a change upon the child
and the pupil ? It cannot fail to paralyze
or destroy every effort for his improve
ment, and all the beneficial results of any
nominal system of education.

A positively good educational influ
ence in society implies the existence of
a high tone of moral and religious senti
ment, a deep and abiding interest in
the education of the children at home
and in school, and a corresponding activ
ity both in private and public. More
than half a century ago, Edmund Burke,
in speaking of the English and French
nobility, said the French had the advan-

240 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

tage of the English in being surrounded
by a powerful out-guard of military
education. How powerful that out-guard
was against the attack of an internal foe,
the strange history of that nation will
show.

How much more wise and noble the
purpose of society to protect the rising
generation by implanting around them
the more powerful out-guard of a
thorough Christian education ! The edu
cational influence of society thus consti
tuted would be great beyond comparison.
It would not only protect the tender in
terests of those well educated in the
family, but would gather in the neglected
and half-ruined from the "hedges" and
"highways," and train them also for use
fulness. Society should be itself a school,
capable of imparting every lesson and
precept fitted to elevate and enrich the
human character. It should be the guar-

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 241

dian of domestic and public education,
of private and public virtue, and the ex
emplar of that religion which purifies the
heart and elevates the affections.

The historian informs us that the laws
of Lycurgus and Solon were only the
public sentiment of the age in which they
lived, and that their names have been
immortalized for doing what circum
stances demanded. Fortunate it would
be if such a state of public sentiment
existed among us as would not only
create wholesome laws, but the necessity
of their execution; as would not only
compel us to feel the importance of edu
cation to our individual, social, and civil
welfare, but to act consistently with such
a conviction. The cause of popular edu
cation in our country needs the genuine
protection, and true-hearted, life-inspiring

sympathy, of the public.
21

242 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

SPECIAL DANGERS.

The special dangers to which our chil
dren are exposed, as they come out of
the family to mingle in society, may now
be considered.

And, first, I will name corrupt associa
tions. Where is the city, the village, or
neighborhood, in which may not be found
the dissipated, profane, and vile ? And
how often do they disturb the public
peace by boisterous demonstrations, con
sume the products of industry by their
idleness and waste, sap the foundations
of virtue, and pollute the very atmos
phere they breathe !

In large cities these corrupters of
youth sometimes organize in order to
practise their iniquity with more success.
They follow gambling, thieving, robbery,
and murder, as a business, and extend
their operations far and near in every

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 243

direction. Their representatives, more
or less mature in the art of crime, are
scattered over the rural districts. Every
where they exert their pernicious influ
ence over the unwary and artless youth
by whom they are surrounded ; and these,
too, become contaminated.

In the beginning, it is not so much the
fault as the misfortune of these victims
of dissipation and crime that they fall
into this evil way. In many instances,
the most noble traits of character are the
source of their greatest danger. They
are genial, generous, and confiding, and
hence companionable and sympathetic,
and ready to follow where others may
lead. They do not suspect the evil to
which they are exposed, nor the pitfalls
which lie along the path they tread ; and
hence the danger is all the more alarm

ing.

Corrupt associations are at first more

244 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

commonly met in the streets, in loafers'
hall, and in the bar-room, where the idle
and vicious are accustomed to congre
gate. Once initiated, these impulsive
youth are led along by a natural process,
and by slow degrees are hardened for
the crimes of maturer life. They may
find their way to the house of correction,
the reform-school, or the prison ; or they
may escape these reforming agencies, and
become desperate characters.

It is sad to remember that these cor
rupting influences are sometimes met by
children of tender age in their own
homes. The example of a profane, dissi
pated, and ungodly life is constantly be
fore them. They feel its power, and are
drawn by it thus early into the fearful
current that nears the whirlpool, and
bears its unsuspecting victims towards
the threatened ruin. The corrupt society
of the school and neighborhood increases

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 245

the peril in such cases, and makes more
sure the destruction that awaits these
unfortunate children. If the home-influ
ences have been good, the perils which
beset the path of inexperienced youth
as they come out to mingle in society is
still fearful

Another source of special danger to
the young as they come in contact with
the world is a corrupt literature.

As soon as our children learn to read,
they are exposed to the corrupting influ
ence of the vile trash bearing the name
of literature with which our country is
flooded. It is found in the form of
obscene books, periodicals, and papers,
which, though strictly prohibited by law
from circulating through the mail, find a
ready market and an extensive sale. It is
found in the illustrated u Police Record"
and other sensational works, which tend

to excite the vicious propensities, and
21*

246 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

lead to crime. It is found in the story
telling monthlies and weeklies which are
sold by thousands in the streets, at the
railroad-stations, on every train of cars,
on every line of steamboats, and every
where that the vender can find a pur
chaser. The larger proportion of the
exciting stories of the present day are
strongly impregnated with moral poison,
and are fearfully productive of evil to
the young.

The several classes of literature to
which I have alluded must be regarded
as of a decidedly immoral tendency. Our
children who come in contact with it
cannot shun pollution.

And the whole class of light, cheap
literature, as it is written, and read by
the multitude, is destructive of the best
interests of our children.

Some works of fiction are approved,
and may be read with interest and profit ;

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 247

but promiscuous novel - reading, even
where there is no immoral tendency,
serves to weaken the intellect, pervert
the taste, and destroy the power of close
application which is indispensable to
thorough mental discipline and sound
scholarship.

" Life is real ; life is earnest ; " and prep
aration for its stern duties can never be
made by those who waste their time in
idle dreaming over the senseless novel of
the hour.

And the young are also exposed to
the prevalence in community of perverted
views of life, and false views of religious
truth.

And what are the chief aims of men
and women in the world, as viewed from
the standpoint of pure and artless child
hood ? Many, it is believed, are actuated
by exalted motives to the attainment of
noble ends. Such examples stand out in

248 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

bold relief to adorn the pages of the
world's history, and reflect honor upon
the race. But how many are seen in the
eager pursuit of wealth as the grand
object of life ! — not as a means of useful
ness, but to hoard or squander for their
own gratification. And such men are
sometimes unscrupulous as to the means
by which they aim to gain their object.
Few indeed reach by such means the
fancied prize, or realize the desired satis
faction ; and yet they afford an example
of false views of life. Others seek
position and power; and how often do
they sacrifice their peace, their manliness,
their all, for the bubble fame !

Still others bow down and worship at
the shrine of fashion and folly. How
numerous, how devout, and how servile,
this class of worshippers! But is the
grand aim of life either the pursuit of
wealth, power, or pleasure? chirely

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 249

there must be a higher and nobler pur
pose to be attained. But how are our
children to view the subject, if taught
only by the example of the society in
which they mingle? Will they not be
likely to adopt the same views of life,
and to seek the same selfish end ? What
shall hinder ?

And peril from false views of religious
truth is equally alarming. The chilling
influence of infidelity on the one hand,
and the withering power of fanaticism
on the other, will be felt upon them as
soon as they leave the protection of the
Christian home and school, and even
while under parental guardianship.
They cannot escape these influences ; and
the earnest inquiry of every parent
should be, how his children may be
protected from the evils of society here
contemplated.

250 THE PARENTS' MANUAL

THE PEACTICAL QUESTION

returns to us, How shall parents protect
their children from the public perils
which surround them ?

In answering this inquiry, I may first
suggest, in general, We must rely mainly
upon the pleasant home and faithful home-
training. To save our children from the
corrupting influences of bad associates,
they must be separated from them, as
much as possible. To this end, let home
be made pleasant and attractive. Throw
around it every charm, and open within
it the sources of every rational enjoy
ment.

Children must be amused ; and, if they
do not find such amusements at home as
their natures crave, they will seek them
abroad amid corrupting public influences.

There are sports and games which are
harmless in the family- circle, that would

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 251

lead to dissipation and crime if indulged
in the little club-houses and saloons where
the reckless and profane are accustomed
to congregate; and the practical ques
tion for parents to settle is, whether they
will provide these means of home-enjoy
ment for their children, or leave them to
spend their long evenings and " rainy
days " away from home-protection, and
with companions of doubtful character.
No sensible parent, it seems to me, can
long hesitate on a question so plain. It
is idle to talk of holding and restraining
these children by the force of authority
alone in such matters. It is wise to
interest them at home, and thus protect
them from the contagion of immoral
associations.

To the same end, parents should en
courage and patronize such public enter
tainments as are harmless and profitable,
that their children may be occupied, and

252 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

protected from the exciting and dissipat
ing influences of such exhibitions as are
given by u Jim Crow and Company " and
kindred troupes through the length and
breadth of our land. They pervert the
public taste and poison the morals of
every community, and cannot fail to reach
our youth whose time and attention are
not better occupied.

Social neighborhood-gatherings for the
young and the old, with their sports and
games; the lyceum, with its debating-
club and public literary and scientific
lectures, — are among the best substitutes
for the demoralizing attractions of the
outside world.

And how shall our children be pro
tected from the fearful influence of a
corrupt literature ? It is of the first
importance to cultivate in them a taste
for the solid branches and hard study.
In this way the ground will be pre-occu-

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 253

pied. The student whose time is ear
nestly devoted to the study of language,
mathematics, and the sciences, will also
be interested in history and the standard
works of English literature. He will
have no taste for the dissipating and cor
rupting novel which is thrown in his
way. It is the idle brain that craves the
excitement of fiction; it is the unoccu
pied and undisciplined mind that mur
ders time in poring over senseless
stories. If the taste is not perverted,
the time of our children will be fully
employed in profitable study and reading.
Correct habits of thought and action will
grow with their growth, and strengthen
with their strength, until they are forti
fied against the influences of a perverted
literature.

For the same purpose, parents should
organize to establish town and village
libraries, which should be selected with

22

254 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

the greatest care, for the free use of
every family. These should contain
books of reference, history, biography,
science, and literature ; books of criti
cism, travels, and reviews. From them
should be excluded all merely sensational
and immoral works of fiction. Such
libraries are useful, not only to occupy
the time that would otherwise be worse
than wasted by many, but they furnish
substantial aids to self-culture and im
provement.

Great care must also be exercised in
selecting magazine and newspaper read
ing. Among these the serpent is more
often coiled, and through them his poison
is diffused. Parents should scrupulously
exclude from their homes and their pub
lic reading-rooms all this spurious and
corrupting literature, whether found in
the monthly, weekly, or daily.

Their children will then avoid the

THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY. 255

temptation and the danger, and will be
left to feed upon more healthy diet, and
to breathe a purer atmosphere.

With these precautions and safeguards
thrown about them, they will be com
paratively safe. But the great impor
tance of moral and religious culture, to
prepare them to escape the dangerous
influences of society, cannot be over
estimated.

The chief point to be gained in the
discipline of the family is the formation of
character. But character must be built
upon principle ; and principle must draw
its vitalizing power from the pure mo
rality of the gospel. External circum
stances are important; but internal mo
tives control the will, and regulate the
life. Hence our children, to be safe in
the midst of public perils, must be "pure
in heart,1' and fully established in the
habits of right thought and action.

256 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

Human life is a battle-field, in which
every youth finds himself opposed by
hostile enemies who seek his destruction.
Without strength or experience, he is
unequal to the contest. He must first
be guarded and sustained by the vigil
ance, wisdom, and strength of those
whom God has placed over him. Pa
rental discipline must create and devel
op self-reliance, and direct self-culture.
Surrounded by every means of protec
tion, he must be taught to fight his own
battles, and gain his own victories, even
to the attainment of a noble character and
a pure life.

So may our children withstand the
corrupting and insnaring influences of
society if they are armed with " the
breastplate of righteousness," "the shield
of faith," u the helmet of salvation," and
" the sword of the Spirit, which is the
word of God."

XL

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS,

T~ TAKE it for granted that parents
-*r who read these pages feel the great
est interest in the results of family disci
pline, as applied to their own children,
to say the least. Indeed, who can con
template these results without the deep
est solicitude? And if this feeling is
cherished from the beginning, and con
stantly during the whole process of
training until the period of maturity is
reached, it will tend greatly to secure
the end in view.

I have pointed out the danger of mis
management, and the true system of
government in the family. I have at-

22* 257

258 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

tempted to make clear the duties of
parents in relation to their schools, the
system to be adopted, the outfit to be
made, the laws to be enacted and en
forced, the necessary qualifications of
teachers, and the sympathy and co-ope
ration which they have a right to expect
and claim from their employers in their
difficult and important work.

But I have not spoken particularly of
the erroneous views so prevalent in
every community as to the nature and
object of a thorough, practical educa
tion. I may, therefore, here suggest,
with a view to correct, some of these
false theories.

By many, education is regarded as
valuable only so far as it imparts certain
mechanical accomplishments. If a child
can read and write and cipher, so as to
be able to transact the ordinary business
of life, some parents think that the end

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 259

of the school is attained. Others would
add certain higher scholastic attainments,
such as drawing, painting, music, and a
smattering of two or three modern lan
guages, that their children may be liber
ally educated. Such branches as these
they suppose to be all that are necessary
for a practical and finished education.
They seem to forget that the child has
powers and sentiments, which, if unculti
vated in early life, will be stifled or per
verted so as to become useless or mis
chievous in riper years ; that his moral
and intellectual character must be formed,
and fixed habits of thought and action
established. Whatever the man should
be, or should do, must result from the
training of the boy.

These mechanical accomplishments are
proper and desirable in their place and
time, but do not constitute a practical
education.

260 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

Another prevailing error, nearly re
lated to the one just noticed, makes edu
cation to consist in acquiring knowl
edge.

It is true that knowledge, as attained
in the process of education, is a discipli
nary agency, and is indispensable to the
end in view. But it must not be mis
taken for education itself. That consists
in the development of power, and not
in the attainment of knowledge. The
popular error which I here expose as
sumes that no study is practical which
cannot at once be used. Hence, when
a solid course of disciplinary studies is
recommended, the multitude cry out
with Falstaff of honor, —

" Can honor set to a leg ? No : ... therefore I'll
none of it."

With this false notion, the study of the
higher mathematics and languages is of

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 261

no consequence to those who are to be
engaged in the common avocations of
life. They need only a little knoivledge
of arithmetic, grammar, and history, and
perhaps, in some instances, a few facts in
natural science.

The same delusion has flooded our
country with professional schools (so
called) for mere boys, who have had no
time nor opportunity for the culture ne
cessary to fit them for a course of public
instruction. Hence they are rushed
through to graduation in the shortest
possible course. The beardless boy, who
has attended one of our commercial col
leges for four short months, comes home
with his diploma, and is supposed by his
deluded father to have become a full-
grown man. He has gained some knowl
edge, it is claimed, of practical business,
and hence is educated. A.nd why do the
learned professions turn out so many

262 THE PARENTS1 MANUAL.

quacks and pettifoggers, if not from the
mistaken notion that education is the at
tainment of knowledge merely, and is
designed to fit the person for some special
business or profession ?

Under the influence of this same false
system, u Science even has turned quack
to suit the impatience and impertinence
of a money-loving and labor-saving age ;
and, extracting the quintessence of all
subjects, she has put up morals, physics,
politics, literature, yea, all things, in con
venient and portable forms, and labelled
with suitable directions ; so that the mere
child, by swallowing the diluted and fil
tered condensation, shall, in an incredibly
short time, know more than his grand
mother."

And, from this same soil of perverted
public opinion, there has sprung up a
new crop of school-books and school-sys
tems adapted to this practical age. The

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 263

old subjects are made new and attractive ;
difficult principles are simplified; hard
examples are solved ; and the highway to
learning, which used to be up the "hill
of Science," is now not only a level road,
but the journey may be taken at our lei
sure in saloon-cars. Indeed, under this
new system, it is much easier to be edu
cated than to live in ignorance.

This happy era in the book-world is
graphically described by one writer in
the following language : "The same book-
stuff is hashed and cooked in a dozen
different ways : pictures now at the top
of the page, and questions at the bottom ;
then pictures and questions reversed;
then pictures in the middle, surrounded
by a frame of crabbed-looking questions
in small type. Wonderful variety! It
furnishes big and little potatoes to-day,
and little and big potatoes to-morrow."

The end of education is the power or

264 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

art of thinking. This power is acquired,
but never inborn. It is always the price
of long-continued and patient study.
Talents, though "angel bright," and
even genius, need culture, to be edu
cated, as really as the most ordinary
intellects. The mere absorption of knowl
edge, as the sponge absorbs water, gives
no discipline ; and hence the acquiring
of knowledge is not the object to be
gained, but the development of mental
power.

The educated man has gained the
ability to control the exercises of his own
mind, to think upon a given subject
earnestly and logically, and to reason
and judge accurately and correctly. The
uneducated man has no such ability :
his thoughts are isolated and confused,
and his knowledge comparatively useless.

How, then, shall the child be educated?
There is but one method. His powers

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 265

of body, mind, and soul, are to be culti
vated and moulded into harmonious man
hood through exercise. The growth and
health of the body depend upon this
law. The blacksmith's right arm is made
strong and vigorous by constant pounding :
the skilful gymnast and the veteran sol
dier have developed and strengthened
their muscular systems by gymnastic and
military drill : the musician learns to dis
course sweet music upon the piano or
organ, or with the voice, only by long and
patient practice. These arts could never
be acquired by reading books or hearing
lectures. Mere knowledge will avail
nothing in the education of the body.

And the same law applies to mental
and moral as well as physical culture.
The child acquires the power to think by
thinking, and the power of expressing
his thoughts by reciting. Every mental
faculty is developed, and all practical

23

266 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

ability is gained, by these two processes.
If the mind is educated, study and reci
tation must be continued through many
long years.

The mushroom comes to maturity in a
single day • but the stately tree, whose
deep roots, solid trunk, and vigorous
limbs, brave the storm and the tempest,
is the growth of a century. We want no
mushroom growths in our families or
schools, or in society ; and hence I can
not tolerate that false and ruinous system
which claims that knowledge, and not dis
cipline, is the end of teaching. I cannot
advise parents to patronize such schools
as claim the ability to educate their chil
dren by a new process in a few short
months. All analogy, all reason, and all
experience, point us to the slow growth
of Nature's choicest plants as illustrating
the true theory of mental development
and the true system of education.

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 267

It matters little under what circum
stances, but in some way the mind must
be tasked and trained by patient toil and
self-denial for many years to be edu
cated.

Nor is knowledge the end of moral
culture. The practice of virtue alone
moulds and matures the good man's
character. A knowledge of the divine
law is essential as a guide to duty ; but
active obedience alone can form the habit
of well-doing, and elevate the man to the
condition of the saint.

The popular prejudice against this view
of education is based upon the error,
that no branches of study are practical
which are not brought into immediate
use. That this is an error will appear to
all who carefully examine the subject.
For instance, it is not claimed that the
gymnast will need his dumb-bells, rings,
and wands, in the duties of active life;

268 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

but he will need and use the strength
and vigor which these athletic exercises
impart at all times and everywhere. The
student of books may never find in his
business or profession any direct use
for the higher mathematics and languages
which were required of him in his course
of studies ; but he will find constant use
for the well-trained mental powers and
faculties which the study of these sub
jects has cultivated.

The study of history and literature
may not materially aid the laborer in his
struggles to gain a living for himself and
family ; but a knowledge of these branch
es will impart that intelligence and cul
ture which will elevate the man, and
prepare the citizen better to perform his
important duties. Every department of
study is practical, so far as it can culti
vate the power of thought and expres
sion, and elevate the human being to a
higher grade of civilization.

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 269

Still further : every subject of thought
and study has some practical bearing
upon every other subject. Hence, the
more accurate the investigation and the
more extensive the knowledge upon col
lateral topics, the better fitted is any
man for the practical use of what he
must know to succeed in any given de
partment. Common arithmetic is inti
mately connected with the higher branch
es of mathematics ; the sciences have no
well-defined lines of separation ; and the
languages, both living and dead, have
one common bond of union.

A practical education, therefore, im
plies not only extensive culture, but ex
tensive and varied knowledge ; and the
more extensive and thorough, the more
practical it will be.

There are in the world two classes of
men, — thinkers and doers. The thinkers
are educated : the mere doers are unedu-

23*

270 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

cated. The one class are men of thought ;
the other, men of limited knowledge. But
the educated are far superior to the
uneducated. Thinkers are the masters
in every department of life, and have
been in every age. Patient thinkers
have made all the discoveries, wrought
out the inventions, and created the sci
ence, of the world. Indeed, we owe to
these men all the practical advantages
that crown our highest civilization.

The doers are entirely dependent upon
the thinkers for the knowledge they have
of their trade or profession. The undis
ciplined yeomanry cultivate the soil ; but
men of culture have created and brought
within their reach the science and litera
ture of agriculture. Common sailors can
navigate the ship ; but the science of
navigation and the invention of the mari
ner's compass are the work of accurate
thinkers, who have trained their minds

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 271

by earnest study to habits of thought
and investigation.

The common impression is, that men
who have devoted themselves exclusively
to abstract study are not practical men.
As mathematicians or chemists or philoso
phers, they seem not to have done much
for the world; but, without their think
ing, there could have been no doing.

Bridget makes our bread ; but who
discovered and taught her to apply the
chemical principles by which good bread
can be made ?

The unlettered engineer may run the
steam-car with marvellous skill and suc
cess : but who invented the engine ? and
who discovered the laws of steam, and
the application of this motive power to
machinery ?

The common laborer may manufacture
and set up the telegraph, and stretch the
wires over hill and dale ; limited knowl-

272 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

edge enables the mere youth to work the
keys, and communicate thought with the
rapidity of lightning from town to town
and city to city, and even through ocean's
dark caverns to distant continents : but
who first discovered the chemical laws
by which this wonderful art is made pos
sible? and who chained the lightning
of heaven, to become the fleet messenger
and obedient servant of man ? Profound
thinkers have done all these wonderful
things. Doers have only employed the
knowledge and power which thinkers
have placed within their reach.

Who, then, are the practical men in
practical life, if not such men as Watt,
Franklin, Fulton, Stephenson, Newton, and
Morse ? Yet many doers in every com
munity affect to despise such thinkers,
and to regard them as of little conse
quence in the world. But, as a matter of
fact, without the results of the study and

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 273

toil of such men, common men could do
nothing.

Thinkers, after all, are recognized, and
in a measure appreciated, even by their
critics. They do them homage : they go
to them for light in the hour of dark
ness, for guidance in prosperity, and
for protection in danger. From the very
nature of the case, the thinkers are to
the doers as masters to servants ; and
must forever remain so, unless all shall
become educated.

If, then, it is the province of education
to impart the power of thinking, it must
follow that all who have not acquired
that power are not educated. And just
here comes in the practical suggestion,
that parents should establish such a sys
tem of instruction, and adopt such a
course of elementary training, in the
family and in the school, as will trans
form all their children into thinkers.

274 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

This would, in one generation, destroy
the oligarchy which exercises the master
ship over the masses in every commu
nity; not by crushing out the thinkers
who have elevated society to its present
condition of civilization, but by educat
ing and elevating all to the condition of
the few. If knowledge is power only to
those who are able to employ it, we shall
increase that power tenfold or a hundred
fold by adding to it the ability to think.

Education, as here defined, is not for
the rich, nor for the poor; not for the
mechanics, nor for the farmers; not for
the clergy, nor for the laymen : it is for
all. All our children should acquire the
art of thinking. Other attainments and
accomplishments without this are of
comparatively little importance. But a
well-arranged and thorough disciplinary
course of study will necessarily impart
the desired intelligence and refinement.

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 275

The prevailing error in regard to the
nature of education has led many par
ents to believe that its only object is to
fit their children directly for some trade,
art, office, or profession. But thorough
mental discipline is alike important for
all, and should be secured without special
reference to their future employment or
profession. When thus educated, they
will be fitted for professional instruction
under masters in merchandise, farming,
engineering, law, medicine, divinity, elo
quence, poetry, or painting, as the case
may be.

And here we meet another popular
error; viz., that our children may be
moulded by education into fitness for any
sphere of active life as clay in the hands
of the potter is moulded into any form.
With this false view, the impression has
prevailed that all the young men who
can pursue a liberal course of study (and

276 THE PARENTS9 MANUAL.

many who have only limited culture)
must enter one of the learned professions.
The deluded father is anxious that all his
sons should follow in his footsteps, and
desires that each should become what
he is, — a mechanic, farmer, lawyer, doc
tor, or clergyman, as the case may be.

And is not this the reason why we
have so many unskilful mechanics, indif
ferent farmers, and floating professional
men, who have failed to sustain them
selves in the positions they have under
taken to occupy ? All men and women
are fitted by their Creator for some sphere
of usefulness. There is some position in
which every one could achieve success,
and secure honor to himself and profit to
others, if he could only find it. How,
then, shall our children find their places
in the world ? This is the practical and
important question to be answered.

First of all, parents should see JLO it

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 277

that their children are thoroughly edu
cated. Every one needs discipline, what
ever sphere in life he is to occupy. Then
he should be left free to consult his own
tastes, preferences, and peculiarities ; and
should be advised only in view of his
manifest fitness for the position he is
likely to select.

No parent can know whether his son is
adapted to the farm, the work-shop, the
pulpit, the forum, the sick-room, or the
school-room, as well as the son knows
himself. Many a failure in life has re
sulted from parental advice and dictation,
or forced professional training. Let all
learn wisdom from such failures; and,
while they aim to give their children
every possible opportunity for culture
and improvement, let their own taste
and better judgment mark out their fu
ture life-work.

How much more honorable and profit-

24

278 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

able would be these very mechanical arts
which clothe and feed us, if all doers
were also independent thinkers, and each
especially adapted to act the part as
signed him !

Do we realize how soon the generation
of children who are now being trained
in our families and schools will be called
into active life? These children will
come up to act the part of citizens, par
ents, officers, counsellors, trustees, school-
committees, examiners, and perhaps law
yers, commanders of armies and navies.
They will act in a thousand ways
where the interests, character, and lives
of men will depend solely upon their
power of thought, and their adaptation
to the places they occupy in society.

Who can estimate the loss of time, the
perversion of talent, and the waste of ma
terial, from the want of ability to think
and act with wisdom and promptness ?

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 279

How many estates have been ruined
and characters blasted, how much good
influence has been paralyzed, how many
lives lost, and how many governments
overthrown, simply from the lack of men
tal culture, and from the misdirection of
mental power !

The end of teaching is to fit our chil
dren to achieve the highest success in life.
No parent can be indifferent to this re
sult ; and hence the wisest means should
be employed, and the greatest care taken,
to secure it.

A thorough practical education implies
the cultivation of the habit of fixed at
tention. This is not only a condition
of success, but the result of successful
mental discipline. The habit of perse
verance in the midst of trials and disap
pointments, and of patience to endure
the hardships of life, are acquired also in
this rigid school of discipline. The taste,

280 THE PARENTS' MANUAL.

imagination, memory, and judgment are
cultivated in the very process of disci
plinary training ; and the conscience,
developed under the influence of divine
truth, is made the ruling power of the
mind and heart. With such an education,
our children would be thoroughly fur
nished for their life-work : without it, we
can leave them no inheritance that will
secure their future success and useful
ness.

One more thought in this connection,
and I close these chapters upon the train
ing of the family.

The children whom the parents of this
generation have intrusted to their care
and instruction stand at the opening of
the most eventful day, and in the midst
of the most stirring scenes, in the history
of our world. Let the scenes of the
past and the hopeful prophecies of the
future encourage us to prepare thc>m, by

MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS. 281

solid mental and moral culture, for the
duties and responsibilities of opening
manhood and womanhood. With a mind
thus trained to the defence and imbued
with the love of truth, they will go forth
to guide the storm, and gather up its
mingled elements, for the redemption of
man and the glory of God.

24*

INDEX.

Abuse of gentle means, 40.

Activity of children natural and necessary, 69.

Age to be sent to school, 140, 142.

Apparatus, school, important, 167, 169.

Aptness to govern and teach possessed by some, wanting
in others, 28, 181, 182, 183.

Art of thinking, the end of education, 264.

Authority : none doubt the propriety of enforcing to
protect from danger, 20; the only basis of family
government, divinely established, 44 ; always the con
trolling power, 46 ; mild and gentle in its more effec
tive aspects, 47; must be absolute, 65; must be en
forced, 66 ; a natural gift, 182.

Babes, home school better than public for, 141.

Bible in schools, 204-208.

Blackboard, 168.

Boarding round, 217, 218, 219.

Book of Nature to be studied by children, 121.

Bribing, method of spoiling children, 41.

Cabinet for schools, 169.

Certainty, more than severity, makes punishment ef
fectual, 51. .

283

284 INDEX.

Children: love for parents, moulded by tlieir influence,
13 ; in the garden and cultivated field, 122 ; in the
orchard and wood, 123 ; on the farm, 124 ; with the
animals, 125 ; at school, 138 ; in society, 235.

Childlike, the more, the better qualified the parent to
govern, 55.

Character and habits, 72.

China plate, illustration, 193.

Christianity, great truths of, should be taught diligently
to children : what truths, 109 ; how impressed, 110;
how taught, 112.

Commendation as important as punishment, 55 ; example
of, 56 ; the mother never makes mistakes in one in
stance, 57.

Common sense in teachers, 174.

Compulsory attendance, 209, 210 ; laws of Germany, 211 ;
consistent under republican government, 212, 213,
214.

Consequence of no government, 29 ; misgovernment, 30.

Constancy of attendance, 227.

Corporal punishment, 06.

Corrupt associations, 242, 243, 244 ; literature, 245.

Dangers, special, 242.

Dictionary, English unabridged, in every school, 168.

Discipline implies much more than government, 19.

Dishonest, 81.

Disobedience must never be rewarded, 50.

Disposition of teachers cheerful and hopeful, 175.

Doing right not natural to children, 55.

Duty, parental, to bring every child under authority, 21 ;
begin early to enforce obedience, 22 ; secure prompt
submission to each separate command, 23.

INDEX. 285

Education : as defined, is for all, 274 ; not to fit for any

special trade or profession, 275, 276.
Efficiency, parental, 44.
Emulation, 79.
Energy of character necessary in the teacher, 184.

Family planted by God's own hand, 10 ; is a school, 15.
Family government both an art and a science, 27 ; only

one mode, Dr. Edwards, 69.
Female teachers, 194.

Fear of punishment as a motive to obedience, 39.
Fickle method of spoiling children, 31.
Fidelity of pupils : parents should encourage it, 229.
Flattery of children not recommended, 57.
Flogging method of spoiling children, 37.
Fun and frolic essential to childhood, 59.

Gentle measures : early and wisely employed, supersede
physical force, 65 ; importance of, cannot be over-esti
mated, 68.

Golden rules in family discipline, 36, 37.

Good manners, 86 ; importance of, 87 ; how to be taught,
88, 89 ; illustration, 90.

Graded schools, 149 ; advantages of, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155,
156.

Happy such parents and such children, 25.

Harmless indulgence, 75.

Home of childhood, 9, 10.

Home geography, 127 ; how to teach, 128.

Home instruction made practical, 131.

Home lessons made agreeable, 135.

286 INDEX.

Home life should be free and active, 136.

Home school necessary, 131.

Home school of selfishness, 76.

Home training of vast importance to the race, 11, 116.

Holy Bible only source of religious truth, 111.

Impulsive method of spoiling children, 33.

Inconvenience, privation, or pain, should attend every
act of transgression, 50.

Infancy, helpless, must be protected and instructed, 16 ;
its mind a clean canvas to be inscribed with charac
ters of good or evil, ] 7.

Infidelity an element of decay, 106.

Influences of society of three kinds, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240.

Indulgence consistent with authority, 48 ; without control
ruinous, 49.

Industry, 84.

Insubordination of the age, 27 ; more the fault of parents
than children, 45.

Instinctive, filial obedience is not, 44.

Integrity, 81.

Intellectual culture, 115 ; at home not so formal and strict
as at school, 135.

Justice, right, and duty, the child knows nothing of with
out instruction, 61.

Kindness a powerful disciplinary agency: should always

accompany reproof, 53 ; in looks and words has magic

power, 119.
Knowlege : of primary branches, 187 ; it is not c ^ucation,

260, 261, 262, 263; neither physical nor mental, 265;

nor moral, 267.

INDEX. 287

Lessons, first practical, illustrations of, 119.

Library, public, 169.

Love of children in teachers, 178; of their work, 180.

Manners and morals, 87.
Manliness of teachers, 192.

Mechanical accomplishments not education, 258.
Mind not a receptacle, but an activity, 97.
Miscellaneous suggestions, 257.
Mismanagement, parental, 27, 72, 73.
Mixed schools, 152.
Money question, 99.
Moral suasion, when proper, 40.

Mother, the central light, the honored queen, the mould
ing power, hi every family, 9.
Mushroom growth, 266.

Nature, phenomena of, 134; method of, 142.
Normal training for teachers, 187.

Obedience must be taught the child: is wholly the work

of education, 45, 46; must be enforced, 67.
Objects, not books, most needed in childhood, 117; world

of, 139.
Observing faculty first of all to be disciplined, 116; how,

130, 131, 133.
Opportunity of parents to begin the work of education,

118.

Parents: ordained guardians and rulers of children, 12, 13;
for what train them, 14; are their teachers, 15; should
not provoke, 70; relations to school-teachers, 215, 216,

288 INDEX.

217; sometimes interfere with, 221; should sustain,
222; too often listen to complaints, 223; specific duties
in relation to the school, 227.

Paying children for being good a bounty on impudence
and insubordination, 42.

Permanency of teachers, 198.

Persuasive method of spoiling children, 39.

Political economy: how taught to children, 99; the better
way, 102.

Poverty sometimes better than wealth for a family of
children, 94, 95.

Promptness and firmness in correcting faults, 62.

Practical life, 98 ; question, 133, 250.

Practical education, 258-281.

Profession, choice of, 277, 278.

Public schools and a free State, 201.

Punctuality of attendance, 227.

Punishment, merited, must be certain to follow every act
of transgression, 50; should be the natural conse
quence of crime, 51 ; should be adapted to the offence,
prompt, deliberate, and thorough, 71.

Qualifications of teachers, necessary, 170.

Question, the practical, 250, 251, 252, 253, 254, 255, 256.

lleasons for a command: when to be given, 47; when not
to be given, 48.

Reason and judgment: not early developed, GO; unrelia
ble in children, and must be under parental control,
Gl.

Recapitulation, 258.

Recitation-room, how to be furnished, 161.

INDEX. 289

Religious training, 105; the first duty of parents, 107.
Responsibility, parental, 12; great and fearful, cannot be
evaded, 18; does not cease \vitli childhood, 140.

Sabbath, how to be kept by children, 113, 114.

School: the expansion of the family, 138; a public necessi
ty, 139.

Schoolhouses : sites, 157; lighting and heating, 162; appa
ratus for, 167.

Scolding method of spoiling children, 34.

Self -culture, 96.

Self-reliance, 92; how taught, 93; both the means and
condition of success, 97.

Selfishness, 73, 79, 81.

"Spare the rod, and spoil the child," 37.

Spoiling children, common methods, 31.

Sympathy: a powerful aid to obedience, 53; to encourage
application, 118; parents with teachers, 225.

System of organization, district, town, 144, 145, 14(5, 147,
148, 149, 150.

Teachers: in place of parents, 138; should be competent,

169; allowed to manage their own schools, 220.
Theories of education, false, 258, 259, 260.
Thermometer in the schoolroom, 168.
Tliinkers and doers, 269, 270, 271, 272, 273.
Thirst for knowledge inherent in childhood, 117.
Threatening method of spoiling children, 37.
Truth, truthfulness: what is it to the child? 62, 63.

Vanity, 77.

Ventilation of schoolhouses, 163, 164, 165, 166.
25

290 INDEX.

Views of life, perverted, false views of truth, 247, 248,

249.

Vigor, physical, necessary for a teacher, 172.
Virtue, public, the great lesson of American citizenship:

the Bible its source, 204.
Visits, parents to their schools, 231 ; benefits of, 232, 233.

Well-balanced mind, 185.
Welfare, personal, of our children, 108.
Word-system, 143.

Woman: the ordained teacher of the race, 195; importance
of her education, 197.

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