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Digitized by VjOOQIC

THE LOEB CLASSICAL LIBRARY

EDITED BY
E. CAPPS, Ph.D., LL.D. T. B. PAGE, Litt.D. W. H. D. ROUSE, Litt.U.

PLAUTUS

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Digitized by VjOOQIC

6t?**t ivO •< ••'''

PL AU T U S

WITH AN ENGUSH TRANSLATION BY
PAUL NIXON

PROFS980R OF LATIK, BOWDOIN COLLBOK, MAINS

IN FIVE VOLUMES
II

CASINA

THE CASKET COMEDY

CURCULIO

EPIDICUS

THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

LONDON : WILLIAM HEINEMANN
NEW YORK : G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS

MCMXVII

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Urov. Librofy. UC Sonto Crw 19t6

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/^/^

THE GREEK ORIGINALS AND DATES OF^
THE PLAYS IN THE SECOND VOLUME

The Canina is an adaptation of the KXrjpovfjLevoL of
Diphilus.i There is no evidence as to when Diphilus
produced this comedy. As in the cases of the Cur-
cuUoy EpidicuSy and Menaechmi, the date of Plautus's
presentation of the Cctsina is unknown.

One of the fragments ^ of Menander is closely
rendered in the Ctslellaria^ \ the Cistellaria, there-
for, may well be an adaptation of the play from
which this fragment comes. The date of the Greek
play cannot be determined, but the date of the
adaptation is one of the few Plautine dates which
are very definitely established. Auxilium's ad-
monition '' ut vobis victi Poeni poenas sufFerant " *
shows that the Cistellaria was produced at the close
of the second Punic war, 202 b.c.

The only hint as to the authorship of the original
of the Curculio is Leaena*s declaration that wine is
her telinum, Pliny the Elder, speaking of telinum,^
says : '* Hoc multo erat celeberrimum Menandri
poetae comici aetate.'* We may choose to imagine
that he found the word ryKivov in Menander and
that the Curculio, the only play in which the word

1 Cas. Prol. 31-32. * Menander, 568. » Cist. 89-93.
* Gist. 202. » Pliny, N.H. xiii. 13.

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THE GREEK ORIGINALS AND DATES OF

ielinum is used^ is an adaptation of a comedy
of Menander's. The date of the Greek original
depends upon the date of the siege of Sicyon ^
referred to by Curculio and upon the date of the
campaigns 2 in which Therapontigonus is said to
liave p>articipated. There was a siege of Sicyon in
813 B.C. and during the years 316-312 there were
eastern campaigns which make many of the tales of
the Captain's battles sound geographically plausible.
The original of the Curculio, therefore, may very well
date from the period shortly after the establishment
of peace between Antigonus, Seleucus, Ptolemy, and
Cassander (311 b.c.) when soldiers of fortune were
returning from the east laden with booty and
braggadocio.

The original of the Epidicus is unknown, but the
date of that original may be reasonably well esta-
blished by the fact that the plot hinges on. an
Athenian campaign against Thebes, seemingly that
of 293 or of 290 B.C. The Greek play was probably
produced, then, in 292 or 289 b.c.

Athenaeus' states that only in the comedies of
Poseidippus does one find slave cooks. Cylindrus, in
the Menaechmi, is a slave cook. Furthermore, we
know that Poseidippus wrote a play called "O/ioioi.
These facts are our sole data as to the authorship of
the original of the Menaechmi. As to the date of
the Greek play, the chief clue is Erotium*s list of

1 Cure. 394-396. * Cure. 442 seq.

• Athenaeus, xiv. 658.
vi

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THE PLAYS IN THE SECOND VOLUME

the rulers of Sicily ^ where " Hiero nunc est." This
list was almost certainly in the original^ for it is next
to impossible ^ that the Menaeckmi was presented in
Rome previous to the death of Hiero in 215 b.c.
Inasmuch as a list of Hiero*s supposed predecessors
would be most appropriate if Hiero had just come
into power, it is likely that the Greek original was
produced about 275 or 270 b.c.

1 Men. 409 seq.

2 Cp. Hueffrier, De Plauti Conwediarmn Exemplis, p. 48.

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SOME ANNOTATED EDITIONS OF PLAYS
IN THE SECOND VOLUME

Epidiciis, Gray ; Cambridge, University Press, 1 893.

Menaechmif Brix ; oth edition, revised by Nie-
nieyer; Leipzig, Teubner, (1866) 1912.

Menaeckmi, Fowler; Boston, Sanborn, 1890.

Menaechmi, Wagner; Cambridge, Deighton, Bell
& Co. ; London, G. Bell & Sons, 1878.

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CONTENTS

Casina P^g^ I

II.

Cistellaria, or The Casket Comedy 1 1 1

III.

Cureulio IS.')

IV.

Epidicus 27 1

Menaechmi, or The Two Menaech muses 36.S

Index 489

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CASINA

VOL. II.

Digitized by VjOOQIC

ARGVMENTVM

Conservam uxorem duo conservi expetunt.
Alium senex allegata alium filius.
Senem adiuvat sors, verum decipitur dolis.
Ita ei subicitur pro puella servolus
Nequam, qui dominum mulcat atque vilicum.
Adulescens ducit civem Casinam cognitam.

PERSONAE

OLYMPIO \

} SERVI
CHALINVS J

CLEOSTRATA MATRONA

PARDALISCA ANCILLA

MYRRHINA MATRONA

LYS1DAMV8 ^

> SENES
ALCESIMVS j

COCVS

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ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY

Two slaves are bent on marrjing a slave girl in
the same family as themselves. One is egged on
by his old master, the other by his master s son.
An appeal to the lots favours the old man^ but he
is tricked out of his triumph. He has palmed off
upon him, in place of the girl, a graceless rogue
of a slave who gives the head of the household a
drubbing, and his bailiff*, too. Casina proves to be
a freeborn Athenian and becomes the young
man's wife.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Olyhpio, a slave, haiUff of Lysidamus.
Chalinus, slave of Lysidamtis, orderly to his son,
Cleostrata, wife ofLysidantus,
Pardalisca, her maid,
Myrrhina, wife of Akesimus.
Lysidamus, an old gentleman of Athens,
Alcesimus, his friend,
A cook.

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PROLOGVS

Salvere iubeo spectatores optumos,
fidem qui facitis maxumi^ et vos Fides,
si verum dixi, signum clarum date mihi^
ut vos mi esse aequos iam inde a principio sciam.

Qui utuntur vino vetere sapientis puto
et qui libenter veteres spectant fabulas ;
atque antiqua opera et verba cum vobis plaeent,
aequom est placere ante alias veteres fabulas ; .
nam nunc novae quae prodeunt comoediae
multo sunt nequiores quam nummi novi. 10

Nos postquam populi rumore intelleximus
studiose expetere vos Plautinas fabulas^
antiquam eius edimus comoediam^
quam vos probastis qui estis in senioribus.
nam iuniorum qui sunt non norunt^ scio ;
verum ut cognoscant dabimus operam sedulo.
haec cum primum acta est, vicit omnis fabulas.
ea tempestate flos poetarum fuit,
qui nunc abierunt hinc in communem locum,
sed tamen absentes prosunt pro praesentibus. 20

Vos omnes opera magno esse oratos volo,
benigne ut operam detis ad nostrum gregem.
eicite ex animo curam atque alienum aes^^
ne quis formidet flagitatorem suom.
ludi sunt, ludus datus est argentariis ;

^ Leo notes a lacuna of two syllables here: ex animo
curam atqut alienum aea eicite Schoell.

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Scene : — Athens. A street, in which are the houses
of Lysidamus and Alcesimvs,

PROLOGUE

Greetings, ye worthiest of spectators, who hold
good faith in the highest honour, and. Good Faith,
you. If I have told the truth, give me a clear
sign of it, so that I may know from the very
outset that you are fair-minded toward me. (waits
hopefully for applause)

Those be wise men, in my opinion, who take
old wine and those who love to see old plays.
Yes, liking as you do the works and words of
ancient days, you should like old plays better
than all others ; for, really, the new comedies that
are produced nowadays are much more worthless
than our new coins.

We actors, having learned from popular rumour
that it is the plays of Plautus you keenly desire,
present an ancient comedy of his which has
already been approved by you older men. To the
younger, I am sure, it is unfamiliar ; but it shall
be our earnest endeavour to make them familiar
with it. This play, when it was first presented,
. surpassed all others. In that era lived the garland
of poets who have now departed to the common
bourne. Yet absent though they be, they profit
us as though present.

Now let me earnestly entreat you all to accord
our company your kind attention. Away with
care and thought of debts; let no man dread a
dun ! The games are on ; a game is on (chuckling)

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

tranquillum est^ Alcedonia sunt circum forum.

ratione utuntur^ ludis poscunt nemiixem^

secundum ludos reddunt autem nemini.

aures vocivae si sunt^ animum advortite ;

comoediai nomen dare vobis volo. 30

Clerumenoe vocatur haec comoedia

graece, latine Sortientes. Deiphilus

banc graece scripsit, post id rursum denuo

latine Plautus cum latranti nomine.

Senex hie maritus habitat ; ei est filius^
is una cum patre in illisce habitat aedibus.
est ei quidam servos, qui in morbo cubat,
immo hercle vero in lecto, ne quid mentiar ;
is servos, sed abhinc annos factum est sedecim,
quom conspicatust primulo crepusculo 40

puellam exponi. adit extemplo ad mulierem
quae illam exponebat, orat ut eam det sibi ;
exorat, aufert. detulit recta domum,
dat erae suae, orat ut eam curet, educet.
era fecit, e^ucavit magna industria,
quasi si esset ex se nata, non multo secus.

Postquam ea adolevit ad eam aetatem, ut viris
placere posset, eam puellam bic senex
amat efflictim, et item contra filius.
nunc sibi uterque contra legiones parat, 50

paterque filiusque, clam alter alterum.

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CASINA

for the bankers^ too; all is tranquil, the forum
sunk in halcyon repose. The bankers are cal-
culating fellows — when they press a man it is no
{chuckUng agairi) game ; after the games, however,
they repay no man. If your ears be empty, turn
your attention hither; I wish to give you the
name of our comedy. Its Greek title is CLERU-
MENOE, in Latin, SORTIENTES. Diphilus
wrote the play in Greek, and later Plautus, he
of the barking^ name, gave us a fresh version
of it in Latin.

An old gentleman, married, lives here ; he has
a son, and this son lives in that house there
(pointing to Lysidamuss house), together with his
father. The old gentleman has a certain slave,
who is lying in sickness — ^no, no, heavens, no I
\ymg in bed, to be quite precise. This slave —
it was sixteen years ago, though, when just at
break of day he caught sight of a baby girl being
abandoned. Up he goes at once to the woman
who was abandoning the child and begs her to let
him have it; he prevails upon her and takes it
off*. He carried it straight home, gave it to his
mistress, and begged her to care for it, to bring it
up. She did so, brought it up with great pains,
pretty much the same as if it were her own
daughter.

After this foundling had arrived at such an age
as to make her attractive to men, the old man
here {pointing to Lysidamuss house) fell madly in
love with her, and, on the other hand, sp did his
son. And now the pair of them, father and son,
are mustering their opposing legions, each without

^ According to Paulus, dogs with broad, flapping oars
were called plauti,

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

pater adlegavit vilicum, qui posceret

sibi istanc uxorem ; is sperat, si ei sit data^

sibi fore paratas clam uxorem exeubias foris.

filius is autem armigerum adlegavit suom^

qui sibi earn uxorem poscat ; seit, si id impetret,

futurum quod amat intra praesepis suas.

senis uxor sensit virum amori operam dare,

propterea una consentit cum filio.

ille autem postquam filium sensit suom 60

eandem illam amare et esse impedimento sibi^

hinc adulescentem peregre ablegavit pater ;

sciens ei mater dat operam absenti tamen.

is, ne exspectetis, hodie in hac comoedia

in urbem non redibit, Plautus noluit,

pontem interrupit, qui erat ei in itinere.

Sunt hie, inter se quos nunc credo dicere :
^^ quaeso hercle, quid istuc est ? serviles nuptiae ?
servin uxorem ducent aut poseent sibi ?
novom attulerunt, quod fit nusquam gentium." 70

at ego aio id fieri in Graecia et Carthagini,
et hie in nostra terra ^ in Apulia ;
maioreque opere ibi serviles nuptiae
quam liberales etiam curari solent.
id ni fit, mecum pignus si quis volt dato
in urnam mulsi, Poenus dum index siet
vel G.raecus adeo, vel mea causa Apulus.
quid nunc ? nihil agitis ? sentio, nemo sitit.

Revortar ad illam puellam expositiciam :
quam servi summa vi sibi uxorem expetunt, 80

^ Corrupt (Leo) : in terra AptUia Lindsay.
8

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CASINA

the other's knowledge. The father has commis-
sioned his bailiff to ask the girl in marriage ; he
hopes that if the bailiff does get her^ he himself
will have waiting for him, unbeknown to his wife,
a night watchman's berth away from home. The
son, for his part, has commissioned his orderly to
ask her in marriage ; he knows that if the orderly
should obtain her, he himself will have the object
of his affections inside his own stall. The old
man's spouse has discovered that her husband is
engaged in a love affair, and therefore espouses
her son's cause. The father, however, discovering
his son to be in love with that same girl and in
his way, has sent the young fellow abroad ; but
absent though he is, he still has the support of his
canny mother. He will not return to the city to-
day—do not expect him — during the course of
this comedy. Plautus would not have it so— he
broke down a bridge that lay on the youth's route.

There are some here who, I suppose, are now
saying to each other : " What is all this, for the
love of heaven.^ A slave wedding? Slaves to
take wives or propose marriage ? Something new,
this — something that happens nowhere on earth ! "
But I say it does happen in Greece and at Car-
thage, and here in our own country in Apulia ; it
is the regular thing there to make more of slaves'
weddings than even of citizens'. If this is not so,
let someone bet me a bowl of wine and honey if
he likes — provided the referee be a Carthaginian,
yes, or a Greek, or an Apulian, for all I care.
\pauses) Well now ? No takers ? I understand :
no one is thirsty.

To return to that foundlingess : this girl whom
the slaves are making every effort to marry will

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ea invenietur et pndica et libera^
ingenua Atheniensis^ neque quicquam stupri
faciet profecto in hac quidem comoedia.
mox hercle vero^ post transactam fabulam^
argentum si quis dederit^ ut ego suspicor^
ultro ibit nuptum> non manebit auspices.

Tantum est. valetc, bene rem gerite et vincite
virtute vera, quod fecistis antidhac.

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CASINA

prove to be both chaste and freebom, the daughter
of an Athenian citizen^ and not a bit of immodesty
will she be guilty of — I mean, of course, not in
this comedy. But later, though, after the play is
done, good Lord ! let someone give her money,
and I have a suspicion she will plunge into matri-
mony without waiting for witnesses, (about to go)
Bnough. Fare ye well, and prosper and win
the victory, through very valour, as heretofore.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ACTVS I

OL Non mihi licere meam rem me solum^ ut volo^

loqui atque cogitare, sine ted arbitro ? 90

quid tu> malum^ me sequere ?

ChaL Quia certum est mihi^

quasi umbra^ quoquo tu ibis, te semper sequi ;
quin edepol etiam si in crueem vis pergere,
sequi decretumst. dehine eonicito ceterum,
possisne necne clam me sutelis tuis
praeripere Casinam uxorem, proinde ut postulas.

OL Quid tibi negotist mecum ?

Chal, Quid ais, impudens ?

quid in urbe reptas, vilice baud magni preti ?

01 Lubet.

Chal, Quin ruri es in praefectura tua ?

quin potius quod legatum est tibi negotium, 100

id euras atque urbanis rebus te apstines ?
hue mihi venisti sponsam praereptum meam.
abi rus, abi dierectus tuam in provinciam.

OL Chaline, non sum oblitus ofiicium meum ;

praefeci ruri recte qui euret tamen.
12

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CASINA

ACT I

ENTER Olympio from L^iidamus'g housb^ followed
BY ChaUnus,

{striding angrily back and forth, ChaUnus always at
his heels) Can't I be allowed to talk and think
over my own affairs by myself, as I want, without
you spjdng on me? What the devil are you
following me for?

(cheerfully) Because I have made up my mind to
follow you, follow you always, the same as your
shadow, wherever you go. Why, by Jove, even
if you want to go on to the gallows-tree, Fm
resolved to follow you ! So you figure it out for
yourself, then, whether or not you can play your
sly tricks on me and capture Casina as your wife,
as you count on doing.
What business have you got with me ?
{growing warm) What's that, you cheeky rascal ?
And what are you slinking around in the city for,
you trumpery bailiff?
(coolly) Because I choose to.

{losing control of himself) Why aren't you at the
farm, in your own dominion? Why don't you
choose to tend to the business you're in charge of
and leave city concerns alone ? You've come here
to make off with my bride-to-be. Back to the
farm, back to your own province, and be damned
to you !

(now master of the situation) I have not forgotten
my duties, Chalinus ; I lefl a manager at the farm
who will attend to its affairs properly, despite my

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ego hue quod veni in urbem si impetravero,

uxorem ut istam ducam^ quam tu deperis,

bellam et tenellam Casinam, eonservam tuam,

quando ego earn mecum rus uxorem abduxero,

run incubabo usque in praefectura mea. 110

Chal, Tun illam ducas ? hercle me suspendio,
quam tu eius potior fias^ satiust mortuom.

01, Mea praedast ilia ; proin tu te in laqueum induas.

Chal, Ex sterculino effosse, tua illaec praeda sit ?

01. Scies hoc ita esse.

Chal, Vae tibi.

01, Quot te modis,

si vivo, habebo in nuptiis miserum meis.

Chal, Quid tu mihi facies ?

01, Egone quid faciam tibi ?

primum omnium huie lucebis novae nuptae facem ;

postilla, ut semper, improbus nihilique eris ;

post id loeorum quando ad villam veneris, 120

dabitur tibi amphora una et una semita,

fons unus, unum ahenum et octo dolia :

quae nisi erunt semper plena, ego te implebo flagris^

ita te aggerunda curvom aqua faciam probe,

ut postilena possit ex te fieri.

post autem ervi nisi tu acervom ederis

aut quasi lumbricus terram^ quod te postules

gustare quicquam, numquam ed^)ol ieiunium

ieiunumst aeque atque ego te ruri reddibo.

post id, qupm lassus fueris et famelicus, ISO

noctu ut condigne te cubes curabitur.

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CASINA

absence. As for me^ once I get what I came here
to the city for and marry that girl you dote on —
{fondly) that sweety soft little Casina that works
here with you — when I've taken her off to the
farm with me as my wife, I'll stick like a sitting
hen to that farm, {grinning maliciously) in my own
dominion.

Chal, You marry her — you ? Good Lord ! Td rather
hang myself than let you get her !

01 She's my prize^ mine ; you might as well fit the
noose to your neck^ my man.

ChaL You — dug from the dung heap ! She's your prize,
is she }

OL So you will see.

ChaL Curse you !

OL {chuckling) Oh, the ways Til torment you — as sure
as I'm alive — at my wedding !

ChaL You ? What'll you do to me ?

OL What'U I do to you ? First of all, I'll make you
torch-bearer to this bride of mine. After that you'll
be the same worthless good-for-nothing as always ;
and subsequently when you come to the villa you
shall be provided with just one pitcher and one
path, one spring, one kettle, and — eight big casks :
and unless those casks are always full, I'll give
you your fill— of welts. I'll make you carry water
till you have such a beautiful crook in your back
that they can use you for a horse's crupper. Yes,
and furthermore, when it comes to your wanting
a bit of food, you shall either feed on the fodder-
stack, or on dirt like a worm, or, by the Lord, I'll
starve you thinner than Starvation's self at that
farm ! And then at night, when you're all fagged
out and famishing, we'll see you're supplied with
the sleeping quarters you deserve.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Chal, Quid facies ?

OL Concludere in fenestram firmiter,

unde auscultare possis quom ego illam ausculer.

quom mi ilia dicet ^^ mi animule^ mi Olympic,

mea vita, mea mellilla, mea festivitas,

sine tuos ocellos deosculer, voluptas mea,

sine amabo ted amari, meus festus dies,

mens pullus passer, mea columba, mi lepus,"

quom mi haec dicentur dicta, tum tu, furcifer,

quasi mus, in medio pariete versabere. • 1 40

nunc ne tu te mihi respondere postules,

abeo intro. taedet tui sermonis.

Chal, Te sequor.

hie quid em pol certo nil ages sine med arbitro.

ACTVS II

Cleost, Obsignate cellas, referte anulum ad me.

ego hue transeo in proxumum ad meam vicinam.
vir si quid volet me, facite hinc accersatis.
Par, Prandium iusserat

senex sibi parari.
Cleost, St, tace atque abi ; neque paro

neque hodie coquetur,
quando is mi et filio

advorsatur suo
animi amorisque causa sui, 1 50

flagitium illud, hominis. ego ilium fame, ego ilium
siti,

maledictis, malefactis amatorem ulciscar,
16

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CASINA

CM. WhaVU you do ?

OL You shall be fastened tight in the window-frame
where you can listen while I'm kissing my Casina.
And when she says to me : {in languishing accents)
" Oh you little darlings Olympio dearie^ my life,
my little honey boy^ joy of my soul^ let me kiss
and kiss those sweet eyes of yours, precious ! Do,
do let me love you, my day of delight, my little
sparrow, my dove, my rabbit ! "—when she is
saying these soft things to me, then you'll wriggle,
you hangdog, you, wriggle like a mouse, in the
middle of the wall there, (turning away) Now
you needn't reckon on making any reply; I'm
going inside. I'm sick of talking with you.

Chal, I'll follow you. By Jupiter, you shan't do any-
thing here, anyway, that's sure, without xxxy spjring
you! [exeunt into house.

ACT II
enter Cleostrata and Pardalisca from house.
CUost, (to servants within) Seal up the pantries, and bring
me back the ring.^ I am going over here next
door to my neighbour's. If my husband wants
me for an3rthing, you are to come over here for
me.
Par, Master said to have lunch ready for him, ma'am.
CUost, (sharply) Hush ! Hold your tongue and go away.

[exit Pardalisca into house.
I will not get things ready, and not a thing shall
be cooked this day, either, seeing he sets himself
against me ai^d his own son to gratify his own
amorous appetite, the scandal of a man ! I'll
punish him, the gallant, — with hunger, thirst,
* With which they have sealed the pantry.

VOL. II. C

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ego pol ilium probe Incommodis dictis angam, 153-155
faciam uti proinde ut est dignus vitam colat,
Acheruntis pabulum,
flagiti persequentem,^
stabulum nequitiae.
nunc hue meas fortunas eo questum ad vicinam* l60
sed foris concrepuit, atque eapse eccam egreditur
foras.

non pol per tempus

iter hue mi incepi.

II. 2.

Myrr, Sequimini^ comites, in proxumum me hue. heusvos,

acquis haec quae loquor audit ? 163-165

ego hie ero, vir si aut quispiam quaeret.
nam ubi domi sola sum, sopor manus calvitur.
iussin colum ferri mihi ?
CUost. Mjnrrhina, salve. 168-170

Myrr, Salve mecastor. sed quid tu es

tristis, amabo }
CUost, Ita Solent onmes

quae sunt male nuptae; 172-175

domi et foris aegre quod siet, satis semper est.
nam ego ibam ad te.
Myrr, Et pol

ego istuc ad te.
sed quid est quod tuo nunc animo aegrest ?
nam quod tibi est aegre,

idem mi est dividiae. 179, 180

Cleost, Credo ecastor, nam vicinam neminem amo meHto
magis quam te

nee 2 qua in plura sint mihi quae ego velim.

^ Corrupt (Leo) : persequeiUem {tnam) Schoell.
' Corrupt (Leo) ; nee qtui in plura sunt

mihi quae ego vdim Lindsay.

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CASINA

hard words, hard treatment, — oh. Til punish him !
Good gracious, won't I make him writhe with the
tongue-lashing I give him ! V\l see he leads the
life he deserves, the old carrion, the debauchee,
the sink of iniquity ! I'll go over here to my
neighbour's this minute and tell her how unhappy
I am. (Jistens) Ah ! her door creaked ! Yes, and
there she is herself coming out. Dear, dear ! I've
set out on my visit here at a bad time, {steps
hack into her doorway)

Scene 2. enter Myrrhina from her house.

Myrr, (to maids mthin) Come, girls, come over next door
here with me. (irritably, as no one appears) Now,
now, you ! Is anybody listening to what I say ?
[enter maids hurriedly into doorway] I shall
be here (pointing to Cleostraias house) if my husband
or anyone asks for me. For when Fm at home alone
I get so drowsy my work drops out of my hands.
Didn 1 1 tell you to bring me my distaff?

[exeunt maids.

Cleost, (stepping up) Good morning, Myrrhina.

Myrr, Oh! Good morning, (scanning her face) ^\x\, dio
tell me, what makes you so doleful ?

Cleost, (with a sigh) It's the normal state of all women
who are unhappily married; indoors and out
there's always enough to trouble them. Why, I
was just going over to your house.

Myrr, Well, well, and I over there to yours. But what
is it makes you feel troubled now ? For anything
that troubles you hurts me, too.

Cleost. (embracing her) Ah yes, I do believe it does ! For
there's not a neighbour I love more than you —
and with good reason — or one I can take more
comfort in.

19
c 2

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

My7T. Amo te, atque istuc expeto scire quid sit. 183-185

Cleost, Pessumis me modis despieatur domi.

Myrr, Hem, quid est ? die idem — ^nam pol hau satis meo

corde accepi querellas tuas — opsecro.
Cleost Vir me habet pessumis despicatam modis,

nee mihi ius meum optinendi optio est. 1 90

Myrr, >f ira sunt, vera si praedicas, nam viri

ius suom ad mulieres optinere baud queunt.
Cleosl, Quin mihi ancillulam ingratiis postulat,

quae mea est, quae meo educta sumptu siet,
vilico suo se dare,
sed ipsus eam amat.
Myrr. Obsecro

tace.
CleosL Nam hie nunc licet dicere ;

nos sumus.
Myrr. Ita est. unde ea tibi est ?

nam peculi probam nil habere addecet
clam virum, et quae habet, partum ei baud

commode est, 200

quin viro aut subtrahat aut stupro invenerit.
hoc viri censeo esse omne, quidquid tuom est.
Cleosl. Tu quidem advorsum tuam amicam omnia loqueris.
Myrr, Tace sis, stulta, et mi ausculta.

noli sis tu ilh advorsari, 204, 205
sine amet, sine quod libet id faciat, quando tibi nil
domi delicuom est.
Cleost. Satin sana es? nam tu quidem advorsus tuam
istaec rem loquere.
20

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CASINA

Myrr. And I do love you ; yes, and Fm so anxious to
know what the matter is.

CkosL It's perfectly outrageous the way Fm flouted at
home !

Myrr, My, my ! What's that ? Do say that again, please,
for really I haven't got it clear in my head what
you're complaining about.

Cleost My husband — ^it's perfectly outrageous the way he
has been flouting me, and as for getting my
rights, I have no chance!

Myrr, (smiling) That's strange, if you're telling the truth,
for generally the men can't get their rights from
the women.

CleoH, But look, I have a little maid of my own, one I
brought up at my own expense, and here he is
trying to marry her, against my will, to his bailiff
— the fact being that he is in love with her
himself.

Myrr. (nervous) Hush, hush, for mercy's sake !

CUost. Oh, I can say what I please here now ; we're alone.

Myrr, (looking about) So we are. (severely) Where did
you get this maid ? For a modest wife oughtn't
to have any private property unbeknown to her
husband, and a wife that does hasn't come by it
properly — without robbing him or wronging him,
one or the other. In my opinion all that's yours
is your husband's.

Cleost. (offended) There you are, speaking against your
friend in every word you say !

Myrr. Do please keep still, silly, and listen to me ! Now
please don't set yourself against your husband —
let him have his love affairs, let him do what suits
him, so long as you lack for nothing at home.

Cleost Really, are you in your senses ? Why, there you
are, speaking against your own interests !

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Myrr. Insipiens^ 207-210

semper tu huic verbo vitato abs tuo viro.

Cleost, Cui verbo ?

Myrr. • Ei foras, mulier.

Cleost, St, tace,

Myrr. Quid est ?

Cleost Em.

Myrr. Quis est, quem vides ?

Cleost. Vir

eccum it ; intro abi, adpropera, age amabo.

Myrr. Impetras, abeo,

Cleost. Mox magis cum otium mi et tibi erit, igitur 214, 215
tecum loquar. nunc vale.

Myrr. Valeas.

II. 3.

Lys. Omnibus rebus ego amorem credo et nitoribus

nitidis antevenire,
nee potis quicquam commemorari quod plus salis

plusque leporis hodie
habeat; cocos equidem nimis demiror, tot qui

utuntur condimentis,
eos eo condimento uno non utier, omnibus quod

praestat. 220

nam ubi amor condimentum inerit, cuivis placi-

turam escam credo ;
neque salsum neque suave esse potest quicquam,

ubi amor non admiscetur :
fel quod amarumst, id mel faciet, hominem ex

tristi lepidum et lenem.
banc ego de me coniecturam domi facio magis

quam ex auditis ;
qui quom amo Casinam, magis niteo, munditiis

munditiam antid^o,
%%

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CASINA

Myrr, {sagely) Stupid ! There's one thing you should

always beware of your husband's saying to you.
Ckost, What?

Myrr, " Woman, leave my house.*' ^
CleosL {looking dotmi the street) Sh-h ! Keep still !
Myrr, What's the matter ?
Cleost {pointing) There!
Myrr. Who is it you see ?
Cleost. Look 1 My husband's coming ! Go inside, hurry !

(hustling her off) Now, now, there's a dear !
Myrr, (stopping in her doorway) Yes, yes, I'm going.
Cleost, {hurriedly) Later on when we're both more at

leisure I want a talk with you. For the present,

good-bye !
Myrr, Good-bye.

[exit Myrrhina ; Ckostrata withdraws into her

DOORWAY.

Scene 3. enter Lysidamtis, very blithe.

Lys, Ah, yes, yes, there's nothing in the world like
love, no bloom like its bloom ; not a thing can you
mention that has more flavour and more savour.
Upon my soul, it's most surprising that cooks,
with all their use of spices, don't use this one
spice that excels them all. Why, when you spice
a dish with love it'll tickle every palate, 1 do
believe. Not a thing can be either salt or sweet
without a dash of love : it will turn gall, bitter
though it be, to honey — ^an old curmudgeon to a
{self'Consciotisly) pleasing and polished gentleman.
It is more from my own case than from hearsay I
draw this conclusion. Now that I'm in love with
Casina, how I have bloomed out ! I'm more natty
than nattiness itself. I keep all the perfumers on

* The first step in divorce.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

myropolas omnes soUicito, ubicumque est lepidum

unguentum, unguor,
ut illi placeam; et placeo, ut videor. sed uxor

me excruciat, quia vivit.
tristem astare aspicio. blande haec mihi mala res
appellanda est.

uxor mea meaque amoenitas^ quid tu agis ?
Cleost, Abi atque abstine manum.

L^s, Heia, mea luno, non decet esse te tam tristem

tuo lovi. 230

quo nunc abis ?
Cleost, Mitte me.

Lys, Mane.

Cleost, Non maneo.

Lifs, At pol ego te sequar.

Cleost, Obsecro, sanun est ?
Lifs, Sanus quom ted amo.

Cleost, Nolo ames.
Lys, Non potes impetrare.

Cleost, Enecas.

Lys, Vera dicas velim.

Cleost, Credo ego istuc tibi.

Lys, Respice, o mi lepos.

Cleost, Nempc ita ut tu mihi es.

unde hie, amabo^ unguenta olent ?
Lys, Oh perii, manufesto miser

teneor. cesso caput

pallio detergere }
ut te bonus Mercurius perdat, myropola, quia haec

mihi dedisti.
24

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CASINA

the jump ; wherever there's a nice scent to be had,
1 get scented, so as to please her. (^preening himself)
And it seems to me I do please her. (pauses)
But my wife does torment me by — Uving ! {glancing
toward his house) I see her, standing there with a
sour look. Well, I must greet this bad bargain
of mine with some smooth talk, (hurries up to
Cleostrata and embraces her fondly) And how goes
it with my dear and my delight ?

Cleost. {snappishly y as she tries to free herself) Get away,
and keep your arm away !

^y^' (P^mfi^y) ^^f now, now, Juno mine, it's not nice
for you to be so cross with your Jove ! Whither
away now ?

Cleost. Let me go ! {escapes)

Lys, Wait !

Cleost. I won't wait I

Lys. Gad, then, I'll follow you ! {catches her again)

Cleost. For mercy's sake, is the man sane ?

Lys. (leering) Sane I am, in loving you.

Cleost. I don't want your love.

Lys. You can't help having it. {kisses her despite her
struggles)

Cleost. You'll be the death of me !

Lys. {in low tone) Would you were telling the truth !

Cleost. (overhearing) I believe you in that ! (escapes again)

Lys. (plaintively) Do give me one look, my sweet !

Cleost. {stopping) Your sweet ? Yes, m the way you are
mine ! {sniffing) Where does this smell of per-
fumery come from, my dear sir?

Lys, (aside) Oh, my Lord ! Caught in the act ! Dear,
dear ! I must hurry and wipe it off my head with
my cloak, {tries to do so furtively) Oh, good Mer-
cury ^ curse you, perfumer, for giving me the stuff!
1 The god of trade.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Cleost Eho tu nihili, cana culex, vix teneor quin quae
decent te <^cam^
senecta aetate unguentatus per vias, ignave^

incedis ? 240

Lifs. Pol ego amieo dedi cuidam operam, dum emit

unguenta.
CleosL Vt cito commentust.

ecquid te pudet ?
L^s. Omnia quae tu vis.

CleosL Vbi in lustra iacuisti ?

Li/s, Egone in lustra?

Cleost. Scio plus quam tu me arbitrare.

Li/s. Quid id est ? quid scis ?

CleosL Te sene omnium^ senem neminem esse ignavi-
orem.
unde is, nihili ? ubi fuisti ? ubi lustratu's ? ubi

bibisti ?
mades meeastor. vide, palliolum ut rugat.
Li/s, Di me et te infelieent,

si ego in os meiun hodie vini guttam indidi.
CleosL Immo age, ut lubet,

bibe, es, disperde rem.
L^s. Ohe, iam satis, uxor, com-

prime te, nimium tinnis, 248-250

relinque aliquantum orationis, eras quod meeum

litiges.
sed quid ais? iam domuisti animum, potius ut

quod vir velit
fieri, id facias, quam adversere contra ?
CleosL Qua de re ?

Li/8, Rogas ?

super ancilla Casina, ut detur nuptum nostro vilico,

^ Corrupt (Leo) : 8en{um equ%d)em Leo.
26

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CASINA

CleoH, Oh-h-h, you good-for-nothings you hoary headed
gnat I It's all 1 can do to keep from telling you
some home truths ' A creature of your time of
life promenading the streets all perfumed^ you
useless thing !

Lys. {hastily) I swear I was only accompanying a friend,
a certain friend of mine, while he bought some
perfumery.

CleosU {with mock admiration) What a ready romancer he
is ! {savagely) Are you ashamed of nothing ?

L^. {humbly) Of everything you wish.

Cleost, What vile resort have you been lolling in ?

Lys, I in a vile resort — I ?

Cleost, {meaningly) I know more than you think I do.

Lys, {worried) What's that ? What do you know ?

Cleost, That of all old men on earth there's none more
useless than your useless self. Where are you
coming from, good-for-nothing ? Where have you
been ? W^here have you been wallowing .'' Where
have you been drinking ? Good gracious ! you're
drunk ! Look there — the wrinkles in that cloak
of yours !

Lys, Heaven confound me — {aside) and you, too — if
I've put a drop of wine in my mouth to-day !

Cleost. Never mind, go on, do as you please — drink, eat,
consume your substance !

Lys, {gaining courage) Oh, I say, my dear, that's enough
now ! Get yourself in hand ! You're rattling on
too far. Save some of your speech-making for
your quarrel with me to-morrow, (pauses) But
see here ; have you got your temper enough
under control now to do what your husband wants,
instead of opposing him ?
Cleost, {icily) In regard to what ?

Lys, You ask? In regard to the maid, Casina. Is she

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

servo frugi atque ubi illi bene sit ligno, aqua

calida^ eibo,
vestimentis, ubique educat pueros quos pariat^

potius
quam illi servo nequam des^ armigero nili atque

improbo^
cui homini hodie peculi nummus non est plumbeus
Cleost. Minim ecastor, te senecta aetate officium tuom

non meminisse.
Lys, Quid iam ?

CleoH, Quia, si facias recte aut

commode, 260

me sinas curare ancillas, quae mea est curatio.
Lifs, Qui, malum, homini scutigerulo dare lubet ?
Cleost, Quia enim filio

nos oportet opitulari unico.
Lys, At quamquam unicust,

nihilo magis ille unicust mihi filius quam ego illi

pater :
ilium mi aequiust quam me illi quae volo concedere.
Cleost, Tu ecastor tibi, homo, malam rem quaeris.
Lys, Subolet, sentio.

egone ?
Cleost. Tu. nam quid friguttis? quid istuc tarn

cupide cupis ?
Lys, Vt enim frugi servo detur potius quam servo

improbo.
Cleost, Quid si ego impetro atque exoro a vilico, causa mea

ut eam illi permittat ?
Lys, Quid si ego autem ab armigero impetro, 270

ut eam illi permittat ? atque hoc credo impetrassere.
Cleost. Convenit. vin tuis Chalinum hue evocem verbis
foras?
tu eum orato, ego autem orabo vilicum.

^ Corrupt (Leo) : parioU {sibi) Schoell.
28

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CASINA

to be married to our bailiff — ^a worthy servant ! —
yes, and live where she'll be well off for wood,
warm water, food, clothes, and where she can
bring up her youngsters, instead of your giving
her to that worthless slave, that good-for-nothing
rascal of an orderly that hasn't saved up as much
as a lead shilling ?

Cleost, Goodness me, sir, it is odd you should forget your
place at your time of life !

L/s. Eh? How's that?

Cleost. Well, if you acted rightly or reasonably, you would
let me take care of the maids myself — they are
my proper care.

Lys. But, dash it ! how can you want to give her to
that shield-porter fellow ?

Cleost, Why, because both of us ought to assist our son,
our only son.

Lys. Well, no matter if he is our only son, he's no more
my only son than I am his only father. It's more
fitting he should peld to my wishes than I to his.

Cleost, Oho, my dear sir ! You mre looking for something
bad!

Lys, (aside) She smells a rat, I see that, {aloud, ner-
vously) I ?

Cleost, You. Now, why are you stammering ? Why are
you so awfully anxious for this match ?

Lys, {guilelessly) Why, so that a worthy servant may
get the girl, rather than a rascally one.

Cleost, What if I prevail upon the bailiff and persuade
him to oblige me by giving her up to the orderly ?

Lys, But what if I prevail upon the orderly to give her
up to the bailiff? Yes, and I believe I can.

Cleost, Very well. Do you wish me to call Chalinus out
here for you ? You plead with him, while I plead
with the bailiff.

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys, Sane volo.

CkosL lam hie erit. nunc experiemur, nostrum uter sit

blandior.
Lys, Hercules dique istam perdant, quod nunc liceat
dicere.
ego discrucioi* miser amore^ ilia autem quasi ob

industriam
mi advorsatur. subolet hoc iam uxori quod ego

machinor ;
propter eam rem magis armigero dat operam de
industria.
II. 4.

qui ilium di omnes deaeque perdant.
ChaL Te uxor aiebat tua

me vocare.
Lys, Ego enim vocari iussi.

ChaL Eloquere quid velis. 280

Lys, Primum ego te porrectiore fronte volo mecum loqui ;
stultitia est ei te esse tristem^ cuius potestas plus

potest,
probum te et frugi hominem iam pridem esse
arbitror.
Chal, Intellego.

quin^ si ita arbitrare, emittis me manu }
Lys, Quin id volo. 284, 285

sed niliil est, me cupere factum, nisi tu factis
adiuvas.
Chal, Quid velis modo id velim me scire.
Lys, Ausculta, ego eloquar.

Casinam ego uxorem promisi vilico nostro dare.
Chal, At tua uxor filiusque promiserunt mihi.

yGoogk

CASINA

Lys, By all means.

CleosL (turning towards the door) He Mill be here directly.
Now we shall see which of us has the smoother
tongue. [exit.

Lys. {making-sure she is gone ; then, feelingly) The powers
above confound the woman ! I hope I may say it
now. Here I am in the torments of love, hang it !
while here she is seeming to make a point of
opposing me ! She's got wind of my plot already ;
that's why she makes a point of helping the
orderly all the more.

Scene 4. enter Chalinus, unseen, into the doohway.

May all the powers of heaven confound him !
ChaL {loudly) You {languidly) called me, so your wife

said.
Lys, {swallowing his wrath) Yes, I asked to have you

called.
Chal, {gruffly) What do you want ? Speak out.
lAfs, (trying to he pleasant) In the first place, I want to

see less of a scowl on your face while you talk

with me ; it's absurd for you to be sulky with one

who's your superior in point of power, {pauses;

then heaHilv) For a long time now I have regarded

you as an honest, worthy fellow.'
Chal, {derisively) I see. Well, that being so, why don't

you set me free ?
Lys, Well, that's what I want. But my desire to do so

doesn't signify, if you don't help by what you do

yourself.
Chal, All I should like to know is what you'd like.
Lofs, Listen here ; I will speak out. I promised to

marry Casina to our bailiff.
Chal, Yes, but your wife and son promised her to

me.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lysi Scio.

sed utrum nunc tu caelibem te esse mavis liberum 290

an maritum servom aetatem degere et gnatos tuos ?

optio haec tua est : utram harum vis condicionem
aceipe.
ChaL Liber si sim, meo periclo vivam ; nunc vivo tuo.

de Casina certum est concedere homini nato nemini.
Lys, Intro abi atque actutum uxorem hue evoca ante
aedis cito,

et sitellam hue tecum efferto cum aqua^ et sortis.
ChaL Satis placet.

Lys, Ego pol istam iam aliquovorsum tragulam decidero.

nam si sic nihil impetrare potero^ saltem sortiar.

ibi ego te et suffragatores tuos ulciscar.

Ckal, Attamen

mi obtinget sors.
Lys, Vt quidem pol pereas cruciatu malo. 300

ChaL Mi ilia nubet, machinare quid lubet quo vis modo.
Lofs, Abin hinc ab oculis ?

ChaL Invitus me vides, vivam tamen.

Lys, Sumne ego miser homo? satin omnes res sunt
advorsae mihi ?

iam metuo^ ne Olympionem mea uxor exoraverit

ne Casinam ducat, si id factum est^ ecce me
nullum senem.

si non impetravit, etiam specula in sortist mihi.

yGoogk

CASINA

Li/s. I know. But which do you prefer now — ^to stay
single and be set free^ or to marry and pass
your life in slavery, you and your children, too ?
This is your choice: take either alternative you
like.

ChaL If I were free, I should have to live at my own
costs ; as it is, I live at yours. About Casina my
mind's made up — I won't yield her to a single
soul on earth.

Lys, (ongrily) In with you and call my wife out here in
front of the house at once. Quick ! And bring
an urn of water out here with you, and the
lots.i

Choi. That suits me well enough.

hfs. By the Lord, I'll soon spoil that shot of yours one
way or another ! I tell you what, if I can't carry my
point by persuasion, I'll leave it to the lots, any-
how. There's where I'll get square with you and
your partisans.

Chcd. {airily) Only the lot will fall to me.

Lj/s, iff^^h) ^^^t by g*d • — *bc lo* o^ death by torture
dire.

Choi, I'm the man she'll marry, plot as you like in any
way you want.

Lys. Leave my sight, will you !

Choi, {grinning I seem to be an eyesore to you. Oh
well, that won't kill me. [exit into house.

Iajs, If I'm not a miserable man ? Oh, isn't every-
thing against me ? What I'm afraid of now is that
my wife has prevailed on Ol3rmpio not to marry
Casina. If she has, here's a poor old fellow done
for ! If she hasn't succeeded, there's still a ray
of hope for me in the lots. But if the lot oozes

^ The settlement of disputes by drawing lots from an
urn of water was common.

VOL. II. D

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

si sors autein decolassit, gladium faciam culcitam
eumque incumbam. sed progreditur optume eccum
Olympio.

II. 5.

OL Vna edepol opera in fumum calidum condito

atque ibi torreto me pro pane rubido, 310

era, qua istue opera a me impetres quod postulas.
Lifs, Salvos sum, salva spes est, ut verba audio.
OL Quid tu me tua, era, libertate territas ?

qui si tu nolis filiusque etiam tuos,

vobis invitis atque amborum ingratiis

una libella liber possum fieri.
Ly*. Quid istuc est ? quicum litigas, Olynipio ?
OL Cum eadem qua tu semper.
Lyj. * Cum uxore mea ?

OL Quam tu mi uxorem } quasi venator tu quidem es :

dies atque noctes cum cane aetatem exigis. 320

Lys, Quid agit, quid loquitur tecum ?
OL Orat, obsecrat,

ne Casinam uxorem ducam.
Ly*. Quid tu postea ?

OL Ncgavi enim ipsi me concessurum lovi,

si is mecum oraret.
Lys, Di te servassint mihi.

OL Nunc in fermento totast, ita turget mihi.
Lyj. Ego edepol illam mediam diruptam velim.
OL Credo edepol esse, siquidem tu frugi bonae es.

verum edepol tua mihi odiosa est amatio ;

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CASINA

away^ 1*11 take my sword for a pillow and lay me
down upon it. {the door opens), Look^ though !
There comes Olympio ! Good, good !

Scene 5. enter Olympio into doorway.

0/. (to Cleostrata within) By heaven, ma'am, you can
just as soon shut me up in a hot oven and bake
me brown as a biscuit as get me to give in io
what you want.

Ia/s. (aside) Saved ! I and my hopes are saved, from
what I hear !

0/. What are you trying to scare me for, ma'am, with
your talk about my freedom ? Like it or not,
you and your son too, despite you, for all the pair
of you can do, I can get freed for a farthing.

Lys. {as Olympio closes the door) What's all this ? Whom
are you wrangling with, Ol3rmpio ?

01 The same lady you're always at it with.

Lys, With my wife }

OL (snoHing) Wife, eh? Wife, is it? You lead a
regular huntsman's life — pass your days and nights
with a dog.

Lys, What has she been at ? What's she been saying
to you ?

OL She's been begging and beseeching me not to
marry Casina.

Lys, And you ?

01 Why, I said I wouldn't give her up to Jupiter
himself, not if he begged me to.

Lys, Heaven preserve you for me 1

OL Now she's all in a ferment, just swelling with
rage at me.

Lys, By gad, I wish she had burst in the middle !

OL By gad, she has, I fancy, if you're good for any-
thing. But, by gad, sir, I'm sick of your love afiair ;

35
n 9

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

inimica est tua uxor mihi^ inimicus filius^

iniiuici familiares.
Lys. Quid id refert tua ? 330

unus tibi hie dum propitius sit luppiter,

tu istos minutos eave deos flocei feceris.
01 Nugae sunt istae magnae. quasi tu nescias^

repente ut emoriantur humani loves.

responde : si tu luppiter sis mortuos^

cum ad deos minoris redierit regnum tuom^

quis mihi subveniet tergo aut capiti aut cruribus ?
Lys» Opinione melius res tibi habeat tua^

si hoc impetramus^ ut ego cum Casina cubem.
01, Non hercle opinor posse^ ita uxor acriter 340

tua instate ne mihi detur.
Lys, At ego sic agam :

coniciam sortis in $itellam et sortiar

tibi et Chalino. ita rem natam intellego :

necessum est vorsis gladiis depugnarier.
OL Quid si sors aliter quam voles evenerit ?
Lys, Bene dice, dis sum fretus, deos sperabimus.
OL Non ego istud verbum empsim tittibilicio ;

nam omnes mortales dis sunt freti, sed tamen

vidi ego dis fretos saepe multos decipi.
Lys, St, tace parumper.
01 Quid vis ?

Lys, Eccum exit foras 350

Chalinus intus cum sitella et sortibus.

nunc nos conlatis signis depugnabimus.

II. 6.

Cleost, Face, Chaline, certiorem me, quid mens vir me
velit.
36

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CASINA

your wife hates me, your son hates me, your whole
household hates me !

Iy#. Well, what of that? So long as Jupiter alone
here (tapping his chest consequentially) is propitious
to you, don't you care a straw about those petty
deities.

OL That's all rubbish. As if you didn't know how
suddenly those human Jupiters die off. Answer
me this : if your Jupiter of a self should die,
and your kingdom falls to those lesser deities,
who'll save my back or head or shanks for me }

Lys, (reassuringly) You'd be better off than you
imagine, if we gain our point and I get Casina.

01 Good Lord, but I don't think you can — ¥rith your
wife dead set against my having her !

h/s. But here's what I'm going to do : I'll throw the
lots into the urn and draw for you and Chalinus. I
see things have come to the point where we must
use our swords in earnest and fight it out.

OL What if the lots settle it the way you don't want }

Lys, (courageously) No ominous remarks I I trust to
Heaven ; we'll put our hopes in Heaven.

01, (disgusted) I wouldn't give a stiver for talk like
that. Why, every living soul trusts to Heaven,
but just the same I've seen plenty of your trust-
to-Heaven folks fooled times enough.

Lys, (listening) Sh-h ! Keep still a minute !

OL What do you want ?

Lys, (pointing to door) Look ! There's Chalinus coming
out with the urn and lots. Now we'll close with
them and fight it out.

ENTER Chalinus with urn and lots : Cleostrata
Scene 6. stops in doorway.

Cleost, Chalinus, tell me what my husband wants of me.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ckal, lUe edepol videre ardentem te extra portam mor-

tuam.
Cleost Credo ecastor velle.

ChaL At pol ego hau credo, sed certo scio.

Lys, Plus artificum est mihi quam rebar; hariolum hunc

habeo domi.

quid si propius attoUamus signa eamusque obviam ?

sequere. quid vos agitis ?

ChaL Adsunt quae imperavisti omnia :

uxor, sortes, situla atque egomet.
OL Te uno adest plus quam ego volo.

CkaL Tibi quidem edepol itavidetur; stimulus ego nunc

sum tibi, 360

fodico corculum; adsudascis iam ex metu, mastigia.
Lys, Tace, Chaline.
ChaL Comprime istum.

OL Immo istunc, qui didicit dare.

hys, Adpone hie sitellam, sortis cedo mihi. animum
advortite.
atque ego censui aps te posse hoc me impetrare,

uxor mea,
Casina ut uxor mihi daretur ; et nunc etiam censeo.
CleosU Tibi daretur ilia?

Lys, Mihi enim — ah, non id volui dicere.

dum mihi volui, huic dixi, atque adeo mihi dum

cupio — perperam
iam dudum hercle fabulor.
CleosL Pol tu quidem, atque etiam facis.

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CASINA

Chd, To see you blazing on your bier out beyond the
city gate — that's what he wants, by gad.

Cleost, Goodness me, I do believe he does !

Choi, Well, I don't believe it — I know it for certain.

Lys. {to Olympio, dryly) I own more professional men
than I thought ; this one here is my private clair-
voyant, {pauses, then with a martial air) Well ?
Up with our standards and charge } Follow me I
(leads the way to the other pair) What are you two
doing }

Chal. Everything you ordered is here — ^wife, lots, urn,
yes, and I myself.

01, It's you yourself that makes one more than I want
here.

Chal. Gad yes, it does seem that way to you. I'm a
thorn in the flesh to you now, digging into your
dear little heart. You're sweating for fear already,
you whipping-post.

Lys, Silence, Chalinus !

ChaL Get your arms about that fellow, {pointing to
Olympio)

01, No, sir ! About that fellow, that's learned to Hke
it.

Lys, {to Chalinus) Set the urn here ; give me the lots.
(taking them) Attention, both of you. {to Cleo-
strata, pleadingly) However, my dear, I did think
I could prevail upon you to let me marry Casina ;
and I think so now, too.

Cleost, Let you marry her ?

Lys, Yes, let me — oh-h-h ! I didn't mean to say that !
I . . . meant "me" when I . . . said "him"
. . . and . . . you see ... in my . . . anxiety
for myself — {in distress) oh, good Lord ! the absurd
way I've been jabbering all this time !

Cleost, {dryly) Goodness me, yes, and are still, too.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys, Huic — immo hercle mihi — ^vah, tandem redii vix

veram in viam.
Cleost. Per pol saepe peccas.
Lys. Ita fit, ubi quid tanto opere expetas. 370

sed te uterque tuo pro iure, ego atque hie, oramus.
Cleost Quid est ?

Lys, Dicam enim, mea mulsa : de istae Casina huic
nostro vilico

gratiam facias.
Cleost, At pol ego neque facio neque censeo.

Li^s. Turn igitur ego sortis utrimque iam diribeam.^
Cleost Quis votat ?

Ly*. Optimum atque aequissimum istud esse iure iudico.

postremo, si illuc quod volumus eveniet, gaude-
bimus ;

sin secus, patiemur animis acquis, tene sortem tibi.

vide quid scriptum est.
OL Vnum.

Chat Iniquom est, quia isti

prius quam mihi dedit.
Lys, Accipe banc sis.
Chat Cedo. mane, unum venit in mentem modo :

vide ne quae illic insit alia sortis sub aqua.
Lys. Verbero. 380

men te censes esse ?
Cleost, Nulla est. habe quietum animum modo.

Chal, Quod bonum atque fortunatum sit mihi —
OL Magnum malum

tibi quidem edepol credo eveniet ; novi pietatem
tuam.

^ iam (diribeam) SchoelK
40 *

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CASINA

Lys. Let him — ^good Lord^ no^ let me — {stopping to

collect himself) ah^ at last I've managed to get

back to the right road !
CUosU Mercy on us ! You get off it rather often.
Lys. Oh, that's quite usual, when you're awfully eager

for something. But we both — Olympio and 1 —

recognizing your rights, appeal to you.
Cleost, What do you mean ?
Lys. Why, this, honey dear : do oblige our bailiff

here in regard to your Casina.
Cleost. Groodness me, sir, I'll neither oblige him nor agree

to his being obliged.
Lys. Well then, I favour passing out lots to the two of

them at once.
Cleost. (curtly) Who hinders you ?
Lys, {trying to seem unconcerned) That is the best and

fairest method in my unbiased judgment. And

then if the result satisfies us, we'll rejoice ; if it

doesn't, we'll put up with it patiently, (to

Olympio) Here is a lot for you. (Olympio takes it)

See what is written on it.
OL (looking) The number one.
Chal. It's not fair that he should have his lot first !
Lys. (selecting another for ChaUnus) You kindly take

this one.
Chal, Give it here. (grabs it) Hold on ! I've just

thought of something, (to Cleosirata, eocdtedly)

See that there's no other lot under the water there.

You scoundrel I Do you take me for yourself?

(to ChaUnus, having eocamined the urn) There isn't.

Come now, calm yourself.
ChaL (preparing to drop his lot into the urn) Heaven be

with me and bring me luck

OL A good sound hiding is what you'll get, by gad,

J'm thinking ; I know your pious ways. Hold on,
- 41

yGoogk

Lys.
Cleost.

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

sed mane dum ; num ista aut populna sors aut
abiegnast tua ?
ChaL Quid tu id curas ?

01. Quia enim metuo^ ne in aqua summa natet.

Lys, Eugae ! ^ cave, conicite sortes nunciam ambo hue.
eccere.

uxor^ aequa.
OL Noli uxori credere.

Lys, Habe animum bonum.

01. Credo hercle, hodie devotabit sortis si attigerit.
La^s. Tace.

OL Taceo. deos quaeso —

ChaL Vt quidem tu hodie canem et furcam feras.

OL Mihi ut sortito eveniat —

ChaL Vt quidem hercle pedibus pendeas. 390

OL At tu ut oculos emungare ex capite per nasum tuos.
ChaL Quid times ? paratum oportet esse iam laqueimi

tibi.
OL Periisti.

Lys, Animum advortite ambo.

OL Taceo.

Lys. Nunc tu, Cleostrata,

ne a me memores malitiose de hac re factum aut
suspices,

tibi permitto— tute sorti.
OL Perdis me.

ChaL Lucrum facit.

Cleost. Bene facis.

^ eu^oe Lindsay : augc MSS. generally.
42

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CASINA

though ! That lot of yours isn't made of poplar

or fir, is it ?
ChaL What's that to you ?
OL Why, just this — Fm afraid of its floating on top oi

the water, {examines CkaUnus^s lot)
Lys, That's it ! Look out ! {standing hy the urn) Now

then, both of you throw your lots in here, {they

do so) There we are ! Wife, see that everything's

fair.
01, {nervous) Don't trust a Mife !
h/s. {watching Cleostrata narrowly as she approaches the

urn) Keep your courage up.
OL Oh Lord ! I do believe she'll lay a spell on the

lots, once she touches 'em.
Lys, Be quiet !
OL I am. (Cleostrata stirs the lots about) I hope to

Heaven

Chat. That you'll be carrying a chain and yoke, yes !

OL — that the drawing will give me the luck

Choi, To hang by your heels, yes, by gad !

OL No, to make you blow the eyes out of your head

through your nose ! (trembles with anxiety as he

stares at the urn)
Choi. What are you scared of .'* You ought to have it all

ready now — ^that noose of yours.
OL (wecAly) It's all over with you !
Lys, Attention ! both of you.
OL I'm saying nothing.
L^s. Now then, Cleostrata, to keep you from claiming

that I cheated in this matter, or suspecting

me, I leave it to you — you do the drawing

yourself.
OL {to LysidamuSy frantically) Oh, you're killing me !
Chal. (grinning) He'll make money by that.
Clcost, {to Lystdamusy tartly) Much obliged.

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Chat, Deos quaeso-— ut tua sors ex sitella effiigerit.

OL Ain tu ? quia tute es fugitives, omnes te imitari

cupis ?
utinam tua quidem, sicut factum esse Herculeis

praedicant
quondam prognatis, in sortiendo sors deliquerit.
Chal. Tu ut liqueseas ipse, actutum virgis calefactabere. 400
Lys, Hoc age sis, Olympio.

OL Si hie litteratus me sinat.

Lys, Quod bonum atque fortunatum mihi sit.
OL Ita vero, et mihi.

Chal. Non.

OL Immo hercle.

Chal. Immo mihi hercle.

CleosL Hie vincet, tu vives miser.

Lys, Percide os tu illi^ hodie. age, ecquid fit.'^ ne

obiexis manum.
OL Compressan palma an porrecta ferio ?
Lys. Age ut vis.

OL Em tibi.

Ckost, Quid tibi istunc tactio est }

OL Quia Juppiter iussit meus.

CleosU Feri malam, ut ille, rursum.

OL Perii, pugnis caedor, Juppiter.

Lys, Quid tibi tactio hunc fuit }

* Corrupt (Leo) : odio Seyflfert.
44

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CASINA

Ckal. (to Ohfmpio, mockingly) I hope to heaven — ^your lot

slips out of the urn.
0/. So ? Being a slippery one yourself, you long to

have imitators everywhere, eh ? Oh, if that lot

of yours would only melt away in the drawing,

like the one in that old story of Hercules's^

descendants !
dial, Youll melt, yourself, you'll be so warmed up with

a whip shortly.
Lys, Ol3naipio, kindly attend to business.
01 If this man of letters (pointing to the brand on

Chalinus's Jbrehead) would only let me.
Lys. (in aflutter, as Cleostrata prepares to draw) Heaven

be with me and bring me luck !
OL Yes, yes, and me !
ChaL No.

01. Oh Lord, yes, yes !
ChaL Oh Lord, no, no ! Me I
Cleost. (to Olympio) He (indicating Chalinus) is going to

win, and you are going to suffer, sir.
Lys, (to Olympio) Smash that fellow's jaw this minute I

(Olympio hesitates) Come, come ! Do you hear me }

(to Chalinus) Don't raise your hand.

(now valorous) Shall I punch or slap, sir ?

5uit yourself.

(punching Chalinus, then jumping away) Take that !

(angry) What do you mean by touching that man ?

Well, I was obeying my Jupiter.

(to Chalinus) You strike him back on the face the

same way. (Chalinus does so with enthusiasm)

Oh-h-h ! He's pounding me to death, Jupiter !

(pulling Chalinus away) What do you mean by

touching this man?

* The crafty Cresphontes's lot was made of terracotta,
his brother's of sun-baked earth which dissolved.

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS
Chal. Quia iussit haec luno mea.

Lys. Patiundum est, siquidem me vivo mea uxor im-

perium exhibet.
CleosL Tarn huic loqui licere oportet quam isti.
01, Cur omen mihi 410

vituperat ?
Lys. Malo, Chaline, tibi cavendum censeo.

Chal, Temperi, postquam oppugnatum est os.
Lys, Age, uxor, nunciam

sorti. vos advortite animum. prae metu ubi sim
nescio.

perii, cor lienosum, opinor, habeo, iam dudum salit,

de labore pectus tundit.
Cleost, Teneo sortem.

Lys. Ecfcr foras.

Chal, lamne mortuo*s ?
01. Ostende. mea haec est.

Chal, Mala crux east quidem.

Cleost, Victus es, Chaline.
Lys. Cum nos di iuvere, Oljrmpio,

gaudeo.

01, Pictate factum est mea atque maiorum meum.

Lys, Intro, abi, uxor, atque adoma nuptias.

Cleost, Faciam ut iubes.

Lys. Scin tu rus hinc esse ad villam longe quo ducat ?

Cleost. Scio. 420

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CASINA

Choi, Well, I was obeying my Juno here.

Lys. (bitterly) We must submit — my wife being the

head of the household — and I alive !
Cleost, Chalinus should have just as much right to talk

as that fellow.
OL What did he spoil my omen for ?
Lys. {dangerously) Chalinus, I advise you to look out for

trouble.
ChaL Nice time to warn me, after my jaw's been

hammered !
Lys, Come, wife ! Now then, draw ! {to servants)

Attention, you two ! {aside) I'm so nervous I don't

know where I am ! Oh, dear, dear, I've got a

splenetic heart, I do believe ; it's jumping up and

down all this time, working so hard that it thumps

my chest !

{her hand in the uni) I've got one.

{tremulously) Pull it out I

(to the breathless Olympio) Dead already, are

you ?

{as Cleostrata draws) Let's see it I {Cleostrata holds

it up) It's mine, it's mine !

i sourly) It's the devil, that's what it is !
apparently resigned) You have lost, Chalinus.
dancing about in ecstasy) The gods are with us,
Olympio ! Splendid !

{grinning at Chalinus) It aU comes of the pious
ways of me and my forbears.
Go inside, wife, and get things ready for the
wedding.

S meditative) To be sure.
impatient) Do you realize that it's a long way to
the country, to the farmhouse where he's to take
her?
I do.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys. Intro abi et^ quamquam hoc tibi aegre est^ tamen

fac accures.
Cleost. Licet.

Lys, Eamus nos quoque intro, hortemur ut properent.
OL Numquid moror ? —

Lys, Nam praesente hoc plura verba fieri non desidero.

II. 7.

ChaL Si nunc me suspendam^ meam operam luserim

et praeter operam restim sumpti fecerim

et meis inimicis voluptatem crcaverim.

quid opus est, qui sic mortuos } equidem tamen

sorti sum victus, Casina nubet vilico.

atque id non tam aegrest iam, vicisse vilicum,

quam id expetivisse opere tam magno senem^ 430

ne ea mihi daretur atque ut illi nuberet.

ut ille trepidabat, ut festinabat miser ;

ut sussultabat, postquam vicit vilicus.

attat, concedam hue, audio aperiri foris,

mei benevolentes atque amici prodeunt.

hinc ex insidiis hisce ego insidias dabo.

II. 8.

01, Sine modo rus veniat ; ego remittam ad te virum

cum furca in urbem tamquam carbonarium.
L/ys, Ita fieri oportet.
OL Factum et curatum dabo.

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CASINA

Ia/s. Go inside, and no matter if this does annoy you,

see that you look after things just the same.
Cleost. (still meditative) Very well. [exit.

Lys. (to Olympio) Let's go inside ourselves, too, and

urge them to hurry up.
01. Fm not delaying you, am I }
hfs, {in low tone) You see, I don't care for any

more talk in (glancing at Chalinus) this fellow's

presence.

[exeunt L^sidamtis and Olympio smiling cheer-
Scene 7. fully upon the gloomy Chalinus,

Chal. If I were to hang myself now, it would be labour
lost, and, besides the labour, I should be put to
the expense of buying a rope and be gratifying
my enemies. And what's the use, when I am
(with an amorotis sigh) dead already? Ah yes,
the lots were against me, after all ; Casina will
marry the bailiff*. But what grates on me now isn't
so much the bailiff" s winning as the old man's
having been so awfully eager for me to lose her and
for that chap to marry her. What a stew and
flurry he was in, the poor fool ! How he capered
about after the bailiff won ! (listening) Hm-m !
I'll step back here ; (withdraws) I hear the door
opening. Those kind, affectionate friends of
mine are coming out. I'll stay in ambush here
and ambush them.

Scene 8. enter Olympio and Lysidamus,

OL Only let him come to the farm! I'll send the
fine fellow back to town to you, under a yoke like
a charcoal peddler.

La^s, And so you should.

01. I'll see it's so, I'll take care of that

VOL. II. E

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys, Volui Chalinum^ si domi esset, mittere 440

tecum obsonatum, ut etiam in maerore insuper
inimico nostro miseriam banc adiungerem.

Chal. Recessim cedam ad parietem, imitabor nepam ;
captandust horum clanculum sermo mibi.
nam illorum me alter eruciat, alter macerat.
at candidatus cedit hie mastigia^
stimulorum loculi. protollo mortem mibi ;
certum est, bune Acberuntem praemittam prius.

01, Vt tibi ego inventus sum obsequens. quod maxime

cupiebas, eius copiam feci tibi. 450

erit hodie tecum quod amas clam uxorem.

Lys. Tace.

ita me di bene ament^ ut ego vix reprimo labra
ob istanc rem quin te deosculer, voluptas mea.

Chal. Quid, deosculere ? quae res ? quae voluptas tua ?
ecfodere hercle hie volt, credo, vesicam vilico.^

OL Ecquid amas nunc me ?

Lys. Immo edepol me quam te minus,

licetne amplecti te ?

Chal, Quid, amplecti ?

OL Licet.

Lys. Vt, quia te tango, mel mibi videor lingere.

01. Vitro te, amator, apage te a dorso meo.

Chal. IIluc est, illuc, quod hie hunc fecit vilicum. 460

* Corrupt (Leo) : credo hercle ecfodere hie volt Bothe.
50

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CASINA

b/s. If Chalinus was about^ I intended to send him
with you to (tittering) buy provisions, so as to give
our troubled rival still another throe.

Ckal, (Jlattemng himself against the house) Til back up
against the wall, and imitate a crab. I must lie
low and overhear what they're saying. Why,
one's racking me, and the other's wringing me !
{glaring at Olympio) See him strut about, all in
white,^ the whipping post, the club case! My
suicide is postponed ; it's him I'll send ahead to
Hades first, that's settled.

01 Ah, but haven't I shown myself an obliging
fellow ! Here I've helped you to what you long
for most ! You'll soon be with your ladylove, and
your wife none the wiser.

hjs. (with a nervous glance toward the door) Sh-h !
(wriggling in ecstasy) Lord love me, it's all I can
do to keep my lips away from you and not give
you a good kiss for it, you darling !

Chd. (aside) ^h} *' A good kiss?" What's all this. >
" Your darling ? " How's that ? (a^ Lysidamus
prances up to Olympio, manifesting a strong desire to
embrace him) My word ! I do believe he wants to
dig the bailiff's inwards out !

01 You love me a little now, do you }

Lys. A little ? Oh heavens ! more than my own self!
Will you let me hug you ?

Choi, (aside) What ? Hug him ?

01 (modestly) Yes.

Iajs. (embracing him rapturously) Oh, it's like lapping
honey, getting my lips on you !

01, {pushing him away) Avast there, my gallant ! Get
off my back !

Ckal (aside) That's it ! That's why he made the fellow
^ The bridegroom's dress.

51
E 2

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

eidem me pridem^ cum ei advorsum veneram,

facere atriensem voluerat sub ianua.
01, Vt tibi morigerus hodie, ut voluptati fui.

Li/s, Vt tibi, dum vivam, bene velim plus quam mihi.
CkaL Hodie hercle, opinor, hi conturbabunt pedes ;

solet hie barbatos sane sectari senex.
Lys, Vt ego hodie Casinam deosculabor, ut mihi

bona multa faciam clam meam uxorem.
CkaL Attatae,

nunc pol ego demum in rectam redii semitam.

hie ipsus Casinam deperit. habeo viros. 470

L^s, lam hercle amplexari, iam osculari gestio.
01. Sine prius deduci. quid, malum, properas ?
L^f. Amo.

01, At non opinor fieri hoc posse hodie.
Ia/s, Potest,

siquidem eras censes te posse emitti manu.
Ckal, £nim vero hue aures magis sunt adhibendae mihi :

iam ego uno in saltu lepide apros capiam duos.
Lifs. Apud hunc sodalem meum atque vicinum mihi

locus est paratus. ei ego amorem omnem meum

concredui ; is mihi se locum dixit dare.

01. Quid eius uxor ? ubi erit ?

Lys. Lepide repperi. 480

mea uxor vocabit hue eam ad se in nuptias,
52

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CASINA

his bailifF ! Yes^ and in my own case, one time
when I went to see him home, he was all for
making me his major-domo at his door sill.
Ah, how Tve stood by you to-day, how I've
delighted you !

Ah, and the friend Til be to you, all my life-
more than to my own self!

(aside) Good Lord ! I bet those two will be
making hot love to each other before long ; the
old man here always did take to bearded faces,
for a fact.

Ah, won't I kiss and kiss Casina to-day! Ah,
won't I have a good time of it, unbeknown to my
wife !

(aside) Ohoho! Now I'm on \he right road at
last, by Jove ! He dotes on Casina himself! I've
got our gentlemen I

Oh Lord I I'm just aching to hug her this
moment, to kiss her this moment ^
Let me take her home first. What's your hurry,
curse it ?
I'm in love.

Well, I don't see how it can be done to-day.
It can be — ^that is, if you think you con be freed
to-morrow.

(aside) Well, well, I must stick my ears further
into this. Now for a neat job catching two wild
boars in one brake, (gets closer)
(complacenily) There's a place waiting for me at
my good friend's and neighbour's here, (indicating
house of Alcesimus) I've told him all about my
little affair, and he said he'd provide me with a
place.

How about his wife ? Where wOl she be }
I'm a man of resources ! My wife will invite her

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ut hie sit secum^ se adiuvet^ secum cubet ;

ego iussi^ et dixit se facturam uxor mea.

ilia hie eubabit, vir aberit faxo domo.

tu rus uxorem duces ; id rus hie erit

tantisper dum ego eum Casina faeiam nuptias.

hinc tu ante lucem rus eras duees postea.

satin docte ?
01, Astute.

Chal. Age modo, fabricamini^

malo hercle vestro tarn vorsuti vivitis.
Lys, Scin quid nune facias ?
01, Loquere.

Lys. Tene marsuppium^ 490

abi atque obsona^ propera^ sed lepide volo^

mollieulas escas^ ut ipsa mollicula est
OL Licet.

Lys. Emito sepiolas^ lepadas^ lolligunculas^

hordeias.
ChaL Immo^ tritieeias^ si sapis.

Lys. Soleas.
ChaL Qui quaeso potius quam sculponeas,

quibus battuatur tibi os^ senex nequissime ?
01, Vin lingulacas ?
Lys, Quid opust^ quando uxor domi est?

ea lingulaca est nobis^ nam numquam tacet.
01. In re praesenti ex copia piscaria

consulere quid emam potero.
Lys. Aequom oras^ abi. 500

argento parci nolo^ obsonato ampliter.

nam mihi vicino hoc etiam convento est opus^

ut quod mandavi curet

yGoogk

CASINA

over to the wedding so as to keep her company^
and help her, and spend the night with her. 1
told her to do that, and my wife said she would.
Myrrhina will stop at our house, and I'll guarantee
her husband won't be home. You'll take your
wife off to the farm ; and that farm {chuckling)
will be {jpomUng to Alcesimtu's house) here, so long
as Casina and I are celebrating the marriage.
Then before daylight to-morrow you're to take
her off to the farm. Rather clever, eh ?

Ol. You're a deep one, sir !

Choi, (aside) Just you go ahead and lay your schemes.
By gad, you'll pay for being such a smart pair.

Lys, D'ye know what you're to do now !

Ol Tell me.

Lifs. Take this purse (giving it to him) and go buy some
provisions. Quick ! But something nice, mind —
soft little dainties to match her soft little self.

OL All right.

Lys, Get some little sepias, and limpets, and little
cuttles, and grainings.

Chal. (aside) Well, but make 'cm grainings of wheat, if
you're wise.

LMfs. And some soles.

ChaL (aside) I say, why not make them wooden soles,
to beat your face with, you rank old sinner ?

OL Want some little dogfish ?

Lys. What for, when my wife's at home ? She's " little
dogfish " enough for us — why, she's always barking.

OL Once Tm on the spot I can look over the fish-
monger's stock and decide what to buy.

Lys, Right you are ; off with you. Don't try to econo-
mize— get plenty, plenty. Well, I must see my
neighbour again and make sure he manages his
part of it.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

OL lamne abeo ?

Lys, Volo.

ChaL Tribus non conduci possum libertatibus,

quin ego illis hodie comparem magnum malimi
quinque banc omnem rem meae erae iam faciam

palam.
manifesto teneo in noxia inimicos meos.
sed si nunc facere volt era offieium suom^
nostra omnis lis est. pulchre praevortar viros.
nostro omine it dies ; iam victi vicimus. 510

ibo intro, ut id quod alius condivit cocus,
ego nunc vicissim ut alio pacto condiam^
quo id quoi paratum est ut paratum ne siet
sitque ei paratum quod paratum non erat.

ACTVS III

hys. Nunc amici anne inimici sis imago^ Alcesime,

mibi sciam^ nunc specimen specitur^ nunc certamen

cernitur.
cur amem me castigareyid ponito ad compendium,
" cano capite " "aetate aliena " eo addito ad com-
pendium,
" cui sit uxor " id quoque illuc ponito ad compen-
dium.
Ah. Miseriorem ego ex amore quam te vidi neminem. 520
Ijys, Fac vacent aedes.

Ale, Quin edepol servos, ancillas domo

certum est omnis mittere ad te,
56

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CASINA

OL Shall I go now ?

Lt/s. Yes. [bxeunt^ Olympio to forum^ Lyndamus into

Alcesimuss house.

ChaL {elated) I couldn't be hired — for three freedoms —
not to give those two a precious bad time of it
to-day and not to go to mistress this minute with
the whole story. I've got my enemies caught^
caught in the act, redhanded. Only let mistress
do her duty now, and the case is ours on every
count, ril forestall those fine fellows handsomely.
The omens are for us this day ! The losers win !
I'll go in now so as to try my hand on a mess
another cook has seasoned, and season it another
way ; and I'll see to it that the mess is not ready
for the man it was ready for, but that a mess not
ready for him is in readiness. [exit.

ACT III
ENTER Lystdamus and Alcesimus from the latter's

HOUSE.

Lys. Now I shall learn whether you represent a friend
or a foe, Alcesimus ; now you'll show a sample of
yourself, now is the time of test. As for lecturing
me for being in love— cut that short. ''With
your hoary head," "at such an age " — cut that
short, too. '' A married man I " Yes, and cut that
short.

Ale. (with amused contempt) A man more lovesick than
you I never saw !

Lys, Be sure the house is empty.

Ak, Yes, good Lord, yes ! it's settled that I am to
send all the men and maidservants over to your
place.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys. Oh, nimium scite scitus es.

sed facitodum merula ^ per vorsus quod cantat tu

colas :
" cum cibo cum quiqui " facito ul veniant, quasi
eant Sutrium.
Alc» Meminero.

Lys. £m, nunc enim te demum nullum scitum

scitiust.
cura, ego ad forum modo ibo ; iam hie ero.
Ale. Bene ambula.

hys. Fac habeant linguam tuae aedes.
Ale, Quidita?

Lys, Cum veniam, vocent.

Ale, Attatae, caedundus tu homo es; nimias delicias

facis.
Lys, Quid me amare refert, nisi sim doctus ac dicaculus ?

sed tu cave in quaesitione mihi sis.
Ak, Vsque adero domi. 530

III. 2.

Cleost. Hoc erat ecastor quod me vir tanto opere orabat

mens,
ut properarem arcessere hanc hue ad me vicinam

meam,
liberae aedes ut sibi essent, Casinam quo dedu-

cerent.
nunc adeo nequaquam arcessam, ne illis ignavis-

sumis
liberi loci potestas sit, vetulis vervecibus.

* per versus quod Festus : per vorsus quos BVE : cum
cibo cum quiqui MSS. : tu Lindsay.
58

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CASINA

{dtUgktcdly) Oh, you extraordinary, extraordinary
man ! But see that you follow what the black-
bird sings in its stave : see that they come " with
food, or no matter what," as if they were march-
ing to Sutrium.*
ilc. 1*11 remember.

' hfs, {seizing his hand rapturously) There now, that's it !
Never was ordinance better ordered than you !
Look out for things ; Tm going to the forum my-
self. I'll be back soon.

Ale, A pleasant walk to you.

Ij/s. (smiling fatuously) See that your house gets a
tongue.

Ale. Why so?

Ia/s. I want it full of welcome, and nothing else, when
I arrive.

Ale, (disgusted) Ugh-h ! You ought to be kept under,
man ; you're altogether too buoyant.

Lys, What's the use of my being in love, if Fm not
clever and canty ? (about to go) But don't make
me look for you, mind.

Ale. I shall be at home all the time. [exeunt.

Scene 2. enter Cleostrata from the house.

{A couple of hours have elapsed,)

Cleost, Good gracious ! This was the reason my husband
was so insistent I should invite my neighbour over
directly — so that there might be an empty house
for them to take Casina to. Well now, I won't
invite her, indeed I won't, and let those vile crea-
tures have a place to do as they like in, the old
wethers ! [enter Alcesimus into his doorway] Ah,

^ A hurried march to Sutrium had been an event in a
war with the Gauls.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

sed eccum egreditur, senati columen, praesidium

popli,
meus vicinus, meo viro qui liberum praehibet

locum,
non ecastor vilis emptu est, modio qui venit salis.
Ale, Miror hue iam non arcessi in proxumum uxorem
meam,
quae iam dudum, si arcessatur, omata exspectat

domi. 540

sed eccam, opino arcessit. salve, Cleostrata.
Cleost. Et tu, Alcesime.

ubi tua uxor ?
Ale, Intus ilia te, si se arcessas, manet ;

nam tuos vir me oravit, ut eam istuc ad te adiutum

mitterem.
vin vocem ?
Cleost, Sine eam ^ ; nolo si occupata est.

Ale, Otium est.

Cleost, Nil moror, molesta ei esse nolo ; post convenero.
Ale. Non ornatis istic apud vos nuptias ?
Cleost. Omo et paro.

Ale. Non ergo opus est adiutrice ?
Cleost. Satis domist. ubi nuptiae

fuerint, tum istam convenibo. nunc vale, atque
istanc iube.
Ale. Quid ego nunc faciam? flagitium maxumum
feci miser,
propter operam illius hirqui improbi, edentuli, 550

qui hoc mihi contraxit ; operam uxoris poUiceor

foras,
quasi catillatum. flagitium hominis, qui dixit mihi
suam uxorem hanc arcessituram esse ; ea se eam
negat morarier.

^ Leo notes lacuna here : eam te Goetz.
60

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CASINA

but there he is coming out — that pillar of the
senate, that bulwark of the state, that neighbour
of mine, who furnishes my husband with a place to
disport himself in ! Good heavens, that creature
would be dear at the price of a peck of salt !

Ale. Strange my wife hasn't been invited over next
door here already ; she's been all dressed up and
expecting the invitation for a long time, {aside,
on seeing Cleostrata) Here we are, though ! Coming
to invite her, I suppose, (alwid) Good day to
you, Cleostrata.

Cleost And to you, Alcesimus. Where is your wife ?

Ale. Inside, awaiting your invitation. Your husband,
you know, begged me to send her over to help
you. Shall I call her?

Cleost, {lightly) Oh, don't disturb her ; I don't want her,
if she's busy.

Ale, {hurriedly) She isn't.

Cleost, Never mind. I don't want to bother her ; 1*11
come and see her later.

Ale, {innoeently) Aren't you arranging for a wedding
over at your place ?

Cleost, Yes, and I am getting things ready.

Ale. Well then, don't you need an assistant ?

Cleost, I have plenty at home. I'll wait until the wedding

is over, and then come and see her. {turning to go)

Well, good-bye, and give my regards to your wife.

[exit into the doorway out of sight of

Aleesimus,

Ale. {blankly) What shall I do now ? {pauses) A nice
position I'm in, hang it ! thanks to that worthless,
toothless old goat that drew me into it. I pro-
mise the services of my wife as a sort of plate-
licker in general ! A nice fellow he is, sa3ring his
wife was going to invite her over ; and now she

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

atque edepol mirum ni subolet iam hoc huic vicinae

meae.
verum autem altrovorsum quom earn mecum

rationem puto,
si quid eius esset^ esset mecum postulatio.
ibo intro, ut subducam navim rusum in pulvinaria.
Cleost, lam hie est lepide ludificatus. miseri ut festinant

senes.
nunc ego ilium nihili decrepitum meum virum

veniat velim,
ut eum ludificem vicissim^ postquam hunc delusi

alterum. 560

nam ego aliquid contrahere cupio litigi inter eos

duos,
sed eccum incedit. at^ quom aspicias tristem^

frugi censeas.

III. 3.

Li/s. Stultitia magna est^ mea quidem sententia^

hominem amatorem uUum ad forum procedere^

in eum diem quoi quod amet in mundo siet ;

sicut ego feci stultus. contrivi diem^

dum asto advocatus cuidam cognato meo ;

quem hercle ego litem adeo perdidisse gaudeo^

ne me nequiquam sibi hodie advocaverit.

nam meo quidem animo qui advocatos advocet 570

rogitare oportet prius et percontarier,

adsitne ei animus necne adsit^ quem advocet ;

si neget adesse^ exanimatum amittat domum.

sed uxorem ante aedis eccam. ei misero mihi^

metuo ne non sit surda atque haec audiverit.

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CASINA

says she doesn't want her ! ( pauses ; then, excitedly)
Yes, by gad ! It*s a wonder if my fair neighbour
here hasn't got wind of the scheme already]
{meditatively) But then, on the other hand, when
I think it over, if it was anything like that, she'd
have had things to say to me. I'll go in and haul
the ship back to her berth. [exit into house.

ENTER Cleostrata from doorway.
! Cleost. There ! he's finely fooled ! What a flutter the
poor old wretches are in ! Now if that useless,
played-out old husband of mine would only come
along, so that 1 may fool him in his turn after
makhig a fool of this other one ! Oh, I just
yearn to get the two of them quarrelling, {looking
down the street) But there he comes marching up !
To look at that solemn face you'd think he
was a decent man. (retires into doorway)

Scene 3. enter Lysidamus, ireful.

Lys. It's perfectly asinine — that's what I call it — for
any man in love to set out for the forum the day
his sweetheart is all in trim for him ! And that's
what I did, ass that I am ! I've wasted the day
acting as counsellor for a relative of mine. He
lost his case, and, by Jove, I'm glad of it, I
certainly am, — to keep him from calling on me
to-day for counsel to no purpose. I tell you
what, in my opinion, a man that calls counsellors
ought to question them first and inquire whether
or not his counsellor has got his mind with him ;
if he says he hasn't, then he ought to send him
home un-minded. (starts , on seeing Cleostrata) But
there's my wife in front of the house ! Oh dear me !
I'm afraid she's not deaf and that she's heard all
this.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

CleosL Audivi ecastor cum malo magno tuo.

Lys, Accedam propius. quid agis^ mea festivitas ?

Cieost Te ecastor praestolabar.

Lys, lamne ornata res ?

iamne banc traduxti hue ad nos vicinam tuam^

quae te adiutaret ?
Cieost. Arcessivi^ ut iusseras. 580

verum hie sodalis tuos^ amicus optumus^

nescio quid se sufflavit uxori suae ;

negavit posse, quoniam arcesso, mittere.
Lys. Vitium tibi istuc maxumum est, blanda es parum.
CleosL Non matronarum officiumst, sed meretricium,

viris alienis, mi vir, subblandirier.

i tu atque arcesse illam ; ego intus quod factost
opus

volo accurare, mi vir.
Lys, Propera ergo.

Cieost Licet.

iam pol ego huic aliquem in pectus iniciam metum ;

misernmium hodie ego hunc habebo amasium. 590

III. 4.

Ale. Viso hue, amator si a foro rediit domum,

qui me atque uxorem ludiiicatust^ larua.

sed eccum ante aedis. ad te hercle ibam com-
modum.
Lys. Et hercle ego ad te. quid ais, vir minimi preti ?

quid tibi mandavi ? quid tecum oravi }
Ale, Quid est ?

Lys. Vt bene vocivas aedis fecisti mihi,

yGoogk

CASINA

Cleosi. (aside) Indeed I did hear^ and a high price you

shall pay for it !
Ufs, (aside) Til step up to her. (aloud) What are you

about^ light of my life ?
Cleost. Indeed, sir, it was you I was looking for.
Ufs. Well, are things ready ? Well, have you brought

your neighbour over here to help you ?
CleasL I invited her over as you told me. But your

crony here (pointing to house of Alcesimus), your

particular friend here, has given his wife a blowing

up df sdtn^ isort ; he said he could not send her

over at my invitation.
Lys, (disturbed) That's your greatest fault : you aren't

smooth-tongued enough.
Cleost. It is not a wife's business, but a strumpet's, my

dear, to be smooth-tongued and wheedle other

people's husbands. Go yourself and invite her ;

as for me, I must see to what needs to be done

inside, niy dear.
Lys. Do hurry up, then.
Cleost. All right, (aside) Oh, I'll give him a scare now I

It's a Very miserable man ril make our lover this

day f [exit.

Scene 4. enter Alcesimus from his house.

Ale, I'll step out and see if our gallant has got back
from the forum yet — ^making fools of me and my
wife, the old spectre ! Ah ! there he is, in front
of the hOttflie. (to Lysiddmus, angrify) By Jove !
sir, I was just this mcnnent going to look yt>u up.

Lys. (angrily) And I you, by Jove! See here, you
farthingsworth of a man ! What was it I left to
you ? What was it I begged you to do ?

Ale. Well, what >

Lys. A nice Way to empty your house for me ! A nice

VOL. II. F

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ut traduxisti hue ad iios uxorem tuam.

satin propter te pereo ego atque occasio ?
Ale. Quin tu suspendis te ? nempe tute dixeras,

tuam arcessituram esse uxorem uxorem meam. 600

Li/s, Ergo arcessivisse ait sese, et dixisse te

earn non missurum.
Ale. Quin eapse ultro mihi

negavit eius operam se morarier.
Lys. Quin eapse me adlegavit, qui istam arcesserem.
Ale. Quin nihili facio.
Lys. Quin me perdis.

Ale. Quin benest,

quin etiam diu morabor, quin cupio tibi —
Li/s. Quin —

Ale, Aliquid aegre facere.

Lys. Quin faeiam lubens.

numquam tibi hodie ^' quin ** erit plus quam mihi.
Ale, Quin hercle di te perdant postremo quidem.
Lys. Quid nunc? missurusne es ad me uxorem tuam ? 6lO
Ale. Ducas, easque in maxumam malam crucem

cum hac cum istac^ cumque arnica etiam tua.

abi et aliud cura, ego iam per hortum iussero

meam istuc transire uxorem ad uxorem tuam.
Z^j. Nunc tu mi amicus es in germanum modum,

qua ego hunc amorem mi esse avi dicam datum

aut quid ego umquam erga Venerem inique fecerim,

cui sic tot amanti mi obviam eveniant morae ?

attat,

quid illuc clamoris, opsecro, in nostrast domo ? 620

yGoogk

CASINA

way to take your wife over to my place ! So you've
put an end to me and my opportunity, have you ?

Ak, Be hanged to you ! You told me yourself that
your wife was going to invite my wife over, you
know you did.

Lys. Well, she says she did invite her over and you
said you wouldn't let her go.

Ah. But she herself told me of her own accord that
she didn't want her assistance.

Lys, But she herself commissioned me to invite her
over.

Ale. But I don't give a curse for that.

Lys. But you're killing me !

Ale. But . . . that's a blessing. But . . . I'll keep you
waiting a long while yet. But ... I just yearn

Lys. But

Ale. — to make some trouble for you.

Lys. But . . . I'll do the same for you, and gladly.
You shan't out-but me this day, never !

Ale. But . . . once and for all, by gad, — ^you be damned 1

Lys. Well now, are you going to send your wife over
to my house ?

A le. Take her, and go to the devil with her, and with your
own, and with that girl of yours, too ! (calming
donm) Off with you, and leave that to me. I'll
tell my wife to go through the garden at once
and join your wife.

Lys. (wringing his hand) Now youVe a real friend to
me ! [exit Alcesimus into his house.] I wonder
what omen crossed me when I got into this amour,
or what offence I've ever given Venus to have all
these things happening to delay me when I'm so
in love ? (an uproar within his house) Eh ? Eh ?
What's that hubbub in our house, for heaven's
sake ?

67
F 2

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TITUS MACCroS PLAUTUS

III. 5.

Par, NiiHa sum, nulla sum, tota, tota occi<}!,

cor metu mortuomst, membra miserae tremuot^

Hescio unde mixili, prA^&idi^ perfugi

mi aut opis copiam cd^picrem liut eitpetAift.

tanta facrtti mtnlo mira miris^ modii^

intus vidi, novam atque integram audaoiam.

cave tibi, Cleostrata, apscede ab ista, opseoro>

ne quid in te mali

faxit ira peri^i^.
eripite isti gladititn, qoaie suiist iihpoisr animi.
Lys, Nam quid est quod haec hue timida atque exani*

mata exsiluit foras ? 6S0

Pardalisca.
Par, Peiii, uttde meae UstiiTl^afftt aures stmitum >

Lys, ft^pice inodo ad me.
Par, O ere mi —

Lys, Quid tibi est } q.uid timida es ?

Par, Peffi.

Lys, Qiiid, periidti ?
Par. Peril, et tu periisti.

Lys, A, perii ? quid ita ?

Par, Vae tibi.
Lys, Immo; v»e tibi sit.

Par. Ne cadattt, aiimbo, tene me.

Lys, Quidqutd est, elocjuere inihi cito.
Par, Contine peGttts>

face ventum, amabo, pallio.
6&

yGoogk

CASINA

CNTSR PariaUsca from the house^ apparently in
Sceixip 5. A PANIC.

Par, I'xQlosJbl Tin lost! I'm dead^ dead^ absolutely
dead ! My beftrt's stopped heatiog for fear ! Oh
dear me, Tm all of a tremble ! I don't know
where to find help, shelter, safety ; I don't know
where to look for aid ! Such amazing doings a^ I
did see in there just now, perfecdy amazing!
Such strange, unheard of boldness! {calling at
door) For heaven's sake, ma'am, k>ok «tit for
yourself, keep *wfty from her, or she'll do you
some injury in her fit of fiiry ! Snatch the sword
9M9,y from h^r ! She's boside herself !

hfs, (aside) Why, what's wjwg,— with Jtier bouncing
out here half dead with fright? {aloud) Par-
dalisca !

Far, (ipitk a start) Oh-h-h ! (tragicatli^, with a sly grin
at the audience) Whence comes that sound my ears
do receive?

Lys, {peevishly Leek thia way, will you }

Par, Oh, my dear master

Lys. Wh^ nils yw ? Whut m^ you frightened about ?

Par, I'm killed I

Lys, What? KiUed?

Par. KiUed ! And you're killed, too !

Ijfs. Eh? I'm killed? How 50?

Par. (pil!^^gfy) Alas for you !

Lys. No^ no^ make it alas for yourself.

Par. (tottering toward him) Hold me, oh do^ or I'll
drop!

Lys. (propping her up gingerly) Whatever it is, out with
it, quick !

Par. (feebly) Put your arm around my . . . waist . . .
fan me, oh do . . . with your ^oakl

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys. Timeo hoc negoti quid siet,

nisi haec meraclo se uspiam percussit flore Liberi. 637-
Par, Optine auris, amabo. [640

Lys, I in malam a me crucem,

pectus, auris, caput teque di perduint,
nam nisi ex te scio, quidquid hoc est, eito, hoc
iam tibi istuc cerebrum dispercutiam, excetra tu,
ludibrio pessuma adhue quae me habuisti.
Par, Ere mi —

Lys, Quid vis mea me ancilla ?

Par, Nimium saevis.

Lys, Numero dicis.

sed hoc quidquid est eloquere, in pauca confer,
quid intus tumulti fuit?
Par. Scibis, audi,

malum pessumumque hie

modo intus apud nos 649> 650
tua ancilla hoc pacto exordiri coepit,
quod haud Atticam condecet disciplinam.
Lys, Quid est id ?

Par, Timor praepedit dicto linguae.

Lys, Possum scire ego istuc ex te quid

negotist?
Par, Dicam.

tua ancilla, quam tu tuo vilico vis
dare uxorem, ea intus —
Lys, Quid intus ? quid est ?

Par, Imitatur malarum malam disciplinam,

viro quae suo interminetur ; vitam —
Lys, Quid ergo ?
Par, Ah —

Lys, Quid est ?

yGoogk

CASINA

Lys, {aside, as he fans her) I'm worried about the
meaning of this — unless she has overcome herself
somewhere with too strong a sniff of the flower of
Bacchus.

Par, Hold my . . . ears, sir, oh do !

Lys, (indignantly pushing her away) Get to the deuce
away from me ! Be damned to you — waist, ears,
head, and all ! Now if you don't hurry up and
tell me what the matter is, I'll take this stick this
moment and knock your brains out, you serpent
— ^making a fool of me all this while, you slut !

Par, (protestingly) My dear master

Lys, {hotly) What do you want, my dear maid ?

Par, You're too hard on me.

lAfs, {lifting his cane significantly) You're saying that
too soon. But out with it, whatever it is. Make
; it short. What was the disturbance inside }

Par, You'll learn, sir. Listen. It was awful, atrocious
— when we were inside there just now — to see
how your maidservant began to cut up, without
any regard at all for Attic manners.

Lys, What's all this ?

Par, {swaying toward him) I'm so scared 1 can't use my
tongue properly.

Lys, {lifting his cane again) Can I learn from you what
the matter is }

Par, I'll tell you. Your maidservant that you want to
marry to your bailiff, well, inside she

Lys, What inside } What is it ?

Par, She's following the wicked manners of wicked
women and threatening her own husband. It's
his life

Lys. (alarmed) Well,'what, what ?

Par. Ah-h !

Lys, What is it ?
^ 71

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Par, Interemere

ait velle vitam^

gladium *-*-
Lys. Hem.

Par, Gladium —

Lys, Quid eum gladium ? 660

Par, Habct.

Lys, £i misero mihi^ cur eum habet ?

Par, Insectatur omnis

domi per aedis^
nee quemquam prope ad

se fflfiit acUre ;

ita omnes sub arcis^ sub lectis latentes

metu mussitant.
Lys, Ocoidi atque interii.

quid illi obiectumst mali tarn repente ?
Par, Insanit.

Lys, Scelestissimum me esse credo.

Par, Immo si seias dicta quae dixit hodie -r*

Lys, Istuc expeto scire, quid dixit ?

Par, AudL

per omnis deos et deas deieravit, 670

occisuram eum hac nocte quieum oub^ret.
Lys, _ Men occidet ?

Par, An quippiam ad te attinet ?

Lys, Vah.

Par, Quid cum ea negoti

tibist?
Lys, Peccavi :

illuc dicere^ vilicum^ volebam.
Par, Sci^is de via in semitam degredere.

Lys, Numquid mihi minatur ?

Par, Tibi infesta solist

plus quam cuiquam
LyM, Quam ob rem ?

yGoogk

CASINA

T-^'n his life dkt wants to take^ so she says.

There she is, a sword. ■»

Whew!

— a sword

Whab aboat this aword ?

— in her hand !

Lord preserve us ! What has she got that for ?

She's chasing everyone through the house there,

and won't let a soul come near her; they're

hiding under chests and couches afraid to breathe

a word.
Lys, (ande) Death and dapanation ! (aloud) What the

deuce has got into her all of a awbdden this

way?
Par, She's gone crazy.

h/s, (aside) If I'm not the oursedest wretch aliv^ i
Par. But oh, sir, if you only knew what she said this

day

Lys. That's what Pm anxious to know. What did she

say .5*
Par. listen, sir. She swore by all the powers above

she would murder the man she spent this night

with.
Lys. (jumping) Murder me }
Par. {guikleasiy) It doesn't eoncem you at all, does it,

sir?
Lys. (aside) Oh, dash it !
Par. What have you got to do with her, sir ?
Lys. I made a mistake-^the bailifi^ I meant to say.
Par. (aside) You're leaving the l^ghway for the by-
path deliberately.
Lys. She's not threatening me, is she ?
Par. You are the very one she's wild at, sir, you

especially.
Lys, (very anxious) What for ?

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Par, Quia se des uxorem Olympioni,

neque se tuam nee se suam neque viri vitam

sinere in
crastinum protolli. id hue

missa sum tibi ut dicerem, 679, 680
ab ea uti caveas tibi.
Lys, - Perii herele ego miser.

Par. Dignus es.

Lys, Neque est neque fuit me senex quisquam

amator

adaeque miser.
Par. Ludo ego hunc facete ; 683-685

nam quae facta dixi omnia huic falsa dixi.
era atque haee dolum ex proxumo hunc

protulerunt,
ego hunc missa sum ludere.
Lys, Heus Pardalisca^

Par, Quid est?

Lys. Est —

Par. Quid ?

Lys. Est quod volo exquirere ex te.

Par. Moram offers mihi.

Lys. At tu mihi offers maerorem. 690

sed etiamne habet

nunc Casina gladium?
Par. Habet, sed duos.

Lys, Quid duos }

Par, Altero te

occisurum ait, altero vilicum hodie.
Lys. Occisissimus sum omnium qui vivont.

loricam induam mi optumum esse opinor.
quid uxor mea ? non adiit atque ademit ?
Par, Nemo audet prope accedere.

Lys. Exoret.

yGoogk

CASINA

Par. Seeing you want to marry her to Olympio, she
vows she won t let you or herself or her husband
live through the night. I was sent out here to
tell you this, so that you may be on your guard
against her.
, Z^. Oh, merciful heavens ! This is awful !
I Par. (aside) Serves you right !

\Lys, (aside) Of all unlucky old lovers living, or that
F ever lived !

' Par, (io audience) How finely Fm fooling him ! Why,
this story of mine has been a lie from first to last.
Mistress and her next door neighbour here hatched
this trick, and I was sent out to play it on him.

Lys. I say, Pardalisca !

Par, What is it, sir }

hfs. There's (hesitates)

Par. What?

Lys, There's something I want to ask of you.

Par. You're delajdng me, sir ?

Lys, Well, you're distressing me. But has Casina still
got the (shaking) sword ?

Par^ Indeed she has — ^two of them.

Lys. Why two ?

Par, She says she'll murder you with one and the
bailiff with the other this very day.

Lys. (trying to seem nonchalant) I'm the most murdered
man alive ! The best thing I can do, I fancy, is to
put on a breastplate. How about my wife } Didn't
she go up and take them away }

Par, Not a'soul dares get near her, sir.

Lms^ She should try]^persuasion.

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Par, Orat ;

negat ponere alio modo uUo profecto,
nisi se sciat vilico non datum iri.
Lys. Atque ingratiis^ quia non volt, nubet hodie. 700

nam quor non ego id perpetrem quod coepi;
ut nubat mihi ? illud

quidem vol^bam,
nostro vilico.
Par, Saepicule peccas.

Ia/s, Timor praepedit verba, verum, obsecro te,

die med uxorem orare ut exoret illam,
gladium ut ponat et redire me intro ut liceat.
Par, Njtfitiftbo,

Lys. Et tu orato.
Par, Et ego orabo.

Lys, At blande orato, ut soles, sed aiid^i?

si effexis hocj solisas tibi

dabo, tX ilOUlu9i in digitum
auHMm et hom- pluruma.
Par, Operam dabo.

Lys. Face ut impetres. 710

Par. Eo nunciam, nisi quippiam

remorare me.
Lys, Abi et cura.

redit eccum tandem opsonatu mens adiutor^ pom-
pam ducit. 713-719

III. 6.

OL Vide, fur, ut sentis sub sjgnis ducas.
Cit, Qui vero hi sunt sentis ? 720

yGoogk

CASINA

Par. So she doe»; but Cftsiaa s^l'eara die sinifply won't
put them down without knowing she's not to be
given to the bailiff.

Ia/8, (wiih great firmness) Well, willy nilly, just because
she objects, she shall many him tO-day. Pot why
shouldn't I carry out my plan and have her marry
me? {hMsUfy} Thai is, our btJMW, I meant to say.
T. (guileless again) You make mistakes prc^y often,

sir.
s, (scanning her face sharply) I'm so scared I can't
talk properly. But for heaven's sake tell my wife
I beg her to induce the girl to put down the
sword and let me go back inside.

Pt^. Yes> Si*.

Ly*. And you beg her, too.

Par, And I'll beg her, too.

Lys, Yes, but beg her in that coaxing way of yours.
(Pardalisca moves toward the d6or) But listen to
this, will you ? If you succeed, I'll give you some
sandals and ... a gold ring for your finger and
lotsof Aice thiflgs.

Par, 111 do what I can, sir.

Lys. See that you persuade her.

Par. I'll go this moment — ^unless you contrive to hinder
me, sir.

Lys. Go along and see to it. [exit Pardalisca.'] (looking
donm the street) Ah ! there comes my aide-de-camp
at last with the provisions^. Quite a tmin he
leads!

ENTER Otympio, Citrio, and his assistants with
Scene 6. edibles.

01. (to Citrio) See here, thief, march your briars

(pointing to assistants) well under your banners.
Cit. Briart, indeed ? How m ?

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

OL Quia quod tetigere, ilico rapiunt, si eas ereptum,

ilico scindunt ;
ita quoquo adveniunt, ubiubi sunt, duplici damno

dominos multant.
Cit Heia.
01, Attat. cesso magnufice patricieque amicirier

atque ita ero

meo ire advorsum ?
Lys, Bone vir, salve.
01 Fateor.

Lys, Quid fit?

01. Tuamas; ego esurio et sitio. 724-725

Lys, Lepide excuratus incessisti.
OL Aha, hodie^

Lys. Mane vero, quamquam fastidis.
OL Fu fu, fetet tuos mihi sermo.

Lys, Quae res?

Haec res. etiamne adstas ? enim vero

Lys.

Dabo tibi

ut ego opinor, nisi resistis.

*0 Zcv,

potin a me abeas.

nisi me vis

Lys.

vomere hodie ?
Mane.

Quid est ? quis hie est homo ?
Erus sum.

730

^ Leo notes lacuna here : sum SardaJiapallua Lindsay.
78

yGoogk

CASINA

01. Because the moment they touch a thing they
cling to it ; the moment you go to pull it away,
there you are — torn to tatters. Whatever place
they go to, wherever they are, they do double
damage to the head of the house.

CiL {in protest) Oh, I say !

01. (aside, seeing Lysidamus) Oho ! Now to clothe

myself in a grand, patrician style, and so go to
meet my master, {arranges his clothes and steps
jauntily up to Lysidamus)

Lys. Ah, my noble fellow !

01. I confess it.

Lys, What's the news ?

01. You are in love ; I am hungry and thirsty.

Lys. {with a glance at the viands) You have come hand-
somely provided for.

01. {^^ng the food fondly) Ah-h, to-day {moves

toward house)

Lys. Now, now, wait a moment, even though you are
so superior.

01. Faugh ! faugh ! Your talk offends my nostrils.

Lys. What ails you ?

01. {pointing to provisions) This. Still standing there ?
My word ! C*est trop d'ennui que tu me causes.
(moves on toward house)

Lys. I will cause you de grandes douleurs^ Tm thinking,
unless you stand still, (seizes him)

01. {releasing himself) Mon Dieu ! Get away from me,
can't you, — unless you want to set me spewing I
(moves on again)

Lys. Wait.

01. (halting) Well? (looking Lysidamus over contemp-

tuously) Who is this fellow ?

Lys. The master of the house.

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

01.

Qiik erus ?

Lys,

Cuius tu serv6*ff.

Servos ego.

Lys,

Atqtie meus. 733-735

Non sum ego liber ?
memento, memento.

Lys.

Mane atque asta.

01.

Omitle*

Lys.

Servos sum tuos.

01.

Optumest.

Lys.

Opsecro te>
Olympisce mi, mi pater, mi paf^yne.

Em,
s«qp«sf sane.

Lys.

Tuos sum equidem. 740

01.

Quid mi opUst servo tam neqnam ?

Lys.

Quid nunc ? quam mox reereas me }

01.

Cena modo si sit coeta.

Ufs.

Hisce ergo abeant.

01.

Propere eito intro ite et eito deprop^ate. 744, 745

ego

iam iiltus erd, facite debam mihi ut ebriit sit.
sed lepide mtideque volo»,

nil mordr bdH)aifi<*b blittfO.
Stasne eti«m ? i sis, eg6 hie habe^E).

numdUid est cetefutn qubd fholrae sit ?

Dfs.

Gladlufn CkiSinaiii intus habere ait.

qui me atque te interimat.

01.

Scio. sic sine habere ; 750

nugas agunt. novi

ego illas malas m^rdes.

quin tu i modo m«fcam

domum.

yGoogk

CASINA

What master ?

The one you are the slave of.

A slave ? I ?

Yes, and mine.

Am I not a free man ? {dangerously) Remember,

remember ! {moves toward house again)

Wait ! Stop ! {clutches him)

Let me be. {shakes him qff)

{humbly) I am your sluve.

{somewhat molUjfied) Very good.

My dear, dear Olympio, my father, my patron, I

pray you !

There ! You really show sense.

I am yours, indeed I lun.

What use have I for such a worthless slave }

VfeVi? Well? How 30on will you make a new

man of me ?
OL If dinner were only cooked !

L^s^, {pointing to Citrio and his assistants) Have these

fellows go in, then.
OL {'^og^fyi to cooks) Quick ! Hurry inside, you, and

hurry things up^ Quick ! I shall be in shortly :

see you get mfi up a dinner \hat is positively

dnmk. A daiaty> el^nt qg^, mind ! None of

your flat Roiio^ii &re for me. {to Citrio) Still

standing there ? Yqu kindly be off ! I stay here

myself, [exeunt cooks into house.] {tq Lysida-

mus) Nothing else to delay us, is there ?
Lys, {timidly, pointing to the house) She says Casina has

a sword in there to butcher us both with.
01. {sceptically) I see. Let her keep on having it.

Mere nonseaf e ! Niee articles those women are —

I kmow them ! Come on, you ju^t go home with

me.

VOL. II. G

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys, At pol malum metuo.

i tu modo, perspicito prius

quid intus agatur.
OL Tam mihi mea vita

quam tua tibi carast.
verum i modo.
Lys. Si tu iubes,

em ibitur tecum.

ACTVS IV

Par, Nee pol ego Nemeae credo neque ego Olym-

piae
neque usquam ludos tam festivos fieri 760

quam hie intus fiunt ludi ludificabiles
seni nostro et nostro Oljonpioni vilico.
omnes festinant intus totis aedibus^
senex in culina clamat^ hortatur coquos :
*^ quin agitis hodie ? quin datis, si quid datis ?
properate, cenam iam esse coctam oportuit.*'
vilicus is autem cum corona, candide
vestitus, lautus exornatusque ambulat.
illae autem armigerum in cubiculo exornant

duae^
quem dent pro Casina nuptum nostro vilico. 770
sed nimium lepide dissimulant^ quasi nil sciant
fore huius quod futurumst ; digne autem coqui
nimis lepide ei rei dant operam, ne cenet senex,
aulas pervortunt, ignem restingunt aqua —
82

yGoogk

CASINA

Lys. But good heavens ! Yxa afraid of trouble ! Just

you go ; you reconnoitre and see what is happening

inside.
01, (backing away) I think as much of my life as you

do of yours, {boldly) However, {pushing Lysidamus

ahead of him) just you go.
Lys, (boldly) If you say the word, — well now, go it is —

(pushing Olympio ahead) with you.

[exeunt into house, each endeavouring to be
hindmost.

ACT IV

(An hour has elapsed)

ENTER Pardalisca, hilarious.

Par, Oh, I don*t believe they ever have games at
Nemea, or at Oljmipia, either, or anywhere, as
lively as the games they're playing inside here on
our old man and our bailiff Oljnnpio. Everyone is
bustling about all over the house ; the old man is
clamouring in the kitchen, urging on the cooks —
^* Why don t you begin to do something ? Why
don't you give us our meal, if you have any to give ?
Hurry up ! Dinner ought to have been cooked by
this time ! " As for the bailiff, he is parading around
with 41 garland and white clothes on, all spick and
span. And the two ladies — they're in a bedroom
decking out the orderly to be our bailiff's wife in
place of Casina. But oh ! the lovely way they do
pretend — just as if they had no idea what is going
to happen ! And then the cooks, too, are doing
their part, and, my ! the lovely way they work to
keep the old man from dining ! They upset the
pots, pour water on the fire — do anjrthing the

83
G 2

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

illanun orafcu &cniiit; niae autem senftm
eopiuirt extnidere incenatwn ex aedibiiSy
ut ipsae solae ventres distendant suos.
novi ego illas ambestrices : corbitam eibi
comesse possunt. sed aperitur ostium.

IV. 2.

Lys, Si sapitis^ vrxor^ tos tamen cenabitis^ 780

cena ubi erit cocta ; ego ruri cenavero.

nam novom maritum et novam nuptam volo

rus prosequi^ novi hominum mores maleficos^

ne quis eam abripiat. facite vdstro animo volup.

sed properate istum atque istam actutum
emittere,

tandem nt ^ veniamus luci ; ego eras hie ero.

eras hi^suero^ uxor^ ego tamen convivimn.
Par, Fit qnod futnmm dixi : ineenatum senem

foras extradunt muHeres.
Lys, Quid tu hie agis ?

Par, Ego eo quo me ipsa misit.

Lys, Veron ?

Par. Serio. 790

Lys. Quid hie speculare ?

Par. Nil equidem speculor.

Lys. AIh.

tn hie eunctas^ intns alii festinant.
Par. Eo.

Lys. Abi hinc sis ergo^ pessumarum pessuma.

iamne abiit illaec ? dicere hie quidvis licet.

qui amatj tamen hercle, si esurit, nullum esurit.

^ Corrupt (Leo) : (rua) lud MualUr.
84

yGoogk

CASINA

lAdies ask. As ior them^ they wtt bent efn driving
the old man out of the house wiUxrat his dinner^
so that they can swell their own stomachs all by
themselves. I know them^ the gluttonesses. They
can consume a whole cargo of food, (listening)
But the door's opening !

Scene 2, enter Li/sidmnus into doorway.

Li^s. (wUh forced composure y to Cleostrata within) It would
be well, my dear, for you ladies to dine, just the
same, when dinner is ready ; I shall dine at the
farm. I wirfi to escort the bride and groom to
the farm, knowing as I do what unpdnc^led
revues there Are about, so that no one shall
abduct her. Enjoy yourselves. But do hurry up
and send the pair of them out at once, so tliat we
may manage to arrive before dark. I shall be
here to-morrow. To-morrow, my dear, I shall
have my share of the entertainment.

Par. (tmde) Ju«t fts I said, — the Iftdias are driving liie
old man out without his dinner.

Li^s. (seeing her) What are you doing Jftere }

Par. Going where mistress sent me, sir.

Li/s, (suspicious) Really.'^

Par. Truly.

Li/s. What are you spying here for }

Par, Indeed, I mn n^ 9pfitkg at aU.

Li^s. (pointing to door) Begone ! Here you arc loitering,
and everyone else bustling about iii^de.

Par. I am goings sir. (moves slowly toward door)

Lys. Well then, kindly begone, you consummate slut !

[EXIT PardaUsca.'] (looking after her) Gone now,
tas she ? Now I can say what I Hke. A man in
loT« tnay be famishing a^ yet want no food at all,

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

sed eccum progreditur cum corona et lampade
meus socius, compar, commaritus vilicus.

IV. 3.

OL Age tibicen, dum illam educunt hue novam nuptam

foras,
suavi cantu concelebra omnem hanc plateam

hymenaeo.

hymen hjrmenaee o hymen. 800

Li/s. Quid agis, mea salus ?

OL Esurio hercle, atque adeo hau salubriter.

L^8. At ego amo.
OL At ego hercle nihili facio. tibi amor

pro cibost,
mihi ieiunitate iam dudum intestina murmurant.
Lys, Nam quid illaec nunc tarn diu intus remorantur

remeligines ?
quasi ob industriam^ quanto ego plus propero^

procedit minus.
OL Quid si etiam suffundam hymenaeum, si qui citius

prodeant }
Lys, Censeo, et ego te adiutabo in nuptiis communibus.
Lys, OL Hymen h3rmenaee o hymen.

Lys, Perii hercle ego miser, dirumpi hjnnenaeum can-

tando licet ;
illo morbo quo dirumpi cupio, non est copia. 810

OL Edepol ne tu, si equos esses, esses indomabilis.
Lys, Quo argumento }
OL Nimis tenax es.

Lys. Num me expertu's uspiam }

yGoogk

CASINA

by Jove ! {as the door opens) But ah ! there he
comes with garland and torch — my ally, comrade^
and fellow-bridegroom of a bailiff!

Scene 3. enter Olympio.

01, (to the musician on the stage) Come, flutist, while

they bring out the bride, make the whole
street here ring with a sweet nuptial song for me.
{singing as the musician plains the wedding song)
Hymen hymeneal. Hymen O !

JL^s. How are you, my saviour ?

OL {sour) Hungry, by gad ! and there's no safety in

it, either !

L^s, But as for me, Fm in love.

OL But I don't give a hang for that, by gad ! Love

is food for you ; as for me, my insides have been
rumbling with emptiness this long time.

Li/s. Now what makes those dawdlers dally so long in
there ? It almost seems intentional — the more 1
hurry, the less headway we make.

OL What if I strike up the w^edding song again, and

see if that will bring them out sooner ?

Li/s. Just the thing ! And I'll join in, it being our
mutual wedding.

L^s. Sf OL {lusUly) Hjmien hjmieneal. Hymen O !

La^s. {after louder repetitions of the strain) Oh Lord, this
is awful ! I can sing the hymeneal song till I
burst, and still have no chance to burst myself the
way I long to.

OL My word ! If you were a horse, you'd be untam-

able, you surely would.

Lys, For what reason ?

01. You're so precious hard to hold.

Lys, You never tested me, did you }

yGoogk

TITUS MAGCIUS PLAUTUS

01. Di melius foiiiant. sed cr^puit o^uifi^ exitttr fbras.
Lys, Di hferde itte cttpiunt sei^atum.

IV. 4.

Chal. lam oboluit Caskius procuL^

Par. Sensim supera t<A\^ limen pedes^ mea n6?rli

nupta ;
sospes iter incipe hoc, titi viro tuo
semper sis superstes,
tuaque ut potior pollentia sit vincasque virum vic-

trixque sies,
tua vox superet tuomque kuperium^ vir te vestiat^
tu viiUm despolies.

no^tuque et diu ut viro snbdola sis, 820

ap^ecto, lAeinentb.
01. Mal6 miixutno suo herein ilico, ubi tantilhim pee-

cassit. ^22-825

Lys. Tace.
01. Non taceo.

Lys. Quae res ?

01. Mala

malae male mdnstrat.
Lys. Facids tu banc rem mi ex patata imfMH^tatti.

id <|uaerunt volunt, haec ut infecta fkdant.
Par, Age Olympio, quando vis, uxorem

accipe banc ab nobis. 830

OL Date ergo, daturae

si umquam estis hodi^.
Lys. Abite intro.

* iam . , . proctU given to Chalhms by Lindsay.
88

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CASINA

01 Gi>d forbid ! (Hitening) But the door creaked !

Out they come !
Ly«. By Jove, the gods are ifrtth ttte I

ENTER Pardalisca, maids, and ChatimmSy <;lothed and

VEILED AS A BRIDE, INTO THE DOORWAY. ClcOStrcUa

Scene 4. and Myrrhina sItand back of them.

ChaL (aside) He's had a distant Siriff of Cosinus * ahready.
Far. (as she and the maids support Ckalinus) Gently now,
raise your feet above the threshold,* my new
bride; begin this jomney safely, so as to stand
above your husband always, and get the upper
hand of him, and master him and be the mistress,
and make your word and your authority final.
Let him clothe you, and you strip him. Night
and day you are to dece^e him ; remember that,
I beg you.

OL (to Lysidamusy angrily) By gad, she'll pay dear for

it the minute she nri^bfchaves the least bit.

Lys, Hush !

01. I won't.

Lys. What ails you ?

OL The vile creature is giving the vile girl vile
advice !

Lys, (irying to calm him) You'll unsettle everything I've
got settled. This is what they are after, what
they want, — to undo all we've done.

Par, Come, Oljmipio, since jrou wish it, receive your
Wife here from us.

01. (approaching) Give her to me, then, if you ever
intend to do so. {takes CkaUnusJhmi the maids)

Lys. (to Pardalisca and the other maids) You may go
inside.

^ A masculine Gasina.

^ It was a bad omen for the bride to touch the threshold.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Par. Amabo^ integrae atque imperitae huic

impcrcito.
01. Futurum est

Par. Valete.

01. Ite iam.

Ia/s. Ite.

Par. Iam valete.

Lift. lamne abscessit uxor ?

01, Domist^ ne time.

Lifs. Euax^

nunc pol demum ego sum liber,
meum eorculum^ melculum^ verculum.
01. Heus tu,

malo^ si sapies, cavebis ;
meast haec.
Ly#. Scio^ sed meus fructus est prior.

01. Tene banc lampadem.
Li/s. Immo

ego banc tenebo. 840

Venus multipotens, bona multa mihi
dedisti; huius cum copiam mihi dedisti.
01. O

corpusculura malaculum^
mea uxorcula. quae res }
lAfs. Quid est ?

01. Institit plantam

quasi luca bos.
Lya, Tace sis^

nebula baud est mollis aeque atque huius
pectus est.
01. Edepol papillam bellulam — ei misero mihi.

Lys. Quid est }

01. Pectus mi icit non cubito, verum ariete.

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CASINA

{to Olympio) Now do, do be gentle with this

innocent, ingenuous maiden.

I will be.

Good-bye !

{to the women) You may go now.

{to the women, who still linger) You may go.

Well, good-bye. [exeunt women.

(nervousli/) Has my wife left yet ?

She's in the house ; never fear.

(dancing excitedly around the bride) Hurrah ! Now

I am a free man at last, by gad ! Oh, my little

sweetheart, my little honey, my little flower of

spring !
01. Hey, you ! You'll look out for trouble, if you've

got any sense. This girl is mine.
Lys, I know, but the first fruits are mine.
0/. You hold this torch.

Li/s. (rejecting it) Oh, no ! I'll hold this one. {sidling

up to the bride delightedly) Venus, mighty Venus,

what a treasure thou gavest me when thou gavest

me possession of this maiden !
01. {putting his arm about the brides waist) Oh, your

tender, tender little body, my dear little wife !

(jumping) What the deuce !
Lys. What is it ?
01. {hopping around on one leg) She came down on my

foot like an elephant !
Lys. You kindly shut up. Her breast is softer than a

cloud.
01. {approaching the bride again) My word ! What a

pretty little bust — {a quick motion on the bride s

part : he staggei's back) Ouch ! Oh Lord !
Lys. What is it ?
01. (breathless) She hit me in . . . the chest ... it wasn't

an . . . elbow ... it was a . . . battering ram !

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys, Quid tu ergo hanc^ quaeso^ tractas titm dura

manu ? 850

at mihi, qui belle hanc tracto, non bellum fadt.
OL Vah.

La^s. Quid negotist ?

OL Opsecro, ut valentulast,

paene exposivit cubito.
Lys. Cubitum ergo ire roH.

OL Quin imus ergo ?

Lys. I, bdle belliatula.

A€TVS V

Myrr. Acceptae bene et commode eximus intus

ludos visere hue in viam nuptialis.
nUmquam ecastor ullo die risi adaeque^
neque hoc quod relicuom est plus risuram
opinor.
Par. Lubet Chalinum quid agat scire, novom nuptum

cum novo marito.
Myrr, Nee fallaciam astutiorem uUus fecit 860

poeta, atque ut haec est fabre facta ab nobis.
CleosL Optunso ore nunc pervelim progrediri

senem, quo senex nequior nullus vivit.
ne ilium quidem
nequiorem arbitror

esse, qui locmn
praebet illi.^ te nunc praesidem
volo hie, Pardalisca, esse> qui hinc exeat
eum ut ludibrio habeas.
Par. Libens fecero et solens.

Leo notes lacuna here : l^Jbervm Sehoell.

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CASINA

Lys, Man «live^ why do you h«adle her so tcnghly,

then ? Now as for me^ I give her a gentki cmress

(illustrates) and she doesn't care.
01. (attempting to (2a Ukemse and reeling as the bride's

arm swings) Woof !
Lffs, What's the matter ? •
01. For heaven's sake I What a powerful . . . little

thing she is ! She nearly . . . bod me down on

my back . . . with her elbow !
L^s. (chuckling) A hint she wants to lie down herself.
01, Why don't we go, then ?

Lifs. (to the bride fondly, as he leads her to Alcesimus*s

house] Step along prettily, my pretty dear.

[bxeunt.

ACT V
{Ha{fan kour km elapsed.)
ENTER Cleostraia, Myrrhma, and PardaUsea.
Myrr, After our nice, enjoyable entertainment inside,
here we are out on the street to watch the
wedding games. Ofa dear, I never laughed so
much in idl my life ! And I don't believe I shall
ever laugh more in time to come.
Par. {tittering) I should like to know what Chalinus is

doing — ^the bridegroom and his new husband !
Myrr. There never was a playwright invented a cleverer

plot than this masterpiece of ours.
Cleost. Oh, if he would onfy come along with his face
fairly battered, the old wretch ! There's not a
worse one alive ! Not even his obliging host, in
my opinion. Pardalisea, I want you to b« on
gBord here now, so as to make fim of the man
that comes out.
Par. So I will, gladly. That's my way.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Myrr.

^spectato hinc omnia; intus quid agant^

loquere.

870

Par.

2 Pone me, amabo.

Myrr,

Et ibi licet audaelus
quae veils libere

proloqui.

Par.

Tace,
vostra foris crepuit.

V. 2.

01, Neque quo fugiam neque ubi lateam neque hoc

dedecus quo modo celem
scio, tantum erus atque ego flagitio superavimus

nuptiis nostris,
ita nunc pudeo atque ita nunc paveo atque ita

inridiculo sumus ambo.
sed ego insipiens nova nunc facio; pudet quern

prius non puditum umquamst.
operam date, dum mea facta itero; est operae

pretium auribus accipere,
ita ridicula auditu, iteratu ea sunt quae ego Intus

turbavi. 880

ubi Intro banc novam nuptam deduxi, recta via in

conclave abduxi.
sed tenebrae ibi erant tamquam in puteo ; dum

senex abest " decumbe ** inquam.
conloco fulcio mollio blandior,
ut prior quam senex nuptias perpetrem.
tardus esse ilico coepi, quoniam ^
respecto identidem, ne senex *

^ Leo notes lacuna here : Inspectato SchoelL

' Leo notes lacuna here : loquere . . . licet avdcicius

Lindsay.

* Leo notes lacuna here: one of the many hopeless

lacunae in Act V.

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CASINA

Myrr, {stationing Pardalisca in her doorway) You watch

everything from here ; tell us what they do inside.

{peeps in)
Par. Get behind me, there's a dear lady.
Myrr. (drawing hack) And then you needn't be afraid to

speak your mind freely.
Par, Hush ! Your door creaked ! (the three women rush

into Cleostraia's doorway)

ENTER Olympio, much dishevelled, from the
Scene 2. house.

O/. Where to run, or to bury myself, or how to hide

my infamy, I don't know ! Oh, the disgrace
master and I have covered ourselves with, by this
marriage of ours ! The shame of it ! And the
fright Tm in ! And the way folks will laugh at
the pair of us ! (pauses) But this is something
new for me, ass that I am^— I'm ashamed, and I
never was ashamed before, (to audience) Atten-
tion, now, while I give you an account of myself;
it is worth your while to lend your ears. Oh, it's
comical to hear of, and to tell of — ^the mess I
made of things in there I When I led this bride
of mine inside I took her straight off to a chamber.
But it was dark as a dungeon. " Make yourself
comfortable on the couch," says I, before the old
man had come. I get her placed, put cushions back
of her, soothe her, say soft things to her, so as to
get ahead of the old man. I begin to slow down
at once, since « « « I keep looking around for
fear the old man ♦ ♦ ♦ First, to make her feel

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

inleeebram stupri piin<dpio eam savium p<MCO,

reppulit xnihi manuwv

neque enim dare sibi

savimn me sivit.

enim iam magis adpropero^ magis iam libet in

Casinam inruere ^ 889,

890

eupio illam operam seni surripcre, forem obdo^ ne

senex me oj^rimeret.

Myrr.

Agedum^ tu adi hunc.

Cleost

Opsecro,

ubi tua nova miptaet ?

01.

Perii hercle ego, Hianif)esta res.

CUost

Onmem ordine rem 993-
fateri ergo aequom est. qnid intus agitur?
quid agit Casina ?
satin morigera est ?

-895

Pudet dicere.

CleosU

Memora ordine, ut occeperas.

Pudet hercle.

Cleost.

Age audacter ^ 899,
postquam decubuisti, inde rolo memorare quid est
factum^

900

iflagitiutt est

Cleost.

Cavebunt qui audierint faciant ^

^ hoc magnus est.

Cleost

Perdis. quin tu pergis ?

Vbi

^ us suptus porro ^ 904,

905

Cleost

Quid?

Babae.

Cleost

Quid?

Papae.

Cleost

^est?

Qh, erat ma^ummn.

* Leo notes lacuna here.
96

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CASINA

affectioiiate^ I ask her for a nice long kiss. She
pushed my arm away ; not a bit of a nice long
kiss would she let me give her. Now I get more
urgent ; now I'm more eager to have my Casina
♦ ♦ * I long to make the old man take second
place ; I bolt the door so that he won't rush in
and surprise me.

Myrr. {to Cleostrata) Come, now ; you go up to him.

CleosL (stepping out from the doonvay) Where is your
bride, for heaven's sake ?

01 {half aside) Oh Lord ! I'm done for ! It's all out !

Cleost. Then you might as well make a clean breast of
everything. What is going on inside ? What is
Casina doing ? Is she duly compliant ?

01. {in distress) Vm. ashamed ... to tell.

Cleost. Go on with your story as you had begun.

OL Oh Lord ! I'm ashamed !

Cleost, Come, boldly now ♦ ♦ ♦ After you got on the
couch — I want you to go on with the account
from there ♦ ♦ ♦

OL « « « It's scandalous !

Cleost. {firmly) It will be a good lesson for those that
hear you. * ♦ ♦

01. Oh, the shame of it !

Cleost. (impatient) Botheration ! Why don't you go on ?

01. When ♦ ♦ ♦ down below next ♦ ♦ ♦

Cleost. Well?

01. Lord ! Lord !

Cleost. Well.?

01. Oh Lord !

Cleost. ♦ ♦ ♦ is it ?

01. Oh, it was enormous ! « « « I was afraid she had

VOL. II. H

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

* ferrum nc haberet metui ; id quaerere occepi ^
dum gladium quaero,^ ne habeat, arripio capulum.
sed cum cogito^ non habuit gladium^ nam esset
frigidus.
Cleost. Eloquere.
01. At pudet.

Cleost Num radix fuit.

OL Non fuit.

Cleost Numcucumis? 910

OL Profecto hercle ^ non fuit quicquam holerum,

nisi, quidquid erat, calamitas profecto attigerat
numquam.

ita, quidquid erat, grande erat.
Myrr. Quid fit denique ? edisserta.

Ot Ibi 2 appello, " Casina " inquam,

^^amabo, mea uxorcula, cur virum tuom sic me
spemis ?

nimis tu quidem hercle immerito
meo mi haec facis, quia mihi te expetivi." 918-920
ilia baud verbum facit et saepit veste id qui estis

mulieres.
ubi ilium saltum video opsaeptum, rogo ut altero

sinat ire.
volo, ut obvertam, cubitis im ^
ullum muttit e ^ *

surgo, ut in earn in ^
atque illam in ^
Myrr, Perlepide narrat ^
01, Savium ^

ita quasi saetis labra mihi compungit barba,
continuo in genua ut astiti, pectus mihi pedibus
percutit. 930

^ Leo notes lacuna here.

■ Ibi appellOf " Casina" inqiiam Bothe : uhi appdlo
Caainam inquit MSS.
98

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CASINA

a sword ; I began searching her ♦ ♦ ♦ while I'm
searching for her sword ♦ ♦ ♦ to see if she has
one, I got hold of a hilt. On second thoughts,
though, she didn't have a sword, for that would
have been cold.

Cleost, Go on.

01, But I'm ashamed to.

Cleost, It was not a radish, was it }

OL No.

Cleost, Or a cucumber ?

01, Heavens ! Certainly not ! ♦ ♦ ♦ No vegetable at
all — at any rate, whatever it was, , certainly no
blight had ever touched it. It was full grown,
whatever it was.

Mi/rr, What happened next ? Be explicit.

01, Then I call her by name : ^^ Now, now, Casina,"
says I, " my own little wifey, what makes you so
cruel to me, your own husband ? Good heavens !
I don't deserve to have you act so toward me,
indeed I don't, just for trying to get you for
myself." Not a word does she say, and pulls her
clothes tight around the part of her body that —
that makes a woman of you. When I see she's
barricaded herself, I beg her not to be so awflilly
coy. So as to turn her toward me I want to use
my arms and ♦ « ♦ a word does she breathe
* * * I get up, to « « « her « « « and * * *
her ♦ ♦ ♦

Myrr, {to Cleostrata) What a delightful raconteur ♦ ♦ ♦

01, A nice long kiss ♦ ♦ ♦ and I get my lips punctured
by a beard that's just like bristles, and the next
instant, as I'm kneeling beside her, she rams both
feet through my chest. I fall off the couch head

99
H 2

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

decido de lecto praecipes; subsilit^ optundit os

mihi.
inde foras tacitus profugiens exeo hoc omatu quo

vides,
ut senex hoc eodem poculo, quo ego bibi, bibcret.
CkosU Optume est.

sed ubi est palliolum tuom ?
01, Hie intus reliqui.

Cleosl, Quid nunc ? satin lepide adita est

vobis manus ?
OL Merito.

sed concrepucKunt fores.

num ilia me nunc sequitur ?

V. 3.

Li/s. Maxumo ego ardeo flagitio

nee quid agam meis rebus scio^
nee meam ut uxorem aspiciam

contra oculis^ ita disperii ;
omnia palam sunt probra^
omnibus modis

occidi miser. 94-0

1 ita manufesto faucibus teneor
^ nee quibus modis purgem scio me meae uxori.
^ atque expalliatus sum miser^
^ clandestinae nuptiae.
^censeo
^ mihi optumum est.
^ intro ad uxorem meam
sufFeramque ei meum tergum ob iniuriam.
sed ecquis est qui homo munus velit fungier

^ Leo notes lacuna here.
100

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CASINA

first ; up she jumps and batters my face for me.
And then, without saying a word, I took to my
heels and made for the door in the condition you
see me, {savagely) so that the old man might have
a dose from the same cup as myself.

Cleosi. {grimly) Excellent ! But where is that short cloak
of yours ?

OL I left it inside here.

Cleost Well, now, were you two tripped up neatly
enough ?

01. {humble) Quite as we deserved, {starting) But the
door creaked ! She's not after me now, is she .'*
{runs into Lysidamus's doorway : the rest follow)

ENTER Lysidamus in great distress, his cloak
Scene 3. gone and his tunic torn.

Lys, Oh, Vm burning with the hideous infamy of it ;
And I don't know what to do about it, or how to
look my wife in the face — I'm so utterly done
for ! The whole disgraceful business is out ! It's
all up with me, absolutely, poor wretch that I
am ! ♦ ♦ ♦ They have me by the throat, caught
in the act ♦ ♦ ♦ and how I can clear myself
with my wife I don't know ! ♦ ♦ * Oh dear,
and my cloak gone ! « « « a clandestine mar-
riage ! ♦ ♦ * I suppose ♦ ♦ ♦ it's the best thing
for me. ♦ ♦ * inside to my wife — (in agony)
and let my back pay her damages ! {to audience,
hopefully) But is there anyone here who would

101

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

pro me ? quid nunc agam

nescio^ nisi ut improbos 950
famulos imiter ac domo fugiam.
nam salus nulla est scapulis^ si domum redeo.
^ nugas istic dieere licet, vapulo hercle ego in-
vitus tamen
etsi malum merui.
hac dabo protinam me et fugiam.

V. 4.

ChaL Heus, sta ilico, amator.

Lys, Occidi, revocor. quasi

non audiam^ abibo. 956-962

ChaL Vbi tu es, qui colere mores Massilienses postulas ?
nunc tu si vis subigitare me, probast occasio.
redi sis in cubiculum. periisti hercle. age, accede

hue modo.
nunc ego tecum aequom arbitrum extra considium
captavero.
Lys. Perii, fusti defloccabit iam illic homo lumbos meos.
hac iter faciundumst, nam iliac lumbifragiumst
obviam.
CleosL lubeo te salvere, amator.

Lys. Ecce autem uxor obviamst ^ ; 969

hac lupi, hac canes, lupina scaeva fusti rem gerit ;
hercle opinor permutabo ego illuc nunc verbum
vetus.

^ Leo notes lacuna here.

^ Leo brackets following v., 970 :
nunc ego inter sacrum aaxumque sum nee quo fugiam scio,
102

yGoogk

CASINA

like to substitute for me ? (vainly waits for reply)
I don't know what to do now — unless I imitate
rascally slaves and run for it. For there's no
chance for my shoulders, once I go back home.
(thinking audience seem sceptical) Call that rubbish
if you like. But I do get beaten — Lord, I do ! —
and I don't like it, no matter if T have deserved
it. I'll make down the street here this minute
and run for it. {sets out past Alcesimus*s house)

ENTER Chalinus iSTo doorway, with Lysidamuss
Scene 4. cane and cloak.

ChaL (calling) Hi ! Stop right where you are, my
gallant !

Lys, {aside, frightened) Oh murder ! I'm called back !
I'll keep on as if I didn't hear.

ChaL (roarifig) Whereabouts are you — ^you that think to
practice Marseilles customs here } {coyly, as Lysi-
damus stops in terror) Now if you want to fondle
me, sir, here's a lovely chance. Come back to
the bedroom, please do. {ferociously, swinging his
cane) It's all up with you, by gad! Come on;
just you step this way. Now I'll get hold of a
fair umpire {tapping his cane significantly) with you,
one not on the regular bench of judges.

Lys, {aside) It's all up with me ! That fellow will be
depilating my middle shortly, with his club.
{turning round) I must go this way, for that way
I'm facing wreck amidships, {makes off past his own
house, Cleostrata steps out, blocking his course)

Ckost, Good day to you, gallant.

Lys, {aside, stopping) Oh ! and here's my wife facing
me ! Wolves on one side, dogs on the other !
Omens ! And the wolf omen does business with
a club ! Heavens ! I think I'll change that old

103

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

liac ibo, caninam scaevam spero meliorem fore.
Myrr, Quid agis, dismarite ?
Cleost, Mi vir, unde hoc ornatu advenis ?

quid fecisti scipione aut quod habuisti pallium ?
Mi/rr. In adulterio, dum moechissat Casinam, credo

perdidit.
Lys. Occidi.

ChaL Etiamne imus cubitum ? Casina sum.

Lys, I in malam crucem.

ChaL Non amas me ?

Cleost. Quin responde, tuo quid factum est pallio ?

Li/s. Bacchae hercle, uxor —
Cleost, Bacchae ?

Lys, Bacchae hercle, uxor —

Myrr, Nugatur sciens,

nam ecastor nunc Bacchae nuUae ludunt.
Lys, Oblitus fui, 980

sed tamen Bacchae —
Cleost. Quid, Bacchae ?

Lys, Sin id fieri non potest —

Cleost, Times ecastor.
Lys, Egone ?

Ckost, Mentire hercle. nam palles male.^

n quid me ve us am me rogas ?

male r mihi ,

gratulor.
qu senex

ho on u

unc casinust

qui hie lem frus ram dis 989, 990

^ vv. 983-990 are hopelessly fragmentary.
104

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CASINA

proverb ^ now. Til go this way ; the dog omen
will be the better, I hope, (puts on a bold front,
and tries to pass Cleostrata)

Myrr. {joining Cleostrata) What are you about, my twice-
married sir?

Cleosi. Where are you coming from in such a state,
husband mine ? What have you done with your
cane ? What has become of your cloak ?

Myrr. He lost them, I dare say, while he was courting
Casina.

Lys, (aside) This is deadly !

Chal. (tenderly) Shan't we go to our chamber again ? I
am Casina.

Lys. Go to the devil !

Chal. (sobbing) You don't . . . love me ?

Cleost. Come, come, answer me. What has become of
your cloak ?

Lys. (floundering) Oh Lord, my dear, some Bacchantes —

Cleost. Bacchantes ?

Lys, Oh Lord, my dear, some Bacchantes

Myrr. That's nonsense, and he knows it. Why, good-
ness me, there are no Bacchante revels now.

Lys. (half aside) I forgot that, (aloitd) but, just the
same, some Bacchantes — —

Cleost. What ? Bacchantes ?

Lys. (desperately) Well, if that's impossible

Cleost. (affecting surprise) Good heavens, you're frightened.

Lys. I?

Cleost. You're lying, gracious, yes I Why, how pale you
are. ♦ * * why me * ♦ ♦ you ask me? * * *
badly * ♦ ♦ to me * * * I congratulate. ♦ * ♦
old man 4^ 4^ 4^ is Casinus ♦ « «

^ Inter lupoa 4t cane» nullam acUutem ease. ** 'Twixt
wolves and dogs no safety lies.''

105

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

01. qui etiam me miserum famosum fecit flagitiis suis.
Lys, Non taces ?

01. Non hercle vero taceo. nam tu maxumo

me opsecravisti opere, Casinam ut poscerem uxorem

mihi
tui amoris causa.
Lys, Ego istuc feci ?

OL Immo Hector Ilius — 994, 995

Lys. Te quidem oppresset.^ feci ego istaec dicta quae

vos dicitis ?
Cleost. Rogitas etiam ?

Lys. Si quidem hercle feci, feci nequiter.

Cleost. Redi modo hue intro; monebo, si qui meministi

minus.
Lys, Hercle, opinor, potius vobis credam quod vos dicitis.
sed, uxor, da viro tuo hanc veniam. Myrrhina,

ora Cleostratam ; 1000

si umquam posthac aut amasso Casinam aut occepso

modo,
ne ut eam amasso, si ego umquam adeo posthac

tale admisero
nulla causast, quin pendentem me, uxor, virgis
verberes.
Myrr, Censeo ecastor veniam hanc dandam.
Cleost, Faciam ut iubes.

propter eam rem hanc tibi nunc veniam minus

gravate prospero,
hanc ex longa longiorem ne faciamus fabulam.
Lys. Non irata es ?
Cleost. Non sum irata.

Lys, Tuaen fidei credo }

Cleost, Meae.

^ Leo gives this sentence to Olympio, Lindsay to
Lysidamus.
106

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CASINA

01, * ♦ * who's made a poor infamous man of me^ as

well, with his own outrageous actions.

Lys, {to Olympio in low tone) Won't you shut up ?

01. (loudly) Indeed I won't shut up, by Jove ? Why,

you begged me your hardest to ask to marry
Casina, all because you loved her yourself.

Lys, (blustering) I did that ? I ?

OL (sarcastically) Oh no. Hector of Troy

Lys, (interrupting) Would have choked you off! I did
those things you people say — I ?

Cleost, You are still asking that ? (advancing on kirn)

Lys, (cringing) Oh Lord! if I really did do it, I did
wrong.

Cleost, (very stem) Just you go back inside here ; I will
refresh your memory if it fails you.

Lys, (retreating) Oh Lord ! I think I'd rather take
your word for all you say I (almost in tears) But
do pardon your husband this time, my dear.
Myrrhina, beg her to. If I ever make love to
Casina after this, or as much as show a sign of
it — let alone making love to her— if I ever do such
a thing again, I give you leave to hang me up^ my
dear, and use a whip on me.

Myrr, (to Cleostrata) I really do think you ought to
forgive him this time.

Cleost, Well, just as you say. (to Lysidamus) My reason,
sir, for being less reluctant to rejoice you with my
forgiveness, is that we may not make this long
play longer.

Lys, (doubtful) You're not angry ?

Cleost, No, I am not angry.

Lys, You give me your word on that }

Cleost, I do.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lys. Lepidiorem uxorem nemo quisquam quam ego
habeo banc habet.

CleosL Age tu, redde huic scipionem et pallium.

Chal, Tene, si lubet.

mihi quidem edepol insignite factast magna iniuria ; 1010
duobus nupsi^ neuter fecit quod novae nuptae solet.

Spectatores^ quod futurumst intus^ id memorabimus.
haec Casina huius reperietur filia esse ex proxumo
eaque nubet Eutbynico nostro erili filio.
nunc vos aequomst manibus mentis meritam mer-

cedem dare,
qui faxit^ clam uxorem ducet semper scortum quod

volet ;
verum qui non manibus clare, quantum poterit,

plauserit^
ei pro scorto supponetur hircus unctus nautea.

108

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CASINA

(overjoyed) Ah, there's not a living soul with a

more delightful wife than this of mine !

(to ChaUnus) Come, you. Give him back his cane

and cloak.

(doing so) Take 'em if you like. But by gad, I've

been wronged, I've been horribly wronged ; I

married two men, and neither of 'em did a

husband's duty by me.

EPILOGUE

Spectators, we will inform you of what is to take
place inside. This Casina will prove to be the
daughter of the gentleman who lives next door
here (pointing to Alcesimuss house) and will marry
our young master, Euthynicus. Now it is right for
you to reward us duly with due applause. The
man that does so shall always deceive his wife
and have the mistress he desires ; but the man
that fails to clap us with all his might — there
will be palmed off upon him, in place of his
mistress, a goat scented with bilge water.

[exeunt omnes.

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CISTELLARIA

THE CASKET COMEDY

yGoogk

ARGVMENTVM

Comprimit adulescens Lemnius Sicyoniam,

Is redit in patriam^ et gnatam generat nuptiis.

Sicyonia aeque parit puellam. hanc servolus

ToUit atque exponit, et ex insidiis aucupat.

Bam sublatam meretrix alii detulit.

Lemno post rediens ducit quam compresserat

Lemnique natam spondet adulescentulo

Amore capto illius proiecticiae.

Requirens servos reperit quam proiecerat.

Itaque lege et rite civem cognitam 10

Alcesimarchus^ ut erat nactus^ possidet.

PERSONAE

SELENIVM MERETRIX

OVMNASIVM MERETRIX

SYRA

AVXILIVM DEVS

ALCESIMARCHYS ADVLESCENS

SERVVS

SENEX

LAMPADIO SERVVS

MELAENIS LENA

PHANOSTRATA MATRONA

HALISCA ANCILLA

DEMIPHO SENEX.

112

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ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY

A young Lemnian wrongs a maiden of Sicyon ;
returning to his own land^ he marries and begets
a daughter. A daughter likewise is born of the
Sicyonian girl. A young slave of hers takes away
this child, abandons it, and lurking about, spies
what happens. The child is picked up by a
courtesan, who gives it to another courtesan. The
Lemnian later on returns, marries the woman he
had wronged, and betroths the daughter born to
him at Lemnos to a young man who is deeply in
love with that foundling. In the course of his
search the slave discovers this girl he had aban-
doned. So when her citizenship is proven, legally
and properly, Alcesimarchus, already her lover,
becomes her husband.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Selenium, a courtesan.

Gymnasium, a courtesan.

Syra,^ a bawd, mother of Gymnasium,

Succour, a god, the Prologue.

Alcesimarchus, a young gentleman of Sicyon.

A SLAVE, belonging to Alcesimarchus.

An old gentleman, father of Alcesimarchus.

Lampadio, slave of Demipho.

Melaenis, a bawd, supposed mother of Selenium.

Phanostrata, wife of Demipho.

Hausca, maid to Melaenis.

Demipho, an old gentleman of Sicyon.

* So Studemund; the name, however, is at best only
probable.

113

VOL. II. I

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ACTVS I

Sel, Cum ego antehac te amavi et mi amicam esse

crevi,
mea Gymnasium^ et matrem tuam^ turn id mihi

hodie
aperuistis^ tu atque haec. soror si mea esses^
qui magis potueritis

mihi honorem ire habitum,
nescio^ nisi^ ut meus est animus^ fieri non posse

arbitror ;
ita omnibus relictis rebus mihi frequentem operam

dedistis.
eo ego vos amo et eo a me magnam iniistis gratiam.
Gymn, Pol isto quidem nos pretio facile est frequentare
tibi utilisque habere ;
ita in prandio nos lepide ac nitide 10

accepisti apud te, ut semper meminerimus.
SeL Lubenjbi edepol animo factum et fiet a me,

quae vos arbitrabor velle, ea ut expetessam.
Syra Quod ille dixit, qui secundo vento vectus

est tranquillo mari,
ventum gaudeo — ecastor ad ted, ita hodie

hie acceptae sumus suavibus modis,
nee nisi disciplina apud te fuit quicquam ibi quin
mihi placeret.
SeL Quid ita, amabo ?
114

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THE CASKET COMEDY

Scene : — Sicyon, A street in which are the houses of
Alcesimarchus and Demipho,

ACT I

ENTER Selenium, Gymnasium, and Syra from the
HOUSE OF Alcesimarchus, Syra rather tipsy.

Sel. I always did love you. Gymnasium dear, and
always felt I had a friend in you — and in your
mother, too; but to-day you have proved your
friendship, both of you. If you were my own
sister, I don't 9ee how you co^ld have shown more
regard for me — no, no, I am sure Fm right in
feeling you simply ^ul<J not. See how you have
left everything and devoted yourselves to me
entirely ! I love you for it, and Tm ever so grate-
ful for it, too.

Gymn, Dear me, it's easy devoting ourselves to you and
quaking ours^lve^ service^bl^^ when you pay us so
well. Such a delightful, dainty luncheon as you
did give uis f^% your house^ one we'll always
remember !

Sel. Oh, it was a pleasure, and it always will be, to be
eager to do things I think you like.

Syra (stru^ling to manage her tongiiie) As the sailor . . .
said . . . when a fair wind carried him over the
tranquil . . . sea : *^ Hurrah for the wind " —
that . . . blew me to you . . . goodness, yes . . .
with the lovely way you've . . . entertained us
here to-day ! The only thing that . . . didn't suit
me . . . wa^ the way your servants are . . . trained.

Sel. Why, bless your heart, how is that ?

115

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Syra Raro nimium dabat quod biberem^

id merum infuscabat.
Gymn, Amabo, hicine istud decet ?

Syra lusque fasque est ; 19> 20

nemo alienus hie est.
Sel, Merito vostro amo vos,

quia me colitis et magni facitis.
Syra Decet pol, mea Selenium^

hunc esse ordinem benevolentis inter se
beneque amicitia utier,
ubi istas videas sunmio genere natas^ summatis

matronas^
ut amicitiam colunt atque ut eam iunctam bene

habent inter se.
si idem istud nos faciamus^ si idem imitemur, ita
tamen vix vivimus

cum invidia sunmia. suarum opum nos volunt
esse indigentes.

nostra copia nil volunt nos potesse 29, 30

suique omnium rerum nos indigere,
ut sibi simus supplices.
eas si adeas^ abitum quam aditum malis^ ita
nostro ordini

palam blandiuntur^ clam, si occasio usquam
est,

aquam frigidam subdole suffiindunt.
viris cum suis praedicant nos solere,
suas paelices esse aiunt, eunt depressum.
quia nos libertinae sumus, et ego et tua mater,

ambae
meretrices fuimus. ilia te, ego banc mihi educavi
ex patribus conventiciis. neque ego banc super-

biai 40

causa pepuli ad meretricium quaestum, nisi ut
ne esurirem.
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THE CASKET COMEDY

Syra They didn't pass the wine nearly . . . often enough^
and when they did pass it they spoiled it with . . .
water.

Gymn, (einbarrassed) Oh now, now ! Is it nice to say
that here?

Syra (stubborn and loud) Quite right and . . . proper ;
it's all in the family, {embraces Selemum)

Sel, I have good reason for loving you both, when you
are so kind and make so much of me.

Syra Mercy me. Selenium dear, people in our . . . walk
of life ought to be . . . good to each other and
... do each other good turns, (indignantly) when
you see those highborn ladies, those blue-blooded
dames, how they keep up their . . . friendship
and . . . how well they hang together. If we do
the same, if we imitate them, even so we have a
. . . hard time getting . . . on, they hate us so.
They want to keep us in need of their . . .
support. Not a bit of power of our own do they
want us to have, but to need them for ever3rthing,
so that we'll have to . . . sue to them for favours.
And once you do go to 'em, you'd rather go
out than ... in, seeing the way they flatter
women like us in public, and then in private pour
. . . cold water on us, every chance they get, the
sly things ! They claim we . . . get hold of their
husbands, say we're their concubines, and they
try to keep us down. Being only . . . freed slaves,
your mother and I, we both became courtesans.
She brought you up, I . . . brought up this girl
(indicating Gymnasium) to be a . . . comfort to
me, your fathers being men we . . . happened on.
It wasn't out of . . . highhandedness I forced my
girl here into my own . . . profession; it was
only that I shouldn't ... go hungry.

117

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Sel, At satius fuerat earn viro dare nuptum potius.
Syra Heia,

haec quidem ecastor cottidie viro nubit, nupsitque

hodie,
nubet mox noctu. numquam ego hanc viduam

cubare sivi.
nam si haec non nubat^ lugubri fame familia
pereat.
Gymn, Necesse est, quo tu me modo voles esse, ita esse,

mater.
Syra Ecastor baud me paenitet, si ut dicis ita futura es.
nam si quidem ita eris ut volo, numquam senecta

fies
semperque istam quam nunc habes aetatulam

optinebis,
multisque damno et mihi lucro sine meo saepe eris
sumptu. 50

Gymn, Di faxint.

Syra Sine opera tua di horunc nil facere possunt.

Gymn, Equidem hercle addam operam sedulo ; sed tu
aufer istaec verba,
meus oculus, mea Selenium, numquam ego te

tristiorem
vidi esse, quid, cedo, te obsecro tam abhorret

hilaritudo ?
neque munda adaeque es, ut soles — hoc sis vide,

ut petivit
suspiritum alte — et pallida es. eloquere utrumque

nobis,
et quid tibi est et quid velis nostram operam, ut

nos sciamus.
noli, obsecro, lacrumis tuis mi exercitum impe-
rare.
Sel, Med excrucio, mea Gymnasium^ male mihi est,
male maceror ;

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THE CASKET COMEDY

Sel, But it would have been better to let her marry
someone, instead.

Si/ra Hoity toity! And so she does, gracious yes,
every day — to-day, and again to-night. I've
never let her sleep alone, not I. Why, if she
didn't marry, our family would die of doleful
famine.

Gymn, (listlessly) I must be what you wish me to be,
mother.

Syra Mercy me, Tm contented, if you keep doing as
you say. Yes, you just be what I . . . want you
to be, and you'll never grow old, and you'll always
keep that . . . pretty bloom of yours, and . . .
fleece lots of men and furnish me with funds, and
often without costing me anything, too.

Gymn, Heaven make it so !

Syra Heaven can't make it so at . . . all, without your
help*

Gymn. {rather impatient) Oh, yes, yes, yes, I'll help, too,
all I can. But enough of this, (turning to Selenium^
who seems on the verge of tears) Why, my darling,
my dear Selenium, I've never seen you looking
more melancholy. For mercy's sake, tell me,
why are you and cheerfulness such strangers ?
(scrutinizing her) And you don't look as smart as
usual — just see, that deep, deep sigh ! — and you're
pale, too. Come, tell us two things — what the
trouble is, and how you want us to help you — so
that we may understand matters. Don't cry,
please, and bring an attack on me, too.

Sel. (sobbing) Oh, G3naQnasium dear, I'm in torment !
I'm suffering, suffering cruelly ! My heart aches,

119

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

doleo ab animo^ doleo ab oculis^ doleo ab aegritu-

dine. 60

quid dicam^ nisi stultitia mea me in maerorem
rapi?
Gymn, Indidem unde oritur facito ut facias stultitiam

sepelibilem.
Sel. Quid faciam ?

Gymn, In latebras abscondas pectore penitissimo.

tuam stultitiam sola facito ut scias sine aliis ar-
bitris.
SeL At mihi cordolium est.

Gymn, Quid ? id unde est tibi cor ?

commemora obsecro ;
quod neque ego habeo neque quisquam alia mulier,
ut perhibent viri.
SeL Siquid est quod doleat, dolet ; si autem non est —

tamen hoc hie dolet.
Gymn, Amat haec mulier.

SeL Eho an amare occipere amarum est, obsecro ?

Gymn, Namque ecastor Amor et melle et felle est

fecundissimus ;

gustui dat dulce, amarum ad satietatem usque

oggerit. 70

SeL Ad istam faciem est morbus, qui me, mea Gjrmna-

sium, macerat.
Gymn, Perfidiosus est Amor.

SeL Ergo in me peculatum facit.

Gymn. Bono animo es, erit isti morbo melius.
SeL Confidam fore,

si medicus veniat qui huic morbo facere medicinam
potest.
Gymn, Veniet.

SeL Spissum istuc amanti est verbum, veniet, nisi

venit.
sed ego mea culpa et stultitia peius misera maceror,
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THE CASKET COMEDY

my eyes ache, I ache all over, Fm so miserable !

What can I say — except that Fm driven to despair

by my own silliness !
Gymn, (cheerily) Well, in the same place this silliness

originated, you take and — tombigate it !
SeL (mystified) Do what ?
Gymn, Hide it away in the very very deepest recess of

your heart. See you keep your silliness to yourself

and let no one else spy it.
SeL But I'm so sick, mentally.
Gymn, (laughing) What ? Where did you get that mind ?

For mercy's sake, give an account of yourself. A

mind is something I haven't got, or any other

woman, either, according to the men.
SeL (laying to smile) If I have one to be. sick, it is sick ;

but if I haven't, Fm sick here (laying her hand on

her breast) just the same.
Gymn. (to her mother, playfully) This girl is a bit in love.
SeL Ah, tell me, that '' bit " of love does not begin by

being bitter, does it ?
Gymn. Why, good gracious, love is fairly overflowing with

honey and gall both. It gives you but a taste of

sweetness : bitterness it heaps up before you till

you can hold no more.
Sel. The malady tormenting me is like that, G3rmnasium

dear.
Gymn. Love is faithless.
SeL (sadly) And so it's defrauding me.
Gymn. Cheer up, that malady of yours will mend.
SeL Fm sure of it, if the doctor who can doctor it

would only come.
Gymn. He will come.
SeL " He will. come " is a sluggish phrase to a girl in

love, unless he does come. But oh dear, it's my

own fault, my own silliness, that makes my

121

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

quom ego ilium unum mi exoptavi^ quicum aetatem
degerem.
Syra Matronae magis conducibilest istuc^ mea Selenium^
unum amare et cum eo aetatem exigere quoi

nuptast semel.
verum enim meretrix fortunati est oppidi simillima : 80
non potest suam rem obtinere sola sine multis viris.
ScL Hoc volo agatis. qua accersitae causa ad me
estis, eloquar.
nam mea mater, quia ego nolo me meretricem dicier,
obsecutast de ea re, gessit morem morigerae mihi,
ut me, quem ego amarem graviter, sineret cum eo
vivere.
Syra Stulte ecastor fecit. sed tu enumquam cum
quiquam viro
consuevisti ?
SeL Nisi quidem cum Alcesimarcho, nemine,

neque pudicitiam meam mi alius quisquam im-
minuit.
Syra Obsecro,

quo is homo insinuavit pacto se ad te ?
SeL Per Dionysia

mater pompam me spectatum duxit. dum redeo

domum, 90

conspicillo consecutust clanculum me usque ad

fores,
inde in amicitiam insinuavit cum mai^e et mecum

simul
blanditiis, muneribus, donis.
Syra Mihi istunc vellem hominem dari,

ut ego ilium vorsarem !
Sel. Quid opust verbis ? consuetudine

coepi amare contra ego ilium, et ille me.
Syra O mea Selenium,

adsimulare amare oportet. nam si ames, extempulo
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THE CASKET COMEDY

torment all the worse, for I*ve yearned for him,
just him alone, to spend my life with !

Syr a That's more . . . profitable for a fine dame. Selenium
dearie — to love just one man and . . . pass her
days with him, once she's married him. But a
courtesan, you know, is much like a prosperous
city : she can't get along by . . . herself, without
plenty of men.

SeL (taking their hands affectionately) Please listen now,
both of you. I'll explain why I asked you to
come to me. You see, (politely hesitant) I don't
like to be known a» a courtesan, so my mother
gave in to me, submitted to my wishes as I
submit to hers, and let me live with the man I
adore.

Syra Goodness me, she was a . . . fool ! But you,
you've never been intimate with any man .'*

SeL No — ^that is, not with anyone except Alcesi-
marchus. I never had a thing to do with any
other man.

Syra For mercy's sake, how did . . . this one wind his
way into your favour ?

SeL (shyly) During the festival of Dionysus mother
took me to see the procession. On the way
home he spied me and stole along after me all
the way to our door. Then he wound his way
into mother's heart — and mine, too — with the
nice things he said, and did for us, and gave
us.

Syra (aside) I wish I . . . had him } Oh, wouldn't I . . .
work him !

SeL I needn't say much more. We were thrown
together, and I began to love him, and he me.

Syra Ah, Selenium dearie, you ought to . . . make
believe love. Why, once you do love, you . . .

128

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

melius illi multo^ quern ames, consulas quam rei
tuae.
SeL At ille conceptis iuravit verbis apud matrem meam^
me uxorem ducturum esse ; ei nunc alia ducendast

domum^
sua cognata Lemniensis^ quae habitat hie in

proxumo. 100

nam eum pater eius subegit. nunc mea mater

iratast mihi^
quia non redierim domum ad se^ postquam hanc

rem resciverim,
eum uxorem ducturum esse aliam.
Syra Nihil amori iniuriumst.

SeL Nunc te amabo ut hanc hie unum triduom hoc

solum sinas
esse et hie servare apud me. nam ad matrem
accersita sum.
Syra Quamquam istud mihi erit molestum triduom, et
damnum dabis,
faciam.
Sel, Facis benigne et amice, sed tu. Gymna-

sium mea,
si me absente Alcesimarchus veniet, nolito acriter
eum inclamare — utut erga me est meritus, mihi

cordi est tamen —
sed, amabo, tranquille ; ne quid, quod illi doleat,

dixeris. 110

accipias clavis; si quid opus tibi erit prompto,

promito.
ego volo ire.
Gymn, Vt mi excivisti lacrimas.

SeL Gjrmnasium mea,

bene vale.
Gymn. Cura te, amabo. sicine immunda, obsecro,

ibis?
124

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THE CASKET COMEDY

look out for your lover much better than for your
own interests.

Sel. But he swore solemnly to my mother that he
would marry me — and now (sobbing) he's got to
marry another girl, a Lemnian relative of his that
lives next door here {pointing to Demiphos house).
Yes, his father has forced him into it. And now
my mother is angry with me because I didn't go
back home to her after I found this out— that he
was going to marry someone else.

Si/ra Nothing's unfair in love.

Sel. Now do, do, please, let Gymnasium stay here for
just merely the next three days and look after
things at my house. For mother has summoned
me home.

Si/ra Well, that means three unpleasant days for me
and . . . money lost, but I'll . . . let her.

SeL That's very nice and friendly of you. But listen.
Gymnasium dear, if Alcesimarchus comes while
I'm gone, don't be sharp and harsh with him and
say hateful things — no matter how he has acted
toward me, I {sobbing) do think so much of him
still ! — but please, please be gentle with him ;
don't say anything to hurt his feelings. Here
are the keys ; {passing them over) if you need
anything, take it. I must {turning away in tears) go.

Gymn, {weeping) Oh, you've set me crying, too !

SeL Good-bye, Gymnasium dear, good-bye !

Gymn, Do, do take care of yourself, dear ! {as Selenium
moves away) Mercy me, you aren't going like that
— ^looking so frowzy ?

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

SeL Immundas fortunas aequom est squalorem sequi.

Gymn, Amiculum hoc sustolle saltern.
SeL Sine trahi, cum egomet trahor.

Gymn. Quando ita tibi lubet, vale atque salve.
SeL Si possim^ velim.

Gi/mn. Numquid me vis^ mater^ intro quin eam ? ecastor
mihi

visa amare.
Syra Istoc ergo auris graviter obtundo tuas,

ne quern ames. abi intro.
Gymn. Numquid me vis ?

Syra Vt valeas.

Gymn, Vale.

1. 2.

Syra Idem mihi magnae quod parti est vitium mulierum 120
quae hunc quaestum facimus : quae ubi saburratae

sumus^
largiloquae extemplp sumus^ plus loquimur quam

sat est.
nam ego illanc olim^ quae hinc flens abiit^ parvol^un
puellam proiectam ex angiportu sustuli.^

^ Leo brackets following vv., 125-132 :
adtUcscena quidam hie est adprime nohilis
I quin ego nunc quia sum onuata mea ex sententia
quiaque adeo me complevi flore Libert,
magia libera uti lingua cordibitum eat mihiy
ta^ere nequeo miaera quod tacito v,aua est. \

Sicyone, aummo genere ; ei vivit pater. 130

is amore miaere hanc deperit mulierculam,
quae hinc modoflena abiit. contra amore eum ha^c deperit.

Lines 125, 130-2 seem to have been added so that
Auxilium's speech might be omitted. Lines 126-9 are
omitted in A, and parallel lines 120-2.
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SeL (listless) A frowzy fate and a dingy dress gp well
together.

Gifmn, Do lift up ypur mantle here, anyway, {tries to
arrange it),

SeL Let it trail, now that I am trailed in the dust myself.

Gymn. If you will have it so — good-bye, and look out for
yourself.

SeL If I could, I would. [exit.

Gynm. {looking after her with a sigh) Is there anything
you want, mother, before I go inside } My good-
ness, she is really in love, it seems to me !

Syra Yes, and that's why I . . . keep dinning it into
your ears, not to love any . . . man. Go on inside.

Gymn, There's nothing els^ you want of me }

Syra Keep well.

Gymn, And you. [exit into house.

Scene 2

Syra (to audience, with drunken friendliness) Tve got the
same fault as most of the . . . women in my pro-
fession. Once we get properly . . . ballasted, our
tongues loosen up at once and . . . we talk too
much. Now that girl that just went away . . .
crying — a long time ago when she was only
a little tot, I . . . picked her up in an alley where
she*d been left.^ I gave her as a . . . present to

^ Vv. 125-132 : There's a certain young gentleman here
of the highest sort of rank — really, now that I'm loaded
to my taste and am positively full of the flower of
Bacchus, I've taken a fancy to use my tongue more
freely, and I can't, dear me, I can't, keep quiet about
what ought to be kept quiet — a Sicyonian of the very
best family ; his father's living. This young gentleman
is desperately, madly, in love with this little lady that
went away from here crying just now. And, for her part,
she's madly in love with him.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

earn meae ego amicae dono huic meretrici dedi,

quae saepe meeum mentionem fecerat,

puerum aut puellam alicunde ut reperirem sibi,

recens natum, eapse quod sibi supponeret.

ubi mihi potestas primum evenit, ilieo

feci eius ei quod me oravit copiam.

postquam earn puellam a me accepit, ilico

eandem puellam peperit quam a me acceperat, 140

sine obstetricis opera et sine doloribus,

item ut aliae pariunt^ quae malum quaerunt sibi.

nam amatorem aibat esse peregrinum sibi

suppositionemque eius faeere gratia.

id duae nos solae seimus^ ego quae illi dedi

et ilia quae a me accepit, praeter vos quidem.

haec sic res gesta est. si quid usus venerit,

meminisse ego hanc rem vos volo. ego abeo domum.

Aux, Vtrumque haec, et multiloqua et multibiba, est
anus,
satin vix reliquit deo quod loqueretur loci, 1 50

ita properavit de puellae proloqui
suppositione. quod si tacuisset, tamen
ego eram dicturus, deus, qui poteram planius.
nam mihi Auxilio est nomen. nunc operam date,
ut ego argumentum hoc vobis plane perputem.

Fuere Sicyoni iam diu Dionysia.
mercator venit hue ad ludos Lemnius,
isque hie compressit virginem, adulescentulus,
vi, vinulentus multa nocte in via.

is ubi malam rem seit se meruisse, ilieo l60

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a friend of mine, a courtesan here (pointing in the
direction Selenium went) who had . . . often spoken
to me about my finding a . . . boy or girl for
her somewhere, one just bom, that she could . . .
palm off as her own. So the first chance I . . .
got, I provided her with what she begged for.
After taking this . . . girl from me, she was . . .
brought to bed at once of . . . this same girl she
had got from me, without a . . . midwife's help and
without labour pains, such as other women suffer,
who . . . have babies, the women that bring trouble
. on themselves. She said she . . . had a lover from
foreign parts, you . . . see, and was pretending to
have a child on his account. This is a . . . secret
between us two — me that gave it to her, and her
that . . . took it, except for you people, of course.
Well, that's how things . . . stand. I want you
to . . . remember this, if occasion . . . comes. I'm
going . . . home. [exit Si/i^a, unsteadily.

Scene 3 enter Succour.

Succour (looking after Syra disgustedly) Tattler and tippler
both, the old hag ! So she has barely left a thing
for a god to say, in her hurry to tell the tale of
that supposititious girl ! Why, if she had held
her tongue, I should have told you, just the same,
and I, being a god, could have made it clearer.
For my name is Succour. Attention now, so that
I may give you a clear, trim outline of this play.

A long time ago there was a Dionysiac festival
at Sicyon. A Lemnian merchant came here to
the festivities, and here, late at night in the
road, when his young blood was heated by wine,
he outraged a maiden. When he realized the
criminal nature of his offence, he straightway

129

VOL. II. K

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

pedibus perfiigium peperit^ in Lemnum aufugit,

ubi habitabat turn, ilia quam compresserat

decumo post mense exacto hie peperit filiam.

quoniam reum eius facti nescit qui siet,

paternum servom sui participat consili,

dat earn puellam ei servo exponendam ad necem.

is earn proiecit. haec puellam sustulit.

ille clam observavit servos qui earn proiecerat

quo aut quas in aedis haec puellam deferat.

ut eampse vos audistis confiterier, 1 70

dat earn puellam meretrici Melaenidi,

eaque educavit eam sibi pro filia

bene ac pudice. tum illic autem Liemnius

propinquam uxorem duxit^ cognatam suam.

ea diem suom obiit^ facta morigera est viro.

postquam ille uxori iusta fecit, ilico

hue commigravit ; duxit uxorem hie sibi

eandem quam olim virginem hie compresserat,

et eam cognoscit esse^ quam compresserat.

ilia illi dicit, eius se ex iniuria 1 80

peperisse gnatam atque eam se servo ilico

dedisse exponendam. ille extemplo servolum

iubet ilium eundem persequi, si qua queat

reperire quae sustulerit. ei rei nunc suam

operam usque assiduo servos dat, si possiet

meretricem illam invenire, quam olim tollere,

cum ipse exponebat, ex insidiis viderat.

Nunc quod relicuom restat volo persolvere,
ut expungatur nomen, ne quid debeam.
adulescens hie est Sicyoni, ei vivit pater ; 1 90

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found himself a haven in his heels and hied him
off to Lemnos^ where his home then was. As
for the maiden he had outraged, nine months
later she found herself the mother of a baby
girl. Not knowing whom to charge, with the
crime, she took a slave of her father s into her
confidence and gave him the child to abaiulon to
its fate; He did sa This woman {pointing in
the direction St/ra ment) ^ picked i it up. The slave
who had dropped it seoretly watched to see
where, or to what house^ she took. iL As you
heard her admit herself^ ahe gave the. girl to the
courtesan Melaenis, and this Melaenis brought
her up properly and respectably as her own
daughter. As for that Lemnian, he later married
a neighbour and relative of his there. She died,
and for once obliged her husband. After he had
given his wife decent burial, he at once emigrated
hither to Sicyon ; and here he married the same
woman he had outraged here long before, and
recognizes her as being the same one. She tells
him that the wrong he did her resulted in the
birth of a daughter and that she immediately
gave the child to a slave to abandon. Her husband
at once orders that same slave to make a search
and see if he can find anywhere the woman who
picked it up. So now the slave is devoting himself
incessantly to this task, and is trying to discover
that courtesan whom he had covertly observed
many years beforei, when she picked up the child
he himself had just deserted.

Now for the rest that remains — I wish to pay
up in full, so that my name may be crossed off
your books and. my account cleared. Here at
Sicyon is a young man— his father is living ; and

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

is amore proiecticiam illam deperit
quae dudum flens hinc abiit ad matrem suam^
et ilia hunc contra, qui est amor suavissimus.
ut sunt humana, nihil est perpetuom datum,
pater adulescenti dare volt uxorem ; hoc ubi
mater rescivit, iussit accersi eam domum.
haec sic res gesta est.

Bene valete et vincite
virtute vera, quod fecistis antidhac ;
servate vostros socios, veteres et novos,
augete auxilia vostra iustis legibus, 200

perdite perduelles, parite laudem et lauream,
ut vobis victi Poeni poenas sufFerant.

ACTVS II

Ale, Credo ego Amorem primum apud homines carnifi-
cinam commentum.
banc ego de me coniecturam domi facio, ni foris

quaeram,
qui omnes homines supero^ antideo cruciabili-
tatibus animi.

iactor ^ agitor stimulor, versor
in anions rota, miser exanimor,
feror difFeror distrahor diripior,
ita nubilam mentem animi habeo. 209, 210

ubi sum, ibi non sum, ubi non sum, ibist animus,

ita mi omnia sunt ingenia ;
quod lubet, non lubet iam id continuo,
ita me Amor lassum animi ludificat, 214, 215

fugat, agit, appetit, raptat, retinet,

^ Leo brackets following atqtie.
* Leo brackets following crucior,

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this young man is madly in love with that found-
ling, the girl who recently went away in tears to
her mother, and she returns his love, making it
the sweetest kind of all. But no bliss endures
— such is human life. The young man's father
wishes to give him a wife. Our girl's mother, on
learning this, has had her daughter summoned
home. Now you have the situation, (assuming the
god as he turns to go)

Fare ye well, and win your victories by very
valour as heretofore ; hold fast your allies old and
new, and by just dealing add to your auxiliaries ;
lay low your foemen, earn laud and laurels, and
let the conquered Carthaginians feel your righteous
wrath. [exit Succour.

ACT II

ENTER Alcesimarchus, very woebegone.

Ale, I do believe it was Love that first devised the
torturer s profession here on earth. It's my own
experience — no need to look further — that makes
me think so, for in torment of soul no man rivals
me, comes near me. I'm tossed around, bandied
about; goaded, whirled on the wheel of love,
done to death, poor wretch that I am ! I'm
torn, torn asunder, disrupted, dismembered — ^yes,
all my mental faculties are befogged ! Where
I am, there I am not ; where I am not, there
my soul is — yes, I am in a thousand moods !
The thing that pleases me ceases to please a
moment later ; yes. Love mocks me in my weari-
ness of soul, — it drives me off, hounds me, seeks
me, lays hands on me, holds me back, lures,

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

lactatykrgitur; quod dat non

dat; deludit:
modo quod suasit^ id dissuadet^

quod dissuasit^ id ostentat. 2)9, 220

maritnmis moribus mecum ^experitur

ita meum frangit amantem animum ;
neque^ nisi quia miser non eo pessum^
mihi ulla abest perdito permities.
ita pater apud villam detinuit
me hos dies sex ruri continues^
neque licitum interea est meam amicam visere^

estne hoc mjserum memoratu ?

FRAGMENTA «

I nudiussextus 230

Ale. Potine tu homo facinus facere strenuom ?
II

Serv. Aliorum affatim est

qui faeiant. sane ego me nolo fortem perhiberi
virum.^
Serv, Sed quid istue ?

Ale, Mala muLta dici mihi tqIo.

Serv, Qua gratia ?

Ale, Quia vivo.

Serv, Facile id qiiidem edepol possum, si tu vis.

Ale, Volo.

^ Leo notes lacuna here : misero Schoell.

2 There are many hopeless lacnnae in the following
Fragments.

^ Leo notes lacuna following.
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lavishes ! It gives without giving ! beguiles me !
It leads me on, then warns me off ; it warns me
off, then tempts me on. It deals with me like the
waves of the sea — ^yes, batters my loving heart to
bits ; and except that I do not go to the bottom,
poor devil, my wreck's complete in every kind of
wretchedness ! Yes, my father has kept me at
the villa on the farm the last six successive days
and I was not allowed to come and see my darling
during all that time ! Isn't it a terrible thing to
tell of?

FRAGMENTS

Of several hundred lines that followed we have only
fragments (see Stndemund, Studien ii. 419). After further
soliloquy Alcesimarchus is about to go into hiB house
when he is told— perhaps by his ^Ltriensis — that Selenium
has left in anger. The atriensis re-enters the house to tell
Gymnasium of Alcesimarehus's return. Alcesimarchus,
distracted, at first thinks of forcible measures for regain-
ing her ; his slave, however, objects to playing a heroic
part and- probably recommends craft or reconciliation.
Then follows Alcesimarchus's self-reproach.

I six days ago.

Ale, My man, can you do an •energetic deed ?

Slave There's aplenty of others that can, sir. I'm not

keen for being counted a dauntless hero, myself, I

must say. » ♦ ♦
Slave But what does that mean ?
Ale, (hitterly) I want to be abused, badly.
Slave Whtftfor.?
Ak, For living.

Slave Lord, sir ! I can do that easily enough, if you like.
Ak. I do.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Serv. At enim ne tu exponas pugno os metuo in imperio

meo.
Ale, Numquam edepol faciam.
Serv, Fidem da.

Ale, Do, non facturum esse me.

sed ego primum, tot qui ab arnica abesse potuerim

dies,
sum nihili.
Serv, Nihili herele vero es.

Ale. Quam ego amarem ^ perdite,

quae me amaret contra.
Serv, Dignus herele es infortunio.

Ale, Ei me tot tam acerba faeere in corde.
Serv, Frugi nunquam eris. 240

Ale, Praesertim quae coniurasset mecum et firmasset

fidem,
Serv, Neque deos neque homines aequom est faeere tibi

posthac bene.
Ale, Quae esset aetatem exactura mecum in matri-

monio,
Sen\ Compedes te capere oportet neque eas unquam

ponere.
Ale. Quae mihi esset commendata et meae fidei con-

credita,
Serv, Herele te verberibus multum caedi oportere

arbitror.
Ale, Quae mellillam me vocare et suavium solitast

suom.
Serv, Ob istuc unum verbum dignu's, deciens qui furcam

feras.
Ale, Egomet laetor. sed quid auctor nunc mihi es ?
Serv. Dicam tibi :

supplicium illi des, suspendas te, ne tibi suscenseat. 250

^ Quatn ego aniarem Leo : A's reading uncertain.
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THE CASKET COMEDY

But you see, sir, I'm afraid you'll up with your

fists and lay my jaw out in my own kingdom.

No, no, really !

Give me your word.

I give it — not to do so. Now in the first place,

for having been able to stay away from my darling

all these days, I'm a worthless villain !
Slave (heartily) Gad, yes ! A worthless villain you are.
Ak, When I loved her to distraction, when she re-
turned my love !
Slave By gad, you ought to catch it !
Ale, To think that I could so often do things to make

her so sick at heart !
Slave There'll never be any good in you.
Ale. Especially since she gave me her solemn promise,

her sacred word,

Slave You haven't any right to favour from God or man

after this.
Ale, — when she was going to pass her days with me

as my wife,

Slave You ought to get yourself some shackles and

never take them off.
Ak, — when she was put in my keeping and trusted

to my honour,

Slave Gad, it's my opinion you ought to get a good hard

hiding.
Ak, — when she used to call me her little honey, her

love-kiss I
Slave You deserve to be pilloried ten times for that one

word.
Ak, Yes, and gladly ! But what do you advise now }
Slave I'll tell you : make amends to her — hang yourself,

so that she mayn't be angry with you.

Whether they evolve a plan is uncertain. Alcesimarchus
apparently expresses a Delief in the forgiving spirit of

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ale.

Quian

Serv.

Quid tu ergo te manuleo ^

Ale,

Quid si amo ?

Tert.

est amor

273

atque illam quam te amare intellego
si conclusos vos me habere in carc^re
amoris noctesque et dies
ni emortuos

milii nunquam quisquam
Tert. Immo maxumus.

nam qui amant stulte atque inmodeste atque

inprobe 280

ne ament.^ 281
Ak. ubi tu es ?

Serv. Ecce me. 283

Ale. I, adfer mihi arma et loricam adducito.

Serv. Loricam adduoam ?

Ale. I, curre, equom adfer.

Serv. Hercle hie insanit miser.

Ale. Abi atque hastatos multos, multos velites,

multos cum multis — nil moror precario.
ubi sunt quae iussi ?
Serv. Sanus hie non est satis.

Tert. Ab anu esse credo nocitum, cum illaec sic facit. 290

Serv. Vtrum deliras, quaeso, an astans somnias^

qui equom me adferre iubes, loricam adducere,
multos hastatos, post id multos velites,

* Leo notes lacutw, following.
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THE CASKET COMEDY

Selenium, the slave making a jesting reply. In a lost
scene Gymnasium probably enters from the house and
tells Alcesimarchus the true situation. Then a third
person enters : hk advioe does not prove soothing to
Alcesimarchus, but he finally follows this third person's
suggestion that he go to see Melaenis.

Ale, Because * * *

Slave Well, what are you * ♦ * you with her sleeve * ♦ *

A THIRD PBRSON ^ HAS ENTERED.

Ale, What if I'm in love ?

Third * * ♦ love is * * * and that girl I take it you're
in love with « « » let me have you two shut up
in prison * * * of love, both ni^t and day * * *
unless dead » « « to me never anyone « * *

Third Not at all, the greatest. For those whose love is
foolish, ungoverned, and unworthy * * * ought
not love at all.

Ale, ♦ * ♦ where are you ?

Slave Here, sir.

Ale, (wildly) Go ! Get me arms ! Bring me a corselet !

Slave (mystified) Bring a corselet ?

Ale, Go ! Run ! Get a horse !

Slave (aside) Good Lord ! The poor man's insane !

Ale, Be gone ! And hosts of spearsmen, hosts of light-
armed troops, hosts with hosts — (savagely) I'll
have no entreaties from you ! Where is what I
ordered ?

Slave (aside^ baeking away) The man's off his head !

Third (aside) I believe the old hag has done him an
injury, from the way he acts.

Slave For mercy's sake, sir, are you raving, or dreaming
on your feet — to order me to get a horse, bring a
corselet, hosts of spearsmen, and then hosts of

* Identity quite uncertain ; hardly Crymnasium, possibly
a friend of Alcesimarchus's father.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

multos cum multis ? haec tu pervorsario

mihi fabulatu's.
Ale. Dixin ego istaec, obsecro ?

Serv. Modo quidem hercle haec dixisti.

Ale. Non praesens quidem.

Serv. Praestigiator, siquidem hie non es atque ndes.

Tert. Video ego te Amoris valde tactum toxico,

adulescens ; eo te magis volo monitum.
Ale. Mone.

Tert. Cave sis cum Amore tu unquam bellum

sumpseris. 300

Ale. Quid faciam ?

Tert. Ad matrem eius devenias domum^

expurges, iures, ores blande per precem

eamque exores ne tibi suscenseat.
Ale. Expurigabo hercle omnia ad raucam ravim.^

Sen. prohibet divitiis maximis, dote altili atque opima.^
Ill

mulierculam exornatulam.^ quidem hercle

scita.
quamquam vetus cantherius sum, etiam nunc, ut

ego opinor,
adhinnire equolam possum ego banc, si detur sola

soli.

^ Leo notes lacuna following.
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light-armed troops, hosts with hosts ? That is the

sort of gibberish you've been talking to me.
Ak, (apparently surprised) /said that, for heaven's

sake ?
Slave Good Lord, of course you said it, just now !
Ale. I was not really here, at any rate.
Slave You're a real wizard, if you're here and not here,

both.
Third I see Love's poisoned shaft has pierced you through

and through, young man ; so I want to warn you

all the more.
Ale, Warn on.
Third Take care you never engage in war with Love ;

mind that.
Ale, What shall I do?
Third Go over to her mother's house ; clear yourself,

give her your oath, coax, implore her, prevail upon

her not to be incensed at you.
Ale. {eagerly) By heaven, I'll clear myself of everything

till I'm hoarse and husky !

Alcesimarchus's father enters and soliloquizes on his
purpose of finding Selenium and making her give up
Alcesimarchus. He takes Gymnasium, who enters from
Alcesimarchus's house, for Selenium. She sees his mis-
take, but, probably in the interest of Selenium, encourages
it, then finally undeceives him.

THE FATHER OF Alcesimarchus has entered.
Father the quantities of money, the fat, rich dowry she
in stands in the way oi\ ^ * * (seeing Gymnastum,

who has etitered from Alcestmarchm s house) A
precious dapper little wench ! * * * Gad ! She's
certainly a beauty! No matter if I am an
old hack, methinks I can still manage to whinny
to a little mare like her, if you'll put us alone
together.

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Gymn. Nimis opportune mi evenit rediisse Alc^simar-
chum;
nam sola nulla invitior solet esse.
Sen. Me vocato, 310

ne sola sis. ego tecum ero, volo ego agere, ut tu
agas aliquid.
Gi^mn, Nimis lepide exooneionavit hasce aedis Alcesi-

marchus.
Sen. Vt quom Venus adgreditur, placet; lefHduxBSt

amare semper.
Gymn, Venerem meram haec aedes olent^ quia amator

expolivit.
Sen, Non modo ipsa lepidast, commode quoque herde
fabulatur.
sed cum dicta huius interpretor, haec herclest, ut

ego opinor,
meum quae c(»*rumpit filium. suspiciost earn

esse,
utpote quam nunquam viderim ; de opinione credo,
nam hasce aedis conductas habet meus gnatus^

haec ubi astat.
hoc banc cam esse opiniost ; nam haec ilium

nominavit. ' 320

quid si adeam atque appellem. mali damnique
inlecebra, salve.
Gymn, vapulabis.

Sen, volo apud te.^ 323

Gymn, Intro abeo, 330

nam meretricem astare in via solam prostibuli
sanest^
Gymn, quid vis. 362

Sen. Volo ex te scire quidquid est

quid ego usquam male feci tibi aut mens quisquam,
id edisserta,

} Leo notes lacuna following.
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Gymn, {apparentfy not seeing him) My ! it's a lucky thing
for me that Alcesimarchus has come back ; there
isn't a girl loathes being alone more than I do.

Father (aside) Just call on me, if you don't want to be
alone. I'll stay with you; I should like the
business of keeping you busy.

Gymn, My ! it's lovely the way Alcesimarchus has deco-
rated this house !

Father (aside) When Venus enters, of course it's nice ;
love is always lovely.

Gymn. This house is fragrant of Venus's own self, just
because a lover has added the finishing touches.

Father (aside) It's not only herself that's lovely ! By
Jove ! The pretty things she says, too ! (pauses)
But to judge from her remarks, (reflecting further ;
then angrily) by Jove, she's the wench that is
corrupting my son, or I miss my guess ! It's only
a suspicion with me, never having seen her ; but
my guess amounts to belief. Yes, this is the
house my son hired, there where she's standing.
She's the one — ^that's my guess ; yes, she men-
tioned his name. What if I go up and have a
word with her ! (approaching) Good day, you
pestiferous, ruinous lure.

Gymn, ♦ » » you will get a beating, sir.

Father * ♦ * I wish at your house. ♦ * *

Gymn, I am going inside ; a courtesan who stands alone

in the street might be taken for a strumpet.
Gymn, * * * what you want.

Fatlier I want you to tell me whatever it is ♦ * * What
harm did I, or any member of my family, ever do
you — explain — that you are sending me and my

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

quam ob rem me meumque filium quom matre

remque nostram
habes perditui et praedatui ?
Gymn. Miser errat, ut ego dixi.

lepidast materies, ludam ego hunc> nam occasio

videtur.
potin operam inique equidem malam ut ne des
innocent! ?
Sen. Sed obsecro te, nullusnest tibi amator alius quis-
quam^
nisi meus modo unus filius ?
Gymn, Quem quidem ego amem, alius nemo est. 370

Sen. At ego^

Gymn. Nil moror ; damno sunt tui mihi similes.

Sen, Quidi
Gymn. isne est id arbitratus ? ^

Gymn. datores 373

IV negotioli bellissimi senices soletis esse.^

Syr a Me respondere postulas } iniurium est.

V stipulari semper me ultro oportet a viris,
eum quaestum facio, nil viris promittere.^

VI siquidem imperes pro copia, pro recula ^

^ Leo notes lacuna following.
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son and his mother and all we've got to rack and

ruin ?
Gymn. (aside) Mistaken^ poor man^ just as I said ! Oh^

here's a grand opportunity ! I'll have some fun

Mdth him now that I seem to have a chance.

(aloud) Can't you drop your abusing — ^yes, abusing

outrageously — an innocent girl ?
Father But haven't you any other lover, for heaven's

sake, except my only son ?
Gymn, Not a single soul besides — that is, that I can love.
Father But I » » »
Gymn. (indignantly) Never mind ! Men like you are the

ruination of me !
Father What * * *
Gymn, » ♦ ♦ Is this what he thought ? « » «

The old man makes love to her, and she probably refers
him to her mother, who, despite her promise to Selenium,
makes a bargain with him and takes Gymnasium home.
Lampadlo, soliloquizing (Fragments ix, x, xi, xii) upon
his virtues and experiences in connection with his commis-
sion, sees them as they go, recognizes Syra as the woman
who had picked up Selenium, and follows them. Alcesi-
marchus enters with Selenium and her mother. Selenium,
following her mother's instructions, refuses to listen to his
pleas and leaves.

Gymn, You old gentlemen generally give one just the
IV nicest little treats.

Syra You expect me to give you my word in return ?

v Outrageous ! The thing for me to do is always to

go ahead and get my terms from men — ^that's how
I make money — not to promise them a thing.

VI * * * that is, should you give orders according to

the resources, according to the small means ♦ # «

145

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Syra Quin is^ si itura es ? nimium is vegrandi gradu.

VII

Gymn, Pol ad cubituram^ mater^ magis sum exercita

VIII fere quam ad cursuram. eo sum tardiuseula. 380

IX meminere ofBcium suom.

X ita mustulentus ventus nares attigit.

XI capillo scisso atque exeissatis auribus

XII quae quasi earnifieis angiporta purigans ^ 384
non quasi nunc haee sunt liie^ limaces^ lividae^
febriculosae^ miserae amicae^ osseae^
diobolares, schoeniculae, miraeulae^

cum extritis talis, cum todillis crusculis ^ 408

Sel. Molestus es. 449

Ak, Meae issula sua aedes egent. ad me sine ducam.
Sel. Aufer manum. 450

Ak, Germana mea sororcula.

Sel Repudio te fraterculum.

Ak. Tum tu igitur, mea matercula.
Mel. Repudio te * puerculum.

Ak. Opsecro te
Sel. Valeas.

Ak. Vt sinas

Sel. Nil moror.

Ak. Expurigare me.

* Leo notes lacuna following.
■ jmerctdum Leo : fraiercvium MSS.
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Syra Why don't you go if you are going ? How you

VII do lounge along !

Gymn, Goodness me, mother, I've had more practice in

VIII l3^ing around, I should say, than in running
around. That's why I'm rather slowish.

IX ♦ ♦ * they remember their duty.

X * * * how the breath of new wine came to (my)
nostrils.

XI * * ♦ with torn hair and clipped ears « * *

XII ♦ « » cleaning these alleys like an executioner's
♦ * ♦ not the sort you find here nowadays, crea-
tures like slugs, livid, feverish, miserable wenches,
all bones, tuppenny, rush-scented^ monstrosities
with ankles all worn down and shanks the size
of a humming bird's ♦ ♦ »

Sel. You annoy me.

Ale, (fondly) My house misses its little pet. (trying to

draw her toward the door) Let me take her home.
Sel. Take your hand away ! (escapes)
Ale, My own dear little sister !
Sel. I refuse to have you for my little brother.
Ale, (pleadingly, to Melaenis) Well then, you — my dear

little mother I
Mel, I refuse to have you for my little boy.

Ale, I beseech you

Sel, Good-bye.

Ale, — to let me

Sel, Not I !

Ale, — clear myself.

^ Perfume, of a sort, was made from an aromatic rush.

147
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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Sel

Ale,

Sine dicam.

Mel

Satis sapit mihi tuis periuriis.
1 at nunc non potest.

Ale.

Supplicium poUiceri volo.

SeL

At mi aps te accipere non libet.

Ale.

Em omnia
patior iure infelix.

SeL

Volup est neque tis misereri decet.
quamquam hominem *

verba dare ^

non ilia ^ qui frangant foedera

460

eos^

SeL

dabis.

Ale,

At ego nee do neque te amittam hodie,

nisi quae volo tecum loqui
das mihi operam.

MeL

Potin ut mihi molestus ne sis ?

Ale,

Quin id est nomen mihi,
omnes mortales vocant molestum.^

obsecro.

MeL

At frustra obsecras.*

467

quia sine omni ^
Ale, Dabo 470

ius iurandum.2
MeL At ego nunc ab illo mihi caveo iure iurando tuo ;

similest ius iurandum amantum quasi ius con-
fusicium.
Ale, Nescia ^

MeL nugas agis ^. 474

Ak, Supplicium dabo 2 477

quo modo ego ^

* Leo notes lacuna here.

■ Leo notes lacuna following.

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Sel. « » «

Ale. Let me speak.

MeL I have had enough of your perjuries. ♦ ♦ ♦ but

now it*s impossible.
Ale, I want to promise satisfaction.
Sel, But I don't care to take it from you.
Ak. Ah ! Fm sufiering every torment, and rightly,

luckless wretch that I am !
Sel. Fm glad of it, and you don't deserve any pity.

Although a man « » « to be deceitful ♦ « ♦ not

those things * * * who break agreements m * m

them m * *
Sel, ♦ * * you will give. [exit Selenium,

Ale, But I will not, nor will I let you go this day,

unless you pay attention to what J want to say

to you.
Mel, Can't you stop annoying me ?
Ale, (dexpairmgly) Upon my word. Annoyance is my

very name — every living soul calls me that. * * ♦

I beseech you.
Mel, You beseech in vain, though. * * ♦ because

without all « ♦ «
Ah, ril give my solemn oath. * * *
Mel, But I'm on my guard against that solemn oath of

yours now ; lovers' solemn oaths are much like

solemn hodge-podge.
Ale, Ignorant ♦ * *
Mel, « » « nonsense. ♦ « ♦
Ak, I'll pay the. penalty * ♦ * in the way I ♦ ♦ *

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MeL quia es nactus novam,

quae ^ quaedam quasi tu nescias.^ 480

Ale, Di deaeque illam perdant ^ pariter.^

umquam^ si hoc fallo.
MeL Nil moror ^

falsum fallis^ eo te ^ ignorat fides,
postremo^ si mihi dedisses verba^ deis numquam
dares.
Ale, Quin equidem illam ducam uxorem.
Mel, Ducas, si '

nunc hoc si tibi commodumst^ quae ^
Ale. Instruxi illi aurum atque vestem.
Mel,^ siquidem amabas^^ illi instrui.

sed sino. iam hoc mihi responde quod ego te

rogavero :
instruxisti ^ 490

tibi ita ut voluisti ^
Ale, quod volo.

11.1,16

Mel, Eo facetu*s quia tibi aliast sponsa locuples Lemnia.
habeas, neque nos factione tanta quanta tu sumus
neque opes nostrae tarn sunt validae quam tuae ;

verum tamen
hau metuo ne ius iurandum nostrum quisquam

culpitet.
tu iam, si quid tibi dolebit, scies qua doleat gratia.
Ale. Di me perdant —

MeL Quodcumque optes, tibi velim contingere.

Ale, Si illam uxorem duxero umquam, mihi quam

despondit pater.
Mel, Et me, si umquam tibi uxorem filiam dedero meam.
Ale, Patierin me periurare .^

* Leo notes lacuna following.
2 Corrupt (Leo) : pariliter ScfaoeQ.
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Mel, * * ♦ because you have come upon a new girl,
who * * * a certain girl, as if you didn't know.
« « «

Ak, May all the powers above consume her likewise !

* * * ever, if I prove false in this.

Mel. I want none * ♦ * you are false, false, so you

* ♦ ♦ faith does not know. In short, if you had
fooled me, you would never be fooling the gods.

Ale, But upon my soul, I will marry her.

Mel. You would marry, if * ♦ * now if this suits you,
the one that « « «

Ale. I fitted her out with jewellery and clothes.

Mel. * ♦ * that is, if you were in love ♦ * ♦ her to
be fitted out. But never mind. Now answer me
this question I'm going to ask : you have fitted
out « « « to you just as you wished * * ♦

Ah, ♦ ♦ ♦ what I wish.

Mel, What makes you so smart is your engagement to
another girl, the rich Lemnian. Take her ! We
aren't people of importance like you, and we
aren't blessed with your money ; but just the
same I have no fear of anyone finding fault with
the way we keep our solemn promises. As for
you now, if you suffer at all, you'll know why you
suffer.

Ale. {earnestly) Heaven's curse on me

Mel. (tvith chill vigour) God grant your every prayer !

^Ic, — if I ever marry that girl to whom my father
engaged me.

Mel. And on me, if I ever let you marry my daughter.

Ale, You'll let me perjure myself?

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Mel. Pol te aliquanto facilius^ 500

quam me meamque rem perire et ludificari filiam.
alibi quaere ubi iuri iurando tuo satis sit subsidi :
hie apud nos iam, Alcesimarche, confregisti
tesseram.
Ale. Face semel periclum,

Mel. Feci saepe, quod factum queror.

Ale. Redde mi illam.

Mel. Inter iiovam rem verbum usurpabo vetus :

quod dedi datum non vellem^ quod relicuomst non
dabo.
Ale. Non remissura es mihi illam ?
Mel. Pro me responsas tibi.

Ale. Non remittes ?

Mel. Scis iam dudum omnem meam sententiam.

Ale. Satin istuc tibi in corde certumst ?
Mel. Quin ego commentor quidem.

Ale. Non edepol ego istaec tua dicta nunc in auris

recipio. 5 1 0

Mel. Non ? hem^ quid agis igitur ? animum advorte iam,

ut quid agas scias.
Ale. At ita me di deaeque, superi atque inferi et
medioxumi,
itaque me luno regina et lovis supremi filia
itaque me Saturnus eius patruos —
Mel. Ecastor pater.

Ale. Itaque me Ops opulenta illius avia —
Mel. Immo mater quidem.

j^. luno filia et Saturnus patruos et summus luppiter —
tu me delenis, propter te haec pecco,
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MeL Indeed 1 will let you, rather more readily than
let myself and my prospects go to perdition and
let my daughter be made a fool of. Look else-
where for someone to set store by your solemn
promises. As for friendship with us now, Alcesi-
marchus, you have torn up your title to it.

Ale. Test me just once.

MeL I have tested you often, to my sorrow.

Ale, Do give her back to me.

MeL To apply the old proverb to a new situation : '' I
regret what I gave ; what is left I shall keep."

Ale. (plaintively) You're not going to send her back to
me ?

MeL (mockingly) You answer yourself for me.

Ak. You won't send her back }

MeL You already know my entire intention.

Ale. (despairingly) That's really firmly fixed in your
mind }

MeL (flippantly) Well, 1 am repeating it times enough,
at any rate.

Ale. (indignant) Good heavens ! I lend no ears to
those quips of yours now !

MeL (dryly) No ? Hm ! What are you doing, then ? Pay
attention now, so as to know what you are to do.

Ale. (wildly) Now so may all the gods and goddesses,
of Heaven, of Hell, and of in between, so may
Juno the queen and the daughter of almighty
Jove, so may Saturn, his uncle

MeL (calmly) Mercy no, his father.

Ale. • — so may Ops the opulent, his grandmother

MeL No, no, his mother, you mean.

Ale. — so may Juno, his daughter, and Saturn, his
uncle, and Jupiter on high — (piteotisly) it's you,
you're bewitching me, it's your fault that I make
these mistakes !

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Mel. Perge dicere.

Ale. Anne etiam^ ut quid consultura sis sciam, pergis

eloqui ?
Mel, Non remittam. definitumst.
Ale. Enim vero ita me luppiter

itaque me luno itaque lanus ita — quid dicam

nescio. 520

iam scio. immo^ mulier^ audi^ meam ut scias sen-

tentiam.
di me omnes, magni minuti^ et etiam patellarii
faxint, ne ego dem vivae vivos savium Selenio,
nisi ego teque tuamque ^ filiam meque hodie

obtruncavero,
poste aut^ cum primo luci eras nisi ambo

oceidero,
et equidem hercle nisi pedatu tertio^ omnis

efflixero,
nisi tu illam remittis ad me. dixi quae volui. vale.
MeL Abiit intro iratus. quid ego nunc agam } si re-

dierit
ilia ad hunc^ ibidem loci res erit ; ubi odium occe-

perit,
illam extnidet^ tum banc uxorem Lemniam ducet

domum. 530

sed tamen ibo et persequar. amens ne quid faciat^

cauto opust.
postremo, quando aequa lege pauperi cum divite
non licet^ perdam operam potius quam carebo filia.
sed quis hie est qui recta platea cursum hue con-

tendit suom }
et illud paveo et hoc formido, ita tota sum misera

in metu.

^ Corrupt (Leo) : Jiliam {(uque) Schoell.
^ Corrupt (Leo) : efflizero omnia terlio Leo.
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MeL (contemptuously) Proceed, proceed.

Ak. And aren't you going to proceed — to let me know
your verdict once more ?

MeL I will not send her back. That is final.

Ale. (wildly again) Now upon my soul, so may Jupiter,
so may Juno, so may Janus, so may — (pausing
vacuously) I don't know what I want to say.
(reanimated, as Melaenis turns to go) Now I know !
Yes, yes, listen, woman, so that you may know my
intentions, (impressively tragic) May all the gods,
great gods, small gods, and platter ^ gods, too,
prevent my kissing Selenium so long as she and 1
exist, unless I butcher you and your daughter
and my own self this very day — and then to-
morrow at early dawn murder you both — ^yes,
by heaven, and at my third assault exterminate
your whole household — ^unless you send her back
to me ! I have spoken ! Farewell ! (rmkes into
house) *

MeL (looking after him, somewhat concamed) Gone inside,
in a rage ! What shall 1 do now ? If the girl
goes back to him, we'll be in the same situation
as before ; once he begins to tire of her, he'll
pack her off, and then marry this Lemnian woman.
However, I'll go and follow him up. I must take
care he doesn't do anything while he's mad. And
finally, seeing that the law for rich and poor is not
the same, I'll waste my time rather than lose my
daughter, (looking donm the street) But who's this
running straight up the street here at full tilt ?
(steps hastily into Alcesimarchus' s doorway) I'm
afraid of one thing, and frightened at this other !
Oh dear me, I'm scared through and through !

^ The Lares.

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II. 2,

Lamp, Anum sectatus sum clamore per vias,

miserrumam habui. ut illaec hodie quot modis

moderatrix linguae fuit atque immemorabilis.

quot illi blanditias, quid illi promisi boni,

quot admoenivi fabricas, quot fallacias 540

in quaestione. vix exculpsi ut diceret,

quia ei promisi dolium vini dare.

II. 3.

Phan, Audire vocem visa sum ante aedis modo

mei Lampadisci servi.
Lamp, Non surda es, era :

recte audivisti.
Phan, Quid agis hie ?

Lamp, Quod gaudeas.

Phan, Quid id est ?
Lamp, Hinc ex*hisce aedibus paulo prius

vidi exeuntem mulierem.
Phan, Illam quae meam

gnatam sustulerat ?
Lamp, Rem tenes.

Phan, Quid postea }

Lamp, Dice ei, quo paeto eam ab hippodromo viderim

erilem nostram filiam sustollere. 550

extimuit turn ilia.
Mel, lam horret corpus, cor salit.

nam mihi ab hippodromo memini adferri parvolam

puellam eamque me mihi supponere.
Phan, Age perge, quaeso. animus audire expetit

ut gesta res sit.
Mel, Vtinam audire non queas.^

* Leo notes lacuna following.
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Scene 2. enter Lampadio on the run.

Lamp, (highly pleased with himself) 1 followed the old hag
through the streets with hue and cry ! oh, how 1
worried her ! And how she did check herself and
refuse to speak ! How I wheedled her I Wliat
rewards 1 promised her I The ruses and tricks I
tried, pumping her! I just did manage to pry
her tongue loose by promising her a tun of wine.

Scene 3. enter Phanostrata into doorway.

Phan, I thought I heard the voice of my good servant
Lampadio in front of the house just now.

Lamp, You're not deaf, ma'am : you heard rightly.

Phan, What are you doing here ?

Lamp. Something to cheer you up,

Phan, What is it ?

Lamp, {importantly) A little while ago, as she was leaving
the house here, (pointing to house of Alcesimarchus)
I saw a woman.

Phan, (excited) The one that picked up my child ?

Lamp. You've hit it.

Phan. What then }

Lamp. I told her how I saw her pick up my mistress's
daughter there at the hippodrome. That scared
her!

Mel. (aside) Oh, I'm all of a tremble! My heart's
jumping up and down ! Why, 1 remember it was
from the hippodrome the little girl was brought
to me and I passed her off as my own.

Phan. Come, come, go on, I beg you ! I'm burning to
hear what happened !

Mel. (aside) How I wish you couldn't hear !

Part of the scene is lost. Lampadio tells of meeting
Gymnasium, whom he at first mistakes for Selenium.

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Lamp, Pergo illam onerare dictis : " illaec ted anus
fortunis ex secundis ad miseras vocat.
nam illaec tibi nutrix est, ne matrem censeas.
ego te redueo et revoco ad summas ditias,
ubi tu locere in luculentam familiam, 560

unde tibi talenta magna viginti pater
det dotis ; non enim hie, ubi ex Tusco modo
tute tibi indigne dotem quaeras corpore."

Phan. An, amabo, meretrix ilia est quae illam sustulit ?

Lamp. Immo ^ fuit ; sed ut sit de ea re, eloquar.
iam perducebam illam ad me suadela mea,
anus ei amplexa est genua, plorans, obsecrans,
ne deserat se. eam suam esse filiam,
seque eam peperisse sanete adiurabat mihi.
^^istanc quam quaeris," inquit, ^^ego amicae meae 570
dedi, quae educaret eam pro filiola sua ;
et vivit," inquit. " ubi ea est ?" inquam extempulo.

Phan, Servate di med obsecro.

Mel, At me perditis.

Pkan, Quoi illam dedisset exquisisse oportuit.

Lamp, Quaesivi, et dixit meretrici Melaenidi.

Mel, Meum elocutust nomen, interii oppido.

Lamp, Vbi elocuta est, ego continuo ^ interrogo :

" ubi habitat ? " inquam ^ due ac demonstra mihi."
"avecta est" inquit ^^peregre hinc habitatum."

^ Leo brackets followiog mtretrix,
* Leo brackets following anum,
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Lamp, I go on cramming her full : " That old hag's
inviting you from grandeur to misery,** says I.
'^ Why, she's only your nurse ; don't take her for
your mother. As for me, Fm taking and inviting
jovL back to boundless wealth, to a place in a
splendid family, to a father that'll give you a four
thousand pound dowry. And that's certainly not
the case here, where you'd have to earn your own
dowry in vile Tuscan ^ fashion by selling yourself."

Phan. (hornfied) What ? my dear man ! Is the woman
that picked her up a prostitute ?

Lamp, No, but she was. But I'll tell you the whole
story. 1 was just winning the girl over by my
persuasiveness when the old woman hugged her
knees, blubbering and beseeching her not to
desert her. She gave me her solemn oath that
the girl was her own daughter, that she herself
had given birth to her. ^^ The girl you're looking
for I gave to a friend of mine," says she, "to
bring up as her own little daughter. And she's
alive," says she. " Where is this woman ? " says
I, at once.

Phan, {much agitated) Oh, God save me, God save me !

Mel. (aside, sourly) But you're destroying me, God !

Phan, You should have inquired to whom she gave her.

Lamp, So I did, and she said, " To Melaenis, a courtesan.'*

MeL {aside) He's let out my name ! It's all over with
me, absolutely !

Lamp, As soon as she let this out, I questioned her.
" Where does she live ? " says I. " Come on and
show me." " She's gone abroad to live," says
she.

^ lu Lydia, thought to be the original home of the
Tuscans, this was said to be the practice (cf. Herodotus 1.
93). The Tuscan quarter in Rome was in bad repute.

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Mei Obsipat

aculam.
Lamp, ^' Quo avecta est, eo sequemur. sicine 580

agis nugas ? periisti hercle, ni ^ mihi dixeris

ubi habitet nunc ? " non hercle hoc longe
destiti

instare, usque adeo donee se adiurat anus

iam mihi monstrare.
Phan. At non missam oportuit.

Lamp. Servatur. sed illaec se quandam aibat mulierem f

suam bene volentem convenire etiam prius,

commune quacum id esset sibi negotium.

et scio venturam.
Mel. Me indicabit, et suas

ad meas miserias alias ^ adiunget mala

Seleniumque fraudis faciet consciam. 590

Phan. Quid nunc vis facere me ?
Lamp. Intro abi atque ammo bono es.

vir tuos si veniet, iube domi opperirier,

ne in quaestione mihi sit, si quid eum velim.

ego ad anum recurro rursum.
Phan. Lampadio, obsecro,

cura.
Lamp. Perfectum ego hoc dabo negotium.

Phan. Deos teque spero.

Lamp. Eosdem ego, uti abeas domum.

Mel. Adulescens, asta atque audi.
Lamp. Men, mulier, vocas ?

Mel. Te.
Lamp. Quid negoti est ? nam occupatus sum ampUter.

^ ni {mihi dixeris ubi hahitet nunc." rum hercle) Schoell :
not in MSS.

2 alias {adiunget mala Seleniumque fraudis) faciet con-
sciam Schoell : alias faciem consciam MSS.

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MeL (reviving) Ah, that's as good as a dash of cold
water !

Lamp, " Wherever she's gone, we'll follow her/' says I.
" Trying that sort of nonsense, are you ? It will
be a sad day for you, if you don't tell me where
she lives this moment." And by gadj I didn't
give her the least bit of rest, no ma'am, till the
old hag swore she'd show me this Melaenis right
soon.

Phan, But you ought not to have let her go.

Lamp. She's being watched. But she said she wanted
to see a certain woman first, a friend of hers that
had an interest in the matter, too. And I know
she'll come.

MeL {aside) She'll tell on me, and add her own troubles
to mine, the wretch, and let Selenium know how
I deceived her.

PAaw. What do you want me to do now ?

Lamp. Go inside and keep your spirits up, ma'am. If
your husband comes, tell him to wait at home, so
that I shan't have to hunt him up in case I want
him for anything. I'll hurry back to the old
woman again, myself.

Pkan. Do, do, take pains with this, Lampadio.

Lamp, (with aplomb) I will, I'll carry the thing through
for you.

Pkan. (turning to go) My hope is in you and in the gods.

Lamp. And mine is in the same powers — (in lower tone)
that you'll be off home.

[exit Phanostrata into house.

Mel. (stepping out of doorway as Lampadio is about to go)
Young man ! Stop ! Listen !

Lamp, (supercilious) Is it me you are calling, woman ?

MeL Yes, you.

Lamp. What do you want ^ I am an extremely busy man.

16I

VOL II. M

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

MeL Quis istic habitat ?

Lamp, Demipho dominus meus.

MeL Nempe istic est, qui Alcesimarcho filiam 600

suam despondit in divitias maxumas ?
Lamp. Is ipsust.
MeL Eho tu, quam vos igitur filiam

nunc quaeritatis alteram ?
Lamp. Ego dicam tibi :

non ex uxore natam uxoris filiam.
MeL Quid istuc est verbi ?
Lamp. Ex priore muliere

nata, inquam, meo ero est filia.
MeL Certe modo

huius, quae locuta est, quaerere albas filiam.
Lamp. Huius ergo quaero.
MeL Quo modo igitur, obsecro,

haec est prior, quae nupta nunc est ?
Lamp. Conteris

tu tua me oratione, mulier, quisquis es. 6lO

medioxumam quam duxit uxorem, ex ea

nata est haec virgo, Alcesimarcho quae datur.

ea uxor diem obiit. iam scis ?
MeL Teneo istuc satis.

sed ego illud quaero confragosum, quo modo

prior posterior sit et posterior sit prior ?
Lamp. Prius hanc compressit quam uxorem duxit domum,

prius gravida facta est priusque peperit filiam ;

eam postquam peperit, iussit parvam proici.

ego eam proieci, alia mulier sustulit,

ego inspectavi. erus hanc duxit postibi. 620

eam nunc puellam filiam eius quaerimus.

quid nunc supina susum in caelum conspicis }

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THE CASKET COMEDY

Mel. Who lives there ? (pointing to the house Phanostrata
had entered)

Lamp. Demipho^ my master.

Mel. You mean the Demipho that's arranged such a
fine match for his daughter with Alcesimarchus ?

Lamp. The very one. (moves away again)

Mel. Hey, you ! Then who*s this other daughter you
folks are looking for now ?

Lamp, {nonchalantly) Til tell you : she wasn't bom of his
wife ; she's his wife's daughter.

Mel Eh? What's that?

Lamp. She's my master's daughter by a former woman, 1
say.

MeL Surely you just now said you were looking for the
daughter of the woman that was talking here.

Lamp. Well, so I am.

Mel. Then for heaven's sake, how is she a former
woman when she's his present wife ?

Lamp. You wear me out with your prating, woman, who-
ever you are. The in-between wife he had — it's
her daughter that is engaged to Alcesimarchus.
This wife passed away. D'ye see the point
now?

Mel. I see that all right. But I'm asking about the
point I founder on — how is the former one the
later one, and the later one the former ?

Lamp. He wronged her before he married her ; she was
got with child before, and bore a daughter before ;
and after she bore it she ordered the baby to be
abandoned. I abandoned it myself; a woman
picked it up ; I watched her. Later on my
master married this former woman. Now we're
looking for her daughter, the aforesaid girl.
Well, why are you bent backwards staring up at
the sky ?

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Mel. Ei nunciam istuc quo properabas, nil moror.
nunc intellexi.

iMmp. Dis hercle habeo gratiam^

nam ni intellexes, numquam^ credo, amitteres.

Mel. Nunc mihi bonae necessumst esse ingratiis,

quamquam esse nolo, rem palam esse intellego.

nunc egomet potius hanc inibo gratiam

ab illis, quam illaec me indicet. ibo domum,

atque ad parentes redducam Selenium. 630

ACTVS III

MeL Rem elocuta sum tibi omnem; sequere hac me,
Selenium,

ut eorum quoiam esse oportet te sis potius quam
mea.

quamquam invita te carebo, animum ego inducam
tamen

ut illud quem ad modum tuam in rem bene con-
ducat consulam.

nam hie crepundia insunt, quibuscum te ilia olim
ad me detulit,

quae mihi dedit, parentes te ut cognoscant facilius.

accipe hanc cistellam, Halisca. agedum pulta illas
fores.

die me orare ut aliquis intus prod eat propere ocius.

Ale. Recipe me ad te, Mors, amicum et benevolum.
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MeL (coming out of her abstraction) Go along now where
you were hunying. Fm not keeping you. Now
I understand.

Lamp, Well, thank God for that ! Otherwise I do believe
you'd never have let me go. [exit.

Mel. Now IVe got to be a good woman, willy nilly, no
matter if I don't want to be. Everything's out,
I see that. Now Til just let them give me the
credit for this, rather than let her tell on me.
ril go home and bring Selenium back to her
family. [exit.

ACT III

{An hour has elapsed)
ENTER Melaenis, Selenium, and Halisca.
MeL {to Selenium) I've told you the whole story, {going
toward Demiphos house) Come, Selenium, this way
— so as to be the daughter of those who ought to
have you, instead of mine, {unctuously) I hate to
lose you, but just the same Til persuade myself
to take this step in such a way as to benefit you.
{producing a little casket^ Now in here are the toys
you had when that woman brought you to me
years ago. She gave them to me so as to make it
easier for your parents to recognize you. (handing
the casket to the maid) Halisca, take this casket.
Come now, knock at the door {pointing to Demiphos
house) there. Say I'm anxious for someone to hurry
out here at once.

ENTER Alcesimarchus, sword in hand, from his

HOUSE.

Ale. {tragically, apparently not seeing the wmnen) Take
me. Death, take me to thyself, a friend that loves
thee well !

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Sel, Mater mea, 639, 640

periimus miserae.
Ale. Vtrum hac me feriam an ab laeva latus ?

MeL Quid tibi est ?

Sel, Alcesimarchum non vides ? ferrum tenet.

Ak. Ecquid agis ? remorare. lumen linque.
Sel. Amabo, accurrite,

ne se interemat.
Ale. O Salute mea salus salubrior,

tu nunc, si ego volo seu nolo, sola me ut vivam facis.
Mel. Haud voluisti istue severum facere.
Ale. Nil mecum tibi,

mortuos tibi sum ; banc ut habeo certum est non
amittere ;

nam hercle iam ad me adglutinandam totam de-
cretum est dare.

ubi estis, servi ? occludite aedis pessulis, repagulis

ilico. banc ego tetulero intra limen.
Mel. Abiit, abstulit 650

mulierem. ibo, persequar iam ilium intro, ut haec
ex me sciat

eadem, si possum tranquillum facere ex irato niihi.

ACTVS IV

Lamp. Nullam ego me vidisse credo magis anum excrucia-
bilem
quam illaec est, quae dudum fassa est mihi quaene

infitias eat.
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THE CASKET COMEDY

SeL (seeing him) Mother dear ! Oh, this is dreadfiil !

Ale, {testing the point of his sword on his breast) On this
side, or on the left — where shall I deal the blow ?

MeL {to Selenium) What ails you ?

Sel. (pointing) Alcesimarchus ! Don't you see him ?
With a sword !

Ale. (in self-reproof) Art in earnest ? Laggard ! Leave
the light of day !

Sel, (to Melaenis and Halisca) Run, save him, I beg
you, or he'll destroy himself! (all three dash
toward him, Halisca dropping the casket)

Ale. (to Selenium, who clings to him) Oh my salvation,
sweeter than Salvation's self ! Thou, thou alone,
dost make me live, whether I would or no !

MeL (suspiciously) You never meant to do anything so
violent.

Ale. (to Melaenis, stormily) I have naught with thee !
For thee I am dead ! I have this girl, never more
to let her go ! For, by the Lord, I vow I'll make
her mine this moment, all mine, indissolubly mine I
(calling at door) Slaves, where are you ? Shut the
doors, bar them, bolt them this instant ! I'll bear
her within my portals ! [exit carrying Selenium.

Mel. He's gone ! He's carried off the girl ! TU go in,
I'll follow him up this minute, and be the one
to tell him all I told her and see if I can't put
him in a better temper with me.

[exeunt Melaenis and Halisca into house.

ACT IV

enter Lampadio looking sour.

Lamp, (vehemently) I never did see a more hangable old
hag than she is, I do believe ! Why, she denies
what she just now confessed, eh ?

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

sed eccam eram video, sed quid hoc est, haee
quod cistella hie iacet

cum crepundiis? nee quemquam eonspicor alium
in via.

faciundum est puerile officium : conquiniscam ad
cistulam.
Phan, Quid agis, Lampadio ?
Lamp. Haee cistella numnam hinc ab nobis domo est ?

nam hinc ab ostio iacentem sustuli.
Phan, Quid nuntias

super anu ?
Lamp, Scelestiorem in terra nullam esse alteram. 660

omnia infitiatur ea quae dudum confessa est mihi.

nam hercle ego quam illam anum inridere me ut
sinam, satiust mihi

quovis exitio interire.
Phan, Di, obsecro vostram fidem.

Lamp, Quid deos obsecras ?
Pkan. Servate nos.

Lamp, Quid est ?

Phan, Crepundia

haee sunt, quibuscum tu extulisti nostram filiolam
ad necem.
Lamp, Sanane es ?
Phan, Haee sunt profecto.

Lamp, Pergin }

Phan, Haee sunt.

Lamp, Si mihi

alia mulier istoc pacto dicat, dicam esse ebriam.
Phan, Non ecastor falsa memoro.
Lamp^ Nam, obsecro, unde haee gentium ?

aut quis deus obiecit banc ante ostium nostrum,
quasi

dedita opera, in tempore ipso ?
Phan, Spes mihi sancta subveni. 670

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ENTER Pharuystrata into her doorway.
Aha, though ! there's the mistress, (seeing the
casket) But what does this mean ? A little casket
lying here — ^with toys ? (looking about warily) No
one else in the street, apparently. I must play
the boy's part now. Ill use the chest to squat on.

Phan, What are you doing, Lampadio ?

Lamp, This casket — can it have come from our house ?
It was lying here by the door when I picked it up.

Phan, What is your news about the old woman ?

Lamp, (disgustedly) That there's not a worse reprobate on
the face of the earth. She denies everything she
owned up to a little while ago. Now, by gad,
sooner than let that old hag give me the laugh, I'd
die any death you please !

Phan, (glancing at the toys) God be merciful ! (seizes the
casket and excitedly examines the contents)

Lamp, What's that appeal for ?

Phan, Heaven preserve us !

Lamp, What's the matter ?

Phan, These are the toys my little girl had with her
when you left her to die.

Lamp, Are you crazy ?

Phan, (continuing her examination) They're certainly the
ones !

Lamp, Crazy still, eh ?

Phan, They are !

Lamp, If any other lady talked that way to me, ma'am,
I should say she was drunk.

Phan, What I say is true, I swear it is I

Lamp, Now where in the world did it come from, for
heaven's sake ? D'ye think some god tossed it
in front of our door, on purpose, right in the nick
of time ?

Phan, Oh, heavenly Hope, do help me !

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IV. 2.

Hal. Nisi quid mi opis di dant^ disperii^ neque unde
auxilium expetam habeo.
itaque ^ petulantia mea me animi miseram habet.
quae in tergum meum ne veniant^ male

formido,
si era mea me sciat tam socordem esse quam

sum.
quamne in manibus tenui atque accepi hie

ante aedis
cistellam^ ubi ea sit nescio, nisi ut opinor
loca haec circiter excidit mihi.
mei homines^ mei spectatores^ facite indicium^ si

quis vidit,
quis eam abstulerit quisve sustulerit et utrum hac
an iliac iter institerit.

non sum scitior, quae hos rogem aut quae

fatigem, 680

qui semper malo muliebri sunt lubentes.
nunc vestigia hie si qua sunt noscitabo.
nam si nemo hac praeter iit^ postquam intro

abii,
cistella hie iaceret. quid hie ? perii, opinor.
actum est^ ilicet me infelicem et scelestam.
nulla est, neque ego sum usquam. perdita

perdidit me.
sed pergam ut coepi tamen, quaeritabo.
nam et intus paveo et foris formido,
ita nunc utrubique metus me agitat. 688 a

ita sunt homines misere miseri.
ille nunc laetus est, quisquis est, qui illam
habet, 690

170

^ Corrupt (Leo) : {et) pettdantia Schoell.

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THE CASKET COMEDY

Scene 2. enter Halisca badly frightened^ from house
OF Alcesimarchus.

Hal. If heaven doesn't rescue me, I'm dead and done
for, with not a .soul to look to for aid ! Oh, how
miserable my own heedlessness makes me ! Oh !
how I dread what will happen to my back, if my
mistress finds out I've been so negligent ! (thinking)
Surely I had that little casket in my hands and
received it from her here in front of the house —
and where it is now I don't know, unless I dropped
it somewhere about here, as I suspect, (to atidience)
Dear gentlemen, dear spectators, do tell me if
anyone of you saw him, the man who carried it off
or who picked it up. Did he go {pointing) this
way, or that ? (pauses, then indignantly) Vm none
the wiser for asking or pestering them — the
creatures always enjoy seeing a woman in trouble !
Now I'll (scans the ground) examine the footprints
here, in case I can find any. • For if no one passed
by after I went inside, the casket would be lying
here, (looking about again, then hopelessly) What
am I to do } I'm done for, I fancy ! It's all
over, my day has come, unlucky, fated wretch
that I am ! Not a trace of it, and there won't be
a trace left of me, either ! It's lost, and so I'm
lost, too ! But I won't give up, though ; I'll keep
on looking. Oh, my heart's in a flutter and my
back's in a fright — fear on both sides driving me
frantic ! What poor, poor things human beings
are ! Now he's happy, whoever he is, that has

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quae neque ilia illi quicquam

Usui et mi exitio est.
sed memet moror, quom hoc ago setius.
Halisca^ hoc age^ ad terrain aspice et

despice,
oculis investiges, astute augura.
Lamp, Era.

Pkan. Hem quid est ?
Lamp, Haec est.

Phan. Quis est?

Lamp. Quoi haec excidit cistella.

Phan, Certe est, eum locum signat, ubi ea excidit, apparet.
HaL Sed is hac iit, hac socci video

vestigium in pulvere, persequar hac.
in hoc iam loco cum altero constitit. hie
meis turba oculis modo se obiecit. 699a

neque prorsum iit hac ; hie stetit, hinc illo
exiit. hie concilium fuit. 700a

ad duos attinet, liquidumst. attat,

singulum video vestigium. 701a

sed is hac abiit. contemplabor. hinc hue iit, hinc

nusquam abiit.
actam rem ago. quod periit, periit, meum corium

cum cistella.
redeo intro.
Phan, Mulier, mane, sunt qui volunt te conventam.

HaL Quis me revocat ?

Lamp, Bona femina et malus masculus volunt te.

Hal.^ postremo ille

'- Leo notes lacuna here : bona femina et main ' masctdtis
volunt me Lindsay.

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it — something that's no use to him and the death

of me ! But Fm delaying myself by not setting

to work. To work, Halisca ! Eyes on the

ground, eyes down ! Track it — sharp now — ^like an

augur ! {looks for footprints, her nose close to the

ground)

{aside to Phanostrata) Mistress !

Well? What is it?

She's the one !

What one?

That dropped the casket.

She certainly is. She's marking the place where

she dropped it. It's plain enough.

Hal. But he went this way . . . here's the mark of a
shoe in the dust . . . I'll follow it up this way !
Now here's where he stopped with someone else
. . . Here's the scene of the fracas^ I saw a moment
ago . . . No, he didn't go on this way ... he
stood here . . . from here he went over there . . ,
A consultation was held here . . . There are two
people concerned, that's clear as day . . . Aha !
Just one person's tracks ! . . . He went this way,
though . . . I'll investigate . . . From here he
went over here . . . from here he went —
{after an energetic and foUile search) nowhere !
{with wry resignation) It's no use. What's lost
is lost — the casket and my cuticle together. I'm
going back inside. {approaches Alcesimarchus*s
door)

Phan, Wait, my girl. Some people wish to see you.

Hal. {indifferently) Who's calling me back ?

iMmp. A good woman and a bad man want you.

Hal. {aside) Oh well, the man calling knows more

' Referring to lines 740 aeq,

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

plus qui vocat scit quod velit^ quam ego quae
vocor. revortor.^
Lamp. Quid quaeritabas ?

Hal. Mi homo et mea mulier^ vos saluto.

Phan, Et nos te. sed quid quaeritas ?
Hal. Vestigium hie requiro,

qua aufugit quaedam ^ aestio ^
Lamp. Quid id ? quid nam est ?

Hal. Alienum^ concinnat malum et maerorem famili-

arem.
Lamp. Mala mers, era, haec et eallida est.
Phan. Ecastor ita videtur.

1 Leo brackets following vv., 708-722, as dittography of

vv. 723-741 :

ecquem vidisti iquaerere hiCf amdbo, in hac regione

ciatellam cum crepundiis, quam ego hie amisi miaera /

nam dvdum vt accucurrimua ad Alcesimarchum, ne se 710

vita interemeretf tum eam mihi opinor excidisae.
Lamp. Ciatellam haec mvlier perdidit. taceamu.% era, parumper.
Hal. Diaperii miaera. quid ego erae dicam ? qtuie me opere tarUo

aervare iuaait, qui svx>a Selenium pa/rentea

facUius posaet noacere, quae erae \meae'\ auppoaita eat parva,

quam quaedam m^retrix ei dedit.
Lamp. Noatram haec rem fabulaturf

hanc acire oportet, JUia tua vbi sit, aigna ut dicit.
Hal. Nunc eam volt attae m^atri et patri, quibua nata eat, reddere
vitro.

mi homo, ohaecro, aliaa rea geria, ego tihi m^aa rea mando.
Lamp. latuc ago, atque istic mihi cihua eat, quod fahxdare, 720

aed inter rem agendam iata/m era^ huic reapondi quod
rogahat.

nunc ad te redeo : ai quid eat opua, die, impetratumat.
• Leo notes lacuna following : {ac plurihua m)aeatit{iam

dat) Leo.
' Alienum (concinnat malum) Leo and Schoell : not in

MSS.

174

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about his wants than the woman called does.

Back I go.^
Lamp. What were you looking for ?

Hal. Good day to you, my dear sir, and to you, ma'am.
Phan. And to you. But what are you looking for .''
Hal. I'm trying to find where a certain article has

disappeared.
Lamp, What is it ? What on earth is it ?
Hal. It will bring trouble to other folks and tribulation

to us.
Lamp, (to Phanostrata) She's a bad piece of goods,

ma'am ; she's a wily one.
Phan. Yes indeed, so it seems.

1 Vv. 708-722 : .

Hal. Tell me, sir, have you seen anyone looking round about
here for a little casket with toys in it, that I lost here,
poor wretch that I am ? You see, just a few moments
ago, when we ran up to Alcesimarchus so as to keep him
from committing suicide, I think I dropped it.

Lamp, {aside to Phanostrata) She's the one that lost it. Let's
keep mum a minute, ma'am.

Hal. Oh dear, I'm dead and done for ! What shall 1 say to
mistress ? She told me to guard it ever so carefully, so
that her parents could be recognized more easily by
Selenium. She was palmed ofif as mistress's daughter
when she was only a little thing, given to her oy a
courtesan !

Lamp, {aside to Phanostrata) It's our affair she's babbling about,
ma'am. She must know where your daughter is, judging
from the indications she gives.

Bal, And now of her own accord she wants to return her to
the mother and father she belongs to. {impatiently) Now,
now, my dear man, you seem to have other business to
attend to, and here I am putting mine into your hands !

Lamp. It's yours 1 am attending to ; yes, and your story's meat
and drink to me. But during the course of that Dusiness
of yours, I answered a question of mistress's here. Now
I return to you again : if you want anything, name it ;
it's granted you.

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LMtnp. Imitatur nequam bestiam et damnificam.

Phan, Quamnam^ amabo ?

Lamp. Involvolum, quae in pampini folio intorta impli-

cat se.
itidem haec exorditur sibi intortam orationem. 730

quid quaeritas ?
HaL Cistellula hinc mi, adulescens, evolavit.

Lamp. In caveam latam oportuit.

Hal. Non edepol praeda magna.

Lamp. Minim quin grex venalium in cistella infuerit una.
Phan. Sine dicat.
Lamp. Si dicat quidem.

Phan. Age loquere ^ quid ibi infuerit.

HaL Crepundia una.

Lamp. Est quidam homo, qui illam ait se scire ubi sit.

. Hal. At pol ille a quadam muliere, si eam monstret,

gratiam ineat.
Lamp. At sibi ille quidam volt dari mercedem.
Hal. At pol ilia quaedam,

quae illam cistellam perdidit, quoidam negat esse

quod det.
Lamp. At enim ille quidam operam bonam magis expetit

quam argentum.
Hal. At pol illi quoidam mulieri nulla opera gratuita est. 740
Phan. Commodule quaedam. tu tibi nunc prodes. con-

fitemur
cistellam habere.
Hal. At vos Salus servassit. ubi ea nunc est ?

Phan. Salvam eccam. sed ego rem meam magnam con-

fabulari

^ Leo brackets following tu.
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THE CASKET COMEDY

It's a mischievous, pestiferous animal she's im-
itating.

Mercy me, what one ?

The caterpillar, that twists round and twines itself

up in young vine leaves, ma'am. That's the same

sort of twisting twaddle she's begun on. {to

Halisca) What are you looking for }
HaL A little casket flew out of my hands here, sir.
Lamp. You ought to have caged it.
HaL Goodness me, it was no great prize !
Lamp, {very sarcastic) Odd there wasn't a gang of slaves

in one casket.
Phan. Let her speak.
Lamp. Yes, if she only would.
Phan. Come, come, tell us what was in it.
Hal. Nothing but toys.
Lamp. There's a certain man who says he knows where

it is.
Hal. Well, goodness me, there's a certain woman who

would be grateful to him, if he'd show it to her.
Lamp. Well, that certain man wants a reward given him.
Hal. Well, goodness me, that certain woman who lost

the casket says she hasn't anything to give the

certain man.
Lamp. Well, you see, that certain man is keener for a

kind favour than for money.
Hal, Well, goodness me, in the case of that certain

woman, no favour is done gratis.
Phan. {dryly) Nice of the certain woman ! You are doing

yourself a good turn this time. We admit we have

the casket.
Hal. Well, Salvation save you both ! Where is it

now.'*
Phan. {showing it) Safe ! See ! But I want to have a

talk with you on a matter of great importance

177

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

tecum volo. sociam te mihi adopto ad meam
salutem.
HaL Quid istuc negoti est ? aut quis es ?
Phan . Ego sum illius mater,

quae haec gestitavit.
Hal. Hicine tu ergo habitas ?

Pkan. Hariolare.

sed quaeso, ambages, mulier, mitte atque hoc age.

eloquere, unde haec sunt tibi, cito, crepundia.
HaL Mea haec erilis gestitavit filia.

Lamp, Mentiris, nam mea gestitavit, non tua. 750

Phan, Ne obloquere.
Lamp, Taceo.

Phan. Mulier^ perge dicere.

ubi ea est, quae gestitavit ?
HaL Hie in proximo.

Phan. Istic quidem edepol mei viri habitat gener.^

ne obloquere rusus. perge porro dicere.

quot annos nata dicitur ?
HaL Septemdecim.

Phan. Mea est.

Lamp. East, ut ^ numerus annorum attulit.

HaL Quid ? * quaesti partem dimidiam quaero meam.
Lamp. At * pol ego, quoniam tres sunt, quaero tertiam.
Phan. Quod quaeritabam, filiam inveni meam.
HaL Aequom est reponi per (idem quod creditum est, 760

ne bene merenti sit malo benignitas.

nostra haec alumna est, tua profecto filia : ^

et redditura est tuam tibi, et ea gratia

^ Leo assumes lacuna following.
^ u{t numer)iL8 Camerarius.

* qtLa{esti partem dimid)iam Schoell.

* po{l egOf qiioniam tres) Schoell.

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THE CASKET COMEDY

to me. I make you my partner in securing my

salvation.
Hal. What do you mean by that } Who are you ?
Phan, The mother of the girl who had these things

{indicating toys) with her.
Hal. You live here, then } (pointing)
Phan. A good guess. But for mercy's sake, girl, do drop

your digressions and keep to the point. Quick,

tell me where you got those toys.
Hal, My mistress's daughter had them with her.
Lamp. You lie ! My mistress's daughter had them, not

yours.
Phan. (to Lampadio) Don't interrupt.
Lamp. Never a word, ma'am.
Phan. Go on, girl, go on. Where is the person that

had them ?
Hal. {pointing to Alcedmarchus s house) Next door here.
Phan. Good heavens ! Why, that's where my husband's

son-in-law lives, (to Lampadio, who is becoming

restive) Don't interrupt again, (to Halisca) Come,

go on, go on ! How old is she said to be ^
Hal. Seventeen.

Phan. (overjoyed) She is my daughter I
Lamp. So she is, to judge from her age.
Hal. Well? I'm looking for my half of the reward,

ma'am.
Lamp. But by gad, ma'am, there are three of us in this,

and I'm looking for my third !
Phan. And I've found what I've been looking for-r-my

daughter !
Hal. It's only fair that what was trusted to you in good

faith should be returned, ma'am, so as not to

make a benefactor suffer for her kindness. She's

our foster child, and your daughter sure enough.

* * * and mistress is just about to give her

179
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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

domo profecta est. ceterum ex ipsa, obsecro,

exquaeritote ; ego serva sum.
Phan. Aequom postulas.

Hal. Illius ego istanc esse malo gratiam.

sed istanc cistellam te opsecro ut reddas mihi.
Phan. Quid fit, Lampadio ?

Lamp. Quod tuom est teneas tuom.

Phan. At me huius miseret.
Lamp. Sic faciundum censeo :

da isti cistellam et intro abi cum istac semul. 770

Phan. Tibi auscultabo. tene tu cistellam tibi,

abeamus intro. sed quid est nomen tuae

dominae }
Hal. Melaenis.

Phan. I prae, iam ego te sequar.

ACTVS V

Dem. Quid hoc negoti est, quod omiies homines fabu-

lantur per vias

mihi esse filiam inventam? et Lampadionem me

in foro

quaesivisse aiunt.

Lamp. Ere, unde is ?

Dem. Ex senatu.

Lamp. Gaudeo

tibi mea opera liberorum esse amplius.
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THE CASKET COMEDY

back to you, and she set out from home for that

purpose. For heaven's sake, question hei- about

the rest ; I'm only a servant, myself.
Phan. That's a fair request.
Hal. I'd rather let her get the credit of it. But the

casket — do, please, give that back to me.
Phan. What shall I do, Lampadio ?
Lamp, Hold on to whatever is yours.
Phan. But I'm sorry for the girl.
Lamp, (after consideraiion) Here's what I recommend :

give her the casket and go inside along with her.
Phan. I'll follow your advice. Here, my girl, take the

casket, yourself, {hands it to her) Let's go in.

{hurries toward Alcesimarchus s door, then stops) But

what is your mistress's name ?
Hal. Melaenis.
Phan. {letting Halisca pass her) You go first ; I'll follow

you now. [exeunt.

ACT V

(An hour has elapsed)

ENTER Demipho

Dem. What does this mean — the whole town buzzing
with a IStory that my daughter has been found ?
They say that Lampadio has been looking for me
in the forum, too.

ENTER Lampadio from house of Alcesimarchus.

Lamp. Oh, sir, where are you coming from ?
Dem. From a meeting of the senate.
Lamp. I'm glad to report, sir, that your family has been
increased by my efforts.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Defn, Enim non placet.

nil moror aliena mi opera fieri pluris liberos.

sed quid istuc est ?
L<]tmp. Propera ire intro hue ad adfinem tuom,

filiam tuam iam cognosces intus. ibidem uxor
tua est. 780

abi cito.
Dem, Praevorti hoc certumst rebus aliis omnibus.

CATERVA

Ne exspectetis, spectatores, dum illi hue ad vos

exeant ;
nemo exibit, omnes intus confident negotium.
ubi id erit factum, omamenta ponent ; postidea loci
qui deliquit vapulabit, qui non deliquit bibet.
nunc quod ad vos, spectatores, relicuom relinquitur,
more maiorum date plausum postrema in comoedia.

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THE CASKET COMEDY

Dem, Well, I don*t like that ! I don't care to have other

people's efforts increase my family. But how about

all this?
Lamp, Hurry up and go into your new relative's house

here, sir, (pointing to the house of Alcesimarckiui) smd

you'll soon recognize a daughter of yours inside.

Your wife's in there, too. Quick, sir, in with you !

{bustles him toward door)
Dem. This matter shall take precedence of everything

else, that is sure. [exeunt.

EPILOGUE

(Spoken by Members of the Company)

Spectators, you need not wait for them to come
out here to you ; not one of them will. They will all
finish their business within. That done, off come
their costumes ; and then the actor that has made
mistakes will get a thrashing, the one that has
not, a drink. Now as to what is left, and left to
you, spectators, — follow the old fashion and
applaud our comedy at its conclusion.

18.S

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CURCULIO

yGoogk

ARGVMENTVM

Curculio missu Phaedromi it Cariam,
Vt petat argentum. ibi eludit anulo
Rivalem. scribit atque obsignat litteras.
Cognoscit signum Lyco, ubi vidit, militis ;
Vt amicam mittat, pretium lenoni dedit.
Lyconem miles ac lenonem in ius rapit.
Ipsus sororem, quam peribat, repperit,
Oratu cuius Phaedromo nuptum locat.

PERSONAE

PALINVRVS SERVVS

PHAEDROMVS ADVLESCENS

LEAENA ANVS

PLANESIVM VIRGO

CAPPADOX LENO

COCVS

CVRCVLIO PARASITVS

LYCO TRAPEZITA

CHORAOVS

THERAPONTIOONVS MILES

186

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ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY

Curculio^ at the behest of Phaedromus^ goes to
Caria to secure some money. There he steals
away a ring from Phaedromus's rival. He writes
a letter and seals it. Lyco, on seeing the seal,
recognizes it as being the Captain's ; he pays the
pimp to let Phaedromus's sweetheart go. The
Captain is for haling Lyco and the pimp off to
court. The girl this Captain has been doting on
proves to be his sister, and at her urgent request
he bestows her in marriage upon Phaedromus.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Palinurus, a slave of Phaedromus,
Phaedromus, a young gentleman of Epidaurus.
Leaena, an old woman, slave of Cappadox.
Planbsium, a girl belonging to Cappadox.
Cappadox, a pimp.

A COOK.

CuRCULio, a parasite.

Lyco, a banker.

The Company's Property Manager.

Therapontioonus, a Captain.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ACTVS I

PaL Quo ted hoc noctis dicam proficisci foras

cum istoc ornatu cumque hac pompa, Phaedrome ?

Phaed. Quo Venus Cupidoque imperat, suadet Amor ;
si media nox est sive est prima vespera,
si status condictus cum hoste intercedit dies^
tamen est eundum quo imperant ingratiis.

Pal. At tandem, tandem —

Phaed, Tandem es odiosus mihi.

Pal. Istuc quidem nee bellum est nee memorabile,
tute tibi puer es, lautus luces cereum.

Phaed. Egon apicularum congestum opera non feram, 10

ex dulci oriundum melculo dulci meo ?

PaL Nam quo te dicam ego ire ?

Phaed. Si tu me roges,

dicam ut scias.

Pal. Si rogitem, quid respondeas ?

Phaed. Hoc Aesculapi fanum est.

Pal. Plus iam anno scio.

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CURCULIO

Scene: — Epidaurus. A street in which are the
hottses of Cappadox and Pkaedromus, and a temple
of Aesculapius, god of healing. In front of the
home of Cappadox is an altar.

ACT I

(Time, night.)

ENTER Phaedromus, elaborately dressed^ carrying
A candle. Palinurus follows, and behind him
come slaves carrying torches, wine, and edibles.

Pal. (gloomy) Where on earth are you bound, sir, at
this time o' night, with such a get-up and with
this provision train here .'*

Phaed, {quite ecstatic) Where Venus and Cupid command,
where Love entices ! Be it midnight, or be it
early eve, be it a day duly settled upon with your
adversary for appearance at court — still must you
go whither they bid, despite yourself.

Pal. {protestingly) But see here, sir, see here

Phaed. See here, you annoy me.

Pal. Really, sir, this isn't a pretty sight, nor a sight to
talk about — ^you, sir, playing your own slave, and,
dapper as you are, lighting yourself along with
a candle !

Phaed. (languishingly) Shall I not carry the stores of the
busy little bees, stores born of sweets, to my sweet
little honey }

Pal. Why, where am I to say you're going ?

Phaed. If you asked me, I should inform you.

Pal. If I did ask you, what would your answer be ?

Phaed. Yonder is the shrine of Aesculapius.

Pal. I knew that more than a year ago.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Phaed. Huic proxumum illud ostiumst oculissiraum.

salve, valuistin?
Pal. Ostium occlusissimum,

caruitne febris te heri vel nudiustertius

et heri cenavistine ?
Phaed. Deridesne me ?

Pal. Quid tu ergo, insane, rogitas valeatne ostium ?
Phaed. Bellissimum hercle vidi et tacitumissimum, 20

numquam ullum verbum muttit. cum aperitur
tacet,

cum ilia noctu clanculum ad me exit, tacet.
Pal. Numquid tu quod te aut genere indignum sit tuo

facis aut inceptas facinus facere, Phaedrome ?

num tu pudicae cuipiam insidias locas

aut quam pudicam esse oportet ?
Phaed. Nemini,

nee me ille sirit luppiter.
Pal. Ego item volo.

ita tuom conferto amare semper, si sapis,

ne id quod ames populus si sciat, tibi sit probro.

semper curato ne sis intestabilis. 30

Phaed. Quid istuc est verbi ?
Pal, Caute ut incedas via. 32

quod amas amato testibus praesentibus. 31

Phaed. Quin leno hie habitat.
Pal. Nemo hinc prohibet nee vetat,

quin quod palam est venale, si argentum est, emas.

nemo ire quemquam publica prohibet via ;

dum ne per fundum saeptum facias semitam,

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CURCULIO

Phaed, Next to it {pointing to house of Cappadox) is the
most adorable door in all the world, (fondly) Ah,
door ! Hath all been well with thee ?

Pal, {mockingly) O door most shut in all the world !
Hast been without fever yesterday or the day
before ? Hast had thy dinner yesterday ?

Phaed, (wounded) Are you making fun of me ?

Pal. Well then, you madman, why are you asking about
the door's health ?

Phaed, Oh, 'tis the most delectable door, the discreetest
door I ever saw ! It never breathes a single word !
When it opens — silent ! When she steals out to
me at night — silent still !

Pal, (suspicious) I say, sir, you aren't doing anything
that doesn't become you or your family, are you ?
You aren't up to any crime, are you, Phaedromus ?
You're not laying snares for some respectable
woman, or one that ought to be respectable ?

Phaed, No, no ! Great God forbid I

Pal. My own wish, too ! If you're wise, sir, you'll
always so govern your affections as not to have
your love affairs disgrace you, in case people get
wind of them. Always look out you don't lose your
power to bear witness ^ as a man.

Phaed, What do you mean ?

Pal, Be careful — stick to the open road. Love your
love, but don't lose your witnesses !

Phaed, Why, it's a pimp that lives there.

Pal, In that case nobody stops or forbids you to buy
what's in the open market, if you've got the cash.
Nobody stops anyone from walking along the
public highway. Provided you don't make in-
roads on fenced-in preserves, provided you keep

^ Intestahilia in two senses — suffering a legal punishment
and a punishment inflicted by the injured husband.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

dum ted abstineas nupta^ vidua, virgiue,

iuventute et pueris liberis, atna quid lubet.
Phaed. Lenonis hae sunt aedes.
Pal. Male istis evenat.

Phaed. Qui?

Pal. Quia scelestam servitutem serviunt. 40

Phaed. Obloquere.
Pal. Fiat maxume.

Phaed. Etiam taces ?

Pal. Nempe obloqui me iusseras.
Phaed. At nunc veto.

sed ita uti occepi dicere, ei ancillula est.
Pal. Nempe huic lenoni qui hie habitat ?
Phaed. Reete tenes.

Pal. Minus formidabo, ne excidat.
Phaed. Odiosus es.

eam volt meretrieem facere. ea me deperit,

ego autem cum ilia facere nolo mutuom.
Pal. Quid ita?

Phaed. Quia proprium facio. amo pariter simul.

Pal. Malus clandestinus est amor, damnumst merum.
Phaed. Est hercle ita ut tu dicis.

Pal. lamne ea fert iugum ? 50

Phaed. Tarn a me pudica est quasi soror mea sit, nisi

si est osculando quippiam impudicior.
PaL Semper tu scito, flamma fumo est proxima ;

fumo comburi nil potest, flamma potest.

qui e nuce nuculeum esse volt, frangit nucem ;

qui volt cubare, pandit saltum saviis.

192

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CURCULIO

away from married women, widows, virgins, young

innocents, and children of respectable families,

love anyone you want.
Phaed, This is a pimp's house.
Pal. Bad luck to it !
Pkaed. Why?

PaL Because it's in such scurvy service.
Phaed. (indignant) That's it, interrupt me !
Pal. {pretending to misunderstand) So I will, by all

means.
Phaed. Hold your tongue, will you !
PaL (aggrieved) Why, but you told me to interrupt you.
Phaed. Well, now I tell you not to. But as I was about

to say, he has a young slave girl.
Pal. Tlie pimp that lives here, you mean }
Phaed. {irojiically) You grasp it perfectly.
Pal. (grinning) I'll have less fear of its being lost, then.
Phaed. You pest ! He wants to make a courtesan of

her. She loves me to distraction, but as for me,

I, don't choose to return her love.
Pal. How's that ?
Phaed. (rapturously) Because I want it for my very own !

I love her as much as she loves me.
Pal. (sagely) A secret love aflPair is bad, it's simply

ruin.
Phaed, (sighing) You're right, ah yes, you're right.
Pal. Has she learned to bear the yoke yet ?
Phaed. She's as innocent as if she were my own sister,

for me— runless she's any the worse for a few

kisses.
Pal. Always keep this in mind, sir, — first smoke, then

flames. Smoke tran't bum an3rthing, flames can.

The man that wants to cat the kernel, cracks the

shell; the man that wants to get the girl, clears

the way with kisses.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS
Pkaed, At ilia est pudica neque dum cubltat cum viris.
Pal. Credam, pudor si cuiquam lenoni siet.
Phaed. Immo ut illam censes ? ut quaeque illi occasiost,

subripere se ad me ; ubi savium oppegit, fugit. 60

id eo fit, quia hie leno^ hie qui aegrotus incubat

in Aesculapi fano, is me excruciat.
Pal Quid est?

Phaed. Alias me poscit pro ilia triginta minas,

alias talentum magnum ; neque quicquam queo

aequi bonique ab eo impetrare.
Pal. Iniuriu's,

qui quod lenoni nuUi est id ab eo petas.
Phaed. Nunc hinc parasitum in Cariam misi meum

petitum argentum a meo sodali mutuom.

quod si non afFert, quo me vortam nescio.
Pal. Si deos salutas^ dextrovorsum censeo. 70

Phaed. Nunc ara Veneris haec est ante horunc fores ;

me inferre Veneri vovi ieientaculum.
Pal. Quid ? tu te pones Veneri ieientaculo ?
Phaed. Me, te atque hosce omnis.

Pal. Tum tu Venerem vomere vis.

Phaed. Cedo, puere, sinum.

^ By sleeping in the temple in the hope of having
inspired dreams which would suggest means of relief.
This was incuhatio.
194

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CURCULIO

Phaed, But this girl is innocent ; she never has consorted

with men at all.
Pah ril believe that when I hear of an innocent pimp.
Phaed, (indignanlly) No, no ! what do you take her for }

Why, whenever she gets a chance she steals out

to me ; but once she has pressed her lips to mine,

away she runs! That's all because the pimp,

who's ill and taking the cure in the shrine of

Aesculapius here,^ is torturing me.
Pal, How so }
Phaed, (petulant) Now he demands a hundred pounds for

her, now two hundred — not a bit of just and

decent treatment can I get from him.
Pal, You're in the wrong, to ask a pimp for what no

pimp deals in.
Phaed, Now I've sent my parasite off to Caria to ask a

good friend of mine for a loan. If he doesn't get

it, I don't know where to turn.
Pal, {jlippantly) To the right,^ I should say, if you

mean to salute the gods.
Phaed, {turning to the altar before Cappadoxs door) You

see this altar of Venus in front of their house ; it

was to Venus I vowed I should offer a breakfast

myself.
Pal, Eh } You're going to give Venus yourself for

breakfast ?
Phaed, (vehemently) Yes, myself, you, and all these people.

(rvith a wave toward the audience)
Pal. In that case, you want Venus to be sick at the

stomach !
Phaed, (to a slave) Here, my lad, the bowl I (turning

toward Cappadoxs door)

* To the left was the statue of Apollo Aguieus, to the
right that of Venus : " Make your prayer to Venus, not
to Apollo."

195
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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

PaL Quid facturu's ?

Phaed. lam scies.

anus hie solet cubitare custos ianitrix,

nomen Leaenae est, multibiba atque merobiba.
Pal. Quasi tu lagoenam dicas, ubi vinum Chium

solet esse.
Phaed, Quid opust verbis ? vinosissima est ;

eaque extemplo ubi ego vino has conspersi fores, 80

de odore adesse me seit, aperit ilico.
PaL Eine hie cum vino sinus fertur ?
Phaed. ' Nisi nevis.

Pal. Nolo hercle, nam istunc qui fert afflictum velim ;

ego nobis afferri eensui.
Phaed. Quin tu taces ?

si quid super illi fuerit, id nobis sat est.
Pal. Quisnam istic fluviust, quem non reeipiat mare ?
Phaed. Sequere hae, Palinure, me ad fores, fi mi obsequens.
PaL Ita faeiam.
Phaed. Agite bibite, festivae fores ;

potate, fite mihi volentes propitiae.
PaL Voltisne olivas ' pulpamentum ^ capparim ? 90

Phaed. Exsuseitate vostram hue eustodem mihi.
PaL Profundis vinum ; quae te res agitant ?
Phaed. Sine.

viden ut aperiuntur aedes festivissumae ?

num muttit cardo ? est lepidus.

^ ^ Leo brackets following aut.

yGoogk

CURCULIO

PcU. What are you up to ?

Phaed, You will soon see. There's an old hag usually

stretched out inside here minding the door, a

weariless, waterless sot, by name Leaena.
PaL You mean a sort of Tankilena, don't you, — the

kind they store Chian wine in ?
Phaed. Why hunt for a word ? She's a perfect wine-
soak ! The minute I sprinkle this door with

wine, the odour tells her I am here, and she

opens up instantly.
PaL (rueful) And this bowl of wine is brought for her ?
Phaed, (ironically) Unless you object.
Pal. By gad, I do object ! Yes, sir, I only wish that

fellow carrying it would break his neck ! I sup-
posed it was brought for us.
Phaed, Oh, keep still, man ! If she leaves any, that will

be enough for us.
PaL Leave any.** Show me the river that the sea

won't hold !
Phaed. {taking the bowl) This way, Palinurus, — up to the

door — come, oblige me.
PaL (following sulkily) All right, all right.
Phaed. {he pours wine on the sill) Drink, ye portals of

pleasure, drink ! Quaff deep, and deign to be

propitious unto me!
Pal. {mimicking his master) Will ye have some olives,

portals, — ^a croquette — ^a pickled caper }
Phaed. Rouse your keeper and send her hither, {lavishes

more wine)
Pal. {seizing his arm in dismay) You're wasting the wine !

What possesses you ?
Phaed. Unhand me ! {as the door moves) See you how

it opens — ^the bower of bliss beyond compare ?

Hear you a creak from the hinge ? Oh, lovely

hinge !

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pal. Quin das savium ?

Pkaed, Tace, occultemus lumen et vocem.
Pal, Licet.

I. 2.

Le. Flos veteris viiii meis

naribus obiectust,
eius amor cupidam me hue

prolicit per tenebras.
ubi ubi est, prope me est. euax, habeo.
salve, anime mi,

Liberi lepos.
ut veteris vetus tui cupida sum. 100

nam omnium unguentum odor prae tuo nautea
est,
tu mihi stacta, tu cinnamum, tu rosa,
tu crocinum et casia es,

tu telinum,
nam ubi tu profusu's, ibi ego me

pervelim sepultam.
sed quom adhuc naso odos obsecutust meo,
da vicissim meo gutturi gaudium.
nil ago tecum ; ubi est ipsus ? ipsum expeto
tangere, invergere in me liquores tuos,
sine, ductim. sed hac abiit, hac persequar.
Pkaed, Sitit haec anus.
Pal. Quantillum sitit ?

Pkaed, Modica est, capit quadrantal. 110

Pal, Pol ut praedicas, vindemia ^ huic anui non sat est
soli,
canem esse banc quidem magis par fuit; sagax
nasum habet.
Le, Amabo,

cuia vox sonat procul ^

^ Leo brackets following haec.
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CURCULIO

Pal, (meeringly) Why don't you kiss it ?

Phaed, Sh-h ! Let's hide the light and hold our tongues.

Pal. {bored) Very well, {they stand hack)

Scene 2.

Leaena i:rawls into the doorway.

the

(peering abouty mumbling and sniffing) Ah,
sweet, sweet whifF of old wine that met my
nostrils! It drew me out here in the dark, I
love it so, I want it so ! Wherever it is, it's near
me ! (her nose close to the sill) Oh joy ! I have it !
Ah there, sweetheart mine, beauty of Bacchus !
You're old and I'm old, and how I want you !
Why, the odour of all the essences is only bilge
water compared with yours ! You're my myrrh,
my cinnamon, my rose, my oil of saffiron and cassia,
my rarest perfume — ^you, you ! Oh, to have my
grave where you are poured ! (anxiously) But it's
only my nose that's been favoured so far by the
scent— -do gratify my gullet, too. (sniffing at the
wine on the door sill discontentedly) No, my business
is not with you. Where is the bowl itself? Oh, to
touch you, bowl, to turn your liquor into me and
swallow, swallow, swallow ! (noses her way slowly
toward Phaedromus) But it has run this way. I'll
follow it up this way !

Phaed, (aside to Palinurus) The old lady here is thirsty.

Pid. (troubled) Not very, do you think ?

Phaed, Oh, nothing intemperate — six gallons will fill her.
Good Lord, according to you, a whole vintage
isn't enough for this one old hag alone ! (eyeing
her irately) It's a dog she ought to be by rights ;
she has a keen scent, an3rway.
(turning and stopping) Bless your heart ! whose
voice is that in the distance ?

Pal,

Le,

199

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Phaed. Censeo hanc

appellandam anum.

adibo. redi et respice ad ine, Leaen .
Le. Imperator quis est ?

Phaed. VinipoUens lepidus Liber,

tibi qui screanti, siccae, semisomnae

adfert potionem et sitim iam sedatum it.
Le. Quam longe a me abest ?

Phaed. Lumen hoc vide.

Le. Grandiorem gradum ergo fac ad me, obsecro. 1 20

Phaed. Salve.

!/€. Egon salva sim, quae siti sicca sum ?

Phaed. At iam bibes.

Le. Diu fit.

Phaed. Em tibi anus lepida.

Le. Salve, oculissime homo.

Pal. Age, effunde hoc citb in barathrum, propere

prolue cloacam.
Phaed. Tace. Nolo huic male dici.

Pal. Faciam igitur male potius.

Le. Venus, de paulo paululum hoc tibi dabo baud

lubenter.

nam tibi amantes propitiantes vinum potantes
danunt

omnes, mihi baud saepe evenunt tales here-
ditates.
Pal. Hoc vide ut ingurgitat impura in se merum ava-

riter, faucibus plenis.
Phaed. Perii hercle, huic quid primum dicam nescio.
Pal. Em istuc, quod mihi dixti.

Phaed. Quid id est ?

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CURCULIO

Phaed, {to Palinurus) I think I'd better hail her. Here

goes, (stepping fonvard) Back Leaena ! About

face !
Le, (blinking) Who's in command ?
Phaed. Lovely Bacchus, lord of liquor, who brings thy

hawking, husky, half-dormant self some drink and

will now proceed to allay thy thirst.

(peering about eagerly) How far away is he ?

(waving his candle) Behold this light !

Come to me quick, then, double quick, for heaven's

sake !

(approaching) Good day to you.

Good ? To me } When I'm all dried up for lack

of a drink ?

Well, you shall soon have one.

It's a long time coming.

(handing her the bowl) There you are, sweet dame.

Bless you, you adorable man !

(to Leaena, enviously) Come on, quick ! Pour it

into the pit ! Hurry up and flush the sewer !

Silence ! No rough talk to her.

(glaring at her) Rough treatment, then ; that's

better still !

(turning to the altar) Venus, of the little I have I'll

give you a very, very little, (cautiously pouring out

a few drops as a libation) and I hate to do it, too.

Why, you get wine from all the lovers when they're

drinking and want your favour ; as for me, it's not

often I get such legacies, (drinks)

Look at that ! Swilling it down neat, the nasty

pig, maw wide open !

(ajier reflection) Well, I'm damned ! I don't know

what to tell her first.

(sourly) That's what! tell her what you just told me.

What is that ?

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pal. Periisse ut te dicas.

Phaed. Male tibi di faciant.

Pal Dicisti. 130

Le. Ah.

Pal, Quid est ? ecquid lubet ?

Le, Lubet.

PaL Etiam mihi quoque

stimulo fodere lubet te.
Phaed, Tace, ne —
PaL Noli, taceo. ecce autem bibit arcus, pluet

credo hercle hodie.
Phaed, lamne ego huic dico ?
Pal, Quid dices ?

Phaed, Me periisse.

Pal, Age dice.

Phaed, Anus, audi.

hoc volo scire te : perditus sum miser.
Le, At pol ego oppido servata.

sed quid est } quid lubet perditum dicere
te esse ?
Phaed, Quia id quod amo careo.

Le, Phaedrome mi, ne plora amabo.

tu me curato ne sitiam, ego tibi quod amas iam
hue adducam.
Phaed, Tibine ego, si fidem servas mecum, vineam pro

aurea statua statuam, 140

quae tuo gutturi sit monumentum. 140a

qui me in terra aeque fortunatus erit, si ilia ad me

bitet,
Palinure ?
Pal, Edepol qui amat, si eget, misera adficitur,

ere, aerumna.

202

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CURCULIO

Tell her you are damned.

Heaven curse you !

Tell her!

{blissfully, stopping to take breath) Ah-h !

Well ? You like it, eh ?

(smacking her lips) Like it ! {drinks again)

Yes, and wouldn't I like to take a goad and jab it

into you !

Phaed, {dangerously) Keep still, or

Pal, i hastily) Don't, sir ! I will ! But just look there !

(pointing to Leaena bent backward draining the bowl)

The rainbow ^ drinks ! By Jove, I believe it'll

rain to-day !
Phaed. Shall I tell her now ?
Pal. Tell her what ?
Phaed, That I'm damned.
Pal. Go on, tell her.
Phaed. Old lady, listen. I want you to know this — Fm

a poor damned wretch.
Le. {finishing the bowl and straightening up) But as for

me, I've found complete salvation ! Why do you

want to say you're danmed ?
Phaed, Because I'm kept from the girl I love, {sobs)
Le. Now, now, Phaedromus dearie, don't cry. Just

you see I don't get thirsty, and I'll have the girl

you love out here in a jiffy.
Phaed. {fervently) You keep your word, and I'll put you

up a statue of vines instead of gold [exit Leaena

INTO house] to commemorate your gullet. Oh,

Palinurus, won't I be the luckiest man on earth,

if she trips out here to me ^
Pal. Gad, sir, a man in love and out of cash is in a

sorry plight.

^ The rainbow was said to drink when it seemed to
touch the earth.

203

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pkaed. Non ita res est, nam confido parasitum hodie ad-
venturum
cum argento ad me.
Pal. Magnum inceptas^ si id expectas

quod nusquamst.
Pkaed, Quid si adeam ad fores atque occentem ?
Pal, Si lubet, neque veto neque iubeo,

quando ego te video immutatis moribus esse^ ere,
atque ingenio.
Pkaed. Pessuli, heus pessuli, vos saluto lubens,

vos amo, vos volo, vos peto atque obsecro,
gerite amanti mihi morem, amoenissumi,
fite causa mea ludii barbari, 1 50

sussilite, obsecro, et mittite istanc foras,
quae mihi misero amanti ebibit sanguinem.
hoc vide ut dormiunt pessuli pessumi
nee mea gratia commovent se ocius.
re spicio, nihili meam vos gratiam facere.
st tace, tace.
Pal. Taceo hercle equidem.

Pkaed, Sentio sonitum.

tandem edepol mihi morigeri pessuli fiunt.

I. 3.

Le, Placide egredere et sonitum prohibe forium et
crepitum cardinum,
ne quod hie agimus erus percipiat fieri, mea Plane-

sium.
mane, sufFundam aquolam.
Pal, Viden ut anus tremula medicinam facit? l6()

204

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CURCULIO

Phaed. That's not my case, for Vm sure the parasite will

arrive to-day with money for me.
Pal, You have your hands full, if you wait for what

never happens.^
Phaed, What if I should go up to the door and serenade

her?
Pal, Suit yourself, sir ; I wont say no, or yes, either,
since I see your character and disposition are so
changed.
Phaed. (singing) Bolts, ah, bolts, I greet you gladly :
Take my love and hear my plea.
Hear my prayer, my supplication.

Fairest bolts, ah, favour me.
Change to foreign dancers for me.

Spring, I pray you, spring on high.
Send a wretched man his dear love.
Love that drains his life-blood dry.

Look ! they sleep, those bolts most base
Will not budge to do me grace !
(angtil^) You care nothing about doing me grace,
that's plain, (listening) Sh-h ! Hush, hush !
Pal, (wearily) Lord, Lord ! Well, I am hushing.
Phaed. I hear a sound ! Oh heavens ! At last those bolts
are favouring" me. (they step hack)

3. THE DOOR OPENS A LITTLE.

(within) Step out quietly, Planesium dearie, and
don't let the door rattle or the hinges grate, or
master will find out what we're doing here. Wait.
I'll pour a little water on them, (she does so)
(aside to Phaedromus) See how the doddering old
thing plays the doctor ? She has jolly well learned

^ A parasite with money.

205

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

eapse merum condidicit bibere, foribus dat aquam

quam bibant.
Plan, Vbi tu es, qui me convadatu*s Veneriis vadimoniis ?
sisto ego tibi me et mihi contra itidem tu te ut

sistas suadeo.
Phaed, Assum ; nam si absim^ baud reeusem quin mihi

male sit, mel meum.
Plan, Anime mi, me proeul amantem abesse baud con-

sentaneumst.
Phaed. Palinure, Palinure.

Pal, Eloquere, quid est quod Palinurum voces ?

Phaed. Est lepida.
Pal. Nimis lepida.

Phaed. Sum deus.

Pal. Immo homo baud magni preti.

Phaed. Quid vidisti aut quid videbis magis dis aequi-

parabile ?
Pal. Male valere te, quod mi aegrest.
Phaed. Male mi morigeru*s, tace.

Pal. Ipsus se excruciat qui homo quod amat videt nee

potitur dum licet. 1 70

Phaed. Recte obiurgat. sane baud quicqiiamst, magis

quod cupiam iam diu.
Plan, Tene me, amplectere ergo.
Phaed. Hoc etiam est quam ob rem cupiam vivere.

quia te prohibet erus, clam ^ potior.
Plan. Prohibet ? nee prohibere quit,

nee prohibebit nisi mors meum animum aps te

abalienaverit.

^ Leo brackets following ero.
206

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CURCULIO

to drink the undiluted wine herself, and gives the

door the water to drink.

ENTER Planesium into doorway.
Plan, {sofily, looking about) Where are you, you who

have cited me to the court of Venus ? I produce *

myself in answer to the summons, and beg you

likewise to produce yourself.
Pkaed, (^fondly) Here ! Ah, honey mine, if I defaulted, I

should not protest against its going hard with me.
Plan, (coyly) Darling, it's not nice to have one's sweet-
heart keep his distance.
Phaed. {enraptured) Oh, Palinurus, Palinurus !
Pal. Speak out. What are you calling Palinurus for ?
Phaed. She's delicious !
Pal, (sour) Too delicious.
Phaed. Oh, I'm a god !

Pal. You aren't, you're a man, of precious poor quality.
Phaed. What did you ever see, what will you ever see,

more comparable to the gods than I am ?
Pal. You're in a bad way, I see that, and I'm sorry

for it.
Phaed. (angry) And you fall in with my humour badly !

Silence !
Pal. (cofved, changing his tone) A chap that sees his

sweetheart, sir, and doesn't use his chance, is a

self-tormentor.
Phaed. (to Planesium) A just rebuke ! There's surely

nothing I've been craving for more this long time.
Plan. Well then, take me, hug me !
Phaed. (doing so, heartily) This, this, is what makes me

crave to live. Now that your master keeps you

from me, I have you secretly.
Plan. Keep me from you? He can not, he shall not

keep me from you, unless death deprives you of

my heart.

207

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pal. Enim vero nequeo durare quin ego erum accusem
meum.
nam bonum est pauxillum amare sane, insane non

bonum est ;
verum totum insanum amare, hoc est quod mens
erus facit.
Phaed. Sibi sua habeant regna reges, sibi divitias divites,
sibi honores, sibi virtutes, sibi pugnas, sibi proelia ;
dum mi abstineant invidere, sibi quisque habeant
quod suom est. 1 80

Pal. Quid tu ? Venerin pervigilare te vovisti, Phaedrome ?
nam hoc quidem edepol baud multo post luce
lucebit.
Phaed. Tace.

Pal. Quid, taceam ? quin tu is dormitum ?
Phaed. Dormio, ne occlamites.

Pal. Tu quidem vigilas.

Phaed. At meo more dormio ; hie somnust mihi.

Pal. Heus tu, mulier, male mereri de inmerente in-

scitia est.
Plan. Irascere, si te edentem hie a cibo abigat.
Pal. Ilicet,

pariter hos perire amando video, uterque insaniunt.
viden ut misere moliuntur.'* nequeunt complecti

satis,
etiam dispertimini }
Plan. Nullum homini est perpetuom bonum ;

iam huic voluptati hoc adiunctum est odium.
Pal. Quid ais, propudium ,> 19O

tun etiam cum noctuinis oculis odium me vocas ?
ebriola, persollae nugae.

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CURCULIO

Pal, (aside) My word ! I can't help calling master a

fool. Why, a little love of a sane sort is all right,

not the insane sort, though. But to go absolutely

insane in a love affair — that's what my master is

doing !
Phaed. Let kings keep their kingdoms, rich men their

riches ; let them keep their honours, their feats

of arms, their fights, their battles ! Provided they

cast no envious eye on me, let every man keep

what is his.
Pal, See here, sir! Did you vow to keep vigil all

night in honour of Venus ? Why, good Lord, day

will be dawning before long now !
PJiaed, Hush, hush !

Pal, Hush, eh ? Why don't you go to sleep }
Phaed, {still embracing Planesiunt) I am asleep. Stop

bawling.
Pal, You asleep? You're wide awake.
Phaed. No, I am asleep in a fashion of my own. This is

slumber for me. (clasps Planesium more closely)
Pal, (to Planesium) I say, young lady, it's silly to harm

a man that hasn't harmed you.
Plan, (nestling closer) You would be angry if your master

here drove you away from your food while you

were eating.
Pal, (in helpless disgust) It's no use. I see they're both

alike, dying of love, both insane. D'ye see how

they're working, poor things.'* They can't hug

hard enough ! Come, break away, will you ?
Plan, (sighing) No human blessing lasts for ever ; here

this pleasure of ours has had this pest {pointing to

Palinurus) stuck on to it !
Pal. (indignant) What's that, you slut } You call me a

pest — ^you, with your owl ^yes ? You tipsy thing !

You worthless little fright !

2G9

VOL. II. P

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Phaed.

Pal
Phaed,
Plan,
Pal

Phaed.

Pal
Plan.

Phaed.

Plan.
Phaed.

Plan.

Tun meam Venerem vituperas ?
iquod quidem mihi polluctus virgis servos ser-

monem serat ?
at ne tu hercle cum cruciatu magno dixisti id tuo.
em tibi male dictis pro istis, dictis moderari ut queas.
Tuam fidem, Venus noctuvigila.

Pergin etiam, verbero ?
Noli, amabo, verberare lapidem, ne perdas manum.
Flagitium probrumque magnum, Phaedrome, ex-

pergefacis :
bene monstrantem pugnis caedis, banc amas, nugas

meras.
hocine fieri, ut inmodestis hie te moderes moribus ? 200
Auro contra cedo modestum amatorem, a me

aurum accipe.
Cedo mihi contra aurichalco cui ego sano serviam.
Bene vale, ocule mi, nam sonitum et crepitum

claustrorum audio,
aeditumum aperire fanum.^ quo usque, quaeso,

ad hunc modum
inter nos amore utemur ? semper surrepticio ?
Minime, nam parasitum misi nudiusquartus Cariam
petere argentum, is hodie hie aderit.

Nimium consultas diu.
Ita me Venus amet, ut ego te hoc triduom num-

quam sinam
in domo esse istac, quin ego te liberalem liberem.
Facito ut memineris. tene etiam, prius quam hinc
abeo, savium. 210

^ Corrupt (Leo) : {quid ? istum) mihi Goetz.
2 Leo notes lacuna here : {iam) op. fanum Seyffert,
210

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CURCULIO

Phaed. You to revile my Venus, you ? (to Planesium) The
idea of his putting in his oar, the whip-fodder of
a slave I (to Palinurus) Now by the Lord, if I
don't make you writhe for that language ! (cuffing
Mm) There ! Take that for your abuse and see
if you can control your tongue !

Pal, (getting behind Planesium) Help, help, Venus of
the owl . . . er . . . all-night vigils !

Phaed, (advancing upon him) Eh ? Still at it, you scoundrel ?

Plan, (holding his arm) Now, now, dear, don't strike a
stone, or you'll bruise your hand !

Pal. It's scandalous, sir, it's perfectly outrageous the
way you're acting — to punch a man that gives
you good advice, and make love to mere trash
like her. Is this proper — to lose control of your-
self in this incontinent fashion ?

Phaed, Bring me a lover that does control himself, and
I'll give you his weight in gold.

Pal, Bring me a master that has some sense, and I'll
pay you his weight in brass.

Plan, (listening, then going toward door) Good-bye, good-
bye, precious ! I hear a sound and the grating of
bolts ; the sacristan is opening the temple. Oh
tell me, how long shall we go on in this way?
Will it always be stolen love ?

Phaed, Not a bit of it, for I sent a parasite to Caria three
days ago to get some money. He'll be back
to-day.

Plan. You deliberate too long.

Phaed. So help me Venus, I will never let you stay in
that house three days more ; before that, I'll give
you the freedom that befits you !

Plan, See you remember, (throwing herself in his arms)
One more sweet kiss before I go ! (thei^ kiss,
lingeringly)

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Phaed, Siquidem hercle mihi regnum detur, numquam id
potius persequar.

quando ego te videbo ?
Plcm. Em istoc verbo vindictam para.

si amas^ erne, ne rogites, facito ut pretio pervincas
tuo.

bene vale.
Phaed, lamne ego relinquor } pulere, Palinure, occidi.

Pal, Ego quidem^ qui et vapulando et somno pereo.
Phaed, Sequere me.

ACTVS II

Ca, Migrare certumst iam nunc e fano foras,

quando Aesculapi ita sentio sententiam^

ut qui me nihili faciat nee salvom velit.

valetudo decrescit, adcrescit labor ;

nam iam quasi zona liene cinetus ambulo^ 220

geminos in ventre habere videor filios.

nil metuo nisi i^e medius disrumpar miser.
Pal, Si recte facias, Phaedrome, auscultes mihi

atque istam exturbes ex animo aegritudinem.

paves, parasitus quia non rediit Caria.

adferre argentum credo ; nam si non ferat,

tormento non retineri potuit ferreo,

quin reciperet se hue esum ad praesepem suam.
212

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CURCULIO

Pkaed, Oh Heaven ! If I were offered a kingdom^ never
would I prefer to take it ! When shall I see you ?

Plan, Ah ! As for that, get me freed. If you love
me, buy me. No prayers — pay, pay your way to
victory ! Good-bye, and God bless you !

[exit into house.

Phaed, {tra^cally) So soon am I left alone } But 'twas a
glorious death for me !

Pal, Yes, and for me, dying as I am of pummelling and
loss of sleep !

Phaed, {turning to go) Come along. [exeunt.

ACT H

(Several hours have elapsed.)
ENTER Cappadox from temple.

Ca. (rubbing his monumental stomach and groaning) Yes,

1 am resolved to quit the temple this . . . moment,
siAce I see for sure that Aesculapius cares . . .
nothing for me, has no wish to cure me. My
strength is . . . decreasing and my pain is . . . in-
creasing. Why, already my spleen is wound around
me like a . . . girdle as I walk along — anyone
would think I was . . . carrying twins. Oh dear !
All I am afraid of is that I . . . shall blow up in
the middle.

ENTER Palinurus from house of Phaedromus,

Pal, (to Phaedromus within) You'd do well to listen to
me, sir, and shake off that doleful spirit of yours.
You're panic-struck just because the parasite
hasn't got back from Caria ! (cheerily) He's
bringing the money, I reckon. For otherwise he
couldn't be kept by fetters of iron from hjdng
himself back here to eat at his own manger.

213

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ca. Quis hie est qui loquitur ?

Pal. Quoiam vocem ego audio ?

Ca. Estne hie Palinurus Phaedromi ?

Pal. Quis hie est homo 230

cum coUativo ventre atque oculis herbeis ?

de forma novi, de colore non queo

novisse. iam iam novi : leno est Cappadox.

congrediar.
Ca. Salve, Palinure.

Pal. O scelerum caput,

salveto. quid agis ?
Ca. Vivo.

Pal. Nempe ut dignus es.

sed quid tibi est ?
Ca, Lien enecat, renes dolent,

pulmones distrahuntur, cruciatur iecur,

radices cordis pereunt, hirae omnes dolent.
Pal. Turn te igitur morbus agitat hepatiarius.
Ca. Facile est miserum inridere.
Pal. Quin tu aliquot dies 240

perdura, dum intestina exputeseunt tibi,

nunc dum salsura sat bonast. si id feceris,

venire poteris intestinis vilius.
Ca. Lien dierectust.

Pal. Ambula, id lieni optumumst.

Ca. Aufer istaec, quaeso, atque hoc responde quod rogo,

potin coniecturam facere, si narrem tibi

hac nocte quod ego somniavi dormiens ?

214

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CURCULIO

Ca. (wearily) Who is that . . . talking here ?

Pal, (aside) Whose voice is that ?

Ca. Palinurus, is it, Phaedromus's man ?

Pal. (aside) Who's that fellow with the comprehensive

belly and the grass-green eyes ? His figure looks

familiar, but I don't recognize that colour scheme.

(looking more sharply) Now ! Now I recognize

him ! It's the pimp, Cappadox, I'll up to him.

(approaches)
Ca, Good day, Palinurus.
PaL Ah there, you fount of iniquity ! Good day to

you. How are you ?
Ca, (with a tremendous groan) Living.
Pid, (callously) As you deserve, no doubt. What ails

you, though ?
Ca. My spleen is . . . killing me, my kidneys

ache, my lungs are . . . torn to tatters, my

liver ... is in agony, my heart-strings are . . .

clean gone, and all my . . . small intestines pain

me.
Pal. (with professional air) Ah, then you must be

suffering from some hepatic affection.
Ca. It is easy to laugh at ... a poor wretch.
PaL (interestedly) I say, hold out for a few days longer

while your intestines go rotten, now while the

pickling is good enough. You do this, and you

can sell your intestines for more than your whole

carcass.
Ca. My spleen is . . . racked.
Pal. (lightly) Take walks — best thing in the world for

the spleen.
Ca. (woefully) For mercy's sake, drop your joking and

do answer me this. Supposing I told you a . . .

dream I had when I was asleep last night, could

you interpret it ?

215

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pal. Vah, solus hie homost qui sciat divinitus.
quin coniectores a me consilium petunt ;
quod eis respond!, ea omnes stant sententia. 250

II. 2.

Coc, Palinure, quid stas ? quin depromuntur mihi

quae opus sunt, parasito ut sit paratum prandium,

quom veniat ?
PaL Mane sis, dum huic conieio somnium.

Coc, Tute ipse, si quid somniasti, ad me refers.
Pal. Fateor.
Coc. Abi, deprome.

Pal. Age tu interea huic somnium

narra, meliorem quam ego sum suppono tibi.

nam quod scio omne ex hoc scio.
Ca. Operam ut det.

Pal. Dabit.

Ca. Facit hie quod pauci, ut sit magistro obsequens.

da mi igitur operam.
Coc. Tam etsi non novi, dabo.

Ca. Hac nocte in somnis visus sum viderier 260

procul sedere longe a me Aesculapium,

neque cum ad me adire ueque ^le magni pendere

visumst.
Coc. Item alios deos facturos scilicet ;

sane illi inter se congruont concorditer.

nihil est mirandum, melius si nil fit tibi,

namque incubare satius te fuerat lovi,

qui tibi auxilio in iure iurando fuit.

216

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CURCULIO

Pal, (slapping his chest) Hah ! Why, here's your one
and only expert at divination. Man alive, pro-
fessional clairvoyants come to me for advice, and
the answers I give 'em they all abide by.

Scene 2. enter cook from house of Phaedromus,

Cook {irate) Palinurus ! What are you standing still
for ? Why don't you fetch the things I need, so
that lunch will be prepared for the parasite when
he appears ?

Pal. (grandly) You just kindly wait till I interpret a
dream for this chap.

Cook You ! Why, you yourself refer all your dreams to me.

Pal, (abashed, then cheerfully) Admitted.

Cook Be off; fetch the stuff.

Pal, (to Cappadox) Here, you ! Meanwhile you tell
your dream to this fellow. (indicating cook) I
leave you to my substitute — a better man than I
am. Why, all I know I owe to him.

Ca. If he would only . . . help me !

PaU He will. [exit.

Ca, (looking after Palinunis with a grunt) He does what
few do, in letting his teacher have his way. (to
cook) Well, then, you help me.

Cook 1 don't know you, but help you I will.

Ca. Last night in my sleep I seemed to see Aes-
culapius sitting a . . . long way off from me, and
he seemed not (choking) to come near me or to
think much of me.

Cook (gravely) That means the other gods will do the
same; they pull together perfectly, you know.
No wonder you get no better ; why, the thing for
you to do was to lie in the temple of Jove, the
god that's been your backer in those solemn paths
of yours.

217

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ca. Siquidem incubate velint qui periuraverint,

locus non praeberi potis est in Capitolio.
Coc. Hoc animum advorte : pacem ab Aesculapio 270

petas, ne forte tibi evenat magnum malum^

quod in quiete tibi portentumst.
Ca. Bene facis.

ibo atque orabo.
Coc, Quae res male vortat tibi.

Pal, Pro di immortales^ quern conspicio ? quis illic est ?

estne hie parasitus qui missust in Qtriam ?

heus Phaedrome^ exi^ exi, exi^ inquam^ ocius.
Phaed, Quid istic clamorem tollis ?
Pal, Parasitum tuom

video currentem ellum usque in platea ultima.

hinc auscultemus quid agat.
Phaed, Sane censeo.

II. 3.

Cure, Date viam mihi^ noti^ ignoti> dum ego hie oflficium

meum 280

facio. fugite omnes, abite et de via deeedite,
ne quem in cursu capite aut cubito aut pectore

offendam aut genu,
ita nunc subito^ propere et celere obiectumst mihi

negotium^
nee homo quisquamst tarn opulentus^ qui mi ob-

sistat in via^
nee strategus nee tyrannus quisquam^ nec agora*

nomus^

* Leo brackets following atqtu^
218

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CURCULIO

Cfl. But if all the . . . perjurers wanted to lie there,
they could not find accommodations in the Capitol.

Cook Mark my words now — go sue Aesculapius for
grace, or you may chance to meet with the dread-
ful disaster your dream portended.

Ca, {alarmed) Thanks ! Thanks ! Til go in and pray.
[exit, in awkward hastu, into temple.

Cook And bad luck may it bring you !

[exit into house.
ENTER Palinurus from house.

Pal, (looking down street) Ye immortal gods ! Who's
that I spy ? Who is it ? The parasite that was
sent to Caria? {calling at door) Hi-i, Phae-
dromus ! Come out, come out, come out, I tell
you I Quick.

ENTER Phaedromns,

Pkaed. Why are you raising all that hullabaloo ?

Pal. There's your parasite running up! {pointing)
See ! away down at the end of the street !
(pulling Phaedromus into the doorway) Let's stay
here and listen to what he's about.

Pkaed, Yes, yes ! Good !

Scene 3. enter Curculio, a patch over one eye, in

BURLESQUE HASTE.

Cure, {to ifnaginartf passers-by) Make way for me, friends,
strangers, while I <io my duty here! Scatter,
clear out, get off the street, everybody, so that I
may not career into anyone and lay him out with
my head, or elbow, or chest, or knee ! I tell you
what, it's a sudden, pressing, urgent job I'm
charged with now, and there's no man rich enough
to block my path — neither general, nor despot,
any of 'em, nor market inspector, nor mayor, nor

219

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

nee demarchus nee eomarchus,nec eum tanta gloria,
quin eadat, quin eapite sistat in via de semita.
turn isti Graeei palliati, eapite operto qui ambulant,
qui incedunt sufFarcinati eum libris, eum sportulis,
eonstant> eonferunt sermones inter sese drapetae, 290
obstant, obsistunt, ineedunt cum suis sententiis,
quos semper videas bibentes esse in thermipolio,
ubi quid subripuere — operto capitulo ealidum bi-

bunt,
tristes atque ebrioli ineedunt — eos ego si ofFendero,
ex unoquoque eorum exeiam erepitum polentarium.
tum isti qui ludunt datatim servi seurrarum in via,
et datores et faetores omnis subdam sub solum,
proin se domi eontineant,^ vitent infortunio.

Pkaed, Recte hie monstrat, si imperare possit. nam ita
nunc mos viget,
ita nunc servitiumst ; profecto modus haberi non
potest. 300

Cure. Ecquis est qui mihi commonstret Phaedromum
genium meum ?
ita res subita est, celeriter mihi ^ homine convento
est opus.

Pal. Te ille quaerit.

Phaed. Quid si adeamus ? heus, Curculio, te volo.

Cure. Quis vocat ? quis nominat me ?

^ Leo notes lacuna here : cowi. {moneo) Leo.
* Leo brackets following hoc.
220

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CURCULIO

burgomaster, I don*t care how grand he is — down
he'll go, down he'll drop from the sidewalk and
stand on his head in the street ! Yes, and as for
those cloaked Greeks^ that stroll about with
muffled heads and stalk along with their clothes
bulged out by books and provision baskets,
renegades that stand about together, palaver
together, block your road, set themselves in your
way, stalk along with their sage observations,
fellows you can always see guzzling in a tavern
when they've stolen something — muffling their
wretched heads and taking hot drinks, then
stalking along grave of face and half seas over !
— ^well, if I bump up against them, I'll knock
some porridge-fed wind out of every one of their
bodies. And then those servants of the city
bloods that play ball in the street — pitchers and
catchers both — every one shall go underfoot !
So let 'em keep themselves at home and avoid
danger.

Phaed. {to PaUnurus, significantly) He shows good sense, if
he only had authority. Yes, that's the growing
custom nowadays, that's the way with the servant
class nowadays ; there certainly is no controlling
them.

Cu7c (running back and forth energetically) Won't some-
one show me Phaedromus, my good genius } It's
an emergency, I must meet the man instantly.

Pal. {aside to Phaedromus) He's looking for you, sir.

Phaed, What if we go up to him .'* {stepping forward)
Hullo ! Curculio ! I want you.

Cure. {looking everywhere hut in the light direction) Who's
calling ? Who speaks my name ?

^ The original of this passage was probably a diatribe
on the Greek philosophers.

221

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Phaed, Qui te conventum cupit.

Cure, Haud magis me cupis quam ego te eupio.

Phaed, O mea opportunitas,

Curculio exoptate^ salve.
Cure, Salve.

Phaed. Salvom gaudeo

te ad venire, cedo tuam mi dexteram. ubi sunt
spes meae ?

eloquere, obsecro hercle.
Cure, Eloquere, te obsecro, ubi sunt meae ?

Phaed, Quid tibist ?

Ctire, Tenebrae oboriuntur, genua inedia succidunt.

Phaed. Lassitudine hercle credo.

Cure. Retine, retine me, obsecro. 310

Phaed, Viden ut expalluit ? datin isti sellam, ubi assidat, cito

et aqualem cum aqua ? properatin ocius ?
Cure. Animo male est.

Pal, Vin aquam }

Cure, Si frustulenta est, da, obsecro hercle, obsorbeam.

Pal, Vae capiti tuo.

Cure, Obsecro hercle, facite ventum ut gaudeam.

Pal. Maxume.

Cure, Quid facitis, quaeso ?

Pal. Ventum.

Cure. Nolo equidem mihi

fieri ventulum.

222

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CURCULIO

Phaed, A man that craves to meet you.

Cure, {seeing him) No more than 1 crave to meet you.

Phaed, Ah, my Opportunity ! my longed for Curculio I

bless you !
Cure, Same to you.
Phaed, Via delighted to have you safely here. Your

hand, your hand ? {seizing it) Where are my

hopes ? Speak, for the love of heaven, speak ?
Cure, And where are my hopes ? Speak, for the love of

heaven, speak ? (staggers)
Phaed, What's the matter }
Cure, Darkness veils my eyes! My knees give way

beneath me for want of food !
Phaed, {sympathetically) By Jove ! for fatigue, I fancy !
Cure, Hold me up, hold me up, for heaven's sake !
Phaed, {supporting him) See how pale he turned ! {shouting

to slaves within) Quick ! Get him a chair to sit

on, will you, and a bowl of water ? Come, come,

hurry, will you.
Cure, I feel faint ! {contrives to make the task of supporting

him extraordinarily difficult),

ENTER SLAVES WITH CHAIR AND WATE^

Pal. {helping to seat him) Want some water ?

Cure, {interested) If it has some morsels of food ii| it,

give it here, for the love of heaven, and let me

gulp it down !
Pal. {disgusted) Oh, curse you !
Cure, For the love of heaven, give me a . . . er . . . happy

home-coming ! ^
Pal. {helping Phaedromus to fan him) By all means.
Cure, What are you two doing, for mercy's sake ?
Pal. Giving you air.
Cure, But that air is not what I want.

^ The others take vttUum as ''wind," and act ac-
cordingly.

223

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Phaed. Quid igitur vis ?

Cure, Esse, ut ventum gaudeam.

PaL luppiter te dique perdant.

Cure, Perii, prospicio parum,

gramarum habeo dentes plenos, lippiunt fauces
fame,

ita cibi vaeivitate venio lassis lactibus.
Phaed, lam edes aliquid.
Cure, Nolo hercle aliquid ; certum quam

aliquid mavolo. 320

Pal. Immo si seias, reliquiae quae sint.
Cure. Scire nimis lubet

ubi sient, nam illis conventis sane opus est meis
dentibus.

Phaed. Pernam, abdomen, sumen sueris, glandium

Cure. Ain tu omnia haec ?

in carnario fortasse dicis.
Phaed, Immo in lancibus;

quae tibi sunt parata, postquam scimus venturum.
Cure, Vide

ne me ludas.
Phaed, Ita me amabit quam ego amo, ut ego

haud mentior.

sed quod te misi, nihilo sum certior.
Cure, Nihil attuli.

Phaed, Perdidisti me.
Ctire. Invenire possum, si mi operam datis.

postquam tuo iussu profectus sum, perveni in
Cariam,

video tuom sodalem, argenti rogo uti faciat copiam. 330

scires velle gratiam tuam, noluit frustrarier,

ut decet velle hominem amicum amico, atque
opitularier.

respondit mihi paucis verbis, atque adeo fideliter,

quod tibi est item sibi esse,magnam argenti inopiam.

224

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CURCULfO

Phaed. What do you want, then ?

Cure, To cat, to cat, so as to have a . . . er . . . happy
home-coming.

Pal, You be everlastingly damned !

Cure. I am a dead man ! I can barely see ! My teeth
are full of rheum, my jaws are bleary-eyed with
hunger ! Such a state as I am in, all from vacuity
of victuals, from intestinal fatigue !

Phaed, You shall have something to eat at once.

Cure, {groaning) Oh Lord ! It is not ^^ something " I
want; I prefer a definite thing to just ^^ something."

Pal. But if you only knew about the leavings — what
they are.

Cure, Ah, it is where they are that I am yearning to
know, for my teeth certainly do need to have
a conference with 'em.

Phaed, Ham, tripe, sow's udder, sweetbreads

Cure, {reviving) All that, really, really ? {doubtfully) I
daresay you mean they are in the pantry.

Phaed, No, no, in the platters — got ready for you after
we realized you were coming.

Cure, {piteously) Do not trifle with me, I beg you.

Phaed, So love me the girl I love, I'm not \ying ! But
about your mission, — I've heard nothing.

Cure, Nothing is what I have brought you.

Phaed, {starting) Oh, you've killed me !

Cure. {eheerfull/y) I can revive you, if you pay attention.
After setting out according to your orders, I
arrived in Caria. I saw your chum and asked
him to supply you with the cash. You should
not doubt his good will, he disliked to disappoint
you, he wanted, to do the proper thing as between
friends, and help you. His answer was brief and
perfectly sincere — that he was in the same box as
you, very short of funds.

VOL. II. Q

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Phaed, Perdis me tuis dictis.

Cure. Immo servo et servatum volo.

postquam mihi responsum est^ abeo ab illo maestus

ad forum
med illo frustra advenisse. forte aspicio militem.
aggredior hominem^ saluto adveniens. "salve"

Inquit mihi^
prendit dexteram, seducit^ rogat quid veniam

Cariam.
dico me illo advenisse animi causa, ibi me inter-
rogate Sd-O
ecquem in Epidauro Lyconem tarpezitam noverim.
dico me novisse. *^ quid ? lenonem Cappadocem ? *'

annuo
visitasse. *'sed quid cum vis ?" " quia de illo emi

virginem
triginta minis^ vestem^ aurum; et pro is decem

coaccedunt minae/*
"dedisti tu argentum?" inquam. "immo apud

trapezitam situm est
ilium quem dixi Lyconem^ atque ei mandavi^ qui

anulo
meo tabellas obsignatas attulisset^ ut daret
operam^ ut mulierem a lenone cum auro et veste

abduceret."
postquam hoc mihi narravit^ abeo ab illo. revocat

me ilico^
vocat me ad cenam ; religio fuit, denegare nolui. 350
" quid si abeamus ac decumbamus ?" inquit. con-
silium placet ;
"neque diem decet morari, neque nocti nocerier.**
" omnis res paratast." et nos^ quibus paratum est^

assiunus.
postquam cenati atque appoti^ talos poscit sibi in

manum^
226

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CURCULIO

Phaed, You're killing me with your story !

Cure, {masterfully) On the contrary, saving you, and
that is my aim. After getting his answer, off I
go to the forum, feeling glum at having come
there all for nothing. It so happens I see a
military man. Up I step and say good day to
him. " Good day to you," says he, and seizes my
hand, takes me aside, and asks what I have come
to Caria for. ^^ A pleasure trip," says I. Then
he inquires if I am acquainted with a certain
Lyco, a banker, in £pidaurus. I say I am.
" What then ? And a pimp named Cappadox }'* I
admit having seen him. ^^ But what do you want
of him ? " ^^ Well," says he, " I have bought a
girl of him, for a hundred and twenty pounds,
and along with her some clothes and jewellery ;
they stood me in forty pounds more." ^' Have you
paid him } " says I. " No," says he, " the money is
deposited with that banker Lyco I mentioned,
and on receipt of a letter from me sealed with my
own ring, he has my orders to assist the bearer in
getting the girl from the pimp, together with the
jewellery and clothes." After hearing this I
leave him. He calls mis back directly and invites
me to dinner. I had scruples, I could not decline.
''What if we go and take our places at table
now ? " says he. I like the idea; '' It is unseemly
to delay a day, or do despite against a dinner
hour." ''Everything is ready," says he. And
there we are, the men it is ready for ! After we
had dined and got well dipped, he calls for dice

227
Q 2

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

provocat me in aleam^ ut ego ludam. pono pallium,
ille suom amiculum opposivit, invocat Planesium.
Pkaed, Meosne amores ?

Cure, Tace pammper. iacit volturios quattuor.

talos arripio, invoco almam meam nutrieem Her-

culem,
iacto basilicum; propino magnum poclum. ille

ebibit,
caput deponit, condormiseit. ego ei subduco

anulum, S60

deduco pedes de lecto dam^ ne miles sentiat.
rogant me serri quo eam. dico me ire quo saturi

Solent,
ostium ubi conspexi, exinde me ilico protinam dedi.
Pkaed. Laudo.
Cure, Laudato quando illud quod cupis efFecero.^

eamus nunc intro, ut tabellas consignemus.

Pkaed, Num moror ?

Cure, Atque aliquid prius obstrudamus, pemam^ sumen,

glandium.

haee sunt ventris stabilimenta, pane et assa bubula,

poculum grande, aula magna, ut satis consilia

suppetant.
tu tabellas consignato, hie ministrabit, ego edam.
dicam quem ad modum conseribas. sequere me
hac intro.
Pkaed, Sequor. 370

^ Leo assumes lacuna following.
228

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CURCULIO

and challenges me to a game. I stake my cloak ;
he stakes his mantle against it^ and invokes
Planesium.1

Phaed, {with a start) My sweetheart ?

Cure, Keep still a moment. He throws four vultures. ^
I grab the dice, invoke my fostering nurse,
Hercules,^ and — make the royal * throw I I
raise a big bumper to his health. He drains it,
lets his head drop, falls fast asleep ! I draw off
his ring and draw my feet down from the couch
quietly, to keep the soldier from hearing. The
servants ask me where I am going. ^' Where
full men usually go," say I. The minute I caught
sight of the door I bolted out.

Phaed, Glorious!

Cure, {eooU^) Save your glorification till I have con-
summated your desire. For the present let us go
in and use the soldier's seal on a letter.

Phaed, I'm not keeping you, am I ?

Cure, (warming up) Yes, and first of all, let's force some-
thing down our throats — ^ham, sow's udder, sweet-
breads. This is the stuff to stay a stomach —
bread and roast beef, bumpers, a big pot — so that
we may be well supplied with wisdom. You
shall prepare the letter ; Palinurus here shall
wait on table ; and I — I shall eat. I'll tell you
how to write it. Come along ! this way ! (makes
for door with alacrity)

Phaed, Coming. [exeunt all into house.

^ It was a common custom (as in Asinima 780) to
invoke one's sweetheart on making a throw.

■ The lowest throw, four aces.

' A great eater.

* The highest throw, when all four dice, marked only
on four sides with the numbers 1, 3, 4, 6, turned up
different.

229

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ACTVS III

Lyco Beatus videor. subduxi ratiunculam^

quantum aeris mihi sit quantumque alieni siet.

dives sum, si non reddo els quibus debeo.^

verum hercle vero cum belle recogito,

si magis me instabunt, ad praetorem sufTeram.^

qui homo mature quaesivit pecuniam^ 380

nisi earn mature parsit, mature esurit.

cupio aliquem emere puerum, qui usurarius

nunc mihi quaeratur. usus est pecunia.

Cure, Nil tu me saturum monueris. memini et scio.
ego hoc effectum lepide tibi tradam. tace.
edepol ne ego hie med intus explevi probe,
et quidem reliqui in ventre celiac uni locum,
ubi reliquiarum reliquias reconderem.
quis hie est qui operto capite Aesculapium
salutat ? attat, quem quaerebam. sequere me. 390

simulabo quasi non noverim. heus tu, te volo.

Lyco Vnocule, salve.

Cure, Quaeso, deridesne me }

1 Leo brackets following v., 374 :

si reddo iUia quibus debeo, plus alieni est.

* Leo brackets following vv., 377-379 :

Tidbent hunc morem plerique argentarii,
ut alius aXium poacant, reddant nemini,
pugnis rem solvant, si quis poscat clarius.
230

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CURCULIO
ACT III

ENTER LyCO

Lyco I seem to be prospering. I've done a bit of
reckonings figuring up my assets and liabilities.
It's a plutocrat I am — ^if I don't pay my creditors.
(reflecting) Really though^ by gad, on giving the
question some pretty thought, if they press me
too hard, I'll just let the court do the settling.^
The man that's made money quickly must econo-
mize quickly, or he'll quickly go hungry. I'm
anxious to buy a slave — I mean to say, I must get
one I can have the use of; I've got use for my
money.

ENTER CurCuUo AND A SLAVE INTO THE DOORWAY OF

Phaedromuss house.

Cure, (to Pkaedromus within) None of your advice for me
when my stomach is full ! I remember, I know.
1 am the man to do the job for you handsomely.
Not a word ! (coming forward) Oh Jupiter ! the
gorgeous way I did fill up in there! Yes, but I
left one compartment of my belly empty as a
storeroom for what's left of the leavings, (seeing
L^co) Who's this chap with his head covered
doing homage to Aesculapius ? Aha ! the very
man I was looking for ! (to slave) Come along.
(aside) I'll act as if I didn't know him. (loudly to
Lyco) Hullo, you ! I want you !

Lyco (derisively) Greetings, One-Orb.

Cure, (with hauteur) Sir, Sir, are you scoffing at me ?

^ vv. 377-379: Most bankers have the habit of dunninfl;
everyone and repaying no one, of closing accounts with
their fists, if anyone duns them too loudly.

231

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Lyco De Coclitum prosapia te esse arbitror,

nam ei sunt unoculi.
Cure, Catapulta hoc ictum est mihi

apud Sicyonem.
Lyco Nam quid id refert mea,

an aula quassa cum cinere effossus siet ?
Cure, Superstitiosus hie quidem est, vera praedicat ;

nam illaec catapultae ad me crebro commeant.

adulescen3, ob retn publicam hoc intus mihi

quod insigne habeo, quaeso ne me incomities. 400

Lyco Licetne inforare, si incomitiare non licet ?
Cure, Non inforabis me quidem, nee mihi placet

tuom profecto nee forum nee comitium.

sed hunc, quem quaero, commonstrare si potes,

inibis a me solidam et grandem gratiam.

Lyconem quaero tarpezitam.
Lyeo Die mihi,

quid cum nunc quaeris ? aut cuiati's ?
Cure, Eloquar.

ab Therapontigono Platagidoro milite.
Lyco Novi edepol nomen, nam mihi istoc nomine,

dum scribo, explevi totas ceras quattuor. 410

sed quid Lyconem quaeris ?
Cure, Mandatumst mihi,

ut has tabellas ad eum ferrem.
Lyco Quis tu homo es ?

Cure, Libertus illius, quem omnes Summanum vocant.
Lyco Summane, salve, qui Summanu's ? fac sciam.

1 The Cyclopes.
232

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CURCULIO

Ijyco I take it you come of the stock of the Coclites ^ ;

they're a one-orbed lot, you know.
Cure, *Twas struck by a shot from a catapult in Sicyon.
Lyco Oh well, little I care whether it was shot out, or

knocked out when a pot of cinders was cracked

on your head.
Cure, (aside) My word I The man's a clairvoyant ! It

happened just as he says — ^for catapeltic shots of

that variety are for ever coming my way. (aloud,

with dignity) Young man, I won the honourable

wound beneath this bandage in defence of my

country and, I beg you, do not outrage me in public.
Lyco How about outraging you in private, if not in

public ?
Cure, No sir, not me ! No such privacy for me, or

publicity, either, certainly not. But if you can

show me where to find the man I am looking for,

you shall get a good substantial — thankye. I am

looking for Lyco, the banker.
Lyco (on his guard) Why d'ye look for him now, tell me

that } Where are you from ?
Cure, I will inform you. I come from Captain Thera-

pontigonus Smackahead.
Ln/co (aside) Gad ! I know that name. I filled four

whole pages of my ledger writing it down.

(aloud) But why d'ye look for Lyco ?
Cure, I have received instructions to carry this letter to

him. (shonnng it)
Lyeo And who may you be }
Cure. The Captain's freedman — I am generally called

Summanus.^
Lyeo (moekingly) Greetings, Summanus ! Why that

name ? Inform me.

name r iniorm me.

• ** Trickier," as from aummanOf " trickle," with a pli
upon Summanus, a Roman deity.

lay
235

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Cure, Quia vestimenta^ ubi obdormivi ebrius^

summano^ ob earn rem me omnes Summanum
vocant.
Li^co Alibi te meliust quaerere hospitium tibi ;

apud me profecto nihil est Summano loci.

sed istmn quern quaeris ego sum.
Cure, Quaeso^ tune is es,

Lyco trapezita ?
L^co Ego sum.

Cure, Multam me tibi 420

salutem iussit Therapontigonus dicere^

et has tabellas dare me iussit.
L^co Mihin }

Cure, Ita.

cape, signum nosce. nostin }
Lyco Quidni noverim ?

clupeatus elephantum ubi machaera dissicit.
Cure, Quod istic scriptum est, id te orare iusserat

profecto ut faceres, suam si velles gratiam.
Lyco Concede, inspiciam quid sit scriptum.
Cure, Maxime,

tuo arbitratu, dum auferam abs te id quod peto.
Lyco " Miles Lyconi in Epidauro hospiti

suo Therapontigonus Platagidorus plurimam 430

salutem dicit."
Cure, Meus hie est, hamum vorat.

Lyco " Tecum oro et quaeso, qui has tabellas adferet

tibi, ut ei detur quam istic emi virginem,

quod te praesente isti egi teque interprete,

et aurum et vestem. iam scis ut convenerit :

argentum des lenoni, is huic det virginem."

ubi ipsus ? cur non venit ?

234

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CURCULIO

Well, when I have gone to bed drunk, accidents
occur to my clothes ; so they call me Summanus.
You had better look for entertainment elsewhere ;
there's no place for Summanus at my house, that's
sure. However, I am the man you're looking for.
You ? Really ? You are banker Lyco ?
I am.

Therapontigonus told me to convey his cordial
greetings to you and to give you this letter.
Me?

Exactly, {hands over letter) Here ! Look at the
seal. You recognize it ?

(looking) Why shouldn't I ? {chuckling over seat)
A bucklered warrior cleaving an elephant in twain
with his blade.

He instructed me to beg you to do what is
written there without fail, if you wished to oblige
him.

Step back. I'll see what is written here.
{retiring) Very well, suit yourself — provided I get
from you what I am after.

{reading) " Captain Therapontigonus Smackahead
extends heartiest greetings to Lyco, his host in
Epidaurus."

{aside) I've got him I He's swallowing the hook !
^' I beg you to be so kind as to see that the bearer
of this letter is given the girl I purchased in
Epidaurus — ^an affair which I transacted in your
presence there and through your agency — to-
gether with the jewellery and clothes. You
already know our arrangement : you are to give
the money to the pimp, and he is to give the girl
to my messenger."

Where is the Captain himself ? Why doesn't he
come?

235

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Cure. Ego dkam tibi :

quia nudiusquartus venimus in Cariam
ex India ; ibi nunc statuam volt dare auream
solidam faciundam ex auro Philippe^ quae siet 440

septempedalis^ factis monumentum suis.

Lyco Quam ob rem istuc ?

Cure, Dicam. quia enim Persas, Paphlagones^

Sinopes, Arabes, Cares, Cretanos, Syros,
Rhodiam atque Lyciam, Perediam et Perbibesiam^
Centauromachiam et Classiam Vnomammiam,
Libyamque oram^ omnem, omnem Conterebrom-

niam,
dimidiain partem nationum usque omnium
subegit solus intra viginti dies.

Lyco Vah.

Cure, Quid mirare ?

Lyco Quia enim in cavea si forent

conclusi, itidem ut pulli gallinaeei, 450

ita non potuere uno anno circumirier.
credo hercle te esse ab illo, ita nugas blatis.

Cure. Immo etiam porro^ si vis^ dicam.

Lyco Nil moror.

sequere hac^ te absolvam qua advenisti gratia,
atque eccum video, leno, salve.

Ca. Di te ament.

Lyco Quid hoc quod ad te venio ?

Ca. Dicas quid velis.

Lyco Argentum accipias, cum illo mittas virginem.

^ omm {omnem) Lindsay.
%»6

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CURCULIO

I will tell you why — because four days ago we
came from India to Caria^ and now he wishes to
have a solid gold statue of himself made there^
good gold of Philip^^ seven feet high^ as a memorial
of his exploits.
A memorial ! What for ?

ril tell you. Why, because the Persians, Pa-
phlagonians, Sinopians, Arabs, Carians, Cretans,
Syrians, Rhodes and Lycia, Gobbleonia and
Guzzleania, Centaurbattaglia and Onenipplearmia,
the whole coast of Libya aiid the whole of Grape-
jusqueezia, in fact, a good half of all the nations
on earth, have been subdued by him ^ngle-h»ided
inside of twenty days.
{apparent^/ ofvestruck) Whew !
What M*e you surjwrised about ?
Why, because if those people were shut up in a
coop like so many chickens, even then it would
take a man more than a year to walk around 'em.
Gad ! I believe you do come from him — ^you talk
such twaddle.

Oh, but I will give you more facts still, if you like.
No you won't, {going) Come along ; I'll settle
the business that brought you here.
' ENTER Cappadox from temple
Ah, there's our man ! Good day, pimp.
{drearily) God bless you.
What of the matter I'm coming to you about ?
Tell me what you want.

Take your mcmey, and send the girl off with that
fellow, {indicating Curculio)

^ Philip of Macedon, on acquiring the gold-minea of
Thrace, issued gold pieces worth about twenty drachmae
(about fifteen (killings), which Became widely current as
a standard coinage.

237

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ca, Quid quod iuratus sum ?

Lyco Quid id refert tua,

dum argentum accipias ?
Ca, Qui monet quasi adiuvat. 459^ 460

sequimini.
Cure, Leno^ cave in te sit mora mihi.

ACTVS IV

Ckor, Edepol nugatorem lepidum lepide hunc nactust

Phaedromus.
halapantam an sycophantam magis esse dicam

neseio.
omamenta quae locavi metuo ut possim recipere ;
quamquam cum istoc mihi negoti nihil est; ipsi

Phaedromo
credidi. tamen asservabo. sed dum hie egreditur

foras^
commonstrabo^ quo in quemque hominem facile

inveniatis loco,
ne nimio opere sumat operam si quem conventum

velit,
vel vitiosum vel sine vitio, vel probum vel im-

probum.
qui periurum convenire volt hominem ito in comi-

tium ; 470

qui mendacem et gloriosum^ apud Cloacinae sacrum,
ditis damnosos maritos sub basilica quaerito.
ibidem erunt scorta exoleta quique stipulari solent,
S3rmbolarum collatores apud forum piscarium..
in foro infimo boni homines atque dites ambulant,
in medio propter canalem, ibi ostentatores meri ;
confidentes garrulique et malevoli supera lacum,
qui alteri de nihilo audacter dicunt contumeliam
238

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CURCULIO

Ca, How about the oath I took ?

Lyco What's the odds to you so long as you get your

money ?
Ca, "He who counsels^ aids." Come, (leads way

toward his house)
Cure, {sternly) Mind^ pimp ! no delaying me !

[exeunt into house.

ACT IV

ENTER THE COMPANY*S PROPERTY MANAGER.

Manager (looking after Curculio) My word I A splendid
stroke of Phaedromus's, hitting on this splendid
swindler! I hardly know whether to call him
more sharp or sharper. The costumes I hired
out are gone for good^ I fear me. To be sure, I
had no dealings with him ; I trusted them to
Phaedromus himself. However, I shall keep my
eyes open. Well, till he comes out, I will show
you where you can readily find men of every
variety, so that no one will have to labour too
laboriously if he wishes to meet anyone vicious
or virtuous, worthy or worthless. In case you
wish to meet a perjurer, go to the Comitium ; for
a liar and braggart, try the temple of Venus
Cloacina ^ ; for wealthy married wasters, the
Basilica. There too will be harlots, well-ripened
ones, and men ready for a bargain, while at the
Fish-market are the members of eating clubs.
In the lower forum citizens of repute and wealth
stroll about ; in the middle forum, near the Canal,
there you find the merely showy set. Above the
Lake are those brazen, garrulous, spiteful fellows
who boldly decry other people without reason

* Venus the Purifier.

239

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

et qui ipsi sat habent quod in se possit vere dicier,
sub veteribus, ibi sunt qui dant quique accipiunt

faenore. 480

pone aedem CastcH*is^ ibi sunt subito quibus credas

male,
in Tusco vico, ibi aint homines qui ipsi sese ven-

ditant^i
vel qui ipsi vorsant vel qui aliis ubi vorsentur

praebeant.2
sed interim fores erepuere ; linguae moderandum

est mihi.

IV. 2.

Cure, I tu prae, virgo ; non queo quod pone me est servare.
et aurum et vestem omnem suam esse aiebat quam
haee haberet.
Ca, Nemo it infitias.

Cure, At tamen meliuseulum est monere.

Lyco Memento promisisse te, si quisquam banc liberali 490
causa manu assereret^ mihi omne argentum reddi-

tum iri^
minas triginta.
Ca. Meminero, de istoc quietus esto.

et nunc idem dico.
Cure, Et quidem meminisse ego haec volam te.

Ca, Memini^ et mancupio tibi dabo.
Cure. Egon ab lenone quicquam

mancupio accipiam^ quibus sui nihil est nisi una

lingua^
qui abiurant si quid creditum est ? alienos mancu-
patis^

^ Leo brackets following v., 483 :

in Vtldbro velpistorem vel lanium vel haruapkem,
■ Leo brackets following v., 485 :

ditia damnosoa marUoa apud Leucadiam Oppiam.
240

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CURCULIO

and are open to plenty of truthful criticism them-
selves. Below the Old Shops are those who
lend and borrow upon usury. Behind the temple
of Castor are those whom you would do ill to trust
too quickly. In the Tuscan Quarter are those
worthies who sell themselves— either those who
turn themselves or give others a chance to turn.
{listening) But there ! a noise at the door ! I must
rein in my tongue. [exit Manager,

Scene 2. enter Curculio, his slave, Cappadox, Lyco, and
Planesium into doorway.

Cure, You go in front, young lady ; I cannot watch
what is behind me. (to Cappadox) The Captain
said that all the jewellery and clothes she had
were his, too.

Ca, Nobody denies it.

Cure, {firmly) It is rather better to remind you, how-
ever.

Lyco {to Cappacbx) Remember, if anyone should suc-
ceed in claiming her as a freebom girl, you
promised I should have all my money back, one
hundred and twenty pounds.

Ca, I will remember ; be easy about that. Yes, I say
so again now.

Cnrc, And / shall want you to remember all this, too.

Ca. Yes, yes. Til hand her over to you formally and
legally.

Cure, {scornful) I receive anything formally and legally
from a pimp ? Fellows that own nothing but the
bare tongue they swear off honest debts with !
You fellows are not the owners of those you

241

VOL. II. R

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

alienos manu emittitis alieiiisque imperatis^
nee vobis aiictor ullus est nee vosmet testis ulli.
item genus est lenonium inter homines meo quidem

animo
ut muscae^ culices^ cimices pedesque pulicesque : 500
odio et malo et molestiae^ bono usui estis nuUi^
nee vobiscum quisquam in foro frugi eonsistere

audet.
qui eonstitit^ culpant eum, eonspicitur vituperatur,
eum rem fidemque perdere, tam etsi nil fecit, aiunt.
Lyco Edepol lenones meo animo novisti, lusce, lepide.
Cure, Eodem hercle vos pono et paro; parissimi estis
hibus.
hi saltem in oeeultis locis prostant, vos in foro ipso,
vos faenore homines, hi male suadendo et lustris

lacerant.
rogitationis plurimas propter vos populus scivit,
quas vos rogatas rumpitis ; aliquam reperitis rimam. 510
quasi aquam ferventem frigidam esse, ita vos putatis
leges.
Lnfco Tacuisse mavellem.

Ca. Hau male meditate maledicax es.

Cure. Indignis si male dicitur, male dictum id esse dico,

verum si dignis dicitur, bene dictumst meo quidem

animo.
ego mancupem te nil moror nee lenonem alium

quemquam.
Lyco, numquid vis }
Lyco Bene vale.

Cure, Vale.

Co. Heus tu, tibi ego dico.

242

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CURCULIO

formally and legally sell^ those you set firee^
those you order about. You have no title to
them^ and you yourselves can give no one else a
title to them. In my humble opinion, the whole
pimp tribe occupies the social position of flies,
gnats, bugs, lice, and fleas : you are a pest, a
plague, a general nuisance, of no good to any-
body, and no decent person dares stand beside
you in the forum. If anycme does, he is censured,
eyed, condemned ; he is on the road to ruin, they
say, even though he has done nothing.

Ijfco {chuckling) Gad ! You have a pretty acquaintance
with pimps, in my opinion. One-eye.

Cure. (turning on him with asperity) And by heaven, I
put you people in the same class and category;
you match them perfectly. They, at least, do
business in private, you in the open forum. You
mangle men with usury, they with vile solicitation
and dens of vice. The people have passed bills
without number against you, and once they pass
them, you smash them ; you always find some
loophole. To you laws are like boiling water that
soon grows cold.

L^co (aside, wryly) I wish I'd kept my mouth shut.

Ca, {judicially y with a sour grin at Lofco) There is much
hard thinking behind those hard words.

Cure. Hard words are hard if spoken to those that do
not deserve them, but if they do deserve them,
soft — ^at least in my opinion. None of your surety
for me, or any other pimp's either, {about to go)
Anything else, Lyco ?

Lyco (eagerly) Good-bye, good-bye !

Cure. Good-bye. (turns away, Planesium lingering tear-

>%)

Ca. {to CureuUo) Here, you ! I say !

243
R 2

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Cure, Eloquere, quid vis ?

Ca, Quaeso^ ut hanc cures^ ut bene sit isti.

bene ego istam eduxi meae domi et pudice.
Cure. Si huius miseret,

ecquid das qui bene sit ?
Ca, Malum.

Cure. Opust hoc qui te procures.

Ca. Quid stulta ploras ? ne time, bene hercle vendidi

ego te. 520

fac sis bonae frugi sies, sequere istum bella belle.
Lyco Summane, numquid nunciam me vis ?
Cure. Vale atque salve,

nam et operam et pecuniam benigne praebuisti.
Lyeo Salutem multam dicito patrono.
Cure. Nuntiabo.

Lyeo Numquid vis, leno ?
Ca. Istas minas decem, qui me procurem,

dum melius sit mihi, des.
Lyeo Dabuntur, eras peti iubeto.

Ca. Quando bene gessi rem, volo hie in fano supplicare.

nam illam minis olim decem puellam parvolam emi,

sed eum qui mi illam vendidit numquam postilla
vidi;

periisse credo, quid id mea refert ? ego argentum
habeo. 530

quoi homini di sunt propitii, lucnun ei profecto
obiciunt.

nunc rei divinae operam dabo. certumst bene me
curare.

244

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CURCULIO

Cure, Out with it ! What do you want ?

Ca, {virtuously) Do take care that this girl be well
treated. She was well brought up at my house^
and modestly ; I saw to it myself.

Cure, In case you pity her, what will you pay toward
her being well treated ?

Ca. {taken aback) Oh hang !

Cure. That is just what you need.

Ca, (to Planesium) What are you crying about, silly ?
Never you fear. Good heavens, I have disposed
of you well. Now be a good girl, mind. Go along
with him prettily, my pretty.

lA^eo Well, Summanus, anything more I can do now }

Cure. Good-bye, and good luck to you, for you have been
most accommodating with your time and money
both.

Lyco Give my best regards to your patron.

Cure, I shall do so. [exit with Planesium and slave.

Ijyeo Anything further, pimp ?

Ca, The payment of that forty pounds, so that I may
look out for myself till things (groans) go better
with me.

Lyco You'll be paid ; send for it to-morrow, [exit Ij/eo,

Ca, (wearily eontented) Seeing I have managed that
affair well, I must go in the temple here and
pray. Why, I bought that girl for forty pounds,
long ago when she was only a little thing, but I
have never set eyes on the seller since. Dead, I
dare say. Well, what's the odds } I have the
cash. When the gods are propitious to a man,
they throw money in his way, they certainly do.
Now to offer sacrifice. I am resolved to take
good care of myself. [exit into temple.

245

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

IV. 3.
- Ther, Non ego nunc mediocri incedo iratus iracundia,

sed eapse ilia qua excidionem facere condidici

oppidis.
nunc nisi tu mihi propere properas dare iam triginta

minas^
quas ego apud te deposivi, vitam propera ponere.
Li/co Non edepol nunc ego te mediocri macto infortunio^

sed eopse illo quo mactare soleo quoi nil debeo.
Ther. Ne te mi facias ferocem aut supplicare censeas.
Li/co Nee tu me quidem umquam subiges^ redditum ut

reddam tibi, 540

nee daturus sum.
Ther. Idem ego istuc quom credebam credidi,

te nihil esse redditurum.
Lyco Quor nunc a me igitur petis ?

Ther. Scire volo quoi reddidisti.
Li/co Lusco liberto tuo,

is Summanum se vocari dixit^ ei reddidi.^
Ther. Quos tu mihi luscos libertos, quos Summanos som-
nias?
nee mihi quidem libertus ullust.
Lyco Facis sapientius

quam pars ^ lenonum, libertos qui habent et eos
deserunt.
Ther. Quid nunc ? ^

Li/co Quod mandasti feci, tui honoris gratia,

tuom qui signum ad me attulisset, nuntium ne
spemerem. 550

^ Leo brackets following v., 645 :
qui has tabellas ohsigncUaa attvlit.
Ther. Qwia tu mihi tabellas ?

246

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CURCULIO

Scene S, enter TheraporUiganus and Lt/co,

Tker, (bellotving) *Tis now in no common rage I ragefully

stride on^ but in that selfsame rage in which I

have learned so well to root up cities. Now unless

thou dost hastily make haste to give me the

hundred and twenty pounds I left with thee^

make haste to leave this life.
Za^co (mimicking him) And by heaven, 'tis now with no

common warmth Fll make things warm for thee,

but with that selfsame warmth with which I am

wont to make things warm ibr him to whom —

I owe nothing.
Ther, No insolence to me, fellow, and think not of

entreaty !
Li/co And there'll be no forcing me, fellow, not me, to

return you your money twice over ; I won't do it.
Ther. {less violent) I expected this very thing when I

trusted it to you — ^that never a penny would you

return.
Li/co Then why do you come to me for it now }
Ther. I want to know to whom you returned it.
Lyco That one-eyed freedman of yours — said he was

called Summanus — I returned it to him.
Ther, What one-eyed freedmen of mine, what Sum-

manuses, are you dreaming of, man ? Ncrt; a

single freedman have I got.
Lyco You act more wisely than certain pimps who do

have freedmen, and leave 'em in the lurch.
Ther, What does this mean }
Lyco It means I followed your instructions, out of

regard for you, not to repudiate the man that

brought me your own seal.

• Corrupt (Leo) : pars kUronum Dousa.

* quid nunc Goetz : quid feci MSS.

247

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ther. Stultior stulto fuisti, qui tabellis crederes.

Lyco Quis res publica et privata geritur, nonne eis cre-

derem ?
ego abeo^ tibi res solutast recte. bellator, vale.
Ther, Quid valeam ?

Lyco Aut tu aegrot^ aetatem^ si lubet, per me quidem.

Ther, Quid ego nunc faciam? quid refert me fecisse

regibus
ut mi oboedirent^ si hie me hodie umbraticus deri-

serit?

IV. 4.

Ca, Quoi homini di sunt propitii^ ei non esse iratos puto.

postquam rem divinam feci^ venit in mentem mihi^

ne trapezita exulatum abierit^ argentum ut petam^

ut ego potius comedim quam ille.
Ther, lusseram salvere te. 560

Ca, Therapontigone Platagidore, salve; salvos quom
advenis

in Epidaurum^ hie hodie apud me — ^numquam de-
linges salem.
Ther, Bene voeas, verum locata res est — ^ut male sit tibi.

sed quid agit meum mercimonium apud te ?
Ca, Nil apud me quidem,

ne facias testis, neque equidem debeo quicquam.
Ther, Quid est?

Ca, Quod fui iuratus feci.
Ther. Reddin an non virginem,

prius quam te huic meae machaerae obicio, mas-
tigia.'^

248

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CURCULIO

Ther. You ass of asses ! to trust writing !

Lofco Not trust what public and private business all de-
pends on ? (disgustedly) Fm going. Your account
is duly settled. Farewell, warrior, {turns away)

Tker. (hotly) " Farewell/* is it ?

Lyco (over his shoulder) Or fare the other way, to the
end of your life, if you like — ^little I care.

[exit Lyco,

Ther, What shall I do now.? What boots it to have
made monarchs my menials, if this cloistered
caitiff is to flout me thus }

Scene 4. enter Cappadox, waddling out of the temple.

Ca. (hopefully) When the gods are propitious to a
man, he is a man they — (sighing) are not angry
with, I think. After I offered sacrifice it occurred
to me that the banker might leave the country,
and I had better demand my money, so as to
let it go into my stomach rather than his.

Ther, (sternly) Good day to you, sir, good day, I say. •

Ca. (without ardour) Good day, Therapontigonus
Smackahead. In honour of your safe arrival
in Epidaurus, here at my house to-day you shall
have — never a lick of salt.

Ther. Much obliged, only I have arranged to give you —
the very devil I Well, how about that merchan-
dise of mine you have ?

Ca. I ? I have nothing — (as Therapontigonus gets ex-
cited) no, no need of witnesses — and not a thing
do I owe you, not a thing.

Ther. How is this ?

Co. What I swore Vd do, I've done.

Ther. (grasping his sword hilt) Wilt hand over the maiden
or not, hangdog, ere I subject thee to this blade
of mine ?

249

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ca, Vapulare ego te vehementer iubeo. ne me territcs.
ilia abductast^ tu auferere bine a me^ si perges

mibi
male loqui, profecto, cui ego nisi malum nil debeo. 570
Tker. Mihin malum minitare ?
Ca, Atque edepol non minitabor^ sed dabo^

mihi si perges molestus esse.
Ther, Leno minitatur mihi^

meaeque pugnae proeliares plurimae optritae

iacent ?
at ita me machaera et clupeus ^
bene invent pugnantem in acie : nisi mi virgo red-

ditur,
iam ego te faciam ut hie formicae frustillatim
differant.
Ca. At ita me volsellae, pecten, speculum^ ealamistrum
meum
bene me amassint meaque axitia linteumque ex-

tersui,
ut ego tua magnifica verba neque istas tuas magnas

minas
non pluris facio quam ancillam meam quae latrinam

lavat. 580

ego illam reddidi qui argentum a te attulit.
Ther. Quis is est homo ?

Ca. Tuom libertum esse aiebat sese Summanum.
Ther. Meum ?

attat^ Curculio hercle verba mihi dedit, cum cogito.
is mihi anulum subripuit.
Ca. Perdidistin tu anulum ?

miles pulchre centuriatus est expuncto in manipulo.
Ther. Vbi nunc Curculionem inveniam ?
Ca. In tritico facillume,

* Leo notes lacuna here : {et lorica et cassicUi) Lambinus.
250

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CURCULIO

Ca, (coolly) A good sound hiding is what I recommend
for you. You needn't try to scare me. She has
been taken away, and as for you, you shall be
carried away, mark my words, if you go on
abusing me, when all I owe you is a thrashing.

Tker. Me ? You threaten me with a thrashing ?

Ca. Yes, and by heaven, I won't threaten — Y\\ give
you one, if you go on annoying me.

Tker, A pimp to threaten me ? And my countless
bellicose battles trampled in the dust ? Now so
help me well blade and shield, when I do battle
on the field — ^unless the maiden is handed over to
me, I will at once so serve thee that the ants
will scatter thee hereabouts bit by bit.

Ca, {mimicking him) Now so love me well my depila-
tory tweezers, comb, mirror, curling tongs, shears,
and bath towel — I no more bother about your
braggadocio and bloody bluster than about my
servant wench that cleans the privy. I have
delivered that girl to the man that brought the
cash from you.

Tker, Who is this man }

Ca. He said he was a ireedman of yours, Summanus.

Tker. Of mine ? (rejlecting) Aha ! By heaven, now I
think it over, it is Curculio has tricked me ! He
stole my ring.

Ca. Lost your ring, have you } (aside) A fine com-
mission our Captain has — ^in a company that draws
no pay.i

Tker, Where shall I find Curculio now }

Ca. {appearing to misunderstand) Curculio } A weevil ?
In amongst the wheat, most likely; I warrant

^ Having lost his ring, the Captain loses money ; hence,
according to comedy logic, he belongs to a company which
is in disgrace and draws no pay.

251

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

vel quingentos curculiones pro uno faxo reperias.
ego abeo^ vale atque salve.
Ther, Male vale, male sit tibi.

quid ego faeiam ? maneam an abeam ? sicin mi esse

OS oblitum ?
cupio dare mercedem qui illune ubi sit common-

stret mihi. 590

ACTVS V

Cure, Antiquom poetam audivi scripsisse in tragoedia,
mulieres duas peiores esse quam unam. res itast.
verum mulierem peiorem quam haec amica est

Phaedromi
non vidi aut audivi, neque pol dici nee fingi potest
peior quam haec est; quae ubi me habere hunc

conspicatast anulum,
rogat unde habeam. '^ quid id tu quaens ?'* " quia

mi quaesitost opus/'
nego me dicere. ut eum eriperet, manum arripuit

mordicus.
vix foras me abripui atque effugi. apage istanc

caniculam.

V. 2.

Plan, Phaedrome, propera.

Phaed, Quid properem ?

252

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CURCULIO

you will find five hundred curculios, for that
matter, instead of one. (turning away) I am going,
myself, {pner his shoulder, patronizing^) Fare thee
well, bless you !
Ther. Fare thee ill, curse you ! [exit Cappadox] What
shall I do ? Stay, or go ? I to have my face
smeared in this fashion ! Oh, I long to give a
reward to the man that shows me where he is !

[exit, very bloodthirsty,

ACT V
ENTER CurcuUo PRECIPITATELY FROM Phaedromus s

HOUSE.

Cure. (Utterly) An old dramatist, so I*ve heard, once
wrote in a tragedy^ that two women are worse
than one. They are. But a worse woman than
this wench of Phaedromus's I never did see or
hear of, either, and by gad, a worse one can't be
mentioned or even imagined ! As soon as she
notices I have this ring {showing the Captain*s
ring), she asks me where I got it. ^^ What do you
want to know for ? " says T. " Because there's
need I should," says she. I refuse to tell her.
She tried to get it off and got her teeth in my
hand in the process. I just managed to get
myself out of the door and make my escape.
Lord deliver me from such a little beast !

Scene 2, enter Planesium into doorway.

Plan, (eoccitedly) Hurry, Phaedromus!

ENTER Phaedromus into doorway.
Phued. Hurry? Why.?

^ The source of the quotation is unknown.

253

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Plan. Parasitum ne amiseris.

magna res est.
Pkaed, Nulla est mihi^ nam quam habui ab-

sumpsi celeriter. 600

Plan. Teneo.
Pkaed. Quid negotist ?

Plan. Rogita unde istunc habeat anulum.

pater istum meus gestitavit.^
Cure, At mea matertera.

Plan. Mater ei utendum dederat.

Cure. Pater ^ vero is rusum tibi.

Plan. Nugas garris.

Cure. Soleo, nam propter eas vivo facilius.

Plan. Quid nunc ? obseero, parentes ne meos mihi pro-

hibeas.
Cure. Quid ego ? sub gemmane abstrusos habeo tuam

matrem et patrem ?
Plan. Libera ego sum nata.

Cure. Et alii multi qui nunc servimit.

Pkaed. Enim vero irascor.

Cure. Dixi equidem tibi, unde ad me hie pervenerit.

quotiens dicendum est ? elusi militem, inquam^ in

alea.
Tker. Salvos sum, eccum quern quaerebam. quid agis,

bone vir?
Cure. Audio. 6 10

si vis tribus bolis, vel in ehlamydem.
Tker. Quin tu is in malam crucem

^ Leo notes lacuna here : gestitavit {olim) Leo.
■ vero (i#) Lindsay ; ito is J
S54

yGoogk

CURCULIO

Plan, So as not to lose the parasite. It means every-
thing.
Phaed, (dryly) And I have nothings for ever3rthing I had

I ran through in no time.
Plan, (seizing CurcuUo) I have him !
Pkaed, What's it all about?
Plan, Ask him where he got that ring there. My father

used to wear that ring.
Cure, Well, so did my mother's sister.
Plan, My mother let him take it.
Cure, (banteringly) And this father passed it on to you,

no doubt.
Plan, You're talking nonsense.
Cure, A habit of mine — ^that is the way 1 pick up an

easier living, you see.
Plan, (aTixiousk^) Well ? Well ? For heaven's sake,

don't keep me from my parents !
Cure, £h ? I ? (examning the ring in mock consternation)

Have I got your mother and father tucked away

under the stone here }
Plan, I was bom free.

Cure, So were lots of other folks that are slaving it now.
Pkaed, (to Curculioy testify) Really now, this is too much.
Cure, Well, I told you how it came into my hands.

How many times do you need to be told ? I

tricked a soldier at a game of dice, I say.
ENTER Therapontigonus dolefully.
Ther, (seeing CurcuUo) Saved ! There he is, there is my

man ! (roaring) Ah, my good sir, what now ?
Cure, (cahnfy) I'm all attention. Three throws, if you

like, for — (scanning Captain with a grin) oh, well,

for a military cloak.
Ther. You be damned, with all your throes of throat and

255

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

cum bolis^ cum bulbis ? redde mihi iam argentum
aut virginem.
Cure, Quod argentum, quas tu mihi tricas narras ? quam
tu virginem

me reposcis ?
Tker, Quam ab lenone abduxti hodie, scelus viri.

Cure. Nullam abduxi.
Ther, Certe eccistam video.

Phaed, Virgo haec libera est.

Ther, Mean ancilla libera ut sit, quam ego numquam

emisi manu ?
Phaed, Quis tibi banc dedit mancipio ? aut unde emisti ?

fac sciam.
Ther, Ego quidem pro istac rem solvi ab trapezita meo.

quam ego pecuniam quadruplicem abs te et lenone
auferam.
Phaed, Qui scis mercari furtivas atque ingenuas virgines, 620

ambula in ius.
Ther, Non eo.

Phaed, Licet ^ antestari ?

Ther, Non licet.

Phaed, luppiter te, miles, perdat, intestatus vivito ;

at ego, quem licet, te. accede hue.
Ther, Servom antestari ?

Cure,' Vide.

em ut scias me liberum esse, ergo ambula in ius.
Ther, Em tibi. 624, 625

Cure, O cives, cives.

^ Leo brackets following te,
256

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CURCULIO

belly ! ^ Give me back my money or my girl this

instant !
Cure, What money ? What sort of bosh are you talking

to me ? What girl are you asking back from me ?
Ther. The one you took from the pimp to-day, you

enormity of a man I
Cure, Not one did I take.
Ther, I certainly see her {pointing to Planesium) right

before my face !
Phaed. {urbanely) This young lady is free.
Ther. My maidservant free, when I never freed her ?
Phaed, Who gave you any legal right to her ? Whom did

you buy her from ? Inform me.
Ther, 1} I settled for her through my banker. And

ril have the money, four times over, from you

and the pimp.
Phaed, (blustering in turn) Come, you hardened trader in

kidnapped and freebom maidens, off to court with

you !
Ther. Not I.

Phaed, {to CurcuUo) Can I call on you to testify ?
Ther, {interrupting) You can not.
Phaed, Curse you. Captain ! May you live without testes

yourself, then ! {to Curcnlio again) But I call on

you, a man I can call on. Come here.
Ther. A slave testifying ?
Cure, {allowing Phaedromus to touch his ear^) Look!

Here ! Just to show you 1 am a free man ! Now

then, off to court with you !
Ther, {striking him) And here's one for you !
Cure, {bawling) Help, citizens, help !

^ It seems impossible to render the word-play closely.
Bolts =hoth ** throws" and "choice morsels," while btdbis
3= some sort of ** onion."

^ The ordinary procedure in engaging a witness.

257

VOL. II. S

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ther, Quid clamas ?

Phaed, Quid tibi istum tactio est ?

Ther, Quia mihi lubitum est.

Phaed. Accede hue tu. ego ilium tibi dedam. tace.

Plan. Phaedrome^ obsecro serva me.

Phaed. Tamquam me et genium meum.

miles^ quaeso te ut mihi dicas unde ilium habeas
anulum,

quern parasitus hie te elusit.
Plan, Per tua genua te obsecro, 630

ut nos facias certiores.
Ther. Quid istuc ad vos attinet ?

quaeratis chlamydem et machaeram hanc unde ad
me pervenerit.
Cure, Vt fastidit gloriosus.

Ther, Mitte istum, ego dicam omnia.

Cure, Nihil est quod ille dicit.
Plan, Fac me certiorem, obsecro.

Ther, Ego dicam, surge, hanc rem agite atque animum
advortite.

pater meus habuit Periphanes ^
Plan, Hem,2 Periphanes !

Ther, Is prius quam moritur mihi dedit tamquam suo,

ut aequom fuerat, filio.
Plan. Pro luppiter.

Ther, Et isto me heredem fecit.
Plan, O Pietas mea,

serva me, quando ego te servavi sedulo. 640

frater mi, salve.

* PeripJianes Piua : Periplanca MSB.

* Aem, Peripfianea Acididias : Planesium MSS.
258

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CURCULIO

Ther, What are you yelling for ?

Phaed, What did you lay hands on him for ?

Ther. Because I chose to.

Phaed, (aside) You come here^ Curculio. {aside to Thera-

pofUiganus) I'll put that fellow into your hands.

(to Curculio again) Be still I
Plan, (thinking that Phaedromus is yielding to the Captain)

Phaedromus ! for heaven s sake^ save me !
Phaed, As I would my very soul! (to Theraponiigonus,

poUiefy) Captain^ pray tell me where you got that

ring which the parasite here filched from you.
Plan, (falling at the Captain* s feet) I beg you by these

knees I clasp, do let me know !
Ther, (haughtily) How does that concern you two?

Come, ask me where I obtained my cloak and

this blade of mine.
Cure, {nursing his sore spots) The airs he gives himself,

the braggart !
Ther, Unhand that fellow, (indicating Curculio) and PU

tell you all.
Cure, All he tells you amounts to nothing.
Plan, (motioning Curculio aside) Do let me know, I beg

you !
Ther, (to Planesium) I will. Arise. Now then, attention,

both of you! It belonged to my father, Peri-

phanes

Plan. What? Periphanes !

Ther. Before he died he quite properly gave it to me, as

his own son.
Plan, Good heavens !
Ther, So he made me his heir.
Plan, Oh god of filial love, do keep me, for I have

loyally kept thee in honour ! (falling on ike

Captain's neck) Brother, my own dear brother !

s 2

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ther, Qui credam ego istuc ? cedo^

si vera memoras^ quae fuit mater tua ?
Plan, Cleobula.
Ther, Nutrix quae fuit ?

Plan. Archestrata.

ea me speetatum tulerat per Dionjsia. 644, 645

postquam illo ventum est, iam, ut me coUocaverat,

exoritur ventus turbo, spectacla ibi ruont,

ego pertimesco.^ ibi me nescio quis arripit

timidam atque pavidam, nee Tivam nee mortuam.

nee quo me pacto abstulerit possum dicere. 650

Ther. Memini istanc turbam fieri, sed tu die mihi,

ubi is est homo qui te surripuit ?
Plan. Nescio.

verum hunc servairi semper mecum una anulum ;

cum hoc olim perii.
Ther. Cedo, ut inspiciam.

Cure. Sanan es,

quae isti committas ?
Plan. Sine modo.

Ther. Pro luppiter,

hie est quem ego tibi misi natali die.

tam facile novi quam me. salve, mea soror.
Plan. Frater mi, salve.
Phaed. Deos volo bene vortere

istam rem vobis.
Cure. Et ego nobis omnibus :

tu ut hodie adveniens cenam des sororiam, 660

hie nuptialem eras dabit. promittimus.
Ther. Tace tu.
Cure. Non taceo, quando res vortit bene.

tu istanc desponde huic, miles, ego dotem dabo.
Ther. Quid dotis ?

^ Leo brackets following turn.
260

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CURCULIO

Ther. (startled) How am 1 to believe that ? Come, come,
if you say true, who was your mother ?

Plan. Qeobula.

Ther. And your nurse ?

Plan, Archestrata. She had taken me out to see the
show at the Dionysiac festival. We had scarcely
arrived, and I been put in my place, when a
perfect hurricane arose ; the seats caved in-^I
was so terrified I Then someone or other seized
me, scared and trembling as I was, neither alive
nor dead. How he carried me off I can't say.

Ther. I remember the panic of that day. But tell me
this — ^where is the man that stole you }

Plan, I don't know. But I have always kept this ring
{holding out her hand) with me ; I had it on when
I was lost, long ago.

Ther, Give it here I Let me look at it !

Cure, (as Planesium takes it off) Are you crazy, to trust
it to him }

Plan, Oh, let me be !

Ther, Great heavens ! This is the ring 1 sent you on
your birthday ! I know it as well as I know my-
self, {embracing her) Ah, my sister !

Plan, Oh, my own dear brother !

Phaed, God bless you both in this !

Cure, God bless us all, I say. {to Therapontigomis) You,
sir, should celebrate your arrival to-day by giving
us a dinner, a sororal dinner ; as for him, {indicating
Phaedromus) to-morrow he will give us a nuptial
dinner, {pauses) We accept the invitations.

Ther, Keep still, you I

Cure, I will not keep stiU, now that everything is end-
ing happily. Captain, promise your sister to this
gentleman. I wUl give her a dowry myself.

Ther. What dowry?

261

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Cure. Egone ? ut semper, dum vivat, me alat.

verum hercle dico.
Ther. Me lubente feceris.

sed leno hie debet nobis triginta minas.
Phaed. Quam ob rem istuc ?
Ther. Quia ille ita repromisit mihi :

si quisquam banc liberali asseruisset manu,

sine eontroversia onme argentum reddere.

nunc eamus ad lenonem.
Cure. Laudo.

Phaed. Hoc prius volo, 670

meam rem agere.
Ther, Quid id est?

Phaed. Vt mihi banc despondeas.

Cure. Quid cessas, miles, banc buic uxorem dare ?
Ther. Si baec volt.
Plan. Mi frater, cupio.

Ther. Fiat.

Cure. Bene facis.

Phaed. Spondesne, miles, mi banc uxorem }
Ther. Spondeo.

Cure. Et ego boc idem una spondeo.
Ther. Lepide facis.

sed cecum lenonem, incedit, tbensaurum meum.

V. 3.

Ca. Argentariis male credi qui aiunt, nugas praedicant.
nam et bene et male credi dico ; id adeo ego bodie

expertus sum. 680

non male creditur qui numquam reddunt, sed pror-

sum perit.
vel ille, decem minas dum solvit, onmis mensas

transiit.
postquam nil fit, clamore bominem posco. ille in

ius me vocat ;
^62

yGoogk

CURCULIO

Cure, I ? An allowance — I will allow her to support

me all her life. And by Jove, I mean it.
Thet\ (to CurcuUo) You will do me pleasure, (to others)

But the pimp here owes us one hundred and

twenty pounds.
Phaed, How so }
Ther, Because he engaged, for his part, in case anyone

claimed the girl as free born, to refund all the

money without dispute. Now to the pimp !
Cure, Capital !

Pha^d, But first I want to settle my own affair.
Ther, What is that }
Phajed, That you promise me your sister.
Cure, Hurry up. Captain, let him marry her.
Ther, If she wishes.
Plan, I long to, brother dear !
Ther, So be it.

Cure, (with dignity) I thank you.
Phaed, 'You consent to the marriage. Captain.'*
Ther, I consent.

Cure, And I — I consent to the arrangement, too.
Ther, Charming of you ! (looking donm street) But see !

Up strides the pimp, my treasure ! (they step

hack)

Scene 3. enter Cappadox.

Ca, People that say bankers are ill trusted talk rub-
bish. Why, they are well and ill trusted both, I
tell you — ^and what is more, I have proved it my-
self this very day. Money is not ill trusted to
men that never repay you; it is gone for
good. That Lyco, for example, in trying to raise
forty pounds for me, went to every single bank.
Nothing coming of it, I begin dunning him at
the top of my lungs. He summons me before the

263

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

pessume metui^ ne mihi hodie apud praetorem
solveret.

verum amici compulerunt ; reddit argentum domo.

nunc domum properare certumst.
Ther, Heus tu, leno, te volo.

Pkaed, Et ego te volo.

Ca, At ego vos nolo ambos.

Ther, Sta sis ilico,

atque argentum propere propera vomere.
Ca. Quid meeum est tibi ?

aut tibi ?
Ther. Quia ego ex te hodie fadam pilum cata-

pultarium

atque ita te nervo torquebo, itidem ut eatapultae
solent. 690

Pkaed, Delicatum te hodie faciam, cum catello ut accubes,

ferreo ego dico.
Ca. At ego vos ambo in robusto carcere

ut pereatis.
Pkaed, Coll um obstringe^ abduce istum in malam crucem .
Tker. Quidquid est, ipse ibit potius.
Ca, Pro deum atque hominum fidem,

hocine pacto indemnatum atque intestatum me
abripi ?

obsecro, Planesium, et te, Phaedrome, auxilium ut
feras.
Plan, Prater, obsecro te, noli hunc condemnatum perdere.

bene et pudice me domi habuit.
Tker, Haud voluntate id sua.

Aesculapio huic habeto, quom pudica es, gratiam ;

nam si valuisset, iam pridem quoquo posset mitt^ret, 7 00

264

yGoogk

CURCULIO

magistrate. I was horribly afraid he would settle
with me in court.^ But his friends coerced him,
and he paid me out of his own cash in hand.
Now I must hurry home, {goes toward his house)

Tker, (stepping forward) Ah there, pimp, I want you !

Phaed. {joining the Captain) And I want you.

Ca, {without stopping) But 1 want neither of you.

Ther, (menacingly) Stop there, please, and hurry up and
disgorge my money in a hurry.

Ca, (to Captain) What have you to do with me } (to
Phaedromus) Or you ?

Tker, This — ^to-day I intend to transform you into a
catapeltic arrow, and send you spinning like a
missile from a catapult.

Phaed. And to-day I intend to make quite a fop of you
and make you sleep with a little dog — I mean
dog-chain.

Ca, Yes, and I intend to put you both in a good stout
cell to rot.

Phaed. Get him by the neck ! Off to the gallows with him 1

Thei\ (seizing Cappadox roughly) He will prefer to go of
his own accord, come what may.

Ca. (struggling) In the name of heaven and earth !
Dragged off in this fashion, with no sentence,
no witnesses against me ! Planesium — and you,
Phaedromus — for mercy's sake, help me !

Plants Brother, I beg you ! don't let him be condemned
and ruined ! I was well used, treated modestly,
at his house.

Ther. Through no choice of his. You can thank Aescu-
lapius here for that ; for if he had been healthy,
he would have packed you off anywhere he could,
long ago.

^ Where by fraudulent means Lyco would escape

payment,

265

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pkaed. Animum advortite, ego si possum hoc inter vos
componere.

mitte istunc. accede hue, leno. dicam meam sen-
tentiam,

siquidem voltis quod decrero facere.
Tker. Tibi permittimus.

Ca. Dum quidem hercle ita iudices, ne quisquam a me

argentum auferat.
Tker. Quodne promisti ?
Ca, Qui promisi ?

Pkaed. Lingua.

Ca. Eadem nunc nego.

dicendi, non rem perdendi gratia haec nata est
mihi.
Pkaed. Nihil agit, coUum obstringe hominL
Ca. lam iam faciam ut iusseris.

Tker. Quando vir bonus es, responde quod rogo.
Ca. Roga quod lubet.

Tker. Promistin, si liberali quisquam banc assereret manu ,

te omne argentum redditurum ?
Ca. Non commemini dicere. 710

Tker. Quid ? negas ?

Ca. Nego hercle vero. quo praesente ? quo in loco ?

Tker. Me ipso praesente et Lycone tarpezita.
Ca. Non taces ?

Tker. Non taceo.

Ca. Non ego te flocci facio ; ne me territes.

Tker. Me ipso praesente et Lycone factum est.
Pkaed. Satis credo tibi.

nunc adeo, ut tu scire possis, leno, meam sen-
tentiam :

libera haec est, hie huius frater est, haec autem
illius soror,^

* Corrupt (Leo) : libera haec, hie huiua frater eat, haec
atUem huius est aoror Leo.
^G6

yGoogk

CURCULIO

(to the Captain and Cappadox) Give me your atten-
tion and let me see if I can settle your difficulties.
{to Captain) Let go of him. (TkerapofUigonus does
so) Come here, pimp. FU state my opinion, that
is, if you both are willing to accept my verdict.

We leave it to you

That is, provided — Lord, yes ! — provided you de-
cide no one is to get away with my money.
Money you promised }
Promised ? How ?
With your tongue.

I now deny it the same way. This tongue was
given me to talk with, not to ruin myself with.
It's no use. Get him by the neck.
(as Therapontigonus advances) Here, here. Til do
as you say !

Now that you are decent, answer me what I ask.
{suUenly) Ask what you like.

Did you not promise that, if anyone claimed this
girl as free, you would reftmd all the money ?
(tentative^) I don't recollect saying that.
What ? You deny it ?

(gaining courage) Yes, by gad, I do deny it. In
whose presence } Where ?
In my presence and in banker Lyco's.
Hold your tongue, will you ?
I will not.

I don't care a straw for you, not I. You needn't
try to scare me.

(to Phaedromus) In my own presence and Lyco's
he did make that promise.

I believe you fully, (judicially) Now, see here,
pimp, to inform you of my opinion : this girl is
free, this gentleman {indicating Therapontigonus) is
her brother, she being his sister and about to be

267

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

haec mihi nubet; tu huic arge^tum redde. hoc
iudicium meum est.
Ther, Tu autem in nervo iam iacebis, nisi mi argentum

redditur.
Ca. Hercle istam rem iudieasti perfidiose^ Phaedrome.

et tibi oberit et te^ miles^ di deaeque perduint. 720

tu me sequere.
Ther, Quo sequar te ?

Ca. Ad trapezitam meum

ad praetorem. nam inde rem solvo omnibus quibus
debeo.
Ther, Ego te in nervom, baud ad praetorem hinc rapiam^

ni argentum refers.
Ca, Ego te vehementer perire eupio, ne tu ^ nescias.
Ther, Itane vero ?
Ca, Ita hercle vero.

Ther, Novi ego hos pugnos meos.

Ca, Quid tum }
Ther, Quid tum, rogitas ? hisce ego, si tu me irritaveris,

placidum te hodie reddam.
Ca, Age ergo, recipe actutum.

Ther, Licet.

Phased, Tu, miles, apud me cenabis. hodie fient nuptiae.
Ther. Quae res bene vortat mi et vobis.

spectatores, plaudite.

* Leo brackets following me.

268

yGoogk

CURCULIO

my wife ; do you refund his money. This is my
decision.

Yes, and you will soon make your bed in gaol,
unless my money is refunded.
{ireful) By gad, Phaedromus, you have been a
rotten judge ! You shall rue it, too, and as for
you. Captain, may all the powers above destroy
you ! {turning to go) Follow me, you.
Follow you where }

To my banker's, to the court ! Yes, sir, there is
where I settle with all my creditors.
It will be to gaol, not to court I drag you, unless
you refund my money.

I hope to heaven you come to a bad end — and
now you know my feelings !
So.> Indeed?
Yes, by gad, so indeed.

(baring has arms) I do know these fists of mine.
{less vigorously) What then ?
"What then," eh? Provoke me, and they will
pacify you, my man, right speedily, {advances)
{as Phaedromus, too, looks threatening) Come on,
then, take your money, quick !
(grandly, accepting it) Very well.
Captain, you will dine with me. The wedding
takes place to-day.

And may it turn out well for me and for both
of you ! {to audience) Spectators, your applause.

[exeunt omnes.

269

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EPIDICUS

yGoogk

ARGVMENTVM

Emit fidicmam, filiam credens, senex
Persuasu servi, atque conductam ^
Iterum pro arnica ei subiecit filii.
Dat erili argentum. eo sororem destinat
Imprudens iuvenis. compressae ac militis
Cognoscit opera sibi senex os sublitum —
Vt ille amicam, haec quaerebat filiam —
Sed inventa gnata servolum emittit manu.

* Corrupt (Leo) : conductam {alteram) Leo.

PERSONAE

EPIDICVS SERVVS

THESPRIO SERVVS

STRATIPPOCLES ADVLESCENS

CHAERIBVLVS ADVLESCENS

PERIPHANES SENEX

APOECIDES SENEX

FIDICINA

MILES

PHILIPPA MVLIER

ACROPOLISTIS FIDICINA

DANISTA

TELESTIS VIRGO

272

yGoogk

ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY

At the instance of his slave an old gentleman
buys a music girl, believing her to be his daughter,
and again this slave gulls him by palming off as
his son's mistress a girl hired for the occasion.
He gives the money to his master's son. With it
the young man purchases his own sister, quite
unwittingly. The old gentleman, by the help
of a woman he had wronged and of a soldier — the
one was searching for his mistress, the other for
her child — ^learns that he has been played upon,
but on finding his daughter he gives the tricky
slave his freedom.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Epidicus, slave of Periphanes,
Thksprio, orderly to Stratippocles.
Stratippocles, son of Periphanes. '
Chaeribulus, a young gentleman of Athens, friend

of Stratippocles,
Periphanes, an old gentleman of Athene.
Apoecides, an old gentleman, friend of Periphanes,

A MUSIC GIRL.
A CAPTAIN.

Philippa, a woman of Epidaurus.
AcROPOLisTis, a music girl.
A USURER, of Thebes.
Telestis, daughter of Philippa.

273

VOL. II. T

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ACTVS I

Ep,

Heus, adulescens.

Th.

Quis properantem me reprehendit pallio ?

Ep,

Familiaris.

Th,

Fateor, nam odio es nimium familiariter.

Ep.

Respice vero, Thesprio.

Th,

Oh,

Epidicumne ego conspicor ?

Ep.

Satis reete oeulis uteris.

Th.

Salve.

Ep.

Di dent quae velis.

venire salvom gaudeo.

Th.

Quid ceterum ?

Ep.

Quod eo adsolet :

cena tibi dabitur.

Th.

Spondee.

Ep.

Quid—

Th.

Me aceepturum, si dabis.

Ep.

Quid tu agis ? ut vales ? exemplum adesse intel-

lego. euge.

eorpulentior videre atque habitior.

Th,

Huic gratia.

274

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EPIDICUS

Scene : — Athens. A street in which stand the adjoimng
houses of Periphanes and Chaerihulvs.

ACT I

ENTER, AT DOUBLE QUICK, Thesptio, IN A SLAVE's

MILITARY COSTUME, AND LADEN WITH A BULGING

KNAPSACK AND WALLET; FOLLOWED BY EpidicUSy WHO

CATCHES UP WITH HIM AND SEIZES HIS CLOAK.

Ep. {imperiously) Hi there, young fellow !

Th, (petulantly, without turning his head) Who's that

clinging to my cloak when Vm in a hurry ?
Ep, One of the family.
TL No doubt — the way you bother me is deucedly

familiar.
Ep, Come, come, Thesprio, look behind you.
7'A. (surveying him phlegmaiically) Oh, is this Epidicus

I perceive ?
Ep. Your eyesight is quite passable.
Th. Good day to you.
Ep. (nonchalantly) CJod grant your wishes. Glad you

are safely back.
Th. What else ?

Ep. The usual thing — ^you shall be given a dinner.
Th. I agree.

Ep. What

Th. (interrupting) To accept — ^if you invite me.

Ep. What about yourself ? Are you well ? (scanning

him) I see proof of that before me. (poking his ribs)

Splendid ! You seem quite plump and portly.
Th. (mth an approving grin at his left ^ hand) Thanks

to this.

^ Often spoken of as the pilfering hand.

275
T 2

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep, Quam quidem te iam diu

perdidisse oportuit. Ha

Th. Minus iam furtificus sum quam antehac.
Ep, Quidita?

Th, Rapio propalam.

Ep. Di immortales te infelicent, ut tu es gradibus
grandibus.
nam ut apud portum te conspexi, eurrieulo occepi

sequi ;
vix adipiscendi potestas modo fuit.
2% Scurra es.

Ep, Scio

te esse equidem hominem militarem.
Th. Audacter quam vis dicito.

quid ais ? perpetuen valuisti ?
Ep. Varie.

Th. Qui varie valent,

capreaginum hominum non placet mihi neque pan-
therinum genus.
Ep. Quid tibi vis dieam nisi quod est ? ut illae res ?

responde.
Th. Probe.

Ep. Quid erilis noster filius ?

Th. Valet pugiliee atque athletice. 20

Ep. Voluptabilem mihi nuntium tuo adventu adportas,
Thesprio.
sed ubist is ?
Th, Advenit simul.

Ep. Vbi is ergo est ? nisi si in vidulo

aut si in mellina attulisti.
Th. Di te perdant.

Ep. Te volo—

pereontari. operam da, opera reddetur tibi.
Th. lus dicis.

276

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EPIDICUS

Ep. (severeUf) Which is something you should have
parted with long ago.

Th. (viriwmsU/) I'm not such a thief as I used to be.

Ep, How is that ?

Th, (chuckling) Vm a highway robber.

Ep, The everlasting powers blight you, such stupendous
strides as you take I Why, when I spied you at the
harbour I began to race ajfter you, but it was only
just now that I barely managed to overtake you.

Th, (preening himself) Oh, you're a city chap.

Ep, (^pretending to he afraid of Thesprio) And you, you
are certainly a military man, I see that.

Th, (missing the point) You may say that boldly as you
please. Well ? Enjoyed good health all this
time, have you ?

Ep. (ca^suaUy) Oh, checkered.

Th. (examining EpuUcuss shoulders for whip marks)
Folks of checkered health — ^your goatish or your
panther-like ^ variety — I can't abide.

Ep. What do you want from me but facts ? How
about the campaign } Speak up.

Th. First rate.

Ep. And our young master ?

Th. In fighting trim, fit as an athlete.

Ep. ' This is blissful news your arrival brings me,
Thesprio. But where is he ?

Th, He arrived when I did.

Ep. Then where is he ? Unless you maybe brought
him in your wallet or in your marten-skin knap-
sack.

Th. You be damned I

Ep. You be— -communicative. Come, favour me and
the favour will be returned.

Th, (appromngly) You speak like a judge !

^ With mottled backs, as from blows.

277

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep.

Me decet.

Th.

lam tu autem nobis praeturam geris ?

Ep.

Quern dices digniorem esse hominem hodie Athenis
alterum ?

Th.

At unum a praetura tua,
Epidice, abest.

Ep.

Quidnam ?

Th.

Scies :
lictores duo^ duo ulmei
fasces virgarum.

Ep.

Vae tibi.
sed quid ais ?

Th.

Quid rogas ?

Ep.

Vbi arma sunt Stratippocli ?

Th.

Pol ilia ad hostis transfugerunt.

Ep.

Armane ?

Th.

Atque equidem cito.

Ep.

Serione dicis tu ?

Th.

Serio, inquAm. hostes habent.

Ep.

Edepol facinus improbum.

Th.

At iam ante alii fecerunt idem,
erit illi ilia res honori.

Ep.

Qui?

Th.

Quia ante aliis fuit.
Mulciber, credo, arma fecit quae habuit Stratip-

pocles :
travolaverunt ad hostis.

Ep.

Turn ille prognatus Theti
sine perdat ; alia apportabunt ei Nerei filiae.
id modo videndum est, ut materies suppetat scu-

tariis,
si in singulis stipendiis is ad hostis exuvias daMt.

* Used for whips.

^ Probtil^y 4a aUhsIqh to the famous esMses of Archilochus
278

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EPIDICUS

Ep. (primfy) The proper thing for me !

Th. (contempliiotufy) What^ do jou already liold the

praetorship ?
Ep, Who in all Athens is better qualified to hold it^

should jou saj ?
Th, Well^ Epidicus^ there's one thing missing from

your praetorship.

So? What?

ril tell you : two lictors and two bundles of rods^

elms.^
Ep. Be hanged to you ! (pausing) But I say I
Tk. Well, say what?
Ep, Where are the arms of Stratippocles ?
Th, Gad ! they deserted to the enemy.
Ep. His arms ?
Th. Yes, and in a hurry, too.
Ep. Are you speaking seriously ?
Th. Seriously, yes. The enemy have them.
Ep, By gad ! Disgraceful !
Th, Well, others have done the same before now.

The circumstance will bring him honour.
Ep, How ?
Th, Because that's been the result in previous cases.'

I fancy Vulcan ' made the arms Stratippocles had :

they fairly flew to the enemy.
Ep, Then let him lose them — ^the son of Thetis ! The

Nereids will bring him some more. Only he

must take care the shield makers have plenty of

raw material, if he intends to present the enemy

with spoils on each campaign.

(CroBiiis, Fr. 5 : ii^wlhi fihy Hatvu ris iyi^AAcTcu) and of Al-
caeus (Strsbo, 13, 38 : *A\Kdios a6os, "Apti fvrta), imitated
bj' Horace {Od, 2. 7. 10 : relicia rum bene parmvla).

' Vulcan's work often possessed maffic properties. Tiie
allusion is to the arms of^ Achilles. <^ //mm xviii. 466 ff.

279

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Th, Supersede istis rebus iam.

Ep. Tu ipse, ubi lubet, finem face.

Th, Desiste jmrcontarier.

Ep, Loquereipse. ubist Stratippocles ? 40

Th. Est causa qua causa simul mecum ire veritust.

Ep, Quidnam id est ?

Th. Patrem videre se nevolt etiam nunc.

Ep. Quapropter ?

Th. Scies.

quia forma lepida et liberali captivam adulescen-
tulam

de praeda mercatust.
Ep. Quid ego ex te audio ?

Th. Hoc quod fabulor.

Ep. Cur earn emit ?
Th. Animi causa.

Ep. Quot ilbc homo animos habet ?

nam certo, prius quam hinc ad legionem

abiit domo,
ipsus mandavit mi, ab lenone ut fidicina,

quam amabat, emeretur sibi. id ei impetratum
reddidi.
Th. Vtcumque in alto ventust, Epidice, exim velum

vortitur.
Ep. Vae misero mihi, male perdidit me.

Th. Quidistuc? quidnam est? 50

Ep. Quid istanc quam emit, quanti cam emit ?
Th. Vili.

Ep. Haud istuc te rogo.

Th. Quidigitur.^

Ep. Quot minis ?

Th. Tot— quadraginta minis.

id adeo argentum ab danista apud Thebas sumpsit
faenore,

in dies minasque argenti singulas nummis.

280

yGoogk

EPIDICUS

Th, Enough of this chaffing now.

Ep. End it yourself, when you please.

Th, Stop asking questions.

Ep. Talk yourself, then. Where is Stratippocles .''

Th, {airily) There's a reason^ by reason of which he
was afraid to come along with me.

Ep, Eh.> What is this .J^

Th. He doesn't care to see his father just at present.

Ep. Why not }

Th, I'll tell you. Because from the booty that was
taken he bought a lovely, ladylike young miss.

Ep. (losing his usual coolness) What's this I hear ?

Th, The tale I'm telling.

Ep. Why did he buy her ?

Th. She won his heart.

Ep. How many hearts has that fellow got.'* Why,
before he went away from here to the army, he
certainly commissioned me himself to go to a
pimp and buy him a music girl he was in love
with. This commission I executed for him.

Th, The seaman sets his sails to suit the wind,
Epidicus.

Ep. Dash my luck ! He's done for me in nice
style !

Th. What's that } What on earth's the matter }

Ep. (musing) The girl he bought — how much did she
cost ?

Th. He got her cheap.

Ep. I am not asking you that.

Th. What, then?

Ep. How many pounds ^

Th, (counting on his fingers) So many — one hundred
and sixty. Yes, and he got the cash from a
money-lender at Thebes on interest — two per
cent, a day.

281

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep, Papae.

Th, Et is danista advenit una cum eo, qui argentum

petit.
Ep. Di immortales^ ut ego interii basilice.
Th. Quid iam ? aut quid est,

Epidice ?
Ep, Perdidit me.

Th. Quis.?

Ep. lUe qui arma perdidit.

Th. Nam quid ita ?

Ep. Quia cottidie ipse ad me ab legione epistulas

mittebat — sed taceam optumum est,
plus scire satiust quam loqui servom hominem.
ea sapientia est. 60

Th. Nescio edepol quid tu timidus es, trepidas, Epidice,
ita voltum tuom ^
videor videre commeruisse hie me absente in te
aliquid mab.
Ep. Potin ut molestus ne sies }
Th. Abeo.

Ep. Asta, abire hinc non sinam.

Th. Quid nunc me retines ?

Ep. Amatne istam quam emit de praeda t

Th. Rogas ?

deperit.
Ep. Detegetur corium de tergo meo.*^

Th. Plusque amat quam te umquam amavit.
Ep. luppiter te perduit,

Th. Mitte nunciam,

nam ille me vetuit domum
venire, ad Chaeribulum iussit hue in prox-
umum;
ibi manere iussit, eo venturust ipsus.

^ Corrupt (Leo) : in voltu tuo Leo.
2 Corrupt (Leo) : ^^etur {igitur) Leo,

yGoogk

EPIDICUS

Ep. Whew I

Th. And this money-lender's come along with him

looking for his cash.
Ep, Ye immortal gods ! This puts a right royal end

tome.
Th. What now ? What's wrong, Epidicus ?
Ep, He has done for me.
Th, Who ?

Ep. The man that did for his arms.
Th. Why, how so ?
Ep. Because he used to send me letters from the

army every day — {aside) but best keep my mouth

shut. A mere slave had better know too much

than say too much. That is prudence, (paces

hack and forth cogitating)
Th. By Jove, Epidicus, you are in a fright and flurry

over something; judging from your expression,

1 judge you've got into some scrape here in my

absence.
Ep, (still thinking) Can you contrive not to be a

nuisance }
Th. I'm going, (moves away)
Ep, (seizing his arm) Stop ! You must not go.
Th. What are you holding me for ?
Ep. Does he love that captive he bought }
Th. Love her ? He's daft over her.
Ep. (aside, with sober conviction^ My back is going to

lose its skin roof,
7'h, He loves her more than he ever loved you.
Ep. Blast you !
Th. Let me go at once. You see, he told me not to go

home ; said I was to go to Chaeribulus's, next door

here. I'm to wait there, and he's coming there

himself.

283

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep, Quid ita ?

Th, Dicam :

quia patrem prius convenire se non volt neque

conspicari^ 70

quam id argentum, quod debetur pro ilia, denu-
raeraverit.
Ep, Eu edepol res turbulentas.

Th, Mitte me ut earn nunciam.

Ep. Haecine ubi scibit senex,

puppis pereunda est probe.
Th, Quid istuc ad me attinet,

quo tu intereas modo ?
Ep, Quia perire solus nolo, te eupio perire mecum,

benevolens cum benevolente.
Th, Abi in malam rem maxumam a me

cum istac condicione.
Ep, I sane, siquidem festinas magis.

7%. Numquam hominem quemquam conveni, unde

abierim lubentius. 80

Ep, Illic hinc abiit. solus nunc es. quo in loco haec
res sit vides,
Epidice: nisi quid tibi in tete auxili est, ab-

sumptus es.
tantae in te impendent ruinae ; nisi suffulcis firmiter,
non potes subsistere, itaque in te inruont montes
mali.

neque ego nunc

quo modo
me expeditum ex impedito faciam, consilium placet,
ego miser

perpuli
meis dolis senem, ut censeret suani sese emere
filiam ;

is suo
filio
284

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EPIDICUS

Ep, Why so ?

Tk, This is why — ^because he doesn't want his father
to meet him or spy him before he's paid up what
he owes for that girl.

Ep, Heigh-ho ! By gad, this is a pretty mess.

Th. Have done with me and let me go at once.

Ep. (^(f <o himself) When the old man hears of this,
Tm going to be an absolute wreck astern !

Th. What's the odds to me how you expire }

Ep. This: I dislike to sink alone and yearn to have
you sink with me — ^two devoted friends together.

Th. Leave me alone, and go to the devil along with
that proposal of yours !

Ep. (potiiely) Do go, by all means, if you really are in
such a hurry.

Th. {making for Chaerihuinus door) I never met any
man I was gladder to get away from. [exit.

Ep. (looking after him) The fellow's gone, (meditating)
Here you are alone, my lad. Vou see the
situation, Epidicus : unless you have some strength
within you, your hour has come. Above your
head is a great big tottering mass; unless you
prop it up firmly, you'll not be able to keep your
feet, with such mountains of misery toppling down
on you. Not a decent idea have I now how to
untangle myself from the tangle. I have cajoled
the old man — ^worse luck ! — ^into believing he was
bu3ring his own daughter ; what he did buy was
a music girl for his own son, a girl my master

285

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

fidicinam emit^ quam ipse amat^ quam abiens man-
davit mihi. 90
si sibi nunc

alteram
ab legione adduxit animi causa^ corium perdidi. 91a

nam ubi senex

senserit
sibi data esse verba, virgis dorsum despoliet meum.
at enim tu

praecave.
at enim — bat enim, nihil est istuc. plane hoc
corruptumst caput.

nequam homo es,

Epidice.
qui lubidost male loqui ? 97

quia tu tete deseris.
quid faciam ?

men rogas ?
tu quidem antehac aliis solebas dare consilia mutua.
aliquid aliqua reperiundumst. sed ego cesso ire

obviam 1 00

adulescenti, ut quid negoti sit sciam. atque ipse

illic est.
tristis est. cum Chaeribulo incedit aequali suo.
hue concedam, orationem unde horum placide
persequar.

I. 2.

St7\ Rem tibi sum elocutus omnem, Chaeribule, atque

admodum

meorum maerorum atque amorum summam edic-

tavi tibi.

Chaer, Praeter aetatem et virtutem stultus es, Stratippocles.

idne pudet te, quia captivam genere prognatam

bono
286

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EPIDICUS

loved and consigned to me when he left. If he
has brought back from the army now another
wench that has won his heart, I have lost my
hide. For let the old man find out he was fooled,
and he will strip my dorsal regions with a stick.
(pausing) Oh well, be on your guard, my lad.
{after a moment* s thought, disgustedly) "Oh well '* —
oh hell ! It's no use ! This head of mine is ab-
solutely addled. You good-for-nothing, Epidicus !
(pausing) Why should I enjoy abusing myself?
(answering in another tone) Because you leave your-
self in the lurch. What shall I do ? Do you ask
me ? Why, you're the man that before this used to
lend counsel to other folks. Some scheme must
be found somewhere. But I must hurry up and
meet my young sir and learn how matters stand.
{glancing down the street) Ah, there he is himself !
He looks glum. Paces slowly on with his mate
Chaeribulus. (withdrawing into the doorway) 1*11
step back here where I can follow their remarks
at my ease.

Scene 2. enter Stratippocles and Chaeribulus,

Str, (dolefulfy) I've told you the whole story, Chaeri-
bulus, and stated to you the sum total of my
afflictions and affections.

Chaer. (cheerfully) Stratippocles, you're more of a fool
than even your youth and valour give you a right
to be. Ashamed because you've bought a well-

287

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

de praeda es mercatus? quis erit> vitio quid id

vortat tibi ?

Str. Qui invident omnes inimicos mi illoc facto repperi ;

at pudicitiae eius numquam nee vim nee vitium

attuli. 110

Chaer, lam istoc probior^ meo quidem animo^ eum in

amore temperes.
Str. Nihil agit qui diffidentem verbis solatur suis ;

is est amieus, qui in re dubia re iuvat, ubi rest opus.
Chaer, Quid tibi me vis faeere ?

Str, Argenti dare quadraginta minas,

quod danistae detur^ unde ego illud sumpsi faenore.
Chaer, Si hercle haberem^ —

Str, Nam quid te igitur retulit

benefieum esse oratione, si ad rem awdlium emor-
tuom est ?
Chaer, Quin edepol egomet elamore difFeror, diflBagitor.
Str, Malim istius modi mihi amieos fumo mersos quam
foro.
sed operam Epidici nune me emere pretio pretioso

velim. 120

quem quidem ego hominem irrigatum plagis pistori

dabo^

nisi bodie prius eomparassit mihi quadraginta minas^

quam argenti fuero eloeutus ei postremam syllabam.

Ep, Salva res est : bene promittit, spero servabit fid em.

sine meo sumptu paratae iam sunt scapulis sym-

bolae.
aggrediar hominem. ad venientem peregre erum ^

Stratippoclem
impertit salute servos Epidicus.
Sir, Vbiisest?

^ Leo brackets following es,

* Leo notes lacuna here : haberem {poUicerer) Mueller.
^ Leo brackets following suom,
288

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EPIDICUS

bom captive lass from amongst the booty ? Who
will there be to turn that to your discredit ?

Sir. Everyone that envies me has been made my
enemy by it ; but never a thing have I done to
outrage or sully her innocence.

Ckaer. Then the more credit to you, say I, for controlling
yourself when in love.

Sir. (j^emshly) It does no good to offer a fellow in
distress consoling words ; his real friend in a pinch
is a friend in deed, when deeds are needed.

Chaer. What do you want me to do ?

Str. To give me a hundred and sixty pounds to give
the money-lender from whom I got that sum at
interest.

Chaer. By Jove, if I had it -

Str, Well, then, what was the use of being bountiful
in talk, if all real help was dead in you ?

Chaer. But, good heavens, Fm harassed, hounded, by
duns myself!

Str. (still sour) Friends ot your sort I'd rather see in
blazes than in bankruptcy. Ah, Td be willing to
pay a pretty price for Epidicus's assistance now.
ril have that fellow flogged till he's irrigated,
and then sent to the mill, unless he gets me a
hundred and sixty pounds to-day before the last
syllable of the sum has left my lips.

Ep. (aside, dryly) Saved ! A pleasant promise, and
one he means to keep, I trust. Here's a picnic
prepared for my shoulder-blades perfectly free of
charge. I'll to him. (aloud, from the doorway,
with mock courtliness) To master Stratippocles
returning from abroad best wishes are extended
by servant Epidicus, sir.

Str. (^looking about) Epidicus } Where ?

289

VOL. 11

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep, Adest.

salvom hue advenisse —
Str, Tarn tibi istuc credo quam mihi.

Ep. Benene usque valuisti ?

sir, A morbo valui, ab animo aeger fui.

Ep. Quod ad me attinuit, ego curavi ; quod mandavisti

mihi 130

impetratum est^ empta ancilla^ quod tute ad me

litteras
missiculabas.
Str, Perdidisti omnem operam.

Ep, Nam qui perdidi ?

Str, Quia meo neque eara est cordi neque placet.
Ep. Quid retulit

mihi tanto opere te mandare et mittere ad me
epistulas ?
Str. Illam amabam olim^ nunc iam alia cura impendet

pectori.
Ep, Hercle miserum est ingratum esse homini id quod
facias bene,
ego quod bene feci male feci, quia amor mutavit
locum.
Str. Desipiebam mentis, cum ilia scripta mittebam tibi.
Ep, Men piacularem oportet fieri ob stultitiam tuam,
ut meum tergum tuae stultitiae subdas succi-

daneum ? 1 40

Str, Quid istic.'* verba facimus. huic homini opust
quadraginta minis
celeriter calidis, danistae quas resolvat, et cito.
Ep, Die modo unde auferre me vis. a quo trapezita

peto-f*
Str, Vnde libet. nam ni ante solem occasum e ^ loculis
adferes,

^ e loctdis adferea Lindsay : do MSS.

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EPIDICUS

Ep, (stepping out) Present. Your safe return is

Str. I believe you in that as I would myself.

Ep, Have you been well, sir, to date ?

Str, In body, yes, but Fve been sick at heart.

Ep. 1 have attended to my part of the case, sir ; your

commission is executed, the slave girl you yourself

were for ever writing about is bought.
Str. All your labour has been lost.
Ep, (apparently amazed) Lost ? How ?
Str, Because I don't care about her and she doesn't

suit me.
Ep, What was the point of your giving me such urgent

orders and sending me letters ?
Str. I loved her, then ; (languishingly) now, now,

another love o'erhangs my heart.
Ep, (with feeling) By Jove, it is hard when you do a

man a good turn and get no thanks for it. Here

is my good turn turned bad, all because your love

has shifted.
Str. I was off my head when I kept sending you those

letters.
Ep, And should I be the victim because you were a

fool, and let you substitute my back as a sacrifice

to your folly ?
Str. (hnpatient) Come, come ! this is mere chatter. I

am a man that needs a hundred and sixty pounds

piping hot, in a hurry, to pay off a money-lender,

and no time to lose.
Ep, (sarcastically) Simply say where you wish me to

get them. What banker shall I go to ?
Str, Where you please. For unless you bring them

291
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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

meam domum ne inbitas : tu te in pistrinum con-
feras.^
Ep, Facile tu istuc sine periclo et cura, corde libero

fabulare ; novi ego nostros : mihi dolet cum ego
vapulo.
Str, Quid tu nunc ? patierin ut ego me interimam ?
Ep, Ne feceris.

ego istuc accedam periclum potius atque auda-
ciam.
Sir, Nunc places, nunc ego te laudo.

Ep, Patiar ego istuc quod lubet. 1 50

Str, Quid ilia fiet fidicina igitur ?
Ep, Aliqua res reperibitur,

aliqua ope exsolvar, extricabor aliqua.
Str. Plenus consili es.

novi ego te.
Ep. Est Euboicus miles locuples, multo auro potens,

qui ubi tibi istam emptam esse scibit atque banc

adductam alteram,
continuo te orabit ultro ut illam tramittas sibi.
sed ubi ilia est quam tu adduxisti tecum .'*
Sir, lam faxo hie erit.

Chaer. Quid hie nunc agimus .'*
Str. Eamus intro hue ad te, ut hunc hodie diem

luculentum habeamus.
Ep, Ite intro, ego de re argentaria

iam senatum convocabo in corde consiliarium,
quoi potissimum indicatur bellum unde argentum

auferam. l60

Epidice, vide quid agas, ita res subito haec obiec-

tast tibi ;
non enim nunc tibi dormitandi neque cunctandi
copia est ;

* {co^nferas) Lindsay.

292

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EPIDICUS

from their coffers before sunset, you needn't enten
my house — hie yourself off to the mill.

Ep, {indignant) Easy enough for you to run on like
that, with no danger and worry, nothing on your
mind! But I, I know our folks — it hurts me
when I get thrashed.

Sir, {pathetically) What then } Will you suffer me to
destroy myself ?

Ep, (^patronizingly) No, not that. I'd sooner assume
the risk myself — as well as the nerve !

Str, That's a good fellow, that's the way to act !

Ep, {warming up) I will suffer whatever comes.

sir. What' 11 be done with that music girl, then ?

Ep, {easily) Some way shall be found ; I will escape
by some means, extricate myself somehow.

Str, You're full of ideas ! I know you !

Ep, There is a rich Captain from Euboea, with no end
of money, and the moment he learns you bought
this girl there {pointing to the home) and have
brought along that other one, he will come him-
self and beg you to pass the first one over to him.
But where is that lady you brought home with
you ?

Str. She'll soon be here, I warrant.

Chaer, What are we to do here now }

Str, Let's go over to your house and make this a gala
day. [exeunt Chaerihulus and Stratippocles.

Ep, (as they disappear) Yes, go in ; as for myself, I will
now summon the senate inside my chest to con-
sider matters of finance and decide who is the best
party to declare war against and get money from.
{after rejlection) Look sharp, now, Epidicus, with
such a sudden duty devolving upon you. I tell
you what, there's no chance now for you to nap

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

^deundumst. senem oppugnare certumst con-
silium mihi.
i abi intro atque adulescenti die iam nostro erili filio,
lie hine foras ambulet neve usquam obviam veniat
seni.

ACTVS II

Ap. Plerique homines,

quos cum nil refert pudet^
ubi pudendum est

ibi cos deserit pudor,
quom usus est ut pudeat.
is adeo tu es. quid est quod pudendum siet,
gen ere natam bono

pauperem domum 1 70

ducere te uxorem ? 1 70a

praesertim eam, qua ex tibi commemores

banc quae domist
filiam prognatam.
Pet\ Revereor filium.

Ap. At pol ego te credidi

uxorem, quam tu extulisti, pudore exsequi,
cuius quotiens sepulcrum vides, sacruficas
ilico Oreo hostiis, neque adeo iniuria,
quia licitumst eam tibi vivendo vincere.
Per. Oh,

Hercules ego fui, dum ilia mecum fuit ;
neque sexta aerumna acerbior Herculi, quam ilia
mihi obiectast.
Ap. Fulcra edepol dos pecuniast.
Per. Quae quidem pol non maritast. 1 80

294.

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EPIDICUS

or hesitate. Forward ! I'll storm the old man —
my resolve is fixed. Off, be off inside with you,
Epidicus, and tell the young master not to saunter
out of the house here or cross the old chap's path
anywhere. [exit into house of Chaerihulus.

ACT II

ENTER Apoecides and Peripkanes

Ap. Most men that feel ashamed when there's no
occasion for it, lose the feeling when they should
have it, when shame is quite appropriate. And
upon my word, you're one of them. What is
there to be ashamed of in your marrying a poor
woman that comes of good family } Especially
when you tell me she's the woman that bore you
this daughter of yours.

Per. I respect my son's feelings.

Ap. {laughing) Well, by gad I I supposed you were
ashamed at the thought of your defunct wife,
whose tomb you never see without offering victims
to Pluto — and so you should, too, for having been
allowed to get the better of her, in length
of days.

Per. {wryly) Oh, I was a Hercules while she was with
me ! His sixth ^ labour was no heavier than the
labour I was subjected to.

Ap. Lord, man, a fat dowry is good money.

Per. Gad, yes, if it comes without the wife.

* One is tempted to see here an allusion to Hercules'
subjection to women, and particularly to Omphale.
Kiessling {Rh. M. xxiii. 418) urged that this is ope of the
many cases where Plautus uses * ' sixth " causa exempli.

295

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II. 2

Ep. St,

tacete, habete animum bonum.
liquido exeo foras auspicio,

avi sinistra ;
acutum cultrum habeo, senis qui exenterem mar-
suppium.

sed eccum ipsum ante aedis conspicor cum *

Apoecide 1 84, 1 85

qualis volo vetulos duo.
iam ego me convortam in hirudinem atque eorum
exsugebo sanguinem,

senati qui columen cluent.^
Ap. Continuo ut maritus fiat.

Per. Laudo consilium tuom. 189, 190

nam ego ilium audivi in amorem haerere apud

nescio quam fidicinam,
id ego excrucior.
Ep, Di hercle omnis me adiu van t augent aman t.

ipsi hi quidem mihi dant viam, quo pacto ab se

argentum auferam.
age nunciam orna te, Epidice, et palliolum in collum

conice
itaque adsimulato quasi per urbem totam hominem

quaesiveris.
age, si quid agis. di immortales, utinam con-

veniam domi
Periphanem, per omnem urbem quem sum defessus

quaerere :
per medicinas, per tonstrinas, in gymnasio atque

in foro,
per myropolia et lanienas circumque argentarias.
rogitando sum raucus factus, paene in cursu concidi. 200

* (cum) Apoecide Leo. ^ Leo notes lacuna here^

296

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EPIDICUS

Scene 2. enter Epidicus into the doorway of

Chaerihulus' s house

*p. {to Stratippocles and Chaerihulus within) Sh-h ! Not
a word. Keep your courage up. I go out with
clear auspices, with a bird on my left ; I have a
good sharp knife to disembowel the old man's
purse with, (aside) Aha, though ! There he Is
himself in front of the house with Apoecides —
just such a pair of old dotards as I want. Now to
turn myself into a leech and suck the blood out
of these so-called pillars of the senate.

fp. He ought to be married immediately.

Vr. Just the thing ! You see, Fve heard he is en-
tangled in an affair with some music girl or other,
and it tortures me.

'^p, (aside, exultantly) By heaven, all the gods do aid,
augment, and love me ! Why these two old fellows
themselves are showing me the way to get their
money. Come now, Epidicus, come, put yourself
in trim — bundle your cloak on your neck {doing so)
and act as if you have been hunting the man all
over the city. Now or never ! (steps unseen out
of dooiivay, panting and exhausted ; then aloud) Ye
immortal gods ! Oh, to find Periphanes at home !
Tm all tired out with looking for him through
the whole city — in doctors* offices, barbers' shops,
the gymnasium and forum, perfumers' stores and
butchers' stalls and roundabout the banks. I'm
hoarse with asking about him, I have almost col-
lapsed in the chase.

297

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Per, Epidice.

'Ep. Epidicum quis est qui revocat ?

Per, Ego sum, Periphanes.

Ap, Et ego Apoecides sum.

Ep, Et ego quidem sum Epidicus. sed, ere, optuma

vos video opportunitate ambo advenire.
Per, Quid rei est ?

Ep, Manexium, sine respirem quaeso.
Per, Immo adquiesce.

Ep, Animo malest.

Ap, Recipe anhelitum.
Pei\ Clementer, requiesce.

Ep. Animum advortite.

a legione omnes remissi sunt domum Thebis.
Ap. Quis hoc

dicit factum ?
Ep. Ego ita factum esse dico.

Per, Scin tu istuc ?

Ep, Scio.

Per. Qui tu scis ?
Ep, Quia ego ire vidi milites plenis viis ;

arma referunt et iumenta ducunt.
Per, Nimis factum bene.

Ep. Turn captivorum quid ducunt secum ! pueros, vir-

gines, 210

binos, ternos, alius quinque ; fit concursus per
vias,

filios suos quisque visunt.
Per, Hercle rem gestam bene.

Ep. Turn meretricum numerus tantus, quantum in urbe
omni fuit,

obviam ornatae occurrebant suis quaeque amato-
ribus,

eos captabant. id adeo qui maxime animum ad-
vorterim ?

298

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EPIDICUS

(calling) Epidicus!

{fvithotit looking) Who is calling Epidicus back ?

I am, Periphanes.

And I am, Apoecides.

And I, I am Epidicus. But, master, it's splendid

luck seeing you two turn up !

What is the matter ?

(weakly) Wait a minute — let me have a breathing

spell !

No, no, take a real rest.

(tottering) I feel faint, (both old men support him)

Get your breath.

Easy, easy, rest yourself.

(recovering gradually) Listen here, sir. All the

troops have been sent back home from Thebes.

Who says so ?

I — I say so.

You know that for a fact }

I do.

How do you know it ?

Because I saw the soldiers tramping through the

crowded streets. They're bringing back arms and

leading baggage animals.

Ah, splendid, splendid !

And the captives they have in tow ! Boys, girls,

— two apiece, three apiece, another man with ^y^ !

The streets are jammed, everyone going to see

his son.

By Jove ! A fine campaign !

And then the harlots, sir — the whole city supply

of 'em: — all decked out, were running up to meet

their own special lovers and trying to land them.

And how did I come to notice this particularly ?

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

pleraeque eae sub vestimentis secum habebant

retia.
quom ad portam venio, atque ego illam illi video

praestolarier
et cum ea tibicinae ibant quattuor.
Per. Quicum^ Epidice ?

Ep. Cum ilia quam tuos gnatus annos multos deamat^
deperit,
ubi fidemque remque seque teque properat perdere ; 220
ea praestolabatur ilium apud portam.
Per. Viden veneficam ?

Ep, Sed vestita, aurata^ ornata ut lepide, ut concinne,

ut nove.
Per. Quid erat induta ? an regillam induculam an men-

diculam ?
Ep. Inpluviatam, ut istaec faeiunt vestimentis nomina.
Per. Vtin inpfuvium induta fuerit ?
Ep. Quid istue tam mirabile est ?

quasi non fundis exornatae multae ineedant per vias.
at tributus quom imperatus est, negant pendi potis ;
illis quibus tributus maior penditur, pendi potest,
quid istae, quae vesti quotannis nomina inveniunt

nova }
tunicam rallam, tunicam spissam, linteolum caesi-

cium, 230

indusiatam, patagiatam, caltulam aut crocotulam,
subparum aut subnimium, ricam, basilicum aut

exotieum,
eumatile aut plumatile, earinum aut cerinum —

gerrae maxumae.
cani quoque etiam ademptumst nomen.
Per. Qui?

* A play on euhparum (linen garment) as if it were
8tib-pa/nim.
300

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EPIDICUS

Most of them had nets with 'em — under their
clothes. When I come to the gate I — ^yes, sir —
I see her waiting there^ and four flute girls along
with her.

(blankUf) With whom^ Epidicus ?
{excitedly) With that woman your son has been
desperately^ doatingly in love with for years^ sir ;
the woman he is rushing to wreck his reputation
and his fortune and his life and your Hfe for — she^
she^ was waiting for him at the gate !
(io Apoecides, indignantly) Look at that, the
murderess !

But the way she was dressed^ bejewelled, be-
decked, sir-#-so charmingly, so tastefully, so
stylishly !

{contemptuously) What did she have on ? The
Princess style of tunic, or the Beggarmaid ?
The Sky-light — ^according to the way the women-
folk name their garments.
Eh ? She wore a sky-light ?
What's so remarkable in that, sir ? As if lots oi
wenches weren't parading the streets with whole
estates on their backs. But when the taxes are
levied the men say they can't pay; the heavier
tax levied by these wenches, — that can be paid
all right, (scornfully) What are they at, sir, those
women that invent new names for garments every
year ? The Looseknit tunic, the Closeknit tunic,
the Linenblue, the Interior, the Goldedge, the
Marigold or Crocus tunic, the Shift— or Shiftless ^
— the Mantilla, the Royal or the Exotic, the Wavy
or the Downy, the Nutty or the Waxy — and not
a kernel of sense in all of it. They've even taken
the name of a dog, sir.
How.?

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep, Vocant Laconicum.

haec vocabula auctiones subigunt ut faciant viros.
Ap, Quin tu ut occepisti loquere ?

Ep. Occepere aliae mulieres

duae post me sic fabulari inter sese — ego abscessi

seiens
paulum ab illis^ dissimulabam earum operam ser-

moni dare ;
nee satis exaudibam, nee seiinonis fallebar tamen,
quae loquerentur.
Per. Id lubidost scire.

Ep. Ibi illarum altera 240

dixit illi quicum ipsa ibat — ■
Per. Quid ? %

Ep. Tace ergo, ut audias —

postquam illam sunt conspicatae, quam tuos gnatus

deperit :
" quam facile et quam fortunate evenit illi, obsecro,
mulieri, quam liberare volt amator/' ^^quisnam

is est? '*
inquit altera illi. ibi ilia nominat Stratippoclem
Periphanai filium.
Per. Periihercle. quid ego ex te audio ?

Ep. Hoc quod actum est. egomet postquam id illas
audivi loqui,
coepi rursum vorsum ad illas pauxillatim accedere,
quasi retruderet hominum me vis invitum.
Per. Intellego.

Ep. Ibi ilia interrogavit illam : *^ qui scis ? quis id dixit

tibi ? " 250

'^quin hodie adlatae tabellae sunt ad eam a

Stratippocle,
eum argentum sumpsisse apud Thebas ab danista

faenore,
id paratum et sese ob eam rem id ferre.
302

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EPIDICUS

Ep Calliiig an article the Laconian.^ (profoundly) It

^ is terms like these that bring husbands to bank-
ruptcy.

Ap, Why don't you go on with your story ?

Ep, Two other women began chattering behind me,
{illustrating) so, I drew away a bit purposely,
pretended not to notice their conversation ; I
couldn't catch all they said, but not much escaped
me, just the same.

Per. I should very much like to know what it was.

Ep. Well, one of them said to the other one along
with her

Per. What?

Ep. Now do keep still, sir, and then you'll hear — after
they spied that girl your son is daft over : ^' Mercy
me," says she, '^ the easy, lucky way things do
come to that girl, with her lover wanting to set
her free ! " "Who on earth is he ? " says the
other. Then the first one names him — Stratip-
pocles, the son of Periphanes.

Per. (wildly) Oh-h damnation ! What's this I hear ?

Ep. The facts in the case, sir. As for me, after I heard
them talking like this I began to back up toward
them little by little as if people were pushing me
and shoving me back despite me.

Per. (impatiently) I understand.

Ep. Then the second one asked the first : " How do
you know ? Who told you ? " " Why," says she,
*^this very day a letter was brought to her from
Stratippocles saying he*d got money on interest
from a money-lender at Thebes, that he had it in
hand and was bringing it himself for this very
purpose."

^ Both a kind of dog and a kind of tunic.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Per, Certo ego occidi.

Ep. Haec sic aibat ; sic audivisse ex eapse atque epistula. •
Per, Quid ego nunc faciam ? consilium a te expetesso,

Apoecides.
Ap. Reperiaraus aliquid calidi conducibilis consili.

nam ille quidem aut iam hie aderit, credo hercle,
aut iam adest.
Ep. Si aequom siet

me plus sapere quam vos, dederim vobis consilium

catum^
quod laudetis, ut ego opino, uterque —
Per, Ergo ubi id est, Epidice ?

Ep, Atque ad cam rem conducibile.

Ap. Quid istuc dubitas dicere ? 260

Ep, Vos priores esse oportet, nos posterius dicere,

qui plus sapitis.
Pe?\ Eia vero, age die.

Ep. At deridebitis.

A p. Non edepol faciemus.

Ep. Immo, si placebit, utitor,

consilium si non placebit, reperitote rectius.
mihi istic nee seritur nee metitur, nisi ea quae tu
vis volo.
Per. Gratiam habeo ; fac participes nos tuae sapientiae.
Ep. Continuo arbitretur uxor tuo gnato atque ut fidi-
cinam
illam quam is volt liberare, quae ilium corrumpit

tibi,
ulciscare atque ita curetur, usque ad mortem ut
serviat.
Ap. Fieri oportet.

Per. Facere cupio quidvis, dum id fiat modo.

304.

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fiPlDICUS

Death and damnation !

This was what she said ; she had learned this from

the girl herself and from the letter.

What shall I do now ? I look to you for adviee>

Apoecides.

(looking wise) We must hit on some plan piping

hot and to the point. For that young worthy will

either be here soon, I suppose — ^gad, yes ! — or is

here already.

{diffidently) If it was proper for me to be wiser

than you, sirs, I could provide you with an artful

plan that you'd both approve of, as I think —

Well then, where is it, Epidieus ?

— and a plan quite to the point, too.

Why so slow to say what it is ?

You gentlemen ought to speak first and I second,

you being the wiser, sirs.

{trnpatiently) Oh really now ! Come, out with it.

{bashfully) But you two will make fun of me,

('patronizingly) No, no, upon my word.

Oh well, if my plan suits you, use it ; if it doesn't,

look up a likelier one. It's no crop of mine I'm

sowing or reaping here, sir; I only want what

you want.

Per, {ironically) I thank you. Make us sharers in your
wisdom.

Ep, You should settle on a wife for your son at once,
sir, yes, and as for that music girl he wants to set
free, that girl who's corrupting him for you, you
ought to wreak vengeance on her and see that
she slaves it to her very dying day.

Ap. (pleased at seeing his advice corroborated) Precisely,
precisely.

Per, I'm eager to do anything you like, if it's only

possible.

VOL. II.

805

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep, Em, 270

nunc occasiost faciundi, prius quam in urbem ad-
venerit,

sicut eras hie aderit, hodie non venit.
Per, Qui scis?

Ep, Scio.

quia mihi alius dixit qui illinc vanity mane hie
adfore.
Per, Quin tu eloquere, quid faciemus ?
Ep, Sie faciundum censeo

quasi tu cupias liberare fidicinam animi gratia

quasique ames vehementer tu illam.
Per, Quam ad rem istue refert ?

Ep, Rogas ?

ut enim praestines argento^ prius quam veniat filius^

atque ut eam te in libertatem dicas emere —
Per, Intellego.

Ep. Vbi erit empta, ut aliquo ex urbe amoveas; nisi
quid est tua

secus sententia.
Per, Immo docte.

Ep, Quid tua autem, Apoecides ? 280

Ap, Quid ego iam nisi te commentum nimis astute in-
tellego ?
Ep. lam simul igitur amota ei erit omnis eonsultatio

imptiarum^ ne gravetur quod velis.
Per, Vive sapis,

et placet.
Ep, Tum tu igitur calide quidquid acturu's age.

Per, Rem hercle loquere.

Ep, Et repperi, haec te qui abscedat suspicio.

Per, Sine me scire.
Ep. Scibis, audi.

Ap, Sapit hie pleno pectore.

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EPIDICUS

Ep, There ! Now's our chance to do it, before he
reaches the city; he comes to-morrow, you under-
stand, not to-day.

Per, How do you know ?

Ep. I do know, sir. You see, another man from there
told me he would arrive here in the morning.

Pei\ Speak out, will you } What shall we do .'*

Ep, I think you should act as if you longed to set the
music girl free for your own enjoyment, sir, and
as if you were violently in love with her yourself.

Per. What is the good of that ?

Ep. The good ? Why, so that before your son comes
you may have her bought and paid for and say
you purchased her to set her free —

Per, I understand.

Ep, — and once she is purchased, remove her from the
city somewhere — supposing you have no different
views, sir.

Per. No, no, — a good idea !

Ep, (to Apoecides, deferentially) And what do you say,
sir?

Ap, I ? What can 1 say, save that I consider your
scheme very shrewd indeed ?

Ep, Then all his qualms about marrying will be
removed along with her, and he won't oppose your
wishes.

Per. You're a perfect genius I Excellent !

Ep. Now then, sir, whatever you're going to do, do it
in hot haste.

Per. By gad, you're right.

Ep, And I've found a way to leave you unsuspected
in the matter.

Per, Let me hear it.

Ep. You shall, sir : listen.

Ap, The fellow is overflowing with wisdom.

307
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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep, Opus est homine qui illo argentum deferat pro
fidicina ;
nam te nolo neque opus factost.
Per. Quid iam ?

Ep, Ne te eenseat

fili causa facere —
Per, Docte.

Ep. Quo ilium ab ilia prohibeas :

ne qua ob eam suspieionem diflficultas evenat. 290

Per. Quem hominem inveniemus ad eam rem utilem ?
Ep, Hie erit optimus,

hie poterit eavere recte, iura qui et leges tenet.
Per. Epidico habeas gratiam.

Ep. Sed ego istuc faciam sedulo.

ego ilium conveniam atque adducam hunc ad eum

quoiast fidicina,
atque argentum ego cum hoc feram.
Per. Quanti emi potest minimo ?

Ep. Illane ?

ad quadraginta fortasse eam posse emi minimo

minis,
verum si plus dederis, referam, nihil in ea re

captiost.
atque id non decem occupatum tibi erit argentum
dies.
Per. Quidum .'*

Ep. Quia enim mulierem alius illam adulescens

deperity
auro opulentus, magnus miles Rhodius, raptor

hostium, ^ 300

gloriosus. is emet illam de te et dabit aurum

lubens.
face modo, est lucrum hie tibi amplum.
Per. Deos quidem oro.

308

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EPIDICUS

Ep. We need a man to carry the money for the music
girl to her owner ; for you mustn't, sir, yourself,
and there's no need of it, either.

Per, Why so, pray ?

JEp. So that he won't surmise you're acting for your
son's welfare —

Per, Very prudent !

£p. — with the idea of separating him from her ; you
don't want any difficulty to arise from such a
suspicion.

Per. Where shall we find a suitable man for this ?

Ep, {pointing to Apoecides) Here, sir, the best possible
man, a man who'll be able to take due precautions,
a man with legal matters and laws at his fingers'
ends.

Per, (to Apoecides, smiling) You ought to feel obliged
to Epidicus.

Ep, But I, too, will do my very best in the matter,
sir. I'll meet the music girl's owner and conduct
this gentleman to him, and go along with him
myself with the money

Per, What's the lowest price she can be bought for ?

Ep. The girl ? Oh, a hundred and sixty pounds, I
daresay, at the lowest. However, if you give me
more than enough, I'll bring it back, sir. (ns
Peripkanes looks doubtfiit) There's no trap here.
Besides, this monev won't be tied up for ten days.

Per. Eh, how's that .>

Ep, Why, sir, because there's another young fellow
daft over the girl, a fellow rolling in wealth, a
mighty military man from Rhodes, a ravager of
foemen, a braggart. He'll buy her of you and give
you his gold gladly. Just do your part ; there are
big profits for you in this, sir.

Per, I certainly pray Heaven there may be.

309

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep.
Ap.

Impetras.
Quin tu is intro atque huic argentum promis ? ego

visam ad forum.

Epidice, eo veni.

Ep.

Ne abitas prius quam ego ad te venero.

Ap.

Vsque opperiar.

Per.

Sequere tu intro.

Ep.

I, numera, nil ego te moror.

II. 3.

nullum esse opinor ego agrum in agro Attico

aeque feracem quam hie est noster Periphanes ;

quin ex occluso atque obsignato arraario

decutio argenti tantum quantum mihi lubet.

quod pol ego metuo si senex resciverit, 310

ne ulmos parasitos faciat, quae usque attondeant.

sed me una turbat res ratioque, Apoeeidi

quam ostendam fidieinam aliquam conducticiam.

atque id quoque habeo. mane me iussit senex

conducere aliquam fidieinam sibi hue domum^

quae, dum rem dinam faceret, cantaret sibi ;

ea conducetur atque ei praemonstrabitur

quo pacto fiat subdola ad versus senem.

ibo intro, argentum accipiam ab damnoso sene.

ACTVS III

Sir. Expectando exedor miser atque exenteror, 320

quo modo mi Epidici blanda dicta evenant.

310

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EPIDICUS

I Ep. Your prayer is answered.

J Ap, (to Peripkanes) Why don't you go in and procure
the money for him ? Til look about the forum,
myself. Meet me there, Epidieus.
Ep, Don't you go away before I do meet you there.
Ap. I'll wait till then. [exit.

Per, (entering his house) Come inside with me, you.
Ep, Go on, sir, count it out ; don't let me detain you.

[exit Periphanes,
Scene 3.

(gleefully) I don't believe there is a single field
in all Attica as fertile as this Periphanes of ours ;
why, though his chest is shut up and sealed, yet
I shake the money out of it to any amount I like.
(pauses) Gad, if the old fellow discovers it, I fear
he'll make the elm switches cling to me like
parasites and lick me to the bone. But the one
really bothersome thing on my mind is what
music girl to show Apoecides, some hired one.
(meditates) Aha ! I see my way there, too. This
morning the old man told me to hire a music girl
for him and bring her to the house here to play
for him while he offered sacrifice. Hired she
shall be, yes, and instructed beforehand how to
pull the wool over his aged eyes. I'll go in and
collect the cash from the old spendthrift.

[exit.

ACT III

enter Stratippocles and Chaerilmlus from the
latter's house.

Sir, (desperately) Oh, I'm devoured, disembowelled,
with this danmable waiting to see what Epidicus's
smooth talk will actually bring me ! The agony's

311

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iiimis diu maceror ; sitne quid necne sit,
scire cupio.
Ckaer. Per illam tibi copiam

copiam parare aliam licet ; scivi equidem in prin-
cipio ilico

nullam tibi esse in illo copiam.
Sir, Interii hercle ego.

Chaer, Absurde facis qui angas te animi ; si hercle ego
ilium semel prendero,
numquam inridere nos ilium inultum sinam servom
hominem.
Sir. Quid ilium facere vis, qui, tibi quoi divitiae domi
maxumae sunt,
is nummum nullum babes neque sodali tuo in te

copiast. 329, 330

Ckaer. Si hercle habeam, poUicear lubens, verum aliquid
aliqua aliquo modo
alicunde ab aliqui aliqua tibi spes est fore meliorem
fortunam.
Sir. Vae tibi, muricide homo.

Chaer. Qui tibi lubet mihi male loqui ?

Sir. Quippe tu mi aliquid aliquo modo alicunde ab ali-
quibus blatis

quod nusquamst neque ego id inmitto in
aures meas
nee mihi plus adiumenti ^ ades, quam ille qui num-
quam etiam natust.

III. 2.

Ep. Fecisti iam officium tuom, me meum nunc facere
oportet.
per banc curam quieto tibi licet esse — hoc quidem
iam peri it.

^ Corrupt (Leo) : admmento Seyflfert.
312

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too long drawn out ; good or bad, I do so want to
know the result.

Chaer, As far as aid from him is concerned you might as
well look elsewhere ; as a matter of fact, I knew
at the very outset there was no aid for you in
him.

Str, Oh this is awful, awful !

Chaer, You're a fool to fret so. By gad, once I lay hands
on him, that wretched slave shall never give us
the laugh without paying for it !

Sir. {hUterly) What do you want him to do, you, a man
with all your money, and yet haven't got a penny
for your friends and won't aid your own chum !

Chaer, Man alive, if I had it, I'd promise it to you gladly
— but something, somehow, some way, from some-
where, from some one, there's some hope of your
having better luck.

St7\ Ugh ! blast you ! you chicken-hearted fellow !

Chaer, Why does it please you to abuse me ?

Str, Why.'* With your babbling about something,
some way, from somewhere, from some one —
something that's nowhere, that I won't let you
fill my ears with — and being of no more use to me
than a man that was never born at all !

ENTER EpidicUS, CARRYING A BAG OF MONEY, FROM

Scene 2. Periphanes's house.

Epu (to Periphanes within) Yes, sir, you have done your
part, and now I must do mine. You may rest
easy as far as this is concerned — {waving the bag as
the door closes) for really this is quite dead already.

313

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ne quid tibi hinc in spem referas, oppido hoc

pollinctum ^ est.
crede modo mihi. sic ego ago, sic egerunt nostri. 340
Pro di immortal es, mihi hunc diem dedistis lucu-
lentum,
ut facilem atque impetrabilem ! sed ego hinc mi-

grare cesso,
ut importem in coloniam hunc meo auspicio com-

meatum ?
mihi cesso, cum sto. sed quid hoc ? ante aedis duo

sodales^
erum et Chaeribulum, conspicor. quid hie agitis ?
accipe hoc sis.
Sir. Quantum hie inest ?

Ep. Quantum sat est, et plus satis : superfit.

decern minis plus attuli quam tu danistae debes.
dum tibi ego placeam atque obsequar, meum ter-
gum flocci facio.
Str. Nam quid ita ?

Ep. Quia ego tuom patrem faciam parenticidam.

Str, Quid istuc est verbi ?

Ep. Nil moror vetera et volgata verba. 350

peratum ductarent ; ego follitum ductitabo.
nam leno omne argentum abstulit pro fidicina —

ego resolvi,
manibus his denumeravi — pater suam natam quam

esse credit,
nunc iterum ut fallatur pater tibique auxilium
apparetur

^ pollinctum Goetz : politum or pollitum MSS.
o\4s

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EPIDICUS

Don't count on seeing any part of it again ; it's
all laid out for burial. Just trust me ! This is
my way and the way of my family.

Ye immortal gods ! Such a dazzling day as you
have given me, so easy-going, so compliant ! But
am I — I — delaying to migrate from here, and to
convey this convoy, under my own auspices, to
the colony ? It's myself I delay, standing here.
(looking toward Chaerihulus* s house) What's this,
though.'* The two chums, master and Chaeri-
bulus, in front of the house I {approaching) What
are you two doing here ? {handing Stratippocles the
bag with a grand air) Be good enough to take this.

Str, {eagerly) How much is there in it ?

Ep. Enough, and more than enough — a superfluity. I
have brought you forty pounds more than you
owe the money-lender. Provided I please and
oblige you, not a straw do 1 care for my own
shoulders.

Sir, Why, how so}

Ep. Because I am going to make your father a parent-
icide.

Sir. What sort of a word is that ?

Ep. None of your old and ordinary words for me !
Others would have taken him off in a sack ^ ; I'll
take him in in a money bag. Why, the pimp has
his full price for the girl — ^paid him myself, counted
down the cash with these hands — the music girl
your father takes for his own daughter. And now
I have found a way to fool him again and offer
you a helping hand. You see, I persuaded the
old man — indeed, I delivered an address on the

^ A part of the ancient punishment of parricides.

315

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

inveni. nam ita suasi seni atque banc habui ora-

tionem,^
ut cum rediisses ne tibi eius copia esset.
Str, Euge.2

Ep. Ea iam domist pro filia.

Str. Iam teneo.

Ep, Nunc cautorem

dedit mihi ad banc rem Apoecidem, is apud forum

manet me,
quasi qui a me ^ caveat.
Str. Haud male.

Ep. Iam ipse cautor captust.

ipse in meo coUo tuos pater cruminam coUocavit ; S60
is adornat, adveniens domi extemplo ut maritus fias.
Str. Vno persuadebit modo, si illam, quae adducta est
mecum,
mi adempsit Orcus.
Ep. Nunc ego banc astutiam institui.

deveniam ad lenonem domum egomet solus, eum

ego docebo,
si quid ad eum adveniam, ut sibi esse datum argen-

tum dicat
pro fidicina, argenti minas se habere quinqua-

ginta —
quippe ego qui nudiustertius meis manibus denu-

meravi
pro ilia tua amica, quam pater suam filiam esse

retur —
ibi leno sceleratum caput suom imprudens alligabit,

^ Leo notes lacuna following : tU prciestinaret fidicinam
quam liberare veUes, quasi Wte^^are ipsus ftibi earn cuperet.

* Leo notes lacuna following : {nunc super adducam
aliam patri fidiciivam ; nam quam amahas) Leo.

' quasi qui a me Buecheler : qu^isi quae am/artt MSS.
316

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EPIDICUS

subject « « «i so as not to let you have access
to her on your return.

Str. Good ! good !

Ep. ♦ ♦ ♦ * This music girl is now at the house posing
as his daughter.

Str. I see, I see.

Ep. ^ow he has given me Apoecides as supervisor in
the transaction — he is waiting for me in the forum
— with the idea of being on his guard against
me.

Str. Not bad !

Ep. And here is the very guarder gulled ! Your father
himself decked my neck with the wallet; he is
making preparations to get you married as soon
as you reach home.

Str. {hotlji) There's only one way of inducing me to
marry — Death must first deprive me of the girl I
brought here with me !

Ep. Now here is the scheme I have devised. I myself
will go down to the pimp's house all alone and
coach him to say, in case I go to him about any-
thing, that the money for the music girl has been
paid him, that he has received the two hundred
pounds — for, in fact, I did count him out the
money with my own hands the day before yester-
day, in payment for that old sweetheart of yours
that your father thinks is his daughter — and then
our pimp, without knowing what he is doing, will
swear to it by his villainous head, giving the im-

^ Leo suggests : **to purchase a music girl, whom you
wanted to set free, he pretending that he longed to free
her for his own satisfaction,"

2 Leo suggests: '*Now FU fetch still another music
girl to your father, for the one you used to love — "

317

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

quasi pro ilia argentum acceperit, quae tecum

addueta nunc est. 370

Chaer. Vorsutior es quam rota figularis.
Ep, lam ego parabo

aliquam dolosam fidicinam^ iiummo conducta quae

sit,
quae se emptam simulet, quae senes duo docte

ludificetur.
eam ducet simul Apoecides ad tuom patrem.
Str, Vt parate.

Ep. Eam permeditatam, meis dolis astutiisque onustam
mittam. sed nimis longum loquor, diu me estis

demorati.
haec scitis iam ut futura sint. abeo.
Str. Bene ambulato.

Chaer. Nimis doctus ille est ad male faciendum.
Str, Me equidem certo

servavit consiliis suis.
Chaer. Abeamus intro hinc ad me.

Sir. Atque aliquanto lubentius quam abs te sum egressus

intus ; 380

virtute atque auspicio Epidici cum praeda in castra
redeo.

III. 3.

Per. Non oris causa modo homines aequom fuit

sibi habere speculum, ubi os contemplarent suom,

sed qui perspicere possent cor sapientiae,^

ubi id inspexissent, cogitarent postea,

vitam ut vixissent olim in adulescentia.

vel ego, qui dudum fili causa coeperam

ego med excruciare animi, quasi quid filius

^ Leo brackets following v., 385 :

igitur perspicere ut poaaent cordu copiam.
318

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EPIDICUS

pression that the money he received was for the
girl you have brought with you now.

Chaer, You're up to more turns than a potter's wheel.

Ep, Now I shall get hold of some sly music girl, one
that can be hired for a trifle, who will pretend she
has been bought and fool the two old fellows in
neat style. Apoecides shall take her along with
him to your father.

Str. {delighted) You're a ready one !

Ep. It will be a girl well rehearsed, well loaded with
my tricks and wiles, that I send him. But I am
talking too much ; you have delayed me a long
time. Now you know how things will be. I'm
off. [exit.

Sir, A good trip to you !

Chaer, He's a precious clever mischief maker.

Str, He and his schemes have certainly been the salva-
tion of me, at any rate.

Chaer, (moving toward his door) Let's go into my house.

Sti\ Yes, and rather more cheerfully than I came out
of it. (exuberantly) Thanks to the valour and
auspices of Epidicus, I return to camp laden with
booty. [exeunt.

Scene 3. enter Peripkanes,

(^An hour has elapsed.)

Per, It would be a good thing for each man to have a
mirror, not only for his face, not only to scrutinize
that in, but one that would let him see into the
rationality of his wisdom ; then, when they had
inspected that, they might next consider what
sort of life they had lived in the distant days of
their youth. Here's my own case — a while ago
I'd begun to torment myself about my son, as if

319

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TITOS MACClOS PLAUTUS

meus deliquisset me erga aut quasi non plurima 390

male facta mea essent solida in adulescentia.

profeeto deliramus interdum senes.^

sed meus sodalis it cum praeda Apoecides.

venire salvom mereatorem gaudeo.

quid fit ?
Ap. Di deaeque te adiuvant.

Pen Omen placet.

Ap. Quin omini omnes suppetunt res prospere.

sed tu banc iube sis intro abduci.
Per. Heus, foras

exite hue aliquis. duce istam intro mulierem.

atque audin ?
Serv. Quid vis?

Per. Cave siris cunj filia 400

mea copulari banc neque conspicere. iam tenes ? •

in aediculam istanc sorsum concludi volo.

divortunt mores virgini longe ac lupae.
Ap. Docte et sapienter dicis. numquam * nimi' potest

pudicitiam quisquam suae servare filiae.

edepol ne istam temperi gnato too

sumos praemercati.
Per. Quid iam ?

Ap. Quia dixit mibi

iam dudum se alius tuom vidisse hie filium ;

banc edepol rem apparabat.
Per. Planum bercle hoc quidem est.

Ap. Ne tu hal>es servom grapbicum et quantivis preti, 410

non carust auro contra, ut ille fidicinam

fecit sese ut nesciret esse emptam tibi !

^ Leo brackets following v., 393 :

fuit cmvducihile hoc quidem mea aententia.
* numquam Fleckeisen : num MSS.
320

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EPIDICUS

my son had committed some offence against me^
or as if my own serious faults weren't plentiful
enough when I was a lad. We old fellows posi-
tively become delirious at times, (looking down the
street) But there comes my good friend Apoecides
with the booty, [enter Apoecides with a music
oiRL.] {smiling as he approaches) Glad to see our
merchant arriving safe ! How goes it ?

Ap. {pleased with himself) The gods and goddesses are
with you.

Per, A good sign !

Ap, Yes, and a sign with signal luck to back it. But
let this girl be conducted inside, if you please.

Per, {going to his door and calling) Hey! Come out
here, some one ! [enter a slave.] Take that
woman inside, {slave leads the girl toward door)
And then — are you listening ?

Slave What do you want }

Per, Mind you don't let her come in contact with my
daughter, or set eyes on her. Understand now ?
I want her shut up in that little room apart from
the rest. There's a vast deal of difference between
a maiden and a drab.

Ap, Well said, and wisely. No one can be too careful
to preserve his daughter's modesty, [exeunt slave
and music girl.] By Jove, we surely forestalled
your son just in time in buying that girl.

Per, Indeed .> Why?

Ap, Because a man told me he had seen your son in
town some time ago ; and by gad, this {mth a wave
toward the door) was the business he was after !

Per, Clearly enough, by Jove, yes !

Ap, You certainly have a model slave, worth any price,
cheap at his weight in gold. How he blinded the
music girl to the fact she was bought for you!

321

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ita ridibundam atque hilaram hue adduxit simul.
Per, Mirum hoc qui potuit fieri.
Ap, Te pro filio

facturum dixit rem esse divinam domi^

quia Thebis salvos redierit.
Per, Rectam institit.

Ap. Immo ipsus illi dixit conductam esse eam^

quae hie administraret ad rem dhdnam tibi.^

ego illic me autem sic assimulabam : quasi 420

stolidum^ combardum me faciebam.
Per, Em istuc decet.

Ap. Res magna amici apud forum agitur^ ei volo

ire advocatus.
Per, At quaeso^ ubi erit otium,

revortere ad me extemplo.
Ap. Continuo hie ero.

Per, Nihil homini amicost opportune amicius.

sine tuo labore quod velis actumst tamen.

ego si allegavissem aliquem ad hoc negotium

minus hominem doctum minusque ad banc rem
callidum^

OS sublitum esset^ itaque me albis dentibus

meus derideret filius meritissumo. 430

sed quis hie est quem ego hue advenientem con-
spicor, 435

suam qui undantem chlamydem quassando facit ?

III. 4.

Mil. Cave praeterbitas uUas aedis^ quin roges,

senex hie ubi habitat Periphanes Platenius.
incertus tuom cave ad me rettuleris pedem.

322

^ Leo brackets following v. , 419 :

fnctivrum hoc diaeit rem esse divinam tibi domi.

yGoogk

EPIDICUS

The way he brought her along here — she laughing
and merry as you please !

Per, It's surprising how that could be.

Ap, He said you were going to offer sacrifice at your
house in honour of your son's safe return from
Thebes.

Per, That was the line to take.

Ap, {chuckling) Why, the fellow actually told the pimp
she was hired to assist you here in the sacrifice.
As for me, I put on this sort of air with 'em
{assuming a look of benign asininit^y^made myself
out to be a thick-witted simpleton.

Per. Ah ! quite appropriate.

Ap, {with an overworked air) Well, a friend of mine has
an important case coming up at the forum ; I must
go and give him my support.

Per. But come back to me the moment you're at
leisure, I beg you.

Ap. Yes, yes, directly. [exit.

Per. {looking after him contentedly) A friend in need is a
friend indeed ! Without your turning your hand,
your wishes are fulfilled just the same. I now — if
I had employed in this business some man less
shrewd, less wideawake in such matters — I should
have been bamboozled, and then my son would
show me his white teeth in a mocking laugh, pre-
cisely as I deserved, (looking down the street) But
who's this I spy approaching with such a swinging
stride that his cloak fairly undulates ?

Scene 4. enter Captain and his servant.

Capt. {to servant, sternly) Mind, you are not to pass a
single house without inquiring whereabouts old
Periphanes Platenius lives. You are not to retreat
to me, mind, till you have found out.

323
Y 2

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Per. Adulescens^ si istunc hominem^ quern tu quaeritas, 440

tibi commonstrasso^ ecquam abs te inibo gratiam ?
Mil, Virtute belli armatus promerui, ut mihi

omnis mortalis agere deceat gratias.
Per, Non repperisti, adulescens, tranquillum locum,

ubi tuas virtutes explices, ut postulas.

nam strenuiori deterior si praedicat

suas pugnas, de illius illae fiunt sordidae.

sed istum quem quaeris Periphanem Platenium,

ego sum, si quid vis.
Mil. Nempe quem in adiilescentia

memorant apud reges armis, arte duellica, 450

divitias magnas indeptum ?
Per, Immo si audias

meas pugnas, fugias manibus dimissis domum.
Mil, Pol ego magis uniun quaero, meas cui praedieem,

quam ilium qui memoret suas mihi.
Per. Hie non est locus ;

proin tu alium quaeras cui centones sarcias.

atque haec stultitiast me illi vitio vortere 431

egomet quod factitavi in adulescentia,

cum militabam. pugnis memorandis meis

eradicabam hominum auris, quando occeperam. 434

Mil. Animum advorte, ut quod ego ad te advenio in-

tellegas. 456

meam amicam audivi te esse mercatum.
Per. Attatae,

nunc demum scio ego hunc qui sit : quem dudum
Epidicus

mihi praedicavit militem. adulescens, itast

ut dicis, emi.

324

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EPIDICUS

Per, (hanteringU/) Young man, if I show you that gentle-
man you're seeking, will it earn me any gratitude
from you ?

Capt, {haughtily) By my martial valour I have in arms
earned the right to have all mankind pay due
gratitude to me.

Per, You haven't found a tranquil spot, young man, in
which to deploy your valorous deeds, as you count
on doing. When a sorry soldier recounts his
battles to a brisker one, the comparison makes
them lose their lustre. But as to that Periphanes
Platenius you look for, I am he, at your service.

Capt, (somewhat abashed) You mean the one that they
say served with kings as a young man and made a
great fortune by maiiiial exploits and the art of
war?

Per, Why, man alive, if you heard of my battles, you
would race for home, using your arms like a
sprinter.

Capt, Gad, I am looking for some man to recount my
own battles to, rather than for one to tell me
about his.

Per. You have come to the wrong place ; so search out
someone else to patch up your old rags for.
(aside) And yet it's foolish of me to find fault with
him for doing what I was for ever doing myself
when I was a young fellow and a soldier. I used
fairly to uproot men's ears with tales of my
battles, once I'd begun.

Capt, (stiffly) Your attention, sir, so that you may under-
stand the cause of this visit. I hear that you have
purchased my mistress.

Per, (aside) Ohoho I Now at last I know who he is —
the Captain that Epidicus announced a while ago.
(aloud) Quite true, young man, I have.

325

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Mil, Volo te verbis pauculis^ 460

si tibi molestum non est.
Per. Non edepol scio,

molestum necne sit, nisi dicis quid velis.
MiL Mi illam ut tramittas, argentum accipias ; adest.

nam quid ego apud te vera parcam proloqui ?

ego illam volo hodie facere libertam meam,

mihi concubina quae sit.
Per. Te absolvam brevi.

argenti quinquaginta mi ilia empta est minis ;

si sexaginta mihi denumerantur minae,

tuas possidebit mulier faxo ferias ;

atque ita profecto, ut eam ex hoc exoneres agro. 470
MiL Estne empta mi istis legibus ?
Per. Habeas licet.

Mil. Conciliavisti pulchre.
Per. Heus, foras educite

quam introduxistis fidicinam. atque etiam fides,

ei quae accessere, tibi addam dono gratiis.

age accipe banc sis.
Mil. Quae te intemperiae tenent ?

quas tu mihi tenebras trudis ? quin tu fidicinam

produci intus iubes.
Per. Haec ergo est fidicina.

hie alia nuUast.
Mil. Non mihi nugari potes.

quin tu hue producis fidicinam Acropolistidem ?
Per. Haec inquamst.
Mil. Non haec inquamst. nonnovisseme 480

meam rere amicam posse ?
Per. Hanc, inquam, filius

meus deperibat fidicinam.
326

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EPIDICUS

CapL I want a few words with you, unless you object.

Pel'. Egad, I don't know whether I object or not,
unless you tell me what you want.

CapL I want you to pass that girl over to me and let me
pay for her ; (showing a tvallet) here is the money.
Why should I mince matters with you ? I want
to make her my freedwoman at once and have her
for a mistress.

Per. rU soon settle your business. She cost me two
hundred pounds; count me down two hundred
and forty, and the girl shall fill up all your spare
time for you — yes, and on this condition, mind
you, that you unload this region of her.

Capt. She is mine on those terms ?

Per. You may have her.

Capt, You have made a fine bargain.

Per. (calling at his do<i9) Hey there! Bring out that
music girl you took inside, (to Captain) Yes, and
1*11 throw in the lute that came with her, too,
as a present to you, free of charge, [enter slaves
WITH MUSIC GIRL.] Comc, be good enough to take
her.

Capt. (after an astonished glance at the girl) What are you
raving about ? What is this bagnio you are shoving
off on me ? Why don't you order the music girl
to be brought out ?

Pei\ (surprised) Well, this is the music girl. There's
no other one here.

Capt. You cannot trifle with me. Why don't you bring
out the music girl Acropolistis ?

Per. This is she, I tell you.

Capt, This is not she, I tell you. Do you suppose I
can't recognise my own mistress ?

Per. I tell you this is the music girl my son doted
on.

327

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Mil. Haec non est ea.

Per, Quid ? non est ?

Mil, Non est.

Per, Vnde haec igitur gentiumst ?

equidem hercle argentum pro hac dedi.
Mil, Stulte datum

reor et peccatum largiter.
Per, Immo haec east.

nam servom misi, qui ilium sectari solet

meum gnatum ; is ipse hanc destinavit fidicinam.
Mil, Em istic homo te articulatim concidit^ senex,

tuos servos.
Per, Quid concidit?

Mil, Sic suspiciost^

nam pro fidicina haec cerva supposita est tibi. 490

senex, tibi os est sublitum plane et probe.

ego illam requiram iam ubi ubi est.
Per, Bellator, vale.

euge, euge, Epidice, frugi es, pugnavisti, homo es,

qui me emunxisti mucidum^ minimi preti.

mercatus te hodie est de lenone Apoecides ?
Fid, Fando ego istunc hominem numquam audivi ante
hunc diem,

neque me quidem emere quisquam ulla pecunia

potuit ; plus iam sum libera quinquennium.
Per, Quid tibi negotist meae domi igitur ?
Fid, Audies.

conducta veni, ut fidibus cantarem seni, 500

dum rem divinam faceret.

32a

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EPIDICUS

CapU She is not the one.

Per, What ? Not the one ?

Capt. Not the one.

Per. Where in the world does she come from, then }
I certainly paid out money for her, by Jove !

Capt. You paid it out like a fool, apparently, and
botched things beautifully.

Per. No, no, she is the one. Why, I sent the servant
that always attends my son ; he bought this music
girl himself.

Capt. Aha ! the fellow has cut you up * joint by joint,
old gentleman, — {derisively) that servant of yours.

Per. How " cut me up " ?

Capt So I suspect, for in place of the music girl, this
hind* has been palmed off on you. You have
been hoaxed, old gentleman, plainly and properly
hoaxed. As for me, FU hunt her up now wherever
she is. [exeunt Captain and servant.

Per. {looking after him sourly) Farewell, warrior 1 (bit-
terly) Bravo, bravo, Epidicus ! You are a worthy
fellow, a fighter, a real man, to clean me up,
drivelling dotard that I am! (to the girl) Did
Apoecides purchase you from the pimp to-day ?

Girl (pertly, seeing she has been found out) To-day is the
very first time I ever heard tell of the man, and
as for buying me, no one could, not for any
money; for more than five years now I've been
free.

Per. (staggered) What is your business at my house,
then ?

Girl You shall hear. I was hired to come and sing to
lute accompaniment for an old man while he
offered sacrifice.

* An allusion to the legend of Pelias.

* An allusion to the legend of Iphigeneia.

829

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Per. Fateor me omnium

hominum esse Athenis Atticis minimi preti.

sed tu novistin Micinam Acropolistidem ?
Fid, Tam facile quam me.
Per, VbihabiUt?

Fid, Postquam liberast

ubi habitet dieere admodum incerte scio.
Per, Eho an libera ilia est ? quis earn liberaverit,

volo scire, si scis.
Fid, Id quod audivi audies.

Stratippoclem aiunt Periphanai filium

absentem curavisse ut fieret libera.
Per, Perii hercle, si istaec vera sunt; planissume 510

meum exenteravit Epidicus marsuppium.
Fid. Haee sic audivi. numquid me vis ceterum ?
Per. Malo cruciatu ut pereas atque abeas cito.
Fid. Fides non reddis ?
Per, Neque fides neque tibias.

propera igitur fugere hinc, si te di amant.
Fid, Abiero.

flagitio cum maiore post reddes tamen.
Pef\ Quid nunc ? qui in tantis positus sum sententiis,^

' ei sic data esse verba praesenti palam ! 521

atque me minoris facio prae illo, qui omnium

^ Corrupt (Leo): inarUis , . . aencUuis Leo. Leo brackets
following v., 618-520 :

eamne ego sinam impune ? immo etiam si aUerum
tantum perdundumst, perdam potius quam sinam
me impune irrisum esse, hahitum depecuUUui,

S30

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EPIDICUS

Per, Fm the silliest dotard in all Attic Athens, I admit

it ! But you, do you know the music girl Acro-

polistis ?
Girl As well as myself.
Per. Where does she live ?
Girl Fm quite uncertain where to say she does live,

now she*s free.
Per, Eh ? Eh ? You mean to say she's free ? I want

to know who freed her, if you know.
Girl You may hear what I heard. They say that

Stratippocles, the son of Periphanes, had her set

free while he was away.
Per, [aside) Good Lord ! This is terrible, if it's true !

Epidicus has gutted my purse for me, clear as

can be !
Girl This is what I heard, (giggling) There's nothing

else I can do for you ?
Per, (furious) Yes, go and be hanged, and be off with

you, quick !
Girl Aren't you going to give me back my lute }
Per, Neither lutes nor flutes! So huiTy up and get

out of here, if the Lord loves you !
Girl (laughing contemptuously) Go I will. But you'll

give it back later, though, to the tune of a bigger

scandal. [exit.

Per. What now ? I, a man whose name stands so

often in the minutes of the senate,^ to be imposed

upon, in person, publicly ! And yet my case is

not so bad as his, with his being fooled — he with

his reputation for being the maker and framer

^ w. 618-52(>: Shall I let her go unpunished ? No, no,
even if I had to lose the same amount affain, lose it I
would rather than let myself be laughed at with im-
punity, regarded as prey for swindlers !

331

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

legum atque iurum fictor, conditor cluet ;
is etiam sese sapere memorat. malleum
sapientiorem vidi excusso manubrio.

ACTVS IV

Phil, Si quid est homini miseriarum quod miserescat,
miser ex animost.

id ego experior, cui multa in unum locum
confluont, quae meum pectus pulsant simul.
multiplex aerumna me exercitam habet,
paupertas^ pavor territat mentem animi^ 530

neque ubi meas spes collocem habeo usquam muni-

tum locum,
ita gnata mea hostiumst potita^ neque ea nunc ubi
sit scio.
Per, Quis illaec est mulier, timido pectore peregre
adveniens
quae ipsa se miseratur ?
Phil, In his dictust locis habitare mihi

Periphanes.
Per, Me nominat haec ; credo ego illi hospitio

usus venit.
PhiU Pervelim mercedem dare, qui monstret eum mihi

hominem aut ubi habitet.
Per. Noscito ego hanc, nam videor nescio ubi mi vidisse
prius.

estne ea an non east quam animus retur
mens?
Phil, Di boni, visitavi ^ antidhac ?

Per. Certo east ^ quam in Epidauro

pauperculam memini comprimere. 540

* Leo notes lacuna following.
332

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EPIDICUS

of laws and legal principles galore ! He to talk
about his own cleverness, too ! Tve seen hanuners
cleverer than he is> hammers with their handles
off!

ACT IV

ENTER Pkilippa IN GREAT DISTRESS.

Phil. Ah, if human beings are in misery that deserves
commiseration, they are in misery indeed ! I am
experiencing this myself, with so many things at
once pouring in on me and beating on my breast
together. Trouble in every shape keeps me
harassed ! Poverty and terror dismay all the
thoughts of my mind, and not a safe place have
I anywhere to put my hopes in. My daughter is
in the hands of our enemies, and I know not
where she is !

Per, (seeing her, aside) Who's this woman arriving from
abroad in such a flurry and bemoaning her fate ?

Phil. {scanning the houses) They told me it was about
here that Periphanes lived.

Per, {surprised, aside) She spoke my name ; she's in
need of hospitality, I dare say.

Phil, I should be so glad to reward anyone for pointing
him out to me or showing me where he lives.

Per. {aside) I'm trying to recognise her, for it does
seem to me I've seen her before somewhere or
other, {in sudden excitement) Is she the one my
mind tells me she is, or not ?

Phil, (with a start, on catching sight of him) Merciful
heavens I Have I seen * ♦ * before ?

Per, {aside) She is surely the one ♦ ♦ * that poor
girl I remember wronging in Epidaurus.

333

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Phil.

Plane hicine est^ qui mihi in Epidauro primus

pudicitiam pepulit.

Per,

Quae meo compressu peperit filiam quam domi

nunc habeo.

quid si adeam —

Phil

Hau scio an congrediar —

Per,

Si haec east.

Phil

Si is estliomo, sicut

anni multi dubia dant.

Per,

Longa dies meum incertat animum. sin east quam

ineerte autumo^

hane congrediar astu. 545a

Phil

Muliebris adhibenda

mihi malitia nunc est.

Per,

Compellabo.

Phil

Orationis adem contra conferam.

Per,

Salva sis.

Phil

Salutem accipio mi et meis.

Per,

Quid ceterum ?

Phil

Salvos sis : quod credidisti reddo.

Per,

Haud accuso (idem.

novin ego te ?

Phil

Si ego te novi^ animum inducam, ut tu

noveris. 550

Per,

Vbi te visitavi ?

Phil

Inique iniuriu's.

Per,

Quid iam ?

Phil

Quia

tuae memoriae interpretari me aequom censes.

Per,

Commode

fabulata es.

Phil

Mira memoras.

Per,

Te memini —

Phil

£m istuc rectius.

334

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EPIDICUS

PhiL (aside) He certainly is the man that robbed me

of my honour in Epidaurus !
Per, (aside) The one who bore me the daughter I have

in my house this moment ! What if I should

step up —
PhiL (aside) I don't know whether to advance upon

him —
Per. — if she is the one ?
Phil, — if he is the man — and the lapse of all these

years makes that doubtful.
Per, (aside) It*s so long ago, I'm uncertain. But if she

is the one I'm half-ready to pronounce her, I'll

advance upon her warily.
Phil, (aside) Now I must bring my woman's cunning

into play.
Per. (aside) I'll accost her.
Phil, (aside) V\\ arm my tongue against him.
Per. (stepping up to her) Good day to you.
PhiL (primltf) I accept your good wishes for me and

mine, sir.
Per. (smiling) What else }
Phil. Good day to you — I repay your loan.
Per. Your honesty is above reproach. Don't I know

you?
Phil. If I know you, I will persuade myself that you

know me.
Per. Where have I seen you ?
PhiL (lightly) You are shamefully unfair.
Per. Indeed ? How }
PhiL In thinking I should play interpreter for your

memory.
Per, There is point in what you say.
Phil. (smiling) An amazing admission !

Per. I remember you

PhiL There ! That's better !

335

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Per, Meministin —

Phil. Memini id quod memini.

Per, At in Epidauro —

Phil. Ah, guttuia

pectus ardens mi aspersisti.
Per, Virgini pauperculae,

tuaeque matri me levare paupertatem ?
PMl. . Tun is es,

qui per voluptatem tuam in me aerumnam obsevisti
gravem ?
Per. Ego sum. salve.

Phil, Salva sum, quia te esse sal vom sentio.

Per. Cedo manum.
Phil, Aecipe. aerumnosam et miserianmi compotem

mulierem retines.
Per. Quid est quod voltus turbatust tuos ? 560

Pkil, Filiam quam ex te suseepi —
Per. Quid eam ?

Phil, Eductam perdidi.

hostium est potita.
Per, Habe animum lenem et tranquillum. tace.

domi meae eccam salvam et sanam. nam post-
quam audivi ilico

ex meo servo, illam esse captam, continuo argen-
tum dedi,

ut emeretur. ille eam rem adeo sobrie et frugaliter

accuravit, utut ad alias res est impense inprobus.
Phil, Fac videam, si mea, si salva mihi sit.
Per, Eho, istinc, Canthara,

iube Telestidem hue prodire filiam ante aedis meam,

ut suam videat matrem.
Phil, Remigrat animus nunc demum mihi.

IV. 2.

Aero, Quid est, pater, quod me excivisti ante aedis ?
336

yGoogk

EPimcus

Per. Do you remember

PkiL I remember what I remember.

Per. But in Epidaurus

Phil. Ah, you've dashed water on my burning heart !
Per. — a poor girl, and your mother — you remember

how I relieved you in your poverty ?
Phil. Are you the man whose self-indulgence brought

such heavy trouble on me ?
Per. (moved) I am. God save you !
Phil. I am saved, now that I see you are safe.
Per. {warmly) Give me your hand !
Phil. Take it. {as he grasps it) It is the hand of a

sorrowful and wretched woman that you hold.
Per. What is it makes you look so troubled ?

Phil. The daughter I had by you

Per. What about her ?

Phil. I brought her up and — lost her. {crying) She's in

the hands of the enemy.
Per. {cheerily) Set your mind at rest and calm yourself.

Hush, hush ! She's at my house, look ! {pointing)

safe and sound. Why, the moment I heard from

my servant that she was captured, I at once gave

him money to buy her. He managed this matter

prudently and economically, despite his being a

downright rascal in other matters.
Phil. {eagerly) Let me see if she is mine, if my darling

girl is safe !
Per. {calling at door) Hullo ! Canthara ! Tell them to

bring my daughter Telestis out here in front of

the house to see her mother.
Phil. Now at last my spirit returns to me !

Scene 2. enter Acropolistis.

Aero. What did you call me out here for, father ?

337

VOL. II. Z

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Per, Vt matrem tuam 570

videas^adeas^ advenienti des salutem atque osculum.
Aero. Quam meam matrem ?

Per. Quae exanimata exsequitur aspectum tuom.

Phil. Quis istaec est quam tu oaculum mihi ferre iubes ?
Per. Tua filia.

Phil. Haecine ?
Per. Haec.

Phil. Egone osculum huie d«n ?

Per. Quor non, quae ex te nata sit ?

Phil. Tu homo insanis.
Per. Egone ?

Phil. Tune*

Per. Quor?

Phil. Quia ego hanc quae siet

neque scio neque novi, neque ego hanc ooulis vMi
ante hune diem.
Per. Scio quid erres : quia vestitum atque omatum im-
. mutabilem

habet haec,^
Phil. ^ aliter catuli longe olent, aliter sues.^

ne ego^ me nego nosse hanc quae sit.
Per. Pro deum atque homlmun fidem> 580

quid? ego lenocinium facio, qui habeam alienas*
domi

atque argentum egurgitem domo prosus ? quid tu>
quae patrem

tuom vOcas me atque osculare, quid stas stupida ?
quid taces ?
Aero. Quid loquar vis ?
Per. Haec negat se tuam esse matrem.

* Leo notes lacuna following.
« mea B« : sww MSa

^ me nego noase hanc quae sit Leo : ne 6go earn novisse P.

* alienor DovLBA : aUeno& P.
338

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EPIDICUS

Per, To see your mother, to go up to her and greet
her on her arrival, and give her a kiss.

Aero, My mother ? Who ?

Per, (pointing to the astonished PhiUppa) The mother
who has almost given up her life in seeking the
sight of you.

Phil, (to Periphanes) Who is that creature you ask to
kiss me ?

Per, (amazed) Your daughter.

Phil What? She?

Per. She.

Phil, (scornful^) I kiss her ?

Per^ Why not, when she's your own child ?

Phil, Man, man, you're insane !

Per. I ?

Phil, Yes, you.

Per, Why?

Phil, Because I neither know this ^rl, nor recognise
her, nor ever set eyes on her before to-day.

Per, (looking hUmk, then hopefully) I see your mistake —
her changed dress and get-up.

Phil, (with a contemptuous appraisal of Acropolistis)
Puppies and pigs have a very different odour.
I certainly deny recognizing this girl at all.

Per, (violently) Heavens and earth ! What's all this ?
Am I playing the pimp, I with other people's
girls in my house, and absolutely egurgitating
money out of my house ? (to Acropolistis) Here,
you, you that call me your father and kiss me,
why do you stand there like an idiot ? Why are
you silent ?

Aero, (cheerfully)Wh&t do you want me to say ?

Per, This lady denies being your mother.

389
z 2

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Aero, Ne fuat,

si non volt, equidem hac invita tamen ero matris

filia.
non med istanc cogere aequom est meam esse
matrem^ si nevolt.
Per, Cur me igitur patrem vocabas ?
Aero. Tua istaec culpast^ non mea.

non patrem ego te nominem^ ubi tu tuam me

appellas filiam ?
banc quoque etiam^ si me appellet filiam^ matrem

vocem.
negat haec filiam me suam esse; non ergo baec

mater mea est. 590

postremo baec mea culpa non est ; quae didici dixi

omnia.
Epidicus mibi fuit magister.
Per, Perii, plaustrum perculi.

Aero, Numquid ego ibi, pater, peccavi ?
Per, Si hercle te umquam aud ivero

me patrem vocare, vitam tuam ego interimam.
Aerof Non voco.

ubi voles pater esse, ibi esto ; ubi noles, ne fueris
pater.
PkiL Quid, si ob eam rem banc emisti, quia tuam gnatam
es ratus,
quibus de signis agnoscebas ?
Per, Nullis.

Phil, Qua re filiam

credidisti nostram ?
Per. Servos Epidicus dixit mihi.

Phil, Quid si servo aliter visumst, non poteras novisse,
obsecro ? ^

* Corrupt (Leo) : quid ? sic servo visumst ? cUiter non
poteras nosse obsecro ? Langen.
340

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EPIDICUS

Aero. She needn't be, if she doesn't wish. Really
though, I shall be my mother's daughter in spite
of her. It's not fair for me to compel that lady
to be my mother against her will.

Per. Why did you keep calling me father, then ?

Aero, {sweetly) That's your fault, not mine. Shouldn't
I term you father, when you address me as your
daughter? Why, even this lady, too — if she
should address me as her daughter, Pd call her
mother. She says I'm not her. daughter; weD,
then, she's not my mother. In short, this isn't
my fault ; I've only repeated the lesson I learned.
My teacher was Epidicus.

Per, {starting) Oh, confound it ! I've capsized the
cart!

Aero, {solicitously) I haven't done anything wrong, have
I, father }

Per, {with a sfwrt of rage) By the Lord, if I ever hear
you call me father, I'll murder you !

Aero, {patketieally) I won't. When you wish to be
father, be so ; when you don't, don't be.

Phil, Well, if you bought her for this reason, because
you thought she was your daughter, what means
of identification did you have ?

Per, (morose) None.

Phil, What made you believe she was our daughter }

Per, {grinding his teeth) My servant Epidicus told me
she was.

Phil, But even though it seemed otherwise to this
servant, couldn't you recognise her, for heaven's
sake?

341

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Per, Quid ego, qui illam ut primum vidi, numquam vidi

postea ? 600

Phil, Perii misera.
Per, Nefle,mulier. intro abi, habe animum bonum.

ego illam reperiam.
Phil. Hine Athenis civis earn emit Atticus ;

adulescentem equidem dicebant emisse.
Per. Inveniam, tace.

abi modo intro atque banc asserva Circam Solis

filiam.
ego relictis rebus Epidicum operam quaerendo

dabo.
si invenio, exitiabilem ego illi faeiam hunc ut fiat
diem.

ACTVS V

Sir. Male morigerus mi est danista, qui a me argentum
Don petit

neque illam addueit quae empta ex praedast. sed
eccum incedit Epidicus.

quid illuc est quod illi caperrat frons severitudine ?
Ep, Si undecim deos praeter sese secum adducat

luppiter, 610

ita non omnes ex cruciatu poterunt eximere Epi-
dicum.

Peripbanem emere lora vidi, ibi aderat una Apoe-
cides ;

nunc homines me quaeritare credo, senserunt,
sciunt

sibi data esse verba.
Str. Quid agis, mea commoditas ?

842

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EPIDICUS

Per. How, when I never saw her but once ?
Phil. (breaking down) Oh, oh, this is dreadful.
Per. Don't cry, my girl. Go inside, keep your courage

up. {wkh resolution) I will discover her.
Phil, It was someone from here, a citizen of Athens,

that bought her — ^yes, and a young man, so they

said.
Per. Ill find her. Hush ! You just go inside and

keep witch over this Girce,^ this daughter of Sol.

As for me. Til drop everything else and devote

myself to looking for Epidicus. {grimly) If I find

him, 1*11 make this his day of doom. [exeunt.

ACT V

(Several hours have elapsed.)
ENTER Stratippocles from the house of Chaeribulus.

Str. (impatient) That usurer is a most disobliging rascal
— not to come to me for his money or to bring
the girl that was bought at the sale of the booty.
(looking down street) Ah, but there's Epidicus
pacing slowly along! Why is it his brow's so
wrinkled with gloom ?

enter Epidicus.

Ep. (disgustedly) Even if Jupiter should come along
with his eleven gods, not even so, altogether, can
they rescue Epidicus from torture. I saw Peri-
phanes buying straps, and Apoecides was there,
too ; the pair of 'em are hunting me this minute,
I suppose. They have found out, they know
they've been taken in.

Str. (g^ily) How dost thou, old Timeliness ?

* Who knew neither her father nor mother.

343

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAOTUS

Ep, Quod miser.

Sir. Quid est tibi?

Ep, Quin tu mi adomas ad f ugam viaticum^

prius quam pereo ? nam per urbem duo defloccati

senes
quaeritant me^ in manibus gestant copulas secum
simul.
Sir, Habe bonum animum.

Ep, Quippe ego quoi libertas in mundo sitast.

Str. Ego te servabo.

Ep, Edepol me illi melius^ si nacti fuant.

sed quis haec est muliercula et ille gravastellus qui
venit? 620

Str, Hie est danista^ haec ilia est autem^ quam emi de

praeda.
Ep, Haecinest ?

Str, Haec est. estne ita ut tibi dixi } aspecta et con-
templa, Epidice :
usque ab unguiculo ad capillum summumst festi-

vissuma.
estne consimilis quasi cum signum pictum pulchre
aspexeris ?
Ep, Ex tuis verbis meum futurum corium pulchrum
praedicas^
quem Apella atque Zeuxis duo pingent pigmentis
ulmeis.

Str, Di immortales^ sicin iussi ad me ires.'^ pedi-

bus plumbeis ^
qui perhibetur prius venisset quam tu advenisti

mihi.
Dan, Haec edepol remorata med est.

^ plumbeU Brix : pulmunea P.
344

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EPIDICUS

Like most other poor devils.

What's wrong with you ?

Come, furnish me with funds for my flight, will

you, before my doom is sealed. Two de-fleeced

old men are scouring the city for me and carrying

thongs along with 'em, too.

Cheer up.

{dryly) Yes, being a man who has liberty in store

for him !

ril take care of you myself.

Gad ! Tkey will take better care of me, once

they catch me. {looking down street) But who is

this slip of a girl and that grey-headed little chap

coming along ?

{looking, then excitedly) It's the money-lender, and

she, she's the girl I bought at the sale of the

spoils!

{regarding Telestis interestedly) This one here, eh ?

This one. Just the sort I told you, what ? Gaze

on her, contemplate her, Epidicus. Oh, she's

perfectly delightful, from her little finger-tips

to the topmost hair of her head! Isn't it just

like gazing at a beautifully painted picture }

From what you say, my hide is about to be

beautifully painted by Apelles and Zeuxis — ^the

pair of 'em — painted with pigments of elm.

ENTER Usurer and Telestis,

{to Usurer, irritably) Ye immortal gods ! Is this
the way I told you to come to me ? That fabled
fellow with feet of lead ^ would have arrived
before you have.

Gad, sir, it was she {pointing to Telestis) de-
layed me.

1 The (vUusioQ iq obscure.

S45

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Str, Siquidem istius gratia

id remoratu's quod ista voluit^ nimium advenisti

cito. 630

Dan, Age age, absolve me atque argentum numera, ne
comites morer.

Str, Pemumeratumst.

Dan. Tene cruminam ; hue inde.

Sir. Sapienter venis.

opperire, dum efFero ad te argentum.

Dan, Matura.

Sir, Domist.

Ep, Satin ego oculis utilitatem optineo sincere an
parum?
videon ego Telestidem te, Periphanai filiam,
ex Philippa matre natam Thebis, Epidauri satam ?

Tel, Quis tu homo es, qui meum parentum nomen
memoras et meum ?

Ep, Non me nosti ?

Tel. Quod quidem nunc vemat in mentem mihi.

Ep, Non meministi me auream ad te afferre natali die
lunulam atque anellum aureolum in digitum ?

Tel. Memini, mi homo. 64*0

tune is es ?

Ep, Ego sum, et istic frater, qui te mercatust, tuos.

^ alia matre, uno patre.

Tel, Quid pater mens? vivit?

Ep, Animo liquido et tranquillo es, tace.

Tel, Di me ex perdita servatam cupiunt, si vera autumas.

* Leo notes lacuna preceding : {he)m, fn{etuf frater ilU)
utj{iat ?) Leo.

346

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EPIDICUS

Sir. (feasting his eyes on Telestis) Oh well, if you
delayed to please her, to oblige her, you have
arrived too soon.
Usurer Come, come, sir, settle up and count out my
money so as not to make me detain my com-
panions.
Sir. It is all counted out.

Usurer Take this purse ; (handing one to him) put it in it.
Sir. Provident man ! Wait till I bring the money out

to you.
Usurer Be quick about it.

Str, It's in the house, [exit into house of Chaeribulus,
9, (scanning Telestis from head to foot and controlling
himself with difficulty) Do I possess unimpaired
eyesight, or no? Is this Telestis I see, the
daughter of Periphanes and Philippa, bom in
Thebes and begot in Epidaurus ?
el. (surprised) Who are you, sir, that speak of my

parents and me by name }
p. You don't recognise me ?
eL Not so far as I can recollect at present, surely,
p. Don't you remember my bringing you a little
gold crescent on your birthday and a little gold
ring for your finger ?
eL I do remember I Oh, my dear man ! Was that

you?
p. It was, and the man that has bought you is your
own brother by a different mother and the same
father.
d, (eagerly) What about my father ? Is he alive ?
p. (patronizingly) Hush, hush ! Be quite serene and

tranquil.
el. It's Heaven's will that I be saved instead of lost,
if your words are true !

347

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep. Non habeo ullam occasionem^ ut apud te falsa
fabuler.

Str. Accipe argentum hoc^ danista. hie sunt quadra-
ginta minae.

siquid erit dubium, immutabo.
Dan. Bene fecisti, bene vale.

Sir, Nunc enim tu mea es.
Tel. Soror quid em edepol, ut tu aeque scias.

salve, frater.
Str. Sanan haec est ?

Ep. Sana, si appellat suom.

Str. Quid? ego modo amator sum huic frater factus,

dum intro eo atque exeo ? 650

Ep, Quod boni est id tacitus taceas tute tecum et

gaudeas.
Str. Perdidisti et repperisti me, soror.
Ep. Stultu's, tace.

iibi quidem quod ames domi praestost, fidicina,
opera mea ;

et sororem in libertatem idem opera concilio mea.
Str, Epidice, fateor —
Ep, Abi intro ac iube huic aquam calefieri

cetera haec posterius faxo scibis, ubi erit otium.
Str. Sequere hac me, soror.
Ep. Ego ad vos Thesprionem iussero

hue transire. sed memento, si quid saevibunt senes,

suppetias mihi cum sorore ferre.

348

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EPIDICUS

(dignified) I have no occasion to tell you false-
hoods.

RE-ENTER Stvatippocles^ WITH PURSE.

Take the money, my man. Here are one hundred
and sixty pounds. Any questionable coin Til
exchange.

Usurer {taking the purse and counting the money as he goes)
Thanks. Good-bye and good luck to you, sir.

[exit.
(to Telestis rapturously) Well, now you are mine !
(happily) Yes, indeed, your sister, that is — that you
may know what I know. God bless you, brother !
(to Epidicus) Is she sane ?

(coolly) Quite so, if it is her brother she addresses.
What? I, just now her lover, changed to her
brother while I step in and out of the house }
(reprovingly) Take your good luck quietly, keep
it quiet, and rejoice.

(with a sigh) You have both lost and found me,
sister.

Hush ! You're a fool ! Why, you have an object
for your affections — ^the music girl — ready to hand
at home, thanks to me. And thanks to me again,
your sister is set at liberty.

(apologetically) Epidicus, I admit

(brusquely) In with you and order some water to be

heated for this young lady. I will let you know

about the rest of this business later when I am at

leisure.

(going toward his house) Come this way with me,

sister.

(seeing them to the door) 1 will give Thesprio orders

to join you here. Remember though, if the old

men get at all savage, you and your sister are to

succour me.

349

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

tStr. Facile istuc erit.

Ep. Thesprio, exi istac per hortum^ adfer domum

auxilium mihi^ 660

magnast res. minoris multo facio quam dudum
senes.

remeabo intro, ut accurentur advenientes hospites.

eadem haec intus edocebo quae ego scio Stratip-
poclem.

non fugio^ domi adesse certumst. neque ille baud
obiciet mihi

pedibus sese provocatum. abeo intro, nimis Ion-
gum loquor.

V. 2.

Per, Satine illic bomo ludibrio nos vetulos decrepitos
duos
babet ?
Ap, Immo edepol tu quidem miserum med babes

miseris modis.
Per, Tace sis, modo sine me hominem apisci.
Ap, Dico ego tibi iam, ut scias :

alium tibi te comitem meliust quaerere. ita, dum

te sequor,
lassitudine invaserunt misero in genua flemina. 670

Per. Quot illic bomo bodie me exemplis ludificatust
atque te,
ut illic autem exenteravit mibi opes argentarias !
Ap, Apage ilium a me, nam ille quidem Volcani iratist
filius :
quaqua tangit, omne amburit, si astes, aestu cale-

facit.
350

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EPIDICUS

S'/r. That will be easy.

[exeunt Straiippocles and Telestis,

Ep. (calling at Chaertbuliis*s door) Thesprio ! Go out
the garden way and reinforce me at home, (solilo-
quizing) Big doings ! I mind the old fellows much
less than 1 did a while ago. Til return inside and
attend to the arriving guests. At the same time
ni coach Stratippocles in there on all I know
about this. No running away for me ; my mind's
made up to stay at home. Master shan't throw
it up to me that he was challenged to a foot race.
(moving toward door) In I go ; I'm doing too much
talking. [exit.

>cene 2. enter Peripkanes and Apoecides, the former

FURIOUS, the latter WEARY.

Per, So that rascal is making us two decrepit old
fellows his butts, is he ?

Ap, Good Lord, no! It's you that are making me
miserable with all this miserable business.

Per, Oh, do hold your tongue ! Only let me get my
hands on that fellow !

Ap, {indignantly) I tell you this now for your informa-
tion : you'd better look up another companion
for yourself, (groaning) I've grown so weary
following you about that the swelling in my
ankles has spread to my poor knees.

Per, The number of ways that fellow has made a fool
of me to-day, and of you too ! Yes, and how he
did gut my exdiequer !

Ap, No more of him for me ! Why, it was Vulcan in
his wrath begot that villain : whatever he touches
he consumes entire ; stand near him, and he gets
you boiling hot.

351

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep. Duodecim dels plus quam in eaelo deorumst im-

mortalium

mihi nunc auxilio adiutores sunt et mecum militant.

quidquid ego malefeci^ auxilia mi et suppetiae sunt

domi^

apolactizo inimicos omnis.

Per. Vbi ilium quaeram gentium ?

Ap, Dum sine me quaeras^ quaeras mea causa vel medio

in mari.

Ep, Quid me quaeris ? quid laboras ? quid hunc soUi-

citas ? ecce me. 680

num te fugi^ num ab domo apsum^ num oculis con-

cessi tuis ? ^

nee tibi supplico. vincire vis } em, ostendo manus ;

tu habes lora, ego te emere vidi. quid nunc cessas ?

colliga.

Per. Ilicet, vadimonium ultro mi hie facit.

Ep. Quin colligas ?

Ap. Edepol mancipium scelestum.

Ep. Te profecto, Apoecides,

nil moror mihi deprecari.

Ap. Facile exoras, Epidice.

Ep. Ecquid agis ?

Per. Tuon arbitratu ?

Ep. Meo hercle vero atque hau tuo

colligandae haec sunt tibi hodie.

Per. At rion lubet, non colligo.

* Leo notes lacuna following: ncc mihi gratu's neque
odiosvs neque timorem mi exhihes Leo.
352

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EPIDICUS

ENTER EjndicUS INTO DOORWAY UNSEEN.

Ep, (elated) All the immortal gods in Heaven and
another dozen more are my aids^ adjutants^ and
fellow fighters now! No matter what my mis-
deeds are, I have reserves and support of my own ;
I dismiss all my foes with a farewell kick.

Pei\ Where in the world shall 1 look for him ?

Ap. So long as you look for him without my company,
you can look in the middle of the sea, for all I
care.

Ep, (to Pertphanes, stepping out) Why look for me?
Why trouble yourself? Why bother this gentle-
man ? Behold me, sir ! Have I run off? Am I
away from home ? Have I kept out of your
sight ? I am not on my knees to you, either.
You want to tie me up ? Here, here are my
hands ! {holding them out) You have straps ; T
saw you buy them. Why so backward now ?
Bind me.

Per, {puzzled) It's no use — he even offers me bail of
his own accord.

Ep, Why not bind me ?

Ap, By gad ! a villainous piece of property !

Ep, {ircmically polite) You, certainly, Apoecides — T do
not expect you to beg me off.

Ap, {hitingly) I will meet your expectations readily,
Epidicus.

Ep, {to Periphanes, impatierUly) Well, going to do any-
thing ?

Per, At your wish, eh ?

Ep, Just so, by Jove, at my wish, and not at yours,
are you to bind these hands to-day.

Per. {more puzzled) But I don't choose to, 1 won't bind
them.

358

VOL. II. A A

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ap. Tragulam in te inicere adornat^ nescio quam fabri-

cam facit. 69O

Ep, Tibi moram facis^ cum ego solutus asto. age, in-

quam, coUiga.
Per. At mihi magis lubet solutum te rogitare.
Ep. At nil scies.

Per. Quid ago ?

Ap. Quid agas ? mos geratur.

Ep, Frugi es tu homo, Apoecides.

Per. Cedo manus igitur.

Ep. Morantur nihil, atque arte colliga.

Per. Nihil moror.
Ep. Obnoxiose.

Per. Facto opera arbitramino.

Ep. Bene hoc habet. age nunciam ex me exquire,

rogita quod lubet.
Per. Qua fiducia ausu's primum, quae emptast nudius-

tertius,

filiam meam dicere esse ?

Ep. Libuit : ea fiducia.

Per. Ain tu ? libuit ?

Ep. Aio. vel da pignus, ni ea sit filia.

Per. Quam negat novisse mater ?

Ep. Ni ergo matris filia est, 700

in meum nummum, in tuom talentum pignus da.

Per. Enim istaec captiost.

sed quis east mulier ?
354

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EPIDICUS

Ap. (to Periphanes) He*s making ready to open fire on

you, he's devising some artifice or other.
Ep. (to Periphanes) And you are delaying yourself,

letting me stand here loose. Come on, I tell you ;

bind me I
Per. But I prefer to question you loose as you are.
Ep, But you will learn nothing.
Per. {to Apoecides) What shall I do .^
Ap, Do ? Let him have his way.
Ep. You are a discreet man, Apoecides.
Per, Out with your hands, then.
Ep. (obeying) No delay on their part ' And bind

them tightly, too.
Per. (pulling the thongs viciously) No delay on my

part !
Ep, (scoffingly) You are too timid.
Per. (pulling still harder) You can judge of that when

the job is done, (^finishes the operation as painfully

as possible)
Ep. (scrutinizing the knot) Ah, good ! Come now,

examine me, ask anything you please.
Per. First, on what assurance did you dare tell me

that the girl that was bought the day before

yesterday was my daughter }
Ep. (indifferently) It was my humour — on that assur-
ance.
Per. (angrily) So, you say } Your humour, was it ?
Ep. Just so. Come on, make a bet she is not — a

(slurring the "a'') daughter.
Per. When her mother denies recognising her }
Ep. Well then, make your bet — two hundred pounds

to my two shillings — that she is not her mother s

daughter.
Per I see ! A catch ! But who is this woman }

355

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ep. Tui gnati arnica^ ut omnem rem scias.

Per, Dedin tibi minas triginta ob filiam ?

Ep. Fateor datas

et eo argento illam me emisse amicam fill fidicinam

pro tua filia. is te eam ob rem tetigi triginta minis.
Per. Quo modo me ludos fecisti de ilia conducticia

fidicina ?
Ep, Factum hercle vero, et recte factum iudico.

Per, Quid postremo argento factum est quod dedi ?
Ep. Dicam tibi :

neque malo homini neque maligno tuo dedi Stratip-
pocli.
Per. Quor dare ausu's ?
Ep. Quia mi libitum est.

Per. Quae haec, malum^ impudentiast ? 710

Ep. Etiam inclamitor quasi servos ?
Per. Cum tu es liber, gaudeo.

Ep. Merui ut fierem.
Per. Tu meruisti ?

Ep. Vise intro ; ego faxo scies

hoc ita esse.
Per. Quid est negoti ?

Ep. lam ipsa res dicet tibi.

abi modo intro.
Ap. Ei, non illuc temerest.

Per. Adserva istum, Apoecides.

Ap. Quid illuc, Epidice, est negoti ?
Ep. Maxima hercle iniuria

vinctus asto, cuius haec hodie opera inventast filia.

856

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EPIDICUS

Ep, Your son's mistress^ to inform you fully.

Per, (dangerously) I gave you that hundred and twenty
pounds for my daughter^ did I not ?

Ep, (unruffled) To be sure^ and I took the money and
bought that music girl^ your son's mistress^ in
place of your daughter. I did you out of your
hundred and twenty pounds in the transaction.

Per, Just as you made game of me in the case of that
hired music girl, eh ?

Ep, Gad, yes, so I did, and a good job, too, in my
opinion.

Per. VVhat was done with the last money I gave you }

Ep, I will tell you : (significanify) it was no good-for-
nothing niggard I gave it to, but your son
Stratippocles.

Per, How did you dare give it away ?

Ep, Because it was my humour.

Per, The confounded impudence of the fellow !

Ep, What ! Am I scolded as if I were a slave }

Per. (ironically) I am happy to hear that you are free.

Ep. 1 have deserved to be set free.

Per, You have deserved it — you }

Ep. Go look inside ; you will see it is so, I warrant
you.

Per, What does this mean ?

Ep, The facts will speak for themselves. Just you go
inside.

Ap, (impressed) Go ; it's not for nothing he says that.

Per. Keep your eye on the fellow, Apoecides.

[exit into house.

Ap, What does all this mean, Epidicus ?

Ep, It is a crying injustice, by Jove, for me to be
standing here tied up when, thanks to my
efforts, this daughter of his has been discovered
to-day.

357

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Ap. Ain tu te illius invenisse filiam ?
Ep. Inveni, et domi est.

sed ut acerbum est, pro bene factis cum mali

messim metas.
Ap. Quamne hodie per urbem uterque sumus defessi

quaerere ?
Ep, Ego sum defessus reperire, vos defessi quaerere. 720
Per, Quid isti oratis opere tanto? mi orandum esse

intellego,
ut liceat merito huius facere. cede tu ut exsolvam

manus.
Ep, Ne attigas.
Per, Ostende vero.

Ep. Nolo.

Per. Non aequom facis,

Ep, Numquam hercle hodie, nisi supplicium mihi das,

me solvi sinam.
Per, Optumum atque aequissumum oras. soccos, tuni-

cam, pallium

tibi dabo.

Ep, Quid deinde porro ?

Per, Libei-tatem.

Ep, At postea ?

novo liberto opus est quod pappet.

Per, Dabitur, praebebo cibum.

Ep, Numquam hercle hodie, nisi me orassis, solves.

Per, Oro te, Epidice,

358

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EPIDICUS

Ap, (startled) You say you've discovered his daughter

— you?
Ep. Discover her I did, and she is at home. Ah, the

bitterness of it, when you reap a crop of cruelty

from seeds of kindness !
Ap. You mean the girl we both wore ourselves out in

looking for all over the city to-day ?
Ep, (superior) I wore myself out in finding her, you

wore yourselves out in looking for her.

RE-ENTER Peripkaues,

Per. (to his son and daughter within) What need of all
those entreaties of yours.'* I see it*s from me
must come the entreaties — that 1 may be per-
mitted to do what he deserves, (to Epidicus,
remorsefully) Here, my man, let me untie your
hands.

Ep. {very patient and dignified) Do not touch them.

Per. Come, come, hold them out.

Ep. I have no wish to.

Per. That's not fair of you.

Ep. [in righteous wrath) By the Lord, I will not let
myself be loosed, never, unless you make amends
to me.

Per. {humbly) Perfectly just and fair ! I'll give you
some shoes, a tunic, and a cloak.

Ep. (somewhat interested) Yes, and what besides ?

Per. Your liberty.

Ep. Well, and after that? A new-made freedman
needs pap.

Per. You shall have some ; I'll provide you with
food.

Ep. {sulking again) By the Lord, you shall not loose
me, never, unless you entreat me.

Per. {more humbly) I do entreat you, Epidicus, — to

359

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

mihi ut ignoscas^ siquid imprudens culpa [)eccavi

mea.
at ob earn rem liber esto.
Ep, Invitus do banc veniam tibi^ 730

nisi necessitate cogar. solve sane^ si lubet.

POETA

Hie is homo est qui libertatem malitia invenit sua.
plaudite et valete. lumbos porgite atque exsurgite.

360

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EPIDICUS

forgive me, if I have unwittingly been to blame
and done you an injury. But in recompense,
you are free.
Ep, {loftily) I dislike to pardon you — but circum-
stances compel me. {extending his hands) Very
well, loose me — ^if it is your humour.

[exeunt omnes.

EPILOGUE

{Spoken hy the Author,)

Here is a fellow who won his liberty by his craft.
Give us your applause and fare you well. Stretch
your limbs and rise.

361

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MENAECHMI

THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

yGoogk

ARGVMENTVM

M creator Siculus^ quoi erant gemini filii^

Ei surrupto altero mors optigit.

Nomen surrepticii illi indit qui domist

Avos paternus, facit Menaechmum e Sosicle.

£t is germanum^ postquam adolevit^ quaeritat

Circum omnis oras. post Epidamnum devenit :

Hie fuerat alitus ille surrepticius.

Menaechmum omnes civem eredunt advenam

Eumque appellant meretrix, uxor et socer.

I se cognoscunt fratres postremo invicem. 10

PERSONAE

PENICVLVS PARASITVS

MENAECHMVS^

5-ADVLE8CENTE8
MENAECHMV6J

EROTIVM MERETRIX

CYLINDRVS COCVS

MESSENIO 8ERVVS

ANCILLA

MATRONA

8ENEX

MEDICVS

364

yGoogk

ARGUMENT OF THE PLAY

A Sicilian merchant, who had twin sons, died
after one of them had been stolen. To the boy
who was left at home his paternal grandfather
gave the name of the stolen brother, calling him
Menaechmus instead of Sosicles. And this boy,
after he grew up, began searching for his brother
in every land. At last he comes to Epidamnus :
here it was that his stolen brother had been
brought up. Everyone takes the stranger for
their own fellow-citizen Menaechmus, and he is
so addressed by his brother's mistress, wife, and
father-in-law. At last the brothers recognise
each other.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Peniculus, a parasite.

Menaechmus, a young gentleman living in Epidamnus,
Menaechmus (Sosicles), a young gentleman of Syra-
cuse.
Erotium, a courtesan.
Cylindrus, her cook.

Messenio, slave of Menaechmus (Sosicles),
Maid, in ike service of Erotium.
Wife of Menaechmus.
Father-in-Law of Menaechmus.
A doctor.

365

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PROLOGVS

Salutem primum iam a principio propitiam

mi hi atque vobis, spectatores, nuntio.

apporto vobis Plautum, lingua non manu,

quaeso ut benignis accipiatis auribus.

nunc argumentum accipite atque animum ad-

vortite ;
quam potero in verba eonferam paueissuma.

Atque hoe poetae faciunt in comoediis :
omnis res gestas esse Athenis autumant^
quo illud vobis graecum videatur magis ;
ego nusquam dicam nisi ubi factum dicitur. 10

atque adeo hoc argumentum graecissat^ tamen
non atticissat^ verum sicilicissitat.
huic argumento antelogium hoc fuit ;
nunc argumentum vobis demensum dabo,
non modio, neque trimodio, verum ipso horreo :
tantum ad narrandum argumentum adest be-
nignitas.

Mercator quidam fuit S3rracusis senex,
ei sunt nati filii gemini duo,
ita forma simili pueri, ut mater sua

non intemosse posset quae mammam dabat, 20

neque adeo mater ipsa quae illos pepererat,
ut quidem ille dixit mihi, qui pueros viderat ;
ego illos non vidi, ne quis vostrum censeat.
postquam iam pueri septuennes sunt, pater
oneravit navem magnam multis mercibus ;
366

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Scene : — Epida7nnus. A street in which stand the
houses of Menaechmus and Erotium,

PROLOGUE

First and foremost, spectators, I am the bearer
of the very best wishes for — myself and — you.
I bring you Plautus, orally, not corporally, and
I pray you receive him with amiable ears. Lend
me your attention and learn our argument now ;
I will frame it in the fewest possible words.

Now writers of comedy have this habit : they
always allege that the scene of action is Athens,
their object being to give the play a more Grecian
air. As for me, I will report the scene as being
nowhere, save where, by report, the events
occurred. And though this argument is k la
Greek, yet it is not k T Attic but rather k la
Sicilian. So much by way of antelude to this
argument; now I will give you your rations of
the argument itself, not by the peck or three
peck measure, but by the very granary — such is
my generosity in giving arguments !

There was a certain old merchant in Syracuse
who had twin sons bom him, so much alike that
their foster mother who suckled them could
not distinguish them, nor even their real mother
who gave them birth — so I was told, at least, by
a man who had seen the boys ; I myself have not
seen them, and none of you is to suppose I have.
When the boys were now seven years old, their
father loaded a large ship with many articles of

367

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

imponit geminum alterum in navem pater,

Tarentum avexit secum ad mercatum simul,

ilium reliquit alterum apud matrem domi.

Tarenti ludi forte erant, cum illuc venit.

mortales multi, ut ad ludos, convenerant ; 30

puer aberravit inter homines a patre.

Epidamniensis quidam ibi mercator fuit,

is puerum toUit avehitque Epidamnium.

pater eius autem postquam puerum perdidit,

animum despondit, eaque is aegritudine

paucis diebus post Tarenti emortuost.

Postquam Syracusas de ea re rediit nuntius
ad avom puerorum, puerum sumiptum alterum
patremque pueri Tarenti esse emortuom,
immutat nomen avos huie gemino alteri. 40

ita ilium dilexit, qui subruptust, alterum :
illius nomen indit illi qui domi est,
Menaechmo, idem quod alteri nomen fuit ;
et ipsus eodem est avos vocatus nomine —
propterea illius nomen memini facilius,
quia ilium elamore vidi flagitarier.
ne mox erretis, iam nunc praedico prius :
idem est ambobus nomen geminis fratribus.

Nunc in Epidamnum pedibus redeundum est
mihi,
ut banc rem vobis examussim disputem. 50

si quis quid vestrum Epidamnum curari sibi
velit, audacter imperato et dicito,
sed ita ut det unde curari id possit sibi.
nam nisi qui argentum dederit, nugas egerit ;
qui dederit, magis maiores nugas egerit.
verum illuc redeo UDde abii, atque uno asto in loco.
368

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

merchandise ; one twin he put aboard and took
away with himself to Tarentum, his place of
trade, the other being left with his mother at
home. At Tarentum it happened they were
having a festival when he arrived. Many people
had congregated, as they do at festivals ; the boy
strayed from his father in the crowd. A certain
merchant of Epidamnus was there ; this merchant
picked the boy up and took him off to Epidamnus.
As for the father, after he lost his son he was
broken-hearted and died of grief at Tarentum
a few days later.

When news of all this — ^how the boy was
stolen and his father dead at Tarentum-^got back
to Syracuse to the boys' grandfather, he changed
the name of this other twin. See what a deep
affection he had for that other boy, the stolen
one! He gave that boy's name to the one at
home, calling him Menaechmus, the name of his
lost brother. This was the name of the grand-
father himself, too, — (confidentially) I remember
his name the more easily for having seen him
vociferously dunned. To keep you from going
astray later, I herewith forewarn you — both twins
have the same name.

Now I must (chuckling) foot it back to Epidamnus
so as to clarify this situation for you perfectly.
If any one of you should want any business
transacted for him in Epidamnus, command me
freely and speak out — that is, in case you furnish
the wherewithal for the transaction. For if a
man has not furnished the necessary funds, it will
come to nothing ; if he has furnished them, it will
come to — ^less than nothing. However, I return to
the place I left, yes, and without stirring a step.

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VOL. II. B B

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Epidamniensis ille^ quern dudum dixeram^
geminum ilium puerum qui sumipuit alterum^
ei liberorum, nisi divitiae, nil erat.

adoptat ilium puerum surrupticium 60

sibi filium eique uxorem dotatam dedit^
eumque heredem fecit^ quom ipse obiit diem,
nam rus ut ibat forte^ ut multum pluerat^
ingressus fluvium rapidum ab urbe baud longule^
rapidus raptori pueri subduxit pedes
abstraxitque hominem in maximam malam erucem.
illi divitiae evenerunt maximae.
is illic habitat geminus sumipticius.

Nunc ille geminus^ qui Syracusis habet^
hodie in Epidamnum veniet cum servo suo 70

hunc quaeritatum geminum germanum suom.
haec urbs Epidamnus est^ dum haec agitur fabula ;
quando alia agetur^ aliud fiet oppidum.
sicut familiae quoque solent mutarier :
modo hie habitat^ leno^ modo adulescens^ modo

senex^
pauper^ mendicus^ rex, parasitus, hariolus ^

* hie habitat Schoell : ni caditat P.

* Leo notes lacuna following.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

That Epidamnian I mentioned some time ago,
who stole that other twin, had no children at all
except his money. He adopted that kidnapped
boy and gave him a wife with a dowry, and made
him his heir by his own demise. For he happened
one day to be going to the country after a heavy
rain, and while he was trying to ford a rapid
stream quite near the city, the rapids rapt the
feet of the boy's abductor from beneath him and
swept him off to perdition. His enormous fortune
fell to his adopted son. And there it is (pointing
to house) that this stolen twin lives.

Now that twin whose home is in S3rracuse will
come to-day to Epidamnus, with his servant, in
search of this twin brother of his. This city
{with a wave toward the houses on the stage) is
Epidamnus, during the presentation of this play ;
when another play is presented it will become
another town. It is quite like the way in which
families, too, are wont to change their homes :
now a pimp lives here, now a young gentleman,
now an old one, now a poor man, a beggar, a king,
a parasite, a seer

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ACTVS I

Pen, luventus nomen fecit Peniculo mihi^

ideo quia mensam^ quando edo, detergeo.

homines captivos qui catenis vinciunt

et qui fugitivis servis indunt compedes^ 80

nimis stulte faciunt mea quidem sententia.

nam homini misero si ad malum accedit malum^

maior lubido est fiigere et facere nequiter.

nam se ex catenis eximunt aliquo modo.

turn compediti anum lima praeterunt

aut lapide excutiunt clavom. nugae sunt eae.

quem tu adservare recte, ne aufugiat^ voles,

esca atque potione vinciri decet.

apud mensam plenam homini rostrum deliges ;

dum tu illi quod edit et quod potet praebeas, 90

suo arbitratu adfatim cottidie,

numquam edepol ftigiet, tam etsi capital fecerit ;

facile adservabis, dum eo vinclo vincies.

ita istaee nimis lenta vincla sunt escaria :

quam magis extendas, tanto adstringunt artius.

nam ego ad Menaechmum hunc eo, quo iam diu

sum iudicatus ; ultro eo ut me vinciat.

nam illic homo homines non alit, verum educat,

recreatque ; nuUus melius medicinam facit.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

ACT I

ENTER PeniculuSy LOOKING DEJECTED.

Pen, The young fellows have given me the name of
Brush,* the reason being that when I eat I sweep
the table clean, (with fervour) Men that bind
prisoners of war with chains and fasten shackles
on runaway slaves are awful fools, at least in my
opinion. Why, if the poor devil has this extra
trouble on his shoulders, too, he*s all the keener for
escape and mischief. Why, they get out of their
chains somehow. As for those in shackles, they file
away the ring, or knock the rivet off with a stone.
Nonsensical measures ! The man you really want
to keep from running off ought to be bound with
(sighing) food and drink. A loaded table — (smack-
ing his lips) tie his snout to that ! Just you deal
him out meat and drink to suit his pleasure and
his appetite each day, and he'll never run — Lord,
no ! — no matter if he*s done a deed for hanging.
You'll keep him easily so long as you bind him
with these bonds. They're such extraordinarily
tenacious bonds, these belly-bands : the more you
stretch 'em, the closer they cling. Here's my
case — I'm going to Menaechmus here {pointing to
house), whose bond servant I've been for many a
day, going of my own accord to let him bind me.
Why, (enthusiasticaUy) that man doesn't merely
feed men, he nurtures them and re-creates them ;
a better doctor can't be found. Here's the

* The meaniDg of Penicvlue,

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ita est adulescens : ipsus escae maxumae 100

cerialis cenas dat, ita mensas exstruit,

tantas struices concinnat patinarias :

standumst in lecto^ si quid de summo petas.

sed mi intervallum iam hos dies multos fuit ;

domi domitus sum usque cum caris meis.

nam neque edo neque emo nisi quod est carissu-

mum.
id quoque iam, cari qui instruontur deserunt.
nunc ad eum inviso. sed aperitur ostium.
Menaechmum eccum ipsum video, progreditur

foras.

I. 2.

Men, Ni mala, ni stulta sies, ni indomita imposque animi, 110
quod viro esse odio videas, tute tibi odio habeas,
praeterhac si mihi tale post hunc diem
faxis, faxo foris vidua visas patrem.
nam quotiens foras ire volo,

me retines, revocas, rogitas,
quo ego eam, quam rem agam, quid negoti

geram,
quid petam, quid feram, quid foris egerim.
portitorem domum duxi, ita omnem mihi
rem necesse eloqui est, quidquid egi atque ago.
nimium ego te habui delicatam; nunc adeo ut
facturus dicam.

quando ego tibi ancillas, penum, 1 20

lanam^ aurum, vestem, purpuram
bene praebeo nee quicquam eges, 121

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

sort of young fellow he is : a splendid trencher-
man himself^ he gives you dinners fit for the
festival of Ceres ; piles up the courses so, erects
such heaps of lovely panny things, you must stand
on your couch if you want anjrthing from off the
top. (pauses, then sadly) But for now these many
days there has been a gap in my invitations ; and
all this time IVe kept fast at home with my
{lingeringly) dear ones. For not a thing do I
eat or buy that isn't, oh, so dear ! And now
another point is — these dears Tve marshalled
are deserting me. (^looking towards Menaeckmtis's
house) So here's for a call on him. But the door's
opening ! Aha ! I see Menaechmus himself ! he's
coming out ! (steps back)

Scene 2. enter Menaechmus, followed to the doorway

BY HIS wife.
Men, {angrily) If you weren't mean, if you weren't
stupid, if you weren't a violent virago, what you
see displeases your husband would be displeasing
to you, too. Now mark my words, if you act like
this toward me after to-day, you shall hie your-
self home to your father as a divorcee. Why,
whenever I want to go out, you catch hold of me,
call me back, cross-question me as to where I'm
going, what I'm doing, what business I have in
hand, what I'm after, what I've got, what I did
when I was out. I've married a custom-house
officer, judging from the way everything — all I've
done and am doing — must be declared. I've
pampered you too much ; now then, I'll state my
future policy. Inasmuch as I keep you well pro-
vided with maids, food, woollen cloth, jewel-
lery, coverlets, purple dresses, and you lack for

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

malo cavebis si sapis^

virum observare desines. 1 22

atque adeo, ne me nequiquam serves^ ob earn in-

dustriam
hodie ducam scortum ad cenam atque aliquo con-
dicam foras.
Pen. lUic homo se uxori simulat male loqui^ loquitur
mihi;
nam si foris cenat, profecto me, baud uxorem,
ulciscitur.
Men, Euax, iurgio hercle tandem uxorem abegi ab ianua.
ubi sunt amatores mariti ? dona quid cessant mihi
conferre omnes congratulantes, quia pugnavi for-

titer?
banc modo uxori intus pallam surrupui, ad scortum

fero. 130

sic hoc decet, dari facete verba custodi catae.
hoc facinus pulchrumst, hoc probumst, hoc lepi-

dumst, hoc factumst fabre.
meo malo a mala abstuli hoc, ad damnum deferetur.
avorti praedam ab hostibus nostrum salute socium.
Pen, Heus adulescens, ecqua in istac pars inest praeda

mihi?
Men, Perii, in insidias deveni.

Pe7i . Immo in praesidium, ne time .

Men. Quis homo est ?
Pen, Ego sum.

Men. O mea Commoditas, o mea Opportunitas,

salve.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

nothings you {with emphasis) will look out for
trouble if you're wise, and cease spjdng on your
husband, {in lower tone as his wife goes back inside)
And furthermore, that you may not watch me for
nothing, Fll reward your diligence by taking a
wench to dinner and inviting myself out some-
where.

Pen, {aside, mournfully) The fellow pretends to be abus-
ing his wife, when he is abusing me ; for if he dines
out, it's certainly me, not his wife, he punishes.

Men, {elated) Hurrah ! By Jove, at last my lecture has
driven her away from the door ! Where are your
married gallants ? Why don't they all hurry up
with gifts and congratulations for my valiant fight ?
{showing a woman's mantle worn underneath his cloak)
This mantle I just now stole from my wife inside
there, and (gleefully) it's going to a wench. This
is the way to do — to cheat a cunning gaoler in
such clever style ! Ah, this is a beautiful job, a
handsome job, a neat job, a workmanlike job !
I've done the wretch out of this — (dryly) and done
myself, too ! — and it's on the road to (glancing at
Erotium's house) ruin, (patises, then cheerfully) I
have taken booty from the enemy without loss to
my allies.

Pen, {loudly, from his retreat) Hi, sir ! Is there some
share in that booty for me ?

Men, (startled and covering mantle again) Good Lord !
Detected !

Pen, Oh no, protected ! Never fear !

Men, Who goes there ?

Pen, (stepping forward) I.

Men, (vastly relieved) Ah there, old Timeliness ! Ah
there, old Opportunity ! Good day ! ((Nctends his
hand)

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pen, Salve.

Men, Quid agis ?

Pen. Teneo dextera genium meum.

Men, Non potuisti magis per tempus mi advenire quam

advenis.
Pen, Ita ego soleo ; commoditatis omnis articulos scio. 140
Men, Vin tu facinus luculentum inspicere ?
Pen, Quis id coxit coquos ?

iam sciam^ si quid titubatumst^ ubi reliquias videro.
Men. Die mi, enumquam tu vidisti tabulam pictam in

pariete,
ubi aquila Catameitum raperet aut ubi Venus

Adoneum ?
Pen. Saepe. sed quid istae picturae ad me attinent ?
Men. Age me aspiee.

ecquid adsimulo similiter ?
Pen. Quis istest ornatus tuos ?

Men. Die hominem lepidissimum esse me.
Pen. Vbi essuri sumus ?

Men. Die modo hoc quod ego te iubeo.
Pen. Dico : homo lepidissime.

Men. Ecquid audes de tuo istuc addere ?
Pen, Atque hilarissime.

Men. Perge porro.

Pen. Non pergo hercle, nisi scio qua gratia. 150

litigium tibi est cum uxore, eo mi abs te caveo

cautius.
Men. Clam uxoremst ubi pulchre habeamus atque hunc

comburamus diem.
Pen. Age sane igitur, quando aequom oras, quam mox

incendo rogum ?

378

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Pen, (taking it) Good day, sir.

Men, And what are you doing with yourself?

Pen, Shaking hands with my guardian angel.

Men, You couldn't have arrived at a more fitting time

for me.
Pen, A habit of mine; I know every juncture of

timeliness.
Men, Do you want to set your eyes on a rich treat ?
Pen, What cook cooked it ? I shall know if there has

been a culinary slip as soon as I see the leavings.
Men, Tell me, have you ever seen a wall painting

showing the eagle making off with Catameitus,^ or

Venus with Adonis ?
Pen. Often. But what have such pictures got to do

with me ?
Men, (revealing the mantle) Come, cast your eye on me.

Do I look at all like them ?
Pen, What sort of a get-up is that ?
Men, Say that I'm a splendid fellow.
Pen, (suspiciously) Where are we going to eat ?
Men, Just you say what I command.
Pen, (listlessly) I do— splendid fellow.
Men, Won't you add something of your own ?
Pen, (with a sigh) The jolliest sort of fellow, too.
Men, Go on, go on !
Pen. (indignant) By gad, I will not go on, without

knowing what good it does me. You and your

wife are at odds, so I am on my guard against you

all the more guardedly.
Men, (reassuringly) But there's a place she's unaware

of, where we can have a beautiful time and fairly

bum up this day.
Pen. (eagerly) Come, come, then, by all means ! fairly

spoken ! Now how soon shall I kindle the p3rre }
^ Ganymede, carried up to Jupiter.

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dies quidem iam ad umbilicum est dimidiatus

mortuos. 154, 155

Men. Te morare, mihi quom obloquere.
Pen, Oeulum ecfodito per solum

mihi, Menaeehme, si uUum verbum faxo nisi quod

iusseris.

Men, Concede hue a foribus.

Pen, Fiat.

Men, Etiam concede hue.

Pen, Licet.

Men, Etiam nunc concede audacter ab leonino cavo.

Pen, Eu edepol ne tu, ut ego opinor, esses agitator

probus. 1 60

Men, Quidum ?

Pen, Ne te uxor sequatur, respectas identidem.

Men, Sed quid ais }

Pen, Egone? id enim quod tu vis, id aio atque id nego.

Men, Ecquid tu de odore possis, si quid forte olfeceris,

facere coniecturam ? ^
Pen, captum sit collegium.

Men. Agedum odorare banc quam ego habeo pallam.

quid olet } apstines ?
Pen, Summum olfactare oportet vestimentum muliebre,

nam ex istoc loco spurcatur nasum odore inlutili.^
Men, Olfacta igitur hinc, Penicule. lepide ut fastidis.
Pen, Decet.

^ Leo notes lacuna following.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Why the day is half dead already, dead down to

its navel.
Men, You delay yourself by interrupting me.
Pen, Knock my eye clean through its socket, Menaech-

mus, if I utter a single word — without your

orders.
Men. (edging away from his house) Ck)me over here away

from the door.
Pen. (obeying) All right.
Men. (elaborately cautious) Here, still farther.
Pen. Very well.
Men. (still retreating) Be a man — come still farther from

that lioness's lair.
Pen. (laughing) Bravo ! Gad, you certainly would make

a fine charioteer, I do believe.
Men. Why so }
Pen. You look back so often to make sure your wife is

not catching up with you.

Men. But what do you say

Pen. I ? Why, whatever you want — that's what I say

and unsay.
Men. If you happened to smell something, would- the

odour enable you to conjecture ?
Pen. * * * the Board of Augurs should be consulted.
Men. (holding otU the lower edge of the mantle) Come on

now, test the odour of this mantle I have. What

does it smell of? (as Peniculus draws back) Hold-
ing off?
Pen. The upper part of a woman's gown is the part to

sniff ; why, that part there taints the nose with

an odour that's indetergible.
Men. (holding out another part) Sniff here, then, Peni-
culus. What dainty airs you give yourself !
Pen. So I should, (sniffs warily)

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men, Quidigitur? quidolet? responde.

Pen, Furtum, scortum, prandium. 170

tibi fuant
Men, Elocutu*s, nam

nunc ad amicam deferetur banc meretricem Ero-
tium.

mibi^ tibi atque illi iubebo iam adparari prandium.
Pen, Eu.

Men. Inde usque ad diurnam stellam crastinam pota-

bimus.
Pen, Eu,

expedite fabulatu's. iam fores ferio ?
Men, Feri.

vel mane etiam.
Pen, Mille passum commoratu's cantharum.

Men, Placide pulta.

Pen, Metuis, credo, ne fores Samiae sient.

Men. Mane, mane obsecro hercle : eapse eccam exit.

oh, solem vides 179, 180

satin ut occaecatust prae huius corporis candoribus ?

1.3.

Erot, Anime mi, Menaechme, salve.

Pen, Quid ego ?

Erot, Extra numerum es mihi.

Pen, Idem istuc aliis adscriptivis fieri ad legionem solet.

Men, Ego istic mihi hodie adparari iussi apud te proe-

lium. 184, 185

Erot, Hodie id fiet.

Men, In eo uterque proelio potabimus ;

uter ibi melior bellator erit inventus cantharo,
tua est legio : ^ adiudicato cum utro hanc noctem
sies.

^ tua est legio Lindsay : ttiest legio P.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men, Well now? What does it smell of ? Answer.
Pen, A raid ! a jade ! a meal ! I hope you have * * *
Men, Right you are ! Yes, I'll take it to my mistress

Erotium, the courtesan here (pointing) at once.

1*11 order luncheon to be prepared for us imme-
diately, for me and you and her.
Pm. Capital !
Men, Then we'll drink and keep on drinking till the

morrow's star of mom appears.
Pen, Capital ! You talk to the point, {eyeing Erotiums

door wftodously) Shall I knock now }
Men, Knock away, (maliciousli/, as Peniculus hurries to

the door) Or, rather, wait a bit.
Pen, {gloomily) You've put the tankard back a mile.
Men, Knock gently.
Pen, I dare say you fear the door is made of Samian

crockery, (about to knock lustily when the door moves)
Men, (rapturously) Wait, wait, for heaven's sake, wait !

Look ! she's coming out herself ! Ah, you see the

sun — ^is it not positively bedimmed in comparison

with the brilliance of her body }

Scene 3. enter Erotium,

Erot, (fondly) My darling Menaechmus ! Good day !

Pen, What about me ?

Erot, (disdainfully) You don't count.

Pen, [cheerfully) A statement that applies in the army,

too— it has its supernumeraries.
Men, I should like to have a (with a nod at Peniculus)

battle prepared for me at your house there to-day.
Erot, (puzzled, then with a smile) To-day you shall have

one.
Men. In this battle we'll both (indicating parasite) drink ;

whichever proves himself the better tankard

fighter is your army : you be the judge as to —

383

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ut ego uxorem^ mea voluptas^ ubi te aspicio^ odi
male.
Erot Interim nequis quin eius aliquid indutus sies. 190

quid hoc est ?
Men, Induviae tuae atque uxoris exuviae, rosa.

Erot Superas facile, ut superior sis mihi quam quisquam

qui impetrant.
Pen, Meretrix tantisper blanditur, dum illud quod rapiat
videt ;
nam si amabas, iam oportebat nasum abreptum
mordicus. 1 94, 1 95

Men. Sustine hoc, Penicule ; exuvias facere quas vovi

volo.
Pen. Cedo; sed obsecro hercle, salta sic cum palla postea.
Men, Ego saltabo ? sanus hercle non es.
Pen, Egone an tu magis ?

si non saltas, exue igitur.
Men, Nimio ego banc periculo

surrupui hodie. meo quidem animo ab Hippolyta

subcingulum 200

Hercules baud aeque magno umquam abstulit

periculo.
cape tibi banc, quando una vivis meis morigera
moribus.
Erot, Hoc animo decet animatos esse amatores probos.
Pen, Qui quidem ad mendicitatem se properent detru-

dere.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

which you're to spend the night with, (gazing at

her aTooromly) Oh, how I do hate my wife when

I look at you, precious !
Erot, {spying the fringe of the mantle) Meanwhile you

can't keep from wearing part of her wardrobe !

(examining it) What is this ?
Men, {lifting Am cloak) You're arrayed and my wife's ^

raided, rosey.
Erot, (pleased) Oh, of all my lovers you make me love

you most, easily !
Pen, (aside) A courtesan is all cajolery as long as she

sees something to seize upon, {to Erotium) Why,

if you really loved him, you ought to have bitten

his nose off by now.^
Men. (removing his cloak) Hold this, Peniculus ; I want

to make the offering I vowed.
Pen, Give it here; (grinning at him) but do, for heaven's

sake, dance just as you are, with the mantle on,

afterwards, (takes cloak)
Men. (irritably) Dance } I ? Lord, man, you're crazy !
Pen, Which is more so, you or I } If you won't dance,^

take it off, then.
Men. (removing mantle) It was an awful risk I ran

stealing this to-day. It's my opinion Hercules

never ran such a tremendous risk when he got

away with the girdle of Hippolyta. (handing

it to Erotium) Take it for your own, seeing you

are the only living soul that likes to do what I

like.
Erot, {petting him) That's the spirit that should inspire

nice lovers.
Pen, {aside, dryly) At least such as are over-eager to

plunge themselves into beggary.

^ i e. by kissing him passionately.
• The lewd stage dancers {cinaedi) wore the pcdla, •

385

VOL. 11. C C

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. Quattuor minis ego emi istanc anno uxori meae.
Pen, Quattuor minae perierunt plane, ut ratio redditur.
Men, Scin quid volo ego te aeeurare ?
Erot, Scio, eurabo quae voles.

Men, lube igitur tribus nobis apud te prandium accu-
rarier
atque aliquid scitamentorum de foro opsonarier,
glandionidam suillam, laridum pernonidam, 210

aut sineipitamenta porcina aut aliquid ad eum

modum,
madida quae mi adposita in mensa miluinam sug-

gerant ;
atque actutum.
Erot, Licet ecastor.

Men, Nos prodimus ad forum,

iam hie nos erimus ; dum coquetur, interim pota-
bimus.
EroU Quando vis veni, parata res erit.
Men, Propera modo.

sequere tu.
Pen. Ego herele vero te et servabo et te sequar,

neque hodie ut te perdam, meream deorum divi-
tias mihi.
Erot, Evocate intus Culindrum mihi coquom actutum
foras.

I. 4.

sportulam cape atque argentum. eccos tris num-
mos habes.
Cyl, Habeo.
Erot, Abi atque obsonium adfer ; tribus vide quod

sit satis : 220

neque defiat neque supersit.
Cyl, Cuius modi hi homines erunt ?

Erot, Ego et Menaechmus et parasitus eius.
386

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men. I bought that mantle last year for my wife, and
it stood me in sixteen pounds.

Pen, (aside) Sixteen pounds indubitably done for,
according to account rendered !

Men, Do you know what 1 want you to see to ?

Erot, I know. 111 see to what you want.

Men, Well, then, have luncheon prepared for the three
of us at your house, and have some real delicacies
purchased at the forum — (looking amused at the
intent Peniculus) savoury kemelets of pork, dried
hammylets, half a pig's head, or something of the
sort — ^things that make me hungry as a kite when
served up to me well-done. And quickly, too !

Erot, Oh yes, by all means.

Men, We'll go over to the forum. Soon we'll be back
here; while things are cooking we'll employ
the time in drinking.

Erot, Come when you wish ; we'll get ready for you.

Men. Only do hurry, (to Peniculus, unceremcmiously)
Follow me, you. (going)

Peji, (at Ms keels) That I will, by Jove ! Watch you
and follow you, both ! I wouldn't take the
treasures of heaven on condition of losing you
this day. [exeunt.

Erot, (going to her door and speaking to the maids within)
Call my cook Cylindrus out here at once.

Scene 4. enter Cylindrus,

Erot, Take a basket and some money, (counting out some
coins) There ! That's six shillings for you,

Cyl, Right, ma'am.

Erot, Go and get some provisions ; see you get enough
for three — neither too little nor too much.

21, What sort of folks will they be ?
ot, I and Menaechmus and his parasite.

387
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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Cyl

lam isti sunt decern ;

nam parasitus oeto hominum munus facile fungitur.

Erot,

Elocuta sum convivas, ceterum cura.

Cyl.

Licet.

cocta sunt, iube ire accubitum.

Erot

Redi cito.

Cyl

lam ego hie ero.

ACTVS II

Men, S, Voluptas nuUast navitis, Messenio,

maior meo animo, quam quom ex alto procul

terram conspiciunt.
Mes, Maior^ non dicam dolo,

^ si adveniens terram videas quae fuerit tua.

sed quaeso^ quam ob rem nunc Epidamnum veni-
mus ? 230

an quasi mare omnis circumimus insulas ?
Men, S. Fratrem quaesitum geminum germanum meum.
Mes, Nam quid modi futurum est ilium quaerere ?

hie annus sextust postquam ei rei operam damus.

Histros, Hispanos, Massiliensis, Hilurios,

mare superum omne Graeciamque exoticam

orasque Italicas omnis, qua adgreditur mare,

sumus circumvecti. si acum, credo, quaereres,

acum invenisses, si appareret, iam diu.

hominem inter vivos quaeritamus mortuom ; 240

nam invenissemus iam diu, si viveret.

^ Leo brackets preceding quam.
388

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

CyL That makes ten already, ma'am ; for a parasite

easily does the duty of eight men.
Erot I have told you about the guests ; attend to the

rest.
CyL (hustling off importantly) Of course, ma'am. The

meal is cooked ; tell 'em to go in and take their

places.
Erot. Come back quickly.
CyL rU be here directly. [exeunt.

ACT II

{Half an hour has elapsed.)
ENTER Menaechmus Sosicles and Messenio,

FOLLOWED AT DISTANCE BY SLAVES WITH LUGGAGE.

Men.S. There is no pleasure sailors have, in my opinion,
Messenio, greater than sighting from the deep
the distant land.

Mes. (sulky) It's a greater one, to put it plainly, if the
land you see, as you near the shore, was once your
own. But look here, sir, why have we come now
to Epidamnus ? Or are we, like the sea, to go
around all the islands ?

Men. S. To hunt for my own twin brother.

Mes. Well, what's to be the limit to hunting for him ?
This is the sixth year we've been at the job.
Istrians, Spaniards, MassUians, Illyrians, the entire
Adriatic, and foreign Greece ^ and the whole
coast of Italy— -every section the sea washes —
we've visited in our travels. If you were hunting
for a needle you'd have found it long ago, I do
believe, if it existed. It's a dead man we keep
hunting for amongst the living ; why, we should
have found him long ago if he were alive.
^ Magna Graecia.

389

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. S\ Ergo istuc quaero certum qui faciat mihi,

qui sese dicat scire eum esse emortuom ;

operam praeterea numquam sumam quaerere.

verum aliter vivos numquam desistam exsequi.

ego ilium scio quam cordi sit cams meo.
Mes. In scirpo nodum quaeris. quin nos hinc domum

redimus, nisi si historiam scripturi sumus ?
Men, S, Dictum facessas^ datum edis, caveas malo.

molestus ne sis^ non tuo hoc fiet modo.
Mes. Em, 250

illoc enim verbo esse me servom scio.

non potuit paucis plura plane proloqui.

verum tamen nequeo contineri quin loquar.

audin, Menaechme ? quom inspicio marsuppium,

viaticati hercle admodum aestive sumus.

ne tu hercle, opinor, nisi domum revorteris,

ubi nihil habebis, geminum dum quaeres, gemes.

nam ita est haec hominum natio : in Epidamnieis

voluptarii atque potatores maxumi ;

tum sycophantae et palpatores plurumi 260

in urbe hac habitant ; tum meretrices mulieres

nusquam perhibentur blandiores gentium.

propterea huic urbi nomen Epidamno inditumst,

quia nemo ferme hue sine damno devortitur.
Men. S. Ego istuc cavebo. cedo dum hue mihi marsuppium.
Mes. Quid eo vis ?

Men. S. lam aps te metuo de verbis tuis.

Mes. Quid metuis ?

390

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S, Well then, I'm hunting for someone who can
prove that to me, who can say he knows my
brother is dead ; I'll never take up again the task
of hunting for him after that. But failing that,
I'll never abandon it so long as I'm alive. I
alone know how dear he is to me.

Mes, {impatiently) You're hunting for a knot in a
bulrush. Why don't we go back home — that is,
unless we're going to write a book of travels ?

Men.S. {sharply) Do what you're told, eat what you're
given, and beware of trouble. Don't annoy me —
this business will not be conducted to suit you.

Mes, {aside, peevish^) There you are ! Talk like that
shows me I'm a slave. He couldn't make the
case clear more concisely. But just the same I
can't keep from speaking out. {ahvd) Listen
to me, sir, will you? ByJgSffJwnen I inspect the
wallet, our touring fund looks precious summerly.
Unless you return home, by^ad;! warrant you
when your cash gives out while you're hunting
for your twin, you'll certainly have a twinge. I
tell you what, the sort of people you find here is
this : in Epidamnus are the very worst of rakes
and drinkers. And then the swindlers and
sharpers that live in this city, no end to 'em !
And then the harlot wenches — nowhere on earth
are they more alluring, people say ! This city
got its name of Epidamnus for just this reason —
because almost everyone that stops here gets
damaged.

Men.S. {dryly) I shall look out for that. Come, hand the
wallet over to me.

Mes. What do you want with it ?

Men»S, I have my fears of you now, from what you say.

Mes, Fears of what ?

591

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. S. Ne mihi damnum in Epidamno duis.

tu magnus amator mulierum es, Messenio,

ego autem homo iracundus, animi perditi ;

id utrumque, argentum quando habebo^ cavero, 270

ne tu delinquas neve ego irascar tibi.
Mes. Cape atque serva. me lubente feceris.

II. 2.

C^L Bene opsonavi atque ex mea sententia,

bonum anteponam prandium pransoribus.
sed eceum Menaeehmum video, vae tergo meo,
prius iam convivae ambulant ante ostium^
quam ego opsonatu redeo. adibo atque alloquar.
Menaechme^ salve.

Men, S, Di te amabunt quisquis es.

Ct/L Quisquis ^ quis ego sim }

Men, S, Non hercle vero.

C^/, Vbi convivae ceteri ? 280

Men, S, Quos tu eonvivas quaeris ?

C^/. Parasitum tuom.

Men, S, Meum parasitum ? certe hie insanust homo.

Mes, Dixin tibi esse hie sycophantas plurumos ? *

Men, S. Quem tu parasitum quaeris, aduleseens, meum ?

Ct/l, Peniculum.

Mes. Eceum in vidulo salvom fero.

^ Leo notes lacuna following : quisquis sum ? non tu scis,
Menaechme, quis ego sim ? Leo.

* Leo notes lacuna following.
392

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S. Of your doing me some damage in Epidamnus.
You, Messenio, are a great lover of the ladies,
while I am a chmeric man, of ungovernable
temper ; so long as I hold the money Til guard
against both dangers — a slip on your part, and
resultant choler on my own.

Mes. (handing him the fvallet, aggrieved) Take it and
keep it, do. Delighted that you should.

Scene 2. enter Cylindrus with provisions.

CyL {stopping and examining the contents of his basket
approvingly) Good marketing, this, and just to my
taste, too. I'll set a good lunch before the
lunch ers. (looking about) Hullo, though ! There's
Menaechmus ! Oh, my poor back ! The guests
are strolling about in front of the door before
I'm back with the provisions ! I'll up and speak
to him. (approaches) Good day, Menaechmus.

Men.S, (surprised) The Lord love you, my man, whoever
you are I

Cyl, (surprised in turn) Whoever ? Who I am ?

Men,S. Gad! Indeed I don't know !

Cyl. (deciding he jokes) Where are the other guests ?

Men.S, What guests are you looking for ?

Cyl. (grinning) Your parasite.

Men.S. My parasite ? (to Messenio) The fellow is certainly
insane.

Mes. Didn't I tell you there was no end of swindlers
here ?

Men.S. What parasite of mine are you looking for, young
man?

Cyl. Brush.

Mes. Brush .^ I've got that safe in the knapsack.

Look!

393

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Cyl. Menaechme, numero hue advenis ad prandium.

nunc opsonatu redeo.
Men, S. Responde mihi^

adulescens : quibus hie pretiis porci veneunt

sacres smceri ?
Cyl. Nummis.

Men, S, Nummum a me accipe ; 290

iube te piari de mea pecunia.

nam equidem insanum esse te certo scio,

qui mihi molestu's homini ignoto^ quisquis es.
Cyl, Cylindrus ego sum. non nosti nomen meum ?
Men. S. Si tu Cylindrus seu Coriendrus, perieris.

ego te non novi, neque novisse adeo volo.
Cyl. Est tibi Menaechmo nomen, tantum quod sciam.
Men, S, Pro sano loqueris quom me appellas nomine.

sed ubi novisti me ?
Cyl. Vbi ego te noverim,

qui amicam habes eram meam banc Erotium ? 300

Men. S. Neque hercle ego habeo, neque te quis homo sis

scio.
Cyl, Non scis quis ego sim, qui tibi saepissime

cyathisso apud nos, quando potas ?
Mes, Ei mihi,

quom nihil est qui illi homini diminuam caput.
Men, S. Tun cyathissare mihi soles, qui ante hunc diem

Epidamnum nUmquam vidi neque veni ?
CyL Negas ?

Men. S. Nego hercle vero.
Cyl. Non tu in illisce aedibus

1 habitas ?
Men. S, Di illos homines, qui illie habitant, perduint.

Cyl. Insanit hie quidem, qui ipse male dieit sibi.

audin, Menaechme ?

* Corrupt (Leo) tViabea Seyffert.
394

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Cyl. {paying no attention to him) You've come here to

lunch too soon^ Menaechmus. Fm just getting

back with the provisions.
Men.S, (gravely) Answer me this, young man : how much

do pigs cost here, sound pigs, for sacrifice ?
Cyl. (mystt-fled) Two shillings.
Men.S. Take two shillings from me ; get yourself purified

at my expense. For really it's quite clear you

are insane — to bother an unknown man like me,

whoever you are.
Cyl. But I'm Cylindrus. Don't you know my name ?
Men.S. {bored) Whether you are Cylindrus or Pistonus,

be hanged to you I I don't know yon, and more

than that, I have no wish to know you.
Cyl. Your name is Menaechmus, at least as far as I

know.
Men. S. You talk rationally when you call me by name.

But where did you know me ?
Cyl. Where did I know you, when my mistress is your

sweetheart Erotium here ? {indicating house)
Men.S. Noflnine, by gad ! And as for you, 1 don't know

who you are.
Cyl. Dorl't know who I am, I, who serve you your

wine'so often when you are drinking there ?
Mes. {hotly) Oh, blast it ! Not to have a thing to

smash in the fellow's head with !
Men.S. You accustomed to serve me my wine, when I

never saw or set foot in Epidamnus before this day?
Cyl. You deny it ?
Men.S. Gad ! Indeed I do deny it !
Cyl. Don't you live in that house yonder ?
Men.S. {wrathful) Heaven's curse light on those that do

live there !
Cyl. (aside) He's the insane one, to be cursing his own

self ! (aloud) Listen here^ Menaechmus.

395

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. S. Quid vis ?

Ci/l. Si me consulas, 310

nummum ilium quern mihi dudum pollieitu's dare —

nam tu quidem herele eerto non sanu's satis,

Menaeehme, qui nunc ipsus male dieas tibi —

iubeas, si sapias, poreulum adferri tibi. 314, 315

Mes, Eu herele hominem multum, et odiosum mihi.
Cyl, Solet iocari saepe mecum illoc modo.

quam vis ridiculus est, ubi uxor non adest.

quid ais tu }
Men, S, Quid vis, inquam.

Ci/l. Satin hoc quod vides

tribus vobis opsonatumst, an opsono amplius, 320

tibi et parasito et mulieri ?
Men. S. Quas ^ mulieres,

quos tu parasitos loquere ?
Mes. Quod te urget scelus,

qui huie sis molestus ?
Cyl. Quid tibi mecum est rei ?

ego te non novi ; cum hoc quem novi fabulor.
Mes. Non edepol tu homo sanus es, certo scio.
Cyl. lam ergo haec madebunt faxo, nil morabitur.

proin tu ne quo abeas longius ab aedibus.

numquid vis ?
Men. S. Vt eas maximam malam crucem.

Cyl. Ire herele meliust te interim atque accumbere,

dum ego haec appono ad Volcani violentiam. 330

ibo intro et dicam te hie adstare Erotio,

ut te hinc abducat potius quam hie adstes foris.
Men. S. lamne abiit illic ? edepol haud mendacia

tua verba experior esse.

oQf* ^ Leo brackets following tu.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S, What is it?

Ci/L If you asked my advice, sir, you'd take that two
shillings you recently promised me — ^for, by gad,
it's certainly you that are lacking in sanity, to
curse your own self a moment ago — and order a
porker to be brought to ^ou, if you have any sense.

Mes. Hear that I By gad, what a windy chap ! He
makes me tired.

C^/. (to audience) He often likes to joke with me this
way. He's ever so humorous— when his wife's
not by. (to Menaechmus) I say, sir.

Men.S. Well, what do you want ?

CyL (poifUing to basket) Are these provisions you see
enough for the three of you, or shall I get more,
for you and the parasite and the lady ?

Men.S, What ladies, what parasites, are you talking about,
man ?

Mes. What possesses you, to bother this gentleman ?

Ci/L {to Messenio, irately) What have you to do with
me } I don't know you ; I'm talking with this
gentleman I do know.

Mes. Lord, man, you're not sane ; I know that for sure.

Cyl. (to Menaechmus) Well, sir, these things shall be
cooked directly, I promise you, without delay.
So don't wander too far from the house, (about
to go) Anything more I can do for you ?

Men.S. Yes, go straight to the devil, (turns away)

Cyl. (vehemently) By gad, you'd better go, meanwhile,
yourself — to the couch, while I (superbly, with a wave
toward the basket) expose these things to Vulcan's
violence. I'll go inside and tell Erotium you're
here, so that she may bring you in rather than
leave you standing here outside. [exit.

Men.S. Gone now, has he? By Jove! I perceive those
statements of yours were no lies.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Mes. Observato modo ;

nam istic meretricem credo habitare mulierem,

ut quidem ille insanus dixit, qui hinc abiit modo.
Men, S, Sed miror qui ille noverit nomen meum.
Mes, Minime herele mirum. morem hune meretriees
habent :

ad portum mittunt servolos, aneillulas ;

si quae peregrina navis in portum advenit, 340

rogitant cuiatis sit, quid ei nomen siet,

postilla extemplo se applicant, agglutinant.

si pellexerunt, perditum amittunt domum.

nunc in istoc portu stat navis praedatoria,

aps qua cavendum nobis sane censeo.
Men, S, Mones quidem herele recte.
Mes. Tum demum sciam

recte monuisse, si tu recte caveris.
Men, S, Tace dum parumper, nam concrepuit ostium :

videamus qui hinc egreditur. .
Mes, Hoc ponam interim.

asservatote haec sultis, na vales pedes. 350

II. 3.

Erot, Sine fores sic, abi, nolo operiri.

intus para, cura, vide,

quod opust fiat,
stemite lectos,

incendite odores ; munditia
inlecebra animost

amantium. 354, 355

amanti amoenitas malost, nobis lucrost.
sed ubi ille est, quem eoquos ante aedis esse ait ?

atque eccum video,
398

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Mes. Just you keep your eyes open ; for I do believe
some harlot wench lives there, precisely as that
madman, who just now left us^ said.

Men,S. But I wonder how he knew my name ?

Mes. (with an air of vaMly superior wisdom) Lord, sir,
nothipg wonderful in that! This is a custom
harlots have : they send their artful slaves and
maids down to the port ; if any foreign ship comes
in, they inquire where she hails from and what
her owner's name is, and then they immediately
affix themselves, glue themselves fast to him.
Once he's seduced, they send him home a wreck.
Now in that port there {pointing to Erotiums kotise)
lies a pirate bark that I surely think we'd better
beware of.

Men.S. Gad, that's certainly good advice you give.

Mes, {dissatisfied) I'll know it's good advice when you
take good care, and not before.

Men.S, {listening) Sh-h ! Keep still a moment! The
door creaked — ^let's see who is coming out.

Mes, {dropping the knapsack) Meanwhile I'll put this
down. {to the sailors, superciliously, pointing to
luggage) Kindly watch this stuff, ye ship pro-
pellers.

Scene 3. enter Erotium into the doorway.

Erot, (to maids within) Leave the door so ; go along, I
don't want it shut. Get ready inside, look out
for things, see to things, do what's necessary.
{to other maids) Cover the couches, bum some
periiimes ; daintiness is what lures lovers' hearts.
Attractive surroundings mean the lovers' loss and
our gain, (looking about) But where is that man
the cook said was in front of the house ^ Ah yes.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

qui mi est usui et plurimum prodest.
item hine ultro fit, ut meret, potissimus
nostrae domi ut sit ;
nunc eum adibo, adloquar ultro. 360

animule mi, mihi mira videntur,
te hie stare foris, fores quoi pateant,
magis quam domus tua domus quom haec

tua sit.
omne paratumst, ut iussisti
atque ut voluisti, neque tibi
ulla morast intus.
prandium, ut iussisti, hie euratumst ;
ubi lubet, ire licet accubitum.
Men, S, Quicum haec mulier loquitur .'*
EroL Equidem tecum.

Men. S. Quid mecum tibi

fuit umquam aut nunc est negoti ?
Erot. Quia pol te unum ex omnibus 370

Venus me voluit magnificare, neque id baud im-

merito tuo.
nam ecastor solus benefactis tuis me florentem facis.
Men, S. Certo haec mulier aut insana aut ebria est, Mes-
senio,
quae hominem ignotum compellet me tam famili-
ariter.
Mes. Dixin ego istaec hie solere fieri ? folia nunc cadunt,
praeut si triduom hoc hie erimus ; tum arbores in

te cadent.
nam ita sunt hie meretrices: omnes elecebrae

argentariae.
sed sine me dum banc compellare. heus mulier,

tibi dico.
400

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

I see him — ^it's the friend I find so useful, so
uncommonly helpful. And accordingly I let him
quite lord it in my house as he deserves. I'll
step up to him at once and give him a welcome.
(a'pproaching Menaechmus) Why, you darling boy,
it surprises me that you should stand here out-
doors when my doors are open for you and this
house is more yours than your own house is.
Everything is ready as you ordered and wished,
and you'll meet with no delay inside. Our
luncheon here has been seen to, as you ordered ;
you may go in and take your place when you
like.

Men.S, (to Messenioy mystified) To whom is this woman
talking ?

Erot. {surprised) To you, of course.

Men.S. What have you had to do with me, now or ever?

Erot. (gaily, thinking he jests) Why, bless your heart, it
has pleased Venus that I should prize you as the
one man of men — and not without your deserving
it. For, mercy me ! you alone, with all your
generosity, make me prosper.

Men.S. (aside to Messcnio) This woman is certainly either
insane or drunk, Messenio, to address a stranger
like me so familiarly.

Mes. Didn't 1 tell you that was the way they did here ?
These are mere falling leaves compared with
what'U happen if we stay here the next three
days ; then trees will fall on you. Yes, sir,
harlots are like that here — they're all silver
seductresses. But you just let me have a word
with her. (to Erotium, who has been looking in at
her door) Hey there, madam ! I am speaking to
you.

401

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Erot. Quid est?

Mes, Vbi tu hunc hominem novisti ?

EroU Ibidem ubi hie me iam diu^

in Epidamno.
Mes. In Epidamno ? qui hue in banc urbem pedem^ 380

nisi hodie, numquam intro tetulit ?
Erot. Heia^ delicias facis.

mi Menaechme, quin^ amabo^ is intro ? hie tibi erit
reetius.
Men, S, Haee quidem edepol recte appellat meo me mulier
nomine,
nimis miror^ quid hoc sit negoti.
Mes. Oboluit marsuppium

huic istuc quod habes.
Men. S. Atque edepol tu me monuisti probe,

accipe dum hoc. iam scibo^ utrum haec me mage
amet an marsuppium.
Erot, Eamus intro^ ut prandeamus.

Men. S. Bene vocas ; tam gratiast.

Erot, Cur igitur me tibi iussisti coquere dudum pran-

dium?
Men. S. Egon te iussi coquere ?

Erot. Certo^ tibi et parasito tuo.

Men. S. Cui^ malum^ parasito ? certo haec mulier non

sanast satis. 390

Erot. Peniculo.
Men. S. Quis iste est Peniculus ? qui extergentur

baxeae ?
Erot. Scilicet qui dudum tecum venit^ quom pallam mihi

detulisti^ quam ab uxore tua surrupuisti.
Men.S. Quid est?

tibi pallam dedi^ quam uxori meae surrupui?

sanan es?
certe haec mulier cantherino ritu astans somniat.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Erot. What is it?

Mes. Where did you know this gentleman r

Erot. In the same place where he has long known me,

in Epidamnus.
Mes. Epidamnus ? When hc*s never set foot in this

town except to-day ?
Erot, Tut^ tut, my smart sir ! Menaechmus mine, come

inside, why don't you, there's a dear. You'll find

it nicer in here.
Men.S. (aside to Messenio) Good Lord! Now here's this

woman calling me by my right name ! I certainly

do wonder what in the world it all means.
Mes. She's scented the wallet you have.
Men.S. By Jove, yes, you have warned me wisely ! Here,

you take it. (hands wallet to Messenio) Now I'll

know whether it's me or my wallet she's in love

with.
Erot. (taking his arm) Let's go in and have luncheon.
Men.S. (puzzled) Very kind of you ; no, thanks.
Erot. 'Then why did you order me to cook luncheon for

you a while ago ?
Men.S. I ordered you to cook it?
Erot. Certainly, for you and your parasite.
Men.S. What parasite, confound it? (aside to Messenio)

There's certainly something wrong with the

woman's wits.
Erot. Brush, I mean.
Men.S. What brush is that? One you clean your shoes

with?
Erot. Why, the one, of course, that came with you

a while ago when you brought me the mantle you

stole from your wife.
Men.S. What's this ? I gave you a mantle I stole from my

wife ? Are you sane ? (to Messenio) At any rate,

this woman dreams standing up, horse fashion.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Erot. Qui lubet ludibrio habere me atque ire infitias
mihi
facta quae sunt ?
Men, S, Die quid est id quod negem quod fecerim ?

Erot. Pallam te hodie mihi dedisse uxoris.
Men. S, Etiam nunc nego.

ego quidem neque umquam uxorem habui neque

habeo^ neque hue
umquam^ postquam natus sum^ intra portam pene-

travi pedem. 400

prandi in navi^ inde hue sum egressus^ te conveni.
Erot, Eccere,

perii misera^ quam tu mihi nunc navem narras ?
Men. S. Ligneam^

saepe tritam^ saepe fixam^ saepe excussam malleo ;
quasi supellex pellionis^ palus palo proxumust.
Erot. lam^ amabo^ desiste ludos facere atque i hac mecum

semul.
Men. S, Nescio quem^ mulier^ alium hominem^ non me

quaeritas.
Erot. Non ego te novi Menaechmum, Moscho prognatum
patre,
qui Syracusis perhibere natus esse in Sicilia^
ubi rex Agathocles regnator fuit et iterum

Phintia, 409,410

tertium Liparo, qui in morte regnum Hieroni

tradidit^
nunc Hiero est ?
Men. S. Hand falsa^ mulier, praedicas.

Mes. Pro luppiter,

num istaec mulier illinc venit, quae te novit tam
cate?
Men. S. Hercle opinor, pernegari non potest.
Mes. Ne feceris. 4 1 4^ 4 1 5

periisti, si intrassis intra limen.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Erot (a little irritated) Why is it you like to make a
laughing-stock of me and deny what you did ?

Men.S, Tell me what it is I did and deny.

Erot, Giving me your wife's mantle to-day.

Men.S, I deny it still. Why, I never had a wife, and
have none now, and never from the day I was
bom have I put a foot within your city gate here.
I lunched on board ship, then came ashore here,
and met you.

Erot. (aside, alarmed about him) Look at that ! Oh dear,
this is dreadful ! (to Menaeckmus) What is this
ship you're telling me of ?

Men.S. (flippantly) A wooden affair, often battered about,
often nailed, often pounded with a hammer ; it's
like a furrier's furniture, peg close to peg.

Erot. (relieved by his jocularity and drawing him toward
tier door) Now, now, do stop joking, there's a
dear, and come along this way with me.

Men.S. (releasing himself) It is some other man you are
looking for, madam, not me.

Erot. I not know you- — (playfully, as if repeating a lesson)
Menaechmus, the son of Moschus, bom, so they
say, in Sjrracuse in Sicily, where King Agathocles
reigned, and after him Phintia, and thirdly Liparo,
who at his death left his kingdom to Hiero, the
present ruler ?

Men.S. (more perplexed) You are quite correct, madam.

Mes. (aside, to Menaechmus) Great Jupiter ! The woman
doesn't come from there, does she, to have your
history so pat ?

Men.S. By gad, I fancy I can't go on refusing her.
(moves toward her door)

Mes. (alarmed) Don't do that ! You're lost, if you
cross that threshold !

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. S. Quin tu tace modo.

bene res geritur. adsentabor quidquid dicet mulieri,

si possum hospitium nancisci. iam dudum^ mulier^
tibi

non imprudens advorsabar ; hunc metuebam^ ne

meae 419,4.20

uxori renuntiaret de palla et de prandio.

nunc, quando vis, eamus intro.
EroL Etiam parasitum manes ?

Men, S. Neque ego ilium maneo, neque flocci facio, neque,
si venerit,

eum volo intromitti.
EroL Ecastor baud invita fecero.

sed scin quid te amabo ut facias ?
Men, S, Impera quid vis modo.

Erjyt, Pallam illam, quam dudum dederas, ad phrygionem
ut deferas,

ut reeoneinnetur atque ut opera add^mtur quae volo.
Men, S, Hercle qui tu recte dicis ; eadem ignorabitur,

ne uxor cognoseat te habere, si in via conspexerit.
Erot, Ergo mox auferto tecum, quando abibis.
Men. S, Maxime. 430

Erot. Eamus intro.
Mefi, S. Iam sequar te. hunc volo etiam conloqui.

eho Messenio, accede hue.
Mes, Quid negoti est ?

Men. S, Sussili.^

Mes, Quid eo opust ?
Men, S, Opus est. scio ut me dices.

^ mssUi Bothe : atmciri MSS.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S, See here now, you shut up. Things are going
well, ril assent to whatever the wench says,
if I can come in for entertainment here, (con-
^fidentiaUy to Erotium, motioning Messenio hack) I
kept contradicting you a while ago purposely,
my girl ; I was afraid of this fellow (indicating
Messenio) — that he might inform my wife of the
mantle and the luncheon. Now when you wish
let's go inside.

Erot, Shall you wait any longer for the parasite ?

Men,S, Not I — I neither wait for him nor care a straw for
him, nor want him admitted if he does come.

Erot. Goodness me, TU see to that without reluctance !
(fondling him) But do you know what I should
love you to do ?

Men.S, Whatever you wish — you have only to command
me.

Erot, Take that mantle you gave me a while ago to the
embroiderer, so as to have it repaired and have
some trimmings I want added.

Men.S, Right you are, by Jove ! That will make it look
different, too, and my wife won't recognize it on
you, if she notices it on the street.

Erot, Well then, take it with you later when you leave
me.

Mm,S. By all means.

Erot, Let's go in.

Men.S, V\\ follow you directly. I want another word with
this fellow (indicating Messenio). [exit Erotium,
Hullo ! Messenio ! Step up here.

Mes, (morose) What's all this ?

Men,S, (elated) Dance a jig !

Mes, What's the need of that ?

Men,S, There is need, (rather apologetic) I know what
you'll call me.

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Mes. Tanto nequior.

Men. S, Habeo praedam : tantum incepi opens, ei quan-
tum potes, 4fS4fy 435
abduc istos in tabernam actutum devorsoriam.
turn facito ante solem oceasum ut venias advorsum
mihi.
Mes, Non tu istas meretrices novisti, ere.
Men. S. Tace, inquam ^

mihi dolebit^ non tibi^ si quid ego stulte fecero.
mulier haec stulta atque inscita est; quantum

perspexi modo^ 440

est hie praeda nobis.
Mes. Perii, iamne abis ? periit probe,

dueit lembum dierectum navis praedatoria.
sed ego inscitus qui domino me postulem mode-

rarier ;
dicto me emit audientem^ baud imperatorem sibi.
sequimini^ ut, quod imperatum est, veniam advor-
sum temperi.

ACTVS III

Pen, Plus triginta annis natus sum, quom interea loci,
numquam quicquam facinus feci peius neque

scelestius,
quam hodie, quom in contionem mediam me im-

mersi miser,
ubi ego dum hieto, Menaechmus se subterduxit

mihi
atque abiit ad amicam, credo, neque me voluit

ducere. 450

^ Leo notes lacuna here : {atque hinc M) Ritschl.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Mes, So much the worse of you.

Men.S. The booty's mine ! Such siegeworks as I've
begun ! Be off as fast as you can ; take those
fellows (pointing to sailors) to an inn at once. Then
see you come to meet me before sunset.

Mes, You don't know those harlots, master.

Men.S. Hold your tongue, I tell you. It will hurt me,
not you, if I play the fool. This woman is a fool,
and a silly one; from what I've just observed,
there's booty for us here. [exit into the house.

Mes. (as if to call kirn back) Oh Lord ! You're gone
already ? Lord help him ! The pirate bark is
towing our yacht to perdition. But I'm a silly
one to expect to manage my master ; he bought
me to obey his orders, not to be his commander-
in-chief, (to the sailors) Follow me, so that I can
come to meet him in season as he commanded.

[exeunt^

ACT III

(Several hours have elapsed.)
enter Peniculus.
Pen. (in high dudgeon) More than thirty years I've Uved,
and never in all that time have I done a worse
or more accursed deed than to-day when I im-
mersed myself, poor fool, in the middle of that
public meeting. While I was gaping there,
Menaechmus gave me the slip, and made off to
his mistress, I suppose, without caring to take me

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

qui ilium di omnes perduint, qui primus commen-

tusti
contionem habere, qui homines occupatos oeeupat.
non ad eam rem otiosos homines decuit deligi,
qui nisi adsint quom eitentur, census capiat ilico?^
adfatim est hominum, in dies qui singulas escas

edint,
quibus negoti nihil est, qui essum neque vocantur

neque vocant ;
eos oportet contioni dare operam atque comitiis.
si id ita esset, non ego hodie perdidissem prandium, 460
quoi tam credo ^ datum voluisse quam me video

vivere.
ibo; etianmum reliquiarum spes animum oblectat

meum.
sed quid ego video? Menaechmus cum corona

exit foras.
sublatum est convivium, edepol venio adversum

temperi.
observabo, quid agat, hominem. post adibo atque

adloquar.

III. 2.

Men, S. Potine ut quiescas ? ego tibi hanc hodie probe
lepideque concinnatam referam temperi.
non faxo eam esse dices : ita ignorabitur.

Pen. Pallam ad phrygionem fert confecto prandio

vinoque expoto, parasito excluso foras. 470

non hercle is sum qui sum, ni hanc iniuriam
meque ultus pulchre fuero. observa quid dabo.

* Leo notes lacuna here : pnmtLS {hoc) Vahlen.

• Leo notes lacuna following.

' Corrupt (Leo) : credo hcUatum oluisse Schoell.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

along. May all the powers above consume the
fellow that first devised the holding of public
meetings, to busy busy men ! Shouldn't they
choose men with nothing to do for that sort of
thing, and fine 'em forthwith if they fail to
appear at the roll call ? There's a plenty of men
that get edibles to eat only once a day, men with
no business on hand, men that are neither invited
out nor invite anyone in to eat : they're the ones
that ought to devote themselves to public meet-
ings and assemblies. If this had been the rule,
I shouldn't have lost my lunch to-day — for sure
as I'm alive 1 believe he was willing to give me
one. I'll join him ; even now I have my sweet
hopes of the leavings. {goes toward Erotiums
house as Menaechmus Sosicles comes into the doonvai/,
wreathed and carrying the mantle) But what do I
see ? Menaechmus coming out with a garland
on ! (grimly) The banquet's cleared away, and,
by gad, I've come just in time to see him home !
(withdrawing) I'll observe what the fellow's up to.
Then I'll up and have a word with him.

Men.S, (to Erotium within) Can't you rest easy ? I'll bring
this back to you to-day in good season, all put in
trim nicely and prettily, {chuckling to himself)
You'll say you haven't got this one, I warrant, —
it will look so unfamiliar.

Pen, (aside, angrily) He's carrying the mantle to the
embroiderer's, now the lunch is finished and the
wine drunk, while the parasite's been shut out
of doors ! By heaven, I'm not the man I am
if I don't avenge this injury and myself in
beautiful style ! You watch what I'll give you !

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Men, S, Pro di immortales^ quoi homini umquam uno die

boni dedistis plus, qui minus speraverit ?

prandi, potavi, scortum accubui, apstuli

banc, quoius heres numquam erit post bunc diem.
Pen. Nequeo quae loquitur exaudire elanculum ;

satur nunc loquitur de me et de parti mea ?
Men. S, Ait banc dedisse me sibi, atque eam meae 479^ 48 O

uxori surrupuisse. quoniam sentio

errare, extemplo, quasi res cum ea esset mibi,

coepi adsentari ; mulier quidquid dixerat,

idem ego dicebam. quid multis verbis opust ?

minore nusquam bene fiii dispendio.
Pen. Adibo ad hominem, nam turbare gestio.
Men. S. Quis hie est, qui adversus it mihi ?
Pen. Quid ais, homo

levior quam pluma, pessime et nequissime,

flagitium hominis, subdole ac minimi preti ?

quid de te merui, qua me causa perderes ? 490

ut surrupuisti te mihi dudum de foro !

fecisti ^nus med absente prandio.

cur ausu's facere, quoi ego aeque heres eram ?
Men. S. Adulescens, quaeso, quid tibi meciun est rei,

qui mihi male dicas homini ignoto insciens ?

an tibi malam rem vis pro male dictis dari ?
Pen. 1 Pol eam quidem edepol te dedisse intellego.
Men. S. Responde, adulescens, quaeso, quid nomen tibist ?
Pen. Etiam derides, quasi nomen non noveris ?
Men. S. Non edepol ego te, quod sciam, umquam ante hunc

diem 500

^ Corrupt (Leo) : quidem modo te Schoell.
412

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men, S, {leaving the doorway y jubilant) Ye immortal gods !
Did ye ever in a single day bestow more blessings
on any man who hoped for less ? Fve lunched,
drunk, enjoyed the wench, and made off with this
mantle whose owner will never see it more.

Pen, (aside) I can't quite catch what he's talking about
from this hiding-place ; is it about me and the
part I played, now that he's stuffed himself ?

Men,S, She said I gave this to her, yes, and stole it from
my wife ! Seeing she was making a mistake, I
at once began to agree with her, as if I had had
dealings with her ; whatever she said, I'd say the
same. In short, I never had a good time any-
where at less expense.

Pen. {aside, his anger rising) I'll up to the fellow ! Oh,
I'm aching for a row ! (steps forward)

Men,S. (aside) Who's this advancing on me ?

Pen, See here, you rascal lighter than a feather, you
base, villainous scoundrel, you outrage of a man,
you tricky good-for-nothing ! What have I . ever
done to you that you should spoil my life } How
you sneaked off from me at the forum a while
ago ! You've interred the luncheon, and I not
there ! How did you dare do it, when I was as
much its heir as you ?

Men.S, (with dignity) Sir, what have you to do with me,
pray, that I, a perfect stranger, should meet with
your abuse ? (dangerously) Or do you want to be
given a bad time in return for this bad language }

Pen, (groaning) Oh Lord ! You've given me that
already, I perceive, good Lord, yes !

Men,S, Pray answer me, sir, what is your name }

Pen, What ? Making fun of me, as if you didn't know
my name ?

Men,S, Good Lord, man, I have never seen you or known

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vidi neque novi ; verum certo, quisquis es,

si aequom facias^ mihi odiosus ne sies.
Pen. Menaechme, vigila.

Men. S. Vigilo hercle equidem, quod sciam.

Pen. Non me novisti ?

Men. S. Non negem^ si noverim.

Pen. Tuom parasitum non novisti ?
Men. S, Non tibi

sanum est^ adulescens^ sinciput^ intellego.
Pen. Responde^ surrupuistin uxori tuae

pallam istanc hodie atque dedisti Erotio ?
Men. S. Neque hercle ego uxorem habeo neque ego Erotio

dedi nee pallam surrupui.
Pen. Satin sanus es ? 510

occisast haec res. non ego te indutum foras

exire vidi pallam ?
Men, S. Vae eapiti tuo.

omnis einaedos esse censes^ tu quia es ?

tun med indutum fuisse pallam praedieas? 514^ 515

Pen. Ego hercle vero.
Men. S. Non tu abis quo dignus es ?

aut te piari iube, homo insanissime.
Pen. Numquam edepol quisquam me exorabit, quin tuae

uxori rem omnem iam^ uti sit gesta^ eloquar ;

omnes in te istaec recident contumeliae ; 520

faxo haud inultus prandium comederis.
Men. S. Quid hoc est negoti ? satine, ut quemque conspicor,

ita me ludificant ? sed concrepuit ostium.

III. 3.

Anc. Menaechme, amare ait te multum Erotium^

ut hoc una opera sibi ad aurificem deferas^

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

you before this day, so far as I know ; but — who-
ever you are, thus much is sure — if you want to do

the decent thing, don't annoy me.
Pen, Wake up, Menaechmus !
Men.S. Gad ! why, I am awake, so far as I know.
Pen. You don't know me f
Men.S. I should not deny it, if I did know you.
Pen. Not know your own parasite ?
Men.S. Sir, your headpiece is out of order, I perceive.
Pen. Answer me — didn't you steal that mantle from

your wife to-day and give it to Erotium } ^

Men.S. Lord, Lord ! I neither have a wife, nor gave the

mantle to Erotium, nor stole it.
Pen. Really, are you sane ? {aside, in despair) My

business is done for ! (aloud) Didn't I see you

come outdoors wearing the mantle }
Men.S. Curse you! Do you think all of us follow the

women, just because you do ? You declare that

I was wearing the mantle ?
Pen. Gad, yes, of course.
Men.S. Go to — where you belong, will you ! Or else get

yourself purified, you utter idiot !
Pen, (incensed) By the Lord, no one shall ever induce

me not to tell your wife everything, just as it

happened ! All this abuse of yours shall fall back

on yourself; you shall suffer for devouring that

lunch, I promise you.

[exit Peniculus into house of Menaechmus.
Men.S. (hervildered) What does this mean? So everyone

I set eyes on tries to make a fool of me, eh ?

(listening) But the door creaked !

Scene 3. enter maid from Eroiiunis house.

Maid Menaechmus, Erotium says she would very much
like you to take this bracelet (showing it) to the

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atque hue ut addas auri pondo unciam

iubeasque spinter novom reconcinnarier.
Mefi» S, Et istuc et aliud^ si quid curari volet,

me curaturum dieito, quidquid volet.
Anc, Sein quid hoc sit spinter ?

Men. S, Nescio, nisi aureum. 530

Anc, Hoc est quod olim clanculum ex amiario

te surrupuisse aiebas uxori tuae.
Men, S, Numquam hercle factum est.
Anc, Non meministi, obsecro ?

redde igitur spinter, si non meministi.
Men. S, Mane.

immo equidem memini. nempe hoc est, quod illi
dedi.
Anc. Istuc.

Men, S. Vbi illae armillae sunt, quas una dedi ?

Anc, Numquam dedisti.

Me7i, S, Nam pol hoc unum dedi.

Anc, Dicam curare ?
Men, S. Dieito ; curabitur.

et palla et spinter faxo referantur simul. 539> 540

Anc. Amabo, mi Menaechme, inauris da mihi

faciendas pondo duom nummum, stalagmia,

ut te libenter videam, quom ad nos veneris.
Men, S. Fiat, cedo aurum, ego manupretium dabo.
Anc, Da sodes abs te ; ego post reddidero tibi.
Men, S, Immo cedo abs te ; ego post tibi reddam duplex.
Anc, Non habeo.

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jeweller's at the same time and add an ounce

of gold to it and have it made over new.
Men,S, {taking it with alacrity) Tell her I'll take care of

that and whatever else she wants taken care of —

anything she likes.
Maid Do you know what bracelet this is ?
Men,S. No, only that it's gold.
Maid It's the one you said you stole long ago on the

sly from your wife's chest.
Men.S, Good Lord, I never did !
Maid For heaven's sake, you don't remember.^ Give

me back the bracelet, then, if you don't remember.
Men,S, (thinking hard) Wait! Yes, yes, I do remember,

to be sure ! Of course, this is the one I gave her.
Maid The very one.
Men,S. (interestedly) Where are those armlets I gave her

along with it }
Maid You never gave her any.
Men.S, That's right, by gad ; this was all I gave her.
Maid Shall I say you'll take care of it }
Men.S. (hiding a smile) Do. It shall be taken care of.

I'll see she gets the bracelet back at the same

time she gets the mantle.
Maid (coaodngly) Menaechmus dear, do have some ear-
rings made for me — ^there's a nice man! — the

pendant kind, with four shillings' worth of gold

in them, so that I'll be glad to see you when you

visit us.
Men.S, (heartily) Surely. Give me the gold ; I'll pay for

the making, myself.
Maid You furnish the gold, please do ; I'll pay you back

later.
Men,S. No, no, you give me the gold; I'll pay you back

later, twice over.
Maid I haven't it.

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Men, S, At tu^ quando habebis^ turn dato.

Anc, Numquid^ vis?

Men, S,^ Haec me curaturum dicito —

ut quantum possint quique liceant veneant.

iamne abiit intro ? abiit^ operuit fores. 550

di me quidem omnes adiuvant^ augent^ amant.

sed quid ego cesso^ dum datur mi occasio

tempusque^ abire ab his loeis lenoniis ?

propera, Menaechme^ fer pedem^ confer gradum.

demam banc coronam atque abiciam ad laevam
manum^

ut^ siquis sequatur^ hae me abiisse censeant.

ibo et conveniam servom, si potero, meum^

ut haec^ quae bona dant di mihi^ ex me sciat.

ACTVS IV

Mat, Egone hie me patiar frustra in matrimonio^

ubi vir compilet elanculum quidquid domist 560

atque ea ad amicam deferat ?
Pefi. Quin tu taces ?

manufesto faxo iam opprimes ; sequere hae modo.

pallam ad phrygionem cum corona ebrius

ferebat^ hodie tibi quam surrupuit domo.

sed eccam coronam quam habuit. num mentior ?

em hae abiit^ si vis persequi vestigiis.

atque edepol eccum optume revortitur ;

sed pallam non fert.

Mat. Quid ego nunc cum illoc agam ?

^ Leo brackets following me.
418

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S. Well, you give it to me when you do have it.

Maid {turning to go) Is there anything else, sir ?

Men.S. Say 1*11 take care of these things — {asidey as maid
leaves) take care they're sold as soon as possible
for what they'll bring, [exit Maid,] {looking after
her) Gone now, has she ? Gone ! She's shut the
door, {jubilant) Well, well, all the gods do aid,
augment, and love me ! But I must hurry up and
leave these harlot haunts while time and cir-
cumstance permit. Quick, Menaechmus ! forward,
march ! I'll take off this garland and throw it
away to the left {does so) so that if anyone follows
me, they may think I have gone this way. {going
in the opposite direction) I'll go meet my servant, if
I can, and let him know how bountiful the gods
have been to me. [exit.

ACT IV
ENTER Menaechmus* s wife from the house,

FOLLOWED BY PcniculuS.

Wife {tempestuous) Shall I let myself be made a fool
of in such a married life as this, where my husband
slyly sneaks off with everything in the house and
carries it to his mistress ?

Pen, Hush, hush, won't you ? You shall catch him in.
the act now, I warrant you. Just you follow me
this way. Drunk and garlanded, he was carrying
to the embroiderer's the mantle he stole from you
and carried from the house to-day. {seeing the
garland) But look here ! Here is the garland he
had ! Now am I a liar }. There ! he went this
way, if you want to track him. {looking down the
street) Yes, and by Jove, look ! Splendid ! He is
coming back ! But without the mantle I

Wife How shall I act toward him now ?

419

E E 2

Digitized by VjOOQIC

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pen. Idem quod semper : male habeas ; sic censeo.

hue eoneedamus ; ex insidiis aucupa. 570

IV. 2.

Men, Vt hoc utunur maxime more moro

molestoque multum^ atque uti quique sunt
optumi^ maxume morem habent hunc.
cUentes sibi omnes volunt esse multos ;
bonine an mali sint^ id haud quaeritant ;
res magis quaeritur quam clientum fides
cuius modi clueat.
I si est pauper atque haud malus^ nequam

I habetur,

sin dives malust^ is cliens frugi habetur.
qui neque leges neque aequom bonum usquam co-

lunt, 580

sollicitos patronos habent.
datum denegant quod datum est, litium

pleni, rapaces
viri, fraudulently
qui aut faenore aut periuriis

habent rem paratam,
mens est in 1 quo lis est. 584a

eis ubi dicitur dies, simul patronis dicitur.^
aut ad populum aut in iure aut apud aedilem
res est.
sicut me hodie nimis soUicitum cliens quidam

habuit, neque quod volui
agere aut quicum licitumst, ita med attinuit, ita

detinuit.
apud aediles pro eius factis plurumisque pessu-

misque 590

dixi causam, condiciones tetuli tortas, confragosas ;

^ quo lis eat Leo : MSS. readings various.
• Leo brackets following v., 686 :
quippe, qui pro illis loquimur quae malt fectrunt.
420

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Pen, {dryly) The same as ajways — ^make him miserable ;
that is my advice. Let's step aside here ; {draw-
ing her back between ike houses) catch him from
ambush.

Scene 2. enter Menaechmus in a bad temper.

Men. What slaves we are to this consummately crazy,
confoundedly chafing custom ! Yes, and it's the
very best men amongst us that are its worst slaves.
A long train of clients — that's what they all want ;
whether good men or bad is immaterial ; it's the
wealth of the clients they consider, rather than
their reputation for probity. If a man's poor and
not a bad sort, he's held to be worthless ; but
if he's rich and is a bad sort, he's held to be an
admirable client. But clients that have absolutely
no regard for law, or for what is just and fair, do
keep their patrons worried. They deny honest
debts, are for ever at law, they're rapacious,
fraudulent fellows whose money was made by
usury or perjury and whose souls are centred in
their lawsuits. When the day of trial is set for
them, it's set for (with ificreased bitterness) their
patrons, too. Up comes the case before the
people, or the court, or the aedile. That's the
way a certain client of mine has kept me con-
foundedly worried to-day, and I haven't been able
to do what I wanted or have the company 1
wanted, he has so delayed and detained me.
Before the aediles 1 spoke in defence of his
countless atrocities, and proposed provisos ^ that

^ The sponsio (settlomenfc) was a kind of legal waser,
each party patting up a sum of money which belonged to
the par^ who succeeded in establishing his coTidicio (pro-
viso). Tiie winner of the apomtio also won the whole case.
Menaechmus' client foolishly insisted upon a regular legal
course and therefore praedem dedit (named a bondsman).

421

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

aut plus aut minus quam opois fuerat dicto dixe-

ram ^ controversiam, ut
sponsio fieret. quid ille ? qui ^ praedem dedit.
nee magis manufestum ego hominem umquam

ullum teneri vidi ;
omnibus male factis testes tares aderant acerrumi.
di ilium omnes perdant^ ita mi^
hune hodie corrupit diem^ 596

meque adeo^ qui hodie forum
umquam oeulis inspexi meis. 597

diem corrupi optimum,
iussi adparari prandium^ 598

amica exspeetat me, scio.
ubi primum est lieitum, ilico 599

properavi abire de foro.
iratast, credo, nunc mihi ; 600

placabit palla quam dedi,
quam hodie uxori abstuli atque huic detuli Erotio. 601a
Pen, Quid ais ?

Mat Viro me malo male nuptam.

Pen. Satin audis quae illie loquitur ?

Mat, Satis.

Men, Si sapiam, hinc intro abeam, ubi mi bene sit.

Pen, Mane ; male erit potius.

Mat, Ne illam ecastor faenerato abstulisti,
Pen, Sic datur.

Mat. Clanculum te istaec flagitia facere censebas potis ?
Men, Quid illuc est, uxor, negoti ?
Mat, Men rogas ?

* Corrupt (Leo) : comptUeram Leo.

* Leo notes lacuna here : quiin ultro) Leo.

422

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

were intricate and difficult; I had put the case
more or less as was necessary to have a settle-
ment made. But what did he do ? (hotly) What ?
Named a surety! And never have I seen
any man more manifestly caught ; every one of
his crimes was sworn to by three witnesses of the
stoutest sort, {pausing) Heaven curse the man^
with the way he's spoiled this day for me ; yes,
and curse me, too, for ever taking a look at the
forum to-day! Such a splendid day as I have
spoiled ! A luncheon ordered, and a mistress no
doubt waiting for me ! At the earliest possible
moment I hurried away from the forum. She's
angry with me now, I suppose ; {hopefully) my
gift will mollify her — ^that mantle I took from
my wife and brought to Erotium here.

Pen. (triumphantly to wtfe, aside) What do you say ?

Wife (indignant) That he's a wretch who has me for his
wretched wife !

Pen, You quite hear what he says ?

Wife Quite.

Men, If I had any sense, I should move on and go
inside where Fll have a good time, {passes his
own house and goes towards Erotium s door)

Pen, {stepping forward) You wait ! It will be a bad
time, instead.

Wife {stepping forward on the other side) You shall
certainly pay interest on that theft, I swear you
shall !

Pen, {gleefully) Take that !

Wife Did you think you could commit such outrages on
the sly ?

Men, {guileless) What do you mean by that, my dear ?

Wife You ask me ?

423

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. Vin hunc rogem ?

Mai. Aufer hinc palpationes.

Pen. Verge tu.

Men. Quid tu mihi

tristis es ?
Mat, Te scire oportet.

Pen. Scit, sed dissimulat malus.

Men. Quid negotist ?
Mat. Pallam —

Men. Pallam ?

Mat. Quidam pallam —

Pen. Quid paves ?

Men. Nil equidem paveo.

Pen. Nisi unum : palla pallorem ineutit. 6 10

at tu ne clam me comesses prandium. perge in

virum.
Men. Non taces ?

Pen. Non hercle vero taceo, nutat, ne loquar.

Men. Non hercle ego quidem usquam quicquam nuto

neque nicto tibi.
Pen. Nihil hoc confidentius, qui quae vides ea pemegat.
Men. Per lovem deosque omnis adiuro^ uxor, — satin hoc

est tibi ? —
me isti non nutasse.
Pen. Credit iam tibi de isto. illuc redi.

Meti. Quo ego redeam ?
Pen. Equidem ad phrygionem censeo. ei,

pallam refer.
Men. Quae istaec palla est ?
424

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men, Do you want me to ask him ? (pointing to Peniculus)

Wije (as he tries to fondle her) None of your caresses !

Pen, (to wife) Keep at him, keep at him !

Men, Why are you cross at me ?

Wife You ought to know !

Pen, He does know, but he's pretending, the rascal.

Men, What does this mean ?

Wife A mantle —

Men, (worried) A mantle ?

Wife A mantle someone —

Pen, (to Menaechmus) What arc you frightened at ?

Men, (trying to appear unconcerned) Frightened ? I ?

Not in the least.
Pen, (triumphantly, pointing to Menaechmus* s face, which

has turned pale) Barring this : the mantle unmans

you. Now none of your eating up the lunch

behind my back ! (to wife) Keep at the fellow !
Men, (aside to Peniculus) Keep still, won't you ? (shakes

his head at him)
Pen, (loudly) Indeed I will not keep still, by Jove !

(to wife) He's shaking his head at me not to

speak.
Men, Not I, not a bit of it, by Jove ! Fm not shaking

my head at all, or winkkig at you, either.
Pen, Well, of all the cheek ! To deny flatly what you

see with your own eyes I
Men. My dear, I swear by Heaven and all that's holy —

is that strong enough for you? — I did not shake

my head at him.
Pen. Oh, she takes your word for that forthwith !

Get back to the point.
Men, Back to what point ?
Pen, Why, to the embroiderer's shop, I should say.

Go, bring back the mantle.
Men. Mantle ? What mantle ?

425

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pen, Taceo iam, quuido haec rem non

meminit suam. 6l9

Mat. Ne ego mecastor mulier misera.
Men, Qui tu misera es ? miexpedi.^ 6l4

Numquis servorum deliquit? num ancillae aut
servi tibi 620

responsant ? eloquere. impune non erit.
Mat, Nugas agis.

Men, Tristis admodum es. non mi istuc satis placet.
Mat, Nugas agis.

Men. Certe familianum aliquoi irata es.
Mat, Nugas agis.

Men. Num mihi es irata saltern ?

Mat, Nunc tu non nugas agis.

Men, Non edepol deliqui quicquam.
Mat, Em rursum nunc nugas agis.

Men, Die, mea uxor, quid tibi aegre est ?
Pen, Bellus blanditur tibi.

Men, Potin ut mihi molestus ne sis ? num te appello ?
Mat, Aufer manum.

Pen, Sic datur. properato absente me comesse prandium,

post ante aedis cum corona me derideto ebrius.
Men, Neque edepol ego prandi neque hodie hue intro

tetuli pedem. 630

Pen, Tun negas ?
Men, Nego hercle vero.

Pen, Nihil hoc hmnine audacius.

non ego te modo hie ante aedis cum corona florea

^ Kiessling puts v. 614 after 619: Leo mai'ks lacuna
after 619.
426

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

(disgusted at rmfe*s tearful futility) I say no more,

seeing she doesn't remember her own affairs.

(m tears) Oh Heavens ! I surely am an unhappy

woman !

(solicitously) How are you unhappy ? Tell me all

about it. (to Tvifcy tenderly) Has any one of the

slaves been at fault ? Do the maids or men-
servants talk back to you ? Do speak out. They

shall pay for it.

Nonsense !

You*re awfully cross. I don't quite like that.

Nonsense I

It must be some one of the servants you're

angry with.

Nonsense I

You're not angry at me, anyhow, are you ?

There now ! That's sense.

Good Lord ! I haven't been at fault I

Aha ! back to your nonsense !

(paUing her) Do tell me what troubles you, my

dear.

Pen, (scornfully) He's soft-soaping you, the sweet thing !
Men, (to Peniculus) Can't you stop annoying me ? I'm

not addressing you, am 1 ? (tries to caress his wife)
Wife Take your hand away ! (slaps him)
Pen, Take that ! Now be in a hurry to eat up the lunch

in my absence, now get drunk and appear in front

of the house with a garland on and give me the

laugh !
Men, Good heavens ! I haven't eaten lunch, and I've

never set foot inside this house to-day.
Pen. You deny it ?
Men, Indeed I do, gad, yes.
Pen, Well, of all the brazenness ! Didn't I just now

see you in front of the house here wearing a

427

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

vidi astare ? quom negabas mi esse sanum sinciput^

et negabas me novisse^ peregrinum aibas esse te ?
Men, Quin ut dudum divorti abs te^ redeo nunc demum

domum.
Pen. Novi ego te. non mihi censebas esse, qui te
ulciscerer.

omnia hercle uxori dixi.
Men, Quid dixisti ?

Pen. Nescio,

eam ipsus roga.
Men. Quid hoc est, uxor ? quidnam hie narravit tibi?

quid id est ? quid taces ? quin dicis quid sit ?
Mai. Quasi tu nescias.^

me rogas ?
Men. Pol baud rogem te, si sciam.

Pen. O homin em malum, 640

ut dissimulat. non potes celare ; rem novit probe.

omnia hercle ego edictavi.
Men. Quid id est ?

Mat. Quando nil pudet

neque vis tua voluntate ipse profiteri, audi atque
aides.

et quid tristis sim et quid hie mihi dixerit, faxo
scias.

palla mi est domo surrupta.
Men. Palla surruptast mihi ?

Pen, Viden ut te scelestus captat ? huic surruptast, non
tibi.

nam profecto tibi surrupta si esset — salva non foret.
Men. Nil mihi tecum est. sed tu quid ais ?

^ Leo assumes lacuna here and brackets following v.,
639a:

pdUa mi eat domo eurrepta.
Men. PaUa mrrepta est tibi ?

which he thinks interpolated (c/. 645) to fill the gap.
428

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

garland of flowers ? When you told me that my
headpiece was out of order and that you didn't
know me, and said you were arriving from
abroad ?

Men. Why, Tm only this moment getting home after
parting company with you a while ago.

Pen, {angrily) I know you ! You didn't count on my
having a way to get even with you. By gad, I've
told your wife everything !

Men, What have you told her ?

Pen, Oh, I don't know ; ask her yourself.

Men, (to his wife, bravely) What's all this, my dear.?
What sort of a tale has he been relating to you ?
What is it ? Why are you silent ? Why don't
you tell me what it is }

Wife As if you didn't know ! Asking me !

Men, Bless my soul I I shouldn't ask you if I did know.

Pen, Oh the villain ! How he plays the innocent ! (to
Menaeckmus) You can't conceal it; she under-
stands the matter beautifully. I have told her
the whole story, by Jove !

Men, What does this mean ?

Wife (with acerbity) Since you have no sense of shame
and no wish to confess of your own free will,
listen, and listen closely. I'll soon let you know
why I'm cross and what he told me. A mantle
has been stolen from me at home.

Men. (indignant) A mantle stolen from me ?

Pen. See how the rascal is trying to catch you? (to
Menaechmus) It was stolen from her, not from you.
Why, if it was stolen from you, it would certainly
be — lost.^

Men. {to Peniculus) I have nothing to do with you. (to
wife) But you, what are you saying ?

^ And not safe at the embroiderer's.

429

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Mai, Palla^ inquam^ periit domo.

Men. Quis earn surrupuit ?

Mai, Pol istuc ille scit qui illam abstulit.

Men, Quis is homo est ?

M(U, Menaechmus quidam.

Men, Edepol factum nequiter. 650

quis is Menaechmust ?
Mat, Tu istic, inquam.

Men, Egone?

Mai, Tu.

Men, Quis arguit?

Mai, Egomet.

Pen. Et ego. atque huic amieae detulisti Erotio.

Men. Egon dedi }
Mat. Tu, tu istic, inquam.

Pen. Vin adferri noctuam^

quae ^^ tu tu " usque dieat tibi ? nam nos iam de-
fessi sumus.^
Men: Sed ego illam non condonavi, sed sic utendam dedi.
Mat. Equidem ecastor tuam nee chlamydem do foras
nee pallium

cuiquam utendum. mulierem aequom est vesti-
mentum muliebre

dare foras, virum virile, quin refers pallam domum ? 660
Men. Ego faxo referetur.
Mat. Ex re tua, ut opinor, feceris ;

nam domum numquam introibis, nisi feres pallam
simul.

eo domum.

* Leo brackets following vv. , 655-656 :
Men. Per lovem deosque omnis adiuro, ux(yr {satin hoc est tibi ^)

non dedisse.
Mat. Immo hercle vero, nos nonfalsum dicere.

430

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Wife A mantle^ I tell you, has disappeared from the
house.

Men. Who stole it ?

Wife Goodness me ! The man who took it knows that.

Men, Who is this man ?

Wife A certain Menaechmus.

Men, It's a scurvy tricky by Jove ! Who is this Men-
aechmus }

Wife You yourself, I tell you.

Men, I?

Wife You.

Men, Who's my accuser ?

Wife I am.

Pen, Yes, and I. And you took it to your mistress
Erotium here, too.

Men, I gave it away — I ?

Wife You, you yourself, I tell you.

Pen, D'ye want us to bring on an owl, to keep saying
*^yoo, yoo " to you ? For we've got tired of sapng
it by now.^

Men, (weakly) But I didn't give it to her out and out ;
I only — it's like this — I only lent it.

Wife Good gracious, sir ! I certainly "do not lend out
your mantle or cloak to anyone. A woman is the
proper person to give out women's clothes, a man
men's. You bring that mantle back home, will
you.^

Men, ril see it's brought back.

Wije You will be seeing to your own comfort, I fancy ;
for never shall you enter the house unless you
bring the mantle with you. {turning away abruptly)
I am going home.

> w. 656-656 :
Men, My dear, I swear by Heaven and all that's holy — is

thit strong enough for you ? — I did not give it away.
Wife Goodness me, no, that we are not lying.

431

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Pen. Quid mihi futurum est, qui tibi banc

operam dedi ?
Mat, Opera reddetur, quando quid tibi erit sumiptum

domo.
Pen, Id quidem edepol numquam erit, nam nibil est

quod perdam domi.
cum viro cum uxore di vos perdant. properabo ad

forum,
nam ex bac familia me plane excidisse intellego.
Men, Male mi uxor sese fecisse censet, quom exclusit

foras ;
quasi non babeam, quo intromittar, alium meliorem

locum,
si tibi displiceo, patiundum ; at placuero huic Erotio, 670
quae me non excludet ab se, sed apud se occludet

domi.
nunc ibo, orabo ut mihi pallam reddat, quam dudum

dedi ;
aliam illi redimam meliorem. heus, ecquis hie est

ianitor ?
aperite atque Erotium aliquis evocate ante ostium.

IV. 3.

Erot, Quis hie me quaerit ?

Men, Sibi inimicus magis quam aetati tuae.

Erot, Mi Menaechme, cur ante aedis astas? sequere

intro.
Men. Mane.

scin quid est quod ego ad te venio ?
Erot. Scio, ut tibi ex me sit volup.

Men. Immo edepol pallam illam, amabo te, quam tibi
dudum dedi,
mihi eam redde. uxor rescivit rem omnem, ut

factum est, ordine.
432

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Pen, (anxiousli/) What do 1 get for helping you in
this ?

Wife {with a sour smile) FU help you in return when
something is stolen from your house.

[exit into the house.

Pen, Oh Lord ! That means never, for I have nothing
in my house to Ipse, {heartily) Be damned to you,
husband and wife both ! I'll hurry to the forum,
for I perceive Fve plainly fallen out of the good
graces of this family. [exit.

Men. {comfortably) My wife thinks she has pained me by
shutting me out. Just as if thiMre wasn't another
place — and a better one — where I'll be admitted.
If you don't like me> I must bear it ; Erotium
here will like me anyway. She won't shut me
out ; oh no, she'll shut me in with her ! Now I'll
go and beg her to give me back the mantle I gave
her a while ago; I'll buy her another, a better
one. {knocking at her door) Hullo ! Anyone mind-
ing the door here ? Open up and call Erotium
out^ someone !

Scene 3.

Erot, {within) Who is inquiring for me ?

Men, A man who is more his own foe than yours, dear.

enter Erotium into the doorway.
Erot, Menaechmus, love, why are you standing out here ?

{taking his arm) Do come in.
Men, Wait. Do you know why I've come to see you ?
Erot, I know — so that we may have a nice time

together.
Men, No, you're wrong, confound it ! Do give me back

that mantle I gave you a while ago, there's a dear-

My wife has found out about the whole business,

433

VOL. II. F r

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

ego tibi redimam bis tanto pluris pallam^ quam

voles. • 680

EroL Tibi dedi equidem illam^ ad phrygionem ut ferres,

paulo prius,
et illud spinter, ut ad aurifieem ferres, ut fieret

novom.
Men, Mihi tu ut dederis pallam et spinter? numquam

factum reperies.
nam ego quidem postquam illam dudum tibi dedi

atque abii ad forum^
nunc redeo, nunc te postillac video.
Erot. Video quam rem agis.

quia commisi^ ut me defrudes^ ad earn rem adfectas

viam.
Men, Neque edepol te defrudandi causa posco— quin tibi

dico uxorem rescivisse —
EroU Nee te ultro oravi ut dares ;

tute ultro ad me detulisti^ dedisti eam dono mihi ;
eandem nunc reposcis. patiar. tibi habe, aufer,

utere 690

vel tu vel tua uxor,'vel etiam in loculos compingite.
tu hue post hunc diem pedem intro non feres, ne

frustra sis.
quando tu me bene merentem tibi habes despicatui,
nisi feres argentum, frustra me ductare non potes.
aliam posthac invenito quam habeas frustratui,
Men, Nimis iracunde hercle tandem, heus tu, tibi dico,

mane,
redi. etiamne astas ? etiam audes mea revorti

gratia?
abiit intro, occlusit aedis. nunc ego sum exclusis-

simus :
434

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

from beginning to end. TU buy you a mantle
twice as expensive — any you choose.

Erot (surprised) But I gave it to you to take to the
embroiderer's just a few minutes ago, along with
that bracelet you were to carry to the jeweller's
to have made over.

Men, You gave me the mantle and a bracelet — me }
You'll find you never did so. Why, after giving
you that mantle a while ago and going to the
forum I'm just getting back ; this is the first time
I've seen you since then.

Erot (aroused) But I see what you are up to. Just be-
cause I've put them into your hands you're at-
tempting to do this, to cheat me.

Men, No, heavens, no ! it's not to cheat you I ask
for it — really, my wife has found out, I tell
you

Erot. (passing over what she thinks the usual lie) No, and
I didn't beg you to give it to me in the first place ;
you brought it to me yourself of your own accord,
made me a present pf it ; and now you ask it
back. Very well. Take it, carry it off, wear it
yourself or let your wife wear it, or for that matter
lock it up in a coffer. You shall not set foot in
this house after to-day, don't fool yourself. Now
that you've held a good friend like me in con-
tempt, you can bring along ready money, or else
you can't lead me along like a fool. After this
you just find somebody else to fool, (turns to go in)

Men. Oh gad, now, really you're too testy ! Here,
here ! I say ! Wait ! Come back ! . What ? you
won't stop ? What ? you aren't willing to return
for my sake ? [exit Erotium, slamming the door.]
She's gone inside ! She's closed the door ! Well,
if I'm not getting the most exclusive reception !

435
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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS
neque domi neque apud amicam mihi iam quic-

quam creditur.
ibo et consulam banc rem amicos^ quid faciendum

censeant. 700

ACTVS V

Men, S, Nimis stulte dudum feci, quom marsuppium

Messenioni cum argento concredldi.

immersit aliquo sese, credo, in ganeum.
Mat. Provisam quam mox vir mens redeat domum.

sed eccum video, salva sum, pallam refert.
Men. S, Demiror ubi nunc ambulet Messenio.
Mat Adibo atque hominem accipiam quibus dictis meret.

non te pudet prodire in eonspectum meum,

flagitium bominis, cum istoc omatu ?
Me7i.S. Quid est?

quae te res agitat, mulier ?
Mat. Etiamne, impudens, 710

muttire verbum unum audes aut mecum loqui ?
Men. S. Quid tandem admisi in me, ut loqui non audeam ?
Mat. Rogas me ? o bominis impudentem audaciam !
Men. S. Non tu scis, mulier, Hecubam quapropter canem

Graii esse praedicabant ?

Mat. Non equidem scio.

Men. S. Quia idem faeiebat Hecuba quod tu nunc facis :
436

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Neither at home nor at my mistress's^ either, do
they believe a word I say ! Til go and consult
my friends about this and see what they think
should be done. [exit.

ACT V

ENTER Menaeckmus Sosicles,
Men,S. What an idiot I was a while ago when I entrusted
my wallet and money to Messenio 1 He*s im*
mersed himself in a pothouse somewhere, I
suppose.

ENTER THE Wife OF Mcnoechmus into the

DOORWAY.

Wife rU go out and see if my husband won't soon be

back home. {seeing Menaeckmus Sosicles) Oh,

why there he is ! Fm saved I He is bringing

back the mantle.
Men.S. I wonder where Messenio is promenading now.
Wife ril step up and welcome him with the words he

deserves. (advancing) Aren't you ashamed to

appear in my sight with that costume, you

monster ?
Men.S, {startled) Eh, what is it that excites you, madam ?
Wife What ! Do you dare breathe a word, do you dare

speak to me, you shameless creature ?
Men.S. What, pray, is my offence, that I should not dare

to speak ?
Wife You ask me ? Oh, such brazen shamelessness !
Men.S, {still poUte) Madam, do you not know why the

ancient Greeks used to declare that Hecuba was

a bitch ?
Wife (sharply) No, indeed I don't.
Men.S, Because Hecuba used to do precisely what you

are doing now : she used to poUr every kind

437

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

omnia mala ingerebat^ quemquem aspexerat.

itaque adeo iure coepta appellari est canes.
Mat, Non ego istaec tua flagitia possum perpeti.

nam med aetatem viduam esse mavelim, 720

quam istaec flagitia tua pati quae tu facis.
Men, S, Quid id ad me, tu te nuptam possis perpeti

an sis abitura a tuo viro ? an mos hie ita est,

quin vidua vivam quam tuos mores perferam.
Men, S. Mea quidem hercle causa vidua vivito,

vel usque dum regnum optinebit luppiter.
Mat, At mihi negabas dudum sumipuisse te,

nunc eandem ante oculos attines. non te pudet ? 730
Men, S, Eu hercle, mulier, multum et audax et mala es.

tun tibi hanc surreptam dicere audes, quam mihi

dedit alia mulier ut concinnandam darem ?
Mat, Ne istuc mecastor— iam patrem accersam meum

atque ei narrabo tua flagitia quae facis.

ei, Deceo,^ quaere meum patrem, tecum simul

ut veniat ad me ; ita rem esse dicito.

iam ego aperiam istaec tua flagitia.
Men, S, Sanan es ?

quae mea flagitia ?
Mat, Pallam atque aurum meum

domo suppilas tuae uxori et tuae 740

degeris amicae. satin haec recte fabulor ?

* Corrupt (Leo) : Plocium Leo.
438

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of abuse on everyone she saw. So they began to
call her bitch, and quite properly, too.

fVife (incensed) I cannot endure this outrageous conduct
of yours. Why, I'd rather live without a husband
all my life than put up with the outrageous things
you do.

Men.S, And how does it concern me whether you can
endure your married life, or leave your husband ?
Or is this the fashion here — to prattle to arriving
strangers ?

Wife Prattle } I will not put up with it any longer,
I tell you. ril get a divorce rather than tolerate
your goings-on.

Men.S, Lord, Lord ! get divorced, for all I care — and stay
so as long as Jove reigns !

Wife (examining mantle) See here, you denied stealing
this a while ago, and now you hold it, the very
same one, right before my eyes. Aren*t you
ashamed ?

Men, S, Bravo, madam I By Jove ! You are a bold, bad
one with a vengeance ! Do you dare tell me this
was stolen from you, when another woman gave
it to me so that I might get it renovated }

Wife Good heavens, that is — I'll send for my father
this moment and 111 give him an account of your
outrageous actions I (calling at door) Deceo ! Go
look for my father — bring him here to me ; say
it's absolutely necessary, (to Menaechmus Sosicles)
I'U soon lay bare your outrageous conduct !

Men.S, Are you sane ? What is this outrageous conduct
of mine ?

Wife You filched my mantle and jewellery from the
house — from your own wife — and carried them off
to your mistress. Isn't this perfectly true {Jbitterly)
prattle ?

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS
Men, S, Quaeso hercle^ mulier^ si sds, monstra quod bibam^

tuam qui possim perpeti petulantiam.

quern tu hominem esse me arbitrere, nescio ;

ego te simitu nori cum Porthaone.
M(U, Si me derides^ at pol ilium non potes^

patrem meum^ qui hue advenit. quin respicis ?

novistin tu ilium ?
Men, S, Novi cum Calcha simul.

eodem die ilium vidi quo te ante hunc diem.
Mat, Negas novisse me ? negas patrem meum ? 750

Men, S, Idem hercle dicam^ si avom vis adducere.
Mai, Ecastor pariter hoc atque alias res soles.

V. 2.

Sen, Vt aetas mea est atque ut hoc lisus facto est

gradum proferam, progrediri properabo.
sed id quam mihi facile sit, haud sum falsus.
nam pemicitas deserit. eonsitus sum
senectute, onustum gero corpus, vires
reliquere. ut aetas mala est ; mers mak ergost.
nam res plurumas pessumas^ quom advenit^ fert ;
quas si autumem omnis>

nimis longus sermost. 760

sed haec res mihi in pectore et corde curaest.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S, Good Lord, madam^ if you know of any drug I
can take to enable me to endure that temper
of yours, for heaven's sake name it. Who you
think I am is a mystery to me ; as for me, I knew
you when I knew Hercules* wife's grandfether.^

Wife You may laugh at me, but I vow you can't laugh
at that man, (^pointing donm the street) my father,
who's coming this way. Look back there. Do
you know him ?

Men.S. (looking) Oh yes, I knew him when I knew
Calchas.2 I saw him on the same day I first saw
you.

Wije You deny knowing me, you deny knowing my
father ?

Men.S. Oh Lord! I'll say the idame thing if you bring
on your grandfather, (walks away)

Wife Oh dear me ! that's just the way you are always
acting !

Scene 2. enter Menaechmus' s Father-in-law slowly and

LABORIOUSLY.

Father (sighing wearily) Yes, I'll step out, I'll step along
as . . . fast as toy age permits and the occasion
demands, (halting) But I know well enough how
. . . easy it is for me. For I've lost my nimble-
ness . . . the years have taken hold of me . . .
it's a heavy body I carry . . . my strength has
left me. Ah, old age is a bad thing — a bad piece
of freight! Yes, yes, it brings along untold
tribulations when it comes ; if I were to specify
them all, it would be a . . . long, long story.
But this is the thing that weighs on my mind and

^ Porthaon, father of Oeneus, father of Deianeira, last
wife of Hercules.
2 A seer at the siege of Troy.

441

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

quidnam hoc sit negoti^

quod filia sic
repente expetit me,

ut ad sese irem.
nee, quid id sit, mihi certius facit, quid 763a

velit, quid me accersat.
verum propemodum iam scio, quid siet rei. 764a

credo cum viro litigium natum esse aliquod.
ita istaec solent, quae viros subservire
sibi postulant, dote fretae, feroces.
et illi quoque haud abstinent saepe culpa,
verum est modus tamen, quoad pati ux(H*em

oportet ;
nee pol filia umquam patrem accersit ad se, 770

nisi aut quid commissi aut iurgi est iusta causa,
sed id quidquid est, iam sciam. atque eccam

eampse
ante aedis et eius virum tristem video,
id est quod suspicabar.
appellabo banc.
Mat, Ibo advorsum. salve multum, mi pater.

Sen, Salva sis. salven advenio ? salven accersi iubes ?
quid tu tristis es.'^ quid ille autem abs te iratus

destitit ?
nescio quid vos velitati estis inter vos duos,
loquere, uter meruistis culpam ? paucis, non longos
logos.
Mat, Nusquam equidem quicquam deliqui ; hoc primum

te absolvo, pater. 780

verum vivere hie non possum neque durare ullo

modo.
proin tu me hinc abducas.
Sen. Quid istuc autem est ?

Mai, Ludibrio, pater,

habeor.
442

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

heart — what in the world has happened to make
my daughter ask me^ all of a sudden this way^ to
come to her. Not a word am I told as to what is
wrong, what she wants, why she summons me.
However, I have a pretty fair notion already
what it's all about. She's had some squabble
with her husband, I fancy. That's the way with
women that try to keep their husbands under
their thumbs, arrogant just because they've
brought a good dowry, (pauses) And the hus-
bands often aren't blameless, eitner. (reflecting)
However, there's a limit, just the same, to what
a wife should put up with; and, by Jove, a
daughter never summons her father unless there's
something amiss or some just cause for complaint.
But I shall soon know about it, whatever it is.
{advancing and looking about) Ah, there she is her-
self in front of the house — ^and her husband,
looking sour ! It's just as I suspected. I'll have
a word with her.

Wife (aside) I'll go meet him. (advancing) I hope
you're well, fether dear— very well.

Father And you. Do I find all weU here ? Is all well,
that you have me summoned ? Why are you
so gloomy? Yes, and why is he (pointing to
Menaechmus Sosicles) standing aloof there, angry ?
You've been bickering over something or other,
you two. Out with it — which is to blame ? Be
brief; no long words.

Wife I haven't been at fault at all, indeed I haven't ;
I'll relieve you on this point first, father. But I
can't live here, I simply cannot stand it. So you
must take me away from this house.

Father (peevishly) But what is the trouble }

Wife I'm made a laughing-stock, father !

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Sen, Vnde?

Mat, Ab illo, quoi me mandavisti^ meo viro.

Sen, Ecce autem litigium. quotiens tandem edixi tibi^

ut caveres, neuter ad me iretis cum querimonia ?
Mai, Qui ego idtuc^ mi pater, cavere possum ?
Sen. Men interrogas ?

Mat, Nisi non vis.

Sen, Quotiens monstravi tibi, viro ut morem geras,

quid ille faciat, ne id observes, quo eat, quid rerum
gerat.
Mat, At enim ille hinc amat meretdcem ex proxumo.
Sen, Sanesapit, 790

atque ob istanc industriam etiam faxo amabit
amplius.
Mat, Atque ibi potat.

Sen, Tua quidem ille causa potabit minus,

si illic sive alibi libebit ? quae haec, malum, impu-

dentiast }
una opera prohibere, ad cenam ne promittat, pos-

tules,
neve quemquam accipiat alienum apud se. ser-

viren tibi
postulas viros ? dare una opera pensum postules,
inter ancillas sedere iubeas, lanam carere.
Mai, Non equidem mihi te advocatum, pater, adduxi,
sed viro.
hinc stas, illim causam dicis.
Sen, Si ille quid deliquerit>

multo tanto ilium accusabo, quam te accusavi,

amplius. 800

quando te auratam et ve$titi^m bene habet^ ancillas

penum
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Father By whom ?

Wife By the man you entrusted me to, my husband.

Father Now look at that ! A squabble ! See here, how
many times have I given you notice to guard
against coming to me with grievances, either
of you ?

Wife (tearfully) How can I guard against that, father
dear?

Ftdher {severely) You ask me ?

Wife If you please.

Father How many times have I explicitly told you to
humour your husband and not keep watching
what he does, where he goes, and what he is
about }

Wife Well, but he makes love to this strumpet, the
very next door !

Father He shows excellent judgment, and he will make
love to her all the more, I warrant you, to reward
this diligence of yours.

Wife And he drinks there, too.

Father Just because of you, will he drink the less there
or anywhere else he pleases? Such confounded
impudence ! You might as well expect to keep
him from accepting an invitation to dinner, or
from having company at his own home. Do you
expect your husbands to be your slaves ? You
might as well expect to give him housework to
do, and bid him sit with the maids and card wool.

Wife {resentfully) I see I have brought you here, father,
to defend my husband, not myself Retained by
me, you plead his case.

Father If he has done anything out of the way, I shall be
a great deal more severe with him than I have
been with you. But inasmuch as he keeps you
well supplied with jewellery and clothes, furnishes

445

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recte praehibet, melius sanam est, mulier, mentem

sumere.

Mat At ille suppilat mihi aurum et pallas ex arcis domo,

me despoliat, mea ornamenta clam ad meretrices

degerit.

Sen. Male facit, si istuc facit ; si non facit, tu male facis,

quae insontem insimules.
Mat Quin etiam nunc habet pallam, pater,

et spinter, quod ad banc detulerat, nunc, quia
rescivi, refert.
Sen, lam ego ex boc, ut factumst, scibo. ibo ad bomi-
nem atque adloquar.
die mi istuc, Menaecbme, quod vos dissertatis, ut

sciam.
quid tu tristis es? quid ilia autem irata abs te
destitit? 810

Men, S, Quisquis es, quidquid tibi nomen est, senex, sum-
mum lovem
deosque do testes —
Sen, Qua de re aut cuius rei rerum omnium ?

Men, S, Me neque isti male fecisse mulieri, quae me arguit

banc domo ab se surrupuisse atque abstulisse — ^
Mat, Deierat ?

Men, S, Si ego intra aedis buius umquam, ubi babitat,

penetravi pedem, 815,816

omnium bominum exopto ut fiam miserorum miser-
rimus.
Sen, Sanun es, qui istuc exoptes aut neges te umquam
pedem
in eas aedis intulisse ubi babitas, insanissime ?
Men, S, Tun, senex, ais babitare med in illisce aedibus ? 820

Sen, Tun negas ?
Men, S, Nego bercle vero.

^ Leo assumes lacuna here: Schoell gives peierat to
wife.
446

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

you with plenty of maidservants and provisions^
you had better be sensible about things^ my girl.

Wife But he filches my jewellery and mantles from my
chests at home^ he robs me^ and carries my nicest
things to strumpets on the sly !

Father He does wrong, if he does that ; if he doesn't,
you are doing wrong to accuse an innocent man.

Wife Why, he has a mantle this very moment, father,
and a bracelet he'd taken to her he is just now
bringing back, because I found him out.

Father FU find out about this from him at once. I'll go
and have a talk with the man. (approachmg
Merutechmus Soeicles) Speak up, Menaechmus, and
let me know what you two are at odds over. Why
are you so gloomy? And why is she standing
aloof there, angry ?

Men,S. (vehemently) Whoever you are, whatever your
name is, old gentleman, I call Heaven and God
on high to witness

Father (surprised) What about, concerning what con-
ceivable thing ?

Men,S, That I have done no wrong to that woman who
accuses me of having raided her house and stolen
this mantle, and of having carried it off

Wife He swears to that ?

Men,S. If I ever set foot inside this house, where she
lives, I pray Heaven to make me the most
wretched wretch on earth.

Father (horrified) Are you sane, to pray for a thing like
that, or to deny that you ever put foot in this
house, where you live, you utter idiot ?

Men.S, Do you, too, say I live in that house, old gentle-
man?

Father And do you deny it ?

Af«i.iS'. By gad I do, truly !

447

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TITOS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Sen, Immo hercle invere ^ negas ;

nisi quo nocte hac exmigrastis. concede hue, mea

filia.
quid tu ais ? num hinc exmigrastis ?
Mat. Quern in locum aut quam ob rem, obseero ?

Sen, Non edepol scio.

Mat, Prof ecto ludit te hie. nontutenes?

Sen, lam vero, Menaechme, satis iocatu's. nunc banc

rem gere.
Men, S. Quaeso, quid mihi tecum est ? unde aut quis tu
homo es ? ^ quid debeo
ego tibi aut adeo isti, quae mihi molesta est quo-
quo modo ?
Mat, Viden tu illi oculos virere ? ut viridis exoritur colos
ex temporibus atque fronte, ut oculi scintillant,

vide. 829, 830

Men, S, Quid mihi meliust, quam quando illi me insanire
praedicant,
ego med adsimulem insanire, ut illos a me abster-
ream ?
Mat, Vt pandiculans oscitatur. quid nunc faciam, mi

pater ?
Sen, Concede hue, mea nata, ab istoc quam potest

longissime.
Men. S. Euhoe Bacche, Bromie, quo me in silvam venatum
vocas ?
audio, sed non abire possum ab his regionibus,
ita ilia me ab laeva rabiosa femina adservat canis,
poste autem illinc hircus calvus,^ qui saepe aetate

in sua
perdidit civem innocentem falso testimonio.

1 invert Lindsay : Itidere MSS.

' Leo notes lacuna here and corruption in following
line : {quid debeo ego) tibi Leo.

' ccUvua Mueller : cUtis MSS.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

No, by gad, you do untruly — unless you moved
away somewhere last night, (turning to his wife)
Daughter, come over here, (she obeys) Tell me
— ^you have not moved away from here, have you ?
Where to, or why, for mercy's sake ?
Bless my soul, I don't know.
He's making fun of you, of course. Can't you see
that }

Father Really now, Menaechmus, you have joked enough.
Come now, stick to the point I

Men, S. See here, what have I got to do with you ? Who
are you, and where do you come from ? What do
I owe you, or that woman either, who is pestering
me in every conceivable way }

Wife (to her father , frightened) Do you see how green
his eyes are } And that greenish colour coming
over his temples and forehead } How his eyes
glitter ! look !

Men.S, (aside) Seeing they declare I'm insane, what's
better for me than to pretend I am insane, so as
to frighten them off? (develops alarming symptoms)

Wife (more frightened) How he stretches and gapes !
Father, father dear, what shall I do now }

Father (retreaiing) Come over here, my child, as far as
you can from him !

Men, S, (having worked himself up properly) Euhoe I Bac-
chus ! Bromius I Whither dost thou summon me
a-hunting in the woods? I hear, but I cannot
quit these regions, with that rabid bitch on watch
there at my left, aye, and there behind a bald-
headed goat who many a time in his life has
ruined a guiltless fellow-citizen by his perjury !

449

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Sen. Vae capiti tuo.

Men, S. Ecce, Apollo mi ex oraclo imperat, 840

ut ego illi oeulos exuram lampadibus ardentibus.
Mat, Perii, mi pater, minatur mihi oeulos exurere.^
Sen, Filia, heus.
Mat, Quid est ? quid agimus ?

Sen. Quid si ego hue servos cito ?

ibo, abducam qui hunc bine tollant et domi devin-

eiant,
prius quam turbarum quid faeiat amplius.
Men, S, Enim haereo ;

ni occupo aliquid mihi consilium, hi domum me ad

se auferent.
pugnis me votas in huius ore quiequam parcere,
ni a meis oculis abscedat in malam magnam crueem.
faeiam quod iubes, Apollo.
Sen . Fuge domum, quantum potest, 850

ne hie te obtundat.
Mat. Fugio. amabo, adserva istune, mi pater,

ne quo hine abeat. sumne ego mulier misera, quae
illaec audio ?
Men. S. Haud male, Apollo, illane amovi ; nunc hunc im-
purissimum,
barbatum, tremulum Tithonum, qui cluet Cygno

patre,
ita mihi imperas ut ego huius membra atque ossa

atque artua
comminuam illo scipione quem ipse habet.
Sen. Dabitur malum,

me quidem si attigeris aut si propius ad me acces-
seris.

^ Leo brackets following v., 843 :
Men. S. Ei mihiy insanire me aiunt, tUtro cum ipsi insaniunt.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Father (in helpless rage) Ugh ! Curse you !

Men.S. Lo! Apollo from his oracle doth bid me burn her
eyes out with blazing brands !

Wife He'll murder me, father dear ! he threatens to
bum my eyes out !

Father (in low tone) Hey ! daughter !

Wife What is it ? What shall we do ?

Father How about my calling the servants here ? I'll go
and fetch some to carry him away from here and
tie him up at home before he makes any more
trouble.

Men.S. (aside) Now then, I'm stuck! Unless I get the
start of them with some scheme, they'll be taking
me off to their house, (intercepting the old man
and glaring at wife) Thou dost bid me, Apollo,
to spare my fists in no wise upon her face, unless
she doth leave my sight and — ^get to the devil out
of here ! I will do as thou biddest, Apollo !
{advancing upon her)

Father Run, run home as fast as you can before he batters
you to bits !

Wife (rushing for the door) Yes, I'm running. Do,
please, keep watch of him, father dear, and don't
let him leave this place ! Oh, miserable woman
that I am, to have to hear such words ! [exit.

Men.S. Not badly, oh Apollo, did I remove that female !
Now for this beastly, bewhiskered, doddering
Tithonus, who calls himself the son of Cygnus^
— these be thy commands, that I crush his limbs
and bones and joints with that same staff which
he doth carry ! (advances)

Father (retreating and raising his staffs) You'll get hurt
if you touch me, I tell you, or if you come any
nearer to me !

^ A mistake, probably intentional,
son of Laomedon.

Tithonus was the

451

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men, S. Faciam quod lubes ; securim capiam ancipitem,
atque hunc senem
osse fini dedolabo assulatim viscera.
Sen, Enim vero illud praecavendumst, atque adcuran-

dumst mihi ; 860

sane ego ilium metuo, ut minatur, ne quid male
faxit mihi.
Men. S. Multa mi imperas^ Apollo ; nunc equos iunctos
iubes
capere me indomitos^ ferocis, atque in currum

inscendere,
ut ego hunc proteram leonem vetulum, olentem,

edentulum.
iam adstiti in currum^ iam lora teneo^ iam stimulus

in manust.
agite equi, facitote sonitus ungularum appareat,
cursu celeri facite inflexa sit pedum pemicitas.
Sen, Mihin equis iunctis minare ?
Men, S, Ecce, Apollo, denuo

me iubes facere impetum in eum qui stat atque

occidere.
sed quis hie est qui me capillo hinc de curru deripit ? 870
imperium tuom demutat atque edictum Apollinis.
Sen, Eu hercle morbum acrem ac durum ^ di vostram
fidem.
vel hie qui insanity quam valuit paulo prius.
ei derepente tantus morbus incidit.
ibo atque accersam medicum iam quantum potest.

V. 3.

Men. S, lamne isti abierunt, quaeso, ex conspectu meo,
qui me vi cogunt, ut validus insaniam ?

* Leo notes lacuna here : {exanimis cvJ^at. ut incerta
aalus eat hominum) Schoell.
452

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S. I will do as thou biddest ! I will take a double-
edged axe, and this old man — I'll hew away his
flesh, gobbet by gobbet, to the very bone !

Father (aside, timorous^, still retreating) I must be on my
guard and look out for myself, indeed I must!
Really, Fm afraid he'll do me some injury, from
the way he threatens me.

Men.S. Many are thy commands, Apollo. Now thou dost
bid me take yok^d steeds, unbroken, fiery, and
mount a chariot that I may dash to earth this
aged, stinking, toothless lion, {mounts his chariot)
Now am I in my car ! Now do I hold the reins !
Now have I goad in hand ! On, steeds, on ! Let
the ring of your hoof-beats be heard ! Let your
fleetness of foot rush you rapidly on ! {gallops
about)

Father (clutching his staff) You threaten me with yok^d
steeds — me ?

Men.S. Lo, Apollo ! Anew thou biddest me charge upon
this man who stands here and lay him low !
(charges ; the old man raises his staff; the charioteer
stops short) But who is this who by the hair doth
tear me from the car ? He revokes thy command
and the edict of Apollo! (J^alls to the ground,
apparently senseless)

Father Well ! Good heavens, what an acute, severe
attack ! Lord save us ! Now this man who's gone
insane — how healthy he was a little while ago ! For
him to have such an attack so suddenly! I'll go and
summon a doctor as soon as I possibly can. [exit.

Scene 3.

Men.S. (getting up and looking about) For Heaven's sake,
are they out of my sight now, those two that
absolutely compelled me, sound though I am, to

453

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

quid cesso abire ad navem^ dum salvo licet ?
vosque omnis quaeso^ si senex revenerit, 879, 880

ne me indicetis qua platea hine aufugerim.
Sen. Lumbi sedendo, oculi spectando dolent,

manendo medicum^ dum se ex opere reeipiat.
odiosus tandem vix ab aegrotis venit.
ait se obligasse cms fractum Aesculapio,
Apollini autem brachium. nunc cogito,
utrum me dicam ducere medicum an fabrum.
atque eccum incedit. move formicinum gradum.

V. 4.

Med. Quid esse illi morbi, dixeras ? narra, senex.

num laruatust aut cerritus ? fac sciam. 890

num eum vetemus aut aqua intercus tenet ?
Sen. Quin ea te causa duco^ ut id dicas mihi

atque ilium ut sanum facias.
Med. Perfacile id quidemst.

sanum futurum, mea ego id promitto fide.
Sen. Magna cum cura ego ilium curari volo.
Med. Quin suspirabo plus sescenta in die ;

ita ego eum cum cura magna curabo tibi.

Sen. Atque eccum ipsum hominem. observemus, quam

rem agat.
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THE TWO MENAECH MUSES

go insane ? Vd better hurry off to the ship while
I can do so safely, {to audience) I beg you, all
of you, if the old man comes back, don't tell him
which way I bolted. [exit.

ENTER Father-in-law,

Faiher My loins ache from sitting and my eyes from
watching, while I waited for the doctor to come
back from his calls. Finally he did manage to
get away from his patients, the bore! He says
he set a broken leg for Aesculapius, and put
Apollo's arm in a splint, besides ! So now I am
wondering whether to say Fm bringing a saw-
bones or a stonecutter, (^glancing down the street^
Just look at him mince along ! {calling) Quicken
that ant's pace of yours !

Scene 4.

ENTER A DOCTOR.

Doctor {ponderously) What was the nature of his attack,
did you say.^ State the symptoms, old gentle-
man. Is it a demoniacal visitation or paranoia?
Inform me. Does he suffer from a lethargical
habit or intercutaneous fluid }

Faiher {sharply) Why, I brought you just to tell me that
and cure him.

Doctor {lightly) Oh, that is easy, quite easy. He shall be
cured — I promise you that upon my honour.

Father {distrustfully) I want him to be cared for very
carefully indeed.

Doctor {reassuringly waggish) Why, I will sigh more than
six hundred times a day ; that shows how I will
care for him very carefully indeed for you.

Father {looking down street) Ah, there is our man himself !
Let's watch what he does, {they step back)

455

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

V. 5.

Men, £depol ne hie dies pervorsus atque advorsus mi
optigit.
quae me clam ratus sum facere, ea omnia fecit palam 900
parasitus^ qui me complevit flagiti et formidinis^
meus Vlixes, suo qui regi tantum concivit mali.
quem ego hominem^ siquidem vivo, vita evolvam

sua —
sed ego stultus sum, qui illius esse dico, quae meast;
meo cibo et sumptu educatust. anima privabo

virum.
condigne autem haec meretrix fecit, ut mos est

meretricius :
quia rogo, palla ut referatur rursum ad uxorem

meam,
mihi se ait dedisse. eu edepol ne ego homo vivo
miser.
Sen, Audin quae loquitur ?
Med. Se miserum praedicat.

Sen, Adeas velim.

Med. Salvos sis, Menaechme. quaeso, cur apertas

brachium? 910

non tu scis, quantum isti morbo nunc tuo facias
mali?
Men. Quin tu te suspendis ?
Sen, Ecquid sentis ?

Med. Quidni sentiam ?

non potest haec res ellebori iungere ^ optinerier.
sed quid ais, Menaechme ?
Men. Quid vis ?

Med. Die mihi hoc quod te rogo :

album an atrum vinum potas ?
Men. Quin tu is in malam crucem ?

^ Corrupt (Leo) : uno onere Leo.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Scene 5. enter Menaeckmus.

Men, Good Lord ! This has certainly proved a perverse
and adverse day for me ! Everything I thought I
was doing on the sly has got out, thanks to that
parasite who's overwhelmed me with infamy and
fear — that Ulysses of mine who's brewed such a
mess for his lord and master ! Sure as Tm alive,
ril shuffle off that fellow's mortal coil ! His ?
I'm a fool to call it his, when it's mine ; it's my
food and my money he's been reared on. I'll cut
that worthy off from the breath of life ! But as
for the harlot, she was true to style, did only
what her class always do ! Because I ask her to
let me carry the mantle back to my wife again,
she says she has given it to me. Well ! By Jove,
I certainly do lead a miserable life !

Father (to the Doctor) Do you catch what he says ?

Doctor He declares that he is miserable.

Father I should like you to go up to him.

Doctor (advancing) Good day, Menaechmus. But, my
dear man, why do you expose your arm.'* Are
you not aware how injurious that is to one suffer-
ing from your present complaint ?

Men. (violently) You be hanged ! (the Doctor jumps)

Father (aside to Doctor) Do you notice anything ?

Doctor I should say I do. This case is beyond the powers
of a wagon-load of hellebore. But see here,
Menaechmus.

Men. What d'ye want ^

Doctor Answer me this question : do you drink white or
red wine ?

Men. Oh, go to the devil !

457

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Med. lam hercle occeptat insanire primulum.^
Men, Quin tu me interrogas,

purpureum panem an puniceum soleam ego esse

an luteum ?
soleamne esse avis squamosas^ piscis pennatos ?
Sen, Papae,

audin tu ut deliramenta loquitur? quid cessas

dare 919,920

potionis aliquid prius quam percipit insania ?
Med. Mane modo^ etiam percontabor alia.
Sen, Occidis fabulans.

Med, Die mihi hoc : solent tibi umquam oculi duri fieri ?
Men, Quid? tu me lucustam censes esse^ homo igna-

vissime ?
Med. Die mihi : en umquam intestina tibi crepant, quod

sentias ?
Men, Vbi satur sum, nulla crepitant ; quando esurio, turn

crepant.
Med, Hoc quidem edepol hau pro insano verbum re-
spondit mihi.
perdormiscin usque ad lucem ? facilen tu dormis
Cubans ?
Men, Perdormisco, si resolvi argentum cui debeo —

qui te luppiter dique omnes, percontator, perduint. 930
Med, Nunc homo insanire occeptat ; de illis verbis cave

tibi.
Sen, Immo Nestor nunc quidem est de verbis, praeut
dudum fuit ;
nam dudum uxorem suam esse aiebat rabiosam
canem.

* Jj&o notes lacuna here : Sen. Quin tu occipis curare
eum ? Med. Quin tu reapondes mihi ? Leo.
458

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Doctor (to Father) Ah yes, now he begins to manifest the
first sjTmptoms of insanity.

Men. Why don't you inquire whether the bread I
generally eat is blood red, rose red, or saffron
yellow ? Whether I generally eat birds with
scales, fish with feathers ?

Father (to Doctor) Dear, dear ! Do you hear how wildly
he talks ? Why don't you hurry up and give him
a dose of something before he goes insane
entirely ?

Doctor (to the Father) Now, now, one moment! I will
question him still further.

Father You're killing me with your talk !

Doctor (to patient) Tell me this : do you ever experience
a sensation of hardness in the eyes ?

Men. What? You good-for-nothing, do you take me
for a lobster ?

Doctor Tell me : do you ever have a rumbling of the
bowels, so far as you observe ?

Men, Not after I've had a square meal ; when I'm
hungry, then there's a rumbling.

Doctor (to Father) Well, well ! There's no indication
of insanity in that reply, (to Menaechmtis) Do
you sleep entirely through the night ? Do you
fall asleep readily on retiring ?

Men, I sleep through if I've paid my bills — (angrily)
may all the powers above consume you, you
inquisitive ass !

Doctor (hacking away) Now the man does begin to mani-
fest insanity ! You hear him — look out for your-
self!

Father Oh no, to hear him now you'd think him a perfect
Nestor* compared with what he was a while ago.
Why, a while ago he called his wife a rabid bitch.

* The counsellor of the Greeks at Troy.

^ 459

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. Quid, ego ?

Sen, Dixti insanus^ inquam.

Men, Egone ?

Sen. Tu istic, qui mihi

etiam me iunctis quadrigis mlnitatu's prosteniere.

egomet haec te vidi facere, egomet haec ted
arguo, 936-940

Men, At ego te sacram coronam surrupuisse lovi scio,

et ob earn rem in earcerem ted esse compactum scio,

et postquam es emissus^ caesum virgis sub furca scio ;

tum patrem occidisse et matrem vendidisse etiam
scio.

satin haec pro sano Inale dicta male dictis re-
spondeo ?
Sen. Obsecro hercle, medice, propere, quidquid fac-
tum's, face.

non vides hominem insanire ?
Med. Scin quid facias optimum est ?

ad me face uti deferatur.
Sen, Itane censes ?

Med, Quippini ?

ibi meo arbitratu potero curare hominem.
Sen. Age ut lubet.

Med, Elleborum potabis faxo aliquos viginti dies. 950

Men. At ego te pendentem fodiam stimulis triginta dies.
Med. ly arcesse homines, qui illunc ad me deferant.
Sen. Quot sunt satis ?

Med. Proinde ut insanire video, quattuor, nihilo minus.
Sen. lamhicerunt. asserva tu istunc, medice.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Eh? I?

Yes, while you were raving.

Yes, you, and you kept threatening me, too — that
you would dash me to the earth with a yok6d
four-in-hand. I myself saw you do all this. I
myself accuse you of it.

(incensed) Yes, and you stole the sacred crown
from Jupiter's statue, I know that ; and you were
put in prison for it, I know that ; and after getting
out, you were put in the stocks and whipped, I
know that ; and then you murdered your father
and sold your mother, that's something more I
know. Do I pay you back your abuse well enough
for a sane man, eh ? *

For God's sake, doctor, whatever you're going to
do, hurry up and do it ! Don't you see the man
is insane }

(aside to FcUker) Do you know what you had best
do ? Have him conveyed to my house.
You advise that ?

By all means. There I shall be able to care for
him as I deem expedient.
Do as you please.

(to Menaechmus) You shall drink hellebore, I pro-
mise you, for some twenty days.
But I'll string you up and jab goads into you for
thirty days.

(aside to Father) Go, summon men to convey him
to my house.
How many are needed ?

Considering the degre'e of insanity I note, four,
no less.

They shall be here soon. Keep watch of him,
doctor.

461

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Med. Immo ibo domum^

ut parentur quibus paratis opus est. tu servos iube
hunc ad me ferant.
Sen. lam ego illic faxo erit.

Med. Abeo.

Sen. Vale.

Men. Abiit soeerus, abiit medicus.^ solus sum. pro
luppiter,
quid illuc est quod med hisce homines insanire

praedicant ?
nam equidem^ postquam gnatus sum^ numquam

aegrotavi unum diem,
neque ego insanio neque pugnas nequ^ ego litis

coepio. 960

salvus salvos alios video, novi homines, adloquor.
an illi perperam insanire me aiunt, ipsi insaniunt ?
quid ego nunc faciam ? domum ire cupio, uxor non

sinit.
hucautem nemo intromittit. nimis proventum est

nequiter.
hie ero usque ; ad noctem saltem, credo, intromittar
domum.

V. 6.

Mes. Spectamen bono servo id est, qui rem erilem

procurat, videt, collocat cogitatque,
ut absente ero rem eri diligenter

tutetur, quam si ipse adsit aut rectius.
tergum quam gulam, crura quam ventrem oportet 970

potiora esse, cui cor modeste situmst.
recordetur id,

qui nihili sunt, quid eis preti

462

^ Leo brackets following nunc.

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Doctor {clearly reltwtanf) No, no ! I shall go home so as
to make the necessary preparations. You order
the servants to bring him to my house.

Futker Hell be there soon, I promise you.

Doctor I am going.

Father Good-bye. [exeunt.

Men, {looking after therri) Father-in-law's gone. Doctor's
gone. AH alone ! Lord save us ! What is it
makes those men declare I'm insane ? Why, as a
matter of fact, I've never had a sick day since I
was born. Vm. neither insane, nor looking for
fights, nor starting disputes, not I. Vm perfectly
sound and regard others as sound ; I recognize
people, talk to them. Can it be they're insane
themselves with their absurd statements that I'm
insane ? {pauses) What shall 1 do now ? I long
to go home, but my wife won't let me. And as
for this place, [glaring at Erotium's house) no one
will let me in. Oh what damnable luck ! {pauses)
Here's where I'll stay, indefinitely ; I fancy I'll be
let into the house at nightfall, anyhow.

Scene 6. enter Messenio,

Mes, {self-righteous and smug) This is your proof of a
good servant who looks after his master's business,
sees to it, gives it his care and consideration —
when he watches over his master's business in
his master's absence just as diligently as if he was
present, or even more so. The chap that's got
his wits in the proper place ought to think more
of his back than his gullet, more of his shanks
than his belly. He'd better recollect how good-
for-nothings, lazy, rascally fellows, are rewarded

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

detur ab suis ens, ignavis, improbis viris :
verbera compedes

molae,^ lassitudo fames frigus durum,
haec pretia sunt ignaviae.
id ego male malum metuo ; propterea bonum esse

certumst potius quam malum,
nam magis multo patior facilius verba; verbera

ego odl,
nimioque edo lubentius molitum, quam molitum

praehibeo.
propterea eri imperium exsequor, bene et sedate

servo id ; 980

atque mihi id prodest.
alii ita ut in rem esse dueunt, sint ; ego ita ero ut

me esse oportet :
metum mihi adhibeam, culpam abstineam, ero ut

omnibus in locis sim praesto.2
metuam baud multum. prope est quando erus ob

facta pretium exsolvet.
eo ego exemplo servio,

tergi ut in rem esse arbitror.
postquam in tabernam vasa et servos eonlocavi, ut

iusserat,
ita venio adversum. nunc foris pultabo, adesse ut

me sciat,
atque eum ^ ex hoc saltu damni salvom ut educam

foras.
sed metuo, ne sero veniam depugnato proelio.

* Leo brackets following magna,

2 Leo brackets following vv. , 983a-983b :

serviy qui cum cidpa carent m^tuont, solent ease eria utihilea,
nam illi^ qui nil m^etuont, postquam, malum promeriti, tunc
ei metuont.

' atque eum Brix : nequ£ utrum MSS.
464

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

by their masters : whippings, shackles, work in
the mill, fag, famine, freezing stiff — these are the
rewards of laziness. I'm badly afraid of such bad
things, personally ; that's why I've made up my
mind to lead a good life rather than a bad one.
I can stand chiding a great deal more easily — ^but
a hiding I can't abide, myself, and I'd very much
rather eat the meal than turn the mill. That's
why I follow out master's orders, attend to 'em
properly and sedately ; yes^ indeed, I find it pays.
Others can act as they think good for *em ; I'm
going to be the sort of chap I should be — I must
have a sense of fear, I must keep straight, so as
to be on hand for master anywhere. ^ I shan't have
much to fear. The day's near when master will
. reward me for my service. I do my work on the
principle that I think is good for my back. Here
I come to meet master just as he told me, now
that I've left the luggage and slaves at an inn.
Now I'll knock at the door, so as to let him know
I'm here, and lead him safely out of this ravine
of ruination. But I'm afraid I'll be too late and
find the battle over, {goes to Erotiums doorway)

^ vv. 983a-983b : Servants that are afraid even when
they're blameless, they're the ones that are always of
some use to their masters. And I tell you, the ones
that aren't afraid at all are afraid all right after they've
earned a thrashing.

VOL. II. H H

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

V. 7.

Sen, Per ego vobis deos atque homines dico, ut imperium

meum 990

sapienter habeatis eurae^ quae imperavi atque im-

pero.
faeite illie homo iam in medicinam ablatus subH-

men siet,
nisi quidem vos vostra crura aut latera nihili pen-

ditis.
cave quisquam^ quod illic minitetur^ vostrum flocci

fecerit.
quid statis ? quid dubitatis ? iam sublimen raptum

oportuit.
ego ibo ad medicum ; praesto ero illi^ cum venietis.
Men, Occidi,

quid hoc est negoti ? quid illisce homines ad me

currunt, opsecro ?
quid voltis vos ? quid quaeritatis ? quid me circum-

sistitis ?
quo rapitis me? quo fertis me? perii, opsecro

vestram fidem^
Epidamnienses, subvenite, cives. quin me mittitis ? 1000
Mes. Pro di immortales, obsecro, quid ego oCulis aspicio
meis?
erum meum indignissime nesdo qui sublimen
ferunt.
Men, Ecquis suppetias mihi audet ferre ?
Mes. Ego, ere, audacissime.

o facinus indignum et malum,

Epidamnii cives, erum
meum hie in pacato oppido

luci deripier in via,
qui liber ad vos venerit.
mittite istunc.
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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Scene 7. enter Father-in-law with slaves.

Father (to slaves, sternly) By heaven and earth, I charge
you to be wise and heed my orders, past and
present. Pick up that man (indicating Menaech-
mus) and carry him at once to the doctor's office
— that is, unless you have no regard at all for your
legs or flanks. See that none of you cares a
straw for his threats. Why are you standing still ?
Why are you hesitating } He ought to have been
hoisted up and carried off already. TU go to
the doctor's; Fll be at hand there when you
arrive. [exit.

Men, (as the slaves dash at him) Murder ! What does
this mean ? What are those fellows rushing at
me for, in the name of heaven ? What do you
want ? What are you after ? What are you
surrounding me for ? Where are you pulling me }
Where aa-e you carrying me ? (struggling on their
shoulders) Murder I Help, help, Epidamnians, I
beg you I Save me, fellow-citizens ! Let me go,
I tell you !

Mes, Ye immortal gods ! In heaven's name, what is this
my eyes behold ? My master being carried off by
some gang of rowdies in most outrageous fashion !

Men. Doesn't anyone dare come to my rescue ?

Mes. (running up) I do, master, — like a regular dare-
. devil ! (yelling lustily) Oh, what an outrage, what
a shame, Epidamnians ! My master, a free-bom
visitor amongst you, to be abducted here in time
of peace, in broad daylight, in your city streets !
Let go of him !

467

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. Obsecro te, quisquis es, operam mihi ut des,

neu sinas in me insignite fieri tantam iniuriam.
Mes, Immo et operam dabo et defendam et subvenibo
sedulo.
numquam te patiar perire, me perirest aequius. 1010
eripe oculum isti, ab umero qui tenet, ere, te

obsecro.
hisee ego iam sementem in ore faciam pugnosque

obseram.
maximo hodie malo herele vostro istunc fertis.
mittite.
Men, Teneo ego huic oculum.
Mes. Face ut oculi locus in capite appareat.

vos scelesti, vos rapacis, vos praedones.
Lorarii Periimus.

obsecro herele.
Mes, Mittite ergo.

Men, Quid me vobis tactiost }

pecte pugnis.
Mes. Agite abite, fugite hinc in malam crucem.

em tibi etiam : quia postremus cedis, hoc praemi

feres,
nimis bene ora commetavi atque ex mea sententia.
edepol, ere, ne tibi suppetias temper! adveni modo. 1020
Men. At tibi di semper, adulescens, quisquis es, faciant
bene,
nam absque te esset, hodie numquam ad solem
occasum viverem,
Mes, Ergo edepol, si recte facias, ere, med emittas manu.
Men, Liberem ego te ?
468

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men, For Heaven's sake^ whoever you are, stand by me
and don't let me be maltreated in such atrocious
fashion !

Mes. Not I ! Stand by you I will, and defend you and
help you with all my heart ! I won't let you be
murdered, never ! Better myself than you ! For
Heaven's sake, master, pull out the eye of that
chap that has you by the shoulder! (swinging
vigorously at the nearest slaves) As for these fellows
here, Tm going to seed down their faces for them
directly and plant my fists. By gad, you'll pay
dear this day for carrying him off ! Let go !

Men, I've got this one by the eye !

Mes, Leave the socket showing in his head ! (warming
up to his work) You rascals ! You robbers ! You
bandits !

Slaves Murder ! Oh, for God's sake, let up !

Mes, Let go, then ! (they drop Menaechmus)

Men, {assisting Messenio) What do you mean by touching
me? (to Messenio) Comb them down with your
fists ! (the slaves scatter)

Mes, Come, clear out ! Get to the devil out of here !
(with a parting kick to a laggard) There's another
for you — take it as a prize for being the last to
leave ! [exeunt slaves.] (smirking) Oh, I measured
their faces in fine style and quite to my taste. By
Jove, master, I certainly did come to your aid in
the nick of time just now !

Men, Well, Heaven bless you for ever and ever, young
man, whoever you are. For if it hadn't been for
you, I should never have lived to see the sun go
down this day.

Mes. Then, by Jove, master, if you did the right thing
you'd set me free.

Men, I set you free ^

^69

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Mes, Verum, quandoquidem^ ere, te servavi.

Men. Quid est ?

adulescens, erras.
Mes Quid, erro ?

Men, Per lovem adiuro patrem,

med erum tuom non esse.
Mes. Non taces ?

Men. Non mentior ;

nee meus servos umquam tale fecit quale tu mihi.
Mes. Sic sine igitur, si tuom negas me esse, abire liberum.
Men. Mea quidem hercle causa liber esto atque ito quo

voles.
Mes. Nempe iubes ?

Men. lubeo hercle, si quid imperi est in te mihi. 1030

Mes. Salve, mi patrone. cum tu liber es, Messenio,

gaudeo. credo hercle vobis. sed, patrone, te ob-

secro,
ne minus imperes mihi quam cum tuos servos fui.
apud ted habitabo et quando ibis, una tecum ibo
domum.
Men. Minime.

Mes. Nunc ibo in tabernam, vasa atque argentum tibi

referam. recte est obsignatum in vidulo marsup-

pium
cum viatico ; id tibi iam hue adferam.
Men. Adfer strenue.

Mes. Salvom tibi ita ut mihi dedisti reddibo. hie me

mane.
Men. Nimia mira mihi quidem liodie exorta sunt miris
modis :
alii me negant eum esse qui sum, atque excludunt
forasi 1040

^ Leo notes lacuna following : etiam hie servom esse se
meum aiehcU quern ego emisi manu P : followed by Lindsay,
who brackets 1041-1042.
470

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Mes, Yes indeed, seeing I saved your life, master.

Men. What's this ? You're making a mistake, young
man.

Mes, Eh ? A mistake ?

Men. Why, I swear by Father Jupiter I'm not your
master.

Mes. (^protestingly) Oh, none of that, sir !

Men. Tm not lying ; no slave of mine ever did such a
thing as you did for me.

Mes. Very well then, sir, if you say I'm not yours, let
me go free.

Men. Lord, man, be free so far as I am concerned, and
go where you like.

Mes. {eagerly) 'Those are your orders, really ?

Men. Lord, yes, if I have any authority over you.

Mes. (mid with joy) Hail, patron mine ! " Messenio, I
congratulate you on your freedom ! " By gad,
I take your word for it ! But, patron, I beseech
you, don't order me about any less than when I
was your slave. I intend to live with you, and
when you go home I'll go with you.

Men. (aside) Oh no you won't.

Mes. Now I'll go to the inn and fetch the luggage and
cash for you. The wallet with the travelling
money is duly under seal in the bag ; I'll bring
it here to you directly.

Men. (interested) Be quick about it.

Mes. I'll give it back to you intact, sir, just as you gave
it to me. Wait for me here. [exit.

Men. Well, well, how strangely strange things have
happened to me to-day ! Here are people saying
I'm not myself and shutting me out of doors, and

471

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

vel ille qui se petere argentum modo^ qui servom

se meum
esse aiebat^ meus servator^ quern ego modo emisi

manu.
is ait se mihi allaturum cum argento marsuppium ;
id si attulerit, dicam ut a me abeat liber quo volet,
ne timi^ quando sanus factus sit^ a me argentum

petat.
socer et medieus me insanire aiebant. quid sit^

mira sunt,
haec nihilo esse mihi videntur setius quam somnia.
nunc ibo intro ad banc meretrieem^ quamquam

suscenset mihi^
si possum exorare ut pallam reddat^ quam referam

domum.

V. 8.

Men, S, Men hodie usquam convenisse te, audax^ audes

dicere, 1050

postquam advorsum mi imperavi ut hue venires ?
Mes. Quin modo

erupui^ homines quom ferebant te sublimen quat-

tuor,
apud hasce aedis. tu elamabas deum (idem atque

hominum omnium^
quom ego accurro teque eripio vi pugnando in-

gratiis.
ob eam rem^ quia te servavi^ me amisisti liberum.
cum argentum dixi me petere et vasa^ tu quantum

potest
praecucurristi obviam^ ut quae fecisti infitias eas.
Men, S, Liberum ego te iussi abire ?
Mes, Certo.

Men, S. Quin certissimiunst,

mepte potius fieri servom, quam te umquam emit-

tam manu.
472

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

there's that fellow who just now said he was going
to fetch me some money and that he was my slave
— ^that saviour of mine^ whom I just now set free.
He says he'll bring me a wallet with money in it ;
if he does. Til tell him to leave me and enjoy his
freedom wherever he likes, so that he won't be
coming to me for his money when he regains his
sanity, (pauses) My father-in-law and the doctor
said I was insane. It's a marvel to me what all
this means ! It seems just like a dream, (reflects)
Now I will go into this harlot's house, no matter
if she is in a rage with me, and see if I can't
induce her to give me back the mantle to carry
back home. [exit into Erotiums house.

Scene 8. enter Menaeckmus Sosicles and Messenio,

Men.S, You cheeky rascal, you have the cheek to tell me
you have encountered me anywhere to-day since
the time I ordered you to come here and meet

Mes, (much aggrieved) Why, sir, I just now rescued you
when four men were carrying you off on their
shoulders in front of this very house. You were
yelling for all heaven and earth to help you,
when up I ran and rescued you by good hard
fighting, in spite of 'em. And for this, because
I'd saved you, you've set me free. Then the
moment I said I was going to get the money and
luggage, you ran ahead as fast as you could to
meet me, so as to deny what you had done !

Men.S, So I ordered you to go free, eh ?

Mes. (hopefulU/) Certainly, sir.

Men.S, (empkaUcallt/) Well, the most certain thing in the
world is this — I had rather become a slave myself
than ever free you.

473

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

V. 9.

Men. Si voltis per oculos iurare, nihilo hercle ea causa

magis 1060

facietis, ut ego hodie abstulerim pallam et spinter,

pessumae.
Mes, Pro di immortales^ quid ego video ?
Men. S, Quid vides ?

Mes. Speculum tuom.

Men. S. Quid negoti est ?

Mes. Tuast imago, tam consimilest quam potest.

Men. S. Pol profecto baud est dissimilis, meam quom for-

mam noscito.
Men. O adulescens, salve, qui me servavisti, quisquis es.
Mes. Adulescens, quaeso hercle eloquere tuom mihi no-
men, nisi piget.
Men. Non edepol ita promeruisti de me, ut pigeat, quae

velis
obsequi. mihi est Menaechmo nomen.
Men. S. Immo edepol mihi.

Men. Siculus sum Syracusanus.

Men. S. Eadem urbs et patria est mihi.

Men. Quid ego ex te audio ?
Men. S. Hoc quod res est.

Mes. Novi equidem hunc ; erus est meus. 1070

ego quidem huius servos sum, sed med esse huius

credidi.
ego hunc censebam te esse, huic etiam exhibui

negotium.
quaeso ignoscas, si quid stulte dixi atque impru-

dens tibi.

474

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Scene 9. enter Menaechmus from Erotiums house.

Men. {to those within) Swear it by the eyes in your head

if you like, but, by the Lord, that won't make it

any more true that I took off the mantle and

bracelet to-day, you sluts !
Mes. (gazing at him) Ye immortal gods, what do I see ?
Men, S, What do you see ?
Mes, Your mirror !
Men,S, What do you mean ?
Mes. (pointing to Menaechmus) He's the very image of

you ! He's as like you as can be !
Men.S, (comparing himself with the stranger) By Jove ! He

certainly is not unlike me, now that I look myself

over.
Men. (seeing Messenio) Ah there, sir, bless you — ^you

that saved me, whoever you are !
Mes. Sir, for .the love of Heaven, do tell me your name,

if yoii don't object.
Men. Gad, man, your services to me haven't been such

that I should grudge meeting your wishes. My

name is Menaechmus.
Men.S. (startled) Good Lord, no; it's mine!
Men. I'm a Sicilian — a Syracusan.
Men.S. That's my city and my country, too.
Men. What's that you tell me ?
Men.S. The simple truth.
Mes. (half to himself , as he scans Menaechmtis) This is the

man I know, of course ; this is my master. I'm

really his slave, but I fancied (glancing at Men-
^ aechmus Sosicles) I was his. (to Mermechmus) I

\ thought he was you, sir, and what's more, I made

myself a nuisance to him, too. (to Menaechmus

Sosicles) I beg your pardon, sir, if I said anjrthing

silly to you without realising it.
' 475

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men, SL Delirare mihi videre. non commeministi^ simul

te hodie mecum exire ex navi ?
Mes, Enim vero aequom postulas.

tu erus es ; tu servom quaere, tu salveto ; tu vale.

hune ego esse aio Menaechmum.
Men, At ego me.

Men, S, Quae haec fabulast ?

tu es Menaeehmus ?
Men, Me esse dico^ Moscho prognatum patre.

Men, S, Tun meo patre es prognatus ?
Men, Immo equidem, adulescens, meo ;

tuom tibi neque occupare neque praeripere postulo. 1 080
Mes, Di immortales^ spem insperatam date mihi quam
suspicor.

nam nisi me animus fallit, hi sunt gemini germani
duo.

nam et patriam et patrem conmemorant pariter
qui fuerint sibi.

sevoeabo erum. Menaechme.

Men, \ r^ ,1 • :,

Men,s} Quid VIS?

Mes, Non ambos volo,

sed uter vostrorum est advectus mecum navi.

Men, Non ego.

Men. S, At ego.

Mes, Te volo igitur. hue concede.

Men, S, G>ncessi. quid est ?

Mes, lUic homo aut sycophanta aut geminus est frater
tuos.
nam ego hominem hominis similiorem numquam

vidi alterum.
476

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S. {sharply) You talk like an idiot. Do you not
remember coming ashore along with me to-day ?

Mes, {hurriedly) To be sure, you're right. It's you who
are my master, (to Menaechmtis) You seek another
slave, (to Menaechmus Sosicles) Good day to you,
sir. (to Menaechmiis) Good-bye to you, sir. I siay
this gentleman (indicating his master) is Men-
aechmus.

Men, But I say I am.

Men.S, (irritated) What yam is this.'* You are Men-
aechmus ?

Men, So I say — the son of Moschus.

Men,S, You the son of my father ?

Men, No indeed, sir,— of my own ; your father I have
no desire to pre-empt or steal from you.

Mes, (aside, after apparently profound thought) Ye im-
mortal gods ! fulfil the unhoped-for hope I think
I see before me ! Yes, unless my mind deceives
me, these two are the twin brothers ! Yes, what
they say about their country and father tallies
exactly. 1*11 call my master aside. Menaechmus,
sir !

-^ * o I What do you want }

Mes, I don't want both of you, but the one that

travelled on board ship with me.
Men, I did not.
Men.S, But I did.

Mes, You're the one I want, then, (withdrawing) G>me
i over here, sir.

I Men.S, (doing so) Here I am. What is it ?
1 Mes. (very sagacious and important) That man over there
is either a swindler, sir, or else he's your own
twin brother. For I never did see two men more

477

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

neque aqua aquae nee lacte est lactis^ crede mi^

usquam similius^
quam hie tui est, tuque huius autem ; post eandem

patriam ac patrem 1090

memorat. meliust nos adire atque hunc percon-
tarier.
Men, S. Hercle qui tu me admonuisti recte, et habeo
gratiam.
perge operam dare, ohsecro hercle ; liber esto, si

invenis
hunc meum fratrem esse.
Mes, Spero.

Men, S, Et ego item spero fore.

Mes, Quid ais tu? Menaechmum, opinor, te vocari

dixeras.
Men, Ita vero.

Mes, Huicitem Menaechmo nomen est. inSicilia

te Syracusis natum esse dixti ; et hie natust ibi.
Moschum tibi patrem fuisse dixti ; huic itidem fuit.
nunc operam potestis ambo mihi dare et vobis simul.
Me7i, Promeruisti ut ne quid ores quod velis, quin im-

petres. 1100

tarn quasi me emeris argento, liber servibo tibi.
Mes. Spes mihi est, vos inventurum fratres germanos
duos
geminos, una matre natos et patre uno uno die.
Men, Mira memoras. utinam eflicere quod poUicitu's

possies.
Mes, Possum, sed nunc agite uterque id quod rogabo

dicite.
Men. Vbi lubet, roga; respondebo. nil reticebo quod

sciam.
Mes. Est tibi nomen Menaechmo ?
Men, Fateor.

Mes. Est itidem tibi ?

478

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

alike. No drop of water^ no drop of milk^ is more
like another^ believe me, than he's like you, yes,
and you like him, sir. And then he says his
country and his father's name are the same as
yours. We'd better go up and question him.

Men.S, By Jove, you have given me good advice I
Thanks ! Go on helping me, for God's sake !
You are a free man if you find that he is my
brother.

Mes. I hope so.

Men.S, And I — I hope so, too !

Mes. {stepping up to Menaechmvs) Pardon me, sir. You
said your name was Menaechmus, I believe.

Men. I did indeed.

Mes. This (pointing to Menaechmus Sosicles) gentleman's
name is Menaechmus, too. You said you were
born in Syracuse in Sicily ; he also was born there.
You said your father's name was Moschus; so
was his. Now both of you can do me a good turn,
and yourselves as well.

Men. You have earned my consent to any request you
choose to make. Free though I am, I'll serve
you quite as if you had bought and paid for me.

Mes. I have hopes, sir, of finding that you two are twin
brothers, born of one mother and one father on
one day.

Men. A strange statement ! J wish you could bring to
pass what you promise.

Mes. I can. {tremendously earnest and subtle) But come
now, both of you, and answer my questions.

Men. Ask them when you like ; Fll answer. Nothing
that I know will I keep back.

Mes. Is your name Menaechmus }

Men. It is.

Mes. (to his master) And yours also ?

479

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TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. S, Est.

Mes, Patrem fuisse Moschum tibi ais ?

Men. Ita vero.

Men. S. Et mihi.

Mes. Esne tu Syracusanus ?

Men. Certo.

Mes. Quid tu ?

Men. S. Quippini ?

Mes. Optime usque adhuc conveniunt signa. porro

operam date. 1110

quid longissime meministi^ die mihi, in patria tua ?
Men. Cum patre ut abii Tarentum ad mercatum, postea

inter homines me deerrare a patre atque inde avehi.
Men, S. luppiter supreme, serva me.
Mes. Quid elamas ^ quin taces ?

quot eras annos gnatus, quom te pater a patria
avehit ?
Men. Septuennis ; nam tunc dentes mihi cadebant pri-
mulum.

neque patrem umquam postilla vidi.
Mes. Quid ? vos tum patri

filii quot eratis ?
Men. Vt nunc maxime memini, duo.

Mes. Vter eratis, tun an ille, maior ?
Men. Aeque ambo pares.

Mes. Qui id potest ?
Men. Gemini ambo eramus.

Men. S. Di me servatum volunt 1 1 20

Mes. Si interpellas, ego tacebo potius.

480

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S. Yes.

Mex. (to Menaechmus) Your father was Mosohus, you

say?
Men. I do indeed.

Men.S, And mine, too ! {Messenio scowU at hini)
Mex. {to Menaeckmm) Are you a Syracusan ?
Me?i. Certainly.

Ales. (to his master) How about you ?
Men.S. Of course I am.

Mex. Everything tallies perfectly so far. Your atten-
tion further, gentlemen, (to Menaechmws) What
is the earliest thing you remember, tell me, in your
own country?
Men. Going with my father to Tarentum, his place
of trade, and then straying from my father in the
crowd and being carried off !
Men.S. Lord above, preserve me !

Mes. (with asperity) What are you bawling out for?
Keep still, won't you ! (to Menaechmus) How old
were you when your father took you away from
home ?
Men. Seven ; you see, I was just beginning to lose my
first teeth. And 1 never saw my father after
that.
Mes. What ? And how many sons did your father liave

then ?.
Men. So far as I can now remember — two.
Mes. Which was the older, you or your brother r
Men. We were both of the same age.
Mes. How can that be ?
Men. We were twins.
Men.S. (unable to contain himself longer) Oh, God has been

good to me !
Mes. (with finaliiy) If you interrupt, I prefer to keep
still myself.

481

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TITUS MACCIUS PLALTUS

Men. S. Taceo.

Mes. Die mihi :

uno nomine anibo eratis ?
Men, Minime. nam mihi hoc erat,

quod nunc est, Menaechmo; ilium turn vocabant
Sosiclem.
Men. S. Signa adgnovi, contineri quin complectar non queo.
mi germane gemine frater, salve, ego sum Sosicles.
Men. Quo modo igitur post Menaechmo nomen est fac-
tum tibi ?
Men. S. Postquam ad nos renuntiatum est te ^ et patrein
esse mortuom,
avos noster mutavit; quod tibi nomen est, fecit
mihi.
Men. Credo ita esse factum ut dicis. sed mi hoc re-

sponde.
Men.S. Roga. 11^,11:50

Me?i. Quid erat nomen nostrae matri ?
Me7t. S. Teuximarchae.

Men. Convenit.

o salve, insperate multis annis post quern conspicor.
Men. S. Frater, et tu, quern ego multis miseriis laboribus
usque adhuc quaesivi quemque ego esse inventum
gaudeo.
Mes. Hoc erat, quod haec te meretrix huius vocabat
nomine ;
hunc censebat te esse, credo, quom vocat te ad
prandium.
Me?i. Namque edepol iussi hie mihi hodie prandium
appararier,
clam meam uxorem, quoi pallam surrupui dudum

domo^
eamdedihuic.

* Leo notes lacuna here : {et deerravisne a patrt et per
praedonem aliqvem ahiatMm esse) Ritschl.
482

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men.S. {contritely) 1*11 keep still.

Mes. (to Menaeckmus) Tell me, did you both have the
same name ?

Men. Oh no. Why, I had the same name as now,
Menaechmus ; he was called Sosieles then.

Men.S, {disregarding Messenios protests) The proof's com-
plete ! 1 can't hold back — I must give him a hug !
{einhracing Menaechmus) God bless you, brother,
my own twin brother ! I am Sosieles !

Men. {doubtJuP) How is it, then, you came to be called
Menaechmus }

Men.S. After word reached us that you * * * and that
our father was dead, our grandfather changed my
name ; he gave me yours.

Men. {still doubtful) No doubt this was the case. But
answer me this question.

Men.S. {eagerly) Ask it.

Men. What was our mother's name }

Men.S. Teuximarcha.

Men. [returning his embrace heartily) Right ! To see you,
so unhoped for, after all these years ! Oh, God
bless you !

Men.S. And you, too, brother ! I've searched and searched
for you till this moment — ^and a sad, weary search
it's been — and now you're found I'm happy.

Mes. {to his master) This was how the wench here
came to call you by his name; she mistook you
for him, I suppose, when she invited you to
lunch.

Men. (rejlecting, then frankly) Well, well ! The fact is,
I did tell them to prepare lunch for me here
to-day, unbeknown to my wife, whose mantle
I stole from the house a while ago and gave to the
wench here.

483
I I 2

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS

Men. S. Hanc, dicis, frater, pallam^ quam ego habeo r

Men, Haec east.

quo modo haec ad te pervenit ?
Men. S. Meretrix hue ad prandium 1 1 1-0

me abduxit^ me sibi dedisse aiebat. prandi perbene^

I)Otavi atque aecubui scortum, pallam et aurum hoe
abstuli.
Men. Gaudeo edepol, si quid propter me tibi evenit boni.

nam ilia quom te ad se vocabat, memet esse

credidit. 1144, 1145

Mes. Numquid me morare quin ego liber, ut iusti, siem ?
Men. Optimum atque aequissimum orat, frater; fac

causa mea.
Men. S. Liber esto.

Men. Quom tu es liber, gaudeo, Messenio.

Mes. Sed meliorest opus auspicio, ut liber perpetuo

siem. n 49, 11 50

Men. S. Quoniam haec evenerunt, frater, nostra ex sen-
tentia,

in patriam redeamus ambo.
Men. Frater, faciam, ut tu voles.

auctionem hie faciam et ven Jam quidquid est. nunc
interim

eamus intro, frater.
Mefi. S. Fiat.

Mes. Scitin quid ego vos rogo ?

Men. Quid ?

Mes. Praeconium mi ut detis.

Men. Dabitur.

Mes. Ergo nunciani

vis conclamari auctionem fore ?
Men. Equidem die septimi.

484

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THE TWO MENAECHMUSES

Men,S. Is this mantle I have the one you speak of,

brother ? {showing it)
Men. That's the one ! How did it come into your

hands ?
Men.S. The wench took me in here to luncheon and said

I had given it to her. Lunch I did, deuced well,

and drank, and enjoyed the girl, and carried off

the mantle and this piece of jewellery, (showing

bracelet)
Men. {laughiyig) By Jove ! I'm glad if you're my debtor

for a bit of amusement. For when she invited

you in, she took you for me.
Mes. (to Meittiechmns) You have no objection to my

being free, as you ordered, have you, sir ?
Men. A perfectly just and reasonjible request, brother.

Grant it, for my sake.
Men.S. (to Messenio) Be free.

Men. Messenio, I congratulate you on your freedom !
Mes. (ingratiatingly) But I need better auspices to be

free for good, sirs, (fvaits for smne hint of for the r

benefits)
Men.S. Now that things have turned out to our satis-
faction, brother, let's both go back to our own

country.
Men. As you please, brother. I'll hold an auction here

and sell all I have. In the meantime let's go

inside for the present, brother.
Men.S. By all means.

Mes. Do you know what I want of you, sirs ?
Men. What ?

Mes. To let me be auctioneer.
Men. You shall be.
Mes. Well, then, do you want it announced at once

that there'll be an auction ?
Men. Yes, a week from to-day.

48.5

yGoogk

TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS
Mcs, Auctio fiet Menaechmi mane sane septimi. .
venibunt servi, supellex, fundi^ aedes, omnia,
venibunt quiqui licebunt, praesenti pecunia.
venib!t uxor quoque etiam, si qiiis emptor venerit. 1 160
vix credo tota auetione capiet quinquagesies.^
ninic, spectatores, valete et nobis clare plaudite.
^ Corrupt (Leo) : qninqimgemnas Leo.

486

yGoogk

THE TWO MEN AECHM USES

Mcs, (bawling) Auction ... of the effects of Menaech-
mus . . . one week from to-day in the morning,
mind ! . . . For sale . . . slaves, household goods,
land, houses . . . everything ! . . . For sale . . . your
own price . . . cash down ! . . . For sale . . . even
a wife, too ... if any buyer appears ! (to specla-^
tors) I don't believe the whole auction will bring
him more than a mere — fifty thousand pounds.
Now, spectators, fare ye well and give us your
loud applause.

EXEUNT OMNES.

487

Digitized by VjOOQIC

yGoogk

INDEX OF PROPER NAMES

The index U limited to names of characters in the plays^ and of characterty
persons^ towns, countries and peoples mentioned tn the plays.

Acropolistis, Epid.

Agathocles. 404

Alcesimarcnus, Cist.

Aloesimus, Cas.

Ancilla, Men.

Apelles, 344

Apoecides, Epid.

Apulia, Apulian, 8

Arabian, 236

Archestrata, 260

Athens, Athenian, 10, 330, 342, 366

Attica, Attic, 70, 310, 330, 342

Auxilium, Cist.

Canthara, 336

Carta, 186, 194, 210, 212, 218, 224,

226, 236
Carian, 236
Cappadox, Cure.
Carthage, Carthaginian, 8, 132
Centauromacliia, 236
Chaeribulus, Epid.
Chaiinus, Cas.
Chian, 196
Choragus, Cure.
Classia Unomammia, 236
Cleobula, 260
Cleostrata, Cas.
Conterebromnia, 236
Cocus, Cas., Cure.
Coriendrus, 394
Cretan. 236
Curculio, Cure.
Cylindrus, Men.

Danista. Epid.
Deceo, 438
Deiphllus, 6
Demipho, Cist.

PLAUT. II.

Epidamnus, Epidamnian, 364, 368.

370, 388, 390, 392, 394, 402, 466'
Epldaurus, 226, 234, 248, 332, 334,

336, 346
Epidicus, Epid.
Erotium, Men.
Euboean, 292
Euthynicus, 108

Fidicina, Epid.

Greece, Greelc, 8, 220
Gymnasium, Cist.

Halisca, CiM.
Hiero, 404

man, 106
Illynan, 388
India, 236
Istrtan, 388
Italian, 388

Laconian, 302
Lampadio, Cist.
Leaena, Cure.
Lenmian, 112, 124
Libya, 236
Liparo, 404
Lycia, 236
Lyco. Cure.
Lysidamus, Cas.

Massilian, 102, 38S
Matrona, Men.
Medicus, Men.
Melaenis, Cist.
Menaechmus, Men.
Menaechmus Sosicles, Men.

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INDEX OF PROPER NAMES

Messenio, Men.
Miles, Epid.
Moschus, 404, 47C
Myrrhina, Cos.

Nemea, 82

Olympia, 82
Olympic, Cos.

Palinurus, Cure.
Paptilagonian, 236
PardaliBca, Cos.
Peniculus, Men.
Perbibesia, 236
Periplianes, 258
Perii^ianes Platenius, Epid.
Peredia, 286
Persian, 236
Pliaedromus, Cure.
Plianostrata, Cist.
Philippa, Epid.
Philippian, 236
Phintia, 404
Planesium. Cure.
Plautus, Plautine, 4, 6, 8, 366

Rhodes, 236

Samian, 382

Selenium. Cist.

Senex, Ctst.j Men.

Servus, Cist.

SicUy, Sicilian, 364, 404, 474, 478

Sicyon, Sicyonian, 112, 126, 128,

130. 232
Sinopian, 236
Spanish, 388
Stratippocles, Epid.
Summanus, 232, 234, 244, 246, 250
Sutrium, 58
Syra, Cw<.
Syracuse, 366, 368, 370, 404, 474,

478
Syrian, 236

Tarentuna, 368, 480
Telestis, Epid.
Teuximarcha, 482
Thebes, 280, 298, 302, 322, 346
Therapontigonus Platagidorus,

Cure.
Thesprio, Epid.
Tuscan, 158, 240

Zeuxis, 344

PRINTED IN OBEAT BRITAIN BT B. CLAT AND 80NS, LTD.,
BBUNSWICK STREET. STAMFORD STREET, S.E. I, AND BXTNOIT, SVITOLK.

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THE LOEB CLASSICAL
LIBRARY.

VOLUMES ALREADY PUBLISHED.

Latin Authors,

APULEIUS. The Golden Ass. (Metamorphoses.) Trans, by

W. Adlington (1566). Revised by S. Gaselee.
CAESAR : CIVIL WARS. Trans, by A. G. Peskett.
CAESAR ! GALLIC WAR. Trans, by H. J. Edwards.
CATULLUS. Trans, by F. W. Cornish ; TIBULLUS.

Trans, by J. P. Postgate ; and PERVIGILIUM VENERIS.

Trans, by J. W. Mackail. (^rd Impression.)
CICERO: DE FINIBUS. Trans, by H. Rackham.
CICERO : DE OFFICIIS. Trans, by Walter Miller.
CICERO: LETTERS TO ATTICUS. Trans, by E. O.

Winstedt. Vols. I and II.
CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE. Trans.byW. Walts

( 163 1 ). 2 Vols. {2nd Impression. )
HORACE : ODES AND EPODES. Trans, by C. E. Bennett.

{2nd Impression, )
OVID: HEROIDES AND AMORES. Trans, by Grant

Showerman.
OVID : METAMORPHOSES. Trans, by F. J. Miller. 2 Vols.
PETRONIUS. Trans, by M.Heseltine; SENECA: APOCO-

LOCYNTOSIS. Trans, by W. H. D. Rouse. {27td Im-
pression.)
PLAUTUS. Trans, by Paul Nixon. 5 Vols. Vols. I and II.
PLINY : LETTERS. Melmoth's Translation revised by

W. M. L. Hutchinson. 2 Vols.
PROPERTIUS. Trans, by H. E. Butler. {2nd Impression.)
SENECA: EPISTULAE MORALES. Trans, by R. M.

Gummere. 3 Vols. Vol. I.
SENECA : TRAGEDIES. Trans, by F. J. Miller. 2 Vols.
SUETONIUS. Trans, by J. C. Rolfe. 2 Vols.
TACITUS: DIALOGUS. Trans, by Sir Wm. Peterson;

and AGRICOLA AND GERMANIA. Trans, by Maurice

HuUon.
TERENCE. Trans, by John Sargeaunt. 2 Vols.
VIRGIL. Trans, by H. R. Fairclough. 2 Vols. Vol. I.

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Greek Authors.

ACHILLES TATIUS. Trans, by S. Gaselce.

APOLLONIUS RHODIUS. Trans, by R. C. Scaton. (2H,i /nr/resswn.}

THE APOSTOLIC FATHERS. Trans, by Kirsopp Lake. 2 Vols. (2////

APPIAN'S ROMAN HISTORY. Trans, by Horace White. 4 Vols.
IMPHNIS AND CHLOE. Thornley's Translation revised by J. M.

Edmonds ; and PARTHENIUS. Trans, by S. Gaselee.
DIO CASSIU5 : ROMAN HISTORY. Trans, by E. Cary. 9 Vols.

Vols. ItoVL
EURIPIDES. Trans, by A. S. Way. 4 Vols. {:znd Impression.)
GALEN : ON THE NATURAL FACULTIES. Trans, by A. J. Brock.
THE GREEK ANTHOLOGY. Trans, by W. R. Paton. 5 Vols. Vols.

ItoV.
THE GREEK BUCOLIC POETS (THEOCRITUS, BION, MOS-

CHUS). Trans, by J. M. Edmonds, (-ind Impression.')
HESIOD AND THE HOMERIC HYMNS. Trans, by H. G. Evelyn

^Vhite.
JULIAN. Trans, by Wilmcr Cave Wright. 3 Vols. Vols. I and II.
LUCIAN. Trans, by A. M. Harmon. 7 Vols. Vols. I and II.
MARCUS AURELIUS. Trans, by C. R. Haines.
PHILOSTRATUS : THE LIFE OF APOLLONIUS OF TVANA.

Trans, by F. C. Conybcare. 2 Vols. {;ind Impression. )
PINDAR. Trans, by Sir J. E. Sandys.
PLATO: EUTHYPHRO, APOLOGY, CRITO, PHAKDO, PHAE-

DRUS. Trans, by H. N. Fowler, {p^nd Impression.)
PLUTARCH: THE PARALLEL LIVES. Trans, by B. Perrin. 11 Vols.

Vols. I to VII.
PROCOPIUS : HISTORY OF THE WARS. Trans, by H. B. Dewing.

7 Vols. Vols. I to III.
gUINTUS SMYRNAEUS. Trans, by A. S. Way.
SOPHOCLES. Trans, by F. Storr. 2 Vols.
ST. JOHN DAMASCENE : BARLAAM AND lOASAPH. Trans, by

the Rev. G. R. Woodward and Harold Mattingly.
STRABO : GEOGR.APHY. Trans, by Horace L. Jones. 8 Vols. Vol. I.
THEOPHRASTUS : ENQUIRY INTO PLANTS. Tran.s. by Sir Arthur

Hort, Bart. 2 Vols.
XENOPHON : CRYOPAEDIA. Trans, by Walter Miller. 2 Vols.
XENOPHON : HELLENICA. Trans, by C. W. Brownson. 2 Vols.

Vol. I.

DESCRIPTIVE PROSPECTUS ON APPLICATION.

London .. - WILLIAM HEINEMANN.

New YorK . - G, P. PUTNAM'S SONS.

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