■'^^
s,
m
PRACTICAL HINTS
TO
YOUNG FEMALES,
ON THE DUTIES OP
A WIFE, A MOTHER, AND A MISTRESS OF A FAMILY.
BY MRS. TAYLOR,
Of Ongar,
Author of • Maternal Solicitude fw a Daughter's
Best Interesli.^
Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it
down with her hands. Sol<mon.
•KCOND AMERICAN EDITION.
BOSTON ;
WELLS AND LILLY, COURT-STREET.
1820.
^
CONTENTS.
Page.
Advei-dsement v
Introduction 1
Conduct to the Husband ..».. 12
Domestick Economy 21
Servants ..>.. 40
Education ^ 50
Sickness , 92
Visiters . 103
Keeping at Home 120
Recreation 130
The Step-Mother 137
To the Husband 147
Conclusion 169
ADVERTISEMENT.
It is not easy to form rules, or even to sug-
gest principles of practice, in such a manner
as shall render them applicable to individuals
of every class ; and it will be obvious, upon
a perusal of this little Work, that no attempt
of the kind has here been made. Females
in the middle ranks of society, in those espe-
cially which included numerous occupations
and confined circumstances, are more imme-
diately addressed ; and to them many of the '
following observations assume to be of essen-
tial importance : but, at the same time, a
hope is indulged, that readers of a different
description may gain an occasional hint, by
which their conduct in domestick life may
be improved.
VI ADVERTISEMENT.
The parties more expressly in view are
exempt (perhaps happily,) from that notorie-
ty and distinction by which the family ar-
rangements of such as move in the upper
walks of life are too frequently disturbed :
yet they occupy a station of sufficient emi-
nence to render their conduct highly impor-
tant to society. If it does not necessarily
expose them to dissipation, much less does it
degrade them into vulgarity or insignificance,
as the degree of intellectual cultivation to be
found among them evinces ; for it is not
every citizen in our days who is a Jolui Gil-
pin ; nor is every farmer a rustick. And
although the influence of good example in
the middle ranks can be but small upon those
which are more elevated ; yet it descends
like a kindly shower upon such as are
beneath them, and gives fertility to many a
spot which would otherwise have remained
sterile and unsightly : so that, (to adopt the
expressive language of inspiration,) Instead
ADVERTISEMENT. Vll
of the briar, comes up the myrtle ; and the
wilderness blossoms as the rose.
To increase, by appropriate hints, the re-
spectability of this numerous class, is a de-
sign, therefore, which immediately, or remote-
ly, afifects so large a proportion of the cora-
muuily, that it might discourage the attempt
of an humble individual. But if to promote
domestick virtue, and preserve the happiness
of the fire side, is an effectual, as well as a
simple means of increasing n-itional prosperi-
ty ; how many are there, who have hitherto
deemed themselves incompetent, whose
efforts might thus contribute to the publick
weal !
If this were not the case, and if effects the
most beneficial were not often produced by
very humble means, the present attempt had
never been made by
THE AUTHOR.
PRACTICAL HINTS, &-c.
N^ I.
INTROnUCTIOlV.
X HERE was a time when females of rank
auil affluence were not thought dfgrailed «*y
dressing the failed calf, and baking cakes
upon the hearth ; when, with their pitcher
on their shoulder, tht y went to the well to
draw water for their flocks; and when even
royalty knew how to appreciate the virtues
of her, who sought wool and flax, and wrought
willingly with her hands ; who laid her hands
to the spindle and to the distalf ; who made
1
2 INTRODUCTION.
fine linen and sold it, and delivered girdles
to the merchant; who looked well to the
wavs ot her household, and ate not the hread
of idleness. But time has wrought a change
in the circumstances and hahits of females of
the present .age, though there are many of
all ranks who are not less usefully employed
than were the matrons of ancient times ;
many, to whom it may he said, 'Give them
of the fruit of their doings, and let their own
works praise them in the gate.' Happy
the female in whom education has united
with natural talent, to form so important a
character as that of the viistress of a family ;
and unhappy she, who, possessing neither of
these advantages, has the temerity to under-
take a task to which she is altogether'incom-
petent. Notwithstanding that old nivcs, or
yonnsc wives, may furnish the^ willing with
themes for ridicule, a closer ol)servatioQ
would convince him, tlMt the mistress and
mother of a family occupies one of the most
INTRODUCTION. 3
important stations in the community ; of
which he would be feelingly convinced, were
so large a portion of it to suspend its services
for ever so short a period.
We are, however, obliged to acknowledge,
that the deficiencies of many have afforded
but too just occasion for the sarcasms to
which we allude. Nothing less than a more
judicious education can remedy this vital
evil ; an evil which pervades all classes In
some degree, but which is peculiarly inju'
rious to those of the middle ranks. Many a
female, because she has been educated at a
boarding-school, returns home, not to assist
her mother, but to support her pretens'ons
to genii! ity by idleness, dress, and dissioa-
tion. She conceives herself degraded by
domestick occujialiun, and expects to lose
her credit if she is known to he industrious;
wMile the fond parents too frequently aid
the delusion, and in due time fransfer her to
a husband, to curse him with a fortune of a
1*
4 INTRODUCTION.
few himdreds ; a sum which she supposes
inexhaustible ; accordingly she takes care to
remind him, on every occasion, of the hand-
some fortune she brought him, as well as of
the gentility of her boarding-school educa-
tion. With what pity do we anticipate the
sequel; and how many, who might have
been formed to inestimable characters, have
been thus rendered worse than useless to
society ! To afford a hint to such, as well as
to those, who, from various other causes, may
be incompetent to the duties of this impor-
tant station, is the object of the following
pages : and it is hoped that some of the ob-
servations introduced may he found suitable
to their circumstances, and deserving their
attention.
Many, when they enter the married life,
assume a consequence to which their charac-
ters by no means entitle them. To be a
wife, and to be a good wife, which is from the
Lord, are two very distinct things : and if
INTRODUCTIOIff. 5
you, my dear reader, have no just claims to
the latter title, that of the former will soon
dwindle into insignificance. The situation
in which you are placed is of vast, of vital
importance; support the dignity of it by
your conduct, and add not to the number by
which it is brought into disrepute and con-
tempt.— The mothers of those who have
decided the fate of empires were once young
wives, such as you are ; and, perhaps, the
happiness or misery of thousands then ud-
boru originated in their conduct. But, should
the influence of your posterity never extend
beyc»nd the limits of private life, the eflects
of your conduct will yet be sufficiently im-
portant to warrant an earnest expostulation.
Indeed your own respectability and happi-
ness so immediately depend upon those of
your family, that in neglecting the latter, the
former are unavoidably undermined. — Some
there are who contrive to plod through life,
without any failings prominent euougb to
6 INTRODUCTION.
incur (he censure of their acquaintance, and
pass in the crowd for miehty good sort of
women : thouo;h it does not invariably hap-
pen that their families possess even these
negative advantages : such have probably
sunk into insipidity of character, from want
of a timely stimulus and proper direction ;
and talents, which either lie dormant, or are
wasted in trivial pursuits, might have been
rendered, by early assistance, extensively
useful. Many others, who, from their con-
duct in life, but too justly incur the censures
of society, might equally with these have
merited its applause, had some friendly hand
been stretched out at the commencement of
their journey, to guide them in the ditficult
and dubious way. To ensure so happy a
result, let it be your ambition, my dear rea-
der, to form a sterling character; and, while
you contemplate women who command your
esteem, endeavour to become estimable your-
self: while others} act desultorily, without
INTRODUCTION. i
design, and from mere impulse, do you pro-
ceed on principle; or, while their aim is
fashion, let yours be steadiness.
There are two extremes into which young
people are apt to fall, perhaps equally inimi-
cal to respectability of conduct : the one is
confidence, the other timidity. The former,
without doubt, is the most decided enemy
to improvement ; it renders the character
ridiculous, and deprives it of a thousand
advantages, by which the humble and teacha-
ble are benefited : but, where the latter pre-
dominates, the result is nearl}' the same;
want of courage is mistaken for inability ;
and, from fear of making an effort, no effort
is made.
Where, however, as in the raajoritj'^ of
instances, there is no material deficiency in
the intellectual powers, much may be effect-
ed by well timed advice, encouragement, or
admonition ; and those whose age and expe-
rience qualify them for the service, ought
8 INTRODUCTION.
conscientiously to avail themselves of pro-
per occasions upon which to render it. —
Some years ago, a lady, who went with a
party to the British Museum, expressed con-
tempt and dissatisfaction at every thing she
saw; protested it was loss of time to con-
tinue, and urged the company to hasten
their departure. At length they politely
thanked the gentleman in attendance, and
were about to withdraw, when he detained
them by the following address to their fasti-
dious companion : — * When 1 first saw you,
madam, I was struck with your beauty and
interesting appearance ; but you soon gave
me occasion to alter my opinion : 1 pily the
man that marries you, if any one ever will ;
certainly 1 would not ; and I fear for you,
unless some alteration takes place in your
taste, manners, and habits. — Madam, 1 wish
you a good morning.' Many years after,
the same gentleman waited upon another
company at the Museum : when they took
^INTRODUCTION. 9
their leave, and thanked him for his polite
attentions, a lady stepped forward, and ex-
pressed her gratitude in a manner more
lively than the occasion seemed to require.
The gentleman, rather surprised, professed
himself happy in having contributed to her
amusement. ' Sir,' said she, ' my obliga-
tions to you far exceed those which you
have conferred this morning.' She then re-
called to his memory the above circum-
stance ; and added, ' I am that lady ; and
to you I am indebted, next to this gentle-
man, who is my husband, for the happiest
influence on my life and character; arising
from the very pointed, but salutary, reproof
which you then administered.'
It is no wonder if the traveller, who is
unacquainted with the road, should sometimes
turn wrong, or be so entangled in intricate
windings as to be unable to retrace his steps ;
nor is it too great a stretch of candour to
believe, that many of the actions, which
10 INTRODUCTION.
afford copious matter for the tongue of ca-
lumny, or just ground for re|)roof, are the
result, not so much of ill-intention, as of in-
consideration or mistake. But mistakes,
which may involve families in ruin, or ren-
der them miserable, it becomes of the utmost
importance to rectify ; especially if we take
into the account the influence which they
have ultimately on the general weal. One
of the most prominent, and fatal in its con-
sequences, is the propensity to assume, by
external a{»pearance, a rank in society to
which the finances are inadequate. This,
indeed, is a conduct which rarely succeeds ;
for, till one rank can assume the manners
and habits "of those above them, it is in
vain that they ape their dress and equipage ;
they will generally remain stationary in the
eyes of all who know them, and even of all
who do not ; as the servant girl, who, taking
the pattern of her mistress's cap, remains a
servant girl still, and exposes herself to ridi-
INTRODUCTION. 11
cule for her presumj)tion. As nothing is
more common than this destructive ambi-
tion, tiiough so little is really gained by it,
some of the subsequent pages shall be devot-
ed to the consideration of this, and the oppo-
site line of conduct : but previously we shall
treat of more important matters.
12
?}«• II.
CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND.
The first object that should claim your
attention, is that being with whom you have
united your fortunes. When he vowed to
take you for better for worse, he staked the
happiness of his future life ; a treasure for
which the most ample portion is insufficient
to compensate. On your part, you promised
to love as well as to honour and obey ; and
probably from the all-perfect being to whom
you then surrendered yourself, you expected
to derive such uninterrupted felicity as would
render the fulfilment of this promise constant-
ly easy and delightful. But, however dis-
creet your choice has been, time and circum-
stances alone can sufficiently develope your
husband's character : by degrees the disco-
very will be made that you have married a
CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND. 13
mortal, and that the object of your affections
is not entirely free from the infirmities of
human nature. Then it is, that by an im-
partial survey of your own character, your
disappointment may be moderated ; and your
love, so far from declining, may acquire ad-
ditional tenderness, from the consciousness
that there is room for mutual fori)earance.
Should your husband's temper be of the
placid and gentle kind, endeavour to perpe-
tuate it, even though your own may not na-
turally be of that description, and you will
have a powerful incentive to imitation, in
observing the benign effects of such disposi-
tions on yourself and others : especially re-
collect, that nothing is more contagious than
a bad temi)er, and that a disordered mind, as
well as a diseased body, may spread infection
over a whole house. — Should he be morose,
fretful, or capricious, liable to sudden sallies,
or the prey of constant irritability, the cure
cannot be effected by opposing similar qua-
14 CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND.
lities ; by these the evil would be increased
and perpetuated : but their contraries, sweet-
ness, the coolness of a reasonable mind, and
that kindness which anticipates the causes
of irritation, or allays and soothes it when
it is excited, even if they failed to produce
the change in his feelings that might be
expected, would at least have the most salu-
tary influence upon your own, and bring
a revenue of peace to the mind under all its
trials. — There is one simple direction, which,
if carefully regarded, might long preserve
the, tranquillity of the married life, and in-
sure no inconsiderable portion of coonuhial
happiness : it is, to beware of the first dis-
pute.
As the head of a family, you mrjst expect
to meet with provocation, and to (ind your
patience conlirjually called to the proof; but
you are utterly unfit to command others, if
yon cannot command yourself; and that is a
lesson which ought to have been previously
CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND. 15
learned, for it will be difficult to acquire it
when pressed by business and surrounded
by vexations, which demand its immediate
and perfect exercise. Destitute of a qualifi-
cation so important, you cannot acquit your-
self well; and possessing it, you will proba-
bly rule even over your husband with a
sway which he will not be inclined to dis-
pute, and of which you need not yourself be
ashamed. There cannot, indeed, be a sig;ht
more uncouth, than that of a man and his
wife struggling for power; for where it ought
to be vested, nature, reasop, and scripture,
concur to declare : but the influence acquir-
ed by amiable conduct and s*"lf-oommand
does not fall under this censure. She
whose firedominant passion is the love of
sway, has cerfaitil}' mistaken her object
when she exercises it upon her husband.
How preposterous is it to hear a woman
say, ' It shall be done !' — ' I ivill have it so !'
and often extending her authority not only
16 CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND.
beyond her jurisdiction, but in niatters where
he alone is competent to act, or even to
judge. A man of common understanding,
though he may derive benefit from his wife's
advice, certainly ought not to be governed
by her: and as the fool sailh to every one
* I am a fool,' it is presumed that whoever
has the misfortune to be united to such a
one, might have previously made the disco-
very, and can only have herself to blame.
Bui the woman who can tyrannize over her
husband, will generally betray the same dis-
position towards her children, her servants,
and her acquaintance. By all of these she
may contrive to be feared; and as it is pro-
bable tiial to be loved is no part of her am-
bition, she escapes the mortification of disap-
pointment : but, my young friend, I would
hope better things of you, and that to deserve
and ensure the aflVctions of your family is
the virtuous satisfaction at which you conti-
nually aim.
CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND. If
In order to cherish these kindly feelings,
accustom yourself, in the contemplation of
your husband's character, to dwell on the
bright side ; let his virtues occupy your
thoughts more than his failings : this will
impel yo:i to honour him in the jiresence of
others, and jnrjy eventually produce the hap-
piest effects on his character; for most [iro-
bahly he will feel the value of that estima-
tion in which you hold him, and be solici-
tous to ()reserve it. — Do not expose his fall-
ings; no, not to your most cotifidential friend*
^If, unhappily, they are of the more flagrant
kind, he divulges them himself; but if, on
the contrary, they are merely such as prove
him to he a fallible creature. leave your
friends to infer it for themselves, rather than
furnish them with proofs of it from your com-
plaints. Your own fMilings (should you have
any) you would studiously conceal ; and pro-
batily you think it the duty of your husband
;i conceal them too: but the golden rule of
18 CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND.
doing to others as you would they should do
unto you, does not apply, in this case, with
sufficient force ; because it is your very self,
your better self, who would suffer by such an
exposure ; his honour and yours are insepara-
bly one.
It has been observed, that you have unit-
ed your fortunes: how absurd then would it
be to urge your husband to expenses beyond
his income ! how thoughtless, to forget that
you must stand or fall together! — There
are many, who, instead of restraining those
generous spirits that would make cosily -
sacrifices to love, have adopted the ruinous
system of getting all they can ; not consider-
ing that they are but taking out of one
pocket to put into another, or foreseeing the
consequence, in having both pockets emjity.
But young women, who have been profusely
supplied with money by their parents, are
often not snfficientl}' aware of its value:
those who, while single, have been accus-
CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND. 19
fomed only to a?k and have, to have and
spend, will rarely make careful or economi-
cal wives ; and hence appears the utility of
parents allowing; their drtughtersa stipulated,
but moderate sum, for their dress and other
expenses at an early a^e : this will inure
them to hahits of economy, and restrain
them from heina; lavish in domestick expen-
diture. Hence too the benefit of admitting
them to family confidence, and making them
acquainted with the general state of affairs.
In most cases, they will thus discover that
their income, however abundant, is not quite
inexhaustible, and that there may be such a
thins as living beyond it. Of this simple
truth it is especially important that a wife
should be convinced, though to the minds of
some it seems never to have occurred.
There are few husbands so a*ir(>it in the
management of their incomes as 'o t)e entire-
ly able to defeuii them from dissipation,
where ignorance or extravagance are the
2*
20 CONDUCT TO THE HUSBAND.
characteristicks of the wife. Vain are his
labours to accumulate, if she cannot, or will
not, expend with discrelion. Vain too are
his expectations of happiness, if economy,
order, and regularity, are not to be found at
home: and the woman ^^ ho has not feeling
anti principle sutficient to regulate her con-
duct in these concerns, will rarely acquit
herself respeclal>ly in the more elevated
(larts of female duty. We shall therefore
request permission to introduce a subject
which, though less sentimental than some
we have already noticed, has often an equal
influence on the happiness of the married
life.
21
N^- TIT.
DOMESTICK ECONOMY.
The minute <Ietails into which we are
about Jo enter, in this chapter, may seem
beneath (he dijinity of instructitm : but if
* general principles ar*' thereby better under-
stood, they will not require apology. Even
an astronomer, reasof»iiiQj upon the planetary
system, resorts to a diagram of a few simple
lines, an<l explains clearly the most sut lime
or intricate doctriries by this means. Wtth-
out further jireiiice then, we shall place at
the hta<l of the present siitject. a sirn[;le
caleulatson, wliich forms a sage, but neglect-
ed maxim, ' A pniny a day is thirty shillings
a year.''
Were this habitually kept in view, how
many superfluous expenses would I e curtail-
ed ! It would raise the ci»aracter of that
22 DOMESTICK ECONOMY.
degraded thing apenni/, to its proper value;
pence would accumulate till they became
pounds; and, like a well disciplined troop
surrounding our possessions, would prevent
insidious depredations, and often keep pover-
ty at bay. It is to be feared, that few of
those who frequently say. ' It is but a penny,'
will become possessed of pounds by their
own prudence and management. Yet a
penny a day does not suffice such persons
as these to disregard and to squander; the
same disposition pervades their whole con-
duct, and is a constant drain upon their
pecuniary resources : probably every article
with which they are concerned will pay its
tribute to the idol of extravagance ; and the
amount of such a daily tax it is fearful to
calculate. That this calculation may not
eventually be made by the cre<iitor, an
account book is earnestly recommended ;
printed ones may be had with columns for
every article, and for every day in the year ;
DOMESTICK ECONOMY. 23
and to those who are so frequently \von<Ier-
ing which way their money goes, this would
have the effect of demonstration ; it would
do away all that was mysterious in the busi-
ness, and convince them that they have
neither had holes in their pockets, nor been
robbed. Many persons satisfy themselves
with keepins an account of the larger sums
they expend ; but these can generally be
recollected; while the shillings and sixpences
pass away in great numbers, and almost im-
perce[)tibly, because deemed too trifling for
notice. A strict account of these would at
a glance convince of their importance. It
would exhibit, at one view, the enormous
amount of money expended in gloves, ri-
bands, and other articles of haberdashery, in
which some young women are thoughtlessly
profuse; and it might prove a more effectual
antidote to the passion for great bargains,
than any that could be written upon the
subject. It is certain, that though the afflu-
24 DOMESTICK ECONOMY.
ent may occasionally indulge themselves in
purchasing articles lliey do not want, or
perhaps never may, those who are not afflu-
ent should by no means allow such a propen-
sity ; lest while a great bargain is lying by
useless, they should actually be in want of a
common necessary. Some years ago, a
female, who had by imprudence reduced
herself to her las! ninepence, was prevailed
upon, by its cheapness^ to purchase a pretty
box for the reception of threads and tapes !
Alas ! it was iloubtful whether she would
ever more be mistress of either ta|)es or
threads !
If that money which is spent by the young
and inconsiderate, in a des!ihory or super-
fluous manner, were liept in reserve to sup-
ply the |»lace of each useful article, as il is
laid aside ; it would l)e very a<lvantiigeous
to those whose finances render it difficult to
jticike large purchiises. To such it is of
great importance lo keep up the original
DOMESTICK ECONOMY. 25
slock ; and if they were, at stfited times, to
put hy a certain sura, however small, they
would have a little fund constantly rising,
and be exempted from those anxieties which
many, for want of better management endure.
Should this plan be thought eligible, let
servants' wages especially be includetl; and
if the day upon which they became tlue
were previously marked in the account-
book, it would ensure their punctual payment,
and the wnges of the hireling would not be
kept back, either by lack of m^"ans or treache-
ry of memory. A jioor girl, who go« s to
service with a scanty wardrobe, has often
to endure inconveniences, or incur debts,
through the negligence of her employers,
which a little attention on their part, to her
necessities and feelings, would easily prevent.
Much loss is sustained by purchasing arti-
cles of housekeeping in smill quantities;
not only as to their original cost. •'Uf in their
consumption, as many of them are benefited
26 DOMESTICK ECONOMY.
by keeping : nor can regular weekly pay-
ments he too forcibly recommended. It is
frequently impossible to ascertain whether a
bill of even a month's standing is quite cor-
rect ; and many who are tempted to let them
run still longer, increase with the delay the
probability of not paying them at all : th(»se
who are honestly determined that they shall
be paid, would find it more prudent and less
difficult to discharge them weekly, and there-
by at once defend their own property, and
ensure that of their tradesmen. — A house-
keeper who had a«lopted the injudicious jitac-
tire of paying but once a year, having equal-
ly i\\\it\e\\ his custom between two bakers,
found that one of them had charged him for
a quantity of brea^l just twice as much as he
had had from the other ! Tradesmen are
not all dishonest, but all are liable to mis-
lakes, many of which in a long account can-
not be rectified.
A discreet housekeeper will distinguish
between necessary and unnecessary expen-
DOMESTICK ECONOMV. 2T
ses : as no one can work wilh<)u( tods, every
house ought to be furnished wilh appropriate
utensils, or there will be great codfusion
and inconvenience in domestiek business.
A deficiency of this kind is sometimes sup-
plied by borrowing of neighbours, and leav-
ing them no alternative between the injury
of their goods by contitiuHl use or removal,
and a negative which they would feel it
painful to give. It is aslonishina; to what
inconveniences some people subject them-
selves and their unfortunate neighbours for
years, to save the expense of a few shillings,
jierhaps a few pence; forgetting that while
they are sending to next door,, or across the
way, tbey mny lose more time than the bor-
rowed article is worth. Yet the contrary
extreme should be avoided, and whim not
mistaken for necessity : many ijiandy things
may be dispensed with, and the money they
would cost, which, if properly employed,
is the handiest thing of all, devoted to more
useful purposes.
28 DOMESTICK ECONOMY.
But if small inadvertent expenses may
become serious in the agg:regate, what must
be the result of a style of dress and appear-
ance throughout, to which the circumstances
are unequal I Many persons are so adroit in
purchasing;, in rutfing; and contriving, that
they can obtain articles at a much cheaper
rate than others : but perhaps when re(!uced
by those melius to their lowf^st cost, the
amount not only exceeds what ought to be
afforded, but Ihe article so obtained ii! ac-
cords with the rank in life, or coutined in-
come, of the purchaser, and only exposes
her to ridicule or censure. Thogp who ob-
tain for four pounds that which is worth five,
are neither to be praised nor envied, if two
were as much as they ought to have Sj ent.
— A smart young cuu|)le were once passing
the door of a tradesman to wliom ihey owed
a small sum of rather too long standing,
when the creditor was beard io exclaim,
' See how tine ihey are ! ihey bad better pay
DOMESTICK ECONOMY. 29
%
their debts.' Now it happened that th^ir
finery had cost them nothing;, for it was fur-
nished by their kind but ill-judyiing friends ;
this, however, the tradesman could not know,
nor do lookers on in general either know or
care, how finery is obtained; but Ihey do
know whether situation and appearance cor-
resjKmd, and they make their animadver-
sions accordingly'.
Next to the knowledge of what to gety is
the necessary study of how to keep. It is
astonishing at what a small expense some
persons will maintain a genteel appearance :
and here I hope I shall not be ihouulit too
minute, if I allude to the care which is re-
quisite to apparel o^* as well as on ; permit
me to say, that articles neatly dustetl, brush-
ed, folded, and laid in a place of safety, will
retain their beauty lor a length of time, of
which those who never m:\i\ii the experiment
would be incredulous. It is also to be v\i jib-
ed, that mothers, iu those ranks where income
30 DOMESTICK ECONOMY.
is usually small, would initiate their daugh-
ters well in the art of repairing; it is an in-
dispensable part of female economy, and its
humble tropiiies would be in reality more
iionourable, as well as more useful, than the
finest piece of embroidery ever sent in from
a boarding; school r much comfort, in families
that are not affluent especially, depends
upon the ' stitch in time.'
That house only is well conducted, where
thire is a strict attention paid to order and
rey:ularity. To do every thing in its proper
time, to keep every thing in its right place,
and to use every thing for its proper use, is
the very essence of good management, and
is well expressed in one of the Lancasterian
establishments, ' the rule of this school is
to have a place for every thing, and every
thipo; in its place.' While 8f»me think ihey
have no time to put things awriy, others hs-
sert that they have no time to misifl ice
them j no half hours to spare io searching for
DOMESTICK ECONOMY. 31
lost goods. The time of every individual
ought to be precious; with the mistress of a
family it is peculiar! j so; and a proper ad-
justment of this cannot be too forcibly incul-
cated. Meals should always be ready at the
stated time; and servants, if possible, oblig-
eti to be punctual : but to etfect this, and
prevent confusion, they must receive clear
an<i early orders. Early rising, where the
health will permit, produces more advan-
tages than the mere lengthening of the day.
An honest labouring man said once, very
significantly, to a gentlemen in whose neigh-
bourhood he livedo ' I observe, sir, you are
up very early of a morning: I believe, if all
housekeepers would do the same, they would
find their account in it at the years end.'
This has often been fouifd to lie true. Where
servants are ill disposed, and their employers
are known to be snfe in their chaml)ers (ill a
late ht»ur, depredations to no inconsiderable
amount may easily be carried on.
.»
32 DOMESTICK ECONOMY.
There are some who complain that the
day 18 too long; others, that it is too short;
for the toriner there is no excuse : and many
of ihe latter would find it difficult to produce
one, were they told of the desultory rnnnner
in which they pass their lime. Those who
will sit an hour idle over ilie fire at dusk
light, to save an inch of candle, must not
complain of being busy: it is probable that
if others were to value their time no more
than they appear to do themselves, they
•would resent the apparent injustite.
The hints that have here been given, are
mere hints, and form a small proportion of
those which the subject of dotnestick econo-
my suggests : but some may lliink them al-
ready too minute, and others may even ob-
ject to the principles upon which they are
founded : if, however, they would take the
trouble to look around I hem in the world,
instances would not be wanting to sanction
and enforce both the principles and the par-
DOMESTICK ECONOMr. 33
ticulars. For the accoraraodation of some rea.
ders, one shall be selected from a number
known to the author.
A gay young person of nineteen, who had
married a respectable tradesman soon after
she left a boarding school, had a young friend
in similar circumstances, who was lamenting
their mutual ignorance, and expressing her
fears lest they should be unable, little as
they knew of doraestick management, to
acquit themselves well in their new situa-
tions. ' Dear me !' was the reply, ' 1 do not
trouble my head about that ; the maids will
do those things.' This, with the disordered
state of her wardrobe, and many symj)toms
of a similar nature, excited in her friend,
who had rather more thought, no very san-
guine hopes of her success. It is almost
superfluous to record the sequel : her husband
was a bankrupt in two years ! So well had
the m.atds managed for her !
34 DOMESTICK ECONOMT.
There are honourable examples of an
opposite class ; but they are too rare ; and
should any of my readers be disposed to imi-
tate them, they must pay the price, and dare
to he singular ; for if among their own ac-
quaintance they lack a precedent, they must
venture to make one. Shoukl they wish to
maintain their rank in society, it will be
better preserved by having it said, that the}^
have more than they spend ; than, that they
spend more than they ought. It is true
that he who will be rich at any rate pierceth
himself through with many sorrows; but
' give me neither poverty nor riches,' is a
petition not unbecoming a Christian. A
decent comjietence, as it exempts from prey-
ing anxiety, and from the temptation to
mean contrivances and low subterfuges, en-
nobles the character; and, by expanding
the heart, promotes feelings of benevolence,
and cherishes a variety of Christian virtues ;
which are blighted, and sometimes totally
. destroyed, by pecuniary difficulties.
DOMESTICK ECONOMY. 35
Persons who live up to their income are
totally unprepared for sudden contingencies :
having neglected common forelhought, they
are little likely to extricate themselves from
embarrassments, in Mhich they may unex-
pectedly be involved; and are not unfre-
quently brought, therefore, into circumstan-
ces the most insupportable to a well-consti-
tuted mind ; they become dependent upon,
and burdensome to, others.
My young friend, if you have children,
how anxious are you that every want shall
be supplied ! Perhaps you are one of those
who indulge all their caprices, and can deny
them nothing. You would be shocked to
be com[)ared with the brute species, who,
after all their indulgence, at length turn their
young adrift, nor cherish them more : yet
your conduct bears too near a resemblance
to theirs, if, from thoughtlessness or extrava-
gance, you make no provision for them
against they attain your age, and are in
3*
36 DOMESTICK ECONOMT.
your circumstances. If you know the value
of only a few hundred pounds by the want
of (hem, one would think it would naturally
sug£;est to you the propriety of making some
provision for your childre^, however smfill
it may be ; and remember, that the fact of
' a penny a day being thirty shillings a year,'
if kept in view, and applied prudently (not
Covetously) to your domestick economy, will
go a great way, in the course ot lime,
towards freeing them from many of the
anxieties, which at this moment you may
be enduring. ' He that provideth not for
his own house, is worse than an infidel.'
But, whether you have children or not,
the period of old age will arrive to your-
selves. Some persons toil all their lives*
and refuse the enjoyments \^hich can only
be relished when life is in its prime, that
they may be rich when the power of enjoy-
ment is over. To such, these pages are not
addressed : but surely it is desirable, after
DOMESTICK ECONOMY. 37
the heat and burden of the day are over, to
enjoy a degree of rest and Iranquillity, which
uarrovv or embarrassed circumstances will
not admit. How many at this period are
deprived, by their earjj' imprudeneies, of
comforts to which they had long been accus-
tomed ! How many too, from the s:ime
cause, are compelled to turn a deaf ear to the
necessities of others, and thereby to forego
one of the highest gratifications of wliich
human nature is susceptible !
If reason should assent to any of these
remarks, it will be wise to form correspond-
ing resolutions, and to act upon them with
promptitude ; for it is an awkward thing to
make great changes and adopt new habits,
after years of errour and misconduct ; though
it is better to improve late than never. Af-
fliction is the common lot of humanity ; but
there is much that might be averted, and life
rendered not so dreary a season as some re-
present it, if right views, and a right direc-
38 DOMESTICK ECONOMY.
tion, were taken at its commencement. It
is an imj3ortant truth, and one that should
be continually borne in mind, that a large
proportion of the evils which overtake us, is
fairly attributable to the spirit of procrastina-
tion. We could scarcely believe, did we
not witness it every day, that a traveller
would knowingly take the wrong road, for
no other reason, perhaps, than because a few
gaudy flowers grow on the way-side ; and
often for no assignable reason whatever still
proceed, though always intending to turn
back at some time or other. We could
scarcely believe, that what ought to be
done to-day should ever be carelessly post-
poned till to morrow, since to-morrow is
laden with duties of its own : trifles thus
accumulated, produce at length serious diffi-
culties and embarrassments, from which the
procrastiuator, of all people, is the least
qualified to extricate himself. If the in-
cessant confusion in which such persons in-
DOMESTICK ECONOMY. 39
volve themselves and others, has become so
habitual that they scarcely perceive the
cause of the evil, let them discern their own
character drawn to the life, and possibly
something like their own fate predicted, in
an admirable tale, entitled ' To-morrorv^^ by
Miss Edgeworth : it can scarcely fail to
produce conviction; and the next step to
this is, or ought to be, amendment.
40
]N° IV.
SERVANTS.
That servants have a considerable influ-
ence on the happiness of families, few, who
have been long accustomed to the superin-
tendance of them, will dispute. It is pain-
ful to hear the incessant complaints to which
this subject gives rise, as they are strong
indications of the continued depravity of
the lower orders, notwithstanding the bene-
volent exertions of the last thirty years to
banish ignorance, and vice as its offspring.
This, indeed, no longer excites surprise,
when it is considered how much the whole-
some lessons dispensed at scho»>l, are counler-
acied at home. That such is the faci, ihose
who fire in the habit of visiting the cottages
of the poor do not require to be informed ;
they meet, it is true, with some pleasing
SERVANTS. 41
exceptions, but at present they are excep-
tions. We do not tind upon every heath, or
in every cottage, such characters as the
Shepherd of Salishury Plain, nor in the daugh-
ters of every dairvman a Dairyman's Daugh-
ier. Parents who from ignorance are immo-
ral, who have been unused either to observe
or reflect, and whose habits are uncouth and
vulgar, cannot be expected to render their
children moral, observant, and considerate,
or neat and skilTuI ; nor ought the society to
•which most servants have been exposed, to
be forgotten : a well inclined girl is frequent-
ly ruined by her neighbours, or the compa-
nions of her servitude, who are much less
likely, in general, to im[)rove than to injure
her. What wonder then, if, when we admit
into our houses the children or associates of
such, we find them without principle and
without conduct, and apparently incapable
of using either their eyes, their ears, or un-
derstandings I Why should we expect to
42 SERVANTS.
gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles ?
To those who have passed their childhood
in want and wretchedness, the sudden change
which they experience when they enter
service and are introduced to a plenlifnl sup-
ply, is another unfavourable circumstance ;
and is not likely to make the thoughtless
either frugal or prudent : to plenty, they
annex the idea of riches, and sup[»ose that
any, and every thing, can be afforded. A
master can hardly appear to them oiher than
a being of a different species, with whom
they are totally unqualified to sympathize,
and in whose welfare they can scarcely be
expected to take much interest.
If therefore, from various causes, ooo^f ser-
vants are scarce, those who have large fami-
lies, and cannot conveniently keep more
than one, must not be disappointed if such
do not fall to their share. A good servant
can always find a good situation, among
those who are both able to appreciate her
SERVANTS. 43
worth, and willing to reward it : of course it
is not likely that she will take an inferiour
place ; nor ought those who have adopted
the mistaken economy of giving low wages,
to expect much better success. While some
assert that they cannot afiford to give high
wages, others shrewdly maintain that they
cannot afford to give low. Persons who
save three or four pounds a year in this way,
forget that nothing is gained in board, and
generally much more than an equivalent lost
by carelessness and want of skill.
It cannot be doubted, that much of the
evil of which mistresses complain, would be
remedied, if they would invariably adhere to
giving just and faithful characters. Every
servant should be told, when hired, that the
whole of her conduct will be communicated
to her next mistress : it is a false and ill-
judging lenity that dictates an opposite con-
duct, and is eventually injurious to both
parties. Every one would wish to receive
44 SERVANTS.
a faithful character when she applies for it
herself, and should therefore be conscieo-
tious in giving it, nor conceal even Utile
faults, of \vhich there would be fewer if this
conduct were more generally adopted. An
author, who in a recent publication asserts,
that ' when you admit a servant into your
house, you admit an enemy,' perhaps ap-
proached too near the truth; yet he might
have expressed himself with less severity,
bad he taken all the circumstances of the
case into consideration : at any rate, those
who would not wish to have their assent to
his opinion extorted by their own expe-
rience, will be exceedingly cautious with
regard to the characters which they either
take or 2;ive. '
If Housekeepers, where it is possible, would
put that work out which cannot be perform-
ed at home without extra help, they would
find their account in it. Many a worthy girl
has been corrupted, and eveuluaUy ruined^
SERVANTS. 45
by those [feople who have access to families
as charwomeu, &c. — they are too frequent-
ly depredators in the houses Nvhich they fre-
quent ; and it is well if in time they do
not prevail upon the servant to assist in
their nefarious practices : where they do
nothing worse, it is too frequently their cus-
tom to prejudice servants against their places;
and from these and similar objections, many
judicious and experienced persons will bn no
account suffer them to enter tiieir houses.
But, notwithstanding all our endeavours
to obtain and to keep good servants, we
shall generally tiiid much devolve u|)on our-
selves : and those certainly should not com-
plain of the remissness of their domeslicks,
who are Uiemselves deficient in the art of
management. A little activity on the part
of a mistress, especially where hut one ser-
vant is kept, will give an agreeable finish to
the appearance of a house, and prevent
many a reprimand for inattention to the
46 SERVANTS.
minutise ; from which those, at least, who
have a redundancy of work, ought to be
exenipted.
In every kitchen there should be a library,
for which a judicious selection of books will
be requisite, and nothing beyond the com-
preiiension of kitchen readers admitted : but
none in the present day need be at a loss for
appropriate works, when, beside other things,
so many excellent tracts may be procured
for the instruction of the poor. Perhaps
Mrs. More's Cheap Repository would stand
pre-eminent in such a collection ; as the les-
sons there given, and the examples exhibit-
ed, judiciously blend amusement with in-
struction. And here let me drop a hint
respecting the choice of such publications :
many well meaning and zealous Christians
really counteract the good they intend to do,
by refusing to distribute those which are of
a lively and entertaining nature, forgetting
that the readers they wish to serve, require
SERVANTS. 47
to be enticed to peruse, that they take the
alarm at an introduction too serious, and
rarely then go on to the end. Such persons
have been known to throw away tracts put
into their hands, merely from a sight of their
solemn and injutlicious titles. Our Saviour
pursued a ditlerent course, frequently intro-
ducing parables of a very entertaining kind:
and were these zealous disciples to study
human nature in general, and especially the
heart in its unconverted state, they might
perceive the utility of those innocent baits,
which more judicious Christians may set to
catch souls. They appear not sufficiently to
distinguish between their own sensations,
which revolt at every thing that Is not ex-
pressly serious, and the sensations of those
who revolt still more against all that is.
But to return from this digression, let
those who are possessed of such a treasure
as a good servant, i\u\y estimate their privi-
lege, and be neither too rigid in their require-
48 SERVANTS.
tnents, nor too sparing in their rewards. It
is poor encouragement to a servant, if she
is invariably blarned for what is wrong, and
never praised for what is right; and some
respect should be paid to the feelings of
human nature, which will not endure conti-
nual chiding, however deserving of it : both
praises and rewards should be suitably dis-
pensed ; and if, when there is occasion to
complain, appeals to reason were more fre-
quent than they generally are, such reproof
might have a gradual tendency to improve
the character. The old domestick attached
to a family, whose best days have been
spent in faithful services, is a lovely charac-
ter, and entitled to every indulgence : and
when an honest and tractable disposition is
observed in the young, self-interest alone
would dictate an endeavour to rear a servant
of this description, liy care and kindness,
by mingling patience and forbearance with
instruction or reproof. It is scarcely neces-
SERVANTS. 49
sary to add, that a good example must be
set by the mistress, in order to give effect to
her injunctions ; for if her own character is
turbulent and disorderly, she has little rea-
son to anticipate regularity and comfort from
her domesticks.
An additional hint to those youd2: mislres-
ses who have not the knowledge requisite
for their situation, but who, conscious of
their deficiency, wish to acquire it, shall
close this subject. A young and ignorant
mistress will rarely have a servant from
whom she may not gain, hj unobserved atten-
tion^ some useful hints : from her last place
something is generally brought that will
turn to account; and there are those who
have obtained much of their domestick know-
ledge from this source ; it is tedious and pre-
carious, but if necessary information can be
obtained, those who are destitute of it shauid
not be too |)roud,or too indolent, to avail them-
selves of every opportunity for acquiring it-.
4
50
N^ V.
EDUCATION.
In proportion as parents are sensible of
the importance and difficulty of the work of
education, will they be attentive to any otfer
of assistance, and solicitous to qualify their
children for discharging similar duties, when
it shall come to Iheir turn to discipline and
instruct. All admit that childhood is the
time for instruction ; but the term discipline
sounds harsh in the ears of many a tender
mother, because she has attached to it the
idea of severity. No wonder, then, if even
in this, the most imi)ortant of all mortal con-
cerns, she is tempted to procrastinate ; no
wonder if her resolution fails, when con-
templating the lovely cherub with a mother's
fondness; yet she would do well to consider,
during those tender moments, that there
may be other cherubs quite as interesting to
EDUCATION. 51
their parents, who may hereafter endure the
acutest sufferings, from their connexion with
the darling whose passions she has not suffi-
cient fortitude to control; the darling, who
must grow a little older, and, of course, a lit-
tle more ungovernable, before the dreadful
secret is revealed to it, that all it sees, and
all it wishes for, is not its own !
It is a mistake, fraught with the most dis-
astrous consequences, to individuals, to fami-
lies, and eventually to communities, that an
infant is too young to be rebuked : not long
after it can distinguish the parent, and know
that from her it derives its nourishment, it
may be made sensible of her displeasure,
when evidently crying from passion • but how
inimical to its peace and happiness are the
absiird and mistaken notions respecting its
crying which are generally entertained ! —
Peo()le actually perpetuate what they wish
to prevent, by complying thus with every
caprice. The child who has learned that
4*
52 EDUCATION.
its grali6cations are not to be purchased by
tears and clamour, will soon forbear; will
become tranquil and peaceable, and afford
reason to hope, that so desirable a temper,
improved by a rational system of education,
will accom|>any it through life : while the
being who has been accustomed to have
every wish gratified, for which it could cry,
may one day have recourse to other means,
more forcible than crying, to obtain its ob-
ject. Education, according to Mr. Howard,
should commence with the first dawn of the
mental faculties; and an anecdote is related
by his biographer, which exhibits a speci-
men of the discipline he really adopted :
' His child one day wanting something
which he was not to have, fell into a fit of
crying, which the nurse could not pacify.
Mr. Howard took him from her, and laid
him quietly in his lap, till, fatigued with
crying, he became still. This process, a
few times repeated, had such an effect, that
EDUCATION. 33
the child, if crying ever so violeutly, was
rendered quiet the instant his father took
him. In a similar manner, without harsh
words and threats, still less blows, he gained
every other point which he thought necessa-
ry to gain, and brought the child to a habit
of obedience.'^
The first process of education is easy and
simple, if not rendered otherwise by delay.
Should the reader happily be one of those
whose wayward passions were thus early
checked, she will bear her testimony to the
excellence of the principle. She has no
gloomy recollections attached to her infant
days : the gentle discipline she underwent
was at too early a period to leave any traces
upon her memory; the violence of self-will
was soon, but surely checked, and she has
not sallied into life with her hand against
* When there is reason to fear that the child may be
injured by excess of crying, let it be pacified or diverted by
some other object ; but by no means that for which it first
cried.
54 EDUCATION.
every one, and, of course, every one's hand
against her ; as is the case where passion
has been suffered to domineer without con-
trol.
It is a question, in some cases, whether
the infants of the rich or the poor are the
worst situated ? The former are frequently
exposed to a degree of neglect and suffering
in the nursery, which might damp the viva-
city of some gay mothers, were they aware
of it : and those who are anxious to cultivate
amiable dispositions in their families, and
to preserve the simplicity and purity of their
minds, will intrust them as little as possible
to the care of servants and hirelings ; re-
joicing if their rank in society, or small
circle of what are called friends, allows them
the unremitting superintendance of their
bodies and minds. The cusiom of not per-
mitting children to sleep with any but the
most confidential domtsticks, and not even
with them any longer than is absolutely ne-
EDUCATION. 55
cessary, cannot be too carefuliy attended to :
the evils of neglecting it are great and va-
rious, as many have lamented, and many
more might confess. Servants, if not ill-
dis|iosed, are, in general, too ignorant to be
trusted much alone with children : and the
terrours which a superstitious girl may ex-
cite in their minds, are, often so strong, as to
baffle the efforts of reason during many suc-
ceeditig years. Children have naturally, or
early acquired, a fear of * the dark;' which
it is desirable as quickly as possible to re-
move :, but a few words dropt by a servant
relative to ' the ghost' — ' the old man,' — or
some such mysterious personage, who ia in-
voked, perhaps, to run away with the young
delinquent, may ren<ler ever}' attempt to
dispel it for a long time unavailing. Ano-
ther practice, extremely injudicious, is that
of habituating a child to have some one, or
at least a light, in the room with it, till it
alls asleep : this is to cherish fear, instead of
56 EDUCATION.
destroying it ; and when is it to be laid aside ?
When the poor child becomes old enough to
be beaten for wanting it ; and when its ima-
gination has acquired activit}' sufficient to in-
crease and magnify the images, which were
too vague at first to have made any deep
impression upon its fears, if judiciously re-
pressed. A father has been known to un-
dress and go every evening to bed with his
only son, till he was ten or eleven years of
age. When the darling had been by this
means lulled to slee(), the parent was at
liberty to creep down again to his friends
or his business !
It is doubtful whether the bodies or the
minds of children sustain the greatest injury
from the inordinate gratification of their ap-
petites. There are few adults, in our days,
whose experience does not enjoin them to
practice abstinence, sometimes in conse-
quence of early indulgence; and, where this
is the case, the habit of self-denial is very
EDUCATION. 57
difficult to form, perhaps is never acquired ;
and a life of disease is endured for want of it.
Others, whose constitutions have not suffer-
ed, have felt the haneful effects of a pamper-
ed appetite in distant periods of life ; when,
instead of having it gratified hy what is nice,
they have been deprived by poverty of com-
mon necessaries, and have then felt ihe con-
trast with double poignancy. Children should
be accustomed to plain and wholesome food ;
should never, when in health, be permitted
to choose for themselves, or to ask for this
or that particular part or dish : nor will they
do it, but eat their meals jieaceably, (a great
help to digestion,) if they find there is noth-
ing to be had but what is placed before
them ; nothing, especially, for asking or for
crying for : they should learn, as soon as pos-
sible, that man does not live to eat ; but that
he eats to live.
How many family misfortunes are fairly
attributable to the love of dress I How many
53 EDUCATION.
might be obviated if this destructive passion
were nipped in the bud ! if chihlren were
early taught the original use of clothing, and
were mothers contented with keeping them
clean and warm ! There is so strong a pro-
pensity to decorate these objects of our affec-
tion» that an attempt to eradicate it is not
made with very sanguine hopes of success :
and such a copious source of maternal enjoy-
ment might be left unmolested, were it not
for the injurious effects produced by it upon
the infant mind. Yet, if there is a period
when the costume of a certain sect might
prove really advantageous, it is that of child
hood ; a period in which every bugle becomes
the prolifick seed of vanity and extravagance.
— What cost is frequently bestowed upon an
infant's dress ! An infant ! which wants noth-
ing to make it lovely and interesting ! At
first it receives neither pleasure nor injury
from the beauty of its attire ; for, in orna-
ment, simply considered, there is no evil;
EDUCATION. 59
but presently the child grows susceptible of
injurious feelings. The new shoes, the fine
hat, or frock, is promised as a reward for
good behaviour; is admired by every good-
natured friend to whom it is shown ; and no
wonder if objects thus recommended become
deeply and permanently interesting. How
lamentable, that some of the (irst lessons
conveyed to the mind should be in direct
opposition to the divine mandate ; not to be
solicitous about what we shall eat, or what
we shall drink, or wherewithal we shall be
clothed !
If to be genteel is the object, some of my
readers might be informed, that in decking
their children with finery, they depart Irom
the general practice of the rich and elegant :
children in such families are, with few ex-
ceptions, distinguished by the plainness of
their attire ; and whatever taste for dress
they in future evince, it is a foible which
seldom originates in the nursery. It is not
60 EDUCATION.
till the period at which education is said to be
finished, and young; hdits, are ' brought out,'
to exhibit the efifect of theirs to the world,
that much supert1uii;y of ornament is permit-
ted by mothers who are really genteel.
It is an errour very prevalent, but much
to be de[)lored, that the mtrsery, of all
places, should be destitute of neatness. Or-
der, cleanliness, and regularity, have the
happiest influence on the human mind, and
contribute more to keep the temper placid,
and the head clear, than many people are
aware of. * Let every things be done decent-
ly and in order,' is a precept that should be
extended from our religious concerns to all
the affairs of life; and where this invalua-
ble principle is associated with the habits of
childhood, it may reasonably be expected to
pervade the subsequent conduct, and contri-
bute largely to individual and domestick hap-
piness. Children who are always accustom-
ed to replace their toys when done with ; to
EDUCATION. 61
make no unnecessary dirt or litter; to be
puuctual in their observance of time and
place; will, even from the force of habit,
practise the same regularity in more im|)or-
tant concerns, on which (he prosperity of
future families may depend. It is to be re-
gretted that males are so generally neglected
in this respect; even where, with the females,
it is strictly attended to. This negligence
originates in the mistaken notion of its be-
ing out of a boy's department to be neat and
observant. It is not likely that, with the
utmost care, he should become too much so,
if that care is judiciously exercised; and
habits of regularity are as advantageous to
him as to his sister. Beside which, the
comfort accruing both to mistresses and ser-
vants, where the males of a family have
been so instructed, none but mistresses and
servants can duly appreciate. The only evil
that could result to the young men them-
selves, would be in the event of their future
coQuexiou with females of o[>posite habits.
62 EDUCATION.
It would contribute much to the comfort
of families, without in the least iiitcn-feriug
with that of childr*^ji, if some reasonable
bounds were set to the noise and clamour
witli which people suffer themselves to be
annoyed, because they suppose it unavoida-
ble. Children certainly mi^jht be accustom-
ed to quiet at certain times and in certain
places : and those who question the practica-
bility of this, have only to recollect what
wonders have been done with the brute sj>e-
ci€S by the force of habit merely. Are
children less teachable than brutes ? — A 2:en-
tleman once seeing a child much hurt by a
fall, expressed his surprise that he did not
cry. ' I must not cry in the parlour,' said
the child. And what injury did he sustain
■by this prohibition ? Perhaps by the time he
had jreacbed the nursery the pain had sub-
eided, and he felt no inclination to cry at
^, Unless, however, such prohitnlic^iis ori-
ginate in rational motives, motives which
EDUCATION. 63
children will soon perceive to be rational,
little benefit wili be derived from them be-
yond present quiet. A family of eight or
nine children, who had been placed under
the most unreasonable restrictions, and ren-
dered almost mutes by the father's caprice,
evinced, some of them by their future con-
duct, that they had rather been tbe slaves of
absurd self-will, than the subjects of paternal
government. The frolick of infancy and the
vivacity of youth are so natural and engag-
ing, that those who attempt to suppress them,
rarely succeed in forming a pleasing charac-
ter. It is only excessive or ill-timed vivaci-
ty that a judicious parent wishes to con-
trol ; but of times and seasons the parent
must be the sole and unquestionable judge.
A word, or a look, should be a sufficient
signal, and instantly obeyed.
Parents should recollect, that what is most
fascinaiing in their own eyes, and si»unds
that are musick to their ears, may be ex-
64 EDUCATION.
tremely troublesome and oppressive to others.
It was the remark of a sensible woman, that
* People think their children can do no
harm :' the noise, the distyrbance, even the
diseases of their children, can be unplensant
to no one. This mistake renders the visits
of those who are accomi»anie»! by a rude and
clamorous child, very unwelcome and irk-
some. As it is allowed to trample upon the
chairs and solas, to displdce, break, and
destroy whatever it pleases at home ; those
whom they visit cannot presume to defend
their own furniture from similar depredation,
but at the peril of otf^^nding the parent, or at
least of doing violence to their own feelings.
It is astonishing how much even superiour
people often depart from the rules of good-
breeding in this particular. But children
must be kept in subordination at home, or
they will rarely produce to their parents
either credit or comfort abroad.
EDUCATION. 65
It is painful to observe, in many families,
bow much the clue order of things is revers-
ed, by obliging the elder children to give
place to the younger : when, if there is any
weight in the arguments lor early discipline,
the reverse should be the case. This spe-
cies of hardship and persecution has the
most injurious effect on the temper of both,
as it is not by acts of oppression and injus-
tice, that the feelings of benevolence and
brotherly kindness can be cherished, either
in the oppressor or the oppressed. Those
"who practise this mode of appetising their
younger children, should remember, that the
surrender of a toy m ty be as severely felt
by a child, as if themselves were comjelled
to relinquish somH!hif»g of real value; and
that the sense of wrong effectually CDUute-
racts the disposition t<» kindness, which, per-
haps, they endeavour to instil. A voluntary
surrender of jpersronal grallfu'ali.ui shoidd be
early encouraged ; sellishness, in every pos*
5
^6 EDUCATION.
sible form, should be repressed : but coer-
cion, though it may form habits, never
forms principles, the only security for their
permanence.
However diverting the mistakes of infan-
cy may be, yet surely the sooner they are
rectified the better. Parents, frequently not
content with letting their children remain in
ignorance, really promote and perpetuate it,
by the absurd impositions they practice upon
them ; equally unconscious of the injury they
are doing, and of the ease and facility with
which they might be instructed. They
might improve every little occurrence, read
lectures upon almost every domestick pro-
cess, and make every utensil a diagram,
with scarcely any interruption to their own
avocations: and if, instead of a laconick
command, ' Do this,' or ' Do that,' they were
to explain the reason why this or that should
be done, they would at once impress it upon
the memory, and dispose the pupil to obey,
EDUCATION. 67
from the conviction that the method pre-
scribed was the only, or the best means, by
^vhich he could accomi^lish his purpose. To
accustom chihiren to habits of observation
on passing events and daily occurrences,
would oe more beneficial than the abun-
dance of tasks and lessons, with which riieir
tender memories are frequently loaded. Me-
mory, it is certain, must be early and dili-
gently exercised, or it will never acquire
facility and strength ; but its labours must
bear some proportion to the growth of the
understanding, or its exertions will be fa-
tigue, and its stores, lumber. A mind early
accustomed to act upon what it sees, will
acquire a degree of vigour, and a power of
discrimination, extremely serviceable in the
ditlicult and intricate circumstances to which
human life is exposed. As much as possi-
ble to excite the mental capacity, parents
should discuss their affairs in the presence
of their children, who will seldom make an
5*
68 EDUCATION.
ill use of Iheir confidence, unless there has
been some radical errour in the treatment
they have received ; an(i this certainly should
be corrected before tlie |>!an pro[>osed can
prudently be adopted. Where, from hiibits
of integrity and proper feeling, a child may
be relied upon, the happy effects of family
confidence will soon appear : they will take
an early interest in family concerns, and
endeavour to promote th^ general welfare,
with a degree of thojighifulness and self <!e-
nial, if necessary, lisat cannijt he expected
from tl'ose \Nho are kept at a distance, and
treated with srr'uigene^^s and reserve. Frank-
ness produces frankness, one of the most
pleasing (jUJiruies of the human heart ; and
this, family secrets and family [)arties hsve
a continual tenilency to repress : so that
children who hdve been brought Uj» under
iKis system, generally acquire an uuMraiable
casi of character through life. But the ne-
cessity for reserve and mystery decreases, in
EDUCATION. 69
projmrtion (o uprightness of conduct and rec-
tilude of inten'.ion : where these exist, there
is generally little to concecil ; and where
they do not, it is useless to prescribe rules
for education. A prior work must be per-
formed the cure must be attempted at its
source, in the renovation of the parents.
But this is irrelevant to the present sulyect.
Should any question the pru<lence, or
even the praciicai»ilily of the confidence
here recommended, they are assured that
it has been !*ersevered in with success in
numerous instances ; and that children who
have been accustumed to hear matters of
private concern discussed in the parlour,
from a very early a};^e, have never been
known to divulge them beyond its precincts.
But to this system one exception must be
made : those who indulge in habits of do-
mestick altercation or detraction, should
certainly choose opportuiiities in which their
children are absent; and a restraint of this
70 EDUCATION.
kind might prove as beneficial to themselves,
as the child found it, who was not permitted
to cry in the parlour. Few, it is presumed,
would desire their children to withdraw for
the purpose; and in the interval the humour
might be diverted, or subside.
If possible, my dear young friends, let
your children be strangers to scenes of strife :
they will soon learn to espouse some side,
and participate in the unamiable feelings
which such scenes produce. Remember
that ' all the wars of feeling leave their
trace :' and even if you regard their exiernal
appearance only, be solicitous to preserve
the countenance, that faithful index of the
mind, from the expressions of passion. Those
who have been nurtured ami<l scenes of do-
mestick peace anil tranquillity, though Na-
ture may not have been lavish of her gifts,
generally wear such aspects, as are invalua-
ble passports into the world.
EDUCATION. 71
There are, probably, persons who may
regard some of the above suggestions as fan-
ciful, or impracticable : but nothing has been
advised, that has not been practised with
success in numerous instances ; and those
who are convinced of their importance,
would be richly repaid by making the expe-
riment ; to accomplish which, nothing is ne-
cessary but resolution. When Frederick
the Third of Prussia suggested a plan for
the performance of some extraordinary mili-
tary exercise, and his general objected that
such a thing had never been done or thought
of: he laconically replied, ' It has been
thought of, and it shall be done :' — a spirit,
this, which overcomes difficulties insurmoun-
table to a feeble mind. That resolutions
thus formed should be persisted in to any
effect, it is necessary that both parents co-
operate. If to keep children in subordina-
tion, and to give a right bias to their minds,
entirely depends upon the mother, she
72 EDUCATION.
should possess more strength of mind and
address than Tails to the lot of i/omw»- females
in general : and what objects for commisera-
tion are ihose who, convinced of the vast,
the vital importance of their charge, and
sensible of their weakness if left entirely
alone, are obstructed in their arduous efforts,
by him who ought most anxiouslj to assist
and support them ! A house divided against
itself, cannot stand. How needful then is it
that both parties should unite in the imj^rove-
ment of their common propert} ; since, even-
tu Iry, both must part!cij)ate in the conse-
quences of the good and bad managt ment to
which it has been expos* d.
So much has been u'tten upon the com-
parative advantages of publick and private
education, that it would be superfluous to
protract the dispute : an<l persons in the mid-
dle ranks of society have IVtquenlJy no
choice, but are obliged to be guitle<i l;y cir-
cumstances. Yel, if there is any weight in
EDUCATION. 73
what has been already advanced, it is ob-
vious that schools, which do not abounci in
the means here recommended, cannot be pre-
ferred. Day-schools, where any sufficiently
respectable are within reach, may afford the
best substitute for domestick instruction, and
natural intructers. who forego, or are com-
pelled to resign, one of (he most rational and
pleasing em[iioymen{s in wluch the human
mind can engyge. that of rearing u\) us^^tul
members ot society, and, ultimately, inhabi-
tants for the heavenly world.
It is suTjirisiog how circumscribed are the
views of many who call themselves rational
peopb*. Hud love to be thought so. With
common foresight theN^ might discerri (he
fotjtuiation laid for diseases, and frequenily
death, l»y the mode of living adopted in th(*se
schools, the proprietors of which are not
sufficitnlly remunerate;i lor she comforiitole
support of the childrtii «ommitted to iheir
care." This vital evil is -ijot so prevalent as
74 EDUCATION.
formerly; yet, surely, too strict an inquiry
cannot be made, before the health of chil-
dren, and, perhaps even of their children, is
hazarded. It is during the season usually
spent at school, that Nature requires more
nourishment than at any previous, or subse-
quent period. Dainties are unnecessary and
injurious, either abroad or at home ; but as
much as a healthy appetite demands of good
and wholesome food, is indispensible both to
body and mind : more than this, it would be
a false tenderness to allow ; and it is the
part of discriminating judgment to discern
the exact point at which excess begins. That
the mind, if not injured, at least derives no
benefit from the ciistom already alluded to,
of overcharging the memory wilh what is
not understood^ many can bear their testi-
mony, who now reflect upon such severe
penances as the sorrows of ancient times.
Childhood is the season lor s[)rightliness and
vivacity, as well as for instruction ; and
EDUCATION. 7A
^vhether a great portion of it is not spent in
such (Irudgerj^ as must injure both the spirits
and health, may he questioned by those who
have witnessed the laborious exercises with
which children at some schools are 0|)press-
ed. At any rate, no task can be productive
of benefit, which is exacted as a penance :
none can love punishment ; of course, when
thus imposed, no chihl can love his task.
An antipathy to the sacred Scriptures is
often thus instilled : and what more effectual
method could be adopted for the propagation
of infidelit}^, than this mode of chastising the
frolicks of youth, by giving to be learned, as
a punishment, a chapter in the Bible !
It is however but justice to acknowledge,
that there are many school, the conductor?
of which have adopted, as mvjch as is practi-
cable in a publick establishment, a system
of domestick education; and thereby afford
a pleasijig substitute {or home, to the children
placed under their care. Such Instructers
76 EDUCATION.
have a strong claim upon the gratitude of
those parents who lay them under so great
responsibility, and repose in them a confi-
dence, great as is the value of the treasure
dej)Osited in their hands.
The unavoidable evils, however, which
have attached even to the best schools,
most of the male sex must encounter : and
m my circumstances conspire to render the
number of females comparatively small, who
receive the whole of their education under
the parental roof. Hrippy few, who are thus
situated ! who are trained up where affection
is regulated by prudence and skill ! where
no [)ains are iniiicted, or penances required,
but siich as are dictated by the tenderest
love, and fervent solicitude for their welfare !
If such do not prove bless<inga to all within
their sphere, where are we to look for amia-
ble charncters in this lower world ?
But that all do not prove blessings, we
are constrained to allow. Where this, un-
EDUCATION. 77
happily, is the case, I would say, do not
publish your children's failings. Sh -uld
their conduct be very irregular, it will war-
rant some suspicion of youl* management ;
and, in any case, you had much better en-
deavour to correct what is amiss, than to
de[)reciate thi^m in the esteem of others,
and thus weaken one of the motives to
honourable conduct. The consciousness of
beins: suspected, or desi>ised, has the most
injurious etfect upon" the mind ; while the
hope, that wc enjoy the good opinion of our
friendsv contributes, powerfully, to render us
deserving of it, and frequently deters from
unworthy actions. We find, accordingly,
thMt those who during chiUlhood have been
accustomed to perj)etual chiding, and fre-
quent and publick marks of disapj)rolmtion,
rarely attain to any dignity of character, per-
haps not even to common respectability of
conduct. It is lamentai !e to hear parents
say of their children, ' I got such a one to
rS EDUCATION.
speak to them, for they will uot mind me.' —
Indeed ! — Then it is to be feared, fhat the
precMus opportunity has gone by, in which
habits of obedience might have been formed ;
and that an occasional reproof from a friend
will not produce any permanent benefit.
And now, my young friend, before I quit
this part of my subject, I shall solicit your
attention to one so intimately connected
with it, that I trust I need not apologize for
its introductio!!. It is the treatment of ani-
mals : the im})ortance of attending to which,
from its influence upon the happiness of jour
children, has, perhaps, never occurred to
you. In doing this, I feel less hesitation,
from being sanctioned by such a name as
that of Erskine, who, to his honour as a man
and a senator, impelled as well by humane
feelings towards suffering creatures, as a
^desire to promote the interests of society,
laid the subject liefore a British Senate. The
respect due to so august an assembly, induce?
EDUCATION. 79
US to draw a veil over the result : but as the
efforts of an immortal Clarkson, and his coad-
jutors, in a cause of still greater magnitude,
finally triumphed over avarice, prfjudice,
and inhumanity ; the hope is not yet extin-
guished, that the laws of our country may
extend their benip;n influence to the lower
orders of the creation ; and while niiti>^ating
their unnecessary sufferings, aim a success-
ful blow at, vice and immorality : though it
is not to the credit of human nature, that we
are obliged to inlist our own interests in the
cause of any creature having; life or feeling,
before its appeal can gain access to our
hearts.
That this subject should q^eed apology
with the humane, especially those of the
female sex, is surprising ; but in such cases
it must be from want of thought, rather than
of feeling; and .: lew words will suffice, per-
haps, to recommend it to their consideration.
That those domestick animals which we
80 EDUCATION.
retain, eidier for our convenience or caprice,
have a righlful cF-iim u[)on ns for their main-
teunnce and good usa^e is obvious upon a
iTH)raent''s reflection : and what subject is
there connected with the comfort of any
creature that can feel, upon which we slioiiUl
thiiik it too much to reflect for a moment ?
Yet almost every house furnishes a proof
that few have given themselves this trouble,
in what Miss Porter so emi)hatically stales,
* that ill treated and traduced creature, the
cat.' To what severe suffering is this ani-
mal exposed from famine, in houses abound-
ing with plenty, where its cravings might he
supidied by the least possible attention, and
no expense at all. Like all otbers, when in
a natural state, it is competent to supply its
own necessities; or if occasionally otberwise,.
it is no affair of ours : but when oner domes-
ticated, though still a beast of prey, it can
rarely maintain itself, ano has a claim upon
those who have made it their property to
EDUCATION. 81
assist in its support. But poor Grimalkin is
often dubbed thief for life, and doomed to
continual persecution and neglect, because
she has no alternative between famishing
with hunger and those nefarious practices
which are punished by the unfeeling cook
with many a kick upon her naked ribs :
while those who would not wantonly drown,
burn, or scourge a poor animal to death, feel
perfectly at ease upon the subject ; forgetting
that tht'irs is but a negative kind of humani-
ty. They would not neglect the bird impri-
soned in a cage; but where is the difference
between an animal in or out of a cage, pro-
vided it cannot procure the means of subsis-
tence ?
Some people's feelings are wonderfully hurt
if they see an animal in good condition, while
so many of their own species are in want;
as if there were no difference between giving
a bone to a dog, and the meat to a beggar :
the former can always be done with little
6
82 EDUCATION.
trouble and no cost, but it is not always con-
venient to do the latter. Those who ex-
pend or waste upon favourite animals what
would really supply the wants of a child,
and who neglect a single human creature in
order to do so, have doubtless to answer for
a cruel misapplication of iheir benevolence.
But it is a question, whether those in gene-
ral who state this objection, are any more
charitable in this way, for their want of feel-
ins; in that. There is one^ who feeds the
youna: ravens when they cry ; who satisfies
the desire of every living thing; whose ten-
der mercies are over all his works. How
amiable those, who in imitation of the divine
example, |)ractise universal benevolence, and
take care of the meanest creature they call
their own !
As far as cruelty, cruelty of any kind, is
tolerJited in a state, its pretensions to civili-
zation mny be questioned, and its views must
be considered as proportionally contracted.
EDUCATION. 83
It is no remote conjecture then, that, in tear-
ing the liml)S from the agonized body of a fly,
the little urchin is inflicting a wound, which,
at some future period, shall be felt by his
country ! And, in the same act, what a
blow may be aiming at those who witness
the scene without concern ! An eventful
moment shall it appear to have been when
this minute germ of vice, though ia the esti-
mation of his tender parents only like a grain
of mustard seed, shall have sprung up and
produced the most noxious fruit : — fruit which
may poison their latter days, and eventually
bring their gray hairs with sorrow to the
grave ' It is only a fly.' Only a fly !
It might as well be an elephant ; ils eSects
upon the tortured and the torturer are the
same. The refined xAiheniaus adjud2;ed a
man to dt^ath for dashing a bird to (he ground
which had taken rffii^e in his bosom; re-
gardifig it as an indjcafion of present bad
feeling, and a presag*^ of future bad conduct.
6 *
84 EDUCATION.
We may not approve of punishing thus bj
anticipation ; yet we must admit, that the
suspicion was very probably correct. But
we need not refer to ancient times : a variety
of names, by which the pages of modern
literature are embellished, have enlisted upon
the same side, and endeavoured, though
hitherto almost in vain, to instil the feelings
of humanity to the brute creation into man-
kind. That' this in so many instances is
without effect, is not surprising; for, if it is
difficult to remove prejudices and destroy
evil habits, in cases that have a direct influ-
ence upon our happiness, those whose influ-
ence is indirect or remote, though equally
certain, are little likely to be regarded. On
such, people will scarcely give themselves
the trouble to think. Should the time ever
arrive when the cries and groans of the suf-
fering and oppressed creation find their way
to the heart of man, and duly meliorate his
conduct, what happy days may not be anti-
EDUCATION. 85
cipated ! For who couid lift a weapon against
his brother, who, equally from principle and
feeling, would not wantonly injure one of
the lowest brutes ? The stag and the hare,
those amiable and innocent creatures, would
still bleed to supply his table; but they
would cease to be tortured, to furnish him
sport. There would still be butchers, but
not huntsmen ; fishermen, but not anglers :
the lords of the creation would no longer
appear in a situ, t ion so calculated to excite
a smile ; — mighty warriours, whom, with a
troop of dogs and horses, one might imagine
in pursuit of some nightly depredator; some
noxious beast, who had been devouring our
flocks, or scouring our hamlets, in quest of
the sleeping infant ! of whom, in short, one
might imagine any thing, rather than that
they were pursuing a poor little animal, that
one of their fair wives or daughters might
destroy with the pressure of her finger and
thumb ! Rear not up a sportsman, my young
86 KDUCATION.
friend ; but, by the rescue of a fly drovviiiog
in a cup of water, or by a morsel afforded to
a domestick animal, lay the foundation of
more kindly feelings; feelings that may be
productive of virtue and happiness when
you are sleeping in the dust. This subject
cannot conclude better than with the follow-
ing extract from the writings of Mr. Pope :
' Montaigne thinks it some reflection on
human nature itself, that few people take
delight in seeing beasts caress or play toge-
ther, but almost every one is pleased to see
them lacerate and worry one another. I am
sorry this temper is become almost a distin-
guishing character of our own nation ; from
the observation which is made by foreigners
of our beloved pastimes, bear-baiting, cock-
tiii;hting, and the like. We should find it
hard to vindicate the destroying any thing
that has lifp, merely out of wantonness, yet
in this principle our children are bred up :
and one of the first pleasures we allow them
EDUCATION. 87
is the license of inflicting |).'iin upon poor
animals. Almost f s soon as we are sensible
what life is ourselves, we make it our sport
to lake t from other creatures. 1 cannot
but believe a very <i;ootl use mig;ht be made
of the fancy which children have for birds
and insects. Mr. Locke takes notice of a
mother who permitted them to her children,
but rewarded or [)unished them as they treat-
ed them well or ill. This was no other
than enterino; them betimes into a dail}'^ ex-
ercise of humanity, and iraj.roving their di-
version to a virtue. I fancy, too, some ad-
vantage might be taken of the common no-
tion, that it is ominous or unlucky to destroy
some sorts of birds, as swallovss or martins.
This opinion might possibly arise from the
confidence these birds seem to put in us by
building under our roofs : so that this is a
kind of violation of the laws of hospitality to
murder them. As for robin red breasts, in
particular, it is not improbable they owe
88 EDUCATION.
their security to the old ballad of ' The Chil-
dren in the Wood.' However it be, I don't
know, I say, why this prejudice, well improv-
ed, and carried as far as it would go, might
not be made to conduce to the preservation
of many innocent creatures, which are now
exposed to all the wantonness of an ignorant
barbarity.
' There are other animals that have the
misfortune, for no manner of reason, to be
treated as common enemies, wherever found.
The conceit that a cat has nine lives, has
cost, at least, nine lives in ten of the whole
race of them. Scarce a bov in the streets
but has, in this point, outdone Hercules him-
self, who was famous for killing a monster
that had but three lives. Whether the un-
accountable animosity against this useful do-
mestick may be any cause of the general
persecution of owls, (who are a sort of feath-
ered cats ;) or whether it be only an unrea-
sonable pique the moderns have taken to a
EDUCATION. 89
serious countenance, I shall not determine ;
though 1 am inclined to believe the former.
Yet, amidst all the misfortunes of these un-
friended creatures, it is some happiness that
we have not yet taken a fancy to eat them:
for, should our country retine upon the French
never so little, it is not to be conceived to
what unheard of torments owls, cats, &c. may
be yet reserved. When we grow up to men,
we have another succession of sanguinary
sports ; in particular hunting. — I dare not
attack a diversion which has such authority
and custom to support it, but must have
leave to be of opinion, that the agitation of
that exercise, with the example and number
of the chasers, not a little contributes to re-
sist those checks which compassion would
naturally suggest in behalf of the animal pur-
sued. Nor shall I say with Monsieur Fleury,
that this sport is a remain of the Got hick
barbarity; but I must animadvert upon a
certain custom, yet in use with us, and bar-
90 EDUCATION.
barous enough to be derivecJ from the Goths,
or even the Scylhians; I mean that savage
compliment our hunlsmen pass upon ladies
of quality, who are present at the death of a
stag, when they put the knife in their hands
to cut the throat of a helpless, trembling, and
weeping creature !
' But, if our sports are destructive, our
gluttony is more so, and in a more inhuman
manner : lobsters roasled and fish fried alive !
pigs whipped to dealh ! &c. are testimonies
of our outrageous luxury.* Those who (as
Seneca expresses it) divide their lives be-
twixt an anxious conscience and a nauseat-
ed stomach, have a just reward for their glut-
tony in the diseases it brings with it : for
human savages, like other wild beasts, tind
* Fish of all kinds may be previously killed by putting
them, for a sufficient time, into cold pump wafer. This
mode should be strictly enforced upon servants ; for, in-
dependently of the shocking cruelty, there is no need yet
more to brutalize the lower orders.
EDUCATION. 91
snares and poison in the provisions of life,
and are allured by their appetite to their de-
struction. I know nothing more shocking,
or horrid, than the prospect of one of their
kitchens, covered with blood, and tilled with
the cries of the creatures, expiring in tor-
tures. It gives one an imnge of a giant's
den in romance, bestrewed with the scatter-
ed heads and mangled limbs of those who
were slain by his cruelty.'
92
SICKNESS.
You perceive, by this time, my young
friend, that the task you have undertaken is
both multifarious and complicated, were no
other cares or duties to demand your atten-
tion : but, alas ! you may be called to act a
most important pait in scenes which will
require an additional portion of prudence,
self command, care, and skill. Rare, indeed,
■will be your lot, if, after rearing a numerous
family, your matronly qualifications have
never been exercised ia the sick chamber :
then will you be deprived of lessons which
are among the most salutary taught by ad-
versity ; lessons which, as they foster some
of the best feelings of the heart, are eventu-
ally productive of happiness.
It is not the object of these pages, to
attempt more upon the important subject of
SICKNESS. 98
sickness, than a few general hints : but, be-
fore I proceed to these, I would observe,
that it is less difficult to prevent diseases
than to cure them. Air, exercise, and ha-
bitual placidity of temper, have more influ-
ence in this respect than (to judge by their
conduct) many people are aware of. Persons
who would shudder at the idea of incapacita-
ting; themselves for the duties of life by in-
toxication or other vicious excesses, often,
by a criminal in" iention to their health, ap-
proach nearer to the guilt than they are wil-
ling to own, and produce the same effects,
only by a conduct a little less discreditable.
That Being who gave us life and health, has
a right to expect that we use all suitable
means to preserve them from injury, in order
that we may perform the various tasks he
has allotted us, with alacrity and cheerful-
ness. But mortal poison is disregarded, if
its effects are slow and scarcely perceptible.
Because no immediate pain results from th*
94
SICKNESS.
want of ..'r and exercise, people neglect
them till neitlici' air, nor exercise, nor medi-
cine, can avail. They feel that they Ciin-
not exist without food, hut they do not feel
immediately that they cannot exist without
exercise and air, although equally necessary »
they therefore persist in neglecting them, till
life itself, perhaps dragged on through many
a miserable year, hecomes a burden, and such
a burden as those only who have borne it
can describe. It cannot be denied, that
heads of families frequently find it extremely
difficult to select any })ortion of the day for
this necessary duty ; but they find time to
eat and sleep, and to do a variety of things,
which they deem indispensible to the welfare
of their families : would they rank daily ex-
ercise among the number of their necessary
duties, how much longer might their families
be blessed with their protection and support,
instead of being left orphans, as. from this
fatal uegligeuce, many are ; or, at any rate,
SICKNESS. 95
instead of inheriting such constitutions from
sickly parents, as must render their own en-
deavours to preserve health of no avail!
But, with every precaution, disease is npt
always to be avoided ; and from being una-
ble to prevent, we must study how to cure.
Many lives are sacrificed by the officious in-
terference of the ignorant, who, when it is too
late, have recourse to medical assistance ;
and because the physician cannot perform
miracles, deny his skill. This not unfre-
quently is rendered ineffectual, by the ignor-
ance or prejudice of the nurse, which has
converted many a healing draught into
mortal poison : or what is equally disastrous
in its consequences, administered death in
a quack medicine. If some of these are good
in their kind, yet they are always applied at
great hazard, for want of skill ; this can only
be expected in a regularly educated medi-
cal man. It is from his watchful eye alone,
observing the varying or complicated symp-
96 SICKNESS.
toms, that any salutary effect from medicine
can be rationally expected. If this is the
case how ungrateful must they be, who,
when restored to life and health, grudge the
remuneration which such services demand'
Yet these are the people who frequently esti-
mate the skill of the practitioner by his ex-
ternal appearance, and place no confidence
in the prescription, unless he attends in a
carriage. But neither is skill acquired, or a
carriage maintained easily : a handsome in-
come must warrant the latter, and years of
laborious study and application precede the
former. Who ought to compensate for these,
but those who reap the benefit of them ? On
the other hand, a liberal education should be
accompanied by a liberal mind. It is pre-
sumed that none will afford just occasion of
com(>laint, but those who have not the ad-
vantage of either : especially that none will
be so indiscriminate in their charges, as not
to distinguish between affluence and medi-
SICKNESS. 97
ocrity : or will so afflict the afflicted, as
when they have restored a healthy appetite,
to deprive of the means of gratifying it.
If any attention is to be paid to, or confi-
dence placed in, medical writers, who with
t)ne accord assert the importance of regimen,
we shoukl ex[)ect them to be very explicit
upon this subject when they attend the sick,
especially as they are continually witnessing
the fatal mistakes that are made respecting
it : but, as they are not invariably so, it be-
hoves the nurse to apply to them forinf<'rma-
tion, and having obtained it, implicitly to
follow their directions. It may be very use-
ful to make minutes of the proceedings of a
sick chamber, with the occasional ohstrva-
tions of physicians, for future use; not as a
substitute for medical help, but as a guide to
the nurse in her department.
Every woman of sense and observation
will soon discover the necessity of keeping
a sick chamber well ventilated and fnmisal^
7
98 SICKNESS.
ed. Many people imagine, that if a disor-
der is not infectious, this precaution is un-
necessary ; not considering that a healthy
person could not continue in the same
apartment long together, especially with
a tire night and day, without rendering ihe
atmosphere unwholesome ; and that tiie dis-
eased are peculiarly susceptihie of bad air
which contributes greatly to retard their re-
covery. When the weather will permit,
the doors and windows of a sick room should
be opened daily, tor a few minutes, and a free
current admitted, provided it be not suffered
to blow upon ihe patient, who will alsu be
much refreshed, as well as his attendants, by
having a hot iron put into vinegar and carri-
ed round the chamber ; and if slips of lemon-
peel are strewed upon the bed, it will have a
very agreeable effect. That a change of
linen must be dangerous, is a prejudice now
entertained by the vulgar only ; cleanliness
can do harm in no case : if linen be well
SICKNESS. 99
aired, it can scarcely be changed too often ;
and by these means* rooms, in which the
sick have been confined many months, have
been kept as sweet and fresh as any other
apartment.
Experience has proved, that the notion of
keeping the delirious perfectly still, may be
carried loo far, at any rute in the early stage
of delirium. The mistake of a distempered
imagination may be rectified, and the patient
rendered quiet and tranquil, for a time, by
judicious management. Let him, for in-
stance, be remui»1ed in a low and delil)erate
voice of the hour of the (lay the day of the
week ; the room he is in ; who were last in
it ; where they are now gone ; with any other
simple occurrence that may have taken place
in his presence. In this way let any extrava-
gant notion be rectified in as few words as
possible, to bring his ideas into a rational
train : and if these means are repeated every
time there is a disposition to wander, they will
100 SICKNESS.
generally have a very favourable effect. If
it is true, as has heen asserted, that deliriums
have been a2:'Ji;ravated by the flowers, and
large patterns of bed curtains, it is obvious
that too much care cannot be taken to chas-
tise the imagination, to siymplify the ideas,
and prevent them from running into confu-
sion : but this will not be accomplished by
leaving the patient to himself, and suffering
him to follow the vagaries of a distempered
fancy, and thereby increase the irritation.
When, however, the cause is removed, the ef-
fects will cease. The firsl devolves upon
the physician, but the second may be ereatly
mitigated by the management of a judicious
nurse.
Those who have never before duly estima-
ted the importance of keeping children in
subordination, v.ili no longer withhold (heir
assent, when the child dies because il wilhwt
take its medicine! — Will not ! Some parents
can boast of never having heard such a word
SICKNESS. 101
in their families ; and of their children's
owing much of their recovery, under provi-
dence, lo their habitual tranquillity.
But, my dear reader, let me remind you of
what youth is much disposed to for2;et, — that
you may be sick yourself. Now, if you are
beloved by all around you. which I hoi>e is
the case, their affliction is liille short of your
owu, perhaps it is much greater: their united
anxiety and fatigue have a claim upon you
even in your lit* l[)less state, and you will not
be so absorbed in your own sufferings as to
forget theirs, or give unnecessary trouble,
when you perceive with what anxious coun-
tenances they prepare your nutriment : if*
after all their pains, it do not sjjit your palate,
or gratify your wishes, remember the fault is
not in them, but in your distempered frame ;
that not only your own sufferings may be
tranquillized, but that you may greatly miti-
gate theirs by a patient and grateful carriage
towards them. It is true, that in the event
10*2 SICKNESS.
of your being taken from them, the remem*
brance of such conduct might inflict an ad-
ditional pang : but it will also be admitted,
that there is joy in such grief.
103
IS^ VII.
VISITERS.
Such as are in the habit of observing
what passes before them, with a view to
their own improvement and direction in fu-
ture exigencies, will accumulate a stock of
experience, of which they are wholly desti-
tute, whose minds have not been accustomed
to such exercises. It was observed, in treat-
ing upon education, that lectures might be
read upon almost every domestick process,
that every utensil might be converted into a
diagram, and persons might adopt a similar
mode of self-instruction ; a mode which need
not be retarded by want of leisure; as the
im|)rovement of the mind in knowledge and
experience, is a process that may not only
go on amidst the most multifasiuus avoca-
tions, but which may actually be assisted by
them. Those who are unaccustomed to
104 VISITERS.
mental industry ^vould scarcely believe what
rubbish may be converted by it into use ;
even that troublesome lumber, as some peo-
ple es'eem it, the chat of old wives ! To
this the prudent young woman will be atten-
tive when it falls in her way ; because, at
the worst, she may glean from it some piece
of useful information in the art of housekeep-
ing; some scraps of homely knowledge, col-
lected by age and experience, which her own
good sense may turn to account : she will find
that old dowagers do not invariably talk non-
sense or scan\ial.
Nor, if she hns any taste beyond the sphere
of domestick concerns, will she be inatten-
tive to the conv«^rsation of persons of the
other sex. Knowledge is desirable in all
situalions, if it be not obtained by a sacrifice
of that time which their j.eculicir duties de-
mand ; and subjecis of literature.' espec ially,
afford resources, of which 5 he mind cannot
be deprived; a fund of enjoyment alike va-
VISITERS. 105
luable in prosperity and adversity. Some
seusiole people have observed, that they like
to hear every man talk in his own line, upon
subjects, therefore, which he well under-
stands, and with which others are but par-
tially acquainted. Much conversation, nei-
ther interesting nor useful to a common ob-
server, will, by the more sa2;aci(»us and intel-
ligent, be carefully gathered up, and kept in
s[ore for future service. Those who search
the streets for pins, rusty nails, and bits of
iron, which others have cast away as refuse,
are thereby obtaining a livelihood : perhaps
occasionally finding a treasure. And where
the mind is disposed to similar industry, se-
lecting the valuable from things which are
every day and every hour passing before it,
what a treasure is amassed in the course of
years ! What a legacy to bequeath to poste-
rity ! There is a tolerably fair proportion of
eyes, ears, and cornrnon sense, distriiuiled
among mankind, would they only apply them
106 VISITERS.
to the purposes for which they were bestow-
ed. Young people must feel that they have
much to learn upon most subjects ; and a
young h<)usekeei»er especially, who is anx-
ious to acquit herself well, and conscious of
son)e awkwardness for want of practice, will
avail herstif of every hmt by which her
management may be improved ; she will
gather up even the fragments, that nothing
be lost.
In the middle classes of society many feel
themselves perplexed at iirsl in the enter-
tainment of company ; but it would be irre-
levant to the general intent of this work to
give that minute information which such
require. Those who are in ^he habit of fre-
quenting genteel tables will learU; by proper
observation, how to conduct their own, as
to appearance and arrangement ; and the
culinary detail may be learned, as far as
instruction can ever teach without practice,
from a book, entitled, ' A new System of
VISITERS. 107
DoDiestiick Cookery ; founded upon Princi-
ples of Economy, an<l ada{>ted to (he use of
private Families. By a Lady.' This work,
tho'.igh, like all others of the kind, it has its
defects, is, on the whole, the best that has
appeared, and is held in deserved esteem by
many young; housekeepers. There certainly
is no part of domestick management which
requires more skill and address, in order to
unite g:entility with economy, than the con-
duct of the table. Some persons suppose,
that they cannot preserve an air of boSf>ita-
tality without profusion : hut they are egre-
giously mistaken ; for, with a little manage-
ment, a table may he genteelly fiirnished, at
an expense comijaratively small, yet so as
will give it a decided superiority over the
lavish, and even clumsy feasts provideti by
many ho8j)itable and well meaning people,
who, not knowing a medium between profu-
sion and meanriess. would despise, perhaps,
that respectable kind of frugality which is
108 VISITERS.
here recommended. It has been .justly re-
marked, that those who would study econo-
my must learn among (he rich; or, at least,
the genteel ; where an observant eye will
frequently obtain lessons, which may be
advantageously applied to humbler circum-
stances.
There is one lesson, however, which per-
sons must frame for themselves, and which
is a most important one to young people
when they enter life. It is the proportioning
of their acquaintance to their finances Hos-
pitality is a virtue recommended in Scrip-
ture, both by prece[jt and example ; and
friendship, that cordial of life, can he preserv-
ed oi'ly by showirjg ourselves friendly ; but
when the love of com|?:iny. for its own sake,
becomes the prevailing passion, it is no
longer hospitality, but dissi[)ation. People
of fortune are obliged, in some degree, to
comply with Ihe customs of (heir own socie-
ty, whether quite congenial to their tastes or
YISITERS. 109
otherwise, and could not make any material
alteration, without the appearance of eccen-
tricity ; an appearance always to he avoi<le<l,
unless enjoined hy duty and reason ; an<i it
is the part of good sense to draw r he line
correctly between necessary and unnecessa-
ry singularity. But there are many, whose
connexions are numerous and respectable,
•who would be warranted by their circum^i
stances to make some decided regulations
with regard to company, at their first setting
out in life. Such conduct, however, requires
some fortitude, and must be founded upon a
conviction of its necessity, or it will not be
persevered in ; for, in many cases, it is simi-
lar to the cutting off of the right hand, and the
plucking out of the right eye : it is enforced,
however, by innumerable fatal instances,
within every one's ofiservation. Of these, a
single anecdote, known to the author, may
be introduced as a s|>ecimen.
A young coufde, having a very numerous
acquaintance, were, on their marriage, pre-
110 TIglTEKS.
sented by them with plate and other articles
to a considerable amount; and they natural-
ly Ihought themselves very fortunate in the
possession of such numerous and kind friends ;
(kin»i fi lends undoubtedly they were ) Im-
pelled by feelings of gratitude, the young
people endeavoured to make returns lor ihe
favours they had received, by frequent en-
tertisinmenis : the conse<]uence. though ditfi-
cuSi !o avoid, was such as experience would
have anticipated; the presents they had re-
ceived became, in f)rocess of time, the pro-
perty of their creditors, while some of those
who had presented them made remarks on
the imprudence which themselves had con-
tributed to increase, each one thinking that,
* excepting me^ they ought to have kept lit-
tle company : 1 was only one, and could not
possibly hurt them !' If further persuasives
need be added to such instances as these,
they might be furnished by keeping an ac-
count of expenditure, as has been strongly
VISITERS. Ill
recommended in another place. Were this
plan uiiopied, it would rt quire a greater pro*
porrion of hardihood than most people pos-
sess, to persevere in any course of super-
fluous expense, the amount of which would
continually force its»:il( upon their observa-
tion.
There are many friendships, as they are
called, commeoced in the early part of life,
which experience proves to be not worth
preserving : to relinquish such on both sides^
would be wise ; especially where the number
still retained is quite equal to the means and
opportunilies : and few will disapprove of
such counsel, but those who have nothing to
do either with their time or their money.
Persons of this description will, in general,
be unable to account for many of the strange
actions of men of l)usiness, and women with
families ; and must be placed in such situa-
tions themselves, before they will sus|»ect
that many of their friendly calls have been,
112 VISITERS.
if not too frequent, at least ill timed and pro-
tracted : from the inconvenience of which,
those of their friends, who cannot conscien-
tiously suffer themselves to be denied, are
without defence. There are some who in-
struct their servants to say they are not at
home; and assert it to be no falsehood, be-
cause the meaning of it is well understood.
It is but a gentler phrase, they contend, for
saying that they are unable, or unwilling, to
be seen. This certainly is not avoiding the
appearance of evil, nor is it setting a proper
example before servants; who, in their rc-
ceptation of the words, are uttering a round
and premeditated falsehood, and who will
learn, by these menus, to disj)ense with
truth for their own convenieuce occasionally,
as well as for their master's. But 1 beg
pardon for this digression.
Before I quit the suiyect of visiters, I may
solicit the attention of my reader to what
cannot be introduced with equal propriety,
VISITERS. 113
elsewhere. A prudent woman, who is sensi-
ble how liable she is to errours and mistakes
herself, will be little disposed to investigate,
censure, or ridicule, the domestick conduct
of others. To hear females, after returning
from a visit, ridiculing the entertainments of
those who, perhaps, had been doing their
very best to treat them with hospitality, is
painful and disgusting. It is true that such
frequently pacify their consciences by expos-
ing the blunders of their friends only to their
husbands, mothers, sisters, or aunts ; forget-
ting that, as these stand in no such relation
to the person exposed, the injury done is the
same as if the communication had been made
to any other individual. Habits of observcL-
iion here, it is to be lamented, are too preva-
lent among all classes ; and the propensity
to ridicule, though sometimes a prostitution
of superiour talent, is the common resource
of a vacant mind, unequal to self-improve-
ment. Its own mistakes and errours lie un*
8
114 VISITERS.
discovered, while those of others, especially
of the trivial kind, are sought for witii avidi-
ty, and magnitied into importance. They
furnish food, without which minds of this
description know not how to subsist; and
which, by its noxious qualities, eventually
indisposes them for more wholesome nutri-
ment. But if in any degree, my young
friend, you are unequal to the duties of your
station, it is more than probable that you
may, in turn, become an object of ridicule
yourself; and however unbecoming it may
be in others to smile at your incompetence,
the smile, with regard to yourself, may be
justly incurred.
There is one object upon which ridicule
seems likely to expend itself: and it is la-
mentable, that even women of feeling do
not always scruple to indulge themselves this
way ; while many, from the solitary title of
a wife, without any other pretension, suppose
themselves at liberty to treat with contempt
VISITERS. 115
and ridicule females, as much their supe-
riours in character as in years, merely be-
cause they remain in a single state. This
is a species of cruelty in which both sexes
are apt to indulge; but it merits unquulitied
censure, and should call a blush into the
cheek of every female who has ever been
guilty of it. Perhaps, ladies, some of these
traduced and persecuted beings have been
only more delicate in their choice than yoji
have been ; or circumstances may have arisen
in this mutable world to prevent Iheir enter-
ing a state which they were qualified to
adorn; circumstances which have thus de-
prived you of the benefit of many excellent
examples. It does not invariably happen
that persons remain single because they are
not worth having, or that others are married
because they are : an example of here and
there a married lady might, perhaps, be found,
which would prove the contrary. Her hus-
band, it is true, may be known in the gates ;
il6 VISITERS.
lie may bear the marks of her negligence
about him wherever he goes : her children
may rise up, not to call her blessed, but to
set her authority at defiance, and to spread
the contagion of an ill-governed family far
and wide. She may be employed, too, in
manufacturing girdles and other trappings;
not to sell to the merchant, but to decorate
herself in unbecoming finery, and to instil
the destructive passion for dress into her
children. It is not from being a wife merely,
that real respectability can arise.
A few words upon an errour into which
some young persons fall in the choice of
their associates, and the present subject
shall conclude. Many are so blind to their
real interests, as greatly to limit their socie-
ty to persons of their own age : among these,
if they are careful in the selection, they
may, doubtless, be furnished with valuable
examples; and, upon the whole, they are
generally the best calculated to pass away a
VISITERS. llf
social hour. But are all old people uninte-
rest'iDg ! None would be so, if in early life
they had accustomed themselves to habits of
observation and thought : but many there are
who have availed themselves of passing
scenes, have accumulated a rich stock of ex-
perience, and are solicitous to diffuse it all
around, that the young may obtain gratis,
what they^ perhaps, have purchased at a dear
price. Many of them have not forgotten how
to amuse, while they instruct, and are capa-
ble of tempering the dignity of age by a cheer-
ful vivacity. But it must be confessed, that
characters of an opposite description are suflfi-
ciently numerous, to account, in some mea-
sure, for the distaste of which we complain :
and what objects for commiseration are those »
who, when neglected and avoided by all,
cannot retire into themselves and find re-
sources there ! Would you, my young friend,
avoid so forlorn a condition ? Perhaps you
are now caressed and courted by all your
118 VISITERS.
i
acquainfance : but what would be j'our feel-
ings, were the case reversed, and your socie-
ty shunned and avoided ? This 7vill be the
case, unless now you apply to the cultiva-
tion of 3'our mind. Youth and beauty will
be gone before you are well aware ; time is
rapidly bringing them to their climax; then
they will be on the wane ; and, if these are
all you possess, what a dismal prospect pre-
sents itself !
Place yourself tiow, therefore, at the feet
of those venerable characters from whom
5'ou may learn wisdom ; and do not a(loj)t the
foolish notion, that those of modern times
must, in all respects, be wiser than their an-
cestors : history does not warrant us to view
human wisdom as so progressive. You
would feel indignant, were your sagacity
and experience put upon a level with that
of a girl at school ; as doubtless she would,
to be ranked with a child in the nursery.
Why, then, be reluctant to admit that the
VISITERS. 119
aged possess all the advantages that time
can give in a much greater proportion ?
It is truly interesting to contemplate youth
and age, when united by congenial minds,
enjoying the pleasures of rational friendship.
If youth may profit by the experience of
such a friend, age is amply recompensed for
the instruction it so willingly bestows, in
the sprightly vivacity which endeavours to
cheer its drooping spirits, or the kind atten-
tions and voluntary services performed to its
feeble frame.
120
N°- VIII.
KEEPING AT HOME.
1 MIGHT feel some hesitation in the intro-
duction of this subject, if 1 had not a sanc-
tion which none can well dispute, that of
the apostle Paul, who expressly commands
that the young women ' be keepers at home.'
Now, I have applied to the learned to ascer-
tain whether the words in the original, or
by any possible rendering, might be made to
contradict what they seem to enjoin, since
this is no unusual mode of dispensing with
passages that may not suit our taste or con-
venience : but, I believe, in this instance, I
am tolerably safe, and that nothing remains
to be done, as we cannot refute the command,
but to conform our habits to the genuine
sense of it. It is obvious, however, that it
would be impracticable for females to ob-
r--*«
KEEPING AT HOME. 121
serve and profit by the experience and con-
duct of others, and to perform raany of the
duties which devolve upon them in society,
if these words were to be understood in their
widest meaning : they can only be designed
to correct that propensity to gadding, that
disinclination to the retired occupations of
home, which too many have evinced, from
the days of the apostles to the present time.
If the heart is abroad, the footsteps will fol-
low, under some pretence or other. Those
who cannot resist an invitation, who seize
every opportunity, or create opportunities
where none exist, to gratify this dangerous
passion, should have such a text of Scripture
set before them continually, in all its forci-
ble simplicity and unequivocal meaning, be-
fore they venture upon a direct breach of
the command. It is surprising, that many
who profess a deference for the Bible, should
act in this, and some similar instances, as if
no such injunctioQs could be found in it.
122 KEEPING AT HOME.
A thoughtless creature must she be, an^ a
cipher in her family, who inquires why she
must keep at home. Those who are habitu-
ally absent from home, underrate their ovtq
importance, for their presence ought to be as
essential there, as that of a general at his
post ; and it would be no breach of charity
to presume, that something must be amiss
in such families. Where children are thus
frequently left, it is impossible to estimate
the extent of the evil. Will it be thought
too much to assert, that society at large is
eventually affected by it ? Surely not ;
■when the danger of contamination, and Ihe
incurable mischiefs of early impressions, are
duly considered. To what purpose is the
divine injunction, if hirelings are as compe-
tent to superintend a family, to take charge
of the bodies and minds of children, as iheir
parents ? But the utility of every duty in-
culcated in Scripture is so clear, and the
performance of it so consonant to reason,
KEEPING AT HOME. 123
that obedience and happiness are evidently
inseparable.
What a melancholy catalogue would our
newspapers exhibit, if, beside the ravages of
the devouring flames, and the midnight mur-
derers, those made upon the human mind by
the habitual absence of mothers, were faith-
fully recorded ! If such a register were kept,
it would doubtless appear, that too severe a
censure could not be passed upon those who
abandon such important duties, for places of
publick amusement. Mothers whose eyes
are suffused in tears at the pathetick scenes
of a tragedy, may, perhaps at that moment,
have the scenes of a deeper tragedy prepar-
ing at home, in which themselves, at some
future period, may be among the principal
characters. And is there not another de-
scription of persons to which, with much
tenderness, similar hints may be addressed ?
Mothers, who, in attending the publick ser-
vices of religion many times during the week,
124 KEEPING AT HOME.
are obliged to neglect those important duties
which, as ntiothers, Providence has commit-
ted to their hands : we allude to those reli-
gious societies where week-day services are
customary. It is true that the usual atten-
dance at such times is seldom too large, and
that it may be deemed a kind of index to
the state of religion in those individual socie-
ties ; but it is not in general from the nursery
that the thin ranks should be filled up.
Many there are, who, without neglecting any
duty, or with but little exertion and manage-
ment, need not forsake this assembling of
themselves together, this free-will offering
from the time which Providence has intrust-
ed to their disposal, and let such feel them-
selves doubly bound. But the God whom
we serve will have mercy rather than sacri-
fice : and surely from those mothers who
leave large families to the care, or rather to
the negligence of servants, while they attend
thoBe extra services, he may demand, ' Who
KEEPING AT HOME. 125
hath required this at your hands, that yc
should tread my courts ?' Far be the thought
of discouraging any, even mothers, who,
without neglecting duties at home, can thus
secure an hour from secular employments
for their spiritual benefit. * Come in, thou
blessed of the Lord ! why standest thou with-
out ?' would we earnestly say to such. Come
in, and strengthen the hands and comfort the
heart of him who serves in the sanctuary.
Come in, and enjoy the blessing which, both
in season and out of season, is ready to
descend. But to such only could we thus
speak : others might more suitably be remind-
ed of that command which says, ' Six days
shalt thou labour and do all thy work.'
Innumerable painful instances might be
adduced, of evil resulting from the practice
to which we allude ; and, among many known
to the author, one may be mentioned of a
vrell-meaning, but mistaken woman, who,
during the infancy of her children, pursued
126 KEEPING AT HOME.
this system to excess. When they were
arrived at maturity, she acknowledged, with
agony, that she had not one who did not scoff
at religion! But the immorality of their
conduct rendered this confession superfluous.
A religious parent with an immoral family !
Surely, if vice pervades the whole of them,
it is not unfair to suppose that there has been
some important mistake or negligence in
their education. ' W hile men slept, an
enemy has crept in and sown tares among the
wheat.' It should also be remembered that
servants, as well as children, suffer from the
frequent absence of her whose duty it is to
superintend them ; acquiring habits of idle-
ness and irregularity, which a mistress will
find it difficult to reprove, and still more diffi-
cult to correct, while thus remiss in her own
department. When she quits the post at
which she is stationed, and in which her own
interest is so deep, it is not to be wondered
at if servants quit theirs, in which they have
KEEPING AT HOME. 127
no interest at all; nor is it likely they should
be skilful in Iheir business, when the watch-
ful eye of the mistress is so ofteu removed.
Where this neglect arises from the love of
dissijmtion and gayety, she can scarcely be
pitied when sufifering from its inevitable ef-
fects.
But we have not yet mentioned the hus-
band, the poor husband! Where is he all
this time ? The parable tells us of one who
had married a wife, and therefore could not
accept an invitation : but if she is more often
out than at home, he will be induced to ac-
cept invitations that may eventually prove
to her disadvantage. The man who is not
domestick in his habits, will rarely be kind :
but where are the charms of the fire-side ;
where is that which should give him a taste
for its pleasures, if the wife, its chief orna-
ment, is absent ? He is an object of the
greatest commiseration, whose domestick
feelings cannot be gratified by the presence
128 KEEPING AT HOME.
of her whom he has selected from the rest of
her sex to cheer his social hours ; and she
must uot be surprised if his disappointment
eventually recoil upon herself.
To a woman of proper feeling, no plea-
sures could be greater than those which the
society, esteem, and affection of her husband,
the improvement of her children, and the
due order of her family, afford. But, lest I
should be thought too rigid, or be suspected
of attempting to consign the young to days
of toil and drudgery, 1 will suggest some
sources of relaxation, for which they need
not be indebted to the caprices of their ac-
quaintance, and which are excellent substi-
tutes for that unprofitable round of visiting
in which some people pass their lives. If
these were added to the necessary and ra-
tional intercourse which all ought to main-
tain with their relations and real friends,
life would be rendered, even to those who
have large families and much to do, not
KEEPING AT HOME. 129
quite so gloomy a thing as some are disposed
to represent it. Who, of my young readers,
will not give me auiiience upon the interest-
ing subject of recreation? But, before the
preceding hints are dismissed, permit me to
suggest, that instead of applying them ex-
clusively to your acquaintance, as perhaps
might easily be done, you for once reverse
the order of politeness, and appropriate as
many as possible to your own use ; as we
have, in general, more encouragement to
amend ourselves than others.
Q
130
N^ IX.
RECREATION.
Lest what I may reeommend upoa this
subject should appear chimerical or imjirac-
ticable, I shall confine myself to the relation
of facts, and record what has been done by
some who were strongly disposed to recrea-
tion, and willing to enjoy as many of the
pleasures of life as its duties would permit.
It must be allowed, that few could do exact-
ly the same whose circumstances and situa-
tion in life were not somewhat similar ; yet
such as could not adopt the whole, might
have been inclined to select a part, and
model it to their own convenience, could
they have witnessed some happy seasons,
which have left effects as salutary upon the
characters of those who acted in them, as
they have imprinted indelible traces upon
KECREATIOX. 131
their memories. But it is necessarj' that the
reader should have contracted a taste for
literature, in order fully to appreciate the
pleasures here recommended. Literary oc-
cupation formed one of the princi[)al sources
of recreation in the cases referred to, and
was accompanied by a variety of advantages,
which might not have been perceived by a
superficial observer. But how, it is inquired,
could a wife and a mother, so occupied as we
are told she must be, find opportunity for
reading ? Ah ! where are the husband and
children now ? How she could, remained,
indeed, a difficult question for a long season :
but at last it occurred, that the hours of
breakfast and tea might be devoted to this
rational amusement, without encroaching
upon more important avocations. — While
the children were in the nursery ? — No. —
One of the parents read aloud, while the
little auditors were sitting, and actually
quietly eating their bread and butter in si.
132 RECREATION.
lence. And soon, very soon, did they begin
to glean fragments of knowledge ; soon were
their tender minds enlarged by ideas imper-
ceptibly imbibed, which years of school dis-
cipline could scarcely have instilled : while
to the parents many a pain was beguiled,
many a corroding care forgotten, as the inte-
resting page was explored. Soon, too, an
addilioual advantage was derived from this
custom; the children were so early habituat-
ed to occasional quietness, that it became
easy to take them to a [)lace of worsliip :
and thus again, a common reason for leaving
them to the care of strvants was avoided.
And, even if they had been disposed to
altercation, yet many, no doubt, of such dis-
graceful jars as disturb the mei'ls ol numerous
families, reputed to live happily^ would have
been |)revented. If reading thus twice a day,
in the presence of a family, perhaps for a
period of twenty years, were not to produce
some salutary etlecis upon the heads and
RECREATION. 133
hearts of children, still parents might congra-
tulate themselves upon obtaining:, by this
means, one constant source of gratiticatiou,
amid the multifarious cares and concerns of
life. Anticipating similar cares for their otf-
spring, they will be solicitous both to inspire
tastes, which may thus afford a lasting solace,
and to render, at least, one portion of their
lives, the days of childhood, serene and de-
lightful ; affording them every innocent en-
joyment, and, as far as possible, such as,
while they amuse, cherish the best feelings,
and improve the characler. To contribute
to these desirable ends, the aid of birth-days
may be called in. The young mind has not
yet attained the pleasures of retrospection ;
it prefers something in prospect. Age and
experience halt and look back ; youth pres-
ses forward, and is susceptible of feelings all
its own, in the anticipation of future enjoy-
ment. With such feelings, in general, the
early birth-day is greeted; and seasons of
134 RECREATION'.
this kind may be improved to the happiest
purposes, as well as made subservient to in-
nocent pleasures. They are calculated to
soften family feuds, to silence petty bicker-
ings, and to excite a fraternal interest in the
bosom of every individual. In summer,
such days may be commemorated by a coun-
try excursion, provisions taken, and the re-
past spread under the shade of a tree ; while
^halti^^, one, perha{)s, sketches the surround-
ing; scenery ; another reads ; thus uniting pro-
tit with pleasure ; and on their return a little
repast may be provided : the whole conclud-
ing with devout acknowledgments to that
Being, who has given life and breath, and
all things richly to enjoy. In the winter a
temporary cassation from usual tasks ; the
whole family assembled, as for an extraordi-
nary occasion, and other significant prepara-
tions, may announce a gala day; and the
evening spent in drawing, reading, musick,
or any amusement congenial to the family
RECREATION. 135
taste, will lou^ be remembered mih affection
and pleasure. In families of any size, these
seasons occur too frequently to allow of com-
plaints for want of recreation ; the interval
is short between one anniversary and an-
other ; and if daily reading be added, and
evening walks, the time cannot pass away
very heavily. Persons thus occupied and
amused, need not be dependent upon tlieir
neighbours for zest and interest;- they have
complete enjoyment in the happy circle at
home. Nor is it to a few families only that
the materials for happiness are confined;
most are possessed of them in a greater or a
less degree, within the narrow compass of
their own walls ; but, while the natural and
rational sources of pleasure are neglec'^d,
life moulders away, and at the close of it
numbers look back and complain of their
scanty portion of felicity. They had sought
it where it was not to be found, in artificial
pleasures, and had overlooked the satisfac-
136 RECREATION.
tion and delisht arising from the performance
of duty, from the expansion of domestick
affections, and from cultivating the intellec-
tual powers : unhappily they attached the
ideas of confinement and drudgery to every
thing that was to be felt or done at home ;
and when the foolishness of man has thus
perverted his way, his heart fretteth against
the Lord. Happy they who learn early to
prefer the pleasures which God has provided,
and whose minds are prepared by him to en-
joy them.
137
N°- X.
THE STEP-MOTHER.
If the task is so important, the responsibi-
lity so great, which* attaches to a moiher,
with what cautibn should a female undertake
a charge, in which she has not the co-opera-
tion of natural aflection ! 1 would earnestly
advise my reader, before she surrenders her
afifections to a widower and a father, first to
ascertain whether it will be possible to be-
stow a due portion of them upon those ob-
jects, in whom, if he does not manifest the
deepest interest, he affords an insufficient
security for her individual happiness. Should
he betray an indifference to their welfare, he
gives reason to suspect the weakness of his
attachment to her who was their mother :
and in this case, my young friend, if self-
133 THE STEP-MOTHER.
love do not interpose with brighter anticipa-
tions, an inference unfavf)urable to your own
future happiness must be the result.
Should you, on the contrary, be able to
form a pleasing and rational expectation of
what he may be by what he has been, and\
from what he still iV, to those dear pledges
of his earlier afTection, I would again entreat
you to make a solemn pause before you en-
ter into so serious an engagement. When
such a one takes you, he not only places
his own happiness at your disposal, but that
of others, dear to him as the apple of his eye.
And will you betray his confidence, when
the power with which he has invested you
biiH defiance to his utmost vigilance ? Shall
the circumstance of becoming a mother your-
self, which is calculated to enforce the ten-
der lesson, shall this operate against them ;
and, insensible to the feelings and equal
claims of those you are bound to foster and
protect, will you transfer the whole of your
THE STEP-MOTHER. 139
affections to your. own immediate offspring?
If so, it is clear that you love them not for
their father's sake, but for your own ; and
this would direct the most amiable propensi-
ties of the female heart into a sel&sh channel.
Without in the least derogating from the
superiority of the other sex, she must be a
very superficial observer who has not disco-
vered, that they are deficient in that species
of minute discernment, of intuitive penetra-
tion, which enables women to feel their way
through the diflficullies of the world, and of-
ten successfully to combat superiour strength.
From this deficiency, men frequently become
the dupes of artifice and criminal design.
The woman who has gained complete ascen-
dancy over her husband's affections, in gene-
ral requires nothing but address to possess a
proportionate influence upon his conduct.
Nor let statesmen, or philosophers, or heroes,
feel indignant at the assertion. Solomon,
the wisest of men, was seduced into the
140 THE STEP-MOTHER.
grossest absurdities and the deepest crimes;
not by his wife, but his wives, for whcm he
could not feel the ardour of concentrated
affection. It cannot, then, be surprising, if
men of inferiour order, (and whc^ is not ?)
should be unduly influenced by the indivi-
dual upon whom they have fixed the whole
of their afifection ; should lie first blinded, if
such be her unworthy aim, and then led, as
her passions or caprice may dictate. Ac-
cordingly, we have beheld, with agony, fa-
thers, whose hearts have been alienated from
their own children, the relicks of a once
beloved wife, by falie representations and in-
cessant complaints. Every childish foible
has been artfully magnified into a crime ;
if not obvious necessaries, yet every indul-
gence, represented as superfluous, and either
withheld or reluctantly bestowed. The new
family have been suffered to tyrannize over
their elder brethren; au<l, by a strange per-
version, they have been view ed as interlopers
THE STEP-MOTHER. 141
or encroachers. — Ah ! my young friend ! if
your jieart, and, what is more, if your princi-
ples, cannot insure better conduct from i^on^
give up the father an(i his children, and leave
him and them to the mercy of hirelings, who,
in case of flagrant miscon<Iuct, may be disco-
vered, and can be exchanged.
Bii^, if this expostulation should come too
late to prevent the danger, let your own ten-
der infant plead in behalf of those you are
disposed to o[)press or neglect. You are fas-
cinated by its smile : they would smile U[»on
you, too, if they dared, or if they discerned
any thing in your deportment^ to encourage
them. Once they </?// smile on their mother;
but, alas ! her eyes are closed in deilh ; as,
indeed, yours m&y be, you know not how
soon, and the darling of your a(!ection may, ia
its turn, have no maternal eye to sympathize
either with its sorrows or its joys. But, if
its smile prove iueffectUHl, let its tears pre-
vail. Ah ! its sobs you cannot bear, you
142 THE STEP-MOTHER.
hush its little sorrows at any price : these
Aveep, too, but their tears are disregarded ;
their monns are magnified into crimes ; yet,
if they hfive any recollection of her they
have lost, theirs are not trivial sorrows ; their
little hearts may be unable to distinguish the
cause of their woes; they only recollect that
they once were happy, and they feci that
they are not happy now. Yet all this may
be the case when no just cause of complaint
may appear to the superficial observer, when
no decided ill usage may mark your conduct :
on the contrary, it may assume the appear-
ance of solicitude for their good, of zeal for
their welfare; and for their good it may even-
tually prove to be, though far from your real
design ; the afflictions of their youth may be
blessed by the orphan's Friend to the im-
provement of their characters, and may give
them a decided advantage over your own
family in fulure life.
THE STEP-MOTHER. 143
But, while they suffer daily from your
unkindness, or, at least, Irom your iodiife-
rence, it is probable that they gradually lose
ground in the aflections of their father. Were
hft to examine his own heart, he would dis-
cover that his love is less fervent than for-
merly, less fervent than towards his new
family; and he might, by a judicious inves-
tigrition of circumstances, discover also the
cause, and, in a degree, become proof against
the eucroaching evil : but whether or not he
may «iiscern the difference, bis family will,
ere long, make the discovery, and he might ,
anticipate, with little hazar<l of mistake, jea-
lousy, strife, and discord, as the natural con-
sequence ; thorns (hat will beset his future
path, and be too deeply rooted for his utmost
care and toil to eradicate. Judge, my young
friend, whether all this can terminate in the
happiness of her by whose misconduct it
was produced, or contribute, in any degree,
to that of her offspring.
144 THE STEP-MOTHER.
One important lesson she may learn, from
reflecting upon lier own feelings and conduct.
In proportion to the ditficully she finds in
conducting herself well towards the children
of another, especially if any thing really un-
engaging exists in their characters, she will
be solicitous to educate her own, that if, by
her death, they should fall info similar cir-
cumstances, they may, at least, afford no
just cause for prejudicing their father against
them; and that their amiable dispositions,
confirmed and improved by her judicious
management, may give them one chance, at
least, for ingratiating themselves with her
who has become their mother.
There is an ungenerous err? ur, into which
a female is apt to fall who becomes a second
wife ; she views her precedessor. though
mouldering in the dust, as her rival ! Proba-
bly she still e'xisfs in the memr»ry and affec-
tion« of her husband; and, if she whs a
worthy character, this ought to be the case :
THE STEP-MOTHER. 145
should he be one also, it certainly will. To
become the successor of one so deserving
and so beloved, is no light undertaking : yet,
as every female excellence was not concen]
trated in her, it is possible for a man to ap-
preciate the virtues, and love the person of
a living wife, while he retains the most sin-
cere affection for the memory of the dead.
View her, then, no longer, as a rival, but
as a partner in his heart, and never suffer
him, by your conduct, to make a comparison
to your disadvantage.
I would earnestly recommend to you the
study of human nature : you need not travel
far in your researches ; descend into your
own heart, and there you will be furnished
with lessons well adapted to your purpose.
When you have acquired some skill in the
science, you will discover, that sympathy
should be an essential ingredient in your
friendly intercourse with all ; but especially
with him whose bosom friend you are ; and
10
146 THE STEP-MOTHER.
to sympathize with him in his tender tecol-
lections of a departed wife, while it gratifies
his feelings, will enhance your own charac-
ter, and confirm his affection to yourself.
But if her memory should be held thus sa-
cred, with equal tenderness should you re-
gard the dear pledges she has left ; pledges
which Providence and their father's choice
have deposited in your hands: do by each
no less than you would wish to be perform-
ed to your own memory and your own chil-
dren, should they ever be committed thus to
the mercy of another, and you will secure
the approbation of your husband, of your
family, of society, and, what is of far greater
importance, of your own conscience, and of
God.
147
N^ XI.
TO THE HUSBANQ^.
You have heard, my friend, of the multi-
farious and difficult duties required from her
whom you have chosen for your partner in
life. You discern, that hers is a station
equally important with your own ; and that
whatever place you hold in the estiraati')n of
society, it depends greatly upon your wife,
whether your children attain the same emi-
nence. You perceive in how great a degree
your domestick happiness, as well as your
prosperity, is at her disposal. If you have
made choice of one whom your judgment as
well as your heart apj)roves ; one who wants
nothing but experience, to render her all that
is valuable in a wife; your own duties and
obligations will appear in a forcible light.
What does not a man owe to such a treasure ?
On the day when you solemnly committed
148 TO THE HUSBAND.
your happiness to her, she afforded an indubi-
table proof of the most unlimited confidence
in you, by surrendering her liberty into your
hands, and making you her undisputed lord.
Should you sustain a fair character in the
Yvorld, suffer not her who has the first claim
upon you, to know of your amiable qualities
only by report. A saint abiuad, and its op-
posite at home, is an offensive compound,
and it is well, if, in process of time, some
illnatured tell-tale do not divulge'the truth to
society : indeed, it is seldom that real charac-
ter can be ke[)t a secret long, even with the
greatest precaution. But, if it could, how
impolitick is it for a man to render his home,
of all places in the world, uncomfortable, as
is frequently done upon the slightest occa-
sions; and often in cates where the wife is
not proijeriy responsible, or where it is evi-
dent that she has taken all possible care to
promote his comfort, though, from the negli-
gence of others, without success! He should
TO THE HUSBAND. 140
invariably conduct his own affairs with pre-
cision and exactness, and preserve the great-
est regularity in those whom he employs,
before his wife is made answerable for the
negligence and blunders of servants, or she
and they, and j)erhaps a whole company, are
embarrassed and rendered miserable, because
some dish lia[)pens not to be seasoned lo his
taste, or lo aMj)ear in time. A man of this
cast has mistaken his cunjpanion for his
slave.
It is allowed, that every man should be
master of his own house, a jirerogative which
he may preserve inviolate, without in the
least interfering vsidi that of his wife; and,
in general, it will contribute more to his
comfort, if she is left to the (juiet direction of
those concerns which are more immediately
within her i)rovince: that woman should not
have been made a wife who is inadecjuale to
such a trust ; and if adequate, ha|)py is she
whose lot is cast with one capable of per-
150 TO THE HUSBAND.
7.
ceiving Ihe discretion with which she fulfils
it; who knows, and approves, the judicious
medium between extravagance and parsimo-
ny, and who, of course, does not counteract
her prudent endeavours to preserve it. In
vain does she watch over her own depart-
ment with scrupulous care, if the husband
does not co operate with her in the system of
economy, and submit with cheerfuhiess toils
necessary privations. In vain does she at-
tend to the minutiae of expenditure, and re-
trench, if needful, every indulgence of her
own, if he is spending upon a larger scale.
In that case, while the wise woman is build-
ins a house, it is the foolish husband who
{HJileth U down wilh his hands.
To What sufferings, on the contrary, are
those women exposed, who are not allowed
a sufficiency to defray jh« expenses of their
establishment, and who never obtain even
llieir scanty allowance, but at the [irice of
peace ! Men who act in this way, often
TO THE HUSBAND. 151
defeat their own intentions, and by constant
opposition render those wives lavish and im-
provident, who would be quite the reverse,
were they treated in a more liberal manner.
It would not be difficult to find examples of
this ungenerous system, and its disgraceful
effects; but they are not required. Wherever
41 is adopted, it is utterly destructive of con-
nubial confidence, and often compels women
to shelter themselves under mean contrivan-
ces and low arts, equally injurious to their
husband's happiness, as to their own charac-
ters. From such men, indulgence is not to
be expected : he who supplies usual and ne-
cessary expenses with so sparing a hand, will
rarely be attentive to the extra calls of sick-
ness, or endeavour to alleviate, by his kind-
ness, the sufferings of a constitution, perhaps,
wearing out in his service. It was observed,
upon the subject of cruelty to animals, that
many, because they would not drown, burn,
or scourge a poor animal to death, think
152 TO THE HUSBAND.
themselves sufficiently humane, though they
suffer them to famisli with hunger: and does
not the conduct of many husbands suggest a
similar idea ? They imagine, that if they
provide carefully for the maintenance of their
families; if their conduct is moral; if they
neither beat, starve, nor imprison their Avives ;
they are all that is requisite to constitute
good husbands, and (hey pass for such among
the crowd : but as their domestick virtues
are chiefly of the negative kind, the happi-
ness of her, whose lot it is to be united to
such a one for life, must be of the same de-
scription. Even the large allowance, ' Have
what you like,' is insufficient to satisfy the
feelings of many, who would be more grati-
tied by the presentation of a flower, accom-
panied with expressions of tenderness, than
l)y the most costly indulgences they could
|)rocure for themselves. A delicate miud,
united, perhaps, to a delicate constitution,
has little relish for luxuries self-acquired.
TO THE HUSBAND. 153
A pruileat woman ought fo be made ac-
quainted with her husband's affairs ; she has
an indisputable claim upon his confidence;
with him she must stand or fall : he should
not, therefore, conduct Jier blindfold to the
edge of a precipice, and plunge her, unsus-
pecting, into the gulf below ; nor has he any
right to complain, if her expenditure is some-
times too liberal for his circumstances ; she
cannot be expected to act with judgment, if
the ground upon which she goes is concealed
from her.
To render the married life happy, there
must not only be confidence, but sympathy,
which is an essential ingredient in its felici-
ty. Pleasure or pain, of whatever kind or
degree, is never communicated to another,
but with the hope of obtaining the cordial
smile, or the ready look of attention and
interest: and those who, either from want of
feeling, or of thought, withhold them, have
made little progress in the study of human
nature. But, whatever similarity of taste
154 TO THE HUSBAND.
may subsist in a married pair, the difference
of their pursuits and avocations is such as to
require considerable watchfulness in this par-
ticular. Happy is it, where atfectiou and a
just sense of politeness co-operate to render
them attentive to each other, whenever inter-
est is expressed, let the occasion be what it
may : and engaging are those tempers which
are ever ready to weep with those who weep,
and rejoice with those who rejoice, even in
cases where little emotion might have been
excited by the event or the accident, but
that which arose from this kindly feeling.
But, if similarity of views and feelings is
ever important, ever indispensible, it is so in
the education of children. It is probable,
my dear reader, that your avocations \fill
not permit you to take a very active part in
this most momentous of all temporal con-
cerns : but if your assistance must be dis-
pensed with, at least be solicitous not to
retard. In one hour, in one moment, you
TO THE HUIBAICD. 153
may overthrow and render abortive the la-
bour of weeks or months, and make your
children set at defiance her authority, upon
whose wisdom and prudent management may
depend the future ha[>piness of their livei,
and, perhaps, the peace and tranquillity of
your own declinine years. ShouUI your
situation and circumstances be such as to
permit you to superintend their education,
avail yourself of the privilege, for yon can-
not have an employment more useful, more
delightful, or eventually more productive.
How many are there, who spend a
great proportion of their time in training
animals to contribute to their sport, who,
to the unspeakable advantage both »f their
children and themselves, might employ the
same time, the same energy, and persever-
ance, in traininjr man ! And to what com-
parative perfection might he not be brought,
if transferred from the care of one parent to
another, he passed only through ditferent
156 TO THE HUSBAND.
stages of instruction and disipline, dictated
by (he tenderest affection, and the Avisest
solicitude for his future interests! Where
this cannot be the case, and one half of
such inestimable advantages is unavoidably
curtailed, allow the mother full sco[)e for her
exertions, nor throw any impediment in her
way, already too perplexing and difficult.
As communities and armies are composed
of individuals, it is obvious that each indi-
vidual must act his part, or the operations
of the whole will be retarded ; nay, that if
every individual were to suspend his assis-
tance, the whole could no longer act at all.
This, which is true upon the largest, is also
true upon the smallest scale ; it might be
brought down as low as the parlour, or still
lower, to the kitchen, if required. Survey
some apartments, where a number of thought-
less individuals are assembled, and where the
hat of one, the gloves of another, the cane
of a third, the knife of a fourth, the brush of
TO THE HUSBAND. 157
a fifth, the handkerchief of a sixth, and so on
in proportion to the size of the family, are
left to bestrew the floor, the chairs and the
tables. ' ''Thonli/ my hat,' says one ; ' 'Tis
only my cane,' says another, without con-
sidering that a house full n^ onl7/s, constitutes
some one in it a slave, if every one will not
take his share of the burden ; and that by
the simple process of each individual resum-
ing and replacing his own properly, confusion
might be reduced to regularity, as by the
touch of a magical wand, at least with as
much expedition as evolutions are made at
the word of command. You who imagine,
that upon this larger scale your feats would
astonish the world, practise first upon a small,
and begin the manual exercise within the
walls of your own castle, where hosts of the
enemy might be put to flight without danger
of a wound, and where your exploits would
be rewarded by the smiles and thanks of her
who presides in it ; smiles of complacency.
158 TO THE HUSBAIfD.
instead of involuntary expressions of vexa-
tion and disgust. Perhaps, if some portion
of that spirit of order, that love of re-
gularify, which she displays, were trans-
ferred to the r<hop or the counting house,
it might both increase the comfort, and
secure the permanence of the establishment.
Thp*"e are some men, at least, who might
obtain useful lessons from the domestick
mam\gement of (heir wives ; and those who
require no such assistance, but preserve,
upon principle, the strictest order in their
own department, should not object to au
equal solicitude evinced by their wives in
theirs.
It is in general from thoughtlessness, from
want of a moment's reflection, ^a moment's
care, that this distressing negligence pro-
ceeds : and from the same cause it is that
persons, otherwise quick in discerning, do
not perceive, that, if to perform their little
offices, everv one for himself, is a tax so bur-
densome, it. must be inexpressibly more so to
TO THE HUSBAND. 159
that unhappy individual upon whom, in case
of bis negligence, the whole must devolve.
Nor ought she to be thought unreasonable,
for wishing good order lo be preserved in
her humble sphere ; for, if from the bee-hive
or ants' nest, to the mighty empire, order
and regularity are i»(lis!»ensible, why should
the poor housewife's domain be excepted,
when all below, and all above her, are allow-
ed the privilege ? It has so favourable and
^ pleasing an effect upon I he mind of a sensi-
ble woman, when the males of her family
contract habits of decency and order, and
evince a respect to her feelings therein, that
it might be worth while, were this the only
advantage, to make the experiment; es-
pecially as the etfort required would be so
small. There is something, indeed, so
agreeable in the character of a gentleman, that
there are few females to be found with whose
taste it would not accord. A slovenly
ploughman may be no inconsistent cbarac-
160 TO THE HUSBAND.
ter : tliere may, too, be slovenly lawyers,
physicians, soldiers, and divines; nay, for
any thing I know, slovenly dukes and lords ;
but a slovenly gentleman can only be ranked
with si^hinxes, griffins, unicorns, and mer-
maids.
Something has been advanced upon the sub-
ject of keeping at home ; and, to the woman
who has a just sense of duty, home will be the
spot where her happiness is concentrated,
whether her husband is there or not : but if,
after all her exertions to render it agreeable,
he takes no delight in it. and by his unne-
cessary absence proves that he undervalues
her society, of how much deserved felicity is
she not deprived ! He, raethinks, whose pre-
vailing passion is for going abroad, has little
right to object, nay, should make the widest
allowance, if his wife should manifest the
same disposition. Ai-d if she should, the
fate of that family may be augured with
little danger of mistake. Should she not^
TO THE HUSBAND. 161
her situation is inferiour to tliat of his ser-
vajits, who, if they have cause for discontent,
chuige their master, and meliorate their
condition. It is only criminals that should
be punished with solitary confinement.
But if, unhappily, husbands and wives
should rarely meet at home, it is possible
that they may occasionally meet abroad ;
and here it is of more importance than many
married people are aware of, that each should
render to the other that kind of houourf
which is due to sur.h a relationship.
Many, indeed, who are by no m^*:in3 defi-
cient in real affection and mutual respect, fail
to express either in 1 heir general conduct, and
appear as if at liberty to treat with pe-
culiar neglect, that individual, whom one
has promised to honour, and the other lo
cherish. A wife is tenderly alive to the
kind attentions of her husbarul, whether at
home or abroad : and neither can more
gracefully fulfil the m irriage vow, than by
11
162 TO THE Husband,
thus giving honour, open and cheerful hon-
our, to whom honour is due.
As every man is mathematician enough
to know that the whole is composed of parts,
he might, by the most simple process, ascer-
tain whether the character of a good husband
is justly his due. Pounds are composed of
pence, centuries of moments, this ponderous
globe of atoms; and so, in the most impor-
tant relations of human life, trivial attentions,
nameless kindnesses, habitual tenderness, go
far to compose the sum of its happiness.
The great outlines of a picture may be cor-
rect, but it is by a variety of minute and
scarcely perceptible touches, that it is ren-
dered beautiful and complete. Refined, in-
deed, is the enjoyment of those who know
both how to bestow and how to appreciate
this exquisite finish.
163
IX^- XII.
CONCLUSION.
And now, my dear reader, should I be so
happy as to have obtained your hearty con-
currence with the foregoing pages ; yet,
could I know of your closing the book with-
out discovering it to be incomplete, we
should not part mutually satisfied. Hitherto
I have said little more than the wisdom of
this world would suggest ; and, though thus
far I may have gained your cheertul atten-
tion, it is possible that now you may take
alarm, and decline the perusal of a subject,
in which you feel, perhaps, but little inte-
rest, or suppose that you feel enough with-
out further anxiety. But let me crave, for
a few moments longer, that attention with
which yoij have hitherto favoured me, and
nothing shall be advanced that will remind
]64 CONCLDSION.
you of sects or parties ; nothing; but what is
clearly authorized by the sacred Scriptures;
nothing but a few simple truths, to which,
upon retlectiun, your own reason, 1 doubt
not, will assent.
The Scriptures plainly reveal that there
is a 2;reat and glorious Being, the creator
and the upholder of all things, the sovereign
disposer and Lord. And as to him we owe
all we have and all we are, he has a right ta
our best services : these, to be acceptable,
must spring from the pure motive of filial
love ; for he says, ' My son, give me thine
heart / and we are enjoined to set our affec-
tions on things above, to seek first the king-
dom of God and his righteousness; and not
to labour, as if it were our only portion, for
the meat which perisheth, but for that which
endureth unto eternal life. The aj)ostle
Paul was so convinced of the necessity of
this, that he couqied all things but dross
that he might wia Christ : and wherefore,
CONCLUSION. 165
says the prophet Isaiah, do ye spend your
money for that which is not bread, and la-
bour for that which satisfieth not ? Also of
the two sisters recorded in the gospel, it was
she who sat at the feet of Jesus, to be in-
structed in heavenly things, and not the one
who was cumbered with much serving, that
obtained his approbation. Vain, indeed,
would be your utmost diligence; in vain
would 3'ou rise up early, sit up late, and eat
the bread of carefulness, without having Him
for your friend, who alone is able to estab-
lish I he work of your hands, to make you
rich, and to add no sorrow therewith ; for,
though your indefatigable industry should
heap up baskets full and barns full, yet, with-
out a heart devoted to your God, there is a
curse upon you, both in basket and in store.
The curse of the Lord is said to be in the
house of the wicked ; and this not only in
the dwellings of the profligate and the openly
profane, of those who cast off fear, and re-
166 CONCLUSION.
strain prayer before birn ; but of tboge, who,
ill the outward forms of religion, call upon
him with their lips, while their hearts are
far from him ; and of whom it may be said,
that he is not in all their thoughts. Of such
worship he complains, and compares it to
bringing the lame, the halt, and the blind,
for a sacrifice. ' Take them now to thy
governour,' says the offended Majesty of Hea-
ven, ' and see if he will accept them at thy
hands.' What blessings, on the contrary,
may not be showered down upon that taber-
nacle, which, when, it is first reared, is de-
voted to God ! The Lord blessed the house
of Obed-edom, when the ark had abode there
only a few months. And the pious inten-
tion of David to build a house to the Lord
God of Israel, was rewarded by a promise,
that the Lord would build him a house, that
he would preserve and bless his posterity if
they continued to walk in the ways of their
illustrious ancestors. Then think not your
CONCLUSION. 167
house furnished or complete till you have
reared in it an altar to the Lord ; till that
worship is established in it which He gra-
ciously approves. Morning and evening as-
semble your family together to solicit His
blessing, and say, ' Establish thou the work
of oar hands ; yea, the work of our hands
establish thou it.' O ! if the hearts of all
who bend the knee at such seasons were
ascending in devout aspirations, and not
wandering, as the fool's eye, to the ends of
the earth, what rich, what abundant blessings
might be anticipated ! ' Where two or three
are gathered together in my name,' says our
Saviour, ' there am I in the midst of them.'
There is He waitinsi; to be gracious, though
with our bodily eyes we cannot discern Him.
The Apostle James explains to us the rea-
son why our prayers avail so little. ' Ye
ask and receive not, because ye ask amiss.'
The prayer of the wicked, the supplication
of those who mock Him with a solemn sound
168 CONCLUSION.
upon a thoughtless tongue, the petitions of
such, He will not answer.
You perceive, then, my young friend, that
one thing is needful ; that the substance, as
well as the appearance of religion is neces-
sary to your prosperity, even in this world,
and how much more so with regard to that
which is to come ! Not that any are promis-
ed exemption from those afflictions, which
are the common lot of mankind. Even if
among his true disciples, you are expressly
warned by our Lord, that in the world you
shall have tribulation ; but it shall be admi-
nistered with a tender regard to your real
welfare ; and that portion, both of prosperity
and adversity, shall be measured out to you,
which shall eventually promote your eternal
interests. What your heavenly Father gives,
he will accompany with a blessing; what he
takes, he will amply compensate to you by
better and more durable substance.
CONCLUSION. 169
That you should be dilisfent in business,
has been the object of the foregoing; pages;
that you should be fervent in spirit serving
the Lord, is the design of those which fol-
low : and, for this purpose, let us see what
improvement can be extracted from some of
the common concerns and avocations of life ;
nor shall 1 be accused, in so doing, of sink-
ing beneath the dignity of a sacred subject.
Scriptures, with illustrations drawn from hum-
ble employments, and the commonest proces-
ses, and meanest implements, are selected to
exemplify important truths. The Prophet
Jeremiah foretold a national destruction by
the type of a decayed girdle; and the abso-
lute dominion of God over all nations, by
the similitude of a potter's vessel; by good
and bad figs, the restoration from captivity;
and by bonds and yokes, the important revo-
lutions that were to take place in the world.
Ezekiel, too, by a tile and a pan, by a vine
branch and \:\y sour grapes, predicted ^imilar
irO CONCLUSION.
events : and our Lord especially abounds in
dimilitudes of the most familiar nature. A
net, with fish of every kind, illustrates that
most solemn of all events, the final judgment.
Stewards, sowers, labourers, debtors, leaven
hidden in meal, a new piece in an old gar-
ment, lost sheep, pieces of silver, and even a
grain of mustard-seed; are severally employed
by him, and set an example which we need
not be afraid or ashamed to follow. Let us,
then, retrace the path we have trodden, and
see what further a<lvantage it may yield.
And if economy in worldly matters is in-
dispensible, of how much greater importance
must it be in ycur spiritual concerns ! The
days of our years are three score years and
ten. This, probably, will be all your portion
of time, and it may be of much shorter dura-
tion : even now, for any thing you can tell,
the Judge may be standing before the door.
With what parsimony, then, ought you to
husband the fleeting moments J Money lost
CONCLUSION. in
or squandered may be regained ; but time,
precious time, can never be recalled. It is
a treasure of inestimable value; a value, un-
like that of other treasures, enhanced by its
insignificance ; for, compared with eternity,
it is less than a drop to the ocean, than an
atom to the universe ; yet upon it your eter-
nal weal or wo depends. To have squan-
dered your whole substance upon the vainest
frivolities, would be wisdom, compared with
that infatuation which devotes every moment
of life to objects of which you must shortly
take an everlasting farewell. If pence accu-
mulate and become of value, listen to the
clock, and note the fleeting moments, how
rapidly do they amount to hours ; hours to
days, and days to months and years! How
swiftly do infancy, childhood, youth, and
maturity, succeed to each other, till that
period arrives, when all the vain amusements
of the world lose their altractions, when its
busy pursuits no longer interest, and the
172 CONCLUSION.
grasshopper becomes a burden ! It is "wise to
make temporal provision for such a period;
but awful will be the cnse of those, who,
when flesh and heart fail them, have no bet-
ter stores, than of corn, and wine, and oil :
these cannot support nature beyond the time
appointed for its continuance; neither can
they be carried wiih us into the unknown
land to which we go. Naked came we into
the world, and naked must we return : but
true religion [)rovides all that is needful and
suitable for the fainting travellers ; it supports
and comforts them in the dark valley, and
leads them on till the heavenly country
opens beyond.
Again, if that style of dress is justly cen-
sured that assumes the appearance of a rank,
to which we do not belong, may it not sug-
gest a caution against the false appearances
•which too many wear, who impose upon the
world by engaging manners, and put on the
look of sweetness or piety, while the internal
CONCLUSION. 173
principle is wanting: from which they should
proceed ; that principle which alone gives
vahje to the character, or which can satisfy
conscience, when the good opinion of the
world is hestowed. In vain, my young
frierul, do you make broad your phylacteries,
and enlarge the borders of your garments ;
if you are not what you appear to be, you
cannot deceive the penetrating eye of Him
who knows your heart, and cannot, like
ycmr fellow mortals, be misled by fair pro-
fessions, and the outwarti form of religion.
King David was so desirous of sincerity of
character, that, in the lany;uage of humility,
he appealed to the King of kings, an<l said,
* Search me, and try me, and see what evil
there is in me, and lead me in the way ever-
lasting.'
You may he disposed sometimes to exact
too much from your neighbours, by borrow-
ing of them what you should have taken
timely care to provide for yourself: remem-
174 CONCLUSION.
ber, upon such occasions, the parable of
those foolish virgins, who, on the sudden ap-
pearance of the bridegroom, said to their
companions, ' Give us of your oil.' Vain
request ! It must be by the reality of our
own religion, that we stand in that awful
and decisive day. The holiness of our hus-
bands, our parents, our dearest connexions,
though it might have proved extremely be-
neficial as an example, and have given au-
thority to their precepts, will not avail us
when the period arrives in which every one
is to be rewarded according to the deeds
done in the body. Isaac, Jacob, David,
Hezekiah, had irreligious children, the holi-
ness of whose ancestors could but aggravate
their guilt; and the awful line of separation
will finally be drawn between many a hus-
band and wife, a parent and child.
If the wholesome maxim of doing every
thing in i(s prot)er time, of applying every
thing to its proper use, and of keeping every
CONCLUSION. 175
thing in its proper place, were extended to
religion, how beneficial would be its influ-
ence ! There is a time for every work and
purpose under the sun : a time in which to
withdraw from the business and amusements
of the world, to commune with our own
hearts, and with Him who is acquainted with
all their most secret recesses, with Him who
will be found of those who diligently seek
him. There is a time — a day which he has
called peculiarly his own; — then would this
day he set apart to his service, and not de-
voted to the pursuits or the pleasures of the
world. Then, too, a portion of every day
would be consecrated to Him, whose mer-
cies are new every morning, and from whom
cometh every good and perfect gift. W all
things were applied to their proper use, much
that is expended upon a vain appearance,
or hoarded in the miser's coffers, would be
ditiused among the poor and needj"^, would
make the hearis of the widow and the orphan
176 CONCLUSION.
to rejoice; and much more would be devot-
ed to the nobler ends of instructing the igno-
rant, and propagating the Gospel of our Sa-
viour in the world. If, too, the heart were
kej)t in its proper place, we should find it fre-
quently in Heaven, where its treasure would
be; from the contem;.)lation of which it would
learn to estimate things according to their iu-
trifisick value, and cease to be captivated by
that which moths may corrupt, and thieves
break through to steal.
Those who have sufficient strength of mind
to dare to be singular, when worldly prudence
requires it, would do well to raise their cou-
rage to a higher pitch, and venture to be
religious, even in the midst of irreligious
connexions. The Apostle Paul exhorts the
Corinthians to come out and be separate.
This does not prohibit all intercourse with
the world; for then, as he observes, we must
needs go out of it ; but it should certainly de-
ter us from compliance with its sinful cus-
CONCLUSION. 177
toms, and restrict the choice of our compa-
nions to the few who also dare to be singular.
Have any a jealous sense of the services
and respect due to them froni their domes-
ticks ? By an easy transition may such be
reminded of the relation in which they stand
to their supreme Master and Lord. Should
they be blessed with faithful servants, giving
them due honour, promoting their interest,
and performing their services with willing
minds ; this cheerful obedience may become
a pattern for their own conduct towards a
higher authority, and they may be stimulated
to greater faithfulness and exertion in the
service of their divine Master. Even the
remissness and ingratitude of our servants
may furnish us with a lesson ; and while we
feel displeasure rising against them, we may
ask ourselves, if there is not One who is
punctual to His engagements, be our duties
ever so remissly performed ; whose mercies
are new every morning, and whose sun
12
ITS CONCLUSION.
shineth on the just and on tine unjust : though
finally He will reward every one according
to his works ? Happy are those, who, at the
end of their mortal career, can lie down in
the grave and say : ' I have accomplished, as
an hireling, my day,' — * I have finished the
work that was siven me to do.'
But if from the relation of master and ser-
vant we may derive such instructive lessons,
how much more impressive may they be
rendered, by contemplating ourselves in the
character of parents, whether we are provid-
ing for the present or future wants of our
children ; whether instructing or correcting
them, we may be reminded of the methods
of our heavenly Father with respect to us;
who himself adopts this illustration, and says,
that i( we, being evil, know how to give
good gifts to our children, much more will
He answer the prayers of those who call
U|)on Him for superiour bUssings. — While
we require implicit obedience to our dispo-
CONCLUSION. ir9
sal or commands, we are enforcing upon our-
selves the duty and advantage of a meek
submission and humble dependence upon
the universal parent of mankind. Those
Avho study their children's interest, by inur-
ing them to plain food and clothing, may
carry the same mode of reasoning a little
higher, and be satisfied with that mediocrity
of condition in which Providence may have
placed them. Give me neither poverty nor
riches, is a more comprehensive request,
than the proud, the covetous, or the ambi-
tious, are disposed to believe ; for it compri-
ses the sum of earthly felicity. — But there
have been those who, leaving this petition
far behind, have learned in whatsoever state
they were, therewith to be content : such,
like well disciplined children, do not choose
this or that; are not solicitous about what
they shall eat, or what they shall drink, or
wherewithal they shall be clothed : but they
thankfully receive the allotment of their
180 CONCLUSION.
heavenly Father, who is too wise to err, and
too good willingly to afflict or grieve his
children.
Hints for the sick chamber occupy a few
of the former pages ; a view of human nature
in that state of suffering debility, is calculat-
ed to call forth every tender and sympathe-
tick feeling; but here, as in most other
cases, good may be extracted from evil, and
improvement may be derived from scenes of
distress When the whole head is sick, and
the whole heart is faint ; when wounds and
bruises render the body offensive or loath-
some ; we are warranted by Scripture to re-
gard it as an emblem of a diseased and irre-
ligious soul : this is the metaphor by which
those are described who live without God
in the world. — Such, in whatever estimation
they may be held for wisdom and sanity of
mind, are indeed suffering a delirium of the
most destructive nature ; they are harbouring
a thousand extravagant fancies, and practis-
CONCLUSION. 181
in§ a succession of the grossest follies. The
language of Scripture describes them as for-
saking the fountain of living water, and
hewing out to themselves cisterns, broken
cisterns, that can hold no water. When
urged by their own consciences, or by others,
to the performance of religious duties, they
fancy a lion in the way, and that they shall
be slain in the streets ; they grope, as in
darkness, at noon-day, and they call evil
good and good evil. Perhaps while every
means is used which skill or affection can
devise for the recovery of the body, these
more important symptoms are viewed with
indifference, or treated with neglect ; these
wounds are not closed, nor bound up, nor
mollified with ointment ; yet there is balm
in Gilead, there is a Physician there ; and
He, who is skilful in removing this spiritual
delirium, has left us every direction that we
need. — Those unhappy patients might be re-
minded, who, and where, and for what they
182 CONCLUSION.
are; reminded, too, what time of the day it
is — if in the morning of life, they might be
urged to insure its nllim»te prosperily, by
devoting themselves to the service of their
Creator, now in the season of youth, while
the evil days come nof, nor the years draw
nigh, in which they shall say, they have no
pleasure in them. If life is in its meridian,
a hint might be given, that many as bright a
sun has gone down at noon. The aged might
be warned, that it is the eleventh hour, and
high time for them to awake out of sleep ;
that now the time past must have been suffi-
cient to have wrought the will of the Gen-
tiles. And if such ideas have never occur-
red, or been suggested before, in the sick
chamber their importance is enhanced. When
the world is receding from our view, what
but real religion is likely to produce that
meekness and patience which compose even
the bodily frame ? what is there upon which
the mind can rest, when, from pain and an-
CONCLUSION. 183
guish, the morning cry is, ' Would God it
were even !' and the evening, ' Would God
it were morning !' What consolation, when
flesh and heart fail, can be devised, if God
be not the strength of the heart, and the por-
tion for ever ? In the sick chamber the se-
verest measures are often prescribed, and the
sharpest pains inflicted, to promote recovery ;
yet it is there, too, that, after all have prov-
ed inefifectual, the only means are withheld
which could, in such hopeless circumstances,
afford relief — withheld, from the cruel fear of
exciting alarm t Thus many a one, totally
unprepared for another world, is suffered to
launch away, and to pass that gulf which
will for ever prevent his return to afford
those salutary warnings to his brethren, of
which he had been deprived.
Habits of observation are recommended
in our temporal concerns ; but w hat ample
field and inducement has the Christian to re-
flect and observe ! Prosperity and adversity,
184 CONCLUSION.
whether sustained by himself or others, afford
equal materials, and may alike be turned to
good account. ' Whoso is wise, and will
observe these things, even he shall see the
loving kindness of the Lord.' He looks
back, and the design of many a mysterious
providence is unfolded.
Hopes, blighted by a Father's care,
Perchance to save him from despair :
And fears, whose giant armies fled,
Dispell'd by Faith's courageous tread.
And thus, to him, tribulation worketh pa-
tience; and patience, experience; and expe-
rience, hope. To him these words of the
Apostle are addressed : ' All things are yours,
whether life or death, or things present, or
^ things to come.'
Whatever may be our habits and propen-
sities now, we all hope to arrive at that ha-
bitation, where we shall go no more out.
And, as the church below is an emblem of
CONCLUSION. 185
that above, we should do well, as far as we
are able, to preserve this part of the resem-
blance. When, therefore, my dear reader,
Providence or choice has cast your lot ia
any particular society of Christians, where
the gospel is faithfully preached, and those
ordinances are administered which your
judgment approves as the institutions of
Heaven : ' Into whatsoever house ye enter,
there abide, go not from house to bouse;'
be not seduced by itching ears, by vain
curiosity, or a fastidious spirit. If your do-
mestick concerns would suffer from your fre-
quent absence, the religious society to which
you belong is injured in a proportionate de-
gree by similar conduct. No love for your
spiritual teachers ; no Christian fellowship
among brethren, which is the cement of eve-
ry church, could exist, if all were thus guilty :
and yet all have an equal right. It is those
who are planted in the house of the Lord,
that flourish ia the courts of our God, while
186 CONCLUSION.
the most vigorous growth will droop and
decay in repeated removal from one soil to
another. Nor is ariy one too insignificant
to be useful ; every pin of the tabernacle had
its design, and could not be removed without
endangering the whole. Consider yourself
as one part of the church to which you he-
long; and be as anxious to promote its inte-
rests, to preserve order and regularity in all
its members, yourself especially, as you are
to maintain it in your household. A woman
is not permitted to speak in the church, but
she may render it as much service as many
who do, by her constant attendance ; by the
example of her chaste conversation, coupled
with fear; and by that meek and quiet spirit,
which, in the sight of Gou, is of great price.
— Habits of constant and regular attendance
have also the most beneficial effects upon
the rising generation. Children who, in imi-
tation of their parents, are accustomed to
wander from place to place, will be in dan-
CONCLUSION. 187
ger, as they can possess no particular attach-
ment to any, of frequenting none at all : hav-
ing never been (aught to esteem their spiri-
tual pastors very highly for their work's
sake, it will not !)e strange, or uncommon, if
in process of time they undervalue the work
itself, and become indifferent about religion.
To your husband I have addressed a few
\Yord9 ; that being, with whom you must
travel in company through all the intricate
windings of this mortal life. — Whether you
rise to an eminence, and find yourselves ex-
alted above many ; or whether you descend
into the vale, or traverse the rugged or dan-
gerous road, you have sworn to travel toge-
ther. The laws of God and man have unit-
ed you in indissoluble bonds ; but there is an
enemy who will one daj^ with relentless
hand, cut them in sunder. You must part !
ah ! you must part ! And should you be the
survivor, a severer trial cannot befall you,
than when the endeared companion of so
188 CONCLUGION.
many interesting events, the participator iu
every joy and every sorrow, the desire of
your eyes, the better half of yourself, is taken
away with a stroke ! Where real affection
bas existed, fouuded upon esteem, it is a
breach that is not soon or easily repaired.
Yet there are consolations even here. That
divine promise has frequently been applied
as a cordial to the drooping spirits, ' Thy
Maker is thy husband; the Lord of Hosts is
his name :' and, ' Leave thy fatherless chil-
dren, and let thy widows trust in Me ;' has
been felt of greater value, in such circum-
stances, than the most ample provision. But
additional consolation may be derived from
a retrospect of your own conduct; when the
remembrance of past proofs of love, of en-
dearments now for ever ceased, would rend
your heart ; your sorrows may be mitigated,
if you are able to re8ect ui»on a life of consis-
tent affection, of faithful services, of tender
attachment and unceasing solicitude to pro-
co'ffCLUsioir. 189
mote his happiness : and if, in the prospect
of the parting scene, he could adopt the lan-
guage of Christian affection, and say,
' Whene'er it comes, raay'st thou he by,
Support ray sinking frame, and teach me how to die :
Banish desponding nature's gloom,
Make me to hope a gentler doom,
And (ix me all ou joys to come.
The ghastly-form will have a pleasing air,
And all things smile while heaven and thou art there.'
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