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NY PUBLIC LIBRARY THE BRANCH LIBRARIES
3 3333 08102 8843
jOVEBSIZS | SPECIAL Ea
45185
(3
Q^lality Street
Copyrighted, for the stage, by Charles Frohman, in
England and in America, 1901, and ptr/ormed by
Miss Maude Adams as 'Phoebe Throssel1 500 times
PHOEBE
Sergeant, I am wishful to scold you, but
would you be so obliging as to stand on
tJiis paper while I do it?
ASTQR, LE"'JX AND
TILDE
\
Illustrations in Colour
ACT I
The Blue and White Room
PHOEBE
Sergeant, I am wishful to scold you, but would
you be so obliging as to stand on this paper-
while I doit? Page 14 . . Frontispiece
Page
Now and again ladies pass in their pattens, a
maid perhaps protecting them with an
umbrella, for flakes of snow are falling
discreetly. Page 3 . 3
iii
Qiiality Street
Page
Miss Fanny is reading aloud from a library
book while the others sew or knit. Page 4 6
MISS WILLOUGHBY
We are known everywhere now, Susan, you
and /, as the old maids of Quality Street.
Page 7 . . . . .10
MISS SUSAN
/ think I hear their voices in dispute. Page 12 14
PHOEBE
You know koiv gallantly he swings his cane.
Page 21. . . . .16
PHOEBE
He is absolutely fearless. Susan, he has smoked
his pipe in this room. Page 26 . . 24
PHOEBE
It was raining, and my face was wet. Page 31 32
iv
Quality Street
VALENTINE
Page
To see her on lier knees decorating the little
legs of the couch with frills as if it were a
child! Page 38 . . . .40
ACT II
The School
Miss Phoebe is giving a dancing lesson to half
a dozen pupils, and is doing her very best.
Page 49 . . . .48
PHOEBE
Unhappy boy — Are you ashamed of yourself ?
Page 53 . 56
ARTHUR
If any boy says you cant cane I will blood him,
Miss Phoebe. Page 56 . .64
Quality Street
Page
A soldier with a girl passes — yokel follows
angrily. Page 58 . . . .72
Patty ushers in the sisters Willoughby and
Miss Henrietta. Miss Henrietta is wear-
ing the new veil, which opens or closes like
curtains when she pulls a string. Page 93 80
MISS WILLOUGHBY
We shall probably spend the evening here with
Miss Susan at the card table. Page 95 88
ACT III
The Ball
There is coming and going through this
opening, and also through slits in the
canvas. Page 103 . . .104
Ensign Blades appears, frowning, and Char-
lotte ventures to touch his sleeve. Page 107 112
vi
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
Page
They have suspected for a week. Page 1 16 . 120
PHOEBE
As soon as you see a lady with a pretty nose
you cannot help saying that you adore her.
Page 129 . . . . . .128
ACT IV
The Blue and White Room
VALENTINE
/ regret that they are out, Patty, but I will
await their return. Page 163 . . 160
Miss Henrietta and Miss Fanny, encouraged
by his sympathy, draw nearer the door of
the interesting bed-chamber. Page 176 . 168
VALENTINE
She will recover. Page 186 . . . 176
s
vil
CHARACTERS
VALENTINE BROWN
ENSIGN BLADES
LIEUTENANT SPICER
A RECRUITING SERGEANT
MASTER ARTHUR WELLESLEY TOMSON
ISABELLA
MISS SUSAN THROSSEL
MISS PHOEBE THROSSEL
MISS WILLOUGHBY
MISS FANNY WILLOUGHBY
MISS HENRIETTA TURNBULL
MISS CHARLOTTE PARRATT
PATTY
'
Now and again ladles pass in their pattens,
a maid perhaps protecting them with an
umbrella, for flakes of snow are falling
discreetly
Act I
THE BLUE AND WHITE ROOM
THE scene is the blue and white room in the house of
the Misses Susan and Phoebe Throssel in Quality
Street; and in this little country town there is a
satisfaction about living in Quality Street which even
religion cannot give. Through the bowed window
at the back we have a glimpse of the street. It is
pleasantly broad and grass-grown, and is linked to
the outer world by one demure shop, whose door
rings a bell every time it opens and shuts. Tims by
merely peeping, every one in Quality Street can know
at once who has been buying a Whimsy cake, and
usually why. This bell is the most familiar sound
of Quality Street. Now and again ladies pass in
their pattens, a maid perhaps protecting them with an
umbrella, for flakes of snow are falling discreetly.
Gentlemen in the street are an event ; but, see, just
as we raise the curtain, there goes the recruiting
sergeant to remind us that we are in the period of the
Napoleonic wars. If he were to look in at the window
of the blue and white room all the ladies there
assembled would draw themselves up ; they know him
for a rude fellow vjho smiles at the approach of
3
Quality Street [ACT
maiden Lidies and continues to smile after they have
passed. However, he lowers his head to-day so that
they shall not see him, his present design being con-
verse with the Misses ThrosseTs maid.
The room is one seldom profaned by the foot of
man, and everything in it is white or bhte. Miss
Phoebe is not present, but here are Miss Susan,
Miss IVilloughby and her sister Miss Fanny, and
Miss Henrietta Turnbnll. Miss Susan and Miss
IVilloughby, alas, already wear caps ; but all the four
are dear ladies, so refined that we ought not to be
discussing them without a more formal introduction,
and there seems no sufficient reason why -we should
choose Miss Phoebe as our heroine rather than any
one of the others, except, perhaps, that we like her
name best. But we gave her the name, so we must
support our choice and say that she is slightly the
nicest, unless, indeed, Miss Susan is nicer.
Miss Fanny is rending aloud from a library book
while the others sew or knit. They are making
garments for otir brave soldiers now far away fighting
the Corsica n Ogre.
MISS FANNY
'. . . And so the day passed and evening
came, black, mysterious, and ghost-like. The
wind moaned unceasingly like a shivering
spirit, and the vegetation rustled uneasily as
if something weird and terrifying were about
4
i.] Quality Street
to happen. Suddenly out of the darkness
there emerged a Man.
(She says the last word tremulously but
without looking up. The listeners
knit more quickly.}
The unhappy Camilla was standing lost in
reverie when, without pausing to advertise her
of his intentions, he took both her hands in
his.
(By this tune the knitting has stopped,
and all are listening as if mes-
merised.}
Slowly he gathered her in his arms —
(MISS SUSAN gives an excited little
cry.}
MISS FANNY
And rained hot, burning-
Miss WILLOUGHBY
Sister 1
MISS FANNY
(Greedily} ' On eyes, mouth, '
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(Sternly] Stop.
Miss Susan, I am indeed surprised you
5
Quality Street [ACT
should bring such an amazing, indelicate tale
from the library.
MISS SUSAN
(With a slight shudder) I deeply regret, Miss
Willoughby (Sees MISS FANNY reading
quickly to herself?) Oh, Fanny ! If you please,
my dear. (Takes the book gently from her]
MISS WILLOUGHBY
I thank you. (She knits severely?)
MISS FANNY (a little rebel]
Miss Susan is looking at the end. (MISS
SUSAN closes the book guiltily]
MISS SUSAN
(Apologetically] Forgive my partiality for
romance, Mary. I fear 'tis the mark of an old
maid.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
Susan, that word.
MISS SUSAN
(Sweetly] Tis what I am. And you also,
Mary, my dear.
6
i.] Quality Street
MISS FANNY
(Defending her sister) Miss Susan, I protest.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(Sternly truthful} Nay, sister, 'tis true. We
are known everywhere now, Susan, you and I,
as the old maids of Quality Street. (General
discomfort}
MISS SUSAN
I am happy Phoebe will not be an old
maid.
MISS HENRIETTA
(Wistfully) Do you refer, Miss Susan, to
V. B. ? (MISS SUSAN smiles happily to herself}
MISS SUSAN
Miss Phoebe of the ringlets as he has called
her.
MISS FANNY
Other females besides Miss Phoebe have
ringlets.
MISS SUSAN
But you and Miss Henrietta have to employ
papers, my dear. (Proudly) Phoebe, never.
7
Quality Street [ACT
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(/// defence of Fanny] I do not approve of
Miss Phoebe at all.
MISS SUSAN
(Flushing} Mary, had Phoebe been dying
you would have called her an angel, but that
is ever the way. Tis all jealousy to the bride
and good wishes to the corpse. (Her guests
rise, hurt.} My love, I beg your pardon.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
With your permission, Miss Susan, I shall
put on my pattens.
(MISS SUSAN gives permission almost
haughtily, and the ladies retire to
the bedroom, MISS FANNY remaining
behind a moment to ask a question}
MISS FANNY
A bride? Miss Susan, do you mean that
V. B. has declared ?
MISS SUSAN
Fanny, I expect it hourly.
8
i.] Quality Street
(MISS SUSAN, left alone, is agitated by the
terrible scene with MISS WILLOUGHBY.)
Enter PHOEBE /;/ her bonnet, and we see at
once tliat s/ie really is the nicest. S/ie is
so flushed with delightful news tliat she
a /most forgets to take off her pattens before
crossing the blue and white room.
MISS SUSAN
You seem strangely excited, Phoebe.
PHOEBE
Susan, I have met a certain individual.
MISS SUSAN
V. B. ? (PHOEBE nods several times, and
her gleaming eyes tell MISS SUSAN as much
as if they were a romance from the library.}
My dear, you are trembling.
PHOEBE
(Bravely) No — oh no.
MISS SUSAN
You put your hand to your heart.
B Q
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
Did I?
MISS SUSAN
(In a whisper) My love, has he offered ?
PHOEBE
(Appalled] Oh, Susan.
Enter MISS WILLOUGHBY, partly cloaked.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
How do you do, Miss Phoebe? (Porten-
tously] Susan, I have no wish to alarm you,
but I am of opinion that there is a man in the
house. I suddenly felt it while putting on my
pattens.
MISS SUSAN
You mean — a follower — in the kitchen?
(She courageously rings the bell, but her voice
falters] I am just a little afraid of Patty.
Enter PATTY, a buxom young woman, who
loves her mistresses and smiles at them, and
knows how to terrorise them.
Patty, I hope we may not hurt your feelings,
but-
10
MlSS WlLLOUGHBY
We are known everywhere >ioiv, Susan, you
(ind /, (is the old maids of duality Street
i.] Quality Street
PATTY
(Sternly!} Are you implicating, ma'am, that I
have a follower ?
.MISS SUSAN
Oh no, Patty.
PATTY
So be it.
MISS SUSAN
(Ashamed] Patty, come back. (Humbly] I
told a falsehood just now ; I am ashamed of
myself.
PATTY
(Severely] As well you might be, ma'am.
PHOEBE
(So roused that site would look heroic if she
did not spoil the effect by wagging Jier finger
at PATTY) How dare you. There is a man
in the kitchen. To the door with him.
PATTY
A glorious soldier to be so treated !
PHOEBE
The door.
PATTY
And if he refuses ? (They look perplexed]
1 1
Quality Street [ACTI.
MISS SUSAN
Oh dear !
PHOEBE
If he refuses send him here to me.
(Exit PATTY.
MISS SUSAN
Lion-hearted Phoebe.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
A soldier. (Nervously] I wish it may not
be that impertinent recruiting sergeant. I
passed him in the street to-day. He closed
one of his eyes at me and then quickly opened
it. I knew what he meant.
PHOEBE
He does not come.
MISS SUSAN
I think I hear their voices in dispute.
(S/ie is listening through the floor. They
all stoop or go on knees to listen, and
when they are in this position the
RECRUITING SERGEANT enters imob-
served. He chuckles aloud. In a
moment PHOEBE is alone with him.}
12
That impertinent recruiting sergeant
SERGEANT
an Irish accent} Your servant,
ma am.
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
(Advancing sternly on hint) Sir — (She
is perplexed, as lie seems undismayed^ Ser-
geant (She sees mud from his boots on the
carpet?) Oh ! oh ! (Brushes carpet.} Sergeant,
I am wishful to scold you, but would you be
so obliging as to stand on this paper while I
do it?
SERGEANT
With all the pleasure in life, ma'am.
PHOEBE
(Forgetting to be angry] Sergeant, have you
killed people?
SERGEANT
Dozens, ma'am, dozens.
PHOEBE
How terrible. Oh, sir, I pray every night
that the Lord in His loving-kindness will root
the enemy up. Is it true that the Corsican
Ogre eats babies ?
SERGEANT
I have spoken with them as have seen him
do it, ma'am.
JESJ81
Miss SUSAN
/ hear their voices in dispute
i.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
The Man of Sin. Have you ever seen a
vivandiere, sir ? (Wistfully'] I have sometimes
wished there were vivandieres in the British
Army. (For a moment she sees herself as one,}
Oh, Sergeant, a shudder goes through me when
I see you in the streets enticing those poor
young men.
SERGEANT
If you were one of them, ma'am, and death
or glory was the call, you would take the
shilling, ma'am.
PHOEBE
Oh, not for that.
SERGEANT
For King and Country, ma'am?
PHOEBE
(Grandly] Yes, yes, for that.
SERGEANT
(Candidly] Not that it is all fighting. The
sack of captured towns — the loot.
15
Oitality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
(Proudly] An English soldier never sacks
nor loots.
SERGEANT
No, ma'am. And then — the girls.
PHOEBE
What girls ?
SERGEANT
In the towns that — that we don't sack.
PHOEBE
How they must hate the haughty conqueror.
SERGEANT
We are not so haughty as all that.
PHOEBE
(Sadly) I think I understand. I am afraid,
Sergeant, you do not tell those poor young
men the noble things I thought you told them.
SERGEANT
Ma'am, I must e'en tell them what they are
wishful to hear. There ha' been five, ma'am,
16
!
HOEBE
Tun
•:;' giilliinth lie swings his cane
I
i.] O^lal^ty Street
all this week, listening to me and then showing
me their heels, but by a grand stroke of luck
I have them at last.
PHOEBE
Luck?
(MISS SUSAN opens door slightly and
listens?)
SERGEANT
The luck, ma'am, is that a gentleman of the
town has enlisted. That gave them the push
forward .
(MISS SUSAN is excited^]
PHOEBE
A gentleman of this town enlisted ?
(Eagerly] Sergeant, who?
SERGEANT
Nay, ma'am, I think it be a secret as yet.
PHOEBE
But a gentleman ! Tis the most amazing,
exciting thing. Sergeant, be so obliging.
SERGEANT
Nay, ma'am, I can't.
c 17
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
(At door, carried away by excitement} But
you must, you must !
SERGEANT
(Turning to door) You see, ma'am (The
door is hurriedly closed^]
PHOEBE
(Ashamed] Sergeant, I have not been say-
ing the things I meant to say to you. Will
you please excuse my turning you out of the
house somewhat violently.
SERGEANT
I am used to it, ma'am.
PHOEBE
I won't really hurt you.
SERGEANT
Thank you kindly, ma'am.
PHOEBE
(Observing the bedroom door opening a little,
and speaking in a loud voice] I protest, sir ;
18
i.] Quality Street
we shall permit no followers in this house.
Should I discover you in my kitchen again I
shall pitch you out — neck and crop. Begone,
sir.
(The SERGEANT retires affably. All
tlie ladies except MISS HENRIETTA
come out, admiring PHOEBE. TJie
WILLOUGHBYS are attired for their
journey across the street?)
MISS WILLOUGHBY
Miss Phoebe, we could not but admire you.
(PHOEBE, alas, knows tliat slie is not
admirable?)
PHOEBE
But the gentleman recruit ?
MISS SUSAN
Perhaps they will know who he is at the
woollen-drapers.
MISS FANNY
Let us inquire.
(But before tJtey go MISS WILLOUGHBY
has a duty to perform?)
19
Quality Street [ACT
MISS WILLOUGHBY
I wish to apologise. Miss Phoebe, you are
a dear, good girl. If I have made remarks
about her ringlets, Susan, it was jealousy.
(PHOEBE and MISS SUSAN wish to embrace her,
but site is not in the mood for it.} Come,
sister.
MISS FANNY (the dear woman that sJie is]
Phoebe, dear, I wish you very happy.
(PHOEBE presses her hand.}
MISS HENRIETTA
(Entering, and not to be outdone} Miss
Phoebe, I give you joy.
(The three ladies go, the two younger
ones a little tearfully, and we see them
pass the window?)
PHOEBE
(Pained} Susan, you have been talking to
them about V. B.
MISS SUSAN
I could not help it. (Eagerly} Now, Phoebe,
what is it you have to tell me?
20
Quality Street
PHOEBE
(/;/ a low voice] Dear, I think it is too holy
to speak of.
MISS SUSAN
To your sister ?
PHOEBE
Susan, as you know, I was sitting with an
unhappy woman whose husband has fallen in
the war. When I came out of the cottage lie
was passing.
MISS SUSAN
Yes?
PHOEBE
He offered me his escort. At first he was
very silent — as he has often been of late.
MISS SUSAN
We know why.
PHOEBE
Please not to say that I know why. Suddenly
he stopped and swung his cane. You know
how gallantly he swings his cane.
MISS SUSAN
Yes, indeed.
21
Tliey art interrupted by the entrance sf Patty with tea
ACT i.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
He said: ' I have something I am wishful to
tell you, Miss Phoebe ; perhaps you can guess
what it is.'
MISS SUSAN
Go on I
PHOEBE
To say I could guess, sister, would have
been unladylike. I said : ' Please not to tell
me in the public thoroughfare ' ; to which he
instantly replied : 'Then I shall call and tell
you this afternoon.'
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe !
(They are interrupted by the entrance
of PATTY luitJi tea. They see that
site has brought three cups, and know
that this is her impertinent way of
implying that mistresses, as well as
maids, may Jiave a 'follower' W 'hen
she has gone they smile at the daring
of the woman, and sit down to tea.}
PHOEBE
Susan, to think that it has all happened
in a single year.
23
Quality Street [ACTI.
MISS SUSAN
Such a genteel competency as he can offer ;
such a desirable establishment.
PHOEBE
I had no thought of that, dear. I was
recalling our first meeting at Mrs. Fotherin-
gay's quadrille party.
MISS SUSAN
We had quite forgotten that our respected
local physician was growing elderly.
PHOEBE
Until he said : 'Allow me to present my new
partner, Mr. Valentine Brown.'
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, do you remember how at the tea-
table he facetiously passed the cake-basket
with nothing in it !
PHOEBE
He was so amusing from the first. I am
thankful, Susan, that I too have a sense of
humour. I am exceedingly funny at times ;
am I not, Susan ?
24
PHOEBE
He is absolutely fearless. SusiW, he /his
smoked his pipe in this room
Our first meeting at Mrs. Fotheringay'i quadrille party
MISS SUSAN
Yes, indeed. But he sees humour in the
most unexpected things. I say something so
ordinary about loving, for instance, to have
everything either blue or white in this room,
and I know not why he laughs, but it makes
me feel quite witty.
PHOEBE
(A little anxiously] I hope he sees nothing
odd or quaint about us.
D 25
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
My dear, I am sure he cannot.
PHOEBE
Susan, the picnics.
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, the day when he first drank tea
in this house.
PHOEBE
He invited himself.
MISS SUSAN
He merely laughed when I said it would
cause such talk.
PHOEBE
He is absolutely fearless. Susan, he has
smoked his pipe in this room. (They are both
a little scared?)
MISS SUSAN
Smoking is indeed a dreadful habit.
PHOEBE
But there is something so dashing about it.
26
i.] Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
(IVith melancholy] And now I am to be left
alone.
PHOEBE
No.
MISS SUSAN
My dear, I could not leave this room. My
lovely blue and white room. It is my
husband.
PHOEBE
{IVho has become agitated] Susan, you
must make my house your home. I have
something distressing to tell you.
MISS SUSAN
You alarm me.
PHOEBE
You know Mr. Brown advised us how to
invest half of our money.
MISS SUSAN
I know it gives us eight per cent, though
why it should do so I cannot understand, but
very obliging, I am sure.
27
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
Susan, all that money is lost ; I had the
letter several days ago.
MISS SUSAN
Lost?
PHOEBE
Something burst, dear, and then they
absconded.
MISS SUSAN
But Mr. Brown
PHOEBE
I have not advertised him of it yet, for he
will think it was his fault. But I shall tell
him to-day.
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, how much have we left ?
PHOEBE
Only sixty pounds a year, so you see you
must live with us, dearest.
MISS SUSAN
But Mr. Brown — he
28
Quality Street
PHOEBE
(Grandly^] He is a man of means, and if he
is not proud to have my Susan I shall say
at once: ' Mr. Brown — the door.' (She presses
her cheek to MISS SUSAN'S.)
MISS SUSAN
(Softly] Phoebe, I have a wedding gift for
you.
PHOEBE
Not yet ?
MISS SUSAN
It has been ready for a long time. I began
it when you were not ten years old and I was
a young woman. I meant it for myself,
Phoebe. I had hoped that he — his name was
William — but I think I must have been too
unattractive, my love.
PHOEBE
Sweetest — dearest -
MISS SUSAN
I always associate it with a sprigged
poplin I was wearing that summer, with a
29
Quality Street [ACT
breadth of coloured silk in it, being a naval
officer; but something happened, a Miss Cicely
Pemberton, and they are quite big boys now.
So long ago, Phoebe — he was very tall, with
brown hair — it was most foolish of me, but
I was always so fond of sewing — with long
straight legs and such a pleasant expression.
PHOEBE
Susan, what was it ?
MISS SUSAN
It was a wedding-gown, my dear. Even
plain women, Phoebe, we can't help it ; when
we are young we have romantic ideas just as
if we were pretty. And so the wedding-gown
was never used. Long before it was finished
I knew he would not offer, but I finished it,
and then I put it away. I have always hidden
it from you, Phoebe, but of late I have brought
it out again, and altered it. (SJie goes to
ottoman and unlocks it.}
PHOEBE
Susan, I could not wear it. (MISS SUSAN
brings the wedding-gown.} Oh I how sweet,
how beautiful !
30
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
You will wear it, my love, won't you ? And
the tears it was sewn with long ago will all
turn into smiles on my Phoebe's wedding day.
(They are tearfully happy when a knock
is heard on the street door.}
PHOEBE
That knock.
MISS SUSAN
So dashing.
PHOEBE
So imperious. (She is suddenly panic-
stricken.} Susan, I think he kissed me once.
MISS SUSAN
(Startled} You think ?
PHOEBE
I know he did. That evening — a week ago,
when he was squiring me home from the
concert. It was raining, and my face was wet ;
he said that was why he did it.
MISS SUSAN
Because your face was wet ?
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
It does not seem a sufficient excuse now.
MISS SUSAN
(Appalled] O Phoebe, before he had offered.
PHOEBE
(/// distress] I fear me it was most unlady-
like.
(VALENTINE BROWN is shown in. He is
a frank, genial young man of twenty-
jive who honestly admires tJie ladies,
though lie is amused by their quaint-
ness. He is modestly aware that in
the blue and white room alone is he
esteemed a wit.]
BROWN
Miss Susan, how do you do, ma'am ? Nay,
Miss Phoebe, though we have met to-day
already I insist on shaking hands with you
again.
MISS SUSAN
Always so dashing.
(VALENTINE laugJis and the ladies ex-
cJiange delighted smiles.}
32
PHOEBE
// tvas raining, and my face was wet
\
i.] Quality Street
VALENTINE
(To MISS SUSAN) And my other friends, I
hope I find them in health? The spinet,
ma'am, seems quite herself to-day ; I trust the
ottoman passed a good night ?
MISS SUSAN
(Beaming] We are all quite well, sir.
VALENTINE
May I sit on this chair, Miss Phoebe? I
know Miss Susan likes me to break her chairs.
MISS SUSAN
Indeed, sir, I do not. Phoebe, how strange
that he should think so.
PHOEBE
(Instantly] The remark was humorous, was
it not ?
VALENTINE
How you see through me, Miss Phoebe.
(The sisters again exchange delighted
smiles. VALENTINE is about to take
a seat]
E 33
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
(Thinking alottd] Oh dear, I feel sure he is
going to roll the coverlet into a ball and then
sit on it.
(VALENTINE, who has been on the point
of doing so, abstains and sits guiltily?)
VALENTINE
So I am dashing, Miss Susan ? Am I
dashing, Miss Phoebe?
PHOEBE
A— little, I think.
VALENTINE
Well, but I have something to tell you to-day
which I really think is rather dashing. (MISS
SUSAN gathers her knitting, looks at PHOEBE,
and is preparing to go.} You are not going,
ma'am, before you know what it is?
MISS SUSAN
I — I — indeed — to be sure — I — I know, Mr.
Brown.
PHOEBE
Susan !
34
i.] Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
I mean I do not know. I mean I can guess
— I mean Phoebe, my love, explain. (She
goes out.}
VALENTINE
(Rather disappointed] The explanation be-
ing, I suppose, that you both know, and I
had flattered myself 'twas such a secret. Am
I then to understand that you had foreseen
it all, Miss Phoebe?
PHOEBE
Nay, sir, you must not ask that.
VALENTINE
I believe in any case 'twas you who first put
it into my head.
PHOEBE
(Aghast] Oh, I hope not.
VALENTINE
Your demure eyes flashed so every time the
war was mentioned ; the little Quaker sud-
denly looked like a gallant boy in ringlets.
(A dread comes over PHOEBE, but it is
in her heart alone ; it sJwws neither
in face nor voice]
35
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
Mr. Brown, what is it you have to tell us ?
VALENTINE
That I have enlisted, Miss Phoebe. Did
you surmise it was something else?
PHOEBE
You are going to the wars? Mr. Brown, is
it a jest ?
VALENTINE
It would be a sorry jest, ma'am. I thought
you knew. I concluded that the recruiting
sergeant had talked.
PHOEBE
The recruiting sergeant ? I see.
VALENTINE
These stirring times, Miss Phoebe — he is
but half a man who stays at home. I have
chafed for months. I want to see whether
I have any courage, and as to be an army
surgeon does not appeal to me, it was enlist
or remain behind. To-day I found that there
were five waverers. I asked them would they
take the shilling if I took it, and they assented.
36
i.] Quality Street
Miss Phoebe, it is not one man I give to the
King, but six.
PHOEBE
(Brightly] I think you have done bravely.
VALENTINE
We leave shortly for the Petersburgh
barracks, and I go to London to-morrow ;
so this is good-bye.
PHOEBE
I shall pray that you may be preserved in
battle, Mr. Brown.
VALENTINE
And you and Miss Susan will write to me
when occasion offers ?
PHOEBE
If you wish it.
VALENTINE
(Smiling) With all the stirring news of
Quality Street.
PHOEBE .
It seems stirring to us ; it must have been
merely laughable to you, who came here from
a great city.
37
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
Dear Quality Street — that thought me
dashing I But I made friends in it, Miss
Phoebe, of two very sweet ladies.
PHOEBE
(Timidly] Mr. Brown, I wonder why you
have been so kind to my sister and me?
VALENTINE
The kindness was yours. If at first Miss
Susan amused me (Chuckling] To see
her on her knees decorating the little legs of the
couch with frills as if it were a child ! But it
was her sterling qualities that impressed me
presently.
PHOEBE
And did — did I amuse you also?
VALENTINE
Prodigiously, Miss Phoebe. Those other
ladies, they were always scolding you, your
youthfulness shocked them. I believe they
thought you dashing.
38
Quality Street
PHOEBE
(Nervously] I have sometimes feared that I
was perhaps too dashing.
VALENTINE
(Laughing at this) You delicious Miss
Phoebe. You were too quiet. I felt sorry
that one so sweet and young should live so
grey a life. I wondered whether I could put
any little pleasures into it.
PHOEBE
The picnics ? It was very good of you.
VALENTINE
That was only how it began, for soon I
knew that it was I who got the pleasures and
you who gave them. You have been to me,
Miss Phoebe, like a quiet, old-fashioned garden
full of the flowers that Englishmen love best
because they have known them longest : the
daisy, that stands for innocence, and the
hyacinth for constancy, and the modest violet
and the rose. When I am far away, ma'am,
I shall often think of Miss Phoebe's pretty
39
Quality Street [ACT
soul, which is her garden, and shut my eyes
and walk in it.
(She is smiling gallantly tlirough her
pain when MISS SUSAN returns.}
MISS SUSAN
Have you — is it — you seem so calm, Phoebe.
PHOEBE
(Pressing Jier Jiand warningly and implor-
ingly] Susan, what Mr. Brown is so obliging
as to inform us of is not what we expected —
not that at all. My dear, he is the gentleman
who has enlisted, and he came to tell us that
and to say good-bye.
MISS SUSAN
Going away ?
PHOEBE
Yes, dear.
VALENTINE
Am I not the ideal recruit, ma'am : a man
without a wife or a mother or a sweetheart ?
MISS SUSAN
No sweetheart ?
40
VALENTINE
To see her on her knees decorating the little
legs of the couch with frills as if it were
,/ child!
i.] Quality Street
VALENTINE
Have you one for me, Miss Susan?
PHOEBE
(Hastily, lest her sister's face should betray
the truth] Susan, we shall have to tell him
now. You dreadful man, you will laugh and
say it is just like Quality Street. But indeed
since I met you to-day and you told me you
had something to communicate we have been
puzzling what it could be, and we concluded
that you were going to be married.
VALENTINE
Ha ! ha I ha ! Was that it.
PHOEBE
So like women, you know. We thought we
perhaps knew her. (Glancing at tJie wedding-
gown^) We were even discussing what we
should wear at the wedding.
VALENTINE
Ha! ha! I shall often think of this. I
wonder who would have me, Miss Susan.
(Rising?) But I must be off; and God bless you
both.
F 41
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
(Forlorn] You are going ?
VALENTINE
No more mud on your carpet, Miss Susan ;
no more coverlets rolled into balls. A good
riddance. Miss Phoebe, a last look at the
garden. (Taking her hand and looking into
her face.}
PHOEBE
We shall miss you very much, Mr. Brown.
VALENTINE
There is one little matter. That investment
I advised you to make, I am happy it has
turned out so well.
PHOEBE
(Checking MISS SUSAN, who is abottt to tell
of the loss of the money] It was good of you
to take all that trouble, sir. Accept our grateful
thanks.
VALENTINE
Not at all, but I am glad that you are so
comfortably left; I am your big brother. Good-
42
i.] Quality Street
bye again. (Looks round.} This little blue and
white room and its dear inmates, may they be
unchanged when I come back. Good-bye.
(He goes. MISS SUSAN looks forlornly
at PHOEBE, who smiles pitifully.}
PHOEBE
A misunderstanding ; just a mistake. (She
shudders, lifts the wedding-gown and puts it
back in the ottoman. MISS SUSAN sinks sobbing
into a chair} Don't, dear, don't — we can live
it down.
MISS SUSAN
(Fiercely) He is a fiend in human form.
PHOEBE
Nay, you hurt me, sister. He is a brave
gentleman.
MISS SUSAN
The money ; why did you not let me tell
him ?
PHOEBE
(Flushing} So that he might offer to me out
of pity, Susan ?
43
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, how are we to live, with the quartern
loaf at one and tenpence?
PHOEBE
Brother James
MISS SUSAN
You know very well that brother James will
do nothing for us.
PHOEBE
I think, Susan, we could keep a little school
— for genteel children only, of course. I would
do most of the teaching.
MISS SUSAN
You a schoolmistress — Phoebe of the ring-
lets ; every one would laugh.
PHOEBE
I shall hide the ringlets away in a cap like
yours, Susan, and people will soon forget
them. And I shall try to look staid and to
grow old quickly. It will not be so hard to
me as you think, dear.
44
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
There were other gentlemen who were
attracted by you, Phoebe, and you turned from
them.
PHOEBE
I did not want them.
MISS SUSAN
They will come again, and others.
PHOEBE
No, dear; never speak of that to me any
more. (In woe) I let him kiss me.
MISS SUSAN
You could not prevent him.
PHOEBE
Yes, I could. I know I could now. I
wanted him to do it. Oh, never speak to me
of others after that. Perhaps he saw I wanted
it and did it to please me. But I meant —
indeed I did — that I gave it to him with all
45
Quality Street [ACTI.
my love. Sister, I could bear all the rest ; but
I have been unladylike. (MISS SUSAN tries to
comfort her, but knows that it is true. The
curtain falls, and we do not see the sisters
again for ten years.}
End of Act I.
\
Miss Phoebe is giving a dancing lesson to
half a dozen pupils, and is doing her
"very best
Act II
THE SCHOOL
TEN years later. It is the blue and white room
still, but many of Miss Susan's beautiful things have
gone, some of them never to return ; others are stored
upstairs. Their place is taken by grim scholastic
furniture: forms, a desk, a globe, a blackboard, heartless
maps. It is here that Miss Phoebe keeps school. Miss
Susan teaches in the room opening off it, once the
innocent spare bedroom, where there is a smaller
blackboard (for easier sums] but no globe, as she is
easily alarmed. Here are the younger pupils unless
they have grown defiant, when they are promoted to
the blue and white room to be under Miss Phoebe's
braver rule. They really frighten Miss Phoebe also,
but she does not let her sister know this.
It is noon on a day in August, and through the
window we can see that Quality Street is decorated
with flags. We also hear at times martial music from
another street. Miss Phoebe is giving a dancing lesson
to half a dozen pupils, and is doing her very best ; now
she is at the spinet while they dance, and again she
is showing them the new step. We know it is Miss
Phoebe because some of her pretty airs and graces still
cling to her in a forlorn way, but she is much changed.
G 49
Quality Street
Her curls are out of sight under a cap, her manner is
prim, the light has gone from her eyes and buoyancy
from her figure ; she looks not ten years older but
twenty, and not an easy twenty. When the ctiildren
are not looking at her we know that she has tlie
headache.
PHOEBE
( IVho is sometimes at spinet and sometimes
dancing] Toes out. So. Chest out, Georgy.
Point your toes, Miss Beveridge — so. So —
keep in line ; and young ladies, remember
your toes. (GEORGY in his desire to please has
protruded the wrong part of his person. Site
writes a C on his chest with chalk.} C stands
for chest, Georgy. This is S.
(MISS SUSAN darts out of the other room.
She is less worn than MISS PHOEBE.)
MISS SUSAN
(WJiispering so that the pupils may not hear]
Phoebe, how many are fourteen and seventeen ?
PHOEBE
(Almost instantly) Thirty-one.
MISS SUSAN
I thank you. (She darts off".}
50
She writes a C on his chest with chalk
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
That will do, ladies and gentlemen. You
may go.
( They bow or curtsey, and retire to MISS
SUSAN'S room, with the exception of
ARTHUR WELLESLEY TOMSON, who IS
standing in disgrace in a corner with
the cap of shame on Jiis head, and
ISABELLA, a forbidding-looking, learned
little girl. ISABELLA holds up her
hand for permission to speak.}
ISABELLA
Please, ma'am, father wishes me to acquire
algebra.
PHOEBE
(With a sinking) Algebra ! It — it is not a
very ladylike study, Isabella.
ISABELLA
Father says, will you or won't you ?
PHOEBE
And you are thin. It will make you thinner,
my dear.
ISABELLA
Father says I am thin but wiry.
52
Quality Street
PHOEBE
Yes, you are. (With feeling) You are very
wiry, Isabella.
ISABELLA
Father says, either I acquire algebra or I
go to Miss Prothero's establishment.
PHOEBE
Very well, I — I will do my best. You
may go.
(ISABELLA goes, and PHOEBE sits
wearily.}
ARTHUR
(Fingering his cap] Please, ma'am, may I
take it off now ?
PHOEBE
Certainly not. Unhappy boy -- (ARTHUR
grins.} Come here. Are you ashamed of
yourself?
ARTHUR
(Blithely) No, ma'am.
PHOEBE
(/;/ a terrible voice] Arthur Wellesley Tom-
son, fetch me the implement. (ARTHUR goes
53
Quality Street [ACT
briskly for the cane, and she hits the desk
with it.} Arthur, surely that terrifies you ?
ARTHUR
No, ma'am.
PHOEBE
Arthur, why did you fight with that street
boy?
ARTHUR
'Cos he said that when you caned you did
not draw blood.
PHOEBE
But I don't, do I ?
ARTHUR
No, ma'am.
PHOEBE
Then why fight him ? {Remembering how
strange boys are] Was it for the honour of
the school ?
ARTHUR
Yes, ma'am.
PHOEBE
Say you are sorry, Arthur, and I won't
punish you. (He bursts into tears.}
54
Quality Street
ARTHUR
You promised to cane me, and now you are
not going to do it.
PHOEBE
(Incredulous) Do you wish to be caned ?
ARTHUR
(Holding out his hand eagerly] If you please,
Miss Phoebe.
PHOEBE
Unnatural boy. (She canes him in a very
unprofessional manner?) Poor dear boy. (She
kisses the hand.}
ARTHUR
(Gloomily] Oh, ma'am, you will never be
able to cane if you hold it like that. You
should hold it like this, Miss Phoebe, and
give it a wriggle like that. (She is too soft-
hearted to follow his instructions?)
PHOEBE
(Almost in tears) Go away.
ARTHUR
(Remembering that women are strange) Don't
cry, ma'am ; I love you, Miss Phoebe. (She
55
Quality Street [ACT
seats him on her knee, and lie thinks of a way
to please her.}
If any boy says you can't cane I will blood
him, Miss Phoebe.
(PHOEBE shudders, and MISS SUSAN again
darts in. She signs to PHOEBE to
send ARTHUR away.}
MISS SUSAN
(As soon as ARTHUR has gone} Phoebe, if a
herring and a half cost three ha'pence, how
many for elevenpence ?
PHOEBE
(Instantly} Eleven.
MISS SUSAN
William Smith says it is fifteen ; and he is
such a big boy, do you think I ought to con-
tradict him ? May I say there are differences
of opinion about it? No one can be really
sure, Phoebe.
PHOEBE
It is eleven. I once worked it out with real
herrings. (Stoutly} Susan, we must never let
the big boys know that we are afraid of them.
To awe them, stamp with the foot, speak in a
56
PHOEBE
Unhappy boy — Are you ashamed of yourself?
ii.] Quality Street
ferocious voice, and look them unflinchingly
in the face. (Then she pales?) Oh, Susan,
Isabella's father insists on her acquiring
algebra.
MISS SUSAN
"What is algebra exactly; is it those three
cornered things ?
PHOEBE
It is x minus y equals z plus y and things
like that. And all the time you are saying
they are equal, you feel in your heart, why
should they be.
( The music of the band swells here, and
both ladies put their hands to their
ears?]
It is the band for to-night's ball. We must
not grudge their rejoicings, Susan. It is not
every year that there is a Waterloo to celebrate.
MISS SUSAN
I \vas not thinking of that. I was thinking
that he is to be at the ball to-night ; and we
have not seen him for ten years.
PHOEBE
(Calmly] Yes, ten years. We shall be glad
to welcome our old friend back, Susan. I am
H 57
Quality Street [ACT
going in to your room now to take the Latin
class.
(A soldier with a girl passes — yokel
follows angrily))
MISS SUSAN
Oh, that weary Latin, I wish I had the
whipping of the man who invented it.
(She returns to her room, and the sound
of the music dies away. MISS PHOEBE,
who is not a very accomplished clas-
sical scholar, is taking a Jinal peep
at the declensions when MISS SUSAN
reappears excitedly?)
PHOEBE
What is it?
MISS SUSAN
(Tragically] William Smith ! Phoebe, I tried
to look ferocious, indeed I did, but he saw I
was afraid, and before the whole school he put
out his tongue at me.
PHOEBE
Susan ! (Site is lion-hearted ; she remembers
ARTHUR'S instructions, and practises with the
cane.)
58
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
(Frightened] Phoebe, he is much too big.
Let it pass.
PHOEBE
If I let it pass I am a stumbling-block in the
way of true education.
MISS SUSAN
Sister.
PHOEBE
(Grandly] Susan, stand aside.
(Giving the cane ARTHUR'S most telling
flick, she marches into tlie other
room. Then, while MISS SUSAN is
listening nervously, CAPTAIN VALEN-
TINE BROWN is ushered in by PATTY.
He is bronzed and soldierly. He
wears the whiskers of the period,
and is in uniform. He has lost his
left hand, but this is not at first
noticeable]
PATTY
Miss Susan, 'tis Captain Brown !
MISS SUSAN
/•
Captain Brown !
59
Quality Street
VALENTINE
(Greeting her warmly} Reports himself at
home again.
MISS SUSAN
(Gratified} You call this home ?
VALENTINE
When the other men talked of their homes,
Miss Susan, I thought of this room. (Looking
about him} Maps — desks — heigho ! But still
it is the same dear room. I have often dreamt,
Miss Susan, that I came back to it in muddy
shoes. (Seeing her alarm} I have not, you
know. Miss Susan, I rejoice to find no change
in you ; and Miss Phoebe — Miss Phoebe of the
ringlets — I hope there be as little change in
her?
MISS SUSAN
(Painfully} Phoebe of the ringlets ! Ah,
Captain Brown, you need not expect to see
her.
VALENTINE
She is not here? I vow it spoils all my
home-coming.
(At this moment the door of the other
room is finng open and PHOEBE rushes
out , followed by WILLIAM SMITH who
60
Phoebe rushes out, followed by William Smith who
is brandishing the cane
Qualify Street [ACT
is brandishing the cane. VALENTINE
takes in the situation, and without
looking at PHOEBE seizes WILLIAM by
the collar and marches him out of the
school?)
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, did you see who it is ?
PHOEBE
I saw. (In a sudden tremor] Susan, I have
lost all my looks.
(The pupils are crowding in from MISS
SUSAN'S room and she orders them
back and goes with them. VALENTINE
returns, and speaks as he enters, not
recognising PHOEBE, whose back is to
him.}
VALENTINE
A young reprobate, madam, but I have
deposited him on the causeway. I fear — (He
stops, puzzled because the lady has covered her
face with her hands?)
PHOEBE
Captain Brown.
VALENTINE
Miss Phoebe, it is you ?
62
Quality Street
(He goes to licr, but he cannot help
showing that her appearance is a
shock to him.}
PHOEBE
(Without bitterness) Yes, I have changed
very much, I have not worn well, Captain
Brown.
VALENTINE
(Awkwardly) We — we are both older, Miss
Phoebe.
(He holds out his hand warmly, with
affected high spirits.}
PHOEBE
(Smiling reproachfully} It was both hands
when you went away. (He has to show that
his left hand is gone; she is overcome.} I
did not know. (She presses the empty sleeve
in remorse.} You never mentioned it in your
letters.
VALENTINE
(Now grown rather stern} Miss Phoebe,
what did you omit from your letters ? that you
had such young blackguards as that to terrify
you.
63
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
He is the only one. Most of them are dear
children ; and this is the last day of the term.
VALENTINE
Ah, ma'am, if only you had invested all
your money as you laid out part by my
advice. What a monstrous pity you did not.
PHOEBE
We never thought of it.
VALENTINE
You look so tired.
PHOEBE
I have the headache to-day.
VALENTINE
You did not use to have the headache.
Curse those dear children.
PHOEBE
(Bravely] Nay, do not distress yourself
about me. Tell me of yourself. We are so
proud of the way in which you won your
commission. Will you leave the army now?
64
ARTHUR
// <in\ buy stiys you can V cane I will blood
him, Miss Phoebe
Quality Street
VALENTINE
Yes ; and I have some intention of pursuing
again the old life in Quality Street. (He is
not a man. who has reflected much. He has
come back thinking that all the adventures
have been his, and that the old life in Quality
Street has waited, as in a sleep, to be resumed
on the day of his return?) I came here in
such high spirits, Miss Phoebe.
PHOEBE
(IVith a wry smile) The change in me
depresses you.
VALENTINE
I was in hopes that you and Miss Susan
would be going to the ball. I had brought
cards for you with me to make sure.
(She is pleased and means to accept.
He sighs, and she understands that
he thinks her too old.}
PHOEBE
But now you see that my dancing days are
done.
VALENTINE
(Uncomfortably] Ah, no.
i 65
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
(Taking care he shall not see that he has
hurt her) But you will find many charming
partners. Some of them have been my
pupils. There was even a pupil of mine who
fought at Waterloo.
VALENTINE
Young Blades ; I have heard him on it.
(She puts her hand wearily to her /lead.}
Miss Phoebe — what a dull grey world it
is!
(She turns away to hide her emotion,
and MISS SUSAN comes in.}
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, I have said that you will not take
the Latin class to-day, and I am dismissing
them.
VALENTINE
Latin ?
PHOEBE
(Rather defiantly'] I am proud to teach it.
(Breaking down} Susan — his arm — have you
seen ?
(MISS SUSAN also is overcome, but re-
covers as the children crowd in}
66
ii.] Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
Hats off, gentlemen salute, ladies curtsey
— to the brave Captain Brown.
(CAPTAIN BROWN salutes them awk-
wardly, and they cheer him, to his
great discomfort, as they pass out.}
VALENTINE
(IVhen they have gone] A terrible ordeal,
ma'am.
(The old friends look at each other,
and there is a silence. VALENTINE
feels that all the fine tales and
merry jests he has brought back for
the ladies have turned into dead
things. He wants to go away and
think.)
PHOEBE
I wish you very happy at the ball.
VALENTINE
(Sighing) Miss Susan, cannot we turn all
these maps and horrors out till the vacation
is over?
MISS SUSAN
Indeed, sir, we always do. By to-morrow
67
Quality Street [ACT
this will be my dear blue and white room
again, and that my sweet spare bedroom.
PHOEBE
For five weeks !
VALENTINE
(Making vain belief} And then — the — the
dashing Mr. Brown will drop in as of old,
and, behold, Miss Susan on her knees once
more putting tucks into my little friend the
ottoman, and Miss Phoebe — Miss Phoebe —
PHOEBE
Phoebe of the ringlets ! (She goes out
quietly}
VALENTINE
(Miserably] Miss Susan, what a shame it is.
MISS SUSAN
(Hotly] Yes, it is a shame.
VALENTINE
(Suddenly become more of a man} The
brave Captain Brown ! Good God, ma'am,
how much more brave are the ladies who keep
a school.
(PATTY shows in two visitors, MISS
CHARLOTTE PARRATT and ENSIGN
68
Quality Street
BLADES. CHARLOTTE 75 tl Pretty
minx who we are glad to say does
not reside in Quality Street, and
BLADES 75 a callow youth, inviting
admiration.}
CHARLOTTE
(As they salute] But I did not know you
had company, Miss Susan.
MISS SUSAN
Tis Captain Brown — Miss Charlotte
Parratt.
CHARLOTTE
(Gushing} The heroic Brown ?
VALENTINE
Alas, no, ma'am, the other one.
CHARLOTTE
Miss Susan, do you see who accompanies
me?
MISS SUSAN
I cannot quite recall—
BLADES
A few years ago, ma'am, there sat in this
room a scrubby, inky little boy — I was that boy.
69
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
Can it be our old pupil — Ensign Blades?
(She thinks him very fine, and he bonus,
well pleased!}
BLADES
Once a little boy and now your most
obedient, ma'am.
MISS SUSAN
You have come to recall old memories ?
BLADES
Not precisely ; I — Charlotte, explain.
CHARLOTTE
Ensign Blades wishes me to say that it
must seem highly romantic to you to have
had a pupil who has fought at Waterloo.
MISS SUSAN
Not exactly romantic. I trust, sir, that
when you speak of having been our pupil you
are also so obliging as to mention that it was
during our first year. Otherwise it makes us
seem so elderly.
(He bows again, in what he believes to
be a quizzical manner?)
70
Q^lal^ty Street
CHARLOTTE
Ensign Blades would be pleased to hear,
Miss Susan, what you think of him as a
whole.
MISS SUSAN
Indeed, sir, I think you are monstrous fine.
(Innocently] It quite awes me to remember
that we used to whip him.
VALENTINE
(Delighted} Whipped him, Miss Susan !
(In solemn burlesque of CHARLOTTE) Ensign
Blades wishes to indicate that it was more
than Buonaparte could do. We shall meet
again, bright boy.
(He makes his adieux and goes.}
BLADES
Do you think he was quizzing me?
MISS SUSAN
(Simply) I cannot think so.
BLADES
He said 'bright boy,' ma'am.
MISS SUSAN
I am sure, sir, he did not mean it.
(Plwebe returns}
Quality Street
PHOEBE
Charlotte, I am happy to see you. You
look delicious, my dear — so young and fresh.
CHARLOTTE
Lai Do you think so, Miss Phoebe?
BLADES
Miss Phoebe, your obedient.
PHOEBE
It is Ensign Blades ! But how kind of you,
sir, to revisit the old school. Please to sit
down.
CHARLOTTE
Ensign Blades has a favour to ask of you,
Miss Phoebe.
BLADES
I learn, ma'am, that Captain Brown has
obtained a card for you for the ball, and I
am here to solicit for the honour of standing
up with you.
(For the moment PHOEBE is flattered.
Here, slie believes, is some one who
does not think lier too old for the
dance. Then she perceives a meaning
smile pass between CHARLOTTE and
the ENSIGN.)
72
// soldier ivith <? girl passes — yokel follows
angrily
H
I
S/j* perceives a meaning smile pass between Charlotte and the Ensign
PHOEBE
(Paling] Is \\. that you desire to make sport
of me?
K 73
Quality Street [ACT
BLADES
(Honestly distressed] Oh no, ma'am, I vow
— but I — I am such a quiz, ma'am.
MISS SUSAN
Sister!
PHOEBE
I am sorry, sir, to have to deprive you of
some entertainment, but I am not going to the
ball.
MISS SUSAN
(Haughtily] Ensign Blades, I bid you my
adieux.
BLADES
(Ashamed] If I have hurt Miss Phoebe's
feelings I beg to apologise.
MISS SUSAN
If you have hurt them. Oh, sir, how is it
possible for any one to be as silly as you seem
to be?
BLADES
(Who cannot find the answer] Charlotte
— explain.
(But CHARLOTTE considers tJiat their
visit has not been sufficiently esteemed
74
ii.] Quality Street
and departs with a cold curfsey, tak-
ing him with her.}
(MISS SUSAN turns sympathetically to
PHOEBE, but PHOEBE, fighting with
her pain, sits down at the spinet and
plays at first excitedly a gay tune,
then slowly, then conies to a stop with
hey head bowed. Soon she jumps lip
courageously, brushes away her dis-
tress, gets an algebra book from the
desk and sits down to stiidy it. MISS
SUSAN is at the window, where ladies
and gentlemen are now seen passing
in ball attire?)
MISS SUSAN
What book is it, Phoebe ?
PHOEBE
It is an algebra.
MISS SUSAN
They are going by to the ball. (In anger]
My Phoebe should be going to the ball too.
PHOEBE
You jest, Susan. (MISS SUSAN watches her
read. PHOEBE has to wipe away a tear ; soon
75
Quality Street [ACT
she rises and gives way to the emotion she has
been suppressing ever since the entrance of
VALENTINE.) Susan, I hate him. Oh, Susan,
I could hate him if it were not for his poor
hand.
MISS SUSAN
My dear.
PHOEBE
He thought I was old, because I am weary,
and he should not have forgotten. I am only
thirty. Susan, why does thirty seem so much
more than twenty-nine? (As //"VALENTINE
were present?) Oh, sir, how dare you look so
pityingly at me ? Because I have had to work
so hard, — is it a crime when a woman works ?
Because I have tried to be courageous — have
I been courageous, Susan ?
MISS SUSAN
God knows you have.
PHOEBE
But it has given me the headache, it has
tired my eyes. Alas, Miss Phoebe, all your
charm has gone, for you have the headache,
and your eyes are tired. He is dancing with
Charlotte Parratt now, Susan. ' I vow, Miss
76
n.j Quality Street
Charlotte, you are selfish and silly, but you
are sweet eighteen.' ' Oh la, Captain Brown,
what a quiz you are.' That delights him,
Susan ; see how he waggles his silly head.
MISS SUSAN
Charlotte Parratt is a goose.
PHOEBE
Tis what gentlemen prefer. If there were
a sufficient number of geese to go round,
Susan, no woman of sense would ever get
a husband. ' Charming Miss Charlotte, you
are like a garden ; Miss Phoebe was like a
garden once, but 'tis a faded garden now.'
MISS SUSAN
If to be ladylike
PHOEBE
Susan, I am tired of being ladylike. I am
a young woman still, and to be ladylike is not
enough. I wish to be bright and thoughtless
and merry. It is every woman's birthright to
be petted and admired ; I wish to be petted
and admired. Was I born to be confined
within these four walls? Are they the world,
Susan, or is there anything beyond them? I
77
Quality Street [ACT
want to know. My eyes are tired because for
ten years they have seen nothing but maps
and desks. Ten years 1 Ten years ago I
went to bed a young girl and I woke with
this cap on my head. It is not fair. This
is not me, Susan, this is some other person,
I want to be myself.
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, Phoebe, you who have always been
so patient !
PHOEBE
Oh no, not always. If you only knew how
I have rebelled at times, you would turn from
me in horror. Susan, I have a picture of my-
self as I used to be ; I sometimes look at it. I
sometimes kiss it, and say, ' Poor girl, they
have all forgotten you. But I remember.'
MISS SUSAN
I cannot recall it.
PHOEBE
I keep it locked away in my room. Would
you like to see it ? I shall bring it down. My
room I Oh, Susan, it is there that the Phoebe
you think so patient has the hardest fight with
herself, for there I have seemed to hear and
78
ii.] Quality Street
see the Phoebe of whom this (looking at her-
self] is but an image in a distorted glass. I
have heard her singing as if she thought she was
still a girl. I have heard her weeping ; per-
haps it was only I who was weeping ; but she
seemed to cry to me, ' Let me out of this prison,
give me back the years you have taken from
me. Oh, where are my pretty curls ? ' she
cried. ' Where is my youth, my youth.'
(She goes out, leaving uiss SUSAN woeful.
Presently SUSAN takes up tlie algebra
book, and reads.}
MISS SUSAN
'A stroke B multiplied by B stroke C equal
AB stroke a little 2; stroke AC add BC. "Poor
Phoebe ! " Multiply by C stroke A and we get
-Poor Phoebe ! C a B stroke a little 2 stroke
AC little 2 add BC. "Oh, I cannot believe
it ! " Stroke a little 2 again, add AB little 2 add
a little 2 C stroke a BC.' . . .
(PATTY conies in with the
PATTY
Hurting your poor eyes reading without
a lamp. Think shame, Miss Susan.
79
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
(With spirit] Patty, I will not be dictated to.
(PATTY looks out at window] Draw the cur-
tains at once. I cannot allow you to stand
gazing at the foolish creatures who crowd to
a ball.
PATTY
(Closing curtains) I am not gazing at them,
ma'am ; I am gazing at my sweetheart.
MISS SUSAN
Your sweetheart? (Softly) I did not know
you had one.
PATTY
Nor have I, ma'am, as yet. But I looks out,
and thinks I to myself, at any moment he may
turn the corner. I ha' been looking out at
windows waiting for him to oblige by turning
the corner this fifteen years.
MISS SUSAN
Fifteen years, and still you are hopeful ?
PATTY
There is not a more hopeful woman in all the
king's dominions.
80
V- — --. — \^z~s
\i=.\ '.=>. f=\ I—"! 1^=
Patty ushers in the sisters Wtlloughby and
Miss Henrietta. Miss Henrietta is wearing
the new veil, which opens or closes like
curtains when she pulls a string
ii.] Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
You who are so much older than Miss Phoebe.
PATTY
Yes, ma'am, I ha' the advantage of her by
ten years.
MISS SUSAN
It would be idle to pretend that you are
specially comely.
PATTY
That may be, but my face is my own, and
the more I see it in the glass the more it
pleases me. I never look at it but I say to
myself, ' Who is to be the lucky man ? '
MISS SUSAN
Tis wonderful.
PATTY
This will be a great year for females, ma'am.
Think how many of the men that marched
away strutting to the wars have come back
limping. Who is to take off their wooden legs
of an evening, Miss Susan ? You, ma'am,
or me ?
MISS SUSAN
Patty !
L 81
Quality Street [ACT
PATTY
(Doggedly} Or Miss Phoebe? (With feeling)
The pretty thing that she was, Miss Susan.
MISS SUSAN
Do you remember, Patty ? I think there
is no other person who remembers unless it
be the Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta.
PATTY
(Eagerly] Give her a chance, ma'am, and
take her to the balls. There be three of them
this week, and the last ball will be the best, for
'tis to be at the barracks, and you will need a
carriage to take you there, and there will be
the packing of you into it by gallant squires
and the unpacking of you out, and other
devilries.
MISS SUSAN
Patty !
PATTY
If Miss Phoebe were to dress young again
and put candles in her eyes that used to be so
bright, and coax back her curls —
(PHOEBE returns, and a great change
has come over her. She is young and
82
Quality Street
*-> ^
pretty again. She is wearing the
wedding-gown of ACT i. , Jier ringlets
are glorious, tier figure youth/id, Jier
face fin shed and animated. PATTY is
the first to see her, and is astounded.
PHOEBE signs to her to go.}
PHOEBE
(IVhen PATTY lias gone) Susan. (MISS SUSAN
sees and is speechless^] Susan, this is the picture
of my old self that I keep locked away in my
room, and sometimes take out of its box to
look at. This is the girl who kisses herself in
the glass and sings and dances with glee until
I put her away frightened lest you should hear
her.
MISS SUSAN
How marvellous ! Oh, Phoebe.
PHOEBE
Perhaps I should not do it, but it is so easy.
I have but to put on the old wedding-gown
and tumble my curls out of the cap. (Passion-
ately] Sister, am I as changed as he says I
am?
83
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
You almost frighten me.
(Tlie band is heard.}
PHOEBE
The music is calling to us. Susan, I will
celebrate Waterloo in a little ball of my own.
See, my curls have begun to dance, they are
so anxious to dance. One dance, Susan, to
Phoebe of the ringlets, and then I will put her
away in her box and never look at her again.
Ma'am, may I have the honour? Nay, then I
shall dance alone. (She dances.} Oh, Susan,
I almost wish I were a goose.
(Presently PATTY returns. She gazes at
MISS PHOEBE dancing.}
PATTY
Miss Phoebe!
PHOEBE
(Still dancing) Not Miss Phoebe, Patty. I
am not myself to-night, I am — let me see, I
am my niece.
PATTY
(In a whisper to SUSAN) But Miss Susan, 'tis
Captain Brown.
84
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
Oh, stop, Phoebe, stop !
PATTY
Nay, let him see her !
(MISS SUSAN hurries scandalised into
the other room as VALENTINE enters.}
VALENTINE
I ventured to come back because -- (PHOEBE
turns to him — he stops abruptly, bewildered].
I beg your pardon, madam, I thought it was
Miss Susan or Miss Phoebe.
(His mistake surprises Jier, but slie is
in a wild mood and curtseys, then
turns away and smiles. He stares
as if half-convinced}
PATTY
(JVith an inspiration} 'Tis my mistresses'
niece, sir; she is on a visit here.
(He is deceived. He bows gallantly,
then remembers the object of his visit.
He produces a bottle of medicine.}
VALENTINE
Patty, I obtained this at the apothecary's for
85
Quality Street [ACT
Miss Phoebe's headache. It should be taken
at once.
PATTY
Miss Phoebe is lying down, sir.
VALENTINE
Is she asleep?
PATTY
(Demurely] No, sir, I think she be wide
awake.
VALENTINE
It may soothe her.
PHOEBE
Patty, take it to Aunt Phoebe at once.
(PATTY goes out sedately with the medi-
cine.}
VALENTINE
(After a little awkwardness, which PHOEBE
enjoys] Perhaps I may venture to introduce
myself, Miss — Miss — ?
PHOEBE
Miss — Livvy, sir.
VALENTINE
I am Captain Brown, Miss Livvy, an old
friend of both your aunts.
86
Quality Street
PHOEBE
(Curtseying) I have heard them speak of a
dashing Mr. Brown. But I think it cannot
be the same.
VALENTINE
(A little chagrined] Why not, ma'am ?
PHOEBE
I ask your pardon, sir.
VALENTINE
I was sure you must be related. Indeed, for
a moment the likeness — even the voice —
PHOEBE
(Pouting) La, sir, you mean I am like Aunt
Phoebe. Every one says so — and indeed 'tis
no compliment.
VALENTINE
Tvvould have been a compliment once. You
must be a daughter of the excellent Mr. James
Throssel who used to reside at Great Buck-
land.
PHOEBE
He is still there.
87
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
A tedious twenty miles from here, as I
remember.
PHOEBE
La ! I have found the journey a monstrous
quick one, sir.
(The band is again heard. She runs
to the window to peep between the
curtains, and his eyes follow her
admiringly^)
VALENTINE
(Eagerly] Miss Livvy, you go to the ball ?
PHOEBE
Alas, sir, I have no card.
VALENTINE
I have two cards for your aunts. As Miss
Phoebe has the headache, your Aunt Susan
must take you to the ball.
PHOEBE
Oh, oh ! (Her feet move to tJie imisic.} Sir,
I cannot control my feet.
88
MlSS WlLLOUGHBY
We shall probably spend the evening here
with Miss Susan at the card table
Quality Street
VALENTINE
They are already at the ball, ma'am ; you
must follow them.
PHOEBE
(With all the pent-iip mischief of ten years)
Oh, sir, do you think some pretty gentleman
might be partial to me at the ball ?
VALENTINE
If that is your wish —
PHOEBE
I should love, sir, to inspire frenzy in the
breast of the male. (IVith sudden collapse] I
dare not go — I dare not.
VALENTINE
Miss Livvy, I vow—
(He turns eagerly to MISS SUSAN, who
enters.}
I have ventured, Miss Susan, to introduce
myself to your charming niece.
(MISS SUSAN would like to run away
again, but the wicked MISS PHOEBE
is determined to have her help.}
M 89
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
Aunt Susan, do not be angry with your
Livvy — your Livvy, Aunt Susan. This
gentleman says he is the dashing Mr. Brown,
he has cards for us for the ball, Auntie. Of
course we cannot go — we dare not go. Oh,
Auntie, hasten into your bombazine.
MISS SUSAN
(Staggered] Phoebe—
PHOEBE
Aunt Phoebe wants me to go. If I say she
does you know she does !
MISS SUSAN
But my dear, my dear.
PHOEBE
Oh, Auntie, why do you talk so much.
Come, come.
VALENTINE
I shall see to it, Miss Susan, that your
niece has a charming ball.
PHOEBE
He means he will find me sweet partners.
90
ii.] Quality Street
VALENTINE
Nay, ma'am, I mean / shall be your partner.
PHOEBE
(IVho is not an angel] Aunt Susan, he still
dances !
VALENTINE
Still, ma'am ?
PHOEBE
Oh, sir, you are indeed dashing. Nay, sir,
please not to scowl, I could not avoid noticing
them.
VALENTINE
Noticing what, Miss Livvy ?
PHOEBE
The grey hairs, sir.
VALENTINE
I vow, ma'am, there is not one in my head.
PHOEBE
He is such a quiz. I so love a quiz.
VALENTINE
Then, ma'am, I shall do nothing but quiz
you at the ball. Miss Susan, I beg you
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
Oh, sir, dissuade her.
VALENTINE
Nay, I entreat.
PHOEBE
Auntie I
MISS SUSAN
Think, my dear, think, we dare not.
PHOEBE
(Shuddering] No, we dare not, I cannot go.
VALENTINE
Indeed, ma'am
PHOEBE
Tis impossible.
(She really means it, and had not the
music here taken an unfair advan-
tage of her it is certain that MISS
PHOEBE would never have gone to the
ball. In after years she and MISS
SUSAN would have talked together
of the monstrous evening when she
nearly lost her head, but regained it
before it could fall off. But suddenly
92
Quality Street
the music swells so alluringly that it
is a thoiisand fingers beckoning her
to all tJie balls she lias missed, and in
a transport she whirls MISS SUSAN
from the blue and white room to
tJie bedchamber wliere is the bomba-
zine. VALENTINE awaits their return
like a conqueror, until MISS LIVVY'S
words about his hair return to
trouble him. He is stooping, gazing
intently into a small mirror, ex-
tracting the grey hairs one by one,
when PATTY usliers in the sisters
WILLOUGHBY and MISS HENRIETTA.
MISS HENRIETTA is wearing the new
veil, which opens or closes like cur-
tains when slie pulls a string. She
opens it now to see what he is doing,
and the slight sound brings him to
his feet.}
MISS HENRIETTA
Tis but the new veil, sir; there is no cause
for alarm.
(They Jiave already learned from PATTY,
we may be sure, that he is in
93
Quality Street [ACT
tlie house, but tJiey express genteel
stir prised]
MISS FANNY
Mary, surely we are addressing the gallant
Captain Brown !
VALENTINE
It is the Misses Willoughby and Miss
Henrietta. Tis indeed a gratification to renew
acquaintance with such elegant and respectable
females.
( Tlie greetings are elaborate?)
MISS WILLOUGHBY
You have seen Miss Phoebe, sir?
VALENTINE
I have had the honour. Miss Phoebe, I
regret to say, is now lying down with the head-
ache. (The ladies are too delicately minded
to exchange glances before a man, but they are
privately of opinion that this meeting after ten
years with the dazzling BROWN has laid MISS
PHOEBE low. They are in a twitter of sym-
pathy witli her, and yearning to see MISS
SUSAN alone, so tJiat tJiey may draw from her
94
ii.] Quality Street
an account of the exciting meeting.} You do
not favour the ball to-night?
MISS FANNY
I confess balls are distasteful to me.
MISS HENRIETTA
Twill be a mixed assembly. I am credibly
informed that the woollen draper's daughter
has obtained a card.
VALENTINE
(Gravely'} Good God, ma'am, is it possible.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
We shall probably spend the evening here
with Miss Susan at the card table.
VALENTINE
But Miss Susan goes with me to the ball,
ma'am.
(This is scarcely less exciting to them
than the overthrow of the Corsican.}
VALENTINE
Nay, I hope there be no impropriety. Miss
Livvy will accompany her.
95
Quality Street [ACT
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(Bewildered] Miss Livvy?
VALENTINE
Their charming niece.
(The ladies repeat the word in a daze.}
MISS FANNY
They had not apprised us that they have a
visitor.
(They think this reticence unfriendly,
and are wondering whether they
ought not to retire hurt, when MISS
SUSAN enters in her bombasine, wraps,
and bonnet. She starts at sight of
them, and has the bearing of a guilty
Person.}
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(Stiffly*} We have but now been advertised
of your intention for this evening, Susan.
MISS HENRIETTA
We deeply regret our intrusion.
MISS SUSAN
{Wistfully) Please not to be piqued, Mary.
'Twas so — sudden.
96
Quality Street
MISS WILLOUGHBY
I cannot remember, Susan, that your estim-
able brother had a daughter. I thought all
the three were sons.
MISS SUSAN
(IVitli deplorable readiness) Three sons
and a daughter. Surely you remember little
Livvy, Mary?
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(Bluntly] No, Susan, I do not.
MISS SUSAN
I — I must go. I hear Livvy calling.
MISS FANNY
(Tartly) I hear nothing but the band. We
are not to see your niece ?
MISS SUSAN
Another time — to-morrow. Pray rest a
little before you depart, Mary. I — I — Phoebe
Livvy — the headache —
(But before sJie can go another lady
enters gaily.}
VALENTINE
Ah, here is Miss Livvy.
(The true culprit is more cunning than
N 97
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN, and before they can see
her she quickly piills the strings of
her bonnet, 'which is like MISS HEN-
RIETTA'S, and it obscures her face.}
MISS SUSAN
This — this is my niece, Livvy — Miss
Willoughby, Miss Henrietta, Miss Fanny
Willoughby.
VALENTINE
Ladies, excuse my impatience, but —
MISS WILLOUGHBY
One moment, sir. May I ask, Miss Livvy,
how many brothers you have.
PHOEBE
Two.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
I thank you.
(She looks strangely at MISS SUSAN, and
MISS PHOEBE knows that she has
blundered.}
PHOEBE
(At a venture] Excluding the unhappy
Thomas.
98
They are sivept away on the arms of the impatient Captain
MISS SUSAN
(Clever for f/ie only moment in Jier life} We
never mention him.
(They are swept away on tlie arms of
fhe impatient CAPTAIN.) •z\c\[r.
>1
Quality Street
MISS WILLOUGHBY, MISS HENRIETTA,
AND MISS FANNY
What has Thomas done?
(They have no suspicion as yet 'of what
MISS PHOEBE has done; but they
believe there is a scandal in the
TJirossel family, and they will not
sleep happily until they know what
it is.)
End of Act II.
Act III
THE BALL
A BALL, but not the one to which we have seen Miss
Susan and Miss Phoebe rush forth upon their career
of crime. This is the third of the series, the one of
which Patty has foretold with horrid relish that it
promises to be specially given over to devilries. The
scene is a canvas pavilion, used as a retiring room and
for card play, and through an opening in the back we
have glimpses of gay uniforms and fair ladies inter-
mingled in the bravery of the dance. There is coming
and going through this opening, and also through slits
in the canvas. The pavilion is fantastically decorated
in various tastes, and is lit with lanterns. A good-
natured moon, nevertheless, shines into it benignly.
Some of the card tables are neglected, but at one a game
of quadrille is in progress. There is much movement
and hilarity, but none from one side of the tent, where
sit several young ladies, all pretty, all appealing and
all woeful, for no gallant comes to ask them if he may
have the felicity. The nervous woman chaperoning
them, and afraid to meet their gaze lest they scowl or
weep in reply, is no other than Miss Susan, the most
unhappy Miss Susan we have yet seen ; she sits there
gripping her composure in both hands. Far less
103
Quality Street
susceptible to shame is the brazen Phoebe, who may be
seen passing the opening on the arm of a cavalier, and
flinging her trembling sister a mischievous kiss. The
younger ladies note the incident; alas, they are probably
meant to notice it, and they cower, as under a bloiv.
HARRIET
(A sad-eyed, large girl, who we Jwpe found
a romance at her next ball] Are we so dis-
agreeable that no one will dance with us?
Miss Susan, 'tis infamous ; they have eyes for
no one but your niece.
CHARLOTTE
Miss Livvy has taken Ensign Blades from
me.
HARRIET
If Miss Phoebe were here, I am sure she
would not allow her old pupils to be so
neglected.
(T/ie only possible reply for MISS SUSAN
is to make herself look as small as
possible. A lieutenant conies to them,
once a scorner of ii ?man, but now
SPICER the bewitched. HARRIET has
a moment's hope.}
How do you do, sir?
104
May I stand beside you, Miss Susan ?
SPICER
(IVitJi dreadful indifference, though she is his
dear cousiii] Nay, ma'am, how do you, do ?
(Wistfully] May I stand beside you, Miss
Susan ?
o 105
Quality Street [ACT
(He is a most melancholic young man,
and lie fidgets her.}
MISS SUSAN
(With spirit] You have been standing be-
side me, sir, nearly all the evening.
SPICER
(Humbly. It is strange to think that Jie
had been favourably mentioned in dispatches]
Indeed, I cannot but be cognisant of the
sufferings I cause by attaching myself to
you in this unseemly manner. Accept my
assurances, ma'am, that you have my deepest
sympathy.
MISS SUSAN
Then why do you do it ?
SPICER
Because you are her aunt, ma'am. It is a
scheme of mine by which I am in hopes to
soften her heart. Her affection for you, ma'am,
is beautiful to observe, and if she could be per-
suaded that I seek her hand from a passionate
desire to have you for my Aunt Susan — do
1 06
in.] Quality Street
you perceive anything hopeful in my scheme,
ma'am ?
MISS SUSAN
No, sir, I do not.
(SPICER wanders away gloomily, takes
too much to drink, and ultimately
becomes a general. ENSIGN BLADES
appears, frowning, and CHARLOTTE
ventures to touch his sleeve.)
CHARLOTTE
Ensign Blades, I have not danced with you
once this evening.
BLADES
(With the cold brutality of a lover to another
she] Nor I with you, Charlotte. (To SUSAN)
May I solicit of you, Miss Susan, is Captain
Brown Miss Livvy's guardian ; is he affianced
to her ?
MISS SUSAN
No, sir.
BLADES
Then by what right, ma'am, does he inter-
107
Quality Street [ACT
fere? Your elegant niece had consented to
accompany me to the shrubbery — to look at
the moon. And now Captain Brown forbids
it. Tis unendurable.
CHARLOTTE
But you may see the moon from here, sir.
BLADES
(Glancing at it contemptuously'] I believe
not, ma'am. (The moon still shines on.}
MISS SUSAN
(Primly] I am happy Captain Brown forbade
her.
BLADES
Miss Susan, 'twas but because he is to con-
duct her to the shrubbery himself.
(He flings out pettishly, and MISS SUSAN
looks pityingly at the -wall-flower -s.)
MISS SUSAN
My poor Charlotte ! May I take you to
some very agreeable ladies ?
1 08
in.] Qualify Street
CHARLOTTE
(Tartly) No, you may not. I am going to
the shrubbery to watch Miss Livvy.
MISS SUSAN
Please not to do that.
CHARLOTTE
(Implying that MISS SUSAN will be respon-
sible for her early death) My chest is weak.
I shall sit among the dew.
MISS SUSAN
Charlotte, you terrify me. At least, please
to put this cloak about your shoulders. Nay,
my dear, allow me.
(Site puts a cloak around CHARLOTTE,
who departs vindictively for the
shrubbery. She will not find LIVVY
there, however, for next moment MISS
PHOEBE darts in from the back.}
PHOEBE
(In a gay whisper] Susan, another offer —
Major Linkwater — rotund man, black whiskers,
109
Quality Street
fierce expression ; he has rushed away to
destroy himself.
(M^e have been imable to find any record
of the Major s tragic end.}
AN OLD SOLDIER
(Looking up fi'oin a card fable, whence he
has heard the raging ^/"BLADES) Miss Livvy,
ma'am, what is this about the moon ?
(PHOEBE smiles roguishly.}
PHOEBE
(Looking about her} I want my cloak, Aunt
Susan.
MISS SUSAN
I have just lent it to poor Charlotte Parratt.
PHOEBE
Oh, auntie !
OLD SOLDIER
And now Miss Livvy cannot go into the
shrubbery to see the moon ; and she is so fond
of the moon I
(MISS PHOEBE screws her nose at liini
merrily, and darts back to tJie dance,
but she has left a defender behind her.}
1 10
He has rushed away to destroy himself
A GALLANT
(Whose name we have not succeeded in dis-
covering] Am I to understand, sir, that you
are intimating disparagement of the moon ?
If a certain female has been graciously pleased
to signify approval of that orb, any slight cast
i 1 1
Quality Street
upon the moon, sir, I shall regard as a personal
affront.
OLD SOLDIER
Hoity-toity.
(But lie rises, and they face each other,
as MISS SUSAN feels, for battle. She
is about to rush between their undrawn
swords when there is a commotion
outside ; a crowd gathers and opens
to allow some officers to assist a
fainting woman into the tent. It is
MISS PHOEBE, and MISS SUSAN with
a cry goes on lier knees beside her.
The tent has filled with the sym-
pathetic and inquisitive, but CAPTAIN
BROWN, as a physician, takes com-
mand, and by his order they retire.
He finds difficulty in bringing the
sufferer to, and gets little help from
MISS SUSAN, who can only call upon
MISS PHOEBE by name.}
VALENTINE
Nay, Miss Susan, 'tis useless calling for
Miss Phoebe. Tis my fault ; I should not
have permitted Miss Livvy to dance so im-
1 12
Ensign Blades appears, frowning, and Char-
lotte ventures to touch his sleeve
. •• ' '-' *J
•
-. - .- ,
-
Hoity-toity
moderately. Why do they delay with the
cordial ?
(He goes to tJte back to close the open-
ing, and while he is doing so the in-
comprehensible MISS PHOEBE seises
the opportunity to sit tip on her couch
p 113
Qualify Street [ACT
of chairs, waggle Jier finger at MISS
SUSAN, and sign darkly that she is
about to make a genteel recovery?)
PHOEBE
Where am I ? Is that you, Aunt Susan ?
What has happened ?
VALENTINE
(Returning] Nay, you must recline, Miss
Livvy. You fainted. You have over-fatigued
yourself.
PHOEBE
I remember.
(BLADES enters with the cordial?)
VALENTINE
You will sip this cordial.
BLADES
By your leave, sir.
(He hands it to PHOEBE himself?)
VALENTINE
She is in restored looks already, Miss
Susan.
114
in.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
I am quite recovered. Perhaps if you were
to leave me now with my excellent aunt —
VALENTINE
Be off with you, apple cheeks.
BLADES
Sir, I will suffer no reference to my com-
plexion ; and, if I mistake not, this charming
lady was addressing you.
PHOEBE
If you please, both of you. (They retire
together, and no sooner Jiave they gone tlian
MISS PHOEBE leaps from tJic couch, Jier eyes
sparkling. She presses the cordial on MISS
SUSAN.) Nay, drink it, Susan. I left it for
you on purpose. I have such awful informa-
tion to impart. Drink. (MISS SUSAN drinks
tremblingly, and then the bolt is fired.} Susan,
Miss Henrietta and Miss Fanny are here !
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe !
PHOEBE
Suddenly my eyes lighted on them. At
once I slipped to the ground.
Qtiality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
You think they did not see you ?
PHOEBE
I am sure of it. They talked for a moment
to Ensign Blades, and then turned and seemed
to be going towards the shrubbery.
MISS SUSAN
He had heard that you were there with
Captain Brown. He must have told them.
PHOEBE
I was not. But oh, sister, I am sure they
suspect, else why should they be here ? They
never frequent balls.
MISS SUSAN
They have suspected for a week, ever since
they saw you in your veil, Phoebe, on the
night of the first dance. How could they but
suspect, when they have visited us every day
since then and we have always pretended that
Livvy was gone out.
PHOEBE
Should they see my face it will be idle to
attempt to deceive them.
116
in.] Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
Idle indeed ; Phoebe, the scandal ! You — a
schoolmistress !
PHOEBE
That is it, sister. A little happiness has
gone to my head like strong waters.
(She is very restless
MISS SUSAN
My dear, stand still, and think.
PHOEBE
I dare not, I cannot. Oh, Susan, if they
see me we need not open school again.
MISS SUSAN
We shall starve.
PHOEBE
(Passionately) This horrid, forward, flirting,
heartless, hateful, little toad of a Livvy.
MISS SUSAN
Brother James's daughter, as we call her !
PHOEBE
'Tis'all James's fault.
117
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
Sister, when you know that James has no
daughter I
PHOEBE
If he had really had one, think you I could
have been so wicked as to personate her ?
Susan, I know not what I am saying, but you
know who it is that has turned me into this
wild creature.
MISS SUSAN
Oh, Valentine Brown, how could you?
PHOEBE
To weary of Phoebe — patient, ladylike
Phoebe — the Phoebe whom I have lost — to
turn from her with a ' Bah, you make me old,'
and become enamoured in a night of a thing
like this !
MISS SUSAN
Yes, yes, indeed ; yet he has been kind
to us also. He has been to visit us several
times.
PHOEBE
In the hope to see her. Was he not most
silent and gloomy when we said she was gone
out?
118
in.] Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
He is infatuate — (She hesitates] Sister,
you are not partial to him still ?
PHOEBE
No, Susan, no. I did love him all those
years, though I never spoke of it to you. I
put hope aside at once, I folded it up and
kissed it and put it away like a pretty garment
I could never wear again, but I loved to think
of him as a noble man. But he is not a noble
man, and Livvy found it out in an hour. The
gallant ! I flirted that I might enjoy his fury.
Susan, there has been a declaration in his eyes
all to-night, and when he cries 'Adorable Miss
Livvy, be mine,' I mean to answer with an
' Oh, la, how ridiculous you are. You are
much too old — I have been but quizzing you,
sir.'
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, how can you be so cruel ?
PHOEBE
Because he has taken from me the one
great glory that is in a woman's life. Not
119
Quality Street [ACT
a man's love — she can do without that — but
her own dear sweet love for him. He is un-
worthy of my love ; that is why I can be so
cruel.
MISS SUSAN
Oh, dear.
PHOEBE
And now my triumph is to be denied me,
for we must steal away home before Henrietta
and Fanny see us.
MISS SUSAN
Yes, yes.
PHOEBE
(Dispirited] And to-morrow we must say
that Livvy has gone back to her father, for
I dare keep up this deception no longer.
Susan, let us go.
(They are going dejectedly, but are
arrested by the apparition of MISS
HENRIETTA and MISS FANNY peeping
into the tent. PHOEBE has just time
to signify to her sister that she will
confess all and beg for mercy, when
the intruders speak.}
1 20
Miss SUSAN
They have suspected for a week
in.] Quality Street
MISS HENRIETTA
(Not triumphant but astounded] You, Miss
Phoebe ?
PHOEBE
(With bowed head] Yes.
MISS FANNY
How amazing ! You do not deny, ma'am,
that you are Miss Phoebe?
PHOEBE
(Making confession] Yes, Fanny, I am Miss
Phoebe.
(To her bewilderment HENRIETTA and
FANNY exchange ashamed glances.]
MISS HENRIETTA
Miss Phoebe, we have done you a cruel
wrong.
MISS FANNY
Phoebe, we apologise.
MISS HENRIETTA
To think how excitedly we have been
following her about in the shrubbery.
o 121
Quality Street [ACT
MISS FANNY
She is wearing your cloak.
MISS HENRIETTA
Ensign Blades told us she was gone to the
shrubbery.
MISS FANNY
And we were convinced there was no such
person.
MISS HENRIETTA
So of course we thought it must be you.
MISS FANNY
(IV ho has looked out] I can discern her in the
shrubbery still. She is decidedly taller than
Phoebe.
MISS HENRIETTA
I thought she looked taller, I meant to say
so. Phoebe, 'twas the cloak deceived us.
We could not see her face.
PHOEBE
(Beginning to understand] Cloak ? You
mean, Henrietta — you mean, Fanny-
Miss FANNY
'Twas wicked of us, my dear, but we — we
122
in.] Quality Street
thought that you and Miss Livvy were the
same person. (They have evidently been
stalking CHARLOTTE in MISS PHOEBE'S cloak.
MISS SUSAN shudders, but MISS PHOEBE
utters a cry of reproach, and it is some
time before they can persuade her to forgive
them. It is of course also some time before
we can forgive MISS PHOEBE.) Phoebe, you
look so pretty. Are they paying you no
attentions, my dear?
(PHOEBE is unable to resist these de-
lightful openings. The imploring
looks MISS SUSAN gives her but add
to her enjoyment. It is as if the
sense of fun she had caged a moment
ago were broke loose again.}
PHOEBE
Alas, they think of none but Livvy. They
come to me merely to say that they adore
her.
MISS HENRIETTA
Surely not Captain Brown ?
PHOEBE
He is infatuate about her.
123
Quality Street [ACT
MISS FANNY
Poor Phoebe !
( They make much of her, and she purrs
naughtily to their stroking, with
lightning peeps at MISS SUSAN.
Affronted Providence seeks to pay
lier out by sending ENSIGN BLADES
into tJie tent. Then the close ob-
server may see MISS PHOEBE'S heart
sink like a bucket in a well. MISS
SUSAN steals from the tent.}
MISS HENRIETTA
Mr. Blades, I have been saying that if I
were a gentleman I would pay my addresses
to Miss Phoebe much rather than to her niece.
BLADES
Ma'am, excuse me.
MISS HENRIETTA
(Indignant that MISS PHOEBE should be
slighted so publicly) Sir, you are a most un-
gallant and deficient young man.
BLADES
Really, ma'am, I assure you —
124
in.] Quality Street
MISS HENRIETTA
Not another word, sir.
PHOEBE
(/;/ her most old-inaidisJi manner} Miss
Fanny, Miss Henrietta, it is time I spoke
plainly to this gentleman. Please leave him
to me. Surely 'twill come best from me.
MISS HENRIETTA
Indeed, yes, if it be not too painful to you.
PHOEBE
I must do my duty.
MISS FANNY
(Wistfully] If we could remain —
PHOEBE
Would it be seemly, Miss Fanny ?
MISS HENRIETTA
Come, Fanny. (To BLADES) Sir, you bring
your punishment upon yourself.
(They press PHOEBE'S hand, and go.
Her heart returns to its usual
abode}
125
Quality Street [ACT
BLADES
(Bewildered] Are you angry with me, Miss
Livvy ?
PHOEBE
•Oh, no.
BLADES
Miss Livvy, I have something to say to
you of supreme importance to me. With
regard to my complexion, I am aware, Miss
Livvy, that it has retained a too youthful
bloom. My brother officers comment on it
with a certain lack of generosity. (Anxiously]
Might I inquire, ma'am, whether you regard
my complexion as a subject for light talk.
PHOEBE
No indeed, sir, I only wish I had it.
BLADES
(U^Jw lias Jiad no intention of offering, but
is suddenly carried off Jiis feet by the excellence
of the opportunity, which is no doubt re-
sponsible for many proposals] Miss Livvy,
ma'am, you may have it.
(She has a great and humorous long-
ing that she could turn before his
affrighted eyes into the schoolmistress
126
in.] Quality Street
she really is. She would endure much
to be able at this moment to say, ' I
have listened to you, ENSIGN BLADES,
with attention, but I am really MISS
PHOEBE, and I tnust now request you
to fetch me the implement! Under
the shock, would he have surrendered
liis palm for punishment ? It can
never be known, for as she looks at
him longingly, LIEUTENANT SPICER
enters, and he mistakes the meaning
of that longing look.}
SPICER
'Tis my dance, ma'am — 'tis not Ensign
Blades'.
BLADES
Leave us, sir. We have matter of moment
to discuss.
SPICER
(Fearing the worst] His affection, Miss
Livvy, is not so deep as mine. He is a light
and shallow nature.
PHOEBE
Pooh ! You are both light and shallow
natures.
127
Quality Street [ACT
BLADES
Both, ma'am ? (But lie is not sure tliat he
has not had a miraculous escape?)
PHOEBE
\
(Severely] 'Tis such as you, with your foolish
flirting ways, that confuse the minds of women
and make us try to be as silly as yourselves.
SPICER
(Crushed] Ma'am.
PHOEBE
I did not mean to hurt you. (She takes a
hand of each and tries to advise them as if
her curls were once more hidden under a cap.]
You are so like little boys in a school. Do be
good. Sit here beside me. I know you are
very brave —
BLADES
Ha!
PHOEBE
And when you come back from the wars it
must be so delightful to you to flirt with the
ladies again.
SPICER
Oh, ma'am.
128
:
PHOEBE
As soon as you see a lady with a pretty nose
you cannot help saying that you adore her
in.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
As soon as you see a lady with a pretty nose
you cannot help saying that you adore her.
BLADES
(In an ecstasy] Nay, I swear.
PHOEBE
And you offer to her, not from love, but
because you are so deficient in conversation.
SPICER
Charming, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE
(IVith sudden irritation} Oh, sir, go away ;
go away, both of you, and read improving
books.
( They are cast down. She has not been
quite fair to these gallants, for it
is not really of them she has grown
weary so mncJi as of tJie lady they
temporarily adore. If MISS PHOEBE
were to analyse her feelings she
would find that licr remark is
addressed to LIVVY, and that it
means, '/ have enjoyed for a little
pretending to be you, but I am not
R 129
Quality Street [ACT
you and I do not wish to be you.
Your glitter and the airs of you and
the racket of yoit tire me, I want to
be done with you, and to be back in
quiet Quality Street, of which I am
a part ; it is really pleasant to me
to know that I shall wake up to-
morrow slightly middle-aged.'1 With
the entrance of CAPTAIN BROWN,
however, she is at once a frivol again.
He frowns at sight of her cavaliers^}
VALENTINE
Gentlemen, I instructed this lady to rest,
and I am surprised to find you in attendance.
Miss Livvy, you must be weary of their
fatuities, and I have taken the liberty to order
your chaise.
PHOEBE
It is indeed a liberty.
BLADES
An outrage.
PHOEBE
I prefer to remain.
VALENTINE
Nay.
130
in.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
I promised this dance to Ensign Blades.
SPICER
To me, ma'am.
PHOEBE
And the following one to Lieutenant Spicer.
Mr. Blades, your arm.
VALENTINE
I forbid any further dancing.
PHOEBE
Forbid. La !
BLADES
Sir, by what right —
VALENTINE
By a right which I hope to make clear to Miss
Livvy as soon as you gentlemen have retired.
(PHOEBE sees that tJie declaration is
coming. She steels herself.}
PHOEBE
I am curious to know what Captain Brown
can have to say to me. In a few minutes, Mr.
Blades, Lieutenant Spicer, I shall be at your
service.
Quality Street [ACT m.
VALENTINE
I trust not.
PHOEBE
I give them my word.
(The young gentlemen retire, treading
air once more. BROWN surveys her
rather grimly '.)
VALENTINE
You are an amazing pretty girl, ma'am, but
you are a shocking flirt.
PHOEBE
La!
VALENTINE
It has somewhat diverted me to watch them
go down before you. But I know you have a
kind heart, and that if there be a rapier in your
one hand there is a handkerchief in the other
ready to staunch their wounds.
PHOEBE
I have not observed that they bled much.
VALENTINE
The Blades and the like, no. But one may,
perhaps.
132
You are a shocking flirt
PHOEBE
(Obviously the reference is to himself} Per-
haps I may wish to see him bleed.
VALENTINE
(Grown stern} For shame, Miss Livvy.
133
Quality Street [ACT
(Anger rises in her, but she wishes him to
Proceed.} I speak, ma'am, in the interests of
the man to whom I hope to see you affianced.
(No, she does not wish him to proceed.
She had esteemed him for so long, she
cannot have him debase himself before
her now.}
PHOEBE
Shall we — I have changed my mind, I con-
sent to go home. Please to say nothing.
VALENTINE
Nay —
PHOEBE
I beg you.
VALENTINE
No. We must have it out.
PHOEBE
Then if you must go on, do so. But re-
member I begged you to desist. Who is this
happy man ?
(His next words are a great shock to
her.}
VALENTINE
As to who he is, ma'am, of course I have no
notion. Nor, I am sure, have you, else you
134
in.] Quality Street
would be more guarded in your conduct. But
some day, Miss Livvy, the right man will
come. Not to be able to tell him all, would
it not be hard ? And how could you acquaint
him with this poor sport? His face would
change, ma'am, as you told him of it, and
yours would be a false face until it was told.
This is what I have been so desirous to say to
you — by the right of a friend.
PHOEBE
(In a low voice but bravely) I see.
VALENTINE
(Afraid tJiat lie has liurt her) It has been
hard to say and I have done it bunglingly.
Ah, but believe me, Miss Livvy, it is not the
flaunting flower men love ; it is the modest
violet.
PHOEBE
The modest violet ! You dare to say that.
VALENTINE
Yes, indeed, and when you are acquaint with
what love really is —
PHOEBE
Love ! What do you know of love ?
135
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
(A little complacently] Why, ma'am, I know
all about it. I am in love, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE
(With a disdainful inclination of tlie head]
I wish you happy.
VALENTINE
With a lady who was once very like you,
ma'am.
(At first PHOEBE does not understand,
tJien a suspicion of his meaning comes
to her.}
PHOEBE
Not — not — oh no.
VALENTINE
I had not meant to speak of it, but why
should not I ? It will be a fine lesson to you,
Miss Livvy. Ma'am, it is your Aunt Phoebe
whom I love.
PHOEBE
(Rigid] You do not mean that.
VALENTINE
Most ardently.
136
in.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
It is not true ; how dare you make sport of
her.
VALENTINE
Is it sport to wish she may be my wife ?
PHOEBE
Your wife !
VALENTINE
If I could win her.
PHOEBE
(Bewildered] May I solicit, sir, for how long
you have been attached to Miss Phoebe?
VALENTINE
For nine years, I think.
PHOEBE
You think !
VALENTINE
I want to be honest. Never in all that time
had I thought myself in love. Your aunts
were my dear friends, and while I was at the
wars we sometimes wrote to each other, but
they were only friendly letters. I presume the
affection was too placid to be love.
PHOEBE
I think that would be Aunt Phoebe's opinion,
s 137
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
Yet I remember, before we went into action
for the first time — I suppose the fear of death
was upon me — some of them were making their
wills — I have no near relative — I left everything
to these two ladies.
PHOEBE
(Softly) Did you ?
(IVhat is it that MISS PHOEBE begins to
see as she sits there so quietly, with
her hands pressed together as if itpon
some treasttre ? It is PHOEBE of the
ringlets with the stain taken out of
her.}
VALENTINE
And when I returned a week ago and saw
Miss Phoebe, grown so tired-looking and so
poor —
PHOEBE
The shock made you feel old, I know.
VALENTINE
No, Miss Livvy, but it filled me with a
sudden passionate regret that I had not gone
down in that first engagement. They would
have been very comfortably left.
138
in.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
Oh, sir !
VALENTINE
I am not calling it love.
PHOEBE
It was sweet and kind, but it was not love.
VALENTINE
It is love now.
PHOEBE
No, it is only pity.
VALENTINE
It is love.
PHOEBE
(She smiles tremulously) You really mean
Phoebe — tired, unattractive Phoebe, that woman
whose girlhood is gone. Nay, impossible.
VALENTINE
(Stoutly) Phoebe of the fascinating playful
ways, whose ringlets were once as pretty as
yours, ma'am. I have visited her in her home
several times this week — you were always out
-I thank you for that ! I was alone with her,
and with fragrant memories of her.
139
Qualify Street [ACT
PHOEBE
Memories ! Yes, that is the Phoebe you
love, the bright girl of the past — not the school-
mistress in her old-maid's cap.
VALENTINE
There you wrong me, for I have discovered
for myself that the schoolmistress in her old-
maid's cap is the noblest Miss Phoebe of them
all. (If only he would go away, and let MISS
PHOEBE cry.} When I enlisted, I remember
I compared her to a garden. I have often
thought of that.
PHOEBE
'Tis an old garden now.
VALENTINE
The paths, ma'am, are better shaded.
PHOEBE
The flowers have grown old-fashioned.
VALENTINE
They smell the sweeter. Miss Livvy, do
you think there is any hope for me ?
140
in.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
There was a man whom Miss Phoebe loved
— long ago. He did not love her.
VALENTINE
Now here was a fool !
PHOEBE
He kissed her once.
VALENTINE
If Miss Phoebe suffered him to do that she
thought he loved her.
PHOEBE
Yes, yes. (She has to ask him the ten years
old question} Do you opinion that this makes
her action in allowing it less reprehensible?
It has been such a pain to her ever since.
VALENTINE
How like Miss Phoebe ! (Sternly] But that
man \vas a knave.
PHOEBE
No, he was a good man — only a little —
inconsiderate. She knows now that he has
141
Quality Street [ACT
even forgotten that he did it. I suppose men
are like that ?
VALENTINE
No, Miss Livvy, men are not like that. I
am a very average man, but I thank God I am
not like that.
PHOEBE
It was you.
VALENTINE
(After a pause) Did Miss Phoebe say that?
PHOEBE
Yes.
VALENTINE
Then it is true.
(He is very grave and quiet.}
PHOEBE
It was raining and her face was wet. You
said you did it because her face was wet.
VALENTINE
I had quite forgotten.
PHOEBE
But she remembers, and how often do you
think the shameful memory has made her face
wet since ? The face you love, Captain Brown,
142
in.] Quality Street
you were the first to give it pain. The tired
eyes — how much less tired they might be if they
had never known you. You who are torturing
me with every word, what have you done to
Miss Phoebe? You who think you can bring
back the bloom to that faded garden, and all the
pretty airs and graces that fluttered round it
once like little birds before the nest is torn
down — bring them back to her if you can, sir ;
it was you who took them away.
VALENTINE
I vow I shall do my best to bring them
back. (MISS PHOEBE shakes her head.} Miss
Livvy, with your help
PHOEBE
My help ! I have not helped. I tried to
spoil it all.
VALENTINE
(Smiling] To spoil it ? You mean that you
sought to flirt even with me. Ah, I knew you
did. But that is nothing.
PHOEBE
Oh, sir, if you could overlook it.
143
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
I do.
PHOEBE
And forget these hateful balls.
VALENTINE
Hateful ! Nay, I shall never call them that.
They have done me too great a service. It
was at the balls that I fell in love with Miss
Phoebe.
PHOEBE
What can you mean ?
VALENTINE
She who was never at a ball ! (Checking
himself Jin moron sly?) But I must not tell
you, it might hurt you.
PHOEBE
Tell me.
VALENTINE
(Gaily) Then on your own head be the
blame. It is you who have made me love
her, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE
Sir?
144
in.] Quality Street
VALENTINE
Yes, it is odd, and yet very simple. You
who so resembled her as she was ! for an hour,
ma'am, you bewitched me ; yes, I confess it,
but 'twas only for an hour. How like, I cried at
first, but soon it was, how unlike. There was
almost nothing she would have said that you
said ; you did so much that she would have
scorned to do. But I must not say these
things to you !
PHOEBE
I ask it of you, Captain Brown.
VALENTINE
Well ! Miss Phoebe's ' lady-likeness,' on
which she set such store that I used to make
merry of the word — I gradually perceived that
it is a woman's most beautiful garment, and
the casket which contains all the adorable
qualities that go to the making of a perfect
female. When Miss Livvy rolled her eyes —
ah I (He stops apologetically^
PHOEBE
Proceed, sir.
T 145
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
It but made me the more complacent that
never in her life had Miss Phoebe been guilty
of the slightest deviation from the strictest
propriety. (She shudders.} I was always con-
ceiving her in your place. Oh, it was mon-
strous unfair to you. I stood looking at you,
Miss Livvy, and seeing in my mind her and
the pretty things she did, and you did not do ;
why, ma'am, that is how I fell in love with
Miss Phoebe at the balls.
PHOEBE
I thank you.
VALENTINE
Ma'am, tell me, do you think there is any
hope for me ?
PHOEBE
Hope!
VALENTINE
I shall go to her. ' Miss Phoebe,' I will say
— oh, ma'am, so reverently — ' Miss Phoebe,
my beautiful, most estimable of women, let me
take care of you for ever more/
(MISS PHOEBE presses the words to her
heart and then drops
146
in.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
Beautiful. La, Aunt Phoebe !
VALENTINE
Ah, ma'am, you may laugh at a rough soldier
so much enamoured, but 'tis true. ' Marry me,
Miss Phoebe,' I will say, ' and I will take you
back through those years of hardships that
have made your sweet eyes too patient. In-
stead of growing older you shall grow younger.
We will travel back together to pick up the
many little joys and pleasures you had to pass
by when you trod that thorny path alone.'
PHOEBE
Can't be — can't be.
VALENTINE
Nay, Miss Phoebe has loved me. Tis you
have said it.
PHOEBE
I did not mean to tell you.
VALENTINE
She will be my wife yet.
PHOEBE
Never.
147
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
You are severe, Miss Livvy. But it is
because you are partial to her, and I am
happy of that.
PHOEBE
(/// growing IwYYor of herself] I partial to
her! I am laughing at both of you. Miss
Phoebe. La, that old thing.
VALENTINE
(Sternly) Silence !
PHOEBE
I hate her and despise her. If you knew
what she is
(He stops her with a gesture?)
VALENTINE
I know what you are.
PHOEBE
That paragon who has never been guilty
of the slightest deviation from the strictest
propriety.
VALENTINE
Never.
PHOEBE
That garden —
148
Quality Street
VALENTINE
Miss Livvy, for shame.
PHOEBE
Your garden has been destroyed, sir ; the
weeds have entered it, and all the flowers are
choked.
VALENTINE
You false woman, what do you mean ?
PHOEBE
I will tell you. (But his confidence awes
her.} What faith you have in her.
VALENTINE
As in my God. Speak.
PHOEBE
I cannot tell you.
VALENTINE
No, you cannot.
PHOEBE
It is too horrible.
VALENTINE
You are too horrible. Is not that it ?
149
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
Yes, that is it.
(MISS SUSAN has entered and caught the
last words.}
MISS SUSAN
(Shrinking as from a coming blow) What is
too horrible ?
VALENTINE
Ma'am, I leave the telling of it to her, if she
dare. And I devoutly hope those are the last
words I shall ever address to this lady.
(He bows and goes out in dudgeon.
MISS SUSAN believes all is discovered
and tliat MISS PHOEBE is for ever
shamed?)
MISS SUSAN
(Taking PHOEBE in her arms] My love, my
dear, what terrible thing has he said to you ?
PHOEBE
(Forgetting everything but that site is loved]
Not terrible — glorious ! Susan, 'tis Phoebe
150
in.] Quality Street
he loves, 'tis me, not Livvy ! He loves me,
he loves me ! Me — Phoebe !
(MISS SUSAN'S bosom swells. It is her
great hour as much as PHOEBE'S.)
End of Act III.
Set A-.
U
Act IV
THE BLUE AND WHITE ROOM
IF we could shut our eyes to the two sisters sitting' here
in zuoe, this would be, to the male eye at least, the identi-
cal blue and white room of ten years ago ; the same
sun shining into it and playing familiarly with Miss
Susans treasures. But the ladies are changed. It is
not merely that Miss Phoebe has again donned her
schoolmistress's gown and hidden her curls under the
cap. To see her thus once more, her real self, after the
escapade of the ball, is not unpleasant, and the cap and
gown do not ill become the quiet room. But she now
turns guiltily from the sun that used to be her intimate,
her face is drawn, her form condensed into the smallest
space, and her hands lie trembling in her lap. It is
disquieting to note that any life there is in the room
comes not from her but from Miss Susan. If the
house were to go on fire now it would be she who would
have to carry out Miss Phoebe.
Whatever of import has happened since the ball,
Patty knows it, and is enjoying it. We see this as she
ushers in Miss Willonghby. Note also, with concern,
that at mention of the visitor s name the eyes of the
sisters turn affrightedly, not to the door by which
their old friend enters, but to the closed door of the
spare bed-chamber. Patty also gives it a meaning
glance ; then the three look at each other, and two of
them blanch.
155
Qualify Street [ACT
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(The fourth to look at the door) I am just
run across, Susan, to inquire how Miss Livvy
does now.
MISS SUSAN
She is still very poorly, Mary.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
I am so unhappy of that. I conceive it to
be a nervous disorder ?
MISS SUSAN
(Almost too glibly] Accompanied by trem-
bling, flutterings, and spasms.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
The excitements of the ball. You have
summoned the apothecary at last, I trust,
Phoebe ?
(MISS PHOEBE, once so ready of defence,
can say nothing^
MISS SUSAN
(To tlie rescue] It is Livvy's own wish that
he should not be consulted.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(Looking longingly at the door] May I go
in to see her?
156
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
I fear not, Mary. She is almost asleep, and
it is best not to disturb her. (Peeping into
tlie bedroom] Lie quite still, Livvy, my love,
quite still.
(Somehow this makes PATTY smile so
broadly that she finds it advisable to
retire. MISS WILLOUGHBY sighs, and
produces a small bowl from the folds
of Jiev cloak.}
MISS WILLOUGHBY
This is a little arrowroot, of which I hope
Miss Livvy will be so obliging as to partake.
MISS SUSAN
(Taking the bowl] I thank you, Mary.
PHOEBE
(Ashamed] Susan, we ought not --
MISS SUSAN
(Shameless] I will take it to her while it is
still warm.
(She goes into the bedroom. MISS
WILLOUGHBY gazes at MISS PHOEBE,
who certainly shrinks. It has not
157
Quality Street [ACT
escaped the notice of the visitor that
MISS PHOEBE has become the more
timid of the sisters, and she has
evolved an explanation^]
MISS WILLOUGHBY
Phoebe, has Captain Brown been apprised
of Miss Livvy's illness?
PHOEBE
(Uncomfortably^ I think not, Miss Wil-
loughby.
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(Sorry for PHOEBE, and speaking very kindly]
Is this right, Phoebe ? You informed Fanny
and Henrietta at the ball of his partiality for
Livvy. My dear, it is hard for you, but have
you any right to keep them apart ?
PHOEBE
(Discovering only now what are the sns-
picioiis of her friends] Is that what you think
I am doing, Miss Willoughby?
MISS WILLOUGHBY
Such a mysterious illness. (Sweetly) Long
ago, Phoebe, I once caused much unhappiness
through foolish jealousy. That is why I venture
to hope that you will not be as I was, my dear.
158
Quality Street
PHOEBE
I jealous of Livvy !
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(lyith a sigh] I thought as little of the lady
I refer to, but he thought otherwise.
PHOEBE
Indeed, Miss Willoughby, you wrong me.
(But MISS WILLOUGHBY does not entirely
believe her, and there is a pause, so
long a pause that unfortunately MISS
SUSAN thinks she Jias left the housed)
MISS SUSAN
(Peeping in] Is she gone?
MISS WILLOUGHBY
(Hurf) No, Susan, but I am going.
MISS SUSAN
(Distressed] Mary !
(She follows her out, but MISS WIL-
LOUGHBY will not be comforted, and
there is a coldness between them for
the rest of the day. MISS SUSAN
is not so abashed as she ought to
be. She returns, and partakes with
avidity of the arrowroot.}
159
mm ^m
They are always ivatching
VALENTINE
/ regret that they are out, Patty, but I will
await their return
,
ACT iv.] Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, I am well aware that this is wrong
of me, but Mary's arrowroot is so delicious.
The ladies'-fingers and petticoat-tails those
officers sent to Livvy, I ate them also ! (Once
on a time this would have amused MISS PHOEBE,
but Jier sense of humour has gone. Slie is cry-
ing?) Phoebe, if you have such remorse you
will weep yourself to death.
PHOEBE
Oh, sister, were it not for you, how gladly
would I go into a decline.
MISS SUSAN
(After she has soothed PHOEBE a little]
My dear, what is to be done about her ? We
cannot have her supposed to be here for ever.
PHOEBE
We had to pretend that she was ill to keep
her out of sight ; and now we cannot say she
has gone away, for the Miss Willoughby's
windows command our door, and they are
always watching.
x 161
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
(Peeping from the window} I see Fanny
watching now. I feel, Phoebe, as if Livvy
really existed.
PHOEBE
(Mournfully] We shall never be able to
esteem ourselves again.
MISS SUSAN
(Who lias in her the makings of a desperate
criminal} Phoebe, why not marry him? If
only we could make him think that Livvy had
gone home. Then he need never know.
PHOEBE
Susan, you pain me. She who marries with-
out telling all — hers must ever be a false face.
They are his own words.
(PATTY enters importantly}
PATTY
Captain Brown.
PHOEBE
(Starting up} I wrote to him, begging him
not to come.
162
Street
MISS SUSAN
(Quickly] Patty, I am sorry we are out.
(But VALENTINE lias entered in time to
hear lier words?)
VALENTINE
(Not iinmindful tJiat this is the room in
winch he is esteemed a wif) I regret that they
are out, Patty, but I will await their return.
(TJie astonishing man sits on the ottoman
beside MISS SUSAN, but politely ignores Jier
presence.") It is not my wish to detain you,
Patty.
(PATTY goes reluctantly, and the sisters
think how like him, and how delight-
ful it would be if they were still the
patterns of propriety he considers
them.}
PHOEBE
(Bravely) Captain Brown.
VALENTINE
(Rising] You, Miss Phoebe. I hear Miss
Livvy is indisposed?
163
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
She is — very poorly.
VALENTINE
But it is not that unpleasant girl I have
come to see, it is you.
MISS SUSAN
(Meekly'] How do you do ?
VALENTINE
(Ignoring her] And I am happy, Miss Phoebe,
to find you alone.
MISS SUSAN
(Appealingly] How do you do, sir?
PHOEBE
You know quite well, sir, that Susan is here.
VALENTINE
Nay, ma'am, excuse me. I heard Miss
Susan say she was gone out. Miss Susan is
incapable of prevarication.
164
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
(Rising— helpless] What am I to do ?
PHOEBE
Don't go, Susan — 'tis what he wants.
VALENTINE
I have her word that she is not present.
MISS SUSAN
Oh dear.
VALENTINE
My faith in Miss Susan is absolute. (At
this she retires into the bedroom, and im-
mediately his manner cJianges. He takes MISS
PHOEBE'S hands into his own kind ones] You
coward, Miss Phoebe, to be afraid of Valentine
Brown.
PHOEBE
I wrote and begged you not to come.
VALENTINE
You implied as a lover, Miss Phoebe, but
surely always as a friend.
PHOEBE
Oh yes, yes.
165
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
You told Miss Livvy that you loved me
once. How carefully you hid it from me I
PHOEBE
(More firmly] A woman must never tell.
You went away to the great battles. I was
left to fight in a little one. Women have a
flag to fly, Mr. Brown, as well as men, and old
maids have a flag as well as women. I tried
to keep mine flying.
VALENTINE
But you ceased to care for me. (^Tenderly)
I dare ask your love no more, but I still ask
you to put yourself into my keeping. Miss
Phoebe, let me take care of you.
PHOEBE
It cannot be.
VALENTINE
This weary teaching! Let me close your
school.
PHOEBE
Please, sir.
VALENTINE
If not for your own sake, I ask you, Miss
Phoebe, to do it for mine. In memory of the
1 66
Quality Street
thoughtless recruit who went off laughing to
the wars. They say ladies cannot quite forget
the man who has used them ill ; Miss Phoebe,
do it for me because I used you ill.
PHOEBE
I beg you — no more.
VALENTINE
(Manfully) There, it is all ended. Miss
Phoebe, here is my hand on it.
PHOEBE
What will you do now?
VALENTINE
I also must work. I will become a physician
again, with some drab old housekeeper to
neglect me and the house. Do you foresee
the cobwebs gathering and gathering, Miss
Phoebe ?
PHOEBE
Oh, sir!
VALENTINE
You shall yet see me in Quality Street, wear-
ing my stock all awry.
PHOEBE
Oh, oh !
167
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
And with snuff upon my sleeve.
PHOEBE
Sir, sir !
VALENTINE
No skulker, ma'am, I hope, but gradually
turning into a grumpy, crusty, bottle-nosed
old bachelor.
PHOEBE
Oh, Mr. Brown !
VALENTINE
And all because you will not walk across the
street with me.
PHOEBE
Indeed, sir, you must marry — and I hope it
may be some one who is really like a garden.
VALENTINE
I know but one. That reminds me, Miss
Phoebe, of something I had forgot. (He pro-
duces a paper from his pocket?) Tis a trifle I
have wrote about you. But I fear to trouble you.
(PHOEBE'S hands go out longingly for it.}
PHOEBE
(Reading) ' Lines to a Certain Lady, who is
1 68
Miss Hetiriettti and Miss Fanny, encouraged
by his sympathy, draw nearer the door of tin-
interest ing bed-chamber
iv.] Ona/itv Street
t*~> ^
Modestly unaware of her Resemblance to a
Garden. Wrote by her servant, V. B.'
(T/ie beauty of this makes her falter.
She looks up.)
VALENTINE
(With a poefs pride) There is more of it,
ma'am.
PHOEBE
(Reading)
The lilies are her pretty thoughts,
Her shoulders are the may,
Her smiles are all forget-me-nots,
The path 's her gracious way,
The roses that do line it are
Her fancies walking round,
'Tis sweetly smelling lavender
In which my lady's gowned.
(MISS PHOEBE has thought herself strong,
but sJie is not able to read such
exquisite lines without betraying
JierseJf to a lover s gaze)
VALENTINE
{Excitedly) Miss Phoebe, when did you cease
to care for me ?
Y 169
Quality Street [ACT
PHOEBE
(Retreating from Jiim but clinging to her
poeni) You promised not to ask.
VALENTINE
I know not why you should, Miss Phoebe,
but I believe you love me still !
(MISS PHOEBE has the terrified appear-
ance of a detected felon .)
(MISS SUSAN returns?)
MISS SUSAN
You are talking so loudly.
VALENTINE
Miss Susan, does she care for me still?
MISS SUSAN
(Forgetting her pride of sex) Oh, sir, how
could she help it.
VALENTINE
Then by Gad, Miss Phoebe, you shall marry
me though I have to carry you in my arms to
the church.
PHOEBE
Sir, how can you !
170
Quality Street
(But MISS SUSAN gives her a look which
means tliat it must be done if only
to avoid such a scandal. It is at
this inopportune moment t/iat MISS
HENRIETTA and MISS FANNY are
announced]
MISS HENRIETTA
I think Miss Willoughby has already popped
in.
PHOEBE
(With a little spirit] Yes, indeed.
MISS SUSAN
(A mistress of sarcasm] How is Mary,
Fanny? She has not been to see us for
several minutes.
MISS FANNY
(Somewhat daunted] Mary is so partial to
you, Susan.
VALENTINE
Your servant, Miss Henrietta, Miss Fanny.
MISS FANNY
How do you do, sir?
171
Quality Street [ACT
MISS HENRIETTA
(Wistfully) And how do you find Miss
Livvy, sir?
VALENTINE
I have not seen her, Miss Henrietta.
MISS HENRIETTA
Indeed I
MISS FANNY
Not even you ?
VALENTINE
You seem surprised ?
MISS FANNY
Nay, sir, you must not say so ; but really,
Phoebe !
PHOEBE
Fanny, you presume !
VALENTINE
(Puzzled] If one of you ladies would deign
to enlighten me. To begin with, what is
Miss Livvy's malady?
MISS HENRIETTA
He does not, know? Oh, Phoebe.
172
iv.] Qualify Street
VALENTINE
Ladies, have pity on a dull man, and explain.
MISS FANNY
(Timidly] Please not to ask us to explain.
I fear we have already said more than was
proper. Phoebe, forgive.
(To CAPTAIN BROWN this but adds to tJie
mystery, and lie looks to PHOEBE for
enlightenment^
PHOEBE
(Desperate) I understand, sir, there is a
belief that I keep Livvy in confinement because
of your passion for her.
VALENTINE
My passion for Miss Livvy? Why, Miss
Fanny, I cannot abide her — nor she me.
(Looking manfully at MISS PHOEBE.) Further-
more, I am proud to tell you that this is the
lady whom I adore.
MISS FANNY
Phoebe?
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
Yes, ma'am.
(The ladies are for a moment bereft
of speech, and the uplifted PHOEBE
cannot refrain from a movement
which, if completed, would be a
curtsey. Her punishment follows
promptly.}
MISS HENRIETTA
(From tier heart] Phoebe, I am so happy
'tis you.
MISS FANNY
Dear Phoebe, I give you joy. And you
also, sir. (MISS PHOEBE sends her sister a
glance of unutterable woe, and escapes from
the room. It is most ill-bred of her] Miss
Susan, I do not understand !
MISS HENRIETTA
Is it that Miss Livvy is an obstacle?
MISS SUSAN
(Who knows that there is no hope for her but
in flight] I think I hear Phoebe calling me —
a sudden indisposition. Pray excuse me,
Henrietta. (She goes.]
'74
Qitality Street
MISS HENRIETTA
We know not, sir, whether to offer you our
felicitations ?
VALENTINE
(Cogitating] May I ask, ma'am, what you
mean by an obstacle? Is there some mystery
about Miss Livvy ?
MISS HENRIETTA
So much so, sir, that we at one time thought
she and Miss Phoebe were the same person.
VALENTINE
Pshaw 1
MISS FANNY
Why will they admit no physician into her
presence ?
MISS HENRIETTA
The blinds of her room are kept most art-
fully drawn.
MISS FANNY
(Plaintively) We have never seen her, sir.
Neither Miss Susan nor Miss Phoebe will
present her to us.
VALENTINE
(Impressed] Indeed.
175
Quality Street [ACT
(MISS HENRIETTA and MISS FANNY, €11-
couragcd by his sympathy, draw
nearer f/ic door of the interesting bed-
chamber. They falter. Any one who
thinks, however, that they would so far
forget themselves as to open the door
and peep in, has no understanding of
t/ic ladies of Quality Street. They
are, nevertheless, not perfect ', for 'Miss
HENRIETTA knocks on the door]
MISS HENRIETTA
How do you find yourself, dear Miss
Livvy ?
(T/iere is no answer. It is our pride to
record that they come away without
even tonclting the handle. They look
appealing at CAPTAIN BROWN, whose
face has grown grave?)
VALENTINE
I think, ladies, as a physician —
(He walks into the bedroom. They feel
an ignoble drawing to follow him, but
do not yield to it. JVhen he returns
/i is face is inscrutable.}
176
VALENTINE
She -will recover
Quality Street
MISS HENRIETTA
Is she very poorly, sir?
VALENTINE
Ha.
MISS FANNY
We did not hear you address her.
VALENTINE
She is not awake, ma'am.
MISS HENRIETTA
It is provoking.
MISS FANNY
(Stenily just) They informed Mary that she
was nigh asleep.
VALENTINE
It is not a serious illness I think, ma'am.
With the permission of Miss Phoebe and Miss
Susan I will make myself more acquaint with
her disorder presently. (He is desiiwis to be
alone) But we must not talk lest we disturb
her.
MISS FANNY
You suggest our retiring, sir?
z 177
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
Nay, Miss Fanny-
Miss FANNY
You are very obliging ; but I think, Henri-
etta-
Miss HENRIETTA
(Rising) Yes, Fanny.
(No doubt they are the more ready to
depart that they wish to inform MISS
WILLOUGHBY at once of these st range
doings. As they go, MISS SUSAN and
MISS PHOEBE return, and the adieux
are less elaborate than tisual. Neither
visitors nor hostesses quite know what
to say. MISS SUSAN is merely relieved
to see them leave, but MISS PHOEBE
lias read something in their manner
that makes her uneasy?)
PHOEBE
Why have they departed so hurriedly, sir ?
They — -they did not go in to see Livvy?
VALENTINE
No. (She reads danger in his face]
178
Quality Street
PHOEBE
Why do you look at me so strangely ?
VALENTINE
(Somewhat stern] Miss Phoebe, I desire to
see Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE
Impossible.
VALENTINE
Why impossible? They tell me strange
stories about no one's seeing her. Miss Phoebe,
I will not leave this house until I have seen
her.
PHOEBE
You cannot. (But he is very determined,
and she is afraid of him.} Will you excuse
me, sir, while I talk with Susan behind the
door?
(The sisters go guiltily into the bedroom,
and CAPTAIN BROWN after some hesita-
tion rings for PATTY.)
VALENTINE
Patty, come here. Why is this trick being
played upon me?
179
Quality Street [ACT
PATTY
all her wits about her] Trick, sir!
Who would dare ?
VALENTINE
I know, Patty, that Miss Phoebe has been
Miss Livvy all the time.
PATTY
I give in !
VALENTINE
Why has she done this ?
PATTY
(Beseechingly] Are you laughing, sir?
VALENTINE
I am very far from laughing.
PATTY
(Turning on him] 'Twas you that began it,
all by not knowing her in the white gown.
VALENTINE
Why has this deception been kept up so
long?
PATTY
Because you would not see through it. Oh,
1 80
iv.] Quality Street
the wicked denseness. She thought you were
infatuate with Miss Livvy because she was
young and silly.
VALENTINE
It is infamous.
PATTY
I will not have you call her names. 'Twas
all playful innocence at first, and now she is
so feared of you she is weeping her soul to
death, and all I do I cannot rouse her. ' I ha'
a follower in the kitchen, ma'am,' says I, to
infuriate her. ' Give him a glass of cowslip
wine,' says she, like a gentle lamb. And ill
she can afford it, you having lost their money
for them.
VALENTINE
What is that? On the contrary, all the
money they have, Patty, they owe to my
having invested it for them.
PATTY
That is the money they lost.
VALENTINE
You are sure of that ?
181
Quality Street [ACT
PATTY
I can swear to it.
VALENTINE
Deceived me about that also. Good God ;
but why ?
PATTY
I think she was feared you would offer to
her out of pity. She said something to Miss
Susan about keeping a flag flying. What she
meant I know not. (But lie knows, and he
turns away Ins face.} Are you laughing,
sir?
VALENTINE
No, Patty, I am not laughing. Why do
they not say Miss Livvy has gone home? It
would save them a world of trouble.
PATTY
The Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta
— they watch the house all day. They would
say she cannot be gone, for we did not see her
g°-
VALENTINE
(Enlightened at last] I see 1
182
Quality Street
PATTY
And Miss Phoebe and Miss Susan wring
their hands, for they are feared Miss Livvy is
bedridden here for all time. (Now his sense
of /tumour asserts itself?) Thank the Lord,
you're laughing!
(At tliis he laugJis the more, and it
is a gay CAPTAIN BROWN on whom
MISS SUSAN opens the bedroom door.
This desperate woman is too full of
plot to note the change in him.)
MISS SUSAN
I am happy to inform you, sir, that Livvy
finds herself much improved.
VALENTINE
(Bowing) It is joy to me to hear it.
MISS SUSAN
She is coming in to see you.
PATTY
(Aghast} Oh, ma'am !
VALENTINE
(Frowning on PATTY) I shall be happy to see
the poor invalid.
183
Quality Street [ACT iv.
PATTY
Ma'am — !
(But MISS SUSAN, believing that so far
all is well, lias returned to the bed-
chamber, CAPTAIN BROWN bestows a
quizzical glance upon the maid.}
VALENTINE
Go away, Patty. Anon I may claim a
service of you, but for the present, go.
PATTY
But— but—
VALENTINE
Retire, woman.
(She has to go, and he prepares his
face for the reception of the invalid.
PHOEBE comes in without her cap,
the ringlets showing again. She
wears a dressing jacket and is sup-
ported by MISS SUSAN.)
VALENTINE
(Gravely] Your servant, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE
(Weakly] How do you do?
184
Patty has to go
VALENTINE
Allow me, Miss Susan.
(He fakes MISS SUSAN'S place ; but after
an exqtdsite moment MISS PHOEBE
breaks away from hint, feeling tJiat
sJie is not worthy of such bliss.}
PHOEBE
No, no, I — I can walk alone — see.
(She reclines upon the conch.}
2 A 185
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
How do you think she is looking?
(He makes a professional examination
of t/ie patient, and they are 'very
ashamed to deceive him, but not so
ashamed that they must confess.}
What do you think?
VALENTINE
(Solemnly] She will recover. May I say,
ma'am, it surprises me that any one should
see much resemblance between you and your
Aunt Phoebe. Miss Phoebe is decidedly
shorter and more thick-set.
PHOEBE
(Sitting up] No, I am not.
VALENTINE
I said Miss Phoebe, ma'am. (She reclines)
But tell me, is not Miss Phoebe to join us ?
PHOEBE
She hopes you will excuse her, sir.
1 86
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
(Vaguely) Taking the opportunity of airing
the room.
VALENTINE
Ah, of course.
MISS SUSAN
(Opening bedroom door and calling men-
daciously] Captain Brown will excuse you,
Phoebe.
VALENTINE
Certainly, Miss Susan. Well, ma'am, I
think I could cure Miss Livvy if she is put
unreservedly into my hands.
MISS SUSAN
a sigl?) I am sure you could.
VALENTINE
Then you are my patient, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE
(Nervously) Twas but a passing indisposi
tion, I am almost quite recovered.
187
Quality Street [ACT
VALENTINE
Nay, you still require attention. Do you
propose making a long stay in Quality Street,
ma'am ?
PHOEBE
I — I — I hope not. It — it depends.
MISS SUSAN
(Forgetting herself] Mary is the worst.
VALENTINE
I ask your pardon ?
PHOEBE
Aunt Susan, you are excited.
VALENTINE
But you are quite right, Miss Livvy ; home
is the place for you.
PHOEBE
Would that I could go !
VALENTINE
You are going.
PHOEBE
Yes — soon.
1 88
Quality Street
VALENTINE
Indeed, I have a delightful surprise for you,
Miss Livvy, you are going to-day.
PHOEBE
To-day ?
VALENTINE
Not merely to-day, but now. As it happens,
my carriage is standing idle at your door, and
I am to take you in it to your home — some
twenty miles if I remember.
PHOEBE
You are to take me ?
VALENTINE
Nay, 'tis no trouble at all, and as your
physician my mind is made up. Some wraps
for her, Miss Susan.
MISS SUSAN
But— but-
PHOEBE
(In a panic] Sir, I decline to go.
VALENTINE
Come, Miss Livvy, you are in my hands.
189
Qualify Street
ACT
PHOEBE
I decline. I am most determined.
VALENTINE
You admit yourself that you are recovered.
PHOEBE
I do not feel so well now. Aunt Susan I
MISS SUSAN
Sir
VALENTINE
If you wish to consult Miss Phoebe
MISS SUSAN
Oh, no.
VALENTINE
Then the wraps, Miss Susan.
PHOEBE
Auntie, don't leave me.
VALENTINE
What a refractory patient it is. But reason
with her, Miss Susan, and I shall ask Miss
Phoebe for some wraps.
190
iv.] Quality Street
PHOEBE
Sir!
( To their consternation lie goes cliecrily
into the bedroom. MISS PHOEBE saves
herself by instant fliglit, and nothing
but mesmeric influence keeps MISS
SUSAN rooted to the bine and white
room. I'Vhen lie returns lie is loaded
with wraps, and still cheerfully ani-
mated, as if lie liad found nothing
untoward in LIVVY'S bed-chamber]
VALENTINE
I think these will do admirably, Miss Susan.
MISS SUSAN
But Phoebe
VALENTINE
If I swathe Miss Livvy in these
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe
VALENTINE
She is still busy airing the room. (77te
extraordinary ?nan goes to the couch as if
unable to perceive that its late occupant has
191
Quality Street [ACT
gone, and MISS SUSAN watches him, fascinated!)
Come, Miss Livvy, put these over you. Allow
me — this one over your shoulders, so. Be so
obliging as to lean on me. Be brave, ma'am,
you cannot fall — my arm is round you ; gently,
gently, Miss Livvy ; ah, that is better ; we are
doing famously; come, come. Good-bye, Miss
Susan, I will take every care of her.
(He lias gone, with the bundle on his arm,
but MISS SUSAN does not wake up.
Even tlie banging of the outer door
is unable to rouse her. It is heard,
however, by MISS PHOEBE, who steals
back into the room, Jier cap upon her
head to give her courage.}
PHOEBE
He is gone ! (MISS SUSAN'S wrapt face alarms
her.} Oh, Susan, was he as dreadful as that ?
MISS SUSAN
(In tones unnatural to her} Phoebe, he
knows all.
PHOEBE
Yes, of course he knows all now. Sister,
did his face change? Oh, Susan, what did he
say?
192
Qualify Street
MISS SUSAN
He said ' Good-bye, Miss Susan.' That was
almost all he said.
PHOEBE
Did his eyes flash fire ?
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, it was what he did. He — he took
Livvy with him.
PHOEBE
Susan, dear, don't say that. You are not
distraught, are you ?
MISS SUSAN
(Clinging to facts] He did ; he wrapped her
up in a shawl.
PHOEBE
Susan ! You are Susan Throssel, my love.
You remember me, don't you ? Phoebe, your
sister. I was Livvy also, you know, Livvy.
MISS SUSAN
He took Livvy with him.
PHOEBE
(In woe) Oh, oh I sister, who am I ?
2B 193
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
You are Phoebe.
PHOEBE
And who was Livvy ?
MISS SUSAN
You were.
PHOEBE
Thank heaven.
MISS SUSAN
But he took her away in the carriage.
PHOEBE
Oh, dear ! (Site has quite forgotten her own
troubles now.} Susan, you will soon be well
again. Dear, let us occupy our minds. Shall
we draw up the advertisement for the re-
opening of the school ?
MISS SUSAN
I do so hate the school.
PHOEBE
Come, dear, come, sit down. Write, Susan.
(Dictating) ' The Misses Throssel have the
pleasure to announce '
194
Quality Street
MISS SUSAN
Pleasure! Oh, Phoebe.
PHOEBE
' That they will resume school on the 5th of
next month. Music, embroidery, the back-
board, and all the elegancies of the mind.
Latin — shall we say algebra ? '
MISS SUSAN
I refuse to write algebra.
PHOEBE
— for beginners.
MISS SUSAN
I refuse. There is only one thing I can
write ; it writes itself in my head all day.
' Miss Susan Throssel presents her compliments
to the Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta
Turnbull, and requests the honour of their
presence at the nuptials of her sister Phoebe
and Captain Valentine Brown.'
PHOEBE
Susan !
195
Quality Street [ACT
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe I (A door is Jieard banging?) He
has returned I
PHOEBE
Oh cruel, cruel. Susan, I am so alarmed.
MISS SUSAN
I will face him.
PHOEBE
Nay, if it must be, I will.
(But when he enters he is not very
terrible.}
VALENTINE
Miss Phoebe, it is not raining, but your face
is wet. I wish always to kiss you when your
face is wet.
PHOEBE
Susan !
VALENTINE
Miss Livvy will never trouble you any more,
Miss Susan. I have sent her home.
MISS SUSAN
Oh, sir, how can you invent such a story
for us.
196
Quality Street
VALENTINE
I did not. I invented it for the Misses
Willoughby and Miss Henrietta, who from
their windows watched me put her into my
carriage. Patty accompanies her, and in a few
hours Patty will return alone.
MISS SUSAN
Phoebe, he has got rid of Livvy !
PHOEBE
Susan, his face hasn't changed !
VALENTINE
Dear Phoebe Throssel, will you be Phoebe
Brown ?
PHOEBE
{Quivering) You know everything ? And
that I am not a garden ?
VALENTINE
I know everything, ma'am — except that.
PHOEBE
(So very glad to be prim at the end] Sir, the
197
Quality Street [ACTIV.
dictates of my heart enjoin me to accept your
too flattering offer. (He puts Jier cap in his
pocket. He kisses her. MISS SUSAN is about
to steal away.} Oh, sir, Susan also. (He
kisses MISS SUSAN also ; and here we bid them
good-bye?)
The End.
Printed by T. and A. CONSTABLE, Printers to His Majesty
at the Edinburgh University Press
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